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For episode - by - episode spoilers of Brad 's season , click on the link above that says " Bachelor Brad Spoilers " ( it 's like , 1 ″ inch above this sentence . Twice ) . It had a breakdown of every date , rose , and elimination , all the way down to Brad 's final choice . Which of course was modified since there was some kinda big news revealed on Feb . 28th . Don 't know if you heard . This column is strictly going to focus on the ATFR and the aftermath of this season . I never recap the 2 hour finale in the season ending recap for the sole reason that there 's really no point . It 's a lot of mush , a lot of nothing , a lot of dead time where not a lot goes on . Plus , we knew the outcome , so it 's not like anything you saw last night should 've surprised you . What surprised me though was sometimes I wonder whether or not people actually read my site , or they play the " telephone " game with friends and things get completely lost in translation . I was shocked , to say the least , at how many tweets and emails I got right around the time Brad sent Chantal packing last night along the lines of " You were wrong ! " , or , " You said he picked Chantal " etc . Have people not read ANYTHING on this site since Feb . 28th ? I mean , maybe you missed the column that Monday the 28th where I stated there was a different ending , but in every column since then ( and there 's been five of them ) , it was repeated numerous times Brad is engaged to Emily . Very bizarre . I 'd say that 's about as good as you 're gonna get . For three months was I wrong about Brad and Chantal being together ? Absolutely . But ever since Feb . 24th , every word I 've written on this site has ended up turning out to be true . I 'm definitely happy I was able to redeem myself and if you think that somehow ABC is on to me , or they know my sources , or I won 't have anything in the future , you couldn 't be more wrong . If they were , how did I get everything from Feb . 24th on about the finale and ATFR ? The more seasons this franchise keeps producing , the more seasons I will spoil . It 's as simple as that . I mean , here we are on March 15th ( Three years to the day that I adopted Maddie by the way ) , and already I 'm about to give you news on Ashley Hebert 's season , which begins filming either today or tomorrow from what I 'm told . So in honor of Ashleys season beginning filming this week , I figured I 'd give you the name and picture of one of our first confirmed contestants . Right now , I 've currently got five names and a couple pictures , but I 'll just do one today , then I 'm sure as I continue with updates , you 'll be getting more and more info as the season continues filming . Just because we 're in the " off season " of this show doesn 't mean there 's news to report . The " off season " is actually where most of my work is done . So just like last " off season " ( October thru December ) , I will be updating you on spoilers and confirming contestants . Anyway , this guys name is Benjamin ( Ben ) Castoriano , and he 's a lawyer from New Orleans . Click here to look at one of his bio pages . Also , here are a couple pictures of him . Ben Castoriano " Ashley and Ben , sittin ' in a tree … " Ok , maybe it 's a little early for that , but I just thought I 'd get the party started early on this one . I wonder if Ben is gonna slap her out of the limo ? Or show up that night and say , " Wait a second . Where 's Chantal ? Or Michelle ? " Awwwww , I 'm kidding . I 'm glad Ashley is the " Bachelorette " and am actually looking forward to her season . Not that I care whether or not she ends up in love , but to me , she 's likable and by all means if things work out for her , then that 'd be a good thing . If not , oh well . Just be another failed couple from this show , which there are plenty of , so no shame in that . On to last night … Here was the video from my " Good Morning Texas " appearance yesterday morning . A lot of fun . Hopefully we can do this every season so more people in the DFW area will hear me spoil the ending . Awesome . First want to thank everyone who came out to Bailey 's last night for the viewing party . Great crowd , sorry that the seating was a little scarce , but I thought the audio problem got fixed and for the most part everyone had a good time . I know Laurel got her fair share of questioning from people , but after that ATFR show last night , I think it 's pretty safe to say that , well , maybe she isn 't off her rocker like most people seem to think . We 'll get to that later . But thanks again everyone for coming out . I took more pictures than I can possibly remember , half of which I don 't remember all that much , but it was still a good time all around . I 'm sure we 'll do it again for Ashleys premiere of the " Bachelorette " on May 23rd , so set your calendars now . Wanted to also remind everyone to the " Reality Rocks Expo " happening at the LA Convention Center on April 9th & 10th that I will be attending . Actually , I 'll only be there Saturday the 9th due to a prior obligation on Sunday , but it should be pretty fun . Click on the link below as it has all the details and information you need to know from who 's gonna be there , to what type of discussions and panel events they 're having , etc : Looks like they 're adding more and more people as we get close to the event , and as I mentioned last week , at some point I will have free passes to give away . So here 's what I want you to do . If you are interested in going to the event , send me an email stating that you are . Just so you know I will be fair about who gets the tickets , I 'm going to do a drawing on one of my upcoming video blogs so you can actually witness me choosing the name . Hell , maybe I 'll have Maddie choose it . I still don 't know how many passes I 'll be getting , but I was told I would be getting some in exchange for promoting their event and being a sponsor . So if you 're interested , just send me a quick email so I can put those emails aside until the drawing . The event is in a month , so it looks like I 'll do the drawing in 2 weeks . That 'll give anyone out of state who may end up winning time to book a flight and hotel . These passes are just for entrance into the event and nothing else . One last thing before I give my thoughts on everything we saw last night , and that 's in regards to Molly and Jason on the ATFR . Outside of the " Wow , Emily is a kind of a bitch " emails which have been the # 1 topic on emails and tweets , the second biggest topic was Molly saying during the ATFR how hard it was to watch Jason propose to someone else . This led many people to believe that meant Molly and Jason had been in touch with each other before Jason and Melissa broke up . Huh ? I mean , I know it was two years ago and maybe some people 's memories escape them , but that that was not an admission of anything . When Jason / Molly / Melissa taped that ATFR , it was in late January of 2009 , a full six weeks before their finale aired . So when they left that taping and Jason and Molly began their relationship from that day on , there was still six weeks of episodes to watch every Monday night . That was what was so unusual about that whole situation is they taped the ATFR six weeks before the show was done . Then remember , they had an ATFR 2 that taped a - Jan . 2009 : Jason 's season begins airing - Next night : ATFR 2 is shown , Jason and Molly come back to tell everyone what the last six weeks have been like together . I think that 's about as clear as I can make it . Molly didn 't reveal anything scandalous last night by saying watching him propose to Melissa was hard on her . thewipf March 15 , 2011 at 12 : 30 PM I loved it when Emily said she was trying to figure out what is real vs reality tv . Then all three couples saying , don 't watch the show it will mess you up . Translation being that ABC does such a good job distorting reality that is even messes up the people that were there and know what really happened . It seems like ABC should have someone sit these couples down and remind them that it 's their job to make the rest of the world think he is falling in love with someone else . It also seems like it would be good for ABC to pick up the tab on some relationship counseling for a few months now to help with the transition . I know Fleiss doesn 't actually care about the couples but the more wins that this show picks up it seems like the more people will buy into it . BrookeC March 15 , 2011 at 12 : 37 PM Homely first Bachelor for a homely Bachelorette . This was a HUGE mistake . Ashley H has the personality and grammar of a teenager . People will turn away in droves after the first episode . Emily is a manipulative brat . She is " That Girl " that makes guys fall head over heels for her , leads them around on a leash and then says ' I Cain 't . . mah daughter is mah prioritah " , using poor Ricki as a crutch . Unless a guy has millions to upkeep her Chiclet teeth , Emily will never stick around . She was ending it on the show clearly but then would throw him a look stating " Babe ? ? ? I luuuuhv you " reeling him in further . I believe Brad wholeheartedly would have married her last night . She however hates his ass … . . muskiexu March 15 , 2011 at 12 : 39 PM Seems to me that there is more Jake in Brad than we could see in the episodes . There were times when his anger was simmering below the surface ( Brad never did well with women who showed doubt , anxiety or needed reassurance ) . Emily pushed his buttons just by asking reasonable questions about parenting rather than falling for his " knight on a white horse " act offering to care for and protect Emily and her daughter . To me , the fact that they have had " knock - down drag - out " fights is a sign that Emily is doing the right thing staying in NC . They clearly hadn 't seen each other or talked much in the last month . My guess is that they wish they were in love , but there 's been serious damage . Brad 's inability to be kind during Emily 's distress is the missing ingredient . She 's wise to be cautious . I 'd say : Run ! 1 ) Brad and Emily are by far the most REALISTIC couple on this show because they are not rushing to get married . They understand that they have to give their relationship time out in the real world before Emily moves her whole life to Austin . People tend to forget that she has a DAUGHTER too , not just her own life to think about . I think Emily has EVERY right to proceed with caution . It is not reality to marry someone after spending a few unrealistically magical dates together . They need to be a couple , go to moves and do normal couple things before taking the next step . They just need to take Roberto 's advice ( and Molly 's ) about being them two and NOT worrying about what the haters say . 2 . I am SO thrilled he picked Emily . If Chantal was so " in love " with Brad , would she have really moved on to another guy as soon as she got home ? Speaking from past experiences of heart break , I wouldnt even think about dating anyone else , let alone atually doing so . I don 't think Chantal was in love with Brad , I think she fell in love with the idea of Brad . 3 . What 's up with people thinking Emily is " so not interested " in Brad ? ? Just because she is not jumping in his arms and proclaiming her love to the whole entire world does not mean she is not in love . People express their emotions differently , and maybe Emily is just not a loud and expressive person . She has been this way all season long , it does not mean she does not care for Brad . I think those two were obviously happy and in love . Anyway , that 's my ramble . I am SO happy for both of them and I usually do not care if couples off this show make it , but I am REALLY REALLY pulling for Emily and Brad because they are perfect for each other . I just hope they take the time to themselves and make it through the hard times . After watching ATFR , I 'm afraid Brad is going to end up pretty hurt . I felt bad for him . Emily wasn 't confident in anything she said other than " no " in response to the question of moving to Austin . I 'm confused . Did she really accept a proposal from a man she wouldn 't be willing to move for ? She definitely comes across as a woman who always gets her way and even though it 'd be great if this worked out , I 'm afraid Brad 's going to end up hurt . Guess we 'll see … DallasMs March 15 , 2011 at 12 : 56 PM @ Julia - totally agree about Emily 's new look last night . FAR better than the major platinum bleach she sported on the show . Being a Dallasite and having the opportunity to be at the finale … a comment I found very interesting was by 2 women who don 't watch the show and were caught in the " Viewing " group and sitting next to me . One commented to me that he was definitely picking Emily . I said , what makes you say that ? She said body language . Look at him with Emily … he can 't keep his hands off her . With the brunette , it 's much more playful and " friend - like " . A totally different language than with Emily . And she 's right . Steve hits the nail on the head about tension … and mixed signals at the AFR . Since I 'm stupid enough to watch this show ( no , I don 't give it much credibility other than entertainment value ! ) … I 'm ready for another " win " , and would love to see these 2 make it . I 'm not feeling very confident it 's going to happen . At all . Emily 's comment - we need to learn how to fight . WTF ? ? ? I thnk a better coined phrase is . . we need to learn how to COMMUNICATE . Couldn 't help but chuckle when she said she came across as boring … and even SHE would have picked someone else ! Yep , the Southern Belle pulled out the velvet hammer alright . She is NOT taking any of Brad 's $ hit . Oh … and now that it comes to mind … . maybe Brad WAS singing to Emily with his rendition of Fireworks ! They were going off last night for sure . MegD55 March 15 , 2011 at 1 : 04 PM I guess I am in the minority here but I actually felt bad for Emily last night … I don 't think I would be able to get over the Laurel tabloid drama either … it would definitely throw quite a few doubts into an already abnormal dating situation … I would certainly be questioning the man I had met on the show vs . the real man as well . They clearly seemed to be dancing around the subject last night and Emily was clearly not allowed to bring it up . Yet the blame was falling on her for their relationship having issues . If that information came out on a man I fell in love with and I had been planning on uprooting my childs life to come live with him I would definitely take a step back and need more time as well . They would have been ridiculous to get married on the AFTR as he clearly needs to prove to her the man he is offcamera is the same man she met and his motives were true vs . what his texts to Laurel showed … . noisy parker March 15 , 2011 at 1 : 13 PM Switching from fantasy to real world is difficult at the best of times . In the real world none of this happens , and with all the tabloids out there wanting the news , it would be hard for a person to instantly fall in love with someone . So let 's give Em and Brad some breathing space , plus all the baggage they have broght to the situation is enough to sort through and see if they in fact are compatible . I don 't think for one second that Emily was manipulative at all . She was very honest and to the point with everything . Some people think that she was being a bitch , but she was being HONEST in the nicest way possible with everything said . When Brad poured his heart out to her in the hotel room about wanting to be there as a father and a perfect husband , she was just asking what that means to him and his reaction & demeanor completely change . He became very defensive and I could see how much he was holding back his anger - I bet his temper is WORSE than Jake 's towards Vienna . He was sweating and clenching his jaw and seemed so angry that she even questioned his ability to be a father / husband . Because of his reaction , I place him in the same category as the asshole Jake . It almost seemed like he could jump up and start throwing things around and start yelling " Look bitch ! I told you what I would do , stop questioning me or else you 're gonna get the back hand ! " He wouldn 't even let her get him some water . He is a control freak and she does NOT need that , especially for her daughter . She is now in control of their future because it seems to be her decision why they haven 't rushed to the alter and why she is contemplating the move . I bet that is why their conversations and meetings have become volatile , because he is trying to " put her in her place . " Asshole . Geeze . . . . . it 's getting me all worked up thinking about it , but hopefully Emily is smart and realizes it 'll be the worse decision to marry him . . . . agreed with " muskiexu " - RUN ! ! hubsmom07 March 15 , 2011 at 1 : 16 PM I just don 't get why its such a stretch that Emily doesn 't want to move to another state with a 5 yr old after only knowing someone a couple of months . Molly and Jason had the long distance thing and then she moved but she didn 't have anything holding her back from moving . Emily 's daughter is still in school , I 'm sure she has friends and family in NC , she better be quite sure in the relationship before she uproots a child . I think she is one of the more sane ones to come out of this show . Chantal was upset and crying because Brad used her for sex in the treehouse . Chantal was hoping to hear that he was in love with her or falling in love with her on the fantasy suites date , but later developed stronger feelings for Emily . However , since Brad has said it was Emily from early on , Chantal felt used and I don 't blame her . As for Emily 's attitude last night . . I always thought she was a little insecure this whole season . But I think her part of her problem last night was that she just had to watch the whole season of Brad , her " love " , kissing , making out and professing his feelings with other women … every Monday night ( as she kept pointing out ) . . who wouldn 't be insecure ? ? I think that is what they 've been fighting over this whole time and he 's trying to reassure her and she just sees what she sees on TV every week . Honestly though … I dont know if it was the ABC editing department or just me … but I would have bet a years salary that he would have chosen Chantel last night . To me , there was more between Brad and Chantel and maybe Emily felt the same way and has been frustrated every week . Ashley H is a BAD CHOICE ! ! Very boring , not that attractive … bad bad choice ! ! I 'm HOPING that since they did not officially announce her being the bachelorette last night that they 've changed their minds ! ! ! ! On a different note , I loved Emily 's new look ! Her hair looked so much prettier a little darker blonde , a little shorter , and sleeker . Her make - up was also much better and more natural - looking ( not so made - up looking like it was on the show ) . I loved her dress , too . On the other hand , I hate Ashley H . 's new look . She looked so much like the all - American girl next door on the show , and now she looks like a completely different person with weird - colored hair and hair extensions . There 's no way that 's her natural color , b / c there 's nothing natural about orangish - brown hair with fake waves and hair extensions . I also hate that heavy , brown make - up , dark eye shadow , and reddish - orange lips . It 's just terrible ! She looked so much prettier when she was on the show . halley skylight March 15 , 2011 at 1 : 24 PM JH , yes , I agree …. " used her for sex in the treehouse . " LOL . But how can you not feel a little bad for Chantal . She seemed genuinely hurt and felt foolish . I thought she handled herself pretty well . Although Chantal wasn 't picked , wasn 't she contractual obligated to keep that a secret so it didn 't " spoil " the finale ? If so , how can she already be so involved with someone else by the time ATFR taped ? Isn 't that revealing the " secret " that she wasn 't picked ? It seems strange that it was brought up on the show . Does Team Bachelor provide a " safe house " for Chantal 's dates with what 's - his - name as they do for Brad and Emily ? ( I can 't believe I care enough about this stupid show to write this question ) . I think it 's Chris Harrison . You two act like you hate each other , talk crap about each other … but I really think that y ' all are friends and he is the one that gives you all the spoiler info . Again - just my opinion ! ! 🙂 Vanilla Thunder March 15 , 2011 at 1 : 35 PM I thought Brad and Emily 's honesty was refreshing , even though it made things tense and awkward . And I thought the audience 's negative reactions to Emily 's statements about not being ready to marry Brad today or move to Austin today were kind of ridiculous . ( But maybe they were coached to react like that ? ) If not , would they uproot their whole life , not to mention their child 's life , to commit to a man they barely know ? Well , maybe they would , and that 's why they were seemingly so aghast . " How could Emily stray from the fairy tale script ? ? ? We must have our happy ending ! No deviations from our expectations ! " I wish Brad and Emily well , but I don 't feel too optimistic about them staying together . The whole process they 've gone through , from her being among 25 women competing for his attention , to fantasy dates that most likely would never happen in the real world ( and very little contact w / each other the rest of the time ) , to being on camera the entire time - how is that a recipe for a successful relationship ? I know , I know , that 's what this show is ; that 's its format . But seeing the ATFR last night really drove home to me that The Bachelor / ette is essentially a game show , and the couple that is formed by it is uniquely disadvantaged . No wonder they 've only had 3 " successes " in 21 seasons . I 'm kind of surprised that they 've had any . But that 's part of its draw - the hope that maybe THIS time the bachelor / ette will find love , their perfect match , even though the chances are remote . And even though every time I watch the show I get a little more weary of it , I 'm sure I 'll tune in to see how things shake out for Ashley . divrdwn41 March 15 , 2011 at 1 : 37 PM Ok , so consider this . They will never date again . Emily is being the honest one . This is still a TV program and they had to have this episode last night . Emily had to show up , Brad had to make the season sound like a true story . So Brad had to continue the act . We watched him act all season long , act on each date , act with the " therapist " , act at each rose ceremony . So why surprised with his performance last night ? It is acknowledged he has a temper and that is something I dont feel Emily would accept around Ricki . The picture of him as he sat next to her listening looks to me like the man who is thinking " just wait till we are outta her girlie " . And then his temper lets go . And why is it , she has to uproot herself and Ricki and move to Austin to make it work ? I know , I know he has business in Austin . There are a lot of people who have a business and live elsewhere . Regardless of what he professes to , my thought says he had already given up on the relationship prior to the ATFR . But to get his last and final check he had to perform for the cameras . Siryn March 15 , 2011 at 1 : 50 PM In my opinion ( and that 's all it is since I obviously don 't know either of these people ) , Brad was looking for a wife who would be seen and not heard . It just seems like he wants someone who will sit back , be quiet and just accept everything that he does and says without giving him any grief . I think he thought that Emily was just that person - she appeared very ladylike , quiet , and really went with the flow of it all . But once she started seeing or realizing everything else that was happening on his other dates , she couldn 't totally accept it and did give him some grief over it . He in turn , with that temper of his , threw tantrums like a little two year - old . So I can definitely see why she 's so hesitant to move to Austin until they can really figure out if it 's going to work between them . I didn 't think that she came across as being bitchy at all - just a much more confident woman than what was portrayed on The Bachelor . I say good for her - Brad just seems so smarmy to me , like he wants to always be the one in control and when he doesn 't get his way , he lashes out . I 'm sure Emily isn 't all sunshine and roses either , but I do think that she can do much , much better than Brad . Of course she has issues - who wouldn 't with the past that she has ? But I just hope that she can realize who Brad truly is and that he 'll probably never change . I mean the guy is 38 and has never married or settled down for the long - term . He 's so self - absorbed and has major anger and control issues . Doesn 't seem like all that therapy really helped . JANEABELLE March 15 , 2011 at 1 : 52 PM I think Emily pulled a little switcheroo on Brad . During filming she was sweet and amiable and probably agreed with everything he said . After , she became herself which isn 't exactly who she was before . We all know that happens , and I 'll bet that 's why he was so frustrated with her . Can 't blame the guy for being mad if all along she 'd been telling him one thing and he based a relationship on it , only to have her pull the rug out from under him at the end . And I agree with Steve , I don 't think Brad is capable of acting so well . His reaction to her words ( visible flinching ) during ATFR were very telling . He loves her , he 's sincere . I wonder what Emily 's arrangement with the Hendricks family is ? If the rumors about her not actually working are true , they must be giving her more than enough to support herself and Ricki . Wonder if that well would dry up if she marries ? JH March 15 , 2011 at 1 : 56 PM halley skylight … I hope you didn 't take my post the wrong way because I didn 't mean to be crass or rude in any way , in the way I explained why Chantal was upset . Brad is a first class a - hole , " if " he honestly knew he loved Emily and still slept with Chantal " for fun " . Chantal was actually my favorite ever since the late night beach date , where it started to rain . Emily is like a barbie doll , that most guys dream of , but something was missing all season long and that something showed itself ATFR . I couldn 't wait for this column so I posted more of my thoughts under RS 's previous column , last night . One of my main points thought was that a lot of guys actually like " emotional " women like Chantal , but rather than being like Tenley or Ashley S . , Chantal was emotional , but also a strong and confident woman , as well ( which I found very attractive ) . halley skylight March 15 , 2011 at 2 : 02 PM JH , no I think I understand your comment 100 % and agree . Of course both Chantal and Emily were vexed if he slept with both of them and if he had purported to already know that Emily was the one by that time . No wonder both the girls are a bit ticked . Makes sense to me … . ( even though they 've both probably seen the show before ) . Mrs . B March 15 , 2011 at 2 : 06 PM I think Emily is a woman who is aware of her beauty and definitely put her " best face forward " during the show because she didn 't want to lose . I think she is used to men being infatuated with her and falling for her . Obviously she wanted to make it to the end and have Brad pick her . She made it and now she can relax and tap into what she really wants out of a partner and relationship . Brad is a douche . C ' mon . He is the WORST . I hate his face and his monotone voice . All of that aside , did anyone else notice that the engagement ring he gave her looks a LOT like the engagement ring she had with Ricky ? No wonder she didn 't want to wear it . CREEPY ! ! als3642 March 15 , 2011 at 2 : 06 PM I have to completely agree that there is some Jake in Brad . As in , we see this guy who appears to have it all together , just genuinely looking for love but when SLIGHTLY pushed , is volatile and shows his true colors . No one was a bigger Vienna hater than I was , no one . I actually coined a phrase called varfing - Vienna induced barfing . ANYWAY ! … ATFR I still thought she was a wt - magnet drama queen ( shed probably prefer I use princess in pink comic sans ) I went from team Jake to team , " WTF , youre both loco as hell " . Point is . . Ashley H questioned Brad , he turned on her immediately and pushed her out . Had she not done that I 100 % believe she would have been in final 2 . Emily is probably doing the same , with good reason , because marriage and uprooting her child are not to be taken lightly . I assume her unwillingness to move to Austin , get married ATFR taping ( which is dumb as rocks ) etc , probably caused Brad to act the way he did when he had the " serious conversation " with Ashley H . Why he waited to do it that far along i dont know , its all fun and games till home town dates I guess ? Idiots … errr Bachelors . I have only been watching since Mesnicks season but I have to say Pulling a Mesnick is far more admirable than Pulling a Pavelka and I think Brad is on the same path that Jake and Vienna went down . Its sad , because after all the scrutinity you want these things to work out in both peoples best interest , but I dont know if staying together is just that for these two . Reality Steve : people take this waaaay to seriously , do they not understand you are only as good as your sources ? The reason you are here is because the sources need an outside person in order to keep their anonymity , aka keep them from A : losing their jobs B : getting sued or C : Both . Its fun to read the spoilers , who doesnt like hearing secrets ? And why if it bothers them so much and they " hate looking at your ugly ass face on your banner " are they on the site ? ? ? They are probably like me and hate themselamsf32 March 15 , 2011 at 2 : 09 PM Interesting … . my take - I liked Emily SO MUCH more after watching her last night on ATFR . I didn 't like her perfect sweet - Barbiness on the show , but last night she showed herself as a honest , assertive woman . She can do so much better than Brad . SO much better . amsf32 March 15 , 2011 at 2 : 13 PM Also , I agree 100 % with amylynn . I think brad has some serious , serious anger and defensiveness issues . His reaction to Emily during the father discussion was a HUGE indicator of his temper . RTV March 15 , 2011 at 2 : 15 PM These two will never make . Put a bet on that . She is just not that into Brad . He picked the ball buster … it 's actually hilarious . He let Michelle go cause he didn 't want arguing . Ashley H . let her go , he didn 't want a roller coaster relationship . Let Chantal go , he didn 't want drama ( due to her crying ) . . but he keeps the fake one who " acted " like she was none of those things , when in real life , she is EVERYONE of those things . Brad is a tool , Emily is a bitch . Good luck with that . kpetz March 15 , 2011 at 2 : 33 PM Frankly , it sounds like his temper is pretty bad . I wouldn 't want that kind of man around my kids ! You never know what that means … but it sounded bad to me . She definitely seemed much less interested than brad . But , why was she so upset about him with other girls … . she had to know what happens on the show ! Duh ! He 's gotta do what the producers tell him , so her jealousy seemed strange ! I 'd be jealous too , but I would hope the guy prepared me ! Well , I 'd never compete with 24 girls for one guy … . moot point ! Rachelleanne March 15 , 2011 at 2 : 41 PM I TOTALLY agree with muskiexu and amylynn . Emily is smart and I think she knows there are huge red flags with Brad . Did you see how pissed he was that she dare ask him some honest , deep questions about parenting ? Turning red and sweating , needing a drink of water . What an immature ass . She had a right to know those questions , especially since he might freaking PROPOSE to her ! Come on . So I totally believe that he has temper tantrum problems . Second of all , why should Emily have to be the one to move her life AND HER LITTLE GIRL to be with Brad ? If he doesn 't want to live without her , he can make a sacrifice and move to be with her . That is what real love does . It self sacrifices for the benefit of the other person . I never thought Emily went on the show to find love , but rather to find fame and it probably shocked the hell out of her that this guy fell for her . From what I saw last night , she is nothing but self - centered , self - absorbed , and considers herself to be a princess to be adored and doted on and have her every whim catered to . GAG ! All I heard was " me " and all she did was throw him under the bus . It would appear that she doesn 't even like him that much and " love " isn 't even in her vocabulary . Knowing he will have to go out with other girls is different from seeing him happily partake in makeouts , sex and telling them how special they are . Way back when , it was pretty easy to tell who Trista was going to choose . I don 't think she even kissed the other guy after a certain point . In my opinion , that is a huge factor in why these relationships never work : They are built on a foundation of unfaithfulness and uncertainty . That other contestants don 't mention this doesn 't mean they haven 't felt it or it hasn 't been a big issue in their private relationship . You see someone being intimate with another woman a day before he proposes ? I don 't blame Emily for being hesitant to uproot her daughter after that . Now , if he had been friendly but platonic with the others after a certain point , I 'm sure she 'd feel differently . I don 't think Brad is a bad guy , but for being 38 years old , he should have realized how she might feel and be more sensitive . Did he really think she 'd be okay with that ? He still hasn 't learned after the first show - stop leading people on ! Emily has every right to feel suspicious about his feelings at this point . Especially after the Laurel stuff . Sunnyside422 March 15 , 2011 at 3 : 02 PM Let 's not forget that the Henricks bank roll Emily 's life and style ! She is totally dependent on them and I will guess that perhaps they have made it clear that they will cease financing her life if she moves . This woman is not supporting herself and let 's face it , Brad is not in the same multi millionaire status . Had to laugh at the Barbie Doll , little ole Southern Belle turning into a shrewd woman . Course she could articulate a bit more than simply saying " you know , you know , you know " ! Totally uneducated ! I hope she can see that the anger Braed displays BEFORE marriage would escalate considerably AFTER the marriage . He is not well put together emotionally and can 't deal with a 25 year old ( she just had a b - day ) when he is 38 ! He is the same twat he was his first season and just a waste of air time ! I would call this kind of love " Enchanted Love " . Enchantment is like " a spell that comes over us . " And that 's exactly what seems to happen when we experience love at first sight . and questions arise as to whether this is really the person we want to have in our lives . I think that " real " love is forged in the flames of enduring trying times together . Working through problems together . You have to wonder why a really fabulous guy has to go on a tv show to find love . Emily is 24 . That is so very young . She needs to mature more and Brad is a total doofus . Hell , I thought he was going to pick Chantal after all when he got pissed off at Emily because she was asking him if he was SURE he wanted to be involved with a child - ! msquared March 15 , 2011 at 3 : 21 PM According to one of Brad 's friends , he has not seen Ricki Tick since that day in Charlotte last fall . Yet , they were planning to get married last week ? ? ? ! ! ! Yeah Right ! thatmeowgirl March 15 , 2011 at 3 : 26 PM I was going to say " Big deal that you got everything right since Feb . 24th . The taping was full of people who could have spoken . " but then I read you adopted Maddie , which is the right way to go so I don 't want to be mean to you . Ellieanne March 15 , 2011 at 3 : 41 PM I believe Brad was very sincere last night on ATFR . His feelings for Emily are honest , I think . However , I did see his jaw clench several times in response to things both Chantal and Emily said , which leads me to believe he 's VERY controlling , which would make me believe his temper is a major issue . I also think Emily was sincere when she 'd lean into Brad , smile at him , and hug him , but I also think she has some serious reservations about their relationship . I think she 's torn between the Brad she fell for , and the Brad she now knows off camera . If I had a little girl who never knew her father , and had lived her life without one , I 'm pretty sure I 'd be VERY careful about who I gave my heart to as this man could be the only father my child might know . It 's one thing to accept a proposal when you 're footloose and fancy free , ride the fame train , and then dump the person or be dumped . But it 's a whole different story when you have a child and you have to make a decision that will uproot your child from everything she has ever known . To take her from her grandparents , school , friends , home , and have her around a step - family most of the time , can be traumatic for a child . So for that reason , I think Emily will take it slowly . At least I hope so . I also think that taking it slowly is what will undo this couple . I think the more Emily comes to know Brad outside of the spotlight , and at long - distance as well , she 's going to find that she may not really be all that in love as she was in the glow of the Bachelor cameras , locations and adventures . Everyday life can be mundane which is good for Rikki , but not necessarily for Brad and Emily 's future . I also think Brad needs to back off and not pressure Emily into a decision or she 'll run rather than be with him . No one , man or woman , wants to be pressured or controlled , so if Brad wants a life with Emily , he 'd better take it easy and follow her lead . Compromise has its virtues … dandygirl March 15 , 2011 at 3 : 44 PM Whoa . People are way out of line to assert that Brad is abusive , either verbally or physically . Out of line . Just because someone admits he has a temper does not mean he would hurt someone . Don 't you think Laurel would have said something about that if that was how he was ? Frankly , I think Brad was telling Emily she was the one the whole time for a couple of reasons . First , it 's something that Fleiss would definitely edit out , in order to keep the season interesting . Second , it would completely explain why Emily is pissed while watching the show . He definitely was making connections with the other girls . He kept Chantal until the end , and no , you don 't have to have a final two … Ali cut Chris before their final date . Also - How much were they trying to put Chantal as the " Black Swan " and Emily as the " White Swan . " Chantal even had a bunch of feathers on her dress ! I 'm sure Steve would have liked it if it turned out like the movie with Chantal and Emily … lol sweetness34 March 15 , 2011 at 3 : 54 PM The body language between Brad and Emily was interesting yesterday . On one hand , there was the tension and conflict . On the other hand , they seemed like the wanted to go off and bone somewhere . It was just an odd scene all around . Also - did anyone else see Laurel on Inside Edition yesterday ? It was a great interview . She came across as articulate and likable , and I find her credible . With everything we have heard and seen , I wholeheartedly agree there are red flags with this guy . I also wanted to comment on the couples they had on . I agree Steve that Ali / Roberto were premature . So far , I don 't think they have even dated as long as Andrew Firestone and Jen Schefft ( sp ? ) , or Byron and Mary . I won 't count them as a success until they actually wed . No one gives a flying f # ck about her past relationship . For all anyone knows she 's a dick tease . How sweet of her to come forward now . Bitch it 's not that hard text yourself and make it look like it 's from Brad . Same with phone calls . People he 's PAID to make a good show . He 's PAID to make you think he wants someone else . If YOU or EMILY can 't handle it , they should either NOT WATCH or NOT GO ON THE SHOW . 21 seasons of the same bull . Ellieanne March 15 , 2011 at 3 : 59 PM @ sal1968 : Maybe his sisters - in - law have introduced him to other single women , but they just never clicked . It happens . Maybe the girls " just weren 't that into him " or saw his temper , or he spent too much time with work , or at the gym , or whatever … it just didn 't work out . I would love to hear from someone who knows him well , but doesn 't have an axe to grind , or isn 't into fame , tell the real story of Brad and what he 's like . Same with Emily . There must be someone who knows her who can talk about her life honestly , without bias . Why is it we only hear from those who supposedly know them so well , tell how horrible / bought / fake / manipulative / mean these people are ? So how do explain all of the sightings last night in Austin after the finale aired ? The ATFC was filmed last week . They did a PEOPLE photoshoot last Wedneday and there are multiple pictures of them together last night on Twitter . I think your source doesn 't know much . They are indeed not over for good . You must be logged in to post a comment Login Leave a Reply Cancel replyYou must be logged in to post a comment . Some ATFR Notes … Is the Final Couple Still Together ? Mike Fleiss Sucks at Math Home
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Tagsaddiction , blog , depression , family , father , fiction , life , narrative , short story , story , thoughts , writing Walking up to you wasn 't easy . Monitors stood by your bed with tubes plugged in leading to needles that saliently pierced your skin . I was facing you but I could not help but to watch the heart monitor . You laid there with your eyes closed . I didn 't want to wake you . I didn 't want to talk to you . In fact the starchy hospital atmosphere made me want to run far away from you . " Okay , right . You suddenly started forgetting about your medication out of the blue . You didn 't even warn me I could find you having a seizure ! " I replied shaking my head . I remember I was opening the door to leave . You don 't just forget to take your medication you 've been on your whole life I thought . I didn 't understand how you could just forget or even forget to tell me that you have epilepsy . It just isn 't something you don 't mention to your son . I slammed the door shut in front of me . " Why do you even bother ? I haven 't seen her in 10 years besides for once when she wanted money for drugs . Her eyes were bled shot . It is obvious she doesn 't - " " She 's my wife ! I said vows , ' for better and for worse . ' Rick , I know you don 't understand . You don 't know what we have been through . What I have been through and most of all what she has been through . You don 't know . " " It doesn 't matter what you were . You aren 't now but she is . You have been here for my whole life while she ditched me - us , when I was 6 years old ! " " I got addicted to epilepsy pills . It didn 't stop there though . I did crack and heroin . I dragged your mother into my drug crusade . It 's my fault that - " " She did stop . We both did when we found out she was pregnant with you . We stayed clean too , " your voice started trailing off into a deep saturated whisper , " When you were two years old , we found out she was pregnant again with twins . We were driving to the hospital for a check up when we got into a car accident . She was only 7 months pregnant when she went into labor . " I could see your body trembling . I didn 't know what to think . I didn 't know what to say . It felt like you were telling me as if it happened an hour ago . You placed your hand over your heart and squeezed your shirt as if you were really squeezing your heart . You gasped for air , " It was my fault . " I remember your voice ; your pain seethed into my heart . Tears flowed down your cheeks against your will . The heart monitor beeped rapidly . The nurses rushed in and yelled at me to get out of the room . I glanced at you and mindlessly walked out and sat on the bench outside . Two younger siblings I would 've had . A mother I would 've had . A father who didn 't live in guilt every day of his life I would 've had . I would 've had a perfect family , a perfect life . Perfect . Perfection . I dug my hand into my pocket and popped a few more pills in my mouth . Everything would 've been perfect . But here I was sitting outside of your hospital bed alone . Tagsblog , daily prompt , depression , dp , faith , hope , inspiration , inspire , life , mystories , numb , personal , thoughts , understanding , wordpress prompt The worst thing about the onset of depression though is not having anyone to help you . It 's such a struggle . At some point , you become self destructive socially . You become torn so much you seek for attention , willing to do anything for anyone at any given time . It doesn 't matter if you just only met this person or have only known him or her for a week or month , you cling on to this person . Then the person fades away . So , you find someone else to cling to but then eventually this person fades away too . Then the circle just keeps going until you isolate yourself . Away from everyone . And nobody is going to help anyway . There 's nobody there . Not one single family member , not any friend you ever made , you have nobody . No one wants to help a " dead beat " like you . No one needs you . No one wants you . No one . Then you look at your life . Where are you at now ? You don 't have a single person to be there for you . There 's nothing significant with your name on it . You practically have nothing in your bank account . There you are . You just are there . You 're life means nothing . Then you watch the news where people who succeed in doing something great and then they say something like , " I could not have done this without help . " You look down , scowl at your hands , nudge your feet together , and hold your breath for some time . Right , if only someone would help you . If only someone cared . If only I was important to someone . If only . Slowly over time , depression intensifies and evolves into numbness . The epitome of sadness . The woes and the fears exceed into this dark , dark tunnel . A tunnel with nothing in it but you and darkness . It 's the epic of every tragic suicide . You don 't want to experience numbness , it 's more painful than feeling sad . It 's horrible . You can 't feel anything . You can 't think about anything . You can 't bring yourself to do anything . You 're smack in the middle of hope and no hope ; at least if you feel no hope , you know hope exists . If you 're numb , you can 't even imagine what hope or no hope are . You literally sit staring at the walls surrounding you . You have no thoughts . And when you try to think , there is nothing there . It 's just emptiness . This effect shoves you off the edge of sanity . You plead to feel or think about anything - good or bad . You just want to feel again because feeling something connects you to society , people , experiences , events , memories . Numbness is like watching the world blown to bits … And you just sit there , thinking about what you should feel . Then " this feeling " manifests all of you , devouring your brain and heart into a state of paralyzing , pure numbness . You literally can 't even think about what you should feel ; your mind is completely blank . You are just breathing at this point . You stare at the walls around you and you forget what the air feels and smells like outside . How can anyone forget what the outdoors feels like ? There 's one , two , three , four walls surrounding me , I thought . I 'm in a cage . I can 't get out . Nobody can get in . And the worst of it all , you think nothing other than that . You don 't think if it 's okay or not okay for you to feel this way . Nobody can get in and nobody can get out . You 're just in suspense , lingering in the air with no hopes or dreams or memories or ideas or thoughts or wants or no wants or anything . It 's maddening . At this part sleeping , eating , going to the bathroom , breathing regularly , and thinking are foreign reflexes . Reflexes that make a person survive are estranged habitual behaviors . You can 't fall asleep but when you do , you can 't wake up . Weight drastically drops . Food in this state of mind is toxic . It rumbles inside your stomach and you gag . The idea of food is like reaching out to drink a bottle of arsenic and drinking it . You shrivel up and you are tired all the time . You lay in bed , not wanting to move . When you need to go to the bathroom , you simply just hold it longer than what a person thinks is humanly possible . You just can 't do anything . You just lay there in a mindless state . At least if you 're sad , you feel like there 's no hope , which I think is so important to even have the idea of hope . You are in so much pain when numb you can 't even remember pain . You can 't remember sadness . You can 't remember happiness . You can 't remember the things you liked or disliked . It 's a hurricane whip - lashing and whirling in your head . It 's absolutely dreadful . You can 't even make a tear drop from your eyes . That 's why I say crying is important . Crying heals you . Because then you 'll see one day if you get up there 's hope . You can accomplish something . Death is permanent but so is this numbing feeling . When ever you don 't keep yourself busy , it just tumbles in . It 's not something you want . It 's a pain so great , people can 't even imagine living through it . Nevertheless , gradually this pain disappears even when you aren 't busy but the pain becomes apart of you . It 's there but it doesn 't stir like it did . Life gets better . You just have to keep trying and pushing . Just live . You only know your past but not your future . Who knows what is out there for you . I don 't know how numbness or depression stops , it differs per person , but every person can learn and move on from it . You just have to hang in and see . Answer : It is alright to be sad . It is more or less necessary , don 't be afraid of it . Learn from it and live life . Don 't dwell in the bad moments , dwell on the positives what you could have . Always have hope . Author 's Notes : Last week I wrote to someone who faced a lot of tragedies in his life . He is still facing them . I wrote more or this what is written in this post to him . Things happen , and they will always be with you but at some point you have to cry about it and look towards the future . Sometimes looking at the " here - and - now " is not the best advice . Have hope that things get better . I really hope things , just his mindset on things , gets better . Then slowly they will for him . I had no intention of posting this but after I read the Prompt 's question , I thought was how sad life can be and sometimes you have to push through . It 's a code that not many mention or if it is , it is not addressed in the perspective of a person who is really struggling . I have been really sick as I have had quite the time to think what I would write for this . I eventually realized what I wrote to my friend is what really what I wanted to say . So here it is . Blog Notes : I am still quite sorry I missed pretty much all last week 's stories . I am still recovering a bit . I am just more tired than actually sick now though . But my goal this week is to complete what I could not post last week hopefully . Tagsabandonment , addiction , blog , depression , father , guilty , life , mystories , parent , relationship , sad , short story , thoughts , writing Mirror Chapter 1 . Mirror Chapter 2 . Mirror Chapter 3 . This is Chapter 4 . When you walked into my room , your steps were heavy but so was your heart . I could feel it breaking - no , it was shattering into tiny fragments . You sat next to me on my bed and just broke down . I didn 't know what to feel . What could I have felt ? I was the child , the piece , between the both of you that eternally connected you and her . I was in the middle of a broken relationship and soon I learned it was much more than just that . I was in between two broken people , two broken hearts . So I just sat there re - winding my memories over and over again . Perhaps you were too . Every day of my childhood , you would smile and laugh for me . You acted as if nothing was wrong for me - for my feelings . From that day on , I realized looking into the mirror , how much I looked like you and her together . I share your brown eyes and my adolescent face was shaping to resemble yours , but I have Ma 's straight red hair . Every time I saw my reflection from then on , I subconsciously would take a pill . I wanted to be the best for you . Every day I could hear you coming home from work and weeping in your room before and after dinner . You still tried to hold a smile for me as long as you could . If I didn 't know any better , I would say you were happy . But every time you smiled I saw your eyes become glassy . A similar kind of glassy that twinkled in Ma 's eyes . They were eyes of a truly sad person . I know you wanted to be happy . You forced a smile because you wanted that happiness so badly . It was out of your reach though . And you knew it was , which only deepened your sadness even more . I remember one morning , I know you don 't though , when I woke up early before school . I heard a couple of thumping sounds . Grandma slept downstairs so she couldn 't have heard it . My legs compelled me into your room . I panicked , what was I going to do ? I ran to the phone and called the ambulance . I was instructed to hold you down . Now they say not to do that though but back then things were different . I tried to hold you down the best I could . You were flopping all over the place . The bed shook with fiery . My head pounded . My heart sank . The paramedics came up and took you . I couldn 't breathe . I was really dizzy and flush . They asked if I wanted to ride to the hospital with you but I declined and let Grandma take my place . I paced the empty house thinking about the dinners we had every night , and how every Friday night we played cards , and just how supportive you were with everything I did . But then something inside me boiled up . It was sort of the feeling of guilt . I was guilty of being a burden . I doubted my presence . I froze and went into the bathroom and stared in the mirror for a minute . Then I opened the cabinet , took out a small container of pills , and took a couple of the capsules . They eased my mind . Then I stuffed it in my pocket as Grandma called me down to visit you . I walked through the hall corridors , not only was my reflection pale but so was my vitality of being in this world . I was confused . No , I still am . It has only grown more rapid since I was 16 years old . I looked at you . You were sleeping . Tubes and cords were attached to your body from machines . You kind of looked peaceful for a second . Then your doctor walked in . I left the room . I didn 't know you had epilepsy . It frustrated me not knowing things . You never talked about the bad things . You never talked about problems . At this age , it drove me crazy how I am left out in the dark about everything . I leaned against the wall and stuffed my hands into my pockets . Then I realized I had a bottle of pills into my pocket . I took another few capsules . It eased my mind . Tagsabandon , alcohol , depression , drawing , family , fiction , hopeless , life , mother , relationship , short story , son , thoughts Mirror Chapter 1 . Mirror Chapter 2 . This is Mirror Chapter 3 . Grandma moved in the following school year . She cooked , cleaned , and laughed with us - things Ma never did with us . The only thing Ma did was walk me home from the school the school bus , which Grandma fulfilled after she left . After years went by , I guess I sort of repressed the memory . No matter how hard I tried to recall the reason for my deep sadness , I could not . I would sit down , feel this dark prickling sensation , and almost mechanically filter out every memory I could remember . Out of them all , I could never find that day or - more so - as for the reason this scar being impended in my heart . I vaguely remembered her . I remembered that she would sit in the living room all day and that she had the most beautiful glassy eyes I ever saw . Looking in the mirror and seeing my straight red hair would also remind me that the trait was passed down from Ma . I also didn 't forget about how I used to wobble down a few steps from the second floor and watch you and Ma sit together for awhile . Every day , you acted as if nothing was wrong . You smiled every day . When I was sad , you made me laugh . Sometimes I would do something stupid and get hurt and you would patch me up and laugh at me . Years passed by . Grandma every two years would get sillier and sillier glasses . You grew many beards and shaved many beards . Going from one grade to another , my teachers increased my homework . Tagsabandon , alcohol , depression , drawing , family , fiction , hopeless , life , mother , relationship , short story , son , thoughts At the time I did not know anything . I remember always peering into the living room as a kid ; Ma always curled up on the couch with a bottle beside her and a blanket covering her lap no matter the season . In my memory , she was always there looking up at the ceiling . Sometimes I would see her taking sips from the bottle . I cannot remember a time where a bottle was not beside her . I watched you , Dad . A few minutes after you tucked me into bed I would sheepishly wobble down a few steps from the 2nd floor . Every night I saw you sit with Ma . Not only were you beside her but your expression would mimic hers . When I started nodding off , you would get up and collect the bottles on the table beside her - as if you knew . That was when I would scramble off back to my bed . The room was mostly empty , especially considering its enormous size . A black couch stood up against the western wall . Two small tables stood on each side of the couch , covering the empty space between the couch 's sides and the walls . A small lamp rested on one of these side tables . A coffee table was centered a foot in front of the couch . A small cabinet rested at the other side of the room , the eastern wall . There was nothing else in the room - no phone , no T . V . , no radio - besides for Ma and her bottles . Notably , there were no windows in the room , depriving the room of light . The atmosphere shivered with an empty feeling . It felt like walking into an abandoned cemetery ; pain of melancholy pinging an eremitic misery up from my feet , ascending through my spinal chord , and stinging my neck . But at that age I only could describe this feeling as a darkness overwhelming me . I did not go into the room very often anyways , but when I did , I only stayed for a few minutes . She would call me in once awhile to grab a bottle from the refrigerator or bring her a snack . She never really looked at me . I couldn 't even remember a time where she hugged me . I guess in a way I was just " there " . At that age , I didn 't really care or really notice . Tagsdefeat , depressed , depression , drowning , hope , inspire , journey , life , sadness , success , suicide Tired . Exhausted . I am sinking ; no , I am being dragged down . Defeat . I am submitting to defeat . I can 't breathe . I try to struggle but I am too weak , too tired , too empty . I can 't escape . The surface disappears . A thin layer of a dull bleak … A baritone roar bellows , ringing in my ears . A different sound , one that is quick and turbulent , races towards me at a frightening speed . I open my eyes , dizzy . Specks of people begin to light up ; Oh , my train is here . It was just a daze . Truthfully , I honestly wish I could say it was just a hallucination . I can barely admit what happened to myself . It was a reality not too long ago . I am on the road to success . I cannot give up . There will not be another attempt of suicide . I am not putting myself through it anymore . I cannot do it . I have to stay focus and keep myself busy . I am going to push through and prove that depression cannot dominate my life . I just have to keep going . I am Tom . I am not Tom - the - Depressed - Guy . or Tom - the - Guy - in - Pain . And by getting on this train I am not Tom - the - Guy - Without - a - Life . I am Tom , just an ordinary guy . Tagsdeath , depression , drowning , fiction , life , lost There is no point living when there is no life to live . I feel like I am drowning but I still got breath . And I am scared as hell . But I still look for you in crowds . If you could see me now would you stand in disgrace or take a bow ? If only I could hear you now . Hear your words , your voice . Would you say " I love you " ? At the place I am at in my life , could you love me for who I am ? I doubt you could recognize me now . But we share the same face in the mirror . It makes me shiver . Time has passed so seemingly fast that I have almost caught up to your age . Your eyes were so calm . Your smile was so genuine . But your look was sort of out desperation . It puzzled me . Desperation for what ? I do not know . It simply did not suit you . But it made me love you all the more . Your hugs were so tight . You put extra food on my plate . You would always give me a cheeky smirk when I looked up at you after falling flat on my face . And then you would proceed by bandaging me up right away . " Never bite more than you can chew " you would always quip . I must be a fool to let my life slip away . Perhaps now it is time to chase you to where you are just to hear you say I am insane . I don 't know . I am in pain and so much so that maybe I am better off this way . It gets harder every day . The more time passes the more I become fragile and cold . It has become quite difficult to wake up and quite impossible to fall asleep . I am scared that I am holding up by a thin , thin thread . I am so sad . I count the days that you have been gone . I know you have been watching me . I know you hear what I say . But you cannot see or hear what 's in me . A lot of things went to hell after you left - as you can probably tell . I know I should have tried a little harder . But my mind became a storm . It blew my life off course . The rain does not stop . The lightning is so loud and bright . The clouds are so vast and enormous . The flooding has drowned out any rationality that I might have had . My life is underneath this storm . I am drowning … Apart of me knows all my sins are wrong . I know I am not that innocent child you once knew . But does anyone ever stay innocent ? Look at me . I am not that successful person you wanted me to be . I am far from it but look at my life after you left . Where could I have turned ? I became corrupt and evil and full of melancholy . But I still hope I could be like you . I am a loser at this game unlike you . I need to share my view before I … drown . Give me a sign , speak to me in some way . Hear me out and tell me are you sad for what I have become ? There will be more chapters . I figure perhaps less than 10 chapters of this size . I also figure I will release a chapter a week . Follow Jenkins Writings on WordPress . com
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After the microscopic and by definition invisible lottery comes the second lottery of the macroscopic chances : where I was born , who were my parents , who were the neighbours , etc . And like most children , I was absolutely awesome , just like your children , like you when you were a child and like my parents when they were children . I played comedies , I presented the weather forecast , I organized magic tricks , and you know everything a child is able to do … Like the vast majority of children , I was also very curious and wanted to know almost everything . And like almost every child I was incredibly naive and I believed everything adults could tell me . One day the balcony door was closed suddenly by the wind and I asked my father how that happens . He then explained to me that it was someone called Ali Erriahi ( the Windy Ali , if we try to translate into English ) who used to come secretly at night to close the door . Since he told me that , every time the door slammed , I jumped up off my chair , I ran to the balcony to try to catch Ali Erriahi or at least to see him . Without success ! Like all children , I always asked the most important questions , the most difficult , the deepest and the most brilliant ones . One day , after observing my father watching different television programs and seeming to give them different degrees of importance , I thought about this issue and I asked him : " how do you know if what happens in TV is true or not ? " . My father replied : " the program at 8h PM , the news , is about true things , everything else is often not true . " I continued to observe things and I realized that the more I thought I understand something , the more I became confused , and instead of having fewer questions I had more . Like all children , I was much smarter than adults . One day , I still went to my father and asked him " Is there a single logic or many possible logics ? " . My intellectual level is clearly accelerating at an exponential rate and the things I thought about were more worthy of being asked within the most prestigious philosophy conferences in the world , and not only to a " simple " mother , who was a doctor , and to a " simple " father , who was a statistician . Of course I put " simple " between hyphens . Because they were themselves geniuses . My mother , coming from a rural , conservative and illiterate environment was still doing theatre with her older sister . Yes ! Theatre , without ever having known or seen a theatre before . My father , on the other hand , got out from the primary school building to see parents picking up their children except for his parents of course , because his parents already died . Yet he ended up learning poetry and visiting so many lands ! Everything is possible for a child . Almost everything is possible , until they begin to grow up . Then begins the " you must … " and " you should … " . To my mother who wanted to do theatre , comedy or mathematics , she was told " you have to do that … " . The other who was a genius of football he was told " you have to go to school . " The one who wanted to play guitar was told " you should above all do your homework . " Gradually , all these young people have grown up , most of them just forgot the genius and the dreams of the child , to only hope to have a house , a job , and then also to have children so they can forward to them the best education and the best values , especially trying to accumulate as much money as possible and provide them with the best advices by telling them " you must … " and " you should … " . Until it is their turn to drop their craziest dreams , trying simply to make money and to please their parents . There are obviously exceptions to this general phenomenon . But they are extremely rare ; like a lottery with millions of numbers . There are billions of geniuses thrown into the world and almost all will be reduced to normality by those who love them the most , such as the parents and then by the rest of the family , school , neighbours , society . It is the repetition of cycles : my parents have flattened me , I flatten my children ; of course this is called love and protection . The miracle can appear only by the conjunction of very small chances , an uncommon consciousness and willingness ; the world 's greatest painter born in a lumberjack family will probably not discover himself , and when he begins to discover it , he will quickly be reminded that " he has to cut wood . " The most skilled lumberjack born into a family of musicians will simply become a good citizen , just as we like it . He is like us and he is equal to us . Mozart , born in a place without any music , would not have starved , but would not have become what he could become ; he played a huge lottery and he just won . It is the miracle . One day , having learned French , I noticed that my father often played this game of words in the newspaper : crosswords . I observed a bit how he was doing , and he showed me how he found the words . So I simply left with an old newspaper to my little desk in my room , I closed the door behind me and I began to figure out how to make a game of crosswords for my father . I had to go all the way around . Draw the grid , number it , invent words , ensure that they cross properly , put the black tiles , invent riddles to find the words . Once everything is finished , that is to say , the solution of the crosswords , I had simply to redraw everything on a new sheet leaving the grid empty and only putting the black squares and the horizontal and vertical " riddles " numbered . The pure happiness of a child ! And then I just said to my father : " Here , I made a crosswords puzzle for you . " Impressed , he looks at it and starts to do it in front of me . I think he found it rather easy compared to those of the newspaper . For me , the story was over ; I understood how to do crosswords and I have never found any interest to do it again , and even less to play it . I was like many children much more interested in the depth and the magic side of things rather than in the usual and superficial use adults make of it . My father has continued to do his crosswords and I 've continued to do , one after the other , projects in different fields , sometimes showing them to my parents and then , slowly , in total secrecy inside my laboratory and my virtual world . That 's why I always shut the door of my room behind me , something my mother didn 't like in the beginning ; she often told me , " but leave your door open ! " No ! I did not want to leave my door open and I knew more than anyone in the world why . One day , as I told you that children often ask the deepest questions , I witnessed a conversation between my mother and my oldest cousin of the village . They spoke in particular , like all adults , about work , business , and money . I intervened in the discussion and asked them : " actually , what 's the point in just having a lot of money ? " . Both , watching me from above , half stunned , half ironic , laughed and said : " hahaha , it 's so easy to find what to do with money . " After having my share of teasing , I just left . In my personal lottery , several things could have happened . How many children have been broken by the mockery of others ? How many children have come to believe they are stupid and that the adults knew everything ? In my case , it was exactly the opposite that happened . I have never forgotten the story , like hundreds of others stories , but it never broke me , nor even touched me . I was convinced in my heart that I discovered things that others simply do not see . Those who laughed at me , that is to say the two people among those who love me the most in the world , had no idea that the child who was in front of them would study economics , history of money , philosophy , and do everything he can do to think about those questions and then write books and articles about it . Whereas they still do not know that the question " what 's the point of having a lot of money ? " is one of the most discussed issues by leading economists and philosophers of the contemporary world . When I was a child , and like most children , I was already too far ahead of them . So far ahead that I realized the great danger that those who loved me could actually represent for me . So , quiet early , I started a secret life . I programmed an ancestor of a computer , I wrote mathematical formulas , I was reading the books of psychiatry and psychology that are normally intended for students of medicine at the university and in addition were in English . And on the top of that I found explosive books like for example the Discourse on the Method of Descartes . This is where I started to become aware of being perhaps the winner of a big lottery indeed . What to do ? Me , a child , alone . Outside of my room and the house , there are " you must …”, " you should … " and then all the talks of the family and the people at school . So I very firmly closed the door of my room , in the proper sense at first , and then in the figurative sense . I had to do it for years , decades . The pressure was everywhere . " You have to …”, " why don 't you do it like this … " " Yes , but you know , you will grow up and you will change …”, " you 'll see , with age you will …”, " yeah but you know , you have to think about … " . Inside my room , I started reading everything I found in English on psychology and psychiatry . It was clear to me and evident that either something was seriously wrong in my head , or something was going too well . Then I was reading the books my father bought long time ago , texts of Plato , and then Schopenhauer and Freud … and to seal my fate I went myself to buy books of Nietzsche . Meanwhile , I wrote philosophical texts . The theories sprang into my head here and there . I did not need to make any effort to formalize human behaviour and invent whole theories with fascinating simplicity . I wrote some of them down and I discussed others with friends . And the more I went forward , the more I realized that indeed , there is no doubt , either I 'm completely sick , or I 'm too healthy . I secretly developed a real war machine to face society . Still a child , I was all alone developing defensive and aggressive war strategies to protect myself from everything . All subjects were unpacking and I wrote entire books in total secrecy . And then I developed a psychological interface with which I was going to live outside of my world without that the people notice that I am mentally " disturbed " . I went to school and I forced myself to be always a good - average student . I always passed my exams and I have not repeated any year , just like most students . During history and geography exams I invented ingenious methods to cheat and get the good grades that I wanted . In mathematics and science I gave some private lessons to some of my friends and then helped them the day of the exam so that they can copy from me and get good grades . At that age already , I noticed how the school was breaking all the children that I perceived as being endowed with a very superior intelligence . I know geniuses who studied with me and went after school slowly into drugs , crime or religious dogmatism . On the other side , I always noticed how most of the best of the class seemed to have a boggling lack of intelligence , wit and humour . It disgusted me , but I didn 't say anything . It added for me just one more problem to solve on the very long list of things that I have to think about . Then , like many others , I went to study in Management at the university . In parallel , I turned all the classes we had into other psychological and philosophical theories much more interesting to me than what we were told . And I was also writing a secret book . Obviously , that didn 't really leave me much time to study . I totally didn 't care about it . I had always managed to have good - average scores and to pass . I understood the system of life . I was just pretending to be there and participate . The pressure didn 't stop . On the contrary . " Now , you have to …”, " to succeed in life , you should …,” " look at him , he is better than you …”, " if you want to become that , then you have to …”, " you know , when you 're young you want to transform the world , but when you are old the world transforms you … " . But there was absolutely nothing to do . I had already developed a war machine that was too ahead of the reactions of society . I became a master in the " yes , yes " , " yes , okay , yes , you 're right , " and I also became the master in the psychological destruction of those who stubbornly wanted to block my way , to disturb me , to just distract me from my work and the only work I wanted to do in my life : to learn , think , write , talk , act . " Yes , yes , okay , okay . " Thanks to the love of my mother , her money and the high esteem that my parents held for the education of children , she sent me to study in the MBA of International Management at Laval University in Quebec . Finally , she could be proud of her son if he comes back with a degree , a doctorate or a great career . " Yes of course ! " I was 23 . The machine was already extremely well established . I had absolutely nothing to do with the MBA . I also dressed in a rather scurrilous manner compared to other students . I learned Quebecer accent very quickly . I integrated the society as if I was born there . One of the great professors of the University who wanted to humiliate me in front of dozens of other students because I was badly dressed to make a presentation , invited me later to his office and told me secretly that my presentation was excellent , but most students have not really understood it and that its level was too high . And then such stories came on all the time , throughout my life . I don 't get any particular pleasure from it , for because of this curse I had to live in solitude . I passed all my MBA courses and I wasn 't interested at all to get the degree . Instead of writing my thesis , I began writing a major philosophical treatise , always in secret . Most of my fellow students became leaders in big companies or university professors . From my side , I had to fight with all my strength to not to end up with the car , the tie and the exorbitant salary : it was a nightmare for me . I succeeded for years to work only three hours a day and earn enough to be able to register for real philosophy courses at Laval University and then to travel and learn Spanish . I revealed all the secrets partly here and there , but almost never all of them to one person ; anyways I have never met a person who can understand every aspect of my psychology . Many tried to block my way and said " yes , but …”, " you must …”, " but you have to think about … " Many others , and they will recognize themselves here , haI spent six and a half years without setting foot on Tunisian ground . Meanwhile , I had already several lives , studied philosophies , did businesses , wrote a lot , studied the games of Kasparov to refine my machine . Quebecer society , as Tunisian society and like any other society in the world still obeys to the same rules , " you must …”, " it is necessary that you … " To the despair of my mother who paid for my studies , she realized that instead of becoming a university professor or a high official of the state or a bank , I became nothing … at all ! And the last time I went to Tunisia , there was the same sound of the family and above all the same cousin who laughed at me when I was a child and wanted to know what is it useful for to have lots of money . And then they said : " when will you stabilize yourself ? have a job … “, " but now you really need to … " . Quebec or Tunisia , everywhere , friends , families , almost anywhere in the world : " Yes , but …”, " You have to …”, " and retirement …”, " and insurance … " Obviously everyone just ran into a wall of concrete . They would like it so much that I live the same life as them . They would like it so much that me too I have a job , a house , children , and that it 's my turn to tell them " you have to … " . It disgusted me . It was better to die of cold , thirst , and hunger . The secret allowed me to pretend to live a normal life and to minimize the pressures and adverse comments . This is the defence tactic that every child develops against the aggression from the outside world that wants necessarily to deny his genius and put him back on the line to be like other children . It 's been a while that I 've planned the progressive lifting of this secret , but still , I can 't really live normally in a society where there are only adults when I remained in reality a child . I would have to go to work , have an address , papers , taxes , etc . While from my side , very early , I saw clearly the diseases of human beings , their suffering and I wanted to try to find solutions to that . So I refuse to go and take a totally useless job in my case , because I do not have time for that , and I 'm too busy , and then after 30 years of " you have to … " and " yes but … " , I 'm getting slightly tired . I would like to have a new life . This new life is the one that I 've always lived . It 's just my life . I always had nothing to do but to take care of the problems of the others . People have so many problems that I cannot just ignore them and go become a millionaire in finance . People have problems that I see and that they don 't even see themselves . The world has diseases that I see and about which we don 't even talk . But if all the things I have to say bother the people so much in their habits and tranquility , then what ? Should I talk or should I shut up ? I obviously decided to talk , and I intend to talk at length . That 's my new life . It 's just about developing my oeuvre and give it to those who want to use it . But are we really going to allow me to do so ? I 'm not sure yet and I still take precautions . That 's why I don 't want at all to be in this world as it is and as adults now conceive it . I do not want to have neither money nor a country . I do not want to belong to any particular social group and I do not want to be equated with any culture , any majority . I do not have the ambition to become neither the president of a country nor the president of a club . I just want to be able to live without boundaries , to move about freely and to say and write what I want to say . Almost all my friends and enemies have children now , and it 's to those children that I want to devote the rest of my life . Everything I do and everything I write , it will be for them . For they may have the ability and the intelligence to understand what 's the point of having a lot of money , while the child reaches the summit of his achievement and happiness when he makes crosswords , when he invents stories , and when he asks and thinks the truest and most beautiful questions . For all the adults , I tell you that I love you of course , and even the worst of you , but I 'm sorry , most of what you do and what you say does not really interest me , since a very long time indeed . Apart from some exceptions of course . They are very rare . It 's a lottery .
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I just got a white Blackberry Curve . There , I said it . I had a black one that broke earlier this month and through the insurance I was able to get a new phone of the same model . The only problem is that they did not have any of the black one left , since it was the only color people want . I got to choose between pink and white . Mistakingly I chose white . If I had picked pink I could have blamed the company , traded with Nikki , or just said it was a statement of my confidence as a man . Instead , I have the white phone and suddenly feel obligated to wear white rimmed sunglasses , white belts and skinny jeans . ( If you can picture me in that look I would ask you not to . ) I think the phone has changed me . I used to have no fear in pulling out my phone to check an email , now I 'm nervous . I would talk on the phone in public before , now I sit in the back of my van by the tinted windows . I want a t shirt made that says " I didn 't pick the phone . " Of course , since the phone looks so trendy I would want it in a nice cut and made from recycled cotton . Maybe a t shirt that used to be an old tire that they turned into the most comfortable t shirt ever for only $ 249 . 99 . So next time you see me , ask me to see my phone . When I show you don 't laugh . I 'm pretty fragile and might cry . There is a sale at the mall I have to get to now . Have a good day . Nikki announced today at lunch that her two favorite things are refried beans and to - go cups ( which are big stuff down here . ) These two things are very dangerous if they were combined , but give a good snap shot of my bride . Man , I love her ! ps - I 'll be at a meeting tonight when the favorite things kick in . I just reread C . S . Lewis ' chapter called " On Forgiveness . " He was a beautiful thinker , and somehow in seven pages he again is used to challenge my understanding of being forgiven and forgiving others . I recommend anything by him , but currently I 'm being challenged by The Weight of Glory . Lewis points out how often we want God to accept our excuses instead of truly asking for forgiveness . We would feel more justified if our excuse was enough . Even if we can excuse half of the offense , that leaves the rest needing forgiveness . Here are some of his words . It 's my little brother 's birthday today . I think he turns fifteen today . That 's what it feels like anyways . Somehow I feel like I 'm aging but he 's still the age he was when I went to college , or got married , or starting collecting children like they were Tim Hardaway basketball cards . Anyways , my little brother is a pretty incredible young man . Brian just bought a house recently . I didn 't get to see it over Christmas , but I have heard it 's the cutest house . He has done awesome in his job , surrounded himself with true friends , and cares for his community and the sweet lady living next to him . I have told most of you that he is a great artist . More than that , he truly is a good brother . I 'm lucky to have Brian . I don 't know if you ever read this Brian , but Happy Birthday . I pray this year is filled with lasting joy and peace . If I could , I would buy you a big , shiny jet ! " We always pray for you , that our God may make you worthy of his calling and my fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power . " 2 Thes . 1 . 11 I want you to know that this is my prayer for my friends and family . That we would be made worthy of His calling . For me , I don 't care what it takes to make this true , whether difficult conversations , circumstances , or beautiful moments of peace and joy . As He makes us worthy of his calling , may He also give us strong resolve , a bent towards doing good even in moments of distraction . His grace covers all of this and leads us to Himself . May His glory and power be made known by our lives . Enjoy today friends . I got a chance to speak to a community here in Louisville last weekend . As I prepared , there was one thing that stood out to me . We were talking about reconciliation and I had been praying on this for several weeks . As I walked through the city during that time I heard stories and spent time with people who looked and talked like me . We drink the same coffee at the same shops . We cheer for the same sports and often even dress alike . Truthfully , it is a poor picture of the Kingdom of God . When you go through Scriptures you see God align Himself with the widows , orphans , sojourners , and those who can 't speak for themselves . The church is invited to look like Him , yet these people are rarely within the doors . It isn 't that anyone is being outright cruel . It is a case of looking away . The church has a serious problem with neglect . We neglect those who don 't look like us and pretend we don 't know any better . You can see it nearly any Sunday morning . I dream of being in a church or church movement that intentionally went against this . I 've seen glimpses , the beginnings of this great shade tree growing , but I cannot wait until the church reflecting the King is seen by all the world . At that point all will be gathered and the words of Colossians 3 : 11 will be known in practice instead of just theory . Best I can tell , the Kingdom doesn 't require others to resemble us before they walk in the doors to the church . The Kingdom requires us to go out the doors and see how others resemble our Father . As this happens the world will see and know that God is good . Let this begin in me . I know some of you like the Oregon Ducks . All of you still have 4 " black and white tvs . Their college athletic uniforms look like my kids all got to eat sixteen pixie sticks and then went nuts with every shade of yellow , green , gray and silver paint on a set of uniforms . http : / / uvtblog . com / 2008 / 11 / oregon - ducks - football - uniforms - have - officially - gone - too - far / Now I saw the new basketball court . I 'm glad I went to a university with a Blugold as a mascot . I 'm sure it could beat up a Duck ! I am always very challenged by CS Lewis . He was a phenomenal writer and I find myself coming back to his books over and over again . I have been thinking a lot about how we are new and how we are to look like our Creator . The implications of this go into every area of our lives . This morning I was reading " The Weight of Glory " and read these words from CS Lewis about how we relate to one another . " You have never talked to a mere mortal . Nations , cultures , arts , civilisations - these are mortal , and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat . But it is immortals whom we joke with , work with , marry , snub , and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendours . " There is something special about new clothes . I think my daughter Ana finds more pure joy in new clothing than anyone I know . She will walk in her room and light up if there is a shirt she hasn 't worn . She will tear her old one off and put the new one on in a heart beat . She loves changing shoes , boots , socks , tights or whatever should be covering her toes . She loves putting on a hat , laughing , and then putting on another . Her school calls her Punky Brewster because she comes in such bright , new colors seemingly every day . One of the funniest things about kids is having to continually teach them what clothes to put on . You would think after years of living they would know to put pajamas on at bed time , but every night is eight reminders for our five kids . Today I almost laughed when I heard Nikki say about six times that the kids needed hats and gloves . ( It is freezing here right now ! ) Durant looked at her like she was speaking Spanish and nearly forgot how to put them on . We are working on tying shoes with him too , which is a brand new lesson in getting yourself ready for what the day holds . I have been reading Colossians a lot lately . In chapter 3 Paul writes about us being new again , and this time he writes about us needing to " put on the new self . " He writes that this self is being renewed as we grow " in knowledge after the image of its ( the new self 's ) creator . " Then he goes on and writes how it is that we are to put it on . We are to put on kindness , humility , meekness and patience . He even goes all parental on us . Like when we instruct our kids to dress for winter , Paul shows us what to put on when someone has a complaint against another . He shows us what to put on in community . He shows us that we are to bind it all up with love , like a giant zipper that holds it all in . I want to have joy as I continue to learn how to " put on the new self . " I want to be like Ana , so quick to tear off the old self and excited to show off the new . Not that I have anything to boast of on my own , but my God is good and I can Posted by I am a spoiled little boy . For Christmas Nikki bought me a Kindle . For the past few months I have realized that some day I would want one of these guys for several reasons : 1 . When we moved my books weighed what would be equivalent to an elephant . ( I don 't even mean the hairy , small Asian elephants . I 'm talking about the big mama African elephants ! ) Even with this awesome reasoning , I thought it wouldn 't make sense to spend money for the right to buy books . It all seemed a little backwards , but I still wanted to have one of those buggers . On Christmas at the Ness house ( which was December 18th ) I got to open up the Kindle and if I was sitting on a chair I would have fallen out of it . Then , my mom gave me a gift card for Amazon where you can buy millions of ebooks for super cheap . It is an awesome little toy . I don 't need it , but I have to admit that I absolutely love it . Now , I have heard a few complaints about the idea of a Kindle instead of a book . They have this special section on it where they test experimental programs . I recommend that Amazon experiment with these ideas to take away the complaints . - You are not actually holding a book . Well , they should make a case that feels like a book . That way anyone who looks will see you are reading a book , you get to feel like it , and yet you still have an entire library at your fingertips . They should make the book something impressive , like " The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire " or " East of Eden . " That way no one will know that you are actually just checking blogs on your magic piece of paper . - It doesn 't smell like a book . This is disturbing to me , but both my wife and closest friend like to sniff the pages of a book . I don 't like reminding them that they sometimes go to Half Priced Books and you don 't know where the book has been . Still , Amazon could put a little stink on the Kindle . Maybe one of those little Glade smell release machines that shoot out the book smell every few minutes . If that doesn 't work they could always have a scratch and sniff screen protector . I 'm okay with the neutral smelling electronics , but for those book sniffers it may help them out a little . All of this is to say that I like books , and my new toy . I 'm just one guy who definitely has a preference in the style of books that I read . With that said , I just finished my notebook where I took notes on all the books I read this last year . There were a lot of different books , but here are the few that were most helpful to me . " Walking with the Poor " by Bryant Myers . The cover is horrible . The book is old . The truths and experience in it are worth fifty times what you pay for the book " Linchpin " by Seth Godin . It 's hard to describe this book , but I would say in a way that it is courage on a page . I don 't agree with everything , but the idea is whatever is in front of you , go do it and be irreplaceable . It helped me to think of what I am called to and what I am not and finally be okay with that . I have heard many sentences begin with those words in my life . I heard it from friends when Nikki and I got married at 20 . I heard it when I became a pastor , continued being a pastor beyond the certain amount of time that would make it a phase , and now that we started Eyes That See . The words are always meant as some odd sort of comfort , but they seem to be dooming the hearer to failure . They seem to say that at least you have something to fall back on . They affirm that you haven 't put everything into one basket , but instead you have wisely diversified your life enough to not be ruined if this one this doesn 't work out . I remember one time in particular where the phrase caught me so off guard that I couldn 't even respond . I didn 't know that " it " not working out was an option . I intend to live completely by faith . I want to be wise in my decisions , yet dependent in everything . I want to know that God 's word is true when it says that you can " Taste and see that God is good . " I want to live by faith , not in theory , but in practice . I want to " Seek first the Kingdom " and continue to know the joy of having everything else added to our lives . If this living by faith thing doesn 't work out , I want to have nothing to fall back on . I intend to be completely ruined if God is not God . I don 't want a back up plan . I don 't want to be diversified . I know there are plenty of people who will think that it is foolish to say these things , but I 'm not supposed to match plenty of people . I intend to match my Father . All I have is invested in that . If it doesn 't work out . . . I will have nothing . Technically it happened in December , but the truth is it still happened . Not surprisingly it came out of the mouth of one of my children . This leads me to a side note : Did God create children to humble parents ? I 'm starting to believe this is true . No one has led me to realize my dependence on God more than my five crew members . I feel it more everyday . Back to the " I 'm not so cool " moment . My family was staying at my mom 's house over Christmas and my brother was there too . He spent the night on one couch and Carter was on the other . When my crew started waking Brian used his full intelligence and turned away from the living room . With his back facing out , little Ana went towards him thinking that he was me . This is an easy mistake because we are both amazingly good looking . Just ask us . When she got near she saw it was him and was a little confused . Next came Jackson . He woke Brian and saw his awesome morning hair . For those of you who don 't know the way that Ness hair works you need to know that during the night our hair throws dance parties and when we wake it looks like someone took a power mixer to our scalp . When Jackson saw Brian he said that his morning hair looked like my hair when it is fixed . I know that I don 't have good hair , but what options do I have ? Grass seed companies want to study my scalp to see how my hair can grow so thick and quickly . What else can I do but stick it up everywhere ? I thought I was being a " cool dad " for Jackson . I guess I just look like a blender head . This morning is a good week and a half since Jackson 's subtle punch to my stomach . I remembered his words this morning , but I stuck my hair up a good foot and a half just because I can . I may not be cool , but with my hair making me seven feet tall I am at my ideal weight ! I just found on the blog where you can see where your " followers " are living . I want you to know the country that is beginning to follow me is Russia . There must be a pocket of people who love me up there because they are clicking on this blog like I 'm giving away free computers ( which I am not . ) I 'm thinking about planning a tour of Russia for all of my readers up there , but it could easily be just one person who thinks my last name is a suffix . More on this later . In the mean time , Russia loves me ! I know . . . I know . . . both of you didn 't know what to do without my thoughts . Well , after being in Eau Claire and Minneapolis for a week , coming back to kids who acted like they were stuck in a car for 14 hours , having almost three weeks off of school , having both Nikki 's and my laptops break , and a middle finger that swelled to the size of a big toe I am back . I bet you missed me too ! Here are my blogging New Year 's resolutions . 1 . To actually post things .
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Hey all , just a quick note to wish all of you a Merry Christmas . I realize it was 2 days ago , but really the Christmas season lasts until Epiphany ( Jan . 6 or is the the 4th - - maybe I should actually check things out before I write them ) anyway ( and doesn 't start in mid - Nov or earlier as Walmart would lead us all to believe ) . I received a few wonderful things from some very wonderful family members who know me so very well . My brother and sister - in - law ( well maybe just my sister - in - law ) gave me a giant bag of beautiful wool yarns . My sil used to go to the Yarn Cafe every week for their knit night , so when they went out of business this fall ( sadly ) she was at least able to help them out by picking up large quantities of yarn ( for me of all people - - how did she know ? ) . The other gift that brought tears to my eyes was the item I have stolen so often in the past few years from my dad . He gave me his Canon . I was in shock . ( and am hoping that he has plans to replace it with a brand spanking new one very soon ) Now , I won 't feel guilty grabbing it and taking lots more pictures . I feel like Fezzik from The Princess Bride sometimes when I write titles for my posts . Pretty soon someone is going to say something like , " Stop it , not , I mean it . " and I 'll shoot back , " Anybody want a peanut ? " Last week I was thinking about the Tie One On Day and thought , " Hmmm what should I do about it all . " I ended up making a bunch of whole wheat dinner rolls on Sunday afternoon ( 23rd ) and was thinking about how I might be able to get some kind of apron . Now , I currently have three aprons and I am very attached to each one of them , so I was thinking I would go out and buy one . Then thought , " Hmmm , there is no money in my checking account right now and I don 't think Dan will consider me getting an apron that essential of a thing to do , so I guess I will have to make one . " Then I remembered all of my mom 's old sewing patterns are still at my house ( they 've never left actually ) . And I found her old apron pattern ! With that I looked through my stash of fabric ( Tuesday morning - - I am a procrastinator after all ) . And started to work . I was up all night ( because other things had to get done that day too ) and I was able to finish it off in time to bring it over to a woman I know who was in need of some encouragement . I turned out sooooo pretty that I had to take a couple pictures of it ! And now , I have to make one for my mom . ( She saw it and now needs one , too ) . I am so excited that I was actually able to make something so pretty and this woman I brought it to just loved it ( and the bread ) so much . She told me that she has really been wanting an apron and doesn 't have one ! So that was that and then . . . Dan and I had a good Thanksgiving weekend . On Thursday we went to his aunt 's house for the big Thanksgiving . I would say there were at least 40 people there . ( And that wasn 't even the whole family ) . Friday was pretty much a day of resting ( I came into work for a couple of hours , though ) or rather getting the house ready for my brother 's family to stay the night on Saturday . Then Saturday we had my family 's Thanksgiving dinner herPosted by Back when I used to work at the school for boys who had gotten into trouble , they used to have to move woodpiles back and forth as a punishment for doing not so nice things . Well , at our house , it isn 't technically a punishment because , ummm , even if it isn 't much fun we still have to do it , so the house can be warm . Dan wanted me to take a picture of him and all that he ( his brother helped a bit ) has accomplished in the past year in regards to woodpiles ( this doesn 't include what is already in the basement ) . Now , take special notice in this close - up of the dangerous hazards that can befall you while working in the out - of - doors around our place . Dan might be wearing a warm fur cap ( it was really windy that day ) , but I don 't think it was supposed to come with a Siamese Cat attachment . I promise to help Dan move these woodpiles into the house slowly , but surely as Winter progresses . . . no more snow since the bit that had fallen earlier in the month , but it has been chilly , chilly lately . Ice is now covering the lake just down the road from us . Dan is hoping that it will continue to freeze well , so that he might be able to go ice - skating the day after Thanksgiving . Ohh , one more picture . This is from Thanksgiving Day 6 years ago ( Dan and I were just married ) . We went ice skating on this little lake not too far from his parents ' place with his old dog , Ginger . We had so much fun ! She loved ice skating and would even pull you around out on the ice ! ( Here is a random picture I took of Dan 's aunt and uncle 's shed just to distract you from the fact that I am a rambling person lately ) So anyway , kindness . . . I don 't know how many of you have come to my blog lately and seen on the sidebar that I have a link to National Tie One On Day ( the day before Thanksgiving ) . By participating in this day you would make ( or goodness , even go out and buy ) a loaf of bread , write a little note of encouragement of some kind , wrap it up in an apron , and deliver it to someone in need of sustenance or encouragement . ( If you have the means , go ahead and give more than a loaf of bread , I say , especially if you know a family is in need of sustenance ) . This day perfectly wraps up what we should be doing for eachother every day . In some small way or in large ways let us all think of something we can do to encourage our neighbors whether near or far . I know I need it often enough and I know that you all need it , too . Other organizations that do similar things to this are Operation Christmas Child , Heifer , your local food shelf , your local church , Feed the Children - - the list goes on and on . Just last night on the news , I heard of a woman just North of where I live that put an ad on Craig 's List to give one family a Thanksgiving dinner with all the fixings . Now , there is a woman that we can all aspire to be . Let us do likewise , and not just at Thanksgiving and Christmas , but in January and May and August . I am not perfect in providing care and encouragement to others and I certainly need to work harder at it and not get frustrated when there are those who will take advantage of other people 's kindnesses . Let us love one another . . . It snowed this past week . At the moment it has all melted and gone , but it will soon be back . This week has been a rush of so many things - dance classes ( being taught by me because the instructor was sick - - aack ! - - and the recital is only a few weeks away - - double aack ! ) , driving to the cities , going down to Iowa last weekend to see my brother in a beautiful 0pera , The Sparks Fly Upward , ( I knew he had a part , but goodness , I mean this was a PART - - it was the premier of an opera about the holocaust in which there are three main families - two Jewish and one Christian - all friends . My brother played the part of the husband in the Christian family that helped to hide and protect the other families - - - - it was a wonderful and moving opera . The composer has been working on it for 15 years and is hoping that it will get picked up by a producer or go on tour or who knows . ) , getting ready for an open house at the gallery , and more and more . . . Let 's look at a picture or two instead of having me write , huh ? All Better ! Hey , all - - - I don 't know if you are a person like me ( probably not , I suppose ) , but I have mixed feelings about events this week . Don 't get me wrong , I do think that Barack Obama and Joe Biden will do a decent job being in office . I really do think that somehow , some way people will be able to work together on things again and I am hopeful for our future . I am a person that gets sad when people are rude to one another and who likes to see people being kind to one another . I guess I say this as an Evangelical Christian person who feels hurt by how Evangelical Christian people are shown as being ignorant of the world and extremely unkind to others who hold different beliefs from them . For me , being a Christian means that I should love others around me , including the people that are mean to me and who I disagree with , and that I should constantly strive to all around me with the same kindness Christ showed to those around Him . Maybe I am thought of as silly and naive , but I would rather look dumb , I guess , than to be someone else that I am not . I may not be making a whole lot of sense to anyone , I am just writing out some thoughts I have had in the past few days . I was reminded recently of one of the administrators that used to speak once a week at chapel during college . He was doing a series from the Sermon on the Mount and would often tell us college students who worried about what we should be doing with our lives and what kind of jobs we would have later on and who we should be dating and all of that , " I don 't know what major you should have or the person you should marry , but I do know that God 's will for your life is to . . . ( love one another , look at your own faults before you look at the faults of others , or care for those in need depending on the section from the Sermon on the Mount he had been preaching from that day ) . I guess I think back on those days a lot when I see some controversial subject being talked about and I think , " Hmmm , God wants me to love my neighbor and my neighbor is everyone , right ? I guessPosted by Well , Dan and I had a wonderful weekend , for the most part . Fun times on Halloween with a bonfire , hayride , and friends over on Friday night . Saturday was a beautiful day as well . We went out into the pasture and had a little campfire out by this little cabin my brother built many years ago all by ourselves ( well , Little Hank and the dogs came out with us and the horses were munching on grass in the background , so we weren 't totally " by ourselves " I guess ) If you look straight above the round bale a little ways , you will see a little whitish thing on the hill and that is the cabin . My mom took this picture before Dan and I were married ( over six years ago now , but the landscape hasn 't changed all that much except that we make small square bales not round bales ) Sunday we went to church and then ate out at Carlson 's Orchard which is a restaurant and apple orchard open only in the Fall that I worked at for one season ( the year Dan and I were married in fact ) . Mmmm . . . we had tasty fresh foccacia club sandwiches , cider , a little soup , and apple pie ! We came home and Dan decided he would like to try out riding Beauty . ( My horse that I have not yet ridden , but she has been ridden about three times and worked with some and all that , ummm , but she is still stubborn about stuff ( hmmm , much like me ) ) . She behaved really quite well as Dan was putting the saddle on and adjusting and tightening things . I mean not perfect or anything , but she wasn 't mad at all . Then Dan got on her and she was just like a bucking bronco . ( and I was standing right next to them - - eeeeks ) Well , I ran away , Dan flew off her , and then she came running back for me . Then I had to run again . Dan said she looked like she was about to pounce on me and I thought it seemed like she was trying to slow herself down not to hit me , but there are now huge skid marks at the spot I had been standing . Poor Dan got the brunt of it all though . It has been a while since he was thrown off a horse ( In fact , I believe he has been thrown off of all of our horses now . Old RPosted by Your result for What Your Taste in Art Says About You Test . . . Non - conformist , Visionary , and Independent4 Abstract , - 6 Islamic , - 6 Ukiyo - e , - 1 Cubist , - 4 Impressionist and - 14 Renaissance ! Abstract art uses a visual language of form , color and line to create a composition which exists independently of what may appear to others as visual realities . Western had been underpinned by the logic of perspective and an attempt to reproduce an illusion of visible reality . It allowed the progressive thinking artists to show a different side to the world around them . By the end of the 19th century many artists felt a need to create a ' new kind of art ' which would encompass the fundamental changes taking place in technology , science and philosophy . Abstract artists created art that was diverse and reflected the social and intellectual turmoil in all areas of Western culture . People that chose abstract art as their preferred artform tend to be visionaries . They see things in the world around them and in people that others may miss because they look beyond what is visual only with the eye . They rely on their inner thoughts and feelings in dealing with the world around them instead of on what they are told they should think and feel . They feel freed from the tendency to be bound by traditional thought and experiences . They look more toward their own ideas and experiences than what they are told by their religious upbringing or from scientific evidence . They tend to like to prove theories themselves instead of relying on the insight or ideas of others . They are not bound by common and mundane , but like to travel and have new experiences . They value intelligence , but they also enjoy a challenge . They can be rather argumentative when they are being forced or feel as if they are being forced to conform . Take What Your Taste in Art Says About You Test at HelloQuizzy Well , guess how I spent most of my afternoon . . . Dealing with an alarm system and trying to get ahold of people who can fix it . Thankfully , all is well now and has been fixed , but golly - gee these systems are a little screwy sometimes . Anyway , now tonight I get to go to a play with friends ( wooo , its a double date - how exciting ) . We are going to see a community theater production of Arsenic and Old Lace starring the director of our old high school one act plays plus a couple of other productions I have been in . It should be fun . I am cold today - - been chilled all day ever since I got out from underneath my warm , cozy covers this morning . ( I didn 't want to leave them , but I had to go and do things that just aren 't getting done all that well today because I never really wanted to leave my warm , cozy bed ) . We have 3 quilts and one of those warm fuzzy blankets on our bed right now and that sound so nice . . . I am currently wearing these cozy leg warmers - in fact I did last night , too along with socks and a pair of fuzzy slippers with a blanket wrapper around me as I knit and watched TVIt was 52 in our house this morning when I woke up - - I don 't know what it was when Dan left for work this morning at 6 , but he was cold , too . He even said so and his poor hands and nose were cold , too . I know this would be a fairly easy thing to fix . We could plug in our electric baseboard heaters , but I hate to have to pay for too much electricity as it is only October and we have a whole winter ahead of us . Soon you will begin to warm our home , won 't you ? We were going to bring wood into the basement this week ( and still will ) , but it will take a bit of situating as things with the well and other stuff happened in the basement this summer and the spot where we haul the wood into has some shelves in it at the moment and so an old fruit cellar has to have scary spider webs and nasty things taken out of it to put the shelves into it , blah , blah , blah . . . all fine and good and we even could have brought in a little bit of wood just to last us a few days , but then it rained good and plenty on the wood , so I am cold today . . . not the worst thing ever , but I just wanted to whine for a few minutes . Thanks ! I think I will make some nice eggs with ham and toast for supper tonight . That sounds warm delicious . mmmm It has been chilly here lately . Enough so , that we need to start bringing wood in the house to warm up this week . ( Our house has lately been ranging in temperatures between the mid - fifties and mid - sixties ) If we weren 't such cheapskates we would have already had some kind of heat on for the past few weeks . Instead we have big blankets on the couch , nice fuzzy slippers , and plenty of quilts on the bed . ( I think I am going to put the flannel sheets on this week , too ) . With the cool days come beautiful colors and the need to get things out of the garden ! I went out on Saturday and picked the remaining butternut squash and gourds . Everytime I thought I was done picking the gourds , it seemed that I would find another couple hiding out under a leaf or in the carrots ! Even Hank got involved ! I also went for a walk out into the pasture to get some pictures of the fall color before the wind blew all of the leaves off of the trees . We have had some wonderful color around here this fall ! Dan worked up on the roof finishing up a small section of siding . . . you never know , someday the whole house might be sided and looking pretty again . On Saturday I also got a little something in the mail ! It 's my October sock mailing from Sundara Yarn . This picture doesn 't show off the color the best , but it is a beautiful deep purple that has some darker and lighter hues spread throughout . I think these might become some Christmas socks for my mom ! Finally , I have been working on some socks of my own again . I have two skeins of this yarn and I think that these could turn into some nice knee socks . I love having long socks to wear in the winter and fall in our old , drafty house . Well , it has been a while since I have posted ( I am actually at the computer every day , but you know how it goes - - the longer you go between posting , the more stupid and guilty you start to feel about not writing anything and so you don 't write anything and you see how interesting other people are and that really you don 't feel all that interesting and on and on and on ) Today I bit the bullet and finally decided to post . I was sorting through some photos that I have taken and I saw a couple that were noteworthy . First off - - - - - The Barney . Barney is now a full - fledged outdoor cat . He doesn 't want to believe it , but he is . Last winter he decided to start peeing on our bed in the basement and spraying furniture in the house . Yuck . . . he wanted to be in charge and knew he wasn 't , so he started to fight back . I feel bad ( Dan doesn 't ) sometimes when he is meowing outside , but he has plenty in the out of doors to keep him busy and we hug him and cuddle him and feed him his yummy , yummy food . When he isn 't up whining by us at the house he sleeps in the hay in the barn . I love it when he does that and then comes up to us to get petted and picked up . He smells of dry alfalfa . Mmmmm . Now for old tires . . . Remember last Spring when I wrote about going to the scrap metal yard ? Well , we took some of the money we got from the metal and were able to get rid of the many , many old tires we had sitting behind our old shop . ( This picture doesn 't even show all of them ) Soon the old scrap area will be beautiful ( or weed filled , whatever ) and eventually we will be able to reseed out there and have the area between our barn and shop and stuff like that made back into a little barn yard ( maybe even for the dogs to be able to run around in when we are gone for the day ! ) . Alrighty , I have work to get to , so see you all later . Oh , and knitting has been happening , too . I am working on a fine Christmas present ( oh , it is so pretty that I really want to keep it - - - but I won 't - - - if you are reading this Melissa , I won 't tell you what it is , but you probPosted by Please , I don 't often just put random links here or anything , but please go watch this . It is terrible and awful to watch , but please watch it . You might regret it , but hey , you trust me , right ? Can I tell you something ? I am sooooo disappointed . I was going through all of my picture folders and all of our flash disks and I am missing some stunning pictures that I took about a month ago . I recently started sorting all of my pictures into categories and getting things all updated for the last month and all that and a whole disk of pictures is gone . . . GONE ! Never to be seen again . Erased at some moment thinking that they were safely already put onto a computer or a CD or something . I am very sad . The only picture I have from that disk is this oneDo you see the gorgeous light I was working with ? I had pictures of the horses in the tall grass on the back of our property . I had pictures of kittens playing just outside the barn door . I had close ups of these fuzzy thistles with the setting sun warming them and making the beautiful . Those pictures made me happy that we have thistles in our pasture growing out of control in places . It was the only time I was ever happy to see thistles that I can remember . Will I ever come across the same lighting and time of year again . Maybe , you never know , but once , I happened to take this silouette of myself against our house that turned out so nicely and I have tried and tried and tried to recreate that moment on other farm buildings around our place and I never been able to do it . Why , why , why . . . oh , the humanity - - - I took this one picture off of that little disk because I didn 't have time to do more . Can I say it again ? I am soooooooooooooooooo disappointed . I made this little ad for our chamber of commerce back earlier this summer - - whatcha think ? ( The rooster isn 't mine - - it was designed for our city by a guy named Andy Grams and it will be going on the town 's new water tower - - he did a good job , huh ? ) It is Labor Day weekend once again , but around here we know it as Red Rooster Days ( and it is the reason I have been so quiet lately ) . We 've been a - printin ' banners , a - hangin ' art up town in the Ergot Museum , a - updatin ' info . on the local cable channel and city website ( that 's one of my part - time jobs ) , and a - workin ' on puttin ' together all sorts of people 's frames . Oh , and I 've been a - gettin ' ready for comp - ny , too because my brother from ID and his family are coming for a visit this week ! In the meantime , . . . Lil ' Hankers has been growing up . Isn 't he just the sweetest . . . I think he likes me - - okay , I know he likes me and Dan . He braves coming up onto the deck past the big , scary dogs that sometimes like to see if he is a good and tasty morsel just to meow at the door to come inside . Speaking of big , scary dogs . . .. . . they can be so vicious sometimes . See how they have crowded up around this guy ? I bet they won 't let him go until he gives them a belly rub . Hey , I am back from my trip and have yet to scan in any photos of our trip ( my dad seemed to want his digital camera on his camping trip rather than sending it along on mine - - crazy , huh ? ) Anyway , this is just a quick post to show a logo I did in photoshop and a brief description of how I did it . ( maybe of no interest to anyone , but you never know ) . © 2008 elisabeth schmieg and the midwest garden companyI made this logo by combining a couple of photographs . ( The cabin in one and trees in another - erasing stuff and layers and all that ) If I remember right after I had done all that : 1 . I then went in and upped the contrast2 . Went into the unsharp mask ( under filter and then sharpening ) and way over did it until it looked neat to me3 . Then did the poster edge filter ( under artistic ) moving the sliders around until it looked interesting . 4 . Lastly , I did the palette knife filter ( also under artistic ) moving stuff around until I liked it . I 've done a bunch of fun things with these filters layered upon filters actually - I thought this looked cool , but half the time I don 't recall what exactly I did to stuff - - I suppose I should write down what my favorite things are to do , but golly I have a bunch of knitting , drawing , musical stuff to do ( plus the garden and my 3 part - time jobs - - - and the dishes ( I think I 'll do them last - - do they make paper pots and pans that I can just through away once i am done cooking ? ) ) , so I probably won 't get around to it . Well , tomorrow morning Dan and I are going to be headed out on a nice little vacation . ( Well , not overly little - - 10 days ! ! ! ! ! ! ) Sometime mid - morning - ish ( because when it comes to a vacation who really wants to be up at 4 am and on the road by 5 ? maybe you do , but not me ! ) we will drive away into the wild blue yonder . I know , I know gas prices are terrible , but if we want to go out to Glacier National Park and then on to my brother 's place in Idaho it is still cheaper to drive than to take the airplane or the train . ( crazy , I know it ) Anyway , before I go I thought I would post a couple of pictures of a couple fun items . First and foremost , I have made and finished my socks from the Lorna 's Laces Grumperina colorway that I won this past Spring ! I put a nice little picot edge on the top because I thought it would be pretty . Here they are in all their glory ! ! ! ! Next , I have now gotten the yarn to make a nice Clapotis . It is Malabrigo in the Loro Barranquero colorway ( purchased from the Yarn Country ) Ain 't it purty . . . and a close - up of the gorgeous yarny goodness ! I will be working on this shawl on my trip ( along with a cotton market bag , and a bunch of little Viking Hats for the nieces and nephews ) Last , but not least are some photos I took of the dogs a week or so ago playing in the yard . The battery was dying on the camera , so it wasn 't wanting to auto focus very well and with the speed that these pups were going I couldn 't keep up , but let me tell you even though a couple of these shot are blurry , they are well worth it for the sheer enjoyment that these pups show when they get to wrestle around ! Here they are being pretty sedate . . . then . . . they 're off ! I think this might be some fancy wresting move that they use on the WWE ( is that what it is called ? It used to be the WWF back when I was little and I don 't keep track of such things ) Now this last one is quite fuzzy , but it is quite a fun one anyway . Look at the wild looks on those faces . I think that not long after this dogs went to their separate corners - - Dakota goes unPosted by I work as a librarian in our local library system specializing in coming up with crafty activities and singing fun songs . My husband and I bought the small farm I grew up on and have a dog , several cats , two horses , and a few longhorns . I also continue to work as an artist drawing pictures and photographing the world I live in .
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Draven Winthrop is whispered about , avoided , and feared . Yet Isabella is drawn to Draven 's dark good looks , his strength , the charm he can turn on as easily as she can blink . The impoverished daughter of an Egyptologist , she knows there are rumors about her , too , and the amulet she wears . Nothing more than superstitious babble … But when Isabella returns to Draven 's remote coastal manor , she senses there is something more at work in the grim gardens of Thorncliff Towers than superstition . Draven is passionate and seductive , but he has a brutal , uncontrolled side too , and a history of secrets . To live in peace she must discover the reasons behind a gypsy curse and a mother 's scorn . Especially when she learns Draven believes his sweet young bride is doomed to a fate even darker than his own … My Review When I went on Netgalley to get this copy , I was really excited , because the synopsis sounds way good , and I had heard good things about it . This is the first book by this author , that I know of , and oh boy I was IMPRESSED ! ! ! She has been bumped up my list of favorite authors , I just wished that she had more books out , because I just thought the Beauty and the wolf was a astounding read with a intense plot and enriching characters that lifted my spirits , and made me feel alive . So its coming out this week , so when it does . . . . you HAVE to read this . . . its a MUST ! ! ! You won 't regret it . Draven and Isabella have courted and married . Isabella didn 't have much choice , with being a governess she had little option but to marry a man that is rumored to be mad . Draven had spent many years in the asylum , having thought that he was really cursed . Draven many years ago made a mistake that cost him his life and happiness . He knows that he is cursed , to spend every month under the moon , to turn into something wild and bloodthirsty . When he marries Isabella , he ends up feeling himself turn on their wedding night , and scaring her into leaving . Now two years later Isabella wants children , and with little money , goes back to her husband , so she can have security for herself and her father , and children . Only she has one problem - - - seduce a man that keeps resisting even though she knows he wants her . Even though Isabella knows that there is something scary and fierce about Draven , she senses something good and pure in him . There is also a part of him that terrifies her , and she doesn 't know what he really is . Even though she finds herself falling in love with him , she feels that he is keeping a huge secret from her that could change their relationship . Draven is terrified into what this curse is turning him into . He feels the curse changing who he is , and now that he has found Isabella again , she represents everything good in the world , and he wants her more than air . But he wonders if this curse could destroy them both . Draven is one of my favorite heroes , the emotional tortured kind . I really liked his strength of character , and even though there is a wild nature to him , he also has a good heart that is very evident . I enjoyed seeing how tender and feeling he is toward Isabella . He isn 't too bitter with her , more with himself . He is a bit brooding , and stubborn but I enjoyed how rich his character was , and very intense at times . Isabella isn 't exactly the most trusting , but I understood her side of things . I admire her strength especially when it seemed that Draven could be pretty scary . She tended to deal with it pretty well . A very well written retelling of the fairy tale Beauty and the Beast . I found this one to be well done and in some ways very similar to the actual tale , but there were certain differences that added a certain flair of originality . One other aspect that I loved was that it was set in a historical setting - - which isn 't very common . I found it to be a fun setting for the plot . It does have a bit more of a Gothic edge to it , but I thought that was one of the positive elements to the story . Intensely packed filled romance with adventure , mystery , curses , dark paranormal elements and a exciting edge that will have you from beginning to end . Very Impressed ! ! ! I can hardly wait for the second one to come out later this year ! ! If , when lost on the moors , you encounter Tarquin Compton , the leader of London society who ruined your marriage prospects , deny any previous acquaintance . Lesson Three : If presented with an opportunity to get back at Mr . Compton , the bigger the lie , the better . A faux engagement should do nicely . Lesson Four : Not all knowledge is found between the covers of a book . But an improper book may further your education in ways you never guessed . And while an erotic novel may be entertaining , the real thing is even better . I acquired this book , the third installment , from the library . Now I was a bit apprehensive about reading this since the past two books were enjoyable but didn 't exactly have me hooked , in the way I like to be into a story . But I had heard great fabulous reviews about this story , so I was looking forward to it . I am delighted to say that I LOVED it ! It was the type of story that completely pulls you in from the first few pages . Of late I never know if I will be into a story or not , so I was glad that this one proved to be my favorite of the series and the author so far . It begins with Miss Celia Seaton being kidnapped and robbed by a stranger , who takes everything except for a rattle ( that is her most precious possession ) and her shift , no clothes , or shoes . She finds herself stranded in the country and comes along another man who has been robbed himself , but who is suffering from a case of amnesia and is the one man she despises , for he ruined her in front of society , and because of him she is destitute . So she comes up with a quick plan , to tell him that they are engaged to be married , because she believes he deserves a bit of justice . So she decides to create a new " fishy " name for him , and as they endeavor to stay one step ahead of a man who is chasing them , a desire develops and they are both caught up in the heat of the moment . When Celia starts to soften toward Tarquin , he then regains his memory , and he is more than furious . They then head to his estate , where his aunt finds them in a compromising position and he claims that they will be married . So now Celia is engaged for " Real " and she doesn 't know her true feelings about her future . At first she doesn 't see a need for them to be married , but she realizes that she wants to share a life with Tarquin with whom she has started to love , despite fighting her feelings for him , she can 't resist him . Celia I found to be a very amusing heroine , I was laughing so much . I loved how audacious she was , especially when dealing with Tarquin . Celia is very willful and independent , but loves to tease and play jokes , especially on a man who ruined her . I liked how she doesn 't let anything discourage her , and she ends up being a very endearing character . I enjoyed seeing how she dealt with each new scenario . Tarquin is very education and intellectual , and a bit of a " fop " , but despite his obsession with clothing , I grew to like him more and more , with each different circumstance when dealing with Celia . I enjoyed seeing how they connected , and even when he learns the truth and regains his memory , he doesn 't fully take it out on Celia . I admired him more for that . I loved the intimacy that slowly develops and it is more gradual , but it was fun seeing these two interact and get over their misconceptions about each other . Overall I found the third installment to be a sensational read that takes you on a variety of adventure and sensuality that is bound to tie you in knots . I enjoy the different aspects that develop for the story , and its much more than a amnesia / revenge type story - - that is only the beginning . It starts out that way of course , but turns into a quite suspenseful plot and ends up forcing the reader to be on edge at times . There was also just a smooth flow to the story , that made it easy to read and keep enjoying all the way through . The intimacy that develops between the characters are fun and sexy and I found this story to be a ball of fun and adventure ! ! ! You definitely want to put this on your watch out for list ! WELL DONE ! ! She looked up and her gray eyes seemed huge and bright . " I wanted you to kiss me , " She said . An invitation he ought to resist . Just one kiss , he reasoned . To refuse would be to insult a lady . ferals , from male Shifters looking for mates . He likes Maria 's resilience and fire , but she 's been broken , and Ellison wants more than anything to heal her . When a new danger threatens Shiftertown 's cubs , Maria partners with Ellison to stop a cold - blooded criminal . My Review I have such a love for this author and especially her newest series - - Shifters Unbound . From the first book I fell in love . I think this series is one of my top paranormal favorites . There is such a magical way that Ashley displays in her writing that captivates the reader , and every time I pick a book up I know I will have a good time . Lone Wolf is Ellison 's story , which I have been waiting on for quite some time . Total bad ass cowboy , that is not afraid of anything or anyone . It was great seeing a more intimate side of him , and get a look into what makes him ' tick ' . He has a certain attraction to Maria , who has recently arrived , after being rescued from feral shifters . Her past is murky , and her emotions unstable and lives in constant fear , but we see as their relationship becomes more solid that she starts to become more independent , and is working her way to living her life instead of just existing . I enjoyed seeing the way this couple falls in love , and there was quite a bit of conflict that added a sense of excitement and a unique flair of romance that completely makes you fall in love instantly with Ellison and Maria . Even though its a novella , it was very well done , and it didn 't feel too rushed or short in any way , I felt it was perfectly balanced of sensuality , adventure , suspense , and a sweet love story that will bring a tear to your eye . A WINNER OF A READ ! Her mom 's psychic , her dad 's mom is a snob , her mom 's parental units are ' too down to earth ' and her best friends are newlyweds . Okay , so her best friends being newlyweds isn 't really abnormal , but living with them in a cramped two - bedroom apartment definitely is . Sex , sex , sex , is totally on their brains . Actually , it 's not only on their brains , but it 's on the kitchen table , couch , on top of the washer … well , you get the picture . Being a celibate ( not by choice , mind you ) full - time college student , and working as an almost full - time barista , Pandora can 't afford to lose anymore sleep . So , she decides to seek out a new place to lay her head . Enter three ' drool worthy ' guy models that are looking for a fourth roommate , and they want her … and won 't take no for an answer . About The Author Amanda Jason is the pen name for Carol Kunz 's adult romance novels . She is the C part of the mother and son author duo , C . A . Kunz . The name Amanda Jason actually has a special meaning to Carol because it is a tribute to the set of twins she lost many years ago . Carol began her dream of writing when her son , Adam , asked her to write a young adult fantasy novel back in 2011 . She couldn 't have been happier to embark on this wonderful journey into the literary world with her son because it was # 1 on her bucket list . Carol currently lives in sunny Florida with her hubby and her two four - legged fur babies . She takes comfort in the fact that her amazing daughter and son live close by . When she isn 't writing , you can find her walking her yellow Lab or reading a good book . " Lucky Number Four " is the debut novel of Amanda Jason , and it 's been a long time coming . Author Links Twitter Facebook Goodreads Posted by Forbes had never wed , for none compared to Liam , the love of her childhood . But Rachel was high - born and Liam an orphan , so marriage was impossible . Now grown , a chance meeting unites Rachel with the man of her heart , and it seems their destinies are entwined once more , for Liam is her rescuer and she must keep him by her side if she is to stay alive . Liam is tempted beyond all reason by Rachel . She has the eyes of a saint , the smooth skin of a princess . . . and lips he cannot resist kissing . He knows he has no name or family to offer - - - but given My Review I haven 't read much of this author , but I have read a couple , so I was hoping this would be a fun read , and I found I really liked it for the most part . It took a little while to get into , but once I did , I started to enjoyed the story . I liked the way the author takes the plot with the interesting variety of unique twists to the plot that gave it a certain dramatic flair . There is a bit of a paranormal aspect , that wasn 't overly done , and it felt like it flowed smoothly along with the story line . The characters were lively and fun to see them interact . It takes places back in the early 1500 's , so we see a side of a culture that proved evident that the author did some good research ( which is a vital factor when writing historical 's ) . There was such a witty and sensual side to Greiman 's writing that made the story become alive . I enjoyed seeing the way this story is put together in such a way that it can appeal to any romantic heart . I lively read that can be enjoyed for the summer time . Definitely looking forward to reading more from this author . But just then their fingers inadvertently brushed . The fire just doused was renewed . Liam clenched his jaw , and , seeming unable to help himself , he snatched her hand and moved toward the wagon . She could do nothing but follow him . Wanted to do nothing but follow him , to feel him pressed against her , to hear her name on his lips . angel who melts his sadness with song , filling the proud , haunted knight with warmth and a tender longing he never thought to experience again ? The inviting look she gives him is too tempting to resist . And so blackguard 's heart , thus destroying his sworn affections for another . But after a night of intense passion , she discovers de Vessey is merely the emissary of her enemy . And now that she has known ecstasy in his arms - - - and awakened both the gentleness and fire within him - - - it is Briar who is undone , torn between her aching hunger for justice . . . and her all - consuming desire for a love that must not be ! When I first picked this up , I was really looking forward to it , since I do love a romance set in something different from the regency era . And I have just enjoyed Sara Bennett 's books in the past . My main concern was I had issues with the heroine . . . I just never liked her much through most of it , the hero was way more approachable and I found I was drawn to him . Briar and her two sisters have been on her own since their father was claimed to be a traitor . Briar has done everything possible to protect her family . She has had to sacrifice herself and has only come out burned . She doesn 't trust any man . One night while singing in a Hall , she meets Ivo de Vessey whom she believes at first is the one responsible for their circumstances . So her plan is to seduce him , and then when he trusts her , to hurt him as much as he has hurt her family . After a surprisingly sensual night together , she learns that he is not who she thought . She feels at a loss , now having caught the attention of a gentle knight who is enamored with her . Ivo is a disgraced knight , by no fault of his own , but his brother who despises him . Ivo has gone through the world and is afraid of losing his heart to another woman , until he meets Briar , who stirs his blood and makes him believe that they could have a chance , if only Briar would learn to trust in their love . Ivo is one of those knights that you want by your side . Even though he hasn 't has the best of luck , he has some powerful friends that know how loyal and trustworthy he is . I really enjoyed what strong character he had . He was so patient with Briar , when I wanted to string her up a tree at times and throw her into the ocean . Ivo was very romantic and never took Briar too literally , he seemed to understand her fears and it was interesting seeing his manner with her . Ivo won me over from the first few chapters . Now Briar , I had a difficulty with . I could never get to the point where I liked her . She seemed to take away much from the story . I think it could have been better if Briar hadn 't been so bitter and offended at every turn . No matter what Ivo did or said , it was a major fight for her . She was very confrontary , and always looking for a fight at times . Frankly she was annoying and I was constantly frustrated with this character . I admired Ivo for his patience with her . Even though this is my least favorite from this author , I do want to read the first two in the series , since we see one of Ivo 's friends ( his is the first book in the series ) , and I loved how he and his wife have a positive involvement . I found that despite me not liking the heroine in any way , and even though she took a major enjoyment of the story , there were other aspects of the story that were enjoyable . I really liked how the plot plays out , and the way there is a bit of a mystery and a danger aspect to the story that only adds to it . A story that doesn 't exactly stir you up , but is one that you can enjoy at times . The Amorous Education of Celia Seaton - - is the third in the series , one I have really enjoy so far . So I am excited to see how much I will like this one , especially after the high ratings . Waiting On " Wednesday is a weekly event hosted by Breaking the Spine , that spotlights upcoming releases we are eagerly anticipating . This Lachann MacMillan 's watched his older brother , the laird of his clan , find a passionate marriage , but he suffers no illusions that his path will be the same - - especially as the woman he loved was stolen from him years ago . He 's ready to leave his homeland and make his mark . He 'll even enter into a passionless marriage to the daughter of the Laird of Kilogorra if anything but angelic . Anna has been a lowly servant in her uncle , the Laird of Kilogorra 's home , since her mother died years ago . She has no envy for her cousin 's matrimonial fate as observation of has taught her that freedom - - no matter the serving chains - - is far more precious that being under the command of a husband . But when Lachlann arrives to marry Anna 's cousin , she finds herself longing for something she never knew she wanted . Together the maid and the highlander may find I have always had such a fun time reading this author , especially when it involves her time travel books , so I was a bit surprised to find that this one didn 't have one ounce of time travel . A historical set in the Dark Ages . I will warn you that the viking slang does take some getting used to , and is probably the reason I had a trying time getting into it at first , but once I fully adjusted I started to really enjoy it , and it was hard to put down at times . There was such a chemistry between Drifa and Sidroc , and even though they are almost at each others throats quite a bit , there is also much more to their relationship . Sidroc Guntersson has recently lost his wife , and so his baby daughter needs him . Sidroc is very insistent that she survive . His father would like nothing better than to toss her out on the doorstep , but Sidroc knows that he will need to remarry in order to gain wealth he needs and a mother for his child . So when he hears that King of Stoneheim still has one daughter unmarried , he decides to try to court her and marry her . Princess Drifa at first is enamored with Sidroc , he is handsome and charming , and makes her warm all over , so she decides to accept his suit , until she learns that all he needs her for is for his daughter and for the money he would attain if he were to marry her . So she swings a pitcher across his head , and it ends up doing quite a bit of damage and he is unconscious for six weeks . He wakes to find Drifa gone with her sisters on a trip so he ends up leaving to go after his daughter only to find her gone so he leaves to build a new life for himself . Drifa is enraged when she hears of Sidroc 's plot , but when she hears of his infant daughter , she decides to go after her and bring her back to Sidroc . When she returns she learns he is gone , and endeavors to find him . Now its been five years , and when she heads down to Byzantium , and is shocked to find him again . Now their mutual passion for each other has risen , and despite danger surrounding them at every turn , it will taking fully trust to defeat those that would tear them apart . Sidroc is your typical viking , arrogant , confident , too good looking for his own good , and loves a beautiful woman in his bed . I found him to be very believable and fully authentic and so HOT you will need a fan to cool yourself down . Drifa I found to be a very endearing heroine , and I liked her immediately , and she has such courage and tenacity that is very admirable . She doesn 't back down from Sidroc and I enjoyed seeing the chemistry build between the two characters . I found this one to be a fun and adventurous tale that takes you back to the Viking Era , and shows a more sensual side to that time . I enjoyed the in depth characters , and the fun humor that keeps you laughing from beginning to end . I will warn you that the slang can be a bit much but if you give it time , you adjust to it , and it becomes a entertaining and enough intense conflict with the plot to keep you on edge at times . SATISFYINGLY ENJOYABLE ! ! ! With a messed up family background and a tendency to grow claws and fangs , Tanner Chance isn 't exactly the boy next door . But he 's a decent cop , and he keeps himself on the side of the good guys . Convenient , because when he rescues a survivor of a horrific shifter attack he finds himself instantly smitten - with an honest - to - goodness angel , as innocent as she is irresistible . Marna may be angelic , but she 's not stupid or weak . She can take care of herself . Tanner is more temptation than protection anyway . Or so she thinks , until someone wearing her face starts taking out some of New Orleans ' more unsavory paranormals . With police and predators both gunning for her blood , Marna has no choice but to trust Tanner … even though what 's sparking between them is hotter than anything holy . Cynthia is a southern girl who loves horror movies , chocolate , and happy endings . She has always wanted to write ( don 't most authors say that ? ) , and particularly enjoys creating stories about monsters - vampires , werewolves , and even the real - life monsters that populate her romantic suspense stories . Cynthia 's foreign sales for her books include translations to Japan , Germany , Thailand , Greece , and Brazil . ( Back in the day … ) Cynthia graduated summa cum laude from the University of South Alabama where she studied Sociology ( because people interest her ) and Communication ( because she likes to write about said people ) . Cynthia has worked as a college admissions counselor , a teacher , and as an editor . But now , Cynthia is thrilled to be spending her days making up stories . from war , Spencer Lockhart returns home to claim his title and right the wrong his cousin perpetrated upon Evelyn Cross . In need of a wife , his marrying her is a small price to pay for duty . But when he meets her , the fiery chit is not what he expects to find in a ruined lady . As desire flares hotly between them , honor is the last thing on his mind . . Every time I get a chance to read from Sophie Jordan I find myself in for one hell of a ride of a story . I always know that it will be easy to read and I will be thoroughly entertained . Even though I enjoyed this one , there was just something I felt was missing . It was very easy and a quick read , which is the norm for Jordan 's book . But I felt like there wasn 't much of a " romance " , I wish there had been a bit more development between the couple . The end seemed a bit rushed , however I would slightly recommend this , just it wouldn 't be at the top of my list of favorites of this author . Evie is one of the three girls where they formed a friendship at the Penwhich school for girls , which was misery in and of itself . Her father sent her there when she was a girl . Now after returning from Barbados , where she was almost attacked and raped , she knows that she will have to sacrifice everything for her sister , who is the only one in her family that loves her . When her sister Linnie gives birth to a son , with the father a soldier and serving elsewhere , she is about to lose her child . So Evie claims the child as her own , and is to be taken to the countryside and will claim to be a widow . Four years have passed since , and Nicholas , she considers to be her own , especially since Linnie died shortly after giving birth . Then she meets Spencer Lockhart , who claims to be the cousin of Nicholas ' father and Linnie 's lover . AT first she is resistant to him , but when he proposes marriage and a life of security and opportunity for her son , she is more than willing . At first she is afraid of his reaction to the truth , but the lie starts to eat away at her , and when her feelings for him start to slowly change into love , she knows she must tell him everything . But she wonders when the truth comes out will he still care about her , or will she lost him completely ? Spencer has retired from the army , since his brothers death , he knows it is up to him to take responsibility to the title that rests on his shoulders . He is still grieving for his cousin who was his close friend , and has dreamed for years of " Linnie " . Spencer is a bit arrogant , very sexual , and I had a hard time liking him for most of the book , until the end , he started to become a bit likable . So he was not my favorite , especially in his treatment of Evie , who I think has a heart of gold . Evie , has sacrificed everything for her family , and they still treat her like dirt . Spencer isn 't much different , its all about sex for him , whereas Evie wishes for something more in their relationship . I loved how strong willed she is , and doesn 't back down and demands respect for herself . . . I love seeing her develop some good backbone especially to her parents in the end . ( they totally deserved it ) . I found something lacking in their relationship . Overall this was my least favorite of Sophie Jordan so far . I was very surprised that I didn 't like it more . I found it to be a bit brutal for Jordan 's style . I didn 't really like it all that much , there were some good factors involved , but I felt like there was some substance missing from it . I felt like there could have been more development in their relationship , and I didn 't see how they went from sex and hating each other , to madly in love . It just didn 't fit for me completely . Disappointed , but plan on reading more from this author , since I know I have just loved her other books . cannot refuse . She must take his hand in marriage and pay him back in full : one night of passion for each stolen pearl . But when Callie surrenders to his desires - night after wicked night - he awakens something deep inside of her . Something powerful and passionate . Like a fairy tale My Review I do love a good Beauty and the Beast theme like story , and this one I would put at the top of my list of favorites . Its the type of story that instantly draws you in and its pretty hard to put down . I do love a story that is easy to get into , but difficult to let go of . This is the first that I have read from this author . I saw the cover and read the blurb , and with no regrets picked it up , knowing I would probably regret it if I didn 't . When She Said I Do is pretty close to the beauty and the beast fairy tale . But it also has its own unique tale that sets it apart as well . When Callie along with her parents and her brother end up nearly drowning in the river when their carriage goes down , they find a huge mansion that she assumes is abandoned . When she gets the rest of her family settled , dressed in only her underclothes , she decides to explore a bit . She finds every room abandoned , and then she comes across a magnificent pearl necklace , and then gets caught red handed by a big man , with half of his face scarred . Caught in a compromising position , her brother and the Mr . Ren Porter end up in a duel and then Callie claims that they will be married . So Callie finds herself married and in a agreement with Mr . Porter , one in which she will share his bed for each stolen pearl . Callie is instantly drawn into this game of seduction , where Ren teaches her the true meaning of desire and surrender . What Callie doesn 't expect is to find herself falling in love with her husband , one who protects his heart with a iron shield . It will take more than Callie ever expected to melt the iron around his heart , and to keep him forever . Ren has recently recovered from a near fatal attack , where he was punctured in the chest , and as such was told that he will die soon from the injuries . As a spy for his country , he has retired , and doesn 't trust anyone , at least until Callie comes along . When he finds Callie , a beautiful siren , who ironically ends up as his wife , he is determined to keep her as long as he possibly can . Ren is a very virile and alpha type male . He is very proud and can be paranoid at times , considering his previous life . I found myself really enjoy the type of character Ren turned out to be . He just made me want to melt . Callie is a very unique heroine . She isn 't all that fearful of her new husband , despite his commanding presence and his scars , she starts to see beneath the surface . I loved how she never treats him less because of what has happened to her . I admired her creativity in trying to gain Ren 's trust , and making the mansion into a home . There is such a strong intimate connection that is very intense at times . You might need a fan to cool ya down a bit at times during this story . Overall I found this story to be a delight and a very sensual take on Beauty and the Beast . I have to say for the first time reading this author , I am already going to add the rest of her books on my wish list , I loved her that much ! ! ! There is such a delightful mix of sensuality and witty humor that captivates the reader . Its unconventional at times , but it has a certain uniqueness that only adds to the wonderfully crafted tale of passion , adventure , intrigue and a tender love story that is bound to steal your heart , that will make anyone believe in a happily ever after . Lusting for Covers is a meme found on TBQ so come and join in on this fun meme ! ! ! 1 - Take the graphic ( left ) to use on your post . Remember to give credit to the original host ( TBQ ) . 2 - Choose your own book cover that you 've fallen in " lust " with in the past week . It can be new , old , a reprint , or even a book that is not yet out - - it 's all up to you ! If you find a cover that catches your eye , then showcase it on your blog , and let others see the pretty covers out there . 3 - Copy the direct link to your own L4C post into the comment section on my post ( when in doubt , use this link and then scroll down to find the post ) , and allow others to come and see what you picked ! ( OPTIONAL ) : 4 - Besides posting the picture of the book cover you chose , it 's nice to provide the book summary , title , author , or a website link for the book . It 's not required , but it can help you readers ' to add more books to their own list ! A brief " Why I choose this cover " is also appreciated , but not required scholar Genevieve Barrett knows how to keep a secret . Her identity as the author of her father 's academic articles has always been her greatest deception - until a charming housebreaker tries to steal the mysterious Harmsworth Jewel from her . She doesn 't reveal that she recognizes her father 's devastatingly handsome new student as the thief himself . For Genevieve , this will be the most seductive secret of all . . . To Catch A ThiefSir Richard Harmsworth has been living a lie , maintaining a rakish façade to show society that he doesn 't care about his status as a bastard . Yet long haunted by his unknown father 's identity , Richard believes the Harmsworth Jewel will confirm his claim as the rightful heir . But when Richard sets out to seduce the bookworm who possesses the stone , he instead falls for its beautiful owner . But even as she steals Richard 's heart , Genevieve will be in greater danger than her coveted treasure . . and a man she 's forbidden to acknowledge . But when Jack begins a breathtaking seduction , Sophie can barely resist . Jack never imagined that the daughter of his family 's mortal enemy would awaken such fierce passion within him - until one unforgettable kiss changes his mind forever . Soon , Jack is hell - bent on winning Sophie 's hand , going so far as to abduct her to save her from marrying a rival nobleman . Determined to woo Sophie and her unyielding parents , Jack is faced with the one decision he 'd sworn never to make . The secret heir to a prince , Jack has spurned his royal heritage for years . . . but for Sophie he 'll When I had been given the ARC by Edelweiss and Ballantine Books , I was thrilled because even though I haven 't read this author in a long while , I have enjoyed her in the past . I had also read some very positive reviews , that made me excited to read this story . It is definitely a bit more intense than I expected . It is based on the tale of Romeo and Juliet . . . only this time it actually has a happy ending ( which is a requirement for any book I read ) But this couple does have a bit of a bumpy road before they get to the roses and daisies . From the beginning it starts out with Jack , who is known as a rake , but is also part of a family that is practically at war with Sophie 's family . Jack 's cousin , is on a mission to convince him that Sophie is his mate and as such he needs to pursue her . At first he thinks she is crazy , but there is a certain connection from their first kiss , at a masquerade ball , where Sophie 's passions are awakened and desire for a man that should be her enemy , is far from it . Sophie has a duty to her parents , who are financially struggling if it wasn 't for her aunt . So a marriage proposal from a titled lord is what her father desires for her . But when Jack consistently pursues her ina way that she finds it hard to resist . . . from Jack climbing up the wall to her room , to meeting in secret for sensual rendezvous , she knows that she is in trouble of falling hard for him , especially when she knows that it isn 't possible to have a future with him . Her father blames the Wilde 's for quite a bit , and has hardened his heart . So Jack is forced to take desperate measures when Sophie finds herself engaged to a man that would bore her to tears . Now Sophie will have to decide what is more important : her obligation to her family , or her love and passion with Jack . Jack is very unlike most heroes you usually see . Even though he is rumored to be a rake , he is far from it . He is very protective of others , has many vulnerabilities and there is so much depth to Jack , I fell in love with him from the beginning , I so wish I could have traded places with Sophie , I would love to have Jack as my own - - - sexy , protective , loyal , involved in helping others in need , and a fighter for the woman he loves . Jack isn 't resistant to love like most heroes of this era , he is willing to give their relationship a fighting chance to succeed . Sophie I found to be very likable , even if she could have had a bit more spin when it came to Jack . But I understood her reasons , her family is everything to her . I admired her devotion to them and her desire to sacrifice for them , but it was fun seeing her change into a fighter for both her family and the man she loves . It was interesting to see the slow change in her , and I loved seeing the development in both Jack and Sophie . There was so much depth to these characters , and seeing the side characters added to the story in a delightful way . There were so many things that I liked about this story , and I can 't think of anything major that I didn 't like . There was so much to LOVER BE MINE that made for a strong and sensational story . . . that reminded me of why I love romance novels so much . Even though I haven 't read the first one in the series , I didn 't feel lost or anything , it was easy to catch on , and I wasn 't ever lost . The plot was fun and I enjoyed how it followed the play of Romeo and Juliet - - - even the whole climbing up the tower to talk to Sophie - I do love a hero who has more stubbornness than sense - - makes it more exciting and unique . I love the wide variety of emotions that were displayed through the story , that only made it more vivid and almost real . Such a powerful driven story of passion , love and deep emotion that will blow you away ! ! ! First Line Her beauty held a uncommon allure , much to his regret . Favorite Quote " Don 't go yet , " The intensity in his tone surprised even him . " I must . " When she hesitated , he rose to his feet . As he gazed down at her , those lovely blue eyes locked with his again and something primitive arced between them . Something heated and alive . Shivering , she took a step backward , but Jack tightened his fingers around hers , his resolve renewed . If this one kiss would determine his fate , he intended to make it unforgettable . My Grade 5 Blossoms On My Wishlist is a fun weekly event hosted by Book Chick City and runs every Saturday . It 's where I list all the books I desperately want but haven 't actually bought yet . They can be old , new or forthcoming . she was just a girl when they first met , Caroline Tolbertson 's infatuation with David Cameron remains undimmed . Now fate has brought the handsome Scotsman back to Brighton for what promises to be an unforgettable summer . Soon , Caroline will have to choose a husband , but for now she is free to indulge her curiosity in things of a passionate nature . That is , if David will agree to teach her . Past mistakes have convinced David he 'll make a terrible husband , though he 'll gladly help the unconventional Caroline find a suitor . Unfortunately , she has something more scandalous in mind . As the contenders for her hand begin to line up , her future seems assured … provided David can do the honorable thing and let them have her . his dying enemy to Scottish soil . But the discovery that the vanished child perished in infancy seventeen years earlier threatens Leith 's mission - - unless he can fool the ailing chieftain with a beautiful impostor . An Unspoiled Beauty At first , lovely and spirited Rose Gunther is incensed by the arrogant Scotsman who whisks her away from her English convent . But protest as she might , Rose is helpless to resist the handsome warrior - - whose sensuous touch promises a different kind of heaven . And soon even a perilous deception seems but a small price to pay to savor fully the sweet , forbidden nectar of Leith 's love . Hadley has managed her family 's estate for years . So why can 't she request her own dowry ? She 'll have to go to London herself and knock some sense into the men interfering in her life . With the nonsense she 's less to worry about … Jack Valentine , third son of the famous Duchess of Love , is through being pursued by pushy young ladies . One particularly determined miss has run him out of his own house party . Luckily the inn has one bed left - Jack just has to share with a rather entertaining red - headed youth . Perhaps the two of them should ride to London together . It will make a pleasant escape from his mother 's matchmaking melodrama ! by her stepmother to attend a ball , Kate meets a prince . . . and decides he 's anything but charming . A clash of wits and wills ensues , but they both know their irresistible attraction will lead nowhere . For Gabriel is promised to another woman - a princess whose hand in marriage will fulfill his ruthless ambitions . Gabriel likes his fiancée , which is a welcome turn of events , but he doesn 't love her . Obviously , he should be wooing his bride - to - be , not the witty , impoverished beauty who refuses to fawn over him . Godmothers a happily ever after . Unless a prince throws away everything that makes him noble . . . Unless a dowry of an unruly heart trumps a fortune . . . Unless one kiss at the stroke of midnight changes everything . Just so you are all aware , all of the pictures found on my blog come from Library Thing , Goodreads , Amazon , FictiondB , and FanPop . If there is a picture on my blog that shouldn 't be on here due to permission rights just let me know and I will take it off immediately . Thank you ! All the books that I review are either ones I have bought , or ones I borrow from the Library . All reviews are my honest opinion . My Grading System 5 Blossoms - Excellent well written story , that keeps you entertained and turning the pages as fast as you can read them . Definitely a keeper and a re - read ! ! ! 4 Blossoms - A Genuine read , with a strong story line , and considerable description of the characters to go along with it . Not a favorite , but a story not to regret reading . 3 Blossoms - A standard written story , with average description of characters and scenes of events . Nothing to distinct or memorable , but a pleasant read . But there is still the question in one 's mind of " Shouldn 't there be something more ? " 2 Blossoms - A poor written plot and characters . Nothing much in the story seems to entice the reader for me , apart from a few scenes . There is a lot to be desires in this one ! 1 Blossom - The reader has to force themselves to get through the whole book . Its a chore rather than a pleasure . Poor plot , poor described characters and nothing to really captivate the readers attention . I am 27 years old , I am a huge fan of romance ! ! Its my favorite thing . I do like to scrapbook , hike , travel , and hang out with friends and family , I am single , but still looking for the Mr Addict of romance . View my complete profile
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Draven Winthrop is whispered about , avoided , and feared . Yet Isabella is drawn to Draven 's dark good looks , his strength , the charm he can turn on as easily as she can blink . The impoverished daughter of an Egyptologist , she knows there are rumors about her , too , and the amulet she wears . Nothing more than superstitious babble … But when Isabella returns to Draven 's remote coastal manor , she senses there is something more at work in the grim gardens of Thorncliff Towers than superstition . Draven is passionate and seductive , but he has a brutal , uncontrolled side too , and a history of secrets . To live in peace she must discover the reasons behind a gypsy curse and a mother 's scorn . Especially when she learns Draven believes his sweet young bride is doomed to a fate even darker than his own … My Review When I went on Netgalley to get this copy , I was really excited , because the synopsis sounds way good , and I had heard good things about it . This is the first book by this author , that I know of , and oh boy I was IMPRESSED ! ! ! She has been bumped up my list of favorite authors , I just wished that she had more books out , because I just thought the Beauty and the wolf was a astounding read with a intense plot and enriching characters that lifted my spirits , and made me feel alive . So its coming out this week , so when it does . . . . you HAVE to read this . . . its a MUST ! ! ! You won 't regret it . Draven and Isabella have courted and married . Isabella didn 't have much choice , with being a governess she had little option but to marry a man that is rumored to be mad . Draven had spent many years in the asylum , having thought that he was really cursed . Draven many years ago made a mistake that cost him his life and happiness . He knows that he is cursed , to spend every month under the moon , to turn into something wild and bloodthirsty . When he marries Isabella , he ends up feeling himself turn on their wedding night , and scaring her into leaving . Now two years later Isabella wants children , and with little money , goes back to her husband , so she can have security for herself and her father , and children . Only she has one problem - - - seduce a man that keeps resisting even though she knows he wants her . Even though Isabella knows that there is something scary and fierce about Draven , she senses something good and pure in him . There is also a part of him that terrifies her , and she doesn 't know what he really is . Even though she finds herself falling in love with him , she feels that he is keeping a huge secret from her that could change their relationship . Draven is terrified into what this curse is turning him into . He feels the curse changing who he is , and now that he has found Isabella again , she represents everything good in the world , and he wants her more than air . But he wonders if this curse could destroy them both . Draven is one of my favorite heroes , the emotional tortured kind . I really liked his strength of character , and even though there is a wild nature to him , he also has a good heart that is very evident . I enjoyed seeing how tender and feeling he is toward Isabella . He isn 't too bitter with her , more with himself . He is a bit brooding , and stubborn but I enjoyed how rich his character was , and very intense at times . Isabella isn 't exactly the most trusting , but I understood her side of things . I admire her strength especially when it seemed that Draven could be pretty scary . She tended to deal with it pretty well . A very well written retelling of the fairy tale Beauty and the Beast . I found this one to be well done and in some ways very similar to the actual tale , but there were certain differences that added a certain flair of originality . One other aspect that I loved was that it was set in a historical setting - - which isn 't very common . I found it to be a fun setting for the plot . It does have a bit more of a Gothic edge to it , but I thought that was one of the positive elements to the story . Intensely packed filled romance with adventure , mystery , curses , dark paranormal elements and a exciting edge that will have you from beginning to end . Very Impressed ! ! ! I can hardly wait for the second one to come out later this year ! ! If , when lost on the moors , you encounter Tarquin Compton , the leader of London society who ruined your marriage prospects , deny any previous acquaintance . Lesson Three : If presented with an opportunity to get back at Mr . Compton , the bigger the lie , the better . A faux engagement should do nicely . Lesson Four : Not all knowledge is found between the covers of a book . But an improper book may further your education in ways you never guessed . And while an erotic novel may be entertaining , the real thing is even better . I acquired this book , the third installment , from the library . Now I was a bit apprehensive about reading this since the past two books were enjoyable but didn 't exactly have me hooked , in the way I like to be into a story . But I had heard great fabulous reviews about this story , so I was looking forward to it . I am delighted to say that I LOVED it ! It was the type of story that completely pulls you in from the first few pages . Of late I never know if I will be into a story or not , so I was glad that this one proved to be my favorite of the series and the author so far . It begins with Miss Celia Seaton being kidnapped and robbed by a stranger , who takes everything except for a rattle ( that is her most precious possession ) and her shift , no clothes , or shoes . She finds herself stranded in the country and comes along another man who has been robbed himself , but who is suffering from a case of amnesia and is the one man she despises , for he ruined her in front of society , and because of him she is destitute . So she comes up with a quick plan , to tell him that they are engaged to be married , because she believes he deserves a bit of justice . So she decides to create a new " fishy " name for him , and as they endeavor to stay one step ahead of a man who is chasing them , a desire develops and they are both caught up in the heat of the moment . When Celia starts to soften toward Tarquin , he then regains his memory , and he is more than furious . They then head to his estate , where his aunt finds them in a compromising position and he claims that they will be married . So now Celia is engaged for " Real " and she doesn 't know her true feelings about her future . At first she doesn 't see a need for them to be married , but she realizes that she wants to share a life with Tarquin with whom she has started to love , despite fighting her feelings for him , she can 't resist him . Celia I found to be a very amusing heroine , I was laughing so much . I loved how audacious she was , especially when dealing with Tarquin . Celia is very willful and independent , but loves to tease and play jokes , especially on a man who ruined her . I liked how she doesn 't let anything discourage her , and she ends up being a very endearing character . I enjoyed seeing how she dealt with each new scenario . Tarquin is very education and intellectual , and a bit of a " fop " , but despite his obsession with clothing , I grew to like him more and more , with each different circumstance when dealing with Celia . I enjoyed seeing how they connected , and even when he learns the truth and regains his memory , he doesn 't fully take it out on Celia . I admired him more for that . I loved the intimacy that slowly develops and it is more gradual , but it was fun seeing these two interact and get over their misconceptions about each other . Overall I found the third installment to be a sensational read that takes you on a variety of adventure and sensuality that is bound to tie you in knots . I enjoy the different aspects that develop for the story , and its much more than a amnesia / revenge type story - - that is only the beginning . It starts out that way of course , but turns into a quite suspenseful plot and ends up forcing the reader to be on edge at times . There was also just a smooth flow to the story , that made it easy to read and keep enjoying all the way through . The intimacy that develops between the characters are fun and sexy and I found this story to be a ball of fun and adventure ! ! ! You definitely want to put this on your watch out for list ! WELL DONE ! ! She looked up and her gray eyes seemed huge and bright . " I wanted you to kiss me , " She said . An invitation he ought to resist . Just one kiss , he reasoned . To refuse would be to insult a lady . ferals , from male Shifters looking for mates . He likes Maria 's resilience and fire , but she 's been broken , and Ellison wants more than anything to heal her . When a new danger threatens Shiftertown 's cubs , Maria partners with Ellison to stop a cold - blooded criminal . My Review I have such a love for this author and especially her newest series - - Shifters Unbound . From the first book I fell in love . I think this series is one of my top paranormal favorites . There is such a magical way that Ashley displays in her writing that captivates the reader , and every time I pick a book up I know I will have a good time . Lone Wolf is Ellison 's story , which I have been waiting on for quite some time . Total bad ass cowboy , that is not afraid of anything or anyone . It was great seeing a more intimate side of him , and get a look into what makes him ' tick ' . He has a certain attraction to Maria , who has recently arrived , after being rescued from feral shifters . Her past is murky , and her emotions unstable and lives in constant fear , but we see as their relationship becomes more solid that she starts to become more independent , and is working her way to living her life instead of just existing . I enjoyed seeing the way this couple falls in love , and there was quite a bit of conflict that added a sense of excitement and a unique flair of romance that completely makes you fall in love instantly with Ellison and Maria . Even though its a novella , it was very well done , and it didn 't feel too rushed or short in any way , I felt it was perfectly balanced of sensuality , adventure , suspense , and a sweet love story that will bring a tear to your eye . A WINNER OF A READ ! Her mom 's psychic , her dad 's mom is a snob , her mom 's parental units are ' too down to earth ' and her best friends are newlyweds . Okay , so her best friends being newlyweds isn 't really abnormal , but living with them in a cramped two - bedroom apartment definitely is . Sex , sex , sex , is totally on their brains . Actually , it 's not only on their brains , but it 's on the kitchen table , couch , on top of the washer … well , you get the picture . Being a celibate ( not by choice , mind you ) full - time college student , and working as an almost full - time barista , Pandora can 't afford to lose anymore sleep . So , she decides to seek out a new place to lay her head . Enter three ' drool worthy ' guy models that are looking for a fourth roommate , and they want her … and won 't take no for an answer . About The Author Amanda Jason is the pen name for Carol Kunz 's adult romance novels . She is the C part of the mother and son author duo , C . A . Kunz . The name Amanda Jason actually has a special meaning to Carol because it is a tribute to the set of twins she lost many years ago . Carol began her dream of writing when her son , Adam , asked her to write a young adult fantasy novel back in 2011 . She couldn 't have been happier to embark on this wonderful journey into the literary world with her son because it was # 1 on her bucket list . Carol currently lives in sunny Florida with her hubby and her two four - legged fur babies . She takes comfort in the fact that her amazing daughter and son live close by . When she isn 't writing , you can find her walking her yellow Lab or reading a good book . " Lucky Number Four " is the debut novel of Amanda Jason , and it 's been a long time coming . Author Links Twitter Facebook Goodreads Posted by Forbes had never wed , for none compared to Liam , the love of her childhood . But Rachel was high - born and Liam an orphan , so marriage was impossible . Now grown , a chance meeting unites Rachel with the man of her heart , and it seems their destinies are entwined once more , for Liam is her rescuer and she must keep him by her side if she is to stay alive . Liam is tempted beyond all reason by Rachel . She has the eyes of a saint , the smooth skin of a princess . . . and lips he cannot resist kissing . He knows he has no name or family to offer - - - but given My Review I haven 't read much of this author , but I have read a couple , so I was hoping this would be a fun read , and I found I really liked it for the most part . It took a little while to get into , but once I did , I started to enjoyed the story . I liked the way the author takes the plot with the interesting variety of unique twists to the plot that gave it a certain dramatic flair . There is a bit of a paranormal aspect , that wasn 't overly done , and it felt like it flowed smoothly along with the story line . The characters were lively and fun to see them interact . It takes places back in the early 1500 's , so we see a side of a culture that proved evident that the author did some good research ( which is a vital factor when writing historical 's ) . There was such a witty and sensual side to Greiman 's writing that made the story become alive . I enjoyed seeing the way this story is put together in such a way that it can appeal to any romantic heart . I lively read that can be enjoyed for the summer time . Definitely looking forward to reading more from this author . But just then their fingers inadvertently brushed . The fire just doused was renewed . Liam clenched his jaw , and , seeming unable to help himself , he snatched her hand and moved toward the wagon . She could do nothing but follow him . Wanted to do nothing but follow him , to feel him pressed against her , to hear her name on his lips . angel who melts his sadness with song , filling the proud , haunted knight with warmth and a tender longing he never thought to experience again ? The inviting look she gives him is too tempting to resist . And so blackguard 's heart , thus destroying his sworn affections for another . But after a night of intense passion , she discovers de Vessey is merely the emissary of her enemy . And now that she has known ecstasy in his arms - - - and awakened both the gentleness and fire within him - - - it is Briar who is undone , torn between her aching hunger for justice . . . and her all - consuming desire for a love that must not be ! When I first picked this up , I was really looking forward to it , since I do love a romance set in something different from the regency era . And I have just enjoyed Sara Bennett 's books in the past . My main concern was I had issues with the heroine . . . I just never liked her much through most of it , the hero was way more approachable and I found I was drawn to him . Briar and her two sisters have been on her own since their father was claimed to be a traitor . Briar has done everything possible to protect her family . She has had to sacrifice herself and has only come out burned . She doesn 't trust any man . One night while singing in a Hall , she meets Ivo de Vessey whom she believes at first is the one responsible for their circumstances . So her plan is to seduce him , and then when he trusts her , to hurt him as much as he has hurt her family . After a surprisingly sensual night together , she learns that he is not who she thought . She feels at a loss , now having caught the attention of a gentle knight who is enamored with her . Ivo is a disgraced knight , by no fault of his own , but his brother who despises him . Ivo has gone through the world and is afraid of losing his heart to another woman , until he meets Briar , who stirs his blood and makes him believe that they could have a chance , if only Briar would learn to trust in their love . Ivo is one of those knights that you want by your side . Even though he hasn 't has the best of luck , he has some powerful friends that know how loyal and trustworthy he is . I really enjoyed what strong character he had . He was so patient with Briar , when I wanted to string her up a tree at times and throw her into the ocean . Ivo was very romantic and never took Briar too literally , he seemed to understand her fears and it was interesting seeing his manner with her . Ivo won me over from the first few chapters . Now Briar , I had a difficulty with . I could never get to the point where I liked her . She seemed to take away much from the story . I think it could have been better if Briar hadn 't been so bitter and offended at every turn . No matter what Ivo did or said , it was a major fight for her . She was very confrontary , and always looking for a fight at times . Frankly she was annoying and I was constantly frustrated with this character . I admired Ivo for his patience with her . Even though this is my least favorite from this author , I do want to read the first two in the series , since we see one of Ivo 's friends ( his is the first book in the series ) , and I loved how he and his wife have a positive involvement . I found that despite me not liking the heroine in any way , and even though she took a major enjoyment of the story , there were other aspects of the story that were enjoyable . I really liked how the plot plays out , and the way there is a bit of a mystery and a danger aspect to the story that only adds to it . A story that doesn 't exactly stir you up , but is one that you can enjoy at times . The Amorous Education of Celia Seaton - - is the third in the series , one I have really enjoy so far . So I am excited to see how much I will like this one , especially after the high ratings . Waiting On " Wednesday is a weekly event hosted by Breaking the Spine , that spotlights upcoming releases we are eagerly anticipating . This Lachann MacMillan 's watched his older brother , the laird of his clan , find a passionate marriage , but he suffers no illusions that his path will be the same - - especially as the woman he loved was stolen from him years ago . He 's ready to leave his homeland and make his mark . He 'll even enter into a passionless marriage to the daughter of the Laird of Kilogorra if anything but angelic . Anna has been a lowly servant in her uncle , the Laird of Kilogorra 's home , since her mother died years ago . She has no envy for her cousin 's matrimonial fate as observation of has taught her that freedom - - no matter the serving chains - - is far more precious that being under the command of a husband . But when Lachlann arrives to marry Anna 's cousin , she finds herself longing for something she never knew she wanted . Together the maid and the highlander may find I have always had such a fun time reading this author , especially when it involves her time travel books , so I was a bit surprised to find that this one didn 't have one ounce of time travel . A historical set in the Dark Ages . I will warn you that the viking slang does take some getting used to , and is probably the reason I had a trying time getting into it at first , but once I fully adjusted I started to really enjoy it , and it was hard to put down at times . There was such a chemistry between Drifa and Sidroc , and even though they are almost at each others throats quite a bit , there is also much more to their relationship . Sidroc Guntersson has recently lost his wife , and so his baby daughter needs him . Sidroc is very insistent that she survive . His father would like nothing better than to toss her out on the doorstep , but Sidroc knows that he will need to remarry in order to gain wealth he needs and a mother for his child . So when he hears that King of Stoneheim still has one daughter unmarried , he decides to try to court her and marry her . Princess Drifa at first is enamored with Sidroc , he is handsome and charming , and makes her warm all over , so she decides to accept his suit , until she learns that all he needs her for is for his daughter and for the money he would attain if he were to marry her . So she swings a pitcher across his head , and it ends up doing quite a bit of damage and he is unconscious for six weeks . He wakes to find Drifa gone with her sisters on a trip so he ends up leaving to go after his daughter only to find her gone so he leaves to build a new life for himself . Drifa is enraged when she hears of Sidroc 's plot , but when she hears of his infant daughter , she decides to go after her and bring her back to Sidroc . When she returns she learns he is gone , and endeavors to find him . Now its been five years , and when she heads down to Byzantium , and is shocked to find him again . Now their mutual passion for each other has risen , and despite danger surrounding them at every turn , it will taking fully trust to defeat those that would tear them apart . Sidroc is your typical viking , arrogant , confident , too good looking for his own good , and loves a beautiful woman in his bed . I found him to be very believable and fully authentic and so HOT you will need a fan to cool yourself down . Drifa I found to be a very endearing heroine , and I liked her immediately , and she has such courage and tenacity that is very admirable . She doesn 't back down from Sidroc and I enjoyed seeing the chemistry build between the two characters . I found this one to be a fun and adventurous tale that takes you back to the Viking Era , and shows a more sensual side to that time . I enjoyed the in depth characters , and the fun humor that keeps you laughing from beginning to end . I will warn you that the slang can be a bit much but if you give it time , you adjust to it , and it becomes a entertaining and enough intense conflict with the plot to keep you on edge at times . SATISFYINGLY ENJOYABLE ! ! ! With a messed up family background and a tendency to grow claws and fangs , Tanner Chance isn 't exactly the boy next door . But he 's a decent cop , and he keeps himself on the side of the good guys . Convenient , because when he rescues a survivor of a horrific shifter attack he finds himself instantly smitten - with an honest - to - goodness angel , as innocent as she is irresistible . Marna may be angelic , but she 's not stupid or weak . She can take care of herself . Tanner is more temptation than protection anyway . Or so she thinks , until someone wearing her face starts taking out some of New Orleans ' more unsavory paranormals . With police and predators both gunning for her blood , Marna has no choice but to trust Tanner … even though what 's sparking between them is hotter than anything holy . Cynthia is a southern girl who loves horror movies , chocolate , and happy endings . She has always wanted to write ( don 't most authors say that ? ) , and particularly enjoys creating stories about monsters - vampires , werewolves , and even the real - life monsters that populate her romantic suspense stories . Cynthia 's foreign sales for her books include translations to Japan , Germany , Thailand , Greece , and Brazil . ( Back in the day … ) Cynthia graduated summa cum laude from the University of South Alabama where she studied Sociology ( because people interest her ) and Communication ( because she likes to write about said people ) . Cynthia has worked as a college admissions counselor , a teacher , and as an editor . But now , Cynthia is thrilled to be spending her days making up stories . from war , Spencer Lockhart returns home to claim his title and right the wrong his cousin perpetrated upon Evelyn Cross . In need of a wife , his marrying her is a small price to pay for duty . But when he meets her , the fiery chit is not what he expects to find in a ruined lady . As desire flares hotly between them , honor is the last thing on his mind . . Every time I get a chance to read from Sophie Jordan I find myself in for one hell of a ride of a story . I always know that it will be easy to read and I will be thoroughly entertained . Even though I enjoyed this one , there was just something I felt was missing . It was very easy and a quick read , which is the norm for Jordan 's book . But I felt like there wasn 't much of a " romance " , I wish there had been a bit more development between the couple . The end seemed a bit rushed , however I would slightly recommend this , just it wouldn 't be at the top of my list of favorites of this author . Evie is one of the three girls where they formed a friendship at the Penwhich school for girls , which was misery in and of itself . Her father sent her there when she was a girl . Now after returning from Barbados , where she was almost attacked and raped , she knows that she will have to sacrifice everything for her sister , who is the only one in her family that loves her . When her sister Linnie gives birth to a son , with the father a soldier and serving elsewhere , she is about to lose her child . So Evie claims the child as her own , and is to be taken to the countryside and will claim to be a widow . Four years have passed since , and Nicholas , she considers to be her own , especially since Linnie died shortly after giving birth . Then she meets Spencer Lockhart , who claims to be the cousin of Nicholas ' father and Linnie 's lover . AT first she is resistant to him , but when he proposes marriage and a life of security and opportunity for her son , she is more than willing . At first she is afraid of his reaction to the truth , but the lie starts to eat away at her , and when her feelings for him start to slowly change into love , she knows she must tell him everything . But she wonders when the truth comes out will he still care about her , or will she lost him completely ? Spencer has retired from the army , since his brothers death , he knows it is up to him to take responsibility to the title that rests on his shoulders . He is still grieving for his cousin who was his close friend , and has dreamed for years of " Linnie " . Spencer is a bit arrogant , very sexual , and I had a hard time liking him for most of the book , until the end , he started to become a bit likable . So he was not my favorite , especially in his treatment of Evie , who I think has a heart of gold . Evie , has sacrificed everything for her family , and they still treat her like dirt . Spencer isn 't much different , its all about sex for him , whereas Evie wishes for something more in their relationship . I loved how strong willed she is , and doesn 't back down and demands respect for herself . . . I love seeing her develop some good backbone especially to her parents in the end . ( they totally deserved it ) . I found something lacking in their relationship . Overall this was my least favorite of Sophie Jordan so far . I was very surprised that I didn 't like it more . I found it to be a bit brutal for Jordan 's style . I didn 't really like it all that much , there were some good factors involved , but I felt like there was some substance missing from it . I felt like there could have been more development in their relationship , and I didn 't see how they went from sex and hating each other , to madly in love . It just didn 't fit for me completely . Disappointed , but plan on reading more from this author , since I know I have just loved her other books . cannot refuse . She must take his hand in marriage and pay him back in full : one night of passion for each stolen pearl . But when Callie surrenders to his desires - night after wicked night - he awakens something deep inside of her . Something powerful and passionate . Like a fairy tale My Review I do love a good Beauty and the Beast theme like story , and this one I would put at the top of my list of favorites . Its the type of story that instantly draws you in and its pretty hard to put down . I do love a story that is easy to get into , but difficult to let go of . This is the first that I have read from this author . I saw the cover and read the blurb , and with no regrets picked it up , knowing I would probably regret it if I didn 't . When She Said I Do is pretty close to the beauty and the beast fairy tale . But it also has its own unique tale that sets it apart as well . When Callie along with her parents and her brother end up nearly drowning in the river when their carriage goes down , they find a huge mansion that she assumes is abandoned . When she gets the rest of her family settled , dressed in only her underclothes , she decides to explore a bit . She finds every room abandoned , and then she comes across a magnificent pearl necklace , and then gets caught red handed by a big man , with half of his face scarred . Caught in a compromising position , her brother and the Mr . Ren Porter end up in a duel and then Callie claims that they will be married . So Callie finds herself married and in a agreement with Mr . Porter , one in which she will share his bed for each stolen pearl . Callie is instantly drawn into this game of seduction , where Ren teaches her the true meaning of desire and surrender . What Callie doesn 't expect is to find herself falling in love with her husband , one who protects his heart with a iron shield . It will take more than Callie ever expected to melt the iron around his heart , and to keep him forever . Ren has recently recovered from a near fatal attack , where he was punctured in the chest , and as such was told that he will die soon from the injuries . As a spy for his country , he has retired , and doesn 't trust anyone , at least until Callie comes along . When he finds Callie , a beautiful siren , who ironically ends up as his wife , he is determined to keep her as long as he possibly can . Ren is a very virile and alpha type male . He is very proud and can be paranoid at times , considering his previous life . I found myself really enjoy the type of character Ren turned out to be . He just made me want to melt . Callie is a very unique heroine . She isn 't all that fearful of her new husband , despite his commanding presence and his scars , she starts to see beneath the surface . I loved how she never treats him less because of what has happened to her . I admired her creativity in trying to gain Ren 's trust , and making the mansion into a home . There is such a strong intimate connection that is very intense at times . You might need a fan to cool ya down a bit at times during this story . Overall I found this story to be a delight and a very sensual take on Beauty and the Beast . I have to say for the first time reading this author , I am already going to add the rest of her books on my wish list , I loved her that much ! ! ! There is such a delightful mix of sensuality and witty humor that captivates the reader . Its unconventional at times , but it has a certain uniqueness that only adds to the wonderfully crafted tale of passion , adventure , intrigue and a tender love story that is bound to steal your heart , that will make anyone believe in a happily ever after . Lusting for Covers is a meme found on TBQ so come and join in on this fun meme ! ! ! 1 - Take the graphic ( left ) to use on your post . Remember to give credit to the original host ( TBQ ) . 2 - Choose your own book cover that you 've fallen in " lust " with in the past week . It can be new , old , a reprint , or even a book that is not yet out - - it 's all up to you ! If you find a cover that catches your eye , then showcase it on your blog , and let others see the pretty covers out there . 3 - Copy the direct link to your own L4C post into the comment section on my post ( when in doubt , use this link and then scroll down to find the post ) , and allow others to come and see what you picked ! ( OPTIONAL ) : 4 - Besides posting the picture of the book cover you chose , it 's nice to provide the book summary , title , author , or a website link for the book . It 's not required , but it can help you readers ' to add more books to their own list ! A brief " Why I choose this cover " is also appreciated , but not required scholar Genevieve Barrett knows how to keep a secret . Her identity as the author of her father 's academic articles has always been her greatest deception - until a charming housebreaker tries to steal the mysterious Harmsworth Jewel from her . She doesn 't reveal that she recognizes her father 's devastatingly handsome new student as the thief himself . For Genevieve , this will be the most seductive secret of all . . . To Catch A ThiefSir Richard Harmsworth has been living a lie , maintaining a rakish façade to show society that he doesn 't care about his status as a bastard . Yet long haunted by his unknown father 's identity , Richard believes the Harmsworth Jewel will confirm his claim as the rightful heir . But when Richard sets out to seduce the bookworm who possesses the stone , he instead falls for its beautiful owner . But even as she steals Richard 's heart , Genevieve will be in greater danger than her coveted treasure . . and a man she 's forbidden to acknowledge . But when Jack begins a breathtaking seduction , Sophie can barely resist . Jack never imagined that the daughter of his family 's mortal enemy would awaken such fierce passion within him - until one unforgettable kiss changes his mind forever . Soon , Jack is hell - bent on winning Sophie 's hand , going so far as to abduct her to save her from marrying a rival nobleman . Determined to woo Sophie and her unyielding parents , Jack is faced with the one decision he 'd sworn never to make . The secret heir to a prince , Jack has spurned his royal heritage for years . . . but for Sophie he 'll When I had been given the ARC by Edelweiss and Ballantine Books , I was thrilled because even though I haven 't read this author in a long while , I have enjoyed her in the past . I had also read some very positive reviews , that made me excited to read this story . It is definitely a bit more intense than I expected . It is based on the tale of Romeo and Juliet . . . only this time it actually has a happy ending ( which is a requirement for any book I read ) But this couple does have a bit of a bumpy road before they get to the roses and daisies . From the beginning it starts out with Jack , who is known as a rake , but is also part of a family that is practically at war with Sophie 's family . Jack 's cousin , is on a mission to convince him that Sophie is his mate and as such he needs to pursue her . At first he thinks she is crazy , but there is a certain connection from their first kiss , at a masquerade ball , where Sophie 's passions are awakened and desire for a man that should be her enemy , is far from it . Sophie has a duty to her parents , who are financially struggling if it wasn 't for her aunt . So a marriage proposal from a titled lord is what her father desires for her . But when Jack consistently pursues her ina way that she finds it hard to resist . . . from Jack climbing up the wall to her room , to meeting in secret for sensual rendezvous , she knows that she is in trouble of falling hard for him , especially when she knows that it isn 't possible to have a future with him . Her father blames the Wilde 's for quite a bit , and has hardened his heart . So Jack is forced to take desperate measures when Sophie finds herself engaged to a man that would bore her to tears . Now Sophie will have to decide what is more important : her obligation to her family , or her love and passion with Jack . Jack is very unlike most heroes you usually see . Even though he is rumored to be a rake , he is far from it . He is very protective of others , has many vulnerabilities and there is so much depth to Jack , I fell in love with him from the beginning , I so wish I could have traded places with Sophie , I would love to have Jack as my own - - - sexy , protective , loyal , involved in helping others in need , and a fighter for the woman he loves . Jack isn 't resistant to love like most heroes of this era , he is willing to give their relationship a fighting chance to succeed . Sophie I found to be very likable , even if she could have had a bit more spin when it came to Jack . But I understood her reasons , her family is everything to her . I admired her devotion to them and her desire to sacrifice for them , but it was fun seeing her change into a fighter for both her family and the man she loves . It was interesting to see the slow change in her , and I loved seeing the development in both Jack and Sophie . There was so much depth to these characters , and seeing the side characters added to the story in a delightful way . There were so many things that I liked about this story , and I can 't think of anything major that I didn 't like . There was so much to LOVER BE MINE that made for a strong and sensational story . . . that reminded me of why I love romance novels so much . Even though I haven 't read the first one in the series , I didn 't feel lost or anything , it was easy to catch on , and I wasn 't ever lost . The plot was fun and I enjoyed how it followed the play of Romeo and Juliet - - - even the whole climbing up the tower to talk to Sophie - I do love a hero who has more stubbornness than sense - - makes it more exciting and unique . I love the wide variety of emotions that were displayed through the story , that only made it more vivid and almost real . Such a powerful driven story of passion , love and deep emotion that will blow you away ! ! ! First Line Her beauty held a uncommon allure , much to his regret . Favorite Quote " Don 't go yet , " The intensity in his tone surprised even him . " I must . " When she hesitated , he rose to his feet . As he gazed down at her , those lovely blue eyes locked with his again and something primitive arced between them . Something heated and alive . Shivering , she took a step backward , but Jack tightened his fingers around hers , his resolve renewed . If this one kiss would determine his fate , he intended to make it unforgettable . My Grade 5 Blossoms On My Wishlist is a fun weekly event hosted by Book Chick City and runs every Saturday . It 's where I list all the books I desperately want but haven 't actually bought yet . They can be old , new or forthcoming . she was just a girl when they first met , Caroline Tolbertson 's infatuation with David Cameron remains undimmed . Now fate has brought the handsome Scotsman back to Brighton for what promises to be an unforgettable summer . Soon , Caroline will have to choose a husband , but for now she is free to indulge her curiosity in things of a passionate nature . That is , if David will agree to teach her . Past mistakes have convinced David he 'll make a terrible husband , though he 'll gladly help the unconventional Caroline find a suitor . Unfortunately , she has something more scandalous in mind . As the contenders for her hand begin to line up , her future seems assured … provided David can do the honorable thing and let them have her . his dying enemy to Scottish soil . But the discovery that the vanished child perished in infancy seventeen years earlier threatens Leith 's mission - - unless he can fool the ailing chieftain with a beautiful impostor . An Unspoiled Beauty At first , lovely and spirited Rose Gunther is incensed by the arrogant Scotsman who whisks her away from her English convent . But protest as she might , Rose is helpless to resist the handsome warrior - - whose sensuous touch promises a different kind of heaven . And soon even a perilous deception seems but a small price to pay to savor fully the sweet , forbidden nectar of Leith 's love . Hadley has managed her family 's estate for years . So why can 't she request her own dowry ? She 'll have to go to London herself and knock some sense into the men interfering in her life . With the nonsense she 's less to worry about … Jack Valentine , third son of the famous Duchess of Love , is through being pursued by pushy young ladies . One particularly determined miss has run him out of his own house party . Luckily the inn has one bed left - Jack just has to share with a rather entertaining red - headed youth . Perhaps the two of them should ride to London together . It will make a pleasant escape from his mother 's matchmaking melodrama ! by her stepmother to attend a ball , Kate meets a prince . . . and decides he 's anything but charming . A clash of wits and wills ensues , but they both know their irresistible attraction will lead nowhere . For Gabriel is promised to another woman - a princess whose hand in marriage will fulfill his ruthless ambitions . Gabriel likes his fiancée , which is a welcome turn of events , but he doesn 't love her . Obviously , he should be wooing his bride - to - be , not the witty , impoverished beauty who refuses to fawn over him . Godmothers a happily ever after . Unless a prince throws away everything that makes him noble . . . Unless a dowry of an unruly heart trumps a fortune . . . Unless one kiss at the stroke of midnight changes everything . Just so you are all aware , all of the pictures found on my blog come from Library Thing , Goodreads , Amazon , FictiondB , and FanPop . If there is a picture on my blog that shouldn 't be on here due to permission rights just let me know and I will take it off immediately . Thank you ! All the books that I review are either ones I have bought , or ones I borrow from the Library . All reviews are my honest opinion . My Grading System 5 Blossoms - Excellent well written story , that keeps you entertained and turning the pages as fast as you can read them . Definitely a keeper and a re - read ! ! ! 4 Blossoms - A Genuine read , with a strong story line , and considerable description of the characters to go along with it . Not a favorite , but a story not to regret reading . 3 Blossoms - A standard written story , with average description of characters and scenes of events . Nothing to distinct or memorable , but a pleasant read . But there is still the question in one 's mind of " Shouldn 't there be something more ? " 2 Blossoms - A poor written plot and characters . Nothing much in the story seems to entice the reader for me , apart from a few scenes . There is a lot to be desires in this one ! 1 Blossom - The reader has to force themselves to get through the whole book . Its a chore rather than a pleasure . Poor plot , poor described characters and nothing to really captivate the readers attention . I am 27 years old , I am a huge fan of romance ! ! Its my favorite thing . I do like to scrapbook , hike , travel , and hang out with friends and family , I am single , but still looking for the Mr Addict of romance . View my complete profile
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Renaissance Man and Glasgow Girl had been invited to a friend 's wedding and asked me to come spend the day with Mousey . Of course , this is a thrilling opportunity for grandparent / grandchild bonding and I eagerly assented . Since my vision is so poor , and not feeling entirely secure in my ability to spot Mousey 's tendency to cram any and all found objects into her mouth , I asked Rumpole to spend the day as part of a babysitting tag - team . He jumped at the opportunity . He insisted that we had to be freshly washed and bathed for the occasion and ensured we arrived on time for our day with the wee one . RM , GG and a friend of theirs from Nanaimo , Pete , were milling about their house as we arrived . Mousey greeted us at the front door , arms upraised to be picked up . I scooped her up , whereupon she whipped my glasses off my face and tried them on herself , chuckling . Rumpole guided me into the living room , toward an arm - chair and cautioned " Watch your eyes , SW , she 'll poke them out ! " . Mousey made several awkward attempts to restore the glasses to my face and I observed that Glasgow Girl was dressed in a lovely summer frock while the two young men wore cut - off jeans and tee - shirts . " Is there a dressed - down look for males at this wedding ? " I asked , mystified . Pete grinned and said , " you 're thinking it is a ' surfer themed do ' , I bet . Heidi ( his wife ) is on her way on the ferry bringing my flashy duds . Renaissance Man has to drive us all first to his workplace to put on his ' funeral suit ' , then we 'll go on to the wedding . " I glanced over at Rumpole . He was rolling his eyes , but said nothing , then . Glasgow Girl brought over to me jars of what Mousey was to eat later , held them close to my face so I could discern the labels . " She won 't eat a lot of these , but let her eat until she 's had enough " she said . " Also , she will be ready to go down for her first nap in the next half - hour " . Oo - kay , Rumpole and I would be ready and willing to roll with anything that might transpire ! The young people left , without undue fuss , and Mousey proceeded to parade her stuffed toys , one by one , in front of Rumpole . The pile of vari - coloured fake - fur creatures grew , on his lap and by his feet . She deigned to drop a goofy - looking fairy on my lap , but the cuddly stuff she reserved for Grandpa . ( What was I ? Chopped liver ? ) Rumpole looked like a potentate surrounded by odd - looking sycophants and sprawled petitioners ; he had a most bemused expression on his face . I twirled the Fairy by her long skinny arms and with squeaky sounds asked , " Fairy wants to see Tigger . Mousey , bring Tigger here " . She dug around on Rumpole 's lap , spied Tigger 's orange leg , unearthed him from the jumble and brought him over to my lap . She raised her arms in the pick - me - up gesture . Once on the couch beside me , she snuggled up and we played ' Talking Creatures ' . After a while she rubbed her little head against my breast , climbed up on my lap , stuck three fingers into her mouth and cuddled against my shoulder . " Nap time , I think " , I announced to Mousey and Rumpole . " Give Grandpa a cuddle " . She curled herself into his shoulder and absentmindedly fingered his beard . I stuffed Tigger under my arm , lifted Mousey into my arms and headed to her bed - room . She was calm as I laid her down in her crib and tucked Tigger beside her . " Have a good nap . See you soon , " I chirped , whereupon she began to yell , quite angry , and jumped to her feet windmilling Tigger by the legs . She complained for a couple of minutes , and we sat in the living room , waiting , listening for her to either give up and lie down to rest , or escalate to a demanding tirade . She began talking to Tigger , in her baby babble , and went to sleep shortly . " Are you kidding ? It 's imperative to catch a few winks when a baby goes down for a nap , otherwise one is not in fine form for when she awakes and is ready for action , " I muttered , rolling over . " You 'd be wise to do some shut - eye yourself ! " She was chirping , chatting with Tigger . I grabbed the phone and called Martha . " You and the dog can arrive in half an hour . I 'll change the Mousey 's diaper and feed her some fruit and a bottle and we 'll be ready to go walkabout in the neighbourhood with you two " I told her . Mousey was pleased to see us again . She climbed up on Rumpole 's lap while I readied the bottle and fruit . She polished off both her bottle and the whole jar of blueberries . So much for her being a light eater , I mused , this child is a really hungry one ! She drank her bottle sprawled in Rumpole 's arms , all the meanwhile fiddling with his beard . I suggested he change her diaper . He made a face and replied " I don 't do diapers " . Off we went , she and I , for diaper change ; Rumpole buried himself in a tome . Martha and the dog arrived . Mousey , ensconced in her stroller , sun - hat on , greeted the dog with a delighted " Kitty " . The dog , a Jack Russel maniac , gave her a thorough lick all over her face , hands and legs . Mousey giggled , squirmed and squealed , " kitty kitty " . Outside the dog circled the stroller , excited to be on eye - level with a small person . We walked toward the nearby golf course . Martha is convinced that mousey calls every creature not human Kitty , or even that Kitty might be her word for " nice " . She taught Mousey to say " woof " on this walk , and quickly Mousey began to make woofing sounds whenever the dog came up to lick her toes . We walked through the neighbourhood . Every house we passed where there was a resident dog , doggish exchanges between the unseen behind - hedges mutt and Martha 's maniac announced our passage . Mousey accompanied with her own intermittent " woofs " . We strolled to a neighbouring park , inspected the neighbourhood and encouraged Mousey to handle the leaves on shrubbery . We pointed out flowers which she fingerd with an unexpected delicacy . I was tempted to take her out of the stroller and let her experience grass under her feet , but Martha , aware of Mouseys tendency to scream loudly whenever in contact with grass , dissuaded me from that attempt . " We want to end our walkabout on a positive note - not with tears " she cautioned . We were getting hot and thirsty , and so headed back to the house . Once back home , we repaired to the back porch with glasses , a sippy - cup full of cold water , and a bowl of water for the dog . Mousey , seated in her swing , sipped her water and watched the dog cavorting on the grass . Rumpole came out and demanded that we bring her inside where it was cool . We were in the shade on the porch , quite comfortable , so explained to him that it did a child good to be outside , listen to the birds chattering in the shrubbery and watch the leaves moving in the slight breeze . He ducked back inside , muttering about Mousey being overexposed to reflected light . We ignored him and sat chatting amiably amongst ourselves , sipping our cold water . A couple of blocks away . a train went by , sounded its horn and chugged along in its rhythmic way . We tooted along and made chugging sounds ; Mousey made ' wo - woo - woo ' noises . We mimicked bird - sounds and said " shhh , listen ! Birds ! " . Mousey craned her neck and listened , her eyes large round dark buttons . A bird coasted through the yard , she spied it and uttered an ' oooh ' . She swung back and forth in her swing , smiled , looked about even at such prosaic details as the beam supporting the porch roof over her head , which she studied in earnest . It was such a peaceful feeling , just observing her reaction to everything around her ! Martha , ready to move on to the rest of her day , said her goodbyes . Mousey and I walked her to the front door , where the dog gave Mousey an effusive and wet goodbye . ( Glasgow Girl would have been horrified by the amount of dog gob her child had been anointed with today ! ) Mousey went to the bookshelves next and brought our several board books . She gave one to Rumpole to read and brought the others to me . We curled up on the couch and read " Gossie and Gertie " at length . She was fascinated by the red and blue coloured boots worn by these two little geese , and most interested in the double - page spread of the two geese spying on a sheep . She pointed at the sheep when I said ' sheep ' , then pointed at the geese and waited for what I would name them . Shortly , she tossed this book aside and grabbed the board - book about the duck and the frog . I said the word , ' frog ' . She pointed her index finger at the frog . I next tried the word , ' duck ' ; she pointed at the duck . Rumpole , watching us , observed " GG and RM are reading with this little one a lot , eh ? She 's a smart one ! " ( Being keen readers , we were so pleased at this early conditioning of our granddaughter ! ) Mousey decided that she 'd had enough of us for now , slid off the couch and went into her room to find other things to do . She wrestled her play - house from its perch onto the floor , began to poke about exploring the rooms and furniture , chattering to herself in the meanwhile . After a bit , she came to the door and sent me an expectant look , as in ' well , are you coming to play with me ? ' I complied and we sprawled on the floor playing with the little people who lived in that house , put them in , took them out , discussed what they did in each room . Mousey made what seemed comments , although I could not readily descipher what exactly she said . We played for a long time with the house . Then she wanted to play with her music box . We did and I sang along as she danced around . She went in the living room to bring Rumpole along to dance . I hear him say to her , " Grandpa doesn 't dance , sweetie . " She came back into the bedroom where she danced some more , and I sang some more . When she lost interest I took her back into the living room and we took all the stuffed toys from around Rumpole who was nose - deep in his book , and walked them back onto their places on the couch in her bedroom . She enjoyed this game ! ( Early indoctrination into house - keeping ? One can never start too early ! ) She went off to see Rumpole . Recently , she has been going around pointing at things and asking ' sdat ? ' She pointed at his book and asked " sdat ? " " Book , " he said as he turned it about for her . She looked at the photo of the author on the back cover . He was an older man with a short white beard . She looked at the man in the picture , then looked at Rumpole , then pointed at the man in the picture and announced " you ! " She did this several times to make sure he understood what she said . Rumpole was amazed that she believed the man in the photo looked like him . " She 's a smart one ! " he announced with great pride . She put her little arms in the air , a signal for him to pick her up in his arms . He gathered her up and stood up to take her outside . " Let 's go and see what 's up out there ? " he suggested . Off we trooped outside . Mousey walked about , found a dead moth and brought it over to him , visited the potted petunias , hung off the patio railing and peeked between the slats , traced the passage of ants on the patio floor softly saying ' kitty , kitty ' . She next wanted up in her swing , and Rumpole strapped her in and swung her back and forth . She giggled and said ' whee , whoo ' . Every time the swing slowed , she thrust her chubby arms toward him and indicated the need for more pushes . He got tired after a short while and asked me to take my turn pushing . I carried on ; he went back inside ; Mousey 's eyes drooped , she stuck three fingers into her mouth , her little head sagged and she went to sleep . I kept up the motion and she slept . Rumpole brought my journal to me , and I made notes about certain thoughts I have been having lately about how art , commodified , can be made more available as an experience to all people , not just ones with ample financial means . This occupied me for the time Mousey napped in her swing . I 'd give the swing an occasional push and carried on writing . When she awoke , I figured she might be a bit peckish , so off we went into the house to prepare dinner and a bottle . She looked quite intent as she eyed my preparations of mashed beef stroganoff - disgusting looking stuff . As soon as she was in the high chair she opened her mouth wide like a little bird waiting for food to be dropped into its mouth . There is no need to coax this little one to eat , in between bites she does the birdie mouth opening , and woe betide the slow feeder ! She polished off the mush , and wanted more . I hunted around in the fridge for more , found it , heated it and resumed shoveling it into her waiting maw . When it was all gone , I waved the bottle at her and she reached out for it . I unstrapped her from the high chair and deposited her in Rumpole 's lap where she lounged sucking down the bottle as if desparate and thirsty . Afterward , we wiped her face , something she loathes and tries to squirm away from . Rumpole said , " She smells funny , you 'd better check her diaper ! " ( Not volunteering or anything ! ) Away we went for the diaper change , and then to more playtime in her room . We had the toys talking to each other , then we listened to some music and sang and danced along , shortly after which Mousey plopped down onto her little armchair clutching her sock - monkey . After a short sit - down , she recouped , ignored me and went off to empty her large chest . I was summarily dismissed , went off to the living room and collapsed on the couch . Mousey closed the door to her room ; a need for privacy perhaps , or up to no good . She was very quiet for several minutes . This I remember as not a very good sign ; she was probably up to something she wanted us to not know about . I sneaked to take a look . She was busy unloading the hamper of dirty clothes and spreading them about on the floor . " Mousey ! I see you ! " I called through the door ; she pushed it shut from the other side . I waited until she went away from the door , opened it a crack . She jumped in surprise and giggled , caught with several dirty washcloths in her hand . I walked in and we made a game of putting the dirty clothes back into the hamper , taking turns , picking up one thing and then depositing it in the correct spot . Meanwhile , Rumpole was still avidly reading his book . " Let 's take the Mouse outside and do a little contact desensitization with the grass " I suggested . He took her up in his arms and walked outside . I followed . At the edge of the grass I made a huge show of tossing off my sandals , stepped on the grass barefoot and cavorted around while making happy sounds . Rumpole deposited Mousey on the grass , took off his sandals and made great show of enjoyment of grass under his feet . She made a series of amazing faces ranging from surprise to unsureness to disgust and rage and began howling . He went and sat down near her . She made a dive for his legs and clawed her way up his body , all the while clamped onto his shirt . She raised her little feet , looked back to check they were clear of the offending grass and clambered to put a safe distance between her and that horrid stuff . I played around on the grass , dragged my feet along , looked at the bottom of my foot to see if it was all right , mucked about happily . Rumpole wiggled his toes in the grass . Mousey watched carefully , but was not convinced . He put her back down and she no longer howled , but scrambled up onto his lap in desperate haste . I sat down near them , and we just lolled about there awhile . When we figured she had had enough grass time , we took her and gave her a good swing and she was quite happy . She started chewing on the straps of the swing . " Is she hungry again ? " asked Rumpole ? I went inside and prepared a dessert of fruit and Pablum , brought it outside . As soon as Mousey spied the spoon and bowl she made the wide - open - mouth birdie gesture . We stopped the swing and Rumpole fed her . She wolfed down the whole bowl and wanted more . I brought her more , she polished it all off and still wanted a refill . After I brought the refill she ate almost all of that , until she clamped her mouth shut , turned away from the spoon . So Rumpole finished off the bowl , making faces all the while . " How can she like this stuff " he asked , " It 's got a disgusting texture . " That didn 't stop him from scraping the bowl clean ! " She 's sticky now , SW . You ' llneed to wipe her off ! " he ordered . " No , it 's bath - time " I replied , extricated her from the swing and carried her messyness of to the bathroom . Once the bath was ready , Mousey was eager to shuck her clothes and be placed inside . She grabbed her floating toys , chewed them squeaked them , tossed them about in the water and splashed about . It 's odd how she hates to have her face wiped with wet cloths after eating , but she doesn 't mind at all having water ladelled from the top of her head and having it run down her face and body . And she enjoys having her hair washed . Go figure ! After she splashed enough water on me , we let the water drain out from the tub and she watched the spiralling flow down the drain . We went back to Grandpa , Mousey snug and swaddled in a big soft bath towel . She peeked out at him from within the folds and giggled when deposited in his lap . They cuddled and he dried her off . We put diapers and pajamas on her and let her traipse around in the living room . She wandered off to get a book to read . We curled up on the couch and were reading when we heard the front door open . " Door " , Mousey said as she slid off the couch and took off toward the front door . Her mother and father were there . She raised her little arms to be picked up . Renaissance Man asked how she had been . We said in unison , " great fun ! " Glasgow Girl asked if she ate well . " She was voracious and wanted more and more food " I replied . As we were saying our goodbyes at the front door , Mousey padded about wanting both Rumpole and me to pick her up for cuddles . He handed her off to her father , and we walked out the door saying goodbye . She set off a huge wail , and we heard her parents trying to shush her as we were walking to the car . Rumpole was quite pleased to hear Mousey cry as we went off . " I think she had a good time with us , don 't you ? " he inquired . " I like to know she will miss us ! " joefelso Says : August 7 , 2007 at 1 : 57 pm | Reply Trust a child to make you see the world afresh . I especially enjoyed the passages describing the potentate of stuffed animals and the little details as being the beam over Mousey 's head . We can 't - yet , anyway - go into the mind of a child , but you 've helped me imagine it . Thanks ! - D suburbanlife Says : August 7 , 2007 at 3 : 16 pm | Reply D - as you are a parent yourself , you have spent many hours with your children trying to vicariously experiencing and seeing , feeling as they do . Perception in pre - verbal infants must be of a wonderful sort , I 'd love to be able to still have fresh perceptions without any preconceptions . Thanks for your comment . G nkateus Says : January 23 , 2008 at 3 : 44 am | Reply Your wonderful description of a day with a grand - baby prompted me to share this story ( Grandmas have that right , eh ? ) . Instead of a manic Jack Russel terrier , we have a 90 - pound German shepherd who dotes on children . My youngest granddaughter , a tiny but amazingly bold and ' tough ' little girl had just crawled out of bed in the nursery , leaving a tangled mess of bedding trailing behind her and flopped onto the living room couch . The very happy shepherd in typical GS fashion ' mouthed ' the child , carefully but definitely placing her very toothy touch over the small arm . Quietly but with a distinctly firm voice , the baby announced , " I am NOT a chew toy . " ( For all you non - GS owners , the dog and children are never unattended by an adult , even though this is a very stable and socialized female who actually would like to sleep in bed with the children if permitted . )
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This was a good quick read to help get me into the Christmas mood . Wynn and Zane have been getting to know each other over the past 5 years . They each have been slowly falling in love but neither are brave enough to tell the other . Will failed relationships be the turning point for them ? As fall blankets the Pumpkinvine Trail with leaves of brown , gold , and orange , a local Amish man is found dead on the path . The only clues to the murderer 's identity point in two very different directions - toward the local survivalist group and toward the Amish Village - specifically the village 's knitting shop , The Cat 's Meow . The police call in a federal investigator , and he quickly puts everyone on the suspect list . Amber Bowman and Hannah Troyer know who isn 't guilty - they know this community down to the last buggy , but can find the guilty party before someone else is in danger ? While Hannah helps Amber solve the mystery , she and Jesse Miller continue courting . But when Jesse 's prodigal brother returns to their farm , Jesse becomes distracted by family troubles . He and Hannah will have to overcome the tension in order to keep their relationship alive . And Amber and Hannah will need to work quickly to solve the murder mystery and bring harmony back to the Amish community . Another good book . I like the perspective that Vannetta Chapman gave on the Amish way of life . There were several examples of where the Amish would chose to not get into a fight . Something we should all try harder to do . They all pitch in to help anyone or family that needs it . Another good example for the rest of us . Spirited PJ McKinley has the touch when it comes to food . Her dream of opening her own restaurant is just one building short of reality . So when a Chapel Springs resident offers her beloved ancestral home to the applicant with the best plan for the house , PJ believes it 's a contest she was meant to win . Contractor Cole Evans is confident , professional , and swoon - worthy - but this former foster kid knows his life could have turned out very differently . When Cole discovers the contest , he believes his home for foster kids in transition has found its saving grace . All he has to do is convince the owner that an out - of - towner with a not - for - profit enterprise is good for the community . But when the eccentric philanthropist sees PJ and Cole 's proposals , she makes an unexpected decision : the pair will share the house for a year to show what their ideas are made of . Now , with Cole and the foster kids upstairs and PJ and the restaurant below , day - to - day life has turned into out - and - out competition - with some seriously flirtatious hallway encounters on the side . Turns out in this competition , it 's not just the house on the line , it 's their hearts . PJ and Cole are competing to win the ancestral home in Chapel Springs . PJ wants to turn the home into an upscale restaurant and bed and breakfast while Cole wants to use the house as a home for foster kids that have aged out of the foster system . When the home owner isn 't able to decide who to wins the contest she gives them each a level in the home and a year to put their ideas into action . Can they live in the same house without killing each other ? Two decades into her calling at a New Mexico monastery , Sister Evangeline Divine ( pronounced Diveen ) breaks her daily routine when a police officer appears , carrying a message from her father . Sister Eve is no stranger to the law , having grown up with a police captain turned private detective . She 's seen her fair share of crime - and knows a thing or two about solving mysteries . This is a very good book that pulls you in from the beginning . I could relate to Sister Eve because I 've found myself doing a job that wasn 't what I wanted to do for the rest of my life . Who hasn 't ? Another reason is don 't we all have family that we struggle to get along with ? Sister Eve begins to relish her time with her father and the private investigative work her father does . Kimberly Welch , widowed mother of Tara , a rebellious fifteen - year - old , has reached the end of her finances and nearly the end of her rope . She and Tara come to King 's Meadow to try to piece their lives back together again . Kimberly has no intention of become involved with the residents of this remote mountain community and certainly not with any man . What a good book this was . Kimberly and Tara moved to King 's Meadow to start over again . Kimberly doesn 't want to be in a ranching community because she loves city life . Tara has always loved horses but living in the city she wasn 't ever able to have one . When they moved to King 's Meadow she has a horse given to her . Since Tara 's not ever been on a horse Kimberly askes Chet Leonard to give her lessons . The only problem is Kimberly doesn 't have a job and can 't pay for the lessons . Can they work out an agreement that works for everyone involved ? Raptor 's communications expert , Staff Sergeant Brian " Hawk " Bledsoe is struggling with his inner demons , leaving him on the verge of an other than honorable " discharge . Plagued with corrupted intel , Raptor team continues to track down the terrorist playing chess with their lives . Afghan pilot Fekiria Haidary is devastated when a systems glitch on her aircraft forces a weapons launch on a safe target . And when the deadly bombing separates Brian from the team , he must make an impossible choice : save his brothers - in - arms , or save the woman and children depending on him to survive a brutal snowstorm . The second book in The Quiet Professionals series is another great book . Sergeant Brian " Hawk " is facing a dishonorable discharge because he can 't control his temper . In a streak of bad luck he obeys a direct order to stand down and 2 officers are killed as he watches . This takes a huge toll on him . When he returns to his team his bad luck continues . He gets trapped with a female pilot and her friend who teaches 4 young girls . Hawk and the women end up running for their lives in a deadly blizzard . Will they make it out alive ? This is the first book I 've read by Katie Ganshert and it was a good book . Emma 's dad doesn 't have much time left . While he and her mom are out of town Emma finds her dad 's bucket list and decides she can help to mark one off his list . Her long time friend offers to help her . Will everything go as planned ? Alyssa Pennington dated Brendan Myers for three years before she accepted his proposal . For almost a year , Alyssa 's friends and family helped her plan a lovely wedding to take place in the church she 'd grown up in . It was the happiest day of her life when she walked down the aisle to be united with the man of her dreams . But when Brendan left her at the altar , Alyssa was consumed by humiliation , embarrassment , and a broken heart that wouldn 't allow her to trust anyone . Especially Brendan . Brendan Myers knows he will spend the rest of his life regretting what he did to Alyssa , the only woman he 's ever loved . Without her , his life is empty . In one fateful moment , he 'd panicked , destroyed their future , and ruined everything . Now he plans to win her back . Another quick read but well worth the time . Alyssa and Brendan have planned their wedding for almost a year . At the very last minute Brendan walks away . He regrets it the next day . For the next few months Brendan does everything he can to win Alyssa back . Will she ever change her mind ? Having celebrated the big 3 - 0 by ending a relationship , Sadie is tired of romantic relationships - by - text . The only man she knows willing to put down his iPhone and have face - to - face conversations with her is Erik . It 's time to put a 21st - century twist on the Sadie Hawkins ' tradition of a woman going after her man . He may not be the hero of her romantic dreams , but she can propose to Erik and achieve some sort of happily ever after with her best friend . Erik is good at two things : his freelance job and maintaining casual , no - one - gets - hurt relationships with women . What is Sadie thinking , proposing to him ? This is marriage - not a middle school dance . Erik decides to show Sadie what romance looks like when the man takes the lead . And while he 's at it , he 'll prove just how wrong they are for each other . But when he realizes he 's fallen for her , can Erik convince Sadie his just - for - fun dates were the prelude to " ' til death do us part " How come we all can 't marry our best friend ? Sadie doesn 't seem to think it would work despite wanting to be more than friends with Erik . What Sadie doesn 't want to admit is change is good . Can Erik break down her wall ? This is the first book about the Amish I 've read . I wasn 't sure what to expect . Micah has been writing to Zach since they were in fifth grade . They 're both 18 now and want to meet face to face . The problem is that Zach thinks Micah is a boy . When Zach invites Micah to send a few days over spring bread with him on his farm she takes him up on his offer and dresses like a boy . She revels her secret and not surprisingly is not warmly welcomed by this family . She does win his Dad over by helping him plant corn . Zach 's Mom is another story . The more time Micah spends on the farm with Zach the more she finds out he 's not happy being a farmer . When she finally gets a ride home Zach goes along . He then finds out that being " English " isn 't all he thought it would be . He now has to figure out if he wants to go back home and farm or not . All Annie Price has ever wanted is a place to call home . Growing up in the foster care system , that dream seemed far away , but now Annie 's dream may be coming true . A friend she met in an online book group wants to retire and has offered Annie a fresh start managing her little bookstore . Believing the opportunity is an answer to prayer , Annie packs her suitcase and moves to Red Leaf , Wisconsin . The residents of Red Leaf welcome Annie into the fold . . . everyone except the bookstore owner 's son , Jesse Kent . But Annie refuses to let the handsome deputy keep her from embracing her new home with open arms . She even volunteers to help the local historical society refurbish an old church and agrees to be the " bride " for a special reenactment celebrating the museum 's open house . Jesse Kent can 't believe his mother has handed the keys to her business over to a woman she met on the Internet . Annie 's beautiful , of course , and smart as a whip , but what do they really know about her , anyway ? What if she 's come to their town just for his mother 's money ? The only way to see if his suspicions about Annie Price are true is to keep a close eye on her - even if it means he has to marry her ! Planning their mock wedding will give him the chance to uncover Annie 's motive for moving to town . But as the day of the wedding approaches and secrets come to light , Jesse must face the truth . He wants Annie to be his September bride . . . for real . Annie grew up as a foster child . The only time she felt a part of a family was for a very short time . She moves to Red Leaf to find a place to call home . Everyone welcomes her but the police officer Jesse . When he finds out his Mom has hired Annie to run her bookstore he can 't believe it . And to top it off his Mom met Annie on the internet ! Can he accept Annie like the rest of the town ? After a cowboy broke her heart , Kelsey Wilcox traded in her boots for flip - flops and a bistro on the beautiful sandy beach of Corpus Christi . Two years later , still not believing in happy endings , she is about to endure a weekend of torture at her cousin 's beach wedding . Not only will she be forced to watch yet another wedding , but her great - aunt and her two best friends - aptly nicknamed " the matchmaking posse of Mule Hollow " - are coming to the wedding , and Kelsey is sure to be on their radar . Brent Corbin has had his share of bad luck with women and isn 't looking for love or looking forward to the weekend of wedding festivities as a groomsman for his friend . When he sees a commotion on the beach and what appears to be a mermaid in distress , he doesn 't hesitate to dive to the rescue . His attention is instantly captured by the woman he 's saved and it turns out they 're part of the same wedding party . But the instant Kelsey spots his soaking wet boots she wants no part of him . This was an easy read but worth it . Kelsey 's heart was broken by a cowboy and has sworn off all cowboys . When she tries to rescue her great - aunt 's dog she ends up needing a rescue . Luckley a cowboy named Brent is there to help . They both feel something for each other from the very beginning . Neither wants to admit they have feelings for the other . Posted by For three years , Kate Marshall has been grieving the loss of her husband and their four - year - old son in a boating accident . But when she spots a familiar - looking child on an escalator in the mall , she is convinced it is the son she thought was dead . With police skeptical of her story , she turns to private investigator Connor Sullivan . The former Secret Service agent is dubious but agrees to investigate . Digging into the case he discovers that the incident may have been no accident at all . But if Kate 's son is alive , someone is intent on keeping him hidden - - and may be willing to go to lethal lengths to protect a sinister secret . This is the 3rd book in the Private Justice series . I 've enjoyed each book in the series . Kate lost her son and husband 3 years ago . She moved to St . Louis for a new start and while at the mall one day sees who she thinks is her missing son . She goes to mall security and the police only to be laughed at . When she can 't get the boy off her mind she goes to a private investigator . Connor Sullivan and his collage buddies agree to investigate . Not only do they find the boy Kate and Connor find love along the way . My daughter wanted to review this book because she has the Skylanders game and more characters than I can keep up with . This comic book was perfect for her . Many of her favorite characters were included in the book . This is a perfect fit for any Skylander fan . When former national baseball star Tyler Ames suffers a career - ending injury , all he can think about is putting his life back together the way it was before . He has lost everyone he loves on his way to the big leagues . Then just when things seem to be turning around , Tyler hits rock bottom . Across the country , Tyler 's one true love Sami Dawson has moved on . A team of Angels Walking take on the mission to restore hope for Tyler , Sami , and Virginia . Can such small and seemingly insignificant actions of the unseen bring healing and redemption ? And can the words of a stranger rekindle lost love ? Every journey begins with a step . What a great book to start a new series ! Karen Kingsbury has done it again . She has a way of reminding us that God works in ways we never expect to get things done his way . Tyler , Sami , Virginia and her family all find this out in the best way possible . God brought them all together to help each one find the peace and new direction they each needed . I can 't wait until the next book in the series . My daughter loves the Angry Birds game so I got this for her . It didn 't disapoint her at all . All the characters from the game make an appearance . She 's looking forward to volume 2 . Chelsea Chambers is on her own . After a public split from her NFL superstar husband , Chelsea takes a bold step out of the limelight and behind the counter of the Higher Grounds Café , an old - fashioned coffee shop in dire need of reinvention . But when her courage , expert planning , and out - of - this - world cupcakes fail to pay the bills , this newly single mom finds herself desperate for help . Better yet , a miracle . Then a curious stranger lands at Chelsea 's door , and with him , an even curiouser string of events . Soon , customers are flocking to the Higher Grounds Café , and not just for the cupcakes and cappuccino . They 've come for the internet connection to the divine . Now the café has become the go - to place for people in search of answers to life 's biggest questions . I love Max Lucado 's fiction books . This was no exception . Chelsea tries to make it on her own by reopening her family 's coffee shop after separating from her NFL superstar husband . She doesn 't know how to run a coffee shop but she has a build in support group all round her . All she has to do is allow the support group support her . It 's a good thing God supplies Chelsea with Manny . Manny is Chelsea 's guardian angel and just what she needs . Posted by The Coach House Trailer Park is the last stop down the road of life for most of its residents . But a new girl sweeps into the neighborhood , charming them all with her wild nature , her elderberry gifts , and her outrageous laughter . What brings the mysterious Willow Goodhope of Elderberry Croft to this dead end place ? From what - or whom - is she hiding ? JANUARY BREEZE : There 's a new girl in town , and she 's breathing life into The Coach House Trailer Park , starting with the tiny cottage she christens Elderberry Croft . Kathy isn 't so sure about this wild child living across the way , with her generosity and exuberance for life . What is Willow Goodhope doing in a place like The Coach House ? FEBRUARY EMBERS : Richard and Patti Davis ' days stretch out endlessly before them , but lately , Richard has taken notice of the new neighbor in Space # 12 . Will Patti lose the only man she 's ever loved to the green - eyed earth girl ? Or will Willow steal both their hearts ? MARCH WHISPERS : Joe Sanderson believes that living simply is simply better living . He gardens , he cooks , he entertains Vivian . Everything is going just fine . . . then along comes Ms . Willow , with her whispering shadows and her elderberry pie , reminding him of what it means to be a man . APRIL SHADOWS : The Cat Lady rarely sets foot outside her trailer during the light of day . But one morning , Willow shows up at her door , knocking her perfectly - ordered world off its axis . And when the stillness is further interrupted by the Shadowman , Shelly must confront her past in order to embrace her future . MAY ENCHANTMENT : Managing The Coach House keeps Eddie busy , if not exactly fulfilled . But the new girl , with her red hair and crazy laugh , is stirring up the neighborhood . Willow 's making waves , and Eddie 's a little swept off his feet , too . When he comes face to face with the Shadowman in the middle of the night , Eddie questions everything he thought he knew about himself . JULY MADNESS : Donny Banks is trouble with a big T . Edith keeps hoping if she helps her baby out one more time , he 'll get his head on straight . But big brother Eddie has had enough . This time , Donny 's knocking on the wrong door - one that belongs to Willow - and Eddie 's having none of it . AUGUST MEMORIES : Al 's job keeps him busy during the day , and his Bud keeps him company at night . But Al is a prisoner of his past , and when one phone call changes his future , Al must choose to do the right thing . To his surprise , Willow Goodhope may just hold the key that will set him free . SEPTEMBER LONGING : Prudence loves animal prints , big hair , and red nails . She also loves her man , Carney , but is beginning to wonder if he feels the same about her . When Willow Goodhope shows up needing a friend , Prudence gets the chance to reevaluate what 's important when it comes to matters of the heart . What a great collection . Willow is one weird duck but for some reason she fits in nicely at The Coach House Trailer Park . She comes in with a bang and ends up helping everyone in the park . Her healing seems to just be a side effect . Why is it that it 's easier to help someone else ? The Joker transforms dozens of Gotham City citizens into laughing ( and robbing ) fools ! Is the Dark Knight outnumbered , or can he even the odds ? Should he use a Batarang or another high - tech weapon ? Can the Caped Crusader save the city , or will the Clown Prince have the last laugh ? In this interactive story , YOU CHOOSE the path Batman should take . With your help , hell take down The Joker 's Dozen ! Megan Wright spent one unforgettable summer week with a boy when they were both teens . And despite a lifetime of heartache and bad choices , she has never let go of his magical definition of love , even if she has trouble believing in it . After college Megan settled for a relationship of convenience . Now she 's a high powered attorney and , after the death of her husband two years ago , has been looking for help with her lonely young son . Across town , Casey Cummins is still dealing with the tragic loss of his wife . His search for meaning and hope leads him to contact the Manhattan Children 's Organization , who connects him with a fatherless child . Life suddenly takes a series of unusual twists , and soon Megan will learn that the teenage boy from all those years ago actually kept his promise , and the miracle she prayed for as a girl is only a breath away . Another great book by Karen Kingsbury . I love that she 's taken the red gloves from Gideon 's Gift and created a series . I didn 't realize it until I finished this book . Once again you get lost in the story and in the end learn a great lesson about love . Ten years later Big Earl meets Gideon , a seven - year - old leukemia patient who believes with all her heart that " Christmas means never having to ask God how much he loves us . " Gideon is determined to reach this lonely and hurting man who hates Christmas - - and he is just as determined to rebuff her . It will take a miracle for Earl to come to understand the true meaning of Christmas . But if he can accept what Gideon wants to give him , he might find that he can return the favor with a precious gift of his own . This is such a good book . Karen Kingsbury has a way of telling a story and teaching you a lesson at the same time . Gideon has a spirit that can 't be broken even when she finds out her leukemia has come back worse that before at Christmas time . Earl soon finds this out and does what he can to help her and her family have the best Christmas ever . Welcome to Casa de Vida - eleven quaint bungalows located three blocks from the Pacific Ocean in tiny Seaside Village , California . Owner Liv McAlister never advertises vacancies beyond a small hand - lettered sign out front , preferring to trust that God will send the right tenant at just the right time . And He always does . Meet Jasmyn Albright - she 's had more than her share of bad breaks lately , beginning with the tornado that demolished her farmhouse . Emotionally fragile and feeling utterly alone , Jasmyn heads west , hoping to outrun her heartbreak . And she doesn 't stop until she notices a small sign that reads " Vacancy . " Before she 's quite aware of how it all happened , Jasmyn finds herself the newest tenant at Casa de Vida . She hardly dares to hope that her fortunes might be about to change … but of course when God is at work , anything can happen , and new beginnings are one of His specialties . Boy was this a good book ! Jasmyn has had a tough life and after a tornado destroys the last thing she has left she 's told to take a vacation . When she gets to California she finally feels like she 's home . After her rental car and everything else she owns is stolen she meets Liv , owner of Casa De Vida . Liv and all the residents of Casa De Vida welcome Jasmyn into their ' family ' and temporarily move her into Cottage eleven . The longer Jasmyn stays at Casa De Vida the more at home she feels . After her vacation is over she goes back to Valley Oaks to find she 's homesick . Can she make Case De Vida her permanent home ? I was surprised by this book . The beginning was a little hard to follow and get a feel for the story line . Once I got into the book more it really grabbed my attention and didn 't let go . As Tori and Justin find out more about the pendant the more I wondered if what they found could be true . Posted by A mother 's Fatal Shot . A daughter 's deadly choice . In Israel , archaeologist Grace Madison shoots her daughter 's abductor moments before a handsome shepherd drops from the sky to kill a second assassin . Running for their lives , the women pursue an evil prepared to sacrifice millions of people . Endangering family and friends while confronting old loves , they soon realize nothing is as it seems . Even each other . Because choosing what 's right is all that 's left . SEAL Team Six operative Thomas Crocker is no stranger to missions of the highest national importance and the gravest danger . But this time , the mission hits close to home . The Iranian terrorist he and his squad are chasing is the same man who kidnapped his wife months before - the Falcon , who has been stealing Libyan nuclear material and is laying plans for a devastating attack against America . The hunt takes the team from Bangkok to Caracas in hot pursuit of the Falcon and his forces . Hunt the Falcon by Don Mann is a frightening journey into the battles we never hear of , the heroics and sometimes seemingly foolhardy risks taken by soldiers fighting the battle against terror . This time out , these brave men will face their own humanity as well as bullets as Don Mann fleshes the team out , allows heroes to be tortured , to die and to be permanently scarred for life . Will the memories they will always have slivering through their minds be too much ? Mann and Pezzullo have written engaging characters with Tom Crocker and his squad however the plot is overwhelming and , at times , overly complex . The authors seem to become so involved in the minute details that the primary story becomes blurred and lost . Readers will enjoy the book more if they learn to skim the details and heavy - handed descriptions and instead focus on the dialogue and action scenes because this where the book really shines . In this case the SEALs are on a mission against pirates who seek the critical ingredient in making nuclear bombs . This storyline is incredible and the highlight of the book . Readers are also invited into Tom Crocker 's life on a more personal level in Hunt the Scorpion because his wife becomes a very important character . The mission facing Crocker and his squad is to free the hostages , capture and pirates and save the day however the mission becomes personal when we learn ( and this isn 't a spoiler because it 's in the synopsis ) but Crocker 's wife and a good friend are two of the American hostages . I loved the Mann included this deeply personal aspect into the story because it did heighten the reader 's emotional connection to the story and deepen the experience . In the midst of a grueling training exercise , Thomas Crocker , USN , unearths a pocket of terrorism that leads straight from the slopes of K2 to the cities of Europe and the Middle East . Crocker and his team , who are trained for the most intense kinds of combat in the most extreme environments , must blaze through a perilous web of terrorist cells to track down a ruthless sheikh who is running an international kidnapping ring before his captives pay the ultimate price . I intended to read this series from the first to the last book , but mistakenly read the last book first . This book fills in a lot of the questions I had . This is a very serious series and pulls you in from the get go . After playing nomad for five years , Blake Hunziker has finally had enough of adventure . Not sure what reception he 'll get from everyone back in Whisper Shore , he 's stunned at not only a warm welcome from his hometown but also a job offer . The job is his if he can successfully pull off the annual Christmas Festival . If only he knew the first thing about coordinating events . . . If there 's one thing Autumn Kingsley knows , it 's Whisper Shore . For years , she 's been stuck running her family 's inn when all she wants is to see the world . Now she has a visit scheduled from a potential investor who could take over the inn , as well as a dream job offer in Paris . But with just two weeks to whip the inn into shape , her chance at escape is a long shot . The Hunzikers and the Kingsleys may not get along , but Blake knows Autumn 's the only one who can help him . She agrees to a trade - - she 'll help with the Festival and he 'll help with inn repairs . But what was meant to be a simple deal quickly becomes much more than that when the guy who 's done running away joins forces with the girl who can 't wait to leave . This is the first book I 've ready by Melissa Tagg . I really enjoyed the book the more I read it . I do wish it was as easy as Blake made it to talk things through with everyone . I have the same problem Autumn does of getting mad and then not saying what I should . This was a very good book . I can relate to Sarah when it comes to change . I don 't like it but it always seems to happen anyway . Don 't we all wish we had a support system like Sarah 's Gran ? I was so glad when Sarah finally found out the truth about Brandon . Posted by Ty Porter has always been irresistible to Celia Park . All through high school - - irresistible . When their paths cross again after college - - still irresistible . This time , though , Ty seems to feel exactly the same way about Celia . Their whirlwind romance deposits them at a street - corner Las Vegas wedding chapel . The next morning they wake to a marriage certificate and a dose of cold reality . Celia 's ready to be Ty 's wife , but Ty 's not ready to be her husband . He 's a professional bull rider , he lives on the road , and he 's long planned to settle down with the hometown girl he 's known since childhood . Five and a half years pass . Celia 's buried her dreams so that she can afford to raise her daughter . Ty 's achieved all of his goals . Or thought he had , until he looks again into the eyes of the woman he couldn 't forget and into the face of the child he never knew he had . This is a great book and easy read . I 'd love to find a man that is open and honest about how he feels like Ty is . It 's nice to read about a couple that can get back into church and build on their faith together . Claire Summers is a determined , independent single mother who is doing her best to make lemonade out of the lemons life has handed her . Keith Watson is a results - oriented workaholic with no time for a social life . As the executive assistant to a local philanthropic businessman , he 's used to fielding requests for donations . But when a letter from Claire 's eleven - year - old daughter reaches his desk , everything changes . The girl isn 't asking for money , but for help finding the long - lost son of an elderly neighbor . This book was not what I expected . It started out about with 2 very workaholic men that don 't know how to live outside of work . They both live very boring lives and seem to like it . Then a plea for help from an 11 year old changes everything for them both . They never expected their lives to change so drastically for the better - if they let it . 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Keith Watson is a results - oriented workaholic with no time for a social life . As the executive assistant to a local philanthropic businessman , he 's used to fielding requests for donations . But when a letter from Claire 's eleven - year - old daughter reaches his desk , eveSara Russell When a senator 's wife and teenage daughter are kidnapped , Thomas Crocker and SEAL Team Six are sent to Mexico 's lawless countryside , where federal agents protect instead of hunting down violent narcotics kingpins . The two women have been kidnapped by the Jackal , a drug lord drunk on power and influence . He also happens to be a self - styled modern Che Guevara , who has undergone plastic surgery to disguise his looks and justifies his brutal methods and Machiavellian drug empire with the politics of social revolution . The Jackal is as ruthless as he is colorful , and he must be stopped . Captain Dean Watters keeps his mission and his team in the forefront of his laser - like focus . So when Dean 's mission and team are threatened , his Special Forces training kicks into high gear . Failing to stop hackers from stealing national security secrets from the military 's secure computers and networks isn 't an option . Zahrah Zarrick is a missionary teacher to Afghan children in Mazar - e Sharif . And a target . When Zahrah is captured because of her expertise in quantum cryptology , compromising the US military , Dean is forced to crack the lockbox around his heart - a move that might come at the highest cost . I love every one of Ronie 's books that I 've read . This one is no exception . The characters and story line are so well developed I feel like I 'm right beside them and can 't put the book down . I only have one complaint about Raptor 6 - we were left hanging at the end . It 's worst than a season finally of NCIS when it 's a to be continued episode . Anana Johnson works with her father , Doug , at the North American Dictionary of the English Language ( NADEL ) , where Doug is hard at work on the last edition that will ever be printed . Doug is a staunchly anti - Meme , anti - tech intellectual who fondly remembers the days when people used email ( everything now is text or videoconference ) to communicate - or even actually spoke to one another , for that matter . One evening , Doug disappears from the NADEL offices , leaving a single written clue : ALICE . It 's a code word he devised to signal if he ever fell into harm 's way . And thus begins Anana 's journey down the proverbial rabbit hole . . . When Dr . Cyrus Mills returned home after inheriting his estranged father 's veterinary practice , The Bedside Manor for Sick Animals , the last thing he wanted was to stay in Eden Falls , Vermont , a moment longer than absolutely necessary . However , the previously reclusive veterinarian pathologist quickly found that he actually enjoyed treating animals and getting to know the eccentric residents of the tiny provincial town - especially an alluring waitress named Amy . So Cyrus is now determined to make Bedside Manor thrive . Not an easy goal , given that Healthy Paws , the national veterinary chain across town , will stop at nothing to crush its mom - and - pop competitor . And the rival vet practice isn 't Cyrus 's only competition ; a handsome stranger shows up out of nowhere who clearly has a mysterious past with Amy . To top it off , Cyrus finds himself both the guardian of a very unique orphaned dog and smack in the middle of serious small town drama . Dr . Cyrus Mills is a very different person . He 's not used to working with people and pets . His past occupation was in the lab figuring out the problems with the data given to him . Once he takes over his Dad 's veterinary practice he finds that dealing with data is much different than dealing with people . He has to learn how to speak in layman 's terms and to relate to the person . His biggest hurdle is his love life , or rather the lack there of . In October 1962 , Colt Harrison and his little brother , Timmy , hatched a plan . They would run away from their Florida home , head for their aunt 's house in Savannah , Georgia , and refuse to come home until their parents got back together . But things go terribly , terribly wrong . Colt 's mother and father must come to grips with years of neglect and mistrust in order to recover their beloved sons , their love for one another , and their broken marriage . Another great book by Dan Walsh . I 've read several of his books and they are all great . This one is a sad story with the best possible ending . It 's nice to see everyone pitch in and help each other . Dan has a way of telling a story that 's entertaining and also makes you think . His characters are always easy to relate to and associate with . I received a copy of Love Comes Calling by Siri Mitchell from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review . A girl with the best of intentions . A heart set on Hollywood . An empty pocketbook . That 's all it takes for Ellis Eton to find herself working as a telephone operator for a look - alike friend . For Ellis , this job will provide not only acting practice but the funds to get her a start in the movies . She 's tired of always being a disappointment to her traditional Boston family , and though she can 't deny the way he makes her head spin , she knows she 's not good enough for Griffin Phillips , either . It 's simple : avoid Griff 's attentions , work , and get paid . But in typical Ellis fashion , her simple plan spirals out of control when she overhears a menacing phone call . . . with her very own Griff as the target . I must admit I was frustrated with Ellis for most of this book . She 's not able to concentrate on anything no matter how hard she tries . This doesn 't make her a bad person just someone who isn 't able to get anything done . I can see how she thinks she 's a disappointment to everyone around her . Griff doesn 't see her this way but how long will it take for Ellis to understand this ? This book was a little hard for me to follow at times because it 's based in England . There were a lot of English slang terms that I didn 't get . I was completely caught off guard by the ending . I received a copy of Lip Reading by Harry Kraus from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review . She Could Save Millions , or Save Herself She just needs a little longer . She 's really close . Dr . Rebecca Jackson , a medical researcher , stands on the verge of a breakthrough that will transform medicine . But she soon discovers the reason behind the miraculous progress in her research , and it leaves her with a nearly impossible choice . . . and little time to decide . More than her research is at stake . And more threatens it than this latest revelation . Something she 's tried hard to cover up . There is a high cost to some things in medicine and it 's not always the patient who pays . Can Rebecca find the faith and wisdom she needs to make the right call ? The clock is ticking and the pressure is on . This book was very easy to get into from the beginning . There was a lot of medical research terminology but it didn 't hinder the story line at all . As we learned more about the characters and their history the more intrigued I became . I love how both Rebecca and Noah have a terrible experience in high school and they both come out of it with a life long goal to focus on a way to save millions of lives . What they don 't realize at first is they 're both working on the same goal but from different angles . Once they put money and fame aside they find out how much faster the goal is met when working together . I have to admit I really didn 't like the ending . I received a copy of A June Bride by Marybeth Whalen from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review . A year 's worth of novellas from twelve inspirational romance authors . Happily ever after guaranteed . Wynne Hardy never thought she 'd get engaged on a reality TV show , but when she met Andy on The Rejection Connection , the two of them hit it off . Now he 's asked her to marry him , much to the public 's delight and fascination . They 're all set to wed on live TV in a seaside ceremony at the height of the wedding season . But just as Wynne thinks all her dreams are coming true , her ex - boyfriend walks back into her life at the worst possible time . Steve broke her heart years ago , and she 's still sorting through her feelings for him . Her heart isn 't as clear as her head that it 's past time to move on - even though she 's engaged to Andy . At a local TV talk show appearance , Wynne meets Meredith , who won another reality TV show - Marathon Mom - proving herself nothing short of a superhero . As Wynne 's beach wedding plans spin out of control , Meredith offers to help , unknowingly stepping on Wynne 's secret feelings . . . and exposing some secrets Meredith has been keeping to herself . Can these two reality stars get real about their feelings ? Will Wynne go through with her televised wedding and be the perfect June bride the network is looking for ? I can totally relate to Wynne . I have ideas of how things should be - always perfect . I constantly try to make everyone happy and do what I think I should to make things perfect . Like Wynne I need to remember God is the only one who 's perfect . If I 'd just lean on him and let his plans play out everything would end up perfect . I received a copy of Butterfly Palace by Colleen Coble from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review . Austin , Texas - 1904 : Abandoned by the love of her life and still mourning the loss of her mother , Lily Donaldson has turned her back on the pain and come to Austin for a fresh start , working for the Marshall family as a kitchen maid in their luxurious mansion , the Butterfly Palace . The tasks before her are legion , and her mistress less than pleasant , but at least Lily 's new life will be , if nothing else , distracting . But one night , while serving at a dinner party , Lily recognizes the man who abandoned her , Andy , her liaison from the livery stable , the blacksmith 's son . . . sitting among the distinguished guests . Though he recognizes her , Andy does not acknowledge her aloud , and Lily is left reeling , flabbergasted , and irate . But before she can get an explanation , the path of the Servant Girl Killer swerves very close to the Butterfly Palace , sowing terror among the maids . Having come to Austin to start anew , Lily suddenly feels trapped in a spider web . How can she know who to trust in a house where lies come dressed in fine suits and deceit in silk gowns the colors of butterfly wings ? I normally don 't read books set in the early 1900 's , but I 've really like the other books by Colleen Coble so I took a chance . It was difficult to understand some of the terminology at first , but I got the hang of it after a chapter or two . This was a much different book compared to the others I 've read . It wasn 't overly romantic but more on the mystery side . I didn 't see the ending coming so that kept me reading . I also really liked that Coble put a little letter to the reader at the end explaining how the idea of the book came about . This is not your typical diet book . Rick Warren decided he needed to eat better and brought it up in one of his sermons . To his surprise most of his church went on the journey with him . Warren tells how you don 't only need to focus on food , but your faith , fitness and friends if you want to get fit . I have to admit it 's the best diet book I 've ever read . I received a copy of AN April Bride by Lenora Worth from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review . A charming wedding novella set in the spring . What will happen when love and wedding plans come together this April ? War changes everything . . . even their love . Bride - to - be Stella Carson can 't wait to marry her longtime sweetheart Marshall Henderson . But Marshall has been away serving his country and has suffered a head wound . After being diagnosed with post - traumatic disorder , he has distanced himself from Stella , asking her not to visit him in the Washington , D . C . hospital . Marshall returns to Louisiana just four weeks before the wedding , but as the big day draws near , Stella wonders if the man she 's loved for most of her life has become someone else . Can true love conquer all for Stella and Marshall ? Even the tragedy of war ? This was a good story about how to deal with a loved one with post - traumatic disorder . Stella not only had a wedding to plan but had her groom come home after suffering a head wound in battle and he didn 't remember her at all . Planning a wedding is stressful on any couple but to have him not remember you is something I can 't imagine dealing with . Stella 's parents and her soon to be in - laws all worked together to help Marshall regain his memories . Posted by I received a copy of Smitten Book Club by Colleen Coble , Kristin Billerbeck , Diann Hunt and Denise Hunter from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review . At a rummage sale , Heather , a member of the Fireside Book Club , discovers a turn - of - the - century romantic advice book written by a once - famous Smitten , Vermont , resident . When she shares the precious volume with her friends in the club , they find clues about a hidden treasure rumored to be buried in their tiny town . As Heather , Abby , Lia , and Molly take turns reading the book , each projects onto it her own literary tastes . Heather sees it as a mystery . Abby discovers delicious dashes of Jane Austen . Lia sees in it the idealism of a bygone day . And Molly just wishes they 'd made the book into a movie ! One by one , each of the women finds romantic love - often in spite of the historic book 's advice . And in searching for the legendary gold , the friends discover the best kind of treasure . The kind that brings hope and healing to each of their hearts . This was like reading 4 books in one . Each author wrote a short book focusing on a different character . All the characters are friends that live in Smitten and meet monthly for a book club . Not all of the members of the book club like to read or actually read the books for that matter . They all do pull together to help each other anytime the need arises . I love how each short book ends with a happy ending . I received a copy of The Chase by Janet Evanovich and Lee Goldburg from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review . Internationally renowned thief and con artist Nicolas Fox is famous for running elaborate and daring scams . His greatest con of all : convincing the FBI to team him up with the only person who has ever caught him , and the only woman to ever capture his attention , Special Agent Kate O ' Hare . Together they 'll go undercover to swindle and catch the world 's most wanted - and untouchable - criminals . Their newest target is Carter Grove , a former White House chief of staff and the ruthless leader of a private security agency . Grove has stolen a rare Chinese artifact from the Smithsonian , a crime that will torpedo U . S . relations with China if it ever becomes public . Nick and Kate must work under the radar - and against the clock - to devise a plan to steal the piece back . Confronting Grove 's elite assassins , Nick and Kate rely on the skills of their ragtag crew , including a flamboyant actor , a Geek Squad techie , and a band of AARP - card - carrying mercenaries led by none other than Kate 's dad . A daring heist and a deadly chase lead Nick and Kate from Washington , D . C . , to Shanghai , from the highlands of Scotland to the underbelly of Montreal . But it 'll take more than death threats , trained henchmen , sleepless nights , and the fate of a dynasty 's priceless heirloom to outsmart Fox and O ' Hare . This is the first book I 've read by either of the authors . It was a really good book and makes me want to read more of Janet Evanovich and Lee Goldburg 's books . I have to admit that many of the plans that Nick and Kate pull off seem very far fetched but make for good reading . Having one of the biggest collections belong to a former White House chief of staff does like something that could really happen . A thrilling new series about a secret war between the forces of faith and those who would destroy it . In the first volume , small - town lawyer Bethany Barclay , struggling to piece together the final months of her best friend 's life , becomes the pawn of both sides . One group focused on destroying all religion . One group struggling to preserve the church . One woman searching for the truth . The evidence is against her . The FBI is right behind her . A malevolent killer has her in his sights . And as Bethany digs deeper into a complex web of lies surrounding her ties to the murder of her client 's son , she remains unaware of the real battle in front of her . She thinks her friend Annabelle was killed because of what she learned about a rumored first - century Christian artifact . What Bethany doesn 't know is that Annabelle died in the crossfire between two shadowy organizations that have been doing battle for centuries . The Wilderness , wealthy and vast , is dedicated to the destruction of all religious faith . The Garden , a group of seven members led by a man they call the Builder , carries on a grim , secret struggle to protect the church . Only a few in the Garden realize that there 's more at stake than the artifact the Wilderness is seeking . But as Bethany discovers that she 's a tiny part of a larger war , can she trust the Builder to save her ? Or will he sacrifice her for the sake of the cause ? This was a very difficult book for me . I really tried to get into it but couldn 't . I even went out and read other reviews on the book hoping that would help me . Posted by I received a copy of Life Support by Candace Calvert from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review . Nurse Lauren Barclay put her life on hold to keep a watchful eye on her troubled sister . It 's why she 's back in Houston . But that means confronting the brooding physician assistant who caused painful turmoil in her family - - and left Lauren with memories her heart can 't forget . PA and single parent Elijah Landry is no stranger to stormy relationships , including one with his father , who is threatening him with a restraining order . It won 't stop Eli from protecting his disabled brother - - or from making peace with Lauren . He wants that and so much more . I have to admit after reading this book that my life doesn 't look so bad . This is a good reminder that we all have issues that we 're facing and not to judge too quickly . Lauren has been defending and trying to help her sister all her life . What she doesn 't want to admit is that Jessica needs more help than her family is willing to give . Eli has been trying to make sure his brother gets the best care possible even when his father puts a restraining order against him . As they become closer to each other their family issues come to a head . They need each other and God more than ever , but can they work out their problems ?
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Calling Anna and Bennett 's romance long distance is an understatement : she 's from 1995 Chicago and he 's a time traveler from 2012 San Francisco . The two of them never should have met , but they did . They fell in love , even though they knew they shouldn 't . And they found a way to stay together , against all odds . It 's not a perfect arrangement , though , with Bennett unable to stay in the past for more than brief visits , skipping out on big chunks of his present in order to be with Anna in hers . They each are confident that they 'll find a way to make things work . . . until Bennett witnesses a single event he never should have seen ( and certainly never expected to ) . Will the decisions he makes from that point on cement a future he doesn 't want ? Told from Bennett 's point of view , Time After Time will satisfy readers looking for a fresh , exciting , and beautifully - written love story , both those who are eager to find out what 's next for Time Between Us 's Anna and Bennett and those discovering their story for the first time . I loved Time Between Us . It was such a sweet romantic time - travel love story , reminding me a bit of The Time Traveler 's Wife , which is one of my all time favorite books . Time Between Us seemed like a great stand - alone at the time , but I was really excited to hear that there was a sequel . And it 's told from Bennett 's POV . Can 't wait ! ! On the outside , seventeen - year - old Madelyne Summers looks like your typical blond cheerleader - perky , popular , and dating the star quarterback . But inside , Maddie spends more time agonizing over what will happen in the next issue of her favorite comic book than planning pep rallies with her squad . That she 's a nerd hiding in a popular girl 's body isn 't just unknown , it 's anti - known . And she needs to keep it that way . Summer is the only time Maddie lets her real self out to play , but when she slips up and the adorkable guy behind the local comic shop 's counter uncovers her secret , she 's busted . Before she can shake a pom - pom , Maddie 's whisked into Logan 's world of comic conventions , live - action role - playing , and first - person - shooter video games . And she loves it . But the more she denies who she really is , the deeper her lies become … and the more she risks losing Logan forever . I loved this book . Cute cute cute ( I would say adorkable , but . . . ) . Read this book if you just want to put a smile on your face . Maddie had a bad experience in the sixth grade ( she dressed up as her favorite super - hero and was laughed at by pretty much the entire school ) so ever since then she has hidden her inner nerd and instead has become the stereotypical popular blonde cheerleader who is dating the quarterback . She pretends with everyone , even her best friend . But one day a new comic book issue she has been waiting for doesn 't come in the mail and she just can 't take it and decides to go into the comic book store ( a place she has dreamed of going into but never could ) . She disguises herself and talks to Logan , whose parents own the comic book store and who she actually has sort of been crushing on . Logan is cute , but nerdy , and he just doesn 't care . He is friends with who he wants to be friends with , and does what he wants to do . And the rest of the summer is about Maddie struggling with who she really is and what truly makes her happy ( and who ) versus who she thinks she has to be in order to be popular . I really liked Maddie , even though she is pretty shallow and oblivious to everyone around her . For example , she and Logan are at a restaurant and she doesn 't recognize the waitress , who goes to their school and has been in classes with Maddie . And she lies and makes some pretty dumb decisions and is so obsessed with her image it 's annoying . But it 's also pretty realistic . I remember being in high school and how girls ( me included ) would pretend to be dumb because it 's just what you did . But I did want to smack her sometimes . Logan . . . what a fantastic guy . There 's nothing brooding or mysterious about him . He is so thoughtful and sweet and I was just hoping Maddie wouldn 't break his heart . Just such a sweet romance ! Tehereh Mafi . Shatter Me . 2011 . " I 've been locked up for 264 days . I have nothing but a small notebook and a broken pen and the numbers in my head to keep me company . 1 window . 4 walls . 144 square feet of space . 26 letters in the alphabet . I haven 't spoken in 264 days of isolation . 6 , 336 hours since I 've touched another human being . " Michelle Hodkin . The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer . 2011 . " My name is not Mara Dyer , but my lawyer told me I had to choose something . A pseudonym . A nom de plume , for all of us studying for the SATs . I know that having a fake name is strange , but trust me - - it 's the most normal thing about my life right now . Even telling you this much probably isn 't smart . But without my big mouth , no one would know that a seventeen - year - old who likes Death Cab for Cutie was responsible for the murders . No one would know that somewhere out there is a B student with a body count . And it 's important that you know , so you 're not next . Rachel 's birthday was the beginning . This is what I remember . " Kate Karyus Quinn . Another Little Piece . 2013 . " The field didn 't end so much as trail off , beaten back by the rusted - out trailer and circle of junked vehicles surrounding it . As if they had forgotten how to be still , the girl 's bare and bloodied feet tripped and stumbled over each other . Slowly , slowly , the momentum that had brought her through the night and into the cold gray dawn leeched away . She tugged at the garbage bag she 's refashioned as a poncho . It was worse than useless at keeping her dry , but its constant crinkle had been a steady companion , and now that she 'd reached her destination it seemed wrong to let it be lost to the wind . Standing still , she studied the No Trespassing sign spray - painted on a weather chunk of plywood , waiting for something to happen . Certain that something would . She didn 't know where she was , or even her own name , but she felt sure of this . " Sarah J . Maas . Throne of Glass . 2012 . " After a year of slavery in the Salt Mines of Endovier , Celaena Sardothien was accustomed to being escorted everywhere in shackles and at sword - point . Most of the thousands of slaves in Endovier received similar treatment - - though an extra half - dozen guards always walked Calaena to and from the mines . That was expected by Adarlan 's most notorious assassin . What she did not usually expect , however , was a hooded man in black at her side - - as there was now . " Stacy Kramer and Valerie Thomas . From What I Remember . . . 2012 . " I am jolted awake by sunlight flooding the room . What time is it ? Where am I ? Disoriented , I attempt to open my eyes . The light is stabbing . My head is throbbing , my throat is raw , and my stomach is roiling . Is this what a hangover feels like ? I wouldn 't know . I 've never had one . Until now . I close my eyes , take a few deep breaths , and lie still , trying to get my bearings . Last night was one of the greatest nights of my life . I think . But then again , it could have turned into one of the worst . I don 't remember much past a certain point . . . . I turn my head to avert my eyes , and that 's when I see him . The gorgeous , half - naked boy lying next to me . Asleep . Oh . My . God . Max . " The Registry saved the country from collapse . But stability has come at a price . In this patriotic new America , girls are raised to be brides , sold at auction to the highest bidder . Boys are raised to be soldiers , trained by the state to fight to their death . Nearly eighteen , beautiful Mia Morrissey excitedly awaits the beginning of her auction year . But a warning from her married older sister raises dangerous thoughts . Now , instead of going up on the block , Mia is going to escape to Mexico - and the promise of freedom . All Mia wants is to control her own destiny - a brave and daring choice that will transform her into an enemy of the state , pursued by powerful government agents , ruthless bounty hunters , and a cunning man determined to own her . . . a man who will stop at nothing to get her back . This book was entertaining , but it lacked that wow factor . The premise is interesting . It is sometime in the future , and girls are sold to the highest bidder . And couples want girls because they get money , and if they have a boy , the boy is given away to the government to learn to be tough and eventually be a soldier . To keep women in their place , they have no real education . Instead , they learn how to please their future husband ( cooking , cleaning , sewing , make - up , clothes , etc ) . Mia is so sheltered and ignorant , it 's rather ridiculous . She has to take a test for the Registry , and she can 't even do basic math . She has no access to news , computers , etc . She 's lived her entire life on the farm and has had no interaction with anyone , except for Whitney , a girl whose father works for her family and is smart and not that attractive so no one will buy her ( which means she 'll be married to the government ) . Then Mia finds out from her older sister that the Registry and marriage is not all that it seems , and Mia decides to escape . Before she can escape , she meets her future husband , the evil Grant . She and Whitney run away and end up blackmailing Andrew , one of her father 's workers , to help them ( He was leaving since he has about a month before he has to report for duty and he wants to relax and see some of the country ) . So most of the book is them on the run and Grant chasing them . Mia is incredibly ignorant and Whitney is whiny . Andrew is almost emotionless , having been practically brainwashed to believe everything he has been told about America . All he wants is to serve his country , get a great job after , and buy a nice wife through the Registry . Grant is rather two - dimensional , just evil . The story is told from three POVs : Mia 's , Grant 's , and Andrew 's . I liked the chapters told from Andrew 's POV because it was interesting to see how he was changing and how he was really feeling since he usually didn 't express any emotions ( well , he does get mad at Mia and Whitney a lot because they 're so ridiculous ) . Mia is also changing as she gets more assertive , a little bit more savvy ( she 's starting at zero ) , and opening her eyes to the world . Part of me liked this book , but part of me thought it was pretty ridiculous . There 's a pointless love triangle that just annoyed me . There is some resolution , but I 'm assuming there is another book . If I had to rate this , I would give it between 2 . 5 and 3 stars . Following an all - out battle with the walking Dead , the Spirit Hunters have fled Philadelphia , leaving Eleanor alone to cope with the devastating aftermath . But there 's more trouble ahead - the evil necromancer Marcus has returned , and his diabolical advances have Eleanor escaping to Paris to seek the help of Joseph , Jie , and the infuriatingly handsome Daniel once again . When she arrives , however , she finds a whole new darkness lurking in this City of Light . As harrowing events unfold , Eleanor is forced to make a deadly decision that will mean life or death for everyone . I loved this book , I think it was even better than the first ! It starts about three months after the Spirit Hunters left Eleanor in Philadelphia . Things are not good for Eleanor . She 's alone ( her mother is in a mental health facility ) and without a right hand ( which becomes a really important part of the story ) . She is still reeling from losing her brother and Clarence . And she cannot forget that Daniel told her that he didn 't love her . ( Although I was always wondering about that , he did say it was complicated , but then she said it was a yes or no question and then he said no ) . Anyway . . . Marcus is back so Eleanor flees to meet the Spirit Hunters in Paris so they can help her and defeat Marcus . This book is dark and frustrated me to death , but in a good way . I just wanted to scream at everyone . Just talk to each other ! Tell each other what is going on ! Gah ! But no one listened to me , which I guess is good because it would have been a pretty boring book if that had been the case . The Spirit Hunters actually don 't make an appearance until about a third of the way into the book , and Daniel doesn 't show up until about half way through , so know that going in . I wanted more of all of them together , but there is not a whole lot of that . There is a new character , Oliver , and I have mixed feelings about him . Daniel . . . I was so frustrated by the events in this book revolving around Daniel and Eleanor . There are moments between them , but not a lot . And I wanted to smack both of them most of the time . Still no love triangle , though - - yay ! But what Daniel was trying to do , with his new clothes , speaking , the " empty " box - - so cute ! Jie - - needed more Jie ! And Eleanor is dealing with her necromancy powers , and I 'm afraid of where that is heading . It is so not looking good . The book ends in the middle , so be prepared for that . I still loved it , but I can 't believe I 'll have to wait however long to get resolution . Still , awesome book ! The Garretts are everything the Reeds are not . Loud , messy , affectionate . And every day from her rooftop perch , Samantha Reed wishes she was one of them . . . until one summer evening , Jase Garrett climbs up next to her and changes everything . As the two fall fiercely for each other , stumbling through the awkwardness and awesomeness of first love , Jase 's family embraces Samantha - even as she keeps him a secret from her own . Then something unthinkable happens , and the bottom drops out of Samantha 's world . She 's suddenly faced with an impossible decision . Which perfect family will save her ? Or is it time she saved herself ? A transporting debut about family , friendship , first romance , and how to be true to one person you love without betraying another . Sweet , romantic read . The focus of this book is on the romance , which is a nice slow - building realistic one . I just loved how their relationship developed . And Jase , what a perfect guy ! I 've read a few contemporary YA recently and he is definitely my favorite so far . Good - looking ( of course ) , open , honest , a good brother , good son , great friend . He can fix anything . Absolutely a stand - up guy . He comes from a large family that Samantha has always watched from the roof . I have to say that I 'm not sure how they never really were around each other at all . Yes , they went to different schools , but they lived next door to each other . Oh well . Samantha lives with just her mom and her older sister , and the rambunctious Garrett family has always fascinated her ( and her mom can 't stand them ) . Samantha 's home is ordered and peaceful ( her mom vacuums every single day ) while the Garrett 's house is messy and completely chaotic . So one night Jase climbs up the trellis and they talk for the first time . ( I 'm not sure if I missed this , but do they ever explain what made him finally climb up ? ) Samantha is a realistic character . Unlike Jase , she has flaws . She 's beautiful , but a little closed off and she listens to her mother too much . I did not like her mother at all , she was a piece of work . There were times when I was so disappointed in Samantha for how she was treating Jase ( not bad , but . . . well , let 's just say she doesn 't treat him as well as he treats her ) , but it felt real . She grows throughout the novel . It was nice seeing her come into her own as she grew to love Jase and his family . And the sex in the book is handled in a realistic , responsible way . Also , I ended up loving Tim . He cusses , he drinks , he does drugs , he 's irresponsible ( he 's constantly getting fired , even from a hotdog stand ) , and he 's been a horrible friend to Samantha . But . . . he ends up being such a great surprise . Nan , his sister , who has been best friends with Samantha since they were five , also ends up acting in a surprising way . The relationship between Samantha and Nan is one part of the story that does not get resolved . And the Garrett family , such a warm , wonderful family ! George is adorable ( I think he 's four ) . There are some serious issues that come up in the book , and it raises questions about what you would do in a situation where you have to choose between your family and doing what 's right . Awesome read ! Stacking The Shelves is all about sharing the books you are adding to your shelves , may it be physical or virtual . This means you can include books you buy in physical store or online , books you borrow from friends or the library , review books , gifts and of course ebooks ! It is hosted by Tyngas Reviews . Only Em can complete the final instruction . She 's tried everything to prevent the creation of a time machine that will tear the world apart . She holds the proof : a list she has never seen before , written in her own hand . Each failed attempt in the past has led her to the same terrible present - imprisoned and tortured by a sadistic man called the doctor while war rages outside . Marina has loved her best friend James since the day he moved next door when they were children . A gorgeous , introverted science prodigy from one of America 's most famous families , James finally seems to be seeing Marina in a new way , too . But on one disastrous night , James 's life crumbles apart , and with it , Marina 's hopes for their future . Now someone is trying to kill him . Marina will protect James , no matter what . Even if it means opening her eyes to a truth so terrible that she may not survive it . At least not as the girl she once was . All Our Yesterdays is a wrenching , brilliantly plotted story of fierce love , unthinkable sacrifice , and the infinite implications of our every choice . you find out what Finn and Em talked about and what Finn told her . So sweet ! And the best thing of all , there 's no cliffhanger , everything is resolved . I heard there was a sequel in the works , but I guess with time travel , you can always do more . Back to the Future ? Terminator ? But to me , the story was complete . Definitely recommend this one ! So I should be honest and say that I am one of those people that likes to read the last chapter first . I know many of you purists will throw your arms up in disgust and say , " BUT WHY ? " Under normal circumstances it allows me to enjoy the book more but in the case of this book it was a very BAD decision and I would not recommend this strategy . One of the things I loved about this book was knowing it would begin and end in a single book . While the book was a page turner it took me about a week to finish and I started another book in between . One of the reasons I found myself putting the book down was I actually never connected with James . I really didn 't feel much of anything towards him . On the other hand I really liked Finn and loved the way Cristin Terrill developed young Finn and old Finn in such a way that he basically becomes a better version of himself while she takes Marina in a completely different direction . Given the various rules each author sets in time travel I found it interesting that the characters in her own book had such different responses to their young and old selves . Another reason I found myself putting the book down was time traveler Em 's attitude toward Marina . While I understood and began to care for the character of Em I did not feel that way toward Marina . Em 's attitude towards Marina drove me crazy to be frank . I wish Cristin Terrill had given Marina more depth and complexity as a character . Given her family situation she could have been a much more interesting character than she was presented as . I appreciated that the minor characters only played minimal roles in the plot which made it easier to keep things straight while moving back and forth between periods of time . Overall I enjoyed the book and would definitely recommend it as a great time - travel book ! Amy Curry thinks her life sucks . Her mom decides to move from California to Connecticut to start anew - - just in time for Amy 's senior year . Her dad recently died in a car accident . So Amy embarks on a road trip to escape from it all , driving cross - country from the home she 's always known toward her new life . Joining Amy on the road trip is Roger , the son of Amy 's mother 's old friend . Amy hasn 't seen him in years , and she is less than thrilled to be driving across the country with a guy she barely knows . So she 's surprised to find that she is developing a crush on him . At the same time , she 's coming to terms with her father 's death and how to put her own life back together after the accident . Told in traditional narrative as well as scraps from the road - - diner napkins , motel receipts , postcards - - this is the story of one girl 's journey to find herself . I enjoyed this book . I liked the fact that it was a road - trip book . I 've always wanted to take a road trip and see a lot of the US ( the problem is that I really hate driving ) so it was great reading about the different places they went . I think what made this book so unique were the pictures , receipts and comments Amy left in the travel journal . And the playlists were fabulous . I liked Roger . It was a refreshing change of pace to read about a nice guy . Now don 't get me wrong , I do like the bad boy , but it was great that Roger was a good guy . ( For some reason , the bad boy seems to work a lot better in paranormal novels for me ) . It actually would have been interesting to have Roger 's POV in the novel along with Amy 's . If you 're looking for a huge romance , you don 't really get it ( until the end ) . So just know that going in . Also , know that there are some serious parts of the book , given that Amy is trying to get over the death of her father , but it 's not overly depressing . She 's closed herself from people ( even her best friend ) and she learns to open up while she 's traveling with Roger . In the end , sweet , fast read and if you 're in the mood for a road trip book , you 'll enjoy it . Ruby never asked for the abilities that almost cost her her life . Now she must call upon them on a daily basis , leading dangerous missions to bring down a corrupt government and breaking into the minds of her enemies . Other kids in the Children 's League call Ruby " Leader " , but she knows what she really is : a monster . When Ruby is entrusted with an explosive secret , she must embark on her most dangerous mission yet : leaving the Children 's League behind . Crucial information about the disease that killed most of America 's children - and turned Ruby and the others who lived into feared and hated outcasts - has survived every attempt to destroy it . But the truth is only saved in one place : a flashdrive in the hands of Liam Stewart , the boy Ruby once believed was her future - and who now wouldn 't recognize her . As Ruby sets out across a desperate , lawless country to find Liam - and answers about the catastrophe that has ripped both her life and America apart - she is torn between old friends and the promise she made to serve the League . Ruby will do anything to protect the people she loves . But what if winning the war means losing herself ? Review : Ruby has come a long way . She 's going through a lot , trying to stay strong , grow into her powers , but at the same time she feels like using her abilities is wrong and it scares her . She is doing her best to protect the people she loves , but she is constantly questioning her decisions . Still , she is literally kick - ass in this book . There are old characters that come back for this book . Chubs , how I love Chubs . Liam . I almost cannot talk about how much I love Liam . I won 't spoil anything , but what happens between him and Ruby was just so . . . . ( By the way , the ending of The Darkest Minds just killed me . I understood why Ruby did what she did , but still . Killed me ) . Clancy , just ugh . Then there are new characters , like Vida . Feisty . I loved her interactions with Chub , quite funny . Jude , what a great character . He 's like Ruby 's little brother , so open and naive , so trusting . And Cole , Liam 's brother . We 'll just have to see about him . Words cannot express how much I loved this book ! I was overwhelmed . My emotions were all over the place . I had to put it down sometimes and walk away ( of course , I still read it in one day ) . The plot is so action packed and fast paced , with many twists and turns . I was on the edge of my seat the entire time I was reading it . It 's even better than the first one ! And that just usually doesn 't happen with sequels .
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Calling Anna and Bennett 's romance long distance is an understatement : she 's from 1995 Chicago and he 's a time traveler from 2012 San Francisco . The two of them never should have met , but they did . They fell in love , even though they knew they shouldn 't . And they found a way to stay together , against all odds . It 's not a perfect arrangement , though , with Bennett unable to stay in the past for more than brief visits , skipping out on big chunks of his present in order to be with Anna in hers . They each are confident that they 'll find a way to make things work . . . until Bennett witnesses a single event he never should have seen ( and certainly never expected to ) . Will the decisions he makes from that point on cement a future he doesn 't want ? Told from Bennett 's point of view , Time After Time will satisfy readers looking for a fresh , exciting , and beautifully - written love story , both those who are eager to find out what 's next for Time Between Us 's Anna and Bennett and those discovering their story for the first time . I loved Time Between Us . It was such a sweet romantic time - travel love story , reminding me a bit of The Time Traveler 's Wife , which is one of my all time favorite books . Time Between Us seemed like a great stand - alone at the time , but I was really excited to hear that there was a sequel . And it 's told from Bennett 's POV . Can 't wait ! ! On the outside , seventeen - year - old Madelyne Summers looks like your typical blond cheerleader - perky , popular , and dating the star quarterback . But inside , Maddie spends more time agonizing over what will happen in the next issue of her favorite comic book than planning pep rallies with her squad . That she 's a nerd hiding in a popular girl 's body isn 't just unknown , it 's anti - known . And she needs to keep it that way . Summer is the only time Maddie lets her real self out to play , but when she slips up and the adorkable guy behind the local comic shop 's counter uncovers her secret , she 's busted . Before she can shake a pom - pom , Maddie 's whisked into Logan 's world of comic conventions , live - action role - playing , and first - person - shooter video games . And she loves it . But the more she denies who she really is , the deeper her lies become … and the more she risks losing Logan forever . I loved this book . Cute cute cute ( I would say adorkable , but . . . ) . Read this book if you just want to put a smile on your face . Maddie had a bad experience in the sixth grade ( she dressed up as her favorite super - hero and was laughed at by pretty much the entire school ) so ever since then she has hidden her inner nerd and instead has become the stereotypical popular blonde cheerleader who is dating the quarterback . She pretends with everyone , even her best friend . But one day a new comic book issue she has been waiting for doesn 't come in the mail and she just can 't take it and decides to go into the comic book store ( a place she has dreamed of going into but never could ) . She disguises herself and talks to Logan , whose parents own the comic book store and who she actually has sort of been crushing on . Logan is cute , but nerdy , and he just doesn 't care . He is friends with who he wants to be friends with , and does what he wants to do . And the rest of the summer is about Maddie struggling with who she really is and what truly makes her happy ( and who ) versus who she thinks she has to be in order to be popular . I really liked Maddie , even though she is pretty shallow and oblivious to everyone around her . For example , she and Logan are at a restaurant and she doesn 't recognize the waitress , who goes to their school and has been in classes with Maddie . And she lies and makes some pretty dumb decisions and is so obsessed with her image it 's annoying . But it 's also pretty realistic . I remember being in high school and how girls ( me included ) would pretend to be dumb because it 's just what you did . But I did want to smack her sometimes . Logan . . . what a fantastic guy . There 's nothing brooding or mysterious about him . He is so thoughtful and sweet and I was just hoping Maddie wouldn 't break his heart . Just such a sweet romance ! Tehereh Mafi . Shatter Me . 2011 . " I 've been locked up for 264 days . I have nothing but a small notebook and a broken pen and the numbers in my head to keep me company . 1 window . 4 walls . 144 square feet of space . 26 letters in the alphabet . I haven 't spoken in 264 days of isolation . 6 , 336 hours since I 've touched another human being . " Michelle Hodkin . The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer . 2011 . " My name is not Mara Dyer , but my lawyer told me I had to choose something . A pseudonym . A nom de plume , for all of us studying for the SATs . I know that having a fake name is strange , but trust me - - it 's the most normal thing about my life right now . Even telling you this much probably isn 't smart . But without my big mouth , no one would know that a seventeen - year - old who likes Death Cab for Cutie was responsible for the murders . No one would know that somewhere out there is a B student with a body count . And it 's important that you know , so you 're not next . Rachel 's birthday was the beginning . This is what I remember . " Kate Karyus Quinn . Another Little Piece . 2013 . " The field didn 't end so much as trail off , beaten back by the rusted - out trailer and circle of junked vehicles surrounding it . As if they had forgotten how to be still , the girl 's bare and bloodied feet tripped and stumbled over each other . Slowly , slowly , the momentum that had brought her through the night and into the cold gray dawn leeched away . She tugged at the garbage bag she 's refashioned as a poncho . It was worse than useless at keeping her dry , but its constant crinkle had been a steady companion , and now that she 'd reached her destination it seemed wrong to let it be lost to the wind . Standing still , she studied the No Trespassing sign spray - painted on a weather chunk of plywood , waiting for something to happen . Certain that something would . She didn 't know where she was , or even her own name , but she felt sure of this . " Sarah J . Maas . Throne of Glass . 2012 . " After a year of slavery in the Salt Mines of Endovier , Celaena Sardothien was accustomed to being escorted everywhere in shackles and at sword - point . Most of the thousands of slaves in Endovier received similar treatment - - though an extra half - dozen guards always walked Calaena to and from the mines . That was expected by Adarlan 's most notorious assassin . What she did not usually expect , however , was a hooded man in black at her side - - as there was now . " Stacy Kramer and Valerie Thomas . From What I Remember . . . 2012 . " I am jolted awake by sunlight flooding the room . What time is it ? Where am I ? Disoriented , I attempt to open my eyes . The light is stabbing . My head is throbbing , my throat is raw , and my stomach is roiling . Is this what a hangover feels like ? I wouldn 't know . I 've never had one . Until now . I close my eyes , take a few deep breaths , and lie still , trying to get my bearings . Last night was one of the greatest nights of my life . I think . But then again , it could have turned into one of the worst . I don 't remember much past a certain point . . . . I turn my head to avert my eyes , and that 's when I see him . The gorgeous , half - naked boy lying next to me . Asleep . Oh . My . God . Max . " The Registry saved the country from collapse . But stability has come at a price . In this patriotic new America , girls are raised to be brides , sold at auction to the highest bidder . Boys are raised to be soldiers , trained by the state to fight to their death . Nearly eighteen , beautiful Mia Morrissey excitedly awaits the beginning of her auction year . But a warning from her married older sister raises dangerous thoughts . Now , instead of going up on the block , Mia is going to escape to Mexico - and the promise of freedom . All Mia wants is to control her own destiny - a brave and daring choice that will transform her into an enemy of the state , pursued by powerful government agents , ruthless bounty hunters , and a cunning man determined to own her . . . a man who will stop at nothing to get her back . This book was entertaining , but it lacked that wow factor . The premise is interesting . It is sometime in the future , and girls are sold to the highest bidder . And couples want girls because they get money , and if they have a boy , the boy is given away to the government to learn to be tough and eventually be a soldier . To keep women in their place , they have no real education . Instead , they learn how to please their future husband ( cooking , cleaning , sewing , make - up , clothes , etc ) . Mia is so sheltered and ignorant , it 's rather ridiculous . She has to take a test for the Registry , and she can 't even do basic math . She has no access to news , computers , etc . She 's lived her entire life on the farm and has had no interaction with anyone , except for Whitney , a girl whose father works for her family and is smart and not that attractive so no one will buy her ( which means she 'll be married to the government ) . Then Mia finds out from her older sister that the Registry and marriage is not all that it seems , and Mia decides to escape . Before she can escape , she meets her future husband , the evil Grant . She and Whitney run away and end up blackmailing Andrew , one of her father 's workers , to help them ( He was leaving since he has about a month before he has to report for duty and he wants to relax and see some of the country ) . So most of the book is them on the run and Grant chasing them . Mia is incredibly ignorant and Whitney is whiny . Andrew is almost emotionless , having been practically brainwashed to believe everything he has been told about America . All he wants is to serve his country , get a great job after , and buy a nice wife through the Registry . Grant is rather two - dimensional , just evil . The story is told from three POVs : Mia 's , Grant 's , and Andrew 's . I liked the chapters told from Andrew 's POV because it was interesting to see how he was changing and how he was really feeling since he usually didn 't express any emotions ( well , he does get mad at Mia and Whitney a lot because they 're so ridiculous ) . Mia is also changing as she gets more assertive , a little bit more savvy ( she 's starting at zero ) , and opening her eyes to the world . Part of me liked this book , but part of me thought it was pretty ridiculous . There 's a pointless love triangle that just annoyed me . There is some resolution , but I 'm assuming there is another book . If I had to rate this , I would give it between 2 . 5 and 3 stars . Following an all - out battle with the walking Dead , the Spirit Hunters have fled Philadelphia , leaving Eleanor alone to cope with the devastating aftermath . But there 's more trouble ahead - the evil necromancer Marcus has returned , and his diabolical advances have Eleanor escaping to Paris to seek the help of Joseph , Jie , and the infuriatingly handsome Daniel once again . When she arrives , however , she finds a whole new darkness lurking in this City of Light . As harrowing events unfold , Eleanor is forced to make a deadly decision that will mean life or death for everyone . I loved this book , I think it was even better than the first ! It starts about three months after the Spirit Hunters left Eleanor in Philadelphia . Things are not good for Eleanor . She 's alone ( her mother is in a mental health facility ) and without a right hand ( which becomes a really important part of the story ) . She is still reeling from losing her brother and Clarence . And she cannot forget that Daniel told her that he didn 't love her . ( Although I was always wondering about that , he did say it was complicated , but then she said it was a yes or no question and then he said no ) . Anyway . . . Marcus is back so Eleanor flees to meet the Spirit Hunters in Paris so they can help her and defeat Marcus . This book is dark and frustrated me to death , but in a good way . I just wanted to scream at everyone . Just talk to each other ! Tell each other what is going on ! Gah ! But no one listened to me , which I guess is good because it would have been a pretty boring book if that had been the case . The Spirit Hunters actually don 't make an appearance until about a third of the way into the book , and Daniel doesn 't show up until about half way through , so know that going in . I wanted more of all of them together , but there is not a whole lot of that . There is a new character , Oliver , and I have mixed feelings about him . Daniel . . . I was so frustrated by the events in this book revolving around Daniel and Eleanor . There are moments between them , but not a lot . And I wanted to smack both of them most of the time . Still no love triangle , though - - yay ! But what Daniel was trying to do , with his new clothes , speaking , the " empty " box - - so cute ! Jie - - needed more Jie ! And Eleanor is dealing with her necromancy powers , and I 'm afraid of where that is heading . It is so not looking good . The book ends in the middle , so be prepared for that . I still loved it , but I can 't believe I 'll have to wait however long to get resolution . Still , awesome book ! The Garretts are everything the Reeds are not . Loud , messy , affectionate . And every day from her rooftop perch , Samantha Reed wishes she was one of them . . . until one summer evening , Jase Garrett climbs up next to her and changes everything . As the two fall fiercely for each other , stumbling through the awkwardness and awesomeness of first love , Jase 's family embraces Samantha - even as she keeps him a secret from her own . Then something unthinkable happens , and the bottom drops out of Samantha 's world . She 's suddenly faced with an impossible decision . Which perfect family will save her ? Or is it time she saved herself ? A transporting debut about family , friendship , first romance , and how to be true to one person you love without betraying another . Sweet , romantic read . The focus of this book is on the romance , which is a nice slow - building realistic one . I just loved how their relationship developed . And Jase , what a perfect guy ! I 've read a few contemporary YA recently and he is definitely my favorite so far . Good - looking ( of course ) , open , honest , a good brother , good son , great friend . He can fix anything . Absolutely a stand - up guy . He comes from a large family that Samantha has always watched from the roof . I have to say that I 'm not sure how they never really were around each other at all . Yes , they went to different schools , but they lived next door to each other . Oh well . Samantha lives with just her mom and her older sister , and the rambunctious Garrett family has always fascinated her ( and her mom can 't stand them ) . Samantha 's home is ordered and peaceful ( her mom vacuums every single day ) while the Garrett 's house is messy and completely chaotic . So one night Jase climbs up the trellis and they talk for the first time . ( I 'm not sure if I missed this , but do they ever explain what made him finally climb up ? ) Samantha is a realistic character . Unlike Jase , she has flaws . She 's beautiful , but a little closed off and she listens to her mother too much . I did not like her mother at all , she was a piece of work . There were times when I was so disappointed in Samantha for how she was treating Jase ( not bad , but . . . well , let 's just say she doesn 't treat him as well as he treats her ) , but it felt real . She grows throughout the novel . It was nice seeing her come into her own as she grew to love Jase and his family . And the sex in the book is handled in a realistic , responsible way . Also , I ended up loving Tim . He cusses , he drinks , he does drugs , he 's irresponsible ( he 's constantly getting fired , even from a hotdog stand ) , and he 's been a horrible friend to Samantha . But . . . he ends up being such a great surprise . Nan , his sister , who has been best friends with Samantha since they were five , also ends up acting in a surprising way . The relationship between Samantha and Nan is one part of the story that does not get resolved . And the Garrett family , such a warm , wonderful family ! George is adorable ( I think he 's four ) . There are some serious issues that come up in the book , and it raises questions about what you would do in a situation where you have to choose between your family and doing what 's right . Awesome read ! Stacking The Shelves is all about sharing the books you are adding to your shelves , may it be physical or virtual . This means you can include books you buy in physical store or online , books you borrow from friends or the library , review books , gifts and of course ebooks ! It is hosted by Tyngas Reviews . Only Em can complete the final instruction . She 's tried everything to prevent the creation of a time machine that will tear the world apart . She holds the proof : a list she has never seen before , written in her own hand . Each failed attempt in the past has led her to the same terrible present - imprisoned and tortured by a sadistic man called the doctor while war rages outside . Marina has loved her best friend James since the day he moved next door when they were children . A gorgeous , introverted science prodigy from one of America 's most famous families , James finally seems to be seeing Marina in a new way , too . But on one disastrous night , James 's life crumbles apart , and with it , Marina 's hopes for their future . Now someone is trying to kill him . Marina will protect James , no matter what . Even if it means opening her eyes to a truth so terrible that she may not survive it . At least not as the girl she once was . All Our Yesterdays is a wrenching , brilliantly plotted story of fierce love , unthinkable sacrifice , and the infinite implications of our every choice . you find out what Finn and Em talked about and what Finn told her . So sweet ! And the best thing of all , there 's no cliffhanger , everything is resolved . I heard there was a sequel in the works , but I guess with time travel , you can always do more . Back to the Future ? Terminator ? But to me , the story was complete . Definitely recommend this one ! So I should be honest and say that I am one of those people that likes to read the last chapter first . I know many of you purists will throw your arms up in disgust and say , " BUT WHY ? " Under normal circumstances it allows me to enjoy the book more but in the case of this book it was a very BAD decision and I would not recommend this strategy . One of the things I loved about this book was knowing it would begin and end in a single book . While the book was a page turner it took me about a week to finish and I started another book in between . One of the reasons I found myself putting the book down was I actually never connected with James . I really didn 't feel much of anything towards him . On the other hand I really liked Finn and loved the way Cristin Terrill developed young Finn and old Finn in such a way that he basically becomes a better version of himself while she takes Marina in a completely different direction . Given the various rules each author sets in time travel I found it interesting that the characters in her own book had such different responses to their young and old selves . Another reason I found myself putting the book down was time traveler Em 's attitude toward Marina . While I understood and began to care for the character of Em I did not feel that way toward Marina . Em 's attitude towards Marina drove me crazy to be frank . I wish Cristin Terrill had given Marina more depth and complexity as a character . Given her family situation she could have been a much more interesting character than she was presented as . I appreciated that the minor characters only played minimal roles in the plot which made it easier to keep things straight while moving back and forth between periods of time . Overall I enjoyed the book and would definitely recommend it as a great time - travel book ! Amy Curry thinks her life sucks . Her mom decides to move from California to Connecticut to start anew - - just in time for Amy 's senior year . Her dad recently died in a car accident . So Amy embarks on a road trip to escape from it all , driving cross - country from the home she 's always known toward her new life . Joining Amy on the road trip is Roger , the son of Amy 's mother 's old friend . Amy hasn 't seen him in years , and she is less than thrilled to be driving across the country with a guy she barely knows . So she 's surprised to find that she is developing a crush on him . At the same time , she 's coming to terms with her father 's death and how to put her own life back together after the accident . Told in traditional narrative as well as scraps from the road - - diner napkins , motel receipts , postcards - - this is the story of one girl 's journey to find herself . I enjoyed this book . I liked the fact that it was a road - trip book . I 've always wanted to take a road trip and see a lot of the US ( the problem is that I really hate driving ) so it was great reading about the different places they went . I think what made this book so unique were the pictures , receipts and comments Amy left in the travel journal . And the playlists were fabulous . I liked Roger . It was a refreshing change of pace to read about a nice guy . Now don 't get me wrong , I do like the bad boy , but it was great that Roger was a good guy . ( For some reason , the bad boy seems to work a lot better in paranormal novels for me ) . It actually would have been interesting to have Roger 's POV in the novel along with Amy 's . If you 're looking for a huge romance , you don 't really get it ( until the end ) . So just know that going in . Also , know that there are some serious parts of the book , given that Amy is trying to get over the death of her father , but it 's not overly depressing . She 's closed herself from people ( even her best friend ) and she learns to open up while she 's traveling with Roger . In the end , sweet , fast read and if you 're in the mood for a road trip book , you 'll enjoy it . Ruby never asked for the abilities that almost cost her her life . Now she must call upon them on a daily basis , leading dangerous missions to bring down a corrupt government and breaking into the minds of her enemies . Other kids in the Children 's League call Ruby " Leader " , but she knows what she really is : a monster . When Ruby is entrusted with an explosive secret , she must embark on her most dangerous mission yet : leaving the Children 's League behind . Crucial information about the disease that killed most of America 's children - and turned Ruby and the others who lived into feared and hated outcasts - has survived every attempt to destroy it . But the truth is only saved in one place : a flashdrive in the hands of Liam Stewart , the boy Ruby once believed was her future - and who now wouldn 't recognize her . As Ruby sets out across a desperate , lawless country to find Liam - and answers about the catastrophe that has ripped both her life and America apart - she is torn between old friends and the promise she made to serve the League . Ruby will do anything to protect the people she loves . But what if winning the war means losing herself ? Review : Ruby has come a long way . She 's going through a lot , trying to stay strong , grow into her powers , but at the same time she feels like using her abilities is wrong and it scares her . She is doing her best to protect the people she loves , but she is constantly questioning her decisions . Still , she is literally kick - ass in this book . There are old characters that come back for this book . Chubs , how I love Chubs . Liam . I almost cannot talk about how much I love Liam . I won 't spoil anything , but what happens between him and Ruby was just so . . . . ( By the way , the ending of The Darkest Minds just killed me . I understood why Ruby did what she did , but still . Killed me ) . Clancy , just ugh . Then there are new characters , like Vida . Feisty . I loved her interactions with Chub , quite funny . Jude , what a great character . He 's like Ruby 's little brother , so open and naive , so trusting . And Cole , Liam 's brother . We 'll just have to see about him . Words cannot express how much I loved this book ! I was overwhelmed . My emotions were all over the place . I had to put it down sometimes and walk away ( of course , I still read it in one day ) . The plot is so action packed and fast paced , with many twists and turns . I was on the edge of my seat the entire time I was reading it . It 's even better than the first one ! And that just usually doesn 't happen with sequels .
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Calling Anna and Bennett 's romance long distance is an understatement : she 's from 1995 Chicago and he 's a time traveler from 2012 San Francisco . The two of them never should have met , but they did . They fell in love , even though they knew they shouldn 't . And they found a way to stay together , against all odds . It 's not a perfect arrangement , though , with Bennett unable to stay in the past for more than brief visits , skipping out on big chunks of his present in order to be with Anna in hers . They each are confident that they 'll find a way to make things work . . . until Bennett witnesses a single event he never should have seen ( and certainly never expected to ) . Will the decisions he makes from that point on cement a future he doesn 't want ? Told from Bennett 's point of view , Time After Time will satisfy readers looking for a fresh , exciting , and beautifully - written love story , both those who are eager to find out what 's next for Time Between Us 's Anna and Bennett and those discovering their story for the first time . I loved Time Between Us . It was such a sweet romantic time - travel love story , reminding me a bit of The Time Traveler 's Wife , which is one of my all time favorite books . Time Between Us seemed like a great stand - alone at the time , but I was really excited to hear that there was a sequel . And it 's told from Bennett 's POV . Can 't wait ! ! On the outside , seventeen - year - old Madelyne Summers looks like your typical blond cheerleader - perky , popular , and dating the star quarterback . But inside , Maddie spends more time agonizing over what will happen in the next issue of her favorite comic book than planning pep rallies with her squad . That she 's a nerd hiding in a popular girl 's body isn 't just unknown , it 's anti - known . And she needs to keep it that way . Summer is the only time Maddie lets her real self out to play , but when she slips up and the adorkable guy behind the local comic shop 's counter uncovers her secret , she 's busted . Before she can shake a pom - pom , Maddie 's whisked into Logan 's world of comic conventions , live - action role - playing , and first - person - shooter video games . And she loves it . But the more she denies who she really is , the deeper her lies become … and the more she risks losing Logan forever . I loved this book . Cute cute cute ( I would say adorkable , but . . . ) . Read this book if you just want to put a smile on your face . Maddie had a bad experience in the sixth grade ( she dressed up as her favorite super - hero and was laughed at by pretty much the entire school ) so ever since then she has hidden her inner nerd and instead has become the stereotypical popular blonde cheerleader who is dating the quarterback . She pretends with everyone , even her best friend . But one day a new comic book issue she has been waiting for doesn 't come in the mail and she just can 't take it and decides to go into the comic book store ( a place she has dreamed of going into but never could ) . She disguises herself and talks to Logan , whose parents own the comic book store and who she actually has sort of been crushing on . Logan is cute , but nerdy , and he just doesn 't care . He is friends with who he wants to be friends with , and does what he wants to do . And the rest of the summer is about Maddie struggling with who she really is and what truly makes her happy ( and who ) versus who she thinks she has to be in order to be popular . I really liked Maddie , even though she is pretty shallow and oblivious to everyone around her . For example , she and Logan are at a restaurant and she doesn 't recognize the waitress , who goes to their school and has been in classes with Maddie . And she lies and makes some pretty dumb decisions and is so obsessed with her image it 's annoying . But it 's also pretty realistic . I remember being in high school and how girls ( me included ) would pretend to be dumb because it 's just what you did . But I did want to smack her sometimes . Logan . . . what a fantastic guy . There 's nothing brooding or mysterious about him . He is so thoughtful and sweet and I was just hoping Maddie wouldn 't break his heart . Just such a sweet romance ! Tehereh Mafi . Shatter Me . 2011 . " I 've been locked up for 264 days . I have nothing but a small notebook and a broken pen and the numbers in my head to keep me company . 1 window . 4 walls . 144 square feet of space . 26 letters in the alphabet . I haven 't spoken in 264 days of isolation . 6 , 336 hours since I 've touched another human being . " Michelle Hodkin . The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer . 2011 . " My name is not Mara Dyer , but my lawyer told me I had to choose something . A pseudonym . A nom de plume , for all of us studying for the SATs . I know that having a fake name is strange , but trust me - - it 's the most normal thing about my life right now . Even telling you this much probably isn 't smart . But without my big mouth , no one would know that a seventeen - year - old who likes Death Cab for Cutie was responsible for the murders . No one would know that somewhere out there is a B student with a body count . And it 's important that you know , so you 're not next . Rachel 's birthday was the beginning . This is what I remember . " Kate Karyus Quinn . Another Little Piece . 2013 . " The field didn 't end so much as trail off , beaten back by the rusted - out trailer and circle of junked vehicles surrounding it . As if they had forgotten how to be still , the girl 's bare and bloodied feet tripped and stumbled over each other . Slowly , slowly , the momentum that had brought her through the night and into the cold gray dawn leeched away . She tugged at the garbage bag she 's refashioned as a poncho . It was worse than useless at keeping her dry , but its constant crinkle had been a steady companion , and now that she 'd reached her destination it seemed wrong to let it be lost to the wind . Standing still , she studied the No Trespassing sign spray - painted on a weather chunk of plywood , waiting for something to happen . Certain that something would . She didn 't know where she was , or even her own name , but she felt sure of this . " Sarah J . Maas . Throne of Glass . 2012 . " After a year of slavery in the Salt Mines of Endovier , Celaena Sardothien was accustomed to being escorted everywhere in shackles and at sword - point . Most of the thousands of slaves in Endovier received similar treatment - - though an extra half - dozen guards always walked Calaena to and from the mines . That was expected by Adarlan 's most notorious assassin . What she did not usually expect , however , was a hooded man in black at her side - - as there was now . " Stacy Kramer and Valerie Thomas . From What I Remember . . . 2012 . " I am jolted awake by sunlight flooding the room . What time is it ? Where am I ? Disoriented , I attempt to open my eyes . The light is stabbing . My head is throbbing , my throat is raw , and my stomach is roiling . Is this what a hangover feels like ? I wouldn 't know . I 've never had one . Until now . I close my eyes , take a few deep breaths , and lie still , trying to get my bearings . Last night was one of the greatest nights of my life . I think . But then again , it could have turned into one of the worst . I don 't remember much past a certain point . . . . I turn my head to avert my eyes , and that 's when I see him . The gorgeous , half - naked boy lying next to me . Asleep . Oh . My . God . Max . " The Registry saved the country from collapse . But stability has come at a price . In this patriotic new America , girls are raised to be brides , sold at auction to the highest bidder . Boys are raised to be soldiers , trained by the state to fight to their death . Nearly eighteen , beautiful Mia Morrissey excitedly awaits the beginning of her auction year . But a warning from her married older sister raises dangerous thoughts . Now , instead of going up on the block , Mia is going to escape to Mexico - and the promise of freedom . All Mia wants is to control her own destiny - a brave and daring choice that will transform her into an enemy of the state , pursued by powerful government agents , ruthless bounty hunters , and a cunning man determined to own her . . . a man who will stop at nothing to get her back . This book was entertaining , but it lacked that wow factor . The premise is interesting . It is sometime in the future , and girls are sold to the highest bidder . And couples want girls because they get money , and if they have a boy , the boy is given away to the government to learn to be tough and eventually be a soldier . To keep women in their place , they have no real education . Instead , they learn how to please their future husband ( cooking , cleaning , sewing , make - up , clothes , etc ) . Mia is so sheltered and ignorant , it 's rather ridiculous . She has to take a test for the Registry , and she can 't even do basic math . She has no access to news , computers , etc . She 's lived her entire life on the farm and has had no interaction with anyone , except for Whitney , a girl whose father works for her family and is smart and not that attractive so no one will buy her ( which means she 'll be married to the government ) . Then Mia finds out from her older sister that the Registry and marriage is not all that it seems , and Mia decides to escape . Before she can escape , she meets her future husband , the evil Grant . She and Whitney run away and end up blackmailing Andrew , one of her father 's workers , to help them ( He was leaving since he has about a month before he has to report for duty and he wants to relax and see some of the country ) . So most of the book is them on the run and Grant chasing them . Mia is incredibly ignorant and Whitney is whiny . Andrew is almost emotionless , having been practically brainwashed to believe everything he has been told about America . All he wants is to serve his country , get a great job after , and buy a nice wife through the Registry . Grant is rather two - dimensional , just evil . The story is told from three POVs : Mia 's , Grant 's , and Andrew 's . I liked the chapters told from Andrew 's POV because it was interesting to see how he was changing and how he was really feeling since he usually didn 't express any emotions ( well , he does get mad at Mia and Whitney a lot because they 're so ridiculous ) . Mia is also changing as she gets more assertive , a little bit more savvy ( she 's starting at zero ) , and opening her eyes to the world . Part of me liked this book , but part of me thought it was pretty ridiculous . There 's a pointless love triangle that just annoyed me . There is some resolution , but I 'm assuming there is another book . If I had to rate this , I would give it between 2 . 5 and 3 stars . Following an all - out battle with the walking Dead , the Spirit Hunters have fled Philadelphia , leaving Eleanor alone to cope with the devastating aftermath . But there 's more trouble ahead - the evil necromancer Marcus has returned , and his diabolical advances have Eleanor escaping to Paris to seek the help of Joseph , Jie , and the infuriatingly handsome Daniel once again . When she arrives , however , she finds a whole new darkness lurking in this City of Light . As harrowing events unfold , Eleanor is forced to make a deadly decision that will mean life or death for everyone . I loved this book , I think it was even better than the first ! It starts about three months after the Spirit Hunters left Eleanor in Philadelphia . Things are not good for Eleanor . She 's alone ( her mother is in a mental health facility ) and without a right hand ( which becomes a really important part of the story ) . She is still reeling from losing her brother and Clarence . And she cannot forget that Daniel told her that he didn 't love her . ( Although I was always wondering about that , he did say it was complicated , but then she said it was a yes or no question and then he said no ) . Anyway . . . Marcus is back so Eleanor flees to meet the Spirit Hunters in Paris so they can help her and defeat Marcus . This book is dark and frustrated me to death , but in a good way . I just wanted to scream at everyone . Just talk to each other ! Tell each other what is going on ! Gah ! But no one listened to me , which I guess is good because it would have been a pretty boring book if that had been the case . The Spirit Hunters actually don 't make an appearance until about a third of the way into the book , and Daniel doesn 't show up until about half way through , so know that going in . I wanted more of all of them together , but there is not a whole lot of that . There is a new character , Oliver , and I have mixed feelings about him . Daniel . . . I was so frustrated by the events in this book revolving around Daniel and Eleanor . There are moments between them , but not a lot . And I wanted to smack both of them most of the time . Still no love triangle , though - - yay ! But what Daniel was trying to do , with his new clothes , speaking , the " empty " box - - so cute ! Jie - - needed more Jie ! And Eleanor is dealing with her necromancy powers , and I 'm afraid of where that is heading . It is so not looking good . The book ends in the middle , so be prepared for that . I still loved it , but I can 't believe I 'll have to wait however long to get resolution . Still , awesome book ! The Garretts are everything the Reeds are not . Loud , messy , affectionate . And every day from her rooftop perch , Samantha Reed wishes she was one of them . . . until one summer evening , Jase Garrett climbs up next to her and changes everything . As the two fall fiercely for each other , stumbling through the awkwardness and awesomeness of first love , Jase 's family embraces Samantha - even as she keeps him a secret from her own . Then something unthinkable happens , and the bottom drops out of Samantha 's world . She 's suddenly faced with an impossible decision . Which perfect family will save her ? Or is it time she saved herself ? A transporting debut about family , friendship , first romance , and how to be true to one person you love without betraying another . Sweet , romantic read . The focus of this book is on the romance , which is a nice slow - building realistic one . I just loved how their relationship developed . And Jase , what a perfect guy ! I 've read a few contemporary YA recently and he is definitely my favorite so far . Good - looking ( of course ) , open , honest , a good brother , good son , great friend . He can fix anything . Absolutely a stand - up guy . He comes from a large family that Samantha has always watched from the roof . I have to say that I 'm not sure how they never really were around each other at all . Yes , they went to different schools , but they lived next door to each other . Oh well . Samantha lives with just her mom and her older sister , and the rambunctious Garrett family has always fascinated her ( and her mom can 't stand them ) . Samantha 's home is ordered and peaceful ( her mom vacuums every single day ) while the Garrett 's house is messy and completely chaotic . So one night Jase climbs up the trellis and they talk for the first time . ( I 'm not sure if I missed this , but do they ever explain what made him finally climb up ? ) Samantha is a realistic character . Unlike Jase , she has flaws . She 's beautiful , but a little closed off and she listens to her mother too much . I did not like her mother at all , she was a piece of work . There were times when I was so disappointed in Samantha for how she was treating Jase ( not bad , but . . . well , let 's just say she doesn 't treat him as well as he treats her ) , but it felt real . She grows throughout the novel . It was nice seeing her come into her own as she grew to love Jase and his family . And the sex in the book is handled in a realistic , responsible way . Also , I ended up loving Tim . He cusses , he drinks , he does drugs , he 's irresponsible ( he 's constantly getting fired , even from a hotdog stand ) , and he 's been a horrible friend to Samantha . But . . . he ends up being such a great surprise . Nan , his sister , who has been best friends with Samantha since they were five , also ends up acting in a surprising way . The relationship between Samantha and Nan is one part of the story that does not get resolved . And the Garrett family , such a warm , wonderful family ! George is adorable ( I think he 's four ) . There are some serious issues that come up in the book , and it raises questions about what you would do in a situation where you have to choose between your family and doing what 's right . Awesome read ! Stacking The Shelves is all about sharing the books you are adding to your shelves , may it be physical or virtual . This means you can include books you buy in physical store or online , books you borrow from friends or the library , review books , gifts and of course ebooks ! It is hosted by Tyngas Reviews . Only Em can complete the final instruction . She 's tried everything to prevent the creation of a time machine that will tear the world apart . She holds the proof : a list she has never seen before , written in her own hand . Each failed attempt in the past has led her to the same terrible present - imprisoned and tortured by a sadistic man called the doctor while war rages outside . Marina has loved her best friend James since the day he moved next door when they were children . A gorgeous , introverted science prodigy from one of America 's most famous families , James finally seems to be seeing Marina in a new way , too . But on one disastrous night , James 's life crumbles apart , and with it , Marina 's hopes for their future . Now someone is trying to kill him . Marina will protect James , no matter what . Even if it means opening her eyes to a truth so terrible that she may not survive it . At least not as the girl she once was . All Our Yesterdays is a wrenching , brilliantly plotted story of fierce love , unthinkable sacrifice , and the infinite implications of our every choice . you find out what Finn and Em talked about and what Finn told her . So sweet ! And the best thing of all , there 's no cliffhanger , everything is resolved . I heard there was a sequel in the works , but I guess with time travel , you can always do more . Back to the Future ? Terminator ? But to me , the story was complete . Definitely recommend this one ! So I should be honest and say that I am one of those people that likes to read the last chapter first . I know many of you purists will throw your arms up in disgust and say , " BUT WHY ? " Under normal circumstances it allows me to enjoy the book more but in the case of this book it was a very BAD decision and I would not recommend this strategy . One of the things I loved about this book was knowing it would begin and end in a single book . While the book was a page turner it took me about a week to finish and I started another book in between . One of the reasons I found myself putting the book down was I actually never connected with James . I really didn 't feel much of anything towards him . On the other hand I really liked Finn and loved the way Cristin Terrill developed young Finn and old Finn in such a way that he basically becomes a better version of himself while she takes Marina in a completely different direction . Given the various rules each author sets in time travel I found it interesting that the characters in her own book had such different responses to their young and old selves . Another reason I found myself putting the book down was time traveler Em 's attitude toward Marina . While I understood and began to care for the character of Em I did not feel that way toward Marina . Em 's attitude towards Marina drove me crazy to be frank . I wish Cristin Terrill had given Marina more depth and complexity as a character . Given her family situation she could have been a much more interesting character than she was presented as . I appreciated that the minor characters only played minimal roles in the plot which made it easier to keep things straight while moving back and forth between periods of time . Overall I enjoyed the book and would definitely recommend it as a great time - travel book ! Amy Curry thinks her life sucks . Her mom decides to move from California to Connecticut to start anew - - just in time for Amy 's senior year . Her dad recently died in a car accident . So Amy embarks on a road trip to escape from it all , driving cross - country from the home she 's always known toward her new life . Joining Amy on the road trip is Roger , the son of Amy 's mother 's old friend . Amy hasn 't seen him in years , and she is less than thrilled to be driving across the country with a guy she barely knows . So she 's surprised to find that she is developing a crush on him . At the same time , she 's coming to terms with her father 's death and how to put her own life back together after the accident . Told in traditional narrative as well as scraps from the road - - diner napkins , motel receipts , postcards - - this is the story of one girl 's journey to find herself . I enjoyed this book . I liked the fact that it was a road - trip book . I 've always wanted to take a road trip and see a lot of the US ( the problem is that I really hate driving ) so it was great reading about the different places they went . I think what made this book so unique were the pictures , receipts and comments Amy left in the travel journal . And the playlists were fabulous . I liked Roger . It was a refreshing change of pace to read about a nice guy . Now don 't get me wrong , I do like the bad boy , but it was great that Roger was a good guy . ( For some reason , the bad boy seems to work a lot better in paranormal novels for me ) . It actually would have been interesting to have Roger 's POV in the novel along with Amy 's . If you 're looking for a huge romance , you don 't really get it ( until the end ) . So just know that going in . Also , know that there are some serious parts of the book , given that Amy is trying to get over the death of her father , but it 's not overly depressing . She 's closed herself from people ( even her best friend ) and she learns to open up while she 's traveling with Roger . In the end , sweet , fast read and if you 're in the mood for a road trip book , you 'll enjoy it . Ruby never asked for the abilities that almost cost her her life . Now she must call upon them on a daily basis , leading dangerous missions to bring down a corrupt government and breaking into the minds of her enemies . Other kids in the Children 's League call Ruby " Leader " , but she knows what she really is : a monster . When Ruby is entrusted with an explosive secret , she must embark on her most dangerous mission yet : leaving the Children 's League behind . Crucial information about the disease that killed most of America 's children - and turned Ruby and the others who lived into feared and hated outcasts - has survived every attempt to destroy it . But the truth is only saved in one place : a flashdrive in the hands of Liam Stewart , the boy Ruby once believed was her future - and who now wouldn 't recognize her . As Ruby sets out across a desperate , lawless country to find Liam - and answers about the catastrophe that has ripped both her life and America apart - she is torn between old friends and the promise she made to serve the League . Ruby will do anything to protect the people she loves . But what if winning the war means losing herself ? Review : Ruby has come a long way . She 's going through a lot , trying to stay strong , grow into her powers , but at the same time she feels like using her abilities is wrong and it scares her . She is doing her best to protect the people she loves , but she is constantly questioning her decisions . Still , she is literally kick - ass in this book . There are old characters that come back for this book . Chubs , how I love Chubs . Liam . I almost cannot talk about how much I love Liam . I won 't spoil anything , but what happens between him and Ruby was just so . . . . ( By the way , the ending of The Darkest Minds just killed me . I understood why Ruby did what she did , but still . Killed me ) . Clancy , just ugh . Then there are new characters , like Vida . Feisty . I loved her interactions with Chub , quite funny . Jude , what a great character . He 's like Ruby 's little brother , so open and naive , so trusting . And Cole , Liam 's brother . We 'll just have to see about him . Words cannot express how much I loved this book ! I was overwhelmed . My emotions were all over the place . I had to put it down sometimes and walk away ( of course , I still read it in one day ) . The plot is so action packed and fast paced , with many twists and turns . I was on the edge of my seat the entire time I was reading it . It 's even better than the first one ! And that just usually doesn 't happen with sequels .
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Most of the video games mentioned were fully reviewed in my media updates , so I don 't go into great detail this time around . The month in parentheses is the month when I reviewed it in my media update if you want more information . And , as always , your mileage may vary . After his wife and baby daughter were murdered by addicts , former NYC cop Max Payne turned to alcohol and drugs to numb his pain . All he really wants to do is drink himself to death , but he decides to take a job in Brazil , working as a bodyguard for a rich family . When things go horribly wrong , he 's determined to set things right even if it kills him . . . which it just might . Shooters aren 't usually my genre of choice , but gorgeous graphics , excellent voice acting , a sharp script , and action sequences that sent my adrenaline through the roof made this a treat . ( September ) Juliet Starling 's 18th birthday isn 't going quite as planned : a zombie outbreak takes over her high school , and her boyfriend Nick falls prey to the horde . But Juliet comes from a family of skilled zombie hunters , and she revives Nick 's head with a magic spell , hooks him to her belt , and sets out to save the day . Outrageously funny , gloriously nasty , and shamefully fun . ( A full review will be posted in the December media update . ) I 've been a rabid Resident Evil fangirl for 15 years , so a new game in the series is always cause for celebration . RE6 is a particularly meaty installment : four campaigns featuring fan favorites like emo beefcake Chris Redfield and luscious Leon Kennedy , stunning graphics , shockingly good voice acting , and more action than your wrists can handle . Strap on a carpal tunnel brace and get to work , soldier ! ( November ) G is a big NY Giants fan , so when football season rolls around , I have to amuse myself ( no comments from the peanut gallery ) while he watches the game . One Sunday afternoon , I had exhausted my supply of reading material , so I decided to see what kind of recommendations Netflix Instant had for me . One of them was Louie , and I remembered my friend G2 raving about it , so I gave it a try . Louis C . K . plays a fictionalized version of himself : a sad sack comedian and divorced father of two little girls . It 's often gutbustingly hysterical , but it can also be surprisingly poignant , like the episode where he inadvertently takes a duckling on a USO tour and the season 2 finale . ( The " Wave at me ! " / " Wait for you ? " exchange actually made me tear up . ) Season 4 won 't air until 2014 , but I trust Louis C . K . to make it worth the wait . This is the best damn tea I 've ever had . Its blend of chocolate , cinnamon , cardamom , cayenne , and ginger is warming and comforting and oh so delicious , and the best thing you can drink on a cold night or a rainy day or when you just don 't feel very good . I buy three boxes every time I see it because I 'm afraid they 'll discontinue it . ( Widely available ; I 've seen it at Whole Foods , Bristol Farms , and Albertsons , for starters . ) Carrie Mathison ( Claire Danes ) is a CIA officer who gets intel from one of her sources that an American prisoner of war has been " turned " . Shortly thereafter , a Marine named Nicholas Brody ( Damian Lewis ) , is rescued and brought back to the US . Carrie 's sure that he 's the one her informant was talking about , but the trick will be convincing everybody else . I 'm not usually one for political dramas , but this is a riveting series with tour de force acting , especially by Claire Danes . In this game , you play the ghost of Sissel , a man who was murdered but has no idea why . He has a trick up his spectral sleeve , though : he can rewind time in brief increments and manipulate objects to learn more about his past or to protect others . ( For example , opening an umbrella to knock a girl 's headphones into an aquarium so she 'll hear the hitman breaking into her apartment . ) It 's a really clever idea and lots of fun . When I was a kid , I used to get up early to watch Davey & Goliath . I wasn 't religious , but its Claymation characters and dopey feel good moralism were the TV equivalent of comfort food . I 'll tell you right off the bat : this show gets fucking DARK , especially the third season . If someone had peeked through G 's curtains while we were watching it , the expressions on our faces would have made them think we were watching a horror movie ! ( The episode titled " Alone " is one of the most unnerving things I 've seen in any medium . ) But interspersed with the " oh my god , I can 't believe that just happened " moments are some genuinely poignant ones , and it can be bitingly funny . If this isn 't your kind of thing , you 'll figure it out pretty quickly ; if it IS , you 'll eat it up like pudding . ( Every episode can be watched on Vimeo , but they do need to be watched in order . ) In 1920 's Los Angeles , a young hospital patient named Alexandria befriends Roy , a stuntman who became paralyzed during a movie shoot . In order to win Alexandria 's trust , Roy begins weaving a fantastical tale of five heroes who are determined to overthrow an evil governor . This is one of the most gorgeous movies I 've ever seen ; it was shot in 18 different countries and has spectacular costumes by designer Eiko Ishioka . The little girl who plays Alexandria is amazing ( though occasionally hard to understand ; English is not her first language in either real life or the movie ) , and as Roy , Lee Pace is excellent as well . They have incredible chemistry together , and I guarantee they 'll break your heart and put it right back together again . I knew The Fall would be visually stunning , since Tarsem ( The Cell , Immortals , REM 's " Losing My Religion " video ) directed it ; I swear you could take any random shot from one of his movies and hang it on your wall , like the pictures above . But I really wasn 't expecting to be so engrossed and moved by the story . I get the feeling that people who 'd hate it would REALLY hate it , but major thumbs up from me . It wound up securing a place in my top ten of all time . Side note : Less than 24 hours after watching it for the first time , I watched it again with Glenn , who didn 't know anything about it other than the title . About 30 minutes in , he said " Am I going to have to hold this movie against you ? " But he wound up loving it , so if you watch it and are all meh at first , please give it a fair chance and you too might be blown away . . . . AND THE REST 2 . The Avengers : When Loki sets his sights on Earth , the Avengers must band together to take him down . Lots of terrific action scenes and a sharp script made this exciting movie an absolute treat to watch . And oh my god , talk about eye candy ! 3 . The Cabin in the Woods : Five friends go to a cabin in the woods for a getaway , and . . . yeah , not saying anything else because this is the kind of movie you want to know as little as possible about . I 'll only add that it was written by Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard , and it puts the lie to the cliche that there are no new ideas . 4 . 50 / 50 : Adam ( Joseph Gordon - Levitt ) is horrified when the back pain he 's been experiencing turns out to be a malignant tumor . And if chemotherapy , surgery , and confronting his own mortality aren 't enough , Adam also has to deal with a well - meaning but awkward therapist , an overbearing mother , and a girlfriend who can 't cope with his diagnosis . You wouldn 't think a movie about cancer would be funny ; you 'd be wrong . But don 't forget your tissues , or by the time this wonderful movie ends , you 'll be using your sleeve instead . 5 . Skyfall : When MI6 comes under attack , James Bond has to cope with a missing list of undercover agents , a beautiful seductress , and a flamboyant villain who has a serious beef with M . Lots of terrific action sequences , a bravura performance by Javier Bardem as the bad guy , and the icily gorgeous Daniel Craig add up to a whole lot of fun . 6 . The Raid : Redemption : A SWAT team goes after one of Jakarta 's most notorious drug lords , who 's hiding in an apartment building . But in order to reach him , they 'll have to fight floor after floor of the bad guy 's minions . A brutally violent , incredibly exciting film filled with tons of awesome fight sequences that can only be described as muay thai meets knife fu . 7 . God Bless America : Frank is a lonely man who 's tired of the cruelty and stupidity that permeate American culture . When he 's diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor , he plans to kill himself , but then he changes his mind and decides to take out assholes instead . Along the way , he picks up a teenage girl who wholeheartedly approves of his mission , and together they set out to clean up America , one jerk at a time . 8 . Young Adult : Mavis used to be the hottest girl in high school , but as an adult , she 's kind of a wreck . She ghostwrites for a once - popular teen book series , but she keeps getting distracted by reality TV , alcohol , and online shopping . Then she receives an email birth announcement from her old boyfriend and heads to the small Minnesota town where he lives , determined to win him back despite the fact that he 's a happily married new dad . A dark comedy with plenty of cringeworthy moments and terrific performances , especially by Patton Oswalt ( as a geek who tries to be the voice of reason ) and Charlize Theron . 9 . ParaNorman : Norman is a young boy who 's bullied because he claims that he can see and communicate with dead people . But when a witch 's curse revives the dead and threatens his small town , Norman is determined to save the day . The trailers for this movie were awful , so I wasn 't expecting much , but terrific stop - motion animation and a clever script ( including two awesome jokes that I can 't believe they managed to include in a movie made for kids ) made this a very happy surprise . And be sure to check out the extras to see how this movie came to life ; the work that went into it is staggering . 10 . Safety Not Guaranteed : Three magazine employees , including sullen intern Darius ( Aubrey Plaza , who 's excellent ) , get an idea for a story when they spot an unusual classified ad : someone looking for a partner to accompany him on a time travel mission . When they track him down , Darius is chosen to befriend him , and she finds herself drawn into his orbit . An overlooked gem that 's very funny and surprisingly moving . Strangely enough , every one of these books was written by a woman , which was also the case for my nonfiction list . I don 't think that 's ever happened before ! And , of course , it 's a coincidence , not me going " Rawr abolish the phallocracy rawr " . 1 . Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn : On their fifth anniversary , Nick Dunne 's wife Amy disappears . . . . and that 's all I 'm going to tell you , because the less you know about the plot , the better . Trust me on this . It 's a dizzying , gleefully nasty , blackly funny masterpiece , and easily my favorite novel of 2012 . 2 . Faithful Place by Tana French : As a teenager , Frank Mackey made plans with his girlfriend Rosie to run away to England and never look back . But on the night they 're supposed to leave , Frank finds a note implying that Rosie left without him , and he never sees her again . 22 years later , Frank is an undercover cop , and he gets a frantic phone call from his sister telling him that someone found Rosie 's suitcase in an abandoned building . Reluctantly , he returns to his old neighborhood and dysfunctional family to find out the truth behind the disappearance of his first love . Razor sharp dialogue and an intriguing plot made 400 pages fly by at the speed of light . 3 . Pure by Julianna Baggott : After surviving a nuclear holocaust known as the Detonations , Pressia ekes out a meager existence with her grandfather , foraging for food where she can and trying to avoid the soldiers who either want to recruit her or use her as live target practice . Partridge is a " Pure " , one of the lucky citizens who managed to escape the blasts inside a shelter known as the Dome . But their worlds collide when Partridge escapes the Dome , looking for the mother he thinks may still be alive . As soon as I saw the blurb on the back that described Pressia as " part manga heroine , part post - apocalyptic Alice " , I knew I had to pick it up . It turned out to be a great choice , because this is the best dystopian novel I 've read since The Hunger Games . It 's utterly riveting , with some indelible characters and truly creepy scenes . The next installment ( Fuse , coming out in February 2013 ) will be an instant purchase for me . 4 . Kill You Twice by Chelsea Cain : Portland detective Archie Sheridan has a complicated relationship with the so - called " Beauty Killer " , Gretchen Lowell , the psychopath who tortured him almost to death and then inexplicably let him go . Now Gretchen is in a psych ward , her legendary beauty marred by the effects of heavy medication . She claims to know who killed a man who was skinned in a local park , and although Archie knows he shouldn 't trust her , he finds himself pulled into her orbit once again . Cain 's last novel , The Night Season , was almost completely devoid of Gretchen , and I think it suffered for it . But no such worries with this ; the woman who would scare Hannibal Lecter is back in fine form . If you 've never read any of Cain 's books before , this is NOT the one to start with ; it spoils things from previous books and you really need to know the characters . But if you 're familiar with her work , dig in for this gory treat . ( And I do mean GORY ; I 'm not kidding when I say that I had to stop reading it during my lunch breaks . ) 5 . Criminal by Karin Slaughter : GBI agent Will Trent is shocked when his supervisor , Amanda Wagner , forbids him to work on a case involving a missing college student . But Amanda has her reasons , and in flashbacks , we find out exactly why she doesn 't want Will to go digging through the past . As usual , Slaughter knocks it out of the park with this riveting novel . 6 . The Diviners by Libba Bray : In 1927 , after causing a scandal in her Ohio hometown , freewheeling flapper Evie O ' Neill is sent to live with her uncle in New York City . Even though he runs a museum devoted to the occult , Evie is reluctant to tell him that she can learn about a person merely by touching an object of theirs . But when a serial killer with a decidedly supernatural bent starts terrorizing NYC , Evie is determined to take him down . Great literature ? No . A fun , engrossing read ? As Evie would say , posi - tute - ly ! It 's the first in a series , and I can 't wait to read the next one . 7 . Hanging Hill by Mo Hayder : When the brutalized body of a popular teenage girl is discovered , police detective Zoe Benedict 's investigation leads her to suspect the creepy pornographer who lives on Hanging Hill . But unknown to her , her estranged sister Sally is working as the man 's housekeeper , and their paths collide in shocking ways . This book is a corker , and the last couple of chapters had me racing slackjawed through the pages going " Oh my god , oh my god " . 8 . Gone Missing by Linda Castillo : Police chief Kate Burkholder is stunned when several Amish teenagers go missing . But did they flee the Amish lifestyle of their own accord , or was foul play involved ? 9 . Tell the Wolves I 'm Home by Carol Rifka Brunt : Set in the mid - 80 's , this novel tells the story of June Elbus , a shy 14 - year - old devastated by her beloved uncle 's AIDS - related death . Shortly after Finn 's funeral , his lover Toby contacts her , asking for a chance to meet . Initially she 's reluctant , because her mother has convinced her that it 's Toby 's fault Finn died . But she finally agrees to see him , and they form a friendship that will change both of their lives forever . A lyrically beautiful , heartbreaking book . 10 . The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker : Julia is a teenage girl who , like everybody else , is shocked when the earth 's rotation inexplicably begins to slow . The change is unnoticeable at first , but its effects soon become catastrophic . But in addition to everything else , Julia has to struggle with the trials and tribulations of adolescence , family problems , and first love . A really gripping and unusual book with some gorgeous turns of phrase . Well , it 's official : I have to have my gallbladder out . My doctor wanted to get me in ASAP to get it taken care of , since the stones are so big they 're causing nearby organs to act up ( hence the " liver derangements " . . . a term I rather enjoy because it makes my liver sound like a kooky spinster aunt that lives in the attic of a Victorian mansion and dresses up kittens in frilly dresses and makes them attend her pretend wedding to the groundskeeper that broke her heart when she was a girl ) . But I can 't say as I wanted surgery for my Christmas present , so I 'll be getting it early next year . I have yet another appointment on January 3rd , so I 'll know more after that . 1 . Behind the Beautiful Forevers by Katherine Boo : How 's this for an opening sentence : " Midnight was closing in , the one - legged woman was grievously burned , and the Mumbai police were coming for Abdul and his father . " I was hooked immediately . This book follows several residents of a Mumbai slum , ranging from a teenage trash picker to a young woman who wants to be the slum 's first female college graduate . It reads like a great novel , and although at times it 's distressing , it 's almost impossible to put down . 2 . Wild by Cheryl Strayed : Left reeling by her divorce and her mother 's death , the author decided to hike the Pacific Crest Trail by herself , dealing with rattlesnakes , creepy dudes , and fucked up feet along the way . It 's heartbreaking at times ( be warned , if you 've lost a parent , some of the chapters will rip you apart ) , funny at others , and riveting throughout . 3 . Let 's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson : This memoir covers everything from the author 's unconventional upbringing to marriage and motherhood , and Jesus H . Christ is it FUNNY . One chapter , in which she 's home alone with a horrible case of diarrhea and thinks a rapist is passing notes under the door to her ( you just kind of have to read the story to understand ) , had me laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my face . Good shit , y ' all . 4 . Brain on Fire by Susannah Cahalan : One night , the author was watching TV with her boyfriend when she had a seizure . Things rapidly deteriorated over the next several weeks as she became paranoid and had hallucinations . Her doctors were baffled until one neurologist figured out that she had an extremely rare autoimmune disorder that causes the body to attack the brain . Absolutely fascinating , especially if you 're a big fan of memoirs and / or true medical mysteries . 5 . Hot Cripple by Hogan Gorman : The author , an ex - model and aspiring actress , was hit by a car going 40 miles per hour . She suffered severe injuries , but because she didn 't have health insurance , she went into debt and wound up on welfare and food stamps . To add insult to ( major ) injury , she had to deal with government workers who just didn 't give a shit , a drunken judge , and " friends " who couldn 't handle her situation . Occasionally grating , but it has some darkly funny moments and it 's a sobering look at our fucked up health care system . 6 . Are You My Guru ? by Wendy Shanker : At the age of 33 , the author was enjoying her dream job and her life in Manhattan as a single woman . Then she was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disorder called Wegener 's granulomatosis , and she decided to try alternative medicine in addition to the more traditional kind . Shanker doesn 't hold back any details - - - the scene where she gives herself an enema of hot oil and herbs made me both laugh and cringe - - - and it 's filled with both black humor and pathos . 7 . Breaking Night by Liz Murray : The author grew up in poverty with her sister and their drug addicted parents . She eventually wound up homeless , but despite her rough start in life , she managed to win a scholarship and get into Harvard . It sounds like a total treaclefest , but it most assuredly isn 't . 8 . Crazy Enough by Storm Large : Convinced that she 'd turn out like her severely mentally ill mother , the author gorged herself on sex , drugs , and rock ' n ' roll , figuring she might as well live it up while she still could . Fascinating and often searingly funny . 9 . How to Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran : In candid and often uproarious prose , the author talks about many issues important to women - - - to wax or not to wax , fashion , love , abortion , childbirth - - - and shares anecdotes from her own life . She also has one of the best definitions of feminism I 've ever read ( though a bit reductive , since men can be feminists too ) : " So here is the quick way of working out if you 're a feminist . Put your hand in your underpants . A ) Do you have a vagina ? and B ) Do you want to be in charge of it ? If you said yes to both , then congratulations ! You 're a feminist . " 10 . Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed : Before her memoir Wild made her famous , Strayed wrote an advice column called " Dear Sugar " . This is a collection of some of her most memorable letters and her perfect , beautifully written responses , and let me tell you : have some goddamn tissues handy , because I swear I was misting up every five pages . posted by ~ C @ 12 : 23 PM Friday , December 07 , 2012 Okay , deep breaths , I thought to myself . No matter what it says , at least you 've got health insurance and an amazing family and boyfriend . Just open the fucking thing . I got me some gallstones ! " Numerous prominent gallstones " , to be exact . As a bonus , I also have " a partially duplicated right - sided renal collecting system " , which caused me to race to my computer and google it . I 'll save you the trouble : basically , it means that I have two ureters draining a single kidney . It very rarely poses any problems , and it occurs in about 1 % of the population . Anyway , I have an appointment with my doctor on Tuesday and we 'll see what to do about these goddamned gallstones . Obviously I 'm not thrilled about this , but it could have been much , much worse . And I 've known people who had their gallbladders out , and although it wasn 't Happy Kitten Orgasm Funtime , they both said it wasn 't all that bad as far as surgeries go . So if it comes to that , well , I refer you back to the part about health insurance and my amazing family and boyfriend . I 'll be aight . As thanks for listening , I present to you a fabulous photograph courtesy of Padre . Background story for those of you who didn 't read my November media update ( and why didn 't you , why do you hate me , oh my god there is no love for me in this world ) : we went to the San Diego Zoo on Thanksgiving , where we watched an upstart young gorilla throw a handful of dirt and leaves on the head of a startled silverback . The silverback reached up and brushed his head off , and I said to Glenn , " That was probably a poor life choice . " UPDATE : I still hadn 't heard anything about my CAT scan results by last night , and this filled me with a strange kind of optimism : if it was something truly hideous , wouldn 't they call me right away ? But I knew that I couldn 't play ostrich , so this morning I called my doctor 's office . They said that the test results were in the mail and that I should get them today , or tomorrow at the latest . I tried to get more information out of the receptionist , but she apologized and said any medical information had to come from the doctor , who is conveniently on vacation all week . I will , of course , keep you updated ; continued finger crossing would be much appreciated . As far as my beloved Ginji goes , I cannot even begin to explain what the hell the problem turned out to be . The dude at the dealership told me and I was doing the RCA dog head tilt because it didn 't make even the tiniest bit of sense to me how the one thing would affect the other . But on the plus side , the keys didn 't need to be recoded ( $ $ ) , and the immobilization system didn 't need to be replaced ( $ $ $ $ ) ; they only needed to replace some valve dealiemabob . So the whole thing wound up costing me about $ 150 and a vacation day . At least they had a free shuttle service , so I was able to go home while they worked on him and finally finish my backlog of American Horror Story : Asylum and Sin City , which I 've had out from Netflix for over a month . " Man , you 're funny ! You 're not a comedian , are you ? Actually , you look like that one woman , ' cept I don 't think you 'd be living in [ city name ] if you were her . What the hell 's her name ? " The second thing : when the tow truck driver pulled into the dealership , a salesman came bounding towards us , frantically motioning towards the garage . I couldn 't figure out why he was so panicked until I noticed the couple looking at cars . Yeah , I suppose a fairly new Honda Civic with a pristine exterior being towed in isn 't the greatest advertisement for your brand . I finished the first cup at 9AM and immediately started in on the second . Then , after peeing about ten times , I headed to the lab for my CAT scan . I signed in , did the requisite ream of paperwork , and then sat down in the waiting room with my second cup of contrast . A man only slightly older than me ( which I found comforting in a strange way , not that I would wish this shit on most people of any age ) was holding an enormous cup too , and when he saw me looking at him , he raised it in a toast . Comrades in arms ! Finally , a cheerful doctor who looked like a thinner Santa Claus came out to get me . After taking off my bra and jeans and changing into a super comfortable pair of green scrub pants , I went into the CAT scan room . Dr . Santa said , " I know you 've had your fill of this stuff , but I need you to drink one more cup of contrast . " Noticing my face , he laughed and said , " Don 't worry , this one 's much smaller . " And , as it turns out , much grosser without all the water to dilute it . I laid down on the table and Dr . Santa covered me with a blanket , and then the scanning commenced . Occasionally an automated voice would command me to breathe in and hold it , and then breathe out again . I closed my eyes and pretended like I was in Prometheus . I squinched my eyes shut as he inserted the IV . True to his word , it barely hurt , so I was grateful for that at least . I felt a rush of warmth in my nethers - - - not the good kind of warmth in my nethers - - - and then I started to shiver . I was thankful for the blanket . More scanning . . . and more . . . and then silence that seemed to last for hours , but was probably only a couple of minutes . " Hello ? " I called out plaintively . Finally Dr . Santa returned to the room and unhooked my IV . He said that I would probably get the results on Tuesday , and I raced into the bathroom without even bothering to put my shoes on . ( I know , gross , but I have never had to piss that badly in my life . ) Then I got dressed , contemplated shoving those super comfortable scrub pants into my purse and deciding that I needed my karma as shiny as possible , and left . I went home and napped before going to work . This morning , I hopped into Ginji , turned the ignition , and nothing . A green light I 'd never seen before flashed on the dashboard . Frantically , I pulled my owner 's manual out of the glove compartment and discovered that it meant the immobilization system had activated . This is to keep someone from using , say , a screwdriver to steal your car ; apparently , it 's also to keep you from using the same fucking key you 've used for the last four years . So I burst into fat sloppy tears , ran upstairs , and grabbed my spare key . Nope , same thing . Called the dealership , they said to have Ginji towed in . Called my boss , who fucking LAUGHED . This after I prefaced it by saying , " As if my health problems weren 't bad enough . . . " Cried some more while waiting for Triple A . And it wasn 't all due to the car ( a 2009 Honda Civic with less than 14 , 000 miles on it , I might add ) , of course ; it was the cumulation of almost two weeks of pure fucking SHIT . Eventually , a very nice Triple A tow truck driver came , hooked Ginji up , and took us to the local dealership about 3 miles down the road . They said it would take about an hour before they could look at him ( could be the keys ' coding going bad , which is unlikely since neither one works ; most likely , the whole immobilization system is boofed , which yay ) , so I took advantage of their courtesy shuttle and came home so I could write this entry and catch up on my backlog of American Horror Story : Asylum , which may provide some small measure of comfort . Things might be sucking hard right now , but hey , at least I 'm not locked in Bloody Face 's basement !
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We are always broke , its just a fact of life . I don 't work , I don 't bring in any income , I am frugal and I do my best to save money and conserve what we have . I don 't get to do a lot with my kids that require me to pay for them because I just can 't afford it . It stinks . This week , we got invited to 2 different beaches with friends . I could go to the little state park beach Hopeville , its pond water that was recently closed by the DEP due to excessive bacteria in the water , OR I could go to the RI state beach , Misquamicut for some awesome waves and fun in the sun . That was a tough choice . HOpeville is free and less than 2 miles from my house . Misquamicut I knew I 'd have to pay for parking , and its about 30 miles from my house . What to do ? ? Then I remembered . . . . Swagbucks ! What ? you say , Swagbucks ? ? ? How did that save the day ? ? Well I 'll tell ya ! Instead of taking the $ 5 Amazon Gift cards lately , I 've been spending the higher amount on Paypal cash , 700 swagbucks gets you $ 5 of cold hard cash at a time . I had earned $ 25 ! SO I took my Paypal Debit card to the local ATM machine and took out $ 20 in cash . I went to Misquamicut and had the best day we have had all summer ! ! It cost $ 12 to park my car , we stayed ALL day . Then I spent the last $ 8 for gas to get home . It was FREE MONEY ! I didn 't do anything to get it , other than sign people up for swagbucks , do my searches , and get codes . All in the comfort of my own home , on my own couch . So you say you can 't get something for nothing anymore ? I say you can ! I did ! I had a ' FREE ' day at the beach with my kids ! We had the best day ! SO I tell you , Join Swagbucks , Get Cash ! ! I promise you won 't regret it , its not a waste of time or a scam program . It really works ! Posted by I had posted a couple weeks ago about how my kids won a Nintendo DS game from Kellogg 's . It was quite impressive ! You can refer to this link to read about it . They selected Zelda and we were told it would arrive in 4 - 6 weeks . It arrived in 3 weeks ! ! We never win anything , that was quite the windfall for us . Yay ! Happy Tuesday Morning ! One of the things about frugality , I always say " if its Free , its for me ! " There are some really fun freebies to have and they are important to staying frugal . Here is a list of some great freebies for this week . How about some FREE Bic Pens from Target ? Bic Pens are on sale for . 99 this week , print this coupon for $ 1 off and your pens are FREE . Don 't forget about the FREE backpack this week from Staples . Go to Staples this week and purchase any backpack and get a rebate for the FULL amount of the backpack . I 'm tempted to go get one just for this deal ! Never hurts to have an extra , and it can be donated if need be . Free Child Safety Kit Don 't miss out on this deal this week ! Staples has backpacks on sale this week . After you fill out the rebate form and send it in , they will give the cost of the backpack BACK to you in the form of a Staples Gift Card . That 's basically FREE . Hurry up and get this deal ! ! THIS week only ! You can order online , by phone , or in store , but hurry ! ! Posted by I can 't believe its been almost a whole week since my last post ! I guess I just haven 't had much to say . LOL Monday starts a new week and I 'm hoping a BETTER week . Not that last week was horrible , just hectic , lots going on with several dentist appoints and kid activities . My kids went to VBS every night ( Vacation Bible school ) at the local Congregational church and they loved it . The theme was Galactic Blast , and each night was a new activity dealing with space . My youngest was thrilled with this , he got out of the house , and I got 2 hours by myself every night for a whole week ! That was the best , I opened my laptop to Facebook , opened up a Barcadi Mojito , and just chilled by myself for 2 straight hours . Okay , a few nights I actually got productive and went out for the walk I desperately needed , and one night my girls had girl scouts , but the other nights were JUST for me . : ) They ended the week with a cute little program , all the kids put on a little performance of singing . They had little moves to go with each song . My middle daughter is a born performer , she loves every part of it and I think she will eventually be in the entertainment field . The teachers all remarked to me how she was one of the best singers they had , because she really got into everything and was happy to do as asked . That 's my baby girl ! My oldest is not so much in the spotlight , she is like me where she would rather just stand back and let everyone else shine . She is kinda shy and really not into the idea of everyone watching her . So she barely moved her mouth and totally looked like she was not enjoying herself AT all . Ugh . My little guy was great , he just enjoyed everything and was so funny to watch when his group went up . His best little buddy was also in his group , I 'm sure they drove the teachers crazy trying to keep the 2 of them calm . Oh to be 6 again and find joy in everything and get so excited to see your buddy and hang out , even if its only Bible camp . At the end of the program , they asked the kids if they would like , to come oHave a great day ! One of the things I suggest for a fun family time is memberships to such places as museums , zoos , clubs etc . You will pay more in the beginning , but in the end , you are SAVING money . If you purchase a zoo membership , it will usually pay for itself within 2 visits , and then you can visit any time you want . If you live close enough to a place the kids will love and enjoy , use it to your advantage to keeping them entertained this summer . Yesterday , I took my kids to the Roger Williams Park Zoo , we went in a large group of moms and kids , looking to do something fun for the day . We all had memberships , except for 1 mom , and because I had purchased the ' family plus ' membership , I am allowed to take guests in on my card , I was able to get her in for free . Her baby is less than a year old so he was free anyway . Our kids have a great time , there is a brand new baby giraffe at the zoo , he is only 2 weeks old and adorable ! ! For something so ' big ' , compared to the rest of the giraffes , he was tiny ! ( Pictured above ) He was laying on the ground with his mom , and we enjoyed watching him for a few minutes . Going with a large group of young kids is always a bit hard because they run from exhibit to exhibit , but when the rest of the group went home , we stayed behind and went through the zoo again by ourselves to see more stuff . I will admit I wasn 't prepared as I should have been snack wise . I only have a small hard igloo cooler that I packed waters , juice boxes and yogurts in . I had to leave it in the car because I didn 't feel like carrying it around all day . All the rest of the moms had brought these great soft sided coolers , like this one : This was so much more convenient for what we were doing for the day , and they were able to sling it over their shoulders . I NEED to get one of these ! I did not have enough snacks for my kids for the time we spent there . By the end of the day , my son was having a meltdown , so I knew it was time to leave . That 's the sign of a good day , when one of them has a tantrum about leaving . LOL But we hHave a great day ! Today is ' my ' day off . My oldest daughter spent the night at her friend 's house , and my other 2 went off with Daddy today to go swimming . I 'm sitting here in my air conditioned house , drinking my coffee , enjoying the peace and quiet , and just relaxing . I spent so much time being Mom , this was a hard week for me , and I found myself wishing for school to start , then feeling guilty because I should be enjoying my time with my kids . All year long we rush rush rush , and spend no time together , summer is supposed to be our time to reconnect , and I spend most of it yelling at them to stop fighting and to pick up after themselves . SO here I sit , I 'm not going to clean up after anyone , I 'm not cooking , I 'm not breaking up fights , I watching the Teen Mom marathon on MTV , without lame comments from my husband . I 'm not spending money , I 'm not eating , ( except for my Yoplait delights Caramel yogurt and coffee ) . I got my paper , but havn 't gone through my coupons yet . I 'm hoping to get a bit of time this day to make up my shopping list and go out early this week . This is so much easier to do without everyone clamoring for my attention . Enjoy your Sunday and have a great day ! A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain . Robert FrostEmpty pockets never held anyone back . Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that . Norman Vincent Peale He who loses money , loses much ; He who loses a friend , loses much more ; He who loses faith , loses all . Elenore RooseveltIf money is your hope for independence you will never have it . The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge , experience , and ability . Henry Ford If you shop Shoprite , like I do , you can get Bailey 's Coffee Cream for FREE this week after coupon . Go HERE and print coupon for $ 1 off . Cream is on sale for . 99 so its a freebie ! ! And a nice treat for your coffee . : ) Enjoy ! ! Thanks to the heads up at 4Hats and Frugal ! I enjoy her weekly posts about the best shoprite deals . I can usually find some myself , but she can help me find the pritables that go with some of the deals I didn 't see . Love that ! ! Check this out ! Sign up for FREE , and Trade things with others for FREE . All you do is pay shipping . You can clean out your basement and trade stuff you don 't need or want and get something you DO need or want . This will work great for books , and video games , check it out ! It really makes you stop and think to a time when you were really truly broke . When was that time for you ? For me , I have to stop and think . I 'd like to say its now , but I think broke can be a whole bunch of different ways . When we were first married , we were broke , neither of us understood frugality , or the importance of saving , so we didn 't . We found out quickly that there was no way we were gonna survive that way . About 1 year and a half into our marriage , my husband lost his job , and we were living off credit cards , among other things . I worked , but it certainly wasn 't enough to pay our rent . Looking back now and knowing what I know now , I wish I had done things so much differently . I remember thinking it just couldn 't get any worse , how could it ? Eventually , my husband found a job , and our first daughter was born . I took a better paying job and we bought our house . Things were looking so bright . Fast Forward to today . I can 't work due to the fact that I have 3 children that need me at home right now . My husband works hard and long hours , putting up with so much , and we do pay the bills each month , but there are usually some things that we have to sacrifice paying to get by for the month . This month its the dentist bill . Next month I 'm praying the oil bill will be all set . Its a never ending cycle , and I sit and stress , wondering , can this get any worse ? I feel like I get creative with the bill paying , I clip coupons , I do free stuff with my kids , but how much more can I do ? ? Frugal fatigue at its heart , especially when you feel like there is no return on the investment of all the hours I spend being a frugal person . But I know in the long run , we aren 't broke . We still have our house , we still have food in our pantry and fridge , and we still have each other . I have to remind myself of this sometimes , even during my darkest days . Is anyone really truly broke ? ? When it comes to money , maybe . But with everything , we have to evaluate and put it all in perspective and understand why we are broke , and how to fix the broke . So have you ever been flat out broke ? How do YOU fix it ? The kids were wanting pizza tonight and my original intention was too cook it on the grill tonight , but not possible with all the storms moving through the area . Its one of those weeks where money is tight , payday isn 't till Friday so I went looking for a recipe for the dough . I found one and its not half bad . The next time you make pizza , try this recipe for Garlic and Herb No yeast dough . One tip : Make sure you follow the directions and measure the dry ingredients to the specification or it just won 't come out . It will be too sticky and you won 't be able to roll it out . Another tip for this dough , you can make small little tiny 4 inch rounds , bake them off then save them for ' Home made Lunchables ' . Throw them in your kids ' lunch boxes with a little container of sauce , and some shredded cheese and you have a treat that will be a hit . Walmart has some terrific Ziplock sectioned containers that are perfect for this . SIZZLING30 July 14th through July 21 2010 with Kohl 's charge This can not be used in store unless you have a physical paper coupon . Huge Savings can be had with this code ! Shop the clearance section and get some great deals for BTS or next winter ! Posted by I took a recipe that I enjoy and have used in the past and tweaked it to become a ' skillet ' meal . I have an electric skillet that I use several times a week , especially in the summer in an effort to avoid turning on my oven and heating up the house . I love my skillet ! LOL Brown ground beef with the diced onion and pepper . When browned , season with taco seasoning as directed on package . In another pan , make mac and cheese as directed . Add the sour cream to the mac and cheese . Grease a casserole dish , and layer the mac and meat mixture , alternating layers . Top with salsa and cheese and bake at 325 until cheese is melted and slightly browned . In a skillet , brown ground beef with onions and pepper , season with taco seasoning . In another pan , made mac and cheese as directed , but instead of milk , just add the sour cream . Pour into skillet with meat mixture . Pour salsa on top , then sprinkle cheese on top . Cover then turn off heat and let cheese melt for about 5 or 6 minutes . And whats the perfect veggie to serve with this ? Why Mexican corn , of course ! Heat up some frozen corn , but to that add some diced green and red peppers , some butter and season with salt and pepper . Enjoy ! Among other things , I 'm in the middle of laundry that hasn 't been done since Friday , oldest dd has a dentist appt this am , I promised them a trip to the library today to turn in their reading logs for prizes , AND I need to pick up a few groceries . Who said these were the lazy days of summer ? ? I plan on spending this week decluttering , and hoping to get some good deals out of here via Craig 's list . We have a Dora kitchen , a Dora Castle , Geo Trax , a play kitchen , clothes , and a bunch of other things that need to get out , of my basement . My husband actually got a whole corner of the basement cleaned out this week , and challenged me to try and do the same . I would just toss it all in a yard sale , but I did that last year and it just didn 't work out the way I wanted it too . So I 'm going to list it all individually and hope for the best . So tell me , do you get deals on Craig 's list ? What sort of things do you like to buy , and look for ? Do you sell on Craig 's list ? How does that go ? Have a great day ! Right now Amazon is running their ' up to ' 50 % off sale on toys , so NOW is a great time to start stocking up on those Christmas presents ! There are some great deals to be had right at this minute , you can get some things that your kids might have been wanting for next to nothing . With Amazon , you get free shipping after you spend $ 25 . With this sale , you can get 4 to 5 items in your cart before you reach the $ 25 . And remember , if you have been doing Swagbucks , and you have earned a $ 25 Gift Card , these items are FREE . Just remember when you are browsing and adding stuff to your cart , they must be shipped by Amazon and say they are ' elegible for Free shipping . ' Remember growing up and looking forward to the great fireworks shows all summer long ? Here in Connecticut , we have a fantastic show that always falls in the second weekend in July , in New London . They call it Sail fest and its a weekend long festival featuring music , crafts , artists , and food . Its always a great time . The end of the Saturday night always culminates with a large fireworks display sponsored by Foxwoods , but created by the Grucci Brothers . In this economy , more and more communities are doing away with their annual fireworks display . Its is just too costly for towns and cities to continue these traditions for the people and many have cancelled . In Norwich , the annual July 4th fireworks were moved to Dodd Stadium and you had to have a ticket to get in . People showed up early in the morning to make sure they got their tickets , even though they were free , but it was a first come , first serve basis . Many weren 't willing to live without seeing the fireworks , even if you had to make a plan to get there . If you live in Connecticut , or are planning on visiting , make sure you go to Mohegan Sun in Uncasville every Wednesday for a Free Fireworks display . They also feature a car show , a Farmer 's Market , Native American Dancing , a DJ , and a live band . They also serve free popcorn and water . This is not to be missed and has become a summertime tradition in our fair state . Families enjoy Fireworks . The best way to view them is to arrive early . Bring a picnic supper . You don 't need to be close , you can sit where ever you want and its always the best seat in the house . Bring your blanket , and games for the kids to pass some time while they wait . I have found that Free Fireworks displays are some of the best frugal family fun time our family has had . Now remember the fun you had as a kid , and make those memories for you own kids . All for free . Sometimes the best memories don 't have a price . Have a Great day ! We just covered how to get coupons and use them , but now we want to know how to use them effectively . If you are continually getting items for free , or nearly free , consider stockpiling them . It may cost you a bit more in the beginning to build up your stockpile , but once you get going and have a decent stock , you 'll see your grocery bills go WAY down . I have had people ask me , since I use alot of coupons , do I buy alot of items I don 't need ? The answer to that question is NO , I buy stuff I will USE , not stuff I need or don 't need . There is a difference . View these 2 scenarios : Scenario 1 : You are hosting a party and realize , you have no ketchup . You think quickly , ' I 'll just run to Walmart and grab a bottle , its only $ 1 . ' So you spend time you don 't have , gas you really can 't afford to waste , and battle that crowd on a Saturday . You grab the ketchup , then say , ' hmmmm , while I 'm here , I better grab some mustard and relish too . . . ' , but the time you leave , you have spent $ 40 . Scenario 2 : You are hosting a party and realize , you have no ketchup . No worries ! You have 2 more bottles in your pantry you got for . 50 a piece matching the last coupon with a sale . Phew ! And mustard and relish also . No need to leave the house , continue getting ready for your party . Which to you makes more sense ? I have found stockpiling groceries has been an absolute lifesaver for me . Last year the bank made an error with our checking account and we had no access to money for about 5 weeks . The LONGEST 5 weeks of my life . However , I had created such a stock pile in my basement that it was able to hold us over that long . I had lunch meats , cheese , breads and roasts in my freezer . I had cereals , oatmeal and snacks stocked up for the kids . I had side dishes , and veggies stocked up for meals . And I had enough salad dressings and condiments stocked up , we are STILL trying to go through them . I admit that since I went through that period , I have had a hard time getting back to that point , but it got us through a very difficult point in time so I was so glad I had it . The only thing I couldn 't get was fresh produce and that was difficult , and we had family that would help keep us in milk and anything else we might need . But we made it and it was my shopping to fill my stock pile that got us through . We joke alot around here , " If the bomb falls , go to Melissa 's house ! " You are all welcome to my house if the bomb falls . ; ) They who are of the opinion that Money will do everything , may very well be suspected to do everything for Money . ~ George Savile , Complete Works , 1912 It is an unfortunate human failing that a full pocketbook often groans more loudly than an empty stomach . ~ Franklin Delano Roosevelt Add tomato paste , broth , Worcestershire sauce , sugar and basil . Bring to a boil , then reduce to med to simmer for 20 minutes . Add Salt and pepper to taste . You can mix with an immersion blender or blend in a blender to puree , I left is as is . Add a quarter cup of cream , and top with shredded cheddar cheese . I prepared this with common ingredients , and for less than $ 2 . I 'll serve with Grilled Cheese for a nice frugal dinner for this hot evening . Enjoy ! ! I 'll admit , I 've been hearing about Swagbucks now for quite some time and I just thought , no way can this be legit . Once I heard of a fairly skeptic friend join up and doing well , I thought I 'd give it a shot . I am amazed at how easy this is to do , and there are NO strings attached ! Its simple ! I joined up in May , and since them I 've earned $ 5 in cash , and $ 45 in Amazon Gift Cards . Now if * I * can do this and earn , then you can too ! Click this link to get started . Now let me tell you more about how this works . All you have to do is go to the Swagbucks home page once or twice a day and do a search . Do your regular searches , or just make up a crazy one like , " Whats for dinner " ? ? You will be rewarded with Swagbucks , which are ' digital dollars ' that you can use to ' buy ' prizes . Swagbucks accumulate quickly , if you do several searches a day , or find codes . SwagCodes are like a virtual Treasure Hunt . Go to the SwagStore and you will see what prizes you can earn . There are gift cards , video game stuff , kids toys , whatever you need . Most people opt for the Amazon Gift cards , since its one of the easiest and cheapest ways to shop on the net . But I elected once to take the $ 5 in paypal cash , and it was deposited in my paypal acct in about a week . Love it ! I plan on saving up my Amazon cards to use them for my Christmas shopping . I do a lot of shopping on Amazon , I buy stuff for my kids for next to nothing prices , then spend my $ 25 to get the free shipping . Right now , I 'm almost up to 2 FREE Amazon orders ! How can you beat that ? Now , should you take MY word for this ? No , you don 't have to , but you can check out the site for yourself , or you can read the swagbucks facebook page to see how people are using their swagbucks and enjoying it . If you aren 't doing Swagbucks right now , you are missing out ! ! I promise you , you will not regret this , sign up now and start earning Swagbucks ! Have a GREAT day ! Make sure you sign up at Chili 's to get a coupon for a FREE chip and salsa with the purchase of an entree . You will only get that coupon once , but you can get other great deals if you are on their email list . Do it now ! Have a great day ! One of the best things that ever happened to me was when Kim Danger wrote a book called Instant Bargains , 600 ways to shrink your Grocery Budget . I love how she includes ways to use your coupons and how to match coupons to your store savings , but also other ways to strengthen your stock pile , and even make popular items from scratch . There is also a quote from yours truly included , one of my best tips for catching the best deal . LOL If you don 't own this book , you should consider putting it in your library , some of the information is invaluable . Who said you can 't teach new tricks ? ? I always thought I was a good coupon clipper , but then I read Kim 's book and learned NEW tricks . Pretty nifty ! ! Do you read books that teach you how to catch a deal ? What was the best book you read ? Posted by In my opinion , the best and easiest way to be frugal is to be a coupon clipper . In this day and economy , not clipping coupons is wasted money . Its the easiest way to get products for FREE , or ALMOST FREE . I know some people will complain that coupons are a waste of time , or they never remember to bring them , but for me , that 's a waste of time . I do such a good job saving that most of my mommy circle of friends would like for me to give a basic step by step tutorial of my best money saving grocery shopping tips . Consider this your first lesson . : ) I will be the first to admit that clipping coupons might be tedious , and might take up more time than you want to spend , but nothing free ever came easy . Is it worth it ? YES . The basis of a frugal lifestyle comes from coupon clipping , there is no way around that . What I do when I get my coupons in on Sunday , I clip almost all of them . There are some so ridiculous that I know I will never use , like joint pain relief , or weight gain supplement , I let those go , but I clip all the others . You never know when an item will go on sale , whether its ' your brand ' or not , clip it . Remember that if you get items for free , or you have a chance to pick items you 'll never use for free , you can always donate to the local food pantry . Toiletries can be donated to the local woman 's shelter , they always welcome items . I organize my coupons in a ' coupon binder ' . I went to Walmart and bought a binder for around $ 3 . Then at the front of the store , you 'll see one register where all the baseball card stuff is , I picked up some of the clear baseball card holders . Basically , all my coupons go into the clear slots of the baseball card holders . This is the best way to see all your coupons , so you know which ones you have , but you also can see the expiration date . I have no real organization to my binder , but I do try to keep like items together . Now , you have coupons , they are fairly organized , what you want to do is check your circulars . My favorite store is Shoprite , I 've gotten the best deals in Posted by Usually , I don 't bother with ' contests ' sponsored by the cereals and yogurt companies , rarely do people win . To me its just a gimmick to buy their product , and it always works . LOLLast week , Shoprite had all their Kellogg 's cereals marked down to 1 . 99 . I used my $ 1 / 2 coupons and bought 4 boxes of cereal for 1 . 49 each . I refuse to pay more than 1 . 50 for a box of cereal . The promotion they were running was that if you purchased 3 boxes of Kellogg 's cereal , you got a FREE gallon of Milk , any kind . That was my main motivation for buying ! SO I got a box of Apple Jacks , 2 boxes of Raisin Bran , and 1 box of Frosted Flakes . My oldest daughter opened up the box of Apple Jacks and said , " Mom , there is a sticker inside this box , it says ' You won ! ' ? I still didn 't take it seriously , assuming it was still something ridiculous , or cheap . Then my husband pointed out to her , ' sure , you probably won points for a DSi , which you don 't have ' . We all laughed and assumed it was just a gimmick . On a whim , he decided to check it out . He went to the website that was listed on the box to claim the prize . We were all surprised to realize , they actually won a GAME for their Nintendo DS ! They chose Zelda , and it is to be delivered in 4 to 6 weeks . How is that for being Frugal ! ! I got a FREE gallon of milk AND a free DS game , for my $ 6 cereal purchase . Have you entered any contests or won anything like this ? Have a great day ! After my last trip to the Dr , it was decided that I should try to lose about 40lb total , more if I can . He wants me to try and lose 20 lbs by Nov 1 . It ambitious to say the least . I made a deal with myself , I would try to lose 5lbs every month to try and keep my goal attainable . I should probably add that I 'm only 5ft high , so 170lbs on my frame is not healthy . For the month of June , I did it ! I lost 5 lbs ! I went from 170lbs to 165 . Losing weight in the summer is probably the hardest thing I have done . I can 't really afford a gym membership so I try to exercise on my own . I have been trying to get a 1 hour walk in once a day , while watching my calories . Over the last week though , I have turned into a slug again . I can literally feel the weight attaching itself back onto my body . I need to lose the weight I 've regained , but I also need to lose the 5lbs for July . It seems so daunting . And today 's weather is supposed to be 102 in New England , SO not walking weather . Time to check Freecycle and see if anyone has a treadmill to give away ! I 'm to the point where I don 't even want to put on my swimsuit . Everyone in my family thinks I 'm ridiculous and I probably am , but I can 't bear to look at myself in a swim suit right now . I 'm a top heavy person , always have been . I have wide hips from birthing 3 children . I 'm short . I tried a suit on last week and I looked like a cartoon character ! I was just mortified , and I was only looking at myself in a mirror , in the privacy of my own home . Today though , we are going to the beach . Oh Lord help me ! When my girls were little , I remember seeing all those beautiful boutique style outfits and then cringing when I saw the price tag . I just couldn 't believe what people were getting for these outfits on ebay and other places . But I wanted my girls to look ' matchy matchy ' and cute . What to do ? ? Such a dilemma . I did the next best thing . I dusted off the sewing machine and got to work ! I went to Walmart and picked out some cute patterns , this was the days when Walmart still sold fabrics and patterns . I could get cute fabrics for around $ 1 a yard . I modified the patterns to what I wanted and made my girls the cutest outfits ! Ruffly shirts with cute pants that had ruffled cuffs . I made dresses , shorts , and in all thier favorite characters . I made pillowcase dresses with ruffly ribbon . They loved it ! I went even further . I learned how to make furry flip flops , those were a huge hit ! They wore them everywhere . I learned how to make my own bows , headbands , hair clips , you name it , I did it ! No need to pay retail for any of it , I did it all myself , and it was so much cheaper . Everywhere I went , I got compliments on their clothes , and how they always looked like little girls and not miniature teenagers . I loved it . I got to a point where I was even whipping up some cute items and selling them on ebay and on the message boards . I was even making money doing this ! This was quite the racket . But as always , all good things must come to an end . My girls decided they didn 't like to be ' cute ' anymore and it wasn 't cool to wear my stuff . They would fight me to even put a simple clip in their hair , it got to a point where I had to pick my battles and this one wasn 't worth it anymore . Walmart closed up their fabric departments , so I decided I was done with the sewing . Its been a while since I even started up the sewing machine even to do a simple hem . I still do make bows , I make them occasionally for my daughter 's cheer leading squad . At least they still appreciate me ! LOLI think you can get my point . There is always a way to do somethinPosted by My name is Melissa , I live in Connecticut , and I have 3 great kids . My husband seems to think I 'd be great at this blogging thing so I though I 'd give it a try . Though I 'm not really sure what I 'll be blogging about , or if I 'll even have anything to say , so bear with me as I figure this all out ! I 'm a frugal mom , at this point I 'm addicted to coupons . I get so excited to get my paper every Sunday morning and get clippin ' . I 've gotten so many free things thanks to coupons , and I enjoy every second of the rush I get when I see my ' saved ' total at the bottom on my receipt . The bigger the better ! My best receipt so far as been where I paid $ 47 , but my saved total was around $ 102 . I scanned it into my computer so I would always have it ! My mother took it to work with her to show all the ladies she works with , because some do not believe that I can shop like that to feed 5 people , pay so little , and save so much . But I can ! And I do . Last week my bill read a payment of $ 45 , with a savings of around $ 76 . Yes it can be done . And yes you can do it too ! Its not hard , just takes a little bit of organization and determination . I have to give credit where credit is due , and name my all time favorite money saving site , which is Mommysavers . com . I remember finding that site quite by accident 4 years ago . My husband was in an car accident that put him out of work for about 3 months . I didn 't know what we were going to do , at one point the workman 's comp was taking about 6 weeks to get to us , and we were living on my $ 150 paychecks . I could barely buy groceries , never mind pay the mortgage . I was looking for any fix and I joined some program called ' Stayin ' home and Loving it ' , it turned out to be a referral type program and they ' recommended ' I spam my link on message boards . One of the sites they suggested was Mommysavers . com . I typed in the link , and when I got there , I just couldn 't bring myself to do it ! I started reading , and here were all these moms , just like me , just trying to make ends meet week after week . I decided I woPosted by
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I 'm very tired as I do this at the moment , and I gotta say , the sudden action woke me up already . Cool way to get back into the action that was present before Ethan 's chapter , especially now that there 's an interesting comparison ( before , they were fighting enemies , and now , they 're fighting each other ) . The two had been sparing for the better part of an hour , both being pushed to the edge of their physical limits as they struggled to best one another . I 'd also put a comma instead of a semi - colon . From what I 've learned , the sentence before and after the semi - colon should be able to be a standalone sentence . But the sentence after the semi - colon here can 't be by itself and still make sense . Nuzleaf climbed onto her lap and looked up at her with his wide eyes , cupping her face softly in his hands as he looked at her . She smiled down at him , touched by the Pokemon 's gesture of affection . Reaching down , she scratched a spot at the small of Nuzleaf 's back , dragging her sharp nails across his wooden body . The sound the nails made as they moved always gave her goose bumps , but Nuzleaf loved it and immediately hugged her close , burying his face in her hair . D ' awwwww , have I ever mentioned how much I love the pokémon Nuzleaf ? This is an adorable image . I 'm going to go be a typical squeeing fangirl now . The once bright sapphire duck 's feathers were now a muted shade of blue , signaling the stress that it had exposed to . Anyway , I agree with Glover when he says that this was a nice conclusion to the Graveler incident . The part I liked the most was going back and forth between Shelton 's grieving over Golduck and the spar between Dorian and Nuzleaf . To me , it was as if the Graveler fight was still happening , in a sense . The fighting spirit and suspense was still entirely present , and you portrayed the idea that all of them were still fighting ( both literally and figuratively ) to live and / or move on with their lives even though there was no real danger present anymore . It makes me reflect on the idea that everyone is always fighting every moment of every day , pretty much . I hope that makes sense . It 's not something I can easily put into words , but it was a good feeling nonetheless . Also , I thought that Dorian and Shelton were a couple ? Am I wrong ? Shelton kissing the technician on the cheek and mentioning falling in love with him seemed odd to me for this reason , and also because she was just unbelievably angry and bitter moments before she did such a thing . I guess it 's understandable that her emotions would be going crazy at the moment , and it was cute nonetheless , but still , it left me wondering about Dorian . Overall , the chapter felt complete and full of emotions , just as the conclusion of such a horrific event should feel . The only thing I might have added was Shelton reflecting on Golduck 's possible feelings of losing his psychic power . Does he value it ? Does Shelton think it won 't effect him ? I mention this because Golduck 's personality wasn 't revealed enough for us readers to know yet ( though I may have just forgotten , in which case , feel free to ignore me ) , but I expect that you 'll be showing the aftereffects soon enough , and you 'll have us as readers wishing we had known him more before the incident as well ( which isn 't a bad thing - I would find that kind of interesting , actually ) . Keep up the good work ~ Anyway , my ramblings aside , this a was a wonderful closure piece to the graveler scene , Although I find it a bit odd that Mr . Thompson didn 't arrange an automated pressure release . The way the spike sounds , it 's like something that must be manually drained . My dad was ona Colostomy bag , such things as manual body drains are not fun . Surely there 's a way to rig a one - way valve , or maybe that 's just not in Viridian 's reprritoire . That 's correct . I see what you 're saying , but for some reason this sounded a little bit better for me . The idea came from the movie ' Three Kings ' . Mark Wahlberg 's character gets shot in the lung at one point , and when his friends have to install this release valve for building air pressure in the lung . Occasionly he has to turn the valve to release the stored pressure , aloowing him to breathe . Ah well thanks ! The bit with the ICU and Golduck 's explanation was actually something I tried really hard on , so I 'm glad you noticed . And yeah , the whole Nurse Joy wonderful attitude happy go lucky thing never really went over well with me . I felt like this was much more realistic , glad you think so too That was something that I wasn 't really sure about . I hoped it would go over well , so I 'm glad you commented on it . I felt like it would be a good way to transition from what was happening right then , while also giving a backstory on the events that happened after the Graveler attack . One thing , you use the phrase " knocking him sprawling " once . I can ; t find anything wrong with it , it 's just a little bit odd to me . Maybe I 'm just used to hearing " Sending him sprawling " which is the exact same thing , just sounds different . I don 't know . Maybe it 's another regional thing . I see what you 're saying . I went back and looked , and I feel like they both work . I 'm going to keep it the way it is , but thanks for bringing it to my attention . Anyway , I agree with Glover when he says that this was a nice conclusion to the Graveler incident . The part I liked the most was going back and forth between Shelton 's grieving over Golduck and the spar between Dorian and Nuzleaf . To me , it was as if the Graveler fight was still happening , in a sense . The fighting spirit and suspense was still entirely present , and you portrayed the idea that all of them were still fighting ( both literally and figuratively ) to live and / or move on with their lives even though there was no real danger present anymore . It makes me reflect on the idea that everyone is always fighting every moment of every day , pretty much . I hope that makes sense . It 's not something I can easily put into words , but it was a good feeling nonetheless . Once again , that was exactly what I was shooting for . I 've always found the relation between emotional / physical trauma and future actions . Back in my wasteful youth days , I got into a fist fight with a few guys and got beat up . It was so loud , and intense , and I had never been in a fight before so it somewhat affected for a few days after that . I 'd hear a loud noise and tense up , like I was expecting it to happen all over again . So I kinda of drew heavily on that for this chapter , if that makes sense . None of them are going to be okay for awhile I think , but you 're right , we fight battles everyday , luckily though its not against hordes of furios rock Pokemon . I won 't deny that if I read this story and wasn 't the writer , I would say they have some obvious chemistry , but no , they 're not together . I mentioned in a few chapters that they 're just roomates , and they have been for a very long time . I 'm actually touching on their back stories some more in the next chapter , and it should firm up their motives and feelings for each other a little more clearly . The only thing I might have added was Shelton reflecting on Golduck 's possible feelings of losing his psychic power . Does he value it ? Does Shelton think it won 't effect him ? That 's going to be gone into before , and after Golduck is healed up and released . I think she was just so relieved that she was close to him again and that he was okay , that she kinda bypassed thinking about the long term ramifications of the loss of that ability . That 's going to be expanded on greatly eventually . It 's going to be alot for him to deal with , and for her as well . Thanks for reviewing once again ! The premise is very interesting ; a young couple delivering a priceless artifact for much needed money and an unbalanced man who will make every effort to stop them . However , I find all of their motives to be compelling , even the antagonist - at least , the person who you 're setting up to be the antagonist . Dorian and Shelton are two young people trying to pay off their bills and care for their Pokemon . Dorian obviously has a dream to be a strong trainer , while Shelton 's motives are a little more unclear ( although I would think that getting married would be one of them ) . Meanwhile , Ethan grew up alone and friendless aside from his Abra / Alakazam . He 's desperate for the voices to stay in his head because they 've been friendly to him . I actually pity him ; he doesn 't know that they might turn on him in an instant . It took three chapters to build up steam , but when the action started . . . I have to admit that I was very impressed . The stress of Dorian and Shelton in the immediate aftermath of the Graveler attack is strikingly realistic , and their emotions plucked at my heartstrings . I could feel their shock , pain , anger , and sadness as if it were my own . I honestly don 't think that you could have done any better than you did . My favorite character right now has to be Alakazam . He 's shown the most personality so far out of all of the Pokemon , and while I like all of the human characters , I feel a certain connection to Alakazam . He 's definitely a wildcard in all of this . When it comes down to it , will he stay loyal to the trainer and friend he 's known since he was an Abra or will he go with his morals and try to save the innocent couple ? What a fascinating dilemma . . . Anyway , the plot looks rather sound as well . Like I said , it started out slow at first , but once Dorian and Shelton set out to Pewter , it picked up its pace . It hasn 't slowed down yet , and it has kept my interest at a high level , which is always a good thing when it comes to the average fickle reader . Before I say anything else , I want to correct the bolded parts . The bolded comma is unnecessary and needs to be taken out , and an " s " needs to be added to the end of the word " move " . The apostrophe you used in the second sentence is a typo ; you want quotation marks at the end . However , that 's not what concerned me . Why capitalize " Reflect " and " Light Screen " if you 're not going to capitalize any other Pokemon move ? An element of consistency is needed . You might want to put " Reflect " and " Light Screen " in lower - case , since every other Pokemon move is in lower - case . Commas should be in between each of the two bolded words . Commas should be used whenever there 's a pause in a sentence . The full - stop ( period ) should be a comma , as was said by other readers before me . Like they said , a comma should be used in a spoken sentence , while full - stops can be used if the person is using an action ( for example , Dorian winking at the Growlithe in a previous sentence ) . Going back and correcting that error would be nice . You mispelled Shelton 's name . Just a minor typo that I thought I 'd point out . " That 's great Dorian , I 'm glad that when we get tossed to the street we 'll have a nice warm Growlithe to live in . " she said , rolling her eyes and turning to Nuzleaf . " You hungry sweetheart ? " The period should be replaced with a comma , but that 's not what I wanted to mention . Whenever a character is speaking to someone and addressing them directly , you need to use a comma before or after their name or the title they 're being addressed as , depending on where the word is placed . Basically , since Shelton is addressing Dorian , you need to put a comma between the word " great " and his name . Same with Nuzleaf . Since she 's addressing him as " sweetheart " , you need to place a comma between the two bolded words . The whispers had led him to a cave in the recent months , in the sand swept plains of the desert in Hoenn . The cave bearing another flake he took into himself . The cave he found near Route 111 however had something extra . A shard of stone from the enormous tablet he had seen in Granite Cave years ago . People the man walked past throughout the day forgot him as soon as he passed . A somewhat average looking man with long , wavy tan hair , an Alakazam keeping stride to his right . " The whispers had recently led him to a cave in the sand swept plains of the desert in Hoenn . It had contained another flake , which he had took into himself . However , the cave he found near Route 111 had something else : a shard of stone from the enormous tablet he had seen in Granite Cave years ago . The people that the man walked past throughout the day forgot him as soon as he passed . Even with the Alakazam keeping stride to his right , he was an average - looking man with long , wavy tan hair being the only other physical attribute of note . " I don 't have a problem with your characters so far , but the personalities of the Pokemon could use a bit more description . Show them as themselves . You 've done that with Nuzleaf and Alakazam . Why not show the rest ? Just a thought . You 're the second person to think that Dorian and Shelton are a couple . I tried my best to describe how close they were , and if some people think they 're together , I guess I did just that . But no , they are not a couple . Alot more of their backstory will be revealed in the next chapter . Which should help to put that theory to rest . They 've known each other for a VERY long time , and the closeness of their relationship is just a result of the sibling like love they have for each other . It took three chapters to build up steam , but when the action started . . . I have to admit that I was very impressed . The stress of Dorian and Shelton in the immediate aftermath of the Graveler attack is strikingly realistic , and their emotions plucked at my heartstrings . I could feel their shock , pain , anger , and sadness as if it were my own . I honestly don 't think that you could have done any better than you did . I 'm glad you noticed . It was one part that I tried really hard on . I 'm glad its gone over so well with so many people . Thanks ! ^^ My favorite character right now has to be Alakazam . He 's shown the most personality so far out of all of the Pokemon , and while I like all of the human characters , I feel a certain connection to Alakazam . He 's definitely a wildcard in all of this . When it comes down to it , will he stay loyal to the trainer and friend he 's known since he was an Abra or will he go with his morals and try to save the innocent couple ? What a fascinating dilemma . . . I don 't have a problem with your characters so far , but the personalities of the Pokemon could use a bit more description . Show them as themselves . You 've done that with Nuzleaf and Alakazam . Why not show the rest ? Just a thought . You 're completely right . Right before I saw your review , I told myself the exact same thing . They are all an integral part of the story , and I 'm not doing right by them if I dont expand on them more . In the coming chapters , you 'll see alot more of their personalities . Shall I add you to the PM list then ? And thanks very much for the review . I really appreciate it as you pointed out some things that I know could use some polishing . To everyone else reading / reviewing , the new chapter should be out by Monday night . - I 'm wondering why the boy didn 't feel connected to his adoptive parents . I get that they aren 't his real birth parents , but I wonder why he seems so . . . mad about them . They certainly seem nice . Is the boy going through a rebellious time ? I 'm stuck with this question , and I hope it gets delved into . SLAM ! I 'm not a particularly big fan of sound - effects in prose , but to each their own . I get that it 's a preference thing . the soft skin on his arms tearing easily on the ground as he rolled to a stop . OW . Good image , though . It actually makes me wince when I read it . Excellent work , that . Abra limped towards his master , favoring his left leg . The psychic pokemon 's right leg bore a long gash up the side of its thigh , Usually when someone is " favoring " a leg , that means they are protecting it because it 's the weaker or injured one . So does Abra have two major leg injuries ? Because if I had a long gash on one leg , I might be favoring that , but if the left leg has bone / tendon damage , that would result in favoring it no matter what wound the right leg has . I guess I was just confused here is all . As the boy and his Abra looked in wonder at the strange object , a small stony flake , glistening slightly in the oily light of the conjured orb , began to skitter across the top of the altar , seemingly of its own accord . As the boy and his pokemon noticed the flake , they stiffened , perceiving a new threat . A little unwieldy starting two consecutive sentence with the same lines " As the boy and his . . . " . OVERALL : Very interesting beginning . What the heck kind of serrated blade is so powerful that it cuts through large stone tablets ? I 'd be scared as heck at the thought of that if I were in Boy 's shoes . And I desperately hope we see more of Boy because I really want his backstory with the adoptive parents . Okay , this is a good idea . How haven 't more people been injured by Pokemon ? Because of this device ! I 'm only 2 lines in here , and I very much want to know more about this thing . I think you could make a whole story around this device , actually . Does it protect against , say , a Scyther 's claws ? And if so , would you protect someone from ANY kind of blade ? Or ANY kind of fire ? I have a feeling I might just be digressing , though . " bullet seed ! ' Dorian roared . I 'm actually NOT going to say you need to capitalize the names of moves ( because I don 't , either generally , but you should capitalize the beginning of a sentence . No sooner had he given the command , the Growlithe righted itself and charged his Nuzleaf , orange flame licking the pits of its nostrils . The grass type followed behind , purpose written across its scarred face ; it jumped and landed on top of the Growlithe , using both legs to pin down the pup . I like those . Nice description there . - Okay , I read that one section a few times , and I can 't , for the life of me , figure out what the violet energy that picked up and flipped over Dorian was . Can you explain ? I 'm assuming it was some kind of psychic attack , but was it from Golduck ? Or even Shelton ? What was it ? - Aaannnddd . . . okay , Boy did not grow up to be Dorian . That makes sense , I guess . Boy is going to be . . . the villain of the story ? Maybe ? Way too early to conjecture on that , I suppose . Definitely intrigued by him , though . - I 'm wondering why the boy didn 't feel connected to his adoptive parents . I get that they aren 't his real birth parents , but I wonder why he seems so . . . mad about them . They certainly seem nice . Is the boy going through a rebellious time ? I 'm stuck with this question , and I hope it gets delved into . Usually when someone is " favoring " a leg , that means they are protecting it because it 's the weaker or injured one . So does Abra have two major leg injuries ? Because if I had a long gash on one leg , I might be favoring that , but if the left leg has bone / tendon damage , that would result in favoring it no matter what wound the right leg has . I guess I was just confused here is all . I see what you 're saying . I 'll have to check on that , because my understanding of ' favoring ' , is that you are doing more with that limb than another because the other is somewhat incapacitated . You 're favoring the one that 's in good condition . I 'll check on that to be sure , and If it needs to be changed I 'll do so . Thanks for bringing it to my attention . OVERALL : Very interesting beginning . What the heck kind of serrated blade is so powerful that it cuts through large stone tablets ? I 'd be scared as heck at the thought of that if I were in Boy 's shoes . And I desperately hope we see more of Boy because I really want his backstory with the adoptive parents Anyhoo , I 've noticed you hadn 't named the latest two chapters . Any reasoning for that ? Wait . . . * looks back * Oh durr , you haven 't been using names at all . Your " cause " , " effect " , and " aftermath " caused me to believe that . And now that I think about it , I don 't think they were needed at all . We would 've figured out what the chapter was about without that little reminder . Now to the two chapters I missed . I pity Ethan . He 's going through so much pain to gather up these flakes , and yet these voices keep up this ruse of being friendly to him , and showing gratitude for saving them . Alakazam can see through this , but because of his loyalty to Ethan , he has to do as he says , even though it hurts him more . Man , that 's dark . You really were convincing us Golduck wasn 't going to make it , and the somber piano music I 'm currently playing makes that hurt a lot ( because the song 's just that effective ) . Still , I am happy he 's alive , even though he 's going to be a changed duck from now on . I like the explanations the doctor gave about the gem . Something tells me you did some research a bit before writing that , or at least know a little bit about the brain ( well , biology in general ) , because that 's really impressive . Posts 1 , 116 " I 'm instituting a new rule , " Shelton began , crossing her legs and leaning forward . " From now on , all your decision making privileges have been revoked . Other than involuntary bodily functions you have to perform in order to survive , I want you on the sofa , sitting on your hands at all times . " I 'm curious as to the relationship here . Are they roommates ? Siblings ? Parent and child ? Lovers ? I 'm sure I 'll get it eventually , but I 'm kind of lost on it so far . After a pensive look , Dorian said , " I request the right to argue for a lower amount after I 've thought of a good enough excuse . " I like that . It 's like a good sitcom line . " Machop is under the house again , " she answered . " We were out back pulling weeds , when that soulless Sunflora popped out and started terrorizing him again . Shuppet is in her usual spot " I like this , too , as it really makes them feel like pets ( which I 'm sure you 've realized from my fic is how I more - or - less picture pokemon ) . A Machop getting harassed by an angry Sunflora . . . that really is kind of striking . I can see the Sunflora yipping at it when I recreate the scene in my head . Kind of a " show , don 't tell " problem here : I 'd rather the story display to me that he 's a genius than the narration say it outright . " How you doing , hotshot ? " his uncle asked . " Still driving the girls crazy ? " I would MAYBE have liked a BIT more set - up here , but as it stands , it seems like an amazingly unlikely coincidence . This guy literally trips over an ancient artifact , and then 5 minutes later his scientist uncle calls him and says he 's looking for it ? That 's one - in - a - trillion or so . The wall whimpered in protest , trying to hold its shape , struggling to retain the only purpose it ever had . With a groan , the wall slid forward into a pile of rubble at the Rhydon 's outsized feet Okay , I love all that . The man didn 't know where they were going next , but he knew that the next time he slept , he would be told . He was always told where to go and how to better himself and his Pokemon . The voices would whisper to him in his dreams , guiding him towards additional power , guiding him to more knowledge , and eventually , guiding him to his destiny Good ending there . What kind of " power " is he getting from these things ? He still seems ordinary , what with Alakazam having to save his life . So what are they doing to them ? I 'm sensing an eventual face turn from Alakazam , too , where he betrays his trainer and works to save him from what the flakes are doing to him . Anyhoo , I 've noticed you hadn 't named the latest two chapters . Any reasoning for that ? Wait . . . * looks back * Oh durr , you haven 't been using names at all . Your " cause " , " effect " , and " aftermath " caused me to believe that . And now that I think about it , I don 't think they were needed at all . We would 've figured out what the chapter was about without that little reminder . I see what you 're saying . I named those chapters because of the seriousness of the situations they faced . I think if I 'm going to names the chapters , I should be more consistent , as to avoid confusion . I think I 'm going to leave them the way that they are , but thanks for pointing that out . I pity Ethan . He 's going through so much pain to gather up these flakes , and yet these voices keep up this ruse of being friendly to him , and showing gratitude for saving them . Alakazam can see through this , but because of his loyalty to Ethan , he has to do as he says , even though it hurts him more . Man , that 's dark . You really were convincing us Golduck wasn 't going to make it , and the somber piano music I 'm currently playing makes that hurt a lot ( because the song 's just that effective ) . Still , I am happy he 's alive , even though he 's going to be a changed duck from now on . I like the explanations the doctor gave about the gem . Something tells me you did some research a bit before writing that , or at least know a little bit about the brain ( well , biology in general ) , because that 's really impressive . I flirted with the idea of letting him die for a long time . With that music you had playing , I can see how it may have worked haha . I have had some schooling when it comes to biology , but most of my explanation with Golduck 's brain / physiology is just stuff I made up . I 've always loved Psyduck and Golduck , so over the years I 've come up with alot of theories with how their mental prowess works . Thanks ! I 'm curious as to the relationship here . Are they roommates ? Siblings ? Parent and child ? Lovers ? I 'm sure I 'll get it eventually , but I 'm kind of lost on it so far . I mentioned once or twice before that line that they were roomates . Looking back at later chapters , I can see how their relationship would be confusing . Dorian is extremely impulsive , wereas Shelton is calculated and responsible . She acts like a parent towards him alot of the time , which is the main reason she 's so cross towards him sometimes . I like this , too , as it really makes them feel like pets ( which I 'm sure you 've realized from my fic is how I more - or - less picture pokemon ) . A Machop getting harassed by an angry Sunflora . . . that really is kind of striking . I can see the Sunflora yipping at it when I recreate the scene in my head . I would MAYBE have liked a BIT more set - up here , but as it stands , it seems like an amazingly unlikely coincidence . This guy literally trips over an ancient artifact , and then 5 minutes later his scientist uncle calls him and says he 's looking for it ? That 's one - in - a - trillion or so . Lol , it is unlikely . The reasoning behind that will become clear later on Good ending there . What kind of " power " is he getting from these things ? He still seems ordinary , what with Alakazam having to save his life . So what are they doing to them ? I 'm sensing an eventual face turn from Alakazam , too , where he betrays his trainer and works to save him from what the flakes are doing to him That will be revealed with some of the chapters I 've posted . Alakazam is in a complicated place . Even when he was an Abra so many years ago , he knew that Ethan should not get involved , but couldn 't stop him . Now that he 's grown and matured , he may end up being able to express himself to Ethan better . I hope so at least I figure you mean " body slam " in that he unintentionally rammed his body into them , but initially read it as " like when Hulk Hogan picked up and slammed Andre The Giant " and was very perplexed as to why the hell he would do that ? I guess he DOES owe that Golduck . LOL . Not a mistake on your part , but my pop - culture ensoaked brain gave me a tremendously funny visual . Thanks for that ! Kind of a silly moment since we haven 't seen this side of Shelton at all . But again . . . I LOL ' ed . " Let 's do it ! " Dorian announced . " Strap on the nitro ! " " No . That catch phrase is never going to catch on . Besides that , its barely a catch phrase . Its just random words that have nothing to do with our current situation . " - I like the quick , zippy dialogue here , because I usually write a lot of that ( my fic hasn 't given me much of a chance yet , but que sera sera ) . I really like two characters going back - and - forth in a rapid succession . SOME of the lines there seemed a little forced ( the " Last word freak " one stuck out to me ) , but by - and - large , it was a lot of fun to read . I enjoyed that part a lot . - It 's good seeing the plot develop here , and I like the irony that Dorian is leaving Johto for Kanto while Ethan is doing the opposite . Good job removing both characters from their element . I look forward to getting to chapter 4 tomorrow . " Shut it . Just because you had one good idea does not mean that I have a higher opinion of you . Besides , you still owe me for rent , " Shelton snarled . Dorian ducked out of her reach and walked a bit faster , muttering curses under his breath . The walk through Viridian Forest had only taken about two hours , and thankfully , it had been without incident . The woods were serene and silent , their colors exclaiming vibrant hues of gold , orange , and red . As Dorian and Shelton approached the borders of Pewter City , he whipped out his phone and called his uncle , bracing himself for his naturally booming voice . A tone sounded three times in rapid succession , signaling that his uncle had ignored his call . Confused , Dorian dialed again , only to be greeted by the same high pitched beeps . It was odd his uncle wasn 't answering , as he was probably expecting them by now . As they strode past the main entrance to the city , Dorian looked to the northeast and caught the familiar sight of the red roof of Ronnie 's house . Allowing himself a small smile , he looked over to Nuzleaf and Shelton , only to find them wearing the same expression . Ronnie would make their recent misfortune worthwhile ; he would put them back into their usual mindset . His uncle always exuded a sense of calm and jovial happiness , and had always done his best to make him and Shelton feel welcome and comfortable ; it was an unspoken promise he had kept ever since he started raising them . Ethan tightened his grip on Rapidash 's neck as he started to slip to the left . Just as he did however , he felt a gentle force press his body back into an upright position . Looking backwards , he saw a faint violet aura around his Alakazam . He noticed a similar aura taking shape around his own legs and waist ; obviously Alakazam 's attempt to keep them both level on the galloping horse . The group blew through the entrance to Viridian City like a tornado , sending people in their way dashing to the left and right for safety . A small line of flames traced a path behind them , the result of the drying grass being exposed to Rapidash 's intense heat . People to the east and west of the city looking their direction were only able to make out a shining streak of yellow and orange , racing through the northern exit of the city like a meteorite . Ethan stared straight ahead , not noticing or caring for the sharp yells of the people they passed . Ethan was on the path to his destiny , on the road towards two hooligans that had stolen something very precious from him . He would take back the shard from them of course , that was just a byproduct of the vengeance that was about to be released . Besides their crime of thievery , they had threatened the voices , and for that they would be punished . He knew that they probably didn 't know what they had done , but it didn 't matter . Ignorance does not excuse a crime , and this was an offense that would not be forgiven . He felt Alakazam flinch behind him as the words crossed his mind ; having no doubt that the psychic type had heard . Unfazed , Ethan used his heels to spurn Rapidash faster , his body starting to almost vibrate with eagerness . The forest they were traveling through morphed into a ring of brown and black as they sped up , Ethan 's eyes unable to focus due to the wind howling into them . He knew that Rapidash was already pushed to the edge of her abilities , but he dug his heels into her harder ; fire in his eyes and murder in his heart . They were standing about twenty feet from Ronnie 's front porch , stopped dead in their tracks by a withering mass of sparking electrical cables . The strands of thick plastic danced around about in a chaotic fashion , loud snaps ringing out as they discharged electricity . A crew of four men formed a square around the cables , waving their hands in warning as people walked by . They were all wearing identical blue jumpsuits with snowy white hardhats , their apparel streaked with layers of grime and sweat . The one closest to them saw them approaching and quickly trotted over , his hand fixed on the top of his head to keep his hard hat from bouncing off . " Sorry folk 's , but that 's as close as ya 'll are gonna get , " the man said , his vowels long and prominent . The man 's brow was drenched in sweat , which transitioned to his almost shoulder length hair that was of the same wet persuasion . A scraggly three - day growth of a beard was visible against intense hazel eyes . As he came to a stop in front of them , Dorian noticed two things . First , that the man was tanned and muscularly toned like that of a chiseled statue ; the second thing was that Shelton was salivating like a hungry Houndoom . " Pleased to meet you , James , " Shelton grinned , her voice giggling as she said his name . " You ain 't from Pewter , are you ? " James asked . Dorian watched the scene before him unfold in disgust , completely unaccustomed to Shelton 's blatant flirting . She was swooning over this man with no regard to what she looked like ; which to Dorian was akin to her asking for a three course dinner at a hardware store . Spying two children kicking a ball past them , Dorian took the opportunity to put Shelton out of her misery . " Oh come on , " Shelton replied . " Seriously Dorian , every woman between twelve and ninety - five with a pulse would think he 's hot . " " Did you just come up with that , or is that saying something you 've heard somewhere before ? " " You 're both morons , " Shelton moaned , clearly exasperated by the conversation . Just as Shelton was about to expand on her point , Dorian felt his phone vibrate in his pocket . Flipping his phone open , he said , " You better have a good reason for ignoring my call , I feel almost violated . " " It 's actually kind of complicated . I 'm leaving the museum , but I 'm under a sort of academic house arrest . The director gave the order to send the excavation team out a few days earlier than expected , which forced me to tell him about your discovery . " " To say the least . He was angry at first that I kept this from him , but his mood quickly changed as he realized that the find could save the museum a lot of money . The pictures you sent me sufficed for the moment , but he 's asked me to get the marker from you and bring it to him . " " Don 't worry about it , " Ronnie replied . " I 'm already on my way to the house , so I 'll just grab it when I get there . There 's still a composition test I want to do before I present it . " He looked over to Nuzleaf and Shelton to tell them what Ronnie said , but stopped when he noticed what appeared to be a fire near the southern entrance of the city . Squinting , he saw the fire flare brighter for a second , then vanish completely in a flash of red light . After deciding that it was probably just some random trainer battle , he turned back to his roommate . Ethan quickly dismounted his Rapidash as she trotted to a stop . They were situated at the outskirts of Pewter , only a stone 's throw away from the southern gate . He quickly looked around for his Scyther , dry grass crunching loudly beneath his boots . Confident that his Scyther would arrive momentarily , Ethan turned back to examine the city . A red shingled Pokemon Center sat up the right , while farther back and to the left resided an almost depressed looking market ; its blue roof cracked and weathered with age . Houses were strewn across the city like random fallen raindrops , with no order or discernible pattern to their placement . Slabs of rock decorated the ground every few hundred feet , some no bigger than basketballs , while others were as large as cars ; a testament to the city 's rocky beginning . Ethan hated all of it ; it was so , unorganized . There weren 't even clear paths for people to walk on , instead there were just random trails of stomped grass crisscrossing in every direction . This poor excuse of a city was nothing compared to his home in Saffron , where manicured lawns and glass high - rises reigned supreme . Ethan would deal with this situation quickly and get back home ; back to a place with proper people and actual order . There was a rustling of limbs , and a shadow appeared between the nearest trees . Scyther forced herself through the tight overgrowth , making an effort to keep her left arm hidden behind her back . Her eyes lit up as she saw her master , and shuffled over to stand next to Alakazam . Before she took a step however , Ethan quickly jumped forward and grabbed her left arm , twisting it roughly towards himself . The sword that made up his Pokemon 's lower arm had been burned severely , turning her dark green color a putrid black . Scyther looked back at him guiltily , trying to wrench her arm out of his grasp . " What happened ? " Ethan hissed . " Saisa , " she moaned as his grip tightened . " Stop , " Ethan ordered . " It serves you right . Slicing electrical cables is something a Beedrill would do , not you . Did I not express how important this was ? What were you thinking ? " " You 're not getting off that easy , " Ethan replied , clamping down on her arm so hard that his hand began to cramp . " Scyther ! " she yelled , tearing her arm from his gasp . Her sword came loose quickly , though not before it tore a pencil width gash across his wrist . She held her arm to her chest , trying her best to look apologetic ; which was something she rarely succeeded at , owing to the fact that she was never sorry about anything . " This is important , and there is no room for error , " Ethan informed the frightened bug . Wincing , he flexed his right arm and closed his eyes in an effort to center himself . After a moment , he opened them again to see the wound on his wrist healing , black smoke drifting out of the hole . Moments later , the cut was gone , leaving no trace that it had ever happened . " Saisai , " Scyther explained , pointing with her uninjured arm back through the trees . Fuming with more anger than he had before he got to town , Ethan followed his Scyther into the dense forest , trying his best not to make any noise . Alakazam followed behind , doing rapid multiplication in his head to occupy his mind . The trio quickly made their way across the town , keeping far enough into the forest that they couldn 't be seen . After a few minutes , Scyther halted , staring at a house about a hundred yards away . They were there , in all their thieving glory . A red mist came over Ethan and he started forward , his hands shaking with rage . Alakazam grabbed him right before he got out of reach , causing him to turn around . The psychic Pokemon pointed towards the group Ethan was walking towards , motioning at the numerous other people that were walking nearby . Ethan took a breath to calm himself . His Alakazam was right ; it was far too crowded to risk any sort of unprovoked attack . With slow and deliberate steps , Ethan pushed himself through the woods to peek around the last tree that separated the two groups . As he came to the edge of the trees , the shard in his pocket began to vibrate . Shaking his head , he returned back to the game he and Nuzleaf were playing . The game was an amalgamation of different situations they 've been put through over the years , and they were still in the process of perfecting the rules . Basically , they faced each other about fifteen yards away from each other and stood completely still . One of them expanded a pokeball , and threw it at the other as hard as they could . You could aim for any area on the person you wished , but if you flinched or dodged out of the way , you earned yourself a penalty . Their current penalty was that the other person could give them a punch to the gut , without any sort of padding or protection whatsoever . To them it was a fair game , because if you showed courage , you usually took a pokeball to the skull , and if you showed cowardice , you were rewarded with a punch to the stomach . The only real way to win was for the other person to miss every time while remaining completely still . " Nunuz ! " Nuzleaf answered , his eyes squeezed tightly shut . The ball missed him by several feet , causing him to blow Dorian a raspberry and take off after it . A laugh to his left caused him to look over . Machoke was giggling slightly at Dorian 's failed attempt , his voice much deeper than it had been as a Machop . On one hand , Dorian was glad Machoke had calmed down enough to relax , as there had been a pretty stressful situation when he was released a few minutes ago . Dorian had been talking to Shelton as he and Nuzleaf lined up to play their game when she had decided to release Machoke for the first time since returning him right after he had evolved . The fighting Pokemon had materialized in a shower of white energy , standing almost as tall as Dorian in his new form . The only problem was , he had taken shape completely nude . As soon as Machoke 's eyes took in his new form and the area he was in , he quickly started crying and covering his lower body in embarrassment . Shelton had tried to calm him down , only to have her Pokemon start stomping the ground in angst , creating cracks in the road with his newfound brawn . Machoke had only calmed down once Dorian pulled out a pair of his own boxer briefs from his bag and handed them to him . Now , Machoke was seated on the ground next to Shelton , Dorian 's boxers being stretched to their limit by his bulging muscles . Shelton was sitting next to him , her head leaning against her Pokemon 's shoulder . She hadn 't stopped touching Machoke since he had emerged from his ball , convinced that something else would befall him if he wandered too far away from her . " It 's not as easy as you might think . So how about you mind your own busi - , " Dorian started , only to be cut off by a fiery glaze sent at him by Shelton . Just as Dorian turned back towards Nuzleaf , he paused , his back pocket was vibrating . It was odd though , as he distinctly remembered putting his phone in his front pocket . Shaking his head , he reached into his back pocket and pulled it out ; but it wasn 't his phone he had retrieved , it was the shard . It was pulsing lightly , almost like a gentle heartbeat . Dorian didn 't understand why the marker was moving . It didn 't have anything inside it , at least to the best of his knowledge it didn 't . " Why are you looking at that thing like that ? " Shelton asked . " You little bastard ! " Dorian yelled , bending down and picking up the ball . " I wasn 't paying attention ! That 's a free shot from ten feet ! " In a rage , Dorian darted forward , the pokeball in his right hand , the pulsing shard in his left . As he closed to about ten feet away , Dorian drew back and hurled the ball at Nuzleaf , its red surface gleaming . Nuzleaf barely ducked in time as the ball streaked towards him , causing it to miss him by several inches . The ball continued on its course , slicing through the air like a knife . As it connected with the hedge that circled Ronnie 's house , there was a loud squeal , a flash of white light , and a tiny snap as it closed itself back up . " I know what to do , " Dorian replied , walking over to the hedge . It took him a moment to dig through the thick foliage , but his hands found the trembling pokeball . Standing back up , he rolled it in his hand , his mind a mix of anticipation and confusion . With a loud ding , the return button of the ball blinked red rapidly , signaling a successful capture . Taking a quick breath , Dorian pressed the return button , opening the ball and spilling out its contents . A shape began to materialize on the ground in front of them , bathing their half circle in a bright white glow . Starting at the ground , a thick black tail in the winding shape of a coil appeared , followed by a sizeable , similarly colored tube - like stomach . Two stubby arms became visible next , followed by two rosy circles of fur underneath inky black eyes . By far the most distinguishing characteristic of the now fully formed Pokemon was a large pink pearl clamped tightly between its tiny ears . " Spoink ? " the Pokemon repeated , looking at Dorian like he was some sort of extraterrestrial . Its eyes drifted over the rest of the group , narrowing slightly when it came to the hulking form of Machoke . Coming back to Dorian , the Spoink spied the open pokeball clutched in Dorian 's right hand . Its eyes widened to the extreme , and its mouth dropped open . " Wai - , " Dorian started , only to stop short as he was yanked off the ground and thrown backwards through the air . Dorian 's vision blurred as he flew backwards , the world passing by him too quickly to focus . Just before the force carrying him dropped its hold , he managed to turn his head around to see where he was going to land . Dorian began flailing his arms wildly in vain , yelling through clenched teeth as his body came down on the twitching mass of sliced electrical cables in front of his uncle 's house . Pain , unimaginable pain , coursed through his body in torrents as the electricity surged across his flesh . Almost as soon as that one agonizing second commenced , it was over , and he pushed himself up off the ground . Shivering and covered with goose bumps , Dorian struggled to understand why the temperature had changed so dramatically . Remembering what he had fallen into , Dorian quickly leaped to the left , putting him out of the way of the cables . As he looked down to where he had just jumped from , he gasped . His body was still lying on the ground , twitching and contorting in agony as electricity billowed across it . He almost fainted on the spot as he looked at his body on the ground , his mind being torn in half by the paradox that was taking shape in front of him . He was standing to the side , he wasn 't still on the cables ; he had jumped , hadn 't he ? As he watched his body on the ground , he noticed two things . First , that his body on the ground was spasming far too slowly ; and looking up he could see Nuzleaf in the distance running towards his body on the ground , but he was moving slow as well , like he was stuck in slow motion . The second thing he noticed was that the blue electricity surging across his frame on the ground was all moving to one point , to the shard still clutched in his left hand . Dorian raised his left hand in his standing body and saw that the same shard was in that hand as well , the only difference being that it was glowing . How was it in both hands ? Despite the fact that he was having an out of body experience , that question kept forcing its way into his mind . How were they in both hands ? Just as he asked himself the question again , the black shard started pulsing . Harder and harder it pulsed , vibrating so hard that Dorian could barely hang on to it . He couldn 't understand the situation unfolding in front of him ; it was so far beyond the realm of his comprehension that all he could do was stare blankly at the softly glowing object . Well , almost all he could do . He figured out he could still scream ; which is exactly what he did when the shard wrapped itself around his left hand and yanked him into the sky . Posts 1 , 116 Woo ! " Filler chapter ! " Dorian and Shelton 's Pokemon were all out of their respective balls , clapping softly as Trapinch approached . Well , almost all of them . Considering the narrator is not a " character " ( at least has not been portrayed as such ) , it seems odd for the narrator to say something like " Well , almost all of them " . It sounds a bit too colloquial for an unquestioned narration . Do you know what I mean ? There 's nothing wrong with giving your narrator some flavor and personality , but it hasn 't had one to this point , so this threw me . " I was hoping that a win might finally make you evolve , " Dorian said . " It 's alright though . I know you 're as eager to get rid of those pains as I am . Maybe it 'll happen next time Trapinch began to growl loudly , tapping into the growing process that his kind was sometimes afforded . His skin suddenly transformed into sickly hues of yellow and green . His eyes began to bulge and turn a lustrous olive as his backbone began to stretch and wiggle trough the back of his thick hide . Crimson blood streamed down his sides as a pair of regal looking , rhombus shaped wings burst out from underneath his skin . Growling louder now , the bones in his face began to change shape , becoming thinner , narrower , becoming almost brittle in their lightness . As a pair of antenna burst out of Trapinch 's forehead , his new tail split in two , mirroring the shape and color of its new wings . Yeah , see . . . that was good . Very powerful visuals . I just would liked to have seen hints of the changes earlier . But still . . . very nice ! " Look kid , I 'm not in the mood to battle you , " Dorian said , his mood bypassing annoyance and going straight to exasperation . " I don 't care if we locked eyes , I don 't have to adhere to your need to prove yourself . How old are you anyway ? Twelve ? " " I 'm fourteen ! " the kid yelled . " It 's in the rules ! If you look at me , and I look back at you , we have to battle . I 'll call the Pokemon Battle Association if you don 't ! " " What makes you think I care ? Do you think that 's going to change my mind ? Kid , before you threaten someone , you need to make sure you have something to take away from them . " " Are you off your medication ? I have at least twelve years experience on you , " Dorian said , bringing his head down to the teen 's level . " Where are your parents ? I 'm feeling the sudden urge to tell them what an annoying little bastard you are . " You like to make fun of the game tropes . That was at least two right there . It 's fun to ridicule the sillier aspects of the games , but be careful not to overdo it . It 's hard to juxtapose the realism of Trapinch 's bloody , pain evolution against the silliness of those things . I know that you are ridiculing the silliness of them , but it 's still feeling a TAD BIT forced to do so . But don 't worry , it 's amusing to read either way . - What an odd note to end the chapter on . It makes me feel there is more to this kid and his Beedrill than meets the eye . I 'm curious as to how this battle wraps up and what it 's leading to , so I might sneak a peak at chapter 5 before heading off . As far as filler chapters go , this wasn 't bad . I like filler because it develops character . We didn 't really get MUCH of that here , but the writing was still very enjoyable . Posts 3 , 228 All caught up ! But I 'm on my iPod right now so I can 't give an in depth review . As I told you already , I loved chapter 8 . It has to be my favorite so far . I had thought you killed Golduck . I was going to cry , but I 'm happy to see that he is alive . The Graveler incident wrapped up very nicely . I expect both Dorian and Shelton to grow from it . I love how you portrayed Shelton when she saw the workman . Seems like you have women pinned down . ; P Ethan becoming more and more frustrated was a nice touch . It seems he 's ready to pull his hair out . Keep up the good work . Until next time . Well , I think it would have protected him but it wasn 't activated at the time . The device needs to be switched on to be able to block attacks . So if he 's not in a battle or dangerous situation , I think he leaves it off to save power . Lol now that I think about it , it is pretty similar . However , no , its my own invention . I use that catch phrase irl , and it annoys my fiance to no end . Considering the narrator is not a " character " ( at least has not been portrayed as such ) , it seems odd for the narrator to say something like " Well , almost all of them " . It sounds a bit too colloquial for an unquestioned narration . Do you know what I mean ? There 's nothing wrong with giving your narrator some flavor and personality , but it hasn 't had one to this point , so this threw me . I see what you mean . You 're actually the second person to suggest that very thing . I flirted with the idea before , but with Trapinch I decided that the way I went was my favorite . Who knows , you may see some of what you suggested if any more of their pokemon evolve . You like to make fun of the game tropes . That was at least two right there . It 's fun to ridicule the sillier aspects of the games , but be careful not to overdo it . It 's hard to juxtapose the realism of Trapinch 's bloody , pain evolution against the silliness of those things . I know that you are ridiculing the silliness of them , but it 's still feeling a TAD BIT forced to do so . But don 't worry , it 's amusing to read either way . On one hand , I was making fun of the games , but the main reason the kid said those things because his character is really bent on following rules at all costs and sticking to exactly what his manual says . That 'll become apparent in later chapters as he slowly works himself back into the story . I 'll keep what you said in mind . I see what you mean . You 're actually the second person to suggest that very thing . I flirted with the idea before , but with Trapinch I decided that the way I went was my favorite . Who knows , you may see some of what you suggested if any more of their pokemon evolve . Working on a review and saw this . I have a problem with that form of evolution . It makes snese to me for a Pokemon to be preparing , like a bear for hibernation , and then let the actual change happen more instantaniously , but if you go the drawn out route , what do you do with Pokemon liek Remoraid ? Halfway through evolution , . uyou have this finless red rock thing with dumpy little limbs not quite long enough to move its proportionally oversize head , and the flins it had as a Remoraid have mostly retreated into its Octillery body . You have this fish that can 't feed itself . . . On the subject of the evolution method , I think it 's a good idea and waaay more realistic than in the games and anime , but I see Glover 's point about certain Pokémon that would struggle with this method . But what if certain Pokémon , such as Remoraid , had developed faster evolution so that they wouldn 't have to go as long without food ? That 's just an idea on my part , feel free to say it 's terrible . " Shut it . Just because you had one good idea does not mean that I have a higher opinion of you . Besides , you still owe me for rent , " Shelton snarled . I think you portray the relationship between Dorian and Shelton really well . You have a good balance between Shelton 's scathing nudges but not making it seem too forced . He felt Alakazam flinch behind him as the words crossed his mind ; having no doubt that the psychic type had heard . Unfazed , Ethan used his heels to spurn Rapidash faster , his body starting to almost vibrate with eagerness . The forest they were traveling through morphed into a ring of brown and black as they sped up , Ethan 's eyes unable to focus due to the wind howling into them . He knew that Rapidash was already pushed to the edge of her abilities , but he dug his heels into her harder ; fire in his eyes and murder in his heart . Another thing I like is the way you 're portraying Ethan . He 's slowly getting more and more violent in his pursuit of Dorian and Shelton , and the fact that Alakazam doesn 't wholly agree with him is a nice touch on the lines of making sure all the Pokémon have personalitites . It also means he 's a tiny bit more unpredictable . I know I ought to point out the negative points of this fic as well as going " You portrayed this well , you wrote that well " , but tbh I can 't see anything that you desparately need to work on . Future reviews probably won 't be quite as in - depth ( by my standards anyway ) , but they will definitely come . Looking forward to the next chapter . Originally Posted by Missingno . Master And my authorish side must tell you that logic doesn 't trump diddly in this story . Klang can fart . Plain and simple . Working on a review and saw this . I have a problem with that form of evolution . It makes snese to me for a Pokemon to be preparing , like a bear for hibernation , and then let the actual change happen more instantaniously , but if you go the drawn out route , what do you do with Pokemon liek Remoraid ? Halfway through evolution , . uyou have this finless red rock thing with dumpy little limbs not quite long enough to move its proportionally oversize head , and the flins it had as a Remoraid have mostly retreated into its Octillery body . You have this fish that can 't feed itself . . . I see your point as well . I like my idea of spontaneous violent evolution the best , but subtle changes beforehand , like change of eye color , skin color , beginnings of a tail , etc , are something that I may or may not decide to do . As long as the small changes don 't affect the Pokemon to the point where they can 't function normally , I don 't see a problem with it . Lol , I 'll probably end up sticking to my version Thanks ! Their relationship is one area I think is really integral to the story , so its been something I 've been trying really hard on . Thanks for noticing . I 'm sure she was , which is why the first thing she did after she was able to rest was start eating . . . . WHAT ? Argh , massive cliffhanger ! ;_ ; I hope Dorian doesn 't die . I like Dorian . I like their interactions here a lot . You do a good job at showing how they get along yet how they like to playfully fight with each other . ( Also , this is like my dream situation . I like being lazy . ) Well , this explains a lot . Yay for Dorian and Shelton backstory ! Now that I think about it , anyway , I prefer them to have sibling - like relationship rather than a romantic one . I wouldn 't really use the word " obviously " in third person . It can make the readers feel dumb especially if they don 't realize what you 're actually trying to say . Also expecting your readers to know things is silly . If you said , however : " it was obvious to Ethan that Alakazam was trying to keep them both level … " or something , that 'd be fine , since it 's attributed to your character , not the readers . Hope that makes sense . Ignorance does not excuse a crime , and this was an offense that would not be forgiven . Amusing . Oh , Shelton , you 're such a flirt . She was swooning over this man with no regard to what she looked like ; which to Dorian was akin to her asking for a three course dinner at a hardware store . Even more amusing . I 'd totally like to see this scene . And it 's just like Dorian to be like … what the hell are you doing ? LOL . A course a guy would say no . Also , I like the hint of Dorian not liking people from other regions . I 've seen a lot of rivalry between regions being implemented in fics , and I 've always found it pretty interesting . It 's kind of like the pokémon version of racism … since no one ever seems to have actual race prominent in their fics . Nuzleaf randomly showing up LOL . If even the pokémon know you 're kinda going around too much , then that sounds like a pretty big deal . " Yeah , " Dorian replied . " He 's coming . " Lol , at first I think Ronnie , but you cut this section off at the perfect point to where the readers realizes - well , * * * * , Ethan 's coming too . Confident that his Scyther would arrive momentarily , Ethan turned back to examine the city . A red shingled Pokemon Center sat up the right , while farther back and to the left resided an almost depressed looking market ; its blue roof cracked and weathered with age . Houses were strewn across the city like random fallen raindrops , with no order or discernible pattern to their placement . Slabs of rock decorated the ground every few hundred feet , some no bigger than basketballs , while others were as large as cars ; a testament to the city 's rocky beginning . This is a very interesting and descriptive take on Pewter City . Yeah , it 's supposed to be a really ancient city and kind of old , but the games / anime never really show that . I like this a lot . " You 're not getting off that easy , " Ethan replied , clamping down on her arm so hard that his hand began to cramp . As evil as it sounds , I really like this part . It shows just how serious Ethan is about this situation . He 's willing to go pretty damn far for it , even if it means that his pokémon get hurt . The only problem was , he had taken shape completely nude . As soon as Machoke 's eyes took in his new form and the area he was in , he quickly started crying and covering his lower body in embarrassment . Poor Machoke . This is a pretty interesting take on the pokémon . Usually they 're all supposed to have heavyweight belts or something , but it just doesn 't make sense for them to materialize out of nowhere . I like this realistic take on Machoke . It also gave great insight to his character . : P Poor guy . I also liked the ending a lot . Looks like Dorian 's going through something similar that Ethan does because of the stone . Out - of - body experiences can certainly be interesting . Overall , your description was really good in this chapter , as usual . I could see everything very clearly . There was also a lot more interactive dialogue in this chapter , I think … And I think you 're getting a lot better at it . You really know how to portray a character 's personality and such through their words alone , which is a good skill to have . Anyway , I look forward to seeing more . | | survival project | | phantom project | | Posts 526 Sorry for the delay , but its here now . I tried to find any remaining grammatical errors , but I 'm still not that good in that area , so please correct me if any of my statements prove to be false . Well , let 's get started . Requiem , an interesting choice for a story title . It means a church service for someone who has died , or a piece of music for that service , a slightly morbid piece of foreshadowing in my opinion . Still , catchy title . Originally Posted by Sidewinder Supposed to be inseparable . A very well written start to this story . You explain the boy 's childhood and give us many details of his situation including the fact that he has an Abra with similar issues . The scene with the chamber is a little rushed in my opinion , going from the boy losing sight of the tour group to being attacked by a wild Pokemon to getting dragged through a wall to the alter and the crystal , but this is the prologue so I guess its all right if its short . A great chapter , you described the Growlithe battle with much detail as well as introducing Dorian and Nuzleaf . Shelton is well on her way to becoming my favorite character , her no - nonsense attitude and treatment of Dorian who is a polar opposite of her make for quite the funny scene . I 'd like to mention the passage at the end of the chapter . This man is a strange character , he doesn 't show the signs of an outright antagonist - in fact the prologue makes him seem more like a protagonist with his new powers and the voices . You set up his story so that his quest will eventually intersect with Dorian and Shelton now that Dorian has that artifact . Originally Posted by Sidewinder Nothing wrong with this passage , I just found it funny . It 's a sign of a good author when they can input humor into a story and not detract from the main plot . Originally Posted by Sidewinder " Well , from the limited amount of information we 've gathered on the marker 's , they 're supposedly forged from metal ; but out of a rare ore we think is obsidian . Though we don 't know for sure because there is so little discovered throughout the world today , only a few grams or so . We know that from their description , its jet black , weighing much less than other metal ore 's they would have had access to back then . From what the Director is thinking , he attributed it more to a hollow , glossy diamond , instead of metal . " Again , a well written chapter . A few grammatical errors , but the number of them is decreasing as more chapters pass . Which is always a good sign of improvement . We see the financial situation that Dorian and Shelton are in , which , provides a good incentive for them to deliver the artifact to Dorian 's uncle ( I know that doesn 't happen until chapter three , but I 'm pointing it out now ) . And the man 's quest for the shards , and absorbing them , nice description with that . Originally Posted by Sidewinder The man didn 't know where they were going next , but he knew that the next time he slept , he would be told . He was always told where to go and how to better himself and his Pokemon . The voices would whisper to him in his dreams , guiding him towards additional power , guiding him to more knowledge , and eventually , guiding him to his destiny . And now we are introduced to a new character of sorts , the voices . While we don 't know whether the man is the villain of this story yet , we know that it is these voices that guide him on his quest for some unknown reason . You 're introducing his character slowly , so that the readers only see a small bit of his personality at a time . A nice touch , his " destiny " adds another bit of mystery to the plot . Originally Posted by Sidewinder " No . That catch phrase is never going to catch on . Besides that , its barely a catch phrase . Its just random words that have nothing to do with our current situation . " I 'm not sure on this one , but it sounds better if it said " quickly " not " quick " . The few errors aside , a good chapter . This is where the real adventure begins . I find it a little strange that Dorian just found that rare artifact covered by a thin layer of dirt , while the others were in hidden , underground chambers that had to be forced open with a Pokemon attack . I realize that it 's for the plot , but I 'm not sure why this certain artifact was so easy to find . Just a little oddity I was wondering about . As of this chapter , Dorian and Shelton , and even Ethan 's characters seem to be developing steadily , with details of back - story and personality being revealed gradually as to not overwhelm readers . You have an excellent balance of plot development , character development , details , and humor . You also make the Pokemon very memorable and make their individual personalities shine . Yet another reason why I enjoy this story . When you are doing quick back - and - forth dialogue , you don 't need the names and verbs ( " Dorian exclaimed " , etc . Just let it flow , untagged line after untagged line . It will feel a LOT more natural , and will read just as it is supposed to . As long as each character has a distinctive voice , the readers should be able to keep up with the flow for several lines at a time . The cliff face to the left began to shift . Slowly at first , almost accidentally , as if it was struggling to decide whether it wanted to keep its shape . White eyes opened along the expanse of the cliff , blinking slowly . Upon closer inspection , legs and arms became visible . The roughly hewn limbs made out of the same rock they were latched onto . The shapes communicated by moving themselves against the rocks , listening to the craggy vibrations that were made when they did so I LOVE the part about the Geodude / Graveler / Whatever communicating through vibration . That 's incredibly realistic and creative . I 'm not enamored with the " Upon closer inspection , legs and arms became visible " line because that sounds almost like script direction than actual prose . Do you get what I mean ? - The ending was fantastic , and I loved the bit with Golduck and Machop and their relationship with Golduck trying to reassure , and later protect him . This is a nice , interesting plot twist to interrupt the main storyline . No Ethan , just the new threat of angry Gravelers . And the two biggest threats to them were neutralized first ? Angry SMART Gravelers . The semi - colon needs to be a comma . Semi - colons indicate that a sentence can be split into two separate ones without being fragments . Commas separate the fragments that wouldn 't pass as regular sentences . If you don 't want to replace the semi - colon , you might want to replace " having " with " he had " . I know that the worker is supposed to have a bit of an accented drawl , and I love the fact that you gave him a noticeable accent and personality ; it makes him all the more memorable . However , the two bolded words were misspelled . " Folks " shouldn 't have an apostrophe ; it 's a single word that would denote Dorian and Shelton . And the apostrophe in " y ' all " is supposed to be between the " y " and the " a " , since it 's a shortened version of " you all " . Ethan hated all of it ; it was so , unorganized . There weren 't even clear paths for people to walk on , instead there were just random trails of stomped grass crisscrossing in every direction . This poor excuse of a city was nothing compared to his home in Saffron , where manicured lawns and glass high - rises reigned supreme . Ethan would deal with this situation quickly and get back home ; back to a place with proper people and actual order . Shaking his head , he reached into his back pocket and pulled it out ; but it wasn 't his phone he had retrieved , it was the shard . It was pulsing lightly , almost like a gentle heartbeat . Dorian didn 't understand why the marker was moving . It didn 't have anything inside it , at least to the best of his knowledge it didn 't . I actually felt sorry for Scyther , and I don 't blame her at all for lashing out at her trainer . Hell , I don 't think she should 've apologized for that ; what Ethan did to her was completely unnecessary and cruel , especially when she showed that she did feel bad about cutting the cable wires . I also felt sorry for Rapidash ; he pushed her way beyond her limits and then wouldn 't let her rest or eat . I truly think that Ethan , in his madness , is going to end up killing one of his own Pokemon . I just wonder if it would be an accident or on purpose . I also wonder which one would end up paying the ultimate price . The characterization of Dorian and Shelton was nice to see . It 's really amusing to see their interactions with each other . The part where Shelton fell head over heels for a mere electrician and Dorian 's reaction was especially hilarious . " [ C ] hucked " . Unless they spewed them at him . Which . . . ew . The Graveler threw the rocks they were holding , each handful tripling in size as they raced towards their target . I was curious about this . Is it a Graveler power , to increase the size of the rocks ? Or was it just describing the change in Nuzleaf 's percerption of them as they got closer to him ? You 're going to get REAL TIRED , REAL FAST of me talking about the Pokeflect , but to me , it 's such a fascinating concept . Would the Pokeflect work if given TO a pokemon ? If not , why not just give them some ? I can imagine that in battle they 'd be barred , but for just journeying around ? Hell , I 'd give my Pokemon at least one ! It would make them indestructible to random acts like this . It was just then that Shuppet wailed , the noise resonating in his eardrums like a nearby foghorn . Wow , obscure reference for the win . When I first read that , I thought " What , like the cartoon rooster ? " I can just see Shuppet saying " Why , I say , son , I say . . . ! " As Dorian rolled to a stop , he shouted , " Growlithe , use flamethrower ! Shuppet , shadow ball ! " The attacks merged together as they hit their target , Growlithe 's flames turning a sickly shade of black and grey . Also , very creative . Combining attacks to make a multi - purpose kind of blast . Very well - done creatively . I can imagine only about a thousand uses for such a concept . Judging from their shattered flesh they had died from the demolition charges that the road crew had planted . I 'm telling you , this entire story could be about the Pokeflect , and I 'd be happy . What a wonderful toy . - I have to say , I 'm obviously not happy that Golduck had to die , but it almost had to happen . Golduck had , to this point and ESPECIALLY in this chapter , proven to be way too powerful . Not that he shouldn 't have been , but it had me thinking " What can really stand up to this thing ? " So it makes sense he had to sacrifice himself . I 'm guessing some of the humor is going to fade out now , at least on some scale . Dorian probably won 't be so headstrong and fun - loving now that he 's seen someone so close to him perish . Which is kind of a shame , but I 'll see where you go from here . Serebii FanFiction 2014 Awards Posts 979 Hi ! I 'm new to this fic and as such have only read through chapter one , but I 'm totally hooked . The Pokeflect is a nice touch , sounding like a very real invention that totally would be needed as technology increases . I like the world you 've created , and I 'm intrigued as to how the Granite Cave boy will connect with Dorian . I also really enjoy his Trapinch 's gradual shift to evolution . It 's a neat touch . ^ This is my new fanfic . It 's a work in progress , so please read and comment at your discretion . I hope you like it . I think you will . Oof . This made me wince . Good description . " He 's dead Shelton , " Dorian said . " I saw , s - saw the energy discharge from his head right before the rock Pokemon hit him . He couldn 't have survived it . I mean , I saw it swallow his body . " Okay , I was curious as to why Golduck just . . . exploded earlier . Not saying that it wasn 't well - written to end chapter six , but I thought the Gravelers had exploded IT . This way makes more sense ; I had just misunderstood , I guess . Shelton backed up several paces , her hands hooking into claws . Golduck couldn 't be dead ! He wouldn 't leave her , not like this , not ever . She drug her hands across her scalp , trying in vain to tear the thought away . She looked around , studying the scene before her . Tears came faster when she saw Machop 's body , pitching her into even more despair . His frail frame was broken , his legs bent into odd angles . She rushed forward , only to stop in place . Golduck and Machop , both of them were hurt . Shelton knew Golduck wasn 't dead ; it wasn 't even something she could comprehend . She was stuck in place , unable to decide what to do . She wanted to climb out of the crater and find Golduck , but at the same time she couldn 't just leave Machop . Indecision rooted her , turned her into molasses . Time slowed , her thoughts became even more muddled . Machop or Golduck , Machop or Golduck ? This shocked me out of the story because , to my knowledge , the narration had not previously been attached to Shelton . Yet , all of the sudden , here it was , and the reader was inside her head instead of Dorian 's . I might have missed the narration being inside everyone 's head earlier , but I thought it was exclusive to Dorian ( except with Ethan and Alakazam were " on - screen " ) . Dorian knew she was capable of a complete mental breakdown and that she was well on her way . Oh ? What is this tasty morsel ? Foreshadowing AND character development ? Me likey . The duck Pokemon was firmly embedded in the rock wall in front of Dorian . His tongue hung limp out of his open bill , saliva dripping down to pool on the ground below . Golduck 's lifeless pupils were dilated to the extreme , speaking volumes of the inactivity behind them . As Dorian kept looking up , he saw that the small jewel in Golduck 's forehead had shattered , leaving a gaping hole . Lavender psychic energy drifted lazily out of the gap in his skull , forming a bubble above Golduck 's head . Regardless of Dorian 's intentions , the red beam continued forward , striking the sapphire avian in the sternum . Golduck 's body morphed into solid energy and returned to his Pokeball . Dorian stared at the red and ivory ball in his hand , a few tears rolling sideways off of its glossy surface . Or maybe not . - I 'm not sure what I think about Golduck possibly being alive . In chapter 6 I thought Golduck was overpowered and that was before I realize he caused that explosion . . . and was able to survive it . I 'm not sure at this point what could possibly threaten these two characters with this Golduck on their team ( except , possibly an even more powerful psychic type , and GEE WHERE MIGHT THEY ENCOUNTER ONE OF THOSE ? ) - I like the notion of Machop 's body basically forcing an evolution as a means of survival . It makes even more sense why you 've chosen to display evolution the way you had previously now . Very foresightful of you . It was quite a unique desperation tactic by Machop 's body , though . I wonder just how common this may or may not be . Hm . - You know what ? I haven 't missed Ethan at all . I have adored the chapters recently without him . I don 't mean to say that he wasn 't interesting , but it was a joy to read all the Graveler stuff without interruption .
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I 'm very tired as I do this at the moment , and I gotta say , the sudden action woke me up already . Cool way to get back into the action that was present before Ethan 's chapter , especially now that there 's an interesting comparison ( before , they were fighting enemies , and now , they 're fighting each other ) . The two had been sparing for the better part of an hour , both being pushed to the edge of their physical limits as they struggled to best one another . I 'd also put a comma instead of a semi - colon . From what I 've learned , the sentence before and after the semi - colon should be able to be a standalone sentence . But the sentence after the semi - colon here can 't be by itself and still make sense . Nuzleaf climbed onto her lap and looked up at her with his wide eyes , cupping her face softly in his hands as he looked at her . She smiled down at him , touched by the Pokemon 's gesture of affection . Reaching down , she scratched a spot at the small of Nuzleaf 's back , dragging her sharp nails across his wooden body . The sound the nails made as they moved always gave her goose bumps , but Nuzleaf loved it and immediately hugged her close , burying his face in her hair . D ' awwwww , have I ever mentioned how much I love the pokémon Nuzleaf ? This is an adorable image . I 'm going to go be a typical squeeing fangirl now . The once bright sapphire duck 's feathers were now a muted shade of blue , signaling the stress that it had exposed to . Anyway , I agree with Glover when he says that this was a nice conclusion to the Graveler incident . The part I liked the most was going back and forth between Shelton 's grieving over Golduck and the spar between Dorian and Nuzleaf . To me , it was as if the Graveler fight was still happening , in a sense . The fighting spirit and suspense was still entirely present , and you portrayed the idea that all of them were still fighting ( both literally and figuratively ) to live and / or move on with their lives even though there was no real danger present anymore . It makes me reflect on the idea that everyone is always fighting every moment of every day , pretty much . I hope that makes sense . It 's not something I can easily put into words , but it was a good feeling nonetheless . Also , I thought that Dorian and Shelton were a couple ? Am I wrong ? Shelton kissing the technician on the cheek and mentioning falling in love with him seemed odd to me for this reason , and also because she was just unbelievably angry and bitter moments before she did such a thing . I guess it 's understandable that her emotions would be going crazy at the moment , and it was cute nonetheless , but still , it left me wondering about Dorian . Overall , the chapter felt complete and full of emotions , just as the conclusion of such a horrific event should feel . The only thing I might have added was Shelton reflecting on Golduck 's possible feelings of losing his psychic power . Does he value it ? Does Shelton think it won 't effect him ? I mention this because Golduck 's personality wasn 't revealed enough for us readers to know yet ( though I may have just forgotten , in which case , feel free to ignore me ) , but I expect that you 'll be showing the aftereffects soon enough , and you 'll have us as readers wishing we had known him more before the incident as well ( which isn 't a bad thing - I would find that kind of interesting , actually ) . Keep up the good work ~ Anyway , my ramblings aside , this a was a wonderful closure piece to the graveler scene , Although I find it a bit odd that Mr . Thompson didn 't arrange an automated pressure release . The way the spike sounds , it 's like something that must be manually drained . My dad was ona Colostomy bag , such things as manual body drains are not fun . Surely there 's a way to rig a one - way valve , or maybe that 's just not in Viridian 's reprritoire . That 's correct . I see what you 're saying , but for some reason this sounded a little bit better for me . The idea came from the movie ' Three Kings ' . Mark Wahlberg 's character gets shot in the lung at one point , and when his friends have to install this release valve for building air pressure in the lung . Occasionly he has to turn the valve to release the stored pressure , aloowing him to breathe . Ah well thanks ! The bit with the ICU and Golduck 's explanation was actually something I tried really hard on , so I 'm glad you noticed . And yeah , the whole Nurse Joy wonderful attitude happy go lucky thing never really went over well with me . I felt like this was much more realistic , glad you think so too That was something that I wasn 't really sure about . I hoped it would go over well , so I 'm glad you commented on it . I felt like it would be a good way to transition from what was happening right then , while also giving a backstory on the events that happened after the Graveler attack . One thing , you use the phrase " knocking him sprawling " once . I can ; t find anything wrong with it , it 's just a little bit odd to me . Maybe I 'm just used to hearing " Sending him sprawling " which is the exact same thing , just sounds different . I don 't know . Maybe it 's another regional thing . I see what you 're saying . I went back and looked , and I feel like they both work . I 'm going to keep it the way it is , but thanks for bringing it to my attention . Anyway , I agree with Glover when he says that this was a nice conclusion to the Graveler incident . The part I liked the most was going back and forth between Shelton 's grieving over Golduck and the spar between Dorian and Nuzleaf . To me , it was as if the Graveler fight was still happening , in a sense . The fighting spirit and suspense was still entirely present , and you portrayed the idea that all of them were still fighting ( both literally and figuratively ) to live and / or move on with their lives even though there was no real danger present anymore . It makes me reflect on the idea that everyone is always fighting every moment of every day , pretty much . I hope that makes sense . It 's not something I can easily put into words , but it was a good feeling nonetheless . Once again , that was exactly what I was shooting for . I 've always found the relation between emotional / physical trauma and future actions . Back in my wasteful youth days , I got into a fist fight with a few guys and got beat up . It was so loud , and intense , and I had never been in a fight before so it somewhat affected for a few days after that . I 'd hear a loud noise and tense up , like I was expecting it to happen all over again . So I kinda of drew heavily on that for this chapter , if that makes sense . None of them are going to be okay for awhile I think , but you 're right , we fight battles everyday , luckily though its not against hordes of furios rock Pokemon . I won 't deny that if I read this story and wasn 't the writer , I would say they have some obvious chemistry , but no , they 're not together . I mentioned in a few chapters that they 're just roomates , and they have been for a very long time . I 'm actually touching on their back stories some more in the next chapter , and it should firm up their motives and feelings for each other a little more clearly . The only thing I might have added was Shelton reflecting on Golduck 's possible feelings of losing his psychic power . Does he value it ? Does Shelton think it won 't effect him ? That 's going to be gone into before , and after Golduck is healed up and released . I think she was just so relieved that she was close to him again and that he was okay , that she kinda bypassed thinking about the long term ramifications of the loss of that ability . That 's going to be expanded on greatly eventually . It 's going to be alot for him to deal with , and for her as well . Thanks for reviewing once again ! The premise is very interesting ; a young couple delivering a priceless artifact for much needed money and an unbalanced man who will make every effort to stop them . However , I find all of their motives to be compelling , even the antagonist - at least , the person who you 're setting up to be the antagonist . Dorian and Shelton are two young people trying to pay off their bills and care for their Pokemon . Dorian obviously has a dream to be a strong trainer , while Shelton 's motives are a little more unclear ( although I would think that getting married would be one of them ) . Meanwhile , Ethan grew up alone and friendless aside from his Abra / Alakazam . He 's desperate for the voices to stay in his head because they 've been friendly to him . I actually pity him ; he doesn 't know that they might turn on him in an instant . It took three chapters to build up steam , but when the action started . . . I have to admit that I was very impressed . The stress of Dorian and Shelton in the immediate aftermath of the Graveler attack is strikingly realistic , and their emotions plucked at my heartstrings . I could feel their shock , pain , anger , and sadness as if it were my own . I honestly don 't think that you could have done any better than you did . My favorite character right now has to be Alakazam . He 's shown the most personality so far out of all of the Pokemon , and while I like all of the human characters , I feel a certain connection to Alakazam . He 's definitely a wildcard in all of this . When it comes down to it , will he stay loyal to the trainer and friend he 's known since he was an Abra or will he go with his morals and try to save the innocent couple ? What a fascinating dilemma . . . Anyway , the plot looks rather sound as well . Like I said , it started out slow at first , but once Dorian and Shelton set out to Pewter , it picked up its pace . It hasn 't slowed down yet , and it has kept my interest at a high level , which is always a good thing when it comes to the average fickle reader . Before I say anything else , I want to correct the bolded parts . The bolded comma is unnecessary and needs to be taken out , and an " s " needs to be added to the end of the word " move " . The apostrophe you used in the second sentence is a typo ; you want quotation marks at the end . However , that 's not what concerned me . Why capitalize " Reflect " and " Light Screen " if you 're not going to capitalize any other Pokemon move ? An element of consistency is needed . You might want to put " Reflect " and " Light Screen " in lower - case , since every other Pokemon move is in lower - case . Commas should be in between each of the two bolded words . Commas should be used whenever there 's a pause in a sentence . The full - stop ( period ) should be a comma , as was said by other readers before me . Like they said , a comma should be used in a spoken sentence , while full - stops can be used if the person is using an action ( for example , Dorian winking at the Growlithe in a previous sentence ) . Going back and correcting that error would be nice . You mispelled Shelton 's name . Just a minor typo that I thought I 'd point out . " That 's great Dorian , I 'm glad that when we get tossed to the street we 'll have a nice warm Growlithe to live in . " she said , rolling her eyes and turning to Nuzleaf . " You hungry sweetheart ? " The period should be replaced with a comma , but that 's not what I wanted to mention . Whenever a character is speaking to someone and addressing them directly , you need to use a comma before or after their name or the title they 're being addressed as , depending on where the word is placed . Basically , since Shelton is addressing Dorian , you need to put a comma between the word " great " and his name . Same with Nuzleaf . Since she 's addressing him as " sweetheart " , you need to place a comma between the two bolded words . The whispers had led him to a cave in the recent months , in the sand swept plains of the desert in Hoenn . The cave bearing another flake he took into himself . The cave he found near Route 111 however had something extra . A shard of stone from the enormous tablet he had seen in Granite Cave years ago . People the man walked past throughout the day forgot him as soon as he passed . A somewhat average looking man with long , wavy tan hair , an Alakazam keeping stride to his right . " The whispers had recently led him to a cave in the sand swept plains of the desert in Hoenn . It had contained another flake , which he had took into himself . However , the cave he found near Route 111 had something else : a shard of stone from the enormous tablet he had seen in Granite Cave years ago . The people that the man walked past throughout the day forgot him as soon as he passed . Even with the Alakazam keeping stride to his right , he was an average - looking man with long , wavy tan hair being the only other physical attribute of note . " I don 't have a problem with your characters so far , but the personalities of the Pokemon could use a bit more description . Show them as themselves . You 've done that with Nuzleaf and Alakazam . Why not show the rest ? Just a thought . You 're the second person to think that Dorian and Shelton are a couple . I tried my best to describe how close they were , and if some people think they 're together , I guess I did just that . But no , they are not a couple . Alot more of their backstory will be revealed in the next chapter . Which should help to put that theory to rest . They 've known each other for a VERY long time , and the closeness of their relationship is just a result of the sibling like love they have for each other . It took three chapters to build up steam , but when the action started . . . I have to admit that I was very impressed . The stress of Dorian and Shelton in the immediate aftermath of the Graveler attack is strikingly realistic , and their emotions plucked at my heartstrings . I could feel their shock , pain , anger , and sadness as if it were my own . I honestly don 't think that you could have done any better than you did . I 'm glad you noticed . It was one part that I tried really hard on . I 'm glad its gone over so well with so many people . Thanks ! ^^ My favorite character right now has to be Alakazam . He 's shown the most personality so far out of all of the Pokemon , and while I like all of the human characters , I feel a certain connection to Alakazam . He 's definitely a wildcard in all of this . When it comes down to it , will he stay loyal to the trainer and friend he 's known since he was an Abra or will he go with his morals and try to save the innocent couple ? What a fascinating dilemma . . . I don 't have a problem with your characters so far , but the personalities of the Pokemon could use a bit more description . Show them as themselves . You 've done that with Nuzleaf and Alakazam . Why not show the rest ? Just a thought . You 're completely right . Right before I saw your review , I told myself the exact same thing . They are all an integral part of the story , and I 'm not doing right by them if I dont expand on them more . In the coming chapters , you 'll see alot more of their personalities . Shall I add you to the PM list then ? And thanks very much for the review . I really appreciate it as you pointed out some things that I know could use some polishing . To everyone else reading / reviewing , the new chapter should be out by Monday night . - I 'm wondering why the boy didn 't feel connected to his adoptive parents . I get that they aren 't his real birth parents , but I wonder why he seems so . . . mad about them . They certainly seem nice . Is the boy going through a rebellious time ? I 'm stuck with this question , and I hope it gets delved into . SLAM ! I 'm not a particularly big fan of sound - effects in prose , but to each their own . I get that it 's a preference thing . the soft skin on his arms tearing easily on the ground as he rolled to a stop . OW . Good image , though . It actually makes me wince when I read it . Excellent work , that . Abra limped towards his master , favoring his left leg . The psychic pokemon 's right leg bore a long gash up the side of its thigh , Usually when someone is " favoring " a leg , that means they are protecting it because it 's the weaker or injured one . So does Abra have two major leg injuries ? Because if I had a long gash on one leg , I might be favoring that , but if the left leg has bone / tendon damage , that would result in favoring it no matter what wound the right leg has . I guess I was just confused here is all . As the boy and his Abra looked in wonder at the strange object , a small stony flake , glistening slightly in the oily light of the conjured orb , began to skitter across the top of the altar , seemingly of its own accord . As the boy and his pokemon noticed the flake , they stiffened , perceiving a new threat . A little unwieldy starting two consecutive sentence with the same lines " As the boy and his . . . " . OVERALL : Very interesting beginning . What the heck kind of serrated blade is so powerful that it cuts through large stone tablets ? I 'd be scared as heck at the thought of that if I were in Boy 's shoes . And I desperately hope we see more of Boy because I really want his backstory with the adoptive parents . Okay , this is a good idea . How haven 't more people been injured by Pokemon ? Because of this device ! I 'm only 2 lines in here , and I very much want to know more about this thing . I think you could make a whole story around this device , actually . Does it protect against , say , a Scyther 's claws ? And if so , would you protect someone from ANY kind of blade ? Or ANY kind of fire ? I have a feeling I might just be digressing , though . " bullet seed ! ' Dorian roared . I 'm actually NOT going to say you need to capitalize the names of moves ( because I don 't , either generally , but you should capitalize the beginning of a sentence . No sooner had he given the command , the Growlithe righted itself and charged his Nuzleaf , orange flame licking the pits of its nostrils . The grass type followed behind , purpose written across its scarred face ; it jumped and landed on top of the Growlithe , using both legs to pin down the pup . I like those . Nice description there . - Okay , I read that one section a few times , and I can 't , for the life of me , figure out what the violet energy that picked up and flipped over Dorian was . Can you explain ? I 'm assuming it was some kind of psychic attack , but was it from Golduck ? Or even Shelton ? What was it ? - Aaannnddd . . . okay , Boy did not grow up to be Dorian . That makes sense , I guess . Boy is going to be . . . the villain of the story ? Maybe ? Way too early to conjecture on that , I suppose . Definitely intrigued by him , though . - I 'm wondering why the boy didn 't feel connected to his adoptive parents . I get that they aren 't his real birth parents , but I wonder why he seems so . . . mad about them . They certainly seem nice . Is the boy going through a rebellious time ? I 'm stuck with this question , and I hope it gets delved into . Usually when someone is " favoring " a leg , that means they are protecting it because it 's the weaker or injured one . So does Abra have two major leg injuries ? Because if I had a long gash on one leg , I might be favoring that , but if the left leg has bone / tendon damage , that would result in favoring it no matter what wound the right leg has . I guess I was just confused here is all . I see what you 're saying . I 'll have to check on that , because my understanding of ' favoring ' , is that you are doing more with that limb than another because the other is somewhat incapacitated . You 're favoring the one that 's in good condition . I 'll check on that to be sure , and If it needs to be changed I 'll do so . Thanks for bringing it to my attention . OVERALL : Very interesting beginning . What the heck kind of serrated blade is so powerful that it cuts through large stone tablets ? I 'd be scared as heck at the thought of that if I were in Boy 's shoes . And I desperately hope we see more of Boy because I really want his backstory with the adoptive parents Anyhoo , I 've noticed you hadn 't named the latest two chapters . Any reasoning for that ? Wait . . . * looks back * Oh durr , you haven 't been using names at all . Your " cause " , " effect " , and " aftermath " caused me to believe that . And now that I think about it , I don 't think they were needed at all . We would 've figured out what the chapter was about without that little reminder . Now to the two chapters I missed . I pity Ethan . He 's going through so much pain to gather up these flakes , and yet these voices keep up this ruse of being friendly to him , and showing gratitude for saving them . Alakazam can see through this , but because of his loyalty to Ethan , he has to do as he says , even though it hurts him more . Man , that 's dark . You really were convincing us Golduck wasn 't going to make it , and the somber piano music I 'm currently playing makes that hurt a lot ( because the song 's just that effective ) . Still , I am happy he 's alive , even though he 's going to be a changed duck from now on . I like the explanations the doctor gave about the gem . Something tells me you did some research a bit before writing that , or at least know a little bit about the brain ( well , biology in general ) , because that 's really impressive . Posts 1 , 116 " I 'm instituting a new rule , " Shelton began , crossing her legs and leaning forward . " From now on , all your decision making privileges have been revoked . Other than involuntary bodily functions you have to perform in order to survive , I want you on the sofa , sitting on your hands at all times . " I 'm curious as to the relationship here . Are they roommates ? Siblings ? Parent and child ? Lovers ? I 'm sure I 'll get it eventually , but I 'm kind of lost on it so far . After a pensive look , Dorian said , " I request the right to argue for a lower amount after I 've thought of a good enough excuse . " I like that . It 's like a good sitcom line . " Machop is under the house again , " she answered . " We were out back pulling weeds , when that soulless Sunflora popped out and started terrorizing him again . Shuppet is in her usual spot " I like this , too , as it really makes them feel like pets ( which I 'm sure you 've realized from my fic is how I more - or - less picture pokemon ) . A Machop getting harassed by an angry Sunflora . . . that really is kind of striking . I can see the Sunflora yipping at it when I recreate the scene in my head . Kind of a " show , don 't tell " problem here : I 'd rather the story display to me that he 's a genius than the narration say it outright . " How you doing , hotshot ? " his uncle asked . " Still driving the girls crazy ? " I would MAYBE have liked a BIT more set - up here , but as it stands , it seems like an amazingly unlikely coincidence . This guy literally trips over an ancient artifact , and then 5 minutes later his scientist uncle calls him and says he 's looking for it ? That 's one - in - a - trillion or so . The wall whimpered in protest , trying to hold its shape , struggling to retain the only purpose it ever had . With a groan , the wall slid forward into a pile of rubble at the Rhydon 's outsized feet Okay , I love all that . The man didn 't know where they were going next , but he knew that the next time he slept , he would be told . He was always told where to go and how to better himself and his Pokemon . The voices would whisper to him in his dreams , guiding him towards additional power , guiding him to more knowledge , and eventually , guiding him to his destiny Good ending there . What kind of " power " is he getting from these things ? He still seems ordinary , what with Alakazam having to save his life . So what are they doing to them ? I 'm sensing an eventual face turn from Alakazam , too , where he betrays his trainer and works to save him from what the flakes are doing to him . Anyhoo , I 've noticed you hadn 't named the latest two chapters . Any reasoning for that ? Wait . . . * looks back * Oh durr , you haven 't been using names at all . Your " cause " , " effect " , and " aftermath " caused me to believe that . And now that I think about it , I don 't think they were needed at all . We would 've figured out what the chapter was about without that little reminder . I see what you 're saying . I named those chapters because of the seriousness of the situations they faced . I think if I 'm going to names the chapters , I should be more consistent , as to avoid confusion . I think I 'm going to leave them the way that they are , but thanks for pointing that out . I pity Ethan . He 's going through so much pain to gather up these flakes , and yet these voices keep up this ruse of being friendly to him , and showing gratitude for saving them . Alakazam can see through this , but because of his loyalty to Ethan , he has to do as he says , even though it hurts him more . Man , that 's dark . You really were convincing us Golduck wasn 't going to make it , and the somber piano music I 'm currently playing makes that hurt a lot ( because the song 's just that effective ) . Still , I am happy he 's alive , even though he 's going to be a changed duck from now on . I like the explanations the doctor gave about the gem . Something tells me you did some research a bit before writing that , or at least know a little bit about the brain ( well , biology in general ) , because that 's really impressive . I flirted with the idea of letting him die for a long time . With that music you had playing , I can see how it may have worked haha . I have had some schooling when it comes to biology , but most of my explanation with Golduck 's brain / physiology is just stuff I made up . I 've always loved Psyduck and Golduck , so over the years I 've come up with alot of theories with how their mental prowess works . Thanks ! I 'm curious as to the relationship here . Are they roommates ? Siblings ? Parent and child ? Lovers ? I 'm sure I 'll get it eventually , but I 'm kind of lost on it so far . I mentioned once or twice before that line that they were roomates . Looking back at later chapters , I can see how their relationship would be confusing . Dorian is extremely impulsive , wereas Shelton is calculated and responsible . She acts like a parent towards him alot of the time , which is the main reason she 's so cross towards him sometimes . I like this , too , as it really makes them feel like pets ( which I 'm sure you 've realized from my fic is how I more - or - less picture pokemon ) . A Machop getting harassed by an angry Sunflora . . . that really is kind of striking . I can see the Sunflora yipping at it when I recreate the scene in my head . I would MAYBE have liked a BIT more set - up here , but as it stands , it seems like an amazingly unlikely coincidence . This guy literally trips over an ancient artifact , and then 5 minutes later his scientist uncle calls him and says he 's looking for it ? That 's one - in - a - trillion or so . Lol , it is unlikely . The reasoning behind that will become clear later on Good ending there . What kind of " power " is he getting from these things ? He still seems ordinary , what with Alakazam having to save his life . So what are they doing to them ? I 'm sensing an eventual face turn from Alakazam , too , where he betrays his trainer and works to save him from what the flakes are doing to him That will be revealed with some of the chapters I 've posted . Alakazam is in a complicated place . Even when he was an Abra so many years ago , he knew that Ethan should not get involved , but couldn 't stop him . Now that he 's grown and matured , he may end up being able to express himself to Ethan better . I hope so at least I figure you mean " body slam " in that he unintentionally rammed his body into them , but initially read it as " like when Hulk Hogan picked up and slammed Andre The Giant " and was very perplexed as to why the hell he would do that ? I guess he DOES owe that Golduck . LOL . Not a mistake on your part , but my pop - culture ensoaked brain gave me a tremendously funny visual . Thanks for that ! Kind of a silly moment since we haven 't seen this side of Shelton at all . But again . . . I LOL ' ed . " Let 's do it ! " Dorian announced . " Strap on the nitro ! " " No . That catch phrase is never going to catch on . Besides that , its barely a catch phrase . Its just random words that have nothing to do with our current situation . " - I like the quick , zippy dialogue here , because I usually write a lot of that ( my fic hasn 't given me much of a chance yet , but que sera sera ) . I really like two characters going back - and - forth in a rapid succession . SOME of the lines there seemed a little forced ( the " Last word freak " one stuck out to me ) , but by - and - large , it was a lot of fun to read . I enjoyed that part a lot . - It 's good seeing the plot develop here , and I like the irony that Dorian is leaving Johto for Kanto while Ethan is doing the opposite . Good job removing both characters from their element . I look forward to getting to chapter 4 tomorrow . " Shut it . Just because you had one good idea does not mean that I have a higher opinion of you . Besides , you still owe me for rent , " Shelton snarled . Dorian ducked out of her reach and walked a bit faster , muttering curses under his breath . The walk through Viridian Forest had only taken about two hours , and thankfully , it had been without incident . The woods were serene and silent , their colors exclaiming vibrant hues of gold , orange , and red . As Dorian and Shelton approached the borders of Pewter City , he whipped out his phone and called his uncle , bracing himself for his naturally booming voice . A tone sounded three times in rapid succession , signaling that his uncle had ignored his call . Confused , Dorian dialed again , only to be greeted by the same high pitched beeps . It was odd his uncle wasn 't answering , as he was probably expecting them by now . As they strode past the main entrance to the city , Dorian looked to the northeast and caught the familiar sight of the red roof of Ronnie 's house . Allowing himself a small smile , he looked over to Nuzleaf and Shelton , only to find them wearing the same expression . Ronnie would make their recent misfortune worthwhile ; he would put them back into their usual mindset . His uncle always exuded a sense of calm and jovial happiness , and had always done his best to make him and Shelton feel welcome and comfortable ; it was an unspoken promise he had kept ever since he started raising them . Ethan tightened his grip on Rapidash 's neck as he started to slip to the left . Just as he did however , he felt a gentle force press his body back into an upright position . Looking backwards , he saw a faint violet aura around his Alakazam . He noticed a similar aura taking shape around his own legs and waist ; obviously Alakazam 's attempt to keep them both level on the galloping horse . The group blew through the entrance to Viridian City like a tornado , sending people in their way dashing to the left and right for safety . A small line of flames traced a path behind them , the result of the drying grass being exposed to Rapidash 's intense heat . People to the east and west of the city looking their direction were only able to make out a shining streak of yellow and orange , racing through the northern exit of the city like a meteorite . Ethan stared straight ahead , not noticing or caring for the sharp yells of the people they passed . Ethan was on the path to his destiny , on the road towards two hooligans that had stolen something very precious from him . He would take back the shard from them of course , that was just a byproduct of the vengeance that was about to be released . Besides their crime of thievery , they had threatened the voices , and for that they would be punished . He knew that they probably didn 't know what they had done , but it didn 't matter . Ignorance does not excuse a crime , and this was an offense that would not be forgiven . He felt Alakazam flinch behind him as the words crossed his mind ; having no doubt that the psychic type had heard . Unfazed , Ethan used his heels to spurn Rapidash faster , his body starting to almost vibrate with eagerness . The forest they were traveling through morphed into a ring of brown and black as they sped up , Ethan 's eyes unable to focus due to the wind howling into them . He knew that Rapidash was already pushed to the edge of her abilities , but he dug his heels into her harder ; fire in his eyes and murder in his heart . They were standing about twenty feet from Ronnie 's front porch , stopped dead in their tracks by a withering mass of sparking electrical cables . The strands of thick plastic danced around about in a chaotic fashion , loud snaps ringing out as they discharged electricity . A crew of four men formed a square around the cables , waving their hands in warning as people walked by . They were all wearing identical blue jumpsuits with snowy white hardhats , their apparel streaked with layers of grime and sweat . The one closest to them saw them approaching and quickly trotted over , his hand fixed on the top of his head to keep his hard hat from bouncing off . " Sorry folk 's , but that 's as close as ya 'll are gonna get , " the man said , his vowels long and prominent . The man 's brow was drenched in sweat , which transitioned to his almost shoulder length hair that was of the same wet persuasion . A scraggly three - day growth of a beard was visible against intense hazel eyes . As he came to a stop in front of them , Dorian noticed two things . First , that the man was tanned and muscularly toned like that of a chiseled statue ; the second thing was that Shelton was salivating like a hungry Houndoom . " Pleased to meet you , James , " Shelton grinned , her voice giggling as she said his name . " You ain 't from Pewter , are you ? " James asked . Dorian watched the scene before him unfold in disgust , completely unaccustomed to Shelton 's blatant flirting . She was swooning over this man with no regard to what she looked like ; which to Dorian was akin to her asking for a three course dinner at a hardware store . Spying two children kicking a ball past them , Dorian took the opportunity to put Shelton out of her misery . " Oh come on , " Shelton replied . " Seriously Dorian , every woman between twelve and ninety - five with a pulse would think he 's hot . " " Did you just come up with that , or is that saying something you 've heard somewhere before ? " " You 're both morons , " Shelton moaned , clearly exasperated by the conversation . Just as Shelton was about to expand on her point , Dorian felt his phone vibrate in his pocket . Flipping his phone open , he said , " You better have a good reason for ignoring my call , I feel almost violated . " " It 's actually kind of complicated . I 'm leaving the museum , but I 'm under a sort of academic house arrest . The director gave the order to send the excavation team out a few days earlier than expected , which forced me to tell him about your discovery . " " To say the least . He was angry at first that I kept this from him , but his mood quickly changed as he realized that the find could save the museum a lot of money . The pictures you sent me sufficed for the moment , but he 's asked me to get the marker from you and bring it to him . " " Don 't worry about it , " Ronnie replied . " I 'm already on my way to the house , so I 'll just grab it when I get there . There 's still a composition test I want to do before I present it . " He looked over to Nuzleaf and Shelton to tell them what Ronnie said , but stopped when he noticed what appeared to be a fire near the southern entrance of the city . Squinting , he saw the fire flare brighter for a second , then vanish completely in a flash of red light . After deciding that it was probably just some random trainer battle , he turned back to his roommate . Ethan quickly dismounted his Rapidash as she trotted to a stop . They were situated at the outskirts of Pewter , only a stone 's throw away from the southern gate . He quickly looked around for his Scyther , dry grass crunching loudly beneath his boots . Confident that his Scyther would arrive momentarily , Ethan turned back to examine the city . A red shingled Pokemon Center sat up the right , while farther back and to the left resided an almost depressed looking market ; its blue roof cracked and weathered with age . Houses were strewn across the city like random fallen raindrops , with no order or discernible pattern to their placement . Slabs of rock decorated the ground every few hundred feet , some no bigger than basketballs , while others were as large as cars ; a testament to the city 's rocky beginning . Ethan hated all of it ; it was so , unorganized . There weren 't even clear paths for people to walk on , instead there were just random trails of stomped grass crisscrossing in every direction . This poor excuse of a city was nothing compared to his home in Saffron , where manicured lawns and glass high - rises reigned supreme . Ethan would deal with this situation quickly and get back home ; back to a place with proper people and actual order . There was a rustling of limbs , and a shadow appeared between the nearest trees . Scyther forced herself through the tight overgrowth , making an effort to keep her left arm hidden behind her back . Her eyes lit up as she saw her master , and shuffled over to stand next to Alakazam . Before she took a step however , Ethan quickly jumped forward and grabbed her left arm , twisting it roughly towards himself . The sword that made up his Pokemon 's lower arm had been burned severely , turning her dark green color a putrid black . Scyther looked back at him guiltily , trying to wrench her arm out of his grasp . " What happened ? " Ethan hissed . " Saisa , " she moaned as his grip tightened . " Stop , " Ethan ordered . " It serves you right . Slicing electrical cables is something a Beedrill would do , not you . Did I not express how important this was ? What were you thinking ? " " You 're not getting off that easy , " Ethan replied , clamping down on her arm so hard that his hand began to cramp . " Scyther ! " she yelled , tearing her arm from his gasp . Her sword came loose quickly , though not before it tore a pencil width gash across his wrist . She held her arm to her chest , trying her best to look apologetic ; which was something she rarely succeeded at , owing to the fact that she was never sorry about anything . " This is important , and there is no room for error , " Ethan informed the frightened bug . Wincing , he flexed his right arm and closed his eyes in an effort to center himself . After a moment , he opened them again to see the wound on his wrist healing , black smoke drifting out of the hole . Moments later , the cut was gone , leaving no trace that it had ever happened . " Saisai , " Scyther explained , pointing with her uninjured arm back through the trees . Fuming with more anger than he had before he got to town , Ethan followed his Scyther into the dense forest , trying his best not to make any noise . Alakazam followed behind , doing rapid multiplication in his head to occupy his mind . The trio quickly made their way across the town , keeping far enough into the forest that they couldn 't be seen . After a few minutes , Scyther halted , staring at a house about a hundred yards away . They were there , in all their thieving glory . A red mist came over Ethan and he started forward , his hands shaking with rage . Alakazam grabbed him right before he got out of reach , causing him to turn around . The psychic Pokemon pointed towards the group Ethan was walking towards , motioning at the numerous other people that were walking nearby . Ethan took a breath to calm himself . His Alakazam was right ; it was far too crowded to risk any sort of unprovoked attack . With slow and deliberate steps , Ethan pushed himself through the woods to peek around the last tree that separated the two groups . As he came to the edge of the trees , the shard in his pocket began to vibrate . Shaking his head , he returned back to the game he and Nuzleaf were playing . The game was an amalgamation of different situations they 've been put through over the years , and they were still in the process of perfecting the rules . Basically , they faced each other about fifteen yards away from each other and stood completely still . One of them expanded a pokeball , and threw it at the other as hard as they could . You could aim for any area on the person you wished , but if you flinched or dodged out of the way , you earned yourself a penalty . Their current penalty was that the other person could give them a punch to the gut , without any sort of padding or protection whatsoever . To them it was a fair game , because if you showed courage , you usually took a pokeball to the skull , and if you showed cowardice , you were rewarded with a punch to the stomach . The only real way to win was for the other person to miss every time while remaining completely still . " Nunuz ! " Nuzleaf answered , his eyes squeezed tightly shut . The ball missed him by several feet , causing him to blow Dorian a raspberry and take off after it . A laugh to his left caused him to look over . Machoke was giggling slightly at Dorian 's failed attempt , his voice much deeper than it had been as a Machop . On one hand , Dorian was glad Machoke had calmed down enough to relax , as there had been a pretty stressful situation when he was released a few minutes ago . Dorian had been talking to Shelton as he and Nuzleaf lined up to play their game when she had decided to release Machoke for the first time since returning him right after he had evolved . The fighting Pokemon had materialized in a shower of white energy , standing almost as tall as Dorian in his new form . The only problem was , he had taken shape completely nude . As soon as Machoke 's eyes took in his new form and the area he was in , he quickly started crying and covering his lower body in embarrassment . Shelton had tried to calm him down , only to have her Pokemon start stomping the ground in angst , creating cracks in the road with his newfound brawn . Machoke had only calmed down once Dorian pulled out a pair of his own boxer briefs from his bag and handed them to him . Now , Machoke was seated on the ground next to Shelton , Dorian 's boxers being stretched to their limit by his bulging muscles . Shelton was sitting next to him , her head leaning against her Pokemon 's shoulder . She hadn 't stopped touching Machoke since he had emerged from his ball , convinced that something else would befall him if he wandered too far away from her . " It 's not as easy as you might think . So how about you mind your own busi - , " Dorian started , only to be cut off by a fiery glaze sent at him by Shelton . Just as Dorian turned back towards Nuzleaf , he paused , his back pocket was vibrating . It was odd though , as he distinctly remembered putting his phone in his front pocket . Shaking his head , he reached into his back pocket and pulled it out ; but it wasn 't his phone he had retrieved , it was the shard . It was pulsing lightly , almost like a gentle heartbeat . Dorian didn 't understand why the marker was moving . It didn 't have anything inside it , at least to the best of his knowledge it didn 't . " Why are you looking at that thing like that ? " Shelton asked . " You little bastard ! " Dorian yelled , bending down and picking up the ball . " I wasn 't paying attention ! That 's a free shot from ten feet ! " In a rage , Dorian darted forward , the pokeball in his right hand , the pulsing shard in his left . As he closed to about ten feet away , Dorian drew back and hurled the ball at Nuzleaf , its red surface gleaming . Nuzleaf barely ducked in time as the ball streaked towards him , causing it to miss him by several inches . The ball continued on its course , slicing through the air like a knife . As it connected with the hedge that circled Ronnie 's house , there was a loud squeal , a flash of white light , and a tiny snap as it closed itself back up . " I know what to do , " Dorian replied , walking over to the hedge . It took him a moment to dig through the thick foliage , but his hands found the trembling pokeball . Standing back up , he rolled it in his hand , his mind a mix of anticipation and confusion . With a loud ding , the return button of the ball blinked red rapidly , signaling a successful capture . Taking a quick breath , Dorian pressed the return button , opening the ball and spilling out its contents . A shape began to materialize on the ground in front of them , bathing their half circle in a bright white glow . Starting at the ground , a thick black tail in the winding shape of a coil appeared , followed by a sizeable , similarly colored tube - like stomach . Two stubby arms became visible next , followed by two rosy circles of fur underneath inky black eyes . By far the most distinguishing characteristic of the now fully formed Pokemon was a large pink pearl clamped tightly between its tiny ears . " Spoink ? " the Pokemon repeated , looking at Dorian like he was some sort of extraterrestrial . Its eyes drifted over the rest of the group , narrowing slightly when it came to the hulking form of Machoke . Coming back to Dorian , the Spoink spied the open pokeball clutched in Dorian 's right hand . Its eyes widened to the extreme , and its mouth dropped open . " Wai - , " Dorian started , only to stop short as he was yanked off the ground and thrown backwards through the air . Dorian 's vision blurred as he flew backwards , the world passing by him too quickly to focus . Just before the force carrying him dropped its hold , he managed to turn his head around to see where he was going to land . Dorian began flailing his arms wildly in vain , yelling through clenched teeth as his body came down on the twitching mass of sliced electrical cables in front of his uncle 's house . Pain , unimaginable pain , coursed through his body in torrents as the electricity surged across his flesh . Almost as soon as that one agonizing second commenced , it was over , and he pushed himself up off the ground . Shivering and covered with goose bumps , Dorian struggled to understand why the temperature had changed so dramatically . Remembering what he had fallen into , Dorian quickly leaped to the left , putting him out of the way of the cables . As he looked down to where he had just jumped from , he gasped . His body was still lying on the ground , twitching and contorting in agony as electricity billowed across it . He almost fainted on the spot as he looked at his body on the ground , his mind being torn in half by the paradox that was taking shape in front of him . He was standing to the side , he wasn 't still on the cables ; he had jumped , hadn 't he ? As he watched his body on the ground , he noticed two things . First , that his body on the ground was spasming far too slowly ; and looking up he could see Nuzleaf in the distance running towards his body on the ground , but he was moving slow as well , like he was stuck in slow motion . The second thing he noticed was that the blue electricity surging across his frame on the ground was all moving to one point , to the shard still clutched in his left hand . Dorian raised his left hand in his standing body and saw that the same shard was in that hand as well , the only difference being that it was glowing . How was it in both hands ? Despite the fact that he was having an out of body experience , that question kept forcing its way into his mind . How were they in both hands ? Just as he asked himself the question again , the black shard started pulsing . Harder and harder it pulsed , vibrating so hard that Dorian could barely hang on to it . He couldn 't understand the situation unfolding in front of him ; it was so far beyond the realm of his comprehension that all he could do was stare blankly at the softly glowing object . Well , almost all he could do . He figured out he could still scream ; which is exactly what he did when the shard wrapped itself around his left hand and yanked him into the sky . Posts 1 , 116 Woo ! " Filler chapter ! " Dorian and Shelton 's Pokemon were all out of their respective balls , clapping softly as Trapinch approached . Well , almost all of them . Considering the narrator is not a " character " ( at least has not been portrayed as such ) , it seems odd for the narrator to say something like " Well , almost all of them " . It sounds a bit too colloquial for an unquestioned narration . Do you know what I mean ? There 's nothing wrong with giving your narrator some flavor and personality , but it hasn 't had one to this point , so this threw me . " I was hoping that a win might finally make you evolve , " Dorian said . " It 's alright though . I know you 're as eager to get rid of those pains as I am . Maybe it 'll happen next time Trapinch began to growl loudly , tapping into the growing process that his kind was sometimes afforded . His skin suddenly transformed into sickly hues of yellow and green . His eyes began to bulge and turn a lustrous olive as his backbone began to stretch and wiggle trough the back of his thick hide . Crimson blood streamed down his sides as a pair of regal looking , rhombus shaped wings burst out from underneath his skin . Growling louder now , the bones in his face began to change shape , becoming thinner , narrower , becoming almost brittle in their lightness . As a pair of antenna burst out of Trapinch 's forehead , his new tail split in two , mirroring the shape and color of its new wings . Yeah , see . . . that was good . Very powerful visuals . I just would liked to have seen hints of the changes earlier . But still . . . very nice ! " Look kid , I 'm not in the mood to battle you , " Dorian said , his mood bypassing annoyance and going straight to exasperation . " I don 't care if we locked eyes , I don 't have to adhere to your need to prove yourself . How old are you anyway ? Twelve ? " " I 'm fourteen ! " the kid yelled . " It 's in the rules ! If you look at me , and I look back at you , we have to battle . I 'll call the Pokemon Battle Association if you don 't ! " " What makes you think I care ? Do you think that 's going to change my mind ? Kid , before you threaten someone , you need to make sure you have something to take away from them . " " Are you off your medication ? I have at least twelve years experience on you , " Dorian said , bringing his head down to the teen 's level . " Where are your parents ? I 'm feeling the sudden urge to tell them what an annoying little bastard you are . " You like to make fun of the game tropes . That was at least two right there . It 's fun to ridicule the sillier aspects of the games , but be careful not to overdo it . It 's hard to juxtapose the realism of Trapinch 's bloody , pain evolution against the silliness of those things . I know that you are ridiculing the silliness of them , but it 's still feeling a TAD BIT forced to do so . But don 't worry , it 's amusing to read either way . - What an odd note to end the chapter on . It makes me feel there is more to this kid and his Beedrill than meets the eye . I 'm curious as to how this battle wraps up and what it 's leading to , so I might sneak a peak at chapter 5 before heading off . As far as filler chapters go , this wasn 't bad . I like filler because it develops character . We didn 't really get MUCH of that here , but the writing was still very enjoyable . Posts 3 , 228 All caught up ! But I 'm on my iPod right now so I can 't give an in depth review . As I told you already , I loved chapter 8 . It has to be my favorite so far . I had thought you killed Golduck . I was going to cry , but I 'm happy to see that he is alive . The Graveler incident wrapped up very nicely . I expect both Dorian and Shelton to grow from it . I love how you portrayed Shelton when she saw the workman . Seems like you have women pinned down . ; P Ethan becoming more and more frustrated was a nice touch . It seems he 's ready to pull his hair out . Keep up the good work . Until next time . Well , I think it would have protected him but it wasn 't activated at the time . The device needs to be switched on to be able to block attacks . So if he 's not in a battle or dangerous situation , I think he leaves it off to save power . Lol now that I think about it , it is pretty similar . However , no , its my own invention . I use that catch phrase irl , and it annoys my fiance to no end . Considering the narrator is not a " character " ( at least has not been portrayed as such ) , it seems odd for the narrator to say something like " Well , almost all of them " . It sounds a bit too colloquial for an unquestioned narration . Do you know what I mean ? There 's nothing wrong with giving your narrator some flavor and personality , but it hasn 't had one to this point , so this threw me . I see what you mean . You 're actually the second person to suggest that very thing . I flirted with the idea before , but with Trapinch I decided that the way I went was my favorite . Who knows , you may see some of what you suggested if any more of their pokemon evolve . You like to make fun of the game tropes . That was at least two right there . It 's fun to ridicule the sillier aspects of the games , but be careful not to overdo it . It 's hard to juxtapose the realism of Trapinch 's bloody , pain evolution against the silliness of those things . I know that you are ridiculing the silliness of them , but it 's still feeling a TAD BIT forced to do so . But don 't worry , it 's amusing to read either way . On one hand , I was making fun of the games , but the main reason the kid said those things because his character is really bent on following rules at all costs and sticking to exactly what his manual says . That 'll become apparent in later chapters as he slowly works himself back into the story . I 'll keep what you said in mind . I see what you mean . You 're actually the second person to suggest that very thing . I flirted with the idea before , but with Trapinch I decided that the way I went was my favorite . Who knows , you may see some of what you suggested if any more of their pokemon evolve . Working on a review and saw this . I have a problem with that form of evolution . It makes snese to me for a Pokemon to be preparing , like a bear for hibernation , and then let the actual change happen more instantaniously , but if you go the drawn out route , what do you do with Pokemon liek Remoraid ? Halfway through evolution , . uyou have this finless red rock thing with dumpy little limbs not quite long enough to move its proportionally oversize head , and the flins it had as a Remoraid have mostly retreated into its Octillery body . You have this fish that can 't feed itself . . . On the subject of the evolution method , I think it 's a good idea and waaay more realistic than in the games and anime , but I see Glover 's point about certain Pokémon that would struggle with this method . But what if certain Pokémon , such as Remoraid , had developed faster evolution so that they wouldn 't have to go as long without food ? That 's just an idea on my part , feel free to say it 's terrible . " Shut it . Just because you had one good idea does not mean that I have a higher opinion of you . Besides , you still owe me for rent , " Shelton snarled . I think you portray the relationship between Dorian and Shelton really well . You have a good balance between Shelton 's scathing nudges but not making it seem too forced . He felt Alakazam flinch behind him as the words crossed his mind ; having no doubt that the psychic type had heard . Unfazed , Ethan used his heels to spurn Rapidash faster , his body starting to almost vibrate with eagerness . The forest they were traveling through morphed into a ring of brown and black as they sped up , Ethan 's eyes unable to focus due to the wind howling into them . He knew that Rapidash was already pushed to the edge of her abilities , but he dug his heels into her harder ; fire in his eyes and murder in his heart . Another thing I like is the way you 're portraying Ethan . He 's slowly getting more and more violent in his pursuit of Dorian and Shelton , and the fact that Alakazam doesn 't wholly agree with him is a nice touch on the lines of making sure all the Pokémon have personalitites . It also means he 's a tiny bit more unpredictable . I know I ought to point out the negative points of this fic as well as going " You portrayed this well , you wrote that well " , but tbh I can 't see anything that you desparately need to work on . Future reviews probably won 't be quite as in - depth ( by my standards anyway ) , but they will definitely come . Looking forward to the next chapter . Originally Posted by Missingno . Master And my authorish side must tell you that logic doesn 't trump diddly in this story . Klang can fart . Plain and simple . Working on a review and saw this . I have a problem with that form of evolution . It makes snese to me for a Pokemon to be preparing , like a bear for hibernation , and then let the actual change happen more instantaniously , but if you go the drawn out route , what do you do with Pokemon liek Remoraid ? Halfway through evolution , . uyou have this finless red rock thing with dumpy little limbs not quite long enough to move its proportionally oversize head , and the flins it had as a Remoraid have mostly retreated into its Octillery body . You have this fish that can 't feed itself . . . I see your point as well . I like my idea of spontaneous violent evolution the best , but subtle changes beforehand , like change of eye color , skin color , beginnings of a tail , etc , are something that I may or may not decide to do . As long as the small changes don 't affect the Pokemon to the point where they can 't function normally , I don 't see a problem with it . Lol , I 'll probably end up sticking to my version Thanks ! Their relationship is one area I think is really integral to the story , so its been something I 've been trying really hard on . Thanks for noticing . I 'm sure she was , which is why the first thing she did after she was able to rest was start eating . . . . WHAT ? Argh , massive cliffhanger ! ;_ ; I hope Dorian doesn 't die . I like Dorian . I like their interactions here a lot . You do a good job at showing how they get along yet how they like to playfully fight with each other . ( Also , this is like my dream situation . I like being lazy . ) Well , this explains a lot . Yay for Dorian and Shelton backstory ! Now that I think about it , anyway , I prefer them to have sibling - like relationship rather than a romantic one . I wouldn 't really use the word " obviously " in third person . It can make the readers feel dumb especially if they don 't realize what you 're actually trying to say . Also expecting your readers to know things is silly . If you said , however : " it was obvious to Ethan that Alakazam was trying to keep them both level … " or something , that 'd be fine , since it 's attributed to your character , not the readers . Hope that makes sense . Ignorance does not excuse a crime , and this was an offense that would not be forgiven . Amusing . Oh , Shelton , you 're such a flirt . She was swooning over this man with no regard to what she looked like ; which to Dorian was akin to her asking for a three course dinner at a hardware store . Even more amusing . I 'd totally like to see this scene . And it 's just like Dorian to be like … what the hell are you doing ? LOL . A course a guy would say no . Also , I like the hint of Dorian not liking people from other regions . I 've seen a lot of rivalry between regions being implemented in fics , and I 've always found it pretty interesting . It 's kind of like the pokémon version of racism … since no one ever seems to have actual race prominent in their fics . Nuzleaf randomly showing up LOL . If even the pokémon know you 're kinda going around too much , then that sounds like a pretty big deal . " Yeah , " Dorian replied . " He 's coming . " Lol , at first I think Ronnie , but you cut this section off at the perfect point to where the readers realizes - well , * * * * , Ethan 's coming too . Confident that his Scyther would arrive momentarily , Ethan turned back to examine the city . A red shingled Pokemon Center sat up the right , while farther back and to the left resided an almost depressed looking market ; its blue roof cracked and weathered with age . Houses were strewn across the city like random fallen raindrops , with no order or discernible pattern to their placement . Slabs of rock decorated the ground every few hundred feet , some no bigger than basketballs , while others were as large as cars ; a testament to the city 's rocky beginning . This is a very interesting and descriptive take on Pewter City . Yeah , it 's supposed to be a really ancient city and kind of old , but the games / anime never really show that . I like this a lot . " You 're not getting off that easy , " Ethan replied , clamping down on her arm so hard that his hand began to cramp . As evil as it sounds , I really like this part . It shows just how serious Ethan is about this situation . He 's willing to go pretty damn far for it , even if it means that his pokémon get hurt . The only problem was , he had taken shape completely nude . As soon as Machoke 's eyes took in his new form and the area he was in , he quickly started crying and covering his lower body in embarrassment . Poor Machoke . This is a pretty interesting take on the pokémon . Usually they 're all supposed to have heavyweight belts or something , but it just doesn 't make sense for them to materialize out of nowhere . I like this realistic take on Machoke . It also gave great insight to his character . : P Poor guy . I also liked the ending a lot . Looks like Dorian 's going through something similar that Ethan does because of the stone . Out - of - body experiences can certainly be interesting . Overall , your description was really good in this chapter , as usual . I could see everything very clearly . There was also a lot more interactive dialogue in this chapter , I think … And I think you 're getting a lot better at it . You really know how to portray a character 's personality and such through their words alone , which is a good skill to have . Anyway , I look forward to seeing more . | | survival project | | phantom project | | Posts 526 Sorry for the delay , but its here now . I tried to find any remaining grammatical errors , but I 'm still not that good in that area , so please correct me if any of my statements prove to be false . Well , let 's get started . Requiem , an interesting choice for a story title . It means a church service for someone who has died , or a piece of music for that service , a slightly morbid piece of foreshadowing in my opinion . Still , catchy title . Originally Posted by Sidewinder Supposed to be inseparable . A very well written start to this story . You explain the boy 's childhood and give us many details of his situation including the fact that he has an Abra with similar issues . The scene with the chamber is a little rushed in my opinion , going from the boy losing sight of the tour group to being attacked by a wild Pokemon to getting dragged through a wall to the alter and the crystal , but this is the prologue so I guess its all right if its short . A great chapter , you described the Growlithe battle with much detail as well as introducing Dorian and Nuzleaf . Shelton is well on her way to becoming my favorite character , her no - nonsense attitude and treatment of Dorian who is a polar opposite of her make for quite the funny scene . I 'd like to mention the passage at the end of the chapter . This man is a strange character , he doesn 't show the signs of an outright antagonist - in fact the prologue makes him seem more like a protagonist with his new powers and the voices . You set up his story so that his quest will eventually intersect with Dorian and Shelton now that Dorian has that artifact . Originally Posted by Sidewinder Nothing wrong with this passage , I just found it funny . It 's a sign of a good author when they can input humor into a story and not detract from the main plot . Originally Posted by Sidewinder " Well , from the limited amount of information we 've gathered on the marker 's , they 're supposedly forged from metal ; but out of a rare ore we think is obsidian . Though we don 't know for sure because there is so little discovered throughout the world today , only a few grams or so . We know that from their description , its jet black , weighing much less than other metal ore 's they would have had access to back then . From what the Director is thinking , he attributed it more to a hollow , glossy diamond , instead of metal . " Again , a well written chapter . A few grammatical errors , but the number of them is decreasing as more chapters pass . Which is always a good sign of improvement . We see the financial situation that Dorian and Shelton are in , which , provides a good incentive for them to deliver the artifact to Dorian 's uncle ( I know that doesn 't happen until chapter three , but I 'm pointing it out now ) . And the man 's quest for the shards , and absorbing them , nice description with that . Originally Posted by Sidewinder The man didn 't know where they were going next , but he knew that the next time he slept , he would be told . He was always told where to go and how to better himself and his Pokemon . The voices would whisper to him in his dreams , guiding him towards additional power , guiding him to more knowledge , and eventually , guiding him to his destiny . And now we are introduced to a new character of sorts , the voices . While we don 't know whether the man is the villain of this story yet , we know that it is these voices that guide him on his quest for some unknown reason . You 're introducing his character slowly , so that the readers only see a small bit of his personality at a time . A nice touch , his " destiny " adds another bit of mystery to the plot . Originally Posted by Sidewinder " No . That catch phrase is never going to catch on . Besides that , its barely a catch phrase . Its just random words that have nothing to do with our current situation . " I 'm not sure on this one , but it sounds better if it said " quickly " not " quick " . The few errors aside , a good chapter . This is where the real adventure begins . I find it a little strange that Dorian just found that rare artifact covered by a thin layer of dirt , while the others were in hidden , underground chambers that had to be forced open with a Pokemon attack . I realize that it 's for the plot , but I 'm not sure why this certain artifact was so easy to find . Just a little oddity I was wondering about . As of this chapter , Dorian and Shelton , and even Ethan 's characters seem to be developing steadily , with details of back - story and personality being revealed gradually as to not overwhelm readers . You have an excellent balance of plot development , character development , details , and humor . You also make the Pokemon very memorable and make their individual personalities shine . Yet another reason why I enjoy this story . When you are doing quick back - and - forth dialogue , you don 't need the names and verbs ( " Dorian exclaimed " , etc . Just let it flow , untagged line after untagged line . It will feel a LOT more natural , and will read just as it is supposed to . As long as each character has a distinctive voice , the readers should be able to keep up with the flow for several lines at a time . The cliff face to the left began to shift . Slowly at first , almost accidentally , as if it was struggling to decide whether it wanted to keep its shape . White eyes opened along the expanse of the cliff , blinking slowly . Upon closer inspection , legs and arms became visible . The roughly hewn limbs made out of the same rock they were latched onto . The shapes communicated by moving themselves against the rocks , listening to the craggy vibrations that were made when they did so I LOVE the part about the Geodude / Graveler / Whatever communicating through vibration . That 's incredibly realistic and creative . I 'm not enamored with the " Upon closer inspection , legs and arms became visible " line because that sounds almost like script direction than actual prose . Do you get what I mean ? - The ending was fantastic , and I loved the bit with Golduck and Machop and their relationship with Golduck trying to reassure , and later protect him . This is a nice , interesting plot twist to interrupt the main storyline . No Ethan , just the new threat of angry Gravelers . And the two biggest threats to them were neutralized first ? Angry SMART Gravelers . The semi - colon needs to be a comma . Semi - colons indicate that a sentence can be split into two separate ones without being fragments . Commas separate the fragments that wouldn 't pass as regular sentences . If you don 't want to replace the semi - colon , you might want to replace " having " with " he had " . I know that the worker is supposed to have a bit of an accented drawl , and I love the fact that you gave him a noticeable accent and personality ; it makes him all the more memorable . However , the two bolded words were misspelled . " Folks " shouldn 't have an apostrophe ; it 's a single word that would denote Dorian and Shelton . And the apostrophe in " y ' all " is supposed to be between the " y " and the " a " , since it 's a shortened version of " you all " . Ethan hated all of it ; it was so , unorganized . There weren 't even clear paths for people to walk on , instead there were just random trails of stomped grass crisscrossing in every direction . This poor excuse of a city was nothing compared to his home in Saffron , where manicured lawns and glass high - rises reigned supreme . Ethan would deal with this situation quickly and get back home ; back to a place with proper people and actual order . Shaking his head , he reached into his back pocket and pulled it out ; but it wasn 't his phone he had retrieved , it was the shard . It was pulsing lightly , almost like a gentle heartbeat . Dorian didn 't understand why the marker was moving . It didn 't have anything inside it , at least to the best of his knowledge it didn 't . I actually felt sorry for Scyther , and I don 't blame her at all for lashing out at her trainer . Hell , I don 't think she should 've apologized for that ; what Ethan did to her was completely unnecessary and cruel , especially when she showed that she did feel bad about cutting the cable wires . I also felt sorry for Rapidash ; he pushed her way beyond her limits and then wouldn 't let her rest or eat . I truly think that Ethan , in his madness , is going to end up killing one of his own Pokemon . I just wonder if it would be an accident or on purpose . I also wonder which one would end up paying the ultimate price . The characterization of Dorian and Shelton was nice to see . It 's really amusing to see their interactions with each other . The part where Shelton fell head over heels for a mere electrician and Dorian 's reaction was especially hilarious . " [ C ] hucked " . Unless they spewed them at him . Which . . . ew . The Graveler threw the rocks they were holding , each handful tripling in size as they raced towards their target . I was curious about this . Is it a Graveler power , to increase the size of the rocks ? Or was it just describing the change in Nuzleaf 's percerption of them as they got closer to him ? You 're going to get REAL TIRED , REAL FAST of me talking about the Pokeflect , but to me , it 's such a fascinating concept . Would the Pokeflect work if given TO a pokemon ? If not , why not just give them some ? I can imagine that in battle they 'd be barred , but for just journeying around ? Hell , I 'd give my Pokemon at least one ! It would make them indestructible to random acts like this . It was just then that Shuppet wailed , the noise resonating in his eardrums like a nearby foghorn . Wow , obscure reference for the win . When I first read that , I thought " What , like the cartoon rooster ? " I can just see Shuppet saying " Why , I say , son , I say . . . ! " As Dorian rolled to a stop , he shouted , " Growlithe , use flamethrower ! Shuppet , shadow ball ! " The attacks merged together as they hit their target , Growlithe 's flames turning a sickly shade of black and grey . Also , very creative . Combining attacks to make a multi - purpose kind of blast . Very well - done creatively . I can imagine only about a thousand uses for such a concept . Judging from their shattered flesh they had died from the demolition charges that the road crew had planted . I 'm telling you , this entire story could be about the Pokeflect , and I 'd be happy . What a wonderful toy . - I have to say , I 'm obviously not happy that Golduck had to die , but it almost had to happen . Golduck had , to this point and ESPECIALLY in this chapter , proven to be way too powerful . Not that he shouldn 't have been , but it had me thinking " What can really stand up to this thing ? " So it makes sense he had to sacrifice himself . I 'm guessing some of the humor is going to fade out now , at least on some scale . Dorian probably won 't be so headstrong and fun - loving now that he 's seen someone so close to him perish . Which is kind of a shame , but I 'll see where you go from here . Serebii FanFiction 2014 Awards Posts 979 Hi ! I 'm new to this fic and as such have only read through chapter one , but I 'm totally hooked . The Pokeflect is a nice touch , sounding like a very real invention that totally would be needed as technology increases . I like the world you 've created , and I 'm intrigued as to how the Granite Cave boy will connect with Dorian . I also really enjoy his Trapinch 's gradual shift to evolution . It 's a neat touch . ^ This is my new fanfic . It 's a work in progress , so please read and comment at your discretion . I hope you like it . I think you will . Oof . This made me wince . Good description . " He 's dead Shelton , " Dorian said . " I saw , s - saw the energy discharge from his head right before the rock Pokemon hit him . He couldn 't have survived it . I mean , I saw it swallow his body . " Okay , I was curious as to why Golduck just . . . exploded earlier . Not saying that it wasn 't well - written to end chapter six , but I thought the Gravelers had exploded IT . This way makes more sense ; I had just misunderstood , I guess . Shelton backed up several paces , her hands hooking into claws . Golduck couldn 't be dead ! He wouldn 't leave her , not like this , not ever . She drug her hands across her scalp , trying in vain to tear the thought away . She looked around , studying the scene before her . Tears came faster when she saw Machop 's body , pitching her into even more despair . His frail frame was broken , his legs bent into odd angles . She rushed forward , only to stop in place . Golduck and Machop , both of them were hurt . Shelton knew Golduck wasn 't dead ; it wasn 't even something she could comprehend . She was stuck in place , unable to decide what to do . She wanted to climb out of the crater and find Golduck , but at the same time she couldn 't just leave Machop . Indecision rooted her , turned her into molasses . Time slowed , her thoughts became even more muddled . Machop or Golduck , Machop or Golduck ? This shocked me out of the story because , to my knowledge , the narration had not previously been attached to Shelton . Yet , all of the sudden , here it was , and the reader was inside her head instead of Dorian 's . I might have missed the narration being inside everyone 's head earlier , but I thought it was exclusive to Dorian ( except with Ethan and Alakazam were " on - screen " ) . Dorian knew she was capable of a complete mental breakdown and that she was well on her way . Oh ? What is this tasty morsel ? Foreshadowing AND character development ? Me likey . The duck Pokemon was firmly embedded in the rock wall in front of Dorian . His tongue hung limp out of his open bill , saliva dripping down to pool on the ground below . Golduck 's lifeless pupils were dilated to the extreme , speaking volumes of the inactivity behind them . As Dorian kept looking up , he saw that the small jewel in Golduck 's forehead had shattered , leaving a gaping hole . Lavender psychic energy drifted lazily out of the gap in his skull , forming a bubble above Golduck 's head . Regardless of Dorian 's intentions , the red beam continued forward , striking the sapphire avian in the sternum . Golduck 's body morphed into solid energy and returned to his Pokeball . Dorian stared at the red and ivory ball in his hand , a few tears rolling sideways off of its glossy surface . Or maybe not . - I 'm not sure what I think about Golduck possibly being alive . In chapter 6 I thought Golduck was overpowered and that was before I realize he caused that explosion . . . and was able to survive it . I 'm not sure at this point what could possibly threaten these two characters with this Golduck on their team ( except , possibly an even more powerful psychic type , and GEE WHERE MIGHT THEY ENCOUNTER ONE OF THOSE ? ) - I like the notion of Machop 's body basically forcing an evolution as a means of survival . It makes even more sense why you 've chosen to display evolution the way you had previously now . Very foresightful of you . It was quite a unique desperation tactic by Machop 's body , though . I wonder just how common this may or may not be . Hm . - You know what ? I haven 't missed Ethan at all . I have adored the chapters recently without him . I don 't mean to say that he wasn 't interesting , but it was a joy to read all the Graveler stuff without interruption .
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I 'm very tired as I do this at the moment , and I gotta say , the sudden action woke me up already . Cool way to get back into the action that was present before Ethan 's chapter , especially now that there 's an interesting comparison ( before , they were fighting enemies , and now , they 're fighting each other ) . The two had been sparing for the better part of an hour , both being pushed to the edge of their physical limits as they struggled to best one another . I 'd also put a comma instead of a semi - colon . From what I 've learned , the sentence before and after the semi - colon should be able to be a standalone sentence . But the sentence after the semi - colon here can 't be by itself and still make sense . Nuzleaf climbed onto her lap and looked up at her with his wide eyes , cupping her face softly in his hands as he looked at her . She smiled down at him , touched by the Pokemon 's gesture of affection . Reaching down , she scratched a spot at the small of Nuzleaf 's back , dragging her sharp nails across his wooden body . The sound the nails made as they moved always gave her goose bumps , but Nuzleaf loved it and immediately hugged her close , burying his face in her hair . D ' awwwww , have I ever mentioned how much I love the pokémon Nuzleaf ? This is an adorable image . I 'm going to go be a typical squeeing fangirl now . The once bright sapphire duck 's feathers were now a muted shade of blue , signaling the stress that it had exposed to . Anyway , I agree with Glover when he says that this was a nice conclusion to the Graveler incident . The part I liked the most was going back and forth between Shelton 's grieving over Golduck and the spar between Dorian and Nuzleaf . To me , it was as if the Graveler fight was still happening , in a sense . The fighting spirit and suspense was still entirely present , and you portrayed the idea that all of them were still fighting ( both literally and figuratively ) to live and / or move on with their lives even though there was no real danger present anymore . It makes me reflect on the idea that everyone is always fighting every moment of every day , pretty much . I hope that makes sense . It 's not something I can easily put into words , but it was a good feeling nonetheless . Also , I thought that Dorian and Shelton were a couple ? Am I wrong ? Shelton kissing the technician on the cheek and mentioning falling in love with him seemed odd to me for this reason , and also because she was just unbelievably angry and bitter moments before she did such a thing . I guess it 's understandable that her emotions would be going crazy at the moment , and it was cute nonetheless , but still , it left me wondering about Dorian . Overall , the chapter felt complete and full of emotions , just as the conclusion of such a horrific event should feel . The only thing I might have added was Shelton reflecting on Golduck 's possible feelings of losing his psychic power . Does he value it ? Does Shelton think it won 't effect him ? I mention this because Golduck 's personality wasn 't revealed enough for us readers to know yet ( though I may have just forgotten , in which case , feel free to ignore me ) , but I expect that you 'll be showing the aftereffects soon enough , and you 'll have us as readers wishing we had known him more before the incident as well ( which isn 't a bad thing - I would find that kind of interesting , actually ) . Keep up the good work ~ Anyway , my ramblings aside , this a was a wonderful closure piece to the graveler scene , Although I find it a bit odd that Mr . Thompson didn 't arrange an automated pressure release . The way the spike sounds , it 's like something that must be manually drained . My dad was ona Colostomy bag , such things as manual body drains are not fun . Surely there 's a way to rig a one - way valve , or maybe that 's just not in Viridian 's reprritoire . That 's correct . I see what you 're saying , but for some reason this sounded a little bit better for me . The idea came from the movie ' Three Kings ' . Mark Wahlberg 's character gets shot in the lung at one point , and when his friends have to install this release valve for building air pressure in the lung . Occasionly he has to turn the valve to release the stored pressure , aloowing him to breathe . Ah well thanks ! The bit with the ICU and Golduck 's explanation was actually something I tried really hard on , so I 'm glad you noticed . And yeah , the whole Nurse Joy wonderful attitude happy go lucky thing never really went over well with me . I felt like this was much more realistic , glad you think so too That was something that I wasn 't really sure about . I hoped it would go over well , so I 'm glad you commented on it . I felt like it would be a good way to transition from what was happening right then , while also giving a backstory on the events that happened after the Graveler attack . One thing , you use the phrase " knocking him sprawling " once . I can ; t find anything wrong with it , it 's just a little bit odd to me . Maybe I 'm just used to hearing " Sending him sprawling " which is the exact same thing , just sounds different . I don 't know . Maybe it 's another regional thing . I see what you 're saying . I went back and looked , and I feel like they both work . I 'm going to keep it the way it is , but thanks for bringing it to my attention . Anyway , I agree with Glover when he says that this was a nice conclusion to the Graveler incident . The part I liked the most was going back and forth between Shelton 's grieving over Golduck and the spar between Dorian and Nuzleaf . To me , it was as if the Graveler fight was still happening , in a sense . The fighting spirit and suspense was still entirely present , and you portrayed the idea that all of them were still fighting ( both literally and figuratively ) to live and / or move on with their lives even though there was no real danger present anymore . It makes me reflect on the idea that everyone is always fighting every moment of every day , pretty much . I hope that makes sense . It 's not something I can easily put into words , but it was a good feeling nonetheless . Once again , that was exactly what I was shooting for . I 've always found the relation between emotional / physical trauma and future actions . Back in my wasteful youth days , I got into a fist fight with a few guys and got beat up . It was so loud , and intense , and I had never been in a fight before so it somewhat affected for a few days after that . I 'd hear a loud noise and tense up , like I was expecting it to happen all over again . So I kinda of drew heavily on that for this chapter , if that makes sense . None of them are going to be okay for awhile I think , but you 're right , we fight battles everyday , luckily though its not against hordes of furios rock Pokemon . I won 't deny that if I read this story and wasn 't the writer , I would say they have some obvious chemistry , but no , they 're not together . I mentioned in a few chapters that they 're just roomates , and they have been for a very long time . I 'm actually touching on their back stories some more in the next chapter , and it should firm up their motives and feelings for each other a little more clearly . The only thing I might have added was Shelton reflecting on Golduck 's possible feelings of losing his psychic power . Does he value it ? Does Shelton think it won 't effect him ? That 's going to be gone into before , and after Golduck is healed up and released . I think she was just so relieved that she was close to him again and that he was okay , that she kinda bypassed thinking about the long term ramifications of the loss of that ability . That 's going to be expanded on greatly eventually . It 's going to be alot for him to deal with , and for her as well . Thanks for reviewing once again ! The premise is very interesting ; a young couple delivering a priceless artifact for much needed money and an unbalanced man who will make every effort to stop them . However , I find all of their motives to be compelling , even the antagonist - at least , the person who you 're setting up to be the antagonist . Dorian and Shelton are two young people trying to pay off their bills and care for their Pokemon . Dorian obviously has a dream to be a strong trainer , while Shelton 's motives are a little more unclear ( although I would think that getting married would be one of them ) . Meanwhile , Ethan grew up alone and friendless aside from his Abra / Alakazam . He 's desperate for the voices to stay in his head because they 've been friendly to him . I actually pity him ; he doesn 't know that they might turn on him in an instant . It took three chapters to build up steam , but when the action started . . . I have to admit that I was very impressed . The stress of Dorian and Shelton in the immediate aftermath of the Graveler attack is strikingly realistic , and their emotions plucked at my heartstrings . I could feel their shock , pain , anger , and sadness as if it were my own . I honestly don 't think that you could have done any better than you did . My favorite character right now has to be Alakazam . He 's shown the most personality so far out of all of the Pokemon , and while I like all of the human characters , I feel a certain connection to Alakazam . He 's definitely a wildcard in all of this . When it comes down to it , will he stay loyal to the trainer and friend he 's known since he was an Abra or will he go with his morals and try to save the innocent couple ? What a fascinating dilemma . . . Anyway , the plot looks rather sound as well . Like I said , it started out slow at first , but once Dorian and Shelton set out to Pewter , it picked up its pace . It hasn 't slowed down yet , and it has kept my interest at a high level , which is always a good thing when it comes to the average fickle reader . Before I say anything else , I want to correct the bolded parts . The bolded comma is unnecessary and needs to be taken out , and an " s " needs to be added to the end of the word " move " . The apostrophe you used in the second sentence is a typo ; you want quotation marks at the end . However , that 's not what concerned me . Why capitalize " Reflect " and " Light Screen " if you 're not going to capitalize any other Pokemon move ? An element of consistency is needed . You might want to put " Reflect " and " Light Screen " in lower - case , since every other Pokemon move is in lower - case . Commas should be in between each of the two bolded words . Commas should be used whenever there 's a pause in a sentence . The full - stop ( period ) should be a comma , as was said by other readers before me . Like they said , a comma should be used in a spoken sentence , while full - stops can be used if the person is using an action ( for example , Dorian winking at the Growlithe in a previous sentence ) . Going back and correcting that error would be nice . You mispelled Shelton 's name . Just a minor typo that I thought I 'd point out . " That 's great Dorian , I 'm glad that when we get tossed to the street we 'll have a nice warm Growlithe to live in . " she said , rolling her eyes and turning to Nuzleaf . " You hungry sweetheart ? " The period should be replaced with a comma , but that 's not what I wanted to mention . Whenever a character is speaking to someone and addressing them directly , you need to use a comma before or after their name or the title they 're being addressed as , depending on where the word is placed . Basically , since Shelton is addressing Dorian , you need to put a comma between the word " great " and his name . Same with Nuzleaf . Since she 's addressing him as " sweetheart " , you need to place a comma between the two bolded words . The whispers had led him to a cave in the recent months , in the sand swept plains of the desert in Hoenn . The cave bearing another flake he took into himself . The cave he found near Route 111 however had something extra . A shard of stone from the enormous tablet he had seen in Granite Cave years ago . People the man walked past throughout the day forgot him as soon as he passed . A somewhat average looking man with long , wavy tan hair , an Alakazam keeping stride to his right . " The whispers had recently led him to a cave in the sand swept plains of the desert in Hoenn . It had contained another flake , which he had took into himself . However , the cave he found near Route 111 had something else : a shard of stone from the enormous tablet he had seen in Granite Cave years ago . The people that the man walked past throughout the day forgot him as soon as he passed . Even with the Alakazam keeping stride to his right , he was an average - looking man with long , wavy tan hair being the only other physical attribute of note . " I don 't have a problem with your characters so far , but the personalities of the Pokemon could use a bit more description . Show them as themselves . You 've done that with Nuzleaf and Alakazam . Why not show the rest ? Just a thought . You 're the second person to think that Dorian and Shelton are a couple . I tried my best to describe how close they were , and if some people think they 're together , I guess I did just that . But no , they are not a couple . Alot more of their backstory will be revealed in the next chapter . Which should help to put that theory to rest . They 've known each other for a VERY long time , and the closeness of their relationship is just a result of the sibling like love they have for each other . It took three chapters to build up steam , but when the action started . . . I have to admit that I was very impressed . The stress of Dorian and Shelton in the immediate aftermath of the Graveler attack is strikingly realistic , and their emotions plucked at my heartstrings . I could feel their shock , pain , anger , and sadness as if it were my own . I honestly don 't think that you could have done any better than you did . I 'm glad you noticed . It was one part that I tried really hard on . I 'm glad its gone over so well with so many people . Thanks ! ^^ My favorite character right now has to be Alakazam . He 's shown the most personality so far out of all of the Pokemon , and while I like all of the human characters , I feel a certain connection to Alakazam . He 's definitely a wildcard in all of this . When it comes down to it , will he stay loyal to the trainer and friend he 's known since he was an Abra or will he go with his morals and try to save the innocent couple ? What a fascinating dilemma . . . I don 't have a problem with your characters so far , but the personalities of the Pokemon could use a bit more description . Show them as themselves . You 've done that with Nuzleaf and Alakazam . Why not show the rest ? Just a thought . You 're completely right . Right before I saw your review , I told myself the exact same thing . They are all an integral part of the story , and I 'm not doing right by them if I dont expand on them more . In the coming chapters , you 'll see alot more of their personalities . Shall I add you to the PM list then ? And thanks very much for the review . I really appreciate it as you pointed out some things that I know could use some polishing . To everyone else reading / reviewing , the new chapter should be out by Monday night . - I 'm wondering why the boy didn 't feel connected to his adoptive parents . I get that they aren 't his real birth parents , but I wonder why he seems so . . . mad about them . They certainly seem nice . Is the boy going through a rebellious time ? I 'm stuck with this question , and I hope it gets delved into . SLAM ! I 'm not a particularly big fan of sound - effects in prose , but to each their own . I get that it 's a preference thing . the soft skin on his arms tearing easily on the ground as he rolled to a stop . OW . Good image , though . It actually makes me wince when I read it . Excellent work , that . Abra limped towards his master , favoring his left leg . The psychic pokemon 's right leg bore a long gash up the side of its thigh , Usually when someone is " favoring " a leg , that means they are protecting it because it 's the weaker or injured one . So does Abra have two major leg injuries ? Because if I had a long gash on one leg , I might be favoring that , but if the left leg has bone / tendon damage , that would result in favoring it no matter what wound the right leg has . I guess I was just confused here is all . As the boy and his Abra looked in wonder at the strange object , a small stony flake , glistening slightly in the oily light of the conjured orb , began to skitter across the top of the altar , seemingly of its own accord . As the boy and his pokemon noticed the flake , they stiffened , perceiving a new threat . A little unwieldy starting two consecutive sentence with the same lines " As the boy and his . . . " . OVERALL : Very interesting beginning . What the heck kind of serrated blade is so powerful that it cuts through large stone tablets ? I 'd be scared as heck at the thought of that if I were in Boy 's shoes . And I desperately hope we see more of Boy because I really want his backstory with the adoptive parents . Okay , this is a good idea . How haven 't more people been injured by Pokemon ? Because of this device ! I 'm only 2 lines in here , and I very much want to know more about this thing . I think you could make a whole story around this device , actually . Does it protect against , say , a Scyther 's claws ? And if so , would you protect someone from ANY kind of blade ? Or ANY kind of fire ? I have a feeling I might just be digressing , though . " bullet seed ! ' Dorian roared . I 'm actually NOT going to say you need to capitalize the names of moves ( because I don 't , either generally , but you should capitalize the beginning of a sentence . No sooner had he given the command , the Growlithe righted itself and charged his Nuzleaf , orange flame licking the pits of its nostrils . The grass type followed behind , purpose written across its scarred face ; it jumped and landed on top of the Growlithe , using both legs to pin down the pup . I like those . Nice description there . - Okay , I read that one section a few times , and I can 't , for the life of me , figure out what the violet energy that picked up and flipped over Dorian was . Can you explain ? I 'm assuming it was some kind of psychic attack , but was it from Golduck ? Or even Shelton ? What was it ? - Aaannnddd . . . okay , Boy did not grow up to be Dorian . That makes sense , I guess . Boy is going to be . . . the villain of the story ? Maybe ? Way too early to conjecture on that , I suppose . Definitely intrigued by him , though . - I 'm wondering why the boy didn 't feel connected to his adoptive parents . I get that they aren 't his real birth parents , but I wonder why he seems so . . . mad about them . They certainly seem nice . Is the boy going through a rebellious time ? I 'm stuck with this question , and I hope it gets delved into . Usually when someone is " favoring " a leg , that means they are protecting it because it 's the weaker or injured one . So does Abra have two major leg injuries ? Because if I had a long gash on one leg , I might be favoring that , but if the left leg has bone / tendon damage , that would result in favoring it no matter what wound the right leg has . I guess I was just confused here is all . I see what you 're saying . I 'll have to check on that , because my understanding of ' favoring ' , is that you are doing more with that limb than another because the other is somewhat incapacitated . You 're favoring the one that 's in good condition . I 'll check on that to be sure , and If it needs to be changed I 'll do so . Thanks for bringing it to my attention . OVERALL : Very interesting beginning . What the heck kind of serrated blade is so powerful that it cuts through large stone tablets ? I 'd be scared as heck at the thought of that if I were in Boy 's shoes . And I desperately hope we see more of Boy because I really want his backstory with the adoptive parents Anyhoo , I 've noticed you hadn 't named the latest two chapters . Any reasoning for that ? Wait . . . * looks back * Oh durr , you haven 't been using names at all . Your " cause " , " effect " , and " aftermath " caused me to believe that . And now that I think about it , I don 't think they were needed at all . We would 've figured out what the chapter was about without that little reminder . Now to the two chapters I missed . I pity Ethan . He 's going through so much pain to gather up these flakes , and yet these voices keep up this ruse of being friendly to him , and showing gratitude for saving them . Alakazam can see through this , but because of his loyalty to Ethan , he has to do as he says , even though it hurts him more . Man , that 's dark . You really were convincing us Golduck wasn 't going to make it , and the somber piano music I 'm currently playing makes that hurt a lot ( because the song 's just that effective ) . Still , I am happy he 's alive , even though he 's going to be a changed duck from now on . I like the explanations the doctor gave about the gem . Something tells me you did some research a bit before writing that , or at least know a little bit about the brain ( well , biology in general ) , because that 's really impressive . Posts 1 , 116 " I 'm instituting a new rule , " Shelton began , crossing her legs and leaning forward . " From now on , all your decision making privileges have been revoked . Other than involuntary bodily functions you have to perform in order to survive , I want you on the sofa , sitting on your hands at all times . " I 'm curious as to the relationship here . Are they roommates ? Siblings ? Parent and child ? Lovers ? I 'm sure I 'll get it eventually , but I 'm kind of lost on it so far . After a pensive look , Dorian said , " I request the right to argue for a lower amount after I 've thought of a good enough excuse . " I like that . It 's like a good sitcom line . " Machop is under the house again , " she answered . " We were out back pulling weeds , when that soulless Sunflora popped out and started terrorizing him again . Shuppet is in her usual spot " I like this , too , as it really makes them feel like pets ( which I 'm sure you 've realized from my fic is how I more - or - less picture pokemon ) . A Machop getting harassed by an angry Sunflora . . . that really is kind of striking . I can see the Sunflora yipping at it when I recreate the scene in my head . Kind of a " show , don 't tell " problem here : I 'd rather the story display to me that he 's a genius than the narration say it outright . " How you doing , hotshot ? " his uncle asked . " Still driving the girls crazy ? " I would MAYBE have liked a BIT more set - up here , but as it stands , it seems like an amazingly unlikely coincidence . This guy literally trips over an ancient artifact , and then 5 minutes later his scientist uncle calls him and says he 's looking for it ? That 's one - in - a - trillion or so . The wall whimpered in protest , trying to hold its shape , struggling to retain the only purpose it ever had . With a groan , the wall slid forward into a pile of rubble at the Rhydon 's outsized feet Okay , I love all that . The man didn 't know where they were going next , but he knew that the next time he slept , he would be told . He was always told where to go and how to better himself and his Pokemon . The voices would whisper to him in his dreams , guiding him towards additional power , guiding him to more knowledge , and eventually , guiding him to his destiny Good ending there . What kind of " power " is he getting from these things ? He still seems ordinary , what with Alakazam having to save his life . So what are they doing to them ? I 'm sensing an eventual face turn from Alakazam , too , where he betrays his trainer and works to save him from what the flakes are doing to him . Anyhoo , I 've noticed you hadn 't named the latest two chapters . Any reasoning for that ? Wait . . . * looks back * Oh durr , you haven 't been using names at all . Your " cause " , " effect " , and " aftermath " caused me to believe that . And now that I think about it , I don 't think they were needed at all . We would 've figured out what the chapter was about without that little reminder . I see what you 're saying . I named those chapters because of the seriousness of the situations they faced . I think if I 'm going to names the chapters , I should be more consistent , as to avoid confusion . I think I 'm going to leave them the way that they are , but thanks for pointing that out . I pity Ethan . He 's going through so much pain to gather up these flakes , and yet these voices keep up this ruse of being friendly to him , and showing gratitude for saving them . Alakazam can see through this , but because of his loyalty to Ethan , he has to do as he says , even though it hurts him more . Man , that 's dark . You really were convincing us Golduck wasn 't going to make it , and the somber piano music I 'm currently playing makes that hurt a lot ( because the song 's just that effective ) . Still , I am happy he 's alive , even though he 's going to be a changed duck from now on . I like the explanations the doctor gave about the gem . Something tells me you did some research a bit before writing that , or at least know a little bit about the brain ( well , biology in general ) , because that 's really impressive . I flirted with the idea of letting him die for a long time . With that music you had playing , I can see how it may have worked haha . I have had some schooling when it comes to biology , but most of my explanation with Golduck 's brain / physiology is just stuff I made up . I 've always loved Psyduck and Golduck , so over the years I 've come up with alot of theories with how their mental prowess works . Thanks ! I 'm curious as to the relationship here . Are they roommates ? Siblings ? Parent and child ? Lovers ? I 'm sure I 'll get it eventually , but I 'm kind of lost on it so far . I mentioned once or twice before that line that they were roomates . Looking back at later chapters , I can see how their relationship would be confusing . Dorian is extremely impulsive , wereas Shelton is calculated and responsible . She acts like a parent towards him alot of the time , which is the main reason she 's so cross towards him sometimes . I like this , too , as it really makes them feel like pets ( which I 'm sure you 've realized from my fic is how I more - or - less picture pokemon ) . A Machop getting harassed by an angry Sunflora . . . that really is kind of striking . I can see the Sunflora yipping at it when I recreate the scene in my head . I would MAYBE have liked a BIT more set - up here , but as it stands , it seems like an amazingly unlikely coincidence . This guy literally trips over an ancient artifact , and then 5 minutes later his scientist uncle calls him and says he 's looking for it ? That 's one - in - a - trillion or so . Lol , it is unlikely . The reasoning behind that will become clear later on Good ending there . What kind of " power " is he getting from these things ? He still seems ordinary , what with Alakazam having to save his life . So what are they doing to them ? I 'm sensing an eventual face turn from Alakazam , too , where he betrays his trainer and works to save him from what the flakes are doing to him That will be revealed with some of the chapters I 've posted . Alakazam is in a complicated place . Even when he was an Abra so many years ago , he knew that Ethan should not get involved , but couldn 't stop him . Now that he 's grown and matured , he may end up being able to express himself to Ethan better . I hope so at least I figure you mean " body slam " in that he unintentionally rammed his body into them , but initially read it as " like when Hulk Hogan picked up and slammed Andre The Giant " and was very perplexed as to why the hell he would do that ? I guess he DOES owe that Golduck . LOL . Not a mistake on your part , but my pop - culture ensoaked brain gave me a tremendously funny visual . Thanks for that ! Kind of a silly moment since we haven 't seen this side of Shelton at all . But again . . . I LOL ' ed . " Let 's do it ! " Dorian announced . " Strap on the nitro ! " " No . That catch phrase is never going to catch on . Besides that , its barely a catch phrase . Its just random words that have nothing to do with our current situation . " - I like the quick , zippy dialogue here , because I usually write a lot of that ( my fic hasn 't given me much of a chance yet , but que sera sera ) . I really like two characters going back - and - forth in a rapid succession . SOME of the lines there seemed a little forced ( the " Last word freak " one stuck out to me ) , but by - and - large , it was a lot of fun to read . I enjoyed that part a lot . - It 's good seeing the plot develop here , and I like the irony that Dorian is leaving Johto for Kanto while Ethan is doing the opposite . Good job removing both characters from their element . I look forward to getting to chapter 4 tomorrow . " Shut it . Just because you had one good idea does not mean that I have a higher opinion of you . Besides , you still owe me for rent , " Shelton snarled . Dorian ducked out of her reach and walked a bit faster , muttering curses under his breath . The walk through Viridian Forest had only taken about two hours , and thankfully , it had been without incident . The woods were serene and silent , their colors exclaiming vibrant hues of gold , orange , and red . As Dorian and Shelton approached the borders of Pewter City , he whipped out his phone and called his uncle , bracing himself for his naturally booming voice . A tone sounded three times in rapid succession , signaling that his uncle had ignored his call . Confused , Dorian dialed again , only to be greeted by the same high pitched beeps . It was odd his uncle wasn 't answering , as he was probably expecting them by now . As they strode past the main entrance to the city , Dorian looked to the northeast and caught the familiar sight of the red roof of Ronnie 's house . Allowing himself a small smile , he looked over to Nuzleaf and Shelton , only to find them wearing the same expression . Ronnie would make their recent misfortune worthwhile ; he would put them back into their usual mindset . His uncle always exuded a sense of calm and jovial happiness , and had always done his best to make him and Shelton feel welcome and comfortable ; it was an unspoken promise he had kept ever since he started raising them . Ethan tightened his grip on Rapidash 's neck as he started to slip to the left . Just as he did however , he felt a gentle force press his body back into an upright position . Looking backwards , he saw a faint violet aura around his Alakazam . He noticed a similar aura taking shape around his own legs and waist ; obviously Alakazam 's attempt to keep them both level on the galloping horse . The group blew through the entrance to Viridian City like a tornado , sending people in their way dashing to the left and right for safety . A small line of flames traced a path behind them , the result of the drying grass being exposed to Rapidash 's intense heat . People to the east and west of the city looking their direction were only able to make out a shining streak of yellow and orange , racing through the northern exit of the city like a meteorite . Ethan stared straight ahead , not noticing or caring for the sharp yells of the people they passed . Ethan was on the path to his destiny , on the road towards two hooligans that had stolen something very precious from him . He would take back the shard from them of course , that was just a byproduct of the vengeance that was about to be released . Besides their crime of thievery , they had threatened the voices , and for that they would be punished . He knew that they probably didn 't know what they had done , but it didn 't matter . Ignorance does not excuse a crime , and this was an offense that would not be forgiven . He felt Alakazam flinch behind him as the words crossed his mind ; having no doubt that the psychic type had heard . Unfazed , Ethan used his heels to spurn Rapidash faster , his body starting to almost vibrate with eagerness . The forest they were traveling through morphed into a ring of brown and black as they sped up , Ethan 's eyes unable to focus due to the wind howling into them . He knew that Rapidash was already pushed to the edge of her abilities , but he dug his heels into her harder ; fire in his eyes and murder in his heart . They were standing about twenty feet from Ronnie 's front porch , stopped dead in their tracks by a withering mass of sparking electrical cables . The strands of thick plastic danced around about in a chaotic fashion , loud snaps ringing out as they discharged electricity . A crew of four men formed a square around the cables , waving their hands in warning as people walked by . They were all wearing identical blue jumpsuits with snowy white hardhats , their apparel streaked with layers of grime and sweat . The one closest to them saw them approaching and quickly trotted over , his hand fixed on the top of his head to keep his hard hat from bouncing off . " Sorry folk 's , but that 's as close as ya 'll are gonna get , " the man said , his vowels long and prominent . The man 's brow was drenched in sweat , which transitioned to his almost shoulder length hair that was of the same wet persuasion . A scraggly three - day growth of a beard was visible against intense hazel eyes . As he came to a stop in front of them , Dorian noticed two things . First , that the man was tanned and muscularly toned like that of a chiseled statue ; the second thing was that Shelton was salivating like a hungry Houndoom . " Pleased to meet you , James , " Shelton grinned , her voice giggling as she said his name . " You ain 't from Pewter , are you ? " James asked . Dorian watched the scene before him unfold in disgust , completely unaccustomed to Shelton 's blatant flirting . She was swooning over this man with no regard to what she looked like ; which to Dorian was akin to her asking for a three course dinner at a hardware store . Spying two children kicking a ball past them , Dorian took the opportunity to put Shelton out of her misery . " Oh come on , " Shelton replied . " Seriously Dorian , every woman between twelve and ninety - five with a pulse would think he 's hot . " " Did you just come up with that , or is that saying something you 've heard somewhere before ? " " You 're both morons , " Shelton moaned , clearly exasperated by the conversation . Just as Shelton was about to expand on her point , Dorian felt his phone vibrate in his pocket . Flipping his phone open , he said , " You better have a good reason for ignoring my call , I feel almost violated . " " It 's actually kind of complicated . I 'm leaving the museum , but I 'm under a sort of academic house arrest . The director gave the order to send the excavation team out a few days earlier than expected , which forced me to tell him about your discovery . " " To say the least . He was angry at first that I kept this from him , but his mood quickly changed as he realized that the find could save the museum a lot of money . The pictures you sent me sufficed for the moment , but he 's asked me to get the marker from you and bring it to him . " " Don 't worry about it , " Ronnie replied . " I 'm already on my way to the house , so I 'll just grab it when I get there . There 's still a composition test I want to do before I present it . " He looked over to Nuzleaf and Shelton to tell them what Ronnie said , but stopped when he noticed what appeared to be a fire near the southern entrance of the city . Squinting , he saw the fire flare brighter for a second , then vanish completely in a flash of red light . After deciding that it was probably just some random trainer battle , he turned back to his roommate . Ethan quickly dismounted his Rapidash as she trotted to a stop . They were situated at the outskirts of Pewter , only a stone 's throw away from the southern gate . He quickly looked around for his Scyther , dry grass crunching loudly beneath his boots . Confident that his Scyther would arrive momentarily , Ethan turned back to examine the city . A red shingled Pokemon Center sat up the right , while farther back and to the left resided an almost depressed looking market ; its blue roof cracked and weathered with age . Houses were strewn across the city like random fallen raindrops , with no order or discernible pattern to their placement . Slabs of rock decorated the ground every few hundred feet , some no bigger than basketballs , while others were as large as cars ; a testament to the city 's rocky beginning . Ethan hated all of it ; it was so , unorganized . There weren 't even clear paths for people to walk on , instead there were just random trails of stomped grass crisscrossing in every direction . This poor excuse of a city was nothing compared to his home in Saffron , where manicured lawns and glass high - rises reigned supreme . Ethan would deal with this situation quickly and get back home ; back to a place with proper people and actual order . There was a rustling of limbs , and a shadow appeared between the nearest trees . Scyther forced herself through the tight overgrowth , making an effort to keep her left arm hidden behind her back . Her eyes lit up as she saw her master , and shuffled over to stand next to Alakazam . Before she took a step however , Ethan quickly jumped forward and grabbed her left arm , twisting it roughly towards himself . The sword that made up his Pokemon 's lower arm had been burned severely , turning her dark green color a putrid black . Scyther looked back at him guiltily , trying to wrench her arm out of his grasp . " What happened ? " Ethan hissed . " Saisa , " she moaned as his grip tightened . " Stop , " Ethan ordered . " It serves you right . Slicing electrical cables is something a Beedrill would do , not you . Did I not express how important this was ? What were you thinking ? " " You 're not getting off that easy , " Ethan replied , clamping down on her arm so hard that his hand began to cramp . " Scyther ! " she yelled , tearing her arm from his gasp . Her sword came loose quickly , though not before it tore a pencil width gash across his wrist . She held her arm to her chest , trying her best to look apologetic ; which was something she rarely succeeded at , owing to the fact that she was never sorry about anything . " This is important , and there is no room for error , " Ethan informed the frightened bug . Wincing , he flexed his right arm and closed his eyes in an effort to center himself . After a moment , he opened them again to see the wound on his wrist healing , black smoke drifting out of the hole . Moments later , the cut was gone , leaving no trace that it had ever happened . " Saisai , " Scyther explained , pointing with her uninjured arm back through the trees . Fuming with more anger than he had before he got to town , Ethan followed his Scyther into the dense forest , trying his best not to make any noise . Alakazam followed behind , doing rapid multiplication in his head to occupy his mind . The trio quickly made their way across the town , keeping far enough into the forest that they couldn 't be seen . After a few minutes , Scyther halted , staring at a house about a hundred yards away . They were there , in all their thieving glory . A red mist came over Ethan and he started forward , his hands shaking with rage . Alakazam grabbed him right before he got out of reach , causing him to turn around . The psychic Pokemon pointed towards the group Ethan was walking towards , motioning at the numerous other people that were walking nearby . Ethan took a breath to calm himself . His Alakazam was right ; it was far too crowded to risk any sort of unprovoked attack . With slow and deliberate steps , Ethan pushed himself through the woods to peek around the last tree that separated the two groups . As he came to the edge of the trees , the shard in his pocket began to vibrate . Shaking his head , he returned back to the game he and Nuzleaf were playing . The game was an amalgamation of different situations they 've been put through over the years , and they were still in the process of perfecting the rules . Basically , they faced each other about fifteen yards away from each other and stood completely still . One of them expanded a pokeball , and threw it at the other as hard as they could . You could aim for any area on the person you wished , but if you flinched or dodged out of the way , you earned yourself a penalty . Their current penalty was that the other person could give them a punch to the gut , without any sort of padding or protection whatsoever . To them it was a fair game , because if you showed courage , you usually took a pokeball to the skull , and if you showed cowardice , you were rewarded with a punch to the stomach . The only real way to win was for the other person to miss every time while remaining completely still . " Nunuz ! " Nuzleaf answered , his eyes squeezed tightly shut . The ball missed him by several feet , causing him to blow Dorian a raspberry and take off after it . A laugh to his left caused him to look over . Machoke was giggling slightly at Dorian 's failed attempt , his voice much deeper than it had been as a Machop . On one hand , Dorian was glad Machoke had calmed down enough to relax , as there had been a pretty stressful situation when he was released a few minutes ago . Dorian had been talking to Shelton as he and Nuzleaf lined up to play their game when she had decided to release Machoke for the first time since returning him right after he had evolved . The fighting Pokemon had materialized in a shower of white energy , standing almost as tall as Dorian in his new form . The only problem was , he had taken shape completely nude . As soon as Machoke 's eyes took in his new form and the area he was in , he quickly started crying and covering his lower body in embarrassment . Shelton had tried to calm him down , only to have her Pokemon start stomping the ground in angst , creating cracks in the road with his newfound brawn . Machoke had only calmed down once Dorian pulled out a pair of his own boxer briefs from his bag and handed them to him . Now , Machoke was seated on the ground next to Shelton , Dorian 's boxers being stretched to their limit by his bulging muscles . Shelton was sitting next to him , her head leaning against her Pokemon 's shoulder . She hadn 't stopped touching Machoke since he had emerged from his ball , convinced that something else would befall him if he wandered too far away from her . " It 's not as easy as you might think . So how about you mind your own busi - , " Dorian started , only to be cut off by a fiery glaze sent at him by Shelton . Just as Dorian turned back towards Nuzleaf , he paused , his back pocket was vibrating . It was odd though , as he distinctly remembered putting his phone in his front pocket . Shaking his head , he reached into his back pocket and pulled it out ; but it wasn 't his phone he had retrieved , it was the shard . It was pulsing lightly , almost like a gentle heartbeat . Dorian didn 't understand why the marker was moving . It didn 't have anything inside it , at least to the best of his knowledge it didn 't . " Why are you looking at that thing like that ? " Shelton asked . " You little bastard ! " Dorian yelled , bending down and picking up the ball . " I wasn 't paying attention ! That 's a free shot from ten feet ! " In a rage , Dorian darted forward , the pokeball in his right hand , the pulsing shard in his left . As he closed to about ten feet away , Dorian drew back and hurled the ball at Nuzleaf , its red surface gleaming . Nuzleaf barely ducked in time as the ball streaked towards him , causing it to miss him by several inches . The ball continued on its course , slicing through the air like a knife . As it connected with the hedge that circled Ronnie 's house , there was a loud squeal , a flash of white light , and a tiny snap as it closed itself back up . " I know what to do , " Dorian replied , walking over to the hedge . It took him a moment to dig through the thick foliage , but his hands found the trembling pokeball . Standing back up , he rolled it in his hand , his mind a mix of anticipation and confusion . With a loud ding , the return button of the ball blinked red rapidly , signaling a successful capture . Taking a quick breath , Dorian pressed the return button , opening the ball and spilling out its contents . A shape began to materialize on the ground in front of them , bathing their half circle in a bright white glow . Starting at the ground , a thick black tail in the winding shape of a coil appeared , followed by a sizeable , similarly colored tube - like stomach . Two stubby arms became visible next , followed by two rosy circles of fur underneath inky black eyes . By far the most distinguishing characteristic of the now fully formed Pokemon was a large pink pearl clamped tightly between its tiny ears . " Spoink ? " the Pokemon repeated , looking at Dorian like he was some sort of extraterrestrial . Its eyes drifted over the rest of the group , narrowing slightly when it came to the hulking form of Machoke . Coming back to Dorian , the Spoink spied the open pokeball clutched in Dorian 's right hand . Its eyes widened to the extreme , and its mouth dropped open . " Wai - , " Dorian started , only to stop short as he was yanked off the ground and thrown backwards through the air . Dorian 's vision blurred as he flew backwards , the world passing by him too quickly to focus . Just before the force carrying him dropped its hold , he managed to turn his head around to see where he was going to land . Dorian began flailing his arms wildly in vain , yelling through clenched teeth as his body came down on the twitching mass of sliced electrical cables in front of his uncle 's house . Pain , unimaginable pain , coursed through his body in torrents as the electricity surged across his flesh . Almost as soon as that one agonizing second commenced , it was over , and he pushed himself up off the ground . Shivering and covered with goose bumps , Dorian struggled to understand why the temperature had changed so dramatically . Remembering what he had fallen into , Dorian quickly leaped to the left , putting him out of the way of the cables . As he looked down to where he had just jumped from , he gasped . His body was still lying on the ground , twitching and contorting in agony as electricity billowed across it . He almost fainted on the spot as he looked at his body on the ground , his mind being torn in half by the paradox that was taking shape in front of him . He was standing to the side , he wasn 't still on the cables ; he had jumped , hadn 't he ? As he watched his body on the ground , he noticed two things . First , that his body on the ground was spasming far too slowly ; and looking up he could see Nuzleaf in the distance running towards his body on the ground , but he was moving slow as well , like he was stuck in slow motion . The second thing he noticed was that the blue electricity surging across his frame on the ground was all moving to one point , to the shard still clutched in his left hand . Dorian raised his left hand in his standing body and saw that the same shard was in that hand as well , the only difference being that it was glowing . How was it in both hands ? Despite the fact that he was having an out of body experience , that question kept forcing its way into his mind . How were they in both hands ? Just as he asked himself the question again , the black shard started pulsing . Harder and harder it pulsed , vibrating so hard that Dorian could barely hang on to it . He couldn 't understand the situation unfolding in front of him ; it was so far beyond the realm of his comprehension that all he could do was stare blankly at the softly glowing object . Well , almost all he could do . He figured out he could still scream ; which is exactly what he did when the shard wrapped itself around his left hand and yanked him into the sky . Posts 1 , 116 Woo ! " Filler chapter ! " Dorian and Shelton 's Pokemon were all out of their respective balls , clapping softly as Trapinch approached . Well , almost all of them . Considering the narrator is not a " character " ( at least has not been portrayed as such ) , it seems odd for the narrator to say something like " Well , almost all of them " . It sounds a bit too colloquial for an unquestioned narration . Do you know what I mean ? There 's nothing wrong with giving your narrator some flavor and personality , but it hasn 't had one to this point , so this threw me . " I was hoping that a win might finally make you evolve , " Dorian said . " It 's alright though . I know you 're as eager to get rid of those pains as I am . Maybe it 'll happen next time Trapinch began to growl loudly , tapping into the growing process that his kind was sometimes afforded . His skin suddenly transformed into sickly hues of yellow and green . His eyes began to bulge and turn a lustrous olive as his backbone began to stretch and wiggle trough the back of his thick hide . Crimson blood streamed down his sides as a pair of regal looking , rhombus shaped wings burst out from underneath his skin . Growling louder now , the bones in his face began to change shape , becoming thinner , narrower , becoming almost brittle in their lightness . As a pair of antenna burst out of Trapinch 's forehead , his new tail split in two , mirroring the shape and color of its new wings . Yeah , see . . . that was good . Very powerful visuals . I just would liked to have seen hints of the changes earlier . But still . . . very nice ! " Look kid , I 'm not in the mood to battle you , " Dorian said , his mood bypassing annoyance and going straight to exasperation . " I don 't care if we locked eyes , I don 't have to adhere to your need to prove yourself . How old are you anyway ? Twelve ? " " I 'm fourteen ! " the kid yelled . " It 's in the rules ! If you look at me , and I look back at you , we have to battle . I 'll call the Pokemon Battle Association if you don 't ! " " What makes you think I care ? Do you think that 's going to change my mind ? Kid , before you threaten someone , you need to make sure you have something to take away from them . " " Are you off your medication ? I have at least twelve years experience on you , " Dorian said , bringing his head down to the teen 's level . " Where are your parents ? I 'm feeling the sudden urge to tell them what an annoying little bastard you are . " You like to make fun of the game tropes . That was at least two right there . It 's fun to ridicule the sillier aspects of the games , but be careful not to overdo it . It 's hard to juxtapose the realism of Trapinch 's bloody , pain evolution against the silliness of those things . I know that you are ridiculing the silliness of them , but it 's still feeling a TAD BIT forced to do so . But don 't worry , it 's amusing to read either way . - What an odd note to end the chapter on . It makes me feel there is more to this kid and his Beedrill than meets the eye . I 'm curious as to how this battle wraps up and what it 's leading to , so I might sneak a peak at chapter 5 before heading off . As far as filler chapters go , this wasn 't bad . I like filler because it develops character . We didn 't really get MUCH of that here , but the writing was still very enjoyable . Posts 3 , 228 All caught up ! But I 'm on my iPod right now so I can 't give an in depth review . As I told you already , I loved chapter 8 . It has to be my favorite so far . I had thought you killed Golduck . I was going to cry , but I 'm happy to see that he is alive . The Graveler incident wrapped up very nicely . I expect both Dorian and Shelton to grow from it . I love how you portrayed Shelton when she saw the workman . Seems like you have women pinned down . ; P Ethan becoming more and more frustrated was a nice touch . It seems he 's ready to pull his hair out . Keep up the good work . Until next time . Well , I think it would have protected him but it wasn 't activated at the time . The device needs to be switched on to be able to block attacks . So if he 's not in a battle or dangerous situation , I think he leaves it off to save power . Lol now that I think about it , it is pretty similar . However , no , its my own invention . I use that catch phrase irl , and it annoys my fiance to no end . Considering the narrator is not a " character " ( at least has not been portrayed as such ) , it seems odd for the narrator to say something like " Well , almost all of them " . It sounds a bit too colloquial for an unquestioned narration . Do you know what I mean ? There 's nothing wrong with giving your narrator some flavor and personality , but it hasn 't had one to this point , so this threw me . I see what you mean . You 're actually the second person to suggest that very thing . I flirted with the idea before , but with Trapinch I decided that the way I went was my favorite . Who knows , you may see some of what you suggested if any more of their pokemon evolve . You like to make fun of the game tropes . That was at least two right there . It 's fun to ridicule the sillier aspects of the games , but be careful not to overdo it . It 's hard to juxtapose the realism of Trapinch 's bloody , pain evolution against the silliness of those things . I know that you are ridiculing the silliness of them , but it 's still feeling a TAD BIT forced to do so . But don 't worry , it 's amusing to read either way . On one hand , I was making fun of the games , but the main reason the kid said those things because his character is really bent on following rules at all costs and sticking to exactly what his manual says . That 'll become apparent in later chapters as he slowly works himself back into the story . I 'll keep what you said in mind . I see what you mean . You 're actually the second person to suggest that very thing . I flirted with the idea before , but with Trapinch I decided that the way I went was my favorite . Who knows , you may see some of what you suggested if any more of their pokemon evolve . Working on a review and saw this . I have a problem with that form of evolution . It makes snese to me for a Pokemon to be preparing , like a bear for hibernation , and then let the actual change happen more instantaniously , but if you go the drawn out route , what do you do with Pokemon liek Remoraid ? Halfway through evolution , . uyou have this finless red rock thing with dumpy little limbs not quite long enough to move its proportionally oversize head , and the flins it had as a Remoraid have mostly retreated into its Octillery body . You have this fish that can 't feed itself . . . On the subject of the evolution method , I think it 's a good idea and waaay more realistic than in the games and anime , but I see Glover 's point about certain Pokémon that would struggle with this method . But what if certain Pokémon , such as Remoraid , had developed faster evolution so that they wouldn 't have to go as long without food ? That 's just an idea on my part , feel free to say it 's terrible . " Shut it . Just because you had one good idea does not mean that I have a higher opinion of you . Besides , you still owe me for rent , " Shelton snarled . I think you portray the relationship between Dorian and Shelton really well . You have a good balance between Shelton 's scathing nudges but not making it seem too forced . He felt Alakazam flinch behind him as the words crossed his mind ; having no doubt that the psychic type had heard . Unfazed , Ethan used his heels to spurn Rapidash faster , his body starting to almost vibrate with eagerness . The forest they were traveling through morphed into a ring of brown and black as they sped up , Ethan 's eyes unable to focus due to the wind howling into them . He knew that Rapidash was already pushed to the edge of her abilities , but he dug his heels into her harder ; fire in his eyes and murder in his heart . Another thing I like is the way you 're portraying Ethan . He 's slowly getting more and more violent in his pursuit of Dorian and Shelton , and the fact that Alakazam doesn 't wholly agree with him is a nice touch on the lines of making sure all the Pokémon have personalitites . It also means he 's a tiny bit more unpredictable . I know I ought to point out the negative points of this fic as well as going " You portrayed this well , you wrote that well " , but tbh I can 't see anything that you desparately need to work on . Future reviews probably won 't be quite as in - depth ( by my standards anyway ) , but they will definitely come . Looking forward to the next chapter . Originally Posted by Missingno . Master And my authorish side must tell you that logic doesn 't trump diddly in this story . Klang can fart . Plain and simple . Working on a review and saw this . I have a problem with that form of evolution . It makes snese to me for a Pokemon to be preparing , like a bear for hibernation , and then let the actual change happen more instantaniously , but if you go the drawn out route , what do you do with Pokemon liek Remoraid ? Halfway through evolution , . uyou have this finless red rock thing with dumpy little limbs not quite long enough to move its proportionally oversize head , and the flins it had as a Remoraid have mostly retreated into its Octillery body . You have this fish that can 't feed itself . . . I see your point as well . I like my idea of spontaneous violent evolution the best , but subtle changes beforehand , like change of eye color , skin color , beginnings of a tail , etc , are something that I may or may not decide to do . As long as the small changes don 't affect the Pokemon to the point where they can 't function normally , I don 't see a problem with it . Lol , I 'll probably end up sticking to my version Thanks ! Their relationship is one area I think is really integral to the story , so its been something I 've been trying really hard on . Thanks for noticing . I 'm sure she was , which is why the first thing she did after she was able to rest was start eating . . . . WHAT ? Argh , massive cliffhanger ! ;_ ; I hope Dorian doesn 't die . I like Dorian . I like their interactions here a lot . You do a good job at showing how they get along yet how they like to playfully fight with each other . ( Also , this is like my dream situation . I like being lazy . ) Well , this explains a lot . Yay for Dorian and Shelton backstory ! Now that I think about it , anyway , I prefer them to have sibling - like relationship rather than a romantic one . I wouldn 't really use the word " obviously " in third person . It can make the readers feel dumb especially if they don 't realize what you 're actually trying to say . Also expecting your readers to know things is silly . If you said , however : " it was obvious to Ethan that Alakazam was trying to keep them both level … " or something , that 'd be fine , since it 's attributed to your character , not the readers . Hope that makes sense . Ignorance does not excuse a crime , and this was an offense that would not be forgiven . Amusing . Oh , Shelton , you 're such a flirt . She was swooning over this man with no regard to what she looked like ; which to Dorian was akin to her asking for a three course dinner at a hardware store . Even more amusing . I 'd totally like to see this scene . And it 's just like Dorian to be like … what the hell are you doing ? LOL . A course a guy would say no . Also , I like the hint of Dorian not liking people from other regions . I 've seen a lot of rivalry between regions being implemented in fics , and I 've always found it pretty interesting . It 's kind of like the pokémon version of racism … since no one ever seems to have actual race prominent in their fics . Nuzleaf randomly showing up LOL . If even the pokémon know you 're kinda going around too much , then that sounds like a pretty big deal . " Yeah , " Dorian replied . " He 's coming . " Lol , at first I think Ronnie , but you cut this section off at the perfect point to where the readers realizes - well , * * * * , Ethan 's coming too . Confident that his Scyther would arrive momentarily , Ethan turned back to examine the city . A red shingled Pokemon Center sat up the right , while farther back and to the left resided an almost depressed looking market ; its blue roof cracked and weathered with age . Houses were strewn across the city like random fallen raindrops , with no order or discernible pattern to their placement . Slabs of rock decorated the ground every few hundred feet , some no bigger than basketballs , while others were as large as cars ; a testament to the city 's rocky beginning . This is a very interesting and descriptive take on Pewter City . Yeah , it 's supposed to be a really ancient city and kind of old , but the games / anime never really show that . I like this a lot . " You 're not getting off that easy , " Ethan replied , clamping down on her arm so hard that his hand began to cramp . As evil as it sounds , I really like this part . It shows just how serious Ethan is about this situation . He 's willing to go pretty damn far for it , even if it means that his pokémon get hurt . The only problem was , he had taken shape completely nude . As soon as Machoke 's eyes took in his new form and the area he was in , he quickly started crying and covering his lower body in embarrassment . Poor Machoke . This is a pretty interesting take on the pokémon . Usually they 're all supposed to have heavyweight belts or something , but it just doesn 't make sense for them to materialize out of nowhere . I like this realistic take on Machoke . It also gave great insight to his character . : P Poor guy . I also liked the ending a lot . Looks like Dorian 's going through something similar that Ethan does because of the stone . Out - of - body experiences can certainly be interesting . Overall , your description was really good in this chapter , as usual . I could see everything very clearly . There was also a lot more interactive dialogue in this chapter , I think … And I think you 're getting a lot better at it . You really know how to portray a character 's personality and such through their words alone , which is a good skill to have . Anyway , I look forward to seeing more . | | survival project | | phantom project | | Posts 526 Sorry for the delay , but its here now . I tried to find any remaining grammatical errors , but I 'm still not that good in that area , so please correct me if any of my statements prove to be false . Well , let 's get started . Requiem , an interesting choice for a story title . It means a church service for someone who has died , or a piece of music for that service , a slightly morbid piece of foreshadowing in my opinion . Still , catchy title . Originally Posted by Sidewinder Supposed to be inseparable . A very well written start to this story . You explain the boy 's childhood and give us many details of his situation including the fact that he has an Abra with similar issues . The scene with the chamber is a little rushed in my opinion , going from the boy losing sight of the tour group to being attacked by a wild Pokemon to getting dragged through a wall to the alter and the crystal , but this is the prologue so I guess its all right if its short . A great chapter , you described the Growlithe battle with much detail as well as introducing Dorian and Nuzleaf . Shelton is well on her way to becoming my favorite character , her no - nonsense attitude and treatment of Dorian who is a polar opposite of her make for quite the funny scene . I 'd like to mention the passage at the end of the chapter . This man is a strange character , he doesn 't show the signs of an outright antagonist - in fact the prologue makes him seem more like a protagonist with his new powers and the voices . You set up his story so that his quest will eventually intersect with Dorian and Shelton now that Dorian has that artifact . Originally Posted by Sidewinder Nothing wrong with this passage , I just found it funny . It 's a sign of a good author when they can input humor into a story and not detract from the main plot . Originally Posted by Sidewinder " Well , from the limited amount of information we 've gathered on the marker 's , they 're supposedly forged from metal ; but out of a rare ore we think is obsidian . Though we don 't know for sure because there is so little discovered throughout the world today , only a few grams or so . We know that from their description , its jet black , weighing much less than other metal ore 's they would have had access to back then . From what the Director is thinking , he attributed it more to a hollow , glossy diamond , instead of metal . " Again , a well written chapter . A few grammatical errors , but the number of them is decreasing as more chapters pass . Which is always a good sign of improvement . We see the financial situation that Dorian and Shelton are in , which , provides a good incentive for them to deliver the artifact to Dorian 's uncle ( I know that doesn 't happen until chapter three , but I 'm pointing it out now ) . And the man 's quest for the shards , and absorbing them , nice description with that . Originally Posted by Sidewinder The man didn 't know where they were going next , but he knew that the next time he slept , he would be told . He was always told where to go and how to better himself and his Pokemon . The voices would whisper to him in his dreams , guiding him towards additional power , guiding him to more knowledge , and eventually , guiding him to his destiny . And now we are introduced to a new character of sorts , the voices . While we don 't know whether the man is the villain of this story yet , we know that it is these voices that guide him on his quest for some unknown reason . You 're introducing his character slowly , so that the readers only see a small bit of his personality at a time . A nice touch , his " destiny " adds another bit of mystery to the plot . Originally Posted by Sidewinder " No . That catch phrase is never going to catch on . Besides that , its barely a catch phrase . Its just random words that have nothing to do with our current situation . " I 'm not sure on this one , but it sounds better if it said " quickly " not " quick " . The few errors aside , a good chapter . This is where the real adventure begins . I find it a little strange that Dorian just found that rare artifact covered by a thin layer of dirt , while the others were in hidden , underground chambers that had to be forced open with a Pokemon attack . I realize that it 's for the plot , but I 'm not sure why this certain artifact was so easy to find . Just a little oddity I was wondering about . As of this chapter , Dorian and Shelton , and even Ethan 's characters seem to be developing steadily , with details of back - story and personality being revealed gradually as to not overwhelm readers . You have an excellent balance of plot development , character development , details , and humor . You also make the Pokemon very memorable and make their individual personalities shine . Yet another reason why I enjoy this story . When you are doing quick back - and - forth dialogue , you don 't need the names and verbs ( " Dorian exclaimed " , etc . Just let it flow , untagged line after untagged line . It will feel a LOT more natural , and will read just as it is supposed to . As long as each character has a distinctive voice , the readers should be able to keep up with the flow for several lines at a time . The cliff face to the left began to shift . Slowly at first , almost accidentally , as if it was struggling to decide whether it wanted to keep its shape . White eyes opened along the expanse of the cliff , blinking slowly . Upon closer inspection , legs and arms became visible . The roughly hewn limbs made out of the same rock they were latched onto . The shapes communicated by moving themselves against the rocks , listening to the craggy vibrations that were made when they did so I LOVE the part about the Geodude / Graveler / Whatever communicating through vibration . That 's incredibly realistic and creative . I 'm not enamored with the " Upon closer inspection , legs and arms became visible " line because that sounds almost like script direction than actual prose . Do you get what I mean ? - The ending was fantastic , and I loved the bit with Golduck and Machop and their relationship with Golduck trying to reassure , and later protect him . This is a nice , interesting plot twist to interrupt the main storyline . No Ethan , just the new threat of angry Gravelers . And the two biggest threats to them were neutralized first ? Angry SMART Gravelers . The semi - colon needs to be a comma . Semi - colons indicate that a sentence can be split into two separate ones without being fragments . Commas separate the fragments that wouldn 't pass as regular sentences . If you don 't want to replace the semi - colon , you might want to replace " having " with " he had " . I know that the worker is supposed to have a bit of an accented drawl , and I love the fact that you gave him a noticeable accent and personality ; it makes him all the more memorable . However , the two bolded words were misspelled . " Folks " shouldn 't have an apostrophe ; it 's a single word that would denote Dorian and Shelton . And the apostrophe in " y ' all " is supposed to be between the " y " and the " a " , since it 's a shortened version of " you all " . Ethan hated all of it ; it was so , unorganized . There weren 't even clear paths for people to walk on , instead there were just random trails of stomped grass crisscrossing in every direction . This poor excuse of a city was nothing compared to his home in Saffron , where manicured lawns and glass high - rises reigned supreme . Ethan would deal with this situation quickly and get back home ; back to a place with proper people and actual order . Shaking his head , he reached into his back pocket and pulled it out ; but it wasn 't his phone he had retrieved , it was the shard . It was pulsing lightly , almost like a gentle heartbeat . Dorian didn 't understand why the marker was moving . It didn 't have anything inside it , at least to the best of his knowledge it didn 't . I actually felt sorry for Scyther , and I don 't blame her at all for lashing out at her trainer . Hell , I don 't think she should 've apologized for that ; what Ethan did to her was completely unnecessary and cruel , especially when she showed that she did feel bad about cutting the cable wires . I also felt sorry for Rapidash ; he pushed her way beyond her limits and then wouldn 't let her rest or eat . I truly think that Ethan , in his madness , is going to end up killing one of his own Pokemon . I just wonder if it would be an accident or on purpose . I also wonder which one would end up paying the ultimate price . The characterization of Dorian and Shelton was nice to see . It 's really amusing to see their interactions with each other . The part where Shelton fell head over heels for a mere electrician and Dorian 's reaction was especially hilarious . " [ C ] hucked " . Unless they spewed them at him . Which . . . ew . The Graveler threw the rocks they were holding , each handful tripling in size as they raced towards their target . I was curious about this . Is it a Graveler power , to increase the size of the rocks ? Or was it just describing the change in Nuzleaf 's percerption of them as they got closer to him ? You 're going to get REAL TIRED , REAL FAST of me talking about the Pokeflect , but to me , it 's such a fascinating concept . Would the Pokeflect work if given TO a pokemon ? If not , why not just give them some ? I can imagine that in battle they 'd be barred , but for just journeying around ? Hell , I 'd give my Pokemon at least one ! It would make them indestructible to random acts like this . It was just then that Shuppet wailed , the noise resonating in his eardrums like a nearby foghorn . Wow , obscure reference for the win . When I first read that , I thought " What , like the cartoon rooster ? " I can just see Shuppet saying " Why , I say , son , I say . . . ! " As Dorian rolled to a stop , he shouted , " Growlithe , use flamethrower ! Shuppet , shadow ball ! " The attacks merged together as they hit their target , Growlithe 's flames turning a sickly shade of black and grey . Also , very creative . Combining attacks to make a multi - purpose kind of blast . Very well - done creatively . I can imagine only about a thousand uses for such a concept . Judging from their shattered flesh they had died from the demolition charges that the road crew had planted . I 'm telling you , this entire story could be about the Pokeflect , and I 'd be happy . What a wonderful toy . - I have to say , I 'm obviously not happy that Golduck had to die , but it almost had to happen . Golduck had , to this point and ESPECIALLY in this chapter , proven to be way too powerful . Not that he shouldn 't have been , but it had me thinking " What can really stand up to this thing ? " So it makes sense he had to sacrifice himself . I 'm guessing some of the humor is going to fade out now , at least on some scale . Dorian probably won 't be so headstrong and fun - loving now that he 's seen someone so close to him perish . Which is kind of a shame , but I 'll see where you go from here . Serebii FanFiction 2014 Awards Posts 979 Hi ! I 'm new to this fic and as such have only read through chapter one , but I 'm totally hooked . The Pokeflect is a nice touch , sounding like a very real invention that totally would be needed as technology increases . I like the world you 've created , and I 'm intrigued as to how the Granite Cave boy will connect with Dorian . I also really enjoy his Trapinch 's gradual shift to evolution . It 's a neat touch . ^ This is my new fanfic . It 's a work in progress , so please read and comment at your discretion . I hope you like it . I think you will . Oof . This made me wince . Good description . " He 's dead Shelton , " Dorian said . " I saw , s - saw the energy discharge from his head right before the rock Pokemon hit him . He couldn 't have survived it . I mean , I saw it swallow his body . " Okay , I was curious as to why Golduck just . . . exploded earlier . Not saying that it wasn 't well - written to end chapter six , but I thought the Gravelers had exploded IT . This way makes more sense ; I had just misunderstood , I guess . Shelton backed up several paces , her hands hooking into claws . Golduck couldn 't be dead ! He wouldn 't leave her , not like this , not ever . She drug her hands across her scalp , trying in vain to tear the thought away . She looked around , studying the scene before her . Tears came faster when she saw Machop 's body , pitching her into even more despair . His frail frame was broken , his legs bent into odd angles . She rushed forward , only to stop in place . Golduck and Machop , both of them were hurt . Shelton knew Golduck wasn 't dead ; it wasn 't even something she could comprehend . She was stuck in place , unable to decide what to do . She wanted to climb out of the crater and find Golduck , but at the same time she couldn 't just leave Machop . Indecision rooted her , turned her into molasses . Time slowed , her thoughts became even more muddled . Machop or Golduck , Machop or Golduck ? This shocked me out of the story because , to my knowledge , the narration had not previously been attached to Shelton . Yet , all of the sudden , here it was , and the reader was inside her head instead of Dorian 's . I might have missed the narration being inside everyone 's head earlier , but I thought it was exclusive to Dorian ( except with Ethan and Alakazam were " on - screen " ) . Dorian knew she was capable of a complete mental breakdown and that she was well on her way . Oh ? What is this tasty morsel ? Foreshadowing AND character development ? Me likey . The duck Pokemon was firmly embedded in the rock wall in front of Dorian . His tongue hung limp out of his open bill , saliva dripping down to pool on the ground below . Golduck 's lifeless pupils were dilated to the extreme , speaking volumes of the inactivity behind them . As Dorian kept looking up , he saw that the small jewel in Golduck 's forehead had shattered , leaving a gaping hole . Lavender psychic energy drifted lazily out of the gap in his skull , forming a bubble above Golduck 's head . Regardless of Dorian 's intentions , the red beam continued forward , striking the sapphire avian in the sternum . Golduck 's body morphed into solid energy and returned to his Pokeball . Dorian stared at the red and ivory ball in his hand , a few tears rolling sideways off of its glossy surface . Or maybe not . - I 'm not sure what I think about Golduck possibly being alive . In chapter 6 I thought Golduck was overpowered and that was before I realize he caused that explosion . . . and was able to survive it . I 'm not sure at this point what could possibly threaten these two characters with this Golduck on their team ( except , possibly an even more powerful psychic type , and GEE WHERE MIGHT THEY ENCOUNTER ONE OF THOSE ? ) - I like the notion of Machop 's body basically forcing an evolution as a means of survival . It makes even more sense why you 've chosen to display evolution the way you had previously now . Very foresightful of you . It was quite a unique desperation tactic by Machop 's body , though . I wonder just how common this may or may not be . Hm . - You know what ? I haven 't missed Ethan at all . I have adored the chapters recently without him . I don 't mean to say that he wasn 't interesting , but it was a joy to read all the Graveler stuff without interruption .
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I 'm very tired as I do this at the moment , and I gotta say , the sudden action woke me up already . Cool way to get back into the action that was present before Ethan 's chapter , especially now that there 's an interesting comparison ( before , they were fighting enemies , and now , they 're fighting each other ) . The two had been sparing for the better part of an hour , both being pushed to the edge of their physical limits as they struggled to best one another . I 'd also put a comma instead of a semi - colon . From what I 've learned , the sentence before and after the semi - colon should be able to be a standalone sentence . But the sentence after the semi - colon here can 't be by itself and still make sense . Nuzleaf climbed onto her lap and looked up at her with his wide eyes , cupping her face softly in his hands as he looked at her . She smiled down at him , touched by the Pokemon 's gesture of affection . Reaching down , she scratched a spot at the small of Nuzleaf 's back , dragging her sharp nails across his wooden body . The sound the nails made as they moved always gave her goose bumps , but Nuzleaf loved it and immediately hugged her close , burying his face in her hair . D ' awwwww , have I ever mentioned how much I love the pokémon Nuzleaf ? This is an adorable image . I 'm going to go be a typical squeeing fangirl now . The once bright sapphire duck 's feathers were now a muted shade of blue , signaling the stress that it had exposed to . Anyway , I agree with Glover when he says that this was a nice conclusion to the Graveler incident . The part I liked the most was going back and forth between Shelton 's grieving over Golduck and the spar between Dorian and Nuzleaf . To me , it was as if the Graveler fight was still happening , in a sense . The fighting spirit and suspense was still entirely present , and you portrayed the idea that all of them were still fighting ( both literally and figuratively ) to live and / or move on with their lives even though there was no real danger present anymore . It makes me reflect on the idea that everyone is always fighting every moment of every day , pretty much . I hope that makes sense . It 's not something I can easily put into words , but it was a good feeling nonetheless . Also , I thought that Dorian and Shelton were a couple ? Am I wrong ? Shelton kissing the technician on the cheek and mentioning falling in love with him seemed odd to me for this reason , and also because she was just unbelievably angry and bitter moments before she did such a thing . I guess it 's understandable that her emotions would be going crazy at the moment , and it was cute nonetheless , but still , it left me wondering about Dorian . Overall , the chapter felt complete and full of emotions , just as the conclusion of such a horrific event should feel . The only thing I might have added was Shelton reflecting on Golduck 's possible feelings of losing his psychic power . Does he value it ? Does Shelton think it won 't effect him ? I mention this because Golduck 's personality wasn 't revealed enough for us readers to know yet ( though I may have just forgotten , in which case , feel free to ignore me ) , but I expect that you 'll be showing the aftereffects soon enough , and you 'll have us as readers wishing we had known him more before the incident as well ( which isn 't a bad thing - I would find that kind of interesting , actually ) . Keep up the good work ~ Anyway , my ramblings aside , this a was a wonderful closure piece to the graveler scene , Although I find it a bit odd that Mr . Thompson didn 't arrange an automated pressure release . The way the spike sounds , it 's like something that must be manually drained . My dad was ona Colostomy bag , such things as manual body drains are not fun . Surely there 's a way to rig a one - way valve , or maybe that 's just not in Viridian 's reprritoire . That 's correct . I see what you 're saying , but for some reason this sounded a little bit better for me . The idea came from the movie ' Three Kings ' . Mark Wahlberg 's character gets shot in the lung at one point , and when his friends have to install this release valve for building air pressure in the lung . Occasionly he has to turn the valve to release the stored pressure , aloowing him to breathe . Ah well thanks ! The bit with the ICU and Golduck 's explanation was actually something I tried really hard on , so I 'm glad you noticed . And yeah , the whole Nurse Joy wonderful attitude happy go lucky thing never really went over well with me . I felt like this was much more realistic , glad you think so too That was something that I wasn 't really sure about . I hoped it would go over well , so I 'm glad you commented on it . I felt like it would be a good way to transition from what was happening right then , while also giving a backstory on the events that happened after the Graveler attack . One thing , you use the phrase " knocking him sprawling " once . I can ; t find anything wrong with it , it 's just a little bit odd to me . Maybe I 'm just used to hearing " Sending him sprawling " which is the exact same thing , just sounds different . I don 't know . Maybe it 's another regional thing . I see what you 're saying . I went back and looked , and I feel like they both work . I 'm going to keep it the way it is , but thanks for bringing it to my attention . Anyway , I agree with Glover when he says that this was a nice conclusion to the Graveler incident . The part I liked the most was going back and forth between Shelton 's grieving over Golduck and the spar between Dorian and Nuzleaf . To me , it was as if the Graveler fight was still happening , in a sense . The fighting spirit and suspense was still entirely present , and you portrayed the idea that all of them were still fighting ( both literally and figuratively ) to live and / or move on with their lives even though there was no real danger present anymore . It makes me reflect on the idea that everyone is always fighting every moment of every day , pretty much . I hope that makes sense . It 's not something I can easily put into words , but it was a good feeling nonetheless . Once again , that was exactly what I was shooting for . I 've always found the relation between emotional / physical trauma and future actions . Back in my wasteful youth days , I got into a fist fight with a few guys and got beat up . It was so loud , and intense , and I had never been in a fight before so it somewhat affected for a few days after that . I 'd hear a loud noise and tense up , like I was expecting it to happen all over again . So I kinda of drew heavily on that for this chapter , if that makes sense . None of them are going to be okay for awhile I think , but you 're right , we fight battles everyday , luckily though its not against hordes of furios rock Pokemon . I won 't deny that if I read this story and wasn 't the writer , I would say they have some obvious chemistry , but no , they 're not together . I mentioned in a few chapters that they 're just roomates , and they have been for a very long time . I 'm actually touching on their back stories some more in the next chapter , and it should firm up their motives and feelings for each other a little more clearly . The only thing I might have added was Shelton reflecting on Golduck 's possible feelings of losing his psychic power . Does he value it ? Does Shelton think it won 't effect him ? That 's going to be gone into before , and after Golduck is healed up and released . I think she was just so relieved that she was close to him again and that he was okay , that she kinda bypassed thinking about the long term ramifications of the loss of that ability . That 's going to be expanded on greatly eventually . It 's going to be alot for him to deal with , and for her as well . Thanks for reviewing once again ! The premise is very interesting ; a young couple delivering a priceless artifact for much needed money and an unbalanced man who will make every effort to stop them . However , I find all of their motives to be compelling , even the antagonist - at least , the person who you 're setting up to be the antagonist . Dorian and Shelton are two young people trying to pay off their bills and care for their Pokemon . Dorian obviously has a dream to be a strong trainer , while Shelton 's motives are a little more unclear ( although I would think that getting married would be one of them ) . Meanwhile , Ethan grew up alone and friendless aside from his Abra / Alakazam . He 's desperate for the voices to stay in his head because they 've been friendly to him . I actually pity him ; he doesn 't know that they might turn on him in an instant . It took three chapters to build up steam , but when the action started . . . I have to admit that I was very impressed . The stress of Dorian and Shelton in the immediate aftermath of the Graveler attack is strikingly realistic , and their emotions plucked at my heartstrings . I could feel their shock , pain , anger , and sadness as if it were my own . I honestly don 't think that you could have done any better than you did . My favorite character right now has to be Alakazam . He 's shown the most personality so far out of all of the Pokemon , and while I like all of the human characters , I feel a certain connection to Alakazam . He 's definitely a wildcard in all of this . When it comes down to it , will he stay loyal to the trainer and friend he 's known since he was an Abra or will he go with his morals and try to save the innocent couple ? What a fascinating dilemma . . . Anyway , the plot looks rather sound as well . Like I said , it started out slow at first , but once Dorian and Shelton set out to Pewter , it picked up its pace . It hasn 't slowed down yet , and it has kept my interest at a high level , which is always a good thing when it comes to the average fickle reader . Before I say anything else , I want to correct the bolded parts . The bolded comma is unnecessary and needs to be taken out , and an " s " needs to be added to the end of the word " move " . The apostrophe you used in the second sentence is a typo ; you want quotation marks at the end . However , that 's not what concerned me . Why capitalize " Reflect " and " Light Screen " if you 're not going to capitalize any other Pokemon move ? An element of consistency is needed . You might want to put " Reflect " and " Light Screen " in lower - case , since every other Pokemon move is in lower - case . Commas should be in between each of the two bolded words . Commas should be used whenever there 's a pause in a sentence . The full - stop ( period ) should be a comma , as was said by other readers before me . Like they said , a comma should be used in a spoken sentence , while full - stops can be used if the person is using an action ( for example , Dorian winking at the Growlithe in a previous sentence ) . Going back and correcting that error would be nice . You mispelled Shelton 's name . Just a minor typo that I thought I 'd point out . " That 's great Dorian , I 'm glad that when we get tossed to the street we 'll have a nice warm Growlithe to live in . " she said , rolling her eyes and turning to Nuzleaf . " You hungry sweetheart ? " The period should be replaced with a comma , but that 's not what I wanted to mention . Whenever a character is speaking to someone and addressing them directly , you need to use a comma before or after their name or the title they 're being addressed as , depending on where the word is placed . Basically , since Shelton is addressing Dorian , you need to put a comma between the word " great " and his name . Same with Nuzleaf . Since she 's addressing him as " sweetheart " , you need to place a comma between the two bolded words . The whispers had led him to a cave in the recent months , in the sand swept plains of the desert in Hoenn . The cave bearing another flake he took into himself . The cave he found near Route 111 however had something extra . A shard of stone from the enormous tablet he had seen in Granite Cave years ago . People the man walked past throughout the day forgot him as soon as he passed . A somewhat average looking man with long , wavy tan hair , an Alakazam keeping stride to his right . " The whispers had recently led him to a cave in the sand swept plains of the desert in Hoenn . It had contained another flake , which he had took into himself . However , the cave he found near Route 111 had something else : a shard of stone from the enormous tablet he had seen in Granite Cave years ago . The people that the man walked past throughout the day forgot him as soon as he passed . Even with the Alakazam keeping stride to his right , he was an average - looking man with long , wavy tan hair being the only other physical attribute of note . " I don 't have a problem with your characters so far , but the personalities of the Pokemon could use a bit more description . Show them as themselves . You 've done that with Nuzleaf and Alakazam . Why not show the rest ? Just a thought . You 're the second person to think that Dorian and Shelton are a couple . I tried my best to describe how close they were , and if some people think they 're together , I guess I did just that . But no , they are not a couple . Alot more of their backstory will be revealed in the next chapter . Which should help to put that theory to rest . They 've known each other for a VERY long time , and the closeness of their relationship is just a result of the sibling like love they have for each other . It took three chapters to build up steam , but when the action started . . . I have to admit that I was very impressed . The stress of Dorian and Shelton in the immediate aftermath of the Graveler attack is strikingly realistic , and their emotions plucked at my heartstrings . I could feel their shock , pain , anger , and sadness as if it were my own . I honestly don 't think that you could have done any better than you did . I 'm glad you noticed . It was one part that I tried really hard on . I 'm glad its gone over so well with so many people . Thanks ! ^^ My favorite character right now has to be Alakazam . He 's shown the most personality so far out of all of the Pokemon , and while I like all of the human characters , I feel a certain connection to Alakazam . He 's definitely a wildcard in all of this . When it comes down to it , will he stay loyal to the trainer and friend he 's known since he was an Abra or will he go with his morals and try to save the innocent couple ? What a fascinating dilemma . . . I don 't have a problem with your characters so far , but the personalities of the Pokemon could use a bit more description . Show them as themselves . You 've done that with Nuzleaf and Alakazam . Why not show the rest ? Just a thought . You 're completely right . Right before I saw your review , I told myself the exact same thing . They are all an integral part of the story , and I 'm not doing right by them if I dont expand on them more . In the coming chapters , you 'll see alot more of their personalities . Shall I add you to the PM list then ? And thanks very much for the review . I really appreciate it as you pointed out some things that I know could use some polishing . To everyone else reading / reviewing , the new chapter should be out by Monday night . - I 'm wondering why the boy didn 't feel connected to his adoptive parents . I get that they aren 't his real birth parents , but I wonder why he seems so . . . mad about them . They certainly seem nice . Is the boy going through a rebellious time ? I 'm stuck with this question , and I hope it gets delved into . SLAM ! I 'm not a particularly big fan of sound - effects in prose , but to each their own . I get that it 's a preference thing . the soft skin on his arms tearing easily on the ground as he rolled to a stop . OW . Good image , though . It actually makes me wince when I read it . Excellent work , that . Abra limped towards his master , favoring his left leg . The psychic pokemon 's right leg bore a long gash up the side of its thigh , Usually when someone is " favoring " a leg , that means they are protecting it because it 's the weaker or injured one . So does Abra have two major leg injuries ? Because if I had a long gash on one leg , I might be favoring that , but if the left leg has bone / tendon damage , that would result in favoring it no matter what wound the right leg has . I guess I was just confused here is all . As the boy and his Abra looked in wonder at the strange object , a small stony flake , glistening slightly in the oily light of the conjured orb , began to skitter across the top of the altar , seemingly of its own accord . As the boy and his pokemon noticed the flake , they stiffened , perceiving a new threat . A little unwieldy starting two consecutive sentence with the same lines " As the boy and his . . . " . OVERALL : Very interesting beginning . What the heck kind of serrated blade is so powerful that it cuts through large stone tablets ? I 'd be scared as heck at the thought of that if I were in Boy 's shoes . And I desperately hope we see more of Boy because I really want his backstory with the adoptive parents . Okay , this is a good idea . How haven 't more people been injured by Pokemon ? Because of this device ! I 'm only 2 lines in here , and I very much want to know more about this thing . I think you could make a whole story around this device , actually . Does it protect against , say , a Scyther 's claws ? And if so , would you protect someone from ANY kind of blade ? Or ANY kind of fire ? I have a feeling I might just be digressing , though . " bullet seed ! ' Dorian roared . I 'm actually NOT going to say you need to capitalize the names of moves ( because I don 't , either generally , but you should capitalize the beginning of a sentence . No sooner had he given the command , the Growlithe righted itself and charged his Nuzleaf , orange flame licking the pits of its nostrils . The grass type followed behind , purpose written across its scarred face ; it jumped and landed on top of the Growlithe , using both legs to pin down the pup . I like those . Nice description there . - Okay , I read that one section a few times , and I can 't , for the life of me , figure out what the violet energy that picked up and flipped over Dorian was . Can you explain ? I 'm assuming it was some kind of psychic attack , but was it from Golduck ? Or even Shelton ? What was it ? - Aaannnddd . . . okay , Boy did not grow up to be Dorian . That makes sense , I guess . Boy is going to be . . . the villain of the story ? Maybe ? Way too early to conjecture on that , I suppose . Definitely intrigued by him , though . - I 'm wondering why the boy didn 't feel connected to his adoptive parents . I get that they aren 't his real birth parents , but I wonder why he seems so . . . mad about them . They certainly seem nice . Is the boy going through a rebellious time ? I 'm stuck with this question , and I hope it gets delved into . Usually when someone is " favoring " a leg , that means they are protecting it because it 's the weaker or injured one . So does Abra have two major leg injuries ? Because if I had a long gash on one leg , I might be favoring that , but if the left leg has bone / tendon damage , that would result in favoring it no matter what wound the right leg has . I guess I was just confused here is all . I see what you 're saying . I 'll have to check on that , because my understanding of ' favoring ' , is that you are doing more with that limb than another because the other is somewhat incapacitated . You 're favoring the one that 's in good condition . I 'll check on that to be sure , and If it needs to be changed I 'll do so . Thanks for bringing it to my attention . OVERALL : Very interesting beginning . What the heck kind of serrated blade is so powerful that it cuts through large stone tablets ? I 'd be scared as heck at the thought of that if I were in Boy 's shoes . And I desperately hope we see more of Boy because I really want his backstory with the adoptive parents Anyhoo , I 've noticed you hadn 't named the latest two chapters . Any reasoning for that ? Wait . . . * looks back * Oh durr , you haven 't been using names at all . Your " cause " , " effect " , and " aftermath " caused me to believe that . And now that I think about it , I don 't think they were needed at all . We would 've figured out what the chapter was about without that little reminder . Now to the two chapters I missed . I pity Ethan . He 's going through so much pain to gather up these flakes , and yet these voices keep up this ruse of being friendly to him , and showing gratitude for saving them . Alakazam can see through this , but because of his loyalty to Ethan , he has to do as he says , even though it hurts him more . Man , that 's dark . You really were convincing us Golduck wasn 't going to make it , and the somber piano music I 'm currently playing makes that hurt a lot ( because the song 's just that effective ) . Still , I am happy he 's alive , even though he 's going to be a changed duck from now on . I like the explanations the doctor gave about the gem . Something tells me you did some research a bit before writing that , or at least know a little bit about the brain ( well , biology in general ) , because that 's really impressive . Posts 1 , 116 " I 'm instituting a new rule , " Shelton began , crossing her legs and leaning forward . " From now on , all your decision making privileges have been revoked . Other than involuntary bodily functions you have to perform in order to survive , I want you on the sofa , sitting on your hands at all times . " I 'm curious as to the relationship here . Are they roommates ? Siblings ? Parent and child ? Lovers ? I 'm sure I 'll get it eventually , but I 'm kind of lost on it so far . After a pensive look , Dorian said , " I request the right to argue for a lower amount after I 've thought of a good enough excuse . " I like that . It 's like a good sitcom line . " Machop is under the house again , " she answered . " We were out back pulling weeds , when that soulless Sunflora popped out and started terrorizing him again . Shuppet is in her usual spot " I like this , too , as it really makes them feel like pets ( which I 'm sure you 've realized from my fic is how I more - or - less picture pokemon ) . A Machop getting harassed by an angry Sunflora . . . that really is kind of striking . I can see the Sunflora yipping at it when I recreate the scene in my head . Kind of a " show , don 't tell " problem here : I 'd rather the story display to me that he 's a genius than the narration say it outright . " How you doing , hotshot ? " his uncle asked . " Still driving the girls crazy ? " I would MAYBE have liked a BIT more set - up here , but as it stands , it seems like an amazingly unlikely coincidence . This guy literally trips over an ancient artifact , and then 5 minutes later his scientist uncle calls him and says he 's looking for it ? That 's one - in - a - trillion or so . The wall whimpered in protest , trying to hold its shape , struggling to retain the only purpose it ever had . With a groan , the wall slid forward into a pile of rubble at the Rhydon 's outsized feet Okay , I love all that . The man didn 't know where they were going next , but he knew that the next time he slept , he would be told . He was always told where to go and how to better himself and his Pokemon . The voices would whisper to him in his dreams , guiding him towards additional power , guiding him to more knowledge , and eventually , guiding him to his destiny Good ending there . What kind of " power " is he getting from these things ? He still seems ordinary , what with Alakazam having to save his life . So what are they doing to them ? I 'm sensing an eventual face turn from Alakazam , too , where he betrays his trainer and works to save him from what the flakes are doing to him . Anyhoo , I 've noticed you hadn 't named the latest two chapters . Any reasoning for that ? Wait . . . * looks back * Oh durr , you haven 't been using names at all . Your " cause " , " effect " , and " aftermath " caused me to believe that . And now that I think about it , I don 't think they were needed at all . We would 've figured out what the chapter was about without that little reminder . I see what you 're saying . I named those chapters because of the seriousness of the situations they faced . I think if I 'm going to names the chapters , I should be more consistent , as to avoid confusion . I think I 'm going to leave them the way that they are , but thanks for pointing that out . I pity Ethan . He 's going through so much pain to gather up these flakes , and yet these voices keep up this ruse of being friendly to him , and showing gratitude for saving them . Alakazam can see through this , but because of his loyalty to Ethan , he has to do as he says , even though it hurts him more . Man , that 's dark . You really were convincing us Golduck wasn 't going to make it , and the somber piano music I 'm currently playing makes that hurt a lot ( because the song 's just that effective ) . Still , I am happy he 's alive , even though he 's going to be a changed duck from now on . I like the explanations the doctor gave about the gem . Something tells me you did some research a bit before writing that , or at least know a little bit about the brain ( well , biology in general ) , because that 's really impressive . I flirted with the idea of letting him die for a long time . With that music you had playing , I can see how it may have worked haha . I have had some schooling when it comes to biology , but most of my explanation with Golduck 's brain / physiology is just stuff I made up . I 've always loved Psyduck and Golduck , so over the years I 've come up with alot of theories with how their mental prowess works . Thanks ! I 'm curious as to the relationship here . Are they roommates ? Siblings ? Parent and child ? Lovers ? I 'm sure I 'll get it eventually , but I 'm kind of lost on it so far . I mentioned once or twice before that line that they were roomates . Looking back at later chapters , I can see how their relationship would be confusing . Dorian is extremely impulsive , wereas Shelton is calculated and responsible . She acts like a parent towards him alot of the time , which is the main reason she 's so cross towards him sometimes . I like this , too , as it really makes them feel like pets ( which I 'm sure you 've realized from my fic is how I more - or - less picture pokemon ) . A Machop getting harassed by an angry Sunflora . . . that really is kind of striking . I can see the Sunflora yipping at it when I recreate the scene in my head . I would MAYBE have liked a BIT more set - up here , but as it stands , it seems like an amazingly unlikely coincidence . This guy literally trips over an ancient artifact , and then 5 minutes later his scientist uncle calls him and says he 's looking for it ? That 's one - in - a - trillion or so . Lol , it is unlikely . The reasoning behind that will become clear later on Good ending there . What kind of " power " is he getting from these things ? He still seems ordinary , what with Alakazam having to save his life . So what are they doing to them ? I 'm sensing an eventual face turn from Alakazam , too , where he betrays his trainer and works to save him from what the flakes are doing to him That will be revealed with some of the chapters I 've posted . Alakazam is in a complicated place . Even when he was an Abra so many years ago , he knew that Ethan should not get involved , but couldn 't stop him . Now that he 's grown and matured , he may end up being able to express himself to Ethan better . I hope so at least I figure you mean " body slam " in that he unintentionally rammed his body into them , but initially read it as " like when Hulk Hogan picked up and slammed Andre The Giant " and was very perplexed as to why the hell he would do that ? I guess he DOES owe that Golduck . LOL . Not a mistake on your part , but my pop - culture ensoaked brain gave me a tremendously funny visual . Thanks for that ! Kind of a silly moment since we haven 't seen this side of Shelton at all . But again . . . I LOL ' ed . " Let 's do it ! " Dorian announced . " Strap on the nitro ! " " No . That catch phrase is never going to catch on . Besides that , its barely a catch phrase . Its just random words that have nothing to do with our current situation . " - I like the quick , zippy dialogue here , because I usually write a lot of that ( my fic hasn 't given me much of a chance yet , but que sera sera ) . I really like two characters going back - and - forth in a rapid succession . SOME of the lines there seemed a little forced ( the " Last word freak " one stuck out to me ) , but by - and - large , it was a lot of fun to read . I enjoyed that part a lot . - It 's good seeing the plot develop here , and I like the irony that Dorian is leaving Johto for Kanto while Ethan is doing the opposite . Good job removing both characters from their element . I look forward to getting to chapter 4 tomorrow . " Shut it . Just because you had one good idea does not mean that I have a higher opinion of you . Besides , you still owe me for rent , " Shelton snarled . Dorian ducked out of her reach and walked a bit faster , muttering curses under his breath . The walk through Viridian Forest had only taken about two hours , and thankfully , it had been without incident . The woods were serene and silent , their colors exclaiming vibrant hues of gold , orange , and red . As Dorian and Shelton approached the borders of Pewter City , he whipped out his phone and called his uncle , bracing himself for his naturally booming voice . A tone sounded three times in rapid succession , signaling that his uncle had ignored his call . Confused , Dorian dialed again , only to be greeted by the same high pitched beeps . It was odd his uncle wasn 't answering , as he was probably expecting them by now . As they strode past the main entrance to the city , Dorian looked to the northeast and caught the familiar sight of the red roof of Ronnie 's house . Allowing himself a small smile , he looked over to Nuzleaf and Shelton , only to find them wearing the same expression . Ronnie would make their recent misfortune worthwhile ; he would put them back into their usual mindset . His uncle always exuded a sense of calm and jovial happiness , and had always done his best to make him and Shelton feel welcome and comfortable ; it was an unspoken promise he had kept ever since he started raising them . Ethan tightened his grip on Rapidash 's neck as he started to slip to the left . Just as he did however , he felt a gentle force press his body back into an upright position . Looking backwards , he saw a faint violet aura around his Alakazam . He noticed a similar aura taking shape around his own legs and waist ; obviously Alakazam 's attempt to keep them both level on the galloping horse . The group blew through the entrance to Viridian City like a tornado , sending people in their way dashing to the left and right for safety . A small line of flames traced a path behind them , the result of the drying grass being exposed to Rapidash 's intense heat . People to the east and west of the city looking their direction were only able to make out a shining streak of yellow and orange , racing through the northern exit of the city like a meteorite . Ethan stared straight ahead , not noticing or caring for the sharp yells of the people they passed . Ethan was on the path to his destiny , on the road towards two hooligans that had stolen something very precious from him . He would take back the shard from them of course , that was just a byproduct of the vengeance that was about to be released . Besides their crime of thievery , they had threatened the voices , and for that they would be punished . He knew that they probably didn 't know what they had done , but it didn 't matter . Ignorance does not excuse a crime , and this was an offense that would not be forgiven . He felt Alakazam flinch behind him as the words crossed his mind ; having no doubt that the psychic type had heard . Unfazed , Ethan used his heels to spurn Rapidash faster , his body starting to almost vibrate with eagerness . The forest they were traveling through morphed into a ring of brown and black as they sped up , Ethan 's eyes unable to focus due to the wind howling into them . He knew that Rapidash was already pushed to the edge of her abilities , but he dug his heels into her harder ; fire in his eyes and murder in his heart . They were standing about twenty feet from Ronnie 's front porch , stopped dead in their tracks by a withering mass of sparking electrical cables . The strands of thick plastic danced around about in a chaotic fashion , loud snaps ringing out as they discharged electricity . A crew of four men formed a square around the cables , waving their hands in warning as people walked by . They were all wearing identical blue jumpsuits with snowy white hardhats , their apparel streaked with layers of grime and sweat . The one closest to them saw them approaching and quickly trotted over , his hand fixed on the top of his head to keep his hard hat from bouncing off . " Sorry folk 's , but that 's as close as ya 'll are gonna get , " the man said , his vowels long and prominent . The man 's brow was drenched in sweat , which transitioned to his almost shoulder length hair that was of the same wet persuasion . A scraggly three - day growth of a beard was visible against intense hazel eyes . As he came to a stop in front of them , Dorian noticed two things . First , that the man was tanned and muscularly toned like that of a chiseled statue ; the second thing was that Shelton was salivating like a hungry Houndoom . " Pleased to meet you , James , " Shelton grinned , her voice giggling as she said his name . " You ain 't from Pewter , are you ? " James asked . Dorian watched the scene before him unfold in disgust , completely unaccustomed to Shelton 's blatant flirting . She was swooning over this man with no regard to what she looked like ; which to Dorian was akin to her asking for a three course dinner at a hardware store . Spying two children kicking a ball past them , Dorian took the opportunity to put Shelton out of her misery . " Oh come on , " Shelton replied . " Seriously Dorian , every woman between twelve and ninety - five with a pulse would think he 's hot . " " Did you just come up with that , or is that saying something you 've heard somewhere before ? " " You 're both morons , " Shelton moaned , clearly exasperated by the conversation . Just as Shelton was about to expand on her point , Dorian felt his phone vibrate in his pocket . Flipping his phone open , he said , " You better have a good reason for ignoring my call , I feel almost violated . " " It 's actually kind of complicated . I 'm leaving the museum , but I 'm under a sort of academic house arrest . The director gave the order to send the excavation team out a few days earlier than expected , which forced me to tell him about your discovery . " " To say the least . He was angry at first that I kept this from him , but his mood quickly changed as he realized that the find could save the museum a lot of money . The pictures you sent me sufficed for the moment , but he 's asked me to get the marker from you and bring it to him . " " Don 't worry about it , " Ronnie replied . " I 'm already on my way to the house , so I 'll just grab it when I get there . There 's still a composition test I want to do before I present it . " He looked over to Nuzleaf and Shelton to tell them what Ronnie said , but stopped when he noticed what appeared to be a fire near the southern entrance of the city . Squinting , he saw the fire flare brighter for a second , then vanish completely in a flash of red light . After deciding that it was probably just some random trainer battle , he turned back to his roommate . Ethan quickly dismounted his Rapidash as she trotted to a stop . They were situated at the outskirts of Pewter , only a stone 's throw away from the southern gate . He quickly looked around for his Scyther , dry grass crunching loudly beneath his boots . Confident that his Scyther would arrive momentarily , Ethan turned back to examine the city . A red shingled Pokemon Center sat up the right , while farther back and to the left resided an almost depressed looking market ; its blue roof cracked and weathered with age . Houses were strewn across the city like random fallen raindrops , with no order or discernible pattern to their placement . Slabs of rock decorated the ground every few hundred feet , some no bigger than basketballs , while others were as large as cars ; a testament to the city 's rocky beginning . Ethan hated all of it ; it was so , unorganized . There weren 't even clear paths for people to walk on , instead there were just random trails of stomped grass crisscrossing in every direction . This poor excuse of a city was nothing compared to his home in Saffron , where manicured lawns and glass high - rises reigned supreme . Ethan would deal with this situation quickly and get back home ; back to a place with proper people and actual order . There was a rustling of limbs , and a shadow appeared between the nearest trees . Scyther forced herself through the tight overgrowth , making an effort to keep her left arm hidden behind her back . Her eyes lit up as she saw her master , and shuffled over to stand next to Alakazam . Before she took a step however , Ethan quickly jumped forward and grabbed her left arm , twisting it roughly towards himself . The sword that made up his Pokemon 's lower arm had been burned severely , turning her dark green color a putrid black . Scyther looked back at him guiltily , trying to wrench her arm out of his grasp . " What happened ? " Ethan hissed . " Saisa , " she moaned as his grip tightened . " Stop , " Ethan ordered . " It serves you right . Slicing electrical cables is something a Beedrill would do , not you . Did I not express how important this was ? What were you thinking ? " " You 're not getting off that easy , " Ethan replied , clamping down on her arm so hard that his hand began to cramp . " Scyther ! " she yelled , tearing her arm from his gasp . Her sword came loose quickly , though not before it tore a pencil width gash across his wrist . She held her arm to her chest , trying her best to look apologetic ; which was something she rarely succeeded at , owing to the fact that she was never sorry about anything . " This is important , and there is no room for error , " Ethan informed the frightened bug . Wincing , he flexed his right arm and closed his eyes in an effort to center himself . After a moment , he opened them again to see the wound on his wrist healing , black smoke drifting out of the hole . Moments later , the cut was gone , leaving no trace that it had ever happened . " Saisai , " Scyther explained , pointing with her uninjured arm back through the trees . Fuming with more anger than he had before he got to town , Ethan followed his Scyther into the dense forest , trying his best not to make any noise . Alakazam followed behind , doing rapid multiplication in his head to occupy his mind . The trio quickly made their way across the town , keeping far enough into the forest that they couldn 't be seen . After a few minutes , Scyther halted , staring at a house about a hundred yards away . They were there , in all their thieving glory . A red mist came over Ethan and he started forward , his hands shaking with rage . Alakazam grabbed him right before he got out of reach , causing him to turn around . The psychic Pokemon pointed towards the group Ethan was walking towards , motioning at the numerous other people that were walking nearby . Ethan took a breath to calm himself . His Alakazam was right ; it was far too crowded to risk any sort of unprovoked attack . With slow and deliberate steps , Ethan pushed himself through the woods to peek around the last tree that separated the two groups . As he came to the edge of the trees , the shard in his pocket began to vibrate . Shaking his head , he returned back to the game he and Nuzleaf were playing . The game was an amalgamation of different situations they 've been put through over the years , and they were still in the process of perfecting the rules . Basically , they faced each other about fifteen yards away from each other and stood completely still . One of them expanded a pokeball , and threw it at the other as hard as they could . You could aim for any area on the person you wished , but if you flinched or dodged out of the way , you earned yourself a penalty . Their current penalty was that the other person could give them a punch to the gut , without any sort of padding or protection whatsoever . To them it was a fair game , because if you showed courage , you usually took a pokeball to the skull , and if you showed cowardice , you were rewarded with a punch to the stomach . The only real way to win was for the other person to miss every time while remaining completely still . " Nunuz ! " Nuzleaf answered , his eyes squeezed tightly shut . The ball missed him by several feet , causing him to blow Dorian a raspberry and take off after it . A laugh to his left caused him to look over . Machoke was giggling slightly at Dorian 's failed attempt , his voice much deeper than it had been as a Machop . On one hand , Dorian was glad Machoke had calmed down enough to relax , as there had been a pretty stressful situation when he was released a few minutes ago . Dorian had been talking to Shelton as he and Nuzleaf lined up to play their game when she had decided to release Machoke for the first time since returning him right after he had evolved . The fighting Pokemon had materialized in a shower of white energy , standing almost as tall as Dorian in his new form . The only problem was , he had taken shape completely nude . As soon as Machoke 's eyes took in his new form and the area he was in , he quickly started crying and covering his lower body in embarrassment . Shelton had tried to calm him down , only to have her Pokemon start stomping the ground in angst , creating cracks in the road with his newfound brawn . Machoke had only calmed down once Dorian pulled out a pair of his own boxer briefs from his bag and handed them to him . Now , Machoke was seated on the ground next to Shelton , Dorian 's boxers being stretched to their limit by his bulging muscles . Shelton was sitting next to him , her head leaning against her Pokemon 's shoulder . She hadn 't stopped touching Machoke since he had emerged from his ball , convinced that something else would befall him if he wandered too far away from her . " It 's not as easy as you might think . So how about you mind your own busi - , " Dorian started , only to be cut off by a fiery glaze sent at him by Shelton . Just as Dorian turned back towards Nuzleaf , he paused , his back pocket was vibrating . It was odd though , as he distinctly remembered putting his phone in his front pocket . Shaking his head , he reached into his back pocket and pulled it out ; but it wasn 't his phone he had retrieved , it was the shard . It was pulsing lightly , almost like a gentle heartbeat . Dorian didn 't understand why the marker was moving . It didn 't have anything inside it , at least to the best of his knowledge it didn 't . " Why are you looking at that thing like that ? " Shelton asked . " You little bastard ! " Dorian yelled , bending down and picking up the ball . " I wasn 't paying attention ! That 's a free shot from ten feet ! " In a rage , Dorian darted forward , the pokeball in his right hand , the pulsing shard in his left . As he closed to about ten feet away , Dorian drew back and hurled the ball at Nuzleaf , its red surface gleaming . Nuzleaf barely ducked in time as the ball streaked towards him , causing it to miss him by several inches . The ball continued on its course , slicing through the air like a knife . As it connected with the hedge that circled Ronnie 's house , there was a loud squeal , a flash of white light , and a tiny snap as it closed itself back up . " I know what to do , " Dorian replied , walking over to the hedge . It took him a moment to dig through the thick foliage , but his hands found the trembling pokeball . Standing back up , he rolled it in his hand , his mind a mix of anticipation and confusion . With a loud ding , the return button of the ball blinked red rapidly , signaling a successful capture . Taking a quick breath , Dorian pressed the return button , opening the ball and spilling out its contents . A shape began to materialize on the ground in front of them , bathing their half circle in a bright white glow . Starting at the ground , a thick black tail in the winding shape of a coil appeared , followed by a sizeable , similarly colored tube - like stomach . Two stubby arms became visible next , followed by two rosy circles of fur underneath inky black eyes . By far the most distinguishing characteristic of the now fully formed Pokemon was a large pink pearl clamped tightly between its tiny ears . " Spoink ? " the Pokemon repeated , looking at Dorian like he was some sort of extraterrestrial . Its eyes drifted over the rest of the group , narrowing slightly when it came to the hulking form of Machoke . Coming back to Dorian , the Spoink spied the open pokeball clutched in Dorian 's right hand . Its eyes widened to the extreme , and its mouth dropped open . " Wai - , " Dorian started , only to stop short as he was yanked off the ground and thrown backwards through the air . Dorian 's vision blurred as he flew backwards , the world passing by him too quickly to focus . Just before the force carrying him dropped its hold , he managed to turn his head around to see where he was going to land . Dorian began flailing his arms wildly in vain , yelling through clenched teeth as his body came down on the twitching mass of sliced electrical cables in front of his uncle 's house . Pain , unimaginable pain , coursed through his body in torrents as the electricity surged across his flesh . Almost as soon as that one agonizing second commenced , it was over , and he pushed himself up off the ground . Shivering and covered with goose bumps , Dorian struggled to understand why the temperature had changed so dramatically . Remembering what he had fallen into , Dorian quickly leaped to the left , putting him out of the way of the cables . As he looked down to where he had just jumped from , he gasped . His body was still lying on the ground , twitching and contorting in agony as electricity billowed across it . He almost fainted on the spot as he looked at his body on the ground , his mind being torn in half by the paradox that was taking shape in front of him . He was standing to the side , he wasn 't still on the cables ; he had jumped , hadn 't he ? As he watched his body on the ground , he noticed two things . First , that his body on the ground was spasming far too slowly ; and looking up he could see Nuzleaf in the distance running towards his body on the ground , but he was moving slow as well , like he was stuck in slow motion . The second thing he noticed was that the blue electricity surging across his frame on the ground was all moving to one point , to the shard still clutched in his left hand . Dorian raised his left hand in his standing body and saw that the same shard was in that hand as well , the only difference being that it was glowing . How was it in both hands ? Despite the fact that he was having an out of body experience , that question kept forcing its way into his mind . How were they in both hands ? Just as he asked himself the question again , the black shard started pulsing . Harder and harder it pulsed , vibrating so hard that Dorian could barely hang on to it . He couldn 't understand the situation unfolding in front of him ; it was so far beyond the realm of his comprehension that all he could do was stare blankly at the softly glowing object . Well , almost all he could do . He figured out he could still scream ; which is exactly what he did when the shard wrapped itself around his left hand and yanked him into the sky . Posts 1 , 116 Woo ! " Filler chapter ! " Dorian and Shelton 's Pokemon were all out of their respective balls , clapping softly as Trapinch approached . Well , almost all of them . Considering the narrator is not a " character " ( at least has not been portrayed as such ) , it seems odd for the narrator to say something like " Well , almost all of them " . It sounds a bit too colloquial for an unquestioned narration . Do you know what I mean ? There 's nothing wrong with giving your narrator some flavor and personality , but it hasn 't had one to this point , so this threw me . " I was hoping that a win might finally make you evolve , " Dorian said . " It 's alright though . I know you 're as eager to get rid of those pains as I am . Maybe it 'll happen next time Trapinch began to growl loudly , tapping into the growing process that his kind was sometimes afforded . His skin suddenly transformed into sickly hues of yellow and green . His eyes began to bulge and turn a lustrous olive as his backbone began to stretch and wiggle trough the back of his thick hide . Crimson blood streamed down his sides as a pair of regal looking , rhombus shaped wings burst out from underneath his skin . Growling louder now , the bones in his face began to change shape , becoming thinner , narrower , becoming almost brittle in their lightness . As a pair of antenna burst out of Trapinch 's forehead , his new tail split in two , mirroring the shape and color of its new wings . Yeah , see . . . that was good . Very powerful visuals . I just would liked to have seen hints of the changes earlier . But still . . . very nice ! " Look kid , I 'm not in the mood to battle you , " Dorian said , his mood bypassing annoyance and going straight to exasperation . " I don 't care if we locked eyes , I don 't have to adhere to your need to prove yourself . How old are you anyway ? Twelve ? " " I 'm fourteen ! " the kid yelled . " It 's in the rules ! If you look at me , and I look back at you , we have to battle . I 'll call the Pokemon Battle Association if you don 't ! " " What makes you think I care ? Do you think that 's going to change my mind ? Kid , before you threaten someone , you need to make sure you have something to take away from them . " " Are you off your medication ? I have at least twelve years experience on you , " Dorian said , bringing his head down to the teen 's level . " Where are your parents ? I 'm feeling the sudden urge to tell them what an annoying little bastard you are . " You like to make fun of the game tropes . That was at least two right there . It 's fun to ridicule the sillier aspects of the games , but be careful not to overdo it . It 's hard to juxtapose the realism of Trapinch 's bloody , pain evolution against the silliness of those things . I know that you are ridiculing the silliness of them , but it 's still feeling a TAD BIT forced to do so . But don 't worry , it 's amusing to read either way . - What an odd note to end the chapter on . It makes me feel there is more to this kid and his Beedrill than meets the eye . I 'm curious as to how this battle wraps up and what it 's leading to , so I might sneak a peak at chapter 5 before heading off . As far as filler chapters go , this wasn 't bad . I like filler because it develops character . We didn 't really get MUCH of that here , but the writing was still very enjoyable . Posts 3 , 228 All caught up ! But I 'm on my iPod right now so I can 't give an in depth review . As I told you already , I loved chapter 8 . It has to be my favorite so far . I had thought you killed Golduck . I was going to cry , but I 'm happy to see that he is alive . The Graveler incident wrapped up very nicely . I expect both Dorian and Shelton to grow from it . I love how you portrayed Shelton when she saw the workman . Seems like you have women pinned down . ; P Ethan becoming more and more frustrated was a nice touch . It seems he 's ready to pull his hair out . Keep up the good work . Until next time . Well , I think it would have protected him but it wasn 't activated at the time . The device needs to be switched on to be able to block attacks . So if he 's not in a battle or dangerous situation , I think he leaves it off to save power . Lol now that I think about it , it is pretty similar . However , no , its my own invention . I use that catch phrase irl , and it annoys my fiance to no end . Considering the narrator is not a " character " ( at least has not been portrayed as such ) , it seems odd for the narrator to say something like " Well , almost all of them " . It sounds a bit too colloquial for an unquestioned narration . Do you know what I mean ? There 's nothing wrong with giving your narrator some flavor and personality , but it hasn 't had one to this point , so this threw me . I see what you mean . You 're actually the second person to suggest that very thing . I flirted with the idea before , but with Trapinch I decided that the way I went was my favorite . Who knows , you may see some of what you suggested if any more of their pokemon evolve . You like to make fun of the game tropes . That was at least two right there . It 's fun to ridicule the sillier aspects of the games , but be careful not to overdo it . It 's hard to juxtapose the realism of Trapinch 's bloody , pain evolution against the silliness of those things . I know that you are ridiculing the silliness of them , but it 's still feeling a TAD BIT forced to do so . But don 't worry , it 's amusing to read either way . On one hand , I was making fun of the games , but the main reason the kid said those things because his character is really bent on following rules at all costs and sticking to exactly what his manual says . That 'll become apparent in later chapters as he slowly works himself back into the story . I 'll keep what you said in mind . I see what you mean . You 're actually the second person to suggest that very thing . I flirted with the idea before , but with Trapinch I decided that the way I went was my favorite . Who knows , you may see some of what you suggested if any more of their pokemon evolve . Working on a review and saw this . I have a problem with that form of evolution . It makes snese to me for a Pokemon to be preparing , like a bear for hibernation , and then let the actual change happen more instantaniously , but if you go the drawn out route , what do you do with Pokemon liek Remoraid ? Halfway through evolution , . uyou have this finless red rock thing with dumpy little limbs not quite long enough to move its proportionally oversize head , and the flins it had as a Remoraid have mostly retreated into its Octillery body . You have this fish that can 't feed itself . . . On the subject of the evolution method , I think it 's a good idea and waaay more realistic than in the games and anime , but I see Glover 's point about certain Pokémon that would struggle with this method . But what if certain Pokémon , such as Remoraid , had developed faster evolution so that they wouldn 't have to go as long without food ? That 's just an idea on my part , feel free to say it 's terrible . " Shut it . Just because you had one good idea does not mean that I have a higher opinion of you . Besides , you still owe me for rent , " Shelton snarled . I think you portray the relationship between Dorian and Shelton really well . You have a good balance between Shelton 's scathing nudges but not making it seem too forced . He felt Alakazam flinch behind him as the words crossed his mind ; having no doubt that the psychic type had heard . Unfazed , Ethan used his heels to spurn Rapidash faster , his body starting to almost vibrate with eagerness . The forest they were traveling through morphed into a ring of brown and black as they sped up , Ethan 's eyes unable to focus due to the wind howling into them . He knew that Rapidash was already pushed to the edge of her abilities , but he dug his heels into her harder ; fire in his eyes and murder in his heart . Another thing I like is the way you 're portraying Ethan . He 's slowly getting more and more violent in his pursuit of Dorian and Shelton , and the fact that Alakazam doesn 't wholly agree with him is a nice touch on the lines of making sure all the Pokémon have personalitites . It also means he 's a tiny bit more unpredictable . I know I ought to point out the negative points of this fic as well as going " You portrayed this well , you wrote that well " , but tbh I can 't see anything that you desparately need to work on . Future reviews probably won 't be quite as in - depth ( by my standards anyway ) , but they will definitely come . Looking forward to the next chapter . Originally Posted by Missingno . Master And my authorish side must tell you that logic doesn 't trump diddly in this story . Klang can fart . Plain and simple . Working on a review and saw this . I have a problem with that form of evolution . It makes snese to me for a Pokemon to be preparing , like a bear for hibernation , and then let the actual change happen more instantaniously , but if you go the drawn out route , what do you do with Pokemon liek Remoraid ? Halfway through evolution , . uyou have this finless red rock thing with dumpy little limbs not quite long enough to move its proportionally oversize head , and the flins it had as a Remoraid have mostly retreated into its Octillery body . You have this fish that can 't feed itself . . . I see your point as well . I like my idea of spontaneous violent evolution the best , but subtle changes beforehand , like change of eye color , skin color , beginnings of a tail , etc , are something that I may or may not decide to do . As long as the small changes don 't affect the Pokemon to the point where they can 't function normally , I don 't see a problem with it . Lol , I 'll probably end up sticking to my version Thanks ! Their relationship is one area I think is really integral to the story , so its been something I 've been trying really hard on . Thanks for noticing . I 'm sure she was , which is why the first thing she did after she was able to rest was start eating . . . . WHAT ? Argh , massive cliffhanger ! ;_ ; I hope Dorian doesn 't die . I like Dorian . I like their interactions here a lot . You do a good job at showing how they get along yet how they like to playfully fight with each other . ( Also , this is like my dream situation . I like being lazy . ) Well , this explains a lot . Yay for Dorian and Shelton backstory ! Now that I think about it , anyway , I prefer them to have sibling - like relationship rather than a romantic one . I wouldn 't really use the word " obviously " in third person . It can make the readers feel dumb especially if they don 't realize what you 're actually trying to say . Also expecting your readers to know things is silly . If you said , however : " it was obvious to Ethan that Alakazam was trying to keep them both level … " or something , that 'd be fine , since it 's attributed to your character , not the readers . Hope that makes sense . Ignorance does not excuse a crime , and this was an offense that would not be forgiven . Amusing . Oh , Shelton , you 're such a flirt . She was swooning over this man with no regard to what she looked like ; which to Dorian was akin to her asking for a three course dinner at a hardware store . Even more amusing . I 'd totally like to see this scene . And it 's just like Dorian to be like … what the hell are you doing ? LOL . A course a guy would say no . Also , I like the hint of Dorian not liking people from other regions . I 've seen a lot of rivalry between regions being implemented in fics , and I 've always found it pretty interesting . It 's kind of like the pokémon version of racism … since no one ever seems to have actual race prominent in their fics . Nuzleaf randomly showing up LOL . If even the pokémon know you 're kinda going around too much , then that sounds like a pretty big deal . " Yeah , " Dorian replied . " He 's coming . " Lol , at first I think Ronnie , but you cut this section off at the perfect point to where the readers realizes - well , * * * * , Ethan 's coming too . Confident that his Scyther would arrive momentarily , Ethan turned back to examine the city . A red shingled Pokemon Center sat up the right , while farther back and to the left resided an almost depressed looking market ; its blue roof cracked and weathered with age . Houses were strewn across the city like random fallen raindrops , with no order or discernible pattern to their placement . Slabs of rock decorated the ground every few hundred feet , some no bigger than basketballs , while others were as large as cars ; a testament to the city 's rocky beginning . This is a very interesting and descriptive take on Pewter City . Yeah , it 's supposed to be a really ancient city and kind of old , but the games / anime never really show that . I like this a lot . " You 're not getting off that easy , " Ethan replied , clamping down on her arm so hard that his hand began to cramp . As evil as it sounds , I really like this part . It shows just how serious Ethan is about this situation . He 's willing to go pretty damn far for it , even if it means that his pokémon get hurt . The only problem was , he had taken shape completely nude . As soon as Machoke 's eyes took in his new form and the area he was in , he quickly started crying and covering his lower body in embarrassment . Poor Machoke . This is a pretty interesting take on the pokémon . Usually they 're all supposed to have heavyweight belts or something , but it just doesn 't make sense for them to materialize out of nowhere . I like this realistic take on Machoke . It also gave great insight to his character . : P Poor guy . I also liked the ending a lot . Looks like Dorian 's going through something similar that Ethan does because of the stone . Out - of - body experiences can certainly be interesting . Overall , your description was really good in this chapter , as usual . I could see everything very clearly . There was also a lot more interactive dialogue in this chapter , I think … And I think you 're getting a lot better at it . You really know how to portray a character 's personality and such through their words alone , which is a good skill to have . Anyway , I look forward to seeing more . | | survival project | | phantom project | | Posts 526 Sorry for the delay , but its here now . I tried to find any remaining grammatical errors , but I 'm still not that good in that area , so please correct me if any of my statements prove to be false . Well , let 's get started . Requiem , an interesting choice for a story title . It means a church service for someone who has died , or a piece of music for that service , a slightly morbid piece of foreshadowing in my opinion . Still , catchy title . Originally Posted by Sidewinder Supposed to be inseparable . A very well written start to this story . You explain the boy 's childhood and give us many details of his situation including the fact that he has an Abra with similar issues . The scene with the chamber is a little rushed in my opinion , going from the boy losing sight of the tour group to being attacked by a wild Pokemon to getting dragged through a wall to the alter and the crystal , but this is the prologue so I guess its all right if its short . A great chapter , you described the Growlithe battle with much detail as well as introducing Dorian and Nuzleaf . Shelton is well on her way to becoming my favorite character , her no - nonsense attitude and treatment of Dorian who is a polar opposite of her make for quite the funny scene . I 'd like to mention the passage at the end of the chapter . This man is a strange character , he doesn 't show the signs of an outright antagonist - in fact the prologue makes him seem more like a protagonist with his new powers and the voices . You set up his story so that his quest will eventually intersect with Dorian and Shelton now that Dorian has that artifact . Originally Posted by Sidewinder Nothing wrong with this passage , I just found it funny . It 's a sign of a good author when they can input humor into a story and not detract from the main plot . Originally Posted by Sidewinder " Well , from the limited amount of information we 've gathered on the marker 's , they 're supposedly forged from metal ; but out of a rare ore we think is obsidian . Though we don 't know for sure because there is so little discovered throughout the world today , only a few grams or so . We know that from their description , its jet black , weighing much less than other metal ore 's they would have had access to back then . From what the Director is thinking , he attributed it more to a hollow , glossy diamond , instead of metal . " Again , a well written chapter . A few grammatical errors , but the number of them is decreasing as more chapters pass . Which is always a good sign of improvement . We see the financial situation that Dorian and Shelton are in , which , provides a good incentive for them to deliver the artifact to Dorian 's uncle ( I know that doesn 't happen until chapter three , but I 'm pointing it out now ) . And the man 's quest for the shards , and absorbing them , nice description with that . Originally Posted by Sidewinder The man didn 't know where they were going next , but he knew that the next time he slept , he would be told . He was always told where to go and how to better himself and his Pokemon . The voices would whisper to him in his dreams , guiding him towards additional power , guiding him to more knowledge , and eventually , guiding him to his destiny . And now we are introduced to a new character of sorts , the voices . While we don 't know whether the man is the villain of this story yet , we know that it is these voices that guide him on his quest for some unknown reason . You 're introducing his character slowly , so that the readers only see a small bit of his personality at a time . A nice touch , his " destiny " adds another bit of mystery to the plot . Originally Posted by Sidewinder " No . That catch phrase is never going to catch on . Besides that , its barely a catch phrase . Its just random words that have nothing to do with our current situation . " I 'm not sure on this one , but it sounds better if it said " quickly " not " quick " . The few errors aside , a good chapter . This is where the real adventure begins . I find it a little strange that Dorian just found that rare artifact covered by a thin layer of dirt , while the others were in hidden , underground chambers that had to be forced open with a Pokemon attack . I realize that it 's for the plot , but I 'm not sure why this certain artifact was so easy to find . Just a little oddity I was wondering about . As of this chapter , Dorian and Shelton , and even Ethan 's characters seem to be developing steadily , with details of back - story and personality being revealed gradually as to not overwhelm readers . You have an excellent balance of plot development , character development , details , and humor . You also make the Pokemon very memorable and make their individual personalities shine . Yet another reason why I enjoy this story . When you are doing quick back - and - forth dialogue , you don 't need the names and verbs ( " Dorian exclaimed " , etc . Just let it flow , untagged line after untagged line . It will feel a LOT more natural , and will read just as it is supposed to . As long as each character has a distinctive voice , the readers should be able to keep up with the flow for several lines at a time . The cliff face to the left began to shift . Slowly at first , almost accidentally , as if it was struggling to decide whether it wanted to keep its shape . White eyes opened along the expanse of the cliff , blinking slowly . Upon closer inspection , legs and arms became visible . The roughly hewn limbs made out of the same rock they were latched onto . The shapes communicated by moving themselves against the rocks , listening to the craggy vibrations that were made when they did so I LOVE the part about the Geodude / Graveler / Whatever communicating through vibration . That 's incredibly realistic and creative . I 'm not enamored with the " Upon closer inspection , legs and arms became visible " line because that sounds almost like script direction than actual prose . Do you get what I mean ? - The ending was fantastic , and I loved the bit with Golduck and Machop and their relationship with Golduck trying to reassure , and later protect him . This is a nice , interesting plot twist to interrupt the main storyline . No Ethan , just the new threat of angry Gravelers . And the two biggest threats to them were neutralized first ? Angry SMART Gravelers . The semi - colon needs to be a comma . Semi - colons indicate that a sentence can be split into two separate ones without being fragments . Commas separate the fragments that wouldn 't pass as regular sentences . If you don 't want to replace the semi - colon , you might want to replace " having " with " he had " . I know that the worker is supposed to have a bit of an accented drawl , and I love the fact that you gave him a noticeable accent and personality ; it makes him all the more memorable . However , the two bolded words were misspelled . " Folks " shouldn 't have an apostrophe ; it 's a single word that would denote Dorian and Shelton . And the apostrophe in " y ' all " is supposed to be between the " y " and the " a " , since it 's a shortened version of " you all " . Ethan hated all of it ; it was so , unorganized . There weren 't even clear paths for people to walk on , instead there were just random trails of stomped grass crisscrossing in every direction . This poor excuse of a city was nothing compared to his home in Saffron , where manicured lawns and glass high - rises reigned supreme . Ethan would deal with this situation quickly and get back home ; back to a place with proper people and actual order . Shaking his head , he reached into his back pocket and pulled it out ; but it wasn 't his phone he had retrieved , it was the shard . It was pulsing lightly , almost like a gentle heartbeat . Dorian didn 't understand why the marker was moving . It didn 't have anything inside it , at least to the best of his knowledge it didn 't . I actually felt sorry for Scyther , and I don 't blame her at all for lashing out at her trainer . Hell , I don 't think she should 've apologized for that ; what Ethan did to her was completely unnecessary and cruel , especially when she showed that she did feel bad about cutting the cable wires . I also felt sorry for Rapidash ; he pushed her way beyond her limits and then wouldn 't let her rest or eat . I truly think that Ethan , in his madness , is going to end up killing one of his own Pokemon . I just wonder if it would be an accident or on purpose . I also wonder which one would end up paying the ultimate price . The characterization of Dorian and Shelton was nice to see . It 's really amusing to see their interactions with each other . The part where Shelton fell head over heels for a mere electrician and Dorian 's reaction was especially hilarious . " [ C ] hucked " . Unless they spewed them at him . Which . . . ew . The Graveler threw the rocks they were holding , each handful tripling in size as they raced towards their target . I was curious about this . Is it a Graveler power , to increase the size of the rocks ? Or was it just describing the change in Nuzleaf 's percerption of them as they got closer to him ? You 're going to get REAL TIRED , REAL FAST of me talking about the Pokeflect , but to me , it 's such a fascinating concept . Would the Pokeflect work if given TO a pokemon ? If not , why not just give them some ? I can imagine that in battle they 'd be barred , but for just journeying around ? Hell , I 'd give my Pokemon at least one ! It would make them indestructible to random acts like this . It was just then that Shuppet wailed , the noise resonating in his eardrums like a nearby foghorn . Wow , obscure reference for the win . When I first read that , I thought " What , like the cartoon rooster ? " I can just see Shuppet saying " Why , I say , son , I say . . . ! " As Dorian rolled to a stop , he shouted , " Growlithe , use flamethrower ! Shuppet , shadow ball ! " The attacks merged together as they hit their target , Growlithe 's flames turning a sickly shade of black and grey . Also , very creative . Combining attacks to make a multi - purpose kind of blast . Very well - done creatively . I can imagine only about a thousand uses for such a concept . Judging from their shattered flesh they had died from the demolition charges that the road crew had planted . I 'm telling you , this entire story could be about the Pokeflect , and I 'd be happy . What a wonderful toy . - I have to say , I 'm obviously not happy that Golduck had to die , but it almost had to happen . Golduck had , to this point and ESPECIALLY in this chapter , proven to be way too powerful . Not that he shouldn 't have been , but it had me thinking " What can really stand up to this thing ? " So it makes sense he had to sacrifice himself . I 'm guessing some of the humor is going to fade out now , at least on some scale . Dorian probably won 't be so headstrong and fun - loving now that he 's seen someone so close to him perish . Which is kind of a shame , but I 'll see where you go from here . Serebii FanFiction 2014 Awards Posts 979 Hi ! I 'm new to this fic and as such have only read through chapter one , but I 'm totally hooked . The Pokeflect is a nice touch , sounding like a very real invention that totally would be needed as technology increases . I like the world you 've created , and I 'm intrigued as to how the Granite Cave boy will connect with Dorian . I also really enjoy his Trapinch 's gradual shift to evolution . It 's a neat touch . ^ This is my new fanfic . It 's a work in progress , so please read and comment at your discretion . I hope you like it . I think you will . Oof . This made me wince . Good description . " He 's dead Shelton , " Dorian said . " I saw , s - saw the energy discharge from his head right before the rock Pokemon hit him . He couldn 't have survived it . I mean , I saw it swallow his body . " Okay , I was curious as to why Golduck just . . . exploded earlier . Not saying that it wasn 't well - written to end chapter six , but I thought the Gravelers had exploded IT . This way makes more sense ; I had just misunderstood , I guess . Shelton backed up several paces , her hands hooking into claws . Golduck couldn 't be dead ! He wouldn 't leave her , not like this , not ever . She drug her hands across her scalp , trying in vain to tear the thought away . She looked around , studying the scene before her . Tears came faster when she saw Machop 's body , pitching her into even more despair . His frail frame was broken , his legs bent into odd angles . She rushed forward , only to stop in place . Golduck and Machop , both of them were hurt . Shelton knew Golduck wasn 't dead ; it wasn 't even something she could comprehend . She was stuck in place , unable to decide what to do . She wanted to climb out of the crater and find Golduck , but at the same time she couldn 't just leave Machop . Indecision rooted her , turned her into molasses . Time slowed , her thoughts became even more muddled . Machop or Golduck , Machop or Golduck ? This shocked me out of the story because , to my knowledge , the narration had not previously been attached to Shelton . Yet , all of the sudden , here it was , and the reader was inside her head instead of Dorian 's . I might have missed the narration being inside everyone 's head earlier , but I thought it was exclusive to Dorian ( except with Ethan and Alakazam were " on - screen " ) . Dorian knew she was capable of a complete mental breakdown and that she was well on her way . Oh ? What is this tasty morsel ? Foreshadowing AND character development ? Me likey . The duck Pokemon was firmly embedded in the rock wall in front of Dorian . His tongue hung limp out of his open bill , saliva dripping down to pool on the ground below . Golduck 's lifeless pupils were dilated to the extreme , speaking volumes of the inactivity behind them . As Dorian kept looking up , he saw that the small jewel in Golduck 's forehead had shattered , leaving a gaping hole . Lavender psychic energy drifted lazily out of the gap in his skull , forming a bubble above Golduck 's head . Regardless of Dorian 's intentions , the red beam continued forward , striking the sapphire avian in the sternum . Golduck 's body morphed into solid energy and returned to his Pokeball . Dorian stared at the red and ivory ball in his hand , a few tears rolling sideways off of its glossy surface . Or maybe not . - I 'm not sure what I think about Golduck possibly being alive . In chapter 6 I thought Golduck was overpowered and that was before I realize he caused that explosion . . . and was able to survive it . I 'm not sure at this point what could possibly threaten these two characters with this Golduck on their team ( except , possibly an even more powerful psychic type , and GEE WHERE MIGHT THEY ENCOUNTER ONE OF THOSE ? ) - I like the notion of Machop 's body basically forcing an evolution as a means of survival . It makes even more sense why you 've chosen to display evolution the way you had previously now . Very foresightful of you . It was quite a unique desperation tactic by Machop 's body , though . I wonder just how common this may or may not be . Hm . - You know what ? I haven 't missed Ethan at all . I have adored the chapters recently without him . I don 't mean to say that he wasn 't interesting , but it was a joy to read all the Graveler stuff without interruption .
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I 'm very tired as I do this at the moment , and I gotta say , the sudden action woke me up already . Cool way to get back into the action that was present before Ethan 's chapter , especially now that there 's an interesting comparison ( before , they were fighting enemies , and now , they 're fighting each other ) . The two had been sparing for the better part of an hour , both being pushed to the edge of their physical limits as they struggled to best one another . I 'd also put a comma instead of a semi - colon . From what I 've learned , the sentence before and after the semi - colon should be able to be a standalone sentence . But the sentence after the semi - colon here can 't be by itself and still make sense . Nuzleaf climbed onto her lap and looked up at her with his wide eyes , cupping her face softly in his hands as he looked at her . She smiled down at him , touched by the Pokemon 's gesture of affection . Reaching down , she scratched a spot at the small of Nuzleaf 's back , dragging her sharp nails across his wooden body . The sound the nails made as they moved always gave her goose bumps , but Nuzleaf loved it and immediately hugged her close , burying his face in her hair . D ' awwwww , have I ever mentioned how much I love the pokémon Nuzleaf ? This is an adorable image . I 'm going to go be a typical squeeing fangirl now . The once bright sapphire duck 's feathers were now a muted shade of blue , signaling the stress that it had exposed to . Anyway , I agree with Glover when he says that this was a nice conclusion to the Graveler incident . The part I liked the most was going back and forth between Shelton 's grieving over Golduck and the spar between Dorian and Nuzleaf . To me , it was as if the Graveler fight was still happening , in a sense . The fighting spirit and suspense was still entirely present , and you portrayed the idea that all of them were still fighting ( both literally and figuratively ) to live and / or move on with their lives even though there was no real danger present anymore . It makes me reflect on the idea that everyone is always fighting every moment of every day , pretty much . I hope that makes sense . It 's not something I can easily put into words , but it was a good feeling nonetheless . Also , I thought that Dorian and Shelton were a couple ? Am I wrong ? Shelton kissing the technician on the cheek and mentioning falling in love with him seemed odd to me for this reason , and also because she was just unbelievably angry and bitter moments before she did such a thing . I guess it 's understandable that her emotions would be going crazy at the moment , and it was cute nonetheless , but still , it left me wondering about Dorian . Overall , the chapter felt complete and full of emotions , just as the conclusion of such a horrific event should feel . The only thing I might have added was Shelton reflecting on Golduck 's possible feelings of losing his psychic power . Does he value it ? Does Shelton think it won 't effect him ? I mention this because Golduck 's personality wasn 't revealed enough for us readers to know yet ( though I may have just forgotten , in which case , feel free to ignore me ) , but I expect that you 'll be showing the aftereffects soon enough , and you 'll have us as readers wishing we had known him more before the incident as well ( which isn 't a bad thing - I would find that kind of interesting , actually ) . Keep up the good work ~ Anyway , my ramblings aside , this a was a wonderful closure piece to the graveler scene , Although I find it a bit odd that Mr . Thompson didn 't arrange an automated pressure release . The way the spike sounds , it 's like something that must be manually drained . My dad was ona Colostomy bag , such things as manual body drains are not fun . Surely there 's a way to rig a one - way valve , or maybe that 's just not in Viridian 's reprritoire . That 's correct . I see what you 're saying , but for some reason this sounded a little bit better for me . The idea came from the movie ' Three Kings ' . Mark Wahlberg 's character gets shot in the lung at one point , and when his friends have to install this release valve for building air pressure in the lung . Occasionly he has to turn the valve to release the stored pressure , aloowing him to breathe . Ah well thanks ! The bit with the ICU and Golduck 's explanation was actually something I tried really hard on , so I 'm glad you noticed . And yeah , the whole Nurse Joy wonderful attitude happy go lucky thing never really went over well with me . I felt like this was much more realistic , glad you think so too That was something that I wasn 't really sure about . I hoped it would go over well , so I 'm glad you commented on it . I felt like it would be a good way to transition from what was happening right then , while also giving a backstory on the events that happened after the Graveler attack . One thing , you use the phrase " knocking him sprawling " once . I can ; t find anything wrong with it , it 's just a little bit odd to me . Maybe I 'm just used to hearing " Sending him sprawling " which is the exact same thing , just sounds different . I don 't know . Maybe it 's another regional thing . I see what you 're saying . I went back and looked , and I feel like they both work . I 'm going to keep it the way it is , but thanks for bringing it to my attention . Anyway , I agree with Glover when he says that this was a nice conclusion to the Graveler incident . The part I liked the most was going back and forth between Shelton 's grieving over Golduck and the spar between Dorian and Nuzleaf . To me , it was as if the Graveler fight was still happening , in a sense . The fighting spirit and suspense was still entirely present , and you portrayed the idea that all of them were still fighting ( both literally and figuratively ) to live and / or move on with their lives even though there was no real danger present anymore . It makes me reflect on the idea that everyone is always fighting every moment of every day , pretty much . I hope that makes sense . It 's not something I can easily put into words , but it was a good feeling nonetheless . Once again , that was exactly what I was shooting for . I 've always found the relation between emotional / physical trauma and future actions . Back in my wasteful youth days , I got into a fist fight with a few guys and got beat up . It was so loud , and intense , and I had never been in a fight before so it somewhat affected for a few days after that . I 'd hear a loud noise and tense up , like I was expecting it to happen all over again . So I kinda of drew heavily on that for this chapter , if that makes sense . None of them are going to be okay for awhile I think , but you 're right , we fight battles everyday , luckily though its not against hordes of furios rock Pokemon . I won 't deny that if I read this story and wasn 't the writer , I would say they have some obvious chemistry , but no , they 're not together . I mentioned in a few chapters that they 're just roomates , and they have been for a very long time . I 'm actually touching on their back stories some more in the next chapter , and it should firm up their motives and feelings for each other a little more clearly . The only thing I might have added was Shelton reflecting on Golduck 's possible feelings of losing his psychic power . Does he value it ? Does Shelton think it won 't effect him ? That 's going to be gone into before , and after Golduck is healed up and released . I think she was just so relieved that she was close to him again and that he was okay , that she kinda bypassed thinking about the long term ramifications of the loss of that ability . That 's going to be expanded on greatly eventually . It 's going to be alot for him to deal with , and for her as well . Thanks for reviewing once again ! The premise is very interesting ; a young couple delivering a priceless artifact for much needed money and an unbalanced man who will make every effort to stop them . However , I find all of their motives to be compelling , even the antagonist - at least , the person who you 're setting up to be the antagonist . Dorian and Shelton are two young people trying to pay off their bills and care for their Pokemon . Dorian obviously has a dream to be a strong trainer , while Shelton 's motives are a little more unclear ( although I would think that getting married would be one of them ) . Meanwhile , Ethan grew up alone and friendless aside from his Abra / Alakazam . He 's desperate for the voices to stay in his head because they 've been friendly to him . I actually pity him ; he doesn 't know that they might turn on him in an instant . It took three chapters to build up steam , but when the action started . . . I have to admit that I was very impressed . The stress of Dorian and Shelton in the immediate aftermath of the Graveler attack is strikingly realistic , and their emotions plucked at my heartstrings . I could feel their shock , pain , anger , and sadness as if it were my own . I honestly don 't think that you could have done any better than you did . My favorite character right now has to be Alakazam . He 's shown the most personality so far out of all of the Pokemon , and while I like all of the human characters , I feel a certain connection to Alakazam . He 's definitely a wildcard in all of this . When it comes down to it , will he stay loyal to the trainer and friend he 's known since he was an Abra or will he go with his morals and try to save the innocent couple ? What a fascinating dilemma . . . Anyway , the plot looks rather sound as well . Like I said , it started out slow at first , but once Dorian and Shelton set out to Pewter , it picked up its pace . It hasn 't slowed down yet , and it has kept my interest at a high level , which is always a good thing when it comes to the average fickle reader . Before I say anything else , I want to correct the bolded parts . The bolded comma is unnecessary and needs to be taken out , and an " s " needs to be added to the end of the word " move " . The apostrophe you used in the second sentence is a typo ; you want quotation marks at the end . However , that 's not what concerned me . Why capitalize " Reflect " and " Light Screen " if you 're not going to capitalize any other Pokemon move ? An element of consistency is needed . You might want to put " Reflect " and " Light Screen " in lower - case , since every other Pokemon move is in lower - case . Commas should be in between each of the two bolded words . Commas should be used whenever there 's a pause in a sentence . The full - stop ( period ) should be a comma , as was said by other readers before me . Like they said , a comma should be used in a spoken sentence , while full - stops can be used if the person is using an action ( for example , Dorian winking at the Growlithe in a previous sentence ) . Going back and correcting that error would be nice . You mispelled Shelton 's name . Just a minor typo that I thought I 'd point out . " That 's great Dorian , I 'm glad that when we get tossed to the street we 'll have a nice warm Growlithe to live in . " she said , rolling her eyes and turning to Nuzleaf . " You hungry sweetheart ? " The period should be replaced with a comma , but that 's not what I wanted to mention . Whenever a character is speaking to someone and addressing them directly , you need to use a comma before or after their name or the title they 're being addressed as , depending on where the word is placed . Basically , since Shelton is addressing Dorian , you need to put a comma between the word " great " and his name . Same with Nuzleaf . Since she 's addressing him as " sweetheart " , you need to place a comma between the two bolded words . The whispers had led him to a cave in the recent months , in the sand swept plains of the desert in Hoenn . The cave bearing another flake he took into himself . The cave he found near Route 111 however had something extra . A shard of stone from the enormous tablet he had seen in Granite Cave years ago . People the man walked past throughout the day forgot him as soon as he passed . A somewhat average looking man with long , wavy tan hair , an Alakazam keeping stride to his right . " The whispers had recently led him to a cave in the sand swept plains of the desert in Hoenn . It had contained another flake , which he had took into himself . However , the cave he found near Route 111 had something else : a shard of stone from the enormous tablet he had seen in Granite Cave years ago . The people that the man walked past throughout the day forgot him as soon as he passed . Even with the Alakazam keeping stride to his right , he was an average - looking man with long , wavy tan hair being the only other physical attribute of note . " I don 't have a problem with your characters so far , but the personalities of the Pokemon could use a bit more description . Show them as themselves . You 've done that with Nuzleaf and Alakazam . Why not show the rest ? Just a thought . You 're the second person to think that Dorian and Shelton are a couple . I tried my best to describe how close they were , and if some people think they 're together , I guess I did just that . But no , they are not a couple . Alot more of their backstory will be revealed in the next chapter . Which should help to put that theory to rest . They 've known each other for a VERY long time , and the closeness of their relationship is just a result of the sibling like love they have for each other . It took three chapters to build up steam , but when the action started . . . I have to admit that I was very impressed . The stress of Dorian and Shelton in the immediate aftermath of the Graveler attack is strikingly realistic , and their emotions plucked at my heartstrings . I could feel their shock , pain , anger , and sadness as if it were my own . I honestly don 't think that you could have done any better than you did . I 'm glad you noticed . It was one part that I tried really hard on . I 'm glad its gone over so well with so many people . Thanks ! ^^ My favorite character right now has to be Alakazam . He 's shown the most personality so far out of all of the Pokemon , and while I like all of the human characters , I feel a certain connection to Alakazam . He 's definitely a wildcard in all of this . When it comes down to it , will he stay loyal to the trainer and friend he 's known since he was an Abra or will he go with his morals and try to save the innocent couple ? What a fascinating dilemma . . . I don 't have a problem with your characters so far , but the personalities of the Pokemon could use a bit more description . Show them as themselves . You 've done that with Nuzleaf and Alakazam . Why not show the rest ? Just a thought . You 're completely right . Right before I saw your review , I told myself the exact same thing . They are all an integral part of the story , and I 'm not doing right by them if I dont expand on them more . In the coming chapters , you 'll see alot more of their personalities . Shall I add you to the PM list then ? And thanks very much for the review . I really appreciate it as you pointed out some things that I know could use some polishing . To everyone else reading / reviewing , the new chapter should be out by Monday night . - I 'm wondering why the boy didn 't feel connected to his adoptive parents . I get that they aren 't his real birth parents , but I wonder why he seems so . . . mad about them . They certainly seem nice . Is the boy going through a rebellious time ? I 'm stuck with this question , and I hope it gets delved into . SLAM ! I 'm not a particularly big fan of sound - effects in prose , but to each their own . I get that it 's a preference thing . the soft skin on his arms tearing easily on the ground as he rolled to a stop . OW . Good image , though . It actually makes me wince when I read it . Excellent work , that . Abra limped towards his master , favoring his left leg . The psychic pokemon 's right leg bore a long gash up the side of its thigh , Usually when someone is " favoring " a leg , that means they are protecting it because it 's the weaker or injured one . So does Abra have two major leg injuries ? Because if I had a long gash on one leg , I might be favoring that , but if the left leg has bone / tendon damage , that would result in favoring it no matter what wound the right leg has . I guess I was just confused here is all . As the boy and his Abra looked in wonder at the strange object , a small stony flake , glistening slightly in the oily light of the conjured orb , began to skitter across the top of the altar , seemingly of its own accord . As the boy and his pokemon noticed the flake , they stiffened , perceiving a new threat . A little unwieldy starting two consecutive sentence with the same lines " As the boy and his . . . " . OVERALL : Very interesting beginning . What the heck kind of serrated blade is so powerful that it cuts through large stone tablets ? I 'd be scared as heck at the thought of that if I were in Boy 's shoes . And I desperately hope we see more of Boy because I really want his backstory with the adoptive parents . Okay , this is a good idea . How haven 't more people been injured by Pokemon ? Because of this device ! I 'm only 2 lines in here , and I very much want to know more about this thing . I think you could make a whole story around this device , actually . Does it protect against , say , a Scyther 's claws ? And if so , would you protect someone from ANY kind of blade ? Or ANY kind of fire ? I have a feeling I might just be digressing , though . " bullet seed ! ' Dorian roared . I 'm actually NOT going to say you need to capitalize the names of moves ( because I don 't , either generally , but you should capitalize the beginning of a sentence . No sooner had he given the command , the Growlithe righted itself and charged his Nuzleaf , orange flame licking the pits of its nostrils . The grass type followed behind , purpose written across its scarred face ; it jumped and landed on top of the Growlithe , using both legs to pin down the pup . I like those . Nice description there . - Okay , I read that one section a few times , and I can 't , for the life of me , figure out what the violet energy that picked up and flipped over Dorian was . Can you explain ? I 'm assuming it was some kind of psychic attack , but was it from Golduck ? Or even Shelton ? What was it ? - Aaannnddd . . . okay , Boy did not grow up to be Dorian . That makes sense , I guess . Boy is going to be . . . the villain of the story ? Maybe ? Way too early to conjecture on that , I suppose . Definitely intrigued by him , though . - I 'm wondering why the boy didn 't feel connected to his adoptive parents . I get that they aren 't his real birth parents , but I wonder why he seems so . . . mad about them . They certainly seem nice . Is the boy going through a rebellious time ? I 'm stuck with this question , and I hope it gets delved into . Usually when someone is " favoring " a leg , that means they are protecting it because it 's the weaker or injured one . So does Abra have two major leg injuries ? Because if I had a long gash on one leg , I might be favoring that , but if the left leg has bone / tendon damage , that would result in favoring it no matter what wound the right leg has . I guess I was just confused here is all . I see what you 're saying . I 'll have to check on that , because my understanding of ' favoring ' , is that you are doing more with that limb than another because the other is somewhat incapacitated . You 're favoring the one that 's in good condition . I 'll check on that to be sure , and If it needs to be changed I 'll do so . Thanks for bringing it to my attention . OVERALL : Very interesting beginning . What the heck kind of serrated blade is so powerful that it cuts through large stone tablets ? I 'd be scared as heck at the thought of that if I were in Boy 's shoes . And I desperately hope we see more of Boy because I really want his backstory with the adoptive parents Anyhoo , I 've noticed you hadn 't named the latest two chapters . Any reasoning for that ? Wait . . . * looks back * Oh durr , you haven 't been using names at all . Your " cause " , " effect " , and " aftermath " caused me to believe that . And now that I think about it , I don 't think they were needed at all . We would 've figured out what the chapter was about without that little reminder . Now to the two chapters I missed . I pity Ethan . He 's going through so much pain to gather up these flakes , and yet these voices keep up this ruse of being friendly to him , and showing gratitude for saving them . Alakazam can see through this , but because of his loyalty to Ethan , he has to do as he says , even though it hurts him more . Man , that 's dark . You really were convincing us Golduck wasn 't going to make it , and the somber piano music I 'm currently playing makes that hurt a lot ( because the song 's just that effective ) . Still , I am happy he 's alive , even though he 's going to be a changed duck from now on . I like the explanations the doctor gave about the gem . Something tells me you did some research a bit before writing that , or at least know a little bit about the brain ( well , biology in general ) , because that 's really impressive . Posts 1 , 116 " I 'm instituting a new rule , " Shelton began , crossing her legs and leaning forward . " From now on , all your decision making privileges have been revoked . Other than involuntary bodily functions you have to perform in order to survive , I want you on the sofa , sitting on your hands at all times . " I 'm curious as to the relationship here . Are they roommates ? Siblings ? Parent and child ? Lovers ? I 'm sure I 'll get it eventually , but I 'm kind of lost on it so far . After a pensive look , Dorian said , " I request the right to argue for a lower amount after I 've thought of a good enough excuse . " I like that . It 's like a good sitcom line . " Machop is under the house again , " she answered . " We were out back pulling weeds , when that soulless Sunflora popped out and started terrorizing him again . Shuppet is in her usual spot " I like this , too , as it really makes them feel like pets ( which I 'm sure you 've realized from my fic is how I more - or - less picture pokemon ) . A Machop getting harassed by an angry Sunflora . . . that really is kind of striking . I can see the Sunflora yipping at it when I recreate the scene in my head . Kind of a " show , don 't tell " problem here : I 'd rather the story display to me that he 's a genius than the narration say it outright . " How you doing , hotshot ? " his uncle asked . " Still driving the girls crazy ? " I would MAYBE have liked a BIT more set - up here , but as it stands , it seems like an amazingly unlikely coincidence . This guy literally trips over an ancient artifact , and then 5 minutes later his scientist uncle calls him and says he 's looking for it ? That 's one - in - a - trillion or so . The wall whimpered in protest , trying to hold its shape , struggling to retain the only purpose it ever had . With a groan , the wall slid forward into a pile of rubble at the Rhydon 's outsized feet Okay , I love all that . The man didn 't know where they were going next , but he knew that the next time he slept , he would be told . He was always told where to go and how to better himself and his Pokemon . The voices would whisper to him in his dreams , guiding him towards additional power , guiding him to more knowledge , and eventually , guiding him to his destiny Good ending there . What kind of " power " is he getting from these things ? He still seems ordinary , what with Alakazam having to save his life . So what are they doing to them ? I 'm sensing an eventual face turn from Alakazam , too , where he betrays his trainer and works to save him from what the flakes are doing to him . Anyhoo , I 've noticed you hadn 't named the latest two chapters . Any reasoning for that ? Wait . . . * looks back * Oh durr , you haven 't been using names at all . Your " cause " , " effect " , and " aftermath " caused me to believe that . And now that I think about it , I don 't think they were needed at all . We would 've figured out what the chapter was about without that little reminder . I see what you 're saying . I named those chapters because of the seriousness of the situations they faced . I think if I 'm going to names the chapters , I should be more consistent , as to avoid confusion . I think I 'm going to leave them the way that they are , but thanks for pointing that out . I pity Ethan . He 's going through so much pain to gather up these flakes , and yet these voices keep up this ruse of being friendly to him , and showing gratitude for saving them . Alakazam can see through this , but because of his loyalty to Ethan , he has to do as he says , even though it hurts him more . Man , that 's dark . You really were convincing us Golduck wasn 't going to make it , and the somber piano music I 'm currently playing makes that hurt a lot ( because the song 's just that effective ) . Still , I am happy he 's alive , even though he 's going to be a changed duck from now on . I like the explanations the doctor gave about the gem . Something tells me you did some research a bit before writing that , or at least know a little bit about the brain ( well , biology in general ) , because that 's really impressive . I flirted with the idea of letting him die for a long time . With that music you had playing , I can see how it may have worked haha . I have had some schooling when it comes to biology , but most of my explanation with Golduck 's brain / physiology is just stuff I made up . I 've always loved Psyduck and Golduck , so over the years I 've come up with alot of theories with how their mental prowess works . Thanks ! I 'm curious as to the relationship here . Are they roommates ? Siblings ? Parent and child ? Lovers ? I 'm sure I 'll get it eventually , but I 'm kind of lost on it so far . I mentioned once or twice before that line that they were roomates . Looking back at later chapters , I can see how their relationship would be confusing . Dorian is extremely impulsive , wereas Shelton is calculated and responsible . She acts like a parent towards him alot of the time , which is the main reason she 's so cross towards him sometimes . I like this , too , as it really makes them feel like pets ( which I 'm sure you 've realized from my fic is how I more - or - less picture pokemon ) . A Machop getting harassed by an angry Sunflora . . . that really is kind of striking . I can see the Sunflora yipping at it when I recreate the scene in my head . I would MAYBE have liked a BIT more set - up here , but as it stands , it seems like an amazingly unlikely coincidence . This guy literally trips over an ancient artifact , and then 5 minutes later his scientist uncle calls him and says he 's looking for it ? That 's one - in - a - trillion or so . Lol , it is unlikely . The reasoning behind that will become clear later on Good ending there . What kind of " power " is he getting from these things ? He still seems ordinary , what with Alakazam having to save his life . So what are they doing to them ? I 'm sensing an eventual face turn from Alakazam , too , where he betrays his trainer and works to save him from what the flakes are doing to him That will be revealed with some of the chapters I 've posted . Alakazam is in a complicated place . Even when he was an Abra so many years ago , he knew that Ethan should not get involved , but couldn 't stop him . Now that he 's grown and matured , he may end up being able to express himself to Ethan better . I hope so at least I figure you mean " body slam " in that he unintentionally rammed his body into them , but initially read it as " like when Hulk Hogan picked up and slammed Andre The Giant " and was very perplexed as to why the hell he would do that ? I guess he DOES owe that Golduck . LOL . Not a mistake on your part , but my pop - culture ensoaked brain gave me a tremendously funny visual . Thanks for that ! Kind of a silly moment since we haven 't seen this side of Shelton at all . But again . . . I LOL ' ed . " Let 's do it ! " Dorian announced . " Strap on the nitro ! " " No . That catch phrase is never going to catch on . Besides that , its barely a catch phrase . Its just random words that have nothing to do with our current situation . " - I like the quick , zippy dialogue here , because I usually write a lot of that ( my fic hasn 't given me much of a chance yet , but que sera sera ) . I really like two characters going back - and - forth in a rapid succession . SOME of the lines there seemed a little forced ( the " Last word freak " one stuck out to me ) , but by - and - large , it was a lot of fun to read . I enjoyed that part a lot . - It 's good seeing the plot develop here , and I like the irony that Dorian is leaving Johto for Kanto while Ethan is doing the opposite . Good job removing both characters from their element . I look forward to getting to chapter 4 tomorrow . " Shut it . Just because you had one good idea does not mean that I have a higher opinion of you . Besides , you still owe me for rent , " Shelton snarled . Dorian ducked out of her reach and walked a bit faster , muttering curses under his breath . The walk through Viridian Forest had only taken about two hours , and thankfully , it had been without incident . The woods were serene and silent , their colors exclaiming vibrant hues of gold , orange , and red . As Dorian and Shelton approached the borders of Pewter City , he whipped out his phone and called his uncle , bracing himself for his naturally booming voice . A tone sounded three times in rapid succession , signaling that his uncle had ignored his call . Confused , Dorian dialed again , only to be greeted by the same high pitched beeps . It was odd his uncle wasn 't answering , as he was probably expecting them by now . As they strode past the main entrance to the city , Dorian looked to the northeast and caught the familiar sight of the red roof of Ronnie 's house . Allowing himself a small smile , he looked over to Nuzleaf and Shelton , only to find them wearing the same expression . Ronnie would make their recent misfortune worthwhile ; he would put them back into their usual mindset . His uncle always exuded a sense of calm and jovial happiness , and had always done his best to make him and Shelton feel welcome and comfortable ; it was an unspoken promise he had kept ever since he started raising them . Ethan tightened his grip on Rapidash 's neck as he started to slip to the left . Just as he did however , he felt a gentle force press his body back into an upright position . Looking backwards , he saw a faint violet aura around his Alakazam . He noticed a similar aura taking shape around his own legs and waist ; obviously Alakazam 's attempt to keep them both level on the galloping horse . The group blew through the entrance to Viridian City like a tornado , sending people in their way dashing to the left and right for safety . A small line of flames traced a path behind them , the result of the drying grass being exposed to Rapidash 's intense heat . People to the east and west of the city looking their direction were only able to make out a shining streak of yellow and orange , racing through the northern exit of the city like a meteorite . Ethan stared straight ahead , not noticing or caring for the sharp yells of the people they passed . Ethan was on the path to his destiny , on the road towards two hooligans that had stolen something very precious from him . He would take back the shard from them of course , that was just a byproduct of the vengeance that was about to be released . Besides their crime of thievery , they had threatened the voices , and for that they would be punished . He knew that they probably didn 't know what they had done , but it didn 't matter . Ignorance does not excuse a crime , and this was an offense that would not be forgiven . He felt Alakazam flinch behind him as the words crossed his mind ; having no doubt that the psychic type had heard . Unfazed , Ethan used his heels to spurn Rapidash faster , his body starting to almost vibrate with eagerness . The forest they were traveling through morphed into a ring of brown and black as they sped up , Ethan 's eyes unable to focus due to the wind howling into them . He knew that Rapidash was already pushed to the edge of her abilities , but he dug his heels into her harder ; fire in his eyes and murder in his heart . They were standing about twenty feet from Ronnie 's front porch , stopped dead in their tracks by a withering mass of sparking electrical cables . The strands of thick plastic danced around about in a chaotic fashion , loud snaps ringing out as they discharged electricity . A crew of four men formed a square around the cables , waving their hands in warning as people walked by . They were all wearing identical blue jumpsuits with snowy white hardhats , their apparel streaked with layers of grime and sweat . The one closest to them saw them approaching and quickly trotted over , his hand fixed on the top of his head to keep his hard hat from bouncing off . " Sorry folk 's , but that 's as close as ya 'll are gonna get , " the man said , his vowels long and prominent . The man 's brow was drenched in sweat , which transitioned to his almost shoulder length hair that was of the same wet persuasion . A scraggly three - day growth of a beard was visible against intense hazel eyes . As he came to a stop in front of them , Dorian noticed two things . First , that the man was tanned and muscularly toned like that of a chiseled statue ; the second thing was that Shelton was salivating like a hungry Houndoom . " Pleased to meet you , James , " Shelton grinned , her voice giggling as she said his name . " You ain 't from Pewter , are you ? " James asked . Dorian watched the scene before him unfold in disgust , completely unaccustomed to Shelton 's blatant flirting . She was swooning over this man with no regard to what she looked like ; which to Dorian was akin to her asking for a three course dinner at a hardware store . Spying two children kicking a ball past them , Dorian took the opportunity to put Shelton out of her misery . " Oh come on , " Shelton replied . " Seriously Dorian , every woman between twelve and ninety - five with a pulse would think he 's hot . " " Did you just come up with that , or is that saying something you 've heard somewhere before ? " " You 're both morons , " Shelton moaned , clearly exasperated by the conversation . Just as Shelton was about to expand on her point , Dorian felt his phone vibrate in his pocket . Flipping his phone open , he said , " You better have a good reason for ignoring my call , I feel almost violated . " " It 's actually kind of complicated . I 'm leaving the museum , but I 'm under a sort of academic house arrest . The director gave the order to send the excavation team out a few days earlier than expected , which forced me to tell him about your discovery . " " To say the least . He was angry at first that I kept this from him , but his mood quickly changed as he realized that the find could save the museum a lot of money . The pictures you sent me sufficed for the moment , but he 's asked me to get the marker from you and bring it to him . " " Don 't worry about it , " Ronnie replied . " I 'm already on my way to the house , so I 'll just grab it when I get there . There 's still a composition test I want to do before I present it . " He looked over to Nuzleaf and Shelton to tell them what Ronnie said , but stopped when he noticed what appeared to be a fire near the southern entrance of the city . Squinting , he saw the fire flare brighter for a second , then vanish completely in a flash of red light . After deciding that it was probably just some random trainer battle , he turned back to his roommate . Ethan quickly dismounted his Rapidash as she trotted to a stop . They were situated at the outskirts of Pewter , only a stone 's throw away from the southern gate . He quickly looked around for his Scyther , dry grass crunching loudly beneath his boots . Confident that his Scyther would arrive momentarily , Ethan turned back to examine the city . A red shingled Pokemon Center sat up the right , while farther back and to the left resided an almost depressed looking market ; its blue roof cracked and weathered with age . Houses were strewn across the city like random fallen raindrops , with no order or discernible pattern to their placement . Slabs of rock decorated the ground every few hundred feet , some no bigger than basketballs , while others were as large as cars ; a testament to the city 's rocky beginning . Ethan hated all of it ; it was so , unorganized . There weren 't even clear paths for people to walk on , instead there were just random trails of stomped grass crisscrossing in every direction . This poor excuse of a city was nothing compared to his home in Saffron , where manicured lawns and glass high - rises reigned supreme . Ethan would deal with this situation quickly and get back home ; back to a place with proper people and actual order . There was a rustling of limbs , and a shadow appeared between the nearest trees . Scyther forced herself through the tight overgrowth , making an effort to keep her left arm hidden behind her back . Her eyes lit up as she saw her master , and shuffled over to stand next to Alakazam . Before she took a step however , Ethan quickly jumped forward and grabbed her left arm , twisting it roughly towards himself . The sword that made up his Pokemon 's lower arm had been burned severely , turning her dark green color a putrid black . Scyther looked back at him guiltily , trying to wrench her arm out of his grasp . " What happened ? " Ethan hissed . " Saisa , " she moaned as his grip tightened . " Stop , " Ethan ordered . " It serves you right . Slicing electrical cables is something a Beedrill would do , not you . Did I not express how important this was ? What were you thinking ? " " You 're not getting off that easy , " Ethan replied , clamping down on her arm so hard that his hand began to cramp . " Scyther ! " she yelled , tearing her arm from his gasp . Her sword came loose quickly , though not before it tore a pencil width gash across his wrist . She held her arm to her chest , trying her best to look apologetic ; which was something she rarely succeeded at , owing to the fact that she was never sorry about anything . " This is important , and there is no room for error , " Ethan informed the frightened bug . Wincing , he flexed his right arm and closed his eyes in an effort to center himself . After a moment , he opened them again to see the wound on his wrist healing , black smoke drifting out of the hole . Moments later , the cut was gone , leaving no trace that it had ever happened . " Saisai , " Scyther explained , pointing with her uninjured arm back through the trees . Fuming with more anger than he had before he got to town , Ethan followed his Scyther into the dense forest , trying his best not to make any noise . Alakazam followed behind , doing rapid multiplication in his head to occupy his mind . The trio quickly made their way across the town , keeping far enough into the forest that they couldn 't be seen . After a few minutes , Scyther halted , staring at a house about a hundred yards away . They were there , in all their thieving glory . A red mist came over Ethan and he started forward , his hands shaking with rage . Alakazam grabbed him right before he got out of reach , causing him to turn around . The psychic Pokemon pointed towards the group Ethan was walking towards , motioning at the numerous other people that were walking nearby . Ethan took a breath to calm himself . His Alakazam was right ; it was far too crowded to risk any sort of unprovoked attack . With slow and deliberate steps , Ethan pushed himself through the woods to peek around the last tree that separated the two groups . As he came to the edge of the trees , the shard in his pocket began to vibrate . Shaking his head , he returned back to the game he and Nuzleaf were playing . The game was an amalgamation of different situations they 've been put through over the years , and they were still in the process of perfecting the rules . Basically , they faced each other about fifteen yards away from each other and stood completely still . One of them expanded a pokeball , and threw it at the other as hard as they could . You could aim for any area on the person you wished , but if you flinched or dodged out of the way , you earned yourself a penalty . Their current penalty was that the other person could give them a punch to the gut , without any sort of padding or protection whatsoever . To them it was a fair game , because if you showed courage , you usually took a pokeball to the skull , and if you showed cowardice , you were rewarded with a punch to the stomach . The only real way to win was for the other person to miss every time while remaining completely still . " Nunuz ! " Nuzleaf answered , his eyes squeezed tightly shut . The ball missed him by several feet , causing him to blow Dorian a raspberry and take off after it . A laugh to his left caused him to look over . Machoke was giggling slightly at Dorian 's failed attempt , his voice much deeper than it had been as a Machop . On one hand , Dorian was glad Machoke had calmed down enough to relax , as there had been a pretty stressful situation when he was released a few minutes ago . Dorian had been talking to Shelton as he and Nuzleaf lined up to play their game when she had decided to release Machoke for the first time since returning him right after he had evolved . The fighting Pokemon had materialized in a shower of white energy , standing almost as tall as Dorian in his new form . The only problem was , he had taken shape completely nude . As soon as Machoke 's eyes took in his new form and the area he was in , he quickly started crying and covering his lower body in embarrassment . Shelton had tried to calm him down , only to have her Pokemon start stomping the ground in angst , creating cracks in the road with his newfound brawn . Machoke had only calmed down once Dorian pulled out a pair of his own boxer briefs from his bag and handed them to him . Now , Machoke was seated on the ground next to Shelton , Dorian 's boxers being stretched to their limit by his bulging muscles . Shelton was sitting next to him , her head leaning against her Pokemon 's shoulder . She hadn 't stopped touching Machoke since he had emerged from his ball , convinced that something else would befall him if he wandered too far away from her . " It 's not as easy as you might think . So how about you mind your own busi - , " Dorian started , only to be cut off by a fiery glaze sent at him by Shelton . Just as Dorian turned back towards Nuzleaf , he paused , his back pocket was vibrating . It was odd though , as he distinctly remembered putting his phone in his front pocket . Shaking his head , he reached into his back pocket and pulled it out ; but it wasn 't his phone he had retrieved , it was the shard . It was pulsing lightly , almost like a gentle heartbeat . Dorian didn 't understand why the marker was moving . It didn 't have anything inside it , at least to the best of his knowledge it didn 't . " Why are you looking at that thing like that ? " Shelton asked . " You little bastard ! " Dorian yelled , bending down and picking up the ball . " I wasn 't paying attention ! That 's a free shot from ten feet ! " In a rage , Dorian darted forward , the pokeball in his right hand , the pulsing shard in his left . As he closed to about ten feet away , Dorian drew back and hurled the ball at Nuzleaf , its red surface gleaming . Nuzleaf barely ducked in time as the ball streaked towards him , causing it to miss him by several inches . The ball continued on its course , slicing through the air like a knife . As it connected with the hedge that circled Ronnie 's house , there was a loud squeal , a flash of white light , and a tiny snap as it closed itself back up . " I know what to do , " Dorian replied , walking over to the hedge . It took him a moment to dig through the thick foliage , but his hands found the trembling pokeball . Standing back up , he rolled it in his hand , his mind a mix of anticipation and confusion . With a loud ding , the return button of the ball blinked red rapidly , signaling a successful capture . Taking a quick breath , Dorian pressed the return button , opening the ball and spilling out its contents . A shape began to materialize on the ground in front of them , bathing their half circle in a bright white glow . Starting at the ground , a thick black tail in the winding shape of a coil appeared , followed by a sizeable , similarly colored tube - like stomach . Two stubby arms became visible next , followed by two rosy circles of fur underneath inky black eyes . By far the most distinguishing characteristic of the now fully formed Pokemon was a large pink pearl clamped tightly between its tiny ears . " Spoink ? " the Pokemon repeated , looking at Dorian like he was some sort of extraterrestrial . Its eyes drifted over the rest of the group , narrowing slightly when it came to the hulking form of Machoke . Coming back to Dorian , the Spoink spied the open pokeball clutched in Dorian 's right hand . Its eyes widened to the extreme , and its mouth dropped open . " Wai - , " Dorian started , only to stop short as he was yanked off the ground and thrown backwards through the air . Dorian 's vision blurred as he flew backwards , the world passing by him too quickly to focus . Just before the force carrying him dropped its hold , he managed to turn his head around to see where he was going to land . Dorian began flailing his arms wildly in vain , yelling through clenched teeth as his body came down on the twitching mass of sliced electrical cables in front of his uncle 's house . Pain , unimaginable pain , coursed through his body in torrents as the electricity surged across his flesh . Almost as soon as that one agonizing second commenced , it was over , and he pushed himself up off the ground . Shivering and covered with goose bumps , Dorian struggled to understand why the temperature had changed so dramatically . Remembering what he had fallen into , Dorian quickly leaped to the left , putting him out of the way of the cables . As he looked down to where he had just jumped from , he gasped . His body was still lying on the ground , twitching and contorting in agony as electricity billowed across it . He almost fainted on the spot as he looked at his body on the ground , his mind being torn in half by the paradox that was taking shape in front of him . He was standing to the side , he wasn 't still on the cables ; he had jumped , hadn 't he ? As he watched his body on the ground , he noticed two things . First , that his body on the ground was spasming far too slowly ; and looking up he could see Nuzleaf in the distance running towards his body on the ground , but he was moving slow as well , like he was stuck in slow motion . The second thing he noticed was that the blue electricity surging across his frame on the ground was all moving to one point , to the shard still clutched in his left hand . Dorian raised his left hand in his standing body and saw that the same shard was in that hand as well , the only difference being that it was glowing . How was it in both hands ? Despite the fact that he was having an out of body experience , that question kept forcing its way into his mind . How were they in both hands ? Just as he asked himself the question again , the black shard started pulsing . Harder and harder it pulsed , vibrating so hard that Dorian could barely hang on to it . He couldn 't understand the situation unfolding in front of him ; it was so far beyond the realm of his comprehension that all he could do was stare blankly at the softly glowing object . Well , almost all he could do . He figured out he could still scream ; which is exactly what he did when the shard wrapped itself around his left hand and yanked him into the sky . Posts 1 , 116 Woo ! " Filler chapter ! " Dorian and Shelton 's Pokemon were all out of their respective balls , clapping softly as Trapinch approached . Well , almost all of them . Considering the narrator is not a " character " ( at least has not been portrayed as such ) , it seems odd for the narrator to say something like " Well , almost all of them " . It sounds a bit too colloquial for an unquestioned narration . Do you know what I mean ? There 's nothing wrong with giving your narrator some flavor and personality , but it hasn 't had one to this point , so this threw me . " I was hoping that a win might finally make you evolve , " Dorian said . " It 's alright though . I know you 're as eager to get rid of those pains as I am . Maybe it 'll happen next time Trapinch began to growl loudly , tapping into the growing process that his kind was sometimes afforded . His skin suddenly transformed into sickly hues of yellow and green . His eyes began to bulge and turn a lustrous olive as his backbone began to stretch and wiggle trough the back of his thick hide . Crimson blood streamed down his sides as a pair of regal looking , rhombus shaped wings burst out from underneath his skin . Growling louder now , the bones in his face began to change shape , becoming thinner , narrower , becoming almost brittle in their lightness . As a pair of antenna burst out of Trapinch 's forehead , his new tail split in two , mirroring the shape and color of its new wings . Yeah , see . . . that was good . Very powerful visuals . I just would liked to have seen hints of the changes earlier . But still . . . very nice ! " Look kid , I 'm not in the mood to battle you , " Dorian said , his mood bypassing annoyance and going straight to exasperation . " I don 't care if we locked eyes , I don 't have to adhere to your need to prove yourself . How old are you anyway ? Twelve ? " " I 'm fourteen ! " the kid yelled . " It 's in the rules ! If you look at me , and I look back at you , we have to battle . I 'll call the Pokemon Battle Association if you don 't ! " " What makes you think I care ? Do you think that 's going to change my mind ? Kid , before you threaten someone , you need to make sure you have something to take away from them . " " Are you off your medication ? I have at least twelve years experience on you , " Dorian said , bringing his head down to the teen 's level . " Where are your parents ? I 'm feeling the sudden urge to tell them what an annoying little bastard you are . " You like to make fun of the game tropes . That was at least two right there . It 's fun to ridicule the sillier aspects of the games , but be careful not to overdo it . It 's hard to juxtapose the realism of Trapinch 's bloody , pain evolution against the silliness of those things . I know that you are ridiculing the silliness of them , but it 's still feeling a TAD BIT forced to do so . But don 't worry , it 's amusing to read either way . - What an odd note to end the chapter on . It makes me feel there is more to this kid and his Beedrill than meets the eye . I 'm curious as to how this battle wraps up and what it 's leading to , so I might sneak a peak at chapter 5 before heading off . As far as filler chapters go , this wasn 't bad . I like filler because it develops character . We didn 't really get MUCH of that here , but the writing was still very enjoyable . Posts 3 , 228 All caught up ! But I 'm on my iPod right now so I can 't give an in depth review . As I told you already , I loved chapter 8 . It has to be my favorite so far . I had thought you killed Golduck . I was going to cry , but I 'm happy to see that he is alive . The Graveler incident wrapped up very nicely . I expect both Dorian and Shelton to grow from it . I love how you portrayed Shelton when she saw the workman . Seems like you have women pinned down . ; P Ethan becoming more and more frustrated was a nice touch . It seems he 's ready to pull his hair out . Keep up the good work . Until next time . Well , I think it would have protected him but it wasn 't activated at the time . The device needs to be switched on to be able to block attacks . So if he 's not in a battle or dangerous situation , I think he leaves it off to save power . Lol now that I think about it , it is pretty similar . However , no , its my own invention . I use that catch phrase irl , and it annoys my fiance to no end . Considering the narrator is not a " character " ( at least has not been portrayed as such ) , it seems odd for the narrator to say something like " Well , almost all of them " . It sounds a bit too colloquial for an unquestioned narration . Do you know what I mean ? There 's nothing wrong with giving your narrator some flavor and personality , but it hasn 't had one to this point , so this threw me . I see what you mean . You 're actually the second person to suggest that very thing . I flirted with the idea before , but with Trapinch I decided that the way I went was my favorite . Who knows , you may see some of what you suggested if any more of their pokemon evolve . You like to make fun of the game tropes . That was at least two right there . It 's fun to ridicule the sillier aspects of the games , but be careful not to overdo it . It 's hard to juxtapose the realism of Trapinch 's bloody , pain evolution against the silliness of those things . I know that you are ridiculing the silliness of them , but it 's still feeling a TAD BIT forced to do so . But don 't worry , it 's amusing to read either way . On one hand , I was making fun of the games , but the main reason the kid said those things because his character is really bent on following rules at all costs and sticking to exactly what his manual says . That 'll become apparent in later chapters as he slowly works himself back into the story . I 'll keep what you said in mind . I see what you mean . You 're actually the second person to suggest that very thing . I flirted with the idea before , but with Trapinch I decided that the way I went was my favorite . Who knows , you may see some of what you suggested if any more of their pokemon evolve . Working on a review and saw this . I have a problem with that form of evolution . It makes snese to me for a Pokemon to be preparing , like a bear for hibernation , and then let the actual change happen more instantaniously , but if you go the drawn out route , what do you do with Pokemon liek Remoraid ? Halfway through evolution , . uyou have this finless red rock thing with dumpy little limbs not quite long enough to move its proportionally oversize head , and the flins it had as a Remoraid have mostly retreated into its Octillery body . You have this fish that can 't feed itself . . . On the subject of the evolution method , I think it 's a good idea and waaay more realistic than in the games and anime , but I see Glover 's point about certain Pokémon that would struggle with this method . But what if certain Pokémon , such as Remoraid , had developed faster evolution so that they wouldn 't have to go as long without food ? That 's just an idea on my part , feel free to say it 's terrible . " Shut it . Just because you had one good idea does not mean that I have a higher opinion of you . Besides , you still owe me for rent , " Shelton snarled . I think you portray the relationship between Dorian and Shelton really well . You have a good balance between Shelton 's scathing nudges but not making it seem too forced . He felt Alakazam flinch behind him as the words crossed his mind ; having no doubt that the psychic type had heard . Unfazed , Ethan used his heels to spurn Rapidash faster , his body starting to almost vibrate with eagerness . The forest they were traveling through morphed into a ring of brown and black as they sped up , Ethan 's eyes unable to focus due to the wind howling into them . He knew that Rapidash was already pushed to the edge of her abilities , but he dug his heels into her harder ; fire in his eyes and murder in his heart . Another thing I like is the way you 're portraying Ethan . He 's slowly getting more and more violent in his pursuit of Dorian and Shelton , and the fact that Alakazam doesn 't wholly agree with him is a nice touch on the lines of making sure all the Pokémon have personalitites . It also means he 's a tiny bit more unpredictable . I know I ought to point out the negative points of this fic as well as going " You portrayed this well , you wrote that well " , but tbh I can 't see anything that you desparately need to work on . Future reviews probably won 't be quite as in - depth ( by my standards anyway ) , but they will definitely come . Looking forward to the next chapter . Originally Posted by Missingno . Master And my authorish side must tell you that logic doesn 't trump diddly in this story . Klang can fart . Plain and simple . Working on a review and saw this . I have a problem with that form of evolution . It makes snese to me for a Pokemon to be preparing , like a bear for hibernation , and then let the actual change happen more instantaniously , but if you go the drawn out route , what do you do with Pokemon liek Remoraid ? Halfway through evolution , . uyou have this finless red rock thing with dumpy little limbs not quite long enough to move its proportionally oversize head , and the flins it had as a Remoraid have mostly retreated into its Octillery body . You have this fish that can 't feed itself . . . I see your point as well . I like my idea of spontaneous violent evolution the best , but subtle changes beforehand , like change of eye color , skin color , beginnings of a tail , etc , are something that I may or may not decide to do . As long as the small changes don 't affect the Pokemon to the point where they can 't function normally , I don 't see a problem with it . Lol , I 'll probably end up sticking to my version Thanks ! Their relationship is one area I think is really integral to the story , so its been something I 've been trying really hard on . Thanks for noticing . I 'm sure she was , which is why the first thing she did after she was able to rest was start eating . . . . WHAT ? Argh , massive cliffhanger ! ;_ ; I hope Dorian doesn 't die . I like Dorian . I like their interactions here a lot . You do a good job at showing how they get along yet how they like to playfully fight with each other . ( Also , this is like my dream situation . I like being lazy . ) Well , this explains a lot . Yay for Dorian and Shelton backstory ! Now that I think about it , anyway , I prefer them to have sibling - like relationship rather than a romantic one . I wouldn 't really use the word " obviously " in third person . It can make the readers feel dumb especially if they don 't realize what you 're actually trying to say . Also expecting your readers to know things is silly . If you said , however : " it was obvious to Ethan that Alakazam was trying to keep them both level … " or something , that 'd be fine , since it 's attributed to your character , not the readers . Hope that makes sense . Ignorance does not excuse a crime , and this was an offense that would not be forgiven . Amusing . Oh , Shelton , you 're such a flirt . She was swooning over this man with no regard to what she looked like ; which to Dorian was akin to her asking for a three course dinner at a hardware store . Even more amusing . I 'd totally like to see this scene . And it 's just like Dorian to be like … what the hell are you doing ? LOL . A course a guy would say no . Also , I like the hint of Dorian not liking people from other regions . I 've seen a lot of rivalry between regions being implemented in fics , and I 've always found it pretty interesting . It 's kind of like the pokémon version of racism … since no one ever seems to have actual race prominent in their fics . Nuzleaf randomly showing up LOL . If even the pokémon know you 're kinda going around too much , then that sounds like a pretty big deal . " Yeah , " Dorian replied . " He 's coming . " Lol , at first I think Ronnie , but you cut this section off at the perfect point to where the readers realizes - well , * * * * , Ethan 's coming too . Confident that his Scyther would arrive momentarily , Ethan turned back to examine the city . A red shingled Pokemon Center sat up the right , while farther back and to the left resided an almost depressed looking market ; its blue roof cracked and weathered with age . Houses were strewn across the city like random fallen raindrops , with no order or discernible pattern to their placement . Slabs of rock decorated the ground every few hundred feet , some no bigger than basketballs , while others were as large as cars ; a testament to the city 's rocky beginning . This is a very interesting and descriptive take on Pewter City . Yeah , it 's supposed to be a really ancient city and kind of old , but the games / anime never really show that . I like this a lot . " You 're not getting off that easy , " Ethan replied , clamping down on her arm so hard that his hand began to cramp . As evil as it sounds , I really like this part . It shows just how serious Ethan is about this situation . He 's willing to go pretty damn far for it , even if it means that his pokémon get hurt . The only problem was , he had taken shape completely nude . As soon as Machoke 's eyes took in his new form and the area he was in , he quickly started crying and covering his lower body in embarrassment . Poor Machoke . This is a pretty interesting take on the pokémon . Usually they 're all supposed to have heavyweight belts or something , but it just doesn 't make sense for them to materialize out of nowhere . I like this realistic take on Machoke . It also gave great insight to his character . : P Poor guy . I also liked the ending a lot . Looks like Dorian 's going through something similar that Ethan does because of the stone . Out - of - body experiences can certainly be interesting . Overall , your description was really good in this chapter , as usual . I could see everything very clearly . There was also a lot more interactive dialogue in this chapter , I think … And I think you 're getting a lot better at it . You really know how to portray a character 's personality and such through their words alone , which is a good skill to have . Anyway , I look forward to seeing more . | | survival project | | phantom project | | Posts 526 Sorry for the delay , but its here now . I tried to find any remaining grammatical errors , but I 'm still not that good in that area , so please correct me if any of my statements prove to be false . Well , let 's get started . Requiem , an interesting choice for a story title . It means a church service for someone who has died , or a piece of music for that service , a slightly morbid piece of foreshadowing in my opinion . Still , catchy title . Originally Posted by Sidewinder Supposed to be inseparable . A very well written start to this story . You explain the boy 's childhood and give us many details of his situation including the fact that he has an Abra with similar issues . The scene with the chamber is a little rushed in my opinion , going from the boy losing sight of the tour group to being attacked by a wild Pokemon to getting dragged through a wall to the alter and the crystal , but this is the prologue so I guess its all right if its short . A great chapter , you described the Growlithe battle with much detail as well as introducing Dorian and Nuzleaf . Shelton is well on her way to becoming my favorite character , her no - nonsense attitude and treatment of Dorian who is a polar opposite of her make for quite the funny scene . I 'd like to mention the passage at the end of the chapter . This man is a strange character , he doesn 't show the signs of an outright antagonist - in fact the prologue makes him seem more like a protagonist with his new powers and the voices . You set up his story so that his quest will eventually intersect with Dorian and Shelton now that Dorian has that artifact . Originally Posted by Sidewinder Nothing wrong with this passage , I just found it funny . It 's a sign of a good author when they can input humor into a story and not detract from the main plot . Originally Posted by Sidewinder " Well , from the limited amount of information we 've gathered on the marker 's , they 're supposedly forged from metal ; but out of a rare ore we think is obsidian . Though we don 't know for sure because there is so little discovered throughout the world today , only a few grams or so . We know that from their description , its jet black , weighing much less than other metal ore 's they would have had access to back then . From what the Director is thinking , he attributed it more to a hollow , glossy diamond , instead of metal . " Again , a well written chapter . A few grammatical errors , but the number of them is decreasing as more chapters pass . Which is always a good sign of improvement . We see the financial situation that Dorian and Shelton are in , which , provides a good incentive for them to deliver the artifact to Dorian 's uncle ( I know that doesn 't happen until chapter three , but I 'm pointing it out now ) . And the man 's quest for the shards , and absorbing them , nice description with that . Originally Posted by Sidewinder The man didn 't know where they were going next , but he knew that the next time he slept , he would be told . He was always told where to go and how to better himself and his Pokemon . The voices would whisper to him in his dreams , guiding him towards additional power , guiding him to more knowledge , and eventually , guiding him to his destiny . And now we are introduced to a new character of sorts , the voices . While we don 't know whether the man is the villain of this story yet , we know that it is these voices that guide him on his quest for some unknown reason . You 're introducing his character slowly , so that the readers only see a small bit of his personality at a time . A nice touch , his " destiny " adds another bit of mystery to the plot . Originally Posted by Sidewinder " No . That catch phrase is never going to catch on . Besides that , its barely a catch phrase . Its just random words that have nothing to do with our current situation . " I 'm not sure on this one , but it sounds better if it said " quickly " not " quick " . The few errors aside , a good chapter . This is where the real adventure begins . I find it a little strange that Dorian just found that rare artifact covered by a thin layer of dirt , while the others were in hidden , underground chambers that had to be forced open with a Pokemon attack . I realize that it 's for the plot , but I 'm not sure why this certain artifact was so easy to find . Just a little oddity I was wondering about . As of this chapter , Dorian and Shelton , and even Ethan 's characters seem to be developing steadily , with details of back - story and personality being revealed gradually as to not overwhelm readers . You have an excellent balance of plot development , character development , details , and humor . You also make the Pokemon very memorable and make their individual personalities shine . Yet another reason why I enjoy this story . When you are doing quick back - and - forth dialogue , you don 't need the names and verbs ( " Dorian exclaimed " , etc . Just let it flow , untagged line after untagged line . It will feel a LOT more natural , and will read just as it is supposed to . As long as each character has a distinctive voice , the readers should be able to keep up with the flow for several lines at a time . The cliff face to the left began to shift . Slowly at first , almost accidentally , as if it was struggling to decide whether it wanted to keep its shape . White eyes opened along the expanse of the cliff , blinking slowly . Upon closer inspection , legs and arms became visible . The roughly hewn limbs made out of the same rock they were latched onto . The shapes communicated by moving themselves against the rocks , listening to the craggy vibrations that were made when they did so I LOVE the part about the Geodude / Graveler / Whatever communicating through vibration . That 's incredibly realistic and creative . I 'm not enamored with the " Upon closer inspection , legs and arms became visible " line because that sounds almost like script direction than actual prose . Do you get what I mean ? - The ending was fantastic , and I loved the bit with Golduck and Machop and their relationship with Golduck trying to reassure , and later protect him . This is a nice , interesting plot twist to interrupt the main storyline . No Ethan , just the new threat of angry Gravelers . And the two biggest threats to them were neutralized first ? Angry SMART Gravelers . The semi - colon needs to be a comma . Semi - colons indicate that a sentence can be split into two separate ones without being fragments . Commas separate the fragments that wouldn 't pass as regular sentences . If you don 't want to replace the semi - colon , you might want to replace " having " with " he had " . I know that the worker is supposed to have a bit of an accented drawl , and I love the fact that you gave him a noticeable accent and personality ; it makes him all the more memorable . However , the two bolded words were misspelled . " Folks " shouldn 't have an apostrophe ; it 's a single word that would denote Dorian and Shelton . And the apostrophe in " y ' all " is supposed to be between the " y " and the " a " , since it 's a shortened version of " you all " . Ethan hated all of it ; it was so , unorganized . There weren 't even clear paths for people to walk on , instead there were just random trails of stomped grass crisscrossing in every direction . This poor excuse of a city was nothing compared to his home in Saffron , where manicured lawns and glass high - rises reigned supreme . Ethan would deal with this situation quickly and get back home ; back to a place with proper people and actual order . Shaking his head , he reached into his back pocket and pulled it out ; but it wasn 't his phone he had retrieved , it was the shard . It was pulsing lightly , almost like a gentle heartbeat . Dorian didn 't understand why the marker was moving . It didn 't have anything inside it , at least to the best of his knowledge it didn 't . I actually felt sorry for Scyther , and I don 't blame her at all for lashing out at her trainer . Hell , I don 't think she should 've apologized for that ; what Ethan did to her was completely unnecessary and cruel , especially when she showed that she did feel bad about cutting the cable wires . I also felt sorry for Rapidash ; he pushed her way beyond her limits and then wouldn 't let her rest or eat . I truly think that Ethan , in his madness , is going to end up killing one of his own Pokemon . I just wonder if it would be an accident or on purpose . I also wonder which one would end up paying the ultimate price . The characterization of Dorian and Shelton was nice to see . It 's really amusing to see their interactions with each other . The part where Shelton fell head over heels for a mere electrician and Dorian 's reaction was especially hilarious . " [ C ] hucked " . Unless they spewed them at him . Which . . . ew . The Graveler threw the rocks they were holding , each handful tripling in size as they raced towards their target . I was curious about this . Is it a Graveler power , to increase the size of the rocks ? Or was it just describing the change in Nuzleaf 's percerption of them as they got closer to him ? You 're going to get REAL TIRED , REAL FAST of me talking about the Pokeflect , but to me , it 's such a fascinating concept . Would the Pokeflect work if given TO a pokemon ? If not , why not just give them some ? I can imagine that in battle they 'd be barred , but for just journeying around ? Hell , I 'd give my Pokemon at least one ! It would make them indestructible to random acts like this . It was just then that Shuppet wailed , the noise resonating in his eardrums like a nearby foghorn . Wow , obscure reference for the win . When I first read that , I thought " What , like the cartoon rooster ? " I can just see Shuppet saying " Why , I say , son , I say . . . ! " As Dorian rolled to a stop , he shouted , " Growlithe , use flamethrower ! Shuppet , shadow ball ! " The attacks merged together as they hit their target , Growlithe 's flames turning a sickly shade of black and grey . Also , very creative . Combining attacks to make a multi - purpose kind of blast . Very well - done creatively . I can imagine only about a thousand uses for such a concept . Judging from their shattered flesh they had died from the demolition charges that the road crew had planted . I 'm telling you , this entire story could be about the Pokeflect , and I 'd be happy . What a wonderful toy . - I have to say , I 'm obviously not happy that Golduck had to die , but it almost had to happen . Golduck had , to this point and ESPECIALLY in this chapter , proven to be way too powerful . Not that he shouldn 't have been , but it had me thinking " What can really stand up to this thing ? " So it makes sense he had to sacrifice himself . I 'm guessing some of the humor is going to fade out now , at least on some scale . Dorian probably won 't be so headstrong and fun - loving now that he 's seen someone so close to him perish . Which is kind of a shame , but I 'll see where you go from here . Serebii FanFiction 2014 Awards Posts 979 Hi ! I 'm new to this fic and as such have only read through chapter one , but I 'm totally hooked . The Pokeflect is a nice touch , sounding like a very real invention that totally would be needed as technology increases . I like the world you 've created , and I 'm intrigued as to how the Granite Cave boy will connect with Dorian . I also really enjoy his Trapinch 's gradual shift to evolution . It 's a neat touch . ^ This is my new fanfic . It 's a work in progress , so please read and comment at your discretion . I hope you like it . I think you will . Oof . This made me wince . Good description . " He 's dead Shelton , " Dorian said . " I saw , s - saw the energy discharge from his head right before the rock Pokemon hit him . He couldn 't have survived it . I mean , I saw it swallow his body . " Okay , I was curious as to why Golduck just . . . exploded earlier . Not saying that it wasn 't well - written to end chapter six , but I thought the Gravelers had exploded IT . This way makes more sense ; I had just misunderstood , I guess . Shelton backed up several paces , her hands hooking into claws . Golduck couldn 't be dead ! He wouldn 't leave her , not like this , not ever . She drug her hands across her scalp , trying in vain to tear the thought away . She looked around , studying the scene before her . Tears came faster when she saw Machop 's body , pitching her into even more despair . His frail frame was broken , his legs bent into odd angles . She rushed forward , only to stop in place . Golduck and Machop , both of them were hurt . Shelton knew Golduck wasn 't dead ; it wasn 't even something she could comprehend . She was stuck in place , unable to decide what to do . She wanted to climb out of the crater and find Golduck , but at the same time she couldn 't just leave Machop . Indecision rooted her , turned her into molasses . Time slowed , her thoughts became even more muddled . Machop or Golduck , Machop or Golduck ? This shocked me out of the story because , to my knowledge , the narration had not previously been attached to Shelton . Yet , all of the sudden , here it was , and the reader was inside her head instead of Dorian 's . I might have missed the narration being inside everyone 's head earlier , but I thought it was exclusive to Dorian ( except with Ethan and Alakazam were " on - screen " ) . Dorian knew she was capable of a complete mental breakdown and that she was well on her way . Oh ? What is this tasty morsel ? Foreshadowing AND character development ? Me likey . The duck Pokemon was firmly embedded in the rock wall in front of Dorian . His tongue hung limp out of his open bill , saliva dripping down to pool on the ground below . Golduck 's lifeless pupils were dilated to the extreme , speaking volumes of the inactivity behind them . As Dorian kept looking up , he saw that the small jewel in Golduck 's forehead had shattered , leaving a gaping hole . Lavender psychic energy drifted lazily out of the gap in his skull , forming a bubble above Golduck 's head . Regardless of Dorian 's intentions , the red beam continued forward , striking the sapphire avian in the sternum . Golduck 's body morphed into solid energy and returned to his Pokeball . Dorian stared at the red and ivory ball in his hand , a few tears rolling sideways off of its glossy surface . Or maybe not . - I 'm not sure what I think about Golduck possibly being alive . In chapter 6 I thought Golduck was overpowered and that was before I realize he caused that explosion . . . and was able to survive it . I 'm not sure at this point what could possibly threaten these two characters with this Golduck on their team ( except , possibly an even more powerful psychic type , and GEE WHERE MIGHT THEY ENCOUNTER ONE OF THOSE ? ) - I like the notion of Machop 's body basically forcing an evolution as a means of survival . It makes even more sense why you 've chosen to display evolution the way you had previously now . Very foresightful of you . It was quite a unique desperation tactic by Machop 's body , though . I wonder just how common this may or may not be . Hm . - You know what ? I haven 't missed Ethan at all . I have adored the chapters recently without him . I don 't mean to say that he wasn 't interesting , but it was a joy to read all the Graveler stuff without interruption .
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I 'm very tired as I do this at the moment , and I gotta say , the sudden action woke me up already . Cool way to get back into the action that was present before Ethan 's chapter , especially now that there 's an interesting comparison ( before , they were fighting enemies , and now , they 're fighting each other ) . The two had been sparing for the better part of an hour , both being pushed to the edge of their physical limits as they struggled to best one another . I 'd also put a comma instead of a semi - colon . From what I 've learned , the sentence before and after the semi - colon should be able to be a standalone sentence . But the sentence after the semi - colon here can 't be by itself and still make sense . Nuzleaf climbed onto her lap and looked up at her with his wide eyes , cupping her face softly in his hands as he looked at her . She smiled down at him , touched by the Pokemon 's gesture of affection . Reaching down , she scratched a spot at the small of Nuzleaf 's back , dragging her sharp nails across his wooden body . The sound the nails made as they moved always gave her goose bumps , but Nuzleaf loved it and immediately hugged her close , burying his face in her hair . D ' awwwww , have I ever mentioned how much I love the pokémon Nuzleaf ? This is an adorable image . I 'm going to go be a typical squeeing fangirl now . The once bright sapphire duck 's feathers were now a muted shade of blue , signaling the stress that it had exposed to . Anyway , I agree with Glover when he says that this was a nice conclusion to the Graveler incident . The part I liked the most was going back and forth between Shelton 's grieving over Golduck and the spar between Dorian and Nuzleaf . To me , it was as if the Graveler fight was still happening , in a sense . The fighting spirit and suspense was still entirely present , and you portrayed the idea that all of them were still fighting ( both literally and figuratively ) to live and / or move on with their lives even though there was no real danger present anymore . It makes me reflect on the idea that everyone is always fighting every moment of every day , pretty much . I hope that makes sense . It 's not something I can easily put into words , but it was a good feeling nonetheless . Also , I thought that Dorian and Shelton were a couple ? Am I wrong ? Shelton kissing the technician on the cheek and mentioning falling in love with him seemed odd to me for this reason , and also because she was just unbelievably angry and bitter moments before she did such a thing . I guess it 's understandable that her emotions would be going crazy at the moment , and it was cute nonetheless , but still , it left me wondering about Dorian . Overall , the chapter felt complete and full of emotions , just as the conclusion of such a horrific event should feel . The only thing I might have added was Shelton reflecting on Golduck 's possible feelings of losing his psychic power . Does he value it ? Does Shelton think it won 't effect him ? I mention this because Golduck 's personality wasn 't revealed enough for us readers to know yet ( though I may have just forgotten , in which case , feel free to ignore me ) , but I expect that you 'll be showing the aftereffects soon enough , and you 'll have us as readers wishing we had known him more before the incident as well ( which isn 't a bad thing - I would find that kind of interesting , actually ) . Keep up the good work ~ Anyway , my ramblings aside , this a was a wonderful closure piece to the graveler scene , Although I find it a bit odd that Mr . Thompson didn 't arrange an automated pressure release . The way the spike sounds , it 's like something that must be manually drained . My dad was ona Colostomy bag , such things as manual body drains are not fun . Surely there 's a way to rig a one - way valve , or maybe that 's just not in Viridian 's reprritoire . That 's correct . I see what you 're saying , but for some reason this sounded a little bit better for me . The idea came from the movie ' Three Kings ' . Mark Wahlberg 's character gets shot in the lung at one point , and when his friends have to install this release valve for building air pressure in the lung . Occasionly he has to turn the valve to release the stored pressure , aloowing him to breathe . Ah well thanks ! The bit with the ICU and Golduck 's explanation was actually something I tried really hard on , so I 'm glad you noticed . And yeah , the whole Nurse Joy wonderful attitude happy go lucky thing never really went over well with me . I felt like this was much more realistic , glad you think so too That was something that I wasn 't really sure about . I hoped it would go over well , so I 'm glad you commented on it . I felt like it would be a good way to transition from what was happening right then , while also giving a backstory on the events that happened after the Graveler attack . One thing , you use the phrase " knocking him sprawling " once . I can ; t find anything wrong with it , it 's just a little bit odd to me . Maybe I 'm just used to hearing " Sending him sprawling " which is the exact same thing , just sounds different . I don 't know . Maybe it 's another regional thing . I see what you 're saying . I went back and looked , and I feel like they both work . I 'm going to keep it the way it is , but thanks for bringing it to my attention . Anyway , I agree with Glover when he says that this was a nice conclusion to the Graveler incident . The part I liked the most was going back and forth between Shelton 's grieving over Golduck and the spar between Dorian and Nuzleaf . To me , it was as if the Graveler fight was still happening , in a sense . The fighting spirit and suspense was still entirely present , and you portrayed the idea that all of them were still fighting ( both literally and figuratively ) to live and / or move on with their lives even though there was no real danger present anymore . It makes me reflect on the idea that everyone is always fighting every moment of every day , pretty much . I hope that makes sense . It 's not something I can easily put into words , but it was a good feeling nonetheless . Once again , that was exactly what I was shooting for . I 've always found the relation between emotional / physical trauma and future actions . Back in my wasteful youth days , I got into a fist fight with a few guys and got beat up . It was so loud , and intense , and I had never been in a fight before so it somewhat affected for a few days after that . I 'd hear a loud noise and tense up , like I was expecting it to happen all over again . So I kinda of drew heavily on that for this chapter , if that makes sense . None of them are going to be okay for awhile I think , but you 're right , we fight battles everyday , luckily though its not against hordes of furios rock Pokemon . I won 't deny that if I read this story and wasn 't the writer , I would say they have some obvious chemistry , but no , they 're not together . I mentioned in a few chapters that they 're just roomates , and they have been for a very long time . I 'm actually touching on their back stories some more in the next chapter , and it should firm up their motives and feelings for each other a little more clearly . The only thing I might have added was Shelton reflecting on Golduck 's possible feelings of losing his psychic power . Does he value it ? Does Shelton think it won 't effect him ? That 's going to be gone into before , and after Golduck is healed up and released . I think she was just so relieved that she was close to him again and that he was okay , that she kinda bypassed thinking about the long term ramifications of the loss of that ability . That 's going to be expanded on greatly eventually . It 's going to be alot for him to deal with , and for her as well . Thanks for reviewing once again ! The premise is very interesting ; a young couple delivering a priceless artifact for much needed money and an unbalanced man who will make every effort to stop them . However , I find all of their motives to be compelling , even the antagonist - at least , the person who you 're setting up to be the antagonist . Dorian and Shelton are two young people trying to pay off their bills and care for their Pokemon . Dorian obviously has a dream to be a strong trainer , while Shelton 's motives are a little more unclear ( although I would think that getting married would be one of them ) . Meanwhile , Ethan grew up alone and friendless aside from his Abra / Alakazam . He 's desperate for the voices to stay in his head because they 've been friendly to him . I actually pity him ; he doesn 't know that they might turn on him in an instant . It took three chapters to build up steam , but when the action started . . . I have to admit that I was very impressed . The stress of Dorian and Shelton in the immediate aftermath of the Graveler attack is strikingly realistic , and their emotions plucked at my heartstrings . I could feel their shock , pain , anger , and sadness as if it were my own . I honestly don 't think that you could have done any better than you did . My favorite character right now has to be Alakazam . He 's shown the most personality so far out of all of the Pokemon , and while I like all of the human characters , I feel a certain connection to Alakazam . He 's definitely a wildcard in all of this . When it comes down to it , will he stay loyal to the trainer and friend he 's known since he was an Abra or will he go with his morals and try to save the innocent couple ? What a fascinating dilemma . . . Anyway , the plot looks rather sound as well . Like I said , it started out slow at first , but once Dorian and Shelton set out to Pewter , it picked up its pace . It hasn 't slowed down yet , and it has kept my interest at a high level , which is always a good thing when it comes to the average fickle reader . Before I say anything else , I want to correct the bolded parts . The bolded comma is unnecessary and needs to be taken out , and an " s " needs to be added to the end of the word " move " . The apostrophe you used in the second sentence is a typo ; you want quotation marks at the end . However , that 's not what concerned me . Why capitalize " Reflect " and " Light Screen " if you 're not going to capitalize any other Pokemon move ? An element of consistency is needed . You might want to put " Reflect " and " Light Screen " in lower - case , since every other Pokemon move is in lower - case . Commas should be in between each of the two bolded words . Commas should be used whenever there 's a pause in a sentence . The full - stop ( period ) should be a comma , as was said by other readers before me . Like they said , a comma should be used in a spoken sentence , while full - stops can be used if the person is using an action ( for example , Dorian winking at the Growlithe in a previous sentence ) . Going back and correcting that error would be nice . You mispelled Shelton 's name . Just a minor typo that I thought I 'd point out . " That 's great Dorian , I 'm glad that when we get tossed to the street we 'll have a nice warm Growlithe to live in . " she said , rolling her eyes and turning to Nuzleaf . " You hungry sweetheart ? " The period should be replaced with a comma , but that 's not what I wanted to mention . Whenever a character is speaking to someone and addressing them directly , you need to use a comma before or after their name or the title they 're being addressed as , depending on where the word is placed . Basically , since Shelton is addressing Dorian , you need to put a comma between the word " great " and his name . Same with Nuzleaf . Since she 's addressing him as " sweetheart " , you need to place a comma between the two bolded words . The whispers had led him to a cave in the recent months , in the sand swept plains of the desert in Hoenn . The cave bearing another flake he took into himself . The cave he found near Route 111 however had something extra . A shard of stone from the enormous tablet he had seen in Granite Cave years ago . People the man walked past throughout the day forgot him as soon as he passed . A somewhat average looking man with long , wavy tan hair , an Alakazam keeping stride to his right . " The whispers had recently led him to a cave in the sand swept plains of the desert in Hoenn . It had contained another flake , which he had took into himself . However , the cave he found near Route 111 had something else : a shard of stone from the enormous tablet he had seen in Granite Cave years ago . The people that the man walked past throughout the day forgot him as soon as he passed . Even with the Alakazam keeping stride to his right , he was an average - looking man with long , wavy tan hair being the only other physical attribute of note . " I don 't have a problem with your characters so far , but the personalities of the Pokemon could use a bit more description . Show them as themselves . You 've done that with Nuzleaf and Alakazam . Why not show the rest ? Just a thought . You 're the second person to think that Dorian and Shelton are a couple . I tried my best to describe how close they were , and if some people think they 're together , I guess I did just that . But no , they are not a couple . Alot more of their backstory will be revealed in the next chapter . Which should help to put that theory to rest . They 've known each other for a VERY long time , and the closeness of their relationship is just a result of the sibling like love they have for each other . It took three chapters to build up steam , but when the action started . . . I have to admit that I was very impressed . The stress of Dorian and Shelton in the immediate aftermath of the Graveler attack is strikingly realistic , and their emotions plucked at my heartstrings . I could feel their shock , pain , anger , and sadness as if it were my own . I honestly don 't think that you could have done any better than you did . I 'm glad you noticed . It was one part that I tried really hard on . I 'm glad its gone over so well with so many people . Thanks ! ^^ My favorite character right now has to be Alakazam . He 's shown the most personality so far out of all of the Pokemon , and while I like all of the human characters , I feel a certain connection to Alakazam . He 's definitely a wildcard in all of this . When it comes down to it , will he stay loyal to the trainer and friend he 's known since he was an Abra or will he go with his morals and try to save the innocent couple ? What a fascinating dilemma . . . I don 't have a problem with your characters so far , but the personalities of the Pokemon could use a bit more description . Show them as themselves . You 've done that with Nuzleaf and Alakazam . Why not show the rest ? Just a thought . You 're completely right . Right before I saw your review , I told myself the exact same thing . They are all an integral part of the story , and I 'm not doing right by them if I dont expand on them more . In the coming chapters , you 'll see alot more of their personalities . Shall I add you to the PM list then ? And thanks very much for the review . I really appreciate it as you pointed out some things that I know could use some polishing . To everyone else reading / reviewing , the new chapter should be out by Monday night . - I 'm wondering why the boy didn 't feel connected to his adoptive parents . I get that they aren 't his real birth parents , but I wonder why he seems so . . . mad about them . They certainly seem nice . Is the boy going through a rebellious time ? I 'm stuck with this question , and I hope it gets delved into . SLAM ! I 'm not a particularly big fan of sound - effects in prose , but to each their own . I get that it 's a preference thing . the soft skin on his arms tearing easily on the ground as he rolled to a stop . OW . Good image , though . It actually makes me wince when I read it . Excellent work , that . Abra limped towards his master , favoring his left leg . The psychic pokemon 's right leg bore a long gash up the side of its thigh , Usually when someone is " favoring " a leg , that means they are protecting it because it 's the weaker or injured one . So does Abra have two major leg injuries ? Because if I had a long gash on one leg , I might be favoring that , but if the left leg has bone / tendon damage , that would result in favoring it no matter what wound the right leg has . I guess I was just confused here is all . As the boy and his Abra looked in wonder at the strange object , a small stony flake , glistening slightly in the oily light of the conjured orb , began to skitter across the top of the altar , seemingly of its own accord . As the boy and his pokemon noticed the flake , they stiffened , perceiving a new threat . A little unwieldy starting two consecutive sentence with the same lines " As the boy and his . . . " . OVERALL : Very interesting beginning . What the heck kind of serrated blade is so powerful that it cuts through large stone tablets ? I 'd be scared as heck at the thought of that if I were in Boy 's shoes . And I desperately hope we see more of Boy because I really want his backstory with the adoptive parents . Okay , this is a good idea . How haven 't more people been injured by Pokemon ? Because of this device ! I 'm only 2 lines in here , and I very much want to know more about this thing . I think you could make a whole story around this device , actually . Does it protect against , say , a Scyther 's claws ? And if so , would you protect someone from ANY kind of blade ? Or ANY kind of fire ? I have a feeling I might just be digressing , though . " bullet seed ! ' Dorian roared . I 'm actually NOT going to say you need to capitalize the names of moves ( because I don 't , either generally , but you should capitalize the beginning of a sentence . No sooner had he given the command , the Growlithe righted itself and charged his Nuzleaf , orange flame licking the pits of its nostrils . The grass type followed behind , purpose written across its scarred face ; it jumped and landed on top of the Growlithe , using both legs to pin down the pup . I like those . Nice description there . - Okay , I read that one section a few times , and I can 't , for the life of me , figure out what the violet energy that picked up and flipped over Dorian was . Can you explain ? I 'm assuming it was some kind of psychic attack , but was it from Golduck ? Or even Shelton ? What was it ? - Aaannnddd . . . okay , Boy did not grow up to be Dorian . That makes sense , I guess . Boy is going to be . . . the villain of the story ? Maybe ? Way too early to conjecture on that , I suppose . Definitely intrigued by him , though . - I 'm wondering why the boy didn 't feel connected to his adoptive parents . I get that they aren 't his real birth parents , but I wonder why he seems so . . . mad about them . They certainly seem nice . Is the boy going through a rebellious time ? I 'm stuck with this question , and I hope it gets delved into . Usually when someone is " favoring " a leg , that means they are protecting it because it 's the weaker or injured one . So does Abra have two major leg injuries ? Because if I had a long gash on one leg , I might be favoring that , but if the left leg has bone / tendon damage , that would result in favoring it no matter what wound the right leg has . I guess I was just confused here is all . I see what you 're saying . I 'll have to check on that , because my understanding of ' favoring ' , is that you are doing more with that limb than another because the other is somewhat incapacitated . You 're favoring the one that 's in good condition . I 'll check on that to be sure , and If it needs to be changed I 'll do so . Thanks for bringing it to my attention . OVERALL : Very interesting beginning . What the heck kind of serrated blade is so powerful that it cuts through large stone tablets ? I 'd be scared as heck at the thought of that if I were in Boy 's shoes . And I desperately hope we see more of Boy because I really want his backstory with the adoptive parents Anyhoo , I 've noticed you hadn 't named the latest two chapters . Any reasoning for that ? Wait . . . * looks back * Oh durr , you haven 't been using names at all . Your " cause " , " effect " , and " aftermath " caused me to believe that . And now that I think about it , I don 't think they were needed at all . We would 've figured out what the chapter was about without that little reminder . Now to the two chapters I missed . I pity Ethan . He 's going through so much pain to gather up these flakes , and yet these voices keep up this ruse of being friendly to him , and showing gratitude for saving them . Alakazam can see through this , but because of his loyalty to Ethan , he has to do as he says , even though it hurts him more . Man , that 's dark . You really were convincing us Golduck wasn 't going to make it , and the somber piano music I 'm currently playing makes that hurt a lot ( because the song 's just that effective ) . Still , I am happy he 's alive , even though he 's going to be a changed duck from now on . I like the explanations the doctor gave about the gem . Something tells me you did some research a bit before writing that , or at least know a little bit about the brain ( well , biology in general ) , because that 's really impressive . Posts 1 , 116 " I 'm instituting a new rule , " Shelton began , crossing her legs and leaning forward . " From now on , all your decision making privileges have been revoked . Other than involuntary bodily functions you have to perform in order to survive , I want you on the sofa , sitting on your hands at all times . " I 'm curious as to the relationship here . Are they roommates ? Siblings ? Parent and child ? Lovers ? I 'm sure I 'll get it eventually , but I 'm kind of lost on it so far . After a pensive look , Dorian said , " I request the right to argue for a lower amount after I 've thought of a good enough excuse . " I like that . It 's like a good sitcom line . " Machop is under the house again , " she answered . " We were out back pulling weeds , when that soulless Sunflora popped out and started terrorizing him again . Shuppet is in her usual spot " I like this , too , as it really makes them feel like pets ( which I 'm sure you 've realized from my fic is how I more - or - less picture pokemon ) . A Machop getting harassed by an angry Sunflora . . . that really is kind of striking . I can see the Sunflora yipping at it when I recreate the scene in my head . Kind of a " show , don 't tell " problem here : I 'd rather the story display to me that he 's a genius than the narration say it outright . " How you doing , hotshot ? " his uncle asked . " Still driving the girls crazy ? " I would MAYBE have liked a BIT more set - up here , but as it stands , it seems like an amazingly unlikely coincidence . This guy literally trips over an ancient artifact , and then 5 minutes later his scientist uncle calls him and says he 's looking for it ? That 's one - in - a - trillion or so . The wall whimpered in protest , trying to hold its shape , struggling to retain the only purpose it ever had . With a groan , the wall slid forward into a pile of rubble at the Rhydon 's outsized feet Okay , I love all that . The man didn 't know where they were going next , but he knew that the next time he slept , he would be told . He was always told where to go and how to better himself and his Pokemon . The voices would whisper to him in his dreams , guiding him towards additional power , guiding him to more knowledge , and eventually , guiding him to his destiny Good ending there . What kind of " power " is he getting from these things ? He still seems ordinary , what with Alakazam having to save his life . So what are they doing to them ? I 'm sensing an eventual face turn from Alakazam , too , where he betrays his trainer and works to save him from what the flakes are doing to him . Anyhoo , I 've noticed you hadn 't named the latest two chapters . Any reasoning for that ? Wait . . . * looks back * Oh durr , you haven 't been using names at all . Your " cause " , " effect " , and " aftermath " caused me to believe that . And now that I think about it , I don 't think they were needed at all . We would 've figured out what the chapter was about without that little reminder . I see what you 're saying . I named those chapters because of the seriousness of the situations they faced . I think if I 'm going to names the chapters , I should be more consistent , as to avoid confusion . I think I 'm going to leave them the way that they are , but thanks for pointing that out . I pity Ethan . He 's going through so much pain to gather up these flakes , and yet these voices keep up this ruse of being friendly to him , and showing gratitude for saving them . Alakazam can see through this , but because of his loyalty to Ethan , he has to do as he says , even though it hurts him more . Man , that 's dark . You really were convincing us Golduck wasn 't going to make it , and the somber piano music I 'm currently playing makes that hurt a lot ( because the song 's just that effective ) . Still , I am happy he 's alive , even though he 's going to be a changed duck from now on . I like the explanations the doctor gave about the gem . Something tells me you did some research a bit before writing that , or at least know a little bit about the brain ( well , biology in general ) , because that 's really impressive . I flirted with the idea of letting him die for a long time . With that music you had playing , I can see how it may have worked haha . I have had some schooling when it comes to biology , but most of my explanation with Golduck 's brain / physiology is just stuff I made up . I 've always loved Psyduck and Golduck , so over the years I 've come up with alot of theories with how their mental prowess works . Thanks ! I 'm curious as to the relationship here . Are they roommates ? Siblings ? Parent and child ? Lovers ? I 'm sure I 'll get it eventually , but I 'm kind of lost on it so far . I mentioned once or twice before that line that they were roomates . Looking back at later chapters , I can see how their relationship would be confusing . Dorian is extremely impulsive , wereas Shelton is calculated and responsible . She acts like a parent towards him alot of the time , which is the main reason she 's so cross towards him sometimes . I like this , too , as it really makes them feel like pets ( which I 'm sure you 've realized from my fic is how I more - or - less picture pokemon ) . A Machop getting harassed by an angry Sunflora . . . that really is kind of striking . I can see the Sunflora yipping at it when I recreate the scene in my head . I would MAYBE have liked a BIT more set - up here , but as it stands , it seems like an amazingly unlikely coincidence . This guy literally trips over an ancient artifact , and then 5 minutes later his scientist uncle calls him and says he 's looking for it ? That 's one - in - a - trillion or so . Lol , it is unlikely . The reasoning behind that will become clear later on Good ending there . What kind of " power " is he getting from these things ? He still seems ordinary , what with Alakazam having to save his life . So what are they doing to them ? I 'm sensing an eventual face turn from Alakazam , too , where he betrays his trainer and works to save him from what the flakes are doing to him That will be revealed with some of the chapters I 've posted . Alakazam is in a complicated place . Even when he was an Abra so many years ago , he knew that Ethan should not get involved , but couldn 't stop him . Now that he 's grown and matured , he may end up being able to express himself to Ethan better . I hope so at least I figure you mean " body slam " in that he unintentionally rammed his body into them , but initially read it as " like when Hulk Hogan picked up and slammed Andre The Giant " and was very perplexed as to why the hell he would do that ? I guess he DOES owe that Golduck . LOL . Not a mistake on your part , but my pop - culture ensoaked brain gave me a tremendously funny visual . Thanks for that ! Kind of a silly moment since we haven 't seen this side of Shelton at all . But again . . . I LOL ' ed . " Let 's do it ! " Dorian announced . " Strap on the nitro ! " " No . That catch phrase is never going to catch on . Besides that , its barely a catch phrase . Its just random words that have nothing to do with our current situation . " - I like the quick , zippy dialogue here , because I usually write a lot of that ( my fic hasn 't given me much of a chance yet , but que sera sera ) . I really like two characters going back - and - forth in a rapid succession . SOME of the lines there seemed a little forced ( the " Last word freak " one stuck out to me ) , but by - and - large , it was a lot of fun to read . I enjoyed that part a lot . - It 's good seeing the plot develop here , and I like the irony that Dorian is leaving Johto for Kanto while Ethan is doing the opposite . Good job removing both characters from their element . I look forward to getting to chapter 4 tomorrow . " Shut it . Just because you had one good idea does not mean that I have a higher opinion of you . Besides , you still owe me for rent , " Shelton snarled . Dorian ducked out of her reach and walked a bit faster , muttering curses under his breath . The walk through Viridian Forest had only taken about two hours , and thankfully , it had been without incident . The woods were serene and silent , their colors exclaiming vibrant hues of gold , orange , and red . As Dorian and Shelton approached the borders of Pewter City , he whipped out his phone and called his uncle , bracing himself for his naturally booming voice . A tone sounded three times in rapid succession , signaling that his uncle had ignored his call . Confused , Dorian dialed again , only to be greeted by the same high pitched beeps . It was odd his uncle wasn 't answering , as he was probably expecting them by now . As they strode past the main entrance to the city , Dorian looked to the northeast and caught the familiar sight of the red roof of Ronnie 's house . Allowing himself a small smile , he looked over to Nuzleaf and Shelton , only to find them wearing the same expression . Ronnie would make their recent misfortune worthwhile ; he would put them back into their usual mindset . His uncle always exuded a sense of calm and jovial happiness , and had always done his best to make him and Shelton feel welcome and comfortable ; it was an unspoken promise he had kept ever since he started raising them . Ethan tightened his grip on Rapidash 's neck as he started to slip to the left . Just as he did however , he felt a gentle force press his body back into an upright position . Looking backwards , he saw a faint violet aura around his Alakazam . He noticed a similar aura taking shape around his own legs and waist ; obviously Alakazam 's attempt to keep them both level on the galloping horse . The group blew through the entrance to Viridian City like a tornado , sending people in their way dashing to the left and right for safety . A small line of flames traced a path behind them , the result of the drying grass being exposed to Rapidash 's intense heat . People to the east and west of the city looking their direction were only able to make out a shining streak of yellow and orange , racing through the northern exit of the city like a meteorite . Ethan stared straight ahead , not noticing or caring for the sharp yells of the people they passed . Ethan was on the path to his destiny , on the road towards two hooligans that had stolen something very precious from him . He would take back the shard from them of course , that was just a byproduct of the vengeance that was about to be released . Besides their crime of thievery , they had threatened the voices , and for that they would be punished . He knew that they probably didn 't know what they had done , but it didn 't matter . Ignorance does not excuse a crime , and this was an offense that would not be forgiven . He felt Alakazam flinch behind him as the words crossed his mind ; having no doubt that the psychic type had heard . Unfazed , Ethan used his heels to spurn Rapidash faster , his body starting to almost vibrate with eagerness . The forest they were traveling through morphed into a ring of brown and black as they sped up , Ethan 's eyes unable to focus due to the wind howling into them . He knew that Rapidash was already pushed to the edge of her abilities , but he dug his heels into her harder ; fire in his eyes and murder in his heart . They were standing about twenty feet from Ronnie 's front porch , stopped dead in their tracks by a withering mass of sparking electrical cables . The strands of thick plastic danced around about in a chaotic fashion , loud snaps ringing out as they discharged electricity . A crew of four men formed a square around the cables , waving their hands in warning as people walked by . They were all wearing identical blue jumpsuits with snowy white hardhats , their apparel streaked with layers of grime and sweat . The one closest to them saw them approaching and quickly trotted over , his hand fixed on the top of his head to keep his hard hat from bouncing off . " Sorry folk 's , but that 's as close as ya 'll are gonna get , " the man said , his vowels long and prominent . The man 's brow was drenched in sweat , which transitioned to his almost shoulder length hair that was of the same wet persuasion . A scraggly three - day growth of a beard was visible against intense hazel eyes . As he came to a stop in front of them , Dorian noticed two things . First , that the man was tanned and muscularly toned like that of a chiseled statue ; the second thing was that Shelton was salivating like a hungry Houndoom . " Pleased to meet you , James , " Shelton grinned , her voice giggling as she said his name . " You ain 't from Pewter , are you ? " James asked . Dorian watched the scene before him unfold in disgust , completely unaccustomed to Shelton 's blatant flirting . She was swooning over this man with no regard to what she looked like ; which to Dorian was akin to her asking for a three course dinner at a hardware store . Spying two children kicking a ball past them , Dorian took the opportunity to put Shelton out of her misery . " Oh come on , " Shelton replied . " Seriously Dorian , every woman between twelve and ninety - five with a pulse would think he 's hot . " " Did you just come up with that , or is that saying something you 've heard somewhere before ? " " You 're both morons , " Shelton moaned , clearly exasperated by the conversation . Just as Shelton was about to expand on her point , Dorian felt his phone vibrate in his pocket . Flipping his phone open , he said , " You better have a good reason for ignoring my call , I feel almost violated . " " It 's actually kind of complicated . I 'm leaving the museum , but I 'm under a sort of academic house arrest . The director gave the order to send the excavation team out a few days earlier than expected , which forced me to tell him about your discovery . " " To say the least . He was angry at first that I kept this from him , but his mood quickly changed as he realized that the find could save the museum a lot of money . The pictures you sent me sufficed for the moment , but he 's asked me to get the marker from you and bring it to him . " " Don 't worry about it , " Ronnie replied . " I 'm already on my way to the house , so I 'll just grab it when I get there . There 's still a composition test I want to do before I present it . " He looked over to Nuzleaf and Shelton to tell them what Ronnie said , but stopped when he noticed what appeared to be a fire near the southern entrance of the city . Squinting , he saw the fire flare brighter for a second , then vanish completely in a flash of red light . After deciding that it was probably just some random trainer battle , he turned back to his roommate . Ethan quickly dismounted his Rapidash as she trotted to a stop . They were situated at the outskirts of Pewter , only a stone 's throw away from the southern gate . He quickly looked around for his Scyther , dry grass crunching loudly beneath his boots . Confident that his Scyther would arrive momentarily , Ethan turned back to examine the city . A red shingled Pokemon Center sat up the right , while farther back and to the left resided an almost depressed looking market ; its blue roof cracked and weathered with age . Houses were strewn across the city like random fallen raindrops , with no order or discernible pattern to their placement . Slabs of rock decorated the ground every few hundred feet , some no bigger than basketballs , while others were as large as cars ; a testament to the city 's rocky beginning . Ethan hated all of it ; it was so , unorganized . There weren 't even clear paths for people to walk on , instead there were just random trails of stomped grass crisscrossing in every direction . This poor excuse of a city was nothing compared to his home in Saffron , where manicured lawns and glass high - rises reigned supreme . Ethan would deal with this situation quickly and get back home ; back to a place with proper people and actual order . There was a rustling of limbs , and a shadow appeared between the nearest trees . Scyther forced herself through the tight overgrowth , making an effort to keep her left arm hidden behind her back . Her eyes lit up as she saw her master , and shuffled over to stand next to Alakazam . Before she took a step however , Ethan quickly jumped forward and grabbed her left arm , twisting it roughly towards himself . The sword that made up his Pokemon 's lower arm had been burned severely , turning her dark green color a putrid black . Scyther looked back at him guiltily , trying to wrench her arm out of his grasp . " What happened ? " Ethan hissed . " Saisa , " she moaned as his grip tightened . " Stop , " Ethan ordered . " It serves you right . Slicing electrical cables is something a Beedrill would do , not you . Did I not express how important this was ? What were you thinking ? " " You 're not getting off that easy , " Ethan replied , clamping down on her arm so hard that his hand began to cramp . " Scyther ! " she yelled , tearing her arm from his gasp . Her sword came loose quickly , though not before it tore a pencil width gash across his wrist . She held her arm to her chest , trying her best to look apologetic ; which was something she rarely succeeded at , owing to the fact that she was never sorry about anything . " This is important , and there is no room for error , " Ethan informed the frightened bug . Wincing , he flexed his right arm and closed his eyes in an effort to center himself . After a moment , he opened them again to see the wound on his wrist healing , black smoke drifting out of the hole . Moments later , the cut was gone , leaving no trace that it had ever happened . " Saisai , " Scyther explained , pointing with her uninjured arm back through the trees . Fuming with more anger than he had before he got to town , Ethan followed his Scyther into the dense forest , trying his best not to make any noise . Alakazam followed behind , doing rapid multiplication in his head to occupy his mind . The trio quickly made their way across the town , keeping far enough into the forest that they couldn 't be seen . After a few minutes , Scyther halted , staring at a house about a hundred yards away . They were there , in all their thieving glory . A red mist came over Ethan and he started forward , his hands shaking with rage . Alakazam grabbed him right before he got out of reach , causing him to turn around . The psychic Pokemon pointed towards the group Ethan was walking towards , motioning at the numerous other people that were walking nearby . Ethan took a breath to calm himself . His Alakazam was right ; it was far too crowded to risk any sort of unprovoked attack . With slow and deliberate steps , Ethan pushed himself through the woods to peek around the last tree that separated the two groups . As he came to the edge of the trees , the shard in his pocket began to vibrate . Shaking his head , he returned back to the game he and Nuzleaf were playing . The game was an amalgamation of different situations they 've been put through over the years , and they were still in the process of perfecting the rules . Basically , they faced each other about fifteen yards away from each other and stood completely still . One of them expanded a pokeball , and threw it at the other as hard as they could . You could aim for any area on the person you wished , but if you flinched or dodged out of the way , you earned yourself a penalty . Their current penalty was that the other person could give them a punch to the gut , without any sort of padding or protection whatsoever . To them it was a fair game , because if you showed courage , you usually took a pokeball to the skull , and if you showed cowardice , you were rewarded with a punch to the stomach . The only real way to win was for the other person to miss every time while remaining completely still . " Nunuz ! " Nuzleaf answered , his eyes squeezed tightly shut . The ball missed him by several feet , causing him to blow Dorian a raspberry and take off after it . A laugh to his left caused him to look over . Machoke was giggling slightly at Dorian 's failed attempt , his voice much deeper than it had been as a Machop . On one hand , Dorian was glad Machoke had calmed down enough to relax , as there had been a pretty stressful situation when he was released a few minutes ago . Dorian had been talking to Shelton as he and Nuzleaf lined up to play their game when she had decided to release Machoke for the first time since returning him right after he had evolved . The fighting Pokemon had materialized in a shower of white energy , standing almost as tall as Dorian in his new form . The only problem was , he had taken shape completely nude . As soon as Machoke 's eyes took in his new form and the area he was in , he quickly started crying and covering his lower body in embarrassment . Shelton had tried to calm him down , only to have her Pokemon start stomping the ground in angst , creating cracks in the road with his newfound brawn . Machoke had only calmed down once Dorian pulled out a pair of his own boxer briefs from his bag and handed them to him . Now , Machoke was seated on the ground next to Shelton , Dorian 's boxers being stretched to their limit by his bulging muscles . Shelton was sitting next to him , her head leaning against her Pokemon 's shoulder . She hadn 't stopped touching Machoke since he had emerged from his ball , convinced that something else would befall him if he wandered too far away from her . " It 's not as easy as you might think . So how about you mind your own busi - , " Dorian started , only to be cut off by a fiery glaze sent at him by Shelton . Just as Dorian turned back towards Nuzleaf , he paused , his back pocket was vibrating . It was odd though , as he distinctly remembered putting his phone in his front pocket . Shaking his head , he reached into his back pocket and pulled it out ; but it wasn 't his phone he had retrieved , it was the shard . It was pulsing lightly , almost like a gentle heartbeat . Dorian didn 't understand why the marker was moving . It didn 't have anything inside it , at least to the best of his knowledge it didn 't . " Why are you looking at that thing like that ? " Shelton asked . " You little bastard ! " Dorian yelled , bending down and picking up the ball . " I wasn 't paying attention ! That 's a free shot from ten feet ! " In a rage , Dorian darted forward , the pokeball in his right hand , the pulsing shard in his left . As he closed to about ten feet away , Dorian drew back and hurled the ball at Nuzleaf , its red surface gleaming . Nuzleaf barely ducked in time as the ball streaked towards him , causing it to miss him by several inches . The ball continued on its course , slicing through the air like a knife . As it connected with the hedge that circled Ronnie 's house , there was a loud squeal , a flash of white light , and a tiny snap as it closed itself back up . " I know what to do , " Dorian replied , walking over to the hedge . It took him a moment to dig through the thick foliage , but his hands found the trembling pokeball . Standing back up , he rolled it in his hand , his mind a mix of anticipation and confusion . With a loud ding , the return button of the ball blinked red rapidly , signaling a successful capture . Taking a quick breath , Dorian pressed the return button , opening the ball and spilling out its contents . A shape began to materialize on the ground in front of them , bathing their half circle in a bright white glow . Starting at the ground , a thick black tail in the winding shape of a coil appeared , followed by a sizeable , similarly colored tube - like stomach . Two stubby arms became visible next , followed by two rosy circles of fur underneath inky black eyes . By far the most distinguishing characteristic of the now fully formed Pokemon was a large pink pearl clamped tightly between its tiny ears . " Spoink ? " the Pokemon repeated , looking at Dorian like he was some sort of extraterrestrial . Its eyes drifted over the rest of the group , narrowing slightly when it came to the hulking form of Machoke . Coming back to Dorian , the Spoink spied the open pokeball clutched in Dorian 's right hand . Its eyes widened to the extreme , and its mouth dropped open . " Wai - , " Dorian started , only to stop short as he was yanked off the ground and thrown backwards through the air . Dorian 's vision blurred as he flew backwards , the world passing by him too quickly to focus . Just before the force carrying him dropped its hold , he managed to turn his head around to see where he was going to land . Dorian began flailing his arms wildly in vain , yelling through clenched teeth as his body came down on the twitching mass of sliced electrical cables in front of his uncle 's house . Pain , unimaginable pain , coursed through his body in torrents as the electricity surged across his flesh . Almost as soon as that one agonizing second commenced , it was over , and he pushed himself up off the ground . Shivering and covered with goose bumps , Dorian struggled to understand why the temperature had changed so dramatically . Remembering what he had fallen into , Dorian quickly leaped to the left , putting him out of the way of the cables . As he looked down to where he had just jumped from , he gasped . His body was still lying on the ground , twitching and contorting in agony as electricity billowed across it . He almost fainted on the spot as he looked at his body on the ground , his mind being torn in half by the paradox that was taking shape in front of him . He was standing to the side , he wasn 't still on the cables ; he had jumped , hadn 't he ? As he watched his body on the ground , he noticed two things . First , that his body on the ground was spasming far too slowly ; and looking up he could see Nuzleaf in the distance running towards his body on the ground , but he was moving slow as well , like he was stuck in slow motion . The second thing he noticed was that the blue electricity surging across his frame on the ground was all moving to one point , to the shard still clutched in his left hand . Dorian raised his left hand in his standing body and saw that the same shard was in that hand as well , the only difference being that it was glowing . How was it in both hands ? Despite the fact that he was having an out of body experience , that question kept forcing its way into his mind . How were they in both hands ? Just as he asked himself the question again , the black shard started pulsing . Harder and harder it pulsed , vibrating so hard that Dorian could barely hang on to it . He couldn 't understand the situation unfolding in front of him ; it was so far beyond the realm of his comprehension that all he could do was stare blankly at the softly glowing object . Well , almost all he could do . He figured out he could still scream ; which is exactly what he did when the shard wrapped itself around his left hand and yanked him into the sky . Posts 1 , 116 Woo ! " Filler chapter ! " Dorian and Shelton 's Pokemon were all out of their respective balls , clapping softly as Trapinch approached . Well , almost all of them . Considering the narrator is not a " character " ( at least has not been portrayed as such ) , it seems odd for the narrator to say something like " Well , almost all of them " . It sounds a bit too colloquial for an unquestioned narration . Do you know what I mean ? There 's nothing wrong with giving your narrator some flavor and personality , but it hasn 't had one to this point , so this threw me . " I was hoping that a win might finally make you evolve , " Dorian said . " It 's alright though . I know you 're as eager to get rid of those pains as I am . Maybe it 'll happen next time Trapinch began to growl loudly , tapping into the growing process that his kind was sometimes afforded . His skin suddenly transformed into sickly hues of yellow and green . His eyes began to bulge and turn a lustrous olive as his backbone began to stretch and wiggle trough the back of his thick hide . Crimson blood streamed down his sides as a pair of regal looking , rhombus shaped wings burst out from underneath his skin . Growling louder now , the bones in his face began to change shape , becoming thinner , narrower , becoming almost brittle in their lightness . As a pair of antenna burst out of Trapinch 's forehead , his new tail split in two , mirroring the shape and color of its new wings . Yeah , see . . . that was good . Very powerful visuals . I just would liked to have seen hints of the changes earlier . But still . . . very nice ! " Look kid , I 'm not in the mood to battle you , " Dorian said , his mood bypassing annoyance and going straight to exasperation . " I don 't care if we locked eyes , I don 't have to adhere to your need to prove yourself . How old are you anyway ? Twelve ? " " I 'm fourteen ! " the kid yelled . " It 's in the rules ! If you look at me , and I look back at you , we have to battle . I 'll call the Pokemon Battle Association if you don 't ! " " What makes you think I care ? Do you think that 's going to change my mind ? Kid , before you threaten someone , you need to make sure you have something to take away from them . " " Are you off your medication ? I have at least twelve years experience on you , " Dorian said , bringing his head down to the teen 's level . " Where are your parents ? I 'm feeling the sudden urge to tell them what an annoying little bastard you are . " You like to make fun of the game tropes . That was at least two right there . It 's fun to ridicule the sillier aspects of the games , but be careful not to overdo it . It 's hard to juxtapose the realism of Trapinch 's bloody , pain evolution against the silliness of those things . I know that you are ridiculing the silliness of them , but it 's still feeling a TAD BIT forced to do so . But don 't worry , it 's amusing to read either way . - What an odd note to end the chapter on . It makes me feel there is more to this kid and his Beedrill than meets the eye . I 'm curious as to how this battle wraps up and what it 's leading to , so I might sneak a peak at chapter 5 before heading off . As far as filler chapters go , this wasn 't bad . I like filler because it develops character . We didn 't really get MUCH of that here , but the writing was still very enjoyable . Posts 3 , 228 All caught up ! But I 'm on my iPod right now so I can 't give an in depth review . As I told you already , I loved chapter 8 . It has to be my favorite so far . I had thought you killed Golduck . I was going to cry , but I 'm happy to see that he is alive . The Graveler incident wrapped up very nicely . I expect both Dorian and Shelton to grow from it . I love how you portrayed Shelton when she saw the workman . Seems like you have women pinned down . ; P Ethan becoming more and more frustrated was a nice touch . It seems he 's ready to pull his hair out . Keep up the good work . Until next time . Well , I think it would have protected him but it wasn 't activated at the time . The device needs to be switched on to be able to block attacks . So if he 's not in a battle or dangerous situation , I think he leaves it off to save power . Lol now that I think about it , it is pretty similar . However , no , its my own invention . I use that catch phrase irl , and it annoys my fiance to no end . Considering the narrator is not a " character " ( at least has not been portrayed as such ) , it seems odd for the narrator to say something like " Well , almost all of them " . It sounds a bit too colloquial for an unquestioned narration . Do you know what I mean ? There 's nothing wrong with giving your narrator some flavor and personality , but it hasn 't had one to this point , so this threw me . I see what you mean . You 're actually the second person to suggest that very thing . I flirted with the idea before , but with Trapinch I decided that the way I went was my favorite . Who knows , you may see some of what you suggested if any more of their pokemon evolve . You like to make fun of the game tropes . That was at least two right there . It 's fun to ridicule the sillier aspects of the games , but be careful not to overdo it . It 's hard to juxtapose the realism of Trapinch 's bloody , pain evolution against the silliness of those things . I know that you are ridiculing the silliness of them , but it 's still feeling a TAD BIT forced to do so . But don 't worry , it 's amusing to read either way . On one hand , I was making fun of the games , but the main reason the kid said those things because his character is really bent on following rules at all costs and sticking to exactly what his manual says . That 'll become apparent in later chapters as he slowly works himself back into the story . I 'll keep what you said in mind . I see what you mean . You 're actually the second person to suggest that very thing . I flirted with the idea before , but with Trapinch I decided that the way I went was my favorite . Who knows , you may see some of what you suggested if any more of their pokemon evolve . Working on a review and saw this . I have a problem with that form of evolution . It makes snese to me for a Pokemon to be preparing , like a bear for hibernation , and then let the actual change happen more instantaniously , but if you go the drawn out route , what do you do with Pokemon liek Remoraid ? Halfway through evolution , . uyou have this finless red rock thing with dumpy little limbs not quite long enough to move its proportionally oversize head , and the flins it had as a Remoraid have mostly retreated into its Octillery body . You have this fish that can 't feed itself . . . On the subject of the evolution method , I think it 's a good idea and waaay more realistic than in the games and anime , but I see Glover 's point about certain Pokémon that would struggle with this method . But what if certain Pokémon , such as Remoraid , had developed faster evolution so that they wouldn 't have to go as long without food ? That 's just an idea on my part , feel free to say it 's terrible . " Shut it . Just because you had one good idea does not mean that I have a higher opinion of you . Besides , you still owe me for rent , " Shelton snarled . I think you portray the relationship between Dorian and Shelton really well . You have a good balance between Shelton 's scathing nudges but not making it seem too forced . He felt Alakazam flinch behind him as the words crossed his mind ; having no doubt that the psychic type had heard . Unfazed , Ethan used his heels to spurn Rapidash faster , his body starting to almost vibrate with eagerness . The forest they were traveling through morphed into a ring of brown and black as they sped up , Ethan 's eyes unable to focus due to the wind howling into them . He knew that Rapidash was already pushed to the edge of her abilities , but he dug his heels into her harder ; fire in his eyes and murder in his heart . Another thing I like is the way you 're portraying Ethan . He 's slowly getting more and more violent in his pursuit of Dorian and Shelton , and the fact that Alakazam doesn 't wholly agree with him is a nice touch on the lines of making sure all the Pokémon have personalitites . It also means he 's a tiny bit more unpredictable . I know I ought to point out the negative points of this fic as well as going " You portrayed this well , you wrote that well " , but tbh I can 't see anything that you desparately need to work on . Future reviews probably won 't be quite as in - depth ( by my standards anyway ) , but they will definitely come . Looking forward to the next chapter . Originally Posted by Missingno . Master And my authorish side must tell you that logic doesn 't trump diddly in this story . Klang can fart . Plain and simple . Working on a review and saw this . I have a problem with that form of evolution . It makes snese to me for a Pokemon to be preparing , like a bear for hibernation , and then let the actual change happen more instantaniously , but if you go the drawn out route , what do you do with Pokemon liek Remoraid ? Halfway through evolution , . uyou have this finless red rock thing with dumpy little limbs not quite long enough to move its proportionally oversize head , and the flins it had as a Remoraid have mostly retreated into its Octillery body . You have this fish that can 't feed itself . . . I see your point as well . I like my idea of spontaneous violent evolution the best , but subtle changes beforehand , like change of eye color , skin color , beginnings of a tail , etc , are something that I may or may not decide to do . As long as the small changes don 't affect the Pokemon to the point where they can 't function normally , I don 't see a problem with it . Lol , I 'll probably end up sticking to my version Thanks ! Their relationship is one area I think is really integral to the story , so its been something I 've been trying really hard on . Thanks for noticing . I 'm sure she was , which is why the first thing she did after she was able to rest was start eating . . . . WHAT ? Argh , massive cliffhanger ! ;_ ; I hope Dorian doesn 't die . I like Dorian . I like their interactions here a lot . You do a good job at showing how they get along yet how they like to playfully fight with each other . ( Also , this is like my dream situation . I like being lazy . ) Well , this explains a lot . Yay for Dorian and Shelton backstory ! Now that I think about it , anyway , I prefer them to have sibling - like relationship rather than a romantic one . I wouldn 't really use the word " obviously " in third person . It can make the readers feel dumb especially if they don 't realize what you 're actually trying to say . Also expecting your readers to know things is silly . If you said , however : " it was obvious to Ethan that Alakazam was trying to keep them both level … " or something , that 'd be fine , since it 's attributed to your character , not the readers . Hope that makes sense . Ignorance does not excuse a crime , and this was an offense that would not be forgiven . Amusing . Oh , Shelton , you 're such a flirt . She was swooning over this man with no regard to what she looked like ; which to Dorian was akin to her asking for a three course dinner at a hardware store . Even more amusing . I 'd totally like to see this scene . And it 's just like Dorian to be like … what the hell are you doing ? LOL . A course a guy would say no . Also , I like the hint of Dorian not liking people from other regions . I 've seen a lot of rivalry between regions being implemented in fics , and I 've always found it pretty interesting . It 's kind of like the pokémon version of racism … since no one ever seems to have actual race prominent in their fics . Nuzleaf randomly showing up LOL . If even the pokémon know you 're kinda going around too much , then that sounds like a pretty big deal . " Yeah , " Dorian replied . " He 's coming . " Lol , at first I think Ronnie , but you cut this section off at the perfect point to where the readers realizes - well , * * * * , Ethan 's coming too . Confident that his Scyther would arrive momentarily , Ethan turned back to examine the city . A red shingled Pokemon Center sat up the right , while farther back and to the left resided an almost depressed looking market ; its blue roof cracked and weathered with age . Houses were strewn across the city like random fallen raindrops , with no order or discernible pattern to their placement . Slabs of rock decorated the ground every few hundred feet , some no bigger than basketballs , while others were as large as cars ; a testament to the city 's rocky beginning . This is a very interesting and descriptive take on Pewter City . Yeah , it 's supposed to be a really ancient city and kind of old , but the games / anime never really show that . I like this a lot . " You 're not getting off that easy , " Ethan replied , clamping down on her arm so hard that his hand began to cramp . As evil as it sounds , I really like this part . It shows just how serious Ethan is about this situation . He 's willing to go pretty damn far for it , even if it means that his pokémon get hurt . The only problem was , he had taken shape completely nude . As soon as Machoke 's eyes took in his new form and the area he was in , he quickly started crying and covering his lower body in embarrassment . Poor Machoke . This is a pretty interesting take on the pokémon . Usually they 're all supposed to have heavyweight belts or something , but it just doesn 't make sense for them to materialize out of nowhere . I like this realistic take on Machoke . It also gave great insight to his character . : P Poor guy . I also liked the ending a lot . Looks like Dorian 's going through something similar that Ethan does because of the stone . Out - of - body experiences can certainly be interesting . Overall , your description was really good in this chapter , as usual . I could see everything very clearly . There was also a lot more interactive dialogue in this chapter , I think … And I think you 're getting a lot better at it . You really know how to portray a character 's personality and such through their words alone , which is a good skill to have . Anyway , I look forward to seeing more . | | survival project | | phantom project | | Posts 526 Sorry for the delay , but its here now . I tried to find any remaining grammatical errors , but I 'm still not that good in that area , so please correct me if any of my statements prove to be false . Well , let 's get started . Requiem , an interesting choice for a story title . It means a church service for someone who has died , or a piece of music for that service , a slightly morbid piece of foreshadowing in my opinion . Still , catchy title . Originally Posted by Sidewinder Supposed to be inseparable . A very well written start to this story . You explain the boy 's childhood and give us many details of his situation including the fact that he has an Abra with similar issues . The scene with the chamber is a little rushed in my opinion , going from the boy losing sight of the tour group to being attacked by a wild Pokemon to getting dragged through a wall to the alter and the crystal , but this is the prologue so I guess its all right if its short . A great chapter , you described the Growlithe battle with much detail as well as introducing Dorian and Nuzleaf . Shelton is well on her way to becoming my favorite character , her no - nonsense attitude and treatment of Dorian who is a polar opposite of her make for quite the funny scene . I 'd like to mention the passage at the end of the chapter . This man is a strange character , he doesn 't show the signs of an outright antagonist - in fact the prologue makes him seem more like a protagonist with his new powers and the voices . You set up his story so that his quest will eventually intersect with Dorian and Shelton now that Dorian has that artifact . Originally Posted by Sidewinder Nothing wrong with this passage , I just found it funny . It 's a sign of a good author when they can input humor into a story and not detract from the main plot . Originally Posted by Sidewinder " Well , from the limited amount of information we 've gathered on the marker 's , they 're supposedly forged from metal ; but out of a rare ore we think is obsidian . Though we don 't know for sure because there is so little discovered throughout the world today , only a few grams or so . We know that from their description , its jet black , weighing much less than other metal ore 's they would have had access to back then . From what the Director is thinking , he attributed it more to a hollow , glossy diamond , instead of metal . " Again , a well written chapter . A few grammatical errors , but the number of them is decreasing as more chapters pass . Which is always a good sign of improvement . We see the financial situation that Dorian and Shelton are in , which , provides a good incentive for them to deliver the artifact to Dorian 's uncle ( I know that doesn 't happen until chapter three , but I 'm pointing it out now ) . And the man 's quest for the shards , and absorbing them , nice description with that . Originally Posted by Sidewinder The man didn 't know where they were going next , but he knew that the next time he slept , he would be told . He was always told where to go and how to better himself and his Pokemon . The voices would whisper to him in his dreams , guiding him towards additional power , guiding him to more knowledge , and eventually , guiding him to his destiny . And now we are introduced to a new character of sorts , the voices . While we don 't know whether the man is the villain of this story yet , we know that it is these voices that guide him on his quest for some unknown reason . You 're introducing his character slowly , so that the readers only see a small bit of his personality at a time . A nice touch , his " destiny " adds another bit of mystery to the plot . Originally Posted by Sidewinder " No . That catch phrase is never going to catch on . Besides that , its barely a catch phrase . Its just random words that have nothing to do with our current situation . " I 'm not sure on this one , but it sounds better if it said " quickly " not " quick " . The few errors aside , a good chapter . This is where the real adventure begins . I find it a little strange that Dorian just found that rare artifact covered by a thin layer of dirt , while the others were in hidden , underground chambers that had to be forced open with a Pokemon attack . I realize that it 's for the plot , but I 'm not sure why this certain artifact was so easy to find . Just a little oddity I was wondering about . As of this chapter , Dorian and Shelton , and even Ethan 's characters seem to be developing steadily , with details of back - story and personality being revealed gradually as to not overwhelm readers . You have an excellent balance of plot development , character development , details , and humor . You also make the Pokemon very memorable and make their individual personalities shine . Yet another reason why I enjoy this story . When you are doing quick back - and - forth dialogue , you don 't need the names and verbs ( " Dorian exclaimed " , etc . Just let it flow , untagged line after untagged line . It will feel a LOT more natural , and will read just as it is supposed to . As long as each character has a distinctive voice , the readers should be able to keep up with the flow for several lines at a time . The cliff face to the left began to shift . Slowly at first , almost accidentally , as if it was struggling to decide whether it wanted to keep its shape . White eyes opened along the expanse of the cliff , blinking slowly . Upon closer inspection , legs and arms became visible . The roughly hewn limbs made out of the same rock they were latched onto . The shapes communicated by moving themselves against the rocks , listening to the craggy vibrations that were made when they did so I LOVE the part about the Geodude / Graveler / Whatever communicating through vibration . That 's incredibly realistic and creative . I 'm not enamored with the " Upon closer inspection , legs and arms became visible " line because that sounds almost like script direction than actual prose . Do you get what I mean ? - The ending was fantastic , and I loved the bit with Golduck and Machop and their relationship with Golduck trying to reassure , and later protect him . This is a nice , interesting plot twist to interrupt the main storyline . No Ethan , just the new threat of angry Gravelers . And the two biggest threats to them were neutralized first ? Angry SMART Gravelers . The semi - colon needs to be a comma . Semi - colons indicate that a sentence can be split into two separate ones without being fragments . Commas separate the fragments that wouldn 't pass as regular sentences . If you don 't want to replace the semi - colon , you might want to replace " having " with " he had " . I know that the worker is supposed to have a bit of an accented drawl , and I love the fact that you gave him a noticeable accent and personality ; it makes him all the more memorable . However , the two bolded words were misspelled . " Folks " shouldn 't have an apostrophe ; it 's a single word that would denote Dorian and Shelton . And the apostrophe in " y ' all " is supposed to be between the " y " and the " a " , since it 's a shortened version of " you all " . Ethan hated all of it ; it was so , unorganized . There weren 't even clear paths for people to walk on , instead there were just random trails of stomped grass crisscrossing in every direction . This poor excuse of a city was nothing compared to his home in Saffron , where manicured lawns and glass high - rises reigned supreme . Ethan would deal with this situation quickly and get back home ; back to a place with proper people and actual order . Shaking his head , he reached into his back pocket and pulled it out ; but it wasn 't his phone he had retrieved , it was the shard . It was pulsing lightly , almost like a gentle heartbeat . Dorian didn 't understand why the marker was moving . It didn 't have anything inside it , at least to the best of his knowledge it didn 't . I actually felt sorry for Scyther , and I don 't blame her at all for lashing out at her trainer . Hell , I don 't think she should 've apologized for that ; what Ethan did to her was completely unnecessary and cruel , especially when she showed that she did feel bad about cutting the cable wires . I also felt sorry for Rapidash ; he pushed her way beyond her limits and then wouldn 't let her rest or eat . I truly think that Ethan , in his madness , is going to end up killing one of his own Pokemon . I just wonder if it would be an accident or on purpose . I also wonder which one would end up paying the ultimate price . The characterization of Dorian and Shelton was nice to see . It 's really amusing to see their interactions with each other . The part where Shelton fell head over heels for a mere electrician and Dorian 's reaction was especially hilarious . " [ C ] hucked " . Unless they spewed them at him . Which . . . ew . The Graveler threw the rocks they were holding , each handful tripling in size as they raced towards their target . I was curious about this . Is it a Graveler power , to increase the size of the rocks ? Or was it just describing the change in Nuzleaf 's percerption of them as they got closer to him ? You 're going to get REAL TIRED , REAL FAST of me talking about the Pokeflect , but to me , it 's such a fascinating concept . Would the Pokeflect work if given TO a pokemon ? If not , why not just give them some ? I can imagine that in battle they 'd be barred , but for just journeying around ? Hell , I 'd give my Pokemon at least one ! It would make them indestructible to random acts like this . It was just then that Shuppet wailed , the noise resonating in his eardrums like a nearby foghorn . Wow , obscure reference for the win . When I first read that , I thought " What , like the cartoon rooster ? " I can just see Shuppet saying " Why , I say , son , I say . . . ! " As Dorian rolled to a stop , he shouted , " Growlithe , use flamethrower ! Shuppet , shadow ball ! " The attacks merged together as they hit their target , Growlithe 's flames turning a sickly shade of black and grey . Also , very creative . Combining attacks to make a multi - purpose kind of blast . Very well - done creatively . I can imagine only about a thousand uses for such a concept . Judging from their shattered flesh they had died from the demolition charges that the road crew had planted . I 'm telling you , this entire story could be about the Pokeflect , and I 'd be happy . What a wonderful toy . - I have to say , I 'm obviously not happy that Golduck had to die , but it almost had to happen . Golduck had , to this point and ESPECIALLY in this chapter , proven to be way too powerful . Not that he shouldn 't have been , but it had me thinking " What can really stand up to this thing ? " So it makes sense he had to sacrifice himself . I 'm guessing some of the humor is going to fade out now , at least on some scale . Dorian probably won 't be so headstrong and fun - loving now that he 's seen someone so close to him perish . Which is kind of a shame , but I 'll see where you go from here . Serebii FanFiction 2014 Awards Posts 979 Hi ! I 'm new to this fic and as such have only read through chapter one , but I 'm totally hooked . The Pokeflect is a nice touch , sounding like a very real invention that totally would be needed as technology increases . I like the world you 've created , and I 'm intrigued as to how the Granite Cave boy will connect with Dorian . I also really enjoy his Trapinch 's gradual shift to evolution . It 's a neat touch . ^ This is my new fanfic . It 's a work in progress , so please read and comment at your discretion . I hope you like it . I think you will . Oof . This made me wince . Good description . " He 's dead Shelton , " Dorian said . " I saw , s - saw the energy discharge from his head right before the rock Pokemon hit him . He couldn 't have survived it . I mean , I saw it swallow his body . " Okay , I was curious as to why Golduck just . . . exploded earlier . Not saying that it wasn 't well - written to end chapter six , but I thought the Gravelers had exploded IT . This way makes more sense ; I had just misunderstood , I guess . Shelton backed up several paces , her hands hooking into claws . Golduck couldn 't be dead ! He wouldn 't leave her , not like this , not ever . She drug her hands across her scalp , trying in vain to tear the thought away . She looked around , studying the scene before her . Tears came faster when she saw Machop 's body , pitching her into even more despair . His frail frame was broken , his legs bent into odd angles . She rushed forward , only to stop in place . Golduck and Machop , both of them were hurt . Shelton knew Golduck wasn 't dead ; it wasn 't even something she could comprehend . She was stuck in place , unable to decide what to do . She wanted to climb out of the crater and find Golduck , but at the same time she couldn 't just leave Machop . Indecision rooted her , turned her into molasses . Time slowed , her thoughts became even more muddled . Machop or Golduck , Machop or Golduck ? This shocked me out of the story because , to my knowledge , the narration had not previously been attached to Shelton . Yet , all of the sudden , here it was , and the reader was inside her head instead of Dorian 's . I might have missed the narration being inside everyone 's head earlier , but I thought it was exclusive to Dorian ( except with Ethan and Alakazam were " on - screen " ) . Dorian knew she was capable of a complete mental breakdown and that she was well on her way . Oh ? What is this tasty morsel ? Foreshadowing AND character development ? Me likey . The duck Pokemon was firmly embedded in the rock wall in front of Dorian . His tongue hung limp out of his open bill , saliva dripping down to pool on the ground below . Golduck 's lifeless pupils were dilated to the extreme , speaking volumes of the inactivity behind them . As Dorian kept looking up , he saw that the small jewel in Golduck 's forehead had shattered , leaving a gaping hole . Lavender psychic energy drifted lazily out of the gap in his skull , forming a bubble above Golduck 's head . Regardless of Dorian 's intentions , the red beam continued forward , striking the sapphire avian in the sternum . Golduck 's body morphed into solid energy and returned to his Pokeball . Dorian stared at the red and ivory ball in his hand , a few tears rolling sideways off of its glossy surface . Or maybe not . - I 'm not sure what I think about Golduck possibly being alive . In chapter 6 I thought Golduck was overpowered and that was before I realize he caused that explosion . . . and was able to survive it . I 'm not sure at this point what could possibly threaten these two characters with this Golduck on their team ( except , possibly an even more powerful psychic type , and GEE WHERE MIGHT THEY ENCOUNTER ONE OF THOSE ? ) - I like the notion of Machop 's body basically forcing an evolution as a means of survival . It makes even more sense why you 've chosen to display evolution the way you had previously now . Very foresightful of you . It was quite a unique desperation tactic by Machop 's body , though . I wonder just how common this may or may not be . Hm . - You know what ? I haven 't missed Ethan at all . I have adored the chapters recently without him . I don 't mean to say that he wasn 't interesting , but it was a joy to read all the Graveler stuff without interruption .
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Today was my third 6 - week weigh - in and measure with my trainer , so that means I 've been working out for just over 4 months now . In 18 weeks I 've lost : 22 . 1 lbs . 7 % body fat4 . 5 inches from my waist4 inches from my hips1 . 75 inches from my right arm . 75 inches from my right thigh1 inch from my neckSo , my weight loss has been slower than the first 6 weeks , but I assume that 's normal . I weighed more to begin with so had more to lose . Now I 'm getting more toned , so not losing as much , but gaining more muscle . I 'm okay with that . ; ) Something pretty exciting I had to share . . . so I have three piles of pants : 1 ) Fat pants 2 ) Normal pants 3 ) Skinny pants . ( I assume all women have these same categories . ) My " fat pants " I packed away over two months ago . My normal pants were fine for awhile but got pretty loose . So , I 've been wearing my " skinny " pants the past 2 or 3 weeks and just noticed yesterday that the pants I just bought two months ago ( thinking they would be my skinny jeans ) are now getting a little loose . I don 't have any jeans smaller than a 10 . Even after I lost all the baby weight after I had Ben and was in pretty good shape , I was still in 10s and not smaller ( and I weighed 6 lbs . less than I do now ! ) I decided to make a stop at Old Navy today , just to see where I 'm at . ( Don 't worry , Jake . I didn 't buy anything . ;) ) I tried on a size 8 and these jeans fit perfectly . Amazing ! I almost screamed in the dressing room because I was so excited . Then I decided to take it a step further and try on a 6 ( I haven 't worn a 6 since . . . I can 't even remember the last time I did ! Probably in high school . When Jake and I met I was wearing small 8s so probably could have been a 6 , but liked my clothes a little loose . ) So , I pull the size 6s up over my legs and think " Wow . I can actually get them on . " Then . . . I button them . HOLY COW ! I can button size 6s ! I zipped the pants up and realized , even though they were a tad tight and I wouldn 't walk around in public in them just yet , that give me another 2 months and they will probably be Posted by So our vacuum died last week . It was a Hoover Windtunnel ( our second in 2 years ! ) I went to Costco looking for a new one and saw the Dyson DC14 Animal . I 've wanted a Dyson for a long time but couldn 't make Jake see we needed it because we already had a working vacuum . Now that we don 't , I feel it 's time to plead my case . They are $ 399 . 99 at Costco , steep for a vacuum , but to me it would be so worth it . It comes with a 5 - year warranty , which in itself is awesome . My grandma went with me to Costco today to look at vacuums and told me they just bought a Dyson and I should borrow it to see how I like it . I just spent TWO HOURS vacuuming our entire house , stairs included . It was AWESOME . I have never seen so much dirt , hair , dog hair , and who knows what else come out of our floor at one time . I filled two grocery bags of that nasty stuff ( I promise you we are not dirty people , our other vacuum was just crap ! ) So , help me plead my case . Jake does not want to spend $ 400 on a vacuum but I tell him in the end it will be worth it , and we will have a cleaner house . He thinks we can find one for half the price that will do just as well . Is he right ? If any of you have awesome vacuums for less than $ 200 , let me hear it . We need to figure this out soon because I can 't go much longer without one . So , recommendations anyone ? Or should I just convince Jake we really NEED the Dyson ? ; ) So , as funny as this might sound , it 's really not that funny . Today as I was getting dinner ready , I stubbed my toe really hard . Truman , our dog , was sprawled out in the kitchen and I was trying not to step on him and instead slammed my toe into the side of a drawer . I almost kicked the dog out of frustration and pain . Jake laughed and then quickly apologized . I told him it really hurt and I probably broke or sprained it . He said there was no way I could have done that just by smacking it . Well , 2 hours later it 's turning bluish purple ( can 't tell so much in the picture ) and it 's pretty swollen ( twice the size of my other pinky toe . ) It hurts to walk on it or even slightly bend it . I 'm REALLY hoping it 's just jammed and a few days off of it will fix it . I guess this week I better take it easy and focus more on cross training than running . . . which I really do NOT want to do . Geez , of all injuries I could have , it would have to be something with my feet . That 's just plain annoying ! If anyone can give me some advice or have had a similar experience , tell me what you did . My dr called yesterday with my echocardiogram results . He said my heart looked great , younger than it actually is . He said he 's sure all my exercising has paid off in more ways than just losing weight . He said the stress test went really well and the fact I made it 14 minutes was pretty astounding to him ( they had me run on a treadmill and hiked up the incline and speed while my heart rate was being recorded . ) They got it up to 189 and then had me jump back on the table and they did another ultrasound of my heart to see how it acts when it 's stressed . He did mention as I recovered after the test my heart would beat 5 or 6 times in a row without a break . In the short term he said he 's not worried but it 's just something I need to be aware of . If I start feeling chest pains , palpitations , dizzy , etc . I need to stop ( obviously . ) Anyway , he had no reservations about my exercise and said to keep doing what I 'm doing . I was really excited to hear the good news and that my heart acts younger than 27 . YEAH , baby . Exercise can turn back the clock . . . remember that ! As most of you know now , I AM a Democrat and I AM voting for Obama in 13 days . I have been questioned about my views more times than I care to count over the past month or two . I 'm fine talking about it in a civilized manner . What I 'm not okay with is people who attack me and question my morality and judgment because they don 't understand what exactly they are trying to defend ( or attack . ) They base their attacks on half - truths and plain out lies that they consider facts because they heard it from some guy who supposedly heard it from someone else . So , I guess it must be true . . . right ? ? ? I was told last week that Obama has lunch with Al Qaeda terrorists . Come on . Let the mud slinging begin . I 'm not coming on here to say I 'm better than everyone else and anyone who disagrees with me is a moron . I just want to say that if you disagree with me , at least come to the plate with facts . I 'm fine with people supporting McCain . This is what democracy is all about , my right and your right to choose what we think is best for our country . I would just ask that you respect me and my decision to support who I want to support . I was sent this article today by a friend : http : / / blog . dietoyourways . com / default . aspx It was supposed to be mind blowing and make America see " the light " . . . I think . Okay , a few words about it ( and as a disclaimer , this is my blog so if you disagree with me , that 's fine , but it 's still MY blog . ) I think it 's ridiculous and I think it is overly partisan . First off , we need to understand that it is okay to disagree with each others ' opinions . Americans are smart enough to study the issues and choose the candidate they feel represents their beliefs the closest . And I disagree with some of Obama 's beliefs . I think if you agree with one of the candidates 100 % of the time you probably are not thinking critically . I 'm not going to comment on all of the points in that article , especially as many of them are patently false or misleading , but the big one seems to be about the taxes . This is an area that we are just goPosted by I was interviewed this afternoon by a Fox news reporter and the story is going to be on Channel 13 at 9pm . So , everyone tune in so you can see if I make an idiot of myself . ; ) Just a disclaimer , I 'm doped up on cold medicine so who knows what things came out of my mouth . I was interviewed about my Obama sign in our front yard . . . yes , we are Dems and proud of it . Anyway , tune in . It should be a nice little 30 - second blurb . PS Here is the story . ( My 30 - second blurb turned out to be maybe 2 seconds . They edited out my all my witty comments . Oh well . At least Josh looked stinkin ' adorable ! ) I 've had a nasty cold the past three days and so didn 't get my long run in on Saturday , which I was pretty bummed about . Last night I set my alarm for 5 : 15am so I could get a really good workout in to make up for the weekend . Well , my alarm went off and I was not feeling it so I hit snooze . I called the gym 's daycare right when they opened to see if they had an opening this morning and thank goodness , they did ! I went in at 10 : 30am ( I only had about 40 minutes until I had to get the kids and then go pick Ben up from kindergarten . ) I turned on the treadmill and told myself to just make two miles , not push myself , and see how my body was feeling after a 3 - day cold . I felt GREAT , much better than I should have felt after how sick I 've been . I ran 3 miles in 28 : 08 , my fastest 3 mile run so far . ( Maybe I should get sick more often ! ! JOKE . ) I felt so good I wanted to go another mile or two but had to finish up so I could get the kids . I 've lost 21 lbs . now , more than halfway past my goal . I 'm crossing my fingers that in another couple months I 'll be there . Yesterday when I was getting ready for church , I pulled out my skirts and tried them all on . My skinniest skirts are loose which is awesome , but not great for our pocket book . Jake told me I need to learn how to tailor my clothes ( he was joking . . . at least I think he was . ) I told him when I get down to my goal we 're getting me a whole new wardrobe . YEAH , baby ! My motivation is back ! WOO HOO ! ! Thanks for all the inspirational posts last week . I needed a little kick in the butt . Posted by This video cracks me up . Josh does this thing now that Emma used to do when she was his age . When he smiles really big he grinds his teeth together and starts to shake his face and he tightens his fists so they shake too . It 's hysterical . He knows it makes people laugh and is funny so he does it a lot to watch us laugh at him . . . silly boy . We all love him so much . For FHE this week we carved pumpkins . The kids have been waiting to do this for weeks . Emma scooped out two or three handfuls of seeds and then wanted to wash her hands . She definitely doesn 't like to get dirty . Ben was loving it , though and even drew his own picture of what he wanted the face to look like . We have all decided that Jake is the master carver , much better than me . He can make the circles come out perfectly round . I , on the other hand , practically butcher the face . As you can see below , Josh wasn 't about to touch the pumpkin innards . I love that look he is giving Jake . . . " Are you FREAKING CRAZY ? ! I 'm NOT touching that ! ! " Priceless . As silly as this picture is , I had to include it on our blog . I went to Lowes two days ago to buy a new toilet seat and lid because the one for the main bath broke . As I was leaving I saw these garbage cans and grabbed one to replace our nasty , disgusting 8 year old one in the kitchen . The kids think it 's the coolest thing , especially because it has a lid that pops up . . . something our other one didn 't have . If they love them this much , maybe Santa should consider bringing one for each of them ! Who needs Baby Alive and Pokemon stuff ! Truman , the dog . I don 't talk about him much but just know , he is still alive and kicking . His two - week horror of a neuter job is finally over with and he 's back to his normal self . He has needed a trip to the groomer 's for months now and sadly , our dog is the last to get himself taken care of . He 's the 4th forgotten child normally . This week was his week though and I took him to All Dog Grooming for an afternoon of pampering . He looked like a different dog by the time the girl was donPosted by My doctor called this morning with the results of my 24 - hour heart monitor test two weeks ago . He said I 'm " basically fine " but I do have a slight arrhythmia . It 's nothing serious enough to warrant medication or surgery , but just something to be aware of . He did mention a few things that slightly concerned him . My heart rate is pretty high when I exercise ( which I already knew . ) At one point while I was sleeping my heart rate dropped down to 37 . He also mentioned there was a 2 - second gap when there was no heart beat recorded . My dr now wants me to get an echo cardiogram . He said he thinks of the heart in two parts , electrical and plumbing . The heart monitor helped him get a better look at the " electrical " part of my heart . Now he wants to look at the " plumbing " which is the reason for the EC . Overall I 'm not too concerned . It sounds like my heart beat is slightly abnormal but nothing to make me change anything . I can stick with my regular exercise routine , which I 'm happy about . It will be interesting to see what my " plumbing " looks like . As for my workouts , I think I 've finally hit my first slump . I 've been waiting to come off my high and I think I 'm finally down . I 'm still going to the gym 4 - 5 days / week but I 'm not really " feeling " it somedays . I 've had to drag myself out of bed the past week just to get my butt out the door ( something that wasn 't a problem the past two months . ) My weight loss has stalled which is annoying . I 'm sure that can be attributed to my choice in foods the past 2 weeks . I 've stuck with my 1450 cals / day but have chosen a couple things I know I shouldn 't have . So , I 'm using this post to re - dedicate myself to this . I know I need to push myself harder , instead of just being okay with my usual 3 miles and then 100 crunches . I need to do more . I read a sign this morning at the gym that said " The average weight gained during the holidays is 10 lbs . " I don 't want to be " average " so I need to step it up . Who is with me ? ! With Halloween , Thanksgiving and Christmas coming , it 's going to be hard buPosted by I was not prepared to wake up to a Winter Wonderland this morning . It 's not even Halloween yet ! I hope this is not a sign of worse to come this winter . Jake says it 's supposed to be in the 70s next week and I hope he 's right because I am not ready for this . I love fall and don 't want to get cheated out of our cool crisp nights . The first picture is of our front yard and Jake knocking snow off of our scrub oak before the branches broke . The kids were so giddy , clambering to get their snow gear on . It was quite a sight , pulling out all the snow bibs , boots , gloves , hats , and coats . Emma 's size 7 1 / 2 boots definitely don 't fit her anymore , but she was determined to jam her feet into them . Her mittens are a little too small and are cotton so not great for making snowballs . Josh 's size 5 boots should have fit but I think his feet are a little wider than most 1 year olds so they wouldn 't stay on . Oh well . This is a good first run through for the winter season and helps me know what to put on my list of " needs " for the kids . I was anxious to see how Josh would do , his first time playing in the snow . He was intrigued and loved watching the older kids throw snowballs at Truman . When we put him down though and he tried to walk in it and fell , he quickly decided this was not his idea of fun . Emma was in heaven and would have played outside all day if we would have let her . She made tons of snow angels , buried Truman 's chew toys , and threw snowballs at anyone who got in her way . Ben loved pulling the branches up and down and making it " snow . " I think he really enjoys it , but a little less than Emma . He was ready to come in after awhile . . . I don 't blame him . I put Josh in the swing and he seemed to be okay with that . This is the one picture I got with all three kids . Emma looks like she 's in pain , but she 's really not . She was getting impatient and wanting me to hurry and take the picture so she could go back to making more snowballs . Here is my happy Josh . Hopefully he will get used to the snow these next couple months and start Posted by The length of time it took me to finish the 4 books in the Twilight series . I have to admit , I was quite hesitant to read these books just because I know how I get when I 'm sucked into a book that I can 't put down . ( It didn 't help that there was not just ' one ' book , but FOUR . ) When I thought about reading the series , my mind would automatically shift to the last book I was " sucked " into . . . Davinci Code . Let 's just say , it wasn 't a pretty sight . ; ) I also think I sort of liked being a " rebel " and not joining the masses . I managed to escape the Harry Potter series unscathed , even when each of my family members and friends were dying for me to join their fan club . What changed my mind ? Well , I overheard my friends , Meighan and Abby , talking about the books at church a couple weeks ago and it peaked my interest . My curiosity got the better of me and I caved . Abby was eager and willing to let me borrow her complete set . As I started reading the first book , Twilight , I thought how silly the whole plot was , kind of like Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets romantic tragedy / comedy ( thanks , Lisa , for the analogy . ) But , I have to say about half - way through I was hooked . My house was neglected for 4 1 / 2 days . My exercise routine was rudely disrupted by my very late nights . Jake wondered if I would ever leave the loveseat in our living room . My poor kids had a zombie for a mom . Don 't worry though , I am back . My journey is over . . . We all survived . Thanks again , Abby , for letting me borrow your books . . . I think . ; ) I 'll return them as soon as I finish " The Host . " Hopefully I can have more restraint this time and not read hundreds of pages in one sitting . . . I doubt it . This was fun . Thanks , Karyn . 8 Favorite TV shows . . . 1 . Lost2 . The Office3 . American Idol & So You Think You Can Dance ( tied ! ) 4 . The Biggest Loser5 . America 's Next Top Model6 . Dr . Phil7 . Antiques Roadshow ( yes , I think I 'm a 60 year old woman ; ) ) 8 . Anything on the surgery channel ( 220 ) 8 Favorite Restaurants . . . 1 . Olive Garden2 . Red Robin3 . Spaghetti Factory4 . Emigration Market5 . Hires6 . Morelias7 . Outback8 . Papa John 's ( does that count ? ) 8 things that happened yesterday . . . 1 . Took Ben to kindergarten2 . Met with my trainer at 10am3 . Picked Ben up and gave the kids lunch4 . Put the kids down for naps5 . Ran 3 miles on the treadmill , then showered6 . Made dinner7 . Went to a Stake Primary Presidency training at 7pm8 . Read over 50 pages of " Twilight " before bed8 things to look forward to . . . 1 . Working out and getting skinnier2 . Seeing my parents in a couple weeks when they come visit3 . Finishing the Twilight series4 . Starting my Christmas cards5 . Party tomorrow night with some good friends6 . General Conference this weekend7 . Watching my kids get excited about Halloween8 . Getting excited about the holidays coming8 things I love about Fall . . . 1 . My FAVORITE season ! Love the colors changing2 . Eating hearty , thick soups3 . Wearing sweaters4 . Crisp , cool air5 . Halloween6 . Getting ready for the holidays7 . Shopping for cute sweaters8 . Warm fires at night8 things on my wishlist . . . 1 . Lose 20 more lbs . 2 . Have all our debt paid off ( house , van , student loans . . . you get the picture ! ) 3 . New wardrobe4 . Have all my scrapbooking caught up5 . Date night with Jake6 . Massages upon request7 . fat - free , calorie - free , sugar - free Reese 's peanut butter cups ( and they need to still taste good ! ) 8 . Magically have a spotless house and dinner made every day without having to lift a finger ( we can dream , right ? ! ) 8 people I tag . . . ( don 't have to do it if you don 't want to ) 1 . Ashleigh2 . Mom3 . Whitney4 . Naomi5 . Lisa6 . Cheri7 . Mandy8 . Chelsea W . I 'm a strong - willed woman , wife , mom of three , LDS , U of U grad , runner , gymnastics fanatic , card maker , piano player , slightly OCD , singer , chocolate lover , office manager , cancer survivor , and friend . I started this blog to keep in touch with family and friends , and it slowly turned into my own personal therapeutic outlet . Nothing better than typing out your thoughts , trying to make sense of life .
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Today was my third 6 - week weigh - in and measure with my trainer , so that means I 've been working out for just over 4 months now . In 18 weeks I 've lost : 22 . 1 lbs . 7 % body fat4 . 5 inches from my waist4 inches from my hips1 . 75 inches from my right arm . 75 inches from my right thigh1 inch from my neckSo , my weight loss has been slower than the first 6 weeks , but I assume that 's normal . I weighed more to begin with so had more to lose . Now I 'm getting more toned , so not losing as much , but gaining more muscle . I 'm okay with that . ; ) Something pretty exciting I had to share . . . so I have three piles of pants : 1 ) Fat pants 2 ) Normal pants 3 ) Skinny pants . ( I assume all women have these same categories . ) My " fat pants " I packed away over two months ago . My normal pants were fine for awhile but got pretty loose . So , I 've been wearing my " skinny " pants the past 2 or 3 weeks and just noticed yesterday that the pants I just bought two months ago ( thinking they would be my skinny jeans ) are now getting a little loose . I don 't have any jeans smaller than a 10 . Even after I lost all the baby weight after I had Ben and was in pretty good shape , I was still in 10s and not smaller ( and I weighed 6 lbs . less than I do now ! ) I decided to make a stop at Old Navy today , just to see where I 'm at . ( Don 't worry , Jake . I didn 't buy anything . ;) ) I tried on a size 8 and these jeans fit perfectly . Amazing ! I almost screamed in the dressing room because I was so excited . Then I decided to take it a step further and try on a 6 ( I haven 't worn a 6 since . . . I can 't even remember the last time I did ! Probably in high school . When Jake and I met I was wearing small 8s so probably could have been a 6 , but liked my clothes a little loose . ) So , I pull the size 6s up over my legs and think " Wow . I can actually get them on . " Then . . . I button them . HOLY COW ! I can button size 6s ! I zipped the pants up and realized , even though they were a tad tight and I wouldn 't walk around in public in them just yet , that give me another 2 months and they will probably be Posted by So our vacuum died last week . It was a Hoover Windtunnel ( our second in 2 years ! ) I went to Costco looking for a new one and saw the Dyson DC14 Animal . I 've wanted a Dyson for a long time but couldn 't make Jake see we needed it because we already had a working vacuum . Now that we don 't , I feel it 's time to plead my case . They are $ 399 . 99 at Costco , steep for a vacuum , but to me it would be so worth it . It comes with a 5 - year warranty , which in itself is awesome . My grandma went with me to Costco today to look at vacuums and told me they just bought a Dyson and I should borrow it to see how I like it . I just spent TWO HOURS vacuuming our entire house , stairs included . It was AWESOME . I have never seen so much dirt , hair , dog hair , and who knows what else come out of our floor at one time . I filled two grocery bags of that nasty stuff ( I promise you we are not dirty people , our other vacuum was just crap ! ) So , help me plead my case . Jake does not want to spend $ 400 on a vacuum but I tell him in the end it will be worth it , and we will have a cleaner house . He thinks we can find one for half the price that will do just as well . Is he right ? If any of you have awesome vacuums for less than $ 200 , let me hear it . We need to figure this out soon because I can 't go much longer without one . So , recommendations anyone ? Or should I just convince Jake we really NEED the Dyson ? ; ) So , as funny as this might sound , it 's really not that funny . Today as I was getting dinner ready , I stubbed my toe really hard . Truman , our dog , was sprawled out in the kitchen and I was trying not to step on him and instead slammed my toe into the side of a drawer . I almost kicked the dog out of frustration and pain . Jake laughed and then quickly apologized . I told him it really hurt and I probably broke or sprained it . He said there was no way I could have done that just by smacking it . Well , 2 hours later it 's turning bluish purple ( can 't tell so much in the picture ) and it 's pretty swollen ( twice the size of my other pinky toe . ) It hurts to walk on it or even slightly bend it . I 'm REALLY hoping it 's just jammed and a few days off of it will fix it . I guess this week I better take it easy and focus more on cross training than running . . . which I really do NOT want to do . Geez , of all injuries I could have , it would have to be something with my feet . That 's just plain annoying ! If anyone can give me some advice or have had a similar experience , tell me what you did . My dr called yesterday with my echocardiogram results . He said my heart looked great , younger than it actually is . He said he 's sure all my exercising has paid off in more ways than just losing weight . He said the stress test went really well and the fact I made it 14 minutes was pretty astounding to him ( they had me run on a treadmill and hiked up the incline and speed while my heart rate was being recorded . ) They got it up to 189 and then had me jump back on the table and they did another ultrasound of my heart to see how it acts when it 's stressed . He did mention as I recovered after the test my heart would beat 5 or 6 times in a row without a break . In the short term he said he 's not worried but it 's just something I need to be aware of . If I start feeling chest pains , palpitations , dizzy , etc . I need to stop ( obviously . ) Anyway , he had no reservations about my exercise and said to keep doing what I 'm doing . I was really excited to hear the good news and that my heart acts younger than 27 . YEAH , baby . Exercise can turn back the clock . . . remember that ! As most of you know now , I AM a Democrat and I AM voting for Obama in 13 days . I have been questioned about my views more times than I care to count over the past month or two . I 'm fine talking about it in a civilized manner . What I 'm not okay with is people who attack me and question my morality and judgment because they don 't understand what exactly they are trying to defend ( or attack . ) They base their attacks on half - truths and plain out lies that they consider facts because they heard it from some guy who supposedly heard it from someone else . So , I guess it must be true . . . right ? ? ? I was told last week that Obama has lunch with Al Qaeda terrorists . Come on . Let the mud slinging begin . I 'm not coming on here to say I 'm better than everyone else and anyone who disagrees with me is a moron . I just want to say that if you disagree with me , at least come to the plate with facts . I 'm fine with people supporting McCain . This is what democracy is all about , my right and your right to choose what we think is best for our country . I would just ask that you respect me and my decision to support who I want to support . I was sent this article today by a friend : http : / / blog . dietoyourways . com / default . aspx It was supposed to be mind blowing and make America see " the light " . . . I think . Okay , a few words about it ( and as a disclaimer , this is my blog so if you disagree with me , that 's fine , but it 's still MY blog . ) I think it 's ridiculous and I think it is overly partisan . First off , we need to understand that it is okay to disagree with each others ' opinions . Americans are smart enough to study the issues and choose the candidate they feel represents their beliefs the closest . And I disagree with some of Obama 's beliefs . I think if you agree with one of the candidates 100 % of the time you probably are not thinking critically . I 'm not going to comment on all of the points in that article , especially as many of them are patently false or misleading , but the big one seems to be about the taxes . This is an area that we are just goPosted by I was interviewed this afternoon by a Fox news reporter and the story is going to be on Channel 13 at 9pm . So , everyone tune in so you can see if I make an idiot of myself . ; ) Just a disclaimer , I 'm doped up on cold medicine so who knows what things came out of my mouth . I was interviewed about my Obama sign in our front yard . . . yes , we are Dems and proud of it . Anyway , tune in . It should be a nice little 30 - second blurb . PS Here is the story . ( My 30 - second blurb turned out to be maybe 2 seconds . They edited out my all my witty comments . Oh well . At least Josh looked stinkin ' adorable ! ) I 've had a nasty cold the past three days and so didn 't get my long run in on Saturday , which I was pretty bummed about . Last night I set my alarm for 5 : 15am so I could get a really good workout in to make up for the weekend . Well , my alarm went off and I was not feeling it so I hit snooze . I called the gym 's daycare right when they opened to see if they had an opening this morning and thank goodness , they did ! I went in at 10 : 30am ( I only had about 40 minutes until I had to get the kids and then go pick Ben up from kindergarten . ) I turned on the treadmill and told myself to just make two miles , not push myself , and see how my body was feeling after a 3 - day cold . I felt GREAT , much better than I should have felt after how sick I 've been . I ran 3 miles in 28 : 08 , my fastest 3 mile run so far . ( Maybe I should get sick more often ! ! JOKE . ) I felt so good I wanted to go another mile or two but had to finish up so I could get the kids . I 've lost 21 lbs . now , more than halfway past my goal . I 'm crossing my fingers that in another couple months I 'll be there . Yesterday when I was getting ready for church , I pulled out my skirts and tried them all on . My skinniest skirts are loose which is awesome , but not great for our pocket book . Jake told me I need to learn how to tailor my clothes ( he was joking . . . at least I think he was . ) I told him when I get down to my goal we 're getting me a whole new wardrobe . YEAH , baby ! My motivation is back ! WOO HOO ! ! Thanks for all the inspirational posts last week . I needed a little kick in the butt . Posted by This video cracks me up . Josh does this thing now that Emma used to do when she was his age . When he smiles really big he grinds his teeth together and starts to shake his face and he tightens his fists so they shake too . It 's hysterical . He knows it makes people laugh and is funny so he does it a lot to watch us laugh at him . . . silly boy . We all love him so much . For FHE this week we carved pumpkins . The kids have been waiting to do this for weeks . Emma scooped out two or three handfuls of seeds and then wanted to wash her hands . She definitely doesn 't like to get dirty . Ben was loving it , though and even drew his own picture of what he wanted the face to look like . We have all decided that Jake is the master carver , much better than me . He can make the circles come out perfectly round . I , on the other hand , practically butcher the face . As you can see below , Josh wasn 't about to touch the pumpkin innards . I love that look he is giving Jake . . . " Are you FREAKING CRAZY ? ! I 'm NOT touching that ! ! " Priceless . As silly as this picture is , I had to include it on our blog . I went to Lowes two days ago to buy a new toilet seat and lid because the one for the main bath broke . As I was leaving I saw these garbage cans and grabbed one to replace our nasty , disgusting 8 year old one in the kitchen . The kids think it 's the coolest thing , especially because it has a lid that pops up . . . something our other one didn 't have . If they love them this much , maybe Santa should consider bringing one for each of them ! Who needs Baby Alive and Pokemon stuff ! Truman , the dog . I don 't talk about him much but just know , he is still alive and kicking . His two - week horror of a neuter job is finally over with and he 's back to his normal self . He has needed a trip to the groomer 's for months now and sadly , our dog is the last to get himself taken care of . He 's the 4th forgotten child normally . This week was his week though and I took him to All Dog Grooming for an afternoon of pampering . He looked like a different dog by the time the girl was donPosted by My doctor called this morning with the results of my 24 - hour heart monitor test two weeks ago . He said I 'm " basically fine " but I do have a slight arrhythmia . It 's nothing serious enough to warrant medication or surgery , but just something to be aware of . He did mention a few things that slightly concerned him . My heart rate is pretty high when I exercise ( which I already knew . ) At one point while I was sleeping my heart rate dropped down to 37 . He also mentioned there was a 2 - second gap when there was no heart beat recorded . My dr now wants me to get an echo cardiogram . He said he thinks of the heart in two parts , electrical and plumbing . The heart monitor helped him get a better look at the " electrical " part of my heart . Now he wants to look at the " plumbing " which is the reason for the EC . Overall I 'm not too concerned . It sounds like my heart beat is slightly abnormal but nothing to make me change anything . I can stick with my regular exercise routine , which I 'm happy about . It will be interesting to see what my " plumbing " looks like . As for my workouts , I think I 've finally hit my first slump . I 've been waiting to come off my high and I think I 'm finally down . I 'm still going to the gym 4 - 5 days / week but I 'm not really " feeling " it somedays . I 've had to drag myself out of bed the past week just to get my butt out the door ( something that wasn 't a problem the past two months . ) My weight loss has stalled which is annoying . I 'm sure that can be attributed to my choice in foods the past 2 weeks . I 've stuck with my 1450 cals / day but have chosen a couple things I know I shouldn 't have . So , I 'm using this post to re - dedicate myself to this . I know I need to push myself harder , instead of just being okay with my usual 3 miles and then 100 crunches . I need to do more . I read a sign this morning at the gym that said " The average weight gained during the holidays is 10 lbs . " I don 't want to be " average " so I need to step it up . Who is with me ? ! With Halloween , Thanksgiving and Christmas coming , it 's going to be hard buPosted by I was not prepared to wake up to a Winter Wonderland this morning . It 's not even Halloween yet ! I hope this is not a sign of worse to come this winter . Jake says it 's supposed to be in the 70s next week and I hope he 's right because I am not ready for this . I love fall and don 't want to get cheated out of our cool crisp nights . The first picture is of our front yard and Jake knocking snow off of our scrub oak before the branches broke . The kids were so giddy , clambering to get their snow gear on . It was quite a sight , pulling out all the snow bibs , boots , gloves , hats , and coats . Emma 's size 7 1 / 2 boots definitely don 't fit her anymore , but she was determined to jam her feet into them . Her mittens are a little too small and are cotton so not great for making snowballs . Josh 's size 5 boots should have fit but I think his feet are a little wider than most 1 year olds so they wouldn 't stay on . Oh well . This is a good first run through for the winter season and helps me know what to put on my list of " needs " for the kids . I was anxious to see how Josh would do , his first time playing in the snow . He was intrigued and loved watching the older kids throw snowballs at Truman . When we put him down though and he tried to walk in it and fell , he quickly decided this was not his idea of fun . Emma was in heaven and would have played outside all day if we would have let her . She made tons of snow angels , buried Truman 's chew toys , and threw snowballs at anyone who got in her way . Ben loved pulling the branches up and down and making it " snow . " I think he really enjoys it , but a little less than Emma . He was ready to come in after awhile . . . I don 't blame him . I put Josh in the swing and he seemed to be okay with that . This is the one picture I got with all three kids . Emma looks like she 's in pain , but she 's really not . She was getting impatient and wanting me to hurry and take the picture so she could go back to making more snowballs . Here is my happy Josh . Hopefully he will get used to the snow these next couple months and start Posted by The length of time it took me to finish the 4 books in the Twilight series . I have to admit , I was quite hesitant to read these books just because I know how I get when I 'm sucked into a book that I can 't put down . ( It didn 't help that there was not just ' one ' book , but FOUR . ) When I thought about reading the series , my mind would automatically shift to the last book I was " sucked " into . . . Davinci Code . Let 's just say , it wasn 't a pretty sight . ; ) I also think I sort of liked being a " rebel " and not joining the masses . I managed to escape the Harry Potter series unscathed , even when each of my family members and friends were dying for me to join their fan club . What changed my mind ? Well , I overheard my friends , Meighan and Abby , talking about the books at church a couple weeks ago and it peaked my interest . My curiosity got the better of me and I caved . Abby was eager and willing to let me borrow her complete set . As I started reading the first book , Twilight , I thought how silly the whole plot was , kind of like Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets romantic tragedy / comedy ( thanks , Lisa , for the analogy . ) But , I have to say about half - way through I was hooked . My house was neglected for 4 1 / 2 days . My exercise routine was rudely disrupted by my very late nights . Jake wondered if I would ever leave the loveseat in our living room . My poor kids had a zombie for a mom . Don 't worry though , I am back . My journey is over . . . We all survived . Thanks again , Abby , for letting me borrow your books . . . I think . ; ) I 'll return them as soon as I finish " The Host . " Hopefully I can have more restraint this time and not read hundreds of pages in one sitting . . . I doubt it . This was fun . Thanks , Karyn . 8 Favorite TV shows . . . 1 . Lost2 . The Office3 . American Idol & So You Think You Can Dance ( tied ! ) 4 . The Biggest Loser5 . America 's Next Top Model6 . Dr . Phil7 . Antiques Roadshow ( yes , I think I 'm a 60 year old woman ; ) ) 8 . Anything on the surgery channel ( 220 ) 8 Favorite Restaurants . . . 1 . Olive Garden2 . Red Robin3 . Spaghetti Factory4 . Emigration Market5 . Hires6 . Morelias7 . Outback8 . Papa John 's ( does that count ? ) 8 things that happened yesterday . . . 1 . Took Ben to kindergarten2 . Met with my trainer at 10am3 . Picked Ben up and gave the kids lunch4 . Put the kids down for naps5 . Ran 3 miles on the treadmill , then showered6 . Made dinner7 . Went to a Stake Primary Presidency training at 7pm8 . Read over 50 pages of " Twilight " before bed8 things to look forward to . . . 1 . Working out and getting skinnier2 . Seeing my parents in a couple weeks when they come visit3 . Finishing the Twilight series4 . Starting my Christmas cards5 . Party tomorrow night with some good friends6 . General Conference this weekend7 . Watching my kids get excited about Halloween8 . Getting excited about the holidays coming8 things I love about Fall . . . 1 . My FAVORITE season ! Love the colors changing2 . Eating hearty , thick soups3 . Wearing sweaters4 . Crisp , cool air5 . Halloween6 . Getting ready for the holidays7 . Shopping for cute sweaters8 . Warm fires at night8 things on my wishlist . . . 1 . Lose 20 more lbs . 2 . Have all our debt paid off ( house , van , student loans . . . you get the picture ! ) 3 . New wardrobe4 . Have all my scrapbooking caught up5 . Date night with Jake6 . Massages upon request7 . fat - free , calorie - free , sugar - free Reese 's peanut butter cups ( and they need to still taste good ! ) 8 . Magically have a spotless house and dinner made every day without having to lift a finger ( we can dream , right ? ! ) 8 people I tag . . . ( don 't have to do it if you don 't want to ) 1 . Ashleigh2 . Mom3 . Whitney4 . Naomi5 . Lisa6 . Cheri7 . Mandy8 . Chelsea W . I 'm a strong - willed woman , wife , mom of three , LDS , U of U grad , runner , gymnastics fanatic , card maker , piano player , slightly OCD , singer , chocolate lover , office manager , cancer survivor , and friend . I started this blog to keep in touch with family and friends , and it slowly turned into my own personal therapeutic outlet . Nothing better than typing out your thoughts , trying to make sense of life .
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In case you aren 't all in my head , that title is to the tune of The Four Seasons song " Bye , Bye , Baby ( Baby , Goodbye ) " , which is a great song . So go back and re - read / hum the title to the appropriate tune . Done ? Thank you . Moving on . OK , now I have to listen to my Best of Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons CD while I write this . Alright I 'm ready . I feel like a little kid who is stalling before he goes to sleep ; I 've been to the bathroom , heard a bedtime story and had a drink of water , there 's nothing left but to go to bed . Or BEDA in this case . Once again it seems I am the last of my BEDA buddy group to do a post like this , but I 'm OK with that . I really enjoyed reading Becky , Nicola and Christina 's posts first before writing my own . Honestly , I felt really touched reading all of them and I feel pretty lucky to have been part of this . I happened upon BEDA by accident and decided to be a part of it on a whim . I had heard of Maureen Johnson through my best friend the YA librarian , but had never read any of her books . Sorry ! But I 've since rectified that by reading Devilish this past week . And I am in line for Suite Scarlett at the library . I am very grateful to both her and Jordan Cwierz for conceiving BEDA ; they really are sort of our BEDA parents . MJ even commented on my first BEDA post offering encouragement . Personally , BEDA was good for me in many ways . It got me writing more again , which I haven 't done a lot of since graduating college . It forced me to think more to generate blog ideas . It also forced me to finish several half - written posts from months and months ago that might have remained unfinished for years . It got me out there more reading other people 's blogs . I follow my college friends , but I don 't often go out and find random blogs to read . This changed that . I wrote some posts I really thought were great . Not all of them , that is for sure , but some . There are a few toward the beginning of the month that y ' all should go back and read . Definitely . And then there were my BEDA buddies . I will repeat what they have | Tomorrow is the last day of BEDA . I don 't work at all , which is good because it means I have time to figure out something really good for my last BEDA blog entry . I hope . So since I worked two different jobs today and just got home , I am going to use today 's entry to report on my two monthly goals . First off is BEDA ( Blog Every Day April ) . I didn 't find out about BEDA until April 3rd , so I lost two days at the beginning . But beginning April 3rd , I have produced some sort of blog entry every single day . They weren 't always interesting or great , but they exist . I can 't believe I did it , when before I was posting once a week max , most often less . I do have to admit that I am probably not going to be much better once BEDA is over . I do want to do better , but if I have nothing to say of any import , I won 't say anything that day . I am looking forward to that part . So I get a big pat on the back for BEDA . Second , here I made a personal goal for April about not going out to eat . I am proud to say that I succeeded in the goal to the letter . I did not spend a single dollar on food or drink outside of a grocery store . I went out to eat a total of three times the entire month . I went out once with my dad , once with my mom and once with my mom and sister ( Yeah , I have no real friends in Omaha ) . I am pretty proud of myself because this was hard . If you read the post I linked to , you 'll see that going out to eat is how I survive . It 's easy and I can grab it on my way to / from work . What did I eat all month ? I don 't really know . A TON of mashed potatoes for one thing . Each afternoon before work if I had no idea what to eat , I made mashed potatoes . So many potatoes were sacrificed to this project of mine . So overall April went well for me , as hard as it was . I am tempted to start making a new resolution each month to see how I do . Small exercises in self control , which is something I often lack . For now though , I am definitely getting Chinese on Friday . I miss that stuff ! Look . It 's right there at the end of the word . My name is important to me - my full name : Autumn Lee Hill . It flows so well , but it almost sounds made up . Like a stage name or a nom de plume . Take out the middle name and it sounds like a housing development or a housing complex , especially if you pluralize my last name . When I was a child I had an aversion to my first name because I went through this phase where I wanted everything personalized , and my name wasn 't always easy to find . I felt the frustration keenly . But I quickly got over it . It 's not so rare that people mispronounce it or get confused , but rare enough that people pause and remark on . Yes I do get a lot of dumb jokes , mostly from older men when I am waiting tables , and no one seems to be able to spell it even though it 's a noun , but these are fairly minor irritants . But I highly doubt losing my first name will ever be an issue . The part of my name most in jeopardy is my last name . It 's a pretty great last name . Short , simple , easy to spell . Another noun . I have no intention of changing it . Ever . I could spout out all these feminine ideals as my reasons , but I won 't . While I do consider myself a feminist in many ways , that 's not truly the reason I want to keep it . I don 't even know if I could tell you the reasons why it is so important to me ; it just is . Part of it is that I have spent about a quarter of a century now trying to figure out who Autumn Lee Hill is . I still don 't have a full handle on it , and I don 't see a reason to try and change who I am and start the process over again just because I get married . Now this might be a moot point altogether . I really have no strong inclinations toward marriage . I have nothing against marriage ; most of my friends are all married and seem happy . I just can 't really see Autumn getting married . It 's just not me . Who knows ? I know my parents hope I eat my words and tie the knot someday . I once entered into a mock engagement with this guy I worked with . I honestly don 't remember how it came about . One of the first t | I have an announcement to make . I already posted that there is a new car in my life . Over a week into the relationship things are going well . I am getting rid of that new car smell I don 't like and making my Rav my own . There was only one problem . My car needed a name , and it was really bugging me . Now I didn 't grow up in a family that named cars . I wasn 't even aware people did it until I got to college . My first semester I had a roommate whose car was named Clyde . Her family also had an old Bonneville , so they named their cars Bonnie & Clyde . I thought that was pretty cute . I didn 't have a car my freshman year , so naming my own wasn 't an issue . I didn 't think about it again until that summer . That was when my parents helped me get my first car : a 1998 Honda Civic . I was working at a restaurant over the summer , and there was this busboy who firmly believed in naming cars . He had a whole reasoning behind it that I no longer remember . He was insistent I name my car , and I had nothing against the idea so I did . I named her Isabelle , Izzy for short . Then the summer after college I was tired of Izzy and ready for something new . I didn 't set out to get a Land Rover , and that was probably one of the larger mistakes I 've made to date , but I won 't go into how or why that happened here . Long story short , I traded Izzy in for Murdock : a 2002 Land Rover Freelander . Since Murdock was a bigger car , he just didn 't seem like a girl to me . A Land Rover felt like it had to be a boy car . I wanted to name him Hannibal , but after the main character in The A - Team not Hannibal Lecter . I knew no one would think of the right Hannibal if I did that , so I stuck with The A - Team and named him Murdock . I should NOT have named my car after a crazy person . That brings us up to the present . I am assuming you 've all figured out by now that my announcement pertains to my new car 's name . It does . I was having a problem because I really wanted to name it Ingrid , but it just did not feel like a girl . I toyed around with a few butler - type names like Jeeves a | OK . Correct me if I am wrong , but isn 't it true that practice makes perfect ? Shouldn 't you get better at things over time ? That 's the way it works for normal people right ? Right . So it 's just me then . Tonight did not go super well at the restaurant , and lately I 've felt like I 've lost my touch a bit serving . It 's probably in my head , and I don 't feel it every shift , but I still feel it sometimes . Mostly I just blame it on working in La Vista . Everything was much better when I worked in Omaha itself ! But it did get me to thinking about my athletic history . Now I am not the most graceful of people . In any way . I get along OK , but I don 't dance through life . I stumble , trip and run into lots of walls and sharp corners . Let 's just say I am not a natural born athlete . I can catch decently well if I am focused , but that 's about all I have going for me . Anyway , the reason I was thinking about sports tonight is because with many such activities I tend to get worse the more I practice . Once summer when I was in high school my mom enrolled me in a tennis camp that lasted a couple of weeks . The first day the adults in charge ( coaches I guess ) told me I was a natural . I was doing well and feeling good . But as the camp progressed , I just got worse and worse the more we played . By the end of the camp I was just awful at tennis . And I didn 't understand it . Also bowling . It 's not technically a sport , but it 's another fine example of my ability to unimprove ( I 'm getting a red line for that word , but I say it is a word ) . Now I took a bowling class in college and I didn 't have the same problem as I did with tennis . I actually improved over the course of the semester . However , outside of that , I have found that the more often I bowl the worse I am . If I haven 't bowled in a long time , I tend to do pretty well . But if I bowl several games , or if my bowling excursions occur closer together , I get a lot worse . Why is that ? Does that make sense to anyone ? I have accepted that I am quirky and a little weird ; that doesn 't bother me . But I just do | What I like about this image is that it has that one way sign in the background , which is very prophetic . I think others like me will agree : Once you fall in love with Broadway , there 's no turning back . I 've made it pretty clear that I love musicals . I LOVE musicals . As in I am OBSESSED with them . I have been for about a decade , if not longer . I remember when I was 15 and my dad and I went to New York City just the two of us and he took me to The Phantom of the Opera . I can pinpoint that incredible experience as the moment I was hooked . From there on out it was just love love love love love . I get asked a lot which ones I like , and that is such a hard question because there are so many and that is a lot to bombard someone with when I know they just want a short answer . So I decided to give you an idea of how much musicals consume my life . I 'm going to provide you with a couple of lists to peruse at your leisure . First off cast albums . To put this in perspective , iTunes says I have 116 albums that I 've classified as musicals . Some of these are only one song , but you get the idea . I 've collected these albums through various means throughout the years . And as with any collection , there are " pieces " I prefer above others , albums I don 't listen to so much anymore . I decided to group them by the people who wrote the music and lyrics because it made sense as I was doing this and I think it is just as important to know who wrote the song as it is to know who sings it . OBC / OOBC : Original Broadway / Off - Broadway Cast , BR : Broadway Revival , L : LondonFull Albums : Adam Guettel : The Light in the Piazza ( 2005 OBC ) Alan Menken , Howard Ashman & Glenn Slater : The Little Mermaid ( 2008 OBC ) Alan Menken , Howard Ashman & Tim Rice : Beauty and the Beast ( 1994 OBC ) Andrew Lippa : The Wild Party ( 2000 OOBC ) Andrew Lloyd Webber & Charles Hart : The Phantom of the Opera ( 1986 OLC ) Andrew Lloyd Webber & Tim Rice : Evita ( 1979 OBC & 1996 Film ) Arthur Sullivan & W . S . Gilbert : The Pirates of Penzance ( 1981 BC ) Benny Andersson & Björn Ulvaeus : Mamma Mia ! ( 1999 | As Becky and Christina did already , I am stealing this survey from Nicola , who said she stole it from Book Travellers Inc . Apparently we are a group who all love books . Yay ! Bookmark or bent page ? Paper clip actually . I started it a few months ago and love it . There was a learning curve where I scratched a few pages : - ( but I worked out the kinks . Have you ever been offered a book ? Not really . I guess it depends what you mean . I 've received books as presents from friends before . That 's the closest I 've gotten to being offered a book . Do you read in your bath ? The last bath I took had Strawberry Shortcake bubbles and a rubber ducky . I don 't like baths , so no . But with me water and a book is just asking for trouble . Have you already thought about writing a book ? I did for awhile in high school , after I took this great creative writing class . I even had a plot planned out . I was going to write a modern version of the Good Samaritan story , and apply it to this project I had to at my parents ' church . I even had some of the characters and little plot devices worked out . I got excited about it again briefly in college when I found a Samaria Road not too far from there . But it faded quickly . I bet I have all that on my computer somewhere still . What do you think about books in several volumes ? Bring it on . When I love a book , I go through withdrawal when it 's over , so going back in again is perfect for me . Just looking over at my bookshelf now I see a lot of groups of three or more . Do you have a cult book ? I guess Harry Potter would be my biggest cult books that I read . I got sucked in like everyone else . Do you like to re - read ? Yeah . When I was younger I had this one book , I don 't even remember which anymore , that I read over and over , at least a dozen times . Couldn 't get enough . That 's my record though . I do re - read books , especially if it 's a series where a new one is about to come out . More often I will go back and just re - read sections of books , parts I really liked . What about meeting or not with the authors of the books you 've | A couple of weeks ago I went to the grocery store with my dad . It was a pretty routine trip that included an excursion down the cereal aisle . We came to an agreement that some Frosted Flakes sounded good ; I myself hadn 't had them in a long time . They 're quite delicious . Well I automatically reached out for a box of Kellogg 's Frosted Flakes , and I had it in my hand when I noticed my father had gone in another direction . Toward the dreaded bags of off - brand cereal . Well , not dreaded so much as just a place I have never ventured . Don 't ask me why but I ALWAYS buy name brand cereal . I never had a bad experience with bag cereal , though I don 't remember ever eating it much , I just don 't buy it . I never have . I can 't give you a single logical reason why . People can be very particular about what brands they buy . I am no different . There are some things where I just go for the cheapest and couldn 't care less about what brand that happens to be , but some things , like cereal , HAVE to be name brand . There are other times where I always buy the off brand over the name brand because I like it better . Like milk . I will not drink some of the national brands , like Roberts and Blue Bunny , because I think they have a weird taste . My favorite brand of milk is Wal - Mart 's Great Value brand of all things . For me it is the most consistently good - tasting milk around . There are others I will drink , but that 's my favorite . For my mom , she almost always goes for the least expensive , like most moms , but when it comes to whipped topping , she always buys Cool Whip . That is a brand she is very loyal to . I was going to ask her for others , but she 's asleep now . Oh well . Oh and cream cheese : I only buy Philadelphia cream cheese . And as my mom has learned recently , I have to have Idaho potatoes . Although with that I lived there for four years so I feel I 'd be unfaithful if I bought potatoes grown elsewhere . The brand issue tends to escalate with soda . I 've especially noticed this working in restaurants . While most people don 't care that much , there are pe | Hello , my name is Autumn and I 'm an addict . My weakness is movie captions ; I can 't seem to kick the habit . And I 'm not trying that hard , so that could be the reason . It 's pretty rare that I watch a movie and don 't turn the subtitles on immediately . * Note to reader : I am vaguely aware that there is a difference between captions and subtitles , but I don 't care and will be using the two words interchangeably throughout this post . * I remember when I realized how dependent I was on subtitles . It was a couple of months ago . I was watching a movie before I went to sleep , a bad habit I 'm aware but I don 't care . And I pressed the subtitle button per usual , and it had Spanish and something else , Korean I think , but no English . And I was so irritated . And then I had to stop and realize that I was irritated due to a lack of captions . Wow . It 's hard to remember where it started . I think watching foreign films like Life Is Beautiful first got me accustomed to reading captions and watching a movie at the same time . After awhile you get so engrossed you don 't even realize you 're reading them . From there I started turning them on briefly to catch dialogue I hadn 't heard or understood the first time . I 'd rewind the movie a bit , turn the subtitles on and watch the part I hadn 't heard to see what they were saying ; then I 'd turn them off again . At some point I jumped straight from that to full on watching every movie intentionally with subtitles . And there are pros and cons to doing this . I am much more of a visual person than an audio person . My retention when someone is talking to me is much less than when I read the same information for myself . So for me I get more out of a movie when I see what is being said as opposed to just hearing it . Plus there are a lot of actors out there with accents I can 't always decipher and others whose diction just is not good . And I like knowing how characters ' names I like knowing how they are spelled ; it makes them more real . Something else I 've noticed is that there are many movies where characters in th | I was just downstairs finishing lunch with my mom and glancing through the paper . After I read the comics I glanced through this day in history and famous birthdays . As I read the birthdays , here is what my commentary to my mom was . Me : It 's the queen 's birthday today . Mom : The current queen ? Me : Yeah , Queen Elizabeth II . Mom : She 's 80 something , right ? Me : Yeah , 83 . I look farther down the page . Me : It 's Patti LuPone 's birthday today ! ! ! Mom : I don 't know who that is . Me : She 's a huge Broadway star , I love her ! Yeah , I don 't know what that says about me . I mean I know I 'm not British , but still . I got way more excited about Patti 's birthday than the queen 's . And it doesn 't seem wrong per se , I guess it just makes me laugh . I will always get more excited about anything Broadway than I will about pretty much anything else outside my family and friends . And hey , Patti was the original Evita , plus she 's won two Best Actress Tonys and been nominated for three more so she is most definitely Broadway royalty . So happy birthday to Queen Elizabeth II . And happy birthday Patti ! ! I just love alliteration . I am the last of my " support " group to do this , but at least I 'm getting it done . Most of you know that I 've suddenly been posting on my blog every day because I committed to BEDA : Blog Every Day April . It 's been hard because I don 't always have something worth saying . But our BEDA guru and creator , Maureen Johnson , came up with the concept of BEDA buddies . Anyone who was interested gave her a short summary of themselves and she took the time to pair us up . I figured why not and just from what little I 've learned of my buddies so far I am glad I did it . She really took the time and effort to match us well . So this post is to tell my new buddies a little about myself . My buddies are Christina , Nicola and Becky and I put links to their blogs on the left side of mine . I did it for my own convenience , but this way any of you who want to support them with me can . I am 24 and I live in Omaha , Nebraska . I just moved back in with my parents right after Christmas , so I really understand your feelings on that Christina . As interesting as moving back home can be , my parents and I get along well and I am blessed to be here ( And no I am not just saying that because my dad reads my blog ) . It is giving me a chance to get caught up financially and figure a few things out . I have my bachelor 's degree in print journalism , which is an industry I am now being forced to watch die . It makes me really sad . I enjoy writing and a bit of design work , but my specialty and passion is copy editing . And don 't judge by my blog because I don 't edit my own work well . Right now I am waiting tables while I try to figure out whether I want to copy edit or become a librarian and pursue my MLS . I would like to find a way to do both . I love to read , and I always have . I read a lot of historical fiction and YA literature ( ever since that Children 's Lit class I took in college ) . I love to watch movies , especially old musicals from the ' 40s and ' 50s . I am obsessed with Broadway musicals . I said my passion is copy editing , and it is , but | I think we all know that Murdock and I had a very unhealthy , codependent relationship . I don 't think it was working out for either of us , but I had so much invested in the relationship that breaking away was very difficult . I was torn . I felt trapped ; I was afraid I would be stuck with him forever . But not anymore ! Murdock is no longer a part of my life . I finally broke it off , and there is a new car in my life now . A car I have inexplicably desired since college when this guy I hardly knew had one and I rode in it once . A silver 1999 Toyota Rav4 . It 's the same kind of car as Murdock was , just a different ( and better ) make . For some reason I really like those small SUVs : " cute utes " as someone dubbed them . Murdock was a Land Rover Freelander , but a bit bigger and a V6 . My new car is a 4 - cylinder , which doesn 't bug me and means better gas mileage . I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders with Murdock gone . We had a very intense love / hate relationship , but it was ALWAYS something with that car . I forever lived with the worry of what was going to break or die next with him . But every time I thought about trading him in , I couldn 't do it because I did love my car in theory . In actuality he just kind of really drained me . Land Rovers are not cheap cars . Now I finally have my Rav . Woot ! Yet while I am excited , I feel like Murdock sort of jaded me . I was so excited and in love with that car when I first got it . And it proved to be one of the biggest mistakes I 've ever made . And I have no problem with mistakes , but along with the excitement is the worry that if I picked this car out there must be something wrong with it . I can 't shake the paranoia that after Murdock I am forever fated to get screwed when it comes to cars . But I am trying to shake that and even if this car has problems , they will be a whole helluva lot cheaper to fix than ' Dock 's were ! Now on to the photos . Oh , and the name is coming but I am having trouble deciding whether this car is a boy or a girl ! The profile . The face . Grrrr . And these are | So I got a new car today . Yeah , no more Murdock . I will blog about that in full tomorrow , because by the time I got home from work it was too dark for pictures . And there must be pictures . I am drawing a total blank . And as well all have learned this month , what does Autumn do when she doesn 't have anything she feels like writing about ? She posts a YouTube video ! Lazy , but I don 't care tonight . I am tired and idea free . I don 't know any details about how the events in the following video came about , it obviously wasn 't spontaneous , but either way it is a cool thing to do . I would love the chance to be a part of something like this . I 'm not sure if anyone actually watches the videos when I post them because no one ever comments on the posts when it 's just a video . So WATCH THIS . I 'm about to fall asleep . I have been waiting tables for over seven years now , and working for Chili 's ( though at four different locations ) for almost exactly two years . Counting all those Chili 's locations as one , I have worked for six different restaurants ( one for only about two weeks though ! ) . And I do enjoy it , or I wouldn 't have kept it up this long . Other people in the " business " will agree that most restaurants are essentially the same . Rearrange the menu , alter the uniform a bit and there you go : the people really don 't change . The same type of people who work at restaurants are the same type of people who work at all restaurants for the most part . And the duties don 't change much either . Some are worse than others , but I believe the one most universally hated by servers is rolling silverware . I know I always hated it . As silly as it sounds , one of the things I love MOST about Chili 's is that they don 't make you roll . They keep the silverware in bins and you set the pieces down in front of each person . That right there is why I am a Chili - head . What does rolling silverware entail do you ask ? Well at most restaurants your silverware comes rolled up in a napkin , sometimes in a cloth napkin and sometimes in a paper one with one of those sticky bands holding it together . I 've had to do it both ways . I hate sticky bands . But the servers are the ones who assemble the rolls before they get out to the tables . Depending on the night , how busy it was and how many servers are working , you can get stuck rolling at least 100 sets of silverware per shift . More on weekends . Not a fun job for anyone . Not a job I miss in any way shape or form . And it is hard on your neck and back after a while too . But I am in the process of starting at another restaurant in addition to Chili 's , one I actually worked for one summer in college : Old Chicago . Great restaurant , which is mostly found in the Midwest . It occurred to me this week that in returning to this restaurant I would once again be forced into rolling servitude . I have resigned myself to my fate , becau | My sister has been out of state for college since the beginning of the year ; she gets home in just under a week . Do you know what I am most excited about being able to do when she gets here ? I will finally be able to close my bedroom door ! You can 't imagine what that means to me . You 're probably wondering why I can 't do so now . It 's very simple : Pepper , my sister 's cat . This thing is the most skittish , annoying cat I 've ever met . You can 't touch her or hold her or anything like that . She wants to be ignored , but still wants to be able to come and go as she pleases . With my sister gone she has turned to me , sort of . She likes to sleep on my bed , where I am allowed to pet her sometimes but never hold her . But when I try to sleep she starts mewling in my ear , stepping on my chest and eating my hair . If I try to shut my door to keep her out , she scratches on it , de - clawed though she is , incessantly . I have tried to wait her out , but she does not stop . She never gives up , never says die . And when I finally get out of bed and open the door , she doesn 't even always come in . She just likes knowing she can later . She is not the only problem either . My mom has a little dog : Snuggles . I have become her caretaker when my parents are out of town , to save some money where they would have had to board her before . Despite my best efforts , the little bugger has gotten under my skin . She smells awful , but she has a cute face . Katie she actually reminds me a bit of Teddy . Same size , same odd little sneer , just white . She and the cat act like siblings too : constantly playing / fighting . To put this in perspective though ; I AM NOT A PET PERSON . At all . I like animals , just not pets . And yes there is a difference . I think kittens and puppies are cute along with the rest of the world , I just don 't want them in my home . I can enjoy other people 's pets , but all I need is five minutes of an animal and I 'm good . That 's it . My parents and my friend Stephanie all laugh at the person who doesn 't like pets , but who often can be found with he | It 's interesting how we have a tendency to attach objects to our memories . The memory itself doesn 't always seem to be enough ; we also need the T - shirt or the key chain to remind us . And it can be hard to get rid of items like that . I took my first trip to Europe a year and a half ago . I didn 't have my blog yet , but I spent two and a half weeks backpacking around Ireland and the UK with Steph , one of my closest friends from college . It was one of the best experiences of my life . And I have this shirt I 've always liked because it reminds me of those experiences . It 's not even a shirt I bought while on this trip . It 's a basic green polo shirt I bought at Target right before my trip . There is nothing at all special about the shirt itself . But it 's the shirt I wore in London when Steph and I had our picture taken in front of Big Ben . It 's the shirt I wore in the Dingle Peninsula in Ireland when Steph and I took a bike ride to a beach a couple miles away from our hostel . Really it 's the shirt I wore for about half the trip , if not more ( we packed light ) . And since then every time I wear it I feel a little happier . But after wearing it all through that trip and after , and considering it was a cheap polo from Target , you can imagine the state it is in now . This past weekend I finally had to admit defeat . I was forced to concede that enough was enough and it was time to say goodbye to my Europe shirt . So off it went with the trash yesterday morning , never to be seen again . And I know I have the memories , I have my other souvenirs and a ton of pictures , plus I have Steph . But I still feel a little bit sad about losing that shirt . So I had a regular post planned for today , but it can wait . I was reading Libba Bray 's blog , she is the author of the Gemma Doyle trilogy starting with A Great and Terrible Beauty ( fabulous books by the way ! ) , and she had posted a link to a YouTube video . I watched it and it was just exactly the kind of thing I needed to see today . It boosted me up and even got me a bit misty , so I wanted to share it with anyone who happens to catch my blog ( I know I cheated and just posted YouTube videos all weekend , but this one was honestly unplanned . ) . Click here to watch it , the embedding had been disabled . Please watch it , maybe it will cheer someone else up today . Well it 's not even quite the middle of the month and I 'm feeling tired . I 'm tired of trying to write every day and tired of not going out to eat . On this particular Monday I am feeling no desire to continue with either of my April goals . This is why I HAVE to finish them . I sincerely lack follow through in my personal life . If I can force myself to do it on a small scale , then I can move on to bigger things . So I am kind of wimping out today by making this count as my blog post , but at least I wrote something . And I haven 't cheated on the eating out thing . I just REALLY REALLY want some Chinese take out ! I almost forgot to blog today . It was in the back of my mind all morning , and the next thing you knew I was at work . But since we were so completely dead at work tonight and I made no money , I was able to come home earlier than anticipated . Woohoo for me . This means I can still manage to squeeze out a blog entry before the day officially ends in an hour . Only problem is I am completely blank on something to write about . There are no thoughts in my head . I could complain about life as a server but I had no bad tables tonight per se , just no tables . So I decided it was time for you all , my friends , to meet Audra . Audra McDonald is incredible . She is bar none my favorite contemporary Broadway female singer . Her voice is so amazing and her talent just astounds me . The woman has won four Tony awards and been nominated for more . I know her best from her work in Ragtime , Marie Christine and 110 in the Shade . She also has several CDs of her own she 's put out . For tonight at least , I picked one of my favorite live performances of hers that I never tire of watching . She is singing the song " Down With Love " , which she blows out of the water . Just watch it . I am sure you 'll be impressed . P . S . The message of the song is not the reason I posted it . " What do you want to be when you grow up ? " This is a question plied to us all the moment we start speaking and are capable of a response . Most kids change their minds several times throughout childhood ( and college ) , and like them I went through several phases with this question . My dreams weren 't typical : I never wanted to be a doctor or a teacher or a fire fighter or anything like that . But I accomplished all my childhood dreams by the time I graduated from college almost exactly three years ago ( Wow ! ) . My first goal for my grown - up self was to be a waitress . Yeah , I know . I have no idea what I thought a waitress did at the time or why I found whatever that was to be so glamorous , but that is what I wanted to do with my life . I got my first restaurant job when I was 17 and have been working in the industry fairly steadily since then , so for seven years now ( Again , wow ! ) . My second goal was to be a librarian ( And yes I know the picture is of a boy . ) . I have been an avid reader since I first learned how , and I have always been in love with libraries . They seemed such magical places to me as a kid ; I wanted so badly to work or volunteer in one . When I was a senior in high school I did volunteer at my local library branch for a couple of weeks to fulfill a community service requirement for my Civics class . And when I was a sophomore in college I got a job at the campus library and worked there for three years until I graduated . So you see I had fulfilled all my life goals before my 22nd birthday . And what is interesting is that in both cases , I didn 't get those jobs with those goals in mind . It wasn 't until much later that I recalled my childhood goals and realized I had inadvertently achieved them . As a non - goal - oriented person and lifelong procrastinator , it was a huge shock to my system . I set a goal … achieved it … and before any kind of deadline ? That is so unlike me ! Now I am scrambling in my brain to remember if there are any other goals I accidentally set and completed . I 'm not sure I could handle another surp | And yes , I spelled that correctly . I am not using this blog to expound on my love for Cheetos and say lots of nice things about them . They turn you fingers and your teeth orange and I don 't appreciate that . I am talking about foods that go wonderfully well with Cheetos . Most people experimented with food combinations when they were children . If you like A and you like B , it stands to reason that AB will be utterly amazing . Unfortunately , that is often not the case . I remember an episode of Full House where Michelle was trying to earn her cooking badge for some kind of Girl Scout equivalent . She used that philosophy and came up with all kinds of disgusting dishes , including Tuna Cream : tuna and Oreo ice cream mixed together . For most of us , even the experiments we deemed successful as children - I had a friend whose cousin liked ketchup on his donuts - eventually faded away as we got older . I have forgotten all of mine but one . I don 't know when I started doing it , but I LOVED to dip Cheetos in my strawberry yogurt . I thought it was THE best thing . And it always had to be strawberry , because that 's really the only flavor of yogurt I 've ever liked . It always had to be Dannon Fruit on the Bottom strawberry yogurt . Always . I am sure my mother loved that . The interesting thing about this though , and the reason I still remember it so vividly , is that it never faded . I STILL LOVE Cheetos in my strawberry yogurt . I think the last time I had it was about three weeks ago . Downstairs now there are Cheetos in my pantry and strawberry yogurt in my fridge , still Dannon Fruit on the Bottom . I know what you 're all thinking , exclamations along the lines of " Ewww ! " and " Gross ! " , but have you ever tried it ? I doubt it ; it 's an Autumn Hill special . And I have no doubt that you all have at least one food concoction you 've retained from your childhood . You try mine and I 'll try yours . I had a bit of an odd dream last night . I don 't remember the bulk of it , but the part I do remember bothered me a bit . It bothered me because Dream Autumn did something I 've always promised myself I would never do . The part of my dream I do remember involved Raúl Esparza . It wasn 't anything dirty ; I just dreamed that I met him . Now for you non - Broadway fanatics , Raúl Esparza has become one of my favorite modern Broadway leading men . I know him best from Jonathan Larson 's Tick , Tick . . . Boom ! and the recent revival of Stephen Sondheim 's Company . He also had a small role in Pushing Daisies playing traveling salesman Alfredo Aldarisio , who was sweet on Kristin Chenoweth 's character , Olive . I couldn 't believe it when I recognized him there . Anyway , he 's a great actor with an amazing voice , and as I said I am a fan . So in this dream I met him in the back of some sort of auditorium , and Dream Autumn freaked out . She was so excited and just gushed at the poor man . Now I haven 't really had any encounters with famous people . I had my photo taken with Ingrid Michaelson , which was amazing , but there wasn 't a chance to say anything . But for as long as I can remember I have always promised myself that if I did meet a " star " I was a fan of , I would not be one of those screaming , gushing fans . I can 't stand them at all . I see them on TV or wherever and I just want to smack some sense into them . I 've always said I would be calm , do my best not to interfere in whatever they were doing and simply tell them I was a fan of their work or their voice . Possibly ask for a picture depending on the circumstances . ( Then of course they 'd think I was cool for acting normally and be my friend . ) But all that went right out the window when Dream Autumn met Mr . Esparza . I feel so betrayed by the light of day . I mean next thing you know Dream Autumn is going to be driving a Smart car , eating out all month and not blogging every day in April . Where does it end ? Does anyone remember that old TV show from the early ' 90s Dinosaurs ? I vaguely remember watching it , but the thing I remember most is that fat little baby constantly hitting his dad ( I think with a frying pan ) and screaming " Not the mama ! " I don 't know why that particular image has remained in my head , but there it is . And I have felt more and more of a kinship with that creepy looking little baby . In my life , I am the baby and my Dell laptop is the dad . I 'm not sure quite what the frying pan is in my situation , just increasingly intense insults I guess , but I know for sure who the mama is . Did you figure it out ? I kind of gave it away in the title . My mama is the Mac I do not own yet . And if I were willing and able to waste an adequate piece of machinery , taking a frying pan to my laptop would not be far off . I had no real Mac exposure until I got to college and changed my major to journalism . That 's where we met . And it was awkward at first , as we got to know each other and learned to navigate around our little quirks . But soon it was love . Two blissful years together before my pending graduation tore us apart . I 've made do with my laptop , we 've had our occasional good times , but I suffer from Mac withdrawal that gets worse and worse as time goes by . And I can 't necessarily break it down into why I love one and intensely dislike the other , I just do . And this is not intended as a judgment against PC lovers out there : To each his or her own . When I first got my laptop three years or so ago it asked me to name it . So I got out my French dictionary and looked up the word reliable : Fiable . That proved to be a case of not living up to your name . So a couple of weeks ago , I honestly went into my computer and renamed it . Fiable re - emerged as Not - the - Mac , upon which I am now typing this blog entry . Not - the - Mac and I have consented to co - exist until such a time when I have enough money to kick him out of the house for something better . And if my new Mac happens to look like Justin Long , that 'll just be the icing on the cake ( B | I was at a loss today for what to blog about . I have some ideas for the month , but I didn 't feel like expounding on any of them for today 's post . I commented on my Facebook status that I wasn 't sure what to write , and my friend Katie suggested chickens . So I figured why not . However , I have encountered a little snag : I don 't know a single thing about chickens . I mean , I 've never owned one , or cared for one or even been traumatized by one . Never . I don 't have a creepy fascination with them , and I don 't collect chicken figurines or stuffed animals . I don 't even know any decent chicken jokes . I looked them up on Wikipedia , checked YouTube , looked up both chicken . com and chickens . com and came up totally blank . Wow , this is a lot harder than I thought . But Katie is a good friend of mine and one of my few faithful blog followers . If she wants chickens today , I am going to give her chickens . ( By the way , I picked the above picture , because that my friends is a chicken with attitude . ) Then I realized of course , knowing my friend Katie , that there is one particular chicken I know she loves . That would be Chicken Little . More specifically , the cute little guy from the 2005 animated movie , voiced by Zach Braff . He 's got to be the most adorable chicken ever created . So , Katie , for today I will give you a little bit of Chicken Little . And tomorrow I will return to writing a blog post containing more of my sparkling wit you 've all grown so used to . Over the past few days , I have been watching the BBC mini - series Bleak House , which is based on the novel by Charles Dickens . It is pretty awesome I must say , so thanks Steph for telling me about it what , a year and a half ago ? So after I came down off the high of watching the very end of it last night , I started thinking about Dickens , which is not so much of a high for me . I cannot figure that man out . At least , I can 't figure out how I feel about him as an author . Biggest example : A Tale of Two Cities . I never had to read that book in high school or college , but last summer of my own accord , I sat down to read it . To be honest though , my motivation was because of a boy . My favorite set of Broadway pipes , James Barbour , was set to play Sydney Carton in the musical version that was then on its way to Broadway , and has since , sadly , closed . I wanted to be familiar with the story in anticipation for the show . I am such a Broadway nerd ! The point here is , I sat down to read that book , voluntarily , and I still had to force my self to continue page after page . It took me forever . And when I was finished , I was so confused . Not about the storyline , I understood that , but about my own opinions . Is it possible to love a story while hating the way it 's told ? I am sorry Mr . Dickens , but I really do not like the way you write . And yet I have to say you created some pretty amazing storylines . I managed to hate the book and love the story simultaneously . And after I read A Tale of Two Cities , I watched the 1935 movie with Ronald Colman as Sydney Carton and thought with was wonderful . And with Bleak House , I loved the story a lot , but I will never ever sit down and read the book . Why ? Because I wouldn 't want to ruin it for myself . Am I the only one who feels this way about one of the most popular English novelists of his time ? I have never been an especially goal - oriented person . It 's not that I wander life with no direction or purpose ; I 've just never been one to set down goals . I don 't think I 've ever once made a New Year 's Resolution , let alone tried to go about keeping it . But with this commitment I 've made to Blog Every Day in April , resolutions are on my mind . Now granted , the one I plan to make today is on a very small scale , but it is a resolution nonetheless . And here it is . I cannot cook . My parents like to argue this , and I will admit there are a few small exceptions , but in the grand scheme of things : ME NO COOK - Y . I don 't enjoy it that much , and honestly , where is the motivation when you are cooking for one ? My philosophy : Why take the time and effort to make something that tastes mediocre at best , when you can pay someone else to make something slightly better than mediocre with the possibility of deliciousness . ( OK , apparently that is actually a word , because Blogger didn 't put a red line under it . How surprising . ) So as you can tell from my attitude , I go out to eat a lot . Not fancy restaurants of course , but not quite fast food either . I try to find the good stuff in between . And for the most part , I don 't see a problem with this . However , at present I am quite skint ( broke ) and finding it hard to curb such a lifelong habit . I mean , to this day I don 't recall how I survived college . It mostly conjures up images of a lot of potatoes , which I am sure my former roommates will all back up . So on to the actual resolution : For the month of April , and I can truthfully say from April 1st , I am only allowed to go out to eat a maximum of once a week . AND , that is only if I am dining out with another person , most likely my parents since I don 't really know anyone else in Omaha . Even as I make this resolution I don 't have a clear idea of what I will live off in April , but I have no intention of thinking that far ahead . I will achieve my goal ! ( She says as she heads off to her job at a restaurant ! ) Though actually I rarely eat there . So last night , in a roundabout way , I discovered a project called Blog Every Day April . To the best of my knowledge the person heading it is an author named Maureen Johnson , whom I 'd heard of through my personal librarian Steph . You can go to her Web site to read her blog entry introducing the idea . She is trying to get as many people involved as she can and will feature a random blogger each day . I have read the blogs of the first two and they are quite interesting . I think it 's a great idea , and wish I had heard of it sooner so I could have started participating on April 1 . As such , I will have to decide sometime this month how or if I will make up those lost two days . Now I don 't know how well I will maintain this , coming up with 30 straight ( well 28 ) days worth of clever , interesting blog posts might be beyond me just now . So I cannot promise they will be interesting , but I can promise I will post something each day for the rest of the month of April . I checked just now and there are at least 283 bloggers who have signed up to participate . I don 't know if I will actually submit my blog as one of them , but I will still follow along with this . As always I love feedback , so feel free to follow along and make comments . http : / / blogeverydayapril . blogspot . com /
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We had the the infamous family gathering at Caversham Mill ( a restaurant - not Dave getting the family together for grinding ) . The puns flew the chocolate block ( very special red wine ) circulated as did most of the food - we all always order different meals as we all like to taste things . It brought back the most obvious thing that makes emigrating hard - moving from the security of that network of family and friends . The farewells along the road make things harder . I am sure we 'll make a new network - started already - but it is hard on those who stay too . I must say I find the ' we 'll never see you again ' very harsh . I keep pointing out that the world is a smaller place , and the future an uncertain country itself We have made it back to Durban . Safely negotiating all the animals , alive and dead , along the way . And have said our goodbyes to the Cape . Doing it by provinces , as we are , is making this leaving process very drawn out and agonising ! Still we are having a family lunch today , with all the Freers around the table . I am sure puns will fly , I just pity the surrounding tables ! Still it should be a fun meal . Ha ! We have survived the goats , drunks , goats , insane doof - doof taxis ( definitely local Bogan variant , with extra Eugh ! de toilette ) goats , potholes ( disguised as road ) , stray cows , dogs , drunks , trucks , Umtata ( Mbatha these days - I suspect that means ' place for inserting enema pipe ' - - Ok I really don 't like the place , with reason ) and goats ( did I mention goats perhaps ? ) of the Transkei and are now back in Durban with our boys ( which I believe is very like Brisbane . Hot . ) The goats - besides being a hazard to motorists are turning the Transkei into an eroded desert . We had magnificent braai ( Barbie ? ) next to my old fish farming buddy Nick 's dam with some of the boys Uni friends . A pork joint with threads of dried mango in foil , Beetroot and orange roasted in foil , mushrooms and butter and thyme , a loaf of bread on the fire , and kaaskartoffellen , and some fish for the vegetarians . It was good , and rather different to what the geek - team ( hey they talk physics while climbing ) expected . Well , this is so good . We are now in Grahamstown , together with our boys . They seemed happy to see us , and it is so great to be here and meet so many of their friends . We are staying out of town , so are spared all the in town noises , and are enjoying being back in rural tranquility ! We watched a climbing movie yesterday , that really had my hands and feet sweating , it is incredible that my limbs still react after 20 years of not climbing . I still belay when necessary , but have no confidence in my arm strength any more . Okay , so just what is a ' bogan ' ? Like a ' hoon ' or a muttonbird , tinny , or a slab of green , these are obviously things I need to know . And for an active imagination like mine not telling me can be dangerous ; - ) . We 're driving 10 hours to our kids Uni today . It occurred to me that it 's a good thing that we 're going from a big country to another big country . It must be so difficult to go from a small , closed in place to a big open one . We had people come out to Finnegan 's Wake , who found the darkness and silence at night intimidating - who slept with the lights on . I love the silences and the absence of artificil light makes for woderful star viewing . Ok so there are no ( well make that ' few ' ) stage shows and the choice of restaurants is a little limited in number . . . but ah , we have night . I can 't wait to see my boys . I hope they love Australia as much as we did . Australia , put out your best : - ) Back in the dark ages , just after smoking too much killed the dinosaurs and people still had fax machines , B and I moved onto Finnegan 's Wake and for the first time a serious go at self - sufficiency . We were bright - eyed and bushy tailed , but our delusions of handsome appearance and sartorial elegance aside , we were also in for a bumper year . Partly this was as a direct result of my ignorance and over - enthusiasm . To put it slightly cryptically - there are about 30 seeds in a pack of courgette seeds . I had the space and compost to plant them all . . . every plant bore at least 50 baby marrows . . . And herein lies the devilish detail - I was raised ' waste not , want not ' . Did you know that sliced paper thin courgettes ( lightly salted , left to stand for 3 minutes , then washed and dried ) dressed with olive oil and lemon juice and black pepper can be served as a great salad ? No ? Well neither did I , before . I didn 't know they were good in bread either . Or parboiled , slit from gizzard to zatch and then with a slice of cheese and a piece of rehydrated sundried tomato in the slit , and a slice of bacon on the outside as a wrap , skewered in place with a couple of toothpicks and then grilled is delicious . Yes - I believe I came up with 33 disguises for the humble courgette - none quite as effective as shoving a carrier bag of the things into a visitor 's car . Yes the courgettes nearly killed us , and years later even the sight of virulent yellow courgette piccalli makes me blench . But it was the bramble patch that finally hammmered the stake into that old waste - not maxim . It was several acres of thorns and black woody bramble - berries . Free food ! We picked with glee . Then with enthusiasm . then with grim determination , then with scratched and battered resignation and , um , whining . And even when we gave up , that was only the start . Jam making continued to the small hours , until every jar and every pound of sugar ( we had to go and buy extra - at a 50km round trip , and the cost of sugar and jars it probably would have been cheaper to buy 12 jPosted by Having failed to drown us , the South African weather says fricassee will have to do . It 's hot , sticky and unpleasant today - more like the Durban I remember and so wanted to leave . We spent last night with the clann Beck up in Pietermaritzburg , where we had lovely supper ( green thai prawn curry , very mild , but tasty and the usual appalling puns . They 're dear friends , it was their older son 's 21st , and the farewells are sad , but the security aspect of their lives is just exactly what I want to leave behind . Outside spotlights , Area alarms ( so for eg , me a 5 AM riser hd to stay carefully out of rooms xyz ) , burglar bars . . . and of course sleepy hollow 's lovely climate - In winter it 's quite pleasant but in summer they end up jumping into the pool just before bed , emerging dripping and putting towels on their beds . Um . No thanks . I see Tassie is cool today . : - ) . We spent last night with good friends from University days , whose son , Geoffrey , turned 21 yesterday . It was wonderful to celebrate with the whole extended family , and sad to think that when his younger brother reaches his ' great milestone ' we will be far away . ( though probably Steve is heaving a huge sigh of relief . ) We have started on a round of ' goodbyes ' to friends and family , and I think it was a mistake to draw it all out over 5 weeks , but seemed like a good idea at the time ! Still we will get to see a lot of people this way . ok , this suburbia inside a small secure complex , but it does show how used to wild space I have become . . . we were so exhausted the first night that I barely heard anything beyond waking briefly to yet more rain . ( It appears that the weather on our final move day killed 7 people : - ( . ) Last night , however , I did a lot of waking for trucks , cars , voices , dogs . . . oh well , the jackal yowling on the hill used to wake me . And the ' piet - my - vrou ' dawn chorus ( skiet - my - nou ! as my mum used to call them . ) and the mournful mist foghorn of the rare fluff - tailed buffs on the stream ( you 'll know why they 're rare when you hear them ! ) and the hadeda ibises - some just flew past - this is suburbia , but Africa . Still , I got used to the jackal , I 'll possibly get used to this again before we head out , and there 'll be wild sounds of Australia ( the roaring puking of the Bennet 's wallaby that ate all my veggies and that sort of romantic bush - noise ) . Budunet my radio link to civilization and the net out at Finnegan 's Wake appears to have been a casualty of the rains . As that is still my principal e - mail addy , I am not gettting much mail . Or so the headlines told us , just in case we failed to notice downed trees and mud - slick roads we slithered and bumped down with everything and not quite the kitchen sink that should have been packed and wasn 't . . . Freer chaos reigns . Oh and the wet stuff . I see they 're now forecasting the possibility of snow ( yes , I 'll post some to Adelaide if you like - it 's like dandruff but colder ) . Anyway , that terrible phase of the move is over . So far saying goodbye to our beasties was the worst part , but teary farewells from ' nThombifuthi ( we have found her a new job , with someone she likes , but still . . . ) and Mfanjane ( who has a disability pension , but used to come and earn a bit extra once a week ) , and the forlorn faces of our now ex - neighbour 's workers ( whose kids we took to school , gave lifts into town , brought 80kg sacks of maize - meal for and and occasionally provided first aid to , and greeted and chatted to ) , and " you did so much for us " - as one of the dairy guys told B yesterday . True enough I think . We tried to fit in , and make ourselves part of the community , not just a separate caste . It seemed to work ( ex - neighbour on the other hand is I gather is having ' labour ' troubles . What a surprise - there is little love lost there . Perhaps he should wise up to living in 2009 , and not 1809 - his latest petty act of improving staff morale was to lock a gate leading to their cottages - meaning everything ( eg , their 80kg of maize - meal , and a fair amount of furniture we didn 't pack ) has to be carried half a kilometer . It won 't stop the people carrying the same things in . Or improve his security an iota . But it 'll show them he 's the boss . Yes , that 'll help . Not . ) Ah well , I am glad to leave that kind of idiocy behind , because I only see one long term end for it and it will do no one any good . The packing up was something of a disaster - partly because we were less organised than we needed to be , and partly because the rain and the packers and estimators and mis - information added a whole new layer of chaos . . . like we arrived herePosted by The container - and the family rock finally loaded , and the pair of jumper leads mysteriously like ours ( but we were told , not ours , even if appearances were deceptive , were loaded by 5 . All Moving estimators - Stuttafords , Elliots , and Magna all WAY overestimated our volume , and we could have taken a bunch of stuff we left / sold / gave away , drat them . Anyway loading the rock was . . . entertaining . And so was the rain . And the rain . And did I mention . . . rain . The container truck left and we loaded up a ute - load of garbage , and set out for the dump ( as this was not thanksgivin ' ) . We got as far as Reggie - the Retired Lt Colonel about km away , and found the rock was resisting leaving Africa . . . well , the mud was . The container truck had failed singly at the art of mud - driving and was now jack - knifed at the bottom of the hill blocking our exit . So we too abandoned our quest and went to visit Reggie Purbrick , who is a good friend in need . He has that military organising streak about him ( he takes schoolkids on adventure trails to the mountains , or game reserves or the battlefields . I suppose they 're not much worse than a regiment to organise . . . we were wined , fed and provided with baths and beds and sympathy and laughter and advice . I 'm really going to miss him , which is more than I say about my other ex - neighbour , who was trying to prove he was a git to my ex - employee . Stupid . And childish and futile too . Ok so I am tired and grumpy . . . anyway , we finally left the farm in howling wind and rain and mud . . . . did i mention muddd . The little car ( my sons from granny ) made it barely . We 've left all sorts behind . . . but we have gone . And in a way being exhausted and coping with a nightmare - ish rain and wind , and the rocky slithery , muddy road stopped us saying sad farewells . On the plus side the new owners kids were having a ball and so was their calf . Well , one bed was not packed , and we also had the blow - up = we 're ok , even if the house looks rather bare and boxed . . . . Oh dearie me , dearie , dearie me , it 's about 4 degrees howling winds and . . . somehow both B and i didn 't exclude the sleeping bags . er . Ooops . and the mud is thick so going bed - hunting elsewhere is an act of un - wisdom ( so why didn 't we automatically do it then ? Um , fortunately we 'd donated a couple of old kids duvets - liberally coffee - stained - Pads was infamous for falling asleep with coffee in hand . ) to n ' Thombifuthi and she had left them in the kids playroom . So with a mattress , and old duvets and a fire were fine - and we toasted bacon on the end of a carefully washed file . I 'm just a little worried about things being nicked . we can 't watch half of what is going on . . . and a bunch of lire ( now worthless ) tucked into a little box have been trousered by someone . They 're of no value , but I wonder what else . Oh well . Onward . We have a trace of sun today - and the container arrives . My dats and cogs slept in Durban last night ( so at least my babies were warm enough ) This is just a quick trial post on the eee , as the desktop is now packed . around me the scream of taping boxes continues viciously . I 'm dead - beat . . . but still it continues . The furkids have gone . I felt . . . like a traitor . A judas - goat - I led Roly and Puggles and Wednesday into the travelling cages . Helped put my kitties in them . I wish , desperately , that I could explain . I miss them . I miss them terribly . The house is getting packed . There is still a ton to do - cleaing and prep . The movers came late , but are packing with speed . The pets - en - transit guy was later still - got stuck - twice on the road - here and back . Then he had to call about their rabies certs . . . I nearly went spare with worry that something would still be wrong . I emptied out the drawers of my desk . Threw away 74 rejection letters . . . We 're moving on . Wow , today got off to a slow start , with the movers arriving later than they said . But we ran around getting ' everything ' ready for them . Once they got here , boy , did they start packing ! ! Problem was 4 of them started in 4 different places , and I found there were all sorts of things I hadn 't sorted yet . So it was grabbing items from them as fast as I could . Still we are about a third packed . One of our cats , Legolas , has gone to his new home , with good friends of ours . James will be spending his Easter vacation with them , and will be able to see his cat then . The rest of the dogs and cats will be fetched any time now , and will go into kennels for their quarantine period , before they join us in Aus . Seems to be just around the corner now ! ! Tomorrow we pack up the computers , and then we will have Dave 's Eeee , for all our computer needs until our furniture is unpacked on Flinders , hopefully some time in Jan . ( Thank you Sarah for the Eeee . ) So if we post less often , please bare with us ! Because in theory it is Sunday . Some of the Medusa list is done . Some isn 't . I slow roasted a leg of bushpig ( the real thing , shot next door , not the Australian version - yes I DO know what that is ) in a lot of red wine , sherry , herbs and black cherry juice . I served it with an unmentionable pasta : - ) . Very appropriate . The doggins got a huge helping , and Wednesday said it was just so delish , she had her feet up on the table when I was watching ( yes , she 's a bandit . And a thief . I still love her . ) The kittties are being very clingy for independent minded beasties . I wish , desperately , that I could speak dog and cat and explain to the furkids that , far from abandoning them , we 've moved heaven and earth and a good few bits between to be able to take them to the Island . Ah well . It is . And that is the way it must be . Our hearts go with them , always . That is why we have done this . It 's turned cold , damp and miserable , and the paint I have put on things is not drying . . . Also I am about 1 / 3 through the manuscript cupboard ( tricky - do not throw out anything that may not exist on paper ( sold ) or only sold electronically . ) . I have roughly one and a half cubes of paper to go through . . . Yes , actually I do write a lot . Maybe too much . Our visitors were sweet , and rather welcome by that stage . . . Told us they were envious of our adventure . Um . Right now it feels more like a runaway trainwreck . Oh and B got stung on the cheek by a bee , as a parting gesture . Gee , thanks . I went through my clothes and did manage to throw out a few things . . . I really am fery , fery , fery ' careful ' about clothes . I hate throwing away something that has some use in it . It 's a good thing I am not the vain kind - because I don 't declare clothes ' dead ' until any self - respecting scarecrow would turn up his nose at them . B and I were sorting out wetsuits - she actually got into the custom - made one I bought her before Paddy was born - OK it took a wee bit of wiggling and some determined shoving and pulling - but my word , that 's quite something . It 'd take a shoPosted by We finally got the house - sale money and B spent forever on the Bank arranging the transfers to Pets - en - transit ( So far the best company I have ever dealt with , period ) and the SA quarantine station ( Paws resort ! - I spoke to the boss , and he sounds a good guy ) . Thanks to Save the Dragons http : / / www . savethedragons . nu / - the project Walt talked me into braving ( and it was braving - it 's not the sort of thing I do easily . My dogs and cats are my responsibility , and , um , I am the sort who takes these things seriously . Not being able to take them was absolutely tearing me apart . As is . . . it 's still really costing us more than we can afford , but we may be poorer in money , we 're richer in love and self - respect . And , come hell or high water , those that bought into Save the Dragons and gave us $ 25 or more WILL get their signed books . ) which has raised about half the money we need for this bit of insanity . But I would rather be insane , and my B goes along with it . I 'm a lucky man . Other than that the rock 3 coats of sealer , I finished repairing the door to the corner cupboard . B painted her old desk , and I scrubbed ( with sandpaper , wire brush on a drill , and cleaned and painted some tools and have made an inneffectual start on my office . You can see wood in some places on my desk . Honestly ; - ) Tomorrow is so full of list it may explode . And people who have waited 8 years to visit Finnegan 's Wake . . . are coming to visit . Hope they like chaos . Today . . . well I managed to get the the old ute started and into the workshop . It 's probably going to be sold for a pittance for scrap : - ( Oh well . It 's 14 years old and been a lot of places . We collected the carpets ( having been washed ) and tried to find a hinge for the corner cupboard . And I bleached and scrubbed and polished the family rock . Tomorrow it gets a coat of stone - seal . The rock . . . ah yes . It 's a handcut block of sandstone weighing I guess at least 400 pounds from Barbara 's Great Grandfather 's farmhouse in the Drakensberg . . . from about 1870 - ish when that was the last wild frontier still . Cut on the farm , dragged to the house by oxen on a ' sleigh ' of a big forked branch . The block was a lintel , leading into the foundations , just below the main bedroom . . . It wasn 't a posh farmhouse , just a comfortable , much loved place , that generations of the family had gone back to . For us . . . the rock is a repository of much laughter , tears , heartbreak and dreams and even more love that happened there . Of countless Christmases and births and deaths . Barbs and I went up there probably the most of anyone in the family . It was our dream to get it up and productive again . A lot of hope , and a lot of work . And then the farm was expropriated to become part of a park . They bulldozed the old house . It nearly broke our hearts . It took me years to go back . . . but 18 years later we got permission to go back and collect the rock . It took 5 of us and a wheelbarrow ( which bent ) to move it from the ravage of bramble and wattle where the house had once stood to the Ute . It was heartbreaking . . . but we endure . And so did the rock . One day Barbs and I and our sons ( I will save that bit for when they 're there . Besides it will take all of us to move it ) will build the family rock into our house , so that it can be a link between the past and future . That it can go on accumulating the secrets and laughter and the tears of more generations . Yes , I am crazy . But then , that goes with being me . Dreams and determination , that 's us . We go on . And the rockPosted by Let 's see . . . After a poor night in a much smaller bed occupied by 16 cats ( or maybe 32 ) , I started my day with a letter fro Baen with more Proof - reading ( SLOW TRAIN TO ARCTURUS , the paperback ) - in the middle of our move - I took Wednesday ( black lab ) in to get her teeth done . Then I went out to the rabbit warders , who were robbed last night , and then I went home . En route the truck ( the unsold one , that we need the money from ) died . My cell - phone is a pay - as - you - go one - and I plz call me 's set up by my cell literate clever son . . . only I adopted my sister 's old phone - with my sim and no clever set ups . . . and I was out of money in the middle of nowhere ( it could be worse in SA ) . I made various failed attempts to message and contact anyone . Anyway 3 / 4 of an hour later , just as I was setting out for the 18km walk , someone happened along and I was able to call B . Needless to say after that cars came in quick succession . B came and fetched ( and was off to drop one last load of firewood , and to send a fax authorising the lawyers to pay the movers , as surprise - surprise , the money has not yet arrived with B ) so I went along - and met the guy coming to buy my dad 's old woodworking machine off me . He was something of a mechanic so we went back to the truck and he diagnosed water in the diesel . We got it going . . . for some 7 or so Km . and it died again . He gave me a lift home . I sold him the machine , and he left - and then I hopefully sorted out the quote for moving dogs and cats - if it is all in and OKay tomorrow . . . ( which given the rate of disasters . . . If not , Pets - en - transit are my heroes ) B went and fetched Wednesday , and I got the burglar guard we need off to get my table out , unscrewed , some metalwork sorted and cleaned for packing . The post brings me a notice saying I have to get a new drivers licence - they 're moving everyone expensively ( for us ) onto a third system now , and they are doing F . . . which means my licence will expire 7 days before we leave . The mechanic called , to say he was lost , and then the woman fromPosted by Someone asked me today what I would do on the island while Dave was writing ? Would I not be bored ? I could do 6 months of boredom right now . Today Dave was stuck at the side of the road for 45 mins with a broken down vehicle and no cellphone time . Wednesday , our black labrador , had an anaesthetic to sort out her teeth . The gentleman who wants to buy the vehicle turned up to find it broken down and we refused to sell it to him , until we find out what is wrong with it , as it may be something really major . We would feel really bad to sell him a total dud . I returned the crib we have been housing for the last few years to the church it belongs to , got a deposit back on our empty gas cylinder , took our wonderful housemaid to be interviewed for her new job , delivered a load of firewood , ( thought it was the last ever load , but got an order for another load to be delivered tomorrow or over the weekend . ) All in all it was a day that seems to have been several weeks long , a bit of boredom looks really good ! Well , it is amazing how much can be done in one day . We now have a house that echoes with emptiness . The carpets are gone , to be cleaned before packing , a lot of our sittingroom furniture has gone and our bed has been sold ! We are now sleeping on a much smaller , but more comfortable bed that we are taking with us . Unfortunately all the cats decided they had been badly treated and needed to sleep with us ! I am sure we will get used to it . It 's been another tough day . Before you think this blog too bleak and whingy to bother with , fill your mind with the mental image of Barbs and I trying to insert 4 cats into two containers . Yes we have the blood and wounds to prove it . I know you 're all frightfully clever and have already worked out that this is a ridiculously , insanely stupid thing to try and do , because both cats need to go in at the same time , and 2 pairs of hands need to come out , sans the cat / s . It took us about 3 tries for each catbox . . . and of course two ' phone calls mid frantic cat persuit and insertions . . . " Oh Dave , I didn 't want to call when I heard you were leaving . . . " Dave - holding cat with buzz - saw legs . " Jenn , I am wrestling with a very angry cat . . . can I call you ( MEEOWWWWW HISSS YOWL ) . " " But I just have to chat to you . . . " Anyway mission accomplished , 4 cats injected , 3 microchipped ( at James 's request his cat is staying here with his best friends who he will spend his short holidays with . Hard . . . But Legsie may be better off , and will be spoiled , I think ) Three dogs microchipped injected and inspected . And sadly we have had to send my little Button to the long sleep . She was very very old , blind ( needed a seeing eye human ) deaf , senile ( she used to know her way everywhere ) and the last few nights has been struggling for breath . We always said that when she was in distress , we would call it time . Two years ago , she was supposedly on death 's door . It was still very hard . I held her in my arms , B stroked her and the vet helped her to the rainbow bridge . Sigh . Salute to a loyal little brave heart . Why do we give our hearts to our dogs to tear ? Tomorrow hopefully we will finalise the details of the dogs and cat 's quarantine . Roland despite his age passed his medical exam . Despite the Savethedragons . nu project ( without which it would simply not have been possible ) we will be hit financially terribly hard by this ( sadly this particular author fits the starving in a garret and not much financial acumen mold ) . Still , more money we can maybe make Posted by We had the French cousins ( the ones whose sons christened me ' Robinson ' after I introduced them to our idea of fun - catching and collecting food , and cooking it over an open fire at the beach . ) I did mussels in an annisette scented tomato base , with black squid ink spagetti and green olives , a lemon and orange and lemoncillo sorbet , and then venison with sauce of bacon , ceps and artichoke heart , with jerepigo and cream , with home - made pears in spiced red wine . I cooked for South Africa , and they ate for France . Soon I will have to cook for Australia . Today was our writers group meeting - or rather a drinking society with a writing problem , which has finished late and maudlin . It was rather nice to have people tell us they appreciated us , but they 'll manage fine without us , I reckon . The level of talent - and the variety , is amazing . The dead fat lady story was a candidate for being banned by the Geneva convention as a weapon of mass - construction . It 's been a lot of fun to watch it grow . I 've been very reluctant to post about our dogs and cats despite the fact that they 're our stay - at - home stand - in kids providing much of the amusement of country life , to say nothing of affection ( and mud . And shed fur ) Moving them is difficult and very expensive because of the quarantine issue . They 're not easy to re - home being country animals used to having 3 - 4 acres of garden , and of course humans on tap 24 / 7 . I 've always got at least one with me . . . but the costs are extortionate , and authors are classic starving artists : - ( . It was tearing me apart . But we just couldn 't do it . ( there is a breakdown of the costs on Save The Dragons in the FAQ ) . Anyway thanks to Walt and Francis we managed to make some kind of plan - to sell one of my books on the net to try and bridge PART the gap . ( it 's a huge gap ) and thus http : / / www . savethedragons . nu / was born . And of of course more ulcer - material because there is nothing like hope to make you afraid . I love them - especially my big Old English Sheepdog , very much ( actually , all of them . But he was born on my lap ) . Anyway - we 're about 3 / 4 of the way there - enough to trust that we 'll scrape in the rest , somehow . It 's making us a lot poorer ( lets ' put it this way , we could fly our family over and back 5 times for the cost of moving them ) But has meant leaving everything very late and worrying a lot . It 's going to be hard sending them into quarantine and you can 't explain . Sad too , as Buttons ( my 18 year old somewhat senile maltese ) can 't go . She 's been on death 's door , but not in distress for some time . Last night however she was struggling to breathe . It has always been our decision that if she was in distress , we 'd call time . I think it is very close now . Legsie ( my son 's cat ) will stay with his friends with whom he will spend holidays , so another farewell . Still , they give us their loyalty and love : what would we be worth is we did not try to do as much ? Posted by B and I have bounced around SA - University , various jobs , and then picking a place close to the kids school ( Treverton ) . And the one thing I can say is although you may bind to a place , and love the mountains or the trees or the ocean . . . there remains the fact that we are social animals , even solitary blokes like me . I 've lived in cities with populations of several million - had friends and enjoyed some of what the city offered . But we 've usually been at our happiest in smaller places , where individuals matter . Yes , if you have a secret hamster fetish and it 's an intolerant and narrowly conservative community , or you have three bits on the side or don 't pay your bills . . . A small community can be hell . But if you 're a dull bloke without any major deadly secrets and you didn 't really care if quizzy old auntie Clara and the switchboard operator ( ah days gone by ) were listening to you chatting to your wife , a small community - if it 's the right one - can be a very supportive place to live , and manage to offer a social life that the big city just can 't . Of course . . . if you 're bright or interested in a specialised field ( physics or writing or making model airplanes ) a city is more likely to get you face - time with similar people . But the internet makes a lot of difference there . So the issue then becomes ' the right community ' . And that is actually harder and more difficult and varied than you may realise from a city - dweller 's perspective ( and that 's where I came from ) . There is a lot to it which is less than obvious , and it 's hard to predict without being in it . My brother and I ended up in two small towns which are 30 km apart in Southern Zululand . My brother is more gregarious and easier to get on with than I am . Our town was maybe 40 % larger . His was ruled a social heirarchy and a few queen bees who were not too keen on newcomers . Status and money were hugely imortant , and status was determined by TPB ( the powers that be ) . As the town engineer , you 'd have thought he 'd be quite well thought of in a heirarchy . . . but no . Posted by Humans are tool - users by nature . And besides junk we collect , we male ones like to play with these toys ( no , it 's not an exclusively male passtime , and there are plenty of women with their own collections . Some , like my mum , value stone grinders and fret - saws and little hammers , and mysterious and arcane gardening implements , others tend toward masses of quilting stuff or cooking devices - although I 'll give them a good run for their money there . ) But my tools - mostly relating to gardening , woodworking , and the craft of surviving are in general not an impressive , shiny lot . Nor are they the smartest and best makes . . . Mostly they 're old , solid , and very well ( if somewhat ineptly ) used . Some of them belonged to my great great - and they still work . There are darn few tools I 've gone out and bought because I wanted a new toy , so almost everything has a history . Fencing pliers , pipe wrenches , key - hole saws . Many are unusal things that you can 't easily find ( a brass foot - pump ) , various files in odd sizes and shapes . . . that sort of thing . The sort of thing we are not allowed to take to Oz . So today we had our friends the rabbit - janitors come over and load them up . Weldmesh , barbed wire , tree - nets . A legacy of bolts , nuts , nails , screws and rivets . Bergen was nearly squeaking with girlish glee ( and you 'd have to see him to even begin to grasp how funny this was . ) Sigh . To sell - except to another nutter like us - and they have no money by definition . . . not much . To replace . . . a lot , and lot again , as they don 't MAKE wrenches the way they did 50 years back . And grumble all the sort of things I will need to build with . Ah well . C ' est la vie . They brought us a rabbit and a roasted chicken - one of their own chooks - and we had home - made kir ( with blackberry juice and champagne ) and herb and tomato bread . I think that 's my own invention , with tomato juice for the liquid , and a orange , lemon and vodka sorbet for dessert . And so we move on . I 'm going to go and look at Google Earth to remember why I am doing this . And maybe the Posted by Life at the moment is a series of highs and lows , with moods that do not always match ! ! We have found work for the wonderful lady , Ntombifuthi , who has been working in our house for the last 8 years . We have sold our Colt bakkie , ( ute ) , but can continue to use it until we leave the house , but not the country . We cannot book our ferry ride across to Flinders yet , and we keep having thunderstorms that stop all computer use , if they not turn off the electricity completely . We thought we had wonderful homes for 2 of our cats , and we would just go with the other two . But one has fallen through , which I quite understand , but now we need even more money . But on the other hand we do not need to say ' goodbye ' to one of the cats ! Dave has another dentist appointment , and we are taking another load of furniture to auction . another load of memories goes , but I hope their new owners enjoy them . No news from pet people . Ulcer making . Other than that - taking all fur and feathers out of my fly - tying stuff ( the remainder - some synthetics , cotton , chain - eyes and wire and odd size 24 hooks is pitiful ) . I 'm down from 4 large boxes to one small one . 20 years of gradual build up gone . Oh well . My vices happen to be the kind you tie flies on . Well , some of my vices . I have metalwork and woodwork ones too : - ( . I 'll have to take up debauchery instead as that is something customs don 't seem to check on . We had a couple of guys out to read the meter , and they showed interest in the Utes . We shall see . I am reading a lot at the moment . Lots of pleasant escapist books . Tonight I picked up a book I have not read for many years , and just remembered it as being set further north than her first book which I have read often . Halfway down page one : - I cannot say that everyone should live as we do , but you might be happy on an island if you can face up to the following : 1 . Dinner guests are often still with you seven day , weeks , months later . . . 2 . Any definite appointment . . . acts as an automatic signal for the ferry - boats to stop running . . . 7 . Anyone contemplating island dwelling must be physically strong and it is an added advantage if you aren 't too bright . I wonder if my mind remembered it , and caused me to reread it , as a warning to put my brain on hold for the next few years ! Still Betty MacDonald is fun to read anyway , so I will now finish the book to see if she has any other good advice for me . The snow had damaged these branches so that they hung low over the road . Too low for the container . This is me ( up the tree ) and our helper Mfanjane . It involved some interesting angles , but did give me something to think about besides the cost of moving our furkids . Our quotes had of course expired . . . Now we wait - one is in a little bit more expensive . They were more expensive first time . http : / / www . savethedragons . nu / - the site some fans helped to set up to sell one of my books to earn extra for this horrendously expensive excercise has helped , but we 're taking major strain on this . I 'm finding it very hard to talk about or deal with , as I 'm a hopeless soppy about my rescue moggies and silly dogs . The proofs of Sorceress of Karres are now in . For years we had epics with couriers delivering proofs to me , and failing to find this place and leaving them at some bizarre spots ( the hotel bottle shop , chicken farm , post office . . . ) It 's a pity that Baen have taken to sending them as . pdf files . . . it saves them money and trouble but costs me a great deal of both , as I now have to print them on my dodgy old printer - - and I am inevitably out of paper or ink or both , and this situation is tricky now , but it 'll be a lot trickier on the island . Besides , there would have been some small schadenfreude in having the courier fly in and try to hire a car to find me - or bliss , have to walk ( or hee hee take the ferry ) and try to leave without delivering to me . Yes , I know . Not the same couriers as messed me about here , and in actual reality I would have done my best to help - probably collected it from the plane and let the airline sign for it Launceston . But allow me the happy little nasty vision of a lost fedex courier truck blundering about the island . ; - ) - with a week to spend before the ferry goes back . Anyway besides poor B nearly poking her eye out , and being scratched to pieces in the acacia that she wanted to do ( um . She IS rather stubborn about these things . When you 've been together for as long as we have . . . if she wPosted by Having finished the proof of Dave 's next book , it was back to the trees , to cut enough for the movers . Dave did the really , really high plane tree , so I thought I had better do the next one . A really thorny Acatia type thing . I was scratched and poked all over , but at least the drive is now container friendly ! Then in stepping over a cut branch , I managed to get a thin twig in my eye , That put a halt to my gallop and I retired to put ice on it , while Dave finished clearing away the rest of the cut branches . Apart from an occasional throb it is fine now , but I really feel I am not really pulling my weight in this moving business . Today has mostly been taken up with proof reading Sorceress of Karres and asking pet movers for updated quotes . Very depressing . And the new owners of Finnegan 's Wake came out . I walked them around the fruit trees . The Olive is a mass of blossom . And to follow through with the song - if I could station the convenience above the Mooi River municipality and shower them with my ' appreciation ' . . . I would . You remember that rates certificate that had to in with the deeds office by Friday that they promised - after we 'd overpaid them that they would post ? well guess what . . . They refuse point blank to give to us to let us deliver it by hand last week . They had to deal with an incandescent Barbs today . She got it and delivered it . But of course . . . the whole thing is now late , rot them . So we don 't know if we 'll be paid in time . Ah well . It 's character building . I reckon if you join B and I 's character 's together by now . . . we could build a bridge and walk to Australia on it . The cut down trees part - we 've been cutting a 4 . 5 metre arch to get the container in . Trust me , in 3 years you won 't know it happened - we had to do the same when we moved here - the tree is about 35 metres high and as wide . Oh and Elliots ( movers ) seem to have lost the plot . Pop - top - what pop - top ? ( see another 3 feet on character suddenly go up with pilasters and small decorative arches . They promised to get back to me . Maybe they tried . I was up a tree . So today has not been spent writing but cutting large branches . I really must start wearing gloves for this sort of thing as I have a battered thumb . Thing is rock - climber was up the tree sawing . And gloves are not safe to climb in . On the plus side being 6 metres up on a whippy branch doesn 't worry me as long as it is not with a chain - saw ( tied on see , and out of fall on and / or whip zone - but falling off with a chainsaw could be deadly . ) So the high stuff was done with a bow - saw . This is not that bad as none of the branches were more than 8 inches thick - but I 'm going to be an imitation English gentleman all over and not just my upper lip tomorrow . Hot bath time . The worst were the cypress - B wanted to do a branch and had to cut right through . I ened up doing another 4 while she went to tear strips off Mooi Muni . I had to do the same - and fPosted by We have just come in for lunch . While I was in town today , Dave cut a huge number of big branches off the pin oak tree , so that our container can get in here to be loaded . Luckily there is still a canopy of tree over the driveway , it is just a lot higher , as we were told the truck will be 4 . 5m high ! So I thought I had better pitch in and do my share . So I climbed the 4m ladder that had only been constructed this morning , out of newly cut green branches . ( Any idea how springy they are ? ) Then another meter or so up the tree , I proceeded to cut one of the offending branches . Wow , that is higher off the ground than I have been for years , and Dave thought the bow saw safer than the chainsaw , so I burned off a lot more calories than I had planned on . Still one more branch hit the dust , and then we stopped for lunch . Just 3 more branches to come down , and then clearing up all the chaos on the ground ! I just hope we have no visitors for a day or so , they may battle to drive around . So following a tip off ( thanks ! ) after my comments about veg - seed in Tas I went to this blog . . . http : / / nonsuchkitchengardens . com / wordpress / ( which is very worth reading especially if you 're into plants or kitchens ) and followed the link to http : / / www . thelostseed . com . au / index . htmSigh . I could order the entire catalogue : - ) They have Scorzonera ( I have wanted forever ) . Radicchio ! Collards ( never tasted - I was only just talking to o ' mike about them theis morning ) Melons I have never even heard of ( and melon with my salami or proscuitto is just magnificent ) . New Zealand Yams , Purple Dragon carrots , and white Belgian carrots . . . The only thing that dread is just how much money I could spend on this catalogue , without even trying . Sigh - here I could buy roma , I think 3 - 4 varieties of red salad tomato ( determinate and indeterminate ) , coctail red ( jam ) a coctail yellow pear . And that 's IT . Forget black or large yellow or . . . I counted 101 varieties ! help Advice ? ; - ) The only disappointment was the luffa . . . ( I assumed it was a logga , and stirred its coffee with its thumb ) tch . Loofa ! Luffa humph . and everyone knows they are mined from loofite in the midwest . Almond x2 , Apple x 4 ( 2 bearing ) , apricot x2 , cherry x2 , fig x 3 , hazel x 2 , kiwi x2 ( large vines + male ) , grape ( not very tasty katawba ) , lemon x 2 , Mulberry , Olive x 2 , nectarine , pear x 5 , white peach , cling peach x 4 , plum x 2 ( red heart and yellow ) , Pecan x 2 , raspberries ( lots ) , Walnut x 2 , quince . That 's what I have established here - a list to remind me . Sometimes we 're awash with fruit . The apples can give us half a ton of fruit , and plums and Kiwis fifty kilos . Of course there is constant war with fruitfly , leaf - miners , monkeys , and various birds - who can leave us with nothing . I 've always felt the key to small - scale agriculture was diversification . Grin . How perfectly this suits my jack of all trade nature . I 'm never going to get any of the nuts that I planted , but someone will ( maybe my wild cousins the monkeys ) . But it 's a poorer world if we only plant what we will harvest . I know there are various biocontrol hurdles , but I am looking forward to seeing what will grow . ( and doubtless many happy hours of swearing at wallaby , possums , and various birds . ) And I will miss bananas - but by the time they get in by plane or ferry , I reckon gold will be cheaper . Anything I should consider growing ? Flinders is a wild and beautiful place . This is quite a terrifying , exciting adventure for us . As a kid my daydream was to live on an island - rather like Swallows and Amazons . I suspect reality will be a little different ! It 's going to mean learning a lot , probably the hard way , in a new country in a small isolated community , with a long ferry ride or an expensive small plane trip to get to the sort of things most people consider as merely available . We 're going to have to learn to be pretty much self - sufficient , to grow or hunt or harvest our own food , as anything that has to get transported in will be pricy . And there is no nipping out the shops . We 'll have to learn to fit in . Learn how to cook wallaby , and probably all manner of other things . Learn how to deal with the weather and the wildlife . Doubtless there 'll be a lot of disasters . It should make for entertaining reading ( maybe more than doing ) .
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We had the the infamous family gathering at Caversham Mill ( a restaurant - not Dave getting the family together for grinding ) . The puns flew the chocolate block ( very special red wine ) circulated as did most of the food - we all always order different meals as we all like to taste things . It brought back the most obvious thing that makes emigrating hard - moving from the security of that network of family and friends . The farewells along the road make things harder . I am sure we 'll make a new network - started already - but it is hard on those who stay too . I must say I find the ' we 'll never see you again ' very harsh . I keep pointing out that the world is a smaller place , and the future an uncertain country itself We have made it back to Durban . Safely negotiating all the animals , alive and dead , along the way . And have said our goodbyes to the Cape . Doing it by provinces , as we are , is making this leaving process very drawn out and agonising ! Still we are having a family lunch today , with all the Freers around the table . I am sure puns will fly , I just pity the surrounding tables ! Still it should be a fun meal . Ha ! We have survived the goats , drunks , goats , insane doof - doof taxis ( definitely local Bogan variant , with extra Eugh ! de toilette ) goats , potholes ( disguised as road ) , stray cows , dogs , drunks , trucks , Umtata ( Mbatha these days - I suspect that means ' place for inserting enema pipe ' - - Ok I really don 't like the place , with reason ) and goats ( did I mention goats perhaps ? ) of the Transkei and are now back in Durban with our boys ( which I believe is very like Brisbane . Hot . ) The goats - besides being a hazard to motorists are turning the Transkei into an eroded desert . We had magnificent braai ( Barbie ? ) next to my old fish farming buddy Nick 's dam with some of the boys Uni friends . A pork joint with threads of dried mango in foil , Beetroot and orange roasted in foil , mushrooms and butter and thyme , a loaf of bread on the fire , and kaaskartoffellen , and some fish for the vegetarians . It was good , and rather different to what the geek - team ( hey they talk physics while climbing ) expected . Well , this is so good . We are now in Grahamstown , together with our boys . They seemed happy to see us , and it is so great to be here and meet so many of their friends . We are staying out of town , so are spared all the in town noises , and are enjoying being back in rural tranquility ! We watched a climbing movie yesterday , that really had my hands and feet sweating , it is incredible that my limbs still react after 20 years of not climbing . I still belay when necessary , but have no confidence in my arm strength any more . Okay , so just what is a ' bogan ' ? Like a ' hoon ' or a muttonbird , tinny , or a slab of green , these are obviously things I need to know . And for an active imagination like mine not telling me can be dangerous ; - ) . We 're driving 10 hours to our kids Uni today . It occurred to me that it 's a good thing that we 're going from a big country to another big country . It must be so difficult to go from a small , closed in place to a big open one . We had people come out to Finnegan 's Wake , who found the darkness and silence at night intimidating - who slept with the lights on . I love the silences and the absence of artificil light makes for woderful star viewing . Ok so there are no ( well make that ' few ' ) stage shows and the choice of restaurants is a little limited in number . . . but ah , we have night . I can 't wait to see my boys . I hope they love Australia as much as we did . Australia , put out your best : - ) Back in the dark ages , just after smoking too much killed the dinosaurs and people still had fax machines , B and I moved onto Finnegan 's Wake and for the first time a serious go at self - sufficiency . We were bright - eyed and bushy tailed , but our delusions of handsome appearance and sartorial elegance aside , we were also in for a bumper year . Partly this was as a direct result of my ignorance and over - enthusiasm . To put it slightly cryptically - there are about 30 seeds in a pack of courgette seeds . I had the space and compost to plant them all . . . every plant bore at least 50 baby marrows . . . And herein lies the devilish detail - I was raised ' waste not , want not ' . Did you know that sliced paper thin courgettes ( lightly salted , left to stand for 3 minutes , then washed and dried ) dressed with olive oil and lemon juice and black pepper can be served as a great salad ? No ? Well neither did I , before . I didn 't know they were good in bread either . Or parboiled , slit from gizzard to zatch and then with a slice of cheese and a piece of rehydrated sundried tomato in the slit , and a slice of bacon on the outside as a wrap , skewered in place with a couple of toothpicks and then grilled is delicious . Yes - I believe I came up with 33 disguises for the humble courgette - none quite as effective as shoving a carrier bag of the things into a visitor 's car . Yes the courgettes nearly killed us , and years later even the sight of virulent yellow courgette piccalli makes me blench . But it was the bramble patch that finally hammmered the stake into that old waste - not maxim . It was several acres of thorns and black woody bramble - berries . Free food ! We picked with glee . Then with enthusiasm . then with grim determination , then with scratched and battered resignation and , um , whining . And even when we gave up , that was only the start . Jam making continued to the small hours , until every jar and every pound of sugar ( we had to go and buy extra - at a 50km round trip , and the cost of sugar and jars it probably would have been cheaper to buy 12 jPosted by Having failed to drown us , the South African weather says fricassee will have to do . It 's hot , sticky and unpleasant today - more like the Durban I remember and so wanted to leave . We spent last night with the clann Beck up in Pietermaritzburg , where we had lovely supper ( green thai prawn curry , very mild , but tasty and the usual appalling puns . They 're dear friends , it was their older son 's 21st , and the farewells are sad , but the security aspect of their lives is just exactly what I want to leave behind . Outside spotlights , Area alarms ( so for eg , me a 5 AM riser hd to stay carefully out of rooms xyz ) , burglar bars . . . and of course sleepy hollow 's lovely climate - In winter it 's quite pleasant but in summer they end up jumping into the pool just before bed , emerging dripping and putting towels on their beds . Um . No thanks . I see Tassie is cool today . : - ) . We spent last night with good friends from University days , whose son , Geoffrey , turned 21 yesterday . It was wonderful to celebrate with the whole extended family , and sad to think that when his younger brother reaches his ' great milestone ' we will be far away . ( though probably Steve is heaving a huge sigh of relief . ) We have started on a round of ' goodbyes ' to friends and family , and I think it was a mistake to draw it all out over 5 weeks , but seemed like a good idea at the time ! Still we will get to see a lot of people this way . ok , this suburbia inside a small secure complex , but it does show how used to wild space I have become . . . we were so exhausted the first night that I barely heard anything beyond waking briefly to yet more rain . ( It appears that the weather on our final move day killed 7 people : - ( . ) Last night , however , I did a lot of waking for trucks , cars , voices , dogs . . . oh well , the jackal yowling on the hill used to wake me . And the ' piet - my - vrou ' dawn chorus ( skiet - my - nou ! as my mum used to call them . ) and the mournful mist foghorn of the rare fluff - tailed buffs on the stream ( you 'll know why they 're rare when you hear them ! ) and the hadeda ibises - some just flew past - this is suburbia , but Africa . Still , I got used to the jackal , I 'll possibly get used to this again before we head out , and there 'll be wild sounds of Australia ( the roaring puking of the Bennet 's wallaby that ate all my veggies and that sort of romantic bush - noise ) . Budunet my radio link to civilization and the net out at Finnegan 's Wake appears to have been a casualty of the rains . As that is still my principal e - mail addy , I am not gettting much mail . Or so the headlines told us , just in case we failed to notice downed trees and mud - slick roads we slithered and bumped down with everything and not quite the kitchen sink that should have been packed and wasn 't . . . Freer chaos reigns . Oh and the wet stuff . I see they 're now forecasting the possibility of snow ( yes , I 'll post some to Adelaide if you like - it 's like dandruff but colder ) . Anyway , that terrible phase of the move is over . So far saying goodbye to our beasties was the worst part , but teary farewells from ' nThombifuthi ( we have found her a new job , with someone she likes , but still . . . ) and Mfanjane ( who has a disability pension , but used to come and earn a bit extra once a week ) , and the forlorn faces of our now ex - neighbour 's workers ( whose kids we took to school , gave lifts into town , brought 80kg sacks of maize - meal for and and occasionally provided first aid to , and greeted and chatted to ) , and " you did so much for us " - as one of the dairy guys told B yesterday . True enough I think . We tried to fit in , and make ourselves part of the community , not just a separate caste . It seemed to work ( ex - neighbour on the other hand is I gather is having ' labour ' troubles . What a surprise - there is little love lost there . Perhaps he should wise up to living in 2009 , and not 1809 - his latest petty act of improving staff morale was to lock a gate leading to their cottages - meaning everything ( eg , their 80kg of maize - meal , and a fair amount of furniture we didn 't pack ) has to be carried half a kilometer . It won 't stop the people carrying the same things in . Or improve his security an iota . But it 'll show them he 's the boss . Yes , that 'll help . Not . ) Ah well , I am glad to leave that kind of idiocy behind , because I only see one long term end for it and it will do no one any good . The packing up was something of a disaster - partly because we were less organised than we needed to be , and partly because the rain and the packers and estimators and mis - information added a whole new layer of chaos . . . like we arrived herePosted by The container - and the family rock finally loaded , and the pair of jumper leads mysteriously like ours ( but we were told , not ours , even if appearances were deceptive , were loaded by 5 . All Moving estimators - Stuttafords , Elliots , and Magna all WAY overestimated our volume , and we could have taken a bunch of stuff we left / sold / gave away , drat them . Anyway loading the rock was . . . entertaining . And so was the rain . And the rain . And did I mention . . . rain . The container truck left and we loaded up a ute - load of garbage , and set out for the dump ( as this was not thanksgivin ' ) . We got as far as Reggie - the Retired Lt Colonel about km away , and found the rock was resisting leaving Africa . . . well , the mud was . The container truck had failed singly at the art of mud - driving and was now jack - knifed at the bottom of the hill blocking our exit . So we too abandoned our quest and went to visit Reggie Purbrick , who is a good friend in need . He has that military organising streak about him ( he takes schoolkids on adventure trails to the mountains , or game reserves or the battlefields . I suppose they 're not much worse than a regiment to organise . . . we were wined , fed and provided with baths and beds and sympathy and laughter and advice . I 'm really going to miss him , which is more than I say about my other ex - neighbour , who was trying to prove he was a git to my ex - employee . Stupid . And childish and futile too . Ok so I am tired and grumpy . . . anyway , we finally left the farm in howling wind and rain and mud . . . . did i mention muddd . The little car ( my sons from granny ) made it barely . We 've left all sorts behind . . . but we have gone . And in a way being exhausted and coping with a nightmare - ish rain and wind , and the rocky slithery , muddy road stopped us saying sad farewells . On the plus side the new owners kids were having a ball and so was their calf . Well , one bed was not packed , and we also had the blow - up = we 're ok , even if the house looks rather bare and boxed . . . . Oh dearie me , dearie , dearie me , it 's about 4 degrees howling winds and . . . somehow both B and i didn 't exclude the sleeping bags . er . Ooops . and the mud is thick so going bed - hunting elsewhere is an act of un - wisdom ( so why didn 't we automatically do it then ? Um , fortunately we 'd donated a couple of old kids duvets - liberally coffee - stained - Pads was infamous for falling asleep with coffee in hand . ) to n ' Thombifuthi and she had left them in the kids playroom . So with a mattress , and old duvets and a fire were fine - and we toasted bacon on the end of a carefully washed file . I 'm just a little worried about things being nicked . we can 't watch half of what is going on . . . and a bunch of lire ( now worthless ) tucked into a little box have been trousered by someone . They 're of no value , but I wonder what else . Oh well . Onward . We have a trace of sun today - and the container arrives . My dats and cogs slept in Durban last night ( so at least my babies were warm enough ) This is just a quick trial post on the eee , as the desktop is now packed . around me the scream of taping boxes continues viciously . I 'm dead - beat . . . but still it continues . The furkids have gone . I felt . . . like a traitor . A judas - goat - I led Roly and Puggles and Wednesday into the travelling cages . Helped put my kitties in them . I wish , desperately , that I could explain . I miss them . I miss them terribly . The house is getting packed . There is still a ton to do - cleaing and prep . The movers came late , but are packing with speed . The pets - en - transit guy was later still - got stuck - twice on the road - here and back . Then he had to call about their rabies certs . . . I nearly went spare with worry that something would still be wrong . I emptied out the drawers of my desk . Threw away 74 rejection letters . . . We 're moving on . Wow , today got off to a slow start , with the movers arriving later than they said . But we ran around getting ' everything ' ready for them . Once they got here , boy , did they start packing ! ! Problem was 4 of them started in 4 different places , and I found there were all sorts of things I hadn 't sorted yet . So it was grabbing items from them as fast as I could . Still we are about a third packed . One of our cats , Legolas , has gone to his new home , with good friends of ours . James will be spending his Easter vacation with them , and will be able to see his cat then . The rest of the dogs and cats will be fetched any time now , and will go into kennels for their quarantine period , before they join us in Aus . Seems to be just around the corner now ! ! Tomorrow we pack up the computers , and then we will have Dave 's Eeee , for all our computer needs until our furniture is unpacked on Flinders , hopefully some time in Jan . ( Thank you Sarah for the Eeee . ) So if we post less often , please bare with us ! Because in theory it is Sunday . Some of the Medusa list is done . Some isn 't . I slow roasted a leg of bushpig ( the real thing , shot next door , not the Australian version - yes I DO know what that is ) in a lot of red wine , sherry , herbs and black cherry juice . I served it with an unmentionable pasta : - ) . Very appropriate . The doggins got a huge helping , and Wednesday said it was just so delish , she had her feet up on the table when I was watching ( yes , she 's a bandit . And a thief . I still love her . ) The kittties are being very clingy for independent minded beasties . I wish , desperately , that I could speak dog and cat and explain to the furkids that , far from abandoning them , we 've moved heaven and earth and a good few bits between to be able to take them to the Island . Ah well . It is . And that is the way it must be . Our hearts go with them , always . That is why we have done this . It 's turned cold , damp and miserable , and the paint I have put on things is not drying . . . Also I am about 1 / 3 through the manuscript cupboard ( tricky - do not throw out anything that may not exist on paper ( sold ) or only sold electronically . ) . I have roughly one and a half cubes of paper to go through . . . Yes , actually I do write a lot . Maybe too much . Our visitors were sweet , and rather welcome by that stage . . . Told us they were envious of our adventure . Um . Right now it feels more like a runaway trainwreck . Oh and B got stung on the cheek by a bee , as a parting gesture . Gee , thanks . I went through my clothes and did manage to throw out a few things . . . I really am fery , fery , fery ' careful ' about clothes . I hate throwing away something that has some use in it . It 's a good thing I am not the vain kind - because I don 't declare clothes ' dead ' until any self - respecting scarecrow would turn up his nose at them . B and I were sorting out wetsuits - she actually got into the custom - made one I bought her before Paddy was born - OK it took a wee bit of wiggling and some determined shoving and pulling - but my word , that 's quite something . It 'd take a shoPosted by We finally got the house - sale money and B spent forever on the Bank arranging the transfers to Pets - en - transit ( So far the best company I have ever dealt with , period ) and the SA quarantine station ( Paws resort ! - I spoke to the boss , and he sounds a good guy ) . Thanks to Save the Dragons http : / / www . savethedragons . nu / - the project Walt talked me into braving ( and it was braving - it 's not the sort of thing I do easily . My dogs and cats are my responsibility , and , um , I am the sort who takes these things seriously . Not being able to take them was absolutely tearing me apart . As is . . . it 's still really costing us more than we can afford , but we may be poorer in money , we 're richer in love and self - respect . And , come hell or high water , those that bought into Save the Dragons and gave us $ 25 or more WILL get their signed books . ) which has raised about half the money we need for this bit of insanity . But I would rather be insane , and my B goes along with it . I 'm a lucky man . Other than that the rock 3 coats of sealer , I finished repairing the door to the corner cupboard . B painted her old desk , and I scrubbed ( with sandpaper , wire brush on a drill , and cleaned and painted some tools and have made an inneffectual start on my office . You can see wood in some places on my desk . Honestly ; - ) Tomorrow is so full of list it may explode . And people who have waited 8 years to visit Finnegan 's Wake . . . are coming to visit . Hope they like chaos . Today . . . well I managed to get the the old ute started and into the workshop . It 's probably going to be sold for a pittance for scrap : - ( Oh well . It 's 14 years old and been a lot of places . We collected the carpets ( having been washed ) and tried to find a hinge for the corner cupboard . And I bleached and scrubbed and polished the family rock . Tomorrow it gets a coat of stone - seal . The rock . . . ah yes . It 's a handcut block of sandstone weighing I guess at least 400 pounds from Barbara 's Great Grandfather 's farmhouse in the Drakensberg . . . from about 1870 - ish when that was the last wild frontier still . Cut on the farm , dragged to the house by oxen on a ' sleigh ' of a big forked branch . The block was a lintel , leading into the foundations , just below the main bedroom . . . It wasn 't a posh farmhouse , just a comfortable , much loved place , that generations of the family had gone back to . For us . . . the rock is a repository of much laughter , tears , heartbreak and dreams and even more love that happened there . Of countless Christmases and births and deaths . Barbs and I went up there probably the most of anyone in the family . It was our dream to get it up and productive again . A lot of hope , and a lot of work . And then the farm was expropriated to become part of a park . They bulldozed the old house . It nearly broke our hearts . It took me years to go back . . . but 18 years later we got permission to go back and collect the rock . It took 5 of us and a wheelbarrow ( which bent ) to move it from the ravage of bramble and wattle where the house had once stood to the Ute . It was heartbreaking . . . but we endure . And so did the rock . One day Barbs and I and our sons ( I will save that bit for when they 're there . Besides it will take all of us to move it ) will build the family rock into our house , so that it can be a link between the past and future . That it can go on accumulating the secrets and laughter and the tears of more generations . Yes , I am crazy . But then , that goes with being me . Dreams and determination , that 's us . We go on . And the rockPosted by Let 's see . . . After a poor night in a much smaller bed occupied by 16 cats ( or maybe 32 ) , I started my day with a letter fro Baen with more Proof - reading ( SLOW TRAIN TO ARCTURUS , the paperback ) - in the middle of our move - I took Wednesday ( black lab ) in to get her teeth done . Then I went out to the rabbit warders , who were robbed last night , and then I went home . En route the truck ( the unsold one , that we need the money from ) died . My cell - phone is a pay - as - you - go one - and I plz call me 's set up by my cell literate clever son . . . only I adopted my sister 's old phone - with my sim and no clever set ups . . . and I was out of money in the middle of nowhere ( it could be worse in SA ) . I made various failed attempts to message and contact anyone . Anyway 3 / 4 of an hour later , just as I was setting out for the 18km walk , someone happened along and I was able to call B . Needless to say after that cars came in quick succession . B came and fetched ( and was off to drop one last load of firewood , and to send a fax authorising the lawyers to pay the movers , as surprise - surprise , the money has not yet arrived with B ) so I went along - and met the guy coming to buy my dad 's old woodworking machine off me . He was something of a mechanic so we went back to the truck and he diagnosed water in the diesel . We got it going . . . for some 7 or so Km . and it died again . He gave me a lift home . I sold him the machine , and he left - and then I hopefully sorted out the quote for moving dogs and cats - if it is all in and OKay tomorrow . . . ( which given the rate of disasters . . . If not , Pets - en - transit are my heroes ) B went and fetched Wednesday , and I got the burglar guard we need off to get my table out , unscrewed , some metalwork sorted and cleaned for packing . The post brings me a notice saying I have to get a new drivers licence - they 're moving everyone expensively ( for us ) onto a third system now , and they are doing F . . . which means my licence will expire 7 days before we leave . The mechanic called , to say he was lost , and then the woman fromPosted by Someone asked me today what I would do on the island while Dave was writing ? Would I not be bored ? I could do 6 months of boredom right now . Today Dave was stuck at the side of the road for 45 mins with a broken down vehicle and no cellphone time . Wednesday , our black labrador , had an anaesthetic to sort out her teeth . The gentleman who wants to buy the vehicle turned up to find it broken down and we refused to sell it to him , until we find out what is wrong with it , as it may be something really major . We would feel really bad to sell him a total dud . I returned the crib we have been housing for the last few years to the church it belongs to , got a deposit back on our empty gas cylinder , took our wonderful housemaid to be interviewed for her new job , delivered a load of firewood , ( thought it was the last ever load , but got an order for another load to be delivered tomorrow or over the weekend . ) All in all it was a day that seems to have been several weeks long , a bit of boredom looks really good ! Well , it is amazing how much can be done in one day . We now have a house that echoes with emptiness . The carpets are gone , to be cleaned before packing , a lot of our sittingroom furniture has gone and our bed has been sold ! We are now sleeping on a much smaller , but more comfortable bed that we are taking with us . Unfortunately all the cats decided they had been badly treated and needed to sleep with us ! I am sure we will get used to it . It 's been another tough day . Before you think this blog too bleak and whingy to bother with , fill your mind with the mental image of Barbs and I trying to insert 4 cats into two containers . Yes we have the blood and wounds to prove it . I know you 're all frightfully clever and have already worked out that this is a ridiculously , insanely stupid thing to try and do , because both cats need to go in at the same time , and 2 pairs of hands need to come out , sans the cat / s . It took us about 3 tries for each catbox . . . and of course two ' phone calls mid frantic cat persuit and insertions . . . " Oh Dave , I didn 't want to call when I heard you were leaving . . . " Dave - holding cat with buzz - saw legs . " Jenn , I am wrestling with a very angry cat . . . can I call you ( MEEOWWWWW HISSS YOWL ) . " " But I just have to chat to you . . . " Anyway mission accomplished , 4 cats injected , 3 microchipped ( at James 's request his cat is staying here with his best friends who he will spend his short holidays with . Hard . . . But Legsie may be better off , and will be spoiled , I think ) Three dogs microchipped injected and inspected . And sadly we have had to send my little Button to the long sleep . She was very very old , blind ( needed a seeing eye human ) deaf , senile ( she used to know her way everywhere ) and the last few nights has been struggling for breath . We always said that when she was in distress , we would call it time . Two years ago , she was supposedly on death 's door . It was still very hard . I held her in my arms , B stroked her and the vet helped her to the rainbow bridge . Sigh . Salute to a loyal little brave heart . Why do we give our hearts to our dogs to tear ? Tomorrow hopefully we will finalise the details of the dogs and cat 's quarantine . Roland despite his age passed his medical exam . Despite the Savethedragons . nu project ( without which it would simply not have been possible ) we will be hit financially terribly hard by this ( sadly this particular author fits the starving in a garret and not much financial acumen mold ) . Still , more money we can maybe make Posted by We had the French cousins ( the ones whose sons christened me ' Robinson ' after I introduced them to our idea of fun - catching and collecting food , and cooking it over an open fire at the beach . ) I did mussels in an annisette scented tomato base , with black squid ink spagetti and green olives , a lemon and orange and lemoncillo sorbet , and then venison with sauce of bacon , ceps and artichoke heart , with jerepigo and cream , with home - made pears in spiced red wine . I cooked for South Africa , and they ate for France . Soon I will have to cook for Australia . Today was our writers group meeting - or rather a drinking society with a writing problem , which has finished late and maudlin . It was rather nice to have people tell us they appreciated us , but they 'll manage fine without us , I reckon . The level of talent - and the variety , is amazing . The dead fat lady story was a candidate for being banned by the Geneva convention as a weapon of mass - construction . It 's been a lot of fun to watch it grow . I 've been very reluctant to post about our dogs and cats despite the fact that they 're our stay - at - home stand - in kids providing much of the amusement of country life , to say nothing of affection ( and mud . And shed fur ) Moving them is difficult and very expensive because of the quarantine issue . They 're not easy to re - home being country animals used to having 3 - 4 acres of garden , and of course humans on tap 24 / 7 . I 've always got at least one with me . . . but the costs are extortionate , and authors are classic starving artists : - ( . It was tearing me apart . But we just couldn 't do it . ( there is a breakdown of the costs on Save The Dragons in the FAQ ) . Anyway thanks to Walt and Francis we managed to make some kind of plan - to sell one of my books on the net to try and bridge PART the gap . ( it 's a huge gap ) and thus http : / / www . savethedragons . nu / was born . And of of course more ulcer - material because there is nothing like hope to make you afraid . I love them - especially my big Old English Sheepdog , very much ( actually , all of them . But he was born on my lap ) . Anyway - we 're about 3 / 4 of the way there - enough to trust that we 'll scrape in the rest , somehow . It 's making us a lot poorer ( lets ' put it this way , we could fly our family over and back 5 times for the cost of moving them ) But has meant leaving everything very late and worrying a lot . It 's going to be hard sending them into quarantine and you can 't explain . Sad too , as Buttons ( my 18 year old somewhat senile maltese ) can 't go . She 's been on death 's door , but not in distress for some time . Last night however she was struggling to breathe . It has always been our decision that if she was in distress , we 'd call time . I think it is very close now . Legsie ( my son 's cat ) will stay with his friends with whom he will spend holidays , so another farewell . Still , they give us their loyalty and love : what would we be worth is we did not try to do as much ? Posted by B and I have bounced around SA - University , various jobs , and then picking a place close to the kids school ( Treverton ) . And the one thing I can say is although you may bind to a place , and love the mountains or the trees or the ocean . . . there remains the fact that we are social animals , even solitary blokes like me . I 've lived in cities with populations of several million - had friends and enjoyed some of what the city offered . But we 've usually been at our happiest in smaller places , where individuals matter . Yes , if you have a secret hamster fetish and it 's an intolerant and narrowly conservative community , or you have three bits on the side or don 't pay your bills . . . A small community can be hell . But if you 're a dull bloke without any major deadly secrets and you didn 't really care if quizzy old auntie Clara and the switchboard operator ( ah days gone by ) were listening to you chatting to your wife , a small community - if it 's the right one - can be a very supportive place to live , and manage to offer a social life that the big city just can 't . Of course . . . if you 're bright or interested in a specialised field ( physics or writing or making model airplanes ) a city is more likely to get you face - time with similar people . But the internet makes a lot of difference there . So the issue then becomes ' the right community ' . And that is actually harder and more difficult and varied than you may realise from a city - dweller 's perspective ( and that 's where I came from ) . There is a lot to it which is less than obvious , and it 's hard to predict without being in it . My brother and I ended up in two small towns which are 30 km apart in Southern Zululand . My brother is more gregarious and easier to get on with than I am . Our town was maybe 40 % larger . His was ruled a social heirarchy and a few queen bees who were not too keen on newcomers . Status and money were hugely imortant , and status was determined by TPB ( the powers that be ) . As the town engineer , you 'd have thought he 'd be quite well thought of in a heirarchy . . . but no . Posted by Humans are tool - users by nature . And besides junk we collect , we male ones like to play with these toys ( no , it 's not an exclusively male passtime , and there are plenty of women with their own collections . Some , like my mum , value stone grinders and fret - saws and little hammers , and mysterious and arcane gardening implements , others tend toward masses of quilting stuff or cooking devices - although I 'll give them a good run for their money there . ) But my tools - mostly relating to gardening , woodworking , and the craft of surviving are in general not an impressive , shiny lot . Nor are they the smartest and best makes . . . Mostly they 're old , solid , and very well ( if somewhat ineptly ) used . Some of them belonged to my great great - and they still work . There are darn few tools I 've gone out and bought because I wanted a new toy , so almost everything has a history . Fencing pliers , pipe wrenches , key - hole saws . Many are unusal things that you can 't easily find ( a brass foot - pump ) , various files in odd sizes and shapes . . . that sort of thing . The sort of thing we are not allowed to take to Oz . So today we had our friends the rabbit - janitors come over and load them up . Weldmesh , barbed wire , tree - nets . A legacy of bolts , nuts , nails , screws and rivets . Bergen was nearly squeaking with girlish glee ( and you 'd have to see him to even begin to grasp how funny this was . ) Sigh . To sell - except to another nutter like us - and they have no money by definition . . . not much . To replace . . . a lot , and lot again , as they don 't MAKE wrenches the way they did 50 years back . And grumble all the sort of things I will need to build with . Ah well . C ' est la vie . They brought us a rabbit and a roasted chicken - one of their own chooks - and we had home - made kir ( with blackberry juice and champagne ) and herb and tomato bread . I think that 's my own invention , with tomato juice for the liquid , and a orange , lemon and vodka sorbet for dessert . And so we move on . I 'm going to go and look at Google Earth to remember why I am doing this . And maybe the Posted by Life at the moment is a series of highs and lows , with moods that do not always match ! ! We have found work for the wonderful lady , Ntombifuthi , who has been working in our house for the last 8 years . We have sold our Colt bakkie , ( ute ) , but can continue to use it until we leave the house , but not the country . We cannot book our ferry ride across to Flinders yet , and we keep having thunderstorms that stop all computer use , if they not turn off the electricity completely . We thought we had wonderful homes for 2 of our cats , and we would just go with the other two . But one has fallen through , which I quite understand , but now we need even more money . But on the other hand we do not need to say ' goodbye ' to one of the cats ! Dave has another dentist appointment , and we are taking another load of furniture to auction . another load of memories goes , but I hope their new owners enjoy them . No news from pet people . Ulcer making . Other than that - taking all fur and feathers out of my fly - tying stuff ( the remainder - some synthetics , cotton , chain - eyes and wire and odd size 24 hooks is pitiful ) . I 'm down from 4 large boxes to one small one . 20 years of gradual build up gone . Oh well . My vices happen to be the kind you tie flies on . Well , some of my vices . I have metalwork and woodwork ones too : - ( . I 'll have to take up debauchery instead as that is something customs don 't seem to check on . We had a couple of guys out to read the meter , and they showed interest in the Utes . We shall see . I am reading a lot at the moment . Lots of pleasant escapist books . Tonight I picked up a book I have not read for many years , and just remembered it as being set further north than her first book which I have read often . Halfway down page one : - I cannot say that everyone should live as we do , but you might be happy on an island if you can face up to the following : 1 . Dinner guests are often still with you seven day , weeks , months later . . . 2 . Any definite appointment . . . acts as an automatic signal for the ferry - boats to stop running . . . 7 . Anyone contemplating island dwelling must be physically strong and it is an added advantage if you aren 't too bright . I wonder if my mind remembered it , and caused me to reread it , as a warning to put my brain on hold for the next few years ! Still Betty MacDonald is fun to read anyway , so I will now finish the book to see if she has any other good advice for me . The snow had damaged these branches so that they hung low over the road . Too low for the container . This is me ( up the tree ) and our helper Mfanjane . It involved some interesting angles , but did give me something to think about besides the cost of moving our furkids . Our quotes had of course expired . . . Now we wait - one is in a little bit more expensive . They were more expensive first time . http : / / www . savethedragons . nu / - the site some fans helped to set up to sell one of my books to earn extra for this horrendously expensive excercise has helped , but we 're taking major strain on this . I 'm finding it very hard to talk about or deal with , as I 'm a hopeless soppy about my rescue moggies and silly dogs . The proofs of Sorceress of Karres are now in . For years we had epics with couriers delivering proofs to me , and failing to find this place and leaving them at some bizarre spots ( the hotel bottle shop , chicken farm , post office . . . ) It 's a pity that Baen have taken to sending them as . pdf files . . . it saves them money and trouble but costs me a great deal of both , as I now have to print them on my dodgy old printer - - and I am inevitably out of paper or ink or both , and this situation is tricky now , but it 'll be a lot trickier on the island . Besides , there would have been some small schadenfreude in having the courier fly in and try to hire a car to find me - or bliss , have to walk ( or hee hee take the ferry ) and try to leave without delivering to me . Yes , I know . Not the same couriers as messed me about here , and in actual reality I would have done my best to help - probably collected it from the plane and let the airline sign for it Launceston . But allow me the happy little nasty vision of a lost fedex courier truck blundering about the island . ; - ) - with a week to spend before the ferry goes back . Anyway besides poor B nearly poking her eye out , and being scratched to pieces in the acacia that she wanted to do ( um . She IS rather stubborn about these things . When you 've been together for as long as we have . . . if she wPosted by Having finished the proof of Dave 's next book , it was back to the trees , to cut enough for the movers . Dave did the really , really high plane tree , so I thought I had better do the next one . A really thorny Acatia type thing . I was scratched and poked all over , but at least the drive is now container friendly ! Then in stepping over a cut branch , I managed to get a thin twig in my eye , That put a halt to my gallop and I retired to put ice on it , while Dave finished clearing away the rest of the cut branches . Apart from an occasional throb it is fine now , but I really feel I am not really pulling my weight in this moving business . Today has mostly been taken up with proof reading Sorceress of Karres and asking pet movers for updated quotes . Very depressing . And the new owners of Finnegan 's Wake came out . I walked them around the fruit trees . The Olive is a mass of blossom . And to follow through with the song - if I could station the convenience above the Mooi River municipality and shower them with my ' appreciation ' . . . I would . You remember that rates certificate that had to in with the deeds office by Friday that they promised - after we 'd overpaid them that they would post ? well guess what . . . They refuse point blank to give to us to let us deliver it by hand last week . They had to deal with an incandescent Barbs today . She got it and delivered it . But of course . . . the whole thing is now late , rot them . So we don 't know if we 'll be paid in time . Ah well . It 's character building . I reckon if you join B and I 's character 's together by now . . . we could build a bridge and walk to Australia on it . The cut down trees part - we 've been cutting a 4 . 5 metre arch to get the container in . Trust me , in 3 years you won 't know it happened - we had to do the same when we moved here - the tree is about 35 metres high and as wide . Oh and Elliots ( movers ) seem to have lost the plot . Pop - top - what pop - top ? ( see another 3 feet on character suddenly go up with pilasters and small decorative arches . They promised to get back to me . Maybe they tried . I was up a tree . So today has not been spent writing but cutting large branches . I really must start wearing gloves for this sort of thing as I have a battered thumb . Thing is rock - climber was up the tree sawing . And gloves are not safe to climb in . On the plus side being 6 metres up on a whippy branch doesn 't worry me as long as it is not with a chain - saw ( tied on see , and out of fall on and / or whip zone - but falling off with a chainsaw could be deadly . ) So the high stuff was done with a bow - saw . This is not that bad as none of the branches were more than 8 inches thick - but I 'm going to be an imitation English gentleman all over and not just my upper lip tomorrow . Hot bath time . The worst were the cypress - B wanted to do a branch and had to cut right through . I ened up doing another 4 while she went to tear strips off Mooi Muni . I had to do the same - and fPosted by We have just come in for lunch . While I was in town today , Dave cut a huge number of big branches off the pin oak tree , so that our container can get in here to be loaded . Luckily there is still a canopy of tree over the driveway , it is just a lot higher , as we were told the truck will be 4 . 5m high ! So I thought I had better pitch in and do my share . So I climbed the 4m ladder that had only been constructed this morning , out of newly cut green branches . ( Any idea how springy they are ? ) Then another meter or so up the tree , I proceeded to cut one of the offending branches . Wow , that is higher off the ground than I have been for years , and Dave thought the bow saw safer than the chainsaw , so I burned off a lot more calories than I had planned on . Still one more branch hit the dust , and then we stopped for lunch . Just 3 more branches to come down , and then clearing up all the chaos on the ground ! I just hope we have no visitors for a day or so , they may battle to drive around . So following a tip off ( thanks ! ) after my comments about veg - seed in Tas I went to this blog . . . http : / / nonsuchkitchengardens . com / wordpress / ( which is very worth reading especially if you 're into plants or kitchens ) and followed the link to http : / / www . thelostseed . com . au / index . htmSigh . I could order the entire catalogue : - ) They have Scorzonera ( I have wanted forever ) . Radicchio ! Collards ( never tasted - I was only just talking to o ' mike about them theis morning ) Melons I have never even heard of ( and melon with my salami or proscuitto is just magnificent ) . New Zealand Yams , Purple Dragon carrots , and white Belgian carrots . . . The only thing that dread is just how much money I could spend on this catalogue , without even trying . Sigh - here I could buy roma , I think 3 - 4 varieties of red salad tomato ( determinate and indeterminate ) , coctail red ( jam ) a coctail yellow pear . And that 's IT . Forget black or large yellow or . . . I counted 101 varieties ! help Advice ? ; - ) The only disappointment was the luffa . . . ( I assumed it was a logga , and stirred its coffee with its thumb ) tch . Loofa ! Luffa humph . and everyone knows they are mined from loofite in the midwest . Almond x2 , Apple x 4 ( 2 bearing ) , apricot x2 , cherry x2 , fig x 3 , hazel x 2 , kiwi x2 ( large vines + male ) , grape ( not very tasty katawba ) , lemon x 2 , Mulberry , Olive x 2 , nectarine , pear x 5 , white peach , cling peach x 4 , plum x 2 ( red heart and yellow ) , Pecan x 2 , raspberries ( lots ) , Walnut x 2 , quince . That 's what I have established here - a list to remind me . Sometimes we 're awash with fruit . The apples can give us half a ton of fruit , and plums and Kiwis fifty kilos . Of course there is constant war with fruitfly , leaf - miners , monkeys , and various birds - who can leave us with nothing . I 've always felt the key to small - scale agriculture was diversification . Grin . How perfectly this suits my jack of all trade nature . I 'm never going to get any of the nuts that I planted , but someone will ( maybe my wild cousins the monkeys ) . But it 's a poorer world if we only plant what we will harvest . I know there are various biocontrol hurdles , but I am looking forward to seeing what will grow . ( and doubtless many happy hours of swearing at wallaby , possums , and various birds . ) And I will miss bananas - but by the time they get in by plane or ferry , I reckon gold will be cheaper . Anything I should consider growing ? Flinders is a wild and beautiful place . This is quite a terrifying , exciting adventure for us . As a kid my daydream was to live on an island - rather like Swallows and Amazons . I suspect reality will be a little different ! It 's going to mean learning a lot , probably the hard way , in a new country in a small isolated community , with a long ferry ride or an expensive small plane trip to get to the sort of things most people consider as merely available . We 're going to have to learn to be pretty much self - sufficient , to grow or hunt or harvest our own food , as anything that has to get transported in will be pricy . And there is no nipping out the shops . We 'll have to learn to fit in . Learn how to cook wallaby , and probably all manner of other things . Learn how to deal with the weather and the wildlife . Doubtless there 'll be a lot of disasters . It should make for entertaining reading ( maybe more than doing ) .
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Wow , I can only imagine what this hunter must have felt when he spotted this 772 pound behemoth of a black bear and realized he could get off a shot at it . It took two shots to bring it down , from his deceased father 's rifle chambered in . 30 - 06 . I can hardly guess at the number of steaks he is going to get from that or the amount of the taxidermist 's bill for skinning it and turning its hide into a nice rug . I figure that the largest black bear I have ever seen afield may have weighed in at about 300 - 350 pounds ( and that is a conservative estimate ) and it had me pretty concerned even though I was holding a 12 gauge loaded with slugs . It was only 30 - 35 feet from me and showing signs of nervous aggression before I fired a shot to scare it off ; that was in an area that did not allow bear hunting at the time , otherwise I would have been eating bear steaks and roasts for a long time . I think seeing a 772 pounder though , that close , may have made me drop my shotgun and beg for mercy . As for the hunter who bagged this brute , I hope he enjoys every mouthful ( bear meat is excellent ) and that his bear winds up breaking former records . It seems he may have bagged the world record black bear . The Boone and Crocket Club is currently making that determination based on the bear 's skull dimensions . . . . placed in a baking tray , with the gin allowed to soak into the corn for awhile , left outside for the turkeys to eat would be a very tempting end to the so called problem of too many turkeys in the neighborhood . I have heard said that such a mixture , when eaten by turkeys , makes them pass out and thus easy to collect , dispatch and eventually to get into the oven . Note , I said it would be tempting although I must point out I would not do it nor advocate anyone else doing it if illegal - which almost certainly must be the case within the boundaries of NY City let alone the rest of the state of NY . I studied Constitutional Law in college and later again in a few academy courses in both the Border Patrol and Customs academies and thus learned about a person having a right not to be subjected to double jeopardy for the same crime . In it 's simplest form double jeopardy would be a case in which a defendant was found not guilty and then arrested and prosecuted again , for the same charge , if new evidence was found that indicated his guilt . The state simply cannot do it and I agree , it should not be done because it would result in persecutions of too many innocent people against whom the state decided to hold a crusading vendetta , for whatever reasons - such a political considerations , against the accused . I think there is a case now in which the claim might be raised by the defense that the state is subjecting the accused , in my opinion a heinous criminal , to double jeopardy . Although I certainly am no expert on this aspect of the law , I would think that if someone is convicted of a crime and sentenced , then once he has completed the sentence , it might possibly be seen as double jeopardy to sentence him to a longer term for the same crime . I hope it is not the case though - at least in this particular instance . This case is more something like someone being convicted and sentenced to 30 years in jail , then getting out early for good behavior but having to abide by parole regulations which if violated would send him right back to jail to complete the original sentence except that the man has apparently not violated his parole and yet the state is seeking to sentence him to the longer term . What they are saying is that the sentence given was illegal on the part of the sentencing judge . Is it double jeopardy if it was the judge who erred illegally in arriving at the length of time served relative to the sentencing ? I hope not because in this case , a vile disgusting pedophile of a rapist raped , repeatedly , a 14 year old girl ( made even more disgusting by the fact he was a teacher , reportedly her teacher ) . It may not be double jeopardy because the actual sentence he received was 15 years and upon sentencing the judge suspended all but 31 days of his sentence . Why the suspension of most of the sentence ? The judge thought that it was fitting , proper and legally lenient . That was apparently , in part , based on the judge 's belief that the victim was ' older than her chronological age ' . I find it difficult to believe tat the judge was lenient to the defendant because the girl looked more mature than her years , especially when the rapist knew the girl and was reportedly her teacher . My guess would be that the defense will say that any such imposition of a further sentence , without a parole violation , would be double jeopardy although right now , the defense is not saying anything publically . I really truly hope that the court does not decide such , as the actual sentence was to 15 years imprisonment as I understand and it is going to be argued that the judge 's leniency was illegal . I especially there will not be a finding of double jeopardy and that the criminal will have to endure the complete 15 years behind bars if only in as much as the state should honor the memory of the 14 year old girl , the victim who was evidently forgotten or ignored by the sentencing judge . I say in her memory because she committed suicide before the trial . Of course , there was a public outcry and the judge tried to resentence the man ; however , the prosecutors went to Montana 's supreme court to stop the judge from resentencing the man and I would guess because it may have been a double jeopardy issue had he done so or because it would have otherwise been illegal for him to change the sentence . The state is appealing the original sentencing saying it was illegal and I hope they win and that the rapist is sentenced to at least the 10 years they are trying to get him to serve . If the state loses its appeal , but somehow the judge is determined to have acted and found guilty of a crime related to the sentencing , I think it might be fitting to have the judge serve the full sentence that could have been given to the rapist . If the judge is found to have acted within the law , then I think he should resign because there is no way that I can see it as him having carried out his duties morally , ethically and within the spirit of the law . . . . and I do mean besides all those People of Walmart photos that make the rounds on the Internet now and then ( I am overdue to receive an email with new ones ) . Yesterday , on my trip home from hunting , I decided to take a break from driving in the storm at an average speed of about 50mph ( in a 65 zone ) . I figured that Middletown , NY would be a good place to stop because I could visit Gander Mountain to see if they had any 22LR ammo . I have a pretty good supply of it , but about half of mine if from the 1970s or 80s , so my supply could use freshening up . As it turned out , I got off the highway heading west instead of east ( the direction of gander Mountain ) because my stomach was talking to me . I made a quick stop at Mickey D 's for two all beef patties , special sauce , lettuce , cheese , onions on a sesame seed bun and some fries . I did takeout because the clientele inide looked like a group of hoodlums . Then I took my food and headed to the other side of the road , into Walmart 's parking lot , where I gobbled it down . While there I had the rather infrequent , for me , thought of going into Walmart to check for 22LR ammo . While walking back to sporting goods , I came across a bin of CDs for $ 5 . 00 each . I gave a cursory glance and was very surprised to almost immediately find a Roy Orbison CD I liked , something along the lines of greatest hits . That go me to digging and I came up with a dozen of them from Alice Cooper 's first album to Waylon Jennings with some Lynyrd Skynyrd in the middle . After that , I headed over to the ammo case , not really expecting to find anything worth buying . As I approached from afar , it looked as if I had been right since the shelves were about 75 % - 85 % depleted of a full load . I walked over to it and as I got closer , with some squinting since I left my reading glasses in the car , I noticed Winchester 22LR ammo ! There were two boxes of Winchester M * 22 , 22 Long Rifle , 40 grain , black copper plated , round nose ammo . I asked how much and the Walmart guy told me $ 50 . 87 . It was a bit difficult to impossible for me to read all of what was on the box , so I asked how many rounds were in each of the rather large looking bricks . The clerk opened the outside box and took out one of two inside boxes and started to open them saying that the outside of the box did not say how many rounds were inside . I squinted again and gave a good once over to one of the boxes and there in the middle of the box , it said 1 , 000 rounds . I told him not to bother opening them and to ring em up . Another 2 , 000 rounds in the ammo supply and I was a happy camper . I don 't know anything about this ammo other than what it says on he box . I rarely used Winchester 22 ammo in the past . I am hoping this is a step up from their low end 22 ammo about which I have heard bad things - mostly that it was known for lots of misfires and firing very dirty . If this stuff goes bang every time and is fairly accurate I will be very satisfied considering the price at just a tiny bit over . 05 cents per round . If you are like a lot of other folks , myself included , who have been looking for 22LR ammo , you may want to give a Walmart that sells ammo a try . ( My local Walmart does not sell ammo , I don 't think any in my county sell ammo ) . While there , if you are short of cash , just avoid the CD bin . I did not bother heading over to Gander Mountain after that since I already had spent more than I needed to or should have spent on hunting and ammo over the past two weeks . What the heck , you only live twice and I am going to enjoy this second round of life as best I can . Anyway that 's why God invented plastic and debtors courts . Just Back From Hunting Went hunting again today , up near Windsor , NY . Once again , the deer laughed at me . It was a lot colder than last week , 27 degrees most of the day on the mountain , but I loved it even though I did not see hide nor hair of a beast . Saw tracks , evidently I pushed two or three out of the beds ( all of them were together ) and must have come close because one of them startled a chipmunk that made a racket but never saw them . About 2 - 6 inches of snow on the ground , depending on time of day . A five hour drive home including a 45 minute to one hour stop in Middletown . It was slow due to it storming out , mostly sleet and rain for the duration of the trip . More blogging tomorrow . I am willing to bet my life savings , that if I actually wrote a piece about how it is currently the era of the white man , and in that piece called African Americans Negroes , I would be branded as a racist by a great many people . Yet , it is apparently quite fine for a black man to write a piece called : It Is The Era Of The Black Woman 100 Amazing Facts About the Negro : When did the golden age of black female achievement begin ? and to call African Americans Negroes in his piece . Then again , it is apparently okay for African Americans to call each other " my nigga " and " nigger " but not okay for me because I am Western European American , aka : Caucasian or white . Yet , I have heard it said hundreds , if not thousands , of times by one black person addressing another black person all with no racial insult ever being taken . Yet , it is racism and nothing more , nor less , to restrict the appropriateness of using those terms to one racial group and to lambaste another as racists if they too use it . Then again , the whole idea of glorifying the achievements of any person , based on their race , is racist . Thus I find the article linked to above as abhorrently racist . Brr - What A Difference a Day Makes No , I should say , what a difference a few hours make . Yesterday , it had to have been in the mid to high 50 's where I live . Then late in the afternoon the temperature dropped and by about 7PM it was feeling really cold . The wind was blowing and that helped it to feel even colder . Then , I am guessing it was around 7 - 8 PM , the snow started to fall or should I say started to blow , it was really windy . Just got a bit though . Today , it is as cold as a witch 's breasticle ! I just checked three different online weather services - one said it is currently 30 degrees here , the second said 30 degrees and the third said 29 . 2 . What a drop over the course of a day and I am pretty certain it was colder last night ( or in the dark and wee hours of the morning today ) . According to a check I just did for " yesterday 's weather " , the high here was 54 degrees and the low was 30 . I know , realative to other places , even place to which I have traveled in winter , 29 degrees is not all that cold but it is still cold for this area in November . I think the coldest place I have ever visited was Pokeafellow Pocatello , Idaho . As I remember , it got down into the minus twenties when I was there for a FAM detail covering the Winter Olympics in 2002 . I was just out trying to rake up and bag about a ton or two of leaves ( aggrandized by my imagination to be sure ) in my tiny backyard and along the side of my house . I got only 4 small bags filled ( 30 gallon sized , I think ) and had to take a break because my finger tips felt like they were about to frost over ( no exaggeration ) . The leaves are dry and the wind kept gusting , so it is not the best day to do yard cleanup but - she who must be obeyed ( at least now and again ) had given me my work orders . Luckily for me , my son did around the front of the house . Guess I owe him a beer for that or some ammo or both . Perhaps , I should get back to work before she who must be obeyed gets upset . I am hoping that the 4 piles of leaves , I had ready to bag up , have not blown all over the place . It seemed the gusts were much less strong out back of the house than along side it where it was like being in a wind tunnel between my neighbor 's garage and our house , so Left those out back . I guess I 'll know in a moment or two . I was just over at Wirecutter 's blog and read this : To save a buck . Stupid fuckers . It is a post about idiots who are already camping outside of Best Buy stores , a week early , awaiting Black Friday sales . Are they fucking nuts ( see this ) . There is nothing that Worst Best Buy could offer me to cause me to wait on a long line , let alone camp out on line , to shop there - NOTHING ! How the fuck anyone could wait on a line , let alone camp out on a line , to get into Best Buy is beyond me . That has got to be one of the worst stores in which I have ever shopped and I try to avoid it like the plague . About the only way I would shop there is if they were they last place in my area to have something I really needed . But to camp out on line for several days , just to get a few bucks off , that I probably could have gotten elsewhere at a place with much better customer service and return policies , no way . Any way , they can 't be saving that much money on anything to make it worthwhile . I have waited on lines too . Several hours for Rolling Stones tickets at Madison Square Garden and I was sixth on the line . Yet , I only got seats in about the third or fourth row . Guy right in front of me must have bought most of the seats in first and second rows . Another time , I waited in a long line for tickets to see Led Zeppelin at Madison Square Garden . The line was so unruly that several people , just a few feet in front of me , got pushed through a set of heavy plate glass doors and were badly cut up because the throng just kept shoving forward and there was no place to go except through the glass of those locked doors . I waited many hours ( most of a day ) to get the tickets for that show and got really good seats . Then , for the same Led Zeppelin tour , I also waited most of two days , in the friggin ' cold of February , on a loading ramp of Nassau Coliseum . I got great seats for that , 10th row . Then , a couple of days before the concert , I went fishing with a buddy , on a jetty at Rockaway ( yes we were snockered ) and while we were on the jetty with waves crashing into us , I collapsed in agony . As I lay on the rocks , another wave hit me and my buddy actually caught me as I was about to go over the side of the jetty and into the drink . My buddy thought Hat tip to Wirecutter for giving me inspiration to steal his idea and write this post . Ammo Alert - Winchester Super - X 12 Gauge 00 Buckshot As I post this , Cabelas ( a company with which I am none to enamored ) has an excellent deal ( considering current market conditions ) for Winchester , Super - X , 12 gauge , 9 pellet , 00 buckshot , 15 round boxes @ $ 10 . 99 each . If your order amounts to more than $ 99 , and you use promotion code 3Gifts , shipping is free . See the page at this link . . . . maybe there is something to at least some of these conspiracy theories after all . Nope , I am not talking about the assassination of John F . Kennedy . What I am talking about is not quite as evil as that but certainly may go a long way to explain something that has been happening in my life over the past several years during the fall season . As you probably are aware , if you read this blog at all , I like to go hunting when I can , especially for whitetail deer . That regardless of the fact that for about the last 7 or so years , the deer where I hunt just laughed whenever they realized it was me in the forest . Yes , that means I have not bagged one in too long a time . I have oft times wondered , relative to me not bagging one each season , things like : Or could it be that I am doing something wrong and giving away myself , as I hunt , by scent or some other indicator . Well , I try to be pretty quiet in the woods , cover my scent by washing with scentless and odor masking soap , use laundry detergent specifically made for hunters , spray scent eliminator on my boots , and pretty much get rid of my man stink . I also wear blaze camo clothing . I do wind up walking up on deer , or see them from my stand , almost every season . This year was no exception , I saw 5 deer while afield , but they were all does and this year I spooked a couple of them even though , as far as I was aware , I was pretty much scentless , was being quiet and moving slowly ( only a few steps at a time and pausing for several seconds before moving again ) and had taken all the usual precautions . I just could not figure my long deer - less streak . That is , until this evening . A few minutes ago , I spotted evidence that there is at least one member of my household that may have been sabotaging my efforts to bag a deer by leaving a scent behind that deer avoid . This family member may be acting alone or in concert with other family members but my bet would be that others are in on it . I say that because the one I caught in the act is the latest addition to the family and must have learned how to sabotage my hunting trip from somebody else before actually doing it too . Then again , for all I know , my family member maybe somehow was in contact directly with the deer and was instructed on what to do by them ; those deer are wily critters . What was done was to add a scent to my hunting clothes after I just washed them in a scent free and odor blocking hunter 's detergent . I would not even think of spraying down my hunting jacket before my next hunt because I would expect it to still be scent free but man oh man would I have been wrong on that one . The fact that I was being sabotaged is plainly evident , see for yourselves : The evidence could not be much clearer than that - caught in the act of leaving a scent that deer dread maybe even more that man stink . It was the evil - dog stink ! The culprit is Abby , our long haired ( and fat ) Chihuahua who is atop my hunting clothes inside the plastic bin in which I store my gear . I had just put it in there and was about to get the rest of it to put in too , when I was distracted for a few minutes . When I turned back around , there she was looking fat , happy and very comfortable . That was until I asked what she was doing on my hunting clothing , at which point she put on that ' Who me ? ' puppy face . I just know that one of the other dogs , or maybe a deer , somehow told her what to do . Wow , I thought that Republicans had long forgotten about those ideals . If Senator Guillory 's record in politics matches his words in this video , I would vote for him for president in a NY minute . A hat tip and my thanks to Peter Q for sharing that with me . Here is a link to an online article by Fox News about a woman who got screwed out of a tax credit that would have helped her afford Obummercare . Read it and weep for her . Read it and complain about her getting screwed . Read it an be upset because health care is none of the government 's business . Read it and wish that Obummercare would have been a figment of a bad dream you had last night . Then tell me , what did Fox news do that was totally screwed up ! Have you figured it out yet ? Read the article before you read more here . You will have to scroll over the blank area below , while holding down your left mouse key ( or right one if you have your mouse set up for lefties ) . And no , it is not that the Fox News article says that what she was going to have to pay was lower than what she had been paying - when in fact she had not been paying for a health insurance plan before this for 15 years ( but yes that shows how stupid was the reporter and editor who let that slip into the piece ) . The Fox news article said that calls to the health insurance company Premera were not immediately returned . Why the fuck did they call Premera ? Why didn 't they telephone Obama , and Biden , and Pelosi , and Reid with their questions about why she was getting screwed ? Better yet , why didn 't they just call them all inept assholes and be done with it ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Once again , I have returned from a deer hunting trip with no meat for the pot ! Spent three days hunting - the deer won all three days and I scored nothing . I saw a total of 5 does while afield on my hunting trip and am almost certain that I heard a buck sneaking away from me . First off , I spotted three does the day before the season opened . I could have had a clean shot at two I saw together in the woods . They were probably 75 yards away and broadside to me . I also saw another doe , under an apple tree , on somebody 's lawn ( right next to the state forest ) . That one I waved to and talked to , it was only about 15 yards away from me at most and it just stood there , broadside , taunting me mercilessly . Somehow , I got the notion that it knew I could not legally shoot it . I thought I heard it snicker with glee as I walked away - but nah that could not be - could it ! I also saw three does , under apple trees on the farm that used to belong to my uncle , but that was from my car so they don 't count in what I saw while afield . The first three I mentioned were all when I was afoot in the field . Then yesterday , day three of the season , I saw another two does but had spooked them . They were about 30 - 35 yards out and headed toward me . I had been still hunting , and was about to stop and take a rest when I took that one more step , cracked a branch under the leaf litter and saw them bolt . I tried to call them back and as I did , I heard another deer creeping away from the same spot in which they had been . No raised tail , no bolting away through the brush , just a branch cracking and a swooshing noise in the undergrowth , several times , going in the opposite direction than the one the does had taken . That had ' smart old buck ' written all over it . Certainly smarter than me ; I gave them all awhile and then tried to call them in , all to no avail . Also tried circling wide around to spot them again but that did not work either . Oh well , still a few weeks left in the season . I am so sick of hearing about gay pride , lesbian pride , transgender pride and bi - pride and the implication that if we do not accept gayness we should be shamed . They want to make noise about it - okay , I too am making noise about my sexual preference ( and yes it is a preference as I see it ) . I am full of pride for walking the straight side . Now tell me , is pride only okay if you are anything other than heterosexual , I don 't think so ! Proud and loud here - hetero and always will be so . . . . and definitely no deer , at least not today . First day out , had a nice spot , a couple of apple trees , lots of heavily used deer trails into and out of it , lots of deer sign , a few rubs , a scrape nearby nothing early on but I sort of figured this as a late afternoon deer stop . We stayed there until about 1 : 30 and my son asked if we could leave since his tendinitis was acting up and he was in a lot of pain . That sucks big time . Not that he asked me to leave but that a 23 , soon to be 24 , year old youngster is stuck with a condition like that because his doctor prescribed him Levaquin about 2 years ago . It also sucks because he did not even see a deer . He will either leave tonight or tomorrow morning since he has work tomorrow afternoon and will leave without any venison . I am hoping he will come up with me again for just a day in the next few weeks and maybe we will have luck on our side for a change and he will bag one . Me , I should be here another day or two . Will try another area tomorrow , with which I am none too familiar but where I have an antlerless deer permit . All the best , . . . with all the guns , gear and clothes I am taking on my hunting trip . With a little luck , I will hit the hay within half an hour to an hour and then be able to get my arse out of bed at about 0400 . I plan to be in the car and on the move by about 0445 . It 's about a 3 hour drive to my hotel but only 2 . 5 to the hunting area which I will stop at for a final scouting trip before I hit the hotel . I am in no hurry , so my drive may wind up taking longer but so what - it 's a mini vacation . Deer hunting season opens on Saturday and that is the day I have to make sure I am at my hunting site early , maybe by 0400 . Before then , it is all just having fun doing this and that . My son will be driving up , to meet me , either tomorrow night or Friday morning . He only got off Friday and Saturday , so on Friday I can show him the spot and maybe we can bag a turkey . We will have a good time together . Then on Saturday we will be a team and hopefully not one at which the deer wind up laughing out of the woods . Young New Jersey urban criminals reportedly have been " playing a game " called knockout in which they randomly attack a victim to see if one of them can knockout the person with a single blow or flurry of blows . Amazingly , the reporter says they are playing a game , to me it certainly appears more as if they are committing a violent felony . They may think that a game but I certainly do not and I am sure that their victims do not . The prospect of being attacked like this is scary and should evoke enough fear in you to not walk the streets alone . If you need to be out alone , I think you need to consider only going out while armed , in some legal manner , for self protection . That is easier said than done in NJ , so maybe some folks should just refuse to walk the streets alone , especially since these cowards are targeting lone victims . It should also make people scared enough to realize they should always remain aware of their surroundings and of the potential for threats . Even if you are armed and see a group of teenagers come your way , maybe you should consider avoiding them . I can say that if anyone attacked me like those attacks seen in the video , and if I was not knocked out , I quite possibly would respond with deadly force if I believed I was still under threat . Anyone attempting to knock me out in one shot or a combination of blows and kicks would obviously be using enough force to seriously harm or kill me . ( I refer to the videos showing the people hitting the concrete hard ) . Closed fist punches to the head and neck were considered to be deadly force , in our use of force policy , when I was a federal agent . In my opinion , I justifiably would be in fear for my life and limb if under attack like that . Think about that , study up on justifiable use of force in your state and locality , and be prepared . Do not let your guard down , and remember it is best to avoid such a situation but if you wind up in it , I think , you should be ready to fight for your life . . . . and the other struggles to free itself but to no avail until a father and son team arrive to give some help . Here is a link to a feel good video but I would have felt better if I had been out in the woods and blasted the one that made it ( legally of course ) . What can I say , hunting season is opening in a few days , here in NY , and I am raring to go ! Since I can use all the help I can get , a tuckered out buck would be okay with me . A Military Drone Flying Over NY Crashed . . . . . . into Lake Ontario . While it has been reported that another of the same model drone , a MQ - 9 Reaper , had crashed due to technical and pilot error before , military brass is promising an investigation to discover the cause of this crash . ( source ) With various hunting seasons open in that neck of the woods , including big game season for deer , one has to wonder if a bored hunter decided to take aim at it and give it a blast as it buzzed overhead . Probably would make me burst out laughing my arse off if it winds up that was the case . Then again , maybe it was an intrepid III Percenter practicing for a revolution or it could have even been a terrorist hoping for Jihad here in the US of A . Of course , there are lots of guns out in the woods for the hunting season so , if it winds up that it was shot down , my bet would be on the bored hunter . . . . here in NY State but all I can seem to think about is girls with huge racks . I don 't know if it is hormones , or the man - beast within me , or just that I am some kind of under sexed guy in need of good lovin ' or whatever but every darned time that I think of going out in the woods to bag a buck all I can think about is this girl with the really huge rack . Man is she ever so endowed . . . SG Ammo is offering 1000 rd case - 5 . 56 PMC X - TAC M855 62 grain Green Tip FMJ 5 . 56K LAP Ammo at $ 389 . 50 plus shipping . That is the best price I have seen on XM855 ammo in awhile , too long awhile . No , it is not pre - frenzy pricing but it really is one of the best prices , if not the best price , on XM855 that I have seen probably in over a year . Get it while they still have it ; earlier today they had about 240 cases of it in stock , as I write this they are down to 137 cases ( they sold 4 cases since I started writing this post ) . Then again , they also offer it in 20 round boxes for $ 7 . 89 per box ( which would work out the same price as a case if you bought 50 boxes ) and they have 1 , 174 of them in stock . Why spend all that money on ammo in one year especially when I could have gone on a really nice vacation with that money ( and even taken the wife with me ) . Well , first there was the reelection of Obama then there was the passage of the NY SAFE Act just a couple of months later . As for he vacation that I could have enjoyed , I yet may go on that vacation in the upcoming year because the days of my online ammo buying will be coming to an end soon and I 'll have that money to burn . Due to the NY SAFE Act , which was the main reason for my ammo buying frenzy , come January 1 , 2014 virtually all online purchases by individuals living in NY will cease . The law requires ammunition dealers to do a face to face check of ID and then run a background check on a purchaser of ammunition for very purchase ; buy a box of 50 rounds of . 22LR and the dealer is required to see your ID and run a background check . Welcome to the precursor of the Nazi state of NY and I mean that most sincerely . I think we are taking the first steps in that direction both in NY State and nationally with tyrants like Cuomo and Obama in office . Whether or not we will wind up there , in the long run , is anyone 's guess but I digress so let me get back on target . As you can see , my order of preference for ammunition stores and lastly at local gun stores ( LGS ) . The reasons I preferred to buy online were availability , price , customer service and because of ease of shopping . I know that a I truly understand the whole thing about armed individuals at airports being a safety concern . Yet , armed people at an airport should not necessarily cause alarm and , in most instances , should certainly not cause a panic . Yet panic all to often accompanies the legal gun owner usually because of gun fearing libturds . Take for example the arrival of a passenger at LAX ( Los Angeles Airport ) who reportedly either brandished a firearm or had a gun case in open view . You would think there would be a major difference between the two , that is between brandishing a weapon and merely having a gun case in public view but it seems that quite a few people have not quite figured out that difference yet . It has been reported , here , that a man arriving at LAX was arrested after he did one of the two but the report was unable to clarify which one it was that he actually did . It seems someone saw the man either take a firearm out of its case and brandish it ( wave it around ) or merely have a firearms case in his possession . That person called the police . Instead of the police doing what would have been the sensible thing , which would have been to approach the individual and question him and then examine the contents of the firearms case which contained a firearm that the man had legally and properly checked in with the airline in his checked luggage , the police called in the bomb squad to examine the contents of the gun case . Since the contents of the gun case had already been checked , when the man had gone through security screening at his point of departure , and since that would have been documented by the airline and TSA , can someone , anyone , tell me the logic behind calling out the bomb squad due to a report of someone seeing either a gun or gun case ! It makes no sense to me but then it does seem that law enforcement has been overreacting to a lot of things lately , this just but one example . Based on what little is disclosed in the article , it makes me wonder if the police reaction , to call in the bomb squad , was a total waste Anyway , the man was arrested on suspicion of brandishing a firearm . My guess would be that the man did what I have done , at an airport , after retrieving my checked luggage in which I had a legally checked firearm . That would be that he opened his luggage , took out the firearm case ( in the event it was a pistol ) and then maybe opened the case to take a peek inside to assure his firearm had not been stolen in transit . If it was a rifle case , then maybe he opened it to do likewise . Would anyone really expect you o just retrieve your luggage , containing a firearm , and leave the airport without checking to see it was still secure , what with the amount of items stolen from luggage by baggage handlers and by TSA personnel ! That would not be brandishing a weapon by any stretch of the imagination . Now , when I do it , I try to wait until everyone else has left the baggage carousel area around me , or I move away to a spot with no one able to look into my case . I do not handle the weapon at all . My guess is that the man in question may have checked on his gun with someone standing nearby who saw it or that someone just saw the gun case and flipped out . Of course , that is merely a guess on my part . As unlikely as it would be , it is possible that the man took the gun out of its case and waved it around ( which would be brandishing ) while standing in the baggage area but as I said I think that very unlikely . Merely opening a case to check on its status would not be brandishing under any interpretation of any brandishing laws nor would mere possession of a gun inside of a gun case be brandishing the firearm . I certainly would like to know more of the details of this case and maybe even see the video ( you can rest assured that the baggage claim area is under constant video surveillance ) of whatever it was that the man did that caused the other person to report him to police . My bet would be that if anyone should have been arrested it should have been the person who called this into the authorities and then maybe even the police offAll the best , While I was working , part time , over the past year and few months ( up until mid - October ) I had to put a lot of things I enjoyed doing on hold . I basically started a new working life and forgot about and abandoned too many of the joys of retired living . For instance , Long Island Firearms , a gun club to which I belong , holds a meet - up at a range pretty close to my home . The range nights are always Wednesdays and I worked most Wednesday nights over the past year . I did not work this Wednesday and was free to attend the meet - up . I have to say , I had a great time there . I got to reacquaint myself with several folks I met at the first range meet I attended and some whom I met while protesting the NY SAFE Act up in Albany . I also got to meet several new faces , at least new to me . I am guessing that about 20 of us showed up . We used two of the ranges , each range has five shooting points , so we had to take turns over the two ours of shooting time that we had available . I brought along my High Standard Duramatic M - 101 , Smith & Wesson Model 17K and my Remington R1 - 1911 . As usual , when at the range , I had a blast . Island Shooting Range of Brookhaven . Sadly , I was son my own . I had expected Brendan to tag along , to get in some practice shots before opening day of deer season next weekend , but alas he refused to drag his behind out of the sack even though I waited until about 1230 in the afternoon to finally take off . I am hoping he will at least make it to the indoor range to shoot the Remington 870 and the Marlin 336 before the hunting season kicks off . I shot both of those today and did fair to good . With the 870 , I had a 15 shot group the size of my hand from finger tips to heel of palm . Most of the shots were within a about a three inch group . That was at 50 yards from the bench and resting on sandbags . It was not great but certainly not too shabby . With the Marlin 336 , I guess my grouping at 50 yards were all within 2 . 5 to 3 " . I need some practice with both but shooting like that will get me a deer if I can get the sights of either gun on one of them . I also tried to bore sight my Marlin XS - 7 in . 308 but gave up after I realized that about 6 shots I had taken did not even hit the target backer . I am going to pick myself up a laser bore sight and sight it in with that . I would guess it will only three shots at most to have it zeroed in using a bore sight . I am thinking of picking up this one . Hopefully , I can find one locally . Nothing like procrastinating - I must have owned it for a year now without taking it to the range to sight it in until today . There is also nothing like waiting until the last minute to try to get it sighted in because there is no way I could get a laser bore sight shipped to me on time for sighting in before we leave on our hunting trip . Oh well , next year for this rifle and hunting but I again will try to sight it in soon . Tomorrow , I am may be going to a beer expo at Belmont Park . My son won two tickets but he will be working . Lucky for me , I am retired and don 't have a job , otherwise there could have been a good chance I would have had to work tomorrow too . On Sunday , I plan to go to yet another indoor range , this one about half way between my sister 's place and my house , to meet up with her and my nephew . His birthday was in October and he wanted to learn how to shoot so shooting lessons and some shooting accessories will be my birthday present for him . . . . and had I turned around and seen a camera taking my picture like this , I would have raised holy hell in the polling place and contacted the FBI to investigate who had violated the sanctity and secrecy of the polling place . It is ironic , a camera looking over folks shoulders as they vote and those little blue voting kiosks being called " privacy booths " by the poll workers ! If cameras , looking over your shoulder while you vote , are not intimidating then just what are they supposed to be . I don 't know if I could ever vote again in such an exposed booth . Fuck the government and or the press invading our privacy - especially in our homes and our polling places . Nothing is sacred anymore , ALTHOUGH OUR BALLOTS SHOULD BE SACRED AND SECRET . We need a major overhaul in everything political and to do with the government and we need it soon . . . . and several hours from now , when the polls are actually open , I am going to go to vote for some conservatives . Let me clarify that - I will be voting for the candidates who are closest to being real conservatives ( which is none to close here in Cuomoistan ) . Heaven help us . . . . I am going to make sure the holster maker charges me for it at the time I place the order and not at the time he starts working on it . A few days ago , I got an email from Brigade GunLeather telling me that , a holster I ordered back in March of this year , is finally being manufactured . Now , don 't get me wrong when I say it is finally being made , I am not at all upset about how long it took ; I expected it to be at least 4 to 6 months or so before they got around to putting it together , I just mean they are doing it at last ! Yes , I am saying it was a long wait but what the heck . The only thing bad about it having been such a long time before production began is that I was not charged when I first ordered it and had the money . Instead , they only charged my credit card now that they have started working on it . The thing is I do not have the money set aside right now . Well , I have the money but not to spend on a holster since I just quit the job that was earning me my good time money and since heating oil season just began and because my biannual home owners ' insurance will soon be due . Oh well , it will get paid because I will cut back somewhere else . Next time though , when I order something and have the money at the time I order it , that is when I will insist they charge my card for it . I am eagerly awaiting receiving the finished product , I can say that without a doubt . I got the email on October 28th and they say it will be about 4 weeks until it is shipped . The holster is the Brigade GunLeather M1 - Hoplon . It should look just like the one in the photo but will also be suede lined . It should carry my Remington R1 - 1911 nicely . Black Bart , ( aka : Charles E . Bowles , Charles E . Bol [ l ] es and Charles E . Bolton ) was born in England , but moved to the USA at the age of 2 , started his career of crime at the age of 46 . His career of crime spanned from July 26 , 1875 through November 3 , 1883 . He was known as Black Bart The Poet . When he committed the robberies he was dressed in a black bowler hat , a long black duster and had a flour sack ( with eyeholes cut into it ) over his head . He was afraid of horses , so much so that when he committed his crimes , he did so while afoot . He was a definitely a different sort of a stagecoach robber , using good manners , clear speech , and never uttering any foul language while robbing Wells Fargo of their loot . Although he armed himself with a shotgun , he never shot anyone while robbing them . His gentlemanly appearance and mannerisms , the fact he stopped and robbed stagecoaches while on foot , and two poems ( in which he did use foul language ) that he left behind after a couple of robberies gained him the infamy that lasts through today and will probably last for hundreds of years to come . He was shot during his last robbery and was captured not long after that . He admitted to his identity and to his crimes . Oddly enough , it is said that James B . Hume , the Wells Fargo detective who tracked him down , looked enough like Black Bart to have been his twin . Wells Fargo had him prosecuted only for the last of his crimes and he was sentenced to 6 years in San Quentin Prison . He was released from prison early , after 4 years of incarceration , due to good behavior . While in prison his health had turned bad . On his release , in January 1888 , he was asked by reporters if he planned to continue his life of crime to which he replied he would not . He was then asked if he would write more poetry to which he replied : " Now , didn 't you hear me say that I am through with crime ? " Shortly after his having been freed , he wrote to his wife ( whom he had left behind in the Midwest ) to tell her he was weary of being shadowed by Wells Fargo men and he wanted to get away from everyone . He was last seen on February 28 , 1888 in or around the Palace Hotel in Visalia , CA . In November 1888 , another Wells Fargo stagecoach was robbed by a bandit claiming to be Black Bart . The robber left what would have been Black Bart 's third poem at the scene of the crime ; however , it was determined that the handwriting did not match that on the previous two poems left behind by Black Bart . Thus the robber of that stagecoach , in 1888 , was believed to have been a copycat criminal . Said determination was made by none other than the detective who looked enough like Black Bart to have been his twin . One has to wonder , could that last crime in fact have been committed by Black Bart who , as you will remember from above , had been shot in his hand during his last known robbery in 1883 . Was it possible that the wound affected him as to make his handwriting change or that he had to use his other hand to write and that was what made the 1888 poem seem to have been written by another person ? I would love to know if he was shot in the hand with which he wrote and if so to have handwriting experts of today examine that last poem and compare it to the previous two . When I was a kid , and we played good guys and bad guys , Black Bart was my favorite of all the outlaws of the Old West . He remains so today , not that I advise anyone to emulate his life of crime . I guess his first poem has a lot to do with my attraction toward him in as much as it fits the condition of the working man today as opposed to the government full of fine haired sons of bitches : Use of any information or advice that I supply or to which I link is done at your own risk . Your use of my blog , in any manner , is your consent to hold me harmless and indemnify me and other sources mentioned herein , from any claim ( s ) against me , or those other sources , said claim ( s ) arising directly or indirectly from your use of this blog or any content therein or linked to it , or arising from your passing on of information from this blog to any party and their use or passing on of it ad infinitum . Furthermore , unless specifically stated , the photographs on this site may have been taken by others and belong to others ; however , I do not knowingly use copyrighted materials without the owner 's permission . If I find a photograph on the Internet , that I want to repost and it has no attribution of copyright on it , I use it in good faith as an image in the public domain . If you are the owner of that photograph and have a problem with me using it , notify me of the copyright and I will remove it at once . In such instances , please note , there was no way for me to know it was copyrighted material if you did not mark it so . As for zombies - bring em on ! I am ready to shoot em down or knock down depending on which type are they . The pic is of the shoot em down type but click on it to see the knock em down type .
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Let us know if there is a color option you would like added or a particular merchandise item you would like to see in the store . Have you had a chance to buy an item from our store ? Then we want to hear what you think about the merchandise you bought . If you would like to provide feedback / suggestions please post in here in the Store Feedback forum . Yeah , I saw that . . . I was more thinking of direct confrontations , like in the kitchen . Ghosts show you something hideous and tell you to leave - - what would happen if you hadn 't , and told them to get out ? What I wonder is if they have anything else to throw at you besides noises / visions ? Not that I 'm saying I would have done anything differently , but it makes me curious about how much these things can affect us directly , aside from sensory tricks . Yeah , I saw that . . . I was more thinking of direct confrontations , like in the kitchen . Ghosts show you something hideous and tell you to leave - - what would happen if you hadn 't , and told them to get out ? What I wonder is if they have anything else to throw at you besides noises / visions ? Not that I 'm saying I would have done anything differently , but it makes me curious about how much these things can affect us directly , aside from sensory tricks . My grandmother who is a deeply religious woman always tells of stories of the supernatural kind . Some how everytime a relative of her 's passes away she is affected by it or possesed . She says that usually the spirit or ghost has left something undone or unfinished and one should ask what it is IT wants ( like i 'll have the guts ) or tell it to leave you alone . Anyways , it was only 2 years ago that she had a really scary moment like this . One night my aunt gets a call from the Dominican Republic telling her that my grandmother was on her last breath . My aunt took the next flight to DR to go see her mother . When she got there she found my grandmother laying in bed cold as ice , and pale gray . She asked my grandmother what was wrong and my grandmother replied in a strange voice . My aunt said all the hairs in her body stood up when she heard my grandmother . My aunt knew there was something abnormal happening and asked what IT wanted . My Grandmother replied in a that strange voice asking for a glass of water to drink . When my aunt got the water she took it down in two gulps . The spirit that was possesing my grandmother then started to talked about how she was very thirsty at the time of her death and no one gave her a drink . The spirit then told my aunt to make sure Lita was looked after . ( Lita is a little girl my grandmother adopted because her mother had passed away shortly after she was born due to labor complications . ) My aunt realised who it was that was possesing my grandma and told it she was harming my grandmother and that no one would be able to look after Lita if my grandma was harmed . The spirit told my aunt she was not there to harm anyone , all she wanted was to be closed to her daughter . My aunt again asked her to leave because she was harming my grandma . The spirit said it was leaving , but asked my aunt to reguest a priest to say a mass in her name . my Aunt told her she would and my grandmother fell asleep and woke up the next day like nothing had happened . she could not remember anything that took place . Yeah , I saw that . . . I was more thinking of direct confrontations , like in the kitchen . Ghosts show you something hideous and tell you to leave - - what would happen if you hadn 't , and told them to get out ? What I wonder is if they have anything else to throw at you besides noises / visions ? Not that I 'm saying I would have done anything differently , but it makes me curious about how much these things can affect us directly , aside from sensory tricks . i had a couple little things freak me out at my old house in north portland . i shared a room with my bro , and my parents room was right across the hall . sometimes i 'd randomly wake up in the middle of the night , and i kno everyone was in bed , and i 'd hear the toilet flush down stairs ( only bathroom in the house ) and a couple times i saw some weird shadow 's in the hall . was in no rush to check them out tho . my mom and my bro remember hearing this really weird , kinda train like noise in the middle of the night tho . and there were train tracks down the road a ways , but the thing is , my aunt who lived across town heard the same noise , and there were no train tracks near her house . they got so loud one night that she actually went outside and looked to see what was makin it but found nothin . we 've tried to rationalize it for years but still dont kno what it was . i never heard those noises tho , so didn 't bother me too much . Anyway , I have a really really good story . It 's about a colonial farm in Brazil , some creepy stuff . . . It 's when my Dad and my grandmother were living there . there is this building on campus called " palma hall . " on the second floor lobby of this building is a small theater . now , years ago , it was said that a student actress committed suicide at the backstage because she didn 't get the lead role for a certain play . since then , performers have noted that there 's always ONE extra person when they portray crowds onstage . sometimes , when a scene becomes overly dramatic or melancholic , a loud crying voice could be heard , which the audience thinks is some sort of special sound effects . anyway , one time , a friend of mine watched a play with her classmate in the said theater . while watching , she noticed something floating above the performers , floating on the surface of the back curtains . it was a faint semblance of a face , smiling . it floated to the left , and to the right the whole time , then it floated upwards and disappeared . after the play , she asked her companion if she also saw it , and yes , they both did . now , this story also happened on the same building . a couple of my friends were talking one early evening on the third floor left wing of the building . so this is the layout - right wing , lobby , and left wing . stairs are found on both wings , and on the lobby . so , every evening , classes are usually held on the second and first floors of palma hall . the 3rd and 4th floor lights are then turned off to conserve power . now , my friends went up from the second floor to talk . one was having problems and was seeking advice . they settled on the stairway going to the fourth floor . now , while they were talking , they saw a woman in white clothes , staring at them from the lobby . at first they tried their best to ignore it . but it just stood there , observing them . afew minutes later , it leaned through a corridor wall , and slowly passed through it . Alright , so I said I was gonna share with you folks the scary story from my family . This happened to my father and grandmother . First off I have to start out with a little background so you can understand the setting . I am originally from Brazil and my great great grandfather founded the city where I used to live in , in the state of São Paulo ( southeast ) . He was a Count , appointed by Portuguese officials , responsible for a fair share of land in the southeastern part of the country . This is around 1800s . Brazil was colonized by the Portuguese ( yea , we don 't speak Spanish ) and a good amount of development , during colonial times , came from coffee plantations . My great great grandfather used to have a big coffee plantation in the farm , and he had slaves working for him in the different areas of the process ; picking , grounding the coffee . . . etc . Some of the slaves were abused and whipped , a common thing back then . . . The slaves used to live in their own tight quarters called " senzalas " in a building separated from the manor , and ones that were in punishment were sometimes in shackles - eventhough my GGgrandfather is said to have treated slaves better than most other Counts , there was obviously a fair share of suffering . Now . . . The Count had 14 children , one of them my great grandfather , which in turn had my grandfather , then my father and then me . The city was founded in around 1820 , so a lot of the children left for the city , while some remained at the farm , and others left the state or even the country . Fast forward about 160 years . My father and grandmother are staying at the farm manor for about 2 months visiting the area before they decide to buy a house . Here is where it starts to get odd . The old " senzalas , " where the slaves were kept , were turned into guest rooms ( for tourism ) , so that 's where they stayed during those 2 months . The main house , where the " royalty " used to sleep is a fairly accomodating building , but it is very creepy . There 's a room with paintings of the family that 's just scary , when I was little we used to have family reunions at this place and we 'd close all the windows , to make it dark , and have us ( the kids ) cross the room . . . That was already scary enough , I can 't imagine what would be like at night ! I mean this is the sort of place where every single wooden board makes a cracking noise , it 's very much a colonial style house - coffee plantation style . Apparently , when my father and grandmother were staying at the farm , there were strange sounds coming from the " senzalas " every other week . . . they would be cracking noises , sometimes whispers , or , get this shackles ! The first time my father told me this story , I was about 12 , it was hard to believe at first . He 's not a religious guy , nor does he believe in ghosts or anything . . . so he said he pretty much tried to ignore all of that , thinking it was all in his mind , my grandmother was the same way . This is how it goes . He said it was one of those nights where it 's just pouring rain , lightning and etc . . . and he and my grandmother were sleeping . It was around 3 o ' clock in the morning when my grandmother woke up with a scream , sweating . . . She told my dad she had a nightmare : That she was sleeping exactly as they were , and that when she woke up she heard shackles , getting louder and louder coming from the manor . They would get louder and louder with each repeating hit until she said she ran into the house and into the " Picture room " where the Count ( now dead for over 145 years ) was standing right next to the fireplace - man this is giving me so many chills in the back of my neck and through my spine right now - where he was leaning onto the fireplace . . . . . . . and thats when she woke up . About 15 years ago , my cousin had just finished her college exams in Taiwan and was looking at prospective schools . So she traveled all over the country visiting universities like most students do here . Being far away from home , she had to stay in a hotel with her parents . Well , one night , she wakes up in the middle of the night for whatever reason . But something 's strange about the room . As her eyes get adjusted to the darkness , she sees someone sitting at this dressing table . Its basically a small writing desk up against the wall and there 's a big beauty mirror on top of it . And it was positioned in such a way that you could see the bed in the mirror . Well , she sees this woman wearing a dark dress with polka dots . At first she thinks it 's her mom , but her parents are asleep in the other bed so it 's not possible . . . The woman 's skin was very pale and she just sat there slowly brushing her long dark hair . All the while she 's looking into the mirror and staring at my cousin intently . Of course my cousin is scared out of her mind and she slowly hides under the covers and shuts her eyes and forces herself to go to sleep . . . We didn 't really think anything of him until we watched him pass under a streetlight - and REMAIN a silhouette . We were only about 20 feet away when it happened , but whatever walked under that streetlight was simply a featureless , black cutout of where there should have been a person . As " it " walked by , you could hear the soft crunch of leaves and the shuffle of boots on concrete . After " it " passed the light cone of the street light , it simply vanished - including the footsteps . Story 2 : Fast forward one year from story # 1 and me and my same friend were playing outside past sunset at our old elementary school . There was a big grassy field which we used to play soccer that seperated the school and the houses across the street . Although there were no street lights on the side of the grassy field , there were lights on the same side as the houses . As we were riding our bikes around the school , we noticed that same distinct silhouetted figure walking along on the residential side of the street . My friend joked " Doesn 't that look kinda like that freaky shadow guy we saw last year ? " I thought the guy looked similar , but this was probably about 200 yards out or more so I couldn 't see much . However I agreed and cautioned a lot of joggers who would go out for their evening stroll after work . But just as I finished my sentence , the silhouetted figure turned away from the street and bulleted towards US . I 'd never seen something run so very fast across a field or anything since . Both me and my friend panicked and raced into the school parking lot to try to loose whatever followed us in the labyrinth of buildings . We as we were about to make it around the first corner of the first building we both saw the shadowy figure once again pass under several school lights without feature . As we rounded a corner it did not continue to turn torwards us and instead ran straight into the building . For lack of a better description , the figure simply disappeared into it . September 2001 ( pre 9 - 11 ) . I had just started my sixth semester in college and this was my second year living alone in my apartment . It was about 11pm and I had just spend about three hours surfing the web and instant messaging several of my friends . It was late and time for bed , so I turned off my computer and all the other lights in my single - bedroom apartment . It wasn 't pitch - black , but street lights could still make faint outlines of objects in my apartment . I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and did my thing , then walked out of my bathroom and took a step into my bedroom . Suddenly I heard a crack or a snap , that sounded like a tree branch breaking . In an instant my whole apartment was filled with thousands of fleks of crimson stars that pulsed between red , gold and silver . They passed through me , the walls , my TV , computer , my furniture , everything . For two seconds I stood in terror unaware of what to make of what I saw . Again the crack and it was gone . Now for the weird part : For the next two to three days day anything I put in or around my sink was either inverted or instantly relocated into any other part of my kitchen . Each time I 'd go into my kitchen , all my cereal boxes would be inverted , my dishwasher soap would be moved around , the mail would be on the counter or on the table . No pots or pans moved , nor did any of my cabinets open or close . August 2002 . This one was a given , but during my grandparent 's 50th Anniversary , we had a large family gathering at one of the hotels in downtown Ventura , CA . The hotel that I was staying at was rumored to be haunted . I had my own room , and throughout the night my door handle would reverberate every 20 - 30 seconds . Kinda took a while to get used to , but I slept through it . The really creepy thing was that each time I would go in and out of my room ALL the Windows and shades would alternate between open and closed . I made it a point to make sure that when I entered my bedroom to sleep , all the windows were shut . It was cold outside and I didn 't want to freeze myself to sleep . Thankfully they were still shut in the morning . March 6 , 04 my grandfather passed away at home with the entire family there the last hours of his life . After he passed , I couldnt deal with the stress , so i went in the tv room to be by myself and closed the door . I turned on the TV so i wouldnt hear the coroner discussing the family 's wishes , star trek TNG happened to be on . . . when the show first came out I was living with my grandparents so it was kinda a reminder of the past . . . A few minutes after watching the show , the directv receiver jumped channels to FX where X - files was on . . I figured no big deal ill just changed it back . . . back to ST : TNG no big . five minutes passed and it did it again . the whole time not showing any info on the screen . Did the usual checks , turned it off an on , covered the remote , put it in the other room and changed it on the box itself . Put it back on ST and bam changed again . . . The doors were closed , window and shades were shut . there was another remote in the house but it was on the other side of the house . . . I showed my sister and mom and they panicked . . . I went and told my grandmother , she laughed and she told me my grandfather hated star trek . Powered by vBulletin ® Version 4 . 2 . 2 Copyright © 2017 vBulletin Solutions , Inc . All rights reserved . vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2 . 6 . 3 ( Pro ) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd . vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2 . 2 . 2 ( Pro ) -
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Let us know if there is a color option you would like added or a particular merchandise item you would like to see in the store . Have you had a chance to buy an item from our store ? Then we want to hear what you think about the merchandise you bought . If you would like to provide feedback / suggestions please post in here in the Store Feedback forum . Yeah , I saw that . . . I was more thinking of direct confrontations , like in the kitchen . Ghosts show you something hideous and tell you to leave - - what would happen if you hadn 't , and told them to get out ? What I wonder is if they have anything else to throw at you besides noises / visions ? Not that I 'm saying I would have done anything differently , but it makes me curious about how much these things can affect us directly , aside from sensory tricks . Yeah , I saw that . . . I was more thinking of direct confrontations , like in the kitchen . Ghosts show you something hideous and tell you to leave - - what would happen if you hadn 't , and told them to get out ? What I wonder is if they have anything else to throw at you besides noises / visions ? Not that I 'm saying I would have done anything differently , but it makes me curious about how much these things can affect us directly , aside from sensory tricks . My grandmother who is a deeply religious woman always tells of stories of the supernatural kind . Some how everytime a relative of her 's passes away she is affected by it or possesed . She says that usually the spirit or ghost has left something undone or unfinished and one should ask what it is IT wants ( like i 'll have the guts ) or tell it to leave you alone . Anyways , it was only 2 years ago that she had a really scary moment like this . One night my aunt gets a call from the Dominican Republic telling her that my grandmother was on her last breath . My aunt took the next flight to DR to go see her mother . When she got there she found my grandmother laying in bed cold as ice , and pale gray . She asked my grandmother what was wrong and my grandmother replied in a strange voice . My aunt said all the hairs in her body stood up when she heard my grandmother . My aunt knew there was something abnormal happening and asked what IT wanted . My Grandmother replied in a that strange voice asking for a glass of water to drink . When my aunt got the water she took it down in two gulps . The spirit that was possesing my grandmother then started to talked about how she was very thirsty at the time of her death and no one gave her a drink . The spirit then told my aunt to make sure Lita was looked after . ( Lita is a little girl my grandmother adopted because her mother had passed away shortly after she was born due to labor complications . ) My aunt realised who it was that was possesing my grandma and told it she was harming my grandmother and that no one would be able to look after Lita if my grandma was harmed . The spirit told my aunt she was not there to harm anyone , all she wanted was to be closed to her daughter . My aunt again asked her to leave because she was harming my grandma . The spirit said it was leaving , but asked my aunt to reguest a priest to say a mass in her name . my Aunt told her she would and my grandmother fell asleep and woke up the next day like nothing had happened . she could not remember anything that took place . Yeah , I saw that . . . I was more thinking of direct confrontations , like in the kitchen . Ghosts show you something hideous and tell you to leave - - what would happen if you hadn 't , and told them to get out ? What I wonder is if they have anything else to throw at you besides noises / visions ? Not that I 'm saying I would have done anything differently , but it makes me curious about how much these things can affect us directly , aside from sensory tricks . i had a couple little things freak me out at my old house in north portland . i shared a room with my bro , and my parents room was right across the hall . sometimes i 'd randomly wake up in the middle of the night , and i kno everyone was in bed , and i 'd hear the toilet flush down stairs ( only bathroom in the house ) and a couple times i saw some weird shadow 's in the hall . was in no rush to check them out tho . my mom and my bro remember hearing this really weird , kinda train like noise in the middle of the night tho . and there were train tracks down the road a ways , but the thing is , my aunt who lived across town heard the same noise , and there were no train tracks near her house . they got so loud one night that she actually went outside and looked to see what was makin it but found nothin . we 've tried to rationalize it for years but still dont kno what it was . i never heard those noises tho , so didn 't bother me too much . Anyway , I have a really really good story . It 's about a colonial farm in Brazil , some creepy stuff . . . It 's when my Dad and my grandmother were living there . there is this building on campus called " palma hall . " on the second floor lobby of this building is a small theater . now , years ago , it was said that a student actress committed suicide at the backstage because she didn 't get the lead role for a certain play . since then , performers have noted that there 's always ONE extra person when they portray crowds onstage . sometimes , when a scene becomes overly dramatic or melancholic , a loud crying voice could be heard , which the audience thinks is some sort of special sound effects . anyway , one time , a friend of mine watched a play with her classmate in the said theater . while watching , she noticed something floating above the performers , floating on the surface of the back curtains . it was a faint semblance of a face , smiling . it floated to the left , and to the right the whole time , then it floated upwards and disappeared . after the play , she asked her companion if she also saw it , and yes , they both did . now , this story also happened on the same building . a couple of my friends were talking one early evening on the third floor left wing of the building . so this is the layout - right wing , lobby , and left wing . stairs are found on both wings , and on the lobby . so , every evening , classes are usually held on the second and first floors of palma hall . the 3rd and 4th floor lights are then turned off to conserve power . now , my friends went up from the second floor to talk . one was having problems and was seeking advice . they settled on the stairway going to the fourth floor . now , while they were talking , they saw a woman in white clothes , staring at them from the lobby . at first they tried their best to ignore it . but it just stood there , observing them . afew minutes later , it leaned through a corridor wall , and slowly passed through it . Alright , so I said I was gonna share with you folks the scary story from my family . This happened to my father and grandmother . First off I have to start out with a little background so you can understand the setting . I am originally from Brazil and my great great grandfather founded the city where I used to live in , in the state of São Paulo ( southeast ) . He was a Count , appointed by Portuguese officials , responsible for a fair share of land in the southeastern part of the country . This is around 1800s . Brazil was colonized by the Portuguese ( yea , we don 't speak Spanish ) and a good amount of development , during colonial times , came from coffee plantations . My great great grandfather used to have a big coffee plantation in the farm , and he had slaves working for him in the different areas of the process ; picking , grounding the coffee . . . etc . Some of the slaves were abused and whipped , a common thing back then . . . The slaves used to live in their own tight quarters called " senzalas " in a building separated from the manor , and ones that were in punishment were sometimes in shackles - eventhough my GGgrandfather is said to have treated slaves better than most other Counts , there was obviously a fair share of suffering . Now . . . The Count had 14 children , one of them my great grandfather , which in turn had my grandfather , then my father and then me . The city was founded in around 1820 , so a lot of the children left for the city , while some remained at the farm , and others left the state or even the country . Fast forward about 160 years . My father and grandmother are staying at the farm manor for about 2 months visiting the area before they decide to buy a house . Here is where it starts to get odd . The old " senzalas , " where the slaves were kept , were turned into guest rooms ( for tourism ) , so that 's where they stayed during those 2 months . The main house , where the " royalty " used to sleep is a fairly accomodating building , but it is very creepy . There 's a room with paintings of the family that 's just scary , when I was little we used to have family reunions at this place and we 'd close all the windows , to make it dark , and have us ( the kids ) cross the room . . . That was already scary enough , I can 't imagine what would be like at night ! I mean this is the sort of place where every single wooden board makes a cracking noise , it 's very much a colonial style house - coffee plantation style . Apparently , when my father and grandmother were staying at the farm , there were strange sounds coming from the " senzalas " every other week . . . they would be cracking noises , sometimes whispers , or , get this shackles ! The first time my father told me this story , I was about 12 , it was hard to believe at first . He 's not a religious guy , nor does he believe in ghosts or anything . . . so he said he pretty much tried to ignore all of that , thinking it was all in his mind , my grandmother was the same way . This is how it goes . He said it was one of those nights where it 's just pouring rain , lightning and etc . . . and he and my grandmother were sleeping . It was around 3 o ' clock in the morning when my grandmother woke up with a scream , sweating . . . She told my dad she had a nightmare : That she was sleeping exactly as they were , and that when she woke up she heard shackles , getting louder and louder coming from the manor . They would get louder and louder with each repeating hit until she said she ran into the house and into the " Picture room " where the Count ( now dead for over 145 years ) was standing right next to the fireplace - man this is giving me so many chills in the back of my neck and through my spine right now - where he was leaning onto the fireplace . . . . . . . and thats when she woke up . About 15 years ago , my cousin had just finished her college exams in Taiwan and was looking at prospective schools . So she traveled all over the country visiting universities like most students do here . Being far away from home , she had to stay in a hotel with her parents . Well , one night , she wakes up in the middle of the night for whatever reason . But something 's strange about the room . As her eyes get adjusted to the darkness , she sees someone sitting at this dressing table . Its basically a small writing desk up against the wall and there 's a big beauty mirror on top of it . And it was positioned in such a way that you could see the bed in the mirror . Well , she sees this woman wearing a dark dress with polka dots . At first she thinks it 's her mom , but her parents are asleep in the other bed so it 's not possible . . . The woman 's skin was very pale and she just sat there slowly brushing her long dark hair . All the while she 's looking into the mirror and staring at my cousin intently . Of course my cousin is scared out of her mind and she slowly hides under the covers and shuts her eyes and forces herself to go to sleep . . . We didn 't really think anything of him until we watched him pass under a streetlight - and REMAIN a silhouette . We were only about 20 feet away when it happened , but whatever walked under that streetlight was simply a featureless , black cutout of where there should have been a person . As " it " walked by , you could hear the soft crunch of leaves and the shuffle of boots on concrete . After " it " passed the light cone of the street light , it simply vanished - including the footsteps . Story 2 : Fast forward one year from story # 1 and me and my same friend were playing outside past sunset at our old elementary school . There was a big grassy field which we used to play soccer that seperated the school and the houses across the street . Although there were no street lights on the side of the grassy field , there were lights on the same side as the houses . As we were riding our bikes around the school , we noticed that same distinct silhouetted figure walking along on the residential side of the street . My friend joked " Doesn 't that look kinda like that freaky shadow guy we saw last year ? " I thought the guy looked similar , but this was probably about 200 yards out or more so I couldn 't see much . However I agreed and cautioned a lot of joggers who would go out for their evening stroll after work . But just as I finished my sentence , the silhouetted figure turned away from the street and bulleted towards US . I 'd never seen something run so very fast across a field or anything since . Both me and my friend panicked and raced into the school parking lot to try to loose whatever followed us in the labyrinth of buildings . We as we were about to make it around the first corner of the first building we both saw the shadowy figure once again pass under several school lights without feature . As we rounded a corner it did not continue to turn torwards us and instead ran straight into the building . For lack of a better description , the figure simply disappeared into it . September 2001 ( pre 9 - 11 ) . I had just started my sixth semester in college and this was my second year living alone in my apartment . It was about 11pm and I had just spend about three hours surfing the web and instant messaging several of my friends . It was late and time for bed , so I turned off my computer and all the other lights in my single - bedroom apartment . It wasn 't pitch - black , but street lights could still make faint outlines of objects in my apartment . I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and did my thing , then walked out of my bathroom and took a step into my bedroom . Suddenly I heard a crack or a snap , that sounded like a tree branch breaking . In an instant my whole apartment was filled with thousands of fleks of crimson stars that pulsed between red , gold and silver . They passed through me , the walls , my TV , computer , my furniture , everything . For two seconds I stood in terror unaware of what to make of what I saw . Again the crack and it was gone . Now for the weird part : For the next two to three days day anything I put in or around my sink was either inverted or instantly relocated into any other part of my kitchen . Each time I 'd go into my kitchen , all my cereal boxes would be inverted , my dishwasher soap would be moved around , the mail would be on the counter or on the table . No pots or pans moved , nor did any of my cabinets open or close . August 2002 . This one was a given , but during my grandparent 's 50th Anniversary , we had a large family gathering at one of the hotels in downtown Ventura , CA . The hotel that I was staying at was rumored to be haunted . I had my own room , and throughout the night my door handle would reverberate every 20 - 30 seconds . Kinda took a while to get used to , but I slept through it . The really creepy thing was that each time I would go in and out of my room ALL the Windows and shades would alternate between open and closed . I made it a point to make sure that when I entered my bedroom to sleep , all the windows were shut . It was cold outside and I didn 't want to freeze myself to sleep . Thankfully they were still shut in the morning . March 6 , 04 my grandfather passed away at home with the entire family there the last hours of his life . After he passed , I couldnt deal with the stress , so i went in the tv room to be by myself and closed the door . I turned on the TV so i wouldnt hear the coroner discussing the family 's wishes , star trek TNG happened to be on . . . when the show first came out I was living with my grandparents so it was kinda a reminder of the past . . . A few minutes after watching the show , the directv receiver jumped channels to FX where X - files was on . . I figured no big deal ill just changed it back . . . back to ST : TNG no big . five minutes passed and it did it again . the whole time not showing any info on the screen . Did the usual checks , turned it off an on , covered the remote , put it in the other room and changed it on the box itself . Put it back on ST and bam changed again . . . The doors were closed , window and shades were shut . there was another remote in the house but it was on the other side of the house . . . I showed my sister and mom and they panicked . . . I went and told my grandmother , she laughed and she told me my grandfather hated star trek . Powered by vBulletin ® Version 4 . 2 . 2 Copyright © 2017 vBulletin Solutions , Inc . All rights reserved . vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2 . 6 . 3 ( Pro ) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd . vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2 . 2 . 2 ( Pro ) -
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Let us know if there is a color option you would like added or a particular merchandise item you would like to see in the store . Have you had a chance to buy an item from our store ? Then we want to hear what you think about the merchandise you bought . If you would like to provide feedback / suggestions please post in here in the Store Feedback forum . Yeah , I saw that . . . I was more thinking of direct confrontations , like in the kitchen . Ghosts show you something hideous and tell you to leave - - what would happen if you hadn 't , and told them to get out ? What I wonder is if they have anything else to throw at you besides noises / visions ? Not that I 'm saying I would have done anything differently , but it makes me curious about how much these things can affect us directly , aside from sensory tricks . Yeah , I saw that . . . I was more thinking of direct confrontations , like in the kitchen . Ghosts show you something hideous and tell you to leave - - what would happen if you hadn 't , and told them to get out ? What I wonder is if they have anything else to throw at you besides noises / visions ? Not that I 'm saying I would have done anything differently , but it makes me curious about how much these things can affect us directly , aside from sensory tricks . My grandmother who is a deeply religious woman always tells of stories of the supernatural kind . Some how everytime a relative of her 's passes away she is affected by it or possesed . She says that usually the spirit or ghost has left something undone or unfinished and one should ask what it is IT wants ( like i 'll have the guts ) or tell it to leave you alone . Anyways , it was only 2 years ago that she had a really scary moment like this . One night my aunt gets a call from the Dominican Republic telling her that my grandmother was on her last breath . My aunt took the next flight to DR to go see her mother . When she got there she found my grandmother laying in bed cold as ice , and pale gray . She asked my grandmother what was wrong and my grandmother replied in a strange voice . My aunt said all the hairs in her body stood up when she heard my grandmother . My aunt knew there was something abnormal happening and asked what IT wanted . My Grandmother replied in a that strange voice asking for a glass of water to drink . When my aunt got the water she took it down in two gulps . The spirit that was possesing my grandmother then started to talked about how she was very thirsty at the time of her death and no one gave her a drink . The spirit then told my aunt to make sure Lita was looked after . ( Lita is a little girl my grandmother adopted because her mother had passed away shortly after she was born due to labor complications . ) My aunt realised who it was that was possesing my grandma and told it she was harming my grandmother and that no one would be able to look after Lita if my grandma was harmed . The spirit told my aunt she was not there to harm anyone , all she wanted was to be closed to her daughter . My aunt again asked her to leave because she was harming my grandma . The spirit said it was leaving , but asked my aunt to reguest a priest to say a mass in her name . my Aunt told her she would and my grandmother fell asleep and woke up the next day like nothing had happened . she could not remember anything that took place . Yeah , I saw that . . . I was more thinking of direct confrontations , like in the kitchen . Ghosts show you something hideous and tell you to leave - - what would happen if you hadn 't , and told them to get out ? What I wonder is if they have anything else to throw at you besides noises / visions ? Not that I 'm saying I would have done anything differently , but it makes me curious about how much these things can affect us directly , aside from sensory tricks . i had a couple little things freak me out at my old house in north portland . i shared a room with my bro , and my parents room was right across the hall . sometimes i 'd randomly wake up in the middle of the night , and i kno everyone was in bed , and i 'd hear the toilet flush down stairs ( only bathroom in the house ) and a couple times i saw some weird shadow 's in the hall . was in no rush to check them out tho . my mom and my bro remember hearing this really weird , kinda train like noise in the middle of the night tho . and there were train tracks down the road a ways , but the thing is , my aunt who lived across town heard the same noise , and there were no train tracks near her house . they got so loud one night that she actually went outside and looked to see what was makin it but found nothin . we 've tried to rationalize it for years but still dont kno what it was . i never heard those noises tho , so didn 't bother me too much . Anyway , I have a really really good story . It 's about a colonial farm in Brazil , some creepy stuff . . . It 's when my Dad and my grandmother were living there . there is this building on campus called " palma hall . " on the second floor lobby of this building is a small theater . now , years ago , it was said that a student actress committed suicide at the backstage because she didn 't get the lead role for a certain play . since then , performers have noted that there 's always ONE extra person when they portray crowds onstage . sometimes , when a scene becomes overly dramatic or melancholic , a loud crying voice could be heard , which the audience thinks is some sort of special sound effects . anyway , one time , a friend of mine watched a play with her classmate in the said theater . while watching , she noticed something floating above the performers , floating on the surface of the back curtains . it was a faint semblance of a face , smiling . it floated to the left , and to the right the whole time , then it floated upwards and disappeared . after the play , she asked her companion if she also saw it , and yes , they both did . now , this story also happened on the same building . a couple of my friends were talking one early evening on the third floor left wing of the building . so this is the layout - right wing , lobby , and left wing . stairs are found on both wings , and on the lobby . so , every evening , classes are usually held on the second and first floors of palma hall . the 3rd and 4th floor lights are then turned off to conserve power . now , my friends went up from the second floor to talk . one was having problems and was seeking advice . they settled on the stairway going to the fourth floor . now , while they were talking , they saw a woman in white clothes , staring at them from the lobby . at first they tried their best to ignore it . but it just stood there , observing them . afew minutes later , it leaned through a corridor wall , and slowly passed through it . Alright , so I said I was gonna share with you folks the scary story from my family . This happened to my father and grandmother . First off I have to start out with a little background so you can understand the setting . I am originally from Brazil and my great great grandfather founded the city where I used to live in , in the state of São Paulo ( southeast ) . He was a Count , appointed by Portuguese officials , responsible for a fair share of land in the southeastern part of the country . This is around 1800s . Brazil was colonized by the Portuguese ( yea , we don 't speak Spanish ) and a good amount of development , during colonial times , came from coffee plantations . My great great grandfather used to have a big coffee plantation in the farm , and he had slaves working for him in the different areas of the process ; picking , grounding the coffee . . . etc . Some of the slaves were abused and whipped , a common thing back then . . . The slaves used to live in their own tight quarters called " senzalas " in a building separated from the manor , and ones that were in punishment were sometimes in shackles - eventhough my GGgrandfather is said to have treated slaves better than most other Counts , there was obviously a fair share of suffering . Now . . . The Count had 14 children , one of them my great grandfather , which in turn had my grandfather , then my father and then me . The city was founded in around 1820 , so a lot of the children left for the city , while some remained at the farm , and others left the state or even the country . Fast forward about 160 years . My father and grandmother are staying at the farm manor for about 2 months visiting the area before they decide to buy a house . Here is where it starts to get odd . The old " senzalas , " where the slaves were kept , were turned into guest rooms ( for tourism ) , so that 's where they stayed during those 2 months . The main house , where the " royalty " used to sleep is a fairly accomodating building , but it is very creepy . There 's a room with paintings of the family that 's just scary , when I was little we used to have family reunions at this place and we 'd close all the windows , to make it dark , and have us ( the kids ) cross the room . . . That was already scary enough , I can 't imagine what would be like at night ! I mean this is the sort of place where every single wooden board makes a cracking noise , it 's very much a colonial style house - coffee plantation style . Apparently , when my father and grandmother were staying at the farm , there were strange sounds coming from the " senzalas " every other week . . . they would be cracking noises , sometimes whispers , or , get this shackles ! The first time my father told me this story , I was about 12 , it was hard to believe at first . He 's not a religious guy , nor does he believe in ghosts or anything . . . so he said he pretty much tried to ignore all of that , thinking it was all in his mind , my grandmother was the same way . This is how it goes . He said it was one of those nights where it 's just pouring rain , lightning and etc . . . and he and my grandmother were sleeping . It was around 3 o ' clock in the morning when my grandmother woke up with a scream , sweating . . . She told my dad she had a nightmare : That she was sleeping exactly as they were , and that when she woke up she heard shackles , getting louder and louder coming from the manor . They would get louder and louder with each repeating hit until she said she ran into the house and into the " Picture room " where the Count ( now dead for over 145 years ) was standing right next to the fireplace - man this is giving me so many chills in the back of my neck and through my spine right now - where he was leaning onto the fireplace . . . . . . . and thats when she woke up . About 15 years ago , my cousin had just finished her college exams in Taiwan and was looking at prospective schools . So she traveled all over the country visiting universities like most students do here . Being far away from home , she had to stay in a hotel with her parents . Well , one night , she wakes up in the middle of the night for whatever reason . But something 's strange about the room . As her eyes get adjusted to the darkness , she sees someone sitting at this dressing table . Its basically a small writing desk up against the wall and there 's a big beauty mirror on top of it . And it was positioned in such a way that you could see the bed in the mirror . Well , she sees this woman wearing a dark dress with polka dots . At first she thinks it 's her mom , but her parents are asleep in the other bed so it 's not possible . . . The woman 's skin was very pale and she just sat there slowly brushing her long dark hair . All the while she 's looking into the mirror and staring at my cousin intently . Of course my cousin is scared out of her mind and she slowly hides under the covers and shuts her eyes and forces herself to go to sleep . . . We didn 't really think anything of him until we watched him pass under a streetlight - and REMAIN a silhouette . We were only about 20 feet away when it happened , but whatever walked under that streetlight was simply a featureless , black cutout of where there should have been a person . As " it " walked by , you could hear the soft crunch of leaves and the shuffle of boots on concrete . After " it " passed the light cone of the street light , it simply vanished - including the footsteps . Story 2 : Fast forward one year from story # 1 and me and my same friend were playing outside past sunset at our old elementary school . There was a big grassy field which we used to play soccer that seperated the school and the houses across the street . Although there were no street lights on the side of the grassy field , there were lights on the same side as the houses . As we were riding our bikes around the school , we noticed that same distinct silhouetted figure walking along on the residential side of the street . My friend joked " Doesn 't that look kinda like that freaky shadow guy we saw last year ? " I thought the guy looked similar , but this was probably about 200 yards out or more so I couldn 't see much . However I agreed and cautioned a lot of joggers who would go out for their evening stroll after work . But just as I finished my sentence , the silhouetted figure turned away from the street and bulleted towards US . I 'd never seen something run so very fast across a field or anything since . Both me and my friend panicked and raced into the school parking lot to try to loose whatever followed us in the labyrinth of buildings . We as we were about to make it around the first corner of the first building we both saw the shadowy figure once again pass under several school lights without feature . As we rounded a corner it did not continue to turn torwards us and instead ran straight into the building . For lack of a better description , the figure simply disappeared into it . September 2001 ( pre 9 - 11 ) . I had just started my sixth semester in college and this was my second year living alone in my apartment . It was about 11pm and I had just spend about three hours surfing the web and instant messaging several of my friends . It was late and time for bed , so I turned off my computer and all the other lights in my single - bedroom apartment . It wasn 't pitch - black , but street lights could still make faint outlines of objects in my apartment . I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and did my thing , then walked out of my bathroom and took a step into my bedroom . Suddenly I heard a crack or a snap , that sounded like a tree branch breaking . In an instant my whole apartment was filled with thousands of fleks of crimson stars that pulsed between red , gold and silver . They passed through me , the walls , my TV , computer , my furniture , everything . For two seconds I stood in terror unaware of what to make of what I saw . Again the crack and it was gone . Now for the weird part : For the next two to three days day anything I put in or around my sink was either inverted or instantly relocated into any other part of my kitchen . Each time I 'd go into my kitchen , all my cereal boxes would be inverted , my dishwasher soap would be moved around , the mail would be on the counter or on the table . No pots or pans moved , nor did any of my cabinets open or close . August 2002 . This one was a given , but during my grandparent 's 50th Anniversary , we had a large family gathering at one of the hotels in downtown Ventura , CA . The hotel that I was staying at was rumored to be haunted . I had my own room , and throughout the night my door handle would reverberate every 20 - 30 seconds . Kinda took a while to get used to , but I slept through it . The really creepy thing was that each time I would go in and out of my room ALL the Windows and shades would alternate between open and closed . I made it a point to make sure that when I entered my bedroom to sleep , all the windows were shut . It was cold outside and I didn 't want to freeze myself to sleep . Thankfully they were still shut in the morning . March 6 , 04 my grandfather passed away at home with the entire family there the last hours of his life . After he passed , I couldnt deal with the stress , so i went in the tv room to be by myself and closed the door . I turned on the TV so i wouldnt hear the coroner discussing the family 's wishes , star trek TNG happened to be on . . . when the show first came out I was living with my grandparents so it was kinda a reminder of the past . . . A few minutes after watching the show , the directv receiver jumped channels to FX where X - files was on . . I figured no big deal ill just changed it back . . . back to ST : TNG no big . five minutes passed and it did it again . the whole time not showing any info on the screen . Did the usual checks , turned it off an on , covered the remote , put it in the other room and changed it on the box itself . Put it back on ST and bam changed again . . . The doors were closed , window and shades were shut . there was another remote in the house but it was on the other side of the house . . . I showed my sister and mom and they panicked . . . I went and told my grandmother , she laughed and she told me my grandfather hated star trek . Powered by vBulletin ® Version 4 . 2 . 2 Copyright © 2017 vBulletin Solutions , Inc . All rights reserved . vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2 . 6 . 3 ( Pro ) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd . vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2 . 2 . 2 ( Pro ) -
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Let us know if there is a color option you would like added or a particular merchandise item you would like to see in the store . Have you had a chance to buy an item from our store ? Then we want to hear what you think about the merchandise you bought . If you would like to provide feedback / suggestions please post in here in the Store Feedback forum . Yeah , I saw that . . . I was more thinking of direct confrontations , like in the kitchen . Ghosts show you something hideous and tell you to leave - - what would happen if you hadn 't , and told them to get out ? What I wonder is if they have anything else to throw at you besides noises / visions ? Not that I 'm saying I would have done anything differently , but it makes me curious about how much these things can affect us directly , aside from sensory tricks . Yeah , I saw that . . . I was more thinking of direct confrontations , like in the kitchen . Ghosts show you something hideous and tell you to leave - - what would happen if you hadn 't , and told them to get out ? What I wonder is if they have anything else to throw at you besides noises / visions ? Not that I 'm saying I would have done anything differently , but it makes me curious about how much these things can affect us directly , aside from sensory tricks . My grandmother who is a deeply religious woman always tells of stories of the supernatural kind . Some how everytime a relative of her 's passes away she is affected by it or possesed . She says that usually the spirit or ghost has left something undone or unfinished and one should ask what it is IT wants ( like i 'll have the guts ) or tell it to leave you alone . Anyways , it was only 2 years ago that she had a really scary moment like this . One night my aunt gets a call from the Dominican Republic telling her that my grandmother was on her last breath . My aunt took the next flight to DR to go see her mother . When she got there she found my grandmother laying in bed cold as ice , and pale gray . She asked my grandmother what was wrong and my grandmother replied in a strange voice . My aunt said all the hairs in her body stood up when she heard my grandmother . My aunt knew there was something abnormal happening and asked what IT wanted . My Grandmother replied in a that strange voice asking for a glass of water to drink . When my aunt got the water she took it down in two gulps . The spirit that was possesing my grandmother then started to talked about how she was very thirsty at the time of her death and no one gave her a drink . The spirit then told my aunt to make sure Lita was looked after . ( Lita is a little girl my grandmother adopted because her mother had passed away shortly after she was born due to labor complications . ) My aunt realised who it was that was possesing my grandma and told it she was harming my grandmother and that no one would be able to look after Lita if my grandma was harmed . The spirit told my aunt she was not there to harm anyone , all she wanted was to be closed to her daughter . My aunt again asked her to leave because she was harming my grandma . The spirit said it was leaving , but asked my aunt to reguest a priest to say a mass in her name . my Aunt told her she would and my grandmother fell asleep and woke up the next day like nothing had happened . she could not remember anything that took place . Yeah , I saw that . . . I was more thinking of direct confrontations , like in the kitchen . Ghosts show you something hideous and tell you to leave - - what would happen if you hadn 't , and told them to get out ? What I wonder is if they have anything else to throw at you besides noises / visions ? Not that I 'm saying I would have done anything differently , but it makes me curious about how much these things can affect us directly , aside from sensory tricks . i had a couple little things freak me out at my old house in north portland . i shared a room with my bro , and my parents room was right across the hall . sometimes i 'd randomly wake up in the middle of the night , and i kno everyone was in bed , and i 'd hear the toilet flush down stairs ( only bathroom in the house ) and a couple times i saw some weird shadow 's in the hall . was in no rush to check them out tho . my mom and my bro remember hearing this really weird , kinda train like noise in the middle of the night tho . and there were train tracks down the road a ways , but the thing is , my aunt who lived across town heard the same noise , and there were no train tracks near her house . they got so loud one night that she actually went outside and looked to see what was makin it but found nothin . we 've tried to rationalize it for years but still dont kno what it was . i never heard those noises tho , so didn 't bother me too much . Anyway , I have a really really good story . It 's about a colonial farm in Brazil , some creepy stuff . . . It 's when my Dad and my grandmother were living there . there is this building on campus called " palma hall . " on the second floor lobby of this building is a small theater . now , years ago , it was said that a student actress committed suicide at the backstage because she didn 't get the lead role for a certain play . since then , performers have noted that there 's always ONE extra person when they portray crowds onstage . sometimes , when a scene becomes overly dramatic or melancholic , a loud crying voice could be heard , which the audience thinks is some sort of special sound effects . anyway , one time , a friend of mine watched a play with her classmate in the said theater . while watching , she noticed something floating above the performers , floating on the surface of the back curtains . it was a faint semblance of a face , smiling . it floated to the left , and to the right the whole time , then it floated upwards and disappeared . after the play , she asked her companion if she also saw it , and yes , they both did . now , this story also happened on the same building . a couple of my friends were talking one early evening on the third floor left wing of the building . so this is the layout - right wing , lobby , and left wing . stairs are found on both wings , and on the lobby . so , every evening , classes are usually held on the second and first floors of palma hall . the 3rd and 4th floor lights are then turned off to conserve power . now , my friends went up from the second floor to talk . one was having problems and was seeking advice . they settled on the stairway going to the fourth floor . now , while they were talking , they saw a woman in white clothes , staring at them from the lobby . at first they tried their best to ignore it . but it just stood there , observing them . afew minutes later , it leaned through a corridor wall , and slowly passed through it . Alright , so I said I was gonna share with you folks the scary story from my family . This happened to my father and grandmother . First off I have to start out with a little background so you can understand the setting . I am originally from Brazil and my great great grandfather founded the city where I used to live in , in the state of São Paulo ( southeast ) . He was a Count , appointed by Portuguese officials , responsible for a fair share of land in the southeastern part of the country . This is around 1800s . Brazil was colonized by the Portuguese ( yea , we don 't speak Spanish ) and a good amount of development , during colonial times , came from coffee plantations . My great great grandfather used to have a big coffee plantation in the farm , and he had slaves working for him in the different areas of the process ; picking , grounding the coffee . . . etc . Some of the slaves were abused and whipped , a common thing back then . . . The slaves used to live in their own tight quarters called " senzalas " in a building separated from the manor , and ones that were in punishment were sometimes in shackles - eventhough my GGgrandfather is said to have treated slaves better than most other Counts , there was obviously a fair share of suffering . Now . . . The Count had 14 children , one of them my great grandfather , which in turn had my grandfather , then my father and then me . The city was founded in around 1820 , so a lot of the children left for the city , while some remained at the farm , and others left the state or even the country . Fast forward about 160 years . My father and grandmother are staying at the farm manor for about 2 months visiting the area before they decide to buy a house . Here is where it starts to get odd . The old " senzalas , " where the slaves were kept , were turned into guest rooms ( for tourism ) , so that 's where they stayed during those 2 months . The main house , where the " royalty " used to sleep is a fairly accomodating building , but it is very creepy . There 's a room with paintings of the family that 's just scary , when I was little we used to have family reunions at this place and we 'd close all the windows , to make it dark , and have us ( the kids ) cross the room . . . That was already scary enough , I can 't imagine what would be like at night ! I mean this is the sort of place where every single wooden board makes a cracking noise , it 's very much a colonial style house - coffee plantation style . Apparently , when my father and grandmother were staying at the farm , there were strange sounds coming from the " senzalas " every other week . . . they would be cracking noises , sometimes whispers , or , get this shackles ! The first time my father told me this story , I was about 12 , it was hard to believe at first . He 's not a religious guy , nor does he believe in ghosts or anything . . . so he said he pretty much tried to ignore all of that , thinking it was all in his mind , my grandmother was the same way . This is how it goes . He said it was one of those nights where it 's just pouring rain , lightning and etc . . . and he and my grandmother were sleeping . It was around 3 o ' clock in the morning when my grandmother woke up with a scream , sweating . . . She told my dad she had a nightmare : That she was sleeping exactly as they were , and that when she woke up she heard shackles , getting louder and louder coming from the manor . They would get louder and louder with each repeating hit until she said she ran into the house and into the " Picture room " where the Count ( now dead for over 145 years ) was standing right next to the fireplace - man this is giving me so many chills in the back of my neck and through my spine right now - where he was leaning onto the fireplace . . . . . . . and thats when she woke up . About 15 years ago , my cousin had just finished her college exams in Taiwan and was looking at prospective schools . So she traveled all over the country visiting universities like most students do here . Being far away from home , she had to stay in a hotel with her parents . Well , one night , she wakes up in the middle of the night for whatever reason . But something 's strange about the room . As her eyes get adjusted to the darkness , she sees someone sitting at this dressing table . Its basically a small writing desk up against the wall and there 's a big beauty mirror on top of it . And it was positioned in such a way that you could see the bed in the mirror . Well , she sees this woman wearing a dark dress with polka dots . At first she thinks it 's her mom , but her parents are asleep in the other bed so it 's not possible . . . The woman 's skin was very pale and she just sat there slowly brushing her long dark hair . All the while she 's looking into the mirror and staring at my cousin intently . Of course my cousin is scared out of her mind and she slowly hides under the covers and shuts her eyes and forces herself to go to sleep . . . We didn 't really think anything of him until we watched him pass under a streetlight - and REMAIN a silhouette . We were only about 20 feet away when it happened , but whatever walked under that streetlight was simply a featureless , black cutout of where there should have been a person . As " it " walked by , you could hear the soft crunch of leaves and the shuffle of boots on concrete . After " it " passed the light cone of the street light , it simply vanished - including the footsteps . Story 2 : Fast forward one year from story # 1 and me and my same friend were playing outside past sunset at our old elementary school . There was a big grassy field which we used to play soccer that seperated the school and the houses across the street . Although there were no street lights on the side of the grassy field , there were lights on the same side as the houses . As we were riding our bikes around the school , we noticed that same distinct silhouetted figure walking along on the residential side of the street . My friend joked " Doesn 't that look kinda like that freaky shadow guy we saw last year ? " I thought the guy looked similar , but this was probably about 200 yards out or more so I couldn 't see much . However I agreed and cautioned a lot of joggers who would go out for their evening stroll after work . But just as I finished my sentence , the silhouetted figure turned away from the street and bulleted towards US . I 'd never seen something run so very fast across a field or anything since . Both me and my friend panicked and raced into the school parking lot to try to loose whatever followed us in the labyrinth of buildings . We as we were about to make it around the first corner of the first building we both saw the shadowy figure once again pass under several school lights without feature . As we rounded a corner it did not continue to turn torwards us and instead ran straight into the building . For lack of a better description , the figure simply disappeared into it . September 2001 ( pre 9 - 11 ) . I had just started my sixth semester in college and this was my second year living alone in my apartment . It was about 11pm and I had just spend about three hours surfing the web and instant messaging several of my friends . It was late and time for bed , so I turned off my computer and all the other lights in my single - bedroom apartment . It wasn 't pitch - black , but street lights could still make faint outlines of objects in my apartment . I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and did my thing , then walked out of my bathroom and took a step into my bedroom . Suddenly I heard a crack or a snap , that sounded like a tree branch breaking . In an instant my whole apartment was filled with thousands of fleks of crimson stars that pulsed between red , gold and silver . They passed through me , the walls , my TV , computer , my furniture , everything . For two seconds I stood in terror unaware of what to make of what I saw . Again the crack and it was gone . Now for the weird part : For the next two to three days day anything I put in or around my sink was either inverted or instantly relocated into any other part of my kitchen . Each time I 'd go into my kitchen , all my cereal boxes would be inverted , my dishwasher soap would be moved around , the mail would be on the counter or on the table . No pots or pans moved , nor did any of my cabinets open or close . August 2002 . This one was a given , but during my grandparent 's 50th Anniversary , we had a large family gathering at one of the hotels in downtown Ventura , CA . The hotel that I was staying at was rumored to be haunted . I had my own room , and throughout the night my door handle would reverberate every 20 - 30 seconds . Kinda took a while to get used to , but I slept through it . The really creepy thing was that each time I would go in and out of my room ALL the Windows and shades would alternate between open and closed . I made it a point to make sure that when I entered my bedroom to sleep , all the windows were shut . It was cold outside and I didn 't want to freeze myself to sleep . Thankfully they were still shut in the morning . March 6 , 04 my grandfather passed away at home with the entire family there the last hours of his life . After he passed , I couldnt deal with the stress , so i went in the tv room to be by myself and closed the door . I turned on the TV so i wouldnt hear the coroner discussing the family 's wishes , star trek TNG happened to be on . . . when the show first came out I was living with my grandparents so it was kinda a reminder of the past . . . A few minutes after watching the show , the directv receiver jumped channels to FX where X - files was on . . I figured no big deal ill just changed it back . . . back to ST : TNG no big . five minutes passed and it did it again . the whole time not showing any info on the screen . Did the usual checks , turned it off an on , covered the remote , put it in the other room and changed it on the box itself . Put it back on ST and bam changed again . . . The doors were closed , window and shades were shut . there was another remote in the house but it was on the other side of the house . . . I showed my sister and mom and they panicked . . . I went and told my grandmother , she laughed and she told me my grandfather hated star trek . Powered by vBulletin ® Version 4 . 2 . 2 Copyright © 2017 vBulletin Solutions , Inc . All rights reserved . vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2 . 6 . 3 ( Pro ) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd . vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2 . 2 . 2 ( Pro ) -
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Let us know if there is a color option you would like added or a particular merchandise item you would like to see in the store . Have you had a chance to buy an item from our store ? Then we want to hear what you think about the merchandise you bought . If you would like to provide feedback / suggestions please post in here in the Store Feedback forum . Yeah , I saw that . . . I was more thinking of direct confrontations , like in the kitchen . Ghosts show you something hideous and tell you to leave - - what would happen if you hadn 't , and told them to get out ? What I wonder is if they have anything else to throw at you besides noises / visions ? Not that I 'm saying I would have done anything differently , but it makes me curious about how much these things can affect us directly , aside from sensory tricks . Yeah , I saw that . . . I was more thinking of direct confrontations , like in the kitchen . Ghosts show you something hideous and tell you to leave - - what would happen if you hadn 't , and told them to get out ? What I wonder is if they have anything else to throw at you besides noises / visions ? Not that I 'm saying I would have done anything differently , but it makes me curious about how much these things can affect us directly , aside from sensory tricks . My grandmother who is a deeply religious woman always tells of stories of the supernatural kind . Some how everytime a relative of her 's passes away she is affected by it or possesed . She says that usually the spirit or ghost has left something undone or unfinished and one should ask what it is IT wants ( like i 'll have the guts ) or tell it to leave you alone . Anyways , it was only 2 years ago that she had a really scary moment like this . One night my aunt gets a call from the Dominican Republic telling her that my grandmother was on her last breath . My aunt took the next flight to DR to go see her mother . When she got there she found my grandmother laying in bed cold as ice , and pale gray . She asked my grandmother what was wrong and my grandmother replied in a strange voice . My aunt said all the hairs in her body stood up when she heard my grandmother . My aunt knew there was something abnormal happening and asked what IT wanted . My Grandmother replied in a that strange voice asking for a glass of water to drink . When my aunt got the water she took it down in two gulps . The spirit that was possesing my grandmother then started to talked about how she was very thirsty at the time of her death and no one gave her a drink . The spirit then told my aunt to make sure Lita was looked after . ( Lita is a little girl my grandmother adopted because her mother had passed away shortly after she was born due to labor complications . ) My aunt realised who it was that was possesing my grandma and told it she was harming my grandmother and that no one would be able to look after Lita if my grandma was harmed . The spirit told my aunt she was not there to harm anyone , all she wanted was to be closed to her daughter . My aunt again asked her to leave because she was harming my grandma . The spirit said it was leaving , but asked my aunt to reguest a priest to say a mass in her name . my Aunt told her she would and my grandmother fell asleep and woke up the next day like nothing had happened . she could not remember anything that took place . Yeah , I saw that . . . I was more thinking of direct confrontations , like in the kitchen . Ghosts show you something hideous and tell you to leave - - what would happen if you hadn 't , and told them to get out ? What I wonder is if they have anything else to throw at you besides noises / visions ? Not that I 'm saying I would have done anything differently , but it makes me curious about how much these things can affect us directly , aside from sensory tricks . i had a couple little things freak me out at my old house in north portland . i shared a room with my bro , and my parents room was right across the hall . sometimes i 'd randomly wake up in the middle of the night , and i kno everyone was in bed , and i 'd hear the toilet flush down stairs ( only bathroom in the house ) and a couple times i saw some weird shadow 's in the hall . was in no rush to check them out tho . my mom and my bro remember hearing this really weird , kinda train like noise in the middle of the night tho . and there were train tracks down the road a ways , but the thing is , my aunt who lived across town heard the same noise , and there were no train tracks near her house . they got so loud one night that she actually went outside and looked to see what was makin it but found nothin . we 've tried to rationalize it for years but still dont kno what it was . i never heard those noises tho , so didn 't bother me too much . Anyway , I have a really really good story . It 's about a colonial farm in Brazil , some creepy stuff . . . It 's when my Dad and my grandmother were living there . there is this building on campus called " palma hall . " on the second floor lobby of this building is a small theater . now , years ago , it was said that a student actress committed suicide at the backstage because she didn 't get the lead role for a certain play . since then , performers have noted that there 's always ONE extra person when they portray crowds onstage . sometimes , when a scene becomes overly dramatic or melancholic , a loud crying voice could be heard , which the audience thinks is some sort of special sound effects . anyway , one time , a friend of mine watched a play with her classmate in the said theater . while watching , she noticed something floating above the performers , floating on the surface of the back curtains . it was a faint semblance of a face , smiling . it floated to the left , and to the right the whole time , then it floated upwards and disappeared . after the play , she asked her companion if she also saw it , and yes , they both did . now , this story also happened on the same building . a couple of my friends were talking one early evening on the third floor left wing of the building . so this is the layout - right wing , lobby , and left wing . stairs are found on both wings , and on the lobby . so , every evening , classes are usually held on the second and first floors of palma hall . the 3rd and 4th floor lights are then turned off to conserve power . now , my friends went up from the second floor to talk . one was having problems and was seeking advice . they settled on the stairway going to the fourth floor . now , while they were talking , they saw a woman in white clothes , staring at them from the lobby . at first they tried their best to ignore it . but it just stood there , observing them . afew minutes later , it leaned through a corridor wall , and slowly passed through it . Alright , so I said I was gonna share with you folks the scary story from my family . This happened to my father and grandmother . First off I have to start out with a little background so you can understand the setting . I am originally from Brazil and my great great grandfather founded the city where I used to live in , in the state of São Paulo ( southeast ) . He was a Count , appointed by Portuguese officials , responsible for a fair share of land in the southeastern part of the country . This is around 1800s . Brazil was colonized by the Portuguese ( yea , we don 't speak Spanish ) and a good amount of development , during colonial times , came from coffee plantations . My great great grandfather used to have a big coffee plantation in the farm , and he had slaves working for him in the different areas of the process ; picking , grounding the coffee . . . etc . Some of the slaves were abused and whipped , a common thing back then . . . The slaves used to live in their own tight quarters called " senzalas " in a building separated from the manor , and ones that were in punishment were sometimes in shackles - eventhough my GGgrandfather is said to have treated slaves better than most other Counts , there was obviously a fair share of suffering . Now . . . The Count had 14 children , one of them my great grandfather , which in turn had my grandfather , then my father and then me . The city was founded in around 1820 , so a lot of the children left for the city , while some remained at the farm , and others left the state or even the country . Fast forward about 160 years . My father and grandmother are staying at the farm manor for about 2 months visiting the area before they decide to buy a house . Here is where it starts to get odd . The old " senzalas , " where the slaves were kept , were turned into guest rooms ( for tourism ) , so that 's where they stayed during those 2 months . The main house , where the " royalty " used to sleep is a fairly accomodating building , but it is very creepy . There 's a room with paintings of the family that 's just scary , when I was little we used to have family reunions at this place and we 'd close all the windows , to make it dark , and have us ( the kids ) cross the room . . . That was already scary enough , I can 't imagine what would be like at night ! I mean this is the sort of place where every single wooden board makes a cracking noise , it 's very much a colonial style house - coffee plantation style . Apparently , when my father and grandmother were staying at the farm , there were strange sounds coming from the " senzalas " every other week . . . they would be cracking noises , sometimes whispers , or , get this shackles ! The first time my father told me this story , I was about 12 , it was hard to believe at first . He 's not a religious guy , nor does he believe in ghosts or anything . . . so he said he pretty much tried to ignore all of that , thinking it was all in his mind , my grandmother was the same way . This is how it goes . He said it was one of those nights where it 's just pouring rain , lightning and etc . . . and he and my grandmother were sleeping . It was around 3 o ' clock in the morning when my grandmother woke up with a scream , sweating . . . She told my dad she had a nightmare : That she was sleeping exactly as they were , and that when she woke up she heard shackles , getting louder and louder coming from the manor . They would get louder and louder with each repeating hit until she said she ran into the house and into the " Picture room " where the Count ( now dead for over 145 years ) was standing right next to the fireplace - man this is giving me so many chills in the back of my neck and through my spine right now - where he was leaning onto the fireplace . . . . . . . and thats when she woke up . About 15 years ago , my cousin had just finished her college exams in Taiwan and was looking at prospective schools . So she traveled all over the country visiting universities like most students do here . Being far away from home , she had to stay in a hotel with her parents . Well , one night , she wakes up in the middle of the night for whatever reason . But something 's strange about the room . As her eyes get adjusted to the darkness , she sees someone sitting at this dressing table . Its basically a small writing desk up against the wall and there 's a big beauty mirror on top of it . And it was positioned in such a way that you could see the bed in the mirror . Well , she sees this woman wearing a dark dress with polka dots . At first she thinks it 's her mom , but her parents are asleep in the other bed so it 's not possible . . . The woman 's skin was very pale and she just sat there slowly brushing her long dark hair . All the while she 's looking into the mirror and staring at my cousin intently . Of course my cousin is scared out of her mind and she slowly hides under the covers and shuts her eyes and forces herself to go to sleep . . . We didn 't really think anything of him until we watched him pass under a streetlight - and REMAIN a silhouette . We were only about 20 feet away when it happened , but whatever walked under that streetlight was simply a featureless , black cutout of where there should have been a person . As " it " walked by , you could hear the soft crunch of leaves and the shuffle of boots on concrete . After " it " passed the light cone of the street light , it simply vanished - including the footsteps . Story 2 : Fast forward one year from story # 1 and me and my same friend were playing outside past sunset at our old elementary school . There was a big grassy field which we used to play soccer that seperated the school and the houses across the street . Although there were no street lights on the side of the grassy field , there were lights on the same side as the houses . As we were riding our bikes around the school , we noticed that same distinct silhouetted figure walking along on the residential side of the street . My friend joked " Doesn 't that look kinda like that freaky shadow guy we saw last year ? " I thought the guy looked similar , but this was probably about 200 yards out or more so I couldn 't see much . However I agreed and cautioned a lot of joggers who would go out for their evening stroll after work . But just as I finished my sentence , the silhouetted figure turned away from the street and bulleted towards US . I 'd never seen something run so very fast across a field or anything since . Both me and my friend panicked and raced into the school parking lot to try to loose whatever followed us in the labyrinth of buildings . We as we were about to make it around the first corner of the first building we both saw the shadowy figure once again pass under several school lights without feature . As we rounded a corner it did not continue to turn torwards us and instead ran straight into the building . For lack of a better description , the figure simply disappeared into it . September 2001 ( pre 9 - 11 ) . I had just started my sixth semester in college and this was my second year living alone in my apartment . It was about 11pm and I had just spend about three hours surfing the web and instant messaging several of my friends . It was late and time for bed , so I turned off my computer and all the other lights in my single - bedroom apartment . It wasn 't pitch - black , but street lights could still make faint outlines of objects in my apartment . I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and did my thing , then walked out of my bathroom and took a step into my bedroom . Suddenly I heard a crack or a snap , that sounded like a tree branch breaking . In an instant my whole apartment was filled with thousands of fleks of crimson stars that pulsed between red , gold and silver . They passed through me , the walls , my TV , computer , my furniture , everything . For two seconds I stood in terror unaware of what to make of what I saw . Again the crack and it was gone . Now for the weird part : For the next two to three days day anything I put in or around my sink was either inverted or instantly relocated into any other part of my kitchen . Each time I 'd go into my kitchen , all my cereal boxes would be inverted , my dishwasher soap would be moved around , the mail would be on the counter or on the table . No pots or pans moved , nor did any of my cabinets open or close . August 2002 . This one was a given , but during my grandparent 's 50th Anniversary , we had a large family gathering at one of the hotels in downtown Ventura , CA . The hotel that I was staying at was rumored to be haunted . I had my own room , and throughout the night my door handle would reverberate every 20 - 30 seconds . Kinda took a while to get used to , but I slept through it . The really creepy thing was that each time I would go in and out of my room ALL the Windows and shades would alternate between open and closed . I made it a point to make sure that when I entered my bedroom to sleep , all the windows were shut . It was cold outside and I didn 't want to freeze myself to sleep . Thankfully they were still shut in the morning . March 6 , 04 my grandfather passed away at home with the entire family there the last hours of his life . After he passed , I couldnt deal with the stress , so i went in the tv room to be by myself and closed the door . I turned on the TV so i wouldnt hear the coroner discussing the family 's wishes , star trek TNG happened to be on . . . when the show first came out I was living with my grandparents so it was kinda a reminder of the past . . . A few minutes after watching the show , the directv receiver jumped channels to FX where X - files was on . . I figured no big deal ill just changed it back . . . back to ST : TNG no big . five minutes passed and it did it again . the whole time not showing any info on the screen . Did the usual checks , turned it off an on , covered the remote , put it in the other room and changed it on the box itself . Put it back on ST and bam changed again . . . The doors were closed , window and shades were shut . there was another remote in the house but it was on the other side of the house . . . I showed my sister and mom and they panicked . . . I went and told my grandmother , she laughed and she told me my grandfather hated star trek . Powered by vBulletin ® Version 4 . 2 . 2 Copyright © 2017 vBulletin Solutions , Inc . All rights reserved . vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2 . 6 . 3 ( Pro ) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd . vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2 . 2 . 2 ( Pro ) -
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Let us know if there is a color option you would like added or a particular merchandise item you would like to see in the store . Have you had a chance to buy an item from our store ? Then we want to hear what you think about the merchandise you bought . If you would like to provide feedback / suggestions please post in here in the Store Feedback forum . Yeah , I saw that . . . I was more thinking of direct confrontations , like in the kitchen . Ghosts show you something hideous and tell you to leave - - what would happen if you hadn 't , and told them to get out ? What I wonder is if they have anything else to throw at you besides noises / visions ? Not that I 'm saying I would have done anything differently , but it makes me curious about how much these things can affect us directly , aside from sensory tricks . Yeah , I saw that . . . I was more thinking of direct confrontations , like in the kitchen . Ghosts show you something hideous and tell you to leave - - what would happen if you hadn 't , and told them to get out ? What I wonder is if they have anything else to throw at you besides noises / visions ? Not that I 'm saying I would have done anything differently , but it makes me curious about how much these things can affect us directly , aside from sensory tricks . My grandmother who is a deeply religious woman always tells of stories of the supernatural kind . Some how everytime a relative of her 's passes away she is affected by it or possesed . She says that usually the spirit or ghost has left something undone or unfinished and one should ask what it is IT wants ( like i 'll have the guts ) or tell it to leave you alone . Anyways , it was only 2 years ago that she had a really scary moment like this . One night my aunt gets a call from the Dominican Republic telling her that my grandmother was on her last breath . My aunt took the next flight to DR to go see her mother . When she got there she found my grandmother laying in bed cold as ice , and pale gray . She asked my grandmother what was wrong and my grandmother replied in a strange voice . My aunt said all the hairs in her body stood up when she heard my grandmother . My aunt knew there was something abnormal happening and asked what IT wanted . My Grandmother replied in a that strange voice asking for a glass of water to drink . When my aunt got the water she took it down in two gulps . The spirit that was possesing my grandmother then started to talked about how she was very thirsty at the time of her death and no one gave her a drink . The spirit then told my aunt to make sure Lita was looked after . ( Lita is a little girl my grandmother adopted because her mother had passed away shortly after she was born due to labor complications . ) My aunt realised who it was that was possesing my grandma and told it she was harming my grandmother and that no one would be able to look after Lita if my grandma was harmed . The spirit told my aunt she was not there to harm anyone , all she wanted was to be closed to her daughter . My aunt again asked her to leave because she was harming my grandma . The spirit said it was leaving , but asked my aunt to reguest a priest to say a mass in her name . my Aunt told her she would and my grandmother fell asleep and woke up the next day like nothing had happened . she could not remember anything that took place . Yeah , I saw that . . . I was more thinking of direct confrontations , like in the kitchen . Ghosts show you something hideous and tell you to leave - - what would happen if you hadn 't , and told them to get out ? What I wonder is if they have anything else to throw at you besides noises / visions ? Not that I 'm saying I would have done anything differently , but it makes me curious about how much these things can affect us directly , aside from sensory tricks . i had a couple little things freak me out at my old house in north portland . i shared a room with my bro , and my parents room was right across the hall . sometimes i 'd randomly wake up in the middle of the night , and i kno everyone was in bed , and i 'd hear the toilet flush down stairs ( only bathroom in the house ) and a couple times i saw some weird shadow 's in the hall . was in no rush to check them out tho . my mom and my bro remember hearing this really weird , kinda train like noise in the middle of the night tho . and there were train tracks down the road a ways , but the thing is , my aunt who lived across town heard the same noise , and there were no train tracks near her house . they got so loud one night that she actually went outside and looked to see what was makin it but found nothin . we 've tried to rationalize it for years but still dont kno what it was . i never heard those noises tho , so didn 't bother me too much . Anyway , I have a really really good story . It 's about a colonial farm in Brazil , some creepy stuff . . . It 's when my Dad and my grandmother were living there . there is this building on campus called " palma hall . " on the second floor lobby of this building is a small theater . now , years ago , it was said that a student actress committed suicide at the backstage because she didn 't get the lead role for a certain play . since then , performers have noted that there 's always ONE extra person when they portray crowds onstage . sometimes , when a scene becomes overly dramatic or melancholic , a loud crying voice could be heard , which the audience thinks is some sort of special sound effects . anyway , one time , a friend of mine watched a play with her classmate in the said theater . while watching , she noticed something floating above the performers , floating on the surface of the back curtains . it was a faint semblance of a face , smiling . it floated to the left , and to the right the whole time , then it floated upwards and disappeared . after the play , she asked her companion if she also saw it , and yes , they both did . now , this story also happened on the same building . a couple of my friends were talking one early evening on the third floor left wing of the building . so this is the layout - right wing , lobby , and left wing . stairs are found on both wings , and on the lobby . so , every evening , classes are usually held on the second and first floors of palma hall . the 3rd and 4th floor lights are then turned off to conserve power . now , my friends went up from the second floor to talk . one was having problems and was seeking advice . they settled on the stairway going to the fourth floor . now , while they were talking , they saw a woman in white clothes , staring at them from the lobby . at first they tried their best to ignore it . but it just stood there , observing them . afew minutes later , it leaned through a corridor wall , and slowly passed through it . Alright , so I said I was gonna share with you folks the scary story from my family . This happened to my father and grandmother . First off I have to start out with a little background so you can understand the setting . I am originally from Brazil and my great great grandfather founded the city where I used to live in , in the state of São Paulo ( southeast ) . He was a Count , appointed by Portuguese officials , responsible for a fair share of land in the southeastern part of the country . This is around 1800s . Brazil was colonized by the Portuguese ( yea , we don 't speak Spanish ) and a good amount of development , during colonial times , came from coffee plantations . My great great grandfather used to have a big coffee plantation in the farm , and he had slaves working for him in the different areas of the process ; picking , grounding the coffee . . . etc . Some of the slaves were abused and whipped , a common thing back then . . . The slaves used to live in their own tight quarters called " senzalas " in a building separated from the manor , and ones that were in punishment were sometimes in shackles - eventhough my GGgrandfather is said to have treated slaves better than most other Counts , there was obviously a fair share of suffering . Now . . . The Count had 14 children , one of them my great grandfather , which in turn had my grandfather , then my father and then me . The city was founded in around 1820 , so a lot of the children left for the city , while some remained at the farm , and others left the state or even the country . Fast forward about 160 years . My father and grandmother are staying at the farm manor for about 2 months visiting the area before they decide to buy a house . Here is where it starts to get odd . The old " senzalas , " where the slaves were kept , were turned into guest rooms ( for tourism ) , so that 's where they stayed during those 2 months . The main house , where the " royalty " used to sleep is a fairly accomodating building , but it is very creepy . There 's a room with paintings of the family that 's just scary , when I was little we used to have family reunions at this place and we 'd close all the windows , to make it dark , and have us ( the kids ) cross the room . . . That was already scary enough , I can 't imagine what would be like at night ! I mean this is the sort of place where every single wooden board makes a cracking noise , it 's very much a colonial style house - coffee plantation style . Apparently , when my father and grandmother were staying at the farm , there were strange sounds coming from the " senzalas " every other week . . . they would be cracking noises , sometimes whispers , or , get this shackles ! The first time my father told me this story , I was about 12 , it was hard to believe at first . He 's not a religious guy , nor does he believe in ghosts or anything . . . so he said he pretty much tried to ignore all of that , thinking it was all in his mind , my grandmother was the same way . This is how it goes . He said it was one of those nights where it 's just pouring rain , lightning and etc . . . and he and my grandmother were sleeping . It was around 3 o ' clock in the morning when my grandmother woke up with a scream , sweating . . . She told my dad she had a nightmare : That she was sleeping exactly as they were , and that when she woke up she heard shackles , getting louder and louder coming from the manor . They would get louder and louder with each repeating hit until she said she ran into the house and into the " Picture room " where the Count ( now dead for over 145 years ) was standing right next to the fireplace - man this is giving me so many chills in the back of my neck and through my spine right now - where he was leaning onto the fireplace . . . . . . . and thats when she woke up . About 15 years ago , my cousin had just finished her college exams in Taiwan and was looking at prospective schools . So she traveled all over the country visiting universities like most students do here . Being far away from home , she had to stay in a hotel with her parents . Well , one night , she wakes up in the middle of the night for whatever reason . But something 's strange about the room . As her eyes get adjusted to the darkness , she sees someone sitting at this dressing table . Its basically a small writing desk up against the wall and there 's a big beauty mirror on top of it . And it was positioned in such a way that you could see the bed in the mirror . Well , she sees this woman wearing a dark dress with polka dots . At first she thinks it 's her mom , but her parents are asleep in the other bed so it 's not possible . . . The woman 's skin was very pale and she just sat there slowly brushing her long dark hair . All the while she 's looking into the mirror and staring at my cousin intently . Of course my cousin is scared out of her mind and she slowly hides under the covers and shuts her eyes and forces herself to go to sleep . . . We didn 't really think anything of him until we watched him pass under a streetlight - and REMAIN a silhouette . We were only about 20 feet away when it happened , but whatever walked under that streetlight was simply a featureless , black cutout of where there should have been a person . As " it " walked by , you could hear the soft crunch of leaves and the shuffle of boots on concrete . After " it " passed the light cone of the street light , it simply vanished - including the footsteps . Story 2 : Fast forward one year from story # 1 and me and my same friend were playing outside past sunset at our old elementary school . There was a big grassy field which we used to play soccer that seperated the school and the houses across the street . Although there were no street lights on the side of the grassy field , there were lights on the same side as the houses . As we were riding our bikes around the school , we noticed that same distinct silhouetted figure walking along on the residential side of the street . My friend joked " Doesn 't that look kinda like that freaky shadow guy we saw last year ? " I thought the guy looked similar , but this was probably about 200 yards out or more so I couldn 't see much . However I agreed and cautioned a lot of joggers who would go out for their evening stroll after work . But just as I finished my sentence , the silhouetted figure turned away from the street and bulleted towards US . I 'd never seen something run so very fast across a field or anything since . Both me and my friend panicked and raced into the school parking lot to try to loose whatever followed us in the labyrinth of buildings . We as we were about to make it around the first corner of the first building we both saw the shadowy figure once again pass under several school lights without feature . As we rounded a corner it did not continue to turn torwards us and instead ran straight into the building . For lack of a better description , the figure simply disappeared into it . September 2001 ( pre 9 - 11 ) . I had just started my sixth semester in college and this was my second year living alone in my apartment . It was about 11pm and I had just spend about three hours surfing the web and instant messaging several of my friends . It was late and time for bed , so I turned off my computer and all the other lights in my single - bedroom apartment . It wasn 't pitch - black , but street lights could still make faint outlines of objects in my apartment . I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and did my thing , then walked out of my bathroom and took a step into my bedroom . Suddenly I heard a crack or a snap , that sounded like a tree branch breaking . In an instant my whole apartment was filled with thousands of fleks of crimson stars that pulsed between red , gold and silver . They passed through me , the walls , my TV , computer , my furniture , everything . For two seconds I stood in terror unaware of what to make of what I saw . Again the crack and it was gone . Now for the weird part : For the next two to three days day anything I put in or around my sink was either inverted or instantly relocated into any other part of my kitchen . Each time I 'd go into my kitchen , all my cereal boxes would be inverted , my dishwasher soap would be moved around , the mail would be on the counter or on the table . No pots or pans moved , nor did any of my cabinets open or close . August 2002 . This one was a given , but during my grandparent 's 50th Anniversary , we had a large family gathering at one of the hotels in downtown Ventura , CA . The hotel that I was staying at was rumored to be haunted . I had my own room , and throughout the night my door handle would reverberate every 20 - 30 seconds . Kinda took a while to get used to , but I slept through it . The really creepy thing was that each time I would go in and out of my room ALL the Windows and shades would alternate between open and closed . I made it a point to make sure that when I entered my bedroom to sleep , all the windows were shut . It was cold outside and I didn 't want to freeze myself to sleep . Thankfully they were still shut in the morning . March 6 , 04 my grandfather passed away at home with the entire family there the last hours of his life . After he passed , I couldnt deal with the stress , so i went in the tv room to be by myself and closed the door . I turned on the TV so i wouldnt hear the coroner discussing the family 's wishes , star trek TNG happened to be on . . . when the show first came out I was living with my grandparents so it was kinda a reminder of the past . . . A few minutes after watching the show , the directv receiver jumped channels to FX where X - files was on . . I figured no big deal ill just changed it back . . . back to ST : TNG no big . five minutes passed and it did it again . the whole time not showing any info on the screen . Did the usual checks , turned it off an on , covered the remote , put it in the other room and changed it on the box itself . Put it back on ST and bam changed again . . . The doors were closed , window and shades were shut . there was another remote in the house but it was on the other side of the house . . . I showed my sister and mom and they panicked . . . I went and told my grandmother , she laughed and she told me my grandfather hated star trek . Powered by vBulletin ® Version 4 . 2 . 2 Copyright © 2017 vBulletin Solutions , Inc . All rights reserved . vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2 . 6 . 3 ( Pro ) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd . vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2 . 2 . 2 ( Pro ) -
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So my blog is full of space so it 's Printing time . I have enjoyed rereading all the posts the past year and a half . Bailey was a NEWBORN ! That seems like yesterday but seeing how much as happened it blows my mind how they truly grow up in the blink of an eye . I try to remind myself to enjoy them in every stage but just rereading it gave me a greater desire to Live In the Moment ! I feel like our moments are so Precious now ! Lydia will wake up from her nap and then Bailey which will be followed with lots of cuddles . Bailey 's affectionate nature is so contagious ! The constant kisses and hugs that she gives spontaneously is her True nature . She came straight from Heavenly Father this way . Lydia is still so excited for life and happy ! She just beams of excitement for life . Her stories with her little voice are so cute ! I want to lock her voice in my memory bank forever . She will sit and and talk with her hands explaining to Ryan the days events . My favorite thing though are her eyes . You can tell during a story she is reliving the moment of when we were at the park , or grocery store , or when we saw that spider that she so courageously stepped on . These are the Moments ! I feel I am in the thick of it all and can 't get enough of my girls . There is a look on Ryan 's face which I would define as pure joy ! It is when he sees the girls playing and laughing that he just Beams of Happiness . Children bring a happiness to a family that can 't come any other way . Seeing the world by traveling and enjoying fancy restaurants seems like a short changed life in comparison to the joys a child will bring . Sure enough there are hard times when they will be kids and Bailey pulls Lydia 's hair or Lydia cuts her hair instead of going to bed when we asked her too . But oh the joyous moments truly outweigh the rest . My desire to continue our family grows as I see our little girls and how close they are . I think how miserable they would be without one another and I can 't help but think what other siblings will join our girl . Life is so fulfilling being a mom ! I am so grateful for the chance I have to stay home ! Ryan and I have the hardest time getting a babysitter . Haha ! Probably for a couple reasons one we are cheap and so paying someone to watch our kids doesn 't sound great to a budget but I think most of all we would rather do things as a family . However , this last Ensign and the articles about marriages make me think that we should encourage date night at least once a month . I have also been loving Oregon but the last week I have missed the women in Indiana . That was my home for so long and I have noticed that those strong families and their dedication to the Lord left a hole I didn 't know was there till now . I know that life will continue here and it will be so fulfilling and good but I truly will always cherish those women and families during our dental school years . Families were brought into our lives for a reason and I don 't want to forget their amazing examples and friendships that effected me while I learned to be a wife and mom ! I have started training for a half marathon . I ran 6 miles yesterday for my long run and am excited to continue to train to run the race October 10th . Training to run in a race is so rewarding . Just the dedication to get up and run seems to trickle down in my dedication in other aspects of my life . Ryan has been on call for work and it has been crazier than we anticipated . However , as I have been overhearing the conversations I can 't help but think of how grateful the people must be that he can prescribe medicine to them during their time of need . I know I would be So GRATEFUL if I were in pain ! He is so good with people and very caring and giving that this suits him . I know that he is very excited though to be off call tomorrow for Labor day . Haha ! A couple days solid of phone calls gets exhausting . But once a year shouldn 't be too bad . Bailey is so ready to start potty training and I am not ! I don 't know why but something inside me just feels that I need to wait . Maybe it 's my own selfish reasons but I am going to try and stick it out waiting until after Thanksgiving if I can or even Christmas . Then we will be done traveling for awhile and she can have a solid amount of time without any change to really get potty training down . However , it is so dang cute when she is sitting on her seat with the ducks as she quacks her little heart away . I also have to laugh that she holds her nose closed ( like PU ) when she needs to go . I also can 't seem to keep her pants on her and might have to get that girl a belt . Haha ! Lydia loves Gum ! That is the best treat to her . She also is starting to fade out of a regular nap schedule . She will nap some days and other days she doesn 't . She seems to be fine the days she decides not to nap . We always have quiet time so she has the opportunity to nap if she wants too . She has been really excited for play dates so I have been scheduling them a lot ! However , one play date she wouldn 't get off the couch or play with the other kids . Maybe three families with 7 kids total was too much ? Whatever it was I realized that the one lesson I want her to learn is that happiness is a choice . Even if she doesn 't feel like being happy she should at least try to smile because it will help ANY situation ! I used to think my goal before preschool would be what she knows academically and I realized this past week there is more important things I want her to learn . But just like anything else it will take practice before it becomes a habit . Fall time is approaching . Usually I am so excited for fall . However , this year I feel that summer went by too fast and that I missed it . So I am ok with fall not starting technically for a couple more weeks . I realized I had no pictures of Ryan 's office . This week he forgot his lunch and so we had lunch with him and I took pictures . I love how nice his office is . We still need to hang family pictures in his office but I 'm glad he has his diploma hanging up . I 'm glad that Ryan 's mom got it framed for him because I 'm just realizing how expensive mattes and frames can be . This week I Painted A Ton of white things ! Lydia now has a mirror / makeup ( pretend ) stand that is white instead of red , a decorative wall art for Lyds room , Bailey has a necklace holder and toystand , shelves for the bathroom , Ryan and I 's mirror , and the only thing I didn 't paint white is a frame and that was black . Ryan and I were about to hang some stuff when we decided to make a kid mud room by our garage door enterance . He 's going to build a bench and hang their coat rack . I 'm really excited about that idea . We are completely redoing our bedroom with a new bed and all . So many before and after pictures to come . We worked are guts out yesterday . I trimmed all the shrubs in the yard . That was a serious undertaking ! Ryan ripped apart our bed frames and is using the wood for our mud room bench for the girls . I sanded down the wood after Ryan got all the nails out . But I need a serious grade sandpaper to finish the job . I am using some of the springs come Christmas for decor . They are perfect little Christmas tree shapes . We have figured out our budget this last week . And even though it 's very overwhelming trying to pay off our debt fast it 's also so exciting that 1 ) We now have a good income to make it happen 2 ) We have serious help from Oregon ! Five years we should be almost completely done paying off our debt ! ! Lydia has been counting to 20 very well . It 's fun to see how kids just catch on even if you didn 't sit down and say let 's learn how to count . She has told Ryan and I this is the Best Nursery Ever ! ! I don 't know what Amazing things they 've got going on but we are grateful for those leaders ! She loves to play with the spiders around are house . It makes my stomach churn . The cob webs form overnight ! And she loves that we can find garden snakes easily . I hate all of this to be honest . But kids will be kids . Lydia also is Loving her PJ dress ( aka Ryan 's Brazil T - shirt ) . Any form of skirt or dress she is in Love with ! Bailey is waking up dry from her naps and bedtime more frequently now . She goes on the potty really well and will tell me when she needs to go . I love this but don 't want to start potty training until I feel she is Completely ready ! By this I mean little to no need for diaper change so we can go into underwear without ruining our nice carpet . She also says her prayers so well with the little words she knows . She makes noises that she affiliates with the item and will say ya to everything else but says Amen with a loud , " Aaaaaa ! " Haha ! We as a family have Loved Crome Cast ! ! Pandora all the time means working out while dancing with the girls is a must ! Ryan and I have enjoyed some fun movies ! For Ryan 's work conference they paid for us to go to Eagle Crest Resort and enjoy swimming at their resort and hang out in the hotel while Ryan had classes . We worked around Ryan 's schedule so we could nap while he was in class and play when he was done . The second night , Friday , they had a big dinner for the couples and Sweet babysitting for the kids ( juice boxes , movies , pizza ) . Ryan and I enjoyed meeting the other LDS and not LDS couples who just recently graduated and are in our same shoes . It was also nice for Ryan to get to know these men and has called them since for advice with patients . We laughed and gobbled up our steak dinner . When I went to pick up the girls neither of them wanted to leave . Haha ! I guess we should have partied later . It was Such a great night ! Now that we know how the resort works next conference we will be a little more prepared . I have been painting , decorating , and brain storming for the house . I finished the table and love it ! The desk I 've only put the granite on . Now I need to put some paint and knobs on when my budget allows . I also , with the help of friends , figured out our sun window room . It still need to hang everything but we are getting there . During the week we fed the sisters , Who I Love , and Amanda 's family . They are investigating and hopefully tomorrow they will set a baptismal date while I visit tomorrow . The girls and I went swimming to Amazon Pool for a play date with some families . We had a Great time ! It 's so fun getting to know these women and make friends . Then Ryan called me and asked me for help . I brought the girls to his office and let them play in his waiting room while I was his Dental Assistant . It was So fun for me to work for that short time by Ryan . He is such a great dentist and Very attractive ! We had a movie night Friday as a family . Ryan and I made blackberry jam for our date after the girls were in bed . It grows wild here an my girls Love It ! Saturday we enjoyed the beach that is right here ! Oh it was so beautiful with these trees ! Life is Great ! I have thoroughly enjoyed having family time together ! The girls have been having a ball playing in every room , outside , and hate to leave the house . Errands used to be something they loved to do with me and now I have to convince them to come . They really don 't like leaving the house ever unless it means they get to see daddy . I am on an all time high . It 's truly even better than I imagined it would be . We are exactly a mile from Ryan 's work and it 's so fun driving past and waving on our errands . This is the only motivation for the girls to get out . But tonight were are driving to a resort because Ryan has a work conference where they pay for us to go as a family . Lydia is REALLY excited about this ! It 's like a paid vacation every quarter which is great for us ! Mommy : I have researched photography a bit more so I can get photo 's on the walls . My only hang up now that I 've figured it out is how to print a huge photo like a 50 incher . I am learning a lot but hope it doesn 't take me 6 months to get pictures in our frames . Haha ! I also have started repainting furniture . I have Finally figured out how I 'm going to paint our bed set and kitchen table . I am really excited because I am going to do a dark stain on the wood with a granite top . However , Ryan 's desk still has me stumped . But I am hoping I will figure it out . I am also at a loss for how to decorate the living area that has 2 awkward sun windows . Any suggestions would be very appreciated ! I also am so sad that my computer charger is dying . That 's why I 'm not as frequently updating my blog because more often than not I can 't get my charger to charge my computer 😦 Daddy : Ryan has been extremely busy ! He is definitely getting the swing of a good rhythm for work . His dental assistants are all new . He says it 's the blind leading the blind but it 's good . He also is restocking his office with all the equipment he wants and needs to do his job easier . I am just SO PROUD of him ! Bailey is officially a serious daddy 's girl . She wakes up and cries for him . The only thing that helps is that she has Lydia to play with . But there have been some hours where she sobs for him . It 's so cute how much she loves her daddy . My favorite is when he comes home from work . They both hyperventilate with excitement ! She is also in love with our family scripture study every night ! She will grab all our book of mormons out of the book shelf and get her blanket to sit on an hour or so before it 's time to read . She flips the pages while we read the five verses and then once were done she jumps up to put the books away . I love that kids are all about routine ! It helps being consistent . Lydia is definitely a home body ! She is completely happy playing from room to room ! She has little to no appetite lately . She is so grateful ! Oh my the compliments are continuous with this girl . " Thanks mom for dinner ! It 's so delicious ! " Even if she hates it she always compliments my cooking . She is picking up a seriously great characteristic that will help her in life ! " Dad you look so handsome ! " I mean this is all day long . No joke . Learning about my camera so I took a whole bunch of pictures to hopefully get better . Why have I never used my portrait option before ? I only used Auto . So sad ! Playing before bedtime . They just can 't get enough of Daddy after work ! Also the picture frame is going to hopefully have a family photo if I can figure out how to print one that large . 4th of July was such a blast ! We really missed Ryan but were grateful he was able to head up to start work and move us in with his kind parents . Lydia LOVED the fireworks . Bailey was scared of the really loud ones but didn 't mind the rest . We loved the parade , going down the blow up water slide at the Meyers , and being with family . Ryan worked A TON to get boxes in the house and then they went to a Rodeo . Then on Monday we went to Grandma Nielson " Grandma Billy " funeral . I didn 't cry until her funeral just because it was truly a joyous and exciting time for her to join Grandpa and family . Since she had early alzheimers it was exciting to think that she would be herself again . My mother - in - law was back from helping Ryan move in and was kind enough to watch the girls while I went to the funeral . It was such a great funeral and a good depiction of who she was ! She was HILARIOUS ! I think that sums it up . I was always laughing around her ! The memories of her that I shared at the funeral were . . After Grandpa passed away we all knew Grandma was sad and wished she could have gone with him . I was over at her house as she was getting ready for the funeral and someone said , " Grandma you look so nice . " She responded , " I 've got to dress nice to catch me a new husband . " I laughed so hard at her response . She handled hard times in life with sarcasm . I 've learned a lot from this and hope I can decide to laugh instead of cry in difficult times that lay ahead in life . Grandma was a phenomenal cook ! I remember her breadsticks , homemade ketchup , and her amazing cake . But what I treasure the most were her ham sandwiches she made for us after our 2 hour drive down to see her . This meant so much to me . I always knew she was excited to see us and loved us by having food ready for us when we got there . Thank you Grandma for teaching me that it 's the little things in life that mean the most ! Tuesday my mom and I moved me and there girls to Oregon . The drive well Bailey woke up unhappy so it wasn 't the best trip for her but we got to Oregon so I would say it was a success ! My mom was a trooper and got to work ! I thought it would take me Forever to unpack all the stuff , organize it , and make it a home . But thanks to Ryan 's parents to had already come up and done A TON and my mom for working her guts out we got me moved in . I have just started thinking of decorating the house . Some area 's I 've started while others I feel completely confused on how to decorate such as the TV room ! But in time it will all be decorated in a way that will make it " our " home . So far I am so so ecstatic about my dishwasher that actually washes , my laundry machine , our couches ( and everything else my sister gave me ) , Lydia 's bunk bed ( my other sister gave me ) , and our GARAGE ! Seriously it is all such a party ! I am so grateful for Ryan going to work so we can eat , live in a nice house , and enjoy life ! Way to go Ryan for sacrificing so much to secure a good job for our family ! Life is great and our ward is SO friendly . We were stopped at every corner of the chapel to get the low down on our family . It was a little hard to leave the chapel . That is a good thing ! Billie was the fifth child of six and spent her youth in Enterprise , Utah . After graduating from High School , she eventually moved to Lynndyl , Utah to work for the railroad as a telegrapher during World War II . While living there she met Phill C Nielson and was married him on September 21 , 1944 in the St . George temple . They were married for 63 years and had six daughters . Phill and Billie started farming in Lynndyl and eventually built up a large farm and cattle ranch . She was adored by her spouse , children , grandchildren , great - grandchildren and revered by her son - in - laws who never fully understood how she survived living with six giggling girls . Billie enjoyed life to the fullest and was well known for her wicked sense of humor and ability to lighten other 's burdens by finding humor in even the most dire of circumstances . She was an avid gardner and seamstress . Her hobbies also included : quilting , canning and ( involuntarily ) taking care of a lot of chickens . She was a fantastic cook and made delicious homemade bread and desserts . Billie held various leadership positions in the Mormon church which included serving as a relief society president for 13 years . She is remembered for her compassion and always took time to comfort the widows in her ward . She also worked as a volunteer at the Family History & Garment Distribution Centers in Delta for several years . Prior to the construction of the Intermountain Power , Plant Billie worked part time launching weather balloons to maintain a record of weather patterns for the IPP environmental impact study . Funeral services will be held Monday , July 6 , at 11 : 00 a . m . at the Leamington Ward Chapel . A viewing will be held Monday morning prior to the service , from 9 : 30 to 10 : 45 . Burial will be at the Lynndyl Cemetery . Arriving in Oregon . . Lydia , " I love it ! I just love this house daddy ! It 's just so WONDERFUL ! Thank you ! " She said this over and over ! This past week I miscarried our third baby . I was at 11 weeks and had been bleeding for 5 days . My sister - in - law had a heart monitor so I could hear the heart beat and make sure I hadn 't lost the baby . The heart beat was such a relief to hear . I have bled with all my pregnancies and the bleeding just went away with the other two . This however wasn 't going away . I had been told with my other pregnancies that sometimes their will be a tear that just needs to heal . If you just lay down and go on bed rest it should heal on it 's own . However , that night I bled WAY too much . I made a doctors appointment the next day and they did an internal ultra sound . It was confirmed the baby had died . The doctor told me that no matter what I could have done or didn 't do wouldn 't have mattered because it was an unhealthy pregnancy . Ryan gave me a blessing the previous Sunday because I broke down in Relief Society and started to let fear take over my mind instead of faith . I am so glad Sister Pete was sitting by me . The blessing Ryan gave me talked about feeling peace and comfort no matter what the outcome would be . I must say that priesthood blessing has really kept me calm . I have been able to see the eternal perspective and feel peace . My normal emotions I know would have broke down which shows that the Lord has carried me through this . Today I went back into the doctor and they confirmed that I passed the baby and placenta . I have to go back in to make sure I don 't need a D & C . I have tissue that is still there that if it doesn 't pass they will need to do a D & C to avoid infection . I know that this spirit needs a strong body and one that is properly developed . When that time comes we will be excited for that spirit to join our family . For now I will enjoy the two angels I have ! We got back from Island Park and met up with the Farar family . It was fun to go swimming with them and watch a movie on the projector outside . We watched till midnight and then Ryan 's horse had a baby . So we all went out to see the baby horse take his first steps . We all went to bed and then Ryan headed up to Help Matt with the cows . The next day we went to the splash pad and had some yummy pizza and breadsticks before I dropped them back off at Provo . Meg had her birthday party and Lydia sang all day including at Target , " Happy Birthday to Megan ! " We ate some yummy Cafe Rio and then blew out candles . My girls loved that Meg got them their own doughnut to blow out candles too ! Life is good ! Haha ! Island Park was so fun ! We enjoyed being with family and having our kids get to know everyone so well . We were so lucky to also have Grandma Hayes with us . We were spoiled with good food ! I was able to have my birthday at Island Park ! What a fun time to have everyone I love with me on my birthday . We were able to attend the Hayes 's farewell before they went to the MTC to be Mission Presidents . Oh I love my family and will cherish these memories ! Summer is so much fun for many reasons ; popsicles , playing outside all day long , finding bugs , swinging on swings for hours , and our favorite WATER parties ! This week we 've gone to 3 splash pads , 3 pool parties , story time , and 2 parks . Oh what fun ! This past Saturday we were able to celebrate with Ben for his baptism . It was SO special to watch all the brother 's ( besides Jord ) stand as worthy priesthood holders while Ben received the Holy Ghost . It was fun to go over to Trav and Meg 's house after to have some delicious taco salad bar , fruit , and popsicles . My kids had so much fun ! Sunday morning Ryan went to sacrament meeting with us and then we dropped him off at the airport to head to Oregon . We have missed him but have really had a blast with cousins and friends ! I am also so glad that Ryan has enjoyed his training and feels so great about working for this company . He met the older gentlemen who started Advantage Dental in Oregon and they really aren 't like a " typical " corporate office . But they told Ryan " This is your license so never do anything you are uncomfortable doing . " There is no pressure only restrictions of course that is from insurance companies which you will find in any dental office . Ryan said they are really great men and he feels really good working for them . He has been so exhausted though . He got home Wednesday night at 3 : 30 and laid down to take a nap but woke up the next morning at 5 : 30 AM . Haha ! I think he needed some good sleep ! We have face timed while he has been gone and now Bailey points to the phone and says , " Dad . " Haha ! My sister Sam had surgery so we 've watched her kids and it 's been so fun for us . Lydia and Bailey LOVE Hudson and Hadley ! We also have enjoyed seeing Abby and Sarah a lot ! Bailey Loves Sarah a little too much and our play time usually ends in tears from over loving . It was so fun today to drive down to American Fork and see my friends that I grew up with , Kathryn & Sarah . Kathryn 's house is so beautiful and it 's so fun to be in a stage in life where we all are home owners ! Our kids played so well at the coolest splash pad I 've ever been too . It was more like a river ! Lydia loves Sarah 's little girl Gracie . She was sad when she realized she had already left the splash pad . Kathryn 's little girl , Brynlee , and Bailey are the same age and it was so funny to watch them play / fight with the toys . Haha ! I don 't think 18 month olds know how to share . This week we celebrated Memorial Day by playing softball with the Hirschi family , eating yummy food , and swimming . Ryan hit 4 home runs . Matt hit 2 home runs . And us girls actually hit the ball a couple of times ! Wahoo ! Ryan and I took the girls fishing and horseback riding this week . Lydia rides Chuck all by her self . She knows how to steer the horse , kick him and says " Giddy Up . " It is so darn cute ! Bailey loves riding too ! Fishing with our girls was a hoot ! Bailey cried hysterically because Ryan wouldn 't let her eat the worm . Lydia while waiting for a fish decided to wash her hair in the nasty lake water while singing princess songs . We were both laughing hysterically ! Ryan also was able to go up to his dad 's ranch both weekends to put up fences , move the cattle up there , and work till they are dead tired ! My brother - in - law , Adam , went up with them and had the time of his life . When he came back he said , " Seriously Ryan is the hardest worker I have ever seen . I have seen a lot of hard workers in my life but him , his brothers , and dad top the cake ! " I believe this ! They are VERY hard workers ! My family also had family pictures this Sunday . The first time in about 13 + years ( I can 't remember honestly the last family picture ) . I was so excited for my mom ! For Christmas this year Ryan 's parents gave us a gift card for dinner , Anniversary Inn , which included free babysitting . It was so great ! We went to a YUMMY Brazilian SteakHouse , then we went shopping , went to Anniversary Inn where we watched Pure Luck for the first time ( HILARIOUS ! ) , and did sealings the next morning at the SLC temple . It was such a spiritual experience ! I didn 't realize until I was in the dressing room why the experience was so spiritual for us ! It was the same sealer , Brother Thomas Brown , who sealed us 4 years ago . Ryan and I went to the sealing desk and sent him a message explaining this . Since then we 've talked on the phone and he also shares our anniversary and has been a patriarch for 7 years . He mentioned when we were married things that are in my patriarchal blessing . He also kept mentioning how incredibly sweet our spirits are and was so excited for what the future holds . He mentioned that exact same thing when we were sealed . When he said this both times I did feel the spirit confirm to me that The Lord does in fact have things in store for us and was proud for the decisions we had made and were making . This spiritual experience was a testimony for the both of us ! We are excited to stay in contact the rest of our lives with Brother Brown . As I was leaving the temple I also ran into the stake patriarch who served in one of the areas in my mission . I was so humbled for the opportunity to see Brother K . I always called him that in the beginning because his last name is ( Kallupukya sp ? ) It took all 9 months to learn how to pronounce it . I found out that his wife passed away 2 years ago from cancer . Since she had been battling with it for 20 years he felt blessed to have had so much time with her . I remember so well eating such incredible Sunday dinners at their house and SOAKING up the spirit that was in their home . Seriously what an incredible temple trip ! Since last night was our actual anniversary we went out to dinner to Twiggs . We enjoyed talking and having time to plan our future . Things are coming together for us ! We are so excited that we have been chosen for a 3 year Student Loan Repayment Program that will help us tremendously to pay off our loans . I honestly feel like we won the lottery ! Ryan leaves next week for training . When he comes back we go on the Hirschi family vacation and then move up to Oregon into our beautiful new home ! Oh life is full of blessings ! After lunch one day I told Bailey , " Ok we need to clean up ! " She ran over to my mom 's drawer and grabbed some rags and started scrubbing the floor . It was so so cute ! And so unexpected !
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Things had never gone to hell so fast . Cassidy felt her mind racing as she tried to come up with a plan that didn 't end up with a boot on her neck . Her words carried a lot of weight in these parts but if the Ironguard caught wind that one of their own had chosen to complete his mortal journey right on her doorstep there 'd be a foot on her windpipe before she could gag for mercy . " The caravan 's just pulled in . If you still feel the need for more boozing , Erik 's got a half - dozen barrels of that northern piss - water you call whisky . I 'd go see him before it burns through the wood " That did the trick . Most of the regulars wouldn 't know whisky from lake - water but they knew it got them drunk a damned sight faster than beer did and at caravan prices too . There were grumbles and curses but they all got to their feet and shuffled out of the door into the street . A toothless drunk called Petyr was the last to leave and he doffed his grubby hat to her as he staggered past . As soon as the bar was empty she barred the door and shuttered the windows . Inside the bar was dark but between the shutters the reds and golds of the caravan lanterns shone through , casting shadows across the empty walls . She took a moment to drag her glove across her brow and still her shaking hands before heading for the office . She swung the door in ready to let fly with a few choice expletives and was nearly knocked off her feet by the smell . Her hands shot to her face to try and stifle the stench . She looked down at the corpse on the floor . The preacher 's arm had turned black and begun to rot . " It 's spreading ! Look ! " Frida pulled the man 's collar down to reveal the blackness spreading across his torso . " What is it , Cass ? " Frida backed off and rested against the heavy wooden desk , her eyes still fixed on the horror unfolding on the floor in front of them . " What the hell happened to him , Cass ? I thought you said he 'd been in a brawl ? Fist - fighting doesn 't do that to you . " " It 's not contagious . " , she murmured , her voice wavering as she fought the urge to vomit . " Anyway , it 's stopped . Look . " " I 've heard about it but I 've never seen it up close before . Someone wanted this man dead . More importantly they wanted him dead right here , right now . Dammit , I think a snake did this . " Cassidy hadn 't ' heard ' anything . She 'd been on a scouting trip to Morris a couple of years back . A particularly loud opponent of the increase in city taxes had gathered a small group behind him and there was talk of them taking arms against the patrols . Cassidy had spent the night in a local inn , the next morning the leader was found propped against his own back door , his stomach bloated and cracked , staring sightlessly into the forest . She 'd seen for herself what snake justice looked like . " That 's where they got him " , said Cassidy . " The snake must have been right behind him during the confusion . They have syringes hidden up their cuffs , it only takes a second and then . . . " " But why him and why in the middle of a lords - damned bar ? " , muttered Jacob . Cassidy noticed he was sweating profusely . She 'd have to keep an eye on him to make sure he wasn 't going into shock . " Two reasons spring to mind " said Frida . " They wanted this guy dead and they needed someone to pin it on . The Oasis is the perfect place , they just finger the poor saps who get stuck with the stiff . " " No , you 've got it backwards " , said Cass . " I don 't think this particular priest is important . You heard him , he was preaching chapter and verse . This guy lived for The Brotherhood . No , the important thing isn 't who he is . It 's what he is " Gravity shifted sideways , her unsteady hooves slipping on the heavily rutted ground . She had waited impatiently , gnawing at her saddle harness , aware of the Leercats circling out near the tree line . What had panicked her was a gust of wind that brought with it another strong scent ; she recognised the smell , leather , human sweat , men . Frida crouched on an overgrown ledge high up on the ancient man made Tor . The large cylindrical tower of rock and concrete had no entrance at ground level , whatever purpose it originally served or who built it was lost to time . Travellers had decorated the lower levels with hand painted signs and faded pennants , the upper levels covered with ivy . From her position , Frida had a view down towards her fidgeting horse and across the valley towards the track way , one of the dirt roads that followed the ancient routes across the country . Far off , she spied the array of carnival colours that were the trader 's horse drawn caravans moving slowly towards the distant town of Fairfield . She checked for the yellow chevron roof of the one she shared with the Brazingate family , allowing herself a smile when she spotted it . She had finished linking herself to the lash lines hidden in this Tor , lines that enabled communication across the outlands . She bent down to unplug two heavy glass and copper jars . Inside these wet batteries ; in the murky nutrient soup , the eels went limp , returning to their usual torpid state . She unclipped the wire from her ear , returning it to the copper discus shaped device in her hand . She 'd heard enough . Fairfield was safe , they were expected . There had been some fight at Cassidy 's , another preacher punch up . Nothing new , hardly unexpected given their popularity , she thought . It had been just after that message that she caught a muted dip in signal ; enough to tell her there were eavesdroppers on her line . As she packed she tried to pinpoint their location . She spotted them within seconds . In the wheat grass near a small tumulus were two figures ; one standing while the other appeared to be adjusting a spear , stuck hard into the earth . She cursed her luck ; she should have noticed the signal drop sooner . She packed everything into her backpack and prepared to climb down the Tor . When she reached the ground she received a gentle nudge and a snort of hot horse breath . Originally a gift from a friend , her horse was a mature mare with a heavy dark mane and steady gait . Frida intended to call her Mavis , but the name never stuck . Instead she rode on Gravity . She mounted the horse in a clumsy leap . " Light speed ! " she shouted , Gravity complied . Frida could feel the still warm Tap disc against her chest as she rode quickly to her rendezvous with the caravans . She kept it safe , close to her heart . As she galloped past them , the two eavesdroppers watched her impassively . She wished she had avoided the eavesdropper 's direct attention ; she hid her hair , she even bandaged her chest for convenience when riding . She hoped they thought she was a man and was relieved to see they did not follow her back to the track way . A spicy smell of hot suppers and boiled meat hung over the caravans by the time Frida had caught up with them . She rode past the armed outriders , acknowledging them with a quick wave . She weaved between the many large - wheeled caravans . Gravity slowed to a brisk trot to enable her to deliver her hand written messages to the various recipients . She had finished when the first tiny droplets of rain fell . Frida adjusted her hood . Fairfield was only an hour away , already visible , a jumble of undefined shapes with lanterns lit against the darkening sky . The storm had worsened by the time Frida arrived at Cassidy 's place . Heavy rain had washed the muddy streets into brown pools . Leaping down from Gravity , she ran over to her friend , excited and brimming with stories . She had amassed a collection from her travels , three months of tales to tell to anyone who had not been there when they happened . Cassidy was standing talking to an unknown man , whilst on the covered walkway nearby , her face catching the rain and legs poking over the edge sat a strange feral girl . By their feet , seated in the mud , resting his bruised head against a wooden post lay a Preacher . The Preacher continued muttering incoherently as the large man knelt beside him , offering a canteen of water . Frida realised her stories could wait . The Preacher stood up unsteadily , stumbled backwards in the slippery mud , hitting the wooden post before he collapsed . There was one final exhale of breath before his body became lifeless . Nobody moved until after Jacob had examined the man . " The preacher 's dead " he stated . Frida and Cassidy exchanged glances ; the injuries were hardly fatal . Frida noticed that the other witness , the outlander girl , had vanished . " This isn 't good , you two , " Cassidy indicated Jacob and Frida , " give me a hand . " There was a sudden explosion overhead , a bright , colourful bloom in the sky . From the main avenue the music continued to play as the celebratory fireworks exploded . No one noticed them carry the dead preacher inside . Stupid , weak - brained , half - made Ashdogs . Foolish things in this hell of buildings and spite - and now Nelya couldn 't see , eyes bleached by too much sun and sudden dark . And still not safe . If these places followed any proper , natural rule , going into the dark place would have left her safe and alone , not facing a crowd of angry tunnies . She 'd only wanted to trade . She hadn 't thought her attempts would be met with anger and violence . The traders the Godpeople had sent out now and again had never reported such a thing . Maybe she 'd done something wrong , crossed some taboo they had . So now she was crouched , catching her breath , facing angry crowds outside and inside , in a place that smelled like sick sweat and rotted fruit . Everything was off . She couldn 't run here , couldn 't climb , couldn 't even breathe or see like she should ; all she could tell was that the air was sticky with anger and hate . But not directed at her , not like the group when she 'd started trading , but at the two men she 'd rammed into , both wearing robes . The bigger one wasn 't the problem , but the smaller one . Everything about him screamed madness . Perhaps that was the reason for the anger . Madness did tend to enrage those who feared it . That made things worse . If the ones who had decided to chase her didn 't give up , this man 's madness and the anger in the bar could get her killed . Just as she decided to take her chances running back out of the bar and through this nightmare place the madman said something that sparked chaos . " You harbour Darklanders here ? You truly are in need of my salvation . " A breathless silence and then the crowd surged forward . A woman was running from the other side , shouting . Nelya darted under the table with animal grace . She would simply wait the fighting out . She couldn 't see or even hear much , hidden under the table , but she could hear enough to know the robed madman was still ranting , his foulness cutting over the woman 's more measured tones . A woman 's voice was raised in a strident shout - from what Nelya could hear over the sounds of a brawl , she was asking for calm . And in fact , it was working , the crowd returning to grumbling instead of shouts . No more smashing and crashing . The feet that moments ago had been running and skidding were steadying . She crawled out from her hiding place and stood up . The ranter was now silent . Good . Nelya ignored the crowd - the grumbling , the deliberate refusal to let her through with any ease - the immediate danger was past , and she had things she needed to do . It seemed like the shouting woman didn 't want her dead , which was good enough . Once she squeezed through the crowd , she waited until the woman , who was stood on top of a table , breathing hard , noticed her . It took a few minutes , but when it happened her face went strange and tight . He was sitting in The Oasis , the bar at the centre of the trading town , contemplating a mug of the thick , grainy beer they served there . He scratched at the stubble of his recently shaved head with his thick fingers . It was remarkable how a few small changes made all the difference : shaving his head , leaving his hood back , standing to his full height and walking with his arms loose by his sides instead of clasping his hands . . . people saw him merely as a big stranger and not as a missionary of the High . The man who walked into the bar was hiding nothing , though . He was a priest and proud of it , nothing wrong with that but these city preachers were so supercilious , so arrogant . Jacob had quickly realised the people in this town were suspicious and mistrustful of the High , some to the point of hatred . The burble of conversation around the bar petered to a pregnant quiet . Jacob couldn 't believe a local preacher would come here alone . As Jacob stood he loosened the bandaging on his arm but made sure to keep his tattoo out of sight , a subtle flash when he was closer should be enough to make the fool listen to some sense . To his left he heard a glass tankard smash , a handy makeshift weapon . He really had to get this idiot out of here before someone decided to make his trip to Heaven all the sooner . " Well ? Do I have any volunteers or do you all wish to remain forever Earthbound ? " A bottle flipped through the air from somewhere in the shadows at the rear of the bar . It smacked into the preacher 's forehead and ricocheted into the wooden doorframe . The bottle shattered and the man staggered back a step , clutching his head . A rattling wave of cruel laughter swept the room , almost covering the sound of footsteps thumping across the ceiling and down the back stairs . The girl on the watchtower above them must have seen the preacher coming , must have guessed what might happen ; if it was something more serious she would surely have rung the warning bell . The girl from the watch tower reached the bottom of the stairs then , quickly scanning the room , assessing the situation . Jacob 's eyes met hers and he could tell she was trying to work out whether he meant to help or harm . Years of farming difficult fields had built him big as a bullhorn , he abhorred violence but he looked dangerous . " It 's time for you to leave , I think . " Jacob said in a firm , low voice . " Suicide will not open Heaven 's gates . " The surprised priest thudded into Jacob 's chest and the girl span away into a crouch . She yelled something at them in a language Jacob didn 't understand , though from the tone it didn 't sound polite . The girl 's alarmed eyes flicked back and forth between the bright doorway and the dim interior , as if she couldn 't decide which held the worse fate . Cassidy sat with her scuffed boots hanging over the veranda . The luxury to sit on one 's rear end was a precious commodity in Fairfield , just like beer or bullets . Everyone was fighting to get some and you were lucky to enjoy either for very long . Conscious of the fragile nature of this brief interlude she gazed ahead at the back of her outstretched hands . Wiry black sigils wound their way around her fingers , across her palms and circled her wrists . Her father had told her they were her mother 's work . He used to mutter that they were her ' twisted idea of protection ' . Ironic really considering what the townsfolk would do if they could see her now . What they had already done to her dear mother down there in the courtyard all those years ago . She laid the rifle beside her and began to fish around in one of the crates beside her looking for a fresh bottle or two to speed things along . When none was forthcoming she flopped back with a sigh . Daywatch was laborious , long and hot . At least at night you had the cool breeze and the cover of darkness . Out here in the noon sun she was little more than a sweaty bullseye surrounded by empty beer bottles . If she peered out of the east gate she could see a small pack of leercats rolling and kicking in the dirt . This close to town the hum from the lines sent the damn things crazy . It was one of the unexpected safety features of civilisation . She 'd heard from a local wiretap that it was due to some sort of magnetic field given off by the unshielded wires . Even deep in the ground , the buzz came up through the earth and screwed up their senses . Most of them hung back by the ridge having already learned their lesson , others actually seemed to enjoy the sensation . Either way , they were lousy hunters when they got the urge to roll around in the dust and easy prey for a bored sniper on watch . She turned her attention to the Western gate . Of all the trouble that could come in from the east , it couldn 't compare with the trouble that came in through the western gate once a month . The western gate faced the towering edifice that was the City of Ironhaven . " All human life is here " she muttered under her breath . It was one of Ironhaven 's many motivational mottos . It blared out from huge speakers somewhere within the boundary . Some said it was found scrawled on the outside of the original city wall back before they started reinforcing it . Picking up the rifle again she peered down the sight at the western gate , the wavering mist of heat distorting the view along the road . She was about to move her attention back to the eastern gate when a figure began to resolve just beyond the curve of the road . As the figure neared the town she could make out a dark robe . Once a month Ironhaven elected to send a detachment of ' missionaries ' out to the poor heathens in the towns and outposts along the trade route . They were interested enough in bringing the towns under their wing but , from what she 'd heard , those that had signed up just became a little bit crazier and a great deal poorer all of a sudden . The preachers were always polite and well - behaved but they had a habit of stirring up the worst in the more traditionalist caravans . Despite being well received in Holden 's Ford and Morris , preachers were a cause for alarm in Fairfield . Cassidy could already feel the hairs prickling on the back of her neck . Minutes from now word from those stalls closest to the gate would reach the large stone building that represented the core territory of the Domarah elders in Fairfield . Even now , tiny figures sprinted behind the shacks and tents ; the eyes and ears of the elders . Cautious eyes peered out from behind darkened windows . The robed man strode cautiously along The Avenue , his face hooded from view , his hands held together loosely in front of him . Cassidy shuffled toward the edge of the veranda , peering down at the man as he disappeared beneath her feet and entered the bar . She tipped her head back , closed her eyes and counted . Cassidy winced as the unmistakeable sound of a glass tankard breaking against a bar table made its way up the stairs . The sight of a preacher was like a red rag to a bullhorn in Fairfield and as far as most were concerned The Oasis was sacred ground . As usual it 'd be up to her to stop the situation getting out of control . She allowed her head to loll forwards again and chucked the rifle on a pile of rags behind her seat . Reaching into her waistband she grabbed her leather gloves and dragged them on as she turned and made for the bar .
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This was originally intended to be the story of Kiwe up to the point of her joining the Rouge Legion . Unfortunately , only chapter one was ever published . It was written by Kiwe and originally posted here . In her mind that is all she needed nothing more , and nothing less but strength . As long as you had it there was nothing else you needed . Eventually she learned otherwise . When her way of life started to crack and shatter around her she would turn to an unlikely rag tag crew of others . ~ Author 's comment . I 'm home , she thought as she marched forward from the tunnel of furbolgs from Felwood into the lush snow filled world of Winterspring . Each step her feet were buried in several inches of snow and seeping into her shoes reminding her how short her legs were and how cold the environment really was . Being gone from her home so long has reminded her that not even the snows of Northrend were comparable to her old stomping grounds . For a minute she looked around taking the sites and remembering her past . Playing with the animals , other goblins her age and exploring the caves as the risk of her life . With a deep breath she released the tension from her body leaving a smile on her face . Digging into her pockets she pulled out a whistle pressed it against her lips and blew into it . The sound echoed off the mountains resonating to the sound . From the sky above a shadow formed and was closing in . The shadow touched down to the group to be a wyvern embroidered in red armor and walking toward her . With her hand stretched out she placed it on top of its head . " Are you ready to hit the skies , Calne ? " With a thunderous roar it bucked back showing her its back . " I guess so ! " Jumping on its back and pulling the reins and going into the air . The wind blowing against her face stung but she didn 't care : she was headed back home to see her friends , her family and to reminisce about old times prior to joining the struggle against Deathwing to save Azeroth . She encountered a lot of fearsome beasts and monsters during the struggle . In the end she finally had something to show in this still ongoing struggle : a pair of daggers forged from the creatures in Deathwings takeover of Wyrmrest Temple - a powerful set of daggers daggers that were said to possibly cause madness if not treated in the right hands . They weren 't finished yet but once they were they are said to be the most powerful weapons in existence . Looking around she got to see her home in the greatest point of view . She never thought she would get to see what she knew growing up in such a more majestic and amazing angle . After a while she finally got to see the settlement she was born in and grew up from , Everlook . " Calne , go down ! We 're here , " growling in understanding it started to descend to the ground next to the other wyverns where the attendant was tending to them . The middle aged man turned around and a smile started to form on his face . He walked forward placing his hands on his hips as the female goblin jumped down off her wyvern and meeting him half way . " Not right now , they went to Orgimmar to get some supplies . Go on inside and wait on them . They will be glad to see you after all this time . " " I 'll do just that . Thank you ! " grabbing her things off Calne sne walked under the archway and into Everlook . This would be the last few days she would be who she was , Adrina the goblin . With her bags on her back and looking around town an ease came over her . Some new faces but other than that nothing has changed . She also had to remind herself of her town 's neutrality as well . This was she seen a gnome talking to one of the villagers talking about one of her friends and yetis . The result afterwards was rather humorous . Not to mention either a High Elf or a Blood Elf moved in as well . He was talking fancy and was putting on quite the display . Beyond that her lovable hometown was just the same . She came up to a small hut , next to the inn and took a peek inside . Prone to what her parents were capable of the inside was a mess . Why am I not surprised at this ? Then again they are engineers at heart . she proceeded to go inside setting her bags on the ground and taking a set at an oil covered table making sure she didn 't dirty her clothing more than it already was . Being home for the first time in almost a full year has given her a sense of serenity that was missing from her life . The feeling of being home again was comforting . The sounds of nature , the sounds of machinery , the townspeople , the snow and the cold ; all of it was part of her and the heritage she thrived on . " Who 's there ? " it asked as tapping on the ground was made coming forward was a child . Auburn hair , light complexion , slender face and holding a crutch . It made its way around piled boxes then looked forward . " Calm down , it 's me . Adrina , " replying back softly making sure it was loud and audible . The small child 's face became to cheer up and a small formed on her face as she dropped the crutches and put her hands forward taking small steps and feeling around for obstacles . She finally felt her way around to the feel of warm flesh wrapping around it and squeezing as hard as she could . " Sis , it 's you ! It really is you ! I missed you so much . " Her voice started to get higher and more energetic while she continued to squeeze her sister . This was the kind of thing Adrina missed the whole time , the warmth of her family . The harsh dealings with everything she dealt with the past from Cho ' gall , Ragnaros , and the continuing fight with Deathwing himself proved a strong emotional toll on her . Something like this was just what she needed to beacon her back to sanity . " I missed you , too . " Adrina laughed as she put her arms around her embracing her as well . Rubbing her back then rising up into her hair ruffling it up then let go while her sister did the same . " About two days ago . The round trip is about that so they should be home in a couple of hours . I know they would be glad to see you again . " " They still don 't know yet . They say that someone must be pulling on my soul . They say it had something to do with the Twilight 's Hammer coming from Hyjal into Winterspring . " A while back during the fight with Cho ' gall and the Twilight 's Hammer cult some made their way into Winterspring causing terror trying to use elementals to destroy the environment there and any possible support that could be provided to the Alliance and Horde there . The place is still intact but with a few changes . The furbolgs lose a settlement or two , more hunters game into the area and there is a new pathway going into Hyjal from Winterspring . The damage done was problematic and not easily fixed . While Adrina wasn 't there to help defend it she did get firsthand accounts in letters from home talking about it . During one of the assaults the Twilight 's Hammer made a couple of people fell sick and lost considerable amount of strength . Adrina 's sister was one of them . People were making claims that they got ahold of some power to take away peoples souls and make a weapon out of it . People affected first lose their eyesight , their ability to walk , then finally the ability to breathe . " Don 't worry Sis , there wasn 't much you could do . Regardless of things I 'm glad you 're home though . How long will you be here ? " Adrina pulled out a chair and helped her sister sit down . They continued to have a pleasant conversation until their parents arrived home with the reagents for their rocket fuel . After a while the sun began to burn its light and leaving nothing but the moon in its wake . Their parents had yet to return and it was long past the few hours , and the two day round trip . Gyroscope swam down to the bottom of the lake . Even though he was using his GYROBLUB ( Gyroscope 's Bubble and Living Underwater Box ) he held his breath . The body hit right in the middle of the lake and would have sunk straight down . There he is ! Gyroscope swam towards the mass of bones and cloth . He was looking up , almost right at him , with his back just touching the ground . Gyroscope didn 't bother trying to repress a shudder . Gyro waved his hand in front of the face . No response . He tapped the shoulder . No response . Finally he pulled off the hood . The head seemed close to coming off with the hood . Gyroscope stared through the empty eye sockets for a full minute , taking his time to grasp the truth . He 's dead … I … did it … I killed Haileaus ! Gyroscope resurfaced . He stared blankly at Rfeann . " Hail 's dead . It seems parts of his body detached upon impact , though I managed to find most of it . " Gyroscope pulled the hood from his bag , " Here - It wouldn 't fit me . " Haileaus hated meetings , much less setting them up . If it were up to him , he 'd just lead everything by himself . But then that wasn 't how the Legion worked , and it was not in his best interest to change things . " While they 're gone I say we discuss some changes to our security and meeting locations . The Legion will want answers quickly and it 's up to us to provide them . " Haileaus sat down on the ground . " Alright , so we have Gyroscope and Weran . Let 's send word to Sheevah and Rfeann . Also Pajamas should come over with some security . We 'll meet in the master bedroom in 17 minutes regardless . " Haileaus walked into the bedroom . Gyroscope , Weran , and Rfeann were waiting for him , sitting on the bed which was against the left wall . The glass wall directly ahead faced south . It was midday , and with the curtains pulled back anyone entering the room would be met with a blast of sunlight . Against the wall to the right was a wardrobe which held pocket - dimension Heartcrusher created to hold zombies which would tear anything with a soul to pieces , spreading out until they fell apart . Haileaus found himself wondering whether the people in the room with fully functioning noses could smell the ghouls . " Alright , let 's get this over with . I guess Sheevah and Pajamas aren 't coming . I suppose I should explain what happened after the ambush to Rfeann since he so selflessly decided to lead the retreat . " Haileaus sighed . " Anyway , the group was cultists from some sort of shadow dimension Heartcrusher had dealings with . We … dealt with the intruders here , but Heart , Vere , and Caera are going to pay them a visit to finish sorting things out . We don 't know when or if they will return . Questions ? " " Oh . Well because we have to keep things under control and assure the members of the Rouge Legion that everything is taken care of . " Weran raised his hand . " No Weran , stay . Mark your territory here if you need to . " The door slammed open . Through it staggered a Blood Elf . Blood flowed freely from a wound in her right leg . More concerning , the left side of her head had been slashed . Deeply . Her red hair was matted with blood , and one of her ears had come clean off . It was Pajamas . " Inckkggg ! " she said , as a dagger sprouted from her chest . Haileaus and his companions leapt up to kill the intruder , but as Pajamas fell , the assassin was revealed . A female goblin , wearing old Alliance Legionnaire 's armor . For the first time in 98 . 7 years , Haileaus balked . Needless to say the other 's did too . Unfortunately , Sheevah did not balk , but instead threw three knives soaked in Gyroscope 's Fast - Acting Paralytic Poison ( GYROFAPP ) . One hit Rfeann , who quickly became useless . The other two hit Weran , who just as quickly got pissed and began attacking the bedside table . Haileaus proceeded to attack Sheevah , while Gyroscope studied the effect of two doses of GYROFAPP on a Worgan . He had expected two doses would induce unconsciousness before the " Worgan confusion " side - effect could be seen . Soon enough Weran hit the floor drooling over his conquest , and Gyroscope got up . Time to finish this . Gyroscope lunged for the pair . Haileaus saw it coming a mile away . He threw down some flash powder and grabbed two talismans from one of his pockets . He threw them at his unconscious comrades and they were teleported to Heartcrusher 's upstairs lab . Hail noted with satisfaction that Gyro and Sheevah were still looking for him . They found him . Hail fought well , but with two highly skilled opponents he couldn 't play offense . Finally he saw an opening . The force of Haileaus 's kick sent Gryo flying across the room . Sheevah , visibly tired , managed to disengage , just in time to get out of the way of Gyro 's grenade . Just before Haileaus broke through the glass , he threw one last special throwing knife . It sunk into the wardrobe and exploded . Haileaus fell into the lake listening to the music of screaming zombies . In the abandoned sunken slaughterhouse in Quel ' thalas , two orbs shattered . Underneath the lake , darkness bloomed in Haileaus 's eyes . He stayed under for a day , letting his body recover and he searching for his hood . He left the water knowing what he had to do : Find my hood . Kill whoever took it . Find out what happened to Gyro and Sheevah . Hail decided to start by sneaking into the Rouge Legion 's secondary headquarters . Usually entering the building undetected would be nearly impossible , but Haileaus could teleport there through Heartcrusher 's closet . A short walk and an uncomfortable dimensional squish later and Hail was consuming the ichor of some helpful ghouls . After he had his fill , he went to the meeting room , attached himself to the ceiling ( being undead comes in handy for such things ) and waited for the next meeting . Fortunately , that only took 9 days . After being dead or worse for over two weeks , Haileaus could confidently say it was the most interesting meeting he 'd been to that didn 't include murder . More importantly , it was the first proper meeting since he died , so Hail was able to get a great deal of information . Caera , Heartcrusher , and Verelyse were still gone . Gyroscope was at the meeting . Sheevah had gone missing , the last person to see her was Gyro . The other base was overridden by ghouls . Haileaus and Pajamas were the only casualties . Most importantly , Haileaus learned that Rfeann had his hood ! He even showed it as proof , saying that Gyro had pulled it from the lake Hail fell in . When the meeting was over Haileaus stalked his prey . He decided that since Gyro had taken it from the water , he wouldn 't kill Rfeann , but he had to recover his hood ASAP - a classy hat is good for a lot of things , but revenge isn 't one of them . WHAP ! Haileaus knocked Rfeann out cold , grabbed his hood , took one long look at Rfeann 's hat , and left . In truth , Haileaus had always distrusted Gyroscope a lot more than he distrusted most people . As such , he knew where Gyro was likely to be . Just a quick little murder , I 'll wait for Gyro to enter , sneak up on him , and kill him before he knows . Haileaus liked silent assassination . There was a charm to it . Nay , a beauty to it . As he was contemplating this , he noticed a small figure approaching from the distance . Could it be Gyro already ? It wasn 't . It was a bruised , cut , and highly murderous Sheevah . Huh , I wonder what she 's up to … . When Sheevah was about 10 feet from the building she threw four GYROBOOMs at the door . She thought she heard a curse and saw a shadow move just before the blast , but Sheevah didn 't care . She knew Gyroscope was inside , and that was all that mattered . She kept walking , throwing vials containing a mixture of paralytic , confusing , and sleeping gas . Even one vial would have been enough to incapacitate a tauren in a room that size . As Sheevah walked through the door she took a deep breath . She 'd build up so much resistance that all she felt was a slight tingle . It calmed her , sharpened her . Spinning blades came rushing towards her , but Sheevah dodged them easily - that trap was more designed for larger races anyway . She looked around , but there were no more traps . Only Gyroscope lying on the floor . She walked over and kicked him - No response . She poked his eye - nothing . She checked his pulse - slow , but steady . Good . " Ah good , you 're awake . If you feel a pain in your left arm it 's probably because I used a large dosage on you and you are getting a heart attack . " Sheevah put the needle away . " While you were out I decided to take a look around your lab . I must say , I 've always been curious about what goes into making your inventions . " She walked over to Gyroscope and poured just enough acid onto his head to melt off his hair and give him a nice burn . " I see you haven 't shared all of your inventions with the Legion . Like this … ' GYROCRUSH 3000 ' ? ' Guaranteed to destroy even the most durable of trash ' . That 's a mighty strong claim , maybe we should test it out . " Sheevah took a fancy - looking gadget from a workbench . " What 's this ? " " No , you can 't … that 's almost done ! " At that Sheevah smiled sweetly . " It 's my latest invention , the Gyroscope 's PhasEr Weapon ! Please , don 't destroy it , you can have it if you want , but don 't let my - " Sheevah tossed it into the GYROCRUSH 3000 . Gyroscope watched in horror as it sailed through the air . The lid closed . Flames leaked out and the smashing of metal could be heard . " NO GYROPEW ! ! ! ! ! " " Hmm , a successful test , but that was pretty small . Let 's try something bigger shall we . What next … oh my , what do we have here ? Has someone been lonely ? " Sheevah picked up a metallic arm . " Of course , ' professional ' can refer to any one of my professions . It 's too bad you Goblins have such skinny necks , any other race would have their throat crushed instantly . Oh well , I 've always though suffocation would suit you . " Sheevah stumbled over to Gyroscope , punched him in the face ( leaving a chemical burn and inducing some extra dizziness ) . She then grabbed a vial from her pocket and poured it on the hand , which promptly dissolved and released its grip . Sheevah considered it for a moment before tossing it into the GYROCRUSH 3000 . Gyroscope let out a cry as the flames consumed it . Sheevah had already picked her next target . She picked up a model of an aircraft . Painted on the side in white , read ' SHADOW BLADE ' . The rest was black . The wings each had blades on them - sharp ones . Sheevah could tell Gyroscope put a lot of care into this . When she picked it up , Gyroscope let out a feint whimper . " Please , no , anything but that . I 'll tell you anything , I 'll do anything , just … don 't destroy Shadow Blade . Not again … . " It was time to get some answers . Sheevah turned to Gyroscope . " Oh I 'll destroy it all right , but when I do will depend on how well you answer some questions . First , why did you turn against the Legion ? " Gyroscope sighed and looked up - not at Sheevah , but at Shadow Blade , as if it were his child , about to leave him forever . " Because the Legion ruined me . Before I joined , I had a cause . A direction . I fought for the Alliance , I created for the Alliance . With Shadow Blade I had both the power to make a difference , and the freedom to go anywhere I wanted . I was a champion . And then … well then the Horde attacked , and I rushed to defend . Shadow Blade and I cleaved through the enemy , but then she got hit . She fell , and to survive I had to abandon her . I managed to clear out the Horde around me , save for one Blood Elf . Cloaked . We fought , until finally she disengaged . She told me this had been a test . Haileaus was there too . They told me about the Legion , and asked me to join . They said the Legion transcends Horde and Alliance . I looked around me at the fighting going on . At Shadow Blade , smoldering . The Alliance was winning , but I realized I didn 't care . For me , the battle was lost the moment Shadow Blade went down . I felt anger , not at the Horde for killing her , but at the Alliance for letting them . I joined partially because I thought the Legion could open up new opportunities for me , and partially because I wanted the Alliance to realize just how much they needed me . " At first I thought I 'd done the right thing by joining . Unlike the Alliance , the Legion never expected me to give , and never told me what to make . It invigorated me . I worked harder than ever before on my inventions and loved the reception they got . A year after I joined I 'd already asserted myself as a vital member of the Legion . On the anniversary of Shadow Blade 's death , Haileaus approached me with a mission . He said the Alliance was designing a weapon that had the potential to wipe out the Horde entirely . Something about using Gnomish mind - control technology to induce madness . He explained that the elimination of such an army would leave Azeroth open to attacks that neither faction alone could face . He told me with my knowledge of the Alliance and engineering and my strength at infiltrating , I was the perfect - and only - person he could trust to complete the mission . Of course I accepted it . " It was only after I had completed the mission that I learned the mission was a test . The base I destroyed was a subsection of Heartcrusher 's lab . The guards and workers on - sight were under the illusion that they were guarding the King . The engineers I 'd assassinated in their beds , next to their loved ones , had no knowledge of the project . Haileaus made me kill so many innocents just to see if I still had ties to the Alliance . That 's when I turned against the Legion . Because while they gave me their appreciation , they took from me so much more . They made me someone who would blindly accept a mission . Someone who would murder my former colleagues in cold blood . Someone who would trust a monster . The Legion is a bunch of selfish , greedy individuals , who are only together because it helps them accomplish their own goals better . And I joined them , leaving my people dying on a battlefield . " Sheevah yawned . " Next question , and please try to keep the answer shorter , why me ? I assume could have mind - controlled any member of the Legion . Why not Weran , or Backstabi or Snoz , or Relikar ? Or Haileaus himself ? " " It is harder to determine the effects of mind control on undead , since their essence does not necessarily reside in their brains . As for the others , I decided I had done enough damage to the Alliance races . I figured even if you couldn 't kill Hail yourself , you 'd stay alive long enough for me to finish it . And , if Hail killed you , then all the better - I 've always hated you . " " Thanks . " Sheevah put Shadow Blade on the ground pointing towards Gyroscope . She then smiled , picked up a toolbox , and slammed it down on the model until it was indistinguishable . Sheevah watched in satisfaction as Gyroscope sobbed . " Oh Gyro , you never told me you had a child ! Hey Lissa , I 'm Sheevah . Why don 't you come here and give your Auntie a hug ? " When Lissa didn 't move , Sheevah moved to grab him . Lissa responded by screaming , grabbing Sheevah 's hair , and kicking violently . They rolled around . Lissa was , of course , stronger , but Sheevah had armor and had managed to get one of her daggers out . Finally Sheevah managed to stab something critical and Lissa was reduced flailing about blindly . Sheevah took out a vial of acid and held it over Lissa . Drip . Hiss . Drip . Hiss . Drip . GRAHH ! It seemed during the tussle Sheevah or Lissa had kicked one of Shadow Blade 's wings towards Gyroscope , who had managed to use it to escape - then as a throwing knife . Sheevah dropped the vial , leapt at Gyroscope , and drew her daggers . Gyro dove for his desk . He grabbed his daggers and a device . Then he disappeared . Sheevah knew he was gone . She screamed , swore , and began tearing apart the lab . Then something smelly grabbed her arm , she felt an uncomfortable squish , and suddenly was in Heartcrusher 's lab , watching a fleeing Gyroscope . She didn 't lunged at him , not even bothering to question what happened or who brought her there . Haileaus watched Sheevah and Gyroscope fight . He was glad Gyroscope had managed to get armed , because they the two were quite well matched . Well , Gyroscope would of course win in a fair fight , but if one of Sheevah 's blades so much as scratched Gyroscope , Sheevah 's venom would end the fight . Actually , it seemed Sheevah might not need her venom . Gyroscope was steadily backing up . Finally , he got desperate . He dropped his dagger and threw a flash bomb , then ran towards a portal labeled , ' FORBIDDEN ! DO NOT ENTER ! BACK AWAY ! BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU GO THROUGH HERE ! ' in 37 languages . Gyroscope ran through . Sheevah followed . Haileaus watched , somewhat disappointed that he couldn 't see what would happen . Oh well . He 'd as Heartcrusher later . The next meeting Haileaus watched from afar . Nobody in this space - time knew his was alive , and Hail liked it that way . He saw old members - Rfeann , Aeriwen , Backstabi , and a few others step up and assert themselves . Yet so many were missing . Heartcrusher , Verelyse , and Caera were still missing . Celinne , Cloaked , Kiwe , Twitch … so many others were either gone for good or had faded into the shadows . Haileaus saw others he had not known well stepping up . Relikar , Kain , Hassen … so many new names . Gyroscope swam down to the bottom of the lake . Even though he was using his GYROBLUB ( Gyroscope 's Bubble and Living Underwater Box ) he held his breath . The body hit right in the middle of the lake and would have sunk straight down . There he is ! Gyroscope swam towards the mass of bones and cloth . He was looking up , almost right at him , with his back just touching the ground . Gyroscope didn 't bother trying to repress a shudder . Gyro waved his hand in front of the face . No response . He tapped the shoulder . No response . Finally he pulled off the hood . The head seemed close to coming off with the hood . Gyroscope stared through the empty eye sockets for a full minute , taking his time to grasp the truth . He 's dead … I … did it … I killed Haileaus ! Gyroscope resurfaced . He stared blankly at Rfeann . " Hail 's dead . It seems parts of his body detached upon impact , though I managed to find most of it . " Gyroscope pulled the hood from his bag , " Here - It wouldn 't fit me . " 10 HOURS EARLIER Haileaus hated meetings , much less setting them up . If it were up to him , he 'd just lead everything by himself . But then that wasn 't how the Legion worked , and it was not in his best interest to change things . " While they 're gone I say we discuss some changes to our security and meeting locations . The Legion will want answers quickly and it 's up to us to provide them . " They both nodded . Haileaus sat down on the ground . " Alright , so we have Gyroscope and Weran . Let 's send word to Sheevah and Rfeann . Also Pajamas should come over with some security . We 'll meet in the master bedroom in 17 minutes regardless . " 16 MINUTES LATER Haileaus walked into the bedroom . Gyroscope , Weran , and Rfeann were waiting for him , sitting on the bed which was against the left wall . The glass wall directly ahead faced south . It was midday , and with the curtains pulled back anyone entering the room would be met with a blast of sunlight . Against the wall to the right was a wardrobe which held pocket - dimension Heartcrusher created tPosted in Rouge Legion The story of how Gyroscope became involved with the Rouge Legion . As of this time only the first chapter has been released , which was posted on the official forums by Gyroscope but then removed . The version posted here is a revised version , which is more in line with the rules of the legionverse . All versions are authored by Gyroscope ; illustration by Patrick Best . " Hyah ! " Gyroscope leapt through the air at the target dummy , both blades pointed forward toward it 's middle . With a satisfying feel of resistance , the blades sunk into the dummy right in the kill zone . Gyro brushed the sweat off his forehead and yanked the blades out of the dummy . Hopefully this time it will have been good enough for master Tanto . " Not good enough ! " Dammit . " You 're still flailing about in the air . A good way to catch a stray arrow or blow to the legs , wouldn 't you agree ? " Master Tantojutsu , a wizened old gnome and revered instructor of the rogueish arts in Ironforge , had hand - picked Gyroscope from a long list of recruits . And Gyroscope was beginning to regret it . " I 'm trying , but I just lose focus on anything but my blades and the target ! " Gyro snapped back . This was his 56th attempt at the move so far , and despite his progress , each failure felt as bad as the last . " You lack discipline ! You must be aware of much more in a fight . Your entire being as well as your blades , not to mention your opponent , and most importantly your surroundings . For every seen enemy , two more lurk in the shadows . Remember this , and maybe you 'll make a decent rogue one day ! " Tanto then tossed a throwing dagger at him , aiming at his non - vitals . This was one of his favorite tricks in his training routines , meant to help the students be cautious and alert . With a flourish Gyroscope 's right hand swung and knocked the dagger into a wooden support beam to the side of the training area . " I know that , but it 's easier said than done , " Gyro grumbled . " It 's kind of hard to do that when " was all he managed to get out . A loud BOOM rocked the caverns , and a shower of pebbles fell from the ceiling on the pair of gnomes . Gyroscope 's head snapped to his teacher , who dismissed him with a quick " Go , they will need you . " He nodded and sprinted out of the training area , skidding along the smooth stone floors as he raced towards the hangars . Running down the rough stone shortcut to the hangar , he could see cracks forming in the walls and ceiling , some wide enough to stick his hand into . With a shake of his head he darted around the next corner out into the main passageways , a surge of adrenaline rushing through him . BOOM . Not again ! Another shockwave nearly tripped him as he slid into the hangar . He quickly leaped into the cockpit of his own personal warplane , which he called the Shadow Blade , and hit the ignition . Its black color and sharp - as - steel wings had been the bane of many horde parties in the Dun Morogh area in the past , and today was looking to be no different . Clenching his teeth , Gyro hit the accelerator and blasted out of the mountainside , leaving behind a wake of rags and overturned tool carts . Gyroscope nosed the Shadow Blade into a quick spiral , gaining altitude as well as a better view of the fighting below . He noticed the source of the shockwaves immediately : Horde siege tanks , back behind an entire legion of Orc and Undead warriors . The thinner lines of Dwarven guards were holding them back for now , and the Gnomish siege engines dotted along the mountainside were helping , but the outcome was looking grim . Looking to the wooden support beams on the enemy siege tanks , he set the Shadow Blade in a nosedive . A few yards from the ground , he pulled up , almost immediately flying level to the ground . Yet another reason not to trust a Dwarf with Gnomish technology he thought as he laughed aloud . The Orcs and Undead saw him flying low above them , and a few even tried swinging their axes at him , but it was too late . With a quick jerk on the yolk , the Shadow Blade 's right wing sliced through the support beams on the first siege tank . Success ! With a grin , he made quick work of the rest of them , then set out to see if he could use the blades just as effectively on some of the warriors below . After turning the Shadow Blade in a quick arc , Gyroscope lined up the plane with the left flank of Orc warriors when suddenly something whizzed right at him . With a sharp Clang something had lodged itself in the left engine , causing smoke to trail the craft . This low to the ground , there was no way he could regain control in time , or even set it down somewhere to make repairs with the battle raging nearby . With a cry of anguish , Gyroscope flicked the emergency release and was launched a good 50 feet into the air , watching his plane crash into the ground . My greatest creation and best weapon , felled by a mere throwing star . Someone 's going to pay dearly . He pulled out his daggers and cut the lines to the parachute and dropped toward the ground . At the last second the rocket jets in his boots ignited , slowing his fall right before the ground , and he dropped landing in a puff of snow . Orcs and Undead alike gasped with awe , then grinned and surrounded the gnome . So I 'm just an easy target , eh ? I 'll show them how wrong they are ! Crimson blood flashed through the air from the first Orc 's neck before it even knew what hit it , and the second had a deep gash in its chest soon after . With a shout the remaining Orcs and Undead charged forward , and with a gurgle they slumped to the ground . So pathetic . Wiping the blood off of his daggers on an Undead warrior 's sleeve , he turned to walk away when he heard a familiar whizzing sound past his ear . Looks like my assailant has decided to show up after all . With a quick backflip and a firm grip on his weapons , he looked to his opponent through the trees . A blood elf here , amongst all these Orcs and Undead ? The elf , with reddish hair and a look of confidence on her face , stood opposite him in a small clearing , all the other Orcs and Undead long gone after seeing what had happened to their friends . " No match ? I 'll show you ! " Gyroscope rushed at the blood elf , the rage of losing the Shadow Blade fueling his strikes . She matched his attacks stab for stab , even scoring a few cuts along his arms and a deep gash in his thigh , until Gyro tried for a quick kick to the ribs . The blood elf sidestepped his attack , but before Gyroscope could react she knocked one of his daggers out of his hand into a nearby snowbank . As soon as the blade left his hand , a small light on the back of his gloves started to blink . Within a few seconds the blinking increased to a solid glow , and the dagger suddenly shot out of the snowbank right back into Gyro 's hand with a solid Clink . A good thing I finished these prototypes the other day , and even better the magnets in the hilts and on the gloves still stick ! A quick flick of his wrist and a small jet burst from the dagger brought his arm around just in time to block a downward slash from the blood elf . " Time to go all out ! " With that the jets on Gyroscope 's blades flared into life , nearly flying out of his hands . Gyro struck out against the blood elf , now with significantly faster strikes and stabs . The blood elf grunted and swung back hard . Ducking underneath her swing , Gyro stabbed back , only to have her other blade swing down to block his attack . After a few more swings of their blades clashing , the blood elf jumped back , holding her blades at the ready . Gyroscope took advantage of this and jumped back , doing a backflip in midair . Before his boots hit the ground , the jets inside them roared alight , launchhing him forward to meet his foe . He brought his blades up to stab her , just the way he was training earlier . It will all be over soon . Or so he thought . The blood elf flashed a smirk , and then she was gone . Gyroscope gasped , it was too late for him to change his attack or even change trajectory at this point . She reappeared underneath him and spun in midair . Oh crap , not this again . Her leg connected with Gyro 's , sending him spiraling into the branches of a nearby tree . " I am the reason you are here . " The voice came from the shadows of the trees around the clearing , and within those shadows emerged an undead in a dark cloak and a hood . " It 's come to our attention that you are a rogue with notable skills , and surviving your match with Caera certainly helped your case . I extend to you an invitation to join the Rouge Legion . " " Rouge Legion ? Certainly you mean Rogue ! Wait , why am I even listening to you , you 're probably behind this attack on the city ! " Gyroscope leapt down from the branches , grunting and falling over in the soft snow . Gyroscope grunted a thanks as the undead spoke again ; " While it may not be aptly named , the Legion has its purpose , one we believe you could be of use for . We strive to control the balance of order and chaos in this world , and our observation tells us you have a keen sense of judgment . Caera can fill you in on the way back to headquarters . " The first story about the Rouge Legion and its resolution . Book 1 is by Cloaked , and is exactly the same as his earlier tale . Books 2 and 3 are by Haileaus . The original story is here . Minor edits were made transferring the post to this site in the effort to undo any damage done by the swear filter used on the official WoW forums . The tanned , black - haired blood elf , Verelyse , stands from her seat and walks over to the table in front of the prisoner . " A human female with dark skin and red hair … " Verelyse nods . " Identity confirmed . Caera , it looks like we 've got our suspect . " Verelyse 's hand settles on the gnome 's shoulder . " Settle down , Gyro ; we 've still got plenty of questions for this one . " Gyro spits on the prisoner and jumps off of the table . Snoz gives the prisoner what is perhaps the coldest glare that has ever been given before wandering off elsewhere . Meanwhile , a goblin begins inspecting the prisoner 's belongings . " Heeey , she 's got some mon ' nay ! " says the money - hungry rogue , pocketing a significant amount of gold . " Sheevah 's gonna be riiich , Sheevah 's gonna be riiich … " she sings quietly and happily . The other rogues clear a path as he walks through . Despite her grievous rogue training , the only thing the prisoner can gather about him was that his eyes were dark , devoid of any soul or emotion . She tries her best to maintain her composure . " I see many things … " The forsaken rogue continues to approach her slowly , staring her intently into her eyes . She is gradually becoming more confused - more afraid . A low exhale can be heard from behind Haileaus ' mask ; afterwards , his face slowly turns to Caera . " That … is what makes a rogue . " He turns and returns to his corner of the room . The prisoner 's shoulders relax . " I 've heard of you … I 've heard of all of you ! Verelyse , Caera , Backstabi , Gyroscope , Haileaus , Sheevah , and Snitz … " " S - Snoz ! " the rogue looks around and observes all of the fierce presences , both aggressive and rational , that she has seen . " You are … The Rouge Legion … The Rouge Legion is real ? ! " " WAIT A MINUTE ! " yells a high - pitched voice from above . Through a secret opening in the roof , a pale , dark - haired blood elf falls , flips once , and lands lightly on the table . She looks up , and her gaze is immediately fixed onto Keorics . " You … " Cloaked 's brow furrows and her eyes become ferocious . She grabs her dagger from a sheath on her hip and holds it up to Keroics ' chin . " Would you like to see ? " " Hah , as if . You probably couldn 't even kill me all tied - up like this ! You , of all the members , have no notable credentials . " Cloaked looks at Keroics for a while before returning her dagger to its sheath . " You 're right : nobody knows of anything Cloaked has done . Cloaked 's name is but a word to most . " Cloaked turns around and walks away from the table . " And soon , yours will be nothing more than a memory . " " Cloaked ! " Backstabi yells ; Cloaked quickly turns to find a knife being hurled at high velocity in her direction . With a minor repositioning of her head , she catches the knife with her teeth . " FOOL ! " Cloaked throws the knife swiftly ; it cuts a small lock of Keroics ' hair off . " There is only one Cloaked . There are not three . " " Hmph . Cloaked is too busy for these ' interpretations . ' Cloaked will be … somewhere . " Cloaked takes a few steps back and gradually disappears into the darkness . Cloaked steps out of the dark corner angrily , then finds one at another part of the room . " Cloaked will be … somewhere . " She slowly backs into the dark corner . Cloaked , now completely frustrated , heads to another corner of the room . Before she can reach halfway , a familiar voice yells out . " Don 't even come over here . This is the 2000 + corner , no PvE heroes allowed . " " DAMMIT ! FINE ! Cloaked will go upstairs ! " Like a child who just had their bottle taken away , Cloaked stomps through the Rouge Legion and heads up the wooden stairs . Keorics struggles to contain her laughter . " So , this is a typical day for the Rouge Legion , huh ? You guys aren 't nearly as tough as all the rumors say . " " ENOUGH ! " yells a deep , rough voice ; Keroics suddenly feels a strong presence behind her . " Keroics … you WILL tell us … EVERYTHING you know … " The worgen man from behind her growls in a low tone . Haileaus once again emerged from his dark corner , this time wearing a black hat . " Now , now , let 's be civil . You look thirsty , how about a glass of water . " Haileaus broke the silence . " Where are the hunters now ? Do they know anything ? Are you in contact with them now ? Be warned , if you are being dishonest I will know . " " I have not been in contact with them since the letter . It instructed that we meet six days from today , at which point I was to give them any information I had and we would proceed from there . I do not know where they are , and have no way of contacting any of them until the designated day . I can only assume they are ignorant of my and your whereabouts . " This time it was Snoz who spoke . " Well , I think we will all agree you were quite cooperative Keorics . Then again I suppose Twitch may be the one to thank in this case . Clearly your abilities are impressive if you were able to find us , so on behalf of the Rouge Legion I give you a choice . You may die in a very painful way , or you may pledge yourself to the Legion , and perhaps make a name for yourself - after a series of trials of course . " " We shall start the trial immediately then . Gyroscope , would you be so kind as to fetch Heartcrusher ? You seem to be able to stomach his experiments better than most . " " Usually we wouldn 't do this test till later , but it seems a lot of people wanted for it to be pushed up . You must survive for five minutes in combat with a member of the Legion . Choose one . " SLAP ! " Do you see her her ? No . Why ? Because she 's on a mission . Now use your eyes and choose ! Oh and by the way you may also choose me . " Keorics considered the choices . She needed a strong member of the Legion , but one she was sure she 'd be able to kill . Simply surviving would not be enough . Sheevah … wait , she 's the one who picked my pocket ! But no it 's too obvious of a choice . Still I 'm sure I could take her , she 's nothing more than a thief . Another one Keorics didn 't recognize - a human male with black hair … perhaps , but judging by the way he is keeping his distance from Backstabi I worry he may be too easy . Or Backstabi may not be so weak after all . Either way I should avoid them both . A worgan male was next . He wore a headband and shoulders with what looked like antlers coming out of them … Looks fierce , but I can probably take him . Definitely a possibility . Another human male . It seems he got his hood from the same source as Haileaus , though this one was less intimidating . From the way he held himself Keorics knew he was confident that he was among the best of what he does , and what he does is kill … I think I 'll pass on this one . As soon as Keorics finished Weran rushed forward , blades raised . He moved to stab Keorics with his right , reserving the left for any parrying necessary . Keorics stumbled back and managed to dodge to Weran 's right . When he turned around , Keorics was going for a counter - attack , holding both blades low but too wide in an attempt to strike just under the ribs . Weran stepped forwards and parried both blades , while at the same time kicking her in the chest towards an old pair of green antlers that hung on the wall . Keorics slammed into the antlers , and to everyone 's surprise the antlers went straight through her . In fact , they almost seemed to grow . Once the light faded from Keorics eyes Weran removed Keorics 's body from the antlers and dropped it on the ground . He then carefully inspected the antlers . They appeared to be undamaged , and very sharp . " I , Weran , claim these antlers as mine . Anybody who contests can fight me . " Any potential responses were cut short by six Legionguards running into the room . One spoke . " A band of hunters has breached our defenses ! All we know is they are strong , I 'm not sure how many of us ar - ACK ! " He dropped clawing at an arrow in his throat . Madsushi raised his axes , quickly deflecting an arrow with his right while bringing his left down , slicing deep into the neck of a frostsaber . At the same time he brought the first axe down to prepare for his next strike , but on the way an arrow ricocheted off if it and struck him in the base of the neck . As he dropped , another arrow sunk into his chest , and he fell on the frostsaber , their necks crossing as they breathed their last breaths . " Idiots . " Ippon muttered under his breath as he saw another member get crushed by a bear . He threw his last knife , nailing a hunter in the eye . Then he swung down , and began cutting down the hunters around him . A knife grazed his cheek - one thrown by a fellow member of the Legion . " WATCH IT YOU USELESS FOOL ! " He the culprit , and send both his daggers under her ribcage , pitched up so they entered the lungs . At the same time three arrows in sunk into Ippon 's back with resounding thuds . As he turned back to face his opponent one of the arrows in his back exploded . As Ippon fell , his last word slithered out of his mouth with such venom that would make a lion whimper . " Idiots … . " Weran managed to get himself into a fight with the two remaining hunters , parrying , dodging , and striking in such a blur that the other members of the Legion were worried they might hit Weran if they decided to help . All of a sudden both at once keeled over , dead , with axes sticking out of their backs . Standing behind them was a tall night elf with blue hair covered by a brown hat . " Sorry I 'm late guys , glad you didn 't finish without me . " For the first time in anyone 's memory Haileaus raised his voice . Darkness flared out of where his eyes should be , through the slits covering his " STOP YOUR USELESS TALKING AND LISTEN TO WORDS THAT ACTUALLY COUNT ! " Silence . " Now I 'm clearly not as surprised as the rest of you since I reject useless emotions , but still I 'm surprised a group of the most elite killers can 't handle something like that . Yes , hunters appear to have blindsided us , killed some of our members , and made our false headquarters a bit more risky . But looking around me I see that the members that can hold their own are still here . So , let 's accept we got some fat cut out of our ranks and reap bloody vengeance . " " Hail 's right , " Verelyse said , " ' Only two kinds of people die in battle - the stupid , and the unlucky . ' We can 't afford to have either of those among our ranks . That said , an attack on the Rouge Legion cannot go unpunished . If you truly are a member of the Legion , then you will leave behind any who died and come with me to start planning . " As she walked away , the high - pitched voice of Gyroscope spoke up . " We may be able to trace the hunters ' tracks back to their lair . As I am obviously qualified and likely have the most contacts of all of us , I think it is best that I go . You know how to contact me . " Before anyone could respond , he jumped out the closest window . Leitka checked the time on her GYroscope 's ROuge Legion mUltipurpuse Device 9600 ( GYROLUD ) . Twenty - seven seconds . She scanned the treetops . A glimmer of light from a nearby tree caught her eye and adrenaline and surged through her , until she realized it was just the reflection off the grinning Kiwe 's dagger . Leitka winked at her . She checked the time again . Three … two … she pressed the COMM button , set to Haileaus 's channel … one … " Leitka set . " " It 's Caera . Gyro 's voice is too high - pitched so I took it from him . This tree is pretty sturdy . I 'm starting to think druids may be involved . Give us a few minutes . " " Still in position , Hail . Sorry we can 't give you something to worry about . Maybe make sure Verelyse and Heartcrusher aren 't … distracted ? " Haileaus grumbled , Rogare laughed , and Tanto clapped a hand over his companion 's mouth . Suddenly a hissing erupted from under them . Canisters started coming in through the windows . " Bubbles " picked one up . " Who 's Cloaked ? " then it exploded and the hunters learned exactly how poisonous the gas was . But aside from that one hunter it was oddly quiet . Snozy waited . Out of the corner of her eye she noticed a shift in the scenery , as if some of it was passing through piece of glass . She knew that if she acted perhaps a dozen hunters and their pets would start poking holes in her . She knew that every other rogue was thinking the same thing . And she knew that the hunters were in the same situation . But why weren 't they just running ? Gyroscope grinned . Just as he planned , the hunters were holding their ground . Well , in their own understandably cowardish way . " Looks like we need something to break this standoff , " he told Caera who winced how loud her partner 's voice was even when he was trying to whisper . Gyroscope pulled a tiny box out of his Quantum Qampression CONTIANment dEvice R - 6300 ( QQCONTAINER , a name which also made Caera wince ) which expanded to be roughly a 12 ' ' x12 ' ' x3 ' ' cube with a big red button on it and an arrow which Gyroscope pointed towards the approximate location of the hunters . Then he took out a device that looked like a gun on a tripod ( which also had a big red button ) and set it a bit in front of the box . He looked at Caera , who was already stepping back with a slightly worried expression , sighed , activated the devices , and ran away . Rfeann watched the extra high - tech target dummy unfold under her . " Huh , " she thought , " that dummy reminds me of Ippon . Man does Gyro know his irony . " Suddenly the tripod - gun exploded , Rfeann lost her balance , and found herself standing ( feanns always land on their feet ) staring at a wall of guns , bows , and crossbows . Then everything happened all at once . Rfeann threw down a smokebomb and pressed herself flat against the ground ; the wall of weapons turned into a wall of bullets and arrows ; Pajamas started throwing rocks at all of the traps she 'd spotted to " disarm " them ; and about ten rogues descended from the trees . In short , the battle began . Haileaus , who had recently restored his stock of Filled Festive Shotglasses , decided to use one to blindside the hunters from above . This backfired , as a trio of birds , one squawking , one screeching , and one quacking , began furiously pecking him . In pain and with the hunters alerted of his presence , Haileaus was forced to utilize shadowstep , a technique which involves teleportation through shadows that he created by studying the mages ' blink . He shadowstepped behind a hunter on the outskirts of the battle and slid a knife across its throat . Haileaus proceeded to contain the hunters by eliminating any who tried to flee . While Verelyse was cutting down hunters with her characteristic skill and grace , one hunter managed to cock her crossbow . As she was about to fire an explosive bolt at point - blank range , Heartcrusher , who was standing in a nearby tree raising ghouls , deathgripped the hunter and punched her in the face . When the hunter hit the ground the bolt exploded . Pajamas , seeing Weran in trouble , threw a stone at the tiger trying to eat Weran 's face . She swore as the stone stopped in mid - air and was surrounded by a purple glow . When the light faded , the stone was replaced by a large partridge which proceeded to gouge out the eyes of the pet , then moved on to attack the surrounding hunters with unmatched fury . The tanned , black - haired blood elf , Verelyse , stands from her seat and walks over to the table in front of the prisoner . " A human female with dark skin and red hair … " Verelyse nods . " Identity confirmed . Caera , it looks like we 've got our suspect . " Verelyse 's hand settles on the gnome 's shoulder . " Settle down , Gyro ; we 've still got plenty of questions for this one . " Gyro spits on the prisoner and jumps off of the table . Snoz gives the prisoner what is perhaps the coldest glare that has ever been given before wandering off elsewhere . Meanwhile , a goblin begins inspecting the prisoner 's belongings . " Heeey , she 's got some mon ' nay ! " says the money - hungry rogue , pocketing a significant amount of gold . " Sheevah 's gonna be riiich , Sheevah 's gonna be riiich … " she sings quietly and happily . The other rogues clear a path as he walks through . Despite her grievous rogue training , the only thing the prisoner can gather about him was that his eyes were dark , devoid of any soul or emotion . She tries her best to maintain her composure . " I see many things … " The forsaken rogue continues to approach her slowly , staring her intently into her eyes . She is gradually becoming more confused - more afraid . A low exhale can be heard from behind Haileaus ' mask ; afterwards , his face slowly turns to Caera . " That … is what makes a rogue . " He turns and returns to his corner of the room . The prisoner 's shoulders relax . " I 've heard of you … I 've heard of all of you ! Verelyse , Caera , Backstabi , Gyroscope , Haileaus , Sheevah , and Snitz … " " S - Snoz ! " the rogue looks around and observes all of the fierce presences , both aggressive and rational , that she has seen . " You are … The Rouge Legion … The Rouge Legion is real ? ! " " WAIT A MINUTE ! " yells a high - pitched voice from above . Through a secret opening in the roof , a pale , dark - haired blood elf falls , flips once , and lands lightly on the table . She looks up , and her gaze is immediately fixed onto Keorics . " You … " Cloaked 's brow furrows and her eyes become ferocious . She grabs her dagger from a sheath on her hip and holds it up to Keroics ' chin . " Would you like to see ? " " Hah , as if . You probably couldn 't even kill me all tied - up like this ! You , of all the members , have no notable credentials . " Cloaked looks at Keroics for a while before returning her dagger to its sheath . " You 're right : nobody knows of anything Cloaked has done . Cloaked 's name is but a word to most . " Cloaked turns around and walks away from the table . " And soon , yours will be nothing more than a memory . " " Cloaked ! " Backstabi yells ; Cloaked quickly turns to find a knife being hurled at high velocity in her direction . With a minor repositioning of her head , she catches the knife with her teeth . " FOOL ! " Cloaked throws the knife swiftly ; it cuts a small lock of Keroics ' hair off . " There is only one Cloaked . There are not three . " " Hmph . Cloaked is too busy for these ' interpretations . ' Cloaked will be … somewhere . " Cloaked takes a few steps back and gradually disappears into the darkness . Cloaked steps out of the dark corner angrily , then finds one at another part of the room . " Cloaked will be … somewhere . " She slowly backs into the dark corner . Cloaked , now completely frustrated , heads to another corner of the room . Before she can reach halfway , a familiar voice yells out . " Don 't even come over here . This is the 2000 + corner , no PvE heroes allowed . " " DAMMIT ! FINE ! Cloaked will go upstairs ! " Like a child who just had their bottle taken away , Cloaked stomps through the Rouge Legion and heads up the wooden stairs . Keorics struggles to contain her laughter . " So , this is a typical day for the Rouge Legion , huh ? You guys aren 't nearly as tough as all the rumors say . " " ENOUGH ! " yells a deep , rough voice ; Keroics suddenly feels a strong presence behind her . " Keroics … you WILL tell us … EVERYTHING you know … " The worgen man from behind her growls in a low tone .
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Today is five years since the first of Leonard 's Lissadell concerts . So much has happened in those five years . On the night I thought it was going to be the last time I saw Leonard in concert , but such was the brilliance of that night , I just knew I had to see him again , and there started a wonderful journey , which I am still on ! Details of that journey is what this blog is all about ! I do confess to making an error with not having taken notes over the weekend thinking I would remember enough to fill reports for each individual day . However such was the packed programme and little sleep means some of the details have slipped my mind . I hope therefore to give one report in which I hope those who were there will appreciate it and those who weren 't can be given a flavour of what our weekend entailed . Following this report I will make posts of the photo highlights of the weekend . This exhibition allowed me and Tony to attend a special reception at the Canadian Embassy for Canadians attending the Event , Forum Moderators and performers at the Event . I was delighted to attend this reception by the Canadian Ambassador Loyola Hearn . We were well looked after , with some delicious fancy food canapés and wine to wash it down ! Paula introduced the Ambassador and he spoke for a few minutes and I was very impressed with his speech . He spoke completely without notes about the links between Ireland and Canada and had some advice for visiting Canadians to look after their passports or they would be finding themselves back in the Embassy quicker than they could imagine ! After a lovely couple of hours chatting to old and new found friends we made our way to the Lansdowne Hotel for the official launch of the Event by Loyola Hearn , who made another off the cuff amazing speech ! We were treated to a BBQ , an excellent layout of straw bales and little turf burners which created the most wonderful atmosphere . Music was supplied for the first couple of hours by The Irish House Party , who performed traditional Irish music , which was great for our visiting friends . Albert Noonan had created a DVD of his wonderful videos of Leonard 's concerts to supply the music for the rest of the night . Already on the Thursday night I had a feeling that this weekend was going to be really special and one what will live in our memories for a long time to come . When we arrived at the hotel we registered and received our registration bags which contained a t - shirt , programme , pin from Leonard and a wristband to wear for the gatherings in Liberty Hall for quick identification purposes . There was a real piece of treasure awaiting us in the programme . Leonard being the class act he is , choose the programme of our Event to announce the name of his next album , Popular Problems , and that it will be released at the end of next month shortly after his 80th birthday . I can 't think of one other artist who treats his fans as well as Leonard does . Also in our programme was note from him saying he was happy we were gathering in this great country which has been so kind to him over the years and thanking us for our long journey . Day 2 began with coffee in the Mansion House at 11am and a welcome by , Christy Burke the Lord Mayor of Dublin . While he was there , his second in command , the Deputy Lord Mayor , Larry O ' Toole made the speech and it was followed by him and Paula singing a couple of verses of The Dublin Saunter . After a few minutes of chatting to friends Paula approached me and told me we were all going to sing So Long Marianne to the Lord Mayor . This song always gets a wonderful reception everywhere Leonard performs it but it is extra special here in Ireland so it brought back great memories when we all sang this in the Mansion House . After some down time with friends after the Mansion House I made my way down to Liberty Hall and helped Albert Noonan with hanging our photos for the exhibition . I was very emotional seeing my work on display like this for the very first time . It really warmed my heart when I saw strangers come up and admire the photos . Support from friends is always brilliant but seeing people who don 't know me and think I have a talent is very special to me . It was really exciting when I saw a reporter and crew from RTE arrive to interview participants and fans . RTE is our national broadcaster and it shows the high regard that Leonard is held in here that they would want to feature our Event on the main evening news . I enjoyed watching them interviewing Dermot Bolger in front of my photos and then while I was on duty checking wrist bands at the entrance to the theatre I was able to witness them at work interviewing people as they made their way into the venue . Soon it was time for our four Event organisers , Paula McCann , Marie Nolan , Albert Noonan and Sheila O ' Mahony to officially start proceedings . The first on the amazing list of talent was a five minute audio visual of Leonard at Lissadell by Yvonne Acheson . This was very enjoyable and brought back wonderful memories of the concert I still consider to be my favourite of all time . There was then a poetry reading and talk with Gerard Smyth and an interview of John MacKenna by Dermot Bolger . I do confess with between checking the door and the excitement of seeing my photos on display means I am drawing a blank while I try to remember what was being discussed here but I do remember enjoying it at the time . It was one of the reasons I held back writing this review until now in the hope the the fog would clear from my brain ! After a short interval we were treated to some really funny poetry by The Poetry Divas . One of their poems , called Flaming for Leonard , borrowed some of Leonard 's song titles and lyrics and had us all in stitches laughing . The final part of the Spoken Word was an interview with Lief Bodnarchuk by Tony Clayton - Lea . I was really looking forward to this because Lief worked with Leonard on all the tours from 2008 - 2013 as a guitar technician for Mitch Watkins and Javier Mas . Having read Lief 's book No Ideas I didn 't really hear anything I didn 't already know but I never tire of hearing about life on the road with Leonard and it was good hearing Lief explain how he got the gig with Leonard through having worked with the band Ash . Tony Clayton - Lea was a great interviewer and credit to him for trying his best to try and get some gossip on Leonard . It wasn 't forthcoming though . One thing in common with the people close to Leonard is their loyalty and it is a trait that I greatly admire . After a very successful opening afternoon and break for dinner it was time for the first of the three concerts of singers and musicians from Ireland and abroad . Opening musical proceedings was a Meath man Gerry Tully . I must admit I was very apprehensive about how I would take the live music . Those who know me know I am not generally a fan of other people performing Leonard 's songs with few exceptions including Judy Collins and those who have collaborated with Leonard or indeed performed with him . However I have to say that attitude has being changed after what can only be described as an amazing weekend of outstanding performances starting with Gerry ! His opening song was Who By Fire and I was immediately impressed . His set also included Suzanne , I 'm Your Man , Tower of Song and Hallelujah . The first of many Hallelujah 's we were to hear over the weekend but he did the song , and indeed all the songs justice . I have to say though it was his powerful rendition of Raglan Road that was my favourite of his performances . It gave me goosebumps and got a great cheer from the entire audience after . This song has special significance because our Event Chairperson Paula is the niece of the late , great Luke Kelly . The story of how Gerry came to be performing is actually very funny . Paula accompanied a friend to what she thought was going to be TR Dallas gig and was wondering was it him for the first few songs until he did a Leonard Cohen cover . After the gig she went up to him and said " You are not TR Dallas , so who are you ? " And went on to explain about the Event and asked would he like to be one of the performers ! Our second performance on this night was by a Canadian woman , Patricia O ' Callaghan and her band . I am not sure I can find a good enough adjective to describe how incredible this performance was . I think my thought I had after sums it up . If Leonard Cohen songs are going to be covered this is how it should be done . Patricia is a classically trained singer and it showed in her outstanding performances of songs such as The Window , Alexandra Leaving and what was my absolute favourite rendition of Hallelujah all weekend . I loved when she sang Dance Me To The End of Love interspersing English and Spanish and the English and French for Suzanne . After the music ended and we were all having the post concert craic I had the pleasure of speaking with both Gerry and Patricia and thanking them for their amazing sets . Our first full day had been a resounding success and after the wonderful previous day this weekend was shaping up to be one of the most memorable of my entire life . The excitement of this day was not yet over though . RTE had initially being making their news report for their Six One News but due to other breaking news they had to move it to the Nine News instead . I was misinformed that the Event wasn 't shown and then told it was , so confused when we got back to our accommodation I checked it on my laptop and discovered not only was it shown but my photos were used as the main backdrop while the newscaster introduced the story and were shown a few times during the actual report too . Not only that but Mandy my friend and travelling companion to many of my Leonard adventures was interviewed and got a moment on air . It made for a lovely Closing Time for Day 2 of our Event . Day 3 began with a Hidden Secrets History walking tour of Dublin with Tina Robinson . First on the agenda was a tram journey to the first point of interest St . Michan 's Church which dates back to 1095 and has crypts with containing mummified remains . It was interesting hearing the history of the families of those in the crypts and the tour guide at the church was an impressionable fellow with his hand signals for what happened people who were too long or had got on the wrong side of the law ! While most of the approximately 70 strong group took up the option of seeing the crypts , I preferred to stay where it was bright and the ground was even . I may visit again when there are less people around . Unfortunately due to time restraints I had to leave the tour at this point so to have time for lunch before heading back down to Liberty Hall for the afternoon events where I was again on the door checking wrist bands . I explained this to Tina and thanked her for what I had already seen . The afternoon session this day was the Open Mic with fans performing Leonard 's songs and hosted by Darby , one of the Forum moderators . Proceedings were opened with a comedy sketch by Michael Wolkind . He was hilarious and part of his sketch was to give away some Leonard Cohen t - shirts to some lucky people in the audience . The first singer to perform was Don Cummer , partner to Paula , and his first song was his own version of Memories with added lyrics and story of how he first met Paula , four years previously at the Event when it was held in Krakow in 2010 . I had heard this before but it was great to hear it again . He also performed a great version of Sisters of Mercy . There were lots of other great performers including a stunning performance from Claudia of Take This Waltz and I especially enjoyed Henning , another of our Forum moderators putting to music to some of Leonard 's poetry rather than just singing covers . At this stage the lack of sleep was starting to make me dizzy so I had to go get fresh air and coffee so had to miss the last couple of performers of the Open Mic . It was another successful afternoon . For our concert on the Saturday we had one band , Jack Healy and The Van Diemens . Up to this point the music had being mellow and gentle . This was about to change with a full on rock performance . This was welcome to my weary body and it energised me ! This concert was covers of what Jack called the holy trinity of Leonard Cohen , Tom Waits and Nick Cave . I confess to knowing little of Caves music and less of Waits . However I really enjoyed Jack and The Van Diemens interpretations of all the songs . Highlights of Leonard 's songs for me included Tower of Song and a wonderful solo version of Anthem . Someone commented after , that this is what Leonard 's songs would sound like if they were covered by Nick Cave ! I thought that a very good description . I also really enjoyed his Cave covers , Are You the One that I 've Been Waiting For and Mercy Seat . Jack Healy is an excellent front man so I was amazed when talking to him after he says he usually is the bass player in any his bands . He told us a great story during the concert about how Mary Coughlan , a well - known Irish singer attended a Leonard Cohen concert with her daughter . After the concert she asked her daughter what she thought . Her daughters reply was it was like going to mass and having the mass said by Jesus ! Day 4 began with a viewing of Leonard 's last concert of the 2013 tour in Auckland . To have the chance to witness this concert was so special to me . The viewing was in Screen Cinema so we had a nice big screen and surround sound for the music . Leonard 's production manager , Ed Sanders , put this DVD together for us and it must be stated the fine job that he did . Such was the quality we found ourselves forgetting it was in a cinema we were watching this and every now and then there was spontaneous clapping at the end of songs . What I especially enjoyed was seeing close ups of the band and moments I normally don 't see at the concerts when more often than not my eyes are on Leonard unless it is during an actual solo ! During Alexandra Leaving the DVD stopped . It turned out that while we were engrossed in the concert , outside a thunderstorm raged and played havoc with the cinema systems for a couple of minutes . I explained to Jarkko after that the DVD player just couldn 't handle the beauty of Sharon 's voice and sure there is a crack in everything . It was all too soon time for our final concert of the weekend in Liberty Hall . On this night we had Tír Na nÓg , and closing out the Event Ali & the Thieves . However before the music we listened to the organisers of the two Events for 2016 speak of what we can expect in their cities . First we heard from Dr . Kim Solez and Mallory Chipman who spoke about Edmonton in Canada and then from Wybe and Willy Lageveen speaking about Amsterdam in the Netherlands . Tír Na nÓg are an Irish duo , Leo O ' Kelly and Sonny Condell who have been performing together since the late 1960 's . This should suggest I would be familiar with them but no , I wasn 't . In a break with tradition over the weekend they did their own music with only one Cohen cover , True Love Leaves No Traces . I absolutely love this song but hate what Phil Spector did to Leonard 's beautiful lyrics with his so called Wall of Sound . So hearing a stripped back version by accomplished singers was great . I also enjoyed hearing their own songs and I must say I will be paying them more attention in the future ! After a short interval our final performance began with Ali and her band playing what she calls Leonard Cohen Koans . I am not experienced enough to explain that properly so I am borrowing the description from our programme : " Leonard Cohen Koans is a meditation on the man behind the myth through his poetry , prose and song . " It incorporated Ali telling interesting stories and then her and the band performing their own versions of Leonard 's songs . I already knew the amazing voice Ali had having seen her perform at our fan dinner in New York last year . This was even better though . I especially loved the introduction to Avalanche . She spoke of how a man sees a tiger and starts running and the tiger follows . The man grabs a root vine and flings himself over the edge of a crevice . The tiger is still above him and when he looks down he sees another tiger . Then two mice , one black , one white start gnaw at the top of the vine . From the corner of his eye he saw a luscious wild strawberry and holding the vine with one hand he reached out with the other hand . Ali then started singing the song . Other highlights were If It Be Your Will and Lady Midnight which was our last song of the night and indeed the whole weekend ! To end proceedings Jarkko Arjatsalo and Michael Wolkind went on stage to thank our wonderful organisers , presenting Paula with flowers and giving them all a voucher for a meal in a restaurant to convey our thanks for the amazing weekend we just had . I always knew this would be a special weekend and it proved to be even better than I could have imagined . I enjoyed a couple of drinks in the company of everyone at the post craic in the bar of the Liberty Hall Theatre and saying goodbye to old and new friends was hard but we know we will all meet again . It is so long for now but not forever . Thank you so much to all the people who made this weekend possible . When the European tour for this year was initially announced Ireland wasn 't on the list and while I was disappointed I was grateful for all the concerts we 've had here , and had of course the New York and Brussels concerts to look forward too . To say I was ecstatic when Dublin was then announced is an understatement . To have Leonard returning to the venue where I first saw him in concert was something I really relished and after freezing in Kilmainham last year , and as much as I love outdoor concerts it was a relief to know we 'd have no incremental weather to disturb us ! Like in 2009 the lighting director Ryan Murphy bathed the background of the stage in the colours of the Irish flag for us to see as we were coming into the venue . I 've no knowledge of seeing this anywhere else . That isn 't to say it doesn 't be done at other venues , just that in all the concerts I 've attended I 've never seen it anywhere else . As always Leonard opened with Dance Me To The End Of Love . The set list for the first half of the concert is mostly the same these days so we always have a fairly good idea what is coming next . This never takes away from the excitement for me as I could witness these songs live a thousand times and never bore of them . After Dance Me To The End Of Love Leonard thanked us all for coming , thanking those in the high seats for climbing up there and those of us at the front for breaking our household budgets in these tough economic times . While the concert tickets are expensive I personally think Leonard is worth every cent as his concerts are longer than nearly everyone except Bruce Springsteen but Leonard has been know to do even longer concerts than Springsteen on occasion and indeed the second Dublin concert was longer than the one Springsteen concert I was at earlier this year . It must not be forgotten that for a man of his age , Leonard will be 79 next week this is a very impressive statistic . Not only are the concerts long they are performed to perfection , and Leonard always gives us as he promises at the start of his concerts everything that he has got . There are no songs I 'd call fillers and Leonard is never going through the motions . Before Leonard performed Darkness we heard a what is familiar introduction to us for a different song , Ain 't No Cure For Love , where Leonard speaks about looking in the mirrors in his hotel rooms with the magnifiers and how it is a bad idea to look into these after the age of eleven and that he says to him self " Lighten up Cohen " This is normally expanded to include the line that there ain 't no cure for love before beginning the actual song . On Wednesday night he just said and " Now I am going to sing a song about it " . I can 't say if this was a mistake on Leonard 's part or if Darkness was his original intention as the set list for the last few concerts had Darkness in this position but either way I love that introduction from him so was happy to hear it ! Something while rarely fails to move me to tears is anywhere in the concerts where Hattie and Charley Webb are singing and this week was no exception . Their voices are so angelic and it is no wonder Leonard refers to them as the sublime Webb Sisters and his angels . They perform the opening lines to Come Healing and it is achingly beautiful to hear . During the encores they perform If It Be Your Will and for me it is impossible not to be in floods of tears during that performance . The second half was opened with Tower of Song which is a great opener for the second half . Leonard is very playful during this song on which he plays the keyboards . It never fails to amuse me and having a good reaction from the audience means a very happy Leonard and therefore a very happy Gwen ! Sharon Robinson was exquisite singing Alexandra Leaving . This song doesn 't normally bring tears but on Wednesday night it did . At the end of the song she got a much deserved standing ovation from many of us in the audience . It can never be stated enough how important she is to Leonard and indeed to all of us as she has co - written so many of the songs he loves to perform for us and we love to hear . After Hattie Webb 's solo in Take This Waltz I caught her eye and mouthed " Thank you that was beautiful " and she smiled and mouthed back " Thank you " . I was yet again a tearful wreck . I always get emotional at some point at a Leonard concert but for the two Dublin concerts I was more emotional than usual . I think it was a mixture of the fact they were my final two concerts but also the fact that they were absolutely amazing concerts . Leonard and co for me keep getting better and better . I always think the concerts are perfection but having attended a lot of concerts now I have learned there is always room for improvement and that things can be taken to whole new levels , ones which I didn 't even know existed ! From when I bought my tickets I knew that with my brilliant central location I wouldn 't be able to escape for the encores like I usually do so I stayed put and enjoyed it as much as always . Lots of my favourites are performed . I 've been lucky to see Leonard in many different locations but I have to say for the audience participation especially during So Long Marianne means that my favourite concerts are the Irish ones . I must state though that I 've loved all the concerts I 've attended and to be able to witness the magic is so many locations is something I am truly grateful for and I 've loved all the different places I 've visited . The atmosphere for So Long Marianne didn 't disappoint and it was amazing . A couple of times I glanced around the venue and it was electric seeing the whole place up enjoying it . The reaction to First We Take Manhattan was on a par with New York and reminded me of those concerts . While it looked like Closing Time might have indeed being closing time Leonard delighted us with performing one last song , I Tried To Leave you . I love when this is done as each band member has a solo . One of my favourite parts is Rafael Gayol 's drum solo where he throws his drumstick in the air and tries to catch it . This time he missed but that made us all smile . The first song to have me in tears was Bird On The Wire . Again like Who By Fire the previous night I don 't usually cry during this song but it is one of my favourites and in what I call my top five of Hallelujah , So Long Marianne , Anthem and Famous Blue Raincoat . What made this song so special Thursday night was what was an astoundingly amazing performance from Leonard . It is always performed well but I remember thinking at the first night in Montreal Leonard had taken it to a whole new level . Well Thursday night he done it again and so much so my friend and I turned to each other in amazement at the end and said something along the lines " That was out of this world " to each other . I was on cloud nine when Leonard performed Anthem at the end of the first half on Thursday . I was heartbroken when I saw it dropped from recent concerts . That song is very significant to me personally and I think it is the perfect song for that part of the concert . The antics during Tower Of Song were again very amusing with hecklers adding to Leonard . I can 't remember now what was shouted up but at the time found it hilarious . Hopefully a video will appear to remind me ! After Chelsea Hotel # 2 on Thursday Leonard had an extra special treat for us , a new song called I 've Got A Secret . I didn 't recognise the melody but immediately recognised some of the lyrics . While I couldn 't place them at that moment on returning to the hotel I investigated and discovered that they were some of the lyrics from what I call the second version of Feels So Good which we 'd heard in Toronto . Speaking with Hattie Webb after I mentioned this and she told me she hadn 't made that connection and was very impressed that I did ! On that first listen to the song I immediately loved it . The melody has a lovely jazz feel to it . As much as I love Leonard singing I also love when he recites A Thousand Kisses Deep . I recorded this on both nights but missed the first few words the first night so had to try again . I 'm glad I did though as it was unique the second night when Leonard had a false start due to a lady in the row behind us yelling " Leonard I 'm your woman " . Normally someone yelling during this would be on the receiving end of a glare from me but given it was the start it was funny and anything that makes Leonard smile makes me smile . As it is my all time favourite song from Leonard Hallelujah is always my ultimate highlight at the concerts . He puts passion into every song but seems to do more so in this song and for me I think the Thursday version is my all time favourite rendition . Of course the tears were flowing and more so as it is my last live performance but the tears didn 't take away from my enjoyment of the song . Like the previous night given my central location I didn 't think I would be able to escape to the front for the encores . However seeing a huge gap directly in front of the seats I asked the person in front would she mind me climbing over the seats to which she kindly allowed and for the first couple of songs of the encores I was in the second row of standing pilgrims but then a gap appeared which allowed me to be at the very front almost centre for the last few songs . This was very special for me as the last time I was that close to Leonard as he performed was during the encores in Katowice 2010 . Being that close for especially So Long Marianne and Famous Blue Raincoat is great . It means we can see the glances between Leonard and his band and also experience a up close view of the wonderful musicians . There was a funny moment for me when having developed a sore throat and lungs from the singing along and the dry ice I was spending ages rooting in my bag for throat sweets . Having eventually found them buried under my jacket I looked up to see a confused look from Charley Webb as to what was I doing . I held them up and touched my neck to demonstrate and she smiled down at me . It must be noted that the musicians I haven 't mentioned personally throughout this review were just as amazing as they always are . I 'm just aware this is a very long review and I hope my readers enjoy it . I think I just want to have a record of as many moments of these two concerts as I can ! Just to mention though Alexandru Bublitchi performances on the violin are always breathtaking and I always appreciate the contribution by the musical director and bassist Roscoe Beck . After having Anthem as a extra song I thought maybe we 'd get a shorter encore but no Leonard actually gave us an extra song there too with Save The Last Dance . While I always prefer hearing Cohen 's songs over covers I was very happy to get this as an extra at the end . Also I am rarely a fan of listening to covers preferring the originals , but maybe it my love of Leonard but I actually prefer his version to the original ! Leaving The O2 on Thursday night I couldn 't have wished for more over the two nights . We had a total of 60 songs performed , 31 different ones between the two nights . Leonard and his band never fail to deliver but on these nights he gave us everything he got and more . His closing words after Closing Time on Thursday were very special and we could tell he enjoyed these concerts as much as we do . I never thought I 'd witness a concert to be on a par with magical Lissadell but the Thursday concert especially is up there for me . Thank you to Leonard , your wonderful band and crew for giving us the most memorable nights . If these do turn out to be my final concerts I couldn 't have asked for a better ending . For now I take forth the memories and will be eternally grateful to do so . When I am asked by people my favourite Leonard Cohen song and I answer with Hallelujah I sometimes get the reaction of raised eyebrows . It is sometimes conceived that answering with a major artists most well - known song as your favourite as a sign that you are not someone who has a great knowledge of the artist in question . I 'd like to think while I don 't know everything about Leonard 's music that I do have a good knowledge of most of his work as a singer - songwriter . So why Hallelujah ? Well I will now attempt to answer that question . The first time I heard Hallelujah and indeed any of Leonard 's songs was the Jeff Buckley version of the song . It was August 23rd 2004 and almost midnight . I was listening to the radio , almost asleep when the DJ announced that as it was the 10th anniversary of the release of Jeff 's album Grace he would play his version of the song . I 'll never forget this moment as long as I live . I remember thinking how amazing the song was and it gave me goosebumps . While the DJ had said it was a cover he didn 't mention who the original singer and writer were so as soon as the song finished playing I picked up the phone and rang him and asked him . He said it is Leonard Cohen , adding knowing I was ( and still am ) a huge fan of soft rock that I would not like Leonard Cohen . I told him well I loved this song ! For me at that time while I appreciated good lyrics the music was the most important , I had to enjoy the music before I could appreciate the lyrics . Hallelujah was the start of that scale changing for me and I now find myself drawn more and more to well written lyrics . Of course the music is still very important too . I then made it my mission to get my hands on a copy of Leonard singing this song on CD . The DJ not a fan of Leonard 's refused to play his version for me . This proved a tricky mission . At the time I used to get most of my albums in either HMV or an on - line music store called CDWOW . CDWOW didn 't stock any Leonard Cohen albums at the time and while HMV did have some of Leonard 's albums it proved tricky getting one with this song on it . After a bit of searching I finally got my hands on a copy of The Essential Leonard Cohen in a HMV store . As soon as I got home I straight away listened to Hallelujah . On the first listen to Leonard singing this song I admit I was very taken aback as it is so different to Jeff 's version . I immediately listened to it again and something inside me clicked and I instantly felt I was listening to what in my opinion was the greatest song ever written and I still feel like this . Trying to pinpoint exactly why I felt like this and still do is difficult as I 'm not sure I even know the answer myself . I just knew that the lyrics and melody to my ears were just magical . I see Hallelujah as a conflict between religious beliefs and human desires . Trying to pick a favourite line from the song is impossible for me but two of my favourites are " Baby I have been here before I know this room , I 've walked this floor " and " I did my best , it wasn 't much I couldn 't feel , so I tried to touch " . I often quote these lines in conversation as well as many other lines from the work of Leonard . After listening to Hallelujah on repeat a few times I went back to the start of the album and listened start to finish . How wrong that DJ proved to be . I instantly loved everything I was hearing and on that first listen the other song to really hit me was So Long Marianne . This song is very close in my affections to Hallelujah to this day . I couldn 't believe it had taken me around 27 years to discover Leonard Cohen and his music but maybe I wasn 't ready to discover him before this . I have mentioned to people that I discovered Leonard and his songs at a time in my life when I most needed it . I was going through a dark time and slowly listening every night to his songs I felt myself coming out the other side . A few months after getting The Essential I finally found a copy of Various Positions in HMV and slowly starting adding all his CDs to my collection . When the 2008 world tour was announced the Dublin concerts were already sold out and I hadn 't yet discovered the Leonard Cohen Forum so put not having a ticket down to bad luck . I never have and never will use a ticket tout to get tickets to a concert . I 'd signed up for notifications after this so I was finally able to witness the magic in 2009 for the first time . Hearing Hallelujah sang live for the first time was special moment for me . After the Lissadell concert in 2010 I was heart - broken to think I might never see Leonard live again so for the first time in my life I left Ireland and went alone to see him in Katowice , Poland and also to Las Vegas for the final two concerts of the tour . I 'd never gone to see the same artist two nights in a row before but then Leonard isn 't like anyone to me . When I met Leonard in Las Vegas I asked him to sign Hallelujah lyrics for me and on the plane home the following day while writing a review of the concerts I listened to Live in London on my mp3 player . As soon as Hallelujah came on I was in convulsions of tears . This song had literally changed my life forever . It had taken me 32 years to travel outside Ireland and had I never heard that song that day who knows what path my life would be on . Since seeing Leonard in Poland and Las Vegas I 've also seen him in Belgium and of course the dream trip to Canada . Not only have I witnessed the magic of Leonard many times but have seen some wonderful places completely different to Ireland . Of course when everyone and anyone started covering the song I would have heard it at a later date anyway but that doesn 't mean I would have been able to hear the magic underneath to same level as I had done with Jeff 's cover which inspired me to find the original and for me the best . That night started me on a wonderful adventure in terms of first and most importantly discovering Leonard and then discovering the Forum and through it and Facebook connecting with many other wonderful people , some now who are my closest friends . I say Hallelujah for the song and Hallelujah for Leonard Cohen . When the announcement was made that Leonard was to perform it was suggested via the Leonard Cohen Forum that a Canadian Maple be planted in his honour in Sligo town . However this was later decided to be located in the grounds of Lissadell House . Some of us then decided we would lay a plaque at the tree in Lissadell in honour of the concerts . Mick Purcell deserves all the credit for the work involved in this project and I was honored to have my idea of the Unified Heart included . It was decided that we would put the plaque at the tree at midday on Leonard 's 76th birthday . It was my honour to accompany Mick Purcell to Sligo to do this . We went down the previous day to stay over night and stayed in The Pier Head Mullaghmore which was the hotel Leonard and the band had stayed in when they had the concerts in Lissadell . On the morning of 21st of September as the sun was rising I took an early morning walk as I love this time of day and also because I know that Leonard also likes early more walks and it was my homage to him to do the same on his birthday . It was on this walk I took the photo of the birds on the wires 🙂 It was very special for me when we left the plaque at the tree . Some our Forum friends donated money towards the cause so it was a present from many of us and I hope someday Leonard gets to visit the spot and see it for himself . Having seen Leonard live last year and that gig being absolutely amazing , I have never before felt so much excitement and impatience in the build up to a gig . Could the tantalising mixture of Leonard and Lissadell really be a recipe for a night we would never forget ? The answer to that is a resounding yes ! From start to finish this was the most amazing concert I 've ever been at . Having possibly the greatest poet of our times performing in the place that inspired his hero added a certain magic that I don 't believe I 'll ever witness again in my lifetime . Playing for an impressive 3 hour 45 minutes with only a 20 minute interval Leonard and his fantastic band delivered to the highest possible standard playing the songs his fans so love to hear and adding in couple of new songs to wet our appetites for the promised new album due in the spring of next year . Dance me to The End of Love was the opening song of this wonderful night followed by The Future and Ain 't no cure for Love in what was a serenely mellow first half . I find it impossible to pick a highlight for this half as every song is a highlight in itself . The mix of Leonard 's sultry tones and the fabulous musicianship of his incredible band was musical poetry to me ears . However as wonderful as all the familiar tunes were I was delighted to hear the first of 3 new songs , Born in Chains . This new song showcases that even in his mid seventies Cohen can still write great melodies and fantastic lyrics . What I especially loved was that Leonard shared the singing of this song with the sublime Webb Sisters and his extremely talented co - writer Sharon Robinson . Like the 1st time I saw Leonard live the 2nd half proved to be my preference even though nearing the end Mother Nature treated us to misty rain ! My favourite of Leonard 's songs Hallelujah and So Long Marianne were preformed in this half . Hallelujah is in my humble opinion the greatest song ever written and it has to be my ultimate concert highlight hearing it sung live by its creator . Leonard starts and ends this song on his knees and delivered an outstanding performance that even though familiar to my ears gave me Goosebumps and had tears streaming down my face . Even now as I 'm transported back to that moment I find my eyes filling up . Hallelujah aside , like the 1st half it is extremely difficult to pick individual highlights as everything was sublime . I am probably starting to sound like a cliché but I 'm overwhelmed by the intensity of this amazing experience and feel so lucky to have witnessed this magical encounter . It must be noted how brilliant Leonard 's band is . During various moments during the night we were treated to solos form most of the band including Dino Soldo and Javier Mas . As mentioned before as always Leonard 's backing singers , The Webb Sisters and Sharon Robinson were outstanding . The mutual respect between both Leonard and his band is plain for all to see and adds to what is already an excellent ambiance . Even after the incredible 3 hours and 45 minutes Leonard who will be 76 later this year was still in top form but there had to be an end and it was a touching end when he performed Lover , Lover , Lover which wasn 't even on the setlist . Other songs of note during the night included Famous Blue Rain Coat , Suzanne , In My Secret Life , First we Take Manhattan and I 'm Your Man . It was a special moment for me when my friend who accompanied me to the concert started cheering after this song even though she isn 't a massive fan . I know I could have easily listened for even longer to the concert but respect to Leonard that at his age he puts younger artists to shame and maybe they should take note on how to deliver a night of perfection where it is impossible to find fault in anyway . The fan interaction between Leonard and also amongst us the fans helped make this a night never to be forgotten . There was a big contingent of the " Leonard Cohen Forum " at the concert with over 90 of us having specially made name tags in honour of the special occasion . This interaction with people who are strangers showcased the magic and lure Leonard has amongst his faithful followers . As I walked out of the Lissadell estate I had feelings of utter happiness and sadness mingled in . Happiness that not only did the gig live up to expectation but managed to surpass it in every possible way but sadness that what will possibly have been the best concert I will ever attend was over . I thank Leonard Leonard for the music , the lyrics and for being such an amazing human being and sharing himself with us and I also thank the Cassidy family for allowing this fantastic concert to take place in their front garden . I and all the other fans will be forever indebted to their generosity .
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Can I just say . . . . my parents were / are awesome . I can honestly not remember a time in my growing up life that we didn 't get regular dental checkups , fillings , cleanings , etc . Our teeth were taken care of . And for that I 'm very grateful . Perhaps that attention is the ONLY thing keeping my scarey , traumatized teeth in my head . I was NOT blessed with good teeth ( thanks Mom ) . Doesn 't matter that I brush 3 times a day and floss . . . . . and yet still cavities and broken teeth galore . BUT , I digress , for my mouth is not what this is about . Last week I FINALLY took my kids to the dentist for the first time ( judge me not ) . Maggie has had a visible cavity on her back molar for at least a year . Maxs front teeth are all chippy and well , it was just beyond time . But frankly , HOW do people ever afford to see a dentist . No really . . . HOW ? There is a reason I haven 't been to a dentist in at least 8 years . They are insanely expensive and we have insanely NO money . It sucks and if you must know , WHEN I win that ellusive lottery , I 'm TOTALLY fixing my teeth first . To say I was nervous would be an understatement . As we all know , Max has a freakish phobia of all things doctor . We tried to really talk it up and make it seem like a cool thing . We mentioned prizes and toys for going and that seemed to work . Upon arrival they were calm , cool and collected . There were video games to play and puzzles . The kids were most enamored with the little " vending " machines with prizes in them . They wanted money for it and I told them if they did well I would give them some . Our cute hygenist giving her teeth a good cleaning . Sure enough , TWO cavities . She gets to go back next week for her fillings . Hope she 's as calm then . Trying to act brave as we make jokes to help him relax for this " intrusive " teeth cleaning . He got a bit jumpy and freaked for a minute . He didn 't appreciate the spit sucker outer . Seriously , WHAT am I gonna do when he has an actual cavity or something and needs numbing . I think I 'll have to insist on some halcion for that kid . But over all . . . he did very well . And NO cavities for him . YAY ! The best part . . . . they got a goody bag with stickers , a new toothbrush and toothpaste AND a token to buy a prize out of the machines out front . AWESOME ! They were both so , so pleased with the whole thing . Hoorah , looks like I 'll be able to convince them to go back in 6 mos . One morning I got the girls dressed for church and they both happened to be wearing pink and white . I however was in black and purple . But , upon seeing the girls in their finery , Jere begged me to please wear pink and white too so we could all match . Fine , I gave in and match we did . It was so " cute " . haha And yes , we did get a lot of comments on our matchery . Can we talk about Maggies tan for a minute ? Holy crap that girl is DARK ! The kids are little water babies and swim EVERY . SINGLE . DAY ! Oh to be young , innocent and free again where summer meant endless amounts of swimming ( and loving it ) playing with friends and no worries . Le Sigh ! First of all . . . . . Maggie graduated from Pre - school . For reals this time , as in , never going back to preschool , but moving on to the big K . I won 't lie , I SUPER missed her teacher and school from the year before , ' cause it was soooo much cuter and they did more fun things . BUT , Maggie had a great year . She loved her friends and she did love her teacher . Their " graduation " just left a bit to be desired . Maggie and Miss Katie , her teacher . Katie had JUST had a baby about 2 weeks prior . So , she came back just for the graduation . She was cute , ' cause she was totally post baby and cried everytime she mentioned the year with the kids . haha Nothing I love more than a Daddy and the sleeping baby pic . She spends many a morning snuggling with Daddy after she 's been fed . Aaack , I just can 't handle the cute . We had a rare moment where we were actually completely free and had nothing going on one Saturday . So , Jere decided to have a " family fun day " . He took the kids to the store and bought snacks , let them choose a movie to rent and then he created an elaborate bed like seating situation out of all the couch cushions so all could snuggle and watch the movie together . The kids LOVED it . And mostly , I think they were just so happy to get to spend time with Daddy . They don 't get a lot of time with him . Even Mayzie got in on the action . One day Maggie wanted to " model " her outfit . Coincidentally , it was a done hair day , which is rather rare and exciting . And by model , I do mean she wanted to MODEL . . . . she came up with these awesome poses all on her own . I especially love the spoon . She was quite pleased that she thought of it and made SURE i took a picture of her holding the spoon just so . That girl is so crazy . Speaking of crazy . . . . . I truly hope this current phase of awful that she 's in will actually go away . The very mention of doing her hair sends her into fits of rage and insanity . There is screaming , there is bawling , fighting , laying on the floor pounding the fists and feet , bargaining , refusal , you name it . And that 's just MY side of it . No , no I kid , it 's all her ! It truly takes EVERYTHING I have to remain anywhere resembling calm to get through these moments . For the most part , I let her go around looking like an orphan with mangey hair because the fights aren 't worth it . BUT , there ARE occassions where having her hair done is just not up for discussion . Church mornings are the suck . So , the other day I had the gall , the audacity to put her hair in a ponytail , because she had sworn to me the day before that I could do it and she wouldn 't fight . Liar liar pants on fire ! So , I did the pony after MUCH shrieking , head jerking and fighting . She was beside herself . This was the WORST thing I 've ever done to her . I heard her say . . . . " I just can 't take it anymore , I can 't take it . This is nothing but a BIG disaster . " So sorry kid , guess you 've got a lot more disasters to look forward too , ' cause I ain 't giving up the battle just yet . Serenity NOW ! I 'll just leave you with this . Mayzie on her 2 mo . birthday . She is truly the sweetest baby EVER ! And she 's so full of smiles and happiness . We 're so thankful she came to live at our house . There is NO doubt that Max loves his baby sister . Usually the FIRST thing he asks when he wakes up in the morning is " Where 's Mayzie ? " He likes to know her whereabouts at all times . He simply can NOT get enough of kissing , hugging , or touching her . It doesn 't matter what I 'm doing , nursing , feeding her a bottle , sleeping , holding her , wahtever , he won 't take no for an answer . It 's as if he can 't help himself , the compulsion to touch her , love her , be near her is too much for him . And while it 's sweet , it can get rather frustrating at times . But , that 's neither here nor there . I 'm here to show you these pics I took , ' cause they cracked me up . Maggie is a TOTAL " mommy " . She insists on holding Mayzie , burping her and just bossing everyone else around about taking care of her . Max is always asking to hold Mayzie , and his timing is not always great . So , on the rare moments he GETS to really hold her , he cherishes them . One morning Maggie had her , and when I came around the corner , this is what I saw : Apparently the goggles were key in his super power abilities to hold her . I don 't know , it just cracked me up . That kid is so funny . Which she of course did . Would you PLEASE look at Maxs face here . It is the story of his little life . Big Sister ruining everything for him . Poor kid . But , I must say , Maggie really is a great big sister to the baby . And Mayzie truly loves Maggie . When Jere called me yesterday ( I had to go somewhere without the kids ) and Mayzie was screaming her face off ( which she only seems to do for him ) and he didn 't know what else to try , I asked him if he 'd let Maggie hold her yet ? He said no , so I told him to give her to Maggie . And apparently Maggie held her and things were better . And Maggie doesn 't seem to mind that she loses a chunk of hair just about everytime she holds Mayzie , because Mayzie grabs on and doesn 't let go . The kids made Jere the SWEETEST little cards and at their summer school they made him a frame with the most beautiful picture of them ever . They also drew him pictures and showered him with loves . It was a pretty simple affair at our house . I gave him a card , some i - tunes and I made him a killer turkey sandwhich for lunch . What can I say , we had to head to my parents house and then we had rehearsal for our show . There wasn 't time for a fancy dinner . Good thing that sandwhich was so delish ! ! We 're so grateful for Jere and the good Daddy he is . He definitely provides the fun in their lives . He has the BEST ability to talk to them and help them learn and understand things . He is so patient with middle of the night children , and so good at helping them and PLAYING with them . I 'm thankful that he is continuing his education so he has the best possible chances for providing for his family , and doing what he loves . And I 'm thankful for his childlike heart that relates so well to our kids and for his partnership in this parenting endeavor . I went out to Porter and Lanas one day and of course Mayzie is everyones obsession . She truly brings so much joy to my ENTIRE family , it 's awesome . Well , when I came back from a trip to the ol ' toity , this is what I found . A literal LINE of kids waiting for their turn to hold Mayzie . How adorable is that ? They were willing to stand in line for a TURN to hold my sweet baby . That is Tatum holding her , followed by Dane , then of course Maggie , Owen , Olivia , Crew ( who is far to small for a real turn ) and the couch was rounded out by Morgan and Max . And , for the most part , they did a pretty good job of sharing Mayzers . The other thing I love about this picture ? As I looked at it , I realized that 4 out of the 7 kids in it are all wearing hand me downs from eachother . Maggie is wearing clothes given to her from Brooklyn . Crew is wearing clothes that were Max 's and Morgan is wearing clothes that were Maggies ( never mind that she 's a year older than Maggie . She comes from my sister Dixie who only makes wee tiny , skinny kids ) and Max who is dressed entirely by Jayce . We are SO , SO blessed and lucky to have cousins to give us clothes , and then I 'm only so happy to pass them down to the next in line . I honestly don 't know what we 'd do if it weren 't for all the hand me downs . My kids might forever be destined to be nudists , or only sport bad wal - mart clothes . ICK ! I just have to say , I reallllllly don 't like the " new look " of blogger , it drives me nuts and I can 't find anything . And yes , i realize I never write posts , so this is my problem . But still , I can complain if I want to . So , what else is new . . . . it 's June which = the craziest month of my entire life . I 'm tired , I 'm worn out , I 'm overwhelmed and my house looks like an atomic bomb went off . Pretty much the norm . However . . . . last Monday morning I found just enough time to make a " quick " trip to Costco for a stock up the pantry mission . As we know , my kidlets lurve them some Costco and I made them SWEAR on their little lives that they would behave . And by behave I mean , stay by the cart , no running ahead , raising ruckus or begging me to buy something , or anything . We were on a mission . What can I say ? They delivered . There was a little bit of " ice skating " on the concrete which ended with some falls , but nothing too bad . They did great and therefore earned a little lunch at the Costco " cafe " ( we seriously love us some lunch there ) . There we sat , the four of us lunching on our salad for me and pizza for them and delicious bottle for Mayzie . The kids were uncharacteristically calm and GOOD ! They actually just SAT there and ate . They didn 't fight , they didn 't whine , they didn 't jump up and down . It was surreal actually . About halfway through our lunching I noticed this lovely older woman looking our way . She was sitting a table over and one up from us . She was saying something to her cute little old husband . When she caught my eye she said " they 're so well behaved . " I laughed and said , " well at least this time they are . " The cute man turned and said something , but to be honest , I have no idea what he said , I just smiled and nodded . Anyway a few minutes later they got up to leave . I noticed them whispering to eachother . Next thing I knew , that adorable little ol ' man in his shorts and knee socks walked over , reached in his pocket and placed a quarter in front of each of my kids and said " I think you two are pretty swell . " IT . WAS . AWESOME ! They hardly knew what to do with themselves . Well fine , they pretty much just didn 't even really understand what had just happened . All they saw was a big , shiny quarter , which equals MONEY for their piggy banks . I tried to use it as a wee teaching moment . You know . . . . act good and behaved and you get rewarded . I 'm not sure it has sunk in . But , it made this mama feel good none the less . Wait , what ? My kid is 2 mos . old you say ? How did this happen ? And all of you waiting so painfully long for her birth story . My sincerest apologies ! ! ! It shall be stated for the record that I SWORE this time I was going to wait until nature just took its course and I went into labor all by myself . I wanted to have that " moment " like they show in the movies . You know the one . . . just minding your own business and suddenly your water bursts all over the floor and your rushing around in panic trying to get to the hospital in time . Or just out of nowhere a giant contraction hits and your doing the crazy breathing and rushing to the hospital . I was gonna do it . I was gonna wait . . . no induction . Enjoy the whole process , etc . Phlbbbbt ! You know me . . . . patience . . . . non existent . Frankly , you hit that last couple of weeks and all you can do is BEG the child to get out of you ! I went to my Doctors appt . on April 2nd , I was dilated to a 4 and 80 % effaced . ' Cause I 'm cool like that , my body all prepping itself and all . So He stripped my membranes and we discussed when he could induce me . However , really I wasn 't planning on waiting around for this induction . Jere was losing his ever loving mind . Couldn 't study , couldn 't focus , couldn 't do anything . He was OBSESSED with this baby being born . And at this point . . . so was I . I had a couple of pretty big contractions that afternoon after the " stripping " , but that was it . I swore I would NOT do the castor oil this time , but finally I gave in and made the orange soda and castor oil concoction . I somehow gagged it down and waited for it to do its magic . You guys . . . . . I took it at 4 p . m . and I didn 't even so much as toot , nor feel a rumble in the jungle until after 8 p . m . It was wierd , and disconcerting . But finally , I had a nice visit with my toilet and things seemed to be working in the right direction . I started having consistent contractions about every 3 to 5 minutes starting at 9 p . m . We were watching " The Voice " and just timing contractions . Jere was super antsy to head to the hospital . I myself was not . I kept assuring him we could just do this whole " laboring " part at home . Finally , at about 11 : 30 we headed to the hospital . They checked me , still at a 4 . Told me to " walk " . So after 45 minutes of doing lunges , squats , running up and down stairs , jogging in place ( in the chapel for privacy none the less , ' cause NOONE needs to see that bidness ) and walking I went back and I was at a 5 . They decided to admit me and see what happened . We spent the rest of the night in our room sorta sleeping , sorta not . I continued to have contractions , but just run of the mill , not real painful contractions . Just before 6 a . m . I decided I needed to go to the bathroom . I called the nurse and told her I needed to go . I was laying on my side and when I went to move to my back to get up I heard and felt a loud POP POP ! It was the strangest feeling . Then there was a little bit of liquid on the table . I told the nurse what happened , she checked me and said I wasn 't that wet , so my water didn 't break . I said " are you sure cause it 's running down my leg right now and I 'm not peeing . " I went to the bathroom , there was lots of bloody show and the trickle down my leg continued . The nurse said she didn 't think my water had broken so much as it had sprung a leak . Whatever the case , it was enough to change my contractions to for realsie and painful . At that point I was at a 6 to 7ish range . I said , let 's do this epidural STAT ! The guy came in and did the epidural , except it hurt and it 's never hurt before . He no sooner finished the epidural than I felt some immediate relief . I got all settled back on my bed , the nurse walked out the door and then I may have seen the face of God . I had a contraction that hurt so bad I thought I would die . I literally felt like my bum hole would explode . Now remember , I 've been induced with the other 2 and had epidurals . . . I never really FELT anything . So I was ouching and breathing through this saying " why does this hurt , why does this hurt sooooooooo bad ? I have an epidural . " Jere called the nurse back in . She asked if I was feeling a little more pressure . " A LITTLE more pressure ? Sister this is FAR more than a little pressure . " So , she checked me and wouldn 't you know , in about 10 min . I had gone from a 7 to a 10 and that baby was crowning . TWENTY FIVE MINUTES LATER my doctor came in . He was on his way but traffic was bad . So for 25 minutes I had to endure those ridiculously painful contractions . Poor Jere thought I was gonna break his thumb right off . I might have too , cause it was intense . Apparently I transitioned way to fast and that epidural did a whole lotta nothing . Good thing I 'm a rockstar and I don 't yell . Anywho . . . Doctor sits down , says give me a push which I happily did and out popped Mayzie . No real effort at all . She had a healthy cry and looked quite big . He said . . . . this is a 9 lb . baby . After they cleaned her up , they weighed her and she was 8 lb . 13 oz . to which the dr . replied . . . . she 's 9 lbs . they just dried her off . Hahahaha He also told me I had a little tear , and then proceeded to put in TEN stitches . Good thing that never really hurt me . So that 's it . I actually had a baby without being induced . It was quick and easy , other than that horrid pain one birthing a baby has to endure . HOW do women choose to go through that pain without epidurals ? OY ! That night and the whole next day in the hospital she just never really cried . She was so calm and so serene . I could hear the baby in the room next to me crying alllllllll the time . I finally said to my nurse . . . . my baby never cries . She just smiled and said . . . they come how they come , you 're lucky . And lucky I am . She continues to be the BEST baby . She is just mellow and happy . She rarely cries , she sleeps fully through the night and has since 4 weeks . She wakes up happy , never crying for food , and smiles all the time . We 're so grateful that little Mayzie chose to come to our family and is a part of our life . She makes each day a little sweeter . Listen . . . . . can you hear it ? It 's coming from the distance . There is a faint pounding of the drums . Perhaps a plaintive yet primal yell here and there . Hear it ? There it is . It 's a war cry . Angry La Leche Leaguers are not happy with me . . . . . I 'm going down people , going down . Let 's get one thing straight . I think nursing is great , I think it is grand . I think it 's absolutely amazing that our bodies can produce life giving nutrients for wee babies . I do , I really do . As a sidenote : I am however completely opposed to nursing past 1 year , it creeps me out . And the recent photo on TIME ( totally creeptastic ) did nothing to alleviate those thoughts . HOWEVER . . . . when you 've been cursed blessed with bodacious ta - tas roughly the size of King Kongs fist it 's just not so simple . In layman terms . . . Double D 's that have somehow become overgrown G 's ( you read that right , G ' S ) . This does NOT make a pretty picture , nor a tidy feeding time . Simply put . . . . nursing boobs SUCK ! ( you see what I did there ? ) And worse than these boobs is the effort it takes to try and nurse said wee infants . Due to their largesse I can 't just primly pull out my hooter hider and plop a kid on the boob . Instead , I pretty much require toplessness , so as to hold and manipulate my massive mammory . It 's disturbing when the boob is literally bigger than the entire infant . Somewhere under said feedbag is the child and if you 're not totally careful , paying attention and not holding up , back or whatever the boobie then the baby could quite literally be either crushed to death or suffocate . Can you imagine ? Death by boob ? It isn 't pretty . Never could I nurse in the mothers lounge at church , or under a blanket at a friends house . I can 't stand and do something else whilst baby is suckling . Instead , it is a full on undressed , sitting , holding awkwardly , aching neck kind of ordeal . BUT , I am always willing to try it . A little background . . . . with Maggie I was completely prepared to be a nurser . I wanted to give that child the best . Unfortunately my ginormous tracts of land could barely produce a trickle of life giving light . I would pump and pump and pump and MAYBE get an ounce between 2 teets . Maggie also could care less about eating , so I had to force her to eat and since I was worthless , it was mostly formula filled bottles . I tried to stick with it for 3 mos . but it just ended in a sad sorta way . Wah Wah wah wahhh . Then came Max . This time , I actually produced a little bit more milk , but not much . I TRIED to keep him on the giant breastacle , but before 3 mos . he pretty much flipped me the bird and moved on . Along comes Mayzie . The girl latched on like an Olympic gold medalist . She was a pro at birth . I was feeling quite optomistic . . . . I seemed to be getting much more milk and we had figured out a way for her to feed without imminent suffocation death . Things were moving along nicely . I even FINALLY understood what this whole " letting down " of milk was . I 'd never felt that with the other 2 . But indeed , this time , the factory seemed to be in prime working condition . Zing , Zing . . . there it was . My nipples zinged , must mean the milk is in . And regularly through the day , or when the baby cried , there would be that ZING ! Rather uncomfortable at times if you ask me . My boobs were spilling over any and all bras I owned . I looked freakishly misproportioned . YEP , nursing was happening . THEN . . . . the fated blood clot . They put me on heparin shots for almost 2 weeks . Guess what . . . . no nursing in that time . I pumped and dumped faithfully . I was determined to keep up my supply and make this nursing thing work . My supply was decent . The milk was there . The shots ended and then I was back to nursing . Only , here 's the thing . She has never quite latched the same . She will give me a cursory suckle , but it just is NOT the same . But you know what ? I 'm also perhaps the worlds laziest nurser . I admit it . . . . . LAZY NURSER right here . I mean really , WHO has the time for this , stop everything , sit and nurse this child for 40 minutes every few hours ? I 've got things to do , places to go , kids to take care of . At least you tiny boobed women can nurse places , or multi task whilst nursing . But not me , not possible . So , I find myself more and more just pumping and then giving her the bottle . I will nurse once in the early morning and once at night . Now , the pumping is getting less frequent and the actual nursing , maybe once a day . Because frankly . . . . . bottle feeding is just WAY more convenient . There , I said it . Hate me all you want you breast feeding purists . But , I prefer to give my kid a bottle . And it 's OK ! When you experience breast feeding at my udders size , then come and talk to me . It 's a whole new ballgame . I guess what I 'm saying is . . . . breast feeding just isn 't for everyone , and apparently I 'm one of those people . ( Though I won 't lie , I do enjoy what precious little moments we do have while she nurses , it 's sweet , just not working ) . I want my " regular " large sized funbags back , not these grandeose , out of control poke someones eye out things that I 'm currently sporting . I like to be able to feed my child wherever , whenever I want . I like that anyone else can feed my kid . Bottles are JUST FINE . They 're OK ! And know what else ? My kids are just as smart and just as healthy as your breastfed kids . So there ! I 'm a wife to one , mother of three , sister to five , friend to many , singer , performer and teacher . I love my family . I love to tell the stories of the day to day with a lot of humor and a healthy dose of snark . Life can be hard , we may as well laugh at it .
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When I was 17 years old , I went on a hiking trip in Wales with my best friend . I 'm not sure why I agreed to go with her . I was completely uninterested in endless fields full of sheep , and time has not changed this . We were planning to hike every day for about 20 miles , or however far it was to the next camping site . This would not have been too bad , except for the fact that Wales was experiencing a heat wave for the first time in 15 years . On top of that , the camping sites were a little more " basic " than I had anticipated ; often it was just a field near a farm , without so much as running water . Before long , I started to complain , blaming my friend for suggesting the trip in the first place . After a few days of hiking , we visited some of her friends . They had a lovely little house at the end of a narrow , winding road . Next to the road was an abyss , about 70 feet deep . While we were there , my friend decided she wanted to learn to drive a car , and that she would learn under the guidance of her 17 - year - old friend , who did not have her driver 's license . And stupid me got in the back of the car . To this day , I still don 't know what made me get in the car . My friend was driving slowly along the little winding road . She was doing well ; she paid attention to what she was doing , and did a fine job avoiding some sheep . All of a sudden she accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the clutch , and the car raced forward . Both girls in the front panicked , started to scream , and if things weren 't bad enough already , my friend let go of the steering wheel . I can picture myself sitting in that car so vividly . I grew very quiet , and watched as the car sped faster and out of control off the road , heading straight for the abyss . I remember thinking , " I cannot believe this is happening " , and " I am going to die . " I was waiting for my life to flash before my eyes , but nothing happened . Then again , at 17 I hadn 't accumulated very much life . Instead of falling down into the abyss , we crashed into the one lone tree standingPosted by wwwI 've always loved Sarah Bettens ever since I first saw her perform live in 1996 . She has a great voice , gives a wonderful performance and is also a very sweet person and very down to earth . Not to mention hot . So when I was thinking about which queer European artists I should blog about for eurOut the choice was easily made . I might go see her in concert at the end of the year , if I have found a place to live in the city she is performing . House hunting is a nightmare I do not wish on anyone . In case you have never heard of Sarah Bettens before : Where have you been hiding the last few years ? Even worse , in case you do not like Sarah Bettens : What the hell is wrong with you ? Read my entire blogpost here . I have been watching the first season of Pushing daisies for the last few weeks , trying to figure out whether I like it or not . I mean , I enjoy watching it I guess , but it is soooo weird . That might sound like a strange complaint coming from me . It is true , I usually quite enjoy weird and strange TV shows , but Pushing daisies is a completely different kind of weird . Not sure what I am going on about ? Watch the trailer : You might think it does not look that strange , but hold on … the guy you heard talking over the trailer , he actually does that kind of voice over during the entire show . Moreover , you might think it is a comedy , but it is not … or maybe it is . Who knows ? It is confusing to say the least . And then there 's the actually premise of the show , which is weird as well . There is still guy who can make people come back to life by touching them , but when he touches them a second time they die again . To make it more complicated , if he does not touch them again within 20 seconds , someone else dies instead . So all in all , not a very useful gift to have , even though there seems to be a great demand for it on the show . When the guy is not making pies , he is touching dead people to make them talk and confess stuff . There is also a girl ( isn 't there always ? ) … who he brought back to life and did not kill again within 20 seconds , because he has a huge crush on her . Nice isn 't it , he let someone else die so she could live again . Problem is , they can never ever touch , because as soon as they do she will die . Very original I must say , but how long can you watch a couple who can never ever get it on before it gets old ? I don 't know . Like I keep saying , this show is very very weird … I keep watching , but I am still not quite sure whether I really like it or if this show is truly too weird even for me . What do you think ? Posted by Now that Madonna is touring Europe it makes me think back of another time … many many years ago … when she was also touring Europe . Back in the summer of 1987 she visited the Netherlands during her Who 's that girl tour . I was just a little 10 - year - old back then , but a huge Madonna fan nevertheless . I had the t - shirt and the bracelets , and I knew all the songs by heart . When I heard she was coming to give a concert near where we lived I got all excited . I got even more excited when on the night of the concert my parents took my little sister and me to the stadium to experience some of the excitement . This was my first time near the huge football stadium and I remember being very much impressed by it all . There were so many people and they were all there to see Madonna . Some even wore the same t - shirts and bracelets I did , only they were grown ups . How weird . I vaguely recall my mother contemplating whether or not she should by some last minute tickets they were selling outside . I think the extremely high prices put her off and she decided just being near the stadium was excitement enough . And it was . Once the concert started , you could clearly hear the songs , and even though we could not see a thing this really did not matter to my sister and I . I can clearly recall us standing on the gates surrounding the stadium singing along with Madonna 's songs at the top of our lungs . At one point it even started to rain I think , but we really did not care . It has been over 20 years , but just watching this clips makes me feel like it was only yesterday … This question made me list all the things I regret , everything I could have and should have done differently . I did not just recall events from the past year , but went back 10 years , 20 years and even farther . I am one of those people who tend to remember everything , including every little stupid thing I have ever said or done . I am also the kind of person that enjoys making lists . After thorough consideration and deliberation , I came up with my most crucial , or what I like to call my If only 's . If only I had joined the other kids playing in the sandbox in kindergarten when they asked me to , instead of shyly remaining stuck to my mother . Those kids had such friendly smiles , not to mention cool little sandbox toys . If only I had come out when I knew I was gay at age 17 or 18 , both to myself and to the world , instead of waiting until after college . Those supposedly best years of my life were wasted on keeping my distance from both guys and girls , and worst of all , on actual studying . If only I had never taught my mother how to use the internet , and explained what chat rooms were all about . Then maybe she never would have divorced my father after 26 years of marriage and left him for another man she met online . If only I would have taken the time to think before I spoke , or at least counted to 10 . This applies to numerous occasions , too many to specify . I probably would be a lot less outspoken today , but I also would have pissed off and unnecessarily offended a lot less people along the way . My first if only example , me as a 4 - year - old on the playground , would be the ultimate do - over . I would go back in time 27 years and do over that first incident I can recall when I refrained from doing something I wanted to do because of shyness . I would find out in kindergarten what it now took me until high school or even college to learn , that the world is not such a scary place , and simple human interaction will not kill you . In fact , sometimes it can be very enjoyable . But you know what ? Even though I 've made mistakes , and therePosted by A new website for lesbian and bisexual women has just been launched called EurOut . EurOut was started as a European reaction to the popular American website AfterEllen , which I am always plugging on here . EurOut is basically an entertainment and societal website aimed at European queer women . It will feature the latest European entertainment news , as well as queer books , comics , and films . In addition , the focus will also be on more societal issues and European politics . Currently the site is still under construction , but you can already check it out to get an idea of what it is going to be like . There 's also already plenty of blogposts on there to give you a taste of what is to come . The reason I am plugging this site , is not just because I think it is awesome , but also because I am going to be blogging for them . I 'll be covering anything and everything to do with gay entertainment . Pretty much like I do on here , only with a more European focus . Check out my first contribution about queer author Nicola Griffith here . This weekend I went over to my sister 's house for Clown night . What is clown night , you might wonder . Well , let me tell you . Clown night is this awesome idea where you download some of the worst and weirdest evil clown movies and you watch them all in a row while drinking margaritas . It was simply awesome . As you might recall , I really do not like clowns at all . In fact , I think they are all evil . Don 't agree with me ? Well , it is not for nothing that there are so many movies about evil clowns out there . There is just something terribly disturbing ( not to mention wrong ) about grown men dressing up in a clown suit , paint their faces and try to amuse little children . I pretty much feel the same way about mimes and Santa Claus . Anyways , some of the awesome movies we watched include Clownhouse , Drive Thru and It . Let me just briefly explain why each of these movies are disturbing and / or awesome . Clownhouse is a movie about a boy with an extreme fear of clowns . One night three psychopaths escape from a mental institution , kill the local circus clowns , dress up like them and break into the house of the boy with the clown phobia . You might think that plotline is slightly disturbing , but it is nothing compared to Drive Thru , a slasher movie in which the killer is a Fast Food clown named Horny who kills anyone and everyone who comes in his way . I like it because it is both a nice Scream rip off , as well as it makes fun of McDonalds . Most of all , this movie is extremely bad . And yes , the clown is really called Horny . There is something very disturbing about being chased by a psychotic murderous clown who is also screaming that he is horny . Finally , It is of course a nice classic that looks very dated , but still manages to amuse . I mean , c ' mon , it is about an evil clown from outer space who lives in the sewers and eats little children ! Watch this space for some more in depth reviews soon ! Everyone seems to have a MySpace page these days and those that do not are probably thinking about getting one . Online communities are the world 's newest obsession . It is no longer about talking to each other face to face or even by phone , but instead we send each other comments on MySpace to let someone know how we are doing or what we think about something . Moreover , more and more people are starting to use MySpace to find out how others are doing and especially what they are doing and with whom they are doing it . If someone does not have a private MySpace profile , anyone and everyone can see who their friends are and what they are all talking about . Not only can you look at that person 's page , you can also easily have a peek into all of their friends ' MySpace pages , and their friends ' pages . Before you know it , you basically know what everyone in your town or at your university gets up to . That is the main problem with MySpace , people seem to forget , or they just do not care , that everyone can read the comments that they are sending to each other . This would not be so problematic if people would only refrain from talking about personal stuff . But no , so many people feel the need to send MySpace comments about their love life or their relationship problems or worse even , about other people 's love lives and relationship problems . I have heard too many people say that they actually keep track of what their ex girlfriends get up to via MySpace . It is getting a little bit out of hand and the only thing you can do to stop your exes , your family or complete strangers from reading what you are telling people and what they are telling you , is to hide your MySpace comments . You no longer have to worry about your friends finding out who is sending you comments , your ex girlfriend can no longer check how your new relationship is going , and complete strangers who have no business knowing about your business won 't be able to anymore . There really is no good reason for you to keep your MySpace comments public , unless ofPosted by I have only been at my new job for a few weeks and already I am struck by all the discrimination that is going on . No don 't worry , this has nothing to do with gender , ethnicity or even sexual orientation . The only thing my new workplace discriminates against is single people . Yep , you read that right . They have lots of nice rules , bonuses etcetera that only apply to people who are married ( or an equivalent like domestic or registered partnership ) . For example , because I have not found a house yet in the town I started work I have to commute a lot and sometimes I even have to stay the night at a hotel . They have this great rule where they pay you back a certain percentage of the costs that are involved . At least , I thought it was a great rule until I found out there are different rules for different people . If you are married they pay you back 90 % of your hotel costs , but if you are single they only pay you 60 % . WTF ? I cannot think of any reasons at all why this would make sense . It is not like it is cheaper to be single . Ok maybe it is , but my hotel room costs just as much as that of the married person . Being in a serious relationship or not does not really have any connection with hotel expenses , or does it ? If you can think of anything , please let me know . Now companies often have rules that discriminate against single people ( or as the married folks like to say , give married people extras because it 's so expensive to raise a family blah blah blah ) , but at least in most of these cases it actually makes sense . Actually , I never think it makes sense , but at least I can try to see where they are coming from . In this case , however , it is just ridiculous . One of my straight friends ( yep , the same one who does not understand the concept of online dating ) has already offered to pretend to be in a domestic partnership with me . That 's sweet of her , although she did not get why I refused . It is not about getting the extra money ( 60 % would have been fine with me ) , but it 's about the fact that some people are getting moPosted by I love bargains ! After getting lots and lots of cheap cool books at the book fair recently , I now came across a video store that was having a clear out . All there DVD 's had to go for ridiculously low prices . Of course I could not resist the " 10 DVD 's for 25 Euro " advertisements and came home with my arms full of DVD 's . Some of these I really wanted , while others I just threw in there just for fun . Curious what I got ? Well , I 'm going to tell you anyway . I bought some awesome thrillers I have already seen or never got around to watching , including the Grudge , Saw , Venom and the Descent . The GrudgeSome documentaries , comedies and guilty pleasures were also part of the collection . One movie I am particularly excited about is Tankgirl . Not the best movie ever made , but such fun . Plus it has a killer soundtrack . TankgirlThere were also some lesbian treasures among my findings , including the fine art of love , about innocent young girls at a secluded boarding school where they are trained to be ballerinas . School girls in love or lust always make me uncomfortable … The fine art of love Weird , artsy and probably very cruel and wrong , with an unhappy ending . The other film is Unveiled ( Fremde Haut ) , a German movie about an Iranian lesbian who flees to Germany to avoid getting hanged . When she is refused refuge , she decides to stay in Germany illegally and she takes on the identity of an Iranian man . Unveiled ( Fremde Haut ) It 's about the harsh reality of life for queer Iranians , yet at the same time it 's also a love story . Check out my review soon . I 'm not a very sportive person . That is probably the understatement of the year . I really cannot stand most sports , especially if they involve teams , balls or worse , both . The thing is though , you have to exercise . It 's good for you , it 's healthy and it prevents you from becoming the kind of person who needs two seats on a plane . Blah blah blah . It 's not even that I dislike exercise . In fact , you can get me to do just about anything as long as you can convince me it is not a sport . I 'm weird that way . A bigger problem I have is that of lack of motivation . Sure , I want to exercise , but I am just too lazy to get my ass of the couch . At least , that is the way it used to be . Then I started thinking I really should be getting more exercise . Thinking let to contemplating and I was almost there . What finally made me get off my lazy bum was this Vlog by comedian Jenny McNulty called Walking funny with . In it she and her guest , which is usually a queer comedian or sports person go on a walk while she interviews them . Not only that , but she also tries to encourage the viewers to walk more . I enjoyed her vlog from the start , but to be honest at first I just let her talk . I wanted to start walking , but I wasn 't just going to stand up and walk at my desk . So I started thinking I should go out to walk , but the weather kept being bad . Weeks went by with Jenny telling me I should just go out and walk . So finally one day I did . It has been a few weeks and I am still walking . Every night I leave my apartment and walk for an hour . Sometimes alone , and sometimes I 'm with my roommate . It 's great , I should have done it much sooner . Who would have thought I actually enjoy walking . Thanks , Jenny . One of my straight friends is obsessed with online dating . That is to say , she is not actually dating anyone online , nor is she meeting up with anyone she has met online , she is merely obsessed with the thought of online dating . Ok maybe a little bit more than just the thought . She actually signed up with one of those dating sites and for weeks now I heard her talk about what a wonderful invention this is . She kept telling me about all these guys who sent her messages . I was assuming she was replying to them , perhaps trying to get to know them better . Nope . She was merely reading their messages and profiles . The whole idea of actually getting into contact with these guys had not even crossed her mind . She seriously told me " Well , I guess I could reply to the ones I like . But what if they want to meet me or something ? " I tried to explain to her that that was the whole point of these online dating sites . She did not seem to get it . It does not stop her from talking about it though . Apparently , men from all over the world find her interesting and exciting ( My words not hers ) . She still has not responded to any of them though . I told her she should just give it a try and start dating some of these guys . She said she would if I would do the same . Find some women online to date , I mean . Great . On Friday ( sorry guys , real life is interfering with my blogging time these days ) it was announced that Katee Sackhoff is going to play a detective in Lost and Found , a new crime show from the producer of Law and Order . Katee is supposed to play the main character of the show , " an offbeat female LAPD detective who , after butting heads with the higher - ups , is sent as a punishment to the basement to work on John Does and Jane Doe cases " . That sounds like her character is going to be just a little insubordinate . I wonder why that sounds familiar . Now I heart Katee Sackhoff , so I would watch her in anything , but this sounds like it might actually be a good show . Unlike another TV series she was supposed to have a recurring role in . Are you excited ? I know I am ! When I was younger I wanted this song to play at my funeral . What can I say ? I don 't any longer , nor am I as preoccupied with death as I used to be . I still think it is a great song though . I love that more and more websites start to appear that provide us lesbians with some cool lesbian content . It used to be the case that besides a few informational sites , there really was not that much as far as entertainment goes . These days there is lots of fun stuff for us to choose from . Whether it is cool entertainment websites ( AfterEllen , EurOut ) , Webisodes ( 3Way , Girltrash ) , Podcasts ( My Lesbian Radio ) or fun blogs by lesbians ( Dorothy Surrenders , Final Girl , Comedy Double Standards ) . You are probably all familiar with most of the above sites , but have you already heard of Tellofilms ? I stumbled upon this site by accident . Ok not completely by accident … I was actually looking for fun stuff on YouTube when I came across an interview with a link to Tellofilms . Tellofilms is this cool website full of lesbian related videos . Like a queer You Tube if you like . Not only do they have a really nice collection of videos ( e . g . , Michelle Paradise 's Ten Rules short , Uh huh her videos ) , they also do interviews with anyone and everyone . That is really why I love this site . Not so much for who they interview ( so far this includes pretty much anyone who 's ever been on AfterEllen . In other words , all the queer ladies in LA ) , but how . These interviews are seriously funny . At least they cracked me up . Who needs the usual serious and boring interview questions when you call talk about random stuff instead ? Check it out Tellofilms , I can guarantee you are going to love it ! Ever wondered what I got up to twelve years ago ? Well , probably not , but I am going to tell you anyway . I used to love to spend my time going to music festivals . I was heavy into anything then termed " alternative " or indie if you will . These days we would just call it guitar rock I guess , but back in 1996 it was all kinda new . New and exciting . I thought it was just me being nostalgic , but then I decided to look up some of the line up of one of the Dutch festivals I visited that year : Pinkpop . Radiohead , Bush , K 's Choice , Alanis Morissette , Skunk Anansie , the Gathering , Rage Against the Machine , Therapy , Supergrass , Sepultura , and well , a few others . How awesome is that line up ? Very . Even awesomer is that I was there . As a very naive and probably very stoned 19 year old . Oh those were the days . I still love most of the performances I watched that summer 12 years ago . Curious what you missed ? Check out some of the actual performances right here : K 's Choice and Skin : Not an addictBush : BombThe Gathering - Strange machinesRadiohead : CreepAlanis Morissette : You oughta knowSkunk Anansie : WeakTherapy : A moment of Clarity I went to a book fair the other day which was awesome . I love books and I love reading , so any kind of book fair is such fun for me . However , the only thing I like more than a great hall full of cool books , is a great hall full of cool cheap books . Every year in the Netherlands we have this huge book fair during which they sell all the back stock of the year very cheaply . We are talking only an average of 2 euro for perfectly good books . I tried not to go overboard , but I still went home with about 25 books . Pocket books mainly , so - called suspense novels . In addition , I also picked up with really cool 6 book box set of James Herbert novels for hardly any money at all . Just thinking about it makes me happy . Over the years I have bought so many books I have lost track of what books I actually own . Therefore I have made this great Excel spreadsheet that catalogues every single book I own , along with a nice rating system . Yeah , I know , I am such a geek . I am hoping to one day have an entire wall in my living room that is covered in books . You know , like my own personal library . That would be awesome . I 'm getting there . Give me a few more years . Oh how I heart books ! Firefly is the brilliant TV show by Joss Whedon that never got the chance it deserved . It was cancelled after it aired for only 11 episodes in 2002 . They did shoot a total of 14 episodes that you should buy on DVD if you don 't own them already ! In case you 're not familiar with this series , let me briefly give you an idea what it 's about . It 's set in the future , in outer space . The show mixes science fiction with westerns , which sounds a lot stranger than it is . Like many of Whedon 's shows , the strength lies in the great characters and their bond with one another . There 's some great dialogue , cool stories and the show manages to be both serious and humorous . Unfortunately the entire story of this series never got told , even though a good effort was made in the 2005 movie Serenity . Only Joss Whedon makes a successful movie out of a cancelled TV series ( or a successful TV series out of a crap movie , like he did with Buffy ) . A little more about the back story of Firefly : The main character is Captain Malcolm Reynolds , a war veteran of the resistance against the Alliance , an organization that attempted to achieve the unification of all humankind under a single imperial government . The resistance lost the war , and therefore , a central core of planetary systems have fallen under Alliance control , while settlers and refugees in the farther reaches of space enjoy relative freedom , but lack many of the amenities of a high - tech civilization . Malcolm now owns a small Firefly - class star ship , after which the TV show was named , making cargo runs and performing various other tasks , both legal and illegal , in order to make a living for both for himself and his crew . The crew consists of Zoe , a wartime friend of Malcolm and second in command ; Wash , Zoe 's husband and pilot of the ship ; Inara , a companion ( which is basically a high - class hooker ) ; Kaylee , the ship 's mechanic and a really sweet girl ; Jayne , a rather straight - forward and not too intelligent thug ; Shepherd Book , a preacher who is not all what he seems to be ; Posted by Not a specific person or topic this time . Just thought I would share with you a few random pictures of women I think are hot . It is not so much about the women , even though they are of course all beautiful in their own way , but about the particular shots of them that I love . Interesting isn 't it , what 2 years of stealing JPEGs from AfterEllen and Dorothy Surrenders can gives you … quite the collection of hot women photos . Enjoy ! P . S . I had way too many pictures to select some for just one week . So check back next Saturday for more photos of hot women . Posted by Today on the train I was sitting opposite a woman who was breastfeeding her baby . I 'm not usually around babies let alone breastfeeding mothers , so I wasn 't quite sure how to act . I mean , of course it is a perfectly normal thing and the kid probably needed to eat , but still . It did not change the fact that a perfect stranger was sitting opposite me with her breasts exposed . What is proper breastfeeding etiquette these days ? Should women feel free to breast feed in public or should they try to be a little less obvious about it ? More importantly , how is the observer of this practice supposed to act ? I did not think it was necessary to look away , but somehow I don 't think I was supposed to ogle at her breasts . Right ? Good thing I had a book with me , so I did not have to worry about it . Not much , anyway . Am I a horrible person for noticing she had amazing breasts ? When I lived in Germany one of my favourite things to do was to make fun of the Germans . Obviously Germans did not always get it or like what we were doing , but my Dutch colleague and I sure had a lot of laughs at their expense . I want to share a few fun videos with you that illustrate just exactly why Germans deserve to be made fun of . P . S . I love Germans . Honest . The " classic " MTV Gunther commercial about German stereotypes : I especially love the David Hasselhoff poster . Why learning to speak proper English is important : Even the Simposons and Southpark chime in to make fun of stereotypes : When I was a teenager people always said I looked older than I was . When I was 12 or 13 they thought I was 15 or 16 . I guess I just hit puberty rather early , which set the whole looking older thing in motion . It did not last very long though . At some point I stopped looking older and maybe I even stopped aging altogether . Ok that is not exactly true , but I do know that from the moment my age went past 21 people started thinking I was younger . I have a sister who is three years younger than me and most people used to think she is the eldest . I always found that quite embarrassing , especially because people treat you differently when they think you are younger than you are . Hell , they even treat me differently depending on my hair colour . I 'm a blonde but I usually dye my hair brown and believe it or not whenever I am blonde people act differently around me . They think I am dumber and guys hit on me more . Weird . Anyways , these days I still look much younger than I am . I 'm 31 but most people think I am somewhere in my mid twenties . That serves me fine , especially if this keeps up and they will still think I 'm much younger when I 'm 40 or 50 . However , the other day I had my haircut slightly shorter than I usually have it and that was a really really bad idea . I think I look like I 'm 12 ! Ok no one would actually think that I am 12 , but I might pass for 21 or under 21 even . I hate it . I do not care about age or I like to think that I do not , but secretly I am an ageist at heart . I am kind of prejudiced against young people , in the sense that I do not threat college age people the same way as I do anyone older than that . Therefore the thought of anyone thinking I belong in that age range is simply horrible . Is there anything one can do against a baby face ? I know it helps to dress a certain way , everyone always thinks I 'm older whenever I wear a suit . I know this isn 't really all that important , but still it bothers me . I 've just started a new job and I do not want everyone to wonder what that kid is doing at thePosted by I just finished reading the Harlequin by Laurell K . Hamilton , book 14 of her amazing Anita Blake vampire hunter novels . These novels are not like your average vampire novels , but instead they are so much more . More of what ? Well , I could sum it up with more demons , violence and sex , but that would not do these books justice . Although it is true , that especially the books later in the series include a lot of demons , violence and sex . A lot of sex . The series are about Anita Blake , a vampire hunter and necromancer . The latter means she can raise the dead , which is very convenient for a lot of people . She actually works for a firm where people can hire her to raise the dead for them . For example , lawyers hire her when they need someone who is dead to testify or tell them how they died . In the world of Anita Blake this is all perfectly normal . So is the existence of vampires and shape shifters . In fact , in the world of these novels ( which is present day United States , only an alternate reality version of it ) vampires and shape shifters are treated as humans or at least have many rights to exist and live a normal life . The series starts out with Anita Blake as a righteous person who just wants that one special person to share her life with . Pretty soon she finds out that things aren 't as black and white and learns to redefine her morals . That is when the violence and sex parts come in . She starts dating the master vampire of the city , which of course is not the smartest thing to do if you are a vampire hunter , and through acts of metaphysics becomes his human servant . At the same time she is also dating another guy , who is a shape shifter werewolf . Through all kinds of weird and mainly meta physical circumstances , she ends up with about six boyfriends by the time we get to book 14 . When Anita is not having sex she is killing demons , vampires and other evil guys . Just writing all this down makes the books sound very very bad , but trust me they make for a great read . If you are into this sort of thing of course . They would pNatazzz The all new Beverly Hills 90210 remake is about to start airing and I have not made up my mind yet whether or not I am excited about this . Don 't get me wrong , I loved 90210 the first time around just like every other kid around the world . It was simply the first really well done show about teenage drama . Oh and what a drama they all experienced ! I used to have a bit of a crush on Dylan , although looking back on it now I think I really wanted to be him . He simply was the coolest guy I had ever seen . Even cooler than Andrew McCarthy . The girl I loved the most was Emily Valentine , who was only on the show for a couple of episodes as Brandon 's crazy girlfriend . But damn she was hot … or I should say cool , which is what I thought at the time . The other woman I really liked on 90210 was Brenda , played by Shannon Doherty . Apparently , she is coming back for the remake . I guess she must be playing someone 's mom now then . Weird . Other people that are making an appearance in the remake include Jenny Garth , who I always really hated as Kelly . But not as much as I hated Donna . Yes I know it is not a popular thing to say , but I could not stand the girl . I hated both the way she looked ( I 'm sorry but she looks like a cow . There , I said it . ) and her dumb naive " I 'm saving myself for marriage " attitude . Who does that ? I remember when David could not wait any longer and had sex with … what 's her name ? I do not remember , just that she was hot and I felt Donna deserved it . I was such a horrible teenager . Didn 't David try to have some sort of rapping career ? Too funny . Oh the one other person I could not stand on the show was Steve . He was such a dumb guy and I hated his curly hair . I hope he is not coming back . Who I do want to come back is Andrea and all of the original cast really . Of course that will not happen . That makes me wonder why I should watch a show that has the same name and same premise as the original show , but has nothing to do with it . At least most of the people playing in it will be different . Maybe I am jPosted by
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When I was 17 years old , I went on a hiking trip in Wales with my best friend . I 'm not sure why I agreed to go with her . I was completely uninterested in endless fields full of sheep , and time has not changed this . We were planning to hike every day for about 20 miles , or however far it was to the next camping site . This would not have been too bad , except for the fact that Wales was experiencing a heat wave for the first time in 15 years . On top of that , the camping sites were a little more " basic " than I had anticipated ; often it was just a field near a farm , without so much as running water . Before long , I started to complain , blaming my friend for suggesting the trip in the first place . After a few days of hiking , we visited some of her friends . They had a lovely little house at the end of a narrow , winding road . Next to the road was an abyss , about 70 feet deep . While we were there , my friend decided she wanted to learn to drive a car , and that she would learn under the guidance of her 17 - year - old friend , who did not have her driver 's license . And stupid me got in the back of the car . To this day , I still don 't know what made me get in the car . My friend was driving slowly along the little winding road . She was doing well ; she paid attention to what she was doing , and did a fine job avoiding some sheep . All of a sudden she accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the clutch , and the car raced forward . Both girls in the front panicked , started to scream , and if things weren 't bad enough already , my friend let go of the steering wheel . I can picture myself sitting in that car so vividly . I grew very quiet , and watched as the car sped faster and out of control off the road , heading straight for the abyss . I remember thinking , " I cannot believe this is happening " , and " I am going to die . " I was waiting for my life to flash before my eyes , but nothing happened . Then again , at 17 I hadn 't accumulated very much life . Instead of falling down into the abyss , we crashed into the one lone tree standingPosted by wwwI 've always loved Sarah Bettens ever since I first saw her perform live in 1996 . She has a great voice , gives a wonderful performance and is also a very sweet person and very down to earth . Not to mention hot . So when I was thinking about which queer European artists I should blog about for eurOut the choice was easily made . I might go see her in concert at the end of the year , if I have found a place to live in the city she is performing . House hunting is a nightmare I do not wish on anyone . In case you have never heard of Sarah Bettens before : Where have you been hiding the last few years ? Even worse , in case you do not like Sarah Bettens : What the hell is wrong with you ? Read my entire blogpost here . I have been watching the first season of Pushing daisies for the last few weeks , trying to figure out whether I like it or not . I mean , I enjoy watching it I guess , but it is soooo weird . That might sound like a strange complaint coming from me . It is true , I usually quite enjoy weird and strange TV shows , but Pushing daisies is a completely different kind of weird . Not sure what I am going on about ? Watch the trailer : You might think it does not look that strange , but hold on … the guy you heard talking over the trailer , he actually does that kind of voice over during the entire show . Moreover , you might think it is a comedy , but it is not … or maybe it is . Who knows ? It is confusing to say the least . And then there 's the actually premise of the show , which is weird as well . There is still guy who can make people come back to life by touching them , but when he touches them a second time they die again . To make it more complicated , if he does not touch them again within 20 seconds , someone else dies instead . So all in all , not a very useful gift to have , even though there seems to be a great demand for it on the show . When the guy is not making pies , he is touching dead people to make them talk and confess stuff . There is also a girl ( isn 't there always ? ) … who he brought back to life and did not kill again within 20 seconds , because he has a huge crush on her . Nice isn 't it , he let someone else die so she could live again . Problem is , they can never ever touch , because as soon as they do she will die . Very original I must say , but how long can you watch a couple who can never ever get it on before it gets old ? I don 't know . Like I keep saying , this show is very very weird … I keep watching , but I am still not quite sure whether I really like it or if this show is truly too weird even for me . What do you think ? Posted by Now that Madonna is touring Europe it makes me think back of another time … many many years ago … when she was also touring Europe . Back in the summer of 1987 she visited the Netherlands during her Who 's that girl tour . I was just a little 10 - year - old back then , but a huge Madonna fan nevertheless . I had the t - shirt and the bracelets , and I knew all the songs by heart . When I heard she was coming to give a concert near where we lived I got all excited . I got even more excited when on the night of the concert my parents took my little sister and me to the stadium to experience some of the excitement . This was my first time near the huge football stadium and I remember being very much impressed by it all . There were so many people and they were all there to see Madonna . Some even wore the same t - shirts and bracelets I did , only they were grown ups . How weird . I vaguely recall my mother contemplating whether or not she should by some last minute tickets they were selling outside . I think the extremely high prices put her off and she decided just being near the stadium was excitement enough . And it was . Once the concert started , you could clearly hear the songs , and even though we could not see a thing this really did not matter to my sister and I . I can clearly recall us standing on the gates surrounding the stadium singing along with Madonna 's songs at the top of our lungs . At one point it even started to rain I think , but we really did not care . It has been over 20 years , but just watching this clips makes me feel like it was only yesterday … This question made me list all the things I regret , everything I could have and should have done differently . I did not just recall events from the past year , but went back 10 years , 20 years and even farther . I am one of those people who tend to remember everything , including every little stupid thing I have ever said or done . I am also the kind of person that enjoys making lists . After thorough consideration and deliberation , I came up with my most crucial , or what I like to call my If only 's . If only I had joined the other kids playing in the sandbox in kindergarten when they asked me to , instead of shyly remaining stuck to my mother . Those kids had such friendly smiles , not to mention cool little sandbox toys . If only I had come out when I knew I was gay at age 17 or 18 , both to myself and to the world , instead of waiting until after college . Those supposedly best years of my life were wasted on keeping my distance from both guys and girls , and worst of all , on actual studying . If only I had never taught my mother how to use the internet , and explained what chat rooms were all about . Then maybe she never would have divorced my father after 26 years of marriage and left him for another man she met online . If only I would have taken the time to think before I spoke , or at least counted to 10 . This applies to numerous occasions , too many to specify . I probably would be a lot less outspoken today , but I also would have pissed off and unnecessarily offended a lot less people along the way . My first if only example , me as a 4 - year - old on the playground , would be the ultimate do - over . I would go back in time 27 years and do over that first incident I can recall when I refrained from doing something I wanted to do because of shyness . I would find out in kindergarten what it now took me until high school or even college to learn , that the world is not such a scary place , and simple human interaction will not kill you . In fact , sometimes it can be very enjoyable . But you know what ? Even though I 've made mistakes , and therePosted by A new website for lesbian and bisexual women has just been launched called EurOut . EurOut was started as a European reaction to the popular American website AfterEllen , which I am always plugging on here . EurOut is basically an entertainment and societal website aimed at European queer women . It will feature the latest European entertainment news , as well as queer books , comics , and films . In addition , the focus will also be on more societal issues and European politics . Currently the site is still under construction , but you can already check it out to get an idea of what it is going to be like . There 's also already plenty of blogposts on there to give you a taste of what is to come . The reason I am plugging this site , is not just because I think it is awesome , but also because I am going to be blogging for them . I 'll be covering anything and everything to do with gay entertainment . Pretty much like I do on here , only with a more European focus . Check out my first contribution about queer author Nicola Griffith here . This weekend I went over to my sister 's house for Clown night . What is clown night , you might wonder . Well , let me tell you . Clown night is this awesome idea where you download some of the worst and weirdest evil clown movies and you watch them all in a row while drinking margaritas . It was simply awesome . As you might recall , I really do not like clowns at all . In fact , I think they are all evil . Don 't agree with me ? Well , it is not for nothing that there are so many movies about evil clowns out there . There is just something terribly disturbing ( not to mention wrong ) about grown men dressing up in a clown suit , paint their faces and try to amuse little children . I pretty much feel the same way about mimes and Santa Claus . Anyways , some of the awesome movies we watched include Clownhouse , Drive Thru and It . Let me just briefly explain why each of these movies are disturbing and / or awesome . Clownhouse is a movie about a boy with an extreme fear of clowns . One night three psychopaths escape from a mental institution , kill the local circus clowns , dress up like them and break into the house of the boy with the clown phobia . You might think that plotline is slightly disturbing , but it is nothing compared to Drive Thru , a slasher movie in which the killer is a Fast Food clown named Horny who kills anyone and everyone who comes in his way . I like it because it is both a nice Scream rip off , as well as it makes fun of McDonalds . Most of all , this movie is extremely bad . And yes , the clown is really called Horny . There is something very disturbing about being chased by a psychotic murderous clown who is also screaming that he is horny . Finally , It is of course a nice classic that looks very dated , but still manages to amuse . I mean , c ' mon , it is about an evil clown from outer space who lives in the sewers and eats little children ! Watch this space for some more in depth reviews soon ! Everyone seems to have a MySpace page these days and those that do not are probably thinking about getting one . Online communities are the world 's newest obsession . It is no longer about talking to each other face to face or even by phone , but instead we send each other comments on MySpace to let someone know how we are doing or what we think about something . Moreover , more and more people are starting to use MySpace to find out how others are doing and especially what they are doing and with whom they are doing it . If someone does not have a private MySpace profile , anyone and everyone can see who their friends are and what they are all talking about . Not only can you look at that person 's page , you can also easily have a peek into all of their friends ' MySpace pages , and their friends ' pages . Before you know it , you basically know what everyone in your town or at your university gets up to . That is the main problem with MySpace , people seem to forget , or they just do not care , that everyone can read the comments that they are sending to each other . This would not be so problematic if people would only refrain from talking about personal stuff . But no , so many people feel the need to send MySpace comments about their love life or their relationship problems or worse even , about other people 's love lives and relationship problems . I have heard too many people say that they actually keep track of what their ex girlfriends get up to via MySpace . It is getting a little bit out of hand and the only thing you can do to stop your exes , your family or complete strangers from reading what you are telling people and what they are telling you , is to hide your MySpace comments . You no longer have to worry about your friends finding out who is sending you comments , your ex girlfriend can no longer check how your new relationship is going , and complete strangers who have no business knowing about your business won 't be able to anymore . There really is no good reason for you to keep your MySpace comments public , unless ofPosted by I have only been at my new job for a few weeks and already I am struck by all the discrimination that is going on . No don 't worry , this has nothing to do with gender , ethnicity or even sexual orientation . The only thing my new workplace discriminates against is single people . Yep , you read that right . They have lots of nice rules , bonuses etcetera that only apply to people who are married ( or an equivalent like domestic or registered partnership ) . For example , because I have not found a house yet in the town I started work I have to commute a lot and sometimes I even have to stay the night at a hotel . They have this great rule where they pay you back a certain percentage of the costs that are involved . At least , I thought it was a great rule until I found out there are different rules for different people . If you are married they pay you back 90 % of your hotel costs , but if you are single they only pay you 60 % . WTF ? I cannot think of any reasons at all why this would make sense . It is not like it is cheaper to be single . Ok maybe it is , but my hotel room costs just as much as that of the married person . Being in a serious relationship or not does not really have any connection with hotel expenses , or does it ? If you can think of anything , please let me know . Now companies often have rules that discriminate against single people ( or as the married folks like to say , give married people extras because it 's so expensive to raise a family blah blah blah ) , but at least in most of these cases it actually makes sense . Actually , I never think it makes sense , but at least I can try to see where they are coming from . In this case , however , it is just ridiculous . One of my straight friends ( yep , the same one who does not understand the concept of online dating ) has already offered to pretend to be in a domestic partnership with me . That 's sweet of her , although she did not get why I refused . It is not about getting the extra money ( 60 % would have been fine with me ) , but it 's about the fact that some people are getting moPosted by I love bargains ! After getting lots and lots of cheap cool books at the book fair recently , I now came across a video store that was having a clear out . All there DVD 's had to go for ridiculously low prices . Of course I could not resist the " 10 DVD 's for 25 Euro " advertisements and came home with my arms full of DVD 's . Some of these I really wanted , while others I just threw in there just for fun . Curious what I got ? Well , I 'm going to tell you anyway . I bought some awesome thrillers I have already seen or never got around to watching , including the Grudge , Saw , Venom and the Descent . The GrudgeSome documentaries , comedies and guilty pleasures were also part of the collection . One movie I am particularly excited about is Tankgirl . Not the best movie ever made , but such fun . Plus it has a killer soundtrack . TankgirlThere were also some lesbian treasures among my findings , including the fine art of love , about innocent young girls at a secluded boarding school where they are trained to be ballerinas . School girls in love or lust always make me uncomfortable … The fine art of love Weird , artsy and probably very cruel and wrong , with an unhappy ending . The other film is Unveiled ( Fremde Haut ) , a German movie about an Iranian lesbian who flees to Germany to avoid getting hanged . When she is refused refuge , she decides to stay in Germany illegally and she takes on the identity of an Iranian man . Unveiled ( Fremde Haut ) It 's about the harsh reality of life for queer Iranians , yet at the same time it 's also a love story . Check out my review soon . I 'm not a very sportive person . That is probably the understatement of the year . I really cannot stand most sports , especially if they involve teams , balls or worse , both . The thing is though , you have to exercise . It 's good for you , it 's healthy and it prevents you from becoming the kind of person who needs two seats on a plane . Blah blah blah . It 's not even that I dislike exercise . In fact , you can get me to do just about anything as long as you can convince me it is not a sport . I 'm weird that way . A bigger problem I have is that of lack of motivation . Sure , I want to exercise , but I am just too lazy to get my ass of the couch . At least , that is the way it used to be . Then I started thinking I really should be getting more exercise . Thinking let to contemplating and I was almost there . What finally made me get off my lazy bum was this Vlog by comedian Jenny McNulty called Walking funny with . In it she and her guest , which is usually a queer comedian or sports person go on a walk while she interviews them . Not only that , but she also tries to encourage the viewers to walk more . I enjoyed her vlog from the start , but to be honest at first I just let her talk . I wanted to start walking , but I wasn 't just going to stand up and walk at my desk . So I started thinking I should go out to walk , but the weather kept being bad . Weeks went by with Jenny telling me I should just go out and walk . So finally one day I did . It has been a few weeks and I am still walking . Every night I leave my apartment and walk for an hour . Sometimes alone , and sometimes I 'm with my roommate . It 's great , I should have done it much sooner . Who would have thought I actually enjoy walking . Thanks , Jenny . One of my straight friends is obsessed with online dating . That is to say , she is not actually dating anyone online , nor is she meeting up with anyone she has met online , she is merely obsessed with the thought of online dating . Ok maybe a little bit more than just the thought . She actually signed up with one of those dating sites and for weeks now I heard her talk about what a wonderful invention this is . She kept telling me about all these guys who sent her messages . I was assuming she was replying to them , perhaps trying to get to know them better . Nope . She was merely reading their messages and profiles . The whole idea of actually getting into contact with these guys had not even crossed her mind . She seriously told me " Well , I guess I could reply to the ones I like . But what if they want to meet me or something ? " I tried to explain to her that that was the whole point of these online dating sites . She did not seem to get it . It does not stop her from talking about it though . Apparently , men from all over the world find her interesting and exciting ( My words not hers ) . She still has not responded to any of them though . I told her she should just give it a try and start dating some of these guys . She said she would if I would do the same . Find some women online to date , I mean . Great . On Friday ( sorry guys , real life is interfering with my blogging time these days ) it was announced that Katee Sackhoff is going to play a detective in Lost and Found , a new crime show from the producer of Law and Order . Katee is supposed to play the main character of the show , " an offbeat female LAPD detective who , after butting heads with the higher - ups , is sent as a punishment to the basement to work on John Does and Jane Doe cases " . That sounds like her character is going to be just a little insubordinate . I wonder why that sounds familiar . Now I heart Katee Sackhoff , so I would watch her in anything , but this sounds like it might actually be a good show . Unlike another TV series she was supposed to have a recurring role in . Are you excited ? I know I am ! When I was younger I wanted this song to play at my funeral . What can I say ? I don 't any longer , nor am I as preoccupied with death as I used to be . I still think it is a great song though . I love that more and more websites start to appear that provide us lesbians with some cool lesbian content . It used to be the case that besides a few informational sites , there really was not that much as far as entertainment goes . These days there is lots of fun stuff for us to choose from . Whether it is cool entertainment websites ( AfterEllen , EurOut ) , Webisodes ( 3Way , Girltrash ) , Podcasts ( My Lesbian Radio ) or fun blogs by lesbians ( Dorothy Surrenders , Final Girl , Comedy Double Standards ) . You are probably all familiar with most of the above sites , but have you already heard of Tellofilms ? I stumbled upon this site by accident . Ok not completely by accident … I was actually looking for fun stuff on YouTube when I came across an interview with a link to Tellofilms . Tellofilms is this cool website full of lesbian related videos . Like a queer You Tube if you like . Not only do they have a really nice collection of videos ( e . g . , Michelle Paradise 's Ten Rules short , Uh huh her videos ) , they also do interviews with anyone and everyone . That is really why I love this site . Not so much for who they interview ( so far this includes pretty much anyone who 's ever been on AfterEllen . In other words , all the queer ladies in LA ) , but how . These interviews are seriously funny . At least they cracked me up . Who needs the usual serious and boring interview questions when you call talk about random stuff instead ? Check it out Tellofilms , I can guarantee you are going to love it ! Ever wondered what I got up to twelve years ago ? Well , probably not , but I am going to tell you anyway . I used to love to spend my time going to music festivals . I was heavy into anything then termed " alternative " or indie if you will . These days we would just call it guitar rock I guess , but back in 1996 it was all kinda new . New and exciting . I thought it was just me being nostalgic , but then I decided to look up some of the line up of one of the Dutch festivals I visited that year : Pinkpop . Radiohead , Bush , K 's Choice , Alanis Morissette , Skunk Anansie , the Gathering , Rage Against the Machine , Therapy , Supergrass , Sepultura , and well , a few others . How awesome is that line up ? Very . Even awesomer is that I was there . As a very naive and probably very stoned 19 year old . Oh those were the days . I still love most of the performances I watched that summer 12 years ago . Curious what you missed ? Check out some of the actual performances right here : K 's Choice and Skin : Not an addictBush : BombThe Gathering - Strange machinesRadiohead : CreepAlanis Morissette : You oughta knowSkunk Anansie : WeakTherapy : A moment of Clarity I went to a book fair the other day which was awesome . I love books and I love reading , so any kind of book fair is such fun for me . However , the only thing I like more than a great hall full of cool books , is a great hall full of cool cheap books . Every year in the Netherlands we have this huge book fair during which they sell all the back stock of the year very cheaply . We are talking only an average of 2 euro for perfectly good books . I tried not to go overboard , but I still went home with about 25 books . Pocket books mainly , so - called suspense novels . In addition , I also picked up with really cool 6 book box set of James Herbert novels for hardly any money at all . Just thinking about it makes me happy . Over the years I have bought so many books I have lost track of what books I actually own . Therefore I have made this great Excel spreadsheet that catalogues every single book I own , along with a nice rating system . Yeah , I know , I am such a geek . I am hoping to one day have an entire wall in my living room that is covered in books . You know , like my own personal library . That would be awesome . I 'm getting there . Give me a few more years . Oh how I heart books ! Firefly is the brilliant TV show by Joss Whedon that never got the chance it deserved . It was cancelled after it aired for only 11 episodes in 2002 . They did shoot a total of 14 episodes that you should buy on DVD if you don 't own them already ! In case you 're not familiar with this series , let me briefly give you an idea what it 's about . It 's set in the future , in outer space . The show mixes science fiction with westerns , which sounds a lot stranger than it is . Like many of Whedon 's shows , the strength lies in the great characters and their bond with one another . There 's some great dialogue , cool stories and the show manages to be both serious and humorous . Unfortunately the entire story of this series never got told , even though a good effort was made in the 2005 movie Serenity . Only Joss Whedon makes a successful movie out of a cancelled TV series ( or a successful TV series out of a crap movie , like he did with Buffy ) . A little more about the back story of Firefly : The main character is Captain Malcolm Reynolds , a war veteran of the resistance against the Alliance , an organization that attempted to achieve the unification of all humankind under a single imperial government . The resistance lost the war , and therefore , a central core of planetary systems have fallen under Alliance control , while settlers and refugees in the farther reaches of space enjoy relative freedom , but lack many of the amenities of a high - tech civilization . Malcolm now owns a small Firefly - class star ship , after which the TV show was named , making cargo runs and performing various other tasks , both legal and illegal , in order to make a living for both for himself and his crew . The crew consists of Zoe , a wartime friend of Malcolm and second in command ; Wash , Zoe 's husband and pilot of the ship ; Inara , a companion ( which is basically a high - class hooker ) ; Kaylee , the ship 's mechanic and a really sweet girl ; Jayne , a rather straight - forward and not too intelligent thug ; Shepherd Book , a preacher who is not all what he seems to be ; Posted by Not a specific person or topic this time . Just thought I would share with you a few random pictures of women I think are hot . It is not so much about the women , even though they are of course all beautiful in their own way , but about the particular shots of them that I love . Interesting isn 't it , what 2 years of stealing JPEGs from AfterEllen and Dorothy Surrenders can gives you … quite the collection of hot women photos . Enjoy ! P . S . I had way too many pictures to select some for just one week . So check back next Saturday for more photos of hot women . Posted by Today on the train I was sitting opposite a woman who was breastfeeding her baby . I 'm not usually around babies let alone breastfeeding mothers , so I wasn 't quite sure how to act . I mean , of course it is a perfectly normal thing and the kid probably needed to eat , but still . It did not change the fact that a perfect stranger was sitting opposite me with her breasts exposed . What is proper breastfeeding etiquette these days ? Should women feel free to breast feed in public or should they try to be a little less obvious about it ? More importantly , how is the observer of this practice supposed to act ? I did not think it was necessary to look away , but somehow I don 't think I was supposed to ogle at her breasts . Right ? Good thing I had a book with me , so I did not have to worry about it . Not much , anyway . Am I a horrible person for noticing she had amazing breasts ? When I lived in Germany one of my favourite things to do was to make fun of the Germans . Obviously Germans did not always get it or like what we were doing , but my Dutch colleague and I sure had a lot of laughs at their expense . I want to share a few fun videos with you that illustrate just exactly why Germans deserve to be made fun of . P . S . I love Germans . Honest . The " classic " MTV Gunther commercial about German stereotypes : I especially love the David Hasselhoff poster . Why learning to speak proper English is important : Even the Simposons and Southpark chime in to make fun of stereotypes : When I was a teenager people always said I looked older than I was . When I was 12 or 13 they thought I was 15 or 16 . I guess I just hit puberty rather early , which set the whole looking older thing in motion . It did not last very long though . At some point I stopped looking older and maybe I even stopped aging altogether . Ok that is not exactly true , but I do know that from the moment my age went past 21 people started thinking I was younger . I have a sister who is three years younger than me and most people used to think she is the eldest . I always found that quite embarrassing , especially because people treat you differently when they think you are younger than you are . Hell , they even treat me differently depending on my hair colour . I 'm a blonde but I usually dye my hair brown and believe it or not whenever I am blonde people act differently around me . They think I am dumber and guys hit on me more . Weird . Anyways , these days I still look much younger than I am . I 'm 31 but most people think I am somewhere in my mid twenties . That serves me fine , especially if this keeps up and they will still think I 'm much younger when I 'm 40 or 50 . However , the other day I had my haircut slightly shorter than I usually have it and that was a really really bad idea . I think I look like I 'm 12 ! Ok no one would actually think that I am 12 , but I might pass for 21 or under 21 even . I hate it . I do not care about age or I like to think that I do not , but secretly I am an ageist at heart . I am kind of prejudiced against young people , in the sense that I do not threat college age people the same way as I do anyone older than that . Therefore the thought of anyone thinking I belong in that age range is simply horrible . Is there anything one can do against a baby face ? I know it helps to dress a certain way , everyone always thinks I 'm older whenever I wear a suit . I know this isn 't really all that important , but still it bothers me . I 've just started a new job and I do not want everyone to wonder what that kid is doing at thePosted by I just finished reading the Harlequin by Laurell K . Hamilton , book 14 of her amazing Anita Blake vampire hunter novels . These novels are not like your average vampire novels , but instead they are so much more . More of what ? Well , I could sum it up with more demons , violence and sex , but that would not do these books justice . Although it is true , that especially the books later in the series include a lot of demons , violence and sex . A lot of sex . The series are about Anita Blake , a vampire hunter and necromancer . The latter means she can raise the dead , which is very convenient for a lot of people . She actually works for a firm where people can hire her to raise the dead for them . For example , lawyers hire her when they need someone who is dead to testify or tell them how they died . In the world of Anita Blake this is all perfectly normal . So is the existence of vampires and shape shifters . In fact , in the world of these novels ( which is present day United States , only an alternate reality version of it ) vampires and shape shifters are treated as humans or at least have many rights to exist and live a normal life . The series starts out with Anita Blake as a righteous person who just wants that one special person to share her life with . Pretty soon she finds out that things aren 't as black and white and learns to redefine her morals . That is when the violence and sex parts come in . She starts dating the master vampire of the city , which of course is not the smartest thing to do if you are a vampire hunter , and through acts of metaphysics becomes his human servant . At the same time she is also dating another guy , who is a shape shifter werewolf . Through all kinds of weird and mainly meta physical circumstances , she ends up with about six boyfriends by the time we get to book 14 . When Anita is not having sex she is killing demons , vampires and other evil guys . Just writing all this down makes the books sound very very bad , but trust me they make for a great read . If you are into this sort of thing of course . They would pNatazzz The all new Beverly Hills 90210 remake is about to start airing and I have not made up my mind yet whether or not I am excited about this . Don 't get me wrong , I loved 90210 the first time around just like every other kid around the world . It was simply the first really well done show about teenage drama . Oh and what a drama they all experienced ! I used to have a bit of a crush on Dylan , although looking back on it now I think I really wanted to be him . He simply was the coolest guy I had ever seen . Even cooler than Andrew McCarthy . The girl I loved the most was Emily Valentine , who was only on the show for a couple of episodes as Brandon 's crazy girlfriend . But damn she was hot … or I should say cool , which is what I thought at the time . The other woman I really liked on 90210 was Brenda , played by Shannon Doherty . Apparently , she is coming back for the remake . I guess she must be playing someone 's mom now then . Weird . Other people that are making an appearance in the remake include Jenny Garth , who I always really hated as Kelly . But not as much as I hated Donna . Yes I know it is not a popular thing to say , but I could not stand the girl . I hated both the way she looked ( I 'm sorry but she looks like a cow . There , I said it . ) and her dumb naive " I 'm saving myself for marriage " attitude . Who does that ? I remember when David could not wait any longer and had sex with … what 's her name ? I do not remember , just that she was hot and I felt Donna deserved it . I was such a horrible teenager . Didn 't David try to have some sort of rapping career ? Too funny . Oh the one other person I could not stand on the show was Steve . He was such a dumb guy and I hated his curly hair . I hope he is not coming back . Who I do want to come back is Andrea and all of the original cast really . Of course that will not happen . That makes me wonder why I should watch a show that has the same name and same premise as the original show , but has nothing to do with it . At least most of the people playing in it will be different . Maybe I am jPosted by
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We lived in our 300 - year - old house in Massachusetts for fifteen years . The town was growing too quickly and the atmosphere was changing . I was tired of having to drive everywhere and felt isolated . I was craving city life again , but we chose to move to Philadelphia rather than back to Boston . I felt that I was missing too many family events , big and little , because family was four to eight hours away by car . So we moved . These are the gardens I left behind . I miss them now . I was so spoiled . Now , I have a few potted plants on a tiny patio , no room to experiment or for the big clumps of flowers I like . We 've been in the city for almost ten years and I 'm craving the country . This has been our pattern : ten years in the city , ten in the country . But if I mention moving , Jack cringes and edges away . By the way , if anyone recognizes the plant / flower in the first photograph , please let me know . I was very good about labeling and taking notes , but I just can 't place this one . It 's one of my favorite blues . Anchusa ? Salvia ? Elsie Knocker and Mairi Chisholm were two British women who signed up to help in the war effort . Elsie was about thirty and Mairi was eighteen when the war began . They met at a motorcycle club , both being good motorcyclists and mechanics . Elsie was interested in flying , too , and went up with a noted flier . Elsie had been married to a horrid man but had divorced him . This was not commonly done by women in those days . Mairi was from a proud Scottish family living in England . They were brave and adventurous women . In the fall of 1914 , they joined Munro 's Flying Ambulance Corps and found themselves on the Belgian front line , often within a few hundred yards of the front . They would treat the wounded , sometimes retrieving wounded soldiers from the front line , and run them off to a treatment facility in the ambulance . They were shot at , they were bombed , they were gassed . But they refused to stop . They were eventually the only two women allowed to remain in danger at the Belgian front line . This was mostly because Elsie was very good at refusing to do anything she didn 't want to do . And because the soldiers needed them . After hassles with red tape and politics , they set up their own independent treatment post . Elsie had seen many men die of shock on their way to hospitals . She felt strongly that they would have a better chance if they weren 't moved far immediately . They needed to be stabilized and given a chance to get warm and rest before enduring a longer trip for further treatment . Elsie and Mairi saw and treated the most frightful wounds , as well as more common complaints like colds , constipation , and boils . They sat by young men and watched them die . They were often wet and covered with dirt and blood and gore . In addition to medical attention , they provided hot soup and cocoa , tobacco , and amusements such as cards and sing songs . They strove to lift moral , provide comfort , and give the men ( mostly boys ) a break from the stress of war . The women lived in brutal conditions , happy if they could have a bath every three weeks and wearing the same clothes until they had to be cut off their bodies . Food was meagre and water was contaminated by rotting bodies on the high water table . Fresh water had to be brought from England in barrels . Elsie and Mairi had to be available 24 - hours , although they occasionally got breaks to go to the nearest towns . These were very different conditions from those they 'd been brought up in , but they adapted and thrived . They sometimes needed to return to England to raise funds to keep the post going . They begged from friends and they gave talks to growing crowds , who were fascinated by these two women and what they were doing . They were well - known and in the public eye . People were eager to help , eager just to see them . Elsie fell in love with and married a dashing Belgian count . Their marriage deteriorated almost from the start . Elsie had a difficult time after the war . The First World War was her time of glory . She could never reach those heights again and was bitter about that . Mairi never married and didn 't talk about her war experiences unless asked . She spent the rest of her life looking forward , not backward , raising poultry with a group of women friends in Jersey and England . Oddly , after the war , Elsie and Mairi did not stay in touch . They never saw each other again . I read this on my Kindle and can 't figure out how to copy and paste an image of the cover from another source . Sometimes I can do this , sometimes I can 't . This time , I can 't . There are a couple of great covers , if you want to look for them . I like the one with the ship on it . And the first edition cover . I was feeling nostalgic for an Agatha Christie . I don 't know why I picked this one , but it was a disappointment . It 's been quite a while since I 've read a Christie . Miss Marple is my favorite . Poirot has always left me cold . To me , he 's sort of like the character in the TV series Monk - brilliant , but his constrained oddness annoys me . I 'm fond of flamboyant freaks . The Man in the Brown Suit has neither Marple nor Poirot . It 's listed on Fantastic Fiction as being one of Christie 's Colonel Race mysteries , of which they list only three . He doesn 't dominate the book , in fact , I 'd even relegate him to a minor character . Anne Beddingfeld is orphaned early in the book . Her father was a leading authority on primitive man . He left her a small inheritance , which Anne blows on a trip to South Africa in search of the killer of a mysterious woman . She wants excitement and adventure - and she finds it . Anne gets involved when she sees a man killed as he steps backward onto a train track third rail , frightened by the sight of another man . She finds a piece of paper dropped by the ' doctor ' who examines the dead man at the train station , a man posing as a doctor in order to go through the dead man 's pockets . The dead man also has in his pocket a house agent 's letter to view a house . The police don 't think there 's anything to investigate . But the next day , Anne sees in the newspaper that a woman has been found murdered in the same house that the dead man had an appointment to see . She starts to investigate and finds herself off on a transcontinental adventure - just what she 'd been hoping for . The mysterious message leads her to a ship sailing from London to South Africa . On board the ship to South Africa , she meets and befriends a wealthy woman , a wealthy man , and some interesting characters . She also discovers that the mystery and the murders are about stolen diamonds , the men who were implicated in the theft , and a ring of spies run by The Colonel ' . She and the wealthy woman , Suzanne Blair , become chummy . She 's not sure what to make of the rather goofy and vague Sir Eustace Pedler , or Colonel Race , who may or may not be Secret Service . One of Sir Eustace 's secretaries turns out to be Harry Rayburn , one of the men incriminated in the diamond theft . And Anne falls in love with the mysterious Rayburn . Twice Anne is summoned to meetings that turn out to be traps . How bright is this woman ? ! She 's kidnapped , she falls over a waterfall on her way to one of the mysterious meetings and is presumed dead . Her goal is to find out who The Colonel is and to clear Harry Rayburn . I couldn 't get into this book . The romance portions were so sophomoric and / or dated that I couldn 't read them without rolling my eyes . Anne was annoyed me , too , not one of my favorite Christie characters . Be forewarned , almost no one is who they purport to be and several turn out to have more than one persona . This is one of Christie 's earliest books , so I guess she hadn 't yet hit her stride . My friend Edgar told me about Red Earth and Pouring Rain . I respect and appreciate his opinions . I 'm glad I followed his recommendation . This is a large book ( 542 pages ) that is layered and convoluted and rich . I made the mistake of starting it around the holidays . I kept picking it up when I had a few minutes and putting it aside , until I finally had time to give it my full attention . I think it would be best read straight through instead of in pieces . It 's stories within stories within stories . I admit that by the time I got to the end , I wasn 't sure who had told which story . But it 's a terrific book . Just make sure you have enough time to devote to it . I think the book is about the power of storytelling . Like Sanjay and Scheherazade , stories keep us alive , whether we 're telling them or listening to them . We readers experience storytelling through books . But there 's a special power to oral storytelling . Jay O ' Callahan , a friend of mine , is a professional storyteller . Sitting in his office listening to him rehearse his stories , we were transported , transfixed by his voice and his stories . It 's magic . The story starts with a young Indian man , Abhay , returning to his parents ' house in India . He has been at college in California . We later learn that he 's brought his girlfriend with him , but before they get to his home , India defeats her and she returns to the United States . So Abhay gets home in a bad mood . A monkey that his parents have been feeding for years and years appears and steals Abhay 's jeans off the clothesline . He 's had enough and he shoots the monkey . His parents are horrified and he 's sorry , too . They nurse the monkey back to health - and the monkey starts typing on the father 's typewriter . The monkey is Sanjay , a poet who has been reincarnated . Hindu gods appear : Yama , Hanuman , and Ganesha . Yama , the god of death , agrees to allow Sanjay to live on as a monkey as long as he and Abhay 's family give them two hours of stories a day . As Sanjay types , one of the family reads what he 's written . People from the village , and then from farther away , start coming to hear the stories . Soon , huge groups crowd the square to listen . Sanjay and his brothers , by different mothers , were conceived in an inconceivable fashion : their mothers were impregnated by eating sweets specially made for one of the women who wanted sons instead of daughters . One son , Sikander , grows up to be a great warrior . One , Chotta , follows his brother Sikander . And Sanjay aspires to be a great poet . This is mostly Sanjay 's story , and that of his brothers . But when Sanjay is tired , Abhay tells several stories of his life in California . It 's also the story of India , her subjugation by the British and her freedom . The story takes place mostly in India , but Sanjay travels to England for revenge and to stop a Jack - the - Ripper style killer . I love to bake . Unfortunately , I love to eat what I bake , so I don 't bake that often . My mother was a terrific baker . She understood how comforting food could be . If someone had a birthday or was recovering from an illness , she 'd bake them their favorite pie or cake or cookies . She spoiled me for delicious home - baked goodies . I don 't remember where I found this recipe . I thought the copy was large enough to read , but it looks sort of small here . If you can 't read it , let me know and I 'll send you a larger copy via e - mail . You can use the recipe as written , but I 'm a vegan , so I use non - dairy coconut creamer and Earth Balance instead of butter . Earth Balance even comes in sticks , which are easier for baking . Both are delicious substitutes for cream and butter . I defy anyone to taste the difference . I 've been reading this series for several years now . I started reading it because it takes place in Paris , the main characters are Aimee Leduc and Rene Friant , a dwarf , and because the scattered French words give me a chance to pretend I 'm still fairly fluent in French . I spent a week in Paris many years ago and I remember enough about it to occasionally picture where the action takes place . From book to book , the crimes move from one arrondissement to another . There 's always a map in the front . Aimee and Rene run a computer security business together , but Aimee is always finding her way into real life crime . Rene often bails her out , often with the help of Saj , another computer expert . I like both Rene and Saj better than I like Aimee . In this episode , Aimee is pregnant . The father is her on - again - off - again boyfriend whose priorities are his ex - wife and daughter . The daughter is in a coma and the ex - wife is needy . Aimee hasn 't told him that she 's pregnant . She knows that she needs more than he will give her . In the midst of all this ( and a broiling hot summer , too ) , Zazie , her friend 's daughter and Aimee 's protege , disappears . ( Please note that she didn 't ' go missing ' in this review . We used to say ' disappear ' , which is a perfectly good word , but it seems to have ' gone missing ' from our vocabulary . ) Because there have been several rapes of young girls in the area , Aimee is concerned that Zazie is a victim of the rapist . Zazie doesn 't fit the profile of 12 years old , blonde , and violin - playing , but Aimee is convinced Zazie has been taken by the rapist . And she 's wrong . I like the details of everyday life in Paris . I wish there were bakeries on every corner in my city . I love good fresh bread . But I 'm glad I don 't live in a gorgeous freezing - in - the - winter and melting - in - the - summer apartment where the elevator is often broken . Aimee gets a little tiresome sometimes . Her Chanel red lipstick , her designer clothes , even if they 're from thrift stores , her constantly feeding her little dog horse meat from the butcher . She 's always scaling buildings or jumping from roofs . She puts herself and others in danger because she 's impulsive and jumps to conclusions . I 'll give her one more book and then I think I 've had enough . Then again , I wonder how she 's going to fit a baby into her life . This was a hot book at my library . The hold list was longer than for most books I request . I don 't remember where I read about it , but it was touted as a no holds barred collection of essays . I 'm not sure it lived up to being outrageous . I agreed with a lot of what Daum had to say , but maybe that 's the point : she admits to feelings that many of us have and are afraid to voice . Grieving is one of those feelings . In the first essay , the author writes about her relationship with her mother and her mother 's death . Many people feel that grieving should take certain forms and adhere to an accepted time table . Oddly , I 'm taking an on - line free course on Hamlet , and part of that discussion is about whether or not Hamlet was crazy , suffering from melancholy , or if he just grieved longer and louder than was the norm in those days . He was expected to buck up and get on with it , but he didn 't . Her essay about dogs was wonderful . We were definitely on the same page with that one . I start to cry every time I read The Rainbow Bridge or hear it referenced . If you 've ever lost a beloved pet , you probably know it . I think one of the reasons I suffer from sustained depression / melancholy is that in the past eight years , I 've held six beloved pets in my arms as I allowed them to leave me and their pain and suffering . I couldn 't relate to her essay about being an honorary , if inactive , member of the LGBT community . Totally lost me there . I have no problem with people of any sexual inclination ( as long as they don 't involve unwilling participants , human or animal ) , but I also have no desire to be part of any of those communities . I don 't want to be part of almost any communities , even those to which I 'm legitimately entitled , and I don 't like groups . But hers is an interesting viewpoint . We also agree about children , although I never even considered having one . I think children should be wanted with all one 's heart , not just conceived because ' it 's time ' or one 's worried that one will regret not having one , or , horrors of horrors , that a child will save a marriage . I like kids if they are smart , communicative , imaginative , and don 't jump on the furniture or color on the walls . They had better not be mean to animals . I cut animals more slack than I do children . Animals are allowed to bite or scratch children , but not vice versa . There 's an essay on Joni Mitchell , one of the author 's idols , and the dinner that the author had with her . Not What It Used to Be is about how things have changed over the years . The author 's almost twenty years younger than I am , so I 've got more stories than she does . The Best Possible Experience is about the pressure to marry , to ' settle ' , and to hold out for the right one . It 's also a defense of unmarried people . Even though Daum did marry in her mid - thirties , marriage wasn 't anywhere near the top of her ' to do ' list . Daum hates to cook and views food as something to get done . She has no aptitude for cooking , usually screws up recipes by not using the correct pans or reading the recipe through before starting . She 's perfectly happy with almost anything that someone else cooks . Her husband seems to be the one who keeps them alive . Invisible City is about life in Los Angeles , where the author lives . She rubs elbows with celebrities and has some funny stories about those encounters . And some sad stories about them and the world they live in . They are not like us . I skipped the last essay , which was about her near death experience with a sudden and badly behaved bacterial infection . Since my husband spent several days in the hospital last fall with sepsis , this one was a little too soon and too close to home . I had no desire to relive days in the hospital spent waiting and hoping and trying to stay strong . I don 't watch shows about or read books about hospitals or doctors or anything involving sickness . It 's too much like real life . I think I 've given you an idea of the content . It 's varied and most of it 's interesting . Daum writes well and writes honestly . The Unspeakable was a pleasure to read . I finally finished a book ! I finished four in January , a paltry amount for me . I 've been struggling with a post holiday / mid winter slump . I think things are looking up . The amaryllis my cousin gave me for Christmas , eight orange - red blooms , is lifting my heart . Sometimes it 's the little things : Has given my heart A change of mood And saved some part Of a day I had rued . As Chimney Sweepers Come to Dust has also helped me climb out of the abyss . It 's not a short book , almost 400 pages , but it 's a fast read . Some reviewers haven 't liked this Flavia de Luce book because it takes place at a boarding school in Canada and not in Flavia 's crumbling home in England . That didn 't bother me at all . I 'm more interested in Flavia than I am in her home or her family . I did miss Dogger , though . Flavia has been shipped off to the boarding school her mother went to . It 's also a training ground for members of the ultra secret and ( to me at least ) mysterious organization headed by her Aunt Felicity . It 's so secret that no one knows who 's in it and I 'm not clear on what their mission is . Maybe I missed something in a previous book . That doesn 't detract from the murder that Flavia finds herself solving . Her first night at the school , she 's attacked in her room by a fellow student - and a body falls down the chimney . It ain 't Santa Claus . It 's been up the chimney for a while . The head that rolls off the body is a mummy 's head , but the body is thousands of years younger . Flavia must find out whose body it is , how it got there , why the person was killed , and who the killer is . Just when she thinks she knows all , she realizes she doesn 't . I enjoyed As Chimney Sweepers Come to Dust and will look forward to the next Flavia book . I was born in Pennsylvania but spent most of my life living in and around Boston . I miss New England , but want to be closer to my family . I meant to be a writer but was lured away by the scent of money in the world of business and investments . I used to read everything , including toothpaste tubes , cereal boxes , and classics . I spend a lot of time and money trying to save animals , both domestic and wild , or to , at least , improve their lives . Humans are so prevailingly , if often unconsciously , cruel to other species . The photo is of me and Lawrence , our second adopted bovine at Farm Sanctuary in Watkins Glen , NY . RIP , Rhonda .
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We lived in our 300 - year - old house in Massachusetts for fifteen years . The town was growing too quickly and the atmosphere was changing . I was tired of having to drive everywhere and felt isolated . I was craving city life again , but we chose to move to Philadelphia rather than back to Boston . I felt that I was missing too many family events , big and little , because family was four to eight hours away by car . So we moved . These are the gardens I left behind . I miss them now . I was so spoiled . Now , I have a few potted plants on a tiny patio , no room to experiment or for the big clumps of flowers I like . We 've been in the city for almost ten years and I 'm craving the country . This has been our pattern : ten years in the city , ten in the country . But if I mention moving , Jack cringes and edges away . By the way , if anyone recognizes the plant / flower in the first photograph , please let me know . I was very good about labeling and taking notes , but I just can 't place this one . It 's one of my favorite blues . Anchusa ? Salvia ? Elsie Knocker and Mairi Chisholm were two British women who signed up to help in the war effort . Elsie was about thirty and Mairi was eighteen when the war began . They met at a motorcycle club , both being good motorcyclists and mechanics . Elsie was interested in flying , too , and went up with a noted flier . Elsie had been married to a horrid man but had divorced him . This was not commonly done by women in those days . Mairi was from a proud Scottish family living in England . They were brave and adventurous women . In the fall of 1914 , they joined Munro 's Flying Ambulance Corps and found themselves on the Belgian front line , often within a few hundred yards of the front . They would treat the wounded , sometimes retrieving wounded soldiers from the front line , and run them off to a treatment facility in the ambulance . They were shot at , they were bombed , they were gassed . But they refused to stop . They were eventually the only two women allowed to remain in danger at the Belgian front line . This was mostly because Elsie was very good at refusing to do anything she didn 't want to do . And because the soldiers needed them . After hassles with red tape and politics , they set up their own independent treatment post . Elsie had seen many men die of shock on their way to hospitals . She felt strongly that they would have a better chance if they weren 't moved far immediately . They needed to be stabilized and given a chance to get warm and rest before enduring a longer trip for further treatment . Elsie and Mairi saw and treated the most frightful wounds , as well as more common complaints like colds , constipation , and boils . They sat by young men and watched them die . They were often wet and covered with dirt and blood and gore . In addition to medical attention , they provided hot soup and cocoa , tobacco , and amusements such as cards and sing songs . They strove to lift moral , provide comfort , and give the men ( mostly boys ) a break from the stress of war . The women lived in brutal conditions , happy if they could have a bath every three weeks and wearing the same clothes until they had to be cut off their bodies . Food was meagre and water was contaminated by rotting bodies on the high water table . Fresh water had to be brought from England in barrels . Elsie and Mairi had to be available 24 - hours , although they occasionally got breaks to go to the nearest towns . These were very different conditions from those they 'd been brought up in , but they adapted and thrived . They sometimes needed to return to England to raise funds to keep the post going . They begged from friends and they gave talks to growing crowds , who were fascinated by these two women and what they were doing . They were well - known and in the public eye . People were eager to help , eager just to see them . Elsie fell in love with and married a dashing Belgian count . Their marriage deteriorated almost from the start . Elsie had a difficult time after the war . The First World War was her time of glory . She could never reach those heights again and was bitter about that . Mairi never married and didn 't talk about her war experiences unless asked . She spent the rest of her life looking forward , not backward , raising poultry with a group of women friends in Jersey and England . Oddly , after the war , Elsie and Mairi did not stay in touch . They never saw each other again . I read this on my Kindle and can 't figure out how to copy and paste an image of the cover from another source . Sometimes I can do this , sometimes I can 't . This time , I can 't . There are a couple of great covers , if you want to look for them . I like the one with the ship on it . And the first edition cover . I was feeling nostalgic for an Agatha Christie . I don 't know why I picked this one , but it was a disappointment . It 's been quite a while since I 've read a Christie . Miss Marple is my favorite . Poirot has always left me cold . To me , he 's sort of like the character in the TV series Monk - brilliant , but his constrained oddness annoys me . I 'm fond of flamboyant freaks . The Man in the Brown Suit has neither Marple nor Poirot . It 's listed on Fantastic Fiction as being one of Christie 's Colonel Race mysteries , of which they list only three . He doesn 't dominate the book , in fact , I 'd even relegate him to a minor character . Anne Beddingfeld is orphaned early in the book . Her father was a leading authority on primitive man . He left her a small inheritance , which Anne blows on a trip to South Africa in search of the killer of a mysterious woman . She wants excitement and adventure - and she finds it . Anne gets involved when she sees a man killed as he steps backward onto a train track third rail , frightened by the sight of another man . She finds a piece of paper dropped by the ' doctor ' who examines the dead man at the train station , a man posing as a doctor in order to go through the dead man 's pockets . The dead man also has in his pocket a house agent 's letter to view a house . The police don 't think there 's anything to investigate . But the next day , Anne sees in the newspaper that a woman has been found murdered in the same house that the dead man had an appointment to see . She starts to investigate and finds herself off on a transcontinental adventure - just what she 'd been hoping for . The mysterious message leads her to a ship sailing from London to South Africa . On board the ship to South Africa , she meets and befriends a wealthy woman , a wealthy man , and some interesting characters . She also discovers that the mystery and the murders are about stolen diamonds , the men who were implicated in the theft , and a ring of spies run by The Colonel ' . She and the wealthy woman , Suzanne Blair , become chummy . She 's not sure what to make of the rather goofy and vague Sir Eustace Pedler , or Colonel Race , who may or may not be Secret Service . One of Sir Eustace 's secretaries turns out to be Harry Rayburn , one of the men incriminated in the diamond theft . And Anne falls in love with the mysterious Rayburn . Twice Anne is summoned to meetings that turn out to be traps . How bright is this woman ? ! She 's kidnapped , she falls over a waterfall on her way to one of the mysterious meetings and is presumed dead . Her goal is to find out who The Colonel is and to clear Harry Rayburn . I couldn 't get into this book . The romance portions were so sophomoric and / or dated that I couldn 't read them without rolling my eyes . Anne was annoyed me , too , not one of my favorite Christie characters . Be forewarned , almost no one is who they purport to be and several turn out to have more than one persona . This is one of Christie 's earliest books , so I guess she hadn 't yet hit her stride . My friend Edgar told me about Red Earth and Pouring Rain . I respect and appreciate his opinions . I 'm glad I followed his recommendation . This is a large book ( 542 pages ) that is layered and convoluted and rich . I made the mistake of starting it around the holidays . I kept picking it up when I had a few minutes and putting it aside , until I finally had time to give it my full attention . I think it would be best read straight through instead of in pieces . It 's stories within stories within stories . I admit that by the time I got to the end , I wasn 't sure who had told which story . But it 's a terrific book . Just make sure you have enough time to devote to it . I think the book is about the power of storytelling . Like Sanjay and Scheherazade , stories keep us alive , whether we 're telling them or listening to them . We readers experience storytelling through books . But there 's a special power to oral storytelling . Jay O ' Callahan , a friend of mine , is a professional storyteller . Sitting in his office listening to him rehearse his stories , we were transported , transfixed by his voice and his stories . It 's magic . The story starts with a young Indian man , Abhay , returning to his parents ' house in India . He has been at college in California . We later learn that he 's brought his girlfriend with him , but before they get to his home , India defeats her and she returns to the United States . So Abhay gets home in a bad mood . A monkey that his parents have been feeding for years and years appears and steals Abhay 's jeans off the clothesline . He 's had enough and he shoots the monkey . His parents are horrified and he 's sorry , too . They nurse the monkey back to health - and the monkey starts typing on the father 's typewriter . The monkey is Sanjay , a poet who has been reincarnated . Hindu gods appear : Yama , Hanuman , and Ganesha . Yama , the god of death , agrees to allow Sanjay to live on as a monkey as long as he and Abhay 's family give them two hours of stories a day . As Sanjay types , one of the family reads what he 's written . People from the village , and then from farther away , start coming to hear the stories . Soon , huge groups crowd the square to listen . Sanjay and his brothers , by different mothers , were conceived in an inconceivable fashion : their mothers were impregnated by eating sweets specially made for one of the women who wanted sons instead of daughters . One son , Sikander , grows up to be a great warrior . One , Chotta , follows his brother Sikander . And Sanjay aspires to be a great poet . This is mostly Sanjay 's story , and that of his brothers . But when Sanjay is tired , Abhay tells several stories of his life in California . It 's also the story of India , her subjugation by the British and her freedom . The story takes place mostly in India , but Sanjay travels to England for revenge and to stop a Jack - the - Ripper style killer . I love to bake . Unfortunately , I love to eat what I bake , so I don 't bake that often . My mother was a terrific baker . She understood how comforting food could be . If someone had a birthday or was recovering from an illness , she 'd bake them their favorite pie or cake or cookies . She spoiled me for delicious home - baked goodies . I don 't remember where I found this recipe . I thought the copy was large enough to read , but it looks sort of small here . If you can 't read it , let me know and I 'll send you a larger copy via e - mail . You can use the recipe as written , but I 'm a vegan , so I use non - dairy coconut creamer and Earth Balance instead of butter . Earth Balance even comes in sticks , which are easier for baking . Both are delicious substitutes for cream and butter . I defy anyone to taste the difference . I 've been reading this series for several years now . I started reading it because it takes place in Paris , the main characters are Aimee Leduc and Rene Friant , a dwarf , and because the scattered French words give me a chance to pretend I 'm still fairly fluent in French . I spent a week in Paris many years ago and I remember enough about it to occasionally picture where the action takes place . From book to book , the crimes move from one arrondissement to another . There 's always a map in the front . Aimee and Rene run a computer security business together , but Aimee is always finding her way into real life crime . Rene often bails her out , often with the help of Saj , another computer expert . I like both Rene and Saj better than I like Aimee . In this episode , Aimee is pregnant . The father is her on - again - off - again boyfriend whose priorities are his ex - wife and daughter . The daughter is in a coma and the ex - wife is needy . Aimee hasn 't told him that she 's pregnant . She knows that she needs more than he will give her . In the midst of all this ( and a broiling hot summer , too ) , Zazie , her friend 's daughter and Aimee 's protege , disappears . ( Please note that she didn 't ' go missing ' in this review . We used to say ' disappear ' , which is a perfectly good word , but it seems to have ' gone missing ' from our vocabulary . ) Because there have been several rapes of young girls in the area , Aimee is concerned that Zazie is a victim of the rapist . Zazie doesn 't fit the profile of 12 years old , blonde , and violin - playing , but Aimee is convinced Zazie has been taken by the rapist . And she 's wrong . I like the details of everyday life in Paris . I wish there were bakeries on every corner in my city . I love good fresh bread . But I 'm glad I don 't live in a gorgeous freezing - in - the - winter and melting - in - the - summer apartment where the elevator is often broken . Aimee gets a little tiresome sometimes . Her Chanel red lipstick , her designer clothes , even if they 're from thrift stores , her constantly feeding her little dog horse meat from the butcher . She 's always scaling buildings or jumping from roofs . She puts herself and others in danger because she 's impulsive and jumps to conclusions . I 'll give her one more book and then I think I 've had enough . Then again , I wonder how she 's going to fit a baby into her life . This was a hot book at my library . The hold list was longer than for most books I request . I don 't remember where I read about it , but it was touted as a no holds barred collection of essays . I 'm not sure it lived up to being outrageous . I agreed with a lot of what Daum had to say , but maybe that 's the point : she admits to feelings that many of us have and are afraid to voice . Grieving is one of those feelings . In the first essay , the author writes about her relationship with her mother and her mother 's death . Many people feel that grieving should take certain forms and adhere to an accepted time table . Oddly , I 'm taking an on - line free course on Hamlet , and part of that discussion is about whether or not Hamlet was crazy , suffering from melancholy , or if he just grieved longer and louder than was the norm in those days . He was expected to buck up and get on with it , but he didn 't . Her essay about dogs was wonderful . We were definitely on the same page with that one . I start to cry every time I read The Rainbow Bridge or hear it referenced . If you 've ever lost a beloved pet , you probably know it . I think one of the reasons I suffer from sustained depression / melancholy is that in the past eight years , I 've held six beloved pets in my arms as I allowed them to leave me and their pain and suffering . I couldn 't relate to her essay about being an honorary , if inactive , member of the LGBT community . Totally lost me there . I have no problem with people of any sexual inclination ( as long as they don 't involve unwilling participants , human or animal ) , but I also have no desire to be part of any of those communities . I don 't want to be part of almost any communities , even those to which I 'm legitimately entitled , and I don 't like groups . But hers is an interesting viewpoint . We also agree about children , although I never even considered having one . I think children should be wanted with all one 's heart , not just conceived because ' it 's time ' or one 's worried that one will regret not having one , or , horrors of horrors , that a child will save a marriage . I like kids if they are smart , communicative , imaginative , and don 't jump on the furniture or color on the walls . They had better not be mean to animals . I cut animals more slack than I do children . Animals are allowed to bite or scratch children , but not vice versa . There 's an essay on Joni Mitchell , one of the author 's idols , and the dinner that the author had with her . Not What It Used to Be is about how things have changed over the years . The author 's almost twenty years younger than I am , so I 've got more stories than she does . The Best Possible Experience is about the pressure to marry , to ' settle ' , and to hold out for the right one . It 's also a defense of unmarried people . Even though Daum did marry in her mid - thirties , marriage wasn 't anywhere near the top of her ' to do ' list . Daum hates to cook and views food as something to get done . She has no aptitude for cooking , usually screws up recipes by not using the correct pans or reading the recipe through before starting . She 's perfectly happy with almost anything that someone else cooks . Her husband seems to be the one who keeps them alive . Invisible City is about life in Los Angeles , where the author lives . She rubs elbows with celebrities and has some funny stories about those encounters . And some sad stories about them and the world they live in . They are not like us . I skipped the last essay , which was about her near death experience with a sudden and badly behaved bacterial infection . Since my husband spent several days in the hospital last fall with sepsis , this one was a little too soon and too close to home . I had no desire to relive days in the hospital spent waiting and hoping and trying to stay strong . I don 't watch shows about or read books about hospitals or doctors or anything involving sickness . It 's too much like real life . I think I 've given you an idea of the content . It 's varied and most of it 's interesting . Daum writes well and writes honestly . The Unspeakable was a pleasure to read . I finally finished a book ! I finished four in January , a paltry amount for me . I 've been struggling with a post holiday / mid winter slump . I think things are looking up . The amaryllis my cousin gave me for Christmas , eight orange - red blooms , is lifting my heart . Sometimes it 's the little things : Has given my heart A change of mood And saved some part Of a day I had rued . As Chimney Sweepers Come to Dust has also helped me climb out of the abyss . It 's not a short book , almost 400 pages , but it 's a fast read . Some reviewers haven 't liked this Flavia de Luce book because it takes place at a boarding school in Canada and not in Flavia 's crumbling home in England . That didn 't bother me at all . I 'm more interested in Flavia than I am in her home or her family . I did miss Dogger , though . Flavia has been shipped off to the boarding school her mother went to . It 's also a training ground for members of the ultra secret and ( to me at least ) mysterious organization headed by her Aunt Felicity . It 's so secret that no one knows who 's in it and I 'm not clear on what their mission is . Maybe I missed something in a previous book . That doesn 't detract from the murder that Flavia finds herself solving . Her first night at the school , she 's attacked in her room by a fellow student - and a body falls down the chimney . It ain 't Santa Claus . It 's been up the chimney for a while . The head that rolls off the body is a mummy 's head , but the body is thousands of years younger . Flavia must find out whose body it is , how it got there , why the person was killed , and who the killer is . Just when she thinks she knows all , she realizes she doesn 't . I enjoyed As Chimney Sweepers Come to Dust and will look forward to the next Flavia book . I was born in Pennsylvania but spent most of my life living in and around Boston . I miss New England , but want to be closer to my family . I meant to be a writer but was lured away by the scent of money in the world of business and investments . I used to read everything , including toothpaste tubes , cereal boxes , and classics . I spend a lot of time and money trying to save animals , both domestic and wild , or to , at least , improve their lives . Humans are so prevailingly , if often unconsciously , cruel to other species . The photo is of me and Lawrence , our second adopted bovine at Farm Sanctuary in Watkins Glen , NY . RIP , Rhonda .
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Note : Most recent reports are featured at the top of the page , working back to earliest reports . Also , there are some comments that follow these e - mail reports . To make a comment , scroll to the bottom of this page and fill in your name , then write your comment . no need to add your e - mail address or URL . On December 29th I received an e - mail from Laura McNeil Burns . Here is an excerpt from that message that relates to Hurricane Ike : " . . . Still lots of need in Galveston , though the rest of the country has more or less forgotten us ( same is still true in New Orleans , for that matter ) . We have rebuilt pretty much , in that the contractors are now finished with the house . It is now up to us to put finishing touches on what they did and to improvise around or replace what is lost . Also waiting for the final check so we can get out from under what we had to pay out to fix it . Insurance and mortgage companies certainly want prompt payment , but it does not seem to work both ways . Our 95 - year - old floors in the front of the house survived with just revarnishing . The vinyl floors in the new part ( from the 1920s ) in back have now been replaced with wood or with porcelain tile , so should last during another flood , should we be so unlucky . . . " On December 31st , 2008 Herbert John wrote this comment on the blog : Well all of us on the coast are back in the repair mode . Hurricane Ike did a number on the coast that no one can even imagine . Pictures do not show the damage . Not even close . 100 's of house and belongings are gone - I MEAN GONE - DISAPPEARED FOREVER - GONE . Imagine going to work or to the store and coming home and you cannot even find your lot because everything is gone ( trees , signs , houses , cars , light poles , everything ) . Nothing but a flat barren land as far as you can see . Nothing but dead cows and deserted auto / trucks . Everything that you worked all your life for is completely gone with no trace of it . No lumber , nothing ! All of your keepsakes , pictures ( ALL ) GONE . No baby pictures or family pictures . It is BAD , FOLKS . On 9 / 15 , Herbert Johns wrote : " My daughter had her baby ( boy 8 lb 5 and 20 1 / 2 inches ) on the 9th . She got out of the hospital Thursday 12 : 30 and we left … " since then we have heard several reports from Herbert of the devastation he found in the Winnie area upon his return after the Hurricane . However , Herb had not mentioned the mother and baby again and I pestered him for an update . Today , October 7th ( almost a month after the birth ) He reported , " Karla , Mother and baby made the trip just great and are continuing to progress absolutely fabulous . " Herb also gave this update on the status of his area , " Not a lot of damage to my house or barn . No water in the house ( Thank God ) and about 6 to 8 inches in the garage and barn . 13 trees ( some 40 to 50 years old ) so a lot of cutting and hauling and burning . It is all repairable and correctable . I have spent some time helping others that weren 't as fortunate as me . If you can imagine there are houses that are totally missing ( no lumber , furniture , nothing - just EVERYTHING gone ) . This in some cases includes the slab that the house was constructed upon ( GONE ) completely non - existent . NOTHING anywhere to be found . Two barges floated 11 miles and were resting on Highway 73 . They had to be cut up to remove after they were able to find out what was in them and the contents were unloaded in the middle of the highway . Needless to say the main highway to Port Arthur had been closed ( 4 lane divided highway ) , but opened Wednesday last week . The smell is getting better , but rain brings it back fresh and we expect rain again tomorrow . Got to get in bed so I can get an early start tomorrow . Herb " Laura McNeil Burns was the first to write to me to tell that she was evacuating Galveston , on 9 / 11 ( see bottom of this post ) . She checked in again briefly a week or so ago . But now she has given a full report on 9 / 28 . Very descriptive ~ it makes me want to cry . Laura 's optimism and positive spirit - and yes , her intact sense of humor - humble me . Laura writes : " I just got complete Internet back . It was limited before . Came back to Galveston on Wednesday , Sept . 24 . Damage to the house worse than John had first thought . Flooding came up about three feet on our first floor , the furniture basically ruined along with the AC / heating unit , John 's bicycle , lots of tools . Standing in salt water for so many hours does not appear to have done many of our plants much good , including the pecan and crape myrtle trees . Dead and dying trees all over the island , and rubble alongside all the roads , many buildings and houses completely gone . Ruined furniture in front of most houses and businesses waiting to be hauled off . Looks like a hurricane hit this place . So many people have to rebuild their homes , others have no apartments to go to , which is even worse . Our house is covered in mold , of course . Gradually getting it clean , claims adjuster coming tomorrow . Our refrigerator is still operating , unlike most appliances in our house . I went to clean it out as soon as I arrived . I was unable to open the freezer , however . John was thinking we might have to throw it out right away , but he was able to open it and then I found out the problem . Household hint : If a hurricane is coming , throw out the frozen bread dough BEFORE it hits . During the power outage , my dough had risen , filling the freezer . Then it froze after rising . You can imagine how much fun that was to clean out ! No drinkable water . Some volunteers brought a case of bottled water Wednesday night . We had bought some on the way down to Houston , but glad to have more . Also , the Red Cross has been driving through the neighborhoods each night with free meals , hardly gourmet , but few people have cooking appliances and we are in the minority with a working refrigerator , I think . So it is helping a lot of people , especially the old ladies without transportation living around here . Nobody can wash clothes in this water either . Proctor and Gamble has a free laundromat by the Seawall which we plan to go to . Don 't know how they got the water - - the commercial laundromats are all closed . I used to wake up to the sound of white - winged doves cooing in the morning , but have not seen or heard the doves since I came back . Flown away ? Blown away ? Dead ? My neighbor has been trying to place people who have no homes . Evidently the Austin shelters closed down and sent people back here , but they don 't have any place to stay . Most of the hotels which would accept FEMA vouchers are full of contractors . So shelters are getting set up . My gas is not on because I 'm on the waiting list for a plumber to come check it out and see whether it is safe . No wind damage to speak of . The water ( which you aren 't supposed to swim in ) is high , but only up to the jetties out on the Gulf . I 'm so grateful I had a place to go to during the hurricane and its aftermath , and grateful to have a home to come back to . I 'm also grateful to have a bedroom on the second floor ! And that Galveston built the Seawall after 1900 . Laura " Things Learned During Hurricane Ike and the Aftermath . . . 1 . Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill . 2 . No matter how many times you flick the switch , lights don 't work without electricity . 3 . My car gets 23 . 21675 miles per gallon , EXACTLY ( you can ask the people in line who helped me push it ) . 4 . Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller in their hand . 5 . Cats are even more irritating without power . 6 . He who has the biggest generator wins . 7 . Women can actually survive without doing their hair - you just wish they weren 't around you . 8 . A new method of non - lethal torture - showers without hot water . 9 . There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought . 10 . TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful . 11 . A 7 lb bag of ice will chill 6 - 12 oz Budweiser 's to a drinkable temperature in 11 minutes , and still keep a 14 lb . turkey frozen for 8 more hours . 12 . There are a lot of dang trees around here . 14 . Aluminum siding , while aesthetically pleasing , is definitely not required . 15 . Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14 generators . 16 . People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the line is for . 17 . When required , a Lincoln Continental will float , doesn 't steer well but floats just the same . 18 . Tele - marketers function no matter what the weather is doing . 19 . Cell phones work when land lines are down , but only as long as the battery remains charged . 20 . Twenty seven of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than you , and they are quick to point that out ! 21 . Hampers were not made to contain such volume . 22 . If my store sold only ice , chainsaws , gas and generators . . . I 'd be rich . 25 . Tree service companies are under appreciated . 26 . I learned what happens when you make fun of another states ' blackout . 27 . MATH 101 : 30 days in a month , minus 6 days without power , equals 30 % higher electric bill ? ? ? ? ? 28 . Drywall is a compound word , take away the ' dry ' part and it 's worthless . 29 . I can walk a lot farther than I thought . Tuesday , 9 / 23 - Mary Frances ( Shepherd ) Ginsbach wrote … " Ten days after Ike and we still have no electricity . Other than that , we are fine . We had lots of large limbs fallen from our trees , and a few leaks in the house . Nothing too bad . I am at my daughter 's , whose electricity came on Sunday . We keep hoping any day now . The first few days were not too bad as a cool front made it to Houston - temperatures were in the low 80 's and 60 's . All in all , we have been very blessed , but would like to have power ! ! ! ! ! Mary Frances " Monday PM , 9 / 22 : Herbert earlier wrote that a picture of the road his house is on was published as the front page lead story of the San Antonio Express News on Monday the 16th . The link to that page was no longer active , so he sent that photo to me today as an attachment ( now inserted here ) . He explained that one neighbor ( whose house is pictured here ) left to go to town after the storm had hit , with ditches not even full and very little water in the pastures , to return 3 hours later to this . She said it was mid thigh in her driveway and she was unable to drive her truck more than 5 feet off of the road due to the depth . Of his own activities , Herbert wrote : " Going home today if I can find a room air conditioner that can run on my generator . I won 't have access to internet for a while - no electricity or phones yet . The damage to the area where I live is real bad and the smell is totally unreal and almost unbreathable . They are hauling dead cattle out by the 18 wheeler load and still flying over looking for people . Fish are everywhere . The water has gone down about 5 feet and leaves everything BLACK . Ditches still have about 4 or 5 feet of water in them and very little flow . " Herbert Johns sent this truncated message this evening , 9 / 20 : Well I have been able to get to my house daily since Tuesday : water still covering most of yard and part of driveway but shop was semi dry so I began to start generators . 2 generators ( 1 is a 5250 watts 1 is 5500 watts ) . One will not carry my house and the well . They were both flooded and partially under water at one time so it took most of Tuesday 6 : 00PM curr . . . I hope that Herbert just " sent " too soon - in the middle of a word - and not that something suddenly happened to him . Hopefully he will finish his message soon . J ( Lonita ) June Sillings Priest wrote on Saturday PM , 9 / 20 : " Happy to say we had no damage to our home . Only branches , tons of leaves to rake , and gutters to clean out . Our power was returned on Monday , Sept 15 , and today we got our cable , internet , phone back ! Thank God ! How spoiled we become ! We left on Thursday before the storm and went to Lumberton / Beaumont where our sons live . We took our 5th - wheel just in case we needed a place to live after the storm . We stayed at John Pauls and then returned home on Saturday afternoon about 3 pm . It was a very eerie trip back home as we were some of the first on the highway . Some roads were completely shut off , thus , we had to make several detours but we finally arrived to find our home completely intact . The Texas City Dyke where we once owned a marina , is completely gone . Nothing standing but a few light poles . People familiar with the levy surrounding Texas City will be surprised that the water came within about 2 feet of overflowing ! It is 18 ft high so you can see just how close we came to being in big trouble . Never again will I complain when they want money to maintain it , widen it , or make it taller ! As you have seen from all the media coverage , it is horrible and we will be many months , if not years , getting back to normal . The tv coverage really doesn 't begin to show the devastation . Seeing if from afar and up close are two completely different things . And thank God we don 't have " scratch and sniff " tv ! The death toll climbs daily , and I am sure many more bodies will be recovered as the debris is cleared . I know many of you would like to help . . . . . and the best way is a contribution to the Red Cross ( http : / / american . redcross . org / site / PageServer ? pagename = ntld _ main ) or the Salvation Army ( http : / / www . salvationarmy . org / ihq / www _ sa . nsf ) . They have been " Johnny on the spot " since the beginning . Their trucks are everywhere eager to render immediate assistance . As Neil Frank said on tv , each hurricane has a life of it 's own . It is hard to compare one storm with another as each carries it 's own baggage . Some sport winds , others surge tides , and others rain . We have learned that " category " numbers really don 't matter much . . . . . beware of them all ! Jim and I appreciate all your calls , emails , texts , etc . Please keep all the folks in your prayers , make donations if you can , and hold your loved ones close . We were truly protected by God 's grace and the levy ! Love ya , June and Jim Priest " " I don 't like IKE ! " Laura McNeil Burns entitled her message , Saturday , 9 / 20 : John was able to see our house , still standing , ground floors damaged , AC / heating unit for downstairs shot , outbuildings flooded and John 's power tools ruined . John was afraid of not being able to go see his mother in Wisconsin , for ( probably ) the last time . But Houston airports reopened and he went . Coming to Austin Tuesday and going back to Galveston Wednesday . Does not want me to go as electricity probably won 't be on until at least Thursday and there is no sewage . We contacted insurance folks ourselves as that was quicker ( our agency also had to evacuate and is no doubt swamped , so I don 't really fault them ) . So he is all set to go with the claims adjuster . Also we may be eligible for some FEMA relief , but from their web site , there isn 't much point in applying until we get the word on insurance . Ike pretty farflung all right . In chasing down the insurance stuff I talked to a guy in Ohio , amazed at the 85mph winds it brought there . All could have been worse for me , so many totaled houses . Laura " Sonny Jones sent this Saturday afternoon , 9 / 20 : " Karla , Thanks for thinking of us . Elaine and I live in Pearland , but not too far from the Gulf Freeway . We stayed and rode it out , but I 'm not sure we would again if another storm that size ever comes . We 've been without power for a week , but it just came on again this morning . There was just so much distruction , it 's hard to fathom . I believe much of it was due to small twisters as well as the winds and storm surge . We stayed up all night , and at one point , I 'm sure we heard a short ( 20 seconds or so ) trainlike sound that I 'm assuming took part of our roof , which eventually lead to a lot of water blowing in and there - you - go . I 'm sure you 've seen footage of Galveston , Bolivar , Seabrook , Kemah , etc . It 's really bad for some . It 's hard to feel anything but thankful for only having to restore your property when some lost so much . I feel when all is said and done , the death count will be very highLarry Smith and Billy Carter also sent me the link to this website . The lead to the photos follows : In its brief lifespan of only 13 days , Hurricane Ike wreaked a great deal of havoc . Affecting several countries including Cuba , Haiti , and the United States , Ike is blamed for approximately 114 deaths ( 74 in Haiti alone ) , and damages that are still being tallied , with estimates topping $ 10 billion . Many shoreline communities of Galveston , Texas were wiped from the map by the winds , storm surge and the walls of debris pushed along by Ike . Though Galveston was spared the level of disaster it suffered in 1900 . Billy Carter forwarded this e - mail to me this evening ( Friday , 9 / 19 ) . It is from Bill Adams , another of our classmates . Billy explained ' Bill Adams just sold his home on the north side of West Galveston Bay . His twin brother , Pat and wife , Eileen , still live in that same West Galveston Bay neighborhood . " Here 's the e - mail Bill Adams sent to Billy Carter 9 / 19 : " Sorry to reply so late . Just got Internet hook up through a satellite hook up . Devastation in the area needless to say . . . the trucks have been going into Galveston for the past 3 days we 've been back from Boston . It 's unbelievable really . Thank goodness I sold my home just a few days before the storm hit . My buyers don 't seem to blame me and are good natured about it . The whole ground floor was washed away in every house on my former street . I had left my boat at Elaine 's . It ended up a half mile away under the I45 freeway , still on its trailer . I 'm helping Elaine clean up . I guess I didn 't escape the disaster after all . Pat and Eileen 's house is destroyed downstairs as is everyone else 's . I 'm going to help Elaine get things cleaned up the rest of the week and hoping Monday to get the hell out of Texas for awhile . Bill Laura Striegler Wilson wrote this report on Thursday evening , 09 / 18 " Hi everyone ! We sustained very little damage at our home in Pearland . Just a few very small limbs out of our trees , and debris from the neighbors ' trees . No damage to our home . We hunkered down at home during the storm , and afterward , with power out , moved into our Travel Trailer in our drive and used a small generator sparingly to keep our food good , and ourselves comfortable . We got power back Tuesday evening , and were able to comfortably move back into our home that evening . We have had a few house guests , one of which still cannot go home . We feel very fortunate indeed . My office in League City had access to our offices and we were back at work on Tuesday by noon . I run an Insurance Agency and also manage the Insurance Division for the Parent Corporation , so have had our hands rather full . Hope others fared as well . Good Luck to All . Laura ( Striegler ) Wilson " Judee Utgard Schroeder reported in Thursday evening , 09 / 18 : " Al and I were very blessed . We lost power about 3 am on Saturday , but got it back about 4 : 30 pm the same day . With the exception of a few tree branches and lots of debris , we had no damage at all . Herbert Johns reporting from Winnie , TX , Thursday AM , 9 / 18 ( see John 's initial report below ) : " Well I got home today . My daughter ( 35 miles away ) got electricity so we came to her house and I can drive back & forth to work on the damage . It is bad folks ! ! ! ! God spared me and my house to a great extent . I have some roof damage ( holes close to the edge and shingles missing and siding missing or in the yard or neighbors yard 500 or so feet away ) . 7 or 8 trees down ( non on the house or barn ) . The water has gone down enough to be able to start a generator , which will give my well working . It will take several days to get my house safe and then I will let the rest go and try to help my neighbors with more serious damage than I . When you live in the country your neighbor needing help may live3 to 5 miles away but you still go help . Electricity in maybe 2 to 3 weeks or longer . It is hot and smelly . The water which is everywhere is BLACK and stagnant and the ground smells ( stinks ) . It smells a cross between dead fish and dead animals decaying . It is a real mess but fixable because we will repair and help each other repair ( not like New Orleans ) We aren 't waiting on the Government to fix it for us , We are doing it the way Americans have always done it by helping each other . We need lots of prayers folks - it is a REAL Mess . A lot of underbrush no longer needs to be cleared and trees no longer need to be thinned - just cleaned up . Gilchrist , Crystal Beach , Port Bolivar are almost non - existent . I would venture to say that there are no habitable buildings left that do not require extensive repairs to be livable . Some houses are ONLY a pile of broken 2 X 4 's and etc . I will try to keep you informed as to progress . Herb " Wednesday Morning , 09 / 17 / 08 , I received this from Larry Bass : " Good morning Karla : What a great idea about sharing our experiences with Ike . For some of us , like Kathy and I , we have time to do so while we wait for our community to return to normal . We survived relatively intact , thank God . We live in a small gated community which adjoins the Willow Creek Golf Club , just South of the Woodlands . Ike was much worse than we thought it would be . We probably had hurricane force winds for at least 5 hours beginning about 2 a . m . Saturday morning . Many trees down in our neighborhood and on the golf course . Debris everywhere . Fortunately , we did not lose any tress or have serious damage to our home . Our entry / exit gates are supposed to default open in case of power loss , but failed to do so . So , while the hurricane was over us we had to find a way to open the gates to prevent a possible disaster if entry or exit were necessary . Through the efforts of neighbors the gates were opened . We lost electricity at about 3 a . m . Saturday . I believe the western edge of the eye of the storm passed over our neighborhood for there was a lull then a wind shift . The wind was much stronger on the back side of the storm , for many of the tress fell from north to south . Something to keep in mind for future reference . We stayed at our home until Tuesday , when we lost water pressure . With no power or water , it was time to leave , which we did . I write this email from my Sister 's home in Fairfield , Texas , which is about 140 miles north of Houston on I - 45 . FYI - on our drive to Fairfield , we noticed that there is NO power from Spring through to and including Madisonville . There are portable signs indicating that the first gas available north of Houston , is in Centerville . Our community came together and the sharing and caring was wonderful . Sometimes it takes a disaster to find out just how supportive people can and will be . I was born and reared in Houston , leaving only for college and 3 yeas active duty with the USMC . I have been exposed to numerous hurricanes and I believe Ike will rank right up there with Carla . We are just thankful that there were no known injuries to those we know and love . Our hearts go out to those that were not so fortunate . We will stay in Fairfield until basic services are restored to our home . Hopefully , that will be soon . I do hope that all of you fared as well as did we . Kathy and Larry Bass " < ? xml : namespace prefix = v ns = " urn : schemas - microsoft - com : vml " /> Received Tuesday , 9 / 15 / 08 , from Billy Carter : ( See report Billy sent before the storm at the bottom of this page . ) " These photos tell how lucky we were , avoiding serious storm damage . We live two miles West of I45 , off FM 2920 . Ike 's eye passed approximately three miles East of I45 . We never lost gas nor water . We could cook and take great hot showers . Books and visits with neighbors filled our idle time , as did the removal of limbs and making temporary repairs to fences . ( click photos to enlarge ) Our boat had no damage . Note the double dock lines . One original line did break . Amanda is in the boat picture . We recharged a Cell Phone battery on our drive to Lake Conroe . 9 / 15 , Monday PM - " Herbert Johns here : My daughter had her baby ( boy 8 lb 5 and 20 1 / 2 inches ) on the 9th . She got out of the hospital Thursday 12 : 30 and we left after helping S - i - L board up house to New Braunfels ( niece ) . We plan not to come back until she has electricity in Mont Belvieu . It may be months before I get electricity back at Winnie but I will be close enough to drive back and forth every so often for some A / C . Right now the water is still too high to think of starting a generator . Still 2 1 / 2 to 3 feet in the driveway , but a rancher doesn 't think water got in the house or does he know how deep it got in the shop and garage . Generators are in the shop . My road made the front page headline and 1 / 2 page picture in the San Antonio Express News . The picture shows my neighbors , and I am about 100 yards south of the picture which is the bottom of the picture . The road runs north and south . Lots of water and I am anxious to get back home to access damage and etc . and start to help clean up the mess so that all of us in area can start over . South to Winnie is bad and South to High Island is worse ( dead cattle and destroyed houses ) from other pictures that I have seen and talked to people that road it out Gilchrist , Crystal Beach , Port Bolivar are all but GONE very few houses LEFT . As I know more I will try to send more . I don 't have the mental capability to send pictures over this thing even if I had them but TV is doing a pretty good job on pictures right now . It is BAD folks ! Herbert Johns " Ann Herman Beatty wrote on Sunday 9 / 14 PM : " We , here in the wild , wild West did fine . We 've had some rain for the last two weeks . What was overlooked was that Lubbock ( 125 miles north of Midland ) had over 7 inches of rain . My son said they by mid - night they had cancelled schools and Tech and Lubbock Christian College classes . They drained the water from the football stadium , then had to go through with pressure hoses to get the gunk out . I 've been listening to the Weather Station . After mandatory evacuations in Galveston they estimated about 40 % of people opted to ride it out . Big mistake . Can understand why police , fire dept . possibly national guard , a few doctors and nurses had to stay . Otherwise , get out of Dodge . On national news they said there was a big truck with ice and water . They have no phone or electricity , and it is anticipated it will be at least 2 weeks before electricity is restored in Galveston . They got some busses across the bridge and offered transport to San Antonio . Many were only too anxious after wading in higher than waist high water . Ike tore up parts of the seawall . They kept talking about Clear Lake and the damage there with overturned boats , sunken boats , etc . Big piers with hotel and restaurants in ocean in Galveston were torn apart . A lot of power was out in Houston . . . also phone service . AHB " Richard Ybarra wrote on Sunday evening , Sept 14 : " Thank God we came through this storm in good shape . We are all fine . We are doing great in Kingwood . We were only without lights for 17 hours . We must live next to someone who works for Centerpoint or has an elderly mother in our neighborhood . I went this morning and checked on my parents in the old neighborhood and took them ice and an ice chest . Even at their age without electricity they do not want to leave their home . Dad is 95 and Mom is 90 and they are still very independent . They are the essence of the independent Texas spirit . All the news media is criticizing the federal response and not talking at all about what people can do for themselves . If anyone has an opportunity , call Channel 13 and KTRH and tell them that our country cannot be run from Washington , D . C . This is another example of how the federal government has once again shown us how inept the bureaucrats are . We need to run our own state and depend on ourselves . So much for the soap box , I hope everyone is safe and I am looking forward to hearing that you all came through this storm okay . God Bless . Richard " Sunday evening , 9 / 14 , Donald Veazey wrote from New Mexico : " One of the great benefits of living in the Land of Enchantment is our great barrier wall that prevents storms like Ike from coming here ( note : we love women so we did let Dolly in briefly ) . And just in case anyone asks , yes , I 'm responsible for the great barrier wall . : - ) It 's fascinating watching the horror of killer storms from such long distances knowing that you 're completely safe from the destruction and the aftermath with the total inconvenience of no services . I can recall riding out 3 or more hurricanes while a resident of Houston and environs and they weren 't fun . So my thoughts are with those who rode out this fellow . As best I can determine none of my cousins who remain in the Houston area were harmed . Stay well , Don " Sunday 9 / 14 afternoon , Gladys Marie Payne Bohac reported : " We have survived the storm very well . I prayed all during the storm 's impact and know the Lord answered my prayers . All of my family did great . My daughter lost power for about one hour . We never lost power and had very little in our yard but leaves and tree limbs . We feel very blessed not to have much if any damage . My next door neighbor had a very large tree uprooted in her front yard and the top of the tree was over our driveway . She also had a large tree on the side of her house blow over and land on her roof . No one was injured . Houston was really hit very badly and a lot of people we know have lost power . Charlotte ( Vann Casselberry ) is without power and is staying here until power is restored . Please continue to pray for everyone that the power will be restored soon . So sad . Please take care and in touch . Love , Gladys " Sunday morning , 9 / 14 : Received this e - mail from John Echoff , who lives between Galveston and Houston : " Just a note to let all my extended family know that Linn and I survived the storm in good shape . We lost electricity Friday night around midnight . We are on a well , so without electricity , we have no water . That is until I got the generator running . Then - boy did that hot shower feel great . Of course , the electricity came back on about an hour after hooking up the generator . We managed to get a little sleep last night ( Sat ) before returning to work Sunday A . M . Damage - wise , we were quite lucky . One tree hit the northwest corner of the house and damaged only the gutter . Sixteen ( 16 ) other trees either blew down or were snapped off . The yard looked like a virtual forest . The barn was hardest hit . We lost 3 of the 4 skylights , and the rear wall and the east wall were pushed out by the storm . The barn is where we keep the riding lawnmower , 4 wheeler , all three motorcycles , and our ' 48 Wyllis Jeepster Convertible . In addition to that , I keep all my power tools and hand tools there - what a mess ! ! ! Our 10mth old Shepherd ( Tasha ) sustained a serious cut to her left front paw on something in the yard . Ever try to get a 10mth old pup to be still ? ! ? ! Hopefully she will sleep long enough today for it to close . If not , then tomorrow she goes for stitches . That 's it for now , will keep y ' all advised . John " REPORTS RECEIVED BEFORE IKE MADE LANDFALL : Billy Carter reported prior to Ike 's landfall : " IKE " , Friday morning , 9 / 11 . " Amanda , Cuddles and I are back home from Lake Conroe . Extra lines are in place on our boat - picture taken this morning . Right now it is absolutely perfect weather . The lull before the storm ? At 9 : 15 AM , without a single drop of rain , Galveston is already starting to flood from rising Gulf of Mexico 's waves . Billy " ( click photo to enlarge ) Laura McNeil Burns reported on Friday , 9 / 11 : " Left our home in Galveston yesterday morning ( Friday ) , and an hour and a half later , evacuation was made mandatory . John has to stay - - essential personnel at UTMB . Am at my sister Margaret 's place in Austin for now . Laura " Austin County 90 miles west of Houston : All is well here . We had no power for about 8 hours , parts of trees down everywhere and a few shingles off the north side of roof . 6 " of rain over two days . Now we are hosting people from Houston and Seabrook who really got pounded . Am upset with the reporters who seem to be trying to get an ice riot started . We 're Texans , we can handle adversity and fix this . Ike made it to Ky . , daughter Kristan without power . Two killed on motorcycles hit by tree , lady in bathtub from storm killed by tree . 74 miles hour wind . I know the situation in Galveston and Houston is bad but Texas people are strong and will pull together . Agree with Sheilas comment above . Know the struggles will come , health both physical / mental , shortages , mold but like I said Texans are strong willed people will make it fine . Just know the rest of the herd throughout the US are praying for you and awaiting any request for help you might need from us . Linda I had just typed a long tyrade about the idiots that call themselves " reporters " , but it disappeared , so I 'll condense it : Right before the storm hit , there was a " reporter " ( ie idiot with a mike ) standing on the seawall , pointing the camera toward the beach proclaiming there was water already up to the bottom of the sewall ! It was high tide - go figure . . . Then there was the moronic exchange between Wayne Delchifino ( moron 1st class ) and Governor Perry . WD was in a tyraide about being denied access to Bolivar , he wanted to be the 1st there and score some type of scoop . In fact all he wanted to do was hype the disaster and profit from the destruction and misery of those folks . I for one have had my fill of these idiots standing in the rain telling me it 's raining . I was oh , so very lucky , too . I woke up Saturday morning with a roof over my head . By 4pm , my power was back on . . . only 14hrs w / o electricity . Of course , I had no land line available , but the cell towers offered me a couple of hours of calling time . The water pressure was low and hence , no water . That only lasted a couple of days , and I seemed to manage OK . My Internet was back sometime Monday night . I am still w / o TV . Comcast hasn 't made it to my side of town , yet . I can 't and won 't complain . I had considered running to my cousins ' houses . One lives in College Station , and the other lives in the Crockett area . I 'm relieved that I didn 't because Mr . Ike spun right over the both of them , and neither has power . Mary Lou , just heard from the mother of a friend . Her lights came on in Seabrook tonight at 6 : 00 . She said the damage to the houses on Toddville varies from just a little to a bunch . Think most of the damage is water related . Hope all is well with yours . Sheila Hi folks , just got power back up and running @ 10 pm . I had just gone to bed and before I laid my head down on the pillow the lights came on . I have now just finished catching up on my e - mail that has been building since Friday night . Hi all . . . glad to hear from so many storm survivors . Navasota / Plantersville area seems to have mostly power line damage from fallen trees . No damage to our place , and only one big tree down . These Red Oaks have shallow roots and show a 10 foot wide pancake of roots when they fall . Power was restored in Navasota and along Hwy 105 to Plantersville yesterday . Three poles are down at the entrance to our road , so it may be a few more days for us to get power . We run our generator for 3 hours morning , afternoon , and evening to power the well , refrigerators and freezers , amd get some TV time . We were in God 's hands and He took good care of us . . . Larry Power is gradually being restored in the League City area and just south of here . I work in LC . I would echo John Echoff 's note , if we had the complete address on Toddville may be able to get a better report for Mary Lou . As others have said there is damage from very little , to total destruction , so would need the full address to be of help . I 'm baaaa - aaack . My daughter and son - in - law escaped from Santa Fe along with 2 of my " little angels " , an 18 year old , 15 year old and their puppy . Our eldest son came with them . We did have a family home in the subdivision take a direct hit by a huge tree in their front yard , fell thru the center of the house . The community had set up a hunker down shelter , at our club house , for anyone affraid of trees falling on their assets , which , in the aftermath of the storm has given this family a place of refuge until such time as provisions can be made for their wellbeing . How blessed we are to have the ability to do so ! John Echoff was able to get someone to visit Mary Lou 's house and take some pictures . I 'm sure one or the other of them will be telling us all about it soon . Thanks for all of your concern on her behalf . Karla Hubby John stayed in Houston and was without power from Friday evening until Tuesday around bedtime , otherwise fine , thank the good Lord . I was in Broaddus ( San Augustine County , Texas ) with Mother . Wind stayed high from 4 : 00 a . m . til about 10 : 00 p . m . Fortunately no damage to her home . Some tin off barn roofs and some trees down around farm , but that 's fixable ! Without electricity from 9 : 00 Saturday morning until Tuesday supper time , but my brother had supplied her with a generator after Rita , so we were okay . Even able to get gasoline not too far away to keep the generator running . We were so anxious to get news of the Gulf Coast area , especially Galveston , but national news acted like it hadn 't happened ! Disgusting ! Thanks to the wonderful blog , I 'm now able to get news and photos ! You guys are great - especially you , Karla ! My heart goes out to those who suffered much damage . I know things can be replaced - but not everything can ( photos , treasured heirlooms , etc . ) ! And what a mess trying to recover from a disaster like this . Thank you Sheila for info on how to help with the horse and cattle relief , and to John Echoff for helping Mary Lou . Update on Progress post Hurricane Ike : Tasha 's cut finally closed up without stiches . I bought Linn a new chain saw for her birthday ( 9 / 18 ) now we have his & hers , mine 's a Huskavarna , hers is a Stihl . Now how many of you guys are brave enough to buy your wife a chainsaw for her birthday ? We spread big blue tarps over the barn roof and are building a burn pile to rival the Aggie Bonfire - hear that Veazey , Crider ? For a small admission fee , we will allow you guys to attend the lighting of the mother of all bonfires and even furnish a cold Shiner ! We have made what repairs we can manage for the present , still no word from the insurance company . I was successful in getting a cohart at Seabrook PD to go the Mary Lou 's house there and he advised me of the condition - not good news . He took several photo 's ( about 30 ) and when he can get them to me , I 'll forward them to Mary Lou for her to use for insurance claims . I 'm very relieved that so far none of our classmates have had serious injury or death , one of my friends at the Department , an investigative sergeant , was killed trying to move a tree blocking ingress / egress from his subdivision - he died a hero in my eyes , trying to help others - a trait for which he was widely known and loved . God Bless you Sergeant Tommy Keen , may you rest in Peace . . . Posted by : Several of you , and most newscasters , have mentioned Hurricane Carla 's devastation to the same area in 1961 . I have very distinct memories of my namesake . You know , there were not many C ( K ) arlas around when I was growing up . I was named for my dad ( Carl ) and really didn 't like my name because it was so unfamiliar . In the fall of 1961 Ed and I had been engaged for about 4 months . He was in the process of taking me to his old stomping grounds to meet his family and friends . He grew up in the Kemah / League City area , so you can imagine their facial expressions when he said my name . They tried to recover and look delighted to meet me . . . and I tried to understand that they were not responding to me , but to the devastation that other Carla had caused them . Ed 's sister - who had three sons ages 4 - 5 - 6 lost her home and everything in it in Hurricane Carla . As they returned from their evacuation trip they saw their home , mostly smashed to splinters , on the highway three miles from their lot . They love me , but my name has forever evoked sad memories for them . Karla John , what is Houston looking like ? Still wearing that Old Spice shaving lotion ? I just know it keeps the Mosquitos away when you are working and Mike also when he goes fishing . We are living in a trying time storm / money wise . Sounds like some folks on wall street need to be wearing stripe suits instead of pin - striped . I hope this is a wake up call to Washington , to know WE ARE WATCHING YOU ! People for many years , not just the last eight have been lining their pockets while the trust of the American people has been going out the window . If this " plan " / bailout does not work we may see a repeat of the window show the herd only heard from their grandparents . I just viewed a copy of the Declaration of Independence at the local Massie Heritage Center , it was behind bullet proof glass with two officers guarding it . Unsigned at the bottom , was a copy to be approved of by each state . Words by patriots , men that loved this country and put their life on the line when they signed that piece of paper that has been the glue that has held us together . Guess I had better get off my soap box would encourage everyone to vote . Hey Laura , if you and John need a clean , cool place to rest a few days , our guest room is available . It isn 't grand , just a bed and airconditioning , but you are welcome to visit for a few nights , days or whatever . Also our washer and dryer are sitting idle at the moment . If you need manpower help , I 'm off Friday and Saturday . We have our place picked up and are waiting on the adjuster , so if you need help or a place send me a message ( johnechoff @ hotmail . com ) . Posted by : Linda Lou , you constantly amaze me with your observations and comments . Your mind must never slow down , the observations , like the one about the Declaration of Independence are very thought provoking . The patriots , indeed , put everything , lives property , family - everything , on the line when they signed their names . Would any of today 's Washington crowd be brave enough to do the same , I have my doubts . . . John , you are very kind , but the cool weather and ceiling fans ( yeah , we do have electricity ! ) are keeping us comfortable . And Proctor and Gamble is kindly doing laundry for us and a lot of other people who can 't right now . We got a contractor signed up and hope to start tearing down next week , then rebuilding . Today I counted three working traffic lights in Galveston , a vast improvement . Cops are down here from many places ( including Round Rock , I 'm told ) . Lots of traffic lights not working in Houston and other parts of the mainland either . Wish they were directing traffic at every corner . Some houses have signs threatening looters , but that doesn 't seem to be much of a problem here . Traffic definitely is , along with the lack of services . We just got mail yesterday - - I stood in line two hours at the post office at La Marque , only to find that the delivery to my house had started ! Fortunately UTMB and later a church group came by delivering bottled water . The church people even provided hot dogs . A little late to help much with Ike relief , but , moved by your stories as well as others , I 've recently volunteered with the Red Cross and am in the process of going through the training they require . I 've been at the shelter on 610S and helped answer phones at the chapter off the SW fwy . I had hoped to be able to help directly with the relief of the Galveston area , but that may not be available to me at this stage . I had ancestral relatives in Galveston in 1900 storm . My mother 's maternal grandfather died and was buried there in 1898 but his brother , Frank Mundine , and his family were there . My grandmother ( pictured in my autobiography ) was 18 but her mother had moved the family back to the piney woods when she was widowed . Uncle Frank and family survived the storm but moved to Houston directly afterward where Uncle Frank was killed by a streetcar in the Heights . Posted by : We went out to look at appliances , bought a water heater and refrigerator so far , going to redo the kitchen completely . The sad thing is , redecorating like this and not knowing whether it will last . Everything is impermanent , of course , but this is ridiculous . We ended up throwing out 90 percent or so of the furniture downstairs . Some people salvaged it out of our front yard before the debris haul - off , but I don 't know about recycling something so moldy and nasty , though they are welcome to it if they can use it . I keep meeting people who lost everything , except the clothes they were wearing , practically , or their car . Asked at church to donate school uniforms to the kids who lost theirs . Trying to set up a clothes closet for Galveston College students . UTMB still closed down , little medical care on the island . My phone will be repaired Nov . 3 , so I hear . ( We can dial out , but people can 't call us ; make it nice and quiet , actually . ) So many little stores and restaurants closing down . The one bookstore with new books has decided to take the insurance money and close . Be a good time to open a bookstore , I said to John , but he said that if they were making money they would have reopened . Sounds tempting , though . Hard times for booksellers , when it 's easy to order any book online . The Rosenberg Library is closed , very flood damaged . We have gas , but no water heater , stove , dryer , or furnace to use it in . Cold showers are so brisk . Fortunately the weather has stayed pretty warm so far and the water heater we bought is coming Thursday . I have seen some white - winged doves , but they are very quiet . I wonder what kind of numbers they have to have to start cooing . I used to hear them ( Who - cooks - for - you ? ) every morning , but not lately . The flyway for migratory birds was supposed to be in bad shape , as the hurricane stripped all the mulberries from the trees . The strong birds will survive , I suppose . All our pecans were knocked down , but I would not dream of gathering them up for baking , not after they soaked in all that nasty water . We have been watering our trees . Some scoffed , but the pecans are starting new leaves . I don 't know if the crepe myrtle will make it . Wishing all a Happy New Year , a strange way to start a new year money / government / war ect . Bought a little sign from the wit of Winston Churchill , " IF YOU ' RE GOING THRU HELL , KEEP GOING " . As long as Old Glory is still flying I know there are people in our Government / armed services that are keeping us safe . Hi Linda , I guess old habits are hard to break . My Father and his father both wore the stuff so I guess I came by it honest . The only other scent that I appreciated from " back in the day " was that of a good haircut . Ask the lady about her parfuuume , would be a great compliment to her . Be sure your wife is at your side . Would be a good pickup line for the single Buffalos . I remember telling the staff about a nice smell on one of our male staff as he passed by , the expression on his face was a glow do think he had a higher step and seemed pleased as punch with himself . So . . . . . works both ways with men and women . Everyone needs flowers ( compliments ) from time to time . Linda Yes , Linda . That usually works for everyone 's self esteem . It seems the older we get the more self esteem uplift we get and give is the better ( ok I wasn 't an English teacher ) . Everyone notice the new email address . johns726 @ yahoo . com It seems that progress can be seen each day on the repairs around the area . Ranchers have miles and miles of fence to build and wire and posts cost have gone out of sight , like gasoline did for a while . But it doesn 't look like the farming costs are going down , but up . Most of my friends have had to sell all of their cattle and will need to try to start over once the fences are built and the land has recovered from the salt and will grow grass that will sustain the livestock or grow crops . Folks look for food prices to go UP . When a $ 150 , 000 tractor that isn 't paid for is junked , that hurts and it is hard to recover financially . Yes , insurance helps , but how are the fields worked in the meantime ? Most fields south of Highway 73 are unable to grow crops or grass . Hear the pawn shops are quiet busy . Visited one the other day saw a picture of a Black man holding a guitar with a caption that read , " If a guitar hasn 't been in a pawn shop it can 't play the blues " . By the way , didn 't pawn anything , Sonny went in there to buy a 12 gage riot gun . Little things in life are more precious . Love of family , friends , simple enjoyments are very special at this time to me . Pardon my rambling always felt talking it out helps and in this day and time many people are laughing to keep from crying . Yes , Linda . The farmers and ranchers are not like the CEO 's and Accountants of the big Auto Co . s , Banks , and etc that make $ Million salaries with $ Million benefits and planes . The workers aren 't getting any $ Billion help from the taxpayer and they are not in trouble due to their own greed and crookedness . Any other thief would go to jail for what the CEO 's and accountants have done and not be given more money to steal . I 'll get off of my soapbox . Do you all know anything about educators not being able to draw full Social Security benefits when they retire ? We found that so unbelievable that we didn 't take it serious until recently when we started figuring out what we can expect in retirement . We naturally assumed we would get SS benefits like everyone else . Ed was required to pay both SS and Texas Teacher Retirement for many years and is fully vested . In most places , public educators no longer pay SS , but for many years they were required to do so . I have not been employed at the right time or long enough in jobs that required / allowed SS participation so I do not have sufficient credits to expect anything . However , we WERE expecting that Ed would collect his benefits and that I would get the usual spouse benefits . NOT SO ! We will draw only a modest percentage of Ed 's benefits , and I will get NO spouse benefits . We have now gone to a number of seminars and information meetings , and we have read a LOT of material about this . Do you know why we will not get full SS benefits ? ? ? Because it would be considered a WINDFALL . Yep , it 's the Windfall Elimination Provision ( WEP ) . We will get our Teacher Retirement benefits - but believe me , that is NOT a windfall . If we got both Teacher Retirement and SS benefits it would not be a windfall . How ludicrous ! Teacher Associations have been working on this for years , it gets good press , looks like it will be repealed , then dies . I do know that Obama as a senator was vocal about repealing the WEP . Now , don 't most other professionals get full SS benefits in addition to their company , government , or military pension ? Please set me straight if that is not correct . Karla I 've been away from Denver for the month and out of touch . I just read your note about the WEP . I do know something about this provision and will send you some information in the next few days . Well , Herbert did you have fun on your cruise ? Where did you go ? Play the slots ? Eat a lot ? Dance ? Let us know how much fun you had . Just think , spring is coming soon with its renewal . Things always look better with a little green grass growing around us . Posted by : June 6 , 2009 - Eight Milby Buffs and their spouses gathered at the home of Larry and Charlene Smith for a little target practice and a lot of eating and visiting . A great time was had by all ! ! ! Click on title or thumbnails to view and read more . One of the REAL treats at " The SHOOTOUT , Part Deaux " was the viewing of Charleen 's quilts . Click thumbnail or title to see photos . Once inside be sure to read the captions . Charles Crider wrote , " In mid - May , we departed Houston and flew to Honolulu for a duel celebration of Dolly 's birthday and our 45th anniversary . " Click on the title or thumbnail to see enlarged photos and read the captions . John Echoff 's Retirement Celebration Jody Bugg orchestrated the May 13 , 2010 luncheon and wrote : " We had 19 attend the luncheon today . We had a great time . " Click on thumbnails or titles to enlarge the photos and read the captions - more narrative to follow . The threat of inclement weather dictated a change of venue . However , that did not in any way change our enjoyment of the company . Click on photos to open and enlarge . ( Captions will follow ) Glamorous duds and a four course meal were advertised for the Saturday evening gala , but laughter and love were the main attractions . Click on photos to open and view . ( captions will follow ) It was difficult to say farewell on Sunday morning , but already there was talk of " the next time we get together . . . " Click on thumbnails to enlarge photos . ( captions will follow ) Brenda Collins Burnett has sent the photos from her elementary years . She started school at Park Place Elementary ( 2 years ) and finished at Southmayd Elementary . Can you find yourself in any of these photos ? Perhaps you can help her fill in the gaps on her identification . Post your info via a comment under the post " Photo Albums " . Now click on this thumbnail to open the album . and then click on each thumbnail inside to see the enlarged photos and descriptions . We all have them - whether sons and daughters , grandkids ( or great grandkids ) , nieces and nephews , or the kids next door . And we all love them - especially when they are being their best selves and looking adorable . So how about sending some photos of the kids in your life ! ? ! ? ! ( Click on each photo to open . ) Jody Bugg invited the Ladies of the Milby Class of 1960 to meet for lunch on Monday , February 1 . Click on titles or thumbnails to see the photos of this occasion and read the narrative . Milby Class of ' 59 Reunion October 16 - 18 , 2009 was the weekend for the 50th Reunion of the Milby Class of 1959 . These guys were our heroes - the " older " classes always are ! Click on titles or thumbnail to see photos of that great group of Buffalo . Current photos of Milby grads and their friends and families ( especially grandkids and great grandkids and / or other 2nd and 3rd generation youngsters ) . Click on album title to open . Once inside the album , click on individual thumbnails to view larger images . Send your photos and narrative to your blogmeister . ( davise @ swbell . net ) Remember the lovely Cinderella Story Charlotte shared with us a while back ? Well , here 's the beginning of the next chapter - HER Wedding ! ! ! . Click on the titles or thumbnails for a larger view and narrative . A group of Milby Buffs gathered in Kemah to enjoy Sonny Jones and the band " American Boogie " perform . Click on titles or thumbnails to view photos and read captions . June 27 , 2009 Check out the adventurous life Karla and Ed Davis lived in Africa in the 60 's . Made memories to last a lifetime ! Click on titles or thumbnails to enlarge photos and read captions . Do you remember this favorite topic teachers assigned for a first writing project when school started each fall ? Let 's revisit it through our classmates ' photos and captions . Click photos to open / enlarge and to read narrative . Throughout the Spring and into the Summer we have watched as Larry Smith 's Century plant " does its thing " ! Click on thumbnails or titles to see this incredible sight . Read captions for details . John and Linn Echoff recently returned from a 3492 mile road trip , taking time to " smell the roses " throughout the heartland of America . Click on this title or image to view some of the sights they saw and to read John 's narrative . Then click on the thumbnail of each photo to view the enlarged picture . " Bo and I have been blessed to travel to a lot of different countries over the last 17 years . What a joy to see so many of the beautiful places in this world . " Click on this title to see the places in the world that Gladys Payne Bohac has been privileged to visit . Once inside the album , click on each thumbnail for an enlarged view and the accompanying narrative . " Holiday Expressions " , Charlotte and Gladys ( 2007 ) Charlotte Vann Casselberry Dew and Gladys Payne Bohac create beautiful Christmas decorations and gifts and sell them through their business , " Holiday Expressions " . Click on the title or thumbnail to open the album . Once in , click on each thumbnail to see an enlarged view of some of their creations and to read other information about their business . Karla 's Projects My sense of personal fulfillment seems to be somewhat dependent on having a creative project in progress . My projects seldom conform to anything seen in hobby shops or magazines . They are , however , creative , and they are all mine ! Double click on this title to open . Inside , double click on any thumbnail to see an enlarged image and read about the project . ( Then - as always - send me your stuff so I can create a project photo album on the blog for YOU ! ) Ken Corey and his wife Carole spent a few years in the beautiful city of Skopje , Macedonia while Ken managed a building project . Let 's view this part of the world through their eyes and experiences ! To open this album , click on the title or the photo . Once inside , be sure to click on thumbnails to view larger images and read narrative . Paul Schrader 's Gorilla Trek , July 2007 Paul Schrader and his wife , Carolyn , recently ( July 2007 ) returned from a trip to Africa during which they were privileged to engage in a trek to view the mountain gorillas of Uganda . Click on this album title to view the pictures and read Paul 's commentary . When viewing the photos , click on the thumbnails for an enlarged image . Let 's share the photos that we took at Thanksgiving or over the Christmas Holidays this year ( 2007 ) . Click on this title or thumbnail to open this album . Then , as you look at each image , double click on the thumbnail for an enlarged view . These will take you WAY BACK ! Here are photos from our elementary school classes . ( Click on album title to open . Once inside the album , click on individual thumbnails to view larger images . ) If you can supply more info or other photos , contact your blogmeister . ( davise @ swbell . net ) For most of us , this age was pretty awkward as we were continually changing in every way . But it was an exciting time too , as we met and made new friends from the other elementary schools that fed into Deady . See if you recognize the Milby 1960 graduates among these smiling faces . ( Click on album title to open . Once inside the album , click on individual thumbnails to view larger images . ) Submit other photos or information to your blogmeister . davise @ swbell . net Our Milby Buffalo yearbooks contain many photographs that serve as the basis for memories of our days at Milby . Some of us have other photos of various activities and events during the years we were in high school that were not in the Buffalo . This album contains photos that fit in that category . ( Click on album title to open . Once inside the album , click on individual thumbnails to view larger images . ) Send your photos and info to your blogmeister . davise @ swbell . net We all have memories of various plays and programs participated in or attended during our high school days . Here are some photos of the 1958 Carats Program to embellish those memories . ( Click on album title to open . Once inside the album , click on individual thumbnails to view larger images . ) 1959 Carats Program We all have memories of various plays and programs participated in or attended during our high school days . Here are some photos of the 1959 Carats Program to embellish those memories . ( Click on album title to open . Once inside the album , click on individual thumbnails to view larger images . ) 1960 Carats Program We all have memories of various plays and programs participated in or attended during our high school days . Here are some photos of the 1960 Carats Program to embellish those memories . ( Click on album title to open . Once inside the album , click on individual thumbnails to view larger images . ) Milby Kaleidoscope Programs We all have memories of various plays and programs participated in or attended during our high school days . Here are some photos from the Plainsman produced Kaleidoscope Program to embellish those memories . ( Click on album title to open . Once inside the album , click on individual thumbnails to view larger images . ) Please send any related photos that you have to add to this collection . davise @ swbell . net We all have memories of various plays and programs participated in or attended during our high school days . Here are some photos from various productions and activities related to the Milby Drama Department to embellish those memories . ( Click on album title to open . Once inside the album , click on individual thumbnails to view larger images . ) Please send any related photos that you have to add to this collection . davise @ swbell . net
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TagsMissing Camp To this day , when summer rolls around I miss all the good things about camp . There were a few bad things , and I purposely chose not to write about them in Memory Lake because for the most part they have fallen by wayside over the years . You may already know I was not an ideal camper . I had no friends among the staff or even the counselors . I kept to my friends , chose easy activities , and never won an award . It should have been no surprise when I did not get asked to come back as a counselor . Still , I was completely miserable my 17th summer at home . All my friends were Up North without me . We did not communicate after camp had ended , or for many years after . That took a while . I missed the cabins , the lake , and my friends , or so I thought . What I really missed , ( and it took me many years to figure this out ) , was the ease of my faith and the peace it held over me while at camp . Once I got busy finding my faith away from camp , the pain considerably lessened . So now , even though camp has ended forever for me , my faith has not . I find it in all sunsets , not just the ones over Lake Michigan . I hear it in all birdsong , not just the whippoorwill . I feel it under all crescent moons , not just the ones outside my cabin screen . And I hold it close all year - long , not just in the summer . So , to all the young folks out there who are facing a spring that is leading to the pain of your first summer away from camp , I offer this excerpt from Memory Lake … " This is my last year , " Maggie said . " My parents don 't know it yet , " she added , in response to our gasps of surprise . Her family provided active support to the camp . We assumed she 'd return year after year like the rest of them . If it had been any other time , Susan 's conviction would have caused me to hyperventilate . Instead , I accepted it . " They probably won 't ask me back as a counselor , " I fished , peering askance at Linda , supposing she would know . " You don 't need to come back , " Linda stated with factual ease . " There are so many wonderful things you 've never done , places you 've never been . I may not see the lake again for many , many years . " We held a respectful silence , facing the surf and the horizon . I wondered if the same would hold true for me . " Most people have a place where they feel the Lord dwells , " Linda continued . " This will always be mine . And , I will carry it here . " She pressed a hand against her chest . " Decide what you want out of life , speak the words , and then let it happen . Creation happens by letting , " Linda said . " Oh , yeah , " I whispered . By ' letting ' myself be different , I had found the strength to break away from my friends . At the beginning of every summer I had plopped down on my cot and sensed camp 's fleeting existence in my life . Now I recognized its lasting presence . These time - outs from the distractions of home had helped me formulate who I wanted to be . Though still fuzzy and out of focus , the view had just grown clearer , and my faith in having the right tools , for me , had just grown stronger . I only needed to enter the world and learn to use them in a productive manner . Let my friends return as counselors , but I would move on . " Send your kids on an adventure this summer ! They will benefit greatly from being unplugged for a few weeks . They 'll learn to appreciate a beautiful sunrise and sunset . They 'll bask in the vista earned from a mountain hike . They 'll learn the satisfaction of building a campfire and the joy of paddling a canoe . Friendships will thrive on a different level from the school year and faith will become more than a vague concept . This happened to me and it changed my life , which is why I wrote " Memory Lake : The Forever Friendships of Summer . " Over five summers , for seven weeks at a time , I entered a thrilling world of autonomy . I gained confidence , meaningful friendships , and a glimmer of the adult I wanted to be . I will always be grateful to my parents for taking this leap of faith and letting me go . If you are curious about a traditional camp experience , or simply want to relive it , " Memory Lake " will take you there . Please enjoy this excerpt … … By the time I reached Sandpiper my sand - dappled feet had completely dried . I nudged my shoulder against the door , mindful of pinching my skin in the outer spring . This coil spanned the middle and creaked in protest while rubbing a small groove in the wood . I slipped through and it banged loudly . I flinched . My eyes adjusted and I searched about to see if anyone else had moved in . The bunk above mine wore a colorfully striped woolen blanket tucked neatly into every corner . " Hi , I 'm Nancy , " a voice said . I saw her silhouette against the screened window , mirroring my height . She stepped into a golden ray of afternoon sun . Her hair hung twice my length , with bangs , and traces of red among strands of black and brown . Her smile boasted perfectly white teeth , newly freed from braces . I understood her hopeful undertone . " Me too , " I gushed , equally relieved to know she would not be running off with some long missed friends from a previous summer . " Have you taken the swim test , yet ? " I shivered at the memory . " The lake is freezing ! " A stream of knowing laughter erupted from her chest . I laughed along , believing I had found a friend in this strange place . " It is cold , " she grimaced distastefully . " I did the test in the river . " " Did you get dressed in the cabin ? " I searched through the screens for stray fathers or more guys carrying trunks . " Yeah , " she said . " If you hurry , the coast is clear . " She watched the boardwalk while I changed into dry clothes . I also ditched the rubber thongs in favor of my hip leather sandals . " We drove up from South Bend , Indiana , " I said , hoping for more things in common . " Where are you from ? " " Dryden , New York . " She smiled wistfully . " We live in the country . There is a small lake in front of our house . We have ducks , and geese . " " Do you have any brothers or sisters ? " Nancy answered all the questions I put to her about Dryden while the other beds in the cabin filled up . Their faces have grown vague over the years , as well as the face of our counselor , Leslie , but I still remember their names , Corrine , Mindy , and Franny . Leslie coordinated introductions then herded us out the door to assemble with the rest of the campers around the flagpole . A creosote log , more of a telephone pole than an actual flagpole , anchored a thick cotton version of the ' Stars and Stripes ' . It flapped noisily in the ever - present breeze . Corrine , Mindy and Franny dispersed into the group to find friends from different cabins while Nancy and I stuck together like glue . I counted roughly forty girls in our circle , some as young as eight and others as old as seventeen . Without warning , a handful of them started singing . They punched each note wildly and loudly . " Who makes this stuff up ? " I whispered to Nancy , loving her soft , encouraging laughter . My sister waved from across the circle . She stood near the oldest girls . I couldn 't take my eyes off them . Infinitely above reproach , they whispered among themselves , casually at ease in their dangling wire earrings , painted nails , low hip huggers , wide macramé belts , skimpy triangle halters , bare tanned midriffs , and full figures . I would be entering high school in a year and envisioned vast halls full of such girls . I wanted to be one of them . I imagined they protested the immature song . So I held my silence and protested it too . I loved music , all kinds , and had been told my voice was nice , but I didn 't believe anyone older than me would want to sing this blather . It belonged in my mom 's pre - school . The pandemonium expanded as more campers joined in . Eventually my newly anointed idols added their voices to the fray , carrying on and having fun . A couple of them actually dispersed through the circle to teach others ! Even Nancy joined in ! I couldn 't find a single scornful , arrogant protestor akin to the mute , cool kids in my 8th grade chorus . Happily amazed , I tried to sing along . In preparation for a radio interview I gave last month , I was asked to list some of the lessons in Memory Lake . Of course , I 'd prefer readers discover them on their own because they are woven into the novel , but that would not make ' good radio ' . So , to meet that challenge , I compiled the six main lessons of Memory Lake : I haven 't slept in a cabin in almost four decades since my last year at camp . The prospect of doing so in late September in Northern Michigan did not appeal to me . But that 's how this camp reunion was shaping up and I had already booked my non - refundable flight . I felt confident of a good time , even if none of my camp friends had signed up , because I traveled with ' Lathe ' . We call her ' Lathe ' because otherwise she 'd be another Susan . She coordinated our flights from Northern Virginia and made sure I shared her cabin . Lathe is a board member , ( one of those mysterious ladies behind the scenes ) , and we had attended camp together all those years ago . Lathe looked up to me , perhaps , ( probably not ) , because I had been a Counselor in Training when she 'd been a camper . Since she decided to sleep in an unheated cabin , and I look up to her now , I decided I should sleep in one too . And , I wanted to prove to my husband that I could rough it , ( never mind the actual bed and cabin ) , and I wanted to prove to myself that I really had learned all those great life - changing lessons in Memory Lake . I bought a sub - zero sleeping bag from REI and a high - tech down coat and packed flannels and wool socks . The first night , Lake Michigan raged below the cliff and a cold wind whipped through gaps along the shuttered screens . My nose dripped through the tiny gap of my zipper 's opening . I tried to fall asleep but mostly I held stiff and rigid on the plastic mattress covered in a towel . I imagined snow drifted against the back of the cabin . " Do I have to go to the bathroom ? " I wondered , taking a body check in the dark . " No , I can wait . " Time passed slowly and painfully . " No , I can 't wait , " I decided . I unzipped the sleeping bag from toes to shoulders . Its high - pitched rip roared like an alarm clock . No one stirred from the rows of bunks , but I imagined having awakened them all . I donned my down jacket , which I had been using as a pillow , slipped into my Keens , and tried to tip - toe down the aisle toward the door in complete darkness . I unlatched the metal hook , ( more unbearable noise , ) and braced for an arctic blast . A balmy breeze hit me . As I darted for the bug light outside the bath house , I wondered , greatly annoyed , why it seemed so darn cold in the cabin ! I repeated this same noisy routine two more times before dawn . Far too early , someone hit the cabin light . " Dips , " a voice whispered . My bed had finally become warm , cozy , and comfortable and I did not want to move . When I emerged from my mummy bag , all the beds were lifeless except the one nearest the door . Ellie stood beside her foot - high pile of blankets hauled to camp in her car . She raised her eyebrows at me and the unsavory task ahead ; getting into swim gear . She rushed , so I rushed , because we couldn 't miss dips . Lathe was out there . Everyone was out there . I wanted to ask her how many times she got up , if she had heard me , and if she had slept at all . We stepped from the cabin into the rising heat of the sun . Ellie deadpanned , " It 's winter on the other side of this cabin , you know . " I laughed , feeling the same sort of relief as I had my first year at camp , decades earlier , when I 'd met the other ' Nancy ' . Except , Ellie was more like another ' me ' . Lathe was her ' Nancy ' , the best friend and perfect camper who kept her in line . As we stood on the cabin stoop and stared into the woods where the 100 wooden steps descended to the freezing lake , Ellie droned , " Well , let 's get down there so everyone can see us . " During the reunion , I stuck near Ellie and she proved my theory ; every perfect camper needs an imperfect friend to balance out the universe . We were those imperfect campers . Ellie and I had amazingly similar memories . We dreaded council fires for not earning ' beads ' , though we happily watched our friends win awards . We always messed up in front of counselors or just missed that opportunity to be helpful . Our similar stories made us laugh from pure joy and gratefulness because we knew even as mediocre campers , we had developed confidence , leadership abilities , and hidden strengths by attending camp . Suzy , ( another imperfect camper ) , suggested we had actually reached perfect camper status because we attended camp reunions . She offered this bit of wisdom as she navigated our canoe down the Crystal River . ( Her mom had wisely put a ' z ' in her name to differentiate her from all the other Susans , and it worked once you knew the ' z ' was there . ) Suzy had been a camper in the Fifties . She so effectively linked our camp experiences , I now feel connected to the old camp . Suzy is how I imagine my mom would have been as a camper , and how she would be now , if she had lived . Marcia ( aka ' Robyn ' in Memory Lake ) ran the reunion and tried to keep us on some sort of schedule . ( Josh , our talented chef , really appreciated that . ) Honestly , Marcia 's dedication amazes me and I 'm still trying to live up to her expectations . " Since you 're the writer … , " she told me 15 minutes before ' skits ' on the first night , " Write some dialogue for us . Here 's the scenario … . " I spent ten minutes locating paper and pen . Frantically , I managed to eek something together and it actually drew laughter . Phew ! I suppose such feats are possible at camp because expectations run high yet everyone is easy to please . The rainy day turned out to be my favorite . We sipped hot tea and hung out in the heated arts and crafts shed amid a cozy atmosphere of creativity . Lathe , Kappy , Deb , Murph , some Susans , Diane , and Lee Ann wove complicated , intricate bracelets to rival boutique merchandise . Ellie and I hot - glued rocks to wooden picture frames . We didn 't even gather the rocks ourselves , I 'm embarrassed to say . Except , I did add a few tiny pebbles as fillers , purposely gathered on my exciting day of canoeing the Crystal River with Suzy . Thanks ladies , you have reminded me why I wrote Memory Lake . ( Now in its Second Edition with an authentic cover depicting Lake Michigan from the top of the Sleeping Bear Dunes ! ) Many thanks to the year - round staff of the Leelanau Outdoor Center ( LOC ) for making the week - end possible . " Spiritual development … propagates anew the higher joys of Spirit … . Each successive stage of experience unfolds new views of divine goodness and love . " Science & Health , BY Mary Baker Eddy . ( P . 66 ) TagsEmmet Fox , Flint , H . Emilie Cady , Lake St . Helen , Lessons in Truth , Mary Baker Eddy , Metaphysical , Michigan , tangible books , Truth Inscribe your favorite books , underline passages , and hold on to them . They will tell your children , and their children , more about you than any photo album . Thank goodness my mother never met a book too intimidating to write in , to bend a corner , to underline a passage , or scribble a thought . When she passed away in 2001 , at 64 , my step - dad boxed up her metaphysical book collection and sent it to my sister . Overwhelmed by memories , Susan sent the box to me . I hastily absorbed it into my collection of similar books Mom had given me over my adult life . Each one is packed full of wisdom . Every book is inscribed and many contain Mom 's left - handed scrawl of a random thought as she worked out its meaning . Mom had been raised Catholic . I often asked her why we were not Catholic , same as Nanny , Papa , my aunt , uncle and all our cousins . She confided a longing for something different at an early age due to a little book she had read as a teenager . She never mentioned the name of this book or where she had found it , only that it had changed her life . Recently , as I waited for my laptop to perform lengthy updates , a little book beckoned from the adjacent bookshelf . I marveled at its delicate binding and content pre - dating a similar book by the same author Mom had given me decades earlier . As I read her inscription inside the front cover , I realized this was the book . I had finally found it . Mom had penned , “… found in the book - case of the cottage my father , A . R . Mason , purchased on Lake St . Helen , in Michigan . This was approximately 1950 - 51 . It was my first introduction to truth and my constant quest to use these truths that make us free . Dorothy Ann Mason Lincoln . " Her father 's cottage is mentioned in Memory Lake as ' Papa 's cottage ' . This log summerhome on tiny Lake St . Helen , in Central Michigan , delivered a childhood of laughter , pranks , skits , and sunshine to my sister , my cousins , and me . I still dream of its artesian well , woven hammocks , rocky flower beds hiding fat night - crawlers , and the steep hill to the lake . Its musty interior held many more treasures ; a deer mount , faded upholstered furniture , bookshelves of hard - bound classics , and a defunct player - piano . When I was ten , Papa sold all of it upon learning he was terminally ill . Soon after , my sister and I began our years at summer camp . My mother was fourteen when her father bought the cottage fully furnished . She hadn 't liked the place at first . Bored and disgruntled to be spending the weekend at the lake , instead of at home with friends , I imagine she had knelt on the large woolen rug , wearing saddle shoes and bobby socks , to examine the bookshelf . There she had found this little book and began reading . Memory Lake is a ripple of this memory which continues to expand sixty - two years later . The little black book is inspiring , but not surprising because Mom had succeeded in her quest for truth and raised me on it . Instead , the surprise lies in the book 's existence . It held the capacity to sleep for decades without updates , conversions , or electricity to reveal a profound window to the past . I wonder , will someone find an e - reader sixty years from now with such a personal impact ? Most likely it will not power up . Inscribe your favorite books , underline passages , and hold on to them . They will tell your children , and their children , more about you than any photo album . * H . Emilie Cady is the little black book 's author and she is affiliated with Unity . This is not the church I attended , nor the church affiliated with the camp in Memory Lake , so it is a fun coincidence that she was from Dryden , New York , the same one stop - light hometown of my first friend at camp , and main character in Memory Lake , " Nancy Roman " . TagsDapine , Great Spirit , Lake Michigan , Made in Michigan , Manitou Island , Memory Lake , Michigan , North Manitou Island , Second Edition , Sleeping Bear Dunes , Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore , Tate Publishing , The Legend of Sleeping Bear , Wisconsin George Vieira 's interpretation of the old legend is well - written and faithfully crafted . He has graciously allowed me to re - post it . The dunes play a key role in " Memory Lake ; The Forever Friendships of Summer . " Tate Publishing is launching the Second Edition this month and the new cover is a view of Lake Michigan from the top of the dunes . You can see it on their website : http : / / www . tatepublishing . com / bookstore / book . php ? w = 978 - 1 - 62746 - 240 - 2 The wind breathes a song of ancient wisdom - only listen to the rattle of the ghost forest up on the dunes . It 's the story of Dapine , mother bear , proud parent of sharp claws and soft fur . Her cubs dancing on rolling Wisconsin plains , two brothers in the summer sun , animated by a boundless spirit . A bond unbreakable , unbelievable , takes us back to that terrible month when the sun hung too close to the Earth for too long . Day after day , the leaves curled and the grass progressively turned orange . The forest was brittle and dangerous . Then one night lightning struck and set a dry patch ablaze . As luck would have it a fierce wind howled and blew the flames higher and farther , until the flames towered over the forest animals . Instinctively , Dapine ran for Lake Michigan , that immortal body , her cubs racing behind her , tripping over their young , clumsy paws . Though safe in the calm , placid waters of the lake , she saw in the thick black smoke the desolation and starvation that awaited her cubs once the fire died . Where they 'd rolled and played and sweet honeycombs had bounded , charred nothingness would smolder . So Dapine swam , desperate , one stroke at a time , towards Michigan . The journey was long and difficult , and the young cubs struggled to keep up , panting , tongues agog . On the second night of their journey , a great storm whipped the lake into a panicked frenzy . Hail pelted their thick coats ; lightning made their fur stand on end . And somewhere in the wild waves she lost her cubs , their panicked faces illuminated by one last flash of light before being enveloped in permanent darkness . Dapine swam against the tide for many hours in search of her cubs . She cried out their names , desperate , painful screams full of sorrow . But no answer . Exhausted , she turned back the following morning for the northwest shore of Michigan . Drenched and tired , she finally pawed her way onto the promised beach . At last . The sky was deep and blue , the green expanse of trees swayed in the wind . There was food , shelter , and water . All Dapine could think of was her cubs . She felt little relief or happiness in having made it alive to Michigan . Day and night , she faithfully watched the endless waves hoping to catch a glimpse of her lost cubs . In her many , fevered dreams , there they were , safe and warm in the old den , gnawing on the fish bones held between their tiny claws . She quickly grew wane and emaciated , her hair falling out in tufts on the soft sand . Seeing Dapine , the Great Spirit was moved to tears by her story , from the veil of impartial observation to utmost mercy . As the earth shook and a hard rain fell , he raised two large landmasses above the waters of Lake Michigan in remembrance of Dapine 's cubs , North Manitou Island and South Manitou Island . He imbued the islands with their innocent energy , so that it would be a grand memorial to Dapine 's loss . She saw this , and like animals always do , knew right away what it meant . And so with heavy sigh , Dapine closed her eyes and slept by the waves . It was then she felt a sudden lightness , her soul hovering over her own body . Carried by the force of the Great Spirit , she ascended up beyond the worries of the world , where in the limitless sky her cubs hopped from cloud to cloud in excitement , reunited with their mother at last . Back down on earth , Dapine 's body turned to sand , more and more sand . In her place a great dune emerged , which from the Manitou Islands resembled a giant sleeping bear . The Great Spirit did this as a testament to the power of love , the story of Dapine and her cubs . Even today , the area is called the Sleeping Bear Dunes , and the story is written of on plaques and in books , never forgotten . TagsAmerican Camp Association , Camps , Government , Labor Day , Midwest , Northern Michigan , Opening Day , Parenting Magazine , Pawn Stars , Recreation , Rules , Safety , Sheridan Mountain Campus , summer vacation , United States , Virginia Summer vacation comes late to Virginia public schools . Today is their last day ; Tuesday , June 18th . KT always missed these final days of school so I could get her to Northern Michigan for camp 's Opening Day , which occurred for Midwest camps over the weekend . It was tough motivating her toward perfect attendance all year , knowing this conflict loomed . I always felt guilty about her missing school , although the only real lesson imparted these last few days is that government is inflexible . Yes , I know we need rules . They keep us safe , calm and civil . But kids should have different rules shortly after Memorial Day . When we moved here from Nebraska twenty years ago , I noticed an increased government presence . The crossing guards impressed me most of all . They are police department employees through the Crossing Guard Bureau . They wear spiffy white caps , official badges , WHITE gloves , and they will not hesitate to put their lives in peril to stop traffic . Some of the streets are quite busy . All the commuters are angry and impatient . Most notably , Virginia is HOT in June , especially when standing in the sun on asphalt . I assumed the guards vacationed over the summer until I chatted with Marietta yesterday . She enters pawn tickets into the police department data base between assignments . Hmmm … they never mention this on Pawn Stars . Perhaps it would deter customers if they knew . More government . More rules . More protection . I forgot to ask Marietta if the gloves come off for this . It 's not too late to rescue your kids from a summer of home rules , city dangers , and government protections . You can still send them to camp , especially if you live in Virginia * . Go to the American Camp Association website , search for the best fit , and have the fortitude to send them . Pawn them away from your television and their game consoles . Send them into nature . They will be safe . And , they will return to you much improved .
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Camping . It is a lot of hard work . A lot of preparations . And a lot of effort to get the campsite in a live able environment . To only take it down two days later when you camp over a weekend . . . But we said again that we should do it more often . It is a necessity to get out more in nature . Especially for us city dwellers . The toddler enjoyed it enormously . Ten months back when we went camping with her , it was a struggle because she wanted to be entertained and held the whole time . But now she enjoyed the tent , and walking , and playing with friends , and swimming , and looking at the ponies . . . Sleeping was a breeze . The toddler was exhausted after all the excitement of the days , and we did not struggle at all during the night . Dries and I struggled with mattresses , and blankets , and the heat . . . But what is camping when you can 't complain of something the next day ? ( Sarcastic smile ! ) The teen does not share our enthusiasm for camping . I can 't blame her . When I was her age , I also did not like the idea of camping . I now call her the " reluctant camper " ! The weather played along . I was worried on Friday about rain , but we had sunshine and blue skies ! The things you do for fundraisers ! The teen and the French tour of the French class next is year is becoming more of a reality . The first payment needs to be made , and the budget is tight ! And the tour gets more expensive it seems as the bookings are being made … We organized a fundraiser with a local Spur ( steak ranch ) in our area . The French students had to shadow with the waiter , and they got 10 % of the proceeds of the evening . Some got nice tips as well … I can recommend it to anyone . No stressing about selling of tickets before the time like we did with the Barnyard fundraiser earlier . The students had a great time . They had a new experience as well learning about working in a restaurant . The teen 's waiter told us that she is a quick learner , and that she did very well for her first evening as a waiter . The toddler kept us busy because she discovered the play area , and Dad especially had to follow that pointy finger ! She was awake until nine when we left , but slept the minute the car was moving ! Which is of course a very nice bonus for any evening ! The parents enjoyed the whole evening as well ! We had a lovely meal and could catch up with friends again … What do you recommend doing for a fundraiser that does not involve too much stress ? The worst time of day during the week is when you arrive home at half past four . The house is in a bit of a mess after we left it in a whirl in the morning . That needs some cleaning and straightening , and dinner needs to be prepared . Add a tired mother and a clingy demanding toddler and it gets a bit tricky . . . I found myself last week screaming talking very loud when the toddler as usual was " washing dishes " with me . She was wet and the floor was wet . . . I saw the look of utter amazement of her face when I lost my cool ! " What 's the matter , Mom ? " or , more specifically " WTF ? " " What is the BIG deal ? " CodeNameMama had a great article about awareness in anger last week . It came at exactly the right time ! To become aware of the anger , to know where it is coming from , and to channel it correctly . . . I did things differently from there ! When the toddler wants to wash dishes with me , it is totally okay . I have decided not to freak out ! What is a bit of water in the greater scheme of things ? We take off her clothes for the duration of the washing session , and put it back on afterwards . And then dry the floor as well ! It is not a train smash ! The biggest bonus ! The playing with the water keeps the toddler occupied for a relative long period . Enough to get the dishwasher unpacked , and the dinner started . . . Nowadays we have to think twice about where we are going . We try to not let the toddler influence our decisions , but she does ! And it 's fine for now . This too will pass ! We can take the teen anywhere ! ( Wink - wink ! ) We know it will only be for a short while . . . I had a bit of a bad experience with the toddler and her tantrums at the hairdresser on Friday . The teen went for a special deal at a new place . There were only two chairs to sit in , and one of the chairs had a Halloween spider web draped over it , and we were warned that it could get stuck in our hair . The toddler was afraid of the toy spiders in the web . So we couldn 't sit there , and the toddler wanted to walk around . . . ( We are so not going to that hairdresser again ! Not only was their service and hair cutting very poor , but they are definitely not in the business of people . . . ) I had to drive home with the toddler , and go and fetch the teen later . I thought the T - dance was not so bad , but there was definitely a meltdown in that shop . . . Ever felt a bit red - faced when leaving with a screaming toddler ? That was it on Friday for me ! Yesterday we went for breakfast at Rusty Hook , very near to our " valley " . The toddler enjoyed looking and feeding the ducks and birds . We have some overcast weather here , but no real rain yet ! Who would have thought that we could miss the rain so much ! The toddler had lots of fun putting stickers on her Dad . Who knew that a sticker book can bring so many hours of keeping - the - toddler - busy ? A sticker book is now a standard item in the nappy bag , not only the nappies . 1 . Nappies ! Check . 2 . Stickers ! Check . The big thing is ; we do not let the toddler limit us going to places . We need to get out , and the toddler needs to learn how to behave in different situations . The toddler also enjoys any activity , and even more when we point out interesting things to look at . Interesting can be anything from birds , to insects , to cars to motorcycles . . . As long as we enjoy making her aware of it ! She enjoys it even more ! Luckily there were not that Posted by It is very cute watching the little ones . We were focused on our toddler , as were the other parents on theirs . . . But all the children are a pleasure to watch ! Our toddler gave us some inclination of the dances and songs before the time . It is hands and arms and going down with her bum to the ground . . . I also now understand her fascination with the moon . Their songs are " I see the moon " and " Blinkoog sterretjie " ( Shiny Star ) . The toddler went into a small little jiggle every now and again on stage , and remembered sometimes to put up her hands . She also did a lot of clapping of her hands . We were amazed at how they got the whole group of children to stay in one spot the whole time . Impressive ! We are still waiting for the photos and the DVD , and I will post a photo later . We did not see as much as we could have , because I took a bit too long before I bought the tickets . That meant we were stuck at the back in the middle . And there are over zealous parents who had their cameras and video recorders up in front of us . . . ( Waiting for that DVD now ! ) I am not into Stork Parties at all ! It is one of my pet hates . Is there something wrong with me ? Having to go to a function where you mostly do not know the rest of the women . Where you have to Oooh ! and Aaah ! at every little present being unwrapped and at the cute baby clothes and gadgets being held up . And having to listen to horrendous birth stories … And then getting yourself terribly uptight when you are not being acknowledged for a present you put a lot of effort into selecting … ( I am fickle that way ! ) I have started to compile a list on how to survive it , ( and actually enjoy it ) . Because sometimes you have to go because it is a dear friend or family member … To have valid reasons for declining the invitation . The following are totally acceptable and should be made law ! You don 't have to say anything when saying you can 't come : - When you have had a miscarriage . 2 . It is great when there is somebody familiar to start a conversation with . Or make a new friend ! You can catch up while the proceedings are underway . 4 . To cope with the horrendous birth stories , tell your own , and make it as gruesome as possible ! Enjoy the look of horror on the face of the pregnant woman . ( You are bad , Karen ! ) I am joining Mommy Only Has Two Hands in her going down memory lane Thursday Blog H p . Go and check her rules when you want to join n . Today the toddler is 22 mont s . I know I say every time she can 't get cuter than his , but she do s ! We are really enjoying the little person she is becomi The vocabulary is coming along very well . I was worried at one stage , but she says a lot more than we are able to understand . She stands in front of us and give us a whole blast of words ! We hear babble , but sometimes we catch a recognisable word . The head nods very seriously while she tells her whole " story " ! ( CUTE ! ) We get feedback from the school that she hits and bites some of her class mates . I feel terrible about it ! We try to talk to her . I do hope that it is a passing phase . . . When I leave her at day care in the mornings , she 's got a new thing . She does not want to kiss me , but immediately turns her head when I put her in the arms of a teacher . Then she looks out of the window until I pass on the outside and she waves to me . She smiles and she waves . . . That helps me a lot during my working day . . . She was sick again from the weekend . Nose and ears and eyes ! Nothing new ! I had her at the doctor today , and now we are throwing drops in all of the " openings " . Not a favourite thing for the toddler ! The doctor says that Johannesburg is the worst place for children with regards the pollution . That 's why we struggle so much with the allergies . The fact that it does not rain , makes it even worse . . . My guest post about the toddler who loves running around naked is up at Authentic Parenting . Go check it out . Mieka , our toddler , loves unbuttoning and unzipping her clothes and taking it all of . To try to put it back on immediately afterwards . Or simply just running around in the nude is a great pass time . . . What are your thoughts about letting your toddler roam around in the nude ? We pushed the toddler , and for the most part she was happy to sit for the ride . I had registered us for 5 km , but when we got our numbers back it was indicated we were up for the 8 km . When we came to the split during the walk , we decided on the longer route . It was a good exercise as well . I am proud of us ! The motto to remember " " Early detection saves lives ! " The teen and I had a bit of a scare last year when she did a breast examination and she found a lump . It turned out to be a fibroadenoma , and the gynaecologist confirmed this year that it is nothing to be worried about . . . But we had a big scare ! I can just imagine when you realize the lump is SOMETHING to worry about . . . Time for the soapbox again . There is nothing that upsets me more than a house where there is domestic violence . It can take so many forms , but you know in your heart something is wrong when you are scared going back to your own home ! When there is somebody that makes you being afraid for your own and your children 's welfare . Two bloggers have spoken out his week . Kristin at Wanderlust in Australia found herself in such a situation that she was frozen into silence for two months . But she decided to speak out , because she realized that by keeping quiet she is relinquishing her own power . Her family have been subjected to real physical violence , and they haven 't seen her husband since . . . She writes a very powerful post about domestic violence and her realization that it is all about being in control . Closer to home Melany at SuperMom also spoke about her fear for her son being targeted by emotional abuse . . . It is very upsetting to hear such stories ! It also touches me deeply because I was in such a situation in my previous life ! Someone controlling your whole life ! Someone who demands that the world revolves around himself . But he does not take responsibility for his actions / inactions on the rest of the family . When he realizes he is losing control , and trying to keep it by threatening your existence . . . More than ten years later and I still get the jitters when thinking about it . Especially when my own daughter is too afraid to even ask her own Dad for a signature . . . Even today it makes me very angry ! I am proud of mothers / women standing up by speaking out , saying " Enough ! " Bath time is at 7pm . When we announce bath - time , she says " bye " and starts climbing the stairs . I have learnt not to say anything about bathing when I am not ready . Or there is drama ! We undress her in her room , and she wants to take her dirty clothes herself to the washing basket . She has to throw in the clothes herself . Every - time ! I have to dry her while she lies on her stomach and I rub her back in massage - like movements . Whenever I try to dry her while holding her on my lap , she complains . Sleep at 8pm . When we announce bed - time , she immediately starts to say goodnight . Dad AND the dog gets kisses and a hug as well . We " read " two books which she has selected , and she closes it herself . " Klaar ! " is her declaration that she has finished reading . She breastfeeds until she falls asleep ! - The toddler drinks her bottle while lying in her doughnut . The doughnut is the doughnut shaped floor mattress which has lost most of its sponges and does not look as " healthy " as it once was . But the toddler wants to drink her bottle in the thing . Every - time ! - Whenever she sees any one of us near the kitchen zinc she wants to help " wash " the dishes . We have to explain time and again every night we are not washing dishes right that moment . . . Until we wash it , and she happily " helps " us by pouring water from the tap into bottles until it overflows . Habits are a very important part of how the toddler takes control of her life ! We have to smile at some of the habits she insists on doing every time ! I love the way we all accommodate these little behaviours . It is sooo precious ! The teen and her boyfriend celebrated their one year anniversary on Sunday . A year ago I was worried about the teen being in love . They proved me wrong . I should not have been worried ! One year for young love at seventeen is not bad ! The teen spent a lot of planning and thought around the day . Lots of thought went into the present as well . Chocolates and nuts and some sweet smelling stuff ! She also spent a lot of time working on the card ! They had their own private picnic with Woollies goodies . She was super excited about the present she got back ; a large fluffy dog ! Aaahhh , love ! The best time of your life ! We like the boyfriend as well . It seems he treats her exceptionally well ! She / we does not expect anything less ! I know she is able to look after herself , and to set her own boundaries . We think some of the things the toddler do are very strange , but apparently there is nothing abnormal about any of the behaviours . I was just reading Baby Zone , and now I won 't be thinking again that we have an abnormal toddler . Everything goes in Toddlerville ! The toddler and swimmingThe toddler enjoyed " swimming " this weekend . NOT in her baby pool , but next to it . Playing with water and containers of any sort is the best toddler activity EVER ! Notice the potty . It has not been used yet for what it is supposed to be doing … The toddler had a ball drinking the water from the pool . She was carrying it to and from the pool , and pouring the water in other containers again . The toddler is scared of the thunderWe had some thunder and lightning and some quick showers here . We get very excited , because it signals the start of our summer rains . It is very dry on this side of the world . But the toddler is not impressed . She gets very scared . We noticed last night that she quickly came to sit next to us , and the next moment she was on my lap . We noticed that she had her eyes closed , and she would not open it again while the thunder was going on . It was some sort of blessing , because I soothed her by breastfeeding her and she went to sleep for the night ! Poor thing ! We will keep trying to tell her that it is not something to be afraid of , because it signals the rain for us … . Ready for church ! We were just settled in when we smelt the recognizable pooh . Dries undertook the " very desirable " job of changing the nappy . ( Great Hubby here ! ) A day in the toddler : " Hi , you can 't believe the day I had today ! Mom had to wake me up , and I did not want to open my eyes . Myer at school gave me such a headache . He pestered me the whole time . I wanted to tell Mom and Sis when they came to fetch me , but all I could muster was " Meya , Myea , Meya … " It was raining , and Mom had to run with me with an umbrella . I think it was quite a big deal , because Mom was singing and laughing while the rain made everything wet . Yes , yes , yes … ( nodding ) Dad was working late . I wanted to walk around in the nude , but Mom said I could only help her with the dishes when I had my clothes on again . I got everything wet , but that was the highlight of my day ! I wanted to play more in Arnia 's room , but she was very busy . I don 't think it was homework ; it was that card for the boyfriend she is working on . They are going out for a year now ! Bath - time was nice , but I got upset with all the thunder ! Mom had to take me out of the bath and cuddle me for a while . I was very glad when Dad arrived , and we could play with the crayons for a while . What a day ! Bye ! Bye ! " I went back to last year 's blog post on 7 October 2009 . A year ago we were worried about our baby starting to walk while she did not crawl first . She only did the bum - shuffle or the crab creep . She was nearly ten months old . She finally walked at 13 months , skipping the crawl ! Mieka has not started to crawl yet , and it seems she is not going to . All she wants to do at this stage is walk , with us having to walk with her . She also enjoys the walking ring , but her favourite way of moving around now is walking while being held . Whenever we put her down on her stomach , she freezes in the position , with her arms straight , and complains . She only stops when we pull her up again . How do you get a baby to crawl , when she wants to walk already ? I can imagine years of extra maths classes because she has skipped the important crawling phase in her development … Why worry ? We will deal with that later ! Now we are the enablers in her horizontal quest ! I think she is super intelligent , and does not need to go through all the phases . ( Says the proud mom wink - wink ) Overrated , the crawling thing , I say now ! We are dealing with the crawling in the little gymnastics . There are better things to worry about . . . I saw a discussion on Mommaliscious Mamma 's about the naming of private parts . I find it very interesting that people are still teaching their children funny or cutesy names . The following came up : I did a quick search on Google , and saw that most of the search returned top for the use of appropriate names . We taught the teen appropriate names when she was small , 15 years back . " Vagina " and " Penis " were the only names she knew , and she had no hang - ups about it . She came to tell me a few times about children that use strange names , and it had everybody guessing for a while at the crèche . Names also like " paddatjie " ( froggie ) , if I remember correctly . I believe that it is much easier to make no issue about it , and to name any part of the body as correctly as possible . Badparenting believes it is a bad parenting technique , because toddlers can embarrass you when you expect it the least . Funny ! ( I 've found it helps to keep a straight face … ) A family member teaches her sons about " verkeerde plekkies " ( wrong places ) . When the Survivor series was on , the survivors were eating " verkeerde plekkies " of animals , according to them . What do the funny names teach our children ? That a normal part of their anatomy is not normal , and somehow " wrong " ! No ! We are teaching the toddler the appropriate names . There 's enough for her to cope with already , and not to struggle with figuring out why there is strange names for some body parts . Hopefully not to end up with sexual hang - ups … Who would have thought that breastfeeding your toddler is such a pleasure ? You don 't contemplate going past that first few weeks breastfeeding , and then you pat yourself on the back after the first six weeks . We are now past 21 weeks , and the two year goal post is around the corner . It has gone by too quickly ! I also treasure breastfeeding much more because she is my last baby . Boo - hoo ! That is also something to feel nostalgic about . . . Being an older mom does not have any impact on breastfeeding as such , but I do think that it makes me treasure it even more . Some precious moments when breastfeeding ( BF ) : The toddler announces she wants some " Boo - Boo " when she wants to BF . ( The " Boo - Boo " comes from " booby " ) I also ask her : Do you want some " Mama 's milk ? " She knows when she wants it , or not . Sometimes the bottle gets preference . There is nothing as special as going to sleep with her , BF in my arms . BF at night saves us lots of energy and time . She goes back to sleep in no time . Translated : we goes back to sleep in no time . ( At this stage it happens about once or sometimes just before the alarm bell goes at five in the morning . ) We get lots of special eye contact when she BF . That big special eyes looking so innocently at you - I always try to smile , and reassure her , and BEING with her in the moment ! She points to the other breast , and asks " Boo - Boo " ? I have to acknowledge each and every time : " Yes , it 's Mama 's Boo - Boo . " ( Establishing the own identity ? ) She wants to shift regularly from one breast to the other . I can 't get her to keep on nursing on one breast when she has made up her mind to change . ( Smile ) One " irritating " thing - she loves holding and poking the other nipple while BF . I saw that it is quite a common thing with toddlers . It makes it even more difficult to BF in public . We don 't even try BF in public nowadays , because the blanket is a no - go . She just throws it off . And she does not BF in one go . No , it is sip - sip , asking a question , looking around , sip - sip againPosted by Tiny Tumbles gymnastics . The toddler did not want to play along yesterday at the gymnastics class . She is not sick , and she feels fine . But for some reason she wants to do her own thing . She wants to look out of the window rather than take part in any of the exercises . She does not want to walk in a straight line on the rope . She wants to pick it up . She does not want to jump on the balls , but she wants to carry it around like handbags . She does not want to move the lint up and down , or in circles . She wants to take it off the stick . Or wraps it around her arm . But she enjoyed being moved from side to side on a big ball . Some days are just one of those days . The toddler is allowed her " Being Otherwise " days ! Why not ? We all need " Being Otherwise " days some days , don 't we ? Related posts : Wordless Wednesday # 40 - Littlest gymnasticsSaturday gymnastics The toddler goes into tantrum meltdown a couple of times a day . I like to call it the T - dance . The face goes into a wail . She stamps her feet . The very LOUD shriek ! Shame ! It must be so very frustrating not to be able to communicate . Or to find that not everything goes according to " Toddler " ! The toddler begins to realize that her universe does not revolve around herself . . . Come to think of it . . . It must be a huge shock ! We try mostly to redirect her attention . As soon as she is focused on something else , all is well again . It usually happens within a split second ! At the moment she loves " washing the dishes " with us . As soon as she sees that one of us is busy in the kitchen , she starts by moving the foot rest that we usually use for her to stand on . When we try to tell her that we are not busy washing the dishes , she goes into the T - dance . But when we start playing ball with her , or show her the horsey to ride on , all is well again . . . I do not think the tantrums are such a problem that everybody says it is . Maybe we are lucky that Mieka does not go into complete meltdown . A friend complains that her son hits his head against the wall ! That sounds a bit scary . We try not to let her T - dance for too long before we help her to focus her attention on something else . I think that is a good way of dealing with the Tantrum ! We tell her " No ! " , and " That 's not nice ! " We don 't give her a hiding or discipline her in any other way when she has a tantrum . I don 't think it is necessary , and so far it has worked ! Working Mom over 40 , ignoring the 50 ! Toddler turned Grade 3 Schooler . Add the eldest working sister in her twenties . Remarried . Vegetarian in a meat - eating household . Juggling the rat race in Johannesburg . Attached to my iPhone and iPad . Technology changing parenting and Education ! Loving it !
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Camping . It is a lot of hard work . A lot of preparations . And a lot of effort to get the campsite in a live able environment . To only take it down two days later when you camp over a weekend . . . But we said again that we should do it more often . It is a necessity to get out more in nature . Especially for us city dwellers . The toddler enjoyed it enormously . Ten months back when we went camping with her , it was a struggle because she wanted to be entertained and held the whole time . But now she enjoyed the tent , and walking , and playing with friends , and swimming , and looking at the ponies . . . Sleeping was a breeze . The toddler was exhausted after all the excitement of the days , and we did not struggle at all during the night . Dries and I struggled with mattresses , and blankets , and the heat . . . But what is camping when you can 't complain of something the next day ? ( Sarcastic smile ! ) The teen does not share our enthusiasm for camping . I can 't blame her . When I was her age , I also did not like the idea of camping . I now call her the " reluctant camper " ! The weather played along . I was worried on Friday about rain , but we had sunshine and blue skies ! The things you do for fundraisers ! The teen and the French tour of the French class next is year is becoming more of a reality . The first payment needs to be made , and the budget is tight ! And the tour gets more expensive it seems as the bookings are being made … We organized a fundraiser with a local Spur ( steak ranch ) in our area . The French students had to shadow with the waiter , and they got 10 % of the proceeds of the evening . Some got nice tips as well … I can recommend it to anyone . No stressing about selling of tickets before the time like we did with the Barnyard fundraiser earlier . The students had a great time . They had a new experience as well learning about working in a restaurant . The teen 's waiter told us that she is a quick learner , and that she did very well for her first evening as a waiter . The toddler kept us busy because she discovered the play area , and Dad especially had to follow that pointy finger ! She was awake until nine when we left , but slept the minute the car was moving ! Which is of course a very nice bonus for any evening ! The parents enjoyed the whole evening as well ! We had a lovely meal and could catch up with friends again … What do you recommend doing for a fundraiser that does not involve too much stress ? The worst time of day during the week is when you arrive home at half past four . The house is in a bit of a mess after we left it in a whirl in the morning . That needs some cleaning and straightening , and dinner needs to be prepared . Add a tired mother and a clingy demanding toddler and it gets a bit tricky . . . I found myself last week screaming talking very loud when the toddler as usual was " washing dishes " with me . She was wet and the floor was wet . . . I saw the look of utter amazement of her face when I lost my cool ! " What 's the matter , Mom ? " or , more specifically " WTF ? " " What is the BIG deal ? " CodeNameMama had a great article about awareness in anger last week . It came at exactly the right time ! To become aware of the anger , to know where it is coming from , and to channel it correctly . . . I did things differently from there ! When the toddler wants to wash dishes with me , it is totally okay . I have decided not to freak out ! What is a bit of water in the greater scheme of things ? We take off her clothes for the duration of the washing session , and put it back on afterwards . And then dry the floor as well ! It is not a train smash ! The biggest bonus ! The playing with the water keeps the toddler occupied for a relative long period . Enough to get the dishwasher unpacked , and the dinner started . . . Nowadays we have to think twice about where we are going . We try to not let the toddler influence our decisions , but she does ! And it 's fine for now . This too will pass ! We can take the teen anywhere ! ( Wink - wink ! ) We know it will only be for a short while . . . I had a bit of a bad experience with the toddler and her tantrums at the hairdresser on Friday . The teen went for a special deal at a new place . There were only two chairs to sit in , and one of the chairs had a Halloween spider web draped over it , and we were warned that it could get stuck in our hair . The toddler was afraid of the toy spiders in the web . So we couldn 't sit there , and the toddler wanted to walk around . . . ( We are so not going to that hairdresser again ! Not only was their service and hair cutting very poor , but they are definitely not in the business of people . . . ) I had to drive home with the toddler , and go and fetch the teen later . I thought the T - dance was not so bad , but there was definitely a meltdown in that shop . . . Ever felt a bit red - faced when leaving with a screaming toddler ? That was it on Friday for me ! Yesterday we went for breakfast at Rusty Hook , very near to our " valley " . The toddler enjoyed looking and feeding the ducks and birds . We have some overcast weather here , but no real rain yet ! Who would have thought that we could miss the rain so much ! The toddler had lots of fun putting stickers on her Dad . Who knew that a sticker book can bring so many hours of keeping - the - toddler - busy ? A sticker book is now a standard item in the nappy bag , not only the nappies . 1 . Nappies ! Check . 2 . Stickers ! Check . The big thing is ; we do not let the toddler limit us going to places . We need to get out , and the toddler needs to learn how to behave in different situations . The toddler also enjoys any activity , and even more when we point out interesting things to look at . Interesting can be anything from birds , to insects , to cars to motorcycles . . . As long as we enjoy making her aware of it ! She enjoys it even more ! Luckily there were not that Posted by It is very cute watching the little ones . We were focused on our toddler , as were the other parents on theirs . . . But all the children are a pleasure to watch ! Our toddler gave us some inclination of the dances and songs before the time . It is hands and arms and going down with her bum to the ground . . . I also now understand her fascination with the moon . Their songs are " I see the moon " and " Blinkoog sterretjie " ( Shiny Star ) . The toddler went into a small little jiggle every now and again on stage , and remembered sometimes to put up her hands . She also did a lot of clapping of her hands . We were amazed at how they got the whole group of children to stay in one spot the whole time . Impressive ! We are still waiting for the photos and the DVD , and I will post a photo later . We did not see as much as we could have , because I took a bit too long before I bought the tickets . That meant we were stuck at the back in the middle . And there are over zealous parents who had their cameras and video recorders up in front of us . . . ( Waiting for that DVD now ! ) I am not into Stork Parties at all ! It is one of my pet hates . Is there something wrong with me ? Having to go to a function where you mostly do not know the rest of the women . Where you have to Oooh ! and Aaah ! at every little present being unwrapped and at the cute baby clothes and gadgets being held up . And having to listen to horrendous birth stories … And then getting yourself terribly uptight when you are not being acknowledged for a present you put a lot of effort into selecting … ( I am fickle that way ! ) I have started to compile a list on how to survive it , ( and actually enjoy it ) . Because sometimes you have to go because it is a dear friend or family member … To have valid reasons for declining the invitation . The following are totally acceptable and should be made law ! You don 't have to say anything when saying you can 't come : - When you have had a miscarriage . 2 . It is great when there is somebody familiar to start a conversation with . Or make a new friend ! You can catch up while the proceedings are underway . 4 . To cope with the horrendous birth stories , tell your own , and make it as gruesome as possible ! Enjoy the look of horror on the face of the pregnant woman . ( You are bad , Karen ! ) I am joining Mommy Only Has Two Hands in her going down memory lane Thursday Blog H p . Go and check her rules when you want to join n . Today the toddler is 22 mont s . I know I say every time she can 't get cuter than his , but she do s ! We are really enjoying the little person she is becomi The vocabulary is coming along very well . I was worried at one stage , but she says a lot more than we are able to understand . She stands in front of us and give us a whole blast of words ! We hear babble , but sometimes we catch a recognisable word . The head nods very seriously while she tells her whole " story " ! ( CUTE ! ) We get feedback from the school that she hits and bites some of her class mates . I feel terrible about it ! We try to talk to her . I do hope that it is a passing phase . . . When I leave her at day care in the mornings , she 's got a new thing . She does not want to kiss me , but immediately turns her head when I put her in the arms of a teacher . Then she looks out of the window until I pass on the outside and she waves to me . She smiles and she waves . . . That helps me a lot during my working day . . . She was sick again from the weekend . Nose and ears and eyes ! Nothing new ! I had her at the doctor today , and now we are throwing drops in all of the " openings " . Not a favourite thing for the toddler ! The doctor says that Johannesburg is the worst place for children with regards the pollution . That 's why we struggle so much with the allergies . The fact that it does not rain , makes it even worse . . . My guest post about the toddler who loves running around naked is up at Authentic Parenting . Go check it out . Mieka , our toddler , loves unbuttoning and unzipping her clothes and taking it all of . To try to put it back on immediately afterwards . Or simply just running around in the nude is a great pass time . . . What are your thoughts about letting your toddler roam around in the nude ? We pushed the toddler , and for the most part she was happy to sit for the ride . I had registered us for 5 km , but when we got our numbers back it was indicated we were up for the 8 km . When we came to the split during the walk , we decided on the longer route . It was a good exercise as well . I am proud of us ! The motto to remember " " Early detection saves lives ! " The teen and I had a bit of a scare last year when she did a breast examination and she found a lump . It turned out to be a fibroadenoma , and the gynaecologist confirmed this year that it is nothing to be worried about . . . But we had a big scare ! I can just imagine when you realize the lump is SOMETHING to worry about . . . Time for the soapbox again . There is nothing that upsets me more than a house where there is domestic violence . It can take so many forms , but you know in your heart something is wrong when you are scared going back to your own home ! When there is somebody that makes you being afraid for your own and your children 's welfare . Two bloggers have spoken out his week . Kristin at Wanderlust in Australia found herself in such a situation that she was frozen into silence for two months . But she decided to speak out , because she realized that by keeping quiet she is relinquishing her own power . Her family have been subjected to real physical violence , and they haven 't seen her husband since . . . She writes a very powerful post about domestic violence and her realization that it is all about being in control . Closer to home Melany at SuperMom also spoke about her fear for her son being targeted by emotional abuse . . . It is very upsetting to hear such stories ! It also touches me deeply because I was in such a situation in my previous life ! Someone controlling your whole life ! Someone who demands that the world revolves around himself . But he does not take responsibility for his actions / inactions on the rest of the family . When he realizes he is losing control , and trying to keep it by threatening your existence . . . More than ten years later and I still get the jitters when thinking about it . Especially when my own daughter is too afraid to even ask her own Dad for a signature . . . Even today it makes me very angry ! I am proud of mothers / women standing up by speaking out , saying " Enough ! " Bath time is at 7pm . When we announce bath - time , she says " bye " and starts climbing the stairs . I have learnt not to say anything about bathing when I am not ready . Or there is drama ! We undress her in her room , and she wants to take her dirty clothes herself to the washing basket . She has to throw in the clothes herself . Every - time ! I have to dry her while she lies on her stomach and I rub her back in massage - like movements . Whenever I try to dry her while holding her on my lap , she complains . Sleep at 8pm . When we announce bed - time , she immediately starts to say goodnight . Dad AND the dog gets kisses and a hug as well . We " read " two books which she has selected , and she closes it herself . " Klaar ! " is her declaration that she has finished reading . She breastfeeds until she falls asleep ! - The toddler drinks her bottle while lying in her doughnut . The doughnut is the doughnut shaped floor mattress which has lost most of its sponges and does not look as " healthy " as it once was . But the toddler wants to drink her bottle in the thing . Every - time ! - Whenever she sees any one of us near the kitchen zinc she wants to help " wash " the dishes . We have to explain time and again every night we are not washing dishes right that moment . . . Until we wash it , and she happily " helps " us by pouring water from the tap into bottles until it overflows . Habits are a very important part of how the toddler takes control of her life ! We have to smile at some of the habits she insists on doing every time ! I love the way we all accommodate these little behaviours . It is sooo precious ! The teen and her boyfriend celebrated their one year anniversary on Sunday . A year ago I was worried about the teen being in love . They proved me wrong . I should not have been worried ! One year for young love at seventeen is not bad ! The teen spent a lot of planning and thought around the day . Lots of thought went into the present as well . Chocolates and nuts and some sweet smelling stuff ! She also spent a lot of time working on the card ! They had their own private picnic with Woollies goodies . She was super excited about the present she got back ; a large fluffy dog ! Aaahhh , love ! The best time of your life ! We like the boyfriend as well . It seems he treats her exceptionally well ! She / we does not expect anything less ! I know she is able to look after herself , and to set her own boundaries . We think some of the things the toddler do are very strange , but apparently there is nothing abnormal about any of the behaviours . I was just reading Baby Zone , and now I won 't be thinking again that we have an abnormal toddler . Everything goes in Toddlerville ! The toddler and swimmingThe toddler enjoyed " swimming " this weekend . NOT in her baby pool , but next to it . Playing with water and containers of any sort is the best toddler activity EVER ! Notice the potty . It has not been used yet for what it is supposed to be doing … The toddler had a ball drinking the water from the pool . She was carrying it to and from the pool , and pouring the water in other containers again . The toddler is scared of the thunderWe had some thunder and lightning and some quick showers here . We get very excited , because it signals the start of our summer rains . It is very dry on this side of the world . But the toddler is not impressed . She gets very scared . We noticed last night that she quickly came to sit next to us , and the next moment she was on my lap . We noticed that she had her eyes closed , and she would not open it again while the thunder was going on . It was some sort of blessing , because I soothed her by breastfeeding her and she went to sleep for the night ! Poor thing ! We will keep trying to tell her that it is not something to be afraid of , because it signals the rain for us … . Ready for church ! We were just settled in when we smelt the recognizable pooh . Dries undertook the " very desirable " job of changing the nappy . ( Great Hubby here ! ) A day in the toddler : " Hi , you can 't believe the day I had today ! Mom had to wake me up , and I did not want to open my eyes . Myer at school gave me such a headache . He pestered me the whole time . I wanted to tell Mom and Sis when they came to fetch me , but all I could muster was " Meya , Myea , Meya … " It was raining , and Mom had to run with me with an umbrella . I think it was quite a big deal , because Mom was singing and laughing while the rain made everything wet . Yes , yes , yes … ( nodding ) Dad was working late . I wanted to walk around in the nude , but Mom said I could only help her with the dishes when I had my clothes on again . I got everything wet , but that was the highlight of my day ! I wanted to play more in Arnia 's room , but she was very busy . I don 't think it was homework ; it was that card for the boyfriend she is working on . They are going out for a year now ! Bath - time was nice , but I got upset with all the thunder ! Mom had to take me out of the bath and cuddle me for a while . I was very glad when Dad arrived , and we could play with the crayons for a while . What a day ! Bye ! Bye ! " I went back to last year 's blog post on 7 October 2009 . A year ago we were worried about our baby starting to walk while she did not crawl first . She only did the bum - shuffle or the crab creep . She was nearly ten months old . She finally walked at 13 months , skipping the crawl ! Mieka has not started to crawl yet , and it seems she is not going to . All she wants to do at this stage is walk , with us having to walk with her . She also enjoys the walking ring , but her favourite way of moving around now is walking while being held . Whenever we put her down on her stomach , she freezes in the position , with her arms straight , and complains . She only stops when we pull her up again . How do you get a baby to crawl , when she wants to walk already ? I can imagine years of extra maths classes because she has skipped the important crawling phase in her development … Why worry ? We will deal with that later ! Now we are the enablers in her horizontal quest ! I think she is super intelligent , and does not need to go through all the phases . ( Says the proud mom wink - wink ) Overrated , the crawling thing , I say now ! We are dealing with the crawling in the little gymnastics . There are better things to worry about . . . I saw a discussion on Mommaliscious Mamma 's about the naming of private parts . I find it very interesting that people are still teaching their children funny or cutesy names . The following came up : I did a quick search on Google , and saw that most of the search returned top for the use of appropriate names . We taught the teen appropriate names when she was small , 15 years back . " Vagina " and " Penis " were the only names she knew , and she had no hang - ups about it . She came to tell me a few times about children that use strange names , and it had everybody guessing for a while at the crèche . Names also like " paddatjie " ( froggie ) , if I remember correctly . I believe that it is much easier to make no issue about it , and to name any part of the body as correctly as possible . Badparenting believes it is a bad parenting technique , because toddlers can embarrass you when you expect it the least . Funny ! ( I 've found it helps to keep a straight face … ) A family member teaches her sons about " verkeerde plekkies " ( wrong places ) . When the Survivor series was on , the survivors were eating " verkeerde plekkies " of animals , according to them . What do the funny names teach our children ? That a normal part of their anatomy is not normal , and somehow " wrong " ! No ! We are teaching the toddler the appropriate names . There 's enough for her to cope with already , and not to struggle with figuring out why there is strange names for some body parts . Hopefully not to end up with sexual hang - ups … Who would have thought that breastfeeding your toddler is such a pleasure ? You don 't contemplate going past that first few weeks breastfeeding , and then you pat yourself on the back after the first six weeks . We are now past 21 weeks , and the two year goal post is around the corner . It has gone by too quickly ! I also treasure breastfeeding much more because she is my last baby . Boo - hoo ! That is also something to feel nostalgic about . . . Being an older mom does not have any impact on breastfeeding as such , but I do think that it makes me treasure it even more . Some precious moments when breastfeeding ( BF ) : The toddler announces she wants some " Boo - Boo " when she wants to BF . ( The " Boo - Boo " comes from " booby " ) I also ask her : Do you want some " Mama 's milk ? " She knows when she wants it , or not . Sometimes the bottle gets preference . There is nothing as special as going to sleep with her , BF in my arms . BF at night saves us lots of energy and time . She goes back to sleep in no time . Translated : we goes back to sleep in no time . ( At this stage it happens about once or sometimes just before the alarm bell goes at five in the morning . ) We get lots of special eye contact when she BF . That big special eyes looking so innocently at you - I always try to smile , and reassure her , and BEING with her in the moment ! She points to the other breast , and asks " Boo - Boo " ? I have to acknowledge each and every time : " Yes , it 's Mama 's Boo - Boo . " ( Establishing the own identity ? ) She wants to shift regularly from one breast to the other . I can 't get her to keep on nursing on one breast when she has made up her mind to change . ( Smile ) One " irritating " thing - she loves holding and poking the other nipple while BF . I saw that it is quite a common thing with toddlers . It makes it even more difficult to BF in public . We don 't even try BF in public nowadays , because the blanket is a no - go . She just throws it off . And she does not BF in one go . No , it is sip - sip , asking a question , looking around , sip - sip againPosted by Tiny Tumbles gymnastics . The toddler did not want to play along yesterday at the gymnastics class . She is not sick , and she feels fine . But for some reason she wants to do her own thing . She wants to look out of the window rather than take part in any of the exercises . She does not want to walk in a straight line on the rope . She wants to pick it up . She does not want to jump on the balls , but she wants to carry it around like handbags . She does not want to move the lint up and down , or in circles . She wants to take it off the stick . Or wraps it around her arm . But she enjoyed being moved from side to side on a big ball . Some days are just one of those days . The toddler is allowed her " Being Otherwise " days ! Why not ? We all need " Being Otherwise " days some days , don 't we ? Related posts : Wordless Wednesday # 40 - Littlest gymnasticsSaturday gymnastics The toddler goes into tantrum meltdown a couple of times a day . I like to call it the T - dance . The face goes into a wail . She stamps her feet . The very LOUD shriek ! Shame ! It must be so very frustrating not to be able to communicate . Or to find that not everything goes according to " Toddler " ! The toddler begins to realize that her universe does not revolve around herself . . . Come to think of it . . . It must be a huge shock ! We try mostly to redirect her attention . As soon as she is focused on something else , all is well again . It usually happens within a split second ! At the moment she loves " washing the dishes " with us . As soon as she sees that one of us is busy in the kitchen , she starts by moving the foot rest that we usually use for her to stand on . When we try to tell her that we are not busy washing the dishes , she goes into the T - dance . But when we start playing ball with her , or show her the horsey to ride on , all is well again . . . I do not think the tantrums are such a problem that everybody says it is . Maybe we are lucky that Mieka does not go into complete meltdown . A friend complains that her son hits his head against the wall ! That sounds a bit scary . We try not to let her T - dance for too long before we help her to focus her attention on something else . I think that is a good way of dealing with the Tantrum ! We tell her " No ! " , and " That 's not nice ! " We don 't give her a hiding or discipline her in any other way when she has a tantrum . I don 't think it is necessary , and so far it has worked ! Working Mom over 40 , ignoring the 50 ! Toddler turned Grade 3 Schooler . Add the eldest working sister in her twenties . Remarried . Vegetarian in a meat - eating household . Juggling the rat race in Johannesburg . Attached to my iPhone and iPad . Technology changing parenting and Education ! Loving it !
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The Mandate of Heaven by Tim Murgatroyd ( Myrmidon ) completes an epic trilogy of conflict , culture and passion in medieval China as the brutal Mongol occupation of the Middle Kingdom threatens civilised ancient tradition . Its imagery is gently poetic and complements the robustness of the narrative . Far away in time and space ; contemporary in issues , character and relationships . Outstanding . Railroad of Death is the original classic account of the construction of the Burma Railway by John Coast , then a young officer in the Norfolk Regiment who wrote his original manuscript on the voyage home . Railroad of Death was a 1946 bestseller and provided inspiration for the film Bridge over the River Kwai and a groundbreaking 1969 BBC documentary Return to the River Kwai . Incorporating Coast 's 1969 interviews for the BBC with his Japanese captors as well as an introduction putting Coast 's experiences into context , Railroad of Death will be published in paperback and ebook in May 2014 . In November 2014 Myrmidon will republish And The Dawn Came Up Like Thunder by Leo Rawlings in hardback and ebook . An artist before the war , Rawlings drew what he witnessed around him as a prisoner of the Japanese , leading him to be unofficially commissioned after his capture to keep a visual record of the prisoners lives . The new edition will include pictures never before published as well as new commentary on Rawlings ' experiences by Dr Nigel Stanley an expert on Rawlings and the medical problems faced on the Burma Railway . Associate Editor Justin Nash who acquired the rights directly from the families for Myrmidon said , " Both are classics steeped in humanity and crying out to be brought back to the wide audience the books previously had and deserve . Railroad of Death by John Coast was the first and the best account of the camps on the Burma Railway . It also documents the fight of a group of young officers for survival against the Japanese and frustration with the old guard of senior officers who ran the British end of the camps . And The Dawn Came Up Like Thunder by Leo Rawlings is both fascinating and unique . His eyewitness drawings and paintings vividly and uncompromisingly bring to life the diseases , hardships and other sufferings of the prisoners of war . " Mr Paine , the assistant housemaster who showed me around the school this afternoon , had opened the door , and a nauseating combination of sweet perfume , smoke and death emanated , catching at my chest . Mr Paine told me with a shake of his angular head that my predecessor had died suddenly , soon after watching a closely contested rugby match on the main field . He informed me with an air almost of reverence that she had followed the game keenly . Entering my new bedroom , I was relieved to see my suitcase , which had earlier been whisked away from my taxi by the garden boy , lying across the chair . I 'd had no reason to believe it was not in safe hands ; my relief was entirely due to encountering a pocket of familiarity in a terrifyingly strange landscape . The brown and battered holdall , which had belonged to my father whose work took him all over Africa , was waiting patiently for me . Mr Paine stood fidgeting at the door , closely examining the architrave as I took in my new abode . That suits me . I don 't want his prying eyes inside . I will have to wash the yellow paisley curtains and the bed covers and get someone to help me carry the carpet downstairs for a good beating . It can 't be too difficult to expurgate death , surely . Yet it took two deaths to bring me here - two ! How long , Lord , till You send death for me ? It has not escaped my attention that Mummy 's passing away and my changed circumstances have arrived soon after the time of the year that we honour Your crucifixion , Lord . How much more difficult were Your trials on this earth ! Mine are nothing in comparison , so I will stop complaining . Mr Paine could not contain himself any longer and announced that he was required elsewhere , saying I should present myself at six - twenty sharp at the north entrance of the dining hall where he would introduce me to the other housemasters , Mr Talbot and Mr Leighton , before dinner . I was relieved to see him stalk off on his thin legs ; at the same time , I became aware of a further constriction in my chest at being abandoned to my fate . Mercifully , I have my asthma pump for such circumstances , and this journal for comfort , and , of course , You , God . The room is tiny and painted with the same nauseating enamel green as the sick bay . I note that there is no bookcase , which will have to be remedied shortly , as my books will arrive on Wednesday . There is a bedside table and cupboard containing a few wire hangers that jangled forlornly as I hung up my coat , and a small table at which I am now seated with a rather grimy kettle on top . I have no need of further kitchen paraphernalia , Mr Paine told me as we walked past the dining hall earlier ; I am expected to take my meals with the boys as part of my duties . There is a consolation , though . From here , where I am sitting , I can see a goodly slice of my beloved mountain framed by the sash window . It is saturated today with the blue and lilac hues of early winter , with clouds curdled round the peak . This view will be an endless source of inspiration if I can find space in this small room for my paints . The lack of space is aggravated by there being two doors to this room , one that leads into the sick bay , and one into the corridor . I do not like this arrangement ; it makes me feel as though I could be attacked simultaneously from two sides . I will ask permission to keep one of them locked . It is with much trepidation that I begin this new life , and with it , this journal . I have not attempted such a record for decades , not since I was a girl . Yet I find myself alone at this table with a pen in my hand and an exercise book in front of me , hoping that these scribblings can help me . This , and also my watercolours , albeit in different ways . I am the kind of person life happens to . It might appear that I chose to come here , but it wasn 't so . Mummy died , leaving me unexpectedly with no roof over my head because of an unfortunate debt of which I had no prior knowledge . Phoebe came down for the funeral , and happened upon an advert for this position that had miraculously become available . I am fated . God plants my every step . The irony is that Mummy could not abide the rich , and warned against their pernicious company , yet because of her death I have arrived , hat in hand , at their doorstep . I will , however , take due precautions . Mummy was right in that money is a potential corrupter , particularly in combination with idleness . She need not fear , however , as in this position on my current salary , I will not be susceptible to the vices of the wealthy ! I have a carbon copy of my letter of application , stuck into the back of this journal . Phoebe looked it over before I sent it . She says I have a good handwriting , but I think the loops come out too childishly . I would like to apply for your advertised position of Matron . I do not have experience directly in the field , but I was a student nurse for a few months after my schooling . Unfortunately , I had to leave before obtaining my diploma as my mother was ill . Thereafter I worked in Mr Lawson 's pharmacy situated in the Main Road for many years ; thus I have a knowledge of routine medicines . An aspect of my employment was to attend to people who needed their dressings changed or their blood pressure taken . I have a good manner with people . Mr Lawson 's kind reference is enclosed . My hobbies are reading and walking . I am in good health , although occasionally troubled by minor episodes of asthma . I am a practising Anglican ; Father Evans 's reference is also appended . Hard ground loomed below the high boundary wall . Yun Shu dangled in mid - air , her legs tensed for a fall . Giggling made her wobble . It was like being a fly in a spider 's web , except the threads holding her were friendly : Teng gripping one wrist , Hsiung the other . ' We 'll drop you , ' grunted Hsiung , though he was strong enough to swing her by himself . Then he let go . See - sawing wildly , Yun Shu clutched Teng 's hand until he , too , released his hold . She landed with an outraged shriek . The boys hooted as she rose , brushing twigs from her skirt . Two tousled heads vanished over the wall and their laughter faded into the trees . Yun Shu took a moment to adjust to the silent garden . Earlier she had stalked crickets in dusty lanes , free to exclaim or sing or caper whenever she chose . At home different rules applied , like stepping from sunlight into a cold , bare room . The willowy creature 's make - up was a flawless white mask . Silver and jade hairpieces drew the eye to shiny coils of silken black hair and a figure as neat and pleasing as any fine lady 's . The girl became conscious of her plump legs and unshapely body , her ridiculously long eyelashes and puppy eyes ; most of all , her black hair that never combed obediently or stayed in its bun . ' Why are you scowling ? ' demanded Golden Lotus , in a high , singsong voice . ' How many times must I tell you ? Smile and glide ! Smile and glide as I do . ' A flicker of fear . Golden Lotus didn 't use cultured words like converse , it must have come from Father himself . But the Provincial High Minister of Salt seldom noticed his daughter , let alone spoke to her . She followed the swaying young man into the ancient mansion they occupied on Monkey Hat Hill . The area had a reputation as a haunt of scholars and other potential rebels . They passed tiny courtyards with neat gardens and closed doors ; venerable corridors gleaming with wax and polish . Golden Lotus 's four inch slippers squeaked slightly as he shuffled along . He led the girl to Father 's bureau , propelling her into the long room . At once Yun Shu started bowing . She knelt on the floor before Father 's writing table . Salt Minister Gui , a pale , gloomy man with a wispy beard , somehow managed to both notice and ignore his daughter . An abacus clicked in his meaty hands , beads flying from side to side . ' Yes , ' he said , clearing his throat . He peered at her as one might at a dubious underling . ' She 's g - grown , hasn 't she ? ' ' Quite right . Straight to b - business , ' said the Salt Minister , awkwardly . ' Youngest Daughter , you 're getting older . High time to b - be useful ! You may have noticed ladies calling here over the past few months ? ' Yun Shu nodded seriously , proud of her grown - up knowledge . ' They were matchmakers , ' she replied . ' I think they came for Eldest Brother . ' She hesitated then added recklessly , ' When I saw him last month there was fluff on his chin ! ' Again the abacus clicked . Yun Shu 's long eyelashes fluttered rapidly . ' But Honoured Father , ' she said , ' my ceremony of hairpins will not take place for years . ' He looked to Golden Lotus for appreciation . The young man laughed , his painted red mouth open but making no sound . While Yun Shu knelt dutifully , Father explained the contract in a dull , precise voice . A family of very respectable merchants in Chenglingji with extensive dealings in the salt trade were keen to secure his co - operation . They had even agreed to waive the dowry , a prospect of real advantage to the family . He waved aside this question with clumsy fingers . ' A son . . . ' He checked the letter . ' Ahem , not specified . It is the connection that matters . Do you understand ? ' She nodded . Yet it was too sudden a change . To be ignored all her life then learn - years before she might reasonably expect it - Honoured Father had already arranged to get rid of her ! The Minister of Salt 's eyes narrowed . He clicked away at his abacus . Golden Lotus tapped Yun Shu on the shoulder with his fan to indicate she should leave . A hot wind made the bamboo groves on Monkey Hat Hill whisper and slur . That night a wave of monsoon rolled in from the east , black clouds billowing inland , connecting Six - hundred - li Lake to the dark sky with rods of rain . A million tapping nails on roof tiles , scratching , trickling , trying to find gaps . At dawn , she twitched and curled into a ball . Some animal instinct deep within noted the night rain had slowed . Rosy light glowed through the soft skin of her closed eyelids , stirring fear and urgency . Yun Shu sat up in bed and cried out . Any day , perhaps today , Golden Lotus would begin the binding . After that ? A lifetime of wretched hobbling . Compelled by a sudden hope , Yun Shu dressed swiftly and crept out into gathering light , birdsong , scented flowers and wet , impressionable soil . Soon she reached a secret hole in the boundary wall of the splendid house and gardens occupied by Salt Minister Gui . Her hope lay somewhere far less respectable : Deng Mansions . Deng Mansions adjoined Yun Shu 's home . It consisted of a large compound of courtyards and shabby wooden buildings surrounded by gardens wild as grass seed . Built on the same grand scale as the Salt Minister 's house , it was topped by similar ornate , upward - curving red tiles . However , its wooden walls and doors sagged and several ceilings had fallen in on themselves . Positioned two - thirds up Monkey Hat Hill , Deng Mansions was one of a dozen houses formerly occupied by absurdly rich officials and merchants . That was before the Mongols put the entire city to the sword . Now , all the other great houses on the Hill were burned or abandoned . Only the Deng clan clung to their ancestral home . Monkey Hat Hill had gained a reputation for being cursed and few risked the taint of misfortune . As for Salt Minister Gui , he only lived there because no one was alive to charge him rent . ' I win again ! ' crowed Hsiung . He was tall and muscular for his age , whereas Teng 's thin limbs suggested delicacy . Both had shaved heads topped with small tufts of black hair . ' Why are you here so early ? ' asked Hsiung . Despite being a servant , he often spoke up before Teng , his master 's son . Breathlessly , Yun Shu told her tale of betrothal and bound feet . They sat on a decaying wooden step like a huddle of geese . ' My mother didn 't have bound feet , ' she concluded . ' She was a doctor 's daughter from Nancheng . Mother told me my Grandfather called bound feet unnatural . If only she was still alive ! ' Teng grew suddenly enthusiastic , as he often did when inspired by noble notions . ' I know , let 's be Yun Shu 's xia ! Her heroes ! Hsiung , it 's just like that book I told you about . The hero saves the lady and she stabs herself because he won 't marry her ! ' Hsiung liked the sound of that . They were interrupted by a voice inside the house : Teng 's father , Deng Nan - shi , wishing good morning to Lady Lu Si . Perpetually forlorn and annoying , Lady Lu Si was the Deng clan 's only other retainer , aside from Hsiung . Her position in the household was ambiguous , half honoured guest , half servant . An hour ago , John Coombes - my partner and supposed mentor - had been nothing more than a deeply unlikeable human being . Sixty minutes trapped in an unmarked police car with him had caused me to revise my opinion . He was the anti - Christ , my duty to the human race clear : God wanted me to kill him . I was sure of it . It 's amazing how quickly people can go from a state of mild irritation to one of homicidal rage . This was the first time the two of us had pulled a surveillance duty together ; although I didn 't know it at the time , it was also to be the last . Not just a noise . An irritating , repetitive , childish sound . Like nails scratching a blackboard , or an amphetamine - fed Jack Russell given free rein with a squeaky rubber bone . The kind of noise that makes your soul wince in horror and discomfort until the most hideous act of violence seems like the conduct of an utterly reasonable man . Any detective who has ever worked surveillance would testify that those ten minutes had been an eternity . Hell , it wasn 't as if Coombes had a whiter than white service record . I might even be able to claim that I was performing a public service . I made sure that my voice was calm and reasonable . If he sensed just how irritated I was , he 'd keep on doing it . Coombes was that type of guy . There is only one rule to surveillance duty and it 's mindbogglingly simple : don 't take your eyes off the subject for a second . It doesn 't matter if you have been sitting there for an hour , a week , or even a month , you 're expected to maintain a constant level of focus . In the past , whole investigations have been abandoned because the people involved haven 't taken the job seriously enough . In one memorable incident , a key suspect was lost forever because the two detectives assigned to the case had been in the bookies across the road watching the three fifteen from Newmarket . They lost more than their fifty pounds each way that day , I can tell you . Of course , none of that mattered to Coombes . He shifted his weight in the passenger seat of our unmarked Mondeo . ' I need to pee . ' I grunted as I turned and fished the paper cup out of the back seat I showed it to him . We were three hours into a six hour shift . I 'd been sensible , not over - eating or drinking . Coombes had munched his way through a quarter pounder with cheese , plus fries , plus a bloody chocolate doughnut . And , of course , nearly a litre of caffeine - laced soft drink . Of course he needed to pee . Coombes was always pissing about . You would think a time - served detective would know better . But then , Detective John Coombes could hardly be described as the shining light of Strathclyde Police . I 'd been his partner for about one month , and it had taken me less than two weeks to work out that he was perhaps not as dedicated as one would expect of a public servant . In his mid - forties , he was soft in the gut and work - ethic , with flabby hands and straw blonde hair that was thinning badly . I was supposed to be learning from him but so far all I 'd discovered was the best places in Glasgow to get free food . The city had plenty of restaurants and bars where the subtle wave of a warrant card would net you a courtesy Chicken Fried Rice or pint of Heavy , and Coombes seemed to know them all . ' The landlord 's a friend of mine . Besides , it 's only five past . They won 't even have had time to hose the vomit out of the toilets yet . ' ' Come on . You new fish are all the same . We 've been watching this bloody guy for two weeks now . He might be dirty , but he 's smart . He 's not going to do anything that we can pin on him . It 's a waste of time . Nobody 's going to know if we sneak off for a quick one . ' His face had a disgusted look on it . ' Look , Stone , I 'm not peeing in a paper cup . All I 'm saying is , we 'll sneak away for one pint . . . ' He wagged a finger at me . ' Just one , mind you , and then we 'll come back . We can sit here in the cold and the damp and smell each other 's body odour and you can hand over to whoever they send to replace us with a clear conscience . ' There was a park less than thirty yards away from where we sat . No lights , no walls , plenty of trees to slip behind . I nodded in its direction . ' You could jump in there . Take you less than sixty seconds . ' He sulked for about two minutes , crossing and uncrossing his legs . Then he opened the car door . ' Fuck it . I 'm going for a pint . You can sit here on your lonesome . ' I took a deep breath . Being a cop is like being part of a big family . Coombes may have been a shifty bastard , but he was our shifty bastard . And I was still very much the new boy . If I made a complaint about him , it would be my word against his , and the repercussions for me could be grave . At the very least , it would isolate me from everybody else . Don 't work with Stone , they would say , he 's a clyping bastard . The worst case scenario was that I would be viewed as a trouble - maker , and probably not be considered for promotion any time in the next thousand years . She tore her eyes from the earth , fighting for calm and forcing herself to analyse the horrific tableau before her . In the shallow valley the two opposing forces clashed , the formations swaying like drunken dancers as ground was lost and retaken . The bloodied soil was ripped up in clods ; iron studded boots churned relentlessly over the battlefield as her pikewomen - the phalangites , on whom so much depended - held firm against the savage barbarian attack . On both wings of her battle - line , Lysandra 's small forces of cavalry rode forward , plunging into the fray . Above it all , on the ridges that surrounded them , the iron ring of legionaries ensured the gladiatorial battle could break free of the valley . Behind the soldiers , she could see the brightly coloured tunics of spectators who had paid fortunes to watch the spectacle and , in the centre of the throng , the gleaming white togas of the imperial party . Lysandra wondered briefly if Domitian was enjoying his birthday extravaganza . She forced her attention back to the battle and fought down a surge of panic as the dam of her Thessalian cavalry on her left wing began to break apart under the tidal wave of enemy pressure . With awful suddenness , the barbarians cleaved through and Thessalian resistance was sundered . Seizing the advantage , the expert enemy horsewomen swung about and thundered headlong into the now unprotected flanks of Lysandra 's phalanx , their savage cries keening over the cacophony of battle . This is what Lysandra had feared the most . The Macedonian style phalanx which she had adapted for this spectacle was both irresistible and immovable from the front but if hit on the flanks the mighty formation was all too vulnerable ; the closely packed troops could not bring their long pikes to bear against the enemy and were rendered all but defenceless . Lysandra watched in horror as the horsewomen , yelling in triumph , scythed into the formation . She saw her women mill about in confusion , some trying to drag out their short swords and make a stand , others shoving their way free from the bloody mêlée . It did not take an Alexandrian understanding of tactics to know that the battle now hung in the balance . She had to intervene and thanked the gods that she had had the foresight to keep a reserve . She glanced at the women . These were her elite : all were gladiatrices , tried and tested in the arena . They were well used to the sight of blood and screams of the dying , less prone to panic than Lysandra 's newer troops . And they knew how to stay alive . Unlike the bulk of her forces , she had clad these shock troops as hoplites , kitted with heavy armour and helm . She gave her signaller an order and the buccina sounded three sharp blasts . The reserve line lurched forward , the women breaking into a trot . Like Lysandra , they would know that all was lost if they failed . Unlike a ' real ' battle , there could be no fleeing the field , no treating for terms : the fight would continue until the emperor called a halt - or until one side was wiped out . Lysandra pressed her lips into a thin line and urged her horse forward ; black as night and dark tempered as his coat , Hades refused to budge . Lysandra was no rider , and kicked the beast savagely with her heels until he ambled reluctantly in the direction of the breach in her lines . The enemy horsewomen were trying to disengage , but the disintegrated flank had become a seething mêlée with no room for manoeuvre . It was a small grain of fortune in the unfolding disaster - a bigger battlefield would have afforded the barbarian cavalry room to extricate themselves and charge again . As it was , though they had already wreaked havoc , they were now becoming bogged down , allowing her own soldiers to drag them from their mounts and cut them to pieces before they could rise . But these small successes were quickly expunged as the tribal infantry now leapt into the fray exploiting the gap caused by their mounted comrades . A groan went up from her troops as the sagging left wing was forced into the centre that , thus far , had held back the frontal barbarian onslaught . Lysandra looked about for answers but saw that the Thessalians were in no state to counter - attack . Too few remained and their horses were wounded and blown . Far away on the right , her Egyptian cavalry were holding their own . Lysandra knew that their commander , Minera , would do her best to break through and ease the pressure by launching her own counter assault . But even if she succeeded , could she arrive in time ? Lysandra 's plan to hold her ground and let the barbarian wave smash itself to pieces on the rock of the phalanx was teetering on the brink of failure and she could feel the courage leeching out of her women as their ranks began to collapse . In the midst of this , rode the enemy commander , Aldaberta . The huge German was roaring her troops on , her great fleshy arms wielding her sword like a club , smashing women from their feet , revelling in the carnage . Then at last the reserve phalanx piled into the fray , their line holding firm as they advanced over a ground now made treacherous by dead beasts and warriors . In terrible unison , their spears plunged into horses and women alike , the onslaught carrying them deep into the fight . The triumphant cries of the tribeswomen turned to panic as the line of hoplites tore into them , their pitiless iron spearheads shearing into flesh like the teeth of Cerberus . The reverse spread through the barbarian ranks like a slow - burning flame . Here and there the pressure of the assault slackened as groups of tribeswomen began to fall back in disarray . As they did so , the Egyptians on Lysandra 's right capitalised on the confusion and swept aside their opponents , cutting them down with ruthless efficiency . Their eerie battle cries rang out loud as they charged into the chaos , shattering the faltering courage of the enemy . What was once a battle became a rout as panic spread through the tribal ranks , and Minera 's squadron wheeled away , running down fleeing tribeswomen who had broken away from the mob . Lysandra 's infantry did not go after them in a mad rush , and she was gratified that the long months of training had paid off . Leaving the left to reorganise , her right and centre rolled forward in good order , thinning ranks to maximise their killing field . Lysandra squeezed her eyes tight shut and puffed out her cheeks , exhaling sharply . She had come so close to defeat that even now , with the enemy fleeing , she took no joy in her victory . Unlike her triumphs in the arena , it was not only her own life she had been fighting for , but the lives of all her women . The terrible knowledge that her errors of judgement , her hesitations could - and indeed had - cost hundreds of lives was almost paralysing . As her troops began to massacre the wounded , she realised that it took a special person to be a general and , though she had been sorely tested , she was relieved that she had not been found wanting . The challenge was for the ' Spartan coward who hid behind her warriors ' to face her in single combat . As she ranted and capered about , the fighting began to die down and the abuse she spouted became increasingly obscene . Its sole purpose was to make Lysandra angry and she knew it . The last act of a desperate woman who had tested herself against Lysandra 's will and failed . If this had been a real battle , she would have simply ordered her troops to finish the job . But this was a spectacle - entertainment for the Emperor of Rome and the privileged audience that had paid fortune to see death on an almost unimaginable scale . And she , Lysandra of Sparta , was Gladiatrix Prima . She could not refuse and Aldaberta knew it . She knew it , as the throngs watching knew it and the soldiers that protected them knew it . The men of the legions began to pound their spears rhythmically on their shields as they realised what was unfolding on the field below them , and then the spectators began to clap in time with the menacing tattoo begun by the soldiers of Rome . Lysandra slid down from her mount and unclasped her scarlet war - cloak . Like the majority of her troops , she was protected by a shirt of chain mail and wore a gladius at her hip . She strode forward and drew the sword without ceremony . Seeing that her wish was to be granted , Aldaberta began urging her surviving comrades to cheer , as though their efforts could bolster her power . Not , Lysandra thought , that it needed much in the way of augmentation . Like most of her ilk , the German was tall and big - boned and Aldaberta had built upon her natural size with a prodigious diet , carrying a lot of excess bulk beneath her leather - armoured torso . Lysandra had seen girthy arena fighters in the past , both male and female . They argued that a layer of fat over their muscles made them less vulnerable to serious injury than the leaner competitor . Whatever the truth of the matter , with her spiked blonde hair and porcine features , the German certainly looked like she could prove to be a handful . Lysandra spun her sword twice and stretched her neck from side to side before settling into a fighting stance ; Aldaberta simply spat on the ground and advanced , her eyes glittering with hatred . With a snarl , she leapt into the attack , her long sword arcing diagonally towards Lysandra 's neck . Rather than jump back , Lysandra stepped into the attack , knowing that with her shorter blade it was folly to stay on the outside . She thrust hard with the gladius , but the blow was not well aimed , merely scoring the dark leather of Aldaberta 's breast plate . Lysandra followed up by lunging at her enemy , trying to knock her to the ground . The German grunted at the force of the strike but retained enough presence of mind to smash the pommel of her sword into the side of Lysandra 's head . Stunned and gasping , Lysandra fell to the side , feeling her cheek become wet as blood dripped down from a cut on her temple . She rolled to one knee - just in time to block a furious downward cut from the onrushing Aldaberta . The tribeswoman did not strike with her sword again , but lashed out with a kick , her foot slamming into Lysandra 's chest , knocking her flat on her back . The barbarians roared their approval and Lysandra could tell that Aldaberta had begun to believe that their champion would carve up her smaller opponent . Aldaberta moved in quickly and it was all Lysandra could do to roll away and regain her footing . The German rounded on her again , cutting horizontally , seeking to slice Lysandra 's head from her body . Lysandra parried the blow and spun full circle , the movement taking her inside Aldaberta 's guard . As she turned , she slammed her elbow into her enemy 's nose , feeling the satisfying crunch of breaking bone and gristle . Using the momentum from the spin she swung about again , hoping to catch the other woman with her outstretched sword whilst she was still reeling . Aldaberta , however , was not to be dispatched so easily and hurled herself away . She spat out a gob of blood and raised her sword . Lysandra moved in , determined to seize the initiative and put the big tribeswoman on the defensive . The short blade of the gladius flicked out like a viper 's tongue trying to tease Aldaberta into making a mistake ; but the German was cool , deflecting each attack that came into her range , biding her time . Do not lose patience , Lysandra told herself , just as her foot slipped on the blood - slicked ground . She fell hard , her weapon skidding away . Desperate fear welled up inside her as the tried to roll away . Too slow . The mail armour saved her from losing the use of her arm , but still the heavy long sword smashed into her shoulder , sending sickening waves of agony flooding through her . Aldaberta howled in triumph , raising her sword to the sky and Lysandra used the precious moment to scramble to her feet , trying to ignore the pain . She made to run to her gladius , but the German was a veteran of the arena too and moved smoothly , cutting the Spartan off from her weapon . Her grin was smug and she brandished the long sword as though to underscore the fact the end would be soon . And she needed it to be ; Lysandra noted that her foe 's shoulders moved steadily up and down and her face was florid and gleaming with sweat . Unlike Lysandra , the barbarian leader had been fighting alongside her troops and the day 's exertions were beginning to tell . Lysandra raised her fists , dropping back into the classical pankration stance . Aldaberta sneered and moved in for the kill . She feinted , skipping in and back out again , trying to intimidate her unarmed opponent , but Lysandra would not allow herself to be drawn . Again Aldaberta lunged , this time with intent and Lysandra only stepped aside at the last instant . She twisted her lips into a contemptuous half - smile , mocking the other woman 's inability to end the fight . Snarling , Aldaberta pursued her , the long sword hissing as it cut empty air . Despite her display of bravado , Lysandra was taken aback - the German 's stamina was phenomenal ; she forced herself on long after exhaustion should have leeched the precision from her moves . Lysandra led her opponent on , allowing herself time to recover , allowing the fierce pain in her shoulder to recede to a dull ache . Albaderta 's blade hissed down in the diagonal cut , a blow designed to carve an opponent from neck to hip . As she did so , Lysandra leapt in to meet the attack , clamping her hands around the tribeswoman 's wrists . Aldaberta 's eyes bulged with anger as though she was put out by Lysandra 's temerity at trying to match her strength . She gritted her teeth , determined to force the Spartan to her knees . Lysandra resisted , sweat bursting out on her brow as the German brought her weight to bear . Aldaberta growled as Lysandra began to buckle , the inexorable pressure forcing her down inch by painful inch . It was at that moment that Lysandra gave way , using the powerful tribeswoman 's own strength against her . The German stumbled forward and Lysandra took advantage of the momentary loss of balance , reversing her grip on the other woman 's wrists and twisting hard . The young Spartan stepped back aghast . She realised that as she had slain Aldaberta , so Sorina had killed Lysandra 's lover Eirianwen - the same technique used in the same way . The memories pierced her heart like a knife as she was borne aloft by her cheering soldiers . The day was hers , but in the sickening aftermath , Lysandra could take no joy in it . He had become a man of routine and habit . He still bought The Independent , as a sign of his social leanings and pretensions . He had bought the paper when Margaret was alive . The Independent for him , The Mirror for her . His and her papers , reflecting his and her intellects . Except that he had preferred to read The Mirror first , for the shorthand version of national and world events , and the sports pages . On this day , he walked into the city , as he did every day , and bought the newspaper from the same shop in Reuben Street . He had a late breakfast at Wetherspoons . He always started with a couple of coffees and then , seeing as he was in a bar , it seemed only polite to have a couple of pints . Maybe three or four . No more . He wasn 't an alcoholic or dependent on the booze ; he was dependent on the routine . On this grey day in the middle of February , he left to walk home , back through the city and into the suburbs . It was then he saw Frank Morris , large as life , coming out of a bar in New Street , a mobile phone to his ear , a girl on his arm , laughing and joking as if all was well with the world . You only had to look at the morning headlines to see that all was not well with the world . The earthquake in China was proving more of a handful than expected . Thousands had been killed , infrastructure devastated and , on top of that , there had been an outbreak of a glori ! ed " u virus . The world had started dying , although no one yet knew it , and all Reaper could think about was how to kill Frank Morris . He followed him , almost without thinking , staying well back and hidden among the crowds . Morris and the girl went to the bus station and waited at the number 36 bay . Reaper kept his distance and watched from the anonymity of ever changing crowds . A green double - decker arrived and disgorged passengers . The driver left and the bus waited empty , doors closed , until a new driver climbed on board . Now the doors opened again and those waiting could board and pay their fares . Morris and the girl went upstairs . Reaper got on the bus and asked for a ticket to the terminus , took a seat on the lower deck , and waited . The girl had been attractive in a common way . The boots she wore and the fake fur jacket were probably high street expensive . The skirt was short and her legs long ; her make - up blatant and her hair bleached straw blonde . She laughed too loud . He could hear her now from downstairs ; she was laughing as if to show off to the world that she was with a real catch . She couldn 't be more than 18 . She didn 't know any better . He held the newspaper at eye level in case Morris looked in his direction when they came downstairs to disembark but , when they did , in the middle of the undistingushed Butterly Estate , the man was too intent on saying something suggestive to the girl , who laughed obligingly and " ashed a challenging glance down the bus as if to relay the fact that they were now going off to do something scandalous and dirty that was far beyond the limits of her audience 's boring lives . They got off as it started to rain . Two other people were also waiting to climb down , one an elderly woman who was taking her time . Reaper left his seat , helped her and got off himself . The couple were running down the wet pavement , eager to be out of the rain , eager for each other . Reaper followed at a distance . They turned left and he ran to keep them in sight . They walked up the path of a semidetached council house . He walked twenty paces down the street until he could confirm the number on the gate , turned away and began to walk back . The rain was getting heavier but he didn 't feel the elements ; he felt only the anger , deep , patient and uncompromising . It was two hours before he realised he was approaching his own house . Without realising , he had responded to a homing instinct like a pigeon . The day was already darkening and he was soaked and needed to pee . He let himself in , stripped naked , used the lavatory and took a hot shower . He lost track of time and became aware , some hours later , that he was laying on his bed in a bathrobe . His mind had short - circuited with the knowledge that Frank Morris was out and he knew where he lived . A sudden thought muddled his half - formed intention . Did the girl live with him ? Or was she only an afternoon 's diversion ? He calmed himself . A lot of planning was needed . He would discover the necessary details , he would wait until the time was right , and then he would act . Justice would finally be done . So far , justice had been only noticeable by its absence . Vengeance is mine , sayeth the Lord . Reaper thought it was time the Lord had a little help . There is an island situated in one of the three vast oceans of the world , an island which is actually a peak of a huge mountain , lying on the ocean floor like a sleeping dragon with only two scales of its humped back poking through the surface of the sea . Two , because near the island is another , smaller one , further east , which has all the qualities of the larger yet is different , like an echo . A man and his wife , some of the islanders call them , although their appointed names are Ergo Island ( the larger ) and Impossible Island ( the smaller ) . They were formed long ago , before the beginning of time , by the power of the dragon , bursting out of the ocean with fire and ash and steam , affecting a quarter of the planet , causing tsunamis and black skies . But now they are merely two islands , the only comma and full stop for miles and miles in the blank blue page of the sea . To look at them , you would never guess the power of the dragon below , for they seem inconsequential , out of the way of the main shipping lines , in the way of the gales that roll in from Antarctica . Although the islands are made mostly of black volcanic rock , Ergo has an apron of settled sediment which is fertile , and on which people and their animals have come to live with the seabirds and seals and penguins . Amongst them was a young girl , born on the island one winter 's day while the spindrift wind sang strange songs around the cliffs . Her body had thus far been immersed in the music of her mother , the shush of the sea of her , the thrum of the blood drum of her , the tinkle and resonance of her belly embrace . She 'd grown from a full stop to a comma , from a tadpole to a frog to a fish , the plates of her face slowly colliding to form her features . She 'd put on flesh and hair and pushed out frontal lobes , preparing to leave the sea behind , to drag herself out of her mother 's belly onto dry land . " You must push into your bottom ! " Sister Veronica concurred . She was childless , but trained in one of the best hospitals on the mainland . " Don 't forget to push as though you are going to the toilet ! " It seemed to Frieda that this birth was taking too long . Something in the flow of things had been arrested ; the passage would not open , despite the doctor 's modern chemicals flowing into Angelique 's arm , up her vein , through her heart and down to her womb . She knew from her own son 's birth what was required . Of course , Sophia should be there , but that was impossible , impossible . Frieda wiped her sister 's brow with a cloth and tried to keep her mouth closed . She liked the doctor enough . A confident man , a man who had brought all manner of good to the island . Why , he had saved her own daughter 's life when her appendix blew . No home remedy from Sophia could subdue that beast , only the knife would do , and so her Liesa carried the mark of the surgeon upon her belly : a neat straight scar where her body had sewn itself closed around the doctor 's stitches , a reminder forever that life can change in a moment . There were some things a woman knew better than a man , though , some things that the spirit world knew better than the human one , and some things better left to those who do not have to wrestle through the confounding drapes of love and ardour ; the doctor was , after all , the patient 's husband . Frieda watched the doctor 's brow pinch and wished there was a way she could open him too : he was closed , as closed as the unfathomable language of his journals . Frieda could sit and watch no longer . She went to the window and flung it wide open . The cupboard doors , too , she opened , and the taps till they gushed . She undid the ties that bound the curtains , her own shoelaces , and the ties of the hospital gown around her sister 's neck and back . It was up to the ancestors now , she thought ; she had done what she could . When Veronica returned a quarter of an hour later , she found winter right inside the room , a gale blowing in the patient 's hair , rain slanting in through the window . Like a whirlwind herself she stormed about , shutting out and cutting off water and wind , tying and closing , releasing from her mouth a torrent of horror directed at Frieda - " You people are a danger to yourselves , imagine exposing a woman in labour to the elements ! " - while Angelique , gripped by the end - stage madness of her yawning womb , felt how her body had become an instrument , how the oboe of her body had opened , how her mouth moaned a long and perfect O sounding out of the foundation of her and somehow flowing in two directions , out through her open throat and through her dilated cervix simultaneously , a sound to move the heavens . There was no stopping her now . The doctor allowed himself a quick smoke and a whisky before delivering the afterbirth . He had been afraid it might come to a Caesarean section . He was a good surgeon , clean , efficient , working by the book , taking no undue risks , but he did not relish the thought of putting his hand into the very centre of his wife 's body . He was not a religious man , but somehow that would be going too far . Of course , some would have said he took risks , delivering his own child so far from the help of obstetricians . They had considered going to the mainland for the birth , but it was a week by ship , and ships only visited the island four times a year , bringing provisions and luxuries . What if his wife had gone into labour on the high seas ? Besides , if he was not prepared to deliver his own child on the island , what would the islanders think - that he was not a good enough doctor for theirs ? He went over to where Frieda was washing the baby , dousing the child in coos and smiles and warm water , and looked his daughter over , this sprung and fragile scrap that had something to do with his loins , with the nightly pleasure he took in his wife . Everything was present and correct , but he had to admit a moment of disappointment . He would have preferred a son ; a daughter was too vulnerable to predatory men . He was a man who did not like to worry , and he could feel worry tighten in him already . On a mountain above the clouds once lived a man who had been the gardener of the Emperor of Japan . Not many people would have known of him before the war , but I did . He had left his home on the rim of the sunrise to come to the central highlands of Malaya . I was seventeen years old when my sister first told me about him . A decade would pass before I travelled up to the mountains to see him . He did not apologise for what his countrymen had done to my sister and me . Not on that rain - scratched morning when we first met , nor at any other time . What words could have healed my pain , returned my sister to me ? None . And he understood that . Not many people did . Thirty - six years after that morning , I hear his voice again , hollow and resonant . Memories I had locked away have begun to break free , like shards of ice fracturing off an arctic shelf . In sleep , these broken floes drift towards the morning light of remembrance . The stillness of the mountains awakens me . The depth of the silence : that is what I had forgotten about living in Yugiri . The murmurings of the house hover in the air when I open my eyes . An old house retains its hoard of memories , I remember Aritomo telling me once . Ah Cheong knocks on the door and calls softly to me . I get out of bed and put on my dressing gown . I look around for my gloves and find them on the bedside table . Pulling them over my hands , I tell the housekeeper to come in . He enters and sets the pewter tray with a pot of tea and a plate of cut papaya on a side table ; he had done the same for Aritomo every morning . He turns to me and says , ' I wish you a long and peaceful retirement , Judge Teoh . ' ' Yes , it seems I 've beaten you to it . ' He is , I calculate , five or six years older than me . He was not here when I arrived yesterday evening . I study him , layering what I see over what I remember . He is a short , neat man , shorter than I recall , his head completely bald now . Our eyes meet . ' You 're thinking of the first time you saw me , aren 't you ? ' ' Not the first time , but the last day . The day you left . ' He nods to himself . ' Ah Foon and I - we always hoped you 'd come back one day . ' ' Is she well ? ' I tilt sideways to look behind him , seeking his wife at the door , waiting to be called in . They live in Tanah Rata , cycling up the mountain road to Yugiri every morning . ' For goodness ' sake , Ah Cheong ! ' I have not returned to Yugiri in almost as long . Does the housekeeper judge me by the increasing number of years from the last time I was in this house , like a father scoring another notch on the kitchen wall to mark his child 's growth ? In a gentler tone , I say , ' I 'm expecting a visitor at ten o ' clock this morning . Professor Yoshikawa . Show him to the sitting room verandah . ' The housekeeper nods once and leaves , closing the door behind him . Not for the first time I wonder how much he knows , what he has seen and heard in his years of service with Aritomo . The papaya is chilled , just the way I like it . Squeezing the wedge of lime over it , I eat two slices before putting down the plate . Opening the sliding doors , I step onto the verandah . The housesits on low stilts and the verandah is two feet above the ground . The bamboo blinds creak when I scroll them up . The mountains are as I have always remembered them , the first light of the morning melting down their flanks . Damp withered leaves and broken - off twigs cover the lawn . This part of the house is hidden from the main garden by a wooden fence . A section has collapsed , and tall grass spikes out from the gaps between the fallen planks . Even though I have prepared myself for it , the neglected condition of the place shocks me . A section of Majuba Tea Estate is visible to the east over the fence . The hollow of the valley reminds me of the open palms of a monk , cupped to receive the day 's blessing . It is Saturday , but the tea - pickers are working their way up the slopes . There has been a storm in the night , and clouds are still marooned on the peaks . I step down the verandah onto a narrow strip of ceramic tiles , cold and wet beneath my bare soles . Aritomo obtained them from a ruined palace in Ayutthaya , where they had once paved the courtyard of an ancient and nameless king . The tiles are the last remnants of a forgotten kingdom , its histories consigned to oblivion . I fill my lungs to the brim and exhale . Seeing my own breath take shape , this cobweb of air which only a second ago had been inside me , I remember the sense of wonder it used to bring . The fatigue of the past months drains from my body , only to flood back into me a moment later . It feels strange that I no longer have to spend my weekends reading piles of appeal documents , or catching up with the week 's paperwork . I breathe out through my mouth a few more times , watching my breaths fade away into the garden . Inside was a note from Professor Yoshikawa Tatsuji , confirming the date and time of our meeting in Yugiri . It had been sent a week before . Looking at his neat handwriting , I wondered if it had been a mistake to have agreed to see him . I was about to telephone him in Tokyo to cancel the appointment when I realised he would already be on his way to Malaysia . And there was something else inside the envelope . Turning it over , a thin wooden stick , about five inches long , fell out onto my desk . I picked it up and dipped it into the light of my desk lamp . The wood was dark and smooth , its tip ringed with fine , overlapping grooves . ' So short - lah , the chopstick . For children is it ? ' Azizah said , coming into the room with a stack of documents for me to sign . ' Where 's the other one ? ' I sat there , looking at the stick on the table until Azizah reminded me that my retirement ceremony was about to begin . She helped me into my robe and together we went out to the corridor . She walked ahead of me as usual to give the advocates warning that Puan Hakim was on her way - they always used to watch her face to gauge my mood . Following behind her , I realised that this would be the last time I would make this walk from my chambers to my courtroom . Built nearly a century ago , the Supreme Court building in Kuala Lumpur had the solidity of a colonial structure , erected to outlast empires . The high ceilings and the thick walls kept the air cool even on the hottest of days . My courtroom was large enough to seat forty , perhaps even fifty people , but on this Tuesday afternoon the advocates who had not arrived early had to huddle by the doors at the back . Azizah had informed me about the numbers attending the ceremony but I was still taken aback when I took my place on the bench beneath the portraits of the Agong and his Queen . Silence spread across the courtroom when Abdullah Mansor , the Chief Justice , entered and sat down next to me . He leaned over and spoke into my ear . ' It 's not too late to reconsider . ' ' And you never change your mind . ' He sighed . ' I know . But can 't you stay on ? You only have two more years to go . ' Looking at him , I recalled the afternoon in his chambers when I told him of my decision to take early retirement . We had fought about many things over the years - points of law or the way he administered the courts - but I had always respected his intellect , his sense of fairness and his loyalty to us judges . That afternoonwas the only time he had ever lost his composure with me . Now there was only sadness in his face . I would miss him . ' By dawn it was clear to General Young that General Wikwot 's drive to capture Varanor had ground to a halt . The Colonial Army had displayed remarkable courage in the face of a frenzied assault . Yet the lemming men pressed on . Unable to disgrace himself with acts of selfpreservation , General Wikwot threw his reserves into the fray as the 112th Army prepared to strike the deathblow . . . ' ' Many and arrogant were the Yull , sure that their early success would bring them certain victory . Yet we M ' Lak made ready , and our humans too , and fiercely the Yull were met among the trees . Not cowardly were our warriors , and not light the grievous slaying in that gory vale . For severed heads , piles of lemming men , the squeaking of fallen rodents : these are pleasing things to us . . . ' Agshad Nine - Swords leaned back in his deckchair and studied the sky above . It was a clear , hot day , and the sun streaked through the high trees , throwing bars of light across the glorified pillbox that he called home . The sun made Agshad feel strong and keen . It was a good day for adventurous deeds , and so he had taken the accounts books into the garden . A running figure appeared at the far side of the bridge . Agshad shielded his eyes and peered : it was a man in army uniform , his arm in an improvised sling . He vanished behind one of the great timber pillars of the bridge , reappeared , looked behind him , stumbled , rose and lurched on . ' The garrison 's down , ' he managed . ' All dead . Yull came - thousands of them . They killed everyone - Brian , Clarrie , even Old Joe . Tambridge is fallen ! ' ' It 's an army , ' Eddie gasped . ' We 've got to warn HQ ! ' Drums and gongs through the trees , the sound of wild shrieks and cracking whips . ' Yull , Yull , Yull ! ' Agshad rooted about in his pockets and took out a key . ' I 'll deal with this , ' he said . ' Take the jeep and go and warn headquarters . I 'll delay them as long as I can . ' The Yull rushed over the horizon like a tidal wave of fur . A thousand sleek bodies slipped between the trees . Axes glinted , forage - caps bobbed , banners flapped , human skulls grinned and shook on banner poles . And amid the horde came the squeaky voices of the looting , murdering lemming men of Yull . Suddenly a voice barked ' Huphup ! Harp - huphephop ! ' and the lemming men stopped dead . They halted at the edge of the bridge in a crowd , desperate to pour across but lacking the orders to do so . The army stretched along the opposite bank as far as Agshad could see . To the right , a lemming man pointed into the swirling waters of the Tam and made excitable sounds until a sergeant tripped him and tore out his heart . The Yull did not tolerate indiscipline . The horde parted before Agshad and a figure stepped onto the bridge . He wore the cuirass , helmet and enormous shoulder - pads of a high - ranking officer , but Agshad could have told his status had he been naked . The puffed - out chest , the swaggering walk - the Yullian officer class were not only vicious sadists , but insufferably pompous as well ' Harruph ! I am Colonel Mimco Vock of the sacred army of Yullia ! The war god of the Yull , in his divine wisdom as interpreted by the high - priests of the Yull , has decreed that it is to be the Yull who will rule this galaxy . ' Agshad reached out and tapped a small brass plaque fixed to the timber . ' I think you will find that this bridge is the property of the army of the British Space Empire . I represent their accounts department and , as the highest ranking officer present , I forbid you to make use of it . ' ' British Space Empire ? Pah ! ' Vock snorted , hands twitching towards the axe at his waist . ' I am not here to speak with animals ! How dare you address me so , human coward lackey ! Surrender at once so I can tear out your still - beating - ' a look of rudimentary cunning stole across his whiskered face and he calmed himself with a shudder ' - liberate you from the yoke of serving the British oppressor . ' Agshad shook his head . ' Sorry , no . I refuse to join an army which practices human sacrifice and has no adequate pension plan . We M ' Lak are wise to you . Which , incidentally , is why we are helping the humans trounce your army downriver . ' ' Then why are you here with all these reinforcements ? The truth is that your furry legion came down to the woods today , and you got a big surprise . Not a picnic any more , is it ? ' ' Nobody compares me to a soft toy ! ' Vock yelled back . ' Dirty weak offworlders get nothing but death ! You are lucky if I kill you quick , big smelly coward ! You will die slow , yes - slow ! ' Agshad thought of Eddie , and imagined him tearing down the dirt road in the jeep . He would probably have reached the main camp by now : perhaps he was in a tent with General Young herself , pointing out the Yullian advance on the map . He smiled . ' You smirk at me ? If you had whiskers I would pull them out , nice and slow ! I will wear your kneecaps on my . . . ' Vock paused , speechless with fury , ' On my knees ! ' ' But you are brave , for an offworlder , ' Vock hissed . ' Most would have begged for mercy by now . ' He leaned forward , and spoke more gently . ' I will give you something for your defiance . If you turn away and leave now , I will let you live . And when we are done killing your allies as gradually as possible , I will reward you and make you a retainer of my house . A fair offer , I think . ' For a moment , Agshad thought Colonel Vock was going to pop . The Yull drew back as if struck , shook violently , turned on the spot and punched one of his lieutenants in the eye . ' Right ! That 's it ! ' Vock gestured to his men . ' Hup - hup ! ' Agshad glanced over his shoulder . Sixty feet beneath the bridge , the waters of the Tam slapped and broke upon the rocks . Agshad thought : they would be three abreast on the bridge , and it would be hard for them to fight the urge to jump . He could keep them back - for a while . ' Yullai ! ' he shrieked - and stopped dead as the bristle end of Agshad 's broom struck him in the mouth . He made muffled noises , chewing at the bristles in his rage , and Agshad turned and deftly shoved him over the railings . Vock 's champion dropped into the rapids , whooping with demented glee . The Tam had claimed its first victim . Agshad felt tranquil and absolutely confident , as if the sun had risen anew and bathed him in its rays . He was where he was meant to be . His whole life had been leading to this moment : decades as a warrior , followed by the rigorous discipline of accountancy . He looked down at the river , where the body of the Yull bumped against the bank . The Yull poured howling onto the bridge . Agshad whirled the broom , braining one and knocking a second flat . The third lemming man fell over the second , and Agshad leaped up and kicked a fourth in the snout . The bodies of the Yull began to pile up and more clambered over them . Agshad pressed on , tallying his kills as he waded into the foe . It was turning into a beautiful day : a morning 's bookkeeping and then a fight to the death , all in very clement weather . One could not have wished for a better end to life . Agshad 's only regret was that his offspring could not see him ; they would have been quite impressed . He kicked a lemming man over the railing . He stood there in a fighting - crouch , tasting the air , his shrewd eyes flicking around the room . I felt something , he thought . Something was here . . . something very wrong .
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As a middle school teacher , I am interested in my students . Our school has devoted the first 15 minutes of the day to reading in an effort to get more students devoted to reading . I often ask the students what they are reading to see what interests them . A couple years ago , I decided to read what some of them seemed to like reading . I 've read many different books such as all of the Harry Potter , Hunger Games , and Divergent series . Recently , many of the students were telling me they were reading " Michael Vey " . Since it seemed to be popular , I decided to read it . It actually " Michael Vey : The Prisoner of Cell 25 " . As I was nearing the end of the book , I discovered something that shocked me . There is a connection between Michael Vey and Glenn Beck . I went online shortly before I finished the book to see if it had been made into a video . It seemed like the logical progression for the book . Many times , I have read a book and then watched the movie . It was natural for me to investigate this . Imagine my surprise when I discovered one , that Glenn Beck has a publishing company and two , that his company , Mercury Ink , published Michael Vey . Mercury Ink 's partner is Simon and Schuster . The Michael Vey series is about good , evil , and making right choices . I actually enjoyed reading the book and could see why students like it . I am not going to say much about the book , as I don 't want to spoil anything for someone that might like to read it . I will say it is about teenagers that have a special connection with electricity . Something happened to them when they were born and now as they are coming into their teen years they have unusual abilities . Michal Vey seems to have the most powerful ability . The book takes the reader on an adventure from combating bullying to building friendships and developing an understanding of what makes people good and bad . The underlying theme is good triumphs over evil and that sometimes - good people do bad things to help . There is much more to it than the simplistic ideas I am mentioning here . However , listening to Glenn Beck tell the story should create caution in all of us . Is there an underlying agenda from the far right to infiltrate the minds of our youth ? Glenn is trying to find ways to reach the youth and he thinks these books might do it . I know many students like the Michael Vey series . Whether these books will have any dramatic impact on their worldview remains to be seen . My concern is the effort that has been put into public education by the far right in the last many years . It seems to me that there is a far - reaching goal to control public education and perhaps this is just one more puzzle piece that is being put in place for the greater good of the right 's influence on education . I always say , " I learn something new every day . " Today I learned about Glenn Beck 's goals . I never would have connected him to the Michael Vey series unless I researched it . I am sharing this because I think we all need to keep one eye open for understanding the manipulations that the media does to our children and to ourselves . As an educator , I would be remiss if I didn 't investigate and share these things when I learn about them . It certainly has made me wonder what else have I been reading that has an interesting back - story . Where I am teaching I see a high emphasis on test scores . Since I teach in an area that we are not able to " score " , I find that the administrators and teachers don 't really understand the value or creative aspects of art . Consequently , the course is treated by some as a " filler " so that they can have their planning periods . If we are to educate children for the future , we will have to begin by first educating the educators . Since there hasn 't been a clear - cut way of gauging creativity , it has been grossly over looked in the schools . Even the physical arrangement of our classrooms does not support creativity . I sense that " learning for tomorrow " is learning how to be a creative individual that can handle a variety of situations , whether they be emotional , physical , mental , or whatever . Strangely enough , I wrote these words way back in the early eighties when I was teaching at my first teaching job and attending graduate classes . I recently came across an old notebook that I use to write in . When I came across these words , I couldn 't believe it . Test scores ? My how things don 't really change after all . We are living in a high stakes time of testing but the push for testing has been going on as long as I have been teaching . The thing I find frustrating is how unimportant creativity seems in all of this . However , my perspective on creativity has never really changed . I have always felt that the most important thing for learning is creativity . Students need to have time to explore when they are learning . This exploration needs to involve the student in ways that force him / her to create something new , to come up with new ideas , to think outside of the box . Most people are not aware of the many known cases of creative people that were not recognized in regular school education , but somehow through their own creativity became successful . Of course , Thomas Edison comes to mind right away . However , are you aware that people like Ben Franklin , Bill Gates , Albert Einstein , Walt Disney , Richard Branson , John D . Rockefeller , George Burns , Colonel Sanders , Charles Dickens , Elton John , Harry Houdini , and Ringo Starr all quit their formal schooling at young ages ? Some went back to school , like Einstien , but others flourished by finding something they really were interested in doing . I think the way we school students today we do not allow children to discover what truly interests them . If you can find something that you are interested in doing and you spend countless hours perfecting your abilities at getting better at it , you may become an expert in that field . I often think about the first time I threw a pot on a wheel . Of course , I could hardly center the clay , let alone create a worthy piece of pottery . It actually took years before I felt like I was somewhat of an expert , and even that meant that I could not necessarily throw huge pieces of clay . Why have we , as parents , allowed schools and government to take our children and push two subjects at them as though that is all that is important ? It is reading or it is math . These two areas count for everything these days . Of course , I think these subjects are important and obviously , if you cannot read , your opportunities will be limited . However , the next Einstien may be sitting in a classroom where a teacher thinks he is " slow " or dim witted because he doesn 't score well on government - mandated tests . Seriously , we are messed up as a society , when all we care about are test scores . As human beings , we are more than our last test score . The measure of a man or a woman is not what they scored on their ACT or SAT but on how they live their life . I worry about our society as we elevate the students that score well on tests and ignore the students that may be daydreamers or late bloomers . We cannot discredit the different ways people learn and we should not treat students as a one size fits all mentality . We should embrace their differences and encourage creativity and original thinking . People that are willing to make mistakes and try something new will be willing to think outside the box and come up with new ideas . Those new ideas may be the next invention or innovation of an old idea . No one knows what the future is going to hold . I didn 't have a clue almost thirty - five years ago when I wrote that paragraph about testing that it would hold true today as well . As a society , we say we appreciate creative people but we try to put square pegs in round holes every opportunity we get when we ignore the natural creativity of children . Ken Robinson explains in this video how our formal education system does everything it can to undermine children 's creativity . In the end , we must teach our children to discover their interests and really follow their dreams . What is it that is going to take to make them better people ? What is going to make them reach their full potential ? Should it be just about making money or is there something more ? What is going to make them truly happy ? We all want to produce something . We want to feel joy and nurture our interests . I have to agree with Alan Watts when he asked a simple question : What do I desire ? What if money were no object ? As a society , what are we teaching our children to value ? Is it all about making money or is it about something more creative than just that ? How do we stand out in a world where we are asked to all conform to that square peg ? The artist in each of our children wants to stay an artist . Why are we happy when our children put away what we deem to be " childish " things such as art ? Art is our humanity . It is what differentiates us really from all other life forms . We should embrace our creativity , nurture it , and develop it . I have deliberately not spent much time writing about the politics of D . C . this year because it is just so depressing . However , I must clarify that the D . C . is not really the District of Columbia when it comes to politics ; it is disastrous corruption . This week , it appears we are on the brink of disaster once again . The focus now is on the blame game , but I am tired of the unreality of the Tea Party movement . If you just do a little reading on the internet , it is not hard to see that much of the financial backing of this " movement " is from the Koch brothers . What is going on in politics is about money , not from the little people but from big business and influences that have nothing to do with the masses . We are fed information from corporate owned media that wants to perpetuate their own purposes . I notice on Facebook the Tea Party is alive and well , infiltrating and rotting the minds of people by making them more concerned about some person on welfare than the corporate welfare that permeates Washington . There , I got that off my chest . Now , I can write about what is really on my mind and that is children . I recently reread Hillary Clinton 's book , " It Takes a Village " and I feel a need to share what I am thinking about politics , children , and how it all fits together . Hillary wrote this book long ago and some of the data is outdated , figures are probably even worse today , and of course , she wrote it before the technology revolution of Facebook , Twitter , Instagram , iPads , iPhones , and everything else that kids are exposed to today . I have a couple of brothers that think " It Takes a Village " is funny and they have made sarcastic remarks to me about this , but I don 't think most people understand how important it is that we all are part of creating the next generation of adults . I think if we start at the top , and I mean the politics in Washington D . C . , it isn 't hard to see how uncivil our country has become . How could this hatred and bullying not permeate down into the minds and thoughts of our children ? People seemed shocked when some kid takes out many people at a mall , theater , school , or any place else where an opportunity is presented . I think it isn 't hard to understand the pain and the suffering that these young people are going through . Mental health is just not there , but mentally is there anything right with what is happening with the politicians that are in Washington supposedly leading our country ? I believe the political discourse has much to do with all of the negative things that are happening in our country . Since Barack Obama became president , there has been an unprecedented amount of blatant racism . Obama was not my first choice by far , but he is president and he was even reelected . It is time that the party of " no " started to understand that what they are doing is destroying this country . As far as the " Affordable Care Act " goes , it is now the law of the land . I say , " Get over it . " I wanted single payer . I didn 't get my way but it is now time to see how it works . The Tea Party Republicans have turned into nothing but bullies . They want their way and nothing else . They dIt 's time our country started caring about their most important resource and that is our children . Politicians battle it out while kids are suffering in homes where stressed out parents are out of work , where money is a constant source of frustration , and where affordable , good daycare is difficult to find . If these politicians would focus more on getting the economy going instead of worrying about who can cut the most fat out of the budget , we would all be better off . These are the same people that in one breath tell you , " You can pry my gun out of my cold dead hands . " but in another will be telling a woman whether she can have birth control or not . If that isn 't crazy , I don 't know what is . The Tea Party wants less government control but actually , they want to control everything that happens in our lives . They want to keep the government out of their lives but want it when they want it for their own gains . They can give government funds to churches to feed people but not to people to feed themselves . Our children today are growing up in a society filled with hate , so if they hate , it is understandable . I am the most positive person I know and truthfully , it has caused me pain at times because I tend to give everyone the benefit of the doubt . Maybe that 's naïve of me but I think I 'd rather have a heart than be heartless and I see the Tea Party Movement as a heartless , soulless , creature that cares for no one , least of all the children . When I was a kid , I became involved in politics because my family was into politics . My parents were FDR Democrats . I can remember some very heated discussions with different members of my family . Many of my brothers today are staunch Republicans . I think my parents would wonder how they could be so far from their roots . However , we know our children are not cookie cutter reproductions of us , so it is understandable when some change from their roots . What I don 't understand is how today there is so much hatred for both parties with each other . There is a lack of respect for the president and the Democrats and there is a lack of respect for the Republicans . I think the Tea Party Movement has brought out the worse of both parties . They have decided that they are not going to negotiate anything which means absolutely nothing is going to be done . From my point of view , it seems like there should be more being done to get this economy moving . All that is happening is fighting . How much money has to be wasted on the countless number of times the House has tried to repeal the Affordable Care Act ? I 've lost track of how many times they have voted on it . It must have cost many trees and hours of work for that legislation to be re - voted on in the House . They don 't mind wasting that money but as for some person out of work hoping to get an extension on unemployment well , he / she is just a lazy bum looking for a handout . Our children deserve better . We had a better country when I was young . We cared about each other . I went to college and my school loan was $ 3600 , something I didn 't have to kill myself over to pay back . Kids today come out with unbelievable stress from school loans that would break the back of anyone . It seems that education is for only the rich these days or those willing to live in a debtor 's hellhole for most of their lives . We promise them that if they do well in school , they will get a good job when they get out . Then we send those good jobs overseas or bring workers here because " We don 't have enough qualified people to do those jobs . " Most of us know that this is just another way for business to get cheaper labor . We send our kids off to fight wars that are made up of faulty intelligence only to act like , " Oh , my bad ! " Peoples ' lives are manipulated , so when one of them comes back and shoots up something , should we really be surprised ? Our children deserve better . We send them off to school , which used to be fun , but is now turned into some kind of testing nightmare , should we really be surprised when they 're turned off and tuned out ? Our children deserve better . We put kids under an unbelievable amount of stress from the constant talk about being fat , to what not to wear , to how they are constantly failing in schools , and how we were so much smarter than they are today . I am so tired of the way we treat our children . We tell them that they don 't measure up at every turn . " Oh Johnny , your test scores really do suck . I didn 't mean to say you are stupid but … . . " When does this abuse of our children end ? When are we going to look at children and see them as the gift they are ? When are we going to look at a child without measuring how fat or thin , or stupid or smart , or whatever other label we have deemed to put on them but as a person to nurture and help grow into a productive adult ? If we want a better country , we had better start taking care of our children . We cannot simply drop them off at daycare or at the school door hoping that something better will appear . We have to all nurture these children . If you are a storeowner , do not act as if that child is there to steal from you . Show some interest in the children in your community . If you are a teacher , try to figure out why some children are misbehaving for you , maybe you will be the only real friend they have that day . If you are a politician , think about how your actions are destroying our country and causing the nightmares of today for countless children across this country that go to bed hungry , poor , and tired , and wake up to the same nightmare they had when they went to bed . I feel strongly that if a child lives with hatred , he / she learns to hate . Do you remember this poem ? It is time we thought about how to take care of our children . Yesterday I watched Ariel Castro claim that he is not a monster , that the sex he had with his victims was mostly consensual , and that he isn 't a violent person . It is not in his character . When I heard the word character , I could not believe that he could even speak about it . What could he possibly know about character ? He wanted us to believe that his problem is a compulsion perhaps for sex . However , I don 't equate rape with sex , so I had a hard time following his form of logic . I wasn 't planning on writing about this topic as he repulses me , but I think there is a bigger issue in our nation where women are concerned . I don 't know the name of the woman on the talk show I was watching on MSNBC yesterday but she was upset that Castro hadn 't been tried for civil rights violations . She talked about the issue of human trafficking and the fact that these women had their civil rights violated for years . She said that he targeted women , which indeed made it a civil rights violation . From my point of view , I have concerns not just about this case , but also with the treatment of women throughout our country and of course the world . Granted Ariel Castro is a deranged person but he felt that he had the right to do what he wanted with these women . He said his wife would argue with him and he implied that because she touched him first that he had the right to put her in her place . Something in his makeup , and I think in the way women are treated by many in our country , made him believe he could do what he wanted with these women , including his wife . Our society , no matter how much we scream and protest about women 's issues and rights , is still patriarchal . As a country , I believe we look to men for the answers and give them undo regard when it comes to major decisions whether it is at the local , state , or federal level . We excuse their behaviors , no matter how crude they are , and we still have that " boys will be boys " attitude ingrained in our minds . I see this even in school when I am teaching . I don 't have that attitude but it is there for many . When I tell some boys to clean up in art class , I still have some boys telling me " That 's women 's work . " In politics , we have many men that exhibit disrespectful behavior to women on a regular basis . On the far right wing , there is a constant effort to discount women 's opinions to the point of forcing them to have a vaginal probe if they mutter the word " abortion . " On the left , we still have to hear about Bill Clinton 's Monica moment in regards to whether Hillary is going to run for the presidency . The woman that sticks by her man , like Anthony Weiner 's wife , is marginalized as though she isn 't thinking clearly and she has been coerced into accepting her fate . Maybe she has and maybe we don 't know what really goes on in these relationships . In these cases , the woman is made to be an appendage to the man , just another " helpmate " for the big daddy that is the boss in the relationship . In entertainment news , we recently discovered that Simon Cowell is going to be a daddy . The woman involved is a " gold digger " and immoral because she is still married to her husband . The last I knew , it takes two to make a baby . We aren 't hearing what a slut Simon is , it is all about his girlfriend . The point I am trying to make is that we and I think both men and women , still have different standards for the two sexes . I received an email last night from Credo action to sign a petition . The petition deals with the fact that a number of colleges and universities across the country don 't call rape , rape . It is referred to as nonconsensual sex . This must be similar to the Republican that talked about forcible rape and rape as though they were two different things . I don 't know how else to say it but rape is rape . Women are continually demeaned when their voices are not heard and they are treated like a dog getting their heads patted when dealing with serious issues . The other day I was talking to my sister and I told her about this video I saw which I assumed was staged but was funny . A person was showing the excitement his cat had for him after he was gone for six months . Now we all have witnessed the excitement our dogs show us after even very brief periods away from us . Cats , however , are a whole another being . I have two cats and one greets me and the other hides . I have a dog and he 's always anxious to see me . The reason I bring this up is that I jokingly referred to women as being like dogs and men as being like cats . However , I think there is a bit of truth to this . Men can take or leave us as women . Much like a cat , they are used to being pampered . They are used to being at the top of the food chain in respect , expectations , and affection . They expect women to care for them and love them . They have expectations of what they want and how they are going to get it . Women on the other hand are starved for affection and will do just about anything to get that pat on the head , just like a dog . They will jump through hoops to make sure their man is taken care of and are afraid that someone may see them as not being a good caretaker . Women nurture and when they don 't everyone notices it ! Women have expectations but they often will subjugate their desires for their mate 's desires . Obviously , there are exceptions but from my point of view , women are always last . Now you could say that I have a unique way of looking at things because I grew up with ten brothers and I admit this , but I have noticed many things over the years . We women were the last to get the right to vote ! Slavery was finally ended and blacks could vote but women were still chained to the concept that they were less than a man . One of my brothers always talks about the Constitution and I just have to laugh because from my point of view , the Constitution is a living document that needs to change and grow as time changes . So many politicians want everything to stay the same , don 't rock the boat , and just keep the status quo . If we do this , half of society would never count for anything . It still irks me that we could never get the equal rights amendment passed . Those simple words of equality are very scary to some people . We live in a time of potential great knowledge for all people . The internet has opened the doors and the minds of anyone that is willing to learn . Sure sometimes you have to sift through many websites to find the truth about something , but in all reality if you want to learn about any issue or how to do something the internet is a terrific resource . I think the more people are educated the more we are apt to all be treated equally in society . I have found the internet a place where I can discuss issues with other women that are interested in politics . With this blog , I have an opportunity to get others to think about things . None of us would have known about the small town in Ohio where high school boys raped a girl and nobody seemed to care until anonymous bloggers got involved . Today I want people thinking about women and their place in the world . Women are more than just nurturing helpmates for men . I think until they are taken more seriously , women will continue to see much physical , social , and emotional abuse by men that think they can have what they want when they want it . Women need to stand up and make things clear to those men that abuse . Men that are " evolved " need to help move this issue along . The women that are abused are their mothers , daughters , and sisters . If we want to stop people like Ariel Castro , we as a society , have to make sure that little boys grow up respecting little girls and that gender roles are not so defined that women think they are less than men and are willing to accept less pay , less love , and less worth . It has been a stressful year at my school . Between the many illnesses , PLC time , the Common Core , evaluations tied to student performance ( Even from areas that I do not teach . ) , the NOTEBOOK , and other tragedies ; it has been a relief to get to the end of this year . I have not been able to post because I have had my time consumed by school related issues and the stress that comes from them . I feel such a sense of relief to be at the end of this particular school year . This is what it is like teaching in Michigan with the constant changing rules and expectations coming from our government . There is a lot expected from teachers today that most people just don 't even realize . Teachers have been beat up by a system that doesn 't respect them and chooses to blame them for all that is wrong with education today . Here in Michigan the push to privatize education is alive and strong . Why anyone could think a " for profit " system is going to be better for children is beyond me . If you think about it , children just become a commodity with a " net loss " value , not worth the effort , because the focus is on raising the profile of the better product . Why would a private organization want to work with a product that is going to cost them more money to put through the system ? If they want to make money , they will not be concerned about special education , small class instruction , and doing anything " extra " that might cost them some profit . Our children become merely an incentive for profit . That is the bottom line . America needs to wake up and understand what is really happening in public education . It is about getting more for less and helping some big businesses turn a profit . Recently , our school chose to privatize the cleaning in all of our schools . I don 't know what the result will be but I do know that good people that cared about our school and community lost their jobs . These people live in the district and even have children in the district . The company that will be coming in will be paying less , so they can make a profit . Everything is down to the bottom dollar . I know our school was required by the state to take bids on certain job areas . My thoughts are that it won 't be long when the teachers are summarily replaced , much like the janitors . We have no special power . We have been beaten down by a system that constantly makes us jump through another hoop to prove that we are good at our jobs , that we still love teaching , and that we care about the kids . There is nothing wrong with having to " perform " so to speak but the goal line seems to be constantly moving and changing . Just when one can think they are doing what is wanted of them , another thing is expected . It is like a constantly moving target that no one can quite hit because just as you are about to score , it moves . The Michigan House rammed through a bill to dissolve school districts without transferring employees . It is rather appalling to see this kind of legislation coming out of the state of Michigan . Michigan used to be a leader in the area of education . Now we are a leader in government takeover of local districts with no thought given to the voting public . It started with places like Detroit and Benton Harbor . These cities have been taken over by emergency managers . Schools are getting the same treatment . The response from the House Education Committee Chairwoman on the House floor was as follows : " Pigs get fat - hogs get slaughtered . " Her statement is so inflammatory and does nothing to help schools at all . The state of Michigan has cut money to schools drastically since Governor Snyder has been in office . This is the " expect more and pay less " attitude that is the new mantra in Michigan . http : / / www . mea . org / house - rams - through - bills - dissolve - school - districts - without - transferring - employees I frankly don 't see how local businesses are helped when employees lose their jobs . Unemployed people cannot do much for the local economy . They can 't spend as much money , so less money is circulated . Wal - Mart is part of this equation as well . It just doesn 't make sense to me that the Walton Family Foundation gives money to the Mackinaw Center for Public Policy , a conservative think tank that really has a stranglehold on current education policy in the state of Michigan . All teachers should be made aware that money they spend at Wal - Mart could find its way up to the Mackinaw Center for Public Policy . Yes , I know we all go to Wal - Mart as it is located to make us all shop there . I stay away as much as I can . Truthfully , none of us should be supporting a business that really believes that privatization is the cure for public ills . Maybe Wal - Mart will open a school if the money is right . With the right profit motive , anything is possible . People need to be aware of these connections . This great debate in education frustrates me as an artist and an art teacher . I am in the business of trying to make people think . The arts push us to a better place . Whether we are painting , drawing , listening or playing music , art feeds our senses . For me it just doesn 't make any " sense " to leave art off the table of the great debate about education . I keep telling anyone that will listen that if you want a job in the future , you are going to have to be creative . If twenty people show up for an interview , I bet the one that stands out for being more creative is more apt to get the job . Of course , this debate really isn 't about the future ; it 's about crony capitalism and pushing incentives over to the private sector . It isn 't about the kids , no , once again , it 's just about business . It has been about a month since school was let out for the summer . I have been busy working on curriculum for a new course I will be offering this year . It is an animation / film class for seventh and eighth grade students . I am very excited about the plans I am working on for the course and I have received much needed support from my principal . However , as I sit here thinking about the excitement I will be creating and developing in this course , I wonder about all of the schools that have chosen to dismiss the arts in their curriculums to give more time for developing test taking strategies . In the infinite wisdom of our federal and state legislators , the bottom line is how students perform on a standards based test . This test is basically a multiple choice test about information that the students will probably never use in the most important parts of their adult lives . We have become a nation of test takers . If we aren 't testing our children through these standardized tests then we are testing them for ADD and many other worrisome things to try and " fix " them . Our children are being judged daily on their fitness . They are told they are stupid and over weight . The remedy seems to be to make school even more miserable for them ! In the high stakes environment of test taking our children are the human guinea pigs , chess pawns really , in the ever changing education system that tells them that they are failures on a continual basis . With each test that tells them they are not proficient how does a child cope with this news ? Even in our adult lives we have become test takers . For many adults this involves being urine tested in order to get a job . Teachers take tests to prove that they are intelligent enough to become teachers even though they actually graduated from universities and colleges that gave their stamp of approval . We seem to be obsessed with testing . Unfortunately , our adult compulsion is driving our children crazy . What child wants to be stuck in a classroom where they are routinely told they are not measuring up ? It is a frustrating time in education . I have said on many occasions that I am glad my child is not in school at this time . I just want the insanity to stop ! What I know to be true is that creativity is very important for the development of the whole individual . Frankly , if you are not able to think outside the box , you will not be able to invent and be innovative . Our growth as a nation has depended on the innovation and inventiveness of its people . If we teach our children that the only thing that is important is passing a test , we do them a disservice . I came across a document this past year called , " Critical Evidence … How the Arts Benefit Student Achievement " . The document basically explains that testing has been done and there is proof that the arts , such as visual arts , music , dance , etc . , help improve the SAT test scores of students that are consistently involved in them . I just want to say , " Duh ! " However , many people don 't understand the value of the arts in the thinking and learning process . While the document stressed that No Child Left Behind treated the arts as important as the core subjects , the reality is that in order to achieve the adequate yearly progress required of NCLB many schools left the arts and made more time for drilling students to try and get them to " learn " the material . We have been fortunate here in Sturgis as the arts have been an integral part of our students ' learning and have been supported by the administration , board members , teachers , and the community at large . It doesn 't mean we aren 't feeling the pressure though . I have had to become more than the visual arts teacher in recent years . My evaluations will be based on student 's reading scores just like many core teachers ' evaluations . It doesn 't make a whole lot of sense to me but after all I 'm just one of those creative thinkers that tends to think outside the box of legislative opinion . I do everything I can to help my students become better students , better people , and over all better equipped for their future but sadly what the legislative body wants to measure is what a student does on one particular day in one particular year of a student 's life to determine not only the student 's fitness and progress but also the teacher 's fitness and progress . From my point of view I think this is just basically stupid . I was at the 8th grade awards ' presentation last month . I noticed that many students that I had taught that are very bright did not get an award for being proficient on the MEAP . There has to be something wrong with this test when I see students that are top in their class walking away without that word " proficient " attached to their name . They have been deemed not proficient . How sad that we have labeled students in such a manner . I think most people that are not in the education system might not be aware of everything that is going on in schools all across America . Parents have been told that it 's the teachers fault that their child is doing poorly in school . Teachers have targets on their backs and I feel it even on my back although I know how hard I work and how dedicated I am to my profession and my students . From my point of view , the test making and test preparation companies are making a lot of money off education today . I 'm not saying that there aren 't problems in education today . I just think that the future innovators and creatives in our community are at risk when we expect our children to just regurgitate information on a test without regard for the art and music of life 's challenges . The divide I see in my classroom has more to do with the economic problems than anything else . Let 's face facts ; students that come from economically deprived families have a bigger struggle than students from the upper middle class and wealthy parts of society . Over the past twenty years this has become even more apparent . The answer to me seems to be in fixing the economy as well as always working to improve our education system . Times have changed and with that change we should be embracing the technology of the 21st Century . Teachers that do this will probably remain relevant . Those that don 't may be kicked to the dustbins of the past . In my own teaching , I have embraced technology in my classroom and in my life . I think that living in today 's society is much more involved than just taking a state mandated test of proficiency . We will not know what this grand experiment will reveal until the students of today are the adult citizens of tomorrow . I do believe if we don 't change this high stakes testing we will create a world full of neurotic adults that will certainly keep the psychoanalyst 's sofa warmed up with their compulsions and obsessions and feelings of inadequacy . Will all of these thoughts interrupt what I do in my classroom ? I will continue to work hard on my plans for all of my classes including my new animation / film course and I will remain fully engaged and thrilled to be working with the middle school students that I feel so privileged to teach . However , this past year was extremely stressful for me . It had nothing to do with the students and everything to do with this constant testing . If I can feel it when I absolutely love being a teacher , think how the students are feeling when they are faced with stressed out teachers that are forced to jump through hoops to get their students to pass a test . It is a sad state that we surely must change . This has been one crazy messed up year . I think the weather has made everyone slightly crazy . In many ways the weather has been a sign of the Armageddon to come in the world of education . We educators are mired down in a political system that is creating more problems in education than thoughtful solutions . After being home a few days and celebrating Christmas with my son , I have come to realize just how stressed out I feel . In school I feel like I am doing everything I possibly can as a teacher . Many people have no idea what I really do as an art teacher , but it is far more than just playing with clay ! This year we have been told to add two new subjects to our teaching arsenal , reading and math . I already do a considerable amount of writing with my students so this is " doable " . However , I don 't think most people have any idea what is going on in school today . By the 2014 - 2015 school year 50 % of any Michigan teacher 's evaluation will be based on student performance . http : / / www . legislature . mi . gov / % 28S % 28etstwt45mdi5h255mrhn50j3 % 29 % 29 / mileg . aspx ? page = GetObject & objectname = mcl - 380 - 1249 The word going around the state is half of the teachers will be let go because they won 't be able to meet this standard . We basically have been warned to fix the problem or else ! Now think about all of this and ask yourself if you want your child facing some crazy teacher that has to " whip your child into shape " . Not literally of course , but in some capacity your child is going to be facing a teacher that has much to lose , so he / she better step up . As I am enjoying my holiday time and de - stressing , I suspect some children are doing the same ! Today I watched " Waiting for Superman " . The main premise of the movie is , of course , that the problems in education can be traced to the nation 's poor teachers and the teachers ' unions ! Imagine that ! I found this movie to be quick to denigrate a whole population of teachers with generalizations while basically giving no real solutions to any of the problems in education . While it may be a catalyst for " merit " pay and charter schools it really isn 't going to be the change agent that magically turns the problems around in education . If this movie was supposed to be the catalyst for changing education , it fell way short from that goal . I was treated to visions of small children waiting for their number to be called from a lottery system that would determine whether they would get the " ticket " to the golden school or have to face another year in hell at their local school . At one point , they showed a chart that " proved " that money didn 't help because back in the seventies we were spending $ 4 , 000 per pupil and now it 's up to around $ 9 , 000 and the testing results have remained flat . Of course those of us in Michigan know that the true number for most schools is around $ 7 , 000 . In the movie this was used to show that adding more money doesn 't make a difference . Of course in my mind I thought $ 4 , 000 in 1970 would be a hell of a lot more money than $ 9000 in 2011 but then I am not an economist . I 'm just a tax payer who lived through the seventies . I bought my first new car in the seventies . It was a Chevette and it was $ 4000 . In the early eighties I bought a mini pickup and it was $ 8 , 000 . You guessed it ! I bought a minivan in the early nineties and it was $ 16 , 000 but by the end of the nineties I paid $ 24 , 000 . Now I know kids aren 't cars but you have to wonder about the numbers in the movie because if the cost of cars has gone up surely the cost of an education is naturally going to go up as well . I know that students going to college are feeling that super cost of an education . I left collegeOf course they wanted to assure teachers that they are more than willing to go to a merit pay system that would be a six figure system for the right results . Michelle Rhee spoke about this in the movie and mentioned a figure of $ 125 , 000 . I think these numbers are basically meaningless . It 's really about dividing teachers and pitting the math and science teachers against everyone else . The movie showed parents that were willing to cart their child off to a special school that would mean getting up super early in the morning in order to get the child their by 7 : 45 a . m . I found that interesting because we all know that the key for most children is the parents . If the parents aren 't following through at home by setting aside time for homework , reading , sleep time , nutrition , etc . than the child may not perform as well in school . The other night I watched CBS news and it showcased a state champion high school football team from Georgia . The coach felt that one of the key reasons they won the state championship was because of a special grant from the federal government that fed around 500 students their dinner . It was set up like meals on wheels . They delivered dinner to students at risk . The coach noticed that by Tuesday his football team was plumb out of juice . He wondered how he could get more calories in his team . They needed more nourishment because most of them were on free or reduced breakfast and lunches but were not fed at night ! This was in what was said to be one of the poorest counties in the state . To me this is all tied to education . We have been told that we must rise above the stigma of poverty . Poverty isn 't a reason that should stop us from doing our jobs . Children can learn even if they 're poor . Yes , I agree that children can learn even if they are poor . However , if they are stressed and worried about their next meal , mom and dad 's job , or anything else that most children shouldn 't have to worry about , the battle for an education becomes more difficult ! Often times these students suffer in silence . They are embarrassed or afraid . They don 't want anyone to know that they are having a tough time . Leave it to the politicians to spend ample time on putting blame where it doesn 't belong and not looking for real solutions . Much of the problems in education are tied to the same problems in our country related to the economy . That 8 . 6 % job figure that is being touted as the new unemployment figure is just a made up number . There are far more people that have given up on looking for work or have lost all hope . They get shoved off the figures and the nation gets a false sense that things are getting better for everyone . I think things are getting better for some people but there are many still struggling and this will be reflected in our education system even if the politicians choose to overlook the reality of the situation . Our economy has been on a steady decline since the seventies . Is there any thought that maybe the decline in the economy and education might possibly be related ? If the politicians really want to fix education , they should start focusing on fixing this economy . This year has been challenging for me . In addition to teaching my regular art classes at school , I chose to take some courses so I could move up on the pay scale . Originally I was going to take my 20 credits over a period of two years . However , with everything our governor was busy doing in Lansing , I decided to escalate my goal to be completed in one year . The classes I took were online courses that were actually very involved and demanding of my time and effort . This summer I took the final two courses , both involved with using technology in the classroom and developing 21st Century literacy skills . Now that I have finished my original goal , I have some time for reflection before the students start coming into my classroom . I am really proud of what I accomplished this year . While I 'm glad I was able to get a pay raise , I was actually surprised at what I have taken away from the courses I took . I know that I am a better teacher today because of them . I always thought I was a pretty good teacher . I have always been very dedicated to my profession and to my students . What I have learned over this past year were some very useful strategies for helping students to become more motivated in the classroom , better classroom management skills , a greater understanding of adolescent student behavior , and ways to develop and integrate 21st Century literacy skills into my art classes . That sounds like a lot and trust me it was ! I finished my courses on July 18th and since I hadn 't had a moment from the time school was out until then to have any summer at all , I decided to see if I could find a cottage where I could spend a week on a lake just relaxing . My online search led me to Traverse City Chalet which is a cottage on beautiful Duck Lake near Interlochen and Traverse City . As the picture reflects , this decision gave me a peaceful summer retreat . This was just what I needed to get ready for the next school year ! I even managed to spend some time drawing and painting . I loved it so much I 'm going back next summer . Two of my brothers , Joe and Paul , reside in Leelanau County so I invited them over for a barbeque . I really didn 't want to leave the lake but I wanted to see them . My brother , Bob and his wife , Sue , were also visiting Michigan from Alaska . The dinner party included Joe 's wife Karin and Paul 's ex - wife Bonnie as well . I am so happy that I got to see everyone as I haven 't been up north in a couple of years . Given my families love of politics and discussing political issues it didn 't take long before the conversation turned to politics . What I noticed was the fact that I was surrounded by political conservatives . I consider myself to be a liberal . These of course are just words that we attach to ourselves and most people don 't really understand exactly what they mean so I 'll explain what I mean . My parents were really FDR Democrats . They were married in 1934 and lived during the Depression and their experiences were shaped in many ways by the Depression . They were savers and they didn 't waste anything . My mom and dad were both teachers and my mom was very involved in the union at her school in Kingston , Michigan . They supported the Reese teachers during their strike . I can remember going to Reese as a kid ! In my young life both as a Catholic and as a child of my parents , I learned about caring for other people . So when I say I 'm liberal , the policies I 'm talking about are policies to help and lift up people so they can become productive citizens . I believe in helping people that may not be in the best circumstance to be their own advocate . This doesn 't mean that I think I know what is best for people . It just means I believe in finding ways to level the playing field . This can be done mostly through public school education in many ways because the truth is education is the big divider in most countries . Those that have a good education can usually attain a more successful job and lifestyle than those that don 't . So I 'll get back to the dinner I shared with my brothers . What I came away with was how deeply divided politically my family really is . My brothers grew up with the same teachings I did but we are a world apart in our views . Bonnie and Sue both like Representative Michelle Bachmann because she is a tax attorney . I was shocked because in my mind she has said some crazy things . My brothers are over the top conservative . Paul even talked about child labor laws and how they are detrimental to the work ethic for young people . I said the laws are put in place to protect children . Of course it made me think about the governor in Maine that is working on changing those child labor laws . This divide that I witnessed at our dinner really seems to be all across our nation . It isn 't just my family . It may be your family as well . The next day my brother Bob came back because he forgot his hat . We chatted a little longer and I asked him how he could possibly have become so conservative given our parents and our upbringing . He said he was a Mormon . Several years ago Bob became a Mormon and that was his response . I don 't personally know if all Mormons are politically conservative like Bob , but that was his response . It felt like that was a standard answer . I didn 't get an in depth response and of course religion choices are always very personal and I don 't think it 's my place to question him about his decisions any more than he should question me on mine . This dinner party was relaxed and fun and nobody was fighting about politics . Paul did bring up my hefty donation to John Edwards and made some snide remark about how I helped pay for John 's mistress . Of course , I told my brothers that I don 't look to politicians of any type for my moral code of ethics and that I still believe in what John Edwards talked about . He wanted to give a voice to the voiceless , you know the poor ! Of course Paul says John 's a big old phony and that 's the end of that . Unfortunately , with Edwards being the constant poster child for scThe conversation moved on to education . I personally think the push for constant testing is crazy . Of course we have to meet certain standards but there is far too much emphasis on passing " The " test . I told my brothers that a test isn 't what any of us remember from our days in K - 12 education . We may remember taking the ACT or SAT as those were memorable days because we were getting ready for college . However , what most of us remember about our schooling is either some teacher that made us feel great or some teacher that made us feel lousy ! The rest is probably not that important to us today . What is important for students today is still having great relationships with teachers . Students need teachers that truly care about them , not how they perform on some test , but about them as children . Teachers have a powerful position . They can elevate dreams or crush them ! To me the No Child Left Behind and Race to the Top are both programs that have forgotten the key element to a quality education . Money is tied in both of these programs to test scores . This is ridiculous . The push towards merit pay is not a true standard for teaching quality . Ultimately , what will be retained by the students in the end after all the dust settles is whether a teacher cared about them or not . Those students won 't remember the test as being important to them . They will remember the teachers that treated them like an individual with a heart and a soul . Monday and Tuesday of this week we had our first " teacher days " at Sturgis and our open house at Sturgis Middle School . Of course I was in my room last week unpacking my supplies that were ordered for the coming school year and working on my room getting it ready for the open house . Last Friday I invited a couple of seventh grade girl students to come in and help me and we had a lot of fun . We took a break and ran to McDonald 's to get some lunch . We brought it back to the room and those two girls had me laughing so hard I could hardly stop . I know they are going to remember that silly day they spent with Ms . Svoboda and I will also remember it . They felt special and I felt special to have some time alone with these two girls to get to know them even better . Last night we had our open house . I came away from that open house knowing how much so many of my students really do love me . It is a wonderful feeling to know that I am having a positive influence on a child 's life . I had a girl come back to see me . I was astounded to realize that she is a senior this year . I told her I wanted to show her something . Back when she was at the middle school she gave me a student picture of herself . I had taped it inside this swivel draw under my desk . Whenever I open that swivel drawer , I see that picture and think of her . I know she was blown away that I really do remember her and care about her . She told me she is going to bring me a senior picture . The point I 'm trying to make is when these students are treated special by their teachers , they will remember those teachers . I love teaching and I love middle school students , even the ones that on occasion drive me crazy ! I know they can have bad days but I also know that if I can reach them and develop a positive relationship they can accomplish great things . I ended the night an hour after open house because I had a long conversation with a parent and a child that I really care about . I gave them what I felt was some good advice so that this child will hopefully have greater success in her other classes this year . As they were walking out the door the little girl had to come back to give me a hug ! I know she knows I care about her . The point I 'm trying to get at is not how wonderful I am but at how important it is for all of us teachers to remember that what is most important in our students ' lives today is not some test , but is still the relationship you create as a teacher . As a teacher , I feel I wear many hats . I have to teach , sometimes be a parent , sometimes a friend , and sometimes a counselor . I have to know how to get a student back on track when their having a bad day , or had a fight with a friend , or seemingly doesn 't care about anything . Anyone that thinks being a great math , science , art , music or any other type of teacher can be scored by a single test a student takes is just plain stupid ! The true measure of a teacher has more to do with what they have in their heart and their capacity to be persistent and patient and loving with the children they mentor and teach . I don 't know exactly how this can be measured but I do know that when you can see it in action , you can recognize it ! Great teachers are those teachers we all remember in a positive way . We hold them in our hearts and remember how special we felt because of them . I have two teachers that I remember the most . One gave me a briefcase for my books when I was moving away . I was in second grade . The other was a teacher that I remember paddling a boy almost daily when I was in fourth grade . I know which one I have always aspired to be like . As the summer winds down and I am spending time preparing for the new school year , I find myself thinking about my own potential as a teacher . I feel blessed to be able to teach art in this 21st Century where politicians seem to think the only thing of value is math and science . It boggles my mind when I think about my own potential as a child . I have always felt that I had a deprived childhood because I didn 't have any art classes in my K - 12 education . It is truly remarkable that I have spent much of my adult life as an art teacher . I would never have pursued art in college , if it hadn 't been for the student friends that happened to see my drawings . They kept asking me why I wasn 't taking any art classes . I remember drawing pictures and putting them up on my bulletin board . I had no training . I just liked to draw with a simple pencil and paper . I grew up in a large family with 14 kids . I have always felt that when you grow up in large families with little money you learn to be creative . Maybe you have to find new ways to play because you don 't have that fancy toy your friend has or maybe you have to fix something because you don 't have the money to buy a new one . Regardless of the reasons , I feel my family circumstance contributed to my creativity . In addition to that is the fact that I had good parents . They both were teachers , but they also were devoted to their family . The family came first . My parents would go without many things to provide for the big brood they had . I can remember my mom coming home from teaching at the end of a long day . She would lie down on the couch with a cold compress on her head . She did this almost daily , but then she would always get up and make the family meal . Everything would be from scratch . We never went out to eat ! From very early on , I knew I was going to college . I 'm not sure why I knew this as my two older sisters weren 't as fortunate . Maybe because I 'm the youngest , I had a better opportunity as a girl to go on to college . My oldest brothers all went on to college . The four oldest each went on for their doctorates . The fact that both of my parents even had gone to college was quite remarkable . They didn 't come from wealthy families and they were born in 1909 and 1911 . Education , obviously , has always been important in my family ! This is one the reasons I find the current turmoil in education about standardized testing so ridiculous . As I grew up in a family of 14 children , we were as different as the day is long . We weren 't clones of each other . We all had remarkably different personalities and interests . Some of us were probably better " test takers " than others , but taking a test could never really determine who we became as adults ! Some of us might have even been considered " late bloomers " . I don 't think any of us ever would want to remember our K - 12 experience in school as being about testing ! However , today students are spending much valuable time preparing for " important " tests . Much of the school day is designed and structured around that yearly test . Each school has to make adequate yearly progress . This test taking business is just going to get worse . Recently , here in Michigan , the governor signed a new bill into law that will eventually require 49 % of a teacher 's evaluation to be tied to student test scores . As a parent there is no way I would want my child subjected to this kind of education . My son is 27 , so he isn 't part of this craziness . I look at my students much like my child . Since I had my son so many years ago , I have always felt that I should treat my students the way I would want my son to be treated by a teacher . I always wanted my child to dream big and be creative . I wanted him to see possibilities and use his imagination . I worry for the students of today . Are we doing everything we can to make them into compliant little test takers ? Is that really what a teacher is supposed to be doing ? As an art teacher , I know my job is a big one in this high stakes testing time . I have to give my students wings so they can access their creativity and play with their imagination . So much of time in school is spent with the constant pressure in the back of everyone 's mind to improve test scores . Now , it will even be elevated as teachers discover that their jobs may be on the line , if they can 't get their students to pass the state test ! Now , most of you reading my blog probably have some reservations about all of this test taking and what it really means for the future . However , some of you may think teachers are just not doing their jobs today , because you keep hearing about how we have fallen behind in the world ! Truthfully , politicians have chosen to go after teachers because many of us belong to the last strong union standing . Do you really think it 's the fault of the teacher if a student can 't pass a state test ? There are a lot of reasons students don 't pass tests . One thing we know for sure is poverty plays a part in test taking . At our school and probably many others we make sure students have a snack before they take the " big " test ! There are many factors that can affect test scores . These are everything from poor nutrition , to lack of sleep , to inadequate test taking strategies ( Yes there is a strategy for this ! ) , attention problems , distractions , to even daydreaming ! Some days are also better than other days . Maybe you just had a bad day that day . Who knows what 's going on This was painted by another student of mine , Cleanna . Shouldn 't we be opening the door to imagination and creativity in our schools ? If you think back to your favorite teacher , I bet you don 't think about the fact that he or she taught you how to take a great test ! You probably think about the day when you felt special , like your teacher really cared about you ! I hope I make students feel special when they come into my art room . I really do care about them . The other day I was at the Three Rivers ' Meijer store shopping and an older woman was so upset because of some " screaming brats " in the store . She thought she had an ally in me . She thought the parents were terrible that couldn 't control their children ! She also thought they didn 't care that other people were annoyed by them . I told her I was a middle school teacher . It was obvious she wouldn 't want that job ! She told me she likes dogs but not kids . She could tolerate her own children but even her grand children had better behave or she 'd give them the boot ! I let her know that I like all of my students even the ones that frustrate me . So many people that criticize teachers would not ever want to be stuck with thirty middle school students themselves . Most of the teachers I know really care about their students just like I do . We realize that at the middle school level students can bounce around with their behavior . They have good and bad days . They need adults around them that really care about them and can help them transition into adulthood . If teachers are left worrying about test taking it gives less time for teachers to really spend caring about their students ' individual needs . We are not all clones of each other and the students we teach are as different as my brothers and sisters were from me when I was growing up . At the middle school I always think it 's interesting because there is no one student that can show us what a middle school student is , as they come in all different shapes and sizes , and interests ! So , I 'm left asking myself the question why we have a government that insists on a test where one size fits all . Matt Damon gets it and I really hope youI am so excited about this new school year , not because my students will be great test takers , but because I can 't wait to work with my students and push their imaginations and creativity . Just like any other year , I have a thousand things racing through my mind . I 'm filled with ideas for lesson plans for the new school year . I can 't wait to share my ideas with my students , so they can take the seed of an idea that I begin and create something totally new and different from any other person . As the government has us all " race to the top " , I 'll have my students all chart a new path for their own creativity and learning . They will learn from each other . They won 't run over each other racing for some golden imaginary ring devoted to test taking . My students , for the brief time they are with me , will hopefully have an opportunity to access their imagination , creativity , critical thinking , and problem solving skills . These are skills that will serve them well in this 21st Century ! We can all breathe a collective sigh of relief . The deficit problem has been solved . If you know me , by now you know I 'm being sarcastic . Sunday night my sister called me as she wanted me to turn on the show Brian Williams was doing on Congress . He took us on a tour . I called her afterwards and told her that I thought it was a waste of my time . She took a different view because it showed such a deep contrast between the average American 's life and that of the people that represent them in Congress . From my perspective , it reminded me of the Vatican . I know you 're wondering what that 's about , so I 'll explain what I mean by that . The men in Congress look rather effeminate . There is nothing virile looking about any of them . From Senator Conrad running around with his pet bishon dog , holding it on his lap much like Paris Hilton does her pooch , to Senator Harry Reid showing off the art in his offices explaining how Speaker Boehner cannot have the art in his office because he 's a " smoker " , these guys are all rather " prissy " . It 's hard to believe that Harry was once a boxer ! Throughout the tour we were shown the activity at this vast institution . What I witnessed were a lot of well dressed men in Armani suits and of course NBC chose to show women 's feet walking in high heels on the highly polished marble floors . It reminded me of that view of Sarah Palin 's legs . While they may have been trying to prove a point , the shot seemed rather sexist to me . The men wear their Armani suits while they are in Washington and their Mr . Roger 's sweaters or shirt sleeves when they go home to visit their constituents . I 'm not fooled by that attempt to appear like " one of us " . The women , well there still aren 't that many so about the only one I noticed was Nancy Pelosi . At one point you could see the unwashed masses , I mean American tourists , were off in an area merely left to be bystanders in this high drama world of high stakes politics . I witnessed the gratuitous little black girl break away from the pack and run and hug Nancy Pelosi . That whole scene seemed staged to me . As an artist , I was thinking about Norman Rockwell 's painting of Ruby Bridges . Watching Nancy embrace this child was supposed to be a heartfelt moment for the American people to witness , but of course I 'm a cynic and figured Nancy had to get some Purell as soon as possible . I don 't believe for a minute that any of these politicians want to hold our hands . I 'm talking about the hands of their constituents . I was shocked by a number that Brian mentioned . Somewhere in the piece Brian said 30 , 000 people work in that building , running back in forth between the Senate and the House . I found that shocking and was left wondering which one of those 30 , 000 is the dog walker for Senator Conrad and just how much is the running of this place costing the American people ? You can watch this Dateline Special here . It 's broken down into different parts . http : / / www . msnbc . msn . com / id / 30892505 / On Sunday we were treated to the inner workings of Congress , but on Monday we got to see the complete capitulation of Democratic politics . It seems with this big bill we will have a " Super Congress " that will make decisions that the normal Congress can 't seem to do on their own . As a voting member of the public , I am appalled by this . This " Super Congress " will be made up of six Democrats and six Republicans , three of each Party from the House and Senate . We voted for the people in Congress to represent us . We did not vote for a " Super Power " . It seems to me that this whole process is flawed to begin with because Congress has given up their individual voting power to a Super Power . Years ago one of my brothers always used to talk about the 12 men that run the world . Now we have the two party system of rule that is going to decide what 's best for the rest of us . The Independents , Green Party , or any other " party " that may have been trying to be a voice in our politics absolutely has no voice ! Are these Super Congress people going to end up being approached by the Super Lobbyist people ? You have to be wondering by now who is planning on being these " Super Powers " . We all thought Elizabeth Warren would get the job she was born to do . However , we all know how that turned out . Who thought up these super powers , someone that wanted a super job ? We all better hope Representative Paul Ryan isn 't one of the " chosen " ones . I don 't profess to have the answers to our problems , but I know there are three things we need to do . First , we need to stop being the world 's policeman . We spend a tremendous amount of money on defense spending that is really just a policeman for the world . The defense has grown so big that there is much fraud , abuse , and even lost money . It 's time that we got out of the wars in the Middle East and used some of that defense money that is used to build bridges and roads over there to build them here . Second , we need to focus on jobs here . It takes money to make this happen . We must invest in our country by fixing the infrastructure that includes our roads , bridges , schools , cities , electrical grid , sewer systems , and transportations systems . If we want business to thrive in this country , then we must have a first class infrastructure ! We need to develop new jobs for the future which probably can be created easily around " green " and biomedical fields . Finally , we must invest in education for everyone . We must have broadband everywhere in the United States . This is the way business works today . If you don 't have access to the global network through broadband , you won 't be able to grow your business and expand it as easily and quickly . The focus in education should not be on ridiculous test taking strategies but on giving students the type of education that they need to compete in a 21st Century environment . This means that our students today need much different skills than we needed when we were kids . They still need to read and write but they need much more than that . While politicians are busy creating new test taking stumbling blocks for teachers to focus on and forcing evaluations of teachers tied to these tests , the world is moving on in education by focusing on 21st Century literacy skills . Those skills are not about taking some test that was developed by a 20th Century developer ! These skills involve information literacy , critical thinking , problem solving , communication skills , teamwork and coAs I sit here today , I keep thinking that we have a Congress that is working like they live in the 18th Century and not the 21st Century . These guys may think they are 21st Century because they discovered Twitter and Facebook , but the reality is they are still living in the past acting like they are some unique genetic material that cannot be replaced . They appear to live in an Ivory tower far removed from the toils of the American people . They have everything subsidized and taken care of for themselves from the walking of their pet pooch to their lunches and even to the art in their offices . They have nothing to worry about except their next election and that 's what their focus is on . They are ever the politician looking for votes . Monday night after I watched the vote in the House , I went on Twitter and I saw a Barack Obama 's tweet , so I went to it . He was so proud of this event and he wanted money for his campaign !
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Description : Trapped with a billionaire in his mysterious mansion . . . can she beat him at his own game ? Lily would do anything to save her father 's struggling arts center - even indulge the strange sexual whims of the brooding Calder Cunningham . A contemporary , steamy take on Beauty and the Beast . Description : Detective Mark Harrison has never needed an assistant before . But when artist Nikki Reed walks into his office by accident , there 's a spark between them that neither can deny . They have to be careful , though . . . every detective has a past , and the secrets in Mark 's could prove deadly to both of them . Description : What happens when your head and your heart pull you in completely opposite directions ? April Adams is about to find out the hard way . Join April as she embarks on a life changing journey of love and loss , which will have you laughing and crying until the very end . Description : When financial problems force Isabelle Andrews to abandon her dreams of attending a top - tier university in favor of community college , she thinks her educational career is over before it 's begun . But unexpected new experiences and relationships - - including her growing attraction to a certain TA - - help Isabelle learn that sometimes , the most precious things are found in the last places you 'd think to look . Title : The Modeliser Author : Havana Adams Genre : Contemporary Romance Description : Erotic model by day , biochemistry student by night . Evan Cosette 's secret career is keeping her tuition paid and putting enough money in her account for grad school . Will her new sexy coworker make her famous , or ruin it all ? Title : V Club Kristen has spent countless nights in V Clubs across the globe searching for her maker and true love , Jake . Every fiber of her being longs to feel his touch again . Will tonight be the night she gets her wish , or will someone else take his place in her immortal heart ? Description : For as long as Claudia could remember , she knew that there was something wrong with our world . The facts just didn 't add up . For a young law graduate in search of the truth , it was not just a job , it was a means to find out more . Who are the mysterious Immortelle ? What are they ? And what is their interest in her family ? Even saying it aloud " Sunshine In London " sounds wrong , like a disaster movie in which some rogue asteroid is about to wipe us all out . I read somewhere recently that up to 40 % of Londoners might be Vitamin D deficient . That 's right 40 % ! ! ! The lack of sunshine on this small island is a serious issue and for people of colour whose natural melanin protection makes it even harder for the sun to penetrate it . . . . well it 's no joke . Therefore , the fact that it has been sunny in London for 3 STRAIGHT DAYS feels like a miracle . And what with Andy Murray becoming the first British male to win the Wimbledon singles title in 77 years * , it 's been a great excuse to head to the park with a good book and bask in the great weather and good temper . Sisterland by Curtis Sittenfeld . I finished this really quickly . I love Sittenfeld 's writing and was totally engrossed by this book for the first three quarters and then the ending really lost me , as in went from a 4 , maybe 4 . 5 to maybe a 3 . I 'm a bit heartbroken by the disappointing ending , which I found totally unrewarding and unconvincing . The Shining Girls by Lauren Beukes * Though the media coverage in the UK might have chosen to forget about them , there have been other British winners at Wimbledon in the last 77 years . Dreadfully overlooked is Virginia Wade who won the women 's singles title in 1977 . In addition Laura Robson was a Wimbledon Juniors champion . And Jamie Murray and Jelena Jankovich won the mixed doubles in 2007 . There are probably others but apparently the lazy media can 't even be bothered to search wiki . . . Also fairly hideous has been the lazy and mean spirited comments about the awesome , inspiring athlete Marion Bartoli . You can still check out all of those teasers but I thought I 'd keep it simple and just share with you the beginning of The Modeliser . So here 's the prologue and first chapter . I hope you enjoy it and it makes you want to read more . " We are back live in 15 seconds . Camera One - ready . Presenters - Best Adapted Screenplay to the stage . Live in 10 , 9 , 8 … " As the award show 's director barked out instructions , Alex walked backstage in a daze as a whirlwind of activity spun around him . Immediately , he spotted a woman in a striking crimson dress watching him from across the chaos of the green room . His palm was warm against the surprisingly heavy gold statuette and though outwardly composed , inside he was in a state of shock , drinking in the sight of Streep and Nicholson as they swept by him onto the stage to present the next award . Alex 's eyes were once again drawn to the woman who was watching him . In the sea of famous faces and celebrities , producers , PRs and hanger - ons , somehow this woman , in her red dress , held his attention . She pushed forward , coming to stand in front of him , her right hand already held out . Close up , Alex saw that she was older than he 'd initially thought . Yet for a woman who must be in her forties , the body was still killer . His eyes ate her up , skimming from the large breasts , which oozed over the top of the corseted red dress , to the slim waist and then the flare of generous hips . His gaze moved back up to her eyes and with a start Alex saw that the woman 's eyes were narrowed , with a hint of knowing amusement . This wasn 't the usual response that he got from women . He switched the gold statuette to his left hand and gave her a firm handshake . He was sure that he didn 't know this woman , but in the three weeks of meetings , junkets and publicity since he had landed in LA , he 'd learned that people did this here , that sometimes for no reason at all , they 'd stop to talk to you , that somehow , everybody , just everybody was in the business and wanted to know about his " little English movie . " Any paparazzo worth his salt would kill to capture the image of movie star Alex Golden , Hollywood 's legendary Modeliser , sprawled almost naked but for a pair of Gucci board shorts that hung low down on his hips , revealing a perfectly smooth chest and tanned , ripped , Hollywood perfected abs . Next to him lay a woman whose triple threat of lips , breasts and legs had made grown men weep , and more besides . Alex reclined on a sun bed , as he stared out on the startling Azure blue sea at the exclusive resort on the Mexican coastline . In the distance came whoops and squeals of a group of people on powerful jet skis as they skimmed across the horizon , shooting plumes of water in the air behind them . Just watching them made Alex feel tired and he pushed his sunglasses down on his face . " Christ my head is pounding , " he muttered the words with a small groan but was met with silence . He turned with a lazy glance , reaching out to touch the woman next to him . His hand skimmed her flat abdomen , before falling away . They hadn 't stayed long at the film premiere after - party the night before . Just long enough for Alex to be photographed next to his ambitious young co - star , model turned actress Tyler Link , and of course long enough for him to be nursing a hangover as a result of too much Vintage Perrier Jouet champagne , which had been free - flowing at the VIP After - Party . For a moment Alex was filled with a beat of nostalgia , you 're getting old a voice in his head taunted him . Shaking the thought away , Alex rose to his feet , turning to stand over the sun lounger next to his . " You 're blocking my sunlight . " Isabella finally spoke , pouting sulkily and yet so prettily as the words whispered out of her pink and improbably plump lips . Alex watched her for a moment . Most of her face was obscured by the large brim of a white Dior sunhat but what was visible of her was still incredible . Still recognisable as the face and body of Isabella Murada , one of the world 's highest paid supermodels . She and Alex shared a publicist , who had introduced them at some charity benefit in Los Angeles . Alex had only just ended another headline - grabbing fling with a swimwear model and the timing had been good . That same night he 'd taken Isabella back to his suite at Chateau Marmont and they 'd been together the last five months , which by his usual standards , was practically an eternity . He continued to stare down at Isabella knowing that she would soon snap . A devoted sun worshipper , Isabella hated the possibility of tanning unevenly . He stared at her lips , which were thrust forward sulkily and his eyes drifted lower to the unselfconscious way that she tanned topless . He leaned down to stroke a finger across her nipple . " Come into the water , " he asked softly . Her breasts were large , gorgeous and fake , of course , but still with enough softness and movement in them to fool the untutored observer . He , however , was an expert . How could he not be , after ten years of fucking models and starlets ? Mostly Alex liked the rough Portuguese twang in her Brazilian accented English , but some days like today , the harsh sounds grated . " You 're not still angry ? " He gritted his teeth . Isabella could carry a grudge and her silent treatments had been known to last for days . With a sigh he banked down his building irritation with her . " Isabella , " he cajoled softly . " You embarrass me at the premiere , laughing and joking for the cameras with that , that … model . " Her words were hissed out of pursed lips and Alex fought to hide his disinterest , which was laced too with some amusement . The contempt with which she spat the word model , might lead anyone to think that she wasn 't one herself . " Tyler is my co - star , I didn 't have much choice . " Alex sighed as Isabella folded her arms beneath her breasts and turned her head away so that all that he could see was her jaw and the perfect , unblemished profile that had fronted countless cosmetic campaigns and adorned billboards in Milan , Paris , New York and London . " Fine , " he said and with a shrug he turned and walked towards the pool and dived in with a clean , perfect arc that caused barely a ripple . After pounding the length of the pool for several long minutes ; as much to escape the heat of Isabella 's building temper as to cool down , Alex levered himself out of the pool and again looked towards the sea . She was no longer in her sun lounger . Grabbing his towel , he dried his hair roughly , even as the hot sun rapidly dried his skin , till only a few droplets kissed his muscular shoulders . A little way from the house , he spotted a movement and grimaced watching as the blistering sun , flashed and reflected against something hidden behind the bushes . It was a tell which Alex had grown familiar with these last ten years ; the paparazzi had found them . For the first time in the last few weeks , Alex felt the tension drain away from him ; his feet warmed by the terracotta of the stone brick floors , which baked in the sun as he moved into the house . Though Avital , his agent , hid it well , he had sensed her tension , had known that she and the studios were closely watching his latest film . He was no brainless himbo , he too had noted that though they were still hitting number one , his films weren 't doing what they used to at the Box Office . He knew without anyone telling him that Deadlock had to reach number one and stay there . As he padded around the villa , there was still no sign of Isabella and he was not inclined to go and find her . Now , with a clearer head , he looked around the opulent open plan living room . Their stay here had come courtesy of millionaire producer and Hollywood royalty , Milo Levy . The paintings that last night he and Isabella had brushed past without even a glance were in the light of day revealed to be Picasso sketches and vibrant Modigliani nudes that wouldn 't be out of place in some national gallery somewhere . Alex smiled and slumped down onto a white chaise lounge in the living room , fumbling around for the TV remote , which he used to flick on the massive plasma screen TV that was mounted on a wall . For a couple of minutes , he channel surfed without interest , finally tossing aside the remote as he spotted his Mulberry overnight bag where he had carelessly dumped it the night before . He reached into it pulling out a platinum Vertu mobile phone . He had several missed calls , most of which he wouldn 't return . The last name on the list was his sister 's and he clicked on it , feeling a twinge of guilt . He 'd missed several telephone calls from her in the last few days and with the crazy schedule of promotion in the lead up to the film 's release , he 'd not had a chance to call her back . Leaning back into the sofa , he prepared to return his sister 's call when something on the television caught his attention . It was an image of himself . Not that this was an unusual occurrence but curious in spite of himself , Alex threw aside his phone and flicked the volume up with the television remote . Now he spotted that the TV was on Z News , a Hollywood celebrity news channel , which seemed inescapable wherever one was in the world . The presenter was in full flow . " And Hollywood buzz is saying the Alex Golden is out and Max Maguire is in for the big budget adventure trilogy Defender , we 'll have more on this breaking story as it comes in . " For a moment Alex was frozen as the photograph of Max Maguire flicked off the screen to be replaced by another image as the presenter moved on . He flicked the TV back to silent , noting in a beat that the tension in his neck was back . Alex had never been especially competitive , but Max Maguire infuriated him as few others could . Somehow he seemed determined to cast himself as " The New Alex Golden " and in recent months they had butted heads and wound up in talks for the same roles . Not that he needed to compete for scripts but something about Max unsettled him , not least that he was five years younger than him . Alex had been determined to land the title role in Defender , a trilogy of films from Australian director Cole Sidney that seemed likely to do for sci - fi , what Lord of the Rings had done for fantasy . The buzz was immense and he had assumed , after a chat with the director that the arrival of an offer was a mere formality . The azure blue of the sea that had been so calming now had little effect on him , all he could feel was the onset of a pounding headache . He would have to call Avital . " I 've been waiting for you , " she pouted at him , this time with a hint of the mischievous smile that made men go weak . Alex grimaced ; he hadn 't time for Isabella , not now . He turned his back on her , reaching for his mobile phone . " I have to call Avital . " He scrolled through his contacts list , even as he could hear the faint slap of Isabella 's bare feet against the floor as she moved towards him . As he was about to connect the call , he felt a whisper of silk , followed by her naked breasts , pressed against his back . " Do you have to ? " She asked . Though it wasn 't really a question . She 'd already traced her cool hands around his narrow waist and up his chest , to his arm before gently squeezing his bicep . She took the phone out of his hand and threw it onto the sofa , where it landed silently on the thick pile of cushions . Then , she snaked her arm around his waist again and pulled him around to face her . Isabella pressed herself against him , pinning him to the cabinet behind them . Her tongue flicked out to lick her bee - stung lips and Alex followed the movement with a hungry look , already diverted from his plan ; Avital could wait . She leaned in and teased his lips with her tongue and then , in that way that she did , she kissed him , hard . He 'd always been struck by the forceful , almost masculine single - mindedness that Isabella brought to sex ; how she always made sure to take her pleasure first . But tonight it seemed her earlier bad mood was forgotten and it was all about him . She kissed him again , her tongue fighting with his , biting his lower lip roughly and then she leaned down to lick his nipple , before slowly sinking to her knees . Freeing him from his swimming shorts , she made a deep appreciative noise in her throat as she gripped him tight before slowly starting to stroke her hand up and down . As she bent to kiss the tip , she looked up and winked at him and Alex gave a short , breathless bark of laughter . Later , as they lay in the massive bed on 750 - thread count Egyptian cotton sheets , the windows thrown open so that the silvery white light of the full moon flickered into the room , Alex watched Isabella sleep , as she always did , naked on her back . One arm was flung over her head and the other rested low on her abdomen . Even in sleep she looked ready for sex . He would miss her , he thought . Isabella was a smart girl and in a town defined by transactional relationships , where everyone used everyone , Alex understood her desire to be with him . She had left a Spanish millionaire for him and though the sex was good , great even , Alex wasn 't so arrogant as to think that was the full story . Isabella was 28 , in model years practically middle - aged . She was a woman looking for her next step , she wanted to make the crossover from model to actress and she 'd decided that he was her ticket there . He hadn 't minded really but somehow this afternoon , he 'd realised that he was bored , that he needed something new , some new challenge . He needed to shake things up and as every model that had gone before Isabella had learned , when Alex moved on , he was gone . The shift was brutal and immediate and Alex had perfected a principle of never going back and never looking back . He never hooked up with his exes , never re - visited fields that he had already ploughed . There 'd be a gift , one phone call ; the mark of the English gentleman that he was , but when it was over , it was over . Isabella must have sensed his boredom . " You and me , we 're good together , " she had reminded him earlier , as she had sat astride him , still panting . And Alex had smiled . But once they were back in LA he knew they 'd be over . He 'd made a life of loving and leaving women . There was no reason to change his ways now . On a drizzly London morning we finally got into the studio and I saw the team work their magic and call Action ! Having worked so long on writing The Modeliser , it 's been amazing flexing different brain muscles and coming up with a simple concept for the trailer alongside the director and DP was a lot of fun as was my day on set . I have to thank all the amazing folks who gave their time so generously for my mega almost no - budget shoot . The Modeliser - Visual Inspiration So excited by the 4 and 5 * reviews over on amazon . com . And in particular by the fact that several reviews commented that the book felt like a movie to them . Since my day job involves working in the film and TV industry this makes sense and I 'm really glad that the pace and visual ambitions that I had for the book are coming across . During the writing of the book I created a visual mood board to keep me going . So I 'd love to share with you my Pinterest board for The Modeliser . Check it out HERE . What do you think ? What images would you add ? If you 've already finished the book , why don 't you do your own Modeliser board and share it with me ? June 1st is finally here ! ! ! ! No more sleeps . The Modeliser is Out Now . Well , it has been out for a couple of days as spotted by some of you eagle eyed readers but now it 's officially dropped and we can all shout from the rooftops about it , maybe ? Thanks to all the readers , bloggers and reviewers who have reached out already . I 'm hoping to get the book out there as far and wide as possible , so a big thanks to those who 've already added it on Goodreads or bought , read and reviewed it . Please don 't hesitate to get in touch if you 're a reviewer or blogger interested in the book . You can still read the teasers from the book in my earlier blog posts . Or head over to Goodreads and see what other readers are saying . In my WHERE TO DOWNLOAD link , you can find out where to get your hands on The Modeliser . Big thanks for checking out this blog and hopefully this book . Advance Review of The Modeliser With a day to go till the official release date for The Modeliser , I 'm so excited by this review of the book from the lovely ladies at Brittany & Bianca Blab Books . Transitioning , from a reader who visits and reads awesome book blogs to discover great new reads , into someone who is being reviewed on the very same blogs is huge . So a big thank you to Bianca for her fab review . So glad she enjoyed it . As my mother tells it , in the last few weeks of her pregnancy with me , she had to put up with all manner of discomfort , swollen ankles and back pain during an unexpectedly warm London summer while I took my sweet time about emerging into the world . I was about two weeks overdue and it seems ever since that first late arrival , I 've spent my life with an almost obsessive desire to be early for things . I am that friend who tells you to arrive 45 minutes before dinner reservations . I get to the airport for international flights 4 hours early just in case . I have my bedside alarm clock set 15 mins fast . With this background in mind , it should come as no surprise that in the release of my debut novel , I 've once again been trigger happy and hit publish a little bit early . Now the words premature release are not what you might want to hear in connection with a steamy , romance novel . . . but go with me on this . For you Kindle / Amazon folk . . . now 's your chance to get your hands on The Modeliser a whole three days early ahead of your Nook / iBook / Smashwords and Kobo brethren . That 's it ! Get entering and Please make sure to record your entry in the widget below so that your entry is recorded . Also , do spread the word about the contest . The contest ends on May 26th at Midnight . There are just 21 days to go before The Modeliser is released and I can finally share the book with the world ! I 'm ridiculously excited that the culmination of so much hard work and angst and frantic typing is just around the corner . . . . And yet there is still so much to do . Not least a very exciting giveaway coming very soon . So stay tuned ! As I walked amongst the dreaming Spires that have been such an inspiration for Book 2 , I thought about the gestation of The Modeliser and the various disparate ideas , thoughts and sparks that eventually came together to form the spine of the book . And I leave you with an image of one place that I frequented a lot during the writing of The Modeliser and which turns up in the book . Hampstead Heath . Hampstead Heath is an ancient and glorious London park in the North West of London . Records of the Heath date back to 986 and in the novel you 'll see that Talia spends a lot of time on the Heath . When I was writing The Modeliser , I used to take " plot walks " on Hampstead Heath where I 'd walk to clear my head and plot and plan and solve niggling story problems . Girl Meets Boy - A New Series Too often lately , I 've found myself sitting through a supposedly romantic movie and groaning through the cliches and thinking : Why ? How ? Who are these people that exist only in romantic movie land ? Who are these women who trip over their toes every five minutes and can 't seem to hold a thought for half a second . What is this weird misogyny masquerading as a plot point ? What is this crappy , implausible meet - cute and why oh why don 't these actors have any chemistry together ? As I sat through another insulting romance on TV the other day , I decided I 'd start blogging , not about the bad , infuriating , patronising ones but about all the romantic movies that I 've loved and what I loved about them . And also about the upcoming romantic movies that I hope might be worth the trip to the cinema and the cost of the popcorn . According to Hollywood it 's Boy Meets Girl , Boy Loses Girl , Boy Gets Girl Back . This paradigm has become the dominant form of so many Hollywood Romantic comedies for decades but in the last few years it 's started to feel as though the paradigm has been tested to its limits , that the rom - com is broken . Growing up on films like Sleepless in Seattle , Four Weddings and a Funeral , Pretty Woman , Love and Basketball , Working Girl and When Harry Met Sally , I 've always loved a good romantic film and for me romance encompasses a broader umbrella than just the increasingly creaky rom - com form . I love romantic dramas , romantic thrillers ( Unfaithful , anyone ? ) , bittersweet romances and all the category defying romantic stories in between . Though they have been few and far between lately there have also been a few recent romantic films that I 've loved . Friends With Benefits ( the one with Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis - NOT the other one with the similar title ) was a totally unexpected treat , Something New was a much needed fresh perspective and Ruby Sparks was a sharp , inspiring , Indie , feminist and tricky romantic , anti - romantic eye - opener ( just watch it ! ) . At the moment I 'm anticipating Before Midnight so much that I probably need to give myself a stern talking to so my expectations don 't ruin it for me . As a writer of romantic fiction , it 's safe to say that romantic films and of course books have had a pretty big hand in my development . From my slight over - investment in Jo and Professor Bhaer 's relationship in Little Women to my obsessive suppert of Eric / Sookie in both the Sookie Stackhouse Books and True Blood Series , to the fact that I 've watched Notting Hill a disturbing number of times , I have learned a lot from and been inspired by good romantic books and films . It 's safe to say that these books and films have uplifted me , given me hope when I felt I 'd have train - tracks on my teeth till I died and acne forever . They 've probably also massively distorted my expectations of my romantic life . . . but that 's another story . So the aim of my new series of posts GIRL MEETS BOY will be to blog about those romantic films and also TV romances or romantic arcs in TV shows that have moved , excited and challenged me . I hope you 'll join the conversation too , in the comments below and also on Twitter and on Facebook . What are your favaourite romantic movies and why ? I 'm eager to grow my must - watch list of good ' uns . And check back next week where I shall be blogging , without shame about my love of Hugh Grant in most things but specifically in Notting Hill . Drop me a comment if there are any other romantic films , which you think I should check out . Havana . xox . Posted by Last week I had a ball chatting with fellow author Ember Casey and over on her blog she featured a Q & A with me and hosted a brand new teaser from The Modeliser . I also ran a Q & A with Ember here where we talked writing , romance and procrastination woes and also her upcoming novel . So I 'm excited to share a new teaser from Ember 's novel His Wicked Games which drops on June 11th . Do check out Ember 's blog for more about the book and don 't forget , she is running a giveaway right now ! To be in with a chance of winning an Amazon gift card and advance review copies of both His Wicked Games and The Modeliser , be sure to enter the giveaway here . Now for the Tuesday Teaser from His Wicked Games . Let 's just say there 's a pool involved . . . . and we might all need some cooling down after . . . . Enjoy ! " I 'm not going to swim in my jeans , " he says matter - of - factly . His fingers pause on the zipper . " You 're welcome to join me , of course . " He shrugs . " Suit yourself . You 're missing out , though . " He unzips his jeans and slides them down in one movement , revealing a pair of dark boxer - briefs . " I - I 'm not watching , " I say , quickly turning away . " You 're the one who tore off your pants without warning . " I imagine I 'm the color of a ripe tomato right about now . " Forgive me , " he says , his voice thick with amusement . " I didn 't mean to give offense . I was only suggesting that by this point in your life you 've probably seen a naked man or two - unless I 'm mistaken ? " " I 'm not a virgin , " I say , rolling my eyes . " But that doesn 't mean I 'm okay with men just stripping off their clothes in front of me . " No , but I 'm all right with spying on those same men while they pleasure themselves in their bedroom . " Where 's your sense of adventure ? " he says . " May I remind you that you broke onto my property ? That I had to wrestle you down in the mud ? Certainly you can 't be afraid of taking a little dip in the rain . " " I 'm not afraid , " I say , spinning on him angrily . He 's closer than I thought - just in front of me now . There 's still a bit of amusement around the corners of his mouth , but his dark eyes bore into me . Butterflies dance in my stomach . " I … " I don 't know what to say . I don 't have an excuse , not really , except for the general sense that this is a bad , bad idea . The Cunninghams have long held a reputation for being eccentric - and secretive . When Lily breaks onto their estate , she only wants to find and reason with Calder . The Cunningham family was the Frazer Center 's largest benefactor for years - until Calder took over the family funds and broke the pledge contract without warning . Now the Center is on the brink of closing , and she 's desperate to save the institution her father founded . But Calder turns out to be more than she bargained for . He 's willing to consider her pleas - but for a price . Lily must indulge his whims , play along with his games - all while confined to his mysterious mansion - or she 'll never get the funds to save the Center . She must decide : play the mouse to his cat , or lose the organization she and her father spent their blood , sweat , and tears to build . Hey Ember , Thanks for stopping by . So tell us about His Wicked Games . How did the idea first come to you ? I started His Wicked Games when I was agonizing over rewrites of a YA novel . In the YA , I was struggling with the romantic relationship ( or lack thereof ) between the two main characters . I just couldn 't make it work . His Wicked Gamesbegan as a side project , an exercise in building sexual tension , but it just took off - before long , I 'd pushed the YA novel aside to dive full force into the story of Lily and Calder . I love stories where the heroine starts off with a negative opinion of the hero ( you can blame Pride and Prejudice for that ) , and I wanted to explore the passion of a love / hate relationship . What drew you to writing sexy , romantic fiction ? And what tips do you have on writing a hot sex scene . What makes a good romantic / sexy novel ? Who doesn 't love a good love story ? I think the key to a great romance novel is tension . Sexual tension , of course , but also just the good old - fashioned conflict you get between two characters with fire and passion to spare . I personally believe that the hottest sex scenes are a culmination ( and explosion ! ) of the emotional , physical , and situational tension between two characters . They might signal an awakening , a shift of power , or something else , but they should change the dynamic of the relationship in some way or another , even if it 's only the subtlest of emotional shifts . What books / authors inspire you ? What / Who are you reading at the moment ? I read a bunch of genres - romance , of course , but I also love YA , historical fiction , and fantasy ( I 'm currently obsessed with the Song of Ice and Fire series ) . I 've also been reading a lot of NA recently - I 'm currently in the middle of Arranged by Sara Wolf , which I 'm really loving - and I 'm excited to see where this relatively new genre is heading . I 've been writing most of my life ( cliché , I know … ) I still have copies of the stories they made us write in elementary school . The oldest is from first grade - it 's called " The Candy Princess , " and it 's about a princess who lives in a world of candy . ( Genius , right ? ) I started writing with the intent to publish a few years ago , but the first couple of novels I wrote were honestly pretty bad ( and will never , ever see the light of day ) . I feel like some of us have to spit out a couple of crappy " starter " novels before we figure out who we are as a writer ( or maybe that 's just me , haha ) . Tell us about your writing process ? If I 'm being honest , it goes something like this : write a little , putz around on Twitter , write a little more , watch some videos on YouTube , write a little more , check email / Facebook / Reddit … You get where this is going . As far as my long - term process is concerned , I 'm a major re - writer . It usually takes me half a draft to figure out the core of the story I 'm trying to write , and then I have to go back to the beginning and rework everything again . I usually put my work through several drafts before I let anyone else see it . So what 's next ? Are you already working on Book 2 ? Will it be a sequel or a new story ? Though His Wicked Games could stand alone , I wanted to continue Lily and Calder 's story . The next installment will be a novella , and it should be released at the end of June ( so readers won 't have to wait long ! ) . I 'll be releasing more details about it in the coming month . J When is His Wicked Games released ? It will be released on Amazon , Barnes & Noble , and Smashwords on June 11 , 2013 . In the meantime you can find it on Goodreads - His Wicked Games Bad Boys , Inspiration & a Giveaway . Creating Alex Golden , the legendary bad boy of The Modeliser was a lot of fun and whilst I put a lot of thought and imagination into creating a gorgeous hero - a British actor who has managed to take Hollywood and the ladies by storm . It 's safe to say that along the way I found time to peruse the internet for some inspiration . Or do I mean Sinspiration ? Check out a few of the images that inspired me ( there are a whole lot more ! ) And yes I love my job and I 'm totally Team Eric , most of the time . . . There 's just something about Bad Boys in film , TV , fiction , music and even in real life that holds women in their thrall , even when we should know better ! In fiction , we 've seen a massive rise of bad boys with a side of angst , vulnerability and a few spare Billions . And , From James Dean and Marlon Brando , Hollywood bad boys of yesteryear to today 's crop of dangerous - to - know leading men the trend is still alive and well . On TV we have Don Draper in Mad Men , The King Slayer in Game of Thrones and who isn 't partial to a bit of Chuck Bass in Gossip Girl ? In The Modeliser , I drew inspiration from Hollywood bad boys both historical and contemporary in creating Alex Golden 's character , so for my first giveaway I 'm asking who is your favourite Hollywood Bad Boy ? I 'll be giving away 2 Advance Review Copies ( PDF ) of The Modeliser on May 4th and I 'll pick the winners at random . To enter this giveaway simply head on over to my Facebook Page , Like my page AND write on my wall to tell me who your favourite Hollywood Bad Boy is . Or you can comment below this post or you can Tweet me your answer and Hash Tag your answer # TheModeliserGiveaway . I 'll pick two winners at random on May 4th so get entering ! Look forward to your entries ! Havana Adams is a London girl who left her heart in NYC and has collected a crazy amount of airmiles dashing back and forth across the pond . When she 's not plotting steamy romance novels , she works in the film and TV industry , which is the inspiration behind her first novel The Modeliser . Havana loves movies , TV , reading , sporty things and baking cakes . View my complete profile
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Description : Trapped with a billionaire in his mysterious mansion . . . can she beat him at his own game ? Lily would do anything to save her father 's struggling arts center - even indulge the strange sexual whims of the brooding Calder Cunningham . A contemporary , steamy take on Beauty and the Beast . Description : Detective Mark Harrison has never needed an assistant before . But when artist Nikki Reed walks into his office by accident , there 's a spark between them that neither can deny . They have to be careful , though . . . every detective has a past , and the secrets in Mark 's could prove deadly to both of them . Description : What happens when your head and your heart pull you in completely opposite directions ? April Adams is about to find out the hard way . Join April as she embarks on a life changing journey of love and loss , which will have you laughing and crying until the very end . Description : When financial problems force Isabelle Andrews to abandon her dreams of attending a top - tier university in favor of community college , she thinks her educational career is over before it 's begun . But unexpected new experiences and relationships - - including her growing attraction to a certain TA - - help Isabelle learn that sometimes , the most precious things are found in the last places you 'd think to look . Title : The Modeliser Author : Havana Adams Genre : Contemporary Romance Description : Erotic model by day , biochemistry student by night . Evan Cosette 's secret career is keeping her tuition paid and putting enough money in her account for grad school . Will her new sexy coworker make her famous , or ruin it all ? Title : V Club Kristen has spent countless nights in V Clubs across the globe searching for her maker and true love , Jake . Every fiber of her being longs to feel his touch again . Will tonight be the night she gets her wish , or will someone else take his place in her immortal heart ? Description : For as long as Claudia could remember , she knew that there was something wrong with our world . The facts just didn 't add up . For a young law graduate in search of the truth , it was not just a job , it was a means to find out more . Who are the mysterious Immortelle ? What are they ? And what is their interest in her family ? Even saying it aloud " Sunshine In London " sounds wrong , like a disaster movie in which some rogue asteroid is about to wipe us all out . I read somewhere recently that up to 40 % of Londoners might be Vitamin D deficient . That 's right 40 % ! ! ! The lack of sunshine on this small island is a serious issue and for people of colour whose natural melanin protection makes it even harder for the sun to penetrate it . . . . well it 's no joke . Therefore , the fact that it has been sunny in London for 3 STRAIGHT DAYS feels like a miracle . And what with Andy Murray becoming the first British male to win the Wimbledon singles title in 77 years * , it 's been a great excuse to head to the park with a good book and bask in the great weather and good temper . Sisterland by Curtis Sittenfeld . I finished this really quickly . I love Sittenfeld 's writing and was totally engrossed by this book for the first three quarters and then the ending really lost me , as in went from a 4 , maybe 4 . 5 to maybe a 3 . I 'm a bit heartbroken by the disappointing ending , which I found totally unrewarding and unconvincing . The Shining Girls by Lauren Beukes * Though the media coverage in the UK might have chosen to forget about them , there have been other British winners at Wimbledon in the last 77 years . Dreadfully overlooked is Virginia Wade who won the women 's singles title in 1977 . In addition Laura Robson was a Wimbledon Juniors champion . And Jamie Murray and Jelena Jankovich won the mixed doubles in 2007 . There are probably others but apparently the lazy media can 't even be bothered to search wiki . . . Also fairly hideous has been the lazy and mean spirited comments about the awesome , inspiring athlete Marion Bartoli . You can still check out all of those teasers but I thought I 'd keep it simple and just share with you the beginning of The Modeliser . So here 's the prologue and first chapter . I hope you enjoy it and it makes you want to read more . " We are back live in 15 seconds . Camera One - ready . Presenters - Best Adapted Screenplay to the stage . Live in 10 , 9 , 8 … " As the award show 's director barked out instructions , Alex walked backstage in a daze as a whirlwind of activity spun around him . Immediately , he spotted a woman in a striking crimson dress watching him from across the chaos of the green room . His palm was warm against the surprisingly heavy gold statuette and though outwardly composed , inside he was in a state of shock , drinking in the sight of Streep and Nicholson as they swept by him onto the stage to present the next award . Alex 's eyes were once again drawn to the woman who was watching him . In the sea of famous faces and celebrities , producers , PRs and hanger - ons , somehow this woman , in her red dress , held his attention . She pushed forward , coming to stand in front of him , her right hand already held out . Close up , Alex saw that she was older than he 'd initially thought . Yet for a woman who must be in her forties , the body was still killer . His eyes ate her up , skimming from the large breasts , which oozed over the top of the corseted red dress , to the slim waist and then the flare of generous hips . His gaze moved back up to her eyes and with a start Alex saw that the woman 's eyes were narrowed , with a hint of knowing amusement . This wasn 't the usual response that he got from women . He switched the gold statuette to his left hand and gave her a firm handshake . He was sure that he didn 't know this woman , but in the three weeks of meetings , junkets and publicity since he had landed in LA , he 'd learned that people did this here , that sometimes for no reason at all , they 'd stop to talk to you , that somehow , everybody , just everybody was in the business and wanted to know about his " little English movie . " Any paparazzo worth his salt would kill to capture the image of movie star Alex Golden , Hollywood 's legendary Modeliser , sprawled almost naked but for a pair of Gucci board shorts that hung low down on his hips , revealing a perfectly smooth chest and tanned , ripped , Hollywood perfected abs . Next to him lay a woman whose triple threat of lips , breasts and legs had made grown men weep , and more besides . Alex reclined on a sun bed , as he stared out on the startling Azure blue sea at the exclusive resort on the Mexican coastline . In the distance came whoops and squeals of a group of people on powerful jet skis as they skimmed across the horizon , shooting plumes of water in the air behind them . Just watching them made Alex feel tired and he pushed his sunglasses down on his face . " Christ my head is pounding , " he muttered the words with a small groan but was met with silence . He turned with a lazy glance , reaching out to touch the woman next to him . His hand skimmed her flat abdomen , before falling away . They hadn 't stayed long at the film premiere after - party the night before . Just long enough for Alex to be photographed next to his ambitious young co - star , model turned actress Tyler Link , and of course long enough for him to be nursing a hangover as a result of too much Vintage Perrier Jouet champagne , which had been free - flowing at the VIP After - Party . For a moment Alex was filled with a beat of nostalgia , you 're getting old a voice in his head taunted him . Shaking the thought away , Alex rose to his feet , turning to stand over the sun lounger next to his . " You 're blocking my sunlight . " Isabella finally spoke , pouting sulkily and yet so prettily as the words whispered out of her pink and improbably plump lips . Alex watched her for a moment . Most of her face was obscured by the large brim of a white Dior sunhat but what was visible of her was still incredible . Still recognisable as the face and body of Isabella Murada , one of the world 's highest paid supermodels . She and Alex shared a publicist , who had introduced them at some charity benefit in Los Angeles . Alex had only just ended another headline - grabbing fling with a swimwear model and the timing had been good . That same night he 'd taken Isabella back to his suite at Chateau Marmont and they 'd been together the last five months , which by his usual standards , was practically an eternity . He continued to stare down at Isabella knowing that she would soon snap . A devoted sun worshipper , Isabella hated the possibility of tanning unevenly . He stared at her lips , which were thrust forward sulkily and his eyes drifted lower to the unselfconscious way that she tanned topless . He leaned down to stroke a finger across her nipple . " Come into the water , " he asked softly . Her breasts were large , gorgeous and fake , of course , but still with enough softness and movement in them to fool the untutored observer . He , however , was an expert . How could he not be , after ten years of fucking models and starlets ? Mostly Alex liked the rough Portuguese twang in her Brazilian accented English , but some days like today , the harsh sounds grated . " You 're not still angry ? " He gritted his teeth . Isabella could carry a grudge and her silent treatments had been known to last for days . With a sigh he banked down his building irritation with her . " Isabella , " he cajoled softly . " You embarrass me at the premiere , laughing and joking for the cameras with that , that … model . " Her words were hissed out of pursed lips and Alex fought to hide his disinterest , which was laced too with some amusement . The contempt with which she spat the word model , might lead anyone to think that she wasn 't one herself . " Tyler is my co - star , I didn 't have much choice . " Alex sighed as Isabella folded her arms beneath her breasts and turned her head away so that all that he could see was her jaw and the perfect , unblemished profile that had fronted countless cosmetic campaigns and adorned billboards in Milan , Paris , New York and London . " Fine , " he said and with a shrug he turned and walked towards the pool and dived in with a clean , perfect arc that caused barely a ripple . After pounding the length of the pool for several long minutes ; as much to escape the heat of Isabella 's building temper as to cool down , Alex levered himself out of the pool and again looked towards the sea . She was no longer in her sun lounger . Grabbing his towel , he dried his hair roughly , even as the hot sun rapidly dried his skin , till only a few droplets kissed his muscular shoulders . A little way from the house , he spotted a movement and grimaced watching as the blistering sun , flashed and reflected against something hidden behind the bushes . It was a tell which Alex had grown familiar with these last ten years ; the paparazzi had found them . For the first time in the last few weeks , Alex felt the tension drain away from him ; his feet warmed by the terracotta of the stone brick floors , which baked in the sun as he moved into the house . Though Avital , his agent , hid it well , he had sensed her tension , had known that she and the studios were closely watching his latest film . He was no brainless himbo , he too had noted that though they were still hitting number one , his films weren 't doing what they used to at the Box Office . He knew without anyone telling him that Deadlock had to reach number one and stay there . As he padded around the villa , there was still no sign of Isabella and he was not inclined to go and find her . Now , with a clearer head , he looked around the opulent open plan living room . Their stay here had come courtesy of millionaire producer and Hollywood royalty , Milo Levy . The paintings that last night he and Isabella had brushed past without even a glance were in the light of day revealed to be Picasso sketches and vibrant Modigliani nudes that wouldn 't be out of place in some national gallery somewhere . Alex smiled and slumped down onto a white chaise lounge in the living room , fumbling around for the TV remote , which he used to flick on the massive plasma screen TV that was mounted on a wall . For a couple of minutes , he channel surfed without interest , finally tossing aside the remote as he spotted his Mulberry overnight bag where he had carelessly dumped it the night before . He reached into it pulling out a platinum Vertu mobile phone . He had several missed calls , most of which he wouldn 't return . The last name on the list was his sister 's and he clicked on it , feeling a twinge of guilt . He 'd missed several telephone calls from her in the last few days and with the crazy schedule of promotion in the lead up to the film 's release , he 'd not had a chance to call her back . Leaning back into the sofa , he prepared to return his sister 's call when something on the television caught his attention . It was an image of himself . Not that this was an unusual occurrence but curious in spite of himself , Alex threw aside his phone and flicked the volume up with the television remote . Now he spotted that the TV was on Z News , a Hollywood celebrity news channel , which seemed inescapable wherever one was in the world . The presenter was in full flow . " And Hollywood buzz is saying the Alex Golden is out and Max Maguire is in for the big budget adventure trilogy Defender , we 'll have more on this breaking story as it comes in . " For a moment Alex was frozen as the photograph of Max Maguire flicked off the screen to be replaced by another image as the presenter moved on . He flicked the TV back to silent , noting in a beat that the tension in his neck was back . Alex had never been especially competitive , but Max Maguire infuriated him as few others could . Somehow he seemed determined to cast himself as " The New Alex Golden " and in recent months they had butted heads and wound up in talks for the same roles . Not that he needed to compete for scripts but something about Max unsettled him , not least that he was five years younger than him . Alex had been determined to land the title role in Defender , a trilogy of films from Australian director Cole Sidney that seemed likely to do for sci - fi , what Lord of the Rings had done for fantasy . The buzz was immense and he had assumed , after a chat with the director that the arrival of an offer was a mere formality . The azure blue of the sea that had been so calming now had little effect on him , all he could feel was the onset of a pounding headache . He would have to call Avital . " I 've been waiting for you , " she pouted at him , this time with a hint of the mischievous smile that made men go weak . Alex grimaced ; he hadn 't time for Isabella , not now . He turned his back on her , reaching for his mobile phone . " I have to call Avital . " He scrolled through his contacts list , even as he could hear the faint slap of Isabella 's bare feet against the floor as she moved towards him . As he was about to connect the call , he felt a whisper of silk , followed by her naked breasts , pressed against his back . " Do you have to ? " She asked . Though it wasn 't really a question . She 'd already traced her cool hands around his narrow waist and up his chest , to his arm before gently squeezing his bicep . She took the phone out of his hand and threw it onto the sofa , where it landed silently on the thick pile of cushions . Then , she snaked her arm around his waist again and pulled him around to face her . Isabella pressed herself against him , pinning him to the cabinet behind them . Her tongue flicked out to lick her bee - stung lips and Alex followed the movement with a hungry look , already diverted from his plan ; Avital could wait . She leaned in and teased his lips with her tongue and then , in that way that she did , she kissed him , hard . He 'd always been struck by the forceful , almost masculine single - mindedness that Isabella brought to sex ; how she always made sure to take her pleasure first . But tonight it seemed her earlier bad mood was forgotten and it was all about him . She kissed him again , her tongue fighting with his , biting his lower lip roughly and then she leaned down to lick his nipple , before slowly sinking to her knees . Freeing him from his swimming shorts , she made a deep appreciative noise in her throat as she gripped him tight before slowly starting to stroke her hand up and down . As she bent to kiss the tip , she looked up and winked at him and Alex gave a short , breathless bark of laughter . Later , as they lay in the massive bed on 750 - thread count Egyptian cotton sheets , the windows thrown open so that the silvery white light of the full moon flickered into the room , Alex watched Isabella sleep , as she always did , naked on her back . One arm was flung over her head and the other rested low on her abdomen . Even in sleep she looked ready for sex . He would miss her , he thought . Isabella was a smart girl and in a town defined by transactional relationships , where everyone used everyone , Alex understood her desire to be with him . She had left a Spanish millionaire for him and though the sex was good , great even , Alex wasn 't so arrogant as to think that was the full story . Isabella was 28 , in model years practically middle - aged . She was a woman looking for her next step , she wanted to make the crossover from model to actress and she 'd decided that he was her ticket there . He hadn 't minded really but somehow this afternoon , he 'd realised that he was bored , that he needed something new , some new challenge . He needed to shake things up and as every model that had gone before Isabella had learned , when Alex moved on , he was gone . The shift was brutal and immediate and Alex had perfected a principle of never going back and never looking back . He never hooked up with his exes , never re - visited fields that he had already ploughed . There 'd be a gift , one phone call ; the mark of the English gentleman that he was , but when it was over , it was over . Isabella must have sensed his boredom . " You and me , we 're good together , " she had reminded him earlier , as she had sat astride him , still panting . And Alex had smiled . But once they were back in LA he knew they 'd be over . He 'd made a life of loving and leaving women . There was no reason to change his ways now . On a drizzly London morning we finally got into the studio and I saw the team work their magic and call Action ! Having worked so long on writing The Modeliser , it 's been amazing flexing different brain muscles and coming up with a simple concept for the trailer alongside the director and DP was a lot of fun as was my day on set . I have to thank all the amazing folks who gave their time so generously for my mega almost no - budget shoot . The Modeliser - Visual Inspiration So excited by the 4 and 5 * reviews over on amazon . com . And in particular by the fact that several reviews commented that the book felt like a movie to them . Since my day job involves working in the film and TV industry this makes sense and I 'm really glad that the pace and visual ambitions that I had for the book are coming across . During the writing of the book I created a visual mood board to keep me going . So I 'd love to share with you my Pinterest board for The Modeliser . Check it out HERE . What do you think ? What images would you add ? If you 've already finished the book , why don 't you do your own Modeliser board and share it with me ? June 1st is finally here ! ! ! ! No more sleeps . The Modeliser is Out Now . Well , it has been out for a couple of days as spotted by some of you eagle eyed readers but now it 's officially dropped and we can all shout from the rooftops about it , maybe ? Thanks to all the readers , bloggers and reviewers who have reached out already . I 'm hoping to get the book out there as far and wide as possible , so a big thanks to those who 've already added it on Goodreads or bought , read and reviewed it . Please don 't hesitate to get in touch if you 're a reviewer or blogger interested in the book . You can still read the teasers from the book in my earlier blog posts . Or head over to Goodreads and see what other readers are saying . In my WHERE TO DOWNLOAD link , you can find out where to get your hands on The Modeliser . Big thanks for checking out this blog and hopefully this book . Advance Review of The Modeliser With a day to go till the official release date for The Modeliser , I 'm so excited by this review of the book from the lovely ladies at Brittany & Bianca Blab Books . Transitioning , from a reader who visits and reads awesome book blogs to discover great new reads , into someone who is being reviewed on the very same blogs is huge . So a big thank you to Bianca for her fab review . So glad she enjoyed it . As my mother tells it , in the last few weeks of her pregnancy with me , she had to put up with all manner of discomfort , swollen ankles and back pain during an unexpectedly warm London summer while I took my sweet time about emerging into the world . I was about two weeks overdue and it seems ever since that first late arrival , I 've spent my life with an almost obsessive desire to be early for things . I am that friend who tells you to arrive 45 minutes before dinner reservations . I get to the airport for international flights 4 hours early just in case . I have my bedside alarm clock set 15 mins fast . With this background in mind , it should come as no surprise that in the release of my debut novel , I 've once again been trigger happy and hit publish a little bit early . Now the words premature release are not what you might want to hear in connection with a steamy , romance novel . . . but go with me on this . For you Kindle / Amazon folk . . . now 's your chance to get your hands on The Modeliser a whole three days early ahead of your Nook / iBook / Smashwords and Kobo brethren . That 's it ! Get entering and Please make sure to record your entry in the widget below so that your entry is recorded . Also , do spread the word about the contest . The contest ends on May 26th at Midnight . There are just 21 days to go before The Modeliser is released and I can finally share the book with the world ! I 'm ridiculously excited that the culmination of so much hard work and angst and frantic typing is just around the corner . . . . And yet there is still so much to do . Not least a very exciting giveaway coming very soon . So stay tuned ! As I walked amongst the dreaming Spires that have been such an inspiration for Book 2 , I thought about the gestation of The Modeliser and the various disparate ideas , thoughts and sparks that eventually came together to form the spine of the book . And I leave you with an image of one place that I frequented a lot during the writing of The Modeliser and which turns up in the book . Hampstead Heath . Hampstead Heath is an ancient and glorious London park in the North West of London . Records of the Heath date back to 986 and in the novel you 'll see that Talia spends a lot of time on the Heath . When I was writing The Modeliser , I used to take " plot walks " on Hampstead Heath where I 'd walk to clear my head and plot and plan and solve niggling story problems . Girl Meets Boy - A New Series Too often lately , I 've found myself sitting through a supposedly romantic movie and groaning through the cliches and thinking : Why ? How ? Who are these people that exist only in romantic movie land ? Who are these women who trip over their toes every five minutes and can 't seem to hold a thought for half a second . What is this weird misogyny masquerading as a plot point ? What is this crappy , implausible meet - cute and why oh why don 't these actors have any chemistry together ? As I sat through another insulting romance on TV the other day , I decided I 'd start blogging , not about the bad , infuriating , patronising ones but about all the romantic movies that I 've loved and what I loved about them . And also about the upcoming romantic movies that I hope might be worth the trip to the cinema and the cost of the popcorn . According to Hollywood it 's Boy Meets Girl , Boy Loses Girl , Boy Gets Girl Back . This paradigm has become the dominant form of so many Hollywood Romantic comedies for decades but in the last few years it 's started to feel as though the paradigm has been tested to its limits , that the rom - com is broken . Growing up on films like Sleepless in Seattle , Four Weddings and a Funeral , Pretty Woman , Love and Basketball , Working Girl and When Harry Met Sally , I 've always loved a good romantic film and for me romance encompasses a broader umbrella than just the increasingly creaky rom - com form . I love romantic dramas , romantic thrillers ( Unfaithful , anyone ? ) , bittersweet romances and all the category defying romantic stories in between . Though they have been few and far between lately there have also been a few recent romantic films that I 've loved . Friends With Benefits ( the one with Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis - NOT the other one with the similar title ) was a totally unexpected treat , Something New was a much needed fresh perspective and Ruby Sparks was a sharp , inspiring , Indie , feminist and tricky romantic , anti - romantic eye - opener ( just watch it ! ) . At the moment I 'm anticipating Before Midnight so much that I probably need to give myself a stern talking to so my expectations don 't ruin it for me . As a writer of romantic fiction , it 's safe to say that romantic films and of course books have had a pretty big hand in my development . From my slight over - investment in Jo and Professor Bhaer 's relationship in Little Women to my obsessive suppert of Eric / Sookie in both the Sookie Stackhouse Books and True Blood Series , to the fact that I 've watched Notting Hill a disturbing number of times , I have learned a lot from and been inspired by good romantic books and films . It 's safe to say that these books and films have uplifted me , given me hope when I felt I 'd have train - tracks on my teeth till I died and acne forever . They 've probably also massively distorted my expectations of my romantic life . . . but that 's another story . So the aim of my new series of posts GIRL MEETS BOY will be to blog about those romantic films and also TV romances or romantic arcs in TV shows that have moved , excited and challenged me . I hope you 'll join the conversation too , in the comments below and also on Twitter and on Facebook . What are your favaourite romantic movies and why ? I 'm eager to grow my must - watch list of good ' uns . And check back next week where I shall be blogging , without shame about my love of Hugh Grant in most things but specifically in Notting Hill . Drop me a comment if there are any other romantic films , which you think I should check out . Havana . xox . Posted by Last week I had a ball chatting with fellow author Ember Casey and over on her blog she featured a Q & A with me and hosted a brand new teaser from The Modeliser . I also ran a Q & A with Ember here where we talked writing , romance and procrastination woes and also her upcoming novel . So I 'm excited to share a new teaser from Ember 's novel His Wicked Games which drops on June 11th . Do check out Ember 's blog for more about the book and don 't forget , she is running a giveaway right now ! To be in with a chance of winning an Amazon gift card and advance review copies of both His Wicked Games and The Modeliser , be sure to enter the giveaway here . Now for the Tuesday Teaser from His Wicked Games . Let 's just say there 's a pool involved . . . . and we might all need some cooling down after . . . . Enjoy ! " I 'm not going to swim in my jeans , " he says matter - of - factly . His fingers pause on the zipper . " You 're welcome to join me , of course . " He shrugs . " Suit yourself . You 're missing out , though . " He unzips his jeans and slides them down in one movement , revealing a pair of dark boxer - briefs . " I - I 'm not watching , " I say , quickly turning away . " You 're the one who tore off your pants without warning . " I imagine I 'm the color of a ripe tomato right about now . " Forgive me , " he says , his voice thick with amusement . " I didn 't mean to give offense . I was only suggesting that by this point in your life you 've probably seen a naked man or two - unless I 'm mistaken ? " " I 'm not a virgin , " I say , rolling my eyes . " But that doesn 't mean I 'm okay with men just stripping off their clothes in front of me . " No , but I 'm all right with spying on those same men while they pleasure themselves in their bedroom . " Where 's your sense of adventure ? " he says . " May I remind you that you broke onto my property ? That I had to wrestle you down in the mud ? Certainly you can 't be afraid of taking a little dip in the rain . " " I 'm not afraid , " I say , spinning on him angrily . He 's closer than I thought - just in front of me now . There 's still a bit of amusement around the corners of his mouth , but his dark eyes bore into me . Butterflies dance in my stomach . " I … " I don 't know what to say . I don 't have an excuse , not really , except for the general sense that this is a bad , bad idea . The Cunninghams have long held a reputation for being eccentric - and secretive . When Lily breaks onto their estate , she only wants to find and reason with Calder . The Cunningham family was the Frazer Center 's largest benefactor for years - until Calder took over the family funds and broke the pledge contract without warning . Now the Center is on the brink of closing , and she 's desperate to save the institution her father founded . But Calder turns out to be more than she bargained for . He 's willing to consider her pleas - but for a price . Lily must indulge his whims , play along with his games - all while confined to his mysterious mansion - or she 'll never get the funds to save the Center . She must decide : play the mouse to his cat , or lose the organization she and her father spent their blood , sweat , and tears to build . Hey Ember , Thanks for stopping by . So tell us about His Wicked Games . How did the idea first come to you ? I started His Wicked Games when I was agonizing over rewrites of a YA novel . In the YA , I was struggling with the romantic relationship ( or lack thereof ) between the two main characters . I just couldn 't make it work . His Wicked Gamesbegan as a side project , an exercise in building sexual tension , but it just took off - before long , I 'd pushed the YA novel aside to dive full force into the story of Lily and Calder . I love stories where the heroine starts off with a negative opinion of the hero ( you can blame Pride and Prejudice for that ) , and I wanted to explore the passion of a love / hate relationship . What drew you to writing sexy , romantic fiction ? And what tips do you have on writing a hot sex scene . What makes a good romantic / sexy novel ? Who doesn 't love a good love story ? I think the key to a great romance novel is tension . Sexual tension , of course , but also just the good old - fashioned conflict you get between two characters with fire and passion to spare . I personally believe that the hottest sex scenes are a culmination ( and explosion ! ) of the emotional , physical , and situational tension between two characters . They might signal an awakening , a shift of power , or something else , but they should change the dynamic of the relationship in some way or another , even if it 's only the subtlest of emotional shifts . What books / authors inspire you ? What / Who are you reading at the moment ? I read a bunch of genres - romance , of course , but I also love YA , historical fiction , and fantasy ( I 'm currently obsessed with the Song of Ice and Fire series ) . I 've also been reading a lot of NA recently - I 'm currently in the middle of Arranged by Sara Wolf , which I 'm really loving - and I 'm excited to see where this relatively new genre is heading . I 've been writing most of my life ( cliché , I know … ) I still have copies of the stories they made us write in elementary school . The oldest is from first grade - it 's called " The Candy Princess , " and it 's about a princess who lives in a world of candy . ( Genius , right ? ) I started writing with the intent to publish a few years ago , but the first couple of novels I wrote were honestly pretty bad ( and will never , ever see the light of day ) . I feel like some of us have to spit out a couple of crappy " starter " novels before we figure out who we are as a writer ( or maybe that 's just me , haha ) . Tell us about your writing process ? If I 'm being honest , it goes something like this : write a little , putz around on Twitter , write a little more , watch some videos on YouTube , write a little more , check email / Facebook / Reddit … You get where this is going . As far as my long - term process is concerned , I 'm a major re - writer . It usually takes me half a draft to figure out the core of the story I 'm trying to write , and then I have to go back to the beginning and rework everything again . I usually put my work through several drafts before I let anyone else see it . So what 's next ? Are you already working on Book 2 ? Will it be a sequel or a new story ? Though His Wicked Games could stand alone , I wanted to continue Lily and Calder 's story . The next installment will be a novella , and it should be released at the end of June ( so readers won 't have to wait long ! ) . I 'll be releasing more details about it in the coming month . J When is His Wicked Games released ? It will be released on Amazon , Barnes & Noble , and Smashwords on June 11 , 2013 . In the meantime you can find it on Goodreads - His Wicked Games Bad Boys , Inspiration & a Giveaway . Creating Alex Golden , the legendary bad boy of The Modeliser was a lot of fun and whilst I put a lot of thought and imagination into creating a gorgeous hero - a British actor who has managed to take Hollywood and the ladies by storm . It 's safe to say that along the way I found time to peruse the internet for some inspiration . Or do I mean Sinspiration ? Check out a few of the images that inspired me ( there are a whole lot more ! ) And yes I love my job and I 'm totally Team Eric , most of the time . . . There 's just something about Bad Boys in film , TV , fiction , music and even in real life that holds women in their thrall , even when we should know better ! In fiction , we 've seen a massive rise of bad boys with a side of angst , vulnerability and a few spare Billions . And , From James Dean and Marlon Brando , Hollywood bad boys of yesteryear to today 's crop of dangerous - to - know leading men the trend is still alive and well . On TV we have Don Draper in Mad Men , The King Slayer in Game of Thrones and who isn 't partial to a bit of Chuck Bass in Gossip Girl ? In The Modeliser , I drew inspiration from Hollywood bad boys both historical and contemporary in creating Alex Golden 's character , so for my first giveaway I 'm asking who is your favourite Hollywood Bad Boy ? I 'll be giving away 2 Advance Review Copies ( PDF ) of The Modeliser on May 4th and I 'll pick the winners at random . To enter this giveaway simply head on over to my Facebook Page , Like my page AND write on my wall to tell me who your favourite Hollywood Bad Boy is . Or you can comment below this post or you can Tweet me your answer and Hash Tag your answer # TheModeliserGiveaway . I 'll pick two winners at random on May 4th so get entering ! Look forward to your entries ! Havana Adams is a London girl who left her heart in NYC and has collected a crazy amount of airmiles dashing back and forth across the pond . When she 's not plotting steamy romance novels , she works in the film and TV industry , which is the inspiration behind her first novel The Modeliser . Havana loves movies , TV , reading , sporty things and baking cakes . View my complete profile
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Tag Archives : The City 29Apr2017 Lalbagh Posted in In Between by Vijeta Kumar Lalbagh has been the cause for many embarrassments in my life . The first time I saw it , I saw it two times but it felt like four . I had no idea there were 4 gates and sitting next to my friend in the bus , I saw the west and east gates in fifteen minutes and asked her if the driver was taking us round and round . Supriya slapped her forehead even as she struggled to keep from laughing rudely in my face . Many years later , my then best friend began frequenting Lalbagh . She 'd sit there for hours , sometimes the whole day . She 'd order from Dominos , eat cheese garlic bread and watch the lake . I never understood what she sought there but she went there every day . Whatever she sought , she must have found abundantly . She tried to get me to enjoy the quiet there and I did enjoy it , but it wasn 't something I wanted too much of . Now that I think about it , Josephine is probably the only woman from my past who knew how to be alone and enjoy it . One day in Lalbagh , Josephine and I were sitting on the bench and preparing to leave when suddenly , she grabbed me by the arm and started to whisk me away . ' Whaaaat ' , I moaned . ' Don 't look back . Whatever you do , do not look back ' , she muttered . So I looked back . A man who had been sleeping all evening had woken up and was now pleasuring himself quite ferociously . Like there was no tomorrow . The phrase ' going to town ' came to mind . Today , it rained so I thought why not and swerved right on Siddapura Road to park suddenly in the middle of actual riding . I parked and wondered if I had to pay . There was no counter so I walked on , looking back every now and then and half expecting an old man to come running after me , yelling at me to pay . Nobody came . When I began looking around , I realised how afraid I am of my own thoughts . Every time a long walk is in the cards , I pack my ipod before anything else and rely too much on music to keep me away from myself . But the only music here was the crunchy footwear sound that I have come to appreciate so much . The after rain footwear on part dry crunch - crunch mud sound , like the sound people in cartoons make when they eat anything . The traffic noise seemed to be coming from an approaching city . It was drizzling and it seemed like the trees were making their own noise . Men in smart colored tees were jogging past me with their hoo hoo breathlessness . Somewhere an urdu speaking aunty was instructing her daughter to forget the ball forever if she dropped it into the lake . ' Gaya tho uthech , bhoolna so ' The lake became more and more real as I saw the birds near it . The faint traffic noise now seemed to be coming from above . I walked to the Lotus pond and trained my ears to pick up coastal sounds of frogs croaking . One , maybe two and then suddenly nothing . But the trees were having fun and continued making their rustling noise . I was understanding Josephine and began missing her terribly and missed also that outrageous man who molested himself . Early this year in Ansal Plaza , I found Hi Seoul , and I allowed myself to feel less tortured about not having the courage to explore Dilli . Finding Hi Seoul was the result of some form of exploration , I told myself . So as my parents and aunt trundled to Dominos ' ; the sister , the brother , and I walked to Hi Seoul . When I stepped out to go to Daryaganj , my phone was recovering from the heavy - duty Delhi Metro apps I 'd just downloaded . Daryaganj , as my app pointed out , was squeezed between Chawri Bazaar and Chandni Chowk . The Chandni Chowk of Kajol from K3G 's galli , of delicious jelebis and cheap clothes that cousins talked about always a little breathlessly , and of the way my mother 's eyes turned suddenly soft and then shy when she recounted her second trip with dad there . I climbed out of the Chawri Bazaar Metro station and saw a line of cycle - rickshaws . My Google maps said walk 20 minutes to reach Daryaganj . I said chalo , why not and as I walked towards the footpath , one of my legs stood firmly in front of the cycle - rickshaw and refused to move . It all had to happen fast so obviously I went to the nearest cycle - rickshaw and looked inside . The last time I had seen one was in Band Baaja Baraat where Bittu and Shruti do their Shaadi Mubarak business phone call in a cycle rickshaw . Daryaganj jaana hai , I told my man . He nodded and I hopped inside . My rucksack and I hugged each other as we sat because we were happy and didn 't want anyone or anything else in life . Except maybe some jelebis . Jelebis , yes . And as I sat there , bobbing up and down , I dreamt about a magic camera that could show you what all your friends were doing in that moment and then I imagined all my friends staring into my moment and feeling very happy for me . My father 's disapproving face appeared and I felt happier . The cycle - rickshaw braked and I fell , face - first on my man 's back . My rucksack fell and along with it , all my camera fantasies and hopes . My father 's face erupted into raucous laughter and I sobered down . I had arrived in Dilli . I held on tightly to the sides of my cycle - rickshaw and felt a little afraid for my life . My man was humming and braking and screaming at bike / car walas and jumping in and out of potholes with very little effort . The road suddenly sprung to life and all the vehicles jammed on the lane started screeching away . There was no trace of a footpath - all the cycle - rickshaws had pulled closed to one another and were honking in unison . We were now on a two way road with a serious monopoly issue . Our side had colonised half the road . When we hadn 't moved for a while , I paid up and squeezed myself out and stood on no man 's land . I was trapped . There was no room for my rucksack and me to stand , let alone move . My man took pity and offered to drop me to the end of the road . I looked around to see various no man 's land people offering 100 bucks to just sit in the cycle - rickshaw . There were various kinds of libraries here : deodorants , clothes , sweaters , track pants , spiral - bound books , diaries , but mostly more books . They were pouring out of the pavements . Lines and lines of massive books in all sizes displayed on thick , plastic blue covers . I scored two Judy Moodys here for Rs 10 each and a moth - eaten copy of Austen 's Sanditon for Rs 30 which I bought only for the inscription I found inside : A mean sized auto pulled up at one of the pavements and a lean , short man wearing green chappals slowly started shutting down business for the day and arranging it in the back of the auto . Everywhere else , books were being returned to humongous plastic covers , rags and travel bags . One such pile was being stuffed in when I noticed a bent copy of Blankets . 200 Rs . I decided against it because by now my rucksack was threatening to burst . I still regret not buying it . On the way back - the rush from before was gone and Meena Bazaar had fallen to a quiet mist . Shop after shop selling meat had their showcases filled to the brim with kebabs and sheeks . On the other side , boxes of sweet smelling fruits were piled on top of each other . At Jama Masjid , I cut into a galli full of weddingy shops : Invitation cards , tent works , plumbing , bride and groom clothes , and travel agents selling exclusive honeymoon deals . In the corner , a thin man with a big scar on his forehead sat with his knees pressed to the chest - he was getting a shave from a large man dexterously waving his knife . All the top - half of the buildings in Chawri bazaar were blackened , dusty and closed . The lower half of the buildings flourished with activity . I walked on and on , realizing that in a parallel universe , I am sitting in one of the many balconies at Karnataka Bhavan gazing down at red brick walls . 15Dec2016 On & Off Posted in In Between by Vijeta Kumar After a devastating performance in class yesterday , I walked back to the department feeling unfamiliar pangs of guiltless - ness . A year ago , a bad class would have destroyed my inner peace and haunted the rest of my week . I 'd find it very difficult to forgive myself . I am only now learning to let go . And this is very liberating because I know I will soon go back to the class and reclaim what I think I lost . I am missing Delhi . I tell myself that I 'd be restless there after three days . I tell myself that sometimes cities can show you their face only for two days and after that , they have nothing more to offer . Even so , when I was at the airport , boarding my flight back to Bangalore , there was a large Delhi - shaped emptiness that kept growing . Delhi has always been scary . I still can 't bring myself to believe that on my first day there , I took myself out and plunged into the heart of the city with a rebellion I assumed only my parents could inspire in me . I took the metro and got lost , took the cycle - rickshaw and nearly died , walked from Daryaganj to Chawri Bazaar and didn 't have to punch anybody in the face . On my last day there , a woman asked for my help with directions , and another woman asked me if I took the metro everyday . When I shamelessly said yes , she told me she was lost and I gave her the right directions . I can see myself living there and working there . This is enough imagination to sustain me for weeks . In class today , we talked about Chaucer and writing . All the shattered selves from yesterday came back in silent prayer . With every passing day , my capacity to read is becoming increasingly demanding . One evening last week , I had a quiet affair with Habibi and got lost in its illustrations and story . We all had a lot to say about it at The Reading Room . Current read is Siddalingaiah 's ' A Word With You , World ' , which has been tempting me to return to my half - finished caste piece . It is comforting to read Siddalingaiah . I wish I 'd read the book last year , which may have been a time when I needed it the most . His stories remind me of my father 's childhood - they loom in the background and are told in a soothing voice . Never preachy nor patronizing , they reveal more than what I assume they can hold . My body is at its rigid best when we pass by the loud and bellowing temple and its irritating , loyal devotees seated in their vehicles , their palms joined together outside the window . Arms that I 'd like my super fast activa to chop in half . These are the only people I honk at mercilessly . I don 't like this excuse they have awarded themselves - that they shan 't be disturbed when they are praying to god in the middle of the road regardless of how many vehicles line up behind . Near Jain College and its acutely chatty pupils , my grip on the accelerator thickens . They stand in the middle of the road to hi - five , to chat , to greet each other . They should be wiped off the earth . When I begin honking , girls jump back in fright and roll their eyes , boys point their elongated arms at me in disgust while I flutter off happily . Now and then , my face becomes rounder and falls when it sees men who ogle from inside their vehicles . It falls , and then it stares back at them , gaze fixed , challenge accepted . Let 's see who withdraws first . Sometimes they withdraw first and when they don 't , and if I find the courage that morning , I flash my middle finger at them before scuttling off . This is the advantage of a two - wheeler . One cannot scuttle off in a car . On route to getting some alone time , my body is warm and I am happy . I smile at trees and the skyline ; I appreciate the color in the evening , humming old and forgotten Bollywood songs and tunes of languages that I don 't know . When I am headed to G 's , I 'm secretly a little anxious . The writing may or may not happen but there 's always plenty of hot chocolate to fall back on . And it 's always a nice thing to know that there are several plug points at G 's even though I may not need one . Riding to K is mostly a set of decisions . Is it a rum kind of evening or a ginger chai kind ? Cops never make it to this list . ( Never been caught * fingers crossed * ) Is it August already ? Are my Mango Melbas gone ? Mixed fried rice or pork noodles ? When I 'm picky , I flirt with other options but the heart wants what it wants and what it wants every night is mixed fried rice without liver . Because Anand approves . Homewards , I 'm goose bumping all over because the night is always chilly and mother is not sleeping until I get home . When I first stole this bike from my brother , he 'd park it inside for me every night . And then one day , just like that he refused . I learnt how to park decently but I don 't feel satisfied until I bang the bike 's bum to the noisy gate at least once before retiring . 19May2016 Dose . Overdose . Posted in In Between by Vijeta Kumar May began in the last week of April , when my vacations did . I am now in a bit of a rewind mode because I watched a whole lot of shit before I left to holiday happily in other lands and now that I am back , I have no memory of which play / movie happened when . And I need to have chronology more than anything in my life right now . I find that I am aging , and aging quite badly . So the string of doing things started on the last day of valuation when I hopped into TBC with the girls and discovered that beer can do the same thing that rum can . Possibly worse . A week before this , I wrote a longish piece on my experience with caste for a journal . While it is always easier to write personal essays than academic ones , this one took quite a lot from me . When I reread it now , I don 't understand what it took from me . The next day , I watched Yashogathe which left me in love with the house it was shot in . Later N and I met to write . She wrote her first piece of memoir , which I drooled all over , and I tried writing and rewriting the review for Yashogathe . In the evening , I was at Rangashankara watching Avaru bittu ivaru bittu ivaru yaaru and Sanchayana . I remembered Kalagangotri Kitti from Beechi House and throughout Sanchayana , I looked only at him and waited for him to speak . Watching Kannada plays has come to mean something more lately . It reminds me of the time I was first brought to the city . I go back to all the mosaic floored houses in Bangalore that we rented when we first arrived . The one in Kathriguppe with its cement terrace and the backyard washing stone . The packet of yummies and sticks of tamarind paste that we ate while walking back home from school everyday . The next couple of days were insane - It occurred to me on the eighth day of NSD 's Dakshina Bharatha Rangotsava that I had missed 8 days . So I went to Gurunanak Bhavan to catch the 500th show of Mukhyamantri Chandru . I had to leave in the middle because my head was all fuzzy and I started to hyperventilate . Chakravyuha happened the next morning . And as surprised as I was by how much I liked Puneet Rajkumar , I was swayed by how much I missed watching Kannada films . Writing the review for Chakravyuha was more learning and less writing . I was so taken with my own response to the film that I didn 't quite think of anybody 's interest in it . After bouts of eating , sleeping and daydreaming , I watched two Malayalam films - Leela and Kali . While I didn 't quite care for Kali , Leela made me think of Marquez and the thin copy of No One Writes to the Colonel that I haven 't gone back to . A prime BIFFES catch this year was Gabo - the documentary by Justin Webster . Marquez says here that more than One Hundred Years of Solitude , it was No One Writes to the Colonel that was difficult to write and one he considers his best work . Although there was nothing particularly Marquez - like in Leela , I giggled when the hero says Sulquer Dalman and Marcia Garquez . Vikram Kumar 's 24 was refreshing . Not only was I seeing a Suriya film after ages , I was also watching a Tamizh sci - fi after a really long time . I should have quietly gone back home and written about the film , instead I went to Rangashankara to catch Shylock . Anish Victor playing Shylock gave me goosebumps . So many adaptations of The Merchant of Venice but I don 't think I 've ever seen one with an OCD prone Shylock . Anish Victor takes Shylock 's language and puts it in every little thing he does on stage . It 's in the way he shuffles papers until they are kept in the perfect square position , in the way he handles objects with attention - pen , knife , paper , phone , and in the way he says ' moneys ' instead of ' money ' That should have been all . Shylock would have been the best way to end my theatre spree before I took off to Manali . But I had to go watch 1920 London . I don 't know why . Ask my brother . I forgot the rain , I forgot the wet undergarments , I forgot how cold I was . Because in its first 15 minutes , Sairat had me by my freezing cold balls . If there 's anything that has made me want to write in a long time - especially after spending a week with my madcap family , it is Sairat . 20Apr2016 London Posted in In Between by Vijeta Kumar Sarah Waters ' Tipping the Velvet took me around a London that was a lot more fierce than the London in The Paying Guests or even in Fingersmith . When Kitty and Nan see London from the window of their carriage , I saw a London that was distant and hungry . It suddenly felt like I was reading a lot more Dickens and less Waters . I cared more for Whitstable than London . By the end of it all , I wanted the damn oysters back . Even so , the London in Tipping the Velvet left a lot to be desired . Which is why I spent all of last Sunday riding quite high on London mania . I finally watched Four Weddings and a Funeral . After recovering from drooling all over Andie MacDowell , I watched Peter Ackroyd 's documentary on London . For an hour and a half , I was zapped by London and its history . I took particular interest in all of London 's great fires . I kept wanting to begin writing about my trip to London but it still seems like I am not ready . Over a cup of mushroom soup and a mug of tea , I watched London in its finest black and white form . In his deep fascination with London , Peter Ackroyd acknowledges how cities become strangers and then people . But they become people who will always remain that little bit strange , that little bit mysterious . They will lure you into their stories , seduce you with their history but they will never be able to tell you exactly what happened on those streets . I remember getting off a mini - bus in Kurukshetra ten years ago and wondering if the mud was really red because of the war . It is the same fascination I saw when Ackroyd stands on the oldest street in London and calls it so . Virginia Woolf too , writes maddeningly about a London that she grew up in - that she is not satisfied by , because she is convinced she will never fully learn its streets or its scars . 22Aug2015 The Bicycle Thieves Posted in In Between by Vijeta Kumar Kala Soudha seemed prettier than usual last evening . It had been raining and the air smelled sweet . When I parked in a hurry and climbed up the steps , I saw that there was nobody outside . Vowing to leave 2 hours before every play I watch for the rest of my life , I entered the theatre and was greeted with a cold AC smell . After grabbing the first empty seat I saw , I wondered if Kala Soudha always had an AC . After an hour and a half , I was on my way home , trying to keep up with the many images of what I had seen . There are so many things about The Bicycle Thieves that are pleasing to eyes and ears , all the same . I hate to hurry here but the story always gets in between how it is told , so I am going to get it out of the way . An unemployed man must deal with the thrill of finally having secured a job and the misery of having lost his bicycle , both on the same day . He must encounter the many faces of the city and must encounter them with his little son , in his search for the cycle . At the corner stage stood an inverted cycle tyre . On the wall were thrown the characters ' shadows . This was accompanied by people miming sounds loudly . An approaching , silent creak for the closing / opening of the door ; an ornate machine sound for when the factory workers are at work ; and the elaborate anti - clock rotation of the cycle chain for when the cycle is stolen in broad daylight . In one scene , the father - son duo sits and spits on their misery . In a moment 's notice , they have both stood up . My eyes immediately went to the discarded tiffin box that lay next to them . I was wondering if it 's going to lie there , orphaned for the rest of its life , when I almost whopped in surprise as I watched the son point to it matter - of - factly and take it with him . Every time the Urdu - kannada was used , my ears strained to drown out the audience 's laughter . I knew I would laugh but I wanted to hear the words first . It 's oddly beautiful to listen to that dialect . The Urdu falls about and bounces off the Kannada , and emerges into something one taps foot and folds arms to . After having watched The Bet , Beechi house , and The Bicycle Thieves , I have come to realize that I enjoy watching Kannada plays more than English plays . I like the swiftness in the actors ' language , their familiarity when they speak to each other or look at each other and their references to the city . Everytime I watch a Kannada play , I feel closer to the city in some way .
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I 'm literally less than two weeks away from being done with my freshman year at OU . Wtf happened ? Thats all I have to say . I was kinda just doing me and living life and now I 'm sitting here thinking it all went by so fast . I 'm pretty sure a year ago I was scared to go to college and scared I couldn 't do it . I was afraid to go so far away from home with no one but myself to get me through school , with no friends tagging along , and no established reputation . That turned out to be a good thing actually . Next week I have final on Monday , Wednesday , and Thursday and then I 'm done . I can pack up and go home . Well at least to my brothers house . Then , the next Tuesday ( May 17 - my mommys birthday ) I getta leave and be back in California for 3 months . I 'm excited . I miss my family and my friends there and I just miss California in general . Oklahoma really is a lot different . But , there are some things I 'll miss from Oklahoma . My friends ( mainly Chrissy Braswell , Lindsey Morrison , and Lauren Pettit ) , school ( I 'm a nerd ) , Colorguard / Band which I miss anyway , my family out here , etc . And I guess I might miss my boyfriend a bit too . Lol jk . I will realllllyyy miss him . Honestly , just thinking about him leaving makes my eyes start to tear . Sad but true . I already know I 'm probably going to uncontrollably bawl my eyes out when he leaves . Idk why I 'm like that . There 's not much I cry about in general , but whenever I have to leave someone or something I really care about , even if it 's only for a few months , I get really upset . I guess being upset about not seeing him is a good thing , it means I care right ? I really do care about him a lot . I 'm not sure why I wasted so much time not being with him and avoiding my feelings . But I know , because I spent so much time being his friend when I felt something more about him , that I really do like him and I want to be with him for a long time . I 'm not sure I 've felt this way about anyone in a long time , maybe not ever . It 's nice though . It feels so right and I feel like at least that part of my life is set . For now . I can 't guarantee it will last forever but I hope it lasts for a very long time . It 's ridiculous how much I care about us being together and staying together . I 'm so paranoid that something will tear us apart so I freak out when anything little happens between us and I get really upset . And then all I wanna do is hold onto him and not let go . And he keeps telling me its okay , or that hes sorry , or that hes not gonna leave me but I still can 't help but be scared that I 'm gonna do something wrong or that something will change . I 'm so paranoid in fact that I 'm paranoid about my paranoia messing things up . Sometimes I feel like I worry about it so much that hes gonna get sick of me worrying about it and think I don 't trust him or believe him when he tells me its fine . Idk why I 'm like that . I feel that it 's because I know how much I like him and care about him and I 'm so scared that he 'll leave and I won 't know how to be myself again . He literally holds me up . I don 't know what I 'd do without him . Anyway , enough with that because it 's messing with my emotions and I 'm sure you are tired of reading about it . I 've recently discovered how important it is to me to keep in contact with my family . In fact , for some reason just getting to talk to my sister or my dad or someone every few days makes me feel good . I don 't know why but I constantly feel the need to know how things are and make sure life is well and just . . . be present in their lives . I never realized how important family was to me . I always knew how important my mom was to me , and even my siblings at times , but I 'm starting to realize a lot more people are important to me and I feel like I 'd be nothing without them . I 'm starting to pack up stuff to move out , I 've been submitting job applications for a month or so now , I 'm looking at all sorts of things that have almost nothing to do with school work , and I 'm just thinking about my life lately . For some reason , being in college made me realize that having a career and a home and being an adult ( for real ) is all so close and life just seems a whole lot bigger now . It 's scary in some ways , but I 'm excited for the future . Oh in case you care about recent shiz , I went home ( to Plano , Texas more specifically ) with my boyfriend ( his names Chris btw , surprise surprise ) this past weekend . It was nice . His family is quite like mine in several ways which made it easy to feel at home - ish ? His parents were so kind as to buy Chris and me tickets to go to Edgefest . It was really nice . I really like concerts , regardless of who is playing , but it helped that I liked the bands . It was nice to spend that whole day with Chris as well . It was a nice weekend in general . Well besides the rain on Sunday . Ewie . Hopefully tomorrows weather should be nice . I hope . My sister in law , Heather , has a birthday on Wednesday I believe , and my niece Bailee has a birthday on Saturday . As well as my grandma Sharon . Then Mother 's Day is on Sunday . Wish I could be with my mommy : ( . I gotta write a couple papers before next week and do some studying . But right now I 'm gonna go busify myself . I hope all is well . I last left off with that moment in time where I was feeling quite stressed with everything . Since then things have changed quite a bit . First off , my now ex - roommate decided to go off on me about that blog , claiming I was " talking shit " about her and everyone else behind their backs ( even though it was publicly online ) and that everyone felt like this , not just her . She claimed she thinks its wrong because she never talks about people behind their back and doesn 't post stuff online about people ( remember this for later ) . I found out , however , that she was the ONLY person who thought that blog was me talking crap . In fact , some of my friends hadn 't read and hadn 't planned on reading it . Those who had understood how I was feeling and knew I meant nothing bad . So , false accusations and lying to pretend you have back up ? Cool . Whatever , I dont remember what happened after that but things went back to normal . For a little while . Then , one night I found out that my roommate and suitemate had been planning on moving out and into a different room together and weren 't going to tell me unless the move got approved . I thought they were my friends but this is when I started noticing otherwise . The next day we were all supposed to go out for dinner for my suitemates birthday . A small group of my friends and I ( the ones Ill be living with next year ) had already planned to go to a movie that same night , just the four of us . So we decided to go after dinner . We didn 't invite anyone else because it was just for us and we figured it shouldn 't be a problem since they had already planned to do stuff without us ( like going to get their nails done on my suitemates actual birthday ) . The only reason we even told them about us going out was because we needed one of them to drive to dinner so they could drive themselves back afterward . Well , apparently we were wrong in doing so . They threw a huge fit and talked about how shitty it was of us to not invite them to every single little thing . Everyone else we didnt invite didnt get mad . Even Tanner didnt get mad ! But they did . Whatever . Dinner was awkward because of them and they were treating us like crap . Later that night I came home to find alcohol on my roommates desk . This is both against the rules of the university and against the law . It made me uncomfortable because I could get in as much trouble as she could just for being in the room with it . So i slept in my friends room that night . Apparently OUPD showed up later on at my door . My roommate wasnt there but she found out and went off on me through text about calling OUPD even though I hadn 't . She told me how two - faced I was and etc . etc . and tried to act like she hadn 't been already doing stuff behind my back . So then it all went to hell . She and my suitemate started posting statuses on facebook about the situation and talking crap and etc . just like she said she never does . She started throwing my stuff on the floor , purposely leaving our door unlocked when noone was home meaning someone could easily come in and steal stuff , she would randomly yell at me for doing stuff that was normal and that she had been doing to me even , and the whole time I never retaliated . Why ? Because I hadn 't done anything in the first place and if I didnt do anything , she had nothing against me . The best part was when my RA asked her about the situation and she said nothing was wrong , everything was fine . When my RA told her to stop lying , she started yelling at my RA . Shows how mature she is right ? Also shows that she wanted to hide it , meaning she knows she was the one doing everything wrong . So , I decided to move out because her room change request didnt get approved . I moved into the room she wanted ( lol ) and now I live by myself . Its nice . She lives across the hall still and still has some immature grudge against me and so will mock me and what not but shes just an idiot and Im glad Im out of there . In other news , school is going pretty well . My physics class sucks because my teacher sucks , but everyone is doing about as good as I am in the class so Im not too worried . I got my schedule set up for next semester and I cant wait for Pride to start . Ive been doing extremely well in chemistry and calculus and well english too I guess . I have 3 weeks left of school and the week after that I will be on a plane to California for the summer ! Im so excited ! Working on finding a job , if anyone knows anyone hiring , let me know . I have an amazing boyfriend now , as well . It sucks that I only have 3 weeks with him and then we wont see eachother for months , but I cant fix that now . Basically , hes the guy who has been one of my best friends this whole year and I finally realized that I was getting jealous when he talked about other girls , and I didnt want him to be with anyone else , and I realized I really do like him . So now we 're together and its great , probably the best relationship Ive had yet and I really expect to be with him for a long time . He and my brother get along so well , and the rest of my family seems to approve . Yea hes the nerdy , gamer guy , but its cute and I can stand it as long as he spends time with me . Hes smart , and nice for once , and hes white . Wtf right ? Haha jk . I have to get to class soon otherwise Id write a whole bunch more but basically Im happy right now . : ) I needed a refreshingly new instrumental ( specifically piano ) piece swimming through my brain . So of course , I stepped right over to the lovely Yiruma playlist and picked out this piece . And I LOVE it . I 've loved it since I heard the preview . I got really stressed out today . It all just kind of came at me at once . Fortunately , I was able to pick up and leave and hit the gym for an hour or so . Listen to some music , be by myself , get my mind off of it all . What caused the stress ? Ahh . . . well . . . First , but certainly not foremost , I had a boyfriend . . . for all of 3ish weeks . I did not plan on having any relationships at all this year , and for a while I fought it . I wanted to go to school , do my school and do me without all the complications of a relationship . I didn 't want the guilt of feeling for somebody when committed to another . I didn 't want to have to commit to a set , constant schedule of seeing or talking to someone . I didn 't want to have feelings . . . . But , eventually I fell for it . I did the relationship thing . He was ( or seemed to be ) someone I could handle and someone " worth it . " And I could swear to you that things seemed to be going just as well almost up until a few days before the end of it all . If you had told me last Thursday , let 's say , that by the following Tuesday I would no longer be in a relationship I would have laughed and told you you 're crazy and that I feel I may be in one for quite some time . I also would have been wrong . All the sudden things went wrong . Some of it I understand . Some of it I 'm not sure I will ever understand . Particularly that there had not been enough wrong for it to end . We hadn 't really gotten into much of a fight yet , and I could have sworn we both were into the relationship . WRONG AGAIN . Yep . Anyway , all that taught me is that I need to follow what I feel is right for me . Meaning , if I say at the beginning of the year that I won 't do a relationship , I won 't do it . I 've learned . Speaking of relationships , I managed to successfully repair one that same day . And , honestly , the whole process of doing that , and all the hurt , and all the hatred I had for myself for messing things up with that person , was wayyy worse than the hurt I felt from the break up . I guess I just cared more about the relationship with that person than I did about the person I was " in a relationship " with . Which , now that I think about it , is completely backwards . How could I care more about one person , and stupidly pick another . Damn . Wow . More stress came from . . Idk . Just this whole dorm life thing . This whole not having my own space that is entirely my own thing . This whole not having a place to go to be alone . To get away from it all . I need something like that . Don 't get me wrong , I have a great roommate and I love my friends . I just need days without them . And lately that hasn 't been happening . My room is the new " hotspot " rather than a place where I can go to get away . I almost feel like in order to get anything done or in order to be away from loudness and craziness I have to go away from my " home . " Plus , today when so many were in here , we were discussing one thing and people kept butting in all saying the same things we had already discussed . Which made me want to punch something . I feel like sometimes people just have the sole desire to put their 2 cents in regardless of how similar theirs are to somebody elses and regardless of their extent of knowledge about the situation . I 'm sitting in the Denver Airport . Yep , I 'm writing a blog in an airport . Why ? Well I 'm freaking bored that 's why . I have like an hour or something til I leave here so why not ? In a few hours I will be arriving in Sacramento , California where I will be located for the remainder of my vacation from OU . Sactown is my home and that 's where I like to be when I have the time . Tonight , my highschool 's winterguard has their first practice since their winter break which I will be attending . I 'm exciting because I got to write the weapon audition routines for both sabre and rifle , and I get to teach those routines tonight ! Also , the final cut of the music has been made and therefore I get to start writing work for the show . WOOT ! I 've been trying to dabble in some colorguard teaching for a while now . Though I have no intention of making a ' career ' out of colorguard teaching , I do quite enjoy writing routines , shows , etc . and I would certainly love to tech whenever I get the chance , and maybe even be an instructor one day . Wouldn 't that be legit ? Indeed . Yea I really dont have much to say but I was bored and I thought Id share . So . . I guess Ill sit here some more and do nothing ? Maybe color in my hello kitty coloring book ? That sounds good I guess . And I 'm sorry . I 'll use the " I 've been terribly busy " excuse for now . I 'm a college kid in a marching band who 's football team tends to win a lot . I 've got stuff to do . So , it has been a while since I wrote a blog about anything really . I moved to a new room with a new roommate , who of course is way better than my other one was . I 'm pretty sure it couldn 't have gotten much worse than what I had before . Unfortunately , when I moved into my new room I guess there was something growing in the AC unit because I got terribly sick , and I recently discovered that I once again have a sinus infection . I think I got rid of the whatever it was that was in there though . Hopefully . . . Anyway , my football team only lost twice all season . Two very disappointing losses , but we survived . We went to the Big 12 Championship , and dominated . And on the first of this year we killed UConn at the Fiesta Bowl . It was awesome . My first colorguard season at OU is officially over , and now what am I going to do ? Haha . Because of the Fiesta Bowl , I spent the past week in Arizona . What a whirlwind of events that occurred . Like everyone got sick , including my roommate meaning I slept in several other peoples ' rooms . Lots of weird tension amongst the group in general . Fun running around and representing my team . A couple of parades where I felt like a celebrity , a Block Party , etc . And , I didn 't have to pay for any of it . They even gave us money for food . Awesome , amiright ? The only not - so - fun part was being on a bus for 24ish hours , especially after spending all day at an airport trying to get back to Norman from Sacramento in time to get on the bus . But , I got to ride the bus with one of my favorite people , and being on the two - bus was definitely an experience . See the tubas ride the two - bus ( ha get it ? ) and they have all sorts of . . . interesting aspects to their two - bus tradition . It wasn 't bad though . It was entertaining to say the least . My performance went very well , and I felt the energy for real . I almost hit Megan , our twirler , with my flag though because she was basically in my spot , and my face was definitely magnified times like a thousand on the big screen . All in a days work , right ? Haha . Apparently I was on tv taking a picture because my parents were watching and said they saw me . Is it weird that I have been on tv several times within the past couple of months ? Its weird how different my life is now . So , to school . I did well this semester . I had colorguard , chemistry , calculus , philosophy and engineering and I got an A in every class except Chemistry . I got a B . But Im proud of that B because I worked very hard to get it . It was definitely my most difficult class . Im signed up for a crazy schedule this coming semester so hopefully I 'm up for the challenge . I think I am . I 've acquired some really good friends at OU , none of which I 'm ready to give up just yet . Just a little shout out to Lauren Woodbury , Chauntel LaMunyon , Chrissy Braswell , Lindsey Morrison , Lauren Pettit , Ryan King , Chris Nail , and hey there 's probably a few more I just missed . No harm done . Lol . I love these people . They make me feel at home even when Im so far away . Speaking of home , after finals I flew out to Cali until I had to leave for the fiesta bowl , and Ill be flying back out tomorrow for the remainder of my break . Yes that is a lot of flying . Going home made me realize how much I terribly miss my friends and my family . I definitely dont take time spent with them for granted now . Being home was great . Yay for In n Out burger . Christmas was awesome at home and definitely went the same as usual . Im not complaining . I dont really know what else to talk about , but Im sure Ill think of a lot once I post this . Of course . Well , love you all !
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Mackenzie loves her new shelves Brandon built her . Every time we went into her room on Saturday she would say , " I like my shelves , Momma and Daddy " . Then on Saturday night we bought her a new lamp that sits on the shelf and so now she says , " I like my shelves and lamp " . The lamp stand is made of a giraffe , zebra and monkey , so of course she has to tell me about each animal every night when we go to bed . I 'm glad she likes it all so much . Maybe these changes in her room will help with any possible jealousy issues she has when Meredith is born . Then again , there might not be any jealousy and then her " new " room is just an added bonus . This past weekend we also hung Meredith 's shelves and letters on her wall . I 'm feeling much better prepared for Meredith 's arrival in the next 3 to 7 weeks ! Brandon 's next project is the upper shelf for Mackenzie 's room , so he better get started , huh ? Actually , I think he might be waiting for the weather to cool off a bit before having to get back into the garage for a couple of weekends . I guess I could wait until after Meredith is born . . . ; ) Recently Mackenzie has started re - enacting things that have happened earlier in the day . This past weekend at the pool , she and I had to sit in the shallow water while it was " adult swim " . After the 10 minutes was up , the life guard blew the whistle for " all swim " . I then told her , " OK , we can go in now . " After swimming for a little bit , she decided she needed to rest and went to the shallow water to sit down . After 15 seconds of sitting down , she stood up and said , " weeeee , weeeee ( whistle ) , OK , we can go in now . " I had to laugh , because such a little thing apparently had an impact on her . I 'd get her a whistle of her own , if I wasn 't afraid of the sound I would hear constantly as she blew it in the house ! Her other re - enactment was to " call Mr . Joey " on me and Brandon for being bad . Mr . Joey is one of the owners of her school and apparently that day , her teacher had to call Mr . Joey because a little boy in her class wouldn 't lay down on his mat for nap time . First she called Mr . Joey on me . She held her play phone and whispered into it where I couldn 't hear what she said , which I 'm sure is how her teacher called him too . Then she called Mr . Joey on Brandon , but this time yelled at Brandon to lay down and stay still . We both thought it was funny , but did ask her if her teacher had ever had to call Mr . Joey on her . She assured us she hadn 't . ; ) Lastly , I have to share Mackenzie 's funny interpretation of something I said the other morning while driving . We were on our way to school / work and I told Mackenzie that we were going to be a little late to school because of the traffic . I then added to myself a little more softly , " oh and there 's a stinkin ' helicopter , so there 's definitely an accident up ahead . " This was the conversation that followed : I laughed so hard that morning . Who knew a helicopter could poop and need it 's diaper changed ! ; ) I like that " stinkin ' " only has one connotation to her and it seemed so logical . I 'm looking forward to many more conversations and re - enactments that make me laugh like these ! Meredith 's due in under 6 weeks and in two weeks we 'll have an ultrasound to see if she head down yet . Three years ago at my 36 week appointment was when we found out Mackenzie was breech ( I had a sneaky suspicion ) and my c - section was scheduled . At the time , I was almost prepared for that since I actually thought she was laying sideways , so it wasn 't that big of a shock . This time around , it 's been like this constant waiting game to see Meredith 's position . So , what am I thinking about while we wait ? Well lets see . . . Is Meredith breech ? Does that kick mean she 's sideways ? Since her hiccups are low in my belly does that mean she 's already turned head down ? I wonder if I 'll have another c - section ? If she 's not breech , should I try a VBAC ( vaginal birth after Cesarian ) ? Are there too many risks with a VBAC ? Are there too many risks with another c - section ? Am I ready for the unknown of labor ? Am I ready for the unplanned and unpredictability of labor ? Am I ready for the 3 week recovery of a c - section ? To say I haven 't been thinking about the next 6 weeks , would be an understatement ! Since I didn 't technically have any laboring issues last time because we already knew Mackenzie was breech , my chances of delivering vaginally are very high . I 've read the information about both , which is more than I did when I found out I was having a c - section the first time , and I think I 'm going to try a VBAC . Plenty of woman have them every day , including my grandmother with my dad , uncle and aunt in the 50 's . From what I 've read , the recovery is much quicker than a c - section and that would be great since this time around I 'll have Mackenzie to care for along with the baby . More importantly , my doctor and hospital are willing to do a VBAC if that 's what I choose , given that Meredith is in the head down position . So , what do we do now ? We wait . We wait 2 more weeks and maybe even a couple more after that to see if a VBAC is possible . Waiting . . . very annoying . Luckily I have a busy next few weeks at work , so hopefully I won 't have time to focus on the what ifs . Saturday after I had cleaned for our dinner guests , it occurred to me that I had never given the second part of our house tour . I think all that was missing was our office , living room and master bedroom . Since you saw the Master bedroom in yesterday 's post , I thought I 'd show you the living room today . I blogged about the living room furniture we bought before we moved in and said to use your imagination , but I never posted final pictures . . . I don 't think . So here is our living room . It was a little difficult to find furniture to match the existing leather sofa , but in the end I think it turned out great . The photo is a little deceptive because the wood on the chair and sofa are darker than the coffee table even though they appear to look the same . They actually match the leather a little better than in the picture above . Eventually , we 'll get a different coffee table I imagine , but for now this works great . And because we have all of the storage in the built - ins along the wall , the coffee table only holds a quilt rather than all of my pictures ! . . . when guests are coming for dinner ! Saturday evening we had some of Brandon 's classmates over for dinner as a mini reunion for school . Saturday morning I started cleaning while Brandon was finishing Mackenzie 's shelf . As I went into our bedroom I decided I needed to hang a picture over our dresser that has been sitting along the wall for the last 10 months ! I also hung some cube shelves on the wall that my mom bought for me back in March ! Even though we 've had guests to our house many time since we moved in last September , I had still never had the motivation to hang these item in our bedroom . I can 't explain why theses guests sparked motivation for our bedroom , because in the end we didn 't even give them a tour of our house , so they never saw our bedroom . Usually with each visit of a guest , there is something that we tend to focus on to finish up . The last thing I worked on was adding a lamp and curtains to our guest bedroom . Eventually , that room needs a night stand or at least something to cover the current night stand which is just an old printer stand . Our bedroom still needs something over the bed , but I haven 't quite found it yet . All of this stuff is on that massive list I blogged about a couple of months ago . Slowly but surely we are crossing things off the list ! When I was pregnant with Mackenzie 3 years ago , I started a book about my pregnancy . I had it almost complete when Mackenzie was born and was only waiting on a few things - an actual picture of her was one of them . After she was born , life happened and I never got back to working on the book . Then , when I started by blog book I got a little side tracked for a while and the pregnancy book went to the back burner . Finally , a few weeks ago I tweaked the book , add blog posts and finished it ! Mackenzie saw the ultrasound photo above and said , " it 's Meredith . " We told her that was actually her and she got excited again . The book contains quotes from emails or blog post where people congratulated us , pictures from my showers and pictures of the nursery . The last thing I added a few weeks ago , were all of the blog posts relating to the pregnancy , including my emotional ups and downs , kankles and Hurricane Ike . The book finally ends with pictures of Mackenzie in the hospital - the waiting was over . I really like it and I think it turned out great . I thought I might one day have a pink and a blue one , but I guess I 'll just have two pink books ! Or maybe I 'll do Meredith 's in purple / lavender . Maybe this time it won 't take me 3 years to finish Meredith 's . But then again , with 2 kids I 'm pretty sure life will happen and 3 years will fly by ! ; ) Meredith will be here in approximately 6 weeks and her room is not ready ! We have all the parts and pieces , but it 's just not " put together " . We have her letters for her wall , the shelves that used to be in Mackenzie 's room , the curtain rod . . . we just haven 't put any of it on the walls . : ( One of the issues is since we are using all of Mackenzie 's old bedding and decorations from when she was a baby , we have to buy / make new stuff for Mackenzie 's room . For example , I need a new dirty clothes hamper and lamp for Mackenzie because those two items specifically match the old / new to Meredith bedding and need to move to the nursery . For now , they are still in Mackenzie 's room , so Meredith 's room is therefore incomplete . Because we knew we would be changing Mackenzie 's furniture . . . or maybe because we were slightly lazy . . . we never hung Mackenzie 's old shelves or letters on the wall . Because of this , I feel her room is poorly decorated . Well , we 're finally changing all of that because of Meredith ! Brandon and I designed a shelving unit that holds those canvas boxes you can buy at Target to go in the corner of her room . Brandon built the unit last weekend and is painting it as I type . With that in mind , I drew the following sketch to show Brandon what else I wanted him to build . You can see the shelving unit I was just talking about drawn to the right . We already have the canvas bags and it will be so nice to store some of her toys and stuffed animals in these cubbies instead of on the floor as they are currently . My old dresser that is in Mackenzie 's room does not have enough shelving space to hold her elephant collection , so I 've asked Brandon to build a shelf along one of her walls that we could put all of her elephants on . Then below that we can hang her letters that used to hang above her old dresser in our other house . And finally , I 'm not sure if I 'll buy it or try to make it , but I 'd like to create a pin up board for Mackenzie that 's wrapped in fabric and striped with ribbon . I think once all of this is in place it will feel more complete . We are also toying with the idea of Brandon making Mackenzie a night stand that we can put a lamp on . Brandon 's honey do list gets longer every day ! ; ) Her letters will hang above her crib and we 'll work on that spacing as we actually hang them . Both drawings are to scale and Brandon will be able to use the grids to locate exactly where I want the shelves . The problem I ran into with both rooms is how high to hang things . Our house has 8 foot doors and 10 foot ceilings , which is wonderful in all rooms except childrens ' rooms . It 's difficult to bring a small room down to scale for a child when the heights are way above even my head . I tried to keep everything down below the door height and left the upper 2 feet open . I 'll take pictures when both rooms are ready , which hopefully is pretty soon . Obviously Meredith 's room is priority after Brandon finishes the unit , but her room won 't take long once we actually go work on it . Then Brandon can work on the shelf for Mackenzie 's room so that we can hang her letters also . Here 's hoping all of this gets finished in the next 4 weeks so that we can have some breathing time before Meredith comes ! ; ) Oh , to have this kind of energy . As I type this , she 's already listening / dancing to this video for the 4th time . This was the only dance she did in her dance recital a couple of months ago . We finally downloaded it so she can dance to it more often . Last Friday , I went to work for a couple of hours and then took the rest of the day off . I left the job site about 10 : 00 and went straight to the salon to get a hair cut . I realized on my way there that I hadn 't had my hair cut in one year exactly ( 4th of July weekend last summer ) ! It was getting too long and stringy and very , very annoying . I didn 't color it , but it is at least cut to just below my chin . In the history of my hair styles , this is nothing new - I grow it out for a while and then cut it all off , grow it out and then cut again . Maybe after Meredith is born I 'll start coloring it again , but most likely I 'll color it at home instead of paying the big bugs to have some one else do it . After my hair appointment , I picked up Mackenzie from school and took her home for lunch with Brandon . After lunch I put Mackenzie down for a nap and I was out the door for a pedicure ! I went to this new place near our house and it was awesome . Granted , I get a pedicure about once a year . . . maybe , but this was much nicer than the pedicures I 've had before . It was a " regular " , not " deluxe " and they still massaged my feet with hot rocks , wrapped my legs in towels and soaked my feet in warm ( really hot at first ) wax . All this for only 26 dollars ! It felt so good . In honor of having a fun day just for me , I chose a FUN color for my toes : Yesterday when I picked up Mackenzie from school , I was talking to her teacher and I could hear Mackenzie repeatedly saying , " my momma has green toes " . I don 't know if the teacher heard her or not . She probably thinks I have some sort of fungus if she didn 't get a chance to see my toes . I thought about working with Mackenzie to say , " my momma has green toe nails " , but that doesn 't sound good either . I think the correct phrase must include the word " polish " just to be clear ! ( Sorry about the close up of my fat little toes ! I 've been on my feet all morning at the jobsite , so they are a little red and swollen . I was also trying to be discrete in my picture taking so that my coworkers don 't think I 'm crazy for taking a picture of my feet ! ;) )
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Last night Panorama screened a programme about ageism in the workplace . Talk about the pot calling the kettle black ! The BBC is renowned for being ageist as the recent case concerning Miriam O ' Reilly , a Countryfile presenter , proved ; and let 's not forget countless other people who have been told they 're too old to be on the beeb - Moira Stewart was one and then there was Arlene Phillips , who was replaced by Alesha Dixon . Arlene Phillips knows more about dancing than Alesha Dixon , but because Dixon is younger than Phillips , the beeb thinks that people sitting at home in front of the television would rather stare at Dixon than Phillips . We 're not THAT shallow , are we ? The problem with the BBC 's ageism policy is that it 's sexist . Strictly Come Dancing 's Len Goodman and Bruce Forsyth , for instance , are both really old men - Brucie is in his 80s - but they are still going strong and if you take a look at Newsnight , good old Paxo , now white - haired , is as stroppy as ever . Mind you , I 'd rather have Paxo presenting a heavyweight current affairs programme than Adrian Chiles or Dominic Littlewood . The programme focused on a real problem : the fact that employers in the UK don 't want people in their 50s working in their companies . Why ? Well , there must be many reasons . One must be that by the time people reach 50 they 've kind of sussed things out . They know that loyalty means nothing and that if you work your arse off for anybody you 'll get no thanks . They 're aware that burning the midnight oil is a mistake , especially where there 's no overtime payments , and they don 't want to hear any rubbish about team work . Panorama focused on four people : three men and one woman , all of whom were out of work and having real problems finding a job . Why ? Because they 're considered to be past it . All four of them have been trying to get work for a very long time , but they 've failed despite being well qualified for the roles in question . Jones got it completely wrong . If you 're reading this , ' Baron ' , the point of the programme was this : people in their 50s - qualified people who might have studied hard to become professionals in some sphere or other - are being turned away from jobs that they want to do and for which they are more than qualified . They want to do the job but one thing stands in their way - their age . But did Jones grasp it ? No , he didn 't . " Why don 't you re - train , become a plumber ? " he said as the hapless individuals were given a patronising one - by - one audience with the Baron , who resembled a poor man 's Wizard of Oz , after the curtain had been pulled back , and our four 50 - somethings were , perhaps , Dorothy , The Tin Man , The Lion and the Scarecrow . That 's not the point , Mr Jones , they don 't want to become minicab drivers , driving instructors or plumbers . Why would they ? They want to remain as accountants or teachers and they 're perfectly capable but they are being stopped by employers who are more concerned about saving money or , in the case of the Beeb , with cosmetic issues . What I also found rather amusing about the Panorama programme was the occasional input from Age UK , a charity that is obviously anti the whole ageism thing . Sadly , though , the charity 's representative was a young bloke who was definitely not in his 50s - they missed a big trick there . There was no happy ending to the programme either . I was expecting written announcements prior to or during the end credits , stating that the programme 's subjects had all found work in their chosen fields , but no , they hadn 't . One resorted to voluntary work , the other considered turning a hobby ( picture framing ) into a job and another - who was sent to work in a bar - gave it up because he felt it was below him . The female former teacher had started her own business , but it all went wrong for her when she lost a contract . Such a fate awaits us all and there must be thousands of people in college today wondering whether it 's worth studying hard if they 're going to end up stacking shelves in a supermarket or a DIY superstore . Why not simply leave college and go there now ? That way you 'll avoid disappointment later in life . When I was a kid I used to have many pathetic and ridiculously time - consuming ideas for making money ; one was to go around the streets collecting refundable lemonade bottles and them cashing them in at the local sweet shop . Just imagine for one minute how long that would take and how mind - numbingly boring it would be . And then , of course , like most things , the whole thing dried up ( in this case , refundable bottles have long been a thing of the past ) . Back then , of course , I had big plans for my scheme - including a huge depot holding loads of empty lemonade and Tizer bottles - but had I got started , no doubt I would have been severely disappointed and - worse still - if there had been money in the idea , somebody else would have done it before me . " I 've got an idea , " I said . " What about if I slept rough for a year and rented out my house ? I 'd make around £ 20 , 000 on the rent after a year and I could write a book about my adventures under canvas . " I ignored the fact that I had a wife and a child at home - where would they go while I indulged this hair - brained scheme ? Well , they would have to go to the mother - in - law 's ( where , of course , I could go too , so why bother sleeping rough ? ) . But that , of course , was not the point . Women often wonder what men think about and this is a prime example : the feasibility of sleeping rough for a year and what it would entail . To be totally honest , I was getting quite excited about the prospect of putting my house up to let , finding a tenant and then heading off to Halfords to buy a one - man tent . I had it all sussed out - or so I thought : first , the big problem of where to pitch the tent , but there 's plenty of woodland around . " I could set up over there , " I said , pointing towards some woodland , which was probably private property . Still , my plan ( during the winter months ) was to sneak into the woods in question under cover of darkness and then be up with the lark in the morning . I had no plans to give up my job , so I 'd still be earning good money , plus banking the rent money . I could cycle everywhere , wash and shower in a local leisure centre ( and get a swim in every morning too ) and then work in a local library or business centre where there are power points for lap tops and internet connections . I only need a suit for meetings , so I could keep one on a hanger round at mum and dad 's or the mother - in - law 's and use it as and when . The rest of the time would be straightforward : I 'd work during the day in the library or business centre ( bike triple - padlocked somewhere outside ) and then at night , I 'd cycle back to the woods and set up my one - man tent . There 'd be no television , so I 'd be forced to read books or listen to a small radio and then , in the morning , I 'd head off for a swim and a shower . I 'd shave there too and then make my way to work . After 365 days - my point proved ( what is the point ? ) - I 'd simply resume my normal life , but I 'd be twenty grand better off and , who knows , there might be a book deal involved . I doubt it , but stranger things have happened . To be honest , I 'm amazed at my immaturity . Here I am , married , kids , responsibilities , and I 'm sitting at a wooden bus shelter in the middle of nowhere , early in the morning , fantasising ( and getting quite excited and inspired ) by the looney idea of sleeping rough in local woods for a whole year . Where 's the logic ? Well , actually , how else would I get a twenty grand raise ? Is there ANY other way ? Probably not as that 's a lot of extra work whichever way you look at it . Sleeping rough would mean no extra work at all , although there 's always the possibility that I wouldn 't be married at the end of my crazy adventure and , of course , I might be attacked during the night by some local nutters . Sadly , of course , I 'm going to do neither . Perhaps if I was single , but even then , what kind of nutter sleeps in the woods when he 's got a perfectly decent house in which to kip ? I would be the local nutter . People would get to know about somebody odd sleeping in the woods . In short , it 's not a good idea . But for me , there was something appealing about the idea and I think it 's to do with the notion that I 'd still be working , I 'd have much more disposable income than I have now , I could still see my wife and child most days - although every day there would be that moment : " Do you have to sleep in the woods tonight , darling ? You could always stay here . " But that would be to admit defeat , to give up the ghost and start on that slippery slope towards calling the letting agent and giving my new tenants notice to quit . No , I 'd have to see it through , but the reality is quite simple : it 's a stupid idea with no foundation in reality and it will never happen . I think my wife would divorce me if I even mentioned it with a straight face . " Darling , I 've got an idea . . . " But what 's not to like : I 'd have a mobile phone ( that I could charge daily in the library ) , I 'd have a laptop , similarly charged , and if I had a dongle I 'd have internet access even in the darkest of woods . I could eat in cafés - so I wouldn 't have to carry food around with me - and as long as I had a radio for company , I 'd be on top of things like current affairs . There 's a good chance that nobody would know I was sleeping rough as I 'd always be clean shaven . I 'd probably lose weight through regular cycling and swimming - there are so many plus points ! In fact , as I write this , I wonder how many people are in the woods now , settling down for the night in their one - man tents while their new tenants make themselves at home ? I wouldn 't regard myself as an expert where politics is concerned . I am , if you like , the man in the street . I watch the television news programmes , I enjoy the BBC 's Question Time , I pick up stuff on the internet , I read newspapers and , like everybody else , I occasionally engage friends and colleagues in debate about the Government , the opposition , international affairs and so on . And right now I 'm sitting on the sofa , laptop on lap , watching Newsnight 's analysis of the first ever televised debate between the three leaders of our mainstream political parties and guess what ? Michael Crick is sitting on a high stool in front of Kirsty Wark criticising Gordon Brown 's performance . Earlier , on the BBC 10 ' o ' clock news , they were attacking his persona during the debate , using a new ' worm ' from a polling company , Ipsos Mori , to say that while Nick Clegg 's and David Cameron 's worms rose as people liked what they were hearing - and so did Gordon Brown 's - they still had something negative to say about Brown 's performance . Having gone through the early nineties recession ( when the Tories were in charge ) and its aftermath ( I was made redundant three times ) , as soon as I heard that a recession was looming , I was understandably worried . But my worries were misguided . I am still working and despite the awful crisis - caused by bankers who , I 'd imagine , will vote Tory - I hope to continue working . I 'm glad there was a televised debate tonight for one reason : it gave Gordon Brown the chance to warn against Tory plans to cut £ 6bn out of the economy at just the wrong time . I believe Gordon Brown when he says that making such cuts now will plunge the country back into recession . I don 't believe the inexperienced David Cameron , the man who fronts up the party of business . He talks about how ' leading businessmen ' support his party 's proposed £ 6bn cuts ( as if that 's something to boast about ) but abhor Brown 's so - called ' tax on jobs ' ( the planned rise in National Insurance contributions ) . People talk about not being able to trust politicians , but the thing is , can anybody trust a businessman ? A lot of Tories are both politicians and businessmen and the latter care about just one thing : profit . Businessmen like to make cuts . If they can get something for next to nothing , they will . They like to save money , cut corners , anything to turn a bigger profit . Apply the business model to running the country and you get job losses , hospital closures , text book shortages in schools , poor transportation safety records ( remember the Hatfield train crash when four people were killed and 70 injured ? ) . Addendum : I notice that the BBC is doing its level best to give Gordon Brown a bad press ; they 're doing it at every possible opportunity they get and now they 're making a huge mountain out of the mole hill that is Brown 's ' off air ' comment about a member of the public in Rochdale . Okay , fine , he said it , he might have been stressed or whatever , I don 't know , but just take a look at the ridiculous amount of air time they 're giving to this minor gaffe . Furthermore , if the BBC is not going on and on about Brown 's ' bigot ' remark , they 'll be talking about the election as if it 's already taken place . Clegg is doing the same thing , arrogantly assuming he 'll be involved in a coalition government , making it all sound like a foregone conclusion - that we 're going to have a hung parliament - and letting the media know who he will support and why . Why can 't the BBC and the politicians talk about the policies ? We don 't want to hear speculation on the outcome of the General Election , we want to know what each party stands for . Nick Clegg says he doesn 't want to form a coalition if Gordon Brown is still the leader of the Labour Party - as if there is currently a decision to made ; there isn 't , the election is on May 6 . Start talking about forming a coalition government AFTER the election day , NOT before ! ! ! Why does the BBC have such a hate campaign against the Government ? Is it something to do with the David Kelly affair , their journalist Milligan and the resignation of Greg Dyke ? Are they still smarting over that incident ? I think the BBC has behaved very poorly towards the Government and seems to have nothing decent to say about Gordon Brown when , as far as I and plenty of others can make out , he and the Labour Party are most certainly the best bet if our economy is going to remain out of recession . Come on , somebody say something positive about Labour and Gordon Brown before it 's too late . We don 't need such negativity - and we certainly don 't need David Cameron . " Whenever I hear the word culture , I reach for my revolver . " said Hermann Goering at a time , perhaps , when the word ' culture ' had some meaning . Had Goering been alive today , he 'd have reached for more than his revolver : how about a bazooka , what about a small Howitzer or even a Trident nuclear missile ? Personally , I 'd rather use a Gatling gun ; you know , those machine guns with a cylindrical magazine used in Westerns , something noisy , ungainly and guaranteed to do the job properly without killing any innocent bystanders . Morgan sits there chatting to tabloid people like Katie Price and , tonight ( March 13th 2010 ) that girl from Hearsay whose name escapes me , she 's THAT famous . Hold on , while I go and ask somebody . Ah , yes , Kim Marsh . You remember her , don 't you ? She was in Hearsay and she 's now 33 , I 've just heard Piers say . Look , I 've got nothing against her personally , I 'm sure she 's a really nice person and yes , she 's had a few issues in her life , like most of us , and she 's been in ' Corrie ' , but please , Piers , you 're sitting there in front of her treating her like Parkinson might have treated the great John Lennon . But she hasn 't had an airport named after her , she 's not even Enid Sharples or Hilda Ogden and there you are acting as if you 've got a major interview on your hands when you haven 't . Marsh won a talent competition , for heaven 's sake . She was in Hearsay ! And you , Piers , have the audacity to talk to her about issues that proper musicians suffer from : tension from within the band , ' differences ' which led to the split as if anybody really cared or , indeed , remembered . Hearsay were not Nirvana , they were not Blur or Oasis , they were not even Boyzone . Yes , if there were ' musical differences ' or disagreements within the Beatles , that might have been a big issue , but Hearsay ! In Hearsay , musical differences probably meant they were out of tune . Whose idea was it to put Kim Marsh in front of Piers Morgan during the prime time slot on Saturday evening commercial television ? Where 's my Gatling gun ? Hold on a second , though ; that sounded a bit like Piers Morgan was some kind of television chat show ' big gun ' , up there , perhaps , with the likes of Parky , Letterman , Leno or Wogan , but no , Morgan 's television career has been carved out of similar television shows to the one that put Hearsay in the public spotlight , and wasn 't he once editor of the Daily Mirror and the man in charge when those bogus photographs of Iraqis being tortured were published ? The main problem with the manufactured ' artistes ' is that they don 't appear to have any lofty cultural ambitions . I mean , would you ever see Pete Townshend , Robert Plant , Roger Daltry , Liam Gallagher , Damon Albarn , to name but a few , presenting television programmes let alone embarking upon their careers by winning a talent show ? No , of course not ; they struggled , they played the clubs and pubs and practiced in garages and then chased record deals before hitting the big time and turning into big festival and stadium attractions . I know what you 're going to say : if you don 't like it , turn it off ; and I did , to be fair . Actually , I left the room to sit here and write this article because I 've noticed a marked decline in real talent in this country . I 'm not saying that Marsh is not talented , it 's just that she and Cheryl Cole and Katie Price and whoever else is out there queuing up to be interviewed by Piers - who , no doubt , is being heralded by the naive as ' the new Parkinson ' - are really not ' big ' enough to be given that ' big interview ' treatment . Gordon Brown , yes ; Paul McCartney , of course , but all these ' celebrities ' who have found fame far too early , no . " Hello ? Yes , it 's me . I 've been involved in an air disaster , looks like I 'm the sole survivor and I 'll be late home tonight . Actually , I won 't be home at all unless you can organise some kind of rescue party as I 'm stuck on a desert island , just me and the tailplane . " Touch wood , I haven 't been involved in an air crash or any other kind of disaster . All that happened to me this morning was that I discovered I didn 't have my debit card in my wallet when I went to buy a ticket . This , of course , is worrying as I started to wonder whether I had lost it , dropped it or just left it in another pair of trousers or the breast pocket of yesterday 's shirt . Fortunately , I was still able to buy a ticket because I had my trusty credit card with me , but I thought I 'd better call my wife and let her know the situation before she put yesterday 's clothes in the wash . Not a problem , I would simply whip out the mobile , press the speed dial button and hey presto ! My wife would answer the phone . All would be well with the world . But no . I 'm a Samsung Omnia owner , which means that life is anything but simple . Get this : my phone is on , it had been on all through the night and there was still enough of a charge on the phone to be able to make calls . I hadn 't received the usual warnings about power being low and please charge your phone . Everything was fine . When I depressed the keys they made a noise , the home page was before me , I could access my stored numbers . There was nothing to suggest that anything was wrong , so I pressed speed dial , found ' home ' and pressed the button . Hold on a minute ! What 's that ? The phone is switched off ? Eh ? How ? If it 's switched off , how can it tell me it 's switched off ? If the phone is not on , how come I can dial the number , how come I can see the * * * * ing home page , how come ? Ah ! Of course , the Samsung Omnia does a really good impressions of being on , when it 's off ! I should have known ! A speech bubble has appeared . It says that the phone is switched off and would I like to switch it on ? Just press the yes or no button . Well , that 's easier said than done . I press Yes . Or rather I try to press yes using the Samsung 's pen . Nothing happens . I know , I 'll press the No button as the Omnia is like that , you press the key NEXT to the key you want and you might get the key you want . Good idea . But it doesn 't work . The phone is on but it is telling me that it is off and would I like to turn it on . I press the yes button but it doesn 't work . I press the no button and it still doesn 't work . I know ! Take the battery out of the phone and effectively re - boot it , like pulling the plug on a frozen computer . That 'll work ! So I dismantle the phone and take out the battery . Now the phone is DEFINITELY off as there 's no power . Phew ! That was easy , I think to myself . Now , put the battery back in , turn the phone on in the normal manner and all will be well with the world . I switch the phone on , the words Samsung Omnia appear followed by the dainty oriental sounding greeting tone as if a Geisha girl is standing in front of me , bowing politely , and handing me a working phone . Within about 15 seconds I 'm back at the home page , I press the speed dial button and then I press ' home ' and guess what ? " This phone is switched off . Would you like to turn it on ? " Off course I want to * * * * ing well turn it on . I want to call my wife to tell her to have a look around for my debit card before some bastard tries to use it and nick all our money ! I dismantle the phone half a dozen times but the same thing happens . The phone is switched off , despite the fact that it is clearly very much on . By now I 'm getting flustered . I look for and find a pay phone , which doesn 't work , and then I get on the train and fret about the situation . There 's nothing I can do . I am completely powerless . I can 't do anything until I reach Richmond station and then I can use a call box on the platform . This is what I do and then things are fine , but no thanks at all to the Samsung bloody Omnia . Over the years I have had many different gadgets : mobile phones , Walkmans , radios , hifi systems , Tamagotchis , you name it , and none of them , none of them at all , even the Tamagotchi ( my son 's ) that often woke me up in the middle of the night because it needed a poo , even that was not as infuriating as the Samsung Omnia . I 'm so annoyed with it that I 'm now going to write to Samsung in the UK , tell them what a useless lump of plastic their Omnia is and well , that 's not the end of it . I might even direct Nokia and Sony to this blog and tell them that their phones are a million , trillion times better . Most of the mobile phones I have owned have been pretty good in terms of reliability and usability . I 've owned a basic Nokia and two Sony Ericssons and none of them have caused me any problems . My latest phone is a different story . Unlike a conventional mobile , the Omnia relies upon a touch sensitive , computer - generated representation of a keyboard . In other words , the keys aren 't really there at all . ' Dialling ' any number requires thought and I don 't want to think too much about such a mundane task ; I never had to with my other phones . With the Omnia , it 's a case of ' dialling ' carefully and slowly , using a pen , watching all the time in case , as often happens , the machine inputs , say , half a dozen 3s or 4s - it 's that sensitive . Dialling 0208 could easily become 02000008 . You get the picture . Not ideal if you 're in a hurry . I know what you 're thinking : use the phone 's speed dialling function . Under normal circumstances I 'd say fine , but not with the Omnia . Problems lurk on every corner for Omnia users . I have stored around a dozen pre - set telephone numbers , but first I have to access them by pressing a small blue keyhole symbol at the top right of the screen . Pre - set numbers are supposed to pop up , but they don 't . Instead , I am given a page of icons offering me the web , the camera , media player , alarms , everything but my pre - set numbers . If I press ' exit ' to try again , the same thing happens . Then , to add insult to injury , the phone locks itself , meaning that I have to press ' unlock ' , which is more difficult than you might think . It 's virtually impossible to unlock the phone using the pen ( of which , more later ) so I have to thump the phone hard with my index finger and then start again , but I get greeted with all the unwanted icons for a second time . Arrrggghh ! ! ! The solution is to press another icon at the top of the screen , like ' settings ' , and then , as the icons shuffle to the left , press the speed dial icon when it has moved to the far left of the screen - that way the pre - set numbers pop up . Finally I get to my speed dial numbers . Now I 've got another problem . If I press the icon for my home number , it accesses the number represented by the icon to its left and I find myself dialling somebody I don 't want to talk to ; then the problem of stopping the phone dialling a wrong number , which involves a frantic thumping of the black button below the screen to cancel the call . I have numerous calls from one particular work colleague who thinks I am trying to reach him when I 'm not . The Omnia likes to keep me on my toes by constantly inventing new problems . For example , when I press 3 it 's 2 so once again I can 't simply dial a phone number on the move , I have to stop , concentrate hard , use the pen to tap the 3 key at its far edge in order to key in a 3 and not a 2 . This often takes more than one attempt and is further thwarted by the fact that the cancel key ( the orange arrow at the top right of the keypad ) then types a 3 , the key to its immediate left . Try to keep up : the 3 key is really a 2 and the cancel key is really a 3 , but there is no way I can cancel the wrong number so I have to quit the keyboard entirely and start again . But then , the phone locks again and I have to thump it hard again with my index finger to unlock it as using the pen , for some inexplicable reason , won 't unlock it . Writing a text message is a nightmare too . Sometimes it works , sometimes not . Invariably , the latter . A big problem with texting is that the keys do not represent the right letters . If I try to write ' Good morning ' I need to be aware that G is F and that O is U and that P is really i , D is S and so on . In short , it 's impossible so I am forced to give up . If I try to exit the messaging function , another problem arises : I can 't . The pen simply won 't work if I use it to depress the ' ok ' in the screen 's top right hand corner which should close the window . More often than not , a text bubble will appear saying ' contract WAP ( GPRS ) which I don 't understand , but can 't delete however hard I try . The scrolling function on Call Log , Phonebook and Messaging is temperamental , only working effectively when it so chooses . With messaging in particular , it is very hard to move the scroll bar up or down to review messages received or sent , and to exit a message and return to the main list of messages is nigh on impossible , even using the pen , which is supposed to make life easier for Omnia users . It is best to depress the phone icon on the bottom right of the phone and then re - open the function from the phone 's ' home ' page . As for the pen , well , it 's there to be lost . Miraculously , I still have mine , although it has spent a few days under the car seat during which time I have relied upon assorted ballpoints and my chipolata fingers . The pen is supposed to make things easier , especially dialling and messaging , but it is just another irritation , especially when the P key is O , the G is F and so forth . And I can hit that ' ok ' at the top right of the screen as many times as I like but it won 't remove the page I 'm on for love nor money : all I get is annoying speech bubbles that refuse to go away . If somebody calls me I have to call them back as , by the time the phone is out of my breast pocket and in my hand , the right way around and without the pen swinging about uncontrollably , they 've gone . Even if the phone comes out of my pocket easily enough , I 've got to hit the word ' answer ' and that 's harder than it sounds , believe me ; forget using the pen , by the time you 've unleashed it from its housing , your caller has hung up . If I call back I 'm confronted with the aforementioned call log problems . If I use the speed dial function , I end up calling somebody else . Trying to stop a mis - dialled number is very hard and usually involves a lot of thumping on the screen to avoid a call from somebody else which , if they get through , results in , " Sorry , I dialled you accidentally , new phone , " I might lie , ignoring the fact that I 've had the Omnia for months . Knowing what I know about the Samsung Omnia , I would never buy or recommend one to friends . Enemies , maybe . I am seriously considering transferring the SIM card to my old Sony Ericsson and using that instead . Mind you , the Omnia does have a decent 5 mega pixels camera , but that is the phone 's only redeeming feature . I say ' franchise ' , but to be truthful , the word doesn 't really fit the bill . Toy Story One , Two and Three are better than that word , they 're not a ' franchise ' at all , they 're three excellent movies that haven 't in any way been ruined by anything . Nobody can say that One is better than Two or that Three was better than One ; they 're all good and there are many reasons : the characters , the storyline , the general vibe and , above all , the fact that all three movies follow a time line . I love Toy Story . Infact , a friend of mine recently told me that I was very sad because I 'd not only watched the movies , but analyzed them too . I was , he said , not only a dab hand with some of the movies ' great quotes ( like in Toy Story 2 when Ham says to Rex , " You can be the toy that comes with the meal " ) ; I 've noticed things that others have allowed to pass un - noticed . For instance , the same friend asked me why it was that Woody still had the word ' Andy ' written on the sole of his shoe when , in Toy Story 2 , it had been painted over . Well , it 's like this : everything is rectified in the Toy Story movies . Everything is ' put right ' at the end . In Toy Story 2 , Woody 's boot is painted over and his arm is repaired , but everything has to revert back to reality before the conclusion of the movie ; so , if you recall , Woody scratches the paint off of his boot at the very end of Toy Story 2 , so the picture reverts back to the reality of the situation , ie that Andy had written his name on Woody 's boot and - perhaps - it was never changed in the first place ( the whole thing 's make believe ) . Likewise , Woody 's arm - at the end of Toy Story 2 , despite it being fixed earlier in the movie , the Pixar people ensure it 's unfixed by Stinky Pete in the scene on the baggage conveyor towards the end , so it 's down to Andy to fix Woody , which he does . Everything is put right at the end . I was driving into a multi - storey car park one morning , on my way to work listening to a band called Spirit and a track on their Spirit of 76 album entitled Guide Me . I don 't know what it was , but there must have been something in the tune . When I reached the top level of the car park I kind of broke up . Toy Story 3 finds Woody , Buzz , Ham , Rex , Slinky Dog and Mr & Mrs Potato Head accidentally donated to a Day Care Centre where , it turns out , they 're really in some kind of prison . They plan to escape the evil regime and get back to Andy 's house where , they figure , that spending the rest of their lives in the attic wouldn 't be too bad . Except that - fortunately for them - it doesn 't turn out that way . The toys do escape - as we all knew they would - but then there 's some pretty amazing stuff towards the end of the movie that , for me , rivals anything any mainstream picture can dish out . Forget It 's A Wonderful Life , Toy Story 3 is the real tear - jerker . I 'll admit to it now : I was having major problems keeping it together . My lip was quivering a lot and I thanked the Lord for the cover of darkness provided by that picture house . As we left the auditorium and hit the daylight , I was finding it difficult to talk coherently . I didn 't want to let on to my daughter that I 'd found the whole thing rather emotional at the end , and had to strike the right tone of voice when I eventually asked her what she thought of the movie . She loved it , of course , and we both drove home awestruck . I was in a kind of daze for the rest of the weekend . Give me a decent Pixar movie any day . I don 't think I 've ever looked forward to a movie as much as I looked forward to seeing Toy Story 3 . In fact , I don 't think I 've ever really looked forward to a movie before . So the big question is : will there be a Toy Story 4 ? I hope so , but somehow I doubt it . A fourth movie might ruin the magic , not that I think the guys at Pixar will disappoint , but everything has been resolved . The toys have a new home , Andy 's off to college and why would the toys want to escape from their new home ? Still , we 'll see . Never say never . My son goes to college this year , just like Andy , and I 'd imagine there will be some emotional scenes between him and his mother . I 'll try and hold things together as that 's what dads are supposed to do , but somewhere along the line I 'll probably have my moment too - although , as my mum used to say about me , " he 's big enough and ugly enough to look after himself . " I 've still got a wonderful little daughter at home , so my life has , in many ways , mirrored what has been going on in the Toy Story movies - right up to the present time . It 's weird , isn 't it ? Nowadays , whenever the word ' recession ' is mentioned , I worry . I don 't want to go through all that again . I hate it when I hear people wheel out the old familiar phrases about ' battening down the hatches ' , ' any port in a storm ' and all that making do rubbish . I start to get angry and wonder who 's to blame . I used to remember in the early nineties hearing phrases like , ' we 've reached the bottom ' and it always conjured up images of those infra red cameras on the sea bed lurking around the wreck of the titanic . It 's bottomed out , we 're scraping the bottom , all the imagery that suggests the only way is up . And then , of course , that was the mantra , ' the only way is up ' , Yazz and New Labour , images of Prescott and Mandelson and Blair jigging around self - consciously as ' New Labour ' swept to power in 1997 and a new dawn beckoned . Cool Brittannia , Noel Gallagher in Number Ten , the whole thing . For a while I remember thinking , nothing more to worry about , no more recession and so on and so forth , but of course , peace and tranquillity was never to be . The Twin Towers followed , then there was Dubya to contend with , Blair being the poodle , the deceit that was the Gulf War and that whole Jack Straw syndrome . I don 't know , but I don 't trust Straw one bit and the whole Iraq thing cemented him in particular as a key villian of the piece . Even recently , he was a key figure in vetoing disclosure of the minutes of the meeting about Britain 's involvement in the decision to invade Iraq . Where there 's smoke , there 's friendly fire . But while Iraq trundles on and Afghanistan continues apace , the last thing I wanted was another recession . Rumours started , there were occasional comments in the press , but a lot of the time they were brushed off until suddenly we started hearing the media talk us into it . People started talking about Fanny May and Freddie Mac , two people I 'd never ever heard of before , but apparently they had always been larger than life characters in the American financial markets . Odd , when I consider how , throughout the nineties I was reading the Economist and the FT and never once heard mention of these two crucial financial institutions that , apparently , the world economies rely upon . I find myself wondering many things . When did the world turn from being a largely safe place to the uncertain place it is now ? How come I used to work in a variety of jobs ( all within the world of publishing ) but never once did the commercial realities of life gatecrash my world . I used to go to work , do my job , come home and that was it ; the fact that the advertising sales team was either incompetent and not up to the job or that ' market conditions ' were forcing their hands never really bothered me . Market conditions never bothered me , they were resigned to the financial pages and were always slightly boring . Now , of course , market forces are all that seem to matter . Everything is about cost and budgets . We 're all in the hands of salesman , sadly , and they determine whether or not we have jobs or not . But that aside , I now find myself more in tune with conspiracy theorists than ever before . Why ? Because things just don 't add up . Take the twin towers in NYC , why did they come down like a controlled demolition explosion ? How come they then gave Dubya the perfect excuse to flex the military might of the USA in just the countries he wanted to invade ? Why did we believe all that rubbish about 45 - minute warnings and weapons of mass destruction that have since been proved to be complete and utter rubbish ? Who the hell are Fanny Mae and Freddie Mac and why did they suddenly emerge as the key protagonists in the current global economic downturn when we 'd never heard of them before ? I read Orwell 's 1984 recently , it was one of those books that , of course , everybody must read at some stage in their lives and I hadn 't gotten round to it until just a few years ago . What struck me about the book was the similarity between our current situation in Afghanistan and the conflicts that take place in the novel , they 're just ongoing and all the people ' at home ' hear are the news reports : yet another British soldier dies due to a roadside bomb , constant mentions of Helmand Province and at home everybody wondering why , what 's the point ? It 's almost exactly like Orwell 's masterpiece with a mythical enemy and media machine pumping us full of propaganda to keep us on - side , as it were . It 's the same with the recession and the so - called ' credit crunch ' . We 're all being told to ' batten down the hatches ' , there are programmes on the television and articles in newspapers showing us how to use our leftovers and be frugal , and the feeling is that ' they ' , whoever they are , are making deliberate parallels between now and war time rationing and trying to get us all thinking , perhaps , that we 're a country at war - we are not , by the way ; nobody is trying to invade us and haven 't done for 70 years . And then , of course , there 's the great mythical villan that nobody can catch , that former employee of the USA , Osama Bin Laden . How come they can 't catch him ? They can catch virtually everybody else , they can put men on the moon , imprison dangerous criminals but they can 't catch a man with a towel on his head whose picture is everywhere . Once again , perhaps it 's all a scam , perhaps that 's the deal with Osama , who knows ? Where is he ? Does he really exist ? Is he really in cahoots with the ruling elite and is the whole ' culture of fear ' and the so - called ' War on Terror ' merely designed to keep us all in our place , like a kind of religion . Is it all another ' Opium for the People ' ? We occasionally hear about the status of the current terror alert - it 's either low , moderate , substantial , severe or critical . Well , I don 't know what it is right now , but what 's the betting it 's not low or moderate ? Got to keep everybody on tenterhooks , eh ? Why is it that the recession is supposedly a big , full - on thing , much bigger than in the early nineties , that we should all be concerned about , but people are still going on foreign holidays , there are still ads on the TV for cars - a Golf for only £ 14 , 000 ? Fourteen grand is a lot of money in a cash - starved country with a recession of the size an enormity our respective Governments and media organisations are talking about . Who CAN afford a Golf for just £ 14 , 000 in these troubled economic times we 're being told about ? And what about the crowded cafés and restaurants in London . I pass them daily and inside there are loads of people eating and drinking , there are bottles of wine on the table , the food is ridiculously expensive for what it is but even now , as I sit here in an upbeat sandwich bar on Holborn Circus at 4pm looking around me there are people sipping tea , munching on almond croissants and the like . Why ? Haven 't they got jobs to go ? They certainly don 't look unemployed and if they are , why are they here when they should be out looking for a job ? For some reason , nothing seems to ring true to me , although I 'm sure I 'll be told that it is all very true , very real . Unemployment lurches towards three million , the ' war ' in Afghanistan continues apace , news reports of casualties in a far off land , just like in 1984 . And then , of course , there 's the UK 's growing ' celeb ' culture . How come we 're all prepared to ' cut our cloth accordingly , ' batten down the hatches ' and so on but are quite content to watch various celebs , like Jordan , on shopping sprees with , supposedly , not a care in the world ? Why the hell do we accept it ? Why the hell has there not been some kind of revolution or uprising , why has nobody appeared as a people 's champion , why has there been little in the way of rioting in the streets , why is there no militant group ( or groups ) attacking the icons of wealth and big business ? No , everything simply carries on . Perhaps nothing has really happened at all . Perhaps it is just a lot of posturing , a lot of political manipulation , creating a climate of fear through terrorist alerts and ' economic downturns ' that might be all wildly exagerrated . Recessions encourage apathy and give businesses an excuse to do nothing . Terrorism , or the threat of it , gives the authorities the excuse to clamp down on the man in the street . Local councils abuse anti - terrorist laws purely because they can and we all sit back and let it happen . Posted by Now , I would call my lateness pure disorganisation . Others would say it 's all part and parcel of our increasingly ' time poor ' society . I think they 're talking rubbish , but it 's amazing how , if you say something for long enough , eventually it becomes gospel . I often attend press conferences about this and that , notably the launch of new food products , where the latest trends are rolled out by marketing directors in an effort to explain the rationale behind the new product . A common ' finding ' is that we 're living in an increasingly ' time poor ' society , meaning we don 't have time to do stuff anymore - even eating is being done ' on - the - go ' and ' lunch ' as we know it , is becoming obselete . More and more people are sitting at their desks with a baguette rather than get up and take in some fresh air . The big question here is why ? Why are we time poor ? We have the internet , which makes life surprisingly easy , especially for journalists and , indeed , for everyone else as we no longer have to visit a travel agent to book flights or holidays , we can shop online and save the journey to the supermarket , there 's email instead of ' snail mail ' so we don 't need to visit our local post office and queue to buy a stamp . Technology , in other words , has made life a breeze and it means that we have more time to do the things we wouldn 't normally have the time to do . Why , then , are we tied to our desks , skipping lunch ? Now there 's a phrase . " Skipping lunch " . It used to be something we did once in a while when somebody was away and we found ourselves doing the work of two people . " Oh , I 'll have to skip lunch today , " we might say to one of our colleagues . " Pete 's away and I 've got to write up his product pages by 5pm . " But no , Pete 's not away - he 's not having a holiday this year because he can 't afford it , so what 's wrong with a spot of lunch ? I 'm starting to feel guilty when I go to out to lunch . We 're allowed one hour and I like to use the time to take a walk , even if it 's raining ( I 'll take an umbrella ) . I don 't want to be sitting at my desk ALL DAY , I need a break , I need to stretch my legs , get a bit of exercise and a change of scenery ; but as I leave the office , I notice that my colleagues have a sandwich on their desks and they 're still sitting there , sandwich half - eaten , when I return , refreshed . What , I ask , has changed ? Why are we time poor ? I 've already alluded to the internet and how it 's supposedly made life easier for us all , so what 's changed , why can we no longer afford a proper lunch break ? Why do we work late ? Ironically , we 're all earning less money so it 's not as if there 's an incentive . The worst thing , of course , is that if everybody keeps doing it - skipping lunch or having a ' working lunch ' , which is even worse in my book - then it will become the norm and lunch breaks might suddenly disappear from contracts of employment . Even more annoying is the fact that if we 're all putting in the extra hours , ' skipping lunch ' and working through , what exactly are we achieving ? Despite ALL of our ' hard work ' the country is back in recession ? In other words , it 's not achieving anything , but then you might sit back and start thinking : somebody is benefitting from all this unnecessary hard work , but who is it ? Yesterday , at around 1845hrs , I was on a train coming home from work . Next to me , across the aisle , was a man frantically tapping out an email ( or something ) on a laptop . Like me , he 'd been working all day too , but obviously not hard enough . He figured he could still cram in some work while sitting on the train . But how misguided ! He won 't be thanked for his hard graft . He 'll probably be made redundant , but he thinks that , by working really hard , he might avoid the axe . Think again , my friend . Put the laptop away and enjoy the ride . My wife mentioned to me the other day that the country seems to be reverting back to Dickensian times : an increasingly poorer population working long hours for less pay while employed by the equivalent of the wealthy , unscrupulous mill owners of the past . There are more rats on our streets as local councils cut back on refuse collection and who knows , perhaps one day the plague will return and then , perhaps , another Great Fire of London . How exciting ! Staggering incompetence is an increasingly common facet of modern society based , no doubt , on greed . Greed ? Well , yes , because the business world doesn 't like spending money , it has no interest in ' the customer ' and only exists for profit . This means one thing : business pays peanuts and it knows it 's getting monkeys , but , hey , it saves a bit of money here and there . The key thing for the consumer to remember is simple : do not trust a businessman ( or woman ) ; they are not acting in your best interests , they are acting in their own best interests . When you 're queuing in the bank to deposit some money , the reason you 're in a queue is because there are not enough cashiers on the desk . The reason for that is because the bank wants to save money . There is no interest in the customer at all . In fact , it 's the banks that I want to discuss in this article . Lloyds TSB to be precise . Let 's get back to that great word ' incompetence ' . I went to Lloyds TSB to initiate a balance transfer from a Nat West credit card to a Lloyds one . In other words , I 'm bringing some custom to Lloyds . You 'd think that they would bend over backwards to help me ( and keep my custom ) but no , they are incompetent . Oh , hold on , they want my custom , but they have no interest in me whatsoever . As long as they can get my money , that 's all they care about . Sadly , despite the fact that I 'm a journalist and possess a very sensitive ( and tiny ) digital recording device , I didn 't think of taping the whole thing . If I had done , I could be having a field day right now . But let 's just live with the fact that I didn 't and that all future conversations with bank managers will be secretly recorded - for training purposes , you understand . So , I enter the Redhill , Surrey , branch of Lloyds TSB and ask if I can make a balance transfer . I 'm not planning on closing my Nat West credit card . By and large , Nat West have been very good and very helpful . I 'm just working on a way of reducing interest charges and freezing a debt for a few months . I won 't go into details for obvious reasons , but allow me to continue . I want a balance transfer for a certain amount of money . I 'm directed to an office with my banker ( I use that word advisedly and should , perhaps , substitute the ' b ' with a ' w ' ) and take a seat . We discuss the amount and contact Nat West by phone to check the existing balance and most recent transactions . A figure is reached and I say that is how much I wish to transfer , ie pay off . But oh no , that 's not enough for Lloyds . They want more money and suggest that I should make the transfer for a couple of hundred pounds more to cover any interest payments that might still keep my Nat West card ' active ' . I agree , but it 's my lunch break , I 'm a bit rushed , but okay . Over the weekend , I get a little disgruntled about the whole thing . It niggles a bit and I get a feeling that I haven 't really been treated fairly . In fact there were a few things that got to me : one was the fact that the man in the bank was asking me how much I earned . Why ? It wasn 't necessary . Foolishly , I told him . Another was that , because we both phoned Nat West while in the meeting , he knows my security question . On top of that he told me that , should I so wish , I could , if I ventured into the high street , get credit for up to £ 25 , 000 if I wanted to ( inciting me to get into further debt ) . In short , I realised that I didn 't like the bloke one bit , but , for the moment , let 's leave him out of this . The next scene of this sorry tale is that I 'm sitting in a car , in a car park , on my mobile phone , with my wife , trying to talk to Lloyds on the phone about the whole thing . In a nutshell , I want to know if it is possible to simply stop the transaction , take a rain check and then , possibly reconsider the transfer in less hurried circumstances , ie not in my lunch break . I have to go through the procedure : ' key in your account number , key in your date of birth , key in the last three digits on the back of your debit card ' . And then there 's the infuriating ' you are important to us ' bit where they keep you hanging on the line waiting for ' an adviser ' . Eventually , I get through to Sue . She is incredibly rude . Very curt and bad - tempered and showing a clear sign that she lacks patience with her ' customers ' . I ask for her name but she 's only prepared to give her first name . She 's not obliged , she tells me , to give me her full name despite the fact that I 've given her my full name and my date of birth . I am transferred to another adviser and have to explain the situation again . If possible , can I stop the transfer going through , I 'm not happy with the bank 's attitude and I 'd rather stop the process and restart it at a later date . I 'm told to hold on as she , whoever she is , needs to talk to her supervisor . I can only imagine what goes on while I 'm put on hold . Something like , " Listen , this guy wants to stop the process , get out of the deal . What do I tell him ? " And I imagine the ' supervisor ' says something like , " We can 't have that . Tell him , I don 't know , tell him he can 't . " So she comes back and says I can 't and , to cut a long story short , I realise that I 'm not getting anywhere . Another line of questioning I take is this : " Can you tell me if the transfer has actually gone through ? " There is simply no record whatsoever and nobody appears to know . I 'll have to wait for it to go through - which means that Lloyds gets its fee and then , of course , they don 't care , they 've made their money and if I want to transfer the money elsewhere I can . But for now , they 've closed ranks and are being very , very unhelpful . I realise that I 'm not getting anywhere and hang up . Oddly , the night before , I 'd dealt with a very competent member of staff who told me that changing things on the transfer shouldn 't be a problem . How wrong he was ! And how interesting it is that different members of Lloyds ' staff are told different stories . For some it 's a case of it should be fine to make changes . For others , it 's simply impossible to do anything and I 'll have to wait to see what happens . Amazing . I hang up . As the week progresses , I wonder why the transfer hasn 't gone through . Nat West has heard nothing and Lloyds claims it has no record of the transaction . Well , we all know why Lloyds has no record . It wants the transaction to go through so that it can collect the fee . Bankers are wide boys , rogues and , in some cases , criminals . Wasn 't it HSBC that was discovered money laundering for drug dealers ? I can 't remember the details , but it 'll be out there on the internet somewhere . All week I 'm left feeling a little anxious . Nobody seems to know whether the transaction has gone through or not , Lloyds says that once a transfer is initiated it can 't be stopped . Nat West - the innocent party in all this - says nothing is pending . Meanwhile , having transferred a fairly large sum of money from my Nat West credit card into my Lloyds current account , I 'm accruing interest that won 't stop until the card has it 's balance ' transferred ' by Lloyds . It 's now Wednesday morning . I 'm in London at the Marriott County Hall . Just across the river from that other rather dishonest institution , the Houses of Parliament . After my meeting , I decided to call Lloyds again . What I want from them is fairly straightforward : I want to know a couple of things . First , has the transfer been activated . Is it , in other words , in the process of happening or has it stalled for some reason , possibly due to my conversations with the bank in the car park last weekend ? In which case , fine , I 'll simply initiate the process again . But I can 't get a straight answer . First I go through all the fuss of keying in my account number , the last three digits on my debit card , I answer security questions and , once again , I get through to somebody at the call centre . I ask the questions , but I get , " I 'll have to talk to my supervisor about that that , I 'm going to put you on hold and . . . " . The line goes blank and then , about two minutes later she comes back . She 's stalling for time , but she does let slip that there 's no record of a transfer having taken place and would I like to do one on the phone with her now ? No , thanks , but what I would like is a letter of confirmation that the transfer has not happened so that I can either to do the whole thing again at a later date or do it with another bank , a bank that might , perhaps , be a little more competent than Lloyds TSB . " I 'll have to go back to my supervisor . . . . " and off she goes again . By now , I 'm losing my patience . Surely she can tell me whether my balance transfer has gone through or not and surely , if , as the customer phoning ' customer services ' I should be able to get a letter confirming that the transfer has not gone through or , conversely , that it has gone through . But no , she has no idea what to do and has to discuss the matter with her supervisor again . By now , I 'm getting very edgy . " But I 'm the customer , you 're customer services , surely . . . " . I was on the phone for at least 90 minutes and by the time I finished - having achieved nothing - I was in a quiet , seething rage . I went back to the office and decided to call the branch , in Redhill , and speak to the guy who did the balance transfer for me - his name was Jack . But when I called the number first there was no answer , then , on a second try , I got somebody else who said Jack was in a meeting . I said I 'd call later and when I did , I got Jack . Could he tell me anything about the balance transfer that him and I had arranged and whether or not it had gone through ? I never heard from him . and then I went home and I thought I 'd try again , and see if somebody at the Swansea call centre was less incompetent - although I already knew the answer to that question . Watch out , I thought , for anybody who uses the word ' obviously ' . Whenever it 's used , you can bet that whatever is being discussed or whatever point is being made , isn 't obvious . I was pleasantly surprised . Donna , for that was her name , was understanding and friendly and put my mind at ease . Fine , she 'd have to speak to her supervisor , but the word ' obviously ' was not used and she came back with an answer : in short , the balance transfer had not gone through and it wouldn 't go through unless I went to the bank - any branch of Lloyds - and started the whole process again . I went downstairs to watch television , safe in the knowledge that the balance transfer hadn 't gone through and that , under more relaxed circumstances , I 'd go to the bank over the weekend and start again . What a relief , I thought . There 's nothing worse than not knowing where you are , being in the dark , especially when it concerns money . But now , thanks to Donna who , incidentally , compensated me for the long mobile phone calls I 'd made earlier in the week AND gave me £ 25 for the simple fact that I 'd been messed around , all was fine . After lunch my phone rang . It was my wife . The balance transfer that I 'd been assured hadn 't gone through , had gone through . I found myself back in a rage and stormed off to the Redhill branch to have a go . I felt like Michael Douglas in Falling Down and had somebody handed me a gun or a rocket launcher , I 'm convinced that I would have massacred half of Redhill as I stormed towards the bank . He ushered me back to the bank and into an office where I continued my rant about how incompetent they all were and I demanded , menacingly , my hair resembling that of the Toecutter in Mad Max , a letter that I hadn 't received before , detailing the entire transaction , the fee , the lot . I noticed his hand shaking ( either with anger or fright ) as he typed and printed out the letter . We shook hands and I left the bank , still seething , but feeling a bit like John Candy in Uncle Buck when he emerges from a meeting with one of his neice 's teachers . I needed a drum roll and a ' yeah ! ' as I headed back to the office , but then changed my mind and headed straight for the barbers for a number four crop - just what the doctor ordered . The moral of this story ? Forget being nice to people . Remember one thing : they 're out to get you . Nobody 's your friend and least of all banks and big business . Forget also ' peaceful protest ' , it 'll get you nowhere . The only way to achieve anything is to be confrontational . Direct action , armed struggle - alright , perhaps that 's a little extreme , although you could use a Spud - o - Matic - is the only way to get people to sit up and listen . Talking is a waste of time . Alright , I felt mildly guilty about my behaviour , but now that I 've calmed down , I realise that had I maintained a sense of calm , I would have achieved nothing - treat people like they treat you . I am a journalist / writer and magazine editor and , of course , a blogger too . My main blog is called NoVisibleLycra , it 's mainly about cycling , but it 's also very much becoming a world travel blog as I travel frequently in my current job . As a result of this I review hotels and document my travel on the blog and there are even features that , rather sadly , perhaps , show the view from my various hotel room windows and many of the rooms I 've stayed in while away on business . I know , it 's very sad , but it 's also a bit of fun and , ultimately , it acts as a kind of diary . In fact , talking of diaries , NoVisibleLycra has been running since September 2009 and I 've kept it updated weekly to the present day . I also run a blog entitled TeashopAndCaff , which , as its title suggests , is all about teashops and caffs . It isn 't as big as NoVisibleLycra , but it 's still worth a read and I plan to keep updating it , although I must say infrequently , it 's only updated when I find somewhere worthy of mention , which ain 't that often . Another blog I update occasionally is matthewmoggridge . blogspot . com , but bear in mind that word ' occasionally ' as I rarely post there these days . It was the first blog I created and it kind of got lost in all the fun I 've had with NoVisibleLycra , the above - mentioned blog that 's been running almost 10 years . I really enjoy writing . In fact , I 'd advise anybody out there who wants to improve their writing skills to start up a blog and keep it regularly updated . That 's the key , keeping it going . There 's nothing worse , in my opinion , than stumbling across a blog and noticing that it was last updated five years ago . You know what I mean . It 's best if the blog has some kind of theme , otherwise it 'll become a case of writing about what you had for breakfast - and that can be very boring for your readers . That said , I think my blog , somewhere , has a photograph of my breakfast , so I guess rules are there to be broken . Enjoy my blogs , whichever one you 're reading .
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I now own the 2nd Annual VDG blog book complete with wrap - covers ( so they won 't wear out as quickly ) . It is an accomplishment I am very happy is through . As wonderful as blogging is I cannot post every single picture I take . In order to keep the other pictures I love but didn 't post I put them into this book so it ends up being about 60 percent pictures and 30 percent text and 10 percent white space . This year it is seeming like there may be a lot more text . Maybe I need to get a super cool camera and work on artistic shots . There are so many amazing photographers I know I 'd like to copy . : ) Upstairs Apartment $ 1100 plus utilitiesnonsmoker , no petsavailable 4 / 12 Bedroom718 - 748 - 44408215 5th AveFriends : If you know someone that is thinking to Bay Ridge or if YOU would like to move to Bay Ridge , Brooklyn , NY I just saw a sign for an apartment near my place . You can now imagine me nodding the all - knowing nod and raising my eyebrows in the you - know - you - want - it fashion . There is a laundromat and grocery store across the street . It is above a lawyers office . It is next to the cutest children 's clothing store ( although it is pretty expensive ) . What I consider to be the best Chinese food in Bay Ridge is 3 / 4 of a block away . It is close to many ward members ( including me : D ) . Century 21 ( an awesome Macey 's - type department store ) , GAP , Children 's Place , NY & Co , Vitamin Shoppe , 5 Brothers Hamburger Place , etc . are a mere 3 . 5 - 4 blocks away . The schools are pretty great and very diverse . Street parking is do - able . Call right away . Apartments go pretty fast here . C ' mon , you KNOW you want it . ; ) Disclaimer : I am not sure what the apartment looks like , but I am hoping that it is marvelous . We just got a package in the mail . Usually we don 't get any notice of any kind until they leave us a slightly threatening FINAL NOTICE . Then we have to rush down to the post office . Maybe the guy is new - - maybe the good people of Bay Ridge have reached their limit of USPS non - delivery . If we hear the doorbell ( which is a huge if ) then we rush down the stairs as if we had no idea stop , drop and roll worked for putting out a fire on our shirt tails . If we are very lucky they stand there for a few moments . But I think most of the time the count to two in their head and , if they are not threatened by some nearby dog in his / her owner 's arms they may leave a notice . Otherwise they bolt to their van to avoid the meter police for their double parking ( a measly $ 119 fine ) . So today I zipped down the stairs . The USPS package guy ( whom I have never before seen ) was already in his van . I watched him put the package in the back of his truck and begin to get into the drivers seat . S had followed me down and I shouted for her to bring me my shoes as quickly as possible . I told her to toss them down the stairs . Thankfully the guy saw me and headed back with the package . He told me since there was no intercom he couldn 't tell if I was home or not . Right then S came down the steps with my shoes . She threw them down the last four steps ( thank you , dearie ) . I look at them after I thanked the USPS guy and she had thrown down my fanciest , Sunday , high heeled shoes . What better time to make a fashion statement than chasing after the mail man with high heeled shoes . We now have some more music , yay ! A few days ago W 's phone broke ( sorry if you were trying to get a hold of him and weren 't able ) . It was really weird since it was new ( not even 30 days old ) . He picked it up and it didn 't work . The back wouldn 't come off . We assumed that T had helped it end it 's short life . Sprint refused to honor its insurance policy . We were frustrated . Then right before we went to sleep for the evening I said , It looks melted all the way through . What in our house could melt it all the way through that T would access to . Wayne broke the back off the phone and lo and behold it had melted from the inside out . Part of me is beginning to believe the phone had a toddler - panic - attack , couldn 't handle the stress , and melted itself . We took it to Sprint . They tried to figure out if there was a way we could have done it ourselves and then replaced the phone . Yay . You can now contact W . Yesterday S wanted to make jewelry . We went into the kitchen and made some corn starch clay . We kneaded the dough until I felt it was ready for some food coloring . " Now this will dye it , " I said . " Mom how will it die ? " S said . She has such tender feelings she is worried about the life of the dough . : ) This morning we received an email from our friends the Urban Tangerine family . They sang a stirring and delightful rendition of " My Darlin ' Valentine . " http : / / www . youtube . com / watch ? v = xTclC3F655E Thanks ! Of course you know that copying is a sincere complement so I decided we 'd copy them . A few of us stayed home from church because we were not feeling well , but I think we are on the mend . Happy Valentine 's Day ! W did not know I was filming this until the end . I love his sweetness with the kids ! You can tell right off he is an excellent father . We heart you at the end was because I thought I was showing you our heart cake S , T , and I made to celebrate the day of Valentines ( thus the picture - - that sort of makes it look like pirate R and his matey S are about to conquer the enemy ship - - white heart shaped cake , aarrrgh ) . Oh , I know our singing is creative - - but what joy to sing ! Enjoy ! Since filming the above T has been following me around the house with the camera saying , " Swile " ( smile ) . After I uploaded the clip he began singing " O ma da ' lin . " What blessedness ! P . S . I think we may have gotten sick waiting for W to dig out our car so we could run errands ( and get the free kid 's meals at Ikea ) . That drift was anything BUT puny . It was at least four feet across . You could step on it and you would not sink - - it was ice . W is amazing . He got us bundled into the car and he dug us out with a shovel from that shop owner 's friend ( thank you ) . Dear R : Today was the Valentines Day Bake Sale at your school . I forgot to give you the money so I ran it over to the school to give to you . You looked so happy when you got it - - it made me feel like the world 's best mom . : ) Tonight as we were eating dinner you told us about your day . I love this time because I feel we really connect much more than we do when we do not eat dinner together . You told me about your interactions at lunch . You said that since I gave you $ 4 and you really only needed one that you gave the other dollars to three other kids in your class that didn 't have any money . So they all got goodies from the bake sale and not just you . When you read this you can imagine yourself getting one of the hugs you have tell me that I am smushing you and to please stop . : ) Then you told me that you didn 't get a snack and that no one shared ( the teacher last year told me that you don 't like to take other people 's food so I am not sure if that is the case today ) . I felt sad that you had not found the snack in your bag ( S found for him later - - and promptly shared it with T ) . I love you R . I love your kindness and generosity . Thank you for being my boy . Love , Mom Dear S : Tonight I was watching Julie and Juliet absorbing Julie 's desire to create something while making a delicious and healthy non - Juliet Child meal . You came in and wanted to help . I love it when you do that . Of course you went and got your hands washed ( after a quiet reminder ) and promptly found the oatmeal ( not a part of the meal ) and began running your hands through it , claiming there was sugar at the bottom ( there was not ) . After the oatmeal was re - topped and moved out of sight you skipped to the bathroom to wash your hands . You did an excellent job of stirring our Tuscan Vegetable soup with not enough chicken broth and too many tomatoes ( we did some rebalancing later ) . You called Daddy for dinner ( which brought everyone else ) . We all loaded around the table and you proudly announced that we were having dinner you helped fix . My heart beamed with pride at your pride . After everyone had finished eating except you and I ( you on your second helping our delicious soup ) I told you that you did a good job helping me fix our soup . You then elaborated on your hard work and that stirring was the most important job in cooking - - even more than what I did ( everything else : ) ) . Of course , I nodded and winked . You are such a good girl . I love you so dearly . Thank you for being my girl . Love , Mom Dear T : Today we were nearly alone ( S was asleep on the couch ) . We sat at the table eating grapes . You hopped around on the ground declaring boldly that you were dasing ( dancing ) . I raised my shoulders up and down with your type of rhythm . We both laughed . It was fun . After that you snuggled up in my arms and said you were sweepy ( sleepy ) . I got you gathered up and we went in to lie down on my bed so you could sleep ( thanks for giving me a hug as we walked ) . Of course , the moment we both began to close our eyes to " sweep " you jumped up and started dasing . again . Then I said " Lie down , T . " You laid down for 1 . 5 seconds then leaped up and danced again . Then you pointed at my nose and said " nose . " I immediately tickled you . You fell down on the bed and pillow laughing . Jumped up , pointed to my nose and said , " Nose . " Again I tickled you . We were both laughing . Thanks for making my days brighter . I love you ! Love , MomP . S . Aunt Chelise took this photo . I love it . She is such an amazing photographer ! The other day we were preparing to have dinner . T was asked to give the blessing on the food . For some reason this request would have caused delight and smiles , but this time however it produced a small non - screaming tantrum . It went something like this . . . W was prompting T with words to say . W : Please bless the food . T : NO peas bless food . W : Bless Mommy . T : NO bless Mommy . W : Please bless R . T : NO peas bless R . W : Bless S . T : NO BLESS S . You get the idea . It was a sweet , in a rebellious sort of way . Some of you have been to my apartment . It is not pretty . It is not one that gives you a visual hug . It is one that says - - " Help me " [ gasp ] " I 'm falling apart . " Sadly a few weeks at a sanitarium is not an option for it . And since our dear landlords feel like saints doing the absolute minimum ( and that is the smallest of minimums ) . I am going to take a leap and put my security deposit into jeopardy . After living here for a renter 's long time and having that paneling on my wall give me dirty looks every day I have decided to make some changes . No , I am not signing up to be a reality redecorating show desperado [ though I live in a re - decorator 's heavenly heck ] , I am taking it into my own hands ( Mwah ha ha ) . Last week I called in to give them my extensive list of fixings . It was extensive ( what can I say - - I 'm a compiler - - not a one - at - a - time - r ) . After listening for a few minutes the lady ( probably the properties manager ) flatly said to me , " Do you just sit around your apartment all day and look for things that are wrong with it ? " Seriously , she really said that . Is your mouth gaping ? Mine was . Sadly my cool was lost and my face was hot . Out came a jumble of outraged words ending with I want the owner to call me ( he has not ) . It was not pretty . I think I scared her . Just for the record , I do not recommend losing one 's temper . Normally results vary from bad to terrible . But this time it must have been the push she needed to send someone over to assess the turmoil . He is going to fix the : kitchen floorrotting counter topchipping bathroom doorhallway doorwaysheaters in the kitchen and front rooms ( hopefully ) Now here is the list of things I want to fix . Yes , it is extensive . Yes , it is a lot to hope for . I don 't mind if you scroll past it to read the ending . It is mostly for my benefit . KitchenPaint cupboards whiteNew FlooringNew counter top by sinkUnder cabinet lightingPaint over wall paperEventually new sink sprayerWay to cover up holes in sinkMore cabinets ? HallwayMaybe paint whiteAdd mirrorBathroomGet rid of mildewPaint the dooPosted by T , now you are two years old . I cannot believe how the time has flown since you were born . I remember the day you were born . We drove to the hospital ( which was an hour away ) . We waited in the waiting room for awhile before getting admitted . When you came we were delighted . You were sweet and delightful from the beginning . We took you home and everyone was delighted to see you . It was glorious . You crawled , walked , and talked early . You keep us laughing . We love you dearly ! Happy Birthday ! Determined to take control of my health I have decided to , like my good brother and sister - in - law David and Penny , join sparkpeople . com . Do you want to do it with me ? I 'd like to have a little support with it . . . nice to have people doing it with me . If you 'd like to and you want me to follow up with you . Truth of the matter is , I am interested in cooking healthy food that makes me and my family feel fabulous . I need to live for as long as possible - - I plan on seeing my great grandchildren ( and with any luck my great - great grandchildren ) . Leave a comment on my blog if you are interested . : ) I know . . . you 're curious . You want to . We 'll be healthy people together . I guess we can contact one another through our sparkpeople pages . If you are already on sparkpeople I believe we can contact one another that way . At Christmas time our friends , Bishop and Martha Motzing gave my family a Sacrament Meeting Reverence kit . Included were : multi - colored click pens , small cute notebooks , and some other reverence toys . For the parents there were some very delicious , stress - relieving chocolates . Thank you so much ! Reverence has increased exponentially . Since then T has become very attached to any small notebook and the pens that click different colors . Tonight for example he said , " I sweep nackback and pen . " Translation for that I 'm fairly sure is , " I am sleeping with my notebook and pen . " 19 Oct 2012 S ( age 7 ) : Mom , what does c - l - i - m - b spell ? Mom ! Are you listening to me ? ! T ( age 4 ) : It spells " darn it ! " Me : It doesn 't spell anything until you can use your kind , calm voice . 2 Aug Sometimes my kids assume that anything in an aerosol can is air freshener - - which I don 't even use that often . Sunscreen . Cooking spray . Hairspray . Perfume . . . my house has stunk like it on several occasions . 16 June 2012 T was holding the doll and he dropped it and picked it up . I asked if it was okay and he said , " She 's not dead . She keeps her eyes open so she won 't be interrupted . " I leaned down and kissed his sweet short - haired head and he grinned at me then he leaned down and kissed his baby on the head . 11 May 2012 My 4 - yr - old made me smile today when he told me , " Mom , you da - prized me . " Then after his brother told him that he had guts for jumping off one of the rungs at the school play - yard , " I do ? What 's guts ? " Then again a moment ago when he sweetly offered my husband his Thomas the Tank Engine backpack ( size 8 1 / 2 by 11 inches ) for W to take to work . What a sweetie ! 31 Dec 2011 S asked me today , " Mom , could you please find me a time machine so I can go back in time and see Baby Jesus ? " How do you respond to that ? I wish I had a time machine too . 27 Dec 2011 T was hopping around at bedtime and bumped something over . He ran over , " I 'm so sorry , Mom . I am so sorry I messed up that mess . " 3 Sept 2011 We were in the car driving home from a ward party when T called out , " Am I four yet ? " " Not yet " we replied . With a few moments thought he then asked , " How long until I grow up ? " 23 Aug 2011 I try not to let it bother me when my youngest runs from a forkful of dinner to the other room while yelling " YUCK ! " Really , how gross can spaghetti from a can be ? ! Turns out that after a month of non - spaghetti dinners he forgot that he likes it . Then after S forced him to eat it he ran in and hollered , " I like it ! " Whew ! What a relief . 27 Apr 2011 We were going to pick the kids up from school and T wanted to ride his scooter . He said , " Mom , I want to ride my scooter and be fast like a band - aid . " I did not know band - aids were , um , fast . 27 Apr 2011 T came out of his room with a huge smile on his face and then said , " Mom , I am so grouchy . " Then he smiled again . I 'll take more of that grouchy , anytime . 13 Mar 2011 S is a determined missionary . She has talked to a few kids in her class and her teacher about Jesus . She gets so excited when they say they go to church . Then when she doesn 't see them she says , " Oh , they went to church when they were little . " 13 Mar 2011 S and T were having a heart to heart talk about something they were eating . It went like this . T : It tastes like dinosaur . S : Yes . It does ! 6 Feb 2011 T asked me to get him a cup of hot chocolate . Upon hearing the word " chocolate " S rushed into the room and cried , " ME TOO . " I said , " We don 't have hot chocolate , but you can have some chocolate milk . " They agreed . I said , " Let 's report to the kitchen . " " Yes , " said T , " Let 's repo the chicken . " 3 Jan 2011 T was trying to feed me his PB & J and I was resisting . Finally I said , " No , I will not eat the sandwich . But , I will eat your arm . " I immediately began pretending to eat his arm with the accompanying ar , ar , ar sound . " MOM , " he squealed , " THAT ' S GROSS . " 11 Oct 2010 T was up when W was leaving for work this morning . T followed W all around the house holding onto his scrubs and saying over and over , " Daddy no go work . " Then , " I nee my had - dy daddy no - book . " ( I need my handy - dandy notebook - - thank you " Blues Clues . " 22 Aug 2010 The other day R was trying to help T recognize that what he was doing was not entirely helpful to the mood of the day . It went something like this , " Don 't do that T , it 's too ignoring . " I think he meant annoying . : ) 13 Aug 2010 I just got the kids to bed . T rushed out and sat back up on my lap . Then he turned to me and cheerfully said , " I caked up . S caked up . R caked up . Daddy caked up . " Thank you T for the family update . I am glad to know we all have cake and are awake . 3 June 2010 S came to me tonight with a cut on her hand . She did the pity - me - please cry and then she said , " Mom maybe you should do for me what Daddy does for you when you don 't feel good . " I smiled and said , " What is that ? " She said , " He gets you goodies when you 're sick . " Thanks W ! : D 31 May 2010 T loves to copy W . It gets really exciting right around bedtime . W gives me a kiss . T gives me a kiss . W tells the children , " Go to sleep . " T tells the kids , " Go oo sweep . " 28 April 2010 Yesterday the kids were playing with their friend , Pierson . I am not sure exactly what they were playing , but I heard S say to Pierson , " You can marry me , if you want to . " There was no answer . 4 January 2010 T was sitting on my lap while I was reading a blog . It was so funny I started laughing heartily and T joined in . I told W , " It 's so funny . " T added a few more giggles to the mix and said , " It 's so funny . " Then laughed some more , which made me laugh more , which made him laugh more . Laughing is delightful ! Dec 15 T loves to talk . He loves to have an " I love you ! " sound off with me . It goes like this . M : I love you . T : I la oo . M : I love you . T : I LA oo . M : I love you . T : I LA OO . It gets louder every time . Oh , sweetness . Dec 15 T has started talking non - stop . Today when we were preparing to eat dinner S was asked to pray . Before she had time to start T began and finished before S had a chance to lift an eyelash . He finished with a grand " AMEN . " I love him so dearly . Oct 14 This morning R rushed into the room W and I were in and shouted , " T has learned a new word ! He can say ' Ikea ! ' " W and I took a moment to absorb what he was saying and then we burst out laughing . R understood this as disbelief and went to T and sweetly asked several times , " Say ' Ikea . ' " Apparently " Ikea " to T was a one time thing . Oct 7 I was lying on my bed for a minute . T brought his special blanket and came to lie by me . He sat right next to my head , carefully tucked my head into his blanket , and lay down . I love how sweet he is ! Oct 6 T has gotten rather chatty as of late and sometimes will playfully go into a yes / no war with me . Like this , " Tommy do you . . . ? " Tommy says , " Yes . " I say , " No . " He says , " Yes . " You get the idea . Sept 2 R had run into a piece of furniture while wearing goggles and hurt himself . S lovingly came while I was consoling him with 3 or 4 blankets . Finally she came in with a Christmas hat - - you know the kind that is red with a ball on the end . She sweetly put on his head and said , " Now you 'll get all better . " What a dearie ! July 27 We went and saw Tiffany V in her play " Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat . " So taken by the person who played Joseph , S immediately went in search of him after the show was over . To no avail she left the theater screaming / sobbing , " WHERE IS JOSEPH ? I WANT JOSEPH ! ! ! " Did I mention that it was probably 11 pm or 12 am EST ( which she was still on , relatively ) . June 27 R has recently been making comments about the meals I have been fixing . " Mom , you are the best cooker in the world . " It makes me smile really big and think or say , " Thank you dear . Have another cookie . " June 27 The road to speaking can be a long and arduous one . T 's new word for the week is OW ! It 's rathe endearing and exasperating at the same time . For example he 's getting a tickle and at the end of the tickles he gleefully declares , " OW . " I give him a glass of water , to which he replies politely , " OW , " etc . " Hot " is a close second . June 11 R said , " I 'd like to be a bug . . . They are so small they probably won 't get hit by asteroids or comets . " Where did THAT come from ? : D June 10 " If we had a billion dollars then could we go to Grandma 's house , Mommy ? " " I want to see Jenna one last time . " - - S May 20 Tonight as the kids were taking their baths R suddenly came crying to me , " I lost my toy FOREVER down the drain . " I thought he said he lost his toe down the drain , so I checked to make sure all 10 toes were in tact . Then he told me that we would have to call the guy that does the water or else the WHOLE CITY would be plugged . All this from a 10 cent toy . May 13 Today S and I painted our nails . Directly after getting it done she fell and bumped her face . : ( She ran to me and cried for 10 seconds then she anxiously asked , " Are my nails ruined ? " April 26 In our primary there is a reward system in place where if the child brings his / her scriptures 6 weeks in a row then she / he gets a treat of sorts ( non - edible ) . Today S felt totally indignant that she did not earn a treat and in tears begged the primary president for a treat . The primary president smiled and after a brief consolation filled conversation said to S , " I don 't get a treat either . " S , unabated , wailed , " That 's because your OLD ! " She really isn 't old , but I guess anyone over 4 is old to S . : D March 27 T was playing trains with R and I told R told me that T likes things with wheels . I told him , " Just like you . " He smirked , " I don 't have wheels ! " March 25 On the train home the other day we were reading the book on Disney princesses . R noted that the princesses were all alike . Beauty got the Beast , Cinderella got the slipper , Snow White woke up , and the Little Mermaid got modest . March 17 At dinner one night we were having what everyone gave a 10 ( a rarity ) . S left the room for a moment . When she was out of sight R went over to her plate and began to pick up the fork to take a bite . From the next room we heard , " DON ' T EAT MY FOOD ! " Turns out she was in the bathroom with the door cracked open one inch which afforded a view of the table and the unforgiveable act in motion . Feb 21 In primary today the chorister told the kids that were left handed to sing by themselves . Her daughter delightedly shouted out , " Yes ! That 's me ! I have a left hand ! " Feb 21 A couple of Sundays ago we were late for church . W told them that being late to church made him feel frustrated . S soothingly said , " Don 't worry Dad . We know you are frustrating . " Jan 1 S has a double stroller , for dollies . However today she wanted to be a dolly . It took us 20 minutes to figure out how to get her out . Parents , beware of innocent looking double dolly strollers . Jan 1 R got a lot of games for Christmas . Some of them were card games . Just now I asked him what he was doing . He said , " Shoveling cards . " Dec 27 R went outside and said to literally every one passing by saying , " Happy Holidays . Happy Holidays . Happy Holidays . " S not wanting to miss out on the merriment shouted at the top of her lungs , " HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERY ONE ! ! ! " Dec 20 T loves to say Da Da Da when he 's very happy . He says Mumumum when he feels sad . Shouldn 't it be the other way around ? : D Dec 18 T loves to play pat - a - cake . He 'll do it over and over . He loves to follow W or M all around the house - literally - - all around the house . Dec 19 Today there was snow ALL day and S every five minutes hollered , " Okay , Mom . Let 's go play in the snow . " We had a snowball fight all the way home from picking R up from school .
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I had promised in one of my recent blog posts to share my methods of turning waking up into a positive event each morning , after one has experienced the shattering of reality as they know it by the death of a dearly , dearly beloved - in my case it was my sweet daughter . These methods may also have a positive effect for those who are feeling depressed or challenged , with or without the passing of a loved one . They have the power to change what we 're experiencing in our day - to - day reality , especially when it 's not so good . Sweet , soft dawn was not the joy it had been for all the years of my life . I was used to getting up around 6 a . m . , having a good , busy day , and being nicely tired by somewhere around 11 p . m . But while my daughter was sick , and after after she passed , upon waking the first few times , I realized a pattern was setting in where I started procrastinating at bedtime . Just a couple more things to do , one or two TV shows to watch , some beadwork to get done . . . and I found myself up til the wee hours , sometimes through the night til dawn , when I could at last not help but put my head down , only to realize that no matter what time I woke up , it was still the same crashing reality that hobbled my very heart and soul . So the first thing I did was realize that I would have to " be " in my mind . I would have to make it a comfortable place . I would have to own it , and not allow it to react with kneejerk emotion , but consciously guide it into smoother waters . In order to do that I had to acknowledge that Jess was made of energy , so she isn 't destructible . She is indestructible . That led me to think about what her expression of herself might now be in her new world . It led me to think about the fact that we all die , and it is a natural part of life , and each of us is essentially indestructible . It led me to remember that the reason there 's a veil of separation is because this is a magnificent , wonderful place , the place from which we come when we are born into this world , and the place to which we return after each worldly adventure . If we knew how beautiful it is , how nourishing and life supporting , we 'd probably all go jump off a bridge - but we each have our reasons for being here , so we mostly don 't do that . And we have the etheric part of our bodies reaching to the other worlds , connecting and receiving messages and guidance from higher sources . Most of us don 't know how to do this . We are not taught , in fact , it has been hidden from us . I remembered some things that had happened during the course of my life . Just before my father died , he came to me in a very vivid dream . We were in a field of grass sitting cross - legged facing each other , and he was a younger version of himself than when he actually passed over . He said to me " I love you , Sugar . " He was originally from Virginia , and Sugar is a common endearment for loved ones in that territory - he often called me Sugar . And I said , " I love you too . " He placed his palms up and I placed mine down on top of his beautiful palms . He said , " Take care of your mother . " And I said , " I will . " Then we rose , and had a good hug . After our hug , he walked to the edge of the forest . He had grown up in and loved the forested areas of Virginia so I figure he picked the place where we " met " . He said " I 'm going now . " And with a big smile and a wave , he , dressed in a bright , soft , warm red jacket , turned and walked into the woods . I awoke knowing he would soon die , and he did within a matter of days . Our connection was such a gift . Thank you Dad . I was reminded of another spiritual connection that I had initiated at a time when my sister was in trouble . She had somehow managed to become entangled in a relationship with a man who would not leave when she decided the relationship should be over . He was a real - time stalker , following her to restaurants where she dined with friends , sitting and watching her . Following her to her apartment where she lived alone , sitting on a little hill looking in the windows . She couldn 't shake him and was quite understandably scared . She was able to get help from the wonderful Centre County Women 's Resource Center , even to the point where he had crossed so many boundary lines he was finally arrested and held for 18 months . Stalking is not okay and it is against the law . She was scared as it neared time for his release . So as his release time neared , I decided to do a " spiritual intervention . " I sat in meditation ( which is not just a passive tool , it can be very powerful ) and called him to meet with me . We met on a spiritual level and talked . I reminded his " whole spiritual self " that what he was doing was against cosmic law - he didn 't have the right to treat another person the way he was , and I asked him inside himself if he was happy doing this . He said no . He understood that the ego part of himself , disassociated from his spiritual self , was crossing boundaries and going against his own true spiritual path . I asked him if he would please leave my sister alone after he was released , and he agreed he would . Upon his release from prison , he moved out of state , and she never heard from him or saw him again . I think this is an illustration of the power in learning how to communicate on spiritual levels . I believe that when we 're feeling vulnerable , we have the power to seek agreement with individuals when they 're in their spiritual form , which filters down to the physical , Earth - plane level after the meditation . But we can only ask , we cannot force or coerce . That doesn 't work . In their more whole spiritual form , they have to recognize things for themselves and agree so that it filters down to the ego level , so the conversation needs to be carefully orchestrated . Also it 's very important to say thank you - to acknowledge their realization that they are " off - path , " and their innate desire to self - correct . I believe that we can have this kind of spiritual communication with those who are living or passed on . We can do it for various purposes - to protect , to gain knowledge for historical work we are doing , etc . We can do it to smooth our relationships as we go about our daily lives . Meditation is a powerful tool . It connects us to levels higher than those we experience in our daily lives . Try an intervention with someone you 're having difficulties with and just watch the difficulties dissipate . So . Having had these experiences in life , I thought about how I could apply what I had learned to my vulnerabilities with Jessie 's passing and the pain of waking up . One morning , upon first opening my eyes and realizing I was here yet again , I decided to acknowledge my daughter 's growth . She was no longer the physical being that I raised and loved , she was more ! And knowing she was more , I realized she could lend me strength without being taken off task with whatever she 's doing on the higher levels , because I understand they 're somewhat holographic , so they can be in several places at once without losing any energy in any of the places they 're " working . " I decided to keep it simple . And I called to her , that first day , and said , " I can 't do this by myself , will you send your peace into my heart and help me to be strong ? " And I saw in my mind 's eye our two palms coming together in a high five , clap ! " You got it Momma ! " And I said " Let 's do this day ! " So we did . And this type of meditation , where I take an extra five minutes to touch base not only with Jess but with my Lovies who are still here , is how I begin my days . I high five with Jess first , then I think of all the Lovies in my life , my sweet husband , my beloved son , my pups , my relatives , and my heart fills with love . And my mind turns to the projects I 'm working on and I can go on , with this new relationship nicely in place . And my current relationships nicely acknowledged , in spirit form . What a great way to start a day in the danged new normal we 're creating . Here 's hoping all your dreams are sweet and that waking up is always a pleasure through learning how to connect spiritually with your Lovies and your own spiritual agenda for this lifetime . This is one way to " be here now " even though we can participate on different levels of " reality . " Let 's do this day ! You know how when you meet someone and you 're falling in love , they 're the very first thing on your mind when you wake up ? And they 're in your mind all day ? And they 're the last thing you think about when you fall asleep ? It 's like they permeate your waking life . If you 're very lucky , and very much in love , this can last for weeks , months , years . It 's wonderful . So as I teach myself to do different things and do things differently , I bring this to the painting that is inspired by this photograph . I don 't usually post too much about paintings while they 're in progress , but this one is taking quite some time so I will post as I go . I think this painting is one of my best , and it is birthing a new style that I will bring into subsequent works . It 's softer , and I like it . I am studying Stephanie Pui Mun Law 's tutorials in order to develop my own style the way I see it in my head . Stephanie is a master of watercolor whom I greatly admire . Might as well try to learn from one of the best . The upper left corner of the painting depicts the beautiful pines of Oregon , which I adore , and the beautiful waterfalls . After we scattered Jess 's ashes by Elowah Falls , the Lovies released lime green and pink balloons with notes and prayers written on them , and as they floated up through the sky a part of my heart went with them . They are appearing in my work now . This part of the painting is in the very early stages . I will glaze layers that gently pull out the features of the Spirit Women and the misty waterfoam surrounding them . And I 'll glaze layers over the landscape in the foreground , which is composed of beautiful ferns . So here 's a photo of the whole composition in its very early stages . I will post more as I progress . I am enjoying working in this softer style and discovering how I can work with the watercolor to preserve its own expression as well as convey what 's in my head . After we scattered her ashes in the beautiful , proper ceremony with all her Lovies , we had to bring some back on the plane , labeled with a steel tag with a number on it , in a very official looking totally sealed up white box . I thought it would kill me when we went through security and instead of my daughter going through the process ( which had made me cry when we brought her home to heal ) they took the box out and spent an e t e r n i t y scanning it . Oh LORD . I had also purchased two little containers to transfer her " leftover " ashes into , a private little ceremony I had by myself late one night in my studio after we got home . So I 've known for several months that I would need to scatter these " leftover " ashes here in PA , and have contemplated various places - - wanting to put them in places that Jess loved and felt safe in . I didn 't know when I would do this . I wasn 't looking forward to it . I knew it would bring pain . But it would also bring release , freedom , and a kind of peace . Yesterday was a day of good work , learning new technologies for bead pattern making , and I felt good , but what I 've discovered through this process is that a little time must be spent each night honoring and acknowledging my daughter , which I usually do by writing in my journal . Well that night I went a bit to the dark places - - realizing that I am waiting in the night for something that will never happen . She will never call again . I will never see her again . She will not visit . I could not save her . I was bouncing into the acceptance phase of the dang chart they provide so you can monitor your coming to terms with this kind of loss . I thought about the phone conversations we had had and wondered what I should have said or done . A huge piece of me and my life was missing . It hurt so much . I wanted to run away but there was nowhere to go to outrun this . And that was when I felt quite certainly that it was time to scatter the rest of her ashes . So I called my sweet sister at about 6 : 30 in the morning , miraculously , she was awake , and said she would come to be with me . Then I went in the bedroom to my husband , who was also miraculously just waking up , and , standing by the side of the bed , flopped myself across his body , which is a position we often take when we 're talking and he 's sleepy and I 'm not , and I asked him if he would take me to do this and he , in all his wonderful kindness said " Okay . " My sis arrived at about 9 a . m . I haven 't seen 9 a . m . in all the months since Jess died because it 's hard to sleep - - well not so hard to sleep but just awful waking up to reality . ( Blog post coming about how I 've learned to make waking up a good thing . ) So by 9 , I had somehow taken a shower , my hubby had fed the pups and let them out , and he 'd eaten some toast while I drank coffee . We were ready to go . We drove to a place here in PA where my hubby and I have spent a lot of time , and my daughter also spent a lot of time . It 's out in beautiful Nature , and you can see for miles around . It 's very special territory . We 've had picnics there , buried beloved pets there , made love under the trees there , and skinny dipped in the sacred waters there . I knew Jess also loved to swim there , so this was one of the places I chose to scatter her ashes . There is water in this beautiful place . And Jess loved it . In this photo I tried to capture the very last of the ripples that Jess 's ashes caused when we scattered them , just like the beautiful ripples she made in everyone 's lives whom she touched . I loved watching them flow so gently and peacefully across the water . We buried the little cardboard container that I had tapped goodnight so many times - - it was one of those with a photo of a sunset going all the way around it . We picked a spot under a huge old oak tree , and both Rob and I dug the hole . At first the roots were protesting a bit , and we didn 't want to harm them , so I went over and pulled back a flap of the turf , and when I tucked the little sunset container ( now empty ) into the hole , it sort of popped in under the turf like it was perfectly happy to be there . Something about that felt so right . We said our prayers and started walking back to the car . We were nurtured by sweet Earth 's profusion of happy flowers along the trail back to our car . My husband went to the edge of the forest and picked a handful of gloriously sweet , sunshine warm blackberries and we had a little feast of them . Somehow that seemed so right as well . Then we were off to our second destination for the other container of ashes to scatter . This container was made of ceramic pottery , with pictures of little black cats walking among abstract blues and greens . I had chosen it because Jess had had to send her beloved cat Jack across the Rainbow Bridge just after she returned home - - he had cancer and it couldn 't be cured . So I knew that Jack would be the first to meet her on her new journey , hence the little container . This journey today wasn 't about " dumping ashes , " it was about acknowledging places Jess loved while she was here . So for the second acknowledgment we went to a way up high place - - the Campbell Trail at Rothrock State Forest . Rob and I had gone there one New Year 's Eve - - the first one after all our kids left home , to welcome the new chapter of our lives . All of our kids know this place , they 've all been there at one time or another . It 's a beautiful view . When I first got out of the car I noticed someone had been celebrating something - - there was all kinds of glittery stuff mixed in with the gravel of the parking lot . All those sparkles felt like a good sign . You can 't really see it from my photo , but they were sooo sparkling in the sunshine . I chose this side to scatter the rest of my sweet daughter 's ashes . They flew on the wind and landed across puffy ferns and sparkling white rocks . And then my little container was empty . On the way back I was contemplating what the heck I would do with the little ceramic container and I decided to commemorate this milestone day by collecting some of Nature 's bounty to put inside it , partly because Jess and I always used to bring home a rock or some bark or a stick or something when we hiked - - both of us did this throughout our lives , and I didn 't know she did this until I took care of her home , and discovered her containers of rocks and things . I brought some home and put them with my own , and they 're lovely to have around . So on this day , I collected 9 acorns , some twisty bark , a couple of shiny limestone rocks and a few weathered sticks , and that 's what I put into the little ceramic container . Somehow cotton puffs for the bathroom just didn 't seem right . . . . These ceremonies today had little to do with Jess herself , and much to do with a milestone event in the moving on of our lives . She 's whole and huge and empowered and I feel her peace and joy underlying everything . It resides inside me , and all around me . I 've been captivated by ART since I was about 9 years old . Because my family lived overseas for the first ten years of my life and because we moved about every two years ( Holland , Malaysia , Japan , Italy , England ) I learned at an early age to keep myself occupied . The best ways to do this were to read , write , or draw . While we were overseas I was lucky enough to be able to visit some of the finest museums in the world , and they felt like home to me with all the beautiful creations from the master spirits of this planet . These excursions left me hungry for more , so as I grew older , I continued to visit museums wherever I found myself ( New York , California , Colorado , Arizona , Alaska , Chicago , Pennsylvania , etc . ) .
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Posted on January 7 , 2014 by ktonthemove I would like to think that I 'm not the only one who stares at the utter confusion of my future . Let 's try and put this a bit more simply … . I mean , not really knowing what we want to be or do when we grow up … . Please tell me I 'm not the only one … ? I 'm sure there are many other ' things ' that we still wonder about as to what really is going to happen when we grow up … but seriously , when and how do we know that one career is exactly what we want to do for the rest of our lives ? And why exactly are we forced to make a decision right after high school ! ? ( Or even before now - a - days ) In thinking back to when I was younger to now . . I 'm pretty sure I wanted to be a professional gymnast , a professional ice skater , a scientist , a teacher , and a lawyer . My how things change . I went to school completely undecided . I ended up making my way to something that was very comfortable and graduating with a degree in Tourism , Leisure , & Event planning . Many say this is my calling . Many say this is what I 'm great at . And many have no idea that I really am not sure this is what I truly love to do . Just because we are good at something , doesn 't necessarily mean that it 's what we want to do … forever . And just what is forever ? Who said we have to be stuck with the same job our entire lives ? Okay , maybe we end up getting stuck with a job because it has great benefits , retirement , and all that good stuff ? But really , being stuck with a job that we do not like … who wants that ? To those that do not know or are confused what your calling is … believe me you are not alone . I too have little to no idea what exactly I want to do when I ' grow up ' . ( And yes , I 'm 25 years old . ) Many of you may call this young , and you 're probably exactly right , but I have graduated from college , gotten my degree , and should be off on my way … . . but I 'm not . I 'm still pondering what exactly it is that I 'm good at , that I love , that is rewarding , and that will be my best fit . If you are like me … please take some time , think , and try some of these helpful hints I found on about . com : 1 . Make a list of 5 - 10 jobs that you 've thought about . If you need more ideas , here 's a long list of different job opportunities . 2 . Now organize the list , putting your favorites at the top . For your top three choices , list the positives and negatives . For example , if " veterinarian " is at the top of your list , a positive reason for choosing this field is that you love working with animals . On the negative side , it takes eight years of college to become a vet , and it 's not easy to get into vet school . Listing positives and negatives will help you start figuring out what 's important to you . For example , starting your own business is a big commitment . Is it more important to you to be your own boss , or would you rather have more time for your family ? 3 . Now that you 've got your list , take some career tests . Compare the results to the list you made . If you find a match , it 's a good place to start digging deeper . Don 't worry if you get a result you don 't like at all . The tests aren 't perfect , and you can just cross off the jobs that have zero appeal to you . If the job doesn 't require a college degree , does it require specialty training ? Are there programs in your area or would you have to move somewhere else ? If you joined the military , could you get the specialized training you 'd need for the job ? However , as we know things change . We find ourselves in situations we didn 't expect to be in . We find our brains and minds change . We find our wants and desires change . In general , people change and so does the job market over time . To those of you , like myself , that still aren 't sure what you want to be when you grow up , it 's okay … . . According to the article I found … . " There 's a famous Chinese saying : " The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step . " If you follow all these recommendations , you still might not have found the answer to the question of what you want to be when you grow up , but you will have started the journey . And if someone asks you what you want to be , you can answer the question truthfully : " I 'm exploring my options . " With that being said , time flies . I wish I could say that famous saying " Time flies when your having fun " , but we all know life isn 't all fun and games . However , that doesn 't stop time … . Time keeps going , no matter how much we love or hate life . In reflecting upon my last year , I realized that throughout a year , we all have our own stories to tell . We all go through many , many emotions . Most of us have some good and some bad . I 'm betting rarely anyone had a complete good year … or a complete bad year . ( If you did , please do tell how you managed that one ! ) We all have something to be thankful for … So , this year I learned a tremendous amount . I learned : * " Life is hard … Get a helmet " * " Life goes on … no matter what " * " You live & you learn " * " Live every moment " * " You can always start a new beginning " * & " Always be honest … no matter how hard it may be . . " With all this being said we all are lucky to still be here . We all are still here for a reason . And we all can have goals , aspirations , and motivations to better ourselves for a new year ! Some things are easier said than done , but anything is worth a try right ! ? So here is SOME of what I would like to try for 2014 . . ( or New Years Resolutions as some call it ) Of course , I may not be able to do all of these , but that is what other years are for … 1 . I would like to learn to drive stick2 . I would like to go to a shooting range and learn to shoot3 . I would like to learn / go snowboarding4 . I would like to go zip lining5 . I would like to go bungee jumping ( really quite scared to do this one ) 6 . I would like to go to a concert ( Yes , believe it or not , I 've never been to one ! ) 7 . I would like to go to a state that I 've never been too ( Arizona , Texas , Maine ? ) 8 . I would like to learn how to croshay9 . I would like to take line dancing classes or attend a square dance10 . I would like to try Grates wings ( A well known local joint in Fremont , my home town11 . Eat healthier12 . Get more oganized13 . & my favorite … Laugh more & Cry Less … . Be on the look out for my weekly blogs again … ( another one of my New Years resolutions ) . . : ) This time , it 's not all about me , I will be adding in photos , recipes , quotes , reviews , and much more up to date discussions ! Feel free to comment on something you would like me to write about this year ! Truth is , I 've been working , traveling , and across the world in Australia . But , I think it 's important that I be honest … I 've wanted to write in my blog . I wanted to share my opinions . And I wanted to post . But , I simply couldn 't . I seemed to hit a hard spot in life . I thought things were shaping up . I thought I was getting my life together . It all seemed like things were on the right track . I got my job back , I received another job , I had a boyfriend that seemed to have his ' stuff ' together , I got a new apartment , I was looking into going back to school , and I was using my past experiences as motivation because I thought I was moving forward . Truth is , I wasn 't . I was stuck . I wasn 't happy . I thought staying busy , dating someone with his ' shit ' together , and forgetting about all the hurt I went through would make me happy again . I was wrong . I fell deeper and deeper … . until opportunity arose again … . . The chance to go back to Australia … . Although , I debated , and debated about going back to Australia , I decided , it 's what was best for me . It 's what I needed to do . I knew from previous experience , the amount of time , energy , and work it takes in Australia to make sure that the business is running . Many of you that know me that are reading this may know what I do over there where as others may not . So I will explain as everyone asks , so what is it that you do over there ? I go to Australia to help run a Haunted House . My dad has owned and operated a haunted house for 24 years now . He was hired out to train their actors , build and manage in Australia . I went last year willing and able to do anything just so I could get to another country and experience the work life . I must have impressed them a bit to where they wanted me back . I came back this year to partake a bigger role and assist them with management . Believe me , working a haunted house at the biggest festival in Australia with over almost 1 million visitors is no easy task . We worked 14 - 16 hours a day for 3 weeks straight in the 80 - 100 degree Fahrenheit heat . And if we were lucky , we would get 2 30 minute breaks . We built , ran , and tore down a haunted house . It was my job to make sure things ran smoothly . You can only imagine it was my job to be wonder woman . But to me , this is all great learning lessons but more than anything , amazing life experiences . And as much as I hesitated to go , I 'm SO glad I went . I thought I had my life coming together before I left . But , I didn 't . I wasn 't happy , I was lost , I had no sense of direction … When I went to Australia , I had no connection with the United States . We had no internet connection and little time to experience Australia . Of course it was tough not being able to talk to my family or friends but in a way it was kind of nice in a way because sometimes we depend on friends and family too much and need to do things on our own . Be a bit independent . We didn 't get to enjoy Australia as we just worked , ate and slept . But , what I did experience , was me . Was who I am . Who I want to be . Where I want to be … . I met an amazing friend and now boyfriend in Australia . I 'm sure your thinking , I 'm pretty crazy . Let 's get this straight , he 's not an Aussie . He 's an American from Chicago , Illinois . He came on the trip to work as well and met us in Sydney , Australia . He too is in the haunt business and has been since a little kid . ( How ironic right ? ) However , he is my age , and shared the same outlook on life . We connected from the first time we met . He 's outgoing , a hard worker , and a bit spontaneous , and a handy man ; ) Although , I was a bit mean when I first spoke to him … ( If you ever meet him , you will have to ask him about our ' first ' encounter ) But , what I will say , is that this man was my rock . He kept me sane , motivated , and most of all alive through all the work in Australia . When you work 16 hours a day for 3 1 / 2 weeks straight , we all go through our share of emotions . We both shared our mad , sad , frustrated , happy , goofy , and every emotional state possible with each other . But , we were always there for one another … we helped each other out . Although we worked at a haunted house , we were able to keep each other from really going crazy ! And that right there is AMAZING ! For a man to keep any woman from going crazy is definitely a keeper … . And since I 'm being honest , I want to admit , I always swore I had a type for men … . but let 's be real , it clearly wasn 't working . They were everything I wanted but didn 't need . They didn 't treat me right , make me happy , or help me as a person see what I need to do . However , I don 't know if we should strive so much on a specific ' type ' that we date . We need to focus more on the connection , the person , and how they treat us . I swore I would never date another ' haunter ' / ' actor ' or even participate in this business …… but look at me now . I was searching so much for what I wanted , I lost track in what I really needed . So , here it is … . since going to Australia , I have realized , life is way to short to work all the time , not experience life , and most of all not take chances . In life , we need to be happy . And for once , I came home , and realized I 'm ready to do whatever it is to be happy . Take chances . Take risks . And be a bit spontaneous . Travel , explore the world as much as possible . Meet new people , share new experiences , and most of all LIVE LIFE . We think too much about what we want and forget too much about what we need … I 'm ready to finally be … just … me : ) Posted on January 28 , 2013 by ktonthemove Here is a letter that I have recently written to some of my close friends and family regarding my future . After reading this letter , I 'm sure you can see I 'm very unsure of my future . I wanted some of my fellow readers and bloggers to see that it 's okay to seek advice . More importantly , we should compile our thoughts onto paper / the computer . It 's good to look at the pro 's and con ' and get others opinions and thoughts . However , as we know , it comes down to our decision and what suits us best … . but never be afraid to seek advice . And , if any of my fellow readers , want to put in their input regarding my situations , please do . I value all opinions ! As we know , I suck at making decisions . I 'm really trying to get better at them by weighing out the pros and cons . But , in all honesty … weighing out the pro 's and con 's really makes things even tougher for me . I 'm asking for some advice . Advice from friends and family as to where exactly I 'm too go in my life . I don 't necessarily want you to TELL me what to do , I understand that in all reality , it 's up to me to decide . However , I want to hear your thoughts and inputs or what you would do in my situation . I love to help people . I love to travel . I love warm weather and the sun . I love kids . And I love education . But more than anything , I truly do hope , in the near future , I have some stability in my life . I want a steady job . I want a steady income . And I really want a place to call home for a while . As you can see , I have a lot of idea 's and opportunities . But , I have a lot of decisions that need to be made and be made soon . I would love any input you have . You all are receiving this letter because I truly look up to you and value your opinion . Posted on January 13 , 2013 by ktonthemove It 's true , I 'm starting to feel old . I know , I know , I 'm not that old . I get it . However , I 'm realizing that I 'm past a certain stage of my life … . We all go through many phases of life . Whether it 's the young , immature , college , party animal , study freak , or just plain bum , we all go through some kind of phase . And at some point , we all hit … . . realization . ( I don 't necessarily want to say , the next phase of our life , or to be grown up ) But , we all hit a point where we realize , we aren 't who we used to be . For me , I realized that I hit another phase of my life when I surround myself with college kids and feel so old compared to them . Once again , I know I 'm not old but I feel as though I 'm passed that stage . I no longer want to get hammered at home before I go out , act a fool , get hammered some more at the bar , and then come home puke , and do it all over the next day . First , my body just simply can 't handle that anymore . My hangovers are two days hangovers . And second , I would rather enjoy my alcohol than waste it ; ) I also realized it when I found myself thinking about the future more . Don 't get me wrong , I 've always thought about the future but more so about finances , taxes , education , careers , relationships , and locations . You know , that ' grown up ' stuff . But not only was I thinking about it , I have begun to start to do it . I have decided that my current degree , ' Tourism , Leisure , & Event Planning ' , just isn 't for me . I have had little to no motivation to find a job . Although , I may be very skilled in this field , I do not have the passion for this job . I have thought a lot about what I have passion for regarding a future career . I love to help people , I love kids , and I love education . After hearing myself say this , I knew that I have a desire to teach . So , I 'm heading back to grad school in the fall to get my Master 's as an intervention specialist . Of course it 's a shocker when we begin a life change in careers . Of course , it 's a shocker when we can 't party like we used too . And of course , it 's a shocker when we begin to think about furthering relationships . But , this is all part of life . We get old , we mature , and we begin to understand the meaning of life . However , I will say , just because we begin a new phase doesn 't mean we still can 't go back the older one … . it 's usually just a different style . For instance , I can still party with the best of them … . just cannot do it as often as I used too … . Although , I 'm 24 years old and feel old , it 's only because I 'm at a new stage of my life . I 'm ready to start what I really want to do . I 'm ready to incorporate stability into my lifestyle . And most importantly , realize , I 'm not old , I 'm just beginning to recognize , understand , and make a life … . Posted on January 11 , 2013 by ktonthemove A wise man told me that he always remembers and always follows the story of ' The Tortoise & The Hare ' . Or more of us may remember or know of it as ' The Turtle and The Rabbit ' . If your still unsure of this story , let me explain the moral of the story , ' Slow & Steady Wins the Race ' . After hearing him keep comparing this story to real life , I really started to compare it to my own . It 's quite interesting how true this logic really is . Almost like the saying ' good things come to those who wait … ' . Of course though , we all hate going slow , waiting , and be patient . Lately , I 've decided and have been learning to really try and be more patient . And not just with the big things , but with the small things as well . I 've been trying to better understand that sometimes , I 'm not the only one that is in a rush . Sometimes , I 'm not the only thing that matters . And sometimes , we must learn to simply wait , people , places , and things , have their reasons as to why exactly things are not going how they are supposed to be . But , honestly , I have learned things usually end up better or exactly how they are supposed to just by being patient . Since , I have been trying to understand that it is good to be patient , it hasn 't been easy . I 've had some tough moments where I didn 't understand why I didn 't get the job , why I didn 't get the apartment , and why I didn 't get back into school when I wanted too … but because I didn 't get those things when I wanted too , better things have come my way . And , I also got to enjoy life a little bit more … . But , my main reason for patience , why rush life ? We graduate from high school and college , and are expected to just rush life … . We must enjoy the precious time we are given . And I know sometimes patience sucks , especially when we are in hurry and running late . I waited patiently to get a job and I finally did . I waited patiently to get an apartment and I did . And I waited patiently to go back to school , and I 'm finally going too . So , remember … . MOST of the time … The turtle wins … Posted on January 6 , 2013 by ktonthemove So it 's been one year for my blog . My , has time gone by . Looking back at my New Year 's Resolution last year , I wanted to try and write a blog every day . I started out pretty well … However , with the life I live , it 's nearly impossible to find time every day to write a complete blog . Although , I will say , I had some pretty damn good ones and points that were well stated . With that being said , I 'm continuing my blog into this year . I enjoy writing and more importantly , I have a feeling that 2013 will be a year with a lot of new dreams , new opportunities , and many exciting events and of course . . lots of opinions . Speaking of opinion , I decided to start off my first blog post of 2013 with the nature of ' job status ' . I 'm at the age where many of my friends from high school and college are starting to get ' real jobs ' , married , have babies . It is truly great ! I couldn 't be happier for some of my friends . However , here is my problem . Many people believe that you have to ' grow up ' as soon as you graduate or get to a certain age . I agree to a degree that at some point or another , we must grow up . However , I want to admit , I 'm just not there yet … . but people shouldn 't hold that against me . Many people do not understand why I 'm still bartending and serving . Well , here is the truth . I like it . I enjoy it . It makes me happy . And the biggest part , it currently fits the lifestyle that I want to live . Call me selfish , but I 'm just not ready to settle down . I love to travel when I want too and wherever I want too . While being a bartender and server , the schedule allows me to do so . It 's something that is fun and fast pace but still allows me some time to enjoy myself . More importantly , I make a living off of it . I 'm not hurting by any means still bartending and serving . But , recently , I have noticed throughout the media and speaking with others including some of my own friends , that people put a ' bad emphasis ' on someone that is still bartending and serving at an older age . I 'm sure as a person with a ' real job ' looking in , you think to yourself , " Wow , she 's still a bartender and serving " … . Your right , I am as too many , many others are . What many of you may not realize is each bartender and server has their own story as to why we do it . Many of you that judge a bartender and server really have no idea , how powerful , smart , and amazing we really are . Let 's face it , most of us have some kind of education or college degree . Just because we bartend or serve does not mean that we are not smart . We just haven 't truly found the right job and what makes us happy . I mean , some of us may do it because it truly is amazing money , some of us may do it because we simply cannot find a job , some of us may do it because it 's paying the bills and putting us through school , some of us may do it because WE ENJOY IT ! So , I will admit , I am 24 years old , a Bowling Green State University Graduate , and I am still Bartending and Serving all over the United States . I enjoy what I do and truly believe , that we shouldn 't judge anybody on what their ' job status ' is . We all have a story and reasoning behind what we do . I meet people from all over the world doing what I do . I get to talk to people that I may never see again in my lifetime . Most importantly , right now , I enjoy what I do . Posted on December 25 , 2012 by ktonthemove There was once was a girl who truly enjoyed Christmas . She loved spending time with her family , watching the fire in the fireplace , and leaving carrots and celery for Santa . ( As she didn 't want him to get ' bigger ' than he already was so he could make it down the chimney to all the houses . ) And , of course , she enjoyed all the wonderful presents she would get . Then , one year , her parents went through some financial difficulty . They were unable to get her the things that she wanted . However , her parents still tried to make it special … . in which they did . But , many of her friends did not really understand or support the Christmas that she had , had . They were all bragging as to what they got … and just couldn 't understand why she really hadn 't received much . Although she hadn 't received much , she really was able to realize that Christmas isn 't about gifts . It 's about spending time with family , friends , and most of all celebrating Jesus ' Birthday . ( And of course , hopefully getting some good food ) . To her , that was one of the most amazing Christmas ' that she has ever had . She learned the true meaning of Christmas and most of all made a holiday special with little to nothing . As the years went on , she had her fair share of good and bad Christmas ' . However , as the years passed , she realized that so many people truly do not understand the ' true ' meaning of Christmas . They expect presents . They expect happy families . They expect the best of the best . And they like to brag . One thing that she truly couldn 't stand … . She felt Christmas was becoming more commercialized . More about presents . More about bragging . And more about who gets what , how much each spends , and less about what is really important . That 's when her feelings started to change . Even though she had , had a few tough Christmas Holidays , she still enjoyed Christmas . But , she couldn 't help it anymore , she didn 't want to support the commercialized Christmas Holiday anymore . She became a scrooge . She was full of ' Ba Hum Bugs ' . Her parents began hearing her say , ' I hate Christmas ' . … Finally , after a few years , they had , had enough . They told her that , although we have had some tough Christmas ' , we have had a lot of very good ones . ( Which was all very true … ) But , then she mentioned about everyone else … . and the season being so commercialized . Her parents told her that , she should really remember what Christmas is all about . More than anything , they wanted her to know how much it hurt her parents and others around her about being a Scrooge . It 's no fun when ' Ba Hum Bug ' takes place in a household , let alone anywhere ! They were exactly right … . She realized she needed to stop worrying about everyone else . She needed to enjoy the holidays with her friends and family . Most of all , surround herself with people who really do understand the true meaning of Christmas . So , this year , I decided to push away the ' Commercialized ' Christmas and surround myself with the true meaning of Christmas . I started by helping my parents put up the Christmas decorations … . played Christmas music … and started to get into the Christmas spirit . But , Christmas is so much more to me that just some decorations . I like to help people . I decided this year , I really wanted to help my Aunt , as she has ' Multiple Scorosis ' and is unable to do what she truly wants and loves . Christmas is her favorite holiday . She loves to give presents , to make the presents special , to have meaning to everything , to wrap pretty , and most of all to see the smiles on people 's faces as they walk into her beautifully decorated house . I spent many days decorating her entire house , ordering presents for the family , and wrapping them all up . To me , this gave me a reason for Christmas . This was better than buying a present … it was giving a present that had no monetary value … . It was a present full of love … . So instead of being a ' Grinch ' for the holiday season , I have transformed into understanding and wanting to give ' Joy To The World ' . It is my goal , every Christmas from now on , to do something good for someone with little to no ' monetary value ' . And as much as Christmas has become commercialized and so many people do not understand the true meaning of Christmas , I for one , will no longer be considered the Grinch … I used to be the girl that was ALWAYS in a relationship . And by that I mean , I always had a steady boyfriend . I was in two long relationships . Then , I don 't know what happened … . . I became single . And single for quite a long time … . Don 't get me wrong … . . I enjoyed it and hated it all at the same time . While being single , you go through a mixture of emotions . You love to be able to go out and have a good time , talk to whomever you want too , and most of all do whatever you want too . However , you also watch , see , and feel others relationships and feel a sense of ' loneliness ' . So , of course you go through your stage in trying to attract men . ( Maybe females in your case ) You dress up , you keep you eye out , and you talk to new people in hopes of some kind of attraction . You don 't just want to meet a man at a bar . By this time , I learned most of them are no good . My mom always suggested that I join a class or volunteer to meet a man . But , truth is , it 's just really hard to meet a man outside of our hectic schedules anymore . SIDENOTE : I always thought I was going to meet the ' man of my dreams ' on an airplane . I travel a lot and always strike up amazing conversations with men that get stuck sitting next to me . After telling my mom and my best friend this , whenever I traveled with them , a man always ended up sitting next to me . To their surprise , they usually were quite decent looking , especially this oneJ But , due to work and hectic lives , we were usually never able to really work something out . . . But for me , it wasn 't just hectic schedules with being single anymore , the word … . ' Intimidating ' kept coming up . Every time I would finally get a chance to talk with a man , they would tell me that I 'm very ' intimidating ' . Need I tell you , I 'm 5 ' 2 on a good day , so there really isn 't much too me . However , that was another main reason that many men would not approach me right away . I have come to the conclusion ; I do not like that word . Just because I work hard , I play hard , and I have a brain does not make me very different from most girls . Yes , I am independent . Yes , I have a college degree . Yes , I take care of myself . ( Try too anyways ) But , A LOT of women do … . and we really have to these days in order to live . I took a chance with a man at a bar . Yes , I know , RULE # 1 - Never talk ' seriousness ' with a man at a bar . But , I also was the one to ask for the date AND the phone number . UH … . who am I ? Well , I was a girl that saw a man … . and knew I really wanted to get to know him … and at this point . . what did I have to lose ! ? After our wonderful , well planned , date that completely ' wow 'd ' me … we took a few more … . where we realized , we couldn 't stop talking to one another and most of all really enjoyed each other 's company … We decided , since we both had time off to take a trip . During our trip , we really learned a lot about each other . I finally realized … . . I really don 't want to be single anymore … 2 . It is okay to be picky … . although we may never find ' Mr . Perfect ' because there is no such thing as perfect but we can definitely take time to pick and choose regarding what we want and don 't want . We have that luxury these days , use it ! 3 . After a break - up / ending of a ' relationship / ect … . Do NOT jump right into another one . Take time for yourself … . believe it or not , you need time to heal … . Posted on November 17 , 2012 by ktonthemove Recently , I have learned a lot about advice . I realize that it depends on who is giving the advice , what the advice actually is , and if your willing and able to accept it . However , when it comes to relationships , I think we should be a little more open to advice , especially from best friends and close family . I used to think that it really doesn 't matter what others think about your relationship . All that matters is that you two are happy . But , I think we really should consider what our best friends and close family think . I 'm not saying , we should completely base a relationship on what others think . I guess what I 'm trying to say is , our best friends and close family know us the best . They can see what we can 't see . They see our emotions , feelings , and each other from an outsider position . They can see if we are truly happy with one another . They have an opinion on our future . And most of all , they truly want what is best for us . I like to think I have had some very close family , and some very dear friends throughout my years . I 've always had this weird ability to see through people . I read people very well . But , I will be the first to admit , I 'm not always right . I too make mistakes . Although when my friends and family ask for my advice regarding their relationships , I 'm quite brutally honest . Here is what I have learned recently . Sometimes , we may not like the advice we are given from best friends and close family regarding relationships … . but they are truly the ones that know us the best . They only want what is best for us . However , when many people tell you that a certain person is not right for you , you should move on , you can do better , and that in the long run , it 's just not right … . sometimes we need to take that into consideration . And by consideration , I mean very , very careful thought . I know that there are certain situations where the love is stronger than what everyone else thinks . And sometimes family does not support certain relationships for other factors . However , I have said many times to certain people not to be with someone for very good reasons . Yet , they still get back in a relationship with them , they still marry them , and they still do what they want to do . I just can 't tell you how disappointed I am in certain people who currently end up miserable for not listening to MANY people 's advice . ( Not , just mine ) Sadly , deep down , they know better too . It 's just what is and has been normal for them . Or they get trapped . Just very sad to me in my book … . What I will say is this … . Relationships are definitely between two people . You can overcome many things with ' love ' . But , before you commit yourselves into a very deeper relationships , I suggest hearing out best friends and close family . It 's much easier to continue and have a relationship with support … . rather than a relationship with nothing but you two .
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Childhood for us was an absolute blast . We often laugh about being rather sheltered growing up and how we were the Queens of innocence . Our parents encouraged our imagination and all we needed was our Superman capes and a back garden to be happy . Naturally , we grew up with our crushes and showing a little interest in boys , but in all honestly , we were much more interested in who out of the four of us got to play with Thunderbird 2 . That 's just how we rolled . Having recently watched one of our die hard favourite movies from when we were younger , we thought we would share with you our childhood movie must watches , that made a huge impact on our lives . : ) This would be the movie that we recently just watched and let me tell you , we could recite it word for word . It was seriously just as awesome watching it at 28 years old , as it was at 10 . As for when we were kids , I feel obsessed would be an understatement when it comes to this one . You couldn 't stop us talking about Rocky , Colt and Tum Tum and you know for sure we were jumping off couches , sneaking around the house and pretending we were ninjas . Do you remember the scene where the boys are hanging out in their bedroom and the red buzzer goes off informing them their Mum is coming ? Yes ? so they all rush to switch the lights off and get in to bed ? Still with me ? Then Colt jumps from the mini trampoline onto the top bunk ? Got it ? Well our most favourite thing to do was imitate this by jumping from my single bed onto Kelly 's top bunk . . . therefore we were ninja 's . . . and so very cool ! : p Everything about this movie is pure awesomeness . The kids were kids , it dealt with bully 's , getting upset with your parents , spending time with your Grandparents and learning how to look after yourself . Granted I 'm not condoning kids trying to beat up kidnappers and such , well actually if you can ' MERTILIZE ' em ' it would probably be a good thing knowing how to keep yourself safe . It just had it all . Oh and of course the line ' Rocky loves Emily . ' has never left us and to this day , for whatever reason and whenever is feels right we will happily sing it to each other or ourselves . Oh , last thing , we also had huge crushes on Colt ! ! ! Didn 't everyone ? ? ? What to say , what to say ? ? The Power Rangers ROCKED ! ! I was the yellow ranger , Lucy was the pink ranger and our brother started off as Jason the red ranger until Tommy , the green ranger , came along and was just that bit cooler . Our little sister was a bit too young to join in and fully understand our love for the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers at this point , but she did on occasion sit and watch it with us . We were fanatical . When this movie came out , we were actually in New York and begged our parents to take us to see it . We were beyond excited ! Similar to The 3 Ninja 's , the rangers had us play fighting , running around our back garden , wishing we could back flip and fight off bad guys . It was just fun , you had your classic good guys and your dastardly bad guys , as well as creepy and silly characters ! It 's changed a lot over the years but we still say our Mighty Morphin Power Rangers , circa 1995 , were the best ! : ) Sabrina The Teenage Witch . I 'm going to go out on a limb here and say that " Sabrina the Teenage Witch " was probably our absolute favourite show growing up . It 's hard to fully commit to that statement because pinterest will show me clips of shows I 'd forgotten about and I will be like " Oh my goodness , that was our favourite ever . . . " you know how it goes ! In saying that though , Sabrina really was the best ! To me , the movie has a completely different feel to the actual show and every time I watch it , the outfits , the makeup and the whole look of it just takes me back to a very specific time . The movie had an almost spooky sense to it that I can 't quite fully explain but it was just so strange and wonderful . If you know what I mean please leave a comment so I don 't seem crazy ! : p Our love of Sabrina didn 't just involve watching the movie and shows though . . . come on now , this is us we are talking about ! We dreamed that our hoover ( vacuum ) could magically fly . When we moved house the drawings we did of our new bedrooms included portals to the other realm hidden behind closets , naturally . We can 't say Friday without thinking of Fridga , thank you Salem . And any time someone says fire , " Muhfire " ( spelt how you say it ) immediately pops into our heads , again thank you Salem . We loved Melissa Joan Hart and still do , it makes us so happy seeing her successful with new ventures , as well as TV shows like Melissa and Joey . She is awesome , definitely someone who brings back lots of wonderful memories ! Of course we have Mary Kate and Ashley movies in this list ! We watched absolutely everything they did . Every straight to TV movie , every TV show , we loved them all . However , three of our favourites , and the ones we watched the most , are the ones stated above . We would often watch these movies and decide who was who out of the both of us , like which roles we would play . We also liked to act out the scene where they bump into each other in the woods in ' It takes two . " We learnt the lines word for word and even imitated the accents they did in the movie ! Oh and a BIG thing from said movie is when Mary Kate 's character is asked to play the piano and gives a little speech . She say 's a line about her soon to be step mum whom she " Absolutely adores ! ! " Even at 28 , there are times when we can 't say the word ' Absolutely ' without saying it the same way she does ! Hands up if you do this too ! ! ! Mary Kate and Ashley were huge influences on us growing up and we still have tons of admiration for them both . We are also quite proud of the fact that we can always , no matter what , tell them apart . They don 't actually look that alike but it irks us when magazines get them wrong ! So that 's it for our list of must see childhood classics , there are probably tons more but these just stand out to us the most . We love that back then these kids movies were all about being kids , being silly , adventurous and being outside and using your imagination . They make us smile and feel happy and content with our childhood , we wouldn 't have had it any other way ! : ) I 've always admired bodybuilders , fitness models and athletes and for the past few months I feel it 's become my obsession to achieve my body goals . Now , you have to understand that I am all about loving your body , being happy in your own skin and that people are beautiful all different shapes and sizes . I encourage you to love yourself and do you ! : ) Recently though , I have felt very inspired to challenge and push myself like never before . For me , I love working out and I dream of being a leaner , stronger version of myself , so I 've thrown doubts and negative thoughts out the window and am determined at 28 years old to work on my focus , my mind , my will power and self control ! : ) Here I have a list of my top 5 inspirations who are keeping me motivated ! : ) Carly Rowena I absolutely adore Carly . She is one of my favourite people to watch on YouTube . Her bubbly , sweet personality always makes me smile . My favourite thing about Carly is the fact that she focuses on balance . She doesn 't tell you not to have treats or that you can never eat certain foods again , she 's all about eating well and healthy while sticking to great workouts . She is incredibly motivating and just lovely and I feel she has such a way of lifting others up and making every goal seem reachable . She has easy to follow recipes and exercise routines and just makes the whole gym life and healthy eating so much more fun . : ) Body Composition Coach ! This guy is honest , caring , kind and truly sees the best in everyone . He wants everyone to succeed and will be there every step of the way . He motivates me every single day through his words of wisdom and actions . Chris is constantly striving to learn and gain knowledge in the world of fitness and I couldn 't be more proud . His training tips and advice have helped me so much over the past few years and I love that he 's all about having fun , teaching people a happy balance and encouraging others to be the best them that they can be . : ) In addition , his posts and pictures always carry an element of humor in them , I simply love the way he writes , it definitely helps to keep you inspired . YouTube ! I came across Nikki a few weeks ago and I adore her . She comes across so incredibly down to earth and sweet that I love watching her videos and listening to her advice . She is so cute , fun and real when she speaks and it makes me feel like I can achieve anything . Also , I love that she often shows you the hard parts and the struggle when she 's working out . She doesn 't always breeze through gym sessions without looks of pain , acting like it 's the easiest thing in the world , and I feel like that is so encouraging to others . It has really helped motivate me to get past the burn and keep going . I think she 's wonderful and just awesome ! : ) I recently came across Ashley and I adore her positive , encouraging personality . Ashley is an extremely sweet , kind hearted and happy person and her video 's always make me smile and lift me up . I love the way she wants to empower others to do what makes them happy , live the life they want and be confident in their own skin . She truly kicks ass and she also happens to be Italian ! Yay ! :) He 's THE ROCK ! ! ! ! ! Really do I need to say anymore ? ! ! ! : p I love this man ! I love his personality , his heart , his work ethic , his focus , his smile , his attitude , just every single thing about him . I look at him and I immediately want to be a better person . I want to wake up each day and make a difference . He truly is an inspiration and a role model . Do you have people in the fitness world that you admire ? I hope you check out the people mentioned above and that they are able to inspire you to achieve whatever goals you have set for yourself too ! : ) Happy Monday ! With our Italian grandparents , Easter has always been a big deal for us . Like every other holiday , we spend it together around the table . Our Nanna will sprinkle us with holy water and say a blessing before we eat . Then after a delicious meal we will have a traditional Italian Colomba ( Dove ) cake , as well as homemade Pastiera , which we have made since we can remember . Nanna also used to make us crosses out of palm leaves from Church , she hasn 't done that for a while now , but we still have ours from a few years ago by our beds . Obviously the last few years have been slightly different with us being away , but we still stay true to our traditions . Here 's a little look at Easter 2016 ! : ) When we were little , we spent an Easter in Italy with our family . Everywhere we looked , we saw these amazing Easter Eggs . Although very different to our traditional British Easter Eggs , we love them just the same . We found this one at an awesome Italian market here in Clearwater and needless to say we were extremely excited and squealed with glee ! Italian chocolate is amazing ! Like we mentioned above , we still have the palms Nanna made us a few years back , they stay by our bedsides near our pictures of Padre Pio . This picture our Grandad gave us when we moved away and we treasure it . Our Grandparents are very religious and it always makes them happy to know we care about what they teach and share with us . It 's also a comfort to us to turn to this when we are missing them so much to know that they are thinking about us . Yay , Yay , Yay ! ! This is our second attempt at making traditional Pastiera Napoletana without our Grandad and little sister . Last year we weren 't as successful but this year it came out great ! We got the barley and flour from the same Italian market as our Easter egg and can definitely tell what a difference using authentic Italian ingredients makes ! The only thing missing is the half bottle of Sambuca that Nanna likes to put in hers ! : p We can 't express how much looking at this and eating it fills our hearts with happiness . Ok , so as we are working on a more healthy balanced lifestyle lately , we thought we would try and make a less guilty Easter treat . We had been scouring Pinterest and found these Avocado brownies and thought we would give them a go . Now , we 're not going to lie , it 's definitely a taste we are going to have to get used to . The avocado kind of gives it a slightly bitter aftertaste , however , they did turn out moist , soft and not all bad . We are looking forward to trying out more gluten free , paleo recipes and even some that are just slightly healthier in future . : ) If you like avocado and are looking for another desert option , we would definitely say try them out ! There you have it , some of the yummy things we will be eating this weekend , as well as a little insight into our family traditions . : ) Hope you all have a wonderful Easter and get to spend it with your loved ones ! Love Lucy and Kelly xx I believe I first discovered Rebecca Pugh last year , while I was having my usual morning Twitter catch up before work . I clicked on a link that took me to her blog and after reading a little about her , I saved the page so I could visit it again later that day . I instantly loved that Rebecca was both a Disney enthusiast as well as an avid bookworm and when I found out that her first book " Return to Bluebell hill " was going to be released soon , Makeup Monday : Tarte Rainforest Of The Sea ! When I saw all the Instagram pictures of Tarte Cosmetics new makeup line , I knew it was going to be something that I lusted after for a while and added to my wish list . The packaging completely suckered me in , all the blues , purples and golds , I thought yes please . I was also really interested in the concept of the products being water based and extremely hydrating and fresh . Lucky for me , I was gifted a bunch of Sephora gift cards for Christmas , thank you to my awesome family , so I eagerly awaited the release date so I could visit the store and purchase some goodies . In need of a new foundation and concealer , I knew those were the two products I wanted to pick up first . Then I noticed that they had a 500 point reward for Beauty Insiders , so in purchasing a little treat for Kelly , I went ahead and used some of my points that had been stacking up online . The foundation ! The packaging seriously is stunning , just look at it . I love the top how it blends from gold to purple . I 'm in two minds about this foundation though . I 've only tried it twice , so I know I 'm going to have to give it a fair chance and use it a bunch before I make a true conclusion , but as it stands right now , the positives are that it feels so lightweight on the skin , it doesn 't make me oily and it does look rather beautiful and natural . The negatives are that the little droplet only produces a small amount , so I feel like I 'm having to keep adding more product as I go a long . If you want really full coverage I feel you will be using a lot . I will say though that the lady gave me ' fair light neutral ' which I believe is too light for me , I know I should trust the experts , but I think this might be why I can 't make my mind up yet . I think I 'm going to exchange it for ' light neutral ' , as the little bit I tested ( see below ) seemed to match me much better . It is priced at $ 39 for 1fl oz . I LOVE this concealer . For me it has great coverage , barely creases and feels lovely and hydrating under my eyes . I was quite fond of the Urban Decay concealer until recently , finding that it creased a lot and was too light for me . I have this Tarte one in the shade ' light medium ' and it is perfect . I think it has to be my favourite concealer I have tried yet . This is priced at $ 26 for 0 . 34 fl oz . 500 point rewards . In this adorable reward box I got a mini ' Lights , camera , splashes ' mascara , mini cleansing gel , mini marine boosting mist , a lipstick in shade ' beach bum ' and a few shades of the foundation to try . I 've never chosen a 500 points reward before , so I was super excited to get the cute box with all the pretty samples inside . For 500 points , I do wish they were a little bigger but I was still very happy that I got to try some of the products out . I was ready for a new mascara and have heard so many great things about this one , so I really can 't wait to try it . The lipstick shade is stunning , it 's very much that dark mauve , kind of nude shade . I love the cleansing gel and have used it to wash my face the past two nights , it smells amazing and leaves my skin feeling super fresh and soft . The mist I feel I will have to try as a primer . I did try it over my foundation , but as I get a tad oily in my t zone , I felt it just made me look shiny . It does get points for smelling wonderful though , very lemony , which I love . I 'm so pleased that I got to try a few foundation shades , with living in Clearwater now , I think my skin is starting to tan and as I mentioned earlier the lady at Sephora put ' fair light neutral ' on me and said it was perfect but I was a little unsure . When trying ' light neutral ' I felt it matched my skin tone better and actually gave me coverage instead of just sitting on my face and making me look a little pale . Overall I have to say that this is a gorgeous collection . I 'm looking forward to trying the foundation more and hope to be able to try their ' Hydrating boost drink ' as if its anything like the cleanser I think I will love it ! : ) Have you tried anything from Rainforest of the sea ? What are you loving most ? So it 's been 2 weeks since we moved to sunny Clearwater , Florida . We are just a few minutes away from both St Pete and Clearwater beach , as well as even closer to a little causeway just off the highway . Whilst both job hunting and settling into our new apartments , we have had quite a few afternoons where we have just gotten in the car and drove to the beach . Monday Motivation : Working on myself ! Growing up I was always very shy and anxious when it came to trying new things , going to new places and doing something that I had never done before . I 'm naturally an over thinker and about 50 million thoughts would go through my head before doing any of those things mentioned above . It would be like a battle going on in my brain , all the positive things vs . all the negative things , how things could go awesome vs . how things could go terribly wrong . Looking back I 'm proud of myself with how far I got in wrestling , as though I had many of those thoughts daily , somehow I pushed through and achieved many a dream I had in my head . I feel the love that I had for what I was doing , no matter how nervous and scared I was , always managed to win , and for that I am grateful , but it 's not the destination and achievements that is most important , it 's the journey along the way . Recently having gone through a huge life change , ( leaving our lovely jobs in Louisville , spending two months in England to then return to the USA to move States , and completely turning our routine upside down ) and having to somewhat start a fresh , my brain is back to doing somersaults . Of course I 've always known that this is just who I am , but this past week I really found myself getting extremely down about it . One big reason this has come to light is because of job hunting , yes job hunting . It is absolutely terrible trying to find a job when all your brain wants to do is tell you the things you wouldn 't be any good at . Getting the confidence to ring up or walk in to a place is simply terrifying when you think your dressed wrong or don 't look the part . Even when it comes to working on this blog or my book , I have moments of utter " I suck at everything " and ladies and gentlemen at 28 years of age I realize it has to stop . Now when I set goals for myself , deep down in the back of my mind and in my heart , I absolutely know that I 'm going to achieve them , because I want to . I think the passion I have when I have a dreMeditation ! My husband introduced me to this . When I am having moments where my brain just wants to churn out a million obstacles , he will get me to pause , lay down , put some calming music on and breathe . At first I would lie there , thoughts swimming around like crazy , but over time I 've learnt to escape to a happy place while breathing . I 'm still working on it but feel a lot better for it . Surrounding yourself with positivity ! In my office I have a picture of Macho Man and a poster of Chuck , I like to look at them when I get writers block or start to get down on myself . They inspire me and simply put a smile on my face . I also love to read quotes and occasionally just allow myself to go on a Pinterest spree and search for them . It might sound silly but when you find a quote that resonates with you it can really motivate you and lift your spirits . I also like that by simply coming across a quote you like , you know someone out there has felt , or is feeling , the same and you don 't feel so alone . Put your positive pants on ! If I 'm having bad day , overthinking leaving the house or worried about meeting someone , I sometimes find it helpful to wear an item of clothing that I truly feel 100 % me in . If I 'm trying to dress a certain way because I 'm worried I don 't look 28 , I end up saying sack it and throwing caution to the wind and wearing my favourite Thor tshirt . Of course if it is a job interview and you have to wear something a little out of your comfort zone , try wearing a necklace , a bracelet , earrings or even a watch that you love , that comforts you and gives you a little confidence boost ! But . . . BUT NOTHING ! ! ! This is a big one and one that my husband try 's his best to help me with from day to day . The minute the words " But . . " or " What if . . . " leave my mouth , he says " Stop . " Most of the time I will try to go on . . . " I 'm just saying . . . " and again he will say " No , stop . " The ' buts ' and ' what if 's ' usually come with a negative and I am working my hardest to get rid of them , to not even let those thoughts see the light of day , because you know what ? They don 't help anything , nothing good comes from them . I know there is always going to be the odd down day , the odd moment of doubt , but I am working my absolute hardest to not let the doubt ruin the beauty of trying something new and being the person I want to be . I hope this post helps if you , like me , struggle with being confident minded sometimes . If you have ways that help you in this situation , I would absolutely love to hear how you cope and deal with it ! : ) Where were you in 62 ? We 're always going to have those movies that become instant classics . Movies that are passed down through generations , movies that if you are one of the rare people that haven 't seen them , will get funny looks from the people who have . Movies like , Breakfast at Tiffany 's , Dirty Dancing , The Godfather , The Breakfast Club and Grease are some that come to mind . Even if you haven 't seen some of those , you have most likely heard of them . One particular cult classic that is one of my favourites , is George Lucas 's second film , American Graffiti . Made in 1972 , the film is actually set in 1962 , in Modesto California and follows the lives of a group of kids as they spend their last night together , after recently graduating High school , picking up girls , hanging out outside " Mel 's Diner , " cruising around town till the early hours of the morning and figuring out what they want to do with their futures . It 's teenage life in the 60 's and is amazing to see what kids did back then . My Dad even admitted to pulling pranks similar to the ones John Milner ( Paul Le Mat ) and Carol Morrison ( Mackenzie Phillips ) pulled while stopped at a set of traffic lights . In this scene they are hit with water balloons that are thrown through the window of Milner 's Deuce Coupe by a bunch of kids in a Cadillac , immediately John and Carol jump out of the Deuce Coupe and proceed to let the air out of the Cadillac 's tires and spray shaving cream all over it ! ! ! You did what Dad ? ? ! : ) The movie was received with critical acclaim and is a definite must see . It is a coming of age movie for teens , and a Car Enthusiasts dream . It has influenced many people to recreate or buy their own Cars from the movie . There 's the bright yellow 32 Deuce Coupe , the white 58 Impala , the 56 T - Bird and my favourite The 55 Chevy . . . like father like daughter . . . Back in 1977 , Dad bought a 1963 Humber because it looked like the 1955 black Chevy , driven by Harrison Ford in the movie . The Chevy was way too expensive for a 21 year old at the time , so he bought the Humber and used it as a daily drive , until he had a company car to drive around in . In the late 70 's / Early 80 's Dad was a member of the Rainy City Cruisers , a custom / classic car club that would cruise around Manchester every Friday night . This was the first car Dad restored himself , changing it to add well , more power and to also look and sound more like the 55 Chevy that he loved . He took out the old straight 6 engine and fitted it with a 327 Chevy V8 engine . He also added a turbo 400 gearbox and a Jaguar back axle . Pretty neat huh ? A photo from a Car Show last year . Dad even added a Hood Scoop to make it more like the one in American Graffiti . We just recently watched the movie with him again and enjoyed hearing Dad 's stories and also singing along to the famous soundtrack . We probably knew the American Graffiti soundtrack before we even bought our first album ! It has influenced our taste in music as well as helped us appreciate Dad 's love of cars as well as his home decorating style . . . About a year and half to two years ago I was watching one of Jaclyn Hill 's videos when she talked about a body cream from philosophy . com by the name of ' Fresh Cream ' , I was on the hunt for a moisturizing body lotion that I would like the smell of and that would really do it 's job in making my skin feel soft and smooth and 100 % moisturized , so I thought I would run a long to Sephora and check out what all the fuss was about . After simply picking up the tester from the shelf , opening the lid and smelling it , I was hooked . My goodness , did it smell amazing . I could not wait to go home and lather myself in it . I want to say it has been about a year and a half now and I have gone through 3 bottles of this stuff . It is divine . Every single time I put it on it always surprises me and makes me obsess over it all over again . Literally , every day , I 'm like " Oh my goodness , I just want to eat it , how good does this smell ? " : p It has to be my favourite moisturizer ever . Needless to say when I found that they did it in a spray fragrance I got super excited . My husband has bought me a bottle of the fragrance the past two Christmas 's and I 'm obsessed to say the least . It is perfect , if like me , you love that sweet candy scent that is fresh , elegant and not at all sickly and over the top , as you can often find . With Philosophy quickly becoming one of my favourite brands , I thought today I would share my Philosophy Wish List with you . If you haven 't tried the ' Fresh Cream ' fragrance and lotion you absolutely must , but if you have purchased some of the things on my wish list before , I 'd love to know your thoughts and recommendations too ! : ) This set looks amazing . I already love the body lotion but wasn 't aware that they did a hand cream too . Hand creams are a must for me , I like to keep them on my bedside table so I remember to put them on at night . Dry hands are no fun and if it 's anything like the body lotion and I get to wake up to smooth , fresh moisturized hands . . . add to cart ! ! : p body spritz , fresh cream This I would carry around in my gym bag for those moments when I 'm feeling rather sweaty and in need of a freshen up . The scent instantly makes you feel feminine . It 's also great if you don 't want to splurge on the fragrance right away . Oh my gosh , I would never get out of the bath ! ! ! : p Seriously ! ! I have been wanting to purchase this for ages but just haven 't got round to it . I think this would be lovely for bubble baths and relaxing , whilst filling the bathroom with the most delicious scent . Office space , happy place ! The past few weeks have been rather hectic as we arrived back to the States , after two months spent in the UK with our wonderful family . The first stop was Virginia to say hi to family and pick up our cars . That was followed by a 9 hour drive to Louisville to collect our belongings and say hi and bye to all our friends , before driving 16 hours to Clearwater Florida to begin our next chapter . We have been here a week now and are starting to get in to the swing of things and settle in nicely . One of the things we were most eager to get organized when we arrived at our new apartments was setting up our desk spaces . Once they were up and in place and we had somewhere to write , a little bit of contentment set in and we felt a bit better and less homesick . Our desks are pretty much one of our favourite spots in our homes and we love setting them up to be a place where our imaginations can run free . Here 's an inside look . . . Lucy 's happy place ! : ) I 've toned it down a little since our last apartment , not necessarily on purpose , it was simply the way things came together . I wanted my space to be more crisp and fresh , with a bit less clutter and distractions . My desk came from Ikea and my bookshelf came from Target . This space is mostly for my writing , but this time I have the added extra of a makeup mirror and a place where I can keep all my makeup , so I don 't have to run in between rooms when i 'm getting ready ! : ) Let 's just talk about how awesome my new wall art is ! ! ! It 's so unbelievably awesome and I adore it . Chris surprised me for my birthday with this Rob Schamberger print of Macho Man and Mrs Elizabeth and I couldn 't have been more giddy . It fits perfectly in between my James Long original and my Chuck poster and is all the motivation I need when I sit down to work . . . ooohhhh yeeaahh ! In keeping it clean and simple , I just have a cute Starbucks white and gold mug that I use for my pens , a small gold tealight holder , I love candles , my Rapunzel pencil case to keep little bits and bobs in , makeup brush holders and of course a million notebooks . : ) Kelly 's Happy Place ! It was a bit trickier taking pictures of my desk area , as the light is obviously right in front of me . I was excited when we moved in because this seemed like the perfect little alcove to dream and be creative . I love sun shining through the windows so it makes me happy being able to sit , focus and look outside . Like Lucy , I only added a few pictures on the wall and tried , tried to condense what was actually on my desk . I did a little ! : p This picture makes me so giddy . I just love my little Funko Pop models . Cap I got last year and Ron , Lucy got me for my birthday . They are just the cutest things and two of my favourite characters , so I feel very inspired and motivated having them on my desk . I also have a very cute Kate Spade coaster from Lucy as well as a 50 's style American fridge pencil case full of gel pens . 90 's child ! ! : ) The princess place mat is for when I use my computer , I don 't want to scratch my desk ! Oh and of course I have a gazillion notebooks too . Back in my old apartment , I had a built in bookshelf upon which I had one whole shelf dedicated to all things Italian . Alas this apartment didn 't have one so I cut down on all my Italian things and placed a few on my desk for motivation . The pot coaster is of the Amalfi coast and I got it from Nanna and Grandad 's porch ! : p My bottle of Baci chocolate notes basically just shows how much Baci I have consumed and my little Italian Easter egg reminds me of an Easter spent in Italy . : ) We hope you enjoyed this peak into our new apartments and the places where we love to sit and write this blog . Do you have a favourite spot in your home ? We 'd love to read about it in the comments below ! Have an awesome Monday . We look back on our wrestling careers often and fondly . We love reminiscing about all the awesome stuff that we got to do and like to stop and say thank you for the amazing opportunities we had . Some experiences , like the one we are about to share with you today , still seem pretty unbelievable and we have a hard time believing we really , actually got to do it . This is one of our favourite stories , extracted from our book , that we love to share and that gives us incredibly goofy grins . Oh and before we begin , to everyone running the show / behind the scenes at A League of Their Own , you are all awesome , we had an absolute blast , it was an experience of a lifetime for us and we are forever grateful . Ooh and if you ever need wrestlers again . . . we 're available ! ! ! : p Read more » Day 's where you just feel down , unmotivated , sad , tearful , overwhelmed , scared , insecure and just plain meh , we 've all had them and know that no matter how hard we try , we 're always going to have them . But on these " down days " as I like to call them , is it possible to get out of our funk ? Can we really switch gears and change our mind set ? If so , How ? I 'm not an expert but here is a little list of 5 things that work for me that i hope will work for you too . These are all just things from experience that I have tried on those " meh days " and even though I have a long way to go to remember these things at all times , I do feel like it 's progress from shutting the door and wallowing in my black cloud completely . Music is a great release . Whether it be listening to sad songs and getting those tears out or happy songs that get you dancing , it helps you to forget your worries for a few minutes and let the emotions flow . Our aim is happiness on these days though , so forget your sad songs , put on some happy music and smile and dance like no one is watching . It truly is amazing how the body reacts in such delight and positivity when one switches on The Overtones and shakes their tail feather . One day when I was having a " meh day " I came home from work to find that my husband had put dinner on the table and had got Chuck ready to watch on Netflix . He was going out that night and I had been stressing all day at work feeling like I had other things I needed to do , like cleaning and laundry . However , since Chuck was already on the TV when I walked through the door , I settled in on the couch and decided a few episodes couldn 't hurt . Well that was it , as soon as I started laughing at Jeffster 's antics and Zachary Levi 's facial expressions my worries ebbed away and my mood was instantly lifted . Sometimes it 's OK to step away from the ' to do list ' that might seem never ending and take a moment for yourself and if that involves watching Chuck , it 's a must ! : p I was incredibly grateful to my husband that day for being so thoughtful . I am extremely awesome at being stubborn and when I feel sad for no reason and my husband tries to snap me out of it , I seem to get more stubborn . I do this even if he is offering something nice like a walk or to go out somewhere or to cuddle . It 's like my brain is telling me " no you have to be miserable and stay miserable for no reason " but really I know that it could just be as simple as saying yes and forgetting about my bad mood in order for me to feel happier . It really can be as easy as having a ' fake it till you make it ' kind of attitude . It 's not always easy but try your best to put on a smile , take a deep breath and get that mind frame back on the right track . Between the pages of a book is my favourite place to be . Even when I 'm " not in the mood " I find that as soon as I start reading I get so immersed in my fiction world that I forget what I was " meh " about in the first place . Sometimes distracting yourself from worries and problems can be a good thing . You either realize that there was no need to worry in the first place or taking that step away from it for a minute can give your brain time to think of a solution . Another thing I am terrible at . Most of the time if one things ticks me off or sets off me feeling sad , it very soon becomes everything that is making me sad , mad or angry . This doesn 't help at all , it only makes things worse . If you focus on the one thing and think of solutions to help solve it , you can prevent yourself from having a breakdown over things you weren 't really mad about at all . Focus on one thing at a time and get over each hurdle step by step . If you try and do to many things at once , it can often bring you down and make you feel overwhelmed and that 's not what we want our brain to feel . We want to be positive , strong and keep our ' we can take on the world ' mantra going as much as we can . Hi ! We are Lucy and Kelly , professional wrestlers turned lifestyle bloggers . We 're coffee lovers , fast talkers and never go anywhere without a notebook and pen . . . or each other ! ! " Keep smiling and Always dream big ! "
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Childhood for us was an absolute blast . We often laugh about being rather sheltered growing up and how we were the Queens of innocence . Our parents encouraged our imagination and all we needed was our Superman capes and a back garden to be happy . Naturally , we grew up with our crushes and showing a little interest in boys , but in all honestly , we were much more interested in who out of the four of us got to play with Thunderbird 2 . That 's just how we rolled . Having recently watched one of our die hard favourite movies from when we were younger , we thought we would share with you our childhood movie must watches , that made a huge impact on our lives . : ) This would be the movie that we recently just watched and let me tell you , we could recite it word for word . It was seriously just as awesome watching it at 28 years old , as it was at 10 . As for when we were kids , I feel obsessed would be an understatement when it comes to this one . You couldn 't stop us talking about Rocky , Colt and Tum Tum and you know for sure we were jumping off couches , sneaking around the house and pretending we were ninjas . Do you remember the scene where the boys are hanging out in their bedroom and the red buzzer goes off informing them their Mum is coming ? Yes ? so they all rush to switch the lights off and get in to bed ? Still with me ? Then Colt jumps from the mini trampoline onto the top bunk ? Got it ? Well our most favourite thing to do was imitate this by jumping from my single bed onto Kelly 's top bunk . . . therefore we were ninja 's . . . and so very cool ! : p Everything about this movie is pure awesomeness . The kids were kids , it dealt with bully 's , getting upset with your parents , spending time with your Grandparents and learning how to look after yourself . Granted I 'm not condoning kids trying to beat up kidnappers and such , well actually if you can ' MERTILIZE ' em ' it would probably be a good thing knowing how to keep yourself safe . It just had it all . Oh and of course the line ' Rocky loves Emily . ' has never left us and to this day , for whatever reason and whenever is feels right we will happily sing it to each other or ourselves . Oh , last thing , we also had huge crushes on Colt ! ! ! Didn 't everyone ? ? ? What to say , what to say ? ? The Power Rangers ROCKED ! ! I was the yellow ranger , Lucy was the pink ranger and our brother started off as Jason the red ranger until Tommy , the green ranger , came along and was just that bit cooler . Our little sister was a bit too young to join in and fully understand our love for the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers at this point , but she did on occasion sit and watch it with us . We were fanatical . When this movie came out , we were actually in New York and begged our parents to take us to see it . We were beyond excited ! Similar to The 3 Ninja 's , the rangers had us play fighting , running around our back garden , wishing we could back flip and fight off bad guys . It was just fun , you had your classic good guys and your dastardly bad guys , as well as creepy and silly characters ! It 's changed a lot over the years but we still say our Mighty Morphin Power Rangers , circa 1995 , were the best ! : ) Sabrina The Teenage Witch . I 'm going to go out on a limb here and say that " Sabrina the Teenage Witch " was probably our absolute favourite show growing up . It 's hard to fully commit to that statement because pinterest will show me clips of shows I 'd forgotten about and I will be like " Oh my goodness , that was our favourite ever . . . " you know how it goes ! In saying that though , Sabrina really was the best ! To me , the movie has a completely different feel to the actual show and every time I watch it , the outfits , the makeup and the whole look of it just takes me back to a very specific time . The movie had an almost spooky sense to it that I can 't quite fully explain but it was just so strange and wonderful . If you know what I mean please leave a comment so I don 't seem crazy ! : p Our love of Sabrina didn 't just involve watching the movie and shows though . . . come on now , this is us we are talking about ! We dreamed that our hoover ( vacuum ) could magically fly . When we moved house the drawings we did of our new bedrooms included portals to the other realm hidden behind closets , naturally . We can 't say Friday without thinking of Fridga , thank you Salem . And any time someone says fire , " Muhfire " ( spelt how you say it ) immediately pops into our heads , again thank you Salem . We loved Melissa Joan Hart and still do , it makes us so happy seeing her successful with new ventures , as well as TV shows like Melissa and Joey . She is awesome , definitely someone who brings back lots of wonderful memories ! Of course we have Mary Kate and Ashley movies in this list ! We watched absolutely everything they did . Every straight to TV movie , every TV show , we loved them all . However , three of our favourites , and the ones we watched the most , are the ones stated above . We would often watch these movies and decide who was who out of the both of us , like which roles we would play . We also liked to act out the scene where they bump into each other in the woods in ' It takes two . " We learnt the lines word for word and even imitated the accents they did in the movie ! Oh and a BIG thing from said movie is when Mary Kate 's character is asked to play the piano and gives a little speech . She say 's a line about her soon to be step mum whom she " Absolutely adores ! ! " Even at 28 , there are times when we can 't say the word ' Absolutely ' without saying it the same way she does ! Hands up if you do this too ! ! ! Mary Kate and Ashley were huge influences on us growing up and we still have tons of admiration for them both . We are also quite proud of the fact that we can always , no matter what , tell them apart . They don 't actually look that alike but it irks us when magazines get them wrong ! So that 's it for our list of must see childhood classics , there are probably tons more but these just stand out to us the most . We love that back then these kids movies were all about being kids , being silly , adventurous and being outside and using your imagination . They make us smile and feel happy and content with our childhood , we wouldn 't have had it any other way ! : ) I 've always admired bodybuilders , fitness models and athletes and for the past few months I feel it 's become my obsession to achieve my body goals . Now , you have to understand that I am all about loving your body , being happy in your own skin and that people are beautiful all different shapes and sizes . I encourage you to love yourself and do you ! : ) Recently though , I have felt very inspired to challenge and push myself like never before . For me , I love working out and I dream of being a leaner , stronger version of myself , so I 've thrown doubts and negative thoughts out the window and am determined at 28 years old to work on my focus , my mind , my will power and self control ! : ) Here I have a list of my top 5 inspirations who are keeping me motivated ! : ) Carly Rowena I absolutely adore Carly . She is one of my favourite people to watch on YouTube . Her bubbly , sweet personality always makes me smile . My favourite thing about Carly is the fact that she focuses on balance . She doesn 't tell you not to have treats or that you can never eat certain foods again , she 's all about eating well and healthy while sticking to great workouts . She is incredibly motivating and just lovely and I feel she has such a way of lifting others up and making every goal seem reachable . She has easy to follow recipes and exercise routines and just makes the whole gym life and healthy eating so much more fun . : ) Body Composition Coach ! This guy is honest , caring , kind and truly sees the best in everyone . He wants everyone to succeed and will be there every step of the way . He motivates me every single day through his words of wisdom and actions . Chris is constantly striving to learn and gain knowledge in the world of fitness and I couldn 't be more proud . His training tips and advice have helped me so much over the past few years and I love that he 's all about having fun , teaching people a happy balance and encouraging others to be the best them that they can be . : ) In addition , his posts and pictures always carry an element of humor in them , I simply love the way he writes , it definitely helps to keep you inspired . YouTube ! I came across Nikki a few weeks ago and I adore her . She comes across so incredibly down to earth and sweet that I love watching her videos and listening to her advice . She is so cute , fun and real when she speaks and it makes me feel like I can achieve anything . Also , I love that she often shows you the hard parts and the struggle when she 's working out . She doesn 't always breeze through gym sessions without looks of pain , acting like it 's the easiest thing in the world , and I feel like that is so encouraging to others . It has really helped motivate me to get past the burn and keep going . I think she 's wonderful and just awesome ! : ) I recently came across Ashley and I adore her positive , encouraging personality . Ashley is an extremely sweet , kind hearted and happy person and her video 's always make me smile and lift me up . I love the way she wants to empower others to do what makes them happy , live the life they want and be confident in their own skin . She truly kicks ass and she also happens to be Italian ! Yay ! :) He 's THE ROCK ! ! ! ! ! Really do I need to say anymore ? ! ! ! : p I love this man ! I love his personality , his heart , his work ethic , his focus , his smile , his attitude , just every single thing about him . I look at him and I immediately want to be a better person . I want to wake up each day and make a difference . He truly is an inspiration and a role model . Do you have people in the fitness world that you admire ? I hope you check out the people mentioned above and that they are able to inspire you to achieve whatever goals you have set for yourself too ! : ) Happy Monday ! With our Italian grandparents , Easter has always been a big deal for us . Like every other holiday , we spend it together around the table . Our Nanna will sprinkle us with holy water and say a blessing before we eat . Then after a delicious meal we will have a traditional Italian Colomba ( Dove ) cake , as well as homemade Pastiera , which we have made since we can remember . Nanna also used to make us crosses out of palm leaves from Church , she hasn 't done that for a while now , but we still have ours from a few years ago by our beds . Obviously the last few years have been slightly different with us being away , but we still stay true to our traditions . Here 's a little look at Easter 2016 ! : ) When we were little , we spent an Easter in Italy with our family . Everywhere we looked , we saw these amazing Easter Eggs . Although very different to our traditional British Easter Eggs , we love them just the same . We found this one at an awesome Italian market here in Clearwater and needless to say we were extremely excited and squealed with glee ! Italian chocolate is amazing ! Like we mentioned above , we still have the palms Nanna made us a few years back , they stay by our bedsides near our pictures of Padre Pio . This picture our Grandad gave us when we moved away and we treasure it . Our Grandparents are very religious and it always makes them happy to know we care about what they teach and share with us . It 's also a comfort to us to turn to this when we are missing them so much to know that they are thinking about us . Yay , Yay , Yay ! ! This is our second attempt at making traditional Pastiera Napoletana without our Grandad and little sister . Last year we weren 't as successful but this year it came out great ! We got the barley and flour from the same Italian market as our Easter egg and can definitely tell what a difference using authentic Italian ingredients makes ! The only thing missing is the half bottle of Sambuca that Nanna likes to put in hers ! : p We can 't express how much looking at this and eating it fills our hearts with happiness . Ok , so as we are working on a more healthy balanced lifestyle lately , we thought we would try and make a less guilty Easter treat . We had been scouring Pinterest and found these Avocado brownies and thought we would give them a go . Now , we 're not going to lie , it 's definitely a taste we are going to have to get used to . The avocado kind of gives it a slightly bitter aftertaste , however , they did turn out moist , soft and not all bad . We are looking forward to trying out more gluten free , paleo recipes and even some that are just slightly healthier in future . : ) If you like avocado and are looking for another desert option , we would definitely say try them out ! There you have it , some of the yummy things we will be eating this weekend , as well as a little insight into our family traditions . : ) Hope you all have a wonderful Easter and get to spend it with your loved ones ! Love Lucy and Kelly xx I believe I first discovered Rebecca Pugh last year , while I was having my usual morning Twitter catch up before work . I clicked on a link that took me to her blog and after reading a little about her , I saved the page so I could visit it again later that day . I instantly loved that Rebecca was both a Disney enthusiast as well as an avid bookworm and when I found out that her first book " Return to Bluebell hill " was going to be released soon , Makeup Monday : Tarte Rainforest Of The Sea ! When I saw all the Instagram pictures of Tarte Cosmetics new makeup line , I knew it was going to be something that I lusted after for a while and added to my wish list . The packaging completely suckered me in , all the blues , purples and golds , I thought yes please . I was also really interested in the concept of the products being water based and extremely hydrating and fresh . Lucky for me , I was gifted a bunch of Sephora gift cards for Christmas , thank you to my awesome family , so I eagerly awaited the release date so I could visit the store and purchase some goodies . In need of a new foundation and concealer , I knew those were the two products I wanted to pick up first . Then I noticed that they had a 500 point reward for Beauty Insiders , so in purchasing a little treat for Kelly , I went ahead and used some of my points that had been stacking up online . The foundation ! The packaging seriously is stunning , just look at it . I love the top how it blends from gold to purple . I 'm in two minds about this foundation though . I 've only tried it twice , so I know I 'm going to have to give it a fair chance and use it a bunch before I make a true conclusion , but as it stands right now , the positives are that it feels so lightweight on the skin , it doesn 't make me oily and it does look rather beautiful and natural . The negatives are that the little droplet only produces a small amount , so I feel like I 'm having to keep adding more product as I go a long . If you want really full coverage I feel you will be using a lot . I will say though that the lady gave me ' fair light neutral ' which I believe is too light for me , I know I should trust the experts , but I think this might be why I can 't make my mind up yet . I think I 'm going to exchange it for ' light neutral ' , as the little bit I tested ( see below ) seemed to match me much better . It is priced at $ 39 for 1fl oz . I LOVE this concealer . For me it has great coverage , barely creases and feels lovely and hydrating under my eyes . I was quite fond of the Urban Decay concealer until recently , finding that it creased a lot and was too light for me . I have this Tarte one in the shade ' light medium ' and it is perfect . I think it has to be my favourite concealer I have tried yet . This is priced at $ 26 for 0 . 34 fl oz . 500 point rewards . In this adorable reward box I got a mini ' Lights , camera , splashes ' mascara , mini cleansing gel , mini marine boosting mist , a lipstick in shade ' beach bum ' and a few shades of the foundation to try . I 've never chosen a 500 points reward before , so I was super excited to get the cute box with all the pretty samples inside . For 500 points , I do wish they were a little bigger but I was still very happy that I got to try some of the products out . I was ready for a new mascara and have heard so many great things about this one , so I really can 't wait to try it . The lipstick shade is stunning , it 's very much that dark mauve , kind of nude shade . I love the cleansing gel and have used it to wash my face the past two nights , it smells amazing and leaves my skin feeling super fresh and soft . The mist I feel I will have to try as a primer . I did try it over my foundation , but as I get a tad oily in my t zone , I felt it just made me look shiny . It does get points for smelling wonderful though , very lemony , which I love . I 'm so pleased that I got to try a few foundation shades , with living in Clearwater now , I think my skin is starting to tan and as I mentioned earlier the lady at Sephora put ' fair light neutral ' on me and said it was perfect but I was a little unsure . When trying ' light neutral ' I felt it matched my skin tone better and actually gave me coverage instead of just sitting on my face and making me look a little pale . Overall I have to say that this is a gorgeous collection . I 'm looking forward to trying the foundation more and hope to be able to try their ' Hydrating boost drink ' as if its anything like the cleanser I think I will love it ! : ) Have you tried anything from Rainforest of the sea ? What are you loving most ? So it 's been 2 weeks since we moved to sunny Clearwater , Florida . We are just a few minutes away from both St Pete and Clearwater beach , as well as even closer to a little causeway just off the highway . Whilst both job hunting and settling into our new apartments , we have had quite a few afternoons where we have just gotten in the car and drove to the beach . Monday Motivation : Working on myself ! Growing up I was always very shy and anxious when it came to trying new things , going to new places and doing something that I had never done before . I 'm naturally an over thinker and about 50 million thoughts would go through my head before doing any of those things mentioned above . It would be like a battle going on in my brain , all the positive things vs . all the negative things , how things could go awesome vs . how things could go terribly wrong . Looking back I 'm proud of myself with how far I got in wrestling , as though I had many of those thoughts daily , somehow I pushed through and achieved many a dream I had in my head . I feel the love that I had for what I was doing , no matter how nervous and scared I was , always managed to win , and for that I am grateful , but it 's not the destination and achievements that is most important , it 's the journey along the way . Recently having gone through a huge life change , ( leaving our lovely jobs in Louisville , spending two months in England to then return to the USA to move States , and completely turning our routine upside down ) and having to somewhat start a fresh , my brain is back to doing somersaults . Of course I 've always known that this is just who I am , but this past week I really found myself getting extremely down about it . One big reason this has come to light is because of job hunting , yes job hunting . It is absolutely terrible trying to find a job when all your brain wants to do is tell you the things you wouldn 't be any good at . Getting the confidence to ring up or walk in to a place is simply terrifying when you think your dressed wrong or don 't look the part . Even when it comes to working on this blog or my book , I have moments of utter " I suck at everything " and ladies and gentlemen at 28 years of age I realize it has to stop . Now when I set goals for myself , deep down in the back of my mind and in my heart , I absolutely know that I 'm going to achieve them , because I want to . I think the passion I have when I have a dreMeditation ! My husband introduced me to this . When I am having moments where my brain just wants to churn out a million obstacles , he will get me to pause , lay down , put some calming music on and breathe . At first I would lie there , thoughts swimming around like crazy , but over time I 've learnt to escape to a happy place while breathing . I 'm still working on it but feel a lot better for it . Surrounding yourself with positivity ! In my office I have a picture of Macho Man and a poster of Chuck , I like to look at them when I get writers block or start to get down on myself . They inspire me and simply put a smile on my face . I also love to read quotes and occasionally just allow myself to go on a Pinterest spree and search for them . It might sound silly but when you find a quote that resonates with you it can really motivate you and lift your spirits . I also like that by simply coming across a quote you like , you know someone out there has felt , or is feeling , the same and you don 't feel so alone . Put your positive pants on ! If I 'm having bad day , overthinking leaving the house or worried about meeting someone , I sometimes find it helpful to wear an item of clothing that I truly feel 100 % me in . If I 'm trying to dress a certain way because I 'm worried I don 't look 28 , I end up saying sack it and throwing caution to the wind and wearing my favourite Thor tshirt . Of course if it is a job interview and you have to wear something a little out of your comfort zone , try wearing a necklace , a bracelet , earrings or even a watch that you love , that comforts you and gives you a little confidence boost ! But . . . BUT NOTHING ! ! ! This is a big one and one that my husband try 's his best to help me with from day to day . The minute the words " But . . " or " What if . . . " leave my mouth , he says " Stop . " Most of the time I will try to go on . . . " I 'm just saying . . . " and again he will say " No , stop . " The ' buts ' and ' what if 's ' usually come with a negative and I am working my hardest to get rid of them , to not even let those thoughts see the light of day , because you know what ? They don 't help anything , nothing good comes from them . I know there is always going to be the odd down day , the odd moment of doubt , but I am working my absolute hardest to not let the doubt ruin the beauty of trying something new and being the person I want to be . I hope this post helps if you , like me , struggle with being confident minded sometimes . If you have ways that help you in this situation , I would absolutely love to hear how you cope and deal with it ! : ) Where were you in 62 ? We 're always going to have those movies that become instant classics . Movies that are passed down through generations , movies that if you are one of the rare people that haven 't seen them , will get funny looks from the people who have . Movies like , Breakfast at Tiffany 's , Dirty Dancing , The Godfather , The Breakfast Club and Grease are some that come to mind . Even if you haven 't seen some of those , you have most likely heard of them . One particular cult classic that is one of my favourites , is George Lucas 's second film , American Graffiti . Made in 1972 , the film is actually set in 1962 , in Modesto California and follows the lives of a group of kids as they spend their last night together , after recently graduating High school , picking up girls , hanging out outside " Mel 's Diner , " cruising around town till the early hours of the morning and figuring out what they want to do with their futures . It 's teenage life in the 60 's and is amazing to see what kids did back then . My Dad even admitted to pulling pranks similar to the ones John Milner ( Paul Le Mat ) and Carol Morrison ( Mackenzie Phillips ) pulled while stopped at a set of traffic lights . In this scene they are hit with water balloons that are thrown through the window of Milner 's Deuce Coupe by a bunch of kids in a Cadillac , immediately John and Carol jump out of the Deuce Coupe and proceed to let the air out of the Cadillac 's tires and spray shaving cream all over it ! ! ! You did what Dad ? ? ! : ) The movie was received with critical acclaim and is a definite must see . It is a coming of age movie for teens , and a Car Enthusiasts dream . It has influenced many people to recreate or buy their own Cars from the movie . There 's the bright yellow 32 Deuce Coupe , the white 58 Impala , the 56 T - Bird and my favourite The 55 Chevy . . . like father like daughter . . . Back in 1977 , Dad bought a 1963 Humber because it looked like the 1955 black Chevy , driven by Harrison Ford in the movie . The Chevy was way too expensive for a 21 year old at the time , so he bought the Humber and used it as a daily drive , until he had a company car to drive around in . In the late 70 's / Early 80 's Dad was a member of the Rainy City Cruisers , a custom / classic car club that would cruise around Manchester every Friday night . This was the first car Dad restored himself , changing it to add well , more power and to also look and sound more like the 55 Chevy that he loved . He took out the old straight 6 engine and fitted it with a 327 Chevy V8 engine . He also added a turbo 400 gearbox and a Jaguar back axle . Pretty neat huh ? A photo from a Car Show last year . Dad even added a Hood Scoop to make it more like the one in American Graffiti . We just recently watched the movie with him again and enjoyed hearing Dad 's stories and also singing along to the famous soundtrack . We probably knew the American Graffiti soundtrack before we even bought our first album ! It has influenced our taste in music as well as helped us appreciate Dad 's love of cars as well as his home decorating style . . . About a year and half to two years ago I was watching one of Jaclyn Hill 's videos when she talked about a body cream from philosophy . com by the name of ' Fresh Cream ' , I was on the hunt for a moisturizing body lotion that I would like the smell of and that would really do it 's job in making my skin feel soft and smooth and 100 % moisturized , so I thought I would run a long to Sephora and check out what all the fuss was about . After simply picking up the tester from the shelf , opening the lid and smelling it , I was hooked . My goodness , did it smell amazing . I could not wait to go home and lather myself in it . I want to say it has been about a year and a half now and I have gone through 3 bottles of this stuff . It is divine . Every single time I put it on it always surprises me and makes me obsess over it all over again . Literally , every day , I 'm like " Oh my goodness , I just want to eat it , how good does this smell ? " : p It has to be my favourite moisturizer ever . Needless to say when I found that they did it in a spray fragrance I got super excited . My husband has bought me a bottle of the fragrance the past two Christmas 's and I 'm obsessed to say the least . It is perfect , if like me , you love that sweet candy scent that is fresh , elegant and not at all sickly and over the top , as you can often find . With Philosophy quickly becoming one of my favourite brands , I thought today I would share my Philosophy Wish List with you . If you haven 't tried the ' Fresh Cream ' fragrance and lotion you absolutely must , but if you have purchased some of the things on my wish list before , I 'd love to know your thoughts and recommendations too ! : ) This set looks amazing . I already love the body lotion but wasn 't aware that they did a hand cream too . Hand creams are a must for me , I like to keep them on my bedside table so I remember to put them on at night . Dry hands are no fun and if it 's anything like the body lotion and I get to wake up to smooth , fresh moisturized hands . . . add to cart ! ! : p body spritz , fresh cream This I would carry around in my gym bag for those moments when I 'm feeling rather sweaty and in need of a freshen up . The scent instantly makes you feel feminine . It 's also great if you don 't want to splurge on the fragrance right away . Oh my gosh , I would never get out of the bath ! ! ! : p Seriously ! ! I have been wanting to purchase this for ages but just haven 't got round to it . I think this would be lovely for bubble baths and relaxing , whilst filling the bathroom with the most delicious scent . Office space , happy place ! The past few weeks have been rather hectic as we arrived back to the States , after two months spent in the UK with our wonderful family . The first stop was Virginia to say hi to family and pick up our cars . That was followed by a 9 hour drive to Louisville to collect our belongings and say hi and bye to all our friends , before driving 16 hours to Clearwater Florida to begin our next chapter . We have been here a week now and are starting to get in to the swing of things and settle in nicely . One of the things we were most eager to get organized when we arrived at our new apartments was setting up our desk spaces . Once they were up and in place and we had somewhere to write , a little bit of contentment set in and we felt a bit better and less homesick . Our desks are pretty much one of our favourite spots in our homes and we love setting them up to be a place where our imaginations can run free . Here 's an inside look . . . Lucy 's happy place ! : ) I 've toned it down a little since our last apartment , not necessarily on purpose , it was simply the way things came together . I wanted my space to be more crisp and fresh , with a bit less clutter and distractions . My desk came from Ikea and my bookshelf came from Target . This space is mostly for my writing , but this time I have the added extra of a makeup mirror and a place where I can keep all my makeup , so I don 't have to run in between rooms when i 'm getting ready ! : ) Let 's just talk about how awesome my new wall art is ! ! ! It 's so unbelievably awesome and I adore it . Chris surprised me for my birthday with this Rob Schamberger print of Macho Man and Mrs Elizabeth and I couldn 't have been more giddy . It fits perfectly in between my James Long original and my Chuck poster and is all the motivation I need when I sit down to work . . . ooohhhh yeeaahh ! In keeping it clean and simple , I just have a cute Starbucks white and gold mug that I use for my pens , a small gold tealight holder , I love candles , my Rapunzel pencil case to keep little bits and bobs in , makeup brush holders and of course a million notebooks . : ) Kelly 's Happy Place ! It was a bit trickier taking pictures of my desk area , as the light is obviously right in front of me . I was excited when we moved in because this seemed like the perfect little alcove to dream and be creative . I love sun shining through the windows so it makes me happy being able to sit , focus and look outside . Like Lucy , I only added a few pictures on the wall and tried , tried to condense what was actually on my desk . I did a little ! : p This picture makes me so giddy . I just love my little Funko Pop models . Cap I got last year and Ron , Lucy got me for my birthday . They are just the cutest things and two of my favourite characters , so I feel very inspired and motivated having them on my desk . I also have a very cute Kate Spade coaster from Lucy as well as a 50 's style American fridge pencil case full of gel pens . 90 's child ! ! : ) The princess place mat is for when I use my computer , I don 't want to scratch my desk ! Oh and of course I have a gazillion notebooks too . Back in my old apartment , I had a built in bookshelf upon which I had one whole shelf dedicated to all things Italian . Alas this apartment didn 't have one so I cut down on all my Italian things and placed a few on my desk for motivation . The pot coaster is of the Amalfi coast and I got it from Nanna and Grandad 's porch ! : p My bottle of Baci chocolate notes basically just shows how much Baci I have consumed and my little Italian Easter egg reminds me of an Easter spent in Italy . : ) We hope you enjoyed this peak into our new apartments and the places where we love to sit and write this blog . Do you have a favourite spot in your home ? We 'd love to read about it in the comments below ! Have an awesome Monday . We look back on our wrestling careers often and fondly . We love reminiscing about all the awesome stuff that we got to do and like to stop and say thank you for the amazing opportunities we had . Some experiences , like the one we are about to share with you today , still seem pretty unbelievable and we have a hard time believing we really , actually got to do it . This is one of our favourite stories , extracted from our book , that we love to share and that gives us incredibly goofy grins . Oh and before we begin , to everyone running the show / behind the scenes at A League of Their Own , you are all awesome , we had an absolute blast , it was an experience of a lifetime for us and we are forever grateful . Ooh and if you ever need wrestlers again . . . we 're available ! ! ! : p Read more » Day 's where you just feel down , unmotivated , sad , tearful , overwhelmed , scared , insecure and just plain meh , we 've all had them and know that no matter how hard we try , we 're always going to have them . But on these " down days " as I like to call them , is it possible to get out of our funk ? Can we really switch gears and change our mind set ? If so , How ? I 'm not an expert but here is a little list of 5 things that work for me that i hope will work for you too . These are all just things from experience that I have tried on those " meh days " and even though I have a long way to go to remember these things at all times , I do feel like it 's progress from shutting the door and wallowing in my black cloud completely . Music is a great release . Whether it be listening to sad songs and getting those tears out or happy songs that get you dancing , it helps you to forget your worries for a few minutes and let the emotions flow . Our aim is happiness on these days though , so forget your sad songs , put on some happy music and smile and dance like no one is watching . It truly is amazing how the body reacts in such delight and positivity when one switches on The Overtones and shakes their tail feather . One day when I was having a " meh day " I came home from work to find that my husband had put dinner on the table and had got Chuck ready to watch on Netflix . He was going out that night and I had been stressing all day at work feeling like I had other things I needed to do , like cleaning and laundry . However , since Chuck was already on the TV when I walked through the door , I settled in on the couch and decided a few episodes couldn 't hurt . Well that was it , as soon as I started laughing at Jeffster 's antics and Zachary Levi 's facial expressions my worries ebbed away and my mood was instantly lifted . Sometimes it 's OK to step away from the ' to do list ' that might seem never ending and take a moment for yourself and if that involves watching Chuck , it 's a must ! : p I was incredibly grateful to my husband that day for being so thoughtful . I am extremely awesome at being stubborn and when I feel sad for no reason and my husband tries to snap me out of it , I seem to get more stubborn . I do this even if he is offering something nice like a walk or to go out somewhere or to cuddle . It 's like my brain is telling me " no you have to be miserable and stay miserable for no reason " but really I know that it could just be as simple as saying yes and forgetting about my bad mood in order for me to feel happier . It really can be as easy as having a ' fake it till you make it ' kind of attitude . It 's not always easy but try your best to put on a smile , take a deep breath and get that mind frame back on the right track . Between the pages of a book is my favourite place to be . Even when I 'm " not in the mood " I find that as soon as I start reading I get so immersed in my fiction world that I forget what I was " meh " about in the first place . Sometimes distracting yourself from worries and problems can be a good thing . You either realize that there was no need to worry in the first place or taking that step away from it for a minute can give your brain time to think of a solution . Another thing I am terrible at . Most of the time if one things ticks me off or sets off me feeling sad , it very soon becomes everything that is making me sad , mad or angry . This doesn 't help at all , it only makes things worse . If you focus on the one thing and think of solutions to help solve it , you can prevent yourself from having a breakdown over things you weren 't really mad about at all . Focus on one thing at a time and get over each hurdle step by step . If you try and do to many things at once , it can often bring you down and make you feel overwhelmed and that 's not what we want our brain to feel . We want to be positive , strong and keep our ' we can take on the world ' mantra going as much as we can . Hi ! We are Lucy and Kelly , professional wrestlers turned lifestyle bloggers . We 're coffee lovers , fast talkers and never go anywhere without a notebook and pen . . . or each other ! ! " Keep smiling and Always dream big ! "
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had such a busy day ! I volunteer on the base for family readiness ( we are there to help families when members get deployed ) and I went w / our coordinator to the Navy base to watch how they do a pre - deployement briefing . Then I went to lunch . . . had a salad . Came to work and jumped right in . Tons to do so really can 't write much . Just wanted to say I hope you all are having a happy Friday . I am tired today . I have no idea why . Went to bed @ 10 . . . woke up @ 5 : 30 w / the kids but then got them back down for another 30 minutes . That is actually pretty normal so nothing there to make me extra tired . I feel okay . Just tired . One more thing to add to the list to make me hungry . Being tired . I think it is my bodies way of trying to get enough energy to start the day . I made my coffee extra strong today and am going to down a glass of water in a minute to try and get going . Okay , enough whining about that stuff . Read all the comments and really want to thank you all for the support . It is super helpful and appreciated ! I made it yesterday . . . and yes , I did dip into my flex points but again , everything was healthy and good for me so I feel okay about it . Not really sure why I was so hungry but I was so I ate . . . making sure to take breaks to see if I really was still hungry . On a brighter note , my neighbor is doing better and has been moved out of the ICU . I am so glad . I don 't think I could handle the stress of something else bad happening right now . Packed and ready for the day . More later . Definately a good thing that I packed enough snacks today . I think I might go into my weekly points this evening , but I am good with that . I am at least eating and making HEALTHY choices . Not an easy task when there is so much crap where you work . There are over 300 employees here and they are always bringing things for people to eat . . . sugary , flourery , bad for you things . STEP AWAY from the treats ! On with my day . What is up with that ? I was starving all day yesterday , and I ate a lot ! Fortunately it was all healthy stuff , but still . I even went to bed hungry and woke up first thing hungry . I just ate breakfast , had a cup of coffee and downed a bottle of water . I am going to wait about 20 minutes to make sure that I am still hungry , but I don 't get it . I am eating protein and dairy products as well as fiber filled things . How am I supposed to lose weight if I am always hungry ? On a not so happy note . . . my neighbor , who I have known my entire life and is like a second mother to me is in the ICU . She is very sick and they just don 't know if she is going to make it . 3 of her daughters are here and the 4th will be in tonight . I hate this . Well , the numbers are in and . . . . . IamDOWN ! ! ! ! 3 . 3 lbs . The planning this week really paid off . I did get yelled at by WWO for losing more than 2lbs but oh well . . . I think a lot must have been water weight . Now just to lose that 1 . 7 lbs to get rid of the 5 lbs I gained . Got the week mapped out , made some yummy and HUGE 2 pt muffins from a HungryGirl recipe and the day is ready to begin . I do have a sore throat tho so we will see . More later . I really find , that on the weekends I tend to eat more . I think it is b / c I am home and kind of bored . Not in a bad way , just not constantly working . Today I made lunch for the family . I made corndogs & mac & cheese for dh , toddler and other toddler . I made myself a grilled cheese and carrots . I put the plates on the table , we all sat down and the oldest toddler says " I want a sandwich and carrots . " Perplexed I looked to dh for guidance . . . he was lookinng at ds like he had a 2nd head and I thought " hell no , not sharing ! " and then I passed my plate over and offered him some . He took 1 / 2 the sandwich and 1 / 2 the carrots . I was definately hungry at the end of the meal , but I felt good that my ds is able to ask for healthier choices . I was taking the easy way out for him and I really shouldn 't do that . Nice little reminder . Oh , and the look and dh 's face . . . priceless . I belong to a mommy board that I found when I was pg . Well , I actually found another board and we all moved to a private board b / c of the restrictions of the first board . Well , there has been never ending drama on this board and it looks like it is shutting down . This makes me so incredibly sad . Seriously . I was with these women thru my entire pregnancy w / my daughter up until today . I can 't figure the drama out . . . why would people lie and do these things to one another . . . especially on the net ? Oh well , just thought I would say , I still managed to keep my eating under control , even with feeling sad and depressed about this . : - ( Well , I think I am doing okay and hanging in . We had guest for dinner last night and I made some pork chops , broccoli and a yummy spinach salad . For dessert I made these little cheesecake bites . Chocolate graham crackers w / some of that Kraft cheesecake filling in them . If you break the crackers into 4 's and then top them , they are 1 pt each . . . 4 are 5 pts . It is yummy and they were a hit . soooooooooooooooooooo easty . Who knew ? AF is kicking my butt though . I have some serious cramps and just can 't seem to get too motivated to do anything . It really is making me hungry too . Yuck ! Hmmmm , seems like EVERYTHING makes me hungry . That free lap band sounds better and better . ( Yes , I am kicking myself in the behind as I type this ) . Okay , making healthy choices : checkexercising : no checkdrinking lots of water : checkWell , I guess 2 out of 3 ain 't bad ! Lately I have been doing a lot of soul searching about what motivates me . I really want to know why I was able to lose weight so many years ago , but it seems to be such a struggle this time . Years ago , and I have to say , it wasn 't the first time I ever tried to lose weight , I had signed up for the Avon - 3Day breast cancer walk . 60 miles in 3 days . I had to train so I forced myself outside every day for a minimum of 1 hr and the weekends were longer . With all the exercise I got to eat a lot more . I also was successful at losing the weight and it felt so good . I got to go out , get attention from people who had otherwise ignored me my whole life and I could buy clothes off the rack w / out trying them on . Now , I am a tired mom of 2 beautiful kids , a wife to a wonderful husband and I work at least full time . I own a home that I have to keep up , I cook , I clean I do not exercise . I also volunteer for the Family readiness group on my husbands base . I can not buy clothes off the rack , I don 't go out often and I often try to do things the easy way in order to cut back on time . My motivation to be healthy is my main focus this time , where the last time it was to lose weight . I have kids I want to role model for , and yet I have a hard time doing that . . . at least when they are not around . yep , that is right . . . I think I am a closet eater . I don 't want people to see the fat girl eating ice cream so I buy it and find a quiet corner and eat it . This time , I have less time and money to invest . This time though , I have the power of knowing I can do it . I didn 't have that the last time . ( hmmm . . . I wonder if that is part of my problem ) . So , my motivation is my kids . I really want to be a good role model for them and I really don 't want them to be embarrased of me when they grow up . At least not for my weight . They already are going to be embarrased of me for the lone reason that I AM their mom . My motivation is my kids . I want to be healthy and life a long life in order to watch them grow up and become the wonderful adults that I know they wiPosted by did great yesterday , even though some jerk brought in chocolate / yogurt / peanut butter covered pretzels . I love the salt / sweet flavor . I did not have ONE ! ! Woot for my nsv ! Packed up stuff again today . Left overs from last night . . . OMG , that was good stuff . Dh & the kids LOVED it ! Seriously . They couldn 't get enough and I made them stop so I would have some leftovers . What a great , easy way to get the veggies in too ! I need to go grab my coffee and start to get some work done . Hope you all have a good day ! Baked ApplesServes 6 , Easy3 WW pts each . 6 medium to large apples4 TBS Peanut butter1 TBS cinnamonWash and core apples . Mix PB & cinnamon in bowl . Spoon into apples . Place in crockpot on low for 4 hrs . ( this is a family favorite . . . the toddler , infant and dh all love it . It is healthy and filling too ! ) Sounds like I am going on vacation , right ? ? ? Not so much . I spent so much time cooking this weekend ( A rush of inspiration ! ) , last night I packed dh , mine & ds lunches so that it was ready and we could just roll this morning . Good thing too , b / c for some reason ds decided to sleep late so we were having to fly . I came to work , fixed myself and eggwhite and lite english muffin sandwich . ( we have a little kitchen here ) . Oh , and a cup of coffee w / some ff creamer . Not a lot but a 4 pt . breakfast . I put in a Baked Apples ( OMG , these are so good and the family loves them , I make them every couple of weeks or so ) . I packed the Quick Quinoa & Turkey Taco Stew , a granola bar , some strawberries , some yogurt and carrots . Lots of fresh things and lots of variety for choice . I don 't plan to eat it all , but if I do , it would be okay and I would still have plenty of points left over . I plan to make some moo - shoo pork ( sp ? ) tonight . I made some shredded pork the other day in the crock pot so i think I will throw it in the skillet to warm it w / some terriaki sauce , throw in some brocolli slaw and serve it w / lettuce . . . I guess more of a lettuce wrap but I call it something else so dh will be more willing to eat it . Anyway , that is the plan for the day . . . Plus lots of water . Swizzlepop I AM a size 6 again has been talking about it on her blog and I need to do it too . Thanks for the reminder . : - ) So , I was just going to go on like I didn 't weigh in and then next week just post my loss ( b / c I am sure I will have one ) and I couldn 't do it . I was feeling GUILTY . . . yep , keeping this blog does that to me . Makes me accountable . Really , this should be titled weekly weigh in , but as I am really embarrased , I am hoping no one will really read it . Sigh . In 2 weeks I am up 5 lbs . Even . Yep . Explain to me how in 2 weeks I can gain 2 lbs but it will now take me 3 - 4 to lose them ? Oh well , today was great . Followed my plan . Made a yummy spinach and chicken salad for lunch while dh & kids had pb & j ( one of my favs ) . Actually , the salad was really good . I threw in 2 strawberries , a couple of craisens , some chicken I cooked yesterday and some rasberry vinagarette . But , I decided to be a little crazy and threw some orange peel on there and it was GREAT ! ! ! Dh , and both kids decided to mooch from me . Made me slightly irritated , but glad that they all like the good for you food too . Well , must go put the kids to bed . Wish me luck for the week . Seriuosly , Roni ( Roni 's Weight Watchen Page ( s ) ) always is so inspiring so I found a recipe of hers and made it . That Quick Quinoa & Turkey Taco Stew . It looks just like she made it and taste really good too . Even dh liked it . I figured I would freeze some . Then I cut up 2 packs of chicken breast and threw in some garlic to cook it up . I then bagged 3 10 oz bags and 3 3 oz bags . I kept one of each out for the week . I figured I would make something with the 10 oz one for dinner this week and something for lunch w / the other one . I also cooked up a lb of ground turkey and bagged it for later this week AND I have a pork tenderloin cooking in the crockpot . I guess I figured if I have all this stuff already cooked , it will be easy to throw together some kind of a meal instead of relying on the fast frozen items . I actually cook most of the time , but for some reason I thought lets make this week as easy as possible . YEAH ! ! I am actually really excited about it . On a side note , I am doing a bit better . I was just so sad by all the things going on and it is really hard to have energy left after spending time with my kids to be on track and happy about it . That sounded wrong , lets see if I can put this into the words I want to . I had so little energy left this week after all the crap that was going on , I really just wanted to put it all into time with my kids instead of expending it else where . They deserve the best of their mom , unfortunately , there wasn 't much left this week . Thanks for letting me ramble . : - ) I am dealing with a lot right now . A lot of tradgedy and sick kids and financial so I am just going to sit back and take it easy . I don 't want to try and stress myself out , b / c that always seems to set me up for failure . Kwim ? If I think I HAVE to do it then I tend to not eat and starve myself and then it is binge time . Stress has been a huge factor in my eating lately and I am trying to decrease the stress . Some of the stress is created by me when I feel like I am trying to do well and then don 't . I am going to keep my head up , put my shoulders back and move on . I have had a few good cries , a lot of ice cream and many hugs over the last couple of weeks . I am hoping it will be enough . : - ) We will see . I thought it was supposed to happen in 3 's . I am at # 5 . . . Something bad happened to a kid I work with . A friend passed away . Another friend 's baby had a seizure ( she is fine ) . Something bad happened to another kid I work with . A family friend was diagnosed with uteren cancer ( pretty end stage ) . What next ? You know what sucks ? I am a stress eater . I am trying really hard , but this is getting ridiculous . How in the heck and I supposed to handle this ? I have no time to exercise b / c I have to work so much right now . Sorry about the whine . I just am stressed out . He was trying to do a good thing , but it is still his fault . I came home last Thursday night and he said we had to get the kids fed b / c a babysitter was coming @ 6 : 30 and we were going out to dinner with some friends for my bday . It was really sweet , and we had a great time , but didn 't eat until after 8 so I was starving and I didn 't know ahead of time so I didn 't save any of my points . Sigh . We went to Joe 's crab shack and I did not make good choices . But it was good . Then I did okay on Friday but we went down to anaheim and spent the weekend at Disneyland . I guess I still have that no calories or fat count in an amusement park thinking . Sigh . I did not weigh in this week . I am scared to do it . I know , I should just face up to it but I really don 't want to . Maybe tomorrow . Sigh . I got some bad news at work today . A dearly loved co - worker and friend passed away this morning . She had pancreatic cancer and had fought it for over a year and a half . I felt horrible b / c she emailed me about 3 months ago to say she wanted to get together , but I was so busy and figured we would catch up after the holidays . I cried and came home and ate ( thank god I have low point comfort food here ) . I picked up my kids and went to McD 's b / c I didn 't feel like cooking . I got myself a lettuce wrap chicken sand meal w / fries . I got out of the car and wouldn 't you know the bag ripped and there went all my tasty fries all over my dirty car port . I was pissed ! Ugg ! I really wanted to eat something yummy and bad for me and I couldn 't . I came in , got the kids started and went back to clean up . I think there were about 5 fries that didn 't hit the ground and , well , I am slightly embarrased to say that I did salvage those . They were tasty , but w / the sandwich , I was actually fine . I didn 't need to eat any more . So , I am assuming my friend was looking down on me telling me to not be so idiotic . She would totally say " come on Julie , you are being silly . I am fine now and it is okay we didn 't get together . Sometimes life just gets in the way , but that is good b / c that means we are living it . You don 't need food to make you feel better , just those beautiful kids of yours . " Seriously , that is something she would say . I know , it sounds cheesy , but it makes me feel better to think it , so that is that . Yep , you heard me right . Free lap band . Does that not stir up all kinds of thoughts of easy weight loss ? So , I had dinner with my good friend last night who is a psychologist and happens to be having a baby on Friday . ( yeah ! ! ! ) Anyway , we were talking about her private practice and how she works with a dr . who is getting ready to do FREE trials on 32 people for the lap band procedure and she was worried b / c she is the psychologist who has to sign off on them and she was unsure of how she would find the time with a newborn . I have to admit I got to dreaming for a minute about it the posibilites of having a free surgery to make losing weight easier . Seriously . I can eat really well , but I definately get hungry and that is when I have problems . Thing is , I know I don 't have enough to lose to be eligible ( although , I am not as far away from it as I would like to be ) and second , I really want to be able to do this in order to show my kids how to be healthy . I know I can . When I choose to be disciplined about it , I really can . I have done it once before and will do it again . But free . . . sigh . . . My friend read my mind and was like " ummm , no way . " She basically laughed at me and said you are too far away from it and really , you can . . . blah , blah , blah . . . all the things that I was thinking . Still . . . Well , we had a nice meal . I did eat too much bread , but that is what I have those darned flex points for . I was hoping to save them for Disneyland this weekend . Oh , didn 't I mention I was going there ? Dh is in the national guard and his base was the site for all the firefighting equipment ( planes ) that came out this summer and there is this great promotion that he gets a free ticket and we can buy up to 5 more for $ 56 . They are 3 day park hoppers so a great deal . I am so excited b / c the kids are getting old enough to be really excited about the characters . Nice tangent there . So , I have to figure out how to eat on my points at Disneyland . More stress but I can pack good snacks and the park is actually getting pretty health friendly . SorryPosted by Seriously . I hate it when I wake up to a growling stomach . I always feel like it is going to make me super hungry all day long , which is usually does . Not sure why I get that either . I have noticed sometimes I get it if I eat close to bed time , but I stopped about 3 hours before I went to sleep last night . I ate all my points yesterday too . I was just hungry when I woke up . I think it might be b / c I was up and down w / my kids last night . They are getting sick again , so w / out a good nights sleep I think my body just feels like it needs the extra energy . I just downed a bottle of water , ate a light english muffin w / PB and am drinking my morning cup of coffee and I am still hungry . I actually finished the muffin about 15 min ago . I am trying to force myself to wait 1 / 2 an hour to see if I am really still hungry . Why is it such a struggle ? Anyhoo , that is where I am right now . I am working on it and hope that I can push it out of my mind and actually concentrate on my work . Got to love it . . . work . . . baah ! So , after my b * * * * fest yesterday you would think I was set up to have a total binge . . . not so ! I kept well w / in my points ( thanks to my mom who cooked dinner and kept it all ww friendly and made angel food cake ) ! Also , the day ended up being not so bad afterall . I guess I just think of 35 as a milestone ( I don 't know why ) and so it should have been " BIG " , kwim ? It was just fine the way it was . I had a volunteer meeting @ the base and they brought me flowers , balloons and fruit ( wtg dh who told them fruit instead of cake ) . Then we went to my mom 's for dinner . I got some picture frames , a target card a movie gift card and a little money . I can not complain . It was a nice day and best of all , I got to spend it with my babies and my dh . I am a lucky woman . : - ) No , not points . . . but wouldn 't that amount be easy to reach ? ? ? No , not weekly points left either . . . That is how old I am today . 35 . My last 5 bdays have kind of sucked , and today is starting off no different . I don 't mind being older , I just want to have a nice , kind of special day and it never works that way for me . DH is in the national guard and happens to be drilling this weekend . He left the house @ 5 : 45am and left me to get up w / the kids . My kids are definately too young to understand that mommy wanted to sleep in . . . sigh . . . We happen to be really poor right now . I had to take a $ 500 a month pay cut last year to change jobs b / c of the hours we had so we have no money for me to do anything . . . to have a special dinner or for them even to get me a small gift . Dh isn 't creative enough to have had the kids make me something either . I know , I should be so grateful for the things I have in my life , but my friends at work all forgot it too and yesterday was just a crappy day . oh well . . . at least I won 't have to worry about over eating . : - ) Sorry to be so bitchy . . . I am just a little down . I am 35 and trying to lose weight after the birth of my 2 beautiful children . I have a little boy and a little girl that are 16 months apart . I am happily married to a wonderfully supportive man who has only encouraged me to be healthy but to live the way I want to !
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Did you notice how I called it a " terminal " and not a " station ? " That 's because it isn 't a station . No trains pass through , it 's just the beginning and end of the line , which makes it a terminus or a terminal . Our tour guide really stressed that point . We started out in the main area pictured above ( but on the floor ) and spent a while there while he gave us some background on the Terminal . For instance , did you know that the whole Terminal used to be covered in black dirt ? I remember the ceiling looking very different when I was a child , but I don 't remember it all being black . In the late - 90s they restored the whole space . Guess what the dirt was ? Not diesel fuel like they first suspected … it was tar from cigarettes ! How awful is that ? But it looks pretty great now . The Terminal actually extends all the way up to 95th St . in Manhattan and has 63 tracks and 45 platforms . There is a secret underground station in the Terminal that 's used for the president to make secret escapes ( and was used regularly for the president in the days when train travel was more common ) . There 's also a secret staircase in the information booth that goes down to the second level . Plus the face of the clock on the top of the information booth is made of opal and is worth several million dollars . Another cool thing is their recycling program . When they started having bins to recycle newspapers it immediately turned into one of the biggest recycling programs in the country . The first year they recycled several tons of newspapers , but then the next year the number went down . And they couldn 't figure out what was causing it . Then they realized that people were going into the recycling bins and taking out the newspapers to read ! The New York Times got wind of this and provided Grand Central with different bins that are too tall and the opening is too small for people to reach into . Crazy , right ? Another cool thing we got to see was the lost and found . They have an 80 % return rate for items which is really impressive ( obviously ) . They catalog everything with when it was found , what train it was on , etc . and they keep most items for 90 days before selling them . Stuff like jewelry or photo albums are never sold , they 're kept forever . The guide actually told us people coming to claim jewelry 15 years later is really common . I guess grandkids will be looking at old pictures with their grandmother and notice a ring or something and ask what happened to it and the grandmother will say she lost it in the City and never looked for it and then the grandkids will go back and track it down . Then we went to a few places that are top secret and I can 't share online . Which is a shame because they were really , really cool . And I conquered my fear of heights . I knew a little bit about Grand Central prior to the tour ( Jackie Kennedy being instrumental in saving it , etc . ) , but I learned so many interesting things . It was a VIP tour , but they also have audio tours and if you 're in NYC I would suggest doing those , it 's such an amazing place . Growing up on Long Island I always came and left NYC through Penn Station which is an absolute hell hole . They say that it was once more grand and beautiful than Grand Central but then it was torn down in the early - 1960s to build Madison Square Garden and office buildings . Seriously , 1960s New Yorkers ? What were you thinking ? First up we stopped at Phil 's Cheesesteaks which claimed to be authentic Philly cheesesteaks . I 've never had an authentic Philly cheesesteak , but I thought this was pretty damn good . This was the provolone and mushroom one . We also tried the Wit Whiz which was good , but I liked this one better . Ultimately they won for rookie of the year , which I was more than ok with . My problem this year was my beer consumption . I had three of these boys and that was just way too much heavy beer . I haven 't made that mistake at the Vendy 's in a while ( and usually I 'm not a big drinker ) , I don 't know what got into me . Next were Melt ice cream sandwiches . These were one of my favorite things that we tried . We had the regular chocolate chip cookie with vanilla ice cream , a chocolate cookie with rum chocolate malt ice cream , and red velvet with cream cheese ice cream . The chocolate one was fantastic and the cream cheese ice cream was really different and really good . And they won for best dessert ! Next came a vegan truck . The savory dishes didn 't taste bad , but they were so heavy . And the desserts kind of tasted bad and were so heavy . I don 't understand how they won the people 's choice award . Next were these tacos which ended up winning the Vendy Cup ( the third Red Hook vendor in five years to win ) . They were pork , goat , and carne asada . I thought the carne asada was great , but they were all pretty good . Next were these New Orleans - style sno - balls . I had the king cake , which was great , and we also tried the tiger 's blood and the blackberry . Plus they were serving those delicious dill and ranch oyster crackers I loved as a kid . Next was Uncle Gussy 's Greek food . This guy was really funny and the food was good , but it didn 't really distinguish itself from the other similar food . The french fries were pretty great . More Halal food . I felt bad for this guy because no one was waiting on line for his food , but it wasn 't very good . The falafel had a very odd consistency and the Halal food from the heroic vendor ( who was at the front so probably where most people stopped first ) blew this stuff out of the water . I guess I didn 't get a picture of this Indian food ? It was good . The chicken roti was definitely better . I also liked that they had hand sanitizer . And finally there was the awards ceremony . I noted who won above . The only bad thing about the awards cermony was the MC , he was so annoying . He dragged everything out and made lots of stupid jokes . I kept yelling for him to get on with it . This was my fifth year attending the Vendy 's . I really love the event . I 've watched it grow so much , the first year I went there were only five finalists and then three dessert people . It was also like half the price it is now . It 's great how much it 's grown , but it 's a daunting event . There is a lot of food ( obviously ) and a lot of pressure to try everything . If you go to the NY one , or the ones that have started up in cities like Philly and LA , I recommend going with people you 're comfortable sharing food with . We just one plate between the three of us I was with and all took pretty much one or two bites of everything . I was still really full , but I didn 't feel sick and it was manageable . I don 't feel so great today , but I think that has to do more with the beer . 2 Comments » My friend Laura and I were on our way home from kickboxing yesterday morning when we encountered what might be described as a little bit of water . Or a lot of water . There were a long line of buses when we got to the stop , so we got on the one with the most people and waited for it to leave . We waited a little while when a little girl got on talking about how much water was in the street . I asked her where and she pointed and I asked her if you could walk through it and she said no . So Laura and I went to investigate . And that little girl was very right . When we first got to the flooded area there was just the white Mercedes stuck . Then that van drove in to try to pump water out of the store it 's park in front of . And , as you can see in the picture above , some moron in an SUV most likely ended up ruining their brakes / engine thinking they could drive through . An SUV doesn 't make you invincible , people . Eventually a tow truck came to get the car out of the water . He towed the people into a nearby parking lot and the passenger immediately got out and lit up a cigarette . # klassy The fire trucks showed up towards the end of the ordeal . Along with the NYC Department of Environmental Protection . The area where this flooded is right next to the Gowanus Canal , which is a Superfund site . # comforting In my mind all of those things are things are for a common good . Banning smoking makes life harder for smokers , but makes life so much better for everyone who doesn 't smoke ( aka those who aren 't deciding to kill ourselves ) . Banning trans fats doesn 't seem to affect anyone except the restaurants who are making the purchases ; can anyone tell the difference ? And the restaurant grades and calorie counts are a way to encourage restaurants to follow proper health standards and empower restaurant - goers to make their own choices . But the soda ban is different in my mind . Yes , obesity is a huge problem in our society and has consequences for those who aren 't obese ( higher health premiums , fewer seats on the subway ) , but , in my mind , if you want to drink 64oz of soda , you should be able to . I 'm all for encouraging people to make healthier choices , but ultimately I don 't think the government should be prohibiting us from making choices that have no ill effect on other people ( but this is a fine line and I 'm sure I 'm contradicting myself here ) . Why not just ban sales to children ? Obesity is a huge problem for children and I 'm sure sugary drinks are a big cause of that obesity . Why not ban sales of sugary drinks to people under 18 years old ? The NYT article mentions how soda is not sold in many schools and I wonder , why was soda ever sold in schools ? ( There was a soda machine in my high school but you couldn 't use it until after school hours . ) Not only for health reasons , but what teacher wants a kid in their class who 's hopped up on sugar and caffeine ? Why isn 't diet soda included ? If we 're really concerned about health why not ban large diet sodas , too ? I get that they 're not a direct cause of obesity ( although I believe they 're an indirect cause ) , but all those fake sugars ( meaning chemicals like aspartame , not high fructose corn syrup which is also really a fake sugar ) aren 't healthy either . I have two solutions ( I 'm sure Mayor Bloomberg will greatly appreciate my opinion … ) . First , why not tax soda like we tax cigarettes ? I know this has been proposed and shot down before , but I 'm a big fan of this idea . Although , I suppose by making people buy another 16oz soda to get to their regular 32oz soda it is a tax of sorts because it 's greatly increasing the price . But if a 16oz soda costs $ 5 and a 32oz soda costs $ 8 people will be discouraged from consuming a large amount of soda . Second , why not force manufactures to make the calorie count on the bottle huge ? I know it 's already bigger than it once was and it now includes calorie information for the whole bottle , not just serving size , but it 's still pretty easy to ignore . Or why not include how many sugar cubes are in each soda ? That image of the sugar cubes in a 64oz drink is terrifying . And I think it 's insane not to include bodegas . They 're only included , acording to the NYT , if they 're " food service establishments " meaning they get a letter grade from the city . I 've been trying to picture most of the bodegas that I go into and I don 't think the majority have a letter grade on them . I would imagine those are where a lot of people buy sugary drinks . This was the first time I 've been to CitiField and I thought it was nice . Certainly nicer than Shea Stadium . Maria bought these $ 25 tickets that came with a burger / veggie burger , fries , and a medium soda . I thought that was a great deal . The game was tied early , then the Mets took the lead , then it was tied again , then at the end the Mets completely fell apart and the Phillies scored 7 runs in one inning . The Mets tried to rally during the bottom of the 9th ( they scored 3 runs ) but it was not enough ! Still a fun night though . And it was so cheap I need to take advantage more often . I even had a relatively quick trip home , door to door I was home in about an hour and fifteen minutes which isn 't bad considering I had to get out of the stadium , take 2 trains through 3 boroughs , and walk home ( about 3 / 4 of a mile ) ! 3 Comments » I 'm going to start this post by saying anyone who knows me knows that I hate the following things : the heat , people , crowds of people , people encroaching on my own personal space , waiting , and port - a - potties . This didn 't make me feel particularly optimistic about attending The Great Googa Mooga today . I knew a few people that went yesterday and they all left after about half an hour because it was so crowded and awful . It was a free event , you just had to quickly get tickets online before they were snatched up . I missed them the first time but managed to get them the second time . You could also buy $ 250 tickets which included food , drink , and a access to a few extra things . Our first stop was the ID check and beverage tent . My friends who went yesterday said this was the worst part since you had to wait on one line to get a bracelet saying you 're over 21 and a separate line to actually buy the alcohol . I 'd say we waited less than five minutes for our bracelets and there was no line for the actual booze . We checked out all the food stands and I decided I wanted a burger from The Spotted Pig ( which was in the " Hamburger Experience , " could there be anything better ? ) . The line was pretty long , maybe 20 people ahead of me , but we waited 10 minutes tops . It was supposed to be $ 12 for a burger with roquefort and fries , but they weren 't making fries so just the burger was $ 10 , which I thought was a great deal . The whole reason I got Sunday tickets ( the event was Saturday and Sunday and there were separate tickets for each day ) was because I wanted to hear Charles Bradley . I LOVE him and I was so happy I got to see him . Plus he opened with my favorite song ( above ) ! I got a sample of the Blind Faith IPA from Magic Hat , again , it was kind of coffee - tasting . Also , the way you got beer and wine was one of my few dislikes about the event . The sample was $ 3 , but you had to pay $ 2 to get the glass , that you then reused . I guess if you were drinking a lot it would be worth it , but it was just a cheap , plastic glass . My friend went to get us soda from Brooklyn Soda Works and she got me the apple ginger . I was a little like WTF ? But it grew on me . It was actually really refreshing and not sweet at all . Then we waited for Hall and Oates to come on ! As you can tell it was getting more crowded , but I never felt overwhelmed or nervous . It was a very happy , relaxed crowd . I took another walk around while we were waiting for Hall and Oates . This was the General Store where you could buy Googa Mooga merch . I didn 't look that closely . They opened with Maneater , played about a million songs I 'd never heard , played She 's Gone which I couldn 't even recognize , and then were done . For the encore they played Rich Girl ( finally ! ) and the song above , which obviously I know but I 'm not sure of the name . Then we left , as we were leaving they introduced some key people who organized the event , and then played Your Kiss . Maybe they played another song , but we were out of hearing range by then . I was disappointed with Hall and Oates , I thought the three other performers were much better . There are some things I could be improved : the line for beer / wine / soda / water was the same line . My friend just wanted water and had to wait in the long line with people who wanted beer and wine . There was no cell reception the entire time , I get that that can 't really be controlled , but still , it sucked . A place to refill your water bottle would also be nice , you could bring a bottle in and there was one water fountain ( that 's normally in the park ) , but otherwise you were out of luck ( and I imagine most people didn 't know the water fountain was there , it 's just part of my running route so I knew ) . And finally , the playing $ 2 for a cheap plastic glass to try beer and wine from the respective tents sucked . But otherwise I really have no complaints . I think the fact that we got there early really helped ( although my roommate showed up around 2pm and she also loved her experience ) . I also think you have to be smart about it , the Luke 's Lobster line was out of control , so if you don 't want to wait on line for an hour plus , just eat something else . Also , I wouldn 't go hungry . And if you 're from NYC , all the places that were there are based in NYC so you can go to them at any time , so don 't get all caught up in one thing . And remember , you 're outside at a food and music festival , do you really need to get back to your blanket / table that quickly ? Relax ! Have fun ! I never return beauty products but this stuff was just awful . I wanted it to be like John Frieda 's Beach Blonde spray from like 1999 . Anyone else remember that stuff ? John Frieda 's stuff was the real deal , I looked totally beachy . The Bumble and Bumble one was BS . Anyway , I couldn 't find my receipt , but I figured they could just look it up with my credit card . Well , the woman told me she could look it up with my credit card , but that they couldn 't put the money back on my credit card , that I 'd just get store credit . So I said I 'd look for my receipt at home . And I found it so I 'll go back to Sephora tomorrow . Welcome ! I 'm a 27 year old who lives in NYC and works in publishing . After struggling with health and fitness for years , I feel I 've finally found a way to live my life to its fullest . Read about my adventures in NYC and everywhere else , with a focus on trying to eat healthy and exercise .
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We were so hot today that we stopped , just twenty miles before Palatka . Sometimes it is just too hot . My rejuvenation drink of choice , when I am OUT , is a chocolate milk . This little store did not have chocolate milk , though there WERE cases and cases of beer . A case of beer is too hard to drink on a bike . ONE beer is not a good idea . And the only gatorade they had was purple . It tasted , well , purple . Not grape . The best part about the stop was that the clerk was wowed by us . " You 're going WHERE ? " " You started in San DIEGO ? ? ? ! ! ! " She was a relative youngster . Her stare went from one of us to another of us to another of us . We were mostly just thirsty and hot and we all had to pee but we answered her questions , in between taking turns to pee ( " never pass up a flush toilet " is a truism of a ride with a bunch of women ) and allowed her to take our picture . It IS an amazing thing . We have ridden our bicycles across the whole bloody , friggin ' United States of America for cryin ' out loud ! Um . Today was our last long ride . It was not easy . We had a head wind . Connie ran out of energy . All of our crotches are sore . Jan 's legs are tired . I am tired . We 're TIRED . But we 're also thrilled . I am thrilled . This is a huge accomplishment . Even if I missed nine miles after I crashed my bike . And even if I missed 23 miles trying to avoid being flung into Oz like Dorothy on tornado day in Lafayette . Even so , this is a huge deal . Whatever conclusions I ultimately draw over the course of the rest of my life , this has been a gigantic thing to do . Tomorrow we ride into St . Augustine . We have been invited to wear our group jerseys but I am going to wear the one that was made for me for this ride , the one with my shop 's name across the front and the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance on one sleeve and the Mission Hospital logo on the other . It has the logo for Women Chefs and Restaurateurs and for Jubilee , my spiritual community . It has the name of the guy who made the jersey . And it also says " Don 't Postpone Joy " and , for now , most importantly , " Posted by We 're in High Springs . Surrounded by a whole bunch of other Springs . All crystal clear . All blue . All world famous . Who knew ? I 'm in a cafe and the walls are covered with photographs of people diving in these beautiful waters . We went to one , the one shown here , and yes , it was clear and lovely . But we 're now focused on the end . I 'm thinking about home . I 'm wondering about this ride . I 'm wondering about the now what part . I 'm wondering if anyone with ovarian cancer is helped by this thing . My sister wrote and said a friend of hers just died of ovarian cancer . This kind of thing rips me apart . I ride , wonder . Does it make any difference ? Is it possible to do something like ride my bike and WISH that it matters ? Does it ? Sitting here in this bar in High Springs I wonder . So I don 't have a whole lot to say today . I just wonder . Two more days of riding . One short day . One long day . Then a day of walking around St . Augustine . Then a day of driving home . I did not know today would have these springs . I do not know what is going to appear tomorrow . I do not know what will happen in St . Augustine . I do not know how the drive will be . I do not know what will happen when I get home . I do not know anything . Especially today . And yes , I would like to tell this story to Ellen . My friend Dara , who helps with this blog sometimes , especially when it comes to adding videos and things like that , is the one who put up the Ellen video and the plea to you all to forward it to Ellen . It seems important to me . But I don 't know if it is . Maybe it would help people stop dying . Maybe . Okay - it is still a beautiful day here in High Springs . Come here if you want to see some beautiful water . And come to The Great Outdoors for lunch . The food is very good . Tomorrow I ride some more . Here is a story about Laurey 's ride as well as a video . Help Laurey and tweet the link for this video to get Laurey on The Ellen Show . Come on , I know you have it in you . . . come on you techno whizzes - give us some help . Click HERE for the story . Posted by My legs . Yes indeedy . We spent our rest day at Wakulla Springs . Home to the largest spring in the United States and maybe the fourth largest in the world , the place has a flow of some 400 , 000 gallons PER MINUTE ! Mik , the guide from the first half of our trip said to jump for her . Ah me . If we hadn 't , she 'd never have know . BUT I am not one to let an invitation like that go unmet so . . . The funny thing about the place is that it hasn 't changed much since it was built . Irregular cell phone service . No internet service . Funny old rooms , an old - fashioned menu , and boats that have been offering rides up and down the Wakulla River since Mr . Ball created the place . Thank you Mr . Ball ! ( Makes me especially grateful to anyone with money enough to buy up land and save it for future generations . This is a very good thing to do . We who follow behind thank you . ) The birds and animals are very accustomed to these tour boats and so do not fly away or retreat . This means you can get close enough to a pair of nesting Great White Egrets to see the fluff balls in the next - the babies . And the plentiful alligators blink and move just a little bit when the boat approaches . SO much better than any zoo . It is SO wonderful to see these beings in their home , their real home . And then , to ride outside the park where it immediately becomes filled with litter and roaring cars - well , it brings tears to my heart . We continue to ride across Florida . Three more days . Three . Today 's ride was flat and straight . I don 't think we turned except to get on the main road and , just now , to get off it . I 'm talking STRAIGHT . The challenge becomes how to ride comfortably when there is no apparent reason to shift . Same gear . No turning . No hills . No variety . But , as with all of these sorts of days , beauty resides just one tiny smidgen under the seemingly monotony . Iris live in the Cyprus Bogs . The foliage , if you look , is incredibly varied - palmetto , Cyprus , oaks , Spanish moss and many , many other things . Pines poke up , ferns fill in the scrub . Take a breath , Posted by This is my new favorite activity . I love tinkering , tweaking , adjusting . I have gone from knowing very little about this machine , to feeling quite competent . As I told you , the other day I had to get a major adjustment , a whole new derailleur cable . This was residue from my bike crash back in Navasota . Well , the bike mechanic told me that the cable would stretch in a few days and that I would need to get it fixed because it would cease to shift smoothly . We 're not near a bike shop in this run of the trip , so I , getting a hint of what to do from one of the guides , fixed it myself ! Go me ! And then Jan , today , was having some trouble with HER derailleur and I fixed IT too ! ( She currently thinks I 'm a mechanical wizard , which is a stretch , but it is true that she needed help , I gave it to her , and my help fixed her problem . Go me ! ( I wouldn 't normally say this so much , but it is a real delight to have the confidence to plunge in and fix little problems . ) After Jan gushed to me , my whole day changed today . Before that I was just , well , riding , wondering what might pop up to catch my interest . I was enjoying the scenery , the Cypress Bogs ( thanks for telling me about them ) and humming songs ( thanks for all the Florida song hints . ) I was , as usual , musing about how and if my life has changed as a result of this ride . And then Jan had that problem and I fixed it and she thanked me . It felt so good . So good . So simple and good . Sometimes something doesn 't have to be complicated to make a difference . A simple thank you made a huge difference to me today . A simple feeling of competence made a huge difference to me today . Simple stuff . Simple lessons . Tomorrow we ride a short distance to a place that has clear waters in a natural spring . I have never been there before but the name , Wakulla Springs , is alluring . We ride in , spend a whole day there , and ride out . I 'll tell you as much as I can . I am meeting some Chamber of Commerce people so I 'll get the lowdown and , probably , will tell you to come visit too . Heck , I love water and Posted by Connie wears red . Jan wears tank tops these days . We switch off . Me first . Connie first . Jan first . Me first . Connie first . Jan first . 5 mile turns today . Less on a harder day . Today wasn 't really hard so longer turns worked just fine . Today we rode 93 miles . No wind . Smooth roads . A relative breeze . We were on Route 90 for most of the day and our cue sheet said , pretty much , " get on route 90 . Ride 90 miles . Get off . Turn right . Go to the Hampton Inn . " ( not exactly but almost . ) Today we had slightly more than 6 hours of actual riding time . We were out for longer than that , but every time we stop , the little bike computer stops . We start . It starts . Pretty cool . At the end of the ride you push a button and it tells you how long you 've been riding . Fancy computers also tell your average speed , fastest speed , elevation gain - fancy stuff . Mine is a simple one . How far did you go ? How long did it take . You want the average ? Do the math . It did get hot after a bit , which sent us into convenience stores . We troop in , head for the ice machine , fill up , head for the ladies ' room , go to the drink area , load up with drinks , and finish off at the ice cream freezer . We 're all aware that we need to start tapering off pretty soon . We simply cannot go home and eat like this unless we 're spending the entire day riding . At our second convenience store stop of the day we created the usual scene . We don 't really MEAN to , it just happens . I mean , most convenience store shoppers are not used to three middle aged women biking around . And we 're not exactly shy and retiring . Um , no . It doesn 't take much to set one of us off and then the three of us get going and that 's about it . Another scene . Today , after the scene at the cash register , we ended up sitting with a Deputy Sherriff who was trying to eat his lunch of chicken and macaroni and cheese . I 'm not quite sure how it happened but somehow there we all were , sitting with him in his booth , poor fellow , all of us talking at the same time . The people at the booth behind him were shaking thePosted by This is yesterday 's picture , but you probably don 't mind . Connie ( near the road ) , me , Jan . Jan and Connie and I were riding yesterday and when we came to this sign Jan started screaming and yelling and pounding her fists into the air . I , for one , have been excited every time we cross a state line , but this one really got her . Connie and I were happy , don 't get me wrong but Jan was dancing with glee . There we were , the three of us , on a pretty busy highway . And by now we want pictures with all of us in them but there were no other riders around . Hmm . . . I moved into the spot under the sign , Jan followed and so did Connie ( I don 't know what we were all thinking ) but just then Janet Bee , the day 's SAG driver , pulled up . Perfect ! A photographer ! She snapped pictures for all of us . We snapped some of her . And then she went off to take care of her charges and we kept riding . Today we left the coast and rode into the interior of the panhandle . A mere speck of a ride . 56 miles . Easy schmeezy . We 're in Crestview now . We stopped for lunch at a little independent restaurant here and asked the waitress what we should see that was cute . She said , " I don 't know , let me ask in the kitchen . " ( She had just told us she 's lived here for 15 years so I thought that was a curious answer . ) But she came back saying , " If you 're looking for cute , the chef says to come into the kitchen ! " So I did . Turns out Michael ( of Michael 's ) was a sweet fellow and that began a bantering , sharing , fun little conversation about who we were and why we are doing this funny thing . Most impressed were the youngsters waiting on tables . Our group IS impressive , even if we show up in small groups . 42 - 70 years old . All women . Riding across the United States . Sheesh . Who WOULDN ' T be impressed ? Riding through back country , red clay , thick pines , lush ferns today gave me plenty of time to review . Time to think . My bike worked fine , odometer kept track . New derailleur cable held up . Wandering around in my thoughts . What will I do when I get back ? How will I adjust to being Posted by Made it . Rode my bicycle all the way to Florida . FLORIDA ! Chased by sharks and massacred by ferry - hovering mosquitoes , we managed to escape from the allure of Dauphin Island and the Alabama coast early this morning . It is REALLY beautiful here ( there . ) We crossed into Florida at mile 27 , I think . WHAT a change . Actually , I messed up my odometer yesterday by trying to reset it . BIG mistake . It was saying we were going 6 miles an hour and , when Connie 's said we had ridden for 20 miles , mine was saying we 'd gone 5 . Ugh . I rely on the thing because our ride cue sheets are all based on mileage . And Connie relies on ME so much that she never even consults her cue sheet ( which is fine with me , I like paying attention in this way . ) Also , I have been having some trouble with my derailler since my arm warmer crash . It has been getting worse and worse and today I could only ride in a few gears without having the unpleasant grinding noise of my chain rubbing against my front derailleur . I got myself into quite a snit about the two things . I KNEW we were getting to bike shop - at mile 55 - but could NOT let the stupid annoyance about the grinding and the odometer go . I made my threesome stop twice and I tried to fix it but it just wasn 't having any of it . We DID stop for a fine lunch of fried oysters and shrimp at mile 41 and I called home ( go Liberty Bikes ! ) and Ben told me how to fix it . Whew ! And then 14 miles later , we DID get to the bike shop and the mechanic removed my old , almost - completely - frayed cable , replaced it , and sent me on my way . 10 minutes - MAX . $ 18 . 00 . Wow ! And then , I got to be a momentary celebrity . The Asheville paper is doing a story on me and the ride and the writer lives here . We met yesterday but the photographer caught up with us this afternoon as we rode into Pensacola . What a riot ! ! ! He sat in the back of a truck while his driver navigated . He snapped a WHOLE lot of photographs . A LOT . And he had me ride way back and up close and next to the truck and he snapped and snapped and snapped and it was a tPosted by , I took advantage of our day off to redo my toes . They were looking a little shabby and , well , we 're in the homestretch now and I 'll need to be showing my toes off a bit more SO I got some toenail polish remover from Connie and reapplied the beauty . I met six hilarious folks from Kentucky who are here on Dauphin Island for a vacation . We had a nice visit on the day we all got here and so , by yesterday , we were buddies . A reporter from Pensacola came to meet up with me and the six of them heckled in the distance , politely . No need to take any of this too seriously , right ? After the reporter left the six brought me beer and wild drinks they had concocted in their condominium blender . And after that it seemed fine for me to reveal my toes and borrow Sharon 's new , perfectly matched flip flops . I mean - PERFECT ! Darvin and Freida and Helen and Mike and Bob . Very nice people . Very . Teal , as you must know by now , it the ovarian cancer color . Don 't you think this would be a fine poster ? I do ! Today we 're off , out of Alabama , over Mobile Bay on a ferry , and on to Florida . FLORIDA y ' all ! Ten more days . TEN . Pensacola . Crestview . Quincy . Wakulla Springs . Perry . High Springs . Palatka . St . Augustine . Asheville . Some more biking . Some more thinking . And then home , where this journey started and , now , where it will really , truly - begin . I 'll tell you some more later on today . Laurey We 're on the Gulf ! Rode into Alabama earlier this morning and wasted no time getting right to the Shrimp ! We 're now on Dauphin Island , the first place that migrating birds reach when they fly north from South America . Bird watching is a big deal here . The gang is planning an early morning excursion tomorrow . I 'll see . I might join in or I might sleep in . Our accommodations are pretty swank . We 're at The Dauphin Island Beach Club . I have been assigned a King Sized bed and it turns out to be the Master Suite . Gigantic bathroom , huge bed , private entrance to the pool and really easy access to the beach . I can look out the window ( the huge window ) in my room and see dunes and then , just beyond , the Gulf . Right now the waves are big , pounding and roaring . There are storms around and , though we missed riding in the rain ( I TOLD them so ) , the recent atmospheric upset has caused the waters to be pretty active . I might try body surfing . Or beach walking . Or both . Riding today was a breeze . 42 miles miles is really nothing . Just enough to get the muscles moving and the blood flowing . Just enough to get a little further East on this trip , this constant movement East . East . East . Here we go . Still . An interesting thing about endurance is that it takes a lot to keep it up . Today everyone seemed really cranky . We 've now been together enough that the politeness has left . People spout out whatever they think . The filters are gone . And the sore parts that some people have are flaring up to be worse than annoyances . Some people are limping . Ice packs are used in abundance . When we crested the last peak it seemed like the hardest part was done . I remember going over Emory Pass and thinking , " well it 's all downhill now . " Not so . Endurance means sticking with it . Even now . Even now when the mileage is not daunting and and the terrain is , actually , to some , monotonous . This , really , is the hard part . This sticking to the plan is tricky . CAN I find beauty in this landscape ? CAN I be nice when I feel annoyed ? CAN I rise above the discomfort ? Posted by Today was another easy one . And maybe I am getting used to this , or maybe it 's the short distance ( 68 miles ) and the flatness ( very flat ) and today 's relatively smooth roads ( mostly " BUTTER ! ! ! " ) , but I 'm just not ravenously hungry like I was at the beginning . Still , the sight of the SAG vehicle makes all of us cavort and chortle and exclaim . " SAG ! " We are still able to eat anything we want : doritos , orange wedges , fig newtons , apple slices , chocolate milk , and potato chips - not to mention the last bite of yesterday 's biker bar and the remains of yesterday 's peanut butter and raisin sandwich . I actually ate that exact snack today . When energy sags , put more stuff in . It works . Today 's ride was into the wind but it seemed just fine . I discovered that if you take it easy , the wind is less oppressive . I 've been trying to figure this out . One might think that riding harder would mean that you get done earlier , hence the day is over faster , hence that 's a good thing . Turns out not to be so - at least for me . Today my foursome turned into a threesome . Jan , Connie and I rode together , agreeing to take it a bit easier . Jan was feeling sluggish today . Connie was chipper , happy to have had her massage yesterday ( given BY Jan , not TO Jan - sorry about the lack of good editing in yesterday 's note ) . I was , well , feeling just fine . Threats of rain ( in the various internet forecasts ) turned out to be just threats , which I had decided not to pay attention to anyway . I sniffed the air this morning and decided to leave my rain jacket in the SAG vehicle - just in case . ( Remember , I go with the 80 % chance of NO rain ) . And , indeed , there was no rain . No worries . It did get windy toward the end of the ride but we slowed down and I tried to just let go and not fight it . It worked ! Less effort , less stress , much more comfort , much less exhaustion . We rolled in about 1 / 2 hour behind the front runners who we found in the lobby , waiting to check in . Hmmm . . . . glad we didn 't rush . We are much closer to the Gulf now . As usual we are in a motel nearPosted by Nothing snazzy about today . 60 miles . Green , green , green . More green . Water , water , water . More water . Rough roads . Rough roads . More rough roads . And then - BUTTER ! ( smooth roads ) . We were teased . Rough roads were punctuated by smooth so we came up with a new road nomenclature . " Pat of butter " ( a tiny section of smoothness ) " Stick of butter " ( 1 / 4 mile or so of smoothness ) " Pound of butter " ( a longer stretch ) " Case of butter ! ! ! " ( can 't see the end of the smooth section ) This is what we do on a day of medium length and marginal difficulty . 60 miles is now nothing . Hardly worth a note . Today 's forecast suggested wind and rain , but not until later in the afternoon . 20 % chance of rain , the report warned . To me , that meant 80 % chance of no rain . Winds might get to 20 mph . Or they might not . It didn 't rain . The wind was never a problem . Lessons learned for later . Why worry ? It might NOT do the thing that scares you . Four of us started out together . Jan was worried about dogs . Sherry was worried about the rain . Connie was tired . I , well , I wasn 't worried or tired . When we encountered dogs Jan learned how to use her whistle - very effectively , it turns out - and she is not worried about dogs anymore . Sherry took off , hoping to beat the rain . Connie poked along with me and Jan is going to have a massage later and that will make her feel better . At lunch after today 's ride Sherry was talking about tomorrow 's forecast already and is going to try to get going early and to ride really fast to try to beat the rain - again . Not me . I 'll take what comes . Makes it that much more interesting . I mean , if it was all a breeze , well , where 's the texture in that ? I 'll take the bumps and the rain and , yes , even the wind . If it rains I 'll get wet . Or I 'll have another story to tell . Or it will be a chance to think about how I 'm on my bike and not in a hospital . It 'll all be fine . It is right now , after all . Okey doke . I 'll jot a note tomorrow from Pascagoula , Mississippi . ( Aren 't these names fun ? ) I rode by myself today . A first . A good thing to do . I like riding with the other three . But today we passed a Wildlife Park and I wanted to go in . The others didn 't . So we parted . As it turned out , the Wildlife Park 's tours were completely booked . Masses of school children filled every possible seat in the cars and so the three of us who had wanted to try to get a better look at the animals were foiled . From a distance it was possible to see Llamas and Emus and Camels and odd deer of the African Veldt variety . ( Elands , Dik Diks , exotic things , all . ) And it was also possible to see the tractor - pulled cars loaded with screaming kids all tossing pellets of exotic animal feed at the Reindeer and the Antelopes and the Bison . I 'm glad the tour was full . By the time the three of us who were trying to get on a tour were escorted out of the park ( the animals all run free and the people are all confined to cars - and bicycles are not allowed unless tucked into a car or truck ) the other three I usually ride with had moved on . Which left me riding with Nancy and Carol for a short time , but I ride faster than they do so I ended up passing them and riding on alone . The countryside is beautiful here today . It 's very green . They had rain recently , probably on that tornado day . All the rivers are above their banks , the water , swirls of mud and sticks . Leaves are fully out now and the roads , country lanes for the most part , were lined with buttercups and clover and verbena and some odd little white thing that I 've never seen before . And riding alone was a new experience . No one to rely on for the turns . No one to share the lead . No one to rest behind . No one , for that matter , to inconvenience . No one cared if I stopped to put on my sweater or stopped to take it off . I did both a few times just for the novelty of it . And , no surprise , there was no one to exclaim to , to sing to , to chortle with , to become annoyed by . No one to get to share the day with . No one to have to share it with either . This , as I said , is our last day in LouisianaPosted by Oh yesterday was a fine one . A fine one indeed . I had company and St . Francisville was the perfect host spot . We stayed in an old b + b ( the norm in this lovely little town ) , walked around v - e - r - y s - l - o - w - l - y , drank a cup of coffee that lasted for an hour or so , walked a little bit more , visited with biker gals we saw , all of whom were walking at our pace or riding around , slowly . Of of the many highlights of the day was lunch . Lunch at an Exxon station . My first experience of this sort . But we wanted to eat some crawfish and this , we were told , was the place to do so . We ordered a pound and the fellow tossed them into a paper bag which he nested in a plastic bag . " These take sauce ? " I asked . " 's on it already , " he said . Annie went and got us a couple of Coronas and we sat at the only table on that side of the Exxon Station and opened up our bag . Annie had a swiss army knife so that took care of the beers . " Know how to eat those ? " a cowboy - looking guy drawled . I knew but it seemed like a good conversation so I suggested he show us , and anyway , Annie had never had them and there 's nothing like advice from someone who is offering it . " Break off the tail , " he demonstrated , " take off this top shell , grab the meat and eat it . And then you suck the head . " Okay . That , in a few words , was lunch . Extraordinarily delicious . Very fun . And highly entertaining too . The heads are particularly flavorful . By the way . Turns out the cowboy IS a cowboy , a performer from Oklahoma who was in town to perform at the Angola Prison Rodeo . He has trained longhorns that jump up on a flatbed truck . Sort of like the Royal Lippizaner Stallions . But a little bit different . More walking . Visit to the place where Audobon painted some pictures . He was only there for 3 months but did 80 paintings . Whewf ! We sat in the barnyard and watched ducks run around . Never went into the mansion . It was pretty nice outside and neither of us was interested in furniture . Dinner , out , was good too . Gumbo , Grilled Peaches , Crawfish Etouffee . Yum . Today , just now , I rode 88 milPosted by I 'm in St . Francisville , Louisiana . Sorry about not writing last night . Long day . Lots of miles , beautiful , but plentiful . Now I 'm on vacation for a day . This will be short because there are things to do , boudin and crawfish to sample , antebellum mansions to visit , including the one where Audobon painted many of his Birds of America series . Here I am crossing the Mississippi . Life is good . I 'll be in touch tomorrow . Laissez les bons temps rouler ! Nope . I did not ride all the miles today . Connie and I started out at 7 : 30 . Skies were grey . Ominous looking . Winds were strong . And they got stronger . We rode . We rode a lot . And the winds got stronger and stronger . The ride , 83 miles , at one point seemed impossible to me . The wind was so strong that we were pedaling in place . It was not fun . It seemed grueling . And we kept it up . Connie boosted me . I , her . Sherry had left much earlier , wanting to skip ahead of the storms . Connie and I ate breakfast and then left . And the winds got stronger as we went . We made it to mile 43 and I thought we had it . We had managed to figure it out , to find ways to pedal hard during the blasts , to work with the wind when we could . We made it to mile 56 and I thought we had it . Less than 30 to go . Completely doable . But we stopped for a break and I noticed the tv with a weather warning . A Tornado warning . And that was it . I do not want to be picked up by a tornado . I don 't know how these things work , but I do know that I did not want to experience my first one on my bicycle . So we decided to stop . And then we helped collect all the other folks who were still out on the road . By that time the skies were filled with lightening and thunder and the winds were roaring and I was glad to be in the van even though it meant we did not ride all the miles today . 20 miles missed . But , on the other hand , we 're alive . Not flying somewhere out of control . Sherry made it and so did two others . Connie and I missed the 20 miles . But not really . I 'll be in touch tomorrow . ( Oh , this picture is of me and Ann , one of the riders / SAG drivers . She gave me some road - find beads . And they match my teal toenails . NICE ! ) Well , Louisiana did not have a " Welcome to Louisiana " sign and , when we first rode into Texas THEY didn 't have a sign either . So , um , this is today 's Goodbye to Texas snap . And the photo of the road sign of Louisiana with a number of it ( the route ) didn 't seem very dramatic , so here you go . We are not in Texas any more . And the introduction to LA hasn 't exactly been stellar , but a day is a day and that 's what happens . Texas , lord love it , finished itself out with some smooth roads , not the dreaded Chip Seal . We all scream " BUTTER ! ! ! " when we leave chip seal and start riding on smooth concrete . And of course , today 's Texas finale was almost ALL smooth as butter concrete . AND someone had cleaned all the roadsides in Texas and there was no litter and all the drivers were nice and , well , I almost hated to leave . And then , immediately , Louisiana 's roads were awful . Chunky , sloppy , littered . Yuck . But , what can you do . A day is a day and a road is a road and , as we see , that 's what happens . So it goes . So it goes . We ARE in Bayou country now . We 've seen our first mangrove swamp . Our first airboat . Our first pile of mud that looks like someone has been making little sand castles - and they , as it turns out , are breathing holes for crawfish . Who knew ? We have now ridden over the first round of bridges . We 've smelled the first salty air , felt the first humidity . More firsts await . I 've stopped trying to predict any of this . No worrying about rain or lightening or things that are , truly , out of my hands . My job , my choice right now , is to get up , get on my bike , and ride . Every day . As many miles as I can . I think about those who can 't and that makes me forget about the multiple bruises I now sport . I think , today , about Shayla , a little brave girl at Jubilee . She 's battling neuroblastoma , whatever the heck that is . She 's four . How can that be possible ? In a few days she will go to have a bone marrow transplant . Her mother tells me I am an inspiration . And I say that Shayla is . The pictures of her are heartbreaking . The swePosted by I figured out how to use the ethernet connection ! ! This was lunchtime at Mama Jack 's restaurant today . 9 miles from the day 's destination in Silsbee . Yee Ha ! It 's hot . Deep Soputh here we come . Well , there is no wireless internet connection here that I can find and the ethernet cable does not connect to my computer , at least in any way I can figure out . So my roommate has loaned me her Apple and I 'm going to write a note to you on it - but that means no pictures . It was a kind of a slow photo day anyway . I 'd taken a picture of some Texas things but nothing dramatic or so compelling that I feel horrible about not being able to show them to you . And , considering the drama of yesterday , it was kind of an uneventful day today all around , which , frankly , was just fine with me , thank you very much . I woke up stiff and aching and bruised and if I 'd been home I might have just said , " how ' bout we take it EASY today " but I 'm not home and taking it easy , by laying around , is not an option . We have a mobile life here and if I didn 't ride I 'd still have to pack , ride - in a van - unpack . Riding seemed the better option . And riding was fine . 63 miles . Easy . Flat or really easy rises and falls . 1 degree climbs . Compared the the 18 degree combs of our recent days , today might as well have been flat . Fine by me . Just fine . So it 's not really a " rest day " but I 'm resting , doing my laundry , mailing things back home , things like my heavy fleece and my down jacket . It 's in the 80s here and I think I 'm done with those extra warm layers . And it is early enough that a nap is an option and that sounds pretty good to me . Cheers to you all . And thank you for your notes . I really am fine . Oh - we rode by a small church today with one of those changeable signs out front . It said , " Never pass up an opportunity to say I love you . " Nice , yes ? Keep that in mind . Life is a fragile and important thing . Don 't forget . Okay . The END of the story is , I 'm fine . Now - the story . I fell today . And I wrecked my bike . And , remember the beginning , I am fine . See , it was hot this morning but sort of cloudy and looking like it might rain and looking like it might get cold EVEN THOUGH the weather report said it was going to just get warmer than the 61 degrees it started out at . And the rule of thumb in this regard is you are supposed to start out a little chilly because you warm up when you ride . But I listened to my internal worrier and put on my arm warmers ( these are like long gloves without the fingers ) , disregarding all signs that were telling me I would not need them . And sure enough , almost as soon as we started riding , I got hot . At only 4 miles into the ride . And even though our foursome has said , again and again , DON ' T APOLOGIZE for asking for something , like wanting to stop , I didn 't want to make everyone stop when we had just gotten started so , instead of stopping or asking for everyone else to stop so I could take off a layer of clothing , I decided to take off my arm warmers while I was riding . Big mistake . I slipped them down to my wrists and , still not cool enough and still not wanting to make everyone stop for me , I took them off , one at a time and , one at a time , tucked them into my jersey pockets , the ones at my lower back . So far so good . Except not really , because one of them was not really in the pocket and when I straightened out my jacket , one of the arm warmers slipped and went onto my back wheel and fell down right into my derailleur . And that , my friends , meant that I came to a stop . Instantly . And that , as you might imagine , is a bad thing , instantly stopping while riding . I went down , landing on my left knee , my left elbow , all the things on the left side of me . And the arm warmer , tangled in the rear derailleur , broke the thing , bending it up and out and , well , in completely the wrong place for it to be . I bent my handlebars , bent my left brake lever , my left everything . And that was it for riding my bike . The way thPosted by I never knew how to clean a bike before . Actually , I used to take my bike to the bike shop to have THEM clean it . Imagine ! Now I find it ever so satisfying to take a long time to go over every inch of my little red TREK , scouring it , loving it . There is a great product called Simple Green that we have . It takes away grease and is non toxic . My kind of cleaner . There is a certain order I follow when cleaning my bike , a certain method I now have that puts me in a quiet place . Today 's session was particularly satisfying because for a long time I was all by myself in the parking lot . Now there are a number of riders , all cleaning bikes , sharing tips . giving help , having fun , but not being completely quiet . Not being meditative . I opened the trailer , set up up bike stand , put my bike up on it , and began the cleaning . The chain , the rear cassette , the chain ring , the toe cleats , the frame , the brakes . I strip the bike first , taking off all the bags and bottles and it looks so fresh and new and unencumbered . I don 't carry a lot of gear , but still , when I get it ready for cleaning , it seems so innocent . I have spent a lot of time with this machine in these past weeks and I feel very attached to it . My bike is now pristine once again . The chain ring is clean , the cassette , glistening . All the cogs of the chain are clean and have new lubrication . All the metal - touching - metal junctions are siliconed . I 've gone over the tires , the brakes , the spokes , the frame . A rest day is a good thing . I had a massage . I ate lunch . I cleaned my bike . I will have dinner later . I might have a nap now . Tomorrow we 're back to it . I 'm ready , with not - so - tired legs and a very clean bike . Cheers for now . Laurey Here we are in Bluebonnet country . Oh it is a glorious time to be here . Lady Bird Johnson left quite a legacy - flowers , flowers everywhere . And NOW is the time to be here . Right now . And here we are . In Bluebonnet Land . Tra la . The fields are full of these blue babies . From a distance there is a blue haze . On close inspection one finds scads , loads , heaps , piles . of them . And there are Indian Paintbrush which are orange and evening Primrose which are a lovely light pink . And Coreopsis are yellow and it goes on and one . The red dots the middle of a blue sweep . The yellow masses behind . Red . Blue . Yellow . My favorites . Laid out and huge bunches . Oh beauty . Oh beauty . Before I left I heard a prayer : Beauty in front of me . Beauty behind me . Beauty above me . Beauty below me . Beauty to my left and beauty on my right . Today was that . Surrounded , surrounded by this color . And then all of it dotted on a huge background of rich green . Don 't forget the green . The palette . Bliss . Bliss . Sherry and Connie and Jan and I rode all together today . 70 miles or so . Rolling out of the hill country , no major climbs , no major descents . Just rolling and rolling and the green , ever green rich and thick and dotted with cows and bulls and calfs jumping around and sleeping horses and belted Galloway cows ( the ones with the thick white band surrounded by black ) and Brahmas and other odd types . This is a beautiful place . We stopped in Independence for lunch at the Independence Grocery Store . Sassy times reading the hot sauces and spice mixes with nasty little names . And , just off the bikes and full of ourselves we , as usual , created a scene . We were so happy to be out and warm and strong and headed to a rest day . And though I , for one , have enjoyed this Texas experience , it is also true that in two or three days we will leave and that , my friends , is a major accomplishment . A full third of this trip is Texas . Stunning . Now the gang waits for dinner , happily chirping away down below my second story room . We tuck into our plastic chairs and drink a Posted by Thank heavens for an easy day . I was wondering why I felt so " sloggy " this morning and then realized I had ridden 90 some odd miles yesterday . That 'll take it out of a girl , I 'll tell you . This trip was supposed to be " an average of 60 miles per day . " Well , what that REALLY means is that there are 90 mile days and 40 mile days and other mile days too . All AVERAGE 60 , but on a day to day basis , " average " loses its meaning . 90 is a lot . 40 , not so much . Thankfully ! ! Today started in the Bastrop State Park , a glorious creation of the glaciers , which deposited some special soils in the area , making it a perfect spot for some odd pine trees . Those pine trees are not found in other areas , just right there . Indeed , as we rode out , 16 miles after entering the park , we came into rolling meadows , horse farms , pastures , and open land . And we 'd just been tucked into the woods , rolling and climbing up steep pitches and down precipitous drops . FUN ! ( It might have been a little early - first thing on a Monday morning to go rolling up and down like that , but by and large it was a romp . ) We 're now in La Grange . This is where the real Chicken Ranch once was , THAT chicken ranch , the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas . There are plenty of like - named businesses in the area , a salon called the Best Little Hairhouse in Texas . . . as so on . Did you know I did a short stint as a dresser on Broadway ? My job was helping those sweaty football player / dancer / whorehouse visiting chorus boys out of and into their costumes . Can you say sweaty dance belt ? I digress . Tomorrow is another rest day . Seems awfully soon , since we just rested in Kerrville , but frankly , I am tired today and will not mind a day to get a little more recovery into my legs . I 've tried massaging them myself but I 'm not very good at it . Hopefully I can find someone ELSE who will not fall asleep while she / he works on my legs . I hope . Anyway - short note today . We were tired . We rode . We 're here . Short story . Tomorrow might provide more . Cheers , Laurey Oh me oh my . Another near epic day . Okay , not really epic , but certainly one that shall be remembered years from now when I think back on this journey . To start with , the day 's ride was listed as 92 miles . And , as usual , we scoured the weather stations and weather underground and the NOAA site and any other weather source we could get our hands on to see what we had in store . The first part , the temperature , is now the least of our concerns . I mean , we look , see , and store away the 54 at 7am , 64 at 10am , 74 at 1pm and 84 at 4pm information . File it . And then we turn to the wind direction . That , along with the direction the wind is coming from are two key pieces of information . And then I hop on google maps and compare the cue sheet ( which tells the exact roads and all the turns ) with the map , noting which roads are headed north , east , north by northeast and so on . Today 's ride headed south at first , then east , then north , then east and then , finally south . The wind , listed as 15 - 20 was to come from the north . Gulp . 90 miles , much of it coming from the side or , for a good chunk of time and miles , right at us . Nothing to be done about it . We got on the bikes at first light after , for me , an extra large serving of steel cut oatmeal with brown sugar , raisins , butter ( a big chunk of it ) and milk . This breakfast keeps me going for quite a while , both quickly and then , slowly , releasing the more complex sugars and carbs , throughout the morning . Part 1 was lovely . We 're still in Hill Country and today took us past all the postcard pictures we had seen at all the shops . Beautiful rivers , dams , limestone - lined creeks . We had a slight cross wind , but nothing terrible . Just before lunch , 30 miles from lunch actually , we turned and had a major boost of a blast of a ride , whooshing along with that 20 mile an hour tail wind . JOY ! ! ! Lunch . " Whataburger . " Not bad . Not great . Nice to have a stop . And then , the work started . We rode north briefly , right into the wind , and then turned east and had a wind for then next 25 miles that hit oPosted by I 'm in Blanco , Texas tonight . Hill Country . Lavender country , though we 're a bit early for that . And , due to a drought , though we are also in Bluebonnet Country , we might not get to see any . Today 's ride , a gorgeous and perfectly manageable 64 mile jaunt , took us through limestone , more limestone . It 's drier here than it was when we were lower down . We 've climbed back up a bit now and it 's arid and , today , hot . Comfort , Texas is a cutie pie stop where we ate German pastries and bantered with the saleswoman / owner . She was sarcastic and funny and we tossed it right back to her , which made her laugh out loud and shake her head at our audacity . We 're always ready with a smart retort , at least I find myself in that spot a lot these days . And , well , we 're not FROM here so that 's a license for a smarty - pants and , though I don 't often let these smarty - pants thoughts OUT in the rest of my life , they seem to be escaping with reckless abandon . It 's fun for a change . And Blanco is a one street town of cute stores and lavender this and lavender that . We had some superlative barbecued beef brisket here along with beans and coleslaw and , for me , an icy cream soda . Hit the spot . And we ran into Brian , a fellow who is riding alone across the country . He knew we were out here and had been hoping to find us . We know of two men from Alaska and one guy from Ohio who are riding now too . And the other day we ran across 4 men who are doing this route from east to west . It 's interesting . We compare stories , backgrounds , whys . Tomorrow we go along some more in Texas . Have I mentioned recently how big Texas is ? When we get to Alabama or Mississippi , two days each , we 'll not know what to do . I have to say that any preconceived notions I had have all been smashed to bits . This is a beautiful part of the world and I am , still , delighted to be riding my bike on top of these old rocks and through these old hills . Tomorrow is also a long ride . 94 miles . I 'll tell you all about it when I get finished with the ride . Cheers , until then . Oh , this picture Posted by Oh oh oh What a day THIS was ! Here we thought we had it all under control . Connie and Sherry and Jan and I had gotten ourselves all geared up , as usual , for what we thought was going to be a fairly easy last day of this stretch . I mean , the four of us made it all 111 miles the other day . The four of us had ridden all the miles the next day and the next day . And today was supposed to be just another little 50 miler . No sweat . Except that in the middle of the night last night we heard a roar that turned out to be the wind coming in from the northeast . Well , our direction today was northeast . NOT a good combination . Yesterday we had a 40 mile day and much of IT was into the wind and up three very steep hills . But the four of us had done well on that section so , though we were AWARE of the weather , we all hopped on our bikes and headed off , bright and early . The hills were completely doable . We 've been riding on top of the Edwards Limestone plateau . Occasionally we drop down to the layer that is the Buda Limestone ( I hope I 'm reporting this correctly ) . And then we go back up . It 's about a mile up or down . Fun down . Hard up . 8 - 12 % grade . But we had a tail wind for that section and actually got a boost UP the steeps today . And at one point , on one of the lower flats , there was a herd of antelope and deer and KANGAROOS and Bison . Oh , and Longhorns too . And it was breezy but not overwhelming . At mile 24 we stopped in Medina for Apple Pie . YUM ! ! ! ! With apple pie flavored soft ice cream and , for those who wished ( I didn 't ) apple pie flavored coffee . As I 'm sure I 've said , we can and do eat anything we want , and as much of it as we want . Big breakfast at 7 : 30 . Pie at 10 ? No worries . But right after the pie stop the wind picked up and for about 5 miles we were all riding as hard as we could , going pretty much nowhere . The gusts were coming in really hard . REALLY hard . And a person of my size is , well , not so big , especially now , and the winds really took charge . We plugged on and made it to the bottom of the last climb . The SAG Posted by
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We were so hot today that we stopped , just twenty miles before Palatka . Sometimes it is just too hot . My rejuvenation drink of choice , when I am OUT , is a chocolate milk . This little store did not have chocolate milk , though there WERE cases and cases of beer . A case of beer is too hard to drink on a bike . ONE beer is not a good idea . And the only gatorade they had was purple . It tasted , well , purple . Not grape . The best part about the stop was that the clerk was wowed by us . " You 're going WHERE ? " " You started in San DIEGO ? ? ? ! ! ! " She was a relative youngster . Her stare went from one of us to another of us to another of us . We were mostly just thirsty and hot and we all had to pee but we answered her questions , in between taking turns to pee ( " never pass up a flush toilet " is a truism of a ride with a bunch of women ) and allowed her to take our picture . It IS an amazing thing . We have ridden our bicycles across the whole bloody , friggin ' United States of America for cryin ' out loud ! Um . Today was our last long ride . It was not easy . We had a head wind . Connie ran out of energy . All of our crotches are sore . Jan 's legs are tired . I am tired . We 're TIRED . But we 're also thrilled . I am thrilled . This is a huge accomplishment . Even if I missed nine miles after I crashed my bike . And even if I missed 23 miles trying to avoid being flung into Oz like Dorothy on tornado day in Lafayette . Even so , this is a huge deal . Whatever conclusions I ultimately draw over the course of the rest of my life , this has been a gigantic thing to do . Tomorrow we ride into St . Augustine . We have been invited to wear our group jerseys but I am going to wear the one that was made for me for this ride , the one with my shop 's name across the front and the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance on one sleeve and the Mission Hospital logo on the other . It has the logo for Women Chefs and Restaurateurs and for Jubilee , my spiritual community . It has the name of the guy who made the jersey . And it also says " Don 't Postpone Joy " and , for now , most importantly , " Posted by We 're in High Springs . Surrounded by a whole bunch of other Springs . All crystal clear . All blue . All world famous . Who knew ? I 'm in a cafe and the walls are covered with photographs of people diving in these beautiful waters . We went to one , the one shown here , and yes , it was clear and lovely . But we 're now focused on the end . I 'm thinking about home . I 'm wondering about this ride . I 'm wondering about the now what part . I 'm wondering if anyone with ovarian cancer is helped by this thing . My sister wrote and said a friend of hers just died of ovarian cancer . This kind of thing rips me apart . I ride , wonder . Does it make any difference ? Is it possible to do something like ride my bike and WISH that it matters ? Does it ? Sitting here in this bar in High Springs I wonder . So I don 't have a whole lot to say today . I just wonder . Two more days of riding . One short day . One long day . Then a day of walking around St . Augustine . Then a day of driving home . I did not know today would have these springs . I do not know what is going to appear tomorrow . I do not know what will happen in St . Augustine . I do not know how the drive will be . I do not know what will happen when I get home . I do not know anything . Especially today . And yes , I would like to tell this story to Ellen . My friend Dara , who helps with this blog sometimes , especially when it comes to adding videos and things like that , is the one who put up the Ellen video and the plea to you all to forward it to Ellen . It seems important to me . But I don 't know if it is . Maybe it would help people stop dying . Maybe . Okay - it is still a beautiful day here in High Springs . Come here if you want to see some beautiful water . And come to The Great Outdoors for lunch . The food is very good . Tomorrow I ride some more . Here is a story about Laurey 's ride as well as a video . Help Laurey and tweet the link for this video to get Laurey on The Ellen Show . Come on , I know you have it in you . . . come on you techno whizzes - give us some help . Click HERE for the story . Posted by My legs . Yes indeedy . We spent our rest day at Wakulla Springs . Home to the largest spring in the United States and maybe the fourth largest in the world , the place has a flow of some 400 , 000 gallons PER MINUTE ! Mik , the guide from the first half of our trip said to jump for her . Ah me . If we hadn 't , she 'd never have know . BUT I am not one to let an invitation like that go unmet so . . . The funny thing about the place is that it hasn 't changed much since it was built . Irregular cell phone service . No internet service . Funny old rooms , an old - fashioned menu , and boats that have been offering rides up and down the Wakulla River since Mr . Ball created the place . Thank you Mr . Ball ! ( Makes me especially grateful to anyone with money enough to buy up land and save it for future generations . This is a very good thing to do . We who follow behind thank you . ) The birds and animals are very accustomed to these tour boats and so do not fly away or retreat . This means you can get close enough to a pair of nesting Great White Egrets to see the fluff balls in the next - the babies . And the plentiful alligators blink and move just a little bit when the boat approaches . SO much better than any zoo . It is SO wonderful to see these beings in their home , their real home . And then , to ride outside the park where it immediately becomes filled with litter and roaring cars - well , it brings tears to my heart . We continue to ride across Florida . Three more days . Three . Today 's ride was flat and straight . I don 't think we turned except to get on the main road and , just now , to get off it . I 'm talking STRAIGHT . The challenge becomes how to ride comfortably when there is no apparent reason to shift . Same gear . No turning . No hills . No variety . But , as with all of these sorts of days , beauty resides just one tiny smidgen under the seemingly monotony . Iris live in the Cyprus Bogs . The foliage , if you look , is incredibly varied - palmetto , Cyprus , oaks , Spanish moss and many , many other things . Pines poke up , ferns fill in the scrub . Take a breath , Posted by This is my new favorite activity . I love tinkering , tweaking , adjusting . I have gone from knowing very little about this machine , to feeling quite competent . As I told you , the other day I had to get a major adjustment , a whole new derailleur cable . This was residue from my bike crash back in Navasota . Well , the bike mechanic told me that the cable would stretch in a few days and that I would need to get it fixed because it would cease to shift smoothly . We 're not near a bike shop in this run of the trip , so I , getting a hint of what to do from one of the guides , fixed it myself ! Go me ! And then Jan , today , was having some trouble with HER derailleur and I fixed IT too ! ( She currently thinks I 'm a mechanical wizard , which is a stretch , but it is true that she needed help , I gave it to her , and my help fixed her problem . Go me ! ( I wouldn 't normally say this so much , but it is a real delight to have the confidence to plunge in and fix little problems . ) After Jan gushed to me , my whole day changed today . Before that I was just , well , riding , wondering what might pop up to catch my interest . I was enjoying the scenery , the Cypress Bogs ( thanks for telling me about them ) and humming songs ( thanks for all the Florida song hints . ) I was , as usual , musing about how and if my life has changed as a result of this ride . And then Jan had that problem and I fixed it and she thanked me . It felt so good . So good . So simple and good . Sometimes something doesn 't have to be complicated to make a difference . A simple thank you made a huge difference to me today . A simple feeling of competence made a huge difference to me today . Simple stuff . Simple lessons . Tomorrow we ride a short distance to a place that has clear waters in a natural spring . I have never been there before but the name , Wakulla Springs , is alluring . We ride in , spend a whole day there , and ride out . I 'll tell you as much as I can . I am meeting some Chamber of Commerce people so I 'll get the lowdown and , probably , will tell you to come visit too . Heck , I love water and Posted by Connie wears red . Jan wears tank tops these days . We switch off . Me first . Connie first . Jan first . Me first . Connie first . Jan first . 5 mile turns today . Less on a harder day . Today wasn 't really hard so longer turns worked just fine . Today we rode 93 miles . No wind . Smooth roads . A relative breeze . We were on Route 90 for most of the day and our cue sheet said , pretty much , " get on route 90 . Ride 90 miles . Get off . Turn right . Go to the Hampton Inn . " ( not exactly but almost . ) Today we had slightly more than 6 hours of actual riding time . We were out for longer than that , but every time we stop , the little bike computer stops . We start . It starts . Pretty cool . At the end of the ride you push a button and it tells you how long you 've been riding . Fancy computers also tell your average speed , fastest speed , elevation gain - fancy stuff . Mine is a simple one . How far did you go ? How long did it take . You want the average ? Do the math . It did get hot after a bit , which sent us into convenience stores . We troop in , head for the ice machine , fill up , head for the ladies ' room , go to the drink area , load up with drinks , and finish off at the ice cream freezer . We 're all aware that we need to start tapering off pretty soon . We simply cannot go home and eat like this unless we 're spending the entire day riding . At our second convenience store stop of the day we created the usual scene . We don 't really MEAN to , it just happens . I mean , most convenience store shoppers are not used to three middle aged women biking around . And we 're not exactly shy and retiring . Um , no . It doesn 't take much to set one of us off and then the three of us get going and that 's about it . Another scene . Today , after the scene at the cash register , we ended up sitting with a Deputy Sherriff who was trying to eat his lunch of chicken and macaroni and cheese . I 'm not quite sure how it happened but somehow there we all were , sitting with him in his booth , poor fellow , all of us talking at the same time . The people at the booth behind him were shaking thePosted by This is yesterday 's picture , but you probably don 't mind . Connie ( near the road ) , me , Jan . Jan and Connie and I were riding yesterday and when we came to this sign Jan started screaming and yelling and pounding her fists into the air . I , for one , have been excited every time we cross a state line , but this one really got her . Connie and I were happy , don 't get me wrong but Jan was dancing with glee . There we were , the three of us , on a pretty busy highway . And by now we want pictures with all of us in them but there were no other riders around . Hmm . . . I moved into the spot under the sign , Jan followed and so did Connie ( I don 't know what we were all thinking ) but just then Janet Bee , the day 's SAG driver , pulled up . Perfect ! A photographer ! She snapped pictures for all of us . We snapped some of her . And then she went off to take care of her charges and we kept riding . Today we left the coast and rode into the interior of the panhandle . A mere speck of a ride . 56 miles . Easy schmeezy . We 're in Crestview now . We stopped for lunch at a little independent restaurant here and asked the waitress what we should see that was cute . She said , " I don 't know , let me ask in the kitchen . " ( She had just told us she 's lived here for 15 years so I thought that was a curious answer . ) But she came back saying , " If you 're looking for cute , the chef says to come into the kitchen ! " So I did . Turns out Michael ( of Michael 's ) was a sweet fellow and that began a bantering , sharing , fun little conversation about who we were and why we are doing this funny thing . Most impressed were the youngsters waiting on tables . Our group IS impressive , even if we show up in small groups . 42 - 70 years old . All women . Riding across the United States . Sheesh . Who WOULDN ' T be impressed ? Riding through back country , red clay , thick pines , lush ferns today gave me plenty of time to review . Time to think . My bike worked fine , odometer kept track . New derailleur cable held up . Wandering around in my thoughts . What will I do when I get back ? How will I adjust to being Posted by Made it . Rode my bicycle all the way to Florida . FLORIDA ! Chased by sharks and massacred by ferry - hovering mosquitoes , we managed to escape from the allure of Dauphin Island and the Alabama coast early this morning . It is REALLY beautiful here ( there . ) We crossed into Florida at mile 27 , I think . WHAT a change . Actually , I messed up my odometer yesterday by trying to reset it . BIG mistake . It was saying we were going 6 miles an hour and , when Connie 's said we had ridden for 20 miles , mine was saying we 'd gone 5 . Ugh . I rely on the thing because our ride cue sheets are all based on mileage . And Connie relies on ME so much that she never even consults her cue sheet ( which is fine with me , I like paying attention in this way . ) Also , I have been having some trouble with my derailler since my arm warmer crash . It has been getting worse and worse and today I could only ride in a few gears without having the unpleasant grinding noise of my chain rubbing against my front derailleur . I got myself into quite a snit about the two things . I KNEW we were getting to bike shop - at mile 55 - but could NOT let the stupid annoyance about the grinding and the odometer go . I made my threesome stop twice and I tried to fix it but it just wasn 't having any of it . We DID stop for a fine lunch of fried oysters and shrimp at mile 41 and I called home ( go Liberty Bikes ! ) and Ben told me how to fix it . Whew ! And then 14 miles later , we DID get to the bike shop and the mechanic removed my old , almost - completely - frayed cable , replaced it , and sent me on my way . 10 minutes - MAX . $ 18 . 00 . Wow ! And then , I got to be a momentary celebrity . The Asheville paper is doing a story on me and the ride and the writer lives here . We met yesterday but the photographer caught up with us this afternoon as we rode into Pensacola . What a riot ! ! ! He sat in the back of a truck while his driver navigated . He snapped a WHOLE lot of photographs . A LOT . And he had me ride way back and up close and next to the truck and he snapped and snapped and snapped and it was a tPosted by , I took advantage of our day off to redo my toes . They were looking a little shabby and , well , we 're in the homestretch now and I 'll need to be showing my toes off a bit more SO I got some toenail polish remover from Connie and reapplied the beauty . I met six hilarious folks from Kentucky who are here on Dauphin Island for a vacation . We had a nice visit on the day we all got here and so , by yesterday , we were buddies . A reporter from Pensacola came to meet up with me and the six of them heckled in the distance , politely . No need to take any of this too seriously , right ? After the reporter left the six brought me beer and wild drinks they had concocted in their condominium blender . And after that it seemed fine for me to reveal my toes and borrow Sharon 's new , perfectly matched flip flops . I mean - PERFECT ! Darvin and Freida and Helen and Mike and Bob . Very nice people . Very . Teal , as you must know by now , it the ovarian cancer color . Don 't you think this would be a fine poster ? I do ! Today we 're off , out of Alabama , over Mobile Bay on a ferry , and on to Florida . FLORIDA y ' all ! Ten more days . TEN . Pensacola . Crestview . Quincy . Wakulla Springs . Perry . High Springs . Palatka . St . Augustine . Asheville . Some more biking . Some more thinking . And then home , where this journey started and , now , where it will really , truly - begin . I 'll tell you some more later on today . Laurey We 're on the Gulf ! Rode into Alabama earlier this morning and wasted no time getting right to the Shrimp ! We 're now on Dauphin Island , the first place that migrating birds reach when they fly north from South America . Bird watching is a big deal here . The gang is planning an early morning excursion tomorrow . I 'll see . I might join in or I might sleep in . Our accommodations are pretty swank . We 're at The Dauphin Island Beach Club . I have been assigned a King Sized bed and it turns out to be the Master Suite . Gigantic bathroom , huge bed , private entrance to the pool and really easy access to the beach . I can look out the window ( the huge window ) in my room and see dunes and then , just beyond , the Gulf . Right now the waves are big , pounding and roaring . There are storms around and , though we missed riding in the rain ( I TOLD them so ) , the recent atmospheric upset has caused the waters to be pretty active . I might try body surfing . Or beach walking . Or both . Riding today was a breeze . 42 miles miles is really nothing . Just enough to get the muscles moving and the blood flowing . Just enough to get a little further East on this trip , this constant movement East . East . East . Here we go . Still . An interesting thing about endurance is that it takes a lot to keep it up . Today everyone seemed really cranky . We 've now been together enough that the politeness has left . People spout out whatever they think . The filters are gone . And the sore parts that some people have are flaring up to be worse than annoyances . Some people are limping . Ice packs are used in abundance . When we crested the last peak it seemed like the hardest part was done . I remember going over Emory Pass and thinking , " well it 's all downhill now . " Not so . Endurance means sticking with it . Even now . Even now when the mileage is not daunting and and the terrain is , actually , to some , monotonous . This , really , is the hard part . This sticking to the plan is tricky . CAN I find beauty in this landscape ? CAN I be nice when I feel annoyed ? CAN I rise above the discomfort ? Posted by Today was another easy one . And maybe I am getting used to this , or maybe it 's the short distance ( 68 miles ) and the flatness ( very flat ) and today 's relatively smooth roads ( mostly " BUTTER ! ! ! " ) , but I 'm just not ravenously hungry like I was at the beginning . Still , the sight of the SAG vehicle makes all of us cavort and chortle and exclaim . " SAG ! " We are still able to eat anything we want : doritos , orange wedges , fig newtons , apple slices , chocolate milk , and potato chips - not to mention the last bite of yesterday 's biker bar and the remains of yesterday 's peanut butter and raisin sandwich . I actually ate that exact snack today . When energy sags , put more stuff in . It works . Today 's ride was into the wind but it seemed just fine . I discovered that if you take it easy , the wind is less oppressive . I 've been trying to figure this out . One might think that riding harder would mean that you get done earlier , hence the day is over faster , hence that 's a good thing . Turns out not to be so - at least for me . Today my foursome turned into a threesome . Jan , Connie and I rode together , agreeing to take it a bit easier . Jan was feeling sluggish today . Connie was chipper , happy to have had her massage yesterday ( given BY Jan , not TO Jan - sorry about the lack of good editing in yesterday 's note ) . I was , well , feeling just fine . Threats of rain ( in the various internet forecasts ) turned out to be just threats , which I had decided not to pay attention to anyway . I sniffed the air this morning and decided to leave my rain jacket in the SAG vehicle - just in case . ( Remember , I go with the 80 % chance of NO rain ) . And , indeed , there was no rain . No worries . It did get windy toward the end of the ride but we slowed down and I tried to just let go and not fight it . It worked ! Less effort , less stress , much more comfort , much less exhaustion . We rolled in about 1 / 2 hour behind the front runners who we found in the lobby , waiting to check in . Hmmm . . . . glad we didn 't rush . We are much closer to the Gulf now . As usual we are in a motel nearPosted by Nothing snazzy about today . 60 miles . Green , green , green . More green . Water , water , water . More water . Rough roads . Rough roads . More rough roads . And then - BUTTER ! ( smooth roads ) . We were teased . Rough roads were punctuated by smooth so we came up with a new road nomenclature . " Pat of butter " ( a tiny section of smoothness ) " Stick of butter " ( 1 / 4 mile or so of smoothness ) " Pound of butter " ( a longer stretch ) " Case of butter ! ! ! " ( can 't see the end of the smooth section ) This is what we do on a day of medium length and marginal difficulty . 60 miles is now nothing . Hardly worth a note . Today 's forecast suggested wind and rain , but not until later in the afternoon . 20 % chance of rain , the report warned . To me , that meant 80 % chance of no rain . Winds might get to 20 mph . Or they might not . It didn 't rain . The wind was never a problem . Lessons learned for later . Why worry ? It might NOT do the thing that scares you . Four of us started out together . Jan was worried about dogs . Sherry was worried about the rain . Connie was tired . I , well , I wasn 't worried or tired . When we encountered dogs Jan learned how to use her whistle - very effectively , it turns out - and she is not worried about dogs anymore . Sherry took off , hoping to beat the rain . Connie poked along with me and Jan is going to have a massage later and that will make her feel better . At lunch after today 's ride Sherry was talking about tomorrow 's forecast already and is going to try to get going early and to ride really fast to try to beat the rain - again . Not me . I 'll take what comes . Makes it that much more interesting . I mean , if it was all a breeze , well , where 's the texture in that ? I 'll take the bumps and the rain and , yes , even the wind . If it rains I 'll get wet . Or I 'll have another story to tell . Or it will be a chance to think about how I 'm on my bike and not in a hospital . It 'll all be fine . It is right now , after all . Okey doke . I 'll jot a note tomorrow from Pascagoula , Mississippi . ( Aren 't these names fun ? ) I rode by myself today . A first . A good thing to do . I like riding with the other three . But today we passed a Wildlife Park and I wanted to go in . The others didn 't . So we parted . As it turned out , the Wildlife Park 's tours were completely booked . Masses of school children filled every possible seat in the cars and so the three of us who had wanted to try to get a better look at the animals were foiled . From a distance it was possible to see Llamas and Emus and Camels and odd deer of the African Veldt variety . ( Elands , Dik Diks , exotic things , all . ) And it was also possible to see the tractor - pulled cars loaded with screaming kids all tossing pellets of exotic animal feed at the Reindeer and the Antelopes and the Bison . I 'm glad the tour was full . By the time the three of us who were trying to get on a tour were escorted out of the park ( the animals all run free and the people are all confined to cars - and bicycles are not allowed unless tucked into a car or truck ) the other three I usually ride with had moved on . Which left me riding with Nancy and Carol for a short time , but I ride faster than they do so I ended up passing them and riding on alone . The countryside is beautiful here today . It 's very green . They had rain recently , probably on that tornado day . All the rivers are above their banks , the water , swirls of mud and sticks . Leaves are fully out now and the roads , country lanes for the most part , were lined with buttercups and clover and verbena and some odd little white thing that I 've never seen before . And riding alone was a new experience . No one to rely on for the turns . No one to share the lead . No one to rest behind . No one , for that matter , to inconvenience . No one cared if I stopped to put on my sweater or stopped to take it off . I did both a few times just for the novelty of it . And , no surprise , there was no one to exclaim to , to sing to , to chortle with , to become annoyed by . No one to get to share the day with . No one to have to share it with either . This , as I said , is our last day in LouisianaPosted by Oh yesterday was a fine one . A fine one indeed . I had company and St . Francisville was the perfect host spot . We stayed in an old b + b ( the norm in this lovely little town ) , walked around v - e - r - y s - l - o - w - l - y , drank a cup of coffee that lasted for an hour or so , walked a little bit more , visited with biker gals we saw , all of whom were walking at our pace or riding around , slowly . Of of the many highlights of the day was lunch . Lunch at an Exxon station . My first experience of this sort . But we wanted to eat some crawfish and this , we were told , was the place to do so . We ordered a pound and the fellow tossed them into a paper bag which he nested in a plastic bag . " These take sauce ? " I asked . " 's on it already , " he said . Annie went and got us a couple of Coronas and we sat at the only table on that side of the Exxon Station and opened up our bag . Annie had a swiss army knife so that took care of the beers . " Know how to eat those ? " a cowboy - looking guy drawled . I knew but it seemed like a good conversation so I suggested he show us , and anyway , Annie had never had them and there 's nothing like advice from someone who is offering it . " Break off the tail , " he demonstrated , " take off this top shell , grab the meat and eat it . And then you suck the head . " Okay . That , in a few words , was lunch . Extraordinarily delicious . Very fun . And highly entertaining too . The heads are particularly flavorful . By the way . Turns out the cowboy IS a cowboy , a performer from Oklahoma who was in town to perform at the Angola Prison Rodeo . He has trained longhorns that jump up on a flatbed truck . Sort of like the Royal Lippizaner Stallions . But a little bit different . More walking . Visit to the place where Audobon painted some pictures . He was only there for 3 months but did 80 paintings . Whewf ! We sat in the barnyard and watched ducks run around . Never went into the mansion . It was pretty nice outside and neither of us was interested in furniture . Dinner , out , was good too . Gumbo , Grilled Peaches , Crawfish Etouffee . Yum . Today , just now , I rode 88 milPosted by I 'm in St . Francisville , Louisiana . Sorry about not writing last night . Long day . Lots of miles , beautiful , but plentiful . Now I 'm on vacation for a day . This will be short because there are things to do , boudin and crawfish to sample , antebellum mansions to visit , including the one where Audobon painted many of his Birds of America series . Here I am crossing the Mississippi . Life is good . I 'll be in touch tomorrow . Laissez les bons temps rouler ! Nope . I did not ride all the miles today . Connie and I started out at 7 : 30 . Skies were grey . Ominous looking . Winds were strong . And they got stronger . We rode . We rode a lot . And the winds got stronger and stronger . The ride , 83 miles , at one point seemed impossible to me . The wind was so strong that we were pedaling in place . It was not fun . It seemed grueling . And we kept it up . Connie boosted me . I , her . Sherry had left much earlier , wanting to skip ahead of the storms . Connie and I ate breakfast and then left . And the winds got stronger as we went . We made it to mile 43 and I thought we had it . We had managed to figure it out , to find ways to pedal hard during the blasts , to work with the wind when we could . We made it to mile 56 and I thought we had it . Less than 30 to go . Completely doable . But we stopped for a break and I noticed the tv with a weather warning . A Tornado warning . And that was it . I do not want to be picked up by a tornado . I don 't know how these things work , but I do know that I did not want to experience my first one on my bicycle . So we decided to stop . And then we helped collect all the other folks who were still out on the road . By that time the skies were filled with lightening and thunder and the winds were roaring and I was glad to be in the van even though it meant we did not ride all the miles today . 20 miles missed . But , on the other hand , we 're alive . Not flying somewhere out of control . Sherry made it and so did two others . Connie and I missed the 20 miles . But not really . I 'll be in touch tomorrow . ( Oh , this picture is of me and Ann , one of the riders / SAG drivers . She gave me some road - find beads . And they match my teal toenails . NICE ! ) Well , Louisiana did not have a " Welcome to Louisiana " sign and , when we first rode into Texas THEY didn 't have a sign either . So , um , this is today 's Goodbye to Texas snap . And the photo of the road sign of Louisiana with a number of it ( the route ) didn 't seem very dramatic , so here you go . We are not in Texas any more . And the introduction to LA hasn 't exactly been stellar , but a day is a day and that 's what happens . Texas , lord love it , finished itself out with some smooth roads , not the dreaded Chip Seal . We all scream " BUTTER ! ! ! " when we leave chip seal and start riding on smooth concrete . And of course , today 's Texas finale was almost ALL smooth as butter concrete . AND someone had cleaned all the roadsides in Texas and there was no litter and all the drivers were nice and , well , I almost hated to leave . And then , immediately , Louisiana 's roads were awful . Chunky , sloppy , littered . Yuck . But , what can you do . A day is a day and a road is a road and , as we see , that 's what happens . So it goes . So it goes . We ARE in Bayou country now . We 've seen our first mangrove swamp . Our first airboat . Our first pile of mud that looks like someone has been making little sand castles - and they , as it turns out , are breathing holes for crawfish . Who knew ? We have now ridden over the first round of bridges . We 've smelled the first salty air , felt the first humidity . More firsts await . I 've stopped trying to predict any of this . No worrying about rain or lightening or things that are , truly , out of my hands . My job , my choice right now , is to get up , get on my bike , and ride . Every day . As many miles as I can . I think about those who can 't and that makes me forget about the multiple bruises I now sport . I think , today , about Shayla , a little brave girl at Jubilee . She 's battling neuroblastoma , whatever the heck that is . She 's four . How can that be possible ? In a few days she will go to have a bone marrow transplant . Her mother tells me I am an inspiration . And I say that Shayla is . The pictures of her are heartbreaking . The swePosted by I figured out how to use the ethernet connection ! ! This was lunchtime at Mama Jack 's restaurant today . 9 miles from the day 's destination in Silsbee . Yee Ha ! It 's hot . Deep Soputh here we come . Well , there is no wireless internet connection here that I can find and the ethernet cable does not connect to my computer , at least in any way I can figure out . So my roommate has loaned me her Apple and I 'm going to write a note to you on it - but that means no pictures . It was a kind of a slow photo day anyway . I 'd taken a picture of some Texas things but nothing dramatic or so compelling that I feel horrible about not being able to show them to you . And , considering the drama of yesterday , it was kind of an uneventful day today all around , which , frankly , was just fine with me , thank you very much . I woke up stiff and aching and bruised and if I 'd been home I might have just said , " how ' bout we take it EASY today " but I 'm not home and taking it easy , by laying around , is not an option . We have a mobile life here and if I didn 't ride I 'd still have to pack , ride - in a van - unpack . Riding seemed the better option . And riding was fine . 63 miles . Easy . Flat or really easy rises and falls . 1 degree climbs . Compared the the 18 degree combs of our recent days , today might as well have been flat . Fine by me . Just fine . So it 's not really a " rest day " but I 'm resting , doing my laundry , mailing things back home , things like my heavy fleece and my down jacket . It 's in the 80s here and I think I 'm done with those extra warm layers . And it is early enough that a nap is an option and that sounds pretty good to me . Cheers to you all . And thank you for your notes . I really am fine . Oh - we rode by a small church today with one of those changeable signs out front . It said , " Never pass up an opportunity to say I love you . " Nice , yes ? Keep that in mind . Life is a fragile and important thing . Don 't forget . Okay . The END of the story is , I 'm fine . Now - the story . I fell today . And I wrecked my bike . And , remember the beginning , I am fine . See , it was hot this morning but sort of cloudy and looking like it might rain and looking like it might get cold EVEN THOUGH the weather report said it was going to just get warmer than the 61 degrees it started out at . And the rule of thumb in this regard is you are supposed to start out a little chilly because you warm up when you ride . But I listened to my internal worrier and put on my arm warmers ( these are like long gloves without the fingers ) , disregarding all signs that were telling me I would not need them . And sure enough , almost as soon as we started riding , I got hot . At only 4 miles into the ride . And even though our foursome has said , again and again , DON ' T APOLOGIZE for asking for something , like wanting to stop , I didn 't want to make everyone stop when we had just gotten started so , instead of stopping or asking for everyone else to stop so I could take off a layer of clothing , I decided to take off my arm warmers while I was riding . Big mistake . I slipped them down to my wrists and , still not cool enough and still not wanting to make everyone stop for me , I took them off , one at a time and , one at a time , tucked them into my jersey pockets , the ones at my lower back . So far so good . Except not really , because one of them was not really in the pocket and when I straightened out my jacket , one of the arm warmers slipped and went onto my back wheel and fell down right into my derailleur . And that , my friends , meant that I came to a stop . Instantly . And that , as you might imagine , is a bad thing , instantly stopping while riding . I went down , landing on my left knee , my left elbow , all the things on the left side of me . And the arm warmer , tangled in the rear derailleur , broke the thing , bending it up and out and , well , in completely the wrong place for it to be . I bent my handlebars , bent my left brake lever , my left everything . And that was it for riding my bike . The way thPosted by I never knew how to clean a bike before . Actually , I used to take my bike to the bike shop to have THEM clean it . Imagine ! Now I find it ever so satisfying to take a long time to go over every inch of my little red TREK , scouring it , loving it . There is a great product called Simple Green that we have . It takes away grease and is non toxic . My kind of cleaner . There is a certain order I follow when cleaning my bike , a certain method I now have that puts me in a quiet place . Today 's session was particularly satisfying because for a long time I was all by myself in the parking lot . Now there are a number of riders , all cleaning bikes , sharing tips . giving help , having fun , but not being completely quiet . Not being meditative . I opened the trailer , set up up bike stand , put my bike up on it , and began the cleaning . The chain , the rear cassette , the chain ring , the toe cleats , the frame , the brakes . I strip the bike first , taking off all the bags and bottles and it looks so fresh and new and unencumbered . I don 't carry a lot of gear , but still , when I get it ready for cleaning , it seems so innocent . I have spent a lot of time with this machine in these past weeks and I feel very attached to it . My bike is now pristine once again . The chain ring is clean , the cassette , glistening . All the cogs of the chain are clean and have new lubrication . All the metal - touching - metal junctions are siliconed . I 've gone over the tires , the brakes , the spokes , the frame . A rest day is a good thing . I had a massage . I ate lunch . I cleaned my bike . I will have dinner later . I might have a nap now . Tomorrow we 're back to it . I 'm ready , with not - so - tired legs and a very clean bike . Cheers for now . Laurey Here we are in Bluebonnet country . Oh it is a glorious time to be here . Lady Bird Johnson left quite a legacy - flowers , flowers everywhere . And NOW is the time to be here . Right now . And here we are . In Bluebonnet Land . Tra la . The fields are full of these blue babies . From a distance there is a blue haze . On close inspection one finds scads , loads , heaps , piles . of them . And there are Indian Paintbrush which are orange and evening Primrose which are a lovely light pink . And Coreopsis are yellow and it goes on and one . The red dots the middle of a blue sweep . The yellow masses behind . Red . Blue . Yellow . My favorites . Laid out and huge bunches . Oh beauty . Oh beauty . Before I left I heard a prayer : Beauty in front of me . Beauty behind me . Beauty above me . Beauty below me . Beauty to my left and beauty on my right . Today was that . Surrounded , surrounded by this color . And then all of it dotted on a huge background of rich green . Don 't forget the green . The palette . Bliss . Bliss . Sherry and Connie and Jan and I rode all together today . 70 miles or so . Rolling out of the hill country , no major climbs , no major descents . Just rolling and rolling and the green , ever green rich and thick and dotted with cows and bulls and calfs jumping around and sleeping horses and belted Galloway cows ( the ones with the thick white band surrounded by black ) and Brahmas and other odd types . This is a beautiful place . We stopped in Independence for lunch at the Independence Grocery Store . Sassy times reading the hot sauces and spice mixes with nasty little names . And , just off the bikes and full of ourselves we , as usual , created a scene . We were so happy to be out and warm and strong and headed to a rest day . And though I , for one , have enjoyed this Texas experience , it is also true that in two or three days we will leave and that , my friends , is a major accomplishment . A full third of this trip is Texas . Stunning . Now the gang waits for dinner , happily chirping away down below my second story room . We tuck into our plastic chairs and drink a Posted by Thank heavens for an easy day . I was wondering why I felt so " sloggy " this morning and then realized I had ridden 90 some odd miles yesterday . That 'll take it out of a girl , I 'll tell you . This trip was supposed to be " an average of 60 miles per day . " Well , what that REALLY means is that there are 90 mile days and 40 mile days and other mile days too . All AVERAGE 60 , but on a day to day basis , " average " loses its meaning . 90 is a lot . 40 , not so much . Thankfully ! ! Today started in the Bastrop State Park , a glorious creation of the glaciers , which deposited some special soils in the area , making it a perfect spot for some odd pine trees . Those pine trees are not found in other areas , just right there . Indeed , as we rode out , 16 miles after entering the park , we came into rolling meadows , horse farms , pastures , and open land . And we 'd just been tucked into the woods , rolling and climbing up steep pitches and down precipitous drops . FUN ! ( It might have been a little early - first thing on a Monday morning to go rolling up and down like that , but by and large it was a romp . ) We 're now in La Grange . This is where the real Chicken Ranch once was , THAT chicken ranch , the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas . There are plenty of like - named businesses in the area , a salon called the Best Little Hairhouse in Texas . . . as so on . Did you know I did a short stint as a dresser on Broadway ? My job was helping those sweaty football player / dancer / whorehouse visiting chorus boys out of and into their costumes . Can you say sweaty dance belt ? I digress . Tomorrow is another rest day . Seems awfully soon , since we just rested in Kerrville , but frankly , I am tired today and will not mind a day to get a little more recovery into my legs . I 've tried massaging them myself but I 'm not very good at it . Hopefully I can find someone ELSE who will not fall asleep while she / he works on my legs . I hope . Anyway - short note today . We were tired . We rode . We 're here . Short story . Tomorrow might provide more . Cheers , Laurey Oh me oh my . Another near epic day . Okay , not really epic , but certainly one that shall be remembered years from now when I think back on this journey . To start with , the day 's ride was listed as 92 miles . And , as usual , we scoured the weather stations and weather underground and the NOAA site and any other weather source we could get our hands on to see what we had in store . The first part , the temperature , is now the least of our concerns . I mean , we look , see , and store away the 54 at 7am , 64 at 10am , 74 at 1pm and 84 at 4pm information . File it . And then we turn to the wind direction . That , along with the direction the wind is coming from are two key pieces of information . And then I hop on google maps and compare the cue sheet ( which tells the exact roads and all the turns ) with the map , noting which roads are headed north , east , north by northeast and so on . Today 's ride headed south at first , then east , then north , then east and then , finally south . The wind , listed as 15 - 20 was to come from the north . Gulp . 90 miles , much of it coming from the side or , for a good chunk of time and miles , right at us . Nothing to be done about it . We got on the bikes at first light after , for me , an extra large serving of steel cut oatmeal with brown sugar , raisins , butter ( a big chunk of it ) and milk . This breakfast keeps me going for quite a while , both quickly and then , slowly , releasing the more complex sugars and carbs , throughout the morning . Part 1 was lovely . We 're still in Hill Country and today took us past all the postcard pictures we had seen at all the shops . Beautiful rivers , dams , limestone - lined creeks . We had a slight cross wind , but nothing terrible . Just before lunch , 30 miles from lunch actually , we turned and had a major boost of a blast of a ride , whooshing along with that 20 mile an hour tail wind . JOY ! ! ! Lunch . " Whataburger . " Not bad . Not great . Nice to have a stop . And then , the work started . We rode north briefly , right into the wind , and then turned east and had a wind for then next 25 miles that hit oPosted by I 'm in Blanco , Texas tonight . Hill Country . Lavender country , though we 're a bit early for that . And , due to a drought , though we are also in Bluebonnet Country , we might not get to see any . Today 's ride , a gorgeous and perfectly manageable 64 mile jaunt , took us through limestone , more limestone . It 's drier here than it was when we were lower down . We 've climbed back up a bit now and it 's arid and , today , hot . Comfort , Texas is a cutie pie stop where we ate German pastries and bantered with the saleswoman / owner . She was sarcastic and funny and we tossed it right back to her , which made her laugh out loud and shake her head at our audacity . We 're always ready with a smart retort , at least I find myself in that spot a lot these days . And , well , we 're not FROM here so that 's a license for a smarty - pants and , though I don 't often let these smarty - pants thoughts OUT in the rest of my life , they seem to be escaping with reckless abandon . It 's fun for a change . And Blanco is a one street town of cute stores and lavender this and lavender that . We had some superlative barbecued beef brisket here along with beans and coleslaw and , for me , an icy cream soda . Hit the spot . And we ran into Brian , a fellow who is riding alone across the country . He knew we were out here and had been hoping to find us . We know of two men from Alaska and one guy from Ohio who are riding now too . And the other day we ran across 4 men who are doing this route from east to west . It 's interesting . We compare stories , backgrounds , whys . Tomorrow we go along some more in Texas . Have I mentioned recently how big Texas is ? When we get to Alabama or Mississippi , two days each , we 'll not know what to do . I have to say that any preconceived notions I had have all been smashed to bits . This is a beautiful part of the world and I am , still , delighted to be riding my bike on top of these old rocks and through these old hills . Tomorrow is also a long ride . 94 miles . I 'll tell you all about it when I get finished with the ride . Cheers , until then . Oh , this picture Posted by Oh oh oh What a day THIS was ! Here we thought we had it all under control . Connie and Sherry and Jan and I had gotten ourselves all geared up , as usual , for what we thought was going to be a fairly easy last day of this stretch . I mean , the four of us made it all 111 miles the other day . The four of us had ridden all the miles the next day and the next day . And today was supposed to be just another little 50 miler . No sweat . Except that in the middle of the night last night we heard a roar that turned out to be the wind coming in from the northeast . Well , our direction today was northeast . NOT a good combination . Yesterday we had a 40 mile day and much of IT was into the wind and up three very steep hills . But the four of us had done well on that section so , though we were AWARE of the weather , we all hopped on our bikes and headed off , bright and early . The hills were completely doable . We 've been riding on top of the Edwards Limestone plateau . Occasionally we drop down to the layer that is the Buda Limestone ( I hope I 'm reporting this correctly ) . And then we go back up . It 's about a mile up or down . Fun down . Hard up . 8 - 12 % grade . But we had a tail wind for that section and actually got a boost UP the steeps today . And at one point , on one of the lower flats , there was a herd of antelope and deer and KANGAROOS and Bison . Oh , and Longhorns too . And it was breezy but not overwhelming . At mile 24 we stopped in Medina for Apple Pie . YUM ! ! ! ! With apple pie flavored soft ice cream and , for those who wished ( I didn 't ) apple pie flavored coffee . As I 'm sure I 've said , we can and do eat anything we want , and as much of it as we want . Big breakfast at 7 : 30 . Pie at 10 ? No worries . But right after the pie stop the wind picked up and for about 5 miles we were all riding as hard as we could , going pretty much nowhere . The gusts were coming in really hard . REALLY hard . And a person of my size is , well , not so big , especially now , and the winds really took charge . We plugged on and made it to the bottom of the last climb . The SAG Posted by
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Running has given me so many amazing memories . It has allowed me to truly discover who I am and what I am made of . Through running , I have traveled to some of the most beautiful destinations and made a lot of great friends along the way . This blog is dedicated to telling those stories . I have been dealing with what I am self diagnosing as a hamstring strain . I don 't really know what is going on but whatever it is , it has been causing me a bit of discomfort during my runs . I pretty much ran through it all week but on my Saturday long run I noticed it was significantly worse . Sunday , yesterday , I got in my car to go do the grind . As I drove towards Grouse Mountain , the light rain turned to hail and I found myself at a stand still . I pulled over and called Peter and we decided to spend the afternoon at the climbing gym instead ( followed by some street hockey with Peter and his sister 's family ) . Today , I got my butt out the door to really do the Grouse Grind . I had that same feeling where I just didn 't want to go . I actually turned around at one point , only to turn around again in direction of the mountain seconds later . Again , as I got to the base of the mountain the rain started thundering down . I found myself sitting in my car , debating with myself about whether or not this was what I really felt like doing . I thought perhaps the spin bike at the gym would be a much better idea , at least I would be warm and dry there . Normally I am not this much of a woosy . I love exercising in the rain . Perhaps I am just feeling sorry for myself because of my bum hamstring . All of a sudden , this girl walks in front of my car wearing shorts and a T - shirt and she is holding an umbrella ! It 's pissing rain , I 'm in my car debating life and this girl is wearing next to nothing and is out doing her thing . Although I thought scaling a mountain while holding an umbrella a bit odd , it empowered and inspired me to get the hell out of my car . I did . I had a great hike . I could hardly feel the rain which had eventually turned to snow 1 / 2 way up the hike . It was beautiful and I still can 't believe how much self convincing I had to do to get myself there . My boyfriend kept telling me as I left the house , " just remember how much better you 'll feel once your done " . He was right , I was . Let 's be honest , as runners , I think motivPosted by Peter and I drove up early ( 5 : 45am ) Saturday morning to participate in Chuckanut 50km . NOTE * * * If from Vancouver , make sure to take the truck crossing and not Peace Arch . We had a one car wait while our friends didn 't even move for 30 minutes and almost missed the race . I did this race back in 08 ' and I really enjoyed the course , people , and post - race festivities . This year the field was super stacked and the results rally are impressive . We were there an hour before the start which was perfect because if you come to late there is a huge line - up out the door to get your race number and goodie bag . In 08 ' it was pouring rain and we had to stand outside for over 20 minutes to get inside . Luckily for those in line , it was turning out to be a beautiful day . The race started right on time at 8am , I wished Peter good luck , and before I knew it , we were off ! The first 6 miles run along the interurban trail which is pretty much dead flat . This is where the field spreads out a little bit and let 's the ' fast guys ' get ahead . After you pass Aid Station # 1 , you head directly uphill to fragrance Lake for 2 miles , followed by a couple miles of traversing and a quick downhill , followed by a 2 . 5 mile logging road ascent . Back in 2008 , I pretty much walked the entire first hill and most of the logging road . While comparing my splits ( from 08 ' ) with the other 3 females who finished before me I realized that the only place I lost time was in that first flat and uphill section . My goal this year , was to run all the hills to see how much time I could take off . In 2008 , my split was 2 : 05 from the start to Aid Station # 3 and this year I came in 1 : 45 . I was super stoked to see that I had taken 20 minutes off my time . The rest of the run was great and I felt consistent , smooth and controlled . I was really looking forward to ' chinscraper ' which from what I remember is this arduous and relentless climb right before the final descent of the day . I remember it seeming to go on forever , like this never ending hill . This year however , it seemePosted by This has been a weird week ! My legs feel like someone has gone and sucked the energy right out of them with a straw and has yet to blow it all back in . Every run I just keep hoping they will feel strong and energized , but alas not yet . As Chuckanut 50km draws closer and closer , I am starting to wonder how I will feel come race day . Sometimes , this wonderful thing happens where the adrenaline kicks in on the day of the show and everything just seems to come together nicely . I am not tapering for this event as it is only a ' C ' race thrown in last minute for some fun but it would still be nice to feel a little fresh ! The race this weekend is super stacked and I am stoked to be joining all these fabulous runners for a rad adventure on Saturday . On Sunday Peter set out to do the first ever ( maybe ? ) winter crossing of the Knee Knacker 50km . Goodie for him , it snowed the week he was planning on doing it . The week before I am pretty sure it would have almost been bare up on those mountains ! He packed up his bag with snowshoes and all and left himself a drop bag at the 1 / 2 way mark at Cleveland Dam . I was to meat him at the end in Deep Cove to drive him back home . He estimated an 8 hour finish time . At 3pm I set out for my own run to meet him , thinking he might only be 20 minutes away . I was stunned to see that I had not seen him by the time I reached the Seymour Grind . After an hour and a half , I had gotten all the way to Hyannis . I was starting to get worried as it would be dark soon . All I could think about leading up to this point was " how do I go about calling search and rescue " ! After starting my descent from Hyannis Road , I saw him coming towards me . He had survived ! ! ! ! ! You can read about his epic journey hear . Alright , time to go roll out the legs and stretch a little . Hopefully I can roll some life back into them ! ! ! See you in the trails ! ! ! After hearing ( yesterday ) that the Race Director of Chuckanut Mountain 50km was re - opening registration ( that sold out in 5 hours a few months back ) with 25 more spots , I couldn 't stop thinking about it . I went to bed thinking about it , woke up in the middle of the night thinking about it , and even came home from work today thinking about it . The re - opening was happening at noon and I thought for sure that by the time I was off work , the spots would be filled . But , low and behold , there were still 13 available ! I first did this race 2 years ago and I had a really great time . It was a sloppy muddy year and I found it challenging . I ended up coming 4th ( I think ) in a time of 4 : 55 . That was back when I used to walk most of the hills and since changing up my running style I have always wanted to go back knowing I can do better . There is a great line up of strong competitive woman so I will have lot 's of people to chase ! More so than anything , this will be a great chance to test out my climbing skills ( tons of hills ) , work on tempo and leg turnover ( 12 miles flat gravel path ) and have a great time with friends . Krissy Moehl does a great job and there is always fantastic food at the finish . The price is also very affordable ( $ 40 ) and is reasonably close to home ( just over the border in Bellingham , WA ) . Peter is signed up as well and I am looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend post - race at my family cabin at Mt . Baker . The beers and hot tub will be very well earned ! We might even get up the mountain for some skiing one of the days . On that note , I better get my butt out the door and run . See you in the trails . . If you are one that is interested in ' what we ultra runners think about when we race ' then read this post . This is a great look into the mind of a competitor . Pre - race thoughts : Because I had impaled myself onto a rather large boulder last Sunday ( badly bruising my sternum ) and I was going into this race just to ' participate ' and get in some miles . This ( just participating ) of course is easy to say , hard to do . I managed to run twice ( under an hour ) this week and one small hike up the Grouse Grind . Actually , yesterday I was really bummed out . I went for a run in the afternoon and felt awful and I couldn 't stop thinking about how ' behind in fitness ' I was getting . Getting sidelined is a hard thing to swallow . I hate to be a Debbie downer but I am just speaking honestly . I woke up around 8am and made myself a nice bowl of oatmeal for breaky . I then watched a few good T . V shows ( saved by the bell , food network ) and decided last minute to shave my legs . I couldn 't wear my 3 / 4 tights with sasquatch legs now could I ! The funny thing is , I had so much mud on my legs after the race , no one would have been able to tell . The race did not start until 11am and because I was just going to have ' fun ' , I left my house around 10 : 20 , arriving with a little over 20 minutes to register and go to the bathroom ( i . e - the bush ) . I chatted with a lot of familiar faces and we quickly towed the start line , pouring rain and all . I have recently been reading a lot of running blogs that have mentioned the word ' sandbagging ' . I finally asked Peter what it meant and even after he explained it to me , I still didn 't quite get it . Well , I certainly do now ! When people asked me how I was doing , I felt the need to let people know that I was going in with an injury ( bruised sternum ) and that I wasn 't going to be ' competing ' in this event today . I guess I feel like people have expectations of me and when I anticipate finishing in the middle of the pack , I want them to know why . I wish it weren 't this way . I wish I could just show up , without expectatPosted by It 's amazing how your mind and body react once you get the " Green Light " to go ahead and exercise ( run ) . I was hesitant to try and run the last 3 days because I really did not want to aggravate my bruised sternum . After finding out today that there was no fracture and that I could indeed run , I hit the trails at my earliest convenience . It felt so good to just be out there and not worrying about doing any damage . In fact , the pain almost went away once I started running . The discomfort became nothing but a dull ache and there were even a few moments where I had forgotten I was hurt at all . I simply stopped focusing on it and allowed my mind wonder . This weekend was suppose to be a big weekend . Saturday I was going to run Dirty Duo with a friend of mine as my relay partner . I run 25km and then he rides 30km . I had to pull the pin on him yesterday as I didn 't think I would be able to run at all but I may give it another day and decide by tomorrow . I would definitely not be racing it but it would be good to get in some miles . Sunday , Peter has been excitedly planning to run the first winter crossing of the Knee Knacker course . This would be a longer effort , especially with the recent snowfall but it was something I had really been looking forward to . Yesterday , I thought for sure I would be down for the count but today I am thinking it may still be a possibility . I am just dying to get out for an all day adventure ! Anywho , I am back in good spirits ! ! ! ! ! Hope everyone enjoys their weekend of running ! Congrats to all those who got accepted into the Knee Knacker ! ! ! ! ! ! The lottery was this evening and I am sure there are a lot of happy trail runners . If you were someone who was not lucky enough to get in , never fear , Summer Solstice is here ! I believe it occurs 3 weeks prior to Knee Knacker and is an amazing and challenging race . Spots are filling up fast , so hurry up and register . See you in the trails . I so happy to have found an amazing Sport Med Doctor here on the North Shore . Dr . James Bovard is such a wealth of knowledge and I would recommend him in a heart beat . He is an athlete himself , which is something I look for in most of my practicioner 's . After palpating my ribs , he determined that it is indeed just a bruise . He said it could take weeks / months to fully heal but on the plus side , doing physical activity will not make the problem any worse . . . yippy ! As long as I can handle the discomfort of the activity , I can do it . To me , that is great news . Looking forward to watching all the racers this weekend at The Dirty Duo here on the North Shore . As promised , the weather is always crappy , but it wouldn 't be the dirty duo without a little rain and mud ! ! ! ! ! If you need to get a longer run in and are in the North Vancouver area on Saturday , sign up for this awesome race . There are lot 's of options to choose from : 15km , 25km , and 50km run solo , 25km run / 30km Bike solo or relay . The route is fun and challenging and I promise it will not dissapoint . Peter and I will be volunteering at the same spot as the last 2 years ( twin bridges ) . I 'll get my cheering voice ready ! See you in the trails ! ! ! Although I am feeling better and better each day , my sternum is still not quite well enough to run . Today was the first time I felt a bit bummed about it . I took Monday off and managed to Hike the Grouse Grind yesterday . Today however , I had planned to try running later in the day when I had a chunk of time . I made it about 5 minutes out the road when I realized this probably wasn 't the best decision . Although it didn 't hurt , I was feeling some discomfort that I thought would only make it worse for the rest of the week . I have been injured a couple times in the past year and if there was one thing I have learned , it is this : if you suspect injury , don 't keep running on it until it is ultimately unbearable days and weeks down the road . Doing this will only put you behind an extra 3 - 4 weeks . I came home with the intention of riding my bike on my trainer but that didn 't feel very good either . I think I 'll have to stick to hiking and if I can wrap my head around it , some pool running . Our weather has been so funny this week . This morning I woke up to a drizzling of wet snow and the temps have been way down . What happened to our early spring ? ? It 's like our city is working in reverse ! Olympics come , no snow , they finish , it snows . . . go figure ! The Paralympic athletes are happy I am sure ! Have a great night , it 's time for bed ! ! ! If anyone managed to get through my oh so scientific post yesterday , you would have seen the part about me Super ' womaning ' it into a large boulder right smack dab in the middle of my chest . I didn 't really elaborate on it because at the time , I wasn 't in that much pain . However , I knew in my head that I would probably feel worse the next day ( yesterday ) . . . and I did . I woke up feeling like someone had thrown me to the ground and repeatedly stomped their foot over and over into my sternum . It hurt to stand up , sit down , put on socks , shoes , pants , reach across the table , you name it , it hurt . That didn 't stop me from enjoying my day off however ! I managed to get out and go dress shopping for Peter 's best friends wedding that is coming up in a few weeks . I even needed him to help me undress ( not to hard of a task for a loving boyfriend ( over - sharing ? ) ) . Note to self , do not wear my tightest pair of skinny jeans while shopping for dress 's with potentially broken ribs . It takes a lot of upper body strength to pull them up / take them off ( just kidding . . . k maybe not ) . As I reflect back on the " fall " , a few things come to mind . 1 ) We make different noises when we slip , trip , fall , and / or superWOman . I tripped a few times on the run , as well as I took a few close calls on some slippery terrain . I realized I made the loudest noises when I got into situations where I thought " Holy Shit , this could be a huge bail " but acted fast enough to keep myself upright . There is a difference however when I know I am going down and there is nothing I can do about it . I just let myself fall and remain completely silent . Whatever happens , happens and I 'll leave that up to gravity . This isn 't the first time this sort of situation has happened . I remember sitting stationary on my bike one day as a child and somehow me and my bike began to fall . I remember going into this zen like state , where time slows down , and you have a moment to think to yourself " well here I go , let 's see what happens " . Has anyone else had that feeling on a fall ? . WhePosted by Thursday morning , Jen Segger and I headed up to Vernon , B . C to get some athlete testing done with Andrew Sellers ( F . a . C . T Canada ) . He and his wife , Ginny , put us up in their beautiful lake front home for the entire duration of our stay . We were in a bit of a rush to get up there because we were supposed to do some athlete testing once we got there . As it turned out , Andrew wasn 't working the following day , like he thought he was , so we just hung out and got our selves settled in . Jen , Andrew and I sat outside , staring out at the calm lake , catching up on life and what is coming up for us in terms of life and racing . Afterwords , Andrew got us set up on something called " The Fitmate " which is a machine that tests various things including Basal Metabolic Rate ( BMR ) . This entailed wearing a breathing mask and laying supine and still for 15 whole minutes . I found this rather challenging because I kept wondering if I was truly breathing ' restfully ' . We did this test several times over the next 2 days and each time was a little different . The first one I did was right before dinner and was 1163 kcal / day with a HR avg of 34bpm . Now , this isn 't the number of calories I should eat per day but if I did absolutely nothing but sleep for a whole 24 hours , this would be the caloric intake that my body would need simply to function . I did a test directly after breakfast on day 2 and this one read 1311 with a HR avg of 58 bpm , much higher than the previous day . I am not sure if eating directly before has something to do with it but it is my only assumption . Day 3 I did it for the last time right before breakfast as I thought this would give me my true BMR . This was was 1033 kcal / day with a HR avg of 50 . This was good to know because this number is somewhat of a baseline . If I take into consideration the amount of calories I burn during exercise and during daily activity I can add that to the 1033 and that should be around the number of calories I should eat per day . However , there are going to be times when my BMR is elevated ( afPosted by Pic : I really didn 't have an applicable picture to add to this post so I thought I would introduce you to 2 special people in my life . 1 ) The guy in the jean cut off shorts is my Brother . He wears those any chance he gets ! Make 's me puke in my mouth a little bit but I laugh every time . He is cradling my cousin Martin . He is currently living and training on the National Beach Volleyball team in Toronto . He is aiming fort he 2010 Olympic games . Crossing my fingers ! This morning , I completed my 2nd Treadmill workout in a week ! That really isn 't all that exciting but because I really dislike the treadmill so much I was quite pleased with myself . North Vancouver 's roads / trails are really hilly and with all the interruptions from traffic , speed workouts on the road prove to be quite difficult . Ever since I signed up for Elk Beaver ' flat as hell ' 100km , I thought I better throw in some speed training . Two weeks ago , you wouldn 't have caught me step foot on a treadmill but now for some reason it 's a piece of cake . I say this now , hopefully I won 't be biting my tongue next week . Last Friday I did a 10km run on the mill . I wanted to see how fast I could do a 10km keeping my heart rate 20 beats below my balance point . It was around 47 minutes but my HR crept up towards the end so it probably would have taken me around 48 min . Wendy Montgomery has the Elk Beaver course record at 8 : 37 ( I beleive ) and her first 10km split was 48 min . Considering my effort was minimal at this pace , hopefully I can come close . Today , Tuesday , I trained clients from 5am - 7am at the local recenter and it 's pretty convenient to just get on the T - Mill right afterwords . There is something nice about setting the speed and just running . Yes , we all know treadmills are boring , but when it comes to speed work I find there is enough stimulation ( change of pace ) to keep me interested . I find the track just as painful to run around so it 's a close comparison for me . At least this way I get to stay dry on rainy days . There are also usually people running on tPosted by The MEC Relay team and I before the 10am start ! I 'll start off by saying that I never wanted to run FAT DOG ! I told myself I would n . . . Howdie ! It 's definitely been a while since I last posted and a lot has changed . Directly after the Fat Dog 120 , Peter and I moved to Vernon . . .
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Through all of this , I have also been starting my own all - purpose digital design company called Glance Media Design , LLC . I have found that , during this time of so much going on , I have a few resources to which I can turn . I have made ample use of forums and friends who know the industry and have many connections . Needless to say , I am inundated by design jobs left and right . I am not complaining , because at least I 'm finding work in my industry and I am thoroughly enjoying it as well . Lately I 've been trying to focus on building my own website and curating worthwhile content . More to come on that . A great resource through all of this has been the International Digital Media and Arts Association ( IDMAA ) They post current articles and journals giving extremely useful tips and tricks oif the trade . They 're also all about students , which suits me just fine . My best friend Court is also my future business partner , as we will be starting our company together sometime this Spring . I mention this because Priddis Music has hired him to do their filming and editing for the next few videos . Heopfully , this will become a long - term thing and Court will do many muchly good things for them . The recording studio where I work is producing music videos for promotion for local artists and their performance tracks . Here is one we just released ! It 's an acoustic cover of Taylor Swift 's " I Knew You Were Trouble " Here 's the video that Tough Mudder made . They make one for each event . Pause at 00 : 15 and you 'll see me . : ) ( Upside down . . . ) For my avid followers ( all 2 of you ) you will know that this last weekend was the event of a lifetime . I participated in the TOUGH MUDDER ! ( Most of the pictures below are ones of random people that I borrowed from Tough Mudder on facebook . I will post some of me later . ) Tough Mudder markets their event as " 10 - 12 miles of hell " and that 's about what it was . This was the most awesome , fulfilling , difficult , unique thing I have ever done . And the most painful by far . Was it worth it ? Words cannot express how " worth it " it was . I will , below , give a review of the event overall , as well as a review of each obstacle . The first ( ish ) paragraph of each obstacle will be my personal feelings and thoughts . For those of you reading this for tips , pay attention to the second ( ish ) paragraph of each review . Saturday morning I woke up at 4 AM and drove to my friend Nathanael 's house for breakfast of eggs and toast . At 5 , we met up with his Army buddies and took off for Tooele , UT . I , myself , am not military , which is obvious when you compare my level of fitness to that of my teammates . But , as you will see , they were very helpful and understanding through the entire ordeal . We arrived at the course at roughly 7 AM . It was windy and a balmy 45 degrees . Needless to say , we were cold and shivering while we jumped and danced and stretched for an hour , trying to keep warm . My Team ! From left to right : Shaun " Grizzly " Adams , Myself ( " Argonaut " ) , Duke " Nukem " , Nathanel " Nith - Animal " Hall , and Brady " Bean Pole " Ludden in front . Our heat started at 8 : 20 . By now , thankfully , the sun had come out and was warming us through our dry - fit clothes . I will explain later how the clothing was essential for my success . Tips for clothing : I was wearing cross - trainer shoes with good grip , but also very light - weight and good for running . I would DEFINITELY suggest running shoes for this , but get some that are worn in and that you can thrash , but that have good traction . I wore thin , acrylic " church " socks underneath a pair of cotton / poly Adidas ankle / compression socks . This helped protect from blisters , and helped my feet dry quickly , but also have some cushion . My next genius idea was the neoprene wetsuit vest I wore . I purchased this for $ 40 on Amazon and it saved my life . Keep in mind , this was a cold event with cold water . The vest , coupled with a long - sleeve dry - fit shirt was what made this outfit work . We all wore a white T - Shirt over the top with our team name and call - sign . ( Never wear cotton for a cold event , btw . Bad idea ) I also wore cheap rubberized gloves that I had cut the tips off of . There is a lot of debate as to whether you should wear gloves or not . I vote for them , as you will see later on . We all started with a cheer and a sprint out into the crisp , sunny morning . One half - mile later , we came to the first obstacle . This was , by far one of the hardest events for me . It seemed so easy . . . Army - crawl through mud under barbed wire . Simple , right ? No Sir . This one was a gasser . By the time I got out on the other side , I was so tired that the next 2 miles were sheer torture to run . I would recommend working your obliques and other core muscles for this one . Make sure you can easily army crawl for a good 50 feet without getting winded , or this one will hurt . . . As it did me . I had prepared mentally for this one , but I was still scared out of my gourd . They take a large , industrial - sized dumpster ( you know , the kind people use when some old guy dies in his house and they have to clear out all of his junk and newspapers he 's kept since the 30 's ? ) and they fill it up 3 / 4 of the way with water . The last 1 / 4 they fill with , ready ? ICE . The website says they like to keep the water at a pleasant 34 degrees . Oh , they also put a bright coloring agent in there , just to make it fun ! Yay ! I will be honest , just the thought of plunging into ice water when it was 45 degrees outside made me chill . But it was not as bad as I thought it would be . I ran up the ladder to my teammates cheering and Nathanael saying we 'd do it together . We jumped in , I gasped and hyperventilated a bit , sucked it up , and pushed my head under the water ( under a wooden beam you must swim under ) and came out on the other side . My muscles were beginning to cramp a little , but the adrenaline was pumping so fiercely that I didn 't even notice . Oh , don 't get me wrong , it was COLD ! But I was in an out so fast that it didn 't do nearly the damage I thought it would . ( Thank goodness I had that wetsuit on . ) I warmed back up pretty quickly once I started jogging again , considering the sun was out . I would definitely recommend a wetsuit if you are running this in the cold . Otherwise , just suck it up and jump in . If you can bring yourself to do it , it may be a good idea to " shallow dive " in , so that when you come up and start hyperventilating , you 're already on the other side of the bar , and don 't have to psych yourself up to go under again . That 's an untested theory , so don 't blame me if you die . Two 10 ft walls over which you must climb . This was fairly straightforward , but would have been impossible for me , had I not had such an awesome team . The boosted me , and I was up and over . On the second wall , I was a little careless as I straddled the top , and may have injured my . . . well , let 's just say I was in pain for a few minutes after that . These would be easy for anyone who can do multiple pull - ups . Make sure to let yourself down gently and then drop from a hanging position . Do not jump off or go too quickly . Many ankles have been bested on these walls . Either take a running start and just go for it , or take it slowly and find sure footing . Either way is fine . Just don 't " slide " down the other side . I did this , and was rewarded with a " crack - full " of hay . Not comfortable . . . Grab some wood and run / walk a quarter mile . I was with my team , so we grabbed a long log and carried it together . This one was pretty rough for me , being that I was easily the tallest person on the team . This meant that I was either carrying most of the weight myself or I was walking on my " haunches " ( squatted down a little . . . This is VERY tiring , very quickly ) so , I did the best I could and I helped as people switched sides and whatnot . My favorite part was a sign saying " Spartan Race ends here . But this is the Tough Mudder , and you have just begun ! " Pretty simple stuff . Make sure you can carry something heavy . If you 're on your own , you 'll be carrying a smaller section of log . Switch positions and carrying styles to work different muscles and reduce fatigue . The next running section was different . This is where the trail ran off course . We began running through sagebrush and gopher holes . Also strewn about were various animal skeletons and other debris . The next event was : Again , same deal here . This was a gasser . The mud wasn 't nearly as wet here though , and it was basically just cold , damp dirt . But the run to the next event was just as hard after completion . There was another aid station here . They had water and bananas , which was a huge help . Next up : I will admit , I was disappointed by this one . It was a 4 - tiered " ziggurat " of square hay bales . Again , up and over . Not too hard or creative . I can 't say I wasn 't happy though , as I was pretty dang tired by this point . I had run myself to the point where my vision was swimming and I couldn 't see straight . How far were we ? Oh , about 4 miles . Not even close to being done yet . This was actually kind of nice . We went down on hands and knees into trenches just big enough to crawl though . It was dark , cool , and quiet ; this was different from everything so far , so it was a nice break . Don 't panic . If you can 't stand small spaces , go around this one . It wasn 't muddy , but it was cramped . Try to stay close to your team or the person in front of you , and ask if you can hold on to their ankles . There are some turns , so watch out . Also , if you start getting tired of crawling , turn onto your back . You can then use your legs to push yourself through and use your hands to grip the sides and ceiling . This was a nice change for me about halfway through . Again , works your core muscles . Wear knee - pads if you 're concerned about rocks . Tooele is just dust though , so it wasn 't bad . This one is described as being 4 - ft wide trenches filled with mud , over which you must jump . What it ended up being was actually 6 - ft trenches filled with muddy water , into which you must jump , then slog to the other side and pull yourself out onto a muddy platform . This process was repeated about 8 times , I think . By this point , I was ready to keel over . About halfway through this obstacle , I wobbled and almost fell down or passed out , or whatever . But I just kept on going . After what I had paid for this and how long I had trained , I wasn 't going to quit or whine just because I was tired . Just keep on pushing . . . Again , a very helpful event to have team members for . You 'll be grateful when they are there to pull you out of each trench . Also , return the favor . Turn around the help the guy behind you . You 'll get some extra energy and good karma . : ) This one wasn 't too bad . They had 4 logs ( looooong ones ) set up on stilts . You had to jump and grab on , then swing your body over . Each one was progressively higher than the one before it . Roughly 4 ft high , then 5 , then 6 , etc . I 'm guessing here , I don 't know how high they were , but I made it through without too much trouble , and was onto the next event . This is the first of two obstacles involving live wires which hang down and randomly zap you at arbitrary intervals . I was so scared and excited and exhausted by this point , that I knew I wouldn 't make it through unless I just went for it . I threw myself under the barbed wire . There was a " slip - n - slide " - like barrier of plastic and the second half was filled with water . This made moving along actually quite easy and didn 't kill my core nearly as much . I think I got zapped on my calf , but if I did , I didn 't feel it . I was moving so fast and so pumped full of adrenaline that I made it to the other end , not even knowing whether I 'd been shocked or not . The water felt great at this point , as I was quite hot from the sun and the wetsuit . But then , it clouded over . " Cue the shivering cold ! " This was a new , " mystery " event . Each Mudder course has one or two obstacles which they just throw on you as a surprise . Yay ! I love surprises ! This was a 30 ft wall , which tapered at the top , and had a few 1X4 's nailed to it for grip . There were ropes with knots hanging down , draped across the top . You had to time yourself so that you went up as the other person went down , or you 'd end up falling a bit as they let go on the other side . This was tiring , and a bit scary , as it was fairly high up , but I made it through without any real hitches . This was one of a few events where the gloves came in very handy . The ropes were coarse and the wood was rough . Even with the gloves , when I got down , my hands were on fire and throbbing from the ropes and gripping the wood and whatnot . My hands were pretty cold at this point , so they would have been hurting anyway , but the gloves GREATLY reduced the pain . I ended up taking them off from time to time though , to let my hands dry and warm up . This obstacle was one of my favorites . Though I was winded , dead , sore , and exhausted , this obstacle was the best show of teamwork and camaraderie I had seen up to this point . There were - - maybe 10 ? - - mud hills , separated by trenches full of , you guessed it , freezing , muddy water . The ONLY way to complete this event was with teamwork . I jumped in , and slogged over to the first hill . The only way to do this was to jump as high as you could and hope the person at the top of the hill could grab your slick , muddy hand and hold on long enough for you to pull yourself onto the hill . Then between the two , or three , or four , of you , pull yourself to the top , and back down into the next trench . What seemed like an eternity later , we pulled ourselves out of the last muddy trench and moved onward . PLEASE clip your fingernails prior to this event . Okay , having said that , the best way to grip a muddy hand is NOT the " man handshake " way that most would think . Grip the person you are helping or that is helping you , like you 're about to have a thumb - war . This was the only way we could get a firm grip with all the slippery mud and water . Gloves helped little here , because everything was caked in mud anyway . Also , make sure to tie your shoes TIGHT before this obstacle . I was scared to death of this one . . . until I got there . By the time I got here , I was too exhausted to be scared . Ready ? Throw yourself into a 30 ft tube , just big enough to " slither " into . Then pull yourself down into cold water , and out of the pipe . I was now floating in ice - cold water on my stomach . I pulled myself over to the next pipe , forced myself down and into it , the water coming up to my neck . Then , hyperventilating , up through the pipe and out . Doesn 't sound too bad , but it was harder than it looked . You can employ the same tactic here as in " trench warfare . " If you like , flip onto your back to use your legs to push you along the pipe . You won 't need to do this on the way down , because you basically slide into the water . However , it is slick on the way up , so it becomes difficult to maneuver your way out . Here again was another water and banana stop , sorely needed at this point . Granted , my water had almost as much mud in it as the tranches , but I drank it down anyway . Then another mile of run / walking . At this point , it was getting pretty chilly as the sun had disappeared behind the cloud cover . One of our teammates became a casualty as he had to leave for the First Aid tent where they took his temperature at 90 degrees . He was shaking uncontrollably and was given an IV and a blanket . He was a trooper though , and we totally count him among the Tough Mudders . He was leading our team almost the whole time . The second installment of this obstacle was no second - cousin . . We 're talking the 12 ft Grand - daddy . On this one , there was a small " ledge " ( probably an inch or less ) on which you could try and stand while your teammates boosted you up until I could pull myself over . We then had to straddle the wall and reach down to help the next person up . This was not as easily done either , as we were all shivering and cold by this point . This is a steep , MUDDY hill where the only way to make it up is to form chains of people and slowly inch your way up . Also , at the bottom is a HUGE , neck - high trench of water . Just to make sure you 're extra good and muddy and cold . We waited in line for this one for a bit and noticed that the bottom 10 feet of the hill had been eroded so far , that there was NO grip at all . The line was beginning to back up and we were left the shivering , cold , tired , and demotivated . This is when they gave us a ray of light . The dropped a cargo net about 15 feet or so down the hill . Now all we had to do was get high enough to grab on and we could pull ourselves up . Also , they began blasting " Eye Of The Tiger " . This was enough to motivate and pump up anyone ! We all splashed into the water and just pushed ourselves up the hill . Good stuff . That was fun . This obstacle apparently has an 80 - 90 % fail rate . It is a set of monkey bars suspended above , yep , freezing cold water . The bars incline and then decline like an upside - down " v " . Also , they do us the favor of buttering ( literally ) and greasing them up . Also , some of the bars spin freely . Also , this event is toward the end when everyone 's already shot . Can you blame me for just jumping into the water and swimming across ? A couple other people on my team did before me , so I knew if they couldn 't do it , I couldn 't . That doesn 't mean the water was any less inviting or easy to cross . If you do attempt this one , I have heard that keeping your arms at a 90 degree angle and bicycle - kicking your way through is a good way to get across . Keep a firm , tight grip . Some people also try to do it sideways or they use the wood instead of the bars . However you choose , good luck ! The name of this one is obviously meant to be sarcastic . I walked up to it , knowing it would end with me in the water . You must " sidle " along a wall , with only an inch or so for your toes to grip ( covered in mud , of course . ) and only 2 inches of a ledge for your fingers to hold onto . Halfway in , this little walkway reduces to about a half inch or so . Rendering crossing next to impossible . Most people , including me , just fall in at this point . BTW , the water was more than 6 feet deep here . I fell in and had nothing to push off of , and just had to tread water to the edge . This was the perfect moment for my left thigh to begin cramping . I pulled myself out and stretched it and continued running . I later saw some people climb up onto the top of this one . They used the " handrail " for their feet and just held on to the top of the wall . Watch for nails though ! Luckily , for me , not him , there was a small guy on our team . You have to pick up a fellow team member and carry him about 100 yards , then you switch and he carries you . I got the small guy , but he was Army Tough and carried me first . Like a champ . No issues here , just had to push through it . This one was fun . Hard , but fun . Much like " Balls to the wall " , I had to climb up a wall with very little grip . No ropes this time , but it was angled a little . After some teammate help and much grunting and straining , I pulled myself onto a platform looking down on a pool of water . . . 20 feet down . Doesn 't sound that far ? You get up there in the cold wind with mud in every orifice of your body and every muscle screaming in protest , and you tell me it doesn 't look far . Well , all that was left to do . . . was jump . . . So I did . Plunging into the freezing water below , struggling to get back up , take a gasping breath , and pull yourself to shore . : ) My only advice here is don 't be a jerk . Help the people behind you and then turn off your brain . Just jump . Don 't think . Just jump . Don 't you dare judge me . I skipped this one . Honestly ? As if the sight of a 15ft high quarter pipe that has been muddied , greased , buttered , and wetted doesn 't sound daunting enough . . . The line was WAY too long . there people making 5th and 6th attempts at this . Not even my Army Tough teammates thought this one looked like a good idea . Probably just an injury waiting to happen . Don 't let my weakness keep you back . They say to make a chain of mudders up the pipe to get the top person there , then everyone runs up and grabs for your hands . . . Good luck is all I can say . The running is pretty much over . The finish line is in sight . . . We 're at 11 . 5 miles and ready to collapse in a pile of blankets and protein shakes . . . when you see it . . . Dun Dun DUN ! Okay , this one gets a lot of publicity . Again , 10 , 000 Volts means nothing unless you know the amperage . But I will tell you this . Hearing the " arc " ing of the shocks and seeing my friend Nathanael go down at the very beginning of this obstacle was enough to make me have serious doubts . . . ( He practically ate a bale of hay and blacked out for a good 2 seconds before he got back up and finished . ) I made a dire mistake here . I hesitated . . . Every obstacle up to this point , I kept telling myself there was no way I could or would do it , but by the time I got to it , I just turned off my brain , didn 't think about it , and dove in . Then , by the time I realized what I was doing , I was already halfway through it , so I had to finish . I finally steeled myself and took a running start . I hopped the first bale of hay and felt something sting my shoulder . It hurt . A lot . But I kept running . Or so I thought . Within 2 seconds of the sting , my legs had buckled and my body convulsed as I crumpled into the mud . I laid there for a second , knowing if I got back up , there would be more to follow . I tried to pull myself up onto my hands and knees , but another smack of charged electrons sent me back down into the mud . That one hurt even more . ( I have a welt ! How cool is that ? ! ) So , I decided that army crawling my way out was the best course of action . I pulled myself over the lip of mud and slid down into a pile of more mud . I laid there groaning and turned onto my back and , for a good 5 seconds . . . just wallowed . It felt so good to lie there in the mud . . . . But I couldn 't for long , because the finish line was just feet away . I got up and crossed to a cheering team and a volunteer donning me with my own bright orange headband . My first advice is just run as fast as you can . Electricity affects everyone differently and some people barely feel anything , while others black out . If you 're not tough enough , then don 't do it . But remember , you payed a lot of money and trained a long time for this . Don 't let your fears overcome your ability to push yourself . The reward is great . Try to take long strides . The more your feet are in the air , the less the electricity will want to " ground " to you . Also , do not open your mouth . . . I saw a guy get shocked in the teeth . . . That can 't have been fun . This was awesome . There were people standing everywhere , running to our aid as we crossed . There was a flash of emergency blankets , protein shakes , free goodies , and showers as I made my way , slowly and tenderly , back to the truck . I can 't thank my team enough for sticking it out with me and letting me keep up . They cheered me , they boosted me , and they didn 't give up on me . They are the reason this was such a blast . It was NOT easy and it was very painful . But this experience taught me something about myself , which I knew it would . I can push through anything if I just have the mindset to do so . I would do this event again and again . I 'm definitely signing up for next year . This time , it 'll be in June though . That 'll be nice . In the audio industry , it 's all about who you know and who you are . If people like you , they 'll work with you . If they see that you are dedicated and can work smart and work your tail off to accomplish a task , then they will ask you to participate in their projects . professor , Mike Wisland ( Wiz ) , is one such person . He is very well connected and he knows pretty much everyone in the industry . From the head of Skywalker Sound , to the men who helped engineer the Beatles , to every owner of every recording studio from here to LA . Trust me , this is a man you want to know . He is constantly getting calls from these people with job offerings and pleas for help . This is an easy industry to get blacklisted from . One stupid mistake or one foul attitude , and nobody will work with you again . So Wiz only refers his most trusted students to these professionals . The problem is that these songs have all been archived using different conventions , different numbering systems , and different media formats . In the back room , there is a huge , 50 ft long shelf , filled with everything from CD 's , DVD 's , cassettes , ADAT tape , DAT , and so on . These songs need to be re - archived and digitized onto their servers . This is where I come in . I was hired on to help tackle this huge project . My job is to go through each song and find the vocal tracks , the instrument tracks , and the backup tracks . All of which are in different places . This is my list There are over 3 , 000 track sheets in here , all of which are out of order and mislabeled . Fun stuff ! Well , for me it is . you see , I 've always enjoyed data entry , and I don 't mind the experience . When most interns are hired at a recording studio , I 'm not kidding when I say they are hired to scrub toilets . Most new hires work for at least a year running for coffee and licking boots , before they are even allowed in the studio ! However , I am currently allowed to work , not only in the studio , but even use the mixing board and the computers to do my job . This is AWESOME ! ! ! This is the greatest thing to ever happen to my career . I actually work at a recording studio ! Not only that , but Rick is having us TRAIN to use the board and to do actual recording sessions ! This is unheard of ! Anyway , needless to say , it 's an incredible boost to my resume , and I just can 't believe how lucky I am to be here doing this job . Yes , it 's tedious and time - consuming , but it 's still a real job in my career path . And they 're paying me more than an intern would make too . Rick is a very laid back kind of guy , who really knows business . He is an understanding , level - headed man , who seems to be truly happy to have me there . . . This is something I couldn 't People underestimate the value of a COOL place to record . The artists need to feel comfortable and relaxed , if they are expected to " gel " and really perform their best . Well , this studio is ALL about " gelling " . Check this place out ! they call it The Castle :
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With Chance of a Lifetime , I 've exhausted my cache of unread Jayne Ann Krentz titles . Rachel Wilder believed that investigator Abraham Chance had made her sister the scapegoat in an embezzlement scam , and she decided to do something , she didn 't know what . When she showed up unexpected at his rundown home , and he mistook her for the new housekeeper , Rachel went along with his mistake . It didn 't take Chance long to figure out that Rachel was no housekeeper . He decided that she had a secret , and he desperately wanted to know what it was , almost as much as he wanted her for himself . Rachel found herself falling passionately for this man who was supposed to be the enemy . Surely this man wasn 't responsible for her sister 's problem ? Nothing too spectacular here , but it did have some elements I especially liked . It was a B for me . I really liked Chance . Luckily , the mistaken identity plot is not taken too far . He knows she 's not who she says she is , and isn 't angry , just wants to know everything about her because he 's fast becoming more and more attracted to her and needs her to trust him . I appreciated the fact that , at first , he thinks she 's running from someone and wants her to know that she 's safe at Snowball 's Chance , and trust him . Rachel was likeable , too . It 's pefectly reasonable that she believed her sister when she told her Chance was responsible for her problems , and I was pleasantly surprised that she almost immediately started doubting this , when she got to know Chance better . It was interesting to see Chance deal with his family . His sister was nicely symmetrical to Rachel 's sister , both whiny brats who needed to grow up and stop relying on their older siblings to deal with their problems . Having Chances mom and Mindy 's new boyfriend be decent people was a nice touch , and much better than if the whole family had been a dysfunctional nightmare . Oh , and a little detail that I found funny : his sister called Chance by his last name too . Doesn 't that sound weird ? As always , I had a problem with the suspense subploRead more . . . This year I 've been reading many more anthlogies than I used to . The latest was The Further Observations of Lady Whistledown . The first story was , IMO , the weakest : ONE TRUE LOVE , by Suzanne Enoch - C + : Lady Anne Bishop , who has been engaged since childhood to Maximilian Trent - Marquis of Halfurst . Maximilian 's estates are in Yorkshire , and Anne 's life is set squarely in London . Anne is taking advantage of her long - standing engagement with the fiancé she has never seen by essentially doing whatever she wants , within the confines of society . Maximilian has heard of some of her ( rather mild ) exploits and has come down to London to reclaim his bride . Only to find when he got there that he actually desires his bride , and wants her to choose him over the suitors she doesn 't seem to be aware that she has collected . Rather than bully his way into her life , he sets out to win her love . This one wasn 't very successful in showing that our protagonists are in love . He sees her and he wants her and that 's it , they 're definitely getting married ! Additionally , the whole setup ( her otherwise sensible , loving father betrothing his daughter at birth , just because ) smelled of plot contrivance . I didn 't get why Maximillian was so ready to marry the woman his father had chosen for him . . . Enoch gives no explanation for that . Still , I kind of liked how Maximillian realized he wanted Anne to actually want to marry him , not do so to fulfill an obligation , and how he decided to woo her . Oh , and they compromised on where to live , that adds some points . My favourite was the second story , TWO HEARTS , by Karen Hawkins - A + Handsome , dashing Sir Royce Pemberley has had Miss Liza Pritchard as his best friend for over 20 years . What will he do when that intrepid lady decides it 's time to marry and sets her sights on someone Royce believes is entriely inappropriate ? A delightful story . In this one , I did believe that Liza and Royce were in love , and the way this came about was oh - so - romantic . I 'm a sucker for friends - falling - in - love stories , and thiRead more . . . In spite of the fact that I didn 't like Fern , the second installment in Leigh Greenwood 's Seven Brides series , I read # 3 , Iris . I didn 't like it much either : it gets a C - from me : Monty Randolph plans to take a herd to Wyoming . He means to start a ranch for the family and one for himself so he can get out from under the irritating and watchful eye of his older brother , George . He 's determined that nothing will stop him from succeeding , especially his neighbor , Iris Richmond , who wants him to take her herd to Wyoming along with his . The last thing he needs is a southern belle , steeped in flirting and vanity , on the filthy , exhausting trek over a thousand miles of dangerous , unsettled country . Her kind is strictly for looking at , not for buying . Neither does he need double the cows and double the responsibility . He already as three brothers along to worry about . Iris Richmond has nothing left of her father 's fortune but a herd of cows . And if she doesn 't get them to Wyoming , rustlers are going to take that . When Monty refuses to take her along , she puts her herd on the trail ahead of him and mixes the herds together . The continual danger of stampedes , rustlers , and Indian attacks drive the couple together , forming a relationship neither welcomes nor is able to deny . Beset by a thieving foreman and a long lost brother , Monty is the only person Iris can trust . And she means to trust him whether he likes it or not . Like in Fern , these people make no sense . I was fascinated by the setting and the info about the cattle drive , otherwise , this would have been a D . The book was worth slogging through just for Greenwood 's research , but as a romance it was a failure . The romance was stupid . Iris was stupid , feisty and stubborn and made nonsensical decisions just to further the plot . Monty would have been an interesting character , but his characterization had the same flaw . The worst part was the end , when a sexist " feel " seemed to take over , with Iris meeting a widow named Betty and realizing she ( Iris , that is ) wasn 't " what a Read more . . . FridayFive questions for today : 1 . How are you planning to spend the summer [ winter ] ? It 's winter in my case , and I won 't have a vacation , so nothing special for me ! 2 . What was your first summer job ? I 've talked about this one before : I worked as an English - language city tour guide for the passengers of cruise ships arriving at Montevideo . It was only a few days a month , and it paid pretty well , plus I had fun and got to know lots of people . 3 . If you could go anywhere this summer [ winter ] , where would you go ? My friend Monica is going to be travelling through Europe and parts of the Middle East for a month and a half ( she 's leaving on Saturday , so I went for dinner to her house last night and she showed me her itinerary . Wonderful ! ) . I guess if I could , I 'd go with her . 4 . What was your worst vacation ever ? I don 't remember any big disasters . Maybe January before last , a tiny apartment in Punta del Este with my whole family . You don 't want to be in the same apartment with my mother and only one TV . She has the worst taste ever in TV programming , and she 'll listen to her choices at full blast . 5 . What was your best vacation ever ? Either this last February in La Floresta ( very peaceful , I did nothing but sunbathe and read for 3 weeks ) or 2 weeks in Europe in 1994 . I 've long been curious about Science Fiction , and a few people have recommended Lois McMaster Bujold . I started with the first novel in the Vorkosigan series , Shards of Honor . First novel in the popular series that begins with the inauspicious meeting of Betan astrocartographer Cordelia Naismith and Barrayaran Captain Aral Vorkosigan during a treacherous war . As captor and prisoner on an abandoned outpost planet , the honorable captain and the resolute scientist must rely on each others ' trust to survive a trek across dangerous terrain , thus sparking a relationship that shares the struggles of culture and politics between their worlds . My first experience definitely won 't be my last , this one was an A - . I loved the attention devoted to the world - building , though I think I might like even better something with less intrincate political intrigue . Even so , even I could follow this one easily , so it was pretty ok . Of course , good , interesting universes and adventure aren 't enough for me . SoH succeeded because it also had wonderful characterization . I especially liked Cordelia . She was strong and sensible and no - nonsense , but also compassionate and kind . All that , and a nice self - deprecating sense of humour . Aral Vorkosigan was a bit more of a cipher , since we didn 't get his POV , but I liked what I saw through Cordelia 's eyes ( and , given the discussion we had about sympathetic homosexual characters on one of AAR 's message boards , where someone wondered why we never see heros or heroines that have had any kind of same - sex sexual experience in the past , I found it especially interesting that there 's a hint of it in Aral 's backstory . I had 0 problem with this , in case you 're wondering ! ) I think I 'm going to start doing the " Answer 5 questions on your blog every Friday " thing . I can 't decide whether to use the questions at FridayFive or Las 5 del Viernes ( duly translated into English , of course ) . Thanks Hermione for the url ! Anyway , it 's not Friday , but here are last week 's questions : 1 . Is your hair naturally curly , wavy , or straight ? Long or short ? Wavy , with LOTS of volume . It 's also very heavy , and there 's a lot of it . It 's short , with the front part a bit longer , " to frame my face " . 2 . How has your hair changed over your lifetime ? I wore it loooong ( almost to my waist ) until 2 years ago , when I got sick to death of spending hours untangling it and drying it . I went to the hairstylist and told the guy " Do what you want , I just want it short " . He actually spent a couple of minutes just staring at all the hair , telling me how this was every stylist 's dream ! First thing he did , before he started " styling " , was cut most of the hair whole , and give it to me . I made a falsie with it , which I sometimes wear when I want a different look . As for colours , it 's now at my natural brown , but it 's been blond , red and black . 3 . How do your normally wear your hair ? I never do anything with it ( unless I have a wedding , or some type of formal party ) . I only towel - dry it a bit after washing it and then let it dry naturally . I either leave it loose or wear a couple of barrettes to keep it away from my face . 4 . If you could change your hair this minute , what would it look like ? I 've always wanted straight , straight hair , with absolutely no waves and almost no volume . That 's what I get it to look like for special occasions . I don 't mind the color , I actually like my natural color best . 5 . Ever had a hair disaster ? What happened ? One word : perm ! I was 14 , and the stylist managed to convince me that she had a new product that would give me permanent ringlets . It didn 't , my hair just looked frizzy and I wore a ponytail for a couple of years straight . Read more . . . The next book I read was Susan Elizabeth Phillips ' Breathing Room . Lorenzo ( Ren ) Gage is a devilishly handsome movie star , best known for his villainous roles onscreen and his playboy antics off . Isabel Favor is a tightly wound self - help guru and author of The Four Cornerstones of a Favorable Life whose own perfect life has recently come crashing down around her . Both have come to Italy to escape the endless rehashes of their latest misfortunes in the public eye , and the equally endless drone of self - criticism . Ren and Isabel meet under what can only be described as unusual circumstances , leaving each of them thinking , thankfully , they 'll never see the other again . Imagine their surprise when Isabel turns up on Ren 's doorstep , her much anticipated rental villa belonging to none other than her ill - advised one - night stand . As might be anticipated , their fiery antagonism soon breeds sparks of a different kind . Meanwhile , at the villa , all is not as it seems , and the two lovers find themselves playing amateur detectives , trying to untangle the strange behavior of the townspeople and of Ren 's hired caretaker . As if things weren 't complicated enough , Ren 's ex - wife , Tracy , suddenly appears on the scene pregnant and with several kids in tow , ushering in a subplot centering on the nature of marriage in the real world . I 've seen this book blasted so often in message boards , that I approached it with trepidation . I was very pleasantly surprised to find that it was a keeper for me . My grade is an A + , and it 's one of the best books I 've read this year , and one my fave SEPs so far . I haven 't heard of anyone online that actually liked Isabel , but I did , very much . Yes , she was a bit irritating , with her guru - speak and her praying everywhere and her insistence on always doing the right thing , but she meant well , and I appreciated how hard she worked , faced with horrible circumstances , to stay true to her convictions . Best of all , she wasn 't at all judgemental of other people . And BTW , about the praying and the fact that she called Read more . . . There are some books in my TBR pile that have been there for ages . Some , I know I 'll get to them eventually , but there are others that I look at and wonder what I was thinking when I bought them . Sometimes I like to just grab one of these and force myself to read it , even if it doesn 't sound appealing at first . I get mixed results with this . I did that with Forbidden Garden , for instance , and I 'm glad I read it . The one I tackled this weekend , though , wasn 't that good . I 'm glad I 'm read it too , but only because I can now add it to my Trade List instead of having it clutter my bookshelves . The book was Sweethearts of the Twilight Lanes , by Luanne JonesAs the doyenne of Simply Southern Magazine , Tess Redding is the soul of southern hospitality - - or at least to the world around Mount Circe , Georgia . But when bad boy Flynn Garvey roars back into town , Tess 's plans to leave Mount Circe are suddenly in danger of burning hotter than Atlanta after Sherman . Once upon a time the smooth - talking rebel broke her young heart , now Tess is just determined to have nothing to do with the mouth - watering , trouble - on - two - legs charmer . But then Tess and her best pals , the Sweethearts , begin to receive anonymous blackmail notes that threaten to expose their youthful follies . Having her old exploits with Flynn revealed is the last thing Tess 's sweeter - than - molasses image needs , and he is the only one who can help her . So all that 's left for Tess to do is put on her best pair of pumps , march right on up to the man . . . and fall in love all over again . My grade for it was a C - , and I think I 've learnt my lesson . No more Southern Fiction for me , I just don 't like it . For most of the book , I just couldn 't relate to the characters and their problems . Who were this people ? Do people like this really exist in this world ? I didn 't care what happened to them , and in fact , I think I didn 't even like them , Tess , with her Southern Living magazine , Wylene with her beauty pageant school and her daughters named Jolene and Brentelle , after her husband Joe Read more . . . Thursday 19th was a holiday here in Uruguay , the anniversary of the birth of our national hero , Josà © Artigas . I requested leave on Friday too , and I went on my own to Punta del Este for a little relaxation . It was horribly cold outside and there was nothing to do , so I just . . . read ! First , I reread Harry Potter # 4 , HP and the Goblet of Fire , to prepare for the release of # 5 ( I don 't know when I 'll be able to get it , but so far I 've been resisting the temptation to read spoilers ) . Well , what can I say that hasn 't been said a thousand times before ? It was excellent , and I liked it just as much as I did when I first read it . It 's imaginative , intriguing , exciting , dark , and very definitely not just a children 's book . There were quite a few details I didn 't remember well , especially about the dà © nouement , so I 'm very glad I read it . I can 't wait ! ( and Hermione , you can 't imagine how much I envy you ! ! ) I was terribly embarrassed the other day on my way to work . I was on the bus , sitting next to this old guy , and when he got to his stop and started to get up , he said " Excuse me , please " . The interesting thing was that he said it in English ! I was a bit taken aback by this , because the guy obviously wasn 't an English speaker ( his accent was pretty atrocious , if I may be unkind ) . So why did he speak to me in English ? Uh - oh , he must have noticed I was reading a book in that language ( of course I was reading ! What do normal people do on buses ? ) . And I say " uh - oh " because I was reading a romance , and I 'd spent most of my trip reading a sex scene . The poor man must have got an eyeful ! During the weekend , I read The Dark on the Other Side , by Barbara MichaelsWhen writer Michael Collins arrives at the home of celebrity Renaissance Man and millionaire Gordon Randolph to start the man 's biography , he can 't help but notice that his wife Linda seems to be both hateful toward her husband and terrified of something she can 't name . As he starts doing his research into Randolph 's background he finds some disturbing but enigmatic results . Then Linda , whom her husband claims is insane , runs away and keeps running , with a bizarre old witch as her only solid ally . But Linda has a counter - claim about Randolph , that implies something far darker and more horrifying than mere insanity . This was a good read , but not one of Michaels ' best . A B for me . The supernatural plot was a bit too nebulous , basically . It was never too clear exactly what was going on . This is something that Michaels has got better at with time . Also , the final scene was a bit anticlimatic and felt too rushed . The best thing about TDOTOS was the way Michaels paced it , gradually introducing enough clues so that the reader started realizing something was very wrong , and then what it might be . Michael 's awareness of what was going on proceeded at a similar pace , and Linda 's personality was revealed gradually too . At the beginning she seemed to be in a very fragile mental state , so it was great to see her show she wasn 't crazy and behave like the strong woman she was . Fun chore for Sunday morning : I 've been going through my bookshelves looking for books to add to my Trade List . So far I 've found : To the Ends of the Earth , by Elizabeth Lowell : this one was first published in 1983 , and it 's pretty much vintage Lowell . It feels very , very dated . I remember it had a nice grovel scene at the the end , and that 's why I was keeping it . To be honest , I don 't think I could bear to read the book again in order to get to the grovel scene , so into my TL it goes . The Bride Fair , by Cheryl Reavis : I don 't seem to be able to connect to Reavis ' characters . This book was interesting , but I never cared about the characters and what was happening to them . I also remember being bothered by the brattish children . A Place to Call Home , by Deborah Smith : I know many people love this one , but I didn 't really like it . I kinda liked the first part , IIRC , but the second half was bo - ring ! I 'm not really a fan of Southern fiction ( understatement of the year ! ) I 've a costume party tonight ! ! ! What 's the occasion , you ask ? Absolutely nothing . A friend of mine just got it into her head to organise one so she just did . Now my problem is that I only remembered about the " costume " part an hour ago , so I haven 't planned anything . I think I might end up wearing an old Korean thingy ( is a kimono only Japanese ? ) my mom bought when she went there 20 years ago . I 'm going to freeze my ass off , but it 's either that or an old can - can dancer outfit ( what was my mother thinking when she bought that ? ? ? ) For some reason , I violently disliked Julia London 's Wicked Angel ( excerpt ) . I usually finish every book , but for the second time in a couple of weeks , I decided not to finish one . She raced across the pasture , vaulted a fence , and landed , stunned and breathless , on top of the most handsome man she had ever seen . The bemused stranger stayed to capture the fancy of the brood of orphaned children in her charge , then stole Lauren Hill 's heart with a searing kiss as he left . Lauren couldn 't tell him she was a widowed countess fallen on hard times . She tried to forget him - - until she saw him again at a London ball . The man who haunted her dreams was a duke , out of her class . . . and he was pledged to another woman . The ton is ablaze with talk of the ravishing Bavarian countess . Stunned , Alexander Christian , Duke of Sutherland , recognizes Lauren as the country girl who 's captured his heart . Duty has forced him to pledge himself to another , to take his proper place in society and in Parliament . He wants one night with his blue - eyed enchantress , but will he be able to walk away from her again , or will he risk it all to be with the woman who fires his blood and makes him think of a . . . Wicked Angel . I tried , I swear ! I read some 150 pages before I chucked it , but I just couldn 't go on . I 'd already set it down about 50 pages before , but I had convinced myself I had to finish it , but enough ! I have too many more books waiting for me . Plus , there 's another trader I know wants this one , and she always trades me for books on my Wish List , so I don 't feel as guilty as I 'd normally feel ! What made me hate this so much ? Well , again , I found a book that pushed all my hot buttons . Many of the problems I had would have been bearable alone , but the accumulation was too much . Case in point , the virgin widow . I 'd rather not have to read about this character , but I 've been known to like some ( see , My Lady 's Pleasure , or Wicked Widow ) . Here , it irritated me to no end . Oh , and I hated Lauren . She 's so good ! Stupid kind of good , of course , theRead more . . . Continuing with Leigh Greenwood 's Seven Brides Series , I read book # 2 , Fern . Fern Sproull , a young , swaggering opinionated ruffian , dressing and behaving like a cowboy , is determined Hen Randolph will hang for killing her cousin . She 's equally determined that a fancy lawyer named Madison Randolph isn 't going to get his brother off . Fern has spent the last eight years of her life outriding , out shooting , and out cussing every man in her path , and she 's not about to let the man who murdered her cousin get off just because he 's one of the Texas Randolphs . But how is she going to know what tricks Madison gets up to unless she follows him around ? Madison Randolph , the brother who abandoned his younger orphaned siblings to go to Harvard during the Civil War , has come to Abilene , Kansas to defend his brother against a murder charge . There 's not much love lost between Madison and his family , but he 's certain Hen isn 't a murderer and he doesn 't mean to let him hang . The fact that an obnoxious female who dresses like a man and acts even worse intends to stop him only encourages him to prove he 's the very best at what he does . The suave , sophisticated Madison is appalled , first to discover that under all that dirt and bluster is a woman , and secondly , that he 's intrigued by her . But Madison soon discovers the female isn 't so obnoxious after all and that the ties of blood can never be broken . This one was not even remotely as good as Rose . I 'd give it a C at best , and I 'm actually grading up because I like the author 's writing style , which immediately sucks me into the story and keeps me reading even when I 'm wanting to tear my hair out because of some plot point . I 'm also giving the book extra points because I find the setting very interesting . It 's not the stereotypical " Western " setting , full of saloons and gunfighters , and the author manages to create a vivid world in which his characters live . I also liked the main plotline : I was intrigued by Fern 's cousin murder , and I liked that the mystery subplot didn 't overshadow tRead more . . . This weekend I read A Dash of Temptation , by Jo Leigh , a Harlequin Blaze . Tess Norton knows that Dash Black is way out of her league . She just looks after his houseplants , for heaven 's sake . But she can 't resist a sizzling fling with the sexy media king before she settles for Mr . Ordinary someday . Dash has never experienced a woman like Tess in his life . Hot … sweet … sinful , she occupies his bed - and his mind - day after day . She 's a welcome distraction in theNew York frenzy that he calls home . For Tess , he knows he 's just a man to do . Not a man to marry . But sometimes sex and romance can get all mixed up when you least expect it . … I like Leigh 's voice and style . She feels modern , and her heroines are more real and modern than most . This was something I liked in this book , though I had a couple of problems with it . A B - . What I liked : - Likeable , modern characters : a genuinely nice hero and a heroine who was pretty strong and driven - Characters who had interesting occupations ( Tess , for instance , owned a plant - care business ) - Very hot love scenes - The whole book had a romantic , Cinderellaish feel - Character - driven romance , the best kind . No villain to kidnap the heroine here . What I didn 't like : - A heroine who at times felt much too star - struck by the hero . . . which meant a relationship that felt a bit unequal ( the flip side of the Cinderella thing I mentioned - Name dropping . An awful lot of it . The hero had dated ( and slept with ) Julia ( Roberts , of course ) and Sandy ( Bullock , who did you think ) , and the author went on ( and on ! ) about the famous characters at the parties Dash and Tess attended . - The kind - of villain was out of Central Casting : the Rich Bitch , who badmouthed Tess to a potential investor , because . . . . just because . - The rush to marriage . These two had a future , but I didn 't really think they were at the getting married stage just yet . Why , oh why do romance novels have to finish in marriage ? Read more . . . Next , I reread The Gentleman Thief , by Deborah Simmons . I adored this book when I first read it last year , so I lent it to my friend . She hated it . Really , really hated it . Hated Georgiana , hated the plot , everything . I decided to reread this , then , to see if I felt any differently about it . Why her family had elected to spend an entire season in boring Bath , Georgiana Bellewether couldn 't fathom . Nothing to stimulate her inquisitive mind ever happened here - until the night Lady Culpepper 's emeralds were stolen ! Now , if only she could keep her mind on the case and her hands off the enigmatic man in black - the beguiling Lord Ashdowne . . . ! As the newly made , ever - responsible Marquis of Ashdowne , Johnathon Saxton bemoaned the lack of excitement now marking his days . But when quixotic , exotic Georgiana Bellewether literally stumbled into his arms , he knew he 'd caught himself an armful . The woman was a disaster in the making ! Well , I still loved it . An A . It was one of the funniest books I 've ever read , and one of the most refreshing . Georgiana was an excellent character . She reminded me a bit of Phoebe , from SEP 's It Had to be You , in that they were both brilliant women who looked like ditzy sexbombs . Georgiana , however , actually was a bit ditzy . Ditzy and brilliant , I didn 't think someone could write that successfully . The main focus of the book was Georgiana and Ashdowne 's relationship , which was a riot . I loved the way Ashdowne started realizing that she wasn 't exactly what she seemed . I LOLed at his horror when he noticed her thought processes were beginning to make sense to him . ; - ) This was a very sensual book . There actually was only one real sex scene , and it wasn 't too graphic , but Simmons succeeded in creating beautiful sensual tension . And that scene in the Baths , whew ! ! * fanning myself * I remember I was a bit doubtful about buying this book at first because of the thief angle . Thief protagonists are usually a turn - off for me . Maybe I 'm a bit rigid , but stealing because you need the excitement , even if it 's froRead more . . . I can 't believe I haven 't posted in so many days . I 've read a bunch of books since that last post , so I 'll try to be brief ( yeah , right ! ) . First of all , Search the Shadows , by Barbara MichaelsWhen twenty - two - year - old Haskell Malone accidentally discovers damning proof that the dead was hero whose name she bears is not her father , she is shattered . The revelation only confirms the dark fear that has haunted her since childhood . In fact , what little she knows about her birth and her mother 's subsequent death , is a fragile web of evasions and lies . Determined to expose the truth at any cost , Haskell takes a job at Chicago 's famed Oriental Institute in the city where her mother once lived and loved . But as she searched the shadows of the past , she finds that the truth can sometimes be deadly . A good one , a B + for me . As I posted a little while ago , I tend to group Michaels ' books into several categories . This particular one would be straight suspense , with nary a sign of the supernatural . I like the creepy ghost stories best of all , but this is still Barbara Michaels after all , so it was still an excellent read . As in every one of the author 's books , the atmosphere was incredible . The huge , creepy mansion , the strange characters , the young heroine . . . very gothic . I also found the mystery very engaging . The best part was the heroine . The book was written in 1st person POV , which only succeeds if the narrator is interesting . Haskell was . I just love Michaels ' voice , whether she 's writing under that name or as Elizabeth Peters . Her sense of humour shines through , and it 's a kind of humour I find beautifully effective . It 's never forced , it just springs naturally from the situations described . Earlier this week I read Lady of Desire , by Gaelen Foley , book # 4 in the Knight Miscellany series . My favourite in that series so far is Lord of Fire , and LOD hasn 't supplanted it in my preferences . It was a B - , while LOF was an A - . Impetuous Lady Jacinda Knight is the daughter of a scandalous woman - - and Society predicts she 'll follow in her mother 's footsteps . Then one night , in flight from an arranged and loveless marriage , Jacinda finds herself alone on a dangerous street face - to - face with Billy Blade , the notorious leader of a band of thieves . His stolen kisses awaken in her a longing for a man she can never possess . A handsome outlaw running from a secret past , Billy Blade has never met a woman like Jacinda - - her fiery innocence and blossoming sensuality set his rebel 's heart ablaze . Having turned his back on the privilege and power of his tyrannical father 's house years before , he vows to return to reclaim his title , Earl of Rackford - - to win the love of the ravishing beauty who has stolen his heart . I enjoyed LOD . Analysing it , I can think of quite a few flaws and things that bugged the hell out of me , but the fact remains that , on the whole , it left a positive impression . Jacinda was 18 and she behaved 18 . We should get this fact out of the way right now : she wasn 't fully mature at all , and had a long way to go . Thing is , I 'm not opposed to reading about young heroines per se , the problem is that they are so often paired with heros much older and more mature than them . When this happens , 99 % of the times the relationship ends up not being among equals , and feels almost like daddy - little girl . Creepy stuff . Here , however , Jacinda and Billy were equals . Billy was just a big boy . He had been forced to behave grown up in a rush when he started living on the streets of London at age 13 , but inside , I didn 't feel he was that much more mature than Jacinda . Their relationship was very fun to read about . They genuinely liked each other and enjoyed each other 's company . Plus , Foley created such great sensual tension thatRead more . . . Turns out the Uruguayan NT plays a friendly against South Korea next Sunday , so Nacional won 't be playing this weekend . Which means I 'll be spending the weekend in Punta del Este and won 't be here for Operación Triunfo comments chat : - ( Hmm , maybe I could borrow my uncle 's laptop and take it with me ? I can 't very well tell him what I really want it for , but I 'm sure I can come up with a good excuse before Friday ! I 'm very careful when choosing category books to read . Picky , picky , picky . I only buy them when they come highly recommended by someone I trust . Years ago , I used to go down to the newstand and buy loads of Harlequins ( Spanish translations ) , just from reading the back cover blurbs . I managed to read such stinkers that way ! I 've only kept 4 or 5 books from that part of my reading life . I thought it might be a good idea to give a category a chance at random , just to see if I managed to hit a winner . So , I grabbed my friend 's list of books and just stabbed at it , then asked her to loan me that one . I 'm sad to say I did not hit a winner . In fact , I tossed it at page 30 . The book was Accidental Roommate , by Charlotte Maclay , and it managed to find all my hot buttons and punch them for all it was worth . Hannah Jansen lives with her father and helps him run the local hardware store in her excruciatingly small town . And at 28 , Hannah is sick to death of being wholesome and dependable . A break in the big city is just what she needs . When her hotel mixes up her reservations and puts her in the same room as rancher Holt Janson , Hannah considers her options . Now fate has given her an honest - to - goodness sex symbol for a roommate ! Ok , so I start the book . . . uh - huh , a 28 year old virgin . Lovely . Wonder if she 'll have a real reason to be a virgin at that age . Maybe she wants to save it for her husband ? Maybe she 's religious ? Even though I don 't feel that way , at least it will be plausible ! Nope , doesn 't seem like it . She lives in a small town and , even though she 's quite attractive , she never had an opportunity to have sex . Right , ok . Strike # 1 against the book . So she 's at her hotel room and when she comes out of the bathroom she finds a man in the room . Short tussle ( in which the author doesn 't make her look like too much of an idiot , good for her ! ) and they explain . H . Jansen and H . Janson . I guess it 's possible that the hotel concierges would make such a mistake and give them the same room . Downstairs it is , to ask the conciRead more . . . I don 't read Westerns , but I was intrigued by certain comments about Leigh Greenwood 's Seven Brides Series . Since it turns out a friend has the entire series , I borrowed the first entry , Rose , out of curiosity . George Randolph , the oldest brother and patriarch of the family , needs someone to wash , cook , and clean for the brothers on their Texas ranch . Rose Thornton accepts that job . She arrives at the homestead to find six men ranging in ages from six to twenty - four years old . The house looks like it hasn 't been cleaned in years , the clothes practically stand up and beg to be washed , and everything in the kitchen is black with soot and grease . She soon discovers she 's in the midst of a truly dysfunctional family . The brothers don 't seem to like anybody , and that includes each other . They don 't much like Rose , either . Once they learn her father was an officer in the Union Army , they vote to send her back to town . George Randolph was an officer in the Confederate army . He feels responsible for his family , but wants to rejoin the army , the only time when his life was ordered and predictable . Rose sets out to convince George that he 's not only a father figure to his brothers , he really wants a family of his own . With her . At the same time seeks ways to repair the fragile bonds that hold this family together . I liked it , it was a B . I did find some problems , but it wasn 't that I was dissatisfied with what made it a Western , just that certain things in the story didn 't completely work for me . I 'll very definitely read the rest of the series , since I really liked the characters ( call me snobbish , but on the whole , I don 't like to read about uneducated characters ) , the feel of the book and the type of story ( i . e . not a lot of emphasis on gunfights ) and the author 's voice . I was surprised to see how fast I was sucked into the story . It was very definitely not fast - paced and a big part of the book is Rose doing housework , plus , her getting settled at the ranch , the development of the brothers ' relationship between themselves aRead more . . . The stadium was completely full . . . 65 . 000 people . We had to get there about 2 hours early to get a good place . Luckily , there was a " preliminar " game between the youth teams of Nacional and Peñarol , which ended Nacional 5 - Peñarol 0 , so we weren 't too bored ; - ) On minute 26 , penalty for Peñarol . Bengoechea took it , and it was record vs record . Nacional keeper Munua was trying for the record of the most minutes without receiving goals , and if Bengoechea scored , he would have the record of the Peñarol player who scored the most goals against Nacional . He scored : - ( It seems we fans were really looking forward to Munua getting a new record , since someone the mood after that was more appropriate for a team that was receiving a thrashing than for one ahead by one goal . For the rest of the first half , Nacional looked a bit depressed , and Munua had to save a couple of Peñarol attempts . They looked better in the second half , dominating the game and scoring ( Abreu again ! ) on the 30th minute . The remaining 15 minutes were just celebration . There are only 3 games left and Nacional is 9 points ahead of Peñarol , who are # 2 in the standings . Just one more point and we 're the Champions . Now I 'm wondering if I should go to Punta del Este next weekend , as I was planning or just stay here , go to the stadium and ( hopefully ) celebrate the championship and then Sunday night play " comments chat " with Hermione and Guada .
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With Chance of a Lifetime , I 've exhausted my cache of unread Jayne Ann Krentz titles . Rachel Wilder believed that investigator Abraham Chance had made her sister the scapegoat in an embezzlement scam , and she decided to do something , she didn 't know what . When she showed up unexpected at his rundown home , and he mistook her for the new housekeeper , Rachel went along with his mistake . It didn 't take Chance long to figure out that Rachel was no housekeeper . He decided that she had a secret , and he desperately wanted to know what it was , almost as much as he wanted her for himself . Rachel found herself falling passionately for this man who was supposed to be the enemy . Surely this man wasn 't responsible for her sister 's problem ? Nothing too spectacular here , but it did have some elements I especially liked . It was a B for me . I really liked Chance . Luckily , the mistaken identity plot is not taken too far . He knows she 's not who she says she is , and isn 't angry , just wants to know everything about her because he 's fast becoming more and more attracted to her and needs her to trust him . I appreciated the fact that , at first , he thinks she 's running from someone and wants her to know that she 's safe at Snowball 's Chance , and trust him . Rachel was likeable , too . It 's pefectly reasonable that she believed her sister when she told her Chance was responsible for her problems , and I was pleasantly surprised that she almost immediately started doubting this , when she got to know Chance better . It was interesting to see Chance deal with his family . His sister was nicely symmetrical to Rachel 's sister , both whiny brats who needed to grow up and stop relying on their older siblings to deal with their problems . Having Chances mom and Mindy 's new boyfriend be decent people was a nice touch , and much better than if the whole family had been a dysfunctional nightmare . Oh , and a little detail that I found funny : his sister called Chance by his last name too . Doesn 't that sound weird ? As always , I had a problem with the suspense subploRead more . . . This year I 've been reading many more anthlogies than I used to . The latest was The Further Observations of Lady Whistledown . The first story was , IMO , the weakest : ONE TRUE LOVE , by Suzanne Enoch - C + : Lady Anne Bishop , who has been engaged since childhood to Maximilian Trent - Marquis of Halfurst . Maximilian 's estates are in Yorkshire , and Anne 's life is set squarely in London . Anne is taking advantage of her long - standing engagement with the fiancé she has never seen by essentially doing whatever she wants , within the confines of society . Maximilian has heard of some of her ( rather mild ) exploits and has come down to London to reclaim his bride . Only to find when he got there that he actually desires his bride , and wants her to choose him over the suitors she doesn 't seem to be aware that she has collected . Rather than bully his way into her life , he sets out to win her love . This one wasn 't very successful in showing that our protagonists are in love . He sees her and he wants her and that 's it , they 're definitely getting married ! Additionally , the whole setup ( her otherwise sensible , loving father betrothing his daughter at birth , just because ) smelled of plot contrivance . I didn 't get why Maximillian was so ready to marry the woman his father had chosen for him . . . Enoch gives no explanation for that . Still , I kind of liked how Maximillian realized he wanted Anne to actually want to marry him , not do so to fulfill an obligation , and how he decided to woo her . Oh , and they compromised on where to live , that adds some points . My favourite was the second story , TWO HEARTS , by Karen Hawkins - A + Handsome , dashing Sir Royce Pemberley has had Miss Liza Pritchard as his best friend for over 20 years . What will he do when that intrepid lady decides it 's time to marry and sets her sights on someone Royce believes is entriely inappropriate ? A delightful story . In this one , I did believe that Liza and Royce were in love , and the way this came about was oh - so - romantic . I 'm a sucker for friends - falling - in - love stories , and thiRead more . . . In spite of the fact that I didn 't like Fern , the second installment in Leigh Greenwood 's Seven Brides series , I read # 3 , Iris . I didn 't like it much either : it gets a C - from me : Monty Randolph plans to take a herd to Wyoming . He means to start a ranch for the family and one for himself so he can get out from under the irritating and watchful eye of his older brother , George . He 's determined that nothing will stop him from succeeding , especially his neighbor , Iris Richmond , who wants him to take her herd to Wyoming along with his . The last thing he needs is a southern belle , steeped in flirting and vanity , on the filthy , exhausting trek over a thousand miles of dangerous , unsettled country . Her kind is strictly for looking at , not for buying . Neither does he need double the cows and double the responsibility . He already as three brothers along to worry about . Iris Richmond has nothing left of her father 's fortune but a herd of cows . And if she doesn 't get them to Wyoming , rustlers are going to take that . When Monty refuses to take her along , she puts her herd on the trail ahead of him and mixes the herds together . The continual danger of stampedes , rustlers , and Indian attacks drive the couple together , forming a relationship neither welcomes nor is able to deny . Beset by a thieving foreman and a long lost brother , Monty is the only person Iris can trust . And she means to trust him whether he likes it or not . Like in Fern , these people make no sense . I was fascinated by the setting and the info about the cattle drive , otherwise , this would have been a D . The book was worth slogging through just for Greenwood 's research , but as a romance it was a failure . The romance was stupid . Iris was stupid , feisty and stubborn and made nonsensical decisions just to further the plot . Monty would have been an interesting character , but his characterization had the same flaw . The worst part was the end , when a sexist " feel " seemed to take over , with Iris meeting a widow named Betty and realizing she ( Iris , that is ) wasn 't " what a Read more . . . FridayFive questions for today : 1 . How are you planning to spend the summer [ winter ] ? It 's winter in my case , and I won 't have a vacation , so nothing special for me ! 2 . What was your first summer job ? I 've talked about this one before : I worked as an English - language city tour guide for the passengers of cruise ships arriving at Montevideo . It was only a few days a month , and it paid pretty well , plus I had fun and got to know lots of people . 3 . If you could go anywhere this summer [ winter ] , where would you go ? My friend Monica is going to be travelling through Europe and parts of the Middle East for a month and a half ( she 's leaving on Saturday , so I went for dinner to her house last night and she showed me her itinerary . Wonderful ! ) . I guess if I could , I 'd go with her . 4 . What was your worst vacation ever ? I don 't remember any big disasters . Maybe January before last , a tiny apartment in Punta del Este with my whole family . You don 't want to be in the same apartment with my mother and only one TV . She has the worst taste ever in TV programming , and she 'll listen to her choices at full blast . 5 . What was your best vacation ever ? Either this last February in La Floresta ( very peaceful , I did nothing but sunbathe and read for 3 weeks ) or 2 weeks in Europe in 1994 . I 've long been curious about Science Fiction , and a few people have recommended Lois McMaster Bujold . I started with the first novel in the Vorkosigan series , Shards of Honor . First novel in the popular series that begins with the inauspicious meeting of Betan astrocartographer Cordelia Naismith and Barrayaran Captain Aral Vorkosigan during a treacherous war . As captor and prisoner on an abandoned outpost planet , the honorable captain and the resolute scientist must rely on each others ' trust to survive a trek across dangerous terrain , thus sparking a relationship that shares the struggles of culture and politics between their worlds . My first experience definitely won 't be my last , this one was an A - . I loved the attention devoted to the world - building , though I think I might like even better something with less intrincate political intrigue . Even so , even I could follow this one easily , so it was pretty ok . Of course , good , interesting universes and adventure aren 't enough for me . SoH succeeded because it also had wonderful characterization . I especially liked Cordelia . She was strong and sensible and no - nonsense , but also compassionate and kind . All that , and a nice self - deprecating sense of humour . Aral Vorkosigan was a bit more of a cipher , since we didn 't get his POV , but I liked what I saw through Cordelia 's eyes ( and , given the discussion we had about sympathetic homosexual characters on one of AAR 's message boards , where someone wondered why we never see heros or heroines that have had any kind of same - sex sexual experience in the past , I found it especially interesting that there 's a hint of it in Aral 's backstory . I had 0 problem with this , in case you 're wondering ! ) I think I 'm going to start doing the " Answer 5 questions on your blog every Friday " thing . I can 't decide whether to use the questions at FridayFive or Las 5 del Viernes ( duly translated into English , of course ) . Thanks Hermione for the url ! Anyway , it 's not Friday , but here are last week 's questions : 1 . Is your hair naturally curly , wavy , or straight ? Long or short ? Wavy , with LOTS of volume . It 's also very heavy , and there 's a lot of it . It 's short , with the front part a bit longer , " to frame my face " . 2 . How has your hair changed over your lifetime ? I wore it loooong ( almost to my waist ) until 2 years ago , when I got sick to death of spending hours untangling it and drying it . I went to the hairstylist and told the guy " Do what you want , I just want it short " . He actually spent a couple of minutes just staring at all the hair , telling me how this was every stylist 's dream ! First thing he did , before he started " styling " , was cut most of the hair whole , and give it to me . I made a falsie with it , which I sometimes wear when I want a different look . As for colours , it 's now at my natural brown , but it 's been blond , red and black . 3 . How do your normally wear your hair ? I never do anything with it ( unless I have a wedding , or some type of formal party ) . I only towel - dry it a bit after washing it and then let it dry naturally . I either leave it loose or wear a couple of barrettes to keep it away from my face . 4 . If you could change your hair this minute , what would it look like ? I 've always wanted straight , straight hair , with absolutely no waves and almost no volume . That 's what I get it to look like for special occasions . I don 't mind the color , I actually like my natural color best . 5 . Ever had a hair disaster ? What happened ? One word : perm ! I was 14 , and the stylist managed to convince me that she had a new product that would give me permanent ringlets . It didn 't , my hair just looked frizzy and I wore a ponytail for a couple of years straight . Read more . . . The next book I read was Susan Elizabeth Phillips ' Breathing Room . Lorenzo ( Ren ) Gage is a devilishly handsome movie star , best known for his villainous roles onscreen and his playboy antics off . Isabel Favor is a tightly wound self - help guru and author of The Four Cornerstones of a Favorable Life whose own perfect life has recently come crashing down around her . Both have come to Italy to escape the endless rehashes of their latest misfortunes in the public eye , and the equally endless drone of self - criticism . Ren and Isabel meet under what can only be described as unusual circumstances , leaving each of them thinking , thankfully , they 'll never see the other again . Imagine their surprise when Isabel turns up on Ren 's doorstep , her much anticipated rental villa belonging to none other than her ill - advised one - night stand . As might be anticipated , their fiery antagonism soon breeds sparks of a different kind . Meanwhile , at the villa , all is not as it seems , and the two lovers find themselves playing amateur detectives , trying to untangle the strange behavior of the townspeople and of Ren 's hired caretaker . As if things weren 't complicated enough , Ren 's ex - wife , Tracy , suddenly appears on the scene pregnant and with several kids in tow , ushering in a subplot centering on the nature of marriage in the real world . I 've seen this book blasted so often in message boards , that I approached it with trepidation . I was very pleasantly surprised to find that it was a keeper for me . My grade is an A + , and it 's one of the best books I 've read this year , and one my fave SEPs so far . I haven 't heard of anyone online that actually liked Isabel , but I did , very much . Yes , she was a bit irritating , with her guru - speak and her praying everywhere and her insistence on always doing the right thing , but she meant well , and I appreciated how hard she worked , faced with horrible circumstances , to stay true to her convictions . Best of all , she wasn 't at all judgemental of other people . And BTW , about the praying and the fact that she called Read more . . . There are some books in my TBR pile that have been there for ages . Some , I know I 'll get to them eventually , but there are others that I look at and wonder what I was thinking when I bought them . Sometimes I like to just grab one of these and force myself to read it , even if it doesn 't sound appealing at first . I get mixed results with this . I did that with Forbidden Garden , for instance , and I 'm glad I read it . The one I tackled this weekend , though , wasn 't that good . I 'm glad I 'm read it too , but only because I can now add it to my Trade List instead of having it clutter my bookshelves . The book was Sweethearts of the Twilight Lanes , by Luanne JonesAs the doyenne of Simply Southern Magazine , Tess Redding is the soul of southern hospitality - - or at least to the world around Mount Circe , Georgia . But when bad boy Flynn Garvey roars back into town , Tess 's plans to leave Mount Circe are suddenly in danger of burning hotter than Atlanta after Sherman . Once upon a time the smooth - talking rebel broke her young heart , now Tess is just determined to have nothing to do with the mouth - watering , trouble - on - two - legs charmer . But then Tess and her best pals , the Sweethearts , begin to receive anonymous blackmail notes that threaten to expose their youthful follies . Having her old exploits with Flynn revealed is the last thing Tess 's sweeter - than - molasses image needs , and he is the only one who can help her . So all that 's left for Tess to do is put on her best pair of pumps , march right on up to the man . . . and fall in love all over again . My grade for it was a C - , and I think I 've learnt my lesson . No more Southern Fiction for me , I just don 't like it . For most of the book , I just couldn 't relate to the characters and their problems . Who were this people ? Do people like this really exist in this world ? I didn 't care what happened to them , and in fact , I think I didn 't even like them , Tess , with her Southern Living magazine , Wylene with her beauty pageant school and her daughters named Jolene and Brentelle , after her husband Joe Read more . . . Thursday 19th was a holiday here in Uruguay , the anniversary of the birth of our national hero , Josà © Artigas . I requested leave on Friday too , and I went on my own to Punta del Este for a little relaxation . It was horribly cold outside and there was nothing to do , so I just . . . read ! First , I reread Harry Potter # 4 , HP and the Goblet of Fire , to prepare for the release of # 5 ( I don 't know when I 'll be able to get it , but so far I 've been resisting the temptation to read spoilers ) . Well , what can I say that hasn 't been said a thousand times before ? It was excellent , and I liked it just as much as I did when I first read it . It 's imaginative , intriguing , exciting , dark , and very definitely not just a children 's book . There were quite a few details I didn 't remember well , especially about the dà © nouement , so I 'm very glad I read it . I can 't wait ! ( and Hermione , you can 't imagine how much I envy you ! ! ) I was terribly embarrassed the other day on my way to work . I was on the bus , sitting next to this old guy , and when he got to his stop and started to get up , he said " Excuse me , please " . The interesting thing was that he said it in English ! I was a bit taken aback by this , because the guy obviously wasn 't an English speaker ( his accent was pretty atrocious , if I may be unkind ) . So why did he speak to me in English ? Uh - oh , he must have noticed I was reading a book in that language ( of course I was reading ! What do normal people do on buses ? ) . And I say " uh - oh " because I was reading a romance , and I 'd spent most of my trip reading a sex scene . The poor man must have got an eyeful ! During the weekend , I read The Dark on the Other Side , by Barbara MichaelsWhen writer Michael Collins arrives at the home of celebrity Renaissance Man and millionaire Gordon Randolph to start the man 's biography , he can 't help but notice that his wife Linda seems to be both hateful toward her husband and terrified of something she can 't name . As he starts doing his research into Randolph 's background he finds some disturbing but enigmatic results . Then Linda , whom her husband claims is insane , runs away and keeps running , with a bizarre old witch as her only solid ally . But Linda has a counter - claim about Randolph , that implies something far darker and more horrifying than mere insanity . This was a good read , but not one of Michaels ' best . A B for me . The supernatural plot was a bit too nebulous , basically . It was never too clear exactly what was going on . This is something that Michaels has got better at with time . Also , the final scene was a bit anticlimatic and felt too rushed . The best thing about TDOTOS was the way Michaels paced it , gradually introducing enough clues so that the reader started realizing something was very wrong , and then what it might be . Michael 's awareness of what was going on proceeded at a similar pace , and Linda 's personality was revealed gradually too . At the beginning she seemed to be in a very fragile mental state , so it was great to see her show she wasn 't crazy and behave like the strong woman she was . Fun chore for Sunday morning : I 've been going through my bookshelves looking for books to add to my Trade List . So far I 've found : To the Ends of the Earth , by Elizabeth Lowell : this one was first published in 1983 , and it 's pretty much vintage Lowell . It feels very , very dated . I remember it had a nice grovel scene at the the end , and that 's why I was keeping it . To be honest , I don 't think I could bear to read the book again in order to get to the grovel scene , so into my TL it goes . The Bride Fair , by Cheryl Reavis : I don 't seem to be able to connect to Reavis ' characters . This book was interesting , but I never cared about the characters and what was happening to them . I also remember being bothered by the brattish children . A Place to Call Home , by Deborah Smith : I know many people love this one , but I didn 't really like it . I kinda liked the first part , IIRC , but the second half was bo - ring ! I 'm not really a fan of Southern fiction ( understatement of the year ! ) I 've a costume party tonight ! ! ! What 's the occasion , you ask ? Absolutely nothing . A friend of mine just got it into her head to organise one so she just did . Now my problem is that I only remembered about the " costume " part an hour ago , so I haven 't planned anything . I think I might end up wearing an old Korean thingy ( is a kimono only Japanese ? ) my mom bought when she went there 20 years ago . I 'm going to freeze my ass off , but it 's either that or an old can - can dancer outfit ( what was my mother thinking when she bought that ? ? ? ) For some reason , I violently disliked Julia London 's Wicked Angel ( excerpt ) . I usually finish every book , but for the second time in a couple of weeks , I decided not to finish one . She raced across the pasture , vaulted a fence , and landed , stunned and breathless , on top of the most handsome man she had ever seen . The bemused stranger stayed to capture the fancy of the brood of orphaned children in her charge , then stole Lauren Hill 's heart with a searing kiss as he left . Lauren couldn 't tell him she was a widowed countess fallen on hard times . She tried to forget him - - until she saw him again at a London ball . The man who haunted her dreams was a duke , out of her class . . . and he was pledged to another woman . The ton is ablaze with talk of the ravishing Bavarian countess . Stunned , Alexander Christian , Duke of Sutherland , recognizes Lauren as the country girl who 's captured his heart . Duty has forced him to pledge himself to another , to take his proper place in society and in Parliament . He wants one night with his blue - eyed enchantress , but will he be able to walk away from her again , or will he risk it all to be with the woman who fires his blood and makes him think of a . . . Wicked Angel . I tried , I swear ! I read some 150 pages before I chucked it , but I just couldn 't go on . I 'd already set it down about 50 pages before , but I had convinced myself I had to finish it , but enough ! I have too many more books waiting for me . Plus , there 's another trader I know wants this one , and she always trades me for books on my Wish List , so I don 't feel as guilty as I 'd normally feel ! What made me hate this so much ? Well , again , I found a book that pushed all my hot buttons . Many of the problems I had would have been bearable alone , but the accumulation was too much . Case in point , the virgin widow . I 'd rather not have to read about this character , but I 've been known to like some ( see , My Lady 's Pleasure , or Wicked Widow ) . Here , it irritated me to no end . Oh , and I hated Lauren . She 's so good ! Stupid kind of good , of course , theRead more . . . Continuing with Leigh Greenwood 's Seven Brides Series , I read book # 2 , Fern . Fern Sproull , a young , swaggering opinionated ruffian , dressing and behaving like a cowboy , is determined Hen Randolph will hang for killing her cousin . She 's equally determined that a fancy lawyer named Madison Randolph isn 't going to get his brother off . Fern has spent the last eight years of her life outriding , out shooting , and out cussing every man in her path , and she 's not about to let the man who murdered her cousin get off just because he 's one of the Texas Randolphs . But how is she going to know what tricks Madison gets up to unless she follows him around ? Madison Randolph , the brother who abandoned his younger orphaned siblings to go to Harvard during the Civil War , has come to Abilene , Kansas to defend his brother against a murder charge . There 's not much love lost between Madison and his family , but he 's certain Hen isn 't a murderer and he doesn 't mean to let him hang . The fact that an obnoxious female who dresses like a man and acts even worse intends to stop him only encourages him to prove he 's the very best at what he does . The suave , sophisticated Madison is appalled , first to discover that under all that dirt and bluster is a woman , and secondly , that he 's intrigued by her . But Madison soon discovers the female isn 't so obnoxious after all and that the ties of blood can never be broken . This one was not even remotely as good as Rose . I 'd give it a C at best , and I 'm actually grading up because I like the author 's writing style , which immediately sucks me into the story and keeps me reading even when I 'm wanting to tear my hair out because of some plot point . I 'm also giving the book extra points because I find the setting very interesting . It 's not the stereotypical " Western " setting , full of saloons and gunfighters , and the author manages to create a vivid world in which his characters live . I also liked the main plotline : I was intrigued by Fern 's cousin murder , and I liked that the mystery subplot didn 't overshadow tRead more . . . This weekend I read A Dash of Temptation , by Jo Leigh , a Harlequin Blaze . Tess Norton knows that Dash Black is way out of her league . She just looks after his houseplants , for heaven 's sake . But she can 't resist a sizzling fling with the sexy media king before she settles for Mr . Ordinary someday . Dash has never experienced a woman like Tess in his life . Hot … sweet … sinful , she occupies his bed - and his mind - day after day . She 's a welcome distraction in theNew York frenzy that he calls home . For Tess , he knows he 's just a man to do . Not a man to marry . But sometimes sex and romance can get all mixed up when you least expect it . … I like Leigh 's voice and style . She feels modern , and her heroines are more real and modern than most . This was something I liked in this book , though I had a couple of problems with it . A B - . What I liked : - Likeable , modern characters : a genuinely nice hero and a heroine who was pretty strong and driven - Characters who had interesting occupations ( Tess , for instance , owned a plant - care business ) - Very hot love scenes - The whole book had a romantic , Cinderellaish feel - Character - driven romance , the best kind . No villain to kidnap the heroine here . What I didn 't like : - A heroine who at times felt much too star - struck by the hero . . . which meant a relationship that felt a bit unequal ( the flip side of the Cinderella thing I mentioned - Name dropping . An awful lot of it . The hero had dated ( and slept with ) Julia ( Roberts , of course ) and Sandy ( Bullock , who did you think ) , and the author went on ( and on ! ) about the famous characters at the parties Dash and Tess attended . - The kind - of villain was out of Central Casting : the Rich Bitch , who badmouthed Tess to a potential investor , because . . . . just because . - The rush to marriage . These two had a future , but I didn 't really think they were at the getting married stage just yet . Why , oh why do romance novels have to finish in marriage ? Read more . . . Next , I reread The Gentleman Thief , by Deborah Simmons . I adored this book when I first read it last year , so I lent it to my friend . She hated it . Really , really hated it . Hated Georgiana , hated the plot , everything . I decided to reread this , then , to see if I felt any differently about it . Why her family had elected to spend an entire season in boring Bath , Georgiana Bellewether couldn 't fathom . Nothing to stimulate her inquisitive mind ever happened here - until the night Lady Culpepper 's emeralds were stolen ! Now , if only she could keep her mind on the case and her hands off the enigmatic man in black - the beguiling Lord Ashdowne . . . ! As the newly made , ever - responsible Marquis of Ashdowne , Johnathon Saxton bemoaned the lack of excitement now marking his days . But when quixotic , exotic Georgiana Bellewether literally stumbled into his arms , he knew he 'd caught himself an armful . The woman was a disaster in the making ! Well , I still loved it . An A . It was one of the funniest books I 've ever read , and one of the most refreshing . Georgiana was an excellent character . She reminded me a bit of Phoebe , from SEP 's It Had to be You , in that they were both brilliant women who looked like ditzy sexbombs . Georgiana , however , actually was a bit ditzy . Ditzy and brilliant , I didn 't think someone could write that successfully . The main focus of the book was Georgiana and Ashdowne 's relationship , which was a riot . I loved the way Ashdowne started realizing that she wasn 't exactly what she seemed . I LOLed at his horror when he noticed her thought processes were beginning to make sense to him . ; - ) This was a very sensual book . There actually was only one real sex scene , and it wasn 't too graphic , but Simmons succeeded in creating beautiful sensual tension . And that scene in the Baths , whew ! ! * fanning myself * I remember I was a bit doubtful about buying this book at first because of the thief angle . Thief protagonists are usually a turn - off for me . Maybe I 'm a bit rigid , but stealing because you need the excitement , even if it 's froRead more . . . I can 't believe I haven 't posted in so many days . I 've read a bunch of books since that last post , so I 'll try to be brief ( yeah , right ! ) . First of all , Search the Shadows , by Barbara MichaelsWhen twenty - two - year - old Haskell Malone accidentally discovers damning proof that the dead was hero whose name she bears is not her father , she is shattered . The revelation only confirms the dark fear that has haunted her since childhood . In fact , what little she knows about her birth and her mother 's subsequent death , is a fragile web of evasions and lies . Determined to expose the truth at any cost , Haskell takes a job at Chicago 's famed Oriental Institute in the city where her mother once lived and loved . But as she searched the shadows of the past , she finds that the truth can sometimes be deadly . A good one , a B + for me . As I posted a little while ago , I tend to group Michaels ' books into several categories . This particular one would be straight suspense , with nary a sign of the supernatural . I like the creepy ghost stories best of all , but this is still Barbara Michaels after all , so it was still an excellent read . As in every one of the author 's books , the atmosphere was incredible . The huge , creepy mansion , the strange characters , the young heroine . . . very gothic . I also found the mystery very engaging . The best part was the heroine . The book was written in 1st person POV , which only succeeds if the narrator is interesting . Haskell was . I just love Michaels ' voice , whether she 's writing under that name or as Elizabeth Peters . Her sense of humour shines through , and it 's a kind of humour I find beautifully effective . It 's never forced , it just springs naturally from the situations described . Earlier this week I read Lady of Desire , by Gaelen Foley , book # 4 in the Knight Miscellany series . My favourite in that series so far is Lord of Fire , and LOD hasn 't supplanted it in my preferences . It was a B - , while LOF was an A - . Impetuous Lady Jacinda Knight is the daughter of a scandalous woman - - and Society predicts she 'll follow in her mother 's footsteps . Then one night , in flight from an arranged and loveless marriage , Jacinda finds herself alone on a dangerous street face - to - face with Billy Blade , the notorious leader of a band of thieves . His stolen kisses awaken in her a longing for a man she can never possess . A handsome outlaw running from a secret past , Billy Blade has never met a woman like Jacinda - - her fiery innocence and blossoming sensuality set his rebel 's heart ablaze . Having turned his back on the privilege and power of his tyrannical father 's house years before , he vows to return to reclaim his title , Earl of Rackford - - to win the love of the ravishing beauty who has stolen his heart . I enjoyed LOD . Analysing it , I can think of quite a few flaws and things that bugged the hell out of me , but the fact remains that , on the whole , it left a positive impression . Jacinda was 18 and she behaved 18 . We should get this fact out of the way right now : she wasn 't fully mature at all , and had a long way to go . Thing is , I 'm not opposed to reading about young heroines per se , the problem is that they are so often paired with heros much older and more mature than them . When this happens , 99 % of the times the relationship ends up not being among equals , and feels almost like daddy - little girl . Creepy stuff . Here , however , Jacinda and Billy were equals . Billy was just a big boy . He had been forced to behave grown up in a rush when he started living on the streets of London at age 13 , but inside , I didn 't feel he was that much more mature than Jacinda . Their relationship was very fun to read about . They genuinely liked each other and enjoyed each other 's company . Plus , Foley created such great sensual tension thatRead more . . . Turns out the Uruguayan NT plays a friendly against South Korea next Sunday , so Nacional won 't be playing this weekend . Which means I 'll be spending the weekend in Punta del Este and won 't be here for Operación Triunfo comments chat : - ( Hmm , maybe I could borrow my uncle 's laptop and take it with me ? I can 't very well tell him what I really want it for , but I 'm sure I can come up with a good excuse before Friday ! I 'm very careful when choosing category books to read . Picky , picky , picky . I only buy them when they come highly recommended by someone I trust . Years ago , I used to go down to the newstand and buy loads of Harlequins ( Spanish translations ) , just from reading the back cover blurbs . I managed to read such stinkers that way ! I 've only kept 4 or 5 books from that part of my reading life . I thought it might be a good idea to give a category a chance at random , just to see if I managed to hit a winner . So , I grabbed my friend 's list of books and just stabbed at it , then asked her to loan me that one . I 'm sad to say I did not hit a winner . In fact , I tossed it at page 30 . The book was Accidental Roommate , by Charlotte Maclay , and it managed to find all my hot buttons and punch them for all it was worth . Hannah Jansen lives with her father and helps him run the local hardware store in her excruciatingly small town . And at 28 , Hannah is sick to death of being wholesome and dependable . A break in the big city is just what she needs . When her hotel mixes up her reservations and puts her in the same room as rancher Holt Janson , Hannah considers her options . Now fate has given her an honest - to - goodness sex symbol for a roommate ! Ok , so I start the book . . . uh - huh , a 28 year old virgin . Lovely . Wonder if she 'll have a real reason to be a virgin at that age . Maybe she wants to save it for her husband ? Maybe she 's religious ? Even though I don 't feel that way , at least it will be plausible ! Nope , doesn 't seem like it . She lives in a small town and , even though she 's quite attractive , she never had an opportunity to have sex . Right , ok . Strike # 1 against the book . So she 's at her hotel room and when she comes out of the bathroom she finds a man in the room . Short tussle ( in which the author doesn 't make her look like too much of an idiot , good for her ! ) and they explain . H . Jansen and H . Janson . I guess it 's possible that the hotel concierges would make such a mistake and give them the same room . Downstairs it is , to ask the conciRead more . . . I don 't read Westerns , but I was intrigued by certain comments about Leigh Greenwood 's Seven Brides Series . Since it turns out a friend has the entire series , I borrowed the first entry , Rose , out of curiosity . George Randolph , the oldest brother and patriarch of the family , needs someone to wash , cook , and clean for the brothers on their Texas ranch . Rose Thornton accepts that job . She arrives at the homestead to find six men ranging in ages from six to twenty - four years old . The house looks like it hasn 't been cleaned in years , the clothes practically stand up and beg to be washed , and everything in the kitchen is black with soot and grease . She soon discovers she 's in the midst of a truly dysfunctional family . The brothers don 't seem to like anybody , and that includes each other . They don 't much like Rose , either . Once they learn her father was an officer in the Union Army , they vote to send her back to town . George Randolph was an officer in the Confederate army . He feels responsible for his family , but wants to rejoin the army , the only time when his life was ordered and predictable . Rose sets out to convince George that he 's not only a father figure to his brothers , he really wants a family of his own . With her . At the same time seeks ways to repair the fragile bonds that hold this family together . I liked it , it was a B . I did find some problems , but it wasn 't that I was dissatisfied with what made it a Western , just that certain things in the story didn 't completely work for me . I 'll very definitely read the rest of the series , since I really liked the characters ( call me snobbish , but on the whole , I don 't like to read about uneducated characters ) , the feel of the book and the type of story ( i . e . not a lot of emphasis on gunfights ) and the author 's voice . I was surprised to see how fast I was sucked into the story . It was very definitely not fast - paced and a big part of the book is Rose doing housework , plus , her getting settled at the ranch , the development of the brothers ' relationship between themselves aRead more . . . The stadium was completely full . . . 65 . 000 people . We had to get there about 2 hours early to get a good place . Luckily , there was a " preliminar " game between the youth teams of Nacional and Peñarol , which ended Nacional 5 - Peñarol 0 , so we weren 't too bored ; - ) On minute 26 , penalty for Peñarol . Bengoechea took it , and it was record vs record . Nacional keeper Munua was trying for the record of the most minutes without receiving goals , and if Bengoechea scored , he would have the record of the Peñarol player who scored the most goals against Nacional . He scored : - ( It seems we fans were really looking forward to Munua getting a new record , since someone the mood after that was more appropriate for a team that was receiving a thrashing than for one ahead by one goal . For the rest of the first half , Nacional looked a bit depressed , and Munua had to save a couple of Peñarol attempts . They looked better in the second half , dominating the game and scoring ( Abreu again ! ) on the 30th minute . The remaining 15 minutes were just celebration . There are only 3 games left and Nacional is 9 points ahead of Peñarol , who are # 2 in the standings . Just one more point and we 're the Champions . Now I 'm wondering if I should go to Punta del Este next weekend , as I was planning or just stay here , go to the stadium and ( hopefully ) celebrate the championship and then Sunday night play " comments chat " with Hermione and Guada .
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With Chance of a Lifetime , I 've exhausted my cache of unread Jayne Ann Krentz titles . Rachel Wilder believed that investigator Abraham Chance had made her sister the scapegoat in an embezzlement scam , and she decided to do something , she didn 't know what . When she showed up unexpected at his rundown home , and he mistook her for the new housekeeper , Rachel went along with his mistake . It didn 't take Chance long to figure out that Rachel was no housekeeper . He decided that she had a secret , and he desperately wanted to know what it was , almost as much as he wanted her for himself . Rachel found herself falling passionately for this man who was supposed to be the enemy . Surely this man wasn 't responsible for her sister 's problem ? Nothing too spectacular here , but it did have some elements I especially liked . It was a B for me . I really liked Chance . Luckily , the mistaken identity plot is not taken too far . He knows she 's not who she says she is , and isn 't angry , just wants to know everything about her because he 's fast becoming more and more attracted to her and needs her to trust him . I appreciated the fact that , at first , he thinks she 's running from someone and wants her to know that she 's safe at Snowball 's Chance , and trust him . Rachel was likeable , too . It 's pefectly reasonable that she believed her sister when she told her Chance was responsible for her problems , and I was pleasantly surprised that she almost immediately started doubting this , when she got to know Chance better . It was interesting to see Chance deal with his family . His sister was nicely symmetrical to Rachel 's sister , both whiny brats who needed to grow up and stop relying on their older siblings to deal with their problems . Having Chances mom and Mindy 's new boyfriend be decent people was a nice touch , and much better than if the whole family had been a dysfunctional nightmare . Oh , and a little detail that I found funny : his sister called Chance by his last name too . Doesn 't that sound weird ? As always , I had a problem with the suspense subploRead more . . . This year I 've been reading many more anthlogies than I used to . The latest was The Further Observations of Lady Whistledown . The first story was , IMO , the weakest : ONE TRUE LOVE , by Suzanne Enoch - C + : Lady Anne Bishop , who has been engaged since childhood to Maximilian Trent - Marquis of Halfurst . Maximilian 's estates are in Yorkshire , and Anne 's life is set squarely in London . Anne is taking advantage of her long - standing engagement with the fiancé she has never seen by essentially doing whatever she wants , within the confines of society . Maximilian has heard of some of her ( rather mild ) exploits and has come down to London to reclaim his bride . Only to find when he got there that he actually desires his bride , and wants her to choose him over the suitors she doesn 't seem to be aware that she has collected . Rather than bully his way into her life , he sets out to win her love . This one wasn 't very successful in showing that our protagonists are in love . He sees her and he wants her and that 's it , they 're definitely getting married ! Additionally , the whole setup ( her otherwise sensible , loving father betrothing his daughter at birth , just because ) smelled of plot contrivance . I didn 't get why Maximillian was so ready to marry the woman his father had chosen for him . . . Enoch gives no explanation for that . Still , I kind of liked how Maximillian realized he wanted Anne to actually want to marry him , not do so to fulfill an obligation , and how he decided to woo her . Oh , and they compromised on where to live , that adds some points . My favourite was the second story , TWO HEARTS , by Karen Hawkins - A + Handsome , dashing Sir Royce Pemberley has had Miss Liza Pritchard as his best friend for over 20 years . What will he do when that intrepid lady decides it 's time to marry and sets her sights on someone Royce believes is entriely inappropriate ? A delightful story . In this one , I did believe that Liza and Royce were in love , and the way this came about was oh - so - romantic . I 'm a sucker for friends - falling - in - love stories , and thiRead more . . . In spite of the fact that I didn 't like Fern , the second installment in Leigh Greenwood 's Seven Brides series , I read # 3 , Iris . I didn 't like it much either : it gets a C - from me : Monty Randolph plans to take a herd to Wyoming . He means to start a ranch for the family and one for himself so he can get out from under the irritating and watchful eye of his older brother , George . He 's determined that nothing will stop him from succeeding , especially his neighbor , Iris Richmond , who wants him to take her herd to Wyoming along with his . The last thing he needs is a southern belle , steeped in flirting and vanity , on the filthy , exhausting trek over a thousand miles of dangerous , unsettled country . Her kind is strictly for looking at , not for buying . Neither does he need double the cows and double the responsibility . He already as three brothers along to worry about . Iris Richmond has nothing left of her father 's fortune but a herd of cows . And if she doesn 't get them to Wyoming , rustlers are going to take that . When Monty refuses to take her along , she puts her herd on the trail ahead of him and mixes the herds together . The continual danger of stampedes , rustlers , and Indian attacks drive the couple together , forming a relationship neither welcomes nor is able to deny . Beset by a thieving foreman and a long lost brother , Monty is the only person Iris can trust . And she means to trust him whether he likes it or not . Like in Fern , these people make no sense . I was fascinated by the setting and the info about the cattle drive , otherwise , this would have been a D . The book was worth slogging through just for Greenwood 's research , but as a romance it was a failure . The romance was stupid . Iris was stupid , feisty and stubborn and made nonsensical decisions just to further the plot . Monty would have been an interesting character , but his characterization had the same flaw . The worst part was the end , when a sexist " feel " seemed to take over , with Iris meeting a widow named Betty and realizing she ( Iris , that is ) wasn 't " what a Read more . . . FridayFive questions for today : 1 . How are you planning to spend the summer [ winter ] ? It 's winter in my case , and I won 't have a vacation , so nothing special for me ! 2 . What was your first summer job ? I 've talked about this one before : I worked as an English - language city tour guide for the passengers of cruise ships arriving at Montevideo . It was only a few days a month , and it paid pretty well , plus I had fun and got to know lots of people . 3 . If you could go anywhere this summer [ winter ] , where would you go ? My friend Monica is going to be travelling through Europe and parts of the Middle East for a month and a half ( she 's leaving on Saturday , so I went for dinner to her house last night and she showed me her itinerary . Wonderful ! ) . I guess if I could , I 'd go with her . 4 . What was your worst vacation ever ? I don 't remember any big disasters . Maybe January before last , a tiny apartment in Punta del Este with my whole family . You don 't want to be in the same apartment with my mother and only one TV . She has the worst taste ever in TV programming , and she 'll listen to her choices at full blast . 5 . What was your best vacation ever ? Either this last February in La Floresta ( very peaceful , I did nothing but sunbathe and read for 3 weeks ) or 2 weeks in Europe in 1994 . I 've long been curious about Science Fiction , and a few people have recommended Lois McMaster Bujold . I started with the first novel in the Vorkosigan series , Shards of Honor . First novel in the popular series that begins with the inauspicious meeting of Betan astrocartographer Cordelia Naismith and Barrayaran Captain Aral Vorkosigan during a treacherous war . As captor and prisoner on an abandoned outpost planet , the honorable captain and the resolute scientist must rely on each others ' trust to survive a trek across dangerous terrain , thus sparking a relationship that shares the struggles of culture and politics between their worlds . My first experience definitely won 't be my last , this one was an A - . I loved the attention devoted to the world - building , though I think I might like even better something with less intrincate political intrigue . Even so , even I could follow this one easily , so it was pretty ok . Of course , good , interesting universes and adventure aren 't enough for me . SoH succeeded because it also had wonderful characterization . I especially liked Cordelia . She was strong and sensible and no - nonsense , but also compassionate and kind . All that , and a nice self - deprecating sense of humour . Aral Vorkosigan was a bit more of a cipher , since we didn 't get his POV , but I liked what I saw through Cordelia 's eyes ( and , given the discussion we had about sympathetic homosexual characters on one of AAR 's message boards , where someone wondered why we never see heros or heroines that have had any kind of same - sex sexual experience in the past , I found it especially interesting that there 's a hint of it in Aral 's backstory . I had 0 problem with this , in case you 're wondering ! ) I think I 'm going to start doing the " Answer 5 questions on your blog every Friday " thing . I can 't decide whether to use the questions at FridayFive or Las 5 del Viernes ( duly translated into English , of course ) . Thanks Hermione for the url ! Anyway , it 's not Friday , but here are last week 's questions : 1 . Is your hair naturally curly , wavy , or straight ? Long or short ? Wavy , with LOTS of volume . It 's also very heavy , and there 's a lot of it . It 's short , with the front part a bit longer , " to frame my face " . 2 . How has your hair changed over your lifetime ? I wore it loooong ( almost to my waist ) until 2 years ago , when I got sick to death of spending hours untangling it and drying it . I went to the hairstylist and told the guy " Do what you want , I just want it short " . He actually spent a couple of minutes just staring at all the hair , telling me how this was every stylist 's dream ! First thing he did , before he started " styling " , was cut most of the hair whole , and give it to me . I made a falsie with it , which I sometimes wear when I want a different look . As for colours , it 's now at my natural brown , but it 's been blond , red and black . 3 . How do your normally wear your hair ? I never do anything with it ( unless I have a wedding , or some type of formal party ) . I only towel - dry it a bit after washing it and then let it dry naturally . I either leave it loose or wear a couple of barrettes to keep it away from my face . 4 . If you could change your hair this minute , what would it look like ? I 've always wanted straight , straight hair , with absolutely no waves and almost no volume . That 's what I get it to look like for special occasions . I don 't mind the color , I actually like my natural color best . 5 . Ever had a hair disaster ? What happened ? One word : perm ! I was 14 , and the stylist managed to convince me that she had a new product that would give me permanent ringlets . It didn 't , my hair just looked frizzy and I wore a ponytail for a couple of years straight . Read more . . . The next book I read was Susan Elizabeth Phillips ' Breathing Room . Lorenzo ( Ren ) Gage is a devilishly handsome movie star , best known for his villainous roles onscreen and his playboy antics off . Isabel Favor is a tightly wound self - help guru and author of The Four Cornerstones of a Favorable Life whose own perfect life has recently come crashing down around her . Both have come to Italy to escape the endless rehashes of their latest misfortunes in the public eye , and the equally endless drone of self - criticism . Ren and Isabel meet under what can only be described as unusual circumstances , leaving each of them thinking , thankfully , they 'll never see the other again . Imagine their surprise when Isabel turns up on Ren 's doorstep , her much anticipated rental villa belonging to none other than her ill - advised one - night stand . As might be anticipated , their fiery antagonism soon breeds sparks of a different kind . Meanwhile , at the villa , all is not as it seems , and the two lovers find themselves playing amateur detectives , trying to untangle the strange behavior of the townspeople and of Ren 's hired caretaker . As if things weren 't complicated enough , Ren 's ex - wife , Tracy , suddenly appears on the scene pregnant and with several kids in tow , ushering in a subplot centering on the nature of marriage in the real world . I 've seen this book blasted so often in message boards , that I approached it with trepidation . I was very pleasantly surprised to find that it was a keeper for me . My grade is an A + , and it 's one of the best books I 've read this year , and one my fave SEPs so far . I haven 't heard of anyone online that actually liked Isabel , but I did , very much . Yes , she was a bit irritating , with her guru - speak and her praying everywhere and her insistence on always doing the right thing , but she meant well , and I appreciated how hard she worked , faced with horrible circumstances , to stay true to her convictions . Best of all , she wasn 't at all judgemental of other people . And BTW , about the praying and the fact that she called Read more . . . There are some books in my TBR pile that have been there for ages . Some , I know I 'll get to them eventually , but there are others that I look at and wonder what I was thinking when I bought them . Sometimes I like to just grab one of these and force myself to read it , even if it doesn 't sound appealing at first . I get mixed results with this . I did that with Forbidden Garden , for instance , and I 'm glad I read it . The one I tackled this weekend , though , wasn 't that good . I 'm glad I 'm read it too , but only because I can now add it to my Trade List instead of having it clutter my bookshelves . The book was Sweethearts of the Twilight Lanes , by Luanne JonesAs the doyenne of Simply Southern Magazine , Tess Redding is the soul of southern hospitality - - or at least to the world around Mount Circe , Georgia . But when bad boy Flynn Garvey roars back into town , Tess 's plans to leave Mount Circe are suddenly in danger of burning hotter than Atlanta after Sherman . Once upon a time the smooth - talking rebel broke her young heart , now Tess is just determined to have nothing to do with the mouth - watering , trouble - on - two - legs charmer . But then Tess and her best pals , the Sweethearts , begin to receive anonymous blackmail notes that threaten to expose their youthful follies . Having her old exploits with Flynn revealed is the last thing Tess 's sweeter - than - molasses image needs , and he is the only one who can help her . So all that 's left for Tess to do is put on her best pair of pumps , march right on up to the man . . . and fall in love all over again . My grade for it was a C - , and I think I 've learnt my lesson . No more Southern Fiction for me , I just don 't like it . For most of the book , I just couldn 't relate to the characters and their problems . Who were this people ? Do people like this really exist in this world ? I didn 't care what happened to them , and in fact , I think I didn 't even like them , Tess , with her Southern Living magazine , Wylene with her beauty pageant school and her daughters named Jolene and Brentelle , after her husband Joe Read more . . . Thursday 19th was a holiday here in Uruguay , the anniversary of the birth of our national hero , Josà © Artigas . I requested leave on Friday too , and I went on my own to Punta del Este for a little relaxation . It was horribly cold outside and there was nothing to do , so I just . . . read ! First , I reread Harry Potter # 4 , HP and the Goblet of Fire , to prepare for the release of # 5 ( I don 't know when I 'll be able to get it , but so far I 've been resisting the temptation to read spoilers ) . Well , what can I say that hasn 't been said a thousand times before ? It was excellent , and I liked it just as much as I did when I first read it . It 's imaginative , intriguing , exciting , dark , and very definitely not just a children 's book . There were quite a few details I didn 't remember well , especially about the dà © nouement , so I 'm very glad I read it . I can 't wait ! ( and Hermione , you can 't imagine how much I envy you ! ! ) I was terribly embarrassed the other day on my way to work . I was on the bus , sitting next to this old guy , and when he got to his stop and started to get up , he said " Excuse me , please " . The interesting thing was that he said it in English ! I was a bit taken aback by this , because the guy obviously wasn 't an English speaker ( his accent was pretty atrocious , if I may be unkind ) . So why did he speak to me in English ? Uh - oh , he must have noticed I was reading a book in that language ( of course I was reading ! What do normal people do on buses ? ) . And I say " uh - oh " because I was reading a romance , and I 'd spent most of my trip reading a sex scene . The poor man must have got an eyeful ! During the weekend , I read The Dark on the Other Side , by Barbara MichaelsWhen writer Michael Collins arrives at the home of celebrity Renaissance Man and millionaire Gordon Randolph to start the man 's biography , he can 't help but notice that his wife Linda seems to be both hateful toward her husband and terrified of something she can 't name . As he starts doing his research into Randolph 's background he finds some disturbing but enigmatic results . Then Linda , whom her husband claims is insane , runs away and keeps running , with a bizarre old witch as her only solid ally . But Linda has a counter - claim about Randolph , that implies something far darker and more horrifying than mere insanity . This was a good read , but not one of Michaels ' best . A B for me . The supernatural plot was a bit too nebulous , basically . It was never too clear exactly what was going on . This is something that Michaels has got better at with time . Also , the final scene was a bit anticlimatic and felt too rushed . The best thing about TDOTOS was the way Michaels paced it , gradually introducing enough clues so that the reader started realizing something was very wrong , and then what it might be . Michael 's awareness of what was going on proceeded at a similar pace , and Linda 's personality was revealed gradually too . At the beginning she seemed to be in a very fragile mental state , so it was great to see her show she wasn 't crazy and behave like the strong woman she was . Fun chore for Sunday morning : I 've been going through my bookshelves looking for books to add to my Trade List . So far I 've found : To the Ends of the Earth , by Elizabeth Lowell : this one was first published in 1983 , and it 's pretty much vintage Lowell . It feels very , very dated . I remember it had a nice grovel scene at the the end , and that 's why I was keeping it . To be honest , I don 't think I could bear to read the book again in order to get to the grovel scene , so into my TL it goes . The Bride Fair , by Cheryl Reavis : I don 't seem to be able to connect to Reavis ' characters . This book was interesting , but I never cared about the characters and what was happening to them . I also remember being bothered by the brattish children . A Place to Call Home , by Deborah Smith : I know many people love this one , but I didn 't really like it . I kinda liked the first part , IIRC , but the second half was bo - ring ! I 'm not really a fan of Southern fiction ( understatement of the year ! ) I 've a costume party tonight ! ! ! What 's the occasion , you ask ? Absolutely nothing . A friend of mine just got it into her head to organise one so she just did . Now my problem is that I only remembered about the " costume " part an hour ago , so I haven 't planned anything . I think I might end up wearing an old Korean thingy ( is a kimono only Japanese ? ) my mom bought when she went there 20 years ago . I 'm going to freeze my ass off , but it 's either that or an old can - can dancer outfit ( what was my mother thinking when she bought that ? ? ? ) For some reason , I violently disliked Julia London 's Wicked Angel ( excerpt ) . I usually finish every book , but for the second time in a couple of weeks , I decided not to finish one . She raced across the pasture , vaulted a fence , and landed , stunned and breathless , on top of the most handsome man she had ever seen . The bemused stranger stayed to capture the fancy of the brood of orphaned children in her charge , then stole Lauren Hill 's heart with a searing kiss as he left . Lauren couldn 't tell him she was a widowed countess fallen on hard times . She tried to forget him - - until she saw him again at a London ball . The man who haunted her dreams was a duke , out of her class . . . and he was pledged to another woman . The ton is ablaze with talk of the ravishing Bavarian countess . Stunned , Alexander Christian , Duke of Sutherland , recognizes Lauren as the country girl who 's captured his heart . Duty has forced him to pledge himself to another , to take his proper place in society and in Parliament . He wants one night with his blue - eyed enchantress , but will he be able to walk away from her again , or will he risk it all to be with the woman who fires his blood and makes him think of a . . . Wicked Angel . I tried , I swear ! I read some 150 pages before I chucked it , but I just couldn 't go on . I 'd already set it down about 50 pages before , but I had convinced myself I had to finish it , but enough ! I have too many more books waiting for me . Plus , there 's another trader I know wants this one , and she always trades me for books on my Wish List , so I don 't feel as guilty as I 'd normally feel ! What made me hate this so much ? Well , again , I found a book that pushed all my hot buttons . Many of the problems I had would have been bearable alone , but the accumulation was too much . Case in point , the virgin widow . I 'd rather not have to read about this character , but I 've been known to like some ( see , My Lady 's Pleasure , or Wicked Widow ) . Here , it irritated me to no end . Oh , and I hated Lauren . She 's so good ! Stupid kind of good , of course , theRead more . . . Continuing with Leigh Greenwood 's Seven Brides Series , I read book # 2 , Fern . Fern Sproull , a young , swaggering opinionated ruffian , dressing and behaving like a cowboy , is determined Hen Randolph will hang for killing her cousin . She 's equally determined that a fancy lawyer named Madison Randolph isn 't going to get his brother off . Fern has spent the last eight years of her life outriding , out shooting , and out cussing every man in her path , and she 's not about to let the man who murdered her cousin get off just because he 's one of the Texas Randolphs . But how is she going to know what tricks Madison gets up to unless she follows him around ? Madison Randolph , the brother who abandoned his younger orphaned siblings to go to Harvard during the Civil War , has come to Abilene , Kansas to defend his brother against a murder charge . There 's not much love lost between Madison and his family , but he 's certain Hen isn 't a murderer and he doesn 't mean to let him hang . The fact that an obnoxious female who dresses like a man and acts even worse intends to stop him only encourages him to prove he 's the very best at what he does . The suave , sophisticated Madison is appalled , first to discover that under all that dirt and bluster is a woman , and secondly , that he 's intrigued by her . But Madison soon discovers the female isn 't so obnoxious after all and that the ties of blood can never be broken . This one was not even remotely as good as Rose . I 'd give it a C at best , and I 'm actually grading up because I like the author 's writing style , which immediately sucks me into the story and keeps me reading even when I 'm wanting to tear my hair out because of some plot point . I 'm also giving the book extra points because I find the setting very interesting . It 's not the stereotypical " Western " setting , full of saloons and gunfighters , and the author manages to create a vivid world in which his characters live . I also liked the main plotline : I was intrigued by Fern 's cousin murder , and I liked that the mystery subplot didn 't overshadow tRead more . . . This weekend I read A Dash of Temptation , by Jo Leigh , a Harlequin Blaze . Tess Norton knows that Dash Black is way out of her league . She just looks after his houseplants , for heaven 's sake . But she can 't resist a sizzling fling with the sexy media king before she settles for Mr . Ordinary someday . Dash has never experienced a woman like Tess in his life . Hot … sweet … sinful , she occupies his bed - and his mind - day after day . She 's a welcome distraction in theNew York frenzy that he calls home . For Tess , he knows he 's just a man to do . Not a man to marry . But sometimes sex and romance can get all mixed up when you least expect it . … I like Leigh 's voice and style . She feels modern , and her heroines are more real and modern than most . This was something I liked in this book , though I had a couple of problems with it . A B - . What I liked : - Likeable , modern characters : a genuinely nice hero and a heroine who was pretty strong and driven - Characters who had interesting occupations ( Tess , for instance , owned a plant - care business ) - Very hot love scenes - The whole book had a romantic , Cinderellaish feel - Character - driven romance , the best kind . No villain to kidnap the heroine here . What I didn 't like : - A heroine who at times felt much too star - struck by the hero . . . which meant a relationship that felt a bit unequal ( the flip side of the Cinderella thing I mentioned - Name dropping . An awful lot of it . The hero had dated ( and slept with ) Julia ( Roberts , of course ) and Sandy ( Bullock , who did you think ) , and the author went on ( and on ! ) about the famous characters at the parties Dash and Tess attended . - The kind - of villain was out of Central Casting : the Rich Bitch , who badmouthed Tess to a potential investor , because . . . . just because . - The rush to marriage . These two had a future , but I didn 't really think they were at the getting married stage just yet . Why , oh why do romance novels have to finish in marriage ? Read more . . . Next , I reread The Gentleman Thief , by Deborah Simmons . I adored this book when I first read it last year , so I lent it to my friend . She hated it . Really , really hated it . Hated Georgiana , hated the plot , everything . I decided to reread this , then , to see if I felt any differently about it . Why her family had elected to spend an entire season in boring Bath , Georgiana Bellewether couldn 't fathom . Nothing to stimulate her inquisitive mind ever happened here - until the night Lady Culpepper 's emeralds were stolen ! Now , if only she could keep her mind on the case and her hands off the enigmatic man in black - the beguiling Lord Ashdowne . . . ! As the newly made , ever - responsible Marquis of Ashdowne , Johnathon Saxton bemoaned the lack of excitement now marking his days . But when quixotic , exotic Georgiana Bellewether literally stumbled into his arms , he knew he 'd caught himself an armful . The woman was a disaster in the making ! Well , I still loved it . An A . It was one of the funniest books I 've ever read , and one of the most refreshing . Georgiana was an excellent character . She reminded me a bit of Phoebe , from SEP 's It Had to be You , in that they were both brilliant women who looked like ditzy sexbombs . Georgiana , however , actually was a bit ditzy . Ditzy and brilliant , I didn 't think someone could write that successfully . The main focus of the book was Georgiana and Ashdowne 's relationship , which was a riot . I loved the way Ashdowne started realizing that she wasn 't exactly what she seemed . I LOLed at his horror when he noticed her thought processes were beginning to make sense to him . ; - ) This was a very sensual book . There actually was only one real sex scene , and it wasn 't too graphic , but Simmons succeeded in creating beautiful sensual tension . And that scene in the Baths , whew ! ! * fanning myself * I remember I was a bit doubtful about buying this book at first because of the thief angle . Thief protagonists are usually a turn - off for me . Maybe I 'm a bit rigid , but stealing because you need the excitement , even if it 's froRead more . . . I can 't believe I haven 't posted in so many days . I 've read a bunch of books since that last post , so I 'll try to be brief ( yeah , right ! ) . First of all , Search the Shadows , by Barbara MichaelsWhen twenty - two - year - old Haskell Malone accidentally discovers damning proof that the dead was hero whose name she bears is not her father , she is shattered . The revelation only confirms the dark fear that has haunted her since childhood . In fact , what little she knows about her birth and her mother 's subsequent death , is a fragile web of evasions and lies . Determined to expose the truth at any cost , Haskell takes a job at Chicago 's famed Oriental Institute in the city where her mother once lived and loved . But as she searched the shadows of the past , she finds that the truth can sometimes be deadly . A good one , a B + for me . As I posted a little while ago , I tend to group Michaels ' books into several categories . This particular one would be straight suspense , with nary a sign of the supernatural . I like the creepy ghost stories best of all , but this is still Barbara Michaels after all , so it was still an excellent read . As in every one of the author 's books , the atmosphere was incredible . The huge , creepy mansion , the strange characters , the young heroine . . . very gothic . I also found the mystery very engaging . The best part was the heroine . The book was written in 1st person POV , which only succeeds if the narrator is interesting . Haskell was . I just love Michaels ' voice , whether she 's writing under that name or as Elizabeth Peters . Her sense of humour shines through , and it 's a kind of humour I find beautifully effective . It 's never forced , it just springs naturally from the situations described . Earlier this week I read Lady of Desire , by Gaelen Foley , book # 4 in the Knight Miscellany series . My favourite in that series so far is Lord of Fire , and LOD hasn 't supplanted it in my preferences . It was a B - , while LOF was an A - . Impetuous Lady Jacinda Knight is the daughter of a scandalous woman - - and Society predicts she 'll follow in her mother 's footsteps . Then one night , in flight from an arranged and loveless marriage , Jacinda finds herself alone on a dangerous street face - to - face with Billy Blade , the notorious leader of a band of thieves . His stolen kisses awaken in her a longing for a man she can never possess . A handsome outlaw running from a secret past , Billy Blade has never met a woman like Jacinda - - her fiery innocence and blossoming sensuality set his rebel 's heart ablaze . Having turned his back on the privilege and power of his tyrannical father 's house years before , he vows to return to reclaim his title , Earl of Rackford - - to win the love of the ravishing beauty who has stolen his heart . I enjoyed LOD . Analysing it , I can think of quite a few flaws and things that bugged the hell out of me , but the fact remains that , on the whole , it left a positive impression . Jacinda was 18 and she behaved 18 . We should get this fact out of the way right now : she wasn 't fully mature at all , and had a long way to go . Thing is , I 'm not opposed to reading about young heroines per se , the problem is that they are so often paired with heros much older and more mature than them . When this happens , 99 % of the times the relationship ends up not being among equals , and feels almost like daddy - little girl . Creepy stuff . Here , however , Jacinda and Billy were equals . Billy was just a big boy . He had been forced to behave grown up in a rush when he started living on the streets of London at age 13 , but inside , I didn 't feel he was that much more mature than Jacinda . Their relationship was very fun to read about . They genuinely liked each other and enjoyed each other 's company . Plus , Foley created such great sensual tension thatRead more . . . Turns out the Uruguayan NT plays a friendly against South Korea next Sunday , so Nacional won 't be playing this weekend . Which means I 'll be spending the weekend in Punta del Este and won 't be here for Operación Triunfo comments chat : - ( Hmm , maybe I could borrow my uncle 's laptop and take it with me ? I can 't very well tell him what I really want it for , but I 'm sure I can come up with a good excuse before Friday ! I 'm very careful when choosing category books to read . Picky , picky , picky . I only buy them when they come highly recommended by someone I trust . Years ago , I used to go down to the newstand and buy loads of Harlequins ( Spanish translations ) , just from reading the back cover blurbs . I managed to read such stinkers that way ! I 've only kept 4 or 5 books from that part of my reading life . I thought it might be a good idea to give a category a chance at random , just to see if I managed to hit a winner . So , I grabbed my friend 's list of books and just stabbed at it , then asked her to loan me that one . I 'm sad to say I did not hit a winner . In fact , I tossed it at page 30 . The book was Accidental Roommate , by Charlotte Maclay , and it managed to find all my hot buttons and punch them for all it was worth . Hannah Jansen lives with her father and helps him run the local hardware store in her excruciatingly small town . And at 28 , Hannah is sick to death of being wholesome and dependable . A break in the big city is just what she needs . When her hotel mixes up her reservations and puts her in the same room as rancher Holt Janson , Hannah considers her options . Now fate has given her an honest - to - goodness sex symbol for a roommate ! Ok , so I start the book . . . uh - huh , a 28 year old virgin . Lovely . Wonder if she 'll have a real reason to be a virgin at that age . Maybe she wants to save it for her husband ? Maybe she 's religious ? Even though I don 't feel that way , at least it will be plausible ! Nope , doesn 't seem like it . She lives in a small town and , even though she 's quite attractive , she never had an opportunity to have sex . Right , ok . Strike # 1 against the book . So she 's at her hotel room and when she comes out of the bathroom she finds a man in the room . Short tussle ( in which the author doesn 't make her look like too much of an idiot , good for her ! ) and they explain . H . Jansen and H . Janson . I guess it 's possible that the hotel concierges would make such a mistake and give them the same room . Downstairs it is , to ask the conciRead more . . . I don 't read Westerns , but I was intrigued by certain comments about Leigh Greenwood 's Seven Brides Series . Since it turns out a friend has the entire series , I borrowed the first entry , Rose , out of curiosity . George Randolph , the oldest brother and patriarch of the family , needs someone to wash , cook , and clean for the brothers on their Texas ranch . Rose Thornton accepts that job . She arrives at the homestead to find six men ranging in ages from six to twenty - four years old . The house looks like it hasn 't been cleaned in years , the clothes practically stand up and beg to be washed , and everything in the kitchen is black with soot and grease . She soon discovers she 's in the midst of a truly dysfunctional family . The brothers don 't seem to like anybody , and that includes each other . They don 't much like Rose , either . Once they learn her father was an officer in the Union Army , they vote to send her back to town . George Randolph was an officer in the Confederate army . He feels responsible for his family , but wants to rejoin the army , the only time when his life was ordered and predictable . Rose sets out to convince George that he 's not only a father figure to his brothers , he really wants a family of his own . With her . At the same time seeks ways to repair the fragile bonds that hold this family together . I liked it , it was a B . I did find some problems , but it wasn 't that I was dissatisfied with what made it a Western , just that certain things in the story didn 't completely work for me . I 'll very definitely read the rest of the series , since I really liked the characters ( call me snobbish , but on the whole , I don 't like to read about uneducated characters ) , the feel of the book and the type of story ( i . e . not a lot of emphasis on gunfights ) and the author 's voice . I was surprised to see how fast I was sucked into the story . It was very definitely not fast - paced and a big part of the book is Rose doing housework , plus , her getting settled at the ranch , the development of the brothers ' relationship between themselves aRead more . . . The stadium was completely full . . . 65 . 000 people . We had to get there about 2 hours early to get a good place . Luckily , there was a " preliminar " game between the youth teams of Nacional and Peñarol , which ended Nacional 5 - Peñarol 0 , so we weren 't too bored ; - ) On minute 26 , penalty for Peñarol . Bengoechea took it , and it was record vs record . Nacional keeper Munua was trying for the record of the most minutes without receiving goals , and if Bengoechea scored , he would have the record of the Peñarol player who scored the most goals against Nacional . He scored : - ( It seems we fans were really looking forward to Munua getting a new record , since someone the mood after that was more appropriate for a team that was receiving a thrashing than for one ahead by one goal . For the rest of the first half , Nacional looked a bit depressed , and Munua had to save a couple of Peñarol attempts . They looked better in the second half , dominating the game and scoring ( Abreu again ! ) on the 30th minute . The remaining 15 minutes were just celebration . There are only 3 games left and Nacional is 9 points ahead of Peñarol , who are # 2 in the standings . Just one more point and we 're the Champions . Now I 'm wondering if I should go to Punta del Este next weekend , as I was planning or just stay here , go to the stadium and ( hopefully ) celebrate the championship and then Sunday night play " comments chat " with Hermione and Guada .
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With Chance of a Lifetime , I 've exhausted my cache of unread Jayne Ann Krentz titles . Rachel Wilder believed that investigator Abraham Chance had made her sister the scapegoat in an embezzlement scam , and she decided to do something , she didn 't know what . When she showed up unexpected at his rundown home , and he mistook her for the new housekeeper , Rachel went along with his mistake . It didn 't take Chance long to figure out that Rachel was no housekeeper . He decided that she had a secret , and he desperately wanted to know what it was , almost as much as he wanted her for himself . Rachel found herself falling passionately for this man who was supposed to be the enemy . Surely this man wasn 't responsible for her sister 's problem ? Nothing too spectacular here , but it did have some elements I especially liked . It was a B for me . I really liked Chance . Luckily , the mistaken identity plot is not taken too far . He knows she 's not who she says she is , and isn 't angry , just wants to know everything about her because he 's fast becoming more and more attracted to her and needs her to trust him . I appreciated the fact that , at first , he thinks she 's running from someone and wants her to know that she 's safe at Snowball 's Chance , and trust him . Rachel was likeable , too . It 's pefectly reasonable that she believed her sister when she told her Chance was responsible for her problems , and I was pleasantly surprised that she almost immediately started doubting this , when she got to know Chance better . It was interesting to see Chance deal with his family . His sister was nicely symmetrical to Rachel 's sister , both whiny brats who needed to grow up and stop relying on their older siblings to deal with their problems . Having Chances mom and Mindy 's new boyfriend be decent people was a nice touch , and much better than if the whole family had been a dysfunctional nightmare . Oh , and a little detail that I found funny : his sister called Chance by his last name too . Doesn 't that sound weird ? As always , I had a problem with the suspense subploRead more . . . This year I 've been reading many more anthlogies than I used to . The latest was The Further Observations of Lady Whistledown . The first story was , IMO , the weakest : ONE TRUE LOVE , by Suzanne Enoch - C + : Lady Anne Bishop , who has been engaged since childhood to Maximilian Trent - Marquis of Halfurst . Maximilian 's estates are in Yorkshire , and Anne 's life is set squarely in London . Anne is taking advantage of her long - standing engagement with the fiancé she has never seen by essentially doing whatever she wants , within the confines of society . Maximilian has heard of some of her ( rather mild ) exploits and has come down to London to reclaim his bride . Only to find when he got there that he actually desires his bride , and wants her to choose him over the suitors she doesn 't seem to be aware that she has collected . Rather than bully his way into her life , he sets out to win her love . This one wasn 't very successful in showing that our protagonists are in love . He sees her and he wants her and that 's it , they 're definitely getting married ! Additionally , the whole setup ( her otherwise sensible , loving father betrothing his daughter at birth , just because ) smelled of plot contrivance . I didn 't get why Maximillian was so ready to marry the woman his father had chosen for him . . . Enoch gives no explanation for that . Still , I kind of liked how Maximillian realized he wanted Anne to actually want to marry him , not do so to fulfill an obligation , and how he decided to woo her . Oh , and they compromised on where to live , that adds some points . My favourite was the second story , TWO HEARTS , by Karen Hawkins - A + Handsome , dashing Sir Royce Pemberley has had Miss Liza Pritchard as his best friend for over 20 years . What will he do when that intrepid lady decides it 's time to marry and sets her sights on someone Royce believes is entriely inappropriate ? A delightful story . In this one , I did believe that Liza and Royce were in love , and the way this came about was oh - so - romantic . I 'm a sucker for friends - falling - in - love stories , and thiRead more . . . In spite of the fact that I didn 't like Fern , the second installment in Leigh Greenwood 's Seven Brides series , I read # 3 , Iris . I didn 't like it much either : it gets a C - from me : Monty Randolph plans to take a herd to Wyoming . He means to start a ranch for the family and one for himself so he can get out from under the irritating and watchful eye of his older brother , George . He 's determined that nothing will stop him from succeeding , especially his neighbor , Iris Richmond , who wants him to take her herd to Wyoming along with his . The last thing he needs is a southern belle , steeped in flirting and vanity , on the filthy , exhausting trek over a thousand miles of dangerous , unsettled country . Her kind is strictly for looking at , not for buying . Neither does he need double the cows and double the responsibility . He already as three brothers along to worry about . Iris Richmond has nothing left of her father 's fortune but a herd of cows . And if she doesn 't get them to Wyoming , rustlers are going to take that . When Monty refuses to take her along , she puts her herd on the trail ahead of him and mixes the herds together . The continual danger of stampedes , rustlers , and Indian attacks drive the couple together , forming a relationship neither welcomes nor is able to deny . Beset by a thieving foreman and a long lost brother , Monty is the only person Iris can trust . And she means to trust him whether he likes it or not . Like in Fern , these people make no sense . I was fascinated by the setting and the info about the cattle drive , otherwise , this would have been a D . The book was worth slogging through just for Greenwood 's research , but as a romance it was a failure . The romance was stupid . Iris was stupid , feisty and stubborn and made nonsensical decisions just to further the plot . Monty would have been an interesting character , but his characterization had the same flaw . The worst part was the end , when a sexist " feel " seemed to take over , with Iris meeting a widow named Betty and realizing she ( Iris , that is ) wasn 't " what a Read more . . . FridayFive questions for today : 1 . How are you planning to spend the summer [ winter ] ? It 's winter in my case , and I won 't have a vacation , so nothing special for me ! 2 . What was your first summer job ? I 've talked about this one before : I worked as an English - language city tour guide for the passengers of cruise ships arriving at Montevideo . It was only a few days a month , and it paid pretty well , plus I had fun and got to know lots of people . 3 . If you could go anywhere this summer [ winter ] , where would you go ? My friend Monica is going to be travelling through Europe and parts of the Middle East for a month and a half ( she 's leaving on Saturday , so I went for dinner to her house last night and she showed me her itinerary . Wonderful ! ) . I guess if I could , I 'd go with her . 4 . What was your worst vacation ever ? I don 't remember any big disasters . Maybe January before last , a tiny apartment in Punta del Este with my whole family . You don 't want to be in the same apartment with my mother and only one TV . She has the worst taste ever in TV programming , and she 'll listen to her choices at full blast . 5 . What was your best vacation ever ? Either this last February in La Floresta ( very peaceful , I did nothing but sunbathe and read for 3 weeks ) or 2 weeks in Europe in 1994 . I 've long been curious about Science Fiction , and a few people have recommended Lois McMaster Bujold . I started with the first novel in the Vorkosigan series , Shards of Honor . First novel in the popular series that begins with the inauspicious meeting of Betan astrocartographer Cordelia Naismith and Barrayaran Captain Aral Vorkosigan during a treacherous war . As captor and prisoner on an abandoned outpost planet , the honorable captain and the resolute scientist must rely on each others ' trust to survive a trek across dangerous terrain , thus sparking a relationship that shares the struggles of culture and politics between their worlds . My first experience definitely won 't be my last , this one was an A - . I loved the attention devoted to the world - building , though I think I might like even better something with less intrincate political intrigue . Even so , even I could follow this one easily , so it was pretty ok . Of course , good , interesting universes and adventure aren 't enough for me . SoH succeeded because it also had wonderful characterization . I especially liked Cordelia . She was strong and sensible and no - nonsense , but also compassionate and kind . All that , and a nice self - deprecating sense of humour . Aral Vorkosigan was a bit more of a cipher , since we didn 't get his POV , but I liked what I saw through Cordelia 's eyes ( and , given the discussion we had about sympathetic homosexual characters on one of AAR 's message boards , where someone wondered why we never see heros or heroines that have had any kind of same - sex sexual experience in the past , I found it especially interesting that there 's a hint of it in Aral 's backstory . I had 0 problem with this , in case you 're wondering ! ) I think I 'm going to start doing the " Answer 5 questions on your blog every Friday " thing . I can 't decide whether to use the questions at FridayFive or Las 5 del Viernes ( duly translated into English , of course ) . Thanks Hermione for the url ! Anyway , it 's not Friday , but here are last week 's questions : 1 . Is your hair naturally curly , wavy , or straight ? Long or short ? Wavy , with LOTS of volume . It 's also very heavy , and there 's a lot of it . It 's short , with the front part a bit longer , " to frame my face " . 2 . How has your hair changed over your lifetime ? I wore it loooong ( almost to my waist ) until 2 years ago , when I got sick to death of spending hours untangling it and drying it . I went to the hairstylist and told the guy " Do what you want , I just want it short " . He actually spent a couple of minutes just staring at all the hair , telling me how this was every stylist 's dream ! First thing he did , before he started " styling " , was cut most of the hair whole , and give it to me . I made a falsie with it , which I sometimes wear when I want a different look . As for colours , it 's now at my natural brown , but it 's been blond , red and black . 3 . How do your normally wear your hair ? I never do anything with it ( unless I have a wedding , or some type of formal party ) . I only towel - dry it a bit after washing it and then let it dry naturally . I either leave it loose or wear a couple of barrettes to keep it away from my face . 4 . If you could change your hair this minute , what would it look like ? I 've always wanted straight , straight hair , with absolutely no waves and almost no volume . That 's what I get it to look like for special occasions . I don 't mind the color , I actually like my natural color best . 5 . Ever had a hair disaster ? What happened ? One word : perm ! I was 14 , and the stylist managed to convince me that she had a new product that would give me permanent ringlets . It didn 't , my hair just looked frizzy and I wore a ponytail for a couple of years straight . Read more . . . The next book I read was Susan Elizabeth Phillips ' Breathing Room . Lorenzo ( Ren ) Gage is a devilishly handsome movie star , best known for his villainous roles onscreen and his playboy antics off . Isabel Favor is a tightly wound self - help guru and author of The Four Cornerstones of a Favorable Life whose own perfect life has recently come crashing down around her . Both have come to Italy to escape the endless rehashes of their latest misfortunes in the public eye , and the equally endless drone of self - criticism . Ren and Isabel meet under what can only be described as unusual circumstances , leaving each of them thinking , thankfully , they 'll never see the other again . Imagine their surprise when Isabel turns up on Ren 's doorstep , her much anticipated rental villa belonging to none other than her ill - advised one - night stand . As might be anticipated , their fiery antagonism soon breeds sparks of a different kind . Meanwhile , at the villa , all is not as it seems , and the two lovers find themselves playing amateur detectives , trying to untangle the strange behavior of the townspeople and of Ren 's hired caretaker . As if things weren 't complicated enough , Ren 's ex - wife , Tracy , suddenly appears on the scene pregnant and with several kids in tow , ushering in a subplot centering on the nature of marriage in the real world . I 've seen this book blasted so often in message boards , that I approached it with trepidation . I was very pleasantly surprised to find that it was a keeper for me . My grade is an A + , and it 's one of the best books I 've read this year , and one my fave SEPs so far . I haven 't heard of anyone online that actually liked Isabel , but I did , very much . Yes , she was a bit irritating , with her guru - speak and her praying everywhere and her insistence on always doing the right thing , but she meant well , and I appreciated how hard she worked , faced with horrible circumstances , to stay true to her convictions . Best of all , she wasn 't at all judgemental of other people . And BTW , about the praying and the fact that she called Read more . . . There are some books in my TBR pile that have been there for ages . Some , I know I 'll get to them eventually , but there are others that I look at and wonder what I was thinking when I bought them . Sometimes I like to just grab one of these and force myself to read it , even if it doesn 't sound appealing at first . I get mixed results with this . I did that with Forbidden Garden , for instance , and I 'm glad I read it . The one I tackled this weekend , though , wasn 't that good . I 'm glad I 'm read it too , but only because I can now add it to my Trade List instead of having it clutter my bookshelves . The book was Sweethearts of the Twilight Lanes , by Luanne JonesAs the doyenne of Simply Southern Magazine , Tess Redding is the soul of southern hospitality - - or at least to the world around Mount Circe , Georgia . But when bad boy Flynn Garvey roars back into town , Tess 's plans to leave Mount Circe are suddenly in danger of burning hotter than Atlanta after Sherman . Once upon a time the smooth - talking rebel broke her young heart , now Tess is just determined to have nothing to do with the mouth - watering , trouble - on - two - legs charmer . But then Tess and her best pals , the Sweethearts , begin to receive anonymous blackmail notes that threaten to expose their youthful follies . Having her old exploits with Flynn revealed is the last thing Tess 's sweeter - than - molasses image needs , and he is the only one who can help her . So all that 's left for Tess to do is put on her best pair of pumps , march right on up to the man . . . and fall in love all over again . My grade for it was a C - , and I think I 've learnt my lesson . No more Southern Fiction for me , I just don 't like it . For most of the book , I just couldn 't relate to the characters and their problems . Who were this people ? Do people like this really exist in this world ? I didn 't care what happened to them , and in fact , I think I didn 't even like them , Tess , with her Southern Living magazine , Wylene with her beauty pageant school and her daughters named Jolene and Brentelle , after her husband Joe Read more . . . Thursday 19th was a holiday here in Uruguay , the anniversary of the birth of our national hero , Josà © Artigas . I requested leave on Friday too , and I went on my own to Punta del Este for a little relaxation . It was horribly cold outside and there was nothing to do , so I just . . . read ! First , I reread Harry Potter # 4 , HP and the Goblet of Fire , to prepare for the release of # 5 ( I don 't know when I 'll be able to get it , but so far I 've been resisting the temptation to read spoilers ) . Well , what can I say that hasn 't been said a thousand times before ? It was excellent , and I liked it just as much as I did when I first read it . It 's imaginative , intriguing , exciting , dark , and very definitely not just a children 's book . There were quite a few details I didn 't remember well , especially about the dà © nouement , so I 'm very glad I read it . I can 't wait ! ( and Hermione , you can 't imagine how much I envy you ! ! ) I was terribly embarrassed the other day on my way to work . I was on the bus , sitting next to this old guy , and when he got to his stop and started to get up , he said " Excuse me , please " . The interesting thing was that he said it in English ! I was a bit taken aback by this , because the guy obviously wasn 't an English speaker ( his accent was pretty atrocious , if I may be unkind ) . So why did he speak to me in English ? Uh - oh , he must have noticed I was reading a book in that language ( of course I was reading ! What do normal people do on buses ? ) . And I say " uh - oh " because I was reading a romance , and I 'd spent most of my trip reading a sex scene . The poor man must have got an eyeful ! During the weekend , I read The Dark on the Other Side , by Barbara MichaelsWhen writer Michael Collins arrives at the home of celebrity Renaissance Man and millionaire Gordon Randolph to start the man 's biography , he can 't help but notice that his wife Linda seems to be both hateful toward her husband and terrified of something she can 't name . As he starts doing his research into Randolph 's background he finds some disturbing but enigmatic results . Then Linda , whom her husband claims is insane , runs away and keeps running , with a bizarre old witch as her only solid ally . But Linda has a counter - claim about Randolph , that implies something far darker and more horrifying than mere insanity . This was a good read , but not one of Michaels ' best . A B for me . The supernatural plot was a bit too nebulous , basically . It was never too clear exactly what was going on . This is something that Michaels has got better at with time . Also , the final scene was a bit anticlimatic and felt too rushed . The best thing about TDOTOS was the way Michaels paced it , gradually introducing enough clues so that the reader started realizing something was very wrong , and then what it might be . Michael 's awareness of what was going on proceeded at a similar pace , and Linda 's personality was revealed gradually too . At the beginning she seemed to be in a very fragile mental state , so it was great to see her show she wasn 't crazy and behave like the strong woman she was . Fun chore for Sunday morning : I 've been going through my bookshelves looking for books to add to my Trade List . So far I 've found : To the Ends of the Earth , by Elizabeth Lowell : this one was first published in 1983 , and it 's pretty much vintage Lowell . It feels very , very dated . I remember it had a nice grovel scene at the the end , and that 's why I was keeping it . To be honest , I don 't think I could bear to read the book again in order to get to the grovel scene , so into my TL it goes . The Bride Fair , by Cheryl Reavis : I don 't seem to be able to connect to Reavis ' characters . This book was interesting , but I never cared about the characters and what was happening to them . I also remember being bothered by the brattish children . A Place to Call Home , by Deborah Smith : I know many people love this one , but I didn 't really like it . I kinda liked the first part , IIRC , but the second half was bo - ring ! I 'm not really a fan of Southern fiction ( understatement of the year ! ) I 've a costume party tonight ! ! ! What 's the occasion , you ask ? Absolutely nothing . A friend of mine just got it into her head to organise one so she just did . Now my problem is that I only remembered about the " costume " part an hour ago , so I haven 't planned anything . I think I might end up wearing an old Korean thingy ( is a kimono only Japanese ? ) my mom bought when she went there 20 years ago . I 'm going to freeze my ass off , but it 's either that or an old can - can dancer outfit ( what was my mother thinking when she bought that ? ? ? ) For some reason , I violently disliked Julia London 's Wicked Angel ( excerpt ) . I usually finish every book , but for the second time in a couple of weeks , I decided not to finish one . She raced across the pasture , vaulted a fence , and landed , stunned and breathless , on top of the most handsome man she had ever seen . The bemused stranger stayed to capture the fancy of the brood of orphaned children in her charge , then stole Lauren Hill 's heart with a searing kiss as he left . Lauren couldn 't tell him she was a widowed countess fallen on hard times . She tried to forget him - - until she saw him again at a London ball . The man who haunted her dreams was a duke , out of her class . . . and he was pledged to another woman . The ton is ablaze with talk of the ravishing Bavarian countess . Stunned , Alexander Christian , Duke of Sutherland , recognizes Lauren as the country girl who 's captured his heart . Duty has forced him to pledge himself to another , to take his proper place in society and in Parliament . He wants one night with his blue - eyed enchantress , but will he be able to walk away from her again , or will he risk it all to be with the woman who fires his blood and makes him think of a . . . Wicked Angel . I tried , I swear ! I read some 150 pages before I chucked it , but I just couldn 't go on . I 'd already set it down about 50 pages before , but I had convinced myself I had to finish it , but enough ! I have too many more books waiting for me . Plus , there 's another trader I know wants this one , and she always trades me for books on my Wish List , so I don 't feel as guilty as I 'd normally feel ! What made me hate this so much ? Well , again , I found a book that pushed all my hot buttons . Many of the problems I had would have been bearable alone , but the accumulation was too much . Case in point , the virgin widow . I 'd rather not have to read about this character , but I 've been known to like some ( see , My Lady 's Pleasure , or Wicked Widow ) . Here , it irritated me to no end . Oh , and I hated Lauren . She 's so good ! Stupid kind of good , of course , theRead more . . . Continuing with Leigh Greenwood 's Seven Brides Series , I read book # 2 , Fern . Fern Sproull , a young , swaggering opinionated ruffian , dressing and behaving like a cowboy , is determined Hen Randolph will hang for killing her cousin . She 's equally determined that a fancy lawyer named Madison Randolph isn 't going to get his brother off . Fern has spent the last eight years of her life outriding , out shooting , and out cussing every man in her path , and she 's not about to let the man who murdered her cousin get off just because he 's one of the Texas Randolphs . But how is she going to know what tricks Madison gets up to unless she follows him around ? Madison Randolph , the brother who abandoned his younger orphaned siblings to go to Harvard during the Civil War , has come to Abilene , Kansas to defend his brother against a murder charge . There 's not much love lost between Madison and his family , but he 's certain Hen isn 't a murderer and he doesn 't mean to let him hang . The fact that an obnoxious female who dresses like a man and acts even worse intends to stop him only encourages him to prove he 's the very best at what he does . The suave , sophisticated Madison is appalled , first to discover that under all that dirt and bluster is a woman , and secondly , that he 's intrigued by her . But Madison soon discovers the female isn 't so obnoxious after all and that the ties of blood can never be broken . This one was not even remotely as good as Rose . I 'd give it a C at best , and I 'm actually grading up because I like the author 's writing style , which immediately sucks me into the story and keeps me reading even when I 'm wanting to tear my hair out because of some plot point . I 'm also giving the book extra points because I find the setting very interesting . It 's not the stereotypical " Western " setting , full of saloons and gunfighters , and the author manages to create a vivid world in which his characters live . I also liked the main plotline : I was intrigued by Fern 's cousin murder , and I liked that the mystery subplot didn 't overshadow tRead more . . . This weekend I read A Dash of Temptation , by Jo Leigh , a Harlequin Blaze . Tess Norton knows that Dash Black is way out of her league . She just looks after his houseplants , for heaven 's sake . But she can 't resist a sizzling fling with the sexy media king before she settles for Mr . Ordinary someday . Dash has never experienced a woman like Tess in his life . Hot … sweet … sinful , she occupies his bed - and his mind - day after day . She 's a welcome distraction in theNew York frenzy that he calls home . For Tess , he knows he 's just a man to do . Not a man to marry . But sometimes sex and romance can get all mixed up when you least expect it . … I like Leigh 's voice and style . She feels modern , and her heroines are more real and modern than most . This was something I liked in this book , though I had a couple of problems with it . A B - . What I liked : - Likeable , modern characters : a genuinely nice hero and a heroine who was pretty strong and driven - Characters who had interesting occupations ( Tess , for instance , owned a plant - care business ) - Very hot love scenes - The whole book had a romantic , Cinderellaish feel - Character - driven romance , the best kind . No villain to kidnap the heroine here . What I didn 't like : - A heroine who at times felt much too star - struck by the hero . . . which meant a relationship that felt a bit unequal ( the flip side of the Cinderella thing I mentioned - Name dropping . An awful lot of it . The hero had dated ( and slept with ) Julia ( Roberts , of course ) and Sandy ( Bullock , who did you think ) , and the author went on ( and on ! ) about the famous characters at the parties Dash and Tess attended . - The kind - of villain was out of Central Casting : the Rich Bitch , who badmouthed Tess to a potential investor , because . . . . just because . - The rush to marriage . These two had a future , but I didn 't really think they were at the getting married stage just yet . Why , oh why do romance novels have to finish in marriage ? Read more . . . Next , I reread The Gentleman Thief , by Deborah Simmons . I adored this book when I first read it last year , so I lent it to my friend . She hated it . Really , really hated it . Hated Georgiana , hated the plot , everything . I decided to reread this , then , to see if I felt any differently about it . Why her family had elected to spend an entire season in boring Bath , Georgiana Bellewether couldn 't fathom . Nothing to stimulate her inquisitive mind ever happened here - until the night Lady Culpepper 's emeralds were stolen ! Now , if only she could keep her mind on the case and her hands off the enigmatic man in black - the beguiling Lord Ashdowne . . . ! As the newly made , ever - responsible Marquis of Ashdowne , Johnathon Saxton bemoaned the lack of excitement now marking his days . But when quixotic , exotic Georgiana Bellewether literally stumbled into his arms , he knew he 'd caught himself an armful . The woman was a disaster in the making ! Well , I still loved it . An A . It was one of the funniest books I 've ever read , and one of the most refreshing . Georgiana was an excellent character . She reminded me a bit of Phoebe , from SEP 's It Had to be You , in that they were both brilliant women who looked like ditzy sexbombs . Georgiana , however , actually was a bit ditzy . Ditzy and brilliant , I didn 't think someone could write that successfully . The main focus of the book was Georgiana and Ashdowne 's relationship , which was a riot . I loved the way Ashdowne started realizing that she wasn 't exactly what she seemed . I LOLed at his horror when he noticed her thought processes were beginning to make sense to him . ; - ) This was a very sensual book . There actually was only one real sex scene , and it wasn 't too graphic , but Simmons succeeded in creating beautiful sensual tension . And that scene in the Baths , whew ! ! * fanning myself * I remember I was a bit doubtful about buying this book at first because of the thief angle . Thief protagonists are usually a turn - off for me . Maybe I 'm a bit rigid , but stealing because you need the excitement , even if it 's froRead more . . . I can 't believe I haven 't posted in so many days . I 've read a bunch of books since that last post , so I 'll try to be brief ( yeah , right ! ) . First of all , Search the Shadows , by Barbara MichaelsWhen twenty - two - year - old Haskell Malone accidentally discovers damning proof that the dead was hero whose name she bears is not her father , she is shattered . The revelation only confirms the dark fear that has haunted her since childhood . In fact , what little she knows about her birth and her mother 's subsequent death , is a fragile web of evasions and lies . Determined to expose the truth at any cost , Haskell takes a job at Chicago 's famed Oriental Institute in the city where her mother once lived and loved . But as she searched the shadows of the past , she finds that the truth can sometimes be deadly . A good one , a B + for me . As I posted a little while ago , I tend to group Michaels ' books into several categories . This particular one would be straight suspense , with nary a sign of the supernatural . I like the creepy ghost stories best of all , but this is still Barbara Michaels after all , so it was still an excellent read . As in every one of the author 's books , the atmosphere was incredible . The huge , creepy mansion , the strange characters , the young heroine . . . very gothic . I also found the mystery very engaging . The best part was the heroine . The book was written in 1st person POV , which only succeeds if the narrator is interesting . Haskell was . I just love Michaels ' voice , whether she 's writing under that name or as Elizabeth Peters . Her sense of humour shines through , and it 's a kind of humour I find beautifully effective . It 's never forced , it just springs naturally from the situations described . Earlier this week I read Lady of Desire , by Gaelen Foley , book # 4 in the Knight Miscellany series . My favourite in that series so far is Lord of Fire , and LOD hasn 't supplanted it in my preferences . It was a B - , while LOF was an A - . Impetuous Lady Jacinda Knight is the daughter of a scandalous woman - - and Society predicts she 'll follow in her mother 's footsteps . Then one night , in flight from an arranged and loveless marriage , Jacinda finds herself alone on a dangerous street face - to - face with Billy Blade , the notorious leader of a band of thieves . His stolen kisses awaken in her a longing for a man she can never possess . A handsome outlaw running from a secret past , Billy Blade has never met a woman like Jacinda - - her fiery innocence and blossoming sensuality set his rebel 's heart ablaze . Having turned his back on the privilege and power of his tyrannical father 's house years before , he vows to return to reclaim his title , Earl of Rackford - - to win the love of the ravishing beauty who has stolen his heart . I enjoyed LOD . Analysing it , I can think of quite a few flaws and things that bugged the hell out of me , but the fact remains that , on the whole , it left a positive impression . Jacinda was 18 and she behaved 18 . We should get this fact out of the way right now : she wasn 't fully mature at all , and had a long way to go . Thing is , I 'm not opposed to reading about young heroines per se , the problem is that they are so often paired with heros much older and more mature than them . When this happens , 99 % of the times the relationship ends up not being among equals , and feels almost like daddy - little girl . Creepy stuff . Here , however , Jacinda and Billy were equals . Billy was just a big boy . He had been forced to behave grown up in a rush when he started living on the streets of London at age 13 , but inside , I didn 't feel he was that much more mature than Jacinda . Their relationship was very fun to read about . They genuinely liked each other and enjoyed each other 's company . Plus , Foley created such great sensual tension thatRead more . . . Turns out the Uruguayan NT plays a friendly against South Korea next Sunday , so Nacional won 't be playing this weekend . Which means I 'll be spending the weekend in Punta del Este and won 't be here for Operación Triunfo comments chat : - ( Hmm , maybe I could borrow my uncle 's laptop and take it with me ? I can 't very well tell him what I really want it for , but I 'm sure I can come up with a good excuse before Friday ! I 'm very careful when choosing category books to read . Picky , picky , picky . I only buy them when they come highly recommended by someone I trust . Years ago , I used to go down to the newstand and buy loads of Harlequins ( Spanish translations ) , just from reading the back cover blurbs . I managed to read such stinkers that way ! I 've only kept 4 or 5 books from that part of my reading life . I thought it might be a good idea to give a category a chance at random , just to see if I managed to hit a winner . So , I grabbed my friend 's list of books and just stabbed at it , then asked her to loan me that one . I 'm sad to say I did not hit a winner . In fact , I tossed it at page 30 . The book was Accidental Roommate , by Charlotte Maclay , and it managed to find all my hot buttons and punch them for all it was worth . Hannah Jansen lives with her father and helps him run the local hardware store in her excruciatingly small town . And at 28 , Hannah is sick to death of being wholesome and dependable . A break in the big city is just what she needs . When her hotel mixes up her reservations and puts her in the same room as rancher Holt Janson , Hannah considers her options . Now fate has given her an honest - to - goodness sex symbol for a roommate ! Ok , so I start the book . . . uh - huh , a 28 year old virgin . Lovely . Wonder if she 'll have a real reason to be a virgin at that age . Maybe she wants to save it for her husband ? Maybe she 's religious ? Even though I don 't feel that way , at least it will be plausible ! Nope , doesn 't seem like it . She lives in a small town and , even though she 's quite attractive , she never had an opportunity to have sex . Right , ok . Strike # 1 against the book . So she 's at her hotel room and when she comes out of the bathroom she finds a man in the room . Short tussle ( in which the author doesn 't make her look like too much of an idiot , good for her ! ) and they explain . H . Jansen and H . Janson . I guess it 's possible that the hotel concierges would make such a mistake and give them the same room . Downstairs it is , to ask the conciRead more . . . I don 't read Westerns , but I was intrigued by certain comments about Leigh Greenwood 's Seven Brides Series . Since it turns out a friend has the entire series , I borrowed the first entry , Rose , out of curiosity . George Randolph , the oldest brother and patriarch of the family , needs someone to wash , cook , and clean for the brothers on their Texas ranch . Rose Thornton accepts that job . She arrives at the homestead to find six men ranging in ages from six to twenty - four years old . The house looks like it hasn 't been cleaned in years , the clothes practically stand up and beg to be washed , and everything in the kitchen is black with soot and grease . She soon discovers she 's in the midst of a truly dysfunctional family . The brothers don 't seem to like anybody , and that includes each other . They don 't much like Rose , either . Once they learn her father was an officer in the Union Army , they vote to send her back to town . George Randolph was an officer in the Confederate army . He feels responsible for his family , but wants to rejoin the army , the only time when his life was ordered and predictable . Rose sets out to convince George that he 's not only a father figure to his brothers , he really wants a family of his own . With her . At the same time seeks ways to repair the fragile bonds that hold this family together . I liked it , it was a B . I did find some problems , but it wasn 't that I was dissatisfied with what made it a Western , just that certain things in the story didn 't completely work for me . I 'll very definitely read the rest of the series , since I really liked the characters ( call me snobbish , but on the whole , I don 't like to read about uneducated characters ) , the feel of the book and the type of story ( i . e . not a lot of emphasis on gunfights ) and the author 's voice . I was surprised to see how fast I was sucked into the story . It was very definitely not fast - paced and a big part of the book is Rose doing housework , plus , her getting settled at the ranch , the development of the brothers ' relationship between themselves aRead more . . . The stadium was completely full . . . 65 . 000 people . We had to get there about 2 hours early to get a good place . Luckily , there was a " preliminar " game between the youth teams of Nacional and Peñarol , which ended Nacional 5 - Peñarol 0 , so we weren 't too bored ; - ) On minute 26 , penalty for Peñarol . Bengoechea took it , and it was record vs record . Nacional keeper Munua was trying for the record of the most minutes without receiving goals , and if Bengoechea scored , he would have the record of the Peñarol player who scored the most goals against Nacional . He scored : - ( It seems we fans were really looking forward to Munua getting a new record , since someone the mood after that was more appropriate for a team that was receiving a thrashing than for one ahead by one goal . For the rest of the first half , Nacional looked a bit depressed , and Munua had to save a couple of Peñarol attempts . They looked better in the second half , dominating the game and scoring ( Abreu again ! ) on the 30th minute . The remaining 15 minutes were just celebration . There are only 3 games left and Nacional is 9 points ahead of Peñarol , who are # 2 in the standings . Just one more point and we 're the Champions . Now I 'm wondering if I should go to Punta del Este next weekend , as I was planning or just stay here , go to the stadium and ( hopefully ) celebrate the championship and then Sunday night play " comments chat " with Hermione and Guada .
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" I understand that . I 'm just afraid that there isn 't much to interest your readers , " I responded . " We are successful because we make a superior product at a competitive price . I really don 't think that 's a corporate secret . Most successful companies follow that formula . " " What I was looking for was a human interest angle , sir , " replied the kid . " I want to know things like how long it took you to rise to the top of the company . Were you ever discouraged ? How long have you worked at Norris Enterprises ? Did you start at the bottom and work your way up the ladder ? Was there any turning point in your career that you can point to as the day you knew you would assume leadership of the company , or was it a gradual thing ? " quizzed the whiz kid . " You 're serious aren 't you ? I guess you 're too young to remember the business climate in 2009 . It was a very difficult period , as you may have read in some history books . You probably think dinosaurs walked the planet ten years ago , " I mused . " You 'll learn that time tends to slip away . Actually , I vividly remember the day I realized I was destined for success with this company , like it was yesterday and not ten years ago . " The story isn 't going to be what you might be expecting , so just sit back and I 'll try to reconstruct events as I remember them . You have a few minutes , don 't you ? " I asked as I leaned back in my chair and thought about that spring day so long ago . The ringing of my cell phone woke me . By the time I found where I had dropped my pants on the floor the previous evening , the ringing had stopped . A quick glance at my cell told me that I had missed seven calls ! I had gone to sleep after Leno 's monologue . The clock on the nightstand showed it was just a few minutes after six AM . Something had to be up to get so many calls between midnight and six ! " Hello , Frank ? " answered what sounded to be an agitated Marge Larson . " I 'm glad you called back ! There 's hell to pay around here . You 'd better get home as soon as possible . My husband , your wife , and your wife 's brother - in - law are in the hospital . They 'll recover , so don 't worry about them too much , but you need to get back here and help me clean up all the shit that went through the proverbial fan . " " What the hell are you talking about , Marge ? " I demanded . " Why are so many people in the hospital ? Was there an accident , or a bombing ? What happened ? " " I only wish the reason were so mundane , Frank . I have to leave for the hospital , then visit my lawyer 's , and finally get to the plant and see if I can figure out what the hell is going on . I wish I had been paying more attention to the business lately . " " Oh , yeah , Roberta ! I forgot to mention that she 's in jail . I have to go now , Frank . Just try to get your ass back as soon as you can . I need you here ! " urged Marge as she terminated the call . I checked out of the motel and pointed my car toward route 81 north . As I drove , I tried making some phone calls to determine what was going on at home . My wife and sister - in - law didn 't answer their cells . My wife 's parents professed no knowledge other than that my wife and their other son - in - law were both in the hospital . Both my kids were living in the Washington DC area and wouldn 't know any more than I , if that much . I arrived back in my home town almost three hours later with no further knowledge of the situation . I walked into the hospital at nine AM and went immediately to the desk . I soon discovered my wife had been treated for a broken nose and a concussion . She was now under observation , whatever that meant . She smiled weakly when I was shown into her room . " Well that 's really good news , Tessa ! " I replied sarcastically . " I guess the rainbow colors around your face and the fact you were unconscious for half an hour or so fooled the medical staff here . They mistakenly thought something had happened to you . If it 's an error , we may be able to get a big malpractice settlement . Let 's go home . " " No , Frank , that part wasn 't a mistake . I have a concussion and a broken nose . I 'll have to have surgery once the swelling goes down . The mistake was what happened with Jeff , " she revealed , before slowly adding , " and Jack . " " That pretty well explains everything , Tessa , " I acknowledged . " You 're all fucked up because of a mistake , as you put it that involves my boss and your sister 's husband . Can you possibly anticipate any questions I might have , answer them , and prevent us from doing this the hard way ? " " I see that all that time working for a law firm is paying off in spades , Tessa , " I snapped . " You just rest up . While you 're at it , maybe you 'll dream up some sort of story that will explain everything to my satisfaction , and probably demonstrate that you 're a helpless victim of some sort of conspiracy . " I was too angry to remain in the same room with my wife . I had already learned that she , my boss , and her sister 's husband were all taken from my house by ambulance the previous evening . Add to that the fact that my immediate superior at work , Roberta , was arrested and hauled off to jail at the same time , and also from my house , created feelings of anxiety and concern I couldn 't shake . Was I paranoid to worry about such trivial matters ? Then she tells me that she 's too fragile to tell me what the fuck went on last night , in my house ? As I reached the lobby on my way out of the hospital , I was stopped by a man in a suit . He flashed me some sort of ID with a lot of small print I couldn 't read without my cheaters . Even though I 'm a bit far - sighted , I could easily tell the guy was a cop of some kind . Things were getting more interesting every minute . " Mr . Barker ? " he began the questioning . " Could I ask you a few questions ? You have some time , don 't you ? You can 't take your wife home for a few hours , can you ? " " I 'm trying to piece together what transpired last night at your home . There are several versions of the events , but they all seem to have you as the central force in this " perfect storm " of a cluster fuck . Where were you last night ? " " I was in Harrisburg . I met with a client and then had dinner with him . I stayed in a Motel Eight near Hershey and checked out this morning just after six AM . I was sent there by order of my boss , Jack Larson , by way of my immediately superior , Roberta Peters . Since they were two of the cluster fuckers you have already interviewed , you should have known that already , if they were in a truthful mood , " I added sarcastically . " They both told me you had been sent to Harrisburg , " admitted the detective . " Things are just a bit more complicated than that . Ms . Peters said you called from Harrisburg and asked that she deliver a package to your home last evening . Her complicity was a direct result of her responding to your request . " " That 's a crock of shit ! " I stated flatly . " I never called her . I never spoke to her and I had no knowledge of her going to my house for any reason . I did call my boss ' house last evening and spoke to Mrs . Larson . I asked to speak to her husband , but she told me that he was out town . He had gone to upstate New York fishing and would be back late the next day . Mrs . Larson asked me if it was important . Since her family actually owns the business , I didn 't feel I could keep her in the dark about anything , so I explained my dilemma . " I had purchased an expensive pearl necklace for my wife 's birthday and had stupidly left it in my office desk . I was both concerned about leaving it there and that my wife wouldn 't get it for her birthday , which is today . I told Marge that I was going to ask Jack , my boss , if he would drop it off at my house . My wife was going to be away visiting her aged grandmother in a nursing home in New Jersey . She was going to stay in a motel nearby and return home this morning . I had hoped to have the necklace in the house so I could call her and have her try it on . Then she would praise me for being a very thoughtful , loving husband , even if I had to travel for business on her birthday , " I reasoned . " Ms . Peters pretty much told me that same version . Except she claimed that you knew Mrs . Larson would call her and ask her to perform the task since her husband was out of state fishing . She claims that you set her up , " finished the detective . " Set her up for what ? " I demanded . " I called my boss to ask him to do a personal favor for me . I had no idea Roberta would wind up involved . I still have no idea what the hell happened ! Why are you asking me questions ? Why is she under arrest ? What the hell did happen at my house last night ? " " Did you ask Jeff Rogers to go to your home to let Ms . Peters in ? " continued the flatfoot , proving he had the temperament , and brains , of a bulldog . " Where the hell are you getting this shit ? " I asked in disbelief . " I had called my wife 's sister , June , and told her that she might be getting a call from my boss . That was before I spoke to his wife and found out that he was out of town . I asked her if she would go over to our place with the spare key to our house that she kept , meet my boss there , and let him in . It was a pretty simple request . " " Will you tell me what the fuck is going on ? How did my wife or any of those other " cluster fuckers " , wind up in the hospital ? Why has Roberta been arrested ? Who was voted off American Idol this week ? " I demanded . I couldn 't think of anything else to do , so I headed home . I was royally pissed at my wife for using her evasive lawyer - speak to me when I asked her what had happened . I really didn 't care much for Jeff , my erstwhile brother - in - law , or my jackass boss , Jack . The former had been a pain in my posterior ever since my sister - in - law dragged his sorry ass home from college around fifteen years ago . He had been a second string tight end on a Penn State team that just barely lost the Orange Bowl . Somehow , that had elevated him to hero status in the asylum my wife called her family home . The fact that he never graduated and couldn 't hold a steady job was unimportant . He was a fucking Nittany Lion ! My boss was another dickhead . I had repeatedly demonstrated my knowledge of the business and my value to the company . Without bragging , I knew more about Norris Enterprises than he and Roberta put together . The lone demerit on my work record was that I was male , so Jack , my jackass boss , promoted Roberta ahead of me . It was based on her sole quality ; she fucked like a mink . I suppose it was affirmative action since she never told him " no " . Now Roberta was in the slammer and the rest of the usual suspects were in the hospital . I had not been able to find out why , except that Tessa had a concussion and a broken nose . The extent or cause of the injuries to the other two were some sort of secret . I didn 't even know why Roberta had been arrested . The notion that they somehow blamed me was ludicrous . The house looked like a bomb had gone off . The front door was broken down and nailed back up in some half - assed fashion . I walked around to the kitchen door and let myself in . The first thing I noticed was a trail of blood coming down the stairs . Following it , I found even more pooling on my leather sofa . It appeared to have the texture of liver , and was very bright crimson . I decided " what the fuck " and ascended the stairs , being careful to avoid stepping in the blood trail . That became all but impossible when I entered my bedroom . Blood was everywhere . It covered the floor and the bed and was sprayed randomly over the walls and furniture . Then I saw the wrapped box with the pearl necklace in the corner of the room by my closet ! I quickly picked it up and opened it . I determined the necklace was intact and undamaged . I slipped it into my pocket . I studied the scene of the carnage , but was unable to make heads nor tails of the mess . I realized I should have watched more of those CSI shows and less reality TV . I left the house the way I found it and headed to the office . Tessa was instrumental in creating the gore , so she could clean it up , or make arrangements for the task . I was getting a bad feeling about the entire situation . The god damn OK Corral had less blood sprayed around it than my bedroom . That sort of thing seldom happened while sitting in bed , reading a romance novel . Marge was at the office when I arrived . It was readily apparent that there was a heightened state of anxiety . I guess having your superiors hospitalized or jailed creates a certain amount of tension . " Frank ! " called Marge Larson from her husband 's office as she motioned for me to join her . " I 'm glad you made it back so quickly . Have you been to the hospital ? " " Yeah , Marge . I told him where to find Jimmy Hoffa , Elvis , and Big Foot . I didn 't want to , but the guy was that clever and he tricked it out of me . What on God 's green earth could I tell him when I have no idea what the hell 's going on ? " I demanded heatedly . " How did you explain your brother - in - law being at your house ? You told me that your wife 's sister would be there to let me in . I passed that information on to Roberta . How did you get Jeff to go instead of June ? It was a stroke of genius , " she laughed . Have you ever sat in a conversation where you had no idea what was going on ? You understand each word that is being used , but collectively , they seem to have no meaning ? Then you wonder if maybe you had brain damage or stroked out ? I was feeling just like that . " My God , Frank ! You didn 't know anything , did you ? " rhetorically asked a bemused Marge . " You really did want Tessa to get that gift on her birthday ! You didn 't know about Jeff and had no idea he would be the one to let Roberta in to your house ! This is so precious ! " " I seem to be in the dark here , Marge , but I expect you to bring me up to speed , and damn quick . These obtuse references and statements are really pissing me off . Tell me what the fuck is going on ! I don 't have much time . I told the hospital I 'd be back at one to pick up Tessa and bring her home . Just spit it out , and tell me in plain English so I understand ! " " Jeff punched her in a fit of jealous rage when he found her riding my husband , cowgirl style . It was more than he could stand , so he smacked her hard and then started pounding Jack . He did a hell of a job on Jack 's balls and dick , too , not to mention breaking Jack 's jaw and knocking out pretty much every tooth in his head . " Tessa had been riding Jack ! Jeff became enraged and pounded Jack for me ? We had never been that close , but I would have to thank him for that . " Wow ! That 's a lot to swallow , Marge . Jack and Tessa have been playing hide the wiener ? Jeff caught them and pounded Jack for me ? I owe that schmuck , big time ! I feel bad about all the times I derided him , " I admitted . " No , Frank , you don 't ! " blurted Marge . " Jeff pounded Jack because he was jealous . He 's been banging your wife for years and went postal when he found out she was unfaithful to him ! " I staggered back and dropped into a chair . Jeff and Jack had both been tapping Tessa ? How could I have missed that ? It was obvious that if Marge was right , I would be in no hurry to get Tessa from the hospital . Why was Jeff hospitalized ? " Let me see if I have this right , Marge . Jeff went to my house to let Roberta in with my gift for Tessa . He and Roberta believed that both Tessa and Jack were out of town and the house would be empty . They somehow caught Tessa riding Jack . Jeff smacked Tessa around because he thought she was his exclusive slut . He then worked Jack over for fucking his slut . Is that accurate so far ? " I asked . " One small problem ! Number one boss lady forget that Jeff in hospital , too ! You think Jeff pound self senseless , though that would take precious little pounding , " I added in my best Charlie Chan imitation , which wasn 't very good . Marge actually grinned as she answered , " Jeff was shot in the femoral artery by Roberta . He bled like a stuck hog . The police had arrived just as she shot him and eventually broke your front door down . By that time , Jeff had dragged his ass down stairs and was bleeding all over your leather sofa . " " I see , " I replied , unable to think of anything snappier . " Are you going to tell me that Tessa was doing Roberta , too ? That 's just so wrong ! " " No , not Tessa , " explained Marge . " Roberta and Jack had been bumping bellies for a year or so . When she saw Jeff administering such a thorough ass kicking to her boss and lover , she pulled a handgun out of her coat pocket and shot Jeff . She 's been arrested for numerous firearms violations , as well as for shooting that asshole . " " It seems to me , Marge , that you are extremely well informed about this entire fiasco . Were you under the bed , or maybe even blowing Jeff at the time ? Nothing will surprise me at this point . " " Hardly , " chuckled Marge . " I had a private dick following Jack for the past few weeks . He was outside your house , listening through a device he had concealed in Jack 's pants . He was the one that called the cops when he heard Jeff going ape - shit . " " If you had a man following Jack , you must have known that he was in the house banging Tessa when you sent Roberta there to deliver the necklace . Didn 't it ever occur to you that there would be trouble ? Shit , Roberta 's made no secret about packing a gun . Everyone knew it , " I practically yelled at Marge . " Actually , Frank , it did occur to me that Annie Oakley might pull her old hog - leg out and dispense some frontier justice , " smiled Marge . " I just never expected your brother - in - law to be there . I never knew he was banging Tessa , either . I thought June would let Roberta in and be a reliable witness to whatever transpired . " byHarddaysknight © 102 comments / 174096 views / 40 favoritesShare the loveTweetReport a BugSubmit bug reportNext2 Pages : 1212GoLogin or Sign UpStoriesPoemsStory SeriesTags PortalChatForumAdult StoreMoviesWebcamsMobile VersionFAQSearchEnglish | Spanish | German | French | Dutch | Other languagesAll contents © Copyright 1998 - 2012 . Literotica is a trademark . No part may be reproduced in any form without explicit written permission . Terms Of Services | Report A Problem | PrivacyUsername : Password : Forgot your password ? Security code : Change pictureYour current user avatar , all sizes : You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation . 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On April 28 , 1955 , 14 - year - old Stephanie Bryan failed to return home after school in Oakland , California . Apart from finding a school textbook , the police had little to go on . A statewide search proved fruitless until July 15 , when Georgia Abbott reported that she had found some of Stephanie 's personal effects - a purse and ID card - in the basement of her Alameda home . When police searched the basement more thoroughly the next day , they dug up yet more books belonging to Stephanie , also her spectacles and a brassiere . Neither Georgia Abbott nor her 27 - year - old husband , Burton , an accounting student , could explain how the effects came to be there . Burton Abbott told police that at the time Stephanie disappeared , he was en route to the family 's vacation cabin , 285 miles away in the Trinity County mountains . On July 20 , the battered body of Stephanie Bryan was found lying in a shallow grave , just 335 feet from Abbott 's cabin . Soon afterwards he was charged with murder and rape . When Abbott 's trial got under way November 7 , 1955 , his guilt seemed a foregone conclusion . Certainly the Bay Area newspapers thought so , judging from the virulent campaign they had waged against the defendant all summer long , but it was soon clear that the case against Abbott was purely circumstantial : not one direct piece of evidence existed to link him to the death of Stephanie Bryan . Fu … Just about the only person unaffected by these antics was the defendant himself . Throughout the trial , Abbott maintained an air of detached amusement . A man of some refinement - he played better than average chess , enjoyed crosswords and created haute cuisine dishes - Abbott didn 't bother to stifle his contempt for all that was happening . He displayed that same cockiness on the wi … Please include a link to this page if you have found this material useful for research or writing a related article . Content on this website is from high - quality , licensed material originally published in print form . You can always be sure you 're reading unbiased , factual , and accurate information . I was eleven years old , riding my bike in El Cerrito , CA when I noticed a man who was at many stop signs right next to me . I did not pay much attention until I took a deserted road to a shot cut through quarry tailings . This is when this man ran me off the dirt road , got out of his car an headed toward me . I picked up my bike to face the direction I had been , jumped on and got away to an area where there were other children outside . A few minutes later , this man 's car slowed down and stared at me . Anyway , when his picture appeared on the top fold of a Bay Area paper I was shocked . . . . It was this very man . All of you who think that Burton Abbott was railroaded , please banish the thought . Burton Abbott was a weak , pathetic , little man who inwardly hated women . His true disdain was for both is wife and his mother , both of whom ironically stood by him to the very end . The tragedy was that he chose a gentle little soul like Stephanie Bryan to inflict his cruel and brutal rage upon . This little worm of a man destroyed the Bryan family as well as his own . Stephanie 's father , Dr . Charles Bryan died three years after Stephanie 's murder of a massive heart attack . This was due to the stress of his daughter 's murder , he left behind a widow and four surviving orphans . His wife Mary Bryan had to return to the work force to support her family . The Bryan children still bear the emotional scars of this ordeal to this day as do some of Stephanie 's friends . It all could have been avoided if this self centered little atheistic psychopath had let Stephanie walk home in peace and respected her human rights . Sadly , this tragedy has been repeated countless times throughout the United States only the victims and perpetrators are different . In April of ' 54 I spent weekends and the summer on my dad 's gold claim on Hayfork Greek about 4 - 5 miles downstream from the Abbot cabin , which was where Chanchelulla Gulch bisected the creek . The night of the abduction we pulled off Wildwood Road and slept next to the care and continued on in daylight so we could see ; there was no road . It haunted me as a kid to think that they likely drove past us that night . There were almost no cars on that road at night . Heard some local men tell my dad that they 'd torched the cabin after the trial . I believe that Harold Jackson 's dogs discovered another body very close to the same cabin a generation before . Have no details on that except the locals said that was also a murder . Harold died in 2007 at 95 years of age . almost 6 years ago My mother named me for Stephanie Bryant . I was born during the search for her . I was told that I was named for a young girl that disappeared and was eventually found murdered . I decided to google the topic to try and learn more of my namesake . I can 't stop thinking about DNA evidence , for instance , the hairs found in Abbott 's car . I realized most everyone associated with this case is long gone , but I can 't stop thinking about it . Would the physical evidence still exist and what would it take to have it tested ? Okay , today is Mother 's Day and yes , when April 28th came and went this year , it wasn 't without thinking about all that happened in 1955 . . . I still have reservations about the outcome . I also cna 't help but wonder what the motive would have been at the time . . I hope Chris ( I understand he changed his name ) is doing all right and able to have had a half - way decent life . . My heart also goes out to Stephanies 's siblings and hope all is well with them also . . . 5 / 10 / 09 Okay , I have just one question for those of you that think he was framed . . . why would the person framing him bury Stephanie 's personal items in the corner of his basement under 12 inches of sand ? ? Why not just leave it out in the open ? If you wanted to frame someone , you wouldn 't hide the evidence ; you would leave it out in the open so the authorities would find it easily . Who feels comfortable enough to hang out in someone 's basement for how ever long it takes to dig items as deep as they can get them . Or , if you 're going to try to frame them , why not just under a few inches of sand . Why bury them a whole foot under the sand ? We all know how heavy sand is and what a pain it is to uncover a whole foot of it . Got it ? ! Plus , although the author of " A Trail of Corn " expresses that he doesn 't think Burton is guilty ( the author just happened to be a close friends with Burton 's mother , Elsie ) , he discloses many things in the book that points to Burton 's guilt . For instance , Burton told his uncle ( 2 times before Stephanie 's disappearance ) that his cabin in Wildwood " was so remote that you could kill someone and bury them up there and no one would know . " Also , Burton 's brother Mark ( who was very upset and crying about finding " the murder weapon " ) found a bloody hammer in his sleeping bag from that weekend trip and gave it to Burton 's attorney , who said , " We 've made sure it dissapeared . " Now , I want that guy for my lawyer if I 'm ever guilty of anything . Then again , maybe not . Another thing , when Mark and Burton were returning home that weekend and caravanning together , they stopped to get gas . Burton finished pumping gas and went ahead on his trip down the road . At the same spot that Stephanie 's French book was found the next day behind a short fence by passer - byers , Mark saw Burton 's car pulled over and Burton looking in the bushes for something . I surmise that Burton started throwing Stephanie 's items out the car window and then realized his fingerprints could be on her items . " Hmmm , I better pull over and pick them back ualmost 9 years ago I was 8 years old in SF when this happened . My mother didn 't want me to know about it , but I would sneak the newspaper at night to read the day 's story . As an adult I 've read the two books " A Trail of Corn " and " Shallow Grave in Trinity County . " I do believe Abbott did it , but I don 't understand why there was not more blood , etc . found . It still haunts me to this day . I 've had thoughts of retracing the route up to Wildwood but have never quite gotten the courage . I read all of your comments with interest , because I also was eight years old when Stephanie was kidnapped and it has left a lasting impression on me . I lived in Berkely , not far from the Claremont Hotel and my best friend 's father was a teacher at the Jr High where Stephanie attended school . I remember being terribly upset by this incident , which I feel was life changing as a child and as an adult . As a mother , I would never allow my daughter to travel to a friend 's home alone , etc . I think the most heart felt thing that I remember as a child , was praying every night for Stephanie 's safe return and the terrible saddness day after day when she did not return . I cannot imagine the pain uffered by her or her family . over 9 years ago I wonder if they could solidify the links now with DNA . Like ALH , I was about 8 years old when this hit the papers , and I 've remembered it all this time - probably because it was so close to home and because it was the first time I had heard of anything like it . I don 't know enough about the case itself to question the verdict , but I do remember that the journalistic style was very sensational - more like a pulp magazine . The Abbott cabin is no longer there . You can 't even find a trace of it . I 'm a retired deputy sheriff from the Bay Area . I visited the area with another retired deputy and we couldn 't find anything . We stopped at the Wildwood Inn and had coffee with the owner . He came to Wildwood long after the original owner of the Inn sold it . Kind of creepy visiting the site where Burton Abbott went after he buried Stephanie . Abbott got roaring drunk here most likely in an effort to deaden his guilt over what he had done . Wildwood is indeed a very remote place , even in 2010 . I can imagine it was the ends of the Earth in 1955 . I was 15 when this happened and my sister was 14 . This murder had a frightening emotional impact on both of us . My mother feared that Abbott had been framed and the guilty party went free but my sister and I feel he was guilty and his punishment was just . I knew the cabin had been demolished and prob a good thin BUT I still believe to this day he was innocent . The artifacts found in the basemtn were planted there as mentioned in one of the many articles in the Oakland Tribune stated his son went into his parents bedroom one night and tried to tell his parents that someone wa sin the basement and they dismissed it as coming from a young child he must have made it up . Besides , what motive did abbot have ? I was about 8 going on 30 when it happened and followed it closely on a daily basis and it still haunts me to this day as something happening so close to home . I am in OR now and worked in law enforcement as a civilian . Too many facts that he couldn 't have done it were overlooked and to be tried and convicted on circumstancial evidence was ludicrious . By the time it went to trial , he had been convicted in the court of public opinion . Is there anything left in the way of evidence that could be tested now ? mandysmom1946 @ yahoo . com Well , today is 4 / 14 / 10 and it 's approaching the 28th once again and I still can 't shake that day in 1955 when it all started . It has been mentioned in one of the e - mails that the State of CA is fighting using any familial DNA against any on file to see if there is any evidence that truly exonerates Burton of the henious crime he was executed for . It would put to rest the lingering thoughts we all have had for years . Not sure why is still haunts so many of us but I for one would like to know one way or another the results . Remember , he was tried and convicted on circumstantial evidence and why would he have buried evidence in his own basement only to know that it would have likely been found ? I remember from the Tribunes own reportings that Chris told his parents one night that he had seen someone in the basement and that his parents thought he was making it up and didn 't believe him because of his age . There are still too many unanswered questions here . I , for one , would like to see it " reopened " / " reconstructed " , for lack of a better words from start to finish with the technology we now have and see what conclusions a neutral person ( s ) comes up with . And if the right person was tried and convicted of the crime , then it can be put to rest , once and for all . I seem to recall that this particular case was a career boost for the DA at the time . Perhaps , with the haste that this case took from trial to execution , vital information was left out . It does happen . Again , I can 't help but wonder why the hesitation on the part of the State of Ca to conduct tests if it will give us what they have stated for so long OR are they afraid that maybe an agregious miscarriage of justice took place . What do they have to lose at this point ? Except possibly the truth . Remember , there was a last minute reprieve but recd too late . Here it is May of 2010 , and I 've never forgotten this story . As an 8 year old , it became imprinted on my brain . It was probably my first notice of what goes on in the real world besides the Mouseketeers or cartoons . It happened on a street we passed several times a week going to my grandmothers . To this day I can 't drive the 13 highway without thinking of Stephanie Bryan or Abbott . My parents had told me there were no real monsters . They were wrong . They existed , and one lived down the street from my grandpa in Alameda . Burton W . Abbott . At 10 years of age I sat in a classroom , not listening to the teacher , but watching the clock , knowing the evil dragon was about to be slain in San Quentin . Today , I watched John Gardner sentenced to 3 + life terms for killing Chelsea King and Amber Dubois , knowing MY little girl was sitting in the courtroom seeing yet another Monster go to prison . She is a reporter and has become a friend of Amber 's mother . Mr . King , as hard as it was for him , did the right thing by allowing a plea bargain to take death penalty off the table . He gave closure to another family and brought their daughter home . By this unselfish act , he put Gardner in to the general prison population , instead of a safe cell on death row . He won 't live long . He knows it . He will suffer . He knows it . His tears today were for himself , not the girls he took away . HIs mother could have stopped this , and turned him in long ago , but a part of me knows that no matter what your child does , you still love them . I understand , but have no sympathy for her . Now that I am 63 , I know these monsters are everywhere . I wish Abbott had been the last , but it just gets worse . As I said , my parents were wrong . THERE ARE MONSTERS OUT THERE . I 'm just sorry my daughter has had to see so many in her career . They come in all shapes and sizes , all races , and hide their terrible secrets away in their minds . We spot them to late . This year when I return to the bay area , I will be driving past there again , and remembering a young girl who never gI have commented many times on this venue and continue to be haunted by this case . Unlike Laci Peterson 's case , which was cut & dry , this one is still a puzzle . Not to take away from what has happend to the deceased 's family and the son of Burton , I still believe he was innocent and still have to wonder why the state of CA won 't pursue the DNA . Yes , politics played a role but the state has a chance to put this to rest and should the evidence point in another direction , it 's never too late . There is no statute on murder and this case deserves another looking into . It was controversial at the time . Has anyone else noticed , in reading these comments , that many of us were youngsters at the time but taken in by the mystery of what happened at such a young age ? remember , this was something that just didn 't happen back then , unlike now when it 's all too common place unfortunately . I 'm in the process of reading " Shallow Grave in Trinity County " and have no doubt at all about Abbott 's guilt from the evidence that was uncovered . Not only were Stephanie 's bra and other items found buried in his basement and Stephanie 's purse found in the basement as well , but her body was discovered in a shallow grave just 339 feet from the rural cabin where Abbott traveled the very same weekend of Stephanie 's disaappearance . The cabin is located 250 miles away from where Abbott lived and from where Stephanie was abducted . Abbott was a regular customer at a coffee shop located near whene Stephanie was abducted and where students from Stephanie 's school frequently stopped . Given the evidence , what other possible explanation is there if Abbott didn 't do it ? I was eight and lived about a mile from the grave site . A friend of mine and I were walking home from swimming when we smelled the body . My dog dug in the grave and smelled awful . I told my mother when I got home and she thougt it was just a dead animal . I don 't recall all the events , but Stephanis 's body was discovered shortly after . There was talk about Burton being at the Wildwood Inn a week or so previously , acting nervous , making frequent trips to his car . I remember the day they found Stephanie . I was there when they placed her in our wood shop to wait for proper transportation . My vivid memory was seeing her under a sheet and her dark hair hanging down . She has stuck in my memory all these years . I personally believe Burton did it . I am going to order the books , if I can find them . Thanks guys ; I thought I was the only one who continues to remember . I was 7 when Stephanie was kidnapped . Once her effects were discovered and Abbott became a suspect , the story was a nightly topic at our dinner table in San Leandro . I suppose having two sisters close to Stephanie 's age has something to do with my memories . Having followed the case ( and many similar cases off and on for some fifty years I am not really surprised at the amount of ignorance and ( of course ) vituperatiion displayed by a number of correspondents on this board . The few who give evidence of having read anything about the case rely on highly selective passages from the bitter4ly prejudiced " A Shallow Grave " ( written by a man who admits he condemned Abbott the first before he had any evidence whatsoever ) and less than a single paragraph compiled in toto from minute , widely separated , passages from the seven hundred ( excellentlly reasoned ) pages of " A Field of Corn " . The author never fails to report a fact when he finds it going against Abbott , but the ovrwhelming balance of evidence was that he was hundreds of miles away when Stephanie died . Abbott never varied an iota from his original account of how he spent the day of the murder and he was supported by many witnesses only one of whom ( the local mayor ) and ever seen him befoere or ever saw him afterwards . Two separate time - clocked receipts vouched for by two independent witnesses of unimpeached character placed abbott hundreds of miles away at the exact minute the State claimed Abbott was strangling Stephanie . The wife of a US admiral ( if my recollection does not desert me after half a century ) offered her evidence that Abbott was not in LA at the places the State claimed him to be . And there were lots of similar witnesses . If Abbott is so plainly guilty why is the State still bitterly fighting DNA analysis of the surviving exhibits . That could still settle it one way or the other . The will not be settled by the disgusting hysteria so blataantly exhibited in these " contributions " . about 10 years ago Are you kidding me ? You think Burton Abbott was innocent ? Do you also think Scott Peterson was innocent ? Burton actually admitted to the head psychiatrist 23 days before he was put to death that he couldn 't admit to his guilt because it would ruin his mom . Read the book " A Shallow Grave in Trinity County " dummy ! Sharon Olds wrote a poem on this case called " 1954 " . Then dirt scared me , because of the dirthe had put on her face . And her training brascared me - the newspapers , morning and evening , kept saying it , training bra , as if the cups of it had been callingthe breasts up - he buried her in it , perhaps he had never bothered to take itoff . They found her underpantsin a garbage can . And I feared the wordeczema , like my acne and likethe X in the paper which marked her body , as if he had killed her for not being flawless . I feared his name , Burton Abbott , the first name that was a last name , as if he were not someone specific . It was nothing one could learn from his face . His face was dull and ordinary , it took away what I 'd thought I could count onabout evil . He looked thin and lonely , it was horrifying , he looked almost humble . I felt awe that dirt was so impersonal , and pity for the training bra , pity and terror of eczema . And I could not sit on my mother 's electricblanket anymore , I began to have a fear of electricity - the good people , the parents , were going tofry him to death . This was whathis parents had been telling us : Burton Abbott , Burton Abbott , death to the person , death to the home planet . The worst thing was to think of her , of what it had been to be her , alive , to be walked , alive , into that cabin , to look into those eyes , and see the human . In answer to the last correspondent . Yes , I have read the psychologist 's statement and I have also read the statement of the priest who confessed Abbott immediately prior to his death . While the priest was not allowed to reveal the contents of Burton 's last statement , he clearly stated what he could : that he had no reason whatsoever to believe that Burton Abbott killed Stephanie . The book which you cite was written by a reporter who believed Abbott guilty from day one . He has stated his position in the most eloquent language possible . It is quite obvious that this was not the only reasonable perspective to the story . There were three possibly innocent people executed at about this time : Barbara Graham , Caryl Chessman , and Burton Abbott . The last two died while legal writs had been issued stopping the execution on the grounds of reasonable doubt . In the furor that followed the state tried desperately to find people who would swear the executed defendants had confessed . ( After all they were in no position to contradict any such perjured testimony ) The doctor you mentioned very belatedly appeared at this time . Many ( most ? ) people would consider the priest 's evidence more credible that a doctor who owed his living to the people who staged the executions . almost 6 years ago I am interested in this case because my grandfather ( Harry Whitehead ) was the jury foreman of and he spoke of it often . Bud Abbott did have part of one of his lungs removed ; however he could carry a dead deer over his shoulders and demonstrated this to the jury . Also , his wife did not marry his brother . Does anyone know the location of the Abbott cabin ? I assume it is no loger there . Was it north of wildwood on Hayfork creek ? over 7 years ago I can 't believe that there are people who believe Abbot was innocent . It 's ridiculous to say that he was framed . Why would a killer who had gotten away with murder frame someone ? ! There wouldn 't be any reason to do so ! The evidence presented in the book is incredibly overwhelming . There is no doubt in my mind that Abbot was indeed the killer & rightfully put to death . over 7 years ago OK , Then if " A Trail of Corn " is right on the money please explain what happened to Burton Abbott 's camp hatchet ? Mark Abbott gave it to Whitney and Hove who deliberately withheld and / or destroyed the evidence . I have a similar camp hatchet too . I took the blunt , non - blade end and twice smashed it into a watermelon . . . guess what happened ? Two keyhole sized holes measuring the SAME as what was in Stephanie Bryan 's skull ! Yes WHERE is the hatchet with the bloodstains on it ? Let 's DNA match that with a sample from Miss Bryan 's siblings and pass final judgment on this little creep who enjoyed S & M porn and who admitted to the shrink at San Quentin that he wouldn 't come clean on the crime because of his mama . Of course he is guilty ! How many people do you know that claim they were " set up " when they have been caught ? 100 % of criminals thats who ! How does this girls personal belongings end up at HIS house and then her poor body discovered at HIS cabin ? He is a sick little worm , and he got less than what he really deserved . . . he should have been forced to experience all the pain and suffering that Stephaine and her family did ! about 10 years ago This case has been a haunting one all my life as I was a grown up 8 year when it happened with a penchant for mystery and followed it every day in the Oakland Tribune from day one till the end . It happened so close to home and nothing like that had ever happened till then . . I had to read it when my parents weren 't around as they didn 't think it was fitting to be reading about a homicide at my age . . . . . not sure why I keep thinking about it but I still believe that Abbott was innocent . . . I know most of the key players are gone now except for Burton and Georgia 's son and Stephanies siblings . . . about 8 years ago I am currently reading the book by Harry Farrell , one of the reporters who covered this case . I had never heard of the case before I picked up the book ~ a true - crime buff here . I 'll wait ' til I finish the book to pass judgement , but with all those items buried in the basement , a few in an ALL laundry detergent box , it doesn 't look good . . . During the trial , Mr . Burton 's doctor provided evidence that the defendant was missing part , if not all , of a lung and was physically incapable of carrying the body from a car to where it was discovered . It was a family cabin and his entire family had access to it . As a matter of interest , not long after the execution ( if my memory serves me right ) , his wife married his brother . Strange ? Everyone seems to assume that some kind of DNA study would clear up this case . DNA is organic , and does not last forever . I is almost certainly degraded to a more or less extent after all these years , especially because those involved in the case would have known little or nothing about how to collect and preserve it . While DNA in some circumstances can last for hundreds of years , it can also become useless after weeks or months . Copyright © 2017 Net Industries
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I was paying bills and tossing a bunch of junk mail into the recycling bin when Daniel started rifling through the container . Daniel loves the recycling bin . He sees it as his own personal supply chain for making " projects " ( usually a bunch of random cereal boxes and pop cans duct - taped together ) . Something caught his attention . Daniel : Why did you throw this away , mom ? ? It 's a contest from our bank ! I can win $ 25 for writing a poem about my dog ! It is beyond me how kids can remember things . Stubie came home in a plastic bag after a field trip to the pet store when Dan was in 3 - year - old preschool . Despite my best efforts to kill Stubie that night , he persisted for a solid 3 months before meeting his demise . The cause of death is still under investigation . Satisfied that I seemed to have green - lighted an entry into the Bank 's " Pooch Poetry Contest , " Daniel went to work . Dan 's motto ? When in doubt , resurrect your dead fish . I must say , I was quite surprised by the quality of his work . So much in fact , that my Tiger - Mom persona kicked in . I made him re - write it three times with black Sharpie for dramatic effect and to improve legibility . I asked that he include gills on his fish . I almost wished I hadn 't promised to turn it over to the bank as I fought the urge to laminate it and keep it for myself . I 'm thinking future blogger . So with a a solid entry in place , I will be dropping off Daniel 's tragic lament of a goldfish apparently lost at sea . Did I mention there was no physical evidence to link me to Stubie 's death ? And as for the final vestiges of Stubie 's existence , they have been carefully put aside for my next garage sale : My phone . . . my old - fashioned , nobody - actually - calls - on - it - phone . . . has been ringing off the hook this month . The answering machine 's red blinking light will not take a break . What was this all about ? Did I win Publisher 's Clearing House ? Did somebody need a kidney ? Did I leave a kid at the park ? Like all vigilant mothers after a long day , I wrapped a Mike 's Hard Cranberry Lemonade in my favorite Hanukkah coolie , grabbed the Cheetos , and anxiously played my answering machine to see what the fuss was all about : Well , that was a relief . Of course the next several messages were also courtesy of CPS . The new CEO of the school system was on there , reminding me of the importance of first day attendance . Joe happened to walk downstairs when that message was playing : Joe : Nice coolie by the way . That one 's mine . Thief . After getting through the barrage of other messages from assorted Chicago celebrities and politicians advising me that education in Chicago is important , I decided to wade through the mail instead . There was a letter from CPS reiterating the popular " get your ass in school " mantra of the month . I called my best friend to vent . As I don 't believe she 's been properly introduced , I 've known " Best Friend " since I was 13 when we both wore granny underwear in the 8th grade locker room and bonded over being nerds . Me : ( reluctantly ) No . But Atheist - Friend always calls me the week before and reminds to get school supplies . She even tells me which stores have the best sales on dishwashing soap , Clorox wipes , and paper towels for going back to school . Best Friend : Nice supply list . Are your kids going back to school or cleaning the school ? I was invited by Atheist - Friend to join her family at their local pool this past Saturday . It didn 't take much convincing . The temperature was going to be 102 and her pool allows you to drink and carry in Brown 's Chicken . Good and good . Yet somewhere between Jack 's piano lesson and Dan 's piano lesson , I received a series of texts . Apparently , Atheist - Friend 's street was having their block party that day and Atheist - Friend 's husband was lobbying hard for that event instead . The texts went along the lines of : Although I appreciated the minute - by - minute updates , I was more impressed with Atheist - Friend 's texting abilities . It takes me an hour to figure out how to send a reply of " yes . " But of course I don 't have a text - friendly phone and need to press buttons in rapid succession in order to get letters to appear . I also don 't know how to erase which leads to my texts being generally indecipherable and to speculation that I might have a drinking problem . That refrain was heard throughout the day each time a kid needed to be iced down . Or when my husband pressed a cold water against his temple . Or even when I got bit by a mosquito . In her mind , the preferred pool option would have prevented all of the world 's problems including plague , pestilence , and the national debt ceiling crisis . What is that ? You come with your own personal air freshener now ? Personally , if I was Atheist - Friend 's husband , I would have saved myself the grief and just gone to the pool . So for the first time that week , I enjoyed several hours of unadulterated peace as the kids raced up and down the block , bounced to their hearts ' content , and beat the ever living sh * t out of some pinata . A grand time was had by all . Here is how I will remember Joey for the better part of 6 hours : I 'm thinking about writing a regular feature on the treasures I find at second - hand shops . Back in the day when I used to shop the sale rack at Nordstrom 's wearing heels and hose , I thought my mom was nuts for patronizing resale shops . I would begrdugingly accompany her to places with names like Bibles for Missions ( resale shop whose proceeds go to buy bibles ) and Once Upon a Child . Watching my mom in action was quite the sight . She would race over to the toy section to find used dolls and books for her granddaughters . Then she would head to housewares for old linens . My mom loves vintage tableclothes . The lacier , the better . I don 't think I even own a tablecloth . Despite her enthusiasm , I remained skeptical and couldn 't get over how dirty everything seemed . My mom kept trying to assure me that items could easily be run through the dishwasher or washing machine and turn out beautifully . But I continued steadfast in my refusual to touch anything from these stores . After years of being elbow deep in poop , it now takes a lot more than a dusty old cup to gross me out . Every weekend after piano lessons , I stop by my mom 's with the kids and we head off to Goodwill , Bibles for Missions , and Spree . The boys know what we 're on the hunt for : Vintage Little People , Thomas Wooden Trains , Legos . We map out our strategy before we even get to the door : divide and conquer . . . never let your cart out of your site ( people are known for poaching items that have high value on Ebay ) . . . if you 're not sure , put it in your basket because if you wait , it 'll be gone . So once again , life has come full - circle . Despite my vows to the contrary , I am now a second - generation second - hand junkie . I feel a bit like Sanford & Son ( theme song here ) , except instead of the old orange pick - up truck , I have a blue minivan with fold - down seating for extra storage . Of course everybody notices . Joe 's response can be heard each morning at about 6 am as he pulls a pair on his feet , " What the f @ * k ? ! " Danny simply takes them off and tosses them back in the laundry pile hoping for a different result from the next spin cycle . Jack holds them up confusedly , shrugs his shoulders , and puts them on anyway because he 's the only child who really loves me . Joey , being the sole OCD kid in the mix , instantly goes ballistic and throws himself on the floor in a massive display of over - reaction , crying , " Why dees socks wrong , mommy . . . why dey so wroooong ? ? ? " Every time I knowingly mismatch a pair of socks , I start thinking about that old Sesame Street song , " One of these things is not like the other " ( click link for Cookie Monster 's rendition ) . Then I think about all the other things I have encountered in day - to - day operations that don 't belong together . Like the rubber duckie found swimming in our toliet . Or the open tube of Neosporin discovered next to the boys ' toothbrushes . Even my television preferences seem at odds with each other : I 'm thinking about pitching a show to NBC about a serial killer who only slays people to the beat of Broadway musicals . It really doesn 't fit any kind of personality profile for a person to be obsessed with a show about a serial killer as well as a program that embraces all things kitsch - musical . But that 's where I 'm at . ( Quick shout - out to my sister Megan who mailed me Season 1 of Glee when she read on my blog I was hoarding my Coke Rewards Points for this very boxed set . Perhaps I should have mentioned I was instead saving Coke points for . . . I don 't know . . . having my stomach raised up from knee - level and put back in its original position ? Meg ? You still there ? ) My husband and I don 't always seem to be an obvious pair either . People often think I 'm nicer than he is because I smile more and don 't swear as much . Yet Joe is the one who calmly stays up with sick and vomiting children while I 'm threatening to put them in foster care . Joe gives money to people on street corners and once even handed a homeless guy the gloves I gave him for Christmas during a particularly cold Chicago night . My comment ? You could have just said you didn 't like them . I get irritated with the Street Wise people . I tell them to stop harassing moms pushing double strollers and hauling diaper bags . When they try to throw their hot bagels at me in retaliation , I remind them that it 's been 7 years since I ate anything warm . They sit down on the sidewalk in their schizophrenic haze telling me I 'm a bad person . That doesn 't stop me . I start yelling that I don 't sit down each day until after 11 pm . Even Dexter is viewed from a standing position while folding laundry at a kitchen table . By the time I 'm ready to walk away , the homeless person is frantically looking around for a police officer to rid himself of the psychopathic mom threatening to steal their hot bagel . You get the idea . My ability to maintain calm died years ago . Murdered by the reality of daily poop and boogars . There are days where I dream of world where this is no poop or boogars at all . Over the rainbow maybe . Where poop and boogars melt like lemon drops . Or not . While my husband and I may not seem to be a natural match , it seems to work . At least until he wins PowerBall , drops me like a hot potato , and gets himself a shiny new trophy wife . But until then , I will continue to offer him mismatched socks and a stack of take - out menus each night . Some women look for husbands with money or exceptional looks . I looked for a man with unwavering sanity . Somebody needed to balance out my crazy . One of a handful of pictures of Joe & I together and I 'm pregnant . Anyone know how to Photoshop out my cheeks ? My grandparents lived in a tiny two - bedroom house in Beverly many years ago . To this day , I have no idea how they managed to jam six kids and a dog in that place . My grandfather was a Chicago policeman who spent his Depression - era youth in a Roosevelt work camp to help support his parents and siblings . He lived most of his life convinced that the sky was about to fall - a common view amongst many Irish of that generation . I have some very early memories of visiting my grandparents at their house on Washtenaw . Riding out from the burbs , my siblings and I knew we were getting close when we started spying all the Virgin Mary statues on people 's front lawns . It became a game : who could find " a Mary " the fastest ? It was like Where 's Waldo ? The 1977 Edition . Even though I 've lived in Beverly for almost 6 years , it just recently dawned on me that I have never seen a Virgin Mary statue since we arrived . I suppose generations change , displays of faith alter , and saints go out of vogue ( being the bad Catholic I am , I had to Google " Mary " to make sure she 's actually a canonized saint . Apparently , she 's considered a " super - saint " . . . who knew ? ) . So at a block party on Saturday , I caught a glimpse across the street of a Virgin Mary statue praying in some shrubbery . I grabbed my camera to take a picture of this throw - back display . As I was clicking away , my husband walked up . I have instilled a deep responsibility for any mess my boys create . Therefore , they frequently attempt to rectify gross negligence in the areas of spilling , leaking , and messing before discovery is made . Being as they are only 7 , 5 , and 3 , I can usually spot the work of an amateur from a mile away . Despite this , they persist . I watched the news for hours yesterday while folding laundry . The coverage of the Oslo bombing and shootings left me feeling angry and sad . So I diverted my eyes back to my piles of unfolded clothes . And then I recognized the shirt I was holding . It was the very t - shirt my husband wore on our 2nd date . The man throws nothing away . It made me smile : Joe continues to wear this shirt regularly . For him , it 's one part tongue - in - cheek and one part , " No , really . " If only those who commit horrible crazy acts of violence could choose a similar method to express their displeasure , discontent , or overall disturbed nature . Watching the recent Diane Sawyer interview with kidnap victim Jaycee Dugard , I was left an emotional basket case . My husband unsuspectingly walked into our bedroom that Sunday evening to find me sobbing my way through the interview and demanding GPS tracking devices immediately installed in all 3 children . Besides the obvious empathy a person would have for Jaycee and her family , I also felt an enormous amount of gratitude towards the two campus police officers who simply got a bad vibe off kidnapper Phillip Garrido and finally brought Jaycee home after 18 years . The women described their basic " maternal instinct " as the reason they chose to act . It got me thinking about my own maternal instincts and whether or not I actually have any . After all , I am not a particularly focused or alert person . I lost Daniel at a block party when he was 2 . I never remember to tell the Prompt Care doctors that my kids are allergic to penicillin . I let the boys march up to the counter at McDonald 's to get me scalding hot coffee while I run Joey to the bathroom . Am I a neglectful mother ? Didn 't I just allow my 7 - year - old to accompany his father on some kind of raucous " we 're all turning 40 " party at some random lake this past week ? Initially , I had strictly forbidden any of my children to participate in this adventure , citing the deadly combination of alcohol , water , and small children . Then I got to thinking . Was I being selfish ? Who would save my husband in my stead ? Who could report on potential dangers ? Who is observant enough to alert people if anything went askew ? Due to my belief that this entire weekend water event had not been properly vetted , I felt a trustworthy chaperone needed to be assigned . I just wasn 't up for it . But who ? The answer was clear : Daniel . Captain Morality . King of Righteousness and Order . The Prince of Piousness . After all , isn 't this the kid who spent the last 2 years advising teachers on which children ran with scissors ? In Daniel 's book , there are only extremes : good vs . evil , right vs . wrong , what mommy says vs . what daddy says . Yup . Daniel would make sure my husband and perhaps several of his friends would come back alive and well . Three years of swimming lessons . A strong moral compass . Unyielding focus . I couldn 't think of a better appointment . Daniel did return his father safe and sound in time for a family christening on Sunday . I realized that whatever maternal instincts skipped over me landed squarely on my son 's shoulders instead . He is a marvelous watchdog , protector , and humanitarian - at times annoyingly righteous , and other times remarkably kind and loyal . Now if he could just keep the rest of his family flying right . . . . Daniel quickly outlined his conditions : Call them back , mom . I will go if it 's ' Transformers ' or ' Harry Potter . ' If it 's anything else , forget it . I knew my odds of reducing the child load for a few hours were zero when I heard the selected movie was Winnie the Pooh . Thankfully , Miniature - Friend and I agreed to meet up the next day for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 . It was an exceptionally hot one in Chicago yesterday , and I was feeling bloated . Air conditioning and Swedish Fish seemed the perfect antidote . Maybe I could even get a nap in . So I lined up the babysitter ( Joey hates loud movies ) and firmed up plans . I was surprised to see my husband walk in yesterday morning after his 24 hour shift at the firehouse . No 2nd job call . Do I cancel the babysitter ? Which parent goes to the movies ? Joe suggested we keep the babysitter and head out together to see Harry Potter . Like a date even . Well one hour later , my husband was annoyed that I insisted we make a Target candy run ( I mean did he think I of all people was really going to pay $ 5 for one box of Junior Mints at the theatre ? ) . We drove into the parking lot right at the movie 's posted " start time . " He continued to grumble about being late and got even testier when in a heat - induced snit , I snapped , " you have heard of previews , right ? They take like 20 minutes . " Distracted as I dolled out Target candy to our group , I couldn 't dissuade Joe as he snuck off to buy $ 20 popcorn . We were sitting directly behind our boys and their little friends . Did my husband honestly think the little beggars were going to be happy with their discounted Kit Kats once the smell of movie popcorn wafted past them ? The moment the hungry little gaggle realized popcorn was in the possession of an accompanying adult , the requests started . Thankfully , I am well - versed in the rules of $ 20 popcorn purchases and the free - refill amendment . I couldn 't tell you what the Bill of Rights encompasses , but free popcorn I know . I assured the kiddies that Mr . Crabby Toes would eat the first bag of popcorn , and I would turn over the refill to them for the 2nd half of the movie . I shot daggers at my husband who just looked at me like " what ? " Not having a clue about the storyline since the first Harry Potter movie , all 3 adults were completely baffled by the plot . But all 3 adults were keenly aware that this was a far more violent and less child - friendly movie than the first . My husband continued to look at me with horror each time a particularly upsetting scene came on the screen . What was I exposing our children to ? The Swedish Fish sugar crash caused me to snap again : Those freakin ' flying monkeys in ' The Wizard of Oz ' were ungodly frightening , too . Leave me alone . You 're not coming next time . You can stay home and watch ' Swamp People ' or ' Storage Wars ' or whatever makes you happy . And with that , we got the twelfth request inside of 20 minutes to take another kid to the bathroom thanks in large part to the free - refill quart of pink lemonade . Just like a date . Miniature - Friend was worried about the kids having nightmares . I figured they spent half the time in the bathroom and the other half of the time asking when Joe was going to be done with the first round popcorn so they could have their free refill . I tried to assure her : I was ready for the tie - dye shirts . The camp sent home notices so I had some time to wrap my brain around drippy & messy t - shirts making their way into my home . I reminded myself that this kind of activity was a right of passage for little kids during the summer . I rehearsed the scene in my mind . I discussed coping devices with friends . So when I picked up my minivan full of campers toting leaky plastic bags of disaster , I was able to maintain some passable version of sanity . What I wasn 't ready for was pointy & sticky . Pointy & sticky made their appearance in the minivan yesterday without any warning . No note . No time to seek counsel or Valium . Giant plates of sticky marshmallows stabbed with pointy sticks greeted me as I claimed my campers . Pointy & sticky exist on a whole different level than drippy & messy . Drippy & messy impact the prefrontal cortex of the brain . Pointy & sticky attack the entire central nervous system . A head 's up from the camp counselors or local neurologist should have been required . Now there are probably some moms out there who do not fully appreciate the differences between drippy & messy and pointy & sticky . Let me explain . Drippy & messy intrude on a mother 's desire to maintain a certain amount of order in her world . Non - washable dye dripped on leather interiors ( albeit used leather interiors ) violates that basic human need . Pointy & sticky cunningly deliver a two - pronged attack on a mother 's psyche . First , there is the obvious safety issue . Amped up little boys should simply not be allowed to run around with plates full of mini - daggers and a complete disregard for long - term vision care . Second , we have the sticky issue . Contrary to drippy ( whose path can be easily followed and maintained ) , sticky is akin to an aggressive cancer , spreading its unpleasant nature to all elements of car , home , clothing , remote controls , etc . Even when you believe you have sent sticky into complete remission , you often find it persists somewhere . Like your hairbrush or telephone . Unlike Jack , who devoured his pointy & sticky offering within moments of bouncing into the car , Daniel opted to save his project . He asked me when we could go have it laminated . I don 't think the laminating experts at Lakeshore Learning would be able to cope with that idea without a neurologist 's express written consent . And possibly some Valium . I sat down at my computer the other day and noticed that my husband had dropped a stack of cardboard codes on my desk - all torn out from boxes of Coke products . He knows how much I enjoy a good rewards program and I only recently came to terms with no longer being a Pampers ' Gifts to Grow member . I should have known that potty training Joey could only bite me in the ass one day . Joe is currently the firehouse " treasurer " ( translation : guy who fills the vending machines ) . Don 't repeat that , please . He feels he 's finally putting that EIU finance degree to good use . Regardless , the position has its perks . Every time Joe fills the pop machines , he tears out the codes for his crazy code - collecting wife . I 'm Chicago 's version of John Nash in A Beautiful Mind . If there 's a code which can lead to a free t - shirt or monogrammed towel , by God . . . I 'll find it . I started rifling around my desk to see if he had left any more and noticed a stack of unchecked Little Lotto tickets . I love Little Lotto . My husband prefers the big games - PowerBall , MegaMillions , etc . He has dreams of paying off all his friends ' mortgages , retiring , and moving all his buddies somewhere warm . I don 't like those big games . I know that statistically , Little Lotto has better odds , but that 's not why I play . I have seen one too many of those curse - of - the - lottery television shows . The winners all end up sick , miserable , and broke . I like Little Lotto because the money wouldn 't change our lives that dramatically . Things are pretty okay the way they are . A Little Lotto win would only mean that Joe wouldn 't have to work every day of the week . Perhaps we 'd get HBO . I 'd add cello to the boys ' musical rotation . We 'd have a fund for their future therapists . Nothing too crazy . I suppose at the heart of my not wanting to win millions is the joy that would be stripped from my existence . It wouldn 't feel the same getting a free oven mitt with my Coke points if I had $ 300 million in the bank . People would laugh at me for wasting my time . I currently have $ 5 waiting to be spent at Kmart with my rewards card there , and I am giddy . Every time I get a CVS $ 10 ExtraBucks reward , I buy Tide because it makes doing laundry , I don 't know , happier . The people I know with a lot of money all seem to be good , decent folks . Yet there is always a sense that their right to complain has long - since been revoked . I mean what do you think the reaction is to a multi - millionaire moaning about the line at the DMV ? I for one like to complain and wouldn 't give it up for all the money in the world . My husband would second that if he hadn 't already gone to bed lamenting his having to fill up the vending machines this week . And I 'm just that much closer to Season 1 of Glee . In the midst of the Civil War , Abraham Lincoln is quoted as saying , " With the fearful strain that is on me night and day , if I did not laugh I should die . " Most mothers live in the midst of their own civil wars . The impetus can vary : clothes , choice of television viewing , friend selection , homework , piano practice and even menu options . Children will continue to rise up and wage battle with their moms over the ridiculous as long as we continue to try to set the parameters . As a mother , I can wholly appreciate Lincoln 's need for the occasional chuckle . Although I have never thought of Honest Abe as being a particularly blithe fellow , you must figure with that countenance and characteristic ten gallon top hat , he most certainly valued the absurd . You got to hand it to a guy with a sense of humor . This quality is perhaps made even more noble when it is built on the alter of self - sacrifice and true to the philosophy of anything for a laugh . Joe 's in - law Steve is just that sort of rare breed . Several years ago , he asked a dear friend what he wanted for his 40th birthday . The friend had one request : a picture of Steve in a Mt . Carmel high school wrestling unitard ( or rather " singlet " as Steve gently corrected me ) . Steve carefully set up a lovely backdrop for his " gift " and went all - out in delivering on his promise to a friend : If I was Steve 's mom , this would have been my Christmas card . I applaud our unitard singlet - wearing Steve . Too many people are quite incapable of laughing at themselves out of fear the world will not respect or admire them . Yet the people whom I respect and admire most in my life have all found their inner funny . Steve shows us that sometimes , the best laugh out there is right in the mirror . Or perhaps posing seductively across the fireplace next to a Beethoven bust . Either way , Abe Lincoln would be proud . I of course found it hilarious . Until I shut down the computer and Joey became hysterical , convinced his mother had forever banished his big brother to the Dell monitor . He was edgy for hours and was only soothed when we picked up Jack from camp . I don 't know who he thinks I am . Casey Anthony ? I won 't lie to you , loyal reader . It 's been a long week . So in the midst of it all , I omitted a few noteworthy items : Item # 1 : I did not win the Porn basket at the Christmas without Cancer fundraiser . I told my sister - in - law to put $ 50 in raffle tickets towards various gift baskets . Originally , I swore I 'd kill her if she put them all in the Porn basket ( " Marianne . . . you are the winner of the PORN BASKET . . . . come collect your PORN BASKET , Marianne " ) . Then I started to appreciate the humor in winning such a prize . Alas , they did not call my name . But I did win another basket . Wouldn 't you know ? After all my blogging about the ridiculous cost of a visit to the Shedd Aquarium , I won admission for 4 . Oh and Mary - I finally got around to dropping that check in the mail . Actually , Joey dropped it in the mail . Or maybe in the sewer . Let me know if it doesn 't arrive in the standard Chicago delivery time of 4 - 6 weeks . You are over a mile away after all . Item # 2 : Daniel and I went 10 rounds over bedtime . He kept insisting he wasn 't tired and I kept insisting he was . At 9 : 30 pm , I threatened that if he came downstairs just one more time and said even one more word about not being able to sleep , I was going to call his father . When I went upstairs several hours later , I discovered my son made absolutely certain he got the the last word on the matter : Item # 3 : And what 's a Friday night without the emergency visit to Prompt Care ? Of course it was already 6 pm when I realized Jack was sporting a goose egg . I assumed he hurt himself at camp , but upon further inspection , I realized it was a mosquito bite . With a history of cellulitis courtesy of such bites , I scoured the internet to find an open Prompt Care before infection damaged my baby 's brain . Thank you , Orland Park for offering the only location that stays open until 8 pm on a Friday . It is official : I am no longer a morning person . Somewhere between midnight feedings and crack o ' dawn carpools , I lost my affinity for the A . M . This was not always the case . Before kids , I cherished mornings . I would bounce out of bed , shun coffee , and start my day excited about the world of opportunity that lie ahead . If only I knew then what I know now . The boys have systematically eliminated the slow dawning of consciousness . Before I even open my eyes each morning , I know there is a 3 - year old perched on my head . Yes . My head . " Are you awake now , Mommy ? It 's good morning time ! Good morning , Mommy ! It 's me . . . JOEY " ( said as he attempts to pry my eyelids open with his sticky fingers which just leaves me to wonder . . . why are his fingers so sticky ? ) . I was unable to video Dan 's session because when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force , the results are not fit for video . Daniel will play the piano until he 's 18 . Or I will die trying . After lessons , I dig around for some allergy medication . The evening before included the dreaded soccer league that has been my albatross this summer . Wednesday night , I was in charge of putting together the net . My husband had assured me this would be easy . I rammed together giant rods with little comprehension of how a soccer net is actually supposed to look . To help matters , I arrived there extra early to allot myself time to figure it all out . This plan backfired as there were no examples of an actual assembled net with which to compare . Finally , I managed to put it together with a special caveat to our team to not actually touch the net , or even try to score for that matter . Seriously , kids . . . don 't even breathe on it . So back to yesterday morning . After a stressful two hour practice session , we initiated bath and shower protocol . Sometime during the 4 minutes it took me to run downstairs and perform a laundry transfer , the boys managed to completely flood the bathroom and discharge the entire contents of a brand new tube of Crest into the sink . Short on time , I slapped together some PB & J , packed camp bags and drove my lot to Kennedy Park . After depositing the older boys , Joey insisted on going to the playground . He immediately soaked himself in the park sprinkler and ran around laughing and giggling at the good time he had found . As much as I wanted to share in this moment , I had only one thought . . . more wash . We headed home and continued our laundry and housekeeping . A repair quote came in one and a half times higher than expected . CPS ( Chicago Public Schools ) still hadn 't contacted me about Joey 's placement , so I put in a call there . I realized I forgot to pay a credit card bill . I had Joey run it to the mailbox on the corner , but he quickly became distracted and decided instead to try to shove the bill down the sewer . Before I could even think about sitting down , it was time to pick the kids up at camp and run them to violin . During my hour " break " while the boys learned a new string , I pumped gas , bought GoodNights , finally grabbed a coffee , and called my husband . I told him there was a Chicago Park District outdoor movie that night . After going the rounds with Daniel over his music and battling Joey over his refusal to nap , I figured nobody had " earned " the right to this treat . Joe disagreed . He decided that between his after - work volleyball game and his buddy 's 40th birthday party , he could most certainly take the kids to the movies . He asked if I had gotten a sitter so I could accompany him . I told him I was spent . There was a long pause on the end of the line . He seemed to think I was secretly avoiding him . After a few moments of uncomfortable silence followed by his reminder that he , too , had worked all day , my volleyball - playing birthday reveler shared his final thoughts on the matter : As has been established , the boys were mesmerized by the entire installation process . So much in fact , that they really took to heart the installer 's instructions to " water " the driveway as often as possible . We are now more than a week out from pouring concrete , and my trio of free laborers has diligently followed these directives to the letter : Part 15 of " My New Driveway : A Love Story " coming soon to a blog near you . Do you suppose this is where " We Band of Mothers " jumps the shark ? I can hear the critics now : It was like . . . . could she just stop with the driveway already ? I got so sick and tired of hearing about this flippin ' driveway . Who cares about an ugly old driveway anyway ? Couldn 't she just give it up ? Things are not going well . My husband refused to believe me when I tried to convince him I was actually ill . He walked around muttering " self - induced " and " alcohol - related " as the likely causes . Being a paramedic , he felt confident in his medical assessments . Being a wife , I went to Prompt Care . Fairly certain I was on my ninth case of strep ( t ) for the year , I opened wide and waited for the big giant gag - inciting Q - Tip to find its way into my mouth . For once , it came back negative . I was still given a prescription for a sinus infection and upper respiratory something or another . I spent much of the day yelling at the children to be quiet . Jack actually got reprimanded for sighing too loudly . Danny got a time - out for throwing himself down after 3 hours of swimming and playing at camp to announce that his parents never let him have any fun . Joey whined and whined and whined until I tossed him down for a nap with the ominous threat of , " take one step out of that bed , and I will give all your toys to poor kids . " Joey , being Joey , appeared to have fallen asleep thumbing his nose at his mother with two steps on the ground and his beloved army of vintage Little People at his side . Only children are capable of sleeping like this : So I had a good laugh and spent the rest of the day resisting the urge to abandon the children at a Chicago Safe Harbour location . . . namely their father 's fire station . Plastered by Having once possessed an actual paying job , I must say : I miss capitalism . I know it 's not a popular notion right now , but it 's true . Sitting within a stone 's throw of the head corporate honchos , I often had a unique sideline view of year - end earnings , meetings with rating agencies , and the whispered hints of pending mergers and acquisitions . Of course at the time , I was bored senseless . Don 't get me wrong , I loved my actual job . But I worked in insurance . Insurance . No little girl goes to bed at night secretly hoping to land that big job at AIG . I would ask all potential English majors to heed my warning : English is not a practical major . Minor ? Yes . You 'll be able to jot off a stellar memo . But as a major ? You 'll be the red - headed stepchild in any field outside of academia . Just saying . It took the monotony of 3 kids in 3 years to help me appreciate the excitement of American capitalism . Sure , a lot of Fortune 500 companies botched it over the last 5 years , but insurance companies have pretty much held their own . I 'm sure having an army of actuaries drawing up models and financial forecasts didn 't hurt . The pinnacle of my career came when one of the companies I worked for went public on the New York Stock Exchange . I got to witness first hand the opening bell at the epicenter of global capitalism . Prior to that day , I hadn 't been that enthralled with business as a whole . I secretly planned to go back for my PhD in something rewarding . . . like 18th Century English Romanticism . Yet that day . That day . I got goosebumps watching Wall Street in action . Tiny little Maria Baritromo stomped across the trading floor scaring the dickens out of anyone who crossed her path . Traders frantically signaled to each other about what , I still don 't know . The energy was palpable . It was incredible . At the end of it all , representatives from my company all received an NYSE medal . My kids recently found it in a box and were very intrigued . They wanted to know what NYSE stood for and if they could use " the coin " to buy some gum . I told them it was a very special medal that I got all the way in New York from a short , bald man named Dick Grasso . " You only made one quarter , mommy ? You should have gotten a different job . Maybe then we 'd at least have a Wii . " It is with this same entrepreneurial spirit I will begin plotting my return to capitalism . I have been carefully biding my time and waiting for just the right moment . That time is now . It has been 4 long years since I 've conducted a garage sale . I was stymied by the obvious liability issues associated with my cracked - up driveway . With new concrete and a smooth exterior , there is nothing to stop me . Except a Chicago garage sale permit and perfunctory ads in The Beverly Review . Thank you America for affording me this opportunity to hock old baby bouncers and outgrown toys . Thank you for giving me a chance to rise through the ranks and earn a little extra for all these piano and violin lessons . God bless you America for being that last great hope , that beacon in the sky . At long last I will again experience the smell of commerce in the morning . It may not be the New York Stock Exchange , but it 's all I got . After a fantastic weekend wedding and through the haze of recovery , I have come up with a few foggy truths about life . Follow along . I 'll type slowly as my brain is still not 100 % 7 . It 's never a good idea to put the " Cubs " number card at the table where my husband the Sox fan is sitting . I believe this was face - down for most of the reception with the exception of when I took the picture . I got the scare of my life the other day . Going on my usual 4 hours of sleep a night , I stumbled downstairs to perform the perfunctory headcount of my children . Figuring they would all be glued to Phineas and Ferb , I was surprised when I reached the bottom of the steps only to find a tidy family room . Could they all possibly still be sleeping ? My little roosters were usually up at 6 : 30 am . I cracked my knees and headed back upstairs to do a " visual . " I began to panic when I found their beds to be empty . Then I remembered that Joe was off that morning . Could he have taken them to breakfast at one of his Diners , Drive - Ins , and Dives locales ? I looked out our front window and saw both cars parked and the construction crew working diligently on our driveway . With my pulse racing , I checked the backyard and saw Joe calmly talking to the head of the crew with absolutely no kids anywhere in sight . Were they already run over by that big roller thing and soon to be forever blazoned in my driveway ? My stomach turned . I was now on the warpath as I opened the back door and blasted over all the noise : My husband yelled something back , but I couldn 't hear him . Thankfully , Joe is a gesturer , so I took notice of him pointing west . I ran back to the front door and swung it open to find : When I asked who told them they could go outside , I got the stock response of " Daddy knows we 're here . " This meant they performed the action first , received no reprimand from Joe , and now felt completely vindicated . I threatened them all within an inch of their lives if they moved even one single step down and went back inside to make myself a pot of coffee . A few minutes later , one of the construction guys came over and jokingly asked Joey if he could finish up the work for the crew . We always call Joey " Captain Literal , " as he hasn 't quite mastered the art of repartee . I would have assumed that Joey instantly agreed and marched towards the driveway to get his hands on all the equipment he 'd been coveting for days . Instead , his response ? " I 'm telling my mommy on you . She said ' WAIT HERE . ' You in twuble now . " By the way , I have got to stop talking when I film home videos . I am so much more annoying and nasal - sounding on video than I am in my head . Any good speech therapists out there ? May your weekend be filled with a few surprises of your own ! I am loathe to do this , but I fear it is my responsibility to finally advise one of my best friends that people are starting to not like her . It 's all the talk at the water coolers lately . Nary a kind word has been said about her in ages . Most of it is in fact her own doing . She 's a high - maintenance diva who costs everyone around her a mad fortune . She neither nurtures or protects her children and mocks her allies ' trusting nature . Say you 're a man returning home from a long 24 hour shift at the firehouse and in need of a little family time . You suggest an outing to visit your friend " Downtown Chicago " via the Shedd Aquarium . But first you got to pay $ 19 to park ( cash only ) . Chicago and her cohorts chuckle when you try to put away your wallet . You might want to keep that handy . You head over to the stairs to purchase admission tickets . If you want to see anything beyond goldfish at the aquarium , it 's going to cost you . The " Total Experience Pass ? " Why that 's $ 34 . 95 per adult and $ 25 . 95 per child aged 3 and older . Chicago laughs at you again when you try to pass off all your kids as " under 3 . " Daniel is taller than the attendant and the guy isn 't buying it . Better luck next time , sucker . But perhaps you 're not that concerned about the expenditures . After all , this is Chicago . You 're close . You practically grew up together . A day out with your family in her beautiful downtown area is worth every hard - earned penny . After a fishy few hours at the Shedd , you head over to your favorite pizza joint , Pizano 's . The pizzas are pretty reasonable ( $ 20 ) . If Chicago does anything right , it 's her pizza . You remember why you 're friends with this city again . None of your other friends are capable of such culinary splendor . So you order an additional pizza to bring home because it 's just that good . You lean forward to whisper something to your waiter . All the old - school Chicago waitresses knew how to accommodate those special requests of regular patrons . For instance , Pizano 's pizza dries out something fierce in the fridge and a little extra sauce sent home in a Styrofoam container does just the trick . Back in the day , Gertrude - the - waitress would take care of you : Oh sweetheart , it 's on the house . Gratis . Thank you for coming and God bless those beautiful children of yours . Not today . In an age of city surcharges and extra restaurant taxes , " executive management " now mandates a pretty substantial fee for a little extra sauce . You have some strong opinions on this new policy and express them rather colorfully to your young hipster waiter who basically tells you to lump it . He storms off in a huff and sends someone else over with your bill . Where is Gertrude when you need her ? Oh . She moved to Alaska 5 years ago ? No state income tax you say ? No state sales tax , either ? Gertrude liked the Iditarod ? Who knew . So you stomp out of Pizano 's even lighter in the wallet because you forgot that they do not accept Discover card . You 've only got $ 5 left due to the cash - only Shedd parking lot and the Discover - shunning Pizano 's . No worries . Look at that skyline . Look at that lakefront . Your friend is just as breathtaking as always . You sally forth to your next stop : Michigan Avenue . The wife wants to look at shoes . Again . In a period where families are struggling financially and personal safety is a legitimate concern , the lure of downtown is diminishing ( Daley 's flower pots notwithstanding ) . Even the city 's premier food festival , The Taste of Chicago , drew fewer crowds and faced a significant downturn in business ( see SunTimes article ) . A recent mob attack in Boy 's Town ( see Trib article ) has led to a community meeting to address the issue as well as a Facebook group called , " Take Back Boystown . " As I am a big fan of the neighborhood from my years spent living near there ( safest place in the world for a single 20 - some girl to walk home alone at night ) , I was sad for the plight of this tight - knit community . I checked out the Facebook group to see what the residents were suggesting . I got to tell you , there were pages and pages of thoughts on the matter . Everything from re - forming The Pink Panthers ' Patrol to demanding an upsurge in police presence were batted around . Some people were angry , some people were hopeful , and some people were just trolling for a fight . The divergence in opinions was obvious . One perhaps slightly naive poster felt that the thugs were basically bored kids angry about not being admitted into area bars because they were underage . Her solution : juice bars . Because behind every felonious , knife - wielding teen is a kid who just wants to hang out and drink apple ciders . Perhaps low blood sugar is the true dark catalyst behind all of this recent madness . Juice bars . Of course . My boys have been dying to take a ride on " The El " this summer like they have every year since they were born . Heck , I used to ride the Red Line every day with Daniel clutching my hand and Jack bopping around in my stomach . I 'm just not as comfortable as I used to be with that idea . Some will say that I am perpetuating a myth of urban violence that is being exaggerated by the press and those easily agitated . My recent car ride through several neighborhoods on the northwest side suggests otherwise . Good people are waking up every day on blocks were there is no order or likely assurances that daylight will shine on them or their families again . Once upon a time , I was a single gal , living in Lincoln Park , and judging all the women pushing around double strollers with Cheerios in their hair . I now have 3 sons , no paying job , and boogars wiped on every article of clothing I own . Help me . Or email me at mostlymarianne @ gmail . com .
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" How can I be more like the woman in Proverbs 31 ? " She is a hard worker , wise , strong , dignified , resourceful , loving & confident . Most importantly , she loves the Lord . I am a far cry from that woman , but I 'm working towards it . I am inspired by women like my mom and my friend Laurel , who hardly bat an eye at the idea of serving another person , whether it 's offering to clean their bathrooms or stain their porch . I am a wife to a wonderful stud named Eric and a mother to a cute little boy named Micah . He is so funny ! I hope you enjoy my blog ! ~ Kim While my roast beef , Swiss and horsey sauce sandwich browns in the toaster oven , the timer 's steady ticking provides the background music to my somber thoughts . ( I fully intended that to be over - dramatic . ) I realized today that my parents probably didn 't enjoy disappointing me . They really did have my best interests at heart when they said no . They did not enjoy seeing me cry about it . No , this is not the first time I have realized this fact , but it is the first time I have really understood it from their end . My son is evolving before my eyes and I have noticed a subtle shift in his behavior . No longer just an infant , he 's displaying wants as well as needs . For example , he was eating my mother - in - law 's hair the other day . . . had a huge clump of it in his mouth . When we took it out of his mouth he tried to grab it again . When she pulled her hair back where he couldn 't reach it , he screamed in protest . He threw a fit because we wouldn 't let him chew on grandma 's hair . Babies need to eat . Babies need to sleep . Babies need their diapers changed . I 'm sorry , but babies do not need to suck on hair as opposed to their pacifiers , which clipped on their shirts , are more than available for all their sucking and chewing needs . This was the context in which I decided it was time to begin sleep training my son . ( Oh my gosh , this horsey sauce is burning a hole through my nose and opening up the floodgates behind my tear ducts ! ) The same changes in his little brain that allow him to prefer hair to a pacifier and pitch a fit about it , also allow him to choose to stay awake when he needs to sleep . Over the past few weeks , he has repeatedly made this choice , and he has gotten more and more tired to the point of screaming for no reason . It has become a battle of wills . Parents versus Baby . Play versus Sleep . Last night I finally gave in to the nagging voice that kept tell me to " be the parent and make him go to bed when he needs to , not when he wants to . " I was fully prepared to hear his cries for hours . Except . . . he only cried for 15 minuFiled under In my family , we refer to Barry White as the " baby whisperer . " It started in the car on the way to a friend 's house . My baby was really tired , but was too fussy to fall asleep . The radio was all commercials and silence was unbearable with a screaming baby in the backseat . Shuffling through the glove compartment , I came across a CD I had completely forgotten about . Barry White 's Greatest Hits . No sooner did the word " baby " slip out of the car 's speakers in Barry 's signature velvety deep voice , when my pumpkin promptly fell asleep without an ounce of protest . Don 't ask me why I had Barry White sitting in my glove compartment ; I 'll never tell . And don 't ask me why Barry White is so good at putting babies to sleep ; I 'll never understand it myself . Ever since that day , Barry White has been our go - to - guy when our little man is fussy . Barry never fails us . His CD is always packed when we 're planning a long car trip . In a pinch , we 'll create a " Barry White " station on Pandora . Our favorite lyric repeats something we find ourselves saying all the time as new parents : " Baby , sweet baby . . . what am I going to do with you ? " The only problem we have with Barry White is the nature of his music . Barry White is great for babies . I believe there are a lot of babies out there who wouldn 't be here today if it weren 't for Barry White . I 'm just not sure I want my little boy singing about how those babies got here , if you catch my drift . I wish he sang about horses , angels , lambs and twinkling stars . If he had put out a lullaby album during his lifetime , I bet it would have made it onto every pregnant woman 's registry . I 'll keep turning to Barry when my baby 's got the blues , but in the meantime I 'll be looking for a replacement . Any suggestions ? Everyone knows that when a baby falls asleep , you should put him in his crib and either take a nap yourself or do one of the other million things on your list . . . but I often don 't . I don 't know how many more chances I will have to look down and gaze at this tiny face in my arms . I might blink and realize he is fifteen and too big or too cool to fall asleep in my lap . If I don 't listen , I might forget what it sounds like to hear these tiny puffs of breath , breath that smells something like sugar or hazelnut . It 's no wonder they 've named a flower after it . How is it that babies smell so good ? If I lay him in his crib , I would miss the occasional happy sigh , the sleepy smile that flickers across his peaceful face as he dreams ( of what , I wonder ? ) . I wouldn 't feel his tiny fingers search for a fold of my shirt or my thumb to grasp . I might not catch that first waking glimpse or the grin that follows when he realizes I 'm still there . So even though there are dishes to wash and laundry to fold , I hold my child instead , watching him sleep , whispering a prayer of gratitude . Thank you , Lord , for this child , this blessing . Keep him safe and show me how to raise him . Let him always know how much he is loved . Last summer I took up cake decorating as a new hobby when I offered to make a wedding cake for a friend . The wedding cake turned out wonderful and I decided I would like to make more cakes . Since then I 've made a few birthday cakes and a few just for fun . I 'd like to think I 'm getting better at it . I would love to take a cake decorating class and learn how to make those gorgeous flowers out of frosting . One thing I do not want to learn is how to work with fondant . I know it is all the rage right now , but I hate the taste , so I 'd rather not go there . I don 't want to spend hours working on a cake that I won 't enjoy eating afterward . This is the cake I made for my mom 's birthday this weekend . It 's so colorful - an experiment with food coloring . I baked two 9 " rounds and cut them with a big heart mold that is supposed to go with my cheesecake pan . I used a Duncan Hines mix ( coconut ) and made my own frosting ( buttercream ) . It was really tasty - I had two pieces ! I think coconut cake is my new favorite ! ! A . K . A " Adventures in Food Coloring " Bought a few boxes of food coloring last week for the birthday cake I made for my mom 's birthday ( which is on Sunday ) . We love to make homemade pizza , and when I was making the dough the other night , I had the urge to squirt purple into the bread machine at the last moment . It made for one really weird looking pizza . I decided I must do this again when Micah is old enough to appreciate it . I 'll post pictures of the cake after my mom sees it first . It turned out really cute ! This week I blogged about the importance of " Daddy Time " on the Families Baby blog . My inspiration came from my husband and my son playing in the next room . . . My husband will be the first to tell you that playing with his little man is no small task . Thinking of silly ways to entertain our four - month - old comes much easier to me . I can move quickly from one trick to the next , while my husband struggles to keep up with Micah 's 5 minute attention span . " I can 't wait for him to get older " is his mantra . He wants him to be able to say what he wants instead of cry . He also wants him to be able to move around on his own . Women cringe at this sentiment , knowing how quickly babies grow into the next stage , which has its own difficulties , but I understand his frustration . I felt the same way when we were dating . ( I can 't wait to get married - I 'm tired of driving home every night ! ! ) There are just certain stages in life that we can 't wait to finish - college , looking for a spouse , planning a wedding - and it 's hard to enjoy them , even if there are plenty of things to appreciate about each stage . We begin to focus on certain goals so much that we start to resent the journey . Before we know it , our goal is achieved and a fragment of history , and what is left ? Did we waste all that time waiting for the next big thing and miss out on all the fun in between ? God enjoys the journey . You can tell just by looking around at creation . He could have populated the earth with a bunch of full grown adults , but instead he created pregnancy , babies , children , and childhood . In fact nearly everything in creation starts out small and grows . There is a reason trees take decades to reach their full height . There is a reason he doesn 't wave a magic wand when we begin a relationship with him and turn us into the perfect Christian . We reach full maturity in Christ when we enter the gates of heaven ; until then we embark on a spiritual journey of epic proportions . He slowly molds us through life 's experiences , His perfect wisdom ( the Word ) and the pFiled under While perusing blogs tonight , I found something that really struck a chord . The Barefoot Mama : " It 's important to identify what impedes you as a mom and then prayerfully and purposefully design ways to fulfill those needs and structure your time in the home in order to attain a balance for yourself " I 've just discovered Kelly 's blog through comments and I must pause and say , " Lord , you really know how to introduce me to the right people at the right time . " For me , " those needs " are primarily spiritual - specifically time spent in prayer and studying God 's word . I 'm a much better mama when I 'm a better daughter . Spending time with my heavenly father each morning sets the tone for the entire day . It determines whether I stick to my priorities , the measure of patience I have for life 's everyday hangups , the peace in my heart , and the smile on my face . I don 't want Micah to know a mommy who doesn 't intimately know her Savior . I desperately want him to know a mommy who will teach him , through example , what it means to love and serve the Lord with all his heart and soul . . . to find strength in God alone . Reading Kelly 's blog cemented a decision I made yesterday to sacrifice that last hour of sleep in the morning . Micah 's naps were becoming too unpredictable to count on them for quiet time . Quiet times fell by the wayside for a while because of this , and my heart suffered greatly . You can only go so long on your own strength before life 's stresses begin to eat away at your peace and joy . Who on earth lives a life without some type of stress or ongoing problem ? In a sin - plagued world : no one . We were never meant to live a solitary life - we were created to live in relationship to our creator . You can only talk on your cell for so long before you need to plug it in - and spiritually , we are all living on a very short battery life . Jesus said " I am the vine ; you are the branches . Whoever abides in me and I in him , he it is that bears much fruit , for apart from me you can do nothing . " Apart from Jesus , YOU CAN DO NOTHING . You maFiled under This recipe is part of Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays , hosted by Blessed With Grace . I found this banana bread recipe on Taste of Home 's website , but it originally called for walnuts . I substituted 2 ounces of chopped pecans . It turned out amazing ! I made it just the other day and it 's almost gone already . Best Ever Banana BreadINGREDIENTS * 1 - 3 / 4 cups all - purpose flour * 1 - 1 / 2 cups sugar * 1 teaspoon baking soda * 1 / 2 teaspoon salt * 2 eggs * 2 medium ripe bananas , mashed ( 1 cup ) * 1 / 2 cup vegetable oil * 1 / 4 cup plus 1 tablespoon buttermilk * * * 1 teaspoon vanilla extract * 1 2 - ounce package of chopped pecansDIRECTIONSIn a large bowl , stir together flour , sugar , baking soda and salt . In another bowl , combine the eggs , bananas , oil , buttermilk and vanilla ; add to flour mixture , stirring just until combined . Fold in nuts . Pour into a greased 9 - in . x 5 - in . loaf pan . Bake at 325 ° for 1 hour 20 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean . Cool on wire rack . Yield : 1 loaf . * * Don 't have buttermilk ? Add 1 tablespoon of lemon juice to a liquid measuring cup , then add enough milk to make 1 cup . Let it sit for five minutes and then use however much the recipe calls for . Eric and I were discussing ways we could spend more quality time together . Our problem , like many other married couples I 'm sure , is that our hobbies are . . . different . You will never catch me on a computer playing Counterstrike . You will never see Eric with a ball of yarn and a hook in his hands unless you travel back in time to his childhood when his grandmother taught him how to crochet . We can 't figure out what brought us together except for the fact that we think the same jokes are funny and the same goals in life are worth pursuing . We are also incredibly attracted to each other , physically , but that is not something I want to publish on the internet for my son and his friends to read in fifteen years and become horribly embarrassed about . Or maybe I do . Micah , your father and I are extremely attracted to each other in the physical sense . As far as hobbies are concerned , we have found common ground on the following territories : 1 . Cribbage2 . Ping Pong3 . Movies4 . Scrabble5 . Yahoo EuchreOften our conversations go something like this : Me : " Do you want to do something ? " Eric : ( Picturing the scrabble board or some other activity I 'm likely to suggest ) " No , that 's okay , babe . " Isn 't that horribly sad and pathetic ? ! So . Quality Time . . . we decided to see if we could use his parents ' old PlayStation since his sister , who still lives at home , really wants a new system . I think she wants an X Box . I think Eric will compromise his Gamers ' Integrity by playing a little Wheel of Fortune , Packman , and Bejeweled with me . What kinds of hobbies do you share with your spouse ? Filed under My favorite part of the day involves finding new ways to make Micah laugh . His giggles are often muffled by his fists , which he stuffs in his mouth constantly . Lean in too close , and he 'll grab your mouth or nose with his dripping hands , smearing spit all over your face . Does that stop me from planting five hundred kisses on those chubby cheeks of his ? Not in a million years ! Yesterday he turned four months old . I can 't believe how fast time is flying by . Everyone told me this would happen , but I never understood just how right there were until now . He is so active , so playful , and oh so opinionated ! I feel like it was only yesterday that he fit right between my crossed arms . Today his long legs sprawl over my lap and onto the couch . He 's wearing 9mo / 12mo sleepers . Where he got his height , I have no idea ! He looks so much like my husband , it 's scary . This week my dad 's parents drove across the Midwest to visit and meet Micah for the first time . I have to admit I was a little worried in the weeks leading up to their visit . You see , up until about a week ago , Micah was pitching a fit whenever anyone would try to hold him . . . except for me . He would be fine for a few minutes , then suddenly his eyes would widen and his bottom lip would curl . Tears would brim and in seconds he would go from cooing to screaming at a volume that would likely burst your eardrum if you stood too close . Then one day , Micah woke up and decided he was no longer a one woman man . Now he is a little charmer , talking and smiling at whoever carries him around . . . as long as they hold him the way he likes . I mentioned yesterday that it 's " his way or the highway , " well this especially applies to how he wants to be held . He used to enjoy snuggling with his head tucked into your neck or looking over your shoulder . Now he strongly prefers to be carried facing out with his legs dangling so he can see everything in front of him and wiggle at will . He can still burst your eardrum if you happen to be nearby when he gets a wet diaper . If he is playing and happy , and then all of a sudden he starts screaming like someone pinched him , chances are he has just wet himself . It is during these moments of near hearing loss that I close my eyes and envision a potty seat sitting upon a golden throne with angels singing hallelujah in the background . I look forward to ditching the diapers for smiley stickers and m & ms and ninja turtle underwear . ( Do they still make ninja turtle underwear ? ) Anyway , back to the visit from the Great Grandparents . . . it was a joy to see my granny hold my son , play with him , and rock him to sleep . I am so blessed . Micah has gotten to meet all four of his Great Grandmothers and two of his Great Grandpas . I don 't think I ever got to meet any of my great grandparents , even as an infant . Four generations gathered around the patio table to enjoy my dad 's amazing beef tenderloin , seven layer salad , Filed under Micah is developing an interest in his surroundings . No longer content to lay back and nap during car rides ( unless he is tired , of course ) , he leans forward to look out the window or around the vehicle . His reclining infant carrier is not condusive to sitting up , however , so sometimes it takes a small circus to keep him entertained when he is not able to sit up the way he would like to . It 's interesting to see such a strong personality at just four months old . " It 's his way or the high way . " I can already tell we 're going to have our hands full as we train him up to be a well behaved and Godly young man . He is stubborn and spirited . Fortunately , these qualities have the potential to make him a great leader if kept in check and given a proper outlet . He is also very sweet and when he 's happy , you can 't wipe the smile off his face . Every day I find new ways to get him to laugh . He already loves to roughhouse ; he is definitely a boy . Today I put together his new stroller and we took it for a spin around the neighborhood . What a difference sitting upright makes ! He actually enjoyed cruising around for once . Before we used a stroller frame that his infant carrier clicked into - but he would always cry unless he was asleep . I was convinced that it was because it forced him to lay back and I was right ! Our neighborhood is still largely undeveloped , so there are plenty of paved roads without traffic - perfect for walks . Built on the side of a hill , this neighborhood really gives your calves a workout ! His eyes were wide with curiosity as we walked up and down the hill on the empty road . I pointed out grass , rocks and wildflowers . We spent about 15 minutes outside until he got a little too tired and started whimpering . I 'm going to start taking him out every day unless the weather is bad . He really enjoys being outside ! What little kid doesn 't ? I am on a quest to find all the best online devotions - - specifically for moms . Do you have a favorite online devotion that is geared towards moms ? E - mail me the link and I will add it to this list ! Manna for MomsMegan Breedlove writes devotionals for moms based on timeless stories of motherhood and her experiences with her own children . Megan is a mother to four children and has a master 's degree in marriage and family counseling and a master 's in religious education . Proverbs 31 Ministries : Daily DevotionsProverbs 31 Ministries is committed to bringing clear Biblical teaching to women in every walk of life through our conferences , retreats and church events . Their daily devotions offer today 's busy women encouragement as they seek to draw closer to the heart of God . Written by a terrific team of women willing to be real with their struggles and their faith , you 'll find their words relevant and refreshing . ( Description taken from Proverbs31 . org ) Universal Man Law : Men bond on the couch . Micah has discovered that the world is much more interesting when you 're sitting up , and therefore throws a fit if you lay him on his back on the floor . He 's fine in his Bumbo , fine if you put him on his tummy , but on his back ? Oh no - no - no . He has been staring at the ceiling fan for four months now , you know , and he 's had enough of that . The easy solution , of course , has been to prop him up on the couch . He loves this view since he can watch all the action . Give him a few toys ( or a blanket ) to chew on and he 's a happy camper . Big daddy Eric is happy , too , since he doesn 't have to tote the little guy around on one arm all night . Look at Eric , doesn 't he look great ? He 's lost over fifteen pounds in the past month . Ladies , doesn 't it frustrate you how quickly men can shed the weight ? It 's as though they merely think about weight loss and it happens . Eric has worked really hard , though ; he has been eating a low carb diet and cutting out most of the junk food . He has been working out as well . He does this routine with a 45 - pound weight that I can 't even peel off the floor , and he tosses it around like a dinner plate . I 'll settle for being able to carry a 15 - pound baby for several hours .
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" How can I be more like the woman in Proverbs 31 ? " She is a hard worker , wise , strong , dignified , resourceful , loving & confident . Most importantly , she loves the Lord . I am a far cry from that woman , but I 'm working towards it . I am inspired by women like my mom and my friend Laurel , who hardly bat an eye at the idea of serving another person , whether it 's offering to clean their bathrooms or stain their porch . I am a wife to a wonderful stud named Eric and a mother to a cute little boy named Micah . He is so funny ! I hope you enjoy my blog ! ~ Kim While my roast beef , Swiss and horsey sauce sandwich browns in the toaster oven , the timer 's steady ticking provides the background music to my somber thoughts . ( I fully intended that to be over - dramatic . ) I realized today that my parents probably didn 't enjoy disappointing me . They really did have my best interests at heart when they said no . They did not enjoy seeing me cry about it . No , this is not the first time I have realized this fact , but it is the first time I have really understood it from their end . My son is evolving before my eyes and I have noticed a subtle shift in his behavior . No longer just an infant , he 's displaying wants as well as needs . For example , he was eating my mother - in - law 's hair the other day . . . had a huge clump of it in his mouth . When we took it out of his mouth he tried to grab it again . When she pulled her hair back where he couldn 't reach it , he screamed in protest . He threw a fit because we wouldn 't let him chew on grandma 's hair . Babies need to eat . Babies need to sleep . Babies need their diapers changed . I 'm sorry , but babies do not need to suck on hair as opposed to their pacifiers , which clipped on their shirts , are more than available for all their sucking and chewing needs . This was the context in which I decided it was time to begin sleep training my son . ( Oh my gosh , this horsey sauce is burning a hole through my nose and opening up the floodgates behind my tear ducts ! ) The same changes in his little brain that allow him to prefer hair to a pacifier and pitch a fit about it , also allow him to choose to stay awake when he needs to sleep . Over the past few weeks , he has repeatedly made this choice , and he has gotten more and more tired to the point of screaming for no reason . It has become a battle of wills . Parents versus Baby . Play versus Sleep . Last night I finally gave in to the nagging voice that kept tell me to " be the parent and make him go to bed when he needs to , not when he wants to . " I was fully prepared to hear his cries for hours . Except . . . he only cried for 15 minuFiled under In my family , we refer to Barry White as the " baby whisperer . " It started in the car on the way to a friend 's house . My baby was really tired , but was too fussy to fall asleep . The radio was all commercials and silence was unbearable with a screaming baby in the backseat . Shuffling through the glove compartment , I came across a CD I had completely forgotten about . Barry White 's Greatest Hits . No sooner did the word " baby " slip out of the car 's speakers in Barry 's signature velvety deep voice , when my pumpkin promptly fell asleep without an ounce of protest . Don 't ask me why I had Barry White sitting in my glove compartment ; I 'll never tell . And don 't ask me why Barry White is so good at putting babies to sleep ; I 'll never understand it myself . Ever since that day , Barry White has been our go - to - guy when our little man is fussy . Barry never fails us . His CD is always packed when we 're planning a long car trip . In a pinch , we 'll create a " Barry White " station on Pandora . Our favorite lyric repeats something we find ourselves saying all the time as new parents : " Baby , sweet baby . . . what am I going to do with you ? " The only problem we have with Barry White is the nature of his music . Barry White is great for babies . I believe there are a lot of babies out there who wouldn 't be here today if it weren 't for Barry White . I 'm just not sure I want my little boy singing about how those babies got here , if you catch my drift . I wish he sang about horses , angels , lambs and twinkling stars . If he had put out a lullaby album during his lifetime , I bet it would have made it onto every pregnant woman 's registry . I 'll keep turning to Barry when my baby 's got the blues , but in the meantime I 'll be looking for a replacement . Any suggestions ? Everyone knows that when a baby falls asleep , you should put him in his crib and either take a nap yourself or do one of the other million things on your list . . . but I often don 't . I don 't know how many more chances I will have to look down and gaze at this tiny face in my arms . I might blink and realize he is fifteen and too big or too cool to fall asleep in my lap . If I don 't listen , I might forget what it sounds like to hear these tiny puffs of breath , breath that smells something like sugar or hazelnut . It 's no wonder they 've named a flower after it . How is it that babies smell so good ? If I lay him in his crib , I would miss the occasional happy sigh , the sleepy smile that flickers across his peaceful face as he dreams ( of what , I wonder ? ) . I wouldn 't feel his tiny fingers search for a fold of my shirt or my thumb to grasp . I might not catch that first waking glimpse or the grin that follows when he realizes I 'm still there . So even though there are dishes to wash and laundry to fold , I hold my child instead , watching him sleep , whispering a prayer of gratitude . Thank you , Lord , for this child , this blessing . Keep him safe and show me how to raise him . Let him always know how much he is loved . Last summer I took up cake decorating as a new hobby when I offered to make a wedding cake for a friend . The wedding cake turned out wonderful and I decided I would like to make more cakes . Since then I 've made a few birthday cakes and a few just for fun . I 'd like to think I 'm getting better at it . I would love to take a cake decorating class and learn how to make those gorgeous flowers out of frosting . One thing I do not want to learn is how to work with fondant . I know it is all the rage right now , but I hate the taste , so I 'd rather not go there . I don 't want to spend hours working on a cake that I won 't enjoy eating afterward . This is the cake I made for my mom 's birthday this weekend . It 's so colorful - an experiment with food coloring . I baked two 9 " rounds and cut them with a big heart mold that is supposed to go with my cheesecake pan . I used a Duncan Hines mix ( coconut ) and made my own frosting ( buttercream ) . It was really tasty - I had two pieces ! I think coconut cake is my new favorite ! ! A . K . A " Adventures in Food Coloring " Bought a few boxes of food coloring last week for the birthday cake I made for my mom 's birthday ( which is on Sunday ) . We love to make homemade pizza , and when I was making the dough the other night , I had the urge to squirt purple into the bread machine at the last moment . It made for one really weird looking pizza . I decided I must do this again when Micah is old enough to appreciate it . I 'll post pictures of the cake after my mom sees it first . It turned out really cute ! This week I blogged about the importance of " Daddy Time " on the Families Baby blog . My inspiration came from my husband and my son playing in the next room . . . My husband will be the first to tell you that playing with his little man is no small task . Thinking of silly ways to entertain our four - month - old comes much easier to me . I can move quickly from one trick to the next , while my husband struggles to keep up with Micah 's 5 minute attention span . " I can 't wait for him to get older " is his mantra . He wants him to be able to say what he wants instead of cry . He also wants him to be able to move around on his own . Women cringe at this sentiment , knowing how quickly babies grow into the next stage , which has its own difficulties , but I understand his frustration . I felt the same way when we were dating . ( I can 't wait to get married - I 'm tired of driving home every night ! ! ) There are just certain stages in life that we can 't wait to finish - college , looking for a spouse , planning a wedding - and it 's hard to enjoy them , even if there are plenty of things to appreciate about each stage . We begin to focus on certain goals so much that we start to resent the journey . Before we know it , our goal is achieved and a fragment of history , and what is left ? Did we waste all that time waiting for the next big thing and miss out on all the fun in between ? God enjoys the journey . You can tell just by looking around at creation . He could have populated the earth with a bunch of full grown adults , but instead he created pregnancy , babies , children , and childhood . In fact nearly everything in creation starts out small and grows . There is a reason trees take decades to reach their full height . There is a reason he doesn 't wave a magic wand when we begin a relationship with him and turn us into the perfect Christian . We reach full maturity in Christ when we enter the gates of heaven ; until then we embark on a spiritual journey of epic proportions . He slowly molds us through life 's experiences , His perfect wisdom ( the Word ) and the pFiled under While perusing blogs tonight , I found something that really struck a chord . The Barefoot Mama : " It 's important to identify what impedes you as a mom and then prayerfully and purposefully design ways to fulfill those needs and structure your time in the home in order to attain a balance for yourself " I 've just discovered Kelly 's blog through comments and I must pause and say , " Lord , you really know how to introduce me to the right people at the right time . " For me , " those needs " are primarily spiritual - specifically time spent in prayer and studying God 's word . I 'm a much better mama when I 'm a better daughter . Spending time with my heavenly father each morning sets the tone for the entire day . It determines whether I stick to my priorities , the measure of patience I have for life 's everyday hangups , the peace in my heart , and the smile on my face . I don 't want Micah to know a mommy who doesn 't intimately know her Savior . I desperately want him to know a mommy who will teach him , through example , what it means to love and serve the Lord with all his heart and soul . . . to find strength in God alone . Reading Kelly 's blog cemented a decision I made yesterday to sacrifice that last hour of sleep in the morning . Micah 's naps were becoming too unpredictable to count on them for quiet time . Quiet times fell by the wayside for a while because of this , and my heart suffered greatly . You can only go so long on your own strength before life 's stresses begin to eat away at your peace and joy . Who on earth lives a life without some type of stress or ongoing problem ? In a sin - plagued world : no one . We were never meant to live a solitary life - we were created to live in relationship to our creator . You can only talk on your cell for so long before you need to plug it in - and spiritually , we are all living on a very short battery life . Jesus said " I am the vine ; you are the branches . Whoever abides in me and I in him , he it is that bears much fruit , for apart from me you can do nothing . " Apart from Jesus , YOU CAN DO NOTHING . You maFiled under This recipe is part of Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays , hosted by Blessed With Grace . I found this banana bread recipe on Taste of Home 's website , but it originally called for walnuts . I substituted 2 ounces of chopped pecans . It turned out amazing ! I made it just the other day and it 's almost gone already . Best Ever Banana BreadINGREDIENTS * 1 - 3 / 4 cups all - purpose flour * 1 - 1 / 2 cups sugar * 1 teaspoon baking soda * 1 / 2 teaspoon salt * 2 eggs * 2 medium ripe bananas , mashed ( 1 cup ) * 1 / 2 cup vegetable oil * 1 / 4 cup plus 1 tablespoon buttermilk * * * 1 teaspoon vanilla extract * 1 2 - ounce package of chopped pecansDIRECTIONSIn a large bowl , stir together flour , sugar , baking soda and salt . In another bowl , combine the eggs , bananas , oil , buttermilk and vanilla ; add to flour mixture , stirring just until combined . Fold in nuts . Pour into a greased 9 - in . x 5 - in . loaf pan . Bake at 325 ° for 1 hour 20 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean . Cool on wire rack . Yield : 1 loaf . * * Don 't have buttermilk ? Add 1 tablespoon of lemon juice to a liquid measuring cup , then add enough milk to make 1 cup . Let it sit for five minutes and then use however much the recipe calls for . Eric and I were discussing ways we could spend more quality time together . Our problem , like many other married couples I 'm sure , is that our hobbies are . . . different . You will never catch me on a computer playing Counterstrike . You will never see Eric with a ball of yarn and a hook in his hands unless you travel back in time to his childhood when his grandmother taught him how to crochet . We can 't figure out what brought us together except for the fact that we think the same jokes are funny and the same goals in life are worth pursuing . We are also incredibly attracted to each other , physically , but that is not something I want to publish on the internet for my son and his friends to read in fifteen years and become horribly embarrassed about . Or maybe I do . Micah , your father and I are extremely attracted to each other in the physical sense . As far as hobbies are concerned , we have found common ground on the following territories : 1 . Cribbage2 . Ping Pong3 . Movies4 . Scrabble5 . Yahoo EuchreOften our conversations go something like this : Me : " Do you want to do something ? " Eric : ( Picturing the scrabble board or some other activity I 'm likely to suggest ) " No , that 's okay , babe . " Isn 't that horribly sad and pathetic ? ! So . Quality Time . . . we decided to see if we could use his parents ' old PlayStation since his sister , who still lives at home , really wants a new system . I think she wants an X Box . I think Eric will compromise his Gamers ' Integrity by playing a little Wheel of Fortune , Packman , and Bejeweled with me . What kinds of hobbies do you share with your spouse ? Filed under My favorite part of the day involves finding new ways to make Micah laugh . His giggles are often muffled by his fists , which he stuffs in his mouth constantly . Lean in too close , and he 'll grab your mouth or nose with his dripping hands , smearing spit all over your face . Does that stop me from planting five hundred kisses on those chubby cheeks of his ? Not in a million years ! Yesterday he turned four months old . I can 't believe how fast time is flying by . Everyone told me this would happen , but I never understood just how right there were until now . He is so active , so playful , and oh so opinionated ! I feel like it was only yesterday that he fit right between my crossed arms . Today his long legs sprawl over my lap and onto the couch . He 's wearing 9mo / 12mo sleepers . Where he got his height , I have no idea ! He looks so much like my husband , it 's scary . This week my dad 's parents drove across the Midwest to visit and meet Micah for the first time . I have to admit I was a little worried in the weeks leading up to their visit . You see , up until about a week ago , Micah was pitching a fit whenever anyone would try to hold him . . . except for me . He would be fine for a few minutes , then suddenly his eyes would widen and his bottom lip would curl . Tears would brim and in seconds he would go from cooing to screaming at a volume that would likely burst your eardrum if you stood too close . Then one day , Micah woke up and decided he was no longer a one woman man . Now he is a little charmer , talking and smiling at whoever carries him around . . . as long as they hold him the way he likes . I mentioned yesterday that it 's " his way or the highway , " well this especially applies to how he wants to be held . He used to enjoy snuggling with his head tucked into your neck or looking over your shoulder . Now he strongly prefers to be carried facing out with his legs dangling so he can see everything in front of him and wiggle at will . He can still burst your eardrum if you happen to be nearby when he gets a wet diaper . If he is playing and happy , and then all of a sudden he starts screaming like someone pinched him , chances are he has just wet himself . It is during these moments of near hearing loss that I close my eyes and envision a potty seat sitting upon a golden throne with angels singing hallelujah in the background . I look forward to ditching the diapers for smiley stickers and m & ms and ninja turtle underwear . ( Do they still make ninja turtle underwear ? ) Anyway , back to the visit from the Great Grandparents . . . it was a joy to see my granny hold my son , play with him , and rock him to sleep . I am so blessed . Micah has gotten to meet all four of his Great Grandmothers and two of his Great Grandpas . I don 't think I ever got to meet any of my great grandparents , even as an infant . Four generations gathered around the patio table to enjoy my dad 's amazing beef tenderloin , seven layer salad , Filed under Micah is developing an interest in his surroundings . No longer content to lay back and nap during car rides ( unless he is tired , of course ) , he leans forward to look out the window or around the vehicle . His reclining infant carrier is not condusive to sitting up , however , so sometimes it takes a small circus to keep him entertained when he is not able to sit up the way he would like to . It 's interesting to see such a strong personality at just four months old . " It 's his way or the high way . " I can already tell we 're going to have our hands full as we train him up to be a well behaved and Godly young man . He is stubborn and spirited . Fortunately , these qualities have the potential to make him a great leader if kept in check and given a proper outlet . He is also very sweet and when he 's happy , you can 't wipe the smile off his face . Every day I find new ways to get him to laugh . He already loves to roughhouse ; he is definitely a boy . Today I put together his new stroller and we took it for a spin around the neighborhood . What a difference sitting upright makes ! He actually enjoyed cruising around for once . Before we used a stroller frame that his infant carrier clicked into - but he would always cry unless he was asleep . I was convinced that it was because it forced him to lay back and I was right ! Our neighborhood is still largely undeveloped , so there are plenty of paved roads without traffic - perfect for walks . Built on the side of a hill , this neighborhood really gives your calves a workout ! His eyes were wide with curiosity as we walked up and down the hill on the empty road . I pointed out grass , rocks and wildflowers . We spent about 15 minutes outside until he got a little too tired and started whimpering . I 'm going to start taking him out every day unless the weather is bad . He really enjoys being outside ! What little kid doesn 't ? I am on a quest to find all the best online devotions - - specifically for moms . Do you have a favorite online devotion that is geared towards moms ? E - mail me the link and I will add it to this list ! Manna for MomsMegan Breedlove writes devotionals for moms based on timeless stories of motherhood and her experiences with her own children . Megan is a mother to four children and has a master 's degree in marriage and family counseling and a master 's in religious education . Proverbs 31 Ministries : Daily DevotionsProverbs 31 Ministries is committed to bringing clear Biblical teaching to women in every walk of life through our conferences , retreats and church events . Their daily devotions offer today 's busy women encouragement as they seek to draw closer to the heart of God . Written by a terrific team of women willing to be real with their struggles and their faith , you 'll find their words relevant and refreshing . ( Description taken from Proverbs31 . org ) Universal Man Law : Men bond on the couch . Micah has discovered that the world is much more interesting when you 're sitting up , and therefore throws a fit if you lay him on his back on the floor . He 's fine in his Bumbo , fine if you put him on his tummy , but on his back ? Oh no - no - no . He has been staring at the ceiling fan for four months now , you know , and he 's had enough of that . The easy solution , of course , has been to prop him up on the couch . He loves this view since he can watch all the action . Give him a few toys ( or a blanket ) to chew on and he 's a happy camper . Big daddy Eric is happy , too , since he doesn 't have to tote the little guy around on one arm all night . Look at Eric , doesn 't he look great ? He 's lost over fifteen pounds in the past month . Ladies , doesn 't it frustrate you how quickly men can shed the weight ? It 's as though they merely think about weight loss and it happens . Eric has worked really hard , though ; he has been eating a low carb diet and cutting out most of the junk food . He has been working out as well . He does this routine with a 45 - pound weight that I can 't even peel off the floor , and he tosses it around like a dinner plate . I 'll settle for being able to carry a 15 - pound baby for several hours .
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And green is my favourite colour … A friend sent me this when I asked for it . Am I the only one who thinks it 's beautiful ? ? Kericho Kenya How it all Begun . A quiet , shy and conservative girl . That is what I was ; and what I still am . Having such a personality , making friends wasn 't easy . And the few that I had , well let 's just say relating to them wasn 't easy . See , all through life , my friends have always been a lively fun - loving group . So mostly I just sat with them and listened . Not that I 'm complaining … I love listening . With such a situation , what do you do when you need to talk to someone or get something off your shoulders ? I chose to write . I didn 't really choose , it just came naturally . Being born in a generation where TV watching was a main source of entertainment ( much as the parents said television fries our brains ) , I enjoyed watching TV and wanted to become a screenwriter or a director . Then I discovered novels . I guess these are the only books I read without being pressured or watched . I even got in trouble reading them during class . After these I started reading articles in the newspaper and literature class was my favorite of all . And that 's how I got into writing . I started with daily journals , tried poetry and short articles . Most people tell me I over think … which is true . But that is what makes me who I am . I like looking at people and wondering what are they thinking ? And how special they are in their own different ways , whether they know it or not . . ? I source my inspiration from the occurrences in my life , the people around me and the world as a whole . And that is what I intend to bring here . I also do a bit of photography . Therefore I will use some of my work in this blog . Let 's have fun as we walk together in this journey called life . Aside • Posted on September 20 , 2016September 20 , 2016 by alfieciru Posted in Life , Love , Uncategorized Mother , my hero ! ! ! Posted on May 14 , 2017May 14 , 2017 by alfieciru They say all babies are beautiful , but that was not he case when it came to him . His head was too big for his body , his eyes oddly wide , his ears stuck out too much and his teeth didn 't fit in his mouth . People were not particularly flustered when he smiled at them . They did not fuss after him and when he cried , they did not care . Only one person did . His mother . Every time he shied away from a group of kids and kept to himself in a corner , she called out to him and when he did not answer , she took the children to him . When he did not trust his answer when doing his homework , she helped him out and reminded him " You can do it ! " . Years later when he stared at himself in the mirror for too long , she 'd say " If you keep staring at your handsome self for so long , you will go blind . " And he believed every word she said . That he was handsome . That he could do it all . When others did not believe in him , he thought of his mother , smiled to himself and went ahead to prove them wrong . Twenty five years into his life , he realized the truth . He wasn 't ugly or insufficient . He was perfectly normal . His featured seemed enormous when he was a baby for the simple reason that he was a baby . By now he had grown well into his skin . People were flustered when he smiled at them or laughed , just not as much as his mother . They did care when he cried only that by the time they reacted to his outburst , his mother was already by his side sweeping him into her arms . The love she gave him made all else seem exiguous . And people doubted his skills and expertise because that is just how the world is . When she called him handsome , it was no lie . How did he know that ? As he stood in front of a crowd of friends and family looking straight ahead all he could see was the most beautiful lady he had ever seen ( after his momma of course ) . At the altar when he said I do to his now wife , his heart was swell . " Why are you afraid to approach her ? She would be the luckiest girl in the world if she had you by her side … " His mother was never wrong when it came to some things . She always said that he was the best gift that God had ever given her , but he would like to tell her … I … would like to tell you that you are the gift here . Mom , because of you I am and because of your love I grew up to be the man I am today . You never denied me anything , well apart from the play station 2 I had wanted as a kid . But you knew what was best for me . You encouraged me despite my lack of self belief . You allowed me to explore and discover what I did best . Allowed me to pursue my passion and become my own person . I realised I have never told you all these things . So instead I wrote them down . I love you mom ! ! ! ! ! What else can I say ? I 'm grateful , thankful , happy and many other things … Posted in Life , Social , Uncategorized Social Media on the up side Posted on April 29 , 2017April 30 , 2017 by alfieciru How long has it been since my last post ? Close to three weeks 🤔 ? ? I remember when I started blogging . I aimed at posting an article every week … and I did manage , while I was on holiday . But then we started the semester and I would like to say that campus life is all fun and games but someone clearly lied to me while I was in high - school . Almost everyone who came to preach or motivate us ( I 'm guessing most of us had their fair share of such ) told us the same thing . " This is the hardest level of education . When you get to university , you will have all the time to do all these social things you cry for and the best thing is , no one will be running after you . ' May they all face the wrath of karma for lying to us ! ! ! 😠 The only true bit is that no one is running after you . I don 't know about the rest of you though . Maybe I could be the only one mourning the death of my social life since I got to the 3rd year of university . Let 's have a moment of silence please … So , since I cannot have an active one on one social life , I am thankful for social media . THANK YOU MARK ZUCKERBERG ! ! ! ! 👍 Honestly though , I haven 't been tech savvy until I was forced to step up in order to fit in our engineering class . I was the last to join facebook , instagram and snapchat ( which I am still trying to understand ) . But I really like the idea of interacting with people without having to meet them . This may have something to do with my weird relationships with strangers . My parents though , and many more , definitely do not share my sentiments . Social media makes you lazy , rots your brains and will make you poor while you make others rich are just a few of their views and thoughts . But here are a few things parents don 't know about social media . Actually let me summarize them to two . Well there is good exposure and bad exposure . The bad kind definitely stands out more and is the reason for the bad name . Other than that , it 's all good . I can barely count the times when I have had brilliant ideas just browsing . Social media has become my encyclopedia and at times a source of motivation . The beautiful dresses , shoes , cars and houses online are all the motivation I need to make my life ' The life to live ' . People get access to information on twitter and are able to air their grievances , something Kenyans and Trump have become really fond of . Hashtags are bringing more change and awareness than ever before . I have visited countries and attended events via my screen . I mean it doesn 't get better than that . Well that 's a tiny lie . I would love to be in these places in person , sponsors are welcome … J . K Are you as impressed as I am ? Was this an eye - opener ? I know what some of these words mean separately but together , I don 't think I understand what they mean yet . But I already think I have an idea of what I want to do with my life . Businesses nowadays depend on social media for marketing solutions . Start - ups grow right in front of our eyes . Talents are nurtured and turned into money makers at unbelievable ages . That 's social media for us in the 21st century . Everything is going online people … don 't get left behind . Be in the front line ! Speaking of which , I acknowledge that I haven 't been posting as often as I would like to . Hehe … Writer 's block is real people . I have seen it . Always thought it was a myth . In order to write , inner peace is required . Since it proves difficult to write long articles due to lack of this peace and quiet , I do my writing on Instagram . Scroll to the bottom of the page to see what I have been up to while I was M . I . A . Hit the follow button too 😊😊 , on both Instagram and the blog … Posted in Life , Thoughts , Uncategorized Wake Up Kenya ! ! Posted on April 11 , 2017April 11 , 2017 by alfieciru 3rd world ? ? What does that even mean ? 🤔 Are the 1st and 2nd world countries better than us ? So what , we are broke and cannot help ourselves ? But is that really true ? Let 's look at this step by step , shall we … Africa is known as the dark continent . Probably because we did not have electricity before the 1900 's . But we did have the sun right ? It couldn 't have been that dark . Oh wait , come to think of it , it might have been . We had a large forest cover that was thick which could have blocked the light from getting to the ground . Oh well we 'll never know … So the whites , British to be exact , thought they would come to Kenya and enlighten us and we became the Kenya colony in 1920 . Well that is when they made it official but we all know they had stayed for quite a while before that . From the history I learned in school and the set book ' The River Between ' , the Kenyan people fought for their freedom . The Kabaka guy , Mekatilili Wa Menza and Dedan Kimathi are just a few of the freedom fighters we read about almost every year . A few collaborated as they were taught about the Good news and introduced to education ( these were the guys who followed the saying that ' when life gives you lemons , make lemonade ' ) . They knew that their weapons were nothing compared to the guns the whites carried with them everywhere . At times I 'm not sure if I am happy about the whole colonizing thing or not . I mean sure the Gospel came to Kenya and we were able to access education and utilize most of our unused brain . But on lazy days , I curse the colonizers … I mean instead of going to class and sitting through a long tiresome lecture about the Maxwell 's equations or Bell and Schrodinger ( Man I hate this guy 😒😒 , scientists are weird though . Why did they go ahead and see things that were supposed to be invisible ? ? Now we have all these things that we are supposed to know and are very difficult ) … Uh - oh , I am way off topic . Where was I ? Ah , the class . Instead of being in class , I could be somewhere in a forest digging for food maybe . Considering my age , I could have been married with some kids . Well over three I 'm guessing . That 's a downside , but it would have been the norm . Walking in animal skin and bathing in the river … aaaah that would have been the life 😎 ! ! ! But hey , getting colonized was okay I guess . So here we are in the 21st century and it feels like we are still on a leash . We are still surviving on grants , deep in debt and cannot solve our own problems . The last few months I have attended a few conferences and it just hit me that we are so dependent on other countries . Not to sound ungrateful or anything , trust me I am full of gratitude . How is it that 54 years after becoming an ' independent ' country we don 't live up to the name ? I love our country and would not prefer to live anywhere else but honestly some times I am highly disappointed in ourselves . When I was seated in the UON towers , 6th floor , during a session in the Triple Helix Conference , a question came to my mind . " ARE WE STILL COLONIZED ? " . I think the answer came to me just now . No ! No , we are not colonized . We have handicapped ourselves . Kenya may seem well off from a far , but we are not doing anywhere close to good . In a population of 44 million , 42 % live below the poverty line . That is like a machine that has an efficiency of 58 % . Anyone knows that is not good at all . I remember there was a time when we used to say that foreigners cause war in African countries and meddle in our affairs to drain our resources . That may or may not be true , I don 't know and frankly I don 't care for now . I think it 's high time we stop shifting the blame . We take debts and grants from the world bank ( or whoever ) and for a moment there , we feel rich . Then we divide the cash among different ministries and counties with the intention of making change . Instead they land in people 's pockets thus the rich grow richer and the poor stay poor . We dwell on giving political solutions instead of technical ones . I mean how else would you explain the same road having to be repaired every rainy season , yet the same contractor will be hired time and time again ? Right now the roads are being built by the Chinese . Does that mean that we do not have capable guys to do the job ? Every year , well over 2000 engineers graduate from the universities . Where do they all disappear to ? How is it that the youth are constantly crying that we lack jobs yet the doctors and teachers , in fact all professions , are complaining that they need more people ? Strikes have become a day - to - day thing since that seems to be the only way to communicate . Inflation is a nightmare yet our salaries remain a constant . I know I sound like I am just pointing out what is wrong . That is exactly what I am trying to do . Kenya is a great country with huge potential and brilliant people ( or is it just the ones surrounding me ? Nuh , I don 't think so ) . Why don 't we take up responsibility for our own problems . I believe the solution is within us . I mean the problems are our own after all right ? Let 's start with the coming elections . Let us all show up to vote and nominate great and honest leaders . Let 's be peaceful . Don 't harm your long term neighbor because they have different views from you . In fact , kura yako ni siri yako ( your vote is your own secret ) . What is tribalism ? ? We should refuse to be split by something as trivial as tribal lines . WE ARE KENYA 🇰🇪 ! ! ! Posted in Life , Love , Uncategorized New Love Posted on March 30 , 2017March 30 , 2017 by alfieciru Two strangers cross paths either by accident , as a coincidence or because the circumstances forced them to meet . They exchange a word or two and boom ! ! ! They like each other . They think huh , we can be friends . They start meeting often . This time for coffee , another time for lunch or for a walk . They may be in a group of people or just them two , but they always have this connection that makes them feel as if they are alone . One is shy and the other is bold . One is full of fear but the other compensates this fear with courage . And soon they realise that it 's not just friendship anymore . It 's something more , but neither is ready to share . Other people start asking questions . " What 's up with you and so and so ? " , " I see you two are getting close 😉”… " What ? ? We are just friends 😶 " They wonder if the other said something about them , told people that they felt something . Finally , the guy gathers courage and decides to speak out … in form of a love letter . I know that we 've barely known each other for a long time and it may sound weird but please allow me to say what I 've been thinking for quite some time now . When I first met you , I thought you were the most awkward person I have ever met leave alone seen . But then I got to know you and I realised that you 're not awkward ; you 're just a beautifully unique human being . I know I sound like I am exaggerating things but this is my opinion of you . You made me view the world from a different perspective . You know like looking through a kaleidoscope ; this is what I saw looking at the world from your eyes . The world just got that much colorful . I 've always enjoyed your company . I like your smile , your laugh , the way your eyes become smaller and watery when you laugh hard . Always makes me laugh with you even when I don 't understand what the joke is all about . I like how you bite your lower lip when you are deep in thought or how you scratch your head when trying to find a solution to a problem . I like how you jump up excitedly when you finally get a solution ; that phrase , what was it again ? ' Eureka , I 've found it ! ! ' always cracked me up . I like that you 're a good listener . Every time I have a problem , you 're always there to give an ear . You may not have any solutions but this is always enough . I do not like to see you troubled or sad , it makes my heart cringe . But even when I cannot make the sadness go away , you know that you have a shoulder to cry on if shedding of tears is necessary . I like how your petite figure fits into mine every time we hug either hi or bye . Interestingly , I like the times we just sit there silently with nothing to tell each other . Occasionally stealing glances and looking away thinking the other hasn 't seen . I like how stubborn you are which leads us to have unending arguments . I like how strong - willed you are , that you never let anything keep you down . I like that you are a God fearing person . This is the reason I am convinced that you were made for me 😂 . My missing rib mYours truly Posted in photography , Uncategorized The Sunset Never Grows Old Posted on March 20 , 2017March 22 , 2017 by alfieciru The sunset being an everyday thing has gotten to a point where people rarely appreciate its magnificence . Still I do not take it for granted . I may fail to notice it daily but when I do , I just stare in awe . You know that wide - eyed open - mouth look ? That 's what I always have . When that happens , I always feel my spirit uplifting . For a moment I forget about whoever or whatever made my day hectic . I forget about the deadlines that are quickly drawing near . I forget about where I am and just … stare . The sunset to me is one of God 's miracles ; a gift to humanity . How much damage can one cause in their moment of carelessness . How often can one bite off more than they can chew ? How painful it is to hurt someone accidentally yet you saw it coming ? " I never meant for this to happen " … Sure we did not . But we still let it happen … Which animal chases after prey only to leave it after getting hold of it ? At times we humans act like such . Not that we do it on purpose , neither do we " mean for it to occur " . It 's just how we are . When do we truly know that we love something so much that we can never get tired of it ? Today - " I love that song I could listen to it all day every day " … Two weeks later - " I got bored with it " Were we made this way ? Isn 't there anything we can do about it ? How is it possible to love someone and still be afraid , still be hesitant yet you know they love you more ? ? I thought love is the answer to a lot of things ? Evidently I was wrong Posted in Fictional writing , Life , Love , Uncategorized Just The Two of Us Posted on March 5 , 2017March 5 , 2017 by alfieciru HER : He said he came from Jamaica , he owned a couple of acres . A couple fake visas cause he never got his papers . Well that wasn 't him . This one was just always there . Three years down the line but I have only known him for two . First acquaintances then friends . I called him my soulmate but he never knew why . CIA agents he called us because we ran a covert affair . That 's how it started but only for so long . Awesomeness and greatness all put in one . Amazed I am and humbled to have known such . A sweet tongue he has and the skill to use it he doesn 't lack . Maneno matamu humtoa nyoka pangoni ; and outside my cave he managed to draw me . Let 's make it on a Friday , I could be late but don 't worry I 'm always on time . Those were his words . After struggling with the spaghetti and downing the cooling cocktail , his bag he handed me ; the one I had always coveted . My face lit up all excited . ' Finally ! He gave it up … ' . ' Open it up ' , he said . All so curious I looked inside but so dark it was I almost didn 't see it . Then the pink caught my eye and my heart skipped a bit . Pulling it out , I held my breath . When my heart got back to beating , the rhythm wasn 't the same . It beat harder and I felt a lump come up my throat . I tried to speak but my voice caught and the words disappeared . Speechless ! ! I laughed to hold back the tears . " Keep it together girl " , was all I could hear in my mind . ' On my way home I kept staring outside the window fighting back the waterworks for so many reasons ' , I told him . But the real reasons he might never know . Three rocks that shine and glimmer in the sun . ' I wish I could have captured this moment on video … You should have seen the look on your face : You couldn 't have looked more beautiful ' are the words I remember him saying . ' What were they for ? ' I asked . The answer I did not get . So , while I 'm seated here playing with the necklace on HIM : Wow … I 'm flattered , speechless in fact . Real reasons I might never know ? ? I thought the secrets would have stopped by now ? ? A sweet tongue I know I have . She says I have the skill to use it but I doubt I do . With it I never got her to the tip after all . She on the other hand knows how to kill it . ' Slow down ! ' I told her . I feared I might buzz real quick and the magical moment would have been short lived . But she is obedient . ' The sight of you is second to none ! ' I told her . But she said I turn my sweet words into actions , otherwise she thought I 'm just a flirt . Three rocks glimmering under the sun is what she called what I got her . She almost wept . Her heart melted and she went speechless ! She thinks it is a farewell gift , but not so . She is the custodian of the three rocks . I will be back not to take them away , but to replace the one on the neck . As I think of it 's perfect position and the glorious view it has of that chest let alone the sweet scent around , I get jealous . She claims that if she woke up and found herself hooked too much to me she will walk . So from acquaintances to friends to running a covert affair : was I a fool to think we could be more than that or was she the fool to think that she could walk away if shit got any realer ? ? HER : You know why I call him my soul mate ? ? Because he seems like someone we 'd get along with quite well . But as life is so unfair , soul mates do not end up together . And that is the sad bit . I keep asking myself are we wasting our time ? ? Or more specifically I his ? HIM : ' So tell me the real reasons why you had the waterworks . ' It 's true we might not end up together . She has questions that either you can 't get an answer to or a question that is an answer already and chances are you might not like the answer . Both options make you feel like she 's breathing fire on you . Now she asks if we are wasting each other 's time and specifically if she 's wasting mine . But I would like her to know … When she is around me , there 's no place I would rather be . When she is not , that 's the only place I 'd want to be . HER : As he was going to be away for some time , I couldn 't help but feel as if he was being taken away from me . I wanted so much to talk to him as much as I could but that was not possible . It seemed as if all the forces were working against me . First , my phone ran out of power . Then there was horrible traffic . And as if things couldn 't get any worse , the lights went off immediately we got home . I remember how hopeless I felt . He wanted me to comment on his last statement . But nothing came to mind . A large red throbbing heart I sent him since that is what mine felt like at the moment . HIM : I don 't care , coup de ' tat . If it 's someone I 'd rather be with you can even call me Kim Jong Un . So you can prepare in advance . When I get back , I 'm not holding back . After all , I did ' mark ' you as my own … And that was how the conversation ended . They agreed that no one would be replacing anyone . They would figure it out together … When they got a chance to sit down and talk . Hi , I 'm Alfie … my mind is always at work even when I 'm asleep . Outwardly I 'm beaming with positivity but deep inside , I have constant negative energy . I am very capable of changing the world and impact lives but I lack self - confidence . I like to keep time and meet deadlines but procrastinating is bae . I purpose to have a fulfilling spiritual life but the world engulfs me with all its intoxication . I am a loving person but not necessarily a friendly one . I enjoy people 's company but I hate crowds . I talk big game but I am a coward . I know all these and would like to change … but I have no clue where to start . From all the movies I have watched , one thing is clear . Prison is rough ! You get prosecuted and have a lawyer point out all the things they think you have done wrong ; convincing the jury that you should be excommunicated and if possible never exercise your right of freedom . If you have any ounce of decency at that moment , guilt gnaws on you and you 're sure there is no one worse than you in the world . Then you get to prison ! ! And you realize , you 're not that bad . It could be a wrong way of consoling yourself , but you meet people who have done far worse things ( according to you ) and you know there is a chance for your redemption . You just made a mistake that you 're paying for by staying in isolation and constantly thinking about what you 've done , how it has affected various people . Try picturing yourself in a room . An empty room . You 're curled up in a corner looking around nervously as if someone is out to get you ; burying your head in your arms that are rested on bent knees . The loneliness and sadness have drawn almost permanent tear lines down your face . The silence is too much for you that you 're almost going mad . Suddenly through the thick walls you can hear what is going on outside the room . You 're curious . You stare at the door wanting to get out into the world . Not that you can see it . The room is too dark as there are no windows , but many years of staying indoors have made you know where everything is . Standing up , you walk towards the door and as you fumble around , you realize there is a key . You open the door and peek outside , there are no guards . Here is your chance at freedom . All it takes is one step … just one . You lift your leg pushing it forward and pause … Then you step back , turn the key and go back to your corner . Later on , you will be wondering why you did that . Why you gave up freedom and locked yourself inside instead of stepping out . See , in this prison , no one keeps you inside but yourself . There is no judge , only you condemn you . Only you limit your potential . Only you inhibit your own happiness … and it sucks ! Nobody likes to be isolated . Human beings are social beings . I always say that we are created for a purpose . When one is in prison , they do not utilize their abilities and one is definitely not happy . Various things can make you imprison yourself including lack of self - belief , self - confidence and self - love . The good thing about this kind of prison ( or the bad thing ) is that you can get yourself out , only you . People may try to get you out but if you do not want to be helped , you will only stay inside and miss out on opportunities and happiness . We don 't want that now do we ? ? All you have to do is believe in yourself . Believe that the world is as you make it . That you are in charge . That God has your back . You are never alone , so don 't lock yourself in . You are the key to your own destiny . All you have to do is have faith , and work on it . Posted in Life , Love , Mood , Poetry , Uncategorized Happy Valentine 's … Or is it ? ? Posted on February 14 , 2017February 17 , 2017 by alfieciru It 's valentine 's day today
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And green is my favourite colour … A friend sent me this when I asked for it . Am I the only one who thinks it 's beautiful ? ? Kericho Kenya How it all Begun . A quiet , shy and conservative girl . That is what I was ; and what I still am . Having such a personality , making friends wasn 't easy . And the few that I had , well let 's just say relating to them wasn 't easy . See , all through life , my friends have always been a lively fun - loving group . So mostly I just sat with them and listened . Not that I 'm complaining … I love listening . With such a situation , what do you do when you need to talk to someone or get something off your shoulders ? I chose to write . I didn 't really choose , it just came naturally . Being born in a generation where TV watching was a main source of entertainment ( much as the parents said television fries our brains ) , I enjoyed watching TV and wanted to become a screenwriter or a director . Then I discovered novels . I guess these are the only books I read without being pressured or watched . I even got in trouble reading them during class . After these I started reading articles in the newspaper and literature class was my favorite of all . And that 's how I got into writing . I started with daily journals , tried poetry and short articles . Most people tell me I over think … which is true . But that is what makes me who I am . I like looking at people and wondering what are they thinking ? And how special they are in their own different ways , whether they know it or not . . ? I source my inspiration from the occurrences in my life , the people around me and the world as a whole . And that is what I intend to bring here . I also do a bit of photography . Therefore I will use some of my work in this blog . Let 's have fun as we walk together in this journey called life . Aside • Posted on September 20 , 2016September 20 , 2016 by alfieciru Posted in Life , Love , Uncategorized Mother , my hero ! ! ! Posted on May 14 , 2017May 14 , 2017 by alfieciru They say all babies are beautiful , but that was not he case when it came to him . His head was too big for his body , his eyes oddly wide , his ears stuck out too much and his teeth didn 't fit in his mouth . People were not particularly flustered when he smiled at them . They did not fuss after him and when he cried , they did not care . Only one person did . His mother . Every time he shied away from a group of kids and kept to himself in a corner , she called out to him and when he did not answer , she took the children to him . When he did not trust his answer when doing his homework , she helped him out and reminded him " You can do it ! " . Years later when he stared at himself in the mirror for too long , she 'd say " If you keep staring at your handsome self for so long , you will go blind . " And he believed every word she said . That he was handsome . That he could do it all . When others did not believe in him , he thought of his mother , smiled to himself and went ahead to prove them wrong . Twenty five years into his life , he realized the truth . He wasn 't ugly or insufficient . He was perfectly normal . His featured seemed enormous when he was a baby for the simple reason that he was a baby . By now he had grown well into his skin . People were flustered when he smiled at them or laughed , just not as much as his mother . They did care when he cried only that by the time they reacted to his outburst , his mother was already by his side sweeping him into her arms . The love she gave him made all else seem exiguous . And people doubted his skills and expertise because that is just how the world is . When she called him handsome , it was no lie . How did he know that ? As he stood in front of a crowd of friends and family looking straight ahead all he could see was the most beautiful lady he had ever seen ( after his momma of course ) . At the altar when he said I do to his now wife , his heart was swell . " Why are you afraid to approach her ? She would be the luckiest girl in the world if she had you by her side … " His mother was never wrong when it came to some things . She always said that he was the best gift that God had ever given her , but he would like to tell her … I … would like to tell you that you are the gift here . Mom , because of you I am and because of your love I grew up to be the man I am today . You never denied me anything , well apart from the play station 2 I had wanted as a kid . But you knew what was best for me . You encouraged me despite my lack of self belief . You allowed me to explore and discover what I did best . Allowed me to pursue my passion and become my own person . I realised I have never told you all these things . So instead I wrote them down . I love you mom ! ! ! ! ! What else can I say ? I 'm grateful , thankful , happy and many other things … Posted in Life , Social , Uncategorized Social Media on the up side Posted on April 29 , 2017April 30 , 2017 by alfieciru How long has it been since my last post ? Close to three weeks 🤔 ? ? I remember when I started blogging . I aimed at posting an article every week … and I did manage , while I was on holiday . But then we started the semester and I would like to say that campus life is all fun and games but someone clearly lied to me while I was in high - school . Almost everyone who came to preach or motivate us ( I 'm guessing most of us had their fair share of such ) told us the same thing . " This is the hardest level of education . When you get to university , you will have all the time to do all these social things you cry for and the best thing is , no one will be running after you . ' May they all face the wrath of karma for lying to us ! ! ! 😠 The only true bit is that no one is running after you . I don 't know about the rest of you though . Maybe I could be the only one mourning the death of my social life since I got to the 3rd year of university . Let 's have a moment of silence please … So , since I cannot have an active one on one social life , I am thankful for social media . THANK YOU MARK ZUCKERBERG ! ! ! ! 👍 Honestly though , I haven 't been tech savvy until I was forced to step up in order to fit in our engineering class . I was the last to join facebook , instagram and snapchat ( which I am still trying to understand ) . But I really like the idea of interacting with people without having to meet them . This may have something to do with my weird relationships with strangers . My parents though , and many more , definitely do not share my sentiments . Social media makes you lazy , rots your brains and will make you poor while you make others rich are just a few of their views and thoughts . But here are a few things parents don 't know about social media . Actually let me summarize them to two . Well there is good exposure and bad exposure . The bad kind definitely stands out more and is the reason for the bad name . Other than that , it 's all good . I can barely count the times when I have had brilliant ideas just browsing . Social media has become my encyclopedia and at times a source of motivation . The beautiful dresses , shoes , cars and houses online are all the motivation I need to make my life ' The life to live ' . People get access to information on twitter and are able to air their grievances , something Kenyans and Trump have become really fond of . Hashtags are bringing more change and awareness than ever before . I have visited countries and attended events via my screen . I mean it doesn 't get better than that . Well that 's a tiny lie . I would love to be in these places in person , sponsors are welcome … J . K Are you as impressed as I am ? Was this an eye - opener ? I know what some of these words mean separately but together , I don 't think I understand what they mean yet . But I already think I have an idea of what I want to do with my life . Businesses nowadays depend on social media for marketing solutions . Start - ups grow right in front of our eyes . Talents are nurtured and turned into money makers at unbelievable ages . That 's social media for us in the 21st century . Everything is going online people … don 't get left behind . Be in the front line ! Speaking of which , I acknowledge that I haven 't been posting as often as I would like to . Hehe … Writer 's block is real people . I have seen it . Always thought it was a myth . In order to write , inner peace is required . Since it proves difficult to write long articles due to lack of this peace and quiet , I do my writing on Instagram . Scroll to the bottom of the page to see what I have been up to while I was M . I . A . Hit the follow button too 😊😊 , on both Instagram and the blog … Posted in Life , Thoughts , Uncategorized Wake Up Kenya ! ! Posted on April 11 , 2017April 11 , 2017 by alfieciru 3rd world ? ? What does that even mean ? 🤔 Are the 1st and 2nd world countries better than us ? So what , we are broke and cannot help ourselves ? But is that really true ? Let 's look at this step by step , shall we … Africa is known as the dark continent . Probably because we did not have electricity before the 1900 's . But we did have the sun right ? It couldn 't have been that dark . Oh wait , come to think of it , it might have been . We had a large forest cover that was thick which could have blocked the light from getting to the ground . Oh well we 'll never know … So the whites , British to be exact , thought they would come to Kenya and enlighten us and we became the Kenya colony in 1920 . Well that is when they made it official but we all know they had stayed for quite a while before that . From the history I learned in school and the set book ' The River Between ' , the Kenyan people fought for their freedom . The Kabaka guy , Mekatilili Wa Menza and Dedan Kimathi are just a few of the freedom fighters we read about almost every year . A few collaborated as they were taught about the Good news and introduced to education ( these were the guys who followed the saying that ' when life gives you lemons , make lemonade ' ) . They knew that their weapons were nothing compared to the guns the whites carried with them everywhere . At times I 'm not sure if I am happy about the whole colonizing thing or not . I mean sure the Gospel came to Kenya and we were able to access education and utilize most of our unused brain . But on lazy days , I curse the colonizers … I mean instead of going to class and sitting through a long tiresome lecture about the Maxwell 's equations or Bell and Schrodinger ( Man I hate this guy 😒😒 , scientists are weird though . Why did they go ahead and see things that were supposed to be invisible ? ? Now we have all these things that we are supposed to know and are very difficult ) … Uh - oh , I am way off topic . Where was I ? Ah , the class . Instead of being in class , I could be somewhere in a forest digging for food maybe . Considering my age , I could have been married with some kids . Well over three I 'm guessing . That 's a downside , but it would have been the norm . Walking in animal skin and bathing in the river … aaaah that would have been the life 😎 ! ! ! But hey , getting colonized was okay I guess . So here we are in the 21st century and it feels like we are still on a leash . We are still surviving on grants , deep in debt and cannot solve our own problems . The last few months I have attended a few conferences and it just hit me that we are so dependent on other countries . Not to sound ungrateful or anything , trust me I am full of gratitude . How is it that 54 years after becoming an ' independent ' country we don 't live up to the name ? I love our country and would not prefer to live anywhere else but honestly some times I am highly disappointed in ourselves . When I was seated in the UON towers , 6th floor , during a session in the Triple Helix Conference , a question came to my mind . " ARE WE STILL COLONIZED ? " . I think the answer came to me just now . No ! No , we are not colonized . We have handicapped ourselves . Kenya may seem well off from a far , but we are not doing anywhere close to good . In a population of 44 million , 42 % live below the poverty line . That is like a machine that has an efficiency of 58 % . Anyone knows that is not good at all . I remember there was a time when we used to say that foreigners cause war in African countries and meddle in our affairs to drain our resources . That may or may not be true , I don 't know and frankly I don 't care for now . I think it 's high time we stop shifting the blame . We take debts and grants from the world bank ( or whoever ) and for a moment there , we feel rich . Then we divide the cash among different ministries and counties with the intention of making change . Instead they land in people 's pockets thus the rich grow richer and the poor stay poor . We dwell on giving political solutions instead of technical ones . I mean how else would you explain the same road having to be repaired every rainy season , yet the same contractor will be hired time and time again ? Right now the roads are being built by the Chinese . Does that mean that we do not have capable guys to do the job ? Every year , well over 2000 engineers graduate from the universities . Where do they all disappear to ? How is it that the youth are constantly crying that we lack jobs yet the doctors and teachers , in fact all professions , are complaining that they need more people ? Strikes have become a day - to - day thing since that seems to be the only way to communicate . Inflation is a nightmare yet our salaries remain a constant . I know I sound like I am just pointing out what is wrong . That is exactly what I am trying to do . Kenya is a great country with huge potential and brilliant people ( or is it just the ones surrounding me ? Nuh , I don 't think so ) . Why don 't we take up responsibility for our own problems . I believe the solution is within us . I mean the problems are our own after all right ? Let 's start with the coming elections . Let us all show up to vote and nominate great and honest leaders . Let 's be peaceful . Don 't harm your long term neighbor because they have different views from you . In fact , kura yako ni siri yako ( your vote is your own secret ) . What is tribalism ? ? We should refuse to be split by something as trivial as tribal lines . WE ARE KENYA 🇰🇪 ! ! ! Posted in Life , Love , Uncategorized New Love Posted on March 30 , 2017March 30 , 2017 by alfieciru Two strangers cross paths either by accident , as a coincidence or because the circumstances forced them to meet . They exchange a word or two and boom ! ! ! They like each other . They think huh , we can be friends . They start meeting often . This time for coffee , another time for lunch or for a walk . They may be in a group of people or just them two , but they always have this connection that makes them feel as if they are alone . One is shy and the other is bold . One is full of fear but the other compensates this fear with courage . And soon they realise that it 's not just friendship anymore . It 's something more , but neither is ready to share . Other people start asking questions . " What 's up with you and so and so ? " , " I see you two are getting close 😉”… " What ? ? We are just friends 😶 " They wonder if the other said something about them , told people that they felt something . Finally , the guy gathers courage and decides to speak out … in form of a love letter . I know that we 've barely known each other for a long time and it may sound weird but please allow me to say what I 've been thinking for quite some time now . When I first met you , I thought you were the most awkward person I have ever met leave alone seen . But then I got to know you and I realised that you 're not awkward ; you 're just a beautifully unique human being . I know I sound like I am exaggerating things but this is my opinion of you . You made me view the world from a different perspective . You know like looking through a kaleidoscope ; this is what I saw looking at the world from your eyes . The world just got that much colorful . I 've always enjoyed your company . I like your smile , your laugh , the way your eyes become smaller and watery when you laugh hard . Always makes me laugh with you even when I don 't understand what the joke is all about . I like how you bite your lower lip when you are deep in thought or how you scratch your head when trying to find a solution to a problem . I like how you jump up excitedly when you finally get a solution ; that phrase , what was it again ? ' Eureka , I 've found it ! ! ' always cracked me up . I like that you 're a good listener . Every time I have a problem , you 're always there to give an ear . You may not have any solutions but this is always enough . I do not like to see you troubled or sad , it makes my heart cringe . But even when I cannot make the sadness go away , you know that you have a shoulder to cry on if shedding of tears is necessary . I like how your petite figure fits into mine every time we hug either hi or bye . Interestingly , I like the times we just sit there silently with nothing to tell each other . Occasionally stealing glances and looking away thinking the other hasn 't seen . I like how stubborn you are which leads us to have unending arguments . I like how strong - willed you are , that you never let anything keep you down . I like that you are a God fearing person . This is the reason I am convinced that you were made for me 😂 . My missing rib mYours truly Posted in photography , Uncategorized The Sunset Never Grows Old Posted on March 20 , 2017March 22 , 2017 by alfieciru The sunset being an everyday thing has gotten to a point where people rarely appreciate its magnificence . Still I do not take it for granted . I may fail to notice it daily but when I do , I just stare in awe . You know that wide - eyed open - mouth look ? That 's what I always have . When that happens , I always feel my spirit uplifting . For a moment I forget about whoever or whatever made my day hectic . I forget about the deadlines that are quickly drawing near . I forget about where I am and just … stare . The sunset to me is one of God 's miracles ; a gift to humanity . How much damage can one cause in their moment of carelessness . How often can one bite off more than they can chew ? How painful it is to hurt someone accidentally yet you saw it coming ? " I never meant for this to happen " … Sure we did not . But we still let it happen … Which animal chases after prey only to leave it after getting hold of it ? At times we humans act like such . Not that we do it on purpose , neither do we " mean for it to occur " . It 's just how we are . When do we truly know that we love something so much that we can never get tired of it ? Today - " I love that song I could listen to it all day every day " … Two weeks later - " I got bored with it " Were we made this way ? Isn 't there anything we can do about it ? How is it possible to love someone and still be afraid , still be hesitant yet you know they love you more ? ? I thought love is the answer to a lot of things ? Evidently I was wrong Posted in Fictional writing , Life , Love , Uncategorized Just The Two of Us Posted on March 5 , 2017March 5 , 2017 by alfieciru HER : He said he came from Jamaica , he owned a couple of acres . A couple fake visas cause he never got his papers . Well that wasn 't him . This one was just always there . Three years down the line but I have only known him for two . First acquaintances then friends . I called him my soulmate but he never knew why . CIA agents he called us because we ran a covert affair . That 's how it started but only for so long . Awesomeness and greatness all put in one . Amazed I am and humbled to have known such . A sweet tongue he has and the skill to use it he doesn 't lack . Maneno matamu humtoa nyoka pangoni ; and outside my cave he managed to draw me . Let 's make it on a Friday , I could be late but don 't worry I 'm always on time . Those were his words . After struggling with the spaghetti and downing the cooling cocktail , his bag he handed me ; the one I had always coveted . My face lit up all excited . ' Finally ! He gave it up … ' . ' Open it up ' , he said . All so curious I looked inside but so dark it was I almost didn 't see it . Then the pink caught my eye and my heart skipped a bit . Pulling it out , I held my breath . When my heart got back to beating , the rhythm wasn 't the same . It beat harder and I felt a lump come up my throat . I tried to speak but my voice caught and the words disappeared . Speechless ! ! I laughed to hold back the tears . " Keep it together girl " , was all I could hear in my mind . ' On my way home I kept staring outside the window fighting back the waterworks for so many reasons ' , I told him . But the real reasons he might never know . Three rocks that shine and glimmer in the sun . ' I wish I could have captured this moment on video … You should have seen the look on your face : You couldn 't have looked more beautiful ' are the words I remember him saying . ' What were they for ? ' I asked . The answer I did not get . So , while I 'm seated here playing with the necklace on HIM : Wow … I 'm flattered , speechless in fact . Real reasons I might never know ? ? I thought the secrets would have stopped by now ? ? A sweet tongue I know I have . She says I have the skill to use it but I doubt I do . With it I never got her to the tip after all . She on the other hand knows how to kill it . ' Slow down ! ' I told her . I feared I might buzz real quick and the magical moment would have been short lived . But she is obedient . ' The sight of you is second to none ! ' I told her . But she said I turn my sweet words into actions , otherwise she thought I 'm just a flirt . Three rocks glimmering under the sun is what she called what I got her . She almost wept . Her heart melted and she went speechless ! She thinks it is a farewell gift , but not so . She is the custodian of the three rocks . I will be back not to take them away , but to replace the one on the neck . As I think of it 's perfect position and the glorious view it has of that chest let alone the sweet scent around , I get jealous . She claims that if she woke up and found herself hooked too much to me she will walk . So from acquaintances to friends to running a covert affair : was I a fool to think we could be more than that or was she the fool to think that she could walk away if shit got any realer ? ? HER : You know why I call him my soul mate ? ? Because he seems like someone we 'd get along with quite well . But as life is so unfair , soul mates do not end up together . And that is the sad bit . I keep asking myself are we wasting our time ? ? Or more specifically I his ? HIM : ' So tell me the real reasons why you had the waterworks . ' It 's true we might not end up together . She has questions that either you can 't get an answer to or a question that is an answer already and chances are you might not like the answer . Both options make you feel like she 's breathing fire on you . Now she asks if we are wasting each other 's time and specifically if she 's wasting mine . But I would like her to know … When she is around me , there 's no place I would rather be . When she is not , that 's the only place I 'd want to be . HER : As he was going to be away for some time , I couldn 't help but feel as if he was being taken away from me . I wanted so much to talk to him as much as I could but that was not possible . It seemed as if all the forces were working against me . First , my phone ran out of power . Then there was horrible traffic . And as if things couldn 't get any worse , the lights went off immediately we got home . I remember how hopeless I felt . He wanted me to comment on his last statement . But nothing came to mind . A large red throbbing heart I sent him since that is what mine felt like at the moment . HIM : I don 't care , coup de ' tat . If it 's someone I 'd rather be with you can even call me Kim Jong Un . So you can prepare in advance . When I get back , I 'm not holding back . After all , I did ' mark ' you as my own … And that was how the conversation ended . They agreed that no one would be replacing anyone . They would figure it out together … When they got a chance to sit down and talk . Hi , I 'm Alfie … my mind is always at work even when I 'm asleep . Outwardly I 'm beaming with positivity but deep inside , I have constant negative energy . I am very capable of changing the world and impact lives but I lack self - confidence . I like to keep time and meet deadlines but procrastinating is bae . I purpose to have a fulfilling spiritual life but the world engulfs me with all its intoxication . I am a loving person but not necessarily a friendly one . I enjoy people 's company but I hate crowds . I talk big game but I am a coward . I know all these and would like to change … but I have no clue where to start . From all the movies I have watched , one thing is clear . Prison is rough ! You get prosecuted and have a lawyer point out all the things they think you have done wrong ; convincing the jury that you should be excommunicated and if possible never exercise your right of freedom . If you have any ounce of decency at that moment , guilt gnaws on you and you 're sure there is no one worse than you in the world . Then you get to prison ! ! And you realize , you 're not that bad . It could be a wrong way of consoling yourself , but you meet people who have done far worse things ( according to you ) and you know there is a chance for your redemption . You just made a mistake that you 're paying for by staying in isolation and constantly thinking about what you 've done , how it has affected various people . Try picturing yourself in a room . An empty room . You 're curled up in a corner looking around nervously as if someone is out to get you ; burying your head in your arms that are rested on bent knees . The loneliness and sadness have drawn almost permanent tear lines down your face . The silence is too much for you that you 're almost going mad . Suddenly through the thick walls you can hear what is going on outside the room . You 're curious . You stare at the door wanting to get out into the world . Not that you can see it . The room is too dark as there are no windows , but many years of staying indoors have made you know where everything is . Standing up , you walk towards the door and as you fumble around , you realize there is a key . You open the door and peek outside , there are no guards . Here is your chance at freedom . All it takes is one step … just one . You lift your leg pushing it forward and pause … Then you step back , turn the key and go back to your corner . Later on , you will be wondering why you did that . Why you gave up freedom and locked yourself inside instead of stepping out . See , in this prison , no one keeps you inside but yourself . There is no judge , only you condemn you . Only you limit your potential . Only you inhibit your own happiness … and it sucks ! Nobody likes to be isolated . Human beings are social beings . I always say that we are created for a purpose . When one is in prison , they do not utilize their abilities and one is definitely not happy . Various things can make you imprison yourself including lack of self - belief , self - confidence and self - love . The good thing about this kind of prison ( or the bad thing ) is that you can get yourself out , only you . People may try to get you out but if you do not want to be helped , you will only stay inside and miss out on opportunities and happiness . We don 't want that now do we ? ? All you have to do is believe in yourself . Believe that the world is as you make it . That you are in charge . That God has your back . You are never alone , so don 't lock yourself in . You are the key to your own destiny . All you have to do is have faith , and work on it . Posted in Life , Love , Mood , Poetry , Uncategorized Happy Valentine 's … Or is it ? ? Posted on February 14 , 2017February 17 , 2017 by alfieciru It 's valentine 's day today
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As you know , the policy of the church is to cancel meetings and classes on days that Knox County Schools are closed due to weather . As such , all meetings and activities are canceled today . If you have an appointment with anyone at the church today , please check with that person before coming to the church today . There is holy mystery in the Christmas story . We rightly savor it at this season . One of the mysteries of Christmas is how Jesus came to be born . Too often this subject zeroes in on the question : " Do you believe in the virgin birth ? " Some of us will immediately answer , " Oh , yes ! " Others will answer just as quickly , " Not at all . " Most folks in the middle hesitate a moment . Is this a matter of curiosity to explore OR a position we should be prepared to defend ? I have found myself in both situations . I want to think aloud with you today about how Jesus came to be conceived and then born . I want to think with you out loud about what it means that Jesus was born . And I especially want to think about the movement of God in the birth of the Christ Child . Article - II : Jesus Christ : We believe in Jesus Christ , truly God and truly man , in whom the divine and human natures are perfectly and inseparably united . He is the eternal Word made flesh , the only begotten Son of the Father , born of the Virgin Mary by the power of the Holy Spirit . As ministering Servant he lived , suffered and died on the cross . He was buried , rose from the dead and ascended into heaven to be with the Father , from whence he shall return . He is the eternal Savior and Mediator , who intercedes for us , and by him all men will be judged ( 1 ) . This statement of doctrine says more than we can find in our short passage from the Christmas story . I include it because our doctrine about Jesus Christ is important . As we are delving into the details of this particular passage , we must not lose sight of the great doctrine of Jesus Christ to which it points . Keeping this in mind , let 's look more closely at this detail in the scripture before us . You might say it this way : the subject of every theological claim is " God . " The main focus in understanding Matthew 's statement is on the work of God through the Holy Spirit ; Mary , like any one of us is servant and therefore second . We begin with the Holy Spirit at work in the conception of the Christ Child . Second , the best place to begin our exploration is the Bible . Are there other occasions and other births where God intervened for the conception and birth of a child ? Actually , there are several places where this occurred . 1 . The element these OT stories of miraculous birth do not share with the Christmas story is that these OT women were married , living with their husbands , and conceived in roughly the usual manner . I say , " roughly the usual manner , " because Sarah at 90 was not expected by anyone to have a child . Special circumstances attended each of these other births . The difference is that Matthew reports when Jesus was conceived , Mary and Joseph were not living together as husband and wife : When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph , but before they lived together , she was found to be with child . . . As Matthew says of Mary : " She was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit . " The biological details of how that conception took place by the Holy Spirit are not spelled out any more than they are spelled out in the OT stories of God 's intervention in the conception and birth of other children . While the ancients knew where babies come from , they knew nothing of the microscopic biology of conception . We must be careful lest we read our biological knowledge into the Biblical story . The words I just quoted from Matthew are , in fact , all that he reported about it . 2 . What all of these stories have in common is the * intervention of God * . In every case , including the Christmas story , God intervened for the conception and birth of a child . That intervention varies from situation to situation . Still , in every case , God 's intervention through the Holy Spirit promises a remarkable destiny for that child : Samson , Samuel , Isaac , Moses , John the Baptist , and finally Jesus . This will be a child who serves God in ways that bring God 's promises and blessings to humankind in ways not seen before . This is a child of destiny - whose destiny it will be to reveal the power and work of God in human history and human lives . - like the Hebrew children who followed Moses to the Promised Land , - like the kings who were led to build a nation with the guidance of the great prophet Samuel , - like the people of Judea who came out to repent at the preaching of John the Baptist . Every time God intervened to provide an exceptional birth , God called the child which was born to a tremendous destiny and purpose . Each of these children , conceived and born through the intervention of God , brought Israel to a new and richer understanding of God . / / This is the foundation for our understanding of Jesus ' birth as well . It was through the Holy Spirit that the child Jesus was conceived in Mary 's womb . Matthew 's claim is that Jesus ' conception pointed to a distinct life , of course . And that distinction was only made stronger as Jesus + began his ministry , + taught with power , + worked miracles that healed bodies and lives + and revealed the presence of God . That difference was only made stronger as Jesus + broke the bread at the Last Supper , + as he went to the cross , + as he died there for the healing of the world , + as he rose again from the dead on Easter . We know Jesus was not just another prophet - in - Israel by telling the rest - of - the - story by which our hearts burn within us at the telling . Jesus was not just another great leader ; Jesus was the living presence of God among us . III . By telling Joseph that Jesus would be born by the power of the Holy Spirt , God began a new step in His presence and work among humankind . God was telling Joseph and everyone of us who celebrate Christmas , " Behold , I am doing a new thing . Can you see it ? It is only by faith that we can see , you know . Thus , the story of the birth of the Christ Child is a call to every one of us to believe : Do you believe that God was in Jesus ? Do you believe that you must put your faith in Jesus if you would see God ? The destiny of all humankind is made clear and set upon a new path by this child born to Mary and to Joseph . To believe is to join Jesus Christ in seeing and working for the vision of God among us . Now , we must return to the story of Mary . You see , when the power of Jesus ' birth is in the Holy Spirit , then Mary is allowed to begin this story as an ordinary young woman , called to be a servant of God . As such , she is just as we are : Standing before the greatness and power of God , we are just as surely called to be servants of God . We began with the mystery of Christmas . Think about the mysterious possibility that Almighty God , the Creator of the Universe , might enter our lives in such an immanent , intimate way . Think about the mysterious possibility that God might attend and watch with you and me at our most human moments . Think about the evidence in this that God is still moved with love for the world that we call home . If God would call on a young woman named Mary and a husband named Joseph , God might include us in His Christmas as well . Imagine ! 1 . " Article II - Jesus Christ , " " Confession of Faith of the Evangelical United Brethren Church , " The 2008 Book of Discipline of the United Methodist Church , para . 103 , p . 67 . In the early days of Jesus ' ministry and later at the beginning of the church , there were people who wanted to discredit him . People heard the story about his miraculous birth . Those , who did not want to believe in him , seized on his birth as the way to undermine his message and his work . Even back in Biblical times , people knew where babies come from , and those who did not want to believe in his miraculous birth went looking for other explanations . In modern times , the supermarket tabloids are evidence that we enjoy a good sex scandal just as much as our ancestors did . Matthew knew about all this whispering . As he wrote his gospel for the Jewish people of Israel , he addressed the whispers about Mary head on . So , starting with chapter 1 , verse 1 , Matthew uses the genealogy of Jesus to defuse all this talk of a scandalous birth . Most family trees focus on the fathers ; this one is no exception . But there are mothers included , too . I want you to notice the women who are sprinkled through this list of generations . Five women are included on this list including Mary . What is interesting about these women is that each one of them is clearly part of the family tree of the Davidic line and each has something questionable about her past . It is as if Matthew is challenging those who would criticize Mary as a mother by pointing to the genealogy of all Israel . " If you want to raise questions about the kind of person who gave birth to Jesus , then you 'd better deal with the questions about the rest of your family tree . " 1 . Tamar was married to one of the sons of Judah . When that son died , the next son of Judah was supposed to take her home and give her children in the name of his brother . Thus , she would be provided for and that brother would have heirs . Well , the first brother wouldn 't do what he was supposed to do . Then , her father - in - law , Judah kept her away from his third son . Tamar was a good woman , a young widow , and she was about to become an outcast simply because her brothers - in - law wouldn 't do the right thing . So , taking matters into her own hands , she dressed as a prostitute and went to sit beside the road where her father - in - law , Judah , was sure to travel . When he came that way , he offered her money for sex . Basically , he was willing to have sex with a prostitute but not willing for his sons to do the right thing for his daughter - in - law . Well , when word got around that Tamar was pregnant , they hauled her into court on the way to a stoning . But , she brought the cord , the staff and the ring that Judah had left behind the night he was with her . Everyone expected to see her condemned . But , when she arrived she said , " The father of my child is the owner of this ring , this staff , and this cord . " And as soon as he saw them , Judah recognized them as his . He had to admit that he had done her wrong , so then he took her home to give her children in the name of his son . Tamar is one of the heroes of Israel because she took a risk to honor her husband with children , and one of her children became an ancestor of King David and thus an ancestor of Jesus . 2 . Rahab began as a prostitute . When Israel came into conquer the Promised Land , it was Rahab the prostitute who welcomed the scouting party that went to figure out how to invade the land . Now , ordinarily " good , upstanding , church people " aren 't supposed to celebrate prostitutes . The Bible is very direct about this . But , Rahab the Prostitute helped Israel do what God had sent them to do - to take the Land of Promise for their very own . Thus , Rahab is one of the heroes of Israel because she believed and risked her life for God 's purposes and God 's people . Later , one of her children became an ancestor of King David and thus an ancestor of Jesus . 3 . Ruth was a foreigner in Israel , a nation that was very suspicious of foreigners . She first married a young man from Israel . When he died , she went back to Israel to seek the same tradition that Tamar counted on - that one of her husband 's relatives would give her children so that her deceased husband could have heirs . Sadly , everyone knew the tradition about taking care of the widows who have no children , but it was widely ignored . In Ruth 's case , the connection between her deceased husband and any man she met in Israel was going to be very weak . Ruth is honored because this foreign widow , with little claim on Israel , held onto Israel 's tradition . She acted honorably and decisively to keep Israel 's tradition and to honor her husband . Thus , Ruth is one of the heroes of Israel because she took a risk in trusting God 's purposes and God 's people , and one of her children became an ancestor of King David and thus an ancestor of Jesus . 4 . The fourth woman in the genealogy is Bathsheba . When Israel was at war , David was at home in the palace . One day , he went up on the roof of the palace . While he was there , he looked out and saw a woman doing the ritual bath of women . He sent for her ( he was the king , after all ) , knowing that she was married to one of his own soldiers , one who was fighting for him and for Israel at that very moment . When Bathsheba became pregnant , David tried to cover it up . He brought Uriah home from the front , hoping he would go home to stay with his wife , but Uriah was too honorable to rest while his comrades were in the heat of battle . So , David sent him back to the battle carrying the message to put Uriah at the front of the battle where he would be killed . Uriah 's death happened as David asked , and he took Bathsheba into the palace as his wife . It was a great cover up until Nathan the Prophet confronted him one day . Today , we would call David 's actions " sexual abuse by a person of greater power and authority . " Bathsheba was powerless to refuse the king , but she was faithful in doing what was required of her and in raising her child . Thus , Bathsheba is one of the heroes of Israel because she took a risk to work for God 's purposes and God 's people . One of her children was the son of King David and thus an ancestor of Jesus . Now , let 's look back over this list of women before we move onto Mary . According to tradition , Matthew 's audience would have seen these four as women of * doubtful character * . We have been taught to expect the same . But , as we have looked closer today , each of these women showed herself to be the hero and the person of greater character than the man or the society of men who finally fathered their children . 5 . Now , Matthew watches as we run our fingers down the list of names in the genealogy . He looks at us closely as we pause at the name " Mary . " He knows that we are expected to find fault with her , to whisper about her doubtful character . We are expected to search for something in her that would diminish the character of her son , Jesus . By outlining these four women before her , Matthew has prepared us for Mary . The world whispered to us as we took up the story that she , like so many others , is of doubtful character . But , Matthew puts the list in front of us and calls us closer to examine their stories and their character . What we find is that on closer examination each of these doubtful women has proven to be * heroic * in character , risking their honor and dignity to do what was right , risking their honor on the distant promises of God , and , without ever seeing it themselves , trusting God to bring a Messiah to the hurting world . II . So , what do we learn from the Genealogy ? A . We learn that God has purposely woven men and women into His purposes . Imagine ! God could have cast a miracle : Stop all wars ! Clear up all disasters ! Show the nations how to live in peace ! With a little flash and a lot of thunder , God could have settled the whole problem in a matter of minutes . But God has chosen a different way . God has chosen to write the work of healing through the lives of faithful people . By God 's grace , humanity is chosen as necessary to every aspect of the work of God . B . Further , we have learned that God made a * necessary place * in the work of divine grace for these women of doubtful character . They are not just * allowed * or * tacked - on * . The prostitute and the sassy , back - talking daughter - in - law were made * necessary * . The young wife who was claimed as the King 's plaything and watched her husband be killed to cover up the crime was made * necessary * . And Mary , who knew that no one would understand , took the risk that God meant her good when he asked her to bear the Christ Child . All of these are , by God grace , made necessary to God 's act of grace . If they had not taken the risks that put their own reputations on the line , the next generation would not have been born , the Promised Land would not have been settled , and the Savior would not have found a home . So , hear the Good News . A . The grace of God is not reserved for the righteous , the washed , and those who got it right the first time . Let every woman , every man , with a past that you want to keep out of sight hear the news that you , too , may become * necessary * to the healing work of God 's grace . Despite your past ( or perhaps because of it ) , God may use your story as a step along the way to the healing of the nations . C . God is not afraid of our pasts nor our doubtful reputations . In God 's hands , our futures are open and brimming with possibility . [ CONCL ] On Christmas , God gathers up our broken , damaged lives to weave them into God 's gift of hope . The birth of Christ Child is not just a random act of kindness on the part of * God the Divine Stranger * . The first Christmas was not prepared on some distant planet and only then delivered fully formed to the manger in Bethlehem . In the birth of the Christ Child , God has taken the broken pieces of many lives and placed them one by one until they make the most beautiful work of art . What our ancestors did in desperation , God turned into courage and hope . What our ancestors did in blind trust , God turned into joyous faith . Christmas is all about faith that one day greets God now among us in the birth of Mary 's baby . This is the courage and the loving risk - taking that we celebrate at Christmas . God was moving during that time . Christmas is our reminder that God is still moving to heal the earth , the bind up the broken , to bring peace to the people and families and nations . Its beginning to look and feel a lot like Christmas . And yet , for some reason , the tradition of the church is to spend the first Sunday of Advent holding in tension the memory of Christ 's birth and the expected second coming of Christ when God 's work will be complete in the world . It 's a strange way to start , but perhaps a healthy dose of both will help all of us to experience the profound story of God 's love . My hope , is that through my clumsy perspective , Christ will tap on our shoulders and show each one of us at least part of what he meant in the apocalyptic words that Matthew recorded . " Expecting Again " Rev . Sarah VarnellMatthew 24 : 36 - 44To be honest , passages like I just read in Matthew make me nervous as a preacher . And most commentaries dismiss it as " apocalyptic , " with little explanation for fear of slipping into prediction mode . Help a preacher out ! I 've been unpacking reasons why that may be the case for days . . . as far as I see it there are some positives about it and some negatives , let 's start with the positives : ( 1 ) in talking about the second coming of Christ , we offer a proclamation of the hope we have that God is not finished with us . ( 2 ) its a reminder that we need to be in a posture of living each day as though it is our last . ( 3 ) the second coming is a sound teaching of the Church , we say in the mystery of faith , " Christ has died , Christ is risen , Christ will come again . " The negative aspects for me are , ( 1 ) many preachers and theologians have used this text to scare people into believing for fear of judgment and hell ( 2 ) truth is , though I believe in the second coming , most of what I know is that it is a mystery … no predictions here , and ( 3 ) at first glance , it just doesn 't seem so " Christmas - y . " Several years ago now , when I was a young sixth grader in my youth group , we went on a trip to a neighboring church for an event called " judgment house . " Being a child that from an early age majored in Sunday School answers , I was curious about judgment house . Some of the older membePosted by Ephesians 1 : 11 - 23Today is All Saints Sunday , the day when the church pauses to recognize that we are surrounded by saints . On this day we read out the names of those who have died in the faith in the certain hope that they are not dead but continue to live in and through us in the power of Christ . One of the reasons I love All Saints Sunday is that the church is in the business of producing saints . I can almost feel you squirm in your seats when I say that . But it 's true . The church collectively is made up of saints , those ordinary people who have been called by Jesus Christ to live sanctified lives , lives that are so caught up in the plans of God that they are called saints . The most important thing we do collectively is the week - in , week - out worship of the church gathered . How many troubled souls find life - giving sustenance and nourishment each week in the worship of the church . There are many folk out there who couldn 't make it if it were not for what they receive on a Sunday morning . Those words reminded me , a preacher , of the importance of the work as the church , gathered and scattered . Today I 'm thinking that one of the most important things we do here is that ordinary equipment we receive to be saints , to be those whose lives are caught up in God 's work in the world - saints . When we hear the word saint , we 're often too quick to think of Mother Teresa or Saint Francis . But I want us to think today in a more mundane , ordinary sense of saint . In fact , I 'm talking about you . According to a great preacher , a saint is someone whose life manages to be more than a " cranny through which the infinite peeps . " We hold the saint 's life up and through it we get a glimpse of the infinite and the eternal , a sighting of God . The saint is someone who somehow manages to live in two worlds . ( 1 ) And the apostle Paul celebrates those saints ! The saint 's faith has enabled him or her to release some of the tight grip by which most people hold on to this world and then is paradoxically able to receive this world as a gift . Posted by His search took him to the hut of a wise old hermit . Dressed in pauper 's clothes , the king visited the hermit who lived deep in the forest . As he approached the hermit , he saw that the hermit was on the verge of collapse . The king took the shovel the hermit had been working with and finished the job of digging his garden . At sundown , a bearded man with a terrible stomach wound staggered to the hermit 's yard . Unknown to the king , the man 's wound had been dealt by the king 's own guards who were keeping watch in the forest . Gently , the king cleaned the wound , bandaged it , and stopped the bleeding . Night fell , and the king slept on the threshold of the hut . When he awoke , he tended to the bearded man 's wound and checked on the hermit . The wounded man , overcome by guilt , made a confession to the king . He had been lying in wait for the king to return from the hermit 's hut so he could kill him . He was seeking revenge for a judgment the king had made against his brother some time in the past . The king listened intently and then promised to send his own doctor to tend the man 's wound . Then he prepared to take his leave . The hermit patiently explained that the king had received his answers on the previous day . When the king had come upon the sickly hermit , he had finished digging his garden for him . This was both the right thing at the right time and the most important matter at hand . Had the king chosen instead to leave , he would have been killed by his enemy in the forest . Secondly , he helped the wounded man , which was again , the right thing at the right time . The hermit continued , " Remember then , + there is only one * time * that is important . Now ! " It is the most important time because it is the only time when we have any power . The question that haunts me today is whether we are living with purpose - or just living ? Tolstoy struggled with this question ; you can see him working to answer it throughout his writings . We too must find purpose for our lives . We need a sense of purpose that shapes the way we live , the way we spend our money ; the way we give our money ; the great projects to which we give our lives . For years , we have imagined ourselves the Prodigal Child on an impulsive spending binge , then imagine ourselves coming home to Daddy with our maxed out Visa card in our hands . Right on cue , Daddy comes out with a big embrace and a smile to say , " Don 't worry ; it 's only money . You didn 't do anything we can 't fix . Come on home . " If sin and redemption are like this , then sign me up ! Now , look at the story of the prodigal more closely . By looking at the Biblical world , we can see how grievously hurtful his actions have been . Most of what he did cannot be undone . 1 . In a rural village in Biblical times , wealth was in the land your family owned and farmed . The father has inherited this land from his father and expects to hand it down to his sons ; each generation of the family will make its living on this land . Even as the current father holds the family land in his name , he knows that he only holds it in trust for the family and he will pass it along to the next generation . [ LAND GRANT ] My great - grandpa Chisam received a Revolutionary War land grant from his father . It was located in White County , Tennessee , not far from the Warren County line . The family story says : when the Revolutionary War was over , the new American government did not have the money to pay the soldiers , so they told them they could go into the wilderness beyond the Appalachian Mountains . There each soldier was allowed to stake a claim on all the land he could walk around in a day . So , my Revolutionary War ancestor went to White County and staked his claim . There he settled down to farm and raise a family . When he died , he passed it to his children and they to their children after them . Years passed , and my great - grandfather inherited this land grant when it was his turn . Unfortunately , he wanted to hunt and fish more than he wanted to farm . So , to support his family , he began to sell of bits and pieces of the land grant until it was little more than a large building lot where the house was located . And that went to some other branch of the family . So , by the time I came along , the old people in the family knew where the land grant used to be , but it belonged to many others - not to our family . I remember going to the home place and standing where I could look around at the land which surrounded it . It is a magnificent piece of land . For years afterwards , the old people would tell that story , and then they would just drop the subject . That was the legacy of great - grandpa . The land that came to our family from such a noble beginning is lost from the family forever . This legacy , and the possibility of losing it , is what every Biblical family understood . The wealth the father holds , which he will pass along to his sons , is family land . When the prodigal son sells it off , the land is not coming back . This is a decision with permanent results . 2 . Now , the younger son comes to the father and says , " Divide to me the share that will come to me . " We are talking about his inheritance when his father dies . He is basically saying to the old man , " Let 's pretend you are dead ; what do I get ? " It is a horrible request . None of us can imagine saying such a cruel thing to our parents . It is unthinkable . But , the younger son asks , " Let 's pretend you 're dead . " The hurt is beyond measure . 3 . Jesus does not say WHY the father agreed to answer the younger son 's question or why he was willing to transfer the property to the boy . He just says that the father did divide the property and transferred it to the boy . Now , the boy goes to the village gate and sells it at a fire sale price . Understand that the sale is not done in secret ; in Biblical villages land was sold in the village gate where everyone could hear the transaction for themselves . You must also understand that the boy cannot sell this property without the father 's approval - and maybe his insistence . It is humiliating for him . The village neighbors see exactly what is happening , and they know what the boy is doing to their long - time friend . They do not like it . They also understand that land is something that families hold in trust from generation to generation . This fire sale strikes at the heart of the village solidarity and order that they all count on . As much as the boy is shunning his father , he is also shunning the village which has raised him . He is walking away from his friends who expected to know him and expected to help him raise children of his own . This is humiliating for the whole village . 4 . Dividing farm land is not easy . Taking the younger boy 's portion and cutting it out of the farm will place the remaining farm operation at risk . That land down by the creek which was perfect for grazing the cattle - gone . The vineyard that provided income - sold . The remaining farming operation must be reorganized and watched closely . 5 . So , this is the prodigal . He willingly humiliates his father and the entire village . He turns his stake in their lives to cash and leaves town . He has said , " I 'm through with you and everything you represent . I will never be back . " And the village , in solidarity with the humiliated father , is thinking , " Good riddance . " So , as you read the story of the prodigal son , I caution you not to get to attached to the younger son . He does permanent damage to his family and his village ; he is not the character you want to claim for yourself . II . Adam Hamilton in his study on stewardship and money , titled : Enough , takes this moment to look back at the Prodigal Son . He sees in the prodigal the modern tendency to live for the moment . The prodigal also demonstrates the life that is too busy with consumption to build anything or to work for anything . 2 . Society and the constant advertizing around us tell us that our life - purpose is to consume . Analysts tells us that one of the reasons for the current Great Recession is that Americans have been scared into saving more and spending less . What is it that comedian Rodney Dangerfield famously said ? " I resemble that remark . " Do we resemble this description of Americans squandering and wasting money ? Maybe we haven 't lost the family land grant single - handedly ; but maybe we have spent so much on nothing that we cannot do some other , substantial things that require money . III . So , what is our purpose as human beings and as Christians ? While the ads that surround us tell us that our purpose is to consume , the Bible tells us that our life purpose is to love God and to love our neighbors as ourselves . Our money and possessions should be devoted to helping us fulfill this calling . 12 : 1 Now the LORD said to Abram , " Go from your country and your kindred and your father 's house to the land that I will show you . 2 I will make of you a great nation , and I will bless you , and make your name great , so that you will be a blessing . 3 I will bless those who bless you , and the one who curses you I will curse ; and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed " ( Gen 12 . 1 - 3 ) . Imagine God saying to you and to me : " I will bless you . . . so that you will be a blessing . " Our purpose in life is not our own pleasure , as the prodigal son thought . The playwright George Bernard Shaw said it this way in the * * Epistle Dedicatory * * in the * * Man and Superman * * : Josh McDowell tells about an executive " headhunter " who recruits corporate executives for large firms . This headhunter once told McDowell that when he interviews an executive , he likes to disarm him . " I offer him a drink , " said the headhunter , " take off my coat , undo my tie , throw up my feet and talk about baseball , football , family , whatever , until he 's all relaxed . Then , when I think I 've got him relaxed , I lean over , look him square in the eye and say , ' What 's your purpose in life ? ' It 's amazing how top executives fall apart at that question . " Then he told about interviewing one fellow recently . He had him all disarmed , had his feet up on his desk , talking about football . Then the headhunter leaned over and said , " What 's your purpose in life , Bob ? " And the executive said , without blinking an eye , " To go to heaven and take as many people with me as I can . " " For the first time in my career , " said the headhunter , " I was speechless . " No wonder . He had encountered someone who was prepared . He was ready . His purpose , " To go to heaven and take as many people with me as I can . " ( 4 ) . A motivational speaker once said there are two kinds of people in this world : those who say * whatever * and those who say , * whatever it takes * . * Whatever * is the response of the shrug . It 's a who cares ? attitude , one of indifference and apathy . * Whatever it takes * is the response of the committed . It 's a can do attitude that refuses to give up or give in . Think about those two responses when it comes to the Church 's mission . Jesus said to love your neighbor . * Whatever * . Jesus said to go and make disciples of all people . * Whatever * . Jesus said there is more rejoicing over one sinner who is found than 99 that stayed within the fold . * Whatever * . Now , lets change that response to * Whatever it takes * . Jesus said to love your neighbor . * Whatever it takes * . Jesus said to go and make disciples of all people . * Whatever it takes * . Jesus said there is more rejoicing over one sinner who is found than 99 that stayed within the fold . * Whatever it takes * . Are you and I , like Paul , willing to do * whatever it takes * to win the world to Christ ? ( 5 ) . [ CONCL ] Now , let 's get practical . In Adam Hamilton 's study , * Enough * , he is applying these principles to the way we use our money and resources . Getting practical means applying the great principles and purposes of our lives to the way we use our money and resources . He offers several practical steps : + Set goals . What do we want to accomplish in the coming year , in the coming five years ? How can we use our money to reach that goal ? + Focus on God 's purpose for your life . Life does not grow until it is stretched . Choose God 's great purposes for your life . Let God 's purposes stretch you and call out your very best . On the outskirts of a small town , there was a big , old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence . One day , two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree , out of sight , and began dividing the nuts . " One for you , one for me . One for you , one for me , " said one boy . A couple of them dropped and rolled down toward the fence . Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle . As he passed , he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery . He slowed down to investigate . Sure enough , he heard , " One for you , one for me . One for you , one for me . " He just knew what it was , so he jumped back on his bike and rode off . Now just around the bend he met an old man with a cane , hobbling along . " Come here quick , " said the boy , " you won 't believe what I heard ! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls . " The man said , " Beat it kid , can 't you see it 's hard for me to walk ? " When the boy insisted though , the man hobbled to the cemetery . Standing by the fence they heard , " One for you , one for me . One for you , one for me . . . " The old man whispered , " Boy , you 've been tellin ' the truth . Let 's see if we can see the Lord . " Shaking with fear , they peered through the fence yet were still unable to see anything . The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord . At last they heard , " One for you , one for me . That 's all . * Now let 's go get those nuts by the fence and we 'll be done . " * In terror , the old man and the boy looked at each other , then took off a - running . What are we afraid of in America today ? I believe that the overall atmosphere of this nation is fear . + Fear of terrorism , + fear of the nation 's long economic recession , + fear about what will happen if the wrong people get elected ; An old Jewish saying tells us that difference between being smart and being wise is that the person who is smart knows how to get out of a situation which the wise person would never have gotten into in the first place . As the sky falls around us , what we 've learned is that America , for all its SMARTS , lacks WISDOM , that is , the ability to see what lies ahead and how to proceed after hitting a fork in the road . And so we worry that even our smarts may not extricate us from hole we 're in . It is a time of fear , and so we worry . In such a time as this , do we have any word from God ? Lord God , I hope so . [ ABC - TV ] In 2007 , ABC - TV presented a special by John Stossel with the title : " Scared Stiff : Worry in America . " It raised the question : " Are We Scaring Ourselves to Death ? " Have we created an atmosphere of fear which is hurting our health - as - people and our heart - as - Americans ? There 's a lot to be scared about . The media hit us with endless warnings : terrorism , swine flu , vicious crime , cancer , global warming and much more . * * But are all worries created equal ? * * It turns out that what we worry about is often different from what 's most likely to hurt us . * Terrorism : * How big is the risk ? The program looked at what the American Enterprise Institute calls " terror porn " : billions of dollars wasted in the name of safety , and what you could call the F . I . C . , or the * " Fear Industrial Complex " * : politicians , lawyers , activists and media , who have an incentive to keep us scared . They stay in business by spreading fear . Skeptics , like John Mueller , author of " Overblown : How Politicians and the Terrorism Industry Inflate National Security Threats , " say the threat is overblown , and Americans are less likely to be killed by an international terrorist than by driving into a deer . * Kidnaping and Molestation * : C . N . N . 's " Nancy Grace " and Dateline 's " Predator " programs earn high ratings by focusing on molestation and kidnaping . The Center for Missing and Exploited Children runs powerful public service announcements about abducted kids . But what damage is done by the fear they spread ? Kids are much more frightened about kidnaping than they are about the other risks that are * more * likely to hurt them . * Bike helmet laws * : Countries that require bicyclists to wear helmets find that fewer people ride , possibly making us fatter . And it 's not clear that the mandatory helmets result in fewer injuries . And when I started wearing a helmet , I took more risks - - I used to ride in Knoxville City traffic right down Broadway from Fountain City into town . But worse yet , sometimes I think that we believe ourselves to be better persons because we are so focused on our worries . What do you mean that you have no worries ? Aren 't you taking life seriously ? Didn 't you see the warning ? People who are not as fearful as we are should be taught to be afraid . In the very earliest days of the settlement of Arizona , the Archbishop of Los Angeles sent a missionary out to Phoenix to try to establish a church there . After two years , the priest returned to tell the archbishop that he could not establish a congregation in Phoenix . " Why not ? " asked the Bishop . " Are there no people there ? " " Well , yes , there are people there , " said the priest . But those who live there during the winter have no need of heaven and those who live in Arizona during the summer have no fear of hell . " ( 2 ) II . Think about it : If that priest was to look at America today , how would he evaluate our spiritual situation ? Adam Hamilton , in his study , Enough , points to one area : Our current economic crisis is not merely the result of bad policies of the housing and banking industries . Rather , they are born of a spiritual crisis . + People have gotten into economic trouble because we reached for more houses and cars and stuff than we could possibly pay for . The spiritual term for this is * pride * . What has happened to our capacity to look at all that we already have and be satisfied ? Or to look at the family and blessings we enjoy daily and give thanks for all the blessings God has bestowed upon us ? What has happened to our ability to stand with other Americans and give thanks for all the blessings God has poured out in such abundance upon this nation ? We become too busy getting the next one to give thanks for God 's blessings and care . We are too busy getting more . It is a spiritual crisis . [ B . ] It is a spiritual problem when the fact that we have all the houses and cars and stuff that we can handle does not lead us to the conclusion that we have ENOUGH . Instead of gratitude , we panic that we will not be able to buy the next one . And in our panic , we assume the reasons we cannot handle more are due to external threats which someone should do something about . But , the Bible teaches us that we should not be watching constantly for alligators ( or terrorists , or Stock Market crashes , or oil spills ) ; the Bible teaches us that we should be watching for the signs that God is among us . God wants us to live in trust , not in fear . The Bible was written in the midst of all the same worries that beset us now . Wars are nothing new . Aggression is not new . Disease is not new . Hard economic times are not new . In the middle of the same kinds of worries that trouble us , the Bible was written by people of faith who chose faith instead of fear . Have you seen the TV commercial that shows a father talking to his little girl about the responsibilities of driving ? She looks like she is not more than five years old . As the commercial continues , she is transformed into a 16 or 17 year old young lady - obviously ready for her first solo drive . There are transitional moments in life that confirm something tremendous has taken place . These are those moments in a teenager 's life and in the lives of parents when a mom or a dad gives to their teen the keys to the car . Many of us have already experienced this . Some of you still have to experience it , but , I guarantee you , it 's going to happen . It 's going to be a step of growth for you . Remember the scripture where Jesus said to the disciples : " As the Father has sent Me , so send I you . " Jesus is tossing the keys to the kingdom to His disciples . He is demonstrating that He is accepting them as His followers but Jesus is also demonstrating to them that He is entrusting to them the message of the gospel . He gives to them a great privilege . Jesus is showing them that He believes in them ( 4 ) . IV . Now , remember Psalm - 121 with which we began our worship this morning ? It is a Psalm which speaks of the confidence and peace which rests upon God 's faithfulness . 2 My help comes from the LORD , who made heaven and earth . 4 He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep . 7 The LORD will keep you from all evil ; he will keep your life . Now , I invite you to turn to Psalm 121 again and pray the Psalm we have been reading . Pray this Psalm to still the anxious fears that what we already have will not be enough . Let its confidence still your fear that you will be left behind by the latest toys or phones or cars in the stores . Let this Psalm whisper to us a reminder that it is not the stuff - we - have but faith - in - God that is the foundation of our peace . Lord , I lift up my eyes to the hills - from where will my help come ? I know and I am confident that my help comes from the LORD , who made heaven and earth . LORD , keep our going out and our coming in from this time on and forevermore . This we pray in Jesus ' name . Amen Like all great storytellers , Jesus had the ability to tell stories that address us and address our world on many levels - all at the same time . Imagine a parable as an onion , with layers of meaning - each one giving us a new insight , and each one with the power to bring us to tears . The only difference between those who listened to Jesus and us is that they probably knew the particular situation Jesus is weaving into his story : the community , the job , probably even the names . Jesus told a parable about a persistent widow who went to a Judge to plead for justice . The Judge looked at the woman , but being a man - a man of power , and a man with more important things to do - he ignored her . And the widow , having no other way to defend herself , simply went back to the Judge day after day , pleading her case , crying out for justice . She may have been powerless , but she would not be quiet about it . + Despite all the gains in women 's rights across the years , a woman without a husband is not taken as seriously as she should be ; + And any woman , accompanied by her husband , who shops for something important like a car , will find the salesperson talking her husband not to her . [ EXAMPLE ] An unmarried woman in Bible Study this week told about a fairly recent experience of going to shop for a car - a Mercury , as I recall - here in Knoxville . She drove onto the lot ; the salesman met her as she got out of her car . She had already been doing some shopping , so she told him what she was looking for . His response to her rather specific request was a question : " And , where is your husband today ? " That was a 21st Century response , not a 1st Century response . I 'm not sure how the world works in other parts of the country , but here in the South , this is still the way it is . You can work with it creatively or you can just get mad . The world is not going to change ; you choose . / / Jesus told a story that recognizes the way of this world . There was widow ( a woman with no power and no male relative to speak for her ) and there was an unjust judge ( a man with power ) . Well , the widow thought that some guy was treating her unjustly , and she came to the judge to ask for the justice that should be hers . + And the judge , who is supposed to set things right neither feared God nor cared about anybody . He had better things to worry about . In other words , the old boy was shameless . 2 . [ ABOUT JUDGES ] I know that the U . S . Supreme Court and the Tennessee Code Annotated have plenty to say about judges and their official conduct . For those who are aspiring to become judges one day , I want to point out that God offers the world a very high sense of justice and work of judgment . This is what God has to say about the work of judges . You 'll find it in 2 Chronicles 19 . 4ff : I . First , Jesus said that the widow was PERSISTENT and came back to the judge over and over to plead her cause . She kept coming back so long that , even though he did not care about her or her case , she wore him down . And he gave her the justice she sought . It is first a lesson about prayer and asking God to answer our deepest needs . According to Luke , Jesus told us that persistence in prayer is the way to ask God to give us what we need . There are many reasons God might not answer our prayers as quickly as we 'd like . Despite any delays , Jesus assures us that God does hear our prayers as surely as that Judge could not escape the widow 's pleas . And Jesus urges us not to grow weary of asking in prayer . The God who loves us will answer more surely than a sorry old judge who has " no fear of God and no respect for anyone . " II . Second layer is not so much about theology as it is about practicality : Jesus taught his disciples that the way to deal with the powerful in the world is by PERSISTENT use of the tools you have . The widow did not have anyone that she could call on to speak for her ; she was not as powerful as the opponent who was troubling her . But , she could keep doing what she could do - she could go back again and again until the Judge acted . As for the judge , he could get away with ignoring her , but apparently he could not get away with silencing her or running her off . She did not suffer in silence , and she was not going to let him suffer in her silence either . She continued persistently until he relented and gave her the justice she sought . Remember how angry people became when the Chairman of BP Oil made that " little people " comment in his statement that was supposed to be an apology to the nation ? In a meeting with President Obama in the White House , BP 's CEO Carl - Henric Svanberg , apologized for the spill , then offered a public statement of remorse to the nation afterwards . But Svanberg apology was not well received when he committed a blunder by saying : " We care about the little people . " [ CHILE ] What an incredible story of courage and persistence unfolded for the world this week at the San Jose mine in Chile . Thirty - three miners kept their composure while they waited to be contacted . Then , they stayed organized and together until their rescue this week . There is no doubt that the President of Chile played his part , and many others , from several nations , brought necessary skills and resources to the rescue operation . It became the feel - good story we can all take part in . I guess Tony Hayworth would include Chilean miners among the " little people " of the world , but what an example of courage and persistence they have given us ! So many people prayed for their safe return , and now we have the joy of seeing them safe and at home . Prayer is the stabilizing work that keeps our faith upright , that keeps us in the game , that positions us to receive from God what God wants us to have . Prayer is a practice that connects us to the power that is much greater than ourselves , a power that can fill us and change us and strengthen us and guide us . Prayer is a practice that is perfected by persistence - by disciplined determination to be in an ongoing conversation with God . In a Bible study , someone led us through an exercise in which we wrote down the qualities of the widow and then of the Judge . Just make a list in your mind or on your order of service : What are the qualities of the widow ? + persistent , + believes in justice , + respects the authority of the Judge to make the decision , Now , looking at your lists , which one of these characters is most like God ? It looks like the widow . And which is most like people ? It looks more like the Judge . Which one of them looks like any of us ? Immediately , I realized that I have been reading this parable upside down . The Judge is most like me and people of all kinds ; the widow is most like God . + Like the widow , God is persistent in calling us to live up to the faith we claim . God believes in justice , but God allows people to make their own decision about faith and faithfulness . And yet , God also stands up for God 's right to be God . IV . The last line of the story in Luke is the most challenging : " I tell you , he will quickly grant justice to them . And yet , when the Son of Man comes , will he find faith on earth ? " ( Luke 18 . 8 ) The last layer of the story is Jesus ' teaching on the character of faith . Through the story , he is teaching us what faith is . Then , he asks , " When I come again , will I find faith in you ? In the church ? In the world ? Whatever the list of propositions , we have presented faith as our willing assent to such a list . But , the definition of faith as Jesus presents it in this parable is much richer and more robust than any list of propositions . Read the parable again . What does Jesus teach us about faith through this parable ? Instead of a list to accept , faith is walking alongside God each day . [ FOOTBALL ] To borrow a football metaphor : faith is never taking your eye off that Alabama linebacker who is surely coming . When the ball is snapped , you 'd better not be tying your shoelaces . When Jesus comes , will he find faith in us ? In our church ? In our world ? Technically , every Sunday is Children 's Sunday , but last week we celebrated their ministry among us in a very special way . Our children 's choirs offered the music , children served as greeters , liturgists , and ushers . They led the " Moments with all God 's Children , " and even led the " Prayers of the People . " We are blessed by our children every week at Church Street , if you could not be among us , you missed an awesome day of worship . This sermon is dedicated to our children and those with a child 's heart for God 's great world . - - - - - - - - - - - " Bullies , Boys , and Grace " Rev . Sarah VarnellLuke 19 : 1 - 10 " Zaccheaus was a wee little man , and a wee little man was he . . . " be honest , as soon as the Gospel story was read and you heard the name Zaccheaus , you thought the same thing . This story takes us back to out childhood when learning bible stories meant songs , games , coloring pages , and obvious life application . As adults we tell ourselves , it 's not as complicated for children . . . without the worries of adulthood , to understand why Jesus says and does what he says and does . Sometimes , children know what is right , they just choose outright not to apply it to their lives , or in a moment of anger at family , friend , or peer they conveniently forget their convictions . . . or they get too tired or cranky or annoyed to worry about how it affects others . Somewhere in there I stopped talking about children and started addressing the condition and struggles of all God 's people . [ prayer ] Way back in my memory vault of Children 's Church , one of the many times we heard the story of Zaccheaus , my class was called on to perform a skit . So , we made a plan - we needed someone to play Jesus , a few people to be disciples , a Zaccheaus , a bunch of tall people to be the crowd , a sycamore tree , and some other objects for the scenery on the streets of Jericho . One kid always played Jesus , so he was assigned the part of Jesus , and the shortest kid in our group was assigned the role of Zaccheaus . I wasn 't much taller than Mark to be in the crowd , nor waPosted by
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1 . I love my cats . Willie and Baxter , who have been with us for just over a year now ( we adopted them from Barn Cat Buddies ) , have brought me such happiness . The boys adore them . And do you know what ? I haven 't had a single mouse in my minivan since we got them . And it 's mice season , folks . Two years ago I caught NINE mice in my minivan ( which , while it made for excellent blogging material , made me rather grumpy ) . Yes , I might be a crazy cat lady ( contained only because Paul won 't let me have any cute orange kittens right now ) . But I don 't care - I just love my cats . 2 . I don 't allow both Baxter and Willie to sleep in the bed on the same night , because they play fight at 3 am . So I make them take turns , because that 's only fair . However , Baxter is a big baby on the nights he has to sleep in the living room , and he hides under the bed . His fat black booty sticks out , though , so we have no trouble catching him . It makes Paul and I laugh every time . Poor Baxter . 3 . The first cat - love of my life was my grandparents ' cat , Snuffy . He was a Siamese , and I adored him . 4 . I 'm allergic to cats . Really . But I build up a tolerance to them . Some cats bother me more than others . Willie and Baxter don 't bother me too much , but when we had Disco , if I petted him for a really long time I would get hives on my hands and my eyes would start itching and burning . 5 . Cort is allergic to cats , too , but he loves them just as much as me . He has a tolerance built up , and generally does alright so long as he doesn 't rub his face in their fur . Baxter and Willie like Cort too - they seem to know that even though he 's a little wild four year old , he 's always gentle with them . Linked with Random Friday at A Rural Journal . 33 When I was 13 or so , I asked for a keyboard for Christmas . I invested my allowance in a number of books for my keyboard , and spent hours in my room learning the notes . I placed cheat stickers on the keys of my Yamaha , so that if I got lost I could look down and find my place . Oh how I wanted my hands to speed over the keys . Over and over I practiced the songs and tried to improve . My Mom recently brought the keyboard to the house for the boys . It 's the exact model that I had - she said she found it in my grandmother 's basement . I don 't think it is my old one ( after all , there is no residual sticker residue on the keys ) but it is the same . The Yamaha can play one song on its own . Billy Joel 's Just the Way You Are . It plays it with different instruments , demonstrating all the wonders the keyboard can do . The refrain is familiar in my mind - musical paths untraveled for many years , but still worn to a groove in my mind . Yes , readers , this keyboard has been quite the hit with the boys . It 's seen a few fights in the past week . And some happy banging and singing too . I confess that I don 't mind the memories . The twins have been all about Red Light , Green Light lately . They love that game . Recently , when our dog had a massive puking episode on the living room rug ( which I was HAPPILY absent for ) , the rug was removed for deep cleaning . The kids took advantage of open hard wood floors for some traffic fun . We even made our own official red light / green light from an old paint stirring stick and some construction paper . A few weeks ago , I blogged about two really neat solar trash cans in Roanoke , that I often pass on one of my running routes . I have been on the lookout for more . Recently I discovered one on the corner of Elm Avenue in Southeast , just before you head into downtown . I confess that my children thought I was very strange indeed , when I pulled over the car to take a picture of the trash can for my readers . In addition to having solar compactors in them , these trash cans will send an email to waste management when they are full . But I love them most for the historic pictures of Roanoke on their sides . This one depicts the Norfolk Southern railroad crew . On the backside ( which I couldn 't photograph , since I didn 't want to stand in the middle of 5 : 00 traffic ) it tells you a couple of nearby attractions that are in walking distance , and how long it will take to get there . Readers , have you pulled off the road to take any pictures lately ? 2 . Recently I had a really good coupon for pie , so I picked up a turtle pic with chocolate , caramel , and pecans . After serving it to the boys , they all eyed it warily , and Cort said , " Mom , where 's the turtles ? " 3 . Pierce has been fascinated by electricity since he was 3 . Lately he 's been going outside to check the electric meter and see how much we 've used . He says he is " checking the killerwatts " . 4 . We have a ghost in the master bath shower . Sometimes the shower runs for a minute or two for no reason . It happens once a week or so . I guess it must have something to do with the water pressure , but it 's pretty annoying when it happens at 2 am . 5 . All the detailed fingernail pictures on Pinterest kind of creep me out . Am I the only one who finds them disturbing ? I don 't have long fingernails , and I don 't paint them , but when I see little snowmen and grinches painted on long , curving fingernails , it makes me shudder , just a bit . No offense ! Linked with Nancy 's Random Friday at A Rural Journal . 38 I have worked with Eshakti a couple of times now , and I always enjoy reviewing their clothes . This time , as I browsed their site , my eye was drawn to a vintage floral embroidered winter skirt . It 's a skirt with a lot of volume , a banded waist , side - seam pockets , and is made from woven houndstooth , which combined with the lining make for a warm skirt . I like the neutral brown combined with the embroidered white flowers . It makes the skirt pop , but at the same time , I can wear it with a lot of different items in my closet . At Eshakti , you can customize their dresses and skirts to fit your size , shape , and style . Somehow , their clothes always strike me as being classic but also unique . You might want to check out some of their new arrivals . The sizing on this skirt ran a little small - the waist was more true to sizing before the vanity sizing took over . So if you 're on the fence about a size , you may want to order the next size up , particularly since there is no stretch to the waist . Now , two lucky readers are going to win a $ 30 gift card to Eshakti ! Open to the US and Canada . Just click on the Rafflecopter below to enter . a Rafflecopter giveaway Cort first started experiencing asthma when he was 2 1 / 2 . Since then , he 's been on a variety of different daily preventative medicines , all of them causing disturbing side effects . We finally found one that he seems to tolerate , but it isn 't 100 % when it comes to preventing his asthma symptoms . While he had a bit of a remission for a while in the late summer , he has had more frequent days where he needs the nebulizer this fall . Luckily , whenever Cort is struggling with his asthma , Reid makes sure to take extra good care of him . Recently , when we were driving to preschool one morning , Cort was having a rough time . He 'd already had a nebulizer treatment but for some reason it wasn 't helping as much as normal . As he coughed over and over again , and I debated sending him to school at all , he said in a small , sad voice , " Mom , when will I not have asthma anymore ? " There are some things that as a Mom , you just can 't fix , no matter how much your heart longs to make it better . I am thankful , though , to live in a time where we do have nebulizer machines in the home , where we can treat the asthma most of the time without having to rush to the ER . It isn 't a cure for my sweet Cort , but I 'm so thankful to have that machine when we need it . And I won 't give up hope that Cort will outgrow the majority of his asthma symptoms as he gets older , just like I did as a child . This recipe comes from my 1975 copy of For the Love of Cooking . When the holidays approach , I start thinking about pies , and trying new recipes . This is the first time I ever attempted chocolate meringue pie , and it turned out splendidly . It is a more dense and rich chocolate than your pudding based recipes . The layer of chocolate is also not as generous as pudding based recipes , but I found that since it is much richer , it was just enough . Beat egg yolks until light and lemon colored . Mix together the sugar , cornstarch , and cocoa . Add beaten egg yolks and salt to sugar mixture . Slowly blend in 1 cup of boiling water . Cook ( preferably in a double boiler - but I just used a pot and was careful not to get it too hot ) , stirring constantly , until mixture is thick . Cool . When filling has cooled , spoon into cooled , baked piecrust . Beat egg whites until they begin to stiffen ( this can take a while , be patient ) . Continue beating while adding sugar , a tablespoon at a time , until whites form stiff peaks ( if you lift the beaters out of the eggs , a white peak will form ) . Spread on top of pie and bake at 350 * for 15 minutes or until crust is brown . Needless to say , this pie didn 't last very long in our house ! Enjoy it . Well , not really . But I will say that two and a half years ago I wrote this post about how to clean up dog vomit and it still gets a lot of hits on Google . We were having a really good streak in which our border collie , Scooter , hadn 't barfed in the house since I wrote that post . But hunting season started a few weeks ago , and Scooter gets really neurotic during hunting season . Happily , I was away at a craft fair when I got the text , " Just sprayed off the living room rug in the driveway . Scooter laid out a HUGE barf . " Boy was I glad I was gone for that one . Let me show you Paul 's ingenious method for cleaning the rug though . He used one of our chicken tractors that is not in use to put the rug on . Then he was able to clean it really well using cleaning supplies and the hose on full force , and it dried in the sun . Paul isn 't always the world 's best cleaner , but I have to say I approved of his methods for tackling the dog puking episode . Great job ! 1 . Every time I drive into town , I pass this gate . It 's on the side of a gravel driveway , and it goes to nowhere . It isn 't for the driveway . Or the property . In fact , it has no connecting fencing . I suppose it 's just decoration . Almost like someone planned to have a little decorative garden there , but lost their way . 2 . On Halloween , we decided to drive to this neighborhood we 'd heard all the rural folks like to go to for trick or treating . It was CRAZY . The streets were lined with cars up and down , and kids in costume were everywhere . I wonder what the people who live there think about all us country folk coming down from the hills ? 3 . While trick or treating , Pierce went up to a house and started talking to the people there . They started cracking up . They were really laughing . Come to find out , he 'd asked them for Reeses cups , because he said his mom just loves Reeses cups . Guess I got busted ! 4 . Now that Halloween is over , the boys got to break out the turkey shirts I made them . They all look very cute . Pierce wanted to know why turkeys have the gobble hanging down from the beak . I had no idea . I told him it was for decoration . Does anyone know if it serves a purpose ? 5 . Today I 'm linking up with Friday Fences for the first time ( and , as with every Friday , with Nancy 's Random Friday ) . If this is your first time visiting my blog , welcome : - ) ) Thanks to everyone who guessed on my photobombed post last Friday . No one guessed the correct answer - which was a cow tail ! Many of you were close , though . The random winner of homemade soap was Monkeywrangler . 49 I didn 't have a ton of cravings during my pregnancies , but I can remember two I had when pregnant with the twins . The first was for buffalo chicken wings ( which is really weird , because in my ' real ' life I don 't really care for them ) and the second was for this Hot Chicken Salad . This is also weird , because it 's a recipe I hadn 't thought of in years - my mom used to make it when I was a kid . I sent her a frantic email , " Do you remember that casserole that had all the chicken and celery ? I HAVE TO HAVE IT ! Do you have the recipe ? " Sure enough , like any good mom , she not only had the recipe , but she even MADE me the casserole and brought it to my house . Yeah , she pretty much rocks . I 've been making the casserole a couple of times a year since then . It 's a great way for me to use leftover chicken , and the kids all seem to enjoy it . Ingredients : Mix and refrigerate overnight ( or for a few hours ) . Top w / one package Pepperidge Farm stuffing breadcrumbs and 1 cup grated cheese . Bake at 400 * for 25 - 30 minutes . I tend to put aluminum foil over top for the first 20 minutes , then remove it for the last ten . Enjoy ! Disclaimer : I was provided with a 6 week trial of K5 Learning for review purposes . I was not compensated in any other way for this post . All opinions are my own . I 've blogged before about how I like to supplement what my boys learn at school with additional learning activities at home . We usually do workbooks and printables , but I was intrigued when K5 Learning contacted me to see if I 'd like to do a review of their website . They provide an online reading and math program for grades kindergarten - 5th , which builds skills through independent study . K5 Learning has sections for reading , math , and spelling . There are lessons children can do , which are fun and engaging . The characters are cute and get excited when kids get a problem or game correct . Parents can also go in and give their child assignments that he or she can do when logged on . The twins are just four , and still in preschool , so they are still a little young . However , they were able to do some of the lessons - alphabet letters , numbers , and beginning sight words . Both Cort and Reid loved trying their hand at the lessons , even the ones that were too advanced for them . One helpful thing the site offers free is an assessment in reading and math . Once your child is assessed , lessons start at the appropriate grade level , and build from there , growing increasingly challenging as your child builds on skills . I had Pierce do both assessments . Pierce is in first grade , but he is in a second grade reading group at school . He is also at a second grade math level ( he has passed the end of first grade math level test , so they give him extra work at school to keep him challenged , as I didn 't want to move him up ) . It took Pierce about 30 minutes to take each assessment on the K5 Learning website . Once he finished , the results were immediately available when I logged in as the parent . The website placed him on a second grade math and a second grade reading level . So their results are consistent with the results I have received from Pierce 's school . In addition , now Pierce can go to the website and continue to build on his current skill level from home . He 's the type of kid who loves to learn , so he is excited to continue using this program . When I was eight years old , in 1983 , a book came out called Bony - Legs , by Joanna Cole . I checked it out from the library and fell in love with the tale of the evil witch that lived in a house on chicken feet . It 's a clever tale - one with a few twists involved . I was excited to find a copy at a used library book sale a couple of years ago . My boys love it as much as I did . Each year when I get out the Halloween books , this is the one they are most excited to see . When we left for a couple of weeks this summer , our dog migrated over to the neighbor 's house . I think he missed our boys , and family companionship . He and the neighbor 's dog , Bailey , became fast friends . So when our neighbors left on vacation a few weeks ago , Bailey decided to return the favor and move in to our yard . The neighbors returned , but Bailey is still spending a good part of his days at our house . I 'm happy for Scooter . Dogs need friends too . In the past , we 've always had two dogs at a time , but for some reason since we adopted Scooter from a shelter 4 years ago , we 've just had him . Scooter and Bailey , while different breeds , are both herding dogs , well - suited to the farm life . They play rough , but you can tell while watching it that they are just having fun . Bailey is really good at making monster faces . Kind of reminds me of my twins when they put on monster masks and try to scare each other . If I was Scooter , I 'd be terrified of that face , but he isn 't fooled . 2 . See the bottom left corner ? Yup , photobombed . What do you think that black streak is ? Leave a comment , and I will draw one random commenter to send one of my homemade fairy , dog or cat soaps ( winner 's choice ) . The winner doesn 't even have to have the right answer , you enter just by guessing ! Next week I 'll tell you just what the photobomb is . 3 . I don 't really like turkey . I prefer the sides at Thanksgiving , and don 't tend to even put turkey on my plate - or if I do it 's just one small bite , for the spirit of it . 5 . For those of you with children , this might interest you ( I will have a review and giveaway up in the next few weeks ) : K5 Learning has an online reading and math program for kindergarten to grade 5 students . I 've been given a 6 week free trial to test and write a review of their program . If you are a blogger , you may want to check out their open invitation to write an online learning review of their program . I look for little items all year round that might be just right to send to a child . I like to pick a girl each year , since I normally do all my shopping for little boys . But you know what happened this year ? My boys complained . Did they complain about sending toys to another child ? Oh no . Not at all . They complained that we were sending toys to a girl . They wanted to shop for a boy ! I guess my girl shopping days are over . Either that - or next year we are just going to have to do two boxes ! My Best Vegetarian Vegan Chili I think I 've been making this recipe longer than any in my collection . Over twenty years . I didn 't cook much as a kid , but I found this recipe in a magazine , and made it for my parents and brothers to rave reviews . It 's curious - it doesn 't seem like the sort of recipe that would 've been in Sassy or Seventeen , which are the magazines I read back then , so I must have been flipping through one of my parents ' magazines and found it . I guess you could say this was the start of my cooking adventures , and somehow I 've hung on to the magazine clipping for all these years , breaking out the recipe each fall to make this savory dish for my own family . Prepare macaroni as label directs , but don 't use salt in water . Drain and set aside . Meanwhile , in large pot over medium - high heat , cook carrots , onion , and garlic in olive oil until vegetables begin to brown . Add zucchini and yellow squash , cook until all vegetables are tender - crisp . Stir in chili powder and salt , cook 1 minute . Add tomatoes with their liquid , corn with its liquid , chilis with their liquid , tomato paste , hot pepper sauce , and 2 cups of water . Over high heat , bring to boiling . Reduce heat to low , simmer , uncovered , 20 minutes . Stir in beans and macaroni , heat through . Makes 6 main dish servings ( we typically have plenty of leftovers - it makes a lot ) . 390 calories per serving . You could easily convert this to gluten free , if needed , by omitting the pasta or using a gluten free version . I backed off some on the running this month . More than I had planned to . It 's been hard - time constraints , shorter days , an illness , and a hard time finding continued motivation for the treadmill early in the mornings on days I don 't have time to run outside . Still , I ran 108 miles this month . I also did weights a couple of times . Readers , what has you lifting your arms up in joy lately ? Another shot of the huge red barn at the Jeter Farm pumpkin patch . You can just see the twins on the tractor . I was going to link with Barn Charm Monday , but it seems it is no more . Sad , isn 't it , when blogs dissolve . I still have blogs from several years ago that I miss , and wonder how their families are doing . 34 1 . Reid is tricky to photograph . He 's a little camera shy . Also , he fake smiles in a grimace - with just his bottom teeth . We have a lot of staged family photos where Reidy has a little grimace . It 's much easier if I can sneak a shot when he doesn 't know it . Like below , taken at the pumpkin patch . 2 . I 'm taking on a new client with my part time job . Supposedly it will only be an extra 3 hours a week ( as other people will be doing the other hours ) , but I 'm still distressed over how to fit it all in , as I already feel overwhelmed on a daily basis . But this is a person who truly needs help , and after hearing her story , I felt it was an opportunity for me to make a significant difference in someone 's life who has hit rock bottom . 3 . I 'm such a softie when it comes to animals or people in distress . I 'm not in a position to do much to help financially , but I 'm always open to helping with my time and effort . 4 . I also have a weakness for orange fluffy kittens . 5 . I think my husband may live in fear that people will randomly start dropping orange fluffy kittens in our yard . He knows I could never resist them . I would have 50 if he 'd let me . Sadly , we have no orange fluffy kittens ( or cats ) right now amongst our three adult cats . Michaele is killing me lately with her adorable orange fluffy kitten blog posts ! If she weren 't so far away , I 'd be over there now getting some orange kitten love . All images and writing on this site are property of Two Bears Farm unless otherwise stated . Please do not copy any posting or photo from this blog without permission . You may only use a photo if you link back to that particular post with a credit to Two Bears Farm . Thank you !
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A BIG thanks to Dr . Johnson and staff ! Where do I start ? From my heart , body , and soul ! My wonderful son told me about Dr . Johnson when we moved up from Florida six years ago and started treatments of adjustments . I have been going to chiropractic all my life with my children , but I have never been to a more concerned , thorough , understanding , and good humored one like Dr . Johnson . Besides adjustments for my many needs , I 'm also on the nutritional program which was added approximately three months ago . The difference has been dramatically changing for the best ! I 'm using all gluten - free products . Some from his office and some from local grocery stores , which is becoming more available all the time . When I enter Dr . Johnson 's office , everyone has a wonderful smile with a happy , peaceful atmosphere all the time , which is once a week for now ! I have had many medical problems and issues for a very long time , but they are just about all gone thanks to Dr . Johnson . I also will continue the program because I feel so much better ! I 've lost weight , going from a size 14 to a size 10 . If you want to feel like a " new " person , I strongly suggest for you to do the whole program to get all the wonderful benefits . You won 't regret it ! I wish there was a before and after picture of myself , but my body tells me all I need to know . So in closing , my many thanks to Dr . J and his wonderful staff ! And that 's from my heart , body , and soul . This letter is from the new me ! ! " I have always been a very active person until I started having a problem with my neck . I have been coming to Dr . Johnson for about 7 to 8 years for lower back problems which has been kept under control by using the Cox table and regular manipulation . However , about a year ago , I started having problems with my neck and shoulder and ended up getting an MRI in which I found out that I had 2 bulging discs and 3 herniated discs . This has caused me so much pain that it hurt me to drive . I had to stop playing tennis , I stopped walking , I found that I was sleeping a lot and I was just lying in bed with no relief . I couldn 't even lay on regular bed pillows as it would hurt to lay on them . Then , I started getting migraine headaches . I decided I needed some help so I started getting treated with physical therapy . The physical therapist gave me some nice massages , and got me to move a little better by stretching my cramped muscles , but , it did not get me out of pain . So , as soon as I found out that Dr . Johnson got this new Non - surgical Spinal Decompression table , I just had to try it to see if it would relieve my pain . It did and it was a miracle ! The Cox table gave me relief for only a couple of days but with Dr . Johnson 's Non - Surgical Spinal Decompression table , I can go for months without pain . I just had 8 treatments over a couple of months and it really got me moving again ; I started walking again and I feel so great that playing tennis is just around the corner again . I think if I was just doing the Cox table it would have been a much slower recovery for me . With Dr . Johnson 's Non - Surgical Spinal Decompression table , my results are maximized and my recovery is fast . Thank you Dr . Johnson for introducing me to the Non - Surgical Spinal Decompression table , it is wonderful and amazing ! " I became a patient at the Wellness Center in the year 2000 . My daughter , who is also a patient , highly recommended I see Dr . Johnson since I was having indigestion problems . After a thorough exam in his office , results showed I needed treatment for my gall bladder . I followed the treatment plan using supplements Dr . J . prescribed , and after about two weeks I began to feel much better . Also a bone density scan in 2003 showed osteoporosis . My physician put me on Fosamax . I had taken the medication for two years and then read news reports it was linked to bone damage so stopped using it . I started taking Dr . Johnson 's supplement . It apparently has helped because in September 2011 my bone density scan results showed a much greater improvement . Also , Life Line Screening test results in 2009 showed a build - up of plaque in my Carotid Artery Dr . Johnson 's supplements also helped this problem because in May , 2011 testing results were normal . My daughter and I are grateful to Dr . Johnson for keeping us healthy throughout all of these years . You are the best , Dr . Johnson . Thank you so much . - Anne St Pierre " I 've had lower back pain for many years . I could not sit or stand for too long . Even upon getting out of bed in the morning , I would wake up with severe pain in my lower back . I could not watch TV for too long as I constantly had to get up or move around as the pain would get worse the longer I sat down . And , then the pain would get worse the longer I would stand also . So , either way , the pain kept attacking me and it got to the point where I knew I needed help . I was tired of watching TV with pillows stuffed behind my back . Being an active person , my lower back pain would get in the way of my exercise regimes too . I then decided one day that I wanted to stop this pain . I came to Dr . Johnson in June of 2008 and Dr . Johnson suggested I try this Spinal Decompression Table . So , I did . Within only 3 sessions of using Dr . Johnson 's Spinal Decompression Table , I already felt relief from my lower back pain and the pain started to go away within a week ! I was able to stand up longer and to sit for longer periods of time without my lower back pain interfering . I feel like the Spinal Decompression Table has gotten my life back as I am experiencing much more comfort in my life from the pain relief I am experiencing by using the Spinal Decompression Table . I have been to other Chiropractors and I have gotten some lower back pain relief from their adjustments but when I came to Dr . Johnson , he went beyond adjustments . He had the Spinal Decompression Table which provided pain relief like no other . Since Christmas is a time for giving to those who mean so much to us , I want to give you my heartfelt thanks for your excellent chiropractic care these past twenty years or so . There is no doubt that you are the reason for my continued good health . Your most recent and what I consider the best advice you have ever given me is to try a gluten free diet . That was in September of 2OlO and after only two weeks , I noticed a big improvement . I had more energy , my brain fog diminished , the pain in my legs during the night was gone and my digestive problems improved greatly . It wasn 't long after that I started losing weight , which was a nice bonus . I have lost 20 pounds gradually and have kept it off One of the best things that I have experienced going gluten free is my new found love of reading . I have never been able to get much out of a book because my mind was always wandering and l couldn 't concentrate . Now Jam at the library every week . I have read at least 30 books since I started eating gluten free foods . My wife Janet developed a severe case of vertigo causing her severe dizziness in the prone position . Janet went to her internist and after several tests she was given Antivert with the hope that it would go away in time . It did not go away . Janet then sought treatment from Dr . Johnson at Chiropractic & Nutrition Wellness Center . With no prescriptions and three treatments the vertigo was gone and has not returned . Her internist was also impressed with the results . I saw an ad in the paper claiming there was a doctor who could help with fibromyalgia , which I was previously diagnosed with . When I first came in I was skeptical , but in about three weeks I noticed a lot of pain gone from my arms and all over my body . In another three weeks much of the pain I felt in my legs was gone , and then all the pain from fibromyalgia disappeared . I can actually say I have no pain from fibromyalgia at all . I have always had dry eyes and had to wear sunglasses , sometimes even in the house . In the past 2 weeks I have not had to wear sunglasses . My eyes are not dry anymore and I don 't have to use Restasis ® like I have for the last 5 years . I used to wake up throughout the night from pain , and now I can sleep all night . I have had so many benefits from this program in only a short time ! " In August of 2007 , I had a bone density scan as recommended by my MD . The bone density tests of the spine showed osteoporosis and the bone density levels of the wrist were close to osteopenia . My MD prescribed Fossamax , as well as recommending nutritional supplements and exercise . I did not want to take Fossamax due to its side effects but I did start taking magnesium , calcium and vitamin D . After consulting with Dr . Karl Johnson about my condition , he informed me of the benefits of whole - body vibration in building bone . I started WAVE therapy in November , 2007 , using the machine three times a week for four months . My follow - up bone scan showed an increase in the density of the spine of 1 . 9 % . This is now just osteopenia , and not osteoporosis . The wrist bone scan is now normal density . Other benefits that I have noticed from using the WAVE are : I have more energy , I can touch my toes ( which I could not even do as a child ) , and I have firmed up all over my body . I will be continuing on with this type of exercise , as I love the results . " I have been seeing a chiropractor ( not Dr . Karl ) for four years for herniated and degenerative discs in my back / neck area . My doctor referred me to physical therapy last summer ( 2005 ) . While there , one of the machines kept malfunctioning ( where the head part would stick and not slide back and forth ) while the body kept sliding . I began experiencing dizziness . I had dizziness when standing , and even when I was lying in bed and turned my head ever so slightly , the room would begin to spin . I am a new patient of Dr . Karl and when I mentioned this problem to him , he knew right away what to do . He adjusted my occiput . The dizziness has completely disappeared . I feel like a new person thanks to Dr . Karl . ( By the way , I did go to my appointment with the ENT and he told me there was nothing wrong with my inner ear or hearing ; and if I experienced dizziness again , to make another appointment with him . ) I was experiencing vertigo . I was having trouble standing and functioning . My stomach was terribly upset . So I called Dr . Johnson and I came in for an appointment . He adjusted me and then he hooked me up to oxygen and at the same time that I was getting the oxygen treatment I was also doing a pedaling motion with my arms using an upper body ergometer for ten minutes . When I got done with this 10 minute I felt immediately better after and I felt more stable . I was able to walk out of Dr . Johnson 's office and not feel any vertigo . After about two hours all the vertigo had gone from my body and I felt wonderful . For quite a while I 've suffered from Fibromyalgia and hyperthyroidism . I was tired and in pain all the time . I 'd go to work , come home , fix dinner , and go to bed by 8 : 00 pm . My medical doctor had me on all kinds of drugs . And nothing worked . Now I can work on my feet all day in a manufacturing facility , then go home , fix dinner and still have enough energy to work in the yard . I 've been dragging logs to the fire pit and cutting grass as well as bike riding . My thyroid is coming down , too . I really feel so much better . Thanks , Dr . Johnson . When I went to the MD , he only gave me drugs , which I didn 't want to take . He also told me to take Tylenol for the headaches . " My friend Mary Ann goes to Dr . Johnson and suggested I see him , that he could help me . My first visit was very good . Everything was explained and the staff was quite helpful . Within a short time , my dizziness was gone . I also noticed that I had no more pressure in the back of my neck - another problem I had been having for some time . My headaches aren 't so severe any more ; but I 'm under a lot of stress right now so I 'm pretty tense . " I 'm starting the nutrition counseling this week ; and with the success I 've had so far , I 'm looking forward to much more . Thanks , Dr . J . " My story begins over 15 years ago when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia at the age of 28 . My symptoms started out gradual and then worsened in a short time … In the last few weeks , I have experienced huge leaps in my health ! ! I can go days now without ever having to nap in the middle of the day ! My symptoms started out gradual and then worsened in a short time . I thought I had arthritis and when those tests came back negative ; my doctor started testing me for lupus and MS . Finally I went to a specialist who told me I had fibromyalgia . Years ago , there was not much known about this illness or the causes . My treatment for the next 14 years centered on treating the symptoms . I spent 7 years on anti - depressants and went faithfully to a chiropractor . I lived on Tylenol when I had flare ups and spent many years being fatigued and in much pain . Exercise was out of the question even though my doctor would tell me it would help . If I tried anything even walking , I would hurt for days and not want to get off of the couch . I would eat sweets for breakfast to give me an energy boost because most days I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a truck . I would continue that pattern through out the day . Craving sweets and eating them for the quick energy they provided . Being a mom of 3 small children , I spent my days doing the best I could to take care of them and I always took a nap when they did just so I could make it through the day . Very few of my friends knew what I was going through because I kept it to myself . I would put on a happy face when I was with them . When I felt really bad , I would just stay home and be extremely depressed and not want to be around anyone not even my family . I kept praying for a miracle ! ! ! My fatigue had gotten so bad that I would get up at 7 am to get my kids off to school and need to take a 2 - 3 hour nap by noon to be ready for them when they got home from school . Life had become a vicious cycle for me ! ! A year ago , I was visiting at someone 's home and heard a gal talk about her fatigue and how this doctor had helped her . I had been praying for a new doctor that might be able to help me so I began to ask her all kinds of questions . I was intrigued by her answers and that her doctor used natural supplements to help her fatigue . I got Dr Johnson 's number and made my appointment . At first , I was really skeptical of the whole idea of NAET testing . It sounded weird and even though Dr . Johnson explained it well I could not see how something so simple could help me but I was desperate and truly felt God had lead him to me so I paid for my first 12 appointments . After my first appointment , he recommended supplements . In my mind I had a made a commitment to give this a real try , so I bought everything and began my regimen just like he said . By day 3 my energy went through the roof and I was amazed ! ! ! Both my husband and I could not believe the difference nor did we believe a supplement that my body was lacking could help like that ! ! ! So my healing journey began and it has been a great adventure . I read the book : Say Goodbye to Illness and now have recommended it to my friends . I faithfully take my supplements and stick by a restricted diet when needed and do my home treatments ! ! I am making an investment into my health and my future ! ! At the end of my first year I debated if I should continue but when Dr Johnson said he could get me 60 % better , I was in ! ! ! I have decided I can not put a price tag on my health nor do I think you should either . I have grown to trust Dr Johnson and his wonderful staff ! ! I call him my Miracle Man and tell everyone who will listen about him and the results I have received ! ! I do want to say that in my year 's journey with Dr Johnson I have had ups and downs . I have had weeks where I felt great and other weeks where I didn 't . I would think at times this was not working and then he would explain to me again how healing works and that the ups and downs are part of the process . I have come to embrace that and realize my journey to health is like peeling an onion , I go layer by layer to get to the real juicy part ! ! ! In the last few weeks , I have experienced huge leaps in my health ! ! I can go days now without ever having to nap in the middle of the day ! This winter , I skied with my husband for the first time in 15 years and had a blast and no muscle achiness afterwards ! ! ! I recently stood for 10 hours a day for 3 days at a health expo with my company and did wonderful ! ! ! Even my friend I was with was amazed at my stamina and saw a difference from an expo I had done with her 6 months earlier . I have started an exercise program for the first time in years and enjoy the benefit of increased energy not achiness ! ! ! I can take my dog for long walks again and feel great afterwards ! ! ! I don 't think I truly realized how sick I was for so many years . I was in survival mode and that is not the way to spend your life ! ! At 43 , I feel the best I have felt in years ! ! ! My family sees the difference in me and so do my friends ! ! I don 't have to put on a happy face anymore because now I wear one most everyday ! ! I am grateful to God for leading me to Dr Johnson and I am grateful to Dr Johnson for his dedication to his patients and practice . Thank you Dr Johnson for changing my health and most importantly for changing the course of my life ! ! Dr . Johnson told me that I had a heavy metal build up in my system . I took supplements and noticed a difference within a month . I felt more refreshed and it was easier to concentrate . But it wasn 't until I combined the nutrition with the chiropractic that I really noticed a difference . After my first adjustment , it was like euphoria . My vertigo cleared up and I could turn my head . Before the adjustments , I couldn 't turn my head around in the car to see my children in the back seat . Also , I couldn 't look up . Now I can do both . I have more flexibility in my neck and no more headaches . In late 2005 , I hurt my back at work . I went to my medical doctor who told me to take a Medrol Dosepak for inflammatory and muscle strain and that I would be fine in 3 days . Well that did not happen ! As time went on I saw several doctors and took many medications . I had Epidural , Facet Joint and Prolotherpy shots . None of these helped . I then tried several types of therapy , including ; physical , aquatic , chiropractic , and acupuncture . The chiropractor sent me to a surgeon who said he couldn 't help me because the pain was in so many levels and he sent me back to the chiropractor . Sometimes I felt like a yo - yo ! I tried a deep massage therapist who , after several visits thought she was not helping me . She asked me if I had heard of Fibromyalgia . I hadn 't and began research . I told her at first that it didn 't sound like me . My symptoms included , low back pain , migraine headaches , dizziness , nausea , fatigue , lack of sleep due to pain , and the left side was numb and weak . I could not stand , walk , sit , or drive . I did not leave my house and became extremely depressed . After seeing the word Fibromyalgia in many articles , I saw Doctor Johnson 's ad . I immediately went to the website and was sent a lot of useful information . I decided that I needed to give this a try . I began working with Dr . Johnson on April 18 , 2007 . After having therapies for several weeks , my migraines , dizziness , and nausea are gone . Now when we get my back better , I will feel like my old self again . I am once again driving , walking a little more and sleeping over an hour at a time ! I have also lost 20 pounds following the blood type eating program . A friend had told me that I looked bad - - like the life was sucked out of me ! I 've seen some of my friends recently and they told me that I sound and look better . I didn 't realize just how terrible I looked . Fibromyalgia can destroy one 's life . Notice : Dr . Karl R . O . S . Johnson , DC , DNMSc , BCIM , FICPA , FIFHI is state licensed by the chiropractic board in Michigan to provide conventional chiropractic health care services and is also certified by the International Association of NeuroMetabolic Professionals to provide natural health services and therapies . The services provided to clients are intended to improve the adaptive physiology of the client through nutritional , exercise , lifestyle and physiological education , information , recommendations , and training . Conventional chiropractic and neurometabolic services are completely separate services and each is provided in strict compliance with the rules and regulations set forth by the separate agencies . If you wish to receive natural health services you must first sign a Client Services Agreement .
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I never want to come across as an expert or authority on anything other than my own life and my own experience , and even with those two things I 'm rarely either . It 's the normal circumstance of being too close to something to be objective . I try to be honest about how many questions I have about life and how little I recognize about my own . I like to think this is fairly universal but that 's probably me wishing I 'm in good company when it comes to a lack of objectivity about my life . There are many common threads in life that I relate to : self doubt , insecurity , and confusion come to mind first . I 'm human and I embrace that I am not nor will I ever be perfect . But I also try I strive for other things : curiosity , open mindedness , objectivity and an eager willingness to learn and to change . I 've always said I 'm never happier than when I have a test to study for . Not because I enjoy homework but because I want to be challenged to expand my knowledge base and become a fuller , more well rounded person . There are so many things in life that I dearly love , I just don 't know it yet because I haven 't made it around to them yet . I recognize that for as fantastic as my life has been , it 's but a small fraction of what is out there for experience and existence . I want to be exposed to and appreciate as much as possible for as long as I have during this go round on earth . I try very hard to remember that life is impartial , and this is something I struggle with . Things happen , circumstances change . Everything is in a constant state of flux . And what happens does so with no regard for anything or anyone . What happens is neutral , and that 's difficult to recognize . Whether we view something as positive or negative depends solely upon our viewpoint and how we interpret events . A very basic example is what seems like the end for the caterpillar is the beginning for the butterfly . My collective personal experience and professional exposure to a variety of things does give me a deeper knowledge of certain circumstances that are potentially scary and / or not common to the " average " person . How many people were taking care of a stage IV pressure ulcer on their dad 's hip at age 14 ? Who else knows how to play cats cradle by themselves with their feet ? I spent quite a while talking with someone yesterday who found themselves faced with being accused of being an unfit parent . The objective fact that they aren 't was almost completely lost to their emotional trauma of the accusation and the subsequent fallout because of this . Their natural and gut reaction is to do anything and everything they can do to defend themselves and prove that the accusation is false . How many times have each of us at one point or another been called something that isn 't true ? You 're untalented . You 're irresponsible . You 're stupid . You 're ugly . You 're shallow . You 're lazy . You 're a liar . You 're a cheat . You 're a horrible child / sibling / friend / parent . You 're unqualified for X / Y / Z . How do we react to it when someone else throws a pile of mud and shit on our doorstep ? Of course our natural inclination is to immediately clean up the mess and to prove it 's not our garbage . But let me ask : who are we trying to prove that to ? Usually it 's to anyone and everyone who may have seen the pile of trash and heard the negative thing about ourselves . And generally if we are taking the time and effort to prove otherwise , it 's because the allegation simply ISN ' T TRUE . How could we , why should we put up with this shit ? We don 't deserve to be treated like garbage and we shouldn 't be used as a dumping ground . It 's wrong , and who the hell does that person ( s ) think they are , how could they have the unmitigated gall to make such a claim ? It 's simply not fair . The reality is that anyone can think or do or say whatever they want about us . We have NO control over that . It sucks , but we can only control our part of the equation . The only thing in our lives we have actual control over is ourselves ; how we think , what we say , how we act . Nobody else , just us . My viewpoint is that when someone makes a claim about us , at that point everything else is on that person . We keep on living our own life as we have been . If our house is in order and our yard is picked up , we keep on washing the dishes each night after supper , cutting the grass , and picking the dog shit up off the lawn . And we can lose sleep and gnash our teeth and grind our wheels over whatever it is , but this won 't change anything . Anyone has the right to think whatever they want to about us , be it from crack whore to astronaut . The situation changes when they share their opinion . Then it 's up to that person to prove themselves right , NOT for us to prove them wrong . Since the dawn of time people have had opinions of others , and have passed their opinions on to other people . This happens all day , every day . It won 't ever change . What is far less common is people having actual facts to back up their claim . You told my friends I 'm a whore ? I 'm fucking their boy / girlfriend ? You called me a backstabber to my friends ? You told my boss I 'm drunk on the job ? You told my parents I 'm using them for their money ? You told the church deacon the collections have been less lately because I 'm skimming from the top ? If they 're right , I wouldn 't say they 're actually " right " . If what they said actually IS , the only thing that person is now is accurate . Saying something that 's true is NOT the same thing as saying something right . If whatever this is happens to be factual , at this point you don 't have to do anything but you would be better served if you own it because either way it 's yours and how you handle it is the only thing that 's in your control . If the elephant already lives in your living room , what are you gaining by denying it 's existence ? Either way , except under very narrow circumstances , you still don 't owe anyone else anything . Don 't let anyone in life convince you otherwise . You 're not obligated to justify or defend . It 's not your job to come up with reasons why something is what it is , or get together examples of why the thing you 're accused of is crap . Your ONLY responsibility is to yourself , and then to address things with anyone who is personally and directly impacted . And this group is 99 % smaller than people try to make it seem . Something being factual doesn 't make it good or bad . The thing is just a thing ; it 's neutral . So why do we view things as negative ? I think it 's usually because for whatever reason we 're not at peace with it . We view it as being wrong for some reason . We 're confused , we feel shame , we feel guilt , we feel inferior , we feel wrong . We don 't know why / how we got where we are . For me , the deeper and more difficult question is why do I have the negative reaction ? Oh boy , that can be a really deep discussion to have with myself . Hindsight is ALWAYS clearer than forward vision . How many times have I been somewhere in my life that I eventually say to myself " how the fuck did I get here and why the hell didn 't I learn my lesson the last time ? " What I 've reluctantly accepted is that for whatever reason , I 've been where I have because I needed to be there at that time . There are life lessons I 've needed , things I had to experience . I 've almost never appreciated that at the time , and to this day there are things in my past that seriously piss me off that I have no fucking clue as to why they happened . I will say the older I get the more I appreciate that I 've not always been in a situation because it will eventually benefit me . Sometimes my lowest points in life have been a benefit to someone else , despite being a complete and total shit show for myself . This does tie in to the title , burden of proof . When someone talks shit about you , if it 's accurate so be it . The circumstances will bear that out . If it 's not something you want to talk about , you should probably consider why . In my opinion , it 's also almost NEVER because you 're even remotely close to being a bad person . Almost always we are too hard on ourselves . We tend to listen to the public conversation and see social norms and watch social media , and always seem to find ourselves lacking . I wonder if it were someone we care about instead of us in the same situation , would we judge as harshly ? For my money , the answer is no . Unrealistic expectations aren 't just for teens anymore , they 're just more obviously affected . I am so concerned for the younger generation . In my day it was gossip in the smoking square and shit scrawled on the bathroom walls and name calling in the locker room getting ready for gym class ( holy fuck , when the put the swimming pool in my high school I wanted to die ) . Now it 's absolutely everywhere and no place seems to be safe . I had an 11 year old in my office yesterday with a black eye because he wouldn 't beat up another kid that other kids called a fag . Regarding the burden of proof , people are inevitably going to accuse others of something that 's not true . I think one of the worst places to be is in a position where you hear something about yourself and then have to wait for others to realize it 's crap , especially because there 's rarely anything you can do to actually prove your case . Anyone can say whatever they choose to . But when they do , at that point the responsibility is on them to put up or shut the fuck up . And if they can 't put up , anyone and everyone who matters in your life will know it . For that matter anyone who matters in your life should come to you and question that shit at the start . And if they don 't ? Hey , don 't be too hard on them . It 's not always easy to go to someone you care about , especially if it 's a sensitive subject . We wish it were , and we are hurt when it doesn 't happen , but if you really think about it how many times in your life have you heard something about someone you love and haven 't felt comfortable going to them directly ? It 's the world we live in . Straight talk should be encouraged , but it 's not . Don 't shy away from it . It 's hardly ever comfortable , but it generally IS comforting . There is a difference . I know it 's rarely ever this simple . Legally , the rule is innocent until proven guilty , although how common is it to be convicted in the court of public opinion ? In the realm of family court , matters tend to be biased towards the mother and / or the person with the better lawyer . But I still believe that the facts of a situation will always bear out . Living proper is rarely glorious . But in instances of unfounded accusations , along with proper legal counsel it 's the best defense . Keep our nose clean , continue as we have been which is right and good and appropriate and without reason to question . The person I spent so much time on the phone with yesterday , the one thing I made it a point to stress before we got off the phone is the reason they 're so eager and willing to make their case to everyone else ( they wanted to go so far as to call CPS on themselves ) is because they have reason to . Someone is saying terrible , hurtful lies about them . But the only person 's opinion who truly matters is their own . THEY are the person they need to tell that they are a good parent . And they need to listen to themselves . They need to believe in themselves . Regardless of what comes with court or with the neighbors or with relatives or with school , there 's nothing that will be found that can support the allegation that they are an unfit parent because there 's simply nothing to find . They 're being attacked , they desperately want to convince everyone else how wrong this is , they can feel the wrongness in their bones . Bones are one thing , but what about their head and their heart ? Are those convinced ? Can their eyes see and their heart truly believe what others can see ? They know without a doubt at the end of every day they have done the best with all that they have to work with to care for their children in every way . That is the definition of a good parent . In the face of screaming accusations though , the voices of the head and heart are usually the quietest ones . I think when people start slinging insults and accusations , they generally count on the other person being so embarrassed by even the thought of being called out in public that they won 't fight back . They feel even more powerful and Godlike if they can work any shred of truth into it . The most viscous people I 've ever seen are the ones who are smart enough to weave just enough facts into the web of lies they spin . They 're counting on either not being questioned at all , or if questioned being able to prove just enough of their claim that nobody thinks to ask if it 's the truth , the whole truth and nothing but the truth . Just because something is factual doesn 't make it anyone else 's business . Unless someone is truly and unavoidably impacted by a situation , it 's none of their concern . Everyone has the right to their own opinion , but they don 't have the right to get involved in something that doesn 't legitimately concern them . That 's your territory . You may have to spend a lot of energy defining and protecting your borders and ignoring those who create scenes because they 're not allowed to cop a squat on your land , but that 's your right . Good , bad , or indifferent , having clearly marked , non negotiable boundaries is SO important . Love yourself enough to define appropriate boundaries and absolutely insist everyone else respect them . People will talk this and that shit , that won 't change . Some things will be correct , some will be false , and there will be everything in between . The facts won 't change because someone said something . When the shit starts flowing , be honest . Objectively , do any facts support what 's being said ? If no , although it 's usually little comfort , hold on to that . Unless someone is straight up lying , they can 't prove something that 's not true and sooner or later others will recognize the lie . A person loses their power and credibility if they can 't prove their claim . And what if part or all of it is true ? What if there really is an elephant in your living room ? In that case you own it , NOT the other way around . It 's your living room . You have the power , and you call the shots . My advice ? Make that bitch pay rent and use it as a foot rest . I started 2016 with admitting myself to rehab for alcoholism . It was the best decision of my life . Some recent events would insinuate that I am both ashamed by and / or have hidden this fact from the public , but neither is the case . I don 't advertise this because it 's not who I am . It 's a part of me , and will always be , but it doesn 't define me as a person . I am Shannon Lea Egan , Jim and Marie 's only daughter . I 'm known for lots of things . I readily engage in conversations regarding all of me , all that I am , all that I was , and all that I hope to become . For better or worse , history is both factual and neutral . It 's what we make of the situation that colors it one way or the other . One thing that 2016 has forced me to acknowledge is that I haven 't been a good friend . Because I 've been caught up in my own issues , I haven 't been there or even made myself available for those around me who are important to me , who have faced situations in their own lives which warrant an " I got your back " . Character flaw ? Yep . I 'm hoping that self - awareness of this helps lead me to a much better awareness of those around me . Although the situations which have prompted me to take much more notice of this aren 't great , it 's still true and for that I 'm grateful . This year I ended a 5 year relationship with a man who is a really great guy . I 've never known a man who truly deserves the best that life has to offer . There 's a certain amount of guilt associated with this . I shouldn 't feel guilty for admitting I can 't be that for him , but I also feel a certain amount of guilt admitting that I can 't , and feeling like he wasted his time with me . I 'm not in love with him , but I miss him in my life . I care about him and what happens to him . Most recently , to try to keep it brief and not give too much voice to the recent ugliness in my life , I had a brief relationship this fall with a man I thought was the love of my life . I was most definitely wrong . You can read back to the past few blog posts for the details , but it 's not necessary for this purpose . We were madly in love with each other . Last month we were out of town at a convention , and because he thought I drove drunk to gas up the car for the next morning 's trip home ( I didn 't ) , he physically and violently threw me out of our hotel room . As of today , there have been many things that have come up that leave me even more paranoid than I have been since the incident last month . Since everything went down , I 've gone back and forth between whether or not I should speak up about what happened because there have been several allegations of this not being the 1st time this has happened with him , or if I should simply shut my damn mouth because of how much trouble it could cause for me and everyone else associated with me in any way if I speak up . I 've kept quiet , but recently I texted him asking about us exchanging personal belongings and he brought up a few very partial personal details of things that occurred since that incident which I have literally no clue how he could possibly have knowledge of . He posted a NINE PAGE Facebook rant last month ( I copied and pasted it into MS word just to read it , it 's literally nine pages ) which lead to multiple threats against me . The rant had outright lies , partial truths , and a huge number of falsehoods that have just enough truth to them to be believable to anyone who doesn 't ask me for any information . Since then his commentary to me has become more off base and more unstable . His text response to my request ( when I tried to discuss exchanging personal effects ) was quite long , and he tried to drag me into a conversation and an argument against yet more allegations , and also guilt trip me into some other stuff . I wouldn 't rise to it , would only comment on the personal effects , but he wouldn 't leave it alone . This is when more unexpectedly truly nasty and quite frankly freaky shit came out . Again , mostly inaccurate , but with enough of a hint of accuracy to seriously lead me to question my own security both virtual and literal . Is he savvy enough to hack into my phone , my computer , my email ? When we were together I had no secrets from him and he knew my passwords . Yes I 've changed them , but I 'm still concerned . I literally feel like poison . I don 't know what to do . I don 't know where to turn . He has all the power and I have none . I don 't ever remember feeling this helpless in my life . I need help . I don 't know where to turn . I feel so out of control that I have no footing . I 'm sure he will see this , and I 'm sure he will celebrate yet another victory over me . If anyone has any words of wisdom , any advice , any suggestions , I definitely welcome it . I don 't feel like a person anymore . I feel like a target . November 20 , 2016November 20 , 2016shannonlea12181 Comment It 's Sunday , and here in Central New York we are getting some lake effect snow fall . There 's already an inch on the ground , and no signs of stopping soon . Current mood : meh . We all know it 's coming , but like a monthly period although it 's expected it 's not necessarily welcome . I 've thought a lot this weekend about the past three months . If nothing else , last weekend lead me to spend last evening with three + of my amazing friends I admittedly haven 't spent time with in years . Good friends are absolutely invaluable . I cannot stress this enough . People come and go in and out of our lives , but our friends , the family we choose , will always remain . I 've gone back and forth this weekend contemplating whether or not I should explain or defend myself against the lies and half truths he 's been telling about me . I went from being an abused woman at a hotel to being accused of and having hotel staff , police , family and who knows what else believe I was high on ecstasy and xanax , and drunk off my ass . And this somehow warranted / justified him assaulting me . I 'm sad that law enforcement did not once think to question his story , and were never concerned with whether or not I was all right , did he hurt me , did I need medical attention . That was the general consensus once people heard an alcoholic had been spotted drinking , that was the only thing that mattered . There 's still such a stigma to being alcoholic that it takes precedence over any other facts of a situation . So much so , that I was questioning myself . I 've saved everything from our short time together . Our 1st date , we met at Sylvan Beach . I 'd never been to the amusement park , a holdover from the 50 's or so . Still has the old rides Still has the old games . He showed me Fascination , which I managed to win my 1st two games playing . I kept every winning ticket , and carried some with me in my purse / wallet / pocket . I actually had a red one on me when he assaulted me . The zoltan card , there 's a fortune teller there . The purple / pink thing , a butterfly he picked from the duck pond . I hung it from my rear view mirror This is the vase , teddy bear , card and one dried rose from the two dozen red roses Jeff sent to my office after our 5th date . Our 4th date was at my sister 's wedding , which we set as our official relationship date . Rather soon , but it was appropriate . In the day of digital , it 's a novelty to have actual snapshots in hand you can hang on your wall or physically hand to someone else to look at . This is a collection of photos of Jeff that I printed because I wanted to be able to look at them without having to turn on my phone . I had some hanging up at the office , some hanging around my apartment . I wanted to be able to look at my happiness whenever and wherever I could . group . I still have the plastic jewel ring the priest gave me to hold on to . Ritz and Ragtime ! Tickets from the fundraiser for the Landmarks Society of Greater Utica . Again , Jeff was a participant . It was a 20 's themed speakeasy event . We had a fantastic time , until a man who was exceptionally political got overzealous and offended a LOT of people after the official event was over . Jeff definitely took offense , and rightly so , but the way he went about voicing his displeasure was not tactful . It never sat well with me . Ritz and Ragtime 2016 - 09 - 04 Ritz & Ragtime . Adirondack Scenic Railroad . My sister 's wedding . New York State Fair . Thendara , after the train robbery . 5th date , hospital room . 4th date , ER because he 's having a heart attack . more things that Jeff has either bought for me or given to me , that I 've set aside to give back to him . The Old Spice and the frosting , I bought that to keep at my place . The mug , Shutterfly . I made that a month ago . All the things from the various nerd block boxes he got for me … I 'm certain at some point he 's going to insist he wants this back because he paid for them . I wonder if this is part of his game , paying for things that aren 't asked for . He paid for a hand painted print of an artist I was incredibly fond of , despite me telling him I wanted to ask the artist if I could make arrangements to put a deposit down on his work . He 's not getting that back . If he argues it , I will pay the artist for it and the artist can pay Jeff back . Ultimately , this broke my heart but it didn 't break me . I 'm not posting pictures of the cats & dogs because that also breaks my heart , that I won 't be able to see them . I actually broke down and sobbed in Wegmans Friday night because I couldn 't avoid the dog food aisle . Okay I couldn 't help it . This beautiful boy , Alistair , has my heart with him . He always gave me that look . I would be lying if I said there were no tears rolling down my cheeks right now , missing him like I do . I know he 's well taken care of . Jeff is a monster about a lot of things , but not about his animals . The woman in me wants to question myself , how I formed my opinion of this man I so obviously fell in love with . The pragmatist in me says to look back at this post and don 't lose sleep over how I feel . The human in me wishes this never came to pass . The granddaughter & niece in me says I know who I am , and what I deserve . They trust that my broken heart won 't mean broken principles . I have to navigate how to deal with the fallout . There 's more to this than simply having been beat up last weekend . He will make it a point to bring shit up . Despite how much of a douchebag Jeff Hartz is , I have my own part to answer for . My part did never , ever , ever warrant him assaulting me . Regardless of what he says , I will admit to drinking and knowing I shouldn 't be . I know this is important , but my hope is for the sake of this situation it 's secondary to what he did to me , and that he had no right to assault me , regardless of his reasoning . He 's working on blacklisting me from conventions . He pulls weight ; he 's part of the scene . I 'm new and nobody knows me , other than what they 're hearing from him . I found something I love and feel a part of , and I will fight for it . Okay , it 's not like I 've spent time on the top of the Empire State Building every day for the past three months . That 's me , wearing my Gram 's gorgeous soft grey leather coat , grinning for the camera at the British gent who offered to take our picture . See the handsome man kissing me on the head ? He does that . A lot . He loves me . I love him . We are planning the next 50 years of our lives together . Wouldn 't you if you were us ? WTF , I mean look at us ! We can 't be any happier ! ! ! …… what happened ? How did that absolute bliss lead to this heartbreak ? The outside looks really shitty , but the inside is infinitely more devastated than the outside . I 've been knocked around a few times before , it seems to be an unfortunate recurring intermittent theme which goes with having a vagina . That 's me , my birthday ( July 12 ) , 2015 . The shirt is ultimate space fleet . It 's a fantastic shirt . See the necklace ? That 's a butterfly necklace from Avon . It 's a simple silver butterfly . It was my Gram 's . I 've worn it so much since she died that the silver on the back has worn off . That 's a glass of water with a straw in it , my mom 's drink . You don 't see my birthday margarita . Or the one or several birthday beers I had . Without being dramatic , I 'm an alcoholic and last year on my birthday , I was in denial and not in recovery . Fast forward to February 2016 . I 'm out of rehab . Breathing clean air . Formally ended a long term relationship which was over for me for months but I never meant anything other than good things for him and was mostly disappointed that happiness wasn 't in the cards for us together . It gets to be summer , 2016 . I think it 's time to start looking for people to share my life with . You don 't have friends with single friends , and you don 't hang around in bars ( anymore ) so online dating it is . Frankly , the last relationship started online and other than it ultimately wasn 't the relationship for us , it was a good way to meet each other . Yep , I look cute . This was my picture ( I think the main picture ) on PlentyOfFish . I love everything about it . The wrinkles around my eyes , my dimples , my crooked teeth and smile . I love it because it 's me . All of me . Not something I 'm used to seeing . Still sober , I met Jeff at Sylvan Beach in July , 2016 . We had a fantastic first date , playing marco polo with our phones until we found each other . It was a geek match made in heaven . His main POF picture was him popping out of the TARDIS . Despite the hour distance apart , I was intrigued . He 's amazing ! He 's charismatic , he 's thoughtful . He has AMAZING pets ( who I still can 't think of without crying ) . Overly helpful , amazing , gracious , completely spectacular . yep , I actually made this and printed it at Kinney Drugs . Several copies . I was in heaven , he was so handsome , I felt so beautiful . It was a literal dream come true . Squeeeeee ! ! ! ! Without going into more detail , we set our relationship status date to August 7 , 2016 . It was our 4th date , I asked him to my sister 's wedding . For our 5th date , I took him to the emergency room because he had a heart attack . This shit cannot be made up . 6th date was in his hospital room . Watched the Battlestar Galactica movie and also a fantastic movie called Bronzed . Things escalated from there . My family loves him , his mom seems to like me , his dogs definitely like me , I can 't be happier ! I can 't see a downside to this . He 's been looking for his geek queen , I 've always secretly hoped for a sexy king of the geeks to sweep me off my feet . And there you have it . There we are . We spent a day at the dog park with Alistair and Rose . We spent a day on the Adirondack Scenic Railroad for the train robbery ( which he was an actor with in the past ) . I attended an alumni event for his former high school with him . We spent another day on the Adirondack Scenic Railroad checking out the fall foliage . Jeff took me to my first Comic Con , it was a one day event in Utica . I 'd met his friends , their wives , his friends ' children . I had seen the light in more than one father 's eyes as he talks about his kids . I 've met some of their kids , and they are as awesome as their parents . Jeff took me to my first regional convention . SuperMegaFest ! ! This is me with two of my favorite artists . I had an amazing time . The geek in me absolutely found her home , and never wanted to leave . Yep , that never works , does it . It never did with me , anyhow . So , the spoiler is that I had been drinking on the weekends at Jeff 's house . I 'd buy a six pack of Fat Tire ( if you 've never had it , I highly recommend it ) , and drink that over the weekend . It wasn 't every weekend , it wasn 't based on anything other than I enjoy the flavor of beer . But , since I 'm an admitted alcoholic and had been to rehab earlier this year , it 's not something I 'd advertised . I 'm not engaging in a conversation about it being okay or not , or how it pertains to my sobriety . That 's a relevant conversation , but not one that has any relevance on this situation . Since the entire event , there 's been this creepy silence , an ugly detente . There 's an entire dynamic of him calling my mom as soon as he assaulted me and schmoozing her into thinking she had to come pick him up if I didn 't " patch things up with him " and bring him home with me that I 'm saddened by . He refuses to allow me to make arrangements to get my things that are at his house as well as give him back his own things . I 've not harassed him . I left him a voicemail several days ago , texted him several days ago with specifics of what I know is there that I want back , and because of his silence sent him a message via Facebook today . His response was apparently to block me on Facebook or some other sort of accusation of impropriety as shortly after I sent the message , Facebook was kind enough to give me a message asking me if I needed to take a break . Despite how much I may want to , I can not and will not attest to anyone else 's interaction with Jeffrey Peter Hartz . Although I have heard and read things , I know only my own experience . I do hope that my retelling of my experience may prevent this from happening again , but from what I 've learned I don 't have a great amount of hope for that . My greater hope is for a better discussion about what is and isn 't abuse , and what to do and how to react to it . November 14 , 2016November 15 , 2016shannonlea1218Leave a comment I hope you take the time to watch this . It 's about 8 minutes long . I know it 's me , but I 've watched me four times now and I 've cried each time because it doesn 't stop hurting less . December 31 , 2015shannonlea12182 Comments So , I haven 't posted in several months . I 've been dealing with severe depression to the point of suicidal thoughts . I 've also been drinking on a daily basis . Obviously this is a seriously bad situation . Bipolar depression is an absolute bitch . I 've worked with my psychiatrist over the last several months to find a medication which will help with both . I 've been prescribed a new medication a few months ago , that has thankfully dragged me out of daily suicidal thoughts . It wasn 't until I had gone a few weeks without considering how I could kill myself without my family knowing it was intentional that I knew I was improving . I have a lineage of significant alcoholics . I have an addictive personality , and alcohol ( beer ) is my primary addiction . Aunts and uncles on both sides of my family have very serious issues with alcohol addiction . There may be other substances involved , but I can say for certain that alcohol use runs rampant . I literally was taught by the age of 8 how to pour beer from a tap without too much foam because one uncle had a fridge in his basement with a keg inside and a tap on the outside . Sometimes I think my catholic Irish heritage promoted having kids to go on beer runs . My father 's father was killed as a result of injuries he sustained in a fight at a bar . The official family story is he was beaten for defending a woman 's honor . The more likely story was he was stepping out with her and someone took offense to that . Another tale I was told was that the day Kennedy was assassinated my dad , who was 13 at the time , woke his father up to tell him the news . This was a seriously Irish catholic family . Supposedly , his dad punched my dad or threw him across the room or something like that , thinking he was being lied to . My family is famous for tall tales . I 've got plenty . But this isn 't about them . This post is about my tale , tall or not . Why am I disclosing all of this ? My significant other , when I told him I told everyone at work about what I 'm working on , was " why would you tell them ? It 's none of their business " . My response is " why wouldn 't I ? " I think this is like coming out of the closet . I hope that analogy doesn 't offend anyone , because I don 't actually know . I have a secret , and I 'm telling people about it . It 's awkward , it 's uncomfortable . I am significantly fortunate to have the support of my family and friends and coworkers . So many people dealing with health issues don 't have a support system . I 'm a lucky one . So , where are things at ? I 've had my intake phone conversation with an inpatient rehab facility in the area . My info has been sent to the clinical department for evaluation , and I 'm waiting to hear on their decision as to what the feel is appropriate for my situation . Updates will follow when I have access . My parting thoughts are if you are struggling with depression please have a conversation with your medical provider . If you 're dealing with any addiction , seek help . My life so far : when it got to be the holiday buying season , I realized that I needed to increase my revenue if I was going to have any sort of life outside of living paycheck to paycheck . I have too many bills to cover and not enough dollar wise smarts to do it with . I thought about jobs I could do part time around my full time job , and since I spent regular time and money at JoAnn Fabrics , I applied there . Minimum wage later , I started the day before Halloween 2014 . I will also freely say that without knowing it , I have been the customer which gets commented about after they leave the store . I didn 't know any different , not having been told . So , in a way , I see this as a sort of P . S . A . about the environment which does not prompt genuine customer appreciation . Think what you will ; I know I will think all sorts of things , good and bad , when this post is done . The store closes at 9 p . m . , but we are scheduled until 10 p . m . Why is that , do you ask ? Being the customer checking out at 8 : 59 p . m . and thinking I get to go home the minute you leave ? The employees have to be there before and after closing to pick up the store - also known as recovery ( put back purchased / returned / found items ) , set sales and put up / take down signage , reset the floor plan , and stock inventory which comes in . Some days there is so much stuff out of place that after 90 minutes of multiple employees doing the bare minimum , the store still looks like someone set loose a fleet of toddlers without supervision . The store I work for allows multiple coupons and accepts competitor coupons . That doesn 't mean the store is open to give away inventory . That wouldn 't make good business sense . You will not get in line and get money back by simply making a purchase with coupons . You can 't bring in a receipt for something you bought two months ago which now happens to be on sale , and expect to get a refund . You won 't be handed coupons at the register . The whole point of coupons are for advertising . They are meant to bring you into the store , not to give you the deed . Speaking of coupons , in the digital age , for the love of EVERYTHING which is good on this earth , have your coupons ready before you get to the register ! Often there 's only one cashier . If it didn 't occur to you to look for a coupon or an app ( I 've had countless people ask me during a transaction if there 's an app for that ) which may save you money , let someone else go ahead of you . I 'm not the Geek squad , and I can 't help you figure out your phone . At best , I know how to use MY phone . There was no course on how to teach someone how to download browsers or coupons or apps or search engines to their phone so I can type in a 32 digit long code because the scanner can 't read the coupon 's bar code on the customer 's phone . I am not a seamstress , despite the fact that I can cut and sell you material . It wouldn 't occur me to walk into Home Depot with a screen shot from Pinterest and expect someone to tell me how to make a grandfather clock , so please don 't come up to an employee and expect we will be able to tell you how to make whatever - it - is that you 've found on the internet . We sell the materials , not the product . We can probably help interpret a pattern , but that 's not in the job description ; it 's likely because the people working the store also craft . If you don 't know what something is called , I can 't tell you if we carry it or if it 's orderable , unless perchance I have a co - worker who can figure out what you 're talking about and can give me specific information to research . If you 've bought it at at a JoAnn store before , save your receipt ; it has an item number on it which I CAN look up to see if we have it in stock , will be getting more , or can special order it for you . Again , vagueness is not our friend in this scenario . The customer survey at the end of your undecipherable receipt ? Yes , we actually want you to go online and complete it . If you name a particular person for doing their job over and above what 's expected , we do get recognized . It 's with a scissor pin , but for those of us who don 't have a pin , we envy those who have one ( or five ) and we do strive to give you a great experience , even if you leave us scratching our collective heads . If you don 't like something , there 's a good chance we don 't like it , either . The tall signs which hide the registers ? We think they suck but we don 't have the power to take them down . The price scanners which don 't work ? Yep , they piss us off but again , we don 't have the power to get them fixed . The leaky roof which leads to garbage cans all over the store - ditto . Same thing with the red paint footprint which has been on the floor since before I 've worked at the store , because corporate won 't pay for it to be removed . We know our paycheck is ultimately signed by the customer . For those who don 't , they should . That doesn 't mean we can meet unrealistic expectations . At the end of the work day , we are much happier when a customer is appreciative of our efforts even if we weren 't able to help them than we would be for a begrudgingly satisfied customer . Many of us work minimum wage to pay the minimum bills or ( in my case ) to cover expenses we can 't meet with our full time job ( i . e . student loans ) . We all love our job , but that doesn 't mean being human doesn 't frustrate us , as it often frustrates you as the customer . I work with nurses , teachers , students , EMTs , moms and dads , parents working to pay for a child 's wedding , career people who have made this their life 's work . We want you to be happy , but you would help us by being realistic and meeting us somewhere in the middle . ourlittleheroThis blog is about our 5 year old little boy Seth and his battle with Severe Combined Immune Deficiency ( SCID ) . At the point of beginning this blog he is being considered for a second bone marrow transplant in order to save his life . My aim is to provide a real account of his history and progress through diary entries , pictures and videos showing that the boy makes the most of his bubble ! . I , his mother , will be the main contributor to this page , but its not about me . Comment , ask questions , do whatever you please this is not my page but ours . I hope that this provides others with information on tackling a condition that 30 years ago would have lead to death . As well as giving family and friends a place to keep up to date with the news of his journey . # wearyellowforsethDark Matter Knitsadventures in knitwear designGlenna KnitsMad Man KnittingJessica L . ArrantBlogging on Kids and Behavior [ and Beyond ] The Adventures of Fanny P . . . . because life is just one big adventure . . . Storytime with JohnPull up and listen . . . I 've got a funny one for ya . . . B . hooked CrochetYour Guide To Better Crochet . Andrew Hinesbe inspiredPlaying Your Hand RightShowing America how to LiveWalk of Faith FMC . . . . . 44 and still deciding what I want to do . drops of lluviacraftiness and beyonddivine debrisCreativity , excitement and defeat - a crochet journeyThe Visual ChronicleRon Scubadiver 's Wild LifeStoryshuckerA blog full of humorous and poignant observations . Northern LaceFibre life in OrkneyMeridianBrideDIY Wedding Invitations For Your Perfect DayMae 's BeautyNail swatches , Nail art , Make - up looks , Everything Beauty ! jazzypantzwriterDo what you can where you are with what you have . . .
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sociopath It can be very confusing when you come out of the relationship with the sociopath . Your heart tells you one thing , but your head can say quite another . It is confusing , you can love the person , but not love the abuse and the way that this behaviour made you feel about you . It can feel on a merry go round of emotions , as you switch back and forth . You read an article which shouts out to you and you feel better . Hours later , you are slumped on the sofa , and your heart is aching again . There is also a sense of ' finality ' the same that you would feel if there were a bereavement . It is like grieving a death . The person that you once loved does not exist , and is never coming back . It is important that you separate truth from fiction . Being in the relationship with the Sociopath , there would have been much deceit , manipulation and illusion . In fact , the entire time spent with the Sociopath was likely to have been one of illusion . It was only when the mask slipped and you witnessed the Narcissistic rage , that you saw a different person . Or at any time , that you challenged the sociopath about their behaviour , or pulled them up on what you knew to be lies and deception . For you , the victim , you are left with conflicting emotions . You know that the relationship is bad for you . You know that it will not get better , yet sometimes your heart takes you back to fantasy land . You need a pen and paper . It is good to write this by hand . It will also be useful for you to keep this for later when you are having a bad day . The following should help you to sort out the confusion in your mind , and to separate what is in your heart , from the Sociopaths behaviour . If you would like to follow this exercise , you are going to use BOTH your heart and your head . The intention , is to divide those conflicting feelings . This will help you to separate truth from fiction . The first step is to let it all out . Write a list of all the good thing . All the good times . All the happy times . All of those thoughts that randomly come into your head , and cause you pain . Everything that you can think of , write it down . This is list one . Write on this list , what did the sociopath get out of those situations ? See it from the way that they think . How they use people for source of supply . You can do this . No matter how bad the damage is , you can do this . It will help you to recover and heal . You might not want to do this at first . It is important to grieve . You might not get as far as writing out your goals . This is OK , the intention of the exercise is to take back control of you . To separate their behaviour from your emotions . June 15 , 2013February 21 , 2015 positivagirlabuse , betrayal , blogger , blogging , dating , domestic violence , healing , love , psychopath , recovery , relationships , sociopath , spiritual 63 thoughts on " Why it is important to Separate Your Emotions From The Sociopaths Behaviour ! " 123cindy1 says : June 15 , 2013 at 2 : 28 pm This is wonderful . Wish I would have done it so that I hadn 't of wasted so much time grieving . But it is better to know now than to never know , and still be with the illusion . Great post ! Reply positivagirl says : June 15 , 2013 at 2 : 31 pm Thanks Cindy , sometimes it is just knowing how . I think they play so many games with your emotions , that it can become confusing . You might love the Sociopath , but hate the behaviour and the way that it makes you feel . Its really useful in recovery to separate those emotions from the behaviour . The feel good happy emotions can be recreated elsewhere . The Sociopaths behaviour will always be the same and will never change . Reply It ' smytime ! says : June 20 , 2013 at 10 : 13 pm Just to piggy back off your response … I loved him but hated his behaviour … just recently he pulled his last stunt . While walking in the rain , looking for my car … I suddenly realized that he had taken me down . It was at that moment scrambling to recover memories of who I was before I met him . Not only was it pouring down outside … it 's was pouring in my life . Every special moment I had had over the past three years , from my college graduation , a promotion , the birth of my child , a birthday party … they had all been ruined . He sabatoged all the moments that were really special to me . It was the " love " that kept me spining in his tornado … I have left before a few times … but this particular time , I can honestly say I 've had enough . I can loved myself and yes I do deserve more . Thank you for this article . positivagirl says : June 20 , 2013 at 11 : 02 pm You are welcome , if you do it … . also remember to write down all the bad crappy things that he did , ruined and destroyed for you . All the times he sabotaged something that was good , for no other reason than his own entertainment . YES you deserve so so much more . simonecastelli says : June 15 , 2013 at 9 : 25 pm Good reading and very helpful . Lists are great , and once written we must make a conscious effort to stare at them all the time . Because this is our written truth . Our heart will lie and deceive us and try to pull us back to the illusion that we 're familiar with . It 's almost like a discipline that we have to start focusing on the truth until it sinks in and we start walking it . You eventually do realise how bad it was and when you look at the new target , no matter what they are presenting to the world , you know what she is secretly going through . Reply positivagirl says : June 15 , 2013 at 10 : 02 pm Absolutely . Because those lists are written by us , they contain our own ' code ' of thinking unique to our experience and who we are . Can be great to pull out again at a weak moment . Reply Christina says : February 13 , 2014 at 11 : 21 pm I know it 's been some time since you posted , but I am just going through a break up of a marriage now . Your words ring so very true for me . Thank you for putting into words exactly what I 've been feeling . Reply positivagirl says : February 14 , 2014 at 12 : 40 am Christina are you talking to me or to Simone ? I think Simone still reads here . Simone says : February 16 , 2014 at 10 : 19 pm I do still read here ! Big hugs Christina either way , you two PG ! xx Reply positivagirl says : June 16 , 2013 at 12 : 33 am Hey how are you doing GL ? I get the website changed over tomorrow , so will be able to get Forum put in , hurray ! ! 🙂 How are you ? I take it having one of those ' confusing ' days ? It 's tough when you get that push pull from your heart to your head isn 't it ? I like lists ( you can probably tell ) , helps to sort things out when things feel confused . positivagirl says : June 17 , 2013 at 12 : 11 am I hear you ! ! … . . that is the most painful part , but it is the part which will help you to heal quickest . But it is the most painful … . . but … . . the truth will set you free ! ! 🙂 gaslighted says : June 16 , 2013 at 11 : 02 pm So true , NMI … Sometimes we get so attached to our feelings and our projections of who they were … but seeing them for what they are is so incredibly humbling and powerful at the same time . Reminds us that its time to let go no more insanity ! says : June 16 , 2013 at 11 : 39 pm Sometimes I ask myself if I think I 'm a superheroe who wants to save Pinnochio from himself . . it is as " I know his potential , why he can 't see it ? " The truth is there 's not any potential . . . as the 80 's song from Boston , the man I 'll never be . positivagirl says : June 17 , 2013 at 12 : 18 am Because he truly cant unfortunately . I stayed best friends with my ex for a year after we split i saw him every day . He KNEW he was a sociopath then , but whilst there was a slight improvement in his behaviour ( as in understanding it he tried to manage it ) - there was no real change , and the same pattern and cycle continued ( it just wasn 't as severe ) because he was more aware and managed it better . But it was similar . frost bitten says : May 12 , 2016 at 6 : 04 am Killing the hope is how i sit at this very moment . just happened to come across this … . . I thought I understood crazy … i had no idea … positivagirl says : June 17 , 2013 at 12 : 16 am Your english is FANTASTIC ! ! ! 🙂 Where are you from ? positivagirl says : June 17 , 2013 at 12 : 16 am Aw , no its not like that . Sociopaths can also be good sometimes . They can care in their own way ( albeit more control and possession ) - Usually they have a motive for what they are doing . One thing though , is that it is not personal against you . it just the way that they are , the way that their brain works . They will meet someone else and do exactly the same thing . if you look in their past they would have done the same thing . no more insanity ! says : June 17 , 2013 at 2 : 22 am I 'm Hispanics from the Caribbean . positivagirl says : June 17 , 2013 at 2 : 51 am hahaha I love the way that you put things ! ! ! It is so very clever , funny and true also . I wish I had know about that , as he had a big nose , the name would have been great ! ! 🙂 simonecastelli says : June 17 , 2013 at 3 : 49 am What a great question NMI , I can 't speak for you and it depends where we all are on our journey but I guess for me my name has changed . I was once called " Delusional " along with many other things , Possibly " Superficial " , " Unauthentic " now my names are ; " Authentic " " Know " " Loved " " Deep " " Insightful " " Kind " ……… And yes it is a hard thing to do , the hardest thing I have ever done in my lifetime . I spent months having feeling inside my stomach everyday as though I wanted to throw up . My body shook and ached , I had headaches , and looked terrible . No one can lie and say it will be easy , but if you stay in a place you are not meant to be , the long - term effects will be worst than that which I 've described above . I know , I 've lived it . Too long to describe here on someone elses page , you can read parts of my story on my blog - Red Light Runners if you want to . positivagirl says : June 17 , 2013 at 4 : 22 am Good comment Simone , and how very true . If you stay there in the grief , you can be affected by that just as much . Thank you ! ! simonecastelli says : June 17 , 2013 at 3 : 51 am And yes , a part of you is definitely dying . And it feels frightening . But it 's the part that 's supposed to die . We have to become used to not living with it anymore and let it go . Terribly difficult . positivagirl says : June 17 , 2013 at 4 : 23 am But . , … . . then you realise that it was the bad part that died , the part that stifled you , controlled you , held you back , isolated you , lied to you …… . and you breath a sigh of relief and the sun shines again ! ! ! 🙂 simonecastelli says : June 17 , 2013 at 5 : 02 am Yes exactly . The sun will shine bright again . " Brighter unto an everlasting day . " just takes time . positivagirl says : June 17 , 2013 at 5 : 06 am Wow Simone , ….. … . read the last two stories on the tell your story that have just come in . Just wow ! ! ! simonecastelli says : June 17 , 2013 at 6 : 13 am Gee that 's a lot of reading ! It 's just crazy and I 'm speechless . Good idea this forum . I will check in on it whenever i can . I don 't know what to say , again I 'm speechless . This is great what you are doing . I hope all these women and men can gain strength from one another . All our stories are so indepth and have so many facets to them . I said it already I know but I 'm just shocked . Michelle says : June 16 , 2013 at 3 : 05 pm This info couldn 't have come at a better time for me . My s has been arrested on Wednesday . . I am getting calls everyday from inside the jail which I have not answered . Most likely they are collect calls . I am also getting calls from different bail bond companies . Each one trying to convince me to get my loved one out of jail and telling me I only have to pay a small amount to do this . I have refused each time . My fear is that I am going to break down and answer one of those gals from inside the jail . I don 't want to do it . I don 't want to send money so he has money in his account . Inmates need money to make phone calls , write letters and purchase snacks . I don 't want him to get anything from me . He has taken enough . His parents will not bail him out either and they have the money . They are very wealthy . His bail is 50 thousand . Original charge is assault on police office during an arrest of public drinkenness . This is a felony . He was placed on probation . He was taken into custody on violation of probation for failing drug test . His drug of choice is heroin but will do most anything . I am starting to feel badly about not answering the phone . It 's that head and heart thing . I am going to do the exercises that you offer . Thanks . He has a girlfriend but on the day he was arrested she told her parents that she too was addicted to heroin and they sent her off to rehab . This girl is his new victim . He loved her soooo much that he got her hooked on dope . Misery loves company . I am curious , if you dont mind sharing . I am fascinated by the fact that you were able to remain friends with you ex / sociopath for up to a year after the split . I am curious as to why there was no " discard " since he could not use you anymore … Also , how did that work without you being sucked back in , and without him trying to cast his " spell " on you again ? Or try with the seducing , anyway . Any time I have just tried to be " friends " with my soc ( because we have tried this for years . . ) it always catapults into something else , much more quickly . Thus , starting a new cycle . I guess , in a general sense , how were you able to manage that relationship as a " friendship " for up to a year , and if you dont mind sharing , what was the final straw that made you apply the no contact rule with him ? Mainly I ask these questions because I am looking for a ray of hope that someday we could be " friends " because he makes me laugh so much , and was my best friend for years . But , the more logical part of me wants some reaffirming answers that it wont be possible . Reply positivagirl says : June 17 , 2013 at 1 : 28 am Oh well all of your suspicions are correct . We repeated the cycle over and over . Because he had stolen , owed me a lot of money . I couldn 't trust him until he had paid something back . He never did . He never paid back a penny , but there was always the lure that he would . More allegations of more fake jobs etc . He had moved to my city , so he didn 't know anyone here . He also had total control over my life . The first few months after the police kicked him out were hell . Absolute hell , I almost lost my house . I then convinced him ( as he by then knew he was a sociopath ) that I had some personality disorder and that if he did anything to me , i would call the mother of his child and tell her everything . those few months were hell . Police were called repeatedly . You can 't be ' friends ' with a sociopath because he ALWAYS wants something . And you cant trust him . ( he was the type to steal too ) . So I had to have boundaries . To be honest it had gone on for such a long time . I think I had no fight left in me , it had became normality . Of course by then we didn 't live together . That wouldn 't happen , unless he could prove he was trustworthy . Which was something that he really couldn 't do . He did try - after those first few months . We got on ok … . daily contact , but then i wasn 't doing too much else anyway . I think i was fascinated by his behaviour . Which as you know they can act totally sane . So I also had hope that one day he would sort himself out . He couldn 't . I almost was really sucked in after Christmas . I had a lot of food and drink in from Christmas . By then , I knew him inside out , and knew that he loved things for free … so he came and stayed for a couple of weeks … . I ALMOST fell back in love with him … . . but of course being a sociopath - he said I need to move in with you . Which made me really suspicious . I pulled back and he went awol . From Jan - about a month ago . He was very on and off after that , for the first time . He had found new source forReply no more insanity ! says : June 17 , 2013 at 1 : 52 am Gaslighted , on conclusion , forget about the friendship … they will always see you as their " savings account " where they can go when they need money , time , a car , a house , someone to speak , someone to show their " achievements " , when they need a bed , a body … . they withdraw from the account but never ever will make a deposit , and this is not what a friendship is about … positivagirl says : June 17 , 2013 at 2 : 18 am Exactly . Do you know what , after he had stormed out after I said no to moving in . I learned that he was about to get his welfare benefit removed for refusing to get a job . So he thought he could move in and live off of me ! ! then he called me and said ' well its all ok now I am going to get my money sorted ' … . Short time after that it was really cold , so he was acting all loving and that he really really wanted to make things work . he refused to go home . Every day he slept on my sofa . On the last day i went shopping for food … and spent £ 160 on food … next day he went home . I said where are you … . . he said ' oh its ok now , I have my boiler fixed , it was broken all last week ' . you should come down its nice and warm here now 🙂 You couldn 't make it up . positivagirl says : June 17 , 2013 at 1 : 32 am Yes he made me laugh he was my best friend too . But the truth is , you are just someone who he owns and possess . During that time he hacked into emails and facebook . Accused me of all kinds of things . I was constantly on the defence . Truthfully we did get on … . but it was his behaviour … . it was impossible and so illogical . He created problems when there didn 't need to be problems . consistently . he continued to live the lie and behind the mask of deception . Told lies , played games . I don 't know in reality - I think we had literally taken it as far as we could . If he comes back he will only do so to use you for further source of supply . You know what he would say to me ( he knew he was a sociopath ) … . well I will have to get a job i am on my own , i wont have anyone to live off of . It was probably the most honest thing he had said . So if he couldnt get source of supply from me - he had to get a new girlfriend … . there it was . , … really . Reply positivagirl says : June 17 , 2013 at 1 : 34 am So no . Unless you want to be used . As that is all that they do really . How can you be friends ? You are his ex . Either he can use you for source of supply or he will get someone else to use . That is the sad reality . We stayed friends when we did simply because he didn 't know anyone else , he had burned all his bridges … . so he kept hold of me . Just using someone for company is using them for source of supply . Reply gaslighted says : June 17 , 2013 at 2 : 25 am I suppose all of that makes sense . Thank you for sharing it again . I definitely dont want to be used anymore or again . I can also relate to him " burning all of his bridges " and " not having many friends " . As I frequently would get the comments " thank you for never giving up on me " and other things to make me feel like a champion . He , too , was unemployed , although I thought it was temporary . I learned during our relationship that he aquired money in so many shady , scandalous ways . But , would frequently make comments to me about how I was going to be his " sugar mama " . I remember when we re - connected , the first month , it was almost like he was taken aback . I had started my career , am very successful at it and am making big moves with it . He instantly wanted in , and I think I actually saw the wheels turn one night while we were at dinner . I was talking about my job and he stops and goes " Wow … you 're really going places … " and the way he said it made me believe it was truly the first time he realized it . And from that moment on , would tell me things to make it a point to be the " stand up guy I deserve to have in my life " and would find ways to propose business ideas to me . Never mind the fact that a month later , he was shit talking me for talking about my work and making me feel horrible for my successes . I do wish I could have that friendship … but at the same time , yes , i was a savings account . He never gave me anything . And truthfully , coming from a place of copositivagirl says : June 17 , 2013 at 3 : 17 am Exactly ! ! I used to say to him i am NOT your career option . Get a job ! ! He would really say to me ' well if i cant be with you , i will have to meet someone else ' either let me move in and that was his life plan . The normal things like having a stable home , somewhere for his daughter to come and stay . building a life , going on holiday - those things were missing . it was like having a tap that was never turned off . Very draining . And it wont change . Saved says : June 17 , 2013 at 4 : 02 pm My ex must be a low - level functioning sociopath . He carries a great deal many of the traits : lies , no long term relationships ( except for one friend ) because he burned them all , constant deceit , promiscuous ( found out over time that he constantly slept with married women and last his last long term relationship because he was caught cheating ) , lack of long term goals ( other than the ' I want to marry you and have children ' lie ) , selfish , no empathy , immature ( late 30 's and has no responsibility ) , had a drug problem , etc . , etc . He 's even told me once that it was easier to lie , that he 's spent his entire life lying and it 's easier than telling the truth . He had a really crappy upbringing ( many of the things I was able to slowly pull from him , other family members confirmed ) . Another thing I think helps him is that his best friend also seems to be the same type of person . I think this is why he 's be able to sustain the friendship for so long . His friend also has a bit of a temper , so he might be slightly afraid to commit any wrongdoing . I think that 's why their relationship has lasted so long . And the person he was constantly lying to me about also has issues with fidelity and lying … so , birds of a feather ? I told him that he doesn 't think he 's doing anything wrong b / c the closest people to him do the same things . I 'm sure it adds to validating his actions … but I now realize that he doesn 't think he 's doing anything wrong because he lacks a conscience . He was abReply positivagirl says : June 17 , 2013 at 4 : 20 pm Are you sure he is a sociopath ? I am thinking if he worked and split the bills with you ? Sociopaths are very deceptive . Manipulative , controlling they wear a mask of deception . Basically they are opposite to who they portray themselves to be , and it is only when the truth comes out that you are left absolutely stunned . Reply Saved says : June 17 , 2013 at 5 : 00 pm I could be wrong . Does having a job and sharing bills negate the sociopathic personality ? Not sure … But he really carries all of the other traits that I mentioned above . I 'm told ( by his family ) that the reason why he ended up moving on with a career in his early 30 's is because a family member who was supporting him was going to cut him off if he didn 't . Prior to that , he was fired from his previous jobs . He may have picked up some of the bills because he was making decent money and I impressed upon him in the very beginning that a financial louse was total turn off . I now realize that he drained me financially in other ways - talking me into taking trips that I thought were too expensive and lavish , asking me to ' pick him up some stuff ' and he 'll give me the money back , etc . , etc . I think in his own way , he would come in and out of thinking that he would / should change . i . e . - he introduced me to his family ( didn 't introduce the ex he was engaged to after being with her for 4 years ) because I told him how important it was to me , would tell me that he was trying not to lie and didn 't know why he always lied after I would catch him in a lie and confront him , etc . But then I think about all of the red flags I could have noticed above … he once told me while drunk that he tortured an animal ( while he was sober ) … playing the victim with stories of his ex 's , friends and family ( once I dug about for information , I found it was all untrue ) , the speed at which our relationship moved ( so fast ! ) . He would change for just long enough to let me think that he would be honest … and then I would capositivagirl says : June 17 , 2013 at 5 : 46 pm It is impossible to say , read some of the stories on the tell my story ( say the last two that came in yesterday ) that is typical sociopath behaviour . styles888 says : June 20 , 2013 at 9 : 35 pm I never thought about making lists - Great idea - thanks . My ex has all the traits of a sociopath . She had me on a rollercoaster of emotions the likes I have never been on . If it weren 't for my friends , I would gone down that dark hole . I will definitely do the lists . Thanks again . Reply positivagirl says : June 20 , 2013 at 11 : 16 pm Thanks styles , and dont forget , write a list of all the bad things that she did to you too … . let it out . Get it out of your system . Let it go . Reply styles888 says : June 20 , 2013 at 9 : 42 pm I never thought about making lists - Great idea - thanks . My ex had all the traits of a sociopath . She had me on a rollercoaster of emotions the likes I have never been on . If it weren 't for my friends , I would have gone down that dark hole . Will definitely do the lists - thanks again . Reply positivagirl says : June 20 , 2013 at 11 : 01 pm I would add to that list ALL the bad things he did to you too . its theraputic to write it all down and a good reminder , let it all out ! ! ! 🙂 Reply Lisa says : August 19 , 2013 at 12 : 17 am I recorded our last call , 40 min long . I explained how its time to move on , I 'm dating again , don 't even think about me etc . I said " I know what you are . I figured it out . " He asked what my analysis was and i said I don 't want to say it out loud . He was furious about me dating ( I was pretending ) he wanted to know his name , where he lived , and said the new guy will not be Mr Prince Charming ! Many more comments . He 's mad yet disappeared after I left him , didnt explain cheating , never fought for me etc . he doesn 't love or want me but wants to still control . I cannot get rid if this phone call because I had CONFIDENCE when talking . I took control for once , smoothly and calmly . In my case , it helps to hear myself so healthy and firm to him . Just wanted to share 😉 Reply willbestrong says : January 14 , 2014 at 2 : 39 am Hey there , i have a question . My ex sociopath boyfriend is pretty succesful in business and is a lot older than me , so he has been paying for everything . We have been together for more than seven years . And earlier last year , i had a feeling that he wants me to give up my dream and just work for his company . I refused and he got very unhappy . He recently discarded me by doing this silent treatment without warning . I wonder since he 's been paying for everything , does it mean i am the sociopath and he just using the no cotact to stay away from me ? I was the one who was thinking about leaving him before this happened and probably showed in my attitude . But i just have this strong feeling that i cannot leave without him after he left me unexpectedly . i really don 't think i was trying to manipulate him in any intentional way . I just got very nervous when being with him before the abandonment since he criticizes a lot of things about me . I am s9 confused . . am i the dangerous sociopath that he wants to escape from ? Reply positivagirl says : January 14 , 2014 at 2 : 47 am Hi I don 't know you to say who you are or to make judgement . What I can say is that they are fond of the silent treatment ( find the post coping with the pain of sociopath discard ) they do this to control you . Also you thinking you are a sociopath and doubting yourself is also common . Unless you are a compulsive pathological liar , who uses others for your own gain I would say no . It 's a common socio trick to make you feel like you are the one who is in the wrong 😦 They always do the silent treatment so you think your the one in the wrong . It 's a horrible painful feeling . Reply willbestrong says : January 14 , 2014 at 11 : 47 pm Dear Positivagirl , Thanks for the response ! That 's very helpful ! The truth is I didn 't let him pay for anything in the first few years when we started dating . but somehow he just cracked all my boundaries by picking up checks when we dine out , buying me small gifts that seem to be harmless and gradually threw out pretty much everything in my wardrobe and replaced with clothes he chose or approved . Last year he convinced me to quit a stable job and to challenge myself by finding a better job somewhere else ( " you are not making things happen " " if you want to accomplish sth , you have to be very aggressive and burn all the bridges backward . " etc . ) So i did . the new job i got does not pay as good as the old one , so he sent me huge amount of money to " help out " . i became very upset about that , so last month , i said : i don 't think i should be using your money anymore . he became all alerted and kept asking : what do you mean ? i said i just want to be more independent . he said , " but you need help right now , if i leave you alone you would end up drowning . " A month later , he abandoned me without a word , presumably wants me to die from no financial support from him ? The reason I said i want to be more independent is that he started talking about how i can be more involved with his business - he created a position for me in his Jonathan B . says : June 19 , 2014 at 4 : 18 pm I 've found that it is wise to hide from normal view , but not delete text messages , emails , and any other evidence of their sociopathy . You do this , not to take revenge , but to have your own documentation should they decide to get vengeful and make legal threats . Document , document , document . In my case , she sent me a comedy internet cease and desist letter threatening me with being a stalker , arsonist , and vandal . My ex self - documented what a " bad person " in many ways . She took pictures of things and removed them of context and crucial details , pretended to be conciliatory in the hopes I would " entrap " myself and provide flimsy evidence she needed for her now full - effect smear campaign . It was nefarious . Without a conscience , indeed . Thankfully , I have a stack of aces up my sleeve that I won 't even reveal here on the slim chance she stalks me and finds my writing here . My advice is , create a collection of evidence that is rock solid and do NOT let them know you have it . The more you share with a sociopath , the weaker your position becomes . They will adapt to this knowledge . A wtf ? ! Moment yet … I can finally claim same . I hope he remembers often all those bad things that happened to him in prison . He deserved it . Top Posts & Pages The sociopath will always accuse YOU of what they are guilty of themself Lack of empathy , guilt , remorse or shame Top 18 signs that you were dating sociopath ! ! Losing control over YOU will cause the sociopath to lose control over themselves ( and then anything is possible ) Don 't feel jealous when he moves onto someone new ! Sociopath lack of conscience , lack of remorse , guilt or shame I love you ! Seducing and love bombing Sociopath - how to get even with one What does the sociopath fear ? Create a free website or blog at WordPress . com .
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Contradiction is a riveting and dynamic account in which Charles Carpenter unveils the core of why at risk youth become attracted to gang subculture . Charles Carpenter shares his personal experience regarding his attraction to gang life . Profound insight is offered regarding loyalty and the ugly face of betrayal . Charles delves into how the catalyst that motivated his change was when a fellow member of his former gang violated the code of honor and respect by having a capricious affair with his wife ; this transgression was the foundation that led to Charles Carpenter 's conviction of second degree murder . After years of living a destructive life style which continued to yield negative fruitage , Charles Carpenter vowed to make positive changes in his life . He made a conscious effort to change the behavior patterns that ultimately shaped the gang member that he diligently aspired to become . Charles Carpenter outlines the anatomy of his change and describes what is required to learn positive behaviors . Contradiction is a riveting and dynamic account in which Charles Carpenter unveils the core of why at risk youth become attracted to gang subculture . Charles Carpenter shares his personal experience regarding his attraction to gang life . Profound insight is offered regarding loyalty and the ugly face of betrayal . Author of the critically acclaimed autobiography Handcuffed . The book outlines Charles Carpenter upbringing and his subsequent membership to the faction of Crips ( 3 - 5 - 7 ) located in Pomona California . The book Handcuffed was penned while Mr . Carpenter was housed in California 's maximum security prison - New Folsom . Handcuffed offers profound insight into the ramifications of witnessing domestic violence as a youth , and explore the gang subculture in an attempt to raise awareness for any struggling with destructive criminal behavior . Charles Carpenter 's story is raw and full of emotion . It is so important to reassure your loved ones during the early stages of this disease . The more worked up they get , the more inept and useless they feel . Nobody should feel this way , especially those in the early stages of dementia . It 's not easy to be patient under normal circumstances . It 's even harder the fifteenth time you 're looking for a cell phone or car keys . You must force yourself to always exercise patience . If finding their phone is important to them , then it should be important to you . Telling them not to worry about it , or it 'll show up , doesn 't help at all . You might as well be talking to a wall . Finding a lost item will become a fixation for them . Drop whatever you 're doing and find the item . Be sure to include them in your search . Chances are they 're going to follow you around anyway . This is a memoir of my journey caring for two loved ones , and experiencing the loss of a third loved one to this terrible disease . Witness with me , up - close and personal , the different stages of dementia - from early signs , diagnoses , progression , and finally the heart wrenching end . Learn from my experiences to identify the early symptoms sooner . And , more importantly , learn how to care for your loved one so that they never walk alone … As the sunset over the headland at Kings Beach , an elderly couple watched as the passenger liner " Sun Beauty " sailed out to sea on its next voyage . The couple were in the twilight of their lives , and they had shared a beautiful life together . They had earlier that day , spent time with their children , grandchildren , and their great granddaughter while they celebrated their 38th wedding anniversary . They shared a bottle of Muscadean , a white wine produced from white Muscat grapes grown in Ballandean , hence the name . A light , easy drinking aromatic semi - sweet white makes it perfect served chilled for that warm summer day picnic . They discovered the wine on a weekend visiting Queensland 's Granite Belt wine region and , at once it became " their wine . " Later on , the owners of the winery opened an outlet at nearby Mooloolaba , and while he could still drive , he managed to call in about once a month . When the sun had set , he dozed off in his favourite chair , placed to take in the picturesque outlook over the entrance to Moreton Bay . She was comfortable with him dozing off , and she knew he was at peace . Although now in his eighties , they both liked to look back at the uncertain times , at the peak of World War two when they first met , and how over time , their love grew . Although the population considered Australia to be safe at the start of the war , as Europe and Germany were on the other side of the world . Attitudes changed with Japan entering the war . Japan shared the same Ocean as Australia . Although Japan and Australia were successful trading parties before the war , with Japan attacking Pearl Harbour and making menacing overtures towards Singapore , Australia was now at war with Japan . When it became seriously believed by the government and military that Japan would attack Australia , it needed to be quickly decided what areas should be protected . Because Australia was a vast island with the majority of the population confined to the southeast , in February 1942 General Ivan Mackay drew a line on the map of Australia . This line stretched from the coast north of Brisbane to west of Melbourne . Although no record of the " Brisbane Line " was being activated , many believed , ( and some still do ) that the line was implemented and all of the country north and west of the line was to be abandoned . Because of its proximity to the Pacific battlefronts , Brisbane was the crucial point for resupplying the troops in battle . The Americans developed it as a Major Naval base , including a vast submarine base . In 1942 , General McArthur set up his headquarters for the Pacific in Brisbane . Brisbane needed a civilian population to make sure the smooth running of so many essential services . The government and the military were in a " catch 22 " situation . Secrecy needed to be maintained for security , and yet , the population needed to be reassured of their safety . This , compounded by the military distrust of elected politicians , as well as the parliamentarian 's need to placate their constituents . A unique approach obviously was needed . The member for Port Macquarie and now the defence minister , David Millar called an urgent meeting of his department heads to see if a solution could be found . Because of some of the difficulties , the meeting was held in Sydney . As it happened , in the same hotel that the defence department rented rooms , the senior media lecturer at Queensland University was with colleagues in a get together of their own . Tom Walker was the former editor of a major newspaper who also had extensive experience producing newsreel films . Tom and David were friends from the University of New South Wales , where they both studied . When the defence Minister ran into the media lecturer in the hallway , they made time to have a few drinks and reminisce about their university days . They finished their talk with Tom agreeing to put a concrete proposal together . He needed to show how it would also work including the resources needed . This plan was required to be able to be presented to the War Cabinet by the end of the week . He approached the task as if preparing a lecture for his students . He defined exactly the end achievement needed . What would be the best way of achieving the result ? What resources are needed ? He was able to present a written proposal two days later . e . A driver who must be competent in small boats and all types of motor vehicles . Would also be an aid in labouring and any other tasks as required ? 6 . The budget would be set by the Minister and vehicles , camera and other equipment to be supplied by the military where available . But the unit would buy directly when needed . 7 . The Military are to supply accommodation including living , office and workshop space independently from the military accommodation . The Military is required to provide security for this area . To his surprise , Tom received a call from the minister that afternoon is telling him it had been approved without alteration . A meeting was set up the next day with the minister and his senior staff . The chief of the defence forces would also be attending . David arranged for Tom to use a parliamentary office in Canberra to enable him to get the ball rolling . Some of the minister 's staff members were allocated to generate all the legal and performance documents needed so that Tom could start with the recruitment . His first need would be for a personal assistant . David assured Tom that , as he would be operating a division of the Ministry of Defence and all members of his unit would be paid by the department , so would all expenses . In fact , even though there were shortages of materials and other supplies , Jill would order everything under the auspices of the department . Therefore , all suppliers would , under the wartime regulations , have no alternative than to supply the unit in preference to all others . This would also mean that the unit had priority over the three military branches . David arranged for an interview and within two minutes , Tom decided that she was ideal , and she wanted the job . Jill transferred to Tom 's unit that afternoon . Jill was an extremely good - looking woman . She stood about six feet tall with a body would make most Australian women envious . The meeting with Bill concluded remarkably successful , although he advised Tom that he needed a week to tidy up his current projects . He did , however , know of a young cameraman who would be ideal for them . Tom agreed to give Bill the week to tidy up and then , he was to join him at Eagle Farm the following Monday . Joe was thirty - years old and married to Joan , a nurse working in the burns unit at Royal Brisbane Hospital . Ninety percent of her patients were R . A . N . and RAAF personnel , injured while on duty in the Pacific . Both were career orientated although , Joe wanted to join the army . Jill met Joan several years ago at a conference , so on Saturday when she arrived in Brisbane , Jill gave her a call . She heard about Joe resigning , and she asked if he would see Tom before he enlisted . They made an appointment to meet with Tom on a Tuesday afternoon . Tom , being familiar with Joe 's work , looked forward to meeting him . On Tuesday afternoon , the Minister arrived in Brisbane and called on Tom . He was impressed with the speed the unit set up . Tom explained that they could not arrange for film equipment until Bill came on board , the following Monday . He explained to David that the only position not filled was the driver . During the first week , Jill set up important meetings with the local Military commanders , where the Minister explained what was about to happen . He instructed them to brief Tom on the entire military ( army , naval and air force ) tasks surrounding Brisbane . They all agreed the first movies would centre on the sea approaches to Brisbane . They felt most of the strategy for the defence of Brisbane seaways would be known to the Japanese anyway . There is only one shipping channel into Brisbane , and they were sure that the Japanese would have extensive charts . These would 've been gathered before the war while Japanese cargo ships regularly carried cargo in and out of Brisbane . Jill would use her talents to make sure it was all available within days . Tom become amazed at what Jill could organise . He often wondered if Jill knew there was a war on and led to equipment being in short supply . If Jill asked for material , Jill got equipment . The acquisition of a truck and small boat created no problems for Jill . The rest of that week the unit worked together and settled into their new roles . It was decided that they should wear army style work wear , and they were given " All Area " passes . This allowed them to enter restricted areas at any time . The unit was given the imposing name of " Ministry Communications Unit . " They all now signed the Official Secrets Act and to make their job easier when moving around they were given talks on a broad range of military subjects covering all three services . They needed to be able to recognise all badges of rank for both Australian forces as well as American forces . They also needed to know operational requirements of the Navy as well as the army . Their quarters at Eagle Farm consisted of a separate room for each person with shared toilets and showers except for Jill , who had her own . Joe had a room , although he usually stayed at home when not required . In the office block , they all had their workspace . Alf was allocated an area allotted for his truck . This would be where he parked it , and could do any services that the army didn 't do . He also used a general store room that he stored any timber or other supplies that may be needed . An American Air Force unit , being next to the Eagle Farm compound was ideal for meals . Jill arranged for breakfast and dinner to be taken at their Officers Mess while , lunch was sandwiches that Alf would collect after breakfast . They often joked about Alf being probably the only driver who ate in an Officer 's mess anywhere in the world . Jill had also arranged for tea making facilities to be available at their compound . This was the same day that their cameraman , Fred Williams , joined them from the south coast . He signed the " Official Secrets Act " paperwork on the dock . Their vessel , a harbour tug , usually travelled through the channel with every convoy in the case of an incident . As they departed the port , they looked at Fort Lytton on the southern side of the river . The fort had been erected to protect Brisbane from the Russians in the 1870s . The tugs captain pointed that the North West shipping channel ran from the Brisbane River to Caloundra . After leaving the river , the channel runs northeast to around Cowan Cowan on Moreton Island , and then it turns North West to Bribie Island where it then rounds Wickham Point at Caloundra and heads out to sea . On the return journey , they observed the tight formation of the ships in the convoy , and how the escorts weaved in front of the convoy . This was to make sure that no submarines were amongst them . The same procedure took place at the rear of the convoy . Tuesday morning Tom met with the editors of the two local newspapers and explained his mission to them . They both agreed they would take and publish the articles Joe would write and give them by - lines of a staff journalist . They also knew that being a War Cabinet mission , secrecy of the source along with the need not to alter the transcripts were vital . After lunch , Tom arranged for the team to meet at the Breakfast Creek Hotel . This was a " getting to know you " exercise . Tom stressed the importance of their job and he could take the luxury of relaxing for the first time since he had run into David . In only eighteen days the unit developed from a concept into a fully functional branch of the defence ministry . Jill commented that , in all her years in public service , she had seen nothing happen so fast . At the beginning of a semester at the University , Tom had used the following exercise many times . It involved getting everyone to tell their life story to the group . They adjourned to a private room that Jill had organised and with jugs of beer on the table and a supply of nibbles Tom started the ball rolling . " After I gained my degree at the University of New South Wales , I started out my working career as a cadet journalist with the Cumberland group in Parramatta . As a young man I met my wife , and we had two lovely daughters within two years . I became a feature editor for the whole group in less than ten years . When I was preparing an article to focus on the benefits of the new Harbour Bridge , I happened to stand right in front of the official party . I was amazed at the audacity of Captain de - Grout in cutting the ribbon . This led me to think words could never adequately describe the mood and reactions of the Premier and all the official party . The looks of amazement mixed with anger could not be captured in words alone . This led me to think about exploring the possibilities of working with film . " " I realised that to bring up the girls , my life needed to be more organised , and I needed to be home far more than in the past . It was around this time that the media studies faculty at the University of New South Wales was put into place . I applied to join this faculty and became the first media lecturer . " " About a month ago I was in Sydney for a meeting when I ran into David Millar , whom I had known from my student days . David suggested we have a few drinks , and it was during this time that the formation of this unit developed . David went back to Canberra and asked me to put a proposal together . Within two days David had presented my proposal to the Cabinet and Cabinet approved it unanimously . " " I went straight from high school into the public service as a clerk . I noticed those around me who sought a career in the public service had university degrees . This led me to enrol in a business studies program with a major in government studies . " " Bob was more of an administrative officer and as it turned out the army is short of young administrators . They had plenty of leaders and field officers but , short of those with highly developed administrative skills . This was good for us as it meant Lieutenant , and then Captain and finally Major Robertson worked at Army Headquarters in Canberra . " The Space Age : a time of Sputnik and Saturn rockets , populated by men with names such as Glenn and Gagarin . Now you can relive the countdown with In Their Own Words : The Space Race The Apollo , Mercury , and Gemini Missions , an unparalleled 7 Cassette audio suite that provides unfettered access to authentic Mission Control transmissions and interviews with the men behind them . Including a bonus 2 - hour DVD containing rare archival footage and newsreels , In Their Own Words : The Space Race utilizes vintage vivid documentary and narrations , revealing interviews , and audio clips of Presidents and pilots alike to chronicle all 17 Apollo missions , including the pioneering Mercury and Gemini programs . From blastoff to splashdown , you are there , experiencing Neil Armstrong 's lunar " leap for mankind " and the shocking suspense of Apollo 13 . America 's space program reverberates thrillingly throughout the In Their Own Words collection . " If only I had a dad … " Abandoned by his father as a small child , Rick Amitin survived a heartbreaking relationship with his mom and endured three stepfathers before he was nine years old . At fifteen , he set out on his own , traveling the world , searching for his dad , and finding it impossible to live happily without one . One misguided decision and painful consequence after another , Rick made his way through the military and answered the calling to ministry . He lifted people across the country and around the world while the wound of fatherlessness wreaked havoc on his relationships and pursuits , making him grapple with his lack of identity and sense of worth at every turn … that is , until his grand boy dropped out of heaven and into his arms and catalyzed his journey of healing . In If Only I Had a Dad , Rick 's raw - polish approach to sharing his story and hard - earned wisdom will help other fatherless men and women to : · Identify the True Cause of All the Messy Dysfunction · Discover the Power on the Other Side of the Pain · Become the Whole Person They Never Thought Possible If you have been searching for an answer to your father hunger , wanting the pain to stop , this book is for you . Turn your Wandering into Wonder and Your Longing into Love . It was late winter in 1935 , when the young Jewish girl gave birth to her baby girl , in the German town of Kitzigen . The child 's father , a soldier who decided that being the father of a Jewish child would not help his progression through the ranks of Hitler 's army , deserted her . Her family was not critical of her ; instead , they showed understanding and supported her through the pregnancy . She named the child , Ruth . Ruth 's grandfather ran a successful civil engineering company that dealt with the British manufacturer , Sir William Bromfield . Sir William spent most of his time visiting German enterprises that dealt with his engineering supply companies . Their business relationship had developed into a genuine friendship . For Jews , life became unbearable in Germany as it became the practice for any senior German Officer to just take whatever Jewish belongings they wanted . The ' brownshirts ' were even worse . Claiming to be patriots , they were nothing but organised hooligans and thugs with no respect for human life or belongings , especially if Jewish . The government followed Hitler 's ranting that all of Germany 's troubles had been brought about by the Jews and now , payback time ! When they seized Ruth 's grandfather 's house , the family had nowhere to live so he moved them to nearby Frankfurt , some 130 kilometres away . Their British friend , Sir William , helped them as he seemed to have influence because he found rooms for them in Frankfurt . Ruth 's mother never knew what he did for a living , but Sir William travelled a lot , and she overheard him and her father mentioning his brother in England . His brother was a Church of England minister in a country town about three hours north of London . By early 1938 the situation became unbearable for the Jewish community . Besides the constant harassment and beatings , many were arrested and thrown into prison for not showing allegiance to the Nazi party . Also , it was now impossible for them to leave Germany . Ruth 's grandfather suffered many beatings , and her grandmother became a nervous wreck . They had not been able to go to a synagogue for over six months , and the grandfather feared for Ruth and her mother . One day a fight developed just outside the building they lived in , and the police arrested Ruth 's grandfather . Shortly after his release from the police , the Gestapo came and arrested him , and they never saw him again . Ruth 's grandmother pleaded with Sir William to help . He tried to find some information , but as he began to attract attention to himself , he stopped his inquiries . Realising that she would never be with her husband and unable to bear the pain , Ruth 's grandmother climbed to the top of the five - storey building and jumped . Ruth 's mother was distraught . She had now lost both parents whom she loved , and she held fears for Ruth 's safety . She contacted William and pleaded for help and advice . He told her about the ' Kinder transport ' movement being set up by the Jewish and Quaker communities in England , which rescued Jewish children . The laws had been changed to allow unaccompanied Jewish children to enter England , provided they had a sponsor who would care for them . If Ruth 's mother surrendered Ruth , it would mean she would see Ruth again until after the war . After several excruciating days , she asked Sir William to find out what arrangements he could make . Although a minister in the Church of England , John Bromfield promised that Ruth would learn about the Jewish faith during her upbringing . If she accepted the offer , John would meet them at Frankfurt railway station the following Friday . He would not be allowed to leave the train , and she would have to place Ruth on the steps of the train where John would take her . John should be able to talk to her through the window before the train left for Holland and the channel crossing . She agreed to this arrangement . However , this arrangement tormented her over the next few days . What if she never saw Ruth again ? Is it best she should be brought up by strangers than risk the horrors the Nazi regime seemed to pose ? Ruth 's mother was troubled further by a big question . How did William arrange everything so fast ? William told her that when he was in England last , his brother told him that When Ruth 's mother told Sir William to make arrangements he got a message to his brother , John , and the reply came back . Sir William then told her he had contacts within the English defence community . What he did not tell her was that he was in effect an undercover intelligence agent . Early that Friday morning Ruth 's mother packed a small bag of clothes along with a little amount of food for Ruth 's journey . Ruth thought that she was going on a train with a nice man for a long holiday and one day soon , mummy would join her . Sir William walked to the station with them . He was particularly on edge that morning and kept looking over his shoulder . Ruth had her identification card with a ribbon around her neck and seemed happy like any three - year - old would be , going on a holiday . As there were many parents there to say goodbye to their children , the station platform was crowded . Most realised it would be the last time they would be with their children , and yet they held out hope for the future . A larger than usual contingent of soldiers on the station worried no one . In a brief conversation , John reassured Ruth 's mother that he and his wife , Madeline , would take good care of Ruth . He also told her he would make arrangements for a Rabbi to help with her education . Ruth 's mother finally felt relieved that Ruth would be taken care of by good and understanding people . Sir William had previously told John about Ruth 's family , so he was aware of the trauma she may have experienced . Two soldiers stood at each of the carriage steps and checked the identification of the children before they boarded the train . Two additional soldiers were on each set of steps with their rifles at the ready in case any of the adults tried to board the train or , any of the passengers attempted to leave the train . John took Ruth into his arms , and they returned to his seat so Ruth would be able to wave goodbye to her mother . As the train departed , three Gestapo officers grabbed hold of Sir William . John saw this in horror from the carriage and was even more horrified when Sir William broke free , and the Gestapo men shot him . If that was not distressing enough when Ruth 's mother leaned over William , they shot her through the head , and he heard them laugh and call out , " Die , Jewish whore ! " John was grateful Ruth had been distracted and did not see her mother murdered . Ruth noticed John muttering almost silently with tears in his eyes and making the sign of the cross . He hid his grief for Ruth 's sake . The journey to Rotterdam became the first chance for John to get to know Ruth . He was grateful William taught Ruth some rudimentary English even though while at school he had learnt a practical knowledge of the German language . He thought she should know him as " Uncle John , " and he would introduce Madeline as " Aunt Madeline . " It was a slow journey and relatively quiet until they reached the border crossing near Het Kwartier . The Dutch border police were very civil while the Germans extensively examined the documents of every passenger . They seemed to glare with disgust at every child . John was glad they did not search his bags as he had documents that included Ruth 's birth certificate , along with that of her mother and grandparents . Amongst the other documents was a declaration William had smuggled into Germany that would give John and Madeline the authority to act as Ruth 's guardian . Ruth 's mother had signed this and had it witnessed by a well - respected Rabbi in Frankfurt . Ruth wore a German Identity card around her neck , endorsed for one - way travel out of Germany . Ruth slept on the boat , and when they arrived in England , Madeline was waiting at the dock for them . The immigration official , realising the trauma the children had experienced , looked only briefly at each child 's identification before stamping it and letting them into England . Their only concern was that appropriate responsible people were on hand to care for them . Ruth and the Bromfields boarded the train for the two hours journey to London , where they had a three - hour wait for their train to Millbrook . It had been an unusually long day , and three - year - old Ruth was completely worn out . Even the excitement of a new home with a bedroom all to herself was not enough to keep her awake . John and Madeline looked at her asleep in bed , then knelt down and prayed that Ruth would not have to witness any more horror . The next morning , Ruth woke to a brand new world . From her room , she saw daylight , and she heard birds chirping outside her window . She slept in a room all by herself for the first time in her life , and it was a beautiful place . A vase of flowers on it in the corner and the chair in the other corner sat a huge teddy bear . The door open and in came Aunt Madeline . " Goog morgen darling , " she said , " Haben Sie eine gute sleep ? " Ruth laughed at the strange accent and replied in English , " Yes , thank you , I slept well . " Madeline knew at once that language would not be a problem . She took Ruth to the bathroom and after washing her and cleaning her teeth , they went down to the kitchen . John was sitting down with his bowl of porridge , and he said to her , " Sie sehen schön Heute morgen . " She laughed and replied . " Mummy said that I must always try to speak English now , and I must learn twenty more words every day . " John smiled and replied , " Well , from now on it will be English only . " Madeline put a bowl of porridge with a glass of juice in front of her , and Ruth replied . " Danke schön - er thank you . " They all laughed . After breakfast , Madeline suggested that she take Ruth into nearby Bedford and go shopping for a new wardrobe for Ruth . Her mother had tried to look after her , but , new children 's clothing along with toys were luxuries in Germany . It had been hard enough to gather food . The only toy Ruth owned was the shabby rag doll that she carried with her . She did , however , have two dresses , a coat , and a pair of gloves . She also had the shoes she wore and three sets of warm underwear . Madeline dressed Ruth , and they walked to the bus stop and caught the bus into Bedford . Ruth remembered in later years ' how people were all smiling and laughing . Frankfurt people never smiled ! Ruth liked Aunt Madeline and clung close to her with her hand held tight . Madeline loved the feeling as well . When they went into any shop , Madeline asked her every time what she thought of each item . At first , Ruth said she loved everything . Madeline realised that although she was only three years old , Ruth had been taught to appreciate every gift and not to " turn her nose up " at anything she didn 't particularly like . Madeline took her out and into a cake shop . She told Ruth to choose the cake she would like to eat . Ruth walked up and down the row of cupcakes many times . Madeline saw the smile she gave towards the cakes and the frown towards others . When Ruth finally made her choice , they sat at the table and Madeline ordered it along with tea for herself and a fizzy drink for Ruth . Madeline then explained to Ruth that just like the cakes , she must choose the dress and shoes she liked best . Ruth could have four dresses and two pairs of shoes . She could also have two pairs of slacks and some singlets and underpants . She could also have a swimsuit . Ruth would choose carefully , and Madeline was grateful that Ruth was now beginning to show her individuality . Although English was not Ruth 's natural language she chatted endlessly , and although she had a broad accent , Madeline understood most of what she said . After a morning 's shopping , they were heading back to the bus when Ruth saw all the dolls in the window of a toy shop . She said nothing , but she stopped and smiled as her eyes browsed all over the window display . Madeline smiled and said to her , " Uncle John may get mad at me , but you should have one new doll . " Ruth jumped for joy and said " Danke ! Can I have that one please ? " She pointed to a small doll in the corner . Madeline bought it and all the way to the bus stop Ruth held it tight . Madeline thought it was probably the first new toy she ever had . When they arrived back at the vicarage , Ruth ran inside with the parcels and shouted , " Uncle John ! Look what Aunt Madeline bought for me . Clothes ! Dresses ! Shoes ! Gloves ! A doll ! Underpants ! All for me ! I am so lucky Uncle John , to be living here with you and Aunt Madeline . " John also had called his Bishop . He needed to be clear on the direction he planned to take on Ruth 's upbringing . With both the Bishop 's and the Rabbi 's blessings , John thought that Ruth should be baptised as soon as possible and attend Sunday school . At the same time , she should spend a part of Saturday with a Jewish family and occasionally join them on Friday evening for " Shabbat - dinner " . The church itself fascinated her . Ruth loved playing outside , and she took three days before she had explored the entire grounds . Madeline made it appear that she was by herself , but , while she played outside , Madeline watched her like a hawk from the rectory windows . Their first Sunday was significant , and yet Ruth went about things as normal . She woke up , went to the bathroom , cleaned her teeth and dressed for breakfast . All by herself ! Ruth loved choosing what clothes to wear , especially as they always smelled nice and clean . After breakfast , she heard the church bell for the first time . Madeline explained to her that John was the priest of the Village and on Sunday mornings people came to pray and learn about God in the church . John helped them pray and learn . As they walked over to the church , Ruth saw many people going in . She noticed some children as well . They sat in the middle of the church , and most of the ladies waved to Madeline and smiled at Ruth . Ruth thought this was exciting . Whenever she was in a crowd in Germany , everyone was frowning and looking around . In this place , no one frowned , and everyone smiled . Suddenly everyone stood ! Then a voice from the rear of the church spoke . Immediately the church filled with music . She didn 't know it at the time , but that was the organ starting . Then everyone started singing , real loud ! Ruth looked around ( Madeline had sat her at the end of the pew so she could see everything ) . Some people were walking in from the door , holding books and singing . She saw Uncle John immediately after the man holding a wooden cross high . She tried running to him , but Madeline held her hand tight . After that , she did not take her eyes off him for the whole service . Everyone knelt down , and Uncle John gave them something to eat , and the other two people gave them something to drink from a shiny glass . She knelt next to Aunt Madeline , and when Uncle John came in front of them , he gave Aunt Madeline a piece of the bread ( it was a tiny bit ) . He then put his hands on Ruth 's head . Ruth didn 't know what it meant but was sure it must have been significant . Finally , during what was to be the last song , the people who were with Uncle John , started walking out of the church while Uncle John followed . All the other people moved and followed them . When they came to the door , Uncle John stood there shaking everyone 's hand and talking to them . Madeline held her hand tight as she spoke to the other women outside the church . A couple of the ladies asked Ruth her name . Then a small boy came up to her and said . " Little girl , can you play with me sometimes ? " she looked up at Madeline , who then said . " Of course , you can " . Ruth turned to the boy and said , " My name is Ruth , what is yours ? " Ruth had made her first English friend . The Bishop pondered for a while , then he advised John . " If we baptised the child , her soul would be safe . If she were exposed to the Jewish faith and eventually took her Bat Mitzvah , it would not be a sign of rejection of Christ , as Jesus was a member of the Jewish faith . When a Jew turns to Christ , he is not asked to reject Moses ' teachings . " John replied that as long as there was no hiding the reasons for this journey , his peers being kind and loving Christians , would accept this . If he and Madeline adopted Ruth after the appropriate waiting time , and he addressed the congregation , he felt it would be a living example of Christian love . The Bishop agreed and suggested that after John met with the Rabbi , a meeting should be arranged between the three of them and an unofficial memorandum of understanding be drawn up . John agreed . The meeting with the Rabbi the next day went even better . The Rabbi liked the approach that John proposed and did not find fault with it . He appreciated that John had taken Ruth in , and he agreed with her being baptised . If John were to be her father as a child , she should be raised in a Christian family . Exposing her to the faith of her mother and grandparents was the right thing . After Ruth 's Bat Mitzvah , she should be free to accept either faith or both . The Bishop and the Rabbi joined John , Madeline and Ruth the next week , then formulated the private memorandum of understanding . In a surprising move , the Rabbi asked the Bishop if he could attend Ruth 's baptism . The Bishop agreed and asked could he attend her Bat Mitzvah . They then all prayed for guidance and asked for God 's blessing on this unusual arrangement . They arranged for Ruth 's baptism to take place in a month 's time . John advised his congregation of the agreement and announced that Rabbi Jacobs would be present . The Bishop would perform the ceremony . This way the congregation would know the Bishop 's approval and the Rabbi 's acceptance . They also would invite the Goldbergs , the Jewish family who would be sharing the Shabbat - dinner . In less than three weeks of Ruth 's arrival in Milford , she had developed a small circle of friends . They were mainly children of John 's parishioners , but through Madeline 's sewing club , Ruth was also exposed to other kids . Madeline also allowed Ruth to play with other children in their homes . Her English was becoming perfect , and she rarely used German words . Her best friend was Jody , whose Dad was in the army . The solicitor then made enquiries , and he advised them on the direction to take . It would possibly take six months to sort out . It seemed that after studying the rules , Ruth would need to be declared " abandoned " and made a Ward of the State . John and Madeline could then adopt her . All the preliminaries would need to be in place and all relevant declarations in the hands of the court . At the court hearing , there would be three separate rulings . Ruth would be declared abandoned . Then the court would appoint her a Ward of the State , followed by the granting of John and Mary 's adoption of her . All three rulings would take place in the same court and immediately follow the previous hearing . English law could be cumbersome , but with correct steering , the desired outcome could be achieved . When John first addressed his congregation , he saw the confusion on the faces of some of them . They all praised and supported John for taking Ruth in and saving her from certain death , but some were confused about the " duel religion " situation . Madeline listened to their reaction and told John later . The one comment that amused both of them was that one woman had been overheard saying , " Being a Jew is not as bad as being a bloody Catholic ! " John brought them all around by ensuring all the readings over the next few weeks mentioned that Jesus came from a Jewish Family , and all the early disciples were Jews . The most convincing readings came from the Gospel where Jesus prayed in the synagogue . He drove this home further with Paul 's letter to the Hebrews . On the day of Ruth 's Baptism , Madeline prepared a celebration feast . She was careful not to have any food that could be objectionable to the Rabbi and other Jews present . Madeline was already aware of the need to avoid ham and bacon from the day Ruth first arrived . When they entered the church , they felt honoured to see it packed . Rabbi Jacobs and the Goldberg 's sat in the front pew . ( The Bishop had discreetly told the usher to keep two pews for any members of the Jewish community ) John also noticed the Roman Catholic Priest and some of the nuns also there . They all wore street clothes because Catholics at that time did not go into Protestant churches . Other churches also had representatives mixed in with the congregation . The reception developed into an exciting affair . Everyone ( except for the Catholic Priest and nuns ) stayed for it . John made an extra effort for Ruth to meet the Goldbergs and their son Jacob . Jacob was just a little older than her . The Bromfield family were wealthy industrialists who for the last three generations ran Bromfield Industries , a group of engineering and manufacturing companies . Traditionally , the family kept only a small proportion of their wealth to themselves . Most of the profits went to the Bromfield Charitable Trust , which supported many charitable organisations . The company 's structure allowed for William as well as his brother , John , to be uninvolved in the daily running of its enterprises . John had entered the Church , while William pursued his interest in innovating machinery development . William had developed a reputation as a leading designer of farming equipment and other mechanical methods of farming . He had travelled extensively studying farming methods all over Europe and had established an extensive network of agriculture equipment manufacturers . William had been contacted by the War Department early in 1934 and asked if he would be willing to continue to travel to Germany . By using his connections , he was to note what developments were taking place . With the passing of time , this would be the basis of vital intelligence should war break out . Later on , the War Department asked him to map out the locations of the German factories . Doing this increased his risk as he would then be conveying military information . They gave him a small camera , but he committed most of the information to memory and placed the locations on maps each time he returned home . William did not raise any suspicion with the Germans until he was seen drinking coffee with Ruth 's grandfather . Although it was a casual observation , a minor official thought it worthwhile to find out who and why this foreigner was having coffee with a Jew . It then became apparent that as William 's business caused him to visit manufacturers , he warranted further investigation . William remained under surveillance for the rest of that journey . The Gestapo continued their investigation , so they arrested the Jew William had been seen having coffee with . They grilled him with all the force that they could . Even though he knew nothing of William 's activities , other than being an English manufacturer . He was thought to have died under interrogation That is when William told her about the possibility of getting her young child out of Germany . He sent a message to England requesting the paperwork that would be needed to admit Ruth into England . When the woman agreed to send Ruth away , William crossed the border to France , where he met with a British courier . He also sent a message to his brother . His brother replied almost immediately and made arrangements to be on the next " Kindertransport . " When William crossed back into Germany , the Gestapo expected him . Their agents in Paris had seen him receive a package from the courier . They followed him to determine where he was going before they apprehended him , planning to investigate what the messenger gave him . Leaving the train at Frankfurt William caught a taxi , and the Gestapo followed him . Three blocks from the station a truck carrying a full load of bottles failed to stop at an intersection and crashed into the car carrying the Gestapo . The last thing the truck driver saw was the flash of the pistol , the injured Gestapo member held in his hand . William and Ruth 's mother returned to the window , and as the train started to pull out , one of the Gestapo agents recognised William . Realising it was the Gestapo , William wanted to move away from the train and Ruth 's mother so she would not appear to be with him . They called out for him to halt , but he kept moving . Three shots rang out , and the Englishman lay dead on the platform . Ruth 's mum saw all this and ran to help William . As she bent over him , she was shot with one bullet in her head . John would only need to attend board meetings four times a year and therefore , would not need to have any active role in the daily running of the company . He did , however , received regular reports and kept a keen interest in the " Water Storage and Transportation . " division . Travel with Beth on a journey through machine guns & mafia , romance & heartbreak , dreams & struggles and find keys to unlock your destiny all along the way . " Beth Olson is a great friend of mine . I know her well . In her new book , you can follow a life story of difficult decisions she made in following her passion , knowing God intimately . You 'll also learn how to apply what she learned for practical use in your own journey . I wish the world had more than just one Beth Olson in it . " - Bob Phillips , Former Pastor with David Wilkerson at Times Square Church , Teaching Pastor and Director of Academy for Cultural Transformation at Heartland Church " Diary of a Missionary Kid by Beth Olson is a must read for anyone who desires to live a wide eyed adventure with God . The journey of Beth Olson is the ripe fruit of a life courageously and honestly lived . " - Leif Hetland , Founder and President of Global Mission Awareness , Author of Seeing Through Heaven 's Eyes William Charker was born in Winchester , Hampshire , England on 16th of December , 1774 . The fourteenth child of a family of fifteen , his father , Edward Charker , a Tallow Chandler and his mother Elizabeth ( nee Barr ) . The Charkers were wealthy traders and yeoman farmers and so William well educated and independent . On the 7th of December , 1800 he inexplicably became involved ( with an accomplice ) in a substantial burglary at the dwelling house of Thomas Evans at St Mary Lambeth stealing goods to the value of £ 33 . 6 . 0 . The two were arrested and tried on 25th of March , 1801 at the Surrey Assizes . Each sentenced to only seven years even though their crime being a capital offence . At his trial , his name given as William Charker , alias William Chalker , was is the first known use of the alias which became his general name in Australia , except on Legal Documents and Government Correspondence where he always used Charker . Hulks were retired naval or merchant ships that would still float but considered unseaworthy . In most cases , all the upper superstructure ( Masts , etc . ) had been removed and most of the below deck space converted into gaol cells . Because of the poor condition of the hulks , more guards were necessary as well as the continual outbreaks of disease created an unacceptable risk to the greater population . The First Fleet is the name given to the 11 ships which left Great Britain on the 13th of May 1787 to found a penal colony that became the first European settlement in Australia . The fleet consisted of two Royal Navy vessels , three store ships , and six convict transports , carrying more than one thousand convicts , marines and seamen , and a vast quantity of stores . From England , the Fleet sailed southwest to Rio de Janeiro , then east to Cape Town and via the Great Southern Ocean to Botany Bay , arriving in mid - January 1788 , taking two hundred and fifty - two days from departure to final arrival . William went first to the County Gaol and then on to the prison hulk HMS Protée . Protée started as a sixty - four gun ship of the line of the French Navy , launched in 1772 . Captured by the Royal Navy on the 24th of February 1780 and converted to serve as a prison ship in 1799 , then finally broken up in 1815 . " The conditions on board the floating gaols were appalling ; the standards of hygiene were so poor that disease spread quickly . The living quarters were so bad that it was like living in a sewer . The hulks were cramped , and we had to sleep in fetters . We had to live on one deck that was barely high enough to let a man stand . The officers lived in cabins in the stern . " " I felt elated when finally in January 1802 , I was transferred to the convict transport Coromandel . Us convicts were housed below decks on the prison deck and often further confined behind bars . In many cases , we were restrained in chains and only allowed on deck for fresh air and exercise . Conditions were cramped , and we slept in hammocks . " As they sailed south to and past the Canary Islands , the daily routine was beginning to set in . At four in the early morning , the prisoner cooks ( three in numbers ) were admitted on deck and at five - thirty . The captain of his division ( the convict nominated as a senior convict ) joined the other captains on the upper deck for the purpose of filling wash tubs while the remaining prisoners commenced taking up their beds and hammocks . By six , William and the first half of the prisoners were admitted for the purpose of washing their person . Within half an hour the other half were allowed to wash . Breakfast was at eight and during breakfast , the ship 's crew were cleaning upper deck and water closets William managed to keep his food down , but the ship became awash with vomit . The seasoned sailors joked about how convicts predicament . It must be realised that the majority of the convicts had never been to sea and were still recovering from the cramped conditions aboard the prison hulks . " The clouds seem to rise from the water , turning day into night . Then suddenly the wind began to howl , and initially the ship lurched dangerously to starboard before the helmsman could correct the list . I thought that we were goners . Then came the driving rain , It was so fierce I was sure it was cutting into the deck timbers above them . The unbearable stench of the vomit from my fellow prisoners seemed to cover the whole deck . We would have preferred to be on deck instead of in that hell hole we were confined . " The journey across the southern Atlantic was reasonably uneventful until they drew nearer to the Cape . The wind increased dramatically causing the ship to pitch and roll . Even the sight of land on the port side did little to raise the spirits of William although after they had sailed a day into the Indian Ocean , the weather improved . " We all lined the deck . Prisoners , officers , crew as well as the free settlers . The body was on a plank leaning over the side and covered with the Queen 's flag . As the captain said those words that committed the body to the sea , two of the crew raised one end of the plank , and the lifeless body slid from underneath the flag and into the deep . " As they sailed through the heads , the captain decided to allow groups of convicts on deck . Each group was allowed fifteen minutes . The captain knew that if he kept them confined he would run the risk of rioting because if they saw a glimpse of their destination , they would start to relax and possibly an air of excitement would replace the feelings of despair some must have been feeling . " It was unbelievable . " William later recalled " This big harbour that seemed to go for miles . The soft green grass behind the mixture of rocky shores and small golden beaches and the thick bushland behind the shores made this place seem like paradise . " " The healthy state in which the Coromandel and Perseus arrived requires my particularly pointing out the masters of those ships to your notice . It appears by the log books , surgeon 's diaries and the unanimous voice of every person on board those ships that the utmost kindness to the convicts . This , with the proper application of the comforts Government had so liberally provided for them and the good state of health all the people were in , induced the master of the Coromandel to proceed without stopping at any port . He arrived here in four months and one day , bringing every person in a state of high health , and fit for actual labour . And although it appears that the Perseus necessarily stopped at Rio and the Cape , yet the convicts were in as good condition as those on board the Coromandel . Nor can I omit the great pleasure felt by myself and the other visiting officers at the thanks expressed by the prisoners and passengers for the kind attention and care they had received from the masters and surgeons , who returned , an unusual quantity of the articles laid in by Government for the convicts during the voyage . " " The smells of shore are amazing . Clean , crisp air , the pleasant aromas of real food cooking but most importantly the lack of stench from humans living so close for so long . I could begin to see that it wasn 't going to be as bad as I had thought to live in this so called hell hole . I see that it may be possible eventually to have a real life in this colony if I behaved myself . " Having William assigned to their farm was a Godsend . William was a hard worker and built trust with them . He was always able to make positive improvements , and because he had been raised on farms by his yeoman farmer parents he had a natural gift for mixed farming . " If we plant the vegetable patch between the house and the storage shed , we should have more control over where the animals may roam , " he remarked to Mary shortly after his arrival . This untimely led to in 1803 , Jonas Archer fled to avoid his creditors and Mary became the sole owner of the farm . Mary always had a liking for William , so it was no surprise that in a short time after Jonas left , she married William . The farm was then known as Chalker 's Farm . Governor William Bligh reached Sydney on 6th August 1806 . He had been sent to replace Governor King , who was looking forward to returning to England . ( It was thought that he was disappointed that during his time in office , the officers of the corps had overridden his authority and left him somewhat dejected . Resident farmers of the Hawkesbury region , in particular , had complained to Bligh about the high prices being charged by the Corps for staple goods . The restrictions on availability of mutton by McArthur and , therefore , the high prices for meat further raised their concerns along with the fact that the Corps had attempted to introduce alcoholic liquor ( that the Corps had full control of ) as a currency . This led the Corps being often referred to as " The Rum Corps " The name being a misnomer as whiskey was the only alcohol used as currency . Bligh started to attempt to stop these practices and tried to restrict the commercial activities of the Corps but had little success . The impasse continued until on the 26th January 1808 Major Johnson ( egged on by McArthur ) led a troop in full military regalia accompanied by the regimental band to government house and arrest Bligh . Major Johnson installed himself as the acting governor . By 1806 , they were prospering , but all was about to change with a devastating flood in March of that year in which the settlers lost everything that could not be quickly moved to higher ground . William was driving his stock when he heard the call " HELP . " Looking toward the overflowing river , he saw three of his neighbours struggling in the torrent along with a small child . Without pausing , William ran to the riverbank where his little boat was tied up and rowed out to the middle of the river . He rowed to the child first and after he was aboard William then rowed to save the three men in turn . When it overturned , the adults drowned , but William swam to the shore with the child on his back . He was rewarded with a Conditional Pardon in August 1806 . Conditional pardon meant that although free he was not able to leave the colony until his pardon became absolute . To be pardoned said that William was no longer to be regarded as a thief sentenced to 7 years , but instead , a free man whereas Mary was always to be considered as an ex - criminal . Along with his Absolute Pardon , William received a grant of 30 acres of land at the Cooks River but did not take up the grant . Instead , in August 1812 , he applied for and received a grant of sixty acres at South Creek . The South Creek farm was used mostly to raise cattle while he pursued his other sources of income . Lawson and Wentworth , as well as being neighbours , were good friends . They were both visionaries who saw the need for the colony 's further expansion in the area . The Blue Mountains to the west had become a barrier to this development of the settlement which was now requiring more farming land to meet its needs , particularly after the droughts of 1812 and 1813 . Some even believed that the aboriginals were of a sub - human race and therefore not capable of knowing such things . William had long since made friends with a lot of them and as such he appreciated their knowledge of the land . However , he was unable to influence those around him to allow the aboriginals to show the way . Blaxland , Wentworth , and Lawson led an expedition party , which included four servants , four pack horses , and five dogs . Two of the four men who assisted the party have been identified as James Burne , a guide and kangaroo hunter , and Samuel Fairs , a convict who arrived in Australia in 1809 . The two others also thought to be convicts , remain unidentified . The party left from Blaxland 's South Creek farm near the modern suburb of St Marys in western Sydney , on 11 May 1813 and crossed the Nepean River later that day . They made their way over the mountains , following the ridges , and completed the crossing in twenty - one days . The explorers ' success has been attributed to the methodical approach and decision to travel on the ridges instead of through the valleys . The three explorers and two of their servants would set out each day , leaving the other two men at their campsite , and mark out a trail , before turning back later in the day to cut a path for the horses and allow the rest of the party to progress . The party first saw the plains beyond the mountains from Mount York . They continued to Mount Blaxland 25 km south of the site of Lithgow , on the western side of the mountains . From this point , Blaxland declared there was enough forest or grassland " to support the stock of the colony for thirty years , " while Lawson called it " the best - watered Country of any I have seen in the Colony . " The party then turned back , making the return journey in six days . The lighter weights always fight first . The place was filled up now . My coach holds the ropes open and I step into the ring . He tells me this , " He didn 't warm up . He 's cold . Knock him out . " The ref asks me how I feel . I tell him I 'm dying . He laughs and says , " You 'll be all right . " Now all this time , the fear is indescribable . It had nothing to do with this kid or anything . There is something about getting into a ring surrounded by people watching you and fighting . I 'm thinking it 's him or me . Over and over , like a drumbeat in my head . I felt like a cornered rat . Scared mean and viscous . The bell rings . Like most fights I just remember fragments . It was the same combination , the whole fight , three quick , hard jabs and a right hand . The first knock down I thought he slipped . I didn 't feel any contact . It felt like I was punching a sheet hanging on a line - - I was punching right through him . The second knockdown was - - I started to get excited . I realized that I could get out of there right now ! I never wanted anything so bad in my life . Her lips were parted and her eyes were shiny . She looked hungry . They all did . I felt this huge rush of adrenalin . I started to jump up and down in place . The murder came up in my eyes and I turned my eyes on my opponent . I had picked up the count at five . Now here is the peroration of my whole story . I saw an opening , a space between his head gear and his gloves . It was like the clouds parting for the sun . Time warped , slipped away , disappeared , it was a moment frozen in time . I was in hyper focus . I decided that my glove would fit through that little opening . I pulled the trigger and knocked him out . At the moment of impact I twisted my hip into the punch . I put my ass into it . A perfect right hand and the hardest punch I ever threw and I could really punch . That punch would have knocked out any amateur anywhere . I looked into the audience . Two teenage girls , about 18 , were looking at me , their eyes shiny with lust . I thought : so that 's the way it is - power ! I didn 't prance around with my gloves held high . He was just a kid . But it was me or him . And I decided it had to be me . So I hug this kid . He looked resentful . My coach is spreading the ropes for me . I tell him , " I still don 't like it . " Then I start snickering , " I could learn to like it . " He tells me , " They won 't all be this easy . " I beat the next guy . He ran and held . There was a three hour break until the finals . I was tired , I was emotionally spent . I didn 't want that last fight . And I had seen the guy fight and I really didn 't know how I was going to beat him . I later learnt that he had lied to get into the tournament . He had 7 fights going in , instead of five . I had one , as I said . One of the guys he beat told me that . He stopped me with a right hand that hurt me and I got an eight count and I rushed in and got caught again . I never went down . RSC . I 'm not really a fighter . I made myself do it . I wanted to be like my friend , Jamie Ollenberger . I admired fighters . I got a very late start and what success I did have was because I had very heavy hands . Once I asked a very good retired fighter and trainer , Hedgman Lewis , a welterweight active in the late sixties , if I could even call myself a fighter . He said , " You got in there . You fought . " On Friday the 23rd of October 1987 my husband Patrick and I closed the door on our London flat and embarked on an adventure that was to last for 27 years . At the end of it , our lives would be transformed beyond all recognition . Of course , we knew none of that at the time . All we knew was that we were setting out , with enormous excitement , to complete the formalities and furnish and settle in to our new holiday home in the Languedoc . Three hours or so later we reached Calais , with our van and trailer loaded to the gunnels with household goods . We lumbered off the ferry and , ignoring a small official with a large hat who kept bellowing ' Fret ! Fret ! ' at us , we made our determined way to the domestic immigration channel . The small official pursued us , and when he paused for breath I explained politely that , no , we weren 't freight : we were an inoffensive English couple taking some household goods to a maison secondaire . We had all the paperwork , I added helpfully . For a second this gave the small official pause , then he brightened . ' Douanes , Douanes ' he said , gesturing towards a dilapidated hut off to one side of the docks . Dutifully , we made our way to the Douanes , the customs shed . Luckily a savvy friend had put me wise . ' You 'll need an inventory , ' she said . ' And make sure it 's detailed , if you want to get through customs without too much delay . ' It was good advice . So , taking a deep breath and a large notebook I plunged into the depths of what had been our dining room , but now looked very much like a furniture repository . Two hours later I emerged , bleary - eyed but satisfied with my labours . ' Two arm chairs , leather , ' I had written . ' One sofa , matching arm chairs ; three side tables ; two lamps with brown ceramic bases ; two lamps with orange ceramic bases , five drinking glasses , green , small ; six drinking glasses , green , large ; six knives with red handles ; six forks with red handles ; six dessert spoons with red handles ; five tea spoons with red handles … ' and so it went on , for page after page , and all copied , in triplicate , illicitly on the office photocopier . We produced the document . It ran to 27 pages ; it was written in English with a French translation for each item . It landed on the ledge with a satisfying thump . Shannon Reber : I 'll be in the middle of writing this glorious scene and realize I have no food in the house ! Life . I am an albino , legally blind because of it . I grew up believing I was nothing . So I wrote to make myself feel like . . . " This the best website out there for authors to showcase their work . The interview section was fantastic . I sold two books immediately . It is very hard for an author to write a book . Then the publishing company wants additional money to help you promote it . Your website has given me . . . All Brags " I have been very pleased with your professional services . It is easy to add a book or create a classified ad - your forms and instructions are thorough and your system works flawlessly . You post the books in a very timely manner and the display looks lovely and professional . I am . . . All Brags " I wanted to write a few things to show my appreciation for Lenka 's List . This site is a wonderful site for authors to get the exposure they need . I think it 's an exceptional forum for everyone who has a story to tell in a book format . I love this site . " " Any opportunity to promote and find out about new authors / books is valuable . This new site is visually attractive and helps me connect . Thanks so much for putting it together , Lenka ! 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All Brags " Lenka Lee is dedicated to supporting authors in areas of writing and publishing . Her website stands out among other similar websites because she is truly interested in helping you ; the writer or author . Lenkaslist . com offers a user friendly atmosphere . Lenka Lee adds a personal touch to the website through her . . . All Brags " Let me tell you , ever since I " discovered " Lenka 's List , I 've been " braggin ' " about it ( and her ) to every writer I know . For most of us Indie authors hankering to get " discovered " , Lenka 's List is the light at the end of the tunnel . At least it has been for me . Her website was / is . . . All Brags " There are hundreds of websites out there that offer a place where authors can promote their work , find new readers , market , etc . Most are time consuming , complicated , and take authors away from what should be their primary focus - writing . Lenka 's List provides an uncomplicated and painless alternative to those complex websites . . . . All Brags " I am very honored to have been interviewed by Lenka Lee . The questions she asked were intelligent , and thought provoking . Lenka 's List is an excellent web site for authors , bloggers , and readers to connect and help each other . Authors can request reviews from bloggers and readers can discover new Indie . . . All Brags Lenka 's List is one of the most supportive websites toward authors . Although a newer site , it surpasses any in terms of exposure and innovation . The author is truly respected and promoted well . I know the founder and co - founder of Lenka 's List . They are both creative people , writers themselves and dedicated . . . All Brags " Congratulations to Lenka 's List for creating a comprehensive and enticing showcase for authors . In a world where marketing sites at times fail to live up to expectations , Lenka goes above and beyond . She presents her cadre of authors in various lights , and not simply the one dementional look as a . . . All Brags " Writing is a doddle compared to the daunting challenge that is social media . I had no idea about websites supporting writers until Lenka found me and invited me on to her list . I owe her a huge debt of thanks , and I 'd certainly recommend her to any newbie indie writer . . . All Brags " I love how Lenka 's List supports authors and artists . They are fast , friendly , and easy to work with , and finding sites where I can help spread the word about my book always makes me smile . Thank for all you do ! " SmileA smile offers a gateway to understanding and sharing . A Smile A smile may sometimes take awhile . There are even days when a smile just will not shine . Why smile , you say , on such a . . . Sarah and Legion free weekend . . . Sarah and Legion ( mybook . to / sarahandlegion ) is a free download this weekend . I never really planned on writing this one . When I wrote " Mackenzie : An Assassin 's Tale " it was primarily to purge out the darkness . . . Shanghai , Part 5 - Nanjing RoadImage Courtesy of Sally Cronin Tummies full , when we left the restaurant around 12 : 45 . , the weather had become humid . http : / / www . travelchinaguide . com / cityguides / shanghai / west - nanjing - road . htm ( what 's on offer ) The shopping area is pedestrian - friendly with an occasional trolley / mini tour bus . Prominent . . . Dream : A Song for YouEver now and again I have a dream so vivid , so affecting , that I have to write it down . I 've decided to take some of these dreams and share them . Details will likely be altered . . .
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Contradiction is a riveting and dynamic account in which Charles Carpenter unveils the core of why at risk youth become attracted to gang subculture . Charles Carpenter shares his personal experience regarding his attraction to gang life . Profound insight is offered regarding loyalty and the ugly face of betrayal . Charles delves into how the catalyst that motivated his change was when a fellow member of his former gang violated the code of honor and respect by having a capricious affair with his wife ; this transgression was the foundation that led to Charles Carpenter 's conviction of second degree murder . After years of living a destructive life style which continued to yield negative fruitage , Charles Carpenter vowed to make positive changes in his life . He made a conscious effort to change the behavior patterns that ultimately shaped the gang member that he diligently aspired to become . Charles Carpenter outlines the anatomy of his change and describes what is required to learn positive behaviors . Contradiction is a riveting and dynamic account in which Charles Carpenter unveils the core of why at risk youth become attracted to gang subculture . Charles Carpenter shares his personal experience regarding his attraction to gang life . Profound insight is offered regarding loyalty and the ugly face of betrayal . Author of the critically acclaimed autobiography Handcuffed . The book outlines Charles Carpenter upbringing and his subsequent membership to the faction of Crips ( 3 - 5 - 7 ) located in Pomona California . The book Handcuffed was penned while Mr . Carpenter was housed in California 's maximum security prison - New Folsom . Handcuffed offers profound insight into the ramifications of witnessing domestic violence as a youth , and explore the gang subculture in an attempt to raise awareness for any struggling with destructive criminal behavior . Charles Carpenter 's story is raw and full of emotion . It is so important to reassure your loved ones during the early stages of this disease . The more worked up they get , the more inept and useless they feel . Nobody should feel this way , especially those in the early stages of dementia . It 's not easy to be patient under normal circumstances . It 's even harder the fifteenth time you 're looking for a cell phone or car keys . You must force yourself to always exercise patience . If finding their phone is important to them , then it should be important to you . Telling them not to worry about it , or it 'll show up , doesn 't help at all . You might as well be talking to a wall . Finding a lost item will become a fixation for them . Drop whatever you 're doing and find the item . Be sure to include them in your search . Chances are they 're going to follow you around anyway . This is a memoir of my journey caring for two loved ones , and experiencing the loss of a third loved one to this terrible disease . Witness with me , up - close and personal , the different stages of dementia - from early signs , diagnoses , progression , and finally the heart wrenching end . Learn from my experiences to identify the early symptoms sooner . And , more importantly , learn how to care for your loved one so that they never walk alone … As the sunset over the headland at Kings Beach , an elderly couple watched as the passenger liner " Sun Beauty " sailed out to sea on its next voyage . The couple were in the twilight of their lives , and they had shared a beautiful life together . They had earlier that day , spent time with their children , grandchildren , and their great granddaughter while they celebrated their 38th wedding anniversary . They shared a bottle of Muscadean , a white wine produced from white Muscat grapes grown in Ballandean , hence the name . A light , easy drinking aromatic semi - sweet white makes it perfect served chilled for that warm summer day picnic . They discovered the wine on a weekend visiting Queensland 's Granite Belt wine region and , at once it became " their wine . " Later on , the owners of the winery opened an outlet at nearby Mooloolaba , and while he could still drive , he managed to call in about once a month . When the sun had set , he dozed off in his favourite chair , placed to take in the picturesque outlook over the entrance to Moreton Bay . She was comfortable with him dozing off , and she knew he was at peace . Although now in his eighties , they both liked to look back at the uncertain times , at the peak of World War two when they first met , and how over time , their love grew . Although the population considered Australia to be safe at the start of the war , as Europe and Germany were on the other side of the world . Attitudes changed with Japan entering the war . Japan shared the same Ocean as Australia . Although Japan and Australia were successful trading parties before the war , with Japan attacking Pearl Harbour and making menacing overtures towards Singapore , Australia was now at war with Japan . When it became seriously believed by the government and military that Japan would attack Australia , it needed to be quickly decided what areas should be protected . Because Australia was a vast island with the majority of the population confined to the southeast , in February 1942 General Ivan Mackay drew a line on the map of Australia . This line stretched from the coast north of Brisbane to west of Melbourne . Although no record of the " Brisbane Line " was being activated , many believed , ( and some still do ) that the line was implemented and all of the country north and west of the line was to be abandoned . Because of its proximity to the Pacific battlefronts , Brisbane was the crucial point for resupplying the troops in battle . The Americans developed it as a Major Naval base , including a vast submarine base . In 1942 , General McArthur set up his headquarters for the Pacific in Brisbane . Brisbane needed a civilian population to make sure the smooth running of so many essential services . The government and the military were in a " catch 22 " situation . Secrecy needed to be maintained for security , and yet , the population needed to be reassured of their safety . This , compounded by the military distrust of elected politicians , as well as the parliamentarian 's need to placate their constituents . A unique approach obviously was needed . The member for Port Macquarie and now the defence minister , David Millar called an urgent meeting of his department heads to see if a solution could be found . Because of some of the difficulties , the meeting was held in Sydney . As it happened , in the same hotel that the defence department rented rooms , the senior media lecturer at Queensland University was with colleagues in a get together of their own . Tom Walker was the former editor of a major newspaper who also had extensive experience producing newsreel films . Tom and David were friends from the University of New South Wales , where they both studied . When the defence Minister ran into the media lecturer in the hallway , they made time to have a few drinks and reminisce about their university days . They finished their talk with Tom agreeing to put a concrete proposal together . He needed to show how it would also work including the resources needed . This plan was required to be able to be presented to the War Cabinet by the end of the week . He approached the task as if preparing a lecture for his students . He defined exactly the end achievement needed . What would be the best way of achieving the result ? What resources are needed ? He was able to present a written proposal two days later . e . A driver who must be competent in small boats and all types of motor vehicles . Would also be an aid in labouring and any other tasks as required ? 6 . The budget would be set by the Minister and vehicles , camera and other equipment to be supplied by the military where available . But the unit would buy directly when needed . 7 . The Military are to supply accommodation including living , office and workshop space independently from the military accommodation . The Military is required to provide security for this area . To his surprise , Tom received a call from the minister that afternoon is telling him it had been approved without alteration . A meeting was set up the next day with the minister and his senior staff . The chief of the defence forces would also be attending . David arranged for Tom to use a parliamentary office in Canberra to enable him to get the ball rolling . Some of the minister 's staff members were allocated to generate all the legal and performance documents needed so that Tom could start with the recruitment . His first need would be for a personal assistant . David assured Tom that , as he would be operating a division of the Ministry of Defence and all members of his unit would be paid by the department , so would all expenses . In fact , even though there were shortages of materials and other supplies , Jill would order everything under the auspices of the department . Therefore , all suppliers would , under the wartime regulations , have no alternative than to supply the unit in preference to all others . This would also mean that the unit had priority over the three military branches . David arranged for an interview and within two minutes , Tom decided that she was ideal , and she wanted the job . Jill transferred to Tom 's unit that afternoon . Jill was an extremely good - looking woman . She stood about six feet tall with a body would make most Australian women envious . The meeting with Bill concluded remarkably successful , although he advised Tom that he needed a week to tidy up his current projects . He did , however , know of a young cameraman who would be ideal for them . Tom agreed to give Bill the week to tidy up and then , he was to join him at Eagle Farm the following Monday . Joe was thirty - years old and married to Joan , a nurse working in the burns unit at Royal Brisbane Hospital . Ninety percent of her patients were R . A . N . and RAAF personnel , injured while on duty in the Pacific . Both were career orientated although , Joe wanted to join the army . Jill met Joan several years ago at a conference , so on Saturday when she arrived in Brisbane , Jill gave her a call . She heard about Joe resigning , and she asked if he would see Tom before he enlisted . They made an appointment to meet with Tom on a Tuesday afternoon . Tom , being familiar with Joe 's work , looked forward to meeting him . On Tuesday afternoon , the Minister arrived in Brisbane and called on Tom . He was impressed with the speed the unit set up . Tom explained that they could not arrange for film equipment until Bill came on board , the following Monday . He explained to David that the only position not filled was the driver . During the first week , Jill set up important meetings with the local Military commanders , where the Minister explained what was about to happen . He instructed them to brief Tom on the entire military ( army , naval and air force ) tasks surrounding Brisbane . They all agreed the first movies would centre on the sea approaches to Brisbane . They felt most of the strategy for the defence of Brisbane seaways would be known to the Japanese anyway . There is only one shipping channel into Brisbane , and they were sure that the Japanese would have extensive charts . These would 've been gathered before the war while Japanese cargo ships regularly carried cargo in and out of Brisbane . Jill would use her talents to make sure it was all available within days . Tom become amazed at what Jill could organise . He often wondered if Jill knew there was a war on and led to equipment being in short supply . If Jill asked for material , Jill got equipment . The acquisition of a truck and small boat created no problems for Jill . The rest of that week the unit worked together and settled into their new roles . It was decided that they should wear army style work wear , and they were given " All Area " passes . This allowed them to enter restricted areas at any time . The unit was given the imposing name of " Ministry Communications Unit . " They all now signed the Official Secrets Act and to make their job easier when moving around they were given talks on a broad range of military subjects covering all three services . They needed to be able to recognise all badges of rank for both Australian forces as well as American forces . They also needed to know operational requirements of the Navy as well as the army . Their quarters at Eagle Farm consisted of a separate room for each person with shared toilets and showers except for Jill , who had her own . Joe had a room , although he usually stayed at home when not required . In the office block , they all had their workspace . Alf was allocated an area allotted for his truck . This would be where he parked it , and could do any services that the army didn 't do . He also used a general store room that he stored any timber or other supplies that may be needed . An American Air Force unit , being next to the Eagle Farm compound was ideal for meals . Jill arranged for breakfast and dinner to be taken at their Officers Mess while , lunch was sandwiches that Alf would collect after breakfast . They often joked about Alf being probably the only driver who ate in an Officer 's mess anywhere in the world . Jill had also arranged for tea making facilities to be available at their compound . This was the same day that their cameraman , Fred Williams , joined them from the south coast . He signed the " Official Secrets Act " paperwork on the dock . Their vessel , a harbour tug , usually travelled through the channel with every convoy in the case of an incident . As they departed the port , they looked at Fort Lytton on the southern side of the river . The fort had been erected to protect Brisbane from the Russians in the 1870s . The tugs captain pointed that the North West shipping channel ran from the Brisbane River to Caloundra . After leaving the river , the channel runs northeast to around Cowan Cowan on Moreton Island , and then it turns North West to Bribie Island where it then rounds Wickham Point at Caloundra and heads out to sea . On the return journey , they observed the tight formation of the ships in the convoy , and how the escorts weaved in front of the convoy . This was to make sure that no submarines were amongst them . The same procedure took place at the rear of the convoy . Tuesday morning Tom met with the editors of the two local newspapers and explained his mission to them . They both agreed they would take and publish the articles Joe would write and give them by - lines of a staff journalist . They also knew that being a War Cabinet mission , secrecy of the source along with the need not to alter the transcripts were vital . After lunch , Tom arranged for the team to meet at the Breakfast Creek Hotel . This was a " getting to know you " exercise . Tom stressed the importance of their job and he could take the luxury of relaxing for the first time since he had run into David . In only eighteen days the unit developed from a concept into a fully functional branch of the defence ministry . Jill commented that , in all her years in public service , she had seen nothing happen so fast . At the beginning of a semester at the University , Tom had used the following exercise many times . It involved getting everyone to tell their life story to the group . They adjourned to a private room that Jill had organised and with jugs of beer on the table and a supply of nibbles Tom started the ball rolling . " After I gained my degree at the University of New South Wales , I started out my working career as a cadet journalist with the Cumberland group in Parramatta . As a young man I met my wife , and we had two lovely daughters within two years . I became a feature editor for the whole group in less than ten years . When I was preparing an article to focus on the benefits of the new Harbour Bridge , I happened to stand right in front of the official party . I was amazed at the audacity of Captain de - Grout in cutting the ribbon . This led me to think words could never adequately describe the mood and reactions of the Premier and all the official party . The looks of amazement mixed with anger could not be captured in words alone . This led me to think about exploring the possibilities of working with film . " " I realised that to bring up the girls , my life needed to be more organised , and I needed to be home far more than in the past . It was around this time that the media studies faculty at the University of New South Wales was put into place . I applied to join this faculty and became the first media lecturer . " " About a month ago I was in Sydney for a meeting when I ran into David Millar , whom I had known from my student days . David suggested we have a few drinks , and it was during this time that the formation of this unit developed . David went back to Canberra and asked me to put a proposal together . Within two days David had presented my proposal to the Cabinet and Cabinet approved it unanimously . " " I went straight from high school into the public service as a clerk . I noticed those around me who sought a career in the public service had university degrees . This led me to enrol in a business studies program with a major in government studies . " " Bob was more of an administrative officer and as it turned out the army is short of young administrators . They had plenty of leaders and field officers but , short of those with highly developed administrative skills . This was good for us as it meant Lieutenant , and then Captain and finally Major Robertson worked at Army Headquarters in Canberra . " The Space Age : a time of Sputnik and Saturn rockets , populated by men with names such as Glenn and Gagarin . Now you can relive the countdown with In Their Own Words : The Space Race The Apollo , Mercury , and Gemini Missions , an unparalleled 7 Cassette audio suite that provides unfettered access to authentic Mission Control transmissions and interviews with the men behind them . Including a bonus 2 - hour DVD containing rare archival footage and newsreels , In Their Own Words : The Space Race utilizes vintage vivid documentary and narrations , revealing interviews , and audio clips of Presidents and pilots alike to chronicle all 17 Apollo missions , including the pioneering Mercury and Gemini programs . From blastoff to splashdown , you are there , experiencing Neil Armstrong 's lunar " leap for mankind " and the shocking suspense of Apollo 13 . America 's space program reverberates thrillingly throughout the In Their Own Words collection . " If only I had a dad … " Abandoned by his father as a small child , Rick Amitin survived a heartbreaking relationship with his mom and endured three stepfathers before he was nine years old . At fifteen , he set out on his own , traveling the world , searching for his dad , and finding it impossible to live happily without one . One misguided decision and painful consequence after another , Rick made his way through the military and answered the calling to ministry . He lifted people across the country and around the world while the wound of fatherlessness wreaked havoc on his relationships and pursuits , making him grapple with his lack of identity and sense of worth at every turn … that is , until his grand boy dropped out of heaven and into his arms and catalyzed his journey of healing . In If Only I Had a Dad , Rick 's raw - polish approach to sharing his story and hard - earned wisdom will help other fatherless men and women to : · Identify the True Cause of All the Messy Dysfunction · Discover the Power on the Other Side of the Pain · Become the Whole Person They Never Thought Possible If you have been searching for an answer to your father hunger , wanting the pain to stop , this book is for you . Turn your Wandering into Wonder and Your Longing into Love . It was late winter in 1935 , when the young Jewish girl gave birth to her baby girl , in the German town of Kitzigen . The child 's father , a soldier who decided that being the father of a Jewish child would not help his progression through the ranks of Hitler 's army , deserted her . Her family was not critical of her ; instead , they showed understanding and supported her through the pregnancy . She named the child , Ruth . Ruth 's grandfather ran a successful civil engineering company that dealt with the British manufacturer , Sir William Bromfield . Sir William spent most of his time visiting German enterprises that dealt with his engineering supply companies . Their business relationship had developed into a genuine friendship . For Jews , life became unbearable in Germany as it became the practice for any senior German Officer to just take whatever Jewish belongings they wanted . The ' brownshirts ' were even worse . Claiming to be patriots , they were nothing but organised hooligans and thugs with no respect for human life or belongings , especially if Jewish . The government followed Hitler 's ranting that all of Germany 's troubles had been brought about by the Jews and now , payback time ! When they seized Ruth 's grandfather 's house , the family had nowhere to live so he moved them to nearby Frankfurt , some 130 kilometres away . Their British friend , Sir William , helped them as he seemed to have influence because he found rooms for them in Frankfurt . Ruth 's mother never knew what he did for a living , but Sir William travelled a lot , and she overheard him and her father mentioning his brother in England . His brother was a Church of England minister in a country town about three hours north of London . By early 1938 the situation became unbearable for the Jewish community . Besides the constant harassment and beatings , many were arrested and thrown into prison for not showing allegiance to the Nazi party . Also , it was now impossible for them to leave Germany . Ruth 's grandfather suffered many beatings , and her grandmother became a nervous wreck . They had not been able to go to a synagogue for over six months , and the grandfather feared for Ruth and her mother . One day a fight developed just outside the building they lived in , and the police arrested Ruth 's grandfather . Shortly after his release from the police , the Gestapo came and arrested him , and they never saw him again . Ruth 's grandmother pleaded with Sir William to help . He tried to find some information , but as he began to attract attention to himself , he stopped his inquiries . Realising that she would never be with her husband and unable to bear the pain , Ruth 's grandmother climbed to the top of the five - storey building and jumped . Ruth 's mother was distraught . She had now lost both parents whom she loved , and she held fears for Ruth 's safety . She contacted William and pleaded for help and advice . He told her about the ' Kinder transport ' movement being set up by the Jewish and Quaker communities in England , which rescued Jewish children . The laws had been changed to allow unaccompanied Jewish children to enter England , provided they had a sponsor who would care for them . If Ruth 's mother surrendered Ruth , it would mean she would see Ruth again until after the war . After several excruciating days , she asked Sir William to find out what arrangements he could make . Although a minister in the Church of England , John Bromfield promised that Ruth would learn about the Jewish faith during her upbringing . If she accepted the offer , John would meet them at Frankfurt railway station the following Friday . He would not be allowed to leave the train , and she would have to place Ruth on the steps of the train where John would take her . John should be able to talk to her through the window before the train left for Holland and the channel crossing . She agreed to this arrangement . However , this arrangement tormented her over the next few days . What if she never saw Ruth again ? Is it best she should be brought up by strangers than risk the horrors the Nazi regime seemed to pose ? Ruth 's mother was troubled further by a big question . How did William arrange everything so fast ? William told her that when he was in England last , his brother told him that When Ruth 's mother told Sir William to make arrangements he got a message to his brother , John , and the reply came back . Sir William then told her he had contacts within the English defence community . What he did not tell her was that he was in effect an undercover intelligence agent . Early that Friday morning Ruth 's mother packed a small bag of clothes along with a little amount of food for Ruth 's journey . Ruth thought that she was going on a train with a nice man for a long holiday and one day soon , mummy would join her . Sir William walked to the station with them . He was particularly on edge that morning and kept looking over his shoulder . Ruth had her identification card with a ribbon around her neck and seemed happy like any three - year - old would be , going on a holiday . As there were many parents there to say goodbye to their children , the station platform was crowded . Most realised it would be the last time they would be with their children , and yet they held out hope for the future . A larger than usual contingent of soldiers on the station worried no one . In a brief conversation , John reassured Ruth 's mother that he and his wife , Madeline , would take good care of Ruth . He also told her he would make arrangements for a Rabbi to help with her education . Ruth 's mother finally felt relieved that Ruth would be taken care of by good and understanding people . Sir William had previously told John about Ruth 's family , so he was aware of the trauma she may have experienced . Two soldiers stood at each of the carriage steps and checked the identification of the children before they boarded the train . Two additional soldiers were on each set of steps with their rifles at the ready in case any of the adults tried to board the train or , any of the passengers attempted to leave the train . John took Ruth into his arms , and they returned to his seat so Ruth would be able to wave goodbye to her mother . As the train departed , three Gestapo officers grabbed hold of Sir William . John saw this in horror from the carriage and was even more horrified when Sir William broke free , and the Gestapo men shot him . If that was not distressing enough when Ruth 's mother leaned over William , they shot her through the head , and he heard them laugh and call out , " Die , Jewish whore ! " John was grateful Ruth had been distracted and did not see her mother murdered . Ruth noticed John muttering almost silently with tears in his eyes and making the sign of the cross . He hid his grief for Ruth 's sake . The journey to Rotterdam became the first chance for John to get to know Ruth . He was grateful William taught Ruth some rudimentary English even though while at school he had learnt a practical knowledge of the German language . He thought she should know him as " Uncle John , " and he would introduce Madeline as " Aunt Madeline . " It was a slow journey and relatively quiet until they reached the border crossing near Het Kwartier . The Dutch border police were very civil while the Germans extensively examined the documents of every passenger . They seemed to glare with disgust at every child . John was glad they did not search his bags as he had documents that included Ruth 's birth certificate , along with that of her mother and grandparents . Amongst the other documents was a declaration William had smuggled into Germany that would give John and Madeline the authority to act as Ruth 's guardian . Ruth 's mother had signed this and had it witnessed by a well - respected Rabbi in Frankfurt . Ruth wore a German Identity card around her neck , endorsed for one - way travel out of Germany . Ruth slept on the boat , and when they arrived in England , Madeline was waiting at the dock for them . The immigration official , realising the trauma the children had experienced , looked only briefly at each child 's identification before stamping it and letting them into England . Their only concern was that appropriate responsible people were on hand to care for them . Ruth and the Bromfields boarded the train for the two hours journey to London , where they had a three - hour wait for their train to Millbrook . It had been an unusually long day , and three - year - old Ruth was completely worn out . Even the excitement of a new home with a bedroom all to herself was not enough to keep her awake . John and Madeline looked at her asleep in bed , then knelt down and prayed that Ruth would not have to witness any more horror . The next morning , Ruth woke to a brand new world . From her room , she saw daylight , and she heard birds chirping outside her window . She slept in a room all by herself for the first time in her life , and it was a beautiful place . A vase of flowers on it in the corner and the chair in the other corner sat a huge teddy bear . The door open and in came Aunt Madeline . " Goog morgen darling , " she said , " Haben Sie eine gute sleep ? " Ruth laughed at the strange accent and replied in English , " Yes , thank you , I slept well . " Madeline knew at once that language would not be a problem . She took Ruth to the bathroom and after washing her and cleaning her teeth , they went down to the kitchen . John was sitting down with his bowl of porridge , and he said to her , " Sie sehen schön Heute morgen . " She laughed and replied . " Mummy said that I must always try to speak English now , and I must learn twenty more words every day . " John smiled and replied , " Well , from now on it will be English only . " Madeline put a bowl of porridge with a glass of juice in front of her , and Ruth replied . " Danke schön - er thank you . " They all laughed . After breakfast , Madeline suggested that she take Ruth into nearby Bedford and go shopping for a new wardrobe for Ruth . Her mother had tried to look after her , but , new children 's clothing along with toys were luxuries in Germany . It had been hard enough to gather food . The only toy Ruth owned was the shabby rag doll that she carried with her . She did , however , have two dresses , a coat , and a pair of gloves . She also had the shoes she wore and three sets of warm underwear . Madeline dressed Ruth , and they walked to the bus stop and caught the bus into Bedford . Ruth remembered in later years ' how people were all smiling and laughing . Frankfurt people never smiled ! Ruth liked Aunt Madeline and clung close to her with her hand held tight . Madeline loved the feeling as well . When they went into any shop , Madeline asked her every time what she thought of each item . At first , Ruth said she loved everything . Madeline realised that although she was only three years old , Ruth had been taught to appreciate every gift and not to " turn her nose up " at anything she didn 't particularly like . Madeline took her out and into a cake shop . She told Ruth to choose the cake she would like to eat . Ruth walked up and down the row of cupcakes many times . Madeline saw the smile she gave towards the cakes and the frown towards others . When Ruth finally made her choice , they sat at the table and Madeline ordered it along with tea for herself and a fizzy drink for Ruth . Madeline then explained to Ruth that just like the cakes , she must choose the dress and shoes she liked best . Ruth could have four dresses and two pairs of shoes . She could also have two pairs of slacks and some singlets and underpants . She could also have a swimsuit . Ruth would choose carefully , and Madeline was grateful that Ruth was now beginning to show her individuality . Although English was not Ruth 's natural language she chatted endlessly , and although she had a broad accent , Madeline understood most of what she said . After a morning 's shopping , they were heading back to the bus when Ruth saw all the dolls in the window of a toy shop . She said nothing , but she stopped and smiled as her eyes browsed all over the window display . Madeline smiled and said to her , " Uncle John may get mad at me , but you should have one new doll . " Ruth jumped for joy and said " Danke ! Can I have that one please ? " She pointed to a small doll in the corner . Madeline bought it and all the way to the bus stop Ruth held it tight . Madeline thought it was probably the first new toy she ever had . When they arrived back at the vicarage , Ruth ran inside with the parcels and shouted , " Uncle John ! Look what Aunt Madeline bought for me . Clothes ! Dresses ! Shoes ! Gloves ! A doll ! Underpants ! All for me ! I am so lucky Uncle John , to be living here with you and Aunt Madeline . " John also had called his Bishop . He needed to be clear on the direction he planned to take on Ruth 's upbringing . With both the Bishop 's and the Rabbi 's blessings , John thought that Ruth should be baptised as soon as possible and attend Sunday school . At the same time , she should spend a part of Saturday with a Jewish family and occasionally join them on Friday evening for " Shabbat - dinner " . The church itself fascinated her . Ruth loved playing outside , and she took three days before she had explored the entire grounds . Madeline made it appear that she was by herself , but , while she played outside , Madeline watched her like a hawk from the rectory windows . Their first Sunday was significant , and yet Ruth went about things as normal . She woke up , went to the bathroom , cleaned her teeth and dressed for breakfast . All by herself ! Ruth loved choosing what clothes to wear , especially as they always smelled nice and clean . After breakfast , she heard the church bell for the first time . Madeline explained to her that John was the priest of the Village and on Sunday mornings people came to pray and learn about God in the church . John helped them pray and learn . As they walked over to the church , Ruth saw many people going in . She noticed some children as well . They sat in the middle of the church , and most of the ladies waved to Madeline and smiled at Ruth . Ruth thought this was exciting . Whenever she was in a crowd in Germany , everyone was frowning and looking around . In this place , no one frowned , and everyone smiled . Suddenly everyone stood ! Then a voice from the rear of the church spoke . Immediately the church filled with music . She didn 't know it at the time , but that was the organ starting . Then everyone started singing , real loud ! Ruth looked around ( Madeline had sat her at the end of the pew so she could see everything ) . Some people were walking in from the door , holding books and singing . She saw Uncle John immediately after the man holding a wooden cross high . She tried running to him , but Madeline held her hand tight . After that , she did not take her eyes off him for the whole service . Everyone knelt down , and Uncle John gave them something to eat , and the other two people gave them something to drink from a shiny glass . She knelt next to Aunt Madeline , and when Uncle John came in front of them , he gave Aunt Madeline a piece of the bread ( it was a tiny bit ) . He then put his hands on Ruth 's head . Ruth didn 't know what it meant but was sure it must have been significant . Finally , during what was to be the last song , the people who were with Uncle John , started walking out of the church while Uncle John followed . All the other people moved and followed them . When they came to the door , Uncle John stood there shaking everyone 's hand and talking to them . Madeline held her hand tight as she spoke to the other women outside the church . A couple of the ladies asked Ruth her name . Then a small boy came up to her and said . " Little girl , can you play with me sometimes ? " she looked up at Madeline , who then said . " Of course , you can " . Ruth turned to the boy and said , " My name is Ruth , what is yours ? " Ruth had made her first English friend . The Bishop pondered for a while , then he advised John . " If we baptised the child , her soul would be safe . If she were exposed to the Jewish faith and eventually took her Bat Mitzvah , it would not be a sign of rejection of Christ , as Jesus was a member of the Jewish faith . When a Jew turns to Christ , he is not asked to reject Moses ' teachings . " John replied that as long as there was no hiding the reasons for this journey , his peers being kind and loving Christians , would accept this . If he and Madeline adopted Ruth after the appropriate waiting time , and he addressed the congregation , he felt it would be a living example of Christian love . The Bishop agreed and suggested that after John met with the Rabbi , a meeting should be arranged between the three of them and an unofficial memorandum of understanding be drawn up . John agreed . The meeting with the Rabbi the next day went even better . The Rabbi liked the approach that John proposed and did not find fault with it . He appreciated that John had taken Ruth in , and he agreed with her being baptised . If John were to be her father as a child , she should be raised in a Christian family . Exposing her to the faith of her mother and grandparents was the right thing . After Ruth 's Bat Mitzvah , she should be free to accept either faith or both . The Bishop and the Rabbi joined John , Madeline and Ruth the next week , then formulated the private memorandum of understanding . In a surprising move , the Rabbi asked the Bishop if he could attend Ruth 's baptism . The Bishop agreed and asked could he attend her Bat Mitzvah . They then all prayed for guidance and asked for God 's blessing on this unusual arrangement . They arranged for Ruth 's baptism to take place in a month 's time . John advised his congregation of the agreement and announced that Rabbi Jacobs would be present . The Bishop would perform the ceremony . This way the congregation would know the Bishop 's approval and the Rabbi 's acceptance . They also would invite the Goldbergs , the Jewish family who would be sharing the Shabbat - dinner . In less than three weeks of Ruth 's arrival in Milford , she had developed a small circle of friends . They were mainly children of John 's parishioners , but through Madeline 's sewing club , Ruth was also exposed to other kids . Madeline also allowed Ruth to play with other children in their homes . Her English was becoming perfect , and she rarely used German words . Her best friend was Jody , whose Dad was in the army . The solicitor then made enquiries , and he advised them on the direction to take . It would possibly take six months to sort out . It seemed that after studying the rules , Ruth would need to be declared " abandoned " and made a Ward of the State . John and Madeline could then adopt her . All the preliminaries would need to be in place and all relevant declarations in the hands of the court . At the court hearing , there would be three separate rulings . Ruth would be declared abandoned . Then the court would appoint her a Ward of the State , followed by the granting of John and Mary 's adoption of her . All three rulings would take place in the same court and immediately follow the previous hearing . English law could be cumbersome , but with correct steering , the desired outcome could be achieved . When John first addressed his congregation , he saw the confusion on the faces of some of them . They all praised and supported John for taking Ruth in and saving her from certain death , but some were confused about the " duel religion " situation . Madeline listened to their reaction and told John later . The one comment that amused both of them was that one woman had been overheard saying , " Being a Jew is not as bad as being a bloody Catholic ! " John brought them all around by ensuring all the readings over the next few weeks mentioned that Jesus came from a Jewish Family , and all the early disciples were Jews . The most convincing readings came from the Gospel where Jesus prayed in the synagogue . He drove this home further with Paul 's letter to the Hebrews . On the day of Ruth 's Baptism , Madeline prepared a celebration feast . She was careful not to have any food that could be objectionable to the Rabbi and other Jews present . Madeline was already aware of the need to avoid ham and bacon from the day Ruth first arrived . When they entered the church , they felt honoured to see it packed . Rabbi Jacobs and the Goldberg 's sat in the front pew . ( The Bishop had discreetly told the usher to keep two pews for any members of the Jewish community ) John also noticed the Roman Catholic Priest and some of the nuns also there . They all wore street clothes because Catholics at that time did not go into Protestant churches . Other churches also had representatives mixed in with the congregation . The reception developed into an exciting affair . Everyone ( except for the Catholic Priest and nuns ) stayed for it . John made an extra effort for Ruth to meet the Goldbergs and their son Jacob . Jacob was just a little older than her . The Bromfield family were wealthy industrialists who for the last three generations ran Bromfield Industries , a group of engineering and manufacturing companies . Traditionally , the family kept only a small proportion of their wealth to themselves . Most of the profits went to the Bromfield Charitable Trust , which supported many charitable organisations . The company 's structure allowed for William as well as his brother , John , to be uninvolved in the daily running of its enterprises . John had entered the Church , while William pursued his interest in innovating machinery development . William had developed a reputation as a leading designer of farming equipment and other mechanical methods of farming . He had travelled extensively studying farming methods all over Europe and had established an extensive network of agriculture equipment manufacturers . William had been contacted by the War Department early in 1934 and asked if he would be willing to continue to travel to Germany . By using his connections , he was to note what developments were taking place . With the passing of time , this would be the basis of vital intelligence should war break out . Later on , the War Department asked him to map out the locations of the German factories . Doing this increased his risk as he would then be conveying military information . They gave him a small camera , but he committed most of the information to memory and placed the locations on maps each time he returned home . William did not raise any suspicion with the Germans until he was seen drinking coffee with Ruth 's grandfather . Although it was a casual observation , a minor official thought it worthwhile to find out who and why this foreigner was having coffee with a Jew . It then became apparent that as William 's business caused him to visit manufacturers , he warranted further investigation . William remained under surveillance for the rest of that journey . The Gestapo continued their investigation , so they arrested the Jew William had been seen having coffee with . They grilled him with all the force that they could . Even though he knew nothing of William 's activities , other than being an English manufacturer . He was thought to have died under interrogation That is when William told her about the possibility of getting her young child out of Germany . He sent a message to England requesting the paperwork that would be needed to admit Ruth into England . When the woman agreed to send Ruth away , William crossed the border to France , where he met with a British courier . He also sent a message to his brother . His brother replied almost immediately and made arrangements to be on the next " Kindertransport . " When William crossed back into Germany , the Gestapo expected him . Their agents in Paris had seen him receive a package from the courier . They followed him to determine where he was going before they apprehended him , planning to investigate what the messenger gave him . Leaving the train at Frankfurt William caught a taxi , and the Gestapo followed him . Three blocks from the station a truck carrying a full load of bottles failed to stop at an intersection and crashed into the car carrying the Gestapo . The last thing the truck driver saw was the flash of the pistol , the injured Gestapo member held in his hand . William and Ruth 's mother returned to the window , and as the train started to pull out , one of the Gestapo agents recognised William . Realising it was the Gestapo , William wanted to move away from the train and Ruth 's mother so she would not appear to be with him . They called out for him to halt , but he kept moving . Three shots rang out , and the Englishman lay dead on the platform . Ruth 's mum saw all this and ran to help William . As she bent over him , she was shot with one bullet in her head . John would only need to attend board meetings four times a year and therefore , would not need to have any active role in the daily running of the company . He did , however , received regular reports and kept a keen interest in the " Water Storage and Transportation . " division . Travel with Beth on a journey through machine guns & mafia , romance & heartbreak , dreams & struggles and find keys to unlock your destiny all along the way . " Beth Olson is a great friend of mine . I know her well . In her new book , you can follow a life story of difficult decisions she made in following her passion , knowing God intimately . You 'll also learn how to apply what she learned for practical use in your own journey . I wish the world had more than just one Beth Olson in it . " - Bob Phillips , Former Pastor with David Wilkerson at Times Square Church , Teaching Pastor and Director of Academy for Cultural Transformation at Heartland Church " Diary of a Missionary Kid by Beth Olson is a must read for anyone who desires to live a wide eyed adventure with God . The journey of Beth Olson is the ripe fruit of a life courageously and honestly lived . " - Leif Hetland , Founder and President of Global Mission Awareness , Author of Seeing Through Heaven 's Eyes William Charker was born in Winchester , Hampshire , England on 16th of December , 1774 . The fourteenth child of a family of fifteen , his father , Edward Charker , a Tallow Chandler and his mother Elizabeth ( nee Barr ) . The Charkers were wealthy traders and yeoman farmers and so William well educated and independent . On the 7th of December , 1800 he inexplicably became involved ( with an accomplice ) in a substantial burglary at the dwelling house of Thomas Evans at St Mary Lambeth stealing goods to the value of £ 33 . 6 . 0 . The two were arrested and tried on 25th of March , 1801 at the Surrey Assizes . Each sentenced to only seven years even though their crime being a capital offence . At his trial , his name given as William Charker , alias William Chalker , was is the first known use of the alias which became his general name in Australia , except on Legal Documents and Government Correspondence where he always used Charker . Hulks were retired naval or merchant ships that would still float but considered unseaworthy . In most cases , all the upper superstructure ( Masts , etc . ) had been removed and most of the below deck space converted into gaol cells . Because of the poor condition of the hulks , more guards were necessary as well as the continual outbreaks of disease created an unacceptable risk to the greater population . The First Fleet is the name given to the 11 ships which left Great Britain on the 13th of May 1787 to found a penal colony that became the first European settlement in Australia . The fleet consisted of two Royal Navy vessels , three store ships , and six convict transports , carrying more than one thousand convicts , marines and seamen , and a vast quantity of stores . From England , the Fleet sailed southwest to Rio de Janeiro , then east to Cape Town and via the Great Southern Ocean to Botany Bay , arriving in mid - January 1788 , taking two hundred and fifty - two days from departure to final arrival . William went first to the County Gaol and then on to the prison hulk HMS Protée . Protée started as a sixty - four gun ship of the line of the French Navy , launched in 1772 . Captured by the Royal Navy on the 24th of February 1780 and converted to serve as a prison ship in 1799 , then finally broken up in 1815 . " The conditions on board the floating gaols were appalling ; the standards of hygiene were so poor that disease spread quickly . The living quarters were so bad that it was like living in a sewer . The hulks were cramped , and we had to sleep in fetters . We had to live on one deck that was barely high enough to let a man stand . The officers lived in cabins in the stern . " " I felt elated when finally in January 1802 , I was transferred to the convict transport Coromandel . Us convicts were housed below decks on the prison deck and often further confined behind bars . In many cases , we were restrained in chains and only allowed on deck for fresh air and exercise . Conditions were cramped , and we slept in hammocks . " As they sailed south to and past the Canary Islands , the daily routine was beginning to set in . At four in the early morning , the prisoner cooks ( three in numbers ) were admitted on deck and at five - thirty . The captain of his division ( the convict nominated as a senior convict ) joined the other captains on the upper deck for the purpose of filling wash tubs while the remaining prisoners commenced taking up their beds and hammocks . By six , William and the first half of the prisoners were admitted for the purpose of washing their person . Within half an hour the other half were allowed to wash . Breakfast was at eight and during breakfast , the ship 's crew were cleaning upper deck and water closets William managed to keep his food down , but the ship became awash with vomit . The seasoned sailors joked about how convicts predicament . It must be realised that the majority of the convicts had never been to sea and were still recovering from the cramped conditions aboard the prison hulks . " The clouds seem to rise from the water , turning day into night . Then suddenly the wind began to howl , and initially the ship lurched dangerously to starboard before the helmsman could correct the list . I thought that we were goners . Then came the driving rain , It was so fierce I was sure it was cutting into the deck timbers above them . The unbearable stench of the vomit from my fellow prisoners seemed to cover the whole deck . We would have preferred to be on deck instead of in that hell hole we were confined . " The journey across the southern Atlantic was reasonably uneventful until they drew nearer to the Cape . The wind increased dramatically causing the ship to pitch and roll . Even the sight of land on the port side did little to raise the spirits of William although after they had sailed a day into the Indian Ocean , the weather improved . " We all lined the deck . Prisoners , officers , crew as well as the free settlers . The body was on a plank leaning over the side and covered with the Queen 's flag . As the captain said those words that committed the body to the sea , two of the crew raised one end of the plank , and the lifeless body slid from underneath the flag and into the deep . " As they sailed through the heads , the captain decided to allow groups of convicts on deck . Each group was allowed fifteen minutes . The captain knew that if he kept them confined he would run the risk of rioting because if they saw a glimpse of their destination , they would start to relax and possibly an air of excitement would replace the feelings of despair some must have been feeling . " It was unbelievable . " William later recalled " This big harbour that seemed to go for miles . The soft green grass behind the mixture of rocky shores and small golden beaches and the thick bushland behind the shores made this place seem like paradise . " " The healthy state in which the Coromandel and Perseus arrived requires my particularly pointing out the masters of those ships to your notice . It appears by the log books , surgeon 's diaries and the unanimous voice of every person on board those ships that the utmost kindness to the convicts . This , with the proper application of the comforts Government had so liberally provided for them and the good state of health all the people were in , induced the master of the Coromandel to proceed without stopping at any port . He arrived here in four months and one day , bringing every person in a state of high health , and fit for actual labour . And although it appears that the Perseus necessarily stopped at Rio and the Cape , yet the convicts were in as good condition as those on board the Coromandel . Nor can I omit the great pleasure felt by myself and the other visiting officers at the thanks expressed by the prisoners and passengers for the kind attention and care they had received from the masters and surgeons , who returned , an unusual quantity of the articles laid in by Government for the convicts during the voyage . " " The smells of shore are amazing . Clean , crisp air , the pleasant aromas of real food cooking but most importantly the lack of stench from humans living so close for so long . I could begin to see that it wasn 't going to be as bad as I had thought to live in this so called hell hole . I see that it may be possible eventually to have a real life in this colony if I behaved myself . " Having William assigned to their farm was a Godsend . William was a hard worker and built trust with them . He was always able to make positive improvements , and because he had been raised on farms by his yeoman farmer parents he had a natural gift for mixed farming . " If we plant the vegetable patch between the house and the storage shed , we should have more control over where the animals may roam , " he remarked to Mary shortly after his arrival . This untimely led to in 1803 , Jonas Archer fled to avoid his creditors and Mary became the sole owner of the farm . Mary always had a liking for William , so it was no surprise that in a short time after Jonas left , she married William . The farm was then known as Chalker 's Farm . Governor William Bligh reached Sydney on 6th August 1806 . He had been sent to replace Governor King , who was looking forward to returning to England . ( It was thought that he was disappointed that during his time in office , the officers of the corps had overridden his authority and left him somewhat dejected . Resident farmers of the Hawkesbury region , in particular , had complained to Bligh about the high prices being charged by the Corps for staple goods . The restrictions on availability of mutton by McArthur and , therefore , the high prices for meat further raised their concerns along with the fact that the Corps had attempted to introduce alcoholic liquor ( that the Corps had full control of ) as a currency . This led the Corps being often referred to as " The Rum Corps " The name being a misnomer as whiskey was the only alcohol used as currency . Bligh started to attempt to stop these practices and tried to restrict the commercial activities of the Corps but had little success . The impasse continued until on the 26th January 1808 Major Johnson ( egged on by McArthur ) led a troop in full military regalia accompanied by the regimental band to government house and arrest Bligh . Major Johnson installed himself as the acting governor . By 1806 , they were prospering , but all was about to change with a devastating flood in March of that year in which the settlers lost everything that could not be quickly moved to higher ground . William was driving his stock when he heard the call " HELP . " Looking toward the overflowing river , he saw three of his neighbours struggling in the torrent along with a small child . Without pausing , William ran to the riverbank where his little boat was tied up and rowed out to the middle of the river . He rowed to the child first and after he was aboard William then rowed to save the three men in turn . When it overturned , the adults drowned , but William swam to the shore with the child on his back . He was rewarded with a Conditional Pardon in August 1806 . Conditional pardon meant that although free he was not able to leave the colony until his pardon became absolute . To be pardoned said that William was no longer to be regarded as a thief sentenced to 7 years , but instead , a free man whereas Mary was always to be considered as an ex - criminal . Along with his Absolute Pardon , William received a grant of 30 acres of land at the Cooks River but did not take up the grant . Instead , in August 1812 , he applied for and received a grant of sixty acres at South Creek . The South Creek farm was used mostly to raise cattle while he pursued his other sources of income . Lawson and Wentworth , as well as being neighbours , were good friends . They were both visionaries who saw the need for the colony 's further expansion in the area . The Blue Mountains to the west had become a barrier to this development of the settlement which was now requiring more farming land to meet its needs , particularly after the droughts of 1812 and 1813 . Some even believed that the aboriginals were of a sub - human race and therefore not capable of knowing such things . William had long since made friends with a lot of them and as such he appreciated their knowledge of the land . However , he was unable to influence those around him to allow the aboriginals to show the way . Blaxland , Wentworth , and Lawson led an expedition party , which included four servants , four pack horses , and five dogs . Two of the four men who assisted the party have been identified as James Burne , a guide and kangaroo hunter , and Samuel Fairs , a convict who arrived in Australia in 1809 . The two others also thought to be convicts , remain unidentified . The party left from Blaxland 's South Creek farm near the modern suburb of St Marys in western Sydney , on 11 May 1813 and crossed the Nepean River later that day . They made their way over the mountains , following the ridges , and completed the crossing in twenty - one days . The explorers ' success has been attributed to the methodical approach and decision to travel on the ridges instead of through the valleys . The three explorers and two of their servants would set out each day , leaving the other two men at their campsite , and mark out a trail , before turning back later in the day to cut a path for the horses and allow the rest of the party to progress . The party first saw the plains beyond the mountains from Mount York . They continued to Mount Blaxland 25 km south of the site of Lithgow , on the western side of the mountains . From this point , Blaxland declared there was enough forest or grassland " to support the stock of the colony for thirty years , " while Lawson called it " the best - watered Country of any I have seen in the Colony . " The party then turned back , making the return journey in six days . The lighter weights always fight first . The place was filled up now . My coach holds the ropes open and I step into the ring . He tells me this , " He didn 't warm up . He 's cold . Knock him out . " The ref asks me how I feel . I tell him I 'm dying . He laughs and says , " You 'll be all right . " Now all this time , the fear is indescribable . It had nothing to do with this kid or anything . There is something about getting into a ring surrounded by people watching you and fighting . I 'm thinking it 's him or me . Over and over , like a drumbeat in my head . I felt like a cornered rat . Scared mean and viscous . The bell rings . Like most fights I just remember fragments . It was the same combination , the whole fight , three quick , hard jabs and a right hand . The first knock down I thought he slipped . I didn 't feel any contact . It felt like I was punching a sheet hanging on a line - - I was punching right through him . The second knockdown was - - I started to get excited . I realized that I could get out of there right now ! I never wanted anything so bad in my life . Her lips were parted and her eyes were shiny . She looked hungry . They all did . I felt this huge rush of adrenalin . I started to jump up and down in place . The murder came up in my eyes and I turned my eyes on my opponent . I had picked up the count at five . Now here is the peroration of my whole story . I saw an opening , a space between his head gear and his gloves . It was like the clouds parting for the sun . Time warped , slipped away , disappeared , it was a moment frozen in time . I was in hyper focus . I decided that my glove would fit through that little opening . I pulled the trigger and knocked him out . At the moment of impact I twisted my hip into the punch . I put my ass into it . A perfect right hand and the hardest punch I ever threw and I could really punch . That punch would have knocked out any amateur anywhere . I looked into the audience . Two teenage girls , about 18 , were looking at me , their eyes shiny with lust . I thought : so that 's the way it is - power ! I didn 't prance around with my gloves held high . He was just a kid . But it was me or him . And I decided it had to be me . So I hug this kid . He looked resentful . My coach is spreading the ropes for me . I tell him , " I still don 't like it . " Then I start snickering , " I could learn to like it . " He tells me , " They won 't all be this easy . " I beat the next guy . He ran and held . There was a three hour break until the finals . I was tired , I was emotionally spent . I didn 't want that last fight . And I had seen the guy fight and I really didn 't know how I was going to beat him . I later learnt that he had lied to get into the tournament . He had 7 fights going in , instead of five . I had one , as I said . One of the guys he beat told me that . He stopped me with a right hand that hurt me and I got an eight count and I rushed in and got caught again . I never went down . RSC . I 'm not really a fighter . I made myself do it . I wanted to be like my friend , Jamie Ollenberger . I admired fighters . I got a very late start and what success I did have was because I had very heavy hands . Once I asked a very good retired fighter and trainer , Hedgman Lewis , a welterweight active in the late sixties , if I could even call myself a fighter . He said , " You got in there . You fought . " On Friday the 23rd of October 1987 my husband Patrick and I closed the door on our London flat and embarked on an adventure that was to last for 27 years . At the end of it , our lives would be transformed beyond all recognition . Of course , we knew none of that at the time . All we knew was that we were setting out , with enormous excitement , to complete the formalities and furnish and settle in to our new holiday home in the Languedoc . Three hours or so later we reached Calais , with our van and trailer loaded to the gunnels with household goods . We lumbered off the ferry and , ignoring a small official with a large hat who kept bellowing ' Fret ! Fret ! ' at us , we made our determined way to the domestic immigration channel . The small official pursued us , and when he paused for breath I explained politely that , no , we weren 't freight : we were an inoffensive English couple taking some household goods to a maison secondaire . We had all the paperwork , I added helpfully . For a second this gave the small official pause , then he brightened . ' Douanes , Douanes ' he said , gesturing towards a dilapidated hut off to one side of the docks . Dutifully , we made our way to the Douanes , the customs shed . Luckily a savvy friend had put me wise . ' You 'll need an inventory , ' she said . ' And make sure it 's detailed , if you want to get through customs without too much delay . ' It was good advice . So , taking a deep breath and a large notebook I plunged into the depths of what had been our dining room , but now looked very much like a furniture repository . Two hours later I emerged , bleary - eyed but satisfied with my labours . ' Two arm chairs , leather , ' I had written . ' One sofa , matching arm chairs ; three side tables ; two lamps with brown ceramic bases ; two lamps with orange ceramic bases , five drinking glasses , green , small ; six drinking glasses , green , large ; six knives with red handles ; six forks with red handles ; six dessert spoons with red handles ; five tea spoons with red handles … ' and so it went on , for page after page , and all copied , in triplicate , illicitly on the office photocopier . We produced the document . It ran to 27 pages ; it was written in English with a French translation for each item . It landed on the ledge with a satisfying thump . Shannon Reber : I 'll be in the middle of writing this glorious scene and realize I have no food in the house ! Life . I am an albino , legally blind because of it . I grew up believing I was nothing . So I wrote to make myself feel like . . . " This the best website out there for authors to showcase their work . The interview section was fantastic . I sold two books immediately . It is very hard for an author to write a book . Then the publishing company wants additional money to help you promote it . Your website has given me . . . All Brags " I have been very pleased with your professional services . It is easy to add a book or create a classified ad - your forms and instructions are thorough and your system works flawlessly . You post the books in a very timely manner and the display looks lovely and professional . I am . . . All Brags " I wanted to write a few things to show my appreciation for Lenka 's List . This site is a wonderful site for authors to get the exposure they need . I think it 's an exceptional forum for everyone who has a story to tell in a book format . I love this site . " " Any opportunity to promote and find out about new authors / books is valuable . This new site is visually attractive and helps me connect . Thanks so much for putting it together , Lenka ! " " Since the day I came across Lenka 's List on social media , I 've become a huge fan of Lenka , John and their amazing website . Lenka 's List gives authors ( particularly ' indie ' authors ) a channel to promote their books . The range of authors and writing genres promoted on the site is enviable and . . . All Brags " I absolutely recommend Lenka 's List . As an author , it is a fabulous resource . I have my books listed there , as well as an author interview for potential readers who would like to get to know me better . As a reader , the site is extremely easy to use with multiple ways . . . All Brags " Hey readers and authors alike visit Lenka 's List . What a great website . If you 're looking for a great read or just want to know more about your favorite author , visit Lenka 's List , it 's all there . I love the site . " " There are a plethora of writing and writers ' websites out there , but Lenka 's List stands out for one simple fact - its simplicity . The site has a clean , clear and concise appearance . It 's not cluttered and is easily navigated , and offers some great contacts , for both books to read , and . . . All Brags " I stumbled upon Lenka 's List purely by chance and was then invited to add my debut novel to the website . It was quick and easy to do and almost instantaneous . Lenka and Co are extremely efficient . As a new author who self publishes , finding websites that help you advertise is . . . All Brags " Lenka 's List does an excellent job of promoting an author 's work . The submission process is a breeze . The end result is a tastefully displayed book page where potential readers can learn about the author and his or her books . I highly recommend this site to authors and readers alike . " All Brags " Lenka 's List is like a giant coffee house for authors and all their professional relatives - the editors , proofreaders , publicists and book designers . It 's huge , it 's well organized , and it 's clearly a labour of love . Lenka harnesses the power of the internet to create a home for writers and readers . . . All Brags " Lenka 's List is like a massive box of assorted biscuits / cookies . There are so many delicacies to nibble . My favourites are the Sci - Fi ones with the gooey centres . I particularly like this book website because Lenka & John have brought together such a wide variety of books and allowed authors to . . . All Brags " What Craig 's List is to consumers Lenka 's List is to writers . It showcases authors and their books , as well as a host of other bon bons for bibliophiles . There are insightful interviews , entertaining reviews and a host of information for those interested in all matters literary . The eponymous Lenka spreads . . . All Brags " When I contacted Lenka about her Classifieds I had only just expanded my editing services from part - time to augment my ' real ' job to full time to facilitate my family 's continued eating , after my boss retired . She was kindness personified , and it seemed to come naturally to her . Now , I am . . . All Brags " The only thing better than a visionary who can creatively transform a dream into a reality , is a visionary with genuine empathy for the aspirations of others . Lenka provides not only an invaluable service to authors but also to readers . Lenka 's List should be on everyone 's list to visit regularly . " " Lenka 's List is a valuable website for authors . For promotion , exposure , and networking . It has provided an avenue for me to expose my services to more authors . I know the work involved in maintaining such a site , and business aside , I admire the way Lenka communicates with the site 's clients . . . . All Brags " I have been approached by many other book promoting services but Lenka 's List felt like the best option . lenkaslist . com is one of the best book promotion websites around and I highly recommend them . They are very patient with you and will also allow you to blog with them which can . . . All Brags " Many websites showcase new and talented Authors , but not like Lenka 's List ! Her robust site gives the reader insight to each author , with interviews , titles and social media links to follow . Her interview is one of the best , with thoughtful and poignant questions providing insight to the creative forces which . . . All Brags " Lenka 's List has been a true source of marketing and advertisement for self - published authors of ALL genres . The interview section is an excellent tool to show who you are as an author . I am appreciative of being able to list all of my children 's books on this site . You can . . . All Brags " Lenka Lee is dedicated to supporting authors in areas of writing and publishing . Her website stands out among other similar websites because she is truly interested in helping you ; the writer or author . Lenkaslist . com offers a user friendly atmosphere . Lenka Lee adds a personal touch to the website through her . . . All Brags " Let me tell you , ever since I " discovered " Lenka 's List , I 've been " braggin ' " about it ( and her ) to every writer I know . For most of us Indie authors hankering to get " discovered " , Lenka 's List is the light at the end of the tunnel . At least it has been for me . Her website was / is . . . All Brags " There are hundreds of websites out there that offer a place where authors can promote their work , find new readers , market , etc . Most are time consuming , complicated , and take authors away from what should be their primary focus - writing . Lenka 's List provides an uncomplicated and painless alternative to those complex websites . . . . All Brags " I am very honored to have been interviewed by Lenka Lee . The questions she asked were intelligent , and thought provoking . Lenka 's List is an excellent web site for authors , bloggers , and readers to connect and help each other . Authors can request reviews from bloggers and readers can discover new Indie . . . All Brags Lenka 's List is one of the most supportive websites toward authors . Although a newer site , it surpasses any in terms of exposure and innovation . The author is truly respected and promoted well . I know the founder and co - founder of Lenka 's List . They are both creative people , writers themselves and dedicated . . . All Brags " Congratulations to Lenka 's List for creating a comprehensive and enticing showcase for authors . In a world where marketing sites at times fail to live up to expectations , Lenka goes above and beyond . She presents her cadre of authors in various lights , and not simply the one dementional look as a . . . All Brags " Writing is a doddle compared to the daunting challenge that is social media . I had no idea about websites supporting writers until Lenka found me and invited me on to her list . I owe her a huge debt of thanks , and I 'd certainly recommend her to any newbie indie writer . . . All Brags " I love how Lenka 's List supports authors and artists . They are fast , friendly , and easy to work with , and finding sites where I can help spread the word about my book always makes me smile . Thank for all you do ! " SmileA smile offers a gateway to understanding and sharing . A Smile A smile may sometimes take awhile . There are even days when a smile just will not shine . Why smile , you say , on such a . . . Sarah and Legion free weekend . . . Sarah and Legion ( mybook . to / sarahandlegion ) is a free download this weekend . I never really planned on writing this one . When I wrote " Mackenzie : An Assassin 's Tale " it was primarily to purge out the darkness . . . Shanghai , Part 5 - Nanjing RoadImage Courtesy of Sally Cronin Tummies full , when we left the restaurant around 12 : 45 . , the weather had become humid . http : / / www . travelchinaguide . com / cityguides / shanghai / west - nanjing - road . htm ( what 's on offer ) The shopping area is pedestrian - friendly with an occasional trolley / mini tour bus . Prominent . . . Dream : A Song for YouEver now and again I have a dream so vivid , so affecting , that I have to write it down . I 've decided to take some of these dreams and share them . Details will likely be altered . . .
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Killer McCoy was lying in bed , an easy smile spread from ear to ear as he quietly sighed with contentment . He would have to get up soon . He had a weekend 's worth of videos to double check once he got into the office , plus the new interns would be starting their work with him later that day . But for the moment , Killer just wanted to feel the warm softness of the sheets , listen to the rain pattering on the window , and meditate on the changes that had taken place in his life over the past twelve months . He watched silently for a while as the diffused daylight slowly seeped through the wood - slatted window blinds of his bedroom , the grey light melding with grey paint like two lovers comfortable in one another 's presence . It wasn 't long before the stillness was broken by the pitter - patter of six tiny feet shuffling down the hallway . From the living room , he could hear Matthew whispering something to Wolfie II and the Huskie 's tags jingling in response . It wouldn 't be long now before the TV was blaring Spongebob Squarepants . Carefully , so as not to disturb the - Killer snuck a glance under the sheet - yep , still naked woman sleeping beside him , he slipped out from the covers , stretched , and grabbed his bathrobe off the back of the door before heading out to check on his son . Killer smiled at the oddly - shaped blob of plastic blocks . " That 's neat , buddy . Why don 't you show me what it does while we make breakfast ? " " Okay ! " Matthew scrambled behind Killer into the adjoining kitchen , his creation in one hand and his favorite G . I . Joe in the other . " It 's a special computer , like Mr . Hax has in his office at your work . " " Yeah ! See , this button here helps my guy win , and if he pulls this lever , a little couch pops out like at Mr . Baron 's office , and if he pulls this lever . . . " Matthew dropped G . I . Joe as he worked to pop open a box on the side of his contraption . " A little pizza pops out ! Cool , huh ? " " Oh , oh ! " Matthew was practically dancing now with excitement . " I almost forgot the best part ! See , there 's a phone , so my guy can be on Teamspeak and talk to Evanus and Sir ! " " Probably . " Killer cracked some eggs into a bowl and whisked them together with some milk and vanilla while he waited for the skillet to heat . " I 'll check with Mr . Dee when I get to the office , just to be sure . Alright , now , can you bring me the bread ? " As the boy scampered over to the pantry cupboard , Killer let out a very soft sigh . It was hard to believe Matthew was about to turn seven years old . For seven long years , ever since that first frantic phone call when Candi told him she was carrying his child , Killer had done the best he could to be a real father to the boy . He worked hard to make sure they had a comfortable home , spent time teaching him to read and safely handle firearms , all the while hoping that someday Candi would finally confess to her family the identity of Matthew 's father . He understood her initial trepidation - the Lysergs ' mother had been the last daughter of the Hatfield family , and Granny Hatfield was not about to let the centuries - old feud with the McCoys go to rest in the history books . For seven years , Candi insisted they keep the secret ; it would kill her grandmother to know that the girl she 'd raised as her own after Candi and Lyserg 's mother died had gone off and fallen in love with a McCoy . As far as Killer was concerned , if the old biddy wanted to throw a temper tantrum over the lineage of the beautiful child he and Candi had been blessed with , she could go fuck herself . But Candi had a hold on him like no one he 'd ever met . He could still see the soft sadness in those velvety violet eyes as he held her under the weeping willow at the edge of the Lyserg family ranch . " Please , Killer , " she 'd begged , " Granny won 't be around much longer . Wait 'll she passes . The rest of the family will come around after that , I know it , but not until then . And I couldn 't bear to be cast out like that . Wait 'll she goes , then I 'll say yes . " Killer never could say no to her . Seven years he 'd gone through hell for her , but he 'd never say no . And then when Lyserg found out . . . " Mommy ! " Matthew clambered down and rushed over to his mother 's waiting arms . " Uncle Killer 's gonna see if Evanus can come to my birthday party ! " " Is he , now ? " Candi 's eyes twinkled at Killer from across the room as he turned back to finish breakfast . " And have you decided what you want for your birthday , my love ? " The mother said nothing , though Killer could feel her gaze upon him as he slowly resumed finishing breakfast . " Go wash up , bud , " he called over his shoulder . " And pick up your toys ; you left one of your guys over here . " Candi was still silent as he wrapped his arms around her , her violet eyes mining deeply into his very soul as if searching for something . After a moment , he kissed her gently on the forehead . " What 's on your mind ? " " I was just thinking . . . " She looked away for a moment toward where Matthew had gone , and when she looked back again , her eyes were full of regret . " Maybe we should tell him . Everyone else knows now , and we don 't have to tell him about why Granny doesn 't call or visit . . . " " Candi , " Killer interrupted . " You know how I feel about this . You know how I 've always felt about this . I understand what you were trying to do , but I 've always felt the boy needs to know who his father is . If Granny wants to shun Matthew for being a McCoy , then the bitch never deserved him anyway . Or you , for that matter . I know you 're pissed at your brother , but Christ ! Look at the difference in our lives these past few months ! We 're finally living together , like a normal family . My parents have embraced Matthew like their own , without them even knowing he is , in fact , their own . " Candi looked away in shame at those last words , tears welling in her eyes . For another long moment , neither of them said anything , then Candi sadly shook her head . " I made you wait so long . . . " she sniffled , trying to pull away . " I wouldn 't blame you for hating me after going through all that . " " Hey . Hey hey hey hey . " Killer pulled her back to him , holding her close as he buried her face in his chest . " It 's alright , babe . Shhh . Don 't be dramatic . We 're together now . How could you think I could ever hate you ? I 'd marry you in a heartbeat if you 'd say yes . " On the other side of the Atlantic , Hax was happily typing away on the laptop , finishing a new analysis script and feeling rather pleased with the elegance of his coding . He set it to run the final test , grinning into his coffee as he leaned back in his chair and watched the module run its course perfectly . All that , and in about half the time that he 'd initially expected . He was just deciding whether or not to slip out for an early lunch when a knock came on his door . Hax groaned inwardly as a chubby face poked its way into his little sat - com room , grinning with earnest . One distinct disadvantage to having worked remotely in the States for so long was that when the assistant for his department left , Hax had had little say in the hiring of the replacement . Working with Gertrude remotely had been fine ; she 'd mucked up a few things early on , but Baroness reminded him of the difficulties inherent in taking all direction through his text chats , so Hax gave her the benefit of the doubt . Once back in the UK , however , his vexation with the woman grew exponentially . She certainly meant well , and Hax could even have brought himself to tolerate her mistakes . . . if she learned from them . Gertrude wasn 't , and her relation to the boss meant he was unlikely to be rid of her any time soon . Pairing that with the woman 's love of heavy perfume and reality television programmes , Hax had made a point to be less and less sociable in the weeks since his return , reverting back to text - based directions and giving the explicit instructions to stay out of the sat - com room unless a critical situation arose ( appending , of course , a detailed and very specific list of what he considered ' critical ' situations ) . This proved exceptionally prudent after she 'd caught him returning from lunch one day with some items for the newly named Darth Rasus , pouncing upon this perceived commonality by sharing way too much information for Hax 's liking about her own nine " feline companions " at home . " Oh ! Erm . . . yes , we 'd . . . just finished , " Hax fibbed , reluctantly setting the receiver of his desk phone back in its cradle . " Though I expect I 'll be in another one for the better part of the afternoon . " And certainly not just avoiding you , he thought to himself . " Fantastic ! Well , I just came to check and to let you know your girlfriend is waiting in the conference room for you . Shall I put some coffee on ? " " Your girlfriend ? Ms . LaFaye ? Or , oh . . . " Gertrude stammered . " I 'm sorry , I saw her picture in your things when Mr . Andrews had me unpack your office , and I thought . . . oh , dear . . . " " Oh , no ! No , no , no , no . " She rushed the words out , her large frame tottering on her heeled shoes as she swayed a little in the doorway . " No , she just asked to see you privately , and I wasn 't sure if you were working on anything sensitive . . . " " Oh , you know what I mean . " The woman waved her hands in that nervous way people do when they aren 't sure how to extract themselves from an embarrassment . The movement wafted a fresh cloud of Eau de Aging Cat Lady in the web ninja 's direction . " In any case , she 's in conference room C . " Hax waited until Gertrude shut the door and he heard her heavy footsteps start down the corridor , then quickly kicked his chair backwards on its rollers , fumbling madly at the old lock on the rarely - opened window sash . His lungs were burning for want of breath when he finally managed to get the window open , gulping in the cold , damp spring air into his grateful chest and allowing the country breeze to flush out the perfume from his office . Of all the things governments impose regulations upon , he thought , the dispensing of noxious perfumes to a public inept at not overusing them should be number one on that list . Gertrude was just returning to her desk as he passed through . Nibbling a pastry ( she always seemed to be nibbling a pastry , he thought ) , she noticed he looked slightly more polished than a few minutes before and smiled at him conspiratorially . " She does seem a lovely girl , Mr . Haxor , " she ventured . " Perhaps . . . ? " Continuing down the hall , he considered knocking before entering the conference room , but stopped himself just before doing so . This was his work place , damn it , and she an unannounced guest . She had no right to come here , of all places , to sully the environment with some spy shit . The few clues she 'd provided in regards to her initial request weren 't nearly enough to get even a reasonable idea as to what might be going on , and his requests for more details or calling in outside help were met with the usual bureaucratic bullshit of " need to know " and " national security . " Well , sod it . If she 'd come to sulk at him for not being more helpful , he 'd remind her in no uncertain terms how it was she who was aiding in his hands being tied . Inside the small conference room , Mary was pacing the floor when Hax finally entered . The expression on her face immediately gave the web ninja pause . A combination of her spiritual beliefs and her experience in some of the darker parts of intelligence meant Mary was not the type to be easily agitated , yet her face showed a concern that bordered on fear . She smiled at him weakly . " I need a voice of reason . " Mary pulled a folder from her bag and handed it to the web ninja . " So after a lull in our weird crimes , a murder has taken place . A young woman was found tied and brutally stabbed to death at the base of Glastonbury Tor , her body splayed out inside a ring of salt and candles . Blood was used to draw those same symbols I 'd shown you before ; samples are being sent to determine whether it was the victim 's or something else . " " Not yet . The body was found early this morning by an elderly couple from the village ; thankfully they called the authorities straightaway , but keeping the tourists and onlookers at bay until we arrived didn 't leave the constables with much extra manpower to start questioning . All they know is that the victim doesn 't appear to be anyone from the village . " The web ninja felt a little queasy as he flipped through the crime scene photos Mary gave him , the poor girl 's naked body exposed to the elements . He peered a little closer . " Did those animals carve symbols into her flesh as well ? " His companion nodded solemnly . " There were runic marks all over her body , which seemed to be words or phrases of some kind . If magickal in nature , there is a possibility of it being some kind of incantation . We 'll know more after it goes to our cult experts and they verify which runic alphabet it is . There were two specific symbols , however , that I recognized . " Mary drew her chair closer , taking the stack of images from Hax and flipping through until she found what she was looking for . " The one carved just over the heart is the symbol for gift . The one carved just above it is death . " She set the photograph on the table in front of him , and Hax felt his stomach plummet as he saw the girl 's face clearly for the first time . He involuntarily kicked back from the table , taking a deep breath as Mary quietly said , " Don 't worry , it 's not her . I had the same thought and had her whereabouts checked before I came here . " Mary 's cheeks flushed slightly . " I don 't know why , " she said , glancing sideways at him . " She conducts a weekly internet broadcast , and I 've always been . . . interested in your endeavors . " Hax took another breath and drew back to the table , focusing on the task at hand . " So am I to surmise that your wanting my to be your ' voice of reason ' is to suggest the victim 's resemblance to my friend is coincidental ? Because it could be , but it also might not . From what you 've shared so far , it 's too soon to tell . " " Yes , yes , of course , " Mary sighed . " It 's just . . . very unnerving , when people use the Arts for nefarious means . That 's not what they 're meant for , and those who start casting for dark purposes . . . " " No , I 'm sorry , you 're right , " Hax interrupted testily . " It 's none of my business . Was there anything else odd with the case thus far for which you needed my ' reasonable ' expertise ? " Mary stared at him a moment , clearly hurt , but he didn 't care . He hadn 't wanted to be a part of this in the first place , and was starting to regret agreeing to help her . Finally , she cleared her throat . " There was one more thing , something that might interest you . When they found the body , the couple said that they could hear an odd music coming from the base of the Tor , but they couldn 't see any people about , nor determine the source of the music . They described it as sounding almost like an old music box , but with a staticky quality to it . The constables found a small radio in a crevice of the tower wall near the body , still transmitting the music . But when they went to switch it off , a voice came over the waves reciting a series of numbers before going back to the music . This happened a few more times before they realised the transmission appeared to be on a loop ; they 're trying to trace the source of the transmission now . " Mary grimaced . " I heard it . The music alone is really unnerving , but the voice . . . it was like I heard it before . Robotic . Almost like something you 'd hear for a voicemail announcement , or - " " Perhaps . I 'll get a recording sent over to you straightaway . " She shifted uncomfortably . " You look like you might already have an idea of what it is . " Hax looked at the photograph again , his brow furrowing with concern . " I hope I 'm wrong , " he said , staring at the dead face looking back at him . " But if not , your victim 's appearance is certainly no coincidence . "
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I am a professional artist living full time in San Miguel de Allende , Mexico . Light and color excite me to a degree which has at times almost given me to wonder about my condition . However , people do seem to respond positively to the results , so I find myself allowed to go on feeding my habit with an endless feast of tints and tones . Artist heaven , you may ask ? - well , there is THE WALL of course . But I try to see through , as best I can . - I guess we all do . Just got back from a very nice trip to Zihuats on the pacific coast , in the state of Guerrero . It was fabulously hot ! I completed the one above in one go the second day we were there . I did another one the next day but the result was a bit marginal so I scraped it . I like this one a lot though . The fishermen were really friendly to us but didn 't bother us too much . We had throngs of tourists and towns people watching us from behind the bench we chose to paint from . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . we ignored it all rather successfully and soldiered on . We plan to return in April when most of Donnas students are gone for a longer stay - can 't wait ! ! ! We used to live in a small fishing village south of Halifax , Nova Scotia for ten interesting years . I had a bad cold this week and couldn 't get out plein air painting , so I decided to re - visit the place - if only in my mind . I used to sail on this bay all the time , so it was a lot of fun doing the painting and I always did enjoy doing boats as a subject . So much fun it was that I think I 'll make it a regular habit and probably take a painting trip back there when the weather improves - from what I recall that would be about June ! I say " Cool " because it was a cool painting session - cool as in Cold ! Donna , Luc and I met up at the plaza principal about 9 am . on a foggy morning last week . We knew it would clear during the morning so we chose a spot in what would be the shade of the historic Casa Allende . Well , it was cold to begin with in that damp fog and it was cold after the sun broke through and this chilly wind came up from calle Umaran at our backs . It was a cool morning indeed but all the onlookers ( and there were plenty ) were friendly and encouraging and we too got pretty excited about our paintings , nonetheless . I tried to warm up in the sun around the corner a couple of times but of course the light was changing and I was drawn each time quickly back into the fray . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . once started you really can 't stop , can you ? We have decided to switch to afternoons next week . It takes all morning to warm up during December and January here in the mountains of central Mexico . Of course it becomes summer again most afternoons between noon and six . That 's one of the primary reasons I moved here to paint in Mexico - sort of endless summer - a plein air painters dream . ( the other major reason was color ) I completed the painting minus the people and a little detail work on site . I feel I have to give very careful consideration as to the placement of bodies in my pictures and it 's enough of a challenge to hit all the hues and values correctly on location . I spend a lot of time thinking about the overall color and composition as I begin placing the first elements on the panel and I have a rough idea of where a figure or two might be helpful to the design but with the style I prefer to work in I can 't see how I 'll ever be able to complete a complex scene with a convincing smattering of hominids in 2 or 3 hours . But I don 't fret about it much - I enjoy leisurely dropping volunteers into a scene at a later date . I like to give the characters the consideration good characters deserve . They 're part B of a two part creation and possibly the Posted by painting was begun mid July as a short demonstration of how to get off to a bold start . - you can see that start on the July 17th blog entry . I meant to get back to that picture and finish it but somehow didn 't until this past week . I thought I would put an hour or two into it . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Well , I got caught on it and ended up putting quite hand I 'd probably still be working on it ! At any rate - I guess it 's complete now . It certainly is a very active picture . Well , I wanted it to be pretty active as central Guanajuato is an active place . What you see here , is about the spot you emerge at street level , after trying to navigate their totally confusing , ancient underground roadway system in the dark . The feeling is always one of shock - you 're suddenly hit by this blinding light and sea of moving people . It 's almost always hot , hot , Hot . The main part of the city is built in a canyon bottom and there is really only one main drag . It 's a very interesting place - the capital of the state of Guanajuato . It was a very wealthy city back in Colonial times due to gold and silver in the surrounding hills . There are lots of large old domed churches , winding back streets and peaceful squares to paint . Most of the residential part of the city is built on the steep canyon walls and beyond , up and down the slopes of the surrounding hills . Most people have access to their casa via very narrow foot paths , of the switchback variety . If they have a car at all , it 's parked somewhere far , far away . Needless to say , they all have strong legs ! It 's only about 50 miles from here but it has a totally different feel to the place . He had some close calls but Luke is a dedicated plein airist and it seems to have been worth 2 hours of facing down the muzzle of death . Neither the many cars that crept slowly by scraping their fenders against those buildings on the right , nor the passing burro trains did any lasting damage at all . He ended up with a great painting ! When we left he was priming up another panel - this time a little closer to the wall , enjoying a vastly greater margin of safety . What surprised me was that only one or two dudes seemed to be the least bit upset with the situation . Sure , the ricos may have lost a little magnesium here and there . It was admittedly hard on a lot of tires ! ! ! - I didn 't much like that chafing / squeely rubber sound . . . . . . . . . . . . , a lot of " commute time " was lost . Maybe I 'm just overly sensitive and shy . I don 't even like being in the " limelight " much . Luke is a Waldorf school graduate and those people really know how to release the right side of a persons brain . Though only centimeters were between him and a trip to the morgue , he paid absolutely zip attention to all that passing metal . Luke was beside and behind me a couple of meters . The rest of Donna 's students were at the top of the street - a good hike up the hill . One of them had one of 3 legs of her easel fall off when she tried to set it up for the first time . I lent her mine while I went dashing around town for a replacement - which I found but then it was missing a critical adjustment knob . These were brand new " in the box " easels so I was more than a bit annoyed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . however . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I took it home and fired a screw into the hole where the missing screw should have been , ran back down the hill and got a nice , very late start . So , needless to say , you are seeing a goodly amount of studio work in the one above . I like the result though - the color was all pegged pretty much in the calle , in the first hour . Maybe I 'll do a larger version at some point , with some of those little burritos in it ! Just to let people know - this painting is currently on auction at Daily Paint Works and has just under 3 days left in the bidding . It 's the first time I 've placed a painting up for auction anywhere but I like DPW and their auctions are quite active . There has been one bid of $ 300 . U . S . on the painting thus far . For this first go I set a pretty low threshold to " test the waters " . It 's worth a lot more than that , so if you 'd like the chance of getting one of my originals at perhaps a rock bottom price - now is your chance ! I started this on Monday with Donna 's plein air painting group in the Plaza Civica across from the Oratorio . Since then , every time I 've walked by it I couldn 't help but diddle with it until now it doesn 't exhibit much of it 's fresh plein air beginnings . I 'm hoping it still has some vestige of the spontaneity it had in the beginning . It was a fun picture to work on and I guess that 's why I couldn 't stop working on it . I finally decided to STOP ! this afternoon as it was starting to ask for a high degree of " finish " and I would rather reserve that for a larger version of the same scene . If I had persisted with this one I would have figured everything was solved and there would be no point in doing the theme over . I will set this aside and not look at it for awhile - when I do I 'll decide if it wants to grow . By the way - some purists feel that a painting worthy of the term " plein air " must be executed , start to finish in one sitting . It 's a matter of definition , I suppose . I almost always start small to medium size oil paintings on location . I finish them there , maybe about a third of the time . The others get varying degrees of " overtime " back in the studio - sometimes just a touch here and there and other times , here and there and everywhere . The important thing to me is that the work has been launched with excitement - the inspiration derived from being in direct contact with ones subject . As you work on the painting during those first hours , all the surrounding sights and sounds sink into your psyche and if that panel asks for more attention later , back in the studio , you find that any additional work you do on it takes you right back to the location again . In this state of mind you can continue the act of creation with what I would call the " right artistic attitude " and the piece will almost automatically retain a lot of freshness . I have to say I like the spontaneous look of a painting done quickly and accurately . Less is definitely more . In the hands of the vary best plein air painters the results can be sublime . But even they don 't get " five star " results every time . I think good advice to anybody journeying along this plein air route would be not to worry too much about purity of process . There are purists and there are purists . I might not measure up to one persons definition because I just can 't let a little painting go without further investigation but take note of this ; I have painted with pros that rely on smart phone screens and special apps to help them compose and find colors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . well folks - most of the time I don 't even pull out a view finder when starting a picture and I certainly have no need for color suggesting apps . So , what does that make me ? - I guess I 'm a purist too , right ? I can 't help but smile when I see the " shortcuts " people try to take . Shortcuts have no place in lovemaking . Final word , - about the only thing I really find obnoxious , even fraudulent are the printer people that pass dem photos through , dob a lick or two and claim them as originals . Oh , and come to think of it - how about those Chinese sending me emails that quote me a price for doing my future paintings for me ? ? ? Hey ! - easy street here I come . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . This was done yesterday on Cuesta de Loreto a few hundred feet from our door on " calle sin nombre " which goes off about where this road leaves the picture on the left . Donna Lee and Elaine West painted in the same location and we all came up with good but very different results . I 'm posting Donna 's below and I will include Elaine 's later if I can get her to send me a photo of it . Elaine lives on a houseboat near San Francisco and is a very good plein air painter - we always enjoy her company when she 's in San Miguel . I haven 't got out to do plein air for a while as I 've been doing a lot of color experimentation in the studio lately . It 's been interesting ( even a lot of fun ) but after yesterday I would say that the experience of painting on the street ( so far ) remains the best . I think it 's a good idea to try different things though . It 's not all that surprising when something you 've discovered doing one approach pops up as a nice inclusion in the other - I think there 's a little of that in the example above . There is some great and complicated drawing in this one and considering she spent just over 2 hours on it I find this painting really impressive . Cuesta Loreto really is that steep and Donna has the whole feeling of it just as it is . I love the feeling of height and distance overlooking the town , between the two buildings near center . Five BIG stars Donna ! ! . . . . . . . . . . . . . a very cool piece of plein air work . Another great example of p / a work . Elaine found a rare flat spot in the shade and out of the traffic to work on this one . The guy with the rolled up straw rugs on his bike just happened to come by and made a perfect inclusion for the piece . I love the strong design and those saturated hues . Bravo Elaine ! $ 550 . u . s . My first painting since our move up the hill to our new abode . We went out with just one student ( Mary ) on this last Monday and found a perfect scene not 200 feet from our door . We are just around the first corner to the right . This had to be one of the most enjoyable paintings I 've ever done - I 'm very happy with the result and the direction my work continues to take . Donna always tells her students " you have to crawl before you can walk " . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I feel like I 'm finally getting onto my feet after mostly half a century on all 4 's . . . . . . . . . . . . This road is really steep ! We keep seeing our new neighbors striding by on the uphill moving about the speed that most hominids would only reach going down . Some of these folks are well over 80 and still are not wasting any time on the incline . Donna and I are in pretty good shape but keep getting overtaken - it 's embarrassing . They remind me of the Tarahumara Indians of Copper Canyon fame . Most of them have spent all their life overlooking the town of San Miguel and they don 't think anything of skipping down to el centro and back with their market bolsa 's . Posted by This was the first demo for a workshop we did last week for 2 students from New York , one of whom has decided to move to San Miguel permanently ! - the other is strongly considering it . Donna has posted a photo of this one mid way through - when it was mostly greys , on her blog site . I haven 't given this a title yet . We 're in the middle of a big move up the hill to a larger abode with a fantastic rooftop view of the whole town and beyond . I hate mooooving with a passssion but it 's going to be worth it this time . . I thought I better post something now or I won 't for the next few weeks as we 'll be totally consumed up there for a while . This one was the second official demo for Mary and Dan . It 's not completed but almost so . I want to add some figures and a couple of other things . I 'll get to that as soon as I can . We had fun with the demo thing and both of them seemed to feel they learned a lot , which I find gratifying . It 's hard to verbalize and paint at the same time - a big challenge to say the least . $ 350 . u . s . This one was done on Monday during our regular plein air class . Dan and Mary joined us - this time not as students - and they both did really well . They have really gotten in touch with those greys over the last week . There is a nice old man who lives on that corner ( behind and above the fountain ) - he really seemed to appreciate us painting up there . He 's lived there all his long life - he told me he is 86 but when he talked to Donna he only admitted to 78 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . hmmmmm . . . . . . . . . . . . . The " wet " season has come to San Miguel and I love those big summer clouds . It 's a nice change from the mostly unbroken sunny days of " winter " . This painting is obviously done in the studio from reference photos and lots of observation from our patio deck , overlooking part of the town and broad plain beyond . The actual painting view is from further up the hill from where you can see the entire center of town . This painting was tricky . I didn 't want to get too " picky " with detail - I wanted the whole thing to remain a bit fuzzy - misty in fact . The effect of the passing beam of sunlight was very important to me , as was the shifting light and cloud shadow over the plains , so I had to get the values and color temperatures just right . It was a bit of a challenge but I managed to keep enough control to get the proper mood , I think . Yes and it was a lot of work . The next studio painting is going to be a lot more relaxing for a change . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $ 350 . u . s . This plein air was from last Tuesday and was a lot of fun . I had been working diligently on the big studio piece ( above ) for many days and it was great to get out on location and really " cut loose " ! The morning started out kind of brumoso - it 's summer after all - but the sun did break through for a few instants early on and we did our best to note the position of any light and shade we could put to use . The spot we painted from was excellent . However , there is usually someones car parked in that location . This time somebody had parked an old clunker half in this spot and half in the next , so they left us a safe place right by the corner with a very nice composition . In some ways it 's really hard to paint in San Miguel as the streets and sidewalks are sooo narrow . The best views are from the middle of the street but impossible to do plein air work from . " Morning at Espino 's Corner " $ 350 . u . s . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and this one was from Monday . In reality there was a lot more traffic passing us by but you can almost ignore reality sometimes when you 're a painter . I didn 't want the painting to be about cars , buses and taxi 's after all . I can remember a San Miguel from 46 years ago when there was hardly a car in town - in this respect it was a lot more the quiet , sleepy paradise than now ! But you can 't go back , can you ? ? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . So mindlessly on to oblivion we go . . . . . . . . seemingly whistlin ' all the way . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . This one is a studio painting done with the palette knife . I didn 't want to get too fussy with this one and the knife generally insures that you don 't . I was going for that 5 pm . atmosphere and I think on the whole it came out pretty well . I 'm no expert with the knife but I like the effect . I 've been putting little dashes in with the knife for some time now but haven 't done too many dedicated knife paintings . This was fun , so maybe there will be more " down the line " . The painting below was started as a plein air last Monday . There was a huge eucalyptus on the right at the start of the session ( note shadows on yellow wall ) . As we painted a work crew came along and felled the tree ! ! I just couldn 't concentrate on the tree with this guy with a chain saw , swinging around on ropes dodging " widow makers " as they came down . Most of the group were down the street about 50 feet from me - much closer to the action and indeed in some measure of peril . However , the senor was an expert and there was no loss of life . The group showed good plein air metal even as they found themselves blanketed in a fairly constant snow of saw dust . I 've said it before : as you set out to paint in the morning , you never know what the hell is going to happen to you . We 've watched and admired that beautiful tree growing the whole time we 've lived here and wouldn 't you know - the vary day we chose to paint it , it drops in the sidewalk , piece by piece before our startled eyes . However , I must mention that Les did a nice , historic as it were , painting that day in which the tree figures largely , in all it 's prior majesty . Les works pretty fast sometimes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . this photo is a little on the dark side - sorry , sorry , soorrry . . . . . . . . . . This is a largish studio painting inspired from one of our plein air painting trips into the countryside of Guanajuato State . The rising hill on the left is actually a spur of an extinct volcano and the river is running around it 's base . The whole region is peppered with these things . In fact , where we live in San Miguel is at the base of a rather large one ! We don 't lose any sleep over it as the vent has been inactive for over 10 million years but it does give you a sense of " the Living Planet " you 're parked upon . You don 't really have to go all that far from here to find some warm to hot ones either . Paricutin for example ( a couple hundred miles from here ) arose out of a corn field in the ' 1940 's , buried nearby towns and is now a quarter mile high . . . . . . and there is of course , famous old Popo smoking away outside of Mexico city - plus lots more - about 1400 in all , scattered around central Mexico . Can 't complain - they make for great backdrops to an exciting landscape ! - Love It ! This scene has been painted thousands of times in San Miguel . I myself did it years ago when we first moved here permanently . I remember it was in the afternoon ( this one is morning ) and from a slightly different vantage point on the street . I saw the photo of that painting a couple of months ago and if I could find where I filed it ( not in the obvious place ) I would post it alongside . When I saw the pic of the old one I was pretty shocked at the tightness of approach . If I come across it and remember to do so , I 'll sneak it in to this post - would be an interesting comparison . I 'm a lot freer in my handling of the paint these days . My colors are more vibrant too - I like the direction things are heading . And just when I thought old age was going to be boring ! Posted by This one was from Monday 's plein air session in which Donna and I had absolutely zero students show up ! Yes , the busy season is really winding down . - must confess though , we enjoyed the peace and quiet . Donna located about 30 feet away and had the park car wash ( north park side ) guy watch every stroke she made - business was a bit slow for him that day too I guess . Her painting did survive the close scrutiny - the Sr . gave her a 10 on the scale and assigned me a niner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . oh well , there is always room for improvement . I missed last weeks plein air , so this was from 2 weeks back . I don 't know where the Senor would place this one on his scale . It would be interesting to see his reaction . The style is quite different of course . What is quite interesting about this scene is that the week after we painted this tranquil street a small contingent of mural painters was unleashed on the neighborhood , totally transforming the place . Everyone is waxing ecstatic about the result . Sorry folks - I find the effect of murals painted on walls abominable . To me , this typical , already colorful Mexican neighborhood , with a spirit all it 's own has been trashed - it 's prior identity submerged under something too loud and strident . People used to have more sense at one time . This one was a demo done inside the studio for the students when it turned a bit cooler on the 4th . day . I used a photo from Guanajuato and laid the color over a medium dark background . I explained what I was doing during the process and the students seemed to feel they got a lot out of it . I 'm not at all used to talking while I paint so it was quite an experience for me . I 've only included these 3 paintings as I couldn 't bring any of the others I started any where near completion during the workshop - I 'll maybe work on the others this week . We had a great group and a wonderful week of painting . It 's always nice to see impressive results and also gratifying to hear appreciation for the teachers efforts . I want to congratulate all of you for work well done . It would be a pleasure to paint with you again in the future . We had quite a mix of media , techniques and even weather this year . It was warm the first 3 days but on the last two it turned quite abnormally chilly . Most opted to paint indoors at the gallery on Friday and Tom Lips was nice enough to offer the use of his beautiful home on Saturday . So , we ended up with some very nice interior compositions in addition to the street and landscapes done earlier in the week . Tom Lips and Mary Li tackling a very simple subject . . . . . and tackled well it was , as it were , in their hands ! Congrats - it was a tough one ! Both paintings had a tremendous feeling of depth , good color and design . Obviously these two have got " the stuff " . Our first morning out , drawing lots of attention from tourists that can 't be seen in this picture . The famous parroquia is just behind us but I think on this particular morning it was us getting most of the attention . How could we concentrate ? - no problem for plein air painters - we ignored the crowd and had a great time learning about the principals of color . Kathryn , Lucy and Carol in the studio building on that first cool day . They , Eadie and Gail picked the brightest location under the huge central skylight and painted with water media to their hearts content . I 'm giving some pointers to Tom Lips here , who soaks up information pertaining to oil painting like a sponge . He has made tremendous progress since we 've known him and he claims our instruction has had a lot to do with it . Leslie Roundstream with full plein air gear painting alongside some company in the form of an ancient Otomi Indian shrine in the middle of a field in San Miguel Viejo . Les got 2 terrific results that day in the space of about 3 hours ! The restaurant owner apparently wants to buy this one . He stood at my shoulder for a while and watched the process . He gave me his card and I seem to have lost it somehow . I walk by his place all the time but can 't remember the restaurant name . When I find out I 'll grace the picture with a title and let him know it 's ready . Our group attracted a lot of attention that final afternoon . For some it was a bit nerve wracking . We couldn 't have parked ourselves in a busier location . The attention comes with the territory - you just have to get used to it . Some really get off on it - they either like the showman part or they love talking to all the people . Personally I can 't say as I like either of those aspects , so I just about totally ignore the crowd and immerse my consciousness in the process . Some probably think I 'm pretty grumpy but it 's actually a case of total involvement . I can 't imagine how anybody can paint plein air and talk at the same time - amazing - I made the mistake of smiling at a little boy who seemed particularly enthralled and hung behind my back for a while . When I packed up my gear I couldn 't find my " wet painting separator strips " and I fear this ninito had something to do with it . I 'm always pretty careful with my stuff but it shows you can 't be too careful . The strips of course are worth about 1 centavo and will be totally of no use to the kid - just made the carry home a little miserable for us . Anyway , I was happy with both the paintings I did on Tuesday and it was a really good group to share two perfect days with . I hope we can do it again some time . This one is from Syulita , a small fishing / surfing beach just ( far enough ) north of Puerto Vallarta . I 'm working on a few with similar theme at the moment . I like this one . I think you can almost hear Bob Mally in the background . If so , I really hit it right because of course , Bob was omnipresent and always is at a surfin ' beach - I wonder how long Bob will " live on " ? . . . . . . . . . . . . another 50 years ? . . . . . . . . . . . . another hundred ? ? This picture started out fairly well but quickly turned into a disaster and it was embarrassing because it was a paid demonstration ( of my masterly technique ) for one of Donna 's students . I had trouble visualizing it . I had trouble drawing it . I had trouble applying the paint and I had some trouble with the color . I had lots of poorly timed trouble . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . By the way the picture you see above is a bit of a rebuild - I worked on it today for about 3 hours . I 'm actually happy with it now . I think now it 's the most interesting painting of that church I 've done to date . Those flags were worrisome to say the least ! Firstly I was distracted by the circumstances of the event . I 've got to totally concentrate when choosing a scene and planning the execution of the painting . There are just so many factors to keep in mind . A good instructor can blot most distractions out - I 'm not a good instructor . Secondly the wind was blowing like crazy and we took a little longer to set up because of it . We tried to find the best protection but the scene precluded total escape . Thirdly , the worst of it was we were standing under some very dark trees and looking out toward the light . Not only that but the view was up - sun , in the afternoon , making the contrast of light to shade even worse . We couldn 't judge our values and colors that we were mixing . I 've run into that one lots of times but this was the worst case yet . On top of it all I 've been experimenting lately with dark , primed panels . It would have been bad if the surface had been white . It was all too much for this painter . Some of it was fun but there was a point at which I was tempted to scrape . Posted by
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So we got our passport on Monday . Tuesday morning I called IOM to see if we could drop of the papers for Jonathan and get an appointment for him to get his medical done . They said to come in at 10 to drop of papers AND do the medical . I only had about 30 minutes to get everyone ready ! We went to IOM and it went well . He passed and the file was going to be sent to the US Embassy the next morning . As soon as I got home from IOM I emailed the embassy to see if I could get an appointment for Wednesday to drop of my paperwork to them . You have to be paperwork ready before they schedule a visa interview for you . They told me that I could come in Wednesday at 11 : 30 for my paperwork ! They said that if my paperwork was ready I would probably be able to get an interview that afternoon . AMAZING ! When you have a visa interview - if you are granted a visa then it takes two days to process . Once you have the visa you can leave the country . It is the final step . That means if it works out - my visa would be ready on the Friday the 20th ! They only do interviews on Monday and Wednesday so Wednesday was my last chance to get a visa in time for being home for Christmas ! Tuesday night I was a ball of nerves . I had already been running like crazy for 2 days straight with passport and IOM . Now I had to make sure my paperwork was in order - and my mind started to drift to all sorts of what - ifs about being home for Christmas no matter how hard I tried not to ! I talked with Adam about it and called my parents to let them know . When I was talking to them I got really excited . As soon as I hung up I got an email from the embassy saying that all appointments for Wednesday were cancelled because of the unrest in Sudan . They would let us know when they were rescheduled . I instantly felt like I was going to throw up . SO close to being home for Christmas . I cried and went to bed . Each night before I go to sleep I 've been reading my Bible and a devotional book I 've brought . The book has been so perfect each day for what I need . That night the verse Posted by Today another lady here and I decided to go last minute grocery shopping before the Christmas crazies are out on the streets . Hard to believe the traffic could get crazier - but I think it is true . When our driver showed up he told us that we were supposed to be at the passport office at 2 . They didn 't know if our passports were there - but we were to show up . Our other friend here was super mom today and kept ALL the kids . A mistake I 'm sure she will never make again : ) but off the other two of us went ! We showed up to the tent office that we applied at . In the afternoon it is the pick up office instead of the application office . There were SO many people . Hundreds . A man stands in the front and whispers reads the names off of passports that are ready . Somehow people understand him and stand up and head to the other part of the office - aka another tent . Thankfully we had a helper with us who kept telling us where to go etc . We arrived around 1 : 15 . Things get started around 2 . My friend eventually got her passport . The man informed me that they were looking for Jonathan 's . I was so surprised that they even called for me to go to the office today that I wasn 't sure I would be going home with one . It has only been a week since I applied . Around 4 : 30 he told me that they should be calling our name anytime and I had to go inside this little room and sign for the passport . They close at 5 . Around 4 : 55 they motioned me into the room . Jonathan was in the carrier on my front and I was carrying our diaper backpack on my back . My shirt was SOAKED ! I looked like I had run a marathon - but in fact I had just held a baby against my body for almost 4 hours in the hot Ugandan sun . I pushed my way into the room . Seriously . . . jammed my way in . I finally reached close enough to the counter to sign a piece of paper for the man who took our file . He casually handed our passport behind the counter to another man further down . He motioned for me to go down there and sign . I CRAMMED my way through people to get there . The man actually hadI got home and facetimed Adam and held the passport in front of the camera . I wanted him to be as surprised as me ! We did not expect to get it this soon ! Now that we have it before Christmas we should FOR SURE be able to make it home by the time we planned . PRAISE the LORD ! Next is our medical appointment for Jonathan that is required by the US Embassy . I am calling tomorrow to hopefully get in this week and have it done before they close for Christmas so that when everyone opens back up after the holiday 's we can do the Embassy and be DONE ! Everything seems so close all of a sudden - of course it will take time with holiday closings - but having our passport is so unexpected and really the only " unknown amount of time " thing that we were waiting on . The rest is pretty predictable and scheduled . AMAZING ! ! ! ( Brandon - I am actually yelling that : ) ) Tonight we bagged up some special Christmas candy we had planned ahead for and brought to share with our friends . After bath we went and delivered it . So much fun . The boys were SO excited to tell the neighbor 's Merry Christmas ! ! I 'm so thankful we have other families to celebrate with . It is making the season still really fun while being away from home . Please pray that tomorrow the medical place will take us for an appointment . I fully trust God 's timing in this - but I know prayer moves the hand of God and I see that very clearly in the provision of our passport . I know a lot of you were praying for that with us . THANK YOU ! I get so giddy every time a new step happens towards getting our son home with us ! I 'm so amazed every time I re - realize that he is my SON ! Now I have a passport with the CUTEST little face in it from an amazing other country that will get my boy back home with us . I will keep this treasure forever . As I continue to ask God to give me more faith - something I learned at the VERY beginning of this journey - He continues to prove Himself EVER - FAITHFUL . Well . . . we have survived 13 days without daddy so far . Only 10 more to go ! The past few days have been hard . Probably just because things are just the same every day . . . and I 'm on my own . Nothing unbearable - just exhausting . The other morning at breakfast Jonathan was crying , Andrew was whining mommy over and over ( literally like a broken record ) and Matthew was sassing me . I said , " crying and whiney children make me want to pull my hair out ! " A few minutes after breakfast was over I heard Matthew playing in the living room say , " Crying and whiney children make my hair fall out . " That may be true too . . . not sure . Made me giggle . Yesterday I had to take Jonathan back to the doctor for his recheck and I went to the grocery store afterwards . I had only Jonathan and Andrew because Matthew always chooses to stay behind and play with his friends . : ) I can 't say I 'm upset that he would rather have this option . I was SO hungry at the grocery store - they say you aren 't supposed to grocery shop when you 're hungry because you will over - buy . Not in Africa . YOU GUYS ! I wanted a good meal ! I looked so hard for something that sounded yummy , that wouldn 't give us some disease , and that would not be too much work since the lights in my kitchen don 't work and I would be cooking in the dark . I found nothing . . . except donuts . Haha . Everyone knows my love for Dunkin Donuts . If the one on Sunbeam is closed it is because I have been gone too long ! I decided I didn 't have the energy or desire to figure something else out for dinner . Our electricity has been out for a few days so keeping food in the fridge is impossible and I had already eaten as many throw together things as I could handle . Eggs and donuts it was . Yes . . . Matthew drank a Fanta with it . I deserve an award . . . or a report written up on me . Not sure which one . Everyone seemed pleased with my choice though . : ) I did find a special treat for myself though ! I was so excited ! ! They weren 't the tastiest , but they were a lift to my spirit . They were so small that from a distance I thought they were cherry tomatoes . So we have survived a month being gone from Florida . Some parts of me feel like it 's been no time at all - and other moments in the day I feel like it 's been forever . : ) The other families here have been here much longer and I know I have nothing to complain about . Crazy that I 've lived in Africa for a month . It 's truly a dream come true ! I always hoped to be able to travel to this continent . I had no idea it would be to do life ! I 'm so blessed . The boys returning from their many adventures outside . Andrew somehow slipped his arm out of his shirt and this was his reaction . Haha . Matthew LOVES hiding himself in all the pillows . He also loves the water bottles here . Easy toys . We have enjoyed a few chilly days here due to rain . It 's so nice ! This is bath time here . There is a sliding shower door and after I 'm done washing the boys they like to slide it closed and splash and scream and have a grand time . I 'm thankful it contains the mess . : ) These boys can 't wait for Jonathan to wake up each morning . As soon as they heard him they came bounding in and peeked over the edge of the bed at him . Look at Jonathan 's sweet face between Matthew 's legs . He is taken with them too ! It is so hard for me to not be able to post sweet pictures of them all together on here ! Ugh . SOON ! Today we went to Watoto Church to see their children 's Christmas cantata . I was a little nervous about it because it is me vs . 3 kids 3 years old and under . For an African church service . . . aka LONG ! It went pretty well . : ) The kids were so cute . They did an AMAZING job of telling the story of Jesus ' birth . Next week we are going to brave going to see the adult cantata . I 'm excited about it . Christmas gets more amazing to me each year . JESUS came to earth ! God WITH us . AMAZING ! I hope that you all are getting to take time to think about the reason for celebration this time of year . Listen to the words of all the Christmas songs playing - they are POWERFUL ! We went to dinner afterwards at a little restaurant here that was so yummy . I got chicken tenders and mozzarella sticks . Both big treats . : ) There was room for the kids to play again . This swing was so fun . It was in the shade under the coolest looking tree that - oops - I didn 't get a picture of . Hopefully these cute boys will be enough though ! This was one SLEEPY boy ! We left for church at 11 and didn 't get home until 5 . Jonathan was in the carrier that whole time by the way . 6 good hours of bonding and SWEATING ! The only moment besides when the food came out that these ones were sitting still . : ) I 'm so thankful for friends for the boys to play with . I can 't imagine entertaining them by my boring self this long ! So one month in and we are doing great . We can 't wait for daddy to be back with us . I forgot to tell you that after church today a lady came up and introduced herself to me because we have boys the same age . Her in laws know my family and work for the same organization and they are from the same town as my parents live . I LOVE how God provides connections everywhere I go . I always get excited to see what ways He is going to use each time . I hope you had a wonderful Sunday and got to focus on Jesus . I know it was encouraging for my heart to be able to worship with a church family here in Africa . God 's truth rings out even across the ocean . And honestly it rings REALLY loud . : ) I woke up this morning to the mosque . . . and RAIN ! I LOVE being able to hear the rain so well . It has only rained a little here so far - but today it rained all day . It was nice . We got some down time as a family - much to Matthew 's dismay . He was so antsy to get outside and play . I really am so nervous about what is going to happen when we get back to Jacksonville and have no yard for him to play in . He has discovered the outside and fallen in love since we 've been here . It keeps him entertained and wears him out too - so I love it as well . : ) I made a delicious meal tonight that was simple , but made with American things and really hit the spot . Matthew even ate a whole round of seconds ! We also got to FaceTime with some people we really love today - Grandma and Papa , Pops and Milly , Daddy , and Mr . Anthony ! This also resulted in a few tears from me . I realized today that I haven 't even been here a month and still have over a month until we are back with those we love . I love it here - but wish I could somehow combine both worlds . I also had another moment of tears tonight as I fed Jonathan . I feed him his last bottle after the other two go to bed and it is the sweetest time . He has a few little scars on his body and as he held my hand while I fed him I was looking at the scars and realizing I will NEVER know what they are from . I will NEVER know what pain he endured in the first 6 months of his life . When he was sick and being poked at the hospital in the first few days of his life ( as I have experienced being here and at the doctor with all 3 boys ) - no one was holding him to comfort him and wishing the pain away . There was no face of love looking down at him , talking sweetly to him , and holding him tight - reassuring him that everything was going to be ok . As his little fingers held my hand tight tonight my heart was broken thinking about how someone else missed out on these moments with him . It brought a million questions about birth parents to my mind that once again will NEVER be answered this side of Heaven . I love Posted by To start with today and then give an update on the past few days . . . I went to a meeting at the US Embassy today . It is something they host each month to give updates on what is happening with the adoption process in Uganda . It was good . Nothing monumental . . . but good to go to . The Embassy " campus " is BEAUTIFUL ! My driver told me that Americans know how to make things nice . It is true . We are good at going above and beyond for looks ! : ) Sometimes that 's good - sometimes it 's terrible . Haha . It led us into a conversation about how I thought different things about Uganda are beautiful and things we don 't have in America . He thought some of the things were crazy because they are so normal to him . We had a great conversation about how creative God is - and how LITTLE we know about Him the more we learn . One thing I LOVE the most about going different places is seeing different things God has created and fashioned that are not in the area I usually live . The CD that was on in the car was a Passion cd . Both of us sang along as we drove through crazy Kampala traffic . I know this is a terrible description of it all but it was such a sweet worship moment . I can 't wait to see God ! We are all made in His image . . . and I look WAY different than Ugandans . . . or Chinese . . . or Norwegians - and yet all of us are created in His image . I can 't wait to see how beautiful and complex He is . Worship is really my only response to even thinking about that reality - I can 't imagine when it is made real ! I 'm so thankful to be loved by a God that I don 't have to earn favor with - that was proactive in a plan to redeem me to Himself . I pass a mosque on my way to and from anywhere here because it is right near our house . EVERY SINGLE TIME I get a feeling of emptiness looking at it . It is completely empty and looks so unloving and uninviting . I am so sad for those that go day after day seeking the approval of someone that will never be enough to save them . I 'm thankful for my adoption . My heart is so full of worship in the most unconventional ways here . I Posted by Something important happened on the continent of Africa this past Friday December 6th . Many people will think that I 'm talking about the death of Nelson Mandela . My friends will know I 'm talking about something else . . . The day started like normal . Me tired . The boys somehow fully rested after what seems like not enough hours of sleep to me . Breakfast . Getting dressed . And the playing begins . I was rushing around a little crazier than usual trying to make myself presentable . Thankfully we had electricity for me to straighten the hair I had slept on wet the night before . I did everything possible before putting on my outfit for court so it wouldn 't get ruined by food , snot , spit up or poop . I 'm happy to say none of those things ruined my clothes ! : ) Jonathan however slept . And slept . And slept . At the very last minute I woke him up and dressed him in his handsome little outfit . He was happy . And oblivious . The driver arrived and I ran out the door with him . My sweet friend watched the other two boys at home for me . As we drove through Kampala it was rainy . This was a blessing because it meant that many people were still inside and not on the street ! ! I fed Jonathan his bottle and he was as happy as could be . As we drove all of a sudden a mob of butterflies attacked my stomach . At least that 's what it felt like . I had not been nervous up until that point but as we approached the court house the reality started to hit me ( in the chaos of just getting through the morning ) that Jonathan would become legally my son on that very day ! I kept telling him over and over that today was a special day for him , and that today he would become a son and would no longer be an orphan ! When we arrived at the court house I was 45 minutes early for our court appointment . I sat and stood and paced with Jonathan in my carrier . I was the only person in the waiting room for the majority of the time . I had woken up with a little cold and had chugged a bottle of emergen - c before I left the house hoping it would give me a little extra immune boPosted by Just a quick update and a few more pictures . Today was good . Got all my chores done pretty quickly . The lizard hasn 't killed me yet , though I 'm not sure where it ended up so anxiety may be the end of me . The boys were pretty good - Andrew took a great nap for the first time since we 've been here . Thank you Jesus . We got to go to dinner at a Mexican restaurant here - The Little Donkey . I got dressed in something that sort of matched , put on make up , sort of did my hair , and put on a necklace - which quickly came off because Jonathan tried to strange me with it from the Ergo ( all rare things for me to do here by the way ) for this special occasion . We were supposed to go a while ago while Adam was still here but when all the sickness hit it didn 't work out . My mind has been thinking of guacamole since I first heard of this place though and I couldn 't wait to go ! ! It did not disappoint . I had a chicken quesadilla dipped in sour cream and some guacamole and chips . This may sound normal to you - but this was quite the treat here ! After dinner one lady brought all the other kids home to watch a movie and the other lady and I went to the store ( with Andrew and Jonathan ) . I wish I had a video of the three of us ladies trying to carry on a conversation at dinner with the 10 kids we were all responsible for . At the end of our time ( and maybe our rope ) a couple came into the restaurant ( probably on a date ) and sat at the only other table in the little room with us . I felt so bad for them - I 'm sure they were happy when we finally cleared out ! : ) Tomorrow I have our ruling at court . It 's at 10 AM ( thankfully I don 't have to leave too early ) our time which is 2 AM your time Jacksonville ( incase you feel lead to wake up and pray - haha ) . The other ladies are so kind to watch Matthew and Andrew so I don 't have to take them with me . Please pray with us as we hope to hear that we have been granted guardianship of Jonathan and are able to bring him back to America . I was thinking on the way home tonight how crazy it is that all of this proAllison Alexander I really am enjoying life here SO much . A lot of people would probably think I 'm insane . That 's fine . Haha . I grew up with life like this . My heart really feels at home in the most unexplainable way when I am in a setting like this . Today was good . Andrew seems to be getting better . He gave me lots of smiles today . Only cried twice instead of every other second like he has been lately . We played with toys a lot . We had a few dance parties . Apparently I dance with my pointer fingers pointed . Andrew now dances with his hands like that and shows me very proudly every time . The things you learn in the mirror of children . : ) I 'm fairly certain I have better rhythm than him . It wouldn 't take much though . Watching him dance is one of my highest forms of entertainment . One of Matthew 's little friends came over for a while . I attempted to teach Matthew how to color inside the lines . . . not too interested . I told him it looked better than when he just scribbled like a crazy person all over the place . He cracked up at that . Whatever I guess . He will learn eventually . Haha . Kids got baths . We ate 3 meals again . . . sort of . . . dinner didn 't seem to be too big of a hit . I am trying out all sorts of things I found at the store here . Some are good . Some are . . . well . . . gross . I made bran muffins from a mix . I added a cut up apple . They were yummy . OH MY GOSH ! MID TYPING I SAW A LIZARD WALK ACROSS THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR ! ! THEY ARE MY WORST NIGHTMARE ! ! SEND ME HOME ! ! But seriously . . . that is by far the worst moment of my trip so far . Ugh . . . . . . . . . . help . I have a few pictures to share from our day ( and a few in the past ) . I figured you may enjoy some of the little traits of Jonathan that we love . I hope you enjoy the little sneak peek at him . I 'm also putting in some pictures of stuff around here too . And a little of our Christmas decorating time before Adam left . Coloring ! When I said scribble like a crazy person I wasn 't exaggerating . Letter to Santa ! He asked for a talking Buzz Lightyear and a James train . Matthew 's favorite ornamentThank you HoAllison Alexander
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So we got our passport on Monday . Tuesday morning I called IOM to see if we could drop of the papers for Jonathan and get an appointment for him to get his medical done . They said to come in at 10 to drop of papers AND do the medical . I only had about 30 minutes to get everyone ready ! We went to IOM and it went well . He passed and the file was going to be sent to the US Embassy the next morning . As soon as I got home from IOM I emailed the embassy to see if I could get an appointment for Wednesday to drop of my paperwork to them . You have to be paperwork ready before they schedule a visa interview for you . They told me that I could come in Wednesday at 11 : 30 for my paperwork ! They said that if my paperwork was ready I would probably be able to get an interview that afternoon . AMAZING ! When you have a visa interview - if you are granted a visa then it takes two days to process . Once you have the visa you can leave the country . It is the final step . That means if it works out - my visa would be ready on the Friday the 20th ! They only do interviews on Monday and Wednesday so Wednesday was my last chance to get a visa in time for being home for Christmas ! Tuesday night I was a ball of nerves . I had already been running like crazy for 2 days straight with passport and IOM . Now I had to make sure my paperwork was in order - and my mind started to drift to all sorts of what - ifs about being home for Christmas no matter how hard I tried not to ! I talked with Adam about it and called my parents to let them know . When I was talking to them I got really excited . As soon as I hung up I got an email from the embassy saying that all appointments for Wednesday were cancelled because of the unrest in Sudan . They would let us know when they were rescheduled . I instantly felt like I was going to throw up . SO close to being home for Christmas . I cried and went to bed . Each night before I go to sleep I 've been reading my Bible and a devotional book I 've brought . The book has been so perfect each day for what I need . That night the verse Posted by Today another lady here and I decided to go last minute grocery shopping before the Christmas crazies are out on the streets . Hard to believe the traffic could get crazier - but I think it is true . When our driver showed up he told us that we were supposed to be at the passport office at 2 . They didn 't know if our passports were there - but we were to show up . Our other friend here was super mom today and kept ALL the kids . A mistake I 'm sure she will never make again : ) but off the other two of us went ! We showed up to the tent office that we applied at . In the afternoon it is the pick up office instead of the application office . There were SO many people . Hundreds . A man stands in the front and whispers reads the names off of passports that are ready . Somehow people understand him and stand up and head to the other part of the office - aka another tent . Thankfully we had a helper with us who kept telling us where to go etc . We arrived around 1 : 15 . Things get started around 2 . My friend eventually got her passport . The man informed me that they were looking for Jonathan 's . I was so surprised that they even called for me to go to the office today that I wasn 't sure I would be going home with one . It has only been a week since I applied . Around 4 : 30 he told me that they should be calling our name anytime and I had to go inside this little room and sign for the passport . They close at 5 . Around 4 : 55 they motioned me into the room . Jonathan was in the carrier on my front and I was carrying our diaper backpack on my back . My shirt was SOAKED ! I looked like I had run a marathon - but in fact I had just held a baby against my body for almost 4 hours in the hot Ugandan sun . I pushed my way into the room . Seriously . . . jammed my way in . I finally reached close enough to the counter to sign a piece of paper for the man who took our file . He casually handed our passport behind the counter to another man further down . He motioned for me to go down there and sign . I CRAMMED my way through people to get there . The man actually hadI got home and facetimed Adam and held the passport in front of the camera . I wanted him to be as surprised as me ! We did not expect to get it this soon ! Now that we have it before Christmas we should FOR SURE be able to make it home by the time we planned . PRAISE the LORD ! Next is our medical appointment for Jonathan that is required by the US Embassy . I am calling tomorrow to hopefully get in this week and have it done before they close for Christmas so that when everyone opens back up after the holiday 's we can do the Embassy and be DONE ! Everything seems so close all of a sudden - of course it will take time with holiday closings - but having our passport is so unexpected and really the only " unknown amount of time " thing that we were waiting on . The rest is pretty predictable and scheduled . AMAZING ! ! ! ( Brandon - I am actually yelling that : ) ) Tonight we bagged up some special Christmas candy we had planned ahead for and brought to share with our friends . After bath we went and delivered it . So much fun . The boys were SO excited to tell the neighbor 's Merry Christmas ! ! I 'm so thankful we have other families to celebrate with . It is making the season still really fun while being away from home . Please pray that tomorrow the medical place will take us for an appointment . I fully trust God 's timing in this - but I know prayer moves the hand of God and I see that very clearly in the provision of our passport . I know a lot of you were praying for that with us . THANK YOU ! I get so giddy every time a new step happens towards getting our son home with us ! I 'm so amazed every time I re - realize that he is my SON ! Now I have a passport with the CUTEST little face in it from an amazing other country that will get my boy back home with us . I will keep this treasure forever . As I continue to ask God to give me more faith - something I learned at the VERY beginning of this journey - He continues to prove Himself EVER - FAITHFUL . Well . . . we have survived 13 days without daddy so far . Only 10 more to go ! The past few days have been hard . Probably just because things are just the same every day . . . and I 'm on my own . Nothing unbearable - just exhausting . The other morning at breakfast Jonathan was crying , Andrew was whining mommy over and over ( literally like a broken record ) and Matthew was sassing me . I said , " crying and whiney children make me want to pull my hair out ! " A few minutes after breakfast was over I heard Matthew playing in the living room say , " Crying and whiney children make my hair fall out . " That may be true too . . . not sure . Made me giggle . Yesterday I had to take Jonathan back to the doctor for his recheck and I went to the grocery store afterwards . I had only Jonathan and Andrew because Matthew always chooses to stay behind and play with his friends . : ) I can 't say I 'm upset that he would rather have this option . I was SO hungry at the grocery store - they say you aren 't supposed to grocery shop when you 're hungry because you will over - buy . Not in Africa . YOU GUYS ! I wanted a good meal ! I looked so hard for something that sounded yummy , that wouldn 't give us some disease , and that would not be too much work since the lights in my kitchen don 't work and I would be cooking in the dark . I found nothing . . . except donuts . Haha . Everyone knows my love for Dunkin Donuts . If the one on Sunbeam is closed it is because I have been gone too long ! I decided I didn 't have the energy or desire to figure something else out for dinner . Our electricity has been out for a few days so keeping food in the fridge is impossible and I had already eaten as many throw together things as I could handle . Eggs and donuts it was . Yes . . . Matthew drank a Fanta with it . I deserve an award . . . or a report written up on me . Not sure which one . Everyone seemed pleased with my choice though . : ) I did find a special treat for myself though ! I was so excited ! ! They weren 't the tastiest , but they were a lift to my spirit . They were so small that from a distance I thought they were cherry tomatoes . So we have survived a month being gone from Florida . Some parts of me feel like it 's been no time at all - and other moments in the day I feel like it 's been forever . : ) The other families here have been here much longer and I know I have nothing to complain about . Crazy that I 've lived in Africa for a month . It 's truly a dream come true ! I always hoped to be able to travel to this continent . I had no idea it would be to do life ! I 'm so blessed . The boys returning from their many adventures outside . Andrew somehow slipped his arm out of his shirt and this was his reaction . Haha . Matthew LOVES hiding himself in all the pillows . He also loves the water bottles here . Easy toys . We have enjoyed a few chilly days here due to rain . It 's so nice ! This is bath time here . There is a sliding shower door and after I 'm done washing the boys they like to slide it closed and splash and scream and have a grand time . I 'm thankful it contains the mess . : ) These boys can 't wait for Jonathan to wake up each morning . As soon as they heard him they came bounding in and peeked over the edge of the bed at him . Look at Jonathan 's sweet face between Matthew 's legs . He is taken with them too ! It is so hard for me to not be able to post sweet pictures of them all together on here ! Ugh . SOON ! Today we went to Watoto Church to see their children 's Christmas cantata . I was a little nervous about it because it is me vs . 3 kids 3 years old and under . For an African church service . . . aka LONG ! It went pretty well . : ) The kids were so cute . They did an AMAZING job of telling the story of Jesus ' birth . Next week we are going to brave going to see the adult cantata . I 'm excited about it . Christmas gets more amazing to me each year . JESUS came to earth ! God WITH us . AMAZING ! I hope that you all are getting to take time to think about the reason for celebration this time of year . Listen to the words of all the Christmas songs playing - they are POWERFUL ! We went to dinner afterwards at a little restaurant here that was so yummy . I got chicken tenders and mozzarella sticks . Both big treats . : ) There was room for the kids to play again . This swing was so fun . It was in the shade under the coolest looking tree that - oops - I didn 't get a picture of . Hopefully these cute boys will be enough though ! This was one SLEEPY boy ! We left for church at 11 and didn 't get home until 5 . Jonathan was in the carrier that whole time by the way . 6 good hours of bonding and SWEATING ! The only moment besides when the food came out that these ones were sitting still . : ) I 'm so thankful for friends for the boys to play with . I can 't imagine entertaining them by my boring self this long ! So one month in and we are doing great . We can 't wait for daddy to be back with us . I forgot to tell you that after church today a lady came up and introduced herself to me because we have boys the same age . Her in laws know my family and work for the same organization and they are from the same town as my parents live . I LOVE how God provides connections everywhere I go . I always get excited to see what ways He is going to use each time . I hope you had a wonderful Sunday and got to focus on Jesus . I know it was encouraging for my heart to be able to worship with a church family here in Africa . God 's truth rings out even across the ocean . And honestly it rings REALLY loud . : ) I woke up this morning to the mosque . . . and RAIN ! I LOVE being able to hear the rain so well . It has only rained a little here so far - but today it rained all day . It was nice . We got some down time as a family - much to Matthew 's dismay . He was so antsy to get outside and play . I really am so nervous about what is going to happen when we get back to Jacksonville and have no yard for him to play in . He has discovered the outside and fallen in love since we 've been here . It keeps him entertained and wears him out too - so I love it as well . : ) I made a delicious meal tonight that was simple , but made with American things and really hit the spot . Matthew even ate a whole round of seconds ! We also got to FaceTime with some people we really love today - Grandma and Papa , Pops and Milly , Daddy , and Mr . Anthony ! This also resulted in a few tears from me . I realized today that I haven 't even been here a month and still have over a month until we are back with those we love . I love it here - but wish I could somehow combine both worlds . I also had another moment of tears tonight as I fed Jonathan . I feed him his last bottle after the other two go to bed and it is the sweetest time . He has a few little scars on his body and as he held my hand while I fed him I was looking at the scars and realizing I will NEVER know what they are from . I will NEVER know what pain he endured in the first 6 months of his life . When he was sick and being poked at the hospital in the first few days of his life ( as I have experienced being here and at the doctor with all 3 boys ) - no one was holding him to comfort him and wishing the pain away . There was no face of love looking down at him , talking sweetly to him , and holding him tight - reassuring him that everything was going to be ok . As his little fingers held my hand tight tonight my heart was broken thinking about how someone else missed out on these moments with him . It brought a million questions about birth parents to my mind that once again will NEVER be answered this side of Heaven . I love Posted by To start with today and then give an update on the past few days . . . I went to a meeting at the US Embassy today . It is something they host each month to give updates on what is happening with the adoption process in Uganda . It was good . Nothing monumental . . . but good to go to . The Embassy " campus " is BEAUTIFUL ! My driver told me that Americans know how to make things nice . It is true . We are good at going above and beyond for looks ! : ) Sometimes that 's good - sometimes it 's terrible . Haha . It led us into a conversation about how I thought different things about Uganda are beautiful and things we don 't have in America . He thought some of the things were crazy because they are so normal to him . We had a great conversation about how creative God is - and how LITTLE we know about Him the more we learn . One thing I LOVE the most about going different places is seeing different things God has created and fashioned that are not in the area I usually live . The CD that was on in the car was a Passion cd . Both of us sang along as we drove through crazy Kampala traffic . I know this is a terrible description of it all but it was such a sweet worship moment . I can 't wait to see God ! We are all made in His image . . . and I look WAY different than Ugandans . . . or Chinese . . . or Norwegians - and yet all of us are created in His image . I can 't wait to see how beautiful and complex He is . Worship is really my only response to even thinking about that reality - I can 't imagine when it is made real ! I 'm so thankful to be loved by a God that I don 't have to earn favor with - that was proactive in a plan to redeem me to Himself . I pass a mosque on my way to and from anywhere here because it is right near our house . EVERY SINGLE TIME I get a feeling of emptiness looking at it . It is completely empty and looks so unloving and uninviting . I am so sad for those that go day after day seeking the approval of someone that will never be enough to save them . I 'm thankful for my adoption . My heart is so full of worship in the most unconventional ways here . I Posted by Something important happened on the continent of Africa this past Friday December 6th . Many people will think that I 'm talking about the death of Nelson Mandela . My friends will know I 'm talking about something else . . . The day started like normal . Me tired . The boys somehow fully rested after what seems like not enough hours of sleep to me . Breakfast . Getting dressed . And the playing begins . I was rushing around a little crazier than usual trying to make myself presentable . Thankfully we had electricity for me to straighten the hair I had slept on wet the night before . I did everything possible before putting on my outfit for court so it wouldn 't get ruined by food , snot , spit up or poop . I 'm happy to say none of those things ruined my clothes ! : ) Jonathan however slept . And slept . And slept . At the very last minute I woke him up and dressed him in his handsome little outfit . He was happy . And oblivious . The driver arrived and I ran out the door with him . My sweet friend watched the other two boys at home for me . As we drove through Kampala it was rainy . This was a blessing because it meant that many people were still inside and not on the street ! ! I fed Jonathan his bottle and he was as happy as could be . As we drove all of a sudden a mob of butterflies attacked my stomach . At least that 's what it felt like . I had not been nervous up until that point but as we approached the court house the reality started to hit me ( in the chaos of just getting through the morning ) that Jonathan would become legally my son on that very day ! I kept telling him over and over that today was a special day for him , and that today he would become a son and would no longer be an orphan ! When we arrived at the court house I was 45 minutes early for our court appointment . I sat and stood and paced with Jonathan in my carrier . I was the only person in the waiting room for the majority of the time . I had woken up with a little cold and had chugged a bottle of emergen - c before I left the house hoping it would give me a little extra immune boPosted by Just a quick update and a few more pictures . Today was good . Got all my chores done pretty quickly . The lizard hasn 't killed me yet , though I 'm not sure where it ended up so anxiety may be the end of me . The boys were pretty good - Andrew took a great nap for the first time since we 've been here . Thank you Jesus . We got to go to dinner at a Mexican restaurant here - The Little Donkey . I got dressed in something that sort of matched , put on make up , sort of did my hair , and put on a necklace - which quickly came off because Jonathan tried to strange me with it from the Ergo ( all rare things for me to do here by the way ) for this special occasion . We were supposed to go a while ago while Adam was still here but when all the sickness hit it didn 't work out . My mind has been thinking of guacamole since I first heard of this place though and I couldn 't wait to go ! ! It did not disappoint . I had a chicken quesadilla dipped in sour cream and some guacamole and chips . This may sound normal to you - but this was quite the treat here ! After dinner one lady brought all the other kids home to watch a movie and the other lady and I went to the store ( with Andrew and Jonathan ) . I wish I had a video of the three of us ladies trying to carry on a conversation at dinner with the 10 kids we were all responsible for . At the end of our time ( and maybe our rope ) a couple came into the restaurant ( probably on a date ) and sat at the only other table in the little room with us . I felt so bad for them - I 'm sure they were happy when we finally cleared out ! : ) Tomorrow I have our ruling at court . It 's at 10 AM ( thankfully I don 't have to leave too early ) our time which is 2 AM your time Jacksonville ( incase you feel lead to wake up and pray - haha ) . The other ladies are so kind to watch Matthew and Andrew so I don 't have to take them with me . Please pray with us as we hope to hear that we have been granted guardianship of Jonathan and are able to bring him back to America . I was thinking on the way home tonight how crazy it is that all of this proAllison Alexander I really am enjoying life here SO much . A lot of people would probably think I 'm insane . That 's fine . Haha . I grew up with life like this . My heart really feels at home in the most unexplainable way when I am in a setting like this . Today was good . Andrew seems to be getting better . He gave me lots of smiles today . Only cried twice instead of every other second like he has been lately . We played with toys a lot . We had a few dance parties . Apparently I dance with my pointer fingers pointed . Andrew now dances with his hands like that and shows me very proudly every time . The things you learn in the mirror of children . : ) I 'm fairly certain I have better rhythm than him . It wouldn 't take much though . Watching him dance is one of my highest forms of entertainment . One of Matthew 's little friends came over for a while . I attempted to teach Matthew how to color inside the lines . . . not too interested . I told him it looked better than when he just scribbled like a crazy person all over the place . He cracked up at that . Whatever I guess . He will learn eventually . Haha . Kids got baths . We ate 3 meals again . . . sort of . . . dinner didn 't seem to be too big of a hit . I am trying out all sorts of things I found at the store here . Some are good . Some are . . . well . . . gross . I made bran muffins from a mix . I added a cut up apple . They were yummy . OH MY GOSH ! MID TYPING I SAW A LIZARD WALK ACROSS THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR ! ! THEY ARE MY WORST NIGHTMARE ! ! SEND ME HOME ! ! But seriously . . . that is by far the worst moment of my trip so far . Ugh . . . . . . . . . . help . I have a few pictures to share from our day ( and a few in the past ) . I figured you may enjoy some of the little traits of Jonathan that we love . I hope you enjoy the little sneak peek at him . I 'm also putting in some pictures of stuff around here too . And a little of our Christmas decorating time before Adam left . Coloring ! When I said scribble like a crazy person I wasn 't exaggerating . Letter to Santa ! He asked for a talking Buzz Lightyear and a James train . Matthew 's favorite ornamentThank you HoAllison Alexander
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So we got our passport on Monday . Tuesday morning I called IOM to see if we could drop of the papers for Jonathan and get an appointment for him to get his medical done . They said to come in at 10 to drop of papers AND do the medical . I only had about 30 minutes to get everyone ready ! We went to IOM and it went well . He passed and the file was going to be sent to the US Embassy the next morning . As soon as I got home from IOM I emailed the embassy to see if I could get an appointment for Wednesday to drop of my paperwork to them . You have to be paperwork ready before they schedule a visa interview for you . They told me that I could come in Wednesday at 11 : 30 for my paperwork ! They said that if my paperwork was ready I would probably be able to get an interview that afternoon . AMAZING ! When you have a visa interview - if you are granted a visa then it takes two days to process . Once you have the visa you can leave the country . It is the final step . That means if it works out - my visa would be ready on the Friday the 20th ! They only do interviews on Monday and Wednesday so Wednesday was my last chance to get a visa in time for being home for Christmas ! Tuesday night I was a ball of nerves . I had already been running like crazy for 2 days straight with passport and IOM . Now I had to make sure my paperwork was in order - and my mind started to drift to all sorts of what - ifs about being home for Christmas no matter how hard I tried not to ! I talked with Adam about it and called my parents to let them know . When I was talking to them I got really excited . As soon as I hung up I got an email from the embassy saying that all appointments for Wednesday were cancelled because of the unrest in Sudan . They would let us know when they were rescheduled . I instantly felt like I was going to throw up . SO close to being home for Christmas . I cried and went to bed . Each night before I go to sleep I 've been reading my Bible and a devotional book I 've brought . The book has been so perfect each day for what I need . That night the verse Posted by Today another lady here and I decided to go last minute grocery shopping before the Christmas crazies are out on the streets . Hard to believe the traffic could get crazier - but I think it is true . When our driver showed up he told us that we were supposed to be at the passport office at 2 . They didn 't know if our passports were there - but we were to show up . Our other friend here was super mom today and kept ALL the kids . A mistake I 'm sure she will never make again : ) but off the other two of us went ! We showed up to the tent office that we applied at . In the afternoon it is the pick up office instead of the application office . There were SO many people . Hundreds . A man stands in the front and whispers reads the names off of passports that are ready . Somehow people understand him and stand up and head to the other part of the office - aka another tent . Thankfully we had a helper with us who kept telling us where to go etc . We arrived around 1 : 15 . Things get started around 2 . My friend eventually got her passport . The man informed me that they were looking for Jonathan 's . I was so surprised that they even called for me to go to the office today that I wasn 't sure I would be going home with one . It has only been a week since I applied . Around 4 : 30 he told me that they should be calling our name anytime and I had to go inside this little room and sign for the passport . They close at 5 . Around 4 : 55 they motioned me into the room . Jonathan was in the carrier on my front and I was carrying our diaper backpack on my back . My shirt was SOAKED ! I looked like I had run a marathon - but in fact I had just held a baby against my body for almost 4 hours in the hot Ugandan sun . I pushed my way into the room . Seriously . . . jammed my way in . I finally reached close enough to the counter to sign a piece of paper for the man who took our file . He casually handed our passport behind the counter to another man further down . He motioned for me to go down there and sign . I CRAMMED my way through people to get there . The man actually hadI got home and facetimed Adam and held the passport in front of the camera . I wanted him to be as surprised as me ! We did not expect to get it this soon ! Now that we have it before Christmas we should FOR SURE be able to make it home by the time we planned . PRAISE the LORD ! Next is our medical appointment for Jonathan that is required by the US Embassy . I am calling tomorrow to hopefully get in this week and have it done before they close for Christmas so that when everyone opens back up after the holiday 's we can do the Embassy and be DONE ! Everything seems so close all of a sudden - of course it will take time with holiday closings - but having our passport is so unexpected and really the only " unknown amount of time " thing that we were waiting on . The rest is pretty predictable and scheduled . AMAZING ! ! ! ( Brandon - I am actually yelling that : ) ) Tonight we bagged up some special Christmas candy we had planned ahead for and brought to share with our friends . After bath we went and delivered it . So much fun . The boys were SO excited to tell the neighbor 's Merry Christmas ! ! I 'm so thankful we have other families to celebrate with . It is making the season still really fun while being away from home . Please pray that tomorrow the medical place will take us for an appointment . I fully trust God 's timing in this - but I know prayer moves the hand of God and I see that very clearly in the provision of our passport . I know a lot of you were praying for that with us . THANK YOU ! I get so giddy every time a new step happens towards getting our son home with us ! I 'm so amazed every time I re - realize that he is my SON ! Now I have a passport with the CUTEST little face in it from an amazing other country that will get my boy back home with us . I will keep this treasure forever . As I continue to ask God to give me more faith - something I learned at the VERY beginning of this journey - He continues to prove Himself EVER - FAITHFUL . Well . . . we have survived 13 days without daddy so far . Only 10 more to go ! The past few days have been hard . Probably just because things are just the same every day . . . and I 'm on my own . Nothing unbearable - just exhausting . The other morning at breakfast Jonathan was crying , Andrew was whining mommy over and over ( literally like a broken record ) and Matthew was sassing me . I said , " crying and whiney children make me want to pull my hair out ! " A few minutes after breakfast was over I heard Matthew playing in the living room say , " Crying and whiney children make my hair fall out . " That may be true too . . . not sure . Made me giggle . Yesterday I had to take Jonathan back to the doctor for his recheck and I went to the grocery store afterwards . I had only Jonathan and Andrew because Matthew always chooses to stay behind and play with his friends . : ) I can 't say I 'm upset that he would rather have this option . I was SO hungry at the grocery store - they say you aren 't supposed to grocery shop when you 're hungry because you will over - buy . Not in Africa . YOU GUYS ! I wanted a good meal ! I looked so hard for something that sounded yummy , that wouldn 't give us some disease , and that would not be too much work since the lights in my kitchen don 't work and I would be cooking in the dark . I found nothing . . . except donuts . Haha . Everyone knows my love for Dunkin Donuts . If the one on Sunbeam is closed it is because I have been gone too long ! I decided I didn 't have the energy or desire to figure something else out for dinner . Our electricity has been out for a few days so keeping food in the fridge is impossible and I had already eaten as many throw together things as I could handle . Eggs and donuts it was . Yes . . . Matthew drank a Fanta with it . I deserve an award . . . or a report written up on me . Not sure which one . Everyone seemed pleased with my choice though . : ) I did find a special treat for myself though ! I was so excited ! ! They weren 't the tastiest , but they were a lift to my spirit . They were so small that from a distance I thought they were cherry tomatoes . So we have survived a month being gone from Florida . Some parts of me feel like it 's been no time at all - and other moments in the day I feel like it 's been forever . : ) The other families here have been here much longer and I know I have nothing to complain about . Crazy that I 've lived in Africa for a month . It 's truly a dream come true ! I always hoped to be able to travel to this continent . I had no idea it would be to do life ! I 'm so blessed . The boys returning from their many adventures outside . Andrew somehow slipped his arm out of his shirt and this was his reaction . Haha . Matthew LOVES hiding himself in all the pillows . He also loves the water bottles here . Easy toys . We have enjoyed a few chilly days here due to rain . It 's so nice ! This is bath time here . There is a sliding shower door and after I 'm done washing the boys they like to slide it closed and splash and scream and have a grand time . I 'm thankful it contains the mess . : ) These boys can 't wait for Jonathan to wake up each morning . As soon as they heard him they came bounding in and peeked over the edge of the bed at him . Look at Jonathan 's sweet face between Matthew 's legs . He is taken with them too ! It is so hard for me to not be able to post sweet pictures of them all together on here ! Ugh . SOON ! Today we went to Watoto Church to see their children 's Christmas cantata . I was a little nervous about it because it is me vs . 3 kids 3 years old and under . For an African church service . . . aka LONG ! It went pretty well . : ) The kids were so cute . They did an AMAZING job of telling the story of Jesus ' birth . Next week we are going to brave going to see the adult cantata . I 'm excited about it . Christmas gets more amazing to me each year . JESUS came to earth ! God WITH us . AMAZING ! I hope that you all are getting to take time to think about the reason for celebration this time of year . Listen to the words of all the Christmas songs playing - they are POWERFUL ! We went to dinner afterwards at a little restaurant here that was so yummy . I got chicken tenders and mozzarella sticks . Both big treats . : ) There was room for the kids to play again . This swing was so fun . It was in the shade under the coolest looking tree that - oops - I didn 't get a picture of . Hopefully these cute boys will be enough though ! This was one SLEEPY boy ! We left for church at 11 and didn 't get home until 5 . Jonathan was in the carrier that whole time by the way . 6 good hours of bonding and SWEATING ! The only moment besides when the food came out that these ones were sitting still . : ) I 'm so thankful for friends for the boys to play with . I can 't imagine entertaining them by my boring self this long ! So one month in and we are doing great . We can 't wait for daddy to be back with us . I forgot to tell you that after church today a lady came up and introduced herself to me because we have boys the same age . Her in laws know my family and work for the same organization and they are from the same town as my parents live . I LOVE how God provides connections everywhere I go . I always get excited to see what ways He is going to use each time . I hope you had a wonderful Sunday and got to focus on Jesus . I know it was encouraging for my heart to be able to worship with a church family here in Africa . God 's truth rings out even across the ocean . And honestly it rings REALLY loud . : ) I woke up this morning to the mosque . . . and RAIN ! I LOVE being able to hear the rain so well . It has only rained a little here so far - but today it rained all day . It was nice . We got some down time as a family - much to Matthew 's dismay . He was so antsy to get outside and play . I really am so nervous about what is going to happen when we get back to Jacksonville and have no yard for him to play in . He has discovered the outside and fallen in love since we 've been here . It keeps him entertained and wears him out too - so I love it as well . : ) I made a delicious meal tonight that was simple , but made with American things and really hit the spot . Matthew even ate a whole round of seconds ! We also got to FaceTime with some people we really love today - Grandma and Papa , Pops and Milly , Daddy , and Mr . Anthony ! This also resulted in a few tears from me . I realized today that I haven 't even been here a month and still have over a month until we are back with those we love . I love it here - but wish I could somehow combine both worlds . I also had another moment of tears tonight as I fed Jonathan . I feed him his last bottle after the other two go to bed and it is the sweetest time . He has a few little scars on his body and as he held my hand while I fed him I was looking at the scars and realizing I will NEVER know what they are from . I will NEVER know what pain he endured in the first 6 months of his life . When he was sick and being poked at the hospital in the first few days of his life ( as I have experienced being here and at the doctor with all 3 boys ) - no one was holding him to comfort him and wishing the pain away . There was no face of love looking down at him , talking sweetly to him , and holding him tight - reassuring him that everything was going to be ok . As his little fingers held my hand tight tonight my heart was broken thinking about how someone else missed out on these moments with him . It brought a million questions about birth parents to my mind that once again will NEVER be answered this side of Heaven . I love Posted by To start with today and then give an update on the past few days . . . I went to a meeting at the US Embassy today . It is something they host each month to give updates on what is happening with the adoption process in Uganda . It was good . Nothing monumental . . . but good to go to . The Embassy " campus " is BEAUTIFUL ! My driver told me that Americans know how to make things nice . It is true . We are good at going above and beyond for looks ! : ) Sometimes that 's good - sometimes it 's terrible . Haha . It led us into a conversation about how I thought different things about Uganda are beautiful and things we don 't have in America . He thought some of the things were crazy because they are so normal to him . We had a great conversation about how creative God is - and how LITTLE we know about Him the more we learn . One thing I LOVE the most about going different places is seeing different things God has created and fashioned that are not in the area I usually live . The CD that was on in the car was a Passion cd . Both of us sang along as we drove through crazy Kampala traffic . I know this is a terrible description of it all but it was such a sweet worship moment . I can 't wait to see God ! We are all made in His image . . . and I look WAY different than Ugandans . . . or Chinese . . . or Norwegians - and yet all of us are created in His image . I can 't wait to see how beautiful and complex He is . Worship is really my only response to even thinking about that reality - I can 't imagine when it is made real ! I 'm so thankful to be loved by a God that I don 't have to earn favor with - that was proactive in a plan to redeem me to Himself . I pass a mosque on my way to and from anywhere here because it is right near our house . EVERY SINGLE TIME I get a feeling of emptiness looking at it . It is completely empty and looks so unloving and uninviting . I am so sad for those that go day after day seeking the approval of someone that will never be enough to save them . I 'm thankful for my adoption . My heart is so full of worship in the most unconventional ways here . I Posted by Something important happened on the continent of Africa this past Friday December 6th . Many people will think that I 'm talking about the death of Nelson Mandela . My friends will know I 'm talking about something else . . . The day started like normal . Me tired . The boys somehow fully rested after what seems like not enough hours of sleep to me . Breakfast . Getting dressed . And the playing begins . I was rushing around a little crazier than usual trying to make myself presentable . Thankfully we had electricity for me to straighten the hair I had slept on wet the night before . I did everything possible before putting on my outfit for court so it wouldn 't get ruined by food , snot , spit up or poop . I 'm happy to say none of those things ruined my clothes ! : ) Jonathan however slept . And slept . And slept . At the very last minute I woke him up and dressed him in his handsome little outfit . He was happy . And oblivious . The driver arrived and I ran out the door with him . My sweet friend watched the other two boys at home for me . As we drove through Kampala it was rainy . This was a blessing because it meant that many people were still inside and not on the street ! ! I fed Jonathan his bottle and he was as happy as could be . As we drove all of a sudden a mob of butterflies attacked my stomach . At least that 's what it felt like . I had not been nervous up until that point but as we approached the court house the reality started to hit me ( in the chaos of just getting through the morning ) that Jonathan would become legally my son on that very day ! I kept telling him over and over that today was a special day for him , and that today he would become a son and would no longer be an orphan ! When we arrived at the court house I was 45 minutes early for our court appointment . I sat and stood and paced with Jonathan in my carrier . I was the only person in the waiting room for the majority of the time . I had woken up with a little cold and had chugged a bottle of emergen - c before I left the house hoping it would give me a little extra immune boPosted by Just a quick update and a few more pictures . Today was good . Got all my chores done pretty quickly . The lizard hasn 't killed me yet , though I 'm not sure where it ended up so anxiety may be the end of me . The boys were pretty good - Andrew took a great nap for the first time since we 've been here . Thank you Jesus . We got to go to dinner at a Mexican restaurant here - The Little Donkey . I got dressed in something that sort of matched , put on make up , sort of did my hair , and put on a necklace - which quickly came off because Jonathan tried to strange me with it from the Ergo ( all rare things for me to do here by the way ) for this special occasion . We were supposed to go a while ago while Adam was still here but when all the sickness hit it didn 't work out . My mind has been thinking of guacamole since I first heard of this place though and I couldn 't wait to go ! ! It did not disappoint . I had a chicken quesadilla dipped in sour cream and some guacamole and chips . This may sound normal to you - but this was quite the treat here ! After dinner one lady brought all the other kids home to watch a movie and the other lady and I went to the store ( with Andrew and Jonathan ) . I wish I had a video of the three of us ladies trying to carry on a conversation at dinner with the 10 kids we were all responsible for . At the end of our time ( and maybe our rope ) a couple came into the restaurant ( probably on a date ) and sat at the only other table in the little room with us . I felt so bad for them - I 'm sure they were happy when we finally cleared out ! : ) Tomorrow I have our ruling at court . It 's at 10 AM ( thankfully I don 't have to leave too early ) our time which is 2 AM your time Jacksonville ( incase you feel lead to wake up and pray - haha ) . The other ladies are so kind to watch Matthew and Andrew so I don 't have to take them with me . Please pray with us as we hope to hear that we have been granted guardianship of Jonathan and are able to bring him back to America . I was thinking on the way home tonight how crazy it is that all of this proAllison Alexander I really am enjoying life here SO much . A lot of people would probably think I 'm insane . That 's fine . Haha . I grew up with life like this . My heart really feels at home in the most unexplainable way when I am in a setting like this . Today was good . Andrew seems to be getting better . He gave me lots of smiles today . Only cried twice instead of every other second like he has been lately . We played with toys a lot . We had a few dance parties . Apparently I dance with my pointer fingers pointed . Andrew now dances with his hands like that and shows me very proudly every time . The things you learn in the mirror of children . : ) I 'm fairly certain I have better rhythm than him . It wouldn 't take much though . Watching him dance is one of my highest forms of entertainment . One of Matthew 's little friends came over for a while . I attempted to teach Matthew how to color inside the lines . . . not too interested . I told him it looked better than when he just scribbled like a crazy person all over the place . He cracked up at that . Whatever I guess . He will learn eventually . Haha . Kids got baths . We ate 3 meals again . . . sort of . . . dinner didn 't seem to be too big of a hit . I am trying out all sorts of things I found at the store here . Some are good . Some are . . . well . . . gross . I made bran muffins from a mix . I added a cut up apple . They were yummy . OH MY GOSH ! MID TYPING I SAW A LIZARD WALK ACROSS THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR ! ! THEY ARE MY WORST NIGHTMARE ! ! SEND ME HOME ! ! But seriously . . . that is by far the worst moment of my trip so far . Ugh . . . . . . . . . . help . I have a few pictures to share from our day ( and a few in the past ) . I figured you may enjoy some of the little traits of Jonathan that we love . I hope you enjoy the little sneak peek at him . I 'm also putting in some pictures of stuff around here too . And a little of our Christmas decorating time before Adam left . Coloring ! When I said scribble like a crazy person I wasn 't exaggerating . Letter to Santa ! He asked for a talking Buzz Lightyear and a James train . Matthew 's favorite ornamentThank you HoAllison Alexander
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I am at one of my favourite places : H 's parents ' summerhouse . Many people in Sweden have a second home in the country , usually a cabin / cottagey type thing . This one is gorgeous - slap , bang in the middle of the woods , five minutes from the beach ; it is a little slice of tranquil heaven . I haven 't spent any time here since we last lived in Sweden , so it is lovely to return ; even better that H and the boys have gone canoeing and won 't be back until tomorrow - the stillness settles the soul ; the calmness soothes the brain ; the perfect place to step back and regroup . 1 . Customer Service . This , in itself , is an oxymoron . Yes , we 're the customers , but the service is usually non - existent . See here for my mini meltdown rave about some of my experiences . I find it very odd : for a country that is so PC it is almost torturous , and as a nation that avoids confrontation at all costs , I find it strange that there are so many public servants unwilling to provide customers with help . That said - because of their dislike of confrontation , the staff can behave as they like because nobody would ever complain . So , the customer service can be as crappy as hell , and it wouldn 't matter . I am a bit of a customer service freak : if I pay for service , I expect to receive adequate help if I need it . So , this bit about living in Sweden is somewhat irksome to me . 2 . Swedes often enjoy a little bit of one - up - manship . They like to boast ( very gently , of course - they are Swedes , after all , and don 't go in for vulgar gloating ) , about what they have . They buy expensive houses way out of their means , and only pay off the interest . So , they don 't ( and won 't ever ) own them . They are very materialistic , and I think , pretty judgemental . Only , they would never admit to that ( not even to themselves ) . 3 . The Swedes are very proud of their healthy lifestyles : they exercise , eat plenty of fruit and vegetables , and limit their kids ' sugar consumption . However , there is an undercurrent which is either hypocrisy or ignorance , and I am not sure which : they eat copious amounts of sausage and other processed meats that are absolutely jammed - packed with E numbers and artificial ingredients . In fact , pick up any random grocery item and you would be amazed by the contents , the majority unfavourable . Kind of like the UK 20 years ago , before we realised the dangers artifical addititves presented . So , banging on about kids only having sweets on a Saturday is somewhat redundant when you feed them food full of crap every day . 4 . They like herring . Lots of it . I don 't like it , and this seems to rankle with Swedes . In the 15 years H and I have been together , his family have tried to persuade me to eat it ; even so far as one Midsommer trick me into it eating it ! It just doesn 't sit well with them that it 's not for me . My boys like it ; thank goodness - otherwise could you imagine the grief I would get then ? They would assume that I was cheer - leading my own " We hate sill " campaign . And while we are on the subject of food - most of theirs is bland . And that 's coming from an English woman ; we 're not exactly adventurous in my part of the world . 5 . They don 't shout . Ever . I do . Lots . It makes me feel as though social services are going to come pounding on my door at any given moment , after receiving a complaint of continued shouting at children ! I am not that bad , promise , but when they are all so held - together , it makes you feel like that ! 6 . They don 't queue . They just seem unable to grasp the concept . In the same token , they don 't let you out in traffic either ; they also don 't wave thank you when you do let them out . As a polite nation I find this a rather odd phenomenon . To help with a lack of queueing , everywhere you go there are ticket systems in place , where you take a ticket and wait for your number to be called . Very handy when there are numerous people all jostling for service , kind of redundant when it is just you , but you still have to stand their like a numpty , waiting for your number to be called . 7 . It 's expensive . God , is it expensive . Everything is two or three times as much as in the UK . Okay , wages are slightly higher , but not that much in comparison to the UK . Come back , Primark ; all is forgiven ! Phew . Okay , I think I will give the Swedes a break now . I would love to hear other expat 's views on our lovely adopted homeland , and the little things they find annoying . Well , not when I say action , I mean spending my spare time writing another blog . I know . How unforgivable of me . It 's here if anyone is interested ! Things are really great for us in Sweden . I have not had one moment 's regret since coming back almost a year ago . Yes , there have been the odd twinges of annoyance : when H 's parents over - step the mark ( which have been surprisingly few and far between ) ; quirky , infuriating Swedish rules ( how a British person can 't use her passport as a proof of ID if it is more than eight years old ) ; and appalling customer service ( " oh , I 'm sorry … . the person you want is off to a meeting in 30 minutes , so she won 't take your phone call . Call back next Monday " ) . Other than that , it 's been just fab ! My kids are very settled at school , especially my seven year old . Every day I pick him up , he 's with a different child , and they are queuing up to come and play . It 's very reassuring . He 's just had his first party in Sweden , and it was a big hit ; other than the fact the Swedish kids don 't much care for chocolate birthday cake ( home - made , too ) . We also found several ( okay then , most ) of his friends rather odd . There were very little manners between them , and they spoke in a way to us that I wouldn 't ever want my kids to speak to adults . I think a big problem these days , and not just in Sweden , I might add , is parents being afraid to be parents ; they are so terrified of making their child cross , or sad , that they are failing to lay down rules , and ultimately , respect towards others is sadly lacking . Sweden was berated a while back for being " helicopter parents " : always hovering , and never allowing their kids to be just kids . I have seen that over - protective parent thing a lot here in Sweden . I 'm a protective parent , believe me , but there are times when you need to let your little boy jump from that tree , or let him walk to the playground two minutes away from your house . I am not saying this is okay for every family , or every area ; but we live in such a quite , peaceful village , and sometimes you just have to let your kids gain a bit of independence . My nine year old is slightly different : he is undergoing evaluation for ADD / ADHD , after the school noticed that his attention and concentration were a little off . We 'd noticed it at home , obviously , but had always been reassured by his school in the UK that he was a model student . Sadly , it seems that his " model behaviour " was actually him just sitting back , right under the radar . We had a lot of beef with his school , and we are trying to be diplomatic and bear in mind that in the UK , he had one teacher and a part time assistant for 30 pupils ; in Sweden , he has two full time class teachers and an assistant for 18 kids , plus he has two special teachers for maths and Swedish . The important thing is that they are on the ball here , and we are now aware of it , so hopefully we 'll have some answers , and a confirmed diagnosis . He 's always been such a sensitive little boy , and I 've been reading a lot about Highly Sensitive People ( I am one , myself ) ; he really does fit the criteria for that , too . So , his time at school is not as easy his boisterous younger brother . He has one best friend , and doesn 't seem very interesting in making any others . Some of the kids seem a bit mean in his class , but I can 't determine whether that is just a mix of him being very sensitive , and them being nine year olds , or something more . But , generally , he seems very happy , which makes us very happy ! There just isn 't the same feeling of stress here . Yes , it is confusing to know whether they need indoor our outdoor PE shoes ( yes , the have two separate pairs ) , and some things are simply done differently , but on the whole , everything feels a lot calmer and relaxed . I am sat in my garden as I type , and all I can hear are chirping birds . It 's bliss ! I am also on a health kick - detoxing today , as I write ! Man , it 's tough , but I feel it 's a necessary evil . The first time I did it ( a few months ago ) , I went from eating a full - fat , crap diet to a complete detox . I nearly killed myself ! I have never felt so ill in my life ! This time around , my diet is so much better : I make my own bread ; rarely eat anything processed ( instead , preferring to cook all meals from scratch ) , and have kicked all the junk food ( which has become surprisingly easy over time ) . I have even got into the spirit of all things Swedish , and started running . They all do it here , so if you can 't beat them … . This I would never , not in a million years , have done in the UK . I am nearer to 50 than 40 , and I think people in England would have found the sight of me puffing down the street beyond hilarious ! So , that 's a little update from me ! I guess you could say I am happy , and so is my family . And that 's all we wish for , isn 't it ? There have been a couple of joint parties this year , where two kids have got together for their birthday celebrations . The school allows private parties in the hall for free , IF all children in the class are invited . Bear in mind that it is actually two separate Montessori years that work very closely together , so a total of around 40 children . I never gave it a great deal of thought , thinking that perhaps the kids or parents were friends , and they just found it easier to combine parties . That was until I received an email from the father of a child who has recently had a joint party with another boy . He was bemoaning the fact that the party generated too many presents . I know . How horrible . Evil parents of party - going children , you should be ashamed of yourselves ! His email declared his intention to wage a one - man campaign against joint parties involving only two participants . He wanted there to be one joint party every season ; so we 're talking about celebrations for 10 children per go . This made us scratch our head a bit . Surely , ten children generate MORE presents , and not fewer ? Each child would still get one present from every guest . Wouldn 't they ? So , the logistics would be horrific . Yes , admittedly , one party a season might be easier to organise if you all pitched in - but could you imagine turning up with ( and paying for ) ten presents ? You 'd need a wheelbarrow to transport them all ! And then another one , this time , more specific - they asked , as my son 's birthday is in May , would we like to join in with their child . How do they know my son 's birthday is in May ? He has only been in the school since August , so he has not had any other birthdays . Where have they got his personal information from ? Granted , them having his date of birth is not going to crumble national security , but even so ; it 's not something I feel particularly comfortable with . Firstly , what kind of party we have is up to my son . He doesn 't want a big party full of kids he doesn 't particularly like . He wants a small party at home , with some of his best friends . And you know what , I have to agree with him . When your six , you deserve to have a special day , where the emphasis is on you , and not shared with several other children . So , he will have his little party , and I am sure he will enjoy it . This got me thinking about Swedish mentality . They remind me of sheep . They follow anyone they perceive to be a leader - and in this case , the guy brazen enough to send a circular email with his views to 40 other parents . There is a real feeling of one - up - man - ship here . Or , it would be more accurate to say that it is all about keeping up with , although not necessarily better than , the Joneses ( or Johanssons ) . There is a tangible need to fit in , to be on the same level as everyone else ; it doesn 't seem okay to stand out of a crowd , figuratively speaking , or be different . They can also be incredibly anal , everything is done to the letter , correct and in its place . Seriously though , this shouldn 't actually be life or death . It 's parties , for goodness sake ! Come on Swedes - throw caution to the wind , and throw your child their OWN party ! We live in the south of Sweden , and the weather is very similar to the north of England ( where I originate from ) . I think most people are under the impression that all of Sweden is covered in snowdrifts as high as houses for most of the year , and seem rather disappointed when I explain that 's not the case . However , despite not having to withstand conditions as tough as they do in the far north , the southern Swedes are still very adept at wrapping up warmly . They wear all - in - one overalls , winter boots , big furry hats and huge mittens - and that 's just the adults ! They take keeping warm very seriously indeed . Therefore , it probably doesn 't come as a great surprise to learn that it embarrasses me no end when my kids refuse to wear their hats and gloves . I watched my nine year old walk home from school today - he came skipping down the road ( I can see the school from my house ) , with his coat wide open , no hat , and no gloves ; nose as red as Rudolph 's , and hair flapping in the wind . He didn 't have a care in the world . I , on the other hand , urgently scanned the periphery for the hoards of neighbours muttering to themselves about how English people can 't dress their kids appropriately . I picked my six year old up from school a few weeks back , and it was a particularly cold day . They were outside playing , and every single child was dressed up as described above , apart from my lad . I was somewhat miffed , because he 'd gone to school with snow trousers , coat , hat and gloves . Apart from the coat , he was wearing none of the other items . I whizzed up to the teacher to ask why he wasn 't wearing them , and she told me he 'd apparently said he didn 't have a hat or gloves . I was most indignant that of course he had them with him , and that next time they should ensure he was wearing them . My little lad got a bit of an rant on the way home about the importance of wearing his winter clothes ! Did it work ? Did the message get through ? No , unfortunately not ; it seemed to fall on very deaf ears . In our house , we have a hat and glove eating ghost . We must have . Where else would they all go ? At the start of season , we had hundreds of both , and we are now down to one hat that doesn 't fit either of them . So who knows where they are - the kids have probably lost them on purpose to stop me nagging at them to put them on ! Either that , or they are laughing themselves silly , at our expense , with the odd socks that have also vanished . So , why are my kids so unconcerned with dressing up warm , when every other child in Sweden seems to have it ingrained in their DNA ? I blame the UK - we just don 't dress our kids appropriately . When it snows we put wellies on them , when really it should be hardy winter boots ; and when it is raining , we make no provision whatsoever - they walk to school with no rain clothes , get soaked to the skin , with no other dry clothes to change in to . Not only do kids in Sweden have warm winter outer wear , they also have rain clothes . This means that they are allowed to play outside come rain or shine ; none of this ridiculous , namby - pamby business about schools following absurd health and safety guidelines here , and quite rightly so . In Sweden , they 've got it just about right - provide your kids with rain clothes , and everything just works ! But it 's not only the kids that wear rain clothes in Sweden ; the adults partake in a little protective gear , too . Although I completely agree that it is the practical and sensible thing to do , it does look faintly ridiculous to see a grown man wearing rain clothes ! Going back to health and safety ( a favourite subject of mine , can you tell ? ) , the UK have got themselves so tied up in knots trying to prevent accidents from happening , that they only thing they are succeeding in preventing is kids be kids . It 's a very rare day when my kids are not allowed out to play at break time , and that 's how it should be . Let them get some fresh air to blow away the cobwebs ! My eldest was eight when we left the UK , and had been at school since he was four - however , in all those years , I never once got the chance to see him participate in a sports day - every year , they were cancelled ; either because it had been raining , was raining or was forecast to rain . To me , that is policy gone mad ! I guess their fear is that someone is going to fall over and hurt themselves ; ' cos , like , kids never do that , do they ? And even if they do fall over because it 's wet ? Well , then that 's called an accident , and life goes on . Wrapping kids up in cotton wool will do them no favours in the long - run . In a similar vein , I remember walking to pick my kids up from school the first day . There were kids everywhere , hanging off trees , knee - deep in sand , and hidden away in every conceivable corner you could imagine . The cacophony of noise was deafening , even in the open air , but one thing was unmistakable : the laughter and the joy . There were no teachers yelling for them to get down from high trees ; they were merely allowing the children to explore , possibly make their own mistakes , but ultimately , just be themselves . I found that just wonderful , and so liberating . We need to encourage our kids to just enjoy life ; adulthood will have enough for them to worry about . Let them live in the moment , without instilling worry about how they might slip over if it is wet . Let them run free . Let them be kids ! So much has happened , yet so little , if that makes any sense ? I am working pretty much full time as a freelance writer * , and there have been times when I was so busy that I couldn 't think straight . In the beginning I took on so much work , trying to prove something ( what exactly , God only knows ) to myself , my clients , my in - laws , but pretty soon burned myself out ! I took two full weeks off over Christmas , and have come back with a new attitude : do as little as possible ! Seriously though , I don 't need to kill myself over it ( and certainly don 't need to prove anything to anyone ) , and from now on , will just take on enough to work to put some pennies in my pocket and keep the wolf from the door . The kids have settled into their schools so well , and their Swedish is coming on leaps and bounds . Mine isn 't , unfortunately . I always say to H that if people speaking to me came with subtitles , I would do great ; I am pretty much fluent in reading and writing , but speaking and listening ? Oh , goodness ! Panic is the culprit . It makes your brain turn to fluff and you sound like a moron . This time around , I really don 't care . Well , not as much as I used to . I try to laugh at myself , and that seems to work . Prime example : We get our eggs from a neighbour , and the last few times he has come with them , H has been out , and I haven 't had any money . Up until recently , I haven 't been shopping alone , so haven 't needed to have any spare cash in my purse ; but after doing this several times , I was embarrassed to look like the little kept - woman , so when he came with the eggs , I remembered that H had put some coins in a jar in the kitchen . Panic set in - he was stood at the door , my six year old was balancing 24 eggs like a juggler in a circus , and my dog was howling hysterically in his cage . I looked in the jar , saw two coins , one with the number two , and the other with the number one ; in my moment of panic , I picked them up and handed them over . He just looked at them , with puzzlement in his eyes . In my dazed state , I had picked up three Euros . The eggs were 35 Swedish Kronor . In my defence , I had thought the eggs were 30 Kronor , and I had seen the two and the one , and tried to make them miraculously add up to 30 . What I was thinking , God only knows . More to the point , what on earth was my poor neighbour thinking : a deranged English women who stumbles out with a random amount of foreign currency in her hand to pay for eggs ? Previously , I lived in Sweden for six years and their money is simple ; and , there is no 20 Kronor coin , only a note . I was so mortally embarrassed that I laughed so much I nearly wet myself ( after he 'd gone , you understand ) , and then cried hot tears of shame . All I could think about was how idiotic I must have looked . H laughed like a drain when I told him , and it is so beyond ludicrous , that thankfully , humour is the only thing I now recall when thinking about it . The in - laws are starting to encroach on our space a little more - turning up unexpectedly , or hovering around in the garden doing maintenance work . H 's dad is bored and does things to occupy his time . They mean well , and deep down I know that , but I am a private person , and it throws me a little to be sat in my pyjamas and suddenly see his dad waI also pretend to have a clean and tidy house , a bit like a show room : I clean within an inch of my life when visitors are looming , but tend not to worry too much when they aren 't . People dropping by unexpectedly unnerve me . H 's dad is fine - he never comes in the house , or even knocks . His mum is a little more forthright , shall we say ! Last time she came , she knocked on every window , and sometimes just opens the door without knocking . I need to be careful what I say , because last time she did that , my nine year old rolled his eyes and said in a dramatic stage - whisper " can 't she KNOCK ? " . Ah , the sins of the fathers ( or rather , the gobby , outspoken mothers ) . I was talking to a mum at school yesterday who told me that in my eldest boy 's class there are two children with English speaking parents , and that her little girl is best friends with a child whose mum is from Wales . This is a small village ! What are they all doing here ? It just amazes me how many English speaking ex - pats gravitate towards this quiet part of Sweden ( or any part , come to that ) . So , that 's it for now ! I really need to keep in touch more often - this blog was a huge outlet for me when I first arrived , and there are so many lovely people who read my entries ! Hope everyone is well , and all the best for the New Year ! I often wonder if my friends actually see my eyes glaze over . Is there a point where they think " Ah , yep . She 's a goner " ? The most excrutiating thing for me is that I begin to pretend . Pretend that I understand . I listen to the cues of the other people around me and nod my head in agreement when there is a break in the conversation , or a slightly different intonation of the voice . My biggest fear is that my body language is not mirroring their conversation . That I might be raising my eye - brows in exaggerated disbelief when they are talking about some great achievement they have made . Or that I might be nodding and smiling while they are talking about the death of a beloved animal . I don 't do a great deal , you see . Other than spend most of my day sitting at a keyboard . And eating cake . That 's the problem with suddenly not working ( in a " proper " job , that is ) - you have time to crave cake . And time to bake it . I was strong , so strong . For all of a week . Kept up with my rabbit - food munching , didn 't touch bread ( and if I did , it was multi - grain ) and walked a fair bit . But now , I have slipped well and truly out of what I call " The Zone " . But , that said , a lot of the food the Swedes eat is not that healthy . The love they have for sausage ( every kind you can think of ) borders on obsessional and as for cheese , well , let 's not go there . The difference is that they eat a balanced diet . For every sausage they eat , three carrots are consumed . They have unique ways of eating their veggies , too : 101 ways to cook an artichoke being one of my particular favourites .
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~ : M A R L I S • A N D • M O L L Y : ~ It 's not often that you meet the perfect person for a healthy friendship . And it 's even more unlikely that you meet two at once . So I feel pretty blessed to have these 2 women as very good friends . Marlis and Molly . I actually met Marlis while we were both Portfolio Center students - she as an Illustration major , me as a Design major . But I really didn 't get to know her well until we met again at a Callenwolde calligraphy class . That 's where we met Molly , too . The three of us had great fun together and became fast friends . We started meeting up every Friday morning at Java Monkey ( the Minkee ) for breafast and lonnnng long talks . When I first quit my job to start my own gig , they were both incredibly supportive and always fun . We 've just found out that Molly is moving . While I am excited for their family to evolve and grow , I am sad and will miss her . Molly and Marlis planned to throw a shower for me , which had to be rescheduled because of my hospitalization . But because of this crazy time of year , we ended up cancelling the event and had an intimate gathering of our own . Very sweet and yummy and rejuvenative . So here are some sweet picturess of our fun time together . God bless Marlis and Molly ! I should be in bed by now but I need to share with you all what it feels like to watch your baby learn how to smile . Smiling expresses pleasure and it 's the most wonderful gift to give another person . Smile at them . My friend Tina says that when your baby smiles - it 's pay day for you . Last night at 3AM , I woke up to feed Anton and he smiled at me BIG time . A full - faced smile with his mouth and eyes . He 's an angel . There 's nothing like the feeling you get when you know your child is content enough to smile and be sociable . Taking care of Anton is getting way more fun these days . He 's becoming more interactive - looks deeply into my eyes . Searches for me from across the room . Responds to my voice . Coos with pleasure . What else is nice about Anton ? He can sleep 8 - 9 hours straight at night , so we 're all getting more sleep these days . This means my headaches are getting better and I continue to feel more grounded . I had another day with no headache this week . I will be so happy to have more of them . I fit into my old " skinny " jeans this week . Boy , are they TIGHT , but I managed to squeeze into them . This is another happy milestone ! I am beginning to feel more like a mother . More capable . Less detached from people and my previous life . My worlds are meeting and I am beginning to believe that I can do this . I AM doing it . There is nothing like picking up your baby and resting his head on your neck . Feeling his hot breath whisper in your ear . Tiny little panting noises . He smells like vanilla . Sweet and warm and pudgy . Perfect little creature . My Anton . My sweet boy . My life . My joy . My child . My boy . Anton is dressed here in a " Pee Pee TeePee " - a baby gift from my friend Rita . These little thingies work like a charm - preventing the mark of Zoro on my shirt and face during the dangerous work of diaper changes . For a split second there I was thinking , " Too bad they only come in blue for boys - they 'd be really cute in pink " And then the thought hit me that girls are made differently . I have placenta brain and can 't think any more . Some good news other than Anton , is that I 've had two days in a row now without a bad headache . I also took a walk on Monday and felt grounded for the first time , like I wasn 't going to float away and faint . I 'm getting my strength back in my core - like I can stand on my feet and stretch my muslces and get out of breath and have it feel good . I just want to feel normal , you know ? Sat at my desk for the first time in months yesterday , printed out a calendar and started writing things down . It 's a bit overwhelming to look at your life again and wonder how you 're going to juggle the old and new . Hmmmph . Bjorn pooped in four places and peed in two in Anton 's room today . I am going to kill him . Grrrrrr . We celebrated Anton 's first Holiday this weekend starting with Thanksgiving Dinner in Atlanta and the rest of the weekend in Clayton . Above is a beautiful picture of Gloria and Mia holding Anton . They all got to meet for the first time . Packing a car with a new baby is very tricky . We brought Bjorn , too , which only added to our load . Life 's wonderfully complicated , though . The drive up was very happy . Doug and I used to make this trip wishing we had a baby in the back seat . This year our wish came true . Introducing Anton to my brother Peter was a real thrill . Another dream come true . I am still battling headaches . I wish they would go away . I think the constant looking down and handling the baby is hard on my neck and shoulders . Being an older mother I 'm sure makes it harder , too . I so want to feel normal . When I don 't have a headache , it 's so liberating . THIS is what I 'm supposed to feel like ! It 's what normal should be . I 'll continue to be patient . We took more pictures of the weekend . Check them out ! Thanksgiving in AtlantaThanksgiving in ClaytonOh , and I miss you all . I miss being able to blog , having the energy to float around and visit other blogs . I miss knitting every day . I miss sleep . I miss feeling well . But when you see the pictures we 're taking of Anton , you 'll see the logic of why our race thrives . There 's no denying him . His job is to sleep and eat and thrive . And mine is to make sure he does . Love to you all , ~ Anne ~ : S I X • W E E K S • O L D : ~ Good morning Friends of Anton , Things are going well here at the Elser house . I have been recovering very well and finally feel like myself again . Here 's why : 1 . Headaches are getting better . In addition to meds from the neurologist , I am seeing my chiropractor again , who suspected a pinched nerve might be part of my head pain . He was correct and I 've got my life back again . 2 . I can take walks again . And am strong enough to push Anton 's carriage . This is very freeing , feeling the cool fall breeze and pushing my baby while he sleeps . 3 . I can drive again . I 'm off the meds that make me too sleepy to drive . So now I 've got my independence back and can go out whenever I wish , as long as someone can watch Anton . 4 . I can carry Anton in his carrier . I 'm strong enough to lift him in and out of the car without doing damage to my surgery site or my neck and shoulders . This means we can go out TOGETHER whenever we wish ! Even more independence . 5 . Anton can sleep a 6 hour stretch at night ! So we often get enough sleep at night , which is wonderful feeling . 6 . Bjorn is back home ! And is a different dog , after having lived with the pack for over a month . He follows directions much better now , is not a fussy eater any longer and is respectful of Anton and " shows " Anton to newcomers who enter the house . He 's eager and well adjusted and not a bit jealous . God bless Vida Ellis , who kept him safe and entertained while I was so sick . 7 . I went to church last Sunday and received prayer for my continued healing . The person praying with me got the sense that I had attached shame to my difficulties with the pregnancy , birth and postpartum period . She was right . So we prayed about that specifically . There 's a part of me that thinks brought this experience on myself and that I deserved the pain and difficulty . As if ! I am so mean to myself . Right after prayer , I had an opportunity to reject the shame in response to a mildly shaming remark made by someone who came to see Anton . Though it might have been well Posted by ~ : C O N T R O L : ~ Though I 'm madly in love with Anton , I 've said goodbye to the notion of control . At least for the time being . This is the largest reality shift I 've ever made . I 've been brought to my knees by this beautiful creature . We 're both new to everything . All of this . Having decided my life had space for a new being - to enlarge our family , I 've got to make room for new things and say goodbye to others . Control being the first . I am a schedule freak . A list maker . An organizer . The person who does it best . The person who thinks of things first . A fixer . A doer . A person who finishes tasks . Who makes everything . Today I am a person who is new at this huge life shift and is struggling to just keep my balance . Mom says you just get better at it and your confidence grows as you do . She says I sound better than I think I do . And that I 'm doing fine . I have no reference other than to think SHE , my own mother , has more experience and could do it better . So today I just felt overwhelmed . I cried . Anton just looked up at me with the sweetest look on his face . I sang the Skye Boat Song to him and just rocked him . Both of us actually . I woke him up from his nap and whispered in his ear that God was with us . Oh boy , do I need God now . Now more than ever . So , yes . He is beautiful and I love him . And yes , I am scared to death . Not missing my old life so much . Just unsure about the new one . I have to remind myself of all the previous new hard big things I 've accomplished so far . And that I did them well , after letting the boat rock me into a new schedule . Once I find it , I 'll be just fine . It 's how I 've done things in the past . Find the footing . Maybe Anton 's my footing and I just don 't know it yet . Hey guess what ? I walked to the mailbox and back today ! For the first time in over 3 months . What joy ! I also ran the dishwasher . And we 're moving the cat box back inside so I can clean it again . And BjornMouse comes home tomorrow night . So we 'll be a family again . Oh , and my tits are on fire . Gotta go . Time to wake up AntoPosted by ~ : F O U R • Y E A R • A N N I V E R S A R Y : ~ Doug and I celebrated our four year wedding anniversary yesterday . Anton 's the real gift . A neighbor brought us pot roast for dinner and we went to bed early - exhausted and deliriously happy . My head 's feeling much less sore , though now I 'm experiencing tension headaches at night . I wish I could snap my fingers and get rid of them . I am impatient about the time it 's taking for my body to heal . I should be better to myself . I think these new headaches are about the huge responsibility before me now . I am in charge of someone 's life . It 's crazy . Me ? Take charge and make sure things are in place for Anton to thrive ? Like I know what I 'm doing ? Nanny and I took Anton to his 2nd check up at the pediatrician on Wednesday . Gaining an ounce a day and doing very well . Though I kept thinking the nurse and Dr . were scrutinizing me . " Who put HER in charge ? SHE ' S a mother ? " I know it 's all in my head and is all about my own insecurities . I kept thinking , " What if he gets sick ? " And then I 'd say to myself , " Um , you 'd take him to his doctor and then he 'd get better . " Enough about me . . . Anton 's a real trip . We are all pretty dern sure he 's got Doug 's legs . He loves to stretch them out whenever possible , especially when you put him in a pair of pants . It 's hysterical to watch . I think the first thing he 'll want instead of a Tonka Truck , would be his own ottoman . We let the cats back in the house this weekend . I missed them . They 're curious about Anton - but shoot out of the room if he cries . There 's an awful lot of sniffing going on . I 'm sure there 's more to come when Bjorn gets back . I remember there being a TV in the family delivery recovery room they gave me after the c - section . And I remember thinking , WHO would ever want to stop looking at their newborn baby and turn to the TV for entertainment ? Still getting the hang of all this new baby stuff . Major lifestyle change - for the better . I don 't see imperfections in the house anymore . I don 't see dust bunnies on the floor . I donPosted by ~ : S L E E P • H U N G E R • L O V E : ~ Oh joy , this is fun . Such , such fun . Anton and I had our first full day alone together yesterday . We did it ! So I 'm happy and feeling more confident . I have so many thoughts to share with you all and am too tired at the moment to list them all , but wanted to give you a quick update to let you know we are home and I am doing very well - slowly recovering , slowly saying goodbye to those headaches and moving around more easily around the house . People have been incredibly generous with food . I 've never eaten more healthily before in my life . Nor have I ever had such an appetite . I feel pretty chipper during the day . Mornings feel best . But by 6 : 00 , I am more tired than I can describe in words . The best I can manage is to raise a fork to my face and shovel food into my own mouth . Sounds ridiculous , but it 's true . We feed Anton again around midnight and then try to stretch those night time feedings further and further apart . Though it 's tricky - as we all get to know each other . Life 's all about who is hungry and who is tired . It 's fun , though . Feeding Anton is the most satisfyingly simple thing I 've ever done . He really is an easy baby - though he had a meltdown yesterday . I took his cue and had one of my own seconds later . So we all sat in the nursery last night and Doug comforted us both . So sweet . It must be hard to be a new person , I think . Everything 's new . It must be scary to be hungry , to cry . . . to trust that you 'll feel better in a second or two . Trying to see the world through Anton 's eyes really is enlightening for me . I feel so much like him . If I were to pick him out of a room of babies , I 'd pick him . He feels so mine . Even Doug feels more mine . I love him more and more each day . Having this baby has expanded my heart . My capacity for kindness , humility , grace . I feel like an entirely different person . I feel more of everything . I am so glad to be home and feeling better . Saturday morning I made toast and coffee and OH it was glorious to be standing in my own kitchePosted by Dear Friends and family , This is a very wordy e - mai you may wish to glaze over if you don 't ' have a lazy afternoon or evening to spare for its digestion . Otherwise , enjoy . First of all , Anton is doing fabulously well . I , however , am not - though on the mend . The very next day after discharge , I was readmitted to the hospital for pregnancy induced hyper tension . Then cluster migraines . And to top it off , experienced a seizure for the first time in my life , was rushed down to the ICU and remained there over night for closer observation . I was readmitted back to my old room here up on HRP and have been slowly weaned off medications like something for bruising that happens to your brain when you get hit with migraines , magnesium sulfate , high blood pressure medication , pain meds , etc . . They will send me home with medication to control this postpartum pregnancy induced hypertension . It has been horrible . The migraine pain on a scale from 1 - 10 was a twenty . We hope the worst is far behind us and we can go home - and STAY home as a well family at last . Right now we are looking at a date of later this week to go home at last . Something like Weds , Thursday or Friday . Keep your fingers crossed ! Doug , Mom and Dad have been a tremendous help . They have been able to bond with Anton in a way that I have not quite yet had the energy or health to do so . I am told that Anton will remember me once we are close again and in the quite peacefulness of our cozy home . After all , I have a lifetime of memories to build with him , don 't I ? The complications of this pregnancy have been such a tremendous test of character for me . I am confident that Doug has passed , Anton has passed and Mom and Dad have as well . All with flying colors . Today I am looking for the faith needed to give myself the same passing grade . There is a voice in my head that pipes up in times in great stress - and I am looking deeply for that voice today . I will have a lot of time for myself to dwell and ponder , pray , meditate and relax . I pray or peace . I pray to find a nePosted by Good morning , everyone . I 'm Doug Elser , a guest columnist on the ever - popular annepages . Just wanted to give everyone an update on both Anne and our new arrival , Anton . Anne was readmitted to Northside on Thursday with problems stemming from postpartum preeclampsia , also known as Pregnancy Induced Hypertension . In an earlier post , she spoke of the horrific headache she had right after delivery . Well , it never really went away . . . and after being discharged on Wednesday - - without the aid of the good hospital drugs - - the headache came back with a vengeance on Thursday morning . Anne is such a strong woman , but 37 days in the hospital , plus a c - section , plus a headache that she rated ( without hyperbole ) as a 20 on a scale of 1 to 10 . . . Well , damn , I can 't help but feel that she 's had quite enough " character - testing . " when they finally figured out that Anne 's 160 / 105 blood pressure was nearly TWICE her own normal pressure , coupled with the headache , and some bloodwork . . . they got the diagnosis of PIH correct . and gratefully , it is mild . Her pressures are coming down , and after many many ct - scans and mri 's , they have ruled out any serious brain problems . Last night , a headache / migraine specialist came to see us , gave her a cocktail , and now her pain is down from 20 to 3 , maybe less ( I 'll let you know when she wakes up ! ) . Anne would love to hear from all of you wonderful friends out there via email and your usual wonderful posts here . Signs point toward being released back home on Sunday . and then finally the chance to enjoy our beautiful boy . grandma Nancy came by with Anton yesterday afternoon , and he got some QT with mommy and daddy . He is too wonderful for words . He 's also eating like a little pig , trying to catch up in the weight department so he can start wearing pants that won 't make him look like MC Hammer ala 1989 . love to all , Doug , Anne , and Anton dear all . i am in lovewith my new baby , my husband , my parents and EVERYTHING . surgery went super well in spite of being delayed FIVE agonizing hours . i literally cried the whole time and it was just as frightening as i had imagines . while staring at the blue screen , i listed all the things i missed about home : bjorn , my kitchen , baking the cake in clayton , my red chair , the kidney shaped flower bed in our front yard , my flower boxes , the japanese maple , our cozy bedroom , the cradle , the new nursery , doug 's mother , my brother , and then i listed bjorn a couple times more . . . but nothing prepared me for the little squeek i heard coming from the other side of the screen . it was our little boy , loud and clear . I 've added him to my list of most favorite things . i think that is an understatement . it 's a bit of a blur and i can 't remember exactly what time he was born . i 'd ask doug , but he 's fast asleep right now . so I 'll post more later and fill you in on the details . I think , THINK he was born at around 3 : 00 . It took me longer to recover - i had the worst headache of my life - very scary , but it went away thanks to a good dose of pain killers and doug 's palm on my forehead and the most beautiful prayers I 've ever hear come from any one person 's mouth . he was masterful . we are finally parents . His name is Anton Dusenberry Elser . more later . night for now . ~ : B I M P • I S • R E A D Y : ~ After such a long trip , we are cleared for take off ! Bimp 's lung maturity results came back loud and clear - he is ready . I will be prepped tomorrow morning here in my room at 6 : 00 and will be downstairs in the anywhere from 7 : 00 - 8 : 00 . Surgery is scheduled for 9 : 00 . After living in this four - walled room for a month , they will cut a little window out for Bimp and I to leave - together - to meet you all on the other side . Next time you get an e - mail from Doug or me , we 'll be parents . Oh joy . I cannot explain in words how I feel . Bimp and I enjoyed our last meal together tonight , connected by a physical cord . Mom , Dad and Doug brought a yummy dinner and we chinked our styrofoam cups together in a toast to honor this long journey 's end of waiting . It 's a little sad , saying goodbye to this pregnancy , though I 'm so looking forward to the next stage . The next time I see Bimp , we 'll be breathing the same air . I imagine we 'll both be crying . Sweet dreams , ~ Anne ~ P I E C E • O F • C A K E : ~ Good morning ! The amnio was easy cheesey - over really quickly and boy was it smooth . I was more relaxed than I thought I would be . Dr . Eller was amazing . Masterfully calm and confident . I was picturing scrubs and monitors and a flurry of nervous people . This experience has done a lot to boost my confidence in the staff here . My first real procedure having gone so well makes me think the c - section will , too . Bimp measured at 6 pounds , 2 ounces this morning . He is looking just fine and has a little bit of short hair already . The needle draw felt just like a shot and I was aware of a little cramping , but nothing bad at all . Just a sensation of something being there . I breathed and repeated the word reeeeelaaaaax to myself a couple of times , which really helped . I think I 'll try the same technique when they prep me for surgery . I am to take it easy today . We should know by this afternoon or evening what the results are of the amnio . Dr . Eller said the fluid looked nice and cloudy - which means there was plenty of stuff in there to get a reading . A good sign . I 'll post later with results . Thanks everyone for your prayers and positive thoughts . We are excited ! ! ! ! Today was a good day . I went to group again and this time did NOT break down in front of everyone . But instead had good things to share . I told everyone about the amnio tomorrow morning and the possible delivery on Saturday . They all cheered for me ! I also told the group about the two very positive dreams I had of Bimp . The chaplin mouthed the words THANK YOU to me after sharing . It seems every little bit of happy news and hope helps on this floor . I was happy to be able to give something today . Some interesting news . I have a nurse tonight that recognized me from a month ago . " Ahhh , yes . You were the one who we couldn 't discharge because your heart rate was up so high - like you were really anxious and upset about something . " I told her that was the night I had Nurse Marva . And she said , " Ah yes . Marva can do that to people . " So I 'm not crazy . Did I tell you that Doug 's seen her twice and nodded a polite hello - she refuses to make eye contact with him . We 're not sure if she 's been instructed to do so , or if she 's nervous or mad or what . Anyway . I think she knows we 've got a nerf dart with her name on it in our room . He he . I finished another hat for the Bimpster . This one reminds me of the little looney tunes martian guy who pointed his little lazer gun at Buggs Bunny . " You have made me verrry angry . " I love the little helmet flaps . I also got a pedicure today and actually managed not to squirm . I 'm super ticklish , so it 's a treat when I can relax enough and let someone massage my feet to the point of comfort . I think your prayers are working people . Oh - and just so you guys know and don 't worry about me : Yes , I 've had a bowel movement today . ~ : A L M O S T • T H E R E : ~ I drew these little pictures of Bimp this morning from a couple of ultrasounds we had done of him when we first arrived here at Northside . It has officially been a month since arriving . And since then , I 've had two things wear out : 1 ) My ID arm band ( the adhesive actually wore OFF ) 2 ) My signature . Seems the papers they had me sign upon being admitted expire after a month . So I spent a little time this morning adding my initials to all my signatures and re - dating everything . Kinda depressing . Remember nurse Shawna who was obsessed with my turds ? Well , we finally got to her . She was my night nurse THREE times in a row . The second night and after your stellar suggestion , Sarah , of describing my turds in detail , I think Doug and I won . Er , at least I stopped being embarrassed by the question . Probably a little of both . Sure enough , Shawna walks in to say hi and asks the all the same questions in the exact same order , then pauses after a deep breath and asks if I 've had a bowel movement today . This time I smiled instead of frowned . " Actually , Shawna . I 'm kind of a rock star in that department . I 've been taking extra fiber since becoming pregnant for every good reason you can think of . " Then Doug chimes in , " Yeah , she 's shitting book ends these days , let me TELL you ! " And he went on to explain what a good pooper I 've been . " Up to two pound turds , even ! ! " And I just smiled at him and she smiled at us and it was actually quite funny . I have learned an important lesson here . When in doubt , TALK IN GREAT DETAIL ABOUT YOUR POOP . That always eases any tension in the room and the nurses seem to LOVE it . They even seem to stop asking personal questions . Shawna turned away then , from our discussion of poop to pictures of Bjorn on the wall . We ended up talking about her puppy , BjornMouse , the picture of me baking the cake , the little hat and sweater I was knitting Bimp , how much she liked the way I dressed and all things not related to my poop . So it was actually a nice evening . And then I took my AmbiPosted by ~ : G E T T I N G • T H E R E : ~ Last night 's dream . . . Doug and I were traveling in the city and we had to swim through floods and roadblocks to get where we wanted . We stopped and hung out at an antique shop that was temporarily closed because of heavy rains and flooding . I was looking around in the store as the lights were dimmed and I recognized some pots and cute containers that I had sold to the shop months ago . I had started little plants in them from cuttings and sold these immature plants in teeny tiny darling little vintage containers to the shop owner . They had remained on the shelves all this time and had grown into beautiful , mature plants . This made me happy and I planned on returning to the store as soon as the flooding was over to buy back the containers that I had sold . The shop owner had kept them all this while and let them thrive . So the idea of paying for something that I had intended to sell and make a profit for , didn 't bother me . I 'd just paid him to tend to my plants and was grateful no one else had purchased them . This is interesting because last night a little round vintage salt shaker container that a lacey plant was growing in got knocked off our windowsill by accident . It was sitting on my kitchen sink windowsill at home for a long time and Doug brought it here to stay by my bedside window at the hospital . It broke into many little pieces . We felt terrible about it . The plant is fine , though , and I 'll just transplant it into something else cute . So back to my dream . Doug and Bimp were waiting for me at a restaurant . I had to walk up the back way of the entrance , climbing rocks and big AC equipment , dodging under wires . But I could do it . I was still big around the middle because of the pregnancy , but I had the strength to climb to meet them . And no one was reaching to help because I didn 't need any . Doug was standing on top of that hill , holding Bimp in a carrier . And they just smiled and waited patiently for me to get up there . In both instances , I had to get to my destination either withPosted by Thanks to Steven Uhles , Doug and I have a new outlet for frustration . The Nerf gun . Steven came to visit me the other day , bearing gifts and a very patient ear . He was masterful . Though I am sad I don 't have a photo of his visit , I do have these . In with the videos and nerf gun , he brought markers to label each bullet appropriately . I have done so . But we are running out of bullets . Doug just stormed in with an empty , growling stomach . There 's a community fridge in the pantry for us long term patients to use . They give you these little stickers to put on the food you want to store there with your name , date and room number . The storage limit is 72 hours max . " They took my fucking pizza ! ! ! " Some asshole threw it out after only 24 hours . Probably another loopy night nurse . ARRRG . Poor DougieFresh is dinnerless . He needs a blank dart . I have a new night nurse - overzealous with rules and and doing things right . Her name is Shawna and her bedside manner is nauseating . " And have we had a bowel movement today ? " This is the second night I 've had her . You don 't know how hard it was for me NOT to respond , " Yes , have YOU ? " I almost did . It 's the last of all her questions before she puts me on the monitor or leaves the room . I think she saves it to humiliate me . I need another dart . So tell me , kind readers . Other than drawing nurse Shawna a picture of my lovely turds , how ELSE could I rub it in , um , so to speak ? Any suggestions ? ~ : 3 5 W E E K S & 4 D A Y S : ~ I 'll explain my latest post in a minute . First , let me tell you how dark it 's been here . Like you guys don 't already know that . Up and down up and down . I have never felt so unstable . So unpredictable . So wretched and unlovable . I wept so hard at group yesterday , that I was afraid of going into labor . Everyone was so sweet . No one pitied me or tried to change what was happening . They just encouraged me to cry more . I feel as if the ugliest side of myself has surfaced and I am amazed that people still want to be with me . I have never been here before . My one hope , other than of going home with my baby as a prize , is that I know that there will be some grand kind of growth in store for me . A person can 't go through something as intense as this without growth . It just isn 't logical to think that I won 't be a better person for having endured this . Ya know ? Every time I 've hung in there and done something hard , an epiphany shows up soon after . And I 'm not talking about Ambien . I 'm talking about real spiritual experiences that change your life . Guess I 'm talking about God . I have considered that maybe that epiphany will show up in the OR as they reach for Bimp and pull him out of me . Or maybe that comes with the territory of simply being a parent , and especially since I 've wanted to be one for so long . Today I am able to cry more and ask for help . Doug stayed with me longer this morning for another ultrasound ( see picture above ) and then took me outside next to the fountain out front . It is a beautiful day . Cooler in the shade as the sun shines brightly . I missed the sun . I missed just plain wanting to go outside . That is how ridiculous bed rest and depression is . It robs you of yourself . Your life . Your natural desire for improvement , for peace and the energy needed to just to REACH for sunlight . Is that not INSANE ? It sounds insane to me as I type it . It sounds like someone else . Someone else 's life . Someone I do not wish to be . I 've interviewed 2 doctors here so far about the " passion " thPosted by Might we fantasize about some things to do with Bimp when he comes ? I 'd like to bring him to the school and set him up on Hanks desk . Have Bimp dance to something wild . I want to play all kinds of music GOOD music to him and help him move to the beat - make little videos ofhim dancing . I want to make a PC vest for him so he and Bjorn match . I want to make him a new costume every month . Outrageous ones tha are one of a kind and that no other kid has . I want to do murals with him . Make candy with him . Teach me how to throw the ball . I 'd like to start focusing on the near future of sharing him with the world very soon - cause that makes this waiting a little more bearble . It ; s not so bad once you plan events and parties and stuff . OK YES , I just took an Ambien but STILL , I can fantazise can 't I ? ? ? Hospitals are places devoid of joy . There is no hysterical laughter , no abundance of any kind of emotion - no effort to evoke any kind of feeling . At least on this high risk pregnancy floor - things are kept as quiet as possible . Mothers and their unborn babies are at risk . So be careful when you walk our halls , or all of hell might break loose . And if you 're a Dr . making rounds , you especially don 't want to become entangled in any one person 's pregnancy hormones , so make your visits as brief as possible . Make sure you never fully enter a room . That you stand with one foot near the patient and the other as close to the exit as possible , as to make it known through your body language that you are not here to really listen , but to just make sure nothing 's wrong . I am not Anne here . I am Ms . Elser . And that 's not the name I was born with . Why don 't they put first names on the doors ? What 's with that crap ? I mean , NO one calls me Ms . Elser . Or Ms . anything , for that matter . I am being absorbed by this place . I am patient # 1714790 on a four sided mattress in a four walled room down a skinny hallway that I haven 't seen since last Friday . Not that I 'd want to see it anyway . It 's just so fucking dreary . There is not logic here . Especially in my own head . You can 't reason depression away . It just IS . And it stems from being told to wait . WAIT . Dante 's first level of hell , called Limbo , is the best description of what 's going on in my head I could find : Sorrow without torment . Peaceful , yet sad . Level 1 - LimboCharon ushers you across the river Acheron , and you find yourself upon the brink of grief 's abysmal valley . You are in Limbo , a place of sorrow without torment . You encounter a seven - walled castle , and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason , whereabout many shades dwell . These are the virtuous pagans , the great philosophers and authors , unbaptised children , and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven . You share company with Caesar , Homer , Virgil , Socrates , and AristotPosted by Last night Doug came over with a card table , table cloth and 4 folding chairs . I thought it was a crazy idea , but once he set it up , it made sense . We were able to sit eye to eye at a table and eat dinner together . Rather than me in a bed and him in a chair on the other side of the room . He put a vase of flowers at the center and we spent a good half hour sitting there and chatting like we used to at the dinner table . It was delightful . One of the techs named Chystal came in and saw us and just about fainted . She brought in another tech named Corliss just to see our set up . They 're very impressed with Doug . Makes me so proud of him . I wish I had a picture of it . I 'll try again tomorrow night . He 's bringing a puzzle tomorrow so I should be set for the week . One bad thing about the past few days has been that each time I get into this bed , I 've gotten joint pain that keeps getting worse . It started with one knee and is now in both . Today I discovered that if I spend part of my day OUT of bed and in a chair , it 's more doable - the pain comes and goes . It 's the lack of movement that 's hurting my knees . The mere thought of a foot rub is excruciating . Dr . Diamond will send me a physical therapist and has given me some safe pain meds to help in the mean time . They have done wonders so far . I actually feel like my real self again . Which serves to remind me that I really am depressed . The psychological effects of this lack of movement makes you feel more self destructive , loathing and volitle . I really hope once Bimp comes , these feelings ofworthlessness will go away and the only soothing I 'll need will be from myself , which I miss . I miss myself . Because I have a history of depression in my family , I am a high risk for postpartum depression , too . I hope it will all disappear once I am mobile again and can establish a new routine once again for Bimp and his Daddy . I hope the moving around , although at a much slower pace , will do me good - give me more energy , enable me to build my life around me again . I hope to pick up whPosted by About my last post : Good GOD was I HIGH . Am I entertaining the masses with these drug influenced posts ? It 's ridiculous . Sangria ? Where 'd THAT come from ? Some of the comments I write and then read later , I have no recollection of . Seriously . I read this shit and think to myself , " whose figured out my password and signed on as me ? " Whose trying to make me look bad ? These days , it 's easy to look bad . I have been stiflingly bored the past few days . Really depressed . Every question depresses me . Every comment , anyone who walks in my room , anything on TV . Everything hurts . I 've never been so angry before . Never been so tired . Never felt such a lack of joy . Every nurse , every patient , every morsel of food . It 's all bad . I 'm all bad . I 'm not a fun person to visit . I don 't make a very good patient . Being told to lay still and do nothing is . . . well , I can 't describe it . I can 't be cheered up . I 've used up all the little distractions I have available to me . Nothing 's appealing any more . And if it is , the duration of its usefulness gets shorter and shorter . I 'm just running out of gas ? What does a person DO with that ? Where do I go from here ? What can I do to survive this pregnancy ? Lay still , be quiet . Do nothing . What can I do to improve Bimp 's health ? Lay still , be quiet . Do nothing . What choices do I have ? None . Whose in charge here ? Certainly not me . Here 's the really freaky thing : I am so bored , I actually find some small amount of pleasure at the thought of an amnio . Where they put a needle in your belly and draw out some fluid to assess the baby 's lung maturity . This is one of the procedures they 're planning on that 's put me in panic mode . The mere thought of it makes me nauseous . And now I 'm so incredibly bored and ANGRY that I find the thought of looking at the needle and watching the ultrasound mildly entertaining . Is this part of what 's supposed to happen ? Last night when they gave me a shot of " no contracto " after contracting all day , I was able to focus on something . An event . Though it was unpleasant , I tolerated it . Posted by ~ ) THIS WEEK ITS ANGER : ~ Great thing about Bimp is that he 's SUCH an olympic performer , his movements can cause my uterus to contract . He did this ALL day today and gave me enough contractions to send me to group on a bed with wheels , ( what do you call those things ? ) and with the Bimp induced contractions , came spotting , which was managed by the most lovely mesh underpants ( one size fits all ) sporting a glorified incontinence pad which is always fun to wear when you 're pregnant . I was one of three on a bed - two had walking privileges and the rest were in wheel chairs . Last week at our meeting , the most common emotion expressed was fear and anxiety . This week was ANGER . Surprised ? I sure wasn / t , 0 ( I think the Ambien they just gavem me to send me to bed esrlier i is kicking in cause I asked for an earlier bedtime from such an eventful day . We were monitored for over an hour and after giving me a shot of of " no contracto " - I think they call it breathine or something , and while it settles tihhings dwn in your uterous , it makes the rest of you shake 0 your arms and legs ad they make your amrs a legs tremble . This nurse said iit isn 't every day tha she sees a baby who moves arunf as muv a bimp does . She ewas cracking up trying to keep up with him and hs shify movements . This baby is a movemt rockstar . He crcks all the nrses up ! An amnio would be difficult though whit him moving around so much . I want iit to go fast and I am NOT looking at the needle or he monitir - i will only hold doug 's hand . Nad sing soemthing from the sound of music . we moved my bed around in the room today and its looking more better . little moe human . I can see trees and buildings , not just condtruction . I do not wnat to be afraid . I hpe during all of it , people talk to me cofmroting with smiling eyes so i can relax enough to trust them and let them take over . I want a peacful expereicne without pain . please pray for me . I am so afraid . i would like to not be afraid but more curious about thie c ool new exocerience , i want more curious sense of wPosted by ~ : 3 4 • W E E K S & 2 D A Y S : ~ Tuesday was a milestone folks ! Making it to 34 weeks with a previa is huge . SO I 'll take a bow . ( ( bowing ) ) The psychologist reminded me how important 34 weeks was , and how hard it 's been to make it here . Though it feels like I am doing absolutely nothing but wait , I 'm actually keeping things stable for Bimp . She told me to pat myself on the back . I have to admit , it feels a little better than complaining . And a little more constructive . I have group today at 2 - ish . Should be interesting as I might get to meet some new women today . Below is the latest Ambien - influenced observation as Doug was tucking me in for the night : your face looks like a plate of spaghetti with moustacheit 's like a really nice diner in here . a really nice dining room . with a big chandelieri like this place . this is a much nicer place than it was just a minute ago . it was like , poof , and it changed . what 's with all the crystal ? ~ : M I S S I N G • B J O R N : ~ So as many of you know , Doug brought Bjorn by the hospital the other day after fully recovering from his bladder surgery to say goodbye to me . Yes , I cried and yes , it was SO good to see him and YES , now that he 's not in any pain , he 's a different dog . He had gotten snappy and whiney and bossy and I thought it was just an attitude thing . He had even lost weight , which was another sign of the stress he was under . No wonder why he didn 't want to be picked up anymore or cuddled . He was in pain ! I 'm very relieved to have this chapter in his little life over . The way they do introductions at Camp Tallis ( where he was Bjorn and raised , ( har har ) is by scent . They brought the little monkey in the play room and kept him in his crate for all to sniff and meet him - each dog at his own pace . This little video shows part of that event - lots of little doggies and puppies . They 're too cute for words . A bit more good news today : they 're putting in an order for an air mattress for me to make my stay here more comfortable . I have developed knee pain since being here and they say this new mattress will help with that - mold to my body more . This makes me feel special . We had a bit of a scare last night , but it turned out to be nuthin . I had this fabulous new charge nurse with a low and comforting voice . She was so calm and non - patronizing and low key . I hope I have her again tonight . And although I had nurse Kim again today , we got a long much better . I did not feel like crawling out of my skin , which I cannot explain . Maybe someone out there was praying for me or I ate the right thing for lunch . I dunno . But overall , today was better . I hope for a repeat performance tomorrow . ~ : N O • S M O K I N G : ~ Doug has brought many trinkets , etc . from home to my hospital room in an effort to make my imprisonment feel less restrictive and cozier . Things like plants from my kitchen windowsill , pictures of my family , my favorite Aveda hand creme , etc . One of the objects I get the most use out of is a vintage red tin ashtray that was Mom 's for years , then mine . I keep it by the sink with a pretty bar of soap nestled inside and I 'd rather use it than the liquid stuff mounted on the wall . So I do . I am told by the nurses that my room is ever so distinctive and cozy compared to other patient 's rooms . This does not surprise me . I am a genius , ya know . Eh hem . So ! This morning I get a new sonographer to take those fun snapshots of Bimp you 've seen me post . She comes in and sees the ashtray . " What 's that ashtray doing in here ? " " Excuse me ? " " The ashtray . Do I need to yell at you for smoking in here ? " " Um . There 's a bar of SOAP in it . " " So I don 't need to yell at you for smoking . " " No . I quit years ago . " " Oh . OK . " " Riiiiight . " OK people . How stupid does one have to be to : 1 . Smoke while pregnant . 2 . Try to light on up in a hospital . 3 . Smoke as a PATIENT in a hospital . 4 . Smoke in open view of the millions of nurses and techs who come to my room every day to asses me on a fucking HIGH RISK PREGNANCY floor . and my favorite . . . 5 . Be so dense as to ignore all of the above and the fact that the ashtray is being used as a container for soap . ON top of this , I have a new highly annoying nurse names Kim who is one of those " talkers " you can 't seem to get rid of . Honestly , I spend more of my energy placating these nervous chatters than I do growing this baby . Kim comes in after the smoking police to assess how my sonogram went . They always check for the same stuff like movement , heart rate , how much amniotic fluid is there , and cord blood flow . It 's pretty standard for me and non - threatening . Plus , for holding still , you get more pictures of your baby , which is more than fun ! So Kim comes in and says , " So you had the sonogram . " " Posted by Dear Placenta , I am sorry for cursing you out the other day . I know you 're still able to do your job , transferring food and oxygen to Bimp , even though you 're in the WRONG place . Was that a left - handed compliment ? Sorry . Dear Cervix , Thank you for doing your job perfectly . For staying firm and tightly closed , like any good girl should . I hope I have not shamed you into performing well . Dear Visitors , I hope my temper tantrum did not hurt your feelings . I am very grateful for your visits . Just be aware that I am new at this whole helpless patient thing and am not used to being in bed 24 hours a day . Dear Bimp , Thank you for performing PERFECTLY during your test strips . You 're a trooper . Thanks for not caring what 's going on with my body . For moving around as much as you do , putting on a lively show for the docs and nurses . For making ME look good . Dear loopy high - strung night nurses , Fuck you . And fuck your power trips . Fuck your own sick need to " serve ( control ) " your patients , and your own neediness , which you just end up transferring to your patients via horror stories and and detailed descriptions of how needles work . Dear Ovaries , I am putting you two on the pill RIGHT after Bimpie is out . THANK you for giving me Bimp but oh my god , I don 't think I can do all this again . Dear nurses who are calm and easy - going and emotionally independent / mature , God bless you . Have you been watching the Dog Whisperer ? Cause I swear you and Ceasar have the same philosophy . Thank you for listening and really keying in on what I need to hear and what I do NOT need to hear . Dear Blog readers , Thank YOU for not freaking out on my freaking my shit way out about my freaking out about all this freaking my shit so far out there . Dear Students , Thank you for being OK with my not answering all your e - mails . I just don 't have the energy to think about work / design / art or anyone BUT myself . I 'm as selfish now as I 've ever been - I am just too scared to look beyond my own navel right now . Dear Eggshells , Can you just move out of the way already ? I 'm siPosted by ~ : W H A T ' S • F O R • D I N N E R : ~ Dear placenta . Fuck you . Thanks a whole lot for ruining this pregnancy . And whoever it was who took my first baby , fuck you , too . Fuck you , Nurse Ratchett . Fuck you , nightmares . Fuck you to cavalier doctors who do nothing but smile . Fuck you to my nerves . Fuck you , me . You 're pathetic to think that you 'll be the only previa patient who won 't ever bleed again . I 've just talked to a nurse , who I like , who answered more of my questions about bleeding , the c - section , etc . Fuck being brave . I am sick of being brave . I am sick of being polite . Of making the best of this , of being cheery and cracking jokes with the nurses . I am sick of writing funny posts . I am tired of anticipatory dread . I am tired , tired , tired . But I can 't sleep . I 'm too anxious . I don 't ever want to be pregnant again . This is crazy . Hospitals are crazy . Every time I close my eyes , I expect to wake up bleeding again . What do you do with that fear ? Hi ! My name is Anne and any second now , I 'm going to bleed on you . Hey sport ! Mind if I bleed for a while ? Oops ! I 'm bleeding ! Did you see that ! ? ? She 's bleeding ! Gross ! I have no choice . I am sick of not having choices . I am sick of being asked what color my pee is . " And how are we this morning ? " Fuck you . That 's how I am this morning . I am a 38 year old mother - stop patronizing me . I am not fucking five years old . And if I cry , just leave me the fuck alone . I am sick of trying to be clever . The techs push these little carts down the hallway ALL DAY LONG that make this maddening squeeky noise . They come around to take your pulse and temp - part of their undying customer service , I guess . Something I 'm paying for , I guess . Honestly , I just want to go home now . I am sick of people who pray BADLY . You know , there 's a right way to do it . And most people really suck at it . " Dear God , we know we 're all sinners and that we deserve to be punished . Thank you so much for giving Anne ( the bleeder ) these challenges . You are just so big an awesome and cool , God . You 're just swelPosted by ~ : B R O U G H T • T O • Y O U • B Y • T H E • M A K E R S • O F • A M B I E N : ~ A : Your hands look like a bunch of castles . D : Really . A : Yes . It 's like a puppett show . One man Is grey and the other is pink . D : ( chuckles ) A : Listen here , Mr . Six Mouths . ( pause ) Mr . , Mr . Twelve Eyes . Check out the latest of our Northside Hospital HRP stay photos and what Bimp sounds like when riding a horse ! ~ : I • B L A M E • H I M : ~ January , 2006 . A new year . After a two years of trying to create , let alone maintain a pregnancy , we are successful on a cold January morning . Doug 's on his way out da doh for his day , having just ran and showered . I 've just come upstairs from a peaceful morning of knitting with Bjorn and the cats . I 'm due to meet Marlis and Molly for our weekly coffee gig at Java Monkey . The sun is out and pouring into the bedroom . It 's a little chilly . It 's Friday and am relishing in the joy of working for myself , rather than the big man . Life is good . So you wanna try real quick ? I had been charting my temps for a while and thought this moment was perfect . Sure . I gotta be at work soon though . Yeah , and I 'm meeting the girls for brunch . OK . Hold on a sec . And poof , we laugh , get dressed and go on about our day . My advice to infertile couples ? Do it on a sunny Friday morning before you go to work . Don 't even think about it . And make sure you do a lot of laughing . Next thing I know , I 'm peeing on a stick on a mid - morning Saturday thinking , " This is stupid that I 'm even looking at this thing . " Yeah right . Like I could actually BE pregnant . I see 2 faint lines . Two this time . And I know . And I put my hand over my open mouth . And I am happy . And petrified . I stand up and walk over to the window where I will find Doug in his work clothes setting up a ladder in the driveway right below our bedroom window . I crack open the window wide open and shout out to him , " Catch ! " And throw him the stick . He catches it , looks down , covers his mouth , looks up at me again and falls to the ground , clutching his heart . Within 10 seconds he 's back in the house we are crying in each other 's arms . And the saga of a second pregnancy begins . It 's a miracle . Bimp is here . We hang on this time and decide to wait until after the 1st trimester to share our news . Nausea has the best of me for 2 . 5 months . But I am beaming inside . I even have a couple of students ask what 's up with me ? How come you 're glowing ? And friends who could jPosted by ~ : 33 • W E E K S : ~ Latest update : Bimp scored 8 out of 8 again on his ultrasound this morning . He 's doing very well . I took a shower and am wearing a new pink bathrobe and nightgown Mom bought for me . Bonnie is coming for a visit today . Sharon is coming tonight . I fixed my hair today . Doug bought me some fancy Aveda bar soap for my shower . The ultra wax Minus Five bought me is kicking major ass here in room 220 . That shit don 't play . I love it ! I have my fave nurse today named Kristin . Bimp has turned once again . I still have contractions now and again - they stop them if they get too much . I pooped twice this morning . Peed a million times since then , too . You should all be proud of me . : - ) Posted by ~ A L L • A B O U T • A M B I E N : ~ Conversations with Doug under the influence of Ambien . A : Can I give you a kiss ? { Doug bends to kiss me } A : Now you 're pink and red and close . D : Whose the President of the United States ? A : G . W . BushD : Whose the Vice President ? A : Dick CheneyD : Good . Very good . A : Now you 're an " eye face " , you have one nose , four eyes and two mouths . { Pressing this control panel of buttons on my bed that adjust angles , call nurses , control lighting and sound in the room - all at the end of my fingertips . } I wonder if I 'm hurting anyone when I press these buttons ? This looks like an alien abduction mothership control panel . This button above the figure like beams him up . This one below him is like the one for the anal probes . { Doug smiles as he records my observations . } A : Your hair looks like a heavy duty stapler - the top part . You should be punishing me like a principal . With a switch or a birch or a paddle . { Doug raises an eyebrow . } A : Now you 're black and pale peach , Doug : Now whose the prez ? A : George Wuuuu . . . George BushD : You 're spacey . A : I 'm not spacey . You 're LOOKING very spacey . A : You know , my uterus is pretty mad . { By the time I begin to express anger and sarcasm , Doug keeps an eye on the monitor they 're using to measure Bimp 's heartbeat any my contractions - which are effected by the intensity of whatever emotions I 'm feeling . A nurse the other day told me that the uterus is the most finicky and sensitive muscle in a woman 's body . It reacted instantly to whatever I said . Amazing . Now we know why relaxation is so important - why patient care really makes a difference . } Uterus : What 's so bad about contractions ? All you fuckers are taking my job away from me ! I 'm supposed to have 9 months to practice and build muscle strength . A : Wull , yeah . It 'd be nice , huh ? You 're not the only one whose natural born job and bodily functions have been monitored and then taken away . Talk to the placenta . Talking to the placenta : You , my friend , have fucked up . Thanks for ruining this whole experience for me . UtePosted by ~ : H E R E • T O • S T A Y : ~ Well . I 'll be here for a while . I actually ( can 't believe I 'm saying this ) am a little relieved . After having been an unwilling participant in recreating the set of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in our bedroom Monday night ( I shit you not ) , I am a bit relieved to be in an environment of trained professionals poised for such an emergency . In short , I am in good hands here at the Hospital . So no more classes until well after Bimp is born and I am back at school . I 'll be taking the rest of this quarter off ( but please continue to e - mail me work if you need a second opinion on your pieces or um , if you just miss me ) . I already miss you guys . Hmmmph . We had a ladies brunch shower for Bimp planned later in September that will have to be postponed until after Sir Bimp 's arrived . But Bimp is fine . He 's REALLY fine in fact . Scores very well on all his tests . I 'm fine , too . Just kind of walking on eggshells . This dern placenta is such a pain in the ass . I " m not in any pain , I 'm just nervous . The thing about previas is that they 're so unpredictable . The best we can do is be prepared for another bleed . Which is why I 'm here . They are not necessarily linked to bleeding because of a direct response to my movement . But in general , the less I move , the better . Walking and stair stepping irritate the cervix , which is this thing that thins out and stretches in preparation for birth . Normally , the placenta is well behaved . It implants up high in the wall of your uterus and provides food and oxygen from your body to the baby . When it decides to implant lower , it can be completely covering the cervix or even if it 's next to it , it can cause problems . The very edge of mine is covering the cervix . So it 's a problem . It bleeds unpredictably , which can cause contractions that lead to premature delivery or I could bleed to death . Not pretty . So I am here on this bed . The doc told me this morning he 'd feel safer if I were here . I should be supervised 24 hours a day . He said we could schedule a c - section deliveryPosted by
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This is a close up picture of our Christmas tree in the living room with Gareths cell phone . He pulled the mattress out under the tree last night and we spent the evening under there . The cats , apparently aware Santa was coming to bring them treats last night , slept near their stockings . It took me three attempts to sneak a gift into their stockings without waking them . Gareth and I didn 't get much sleep last night , so we exchanged gifts around sunrise . I gave him a new MP3 player because he lost his in Africa , a remote control airplane he can fly when the weather gets better , and some new luggage for when he travels , plus some new clothes and pants , and I bought four new tires for his car . He got me some African handmade bowls and a mini set of a Zulu shield and spear and a ticket to come to South Africa with him in January . We went to see his nieces and nephews this morning and watch them open their gifts . I 'm cooking a ham right now and we 're about to have a small dinner with friends . I 'm really tired right now and ready for this holiday season to slow down , but as tiring as its been , the memories we 're making will last us a lifetime . Reactions : 10 comments : This holiday season has been a very busy time for me . With Gareth in South Africa and due to arrive Christmas Eve , I had to do all the Christmas shopping for his family and friends , plus my family and friends . I had to get the food for Christmas dinner since we 're having a gathering at our house and had to make the pies and cookies and egg nogg . Not to mention cleaning the place , wrapping the presents , and whatever else I 've had to do that I can 't think of right now , it 's been a busy time . Which brings us to Christmas Eve and me entertaining our guests and Gareth still not arrived . With a house full of people , all I could think of was Gareth and would he make it . He told me he may miss one of his connecting flights and be stuck in an airport for Christmas . He said he 'd call me if he got stuck someplace and couldn 't make it home . So my heart sank when I got a call from him and the room went silent . I heard his voice say , " How much do you love me ? " to which I replied , " Depends on what you 're next sentence is . " His reply , very seriously was , " Remember when I told you there 's a chance I may miss a connecting flight and not make it home for Christmas ? " I took a deep breath , fought back a tear , the whole room looking at me now and said , " Yes , where are you stuck ? " Everyone in the room groaned . He replied , " You never did tell me how much you love me ? " Irritated now , I answered a bit rough , " You know how much I love you . " At this point he said , " Then give us a kiss . " and the front door opened and in walked Gareth , to everyone 's surprise , with a huge grin on his face . I turned to Hamish and said " I hate him . " " Pure evil " Hamish replied . I watched as he said his greetings to family and friends . He looked so good , very tan and looks like he lost some weight . As he made his way across the room to me , my heart was racing and all I could think of was how much I loved him . When we kissed , everyone cheered and clapped and we both turned beat red . I said lets take your bags to the bedroom which was just an excuse to get him aloneLinks to this post My friend Ing has been asking me to fix her up with an Irish man that 's looking for love . She wants one that owns a castle and would sweep her off her feet and carry her up the stairs to a princess bedroom where they would act out her favorite fantasies from the romance novels she reads . After much searching , I finally found one . Ok , he doesn 't own a castle , but he lives near one . He 's not strong enough to carry you up the stairs , but he is light enough for you to carry him . As for the bedroom romance , well look at ' em . You 're kind of on your own in that area . lol Love ya , Ing . Merry Christmas . Please no re - gifting . Written in the trenches of the Great War , France , Christmas Eve 1914 . Private Frederick W . HeathThe night closed in early - the ghostly shadows that haunt the trenches came to keep us company as we stood to arms . Under a pale moon , one could just see the grave - like rise of ground which marked the German trenches two hundred yards away . Fires in the English lines had died down , and only the squelch of the sodden boots in the slushy mud , the whispered orders of the officers and the NCOs , and the moan of the wind broke the silence of the night . The soldiers ' Christmas Eve had come at last , and it was hardly the time or place to feel grateful for it . Memory in her shrine kept us in a trance of saddened silence . Back somewhere in England , the fires were burning in cosy rooms ; in fancy I heard laughter and the thousand melodies of reunion on Christmas Eve . With overcoat thick with wet mud , hands cracked and sore with the frost , I leaned against the side of the trench , and , looking through my loophole , fixed weary eyes on the German trenches . Thoughts surged madly in my mind ; but they had no sequence , no cohesion . Mostly they were of home as I had known it through the years that had brought me to this . I asked myself why I was in the trenches in misery at all , when I might have been in England warm and prosperous . That involuntary question was quickly answered . For is there not a multitude of houses in England , and has not someone to keep them intact ? I thought of a shattered cottage in - - , and felt glad that I was in the trenches . That cottage was once somebody 's home . Still looking and dreaming , my eyes caught a flare in the darkness . A light in the enemy 's trenches was so rare at that hour that I passed a message down the line . I had hardly spoken when light after light sprang up along the German front . Then quite near our dug - outs , so near as to make me start and clutch my rifle , I heard a voice . there was no mistaking that voice with its guttural ring . With ears strained , I listened , and then , all down our line of tLinks to this post Alone At Last Someone told me about this storyline on OLTL back in early November and I checked it out online and I 've been hooked every since . As The World Turns has a gay storyline , but I never got into that one . Those characters hardly ever kiss and act like a real couple , so I lost interest fast . So when I checked out OLTL I wasn 't expecting much , but have been really surprised by the chances this show is taking with these characters on American daytime television . They hold hands , kiss and what kisses , very sexy ! They often tell each other they love each other and are very playful with each other . They get to do everything the straight couples do on the show . I also like the fact that both characters are masculine and not the typical stereotype . The scene above where they are finally alone is very real feeling and acting . The fact that I think they are both handsome men is a nice plus . If you haven 't checked them out , I recommend doing so . Here are a couple videos to get you started in discovering them . Their Love StoryI need you nowKisses Reactions : 7 comments : Gareth is due to come home this week from South Africa for Christmas and I really can 't wait to see him . When we video chat he likes to print out a picture of some guy I posted on my blog and pretend to grill me about who he is and what I 'm doing with him . lol Recently Gareth told me a story of how they were out in the bush and about the things they had to deal with . One of them was how they had to wash themselves out of a pot . I found these pictures of Dave Salmoni , who is involved with African Lions preserves in South Africa . Last night when we were video chatting I pulled out these pictures and gave Gareth a taste of his own medicine which made him laugh so hard he fell out of his chair . He always ends the video chat with " I love ya boy . " and I can 't wait to hear him say it in my arms . Just a few more days to go . Reactions : 8 comments : For awhile now I 've fallen into the habit of taking everyday for granted . Getting up and going to work had become routine . Days we 're filled with having fun with friends , planning for Gareth 's return from South Africa and Christmas shopping . But early last week I was reminded of how precious each day that we have should be treated . It started out as an ordinary day , me and three other members of the crew arriving to the ship in the harbour to tear down old equipment and wrap up projects and print out papers . I was busy sitting at a co - workers station going over a graph when I heard someone yelling to call an ambulance . It took my mind a moment to register this call of distress , but then it grew louder and we bolted to see one of our crew lying on his side . Myself and another bent down to him while the other called an ambulance . He was conscious for a moment and talking but not making any sense . We tried to keep him awake , to keep listening to our voices until help arrived , but with one last look at us his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he drifted away . He was still breathing and had a weak pulse and at this point we just kept silently praying for help to get there fast as I held his head in my lap talking to him hoping he could still hear my voice . It took about twenty minutes for help to arrive and get him to hospital . We got the news later that evening that he passed away from bleeding of the brain . Just moments before he collapsed he was telling a dirty joke in the hallway as we passed and we had a good laugh . He had complained of a headache earlier in the day , but showed no other signs of any health issues . I 've had to deal with death many times in my life , but it never prepares you for the next time . Each time its new and raw and hurts . Its been very hard to come to terms that your life could just end as fast as this . I keep thinking of all the things he wanted to do , all the things on his " to - do " list that he 'll never complete . Did he get to hear the goodbyes of his family telling him how much they Reactions : 6 comments : Went out today to do some Christmas shopping . Grafton Street is all lit up with decorative lights . I 'm getting excited , Gareth will soon be back for the holidays , can 't wait . He called me Friday night around three in the morning and told me he was missing me and just wanted to talk for a bit and we talked for three hours . My cat is bugging for his dinner and has taken to sitting in front of the computer screen to get my attention . So looks like I have to go take care of his belly issues . Reactions : 9 comments : Going with a group of friends to the horse races today . Have a few drinks , enjoy a nice meal , and make a few bets and hopefully come home with a bit of winnings . Wishing everyone a good weekend . Reactions : 7 comments : The River Liffey burst its banks and several areas around Ireland have had to be evacuated . A few people I work with have had family that was evacuated come stay with them in their homes . Reactions : No comments : We 're back to sea for a for days . I 'm using one of my crew mates phones to make these posts . Not sure if they 'll go through or not . It 's very foggy out tonight , like pea soup they say . Stood outside on one of the side decks , stuck my hand out in front of me and it disappeared in the fog . All I need now is to turn on the radio and hear Adrienne Barbeau 's voice on the radio ! Reactions : 4 comments : Ireland beat the Springboks of South Africa , the reigning World Champions on Saturday at Croke Park , Dublin to finish the year undefeated . They beat South Africa at their own game by playing rough and making punishing tackles . The Irish coach , Declan Kidney was named coach of the year . Jamie Heaslip said : " It 's a great way ( to end 2009 ) , the whole year undefeated . . . it 's brilliant . We 've learnt a lot , learnt a lot from our mistakes and did a lot of good things and hopefully we 'll be in good shape come the Six Nations . " Rob Kearney , above , was named man of the match . Gordon D ' Arcy , saw plenty of ball during the second half of Saturday 's 15 - 10 victory over South Africa at Croke Park . " That goes down to the forwards knowing their job . Gert ( Smal ) really had our boys fired up for that . The gain - line , that battle , was won by our guys so we did manage to get a good bit of ball on the front foot . " Gary O ' Neill headed an injury - time winner to give Sporting Fingal a 2 - 1 victory over Sligo Rovers in the FAI Ford Cup Final at Tallaght Stadium on Sunday night . Sporting , in only their second season , will be representing the League of Ireland in the Europa League next season . Reactions : 1 comment : The rains have come and won 't go away causing the worst flooding in the last twenty years in the Southern and Western counties of Ireland . The army has been dispatched to several counties to help with flood control , evacuations , and rescues . Buses , trains , and driving roads between Dublin and other parts of the country have been closed at times , some reopening slowly . We had a temporary break from the rain , but its back again along with strong winds . It 's a mess of a day outside and I 've decided to stay indoors . I am actually babysitting two of my friends children today . One is four , one is six . One boy , one girl . They 've been good fun , we 've had lots of laughs playing and I got to be a kid again being silly with them . My cats are not used to children and their high pitched squeals and shrieks . They 've taken to hiding behind the different bits of furniture watching with wide - eyes , what to them are little aliens , running around their house . Since I 'm going to spend the day at home , I 've decided to dig out the Christmas decorations and put up the Christmas tree . I talked to Gareth last night and he said he 's going to try to come home for Christmas . Well , I better go , the children we 're quietly watching a cartoon together , but now they are hitting each other . Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend . More than half of the population of Ireland tuned into the game to watch Ireland try to come back from 1 goal down to beat world power France and make it to the World Cup in South Africa . The Irish came to play and took a 1 - 0 lead on a goal by Robbie Keane , the famed Ireland captain . Ireland held this lead until the end of regulation winning the game 1 - 0 . The playoff series was even . With each side now having won a game by a 1 - 0 score , they went to extra time , sudden death , to determine who would win the spot in the World Cup . But sudden death it was for the Irish in the 120th minute , Frances Thiery Henry , guides the ball with his hand into the Irish net . With Ireland frantically calling for a handball or offside penalty to be called , the referees instead signal game over . No offsides is called , no handball is called , and no replay is allowed to determine the correct call . The French start the celebration as the Irish leave the field in tears and shock . Henry of France even tells the referee the ball hit his hand and should not be allowed , but the referee tells him , " You are not the ref ! " The Irish went through the preliminary rounds undefeated , but they were still huge underdogs to the powerful French team . But against all odds and apparently some tainted referees , the Irish lads showed their spirit and if not for an own goal in Dublin and a handball score in Paris , they would have pulled off one of the greatest upsets in Irish sporting history . " It 's cost a lot of us our dreams - as a boy I used to dream of playing in the World Cup , and now I 'm not . " said Shawn St . Ledger of Ireland . " I don 't understand why we haven 't got replays in this day and age . You can get replays within 10 , 30 seconds and it would have helped today . " The Swedish referees were vilified in their home country . Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet laid the blame squarely at the official 's door . " There are approximately 80 million Irishmen around the world . We guarantee they all feel pretty bad today . But I sincerely hope there are three Swedes that Reactions : 14 comments :
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Last year we threw a party for her , but not really . We threw it for us . We wanted to celebrate her before she really had the capacity to celebrate herself . It was great - our friends came , we ate cake , E loved playing with her gifts , and I 've almost blocked out the sugar - induced tantrum at bedtime . This year I can honestly say that this one 's for her . Last year I was obsessed with what food to serve and if there would be enough chairs and getting all of the decorations in place . But all I could think about last night was her face when she woke up this morning . Would she know already ? Would I have to remind her ? Would she ask to open presents or eat cupcakes first ? I haven 't really spent much time on putting together a fancy do , because I know that she could care less about that . She wants cupcakes and balloons . She wants to share her cupcakes with her friends . She wants to open the presents that she 's been moving around the apartment all week . And she 's going to get all of that . I did some cleaning , I did quite a bit of cupcake - making , and a little wrapping . But mostly I spent my time working myself into a birthday tizzy alongside my little monkeypants . And today I 'm just enjoying . It 's a full day , with Anabelle to look after , a playdate to take up our morning , yoga in the afternoon and a party tonight , but I 'm going to go about it with one agenda : fun . Because that , my friends , is what it 's all about . We found out a few days ago that Gramma Leslie was coming into town for work . Just in time for E 's birthday ! When the buzzer rang , she stood patiently in the living room , waiting for Gramma to get upstairs . She was very quiet , but I could see the anticipation bursting from the ends of her newly - coiffed hair . When she made it upstairs , E yelled " Welcome to E 's house , Gramma ! " and gave her one of her trademark running hugs . We had a delicious dinner from a new place we 've been meaning to try , some really great wine that we got for a steal , and when it was time for bed , Elle had only one request . Gramma , don 't go ! Today I caught her staring out the window saying " 100 blocks away ! It 's 100 blocks away ! " When I asked her what was 100 blocks away , she responded " E 's birthday ! " We wanted it to be special . Partly because we 're sentimental people and we like to make a big deal out of things when we can . And partly because we 're cheap and this kind of thing isn 't going to happen on a regular basis . We managed to go 1 year and 363 days without taking our daughter to a hair salon , and what better time to do it than for her birthday ? Every girl wants to be pampered and look smashing on her birthday , right ? The last time mom went to get her hair cut , we made a big deal about how much fun it was , hinting to E that she might get to do it too someday . She remembered . Weeks later she was still saying " Nice hair , mama ! " She 's very thoughtful that way . And what do you do with your new and improved adorable toddler to celebrate a successful first salon visit ? Why , you go to lunch ! In our case , we went to our usual spot for family breakfast , and soaked up loads of attention from anyone who happened to look in our direction . This is , without question , the best bread that J or I have ever tasted . Ever . Sorry mom - I do love your homemade bread . Sorry Paris - your baguettes are mouth watering . But this little plastic wrapped miracle out of New Jersey just takes things to a whole new level . It 's impossibly moist , wonderfully nutty , and just a little bit sweet . Why , it 's the best thing since . . . oh , forget it . It 's too easy . She totally gets it this year . Last year she appreciated it , she enjoyed it , but she didn 't really get it . This year she has been asking about her birthday for weeks , since I first brought it up . She keeps asking where her birthday cake is , and if she would settle on a flavour it would really make my life a lot easier . We 've gone from strawberry to chocolate to vanilla , and tonight it was back to chocolate , with the stipulation that Dada ( whose birthday is later in the month ) has a strawberry cake . How 's that for covering your bases ? She knows that it 's different from Christmas in that she will be the only one to get presents . She knows that right now she is 1 , but in 5 days ( or 5 minutes , when she 's feeling impatient ) she will be 2 . Sometimes she 'll try to trick you by claiming she will be 4 , or even 5 , but upon further questioning she will issue a loud guffaw and say Noooooooo ! in that tone of voice that says " Geez , and you guys are supposed to be the smart ones . " It 's a gift from Gramma Barby and Papa Ger , and for some reason when it arrived I decided to plunk it on the living room floor instead of hiding it in the darkest recesses of the closet . I 'll be honest . I did it purely to torture her . I wanted to see what her reaction would be knowing that there was a gift for her that she couldn 't open until her birthday . Cruel ? Maybe . But isn 't that one of the perks of parenthood ? Or did I read the wrong manual again ? At any rate , she has been surprisingly mature about the whole thing , unlike her mother . She wants it , but she hasn 't once gotten even mildly upset about having to wait . Although my heart skipped a beat when I turned around this morning and saw this : My absolute favourite part about snow days in Brooklyn is the neighbourliness . First of all , it is shocking to me how quickly everyone gets out and shovels their patch of sidewalk . Sure , it may be purely done out of fear of being fined , but still , it gets done and it sure is nice . The other thing I notice is that our entire street turns into one big water cooler . People stop to chat as they take breaks from shovelling , or as they trudge , lackadaisically and without much purpose , to the subway to make an appearance at work . No one is in a hurry , very few are in a bad mood , and people stand in the middle of what was just yesterday a busy intersection to discuss anything that comes to mind . After the world 's most surreal , and ultimately successful , experience at the blood lab today , I feel compelled to share my newly minted expertise with all of you . Anyone have a toddler ? Need to stick them with a needle any time soon ? Read on . . . 6 . Run laps around the waiting room and play a few rousing games of ring around the rosy while you wait . 7 . Have onlookers encourage your toddler 's cheerful mood by commenting repeatedly on her cuteness . 9 . Mention , just before sticking , that it will hurt going in , but not a lot , and it will only hurt for a second . At this point , remind him or her that there is ice cream in his or her immediate future . 11 . Watch in utter amazement as your toddler observes the proceedings with inexplicable calm and attentiveness . 12 . Leave sleeve rolled up following bandage application to allow your toddler to run rampant through the hospital , showing you and strangers alike how lucky she is to have just received this amazing accessory from a very nice doctor . 13 . Eat ice cream . You 're welcome . Now , you can learn from my mistakes and take the experience one step further by documenting the whole thing with a camera . You will just have to take my word for it , but believe me , you 'll have a much easier time convincing people that it happened if you have the pictures to prove it . E and I went over to Clare 's house yesterday for a playdate . Madeleine came too . Three little toddler girls running rampant while three attentive caregivers looked on left me wondering why I haven 't tried to do this more often . Apart from her tight little circle consisting of AB and GG , E doesn 't really hang with many other kids . She has her regular buddies in each of her classes that she enjoys every week , but until yesterday we hadn 't made the leap to playdate - land with any of them . To be honest , it 's all my fault . I have an inferiority complex . It makes me shy away from reaching out and making friends on account of the fact that I 'm pretty sure I 'm not cool enough to be friends with any of the people we meet . It 's lame , I know . But there it is . Anyhoo , fortunately for me , not everyone is quite as lame as I am , and Clare 's dad went ahead and got the ball rolling . And it was super . Lots of fun . We 're going to do it again next week . I mean , tell me this isn 't something you would want to be looking at on a regular basis : Posted by It 's all about rules these days . Sure , we 've got lots of them that we 're trying to get E to follow , like no whining , saying please and thank you , staying in bed until 7 : 00am . . . you get the idea . But far more important , at least in the eyes of one toddler and two parents trying desperately to keep her happy , are the rules that E is establishing for our household . She is forging swiftly and bravely into that stage of toddlerhood where things must happen in very specific and reliable ways , and if they don 't , well , there are as yet no limits to the depths of her - shall we politely say - discontent ? Case in point : Breakfast . 9 mornings out of 10 it consists of blueberries and yogurt . Somtimes we substitute with strawberries , occasionally we break out of the routine with cereal or pancakes , and as of late she has , unsuccessfully , been trying to bend the rules to include snacks like raisins and granola bars . It 's not so much the regularity of the menu that matters , but how that menu is served . This is what I hear every , every morning as I 'm preparing her breakfast : If I screw up the order and try to give her yogurt first or - gasp - mix the blueberries into the yogurt before she gets that first bite of pure , unadulterated blueberry . . . you can 't imagine . And people , sometimes I 'm doing this before my first cup of coffee . I 'm not at my best . She 's got me on eggshells , this one . Also , we must both be touching the spoon for that first bite . After that , she can feed herself or I can feed her , no big deal , but that first bite is key . JUST blueberries , mama AND E holding the spoon . Now . . . who wants to babysit ? ? ? Every time we go to the doctor for a check - up , the doctor asks how many words she 's saying and asks for examples . Every time I give an estimate of how many words I think she says , he looks at me sideways , makes a comment along the lines of " Well , if that were true she would be Einstein " and smirks that little smirk of doctors who listen to mothers who think their babies are geniuses all day . What he fails to understand , of course , is that my daughter is a genius . Now the whole thing would be much easier if she would play along and deliver an episode of The E Show for the skeptics in the audience . But she never does . She just sits there , doe - eyed , making all kinds of inward observations that she 'll no doubt share with me once we are three steps out of the office . And for some reason , I can never come up with good examples of her conversational abilities outside of the generic " I love you " and " Milk please , mama " . I go blank . I crumble under his critical glare . Not this time . I have a feeling that she is at the stage now where she 's going to chat her way through the appointment . But just in case she clams up , I 'm compiling a list of several of her recent witticisms , for your reading pleasure , for my memory keeping , and for my Doubting Thomas of a doctor who had better get that pen poised and ready . This stuff is pure gold . " I wear stethoscope like dada ! See you later mama ! I go be doctor like dada . I go to work . Actually , I go to interview . " " Ralph ! Ralph ! What doin ' Ralph ? You eating dinner , Ralph ? You want wet food too ? You need wet food Ralph ? Oh , buddy . Good boy , buddy . " Dada came home last night from yet another multi - day excursion across the country . He crept in just after midnight and snuck a quick hug and kiss from his sleepy wife before diving into bed himself . When E woke up this morning , I expected the same look of surprise and glee that she usually gets when she sees Dada sleeping in the spot that 's been empty for the past couple of days . But , alas , I think she 's getting used to this arrangement . In fact , this morning when I brought her into bed and plunked her between us , the only evidence I had that she noticed him as she crawled over him to get to the floor was when she said " In my way , Dada . " Ah , to be taken for granted . These days that doesn 't sound so bad . I 'll gladly take some taken for granted over the emotional abuse I 've suffered at the hands of this fiery little toddler this week . It has been a banner week , but not in a good way . There have been so many tears that I have to put cream on her dry cheeks at night . No joke . Okay , it might also have to do with the fact that it 's very cold outside , but I 'm sure the tears are the main culprit . If only there was a cream for my nerves for they , my friends , are frayed . But I digress . We were talking about Dada . He 's home , and we 're in the midst of a lovely weekend . E had two items on her To Do list today : 1 . Make a snowman . 2 . Go swimming . Done and done . I had one item : 1 . Mom time . Done . I didn 't bother to ask J about his To Do list ( that would just be another item on my list ) , but he seems to be doing something productive right now as we sit on the couch together , tapping our respective keyboards . We had family breakfast , we played in the park , Dada and E swam while Mama worked out , we went to Trader Joe 's and ate free dip , and we 're about to crawl into bed with a movie . Tomorrow we will go into Manhattan and frolic in a giant playspace , followed by an afternoon football / playdate with E 's best friend and her parents . Then , early Monday morning , my husband will get back on a plane and so will begin another episode of the single mom show . I shouldn 't say that , as there are lots of single moms out there who don 't get relieved , ever , but it sure makes me appreciate my husband when he comes home . Posted by I had no idea as a kid that my life would be like this . I have a very clear memory of an assigment we were given in Grade 6 by Mrs . Goulagh . We had to write about where we planned to be in 1 year , 5 years , 10 years and 20 years . She was a brilliant woman , and just about the best teacher there ever has been . I remember that I took the assignment very seriously and spent quite some time planning out my life . Here 's what it looked like : Get married to Kirk Cameron at the age of 19 ( hey , stop laughing . . . it 's important to have goals ) . Have 5 - 6 kids , first baby ( boy ) at age 20 followed by twin girls at 22 . I figured I 'd play it by ear with the rest . I was going to be a cashier , then a teacher . We were going to live in an old stone house on a hill on Bath Road in the town where I grew up , right across the road from the lake . There would be a tree house and a swing . I believe several pets were involved . It was pretty detailed . Of course it changed over the years , first Kirk and I grew apart and I went through a serious of musician husbands , most notably Rick Savage and Jordan Knight . Then I decided that six kids was really just ludicrous and so the number gradually dwindled , although I hung on to the idea of twins with an older brother until . . . my daughter was born . I went from being a school teacher to a dance teacher to a wildlife conservationist . And I batted around the idea of living in various other cities , including Sheffield , England and Boston , Mass ( see husbands ) . The bottom line is that I pictured a very cookie cutter life . One husband ( hopefully I 'm still on track with that one ) , some kids ( just one doesn 't seem so bad most days ) , a job ( I 'm sure I had one around here somewhere ) and a house ( a whole house , not an apartment , and just ONE ) . I guess that 's no surprise , because that 's what a whole lot of people have , and I figured I 'd be just like a whole lot of people . But if there 's one thing I 've learned in the last few years , it 's that you really never know where life is going to take you . And there really isn 't any point where you can say that you 're " there " - grown up , settled , done . Life is just a whole bunch of days where anything can happen . And there 's no guarantee that life today will be anything like life tomorrow . People that count on that are going to be disappointed , and I know a lot of people who count on that for their very happiness . The idea of moving or changing jobs or having another baby is devastating to them . Sometimes I feel that way too , but more and more I 'm learning that I really am on an adventure , and it really is best just to embrace it . Where will we live next year ? In a big city with lots of excitement ? A small town where we 'll go on day hikes in the mountains ? Will we live in tropical heat or biting mid - western cold ? Will we be going back to everything that is familiar or discovering brand new territory ? It won 't be too long now before we know , but I 'm starting to put less and less stock in the answer . No matter where we live next year and the year after that , it will most likely not be where we live forever , and I 'm willing to bet that it won 't be anything like I expect it to be either . We 'll be starting on another adventure , and in the 34 years I 've been adventuring I have yet to take a wrong turn . Oooh , that girl . She really knows how to grind my gears . Especially when it 's freezing rain / snow / sleeting outside and there is no escape from the apartment . And have I mentioned that it 's day two of this god - forsaken cleanse ? I need some cleansing breaths , I tell you what . She 's going through a really charming phase right now where she flatly refuses to do what I ask . . . please come over here so I can change your diaper / put on your coat / take off your boots , please stop kicking me / hitting me / rolling over and crawling around while I change your diaper , please stop grabbing Ralph 's tail / paws / food . . . you get the idea . And following her staunch refusal , she proceeds to sound the screeching alarm as soon as there are any consequences to her actions . " I will take it away . " I think that 's pretty clear . " You will get a time out . " I 'm not asking her to read my mind here . But as soon as I follow through you would think that I snuck up behind her in a dark alley and took away her favourite blanket while crashing cymbals in her ears . I 'm not up for a fight today . I 'm weak , I 'm hungry , I 'm tired . Grumble , grumble . At one point this morning I called her Miss E , which she took an immediate liking to . She kept pointing to herself and saying " That 's Miss E ! Miss E reading a book ! Miss E playing with eggs ! " It was when she said " Miss E pooped ! " about two minutes after I tried to get her to sit on the toilet ( to no avail ) that I had an idea . What if Miss E is the one who does good stuff , and she only gets to be Miss E when she behaves well ? I 'm going to try it . I 'll let you know how it goes . Now I 'm going to go lie down and enjoy a little peace and quiet before Miss E wakes up from her nap . At least I hope that 's who I 'll find . . . I 'm doing a cleanse . Ugh . Why , you ask ? Well , isn 't the notion of purging your body of the crap you routinely hurl into it an attractive one ? Doesn 't everyone wish they could have a clean slate now and then , whether at your job , in your relationship , or heck , in your colon ? I know I wish I could take back that bottle and a half of wine I drank on Friday night , and the Big Mac I needed to soak up the hangover . I might keep the short rib hash I had for brunch yesterday morning , and that last piece of lemon cream pie I stealthily demolished before my husband got home from the gym . But really , there is just so much abuse you can put your intestines through before you just have to feel a little guilty . I feel a lot guilty . Plus , I 've gained five pounds . So I 'm taking my eating habits by the horns . Four days of " detox " - okay , it may be a crock but I sure ate a whackload of greens today , and that can 't be bad , can it ? - followed by a series of four day " modules " to make me lean and mean and my colon clean . I just made that up . And I 'm serious . I just drank a tablespoon of psyllium powder in watered - down milk . I dare you , in a blind taste test to differentiate it from wet sand . My goal is primarily to get myself thinking about what I 'm putting into my body again . I 've been gradually sliding down that slippery slope of motherhood for some time now , forgoing " real " meals for the dregs on my daughter 's plate , supplemented with generous portions of chocolate and coffee . It 's not pretty . And it 's starting to show . I intend to follow this 4 - Day Diet for the full 28 days ( isn 't that how long you assume a 4 - day diet is supposed to last ? ? ? ) , at which point I hope to carry on consuming ludicrous amounts of vegetables while finding the balance that will allow my daily doses of chocolate without hitching up the saddlebags . In case you find this all very inspiring and want to do it too , here are a couple of words of advice before you get started : 1 . Don 't get all excited and start before you actually have any of the food you can eat in your house . It will be a long day . 2 . Make sure your loved one who is smarter than you and is therefore not following you down the path to a clean colon has his or her own , normal , food to eat . It 's also helpful if he has not thrown his back out , forcing you to prepare his meals and bring his salty , chocolaty snacks to his bedside . 3 . Please , for the love of everything intestinally - related , do NOT start off with a whole tablespoon of psyllium powder . That is the maximum recommended daily dosage and , for a digestive system not well schooled in the effects of this uber - laxative , it 's not wise . I 've been pretty quiet , but life around here has not . Once again this family has found themselves in the midst of a flurry of activity , with all sorts of things that could be worth a post or two . The most noteworthy , though , is . . . drumroll please . . . I have somehow , mysteriously , ended up with a subscription to Real Simple magazine , which would be just delightful if it didn 't come with an invoice . Sure , it 's only $ 23 for a one - year subscription , and I quite enjoy the magazine , but I have a moral objection to being forced to pay for something I didn 't order . Sadly , I don 't have an accompanying lack of moral objection to keeping something without paying for it . So I 'll probably write a check and grumble for a few minutes until the next glossy issue arrives in my mailbox and I am wooed into complacency once more . And may I say , they sure know how to put together a New Year 's issue . I guess if you know you 're popping these magazines by the hundreds ? thousands ? into the hands of people who did not request them along with a cheeky little invoice , it had better be good . This issue has hit on two of my favourite topics : food and de - cluttering . Sold . There 's a great article about the 30 healthiest foods , compiled by all sorts of * experts * , and I always enjoy scanning these kinds of lists to see where I stand . What 's better is a set of recipes at the end of the article that manages to use almost all of them . And they all sound delicious . Well , that 's pretty good , I think . There 's room for improvement , which shouldn 't be too difficult considering that there wasn 't a single item on the list that I could claim to dislike . And , being the list - maker that I am , I love the idea of popping the ready - made list of 30 foods in my bag and heading to the grocery store to explore new territory . I 'm pretty sure I 've never before purchased a sardine . And I wonder how easy it will be to find bulgur . I recommend checking out the article at www . realsimple . com or even picking up a copy of the magazine . Environmentalists be damned , sometimes I just like to flip through the old fashioned way . Now , if they put out an article about the 30 unhealthiest foods , well , I 'm willing to guess that the numbers would be about the same . But hey , at least we 're well rounded , right ? I wonder if I should make it a two - year subscription . . . T minus 3 hours or so before the show starts . After the storm a couple of weeks ago , everyone here is bracing for this one like it 's Armageddon . I had no less than four people tell me today that I had better get everything I needed for the week today while I 'm out . Come on , kids . Yes , it 's a storm . But it seems like the general population has failed to remember a few key points : 3 . Shovels and snowplows are readily available . 4 . Some people live even farther north * gasp * and manage to subsist for entire seasons with snow on the ground . Alright , alright . Maybe some of you have jobs and places to be . It 's not my fault you didn 't have the foresight to quit your job and have a baby . Here 's to another snow day ! There is very little in this world that is quite as satisfying as watching your toddler eat her vegetables . At least for me . And when it happens without any coercion or sleight of hand , without any effort at all , well , that my friends is what it feels like to win the jackpot . Tonight we had lime ginger salmon with steamed wontons and green beans . It 's a regular - ish meal for us , and generally E has one or two bites of salmon and devours the wontons while I try to sneak a chunk of bean in with each bite . It 's not that she doesn 't like the green beans , but what would you choose if they were both sitting there on the plate ? Tonight was a completely different story . She has recently expanded her palate to enjoy salmon more ( or , as she calls it , hamon ) , so that was a hit . And just when I was about as happy as I could be that she was taking two bites of green beans between wontons , dada got in on the action . Her plate was clean , and she claimed to be all done . So J grabbed some green beans and showed her how to make a fish face and suck the green beans in like a vacuum . That was good for at least a dozen beans . And when that didn 't do the trick , she just grabbed a handful of them and crammed them in . One or two fell out , but a whole lot more went down . At this point , they were eating with their fingers out of the tupperware container I had put the leftovers in , and then E decided to eschew propriety altogether by grabbing the big slab of salmon and eating it like a sandwich . I don 't think I 've ever been so proud . I feel like I 've gotten away with shoplifting . Like at any minute I 'll hear a voice from the crib : " Wait a second ! MAMA ! ! ! ! What did you do ? ? ! ! ! " But it 's too late now . Weeeeee ! My daughter has met her weekly quota for greens and it 's only Monday . Supermom and Superdad , at your service . I love a New Year . Just like I love a new school year , or a new week , or a new organizer . I 'm a planner . And when you 're a planner , a fresh start is the holy grail . Real or symbolic , a new year just has so much potential . Do I always make the most of this potential ? Of course not . I 'm human , and no amount of planning can take the lazy out of me . Does all of this build - up lead to an inevitable crash of disappointment and self - flagellation ? Generally , yes . But who 's to say I wouldn 't end up there anyway ? And I sure do enjoy the build - up . It 's just nice to take stock once in a while , to look at the way you 're living your life and compare it to your version of the ideal life , in an effort to get you that much closer to where you want to be . I enjoy thinking about what I want to do differently , about new things I want to try and about goals I want to set . Some people don 't , and by all means , I don 't think everyone should make New Year 's Resolutions or party like it 's 1999 if they don 't feel that way inclined . But I do . I have resolutions , I 've made a list of things I want to do this year . . . in fact I 'm still working on it because I just love doing it so darn much . But that 's me . My husband doesn 't make New Year 's resolutions . He rejects the whole idea as a waste of time and energy . That 's cool . He pretty much does what he wants to do and doesn 't do what he doesn 't want to do anyway . He 's uncomplicated that way , and I like that about him . Sometimes I wish he were a little more willing of a partner to get all giddy at the prospect of a clean slate with all sorts of possibilities to add to it , but then we would probably just whip each other into a frenzy of anticipation and burn out by January 2nd . One thing we both agree on is celebrating things whenever possible . He may not have any resolutions , and I may have a whole whack that I won 't keep , but we both wanted to do something special with our daughter today . So we went into the city to an arts and crafts cafe ( they have everything in New York ) called Moomah Cafe and got all artsy and craftsy . They have a bunch of DIT ( Do - It - Together ) art projects that you can pick from , and after almost no deliberation E chose the paint - your - own - doghouse . We smocked her up , I picked out the most stellar paint combination , and she spent all of five minutes painting before making the transition to foreman , and ordering us around while she ate a pizza bagel . J and I happily worked away at painting the perfect doghouse until she had had her fill of bagel , and then we explored the " funky forest " in the back where light projections of bats flew on the wall and rivers danced across the floor . Pretty cool . As is becoming the habit these days , we opted out of a big to - do for New Year 's Eve and decided to spend it coccooned in our apartment with our little family unit . I had gotten it into my head that I wanted to make cassoulet - a French meat and bean stew that has been bouncing around in my head for a few years now - and in a grand romantic gesture my husband suggested that we celebrate the end of 2010 by cooking together . Sigh . I love that guy . Cassoulet is no 30 - minute meal . In fact , I went for the " Easy Cassoulet " recipe in my Gourmet cookbook instead of the two - day standard ordeal , and " Easy " in this case pared the active time down to a mere four hours . E 's new affinity for independent play sure came in handy , as there aren 't a lot of tasks in cassoulet - making that are toddler friendly , apart from tying together a bouqet garni . No , there 's far too much slicing of meats and spattering of duck fat for little bodies . . . or for anyone tending towards the vegetarian lifestyle for that matter . The whole affair went off without a hitch , with more than a few kisses , some energy - building chocolate , quite a bit of sweating and no trace of blood or tears . It was an absolutely exquisite way to spend New Year 's Eve , if you ask me , and J even suggested that we make cooking together on NYE an annual tradition . Double sigh . Hands off , ladies .
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Shopping Luver I 'm a shopping addict . I keep you up to date about what 's hot and what 's not . Rely on me for your fav shopping picks Pages I moved into my first place a week ago , and after putting everything away and setting up everything I have , I must say the one thing that makes my house feel most homey is definitely my McCalls Candles . They fill my house with the most amazing , warming scents . I love that they offer more than the usual candle scents and have some unique combinations of scents . My favorite so far is the cinnamon and cranberries candle . One , it matches the color scheme in my living room right now , and two , it smells so amazing and just gives me such a comforting feeling . After I bought my first one , I had to get at least one for every room of my new place . A lot of people have stopped over to see the new place , and the first thing they mention is how amazing it smells . I cannot wait to have my house warming party , and everyone will be able to smell it ! The best part about these candles is that they are such a great price . Candles like these , that actually fill the room with an amazing scent are usually way too expensive . These definitely fit into my budget . Posted by Cooking Disasters I have been trying really hard lately to become a domestic diva . I love to cook and bake but lately , I 'm going through cooking disasters . Last Thursday ( wow a week ago already ) my Pyrex pan , that I just bought , shattered in pieces ! I know , how scary ! Here is how it went . . . After a long day I decided I would make myself lasagna , it is one of my favorites , ( however , it should be noted that I don 't usually ever make lasagna so this was a treat . . . that soon turned into a disaster . After preparing everything and popping the dish into the oven , I let it cook for the appropriate time , I took out the oven and set it on top of the stove to cool . I went back to the couch and a few minutes later heard a huge POW , and there it was , shattered glass everywhere , and I mean everywhere ! The hard work I put into the lasagna laid on top of my stove with shards of glass in it , while my kitchen , stove , and oven were all plastered in glass . I was so emotional that day I just started bawling . I cried cleaning up glass for a whole hour and then felt bad for myself and ordered a cheeseburger : ) 2 days later I got the courage to bake sugar Christmas cookies from scratch , which also turned into a cooking disaster . Little did I know that cookies taste terrible when using whole wheat flour . After lots of time and work I threw a whole batch of cookies away ! I was so angry , but honestly the cookies tasted like dog treats mixed with cardboard . The next day I got the courage to re - bake them and when using the right flour they actually turned out ! YAY ! 2 days after that I decided to whip up a chicken dish . I really don 't like handling raw chicken because I feel like it just spreads germs everywhere . I read a recipe online for the ' juiciest chicken breasts ' , and thought how easy ! Well , after a few minutes of doing as the recipe said smoke wouldn 't stop rushing out from beneath the pan . I thought I was going to start a fire , or at least set off the fire alarms , thankfully neither happened . But I did smoke out my whole apartment and threw away the pan I burnt the chicken in . I tell you I 'm giving up on cooking ! UGH ! I 'll be ordering take out tonight . Bowing Down to Michael Kors Okay , it has to be said . Michael Kors is a fashion God . Yes , this may be materialistic of me but don 't you agree ? I 'm an accessory junkie ( if you can 't already tell by my blog ) I love handbags , jewelry ( especially chunky necklaces and rings ) , scarves , wallets , you name it . I especially love huge , organic looking bags or totes like this one . I 'm also big into detailing such as buckles , buttons or intricate embroidery . I appreciate a good design and notice quality , that is why I love designer handbags . Growing up my Mom always said they weren 't worth it , boy was she wrong ! I 'm completely opposite of her in that regard because I go ga ga for a nice handbag . I 'm hoping this one will be underneath my Christmas tree . champagne , custom wedding ring , girls night Last night my boyfriend and I went out with another couple for a couple beers . Well , a couple beers turned into staying out till bar close . Lets just say I 'm still not feeling the greatest . I am not able to go out like I used to , that I know . Drinking till late night never used to keep me out of service the whole next day . * ugh * now I know why I have become a home body . Don 't get me wrong I may feel under the weather today but I had a blast last night . Even though I spend to much money , danced to hard and drank lots of calories I am glad I did it . I a fun crew of girls a few years older than me ( you know how that goes ) . I had no idea who the girls were prior to last night but what attracted me to them was a diamond ring . I noticed a big sparkly diamond on the girl the moment I saw her . Being the girl I am and having the alcoholic courage I decided to tell her just how much I loved her ring ( you know how that goes ) . To my surprise she was flattered and not creeped out ( girls understand each other especially when it comes to diamond talk ) . We got to chatting and she told me her and her husband had created the custom wedding ring together ! I have heard of such rings but never have seen one in person . Literally amazing ! I wish I would have taken a picture but it looked something similar to this . Posted by DIY for the gardener Have you crossed everyone off your Christmas list ? Me either . It seems every year I wait later and later . I wish I could be those people that have all their Christmas shopping done before December 1 , but who am I kidding that probably won 't ever happen . What I am doing differently this year is making some of my own Christmas gifts . Unlike years prior where I just buy all of my gifts I have decided to try something new . With the weather being mild I figured I should take advantage and get some projects done outside . My Mom is a big gardener and nature walker . She isn 't into material items so she wouldn 't necessarily appreciate a store bought gift vs . a hand made gift . I have these really cute teacups and saw ideas on Pinterest how to make this cute teacup bird feeder . It seems easy enough and it 's so cute ! I love that there are minimal supplies and not much handy work . Will you be making any of your Christmas gifts this year ? Blake Lively aka Best Hairstyles ! No matter the day it seems Blake Lively has the perfect hair . So not fair . She can pull of the just - rolled - out - if - bed look like nobody 's business . I would kill to have her hair styles ! Seriously . Not to mention her fashion sense , which is also to die for . Loving this side part with a chunky braid ! Add a little accessory to add a punch of feminine Even a simple pulled back style suits Blake A sleek bun pulled back is the perfect way to show off those beautiful facial features ! Simple straight strands never go out of style . Posted by What Do Girls and Romantic Products Have in Common ? The other night one of my girlfriends had a sex toy party . Being a college student and having a sex toy party means getting the girls together , drinking wine , and passing around dildos all while trying out romantic products such as lubes , oils , and potions . This may not sound like the most ideal night for some but for my group of girls it means getting away from everyday rigors to hang loose . I have never been to one of these parties without alcohol and lots of giggly girls . If you haven 't ever been to a party you are missing out ! No , seriously . There is nothing more fun than getting silly with your girlfriends and enjoying a night out on the town . Finding a wedding band for my husband was probably the easiest part of planning the whole wedding . . surprisingly . We probably only looked at three rings before we found the perfect ring . We love the way it 's cut . It is so different than any other wedding band I have seen even though it isn 't really a crazy design or anything . The best part was that it was a mens cobalt wedding band . We looked at many different kinds and we liked the cobalt the best , so when we realized this one was cobalt we were so excited . Cobalt wedding bands are really a great choice . They are so durable and last for so long . How could you not trust something with a lifetime warranty on it ? There are not enough words to describe how I felt putting that ring on his finger on our wedding day . Posted by Will you DIY or Buy ? With the ever popular Pinterest at our fingertips it seems DIY projects , crafts , beauty regimen and even Christmas gifts are an endless supply . I don 't know about you but most of the gifts I 'm giving this year will be homemade Is that necessarily a bad thing ? I don 't think so . In fact , I think it means more to give / receive homemade gifts . I even make my own wrapping paper ! ( Or at least I 'm going to try but that is a whole other story ) So I gave my nephew a homemade gift for his birthday , which was about a month ago . Well turns out he didn 't like it ! I almost cried ! I was actually super embarrassed So , when it comes to him I will buy . I 'm already planning on getting him a baseball card pack , a really cool one so I he thinks I 'm cool again . I don 't want to be known as the aunt that sends a bunny costume ( name that movie ) . I know the holidays , and birthdays for that matter , aren 't all about the gifts . But being an aunt , you will totally understand if you are one , you want to impress and make your little nieces and nephews happy ( plus you want to spoil them a little ) ! And the moral of the story is , know to DIY and who to buy for . bit ridiculous , but I am still proud . I have got to say though , engagement rings from Orange County are by far my favorite . They are so elegant and unique and so different than any other place . I find if you are looking for something that is more than just a band and a diamond , you should go here . Something I really like about this place is that you can create your own engagement ring . I absolutely love the idea of a man helping design something completely new and different that no one else has . I have a pretty unique style , so it may be hard for someone to look for a wedding ring for me , and creating his own style would be so perfect ! Posted by Holiday party + Plus size cocktail dress = Best Holiday Mix ! One thing that I absolutely LOVE about the holidays is the excuse to dress up . What girl doesn 't love to get fancy and sip on champagne ? The holidays are the perfect excuse to buy yourself a fancy cocktail dress . One of my really good friends invited me to her work Christmas party . She just graduated college and is working as a nurse for a hospital . Now that she has a " big girl job " she has the opportunity to dress up for formal Holiday parties ! Yay ! She felt a little weird going to the party herself so she thought it would be a great idea to bring me ( her " filler " bf ) ; ) The party is in about two weeks which means I need to get shopping ! I 'm thinking about this cute plus size cocktail dress . What do you think ? I don 't want to spend a ton of money and I want something I can wear again . I think this is a classy dress that can be worn again with either boots and tights , a cropped jacket , or with a casual sweater . This dress is a good investment and a great excuse to shop online : ) My fiance knows me too well . I am really into old fashioned things . My style is very vintage and anything but ordinary . When he opened the box I saw the most ornate engagement ring . It was absolutely beautiful , and my heart melted just thinking that he didn 't want to get me something typical and actually went above and beyond for me . The pearl is so classic and timeless . It made me feel so special and loved . I have gotten so many complements on it , and I can 't stop staring at it . I love knowing that I probably won 't see anyone else with the same ring as me . Posted by Daddy 's day is coming up Sunday June 17 . . . are you ready ? ! I know I 'm not ! I always seem to put off gift buying and it is a horrible habit I need to break . Today , I was pinning and I found a great gift for my Dad , a tungsten ring . I never thought my Dad was that guy that was into jewelry but it turns out he is ! Who would have thought . He peeked over my shoulder when I was pinning this morning and said that he would love one . It never fails my Dad always finds out what his gift is going to be . I plan on ordering my dad a fun , stylish design that he can wear for daily casual wear as a special gift of love from his favorite daughter : ) As soon as I saw these Miss Me Jeans , I just had to get them . They have the shape of Texas on the back pockets and I fell in love right when I saw them . I was freaking out and couldn 't wait to get them in the mail . I 've seen a couple of girls have the cowhide studded back pockets and I think they are really cute and eye - catching . I 'm no a big fan of the pockets that have the buttons on the pack . I like an open pocket and sometimes the buttons hurt to sit on , so I normally stay away from those . I am so excited for these jeans and my sister is going to love them too ! She is such a jean freak and has so many pairs , and I can 't believe she doesn 't have these ! I just ordered these Justin Boots online and I can not wait to get them . I have a black pair just like them , and they are so comfortable and I can wear them all day . You can never have to many pair of boots . They can work with anything you wear , jeans , dresses , or shorts . They make so many styles in boots now that you name it they got it . I like the different styles for different outfits . I have a specific boot for every occasion . It 's kind of embarrassing but it works ! I have work boots , boots for going out with the girls , and a specific boot for each dress I have . I love wearing them and they are so comfortable . I am also guaranteed not to fall down in boots as much as I do in heels ! My sister bought me this clutch for my birthday and I love it . I don 't like to carry purses that often , but when I do I like for them to look good . I use to only bring around huge purses that carried my whole life in them , now I 'm really liking the little purses that only fit so much . It makes it easier to find things , and it is also easier to clean out too ! I love this Coach purse and it is the perfect size . It also goes with anything . Sometimes I like to get crazy designs for purses , but they are hard to match with every outfit you wear . This clutch matches perfectly with almost anything ! It 's always a plus to get a neutral color and then you can wear anything . If you like crazy colors for a purse , use it as an accessory and you wear neutral colors . I have these Miss Me Jeans and I just love them . They are my favorite pair of jeans I 've had so far . They are so easy to dress up in and go out with the girls , or to just go hang out and relax . I get so many compliments on them and I am almost debating on getting another pair . I think Miss Me 's are so comfortable and so durable too . They are pretty much the only jeans I wear and they are so cute . Any pair of these jeans that you wear will always look good . They aren 't the cheapest jeans out there , but they aren 't to expensive either . In my opinion though , they are totally worth it , because of how long they last and how comfortable they are . I want this Turquoise Ring so badly . I just think it is beautiful . It 's simple but eye catching . I love Turquoise and I think it is a long lost gem . We don 't see it as often . I love wearing Turquoise and it 's pretty much all I wear . This ring is so cool and I am hoping to get it . I love the arrow and feather style band it has on it . I hope that when I get married I can incorporate some type of diamond ring with Turquoise mixed in to it . It 's just a gorgeous gem and the color is beautiful . I remember my mom wearing Turquoise all the time along with my grandma and I always thought it was so pretty . They looked beautiful with it . Maybe that 's why I like it so much is because of my mother and grandmother . This was a birthday present we gave to our daughter and she thinks it is so cool . They are seat covers for your vehicle that are camouflage with a touch of pink on them . They were perfect for her and she likes them alot . She has a new puppy and she loves to take him everywhere , and it also helps protect her seats for a wet or dirty dog too . They have anything these days to decorate your vehicle and so far she has seat covers , a steering wheel cover , and floor mats . Next she said was a seat cover for her whole back seat . Next thing I know she will be coming home with stickers or decals all over her vehicle and I won 't even be able to recognize it . One benefit it though , that it is really easy to find in a parking lot filled with cars ! What girl doesn 't love yoga pants . I was a little iffy about them when they first came out . I didn 't really like how tight they fit on girls and I didn 't think they were for me . When my roommate had them and told me to try on a pair and wear them I didn 't want to . After she convinced me to wear them , I really did like them . They are so comfortable to wear and just lounge around in . They are perfect for a lazy day , or going to class and just wanting to be comfortable for the day . Now I love to wear them and wear them for half the week . They may be kind of tight , but now that every girl wears them no one even cares anymore . They are just perfect for a morning from a long night and you can do anything in them . I love to exercise with them , because they are light and stretchy too . My dad got this browning sweatshirt from Gander Mountain the other day and it is so comfortable . I also love the fact that it is pink too ! I love the ribbed cuffs which gives it a nice and snug fit on your arms . I wear sweatshirts all of the time . They are just so comfortable and cozy . My dad knows me all to well . Of course I am a daddy 's girl and I love to do whatever he is doing . We go out hunting all the time , but most of the time it 's him shooting something , and I am just along for the experience . I do some shooting , but I just like to get in the outdoors with him and spend time with him . I love going out in the early mornings and staying out late in the night for the nights hunt . It 's always a good time with him , and of course I got to look good when I go out . You never know who you will run in to out in the woods . I just purchased this camera at Best Buy the other day and so far I really like it . I broke my other one a couple months ago and I finally decided it was time to get a new one . I 'm going on a trip so it was perfect timing . It takes such clear pictures and yet it just the perfect size for carrying around in your purse . I love Canon Cameras . They are the only cameras I really like and I love that I can rely on them . They are really good quality and they last forever . . unless your reckless sometimes like me and run the camera over . . whoops . This camera is the Canon - PowerShot ELPH 300 HS with 12 . 1 megapixel Digital Camera . I got it in red , because it stands out and unique . I 've only had it for a few days and I already love it and the quality of the pictures . It also has fun effects you can play with too . It 's a fun camera to have and the perfect size . This is such a cute swim suit from Victoria Secret . Yes , I do agree that there swimsuits are over priced , but they are just so cute . When I wear a swimsuit , I 'm not the most confident while wearing one , so when I do , I like to wear a really cute one . I do believe it is true that when you wear something you really like or think is cute , you feel more confident . I love shopping at at VS and I am thinking about getting this swimsuit . It 's cute and flattering . I love the colors and the tube top . White also makes you look more tan too ! I also love the cute bejeweled flower they put on it . This is a good lay out on the beach and relax type swimsuit . I love Old Navy 's flip flops . They last me all year long and they are at such a great price . You can choose from pretty much any color and they are pretty decent on comfort too . They are the flip flops that you can use to dress up , go out to the beach , or get dirty in . You can use these flip flops for anything . I love them and they last me a perfect year for summer or longer . They can last forever really , depending if you like your foot print in them after 2 years . I love them and they last me a while . I need to save money and you can get really cute ones , or plain ones for the same price . My husband finally found his wedding band . I don 't know how many we looked at , but he finally decided on one of the titanium wedding bands . I am so happy with his choice and that we found what he was looking for . I think this ring is gorgeous and is really his style too . We looked at so many different styles of rings for him that it was hard to choose ! I couldn 't imagine for him on how hard it was to choose my ring ! We had an amazing time shopping for rings , and I honestly think he picked the best one out there for him . It 's not to flashy , but it 's not to simple either . I think it is just right for him and he is so happy with his choice . I fell in love with this swimsuit as soon as I saw it . It is just so gorgeous and I love the sequins and the different colors . I 'm going to Florida for a vacation with friends in a few weeks and I still didn 't have a swim suit . Right when I saw this I new I had to get it . It got shipped in a few days and I just love it . I can not wait to wear it out on the beach and relax . I haven 't really seen a swimsuit like this yet and I love it . I love shopping at Victoria Secret and I can never just walk in and walk out . I always see something very cool and very sexy too . I am so excited for vacation and the best part is shopping before and during the trip too ! I got this Canon Camera for my birthday last month and so far I am loving it . I broke my old camera a few months ago and I have been lost with out it . I just really couldn 't afford a camera so I was waiting to get one . My boyfriend bought me this camera and I was so shocked . It was the exact one I wanted and I was so happy when I opened it . I love taking pictures with friends and family . We take so many trips and vacations , I like to capture it all . I thought I was going to have to go to Florida without a camera , but now I will get to capture all the fun and beauty we come across . It 's going to be such a fun time I can 't wait ! This was one of the wedding dresses my sister had it narrowed down to . This one was my favorite , because it was simple and so gorgeous . I am in love with this dress and I thought she looked stunning in it . I love the sweetheart top and the really unique straps on it . We found so many great and affordable dresses that it was hard to pick the final one . She isn 't telling the one she picked out , but she showed us the final three choices . I am so happy for her in all of the ones she picked out . She will look gorgeous no matter what . It is going to be a great wedding and her dress will be beautiful . My very smart husband to be asked me one day : " what would you wedding ring look like ? " I just figured he didn 't want to go ring shopping blind , so I kind of drew out what I wanted and he took it away . I thouhgt oh yeah he 'll get pretty close to what I want in a ring with that picture , and i 'll just be happy with whatever I got . Well when I finally saw it I saw just so shocked . It looked exactly like what I wanted and what I explained and drew out . It was absolutely stunning . I love that he went and got a custom wedding ring for me . now he doesn 't have to worry about getting the wrong ring , and I am just so happy to get a one of a kind ring ! While bargain shopping like a champ , I came arcoss these blue print holders . They are AWESOME ! They neatly hold all of my pictures that I draw . They are so convienient ! Not to mention versitile . My Wife loves to knit and these racks hold her yarn beautifully ! ! My wife also had the idea of buying one for my grandmother , she loves reading the paper and saving the things she finds interesting and funny . I thought she 'd love them too , turns out she does , She says the blue print holder holds all her papers in it and she finds sorting the papers are easier now with the holders . I 'm throwing my sister her bachelorette party and I am so excited . I found these really cute and funny bachelorette invitations that she is going to love ! She is always up for over the top parties and I have to make this the best party yet before her wedding . This is the party where it has to be over the top , never forgettable , and an all around good time . I have the whole night planned out . I rented an awesome party bus for the whole night and I have so many places to stop . We are starting out at my house for a pre - party to play a few games , and start out with a couple of drinks . I bought her a couple of funny , but maybe useful gifts and then we 're meeting up with the rest of the girls down town . From there who knows what will happen . Everything is just going to be " spur of the moment . " There is never going to be a dull time . I have had the best of times at bachelorette parties with just all of my girlfriends and it 's just one last hoorah before the married life . Posted by I am always looking for new and unique things to have in my house . I recently moved into a new home and my friends gave me some fragrance lamps for a new home gift . I love this lamp and I think it is the coolest thing . It 's so different and unique . I love it and I think it was perfect ! Even the scents they gave me to use for the lamps were great ! They know me so well . This was the formal dress my daughter picked out for they 're Sadie Hawkins Dance and I thought it was so cute ! She loves sparkles and this was a perfect match for her . The sweatheart top is so flattering on her and she looked gorgeous the night of the dance . She has some really cute heels on , which I don 't see how she walked in them , and her jewelry was really cute . Her boyfriend looked so handsome in his tux , and it was nice to see all the kids dressed up for a night . They had a great time and went the whole nine yards . They went out to eat and took a limo too . It was so cute and I was happy that they had a great time . Sparkles are the ' in ' thing for prom dresses , I guess , and there were tons of beautiful dresses I saw that night . Everyone looked great and it reminded me of the past . Of course , our dresses were nothing like they are now , but man was it a good time . I just purchased my first swim suit of 2012 . I 'm going on vacation the first weekend in March and I am so excited ! We are going to the Caribbean and I can not wait to get out of this colder weather . My boyfriend is taking me for my birthday and we are going to have a great time . I picked out this swim suit , because I thought it was really cute and a different color . I love how it has no straps , which means less tan lines , and the bottoms are so sexy and I love them . I can always count on finding something new and different at Victoria Secret . I love the store and I could spend all day in there . Another favorite about this swimsuit , is that it is a push up swim suit , but its not major or noticeable . It is just a comforting lift and for some support . I don 't like wearing MAJOR push up bras or anything , I just like a little liftage and support . If you are looking for a comfortable and stylish swim suit , I recommend this one ! A girl can never have enough bracelets . I suppose that goes that same for shoes and clothes . . . . I guess you could say a girl can never get tired of pampering herself ! ! In pampering myself I bought myself a titanium bracelet . This bracelet is so beautiful ! ! I love how simple the chain is and the heart detail is great ! ! I love the way the heart kinds dangles as the charm . It so beautiful and now my outfit must have ! ! I Recently bought this spiral curling iron and I love it ! I used it for my birthday and got so many compliments on my hair . It was easy to use and i didn 't burn myself . The metal ridges across the barrel really helpes keep my hair sections neat and tidy and helped keep them in equal spirals . This is my new hair must have !
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Published on September 21 , 2015September 22 , 2015 by ostomyoutdoors9 Comments Just one more cast , I thought , as I tossed my line in the still waters of Middle Willow Lake in the Gore Range of Colorado . It was a phrase I had been repeating to myself all morning , and by that time I had completed dozens of " final " casts - almost every one hooking a hungry brookie . I nervously looked at the blackening clouds coming over the ridge but even the threat of a downpour couldn 't stop me from flinging my line in the lake again . Sure enough - a trout grabbed the elk - hair caddis fly . I reeled the fish in , released the hook from its mouth and watched it swim away . Doug motioned to me from down the lake shore that he too was ready to call it quits . Hail let loose from the sky and pelted my forehead as I hefted my pack onto my back and fastened the hip belt . That is when I noticed the bulging ostomy pouch on my belly and remembered that I had not emptied it since before breakfast ; it was now late afternoon . Oh well . It would have to wait . Doug and I threw on our raincoats and made our way through the forest and back to camp . When the rain didn 't let up for hours , I cursed not emptying my pouch earlier when the weather was fair . I could have taken my sweet time digging a perfect hole in the perfect location while blanketed in warm sunlight . Instead , I was cold , damp and stuck under our cooking tarp watching the torrential rain form small lakes around our backcounty site . Teeth already chattering from the damp chill , there was no way I was going to take a ten - minute hike into the forest surrounding camp to empty my pouch . Fortunately there was another option : in the tent I had a supply of closed - end pouches on hand . Within a few minutes I had a fresh one popped on and the used one bagged up . Our backpack in the Gore Range has been just one of many outdoor adventures we have embarked on this summer ( which is one of the reasons I have been so absent on this blog ! ) We also went on two more backpacking trips , including a short trip in the Mt . Massive Wilderness and a rugged nine - day adventure in the Sangre de Cristo Wilderness - all in our home state of Colorado . Early June also included a climb of the First Flatiron in Boulder , CO . Each trip was unique , and I loved having a variety of waste management techniques to pull from . In this post I will highlight my favorite products and techniques for dealing with output during those situations when emptying would be inconvenient or impossible . Some of these methods I have written about before and are tried and true for me . Others are new things I have just recently discovered . Let 's go that way ! The summer of 2015 was filled with three amazing backpacking / fly fishing trips in our home state of Colorado . Our first one was a was a three - day adventure in the Mt . Massive Wilderness . So often , closed - end pouches are labeled as being designed for colostomies . True , ileostomates tend to have more profuse output which makes swapping out multiple pouches everyday an expensive endeavor . However , for certain short - term situations , closed - end pouches can be an incredibly useful tool for all people with ostomies . I use them on rock climbs , trips near water , snow adventures and any other times when the environment does not allow for digging holes to bury wast . They are easy and mess - free to swap and pack out . Moreover , lately I have discovered their handiness for nighttime use on backpacking trips . In order to minimize my impact on future backpackers , I like to walk a fairly long distance from camp to empty , and I only dig holes in areas where no one would likely set up a campsite in the future . The problem is , places like that are hard to find in pitch blackness . I used to pre - dig a few holes during the day and then make mental notes to find them in the dark , but it was still a challenge to hike to these locations in the middle of the night when I was sleepy . If it was raining , it was even worse . I soon discovered it was a lot safer to stay close to camp and swap out closed - end pouches in the middle of the night . During the day , I would go back to using a drainable pouch . Managing an ostomy in the wilderness requires packing out used supplies . One of my favorite items to secure used pouches and wafers are simple opaque black doggie - poo bags . They are cheap , non - bulky , and lightweight . Moreover , Ziplock bags can easily un - zip or pop open when jostled . However , doggie poo bags can be tied tightly with an overhand knot . Even when packing out pouches with the the most watery output , I have never had one leak . Though doggie - poo or other plastic bags may work well for holding used pouches , they don 't do a good job of containing odors . Even when I double - bag them in a regular Zip - lock bag , the smell still comes through . One great product for solving this dilemma is OPSAK odor proof barrier bags . They come in two different sizes and are great for holding in odors when you need to pack out full ostomy pouches . They are pricey , so I place all my sealed doggy - poo bags into one OPSAK , empty it into the trash at the trailhead , and then save it for another trip . Unfortunately , closed - end pouches that are full of ostomy output are incredibly heavy and take up space in one 's pack . I once weighed my full nighttime pouches on a two - night backpack trip and they collectively weighed three pounds . Multiply that for longer trips and the extra weight becomes quite burdensome . I was faced with such a dilemma on a nine - day backpacking trip in the Sangre De Cristo range of Colorado in August . This trip was a particularly strenuous one with difficult off - trail travel over incredibly steep mountain passes . Our packs were heavy due to the amount of food we had to carry and the last thing I wanted to do was add more weight to my pack in the form of closed - end pouches filled with poop . At first I had planned to just go out into the night to empty to save from carrying the extra weight , but every evening at bed time the storms and torrential rains seemed to roll in . Fortunately , I found a great way to solve this problem by using some OstoSolutions Ostomy Pouch Disposal Seals that I had brought along . In the tent , I would swap out a closed - end pouch as I always had . However , instead of just tossing the full one into a baggie and tying it shut , I would cap it with an OstoSolutions Seal . In the morning , I would take a long hike from camp and dig a cathole in perfect Leave No Trace style . I would then remove the OstoSolutions Seal from the full pouch and dump the contents in the hole . Finally , I would snap the OstoSolutions Seal back on the now - empty pouch and bag it up to be packed out . The weight savings in packing out used ( but no longer full ) pouches was huge ! The OstoSolutions Seals themselves are very light . I found that packing one for each night ( plus a few more for those rare nights when I might have to empty twice ) was easily doable . The seals would also be handy in alpine areas where digging holes to empty can cause damage to the delicate environment . A full pouch , capped with an OstoSolutions Seal , could be packed out until one got below treeline . There the seal could be snapped off , and the contents of the pouch buried in a much less fragile place . Don 't let a fear of being away from a bathroom prevent you from heading into the wilds . With these four supplies ( closed - end pouches , doggie poo bags , OPSAK bags , OstoSolutions Seals ) , you will be ready for storms , darkness , snow , rock , water , a heavy pack or any other challenges that might present themselves in the backcountry . If these supplies end up not working for you , get creative . An ostomy can be managed in even the craziest situations - it is just a matter of experimenting and finding the right tools for the job . Published on February 9 , 2014February 20 , 2014 by ostomyoutdoors7 Comments A couple of summers ago I climbed Devil 's Tower in Wyoming on a 98 degree day . As there was no place to empty up on the rock , I used closed - end pouches and carried the full ones out in my backpack . As I was rappelling the route upon completion of the climb , I noticed that I could smell ostomy output through my backpack . Oh no ! My used ostomy pouches must be leaking out of the plastic bags I put them in , I thought . When I got to the base of the tower , I opened the lid of my pack with trepidation . However , all was well with my ostomy pouches . They were still nestled securely in three layers of plastic - the final one being an OPSAK odor - proof bag . The heat had simply made things very smelly and no amount of bagging seemed to help . If odor - proof bags couldn 't conceal the smell , I figured nothing could . I accepted that an odoriferous backpack would be my new reality on hot - weather outdoor adventures . Fortunately , thanks to a new product called OstoSolutions Ostomy Pouch Disposal Seals , my backpack will be smelling a lot fresher . Last fall , a representative from the company contacted me to see if I would give the OstoSolution Seals a try and provide feedback . Though I don 't get paid to promote products , I enjoy trying samples out and letting readers know about supplies that may make managing their ostomy easier . After learning about the OstoSolutions Seals , I was excited to test them out because it seemed like there were many situations where they could be useful for outdoor adventures . An OstoSolutions Ostomy Pouch Disposal Seal is a lid for the opening of a two - piece ostomy pouch . It snaps on and keeps any odor or output from coming out when a used pouch is thrown away . To insure a tight fit , Ostosolutions Seals are pouch - specific and are available for a wide variety of brands and sizes . I have an ileostomy and empty my pouch four to eight times a day . Because of this , I usually use drainable pouches and keep one on for three to four days . If I were to use disposable closed - end pouches everyday , I would go through far too many and it would be expensive . However , when I am in places where it is difficult to empty a pouch , for instance on a cliff face or in deep snow , I do use closed - end pouches and pack them out when full . These are the times when I could see the OstoSolutions Seals being practical for me . The first opportunity I had to try out the seals was while doing volunteer flood - relief work in my home state of Colorado . I was scheduled to help dig out a home in a heavily impacted area and knew there would be no restrooms nearby . I wasn 't comfortable digging a hole to empty and it was difficult to find privacy with 20 other volunteers working at the site . My only option for managing my ostomy waste was to use a closed - end pouch and pack it out . This provided the perfect opportunity to test out one of the OstoSolutions Seals . After shoveling mud all morning and taking a lunch break , my pouch was finally getting full . I wandered a short distance from the house , ducked behind a tree , discreetly removed my pouch and popped on a fresh one . Then I snapped an OstoSolutions Ostomy Pouch Disposal Seal onto the coupling ring of the full pouch . It was as easy as putting a lid on a food container and completely secure . I did throw the full pouch in Ziplock out of habit , but I wouldn 't have had to . With the seal securely on the pouch , there was absolutely no chance of stool leaking out . I worked for the remainder of the afternoon and used one more seal on a full pouch before finishing up for the day . My husband and I had carpooled to the site with two strangers in their Volkswagen Golf . As we made the hour - long trip back to Boulder , it was comforting to know that no odors would be wafting out of my pack and into the airspace of the small car . The second test was on a November hike to the top of 14 , 440 ft . Mt . Elbert in Colorado . I knew it was going to be very cold and windy on the adventure and I hoped that using the OstoSolutions Seals would make swapping out my full pouches faster . I have Raynaud 's disease and when my fingers are exposed to cold temperatures , my circulation becomes impaired . Without blood , they turn waxy white and become prone to frostbite very quickly . Just 500 feet below the summit , I realized my pouch was getting full . My hiking companions kept going while I dashed behind a boulder to swap out pouches . I quickly lowered my waistband , took off the full pouch and put on a fresh one . After that I snapped an Ostosolutions Seal on the used pouch and tossed it loosely into a stuff sack in my pack . After a quick dollop of hand sanitizer , my gloves were quickly back on my hands and I was catching up to my friends on the trail . Not having to take the time to close multiple Ziplock bags in the freezing wind saved my fingers . Using OstoSolutions will make swapping out pouches on cold - weather adventures so much easier ! Though I didn 't get to test out the seals on a hot day like the one on my Devil 's Tower climb , I know that they would be a great tool in these types of conditions . When one disposes of a full pouch in a regular plastic bag , such as a Ziplock , the odors are not contained - especially on warm days . To remedy this I would put all my Ziplocks full of ostomy pouches on a given trip into one large reusable OPSAK brand odor - proof bag . This would work fairly well , but on hot days the OPSAKS never fully contained the odor . Also , the OPSAK bags are expensive , and they would wear out after a while and need to be replaced . With the OstoSolutions Seals , I do not have to worry about using odor - proof bags . Ostomy pouches are already made out of odor - proof materials . By covering the opening with an OstoSolutions Seal , no smells can escape . On some adventures where it is easy to dig holes in the dirt to empty my pouch into , I use drainable pouches instead of packing out my waste in closed - end ones . However , I may still have to pack out used pouches when I change my whole appliance on multi - day backcountry trips . An OstoSolutions Seal could also be used to snap onto a used drainable pouch awaiting disposal . The only disadvantage of the seals for me was knowing that I was adding another piece of plastic to the waste stream each time I used one . However , this impact was counteracted by having to toss away far fewer Ziplock bags . The OstoSolutions are also made out of some recycled plastic . I know having an ostomy does result in throwing away a lot of bags , wafers , packaging and other supplies that only have a one - time use . However , these things are necessary for my quality of life without a colon . I choose to focus on all the other important ways I can reduce , reuse and recycle . For instance , I make my own lunches and carry them in re - usable plastic containers , I don 't buy bottled water , I use cloth grocery bags and I recycle every possible thing I can . Published on January 26 , 2014February 1 , 2014 by ostomyoutdoors8 Comments It 's as harsh out here as on top of peak in a snowstorm . This thought pounded in my head as I cross - country skied down a slope in my second - ever biathlon . The wind was blowing against me so strongly that I had to use my poles to make downward progress . I was freezing in my minimal layers , and I felt eerily alone on the course with no one in sight and snow swirling all around me . The weather was declining rapidly , and I was relieved to be on my final of five laps . In the distance I could see the biathlon range as I steadily made my way up a final incline . Snow was filling in the trail with drifts , and I felt like I could have walked faster than I was skiing . All that powder would have been much beloved if I were out snowboarding , but I didn 't much appreciate it in a Nordic race . As I got closer to the finish line , I could see the person recording times from a stopwatch . It seemed to take forever for me to reach him . But I finally made it ! I finished the race and was super happy that I stuck with it and did not give up . I couldn 't remember doing anything that felt so physically strenuous - not even hiking up Mt . Rainier . Skate skiing is one of the most aerobically intense activities I have ever done . We wrapped up the weekend with more fun . After completing the race , we stayed overnight at Snow Mountain Ranch / YMCA of the Rockies ( the place where the biathlon was held ) and even hit up the climbing wall in the pool . The next morning , we got up early and drove to Copper Mountain to go snowboarding . When the event results came in a day later , I discovered that I had the slowest pace of anyone who finished any of the various distances . It wasn 't a surprise . This is a new activity for me and I didn 't expect to be good at it right away . I had been working on my shooting a bit , but had put very little attention into becoming better at skate skiing . That changed last weekend when I took a beginner lesson and picked up countless tips that will help me improve . I also plan to begin working on my cardiovascular fitness again by running and going skate skiing as much as I can . I know it is going to take a lot of time and many little steps to get better at the sport . That reminded me a lot of getting back into the fitness activities and sports I loved after ostomy surgery . Like training for biathlon , it wasn 't a quick process . One of the most common questions I get from blog readers is how long it took me to get back to " X " activity . Since a lot of information on that subject is buried in other posts , I thought I would create a summary of how long it took me to return to activities and what some of the challenges were . Keep in mind that I did have some significant complications with my abdominal incision healing due to a rare reaction to my particular suture material . This extended my healing time . Snowboarding : I did this activity for the first time at around five months post - op , but because it was the end of the season , I was only able to get a few days in . I was surprised at how effortlessly the movement of boarding came back to me after losing so much strength after surgery . The most difficult part was getting back into a standing position after taking a tumble . Due to the crunch - like movement involved , it felt hard on my core . I wore ( and still wear ) a six - inch wide hernia prevention belt to help support my abdominal muscles . At first I was also careful to not venture onto icy terrain since falling onto my butt hurt the area where my anus had been removed . By the next season ( about a year post - op ) , all that pain was gone and I was able to return to my pre - surgery level of boarding . Hiking and backpacking : I went on my first backpacking trip at around five months post - op as well . I checked with my surgeon to make sure carrying 25 pounds was okay and then headed into the backcountry at the first opportunity - which happened to be a very cold and snowy April weekend ! Once again , I wore a six - inch wide hernia prevention belt and was mindful to keep the weight in my pack light . Doug carried many of my things and helped lift the pack onto my back . Once it was centered on my legs , it didn 't strain my abdominal muscles at all . The cold made this first trip with my ostomy difficult , but I was happy with the extra challenge . I knew if I made it through that , warm weather adventures would be easy . After this trip , I kept hiking every weekend and slowly upped the distances traveled and amount of weight carried . I went on a few more overnight trips and began hiking 14 , 000 - foot peaks . I remember walking like a turtle on the first one , but I just kept at it . By ten months post - op , I was able to go on an eight - night backpacking trip carrying 52 pounds . Through all these adventures , I was continuously experimenting with supplies and techniques for dealing with my ostomy outdoors and I tried to put myself in challenging situations to maximize my learning and face my fears . For instance , I could easily have changed an appliance before a wilderness trip , but instead I would purposely wait to do it in my tent in the backcountry just so I could get the practice and become confident with my ostomy in those situation . Running : I waited seven months after surgery to go running and I progressed really slowly . For whatever reason , this activity made me much more fatigued than hiking or backpacking . I also had pains in various areas of my abdominal wall ( almost like a stitch or side - ache in the muscles surrounding my stoma ) for almost a year after surgery . I never knew exactly what caused this , but it always felt okay again a day or two after running so I chalked it up to muscle fatigue . After all , I had been cut open from belly button to pubic bone . That is bound to affect the abdominal wall a bit ! Eventually those muscle aches went away and now I am able to go on long runs with no discomfort . I also wear a six - inch wide hernia prevention during this activity to help support my abdominal wall . Rock climbing : This is the activity I took the longest to return to . Climbing involves many twisting and stretching movements and a lot of physical exertion . My surgeon never said I had to wait a year to go , but that is what I decided to do in order to give myself plenty of time to heal . I knew my ostomy was permanent and I wanted to do everything in my power to reduce the possibility of a long - term injury like a parastomal or incisional hernia . I was willing to wait as long as it took for my body to tell me I was ready . In the meantime , I worked on hiking and backpacking so it never felt like I was sitting around waiting to climb . To get stronger while I was waiting , I worked with my physical therapist to strengthen my core with gentle and safe exercises . By eleven - months post - op , I finally felt that I was strong enough to rock climb . I started in the gym by ascending routes that were easy and low - angle . Then I started to do the same outside . Over the following year , I slowly bumped up the difficulty of routes I was attempting and ventured onto more vertical terrain . At 22 months post - op , I led my first easy sport route . Now that I am over three years out from surgery , I am climbing in the gym on a weekly basis , doing overhanging routes and am back to scaling rock walls at my pre - surgery level . The only thing that I have yet to do is return to leading traditional routes where I place my own gear . Just like with every other strenuous activity , I always wear a six - inch hernia prevention belt . Yoga : Like rock climbing , I waited a year to do yoga . I know I could have gone earlier , but I was busy working on the core exercises with my physical therapist and decided to wait to try yoga until my incision area felt solid . Interestingly , I found corpse pose to be one of my most uncomfortable poses . Lying on my back made my incision area ache like crazy . I think this was the result of horrible posture during the first four months after surgery when my incision was extremely painful . During that time , I was protective of the area , and I found myself walking in a hunched - over position . It took a while to reverse that and make my muscles to feel okay with being lengthened again . Nowadays , corpse pose feels fine and the only thing I still have trouble with are bridge positions . My body tells me to go easy on those and so I do ! I wear a hernia belt while doing yoga too , but switch to a four - inch model as it is easier to bend with that width . Bicycling : This sport was gentle on my body and would have been perfect after surgery save for one thing : my butt hurt from having my rectum and anus removed . And this pain was not quick to go away . It took almost a year for the deep muscles in that area to feel like normal again . Fortunately , once I hit six months - post op , my pain had at least diminished enough that I could sit on the seat without too much discomfort . Now I can spend hours on the saddle with no issues . As I get into my new sport of biathlon , I realize that it is going to take a lot of hard work and patience to get better . I know someday when I am skiing a bit more efficiently and faster , those early times when I struggled up the hills or felt like taking a nap in the snowdrift will seem like a distant memory . It was that way with my ostomy . Getting back to my pre - surgery activity level took perseverance . My progress sometimes seemed dauntingly slow . However , as I moved towards that goal , I celebrated each small victory . Before I knew it I was back on my favorite slopes , trails and rock faces and my life was richer for all the tiny but amazing steps that got me there . Me and my wound vac returning from our first trail hike after surgery . This was four months after my operation and I traveled a whopping 1 / 8 mile . After having major incision healing complications , this was a huge milestone for me and I went home and celebrated with my first post - op beer . Published on July 22 , 2013August 14 , 2013 by ostomyoutdoors15 Comments When life gets busy , some things end up on the back burner . Lately , that item has been sleep . There has barely been a night in the past couple of months when I have gotten more than seven hours of shuteye - usually the number has been closer to five and there have been times it has been less . What has forced sleep onto the back burner ? In part , it 's a large , glaciated peak named Mt . Rainier that I will be climbing very soon . Along with my full - time job , life lately has consisted of these four things : hiking peaks every weekend to prepare for Rainier , going to the gym in the evenings to train for Rainier , keeping up with my physical therapy so that my joint issues don 't crop up on Rainier , prepping and packing for the Rainier climb . See a theme here ? All these things take up an incredible amount of time . Many evenings I don 't get to bed until late trying to squeeze it all in . Most every training peak we have done has required a wake - up time of 1 a . m . in order to make it to trailheads early so that we can summit peaks before afternoon storms roll in . And even then - we experienced static electricity and buzzing hiking poles on one peak as a rogue storm cloud blew in at 9 : 30 a . m . Yikes ! With the climb on the front burner and sleep on the back one , my blog has worked its way into the far rear corner of a little - used cupboard behind a large kettle . Tonight I clanked through the pots and pans and dug it out for a quick post . To everyone who has been tuning in to the blog or who have emailed or commented and not gotten an answer : thanks for your patience . I will be back to posting and corresponding regularly once I return from the trip . Below , I am including some photos of our adventures so you can see what I have been up to . Since my last post about five weeks ago , we have climbed six 14ers and four 13ers , including a three - day backpack trip with one of the adventures . Whew ! As I prepare for Rainier , I am starting to get a little nervous about some ostomy - related things . I am wondering what it will be like trying to discreetly swap out closed - end pouches while roped up on a team , including some strangers . I hope I can keep up with my hydration needs . I am afraid that during short breaks , all my time will be used dealing with my ostomy and that I won 't have time to eat and refuel . Will my ostomy supplies make my pack heavier than everyone else 's ? I know it will all be fine , but there are a lot of unknowns on the trip . One thing that has really helped me not worry are the amazing staff at the guide service we will be using , International Mountain Guides . I have explained what having an ostomy is like to them and have asked for their suggestions on everything from dealing with poop on the mountain , to questions about hydration and accommodating my gluten - free diet . It is always a little awkward bringing up the intimate details of life with an ostomy , but being open about it helps me get the answers I need . The staff has made the process so easy . I feel comfortable asking them anything which definitely helps quell the fears . In many ways though , I love the uncertainty . The best thing I have discovered for becoming confident with my ostomy is to throw myself into new situations wholeheartedly . Through those occurrences , I learn that I can be resourceful and adapt to anything . I can 't wait to see what challenging experiences await me on the gorgeous ice - covered slopes of Mt . Rainier . No doubt I will come back from this adventure with my horizons stretched even farther . On the summit of 14 , 060 ft . Mt . Bierstadt at 9 : 30 a . m . in what we thought was just a rogue , misty cloud rolling through . Moments after this photo was taken , Doug 's hair started to stand on end and our poles began to buzz . We never ran so fast down a mountain . Taking a breather and soaking in the view after hoofing it up a steep gully on our ascent of 14 , 264 ft . Mt . Evans with a 45 - pound pack . We make our packs heavy for training by carrying bags full of water . I actually threw in a few rocks for extra weight before heading up this slope : ) I definitely won 't be doing that on Rainier ! Published on May 16 , 2013May 16 , 2013 by ostomyoutdoors11 Comments Last weekend I was reminded why I love using closed - end ostomy pouches on hikes and climbs . I was up on a long ridge between between Loveland Pass and Mt . Sniktau in Colorado . Though it was a gorgeous 75 - degree day down in Denver , up at 13 , 000 ′ it was blustery and frigid . We left the house at 4 : 15 a . m . so that we would be done with our climb and back to the car before afternoon thunderstorms came in . I emptied my appliance before leaving the house , but by the time we reached the summit of Mt . Sniktau at around 9 a . m . , my pouch was reaching its 1 / 3 full point . This is typically when I like to empty it . Problem was , no ideal place to empty a pouch could be found on the entire ascent . The wind was howling and shelter was non - existent . On top of this , there were many feet of snow on the ground . The few places where there was exposed earth , it was frozen solid . There was also no way to go off of the ridge to empty away from the trail . Precarious cornices sat 50 feet to the east of the route and dangerous avalanche slopes could be found 50 feet to the west . Emptying would have meant draining my pouch in the snow close to the area where people travel . Once the snow melted , fecal matter would have been left on top of the ground in a popular area . This was one of those instances when wearing a two - piece ostomy system and using closed - end pouches was almost a necessity . If you are just finding out that you will be having an ostomy , or are recently out of surgery you may find the sheer number of ostomy appliance choices to be overwhelming . Closed - end , drainable , one - piece , two - piece - what do all these mean and which ones are best suited for various outdoor adventures ? A lot of these choices come down to a matter of personal preference . The goal of this post is to share some information on the basic types of appliances and explain how I utilize the various options on peaks and trails . I 'd also like to hear what you 're using in the outdoors . First , ostomy appliances come in one - or two - piece options . With a one - piece appliance , the wafer ( also sometimes called a skin barrier ) is permanently joined to the bag and cannot be separated - you 're literally stuck with this pouch until you remove the whole thing . The benefits of this style is that it has a low profile and sits very flat against the abdomen . The disadvantage is that because the wafer and bag cannot be separated , you lose the flexibility of being able to swap out different types of pouches unless you take the whole system off your belly . I used one - piece drainable pouches for the first five months after surgery , and on one of my very first major outdoor trips as an ostomate : a three - night early spring backpacking excursion . The ground was snow - covered and frozen on this adventure and I ended up trying to drain my pouch into plastic bags so that I could pack out my waste . It didn 't go well and I got output all over my pants and all over the outside of the bag I was trying to drain into . From that point on , I recognized that a two - piece system would be a better option for my outdoor trips . In a one - piece ostomy system , the wafer is permanently attached to the pouch . Because of this , swapping out different pouch styles on the same wafer is impossible . Pictured is a Coloplast SenSura X - Pro drainable one - piece appliance . With a two - piece appliance , the wafer and pouch are separate and attach to each other with a plastic ring that snaps together much like Tupperware . Once the wafer is on your belly , different styles of pouches can be put on or taken off this ring . These systems are a little higher profile because of the plastic ring . However , there is much flexibility in using them because you can swap out different types of pouches depending on your activities . Due to this , a two - piece appliance is my clear choice for outdoor adventures . Also , I find that even with the plastic ring , two - piece ostomy systems are undetectable under my clothing . There are also choices for the pouch portion of an ostomy appliance ; they come in drainable or closed - end versions . Drainables have a tail that unfolds so that output can be emptied out of the bottom . Once the tail of the pouch is wiped clean , it rolls up and closes with either a clip or a Velcro strip until it needs to be emptied again . A person with an ostomy may use the same drainable pouch for multiple days . Closed - end pouches have no tail . Once they fill up , they are designed to be thrown away full . Due to their simpler design , they cost less per bag than drainable pouches . However , most ileostomates don 't use them the majority of the time . Due to output coming directly out of the small intestine having higher water content , those with ileostomies usually have to empty their pouches six times a day or more . Even though closed - end pouches have a cheaper per - pouch cost , going through so many in 24 hours makes them impractical and not cost - effective . Generally closed - end pouches are better suited for those with colostomies who may only have to empty a few times a day . That said , there are occasions when closed - end pouches are the perfect tool for those with ileostomies too . With a two - piece system , the pouches can be separated from the wafer and swapped out . On the left is a drainable pouch and on the right is a closed - end one . Pictured clockwise is a Convatec Sur - fit Natura drainable pouch with an Invisiclose tail , a closed - end pouch , and a Durahesive cut - to - fit wafer . Drainable pouches are my preference most of the time , even on wilderness adventures , as long as I can find a good place to empty . Packing out full closed - end pouches can be heavy due to the high water content of ileostomy output . In fact , I once weighed the trash bag that contained a day 's worth of full closed - end pouches after an all - day climb and it came in at 3 . 5 pounds ! Multiply that for trips that may be several days long and you can see why I use closed - end pouches only when necessary . However , my hike on the ridge is an example of an ideal time to use a closed - end pouch . I also like using closed - end pouches in other places where it is impossible to empty : on cliff faces when climbing , on rocky peaks where it is impossible to dig a cathole , and on crowded urban trails . Though I haven 't been on a river trip with my ostomy yet , I can also see them being very useful in these situations when one cannot get far enough from a water source to empty . Also , it takes longer to dig a hole in the ground and properly drain my pouch when in the wilderness than to swap out a pouch . There have been a few times when I have been caught in storms and have decided to swap to a closed - end pouch instead of draining in order to minimize my exposure to lightning , high winds , cold rain or other dangerous elements . Both drainable and closed - end options also come in smaller sizes if one wants a tinier pouch for some activities such as swimming . It is also worth mentioning that there is one other style of two - piece ostomy appliances ; they are called adhesive coupling systems . Instead of having a plastic Tupperware - like ring like traditional two - pieces , the wafer has a smooth plastic area and the pouch affixes to this with a sticky adhesive ring . The benefit of these is that , without a plastic ring , they are very flat on the belly . You can still swap out pouch styles by peeling off the old bag from the wafer and sticking on a new one . However , I find that adhesive coupling appliances don 't work well on my outdoor trips . When I peel off the full pouch , a little output inevitably gets on the place where I am supposed to affix a clean one . I then have to fully clean this in order to get the fresh pouch to stick . It ends up being too messy and hard to deal with in the wilderness where there is no water to clean up with . I find it much easier to use the traditional two - piece appliances with plastic rings . Even if a small bit of output gets on the ring , it still snaps together fine and is not messy at all . In adhesive coupling two - piece systems , the wafers and pouches adhere together with an sticky ring . They are wonderfully low profile , but I find them messy to swap out when on outdoor trips . Pictured on the left is a Convatec Esteem Synergy adhesive coupling system and on the right is a Coloplast SenSura Flex wafer and pouch . A downside of closed - end pouches is that they are a disposable item . I try to make the best environmental choices possible in my daily activities , so I do sometimes cringe when I throw away my bag of closed - end pouches after a climb knowing I have added more to the landfill than I would have if I would have stuck to a drainable that day . I try to remind myself that I do this for a medical reason and to deal with a basic life process of bodily waste removal . In other aspects of my life , I try my best to be gentle on the earth . I take reusable bags to the store , drive a fuel - efficient vehicle , use public transit , buy organic produce to protect wildlife from pesticides , use eco - cleaners to keep toxins out of our water supply , recycle every item possible , and make wise purchases . I hope that , in the grand scheme of things , the impact of the pouches that I throw away is small . I really do only try to use them when absolutely necessary . When I was on Mount Sniktau on Sunday and decided draining wouldn 't be possible , I even began to wonder if I could find a good place to take off my full pouch and put an empty closed - end one on . It was so windy and there were people everywhere on the ridge . Once my pouch was 1 / 3 full , I couldn 't find a place to make the switch . I decided I would wait until later to deal with it . The good thing about my ostomy is that , unless I eat something that irritates my stomach and gives me pure liquid output , I have plenty of time to get around to emptying . It is rarely urgent . As I made my way down the ridge from the summit , more and more people were coming up and I realized I couldn 't be fussy with my site selection for swapping . My pouch was now 1 / 2 full and I needed to take care of it soon . I ran ahead of Doug and his dad but also saw that some people were heading towards me . I had about 5 minutes before they reached me so I tossed my pack to the side of the trail next to a small pile of rocks and tried to create a wind break . I then dug my supplies out and tied a small doggie poo bag to my pack strap so it wouldn 't blow away ( this is what I would throw the full pouch into ) . Next I pulled down the front of my pant waistband , took my hernia prevention belt off , and quickly swapped out the full pouch for the clean one . Just as I had gotten my clothing back into place and was bagging up my trash , the two hikers approached me . I said hello and we talked for a second about the route . They clearly had no idea I had just dealt with my ostomy . To them , from a distance it probably looked like I was futzing around with my clothing or backpack . One can very discreetly manage their ostomy on the trail with a two - piece system and closed - end pouches . With all the options out there , it pays to experiment with all the different brands and styles . Don 't feel like you have to use only one type of appliance . Have a dressy occasion where you definitely don 't want your appliance to show ? Wear a sleek one - piece that week . Hanging out at the beach all day ? Go for a mini drainable pouch that won 't hang out beyond the bottom of your suit . And if , like me , you find yourself needing to empty on a wind - swept ridge with sheer drop - offs on both sides - a two - piece with a closed - end pouch may be just the ticket . Take advantage of all the products out there to make life with your ostomy the best it can be . This is the spot along the trail where I switched out my pouch . By the time Doug caught up and snapped this photo , I was already finished managing my ostomy and was changing my camera battery . However , from a distance , swapping out a pouch doesn 't look much different than this . It can be done very discreetly . A couple of months ago UPTT Inc . sent me a One Pass Ostomy Draining Device ( OPODD ) to try on my adventures . Due to my hip injury , I had to put off testing the device outdoors until a three - day backpacking in Rocky Mountain National Park in June . This , however , did not stop me from trying it indoors . The OPODD is an instrument with two flat rollers that clamps onto your pouch when you want to empty . With one downward motion , the device pushes all pouch contents swiftly out of the tail . Though it took a few tries to get used to the OPODD , once I had the hang of it I found myself reaching for the tool again and again . It is especially useful on those days when my output is thick and difficult to push out of the pouch . One quick swipe of the device and the output is forced out - no matter what its consistency . After trying it out , I was convinced that the OPODD was great to use at home . Now it was time to take it into the wilderness with me . Ever mindful of my pack weight , I am very picky about what I choose to bring on backpacking trips . Something has to be highly useful to make the cut . It didn 't take long to realize how happy I was to have the OPODD along on my first backpack adventure of the season . In the middle of cooking dinner on our first night , the sky darkened and big heavy raindrops spilled from the sky . We swiftly donned our rain gear and dashed under the trees with our dinner . Despite being covered by tree branches and Gore Tex , my clothing soaked up the dampness and my teeth began to chatter from the chill . Leave it to my ostomy to decide that this was the best time to produce ample amounts of output . I had to make a trek to the camp privy in a full - on rain storm . That night , the handiness of the OPODD proved itself again . When I do strenuous exercise such as backpacking during the day , my output often slows down or stops almost entirely . That means everything comes out later - often in the middle of the night . Getting up at 2 a . m and walking five minutes away from camp alone is unnerving . Sitting down to empty my appliance by headlamp while surrounded by miles and miles of pitch black wilderness spooks me out . It is one of those times when I swear twigs are being stepped on all around me , and I imagine mountain lions behind every boulder . Pulse racing and goosebumps fully engaged , I want to purge the contents of my pouch as fast as possible and get back to the tent . This particular night , I ended up having to endure this experience a couple of times . It was wonderful to be able to clamp the OPODD on my pouch , slide the contents out quickly and return to the comfort of my sleeping bag and the company of a snoring Doug . My positive experiences that first day made the device completely worth its weight - and that is really the only issue with bringing the OPODD on outdoor trips . For those who try to backpack on the ultra - light side , the OPODD weighs in at 3 . 6 ounces . Not heavy by any means , but when one is trying to get their pack weight as low as possible , every ounce counts . Personally I feel that the extra weight is a small price to pay for the ease the device adds to emptying my pouch in the wilderness . The only challenge I noticed with the OPODD was that it couldn 't slide over the Velcro at the end of my Convatec Pouches . This didn 't end up being an issue though . I would just push the output as far as the Velcro with the OPODD and then drain out the rest manually . This actually worked great because it prevents any output from getting on the device . As I continued to test out the OPODD , I realized that it was going to become an indispensable piece of outdoor gear . Two weeks after the Rocky Mountain National Park trip , Doug and I were out in the backcountry again on a hike up Mt . Massive which included two nights of camping in the wilderness . This time the challenge was mosquitoes which swarmed around me every time I tried to empty . One plus of having an ostomy is that you don 't have to expose your bum when emptying like you would when having a normal bm . Still , the skeeters were happy to attack the uncovered skin on my hands instead . The speed at which the OPODD allowed me to empty prevented me from getting many itchy bites . Published on October 30 , 2011August 6 , 2012 by ostomyoutdoors8 Comments It was a gorgeously sunny October day last year when I packed up my harness and backpack and headed out the door . No , I wasn 't going on a hike or climb . In fact , the place I was traveling to wasn 't even outside . As I arrived at my destination , I walked down the sidewalk and through the double sliding door of the building . I made my way to the check - in line by the front desk and felt somewhat self - conscious with my huge backpack sticking out of a bag slung over my shoulder . A few moments later , I entered the crowded elevator , where people gave me quizzical glances . Such gear would be expected at a trailhead , but it was not the norm here . However , today , having my pack and harness was as important as it would have been on any hike or climb . As the elevator door opened on the ninth floor , I nervously walked to the department down the hall to meet my wound , ostomy and continence ( WOC ) nurse for the first time . It was time to have the site of my stoma marked . I had been told to wear my favorite pants to the meeting so that the location would match with my clothing . However , I also decided to bring my harness and backpack . With outdoor activities being a huge passion in my life , I wanted to make sure that my stoma location would work as well as possible with my gear . The paper cut - out shows where my stoma is . The location between the waist belt and leg loops prevents the harness from rubbing on my stoma . My belly button sits right under the waist belt . At the meeting , the nurse shared important information about what to expect with output , eating , activities etc . Finally it was time to get the location marked . I felt a little funny explaining to her that along with making sure the spot worked with my belly and with my clothing , I also wanted to test it out with my harness and pack . Fortunately , she didn 't make me feel silly about my request at all , and soon I had a big blue dot on my abdomen about two inches to the right of my belly button and two inches below . This was a good location because it was below my belt line . This meant that gear or clothing waistbands would not rest on my stoma or prevent output from reaching the bottom of my pouch . When I got home , I stood in front of the mirror and looked at the mark . I tried to picture what it would look like with a stoma there instead . Suddenly , my decision to have the surgery seemed very real , and I felt excited and nervous at the same time . To further discover how my new stoma spot worked with my clothing and gear , I filled up the ostomy appliance my nurse had given me with applesauce and taped it on top of the blue dot on my belly . I then went out to the garage to dig out every backpack I owned . The one I had taken to my nurse visit was my favorite overnight one , but there was also the brand new day pack I had just bought before I got sick again . I had only used it once . And then there was the large load - monster of a pack that I took on very long trips . Would that one work with the ostomy ? One by one , I tried on the packs and they all seemed to rest well above my stoma . I was encouraged . 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For those of you who tuned in last week for chapter 1 , the action picks up right where it left off . This chapter is a bit longer , so a few of your lingering questions may be answered , but most of them won 't . Guess you 'll just have to stop by next week for the third and final chapter preview … They stood in the storeroom behind the second - floor bar . Tony and his boy Rocco had dragged Ray up the stairs and shoved him into the storeroom as soon as the four armed robbers left . Tony wanted to find out firsthand what had happened . So far he had not liked what he had heard . " Let me get this straight , " Tony said . " Four guys waltz in here with guns , rob us blind , kill Vincent 's son , and all you did was lay down like a bitch ? " Looking disgusted , Tony turned away and pressed the heels of both hands into his eyes as if he were trying to keep them from popping out . Then he spun back around and threw a punch . Ray tried to duck but he wasn 't quick enough . Tony 's fist caught him just above the left eye and bounced his head off the wall . Tony stared at Ray and flexed his right hand . " Is that how you acted when you was in the joint ? I bet you just bent over and took it up the ass , didn 't you ? " Ray looked back and forth between Tony and Rocco , biting back the rage that welled up inside him . He wasn 't going to provoke Tony , not here . Tony stood in front of him in his charcoal gray , hand - stitched Italian silk suit , wearing it over a cream - colored shirt and burgundy tie , his feet encased in a soft pair of Bruno Magli loafers . The whole thing was worth an easy fifteen hundred bucks . Tony Zello , the man everybody called Tony Z . He was forty , just a couple years older than Ray , a real up - and - comer , the right - hand man to the guy who ran the House - Vinnie Messina . Tony spit at Ray 's feet and turned away . Ray figured he was disappointed that Ray hadn 't tried to hit him back . Tony looked at Rocco . " You believe what a fucking pussy this guy is ? " Rocco just nodded . He was big and dumb and never said much . He had on a nice suit , too , but he couldn 't pull off the look the way Tony did . Rocco always looked like he had trouble stuffing himself into his clothes , like maybe they were a size too small . The two of them were always together , just in case Tony Z . needed someone 's leg broken or a skull cracked . The storeroom door stood open and Ray could see a few employees milling around on the other side of the bar , peeking in and listening to what was going on . Tony liked to have an audience . Somebody called out . " Tony , the cops want you downstairs . " Ray heard Tony tell everyone to go downstairs . After everybody left , Ray walked out of the storeroom . He found a towel behind the bar and wrapped some ice in it . His head had stopped bleeding , but he could feel his left eye starting to swell . The second - floor casino was deserted . As soon as the gunmen had left and before anyone called the cops , Tony and Rocco had shown all the gamblers the back door and reminded them they were never here . Then they did the same thing on the third floor , except it had taken a little longer since a lot of the customers weren 't dressed . The girls had been told to stay in the rooms and keep quiet . " Shane ! " someone shouted from the stairwell . Ray walked over and looked down . Rocco stood halfway down the stairs , one hand on the rail , the other cupped next to his mouth . Western Wednesdays returns this week and in style ! I 'm previewing the first chapter of Spur award - winner John D . Nesbitt 's latest Gather My Horses . Also , I 'm giving away a trade paperback copy of Gather My Horses to one lucky commenter , so be sure to let us know what you think of this sneak peek ! As he came around a curve in the trail , swaying with the motion of his horse , Tom Fielding caught a view of the valley below the rim . Up here on top , the earth was ocher - colored , dotted with sparse vegetation and small rocks . Past the edge , the valley stretched out in dark hues of waving green . Across the sea of grass , the hills to the west rose in lighter tones , still green , while beyond them in the distance , the Laramie Mountainsstood in shades of bluish gray and light purple , with patches of darkest green . Another turn in the trail closed off most of the view as the edge of the rim slanted upward . A minute later , the trail turned to the left again and began its descent , a gentle slope that led into an opening in the wall . Thirty yards ahead , the trail fell away in sharper decline , down through a gash in the bluffs . Fielding drew his horse to a stop and paused on the verge before going down . He turned in the saddle and looked back as the first four packhorses came to a stop . The kid Mahoney had come to a halt as well , and the three pack animals he was leading bunched up behind him . Fielding motioned with his head toward the trail through the gap , and Mahoney nodded . After a moment 's breather , Fielding nudged his saddle horse and started forward . The trail itself was wide enough for wagon travel , but late spring rains had washed trenches in the road , and the horses had to pick their feet up and set them down with care as they shifted and sidestepped . By habit , Fielding held the lead rope at his hip . Though the ruts called for careful navigation , Fielding didn 't mind them . Until someone could get a team and a scraper up here , the only way to get by was on horseback , so a bit of business had come his way , packing supplies to a couple of ranches and farms up on the flats . It had been an easy trip , with not a single tree or rock for a horse to rub a pack against , and the kid Mahoney had gotten an introduction into this line of work . Straight ahead lay an expanse of grassland that sloped down toward darker grass . Beyond the meadowlike area , Chugwater Creek marked its course with a procession of trees , left to right , as the creek flowed northward to the Laramie River . Past the creek a half mile or so lay the town of Umber , which at this distance looked like three and a half rows of packing crates set along the railroad . The tracks themselves caught a shine from the afternoon sun as they ran parallel to the creek , through the center of the valley . Fielding 's gaze traveled from the middle distance out to the edge and around . Off to the south , two tree lines showed where Hunter Creek flowed into Chugwater Creek . Between those two protecting groves of cottonwoods would lie the headquarters of the Buchanan Ranch . Straight ahead across the valley , where the hills began to lift , he could pick out Bill Selby 's place marked by a pale clump of trees . Farther back in the hills and up a ways , Andrew Roe 's buildings squatted in a corner made by two hills . Even farther and to the left , in a place he could not see from here , would be Richard Lodge 's hardscrabble claim that he called the Magpie . Then swinging his view around to the right and following the treetop course of Chugwater Creek about five miles north , Fielding picked out the site of J . P . Cronin 's ranch , the Argyle . These were his reference points as he took in the valley as a whole - the creek , the town , the railroad , and the ranches big and little in the country that spread out all around . Less distinct for him was a spot on Antelope Creek , tucked away on the other side of the far line of hills . It wasn 't much as he pictured it , just a set of pole corrals , a large spreading cottonwood , a level area where he pitched his camp , and a grassy creek bottom where he turned out his horses . He couldn 't rightly call it his because it was on the public domain , with no fences or boundaries to separate it from the rest of the open range ; but it was his base , the place he left and returned to when he went on pack trips . Fielding brought his attention back to the trail as his weight shifted with the horse . He had come almost to the bottom of the steep part , and the ravine on his left opened up like the mouth of a small canyon . On the far edge stood a thicket of chokecherry bushes , leafed out and grazed across the bottom like so many trees in cow country . The earth all around the thicket , except on the uphill side , was worn bare where cattle took to the shade . At the bottom where the trail leveled out , Fielding stopped the animals to let them rest for a couple of minutes . All the packs were riding even , which was to be expected , as they carried nothing but ropes , empty cloth and burlap sacks , folded canvas , and the camp items . Out of habit , Fielding counted the packhorses . Mahoney rode up alongside and stopped . He pulled on the tag and string that hung out of the pocket of his black vest , and out came the bag of makin 's . After giving the lead rope a couple of dallies around his saddle horn , he kept the reins in his left hand as he went about rolling a cigarette . He narrowed his blue - green eyes , which never seemed to be open all the way , and paid close attention to his work . He rolled a tight one , licked the free edge , and tapped the seam . Then he popped a match , held it to the end of the quirly , and drew a deep lungful of smoke . Ten seconds later he exhaled , with his head tipped again toward the northwest . " Uh - huh . " Fielding thought the kid had become pretty knowledgeable in a short while . Give him a couple more days , and he 'd be telling the boss how to throw his hitches and pull the slack . Fielding took a deep breath to keep himself from getting impatient . He told himself Mahoney was just a green kid trying to prove himself . From the looks of him , he had just gotten his new outfit a short while back inCheyenne . His round - crowned hat , striped shirt , denim trousers , and brown boots were all close to brand - new . So were his nickel - plated spurs with one - inch rowels , and so was his . 44 with the clean wooden grips and the new bluing . Just a kid with a fuzzy mustache . Fielding waited until Mahoney finished his cigarette . Then he put his horse into motion and looked back . The other horses no doubt knew they were on the way home , as they picked up their feet and jogged along . Mahoney fell in behind with his three horses , and the little pack train moved in order as before . The group stopped in town long enough for Fielding to leave off the mail he had brought down from the flats and for Mahoney to water the horses . When Fielding came out of the little wooden building that housed the post office , he saw the kid slouched by the water trough , a cigarette drooping from his lips and his right thumb on his gun belt . His left hand held the ropes for the two strings of pack animals , and the saddle horses were hitched to the rack . Fielding gave an upward toss of the head as he moved to untie his horse , and when he had the reins , the kid handed him a lead rope . Fielding led his horse out , checked the cinch , and swung aboard . The afternoon sun had still not dipped below the tip of his hat brim when he crossed the tracks and headed westward . Traveling light as he was , he figured he could cover the four miles to his campsite in less than an hour . If he were pressed for time and riding alone , he might save from a quarter to a half hour by straightening out the route rather than follow the trail as it wound through the low hills . But he had no reason to hurry today . He was on the tail end of an easy trip , with plenty of daylight left . After the first curve in the trail and going into the second , which set the course westward again , Fielding saw the light green shades of box elder and young cottonwoods that marked Bill Selby 's place . Fielding had seen it from across the valley and up a ways , but from the valley floor to here , swells in the rising land closed off all but the fringe of the treetops . Now the ranch site came into view , a quarter of a mile to the left . It looked as if Selby had company . He was facing three men who stood by their horses . The men had their backs to the lane that came in from the main trail . Fielding gave the scene a close study as his horse clip - clopped along . A feeling of displeasure rose within him as he noted the layout . Selby stood hatless in the middle of his ranch yard , face - to - face with a larger man in a dark shirt . From this distance , the man looked like George Pence , one of J . P . Cronin 's riders and not the most likeable . The other two men were standing back holding the horses , with not much more than their hats visible . A voice rose on the air as the man in the dark shirt made a flicker of movement . Fielding tensed , then reined his horse to the left and nudged him to follow the lane into the yard . Fielding glanced back to see that Mahoney was following , caught a curious look from the kid , and turned forward to keep things on course . As he approached the ranch yard , the men and horses stood ahead on his right . As the voices died away , one of the two men holding the visitors ' horses came around the front of the nearest one and stared at the oncoming party . He was a clean - shaven man , a little taller than average . He wore a brown hat , brown vest , and white shirt . Fielding strained to try to recognize the man , but he saw nothing familiar about him . The scene ahead shifted , and the large man came to stand next to his associate . Fielding recognized the tall - crowned hat , dark blue wool shirt , beefy face , and brown side whiskers . It was George Pence , just as he had thought at first glance . Fielding dismounted . He didn 't like to ride into someone 's camp or ranch and look down on him , just as he didn 't like another man to act that way toward him . " Not a stranger , " he said , passing the reins to his right hand . " Don 't need to be on business to drop in and see a friend . " He motioned with his head in the direction of Selby , who had come forward but stood a few paces away from the other two . Fielding noted the smooth voice , the polite accent he had heard in others who affected a gentleman 's image . " That 's good , " he said , " for everyone to be friends . " He flicked a glance at the blocky form of George Pence , met his dull brown eyes , and came back to the clean - shaven man with the clean vest and white shirtsleeves . " My name 's Tom Fielding , and I 'm a packer . " The other man smiled without showing his teeth . " I like a man who says what he is . " The dark eyes traveled down the file of horses and came back . " And I like a man who is what he says . " Another smile . " My name 's Al Adler . I 'm the foreman at J . P . Cronin 's Argyle Ranch . " The man pulled a brown leather glove off his right hand and offered to shake . Pence stepped forward and squared his shoulders . His right hand hung over his smooth - worn gun belt . " Maybe we think you should . You interrupted a conversation , you know . " Selby 's voice seemed to have a quaver in it as he answered . " I suppose so , in a way . Pence here was trying to tell me where to run my cattle , or where not to . I said it was open range , and his boss didn 't have any more right to it than I do . " Pence cut in . " That 's a mealymouthed way of puttin ' it . What I said was , he 'd better keep his rib - racked cattle off the Argyle meadows . " Selby came right back , his voice steadier now . " And I told him that if any of that land was private , it was up to the owner to fence it off . That 's Wyoming law , and everyone knows it . " Read more of this post Today 's edition of All About Audio ( books ) brings a little spice to your Monday with Angie Fox 's The Dangerous Book for Demon Slayers , the hilariously fun follow - up to The Accidental Demon Slayer . Listen to the first chapter for free and start your week out right ! " Fox is back and serving up a second helping of high - octane mania . The world according to new demon slayer Lizzie Brown is full of major potholes and irritating biker witches , and the gaps in this heroine 's demon - slaying education are both hilarious and dangerous . The phrase Sin City never rang truer than it does in this supernatural ruckus ! " " Fox will snare you with humor , crazy but lovable characters and more than a dash of excellent dialogue . In a dictionary somewhere , Lizzie and Gertie are featured under the definition of ' fun . ' Enjoy ! " House of the Rising Sun , a July trade and e - book release , is as gritty and exciting as you 'd expect a New Orleans - set thriller to be . Ray Shane is an ex - cop who was in the wrong place at the wrong time . After the House of the Rising Sun , the mafia - run strip bar where he works , was robbed by gunmen , Ray finds himself targeted by the mafia for a crime he didn 't commit . The corrupt may govern in New Orleans , but can Ray unearth the lies before there 's nowhere left to turn ? So now 's your chance to preview the first chapter for yourselves , thriller fans . If you 're anything like me , you won 't want to stop reading . Be sure to tune in next Thursday for chapter 2 ! Ray Shane turned around and found a gun stuck in his face . The muzzle was a black hole the size of an ashtray , barely a foot from his nose . Somewhere at the other end of the barrel a voice whispered , " Don 't move , motherfucker . " Ray had been working the front door of a place called The House of the Rising Sun , a mob - owned strip joint on the ground floor of an old four - story hotel in the French Quarter . That was the legal part of the business . What happened on the other three floors was … less legal . Normally , Ray didn 't even work the front door . He had only been filling in for the regular doorman , a pimply faced Mexican kid named Hector who asked Ray to cover for him while he went to take a leak . Ray had entertained himself during Hector 's absence by chain - smoking Lucky Strikes and watching the freak show flowing past him on Bourbon Street . Halloween night brought out all the weirdos , but it was late and the crowd was thinning . Most of the tourists had reached their limit and called it a night . The only ones left were kids too dumb to know when to quit and hard - core drunks who couldn 't . After playing doorman for twenty minutes , Ray had checked his watch and saw it was just past three a . m . He pulled a walkie - talkie from his back pocket and called Hector . When the kid didn 't answer , Ray figured he was probably hanging out by the stage , gawking at the strippers . One more cigarette . That 's how much time Ray had decided to give Hector . Standing on the sidewalk , he lit another Lucky Strike , breathed in a lungful of smoke , then closed his eyes and rubbed a hand over his face . He was so tired he was having trouble staying awake . Just three more hours . Then he could go home and crash . That 's when he found the gun stuck in his face . The muzzle twelve inches from his nose . He still had the walkie - talkie in his hand . Read more of this post No one wants to be caught with only one book at the beach ; it 's just as irresponsible to have a minimal amount of reading options as it is to intentionally give yourself skin cancer . So grab your SPF and load up your e - reader with our Summer Beach Reads ! Whether you 're looking for a steamy romance or a lighthearted contemporary , these books are the perfect addition to your seaside forays . And we 're offering them at $ 3 . 99 just for you ! " What if a snowstorm wasn 't really a snowstorm , but a camouflage for something hideous ? A cover or a mask for something horrible that comes in to feed ? " - Ronald Malfi Malfi asks the questions and provides one hell of an answer with Snow . Preview the first chapter of Snow for free . A limited supply of autographed copies are available at the regular price , so be sure to order your copy today ! " Ronald Malfi has a way with words . His command of the language will leave you breathless , dreaming of vivid landscapes , and in terrible fear for your life . The monsters in Malfi 's mind become tangible and all too real when he sets them loose on the page . Snow is an incredible modern horror story with a decadent feel , and the perfect marriage of beauty and brutality . His writing is reminiscent of the old classics , but has all of the daring and flair of the modern genre . " - Paperback Horror
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It may be work , it may be play , it may be near , it may be away . So here is the challenge - to shoot and post one photograph a day on this site . These photographs are a kind of diary of things I find interesting . I am also thinking that there will be days when I am unable to shoot , so on those infrequent occasions , I will post a photograph done on another day , but one that still feels important to me . - Ken Spencer I was out drinking the other night , and saw this scene behind the bar . Just kidding ! What really happened was that while walking down the main drag in Saratoga Springs , around lunchtime , there was a sign in front of a restaurant : " Best Burgers in town . " So we thought , " What the heck - let 's give them a try . " While sitting in a booth , and looking around waiting for food to arrive , I spotted this dramatically lit scene behind the bar . Click ! I just love the richness of the electric blue . Really stunning architectural design . Oh , I nearly forgot . . . The burgers were absolutely delicious ! I drove back home from Saratoga Springs this morning . We arrived about noon . After unpacking I realized that it was Memorial Day , so I went to the closet and got out our American Flag . It was then that I realized I missed the Sea Cliff Memorial Day parade ! I have probably attended every Memorial Day parade for the last 20 years . I didn 't used to go every year , but read an article by a friend years ago about his growing up in Maine , and the meaning and importance of the parade to him . After that , I have gone every year . Sorry I missed it this year . The reason we came to Saratoga Springs is for the wedding of the son of my good friend ( and astronomy mentor . . . ) Sam . It was lovely - held at a country club with gorgeous scenery surrounding us , on a day with blue sky and sunshine . It was amazing to see the bride and groom , and to see his grown sons and the wonderful young men they have become . I did some snapshots here and there , but it was when we took a walk in the evening and looked back at the tent , with the reception going on inside , that I decided that this was the shot . I just love the colors and the lines of the tent - sort of ghostly , almost in the dusk . A beautiful photograph on a beautiful day . We are in Saratoga Springs for a wedding , and I have been wandering all over the place with my camera , and have a bushel basket of photographs so far , and it is only day one ! This is good news . I spent several hours in Saratoga Spa State Park , which , as you will come to see , is an astounding and beautiful place . On the way out I stumbled across this site . It is called Geyser Island Spouter . Like many of the springs around the area , there are " spouters " that are springs spurting out of the ground . In this case , as I understand it , the water from the spring contains carbonate materials , and after shooting out of the ground , the minerals precipitate where the water falls down , and this amazing formation results after millions of years . It appears to be a rock , but is far too smooth , and when you see it from across the creek , you can see how it was formed . It is an astounding thing to come across unexpectedly . I have posted a larger than normal file - please click on it to see more detail . This is funny - I just noticed that the shadows in this photograph include a plant that at first glance looks like a fern ! It is not . I , of course , have no idea what kind of plant it is . I noticed the shadows on the dining room wall , from the sunlight shining in the kitchen window , and the image stopped me in my tracks . At this time of year the sun has moved further north when it sets , giving this perfect alignment . What you are seeing are the shadows of the blinds in the windows , and a mobile made from pieces of glass hanging in the window over the plant , and the shadow of a chair back in the dining room . " Fern Week 7 " - Wow , that means that Fern Week is drawing to a close . Are you tired of ferns yet ? I think I may be . . . This is the last photo showing the underside of a frond . I don 't see anything in particular under the individual parts of the frond , but I was amazed to see how hairy the stalk and branches are . A lot of this depends on the lighting , but it really stands out here . Please click on it to see it in a larger size , which enables you to see more detail . Two friends both suggested photographing one of the fronds , from underneath . Thanks Sam and Ginger ! I am not sure what I am supposed to find underneath , but it seemed like a good idea . I tried a couple of things - neither of which involved diving into the center of the bed of ferns to photograph . I picked a frond , and fastened it to a small light stand so I could move around it more easily , and change the light that I put it in . When I had finished doing that , I extended the lightstand so the frond was against the sky . Wow , that looks different ! So here it is . At least this photograph is significantly different than all the other images . I saw the sunlight on the front lawn , illuminating the grass , and the ferns as well . So since ferns are in the picture , I figured that it would make the grade for Fern Week . But the photo is all about the light , of course . Ferns are in the picture , but the picture is really about the way the sun and shadows cover the lawn . OK , here I am at Day 4 of " Fern Week . " This semi - brilliant idea may not make it past day 5 ! This is harder than I thought , and I am finding that there is more similarity to the photographs than I first thought . So this means I will have to work harder , or give up Fern Week a couple of days earlier than I first thought ! I have learned that when it is overcast , it is MUCH harder to take interesting photographs . Direct sunlight , as in this photograph , makes more dramatic images , in my opinion . So here is my third photo for " Fern Week . " This was the scene that caught my eye when I went down the driveway after the rainstorm , and the sun had come out . A shaft of sunlight was shining on this patch of ferns under the Japanese Maple tree . It didn 't last long , but I had enough time to try some slightly different angles . On the front bank it is wall - to - wall ferns but here there are other textures like this ivy under the tree that adds a little more interest . This looks better when you click on it and can see it in a larger size . Oh , I mean " Fern Week . " I don 't even know what " Shark Week " is , but Craig Ferguson is always talking about it . Must be something on cable TV . I ain 't got no cable . Anyhow , it rained some this afternoon , and then the sun came out . I noticed a shaft of light on a small grouping of ferns under the Japanese maple tree , then I noticed long shadows on the front lawn , and the ferns I photographed yesterday were backlit . So I set to work seeing what I could find . It seems there were interesting compositions everywhere . So I decided to try having " Fern Week " this week . Like " Shark Week " only different . I swill see how many different fern photos I can take . This photo was taken yesterday , and it was not raining . I choose this one because it is so dramatically different from yesterday 's post . The ferns are up ! It has been raining all week , and it seems as if the ferns on the front bank have exploded from the ground . A week ago there was evidence of a few wispy ferns emerging from the ground . When I went to get the mail today , I think it was the aroma of them that caught my attention . It is a very distinctive smell , and I enjoy it each spring . I did a couple of different views of the ferns . This one is more of a pattern shot . Maybe I will post the other one - it is so different . I do love the texture of this picture . Please click on it to see more detail in the larger image - it is a lot more interesting in a larger size . I will post this one picture , and then get back to more recent photographs . In May of 1974 I had an assignment to photograph Salvador Dali . He was onboard the SS France , about to set sail from the west side of Manhattan , for Europe . The writer and I were ushered into a stateroom , which turned out to be packed with people . Oh man , what a place to have to set up a strobe light and photograph . It had the feel of a circus , but Dali appeared to be having fun , with all the attention . I have photographed a lot of celebrities , but I was in disbelief that I was in the presence of Salvador Dali ! We all know his painting " The Persistence of Memory " which some call " The Melting Watches . " I remember how I was moved when I saw that painting for the first time at the Museum of Modern Art on a high school class trip , and here I was years later crouching at the master 's feet photographing him ! Sometimes life can be amazing . Please bear with me here - these photographs of Joan , Betsey , and Karen were unearthed with the transparency of the oyster boats from yesterday . I am mainly posting these images to surprise my sisters ! They have no idea - I can 't wait to hear of their surprise when they find themselves here in the morning . It makes me smile to think about it . I have no recollection of taking these pictures . But when I was a photographer as a kid , I photographed everything . These are color transparencies that have been scanned to make digital images . I love how cute and how beautiful they all are . I was absolutely blown away to find these . Another family treasure ! I stumbled across some old color transparencies from the mid - 1950 's , which would have been just about the time I began High School . I was thrilled to find one photograph of these oyster boats . When I was a kid , there were oyster boats that operated in Long Island Sound and that were berthed in Milford , Connecticut . I was fascinated by these rust stained white wooden boats . On some days I would ride my bicycle down to the harbor after school , and at 3 : 30 every afternoon , the oyster boats would return to their docks across the harbor where they unloaded . I have kept my eyes open for any photographs I might have taken of these boats , but never found any - until today , that is , and I am thrilled to have this reminder of something from so long ago . I posted a larger file than normal - click on the picture to see the boats in more detail . There is something wonderful about blue sky , sunshine , and sand . I am drawn to this so - probably because of a lack of sunshine earlier this Spring . Anyhow , I spent some time photographing this from different directions , so that I could see it in different kinds of light . Interesting that this object drew me in so powerfully . One difficult decision involved the fact that there were two of these near each other . I have a nice photograph of the two objects in the same image , but chose this single one as better . So I needed to come up with a title , and thought of " monolith . " I went to Wikipedia and looked for synonyms and discovered that this is not a monolith ! There are very specific qualities for each kind of object , and the name that fit this one most clearly , is " Menhir . " It feels as if I am displaying an affect to even use the term , but it is the correct and specific name for this . Well , sort of . A menhir is defined as is a large upright standing stone . Menhirs may be found singly as monoliths , or as part of a group of similar stones . Their size can vary considerably ; but their shape is generally uneven and squared , often tapering towards the top . Sounds correct , except for one thing - this is a piece of driftwood , rather than stone . But it sure looks like stone , doesn 't it ? I have climbed to the top of the Montauk Lighthouse a number of times , both to photograph and just to visit . I don 't ever remember seeing this window before . The lighthouse itself is made from a layer of stone on the outside and many layers of brick on the inside . The stone handles the weathering better that just the brick would - this lighthouse is so old , that its construction was authorized by George Washington , I kid you not ! Anyhow , on top of all that masonry , there is a cast - iron top , which contains the windowed " lamp room " containing the light , and another room underneath with the machinery to rotate the light . Anyhow , just below that lower room , on the circular stairway that runs from the ground up , is this cast - iron porthole . I just caught sight of it , and was intrigued by it . It is just kind of mysterious , and I love that the outer porthole is perfectly bisected by the horizon line , with sky and water . When I was in Montauk two weeks ago , I saw this bleached log that someone had stuck into these large boulders that are part of the erosion control system at the point . Only thing is , it was sticking straight up . I thought it was interesting , and began shooting it immediately . I thought I had a good shot , but hadn 't got around to posting it . Then last week , when I was back in Montauk , and at the same spot , the log was horizontal ! I have no idea how it got that way , but it grabbed me immediately . It was a MUCH better photograph ! I think that 's because it adds a dramatic horizontal element , that mirrors the other horizontal parts of the image . When I took it , I thought it was good , but it was only when I got it on my computer that I realized that this may be the best photograph that I have taken so far this year . So I showed you my " creative " lighthouse , with the brambles , then a classic shot , showing the lighthouse in its surroundings . That shot makes for a wonderful landscape photograph , but it is more about the location , that it is about the structures . So this is my third version of the Montauk Light . It is about the architecture , and the structures of the buildings , rather than the location . I should also add that I was really lucky to be photographing on this particular day . Clear blue sky is actually kind of boring in some landscape photographs . Having a complex cloud structure in the sky can make photographs far more interesting , as it does here . The other day I spoke of trying to photograph Montauk Light in a different way , and shot through brambles . Great for testing the creativity , but not as interesting a photograph , perhaps . So this is one of two other views I did of the lighthouse , after I shot the brambles . It is one of the classic views , but in order to do it , you need to know that this vantage point exists - up on the bluff west of the lighthouse , and then you need to claw your way through brush and brambles - the trails are not well known or used . Then you move out toward the cliff , being careful to not get too close to the edge - the cliffs in this area are undermined from erosion . Then you take the photographs , and fight your way back to level ground , and then you look for ticks ! I found three , after carefully checking , and I went over each piece of clothing several times . But guess what - it was WORTH it . Isn 't this a beautiful view ? NOTE : BLOGGER HAS BEEN OUT OF SERVICE FOR NEARLY A WHOLE DAY BECAUSE OF TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES . That 's why this post is so late . Thanks to those of you who emailed to ask if I was OK . This is a photograph of the Montauk Lighthouse . Yeah I know . But it is . I have photographed this structure many times over the years . As I got out of my car , I saw these brambles at the edge of the parking lot . I started wondering what it would look like if I crouched down so that the branches covered the lighthouse . I experimented for a while with variations , and liked this one best . But why would I do a photograph of the Montauk Lighthouse like this - you can hardly see the subject of the picture ? Well I did it , because I am always thinking about trying to see subjects in new ways . I am not very good at actually accomplishing this , but I think about it a lot . This time I came up with something . I mean , if someone gave me an assignment to shoot Montauk Light , I wouldn 't do this . I also photographed the light in traditional ways . I will show you those pictures in the next couple of days . You won 't be disapointed . We 're out in Montauk , which is one of Amy 's most magical and favorite places in the world . She loves to come here to write , and soak up the ocean and salt air , all the way out at the end of Long Island . Late this afternoon we drove over to Ditch Plains which is a relatively small beach , famous for its surfing , when conditions are right . We walked along the beach , and of course I was leading the way , walking backwards , photographing all the way . I do that , walking backwards , a lot . You can draw all kinds of conclusions about me from that fact . I love the moment I captured here - blue sky , sunshine , the Atlantic Ocean , and Amy in her element . We headed back from Rochester early this morning , under blue skies , sunshine , and puffy white clouds all the way to the horizon . OK , I know they are Cumulus clouds . I thought " puffy white " was more poetic . It was an incredible day - it has been years since we have been upstate in early spring . There were so many shades of light green everywhere , and farm fields full of dandelions in brilliant yellow . It was a charmed day , beautiful wherever I looked , and I was drinking it all in . But we were in a hurry , so here is another photograph through the windshield - and another of my lame excuses . . . It has been a couple of exhausting days , with the baby shower and visiting family and friends , and Mother 's day . People to go see here and there , and visitors in the house . Tonight the men of the house prepared dinner for the women - we were awesome ! : - ) Anyhow , this is Pat , the father of the baby - to - be after a long day , taking a nap with their dog Liberty , after supper tonight . Libby looks quite content . Pat is pretty savvy when it comes to being around me when I am in my photographer mode . After two clicks , he turned his head toward me and smiled . I was busted ! But I got my shot . There was a baby shower today for Bethany and Pat . A wonderful family affair , that was a bit different for me , because the guys were invited . I wonder how common it is to include the menfolk ? In any case it was really nice , both to celebrate the coming arrival of their baby , and because it was a giant family gathering where we got to spend time with people we haven 't seen in a long time . I took a lot of photographs , and strangely enough , do not remember taking this one . There was only one frame of this moment . But it was a good frame ! My friend John and I took a quick visit to an art gallery to look at some photographs , and of course we needed to do a shot of the two of us together . We met at RIT back in 1963 when we were students together , and in the 48 years we have known each other , whenever we get together , we take a photograph of the two of us together . Sometimes it is in a photo studio , sometimes it is with John 's airplane , or just sitting on a rock together . Anyhow , I set up the camera with a self timer in the gallery , and we posed together for a shot . Only thing was , I had no idea that the self timer was going to take three photos ! Here they are ! You can click on this to see a larger view of the three images . All or nothing . Funny how that works in terms of how to photograph a scene . In this case , it is Taughannock Falls , in Trumansburg , NY . I have photographed this before and posted it , but because it was spring , and because there have been heavy rains for the last week I decided to stop and see how it looked with a lot of water coming over the precipice . I was not disappointed . But when I included the entire waterfall , it looked kind of ordinary , in some way . If I showed the waterfall , and the river below and part of the gorge as well , it was interesting , but the waterfall lost all of its grandeur - it looked like part of a small stream . But when I cropped into the falls , and showed only part of it , and included some of the interesting formations in the rocks , then it appeared to grow in power . And as you can see , it became a bit mysterious as well , because you can 't see all of it . So sometimes less of an object may be more . I like this photograph a lot , now that I finally figured out how to see it properly . It is amazing to me that after all these years , EVERY spring I am astounded all over again , at how brilliant the greens are ! It has been raining most of the day , and when I went outside , I spotted these ferns growing under the Japanese maple tree . It was overcast , and misty , and so the light was really soft . Colors are always more intense on rainy days , and the saturation of the greens was just stunning . The Japanese maple was green as well , but there was something about the ferns - perhaps because they were isolated and surrounded by the wet brown earth that made them jump out and grab my attention . My fear is that on the web the colors shown won 't even come close to being as rich as what I saw in real life . I promised no more New York City photographs , and I am delivering here , with this shot from Montauk . This is a garden at Gosman 's Dock . I love the combination of things here - the old wood , the rusted anchor , and the beautiful flowers . I should also mention that at one point I * thought * I knew what these are , but then I checked and I was wrong . So I continue to bat 1000 by not knowing the names of ANY flowers . Anyhow I hope you love the garden . OK , this will be my last post from Manhattan , I promise . Most photographs of the Brooklyn Bridge are shot looking along the roadway and pedestrian walkways . From the South Street Seaport , I saw this view from the side . What I like about this is that it shows the complex arrangement of Suspender cables , both vertically and diagonally . The arrangement of all these wire cables is what gives the Brooklyn Bridge its distinctive beauty . The story behind the cables is really interesting . It turns out that the wire cables supplied were of poor quality . By the time they discovered that , it was too late to change them , so to be safe , they added diagonal cables from the towers to the deck in order to stiffen the bridge . It turns out they were unnecessary , but they were kept for their beauty . Please click on this image to see it in more detail . It is much easier to find photographs when I visit new places . So that explains why I am still showing you photographs from the trip to New York City a week ago . We walked over to the construction site where the World Trade Center was . You can 't look directly into the construction site , but you can go around to the west side and look out the windows of the World Financial Center into the site . We did that , and then I turned around and looked in the other direction , toward the Hudson River , and saw this scene . It was the polished floor that made this . The buildings you can see out the window are in Jersey City , across the Hudson River . OK you are going to look at this post and think that I am loosing it ! I went out east to Custer Institute last night to do some observing , and got home at 3 AM - that 's why this post is late . I was trying out a new device I have called an " Astro Trac " which attaches to a tripod , and you put a camera on it , and it will allow the camera to follow the stars for long exposures . The part of the sky in this photograph is called " The Realm of the Galaxies . " Even in a modest amateur telescope you can see galaxy after galaxy , side by side . It is an amazing experience . OK , so here is the weird part - you can 't SEE any galaxies in this photo ! Duh ! Please click on this though , and it will open in a larger window so you can see a sky full of stars . At the top center of the photo is an open cluster of stars called " Coma Bernices " which translates to " Bernice 's Hair . " The Realm of Galaxies and Coma are both seen behind the tail end of the constellation Leo " The Lion . " The three stars making up the right triangle to the right center of the photo make up the rear end of Leo .
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It may be work , it may be play , it may be near , it may be away . So here is the challenge - to shoot and post one photograph a day on this site . These photographs are a kind of diary of things I find interesting . I am also thinking that there will be days when I am unable to shoot , so on those infrequent occasions , I will post a photograph done on another day , but one that still feels important to me . - Ken Spencer I was out drinking the other night , and saw this scene behind the bar . Just kidding ! What really happened was that while walking down the main drag in Saratoga Springs , around lunchtime , there was a sign in front of a restaurant : " Best Burgers in town . " So we thought , " What the heck - let 's give them a try . " While sitting in a booth , and looking around waiting for food to arrive , I spotted this dramatically lit scene behind the bar . Click ! I just love the richness of the electric blue . Really stunning architectural design . Oh , I nearly forgot . . . The burgers were absolutely delicious ! I drove back home from Saratoga Springs this morning . We arrived about noon . After unpacking I realized that it was Memorial Day , so I went to the closet and got out our American Flag . It was then that I realized I missed the Sea Cliff Memorial Day parade ! I have probably attended every Memorial Day parade for the last 20 years . I didn 't used to go every year , but read an article by a friend years ago about his growing up in Maine , and the meaning and importance of the parade to him . After that , I have gone every year . Sorry I missed it this year . The reason we came to Saratoga Springs is for the wedding of the son of my good friend ( and astronomy mentor . . . ) Sam . It was lovely - held at a country club with gorgeous scenery surrounding us , on a day with blue sky and sunshine . It was amazing to see the bride and groom , and to see his grown sons and the wonderful young men they have become . I did some snapshots here and there , but it was when we took a walk in the evening and looked back at the tent , with the reception going on inside , that I decided that this was the shot . I just love the colors and the lines of the tent - sort of ghostly , almost in the dusk . A beautiful photograph on a beautiful day . We are in Saratoga Springs for a wedding , and I have been wandering all over the place with my camera , and have a bushel basket of photographs so far , and it is only day one ! This is good news . I spent several hours in Saratoga Spa State Park , which , as you will come to see , is an astounding and beautiful place . On the way out I stumbled across this site . It is called Geyser Island Spouter . Like many of the springs around the area , there are " spouters " that are springs spurting out of the ground . In this case , as I understand it , the water from the spring contains carbonate materials , and after shooting out of the ground , the minerals precipitate where the water falls down , and this amazing formation results after millions of years . It appears to be a rock , but is far too smooth , and when you see it from across the creek , you can see how it was formed . It is an astounding thing to come across unexpectedly . I have posted a larger than normal file - please click on it to see more detail . This is funny - I just noticed that the shadows in this photograph include a plant that at first glance looks like a fern ! It is not . I , of course , have no idea what kind of plant it is . I noticed the shadows on the dining room wall , from the sunlight shining in the kitchen window , and the image stopped me in my tracks . At this time of year the sun has moved further north when it sets , giving this perfect alignment . What you are seeing are the shadows of the blinds in the windows , and a mobile made from pieces of glass hanging in the window over the plant , and the shadow of a chair back in the dining room . " Fern Week 7 " - Wow , that means that Fern Week is drawing to a close . Are you tired of ferns yet ? I think I may be . . . This is the last photo showing the underside of a frond . I don 't see anything in particular under the individual parts of the frond , but I was amazed to see how hairy the stalk and branches are . A lot of this depends on the lighting , but it really stands out here . Please click on it to see it in a larger size , which enables you to see more detail . Two friends both suggested photographing one of the fronds , from underneath . Thanks Sam and Ginger ! I am not sure what I am supposed to find underneath , but it seemed like a good idea . I tried a couple of things - neither of which involved diving into the center of the bed of ferns to photograph . I picked a frond , and fastened it to a small light stand so I could move around it more easily , and change the light that I put it in . When I had finished doing that , I extended the lightstand so the frond was against the sky . Wow , that looks different ! So here it is . At least this photograph is significantly different than all the other images . I saw the sunlight on the front lawn , illuminating the grass , and the ferns as well . So since ferns are in the picture , I figured that it would make the grade for Fern Week . But the photo is all about the light , of course . Ferns are in the picture , but the picture is really about the way the sun and shadows cover the lawn . OK , here I am at Day 4 of " Fern Week . " This semi - brilliant idea may not make it past day 5 ! This is harder than I thought , and I am finding that there is more similarity to the photographs than I first thought . So this means I will have to work harder , or give up Fern Week a couple of days earlier than I first thought ! I have learned that when it is overcast , it is MUCH harder to take interesting photographs . Direct sunlight , as in this photograph , makes more dramatic images , in my opinion . So here is my third photo for " Fern Week . " This was the scene that caught my eye when I went down the driveway after the rainstorm , and the sun had come out . A shaft of sunlight was shining on this patch of ferns under the Japanese Maple tree . It didn 't last long , but I had enough time to try some slightly different angles . On the front bank it is wall - to - wall ferns but here there are other textures like this ivy under the tree that adds a little more interest . This looks better when you click on it and can see it in a larger size . Oh , I mean " Fern Week . " I don 't even know what " Shark Week " is , but Craig Ferguson is always talking about it . Must be something on cable TV . I ain 't got no cable . Anyhow , it rained some this afternoon , and then the sun came out . I noticed a shaft of light on a small grouping of ferns under the Japanese maple tree , then I noticed long shadows on the front lawn , and the ferns I photographed yesterday were backlit . So I set to work seeing what I could find . It seems there were interesting compositions everywhere . So I decided to try having " Fern Week " this week . Like " Shark Week " only different . I swill see how many different fern photos I can take . This photo was taken yesterday , and it was not raining . I choose this one because it is so dramatically different from yesterday 's post . The ferns are up ! It has been raining all week , and it seems as if the ferns on the front bank have exploded from the ground . A week ago there was evidence of a few wispy ferns emerging from the ground . When I went to get the mail today , I think it was the aroma of them that caught my attention . It is a very distinctive smell , and I enjoy it each spring . I did a couple of different views of the ferns . This one is more of a pattern shot . Maybe I will post the other one - it is so different . I do love the texture of this picture . Please click on it to see more detail in the larger image - it is a lot more interesting in a larger size . I will post this one picture , and then get back to more recent photographs . In May of 1974 I had an assignment to photograph Salvador Dali . He was onboard the SS France , about to set sail from the west side of Manhattan , for Europe . The writer and I were ushered into a stateroom , which turned out to be packed with people . Oh man , what a place to have to set up a strobe light and photograph . It had the feel of a circus , but Dali appeared to be having fun , with all the attention . I have photographed a lot of celebrities , but I was in disbelief that I was in the presence of Salvador Dali ! We all know his painting " The Persistence of Memory " which some call " The Melting Watches . " I remember how I was moved when I saw that painting for the first time at the Museum of Modern Art on a high school class trip , and here I was years later crouching at the master 's feet photographing him ! Sometimes life can be amazing . Please bear with me here - these photographs of Joan , Betsey , and Karen were unearthed with the transparency of the oyster boats from yesterday . I am mainly posting these images to surprise my sisters ! They have no idea - I can 't wait to hear of their surprise when they find themselves here in the morning . It makes me smile to think about it . I have no recollection of taking these pictures . But when I was a photographer as a kid , I photographed everything . These are color transparencies that have been scanned to make digital images . I love how cute and how beautiful they all are . I was absolutely blown away to find these . Another family treasure ! I stumbled across some old color transparencies from the mid - 1950 's , which would have been just about the time I began High School . I was thrilled to find one photograph of these oyster boats . When I was a kid , there were oyster boats that operated in Long Island Sound and that were berthed in Milford , Connecticut . I was fascinated by these rust stained white wooden boats . On some days I would ride my bicycle down to the harbor after school , and at 3 : 30 every afternoon , the oyster boats would return to their docks across the harbor where they unloaded . I have kept my eyes open for any photographs I might have taken of these boats , but never found any - until today , that is , and I am thrilled to have this reminder of something from so long ago . I posted a larger file than normal - click on the picture to see the boats in more detail . There is something wonderful about blue sky , sunshine , and sand . I am drawn to this so - probably because of a lack of sunshine earlier this Spring . Anyhow , I spent some time photographing this from different directions , so that I could see it in different kinds of light . Interesting that this object drew me in so powerfully . One difficult decision involved the fact that there were two of these near each other . I have a nice photograph of the two objects in the same image , but chose this single one as better . So I needed to come up with a title , and thought of " monolith . " I went to Wikipedia and looked for synonyms and discovered that this is not a monolith ! There are very specific qualities for each kind of object , and the name that fit this one most clearly , is " Menhir . " It feels as if I am displaying an affect to even use the term , but it is the correct and specific name for this . Well , sort of . A menhir is defined as is a large upright standing stone . Menhirs may be found singly as monoliths , or as part of a group of similar stones . Their size can vary considerably ; but their shape is generally uneven and squared , often tapering towards the top . Sounds correct , except for one thing - this is a piece of driftwood , rather than stone . But it sure looks like stone , doesn 't it ? I have climbed to the top of the Montauk Lighthouse a number of times , both to photograph and just to visit . I don 't ever remember seeing this window before . The lighthouse itself is made from a layer of stone on the outside and many layers of brick on the inside . The stone handles the weathering better that just the brick would - this lighthouse is so old , that its construction was authorized by George Washington , I kid you not ! Anyhow , on top of all that masonry , there is a cast - iron top , which contains the windowed " lamp room " containing the light , and another room underneath with the machinery to rotate the light . Anyhow , just below that lower room , on the circular stairway that runs from the ground up , is this cast - iron porthole . I just caught sight of it , and was intrigued by it . It is just kind of mysterious , and I love that the outer porthole is perfectly bisected by the horizon line , with sky and water . When I was in Montauk two weeks ago , I saw this bleached log that someone had stuck into these large boulders that are part of the erosion control system at the point . Only thing is , it was sticking straight up . I thought it was interesting , and began shooting it immediately . I thought I had a good shot , but hadn 't got around to posting it . Then last week , when I was back in Montauk , and at the same spot , the log was horizontal ! I have no idea how it got that way , but it grabbed me immediately . It was a MUCH better photograph ! I think that 's because it adds a dramatic horizontal element , that mirrors the other horizontal parts of the image . When I took it , I thought it was good , but it was only when I got it on my computer that I realized that this may be the best photograph that I have taken so far this year . So I showed you my " creative " lighthouse , with the brambles , then a classic shot , showing the lighthouse in its surroundings . That shot makes for a wonderful landscape photograph , but it is more about the location , that it is about the structures . So this is my third version of the Montauk Light . It is about the architecture , and the structures of the buildings , rather than the location . I should also add that I was really lucky to be photographing on this particular day . Clear blue sky is actually kind of boring in some landscape photographs . Having a complex cloud structure in the sky can make photographs far more interesting , as it does here . The other day I spoke of trying to photograph Montauk Light in a different way , and shot through brambles . Great for testing the creativity , but not as interesting a photograph , perhaps . So this is one of two other views I did of the lighthouse , after I shot the brambles . It is one of the classic views , but in order to do it , you need to know that this vantage point exists - up on the bluff west of the lighthouse , and then you need to claw your way through brush and brambles - the trails are not well known or used . Then you move out toward the cliff , being careful to not get too close to the edge - the cliffs in this area are undermined from erosion . Then you take the photographs , and fight your way back to level ground , and then you look for ticks ! I found three , after carefully checking , and I went over each piece of clothing several times . But guess what - it was WORTH it . Isn 't this a beautiful view ? NOTE : BLOGGER HAS BEEN OUT OF SERVICE FOR NEARLY A WHOLE DAY BECAUSE OF TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES . That 's why this post is so late . Thanks to those of you who emailed to ask if I was OK . This is a photograph of the Montauk Lighthouse . Yeah I know . But it is . I have photographed this structure many times over the years . As I got out of my car , I saw these brambles at the edge of the parking lot . I started wondering what it would look like if I crouched down so that the branches covered the lighthouse . I experimented for a while with variations , and liked this one best . But why would I do a photograph of the Montauk Lighthouse like this - you can hardly see the subject of the picture ? Well I did it , because I am always thinking about trying to see subjects in new ways . I am not very good at actually accomplishing this , but I think about it a lot . This time I came up with something . I mean , if someone gave me an assignment to shoot Montauk Light , I wouldn 't do this . I also photographed the light in traditional ways . I will show you those pictures in the next couple of days . You won 't be disapointed . We 're out in Montauk , which is one of Amy 's most magical and favorite places in the world . She loves to come here to write , and soak up the ocean and salt air , all the way out at the end of Long Island . Late this afternoon we drove over to Ditch Plains which is a relatively small beach , famous for its surfing , when conditions are right . We walked along the beach , and of course I was leading the way , walking backwards , photographing all the way . I do that , walking backwards , a lot . You can draw all kinds of conclusions about me from that fact . I love the moment I captured here - blue sky , sunshine , the Atlantic Ocean , and Amy in her element . We headed back from Rochester early this morning , under blue skies , sunshine , and puffy white clouds all the way to the horizon . OK , I know they are Cumulus clouds . I thought " puffy white " was more poetic . It was an incredible day - it has been years since we have been upstate in early spring . There were so many shades of light green everywhere , and farm fields full of dandelions in brilliant yellow . It was a charmed day , beautiful wherever I looked , and I was drinking it all in . But we were in a hurry , so here is another photograph through the windshield - and another of my lame excuses . . . It has been a couple of exhausting days , with the baby shower and visiting family and friends , and Mother 's day . People to go see here and there , and visitors in the house . Tonight the men of the house prepared dinner for the women - we were awesome ! : - ) Anyhow , this is Pat , the father of the baby - to - be after a long day , taking a nap with their dog Liberty , after supper tonight . Libby looks quite content . Pat is pretty savvy when it comes to being around me when I am in my photographer mode . After two clicks , he turned his head toward me and smiled . I was busted ! But I got my shot . There was a baby shower today for Bethany and Pat . A wonderful family affair , that was a bit different for me , because the guys were invited . I wonder how common it is to include the menfolk ? In any case it was really nice , both to celebrate the coming arrival of their baby , and because it was a giant family gathering where we got to spend time with people we haven 't seen in a long time . I took a lot of photographs , and strangely enough , do not remember taking this one . There was only one frame of this moment . But it was a good frame ! My friend John and I took a quick visit to an art gallery to look at some photographs , and of course we needed to do a shot of the two of us together . We met at RIT back in 1963 when we were students together , and in the 48 years we have known each other , whenever we get together , we take a photograph of the two of us together . Sometimes it is in a photo studio , sometimes it is with John 's airplane , or just sitting on a rock together . Anyhow , I set up the camera with a self timer in the gallery , and we posed together for a shot . Only thing was , I had no idea that the self timer was going to take three photos ! Here they are ! You can click on this to see a larger view of the three images . All or nothing . Funny how that works in terms of how to photograph a scene . In this case , it is Taughannock Falls , in Trumansburg , NY . I have photographed this before and posted it , but because it was spring , and because there have been heavy rains for the last week I decided to stop and see how it looked with a lot of water coming over the precipice . I was not disappointed . But when I included the entire waterfall , it looked kind of ordinary , in some way . If I showed the waterfall , and the river below and part of the gorge as well , it was interesting , but the waterfall lost all of its grandeur - it looked like part of a small stream . But when I cropped into the falls , and showed only part of it , and included some of the interesting formations in the rocks , then it appeared to grow in power . And as you can see , it became a bit mysterious as well , because you can 't see all of it . So sometimes less of an object may be more . I like this photograph a lot , now that I finally figured out how to see it properly . It is amazing to me that after all these years , EVERY spring I am astounded all over again , at how brilliant the greens are ! It has been raining most of the day , and when I went outside , I spotted these ferns growing under the Japanese maple tree . It was overcast , and misty , and so the light was really soft . Colors are always more intense on rainy days , and the saturation of the greens was just stunning . The Japanese maple was green as well , but there was something about the ferns - perhaps because they were isolated and surrounded by the wet brown earth that made them jump out and grab my attention . My fear is that on the web the colors shown won 't even come close to being as rich as what I saw in real life . I promised no more New York City photographs , and I am delivering here , with this shot from Montauk . This is a garden at Gosman 's Dock . I love the combination of things here - the old wood , the rusted anchor , and the beautiful flowers . I should also mention that at one point I * thought * I knew what these are , but then I checked and I was wrong . So I continue to bat 1000 by not knowing the names of ANY flowers . Anyhow I hope you love the garden . OK , this will be my last post from Manhattan , I promise . Most photographs of the Brooklyn Bridge are shot looking along the roadway and pedestrian walkways . From the South Street Seaport , I saw this view from the side . What I like about this is that it shows the complex arrangement of Suspender cables , both vertically and diagonally . The arrangement of all these wire cables is what gives the Brooklyn Bridge its distinctive beauty . The story behind the cables is really interesting . It turns out that the wire cables supplied were of poor quality . By the time they discovered that , it was too late to change them , so to be safe , they added diagonal cables from the towers to the deck in order to stiffen the bridge . It turns out they were unnecessary , but they were kept for their beauty . Please click on this image to see it in more detail . It is much easier to find photographs when I visit new places . So that explains why I am still showing you photographs from the trip to New York City a week ago . We walked over to the construction site where the World Trade Center was . You can 't look directly into the construction site , but you can go around to the west side and look out the windows of the World Financial Center into the site . We did that , and then I turned around and looked in the other direction , toward the Hudson River , and saw this scene . It was the polished floor that made this . The buildings you can see out the window are in Jersey City , across the Hudson River . OK you are going to look at this post and think that I am loosing it ! I went out east to Custer Institute last night to do some observing , and got home at 3 AM - that 's why this post is late . I was trying out a new device I have called an " Astro Trac " which attaches to a tripod , and you put a camera on it , and it will allow the camera to follow the stars for long exposures . The part of the sky in this photograph is called " The Realm of the Galaxies . " Even in a modest amateur telescope you can see galaxy after galaxy , side by side . It is an amazing experience . OK , so here is the weird part - you can 't SEE any galaxies in this photo ! Duh ! Please click on this though , and it will open in a larger window so you can see a sky full of stars . At the top center of the photo is an open cluster of stars called " Coma Bernices " which translates to " Bernice 's Hair . " The Realm of Galaxies and Coma are both seen behind the tail end of the constellation Leo " The Lion . " The three stars making up the right triangle to the right center of the photo make up the rear end of Leo .
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Nia means Purpose " To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness . " So actually I was rereading the prior year 's post . What hit home so much is how much we 've changed within a year 's time . Before he valued me , loved me , respected me and gave me purpose . He gave me the want to want to be a better woman . What 's crazy . Within a year it dwindled down to nothing . He turned into a whole different person . While I was trying o love him with all my heart . I was losing sight on my own purpose and slowly was losing control and couldn 't figure out how to get back on the track . While this all was happening . He was losing and missing out on my purpose , on why I mattered , on how much I used to mean to him . That hurts to see that happen . He wanted to throw away my purpose that I worked so hard for and rebuild it to something he found more appeasing to him . That 's not how it works . That 's now how it SHOULD work . When I say purpose I don 't mean he 's a man he can mow the lawn . Or I 'm the woman and I can make his dinner . No . it 's that purpose when the world is going all types and level of wrong and just thinking about him or seeing him makes it alright . His hugs and kisses make things better . His affection fills me up with joy . He makes me want to be a better woman . He makes me want our relationship to work , thrive and become something beautiful . It 's that kind of purpose . And we 've lost it at some point . Whether by miscommunication , time not spent or what have you . It 's so hard to catch up and try to get it back . I 'll be honest and say I miss it a lot . I miss telling him good morning and to have a good day . I miss those love notes he used to write me . I miss hugs and kisses I miss all of that . And to fall out of love with someone you love so much is so fucking hard . Like its frustrating as hell . But it 's like nothing I say or do can change who he 's become . However I hope that once this is all said done . Maybe one day he can remember my purposcomments Kuumba means Creativity " To do always as much as we can , in the way we can , in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it . " As with a lot of relationships after a while of being together you guys lose sight on creativity within the relationship . Yeah it can get boring and stale and will even drag on and feel like a boring routine . But you 've got to be creative and do things you 've never done before to keep it exciting . My boyfriend was fun in the beginning and we had a blast ! But then we got comfortable and that comfortability turned to boredom . We just sat around each other just to be sitting around each other . We didn 't work on changing things . Then it got to the point he didn 't want to do anything . No outings or dates . No more watching movies or TV together . It was just I ' mma sit here and watch football games all day and you 're gonna sit here with me and enjoy it . Well I don 't want to . I like sports but I don 't want to spend the whole day watching football games all day long . Maybe for an hour or two or let 's watch a movie or something else . I even get turned off when he says oh you 're making me miss the game . No I 'm not . So I go upstairs to watch tv here he comes and it 's like this back and forth I gotta do what you think is fun . Ok and I will but not excessively to the point I 'm bored and can 't entertain myself in another activity . Here 's the gist ! It doesn 't have to be expensive date or fancy flowers or even some outrageous declaration of love and affection . It can be a picnic in the park or even an outing to the mall . It 's the effort that counts the most . But it 's like once someone gets comfortable the creativity stops and becomes a boring routine . Honestly I miss his creativity . The random love notes he wrote were the best . It wasn 't Shakespeare but I love them anyway because he cared about me enough to convey those feelings on paper . But it 's like I 'll ask if I need to get flowers to keep me from being mad at him . I want you to do it because you want to . Ncomments Even though this is meant strictly for business and profit within the community . It has some involvement to a relationship . We have to build and maintain our own in order to profit from them together . With a relationship you have to do that to not only keep the love and cherishment strong but to continue to grow as a couple and become more profitable each day . Not in just money but in love , support and family ties . I can say we lack that . I want that . I really do . But I can 't work alone . This is a team effort . Like I said before he can 't even help me out when I need it . Or do things for me when I ask . It 's like he wants me to work with him and it be profitable to him and only him . I shouldn 't want or need the same thing . I guess I should want for nothing . But what bothers me is that he wants to get married and spend the rest of our days together . But all I see is him being uncooperative as my husband . He won 't be able to be my support , to be there for me - I don 't even trust that he could make a sound decision for me if it were LIFE and death and I couldn 't make that decision on my own . I feel we will never be that close or ever reach that point to be a strong team . All because he doesn 't trust me enough and doesn 't love me enough . . . . . he doesn 't care enough . That 's what hurts so much . . . Ujima means Collective Work & Responsibility " To build and maintain our community together and make our brother 's and sister 's problems our problems and to solve them together . " This one is HUGE . Or at least it is to me . I feel like in my relationship my boyfriend lacks this a lot . Now don 't get the wrong idea - I 'm not bashing him . But I 'm pointing out things I 've noticed that bother me that I hope helps someone else figure their relationship or give that missing piece to the puzzle . I 've looked all over the Internet to figure out our problems and nothing . Friends tell me to leave him alone which is what I want to do . And he wants to make it work but we 're stuck in a loophole and can 't seem to get out of it . So with that . He doesn 't take responsibility for his actions . He plays it off . Says it wasn 't him , or I 'm making stuff or I 've mistaken him for another bloke . And I haven 't . But also on the same token I 'm one for blame as well . I didn 't take responsibility to voice how I felt and felt that if I ignored it or do small punishments ( like not talking to him ) that would solve the problem as well . But it didn 't . So unfortunately he still won 't own up to his actions which is going to constantly be an issue for me . And me now voicing how I feel is a problem to him as well . It can be worked on and fixed . But he 's not willing to say oh yeah I messed up or I shouldn 't have said that I 'm sorry - instead of placing the blame on me and getting out of being blamed . Within that relationship flaw . We don 't work together well . I try make his problems my problem and figure out . But he 's not so considerate of me . I remember once a few months back I needed money to park like a few dollars . He told me no and to not buy lunch . I told him I don 't have enough money to park let alone to buy lunch . And he says not his problem . Then there 's riding my car until it 's empty and refuses to fill it up . But when he would ride me around I always gave him $ 20 or $ 40 . Because I know that 's a cost and it 's expensive . But I don 't get the same consicomments Kujichagulia means Self Determination . " To define ourselves , name ourselves , create for ourselves , and speak for ourselves . " I think a lot of times in a relationship the sense of self goes to the back burner . Then being too self aware compromises the relationship as well . Here 's what I mean . With my boyfriend I noticed that I was trying so hard to be something he wanted and liked that I for went being myself . Being Bunny . So when he finally saw the real me and saw my ugly side . It wasn 't what he liked . And he was disgusted . And still gets his boxers in a bunch over it . But because I did that short moment of being something else . He got comfortable and used to " her " so to speak . Which is wrong . But he also wanted to fix the " real me " and mold me like play doh and be something I wasn 't comfortable with and if I didn 't speak up when I did about it , we were going o continue to have an issue . However on the same token ; he 's too self aware . It 's like to his disadvantage because he doesn 't want to change or make room for improvements . He 's like something you get on clearance at a store that 's going out of business . You don 't know it 's broken until you get home and open it up the next day . And you can 't take it back or change it and it 's like well you accept it as is , put it in storage somewhere or throw it away . Don 't get me wrong . I love and care about him . But there 's a lot he needs to improve and change as a person to make our relationship work that he 's not willing to do . Because he 's comfortable and he makes it well known you have to accept that . Like getting a new job is something he wants to do but doesn 't because he 's comfortable but complains the job doesn 't pay enough . But knows that with us and the kids more money is needed . No matter what motivation I give to him he doesn 't budge or change or pep up - NOTHING . I 'm fine with him changing when he wants to and feels most comfortable . However in a relationship there 's many changes and we need to continue to build the relationship to something we not only investedcomments So I also came across some tidbits for Kwanzaa and I thought oh hey ! Let 's share this too ! I know there 's a lot of people unsure about Kwanzaa and the whole meaning so I want you all aware of what 's going on too and not be left in the dark or out in left field somewhere . So I hope you like it as much as I do ! 0 So today is the first day of Kwanzaa ( Happy Kwanzaa ! ) and this year what I wanted to do was make this a personal experience like I did a few years ago . This time around it 's going to be based on my encounter with relationships , love and all that other goodness that comes with being in a partnership with someone else . Umoja means Unity ! To strive for and maintain unity in the family , community , nation , and race . Now one thing I 've learned with being in this relationship with my boyfriend of almost 2years is that we lack Unity . Or at least consistent unity . Some days we are unified and other days we aren 't . He thinks it 's all my fault , but I know it 's his fault . Why do you ask ? ? How do I know ? ? Because besides him not telling me where he lives or honestly tell me where he is or what his plans for the days are or this stragglers of text messages here and there and 2 - 3 days later . None of that is me sir . I 'm making the effort to save our relationship and make it work . But I can 't give 100 % for both us and you giving me a - 80 % . It 's not good and it isn 't healthy . What makes it worst is that there 's a poor baby involved . That was created in a unified moment I might add which is now like the worst thing to ever happen to him ( even though he has 3 other kids ; whom I haven 't met ) I might add . Regardless of how he feels I made the choice to keep the baby because I felt my child shouldn 't have two shitty parents . One 's enough . Through this back and forth and arguments all the time - we lost our unity . I doubt we can ever get it back . He still pulls away and no matter how hard I fight to get close to him he pushes me away . " It 's none of my business . " Well ok . I 'm going to fallback . Focus on me and my job . And prepare for my baby . What 's really ironic when I say we need more unity within our relationship , he calls it kissing my ass . No it 's not kissing my ass . I 'm just trying to get along with you . We 've talked on it . Because I told him we needed to break up . It 's not working . I can 't deal with the sneakiness and lies and dishcomments So I just wanted to wish everyone a very Happy Holiday season ! ! And you know me I live for this time of year mostly for Kwanzaa lol . I love the others too . But Kwanzaa means a lot to me . Anyway this year I wanted to be more specific and make this another personal Kwanzaa . Because there 's still a lot of things I want to change or at least promote change in my life and hopefully make a better future . We all have things or even resolutions if you will that we want to implement into our lives to have a better tomorrow , a better year and even a new and improved self as well ! It shouldn 't be a once a year thing . It should be all the time ! There 's always room for improvement and that 's what I 'm aiming to do . Especially since I 'll be heading into my 30s this upcoming year too . So let 's get the celebration on ! ! 0 I can 't sleep so I might well get this off my mind and that might help bring the slumber . So as you all know I love house plants . After my cats killed them all except for two bamboos . I haven 't really done live plants since . Just flowers every now and then . So the last bamboo I had which is 4years old and a trooper ! Is actually at the moment dying . I 've tried everything possible to keep the bamboo alive because it meant the world to me that it was still living and going strong after the kitty tornado wreaked havoc in my house lol . What 's sad is that it 's dying from the middle . The leaves and the rest of the stalk is green and healthy . But the middle is yellowing , browning and dying slowly . Looking at the poor bamboo reminded me of my relationship . I love my boyfriend with all of my heart . He 's my best friend , the love of my life , and means the world to me . But lately , he 's been a real dick to me . He 's hurt me , pushed me away , called me names and disrespected me in so many ways possible that I cannot tolerate it . This past Saturday we had another big fight and he went so far to tear the decorations off my tree and throw them at me . All I could do is stand there watching our relationship die from the inside out and no matter what I did or do I can 't save it anymore . I can 't hold on anymore . And even though he won 't let go . . . . I 've got to . Because holding on will just make matters worse and we both end up unhappy . I don 't want to argue or fight . I don 't want to listen to how I 'm not what he wants and how he needs to fix me . How he 's secretive and dishonest with me . Excuses and bullshit all around . I 'm tired . And I can 't love someone who can 't even be considerate enough to love me enough to not hurt me . His love is like that bamboo . I hate to part with it . And the time I invested into it feels like a waste and I just can 't bring myself to let go . But I know if I continue to hold on to it . . . . it 's going to rot . It can 't be saved or fixed . There 's not enough love or nurture left in me to save something that 's already deacomments Hey kids ! Since I 'm still up thought I jot down a few thoughts for you lol I do want to say Happy December ! ! I hope this is a great month for you guys & dolls . And make it count ! This is the end of 2016 ! So you definitely want to start 2017 off with not only a bang but on a good note . Well as you may or may not know . Me and my boyfriend been fighting off and on . And it 's more than just the trivial coupling . We just don 't mesh anymore like we used to . Anyway the other night I get off work and as I was going home I noticed I need gas for my car . But the little money I had I needed for my bus fare to work . As I drove I thought how nice it would be to have a boyfriend I could ask hey can I borrow $ 10 for gas ? ? I 'll pay you back . But the lord said unto me : Girl you know damn well that motherfucker ain 't going to give you any money . Remember when you needed money to park and he told you that you shouldn 't have brought food to save money ? ? Yeah . He ain 't gonna do shit . But don 't worry baby girl . You know I got you maSo I went home and as I sulked about . I went to get the mail and notice one of the letters I got was a check ! It was only $ 15 but honestly I was so happy and appreciative ! I went and cashed it . Brought some dinner and put gas in my car . Plus that night the server gave me free fries with my food too ! I was so happy ! So happy to the point I decided I would break up with my boyfriend ! I love him and care about him a lot . And things weren 't always rough . We were always fighting and at each other 's necks . Things were great . But after this whole pregnancy ordeal and him acting like a complete ass . I can 't deal anymore . He doesn 't want to help me or be supportive or even check to see if I 'm ok or not . But expects me to do all that for him and then some . I refuse to do that anymore . So he texted me that night asking how my day went . I told him it was great . Then I asked if I could see him at some point when he got the time . He asked if it was something bad . Honestly I just wanted to talk about the break up . In person . 0 Hi kids ! ! It 's been forever right ? ? I 've missed you guys and dolls so much ! You all don 't know how many days I needed to talk to you well mostly vent . But couldn 't since I was so busy . So quick update ! I had to go check and hadn 't realized I haven 't posted something since August ! Damn . Sorry about that . Around that time I had started a second job . So I was working 16hours a day . From 7am to 11pm . Honestly I was tired and exhausted . All just I can afford to live . How lame is that ? In the midst of all this I 've been getting the runaround basically . On whether I 'm pregnant or not . I got sick and was in and out of the hospital a lot . And the doctors told me yes I was pregnant . To no I 'm not pregnant . Yo I have a yeast infection which is caused by my having to pee so much , which is caused by my backache which I hurt at work for heavy lifting ( I work in a call center calling people or taking calls ) . Oh ! And I 've gained weight for over eating ( didn 't know one meal a day and a two snacks was over eating ) . But yet my tummy is growing . My clothes don 't fit . And I never had a yeast infection . But with all of that . My boyfriend of almost two years . Still feels it 's not his , it wasn 't him and he wants nothing to do with it . What 's crazy he was here with me at my house for a whole month which is the same time I got pregnant so I couldn 't cheat if I 'm with you 24 / 7 . . . . we worked together so yeah . I 'll be honest I love him to death and he means the world to me . But it 's like me getting pregnant has ruined everything - for him . It 's like sir we 're both grown and know what we getting ourselves into . Don 't act like this is something new for you . Especially since he has 3 kids already . So not only has he been an ass about that issue . He 's been very inconsistent , shady and just horrible to me . Like he did a full 360 on me with his personality . All I can think of if we did get married is this how you gonna act with me ? Leaving and not telling me where you 're going , little to no contact , I gotta keep asking you to do something for me or0 Hi kids ! ! Long time no see huh ? I 've been a busy bunny . I 'm working two jobs now from 7am to 11pm . Been doing so for a month now and it 's exhausting but the hard work is worth it . I see it paying off and that 's got me super excited . However at the moment I 'm beyond tired and exhausted . I feel like death is rubbing my back and whispering sweet nothings in my ear lol . I ended up with a sinus infection . That 's been kicking my ass like crazy ! I had a headache all day yesterday and could barely get out of bed . Sore throat and no chance of breathing through my nose . It 's been a sucky last couple days . But because of going to the ice cold offices and then to the blazing heat outdoors . It 's got me all types of messed up . But that 's not what I wanted to talk about though . So currently . I 'm also not in my best potential as myself . Because right now it 's a mystery if I 'm pregnant or not . I mentioned it awhile back . But then I took a few tests who told me NOT PREGNANT in big bold letters . But yet I 'm nauseated , my feet and ankles are swollen , I have to pee constantly , I have a vomit session here and there . And I just feel weird . I don 't feel like myself . At first I didn 't notice until one day I had this abrupt mood swing and was agitated at everything . Now I 'm like well . So I took two more test at the end of July . One was a negative . The other a faint positive . It 's not so much being pregnant that concerns me . It 's the fact how this will affect so many lives and things that concerns me . My baby 's father who 's also my boyfriend and have been for almost two years now . Feels it 's not his baby . He used a condom and that 's that . Ok . Well sometimes condoms don 't work . Personally if one was used , it wasn 't put on correctly . We both were drunk off our asses and could barely walk a straight line and yet you could functionally put a condom on no problems . Which then turned into he didn 't come that night at all . So it can 't be his baby . It 's gotta be someone else 's . Ok so the last person I had sex with prior to him was my ex . Which was 0 So because life will always have a plot twist things will always change or never be what they seem . With that being said . I decided to take time out to get this off my mind . So I know I 've said it time and time again that I would never date a man with kids ever again . I would say that line until I 'm blue & purple in the face . Why ? Because I " dated " or ( what is known in my generation as ) hooked up with men before who were dads . Now they weren 't father of the year . Some were decent fathers , some were down right horrible . Others just wanted to have their dessert buffet ( variety of women ) with no commitments to anyone really . I 've even been put in the position where I too was forced to ride the coat tail or apron strings of the Baby Mama because he demanded that from me because I wanted to be in a relationship with him . So that meant whatever the baby mama said - went . No questions asked . And I better not oppose this position . So not only was I coming in second to a woman who hated my very existence . But I was back burner to possibly another baby mama and the children involved . So that second or third place was now down to a strong 13th place . I personally didn 't like it . And realized the more time I invested with men who had kids the less contented I was with the situation . Now I remember when my parents would talk about life and whatnots . My dad always said he would never date or marry a woman who had a kid or kids . He never liked ready made families . My mom on the other hand was ok with it . She said you can 't blame the kids on your relationship with that parent . Especially if you care about that person a lot . When I was teen I got her point of view . And agreed . But then I grew up and dealt with it . And then understood where my dad was coming from . I decided around 22 or 23 I would never date a man with kids . Kids were a deal breaker and always would be . Whether it was mutual or he had full custody . It didn 't matter I didn 't want to have to compete for a man 's attention amongst people who win his affection by defaucomments Since I got a few moments I might as well get my frustrations out . So let 's back it up . When I decided to have my wisdom teeth removed that process started back in March . I was getting awful headaches and could barely chew anything due to the pain . It took me forever to find a place that would remove them without me having to pay out of pocket or my insurance only cover a small portion . So I told my supervisor when my surgery was going to be . Even though I found out last minute myself ( about a week and half in advance ) I let her know immediately . Long story short . I asked to have the day off . She told me no . I asked for a half a day ; still told me no . Then told me to reschedule it . I am not going to reschedule major surgery because it doesn 't fit your schedule . So I got mad and decided then it was time to find a new job . Which I did . So started the new job last month . Even though they half assed training and it was basically garbage . They waited to last minute to give us our schedules . Now I decided to work both jobs because that is a better income . But the new job wanted me to work an 11 - hour shift . So I 'm like what about my other job ? Right now the other job which I 'm part time at is my only source of income . He told me to either quit , work on the weekends or borrow money . Now they haven 't paid me . So I 'm suppose to be ok getting a $ 200 check maybe on the 5th and wait until the 20th of July for an actual paycheck ? ? Dude no . I can 't work weekends because the other place is open Monday - Friday . He said well you probably going to have to quit because we need you here . What about part time ? Nope . No part time . So I have to work the 10am to 8 : 45pm shift ? Nah . Luckily I was on lunch break and left . Haven 't been back since . Because that ridiculous . You don 't want to work around my schedule and when I was trying to fix the issue you kept brushing me off . So that right there had me mad as hell . Like you 're basically forcing me to quit the other job . But you haven 't taught me everything I need to know to do this job . It ' comments I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday today . I know you guys are dreading work tomorrow just like I am lol Either enjoy yourselves and this July ! 0 I know I haven 't blogged in FOREVER ! ! I been super busy . Ended up with two jobs at one point . Had surgery . Still sorting life out and then all of sudden shit hit the fucking fan and I 'm still trying to figure out what the fuck happened and how it happened in such a short time . So I finally got my wisdom teeth removed about a month ago . Heeling has been a trial between finding the right things to eat and the medication had me super sick too ! But I 'm happy it 's done and I feel a lot better as far as that 's concerned . Then I got tired of the shit at my job . Between my checks being short or not adding up right . I was especially disgusted when I was going for my surgery my boss refused to give me the day off and even refused me coming in for a half a day . Told me to reschedule . So I 'm suppose to continue to have pain for two more months and be miserable . No bitch I 'm not . I decided then it was time for a new job . Thus I got a second job and went part time there . Honestly I thought it would work out . Until a couple days ago they 're telling me to quit the part time job and wait on them . Which I wasn 't getting a full paycheck for another two weeks . No that 's not gonna work . Luckily I got a call for another job that 's not only closer to home but pays more than both those jobs ! I honestly couldn 't be happier for the opportunity . Plus I 'm ready to leave especially since I 'm not getting along with my boyfriend . I wanted to get this off my chest and my mind so I didn 't drag this drama into July . I don 't want it being a distraction on what I 'm trying to accomplish . What 's funny , is that no matter how hard I try to be a better person , a better woman than I was the day before there 's always a trying moment . Usually in most cases I can overcome it . But this fuckery with my boyfriend got me feeling some type of way . I know in my hay day I was horrible . I took men off of their ladies . I broke couples up and just made everyone as miserable as I possibly could . For that I have to accept the possibility that it could happen to me too . comments I just wanted to wish all the wonderful men out there a very happy happy Father 's Day and I hope that you were well appreciated and loved today ! ! Happy Daddy 's day to the women out there doing it all ! ! 0 I just wanted to wish all the wonderful men out there a very happy happy Father 's Day and I hope that you were well appreciated and loved today ! ! Happy Daddy 's day to the women out there doing it all ! ! 0 I just want to wish all the Moms , Dads & Fur - Parents out there a Happy Mothers Day . While I spend mine being tortured by my cats and cleaning up after them . I hope you guys & dolls got a break today lol 0 I thought I would take time out of my hella busy schedule and reflect on the fact that I am getting older . What 's weird is that I feel SUPER OLD . I remember back as a kid thinking someone who was in their 30s were super adult and old and well ok their way to old - people - hood lol . But now that I look at re fact that I 'll be 30years old in exactly one year one month and one day . . . . . . it 's a lot more to that than I thought . And it 's not so bad either . Majority of the people have already been telling me I 'm 30 and to accept it . Even tho I 'll be 29 next month . I must say at first I was kind of unhappy to see my 20s leave so abruptly and to crash land in my 30s . But now not so much . I 'm sort of excited and then on the same token I 'm a little scared at the fact that I am getting older , and growing up and maturing - but most of all I still feel like a teenager all confused about life and still trying to sort things out without adult supervision . YIKES ! That 's the beautiful part about it all . Because it makes me reflect on all those people I thought were super grown up at 30 - something and how they probably didn 't have their shit together either . They were probably fucking up left to right and desperately hoping another adultier adult would come and save them lol . That 's the most ironic thing too . It 's actually admirable too . What I can say even though a part of me isn 't ready to cross yet another threshold into adulthood and fears gray hair and more fat and saggy skin . The more grown up part of me is actually exited and can 't wait to see what the 30 . I get to have another decade of experiences and wonderment . I hope I get to spend as many seconds and minutes I can with the people I love the most . And just maybe I might even astonish myself and come across things I never knew and maybe things I never knew I wanted . I might encounter trials and tribulations that I 'm prepared for and others I 'm not . I hope that either way I gain the knowledge and wisdom to keep calm and carry on while having the serenity to know the differencecomments There are moments in my life where I catch myself wondering if I 'm old enough to be doing what I 'm doing whatever the task at hand may be . Majority of the time I always feel like I 'm too young . Too young for a serious relationship , too young to figuring out if an IRA is better than a 401K , too young for marriage and kids - too young to be adulting in general . Even though next month I 'll be 29 ! It 's crazy actually . The more and more I get into my daily activities and make plans and changes to suit myself so that I can expand and grow . I also feel contradictory and feel too old to not have it together as I look at other people who are my age or older or those who were my age at some point . Hell my parents were homeowners by time they reached my age and were married for 10years at least too ! I feel so out of place sometimes like I want to be ready and I know in my heart I can be ready . But my insecurity makes me feel like I 'm not ready for this . I know I still have tons of stuff to learn and time to grow still . There are moments where I feel like a scared little kid and need the guidance of an adultier adult lol . Or least someone to tell me that I 'm going in the right direction - for the moment lol . I hope by 30 I can have it together a little bit . Least to stop stressing about whether I 'm old enough to be grocery shopping by myself or having sex with my boyfriend or not lol . 0 On this very exact date to the day . My parents got married at a little church . Right before Easter and there was snow too lol . Even though it 's been 50years since that date . I bet if they were still alive they would 've loved this moment very much . For the longest time I never understood why this date was so important to them . It didn 't make sense . Though I enjoyed their love for each other . I never got how much they love the idea of each other of the " US " of them . I think this is the first time in a long time that I looked forward to their anniversary . I will say I hated the day because I always felt they blew out of porportion . But I was also young and didn 't understand why I had to be included on a day I never got to see or experience or have as fond of memories as they did . Even as I got older and things started to change . All I remember is how excited they were to reach that 50years mark . Even still ; I still didn 't understand why this date was so important . When my father passed and my mom still kept hope alive and I would buy her cards to make her day and look at old pictures with her to make her happy . I didn 't understand . I always assumed I never would . When my mother passed , I ended up with all the knick knacks , souvenirs and keepsakes . That date was nothing more but a confirmation of my parents Union in holy matrimony . That was adorned in history with photographs and a certificate . And a inscribed wedding ring . But it didn 't hit me until recently . Like a few months ago . I had this really weird dream where I thought I loss the wedding band I had . Even though it was just a ring and nothing more and nothing less . That was the first time it was heartbreaking to think it was gone forever . That dream had me so messed up I had to get up and look for the ring the next morning before I went off to work . I couldn 't help but look at the ring and read the inscribing : A . B . M to E . N . R . 4 - 9 - 66 . And I sat there wondering why this ring was so important to me . It wasn 't until I start spending more and more time with Mr . G . comments Hi kids ! ! Happy April . And happy March because I think I may have missed it lol . I 've been so busy trying to get my life together it 's crazy ! ! I love my job and the people I work with but I 'm tired of the commute . I 'm tired of getting little to no sleep and little to no time for myself and my boyfriend too ( yeah that happened lol ) . I 'm tired of missing work when it 's not for something productive like handling bills or job interviews . The last few trips out to my job have been atrocious . I either missed a bus , missed the shuttle or got left . It 's a pain in the ass ! ! I 'm just tired . I need something closer . It would be ideal if the closer job came with more money . But at this point I don 't care . Just need something better . I want to do better i want to be better you know ? ? No I 'm not looking for a life long career or to be a manager or any of that . I need a job I can work that 's flexible and offers opportunities if and when I decide to change my mind . At the moment I just want to work and be able to support myself . But trying to job search and tend to employers and work is hard . It 's damn near impossible . I 'm missing calls and emails that I can 't respond to because I don 't have time to do it at home . By time the weekend comes I 'm either knocked out all day Saturday or spend it cooking all day . What 's funny with me looking for a new job . My current job isn 't happy and my higher - ups are trying to make me feel guilty and some days I do . But why would I feel guilty about trying to better myself and my situation ? Yeah I understand that puts you in a bind . But how do you think I feel having to bust my ass to get to and from work while allowing a " customer " to cuss me out all day . All for a paycheck that majority goes to my transportation . However I won 't let them make me feels guilty . I can 't guarantee that I 'll be perfect . I 'm human I make mistakes and I have an OVER FULL plate . In addition to be a functional adult and taking care of myself , I have to take care of the kittens too . And I 'm also trying to make sure my currcomments Its over ! ! Oh noes ! ! Lol well it might be over but don 't worry we 've got plenty more of projects planned ! While I was in the beginni . . . It was a long hard , difficult and crazy battle but finally - I AM DONE ! ! It 's better late than never I always say hahahaha ! It was . . . It 's intriguing what My Mind has to offer ; Bewildering some , while bringing others comfort . That pretty much sums it up for what ItzMzBunny means . Read more here ⇒
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The world as we know it can be hard . There are worse bad hands to be dealt in life than infertility but when you want a child it is all you can think about . Infertility is one of those things that is almost a sick prank that life pulls on you . I am a man but I know that many women think of having their own children often . The truth is men do too . I can 't wait to take my kid to a baseball game . I can 't wait until the first time a guy shows up at my door to ask out my daughter and I give him the " stare down and talk " . I can 't wait to teach them to ride a bike , to …… . wait I suffer from infertility ? What if you do not suffer from infertility directly but your wife does ? What if you are a studly baby making machine just waiting for your wife to produce the child you were blessed to be able to biologically produce but she cannot ? What do you do ? You marry to be in love . You marry to have the support system to get you through all of life 's ups and downs . I have never once heard in marriage vows the part that says she will knock out a kid when directed to do so and if she can 't then she gets sent to the farm and the groom can move on . After all a bull has needs right ? HORSEHIT ! ! ! A man is defined by how he behaves when the chips are down . It is easy to be the " I pick things up and put them down guy " but it takes true testicular fortitude to love for better or worse . If a man wants to be a father and the love of his life may not be able to make this happen he needs to then show her why she married him . He needs to go out of his way to redirect their life . He needs to talk about options . He should make her know that this is simply a little bump and all they have to do is slow down and get over it together . If adoption is not the answer he should help to cultivate a life for them where they can hand in hand find other interests that they can share and make memories from . Maybe they do not have kids but they can travel the world or become more involved in church or other community activities . He should not let infertility be a stop sign in their life . If his wife needs medical help for the possibility of childbirth then he needs to become a brick wall . When she is feeling beaten he should hold her up and never let her fall to her knees . He needs to remind her that she is not the first to walk this path and many have had children with persistence and medical help . He needs to arm himself with knowledge from the countless appointments she will go to . Let me clarify that last statement … . the countless appointments " THEY " will go to . The hardest thing I had to do when we went down our infertility road was from time to time be quiet and just let her let it out . I had a few times I had to walk away and let her have a moment but I always returned with a kiss and a gentle touch ( for the record we were both contributors to our infertility ) . I can still remember my wife telling me I should find a woman who I deserved . A woman who could just knock that child out . Men can you imagine the emotion a woman must be carrying to make a statement like that ? She loved me so much that she was willing to give up her own happiness so I could wander in another field for offspring . That was the hardest statement I ever heard . You need to know that it could be you boys . It could be you have no ammunition in the pea shooter . Would you want her to leave ? Can you imagine how emasculated would feel if you could not produce what was needed to have a child ? Would it be fair if she left ? Be the man she married . Be a man ! Be the man ! Please share this post . Challenge men to be men if they are not . I love you all and I wish you the best on a journey that takes a lot out of you but is well worth it when you find what you are looking for . We have a six - year - old child . Her name is Emma . That is not how most infertility entries start but sometimes it is fun to work a story from its end to its beginning . You ever seen a movie like that ? Quentin Tarantino is the master of that . You know the end so how interesting could the events that led up to the conclusion hold my attention ? HOPEfully this story will . Rewind nearly five years before the birth of our child and my wife and I were about to have the ride of our life . We were at the beginning of an endless series of doctors ' appointments , needles , and a ton of pain . The infertile community will understand when I write how frustrating it can be listening to a friend innocently discussing how they are pregnant . It is even more confounding when they tell you how annoying the pregnancy is or how uncomfortable it is or how their spouse won 't touch them while they sport a baby bump . All I want to say is , " Bitch my wife just finished crying for a week and a half because we miscarried . Now she hates herself and there is nothing I can do to console her because in her head it is her fault and she is less of a woman . She thinks I should move on to another woman who can give me a child . She couldn 't be more wrong but I will never get her to understand that … " but instead I respond with , " Oh that 's stinks but it will be worth it in a few months " . You are supersensitive and self - destructive if you are a woman ( in many cases ) and emasculated as a man ( in many cases ) during infertility . I am a man but not a macho man . I am not the guy that will fight at the drop of a dime . Even though I was a cop I had few physical confrontations of note in the first 45 years of my life but I will defend my wife until I have not a breath to give . It is so hard to see your wife hurt and there is nothing you can do . The assailant is invisible and you can 't make them stop . Infertility is an invisible bully and it attacks you physically , emotionally , on the news , on your favorite sitcom , social media , at work , from your family , and so many other directions . Infertility is a hurricane that pounds you until it passes over you because you throw in the towel or you beat it . The strength it takes to stand up to a bully is palpable . Infertility is no different . Families that take on this task and it is a task go through things that very few people will understand . Some will feel like they are on an island and the population is one . It is a difficult thing to explain because the emotions hit you when you least expect it and sometimes you do not feel yourself . I mean honestly who in their right mind is pissed at their cat for being pregnant and thinks the feline is flaunting it ? … . . an infertile person may feel that way . It takes a special soul and couple to step into the darkness of this unknown menagerie of appointments and scrutiny and get each other through it . If you cannot be an organized person that keeps doctors visits , medication schedule 's , and many other inflexible things straight you best find someone to help you stay on point . You have to be honest with yourself and do all you can from time to time to set your pride aside and ask for help from your spouse , friend , or other family member as needed . You will also need to " LET IT GO " from time to time and vent , cry , and maybe scream … . . just don 't do it in line at the Wawa buying your coffee ! ! ! Enough with the bad . This entry is about HOPE . HOPE comes from many places . HOPE can be faith in God . HOPE can be faith in family and friends . HOPE can be faith in yourself and knowing that you will not be denied a child until all things have been tried , all calls have been made , second opinions have been heard , all angles have been viewed , all medicines that are safe to you have been tried , all voices are heard , all money you can afford has been exhausted , all support groups have been visited , all … well you get the picture . My HOPE came from my wife . She does not believe it but there is none stronger than her . There is none more determined than her . We ran the infertility gamut . We had miscarriages , a million doctor appointments , IVF , IUI , pokes , prods , a crap load of judgment , tears upon tears , and the list goes on . My wife sat in the floor of her pharmacy , in tears once , as she miscarried and there was nothing anyone could do . She even gave up once . I was relieved because I could not bear to see her in such pain but a few months later she decided that she and we were not done . She decided that that giving up was not the end she wanted . Reluctantly on my behalf we moved on . We went through another IVF . Every number that could go wrong went wrong . We only had two eggs to implant and they had poor grades . Two eggs but we had HOPE . In our case it was not faith in God it was just a good old fashioned Hail Mary hoping to reach the end zone where life as parents began . For us it was HOPE that luck will change . We became pregnant . We had no time to celebrate because only a week or two in my showed signs of a miscarry . We went to the fertility clinic and would not even look at each other . The nurse did an ultrasound and told us she had a heartbeat . It was the first time we heard the heartbeat of our child . There was a sub - chorionic bleed . My wife would be on bed rest for nearly eight months . She never complained . At one point she did not come down stairs for a couple of weeks . She would not lose hope . She would not quit . This thing was haHOPE got us through . Faith in each other was the fuel that allowed my wife , in the terms of one of her favorite movie " A Knights Tale " to tell the bully infertility that " You have been weighed , you have been measured , and you have been found wanting . In what world could you possibly beat me ? " . I beg you to not give up HOPE . I ask that you hold your partner tight . Tell your partner everything in your heart and ask the same from them . Keep the conversation up as you beat this bully down . Even if the battle cannot be won you may have strengthened the bond with whoever you chose to spend your life with to the point that in no possible world could anyone break you emotionally . My wife and I understand and even after what seems an eternity ago I still feel the heat of the HOPE that she kept alive . My Name is Andy Thornhill . I will always remember what happened that made my life feel closure . I wrote a book titled , " The Longest Love Letter " and it tells our families story . I have very good reason why I will never forget . Yes I saw the miracle of my daughters birth but what was nearly as impressive was the stength I saw in the woman I am lucky enough to call my wife . " The Longest Love Letter is available for the Kindle and Nook . Best of luck with your journey . Filed under Uncategorized and tagged Advocate , Assicted Conception , assisted conception , Attain Fertility , Baby , Bloggers Challange , children , Conception , daddy , Day of Hope , Endometreosis , Facebook , Family , Family Act , Fatherhood , Fertility , Hope , IUI , IVF , life , love , marriage , medical , Men , Mens Feelings , misscarriage , mommy , motherhood , National Infertility Week , parenthood , Womens Feelings | 1 Comment Tommy Ramone died this past week . All of the original Ramones are gone Joey , Dee Dee , Johnny , and again Tommy . I can remember it as though it were yesterday . I worked concert security at local concert halls and I briefly met them and worked several of their shows . I remember them being very nice . I also remember the barricade nearly crushing on top of me from the force of the swaying and punk rock equivalent of a dancing crowd . It seems like yesterday The Ramones were playing a reunion tour . It seems like such a short time ago . What does this have to do with infertility and its effect on our lives ? I will try to draw a line that makes sense . I would like to give you a quick family bio . My wife and I are part of the infertility community . We both contributed to what was affecting our ability to conceive and carry a child full term . After nearly five years , we had a child on our second IVF . We had tried other methods over that time period and like many others in the infertility lost babies and shed tears . My wife did eight months bed rest while carrying our daughter who is about to turn six . I wrote a book on our experience and at every opportunity try to offer support and our experience to families that are still finding their ways . My wife , a pharmacist , is involved with many women in various stages of infertilty . She is a rock . I don 't deserve so good and neither do most others . We wanted to be greedy and try again but decided not to tempt fate . I did not forget to get back to the Ramones . When I saw on the news the latest death of a Ramone it was a clear reminder to me about how short our time is on this planet . Tommy Ramone was 64 when he passed , relatively young , but the impact that the band had on me was recent only over a couple of decades . 20 plus years seems like a long time , but it isn 't . If you consider that time frame think of your fertility window ? If you or your spouse have infertility issues that can be medically treated and give you a glimmer of hope that window could be half or less of the 20 year Ramone window . Some couples and people feel in their heart that they have issues and do not seek help . Maybe they don 't get help because they do not want to face the truth . They could be dissappointed in themself or concerned they will disappoint their spouse . These couples may be scared of the unknown . They do not know if they can handle the finances , the emotions , or the test to their marriage . So your window that is already limited is getting smaller because of a very natural and normal fear of " not knowing " . Many forms of infertility can be treated . Sometimes it is as simple as shots but it can sometimes need other treatments or even surgery . If you and your partner already have concerns and have tried to have a baby for several months or over a year to no avail then it could be time to have a talk . You must be honest with each other from the beginning and by this I mean both sides must express their fears and lack of knowledge up front . One of the worst things you could do is leave feelings unsaid because they may fester in ways that will make your infertility journey even more difficult . Once your fears and admission that you need help , as a couple , are on the table then its time to call your regular doctor for references and information . You will not be the first person to walk this path and sometimes fear can be quelled by support and experience . Attain Fertility , Resolve , and many other websites offer great advice and shared experiences . It has been my experience that sometimes knowing someone else has felt the same I do makes handling stressful situations better . There are many blogs kept by men and women at various levels of infertility that can be found on WordPress or through a google search . Be curious and read some blogs . It will not take your fears away but it might give you a little peace knowing you are not alone . You had an honest conversation with your partner , talked to your doctor about next steps , and stalked some blogs and websites for support and proof you are not crazy but now the real work begins . Your treatments begin and you have submitted to a million blood tests and the first couple cycles go by and nothing happens . You get words of encouragement and hope from your doctor but the results are the same . You decide to take a break and skip a cycle . During your break you question yourself , the process , and stop talking to your pregnant friend you have know since childhood . Time is passing and so is your confidence and patience . What do you do ? You don 't give up ever ? Stuart Scott recently said in a speech about his battle with cancer ( and I paraphrase ) that when you are too tired to fight let others fight for you . While infertility and cancer are clearly two very different issues the principle remains the same . You are not in your infertility battle alone . You partner is in the battle with you , your close friends are in the battle with you , the infertility community is in the battle with you . We had our child but we are in the battle with you ( message us on WordPress ) . I will never forget what my wife did . Science is on your side , family and friends are on your side , but time ? Not so much . Just like it only seemed like yesterday that I saw the Ramones on stage it also seemed like a blink in time when we were battling infertility to have our child . Do not give in if you can afford to move on . Be honest with yourself and your family . Cry if you need to . It is okay to let it go from time to time . Don 't doubt yourself . The resolve of women in the infertility process is amazing . You can do this . Time may be short but desire and drive to have a child are not . You can best infertility . Infertility is invisible . Most people do not know they have an issue with it for years . Some people who suffer from infertility issues will never know they had them . The ones that never know could be oblivious or in denial . How do you wage war against an invisible enemy ? You approach it like any other war by preparing a strong offensive collecting an army of support . You educate yourself about your enemy and try to beat it at its own game . You anticipate what your enemies move is and use what you have learned and with your allies support conquer it . The difference between this war and the all too common ones we see on the news is that winning this war brings you the satisfaction of fulfilling your dream of being a parent . To beat infertility you must have a great deal of RESOLVE . We started our infertility like many couples do . I figured it was just a matter of time and my wife knew something wasn 't quite right . From the beginning I was blind and my wife had intuition . After a few months my wife settled on a solution to solve our contentious matter . She scheduled us to go to the Jones Institute in Norfolk , Virginia . We met with a doctor who delicately laid out a plan to help us conceive . The idea that I would need help conceiving was a thought that never crossed my mind in the first 33 years of my life . I did not know how little I knew about fertility . My wife knew a little having a pharmaceutical back ground but my background was much more limited . I wanted a child and I wanted my wife happy but when it came to being able to solve our fertility mystery I was useless . RESOLVE at this stage came in the shape of my lovely and persistent wife . She refused to quit . Every time her body told her no she changed her tactics and faced infertility eye to eye . She listened intently to her doctor and I came to nearly all the appointments with her . We figured if both of us were at an appointment we would be less likely to miss something our clinic told us . My wife kept notes and was meticulously organized . In my wives normal life sometimes stressful situations could have unglued her but when it came to infertility she refused to let it break her down . There were moments when she found dark places . Miscarriages would shake her . She would sit on the floor and cry . She did not want anyone around and wanted to curl up and disappear but after a day or two she would pull herself up and with the iron jaw of a champion boxer she would prepare her self for the next round of the fight . What her heart wanted outweighed any obstacles that infertility would put in her way . We had reached the end of the road where insurance was a monetary contributor . The battle had waged for nearly five years and after several cycles we threw in the towel . I thought to battle was done . The war was over after we went O - Fer in every battle . RESOLVE : firm determination to do something . My wife went back home to West Virginia a couple of times a year and was at the airport when she called me . She told me we were going to pay for a round of IVF . I was against the idea because I was concerned whether she could bounce back from another miscarriage that also cost us as much as $ 20 , 000 . I had no choice in this decision . My wife was so sure of her course of action that she had already set the appointments in motion for the next cycle before calling me to tell me we were taking another shot at slaying our invisible antagonist . The IVF cycle worked and now the real fears would kick in . We were used to things breaking down . We never talked about it but we were going to be surprised by a delivery and probably not by a loss . She would be on bed rest for eight months . 10 to 15 minutes a day was all she was allowed on her feet . She never complained . We had several scares . The first time we saw our child 's heartbeat was at an appointment when we had reason to believe the pregnancy had failed . RESOLVE was all my wife had . She refused to give in . She refused to make a mistake and she had the tenacity of a Lioness protecting her young . On October 20 , 2008 our daughter was born in Norfolk , Virginia . Our story was over . The invisible antagonist was weighed , measured , and found wanting . ( my wife loves a Knights Tale ) The story could have ended there but it did not . During the first year of my daughter 's life I wrote a book . The book was a love letter to my daughter . It illustrated in great detail nearly every step of the battle and ended with her birth . I wanted my daughter to know her story and if I waited 20 years to tell it to her I would have forgotten some of the emotions and details . When The Longest Love Letter was near completion I realized it was actually a love letter to my wife . My wife had changed my world . My wife gave me the greatest gift . She showed me the greatest vote of confidence when she chose me to raise a child with her . I made a decision at that time to write about infertility and living with infertility at every chance I could . I wanted others to know it can be beat . I wanted to comfort those in their dark battle . My wife takes it even further . My wife jumped in head first to every Facebook Infertility Support site she could find . She uses her knowledge and experience to help others . She became friends with many of these other women in various stages of their journey . It would be easy for her to put the past behind her but she remembers the thoughts that kept her up at night . She did not have support groups but wishes she did . It is easier to get through dark places when others will be your light . My wife is a lighthouse for those that are lost in their journey and need an ear to listen to them . She is a voice that will tell them that while it may hurt like hell it will be okay . She is willing to help them find their RESOLVE ! ! ! ! Couples please do not give in . Find your RESOLVE . Find you course and commit to it . Don 't be afraid to hear a strangers story and maybe take their hand if they offer it . RESOLVE to not let the battle take away the essence of the one thing you are trying to create life . You can do this and you are not alone . Pat Benatar sang that " Love Is A Battlefield " . I wonder if she meant that love was a battlefield because of the wars you will have with the one you love or if she meant something a little deeper . I like to think that love is a battlefield because any person or problem that faces the one I love and I will be left gasping for its last breath on the battlefield where , as a unit , we will defeat them . Today I read a passage on the Resolve Facebook feed that infuriated me . Generally I do not spend much time reading feeds . My wife could post on her page that we won the lottery and she cannot wait for me to get home and I would not see it unless she tagged me to it or it happened to be on top of the news feed . Sometimes I do scroll through the feeds looking for something to make me smile or maybe a random update from someone on my friends list . Today I ran across a comment from someone I do not know whose story was posted directly by Resolve . The post ( and I am greatly paraphrasing ) told us about a woman who had tried to have a baby with her husband for a couple of years through medically assisted fertility treatments . She received the news that everyone in the infertile community clamors for " you 're pregnant " . This should be where the good stuff happens but evidently not . Her husband was leaving her for someone else . My brain explodes in anger ( for the husband ) at the same time my heart broke for the lady in the Resolve feed . For those who have not read my blog before or may not know me please let me give you my résumé on this subject . I am married for the second time after a bad first marriage . I met my present wife well after my divorce . My present and last wife and I have had plenty to deal with as a couple . We have dealt with nothing that many other couples have not faced and nothing that is worse than the next couple . We have not dealt infidelity and by the grace of whatever we may believe in I doubt we ever will . I should say I know we never will but if the Bachelors Juan Pablo popped up I am in trouble . We have dealt with infertility , loss of baby , and finally successful IVF . I am also a man . I am not the tough guy macho man . I am sensitive but I have my limits too . I have been cheated on but have not cheated . I will not pretend that I will not take a second to notice a pretty girl in a room but I fully expect my wife to notice a man and we have discussed attractive people on both sides often . There is a line to noticing politely and being the creepy person in the corner . Now let my diatribe begin . When you fall in love and marry it is not disposable . Marriage is sacred and not because of faith - based reasons . Marriage is sacred because it is a promise . You promise yourself , the one you love , your friends , and both of your families that come hell or high water we will get through life together . Nothing that man or life can throw at us will tear us apart . If you fold under pressure and leave your partner on loves battlefield you are not a man . You are not human and quite frankly if you fold because " you can 't take it " then every woman who sees you from the day you fold on should also get an e - mail that says , " While he may be handsome he will leave you when times are hard . Before taking a date with this man share this information with everyone in your inner circle so the one that you are most likely to listen to in life will tell you to not even give him the time of day " . I am a realist . I do think that sometimes what was shiny and brilliant sometimes loses its luster . Sometimes things do not work out but before you throw in the towel did you try every avenue to be sure it isn 't just a relationship bump ? Infertility will try even the strongest of couples . I still remember my wife telling me at one point that she would not blame me for seeking out another woman who could give me a child when we went through our journey . To this day I cannot believe that statement but I understand that her love for me and the disappointment she felt in herself because of our struggles to conceive made her feel that way . The truth is we both contributed to our infertility but moreover we both were in the struggle . I have read many women make the same statement my wife did to me but I don 't think I have ever heard a man say it . There is no greater love than the love where one will sacrifice anything for another but that does not mean you take the " get out of infertility jail pass " . When a couple tackles infertility it will shake them but a good man will see past the tears , the loss , the insecurities and find a way to bring relief to the woman they love . The relief is often no more than just saying I love you , kissing them , holding their hands and saying nothing . Let 's face it , when it comes to the bumps in the road infertility brings sometimes the best support is just making sure they know you are there . If a man falls out of love during the infertility process he is weak and is only looking to escape what he is not man enough to face up to . He is selfish because he cannot keep a promise and went down a path with you he probably knew in his heart of hearts he could not handle and when he found a woman who would support his weakness he left . It takes a strong couple to handle marriage much less infertility and my heart breaks for this woman because I am sure she felt they were this strong couple but it seems the strong one was her . So what does she do ? She is pregnant and her other half has left . I suggest that your other half is the child you carry . You may still have a tough road ahead . For infertile couples the battle is not won when you are told you are pregnant because too many couples still have problems carrying the infLove is all that matters . When you get married is it not for love ? The same can be said for couples trying to have a child . Having a child should be about love . I am not making light of the families that are fortunate enough to build families without infertility issues but the couples that have children after infertility battles have a different view . We do not love our children more than couples that had children without issue but there is an extra glow to it and in some cases a maybe a bit more appreciation . I truly and fully intend no insult with this . It 's not more appreciation for the child as much as it is more appreciation for conceiving successfully . Not every couple is the same and every word of my above diatribe is simply opinion but love must come first . When you enter into medically assisted processes to have a child it is very important to be supportive . Even if everything seems okay it is not a bad idea from time to time to ask your partner how they are feeling . Let them know if you feel less of a man or woman . Let them know that it bothers you when friends and family ask : The more you share then the less likely a buried emotion fester into an argument that could have been avoided . I do not for a moment say any of these things happened to the muse of this blog but they are just things that help . I learned from my wife that women are the strongest of creatures and in many ways stronger than men but even the strongest of us have insecurities . I wish you all the best . I hope you all get what you are looking for in your journey and most of all love each other . My mind is a terrible thing . Sometimes I have random thoughts that should stay random and not realized into a statement . I was reading the infertility page of the Huffington Post and they were a blur of random blogs when a random thought hit me . What if I had never married the mother of my test tube baby ? I knew from a young age that I wanted to be a father . I cannot tell you any specific reason I had this paternal wish . I was married for seven years before my present marriage . It was not a good marriage and it does not really matter why but one of the good things that came from that marriage was no children . When I divorced from that first marriage I really had no intention on dating again much less getting married . I had a lot of things going on back then . I was starting a new career and a new life . I was too busy rebuilding life to think about parental aspirations . Have you ever heard the expression that good things happen to you when you least expect it ? The good thing that happened to me was my present wife , and love of my life , had one of her friends ask me to go on a date with her . Even after the friend told me I was going out on a date with my present wife , Shannon , I still did not rekindle my old dreams of a being a father . Shan and I had a very fast courtship and we were quick to marry . When its right it is right . We had our battles with infertility and would eventually have a child through IVF . I live a blessed life . I must ask my " what if " question again . What would have happened to my dreams if I never remarried . You will hear from time to time about single women having babies with medical help . Single women that do not have plans of having a man in their life at the time . Maybe these women are career minded and have not had time to find a man they want to share forever with but they feel that fertility clock ticking on them so IVF makes sense . It is not uncommon at all these days for same - sex couples to have children through IVF . Just a couple of years ago a gay male friend of mine had a baby with his male partner . I think it is wonderful but I am not sure I have heard of the unicorn of infertility . What if I would have remained single and wanted to have a child through medically assisted means ? How would that scenario be viewed ? I am sure it has happened but the first heterosexual man to go down that road had to be very confident . Did his boys give him a hard time ? I can hear his friends at the bar when the subject comes up . They would tell him why can 't you just grab the girl at the end of the bar and give her the old let 's have a baby dance and be done with it ? Anyone who goes through infertility will probably find more people making misplaced inappropriate statements more often than proper ones . I am not sure I would have had the internal fortitude to have been " that " single man . If I did not have that nerve I would have missed out on a huge blessing in life by being a father . When you are struggling with your decision to seek fertility treatments please remember few things worth having come without some struggle , self - doubt , or pain . If you are dealing with infertility and dealing with poorly placed social comments you will be okay . Don 't ever ask yourself " What if I would have stuck out the treatments ? " I fully admit I am one of the lucky ones . I know my stars aligned and my daughter was born to my wife and I but the truth was that I had given up . After a failed IVF attempt I fully supported my wifeFiled under Uncategorized and tagged Advocate , assisted conception , Attain Fertility , Baby , children , Conception , daddy , Endometreosis , Family , Fatherhood , Fertility , Hope , Infertility , Infertiltiy , IUI , IVF , life , loss , love , marriage , medical , Men , misscarriage | 2 Comments If I were able to talk to my twenty - one year old self my younger self would tell my present self to get on my Back To The Future care and go to hell . My younger self would not believe the things my older self would experience . I would be either way to cool to have gone down future self 's road or I just would have not believe that " IT " could happen to me . Hey younger self could make any girl he wanted to get pregnant in less than two minutes of serious love - making . Yes older self is telling on younger self and quite frankly older self " two minutes " but at least it would be " serious " . When it comes to either of my self 's you take the old you take the bad and … . what is the rest of that sitcoms jingle anyway . Facts of Life theme song aside , my younger self would be blown away at the things he would do down the road . A twenty - one year of age strapping young man such as my younger self would have never and I mean ever gone with a girl to her gyno appointment . Younger self could certainly not have dealt with a man tinkering with his girls undercarriage right in from of him . Younger me would tell you that there may be a third person in the room but it would have been a second girl … . he only wishes . Younger me would have never admitted to anything but the highest of sperm counts . He would tell you he had a count that was so high that it mystified doctors . My older self would be so very disappointed in the way his crows feet free self viewed a woman 's part in having a child . He would have told younger self to be sensitive to his significant others feelings when she said she felt less than a woman because of the difficulties they were having in conceiving . He would make sure younger self did not blow off her feelings with a " suck it up attitude " . Younger self may have left a woman who couldn 't " get the job done " in his eyes . Younger self could be a real asshole . Older self is educated to infertility norms . Older self recognizes that it is not unusual to get angry at friends when they are pregnant and that he should not judge his wife for feeling such anger . He gets that she will be more sensitive . Older self gets that he will feel less a man because there is nothing he can do to make her feel better . Younger self would tell you that not only could he keep his girl feeling happy and secure but if he could not ( and he would never admit he could not ) he would simply trade her in for a less bitchy model . Younger self would not talk about his short comings in a blog if a such thing even existed then . Infertility Awareness makes a man out of you . It makes you aware of others feelings . It forces you to listen and to come to grips with what you do not know . It teaches you patience and to understand the facts of your infertility but to fight them with every tool and practice medically assisted conception has to offer . Yes my younger self may have been a jerk but with the power of an amazing woman as a partner , a good fertility clinic , and love he became a better person and eventually a father . I hate to admit it but infertility taught me what should not be taken for granted .
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I am guessing that the year is 1957 . My brother Dwight and I received a new train together from Santa Claus . My dad had a windup toy metal donkey . It had a tail that would spin making the donkey shake and move in circles . We were poor and it kind of shows . The old rocker in the foreground recovered with towels . The saggy couch in the back and a line up of old rockers on the right . The linoleum floors reminded me that the marbles rolled east to west when released . The house was an old house with no insulation and it sat on the top of a hill in southern Iowa . When the wind would blow the house would be cold through and through and sometimes frost would form on the wallpaper . My dad had hair and it was dark . My mom had the same hair style most of her life . My older brother Dwight is behind my dad , barely showing . I am standing around watching my brother take the photo . A camera was a pretty fancy thing for our family at that time . This must of been the year my oldest brother Ron got a Brownie camera for Christmas . He would have been the one taking the photo , using up those expensive flashbulbs that would be like an explosion in a glass ball . I don 't know where the one other brother would be during this time . The wooden shelving thing on the wall full of photos and salt and pepper shakers is in storage in my basement today . I really think this is the only Christmas shot that we ever took my whole life time . In a balloon race they are to all take off from another location at the same time . They then land onto this location . Sometimes the wind currents takes a balloon hostage and the balloonists have to pass on by as they will miss the place altogether . The people in the basket take it with stride and wave as they float on by knowing that it is not a pure controlled science . I guess there must be an emergency field somewhere down the way , like a hay field that they can land onto . Many participants in Seipia Saturday create blogs to share . They all tend to follow the same theme . If you click HERE SEPIA SATURDAY you will be able to go to the main site to view other versions of the theme . I don 't believe I have any archived photos of people playing musical instruments . My three brothers played wind instruments . This brother played a baritone and my older brother played the french horn . Even though it was a french horn he did march in the Murray High School band . I do think that my older brother Ron did have his photo taken at the same time as this one but I don 't seem to have it in any of my boxes of photos . The uniform , which was purple and white , was fancy and each member was required to wear white dress pants . The moms of the members were required to sew a purple cloth band down the side of the pants . With white shoes and a barrel tube hat with a brim , they looked really great . They had ostrich feathers to stick into the top of the hat . The practice times of the band when they were marching outside was at the same time as we had recess . Students would line up and follow the band as they marched . I am sure it looked like a good " Spanky and our Gang " type of movie with all those little urchins marching behind the high school band members . I think it funny now that no one bothered to makes us stop doing that . I would think the music instructor would have been out there but I guess the majorette was in charge of the band 's practice . No teacher on duty either so it would have made for great chaos . The feather top notches are still used today by marching bands . As I do remember now that I do have a photo of both of my sons in band uniforms . Unfortunately they are in photo form as the computer wasn 't invented yet for private citizens to use . Maybe I can put that on my lists of things to find when I do have some free time . I see many band hats , as we use to call them , are on sale on the internet . The photo has been swiped or borrowed from the sales site of ebay . Those who are responding to the call of posting in SEPIA SATURDAY can be found by clicking on the Sepia Saturday name . You will find others who are posting about musical things or maybe something else altogether differently than that . Posted by An old photo of four men who caugth some fish from the river . Times look tough so they will have meat on the table for supper . My grandfather is the one who isn 't wearing bib overalls . I don 't have any idea of who the other guys are but my grandfathers name was Leroy Martin Brown . The heavy eyebrows were inherited by a couple of generations beyond him . I had a uncle and his son that did look like him on the family tree branch . My cousin Gerald looks like him now as he is older than probably than my grandfather in the photo back then . Leroy died in 1937 from TB and is buried in Moon Cemetery near Macksburg , Iowa . These three guys are all giving us that stare except for the young ones on the end . The short guy is my Uncle Donald , my dad Jesse Burgus is the second one from the left . Uncle Ralph , Uncle Carl and then Uncle Cecil ends up the lineup . My dad was born in 1917 and if he looks 12 years old here it would date the photo as 1929 . Ten years later he would be dating my mom and getting married and a couple of years later he was on his way to fight in the Battle of the Bulge in Germany . These guys all had a German father and grandfather and a British mother and grandmother . One more gaze from the Uncle Weaver Wheeler and his wife Ellen . I could imagine him having a car as he seemed to do well in figuring out how to make money . He and his wife lived away from the rest of the family up in Hardin County , Iowa . It is number 301 posting for the group and I hope to see more posting from me . It is a pleasure to share and to remember . Visit others on SEPIA SATURDAY by clicking on the name . See all who have created blogs to join a group of people from all over the world . Posted by I started on Week 11 . I had to look it up . I really didn 't think that I could compete with the big ones who post so well and write so well , but I have hung in there . I have stumbled a long the way and found life to be too busy to post . I have always come back . Not with the gusto that I once had but with the same interest that I had when I first began . Family shots were my priority as I tried to organize and identify so many photos of my family 's past . The above photo is of my dad , creeping up on my two oldest brothers who are sitting in the yard . As I look at it I am believe they are trying to get the boys to look at the camera and smile . The little girl is a first cousin that I have never met , lost because of a divorce , from family connections . She and the guys are all older than me as I am not born yet in this photo taken probably in 1943 . The discoveries have been great , As I met blog deadlines I surprisingly found a photo of my grandparents visiting the Pacific ocean . The took a train across the United States to Oregon to visit their grandson . The boy is a year older than me and my grandfather died later in the year . I never met him but Charlie was said to be a friendly old man . I found a shot of two great great aunts . They were my great grandmothers sisters . I have only a newspaper copy of a reunion that my mom and others attend 70 plus years ago . The family name was Maxsun . My Great Grandmother on my mother 's side was Carrie Rosella Maxson Brown Driver . The two woman above are two of her sisters and the photo identifies them with their married names . The woman on the left is Ida Roberts and on the right is Cara Brown . To have found this photo and it actually would be my Great great aunts is all amazing to me . Two other sisters were Jane Henderson and Ellen Boward . That would make seven in total in the Maxson Family . Because of this blog I was forced to find the facts and meet more family than I knew existed . Because of this blog I learned to tell the difference between my Grandpa Leroy Brown and my other Grandpa Charles Burgus . I use to confuse them and would put the wrong name on each . This is my Grandfather Leroy Brown shown left . This is the photo of my Grandfather Charles Thomas Burgus . I never knew either one of them . Grandpa Brown died of TB in 1937 . Grandfather Burgus died the year before I was born in 1949 . Sometimes my blog seems like a train wreck as I get started telling a story and it just plain derails before I am done . I like that the purpose of the site is to share photos of the past and if one knows the history then you get to tell your story . I am so glad that I can post on the week 300 . Thanks for stopping by and check out the others who are posting on the 300th week anniversary . Click on Sepia Saturday Posts and see what others are sharing . Posted by At the south end of Lake Superior , the deepest clear water lake in the world , sits a harbor . Duluth , Minnesota , where there is a lot of history in the shipping of lumber , iron ore and other products that are shipped all over the world . The entrance to the harbor has a draw bridge that raises up to allow the ships to move through the channel . The harbor has a lot of history with the people thriving on fishing and companies shipping goods . The view is towards the inlet of the Atlantic ocean near Bar Harbor , Maine . The bridge from one dock to another is crucial as the one dock raises and lowers with the tide . The chains are there to keep things from floating away . When the tide is down the chains are long enough to stay connected as things drop 12 feet or more . A bridge in the same area to all the docks is used the photo of my youngest son and his wife . It was their wedding day and they had been married on Cadilllac Mountain earlier . This was taken a few years ago . Among my dad 's war photos is this one of Belgium children fishing off of the bridge . The time in history would be around the 1940 's and soldiers are waiting to be shipped out to go to the front of the Battle of the Bulge , trying to send the German front troops back into their own country . I don 't think my dad is one of these guys but I can 't be sure . The one guy has borrowed a pole from the kids to see what he can do . I have had this photo around for a while but never noticed that it originally was a metal bridge and it must have been bomb . A makeshift wooden bridge has been interwoven into the old metal one . I searched my archives for bridges and I know I have more . They just didn 't show up for me . Others are blogging on Sepia Saturday . You can click HERE to go to the main site to find all the other links . Posted by I will post this temporarily for you BCIRISH as you left me no email address . I did not get permission to share this so once you read it will you please let me know so that I can remove it from the net . I hope this will give you some information to help you with your visit to family home town and house . Posted by The older looking building in Des Moines , Iowa is the Polk County courthouse . It still stands today and is on the National Registry . The building itself is designed with a combinations of decorations from so many historic buildings from overseas . The present courthouse was built in 1906 on the same square as the previous courthouse . It was built for $ 750 , 000 in the Beaux - Arts style . It was designed by the Des Moines architectural firm of Proudfoot and Bird . The original columns , stairways and walls were constructed in marble . Murals on the fourth floor were painted by Charles A . Cummings and Edward Simmons . This is full view of the back of the building as I took the shot from a parking lot on Saturday . I am always amazed at the mixture of all of the architectural details of so many buildings found in Venice , Athens , Rome and the country of Greece . Notice the sharp contrast of a modern building to the left that declares no decoration other than line and value . A quick look of the reality of the shot is shown here in color . I am glad that the building is protected and the people will just build a newer building elsewhere . Just for fun I want to share this one other older building in downtown Des Moines . It has had some form of a bar on the main floor for many years . I saw it still standing while downtown on Saturday and I had to get a shot of it . I had thought the building had been torn down . By the signs in the windows I think that it is still a bar . One final photo , just for fun , is of this modern building that sits to the left of the courthouse . It is an interesting modern building with one decoration that has become famous . The front of the building has the typical modern design for an accent to its look . It is said the architect did not know that when it is lighted at night that the shape of a Seagram 's Whiskey bottle would be in view . The building could not light some of the windows to prevent the bottle from showing up but now it has become its trademark even though it is not a Seagram 's building . Following the theme today , sort of , I wanted to share the only few personal shots that I have with bicycles in them . The above one was dumped at my garbage bin a few years ago and it remains as a decoration in my yard . I have ridden the bike and I definitely need to start riding it again . Here again is the scene that was taken in the fall before the snow started to fall . Our town has a bike trail that extends out of our town and goes east over an old train bridge . The bridge in 13 stories tall and is now a major attraction for Iowa as people can take the trail for miles after crossing it . Our town people are putting bikes out in their yards for decoration to help promote the High Trestle Trail Bridge . I have lived here long enough to remember the sounds of the train at night loading grain . The rails were removed 10 years or more as all grain is now trucked elsewhere for shipping . The bike leans against my river birch tree even though I should move it closer to the road to make it visible for visitors in town . This is a photo of myself and my older brother Dwight . It is 1956 in Southern Iowa on our family farm . The photo was taken in the fall with our old farm house in the background . I was 6 years old and in the 1st grade by this time and my brother would have been 9 and in 4th grade . I couldn 't get on that bike as I was too small . We both are wearing hand me down clothes as we have two older brothers . I was wearing Dwight 's old clothes in this photo . Memories brought back from the picture included the two locust trees with large thorns . You had to be careful to not walk under them without shoes . The concrete structure is a cistern that my dad would fill with water from a farm pond . The pond is south and water was pumped by a gasoline engine a long ways to be poured in to the holding tank . The water was used for washing clothes and running the bathroom water . Drinking water came from a well with me carrying the buckets of water to the house twice a day . I did that chore with glee but never understanding why the older brother never had a single chore . I guess I was too complying and should have rebelled a little . Another memory was the wind break that was planted to help stop the northern winds from blowing at the house . It really should have been made with evergreen trees as the stems and twigs of those kind of trees didn 't block much wind . The house actually sat on the top of a steep hill and it was a very cold house . My room with my my older brother was the top window in the house . It was the north west corner , the coldest room in the house in the winter . The house had no insulation it was never warm inside in the winter . The house was torn down by family members in 1959 and a new ranch house replaced it . It was a very warm house inside during the winter . To follow with the theme of the last phot is the shot of me and my brothers when I was a couple of years younger . We are sharing our pets to the world with the dog Tippie and two of the cats of the many that we had on the farm . From left to right is Rex Burgus , born in 1943 , Ron Burgus born in 1941 , Dwight Burgus born in 1947 , d . 2008 , and myself born in 1950 . The oldest brother who is smaller , has lived most of his life in Mesa . Arizona . The taller brother Rex has lived most of his life in California , near the Disneyland area . Me of course stuck in Iowa all of my life . I do live in the north central part of Iowa and not down in the south anymore . Visit others who are participating in Sepia Saturday and areL . D . at My Grandfather Charles Thomas Burgus with his bride Grace Elizabeth Turner Burgus . I originally was going to share this on Valentine 's day but things got too distracting so I just have saved it for now . The last photo I share today is the one that inspired the whole posting . I don 't have a date for this marriage . I am searching cousin 's things and found out the first grandchild was born in 1928 . So this photo has to be around the early 1900 's , The first four of ten children that were born are shown here with Cecil , Carl , Ruby and Mary Burgus . This photo is a new one that I had never seen before now . It was shared by my first cousin . She is one of the older of my first cousins who has photos of my grandparents in their younger days . Her mother , my aunt Ruby , is the little girl standing by her dad . Fast forward with the then 10 children . I am guessing the date here to be 1937 or later . I don 't know but my dad , front left , would have been 20 years old being born in 1917 . It was said that Grandma Burgus had scarlet fever as an adult and her hair fell out from it . Her hair came back in as pure white . Here is a new photo for me to see from my cousin 's sharing of it . Charlie and Grace take a trip from the central United States , Murray , Iowa in 1948 . They took a train all the way to the west coast to Washington State , to visit their youngest son Donald and his wife Eileen . They are holding their grandson Gary . He was born in 1948 . Concerns were made from their grown up children as they were too elderly to make the trip . The very next year in 1949 Charlie did die . It looks like the trip was a lot of fun for them . Charlie had heard stories from his grandfather about crossing the ocean from Germany and he wanted to see that ocean . Being from the younger end of the family I never met my grandfather . I did know my grandmother but she had reached an age where she didn 't communicate with her grandchildren . She lived another 20 years or more beyond her husband 's death . Join me in visiting the other blogs on Sepia Saturday who are share photos from the past and stories from the past . Click here to find the listing on the original Sepia Saturday site . Posted by When you are the younges kid of four , you do notice size differences in many ways . The world around you seems so big . I am the shortest guy here being 4 years old . My oldest brother Ron is behind me . Notice being oldest doesn 't make you the tallest . That was a problem for Ron and he didn 't like it . Rex the tallest was a couple of years younger . My brother next to me , Dwight , always was bigger than me and always tried to be dominate over me in every way both size and of importance . I lost Dwight a few years ago when he was 61 years old . In this picture he is 7 years old . It bothered him that I grew up and was successful as he liked to keep his thumb on me . Also in the conclusion of size , Dwight did end up being the tallest even though he was third youngest . Both of my first cousins are small here . They are about the same age , under 4 years old and you can see Gene is showing his cousin Jeanette that he can touch the top of her head My great grandma Driver shows off her second family . The smallest is required to stand and the one boy in the middle is standing on the chair . I never thought of it before but I bet Grandma Driver was originally sitting in the chair and the kids were not cooperating . You can see grandma pointing to the camera telling the girl she is holding to look that way . It is a complicated story but this is my great grandma Driver 's second family . My grandfather Brown was in her first family of two boys . This second family are all half cousins of mine , twice removed . Those young kids in the photos all still live in the Osceola , Iowa area . While looking for big and small photos I ran across this photo of me . It would fit the theme if I showed a 65 year old man next to it but that isn 't going to happen . It is 1953 in the summer and we moved from this rented farm during the coming winter during a rain storm . The roads were dirt back then so we moved by tractor and wagon slipping and sliding on mud roads . The photo 's intention was to show the watermelon juice running down by belly . I can see that I wasn 't allowed to eat it in the house . I wonder if they kept me in a shed outside as to not to make a mess in the house when I eat . Thanks for stopping by today on my site . Check out all the other blogger friends ' postings today by clicking on SEPIA SATURDAY to find a listing of those who are posting about BIG AND SMALL . Posted by Some of them are more humorous using the dog in a basket to be cute . I think this card had a base on it originally so that it could stand up to be appreciated . The sailor boy has his eyes on his valentine and I do notice she is looking back at him too . As I write this I do have a memory of one of the valentines being older than 1930 's . My mom 's oldest brother was sent to live with an uncle during his teen years for a couple of reasons . He was suppose to help with farming . The second reason was that he was ill - tempered and his parents , my grandmother and grandfather , couldn 't make him behave . One valentine that was in the pile was one from Uncle Lee 's kids and my mom 's brother . That would date that one card in the 1920 's . The googly - eyed girl here reminds me of the old movie stars and their big eyes . It is manufactured from a company completely different than all the other ones that are in the pile . It has a glossy ink on it . Hallmark now controls most of the market with their very beautiful Valentine cards . Some are very serious and some are funny to read also . It is sometimes hard to find the just right card as the people of Hallmark write all that they think we might like to share with our loved ones . Check out all the others who are participating with SEPIA SATURDAY today by clicking here . I have joined many others who will be sharing their thoughts on this Valentine 's Day . Posted by
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So this was too funny to pass up writing about . So , we set up our Christmas stuff this weekend including our Fisher Price Nativity set . It 's great because it is a nativity set that the kids can fully play with . So I happened to overhear McKell and Ashlee playing with it and here is how it went . . . McKell ( holding a random Santa figure ) : Hi baby Jesus , it 's me , Santa . Ashlee ( holding baby Jesus ) : HelloMcKell : Baby Jesus , what do you want for Christmas this year ? Ashlee : I dont ' knowMcKell ( now being herself and VERY exasperated ) : ( sigh ) Ashlee , long ago when Jesus was a baby , Santa asked him what he wanted for his Christmas present and of course he told Santa that he wanted scriptures . So on Christmas night , after Jesus went to sleep , Santa brought baby Jesus a set of scriptures and when he woke up on Christmas morning , he was SO excited . " Ashlee : Uh . . . okay . So , there you have it folks . The Christmas story according to McKell . I guess it 's better than Baby Jesus asking for Star Wars toys or a new bike . . . . As another Thanksgiving day comes to a close , I feel the need to finish my thoughts of gratitude . It was a wonderful Thanksgiving at my parents ' home with way too much yummy food , games , visiting , etc . It was a great day . Here are a few more things I am thankful for today . 1 . My Parents - Where would I be without these two amazing people ? Well , of course I wouldn 't be here at all . My parents are rocks and are a true example to me . I am so grateful that they raised 9 children and that they do all that they can to keep us close and connected . I am grateful for the countless lessons they have taught me in my life . I am thankful for my dad 's continual fount of wisdom and experience , to know that he is ALWAYS there when I need him , that he can give me a " Hey Sis " and everything seems more manageable , and that he is truly one of my best friends . I am grateful that I am close to my mom and that we have a great relationships . That we go thrift store shopping together , talk almost every day , and that she is always a listening ear and understands what I am going through as a mother . I don 't know why I was blessed to be their daughter , but I am so grateful that I am . 2 . Family - I already wrote about my own family , but I want to express gratitude for my family that I grew up in and their families . I am the 8th of 9 children - the baby girl . With any large family , we have a true mix of personalities , joys , struggles , and love . I am so grateful that for the most part , our family gets along and loves each other . We have fun together and know that in the end , we have each others ' backs . I am also grateful for Rob 's family and what I have learned from them . I am grateful that they helped mold and raise such a wonderful man . 3 . Friends - I am grateful for friends in my life . I have been blessed to live in many places and the friends that I have made in all of those places are great treasures in my life . True friends are those that you can be away from for years , but as soon as you see them , you pick right back up where you left off . Posted by Well , I finally met the fabulous and famous Dr John Macfarlane . My sister - in - law , Juliann , introduced me to this great doctor . Poor Juliann has had numerous spinal fusions and various issues with her back , so I fully trusted her recommendation to see Dr . Macfarlane . First , I must say , he is hilarious . A doctor with great bedside manner . . . I thought they may be a dying breed . But he was a hoot and the poor guy had to deal with me and Juliann at the same time . Something no man should ever have to do . . . just ask our poor husbands . Anyway , he looked at my MRI 's and I have a herniated disc in my lower neck and an annular tear as well . This is what is causing the numbness in the back of my neck , down my arm , etc . I also have a herniated disc and tear in my lower back which is why I am having such awful pain there and numbness , pain down my leg , etc . I also have a lot of joint issues apparently which are not good . So , the prognosis for now is that I continue doing physical therapy for the next few months and hope that it can fix this . If not , we can try cortizone shots . OUCH . And if all else fails , we 'll look at surgery . So , that is the update for now . If nothing else , it was a blast meeting Dr Macfarlane . Now I see why Juliann loves him ! I 'm sure he thought we had completely lost our minds when we asked for a picture , but hey , we HAD to document this one . Posted by So as some may know , we were supposed to be having McKell and Ashlee 's tonsil / adenoid / ear tube surgery done today . We bought a freezer full of popsicles , ice cream , etc . We got all of their homework from school . We rearranged their room and rented a ton of movies as well as bought lots of coloring books , etc . Mostly , we finally got both of them somewhat okay about the whole thing . So last night , we get a phone call to let us know the time of surgery . In the phone call , it came up that Ashlee had a cough last weekend . It sounded kind of croupy , but that is just Ashlee 's " allergy cough " . It was fine by the next day . But apparently , the word " croup " and pending surgery is not good . I told that lady registering us that it was allergies , but she wanted to verify with the anesthesiologist . Fine . So I get a call back saying that she had talked to him and he was concerned , but if I felt okay with it and thought she was okay , then we would be fine . Super ! So , we plan for it . I am out until 11 : 00 getting the above - mentioned post - surgery treats . We are then up until 1 : 30 so we can feed the girls a meal before the official pre - surgery fast begins . We arrange for someone to take Cayden after school . We arrange for Sadie . Rob takes the day off . etc . We get to the hospital , check in , get vitals , the girls get completely in their gowns etc . and we are in the process of a photo op when both the surgeon and anesthesiologist come in and drop the bomb that they are not comfortable doing surgery on Ashlee and that the policy is that they have to wait 4 weeks after any type of croup . I immediately go to the " bad place " . They won 't budge . Apparently , if the airway is already inflamed due to croup or a cough , then putting a breathing tube in for surgery can aggravate it more and then cause breathing problems after the surgery which obviously can be very dangerous . Okay , I can understand that . What I CANNOT understand is why on earth this was not told to me last night ! ? Apparently a big lack of communication occurred between the lady regPosted by So yesterday I made this " Give Thanks " banner . The picture isn 't great , but it was a lot of fun to do . It was a semi - copy of the one my cute friend , Dorey , gave me for Halloween . Thanks Dorey ! You have created a monster ! Also yesterday , I was going through some documents on my computer and came across one that was really cool to read . It was written back in 2002 and I just took the time that day to write down the things that I was grateful for . Cayden was only 3 and the twins were only about 6 months . Here is what it said : I have a WONDERFUL husband who is a unbelievable dad to our kids . He is Cayden 's best buddy and is so sweet to our girls . They flirt with him and have him wrapped around all 20 of their fingers ! He treats me like a queen and is always supporting me in my " me time " when I need it . He works so hard to provide for our family so that I can stay home with our kids . He has endless patience for me and my rantings ! Cayden is my sweet litle guy ! I can 't believe he will be 3 in a few weeks . He is growing up too fast ! He is full of love and sweetness and loves to snuggle and give " big hugs " . He 's like my little teddy bear . I love to hear him sing his songs even though he doesn 't know all the words . I love that he loves me even when I am not the best mom . I love that when I am having a hard day , he comes to me and asks , " What 's wrong ? Are you okay ? " I love that he gets so excited lately when his pants have pockets to put his hands in . He is the sweetest and most wonderful little boy in the world . My sweet Ashlee is getting more roly and poly every day . I love her adorable dimples in her cheeks . I love listening to her coo in her little deep voice . I love that she gives everyone a big smile when she sees them . I love being the one to get her out of bed because she is so happy to see me . I love that she is a snuggler and that she loves to hold my finger while I feed her . She is an angel . And finally , my sweet little McKell . She is full of spunk and curiosity . My late Grandma always called her " the nosy one " and sPosted by I cannot believe that 9 years ago today , I became a mother . Time has flown by so quickly and I can 't believe that I have a 9 year old today . Cayden Robert Peacock was born in Boise , Idaho weighing in at 8 lbs 4 oz ( He was 3 weeks early , so who knows how big he REALLY would have been ! ) He looked like his daddy from the very beginning and was known as " mini - me " . Cayden has always been a joy and such a special boy . He has a giant spirit and we know he was one of the noble and great ones that the scriptures talk about . Cayden was a big boy from the beginning and is truly a gentle giant . Here are 9 things that I celebrate today on Cayden 's 9th birthday . 1 . Cayden loves everyone . He really doesn 't know how to be mean spirited . This is sometimes hard because this makes him very vulnerable , but because he is such a likable kid , he usually wins everyone over . He has a gift to love and accept everyone . He is especially kind to those younger than him . He always tries to include others . In Cayden 's opinion , it is always " The more the merrier ! " 2 . Cayden LOVES to learn . He gets this from his dad . He has a natural curiosity and loves to find out how things work , where things come from , etc . and he retains things just like his dad . I often joke that I knew my kids would outsmart me at some point , I just didn 't think it would be in kindergarten ! Cayden is an excellent student and I have yet to meet any of his teachers who don 't absolutely adore him ! He is always doing experiments , making projects . etc . 3 . Cayden is great at trying new things and doesn 't give up . Even when things don 't come particularly easy to him , he finds a way to push through and make it fun . For instance , he has played soccer for quite a few years and at first we were worried because he wasn 't as fast or skilled as some of the other kids because of his size . But Cayden never gave up and is now one of the best soccer players around . He still isn 't the fastest , but he is a force to be reckoned with and scored quite a few goals already this season . He also startedRob and Marci Peacock I wanted to give a quick update on the status of our car accidents . So , first about Rob . He has his new Honda Civic ( although I know deep down inside he misses driving the hot blue mini van to work ! ) . Unfortunately , he is still having pain in his left shoulder . He is having to do physical therapy 3 times a week . He has some soft tissue damage and muscle damage that they are working on . He is supposed to schedule an MRI when he gets a free minute . We will be finding out more about his settlement once we know more detail of his injuries . As far as my accident , it is still quite complicated . I finally got my Sequoia back . It cost over $ 5000 to fix it ! I couldn 't believe that . After really thinking about it , I think my accident was a lot worse than I originally thought because I was so focused on Rob and his accident that I don 't think I even remotely realized the severity of my accident . Anyway , we have the car back . I had both of my MRI 's done last week . One on my lower back where it is still very painful with the pain going all the way down my left leg . And one MRI on my lower neck where it also still hurts a lot and is completely numb . I just heard back that the MRI 's show that I have a herniated disc in my lower back and also a herniated disc in my neck with also a torn disc in my neck . So now , I get to see a neurosurgeon to find out what to do next . We now are starting the battle of getting the guy who hit me to take responsibility which will be an uphill battle . I am in pain pretty much all the time with it being worse usually at night . I 'm not supposed to lift or sit at the computer or work too much . So , that is the update . Thanks to everyone who has asked about us and kept us in your thoughts and prayers . We really appreciate it ! I love my sweet little girls . They love each other and love to be to be together . I just had to take some pictures of them yesterday before church . This past weekend we had Cayden 's big 9th birthday party . He decided to do a Star Wars clone Wars party and invited over 40 kids ! He has so many friends at church , school , cousins , etc . that we couldn 't leave anyone out . But trust me , this was one of the biggest undertakings I have done in a while and I am the one who needed the " force " with me . We decided to make his party an official Jedi training camp . When the kids got here , they each got a Jedi uniform and badge . I made the girls white uniforms to be more Princess Leia - ish . We then had lunch including " Yoda Soda " ( green punch with dry ice . . . they all thought this was very cool ! ) , hot dogs , chips , and birthday cake . Needless to say , it was a NOISY bunch ! Thank goodness it was decent weather outside because that is where we headed next . I made about 30 lightsabers out of swim noodles and PVC pipe . Thank goodness I have awesome neighbors and family who donated swim noodles to the cause because I couldn 't find swim noodles ANYWHERE in stores this time of year ! I made them all take a Jedi oath that they couldn 't use their weapons for hurting others etc . or they would lose their weapons and not graduate as a true Jedi . We went outside after that and did some weapon practice . Rob had downloaded all of the Star Wars music including the " Darth Vader " theme and after the kids had practiced their lightsaber skills , Rob cranked that music from inside the house and he came out fully dressed as Darth Vader . He looked pretty darn cool and in typical Rob fashion , had the Vader voice down to a tee and really played it up . The kids thought this was pretty cool . They stood in line and each took a turn battling Darth Vader . Too funny ! After that , we played " Save the planet " aka hot potato game with a planet ball . Then they had target practice where they got to shoot down different Star Wars action figures with the dart guns . We played Jedi bingo with Rob doing his freaky Yoda voice and then did the pinata . I am proud to say that they ALL passed their Jedi training and received tPosted by Sorry this is a bit late , but I wanted to post some photos of our Halloween and trick or treating . It was a really nice day . The kids had the day off from school so we spent the day cleaning the house , getting ready for Halloween , making treats , etc . We had a small kink in the day when we got a call saying our Sequoia was done ( over $ 5000 later . . . yikes ! ) and we needed to return the awesome blue mini van . But we are definitely happy to have our Sequoia back . . . all except Ashlee who in typical fashion had a sad moment of saying goodbye to the van . Halloween night we ate some pizza and then headed out trick or treating . For the first time ever , we were some of the first ones out on the street . The weather was actually great aside from a few sprinkles . Sadie had a GREAT time in her stroller . She was in heaven ! About half way through , Rob brought Sadie and Ashlee home and Cayden and McKell and I continued on . I think McKell could have gone all night ! It was another wonderful Halloween ! The whole gang ready to go Trick or Treating Our sweet little Sadie cat ( originally she was a bee , but hated the costume , so we opted for the cat ) Anakin Sywalker ready for battle . . . and candy ! Our cute cheerleader , McKell . Do you think McKell loves candy ? I think her face says it ALL ! Ashlee the cutest little clown . Okay , I really don 't have the time to do this today . I have 40 kids invited to a Star Wars birthday party tomorrow and still have a TON to do . But I feel the need to vent right now , so that is what I will do . I just read a comment on another blog concerning Proposition 8 . The obviously angry person ( whom I don 't even know ) posted the question , " What right do the darn Mormons have to tell anyone they can 't get married ! ? I 'm glad people are protesting outside the temples . I 'm embarrassed I used to be a Mormon . They are such hypocrites ! " So , I figure that question was posed , so I will take the opportunity to answer it . What " right " do those darn Mormons have ? Uh . . . they have EVERY right . They , just like you , are American citizens . They have the right to vote . They have the freedom to speak what they feel . They have every right to say their thoughts and views on a law in their state . And really , are you seriously going to play the " Mormons are hypocrites " card ? Because here is what I find hypocritical . I think it is INCREDIBLY hypocritcal to be condemning one group of people for exercising their American right to vote , while cheering for another group who is exercising their freedom of speech as they protest outside of Mormon temples . So , which is it ? Either we ALL have the same rights as Americans , or we don 't . Some argue that the Mormon church should have stayed out of this and let their members decide for themselves . Why ? Isn 't that another right we have as Americans ? To worship as we wish ? And as part of that freedom of religion , the Mormon leaders have every right to weigh in and share with their followers direction and guidance as they see fit . And then it is the right of those members to exercise their freedom and vote as they wish . Just like any Catholic American , Muslim American , etc . It really doesn 't matter which side you stand on in this issue . For me ? I stand on the side of America and I stand on the side of our Founding Fathers who made it possible for American citizens to be on different sides of an issuePosted by So this week , the kids and I were talking a lot about the election , getting a new president , etc . On Wednesday morning on the way to school , I told the kids that we now had a new president . They asked me who won and I told them it was Barrack Obama . Cayden was really excited about that . Then Ashlee , from the back seat says , " Mom , I am confused . Why does our new president have a rock in his bumma ? " At first , I had no clue what she was saying . She was really concerned about it . And then it hit me . When I said our new president was Barrack Obama , she thought I said our new president has a rock in his bumma . Cayden and McKell about fell out of their seats laughing and Ashlee realized she had made a funny joke . I explained that this was our new president 's name and that no , he didn 't have a rock in his bumma . She thought for a minute and then said , " Mom was that a funny joke ? Cause you know , I made that up myself ! " Yes , Ashlee , we know . " I want to take dance class like McKell ! You know , it 's REALLY boring just being a NORMAL person ! " - Ashlee after McKell 's Christmas dance recital " Mommy , I think you were much better before you got married . You had bangs , you were a little prettier , and you weren 't exhausted all the time . " - McKell Cayden - " Mommy , I am very concerned that Santa is really you . " Mommy " Cayden , you know what happens to kids that don 't believe in Santa . They get nothing . " Cayden " That 's why I said I was CONCERNED , not that I didn 't believe ! " " Mommy , I really think it might be easier just to keep a baby in your tummy . She was MUCH easier to take care of in there ! " - McKell
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