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Well I have been taking a ProBio Enzyme vitamin thingy - horsepill is what I call them lol . I 've been taking them for the past three days , maybe four don 't remember honestly right now , just one a day . I was desperate after nearly two weeks of pain , intermittent nausea , feeling like Freddy Krueger was trying to claw his way out of my stomach and exhaustion I figured what the heck ya know ? Today I woke up kinda feeling icky still as well as tired but right now I feel better . I have actually been in front of the computer for a straight hour and a half or so and I might just open up my art programs . First time in three days . I still won 't push it though because I was feeling better last week and I did 4 loads of laundry and a bunch of cleaning and woke up the next morning feeling really bad so I am taking it easy this time . No pushing it until I am back to 100 % . This is not easy for me , I am one of those who always goes goes goes , lifting 80 lb bags of salt or 30 lbs of tile , move whole entertainment centers , tv 's beds etc by myself but these last two weeks have been murder not only on my body but on my spirit . I am not going to grow old gracefully . I will be going kicking and screaming the whole way lol . I have admitted that I am getting older , I 'm 40 now and my body is changing , it 's undeniable and not preventable HOWEVER that doesn 't mean I have to give in and help it become decrepit . Once I feel better I will be going at it even harder than before , like the working world where ya have to be twice as good just to be considered equal , you have to be twice as fit to be " normal " ( for lack of a better term - metal pause ya know lol ) Anyway , I have alot to work on now , we have a grab bag coming at HODS and I will be having my first sale over at Moo Two so I have to really get my butt in gear and make some wonderful items for all of you nice people ; ) Here 's one of my new items available now at both HODS and Moo Two : There 's more to come but since some will be in my grab bag , I can 't really tell you what they are now can ILabels : I have seen these before , but some of them are soooo true so I thought I would pass the giggles along ; ) Enjoy ! ONLY IN AMERICA : Only in America . . . . . . do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front . Only in America . . . . . . . do people order double cheeseburgers , large fries , and a diet coke . Only in America . . . . . . do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters . Only in America . . . . . . do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage . Only in America . . . . . do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight . Only in America . . . . . . . do they have drive - up ATM machines with Braille lettering . EVER WONDER . . . . Why the sun lightens our hair , but darkens our skin ? Why women can 't put on mascara with their mouth closed ? ! Why don 't you ever see the headline " Psychic Wins Lottery " ? Why is " abbreviated " such a long word ? Why is it that doctors call what they do " practice " ? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor , and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons ? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker ? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour ? Why isn 't there mouse - flavored cat food ? Why didn 't Noah swat those two mosquitoes ? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections ? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes ? Why don 't they make the whole plane out of that stuff ? ! Why don 't sheep shrink when it rains ? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together ? If con is the opposite of pro , is Congress the opposite of progress ? If flying is so safe , why do they call the airport the terminal ? Just one more off the top of my head : Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway ? I know there are more but I am braindead right now ( Mentalpause is just so cruel lol ) OK so I went all the way to the Doctor 's office only to find out that they scheduled it for NEXT Tuesday . ARGH . So there ya go , just to prove my point this whole month of June that I paid for and NO INSURANCE used . Anyway , no reason to make everyone else miserable so I thought I would give you this last piece of the mini - kit ! Get Wet - The Elements is this download . Now the elements are shown in full size , just the way they will be when you place them on a 12 X 12 LO at 300 DPI . I did them larger for two reasons . One , it makes it easier if you want to thread them with ribbon and two , I thought the drops would be cool to put a few smaller photos in . It 's easier to scale them down without loosing their sharpness than to make them larger . Also , I missed one element in the preview . There is a blue and white stripped curled ribbon included . Please do NOT SHARE this file but send people here to my blog to download instead . Also , remember a little bit of love goes a long way and it 's just good manners ; ) Click on the image to download if you would like these elements . Well , I finally have a doctor 's appointment for the boys . Thank God ! It took long enough . The insurance kicked in June 1st but by the time you go through all the hoops and get an appointment set up . . . here we are the 26th of June . But at least they have their appointment and I can get the ball rolling . Which brings me to another point . ( I know you 're thinking ut oh here she goes lol ) Seriously though think about it . You pay for Medical Insurance - ahead of time . So in May your pay for June . Whether your payment is $ 20 or $ 200 or $ 600 a month , it doesn 't matter really to prove my point . But for the sake of argument and round numbers let 's just say you pay $ 100 a month for insurance . You make the payment in May for June insurance . ( This applies to people just starting coverage or getting new coverage etc ) Now you need to wait for your insurance cards and most people I have seen , they don 't get them until after the " covered " month has begun . So now you 're out what ? A week , maybe two all depending . Now , you need to call the doctor to make an appointment but they are always out at least a week , usually two or three depending on the doctor . And to keep track now we are at least two weeks into our " covered " and PAID FOR month . Then , GOD FORBID you are like me and have a plan where you can 't get to the doctor you need because FIRST you must go to your primary doctor . Now you can add AT LEAST two weeks . By the time you get your card , make the appointment , make the second appointment and get to the Doctor you really needed in the first place you are well over a month . Now my point is - and I will need to back track now - you have PAID for the month of June and probably not gotten your cards and your appointment until - like me - the end of June . Nearly 4 weeks into the insurance before I can get anything done for my boys . Now you may very well say , yeah well you have insurance and technically you are getting to use it for June . Ok fine , I will give you that , but think about this . The only reason why I got it so fast is becLabels : OK I made a mini - kit out of this , I was having fun lol . I really love the blue and white stripes always reminds me of the beach or a beach house , not sure why . Maybe because it is kind of a nautical thing . Anyway here are the papers today . I made one preview for the whole kit . PLEASE DO NOT SHARE these files with anyone but send them here to my blog to download . Also , please leave me a little love . It 's always appreciated ; ) , besides , it 's just good manners . You should know the drill , click on the image and your download will begin . Enjoy ! Just a little Quickpage I made in honor of Summertime here in the States . Rumor has it I might be offering up a few more freebies over the next week or so ; ) Remember the rules please . No sharing , if someone would like this , please send them here to my blog to download it . Also , please remember to leave some love as it helps increase the freebies and is just nice manners ; ) Just click on the image to start your download ; ) Kind of . Well I guess you could call it a rant . We 'll see when it 's done . LOL . I need to tell you this story in order to tell you my point . Sorry LOL . When I was young , I was in and out of the hospital literally every other month . I had severe asthma when I was young . Oxygen tents , IV , heck I flatlined twice ( explains alot now doesn 't it ? LMAO ) At the end of one of my bi - monthly visits I remember there was another little girl down the hall from me who always looked so sad . Somehow she had gotten burned and had her leg and arm and part of her face bandaged up . Since I was frequently at this hospital , I knew alot of the nurses and what not and once my oxygen tent was removed I was allowed to move about freely . So I went and saw this little girl but she wouldn 't talk to me , she would just smile as I acted goofy . Finally I asked her if she would like to go for a ride . I had snagged one of the small wagons from the toy room and she climbed in , still not saying a word but giggling . I pulled her out of the room and started up the hall when she spotted the water fountain . She pointed and I steered . She gripped the side of it and pulled herself up and started drinking and that was when I heard someone yell . Being around 7 myself I freaked and turned around to see about 5 nurses and orderlies running at us . I plastered myself up against the wall because I didn 't know what was going on except that suddenly all these people were there yelling and gasping and reaching for this little girl . I couldn 't get far enough into the wall to disappear so at the first shot of freedom I ran to my room and I cried . A little while later one of my favorite nurses ( I feel so bad I can 't remember her name or her face anymore just that she was sweet and had brown hair ) came in and told me that I had done nothing wrong and I shouldn 't cry . She explained that the little girl could have gotten hurt worse and that was when my Mother came in . My Mom asked what had happened and the nurse started explaining it to her but before she was done I got shoLabels : Well , aside from really having to fight off my Crohns and lousy stomach this week , I have some GOOD news ! I applied for and got a Design position at MOO TWO Designs ! I am so happy to be there . It 's such a fun site and I love that little cow lol . Anyway I am working on getting my store stocked up there so look for me soon ok ? For now I can be found haunting the forum and the gallery there ; ) . Ambowife has been busy posting her new layouts there for me so be sure to check her gallery and leave her some love ok ? This is her newest one using my Free to Fly kit ( available currently at HODS ) and the fan from my Alex 's Asian kit ( currently only available at Digi Scrap Central ) OK I have to pace myself so I am going to go for now ; ) Don 't forget to hit up the sale at Digi Scrap Central for 40 % off of mine , Shannon 's and Gail 's items ! And be sure to snag the coupon code at the top of my blog for an additional 25 % off my items ! Gail has a coupon code on her blog as well ; ) Have a great day ! Well , I don 't want to announce the great news yet lol . Sorry but I want to make sure everything is copasetic before putting it out here lol . I am feeling better though so that 's a good thing . It means I can get to working on some layouts and on the new kits I have sitting in my hard drive . I tried yesterday for a bit but my 3D program crashed on me like 4 times and Alex had to fix my computer . . . . sigh . I am thinking some of them will just turn out to be mini - kits though because I can 't seem to get much further with them . Rather than have them sit there , I will just let them be what they are . I guess all of my kits can 't be over 100 megs lol . Since today is Father 's Day , Alex has the luxury of lying around ( which he actually hates but he will like it cause I said so lol ) and watching all his favorite movies as well as a few he hadn 't had the chance to see . Right now he is watching Ocean 's 12 and giggling his butt off ; ) The boys made him breakfast in bed and got him a very sweet card . I think he is enjoying his day ; ) Tonight he gets Roast Beef and Au Gratin potatos for dinner and his mouth is salivating already ; ) Of course I will make all the trimmings too , salad , biscuits and a veggie or two . Hmmm I haven 't had lunch yet lol . Going to run now , I just wanted to pop in and say hi ; ) I promise to give you the great news within the next day or two ! I finally got one here for you . I was going to use it for Specials this month but I guess we won 't be needing it now . Anyway , here it is , a few doodles and a couple of paers and other what nots lol . As always , please do not share these files but send people here to my blog to download them . And , remember a little love goes a long way ; ) Just click on the preview to download . Free to Fly : Drop shadows were used for preview purposes only . This kit is available at my HODS store ; ) There are 4 zip files containing approximately 140 megs of items ; ) . The butterfly trails have a glittery trail on them ! I had so much fun with this kit , I hope you have as much fun using it as I had making it ; ) TFL ! Yep the one day of the month when I have to run around and pay bills and do my big grocery shopping . I am not in the mood for this . I have paid what I can online and am dreading leaving the house lol . I just don 't want to go anywhere and deal with people . I will end up putting it off as long as possible lol . I love going to BJ 's and getting a whole months food in one shot but between carrying the boxes up to the third floor and then repackaging it into nightly portions and packing it into the freezer ughhh I am just not in the mood lol . Maybe after the Advil kick in lol . Charles took his oral exam this morning and got 100 ! ! WOOHOOO ! ! ! ! ! I told him he could do it , he was struting around here like a peacock . Now he just has to take his final written exam and he will be done with Math . She had called on Monday and said he could call her back so he did an hour later but she just returned his call this morning . He 's been sweating it for two extra days . John 's finally all better now he 's just miserable because no one is around lol . Another kid who just can 't win lol . Some are still sleeping and some are at camp or wherever . Don 't forget about our 40 % off sale at DigiScrapCentral . Shannon , Gail and I are having 40 % off all of our Designs for our HOT SUMMER sale ! Also be sure to snag my blog coupon here for an ADDITONAL 25 % off my already reduced Designs ! Be sure to check Gail and Shannon 's blogs too because I believe there will be blog coupons there as well ! OK gotta run , have a great day ! SOOOOO much to do . Charles is getting ready for his oral exams , John is feeling better ( you can always tell when they start talking 90 miles an hour and asking if they can go out lol ) I have to promote my new sale at DSC - 40 % off ! I have two new kits in the works as well as 3 more of the Personal / Commercial Use Flowers PLUS I need to finish up the layouts and print them for my Pop 's Father 's Day Scrapbook so that I can get it packaged up and shipped to NY to arrive before Father 's Day lol . Then of course there is the laundry and dinner prep and what not . Argh not enough hours in the day . Alex has another interview tomorrow ( keeping fingers crossed again ) I will be back later with some of the wonderful layouts my CT have created . Thankfully Tracy and her family are doing well and made it unscathed through the horrible floods that bombarded Australia this past week . Say a prayer for those people affected by the floods today ok ? Cya later ; ) I tried sleeping but my oldest DS wanted breakfast ( he 's 14 , I said make your own breakfast lol ) then my youngest DS wanted something so I made them both toast LOL I fell back to sleep for a little while but I just couldn 't sleep right so I gave up lol . Two announcements now . First today is the LAST DAY of the 45 % off sale at HODS ! ! Not all of my designs which are here at HODS are available at DSC so if there is something you want grab it now ! And it is also the FIRST day of the 40 % off sale over at DSC ! Gail , Shannon and I are really going out with a bang so be sure to check out our designs there ! Here are a few of Gail and Shannon 's Designs : Be sure to check it all out ! Have a great day ! This is a little gross so if you are easily made to feel ill , you might want to skip this one lol . It 's 7 : 22 a . m . EST and I am up at the computer feeling like death warmed over lol . I went to sleep at about 2 : 30 this morning . Why , you might ask , am I up at this time ? Well at 6 : 12 or so this morning my youngest DS woke me up by knocking on my door . He wasn 't feeling well and had gotten sick all over the bathroom . When I say ALL OVER , that is exactly what I mean . Apparently he wasn 't feeling well , went to the bathroom and managed to make it to the toilet to get sick . He felt better got up to wash his hands and that was when his stomach apparently decided to let him know that he was nowhere near done . The entire bathroom was covered , sink , toilet , tub , wall , counter . . . . just everywhere . He has no fever but had enjoyed at least 2 gatorades of which one bottle was actually a mix of both the yellow and blue kind . At first I was a little scared because it was red , but between the gatorade dye and the fact that there were no streaks only that pink color and no fever , I am not so worried . I can almost guarantee he will be feeling better within a few hours . He has since gone back to sleep , his older brother went in with him to make sure he was ok ( insert big smiling emoticon here ) . Anyway I spent about 20 minutes or more bleaching out the bathroom , I LOVE that Clorox spray . I will be going back in to check on him in a bit , just to make sure he is sleeping comfortably . I think it 's too late to go back to bed and seeing as how everyone else in the house is asleep I might just putter around then later , after everyone else is up I might take a nap lol . My boys almost NEVER get sick , they have allergies but that 's really about it THANK GOD . I hate when they are sick , I know how absolutely miserable they feel and no matter how old they get , it will always make me feel bad . * * EDIT - First thank you for the well wishes for my DS . He is feeling better now and has eaten some crackers . I also gave him hot water to drink which soothes thLabels : I barely know where to start , I can 't believe that some of this is old news and that I hadn 't even posted it yet . Ok well , my youngest DS got promoted so he will now be going into 5th grade ; ) He did EXCELLENT on his FCAT tests ( like I told him and the teachers he would ) and he brought his social studies grade up from an F ( sigh yes an F he was having a hard time ) up to a B ! He was so proud that he finally got it ! My oldest DS is almost done with his Math class now and should be finished Tuesday when he has the last of his exams . He promises to do all the new classes at warp speed now so he can be done by the end of summer which would be awesome ! Now for the not so good news . Digi Scrap Central is closing . The forums will be closed sometime within the next couple of days and then the shop will only carry designs for people who still have time on their contracts . Once all of the contracts are up , the store will close as well . So as of July 1st my designs will no longer be sold at DSC . BUT here 's some good news ( every cloud has a silver lining ) Myself as well as Gail Cook and Shannon F are having a massive blowout sale from June 10th ( tomorrow ) through June 30th ! 40 % off ALL of our designs so we are going out with a bang ! Our freebies posted there will be gone too so you want to make sure you hit that sale ! Right now you can hit the 45 % off sale over at HODS ! This sale ENDS tomorrow so you want to get there before tomorrow at midnight to get them at that price ( not all of my designs and Gail Cook 's at HODS are offered at DSC ; ) ) Wow , I have been busy , but here is a little something I needed to get out of my system . This is called " Patriotic " and is a little different than most kits in this genre . Here are some butterflies for freedom and some flowers for prosperity . There is also one set of Upper Case alpha and a set of numerals . Wierd I know but I thought it was cute and I hope you do too . Please remember to not share these files but rather send people here to download . And a little LOVE goes a long way ; ) Just click on the image to start your download . There is only one file so just click the first image . Labels : Don 't forget the 45 % off sale going on at HODS from now through Sunday June 10th ! And just to add to the fun I have added a few more items to the store ! For Commercial or Personal Use : My new Pagekit - Black n Blue : And my newest installment for my Amore Collection : Don 't miss it ! And don 't forget you can also find designs by Gail Cook too ! I just put these ready to retire kits in the WHAT A BARGAIN section of the store . They are each only $ 2 . 50 and yes they are included in the 45 % off sale . Remember though this sale is only on until Sunday so be sure to grab them at these great prices while you can ! Plus don 't forget the new additions too ! This will not be good , so if you are looking for an upbeat post . . . . keep going down the page and ignore this entire entry lol . Let me just put this out there for all of you who do not know about the Florida School Board and their idiocies . This was an article I found tonight regarding their newest " How stupid can we look " adventures of the Florida School Board . I will paraphrase but you can find the entire link to this story HERE : This article was written my Laura Wides - Munoz an Associated Press Writer . Let me just say that while the story was written intelligently she did leave out the fact that the book they are discussing is geared toward children ages 4 - 8 . Keep that in mind as you read this . ( I had to Google the book to find out what age group this book was intended for ) MIAMI - A children 's book about life in Cuba has parents and school board members demanding its removal from district libraries even though it only features wholesome topics . To many in this heavily Cuban - American community , " Vamos a Cuba " ( " A Visit to Cuba " ) is extremely offensive because it lacks any criticism of the country 's dictator Fidel Castro or his communist government . That 's why the Miami - Dade County School District will ask a federal appeals court Wednesday for permission to remove all 49 copies of the book from its libraries . Board members voted last year to remove it after a parent who spent time as political prisoner in Cuba complained that the book failed to accurately depict life there . A federal judge later ruled that the board 's opposition to the book was political and that it should add books of different perspectives to its collections instead of removing the offending titles . OK now , can you see where my problem lies ? Just in case you don 't I will explain it to you . They are complaining because the book does not tell 4 - 8 year olds about the murders and horrible living in Cuba . They do not detail the horrible circumstances in which some people are made to live ( most of the people there ) OK DO WE TELL our children the truth aboLabels : Make sure to come by and check out these sizzling hot deals ! ( OK so that was a little corney but hey , this is a great sale ! LOL ) Yep EVERYTHING will be on sale for 45 % off ! ! Including my new stuff and items from GAIL COOK ! Yep she joined HODS and you can snag two of her kits including a new one ALSO for 45 % OFF ! ! Answers Percent 1 . Bows and ribbons 18 % 2 . doodles & swirls solid black 7 % 3 . doodles & swirls - colored / textured 14 % 4 . buttons and brads 7 % 5 . overlays and brushes 18 % 6 . Realistic flowers & plants 25 % 7 . Frames 11 % I 'm glad I let the poll run a little longer . I had seen somewhere where people were requesting overlays and brushes and at first when I didn 't get any votes for it , I was kind of confused lol . But now this makes a little more sense . I didn 't post yesterday , and it feels wierd . I was busy working on another kit and hanging out , on and off , with the boys . It was just one of those wierd days again . The weather couldn 't seem to make up it 's mind for awhile so it was kinda dreary at first . Plus I am annoyed because I hate when people talk about things of which they have no clue and there is a group of them doing it right now ( family that is ) People should take a good long look at their own backyard and their own glass houses before throwing stones and making assumptions . What 's really funny is that they talk all this crap and yet my sons 14th birthday came and went without so much as a phone call or a card . . . . yeah family . . . . . . gotta HATE them sometimes . I wonder if they remember telling the boys at their Father 's funeral that they would never have to worry about being alone because they would always be there for them ? My boys sure do . My family called and sent a gift , my Popi and my sister but no one else . And they live in New York , not 5 minutes from my house . But whatever . . . . . let me not get started cause I feel my blood pressure rising already . On a good note regarding family ( insert sarcastic chuckle here ) I did 3 layouts using Carla Ware 's " Music to my Ears " kit . These photos are from the " Family " birthday party we went to last weekend , looks like great fun doesn 't it ? This kit is awesome ! ( Oh and in this first layout , the bottom photo in it is John and I facing the camera lol ) Well , I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep ; ) Cya ! I found this interesting . I set up this poll to see which items you want in your kits . Here are the results so far : 1 . Bows and ribbons 27 % 2 . doodles & swirls solid black 13 % 3 . doodles & swirls - colored / textured 20 % 4 . buttons and brads 0 % 5 . overlays and brushes 0 % 6 . Realistic flowers & plants 27 % 7 . Frames 13 % I am not surprised by the flowers and plants but what does surprise me is the lack of votes for overlays and brushes . I thought it was pretty interesting that they didn 't get even one vote . I will be keeping this poll up a little longer just to see what happens . Remember to vote if you haven 't already ! Come on , it only takes two seconds ; ) ACK ! OMG , now it 's summer time . A time when all the little boys and girls are no longer in school but running amuck in grocery stores , parks , playgrounds , driveways , parking lots , beaches and our homes ! OMG , I can feel the panic attack hitting already ! Nah , not really . . . . . . well ok . . . . maybe a little bit . Things get crazy around here , really . It 's like suddenly our population becomes inundated with hundreds of little people running around and taking up space lol . Around here , they are not allowed to play anywhere but in the parking lots ( don 't get me started ) and the pool . When we first moved here there would be at least 30 or so kids playing right outside our balcony everyday . They played football mostly except for the little girls who would be walking by with their doll carriages and riding bikes . Now , they aren 't allowed to do that stuff . And in the 7 years we have been here I have never seen a broken window . I had a woman - maybe in her early 50 's and by no means " old " - come outside once while I was tossing the ball around with the boys and tell me we couldn 't play ball here . I raised my eyebrow at her and chuckled . After taking a step back she said she worked for the office and that ball playing was prohibited here . I told her that I have lived here for 3 years ( at that time ) and that I knew for a fact she was nothing more than a self appointed buttinski with nothing better to do than to try and make little kids miserable . That if she wanted to live in a quiet area or neighborhood she should go join her friends at Cemetary Village instead of living in a Family neighborhood . She huffed off and went inside . I waited for a call from the office but it never came lol . Ticked me off , I mean really , they delegated an approximate 12 X 20 square foot area of slides and what not , a pool and a tennis court all around the office itself . ( Now mind you there are at least 150 or so occupied apartments here . ) 12 apartments per building and between 14 and 16 buildings . When my kids were small they weren 't allowed over there Labels :
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I was born in 1962 ; you do the math . ( See also : I 'm too lazy to remember to update this thing regularly . ) I bought my first house in the summer of 2009 ; I share it three cats and with the memories of The Runt and Little Girl , who both passed away in 2011 . Rocky , the cat for whom this blog was named , passed away in 2008 ; I miss them all . I wish I lived somewhere where the winters weren 't eight months long ; other than that , life is good . Slumdog Millionaire , that is . I 'm not really sure why I thought this was going to be a happy - go - lucky , song - and - dance movie . Maybe all those cute Indian kids at all the premieres . Don 't worry , I 'm not going to reveal the ending , because I never made it that far . Actually , I didn 't get much past the scene where the guy is being tortured by having a car battery wired to his toes . Call me a wimp . At 4 a . m . Saturday , I was awakened by yelling from downstairs . The downstairs guy 's girlfriend was bitching him out , LOUDLY , because he stole money from her purse . And I would have liked nothing more than to have trotted downstairs and said to the loudmouthed girl , " Honey , here 's an idea ! How about if you just LEAVE ? " Every single time she comes over , all she does is yell , so I 'm not really clear on why she keeps coming around . Then , at 10 a . m . Saturday , I was awakened again when thugs from the local rent - to - own outlet tried to break down the downstairs guy 's door , and then when he finally opened the door , they threatened ( LOUDLY ) to break his kneecaps if he didn 't pay up on what he owed . In my opinion , renting f * cking furniture is not a good idea . It never ends well . There are currently catalpa cuttings rooting on my windowsill ! That may not end well , either , but heck , it 's gonna be at LEAST ten years before they 're big enough to make a mess of my yard , so I 'm not gonna worry about it now . I once again got sucked into watching " Working Girl " this weekend . It 's just one of those movies with an odd force field around it ; if I happen across it while changing channels , I end up watching the whole darn thing . And I am starting to realize that the reason I love that movie so much is because I AM Tess . I pulled myself up and out of the secretarial pool by sheer force of will . When the movie first came out , I had just put an illustrious career in burger flipping behind me and had started my current job . It was my DREAM to move up , like Tess , and become something more . And while I 'm still working for the same company , my job ( and my salary ) is now so much more than it was back then . I did it . Wheeeeee ! There is a bathroom rug that dare not speak its name residing in a Boscov 's bag in my kitchen right now . I bought the rug for - Shhhhhhh ! - the new place . Right now , waiting for closing , the - shhhhhhhh ! - new place is taking on almost a mythical quality , like something that 's not quite real . There ! was ! a ! firefly ! in the backyarPosted by Okay , so Michael Jackson died yesterday , and all over the blogs , people are all , like , oh boohoohoo ! ! Michael 's dead ! So sad ! He was a genius ! Gone before his time ! Um , hello ? The guy was a pedophile who like to " adopt " little boys and stick his hands down their underwear . And before anybody can jump in here and say , " They never proved it ! " Um , honey ? The reason " they " never " proved " it is because he paid off his victims . Any grown man ( and I use that term loosely , considering the subject matter ) who invites prepubescent boys to live with him and sleep in the same bed with him is not someone deserving of respect . And I 'm not even going to get into what I think about those boys ' parents . Yes , the guy was brilliant . Yes , he made some absolutely unforgettable music . Man in the Mirror was a personal favorite of mine . But he was also a sick bastard . In my opinion . So , I went to McDonald 's for lunch yesterday as a special treat * . And yes , I know EXACTLY what it says about me that I consider McDonald 's a " treat " . Put it this way , until I quit smoking , I considered a cigarette a " treat " , as well . I know , I KNOW . So ! I ordered a burger , and fries , and because I noticed a sign stating that all size sodas were a buck , I ordered a large , natch . And that soda was huge . HUUUUUUGE . I actually went back to the office and showed my soda around , saying , " Look how big this freakin ' soda is ! I have to hold it with both hands ! " Yeah , like THAT wasn 't annoying . And I 'm sure my co - workers were all , like , " what , she 's never gone to McDonald 's before ? " Sorry to make you cringe , guys . I don 't get out much . But ANYWAY , I ordered a diet soda , cause I always drink diet soda . But if that had been a regular soda , I can 't even imagine how many calories it would have had in it . Like , some unreal percentage of your recommended daily calories , I 'm sure . I 'll bet that soda , had it been non - diet , would have had as many calories in it as the burger and fries combined . And that 's why everybody 's fat . The end . * and I was " treating " myself because something pretty awesome may have happened yesterday morning . I can 't really talk about it yet , lest I jinx it , but it may be pretty damn cool . Yay ! I saw this . . . . . thing . . . . . down by the creek the other night . The plant itself is actually more of a tree , easily thirty feet tall , with these ginormous blooms in clusters . Each bloom in the cluster is around an inch - and - a - half across . I mean , come on , it 's GORGEOUS . . . . . . . but what in the hell IS it ? Last Saturday , we got so much rain I thought I was gonna drown unloading the groceries from the car . It rained , and rained , and rained , all day . When I woke up on Sunday the sky was still menacing and showers were predicted , but I decided to head out anyway . And it turned out that orange was on display . Who knew there were so many shades of orange ? So ! I admit it , I watched last night 's Very Special Episode of Jon & Kate + Eight , wherein Jon and Kate reveal that they 're divorcing . BIG surprise there , eh ? And Kate 's going on and on about the breakdown of the marriage , and she said something like , " and I had half a day where I let myself fall apart and hyperventilate " , and then she got a good night 's sleep and decided to get a divorce . And I thought , oh honey , I 've spent half a day falling apart and hyperventilating over a CAR REPAIR , and that 's all you could spare for dissolution of your marriage ? But anyway , what 's really driving me crazy about the show is all the product placement . First it was Emeril , then it was those motorcycle dudes , which honestly , I did not watch much of either of those episodes , because I do not like Emeril OR the motorcycle dudes , and last night it was the flippin ' goddamn playhouses , which if anyone had said " Crazy House " or whatever the hell they were called ONE MORE TIME my head would have exploded . I would lovelovelove to know how much those playhouses actually cost , because I 'll bet they 're pretty pricey . And those kids got FOUR . Then again , Mom and Dad are splitting up , so it 's time to haul out the really EXPENSIVE toys . Paid for by the show , of course . And I 'm sure the Crazy House people gave them a bit fat discount , seeing as how their product was mentioned about every three seconds during last night 's show . Oh ! And Kate 's outfit when she was on the Loveseat of Confession ? Did anyone besides me think it was a little inappropriate to wear a push - up , strapless top to emphasize the boobage ? No ? Just me ? Okay then . Frankly , I always leaned a little bit toward Jon 's side . But after last night , I think they 're BOTH kind of self - absorbed jerks . I just feel for those poor kids . . . . . . right in the middle of the front yard , in front of passersby and any neighbors who may be outside at the time . Any other cat I 've ever had has chosen to do their bizness out of sight of people , but not The Runt . He marches right to the middle of the front yard , like he 's getting ready to give a freakin ' speech or something , and goes to town . Actually , I was kind of hoping he 'd do it when the Little League parade passed by a couple of months ago , because I think it 'd be really funny to watch a bunch of little boys laugh themselves silly over a cat taking a dump in plain view . The other night I was rinsing out a bucket with the garden hose , and discovered that The Runt loooooves to chase the hose water around . If you put a finger over the water to make it squirt really far , he 'll chase that spray around all day long . And he doesn 't even bitch when he accidentally gets squirted right in the head - he just shakes it off and keeps chasing . Oh , and his other current favorite toy is a bag of rocks . That 's right . I discovered this when I was hauling stuff out to the yard for the big sale and dropped a zip - lock baggie with some jewelry in it . He pick that sucker up in his mouth and carried it around , then batted it back and forth , then laid on it and rolled around . So I took another zip - lock and put some little pieces of gravel in it for weight , and that 's his new favorite toy . I think he thinks it 's some kind of weird mouse or something . I don 't begin to pretend to understand this cat , but I think he 's pretty cool . As usual , go ahead and skip this one if you want to . Cavedweller by Dorothy Allison - Novel about a rock singer who returns to her hometown . I got about three - quarters of the way through before I realized I 'd read it before , so obviously , it didn 't make much of an impression , but it was still a good time - kill novel , i . e . , when you don 't have anything else to read and are too lazy busy to get to the library . The Great Husband Hunt by Laurie Graham - Novel about a woman who was an obnoxious jerk . Blerrkk . ( Sorry , Ms . Graham . It 's just that the character was so unlikeable , it made me not like the book . And I know it was done for comic effect , but still . . . . . . . ) Snow Angels by Stewart O ' Nan - Novel about the deaths of a daughter and her mother . O ' Nan is always good . Bound South by Susan Rebecca White - Novel about Southern women - meh . So Brave , Young and Handsome by Leif Enger - This was a western , which I don 't usually read , but I like this author , and the book was pretty good . The Way the Crow Flies by Ann Marie MacDonald - Novel about a murder in a small Canadian air force town in the sixties - The beginning is good , and the ending has a real twist , but the middle was just so - so . I feel like it needed an editor willing to cut . A lot . 800 pages , for this particular book , was about 300 too many . Now in November by Josephine Johnson - Originally published in 1934 , this novel by a twenty - four - year - old won the Pulitzer Prize for fiction . Good book . It Ain 't All About the Cookin ' by Paula Deen - Food Network chef 's memoir - interesting . I 've tried a couple of her recipes and they weren 't all that great , but the book was okay . Just After Sunset by Stephen King - Short stories , most of which were published elsewhere previously . I still think Stephen King is one of the best contemporary writers , although his early work is much stronger than his newer stuff . I just keep wishing he 'd try a non - " horror genre " book , because I think it could be excellent . Girlbomb by Janice Erlbaum - Memoir about an NYC teenager who becomes homeless - Posted by So , I 'm reading this novel ( The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields ) , and I get to the middle of the book , and there 's a section of . . . . . . . . . . photos . Of the people in the book . Except the book is a NOVEL . Which means that the people are made up . Which means that unless someone has come up with some technology that somehow photographs FICTIONAL PEOPLE , the author or her publisher took a bunch of random photos of people and stuck them in the book and said , " This one 's Mercy , and this one 's Cuyler , and . . . . . . . . " And for reasons I can 't quite figure out , I am so put off by this that now I don 't even want to finish the damn book . The photos of , well , whoever they are look NOTHING like I pictured the people in the book to look like , and I just don 't understand the whole concept of photos of FICTIONAL PEOPLE . Do I need to say again that the characters are FICTIONAL ? ? ? No ? I didn 't think so . Is it just me , or is this really strange ? Or is it just me who 's strange ? Holy shit , you guys . A THOUSAND BUCKS A YEAR for flippin ' flood insurance . I got that number and then I died . And then I remembered that I pay , like , eight hundred bucks a year for car insurance , so what 's the big deal , right ? And then I was all , like , WHY am I paying eight hundred bucks a year to insure a paid - off , nine - year - old car ? ! So then I was on the phone to my insurance agent for , like , the nine BILLIONTH time in the last couple of weeks , getting my car insurance reduced . And then I called some other agents to get some competing prices on the flood insurance . And everybody 's talking about " flood vents " , and how they can reduce your premium , but I guess these vents are actually kind of mythical , like unicorns , because everybody 's heard of them , but no one 's actually , you know , SEEN one , or knows how to install one , or knows anyone who might know how to install one , or . . . . . . . and all the agents are , like , " go to the FEMA website " , and I 'm all , like , " F * ck you ! YOU go to the FEMA website , you lazy sonofabitch ! " Yeah , not really , just in my head . Holy shit , dudes . Updated to add : Why yes , yes I DO know how to use google , you wiseasses . The problem was finding the exact technical specs for the vents , to meet both NFIP and local / State codes . I finally called my insurance agent AGAIN ( come on , Ed , you know you love me ! ) , and he is going to get ahold of what the underwriters use to determine which vents meet requirements . This is hard ! Waaaaaa . Wear sunscreen . When the weatherman calls for cloudy skies and possible showers , HE IS LYING . And you will wake up the next morning looking like a lobster . Nobody buys record albums . Or books . Or framed frickin ' photography , even when you are selling it for less than they could buy the damned FRAME for . Oh , the indignity . People WILL buy useless knick - knacks and assorted crap . By the boatload . I could 've sold twenty times the amount of Disney World souvenirs , decks of playing cards , and opened packages of generic greeting cards ( I 'm not even kidding here ) that I had on hand . When you have only sold a few Breyer 's horse models , and the day 's half over , and someone comes along and offers to buy the entire remaining lot , thank your lucky stars and grab the cash . If you don 't have any " big ticket " items , i . e . , furniture , electronics , etc . , it is still possible to make over a hundred bucks . One knick - knack at a time . If you sell a Dane Cook * CD to a kid who looks to be about 10 , tell him not to tell his mom where he got it . There are a lot of really strange people out there . Who drive cars . Frankly , I was a little surprised that some of these people had driver 's licenses . And people will try to bargain you down , no matter how ridiculously low the price already is . If you 're asking twenty - five cents for a skirt with the tags still on it ? They 'll ask if you 'll take a dime . Sheesh . All in all , it 's not a bad way to spend a day . Just be prepared to load up your car with the remains of the crap and haul it to the thrift store afterwards . And forget about selling those old record albums . * No , I do not like Dane Cook - someone gave me the CD . Honest . It looks like the yard sale is a go for tomorrow . The weatherman keeps switching up the forecast , but right now it looks like the morning , at least , may be rain - free , so I 'm going to give it a shot . I have got a shed FULL of crap to sell ; I 've spent hours and hours sorting through my stuff . All that photography that I framed and matted ( and tried and failed to sell at craft shows ) ? It 's going . The Breyer 's horse models that I collected as a kid back in the seventies ? Three bucks a pop . Boxes and boxes of books ? See ya ! If I make enough for a good used lawnmower , I 'll be thrilled . Wish me luck ! And if you find yourself in the beautiful Southern Tier of upstate New York tomorrow , feel free to stop by - it 's gonna be bargain city ! Anybody remember last month 's drama ? Wherein my sister Ditzy , having decided that she is tired of actually , you know , working for a living like the rest of us wage slaves and / or letting a Sugar Daddy support her , chose to hit up my soon - to - be - 85 , Alzheimer 's - inflicted mother for money ? Well , my sister Texas and I banded together and stopped that particular train from leaving the station , knowing that the first request for money - from - Mom would not be the last , and would , in fact , be just the tip of that particularly nasty iceberg . And Texas , my sister Alabama , and my brother A . , all wrote out generous checks to Ditzy to help the poor gal * cough * out . Problem solved , right ? Wrong . Yesterday I received an email from Ditzy herself , informing me that Texas and I may want to " reconsider our decision " , in light of the fact that Ooooops ! The four grand my sisters and brother GAVE HER is not enough , and she wants more . Oh honey . I haven 't had a cigarette in over two months , and I WILL cut a bitch ( metaphorically , of course ) if this does not stop . No means no . Today , tomorrow , next week , next year . No . When I read about today 's explosion at a Slim Jim plant , I chuckled . I mean , COME ON ! ! Explosion at the Slim Jim plant ? Heeeeee . . . . . . And then when I read further , where an official was describing the " toxic cloud on and around the plant " ? HAHAHAHAHAHA . . . . . . . I 'm gonna burn . * if , you know , I believed in that stuff . I was talking to a contractor a while back about getting a written estimate of the repair costs for Moldy House . So that I could , you know , GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT DEAL OMFG . And I offered to email the inspection report to the contractor , and I asked him for his email address , and he started spelling it out , a letter at a time , you know , " J like in Jeep " , and this was his email address : johnsluvr ( add @ blahblah . blah ) ( blogger keeps trying to make this into an ACTUAL email address , with a link and everything - cut it OUT , blogger ! ) His email address is , basically , " johnsluvr " . And my first thought was , ewwwwwwwwww . TMI ! TMI ! I don 't care if this dude is gay . I really , really don 't . I was just , um , unnerved that he would use an email address like that for his professional work . I mean , the email address that I use for this blog , rockycat24 , is kind of silly . I made it up on the spur of the moment , in a hurry , and really , it 's just a blog email , so who cares ? But my work email address is totally boring and professional , which is as it should be , in my humble opinion . I mean , if I have to ask a big client to email some info to me , I don 't want to have to ask him to send it to loves2drinkshots at blahblah . blah . First off , I don 't even like drinking shots . Blech . And second , what kind of an impression does it give when your work email is something totally ridiculous and way too revealing ? It gives the impression that you 're not a professional . Which is NOT the look you 're going for . Disclaimer : I may be just a tad over - reacting here , but at the time I was dealing with this dude , I was FREAKING OUT about the ( old , failed ) house deal , and the realtor 's assistant was being a pain in the ass , and now I have to deal with some dude whose work email is johnsluvr ? Nooooo . On Friday night , I went to a party and was introduced to a woman who grew up on the street where my house is . She told me about how all the kids sled and toboggan on the town easement that runs behind the houses . She told me about how she used to babysit for the kids who used to live in my house , and about the time the kids lit the curtains on fire ( ! ) and she got in trouble for putting out the fire herself instead of calling the fire department ( there was no 911 back in those days ) . She told me about what a peaceful neighborhood it was , and how much fun it was to grow up there , with the park and the creek at the end of the street . I think I 'm gonna like it there . Oh , and just because these guys haven 't been getting enough blog time lately : There are plenty of napping options on the deck , but this toweled - covered chair has obtained Favorite status . They 'll cram into it together rather than nap somewhere else . . . . . . . . for a hamburger today . I had to go fill out the mortgage info yesterday for the new house . And my mortgage dude , whom I love , was going through the various financing options with me . He showed me an option whereby I would put 4K less down , pay $ 17 . 00 more a month , and take the 4K and sock it back into the mortgage once I closed , thereby shortening the life of the mortgage by four years . And I know it probably made sense , and I know I probably should have done it , but you know what ? I just didn 't feel comfortable with it , I did not want to pay an extra seventeen bucks a month , and I turned it down . Yeah , there 's a reason I didn 't go into accounting . Oh , and on my way there , the driver 's window in the car decided to stop working . Woot ! Oh ! Oh ! And did you know that when you apply for an FHA mortgage , they run your name past the Department of Homeland Security to make sure you 're not on the terrorist watch list ? No shit . Which makes me wonder how that asshat down south managed to get all those weapons before he showed up at the recruiting center and opened fire . I mean , he MUST have been on the list , right ? And yet he got the guns anyway . So , now I 've done my part . Time to let the moneylenders get to work . And I sure hope that they hurry . I have an odd habit of rescuing weird stuff from thrift stores . So when I was at the flea market a couple of weeks ago and saw a box of bones , well , let 's just say it had to come home with me . Technically , these are antlers . Lots of them . I got the whole box for ten bucks , which may or may not be a deal ; I 'm not familiar with current fluctuations in the deer antler market . I don 't know what I 'm going to do with them , but they 're home with me now . And soon they 'll be going to my new home . The one for which I am signing the financing paperwork this afternoon . I can 't believe I just typed that ; I can 't believe it 's true . I 'm going to own a home . ( And I 'm going to decorate it with bones . Howdy , new neighbors ! Pleased to meetcha ! ) I quit smoking two months ago today . Honestly , there are STILL some moments when I want a cigarette more than anything else in the world . This past week , especially , has not been kind to my stop - smoking efforts . However , I persevere . The last time I smoked a cigarette was on April 2 . Number of cigarettes I would have smoked between then and now , had I still been smoking : 1800 . Amount of money saved to date : $ 321 . 00 . Not having to worry that my " quit date " will be the day my doctor tells me I have lung cancer : Priceless . ' Supposedly , the sellers are going to be at the realtor 's office at 2 p . m . today to sign off on the deal . Then the sellers have to get an elevation shot to find out how much insurance I am going to need ( all depends on if the house is up out of the 100 - year flood zone or not . ) . ( I 'm making the sellers pay for this . Because I can . ) ' Then I have to get my financial info and my application fee over to the mortgage dude . And then ? Umm . . . . . . . not sure . I 've never done this before and have no idea of the sequence of events , even the little stuff like how and when to get the water and sewer switched into my name . ( I 'm assuming that happens the day of the closing , but honestly ? YA GOT ME . ) ' Yikes . . . . . . . So ! On Friday night , after discovering that I had eight weeks to find a house I liked , make an offer , have the offer accepted , go through closing , and move , I looked at some houses . I found one that I liked , but told my realtor ( hereinafter referred to as Judas ) that I would have to have my structural guy ( i . e . , my boss ) take a look at it before I would make any offer at all . On Saturday , my boss and I went out and did a thorough inspection . I was ready to make an offer ; however , there was going to be an Open House on Sunday , and I decided to wait and see if any offers came in via the Open House before I put in my own bid , as I could not afford to go in at the full listing price . On Sunday I spied on the Open House . I parked down the street and watched to see how many people showed up . There were plenty of people , but only a couple who stayed long enough to show any real interest in the place . So when Judas ( my realtor ) called the listing agent on Monday morning and the listing agent told him they 'd had " plenty of offers " , we knew it was probably bullshit , and I went in low . The sellers countered my offer . I countered back . We may have a deal . My heart may stop . Oh , and see all that baby shrubbery in front of the house ? When I looked at it on Friday night , that planting area was full of huge , dead bushes . When I went back on Saturday , the landscaper was pulling out of the driveway , and Voila ! Brand new baby shrubbery .
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I was born in 1962 ; you do the math . ( See also : I 'm too lazy to remember to update this thing regularly . ) I bought my first house in the summer of 2009 ; I share it three cats and with the memories of The Runt and Little Girl , who both passed away in 2011 . Rocky , the cat for whom this blog was named , passed away in 2008 ; I miss them all . I wish I lived somewhere where the winters weren 't eight months long ; other than that , life is good . Slumdog Millionaire , that is . I 'm not really sure why I thought this was going to be a happy - go - lucky , song - and - dance movie . Maybe all those cute Indian kids at all the premieres . Don 't worry , I 'm not going to reveal the ending , because I never made it that far . Actually , I didn 't get much past the scene where the guy is being tortured by having a car battery wired to his toes . Call me a wimp . At 4 a . m . Saturday , I was awakened by yelling from downstairs . The downstairs guy 's girlfriend was bitching him out , LOUDLY , because he stole money from her purse . And I would have liked nothing more than to have trotted downstairs and said to the loudmouthed girl , " Honey , here 's an idea ! How about if you just LEAVE ? " Every single time she comes over , all she does is yell , so I 'm not really clear on why she keeps coming around . Then , at 10 a . m . Saturday , I was awakened again when thugs from the local rent - to - own outlet tried to break down the downstairs guy 's door , and then when he finally opened the door , they threatened ( LOUDLY ) to break his kneecaps if he didn 't pay up on what he owed . In my opinion , renting f * cking furniture is not a good idea . It never ends well . There are currently catalpa cuttings rooting on my windowsill ! That may not end well , either , but heck , it 's gonna be at LEAST ten years before they 're big enough to make a mess of my yard , so I 'm not gonna worry about it now . I once again got sucked into watching " Working Girl " this weekend . It 's just one of those movies with an odd force field around it ; if I happen across it while changing channels , I end up watching the whole darn thing . And I am starting to realize that the reason I love that movie so much is because I AM Tess . I pulled myself up and out of the secretarial pool by sheer force of will . When the movie first came out , I had just put an illustrious career in burger flipping behind me and had started my current job . It was my DREAM to move up , like Tess , and become something more . And while I 'm still working for the same company , my job ( and my salary ) is now so much more than it was back then . I did it . Wheeeeee ! There is a bathroom rug that dare not speak its name residing in a Boscov 's bag in my kitchen right now . I bought the rug for - Shhhhhhh ! - the new place . Right now , waiting for closing , the - shhhhhhhh ! - new place is taking on almost a mythical quality , like something that 's not quite real . There ! was ! a ! firefly ! in the backyarPosted by Okay , so Michael Jackson died yesterday , and all over the blogs , people are all , like , oh boohoohoo ! ! Michael 's dead ! So sad ! He was a genius ! Gone before his time ! Um , hello ? The guy was a pedophile who like to " adopt " little boys and stick his hands down their underwear . And before anybody can jump in here and say , " They never proved it ! " Um , honey ? The reason " they " never " proved " it is because he paid off his victims . Any grown man ( and I use that term loosely , considering the subject matter ) who invites prepubescent boys to live with him and sleep in the same bed with him is not someone deserving of respect . And I 'm not even going to get into what I think about those boys ' parents . Yes , the guy was brilliant . Yes , he made some absolutely unforgettable music . Man in the Mirror was a personal favorite of mine . But he was also a sick bastard . In my opinion . So , I went to McDonald 's for lunch yesterday as a special treat * . And yes , I know EXACTLY what it says about me that I consider McDonald 's a " treat " . Put it this way , until I quit smoking , I considered a cigarette a " treat " , as well . I know , I KNOW . So ! I ordered a burger , and fries , and because I noticed a sign stating that all size sodas were a buck , I ordered a large , natch . And that soda was huge . HUUUUUUGE . I actually went back to the office and showed my soda around , saying , " Look how big this freakin ' soda is ! I have to hold it with both hands ! " Yeah , like THAT wasn 't annoying . And I 'm sure my co - workers were all , like , " what , she 's never gone to McDonald 's before ? " Sorry to make you cringe , guys . I don 't get out much . But ANYWAY , I ordered a diet soda , cause I always drink diet soda . But if that had been a regular soda , I can 't even imagine how many calories it would have had in it . Like , some unreal percentage of your recommended daily calories , I 'm sure . I 'll bet that soda , had it been non - diet , would have had as many calories in it as the burger and fries combined . And that 's why everybody 's fat . The end . * and I was " treating " myself because something pretty awesome may have happened yesterday morning . I can 't really talk about it yet , lest I jinx it , but it may be pretty damn cool . Yay ! I saw this . . . . . thing . . . . . down by the creek the other night . The plant itself is actually more of a tree , easily thirty feet tall , with these ginormous blooms in clusters . Each bloom in the cluster is around an inch - and - a - half across . I mean , come on , it 's GORGEOUS . . . . . . . but what in the hell IS it ? Last Saturday , we got so much rain I thought I was gonna drown unloading the groceries from the car . It rained , and rained , and rained , all day . When I woke up on Sunday the sky was still menacing and showers were predicted , but I decided to head out anyway . And it turned out that orange was on display . Who knew there were so many shades of orange ? So ! I admit it , I watched last night 's Very Special Episode of Jon & Kate + Eight , wherein Jon and Kate reveal that they 're divorcing . BIG surprise there , eh ? And Kate 's going on and on about the breakdown of the marriage , and she said something like , " and I had half a day where I let myself fall apart and hyperventilate " , and then she got a good night 's sleep and decided to get a divorce . And I thought , oh honey , I 've spent half a day falling apart and hyperventilating over a CAR REPAIR , and that 's all you could spare for dissolution of your marriage ? But anyway , what 's really driving me crazy about the show is all the product placement . First it was Emeril , then it was those motorcycle dudes , which honestly , I did not watch much of either of those episodes , because I do not like Emeril OR the motorcycle dudes , and last night it was the flippin ' goddamn playhouses , which if anyone had said " Crazy House " or whatever the hell they were called ONE MORE TIME my head would have exploded . I would lovelovelove to know how much those playhouses actually cost , because I 'll bet they 're pretty pricey . And those kids got FOUR . Then again , Mom and Dad are splitting up , so it 's time to haul out the really EXPENSIVE toys . Paid for by the show , of course . And I 'm sure the Crazy House people gave them a bit fat discount , seeing as how their product was mentioned about every three seconds during last night 's show . Oh ! And Kate 's outfit when she was on the Loveseat of Confession ? Did anyone besides me think it was a little inappropriate to wear a push - up , strapless top to emphasize the boobage ? No ? Just me ? Okay then . Frankly , I always leaned a little bit toward Jon 's side . But after last night , I think they 're BOTH kind of self - absorbed jerks . I just feel for those poor kids . . . . . . right in the middle of the front yard , in front of passersby and any neighbors who may be outside at the time . Any other cat I 've ever had has chosen to do their bizness out of sight of people , but not The Runt . He marches right to the middle of the front yard , like he 's getting ready to give a freakin ' speech or something , and goes to town . Actually , I was kind of hoping he 'd do it when the Little League parade passed by a couple of months ago , because I think it 'd be really funny to watch a bunch of little boys laugh themselves silly over a cat taking a dump in plain view . The other night I was rinsing out a bucket with the garden hose , and discovered that The Runt loooooves to chase the hose water around . If you put a finger over the water to make it squirt really far , he 'll chase that spray around all day long . And he doesn 't even bitch when he accidentally gets squirted right in the head - he just shakes it off and keeps chasing . Oh , and his other current favorite toy is a bag of rocks . That 's right . I discovered this when I was hauling stuff out to the yard for the big sale and dropped a zip - lock baggie with some jewelry in it . He pick that sucker up in his mouth and carried it around , then batted it back and forth , then laid on it and rolled around . So I took another zip - lock and put some little pieces of gravel in it for weight , and that 's his new favorite toy . I think he thinks it 's some kind of weird mouse or something . I don 't begin to pretend to understand this cat , but I think he 's pretty cool . As usual , go ahead and skip this one if you want to . Cavedweller by Dorothy Allison - Novel about a rock singer who returns to her hometown . I got about three - quarters of the way through before I realized I 'd read it before , so obviously , it didn 't make much of an impression , but it was still a good time - kill novel , i . e . , when you don 't have anything else to read and are too lazy busy to get to the library . The Great Husband Hunt by Laurie Graham - Novel about a woman who was an obnoxious jerk . Blerrkk . ( Sorry , Ms . Graham . It 's just that the character was so unlikeable , it made me not like the book . And I know it was done for comic effect , but still . . . . . . . ) Snow Angels by Stewart O ' Nan - Novel about the deaths of a daughter and her mother . O ' Nan is always good . Bound South by Susan Rebecca White - Novel about Southern women - meh . So Brave , Young and Handsome by Leif Enger - This was a western , which I don 't usually read , but I like this author , and the book was pretty good . The Way the Crow Flies by Ann Marie MacDonald - Novel about a murder in a small Canadian air force town in the sixties - The beginning is good , and the ending has a real twist , but the middle was just so - so . I feel like it needed an editor willing to cut . A lot . 800 pages , for this particular book , was about 300 too many . Now in November by Josephine Johnson - Originally published in 1934 , this novel by a twenty - four - year - old won the Pulitzer Prize for fiction . Good book . It Ain 't All About the Cookin ' by Paula Deen - Food Network chef 's memoir - interesting . I 've tried a couple of her recipes and they weren 't all that great , but the book was okay . Just After Sunset by Stephen King - Short stories , most of which were published elsewhere previously . I still think Stephen King is one of the best contemporary writers , although his early work is much stronger than his newer stuff . I just keep wishing he 'd try a non - " horror genre " book , because I think it could be excellent . Girlbomb by Janice Erlbaum - Memoir about an NYC teenager who becomes homeless - Posted by So , I 'm reading this novel ( The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields ) , and I get to the middle of the book , and there 's a section of . . . . . . . . . . photos . Of the people in the book . Except the book is a NOVEL . Which means that the people are made up . Which means that unless someone has come up with some technology that somehow photographs FICTIONAL PEOPLE , the author or her publisher took a bunch of random photos of people and stuck them in the book and said , " This one 's Mercy , and this one 's Cuyler , and . . . . . . . . " And for reasons I can 't quite figure out , I am so put off by this that now I don 't even want to finish the damn book . The photos of , well , whoever they are look NOTHING like I pictured the people in the book to look like , and I just don 't understand the whole concept of photos of FICTIONAL PEOPLE . Do I need to say again that the characters are FICTIONAL ? ? ? No ? I didn 't think so . Is it just me , or is this really strange ? Or is it just me who 's strange ? Holy shit , you guys . A THOUSAND BUCKS A YEAR for flippin ' flood insurance . I got that number and then I died . And then I remembered that I pay , like , eight hundred bucks a year for car insurance , so what 's the big deal , right ? And then I was all , like , WHY am I paying eight hundred bucks a year to insure a paid - off , nine - year - old car ? ! So then I was on the phone to my insurance agent for , like , the nine BILLIONTH time in the last couple of weeks , getting my car insurance reduced . And then I called some other agents to get some competing prices on the flood insurance . And everybody 's talking about " flood vents " , and how they can reduce your premium , but I guess these vents are actually kind of mythical , like unicorns , because everybody 's heard of them , but no one 's actually , you know , SEEN one , or knows how to install one , or knows anyone who might know how to install one , or . . . . . . . and all the agents are , like , " go to the FEMA website " , and I 'm all , like , " F * ck you ! YOU go to the FEMA website , you lazy sonofabitch ! " Yeah , not really , just in my head . Holy shit , dudes . Updated to add : Why yes , yes I DO know how to use google , you wiseasses . The problem was finding the exact technical specs for the vents , to meet both NFIP and local / State codes . I finally called my insurance agent AGAIN ( come on , Ed , you know you love me ! ) , and he is going to get ahold of what the underwriters use to determine which vents meet requirements . This is hard ! Waaaaaa . Wear sunscreen . When the weatherman calls for cloudy skies and possible showers , HE IS LYING . And you will wake up the next morning looking like a lobster . Nobody buys record albums . Or books . Or framed frickin ' photography , even when you are selling it for less than they could buy the damned FRAME for . Oh , the indignity . People WILL buy useless knick - knacks and assorted crap . By the boatload . I could 've sold twenty times the amount of Disney World souvenirs , decks of playing cards , and opened packages of generic greeting cards ( I 'm not even kidding here ) that I had on hand . When you have only sold a few Breyer 's horse models , and the day 's half over , and someone comes along and offers to buy the entire remaining lot , thank your lucky stars and grab the cash . If you don 't have any " big ticket " items , i . e . , furniture , electronics , etc . , it is still possible to make over a hundred bucks . One knick - knack at a time . If you sell a Dane Cook * CD to a kid who looks to be about 10 , tell him not to tell his mom where he got it . There are a lot of really strange people out there . Who drive cars . Frankly , I was a little surprised that some of these people had driver 's licenses . And people will try to bargain you down , no matter how ridiculously low the price already is . If you 're asking twenty - five cents for a skirt with the tags still on it ? They 'll ask if you 'll take a dime . Sheesh . All in all , it 's not a bad way to spend a day . Just be prepared to load up your car with the remains of the crap and haul it to the thrift store afterwards . And forget about selling those old record albums . * No , I do not like Dane Cook - someone gave me the CD . Honest . It looks like the yard sale is a go for tomorrow . The weatherman keeps switching up the forecast , but right now it looks like the morning , at least , may be rain - free , so I 'm going to give it a shot . I have got a shed FULL of crap to sell ; I 've spent hours and hours sorting through my stuff . All that photography that I framed and matted ( and tried and failed to sell at craft shows ) ? It 's going . The Breyer 's horse models that I collected as a kid back in the seventies ? Three bucks a pop . Boxes and boxes of books ? See ya ! If I make enough for a good used lawnmower , I 'll be thrilled . Wish me luck ! And if you find yourself in the beautiful Southern Tier of upstate New York tomorrow , feel free to stop by - it 's gonna be bargain city ! Anybody remember last month 's drama ? Wherein my sister Ditzy , having decided that she is tired of actually , you know , working for a living like the rest of us wage slaves and / or letting a Sugar Daddy support her , chose to hit up my soon - to - be - 85 , Alzheimer 's - inflicted mother for money ? Well , my sister Texas and I banded together and stopped that particular train from leaving the station , knowing that the first request for money - from - Mom would not be the last , and would , in fact , be just the tip of that particularly nasty iceberg . And Texas , my sister Alabama , and my brother A . , all wrote out generous checks to Ditzy to help the poor gal * cough * out . Problem solved , right ? Wrong . Yesterday I received an email from Ditzy herself , informing me that Texas and I may want to " reconsider our decision " , in light of the fact that Ooooops ! The four grand my sisters and brother GAVE HER is not enough , and she wants more . Oh honey . I haven 't had a cigarette in over two months , and I WILL cut a bitch ( metaphorically , of course ) if this does not stop . No means no . Today , tomorrow , next week , next year . No . When I read about today 's explosion at a Slim Jim plant , I chuckled . I mean , COME ON ! ! Explosion at the Slim Jim plant ? Heeeeee . . . . . . And then when I read further , where an official was describing the " toxic cloud on and around the plant " ? HAHAHAHAHAHA . . . . . . . I 'm gonna burn . * if , you know , I believed in that stuff . I was talking to a contractor a while back about getting a written estimate of the repair costs for Moldy House . So that I could , you know , GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT DEAL OMFG . And I offered to email the inspection report to the contractor , and I asked him for his email address , and he started spelling it out , a letter at a time , you know , " J like in Jeep " , and this was his email address : johnsluvr ( add @ blahblah . blah ) ( blogger keeps trying to make this into an ACTUAL email address , with a link and everything - cut it OUT , blogger ! ) His email address is , basically , " johnsluvr " . And my first thought was , ewwwwwwwwww . TMI ! TMI ! I don 't care if this dude is gay . I really , really don 't . I was just , um , unnerved that he would use an email address like that for his professional work . I mean , the email address that I use for this blog , rockycat24 , is kind of silly . I made it up on the spur of the moment , in a hurry , and really , it 's just a blog email , so who cares ? But my work email address is totally boring and professional , which is as it should be , in my humble opinion . I mean , if I have to ask a big client to email some info to me , I don 't want to have to ask him to send it to loves2drinkshots at blahblah . blah . First off , I don 't even like drinking shots . Blech . And second , what kind of an impression does it give when your work email is something totally ridiculous and way too revealing ? It gives the impression that you 're not a professional . Which is NOT the look you 're going for . Disclaimer : I may be just a tad over - reacting here , but at the time I was dealing with this dude , I was FREAKING OUT about the ( old , failed ) house deal , and the realtor 's assistant was being a pain in the ass , and now I have to deal with some dude whose work email is johnsluvr ? Nooooo . On Friday night , I went to a party and was introduced to a woman who grew up on the street where my house is . She told me about how all the kids sled and toboggan on the town easement that runs behind the houses . She told me about how she used to babysit for the kids who used to live in my house , and about the time the kids lit the curtains on fire ( ! ) and she got in trouble for putting out the fire herself instead of calling the fire department ( there was no 911 back in those days ) . She told me about what a peaceful neighborhood it was , and how much fun it was to grow up there , with the park and the creek at the end of the street . I think I 'm gonna like it there . Oh , and just because these guys haven 't been getting enough blog time lately : There are plenty of napping options on the deck , but this toweled - covered chair has obtained Favorite status . They 'll cram into it together rather than nap somewhere else . . . . . . . . for a hamburger today . I had to go fill out the mortgage info yesterday for the new house . And my mortgage dude , whom I love , was going through the various financing options with me . He showed me an option whereby I would put 4K less down , pay $ 17 . 00 more a month , and take the 4K and sock it back into the mortgage once I closed , thereby shortening the life of the mortgage by four years . And I know it probably made sense , and I know I probably should have done it , but you know what ? I just didn 't feel comfortable with it , I did not want to pay an extra seventeen bucks a month , and I turned it down . Yeah , there 's a reason I didn 't go into accounting . Oh , and on my way there , the driver 's window in the car decided to stop working . Woot ! Oh ! Oh ! And did you know that when you apply for an FHA mortgage , they run your name past the Department of Homeland Security to make sure you 're not on the terrorist watch list ? No shit . Which makes me wonder how that asshat down south managed to get all those weapons before he showed up at the recruiting center and opened fire . I mean , he MUST have been on the list , right ? And yet he got the guns anyway . So , now I 've done my part . Time to let the moneylenders get to work . And I sure hope that they hurry . I have an odd habit of rescuing weird stuff from thrift stores . So when I was at the flea market a couple of weeks ago and saw a box of bones , well , let 's just say it had to come home with me . Technically , these are antlers . Lots of them . I got the whole box for ten bucks , which may or may not be a deal ; I 'm not familiar with current fluctuations in the deer antler market . I don 't know what I 'm going to do with them , but they 're home with me now . And soon they 'll be going to my new home . The one for which I am signing the financing paperwork this afternoon . I can 't believe I just typed that ; I can 't believe it 's true . I 'm going to own a home . ( And I 'm going to decorate it with bones . Howdy , new neighbors ! Pleased to meetcha ! ) I quit smoking two months ago today . Honestly , there are STILL some moments when I want a cigarette more than anything else in the world . This past week , especially , has not been kind to my stop - smoking efforts . However , I persevere . The last time I smoked a cigarette was on April 2 . Number of cigarettes I would have smoked between then and now , had I still been smoking : 1800 . Amount of money saved to date : $ 321 . 00 . Not having to worry that my " quit date " will be the day my doctor tells me I have lung cancer : Priceless . ' Supposedly , the sellers are going to be at the realtor 's office at 2 p . m . today to sign off on the deal . Then the sellers have to get an elevation shot to find out how much insurance I am going to need ( all depends on if the house is up out of the 100 - year flood zone or not . ) . ( I 'm making the sellers pay for this . Because I can . ) ' Then I have to get my financial info and my application fee over to the mortgage dude . And then ? Umm . . . . . . . not sure . I 've never done this before and have no idea of the sequence of events , even the little stuff like how and when to get the water and sewer switched into my name . ( I 'm assuming that happens the day of the closing , but honestly ? YA GOT ME . ) ' Yikes . . . . . . . So ! On Friday night , after discovering that I had eight weeks to find a house I liked , make an offer , have the offer accepted , go through closing , and move , I looked at some houses . I found one that I liked , but told my realtor ( hereinafter referred to as Judas ) that I would have to have my structural guy ( i . e . , my boss ) take a look at it before I would make any offer at all . On Saturday , my boss and I went out and did a thorough inspection . I was ready to make an offer ; however , there was going to be an Open House on Sunday , and I decided to wait and see if any offers came in via the Open House before I put in my own bid , as I could not afford to go in at the full listing price . On Sunday I spied on the Open House . I parked down the street and watched to see how many people showed up . There were plenty of people , but only a couple who stayed long enough to show any real interest in the place . So when Judas ( my realtor ) called the listing agent on Monday morning and the listing agent told him they 'd had " plenty of offers " , we knew it was probably bullshit , and I went in low . The sellers countered my offer . I countered back . We may have a deal . My heart may stop . Oh , and see all that baby shrubbery in front of the house ? When I looked at it on Friday night , that planting area was full of huge , dead bushes . When I went back on Saturday , the landscaper was pulling out of the driveway , and Voila ! Brand new baby shrubbery .
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I 'm making chocolate wedding cakes , wedding bells , and interlocked hearts for my soon to be sister - in - law 's wedding shower next weekend . Seeing that the temperature is predicted to reach 90 on Monday , I decided to take advantage of the cool evening to work on the chocolate . For as much as I bake and love confectionery goodies , I have never melted down chocolate into molds . I think that the turned out pretty cute , don 't you ? I haven 't decided if I want to offer them with the cheese and fruit trays during the wine tasting ( we 're having the shower at a winery ) or if I want to use them as a decoration on top of the cupcakes I will be making . Her colors are black and white so I used dark and white chocolate . Wait till you see the super cute cupcake wrappers I found . They are white with black fleur de lis . I 'm going to make 1 / 2 dark chocolate with white frosting and the other 1 / 2 white with dark chocolate frosting . Chai kept me company in the kitchen , although I think she just really wanted to go outside . I don 't blame her , it 's such a nice night . But I 'm not climbing out onto the roof in the dark . Sorry little girl . According to today 's regulators and bureaucrats , those of us who were kids in the 40s , 50s , 60s , 70s or even the early 80s , probably shouldn 't have survived . Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead - based paint . We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles , doors , or cabinets , and when we rode our bikes , we had no helmets . ( Not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking ) . As children , we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags . Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat . We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle . Horrors ! We ate cupcakes , bread and butter , and drank soda pop with sugar in it , but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing . We shared one soft drink with four friends , from one bottle , and no one actually died from this . We would spend hours building our go - carts out of wood scraps and fruit crates and then rode down the hill , only to find out we forgot the brakes . After running into the bushes a few times , we learned to solve the problem . We would leave home in the morning and play all day , as long as we were back when the streetlights came on . Now one was able to reach us by cell phone . Unthinkable ! We did not have Playstations , Nintendo 64 , X - Boxes , no video games at all , no ninety - nine channels on cable , videotape movies , surround sound , personal cell phones , personal computers , or Internet chat rooms . We had neighborhood friends ! We played dodge ball , and sometimes , the ball would really hurt . We played other games such as Kick the Can and Capture the Flag . We fell out of trees , got cut , and broke bones and teeth , and there were no lawsuits from these accidents . They were accidents . No one was to blame but us . We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it . We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms , and although were told it would happen , we did not put out very many eyes , nor did worms live inside us forever . We rode bikes or walked to a friend 's home and knocked on the door , or rang the bell or just walked in . Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team . Those who didn 't had to learn to deal with disappointment . Some of us weren 't as smart as others , so we failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade . Horrors ! Tests were not adjusted for any reason . Our actions were our own . Consequences were expected , no one to hide behind . The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of . They actually sided with the law . Imagine that ! This generation has produced some of the best risk - takers and problem solvers and inventors , ever . - ANONYMOUS Today I did my first headstand in yoga class . My neck and upper back muscles are definitely not strong enough to stay in the pose for very long . I 've had a stiff neck all day , like I slept on it weird . I just finished my federal and state taxes . I 'm getting a little more than I had expected so yay ! I should be able to pay off some debt sooner than I thought . Let 's talk about the weekend . My sister came for a visit . She showed up late on Friday night , but not too late to grab some dinner at The Quiet Storm . After dinner I took her over to my office at CMU and showed her the new Gates building and the Randy Pauche Memorial Bridge all lit up with it 's LED light display . After a stop at the Market District Giant Eagle we headed back to my place to bake a loaf of bread for breakfast in the morning . After a yummy breakfast of homemade bread , eggs from her boyfriend 's farm , and fried potatoes , we headed over to the year round farmers ' market in East Liberty . I had been wanting to visit there and I knew she would jump at the chance to visit a market , with her boyfriend being a farmer and all . We both bought some Amish goat cheese ( mine was with cranberries and almonds , yum ) and she bought some raw milk . She and her boyfriend are always talking about the benefits of raw milk but they are not allowed to sell it in Ohio . I know that the milk in the grocery stores is horrible for you , so I try to buy other types of milk occasionally . Right now I have some almond milk . But I have to say , I do enjoy cow 's milk over any other form of milk . I guess I 'm going to have to buy some raw milk every Saturday . After the farmers ' market I took her to see Margrert and her tea shop over in Squirrel Hill . My sister exchanged the tea pot I had bought for her for Christmas for a larger and nicer version . Since the weather was so nice , we spent about an hour walking around Squirrel Hill . Made a quick stop at the Irish Design Center in Oakland and then headed to the Strip to the History Museum ( another place I had been wanting to go ) . We probably would have enjoyed the museum more if we had not been so tired from staying up until 3am waiting on the bread to bake . Gah ! 5 days since my last post ! I am a creature of habit , and that habit involves starting a routine , doing well with that routine , missing one day that soon turnes into a few days to a week and more and more until I abandon all chance of going back to the routine . So , I 'm trying to break the pattern and here I am ! Friday : Worked from home and shoveled the porch , steps and side walk . Joined my roommate and several of her girlfriends for dinner and tarot card readings . The card reader didn 't tell me anything that I didn 't really already know , but she did give some validity to the things I thought that I knew . Saturday : Bought fish for the fish tank , grocery shopped , baked a loaf of bread ( 1st time ever ! ) , and took most of the Christmas decorations down . The trip to the grocery store was insane since we had had a week of snowy weather . Everyone was out to restock the fridge and pantry on Saturday ! Which brings me to today . I finally submitted the Requisition for the PO at work that I had been avoiding for over a week . It took less than 30 minutes ( including a botched first attempt ) . I had been avoiding it because creating a Requisition is something that I do so infrequently that I really have no idea what to do or if I 'm doing it correctly . But , I had to do it so I just went for it . Took 2 attempts but I think the second one did go through . Now I wait to see if I did it correctly and it gets approved . I put away the rest of my Christmas decorations tonight . I thought that I 'd be really sad about the cold and empty feeling that the home gets after the decorations come down , but I 'm not too distraught about it . It 's actually kinda nice to have everything clean and minimal . That 's part of how I think I want 2010 to be . . . minimal . Minimal tv watching , minimal eating out , minimal nights staying up later than I should . . . . Oh , I almost forgot about the title of the blog . Tonight I was Little Miss Fix - it . I store all of my bins of Christmas decor in my closet . I keep my clothes in two Ikea wardrobes . Since my closet is all storage , I rarely get in it and just keep the door shut . Only problem was the door would not latch . Not because the closet is over stuffed , it 's arranged quite nicely and neatly . No , it was because the door knob and latch weren 't working correctly . I decided to take the whole thing apart . How difficult could it be ? The answer , not difficult at all . The problem was caused by this little spring piece which had slipped , and not forcing the latch part to snap back out of the door . These are old doors here with old hardware . I took pictures which I will have to post tomorrow . I was so proud of myself , I took the latch apart on the bathroom door as well . The trouble with that latch was different , it was sticking . I sprayed it with some lubricant for bicycle chains and I think it 's a little better . It 's not perfect but that one was and still is livable . I started a yoga class tonight at Yoga on Centre . Taking a yoga class was something that I have been wanting to do for years . I 'm so happy to have found a studio that fits . Wednesday is trash day . I live in a building with 4 apartments and every Tuesday evening after work , I come home to see all the trash cans for these 4 apartments at the curb . I do not know who puts out the trash every week , but in return , I bring all the cans back to place on the side of the porch as I leave in the morning for work on Wednesday . This morning the trash had not yet been collected . I 'm sure the snow had delayed the garbage collectors regular schedule . But when I got home from work , there were the cans waiting for me . Now , someone had grabbed their can only and returned it to their spot . Makes me wonder how people can expect that someone else will take care of the rest . . . but . . . that fifth can would have meant another trip for me , so thanks . Since I was out in the cold already , I grabbed the shovel , which I have placed inside the front door of the building for anyone to use , and shoveled the porch , steps and front walk . I was on a roll so I climbed up on a plasic chair from the porch to lock one of the front fench doors which someone had unlocked in order to move something large into the building and neglected to put back in place . I have gone through those unlatched doors for over a week now . Nope , no one else is going to do it , so I 'm on it . Tonight I had a lovely dinner and a movie date with my dear friend Krista whom I do not get to see often enough . We dined at Panera ( I practically live there ) and saw " Nine " . I love movie musicals . But I still can 't figure out what " Nine " stands for . There were only seven muses . I took my car to Ryan 's Auto Glass today to have a repair made to my windshield . A small , quarter sized starburst shaped crack . The very nice man who greeted me when I entered the shop told me that I had the worst kind of crack and it was in one of the worst possible places . The crack was actually several little cracks and it 's proximity to the edge of the windshield meant that it would be a delicate procedure . After only about 20 minutes they told me that it was a success and I was good to go ! Thanks Ryan 's Auto Glass : o ) I 'm off to watch The Big Bang Theory then go to bed . I didn 't get as much sleep as I wanted to last night . I think I managed about 5 hours . I couldn 't fall asleep and once I did , I kept waking up . I think that I was afraid to fall asleep because I was afraid I would over sleep due to my sleeping - in - marathon over the past couple of weeks . Needless to say , I was not very productive at work today . It 's cold out . One good reason to make this an early night . The other good reason . . . I go back to work tomorrow . Oh my goodness it 's been so nice to have these past 10 days free to do what I want when I want . I 'm going to have to use 2010 to find a way to make this life style happen more frequently . Filled my bird feeder . Why is this an accomplishment do you ask ? Well , filling my bird feeder involves me climbing out of a window onto a snow covered roof and reaching for a bird feeder hanging in a tree and not falling a story into the backyard . Therefore this is an accomplishment . What is this ? is another question you may be asking . Boy , I 'm raising all kinds of questions tonight . This is a power strip attached to the side of my dresser so that I can 1 . Get the strip off the floor and 2 . use the strip to plug in this . . . Assembled an aquarium . Like the bird feeder , this is mostly for Chai . I like to give her things to look at like birds and now fish ! Well , we don 't have fish yet , cause they would be dead . I 'm going to stop by a pet store tomorrow and see what I need to do to the water to make it safe for a few fishies . Took a drive out through Ohar Township and Fox Chapel to Beechwood Farms Nature Reserve to pick up a book I have to have read before my first class on Jan 30 . What class ? ( See , lots of questions ) . I 'm taking a class on beekeeping . I know ! I 'm freaking excited about it ! Bought two pairs of yoga pants for the yoga class I 'm beginning on Thursday . Ordered a paddle to replace the one I lost for the bread machine I adopted from my parents . Can 't wait to start making bread ! I know that this can be done with out the aid of a bread maker , but I have never made bread that way and I 'd rather not have to . Took a nice hot shower , applied lotion with some new products I picked up today to make my skin soft and now I am ready for bed at 8 : 10pm drinking a glass of red wine called Zuse 's Blood and eating slices of a chocolate orange . I am the master of looking at time off as time to clean , organize , read , catch up on projects fallen to the way side , and then realizing that there is only one day remaining in my vacation and I have managed to not complete the tasks I wanted to have completed . I did however manage to take a lot of time to rest , sleep in till lunch time , watch several movies on my Netflix que , go bra less for 2 days straight and be at peace . I chose to live the past two days following this philosophy . . . I did finish the inbox project I started yesterday and now my hotmail and yahoo inboxes are less than one page full . I still have some emails to reply to . I 'm horrible at email correspondence . Maybe that 's why I have not been more successful with eHarmony . Oh ! I totally forgot to mention the super happy moment that occurred while I was out shopping for my new bedding . I was in Marshalls looking at blankets when I found a cute little soft and fluffy bath mat on clearance for 5 bucks . Since it was only 5 bucks I decided that I neede it . I went to the register to make my purchase and when the woman in line in front of me was finished she turned to me , handed me a gift card and said " There is $ 9 left on this card . Knock yourself out ( or maybe it was ' Go crazy ' ) . " I got that bathmat for free ! I wished her a very Happy New Year and left the store with a huge smile on my face . Ok . So I had to do a second post today to share a smile with you . I 've been blogging for a little less than a month now and it was bound to happen eventually . . . I 'm sharing a small obsession with you . I 'm sure that this will not be the last time I mention it . My plan for today was to do as little as possible and I succeeded . I spent the majority of this first day of 2010 on the couch with my laptop cleaning out my inboxes . I haven 't finished all my inboxes ( including my work email ) but I made some good progress . I think that I deleted around 1000 emails . A good new year resolution for me would be to pick on day a week to clean out the inbox . In cleaning out last years ' emails I got to relive a little of 2009 and refresh my memory of all the events that took place . If I had to pick one word to define 2009 it would be busy . I like being busy but the busyness of 2009 was for distraction . I kept finding projects to distract me from dealing with things that I wanted to ignore . 2010 is going to be different . I 'm looking forward to working on Lynnetta and doing some things that I want to do and have wanted to do for a long time now . Around 7 : 00 this evening I had a baked good withdrawl . Last week was full of cookies and chocolates and my body longs for more . My remedy was an oatmeal cake . It tasts as good as it smells . And since it is made with oatmeal , I won 't feel guilty about eating it tomorrow for breakfast .
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I tell myself every year that I 'm going to put together a gift guide on my blog and it seems that I forget some years ! Below are some fun favorites that would be great for girlfriends , sisters , daughters , etc . Le Labo has an extremely popular scent ; Santal 33 . It 's really beautiful and unique so I 'm curious as to how the other scents smell . That Anastasia Beverly Hills palette has been sold out a few times from Sephora this year , but I believe it 's currently back in stock . How funny is the pizza sweatshirt though ? ! I 'm kind of obsessed with dry shampoo and Living Proof products smell sooo good . That luggage tag is so perfect , and the brown weekender bag makes a perfect pair for it . Leather ( or pleather ) moto jackets are surprisingly a very chic outfit piece right now , I can 't believe I don 't have one . Snatch those macaron ornaments up , there 's still time to add to your tree ! Who else has some recs ? ! Not like I can buy all these things right now , my bank account is telling me I should be making homemade coupon books for everyone this year . HAPPY HOLIDAYS ! Dress shopping . What a fun experience ! ( And honestly a little stressful ) . I grabbed a fun downtown Minneapolis hotel for 2 nights and drove down to the Twin Cities to shop for wedding dresses . I originally just booked one bridal boutique ; a & bé bridal shop , and they allowed up to 4 - 5 seats . So I had my mom , sisters , and future MIL meet me down there . This was booked two months in advance . The day before I drove down , my mom texted me and said I probably should 've booked at least one other place . Duh ! So I snuck myself into two other bridal shops last minute ; Che Bella Boutique and Posh Bridal . Two other great places . Adam and Mira came down as well and took the opportunity to do some hotel pool swimming , zoo visiting , and Valley Fair . Mira is obsessed with swimming . She literally woke up at the crack of dawn , opened the drapes , and would say , " it 's light out ! Wake up ! Let 's go swimming ! " . Saturday morning we started at Che Bella Boutique . I picked that place because I researched some of their designers and they had some really good ones I had been eyeing . I was the first appointment , so it was quiet at the beginning . We were greeted by sweet , friendly young girls with scones and water . My personal stylist let me pick out the dresses I liked and she would take them to my dressing room and stand outside waiting for zipping and unzipping . Once other appointments started coming in it did feel a little crowded , but it was a cool trendy atmosphere . I had good luck there but nothing stopped me in my tracks . I figured I could come back if something really was on my mind . My sisters were both taking pictures the whole time too so I could always review later . Then it was time for Posh Bridal . It was in a ritsy part of Wayzata ( not sure if there are parts in Wayzata that AREN ' T ritsy ? ) . I went to the Rack first , which was the sale part of Posh . I had some luck there and most things were half price ! Moved on to the actual shop and we were greeted at the door with champagne and other treats . The energy was really high over there and everyone seemed to be having so much fun and so happy to see us . We had a huge part of the shop to ourselves , which was cool . Gorgeous plush white couches and chairs with big windows letting lots of light in . Huge fancy floor mirrors , and awesome wedding themed music playing . The only thing I didn 't like was that my personal stylist was IN the dressing room with me the whole time , seeing me naked and all . Not really for me , but hey , at least she was helpful . The dresses I tried on there were all very different from one another , and most weren 't really my style . Lots of them were " they are pretty on , but not for me " and definitely some hard no 's too . I didn 't mind the constant flow of champs coming our way though ; ) it felt very celebratory . Lastly , was a & bé . This one I was most excited about because it was the original one I chose . And I followed this shop on social media and was obsessed with all the designers they had . This place was very big and completely open . There were dressing rooms but otherwise it was all open space . The way I would describe it was it seemed very " New York " . The people there were more serious and seemed to be more into the fashion aspect . My mom didn 't really love the vibes . I didn 't care , they had amazing dresses . My stylist was Olivia , and she was quiet and sweet . She had me walk around the racks and pick dresses with her and she 'd write them down . ALL of the dresses I tried on I was in love with . They were a little more unique than the other shops I went to . Well , I will spare some details , but little did I know I was going to be driving back down the following weekend because of my indecisive mind . Spoiler : I got a two piece dress . I ended up deciding to only purchase the bottom from a & be , so I went to yet ANOTHER dress shop that next weekend ; Bridal Accents Couture ( recommended by one of my bridesmaids : ) ) to look for the top . Bridal Accents Couture was a very nice , beautiful , clean shop . The dresses were beautiful , and most were different designers from what I had tried on at all the other places . I was on the hunt for a certain Watters top that nobody in Minneapolis seemed to have , but I did find something similar and beautiful . I waited over 24 hours to call them back and say " yes " to it to make sure I was not going to change my mind . So yep , I said yes to the dress at two different places , two different weekends . This basically showcases how picky I am . But now I can say I sort of designed my own dress and can check it off my list ! I 'm so very excited to announce that ( finally ) I 'm engaged ! I mean we 're engaged ! For the last , I don 't know , FIVE years ( or ever since Pinterest was invented ) I have browsed the wedding Pinterest category and made an embarrassing amount of secret wedding boards . I felt like I could have an impromptu wedding at any moment . Weddings are so much more than pinning 4 carat princess cut rings and flower crowns . There 's just so many real life aspects that really make me want to hire a wedding planner . I have emailed the popular venues in town and a couple are already booked for every single Saturday next summer through October . How ! ? I have browsed 70 million photographers in the area . How do you choose " the one " ? ! How many people do we invite ? We want it small , but at the same time don 't want to leave anyone out . I want to be surrounded by all the people I love and cherish , but once you get over a certain guest number , the prices shoot up . Every single thing seems like a dilemma . But . Yes , there 's a but . It 's all fun . This is my forte ; planning . Coordinating . I have come to love it . Teenage me wouldn 't believe it . I have to talk myself down , though . I can not give into the pressure of having an over the top wedding . I don 't need all the bells and whistles . I don 't need to rent a limo . I don 't need to have a mini orchestra . I don 't need to serve filet minion . Every single wedding website and blog make me feel pressured into having this picture perfect magazine - worthy wedding , when in fact , that 's not for me . I want it to be beautiful , but not obnoxious . Something cute , simple , and quaint . And those who know me , I gag at the word traditional anyway . A lot of doors close when you 're in your twenties . It feels constant ; hearing " No " in all its forms . You 're not only trying to find yourself , but build a career , build a family , build relationships , and build wealth . Something is always bound to go wrong while you 're building , and you just have to push through it . I have failed . Nothing dramatic , but , yes , I have failed . There are thousands of quotes about failure that I basically come across daily on social media outlets . I have ignored every single one of them . I thought they were just words , like they weren 't speaking to me . It 's like I thought they were only speaking to everyone else in the world BUT me . It has now hit me , though ; all the times I 've failed at something , I 've let it pile up and define me . I 've kept a tally of my failures like they were etched on me as a tattoo . I am not my failures . I 've come to the realization that all those quotes about failure , i . e . " Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again , this time more intelligently " were right ( I could go on and on with more quotes ) . Failure is not final . It 's inevitable . It 's a wrong turn . The only way to avoid it is to live cautiously . But you will also miss out on the chance to succeed as well . Every time a door shuts , a new one doesn 't automatically open . Sometimes you 'll spend days , months , or even years stuck in that limbo land trying to unlock or pry open a new door . Sometimes that door is a trap door . Sometimes it 's a door meant for someone else . Eventually you find YOUR door . Eventually you walk through the door and look back and wonder how you almost gave up . THAT 's what being in your twenties is all about . Living the exact advice you 've previously ignored . The life changing realizations . Ones that leave me sitting here with tears in my eyes not because I 'm sad , but excited for what 's to come . Excited that I have failed , because it 's bringing me closer to new opportunities . I have been taking this long , messy gravel road and though I have taken wrong turns and ended up on beaten paths , I have been able to navigate through it and find a better path . There are no signs telling you where to go , you 're essentially feeling in the dark . You bump into things and hurt yourself , but that only means you 're finding your way . I can 't believe I 'm realizing something now that everyone else has probably already realized . But it feels good to have a wave of optimism and self realization . I want to remember this feeling . I want to share it . 2 comments As I got to the grocery store parking lot the other day , an old 90 's Buick was sitting in the middle of the crosswalk , blocking the way to cars trying to park . I muttered some comment about how old people shouldn 't drive . I eventually snuck around the car and peeked over to a short , 5 foot woman getting out of the car with her headscarf on , probably protecting her newly permed hair from the strong winds that day . I looked at the driver and he was a thin upper 80 's aged man , whose head was sitting at the top of the window . These were basically my grandparents if they were still alive . I went from mildly annoyed to a quivering swollen face ; immediately getting a headache from trying to hold my tears in . I 've lost all of my grandparents before I ever got pregnant . And while I am sad about it , I can accept it . They were old , it was their time , and most of all I don 't think they would 've really liked our world anymore . I don 't think their hearts could 've handled it . When I 'm reminded of my grandparents I often get teary - eyed , not just because I miss them . It 's because I 'm reminded of what I cannot afford to lose . And no offense to them , but that sad feeling I get when I think of them is only a fraction of what I would feel if I would ever lose someone closer to me . I have this irrational amount of worry . I worry about driving in my car . I worry when I let my daughter play in the front yard . I worry when someone else is babysitting her . I think of all that could happen and multiply it by ten . And now I 'm wondering , am I going to be THAT mom that doesn 't let her ride her bike to the park or ride in the car with her friend 's parents to get ice cream ? Or go to sleepovers ? This is just the beginning of the lifelong worries . It 'll be never ending , I know this . The innocent sleepovers will turn into boys , which will turn into college parties . I will cross that bridge when we get there . That is all I can say for now . I just wanted to write about my biggest struggle as a mom . I don 't know if it 's fixable . But I do know that it has been a positive tool as well , imagining disasters . I have the ability to see the worst possible scenario and in - turn , be so incredibly thankful when everything turns out to be okay . I may be a worst case scenarioer , but I am so so so appreciative of what I have every single day . Leave a Comment | LABELS : authenticity , 2 . Put a ridiculous ad on craigslist and use your spouse 's phone number asking for texts only . One year I put an ad on for free tickets to the midnight showing of Twilight and used my boyfriend 's roommate 's number : D You guys . I have an obsession with baby names . I have a list on my iphone notepad that keeps on getting longer . Too bad I 'll never use 99 . 9 % of them ! So I figured I would share the love with you all ! My favorite hipster name right now is Pabst . Just kidding : ) Mira turned 3 on Friday and we had a little party at our house for her . She had so much fun , but most of all she got to enjoy tons of sweets . She 's obsessed with candy , so we turned it into a birthday week . Lucky . I wish I still got birthday weeks . Eating : Besides snacking on fruit , pretzels , yogurt , and string cheese , she lives off of chicken , peanut butter sandwiches , and cheese sandwiches . Extremely picky . Sometimes she 'll eat spaghetti or mac and cheese , but she has to be in the right " mood " . Bathroom : Has been completely toilet trained for a little over month now and is able to wear underwear to bed because she stays dry . She uses public restrooms , porta potties , stranger 's bathrooms , everything . We started this process last August and hit lots of rough patches , but she 's finally got it down for good . We 're really proud ! Books : She has too many favorites , but currently loves the little mini board books , ballerina stories ( Talulah ) , and loves to check out new ones from the library . Shows : Current favorite is Galaias my Big Big Friend Why should we only make peanut butter blossoms during christmas time ? These cookies are so delicious I find every excuse to make them year round . I salivate just thinking about biting into the peanut buttery goodness . INGREDIENTS 1 . Pre - heat oven to 325 degrees . Mix the sugars with the butter , egg , and peanut butter in large bowl . Then add the rest of the dry ingredients until dough forms . I added some red food coloring to make a tie - dye effect . 2 . Refrigerate the dough for a half hour . Take out and make one inch balls and lay out on cookie sheet . 3 . Bake for 10 minutes or until edges are golden brown . Unwrap the Reese 's hearts while you wait . When finished , immediately press the hearts into each cookie . 4 . Move cookies to cooling rack . You might want to even stick them in the refrigerator as well . Those Reese 's hearts take forever to cool off ! I never thought I 'd nurse Mira until she was two years old . I remember the extremely accomplishing feeling of making it to 6 months , because those were honestly the hardest months breastfeeding . Then making it to one year , I couldn 't believe . By that point I was working and having to pump 3 times a day , though . It sucked . After a few months of pumping at work , I decided to stop . Pumping that is . I just hoped that I was able to produce for Mira in the evening . Which I was ! It was the best of both worlds ; my production slowed down enough for me not to get engorged , but I had enough for her once I got home . For a long time she was nursing 3 - 4 times a day ( and getting up in the middle of the night to nurse ) . When she hit 18 months , she started asking for it herself , which was adorable . " Hummy ? " she would say . She was also finally sleeping through the night ! 18 months seemed like a significant enough age to start weaning ; I just wanted to have my body be completely mine again . So I tried to wean the cold turkey way . Kind of . She would ask for it , and I would turn her down . She didn 't take that too well . She 'd throw an absolute fit and it broke my heart . For a child who had always nursed on demand , of course this was going to happen . I 'd end up giving in within 20 seconds . I tried several times to replace her hummy inquiry with a sippy cup of milk . She was not into that . The worst was when we got home after picking her up from daycare . She wanted to nurse the second we walked in the door ; I literally couldn 't even take my coat off or go to the bathroom without her having a mental breakdown . She 's one hard kid to wean ! After trying a few different things , we eventually cut down to two feedings a day , and after a couple months , once a day . Then towards the end it was once every other day . And as of today , it 's been 10 months since she 's nursed . All through trial and error . But every child is unique and handles weaning differently , so here are 5 things that worked for us . 1 . Have daddy put her to bed . This can be any significant other , babysitter , etc . , but not every mama has someone at home with them for bedtime , so I realize this can 't work for everyone . Really anything you can do that changes the normal night routine could suffice . This made cutting out our bedtime feeding the easiest one . 2 . Replace with a favorite snack or drink . I thought that giving her a sippy cup of milk every time she asked to nurse was the best thing , since it was the closest thing to the boob , but it wasn 't . She wanted nothing to do with a sippy cup when it came to nursing . I tried a few other choice snacks and that didn 't work either . I figured out it had to be her absolute favorite snack , something that brings her comfort like nursing does . For us , it was puree pouches , like Happy Tot 3 . Do not wear low cut shirts . Out of sight , out of mind . Mira would be just fine crawling all over me like a jungle gym , unless I had cleavage showing . Then her face was all up in the hummy and there was no turning back 4 . Set times of day to nurse and stick with them . This is mostly the hardest for weekends when you 're not on a schedule . I always made sure to tell Mira " it 's not hummy time " if she asked mid - morning or at supper time . I also started the " no nursing in public " rule after she was already a year and didn 't rely on it for food . Part of it was that people get judgy ( unfortunately ) , but most of it was just me wanting to keep my boobs to myself . 5 . Don 't cut out more than one nursing session at a time . Go slowly . Like you can read from above , each time I cut out a session , I would leave it like that for months at a time until deciding to cut out another one . Trying to wean too fast will make your littles feel betrayed and hurt . Some kids are easier than others . Some are just plain stubborn ( like mine ) ! Take it at their own pace because after all , this is their nourishment , their comfort , and probably their favorite past time that you are taking away , so do not rush them . You know when you 're pregnant and people start telling you all this stuff and you 're like yeah ok . . . . Well they were right about most things . Here are 5 of the most cliché things that you hear that are actually true . 1 . You talk about your baby 's shit everyday with each other . Sometimes after 2 minutes I have to stop the conversation and bring us back to earth . 2 . You become ultra boring on weekends . If one of you wants to go out , the other will not . No one will be upset about it though , deep down neither of you wants to do anything but sit in front of netflix anyways . 3 . You are a worrier . You side - eye that new day - care room college volunteer as if they aren 't fit to be in the presence of your child , you think a 99 degree temp is deserving of an ER visit , if your kid sleeps in one hour longer than normal you go in and check on them seven times just in case . 4 . Parenthood is actually the hardest job out there . I don 't even know how to elaborate on this . It just is . It 's more mentally exhausting than it is physically though . Especially when you have a toddler who 's in that " pushing the limits " stage , whether it 's your limits or the blueray player 's limits or simply just gravity 's limits . Something is always getting wrecked . 5 . Your life completely changes when you become a parent . I didn 't really take this fully to heart when people told me that once I got pregnant . I thought , " yeah , I can 't go out partying all the time , so what ? " . But it 's more than that . You no longer can be selfish . You hardly do things or buy things for yourself . It 's not even because you can 't , it 's because you don 't want to . You don 't get to put on headphones and jam out to music while reading a book . You have to wait until your kid is sleeping to do that . Instead of reading those " coming - to - age , 20 - something - books " you are reading books about vaccinations and breastfeeding and things like " how to raise a grateful , contributing member of society " . You just want to be the best " you " you can be for your kid . Let 's hear from you ! Okay , there are a thousand mistakes we can make while blogging . Trust me , there 's not just 5 . I 'm still always learning , but know that there 's naturally going to be growing pains no matter how much you learn . You end up learning many things the hard way . So I 'm sharing some of my growing pains in hopes that maybe it 'll leave you with less growing pains . 1 . Choosing not to write about topics you really want to I struggled with this so much . I didn 't want to appear like a know it all . For example , this topic , blogging ? Yeah , I 'm no expert . But I figured I would just write about things I learn and sell it that way . Don 't pretend you 're an expert , address it like , " hey this is what I 've learned so far " . Your voice might be exactly what someone wants or needs to hear . So what if you 're not an expert , your piece of advice is perfect for someone . Sometimes when you read a blog , it feels stiff and cumbersome . Like you 're reading a cold email or someone 's research paper . Some people try too hard to sound impressive , or sometimes just don 't speak in enough of a conscious stream of thought . It ends up awkward . It ends up wordy . It doesn 't have a conversational flow . Come on . Make some jokes , make fun of yourself , use some clever metaphors . Blogging is about telling a story , and if you don 't sound conversational , people aren 't going to want to read what you have to say . Blogging is just unique in that way . ( I promise I 'm not trying to rhyme ) You can 't post once a month and call it good . Once a week or every other week is ideal , if not more ! You gain credibility when you 're consistent and that way your readers won 't feel abandoned . That being said , there 's nothing worse than seeing a fellow blogger with a new post that is literally a paragraph long . Lame ! Don 't disappoint your readers like that . I will say , though , it totally sucks when you work full time and still have to keep up with weekly / biweekly blog posts . I wrote about it here ; hope it helps ! It 's kinda tacky when you bloggers never reply back to their readers ' comments . Some sort of listening service needs to be in place . You will lose readers if you ignore them . That simple . If you decide your audience is everyone , it will be no one . People like to feel special and they like to find blogs that speak to them . You want your readers to feel personally connected . So zoom in on who exactly your blog appeals to . Think of age , gender , interests , values . What kind of magazines do they read ? What kinds of food do they cook ? What kind of clothes do they wear ? I 'm Lauren . I 'm a toddler mom from the north midwest who digs cooking , Shopping , hiking , and overall wellness . Come enjoy our journey of happiness ! View my complete profile This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of UPS . All opinions are 100 % mine . So , last Monday I posted about the UPS # Wishes . . . You guys . I have an obsession with baby names . I have a list on my iphone notepad that keeps on getting longer . Too bad I 'll never use . . .
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September 17 , 2015 By Justin Gilpin Leave a Comment The past 2 months have been quite exciting and / or challenging . I have witnessed the wonders of life and pain all at the same time . God continues to work in all the ministries here in Mindoro . Challenges in life aren 't always sent by God . Sometimes things just happen . As it says in the Bible , " It rains on the just and unjust . " I was given a chance to visit the church of one of my friends here in Calapan Mindoro . He is not Assemblies of God , but is still a very passionate man of God . At their church I was just trying to sit in the chair and hear from God . That particular week had been very busy for me . After his long preaching he had me come to the front and share a testimony of how I became a missionary . Then immediately after , I felt led to pray for any who were sick . Of the handful that came up for prayer , all were healed . The one that really stood out to me was a young man in his twenties . He told me how he used to be the worship leader in the church , and then something happened to his lungs and throat that prevented him from singing . Granted , he wasn 't a professional singer like the one who got healed in Cebu . But he still had a desire to be God 's worshipping Levite . My heart broke for him as he clearly had a hard time talking normally , and even breathing . I prayed for him and he said he didn 't notice much . I reminded him that we aren 't seeking for a feeling , but for God 's healing that can only be accessed by faith . About two weeks after the service , I bumped into one of the members of the church . She told me that he is now leading worship once again ! Praise God for what He has done ! I heard this recently from one of my favorite preachers : " The devil comes to steal , kill and destroy , but God takes the rap a lot of the times . The devil is the accuser of the brethren , and also accuses God to the brethren . Then we get mad at God for something He never did . ' God is sovereign so what will be will be ' is twisted . If God is in control then why do we have life and death in the tongue ? You couldn 't speak death , you 'd have no ability , why ? Cause God would control your tongue . Not everything that happens is the will of God . A lot of times we think everything is the will of God . If God 's in control then why would you need to pray ? Because what 's going to happen will happen anyway . Why have faith ? Cause God 's doing it , just let it go . A lot of the church is in a this state , ' Well , God 's in control brother … you know . ' Satan then gets away with one , then the next 20 . Before you know it , you 're bitter at God . Satan came to steal kill and destroy , but Jesus came to give us abundant life . " Personally I 've had my own challenges . One was being without a computer for nearly two months . Then during that time I got sick , messed up my knee , and just recently sprained my ankle . The ankle is from a dirt bike accident while riding with some friends . Despite that I 've been so blessed ! So many people have shown me that I am their friend by visiting me while I couldn 't walk . I 've had more than 10 + people bring me food , and / or clean my house + laundry . I am just speechless , as they have really treated me like family ! A business family I have been witnessing to is now starting to come to church . My old computer was repaired for free by Apple because of a defect . Not only was it repaired , but they actually put an entirely new motherboard in it . That is basically like getting a new computer ! I 've also found a great Tagalog language teacher here at the college near me . It 's no easy task to learn a language , but she is such a good teacher . The two ( Summer of Service ) SOS church plants were a success , and the grand opening services each had about 40 + people who attended to hear the pioneering pastor preach ! I stayed nearly two weeks Naujan , Mindoro and then just over a week in Victoria , Mindoro . Both churches now have a core group of members who have been water baptized , and are already serving God ! It was such a great time to partner with these local pastors , and help to evangelize their towns ! I got to witness to many professionals including the police station , fire station , and influential homes . Being small towns , we had all agreed to win over the people of influence . The first time I had meet the chief of police , I didn 't even think he liked my testimonies , or me but when I was out eating lunch the next day … he had paid for all of my teams meals then left before we realized what happened ! Then later that day I introduced the pioneering pastor to the chief of police , only to watch as they both bowed their heads to pray to Jesus in the police station 's main hall ! The fire marshal was another man who appeared to only be mocking me as I asked him if I could pray for him . He brought up that drinking of alcohol had messed up his stomach with some sort of sickness , and that he still continues to drink . He chuckled after he told me that he still drinks . I told the marshal , " that despite your disobedience to God , that God would still heal you " . That it would be ' the kindness of the Lord , that leads him to repentance ' . The fire marshal was speechless after prayer and was nearly in tears . All who were there witnessed a radical change in his countenance ! I believe God healed him , but personally didn 't get the chance to visit him again . The pioneering pastor was later given a chance to have a bible study right there in the fire station ! The next story really blew me away as I was caught off guard when a quack doctor came to pray for the woman we were praying for ! This lady would see a demon every Tuesday morning , so I was sure to bring the team there at that time . We prayed the night before , and as far as I know she has not seen the demon anymore ! While we were there , her quack doctor had arrived . I didn 't know how else to gently preach to him and his apprentice other than to use the Scripture . I first asked him if he believes the Word of God , and once he said yes , I knew it would pierce his heart . I read from the OT that talks about how those who practice such things were stoned to death , and immediately the young apprentice 's face became angry . They appeared to go through the motions of accepting Jesus as Lord of their life , but I wasn 't convinced , as it 's their culture to not offend others . Many times people say ' yes ' but really don 't mean anything by it . The real change happened when we visited their home . The young apprentice invited us over to pray for his father who had suffered from a stroke . On our arrival they were both there and witnessed the power of God heal his father from his serious pain . We all watched as the first time in years the father had stood up without pain ! He still needed assistance and much prayer , but was making great progress . The ex - quack doctor later said he was quitting his practice , and becoming a fisherman ! To me that sounded very prophetic , and now time will tell ! The Word of God truly doesn 't return void ! Even when we think the Word won 't be received , say it anyways . God kept doing radical miracles and it 's all because of your willingness to send forth missionaries where the Gospel had not yet been preached ! Let us all continue to do our part to fulfill the great commission ! I am so blessed by each of your lives and praying for you all ! I 've had many struggles since being back , but my focus is truly only on the good things . Do be praying for my housing situation and my safety as I travel my motorcycle to all the other pastors on the island . It 's a spiritual battle here , but we are on the winning team ! March 15 , 2015 By Justin Gilpin Leave a Comment In just one month , so much has changed ! Long story short is that I 've got a plane ticket to the Philippines and will be departing in two weeks on March 28th . So grateful for all of the new partners God has sent my way , as together we will change many lives for His glory ! The first month back in the Philippines , I 'll be planting two SOS churches ( Summer Of Service ) . That means I 'll finally get my fill of tons of evangelizing ! Do be praying for divine opportunities to really gather the influential people in both of the two cities . With 12 people ( apostles ) , the world was turned upside down . What can God do through us if that number is multiplied ? The SOS Church plants will be in Naujan and Victoria both located on the island of Mindoro . Three weeks are set apart by many self - funded local volunteers ( 30 - 60 ) to evangelize the area . The final goal is to get many new believers to meet each Sunday , and then establish an indigenous church . There has already been a lot of planning that 's gone into this , and I 'm just going to be arriving at the tail end to do all the fun stuff … evangelize ! Don 't ever doubt what God can or won 't do in your life . He 's taken this extremely introverted guy and turned him into a missionary who can 't meet enough strangers ! Even my Briggs Myers personality test ( INTP ) says that my least likely job would be a minister . God uses the least likely people , and it truly does confound the wise while at the same time reflect His sense of humor . P . S . To all those who read my newsletters just for faith building stories and healing videos ; I won 't leave you disappointed ! Here are some of the videos I 've recently uploaded on Facebook . November 17 , 2014 By Justin Gilpin Leave a Comment Praise be to the Lord who makes everything beautiful in His time . Not only that , but we rejoice in our sufferings , knowing that suffering produces endurance . I can only be grateful for how much God has been renewing my mind , even from the previous year . Walking by faith and resting on what the Lord has said about me , and not my own thoughts or feelings . The past couple of months I 've really been reflecting on our identity in Christ , and still weeding out lies in my own life that the enemy has had me to believe . It 's such a vital thing to have our ears tuned to what God says and then consider every man a liar ; including ourselves . What a marvelous thing it would be to walk with such perfect peace as the Lord promised to us . There is a place of peace where no situation or circumstance can motivate you to disbelief . Faith says , " Yes to the impossible " while the devil 's lies and carnal man says , " No , it 's not possible " . It doesn 't matter what lies we 've come to believe about ourselves , there is a way of out . Though the real issue remains in the fact that we get comfortable with the lie or even adopt it as our own personality trait . The Bible says , " Deny yourself , take up your cross and follow me " . It doesn 't say deny the devil , but yourself . The problem why we hold onto offense is because we haven 't denied ourselves yet . You 're not dead and carrying that cross , until you have denied your own thoughts , and allowed the God of the universe to renew your own mind . Oh how small is our way of thinking if we believe our future plans are better for us than then God almighty Himself ! Never settle in your walk to spiritual growth . The moment you do is the moment you begin to slip backwards to a carnal life at enmity against God . For it is written that man 's ways are against God 's . There is a place where you can be so free from you , that you 're free from others - Tod White . The personal attacks or offense of others have no weight , as the truth is they don 't realize their own identity in Christ . Why would you allow somebody 's opinions of you , influence you when they don 't even know who they are ? It is time to stop blaming the devil for all our issues as he only has one weapon against us . The enemy has no authority over your life unless you gave it to him and are being passive about the situation . " Jesus has all authority in heaven and earth " then the Word tells us , " He gave authority to His disciples to cast out devils and sickness " . So what does the devil have left ? The devil 's only weapon is deception . So while resting in God 's truth about my identity , He has used me to minister all across Georgia from the north next to Tennessee , to the south next to Florida . I was blessed to get a short vacation with some friends to South Carolina , thinking I 'd be on a break from ministry , but God had a different plan . He actually sent somebody to our condo to be healed ! Click here for that video . After my vacation , another friend blessed me with a missions trip to Costa Rica to help build in orphanage in a needy country ! Everywhere in between God has been healing from deaf ears , to crushed backs and sicknesses no doctors could heal ! Just how people applaud the musician and not the instrument after a performance , likewise , God is making the music out of this instrument . To Him be all the glory ! Please consider investing to change lives for eternity , where no rust or moth can destroy ! Even a single dollar a month is sufficient as a little plus a little equals a lot , and it would be a great reminder to pray for this guy monthly ! Thank you so much for being a blessing ! Click here to donate ! Yet again , God shows Himself to be all power and all in control ! Only thing that is required of us is to renew our minds and seek after Him . I want to share with you a quick video at the end of this article where is God healing a handful of people ! This newsletter 's has been delayed as I had lost track of time . You know the saying , " Time fly 's when you 're having fun " . Been a great summer meeting missionaries in Springfield , MO for my pre - field orientation and pastors all across Georgia ! Of course I 'm not exempt from the struggles of life , but I would like to share with you my secret for getting through those tough days . Best part is that I share it with only two verses from the same chapter . Mediate on them and take heed to what they say . " I know what it is to be in need , and I know what it is to have plenty . I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation , whether well fed or hungry , whether living in plenty or in want . I can do all this through him who gives me strength . " - Philippians 4 : 12 - 13 Lately I 've been busy studying , working , and traveling to raise support , which has made me weak at times . Those moments when we get weak is when it 's critical to look at what God has done and will continue to do in your own life ! One of my personal stories of God intervening recently on my behalf was when I was taking my standby ticket back to Georgia from Springfield . Family told me that I should stay in Springfield one more day as the standby list was long , and that 'd I 'd get stuck over night at the airport . Despite it being sound advice from someone who has had experience with standby tickets for many years ; I wanted to take the chance as I had places I had to be . The way one of those standby tickets works is that if there is an empty seat on the plane just before departure , they 'll call you up to stamp the seat number on the ticket to be seated at . The day of my departure , I went to pick up the standby ticket from the front desk at 4 : 30am to be greeted with , " There 's not much hope for you " . Then to be criticized again by the gate clerk saying , " It doesn 't look good for you today " . I had to fly from Springfield to Texas then finally to Georgia , taking two jets in all . That morning I just continued to thank God and trust that He 's able to make a way . Before the first plane departed , my name was called and I was on my way to Texas ! After landing I was greeted with a text message that I just witnessed a miracle , but it would take another really big miracle for me to make the next flight ! Rinse and repeat ! Prayed again but a little harder . Was told that each flight leaving to Atlanta was completely booked , and I was behind a long line of standby passengers . Then that moment of silence came when all of the other passengers boarded the plane , and I 'm sitting there waiting . All of the sudden the clerk says my name ! I walk up to the desk and the lady begins to mumble under her breath like she was angry , " I guess you get their first class ticket " . Glory to God ! Not only was my family able to help save me lots of money on the standby ticket , but God made a way when there seemed to be no way ! Flying with leg room was such a blessing . But little did I know that blessing would cause a chain reaction . Within 24hrs I was praying for sick people and they were getting healed . Then I had another first time experience occur . Little kids began to come up to me for prayer and were being slain in the Spirit at a church service in which I 'm not even a part of . These guys were no older than 8 ! Two of them were touched by God in this way , and then the 4 - 5 adults were healed by things they 've had to live with for many years . Glory to God for He is good ! We serve a good God and it 's my hope that you never lose sight of whatever is true , honorable , just , pure , lovely , and commendable ! Love you all ! April 23 , 2014 By Justin Gilpin Leave a Comment Have you ever felt like God can 't use you ? Well I sure have ! More so as a missionary because of language barriers . But let me share to you a story that will touch your heart and inspire you to be open to God 's voice . This story of mine begins with a desire to help somebody who earnestly needs it . I left early in the morning and headed to the hospital with nobody to help translate for me . I planned to just get there , and ask God where I should go . If they didn 't understand my English , it didn 't matter , as I 'd still pray for them . After arriving at the hospital I could sense God leading me to a room down the hall . A quiet voice was guiding me . As what is written in the Bible ; " the Spirit will be our Guide . " How can the Spirit " guide " us anywhere if we don 't know how to listen ? The room I arrived at happened to all be perfect at English , and family to the mayor of the island next door to Cebu ! I knew God had really sent me here to speak over them , and lead them to Christ ! They were inviting me to their island so they could give me a tour of the place , but I had said to them , " The reason I had come was to pray for their mother , and watch God heal her . " Her case for being in the hosital was from a kidney failure . She had a swollen stomach and leg because of the kidney . While talking to them about what was going on , the nurse who was also her family , took her blood sugar . It was at " 215 ″ and the normal should be much lower . After prayer all the pain in her body left ! She was shocked ! After this I asked the nurse to check the blood surgar again even though it 's only been 5 minutes . He pricked her finger and the machine said " 170 ″ . The nurse grinned then looked at me . I knew what God had done , but asked , " Is it possible to go down so fast ? " Nurse replied , " Only with an insulin shot ! " God had demonstrated another miracle ! This time making an impact in the government 's families ! The Lord not only used my willingness to help others , but shook the lives of everyone in that room . I had to be quick to give God glory as the elderly woman who had got healed began to look at me like some Catholic saint . Though all to God 's glory , it makes it easier to tell them that Jesus wants a relationship with them , the way I have with Him ! God can use anybody ! Believe me , I 'm no different than you ! My blood is red and I still make mistakes ! God can and will use you , if you allow Him ! Pray right now and ask God to make known His purpose for your life . He will give you purpose that will steer you away from self , and point you to others . It will liberate you from stress and worry , as God will pour out His Spirit that bears the fruit of love , joy , and peace . That fruit is much better than the American dream , " The pursuit of happiness " as it 's a promise not a pursuit . Let us stop drinking milk and upgrade to food ! Jesus said , " My food is to do the will of my Father . " If you 'd like to see the same kind of miracles happen to people once you pray for them , then I 'd like to put you on my prayer list ! Don 't write yourself off because you don 't know how ! Or maybe your thinking you live to far from me ? ! I 'm recruiting for those who live in Georgia as well ! When I get the chance to visit to the States in the near future , I will be spending much of my time flexing my spiritual muscles praying for the sick , and watching God heal them ! What better way to learn , then with a group who all desire the same thing ? I 'm at the beginning of my walk as a missionary , and as an evangelist . I don 't claim to know much , but what I do know I 'm willing to impart . Many here in the Philippines also get the chance to pray over the sick , and watch God heal them even in my absence . I never expected a year ago that I 'd get too see hundreds of miracles from deaf , paralyzed and cancer all being healed ! I stand in awe of the power of God , and what He 's said in His Word ! Healing is ment for today , and is ment for every country ! I 'm looking forward to your response of obedience when He said , " God heal the sick " . God bless and comment below if you have any questions ! P . S . I recommend John G . Lake ministries which is currently being led by Curry Blake . He is an inspiration to me and many others as a great teacher on how to heal the sick . Download Mp3 ′ s or Youtube videos of his series called " Divine Healing Technician aka DHT " . Click here for more . March 26 , 2014 By Justin Gilpin Leave a Comment The delivery man has finally arrived with much awaited report ! Excuse my absence , as I just couldn 't write another email until I had this information to share with you now ! For the last 10 months I 've been back in the states working with Assemblies of God to become an ordained missionary . Although I can 't be ordained for a few more years ( as I have to complete my degree with Global University among other requirements ) , I can attest to being accepted as a missionary associate as of March 17th 2014 ! I couldn 't have done it without your encouragements , prayers and support . Thank you so much for investing into God 's Kingdom and into my life ! This all means I 'll be speaking in the Tagalog and Bisaya language soon ! As a missionary associate , I 'm required to work under a veteran missionary for a year or two . I 'm blessed to have Ray Miller as my full term mentor . I 'm also very grateful for each of my missionary mentors who have helped me in many ways and are still helping ; Lewis McCown , Dwight Palmquist , and Otho Cooley ( thank you all ! ) . Ray Miller has much experience planting churches and raising up pastors for the Kingdom of God ! I 've been assigned to assist with outreaches in schools , evangelism and making disciples . The description of my work surely doesn 't end there , but it is at least some familiar ground . The last two years in the Philippines hundreds were healed and thousands were witnessed to who made decisions to follow Christ ( though taking them further into discipleship is the real focus ) . Pray with Ray and I as we serve in the Philippines . Where and when will I be departing ? As of now I don 't yet know when , but I do know WHERE ! I 'll be Philippine bound to a large island in the north called Mindoro . For the most part it sounds like I 'll be at Calapan , but churches are being planted all across the eastern side of the island . This location has just as much interesting history as the former place I was at in Cebu . There will be an indigenous group in Mindoro and far fewer people compared to Cebu city . Mindoro 's population is around 1 . 2 mil and is said to have been cut down in the past from former attacks by the Muslims and a rare breed of malaria . I doubt that there is little to worry about now , but there might be a heavy burden on the people , especially with all of these earthquakes and typhoons that have been hitting the Philippines that past few months . Although many things are unclear , there is one simple truth that I cling to ; most of the Philippines have yet to know Jesus their personal Lord and Savior ! Though the tide is turning , our work is not yet done until the entire world has heard the truth . Wikipedia says that the Philippines is 80 % Roman Catholic and 10 % being Christian , though it groups up the Christians with the Jehovah 's Witnesses , Iglesia ni Cristo , Mormons , and other cults . I think we 'd be fortunate to consider 4 % of the Philippines disciples of Jesus ! I didn 't realize how lost those Catholics really were as I was flying for the first time to the Philippines back in 2011 . I understood American Catholic 's perspective to differ greatly compared to those in the Philippines . We have yet to scratch the surface as a witness in the Philippines ! Natural disasters have been shaking up that country and people are seeking for answers . " How , then , can they call on the one they have not believed in ? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard ? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them ? ( Romans 10 : 14 ) . I 'll provide more details about the ministry in the the future , but what I do know is that I need to raise $ 9 , 597 upfront and $ 2 , 203 per month in pledges . What I ask from you is to commit to pray and support your brother in Christ as I go . I know it 's a cliche , but I really can 't do it without you ! We are a team that will storm the very gates of hell and they cannot prevail against us ( Matt 16 : 17 ) ! I ask that you be on the offense right now for His Kingdom and click here to sign a commitment form online . If you prefer donating by check ; click here to use the printable form . Please add my missionary account number # 2960516 to the form . Thank you for being used by God ! Because they haven 't heard , January 7 , 2014 By Justin Gilpin Leave a Comment Happy New Year ! Hope each of you had a Merry Christmas as well ! Most of us are beginning to think about our new years resolutions . But may I suggest before that happens , that time is set aside to reflect on the coming year ? A wise person once told me that , " If you don 't know the past and study history , then you are destined to repeat it " . Each of us has a year filled with both good and bad events . Some things we 'd like to erase from history if possible . Sadly it can 't be erased and we can 't redo anything , but it can be learned from while all the filth is washed under the blood of Jesus ! There is a story about a famous sheep who ran away from the shepherd for over 6 years . His name was Shrek , and he was just another sheep who lived in a country that outnumbered humans in the rolling hills of New Zealand . Eventually this sheep was found in the caves on that farmland , and sent to the shepherd . Shrek had been carrying 60lbs / 27kgs of wool during that time ! Can you imagine carrying a 60 pound backpack on you every day for years ? Like Shrek , many of us carry around baggage that we don 't need to carry . If we return back to the Shepherd , then He can shear the load off our backs . For He said , " Come to me , all you who are weary and burdened , and I will give you rest . Take my yoke upon you and learn from me , for I am gentle and humble in heart , and you will find rest for your souls . For my yoke is easy and my burden is light . " - Matt 11 : 28 - 30 It 's God 's desire that we are filled with peace , hope and love . He desires " that none shall perish , but have everlasting life " . The Bible is a book of promises and curses . We must read it to know what they are ! If you 've been spending time away from the Shepherd for whatever reason , then now 's the time to return . Another wise man told me something so powerful , that I find myself saying it often . " Do you wash your feet before you enter the shower ? No , likewise , we don 't have to clean up before we go to God " Have you been longing for peace and joy in your life , but haven 't found it yet ? Then lets not repeat the history of 2013 , but instead start now to follow God 's plan for your life in 2014 , so that it may be filled with purpose and joy ! As for this missionary 's life , it 's been tough being in a wilderness season . Always having to wait upon one thing or another . I do not despise this season , but look forward to a true season of harvest when I 'm able to return back to the Philippines ! They have had so many terrible events take place , that the entire world knows about . Cebu is in the Visayas region where that massive storm came through . It only clipped the northern end of Cebu , and for that I 'm grateful . Had it actually hit the city the numbers would be in the hundreds of thousands of deaths . Very soon Assemblies of God will release me to raise up funds to return to my second home ; the Philippines . After my previous newsletter I spoke about having been able to purchase a car … well it blew up just like the truck ! Glory to God my waiting period for another vehicle was shorter this time , as I only had to wait 2 months for transportation . God impressed on somebody 's heart to give me a car nicer than any I 've ever owned ! I 'm incredibly grateful for how God has continued to walk me through this wilderness . It 's been an incredible time of learning , both through life 's experiences and through seminary . One last word that I leave you with for the new year . Attain a vision for your life , not just a new years resolution to go on a diet . Though a diet is great , it 's no substitute for a plan for your life ! Pastor Jason this Sunday put it so well into words saying , " If you aim at nothing , you 'll hit nothing " . He also challenged every individual to write down their vision , and place it somewhere they can read it each day . I 'd like to pass on that challenge to you as well . Right now … this very moment … go and write down your vision ! The Bible says , " Where there is no vision , the people perish : but he that keepeth the law , happy is he . " Pro - 29 : 18 About 5 weeks ago the truck my uncle had let me borrow for my time here in the states blew a head gasket . Without a vehicle here in the States it is very hard to get to work , nonetheless church . I 've not been effectively able to do the two jobs God had given me here in Georgia without transportation . My brother , being a mechanic was able to replace the head gasket , but then concluded it has a cracked blocked . Times get tough for everyone , and I 'm not exempt from problems either ! I know each month people read my newsletters of amazing miracles , and I pray I never give the impression that life is without struggles , because it is not ! The financial situation was going from bad to worse . Most missionaries experience this , but when one comes back home their funds tend to decline . This was the month where I experienced that . So my funds have declined and the truck I was borrowing had seen it 's last days , now what ? Sunday Oct 7th was my day of dying to self and giving it all back to God . During the Sunday morning service at church they announced that this was the last week to join the men 's retreat . Knowing I don 't have the money for it , I prayed and asked God to make a way for me to go . The couple I was sitting next to found out at the end of the service that I was a missionary as they asked me about the islands printed on my shirt . We had a short and sweet conversation and then as I proceeded to leave , they caught me then asked , " Are you going on the men 's retreat ? " and " Would you like to ? " Needless to say I was shocked ! Didn 't know this couple from Adam and now they want to pay my way ! The gentleman told me God had prompted him , and then I knew my miracle had come ! The day wasn 't over yet either ! God wanted to love on me some more ! Later that same Sunday I was at my brother 's baby shower and met two ladies face to face whom had been inspired by my life . We 'd never actually met in person , but came to know each other online . As they left the baby shower , each of them blessed me with a financial gift ! Three different people who I had never meet up until this point were led by God to give to me on the same day ! I was blown away ! Who cares if my funds appear to " look " slim , God is still in control ! As we were traveling home from the baby shower God spared my family and me from a car accident . The rain caused a truck to spin out and hit the two cars behind us . Thank God no one was serious injured ! The day still isn 't over ! Later that Sunday night I was communicating with a friend , Shari , and asked her how can I pray for her . She only desired that I reach out more to the lost , and that made me want to insist more for a personal prayer . Shari 's daughter soon after told me she was in pain . While reading her daughter 's message , the Holy Spirit came upon me , and I knew she was going to get healed . It 's one of God 's ways to confirm to me who will be healed . The Holy Spirit revealed to me that the pain is in her shoulders which she later confirmed . After a quick phone call … she was instantly healed ! All glory belongs to God as I don 't even know how to stitch a cut let alone try and sew anything ! Shari 's life and prayer had also blessed my life as she has a pure heart towards others . Do say a prayer for her that every bone in her spine will regenerate completely and that no sickness can overtake her body ! God is able ! Just as God showed me the small concerns in my life matter to Him ; the small concerns in Shari 's life also matter . We were both re - taught the same lesson on the same day ! Now I pray that message spreads to give you hope ! Trust in Him for He who has led you is faithful ! P . S . I 've been accepted as a missionary associate in Assemblies of God ! They are tough to get in , and I didn 't even know if I would fit their standards ! God is the one who closes doors and opens another . Though a door maybe slammed in your face , I can assure you that God 's will is best ! Take the door He chooses for you ! P . P . S . Exactly seven years ago , Oct 3rd , I was in a motorcycle accident . What better way to commemorate it then with a video testimony on how God turns bad situations around ? Click here to watch the video . Thank you so much for your financial blessings and prayers ! I couldn 't reach others without you ! My God led supporters and prayer warriors have made it possible to touch this world for God 's glory ! I 'm so proud to be a part of your life ! How can I give you the thanks you deserve ? ! God bless you so much ! September 23 , 2013 By Justin Gilpin Leave a Comment In our life we struggle with many doubts . No one is exempted from this difficulty in life . Jesus said John the Baptist was the greatest prophet , and yet he did no miracles . This great prophet also had doubts like we do , even after seeing many miracles . The moment John saw Jesus , he said " Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world ! " . Then the revelation took place when , " He ( John ) saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove " . With such a powerful inclination to declare Jesus as the Savior , then to watch the Holy Spirit descend upon Him , how could John ever doubt ? Not to mention , he even heard the voice of God say , " This is my beloved Son in whom I 'm well pleased " . Not long after imprisonment , John the Baptist sent his disciples to ask Jesus , " Are you the one who is to come , or shall we look for another ? " John showed doubt and wondered why Jesus was fellowshipping with sinners and turning water into wine , while he himself was in Herod 's prison . John was expecting the Christ to come and judge the world , and then bring back His kingdom . Even Jesus ' disciples also wondered when He would bring the kingdom here on earth asking just before His ascension , " Lord , will You at this time restore the kingdom to Israel ? " John the Baptist wondered if he had misinterpreted the Scriptures . Maybe he heard wrong from God and Jesus wasn 't the Christ ? How many times have we wondered if God really spoke a promise to us ? You know the promise that you used to fervently pray about , but no longer do , or maybe you 're still waiting ? Maybe it is your marriage , ministry , a lost loved one or a promise that would give God glory . Somewhere along the way , you 've stopped praying for it as you don 't see the results you desire , or maybe question whether it was from God or not . Faith is hardest during the last season of your breakthrough . People who have courage are people who move through fear to courage . People who have faith are people who move through doubt to faith . So how do we move deeper into this kind of faith and trust in God ? Satan was planting doubt in the life of John the Baptist trying to get him to slip up in his words . John took his question straight to Jesus , the one that mattered , as should we ! Had he thought Jesus wasn 't the Christ written about in Isaiah , then would that have made him a false prophet ? Or does this just make him human ? Had he believed the lie , John would have doubted his own interpretation that he himself was " The voice crying out " . The enemy wants to put doubt in your life and in mine . Maybe you 've even had good people come against the promise that you so believed was from God . What if it were a family member or a spiritual father ? Let me tell you my brothers and sisters , even King Saul betrayed his son - in - law David ! People know that you are saved , but it doesn 't stop them from campaigning against you ! Let us learn from David and remain humble as he said , " Who am I , and what is my family or my clan in Israel , that I should become the king 's son - in - law ? " David later wrote in Psalms , " What is man that God is mindful of him ? " Moreover David would not lift a finger against the LORD ' S anointed - King Saul . This is not to say that David did not make mistakes , but DAVID HAD A REPENTANT HEART AND HE KEPT ON SERVING THE LORD . God is all - powerful and all in control . It 's time to turn back to our promises from the Lord , and pray harder than we ever have for our marriage , ministries , lost loved ones , or any other promise given from God . This week God has shown me something so profound that impacted my life , and I pray it impacts yours as well . In James 2 it says , " Faith without works is dead . " In the same manner , faith without patience is dead ! " Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess , for He who promised is faithful . " I 'll say it again , faith without patience is dead ! Hold fast to your faith in God ! The word " faith " can accurately be translated into " TRUST ! " Learn from David in his attitude as well as his plan to continue to pursue God , and his purpose in life . Surround yourself with others who will pray for you . I am here if anybody needs prayer , and I reply to all my emails . I plead to you that you 'll also pray for me . Prayer is priceless . For no money can buy such a precious thing that comes from the heart and touches God 's ! I thank God for each of your prayers ! God bless and have a wonderful week !
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One of my cousins and her fiance are visiting and decided to stay the night . Aimee and I took this opportunity to give them both the " Wise Older Cousin " talk in hopes that we could prompt them to dream about their future rather than settling for the present . Other than one cousin who has recently started dental training of some sort , all my cousins face similar careers as their parents . Unfortunately , there isn 't much of a career path when it comes to working in the woods , mills , pumping gas , bagging groceries or driving truck . I noticed this issue when I moved to So Cal as well , especially in the Hispanic community . It was almost normal to see young girls having babies and living with her parents until her own children were old enough to date . Young men usually looked for manual labor or entry level jobs without the dream of moving up . This was hard for me to understand since it seemed like there was a vocational school on every corner and college 's in every community with inexpensive Cali tuition . I soon realized this was because the younger generations didn 't have anyone to encourage them and tell them it 's possible to better yourself if you have want it bad enough . ( Or was it because it 's just easier and safer to just accept what you know ? ) I tried to explain to my cousin and her fiance that they should at least make a goal of having a better life than their parents . If they could just aim at improving their lives at least one notch up from the lives their parents live and encourage their children to do the same , we would all be so better off . I don 't know if they believe in themselves though . I really worry about our youth . This barn has housed many animals , including horses , calves and chickens . But for now , it 's used for hay and other miscellaneous items . The barn is also full of old vintage treasures dating as far back as the ' 50s . Manly stuff like tools , oil cans , horse harnesses , ropes , deer antlers , etc . A corral on the other side of the barn is still used but as you can see , the chute leading to it hasn 't been used in quite a while . One of the family 's in our neighborhood recently replaced their pick - up with what appears to be a Suburban that can 't keep out water . It 's currently covered with a giant sheet of plastic held down by cement breaks . This can be a problem , considering we live in Oregon where it rains . A lot . Of course they can 't put it under the carport because a pop - up camper is parked there . They also don 't seem to have a sense of right and wrong about the direction to park your vehicle . At least they seem to be nice , despite the several Confederate flags they use to decorate their home , cars and clothing . " NO ! " yelled Apollo forcefully . I laugh . " Since when have you controlled me and told me what I can and cannot do ? " Silence . " Since now , when I said no . " " BWAHAHAHHAA ! " This morning , " I 'm still thinking of getting my hair cut . " " OK . " A couple days ago we left for another visit with Mom . She 's constantly in need of help with chores around the house and since we 're both unemployed , we 're glad to help . Plus Apollo is glad to be doing something productive . ( He hasn 't caught the knitting fever . Something tells me he won 't be catching it any time soon . ) While there , Mom and Apollo started attacking the apple trees with fervor . Luckily I 'm too short and we had only one ladder , so I walked around and took pictures or " helped " by holding the ladder . ( It was a long hard day of labor for me ! ) I don 't know much about pruning trees but Grandma swears Mom is butchering them . Either way , her trees produce an abundance of apples each year , more than we can eat , preserve or give away . This is just one of the apple trees that has been on the property since the early 1900s . The driveway leading down between a cherry tree , an unseen stream ( Mom 's water source ) and a shed . Cattle responding to a dinner call in another field across the creek , which lies just on the other side of those bushes lining the field . The location to the right of this photo is exactly where I caught my two trout last year . The sky was a beautiful almost - clear blue but it was a chilly 40 degrees Fahrenheit outside . Peanut is slowly losing sight in his one good eye ( the other lost in a tragic No - That 's - My - Dead - Rat fight with Boo , a dog three times his size ) and his hearing is going as well . Sometimes I think it 's because he has so much fur he can 't tell where I 'm standing when I call his name . But in reality , he 's getting old . Poor little guy has seizures too . Here he is enjoying a fresh hair - cut around his good eye . I usually give him a cut once a month when I visit since Mom will let it grow out like that sheepdog on the Warner Brothers cartoons and we just can 't have that . Aimee and I were thinking he would look awesome with an eye - patch over his bad eye . While we 're at it , maybe some hearing aids too . I 'll have to work on that . I know it 's a bad photo but this is the best I could do at the time . Can anyone tell what kind of bird this is ? I thought it was a Western Meadowlark but the colors don 't quite match up . He 's showed up twice now on our back fence . We 're off to Mom 's . I 'm not sure what we 'll be doing today . Trimming apple tree 's , repairing plumbing problems and cutting wood are all possibilities . I 'm assuming there may be some drama related to her computer too because Mom has informed me she has Computer Rage and is shutting down her Internet access . When Mom told me she had Computer Rage I thought that was a clever term but she wasn 't quite in the mood for jokes . It 's hard for me to describe how I feel about today . I 'm overwhelmed with it all , really . I have much hope for our country but at the same time I 'm scared . Obama has been elevated to The Promised One status and I worry about our country 's expectations of him . Obviously , being President is not an easy job and he 's not going to be able to fix our problems over night or even in the next couple years . What happens when he fails ? And fail he will , he 's just a man . It 's not that I doubt him or that I want him to fail , I just have realistic expectations . Meanwhile , I 'm hopeful that he may influence the youth of today , in particular the African American youth . I 've spent a lot of time lately reflecting on the US history and the affects of slavery on our culture . You can see its negative affects on popular music , family structure , attitudes towards each other and more . It 's pretty damn sad and I wasn 't sure if we could ever dig ourselves out of it . Not until Obama was elected . I 'm hoping Obama 's election will help steer our country in a new direction regarding race relations and generally , in respect towards each other no matter which country we live in . Maybe this will help our youth to realize that yes , you can dream and it can come true . Watching Obama swear in , I was brought to tears . Tears for all those who have fought and died for this day . Tears of hope . Did you know Blu - ray players need a firmware upgrade after you purchase them ? It may take days to weeks for the " Upgrade Firmware " message to appear on your screen . Meanwhile , you 'll have viewed hours of video before you see the warning which seemingly has no reason for appearing . It seems there are two different ways to upgrade firmware : 1 ) download the firmware upgrade to your computer , burn the image to a CD or DVD ( this is important , there 's a difference between saving the file to your CD and burning the image to the CD ) and carefully following the very specific instructions to get your player to install the upgrade . Or 2 ) plug your Ethernet cable into the back of the player and allow the player to complete the upgrade . Mine doesn 't have the option to plug in an Ethernet cable so I 'm stuck with the CD . After talking to a few different people about firmware upgrades , including some who work in the industry , there seems to be a difference of opinion over whether or not every Blu - ray player will require a firmware upgrade . So you can 't exactly purchase one over the other in the hopes of avoiding this issue . Honestly , the concept of having to upgrade your firmware seems ridiculous to me . Has this technology been released before it 's actually ready ? It seems prudent to make this type of information readily available to consumers ( or to at least educate us since this is the new technology that is to replace DVD ) . After all , the boxes usually say something like , " Easy Set Up - Requires only an HDMI cable ( not included ) for the incredible images and quality High - Definition video . " It actually states an HDMI cable is needed and that it 's not included ! This is obviously important and I appreciate the warning . Why couldn 't it say anything about needing an Internet connection or include a quip about a required firmware upgrade ? I can understand if it 's necessary but damn ! Why the sneakiness ? Why the weeks of viewing enjoyment and then suddenly , it doesn 't work ? It 's bull crap if you ask me ! I feel bad for those who have purcPosted by Mom doesn 't chop down perfectly good trees to heat her home . Instead , after a good storm she spends hours driving mountain roads looking for fallen trees . After she finds a tree that has fallen near or over the road , she calls the Forest Service who in turn sends someone up to inspect and approve it . After approval and acquiring a wood permit ( $ 10 per cord ) , it 's time to cut and haul away as quickly as possible . You never know when some unscrupulous person may go steal your legally claimed wood before you can get to it . Mom was lucky enough to find a huge fir tree that fell across the road and up the mountain side . I noticed the tree trunk had sustained a significant bit of damage some time in the past decade and its death was inevitable . The tree trunk was located at least 25 feet down a steep canyon below the road and was so tall that it broke into at least four pieces across the road and mountain above the road . You can see here where the tree split down the middle and broke off . There 's no way we could get to it unless we have some logging equipment . Fortunately it will not go to waste as this 30 foot tall broken tree trunk ( snag ) will eventually dry up and provide food and shelter for insects , birds and small animals . Apollo and Critter ( yes , that 's what they call him ) watch carefully as Steve saws away at part of the tree up on the hill above us . Chunks of falling wood hit the log below until it was eventually dislodged and rolled down into the ditch . Poor Steve told us he can feel the vibration of the chainsaw in his hands for days after working with it . We ended up leaving a significant portion of the tree behind him since the labor needed to get to it was too great and not worth any risks . Critter climbs part way up the hill to take the chainsaw from Steve so he can descend safely . After working on the tree above , Steve started on the log that was left in the road . At this point we had already hauled away one truck and trailer full of rounds . The first day we went up to get the wood , we noticed it was very wet . Posted by We 're back from another long day hauling wood off a mountain . On our way back to Mom 's with a truck and trailer full of wood , we saw one bobcat , three different herd of elk , two red tail hawk and a beautiful sunset with the fog settling in . I wasn 't lucky enough to get any photos of the animals or at least not any that show more than a speck of color in the brush . After all our hard work , it was nice to stop and take in the scenery . I plan on returning for a trip through the mountains just for photo taking opportunities . Mike , you would die ! I didn 't think we would be so tired but we 're exhausted . Partially from our day but also from traveling back and forth these past two days . We finally found a route home from Mom 's that we like ( there 's several to choose from , some involving flat top without any paint ) . It 's only 67 miles each way and takes an hour and a half to drive . There is much debate within The Family over which route is the best but our favorite is the most traveled and is only four miles longer than the one The Family likes . Plus , I don 't have to worry about cars illegally parked partially on the highway when I drive around a narrow hair - pin corner opposite a log truck . Someone , and if you read my blog often enough you know which loon I 'm talking about , throws her rotten eggs at them . And yes , she actually saves her eggs by the bucket full just for this occasion . The bad route also includes mud , land and rock slides which may take out the road at any time . And then there 's innocent enough looking water which may result in water washing over your car obstructing your view for several seconds even with windshield wipers going at full blast . It turns out that slowing down to a seemingly reasonable 35 miles per hour is not actually reasonable at all . However , it did make my sister stop talking for several minutes . That , my friends , is an amazing feat . We 'll be trekking back to Mom 's next week . I don 't think chopping or hauling wood will be involved , maybe this time we 'll scoop some of the mud out of Mom 's Posted by Mom called me this morning and asked if we could come help load wood . It seems she found a fir windfall and was desperate to get to it before anyone else did . While she went to town to pick up the wood permit ( the Forest Service had already marked it for her ) , I took a walk in one of the fields down by the infamous orchard ( infamous due to it inhabiting bears that may or may not have been on a certain someone 's menu - wish - list ) . Yes , it appears grass is greener on the other side of the fence ! The old apple orchard is on the other side of the fence towards the middle left of the photo . I try not to venture in this area after dusk due to wild creatures . Actually . . . I don 't really go anywhere at Mom 's after dark due to all the coyote , cougar , skunk and bear problems . I already have irrational fears of the dark and I don 't need any real life situations to occur and make things worse . You see , I quickly jump on my bed every night because I can imagine a dried up brown , wrinkly hand reaching out from under the bed to grab my leg . I know it 's silly but I can 't help it , I start to get chills if I don 't hop in bed right away . So if I were to unexpectedly see a coyote at night ( you know , like if I wasn 't in a controlled situation such as in Mom 's car holding her rifle on my lap while she spotlighted the field looking for the coyotes howling over a new elk calf ) I may or may not have an anxiety attack . And that would hurt . During my walk I noticed several types of mushrooms growing in the field . There were at least three or four different types mixed in with the elk poop and grass . Ah , lovely elk poop ! It was only a couple days old , I checked it . ( And then there was that time I collected several elk poop samples in my pocket and took them to an Uncle to have him explain to me why some looked different than others . Hey , he was informative ! ) This mushroom reminded me of that time in high school when Faythe and I were sitting at a campfire , laughing hysterically ( OK there were thousands of times we laughed hysterically and mostly fPosted by I 've started something new - cupcakes ! You 're looking at the bottoms of four cupcakes with one of the main parts in the background . ( Is it me or do the cupcake bottoms look like nipple tassels ? ) I had forgotten how much I enjoyed knitting with Debbie Bliss 's Baby Cashmerino . After using sock yarn for so long , the cashmerino is a nice change . It 's so soft ! Hopefully I 'll have the cupcakes finished by the end of the week . The only thing thing that may hold me up is all the seaming . Other than that , it 's nice to knit something other than socks . I haven 't gotten as far as I 'd like on my mitten . At this rate , it 'll be too warm to wear them when I 'm finished . HAHAHHAAHA Who am I kidding ! It 'll never get warm , I have plenty of time ! I really love the idea of color work but since it 's so laborious ( for me as a newbie ) , I 'm having a hard time getting obsessed with it . But since I vowed to challenge myself with knitting this year , I 'll keep at it . I 've also already ordered more yarn for my next color work project . In other news , I planted garlic today . I know I 'm a month or two late but I should still get something from them come this fall . ( I had no idea you 're supposed to plant it in the fall . It turns out the garlic benefits greatly from the frost and other climate activity . ) What I 'm really worried about is the soil which doesn 't look like it has good drainage . To combat that potential issue , I planted the garlic seed in three raised beds about eight feet long . I 'm concerned about rot and the occasional grub I found in the soil while digging . This spring we 're hoping to plant tomatoes , onions , potatoes , herbs and squash . Until then , I need to dig out last years overgrown garden and prepare the soil . I can 't wait to reap our harvest ! Mom 's house sits in an area where pioneers built houses in the " olden days . " Consequently her property contains many old trees . There about five apple trees in her front yard ( the elk constantly raid them ) , probably another five in her driveway and an apple orchard down by the barn . Amongst the more unusual of her trees is a huge holly tree about fifteen feet from her front window . Though I 'm not a fan of its prickly leaf , it sure is beautiful in the snow . In the early morning hours before Mom 's paranoid guinea hen starts calling out warning cries or the dog starts barking hysterically at hawks hovering in the sky , the sun peers over the mountains chasing the fog off the fields . I love mornings in the country . Everything is fresh , cool and damp . Even in summer . The ground is blanketed with dew and soaks through shoes when walking through grass . In the winter , inhaling morning air is cleansing and refreshing . In the summer , it smells of grass , the creek and moss . Photos courtesy of Apollo . With our new home we inherited a rundown garden . We were surprised to see tomatoes , onions , strawberries , corn and more trying to hang on in the cold of November . It looked like the last owner , once she sold the house , let everything go . And go it did ! Tomatillo 's were running rampant in the garden , the yard and up on the fence . Tomatoes had escaped their cages and wandered aimlessly . Corn sat on the stalks , rotting away . After some rain pushed down weeds , we found waterlogged onions and squash oozing in random locations . Yesterday , my Grandma visited and helped me pull out all the corn stalks . We tried pulling them back in November but the earth was too dry and the corn wasn 't ready to let go . Thankfully , the rain has since loosened the soil and it was easy for us to yank them all up . It wasn 't until then that we were finally able to see all these gorgeous looking partially decomposed tomatillo husks laying on the ground . It 's amazing they 've held up this long through rain , snow , sleet , hail and frost . Their texture is beautiful and haunting . I couldn 't wait to take photos of them today between rain showers . If you 've met Zoe , you know what I mean when I say she 's a scaredy - cat . Sounds scare her . The scraping of a shoe makes her jump two feet . A loud burp , knock at the door , or someone coughing in the hallway is all scary enough to cause her to jump in the air , turn before touching the floor and run in the opposite direction . One of her nicknames is The Blur . Well , since we 've moved , Zoe has finally learned what it 's like to live in a quiet , peaceful house . She rarely jumps or hides now . Even when someone deliberately slides their foot across the floor when she 's walking by . ( I would never do that though . Not me ! ) She also greets perfect strangers and meows at them ( demanding a massage ) . I 've never seen Zoe sleep with her stomach exposed or legs stretched out like she is now . Yes , Zoe is loving life . I dunno , but I kind of like them ! Deliberately asymmetrical , they gave me a chance to work on changing color . They 're Aimee 's now , an appreciator of the funky . When we first moved here , the leaves were turning bright , beautiful colors . This is a leaf from a Maple tree / bush thing in our yard . It looks like a tree that someone tried to cut down that has since grown back in the form of a bush ( it still has remnants of a stump ) . I may be wrong , I don 't know anything about trees . I took this after our first snow fairly early in the morning before any cars had driven through it . I just love how snow blankets everything and peacefully muffles sound . I 'm hoping it snows more this winter . Poor Apollo , he isn 't very comfortable when I start asking him his opinion about yarn or knitting . ( Or anything potentially woman oriented . ) You 'd think I was asking him to make a life or death decision about which yarn to use for the toe of the sock I was trying to complete . Video footage available here . I 'm knitting some socks for my Aunt Lillian out of Colinette Jitterbug Moss but unfortunately have run out of yarn within a few inches of completing the second sock . After some surfing , I learned this is common with Jitterbug , the whole being a bit skimpy on the yardage issue . So I have three options here : 1 ) Buy a whole new hank of yarn to complete the second sock . 2 ) Rip out the toe on the first sock and hope it 's enough to complete the lace of the second sock , then use a different color to knit both toes . 3 ) Rip all the way back to the leg on both socks and shorten the leg , therefor guaranteeing I have enough yarn for the foot . I 'm just crazy enough to do this , too . Well , I don 't think I 'll buy any more , even though I love the yarn . Let the ripping commence !
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EmailPrintI am a graphic artist and the owner of a full service advertising agency . I have well over twenty years of experience in that field . That is a long time in a vastly changing field , and it has been difficult to impossible to keep up at times . I 've adopted several strategies to keep current . Usually I can just buy a new computer program , fiddle with it and learn how to use it well enough , but other times I have no idea what I am doing , even after messing with it a while . One great strategy I use when that happens is to sub myself out to other companies . By doing overflow work for artists in related , but non competitive businesses I can learn their techniques for doing certain things that I 'd be lost in otherwise . I can learn about the equipment and computer programs I need , and learn it on their equipment , while helping out . I get on the job training and pocket money , in exchange for helping them out when they are snowed under and have deadlines to meet . I 've learned a lot working for print shops , publishing companies , and T - shirt designers in my area . I also get referrals to my company from most of the businesses I have subbed out to . It 's a great way to network and help out fellow artists , publishers and printers . Another strategy I use is taking courses on different software at the local community college . I remember learning Page Maker and Microsoft Word back in the days of green screen . Community Colleges are a great way to stay current in your field , but I really had to beg to get them to allow me to register for Page Maker . It was a second year course in a curriculum , they were sure I 'd be lost , but I aced it . I had 7 years experience in paste up at the time . I was just learning to do with a computer , what I 'd been doing by hand for my entire career . I love my job , most of the time , but there is no typical day . Every day is different and new . That is one thing I love about this business , and at times it is the thing I hate most as well . It all depends on how the day goes . Over the years my business has evolved and changed . I 've always been the local go to gal " for all your advertising needs , " as my slogan goes . My career depends on my ability to adapt , and learn new skills . I started out selling business cards , and quickly expanded to stationary packages . I 'd design a logo , and put it on cards , letterhead , envelopes and personal sized stationary for local companies and non profits . I 've also done tons of flyer designs , and created promotional materials for numerous non - profit organizations . I expanded to sign painting and then architectural renderings for local architects . I 've done a lot of illustrations , including a contract for which I cataloged all the animals at a local drive through zoo . I started doing typesetting for publishers and finally went into publishing myself with a local " things to do " paper . I have clients , and I do whatever they ask me to . I get new clients who demand more skills and I pick them up . Almost everything I learned in college is completely out of date . Nothing in the publishing field is done the same way it was 30 years ago . Even advertising principles have changed . My field has changed , and I stay hard pressed to keep up with the new technology and the new philosophies and techniques of modern advertising . As a woman , when I was younger , it got pretty rough a few times . Selling business cards to used car salesmen was tough , and I had to flirt enough to sell without ending up " going for a ride in one of the new demo cars . " It was a tight rope , but I learned to handle that sort of thing as I got older . I 've had clients make moves on me , and had to turn them down without loosing work . It isn 't easy but it can usually be done . Making a good excuse such as " I 'm seeing someone " usually works . I learned to always tell them I was engaged , even if I wasn 't seeing anyone at the time . Now , since I am older and married , it isn 't an issue anymore . I took Latin in high school , and it has served me well . I can usually read in any Latin based language , at least well enough to glean the general idea . I 've never needed a foreign language directly for work though . The closest would be reading the directions on a set of French art pens . I can read in French , Italian , and Spanish at least to a degree , but I can 't understand those languages when they are spoken . If I had to rate my profession on a scale of one to ten , I 'd have to give it a 10 and a 1 . It 's all or nothing in this field . If I have work , and I know what I am doing that day , my work is a 10 plus . If no one has called , and I have to go out and beat the bushes to find work , then it 's still a 10 . If I call my regular clients , go out on cold calls , and come home without work , then it becomes a 1 . My business is both seasonal , and very sensitive to the economy . Needless to say things have been slow for a while , and I am using the time to become more tech savvy . Even in good times , the months between January and April are dead . I usually just hibernate , career wise . I plan my year so that I just budget to spend very little , and cut the business to bare bones in January and February . I start gearing up again in March . I think the toughest thing about my job is negotiation . I 've had to learn the hard way not to let clients barter me out of house and home . Collections can be tough after it becomes an issue , as well . One thing I have learned is to access the risk of getting stuck with the last job and having to eat it . If I sense they are going to leave me stuck , once they get what they want , I charge a 15 percent higher rate . I 've never been wrong on this instinct , but when it happens , I still walk away with enough to cover that last job . Most people will take about six or eight jobs before they leave you stuck . I always said that if I misjudged someone , I 'd make it up once they proved themselves with some free work , but I 've never had to do that . When it comes to striking a deal , I have learned that even though I try to fit any budget , if I get a client who makes money and still tries to get something for nothing the best thing to do is to stick to my price , and not compromise quality so they can save money . I had a nasty altercation with a woman who hired me to paint a $ 100 dollar sign for $ 40 . I let her take advantage of me really . Then she wouldn 't pay , and kicked the tires on my work . She was trying to get out for $ 20 . I still get angry when I think of it , but I did learn not to do business with people who think I should work for free . Now I stick to my rates . If they don 't like my rate I walk away . Going to college is just the beginning of a career . Every business does things a little differently . Office procedures vary from one company to another . Printers have different requirements for the format of artwork and type set . If artists and publishers cannot adapt to each and every circumstance or requirement they loose money . I 've gathered that most fields are the same way . When people get a job , they can 't expect the standard to be the same as what they turned in for school projects . I was always an artist . From the time I was twelve I was having shows , and selling my work , but I considered going into social work , or becoming a veterinarian as a career . I often wish I had become a veterinarian , because of the money . The pay has never been great . I 've gotten a lot of local attention and popularity , but popularity and a sense of accomplishment do not pay the bills . On bad days , I wish I was a veterinarian . On good days , I am very proud of what I do . Every day is a strange day when you are an artist . Our perceptions are different , and we tend to see even common objects in new ways , as if they were alien . It gets even stranger when uncommon things happen though . I remember once , I made a cold call to try to get work from a local architect . He was gruff with me , and I understood why . The artist who formerly did his architectural renderings had recently gone blind , and was dying . I hadn 't known that when I went to him , but I had felt led to visit him on that day . I was driving by and my inner voice had said , " Stop there ! " My inner voice is almost never wrong . I was saddened by his story , and when I saw this man 's work , I knew that my style was so different that this architect would never be satisfied . I am a photo realist , and his former artist was an impressionist . I 've never done impressionist work before , and it was mostly out of fashion at the time . I still made my pitch , but I didn 't stand a chance because of this old architect 's love for his previous artist 's impressionist work . I could not sell him on photo realism . He seemed irritated that I tried . There was no way I could do the kind of work this man wanted , even though I am versatile . The old guy was a master in his style . I had to bow my head in awe of his talent . There was so much emotion in his work , which screamed what my paintings could only whisper , because of the difference in style . The architect was in a very bad mood , feeling he would never find another artist like his friend the impressionist , and he was sad . I was sad to loose a great talent in the field as well . As I was leaving , the old architect called me back . He had a strange look on his face and his tone was almost robotic . His eyes looked strangely blank . He gave me the phone number and address of someone who needed my services . He even called ahead for me and set up an appointment for me to go over there immediately . From that I landed one of the biggest contracts of my career . I 've always been puzzled by that strange shift in his demeanor , and the fact that he helped me , even though he seemed irritated and angered by my mere existence moments before . That gruff old man truly did me a good turn , but it was very strange how he became so robotic in his voice and manner . It was if he were temporarily under the control of something other than himself . There are many things that make me happy about my job . The moment I get a new client order is thrilling , as is the moment I get paid , but the most thrilling moment is hard to describe . When I am working at my art table , and I suddenly realize that I am creating something I love , it is just an amazing experience . I have perhaps been in autopilot working on details and just doing what I have done so many times before , and suddenly I say , " Wow , look what I just did ! " Later when I turn it in to my client and he feels the same way , that 's just magic too . As an artist I want my own brand of chaos and my own work environment . I do not like to rush . I actually work faster when I do not rush . Still I have to go into other offices and work occasionally , and the one thing I cannot stand is someone standing over my shoulder wanting me to hurry up . The other thing I hate is being interrupted . For that reason I prefer my own office to going into other people 's zones . I especially dislike sharing workspace with people who move things when you walk away for a moment . In general though , I do enjoy working with fellow artists from time to time , and to have someone to chat with while I work . The best situations I have found are the ones where I can work at work , and then take stuff home to work on as well . As an artist , ad copy writer , and publisher , I have a terrible work balance . I am a natural sixty hour a week worker . I am easily obsessed with my work , and tend to become so absorbed that it 's hard to even say I am conscious , except in my own little world where I work . I have also been a home school mother , a wife , and the daughter of elderly parents , while trying to manage this all consuming career . I 've had to take time off completely before , and I 've had to cut back on hours as well at times , just to manage the rest of my life . It often seems that , other than the things I am passionate about , like my kids , my family , and my work , I am constantly putting out fires . I am terrible with book keeping and housework , and everything else that is boring . I have no self discipline when it comes to drudgery . It is hard to calculate how much money I make . It is for most self employed people . I try to keep my rates at about twice what I 'd make working for someone else doing the same job . This is because of all the time I spend cultivating clients , and looking for work . I generally try to make $ 20 to $ 30 an hour when I can find work . Sometimes I 'll work for less , if I am desperate , and it is something I want to do . Many times though in print or web publishing it is a gamble . You put up a site and hope to get advertisers . Things are slow this year and I 'll be lucky to get $ 20 , 000 over expenses . If I worked for someone else , I 'd probably get $ 35K if I could get such a job . From a monetary standpoint I should have been a veterinarian . All that was nothing though , compared to giving birth to my first publication . I was later stunned to hear that a prestigious four year college was using my little monthly newspaper to teach journalism . These students actually studied my writing style for weeks . I never took journalism , even at a community college , yet this professor with a PhD . thought my work was something these students should know . My paper was written in a tongue and cheek folksy style , which played up my being a local country gal , welcoming newcomers and visitors to our area . I saw people reading my paper , and that felt good . My advertising clients were also thrilled because their sales increased exponentially from my advertising . Often business doubled or tripled for them , and I was very happy about that . In my line of work , I 've done business with all sorts of people , from the most reputable and upstanding business people , and the millionaire philanthropists of our city to the absolute dredges . If their money is green , and they need artwork I take the job . Collections on some of those were somewhat challenging . I once did work , for a shady guy at my 15 percent increased rate . He was involved in some sort of organized gambling , but I have no idea of the details , nor did I want to know . Sure enough he left me stuck with $ 300 worth of work . I called to collect , and he informed me that he owed certain debts , and that the mafia had driven a truck through his home . He said , " Don 't you think if I had a dime , I 'd have already paid it to them . All I have is my soon to be dead body . " I verified by driving by , that a truck had indeed rammed his brick ranch style home , and that it was quite a mess . I wrote off the debt , and I 'd just as soon forget about it . The money was good while it lasted . While I didn 't anticipate his end to be so dramatic , I knew he 'd eventually leave me hooked , and had charged accordingly . I have a two year degree in advertising design . That was good enough when I was twenty , but today people need a masters to get anything out of life and they might as well go for their doctorate . If I had a bachelor 's degree I could teach art in a high school or community college , during hard times like this . More education might be nice , even for me , but my technical training is so out of date , I 'd have to start all over at age 50 . In order to truly succeed in my field , you need a lot more than an education , or even a good drawing hand , although that may be helpful . What you need is good business sense , and sales skills . If I were a bit more capable of conning people into paying me more than a living wage , I 'd be making a lot more money . I know some advertising agents make really good money . They know how to sell to the rich and powerful , and get them to spend a lot of money . I 've spent my career listening to people tell me I should help by trimming my price . Business can be better in large cities . Personally I found a ready market in our smaller city . The work was steady , considering the field I 'm in . I got more local recognition , but less money . Overall advertising agencies are lucky to survive the first year of business . In my case I hung on by keeping my overhead down , and cutting my rates when I had to . I do not recommend my field to anyone . If people are passionate , and this is truly what they want to do , then nothing anyone says will stop them . Encouraging someone who is not passionate , or who needs a lot of money isn 't fair . I can 't say it 's a good field . It is very unpredictable , subject to constant change , and the money is not really worth the effort required . Successful people in the field are constantly expanding their skill set , but unless they have the skills of a top salesman , a strong dose of street sense , mad tech skills , and also happen to be an extremely talented artist and writer . I don 't think they will make it big in the business . If you want money , be a doctor , don 't be an artist . There are times in this field when I could take a three or even six month vacation , and no one would notice . There are other times when I stay up all night for days on end meeting deadlines . You can 't take a vacation when you 've got clients to serve , unless you can get them caught up . I lost a client while my father was in intensive care , because after months of meetings , canceled meetings , keeping me waiting , and changing his mind on what he wanted , the client set a deadline , without previously informing me and wanted to meet with me immediately . He said he wanted the work in three days , completed and executed , and he 'd been yanking my chain for months . He was an awful jerk about it , and I sent him a bill for more than I 'd have charged him if he 'd taken the work . He said he 'd pay me for my time , and I charged him for every minute of it , even driving time to our many meetings . I 'd have cut him a deal ordinarily . As a result , the logo he is using looks like a first grader did it . Maybe he hired his kid . I know the artist was not a professional . I got nearly $ 800 , when I 'd have only asked $ 600 for a finished logo . Still I felt awful about it . From an artist 's standpoint , that was an utter failure , even though I got paid more . I get depressed every time I think of it . If I enjoyed winter holidays I could take them , right after Christmas until spring , without pay of course . With the economy like it is , I could probably take a vacation even in June , but I can 't afford it right now . The economy has put my career on the skids , and while it has improved a bit recently it isn 't good . Some people think that artists just paint or draw . Some do , but I find that painting and drawing doesn 't pay the bills . I have to write , paint , publish , and come up with all sorts of schemes , and advertising work . Marketing is a large part of it , and not just marketing your client 's work , but marketing yourself , always finding different angles , and different types of niches that you can fit into . This kind of work requires your whole heart , your whole mind , and at least half of your soul , every day , in order to make it work . It takes passion , and when your passion slips , you feel it immediately , right in the wallet . My five year plan is to finally figure out how to use the internet to broaden my work in a big way . I am struggling with that currently . I am currently looking for the right angle to use all my skills to make money on line . Local business is a thing of the past , at least for the most part . I have struggled to keep small business afloat for years , but I am not going down with the ship . The internet is a place where anyone can use their skills to get ahead , and my current research should help me put together a plan soon . I don 't have to draw anymore . Computer programs do that , and I am struggling with the feeling that I don 't really do anything in order to create artwork . I do of course . Adobe Photoshop , Paint Shop Pro , and Corel Draw don 't really just produce images by themselves , but it doesn 't feel like taking an art pen , or a brush full of ink and really drawing . Still , strangely I do not miss it . I have become more interested in copy writing , and selling over the years , because when it all comes down those are the skills that pay the bills . I can always produce art one way or another . That part is easy . Over the years my field has broadened . I am no longer just a graphic artist . I write , I sell ad space , I cook up schemes for business promotions , and I mostly just do whatever works to earn a dollar for my clients so they can pay me . I have an incredibly flexible mind , and that is the main tool I use to make a living . Design is a general term , but it means a lot to me in lots of ways . I don 't just do one type of design , I do more than that . I take what skills I have and apply them in different ways to lots of things . But I 'm not just describing myself , I am talking about all artists , we who show ourselves with everything we have . Whether it 's on a canvas , a piece of paper , or pure silence we all do that with paint brushes , pencils , charcoal , our voices , and so much more . I think being a graphic designer is great because you 're ideas and thoughts and creativity is not just put on the paper , it is exposed in so many different ways , it can be a message , a lesson , or end up on a company logo . It 's an amazing type of art and I appreciate it for what it can be . I am a painter , but I also have experience with Photoshop . I nearly accepted a job offer at my local newspaper as an advertisement artist . I am glad to see someone 's point of view as a graphic artist . 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Track Tuesdays are not pleasant . Right now , they rank as the most nerve - wracking experience in my average week . Which says a lot as both my job and Crossfit often throw some crazy stuff my way . Then again , an easy track workout isn 't really a track workout . And Track Tuesdays are as much about learning proper pacing and how to pace by feel as they are about going fast . Painfully fast . I run 800m repeats ( about half a mile ) with a friend . We have a time to hit each repeat in and we tend to - within 2 - 3 seconds on either end . If I were doing this alone , I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn 't finish . That my 800m would become 400m which just seems like a happier distance to me . It 's only the friendly peer pressure and competitive streak that propel me forward . - Weather . For some reason , Tuesdays are not a good day in Boston . Three weeks ago , it was pouring rain and 20 mph winds . Two weeks ago , it was so cold that I could barely move my fingers to start the stop watch for each repeat . Today it is raining and soon that will change to snow flurrying . But since I only run outside and have no idea the conditions for our December race , its probably good to be practicing in cold , snowy , windy weather . - Mid Week Evenings . Let 's be honest , Tuesday nights are not conducive to running fast . Any rest I gained over the weekend is usually spent up by Monday night . By Tuesday night , I 'm tired , the time change means its especially dark out , we are running during prime dinner time and the single abiding image in my head is " sweats and my couch . " - The Pain Cave . At some point in the run , it becomes less about a speed workout and more about survival . This typically happens after we 've run around the track once ( 400m ) and kicks into gear around 600m ( if I 'm lucky ) and lasts until the 750m - 800m sprint . The breakdown goes something like this : 0 - 400m . This is hard but manageable . Focus on breathing . Focus on a good turnover and a strong core . 1 / 4 done . Keep breathing , force yourself to slow it down . 1 / 2 way done . 400 - 600m . This is not fun . I can 't breathe , I kinda want to stop . No , I really want to stop . I wish I could stop . How much further do we have to go ? How can we still be this far away ? This is the worst 3 minutes of my life and we have to do it how many more times ? 600 - 700m . I stop thinking at this point . I 've entered the pain cave . My only thought is to somehow keep breathing and moving my legs until mercifully I cross the finish line and can resume normal griping . 700 - 800m . Glance at my watch . Crap ! We have to pick up the pace and sprint at the end to maintain our time . Maybe if I don 't look over at my running partner , she won 't realize and we can just keep up this horribly fast pace . Nope , she 's giving me the look , it 's time to push deep , lengthen the stride and get this over with . Followed by a 400m fast walk or slow jog to recover . Then we start the cycle all over again . Honestly , I know that my legs and lungs are capable of the pace when I am hydrated and healthy . But its the mental energy needed to finish strong that makes it incredibly hard . Our first week , there was a gorgeous double rainbow in the sky . I hoped it was God 's promise to me that I would never have to do another track workout . It wasn 't . Last week , I failed . I know , I know , I failed at something that I have set myself to do - its not like I 'm on a track team and these workouts really matter in the greater scheme . For me , they are a means to an end ( a faster half marathon ) . We did 5 800m and I only managed 3 of them . I did : 800m , 800m , 400m , 400m , 800m . Between an incredibly taxing weekend and a bad cold and cough , I reached the pain cave too soon , followed by the " I 'm starting to feel dizzy and seeing spots " lack of oxygen high , followed by the sweet release of stopping and violently coughing until I could breathe again . I had an excuse but it still grates on my nerves to fail at something . Particularly when my friend finished all her 800m repeats ( and the 2 without me were her fastest ones ! ) . The life of a runner involves lots of things that life teaches us whether we run or not : sometimes we will fail . We have to learn when to push harder and dig deeper and when to back off because our body can 't handle it . We have to learn to fail with dignity , and then get back up and try again later . We have to learn to cheer for others who are going faster and stronger than we can sustain and we have to do this without jealousy or envy . And we have to learn to not let our past failures keep us from future victory . With that in mind , I 'm drinking my water and nervously watching the sky , preparing for our latest track workout tonight . I 'm hopeful , scared but hopeful , that I can complete all six 800m repeats . Because my shower + my sweats + my sofa are so much more inviting after I succeed . October 6th dawned dark and gloomy . In fact , it really didn 't dawn at all . Or , if it did , I missed it because I was huddled in my brother - in - law 's car trying to stay warm and texting my Mom across the country to see if she would think any less of me if I ditched the race . But sometimes all the arguments of " I trained hard for this and put the miles in " fail you when you 're really cold and wet . And all you can think of is the sleep you are missing out of . Honestly , and this is horribly honest , probably the only reasons I actually ran were 1 ) I had a friend running her first half marathon and I wanted to not wimp out on being there and 2 ) I had a friend running the marathon that I could run with and misery loves company … even damp company and 3 ) carb loading . I had to justify the Flatbread Company pizza I ate the night before , right ? And 4 ) I 'm annoyingly stubborn . So there 's that . Fast forward 4 1 / 2 hours and I was back in the car … even more wet , even more cold , but with a marathon medal and a very empty stomach . Also a reflective piece of marathon foil ( which really does nothing when you 're soaking wet and there is no sun ) . I turned up the car heat to the highest it goes … and kept it like that for the 15 minute drive to my sister 's house . But I could also talk about the rest of it . Which was fun and rewarding and reminded me why I love running . And that part is all true , too . I ran with a good friend who also completed the same half Ironman that I did . But of course you can 't really hang out with someone during a triathlon ( that is , even if i could keep up with her in the water … which I clearly could not ) in the same way that you can during a marathon . I figured that worst case scenario was I quit the race at the half marathon cutoff . I 'm not sure why I was so adverse to running alone … since I like running alone . Maybe I remembered how long 26 . 2 miles can seem when you run without any musical distraction and much as I love New Hampshire , I recognize that Hampton Beach isn 't a particularly scenic marathon route . 20 of the miles are run around cul - de - sac neighborhoods . So we started together . And we finished together . And I felt like we had been running for 2 hours when we finished but not more than double that . I felt good - injury free , happy lungs , cold enough to leave my arm warmers on for most of the race but not uncomfortably cold other than miles 11 - 13 when the wind and the rain picked up and we were running along the ocean and my hands wouldn 't bend . We thanked all the race volunteers with words and smiles both . We ran up the one beastly hill twice ( even faster the second time around - which impressed the volunteers ) . I fueled properly and laughed and we entertained the other racers around us . Here 's what I didn 't do - I didn 't PR . There came a moment where I could choose to try for a PR or I could continue to hang out with my friend and push her to a PR . I chose the latter . And no , it wasn 't all selflessness . I am a pretty good person but a lot of factors went into not making this an A race . Maybe I could have PRed , maybe I couldn 't . I 'll never know . It was a flat race but conditions weren 't perfect . I PRed at my 5k and half marathon distance this summer so maybe I was ready to run faster … or maybe I was overtrained and tired . I could come up with lots of excuses for not PRing and lots of reasons why I would have succeeded . But , I honestly don 't care in the least . After the other races this summer , I was grateful to be outside and running , with a friend , without any discomfort ( other than the knowledge that I had run too much in my shoes and needed to ) and without any time pressure . There will be more marathons in my future . There will be a race time PR . I referred to myself as the " uninvited pacer " as I basically chatted my friend to the finish line . I 'm pretty sure she was running faster than her normal pace not only because she 's in better shape than she thinks and because sometimes you need a slightly faster runner to push you out of your comfort zone but also because she wanted a break from my incessant chatter . I mean , I don 't listen to music on marathons so I come across as that person who wants to commune with nature and hear each painful footfall and heavy breathing and really live in the moment . And then I become the person who talks and talks and talks and comes up for air only to ask about our pace and time ( God forbid I wear a watch ) and to realize I 've missed 4 mile markers and we 're much further along than I thought . I ran my other marathons alone ( except for the partial marathon I ran with a friend where my entire role was to distract her and pretend that my IT band hadn 't allowed me to only run 2 miles and now I was attempting to run 10 times that … ) I guess I treated this marathon more like a long training run . Maybe I should have capitalized on that and done another marathon or ultramarathon shortly after . Or maybe I just needed to lie to myself " this is not a marathon , this is just a friendly training run and you can stop whenever you want and go home . " Lies , all lies . I was no less proud of this race , my Personal Slowest , than I have been of any other marathon . Since I 'm not a competitive racer , although I can be a competitive runner sometimes , I think that makes sense . What 's the point of growing older and wiser if that doesn 't include learning to cut ourselves some slack , to enjoy the memories , to relish the 25 minute hot water shower we take afterwards ( sorry about your hot water bill , Debs ! ) regardless of what goals we met or did not meet . I started , I ran , I finished . In a respectable amount of time . I smiled , I thanked people , I laughed at myself , I didn 't throw up any Gu , my friend 's husband was waiting at the finish to cheer us for those last pesky yards … then I went home to a hot shower ( sorry again ) and an afternoon of puzzles and football and Indian food in the crockpot … because the best part of visiting family is that you are separated from your to do list and can do nothing but relax in your sweats ( especially after a marathon ) . What more could one ask for ? Catching the bus at Gunstock and taking it down to Ellacoya State Park was a breeze . Not only that , but we pulled into the parking lot fairly early , and as we parked , another car pulled in next to us . I looked over and realized it was my training partner A and her husband . How fun is that ? Of the hundreds of triathletes , I got to park next to the one person I knew well and sit with her on the bus ride . Misery loves company … so do nervous triathletes pre - race . We had plenty of transition time … well over an hour before we were supposed to exit the transition area . Unfortunately , it ended up not being nearly enough time for me . First , I had to deal with the girl next to me who said " Do you have to put your stuff there ? " as if I had any other choice than using the few inches allotted to me under my bike . I hate to call people names but if you 're thinking of one right now that starts with " B " that was her . She actually went and got race volunteers to come and yell at the girl on the other side of her because her bike was not exactly in the middle of the race sticker where it belonged . The guys on the other side of me were much nicer , although I did wonder if I was in the wrong place when I realized I was mostly in the " guys " transition area . Then I realized we were lined up by age group and being a Z , I was the last girl in my age group before the guys in my age group . They were helpful with figuring out the route from the swim to our bikes and from the bike racks to the run . Second , I laid out my biking and running gear and then headed to the portapotty line with A . We had 40 minutes left to setup our transition time . After we had reached the front of our line and done our business , we had 3 minutes left . Really , that was not cool . Even after we picked a line that mainly had men in it . Next year , I plan on setting up transition with everything I need , handing my wetsuit and swim gear to my family , and then waiting in the dreaded line . When you don 't start swimming until 7 : 29 but have to exit the transition area at 6 : 45 , it doesn 't make sense to waste transition time in a long bathroom line . A and I met up with my parents and my Dad dropped off my Morning Bag to the tent where they were keeping them after I downed some pre - race fuel . Then we waded thru some freezing cold water to line up with our Swim group ( # 9 out of 20 ) . At this point , I realized I was wearing my Nike FuelBand … which isn 't waterproof . Ugh . So I waded back thru the freezing water to find my parents ( and failed ) . With timing running out . I went to the Morning Bag drop and tried to find my bag ( and failed ) . They were all organized numerically … . except for mine . I ended up taking my fuelband off , telling my race number to the teenage girl working there , and asking her to find my bag and put it in there . I figured my odds were : 10 % of finishing the race and seeing my fuelband again versus 100 % chance of it being destroyed during a 1 . 2 mile swim . Then I waded thru the freezing water again . The only good part about this unexpected interruption was that I had less time to stand around on the beach getting nervous about the swim . I am way too short and muscular to be a good swimmer . Fact . The very things that make me able to bench press more than my body weight and power thru Crossfit workouts are the very things that make me inelegant in the water . Not to mention that swimming straight , not hyperventilating when people swim on top of me , and remembering to breathe are not skills of mine . We headed into the water , I had about 60 seconds in which to panic and decide that it would be less embarrassing to quit now than drown , and then we were off . And … it was awful . I would say that the first 5 - 10 minutes of the swim were the worst part of my entire race . People kicking me , hitting me , swimming over me , not to mention choppy water and my whole " 10 strokes and then sight one of the buoys " turned out to not be enough to keep me swimming straight . We swam straight out … and out … and out . I made a game of counting the buoys ( I pretended there were 20 even though there actually ended up only being 15 ) and telling myself to stay calm and slow and steady . We had a short swim out , a long swim parallel to shore ( which was very far away ) , and then a short swim back to shore . The middle section was actually the easiest for me . I caught up to a number of swimmers from the group before us and that felt good . I only panicked and thought " I 'm the last swimmer in my age group ! " once every 15 seconds . The last part of the swim , even though I knew I was swimming to shore , was the worst . My wetsuit zipper was pushing on the most painful part of my aching neck and I felt like passing out a few times . It made moving my head very difficult and I knew the shooting pain wasn 't a good sign . I also started getting passed by all the swimmers who started after us . And they were ruthless . A bunch of them grabbed me as they passed by and literally pushed me away . This does not happen on the bike … this does not happen on the run . No wonder I hate the swim so much . The wetsuit strippers were easily my favorite part . They were yelling " get it down over your hips " as I approached but one of the guys sized me up ( being petite has some perks ) and told me to get down and ripped off the suit in one smooth move , grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up ( I think I weighed less than he thought as I went flying about 7 inches off the ground before I landed ) , threw the wetsuit in my arm and pushed me to the transition area . Either I lucked out with the wetsuit stripping champion or he saw my swim cap , realized I was the last one in my age group and wanted to help me shave a few seconds off . Not only had I forgotten to take my FuelBand off during the transition setup , but I had forgotten to put a sports bra on under my tri suit . Tri suits are made for skinny women with no curves . The short run up the beach had proved to me that the tri suit alone was not supportive enough for my run . But I figured it would be fine for biking and I would deal with it later … 56 miles on a bike is plenty of time to make a plan . Between mile 1 and 2 , while climbing uphill , I saw a horrific sight - two guys bloody and unconscious at the side of the road . Medical personnel was shooing us over , away from the shoulder , and I instinctively knew that the accident had not just happened so the fact that the guys were still unconscious was probably not a good sign . Regardless of that , I managed to not get nervous about bike accidents . And having previewed the course was very helpful as I knew when to prepare for the badass hills , when to prepare for some nice descents , when to fuel . I got passed . A lot . But I also exchanged pleasantries with a number of cyclists and the weather was ideal . I reached the 30 mile mark having averaged over 17 mph which is not good for a professional but is very good for me . Sadly , the last 26 miles were brutal : the worst hills , wind against me , bathroom stop mid - hill at the first unoccupied portapotty I saw . There wasn 't much time to think on the bike , I told someone recently . Really ? 3 and a half hours wasn 't enough time . But its hard to explain … I was thinking … about hills and fuel and how I was going faster than I expected and how I couldn 't turn my neck and guessing what the tattoos on the guy in front of me stood for … and how I went 45 miles needing the bathroom before I stopped … and how after seeing the 7th cyclist repairing a wheel I began praying that my bike would make it without any repairs … and how I only stopped at the first ( of 4 ) fuels stations and how the women were pretty timid on the descents but I slammed down the final downhill at 47 mph and the guy who came after me pulled up alongside with a huge grin on his face and said " That was the best part of today - that was incredible " and I felt the same . I get a feeling of sheer terror biking that fast but I also feel incredibly energized and alive doing terrifying things like that . I owned the last 5 miles of uphill . Not sure why but my fuel stores were starting to kick in and I passed 27 people , mostly guys , in the last 5 miles . The harder the uphill got , the faster I pedaled . I was in the homestretch and although slow , I was going to finish without any walking or even standing up in my saddle . Thanks to the neck pain , I hadn 't even had time to worry about my hands going numb ( happens if I don 't switch position often enough ) or my groin hurting ( always in tri shorts ) or how everyone else had fancy aero bars . I saw A up ahead , finishing the " no pass zone " on the bike and speeding back into transition . She had predicted that I would " pass her at the end of the bike leg " but she was wrong . I was mostly happy that we had both finished without accidents and well within the time frame we had expected . Honestly , it was a slow bike ride but I am a slow biker . I biked faster than expected , was able to hold down more fuel than I had hoped for , and finished in good spirits . I was 95th out of 104 in my age group but I knew my secret weapon was next - I can run . Having run all of my marathons without headphones , I was prepared for this . What I was not prepared for was having age stations every 3 / 4 mile apart ( lots of fun to look at but also disconcerting when you prefer them spaced every 1 - 2 miles apart ) and the fact that my legs didn 't feel bad at all ( I should have biked faster ) . I had A and two coworkers S and P to look for and cheer on and that motivated me . Not to mention I had downed some caffeinated Gu towards the end of my bike and I never drink caffeine … which means I was high on energy . My goal was to enjoy the first 6 . 6 loop and slog thru the second one . I ran the first loop so fast that I don 't remember enjoying it but I also don 't remember hating it either . It just was . And there was Andy Potts , the winner , cheering us on as we started our second loop . The second loop was slower . My hips hurt and my IT band started aching and I needed a bathroom stop . But it was also a fun run . There were so many spectators lining the course … the aid stations were a nice distraction … I had people to search for … I had lots of fun chats with people on their first leg of the run and I was excited to get to the Finisher : This Way sign at the end . Without my watch , I hadn 't a clue what time it was so I kept asking people , then attempting to do math in my head , then realizing I was running really fast and that spurred me on to move faster . My finish time was 1 : 44 , putting me 8th in my age group ! Funny to compare this with a half marathon - where everyone gets cheered on for the last mile or so . In this race , having already been competing for many hours , we needed cheers for every mile of the race . The atmosphere was festive , very festive . As if the run was just icing on the cake , the race was already over . I 'm not super into finishing times and competing against others . I compete against myself , often against courses and weather and pain and other things that could slow me down . But I post these results just to prove that people can finish and finish happy regardless of their placing , regardless of how much body fat they have , regardless of whether they have aero bars and expensive clothing and sponsors . Not everyone loves race recaps . I completely understand that . So here is the short version for those who wish they cared but truly don 't : There were some obstacles and issues that I encountered but I finished . Shortly afterwards ( 2 days later ) I learned that I was DQed - disqualified - due to a timing chip issue which meant some of my race splits weren 't recorded and some were recorded at places other than the timing mat . Not sure how that happened . My results are now blanked out on the Timberman website but can still be seen at Athlinks and other race - result websites . Although the DQ was a disappointment and very frustrating , it was also completely out of my control , so I 'm taking everyone 's advice to heart ( that I know and my friends and family know that I finished ) and not worrying about the officially - scary - looking DQ next to my name . Preparation could have gone better for this race , I won 't lie . And that 's not an excuse . After my PR in July at the Old Port Half Marathon and my sprint triathlon 5K run PR a week later , I suddenly lost all desire to run . Add that to my lack of motivation to swim for the entire month of July ( when you are on a jury trial far away from your swimming pool , and you 're not the most keen swimmer to begin with , that happens ) and my frustration at how slowly I bike , and it wasn 't the greatest training season ever . Also , I was starting to set PRs at Crossfit in my 1 rep maxes and I was finding it fun - so fun that it was hard to focus on the cardio required for this triathlon . Also , and maybe this was just my issue because I followed a very bare bones training plan , I succumbed to a lot of stressful guilt about training . It 's hard enough to juggle work , exercise , social life , sleep , chores , etc . Now I found myself juggling swimming , running and biking . I had a really good week swimming and biking , felt guilty about my less than stellar running . Next week , I had a great swimming and running week , felt guilty about my lack of biking . And so on . Ironic that those of us who exercise don 't sit around feeling guilty about not exercising but we can still fall into a trap of guilt over not doing enough exercise . Enter : Random encounter at the gym with a girl wearing a triathlon t - shirt . We start talking and realize we are both doing Timberman , both about the same biking speed , and we both have some long bike rides ahead of us . It was one of the best random encounters I 've had . Having a training partner made all the difference . We rode 50 miles around Arlington and Concord one week , we biked 40 + miles of the Timberman course the next week , we got in a nice swim at Walden Pond + biking brick during our taper . I would not have entered the Timberman as prepared if it were not for her . Best summer surprise . This went surprisingly well . I didn 't experience any of the anxiety and stress and nervous energy that I usually do . That might be because I was busy in a 4 1 / 2 hour job interview and working on my handstand push - ups and preparing for my busy season at work and trying to figure out how to pack for 4 days camping and a half Ironman . Thursday night , I got to my parents house after a fun date with my Dad and some car trouble , went to bed , woke up unable to move my neck . Shooting pain in my upper back , shoulders and neck . No idea where it came from although I had spent a significant number of hours holding heavy babies on Tues , Wed , and Thur . And I spent a month sitting in an uncomfortable jury chair . And my sports masseuse is convinced that the stress of the summer finally caught up to me during the taper ( which doesn 't entirely surprise me - you are most susceptible to colds and other illness during the taper weeks - and it is often when I go home to NH that my body relaxes and gets sick ) . But I muscled through it with some pain reliever . Spent part of Friday testing out my wet suit at a friend 's lake and playing with her kids . I was shocked that I actually liked the wet suit . The one I had tested before was more expensive , rated better , and I hated it . Hated it . Felt so confined in it that I was ready to DNS ( Did Not Start ) the triathlon solely because of the wet suit . This one I like . It 's about as flattering as a wetsuit can be , it fits perfectly without being too tight or too loose and I don 't even notice it once I 'm swimming . There were two fun parts of packet pickup : being with my Mom and meeting up with my friend A and finally meeting her husband . The packet pickup went smoothly , dropping off my bike was easy and a little scary ( this is really happening … ) and the race info session was helpful . There were a few not so fun parts of packet pickup : like how incredibly fit and lean and intimidating everyone looked . I knew going into this that I would not do well in the swim and the bike . I had read the race results from the previous years and knew that this was not an " average person " event but the cream of the crop of triathlon racing . That didn 't discourage me so much as prepare me for the inevitable - being passed a lot on the bike . I had no idea how I would fare on the run because I hadn 't been running a lot ( other than weekend long runs and a lot of short sprints at Crossfit ) and I certainly hadn 't been doing many bricks ( I think I followed up a bike ride with a run once … or maybe twice ) . My philosophy was : don 't drown , don 't bonk on the biking , you can muscle thru the run . Forcing myself to eat extra carbs - unsalted pretzels and hummus with an unhealthy dose of Goldfish crackers thrown in - and extra liquid - Powerade Zero wasn 't as awful as it has been in the past . I typically get excited at the thought of eating extra carbs and lounging around … . then the days before the race , I lose all my appetite and force myself to eat delicious things without even tasting them . This happens after the race , too . Beforehand , I think " I can eat whatever I want after the race ! " and spend many long runs imagining what I will indulge in . Then , after the race , I lose my appetite and think " You have to make yourself eat " and I can 't . Informing my parents of our 4 : 30 AM departure time wasn 't fun , either . Because nothing screams self - centeredness like " Want to come spend 8 + hours in the sun in a crowded venue cheering for me ? " with the added incentive of " And we need to leave by 4 : 30 AM ? " I console myself at times like this with two thoughts : 1 ) my parents didn 't have to to do a lot of cheering for me in my childhood and no one is forcing them to now and 2 ) I will probably be blessed / cursed with children that expect the same out of me . Possibly even a husband who races . Karma and all that . I slept about 3 hours before the race which is normal for me . What isn 't normal is that I also slept 2 - 3 hours ( because of my neck ) on Thursday and Friday nights . I yawned the entire drive up to Gunstock on Sunday morning . That may or may not have been an omen that this race wasn 't going to go as planned … thank goodness I hadn 't spent a lot of time making plans ! The sprint was long on the swim and a little short on the bike : 0 . 5 mile swim , 12 mile bike , 3 . 1 mile run . I had to get up at 3 : 30 AM to head out for the drive to Webster , MA . It was gorgeous watching the sun rise and I had plenty of time to set up my transition area and eat breakfast . The water was bathwater warm ( nearly 80 degrees ) and we all splashed around / waded in for the half hour beforehand . I talked to a few other women and began to feel calmer . I 'm not fast , I knew I wasn 't going to place , so at a certain point you realize there 's no reason to be nervous . Try to have fun . It was fun to cheer each age group as they set off on the swim . Each age group has a different colored swim cap so it was cool to see the different sections of color bobbing up and down in the water , swimming around the course . My swim was rough but I didn 't get plowed over or kicked in the face so my goal was accomplished . I finished knowing that I can do the 1 . 2 mile swim in my half Ironman , even if I 'm terribly slow . I probably swam a lot further than 0 . 5 miles because I had a hard time swimming straight . I didn 't look up often enough , scout the various buoys , and swim straight towards them . Lesson learned . At one point , I felt pretty discouraged , that I was the last one in my group to finish . A lot of " orange caps " ( girls 1 - 5 years younger than me ) caught up and were passing quickly . At the same time , I was rapidly passing older women towards the end of my swim . In retrospect , I was probably smack between the fast swimmers and the slow swimmers in the light blue swim cap section which is why I didn 't see any other light blue swim caps ( I really had myself convinced that I was last ) . This didn 't go too badly . It was a long transition but it was a long run up the beach , jumping into a kiddie pool for a second to wash the mud and sand off . Didn 't dry my feet off , just threw on my bike socks and shoes , grabbed my bike helmet , and started running with my bike to the bike route . A traffic jam at the place where you can get on your bike slowed me down a bit but then we were off . I am not a fast biker . Not at all . This was actually a decent speed for me . Could I have raced faster ? Yes . But I was pretty happy with my pace considering I have a hard time eating / drinking on the bike . I didn 't really see any others in my age group but I must have passed some since I moved from 36th place to 26th during the biking . I think my one strength was that I biked the hills - including the 3 mile one that just kept going up , turning a corner , going up again . I 'd say 85 % were walking their bike within a mile but I kept plugging away . It felt good to be passing so many people . According to the results , I passed at least 70 people during this ride and that sounds about right ( and yes , there were plenty of people who sped past me ) . The route was pretty . I liked seeing the lake for a lot of the time . There were no points where I worried about running into another biker , getting lost , not following the regulations on passing . The last couple of miles were fun but a little scary as there were runners running out on the course and runners running back along the course to avoid . I was the only one who didn 't know to buy a race belt with my race bib attached to it . So while others grabbed their race bib , changed their shoes , and ran , I had to pull off my tri top , throw on a singlet ( with the race bib already attached ) and change my shoes . It took me a long time . Lesson learned . Buy a race belt . I felt so sluggish , as you do after biking . It was hard to run , hard to settle into a rhythm . But fun to see the runners finishing and the bikers biking . The first 1 / 4 mile was on a trail and of course I tripped over a root and nearly sprained my ankle but I jumped up and kept running . I don 't know what happened . I guess I was excited to be done soon and enjoyed seeing everyone else running . Because I PRed . I PRed on my run after swimming and biking . It 's enough to make me scratch my head and wonder why I never run this fast on a 5K . I think the answer is that I don 't warm up . I don 't run a few miles to prepare myself ( because I think it will make me tired ) . I 'm guessing the biking warmed up my body and I was ready to sprint . 2nd place in my age group is incredible . But 10th out of 632 runners ? That might be the best I ever do in a race . I should probably tattoo this on my skin . I thought " Wow ! Too bad this race doesn 't care much about just the run , I won 't win a prize for coming in 2nd on the run . " Duh . That 's the point of a triathlon . You have to do well in all 3 events . I need to learn to swim . Don 't worry , I 've come down from my runner 's high and am prepared and sobered for this weekend where I will finish in the bottom 10 % . I will be racing the cutoff rather than any other triathletes . And that 's not me being humble and polite , that 's the truth . Out of 100 + runners in my age group last year , I have a prayer of beating 7 of them . My body shape isn 't built for swim speed or running speed and I haven 't put in the training time to bike fast . When I finish , I will just care that I finished . And I will look down at my " 10 out of 632 " tattoo ( just kidding ) and be proud of July - my PR month . You can 't PR every race . But you can finish happy . I know , I know , a New England half marathon in July . What a foolish notion . But having lived in Portland , Maine for two years , I was confident that it would be cool and there would be a nice ocean breeze . Wrong on both counts . I don 't ever remember it getting unbearably hot in the summer but it only took a mile of running for me to be sweating like crazy . There was no shade . And there was no wind . Well , there was about a mile worth of a breeze but it didn 't cool me down , only made me gag on its fishy essence . And there were 3 underpasses we ran under , maybe for 3 - 5 seconds each that were shaded ? And we got to run past the Portland Sewage Plant twice . Because there is nothing prettier at mile 8ish and again at 11ish than to see hundreds of gallons of churning poop . Had anyone been able to keep Gu down at that point , it would all have come back up . I may sound a bit bitter about this race but actually , I 'm not . I PRed on a hot windless extremely hilly race ( do not trust the race reports , this is not flat ) where the winner of both the half marathon and the 5k were 5 - 10 minutes off their target pace . I repeat : the winners struggled with the heat and the hills and ran slower than expected . I ran a lot faster than expected . What 's not to love about that ? I loved the local feeling and seeing people I knew . I loved knowing my Dad and brother in law were running the 5k ( both finished 5th in their age groups ! ) but sad that I never got to see them run . I was happy that I finished fast and strong but sad that my family wasn 't at the finish line yet ( because I was about 15 minutes faster than expected ) . The finish line food was the best I 've ever seen but I could only chew on a frozen Greek yogurt popsicle and guzzle water . I 'm not sure why I ran so fast . And by " so fast " I mean , fast for me . It might have been all the Crossfit training I 've been doing . The hill runs and the stadium step workouts . The fact that I 've been running less but running with a purpose . It could have been that I was so miserable and wanted the race to finish sooner . I was looking forward to celebrating my sister 's birthday and seeing my cousins once it was done . I was also relieved to be outside after my first long week of jury duty . Maybe freedom had something to do with it . In case I never run this fast again , I 'm going to enjoy how good it felt to finish at the front of the pack . Not to mention , despite the weather conditions and the sewage plant and the baked bean plant and the other little things I don 't miss about Portland , I did love to be back in the place I once called home . I 'm happier in Boston , much happier . I wish the girl in Portland could have known how much better her job / life / friendships / racing would be in the future . But I 'm proud of Portland for being the first place I fell in love with long distance running and triathlons … the place I could always run along the ocean when I needed to chill out and be alone … the place that challenged me in ways I didn 't want to be challenged but am now grateful for in retrospect . " So , " he 'd say , leaning casually against the door frame , " how does this half Ironman thing work ? Are you Iron or man after you finish it ? Or half iron and half man on half your body ? " It was his never - ending tease , the boy who loved to do full Ironmans . I swim my laps , 1 . 2 miles of them , and concentrate on a different aspect of the stroke each time . I laugh to recall the only time I beat him in a training swim - pulling myself up on the edge afterwards , drinking water and basking in my apparent speed while he finished his laps … only to watch him stagger out of the pool and vomit in the trash can when he finished . I can win things … when all of my opponents have the flu ! I remember him while cruising up and down NH roads on my bike - each uphill producing a downhill , or another uphill , never anything straight and flat . He would have loved this . In fact , he did love this . I recall now his stories of when we lived in Portland , Maine and the biking he did there . I regret not having a racing bike then … not joining in on these roller coaster rides . And he 'd talk me off the ledge when I start getting frustrated about Crossfit . 3 months in and I still cannot do hand stand pushups or good double - unders or walk on my hands or do 5 strict pull - ups or muscle - ups or lift the prescribed weights during the Olympic lifts . When I read an article that stated that " your first 2 years at Crossfit , you should expect to PR every single day " and I realized that I 'm not sure I PR at something even once a week , he would have reasoned with me : maybe the article is referring to individuals who come in with no athletic background ? Either way , he would have told me I 'm being silly . To keep doing my best and things will fall into place . Anything worth conquering takes longer than 3 months to conquer … When I rub against my side , and remember the stitches that were there , nearly a year ago , this he would have loved the best : his best friend suturing me up on the side of a road race without any pain meds just so I could finish a half marathon . And then immediately biking from Providence to the Cape … where I was forced into the ocean water to clean my wound and freeze my sore bones . And me , after running + biking nearly 100 miles , asking " Do you guys think I could have some ibuprofen now ? " He would have retold that story over and over again sometimes making me look heroic , other times foolish . And he would have cried with me about the Boston Marathon . About how I finally read some articles about it in my running magazine and found myself choking up … in the jury herding pen … particularly when other runner authors voiced my same feelings : if you wanted to bomb a race , couldn 't you at least have gone after the runners ? Not innocent bystanders cheering us on ? I can 't think about that day without remembering watching Henry V as a child … and then reading it as a teenager … when the French sneak behind English lines and kill all the innocent page boys , waiting with the baggage in the English camp . There is bad and wrong and evil but then there is also vile and despicable and cowardly . I 'm certainly not half - man . And I don 't feel half - Iron , either . I feel very painfully human and not just when I 'm biking uphill and my legs scream to stop . But since an IronMan can 't possibly experience pain and sadness and grief , or hope and joy and satisfaction , quite like a frail human can , today I 'm glad to just be me . Get paid to be healthy ! Join Achievemint , connect apps , start earning . Use this link and we both get 250 points tinyurl . com / y97agnwu 3 days ago
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7 Comments » Well , its eventually arrived . Today is the day our babies should have been born according to the due date calculators and my FS . I have been dreading this day for over a month now , and yes , I am sad , but I think I 'm holding up better than I thought I would . On the one side I just want to get it over with so that I can hopefully go on with my life , but somehow I don 't think the sadness will be just gone by tomorrow . On a different note : Its International Blog Delurking week . I know I have a lot more readers than those that comment often - I can see it on my stats , but I don 't know who you are ! I would love to get to know you all , so I 'm asking that you comment and tell us a little about yourself ! 1 Comment » Last year was rough . One of the toughest ever , but I think also one of the most memorable . So much happened and although I felt at times that I would not survive it , I did ! I don 't want to complain in this post , because you all know by know what my hardships were . Instead I want to marvel at God - how absolutely awsome He is and what He did for us . When I think back to the beginning of the year I couldn 't wait to get my hysteroscopy over and done with , to remove the polyp and get going with my FET . The operation was really easy and I healed well . I had read up a lot about intralipids and I just had this feeling that the intralipids was what I needed to get pregnant and even though my FS did not believe it would work I was able to convince him that it could not hurt to try it . In February we went ahead with a natural FET - no medication before hand as the FS explained to me that high levels of oestrogen was causing the polyps . I had a perfect follicle and lining and I was triggered when the follicle was big enough . I had 9 embryo 's left from my previous IVF . With my previous IVF they transferred three 8 cell embryo 's on day 3 and the rest were all frozen . There were 2 more 8 cell embryo 's frozen , some 6 cells , some 4 cells and even a 2 cell . I knew not all were good enough , but I had hoped that I would at least be able to do 2 FET 's . On ET day I was told only 2 survived the thaw out of the 9 . Those 2 were only 3 cells each and bad quality - the worst quality they rate at my clinic . So it was no surprise that even though I had the intralipids for the first time I didn 't get pregnant . Intralipids cannot fix bad quality embryo 's . It was still a shock and a big disappointment to me to get the news of a BFN only a few days before my birthday . The interesting thing was that this time my beta was 2 . Previously I always got a beta of < 5 on the report . I don 't know whether it meant something or not , it was still a BFN , but it was certainly the first time that I knew some HCG was in my body . I went to see my FS about 2 weeks later and he suggested that we do a mini IVF . For 3 reasons : 1 . He didn 't want to give me too strong medication as it could cause another polyp , 2 . I stimmed well , I made 14 eggs with both previous IVF 's which my FS found that to be too much anyway , and 3 . My embryo 's did not do well with the freezing and thawing process and that was another reason not to get too many embryo 's . Initially we said the FET 's would be our last chance , but when the FS suggested the mini IVF , and the costs were quite a bit less than a normal IVF , we decided to make a plan and go ahead with it . I started writing in the beginning of the year , but I was not comfortable to share it with anyone . It did not come easy , but I managed to write down some stuff that was incredibly hard to admit to myself let alone anyone else . Some time in March I felt compelled to start this blog , but the writing style and topics were so different to what I wrote about previously . This time it was not hard to write at all . It came easy and I loved it . I think most of it did not come from me , but was inspired by the Holy Spirit , because every time I try to write something about other stuff , it 's hard again , and just does not seem to work … At first when I got my BFP I found it strange to have battled infertility for 10 . 5 years and suddenly only a month after I started my blog I 'm pregnant . How 's that for timing ? I cannot believe that it was coincidence . Another thing that I realized much later was that just after I started my blog , Shumi started to get sick . I just didn 't realize it at the time . In the first week of April Shumi started to get nosebleeds , not a lot and not too often , but enough for me to take him to the vet . I remember this as it was around his birthday which is the 5th of April . The vet mentioned that it could be cancer , but I refused to even entertain the thought . The bleeding stopped after the visit to the vet and I didn 't think about it again until a few months later . My mom had also just stopped her radiation treatment and we were all hopeful that she was completely healed . Our pregnancy was off course the highlight of the year - something that was just a dream come true and a absolute miracle to us . I cannot tell you in words the joy we felt in knowing that eventually I was pregnant . The thought of miscarriage did not even cross my mind . I always thought that God would protect me from miscarriage - we battled so long to get pregnant , I just assumed that everything would go well afterwards , that we deserved a problem free pregnancy . Or in the least that God would not take away the miracle that He gave us in the first place . I was so wrong in my thinking ! That was when I felt the bottom had dropped out completely . I had lost our miracle baby and the closest thing to a child of our own was our beloved dog Shumi , who was terminally ill , and more than 1 vet told us there is nothing they can do for him , and all of that together with my mom 's illness was just about too much to handle . I felt like I was going to lose my mind , and I had so many questions regarding why this was happening to us . One day I read an article in the " Joy " magazine about Jo . hn G La . ke Mini . stries after I begged God to give me answers to all my questions . That led me to listen to their course " The Di . vine Hea . ling Tech . nician " and that opened my eyes to a whole different side of God , and Jesus Christ and my view on Christianity . God also led me to some other resources that confirmed what I learnt there , and if you look back to my previous posts you will see that I mention them all . So many of the things I believed were proven wrong . I learnt that God does not cause or even allow illness , or infertility or miscarriages . I learnt that the person to blame was the devil , not God . I learnt that I was doing a lot of stuff wrong and that my wrong actions allowed these bad things to happen . I learnt to trust God completely , and to stop trusting in myself , medicine and doctors . I 'm not saying it 's wrong to trust in medicine or doctors , but that in certain instances they will still fail you , and then there is nothing else you can trust in but God , and that was what I had to do . I had to learn to be patient , to be at peace , to stop worrying and find rest with God . I learnt there is power in the Word of God , and the words we speak and the thoughts we think . If those words or thoughts are negative , then it will influence your life negatively , and if you are positive it will influence your life positively . I learnt to see and appreciate the small miracles from day to day . I learnt to accept and receive God 's blessings and love , to stay close to Him and let Him comfort me . I learnt to start expecting good things to happen , and not to get discouraged when they don 't happen as quickly as I would like it to happen . I learnt to be obedient to God and do what He requires from me . I was really impatient in the beginning when I learnt about God 's healing power - I wanted instant healing , like you read about in the Bible , but I learnt that it does not always happen instantly . I believe it works differently for everybody , because we don 't always understand or learn our lessons quickly . When I did not see results quickly I tried to get help from others , but it seems God wanted me to deal with this on my own . I get the idea He wants me to grow and learn from this , and not get anyone else to fix it for me . At the moment we haven 't had a breakthrough yet , but I 'm expecting it any day now . My mom will probably go for another PET scan soon , and I 'm hoping that this time there will be no doubt that she is completely healed from her cancer . She still has some IBS symptoms , she was admitted to hospital about a week before Christmas with terrible pain , but it turned out to be the after effects of the barium enema and nothing serious . She tells me she feels better every day . I 'm expecting a pregnancy every month , so far it hasn 't happened , but it also hasn 't discouraged me from hoping that this month will be it . What I have found is that my cycles are getting longer again and my lutual phase is longer , the spotting that I had before AF arrives is getting less again , my CM is becoming more like egg white consistency again and I have no more pain assocated with the adenomyosis like previous months . I can feel the inside of my pelvic area is more sensitive during ovulation , so I 'm assuming it 's ovulation pains , which I normally also never feel . Shumi is much better - he has no more snot , and his eye looks good , but he has had quite a bit of nose bleeds again . There is still some swelling on top of his nose and his nose is still mostly blocked , but he has a lot of energy , he eats well and looks well . It is almost 6 months after the vet said that he will only live a " couple " of months . So in summary : It was a hard year , with intensely sad moments that I did not know how to cope with or survive at the time , but I have learnt and grown so much and God has been such a rock for me to lean on . I have felt His intense love for me , I realised that He hurts just as much as we do in the difficult moments , and that He just wants all that is good for us . So I cannot say that 2010 was just a bad year - it was also a good year ! But I 'm not so brave to say that I would do it again though ! 2 Comments » I cannot help to think about what could have happened or what should have happened . I 'm talking about my pregnancy . The due date ( 6 January 2011 ) is getting closer and closer and if I think about the fact that my pregnancy started out as a twin pregnancy , it just makes me realize that I would most probably not have carried them to full term , so I could have been very close to having those babies by now , should things have worked out differently . I worked out yesterday that I was supposed to have been 35 weeks by now . Last year we went to visit my mom in hospital on Christmas day . We first went to church and then we picked up my dad and went through to the hospital which was quite far from where we live . My mom had her hysterectomy on the 23rd of December and she was the only patient in ICU at that stage . It was incredibly quiet in the hospital , as it is a hospital that has mostly Gynaecologist 's and Obstetricians practising from there . The only other people we could see were some new mom 's and dad 's leaving the hospital with their newly born little babies . When I looked up how far I was supposed to be I saw that 38 weeks would have been on 23 December this year . It is the same date my mom had her hysterectomy - emergency hysterectomy because she had cancer . Her doctor did not want to take a chance on waiting until after Christmas or New Year ; it had to be done immediately … Now that we are getting close to Christmas I keep thinking about all this . About how we could have had Christmas babies , but we are not having them . How our family could have visited me in hospital with our babies this year on Christmas , or even better yet , we might have been home already ! And it makes me incredibly sad and angry ! I have moments where I just want to burst out in tears , most of the time at the most inappropriate moments , like social gatherings and in church , etc . I am so angry at the devil for stealing and killing my miracle babies ! He had no right to do that ! Christmas has been hard for me for so many years now . I actually cannot remember when last I looked forward to it . It 's been a stressful time for so long . Firstly the issue of who do we celebrate Christmas with : my parents or DH 's parents . I know they love us and want us to spend the day with them , but what do you do when both want to see you at the same time ? Try to divide it up as fairly as possible - but it is not always possible and not always seen as such by everyone ! It 's complicated by the fact that we have 1 brother and 2 sisters between us . They also have to divide their time between their families and their in - laws and sometimes it doesn 't always work out that they can spend Christmas with our parents at the same time as we can . Then there are the presents - who do you buy for and who don 't you buy for ? Some people don 't buy presents for others . Others put a lot of effort in to get us really nice presents . So I just buy for everyone , because I cannot buy something for some and not for others . Even though it is quite expensive to buy for so many people , and because of that I really spend a lot of time trying to get nice presents at affordable prices , without it looking cheap … The last aspect and by far the hardest part are the children . Christmas is the favourite holiday for children and they look so forward to it and opening up all the presents ! And every single time when it is time to open up the presents I think of how nice it would be to see our own children 's expectant faces ! This year is going to be the 12th Christmas where I will long for that ! And then I start to think of the meaning of Christmas and why we celebrate it and I realize that it 's not fair to Jesus that I dread it so much ! God sent his Son to earth , as a helpless little baby . Jesus gave up His place in Heaven , His Godliness , to be born as a little baby , not as the son of a king or someone important but as the adopted son of a poor carpenter . He was not born in a hospital or a nice house or palace , but in a stablPs . I am not saying what they are getting , because you never know who reads this post ! It might be one of them ! 2 Comments » I saw after I posted my last post that it was in fact my 100th post . So I think I 'll rather celebrate my 101st post here ! Since it 's almost ICLW I 'll also make this my ICLW introduction . Welcome all new readers ! It 's been almost 6 months of blogging and have those 6 months flown by ! But so much has happened since I started this blog it should not be a surprise ! When I started this blog I was wondering if we should do another IVF , and scared out of my mind that it would result in another BFN . We did go ahead and we got our first BFP ever ! I could not believe it at first ; I was almost convinced it would never happen . At 7 weeks we had our first scan , and we found out that there was 1 healthy heartbeat and 1 blighted ovum . I was a little sad about losing the one , but a lot more happy about the healthy heartbeat ! I focussed on the good news and not the bad news . Almost three weeks later I got the worst news ever - our little precious baby 's heartbeat had stopped beating . Something that I never thought would ever happen to me ( how naïve ! ) I always thought that once I got pregnant that everything would be all right - that it would be the end of the struggle and problems , but not so ! I had the D & C at about 10 and a half weeks . In the mean time my mom also found out that her cancer had returned - her Para aortic lymph nodes were swollen , but because she didn 't trust her oncologist she went for a second and third opinion . It turned out after a PET scan that those lymph nodes were PET positive , which does not mean its a 100 % chance of cancer , but most probably it is . Rather than taking chances the new oncologist suggested that she go for chemotherapy . She had had 1 session so far and is getting the second one next week Monday . She took the first chemo rather well - the only side effect she had was extreme tiredness , fortunately no nausea or hair falling out or any other symptoms . My mom 's oncologist said that the rest of the treatments will result in the same side effects as the first one , so she should be taking it all rather well . That was such good news for her ! We also found out about a month after our miscarriage that our beloved dog Shumi had a tumour in his nose and the 2 vets we had him at said that there is nothing they can do to treat or cure him . We were also told that he has a few months to live at the most . It was absolutely devastating news to us , especially if you take into account that Shumi is still relatively young at 5 years … Shumi is like a child and we absolutely adore him . I could not accept that I have to lose Shumi too , so in desperation I studied faith healing and even went to a healing service , not just for Shumi , but also for DH , my mom and myself … I am hoping for full healing for all of us … We also got another puppy ( KT ) , not to replace Shumi , but because I always wanted another puppy after our last one passed away more than 3 years ago already . She is absolutely adorable and I must say she does help to distract me from the worst of the broody feelings . I 'm posting some more pictures and another video clip of Shumi and KT : 3 Comments » The day of our appointment has finally arrived exactly one month after my evacuation D & C . The FS said that our little baby had Trisomy 13 or Patau syndrome and that is where the foetus had an additional third chromosome 13 and that is caused by nondisjunction of chromosomes during myosis . In layman 's terms what that means is that the chromosomes did not split properly during myosis ( which occurs during maturation of the egg ) and that there was an extra chromosome on the pair numbered 13 . The three common occurrences are at the genes numbered 13 , 18 and 21 and of those , number 21 is the one where Down 's syndrome originates from and that is also the only one where the foetus is most likely to survive to birth . It is very rare for a baby with trisomy 13 to survive until birth and should it survive it would be severely handicapped mentally and physically and they do not survive for longer than a year after birth . We discussed a plan of action for a new IVF cycle and we can start with one ( Femara & Gonal F like IVF # 3 ) when AF arrives if we want , or we have the option to do a long protocol and do a month of birth control first and the IVF in the cycle after that . After some discussion of the pros and cons we have decided to do the long protocol with Lucrin and Fostimon ( Like IVF # 2 ) . I have a few reasons for that - the most important being that the cycle we did that way produced better looking embryos on day 3 . The other reasons were that my FS feels that the short protocol is better for poor responders and I 've never been a poor responder , I 've read that Femara compromises quality by influencing the myosis process ( my FS does not agree but I don 't want to take the chance ) and I 've read that the down regulation of LH with birth control and Lucrin can also help with quality ( again my FS is not convinced of that ) . We will be doing a lower dose of Fostimon than last time - I was on 225 units but now I will go on 150 units , and hopefully it won 't give me a polyp . Last time it was reduceI don 't have a clue where I am in my cycle and the doctor did a scan - my uterus looks good , no polyp present and it looked like I did ovulate from my one ovary , so the FS said AF can come anytime from now up to 2 weeks from now - I guess I just have to wait patiently … We discussed PGD - it 's an option that we are seriously considering but the doctor recommended that we only do it if we have at least 3 - 4 8 - cell embryos on day 3 . We spoke to the lady that does the PGD and she is a qualified genetic specialist . She gave us a lot of information on it , and we found out that if we would have done PGD the trisomy 13 would most probably have been detected . There is a chance however that the test can come back inconclusive or that the embryo can be damaged . The other problem is that it will cost an additional R10000 on top of the cost of the IVF , for which we didn 't get a quote on today . So we will have to see if the budget allows for it . We have at least 6 - 8 weeks to decide on it anyway , so no rush … So the first thing is for AF to arrive , of which there is still no sign of by the way , and then I must start the birth control pills . DH thinks it 's totally weird for me to go on them when I want to get pregnant , but its better that way as it will also help to regulate my cycle which can still be disrupted from the miscarriage after AF has come on . It also means IVF will be done in the 3rd cycle after our miscarriage and that 's also a bit safer … 2 Comments » I 've been feeling a little guilty about something I 've written in yesterday 's post as I 'm afraid you might misunderstand what I tried to say . It 's all about this part : " I must say I 'm feeling a bit better about the miscarriage knowing what went wrong … " It sounds horrible , that the fact that my baby was abnormal makes me feel better , and that just sounds wrong … Let me try to explain : Our whole IF journey I have been told that although we have some problems ( Endo stage 2 , polyps , hostile CM at one stage and not so ideal sperm morphology ) that those problems are not severe enough to cause this long wait … According to all the FS 's I 've seen it should have been relatively easy to get pregnant . A year ago my own FS said ( at the age of 38 I must add ) that we should be able to get pregnant naturally , but because it 's taken so long we tried IUI again for 3 more times . It did not work and we moved on to IVF , and we 've done 2 fresh cycles and 1 FET since then … Some of those FS 's have mentioned the words " unexplained IF " … I can understand that diagnosis as I know of ladies with much more severe problems that have been able to get pregnant rather easily compared to what I 've been going through . For example : I worked with one girl that took 1 - 2 days off work every month when AF arrived due to her terrible endometriosis . She was pregnant naturally within 6 months of getting married and has 2 darling little sons at the moment . Another lady I know had such severe problems ( I 'm not exactly sure what - I think it was also endo ) , and her gynae wanted to do a hysterectomy at the age of 23 , 6 weeks before her wedding day . When she came back from honeymoon she was 4 weeks pregnant . She also did not get any form of fertility treatments , but I know she did go for quite a lot of operations before and after her pregnancies . The second child took a bit longer , but there is about 3 years difference between them , so I assume she tried at the most for 2 years . I 'm assuming it 's more that 1 year here because she told me once that trying for 1 year is nothing ! That was when I was upset at our 1 year mark , but in all fairness she did not know that we had 3 failed IUI 's already behind us . Then there are also cases that I 've read about on the internet - ladies with endo stage 4 that get pregnant with 1 - 3 IUI 's , other ladies with severe problems that require laparotomies that get pregnant on their first or second IVF and so on … ( I know not all of them get pregnant so easily , I 'm just saying the time you battle to get pregnant cannot be directly linked to what is wrong with you … ) So it 's been extremely frustrating to have a doctor tell me that I should get pregnant relatively easily , but it never happened that way . The doctors could not explain why it was so difficult for us . In the mean time DH 's sperm apoptosis test was done and we found out that he has a high amount of genetically defective sperm and then we found out that I have adenomyosis as well , but that is still not enough reason for our failure to conceive . Eventually ( after 10 years ) it seems that I have autoimmune issues that are killing off our embryo 's in my uterus and with the help of intralipids I eventually got pregnant for the first time … The point I 'm trying to make here is that I 've heard so many times that the doctors just can 't explain why we have problems that I was sort of expecting the same answer regarding this miscarriage again . Fortunately it was not the case - we have a clear explanation here , and for once I know that it 's not due to any of the known problems that I have . The FS has mentioned that it could be due to other problems , like lack of progesterone ( tests came back high enough ) , thyroid problems ( my tests have always been normal even though I 've had a growth on my thyroid ) or the auto immune issues ( which I was treated for ) . Now we know it was not due to any of these things , and although it is not a nice thought that we had a chromosomally abnormal foetus , at least we know what the problem was and we can do something about it in the future … 4 Comments » The sister phoned me regarding the genetic tests that were done and she said that it revealed aneuploid 13 , which is a severe form of chromosomal disorder and that is the reason for my miscarriage . I guess we will have some more information next week Wednesday when we see our FS and the sister says they have a genetic specialist there and that we can see her as well . We can then decide if we want to do PGD ( or whatever genetic tests they offer ) with a future IVF or not …
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It 's a well accepted fact that students are poor . It 's well accepted that generally , students have no money ever . Several business 's have even been obliging enough to set up discounts for these stress freaks that make no money . I am the luckiest kind of student because I still live with my parents . I make hardly any money , spend ridiculous amounts on textbooks and the like , yet I still remain solvent because I don 't have to buy groceries . That however , doesn 't keep me from cooking . I enjoy cooking , so when I have the time , I make dinner . This very Friday , my friend Kylie and I were going to Sobey 's to gather ingredients for such an occasion . It was while we were picking out apples and arguing over the best type of dinner rolls that we noticed the curious little tables set up with various delicacies . Yes , my friends . Grocery store samples . On the surface they are meant to be a marketing ploy to get people eating new products , but really they are meant to fill the empty bellies of hungry students . And that 's exactly what we did . It was a good day for samples . We had salmon , cereal , a whole slice of pizza each , ice cream , fancy chees and crackers , the works ! We ate an entire meal for free from the good will and / or marketing ploys of Sobey 's . So my dear fellow students , if you 're hungry , and your cupboards are bare , try walking around the grocery store . You 'd be surprised how filling it can be . NOTE : When Sobey 's is hoarding , I recommend Costco . After perusing several people 's facebooks and blogs I keep getting the same message over and over again . " Jessica Melnychuck is finished exams ! " " Karen Dick is finished University ! " And the endless blogs of " I 'm just ging to hang out in my pajamas for the next three weeks because I am done , " are starting to get to me . I 've come to the conclusion that I am the last student left standing . It all began on Saturday , at 9 am ( when normal people are asleep ) and the majority of the people in my program finished the semester off with our comm theory exam . The usual festivities and celebrations took place , which I attended in spite of the fact I have nothing to celebrate yet , and then I looked around and went , " Hey , I 'm the only one still buried in a textbook . " Okay that 's an exaggeration . I know a few people who are still writing today . But EVERYONE I know finishes before me . I FEEL SO ALONE IN THE WORLD . So to all my fellow students , I hope you 're happy . And know that while you are sleeping / partying / hanging out in pajamas and being awesome , I am still trying to keep all the medieval popes straight . I ' M ALL ALONE , THERE ' S NO ONE HERE . . . . . BESIDE ME ! I 'm at school right now . Where else am I ever ? Anyway , I 'm supposed to be studying for my Children 's Lit . final which is at 7 tonight . Yes , my exam schedule is just that lame . So here I am , on the couch in the Comm Centre ( which is basically where I live ) , and along comes a guy pushing a cart full of cakes . Strange . And to say that anything is strange in the Comm Centre is saying something , cause all kinds of crazy things happen . But , I mind my own business and get back to Dr . Seuss . It 's just Bridge Brand cake anyway . Than people start arriving . Not unusual for the Comm Centre , but instead of pulling out their textbooks , or falling asleep on the couch , or crying in despair at the overwhelming amount of assignments they have ( as people often do in the Comm Centre ) , they 're completely relaxed . Walking around , chatting , introducing their boyfriends to people . OUTSIDERS IN THE COMM CENTRE ? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO ? It 's when one of the instructors starts hooking up a giant set of speakers that I figure out what 's going on : the E - Pubs are having a party . Apparently they 're starting a magazine . Or something . By the time the music starts , and the cake is being circulated , I am feeling increasingly dorky . All around me , people are visiting , and being at a party , and I 'm reviewing my notes for English . Choosing my only escape . I flee to the Resource and Archive Room . The only problem with the archive room is it 's got glass doors . So it 's not a very good hideout . So while I continue to study , E - pubs walk by with their cake and stare at me like a peculiar kind of monkey in the zoo . The nerdiest of monkies : the kind that studies during a party . You know how at parties there 's always that girl sitting in the corner reading a book or flipping through and old magazine because she feels awkward and wants to look occupied , but secretly wishing she was out of sight so people would stop staring at her ? Today , that 's me . I have this mock press conference thingy coming up on Monday . We 're meeting with the second year PR students and doing a pretend press meeting . So anyways , our prof told us that each group would meet with their PR group at various times through the week . My group was told 8 : 30 AM on Thursday . That was annoying enough in itself because I have no classes on Thursday , but it was made even more annoying by the fact that the PR people didn 't show . I 'd driven all the way to school on the early side , on a day I ususally hang out in my pajamas all day , for nothing . It was okay though , I ended up getting a lot done at school as I stayed to make the trip worth my while . But it gets better . Thursday night , one of our PR 's sends us an e - mail asking if we can meet the next day . Only two fo us checked our e - mail in time , so only two of us showed up . What we discovered is that the PR students had not heard about our planned meeting until later that day in class . Such admirable work by Mount Royal College 's Communications Department . Don 't you think ? I have my history midterm this afternoon , and I 'm tryiing to study . It 's a lot of remembering names , and events that all have really silly names . My main worry is that I will spell them wrong . I generally know what happens , it 's just the stupid names . I know that Henry the III ( ? ) organized a big meeting during the investiture controversy to get rid of the whole 3 popes thing , and he appointed his cousin to be the pope , but I can 't remember the things like , the meeting was called the Synod of Sutri , and his cousin 's name was Bruno of Toul , but he changed it to Pope Leo IX . And that 's another thing , why do they all have to have the same name ? It is hard enough trying to remember which pope did what without worrying about if you got the number right . Everyone is named either Leo , or Henry , or Charles , or William . What was wrong with medeival mothers ? Obviously they lacked imagination when naming their kids . Did they not realize how hard they were making it for future students trying not to get the Leo who reformed the church with his own ecclesiaticals mixed up with the one who threw himself at Charlesmagne 's feet 200 years earlier mixed up ? Geez . I have no channels . And by that I don 't mean I have peasant vision . I mean no channels . Period . We are not just peasants . We are homeless vagebonds in the world of TV . You see , to have peasant vision , you have to have an antenae , and we don 't . So to get one measly , fuzzy channel , you have to do a dance with a piece of tin foil on a chord . And even then , the picture isn 't that good . Plus , your likely standing behind the TV with your hands in the air , or in the middle of the room on one foot cause that tin foil thing is so picky about where it has to be to get reception . And it always chooses the oddest places . So we don 't watch TV . Call me crazy but the whole enjoyment is taken away when you have to watch while standing on your tiptoes . For the longest time , I didn 't watch TV shows unless I was at friends houses , and then I didn 't really like it cause I was behind the times . So I avoided even that . Then I discovered shows on DVD . Introduced to me by my sister Jaima with Lost , I began watching previous seasons of shows , and feeling slightly in the TV loop . Plus I figured DVD was the way to watch shows , cause I could watch as mush or as little whenever I wanted . But I was still behind the times . I 'd watch an entire season in a few days , and then be waiting with baited breath for a year until the next season was released on DVD . Then my sister Janine introduced me to TV Links . FYI - TV Links is a website that has shows available online to watch . I was hooked ! How awesome was it that I could watch shows without going to rent them ? Or waiting for them to come out on DVD ? For the first time in my life , I was regularly following shows every week . I had three that I loved ; Heroes , the Office , and How I Met Your Mother . Then , a trajedy occurred ; TV Links was shut down . Apparently something they did was illegal , and they vanished . Okay , so maybe it was an illegal website , but I was still devastated . My world of TV shows , gone . So this blog is dedicated in loving memory of TV Links . Yeah , you were illegal , but you were a friend to mePosted by Once upon a time there was a frozen pizza named Millena . So named because , well , that was the company that had made her . Mild mannered Millena was one day sitting in her normal place on the top shelf of the deep freeze in the Redd 's place of residence when to her astonishment , the freezer opened , and a hand reached toward her , taking her out of her comfortable home and into the discomfort of the room temperature kitchen . Now Millena was a shy pizza , she rarely associated with the bags of peas and cans of lemonade concentrate that lived next door to her in the deep freeze . But what the Redd 's didn 't know was that though Millena was quiet and shy , she had a temper like a gas range . Millena was not impressed at being taken out of her comfortably cold home . She was even less impressed when she was taken out of her pretty cardboard box with her name written on it in red block letters . But the Redd 's did not care for the suffering they caused poor Millena . They wanted lunch , and hungry people are notorious for listening to nothing but their own stomachs . So they did not hear Millena 's disgruntled protests . They paid no mind when she wailed as her plastic cover was taken off . They did not care that the pizza pan was too small for her , and she was uncomfrtable on that ugly dish . They just wanted their lunch . You can imagine Millena 's horror and displeasure when she was placed in the oven at 425 degrees to bake for 25 minutes . This was the final straw . She would not stand for this mistreatment . Her temper got the better of her . In her rage , Millena swelled to an enormous size . Her cheesy goodness turned to brittle black , her lovely thin crusts curved over the edge of the pan and burned . Her delectable pepperoni retained the flavour and texture of cardboard . And while all this was happening . Millena grew . She grew until she was no longer a pizza , but instead , a gaint , dougy bubble ready to explode . It was a good thing the cook opened the oven at that precise moment . Had she waited a second more , Millena would be decorating the Posted by I have always considered myself to be a good speller , and I 'm a fairly good typist as well . But sometimes , I get too excited , or typing too fast , and I make the dumbest mistakes , that were I writing , I would never make . Skipping words , spelling them horribly wrong , or just spelling them wrong so instead of the , we have teh . You probably noticed such mistakes in earlier blogs that I was too lazy to proofread , or if you 've talked to me on msn or facebook , you know what a klutz of the keyboard I am . Take the word interested . I know how to spell this word . It 's an easy word . Yet every time I type it , I write intersted . I don 't know what it is , but for some reason I can never get that word . Silly keyboard . NOTE : 15 such mistakes were made and discovered in this blog alone . Make that 17 . The thing about journalism is that they ignore all the rules . Paragraphs must be kept to one or two sentences so readers don 't see a really long paragraph and flip to the next page . And you have to be way more direct , and weird analogies and / or wordiness is frowned upon . I got into journalism because I love to write . I was the dream English student in high school because I wrote assignments for fun . Even now in my Children 's Lit . class ( which is my favourite ) I cannot wait to do my assignments because I think they 're all so fun . I 'm not saying I want to switch majors . I like journalism , but if I could do anything I wanted for my career , anything at all , I would sit in a hole and write English papers . All day . Last weekend on Thanksgiving , I was given the task of making the pies . Actually I appointed myself , because I love pies and I wanted to make them , so I designated myself the dessert lady . Anyways , I made four pies . Two pumpkin , one apple , and one blueberry . Neen made the blueberry actually , but I made the dough for it . So here we have four lovely pies to wash down our turkey feast on Sunday evening . All we had to do was bake them , and I would be the ultimate dessert lady of the evening . We didn 't eat the pies until a while after dinner . They were sitting on the stove top , looking so alluring and delicious in their golden fruity goodness . In attendance were the Fixsens , my family who live at home , and Adrianna ; who came for Thanksgiving because her family went away without her . Everyone there ( and most people I know actually ) knew how passionate I am about pie . Also , my sisters Jaima and Janine are both award winning pie makers , so this was a tense situation . At last we tucked into my delicious pies . They were not so delicious . They had been put in the oven after the turkey was cooked , and smelled up the oven with it 's turkey fumes . They tasted like ash . At first everyone took polite bites and hid their grimaces behind smiles . Then Neen pointed out that the blueberries tasted funny . Then Jaima did like wise with the pumpkin . My beautiful pies , ruined ! Oh well , I guess every cook has to have a few mishaps . I just recently inherited my sister 's cell phone . I am still learning the rules and practices of cell phones , and today a rather funny incident occurred . I was sitting in my history class , my phone in my pocket on vibrate . I usually have my phone on vibrate just cause I don 't like ringtones . Anyway , it was in my pocket , and I was completely absorbed in my class . We were talking about Charlesmagne and I was engrossed , as well as madly taking notes . When , quite out of the blue , someone called me . Now what you have to understand is that I ama ) Still getting used to having something shake in my pocketb ) Actually in a different century , picturing Charlesmagne murdering his brotherI was so surprised by this sudden quaking , I gasped , jumped a few feet and collided with the table , and threw my pencil in the air all in one seamless motion . Everyone turned to look at me . I mean everyone . My prof stopped speaking and asked me if I was okay . Red - faced , I nodded and dug out my phone to see who had called me ; pretending that jumping up in the air and throwing pencils was a perfectly ordinary thing to do . What can I say ? Vibrate mode hurts . So , Calgary Municipal Election coming up . The radio , city website , and flyer in the mail are all very informative as to who can vote , and what to bring to the polls , and where the polls are , yet they tell you nothing about the different candidates . Oh yes , there is a list of names . Everyone who is running was listed in the flyer . Yet there was nothing about where they stood on certain issues and their promises and all that . Not only is it not in the information packet , it 's impossible to find online . I 've tried google , facebook , the government website ; nothing . The least they could do is provide me with their individual websites . For a democracy , and one that is trying to increase voter turnout , you 'd think they 's make it a little easier to find such info . So , I 'm doing my readings for history . Well not really . I should be doing my history readings but instead I am blogging about it , but you get the idea . I am a history nerd . Not as bad as my brother , but I have always loved history . It 's all like a story folding out in front of you . It is astonishing , however , how easy it is to make bloody battles and assassination attempts sound as boring as the stock market statistics . ( If you think the stock market is interesting , please substitute in something you find extremely boring ) Whenever I am reading my history textbook , my eyes start to glaze over and I nod off , and I 'm reading about murder , and scandal , and death . How is it that historians can make it sound so boring ? No wonder so many people find history boring . I think , that history should be written , like a novel . Way more people would read it , and those of us who have to do our required readings would not die of boredom . But then , the world would work quite differently , if I were in charge . For starters : 1 . People would burst into song and random passersby would do choreographed dances ; like in musicals . 2 . Teenie boppers would be cool . 3 . March 14 would be an international holiday . 4 . You would be able to eat as many mozzarella sticks and / or brownies as you like , and not gain a pound . 5 . Knowledge could be acquired through osmosis . And that 's just a start . . . . . . . . Tonight , I got home after leaving my little brother on his own for most of the evening . Now , something you have to understand is that my brother Peter has five older sisters , and therefore has seen every good chick flick that has come out in the past few years . With such an overwhelming majority to the girls , Peter has little say in what we watch , and he also has six mothers . Each sister in turn ( and especially Janine and I ) has taken it upon ourselves to try and make Peter into a nice boy someday , if only for the sake of his future wife . The poor kid has had so many lectures ending or beginning with ; " When you are older , girls will love it when . . . " So back to today . I came home , and no surprise , the tv was on downstairs . A fourteen year old boy on his own , what else would he do ? I came downstairs , expecting to see something like Lord of the Rings or Ocean 's Eleven , and stopped . Peter was watching Pride and Prejudice . By himself . Of his own free will . And then the really interesting thing is when I stared at him in surprise , and Peter turned to me and said enthusiastically ; " I love this movie . Care to join me ? " So I sat and watched Pride and Prejudice with my little brother . The best part of it was how into it he was . Through the entire movie , we were discussing . The old version vs . the new , the historical accuracy , he even knew which parts are totally romantic , and , when Mr . Darcy is walking through the mist toward Lizzie , he exclaimed ; " Quiet ! I love this part ! " Petey , you are going to make an awesome husband . 1 . Making supper , with cheese . 2 . Working on my storytelling assignment for Wednesday . 3 . Picking up my holds at the library so I can read them . 4 . Finishing cleaning the office for tomorrow . 5 . Planning the food for GBJ / HEBE . 6 . Wasting time watching trailers on Apple . com7 . Talking to people instead of sitting by myself . 8 . Figuring out how to check the voicemail on my cell phone . 9 . Eating something yummy , like pie . All I 've got is water . 10 . Driving home listening to Michael Buble . 11 . Discussing the Belgariad with my little brother . 12 . Sleeping ! 13 . Watching how i met your mother , or Heroes . 14 . Going to institute and listening to Bro . Mandin be witty . 15 . Spending my days outside in the sunshine instead of a number of windowless classrooms . 16 . Actually having sunshine to sit in . 17 . Working on one of my novels , and having them pan out . 18 . Playing with my camera . 19 . Baking . I have the sudden urge to make cookies . or muffins . 20 . Having something intersting to blog about . 21 . Playing with my ibbi inn Edmonton . 22 . Knitting , and finishing a project . 23 . Yoga . 24 . Watching my little brother play football . Inspite of the fact that a ) I do not understand the game of football , and b ) It 's always freezing at football games . 25 . Watching teenie boppers ! 26 . Discussing various intersting life moments with Janine . 27 . A sudoku puzzle . 28 . Being in History , instead of just sitting waiting for it to start . Stupid long breaks . 29 . Having an assignment to work on instead of sitting here , blogging . 30 . ANYTHING ! Why , oh why did they have to let us out of computer Science an hour early ? Anyone who has ever driven with me , or who 's house I 've driven to , knows that I do not have the best sense of direction in the world . The incident of Karaoke World comes to mind . And then there are the countless times I have driven through Ranchlands or Edgemont , or even , my own Tuscany , and gotten hopelessly lost . Those silly communities with their streets all sounding the same , and the identical houses so you never have any idea where you are . In the past few months , I have gotten better at finding my way to certain people 's houses . One friend in particular , who lives in Edgemont , has been especially difficult to find . Whenever I go to his house , I take some kinda wrong turn and end up hopelessly lost . Last week , I drove to Trever 's house and to my astonishment , did not get lost once . I was so excited I ran into his house to announce my accomplishment . I was quite proud of myself . Then , this weekend , I drove to Trever 's again , and sadly , it appears that last week was an abnormal event . My excuse is that this week I was driving from a completely different direction . I 'd picked up another friend in Ranchlands , and therefore had to take a different route . Now , when going to friends houses , I generally don 't know street names . I just know that I take the road by Churchill and then turn at the 7 Eleven and then go down the hill and turn at the familiar looking road , and then Trever 's street is the one with the playground and mailboxes at the entrance . Not the best directions , I know , but when coming from my own house , I can find it ; piece of cake . Coming from Ranchlands , it 's an entirely different matter . Perhaps it wouldn 't of been quite so bad if I had taken John Laurie ; I can find my usual route from John Laurie . But it just so happens that the turn off to John Laurie comes up much sooner when you 're coming from Ranchlands , and I didn 't even realize I 'd missed it until I was Country Hills ( a good ways away ) . At any rate , we ended up going down Country Hills , and , in a moment of sheer idiocy , I took the closest turn Posted by We all have our little guilty pleasures ; things we secretly love that we don 't want other people to know we like . But why do they have to be " guilty " pleasures ? Why can 't they just be pleasures ? Here 's mine ; I love teenie boppers . I know they are always lame and poor quality , but I absolutely love teenie boppers . Tonight , I went to a movie with my mom . She 's someone I can always watch teenie boppers with because she likes them , and I feel comfortable admitting I want to see them around her . Tonight we went to " Sydney White , " a modern version of Snow White . It was cheesy , totally predictable , the love interest was good looking and unwholesomely good , and the protagonist was your typical " real girl " who can catch a football and eats a lot yet is still a toothpick . Yet , I LOVED IT ! It was so cute , and the nice guys got the girls , and it was just so cheesily good . Life should be more like teenie boppers . I would love to live in a world where the nice girls always win and the dorky guys always get the pretty girls . Where school is all about the current drama and your grades just drift along in the background , and studying is just what you do to ignore the cute boy when he 's expressing his undying love for you . And wouldn 't it be awesome to have those " Cliques are bad , accept peoples differences " big moments in real life . I think it would be . So there you have it ; my guilty pleasure . I love teenie boppers . In the words of Sydney White ; " My name is Elena , I watch teenie boppers . I am a dork ! " NOTE : Please also acknowledge that British pop is among my favourite music , I still read books for ages 9 - 12 , I love mozzarella sticks and have always had a crush on Brian from the Backstreet Boys . So here I am sitting at home doing my readings for my Communication Theory class , thinking whoever wrote this book should be shot . WHO CARES ABOUT THEORIES OF COMMUNICATION ? ARE PEOPLE HONESTLY GOING TO , IN THE MDDLE OF A CONVERSATION SAY ; " Hmmmmm , yes this is and example of objective communication , and it is semiotic something something because of this and this pointless idea . " WHAT PURPOSE DOES THE STUDY OF COMMUNICATING SERVE ? WHEN WILL I EVER NEED TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SOCIO - CULTURAL AND SOCIO - PSYCHOLOGICAL COMMUNICATION ? ARGGGHHHHHH ! I thought the end of useless classes came with the end of high school . Oh how naive I am , this is just the beginning . Stupid class . I am writing this blog from school , on my brand new macBook ! Or , at least , it 's new to me . I bought it off Janine , or I will be , when I go to the bank and she deletes all her stuff on it , it will be completely mine . But still , hahaha ! I am excited for to be lugging this very expensive piece of equipment around in my backpack . I am not the most techno savvy person . I am not one of my father 's children who gets excited whenever Apple comes out with some new software . I don 't get excited my electonic equipment . Or at least I didn 't until now . In addition to my laptop , I also went out and bought another hugely expensive toy for the pourpose of my post secondary education ; my camera . Lots of people get digital cameras , in fact plenty of people find it odd that I did not possess one until now . I 'll tell you what though , my camera is better than yours . ( NOTE : The pror claim only applies to all my friends and relations except for Melissa , who probably has a pretty awesome camera , and anyone who has gotten a professional camera and NOT told me . Even , then , my camera might outrank yours ) The camera I had to buy for my journalism program , and my future career , is the Canon Rebel TXi . For those of you who have no idea what that means , and your eyes merely just glazed over when you read my camera 's name , it 's one of those camera that has a huge on it like Jimmy in Lois and Clark . ( Except , it 's probably more advanced than his . ) I 've hardly used it yet , but I love just taking it out and playing with it . Holding it up and adjusting the lens , it makes me feel powerful . I got my camera two and a half weeks ago . I would of blogged about it closer to the actual purchase but , I didn 't . So , I will now rehash the entire adventure of buying a very expensive , cool looking camera . I got home from school on Friday , at the end of my first week filled with adrenaliine . Classes were fun , I didn 't have much work yet , I was happy . Then my dad ; who had been watching the sales of my camera since I 'd got in to my program - announced that my camera was oPosted by We all already know that I live in the middle of no where . Or , if you 've read my previous blogs , I 'm sure I 've griped about it enough . My stuck - in - the - boonie - ness is made even worse by the fact that I go to school on the far other side of the city . On a good day , when I get caught in no traffic , I can make it there in half an hour . With this in mind , you can imagine my despair when I realized I 'd forgotten an assignment while driving to school this morning . I most certainly did not have time to drive home then , I was cutting it close as it was , so instead I decided that I would drive home in the hour and a half break I had between classes . I headed out of my first class in a hurry , even with an extra half hour , I didn 't want to take any chances ; things have a habit of going horribly wrong when you 're in a hurry . Fortunetely , I made home and back in plenty of time , it cost me a quarter of a tank of gas , but what can you do ? Then , I got back to school , flushed and ready for Computer Science with my assignment in hand . Upon arriving in class , my prof benevolently announced that we would discuss the assignment , ( which was an opinion piece ) and then he asked us to post our thoughts on the discussion he was opening on blackboard for next class . WHAT ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? HE WASN ' T TAKING IT IN ? I almost wanted to insist that he take it , but begrudgingly I left class with my precious assignment still in my bag . Profs don 't know what they want ! One hour of driving , a quarter tank , all for nothing . ARGGGHHHHHHHHH ! As I complete my second week of classes , I am realizing some peculiar habits that pop up in journalists . Here are just a few . 1 . When a hurricane , or a man with a gun appears and starts wrecking havoc , normal people think ; " Good heavens , danger run away . " While journalists think ; " Awesome ! An exclusive , this will make my career . " ( That is , if I survive ) 3 . When normal people meet a nice old lady while meandering down an unknown street , they generally forget it . Journalists , write down her name , address and phone number in case something cool or newsworthy ever happens on that unknown street . Or , if they are ever craving fresh baked apple pie . 4 . It is considered perfectly ordinary for a journalist to go to work , parties , and the grocery store carrying a pen and paper , camera , and recording device . With other people that 's just creepy . 5 . When you are a journalist and you do not read 3 newspapers a day , the Times and The New Yorker , you are an oddity . 6 . If you are a journalist who reads the Lifestyle section instead of the Business , you are the equivalent of a little girl with pigtails who plays jump rope and hopscotch all day . 7 . You look on cute , furry , little animals as the best marketing ploy ever to get people to read your magazine . 8 . To a journalist , blogging is the spawn of Satan . ( whoops . ) 9 . To a journalist , natural disasters , political upheavals , and mass death and destruction are the greatest things since sliced bread . 10 . When normal people fear rejection and being rude , journalists feel nothing . The title ; " reporter " is basically just an excuse to be obnoxious . The road of a journalist is a very diverse , winding road , and even then you get off it regularly to get whatever scoop you can . Fun , fun . Every time I check my e - mail , ( which is usually everyday ) , I have about 10 or 12 new e - mails . This would all be very exciting , if they were actual e - mails . But no , they are all messages from facebook saying things like , " Trever Walton sent you yet another message , " " Peter Redd wants you to get another totally pointless application , " etc . Now , don 't get me wrong , I like facebook . I do , after all have one , and I enjoy it most of the time , but sometimes I miss the good old days when people used to send me actual e - mails . When my inbox was full of messages from people I actually knew and liked , and not just links to facebook . How wrong is it that e - mail is the good old days ? You can imagine my surprise and delight when today I received an actual e - mail from my friend Brittni , summarizing her summer travelling around Canada . A group e - mail ? That is so last year . I love it ! A few weeks ago , I was on the phone to my cousin Mikyla and we were discussing how nice it is to get letters in the mail . So unexpected and cool . You feel special to think that someone would actually take the time to write you by snail mail . The same is coming true for e - mails . Instead of sending everyone a message on facebook as usual , Brittni took the time to send out a good old fashioned e - mail . Ah the good old days . Muffin the beta fish , died suddenly on the evening of Thursday , September 6 of natural causes . Muffin was a most beloved pet , and had a sparkling personality . He is survived by his owner , Elena Redd , who walked in to her room late on Thursday night to find her beloved Muffin floating belly up in murky water . His death , though sudden , was not unexpected , as Muffin was a rather old fish . The service held was small and simple , taking place in Elena 's bathroom . With a set face she saw her Muffin off and back to his natural habitat through the drain . Or at least , the Bow River ; which is close enough . Muffin came into the world of his loving owner just a year ago . After the tragic loss of her beloved Bjorn ; with whom she shared joint custody with Kylie Attfield , and who also resided in the pairs high school locker - Elena and Kylie went their separate ways and bought new fish apart . As Elena walked up and down the Petland aisle , she recalls Muffin immediately catching her eye . Not only because of his bright red exterior , but also because of his liveliness as he swam around his tiny cup . After taking him home , he was named ; Muffin because people name their cats Muffin so why not a fish ? Muffin lived a very adventurous life . It kickstarted when he was taken with his owner to Bowness High School as an English project for the film , " Big Fish . " He and Elena received a perfect grade , and after an excursion to Mr . Ricard 's math class ( where he was naturally the life of the party ) and a wild ride home in the clutches of Emily Wilmot , Muffin was returned to his regular routine of sitting on Elena 's desk and eating fish food . Muffin was a very loving , patient fish . He was very understanding of the numerous times Elena forgot to feed him , and he always co - operated when he was scooped out of his home and into a measuring cup for cleaning ( at least , after a fight ) . He was also very good with children . Every time Elena 's ibbi would come to Calgary they would watch him with delight and awe as he flitted around his bowl . Muffin brought joyPosted by Today was the orientation for my degree program . I know , I know , no sense having it after we 've already been in classes for two days , but what can I say ? That 's what they decided , and as a student , I just went along with it . The exciting , or at least interesting thing is , that Ralph Klein was at my orientation . Yes , our former Premier was in attendance at my college orientation . He did have a reason though . You see , Ralph Klein is the chair of my program , or some money organization he 's started . I don 't understand the details yet , all I know is he 's got an important title , and he 's a teacher at my school . How awesome is that ? So , with King Ralph in attendance , naturally the media showed up to our student orientation . That was interesting in itself , seeing as we were all gawking at them thinking , " That 's going to be us one day . " Then , for me , it got even more interesting when I was walking past the CTV camera at break and the called out ; " We need a female ! " Suddenly I found myself planted in front of the camera and being asked what I thought of this whole Ralph business . I gave some intelligent sounding answer , I don 't remember exactly what but I was proud of it , and then I skipped off ; enthralled . All right , I know lots of people appear on TV all the time , and anyone can be picked for something little like that , but I never have before , and I was really excited . See , being interviewed by the media is entirely different when you yourself want to BE the media . My orientation for journalism school and I 'm already on the news . Not a bad way to start . My whole life , I have had identity issues . Not in the way you 'd think , but simply in the fact that no one can pronounce my name properly . NOTE : The correct pronunciation is Eh - Len - AhBut I get everything but my actual name . Every time I 've started a new class , or met someone new , or had my name read out for sporting events , It 's a different variation of my name . The most common are ; Ah - Lan - Ah , El - Ain - Ah , and El - Enn - Ah . Then there are the ghastly such as El - Lean - Ah , Mel - Enn - Ah , and Elijah which really make me question the literacy of my fellow human beings . It 's a pain , teaching people to say my name , but it must be done . In most cases , in the instances of the teachers who say my name a different way each time they call me , I generally give up and teach them one of the common , acceptable pronunciations . Apparently they 're easier to say . Of all the difficulties with my name , I consider myself to be accustomed to the butchering of my name . To be honest , it 's mostly other people who do the correcting for me . However accustomed I may consider myself though , I was not prepared for college . You see , my identity issues do not end at my un - pronouncable name , oh no . To make things a little more exciting , I happen to go by my middle name . My real name is Nedra . Not Ned - raw , but Knee - dra . My parents gave me such a confusing name because they wanted to name me after both my grandmas , but call my Elena ; which is my Grannie Young 's Ukrainian name . However , they were torn , as Elena Nedra doesn 't sound very nice . Determined to have a namesake for both their mothers , my parents simply switched the names around . And as pretty as Nedra Elena may sound , it is nothing short of a headache . Until now , I have had minor , some may say amusing , encounters with this alternate identity . Whenever I go to the Alberta registry , they call me Ned - raw . ( and it sets my teeth on edge ) either that or I sit there , oblivious , as they call me name over and over again until I remember , " Oh , that is my name isn 't it ? " And then there 's my favourite game from Jr . Posted by You would think that the word - limit would imply that the stated speed is the MAXIMUM you can go , rather than the minimum . I generally don 't speed . That is not to say that I am a perfect driver , or even that I 'm a good driver , but I don 't speed . I can 't afford to speed . I occurred to me one day as I was going along about 20 over that if I got pulled over , I would be in serious trouble . Not because of demerits or anything , but simply because I would not have sufficient funds to pay off the ghastly sum they charge for tickets these days . So I don 't speed ; I go exactly the speed limit . You would be surprised at the cold reaction I receive from other drivers as drive along . Through my rear view mirror , I see driver after driver throw their hands up in despair , or stare as they swerve around me , expecting me to be an old grannie , and not a normal 18 year old . So what is wrong with driving the speed limit ? I may not get places as fast , and other drivers despise me , but in the end I 'm the one with more money in my pocket . Or at least , we would hope . Living in such a suburban place as Tuscany , one can be expected to drive most places . Not only are the bus connections horrible , but there really isn 't anything interesting to do within walking distance . So as I drive to work , or school , or wherever , I get to listen to the radio a lot . Sometimes I listen to my iPod or a CD , but most often I forget my iPod and my car is a snob who only plays store bought CD 's . So , most often , Calgary radio is my only alternative to listening to the sound of my engine . I don 't really like the radio , but today my dislike of radio is hitting me full force , so I will blog about it . 1 . I really don 't like radio DJ 's . The all have the same whiny , full of themselves voices , and the jokes they tell , or their arguments always sound so staged . It 's like cheap theatre , and you can 't even make yourself feel better by looking at their colourful outfits . 2 . Radio commercials are always ridiculously corny . Most likely this is because there is only so much you can do without visual , but seriously , they 're all ridiculous . 3 . All radio stations , no matter what type of music they play , has a little peppy recording of their name to powertales music . Every time I hear that singalong chorus going ; " Lite 96 ! " Or " Today 's best music . . . . . . . Vibe ! 98 ! 5 ! " I can see the jazz hands going and I want to retch . 4 . I have this theory that all radio stations are in a conspiracy to all suck at the same time . It always seems that I 'm flipping stations , looking for something mildly good , and finding nothing . Or , I 'm flipping stations and hearing half a good song , half a good song , etc . So I get angry at myself for missing the whole song . They 're either all good or all lame at the same time . 5 . The main reason I hate the radio is because all the stations are exactly the same . Once , I was stuck in my car waiting for someone for two hours . ( long story , maybe some other time ) While I was waiting , listening to the radio , I heard the same song 5 times , on 5 different stations . And when Gwen Stefani was coming to Calgary , quess wPosted by As a kid the idea of being home alone was so appealing . A bit scary perhaps , but the unending freedom for however many hours is a luxury . In a big family , there is rarely any time when I am completely alone in the house , so the novelty lasted till this summer . Last week , my parents had a condo in Kananaskis . My mom and my little brother were there all week , and my dad was going back and forth ; coming to work in Calgary and then driving out to Canmore for the night . My older sister and I were on our own most nights , having fun cranking music and baking . The evenings with just the two of us included late nights , and talking endlessly into the early morning . Then , last Thursday , my sister went to spend the night at another sister 's , as she didn 't have work the next day , and dad went out to Canmore again ; I would be spending the evening alone . As horrible as it sounds , I was thrilled . Being home alone always makes one feel such an extraordinary freedom . You can dance around the kitchen with no sense of self - restraint , you can stay in your bath robe for hours , the possibilities are endless . In my enthusiasm , I ordered a small pizza , ( and got the flavour I wanted without arguing with anyone ) I gave myself a facial and a pedicure , ( without my brother laughing at the peachy goo on my face ) I mixed fancy drinks in our best goblets , and I rented a movie and two discs of " How I Met Your Mother . " I didn 't even have to agree with anyone on what I rented . Then I stayed up till 2 pampering myself in front of the TV . It was AWESOME . On Friday , Neen went to Canmore , and I stayed cause I had plans with a friend . Those plans fell through . Looking around me , I tried to get enthused about another night alone . The only problem was , I 'd done all the exciting things I wanted to the night before . And , my sister had taken the car , so I was trapped in my suburbia neighbourhood . I ate leftovers and went to bed really early . Saturday I woke up early with a groan . My family was not due back until late afternoon . With nothing better to do , I spentPosted by Once upon a time there was a sandwich . His name was Reese , because he was made up of creamy peanut butter , and nutella . The children all loved Reese , to the point that everyday at lunch time , the children would beg their nanny if they could eat him . Oh how those children loved that sandwich . With his 60 % whole wheat bread , and his overly sweet mixture of peanut butter and nutella . The inside of Reese was the greatest , and the children would sometimes scrape out his insides and eat it alone when the nanny wasn 't looking . Or at least , when they thought she wasn 't . Reese loved the children , and he wished that they would eat him everyday . Every afternoon he would wave his nutella - ness temptingly in the nanny 's face , willing her to spread him all over 60 % whole wheat bread . But the nanny was an adult , and therefore a cruel soul . She believed that poor Reese was unhealthy for the children , and instead of letting the children eat Reese everyday , she would make them eat the mean foods such as Carrot , Spaghetti , and Grilled Cheese . Reese wept as he watched his dear friends suffer through lunch with his arch nemesis , the Carrot . He cringed in horror while the nanny insisted that the boys finish all of Chicken Noodle Soup , but when the nanny made Whole Wheat Pasta , Reese knew that something must be done . It was too much . Reese could not allow his poor friends to suffer in silence . One lone night as he sat in his dark cupboard , he began to formulate a plan . The next morning , when the nanny opened the cupboards in search of more nasty , healthy foods , the nutella sprung out at her , falling with a thud on the counter . The 60 % whole wheat bread was placed strategically on the counter , and the creamy peanut butter was in plain sight . All the nanny had to do was put the three together , and Reese could be with his friends again . To add to his plan , he even had one of his friends ask in their most adorable voice , " Can we have Reese for lunch today ? " But try as Reese and his friends might , the nanny was a coldhearted adult , and ignoring Posted by I 'm a nanny . I get paid to play . Play , break up fights and force stubborn children to eat their vegetables . Like any job , mine has it 's trying moments . I scrub away explosions of fingerpaint , I ward off vicious cats , I deal with tantrums , I monitor computer time , and create an endless list of activities to fill the day , but the truly interesting thing about kids is how easily entertained they can be . Yesterday I took the boys to Bowness Park , and they threw rocks in the river for hours . Give the boys a ball and a bat and they will invent their own version of two - man baseball , which usually involves getting very dirty . I have discovered that in light of these kids creativity and ability to be so easily entertained , there are typically several hours in my work day when I have nothing to do . After my first day of suppressed boredom , I concluded that it would be best to bring a book to work . I am a self - proclaimed bookworm , and I usually have book going . I would say that I 'm a regular reader . This summer , my intake of books has skyrocketed . In the endless hours I spend sitting by the river , with nothing to do but keep a watchful eye on my charges , I am usually going through a book in about a day and a half . For lack of anything better to say , here is a list of just some of the books I 've consumed in the past weeks : Boy ; Tales of Childhood by Roald Dahl - I first brought this book with the possibility of reading it to the boys , but I think their attention spans are a little short . In the end , I read it myself to kickstart my reading frenzy . For anyone who is interested or cares , I strongly recommend it . The Chronicles of Narnia by C . S . Lewis - For lack of anything better o read at the time , I reread my all - time favourites . C . S . Lewis is a genius . I 'll never tire of these books . The Giver by Lois Lowry - I read this in about half a day . We were at Bowness Park . I first read it in grade 5 , and I still cry every time . NOTE : For anyone who 's read it , Jonas does NOT find another community at the end , he definitely dies . ( Sorry , Posted by Some of you may be wondering about my username . Why on earth would I name myself the Queen of the Pie Realm ? Granted , I have already declared myself to be a lover of pie , but what really makes me the queen ? I crowned myself , or at least , me and my friend Kylie . When my unhealthy infatuation with pie reached it 's pinnacle , ( about grade 11 ) Kylie and I proclaimed ourselves the queens of our favourite desserts . She is Queen of the Ice Cream Realm , and I am of course , Queen of the Pie Realm . The monarchy of desserts spread after a debate between my sister I over the merits of cake vs . pie . The argument was unresolved , but the one conclusion we did reach was that Janine , will hereby be known as the Queen of the Cake Realm . Tonight my friend Becky had myself , Kylie , and Janine over for dessert . She had made the most amazing fudge sauce I had ever tasted , and the plan was that we would eat it with vanilla ice cream and various other sweet delicacies . Upon our arrival however , Becky tempted me with a piece of pumpkin pie . Her aunt had given her two pieces , one for her and one for her husband , and Becky does not like pie , so she offered it to me . Then she led us all to her dessert bar . Our jaws dropped and a spot of drool may have landed on the kitchen floor . To accompany our ice cream , or pie , Becky had provided us with everything you could ever want to decorate your dessert . The famous fudge sauce , carmel sauce , smarties , rees 's pieces ( which surprisingly taste quite good on pumpkin pie ) cool whip , coconut , pineapples , little crunched up bits of toffee , EVERYTHING . Quite by accident , I gushed ; " Becky , you are the queen of desserts . " I caught Kylie 's eye , and we both squealed in excitement . Right then and there we crowned Becky the Empress over all Desserts . So there it stands ; the Dessert Monarchy . NOTE : Please notice that the Dessert Monarchy is entirely made up of women . Today I received an unexpected day off . When my nanny mom gave me my schedule for the month , she marked off this day , Monday August 6 , as a holiday . " A holiday ? " I thought to myself . " What holiday can this be ? " I racked my brains and could think of no significant national or religious events occurring , so I finally consulted the master of all holidays ; my calendar . " Heritage Day ? " I thought to myself , when I saw the name emblazoned in the little square . " What on earth is that ? " I am told by those who know , ( or at least claim to ) that Heritage Day is a day to reflect on your personal history , and celebrate where you come from . Now that I hear it , it does sound like a good idea for a holiday , but let me ask you this , does anyone care ? I 'm guessing most people , like me instantly jumped for joy at the thought of a day off , and then looked around and said , " Wait a minute , what is it for ? " So really , the purpose of Heritage Day is to give us a day off . The personal history stuff is just an excuse so we can all sleep in , or go golfing . I recently reread the book , " The Giver , " by Lois Lowry . For those who haven 't read it , it 's a book abut the future , where everything has gone to " Sameness . " There are no different races , no religions , no war , and people are brought up in a strict community where they don 't choose their own jobs , their own spouses , or really , anything . It 's a good book , I recommend it to everyone , but my point is , at one part of the book there is an announcement given to the community that today is a holiday . There is no reason for the holiday , everyone in the community just gets a day off . No one questions it , no one wonders , " Hey , why don 't we have to go to work today ? " They just , accept . Actually they do that with everything in the book , but anyways , this spontaneous hloiday in " The Giver , " is about the same as Heritage Day ; there 's no real point then to give us all a break . With that in mind ; " Happy Heritage Day to all and to all a good golf game . " My nanny children are obsessed . Dinosaurs are their livlihood . Everyday , immediately after they wake up , the very first thing they do is run to their toy bins and dig out their endless supply of plastic dinosaurs . When I finally get them dressed in their dinosaur t - shirts , they return immediately to the living room , where they engage in their daily routine of setting up a prehistoric park on the couches and the dining room table . After lunch , when I manage to drag them outside , they don their dinosaur hats and go on a dinosaur safari in the backyard or park . A fine madness , to be sure , dinosaurs are a very interesting subject , but the thing that startles me the most is how much a six and three year old can know about dinosaurs . Before I began this job , my experience with dinosaurs was limited to a childhood viewing of The Land Before Time , and a few odd adventures in the prehistoric park at the Calgary Zoo - where we are usually more interested in climbing on the rocks and dinosaur statues . My only other encounter into the realm of dinosaurs is the dinosaur part of Fantasia , which I actually find depressing , cause I feel sorry for the Stegosaurus . Yet even with this limited experience , I considered myself to know a fair amount about dinosaurs . I mean , I could identify the type of dinosaur that was placed on my ankle in the form of a stick on tatoo at a Stampede breakfast . And I can spell the word , Pterodactyl . So when my nanny children first asked me if they could give me a " tour " of their dinosaur zoo , I had a rough idea of what I was in for . Or , so I thought . " This is a Maiasauras , he is a plant eater , the average Maiasasuras was about twice as tall as a grown up . " My nanny children prattle on . " How interesting , " I think to myself . " I always called that kind of dinosaur - Ducky . I believe I had the jello mould of her . " " This is the raptor section . " Announces my nanny child , " We have a Utahraptor , Velociraptor . . . . . " " There 's more than one kind of raptor ? ! " I think in astonishment . Then again , the only type I know oPosted by Bannister Sliding - a fine past time of many a young child , including myself until about the age of twelve . When I was younger , it just seemed to make sense that you never walk down the stairs if you can help it . Whenever possible , you slide down the bannister . Almost every morning , when my parents woke me up at some insanely early hour to read scriptures before my sisters went to seminary , I would slide down the bannister , even in my groggy state . I remember always being a trifle disappointed around Christmas time , when my Mom would always put bows on the bannister and thus prohibit me from sliding . That disapointment was short lived , but I was always excted to return to sliding when the boughs were removed in January . I also learned at a young age that there are some bannisters which cannot be slid down . Namely , bannisters attached to walls . When I was about 6 or 7 , I was at a friends house when I decided to slide down her bannister . This was indeed a bannister very close to the wall . But I was young and naive , and I truly believed that I would be able to slide through this narrow gap . Afterall , I did have fairly skinny legs back then . As to be expected , I didn 't make it very far . I 'd barely began to slide whe I got stuck , and my friend 's parents had to unwedge a tearful little girl from their wall . Of course along with the bad bannisters , there is always the good ones . The truly amazing ones are the kind that are log and curve around a huge atrium . This was the kind of bannister at my cousins house . As little kids , my cousin Rachel and I would slide down that bannister again and again . We were devastated when that house came into the possesssion of another aunt and uncle who did not allow us to slide down that magnificent bannister . So anyway , my point about bannister sliding ( cause you 're probably wondering what is even the point to this blog ) is this ; today at work my nanny children were showing off a few " tricks " they could do using the bannister and the wall . They have one of those infuriating bannisters thatPosted by The family I work for are pet people , to say the least . The interesting thing though about these so called pets , is that they are both the most unlikely animals you would expect a family with small children to have . First off , there is Bear . Bear is the Smith 's dog . They could not have picked a better name for this dog , as Bear is exactly what this dog looks like . I am not sure if Bear is a girl or a boy , as I have heard Bear called both him and her . So I call Bear " it . " It is a big dog , taller than the younger boy , and the same height as the older . Like I said before , Bear is not a dog , it is a bear pretending to be a dog . Bear is huge and black and hairy , and it always comes barrelling down the hallway at such a terrific speed that I have to yank my nanny children out of harms way before they 're trampled . I like to keep Bear outside , if only for my personnal safety , but with this heat , there is only so long one can keep a giant , long haired black dog in the yard . This morning , I arrived at work to be greeted with bad news from my employers : Bear was missing . Somehow , during the night , Bear had wandered off and was nowhere to be found . My guess is that it just charged down the gate . Anyway , my employers told me to maybe make missing posters with the boys and post them around the neighbourhood . Before the boys could even finish their breakfast , I got a call from the Smith 's neighbours , saying that they had Bear , and we could come and pick it up . I was astonished by the complete amiable tone taken on by this neighbour . The way he was describing Bear , you 'd think we was talking about a newborn puppy , not a , bear . I went to this neighbours house wondering if we were in fact , talking about the same dog , and sure enough , this " lovable , docile " dog was Bear . My employers were overjoyed to find Bear , but baffled as to how thier neighbours , who , incidently , they 've never met , had recognized Bear as theirs . Again , I had my own explanation in my head . I mean , if you saw someone periodically walking down your street with a bePosted by Most people who know me , understand how I feel about the Harry Potter books . And in case you care , or are just bored enough to take the time , my rant on how stupid it the books are is explained , in full , on my facebook . So I shan 't rant about that now . For the information of those who would try to make me think otherwise , or for those who actually care , I AM NOT READING THE SEVENTH BOOK ! And I 'm not seeing the movie either . On the 21st of July I will be venturing beyond my couch , and I will not pull an all nighter the day before to find out how many people have died . My only relation to that book will be bugging my HP fan friends just to distrupt them . ( Well , actually , on the 21st I 'll probably be moving boxes . What else do I do right now ? ) But back to the point , Elena will never , ever read Harry Potter again , and so stop trying to dissuade her . As for my primary opponent in the fight against the accursed books , Mr . Trever Walton . ( looks mischievious and drums together fingers evily ) I look forward to when YOU finish the book , which will probably be at 3 in the morning . Then we can again discuss the " merits " and atrocities of this series in full force . In light of the fact that we are moving in less then a week , our days have become full of odd little fix it jobs and minute details to finish off our new house . You would not believe all the details and decisions that go into building a house . Sheesh . But anyways , to save themselves from paying the home building company another ghastly sum , my parents hired me to paint sealer on all the grouting in our house . FYI - grouting is the cementlike stuff between tiles . This means that I must take a tiny paint brush and paint delicate lines between each and every tile found in our house . I am now in a love - hate relationship with tile . Here is what I have discovered in today 's galavantings as a grout painter : 1 . The saying " Don 't paint yourself into a corner " actually has some merit . Especially when it is a small enclosed space like your parents shower where you have to curl up in a smaller and smaller ball until you 're so compact you could be slipped in a handbag . 2 . Tile on the ceiling , is never a good idea . 3 . The fancy kind of tile , that is neither symetrical or lines up , is hazardous to your health . 4 . The sides of the bath tub are not a good place to stand when you are reaching up to the tiles beyond your reach behind said tub . 5 . A full wall of tile behind a stove is inefficient for a weak grout painter such as myself . 6 . Leaving an open bottle of sticky , smelly grout sealer near your wandering feet is bad hygeine . 7 . Fancy cupboards that have details on the bottom and yet still have tiles underneath is not a wise use of space and / or labour . 8 . 793 songs is not sufficient entertainment for seven hours of tile painting . 9 . If at all possible , when building a house , use a minimal amount of tile , because - 10 . Afer a full day of craning my neck and painting diminutive surfaces , I still have to go back tomorrow and do it all again as a second coat . Fun , fun in the world of grouting ! " The more I know , the better a wife I " ll be . " These words of wisdom from my Grannie were ringing through my head all this week while my mom was in Edmonton with my new nephew . In her absence , and bearing in mind that my more able - bodied sister Janine was working , I was given the assignment of supper - cooker during her absence . I think my mom has been waiting for this moment here whole life . Make Elena the chef so she can learn to make more than spagetti . First night of my temporary culinary duties , guess what I made ? That 's right , spagetti . Next night , imagine what this culinary genius pulled out of the freezer . Why yes , frozen pizza it was . You see , when you compare Neen and I 's substitute chef stints , they are drastically different . Neen will pull out her archives of Martha Stuarts and concuct an original dish we 've never had before , one that you 'd rather take pictures of than eat . When I cook , it 's more of a , rummage through the deep freeze and make something easy we eat all the time . Even so , last night , my last night to prove my chef - like abilites , after fruitless rummaging ( I 'd already used everything intersting in the freezer ) I gingerly picked up Neen 's copy of Martha Stuart Everyday Foods and nervously began skimming recipes . At fist glance I was overcome with despair . Grilled Vegetable Tostadas ? What is that ? Cream of Asparagus Soup ? How could you make that in less than 48 hours ? I put the cookbook down and looked at our peanut butter and jelly supplies . Yet , knowing that my dad would never eat just a sandwich for dinner , I gave Martha Stuart a skeptical second glance . At last I came across a recipe where I knew what all the ingredients were , and sounded feasible - pasta with pesto , potatoes , and green beans . We had pesto in the fridge , and how easy is it to boil a bunch of stuff in a pot . I felt so proud of myself . I only wish someone could of seen me , running around the kitchen chopping , stirring , and wishing things would boil a lot faster . The end results were , alright . Not fantastic , and it looked nothiPosted by I 'm not normally a big Stampede goer , it 's too expensive and you always roast alive there . One thing I will always love about the Stampede season though , is the breakfasts . I just love being able to drive around and get a free pancake breakfast at various parking lots . Honestly , if you really wanted to , you could not pay for a single meal all through Stampede . All you have to do is find a breakfast every morning , and stuff yourself to the point that you do not want to eat anymore for the rest of the day . Granted , you 'll probably never want to look at pancakes again , but it is a possibility . This morning we went to the breakfast at my dad 's office area . Neen and I enjoyed stuffing ourselves full of sausage patties , getting dinosaur tatoos , and stickers and suckers from kid 's help phone . I mean , between the breakfast and all the free stuff , why wouldn 't you go to as many Stampede breakfasts as you possibly could ? For someone as cheap as me , it 's the greatest thing since sliced bread ; free breakfast and dinosaur tatoos . In the early evening I was sitting at this very computer , minding my own business , when who should swoop down but my darling older sister , Janine . " Dearest sister , " she entreats me , " Come for a run with me . " I refuse . I am not a runner . Though I have nothing against the exercise in general , I am no a go - out - for - a - run type person . Yet the persistence and persuasive attitude of my sister convinces me again , and before I know it , I 'm running down the " ravine " by our house . Trying to maintain a civilized conversation becomes possible , and Janine 's long legs constantly remain one pace ahead of me . Finally , I state in frustration , ( state , not shout , I kept my red head temper in check ) " Janine , I am not a runner ! " My super athletic , runner - type sister then suggests that I speed walk , and she runs back and forth to not get ahead of me . This is even stranger , as I start to feel like a Mommy with an anxious toddler . A toddler who is 6 ' 1 " and surpasses me in intelligance and physical ability . Finally we reach a neighbourhood playground , where my anxious toddler insists on playing . Only her idea of play is pushups , suspended crunchies , and chinups . This is more my kind of thing , so I am content . Minus the chinups , where I get so excited I conk my head on the monkey bar playing the role of our chin up bar . At this point , we head home , walking briskly . Upon reaching home , we set up yoga camp in the basement and Neen spends her time teaching Peter how to stretch properly , and I , completely in my element , experiment with various methods of standing on my head . It 's strange , that running is such an , unfun activity for me . I consider myself to be a moderately athletic person . Give me a frisbee and a field and I 'll run for over an hour , but just plain , running down the sidewalk with no objective , nothing to focus on , and no one but a single running partner , drives my crazy . How strange , that the same activity can be so enjoyable , and so maddening in two different circumstances . This morning at 8 : 15 , ( or close to that time ) I became an aunt , again . My sister Katey had her second baby boy , Brigham David Thompson . I 'm very excited , and slightly disappointed at the same time . Disappointed that she didn 't have her baby while I was in Edmonton this week , I just left yesterday . Sheesh . I guess I 'll have to go back . Anyway , it 's quite exciting , I now have 4 nephews and 1 neice , who thankfully is the oldest so she commands the troops of younger boy cousins . Although , we are in desperate need of another girl in this generation of the family . Even my cousins , are all having boys . I guess we maxed out our limit on girls in the previous generation , especially my family . Poor Ivy . As a right of passage in the Young family , all granddaughters must learn to quilt . Because , as grannie herself says , " Thr more you know how to do , the better a homemaker you 'll be . " So two summers ago , Mikyla and I went to Grannie 's house and recieved the lesson , Quilting 101 . Every week that whole summer we 'd go over , making quilt blocks out of fabric that has been used in everything Grannie 's ever made , and listening to CBC . Two years later I have 39 blocks , and am so close to being done it 's exhilarating . And yes , and took me two years to get this far , when Grannie can make a quilt in a few weeks . My only excuse is she had to move to Edmonton so I wasn 't able to quilt as often . And hey , I 'm only learning my homemaking skills . I may be allowed in relief Society yet . Okay so , I 'm here , I got a blog , I hope you 're all happy . Facebook just wasn 't cutting it , obviously . So , I 'm at my grandparents right now . Visiting , quilting , and enjoying the comforts that only Grannie 's house can provide . I find that the homes of both my grandparents are two of my favourite places in the world . I think it 's just the sense of continuity you get when here . It 's like , in a world that 's so fast paced , and always constantly changing , grandparents homes are the safe haven . Grannie and grandpa Young 's is always full of homemade quilts to curl up in , and rhubarb anything . Grandma and Grandpa Redd 's is always the same old house with grandma sitting in the front room . And you always eat Grandpa 's chicken sandwiches with grapes , and cooked carrots . And then you have peach milkshakes . I just love the the continuity . In a world that 's always a big confusing mess , grandparents homes are a secure , constant shelter . When I need to get away from the world , I run away to grandma 's or grannie 's house .
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Five people are stuck in an elevator . A police detective on the case must hurry to get them out , because one of the people is the devil . Yup . The movie is written ( but not directed ) by M . Night Shyamalan . It definitely shows . Full disclosure : I do like many of his movies , including some that were panned by critics . But it drives me nuts that he always needs to have this huge twist close to the end . The twist was really well done in " The Sixth Sense " but felt a little strained in some of his other movies . The first element is the " red herring " : I would imagine most people have heard this term . It is an element of the story that seems to be crucial and allows the characters ( and audience ) to solve the mystery , when it is actually simply a distraction from the real truth . In some cases , it is the opposite of what is actually true . In others , it is simply another potential version of the truth that turns out to be incorrect . The point is that the red herrings are meant to distract you , not only from the actual truth , but from Shyamalan 's other favorite tool : Chekhov 's gun . Anton Chekhov was a writer of both short stories and plays , though he was also a physician . His comment on this dual life was that " Medicine is my lawful wife and literature is my mistress . " He first starting writing as a way to make money , but then began to enjoy it and started honing his craft . One of his many contributions to literature is what has become known as Chekhov 's gun . Chekhov did not believe in unnecessary details . He felt that any information given in a story , or any prop on the stage of a play , should be essential to the story . His example was that if the writer describes a shotgun hanging above the fireplace ( or if a loaded gun is on stage during a play ) , someone had better fire that gun in the story . If the gun will never be used , there is no point in taking the time to describe it ( or show it ) to the reader ( or audience ) . Despite knowing what tricks Shyamalan had up his sleeve , I 'll admit that I actually did enjoy " Devil " . I 'm not sure if I 'd truly consider it a horror movie , though I can see why it was classified that way . There are a few points in the story where the movie tries to be scary ( and sometimes , it is effective ) . But I 'd consider this movie to be a mystery - thriller with supernatural elements . This movie is a prime example of the blood and gore subgenre of horror : constant bleeding , oozing , dismembering , and disintegrating . Though there are funny moments in the movie , I think Sam Raimi was attempting to make a legitimately scary independent film . Of course , after making this movie , he obviously figured out the concept could be better if they added humor and got rid of Bruce Campbell 's unibrow . On the recording , they learn that the strange book is apparently bound in human flesh and inked in human blood , and that it apparently has the power to raise demons . Ash 's sister gets pissed off and doesn 't want to listen anymore . But the male member of couple 2 , who also enjoys scaring people and pointing guns at them for fun , decides to skip over all the exposition and go straight to the demon - raising . Ash 's sister stomps off to her room , couple 2 goes to their room , where they seem to spend the whole time just getting undressed by the window , and Ash & Linda have some cute exchanges over a necklace Ash bought for Linda . But the action picks up again when Ash 's sister decides to investigate a strange noise outside - because it 's a horror movie , and that 's what people do in horror movies - and instead gets attacked and assaulted by the trees . Yes , that kind of assaulted . That scene in particular is probably what resulted in this movie getting banned in multiple countries . Of course , it could have been the aforementioned dismemberment . Ash 's sister decides it 's time to leave , but she and Ash discover that the bridge ( the only way to and from the cabin ) has been destroyed . They 're stuck there for the night , and that 's when the real fun begins . I have two complaints about the film ( and don 't get me wrong , I do enjoy this movie , but not as much as Evil Dead 2 ) : 1 . In many shots , the camera is obviously in someone 's hand , because it 's shaky - not Blair Witch Project shaky , but enough to be distracting . 2 . There 's not a lot of story beyond group of kids , book , recording , crazy sh * t happens . Evil Dead 2 doesn 't have either of these issues - look for a blog post about Evil Dead 2 in the near future . I don 't think I would ever be able to pick a favorite horror movie , but I could probably make a top 5 list . And among those 5 would be The Thing . I can seriously watch this movie again and again . The film begins with a spaceship crashing to Earth . Next , we see Antarctica 1982 , and a lone dog running across the snow , a helicopter chasing it . The dog happens upon a US research station and seeks refuge among the people there , but the two men in the helicopter seem to want nothing more than the dog dead , even firing at it while a group of US workers are standing around . One man blows himself up while attempting to throw a grenade . The other one accidentally shoots one of the men in the group , and another man from the US group shoots and kills the shooter . With two dead Norwegians on their hands , Doctor Copper decides to do some investigating to determine what caused these men to go crazy . He asks MacReady , helicopter pilot and most - trusted man in the whole group , to fly him to the Norwegian base . In the meantime , Clark , the resident dog lover welcomes the dog in , allowing it to wander around for much of the day . At the Norwegian camp , they find the rest of the Norwegians dead , some of which appear self - inflicted , and a body that appears human , except for the fact it has two heads . The great thing about the movie is that , while the monster is important , what is more interesting is how quickly the characters begin to question and distrust each other . And the viewer goes through the same thing . Who is a " thing " and who is real ? The movie doesn 't bother giving a lot of background on the group , other than establishing basic personalities and some job titles of the characters . Mac , Copper , and Clark have already been mentioned above . Other than them , we have : Honestly , I don 't think we ever learn what research they 're doing , or what they spend their day doing besides drinking , getting high , and watching reruns of gameshows . But somehow , the movie works and the only thing you wonder while watching is what the heck is going to happen next . In fact , without knowing a lot about the characters , it makes it harder for you to figure out who is a " thing " and who is not . You have no basis for comparison , no past experience with their behavior to determine what is normal for that character . Next on my list : Re - Animator . One of the things I like about this movie is the cold open - it jumps right into the action . This tactic has been used in other horror movies and was perhaps most clearly spoofed in the opening for Ghostbusters . Dr . Gruber , an imminent researcher in brain death , is heard screaming in his office . When the police burst in , they find Dr . Gruber dying violently on the ground , as a young man in glasses hunches over him with a syringe . Dr . Gruber 's eyeballs explode and he dies , but the young man insists that he didn 't kill Dr . Gruber : Flash to a young med student , Dan Cain , doing compressions on a woman in the ER . The doctor overseeing the case decides to use the defibrillator , which is unsuccessful at reviving the woman . As Dan tries to continue doing compressions , the doctor chastises the young man for not knowing when to give up , which " any good doctor should know . " BTW , any good doctor would also know that you don 't defibrillate someone in flat - line ( or what the dumbass doc calls " straight line " ) . As punishment for caring too much , Dan is told to take the woman down to the morgue . There , we observe Dan get a little jumpy around the dead bodies , and we once again see the young man from the first scene - who is introduced as Mr . Herbert West , a new 3rd year student . He speaks with a faux accent and calls another brain researcher , Dr . Carl Hill , a plagiarist . Nice guy . Dan , who is not only a talented student , has also made the dean of the med school ( Dean Halsey ) like him , despite the fact that Dan is banging the dean 's daughter , Megan . Herbert interrupts their post - coital shenanigans to inquire about Dan 's need for a roommate . Though Megan immediately takes a disliking to Herbert , Dan accepts Herbert 's wad of cash and welcomes him . Later , we see that Dr . Hill is about as creepy as Herbert , except the object of his creepiness is Megan . Megan runs off for a " study date " with Dan and during said date , they discover Dan 's beloved cat , Rufus , dead in Herbert 's fridge . Herbert blackmails Dan into dropping it by threatening to tell the dean that Dan and Megan are sleeping together . Um , I think the dean kind of already knows , but apparently that worked . The experiment is a success , but the elixir turns the body into the Incredible Hulk , who attacks and kills Dean Halsey . Herbert decides that the body they used was dead too long and that they should use the elixir on a fresh body : Dean Halsey . Dean Halsey awakens , a little less hulk - y than the other guy , but still unable to speak and pretty pissed off . In a textbook case of medical conflict of interest , Dr . Hill takes Dean Halsey into his care , forces Megan to sign a consent form for exploratory brain surgery on the dean , and also tells her he is there if she 's ever feeling horny … er , lonely . ' scuse me . But Hill once again gets the better of Herbert , by directing his body ( somehow ) to knock Herbert out , and steal Herbert 's notes and serum . Meanwhile , Dan discovers Hill 's creep file on Meg , which consists of newspaper clippings , photos , and a lock of her hair . I don 't even want to know how he got that last one . Somehow , Hill is a perfect reanimation , despite the disconnect between his head and body . ( Apparently decapitation was the missing ingredient . ) Not a speechless hulk , he can speak ( hiss is probably more accurate a word ) , coach his brainless / earless body to perform tasks , and control Dean Halsey into kidnapping Meg and bringing her to the morgue . Because , apparently that 's where sick MDs like get to lucky . When Herbert comes in to stop Hill , and Dan sneaks in to rescue Meg , Hill unleashes his own undead army of reanimated and lobotomized corpses . Hilarity ensues . No really . If this movie were to create a new genre of horror , it would probably be called zombie slapstick . My favorite would have to be when Hill 's intestine decides to strangle Herbert . Dean Halsey sacrifices himself to help Dan and Meg escape , but Meg is strangled in the elevator by one of the reanimated corpses . Dan tries to save her with CPR , then carries her to the ER , where they try to bring her back to no avail . No wonder there is an army 's worth of bodies in the morgue - the doctors in this hospital apparently suck as reviving people . What , they never heard of intubation ? So the movie is definitely ridiculous , but totally entertaining . The score is pretty good , especially for a horror movie . If you enjoy horror movies with equal parts comedy , you 'll definitely want to put Re - Animator on your list . Next in my month of horror movies : The Shining . Another great horror movie . I 've been a big fan of Stephen King since I was kid , and have read many of his books , including The Shining . I know that King was not a huge fan of what Stanley Kubrick did with this movie , because he felt it changed some of the messages of the book . King felt the movie downplayed the influence of the supernatural and the dark forces in the hotel , instead placing the motivation toward evil and violent actions within the main character , Jack Torrance . In fact , he thought casting Jack Nicholson was a bad move , because it clued viewers in that Jack was going to go mad at some point in the movie . The film begins with Jack interviewing for a job as winter caretaker at the Overlook , an ornate hotel placed in a secluded , beautiful area of the Rocky Mountains . The general manager explains that the hotel closes during the winter months because of the brutal snow that makes the mountain roads impassable and difficult to keep clean . As a result , the hotel hires a caretaker to stay in the hotel during winter months to keep the boiler running , do routine maintenance , and generally look after the hotel and grounds . Jack also learns that a previous caretaker lost his mind and murdered his wife and two daughters , before killing himself . Cozy . So maybe babysitting ghosts is part of the caretaker 's job . . . We then meet Wendy , Jack 's wife , and Danny , their son , as well as Danny 's " imaginary " friend Tony . Why do I put imaginary in quotes ? Well , I 'll get to that later . This was actually the first time I 've noticed that Wendy is reading " The Catcher in the Rye " during this scene . Danny , or more specifically Tony , tells Wendy that he doesn 't want to go to the Overlook , but refuses to say why . We also learn that Danny has no friends his age where they live - since they only moved there 3 weeks ago - so it doesn 't seem to be the social isolation of the Overlook that has him concerned . Tony - correctly - informs Danny that Jack has gotten the job and that they will be going to the Overlook soon . A terrifying vision of blood rushing out of the elevators at the Overlook sends Danny into shock , and Wendy calls in a doctor to check him out . The doctor examines Danny and , finding no real problems , tells Wendy that Danny should be fine . She asks Wendy for more details about Danny 's history , and learns that Jack , a recovering alcoholic , once dislocated Danny 's shoulder while drunk . Hmmm , wonder if Wendy mentioned she and Danny were about to spend several months in a hotel with Jack , and little to no contact with the outside world . But hey , what could possibly go wrong ? The family heads up to the hotel , where they receive a tour of the grounds and meet , among others , Dick Hallorann , the head chef . Danny is surprised to learn that Dick also has some psychic abilities . Dick 's grandmother called the gift " shining . " Dick tells Danny that in addition to some people who can " shine , " there are also places that " shine . " Danny asks Dick if there 's anything bad in the hotel , but Dick insists there 's nothing to be worried about . The place isn 't bad - it 's just shiny . Jack and Wendy also learn that the hotel was built on ancient Indian burial ground . Yes , this is one of the more trite portions of the story . But it doesn 't seem that the actions of the previous caretaker are what caused the problems in the hotel , or Danny 's fears . In fact , later events in the story seem to suggest that the darkness at the Overlook is actually what caused the caretaker to go crazy in the first place . Pissed off Native American spirits is the only answer they give to why this place brings out the worst in people . Of course , some of the color combinations might have also set some people off . The hotel clears out , leaving the Torrance family as the only occupants - well , the only living ones anyway . The movie does many things to pull you into the crazy , disorganized world , where days blur into each other . For instance , title cards flash up days of the week : Thursday , Wednesday , etc . , but without any additional context - a month and date , where this particular Wednesday falls from the previous title card and so on . The viewer becomes as confused as the characters in the movie , who don 't have other people or events to help them distinguish one day from the next . Wendy plays with Danny and chats up the local law enforcement on the radio . Danny , when he isn 't playing with Wendy , tools around the hotel in his hot wheels . Jack clicks away at his typewriter , throws balls around , and generally behaves like a douche . On one of Danny 's rides around the hotel , he runs into the two daughters of the previous caretaker . Though he reminds himself that Dick told him these things aren 't real , just echoes of the past , the girls call Danny by name and ask him to come play with them . This is the first indication that the forces in the hotel aren 't just lingering events , but sentient forces that can interact with the world of the living . Just as Danny decides to check out room 237 , Jack begins screaming in his sleep . Though Jack seems already dark and disturbed from the beginning , the dream that he has re - enacted the actions of the previous caretaker seems to truly scare him . He tells Wendy that he feels like he 's losing his mind ; some part of him recognizes that something isn 't right , even if at other times he seems to welcome the darkness of the Overlook . This is ( unfortunately for all involved ) Jack 's last moment of lucidity . Jack returns to the family 's apartment and , rather than fess up to his apparent ' beer goggles , ' he lies and tells Wendy there is no one else in the hotel . Meanwhile , Danny is catatonic , but Jack refuses to explore the option of leaving the hotel to get help . He once again storms off . The one note novel then seems to carry over into the dialogue of the movie , as Danny ceases speaking any dialogue beyond repeatedly requesting Bacardi and Grenadine . Or maybe he was talking about something else ? After all , he 's way too young to drink . He literally has to spell it out for Wendy ( and the viewer ) before we realize that Danny is actually talking about murder . Dick Hallorann , who feels Danny 's fragile state all the way from Miami , catches a flight back to Denver , and drives up to the Overlook to check things out , where things don 't turn out so well for him . Poor Dick . He 's got enough shine for him to feel the darkness of the Overlook from Miami Beach , but not enough to see a wounded Jack hiding with an axe 5 feet away . If shining were my gift , I 'd return it . It seems to cause a lot of trouble . It seems the final message of the film is that the Overlook attracts the darkest , most disturbed personalities , and helps push them to do the evil actions already lurking within them . It then swallows the dark person whole , making them part of the place forever - even going so far as to rewrite history to make them a fixture of the hotel . The film ends by zooming in on a picture of Jack at a party , dated in the 1920s . The question I 've always had about the movie is : Who is Tony ? Is he a side of Danny 's personality , a dissociative identity Danny created to protect himself from things that would be painful or dangerous ? Is he a spirit or some other supernatural being that uses Danny 's " shining " ability to interact with him ? I 'm guessing it would be the former , considering that certain things are hidden from Danny - like Tony 's initial visions of the Overlook . If Danny had his own shining ability , that allowed him to talk to Tony , he wouldn 't need Tony to show him things . Which leads to the bigger question - what dark things has Danny already seen that would spark this psychological division ? This is perhaps the most interesting lingering question ( to me anyway ) . Dissociative identity disorder ( what has been in the past known as multiple personalities or split personality ) generally occurs among people who have experienced extreme , and repeated , trauma . When the traumatic event occurs , they dissociate - they pretend they are someone else , or that they are simply watching something happen without experiencing it - as a defense mechanism . This becomes a learned behavior so that over time , the response gets faster and more automatic at the sign of any potential trauma . Maybe the actions of his drunk father brought it on ? Perhaps the dislocated shoulder wasn 't the only incident . Or maybe Danny saw many other terrible things with his shining . I 'll be honest - I really like the movie , though I think the acting is pretty crappy at times . What makes the movie so good is the compelling story and the legit creep factor of many of these scenes . And a few WTF scenes thrown in for good measure . And with that , I give you this picture again . As I 've said before ( and here too ) , I love horror movies . So I 've decided this October to spend my month watching horror movies in my spare time . I 'll be honest - this probably won 't be a horror movie a day , but it should add up to a lot of horror movies by October 31st . But why not spread the love around and blog about it ? According to Gestalt psychologists , we look for order and patterns , even in chaos . Perhaps this is why we have so many horror movies that use white noise and TV static . The static forms the basis of the ghostly visits , and also provides a venue for Carol Anne to speak to her family after she 's been taken . But I 'm getting ahead of myself . Wacky hijinks with beer cans and children 's bikes , and fun with remotes show the normalcy - even mundaneness - of the family . In the meantime , the children get a lesson in life and death , when their bird Tweety dies , and they bury ( him ? Her ? ) in the yard . Carol Anne seems to be the only one genuinely upset about the ordeal , but quickly perks up when she asks for ( and receives ) a couple of goldfish . Still , it may be Carol Anne 's sympathetic nature that first drew the spirits toward her . We also learn about Robbie 's fear of thunderstorms , the creepy tree outside , and the even more creepy clown doll . The next morning , Robbie 's milk glass suddenly bursts and his silverware bends on its own . The family dog engages in an early canine form of TV people worship - perhaps the TV people are televangelists ? And chairs move on their own . The scares progress quickly after that . The creepy tree attacks Robbie , and while the rest of the family ( minus Carol Anne ) try to rescue him in the midst of a thunderstorm and black tornado , the spirits pull Carol Anne into the closet , where a bright light appears . The black tornado gobbles up the tree - which leaves me wondering , is the tornado part of the spirits ' manifestations ? Something else ? It kind of helped out the family , after all . The focus of the movie then becomes getting Carol Anne back . Steven goes to the local university to enlist the help of a parapsychologist ( Dr . Lesh ) and two other experts ( Ryan and Marty ) in … something , not sure what . But hey , they seem to know what they 're doing . The spirits also trick Marty into believing he has ripped half his face off . That was far less helpful , as Marty refuses to return . The plot thickens as we see 1 ) a bunch of ghostly men and women parading through the living room , 2 ) Dr . Lesh tells Diane she 'll be back with some help , and 3 ) Steven 's boss shares that they 're moving a cemetery for the next division of homes and that they 've done it before , down in the valley . Hmmm , that might be important information . We also learn that Carol Anne was born in the house . Unfortunately , she apparently didn 't share her whole plan with Steven . When Diane had gone into the light to get Carol Anne , and Tangina started telling the spirits to go into the light , he freaks out that she 's sending his loved ones into the light and tries to pull them out . And that 's when he gets a visit from a giant head . Not Wizard of Oz head , more like face of a half - decayed demon skeleton head thing . What , you want a picture ? Fine , here . But things turn out okay as Diane and Carol Anne fall from the living room ceiling . The family is whole again , Tangina declares the house clean , and everyone is happy . Except the family decides to move out and Steven tells his boss to go to hell . Little did any of them know that Tangina didn 't quite clean the house , because the scary beast guy is still there , and he 's pissed . Oh yeah , and we learn the real kicker of the story - when they " moved " the cemetery , they only moved the headstones . The bodies remained . Hmmm , wouldn 't they have noticed ( and had to move them ) when digging down the foundation ? But I digress . Despite my jokes , this is one of my favorite movies . I remember being terrified the first time I saw it , and it still creeps me out every once in a while . But I love every minute of it . I just watched a wonderful video that discussed something I 've wondered about before : is my perception of color the same as yours ? As I suspected , the video stated that this is something we will never truly know . Specifically , it is part of the " explanatory gap " - the failure of language and human understanding to adequately communicate to another human what their own perceptions feel like or , in the case of color , look like . We learn color through exposure . No one is able to explain to us in words what " yellow " is ; instead , they have to show us . This school bus is yellow . This pencil is yellow . Over time , we learn how to identify yellow on our own , based on what we have been shown , as well as our ability to generalize learned information to other things . We also learn to discriminate - to learn definitions in such a way that we can say , " This thing is yellow . This thing , on the other hand , is orange . " We can never describe in words how we know this thing is a different color than another , except to say that it looks different . These abilities are one of the reasons that , even a human of low intelligence is smarter than a computer when it comes to detecting context and experiencing things through perception , rather than hard numbers . Which leads me to another story . When I was 8 years old , I began my lifetime struggle with insomnia . At best , I can get 7 or 8 hours a night - if I go to bed really early , and intend on staying in bed for far more than those 7 or 8 hours to make up for the latency in falling asleep and all those times I wake up in the middle of the night . At worst , I get 2 to 4 hours a night . These are the nights I dread . It doesn 't matter how tired I am . It doesn 't matter if I can barely keep my eyes open during the day . I may still find myself exhausted and in bed , but unable to sleep . It 's a difficult thing for people without sleep disturbance to understand . How can one be sleepy , but unable to sleep ? In fact , it isn 't just their inability to feel my feels - I didn 't even know that what I was experiencing was abnormal for a very long time . Our only experience that we can truly know is our own . As the video I linked above says , we are alone in our perception of the world . We can use language and examples to describe our perception to others , but we can never truly know if they feel what we feel . So for the longest time , I thought my sleep was perfectly normal , because I only had my own experience to draw upon . I thought everyone took 30 - 60 minutes to fall asleep . And I thought everyone woke up multiple times in the middle of the night . I remember one time in high school , when I was sick , that I actually slept the whole night through without waking up . I mentioned this to a friend the next day , expecting that they would say , " Yeah , you must have been really sick to be able to sleep that much . " Instead , I got , " What do you mean you wake up multiple times at night ? " Of course I do . Doesn 't everyone ? I was surprised to learn that , no , my sleep was different from others . Still , I didn 't think much of it , until I got to graduate school . As a psychology student , I was taught again and again that the primary determinant of whether any disorder is problematic ( and in need of treatment ) was if it interfered with one 's life . When the stress of grad school caught up with me to the point that I was getting only a couple hours a night , I knew I had a problem . And when I began forgetting things - important things , like class assignments and assistantship duties - I knew I needed to get help . I was 23 or 24 , and for the first time in my life , was finally diagnosed with insomnia . Something I 'd already spent 15 or 16 years of my life battling . There is a clear stigma around mental illness - perhaps less so with regard to sleep disturbance , but the end result is the same . People don 't talk about it . And given that our only experience of the world is our own , we may not know how it feels to be other people because we can 't experience it . Unlike color perception , however , we can use language to describe the experience of feelings : sadness , fatigue , anxiety , euphoria . But we don 't know what others are feeling - truly feeling - unless they tell us . We may not realize that others feel sad for no other reason than they are and that things feel hopeless . We may not realize that others feel anxious about different events . We may not realize that others sometimes want to stop living in this world for any number of reasons - or no reason at all . With the recent news of Robin Williams 's suicide , the world is talking . They 're talking about depression . Suicide . They 're expressing disbelief , or understanding , or fear that it may happen to someone they love . Remember , no one knows what it feels like to be you , unless you tell them . Here 's to keeping the conversation going . You never know what sharing that side of yourself to others may do . It just might save someone 's life . After working on a few things around the house last night , I decided to settle in with a movie as I waited for my husband to come home . I looked through my ( probably ) hundreds of DVDs and Blurays , and just couldn 't find anything I was really dying to watch . Then I remembered that I received the Alien movies in a Bluray box set for Christmas last year . I 'd watched Alien and Aliens not too long ago , so I didn 't feel like watching them again . I occasionally break out Alien 3 just for continuity 's sake ( not a great movie , but watchable ) , but never ventured as far as Alien Resurrection . I actually have only seen Alien Resurrection once - when I saw it at the theater on one of my first ( and only dates ) with my first high school boyfriend . I don 't remember enjoying it very much , and I generally enjoy these types of movies . To paraphrase Ash from the first movie , " I admire their purity . " They are what they are without any pretense . So I decided it was time for another viewing . First off - holy crap , this movie was written by Joss Whedon ? ! How did I never know this before ? ! And the whacky crew of the Betty ? That would be Firefly version 1 . 0 . Seriously . I 'll get back to that later . But here 's more realizations in a sort of play - by - play as I watched the movie . ( Spoilers ahead . ) The scientist performing the surgery at the start of the movie ? That would be Gríma Wormtongue from Lord of the Rings : The Two Towers ( and the extended cut of Return of the King ) . The actor , Brad Dourif , was also Billy Bibbit in One Flew Over the Cuckoo 's Nest and Chucky in the Child 's Play movies . Dude , my Kevin Bacon game just got a lot more formidable . Ripley and Sarah Connor from the Terminator movies are definitely cut from the same cloth . Ripley was arguably a bit tougher at the start of the adventure , but still - these two characters have a similar progression from , " Oh , I guess I have to fight " to " Mess with me , and I 'll bust your kneecaps with my big toe . " The scene where Ripley attacks the scientist while handcuffed reminded me of Sarah 's interactions with her psychiatrist in Terminator 2 . First up , Captain Frank Elgyn , who like Mal is a gun - for - hire . However , whereas Mal is moody but honorable , Elgyn is just sleazy . I don 't think anyone is that upset when he 's killed off . Johner is like a meaner , slightly more violent version of Jayne . The similarity is pretty striking , though . I bet on some distant world , he 's celebrated as a folk hero , with his own statue and theme song . He just needs this hat and he 's there : Finally , Annalee Call ( played by Winona Rider ) is very similar to Kaylee . She 's also the final step of the complementary synth progression process that inverts Ripley 's badass progression . You see , as Ripley gets more and more badass across the movies , the synths get more and more agreeable and weak . Overall , there are definitely some issues with Alien Resurrection , not the least of which is the previously mentioned Bechdel results . It 's kind of surprising to me that Joss wrote this , given some of these issues , like the annoying " Careful " warnings of Wren that are more likely to cause Dr . Gediman to slip and kill both Ripley and the Queen than anything else . Or the triteness of the dialogue from General Perez . Or the stereotypical throw down that results from Johner trying to make the moves on Ripley , that are more a thinly veiled attempt to show her badassedness than a display of true human behavior . To be fair , the concept of writing credit in Hollywood is different from what I tend to deal with in academia - in my field , with some exceptions , the person who does most of the writing gets the most credit ( being listed first ) , and people who do less writing get less credit ( being listed after the first author ) . In Hollywood , the person who gets writing credit may have only done the first draft , which could be substantially rewritten by the time it gets to the final cut . One reason for this exception has to do with writing contracts . Depending on what is in the contract , a rewriter 's only reimbursement for his / her time may be monetary , and he / she may not ever be listed as a writer in the opening credits . While rewrites are presumably to improve a script , they may also reduce the quality ( see the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie as an example ) . So it 's possible that the script Joss gave them is very different from what I watched last night . That being said , the Firefly similarities definitely scream Joss Whedon . The Betty / Serenity crew similarities , the Alien / Reaver similarities , even the message of the film are signature Joss . As I 've discussed before , one big message I saw in Buffy is that the monster is often ourselves . While the Aliens are terrifying bad guys with a mission to destroy other life , the true bad guys of the movie are even worse : As Ripley and the survivors try to escape the ship , they happen upon a room containing previous Ripley clone failures . And when we saw the final Alien queen , capable of giving live birth ( as Dr . Gediman calls , " perfect " ) , we realize that the multiple clone experiments were not to recreate the perfect Ripley , but rather , the perfect Alien . The final ( " successful " ) Ripley clone is merely a side effect of those attempts . Even more , though they did surgically remove the queen from Ripley , allowing her a chance at survival ( and after the revelations I just described , I wonder why they even bothered ) , they certainly did not offer that possibility to the human cargo sold to them by faux Mal . throughout the movie , the real monsters are the people . In fact , even in more pure instances of Whedonverse , the super powered bad guys aren 't the real monsters . The human beings who make the decision to turn to darkness are much more maligned . Ripley 's response when we learn that Call is a synth is probably the most telling : " No human being is that humane . " Ripley , who has witnessed - and been a unwitting victim of - more of the dark side of humanity than anyone else , has no more love for this sorry species . Tom Cruise is newsworthy . Not my most surprising revelation , but hear me out . Apparently , everything he does is newsworthy . That " Tom Cruise picks his nose in public " Twitter account is still waiting for its moment to shine . Perhaps that is why , recently , the world was shocked to discover that Tom Cruise has an asymmetrical face . And people just can 't let it go ( check out # 9 ) . No doubt , countless scholars in the area of psychology and other fields studying physical attractiveness and its impact , had the same reaction as me . " Yes , he does . So do I . So does the person who wrote this article . So do the people reading it . " Researchers in the area of physical attractiveness have found , however , that symmetry is considered attractive to most human beings . So perhaps that is reason that we are shocked to discover that people we consider attractive have " flaws . " Beautiful people tend to have a pretty easy lot in life : they get paid more , they are less likely to be found guilty by criminal juries ( and if they are found guilty , tend to receive lighter punishments ) , and mothers are even more affectionate to attractive babies ( read more here ) . Symmetry is also a sign of good genes , because it means one is less likely to have genetic mutations . You see , symmetry is in essence averageness . In studies where researchers have composited multiple faces together , participants actually rate the composites as more attractive , because these composites average out distinctive features ( a crooked nose , eyes that are slightly different sizes , etc . ) . The truth is , if you scrutinize any face in isolation of other faces , you will find asymmetry . Want some evidence ? Here are pictures of people perceived as being faces of beauty , and rather than just taking in the whole face , start looking at individual features and you 'll see it . ( Disclaimer : I am in no way saying these people are actually unattractive because of this asymmetry , just showing you it is there . ) First up , Cindy Crawford . Ignore the mole on one side ( a pretty obvious instance of asymmetry ) and look at the rest . Notice how her left eye ( the right side looking at this picture ) is slightly higher and larger than her right ? This is very typical - the left side of just about anyone 's face is usually larger . Also notice her face shape is not quite symmetrical ; her left jaw is a bit more square . Ryan Gosling . Notice that his left eye is lower ( actually quite a bit lower ) than his right . His nose is crooked , slanted a bit more to the left . And his face shape is also slightly different on his left side than his right . One more - Marilyn Monroe . I 'll admit , this one took me a little longer to see , since in most photos I found she is 1 ) heavily made up , 2 ) shot with very strategic shading over one side of her face , and 3 ) often shot from slightly off - center . Again , her left eye is slightly lower than her right , and the right side of her face is actually a bit narrower than her left . This was a Halloween pic , so don 't worry - I don 't usually have antennae . First , note that my left eye is lower than my right ( not just because my head is turned ) , and my chin is a bit fuller on the left side . The right side of my face is also a bit narrower , just like Ms . Monroe above . Also , note that my left eyebrow has a more pronounced arch than my right . If you could see my ears , you 'd probably also notice that one is lower than the other . The truth is , even people without backgrounds in psychology or research experience have gotten the message that our faces are asymmetrical . Why do you think people talk about being photographed " from my good side " ? It may be that one side is truly better than the other , but it 's probably more likely having one side in the foreground is better than being photographed head - on . This technique camouflages the asymmetry . Makeup and good shading can also have a strong effect . Remember what I said above about composites being perceived as more attractive ? Faces in a group photo are also perceived as more attractive than solo faces , for the very same reason . Our brains average across what we see in a picture . So if there are multiple faces , your brain will average across them , making them all seem more symmetrical in your mind 's eye . Where do we tend to see celebrities ? When they 're all glammed up attending an award show or movie premiere , they tend to be in groups . There are people in the background much of the time . On the other hand , where do we tend to see celebrities walking solo ? Tabloids , where they 're usually being attacked for their weight , their looks , their lack of makeup , etc . They are out of their usual context , and perhaps as a result , perceived as less attractive . That I 've perhaps made myself look more attractive by including my photo in the context of attractive celebrities ? Maybe , though scrolling down to see my face probably means Ms . Monroe is out of the frame . Instead , you 're probably averaging me with the parrot . Or that if you want to look more attractive on dating websites , you should include a group photo instead of a picture of yourself alone ? Again , maybe . I 'd love to hear if that actually works ( just idle curiosity ; no plans on dating profiles anytime soon ) . I stumbled across an old ( but still funny ) cartoon about Blade crossing over into the Twilight universe and slaying Edward . Okay , not actually Edward - they call him Edgar , probably to avoid copyright infringement . But whatever . And I thought , " Damn , if only . . . " But then I thought , " What makes us think a stake would kill him ? I mean , sunlight doesn 't kill him . Poor writing doesn 't kill him . Bad acting doesn 't kill him . He 's seriously immortal , which sounds cool and all , but I don 't want it if it means I sparkle . " I 've also already discussed ( at length here and here ) that Buffy the Vampire Slayer is my favorite show . Of course , I 'll be the first to admit the inconsistencies in its approach to vampire lore . First of all , important vampire characters live longer in sunlight than throwaway characters , almost as if the love ( or hatred , or sometimes a little of both ) imbues them with additional powers . One of the Master 's goons ( or really any character bereft of a name ) can be thrown into sunlight and instantly explode , but Spike can sizzle for a full minute before an appendage bursts into flame . Second , there is marked variation in vampiric gestation . Some vampires awaken in the morgue ( e . g . , the vampire at the end of " The Body " ) . Others awaken on the table or in their casket at the funeral home ( e . g . , the vampire at the beginning of " Help " ) . Still others are buried , perhaps for days , before they wake up ( e . g . , Ford in " Lie to Me " ) . AND BUFFY ALWAYS KNOWS . I think I need to watch more Buffy to figure this out . . . I 've been pondering this post for a while . And after reading some IRB - themed jokes recently ( yes , that 's what I do for fun ) , I thought this would be a funny post to write . So here it is , what research in movies would look like if it were more similar to research in real life . When I started this , it was going to be just one post , but there 's so much material out there , I thought this might be part of a series of portrayals of research in movies . Sadly , this movie depicts what many people think psychological researchers are like : manipulative , deceitful , lacking any empathy . It also fails to follow the basic rules of ethical psychological research . Forget about the fact that the house is actually haunted , and look only at the plan of the study . Here 's what would happen if someone tried to recreate this study in real life : Dr . David Marrow discusses his project with his department chair , who insists that he can 't conduct the study ethically . But he ultimately lets Dr . Marrow do what he wants and shrugs as if to say , " But hey , give it a try and see how it turns out . " How would that conversation have ended in real life ? The department chair would have concluded his comment on ethics with , " but we 'll have to let the IRB sort it out . File the paperwork and you should have a decision in a couple of months . " Barring the IRB determining , like the department chair said , that there is no way to conduct the study ethically , Dr . Marrow gets his approval and can go forward with his study . Of course , that 's a big if - the IRB would probably , at the very least , require lots of additional language in the consent form to warn people about how this study might make them feel ( um , scared , probably ) that would prevent Dr . Marrow from deceiving his participants as much as he would like . And by the way , consent forms ? There don 't seem to be any in this movie . But okay , he gets that figured out and he can begin recruiting . Did he get the IRB 's approval of the text of his ad before putting it in the paper ? And is the newspaper staff member handling the call inquires on the IRB paperwork ( since he or she will be speaking with potential participants ) ? If not , better file an amendment first . Once he has them , he invites them to the house where they will begin the study . All good for now . But what 's next in the study procedure ? Signing consent forms ! What fun . Oh , and since he 's collecting information about people 's sleeping patterns , medical diagnoses of insomnia , etc . , he better also have them sign a HIPAA authorization too . But then things go horribly wrong . It turns out the house really is haunted and the people are actually in danger . What does the IRB say ? The IRB requires researchers to report any adverse events ( harm ) or serious adverse events ( injury or even death ) caused by the study . Both require forms to be filed with the IRB , and the IRB must then decide if the study can continue safely . Basically , all of these protections are in place for a reason . Informed consent means the participants know what they are in for - they may not know the true purpose of the study ( because deception is allowed ) but they have to know what they will be asked to do in the study and potential harms that may result . Participants also have to be allowed to leave the study at any time if they wish . The IRB continues to oversee studies and steps in if things turn out to be more harmful than originally thought . We realize that you have been wronged . You 've gone easy on us these last couple years , and how did we repay you ? We called you ' mild ' , we jokingly referred to you as ' Spring ' ; yes , we know you are not Spring , and so calling you this wrong name must have really hurt your feelings . So what did you do this year ? You reminded us what Winter really is . It 's cold . It 's long . It 's loaded with snow . It makes you question why you live where do , because , despite being tolerable to gorgeous 9ish months out of the year , it 's " snow , snow , too cold to snow , still too cold to snow , warmed up and guess what ? Snowed " the other 3 months . We see now that your actions are just a response to our behavior . We remember what you are - you are cold , you are rough , you make small children and even grown adults cry . You make us buy funny hats with earflaps and lined with so much fleece we spend the day with sweaty hat - hair , and coats so puffy , we have to loosen our seatbelt . Never again will we call you ' mild . ' Never again will we question , " What 's with all the snow ? " We know ; it 's Winter . We get it now . And we apologize . We remember who you are . You can be over any time now . Be sure to send in Spring on your way out . As a response to these jokes and comments , allow me to present something that just happened to me . I went out to my car to run a quick errand , and saw one of my neighbors outside cleaning off her car that was parked next to mine . She said hello and kept brushing . I 've seen her before and strongly suspect she has OCD ( Obsessive - Compulsive Disorder ) , but will admit I don 't know that for sure . She always seems very sedate when I talk to her , so she is probably on some pretty heavy anti - anxiety meds to help control the condition ( or she has something else I 'm not aware of and can 't detect because she 's so heavily medicated ) . She walked around her car once , continuing to brush as I started my car and got my brush out . And when I say she was brushing the snow off her car , I mean she was brushing each and every flake off of her car , off of the windows , the sides , the tires , the headlights . Her car was clean - far cleaner than mine was even after I finished brushing . The wind picked up and blew some of the snow from my car onto hers . I apologized , and she smiled and kept brushing , each new flake that flew onto her car being immediately brushed off . And as new snow started to fall , she continued walking around her car , brushing . I don 't know how long she had been out there before I came outside , or how long she was there after I left . But my heart went out to this poor lady , who could not stop brushing her car until every single flake was gone . I look out the window and see that it is snowing now , and I think of what a futile task it is to want - no , need - every single flake of snow off of the car . I 'll resist the urge to go on . And for my friends out there who make comments about their OCD , I will only say - if you really truly think that your need for order and perfection constitutes a mental illness , please get help . But if you are just using this diagnosis as a joke , or a " prettier " way of referring to your anal retentive nature , think about this woman , and how every single flake on her car needs to be gone before she can get in and drive away . It 's been less than a week since Philip Seymour Hoffman was found dead in his apartment . Like many people , I was in shock over the news . Not only was he one of my favorite actors - and my frequent example of incredibly versatile actors who could take on pretty much any role - I was only vaguely aware of his drug problem . I heard the news through a story posted by a friend on Facebook , and had to Google and check multiple news sites before I believed it wasn 't a hoax . And then today I found out . Hoffman had finished filming Mockingjay Part I , and had only a week left of filming on Mockingjay Part II . To complete the one major scene Hoffman had left , the film - makers will use digital effects to recreate Hoffman . The more I thought about this , the more I thought , " Wow , apparently Hollywood gets to decide when you 're actually dead or not . " I was reminded of the Ed Wood film , Plan 9 from Outer Space , regarded as one of the worst movies ever made . The movie starred Bela Lugosi , a man known for his portrayal of Dracula . Lugosi and Wood became friends , and Lugosi appeared in many of Wood 's movies . When Lugosi died during filming of Plan 9 , due to complications from methadone and morphine addiction , Wood was devasted … but also had a movie to finish . They found a man ( his wife 's chiropractor ) who looked like Lugosi from the eyes up , and had him cover his face with a cape for his scenes as the reanimated Lugosi ( reanimated both in the sense of the character - who died and was brought back by aliens - and reanimated in the same sense Hoffman will be ) . True , Hoffman 's digital recreation for Mockingjay Part II will only be for one scene ( or so the film - makers say ) , while Lugosi 's double appeared in a large chunk of the movie . So we may only be talking about 10 or so minutes . And this certainly wouldn 't be the first time a movie was released after one of its actors had died . But where do we draw the line ? Now that computer effects have gotten so good that this kind of recreation is possible - and probably won 't even be noticeable to the viewer - is this something we will see more of in the future ? Where do we say , " Okay , that amount of digital recreation is acceptable " and where do we say , " That 's going to far " ?
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Let 's start with my experience at Gizzi 's Coffee Shop during my lunch break on Friday . I passed by this place a few times while working the past week and decided to stop in for a mid day pick me up . They have a varied selection of coffees and teas and when I saw Vanilla Soy Latte - I knew that 's what I wanted . I ordered it and on the menu it said $ 3 . 24 . The barista / cashier continued to charge me $ . 50 extra for the soy although the price was listed on the menu for a vanilla soy latte . Me : Why is it $ 4 even when it says $ 3 . 24 on the menu ? Yeah it may be only $ . 50 but it 's the principle of it . You all have to understand I am part Polish , I am all about pinching my pennies . I finally got my latte and hunkered down by the fireplace where they have books and magazines to read . I am down for any place in South FL that has a fireplace ! They have the most comfy leather chairs I have sat my tush in in a while and after sitting in a hard , cold chair at work , it was most welcomed . The latte was good - not horrible , not orgasmic , just good . I am still a little annoyed about the $ . 50 but what can you do ? Hopefully this wasn 't a prelude to what my weekend was going to be like . When I got home from work , I was beat . Beat from sitting at a desk all day and scouring the Internet . Even when I was working full time , I never liked Friday nights . I was always so tired by the end of the week all I wanted to do was cook a nice meal and hang out for the night at home and maybe sneak a gym session in . So I decided that was exactly what I would do on my last day of work . I bought this Gardein Beefless Tips a couple of weeks ago and have been curious about them but also , a little scared to try them . Beefless tips just sounds dirty and as much as I like a meat - free alternative every now and then , something about fake beef skeeves me out . I despise cooking rice because I always mess it somehow - under cooked or overcooked and sticking to the pan . I would buy a rice cooker but I 'm doing the whole saving money thing and don 't eat enough rice to justify buying it . Steamfresh has been my favorite , lazy way to go with " making " rice as of late , just pop it in the microwave for five minutes and done ! Notice that the beefless tips aren 't in the finished product ? Yeah , I took one taste of them and spit it out after a few seconds . I can 't put into words how nasty the beefless tips tasted . I imagine a homeless persons shoe that has been soaked for a few days tasted the same as it . It was spongy and tasted like something that could kill me . When it was done cooked , I picked all of them out of the pan and threw them away along with the package . I 'll be sticking with Morningstar from now on . I managed to get a few in my basket and finally tried the Mango flavor . Which is ? Awesomness is in a cup . I think it is my new favorite flavor from Chobani ! n another note , look at how gross and dingy Winn Dixie 's dairy shelves are . NASTY . I am way too excited and proud about this but omelets aren 't my specialty . So when it happens , I want to tell the world . Yes sir . My mom declared it a morning of cleaning and once she started Gettysburg the movie blaring on her mini tv in the kitchen , I knew I had to get out . I made my way over to the beach to go do something … . . anything . I thought it would be the perfect time to break in my new shoes and get some exercise in early on . I headed over to Deerfield Beach to walk and get some sun . For 9am in the off - season the beach and boardwalk ( really a sidewalk but boardwalk sounds more beach - y ) was packed . I love how they have a set place to keep track of your mileage when running and walking and it 's always been a preferred spot for me whether it be going to the beach for the day or hanging out on the boardwalk . I put a good two miles in and as soon as I was done , got out of there since the parking prices at the meters are pretty steep . Scenes like these make me want to never , ever leave Florida . Elton John was wrong , Saturday night wasn 't meant for fighting , it was meant for Groupon ! Always a sucker for a deal , I bought this Groupon for Lucille 's Bad to the Bone BBQ . But then I second guessed my purchase , you see , Lucille and I have some history . When I was a teen , I had a bit of an attitude problem ( that unfortunately still holds true to this day ) I went through a slew of jobs such as working at Walgreens , Papa John 's , Supercuts and our girl , Lucille 's I worked there for a very long two months as a hostess but got canned and I * may * be a little bitter about that still . All I remember is them saying something about how I had an attitude and never smiled therefore , they wanted me out . I guess I didn 't fit the ambience of a bbq joint and haven 't stepped foot in since . However , you give me a 50 % off deal and you can bet your butt I 'll be there . I ordered the beef brisket sandwich , which has sweet relish and chopped onions mixed in and a sweet potato on the side . As you can see , the beef brisket was nothing short of amazing - it was succulent and the relish and onion mixed in gave it a little extra something I wasn 't expecting . I love that you can get a side other than fries there and even though the sweet potato was drenched in butter , I was happy with it . The beach and the bbq were signs that maybe the weekend wasn 't going to be so crappy after all . Don 't mock the penny slots , I won $ 3 off this baby ! It 's all slots at this place and I really struggled to find a slot that wasn 't a penny one . I would have killed to have found a nickel slot but they were few and far between . But I did notice a Sex and The City slot machine - when did that happen ? I didn 't get a good look at it since the voo doo woman playing it was giving me the stink eye and I didn 't want her to turn me into a chicken . I wonder if the symbols on it are flirtini 's and Jimmy Choo 's ? Happy almost Friday all ! Not a lot going on over here just getting ready to finish up working my temp gig . It will be actually be somewhat bittersweet since I 've gotten to know the guys there pretty well ( well for being there seven days that is ) and yes , all guys . There is no other women in the office which is very refreshing . I love my girls but I hate working with women . There tends to be so much drama and backstabbing that comes along with it and guys may bring drama , 95 % of the time if they have a problem with you , they will go ahead and tell you and I can respect that . When I do see the guys in the office , it 's great but that 's usually only for an hour each day since they go out into the field and sales calls . And the rest of the day is lonely . I would like to thank Youtube for helping me kill hours whether it be watching comedy And that 's about it . I went to Bonefish Grill last night and can confidently say it 's my favorite Wednesday night place thanks to their $ 5 Bang Bang Shrimp special ! They call it Bang Wednesday which I think goes along well with the notion of hump day . I 've never had the Bang Bang shrimp before but have been told multiple times how wonderful it was . The masses don 't lie , the shrimp was zesty and tasty . I love the bang bang sauce however next time I will get the sauce on the side since it was doused in it . A bonus is that it 's served over a bed of greens so it 's like a little shrimp salad for $ 5 . $ 3 glasses of house wine are equally enticing as well And since sushi one time this week wasn 't enough , I went again for lunch today to Sushi Rock . This place is right near where I 'm working for the week . It 's very unassuming in a tiny strip mall but I read online that they have lunch specials with a decent review so why not ? The first thing I noticed was there wasn 't a single soul in the place . Hmmmmm , it was still early so I didn 't want to judge them too early on . The second thing I noticed was their menu All of their menu covers are record covers which goes with the name Sushi Rock . I absolutely loved that idea and the chance that I got a menu with the album of one of my favorite cd 's of all time made it even better . Like Bluefin , they had both Japanese and Thai lunch specials that come with either miso soup or ginger dressing Holy cannoli - so . much . food . And only for $ 10 , the same price for my lunch on Tuesday but with more sushi with substance . Sushi Rock didn 't have the chic , hip atmosphere like Bluefin but more of a quaint , neighborhood feel to it which I actually dig more . I don 't need to feel sexy when I eat sushi , I need to feel like I 'm getting a good deal . I definitely got a good deal at Sushi Rock and can 't wait to visit again ! I 'm good with the details on where I want to visit but one thing I 've been slacking about is learning the language . I know the basics like ciao and buon giorno … . ok and chianti . Not wanting to spend a days worth of pay on Rosetta Stone , I logged onto my library 's catalog to see if they had anything to help me out I found this Berlitz Italian Guaranteed when I picked it up at the library , I was taken aback . Had I really requested a VHS ? Turns out it wasn 't a VHS like the case appeared to be , it was a Playaway . It 's a cool contraption . It 's like an ipod but for this segment only and all you have to do is plug in your earphones and you 're all set ! No charger and no bulkiness - score ! I 've done a few lessons and my main complaint originally was that it 's all over the place but now it 's actually coming together . It starts with greetings , how to say your name , ask others theirs and discuss where you 're from . Then it goes on to discuss what you do for a living , how many children you have and if you 're married . I definitely paid attention to the latter so I can ask men this in Italy what they do work wise and if they are involved . I can now count up to 30 , 20 - 29 is easy because they all start with venti so I can relate that to Starbucks biggest drink ! ! I can also spell my name out in Italian and tell you my name and where I 'm from . The other problem is that I don 't know how to write anything or know how its spelled . Whenever I write down what I 'm listening to ( because that 's the main way I learn ) , I spell it out the way it sounds which I know is wrong but works for now while learning it . I 've never learned a language from tapes before so the process has been interesting and I intend to keep practicing up until I go . I love it because I 'm a visual person and they are all about the illustrations and pictures . Who needs words when you can look at pictures right ? This book has given me great insight on where to go when in Italy but now I fear I have too many places I want to visit , oi vey . Amanda and Andy recently when back to Italy after going for their honeymoon a couple of years ago . I keep going to their blog and not only marveling at the Italian scenery but the food as well . Blueberry ricotta cheesecake , gnocchi , pizza and red wine ? Sign me up ! Be sure to check out their adventures in Verona and Venice ! But like college , I had to give myself a break from studying and researching . I met up with Natalie for lunch at Bluefin Sushi I am always down for sushi but even more so when there is a lunch special . Plus I 'm kind of over either eating lunch in my car just to get away from the desk or driving around for an hour . Natalie has been before and told me this place gets really busy since it 's located right off I95 near a ton of businesses so we went at noon . That was a smart move on our part since there were only a few tables and parking spaces galore . We went in and sat down and our server came right over to us . I can 't stand when servers take their time at lunch when you have to get back to work so that was appreciated . Bluefin has bento box specials for lunch that come with either soup or salad . Since it feels 100 + degrees outside with the humidity , I got the salad with ginger dressing . Followed by the Hosomaki lunch special . Both food was out soon after we ordered so no lollygagging at Bluefin - quick service is what I 'm talking about ! Hello beautiful bento box full of sushi ! This was only $ 10 - not a bad deal at all . My only gripe with Bluefin was that our waiter was a little too attentive with filling up my water . I love my H2O but cmon , give me a chance to just down one full glass of water ! And with that , my brain is fried from all the knowledge it 's taking in . I haven 't sat down and done any kind of studying in god knows how long . But I dig it . It 's nice to give my brain a little workout every now and then , something tells me the normal workout I have of reading TMZ isn 't a beneficial workout for my noggin . It was quite lonely today . Really the only people in the office are the owner ( who is on vaca ) and receptionist who is " training " me and goes on vaca tomorrow . I use the term training very loosely since there isn 't a lot to learn . I answer the phone and take messages . Easy enough right ? Not when they stick me in an office with no phone . That 's right no phone computer or even chair , good times . They finally brought me a chair and with that they gave me some work . I was so excited to use this little brain o ' mine and was ready to give my all to the filing , stamping and places labels on files chores they gave me . Too bad that only took 15 mins to get through . At least I wasn 't alone , I had a rubber duck to keep me company . Because every office should have a rubber duck yes ? Don 't worry I haven 't gone Castaway - mad yet and started talking to him . But there is six more days left on this assignment so let 's not rule it out . After much debate ( umm with myself ) I decided they were black . Hope I 'm right because I 've been rocking them with black capris and skirts ! Lunch was another lonely one … . in my car . I don 't believe they have a lunch room here ( or they haven 't shown me ) and I wanted to get out of the office and possibly see the sun but not be in it so it was me and a salad . And can we just say holy airbrushing skills batman ? She is one of those people I can 't watch on tv but I love her recipe books , magazine , etc . Like Giada , she has become too animated and a wee bit obnoxious over the years and as her fame has risen . ( source ) When I got home , I was ready to chow down but remembered the whole lack of cooking thing going on . So with that , I had nothing prepared except chopped veggies and salad mix and today is not a day I wanted to double down on salad . My parents said they would go out for me if I wanted to eat out and I am not one to turn down a free meal so we got in the car and went to Pei Wei . I ordered my standard tofu pad thai and the portion size seemed a lot bigger compared to the one in Charlotte . But something didn 't taste right . I am all about the peanut sauce but there was too much on this and the environment was throwing me off . This Pei Wei was one of the loudest I 've ever been to . We were sitting a table in the middle and I couldn 't even hear my parents talking across the table from me . I kept saying " Huh ? I can 't hear you " and tried to have a few bites before taking the rest to go . I thought I was going to drop by the time we got home , I was tired , cranky and had a headache but powered through and went for a 5 . 2mile bike ride . * I don 't like how the price of Dunkin Donuts coffee is increasing . At first , I thought I was going crazy because the iced coffee seemed to more expensive here than in Charlotte . But then I did a little research and turns out the price of their iced coffee and breakfast sandwiches at certain locations has gone up and may still go up . And of course , I think Dunkin has rockin iced coffee but not really a fan of their hot coffee . And vice versa for Starbucks . Mind you , they play movies that I 've seen a hundred times . However , something about that it 's on for hours on end really excites me . I didn 't want Mob Week to end but of course , all good things must come to an end . Perhaps they should create a mob station ? I would totally subscribe ! * Bonding with mom isn 't so bad . My mom and I are close but not like Gilmore Girls close . I don 't tell her my secrets , indulge her with information about who I 'm dating and admit , I can be pretty secretive with her . She is unemployed at the moment and wanted to go shopping to get out of the house and do something with someone instead of sitting at home alone . We went shopping , had coffee and it was nice to hang out . I think I can definitely do it in small increments like three or four hours . Otherwise , we will likely kill each other . * Once again , I need to cut myself off from all things Groupon . South Florida not only has one or two Groupon options , they have three ! I get the emails for Miami , Fort Lauderdale and Palm Beach daily and while that 's nice for saving money and trying out new businesses , I need to stop buying . I bought this Groupon awhile back when I lived in Charlotte for my parents to use and my dad insisted on my mom and I going for lunch the other day . It was a bit creepy but way better than being surrounded by noisy people . Our server told us that it picks up at nighttime and I can see why . Hello drink specials ! And I noticed that they are all day drink specials so I guess if I have nothing to do and feel like a good day drinking session is in order , I know where to go . Lincoln isn 't having a dog party anytime soon since A ) that 's ridiculous and B ) momma has student loans to pay before throwing her non existent money towards a dog party . But that doesn 't mean he can 't enjoy a fun treat right ? I got him a martini doggie treat and he scarfed it down , like momma like dog . * I love riding my bike again ! I usually scoff when I hear people say that once they find something they truly enjoy , it doesn 't feel like exercise anymore but I kind of know what they mean . I love going out there without a plan and seeing where I 'm going to end up . I felt ambitious on Sunday and went for a four mile ride in the afternoon . I felt like I could have kept going but I underestimated how much water I would need . I rested for a bit then went out again that night for another four miles . And that 's it … . . for now at least . I 've realized a whole lot more but I am just about dead to the world with a headache from hell . My sister has been in town so we have been going around non stop . She is getting married in October and lives three hours away so when she comes to town , she wants to get as much done as possible . Plus , on a happier financial note , I am going to work tomorrow ! My friend is a recruiter and hooked me up with a week and a half long gig doing reception work . The girl is going on vacation next week and is going to train me the next three days and then I will be on my own next week . Get out of the house and get some extra cash ? Sign me up ! On Wednesday night , I went to a food truck round up at Esplanade Park in Fort Lauderdale . This was the first one of it 's kind since they all seem to gather in parts of Miami so I was super stoked to take part and try some of the food truck cuisine of South Florida . Natalie was also game so I had a food truck partner in crime for the evening ! When I rolled up I saw hoards of people and the parking situation was absolutely out of control but they have a ton of lots , garages , etc , around . We walked over to the park , this is what we saw : However , first we decided that a cold one was in order so we went over to the ticket booth to get some tickets for beer . The lady told us that they didn 't expect this kind of turn out so they were no longer selling tickets because there wouldn 't be enough beer . Major bummer , especially since hello - it 's July in Florida and cold beverages would be much appreciated . Even more so if they are adult friendly . But then luck be a lady tonight ! A man came up to us and told us that we could have his tickets , no string attached . Unfortunately when we tried to go back to the line , the booths were already cleaned out so we should have triple downed instead . Oh well , they were still free . We got in line for Mr . Good Stuff and waited in hopes that we would soon be greeted with some tasty arepas . Notice how it 's light out in the picture ? I hope so . We waited … . and waited … . and waited . I listened to some obnoxious dude behind us chatting away about mortgages to the girl he is with ( I really hope they weren 't on a first date because homeboy slice killed his chances when he started talking short sales ) and dealt with people in front of us letting their friends cut in line . Oh yeah . Didn 't mention how they were a kickball team so it just wasn 't one person cutting in line - it was almost an entire team . Ugh . By time we got close enough to see what items they still had available , we decided to bail and go to another truck . It was nearing 815pm and I haven 't had anything to eat since lunch time so a side item such as fries wasn 't going to cut it . We checked three other food trucks but to our dismay , there was no real food . Each of the trucks were down to one or two items and they all seemed to be in the appetizer family . Can we say food truck fail ? Pair that up with hot , humid , beer , empty stomach and we decided to leave and go to an establishment where we would be guaranteed food - Brick House Tavern . The place was hopping for 9pm on a Wednesday night and they definitely go with the notion that bigger is better - from big booths to big beer bongs at tables around us to the waitresses with big bosums that made me feel like I was at a Hooters instead . And hello - check out this big beer menu ! Food wise - everything looked good at the moment . I kinda wanted to get two or three bites of each appetizer since they equally looked amazing . They even had fried stuffed olives - I 've never heard of such thing ! After much deliberation I got the Fondue Mushroom Burger with a side of fries . Gah , this burger was tender , juicy and hit the spot . I should have went with Natalie 's side item - garlic tater tots , topped with fresh garlic . They were out of this world and I had to stop myself from grabbing one ! I loved this place and want to go back again for the chicken and waffle plate they have . Even though the main goal of the night was to get some food truck food , it was still a fun evening . It was great to see the camaraderie of all the food trucks out there and the different kinds out there such as grilled cheese , sushi , dim sum , tacos and more . However , next time this happens , I will be there beforehand waiting in line anxiously for food . Happy Frugal Friday ! Hope everyone is ready for the weekend and that it 's starting to cool down wherever you are . The weatherman said that in South Florida the heat index today will be 110 degrees so this girl is all about staying inside in the A / C . My parents said something about going to see a movie this afternoon at one of the $ 2 theaters so they are embracing Frugal Friday as well ! When I went to Boston , Stephanie took me to this awesome used bookstore she frequents . I love used bookstores but this one also had cd 's , dvd 's , magazines , records and other goodies . I soon got the lay of the land and found that they had racks in the front featuring best sellers , chick lit , cookbooks , etc . Along with that are rows upon rows of books , all organized by genre . It was very easy to navigate through with very reasonable prices . I listened to Something Blue on the way down to Florida and it really did help time go by quickly . I read the book years ago and knew the premise of it but forgot certain parts of it . Plus , after seeing Something Borrowed a couple of months ago , it was fun to continue the story from Darcy 's point of view plus now I can totally see Kate Hudson as Darcy . Every though I prefer the books to movies , I am hoping that they come out with Something Blue as a movie . I am waiting to listen to the Lovely Bones on another long trip . I read the book and it was a little too depressing for me but given the way the book reads , I think the book on tape will be really interesting . I got both of these for under $ 8 . If anyone of you book on tape people would like " Something Blue " let me know and I will be happy to pay it forward and send to you ! While at the Lululemon store in Boston , I went up to the cash register to ask how much their red bags are . I 've never bought anything there before but I see their bags everywhere and dig them because they are a ) red , my favorite color b ) I love the quotes on them , just looking at them makes me smile . Besides me Coach purses , I don 't think I can say that about any bags I own . The sales associate told me that they don 't sell them , that they are the bags they put purchases in . I must have looked pretty down while saying " Oh " because the sales associate took one then slid me it on the DL and that definitely turned my frown upside down ! I got to the train station a bit early on Monday and was bored after a half hour , the people watching gods were not being good to me . I found out where the closest CVS was and took a walk over there to stock up on snacks , drinks and more . Stephanie gave me this coupon for $ 3 off HerbaShine hair color and it must have been in the stars for me to buy it because it was on sale for $ 7 at CVS . Pair that up with a $ . 50 extrabucks coupon and I got hair coloring , swedish fish , Gatorade and a sandwich for $ 11 , not too shabby . But then I thought about my purchase and how sketchy I looked buying hair dye when about to get on a train . That 's like straight out of a movie when a chick kills someone then moves somewhere random like South Dakota to start anew . No worries though , Stephanie is still alive and I am too afraid of prison to do that anyways . I 've never seen a CVS carry sandwiches like that and they had a pretty decent variety like a club , chicken caesar and buffalo chicken , which I got . I later enjoyed on the train along with some pita chips that I bought at Trader Joe 's that weekend . A great , portable meal for about $ 5 . 50 as opposed to just a sandwich on the train for $ 7 or $ 8 . The buffalo chicken was surprisingly tasty , a lot better than I expected from a drug store . As you can see , they are much bigger than the Haas ones and the skin is smoother as well . I sliced one open yesterday but it still wasn 't ready - boo . I have been doing excellent with not eating out that much . I only ate twice this week and one of them was with a Groupon I had for Wings n Ale in Coral Springs When I bought the Groupon , I thought the name sounded very familiar and when we pulled up , I realized that I had been there before . I was surprised to see it still in business because it 's in a random strip mall in the corner and if you blinked , you would probably miss it . The inside was very small with about eight or nine tables and you seat yourself . They have a small bar area and only two servers working that night . It was packed and our server mentioned that everyone who has been there in there was because of Groupon . One of the many reasons I love Groupon is because it helps support local businesses so I was happy to see that it was hopping ! Since I tried their wings before , I ordered the blackened mahi sandwich and it was superb . The fish was freah and blackened perfectly with a hint of spice . Plus I kinda dig that the mahi filet is square and served on a round bun - just like Wendy 's hamburgers ! Do you do a lot of shopping while traveling or try to save your money on other things ? Have you ever had a Florida avocado ? Do you have a good avocado recipe ? I 'm looking to do something besides guacamole !
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There was some discussion on Days on the Claise last week about the new Musée de la Préhistoire building at Le Grand - Pressigny . Some said it looked like a bunker or blockhouse in one of the photos posted there . All seemed to agree that the interior of the new museum building was very nice , even if the exterior put some off . Above is a photo I took a year or two ago that shows the museum building from a different angle . I 'm standing north of the château complex , looking back toward the town . The château was in ruins long before the new museum building was added . The older - still and taller towers framing the museum building date back to the 12th century . The Michelin green guide says there 's a very impressive view from the top of the round tower , called the Tour Vironne . I 've never been up there . Has anyone reading this seen that view ? This morning I woke up at 6 and , again , I noticed that it wasn 't at all dark outside . The birds were chirping cheerfully . Another day was dawning . That 's the nice thing about this time of year when you live so far north . At more than 47º of latitude , Saint - Aignan is farther north than Montreal , Quebec , Duluth , Fargo , or Billings - it 's about the same as Seattle and Spokane . Our sunrise today is at 6 : 40 a . m . ( right now ) , and sunset will be just after 9 p . m . this evening . All that , and we are still six or seven weeks away from the summer solstice . These long hours of sunlight will be with us until well into August . Speaking of long hours , the mass of May holidays in France begins this week . This Thursday is May 1 , which is a big public holiday here . May 8 , the following Thursday , is also a big public holiday , celebrating Victory in Europe , or the end of World War II 69 years ago . Another May holiday , one that always falls on a Thursday , is May 29 and is called L ' Ascension . It 's a Catholic holiday that marks Christ 's return to heaven forty days after his crucifixion and resurrection at Easter . All that got me searching back through my own blog to see if I had any photos of the Richelieu market hall , which was built in the 17th century out of chestnut logs . I remembered going there with our friend Cheryl in 2003 , and again with our friend CHM in 2006 . Actually , as far as the years when we were there , I had to do some searching to pin them down . Above is a photo of the market structure that I took in 2003 . It has been greatly refurbished recently , as Susan wrote . Richelieu itself is interesting as an example of a " new " town that was built from scratch starting in 1631 . The Cardinal Richelieu was a powerful political figure of the time and served as the French king 's prime minister . We went back to Richelieu in 2006 and I took the photo above . It was a quick visit . I have a vague memory of little boys on bicycles racing around between the wooden posts that hold up the market hall ceiling . The famous cardinal built himself a magnificent château outside his " new town " of Richelieu but it was demolished in the 18th and 19th centuries as a symbol of Ancien Régime opulence . Nothing much remains of that , but the market hall is impressive . I need to drive back over there one of these days to see how it has been fixed up . It must be because we had such a mild winter , and so much rain . The lilac bush that we planted a few years ago has flowers on it , even though this was supposed to be an off - year . It flowered last year , so we didn 't expect to see any lilacs in 2014 . The irises are more predictable . They were planted in different spots around the yard when we got here eleven years ago , and they produce a lot of big bluish flowers every spring . Maybe there are more iris blossoms than in past years . Again , the profusion has to be weather - related The forecast is for light rain all day long today . Yesterday morning , when the bread lady came by , I went out to buy a baguette . I looked up toward the sky . « C ' est gris » was all la porteuse de pain had to say about the situation . Yes , this the right blog . And this is Callie the border collie , who has lived with us for nearly seven years now . We brought her home at the beginning of May in 2007 . Callie 's domaine is the Renaudière vineyard . She explores it twice a day , sniffing all around for traces of deer and other wild animals . And once in a while she gets to chase a deer . A chase from time to time keeps her alert and hopeful . I planted the tree - two trees , really , that are growing together - as an experiment . And I planted them as much for their white springtime flowers and dark red foliage as for any fruit I might get . I grew them from pits that came from our neighbors ' plum tree , but the plums are completely different from the ones on their tree . Right now , for example , the plums on their tree are still green . The ones on my tree are dark red , as you can see . As I said , maybe some rain and then some sun will plump them up and ripen them this spring . Over the years , the crop has always been scant . They are wild plums , I guess . That means the trees are hardy , and the plums are small . Another neighbor of ours has a huge tree of the same kind in his yard . I haven 't yet walked over to see if it is also full of little red plums this year . Out in the vineyard , the vines are starting to produce flowers . I 'm not sure if this is early , but it seems early to me . The weather has been very mild for months now - since early December - and it 's been warm for about a month already . I took these photos yesterday morning . The weather was obviously nice , and the light was pretty . Today it 's foggy outside . I think we 're going into a rainy period . I 've been back in Saint - Aignan for a week now , and I 'm just starting to feel like doing some work in the yard and the garden . In about three weeks , it will be time to start planting tomatoes , eggplants , and other summer crops . At http : / / en . wikipedia . org / wiki / Pappus _ % 28flower _ structure % 29 , I see : " The pappus is the modified calyx , the part of an individual disk , ray or ligule floret surrounding the base of the corolla , in flower heads of the plant family Asteraceae . The pappus may be composed of bristles ( sometimes feathery ) , awns , scales , or may be absent . In some species , the pappus is too small to see without magnification . In some species , such as Dandelion or Eupatorium , feathery bristles of the pappus function as a " parachute " which enables the seed to be carried by the wind . The name derives from the Ancient Greek word pappos , Latin pappus , meaning " old man " , so used for a plant ( assumed to be an Erigeron species ) having bristles and also for the woolly , hairy seed of certain plants . " It rained all day yesterday . Not a hard rain , but a steady one . Today , I don 't know what to expect . This morning , I 've been sitting here enjoying looking at photos that I took in North Carolina last week . It 's pure escapism . I 'm glad to be back in France but I miss home just a little . I don 't know about you , but when I travel back to a familiar place , it takes a while for my eyes to adjust . At first , nothing I see corresponds to the vision of the place that I have stored in my mind . The roads are wider , for example , and flatter , and less scenic . There are too many traffic lights and electrical wires . The houses look more fragile , and less well maintained than I remember . Everything looks almost shabby at first . That 's how I felt when I arrived in Morehead City on April 1 . It 's the town where I was born and where I spent the first 20 years of my life . Most of my family still lives there . I go visit every year . I love the place , but I can 't imagine ever living there again . The eye - adjustment thing used to happen to me during the years when I lived in San Francisco and would come spend one , two , or three weeks on vacation in France . That was when I realized what was going on . Riding home in the taxi from SFO airport , I 'd look around and be surprised by what I saw . Wide highways with too many cars on them . Ticky - tacky wood - frame houses perched on hillsides , about to slide down , and painted in funny colors , looking very temporary . Way too many utility poles and wires everywhere . It didn 't look pretty - though everybody knows how beautiful San Francisco is . I think the same thing used to happen when I 'd return to Paris after months or years in the States . The city would look dirty , and the buildings run - down . Everybody was dressed in dark colors and had greasy hair . I 'd have to wait several days for my eyes to adjust . " I don 't have my Paris eyes on yet , " I 'd think , when I found myself wondering what I had ever found attractive and charming about the place . The lesson is : don 't rush to judge a place . Give it time . I don 't feel the same way about the neighborhood where we live now . I guess it 's because it 's not in a big town or city , and because it 's mostly green - especially at this time of year . I realize here that I 've already had my Saint - Aignan eyes on for a good week . Looking back at my photos , I can enjoy seeing what my North Carolina eyes were focused on not so many days ago . Rabbit is a very good food . It 's white meat and very lean . Yes , it 's a little like chicken , but a little different too . One of the classic French ways to prepare rabbit is with ( Dijon ) mustard . That 's what we did yesterday . In France , rabbits are available year round , fresh , in the supermarkets and at the outdoor markets . They are farm - raised , not wild . The flavor is mild - not gamey . Rabbit can be roasted , grilled , or stewed . In the past , we 've made Thai - style rabbit curries and Moroccan - style rabbit tajines , and rabbit couscous - not to mention shredded rabbit rillettes with duck fat . After marinating the cut up rabbit for nearly three hours , we grilled it . The marinade was a couple of heaping tablespoons of Dijon mustard , a quarter cup each of white vinegar and olive oil , a chopped shallot and a chopped garlic clove , some dried thyme , pinches of powdered cloves and allspice , and some salt and black pepper . It was a kind of vinaigrette , in fact . During the grilling , Walt basted the rabbit pieces with the leftover marinade a couple of times . When the pieces were slightly browned , he closed the lid of the grill and let the meat cook as if it were in the oven . The rabbit was cooked through and not dried out . They had promised us rain for the weekend , and we may get some this afternoon , but this morning the sky is perfectly clear . It 's almost time for the sun to rise . It 's cold outside . Above , sunrise on Thursday . Today , Saturday , it 's the same scene . Okay , the Télématin weather report is coming on right now : As usual , Saint - Aignan is right on the line , with rain and showers to the north ( Normandy , Paris ) and east ( Burgundy , Champagne , Picardy , Alsace , and so on ) and sun but cool weather to the south and west . We 'll find out what our weather is going to do when it does it . . . The vines are now covered in little leaves like the ones above . All the vegetation is much greener now than it was two or three weeks ago when I left for my American trip . I 've planted some vine canes in pots and most of them have leaves on them now . All you have to do is take a clipping at pruning time and stick the bottom end of it into dirt . It grows . Not this year , but in 2015 , I " ll have to pick places around the yard where I can plant my vines . The back yard is very green . Our mole colony seems to have moved on , mostly . The ground 's too dry for moles , since we are at the top of a hill . I hope it stays dry enough to keep the moles on lower ground , out in the woods , where there 's more moisture . I may regret their absence , though , if a lot of beetle larvae - mole prey - start eating the roots of our garden plants . We didn 't have enough freezing weather this past winter to kill such pests . It happened to me once before . Years ago . Walt and I were checking in for a flight over in Terminal 2 . The woman examining our passports and registering our luggage was just finishing up when an announcement was made over the intercom . I couldn 't quite hear what it was all about . But the Air France clerk suddenly tossed us our boarding passes and yelled : " We have to run ! Follow me ! " And we literally went running out of the terminal . We fully expected to hear and feel an explosion behind us . We didn 't . It was pretty exciting , all the same . Yesterday was a beautiful day here in Saint - Aignan . I went out and walked around the vineyard with the dog in the morning . The rest of the day , I was sort of in a daze . My body wanted to sleep , but I did my best to stay awake . I dozed off in front of the TV several times in the afternoon . It was probably a mistake to try to watch the latest recorded episodes of The Good Wife at that particular time . Today is gray and rain threatens . I slept for the second night in a row . I 'm optimistic about my jet - lag ending quickly , but I also know that just when you think it 's over it hits you again . By Monday , I should be in good shape . I will probably have a groggy Easter weekend . We will be cooking a rabbit . That 's what we do on Easter . It 's a 30 + - year - old tradition in this household . This time , I think we might grill the rabbit - if it doesn 't rain on Sunday - and baste it with a mustard sauce as it cooks . In the past , we 've made rabbit French - style ( en gibelotte ) , Thai - style ( in a coconut - milk curry ) , and other ways . Grilling it will be a first . Yesterday morning , right after I ate my croissant , drank my café crème , and finished my short blog post in Terminal 1 at Roissy - CDG airport , all hell broke loose . Everything had been going so smoothly . My plane had arrived 30 minutes early , I had breezed through passport control , and my bag had come out fairly quickly and in good condition . I strolled through customs and saw not a single douanier on duty . As I stepped out of the sort of food court into a wide hallway , a woman in uniform came running toward me and ordered me to get myself back into the food court . C ' est dangeureux ici , she barked . There were 10 or 12 security guards huddled together farther up the hallway . Earlier , I had heard an announcement on the airport intercom saying that a stray suitcase had been found near elevators A and B in Terminal 1 . The owner of the abandoned bag was instructed to come and fetch it immediately . Back in the food court , the announcement was made that elevators A and B were now closed to the public because the suitcase had not been claimed . It was suspicious and might contain a bomb . At that point , I didn 't even know where elevators A and B were located . I headed around the opposite side of the circular airport terminal from the closed off area , still looking for a men 's room ( too much coffee ) and hoping to make my way to the people - mover and get out of Terminal 1 while the getting was good . No such luck . I came to another roped - off area and another security guard who waved me off . Shouting , I asked how I could get to the CDGVal shuttle , and he pointed up toward the ceiling - go upstairs , he meant . I did . Upstairs was where all the people were . Thousands of them , I 'd estimate . Slowly , I navigated my way through the mass of passengers pushing luggage carts and dragging their rolling suitcases , still trying to locate the exit leading to the airport shuttle . Everything ground to a halt . I ended up standing in a long line that just kept getting longer , pressing up against a security cordon . I could see the sign for elevator B and CDGVal just a few dozen meters farther on . But there we stood . After about 15 minutes , a young airport employee walked down the line telling people who were headed for Terminal 2 that a bus shuttle service de substitution had been set up because access to the CDGVal trains was sealed off . I still had plenty of time , so I asked if the closure would last long . You 'd better go get the bus , the employee said . There was no telling when the CDGVal trains would start running again . By then , hundreds of people were ahead of me as we spilled out of the terminal onto the sidewalk and street . Car horns were honking all around us . Taxi drivers where shaking their fists at us and at each other . Buses , both the familiar Paris - style green and white shuttles and gigantic cars de touristes , were stacked up , their forward progress blocked by the crowds of people pushing carts and pulling suitcases onto the road . The doors of a shuttle bus at the head of the line opened and in an instant it was packed full of people hoping to make it to their planes in Terminal 2 and not miss their connections . By six o ' clock yesterday afternoon I was out , bleary - eyed , walking in the vineyard again . I didn 't look forward to hauling my heavy suitcase and two carry - on bags up the steps of a bus and pushing my way into a shuttle heaving with frustrated , panicked travelers ( like myself ) . Many hundreds us were still on the sidewalk and roadway . Just then , another airport employee came out of the terminal and started announcing to people in the crowd , almost one by one , that the abandoned suitcase in elevator B had been destroyed by the bomb squad . The CDGVal was running again . The herd of travelers immediately turned on its heel and streamed back into the terminal . It was slow going , what with luggage carts clipping my heels and wheely bags running over my toes . I knew that the first CDGVal trains to Terminal 2 would be like so many cans of sardines , but it was better to go that way than to wait for a second shuttle bus to show up out on the street . I let myself be swept away by the migrating horde . After all that , everything calmed down again . I found my way to the TGV station in Terminal 2 sans problème - I still had an hour to wait . I found a place to sit down and read for a while . Groggy after a sleepless night on the plane , and wondering jet - laggedly what time it really was , pretty soon I was seated in first class on the TGV and traveling toward Tours . The train was 20 minutes late - I don 't know why - but when I stepped onto the platform at Saint - Pierre - des - Corps 90 minutes later , Walt was standing there waiting for me .
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There was some discussion on Days on the Claise last week about the new Musée de la Préhistoire building at Le Grand - Pressigny . Some said it looked like a bunker or blockhouse in one of the photos posted there . All seemed to agree that the interior of the new museum building was very nice , even if the exterior put some off . Above is a photo I took a year or two ago that shows the museum building from a different angle . I 'm standing north of the château complex , looking back toward the town . The château was in ruins long before the new museum building was added . The older - still and taller towers framing the museum building date back to the 12th century . The Michelin green guide says there 's a very impressive view from the top of the round tower , called the Tour Vironne . I 've never been up there . Has anyone reading this seen that view ? This morning I woke up at 6 and , again , I noticed that it wasn 't at all dark outside . The birds were chirping cheerfully . Another day was dawning . That 's the nice thing about this time of year when you live so far north . At more than 47º of latitude , Saint - Aignan is farther north than Montreal , Quebec , Duluth , Fargo , or Billings - it 's about the same as Seattle and Spokane . Our sunrise today is at 6 : 40 a . m . ( right now ) , and sunset will be just after 9 p . m . this evening . All that , and we are still six or seven weeks away from the summer solstice . These long hours of sunlight will be with us until well into August . Speaking of long hours , the mass of May holidays in France begins this week . This Thursday is May 1 , which is a big public holiday here . May 8 , the following Thursday , is also a big public holiday , celebrating Victory in Europe , or the end of World War II 69 years ago . Another May holiday , one that always falls on a Thursday , is May 29 and is called L ' Ascension . It 's a Catholic holiday that marks Christ 's return to heaven forty days after his crucifixion and resurrection at Easter . All that got me searching back through my own blog to see if I had any photos of the Richelieu market hall , which was built in the 17th century out of chestnut logs . I remembered going there with our friend Cheryl in 2003 , and again with our friend CHM in 2006 . Actually , as far as the years when we were there , I had to do some searching to pin them down . Above is a photo of the market structure that I took in 2003 . It has been greatly refurbished recently , as Susan wrote . Richelieu itself is interesting as an example of a " new " town that was built from scratch starting in 1631 . The Cardinal Richelieu was a powerful political figure of the time and served as the French king 's prime minister . We went back to Richelieu in 2006 and I took the photo above . It was a quick visit . I have a vague memory of little boys on bicycles racing around between the wooden posts that hold up the market hall ceiling . The famous cardinal built himself a magnificent château outside his " new town " of Richelieu but it was demolished in the 18th and 19th centuries as a symbol of Ancien Régime opulence . Nothing much remains of that , but the market hall is impressive . I need to drive back over there one of these days to see how it has been fixed up . It must be because we had such a mild winter , and so much rain . The lilac bush that we planted a few years ago has flowers on it , even though this was supposed to be an off - year . It flowered last year , so we didn 't expect to see any lilacs in 2014 . The irises are more predictable . They were planted in different spots around the yard when we got here eleven years ago , and they produce a lot of big bluish flowers every spring . Maybe there are more iris blossoms than in past years . Again , the profusion has to be weather - related The forecast is for light rain all day long today . Yesterday morning , when the bread lady came by , I went out to buy a baguette . I looked up toward the sky . « C ' est gris » was all la porteuse de pain had to say about the situation . Yes , this the right blog . And this is Callie the border collie , who has lived with us for nearly seven years now . We brought her home at the beginning of May in 2007 . Callie 's domaine is the Renaudière vineyard . She explores it twice a day , sniffing all around for traces of deer and other wild animals . And once in a while she gets to chase a deer . A chase from time to time keeps her alert and hopeful . I planted the tree - two trees , really , that are growing together - as an experiment . And I planted them as much for their white springtime flowers and dark red foliage as for any fruit I might get . I grew them from pits that came from our neighbors ' plum tree , but the plums are completely different from the ones on their tree . Right now , for example , the plums on their tree are still green . The ones on my tree are dark red , as you can see . As I said , maybe some rain and then some sun will plump them up and ripen them this spring . Over the years , the crop has always been scant . They are wild plums , I guess . That means the trees are hardy , and the plums are small . Another neighbor of ours has a huge tree of the same kind in his yard . I haven 't yet walked over to see if it is also full of little red plums this year . Out in the vineyard , the vines are starting to produce flowers . I 'm not sure if this is early , but it seems early to me . The weather has been very mild for months now - since early December - and it 's been warm for about a month already . I took these photos yesterday morning . The weather was obviously nice , and the light was pretty . Today it 's foggy outside . I think we 're going into a rainy period . I 've been back in Saint - Aignan for a week now , and I 'm just starting to feel like doing some work in the yard and the garden . In about three weeks , it will be time to start planting tomatoes , eggplants , and other summer crops . At http : / / en . wikipedia . org / wiki / Pappus _ % 28flower _ structure % 29 , I see : " The pappus is the modified calyx , the part of an individual disk , ray or ligule floret surrounding the base of the corolla , in flower heads of the plant family Asteraceae . The pappus may be composed of bristles ( sometimes feathery ) , awns , scales , or may be absent . In some species , the pappus is too small to see without magnification . In some species , such as Dandelion or Eupatorium , feathery bristles of the pappus function as a " parachute " which enables the seed to be carried by the wind . The name derives from the Ancient Greek word pappos , Latin pappus , meaning " old man " , so used for a plant ( assumed to be an Erigeron species ) having bristles and also for the woolly , hairy seed of certain plants . " It rained all day yesterday . Not a hard rain , but a steady one . Today , I don 't know what to expect . This morning , I 've been sitting here enjoying looking at photos that I took in North Carolina last week . It 's pure escapism . I 'm glad to be back in France but I miss home just a little . I don 't know about you , but when I travel back to a familiar place , it takes a while for my eyes to adjust . At first , nothing I see corresponds to the vision of the place that I have stored in my mind . The roads are wider , for example , and flatter , and less scenic . There are too many traffic lights and electrical wires . The houses look more fragile , and less well maintained than I remember . Everything looks almost shabby at first . That 's how I felt when I arrived in Morehead City on April 1 . It 's the town where I was born and where I spent the first 20 years of my life . Most of my family still lives there . I go visit every year . I love the place , but I can 't imagine ever living there again . The eye - adjustment thing used to happen to me during the years when I lived in San Francisco and would come spend one , two , or three weeks on vacation in France . That was when I realized what was going on . Riding home in the taxi from SFO airport , I 'd look around and be surprised by what I saw . Wide highways with too many cars on them . Ticky - tacky wood - frame houses perched on hillsides , about to slide down , and painted in funny colors , looking very temporary . Way too many utility poles and wires everywhere . It didn 't look pretty - though everybody knows how beautiful San Francisco is . I think the same thing used to happen when I 'd return to Paris after months or years in the States . The city would look dirty , and the buildings run - down . Everybody was dressed in dark colors and had greasy hair . I 'd have to wait several days for my eyes to adjust . " I don 't have my Paris eyes on yet , " I 'd think , when I found myself wondering what I had ever found attractive and charming about the place . The lesson is : don 't rush to judge a place . Give it time . I don 't feel the same way about the neighborhood where we live now . I guess it 's because it 's not in a big town or city , and because it 's mostly green - especially at this time of year . I realize here that I 've already had my Saint - Aignan eyes on for a good week . Looking back at my photos , I can enjoy seeing what my North Carolina eyes were focused on not so many days ago . Rabbit is a very good food . It 's white meat and very lean . Yes , it 's a little like chicken , but a little different too . One of the classic French ways to prepare rabbit is with ( Dijon ) mustard . That 's what we did yesterday . In France , rabbits are available year round , fresh , in the supermarkets and at the outdoor markets . They are farm - raised , not wild . The flavor is mild - not gamey . Rabbit can be roasted , grilled , or stewed . In the past , we 've made Thai - style rabbit curries and Moroccan - style rabbit tajines , and rabbit couscous - not to mention shredded rabbit rillettes with duck fat . After marinating the cut up rabbit for nearly three hours , we grilled it . The marinade was a couple of heaping tablespoons of Dijon mustard , a quarter cup each of white vinegar and olive oil , a chopped shallot and a chopped garlic clove , some dried thyme , pinches of powdered cloves and allspice , and some salt and black pepper . It was a kind of vinaigrette , in fact . During the grilling , Walt basted the rabbit pieces with the leftover marinade a couple of times . When the pieces were slightly browned , he closed the lid of the grill and let the meat cook as if it were in the oven . The rabbit was cooked through and not dried out . They had promised us rain for the weekend , and we may get some this afternoon , but this morning the sky is perfectly clear . It 's almost time for the sun to rise . It 's cold outside . Above , sunrise on Thursday . Today , Saturday , it 's the same scene . Okay , the Télématin weather report is coming on right now : As usual , Saint - Aignan is right on the line , with rain and showers to the north ( Normandy , Paris ) and east ( Burgundy , Champagne , Picardy , Alsace , and so on ) and sun but cool weather to the south and west . We 'll find out what our weather is going to do when it does it . . . The vines are now covered in little leaves like the ones above . All the vegetation is much greener now than it was two or three weeks ago when I left for my American trip . I 've planted some vine canes in pots and most of them have leaves on them now . All you have to do is take a clipping at pruning time and stick the bottom end of it into dirt . It grows . Not this year , but in 2015 , I " ll have to pick places around the yard where I can plant my vines . The back yard is very green . Our mole colony seems to have moved on , mostly . The ground 's too dry for moles , since we are at the top of a hill . I hope it stays dry enough to keep the moles on lower ground , out in the woods , where there 's more moisture . I may regret their absence , though , if a lot of beetle larvae - mole prey - start eating the roots of our garden plants . We didn 't have enough freezing weather this past winter to kill such pests . It happened to me once before . Years ago . Walt and I were checking in for a flight over in Terminal 2 . The woman examining our passports and registering our luggage was just finishing up when an announcement was made over the intercom . I couldn 't quite hear what it was all about . But the Air France clerk suddenly tossed us our boarding passes and yelled : " We have to run ! Follow me ! " And we literally went running out of the terminal . We fully expected to hear and feel an explosion behind us . We didn 't . It was pretty exciting , all the same . Yesterday was a beautiful day here in Saint - Aignan . I went out and walked around the vineyard with the dog in the morning . The rest of the day , I was sort of in a daze . My body wanted to sleep , but I did my best to stay awake . I dozed off in front of the TV several times in the afternoon . It was probably a mistake to try to watch the latest recorded episodes of The Good Wife at that particular time . Today is gray and rain threatens . I slept for the second night in a row . I 'm optimistic about my jet - lag ending quickly , but I also know that just when you think it 's over it hits you again . By Monday , I should be in good shape . I will probably have a groggy Easter weekend . We will be cooking a rabbit . That 's what we do on Easter . It 's a 30 + - year - old tradition in this household . This time , I think we might grill the rabbit - if it doesn 't rain on Sunday - and baste it with a mustard sauce as it cooks . In the past , we 've made rabbit French - style ( en gibelotte ) , Thai - style ( in a coconut - milk curry ) , and other ways . Grilling it will be a first . Yesterday morning , right after I ate my croissant , drank my café crème , and finished my short blog post in Terminal 1 at Roissy - CDG airport , all hell broke loose . Everything had been going so smoothly . My plane had arrived 30 minutes early , I had breezed through passport control , and my bag had come out fairly quickly and in good condition . I strolled through customs and saw not a single douanier on duty . As I stepped out of the sort of food court into a wide hallway , a woman in uniform came running toward me and ordered me to get myself back into the food court . C ' est dangeureux ici , she barked . There were 10 or 12 security guards huddled together farther up the hallway . Earlier , I had heard an announcement on the airport intercom saying that a stray suitcase had been found near elevators A and B in Terminal 1 . The owner of the abandoned bag was instructed to come and fetch it immediately . Back in the food court , the announcement was made that elevators A and B were now closed to the public because the suitcase had not been claimed . It was suspicious and might contain a bomb . At that point , I didn 't even know where elevators A and B were located . I headed around the opposite side of the circular airport terminal from the closed off area , still looking for a men 's room ( too much coffee ) and hoping to make my way to the people - mover and get out of Terminal 1 while the getting was good . No such luck . I came to another roped - off area and another security guard who waved me off . Shouting , I asked how I could get to the CDGVal shuttle , and he pointed up toward the ceiling - go upstairs , he meant . I did . Upstairs was where all the people were . Thousands of them , I 'd estimate . Slowly , I navigated my way through the mass of passengers pushing luggage carts and dragging their rolling suitcases , still trying to locate the exit leading to the airport shuttle . Everything ground to a halt . I ended up standing in a long line that just kept getting longer , pressing up against a security cordon . I could see the sign for elevator B and CDGVal just a few dozen meters farther on . But there we stood . After about 15 minutes , a young airport employee walked down the line telling people who were headed for Terminal 2 that a bus shuttle service de substitution had been set up because access to the CDGVal trains was sealed off . I still had plenty of time , so I asked if the closure would last long . You 'd better go get the bus , the employee said . There was no telling when the CDGVal trains would start running again . By then , hundreds of people were ahead of me as we spilled out of the terminal onto the sidewalk and street . Car horns were honking all around us . Taxi drivers where shaking their fists at us and at each other . Buses , both the familiar Paris - style green and white shuttles and gigantic cars de touristes , were stacked up , their forward progress blocked by the crowds of people pushing carts and pulling suitcases onto the road . The doors of a shuttle bus at the head of the line opened and in an instant it was packed full of people hoping to make it to their planes in Terminal 2 and not miss their connections . By six o ' clock yesterday afternoon I was out , bleary - eyed , walking in the vineyard again . I didn 't look forward to hauling my heavy suitcase and two carry - on bags up the steps of a bus and pushing my way into a shuttle heaving with frustrated , panicked travelers ( like myself ) . Many hundreds us were still on the sidewalk and roadway . Just then , another airport employee came out of the terminal and started announcing to people in the crowd , almost one by one , that the abandoned suitcase in elevator B had been destroyed by the bomb squad . The CDGVal was running again . The herd of travelers immediately turned on its heel and streamed back into the terminal . It was slow going , what with luggage carts clipping my heels and wheely bags running over my toes . I knew that the first CDGVal trains to Terminal 2 would be like so many cans of sardines , but it was better to go that way than to wait for a second shuttle bus to show up out on the street . I let myself be swept away by the migrating horde . After all that , everything calmed down again . I found my way to the TGV station in Terminal 2 sans problème - I still had an hour to wait . I found a place to sit down and read for a while . Groggy after a sleepless night on the plane , and wondering jet - laggedly what time it really was , pretty soon I was seated in first class on the TGV and traveling toward Tours . The train was 20 minutes late - I don 't know why - but when I stepped onto the platform at Saint - Pierre - des - Corps 90 minutes later , Walt was standing there waiting for me .
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There was some discussion on Days on the Claise last week about the new Musée de la Préhistoire building at Le Grand - Pressigny . Some said it looked like a bunker or blockhouse in one of the photos posted there . All seemed to agree that the interior of the new museum building was very nice , even if the exterior put some off . Above is a photo I took a year or two ago that shows the museum building from a different angle . I 'm standing north of the château complex , looking back toward the town . The château was in ruins long before the new museum building was added . The older - still and taller towers framing the museum building date back to the 12th century . The Michelin green guide says there 's a very impressive view from the top of the round tower , called the Tour Vironne . I 've never been up there . Has anyone reading this seen that view ? This morning I woke up at 6 and , again , I noticed that it wasn 't at all dark outside . The birds were chirping cheerfully . Another day was dawning . That 's the nice thing about this time of year when you live so far north . At more than 47º of latitude , Saint - Aignan is farther north than Montreal , Quebec , Duluth , Fargo , or Billings - it 's about the same as Seattle and Spokane . Our sunrise today is at 6 : 40 a . m . ( right now ) , and sunset will be just after 9 p . m . this evening . All that , and we are still six or seven weeks away from the summer solstice . These long hours of sunlight will be with us until well into August . Speaking of long hours , the mass of May holidays in France begins this week . This Thursday is May 1 , which is a big public holiday here . May 8 , the following Thursday , is also a big public holiday , celebrating Victory in Europe , or the end of World War II 69 years ago . Another May holiday , one that always falls on a Thursday , is May 29 and is called L ' Ascension . It 's a Catholic holiday that marks Christ 's return to heaven forty days after his crucifixion and resurrection at Easter . All that got me searching back through my own blog to see if I had any photos of the Richelieu market hall , which was built in the 17th century out of chestnut logs . I remembered going there with our friend Cheryl in 2003 , and again with our friend CHM in 2006 . Actually , as far as the years when we were there , I had to do some searching to pin them down . Above is a photo of the market structure that I took in 2003 . It has been greatly refurbished recently , as Susan wrote . Richelieu itself is interesting as an example of a " new " town that was built from scratch starting in 1631 . The Cardinal Richelieu was a powerful political figure of the time and served as the French king 's prime minister . We went back to Richelieu in 2006 and I took the photo above . It was a quick visit . I have a vague memory of little boys on bicycles racing around between the wooden posts that hold up the market hall ceiling . The famous cardinal built himself a magnificent château outside his " new town " of Richelieu but it was demolished in the 18th and 19th centuries as a symbol of Ancien Régime opulence . Nothing much remains of that , but the market hall is impressive . I need to drive back over there one of these days to see how it has been fixed up . It must be because we had such a mild winter , and so much rain . The lilac bush that we planted a few years ago has flowers on it , even though this was supposed to be an off - year . It flowered last year , so we didn 't expect to see any lilacs in 2014 . The irises are more predictable . They were planted in different spots around the yard when we got here eleven years ago , and they produce a lot of big bluish flowers every spring . Maybe there are more iris blossoms than in past years . Again , the profusion has to be weather - related The forecast is for light rain all day long today . Yesterday morning , when the bread lady came by , I went out to buy a baguette . I looked up toward the sky . « C ' est gris » was all la porteuse de pain had to say about the situation . Yes , this the right blog . And this is Callie the border collie , who has lived with us for nearly seven years now . We brought her home at the beginning of May in 2007 . Callie 's domaine is the Renaudière vineyard . She explores it twice a day , sniffing all around for traces of deer and other wild animals . And once in a while she gets to chase a deer . A chase from time to time keeps her alert and hopeful . I planted the tree - two trees , really , that are growing together - as an experiment . And I planted them as much for their white springtime flowers and dark red foliage as for any fruit I might get . I grew them from pits that came from our neighbors ' plum tree , but the plums are completely different from the ones on their tree . Right now , for example , the plums on their tree are still green . The ones on my tree are dark red , as you can see . As I said , maybe some rain and then some sun will plump them up and ripen them this spring . Over the years , the crop has always been scant . They are wild plums , I guess . That means the trees are hardy , and the plums are small . Another neighbor of ours has a huge tree of the same kind in his yard . I haven 't yet walked over to see if it is also full of little red plums this year . Out in the vineyard , the vines are starting to produce flowers . I 'm not sure if this is early , but it seems early to me . The weather has been very mild for months now - since early December - and it 's been warm for about a month already . I took these photos yesterday morning . The weather was obviously nice , and the light was pretty . Today it 's foggy outside . I think we 're going into a rainy period . I 've been back in Saint - Aignan for a week now , and I 'm just starting to feel like doing some work in the yard and the garden . In about three weeks , it will be time to start planting tomatoes , eggplants , and other summer crops . At http : / / en . wikipedia . org / wiki / Pappus _ % 28flower _ structure % 29 , I see : " The pappus is the modified calyx , the part of an individual disk , ray or ligule floret surrounding the base of the corolla , in flower heads of the plant family Asteraceae . The pappus may be composed of bristles ( sometimes feathery ) , awns , scales , or may be absent . In some species , the pappus is too small to see without magnification . In some species , such as Dandelion or Eupatorium , feathery bristles of the pappus function as a " parachute " which enables the seed to be carried by the wind . The name derives from the Ancient Greek word pappos , Latin pappus , meaning " old man " , so used for a plant ( assumed to be an Erigeron species ) having bristles and also for the woolly , hairy seed of certain plants . " It rained all day yesterday . Not a hard rain , but a steady one . Today , I don 't know what to expect . This morning , I 've been sitting here enjoying looking at photos that I took in North Carolina last week . It 's pure escapism . I 'm glad to be back in France but I miss home just a little . I don 't know about you , but when I travel back to a familiar place , it takes a while for my eyes to adjust . At first , nothing I see corresponds to the vision of the place that I have stored in my mind . The roads are wider , for example , and flatter , and less scenic . There are too many traffic lights and electrical wires . The houses look more fragile , and less well maintained than I remember . Everything looks almost shabby at first . That 's how I felt when I arrived in Morehead City on April 1 . It 's the town where I was born and where I spent the first 20 years of my life . Most of my family still lives there . I go visit every year . I love the place , but I can 't imagine ever living there again . The eye - adjustment thing used to happen to me during the years when I lived in San Francisco and would come spend one , two , or three weeks on vacation in France . That was when I realized what was going on . Riding home in the taxi from SFO airport , I 'd look around and be surprised by what I saw . Wide highways with too many cars on them . Ticky - tacky wood - frame houses perched on hillsides , about to slide down , and painted in funny colors , looking very temporary . Way too many utility poles and wires everywhere . It didn 't look pretty - though everybody knows how beautiful San Francisco is . I think the same thing used to happen when I 'd return to Paris after months or years in the States . The city would look dirty , and the buildings run - down . Everybody was dressed in dark colors and had greasy hair . I 'd have to wait several days for my eyes to adjust . " I don 't have my Paris eyes on yet , " I 'd think , when I found myself wondering what I had ever found attractive and charming about the place . The lesson is : don 't rush to judge a place . Give it time . I don 't feel the same way about the neighborhood where we live now . I guess it 's because it 's not in a big town or city , and because it 's mostly green - especially at this time of year . I realize here that I 've already had my Saint - Aignan eyes on for a good week . Looking back at my photos , I can enjoy seeing what my North Carolina eyes were focused on not so many days ago . Rabbit is a very good food . It 's white meat and very lean . Yes , it 's a little like chicken , but a little different too . One of the classic French ways to prepare rabbit is with ( Dijon ) mustard . That 's what we did yesterday . In France , rabbits are available year round , fresh , in the supermarkets and at the outdoor markets . They are farm - raised , not wild . The flavor is mild - not gamey . Rabbit can be roasted , grilled , or stewed . In the past , we 've made Thai - style rabbit curries and Moroccan - style rabbit tajines , and rabbit couscous - not to mention shredded rabbit rillettes with duck fat . After marinating the cut up rabbit for nearly three hours , we grilled it . The marinade was a couple of heaping tablespoons of Dijon mustard , a quarter cup each of white vinegar and olive oil , a chopped shallot and a chopped garlic clove , some dried thyme , pinches of powdered cloves and allspice , and some salt and black pepper . It was a kind of vinaigrette , in fact . During the grilling , Walt basted the rabbit pieces with the leftover marinade a couple of times . When the pieces were slightly browned , he closed the lid of the grill and let the meat cook as if it were in the oven . The rabbit was cooked through and not dried out . They had promised us rain for the weekend , and we may get some this afternoon , but this morning the sky is perfectly clear . It 's almost time for the sun to rise . It 's cold outside . Above , sunrise on Thursday . Today , Saturday , it 's the same scene . Okay , the Télématin weather report is coming on right now : As usual , Saint - Aignan is right on the line , with rain and showers to the north ( Normandy , Paris ) and east ( Burgundy , Champagne , Picardy , Alsace , and so on ) and sun but cool weather to the south and west . We 'll find out what our weather is going to do when it does it . . . The vines are now covered in little leaves like the ones above . All the vegetation is much greener now than it was two or three weeks ago when I left for my American trip . I 've planted some vine canes in pots and most of them have leaves on them now . All you have to do is take a clipping at pruning time and stick the bottom end of it into dirt . It grows . Not this year , but in 2015 , I " ll have to pick places around the yard where I can plant my vines . The back yard is very green . Our mole colony seems to have moved on , mostly . The ground 's too dry for moles , since we are at the top of a hill . I hope it stays dry enough to keep the moles on lower ground , out in the woods , where there 's more moisture . I may regret their absence , though , if a lot of beetle larvae - mole prey - start eating the roots of our garden plants . We didn 't have enough freezing weather this past winter to kill such pests . It happened to me once before . Years ago . Walt and I were checking in for a flight over in Terminal 2 . The woman examining our passports and registering our luggage was just finishing up when an announcement was made over the intercom . I couldn 't quite hear what it was all about . But the Air France clerk suddenly tossed us our boarding passes and yelled : " We have to run ! Follow me ! " And we literally went running out of the terminal . We fully expected to hear and feel an explosion behind us . We didn 't . It was pretty exciting , all the same . Yesterday was a beautiful day here in Saint - Aignan . I went out and walked around the vineyard with the dog in the morning . The rest of the day , I was sort of in a daze . My body wanted to sleep , but I did my best to stay awake . I dozed off in front of the TV several times in the afternoon . It was probably a mistake to try to watch the latest recorded episodes of The Good Wife at that particular time . Today is gray and rain threatens . I slept for the second night in a row . I 'm optimistic about my jet - lag ending quickly , but I also know that just when you think it 's over it hits you again . By Monday , I should be in good shape . I will probably have a groggy Easter weekend . We will be cooking a rabbit . That 's what we do on Easter . It 's a 30 + - year - old tradition in this household . This time , I think we might grill the rabbit - if it doesn 't rain on Sunday - and baste it with a mustard sauce as it cooks . In the past , we 've made rabbit French - style ( en gibelotte ) , Thai - style ( in a coconut - milk curry ) , and other ways . Grilling it will be a first . Yesterday morning , right after I ate my croissant , drank my café crème , and finished my short blog post in Terminal 1 at Roissy - CDG airport , all hell broke loose . Everything had been going so smoothly . My plane had arrived 30 minutes early , I had breezed through passport control , and my bag had come out fairly quickly and in good condition . I strolled through customs and saw not a single douanier on duty . As I stepped out of the sort of food court into a wide hallway , a woman in uniform came running toward me and ordered me to get myself back into the food court . C ' est dangeureux ici , she barked . There were 10 or 12 security guards huddled together farther up the hallway . Earlier , I had heard an announcement on the airport intercom saying that a stray suitcase had been found near elevators A and B in Terminal 1 . The owner of the abandoned bag was instructed to come and fetch it immediately . Back in the food court , the announcement was made that elevators A and B were now closed to the public because the suitcase had not been claimed . It was suspicious and might contain a bomb . At that point , I didn 't even know where elevators A and B were located . I headed around the opposite side of the circular airport terminal from the closed off area , still looking for a men 's room ( too much coffee ) and hoping to make my way to the people - mover and get out of Terminal 1 while the getting was good . No such luck . I came to another roped - off area and another security guard who waved me off . Shouting , I asked how I could get to the CDGVal shuttle , and he pointed up toward the ceiling - go upstairs , he meant . I did . Upstairs was where all the people were . Thousands of them , I 'd estimate . Slowly , I navigated my way through the mass of passengers pushing luggage carts and dragging their rolling suitcases , still trying to locate the exit leading to the airport shuttle . Everything ground to a halt . I ended up standing in a long line that just kept getting longer , pressing up against a security cordon . I could see the sign for elevator B and CDGVal just a few dozen meters farther on . But there we stood . After about 15 minutes , a young airport employee walked down the line telling people who were headed for Terminal 2 that a bus shuttle service de substitution had been set up because access to the CDGVal trains was sealed off . I still had plenty of time , so I asked if the closure would last long . You 'd better go get the bus , the employee said . There was no telling when the CDGVal trains would start running again . By then , hundreds of people were ahead of me as we spilled out of the terminal onto the sidewalk and street . Car horns were honking all around us . Taxi drivers where shaking their fists at us and at each other . Buses , both the familiar Paris - style green and white shuttles and gigantic cars de touristes , were stacked up , their forward progress blocked by the crowds of people pushing carts and pulling suitcases onto the road . The doors of a shuttle bus at the head of the line opened and in an instant it was packed full of people hoping to make it to their planes in Terminal 2 and not miss their connections . By six o ' clock yesterday afternoon I was out , bleary - eyed , walking in the vineyard again . I didn 't look forward to hauling my heavy suitcase and two carry - on bags up the steps of a bus and pushing my way into a shuttle heaving with frustrated , panicked travelers ( like myself ) . Many hundreds us were still on the sidewalk and roadway . Just then , another airport employee came out of the terminal and started announcing to people in the crowd , almost one by one , that the abandoned suitcase in elevator B had been destroyed by the bomb squad . The CDGVal was running again . The herd of travelers immediately turned on its heel and streamed back into the terminal . It was slow going , what with luggage carts clipping my heels and wheely bags running over my toes . I knew that the first CDGVal trains to Terminal 2 would be like so many cans of sardines , but it was better to go that way than to wait for a second shuttle bus to show up out on the street . I let myself be swept away by the migrating horde . After all that , everything calmed down again . I found my way to the TGV station in Terminal 2 sans problème - I still had an hour to wait . I found a place to sit down and read for a while . Groggy after a sleepless night on the plane , and wondering jet - laggedly what time it really was , pretty soon I was seated in first class on the TGV and traveling toward Tours . The train was 20 minutes late - I don 't know why - but when I stepped onto the platform at Saint - Pierre - des - Corps 90 minutes later , Walt was standing there waiting for me .
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There was some discussion on Days on the Claise last week about the new Musée de la Préhistoire building at Le Grand - Pressigny . Some said it looked like a bunker or blockhouse in one of the photos posted there . All seemed to agree that the interior of the new museum building was very nice , even if the exterior put some off . Above is a photo I took a year or two ago that shows the museum building from a different angle . I 'm standing north of the château complex , looking back toward the town . The château was in ruins long before the new museum building was added . The older - still and taller towers framing the museum building date back to the 12th century . The Michelin green guide says there 's a very impressive view from the top of the round tower , called the Tour Vironne . I 've never been up there . Has anyone reading this seen that view ? This morning I woke up at 6 and , again , I noticed that it wasn 't at all dark outside . The birds were chirping cheerfully . Another day was dawning . That 's the nice thing about this time of year when you live so far north . At more than 47º of latitude , Saint - Aignan is farther north than Montreal , Quebec , Duluth , Fargo , or Billings - it 's about the same as Seattle and Spokane . Our sunrise today is at 6 : 40 a . m . ( right now ) , and sunset will be just after 9 p . m . this evening . All that , and we are still six or seven weeks away from the summer solstice . These long hours of sunlight will be with us until well into August . Speaking of long hours , the mass of May holidays in France begins this week . This Thursday is May 1 , which is a big public holiday here . May 8 , the following Thursday , is also a big public holiday , celebrating Victory in Europe , or the end of World War II 69 years ago . Another May holiday , one that always falls on a Thursday , is May 29 and is called L ' Ascension . It 's a Catholic holiday that marks Christ 's return to heaven forty days after his crucifixion and resurrection at Easter . All that got me searching back through my own blog to see if I had any photos of the Richelieu market hall , which was built in the 17th century out of chestnut logs . I remembered going there with our friend Cheryl in 2003 , and again with our friend CHM in 2006 . Actually , as far as the years when we were there , I had to do some searching to pin them down . Above is a photo of the market structure that I took in 2003 . It has been greatly refurbished recently , as Susan wrote . Richelieu itself is interesting as an example of a " new " town that was built from scratch starting in 1631 . The Cardinal Richelieu was a powerful political figure of the time and served as the French king 's prime minister . We went back to Richelieu in 2006 and I took the photo above . It was a quick visit . I have a vague memory of little boys on bicycles racing around between the wooden posts that hold up the market hall ceiling . The famous cardinal built himself a magnificent château outside his " new town " of Richelieu but it was demolished in the 18th and 19th centuries as a symbol of Ancien Régime opulence . Nothing much remains of that , but the market hall is impressive . I need to drive back over there one of these days to see how it has been fixed up . It must be because we had such a mild winter , and so much rain . The lilac bush that we planted a few years ago has flowers on it , even though this was supposed to be an off - year . It flowered last year , so we didn 't expect to see any lilacs in 2014 . The irises are more predictable . They were planted in different spots around the yard when we got here eleven years ago , and they produce a lot of big bluish flowers every spring . Maybe there are more iris blossoms than in past years . Again , the profusion has to be weather - related The forecast is for light rain all day long today . Yesterday morning , when the bread lady came by , I went out to buy a baguette . I looked up toward the sky . « C ' est gris » was all la porteuse de pain had to say about the situation . Yes , this the right blog . And this is Callie the border collie , who has lived with us for nearly seven years now . We brought her home at the beginning of May in 2007 . Callie 's domaine is the Renaudière vineyard . She explores it twice a day , sniffing all around for traces of deer and other wild animals . And once in a while she gets to chase a deer . A chase from time to time keeps her alert and hopeful . I planted the tree - two trees , really , that are growing together - as an experiment . And I planted them as much for their white springtime flowers and dark red foliage as for any fruit I might get . I grew them from pits that came from our neighbors ' plum tree , but the plums are completely different from the ones on their tree . Right now , for example , the plums on their tree are still green . The ones on my tree are dark red , as you can see . As I said , maybe some rain and then some sun will plump them up and ripen them this spring . Over the years , the crop has always been scant . They are wild plums , I guess . That means the trees are hardy , and the plums are small . Another neighbor of ours has a huge tree of the same kind in his yard . I haven 't yet walked over to see if it is also full of little red plums this year . Out in the vineyard , the vines are starting to produce flowers . I 'm not sure if this is early , but it seems early to me . The weather has been very mild for months now - since early December - and it 's been warm for about a month already . I took these photos yesterday morning . The weather was obviously nice , and the light was pretty . Today it 's foggy outside . I think we 're going into a rainy period . I 've been back in Saint - Aignan for a week now , and I 'm just starting to feel like doing some work in the yard and the garden . In about three weeks , it will be time to start planting tomatoes , eggplants , and other summer crops . At http : / / en . wikipedia . org / wiki / Pappus _ % 28flower _ structure % 29 , I see : " The pappus is the modified calyx , the part of an individual disk , ray or ligule floret surrounding the base of the corolla , in flower heads of the plant family Asteraceae . The pappus may be composed of bristles ( sometimes feathery ) , awns , scales , or may be absent . In some species , the pappus is too small to see without magnification . In some species , such as Dandelion or Eupatorium , feathery bristles of the pappus function as a " parachute " which enables the seed to be carried by the wind . The name derives from the Ancient Greek word pappos , Latin pappus , meaning " old man " , so used for a plant ( assumed to be an Erigeron species ) having bristles and also for the woolly , hairy seed of certain plants . " It rained all day yesterday . Not a hard rain , but a steady one . Today , I don 't know what to expect . This morning , I 've been sitting here enjoying looking at photos that I took in North Carolina last week . It 's pure escapism . I 'm glad to be back in France but I miss home just a little . I don 't know about you , but when I travel back to a familiar place , it takes a while for my eyes to adjust . At first , nothing I see corresponds to the vision of the place that I have stored in my mind . The roads are wider , for example , and flatter , and less scenic . There are too many traffic lights and electrical wires . The houses look more fragile , and less well maintained than I remember . Everything looks almost shabby at first . That 's how I felt when I arrived in Morehead City on April 1 . It 's the town where I was born and where I spent the first 20 years of my life . Most of my family still lives there . I go visit every year . I love the place , but I can 't imagine ever living there again . The eye - adjustment thing used to happen to me during the years when I lived in San Francisco and would come spend one , two , or three weeks on vacation in France . That was when I realized what was going on . Riding home in the taxi from SFO airport , I 'd look around and be surprised by what I saw . Wide highways with too many cars on them . Ticky - tacky wood - frame houses perched on hillsides , about to slide down , and painted in funny colors , looking very temporary . Way too many utility poles and wires everywhere . It didn 't look pretty - though everybody knows how beautiful San Francisco is . I think the same thing used to happen when I 'd return to Paris after months or years in the States . The city would look dirty , and the buildings run - down . Everybody was dressed in dark colors and had greasy hair . I 'd have to wait several days for my eyes to adjust . " I don 't have my Paris eyes on yet , " I 'd think , when I found myself wondering what I had ever found attractive and charming about the place . The lesson is : don 't rush to judge a place . Give it time . I don 't feel the same way about the neighborhood where we live now . I guess it 's because it 's not in a big town or city , and because it 's mostly green - especially at this time of year . I realize here that I 've already had my Saint - Aignan eyes on for a good week . Looking back at my photos , I can enjoy seeing what my North Carolina eyes were focused on not so many days ago . Rabbit is a very good food . It 's white meat and very lean . Yes , it 's a little like chicken , but a little different too . One of the classic French ways to prepare rabbit is with ( Dijon ) mustard . That 's what we did yesterday . In France , rabbits are available year round , fresh , in the supermarkets and at the outdoor markets . They are farm - raised , not wild . The flavor is mild - not gamey . Rabbit can be roasted , grilled , or stewed . In the past , we 've made Thai - style rabbit curries and Moroccan - style rabbit tajines , and rabbit couscous - not to mention shredded rabbit rillettes with duck fat . After marinating the cut up rabbit for nearly three hours , we grilled it . The marinade was a couple of heaping tablespoons of Dijon mustard , a quarter cup each of white vinegar and olive oil , a chopped shallot and a chopped garlic clove , some dried thyme , pinches of powdered cloves and allspice , and some salt and black pepper . It was a kind of vinaigrette , in fact . During the grilling , Walt basted the rabbit pieces with the leftover marinade a couple of times . When the pieces were slightly browned , he closed the lid of the grill and let the meat cook as if it were in the oven . The rabbit was cooked through and not dried out . They had promised us rain for the weekend , and we may get some this afternoon , but this morning the sky is perfectly clear . It 's almost time for the sun to rise . It 's cold outside . Above , sunrise on Thursday . Today , Saturday , it 's the same scene . Okay , the Télématin weather report is coming on right now : As usual , Saint - Aignan is right on the line , with rain and showers to the north ( Normandy , Paris ) and east ( Burgundy , Champagne , Picardy , Alsace , and so on ) and sun but cool weather to the south and west . We 'll find out what our weather is going to do when it does it . . . The vines are now covered in little leaves like the ones above . All the vegetation is much greener now than it was two or three weeks ago when I left for my American trip . I 've planted some vine canes in pots and most of them have leaves on them now . All you have to do is take a clipping at pruning time and stick the bottom end of it into dirt . It grows . Not this year , but in 2015 , I " ll have to pick places around the yard where I can plant my vines . The back yard is very green . Our mole colony seems to have moved on , mostly . The ground 's too dry for moles , since we are at the top of a hill . I hope it stays dry enough to keep the moles on lower ground , out in the woods , where there 's more moisture . I may regret their absence , though , if a lot of beetle larvae - mole prey - start eating the roots of our garden plants . We didn 't have enough freezing weather this past winter to kill such pests . It happened to me once before . Years ago . Walt and I were checking in for a flight over in Terminal 2 . The woman examining our passports and registering our luggage was just finishing up when an announcement was made over the intercom . I couldn 't quite hear what it was all about . But the Air France clerk suddenly tossed us our boarding passes and yelled : " We have to run ! Follow me ! " And we literally went running out of the terminal . We fully expected to hear and feel an explosion behind us . We didn 't . It was pretty exciting , all the same . Yesterday was a beautiful day here in Saint - Aignan . I went out and walked around the vineyard with the dog in the morning . The rest of the day , I was sort of in a daze . My body wanted to sleep , but I did my best to stay awake . I dozed off in front of the TV several times in the afternoon . It was probably a mistake to try to watch the latest recorded episodes of The Good Wife at that particular time . Today is gray and rain threatens . I slept for the second night in a row . I 'm optimistic about my jet - lag ending quickly , but I also know that just when you think it 's over it hits you again . By Monday , I should be in good shape . I will probably have a groggy Easter weekend . We will be cooking a rabbit . That 's what we do on Easter . It 's a 30 + - year - old tradition in this household . This time , I think we might grill the rabbit - if it doesn 't rain on Sunday - and baste it with a mustard sauce as it cooks . In the past , we 've made rabbit French - style ( en gibelotte ) , Thai - style ( in a coconut - milk curry ) , and other ways . Grilling it will be a first . Yesterday morning , right after I ate my croissant , drank my café crème , and finished my short blog post in Terminal 1 at Roissy - CDG airport , all hell broke loose . Everything had been going so smoothly . My plane had arrived 30 minutes early , I had breezed through passport control , and my bag had come out fairly quickly and in good condition . I strolled through customs and saw not a single douanier on duty . As I stepped out of the sort of food court into a wide hallway , a woman in uniform came running toward me and ordered me to get myself back into the food court . C ' est dangeureux ici , she barked . There were 10 or 12 security guards huddled together farther up the hallway . Earlier , I had heard an announcement on the airport intercom saying that a stray suitcase had been found near elevators A and B in Terminal 1 . The owner of the abandoned bag was instructed to come and fetch it immediately . Back in the food court , the announcement was made that elevators A and B were now closed to the public because the suitcase had not been claimed . It was suspicious and might contain a bomb . At that point , I didn 't even know where elevators A and B were located . I headed around the opposite side of the circular airport terminal from the closed off area , still looking for a men 's room ( too much coffee ) and hoping to make my way to the people - mover and get out of Terminal 1 while the getting was good . No such luck . I came to another roped - off area and another security guard who waved me off . Shouting , I asked how I could get to the CDGVal shuttle , and he pointed up toward the ceiling - go upstairs , he meant . I did . Upstairs was where all the people were . Thousands of them , I 'd estimate . Slowly , I navigated my way through the mass of passengers pushing luggage carts and dragging their rolling suitcases , still trying to locate the exit leading to the airport shuttle . Everything ground to a halt . I ended up standing in a long line that just kept getting longer , pressing up against a security cordon . I could see the sign for elevator B and CDGVal just a few dozen meters farther on . But there we stood . After about 15 minutes , a young airport employee walked down the line telling people who were headed for Terminal 2 that a bus shuttle service de substitution had been set up because access to the CDGVal trains was sealed off . I still had plenty of time , so I asked if the closure would last long . You 'd better go get the bus , the employee said . There was no telling when the CDGVal trains would start running again . By then , hundreds of people were ahead of me as we spilled out of the terminal onto the sidewalk and street . Car horns were honking all around us . Taxi drivers where shaking their fists at us and at each other . Buses , both the familiar Paris - style green and white shuttles and gigantic cars de touristes , were stacked up , their forward progress blocked by the crowds of people pushing carts and pulling suitcases onto the road . The doors of a shuttle bus at the head of the line opened and in an instant it was packed full of people hoping to make it to their planes in Terminal 2 and not miss their connections . By six o ' clock yesterday afternoon I was out , bleary - eyed , walking in the vineyard again . I didn 't look forward to hauling my heavy suitcase and two carry - on bags up the steps of a bus and pushing my way into a shuttle heaving with frustrated , panicked travelers ( like myself ) . Many hundreds us were still on the sidewalk and roadway . Just then , another airport employee came out of the terminal and started announcing to people in the crowd , almost one by one , that the abandoned suitcase in elevator B had been destroyed by the bomb squad . The CDGVal was running again . The herd of travelers immediately turned on its heel and streamed back into the terminal . It was slow going , what with luggage carts clipping my heels and wheely bags running over my toes . I knew that the first CDGVal trains to Terminal 2 would be like so many cans of sardines , but it was better to go that way than to wait for a second shuttle bus to show up out on the street . I let myself be swept away by the migrating horde . After all that , everything calmed down again . I found my way to the TGV station in Terminal 2 sans problème - I still had an hour to wait . I found a place to sit down and read for a while . Groggy after a sleepless night on the plane , and wondering jet - laggedly what time it really was , pretty soon I was seated in first class on the TGV and traveling toward Tours . The train was 20 minutes late - I don 't know why - but when I stepped onto the platform at Saint - Pierre - des - Corps 90 minutes later , Walt was standing there waiting for me .
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There was some discussion on Days on the Claise last week about the new Musée de la Préhistoire building at Le Grand - Pressigny . Some said it looked like a bunker or blockhouse in one of the photos posted there . All seemed to agree that the interior of the new museum building was very nice , even if the exterior put some off . Above is a photo I took a year or two ago that shows the museum building from a different angle . I 'm standing north of the château complex , looking back toward the town . The château was in ruins long before the new museum building was added . The older - still and taller towers framing the museum building date back to the 12th century . The Michelin green guide says there 's a very impressive view from the top of the round tower , called the Tour Vironne . I 've never been up there . Has anyone reading this seen that view ? This morning I woke up at 6 and , again , I noticed that it wasn 't at all dark outside . The birds were chirping cheerfully . Another day was dawning . That 's the nice thing about this time of year when you live so far north . At more than 47º of latitude , Saint - Aignan is farther north than Montreal , Quebec , Duluth , Fargo , or Billings - it 's about the same as Seattle and Spokane . Our sunrise today is at 6 : 40 a . m . ( right now ) , and sunset will be just after 9 p . m . this evening . All that , and we are still six or seven weeks away from the summer solstice . These long hours of sunlight will be with us until well into August . Speaking of long hours , the mass of May holidays in France begins this week . This Thursday is May 1 , which is a big public holiday here . May 8 , the following Thursday , is also a big public holiday , celebrating Victory in Europe , or the end of World War II 69 years ago . Another May holiday , one that always falls on a Thursday , is May 29 and is called L ' Ascension . It 's a Catholic holiday that marks Christ 's return to heaven forty days after his crucifixion and resurrection at Easter . All that got me searching back through my own blog to see if I had any photos of the Richelieu market hall , which was built in the 17th century out of chestnut logs . I remembered going there with our friend Cheryl in 2003 , and again with our friend CHM in 2006 . Actually , as far as the years when we were there , I had to do some searching to pin them down . Above is a photo of the market structure that I took in 2003 . It has been greatly refurbished recently , as Susan wrote . Richelieu itself is interesting as an example of a " new " town that was built from scratch starting in 1631 . The Cardinal Richelieu was a powerful political figure of the time and served as the French king 's prime minister . We went back to Richelieu in 2006 and I took the photo above . It was a quick visit . I have a vague memory of little boys on bicycles racing around between the wooden posts that hold up the market hall ceiling . The famous cardinal built himself a magnificent château outside his " new town " of Richelieu but it was demolished in the 18th and 19th centuries as a symbol of Ancien Régime opulence . Nothing much remains of that , but the market hall is impressive . I need to drive back over there one of these days to see how it has been fixed up . It must be because we had such a mild winter , and so much rain . The lilac bush that we planted a few years ago has flowers on it , even though this was supposed to be an off - year . It flowered last year , so we didn 't expect to see any lilacs in 2014 . The irises are more predictable . They were planted in different spots around the yard when we got here eleven years ago , and they produce a lot of big bluish flowers every spring . Maybe there are more iris blossoms than in past years . Again , the profusion has to be weather - related The forecast is for light rain all day long today . Yesterday morning , when the bread lady came by , I went out to buy a baguette . I looked up toward the sky . « C ' est gris » was all la porteuse de pain had to say about the situation . Yes , this the right blog . And this is Callie the border collie , who has lived with us for nearly seven years now . We brought her home at the beginning of May in 2007 . Callie 's domaine is the Renaudière vineyard . She explores it twice a day , sniffing all around for traces of deer and other wild animals . And once in a while she gets to chase a deer . A chase from time to time keeps her alert and hopeful . I planted the tree - two trees , really , that are growing together - as an experiment . And I planted them as much for their white springtime flowers and dark red foliage as for any fruit I might get . I grew them from pits that came from our neighbors ' plum tree , but the plums are completely different from the ones on their tree . Right now , for example , the plums on their tree are still green . The ones on my tree are dark red , as you can see . As I said , maybe some rain and then some sun will plump them up and ripen them this spring . Over the years , the crop has always been scant . They are wild plums , I guess . That means the trees are hardy , and the plums are small . Another neighbor of ours has a huge tree of the same kind in his yard . I haven 't yet walked over to see if it is also full of little red plums this year . Out in the vineyard , the vines are starting to produce flowers . I 'm not sure if this is early , but it seems early to me . The weather has been very mild for months now - since early December - and it 's been warm for about a month already . I took these photos yesterday morning . The weather was obviously nice , and the light was pretty . Today it 's foggy outside . I think we 're going into a rainy period . I 've been back in Saint - Aignan for a week now , and I 'm just starting to feel like doing some work in the yard and the garden . In about three weeks , it will be time to start planting tomatoes , eggplants , and other summer crops . At http : / / en . wikipedia . org / wiki / Pappus _ % 28flower _ structure % 29 , I see : " The pappus is the modified calyx , the part of an individual disk , ray or ligule floret surrounding the base of the corolla , in flower heads of the plant family Asteraceae . The pappus may be composed of bristles ( sometimes feathery ) , awns , scales , or may be absent . In some species , the pappus is too small to see without magnification . In some species , such as Dandelion or Eupatorium , feathery bristles of the pappus function as a " parachute " which enables the seed to be carried by the wind . The name derives from the Ancient Greek word pappos , Latin pappus , meaning " old man " , so used for a plant ( assumed to be an Erigeron species ) having bristles and also for the woolly , hairy seed of certain plants . " It rained all day yesterday . Not a hard rain , but a steady one . Today , I don 't know what to expect . This morning , I 've been sitting here enjoying looking at photos that I took in North Carolina last week . It 's pure escapism . I 'm glad to be back in France but I miss home just a little . I don 't know about you , but when I travel back to a familiar place , it takes a while for my eyes to adjust . At first , nothing I see corresponds to the vision of the place that I have stored in my mind . The roads are wider , for example , and flatter , and less scenic . There are too many traffic lights and electrical wires . The houses look more fragile , and less well maintained than I remember . Everything looks almost shabby at first . That 's how I felt when I arrived in Morehead City on April 1 . It 's the town where I was born and where I spent the first 20 years of my life . Most of my family still lives there . I go visit every year . I love the place , but I can 't imagine ever living there again . The eye - adjustment thing used to happen to me during the years when I lived in San Francisco and would come spend one , two , or three weeks on vacation in France . That was when I realized what was going on . Riding home in the taxi from SFO airport , I 'd look around and be surprised by what I saw . Wide highways with too many cars on them . Ticky - tacky wood - frame houses perched on hillsides , about to slide down , and painted in funny colors , looking very temporary . Way too many utility poles and wires everywhere . It didn 't look pretty - though everybody knows how beautiful San Francisco is . I think the same thing used to happen when I 'd return to Paris after months or years in the States . The city would look dirty , and the buildings run - down . Everybody was dressed in dark colors and had greasy hair . I 'd have to wait several days for my eyes to adjust . " I don 't have my Paris eyes on yet , " I 'd think , when I found myself wondering what I had ever found attractive and charming about the place . The lesson is : don 't rush to judge a place . Give it time . I don 't feel the same way about the neighborhood where we live now . I guess it 's because it 's not in a big town or city , and because it 's mostly green - especially at this time of year . I realize here that I 've already had my Saint - Aignan eyes on for a good week . Looking back at my photos , I can enjoy seeing what my North Carolina eyes were focused on not so many days ago . Rabbit is a very good food . It 's white meat and very lean . Yes , it 's a little like chicken , but a little different too . One of the classic French ways to prepare rabbit is with ( Dijon ) mustard . That 's what we did yesterday . In France , rabbits are available year round , fresh , in the supermarkets and at the outdoor markets . They are farm - raised , not wild . The flavor is mild - not gamey . Rabbit can be roasted , grilled , or stewed . In the past , we 've made Thai - style rabbit curries and Moroccan - style rabbit tajines , and rabbit couscous - not to mention shredded rabbit rillettes with duck fat . After marinating the cut up rabbit for nearly three hours , we grilled it . The marinade was a couple of heaping tablespoons of Dijon mustard , a quarter cup each of white vinegar and olive oil , a chopped shallot and a chopped garlic clove , some dried thyme , pinches of powdered cloves and allspice , and some salt and black pepper . It was a kind of vinaigrette , in fact . During the grilling , Walt basted the rabbit pieces with the leftover marinade a couple of times . When the pieces were slightly browned , he closed the lid of the grill and let the meat cook as if it were in the oven . The rabbit was cooked through and not dried out . They had promised us rain for the weekend , and we may get some this afternoon , but this morning the sky is perfectly clear . It 's almost time for the sun to rise . It 's cold outside . Above , sunrise on Thursday . Today , Saturday , it 's the same scene . Okay , the Télématin weather report is coming on right now : As usual , Saint - Aignan is right on the line , with rain and showers to the north ( Normandy , Paris ) and east ( Burgundy , Champagne , Picardy , Alsace , and so on ) and sun but cool weather to the south and west . We 'll find out what our weather is going to do when it does it . . . The vines are now covered in little leaves like the ones above . All the vegetation is much greener now than it was two or three weeks ago when I left for my American trip . I 've planted some vine canes in pots and most of them have leaves on them now . All you have to do is take a clipping at pruning time and stick the bottom end of it into dirt . It grows . Not this year , but in 2015 , I " ll have to pick places around the yard where I can plant my vines . The back yard is very green . Our mole colony seems to have moved on , mostly . The ground 's too dry for moles , since we are at the top of a hill . I hope it stays dry enough to keep the moles on lower ground , out in the woods , where there 's more moisture . I may regret their absence , though , if a lot of beetle larvae - mole prey - start eating the roots of our garden plants . We didn 't have enough freezing weather this past winter to kill such pests . It happened to me once before . Years ago . Walt and I were checking in for a flight over in Terminal 2 . The woman examining our passports and registering our luggage was just finishing up when an announcement was made over the intercom . I couldn 't quite hear what it was all about . But the Air France clerk suddenly tossed us our boarding passes and yelled : " We have to run ! Follow me ! " And we literally went running out of the terminal . We fully expected to hear and feel an explosion behind us . We didn 't . It was pretty exciting , all the same . Yesterday was a beautiful day here in Saint - Aignan . I went out and walked around the vineyard with the dog in the morning . The rest of the day , I was sort of in a daze . My body wanted to sleep , but I did my best to stay awake . I dozed off in front of the TV several times in the afternoon . It was probably a mistake to try to watch the latest recorded episodes of The Good Wife at that particular time . Today is gray and rain threatens . I slept for the second night in a row . I 'm optimistic about my jet - lag ending quickly , but I also know that just when you think it 's over it hits you again . By Monday , I should be in good shape . I will probably have a groggy Easter weekend . We will be cooking a rabbit . That 's what we do on Easter . It 's a 30 + - year - old tradition in this household . This time , I think we might grill the rabbit - if it doesn 't rain on Sunday - and baste it with a mustard sauce as it cooks . In the past , we 've made rabbit French - style ( en gibelotte ) , Thai - style ( in a coconut - milk curry ) , and other ways . Grilling it will be a first . Yesterday morning , right after I ate my croissant , drank my café crème , and finished my short blog post in Terminal 1 at Roissy - CDG airport , all hell broke loose . Everything had been going so smoothly . My plane had arrived 30 minutes early , I had breezed through passport control , and my bag had come out fairly quickly and in good condition . I strolled through customs and saw not a single douanier on duty . As I stepped out of the sort of food court into a wide hallway , a woman in uniform came running toward me and ordered me to get myself back into the food court . C ' est dangeureux ici , she barked . There were 10 or 12 security guards huddled together farther up the hallway . Earlier , I had heard an announcement on the airport intercom saying that a stray suitcase had been found near elevators A and B in Terminal 1 . The owner of the abandoned bag was instructed to come and fetch it immediately . Back in the food court , the announcement was made that elevators A and B were now closed to the public because the suitcase had not been claimed . It was suspicious and might contain a bomb . At that point , I didn 't even know where elevators A and B were located . I headed around the opposite side of the circular airport terminal from the closed off area , still looking for a men 's room ( too much coffee ) and hoping to make my way to the people - mover and get out of Terminal 1 while the getting was good . No such luck . I came to another roped - off area and another security guard who waved me off . Shouting , I asked how I could get to the CDGVal shuttle , and he pointed up toward the ceiling - go upstairs , he meant . I did . Upstairs was where all the people were . Thousands of them , I 'd estimate . Slowly , I navigated my way through the mass of passengers pushing luggage carts and dragging their rolling suitcases , still trying to locate the exit leading to the airport shuttle . Everything ground to a halt . I ended up standing in a long line that just kept getting longer , pressing up against a security cordon . I could see the sign for elevator B and CDGVal just a few dozen meters farther on . But there we stood . After about 15 minutes , a young airport employee walked down the line telling people who were headed for Terminal 2 that a bus shuttle service de substitution had been set up because access to the CDGVal trains was sealed off . I still had plenty of time , so I asked if the closure would last long . You 'd better go get the bus , the employee said . There was no telling when the CDGVal trains would start running again . By then , hundreds of people were ahead of me as we spilled out of the terminal onto the sidewalk and street . Car horns were honking all around us . Taxi drivers where shaking their fists at us and at each other . Buses , both the familiar Paris - style green and white shuttles and gigantic cars de touristes , were stacked up , their forward progress blocked by the crowds of people pushing carts and pulling suitcases onto the road . The doors of a shuttle bus at the head of the line opened and in an instant it was packed full of people hoping to make it to their planes in Terminal 2 and not miss their connections . By six o ' clock yesterday afternoon I was out , bleary - eyed , walking in the vineyard again . I didn 't look forward to hauling my heavy suitcase and two carry - on bags up the steps of a bus and pushing my way into a shuttle heaving with frustrated , panicked travelers ( like myself ) . Many hundreds us were still on the sidewalk and roadway . Just then , another airport employee came out of the terminal and started announcing to people in the crowd , almost one by one , that the abandoned suitcase in elevator B had been destroyed by the bomb squad . The CDGVal was running again . The herd of travelers immediately turned on its heel and streamed back into the terminal . It was slow going , what with luggage carts clipping my heels and wheely bags running over my toes . I knew that the first CDGVal trains to Terminal 2 would be like so many cans of sardines , but it was better to go that way than to wait for a second shuttle bus to show up out on the street . I let myself be swept away by the migrating horde . After all that , everything calmed down again . I found my way to the TGV station in Terminal 2 sans problème - I still had an hour to wait . I found a place to sit down and read for a while . Groggy after a sleepless night on the plane , and wondering jet - laggedly what time it really was , pretty soon I was seated in first class on the TGV and traveling toward Tours . The train was 20 minutes late - I don 't know why - but when I stepped onto the platform at Saint - Pierre - des - Corps 90 minutes later , Walt was standing there waiting for me .
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There was some discussion on Days on the Claise last week about the new Musée de la Préhistoire building at Le Grand - Pressigny . Some said it looked like a bunker or blockhouse in one of the photos posted there . All seemed to agree that the interior of the new museum building was very nice , even if the exterior put some off . Above is a photo I took a year or two ago that shows the museum building from a different angle . I 'm standing north of the château complex , looking back toward the town . The château was in ruins long before the new museum building was added . The older - still and taller towers framing the museum building date back to the 12th century . The Michelin green guide says there 's a very impressive view from the top of the round tower , called the Tour Vironne . I 've never been up there . Has anyone reading this seen that view ? This morning I woke up at 6 and , again , I noticed that it wasn 't at all dark outside . The birds were chirping cheerfully . Another day was dawning . That 's the nice thing about this time of year when you live so far north . At more than 47º of latitude , Saint - Aignan is farther north than Montreal , Quebec , Duluth , Fargo , or Billings - it 's about the same as Seattle and Spokane . Our sunrise today is at 6 : 40 a . m . ( right now ) , and sunset will be just after 9 p . m . this evening . All that , and we are still six or seven weeks away from the summer solstice . These long hours of sunlight will be with us until well into August . Speaking of long hours , the mass of May holidays in France begins this week . This Thursday is May 1 , which is a big public holiday here . May 8 , the following Thursday , is also a big public holiday , celebrating Victory in Europe , or the end of World War II 69 years ago . Another May holiday , one that always falls on a Thursday , is May 29 and is called L ' Ascension . It 's a Catholic holiday that marks Christ 's return to heaven forty days after his crucifixion and resurrection at Easter . All that got me searching back through my own blog to see if I had any photos of the Richelieu market hall , which was built in the 17th century out of chestnut logs . I remembered going there with our friend Cheryl in 2003 , and again with our friend CHM in 2006 . Actually , as far as the years when we were there , I had to do some searching to pin them down . Above is a photo of the market structure that I took in 2003 . It has been greatly refurbished recently , as Susan wrote . Richelieu itself is interesting as an example of a " new " town that was built from scratch starting in 1631 . The Cardinal Richelieu was a powerful political figure of the time and served as the French king 's prime minister . We went back to Richelieu in 2006 and I took the photo above . It was a quick visit . I have a vague memory of little boys on bicycles racing around between the wooden posts that hold up the market hall ceiling . The famous cardinal built himself a magnificent château outside his " new town " of Richelieu but it was demolished in the 18th and 19th centuries as a symbol of Ancien Régime opulence . Nothing much remains of that , but the market hall is impressive . I need to drive back over there one of these days to see how it has been fixed up . It must be because we had such a mild winter , and so much rain . The lilac bush that we planted a few years ago has flowers on it , even though this was supposed to be an off - year . It flowered last year , so we didn 't expect to see any lilacs in 2014 . The irises are more predictable . They were planted in different spots around the yard when we got here eleven years ago , and they produce a lot of big bluish flowers every spring . Maybe there are more iris blossoms than in past years . Again , the profusion has to be weather - related The forecast is for light rain all day long today . Yesterday morning , when the bread lady came by , I went out to buy a baguette . I looked up toward the sky . « C ' est gris » was all la porteuse de pain had to say about the situation . Yes , this the right blog . And this is Callie the border collie , who has lived with us for nearly seven years now . We brought her home at the beginning of May in 2007 . Callie 's domaine is the Renaudière vineyard . She explores it twice a day , sniffing all around for traces of deer and other wild animals . And once in a while she gets to chase a deer . A chase from time to time keeps her alert and hopeful . I planted the tree - two trees , really , that are growing together - as an experiment . And I planted them as much for their white springtime flowers and dark red foliage as for any fruit I might get . I grew them from pits that came from our neighbors ' plum tree , but the plums are completely different from the ones on their tree . Right now , for example , the plums on their tree are still green . The ones on my tree are dark red , as you can see . As I said , maybe some rain and then some sun will plump them up and ripen them this spring . Over the years , the crop has always been scant . They are wild plums , I guess . That means the trees are hardy , and the plums are small . Another neighbor of ours has a huge tree of the same kind in his yard . I haven 't yet walked over to see if it is also full of little red plums this year . Out in the vineyard , the vines are starting to produce flowers . I 'm not sure if this is early , but it seems early to me . The weather has been very mild for months now - since early December - and it 's been warm for about a month already . I took these photos yesterday morning . The weather was obviously nice , and the light was pretty . Today it 's foggy outside . I think we 're going into a rainy period . I 've been back in Saint - Aignan for a week now , and I 'm just starting to feel like doing some work in the yard and the garden . In about three weeks , it will be time to start planting tomatoes , eggplants , and other summer crops . At http : / / en . wikipedia . org / wiki / Pappus _ % 28flower _ structure % 29 , I see : " The pappus is the modified calyx , the part of an individual disk , ray or ligule floret surrounding the base of the corolla , in flower heads of the plant family Asteraceae . The pappus may be composed of bristles ( sometimes feathery ) , awns , scales , or may be absent . In some species , the pappus is too small to see without magnification . In some species , such as Dandelion or Eupatorium , feathery bristles of the pappus function as a " parachute " which enables the seed to be carried by the wind . The name derives from the Ancient Greek word pappos , Latin pappus , meaning " old man " , so used for a plant ( assumed to be an Erigeron species ) having bristles and also for the woolly , hairy seed of certain plants . " It rained all day yesterday . Not a hard rain , but a steady one . Today , I don 't know what to expect . This morning , I 've been sitting here enjoying looking at photos that I took in North Carolina last week . It 's pure escapism . I 'm glad to be back in France but I miss home just a little . I don 't know about you , but when I travel back to a familiar place , it takes a while for my eyes to adjust . At first , nothing I see corresponds to the vision of the place that I have stored in my mind . The roads are wider , for example , and flatter , and less scenic . There are too many traffic lights and electrical wires . The houses look more fragile , and less well maintained than I remember . Everything looks almost shabby at first . That 's how I felt when I arrived in Morehead City on April 1 . It 's the town where I was born and where I spent the first 20 years of my life . Most of my family still lives there . I go visit every year . I love the place , but I can 't imagine ever living there again . The eye - adjustment thing used to happen to me during the years when I lived in San Francisco and would come spend one , two , or three weeks on vacation in France . That was when I realized what was going on . Riding home in the taxi from SFO airport , I 'd look around and be surprised by what I saw . Wide highways with too many cars on them . Ticky - tacky wood - frame houses perched on hillsides , about to slide down , and painted in funny colors , looking very temporary . Way too many utility poles and wires everywhere . It didn 't look pretty - though everybody knows how beautiful San Francisco is . I think the same thing used to happen when I 'd return to Paris after months or years in the States . The city would look dirty , and the buildings run - down . Everybody was dressed in dark colors and had greasy hair . I 'd have to wait several days for my eyes to adjust . " I don 't have my Paris eyes on yet , " I 'd think , when I found myself wondering what I had ever found attractive and charming about the place . The lesson is : don 't rush to judge a place . Give it time . I don 't feel the same way about the neighborhood where we live now . I guess it 's because it 's not in a big town or city , and because it 's mostly green - especially at this time of year . I realize here that I 've already had my Saint - Aignan eyes on for a good week . Looking back at my photos , I can enjoy seeing what my North Carolina eyes were focused on not so many days ago . Rabbit is a very good food . It 's white meat and very lean . Yes , it 's a little like chicken , but a little different too . One of the classic French ways to prepare rabbit is with ( Dijon ) mustard . That 's what we did yesterday . In France , rabbits are available year round , fresh , in the supermarkets and at the outdoor markets . They are farm - raised , not wild . The flavor is mild - not gamey . Rabbit can be roasted , grilled , or stewed . In the past , we 've made Thai - style rabbit curries and Moroccan - style rabbit tajines , and rabbit couscous - not to mention shredded rabbit rillettes with duck fat . After marinating the cut up rabbit for nearly three hours , we grilled it . The marinade was a couple of heaping tablespoons of Dijon mustard , a quarter cup each of white vinegar and olive oil , a chopped shallot and a chopped garlic clove , some dried thyme , pinches of powdered cloves and allspice , and some salt and black pepper . It was a kind of vinaigrette , in fact . During the grilling , Walt basted the rabbit pieces with the leftover marinade a couple of times . When the pieces were slightly browned , he closed the lid of the grill and let the meat cook as if it were in the oven . The rabbit was cooked through and not dried out . They had promised us rain for the weekend , and we may get some this afternoon , but this morning the sky is perfectly clear . It 's almost time for the sun to rise . It 's cold outside . Above , sunrise on Thursday . Today , Saturday , it 's the same scene . Okay , the Télématin weather report is coming on right now : As usual , Saint - Aignan is right on the line , with rain and showers to the north ( Normandy , Paris ) and east ( Burgundy , Champagne , Picardy , Alsace , and so on ) and sun but cool weather to the south and west . We 'll find out what our weather is going to do when it does it . . . The vines are now covered in little leaves like the ones above . All the vegetation is much greener now than it was two or three weeks ago when I left for my American trip . I 've planted some vine canes in pots and most of them have leaves on them now . All you have to do is take a clipping at pruning time and stick the bottom end of it into dirt . It grows . Not this year , but in 2015 , I " ll have to pick places around the yard where I can plant my vines . The back yard is very green . Our mole colony seems to have moved on , mostly . The ground 's too dry for moles , since we are at the top of a hill . I hope it stays dry enough to keep the moles on lower ground , out in the woods , where there 's more moisture . I may regret their absence , though , if a lot of beetle larvae - mole prey - start eating the roots of our garden plants . We didn 't have enough freezing weather this past winter to kill such pests . It happened to me once before . Years ago . Walt and I were checking in for a flight over in Terminal 2 . The woman examining our passports and registering our luggage was just finishing up when an announcement was made over the intercom . I couldn 't quite hear what it was all about . But the Air France clerk suddenly tossed us our boarding passes and yelled : " We have to run ! Follow me ! " And we literally went running out of the terminal . We fully expected to hear and feel an explosion behind us . We didn 't . It was pretty exciting , all the same . Yesterday was a beautiful day here in Saint - Aignan . I went out and walked around the vineyard with the dog in the morning . The rest of the day , I was sort of in a daze . My body wanted to sleep , but I did my best to stay awake . I dozed off in front of the TV several times in the afternoon . It was probably a mistake to try to watch the latest recorded episodes of The Good Wife at that particular time . Today is gray and rain threatens . I slept for the second night in a row . I 'm optimistic about my jet - lag ending quickly , but I also know that just when you think it 's over it hits you again . By Monday , I should be in good shape . I will probably have a groggy Easter weekend . We will be cooking a rabbit . That 's what we do on Easter . It 's a 30 + - year - old tradition in this household . This time , I think we might grill the rabbit - if it doesn 't rain on Sunday - and baste it with a mustard sauce as it cooks . In the past , we 've made rabbit French - style ( en gibelotte ) , Thai - style ( in a coconut - milk curry ) , and other ways . Grilling it will be a first . Yesterday morning , right after I ate my croissant , drank my café crème , and finished my short blog post in Terminal 1 at Roissy - CDG airport , all hell broke loose . Everything had been going so smoothly . My plane had arrived 30 minutes early , I had breezed through passport control , and my bag had come out fairly quickly and in good condition . I strolled through customs and saw not a single douanier on duty . As I stepped out of the sort of food court into a wide hallway , a woman in uniform came running toward me and ordered me to get myself back into the food court . C ' est dangeureux ici , she barked . There were 10 or 12 security guards huddled together farther up the hallway . Earlier , I had heard an announcement on the airport intercom saying that a stray suitcase had been found near elevators A and B in Terminal 1 . The owner of the abandoned bag was instructed to come and fetch it immediately . Back in the food court , the announcement was made that elevators A and B were now closed to the public because the suitcase had not been claimed . It was suspicious and might contain a bomb . At that point , I didn 't even know where elevators A and B were located . I headed around the opposite side of the circular airport terminal from the closed off area , still looking for a men 's room ( too much coffee ) and hoping to make my way to the people - mover and get out of Terminal 1 while the getting was good . No such luck . I came to another roped - off area and another security guard who waved me off . Shouting , I asked how I could get to the CDGVal shuttle , and he pointed up toward the ceiling - go upstairs , he meant . I did . Upstairs was where all the people were . Thousands of them , I 'd estimate . Slowly , I navigated my way through the mass of passengers pushing luggage carts and dragging their rolling suitcases , still trying to locate the exit leading to the airport shuttle . Everything ground to a halt . I ended up standing in a long line that just kept getting longer , pressing up against a security cordon . I could see the sign for elevator B and CDGVal just a few dozen meters farther on . But there we stood . After about 15 minutes , a young airport employee walked down the line telling people who were headed for Terminal 2 that a bus shuttle service de substitution had been set up because access to the CDGVal trains was sealed off . I still had plenty of time , so I asked if the closure would last long . You 'd better go get the bus , the employee said . There was no telling when the CDGVal trains would start running again . By then , hundreds of people were ahead of me as we spilled out of the terminal onto the sidewalk and street . Car horns were honking all around us . Taxi drivers where shaking their fists at us and at each other . Buses , both the familiar Paris - style green and white shuttles and gigantic cars de touristes , were stacked up , their forward progress blocked by the crowds of people pushing carts and pulling suitcases onto the road . The doors of a shuttle bus at the head of the line opened and in an instant it was packed full of people hoping to make it to their planes in Terminal 2 and not miss their connections . By six o ' clock yesterday afternoon I was out , bleary - eyed , walking in the vineyard again . I didn 't look forward to hauling my heavy suitcase and two carry - on bags up the steps of a bus and pushing my way into a shuttle heaving with frustrated , panicked travelers ( like myself ) . Many hundreds us were still on the sidewalk and roadway . Just then , another airport employee came out of the terminal and started announcing to people in the crowd , almost one by one , that the abandoned suitcase in elevator B had been destroyed by the bomb squad . The CDGVal was running again . The herd of travelers immediately turned on its heel and streamed back into the terminal . It was slow going , what with luggage carts clipping my heels and wheely bags running over my toes . I knew that the first CDGVal trains to Terminal 2 would be like so many cans of sardines , but it was better to go that way than to wait for a second shuttle bus to show up out on the street . I let myself be swept away by the migrating horde . After all that , everything calmed down again . I found my way to the TGV station in Terminal 2 sans problème - I still had an hour to wait . I found a place to sit down and read for a while . Groggy after a sleepless night on the plane , and wondering jet - laggedly what time it really was , pretty soon I was seated in first class on the TGV and traveling toward Tours . The train was 20 minutes late - I don 't know why - but when I stepped onto the platform at Saint - Pierre - des - Corps 90 minutes later , Walt was standing there waiting for me .
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I have discovered crafty , decorating blogs . I love doing things to my house and these blogs help me with ideas . Well I was clicking through some blogs a little before Christmas and found this post about making bookmarks . I thought they were SO cute and wanted to try it , so I clicked over to this post to show me how to make them . That night I went to Hobby Lobby ( don 't you just love that store ) and bought the materials . I got different charms to fit the friends I was making them for , like for my friend Lyndsey , I got her a flip flop charm . I got a charm for myself too , a whale tail . It was not hard at all to make them and I really hope that my friends enjoy . They made cute little gifts . Try it ! * * I couldn 't post about this earlier because I didn 't want to ruin the surprise of my little gifts . Last week I got the idea to have a High School Musical get together for Jamison . She has never seen the movie but since it has music and dancing I thought she would enjoy it . So I invited over two of her friends from school . I was excited . I had the popcorn all ready , put down some sheets on the floor and had cups with drinks . The girls ended up watching the movie for all of 15 or 20 minutes and then they wanted to play . I was disappointed because I always have these ideas of how things are going to be , but I have to remember that my ideas may not always be Jamison ideas . . . so , off to play they went . It was cute while it lasted : The girls in their 15 minutes of movie watching . . . Allison , Jamison , Hannah and Annika ( Hannah 's sister ) . This past Sunday I had sort of a playgroup reunion . My friend Lyndsey came up with the idea of having a playgroup shortly after her oldest , Quinn , was born . The first one was when Quinn was 3 months and Jamison was 1 month . At that time it was more for the moms to talk . Over time we included the dads and it ended up being Lyndsey , me and a couple from Lyndsey 's childbirth class , John and Erin . We would get together about once a month , eat and play . About a year and a half ago John and Erin moved to North Carolina and then to Pittsburgh . Now we try to get together whenever they are in town . Since they were in town for Christmas we decided to get together and have the kids do a gift exchange ( Lyndsey and Josh have added Drew to the group and John and Erin have added Emma and Brady ) . We had breakfast and the kids had a lot of fun playing with one another . A good time was had by all . Here 's Lyndsey helping Quinn with his new toy . . . Ben 10 . Emma with her new baby doll . We were also able to give her this 8 piece babydoll set that Jamison never used . Megan and JamisonThe original 3 . . . Jamison , Quinn and Megan . I can 't believe they are 5 now . It 's so fun to see how much they 've grown . Ever since Jamison 's second Christmas ( she was only 3 months for her first Christmas ) I have bought her and then Caleb Christmas pajamas to wear for Christmas morning . For whatever reason , this year I didn 't get it together in time to get jammies for them . So , I thought in honor of the jammies I 'd take a trip down jammie memory lane . Walk with me . . . Christmas 2004 . . . the footed snowflake jammies . This is when Ron would call her Thing 1 ( from Cat in the Hat ) . She was adorable . Christmas 2005 , the Santa - striped jammies . Christmas 2006 . . . the candy cane - heart jammies . This was our first Christmas in our new house . Christmas 2007 . . . Caleb 's first Christmas . This year I bought them matching jammies . Next year I 'll be back with it and the tradition will continue . Ooh , maybe there are some good sales and I can buy them in advance . . . hmmm . This year we had a very low key Christmas and we enjoyed every minute ! On Christmas Eve my mom , her sisters and cousin came over to our house for dinner . For as long as I remember Christmas Eve was always celebrated at my great - grandmother 's house . Since she past away last year I decided to have everyone over to our house this year . It was very nice to get together and keep the tradition of us getting together on Christmas Eve going . We had great food too , turkey , ham , dressing , mac and cheese , greens . . . and my mom made a 5 - flavor pound cake , it 's her specialty . Here 's Caleb opening Aunt Tammy 's gift , a truck . . . perfect . Aunt Roni gave Caleb this toy and it was a hit with him too ! Jamison and Clarissa , my Aunt Tammy 's daughter . I don 't know why Jamison doesn 't look at the camera . Uncle Bobby bouncing Caleb . You can tell he was having a ball . For that past couple of years my mom has spent the night on Christmas Eve to wake up with us on Christmas morning . It works out really well . This year we were even able to video tape the kids opening their gifts . They say some really cute things and it was great to be able to capture that on film . Here 's Caleb and his new Little Einsteins laptop . He loves it . Jamison let me wear this crown that went to her doll because she told me that I 'm the queen . She took this picture of me . Here 's Jamison posing with her gifts . After opening gifts my mom made breakfast . . . french toast , eggs and bacon , YUM ! Then basically the rest of the day we played with toys and just enjoyed being with one another . It was nice not to have to go anywhere . That evening we drove around to see all of the lights in our neighborhood . It was a nice way to end a great day . How did you spend Christmas ? I was tagged by reading and commenting on this blog . These are always fun to read so I 'm playing along ! The Rules : * Link to the person who tagged you . * Share 7 random / weird facts about you . * Tag 7 people at the end of the post , and include links to their blogs . 1 . I have a thing about colored pens . I can 't just write in black or blue , I have pens in all sorts of colors and I use them all . 2 . My favorite holiday is Valentine 's Day . I try and buy small , thoughtful gifts for all of my loved ones . Caleb was also due on Valentine 's Day ! 3 . My food can 't touch . . . well some can but other 's can 't . I almost always have to have my vegetables in a separate bowl . Makes for a lot of dishes . 4 . Speaking of dishes . . . I love doing the dishes . 5 . When I was younger I was involved in almost every activity . . . tap , ballet , swimming , gymnastics , karate ( I have a yellow belt ! ) , volleyball , violin , art , basketball . . . you name it ! 6 . I love tote bags . I always carry one with me to work . . . it has my planner , notebooks , pens ( of course ) and my To Do stuff . I feel weird without it . 7 . I love picture frames . If I didn 't have a thing about clutter I 'd have them all over my house . I tag anyone who wants to participate . Ok , so I 'm so excited to say . . . Evan has a girlfriend ! And I don 't mean it like he 's a dud and couldn 't get a girlfriend because he is SO a catch , but he has been wise in when to say someone is his girlfriend . Well , he told me recently that a young lady that I met while we were in Cleveland is now his girlfriend . And here she is ( she is the one on the right ) : Her name is Brittany and she is as cute as a button ( why is that an expression . . . anyways ) . She is a sweetheart and I can tell that she is as smart as she is sweet . She has the most beautiful red hair too . I 'm so happy for my bro because he is a great guy and deserves a great gal . : ) Written with love by I think I 've posted about this before . . . but since my aunt 's daughter past away she hasn 't been to my house to watch the kids . Well that time is up and she returns tomorrow . I am thankful that people stepped up to the plate to watch the kids so that we could give her the time that she needed . She is excited to come back and the kids are excited to see her . YEAH ! ! ! ! . . . that I updated about last weekend . Long post ahead . First , on Saturday morning I had a cookie exchange to go to . Have you ever been to one of these ? They are wonderful . You make a couple dozen cookies ( more depending on the host and the number of people involved ) and you come home with a couple dozen cookies . This was the second year that Lyndsey and her mom have had their cookie exchange . This year I made frosted sugar cookies . They turned out really well if I do say so myself . We had good food , good company and went home with cookies . . . can 't get much better than that . AND , they even had prizes . Those two are so cute . Here 's me with the hostess , Lyndsey . My mom came too . . . don 't we look cute ? I brought drinks and I tried to be cute by adding the red ribbon . Here are the cookies that I made . I had some with red frosting too . . . festive ! The ones to the right of mine are the ones that my mom made , jam thumb prints . I thought this cookie jar was SO cute . Here 's Lyndsey 's husband 's cousin 's wife ( follow me ? ) . She had on the cutest headband , so I took her picture . That night was Rondell 's dad 's family 's Christmas party . Rondell 's dad and his siblings get together and put on this huge dinner . It is so nice of them to do ! This year they had a kids ' table all set up with crayons , coloring books and toys . We ate late , but the food was really good . The happy couple . Here is Jamison in the outfit that she could not wait to wear ! Three generations . Here 's Rondell 's dad , who Caleb is named after . Everyone calls him Randy but his name is Caleb . Jamison and her cousins . On Sunday our Small Group had its Christmas party . The first time Rondell and I went to our Small Group , it was for the Christmas party . That was four years ago ! My friend Jodie and I put everything together . We had it at her house and she made all the food and I helped with the favors and setting up . We had such a great time . It was very comfortable and casual . I brought a word scramble with Bible books . It was SO hard . Everyone had a good time trying to figure it out . . . NaWritten with love by This recipe is really from my friend Jodie , but I made them this weekend for Lyndsey 's cookie party . They turned out really well . . . almost as good as Jodie 's ! Frosted Sugar Cookies 1 1 / 2 cup powder sugar1 cup butter , softened1 egg1 tsp vanilla1 / 2 tsp almost extract2 1 / 2 cups flour 1 tsp baking soda1 tsp cream of tartar Mix sugar and butter until well blended . Add egg and flavorings . Mix well . Stir in dry ingredients . Refrigerate for 2 - 3 hours . Roll into balls and place on ungreased cookie sheet . Bake at 375 for 7 - 8 minutes . For frosting : 2 cups powder sugar1 / 4 cup shortening2 tbs milk1 / 2 tsp vanillafood coloring ( optional ) Mix together sugar and shortening . Gradually mix in the milk and vanilla until smooth and stiff ( you can add a little more milk , if needed ) . Color with food coloring if desired . Frost cookies . I have some catching up to do . We had a lot going on this weekend so stay tuned for a few posts in a row ! I also made my first craft off of a blog and am very pleased with the result . Since I made one for my friend Lyndsey for her birthday , I 'll till I give it to her to post about it . You put your child on time out and then forget she 's there ! Last night my mom came over for pizza . After dinner while she and I were talking the kids were watching TV and Ron was upstairs . Well Jamison kept standing right in front of the TV and I kept telling her to move back ( because if not then Caleb gets upset because he can 't see and then a fight usually breaks out ) . Well the third time I asked her " how many times to I have to ask you to move back ? " And her response . . . " three . " My mom and I fought back laughter . So the fourth time I put her on time out . Well , my mom and I continued our conversation for I don 't know how long . Rondell came downstairs and asked me what Jamison did . I said " why do you ask ? " and he said because she was in time out . I had completely forgotten all about her . It had probably been a good 15 minutes . Poor Jamison . Has this ever happened to you ? I 'm at home today because Paw Paw has the stomach flu ( thanks to Caleb ! ) . So , I walked Jamison to the bus stop this morning and Caleb , of course , was with me . The kids at the bus stop are all older than Jamison , except for Halle who is in her class . Still , Jamison gets along with them and they are very accepting of her . What was funny this morning was to watch Caleb interact with the other kids . He just stood in the middle of them taking in their conversations . I happened to have my camera on me ( from just having taken their picture for our Christmas card ) so I had to snap a shot of Caleb . Hangin with the big kids ! Remember when I told you that I won this contest . Well my prize recently came in the mail . It was so exciting to get a little package that was all my own . First I got these precious little notebooks . Since I am the queen of notebooks , this was perfect . I have one in my bible ( not pictured ) and these two are in my purse . I 'm going to use them to jot down prayer requests that I get . Look at the cute covers ! This little guy is hanging on my front door to welcome each person as he or she comes in . It adds a special touch . Thanks so much Heather ! Written with love by This little girl just cracks me up and is sure to put a smile on my face . Yesterday I had plans to take Jamison and Caleb to the library and then to Kohl 's because they are both in desperate need of new clothes . After I got home from work I fed them and was trying to get them ready to leave . My in - laws were there ( because my father - in - law is still watching the kids for us ) and they offered to take Caleb with them to spend the night and then Mike would just bring him back in the morning . WONDERFUL ! I jumped right on the opportunity because it would be much easier to do my errands with just Jamison and I never get just me and Jamison time . Jamison was sad because she wanted to go with Maw Maw and Paw Paw too , but I bribed her with a toy and then she was OK . Jamison was so cute the whole time . She talked to me about all kinds of things and had me laughing out loud . I truly enjoyed spending that time with her . Once we got home I had her use the restroom before we put jammies on . One thing about Jamison is that she takes FOREVER in the bathroom , so I 'm always yelling for her to hurry up . So , last night it was more of the same and her response to me was " Mom , I 'm talking to God and Jesus . " How could I possibly rush that ? My response to her was " tell them I said hi . " And she did . Sweet girl . Jamison 's teacher just emailed me this picture . Here is Jamison reading her book to her Kindergarten class . It 's the book she read last night and I remember her saying that she wanted to take it to school with her ( she must have then put in her bookbag ) . I 'm glad that her teacher let her read it to the class because I 'm sure she was so happy to do that . My friend Lyndsey invited me to go to dinner and a movie with her and her friends Amber and Stephanie this weekend . With Rondell working and the the kids gone and I did not pass up on that opportunity . We went to dinner at Champp 's and then went to see Four Christmases . The company was really great and we had a nice time . The movie was hilarious . If you are looking for belly - aching , tear - inducing laughter , this movie is for you . Of course now that I 've talked it up you may not like it , but I have not laughed like that in a long time . Amber , Lyndsey and Stephanie Me and AmberOn Sunday Rondell and I woke up really early to leave for Cleveland . It was nice to drive just the two of us and wonderful conversation . I learned all about flat screen TVs and all that comes with them . Rondell really knows his stuff . We arrived at my dad 's around 10 : 30 . It was fun to see the kids and they were super excited to see us . I felt bad that we were coming in and then getting ready to leave for the game , but they were in good hands ( my siblings ' ) . Me and Ron on the way to Cleveland for his first NFL game ! The crowds headed to the game . I looked like a real tourist taking pictures . The Stadium ! We had club seats , so here we are waiting for the game to start and getting ready to have some stadium food . Our view . Me and Ron in the cold . Renee and Daddy . This was me by the second quarter , bundled . It wasn 't that bad though . Rondell and I had such a great time at the game . We are going to have to do that again . Thanks Renee for thinking of us !
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I have discovered crafty , decorating blogs . I love doing things to my house and these blogs help me with ideas . Well I was clicking through some blogs a little before Christmas and found this post about making bookmarks . I thought they were SO cute and wanted to try it , so I clicked over to this post to show me how to make them . That night I went to Hobby Lobby ( don 't you just love that store ) and bought the materials . I got different charms to fit the friends I was making them for , like for my friend Lyndsey , I got her a flip flop charm . I got a charm for myself too , a whale tail . It was not hard at all to make them and I really hope that my friends enjoy . They made cute little gifts . Try it ! * * I couldn 't post about this earlier because I didn 't want to ruin the surprise of my little gifts . Last week I got the idea to have a High School Musical get together for Jamison . She has never seen the movie but since it has music and dancing I thought she would enjoy it . So I invited over two of her friends from school . I was excited . I had the popcorn all ready , put down some sheets on the floor and had cups with drinks . The girls ended up watching the movie for all of 15 or 20 minutes and then they wanted to play . I was disappointed because I always have these ideas of how things are going to be , but I have to remember that my ideas may not always be Jamison ideas . . . so , off to play they went . It was cute while it lasted : The girls in their 15 minutes of movie watching . . . Allison , Jamison , Hannah and Annika ( Hannah 's sister ) . This past Sunday I had sort of a playgroup reunion . My friend Lyndsey came up with the idea of having a playgroup shortly after her oldest , Quinn , was born . The first one was when Quinn was 3 months and Jamison was 1 month . At that time it was more for the moms to talk . Over time we included the dads and it ended up being Lyndsey , me and a couple from Lyndsey 's childbirth class , John and Erin . We would get together about once a month , eat and play . About a year and a half ago John and Erin moved to North Carolina and then to Pittsburgh . Now we try to get together whenever they are in town . Since they were in town for Christmas we decided to get together and have the kids do a gift exchange ( Lyndsey and Josh have added Drew to the group and John and Erin have added Emma and Brady ) . We had breakfast and the kids had a lot of fun playing with one another . A good time was had by all . Here 's Lyndsey helping Quinn with his new toy . . . Ben 10 . Emma with her new baby doll . We were also able to give her this 8 piece babydoll set that Jamison never used . Megan and JamisonThe original 3 . . . Jamison , Quinn and Megan . I can 't believe they are 5 now . It 's so fun to see how much they 've grown . Ever since Jamison 's second Christmas ( she was only 3 months for her first Christmas ) I have bought her and then Caleb Christmas pajamas to wear for Christmas morning . For whatever reason , this year I didn 't get it together in time to get jammies for them . So , I thought in honor of the jammies I 'd take a trip down jammie memory lane . Walk with me . . . Christmas 2004 . . . the footed snowflake jammies . This is when Ron would call her Thing 1 ( from Cat in the Hat ) . She was adorable . Christmas 2005 , the Santa - striped jammies . Christmas 2006 . . . the candy cane - heart jammies . This was our first Christmas in our new house . Christmas 2007 . . . Caleb 's first Christmas . This year I bought them matching jammies . Next year I 'll be back with it and the tradition will continue . Ooh , maybe there are some good sales and I can buy them in advance . . . hmmm . This year we had a very low key Christmas and we enjoyed every minute ! On Christmas Eve my mom , her sisters and cousin came over to our house for dinner . For as long as I remember Christmas Eve was always celebrated at my great - grandmother 's house . Since she past away last year I decided to have everyone over to our house this year . It was very nice to get together and keep the tradition of us getting together on Christmas Eve going . We had great food too , turkey , ham , dressing , mac and cheese , greens . . . and my mom made a 5 - flavor pound cake , it 's her specialty . Here 's Caleb opening Aunt Tammy 's gift , a truck . . . perfect . Aunt Roni gave Caleb this toy and it was a hit with him too ! Jamison and Clarissa , my Aunt Tammy 's daughter . I don 't know why Jamison doesn 't look at the camera . Uncle Bobby bouncing Caleb . You can tell he was having a ball . For that past couple of years my mom has spent the night on Christmas Eve to wake up with us on Christmas morning . It works out really well . This year we were even able to video tape the kids opening their gifts . They say some really cute things and it was great to be able to capture that on film . Here 's Caleb and his new Little Einsteins laptop . He loves it . Jamison let me wear this crown that went to her doll because she told me that I 'm the queen . She took this picture of me . Here 's Jamison posing with her gifts . After opening gifts my mom made breakfast . . . french toast , eggs and bacon , YUM ! Then basically the rest of the day we played with toys and just enjoyed being with one another . It was nice not to have to go anywhere . That evening we drove around to see all of the lights in our neighborhood . It was a nice way to end a great day . How did you spend Christmas ? I was tagged by reading and commenting on this blog . These are always fun to read so I 'm playing along ! The Rules : * Link to the person who tagged you . * Share 7 random / weird facts about you . * Tag 7 people at the end of the post , and include links to their blogs . 1 . I have a thing about colored pens . I can 't just write in black or blue , I have pens in all sorts of colors and I use them all . 2 . My favorite holiday is Valentine 's Day . I try and buy small , thoughtful gifts for all of my loved ones . Caleb was also due on Valentine 's Day ! 3 . My food can 't touch . . . well some can but other 's can 't . I almost always have to have my vegetables in a separate bowl . Makes for a lot of dishes . 4 . Speaking of dishes . . . I love doing the dishes . 5 . When I was younger I was involved in almost every activity . . . tap , ballet , swimming , gymnastics , karate ( I have a yellow belt ! ) , volleyball , violin , art , basketball . . . you name it ! 6 . I love tote bags . I always carry one with me to work . . . it has my planner , notebooks , pens ( of course ) and my To Do stuff . I feel weird without it . 7 . I love picture frames . If I didn 't have a thing about clutter I 'd have them all over my house . I tag anyone who wants to participate . Ok , so I 'm so excited to say . . . Evan has a girlfriend ! And I don 't mean it like he 's a dud and couldn 't get a girlfriend because he is SO a catch , but he has been wise in when to say someone is his girlfriend . Well , he told me recently that a young lady that I met while we were in Cleveland is now his girlfriend . And here she is ( she is the one on the right ) : Her name is Brittany and she is as cute as a button ( why is that an expression . . . anyways ) . She is a sweetheart and I can tell that she is as smart as she is sweet . She has the most beautiful red hair too . I 'm so happy for my bro because he is a great guy and deserves a great gal . : ) Written with love by I think I 've posted about this before . . . but since my aunt 's daughter past away she hasn 't been to my house to watch the kids . Well that time is up and she returns tomorrow . I am thankful that people stepped up to the plate to watch the kids so that we could give her the time that she needed . She is excited to come back and the kids are excited to see her . YEAH ! ! ! ! . . . that I updated about last weekend . Long post ahead . First , on Saturday morning I had a cookie exchange to go to . Have you ever been to one of these ? They are wonderful . You make a couple dozen cookies ( more depending on the host and the number of people involved ) and you come home with a couple dozen cookies . This was the second year that Lyndsey and her mom have had their cookie exchange . This year I made frosted sugar cookies . They turned out really well if I do say so myself . We had good food , good company and went home with cookies . . . can 't get much better than that . AND , they even had prizes . Those two are so cute . Here 's me with the hostess , Lyndsey . My mom came too . . . don 't we look cute ? I brought drinks and I tried to be cute by adding the red ribbon . Here are the cookies that I made . I had some with red frosting too . . . festive ! The ones to the right of mine are the ones that my mom made , jam thumb prints . I thought this cookie jar was SO cute . Here 's Lyndsey 's husband 's cousin 's wife ( follow me ? ) . She had on the cutest headband , so I took her picture . That night was Rondell 's dad 's family 's Christmas party . Rondell 's dad and his siblings get together and put on this huge dinner . It is so nice of them to do ! This year they had a kids ' table all set up with crayons , coloring books and toys . We ate late , but the food was really good . The happy couple . Here is Jamison in the outfit that she could not wait to wear ! Three generations . Here 's Rondell 's dad , who Caleb is named after . Everyone calls him Randy but his name is Caleb . Jamison and her cousins . On Sunday our Small Group had its Christmas party . The first time Rondell and I went to our Small Group , it was for the Christmas party . That was four years ago ! My friend Jodie and I put everything together . We had it at her house and she made all the food and I helped with the favors and setting up . We had such a great time . It was very comfortable and casual . I brought a word scramble with Bible books . It was SO hard . Everyone had a good time trying to figure it out . . . NaWritten with love by This recipe is really from my friend Jodie , but I made them this weekend for Lyndsey 's cookie party . They turned out really well . . . almost as good as Jodie 's ! Frosted Sugar Cookies 1 1 / 2 cup powder sugar1 cup butter , softened1 egg1 tsp vanilla1 / 2 tsp almost extract2 1 / 2 cups flour 1 tsp baking soda1 tsp cream of tartar Mix sugar and butter until well blended . Add egg and flavorings . Mix well . Stir in dry ingredients . Refrigerate for 2 - 3 hours . Roll into balls and place on ungreased cookie sheet . Bake at 375 for 7 - 8 minutes . For frosting : 2 cups powder sugar1 / 4 cup shortening2 tbs milk1 / 2 tsp vanillafood coloring ( optional ) Mix together sugar and shortening . Gradually mix in the milk and vanilla until smooth and stiff ( you can add a little more milk , if needed ) . Color with food coloring if desired . Frost cookies . I have some catching up to do . We had a lot going on this weekend so stay tuned for a few posts in a row ! I also made my first craft off of a blog and am very pleased with the result . Since I made one for my friend Lyndsey for her birthday , I 'll till I give it to her to post about it . You put your child on time out and then forget she 's there ! Last night my mom came over for pizza . After dinner while she and I were talking the kids were watching TV and Ron was upstairs . Well Jamison kept standing right in front of the TV and I kept telling her to move back ( because if not then Caleb gets upset because he can 't see and then a fight usually breaks out ) . Well the third time I asked her " how many times to I have to ask you to move back ? " And her response . . . " three . " My mom and I fought back laughter . So the fourth time I put her on time out . Well , my mom and I continued our conversation for I don 't know how long . Rondell came downstairs and asked me what Jamison did . I said " why do you ask ? " and he said because she was in time out . I had completely forgotten all about her . It had probably been a good 15 minutes . Poor Jamison . Has this ever happened to you ? I 'm at home today because Paw Paw has the stomach flu ( thanks to Caleb ! ) . So , I walked Jamison to the bus stop this morning and Caleb , of course , was with me . The kids at the bus stop are all older than Jamison , except for Halle who is in her class . Still , Jamison gets along with them and they are very accepting of her . What was funny this morning was to watch Caleb interact with the other kids . He just stood in the middle of them taking in their conversations . I happened to have my camera on me ( from just having taken their picture for our Christmas card ) so I had to snap a shot of Caleb . Hangin with the big kids ! Remember when I told you that I won this contest . Well my prize recently came in the mail . It was so exciting to get a little package that was all my own . First I got these precious little notebooks . Since I am the queen of notebooks , this was perfect . I have one in my bible ( not pictured ) and these two are in my purse . I 'm going to use them to jot down prayer requests that I get . Look at the cute covers ! This little guy is hanging on my front door to welcome each person as he or she comes in . It adds a special touch . Thanks so much Heather ! Written with love by This little girl just cracks me up and is sure to put a smile on my face . Yesterday I had plans to take Jamison and Caleb to the library and then to Kohl 's because they are both in desperate need of new clothes . After I got home from work I fed them and was trying to get them ready to leave . My in - laws were there ( because my father - in - law is still watching the kids for us ) and they offered to take Caleb with them to spend the night and then Mike would just bring him back in the morning . WONDERFUL ! I jumped right on the opportunity because it would be much easier to do my errands with just Jamison and I never get just me and Jamison time . Jamison was sad because she wanted to go with Maw Maw and Paw Paw too , but I bribed her with a toy and then she was OK . Jamison was so cute the whole time . She talked to me about all kinds of things and had me laughing out loud . I truly enjoyed spending that time with her . Once we got home I had her use the restroom before we put jammies on . One thing about Jamison is that she takes FOREVER in the bathroom , so I 'm always yelling for her to hurry up . So , last night it was more of the same and her response to me was " Mom , I 'm talking to God and Jesus . " How could I possibly rush that ? My response to her was " tell them I said hi . " And she did . Sweet girl . Jamison 's teacher just emailed me this picture . Here is Jamison reading her book to her Kindergarten class . It 's the book she read last night and I remember her saying that she wanted to take it to school with her ( she must have then put in her bookbag ) . I 'm glad that her teacher let her read it to the class because I 'm sure she was so happy to do that . My friend Lyndsey invited me to go to dinner and a movie with her and her friends Amber and Stephanie this weekend . With Rondell working and the the kids gone and I did not pass up on that opportunity . We went to dinner at Champp 's and then went to see Four Christmases . The company was really great and we had a nice time . The movie was hilarious . If you are looking for belly - aching , tear - inducing laughter , this movie is for you . Of course now that I 've talked it up you may not like it , but I have not laughed like that in a long time . Amber , Lyndsey and Stephanie Me and AmberOn Sunday Rondell and I woke up really early to leave for Cleveland . It was nice to drive just the two of us and wonderful conversation . I learned all about flat screen TVs and all that comes with them . Rondell really knows his stuff . We arrived at my dad 's around 10 : 30 . It was fun to see the kids and they were super excited to see us . I felt bad that we were coming in and then getting ready to leave for the game , but they were in good hands ( my siblings ' ) . Me and Ron on the way to Cleveland for his first NFL game ! The crowds headed to the game . I looked like a real tourist taking pictures . The Stadium ! We had club seats , so here we are waiting for the game to start and getting ready to have some stadium food . Our view . Me and Ron in the cold . Renee and Daddy . This was me by the second quarter , bundled . It wasn 't that bad though . Rondell and I had such a great time at the game . We are going to have to do that again . Thanks Renee for thinking of us !
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Day 22 , I did a brilliant thing , well if I say so . I made a child smile . I mean really is there a much nicer thing . Day 23 - I made a child cry . Ok , not really , but there have been many in our office today . I offered a co - worker hot cocoa , she 's have a not so great day . Am I not the most wonderful person ever . * sheepish grin * Where did I leave off ? Right Day 18 , that would have been Saturday . Well , let 's see , I listened to old farmer stories without groaning . I cleaned a pigs home and didn 't make it into sausage . I helped put up of a Christmas Tree . Day 19 , Sunday , I went to Kroger and boy the woman in front of me in line was a royal bitch to the cashier , so I tried to make conversation with her and smile a lot while she was sliding my stuff across the scanner . I 've been there , retail can suck around the holidays , people get stressed and they take it out on the wrong people . ( Have I ever told you the Big Red K - Christmas Layaway story ? If not , let me know I 'll make you cry , laugh , and maybe pee your pants , ok , not likely pee your pants . Day 20 , Monday . . . hmmm Monday , well I went to work , then went home because I was coughing all over everyone . Nothing big , gone now , simply allergies , sinus stuff . . . good times . . . so I guess my kind act was to not stay and cough all over everyone . * sheepish smile * Day 21 , thank goodness we are so close to Day 24 , I 'm just not a kind person I guess . Day 21 , well I had a friend give me some super tasty cookies , but wait that was not a kind act I did . Hmmmm . . . I 'm thinking . Hmmmm , I did listen to some really sad stories , but that 's my job . Yikes , I may have failed yesterday in making a kind act happen . I suck , oh wait , no , I randomly emailed a person to offer assistance if they needed it . . . vague I know , but the details will not make sense . Yeah , I do not suck , completely . I went to see a movie last night , I can 't honestly remember the last movie I went to . I think it might have been Get Him to the Greek , but that has been months ago . Anyway , I had little expectations of the movie going in , I had not seen any trailers for it ( it was at the dollar movie , so they would have been awhile ago ) , I had not heard any reviews either . It was actually very good . Ben was buff and HOT ! This just added a nice bonus to it . The plot was simple , but kept my attention . At one point , I was so into the movie , I almost jumped out of my skin with my friend tapped me on the shoulder to tell me something . I give The Town a solid B + . Go to your dollar movie or rent it , it 's worth your time , at least . . . in my opinion . Being kind can be a real challenge . Darn it ! The only kind thing I can think that I have done today was to keep my mouth shut . I had to go to a meeting this morning , lead by the President of the College . No worries , happy to go . Much of the meeting was the doom and gloom that higher education in Ohio is going to experience in the next 4 years with the new governor coming on board . There is a lot of uncertainty right now with what monies the governor will take away from education . I didn 't say a word , I simply listened , I could have screamed , " Who the hell voted for this idiot , I have yet to meet one person that will confess they did . " , but I didn 't , I kept my mouth firmly closed . I think sometimes saying nothing is kind . Missed posting yesterday . Opps , I had been so good for so long , record for me really . Yesterday however , I was in a meeting all morning , then in the afternoon I had work to do and then later in the evening I got sucked into a knitting project and simply didn 't make it on the blog at all . I know you missed me , didn 't ya . It 's so cold , I drug my space heater into work and figure I 'll let them pay the bill , and I 'll just rush into work everyday , just for the heat . It 's a win , win . * grin * I don 't mind the snow , the snow can stay , but can the temps go up just a bit , maybe to the low 30 's . Day 15 - I gave the presenter of the meeting a compliment . Stop - it does count . Day 16 - It 's still early , so there is room for another option , but I feel I was kind , when a woman in my office stopped in for the 100th time to say you haven 't decorated your office yet and I didn 't thump her on the head with my space heater . I mean good grief , I 've had an office for 6 days , give me a moment . I have other shit to do , also I 'm not lugging crap in , in this weather . It 's Friday tomorrow ! How cold is it ? It 's so cold it took the entire hot water tank to simply warm up the bathtub in my house so I could take a bubble bath . Usually some cool water is needed to make the temp agreeable , but not now . How cold is it ? It 's so cold , even the Columbus Police Department idiots can 't take the time to clean off their cars to have a clear view out their back window . ( I so badly wanted to let them know what a quality example they were for their fellow citizens , but alas it would have landed me in a cold cell and I make me late for work . ) ( Odd how two weeks in a row I have thoughts that would land my bum in a cold cell . Hmmm . ) How cold is it ? It 's so cold , even set at 62 degrees , the heat in my house ran most of the night . I 'm fearful to see the gas bill next month . Urbana was named after the town of Urbanna , Virgina . Urbanna means " City of Anne " and was named in honor of England 's Queen Anne . Andrew Theodore " Drew " Daniel was the winner of Big Brother 5 in 2004 . His hometown is Urbana , Ohio . Day 14 - This morning , my kind act again is keeping the Postal Service working . I sent another item in the mail to a friend . Why , well because I can and I think the person may like the item . Maybe not , I could be wrong , but well , will not be the first time . Day 12 - Ok , so my kind act on day 12 is a bit of a stretch , but a true one . My kind act was to not interact with others . I was not feeling 100 % and this was putting my in a bit of an emotional / pissy mood , so I didn 't leave my house but for a quick trip to the grocery store and gas station and I didn 't really talk with anyone . Day 13 - I think I 'll try to personally keep the Postal System up and running . ( Although , honestly , I feel they should close on Wednesday or Saturday , many a year ago , there was no Saturday delivery and although it might be an adjustment , people will complain and then adjust and it would be the new norm . ) My kind act today was to send a letter in the mail , hopefully it will bring an unexpected smile to the person that will receive it . I had to change my password for my computer stuff at work today . No worries , I 'll do the change . Darn it ! I changed it and it broke everything . Ok , not everything and it 's fixed now . However it was very annoying for a few hours there when I couldn 't do anything . I finally get a home of my own and then computer issues . ARGH ! Again it 's fixed now , I 'm getting over it , slowly . Day 10 - - I used a very scientific method to determine which of your worthy causes would be donated to today . Ok , so not so scientific , but it worked ok , I guess . I wrote them all down on a piece of paper then dropped the pencil , I planned to donate to the one the pencil was pointing to . As you can see , it didn 't really point to one , so I 'm going with the one it was closest to . M , I 'll be contacting you to find out the best way to donate my lunch money . This morning while driving to work , there were several people that decided to try and cross the street where there was no sidewalk . I felt like I was in a video game and my role was to take out the humans . I really wanted to try , but figured a jail cell would be kinda cold and I really need my job , so I decided to let the idiots live . No fun , darn it . Day 9 - I will be donating my lunch money to the Mid - Ohio Foodbank . I will be adding $ 3 more dollars to my planned amount for those that commented . Thanks for commenting ! Because you took the time to comment , tomorrow , I will use a very scientific way to choose one of the worthy causes you left in the comments to donate my lunch money to tomorrow . All of the restrooms in my building have been closed today , some kind of major plumbing issue . It must have been really bad because the smell of the cleaning fluid will just about knock you on your ass as soon as you walk into the hallway . Yikes . So , I have to travel to another building to tinkle . Yes , I said tinkle , get over it . * grin * As I walked into another building , I see a young lady sitting on the floor with several books and papers spread around her by the vending machines across the hall from the ladies room . It 's finals week , so it 's understandable that students are making the time to study . Why they choose the locations they do often just makes me shake my head . As I 'm just about to enter the ladies room I hear her say , " What about the enema ? " . WHAT ! ! ? ? ? I looked down at her thinking she had spoken to me , then I realize she is on her cell phone will reading through a textbook . Now , at this point , I carry on with my plan , but just keep running this picture through my head , I can 't help but smile . I 'm choosing to assume she is a health major student and the enema was part of the exam , otherwise , it 's just too much . Last night was the first night of The Sing Off on NBC . Love it ! Yeah ! I was amused by the name of the group Pitched Slapped . I have a feeling they were voted off , simply because they were afraid Nick would say something else on air . heeeheeee Day 7 - Today I will donate my lunch money to a worthy cause , but am choosing to keep the location to myself . I will make this donation , just as soon as I track down my checks . I wrote the last one yesterday to pay a bill and realized , crap , I have no more in my book . I don 't write checks often so it 's rare I run out . I 'm sure I have more , I just have to find where I have stored them and put pen to paper . Day 4 - Kind act . . . being nice to a senior citizen . ( I really wanted to say , not killing a pig . . . but it seemed too much . All of you who think you want a pig because they are cute and adorable , let me tell you they poop A LOT , you have to clean their home all the time , at least once a week . Also smaller pigs , those less than 250 pounds , well really any pig , they are like a 4 year old . The 4 year old that follows you around and ask , " Why " " Whatcha Doing " , etc . that 4 year old . On Saturday there was one pig that would not allow me to clean it 's home in peace , now mind you it 's home also included about 10 other pigs , so it was not alone . Her 4 year old behavior was to try and chew on the shovel every time I was pushing crap , literally , from one end of the home to the other to get it out of the pigs home . I understand pigs like a bit of ick to roll in , but too much ick is too much ick . Ok , I 'm done , sadly real Allie comes out , so much for 24 days of Kindness . ) Day 5 - Being kind to Mother Nature . I picked up trash someone left on the street . It took only a moment , but the street looked better and Mother Nature , I hope , was happier . PBJ Week . I have decided this week , I will pack my lunch with the somewhat inexpensive Peanut Butter and Strawberry Jam sandwich . I will use my leftover " lunch money " to contribute to some worthy , in my opinion , causes . I plan to donate my lunch money to the Mid - Ohio Foodbank later this week . I will add $ 1 to my planned amount for each person that posts a comment with what worthy cause you would donate to if you could . You can post anonymously , but put your initials in the comment , so I know one person is not posting more than once . You have until Thursday morning to post your comment . Pasta , Pasta , Pasta ! Rossi Pasta based out of Marietta , Ohio offers almost every kind of pasta you can imagine . The flavor selections are massive , everything from Chocolato Cabernet Tagliarni to Pumpkin Spice Fettuccini to Wild Mushroom to Southwestern Chipotle , just to name a few . They offer many stores in Ohio that carry some of the Rossi Pasta selection where you can walk in and put together a pasta gift box dream , you can order online , or you can road trip to the Rossi Pasta store in Marietta , Ohio . For those on your list that are kings or queens of the kitchen , you will delight them with not only the pasta to make a special meal , but a new recipe to go with it . Rossi Pasta 's website offers several recipe ideas , just print it off the web or add a personal touch and write it on a classic recipe card and include it with your hand selected pasta gift box . I like a little spice , so the Southwestern Chipotle and Chicken Fettuccini sounds aaaawweeeesoooommmeee ! ! ! ! I 'm going to have to take a road trip . Just read the description they have with this pasta choice . " Smoky , with a light but passionate hickory and cayenne bite , and a definite Tex - Mex influence . . . Recommended Accompaniments : Goes with everything Southwest : great under steaks or chili , excellent in cold pasta salads . Loves hot peppers , cheese , and margaritas . " Margaritas ? Sold ! Learn more . . . Rossi Pasta . Well this morning , I had no real goal for my " kind " action today . I thought I would just let it come to me . It did , early . I had to go across campus to the building the main student lounge is in . I walked in to see a few students playing table tennis . What a good way to get out some anxious feelings about exams . As I walked past , a mighty hit was completed from one of the students , the ball went flying . I could have just kept walking , but instead I retrieved the ball for the players . See being kind does not require a huge act it can be something quite simple . Kind act done . However , Karma seemed to feel I needed tested today . One of my appointments this morning was VERY stretching . . . this is this first true stretching student I 've encountered since starting my new job . I was frustrated when the student first left the office , but now , eh - it was a blip in the day . I say BAZINGA ! because it makes me smile . From me to you . . . The OU marching band began in 1923 . The name " Marching 110 " originally referred to the number of band members in 1967 but the band has since expanded . The 110 now stands for the 110 % effort expected of all members at all times . In 1967 , Women are eliminated from the OU Marching Band . Yep that 's right we kicked them out . In 1975 they were allowed back in . Just in time to be the first marching band to perform at Carnegie Hall . Today I will mail a card to Holiday Mail for Heroes . The Red Cross is collecting holiday cards for the 4th year in a row . They will distribute the card to service members , their families , and veterans all over the world . If you would like to mail your own holiday card , simply address the card to Holiday Mail for Heroes Today is December 1 , it is easy to become a Humbug this time of year , especially in Ohio with the winter weather . I have decided that to avoid this , I am going to implement 24 days of kindness . Now , I debated on how to do this . My goal is not to boost , but to encourage others to also think about what they can do , so instead of just giving you ideas , I tell you what " kind " thing I have done for the day , don 't feel you need to limit yourself to just one though . Today , I mailed a card to someone . Just because it will likely put a smile on her face when she gets it . This person is not a blog reader and will have no knowledge of my plan , which makes it more fun . Leave it to me to make being kind all about me . Enjoy the first day of December and keep in mind your worries are your worries , but there is someone hurting or worrying about worse stuff out there . Think of others today and be kind . Published with Blogger - droid v1 . 6 . 5 Toothpicks , anybody have a few toothpicks I can borrow ? My eyes keep dropping closed , not good since I still have about two hours left of my work day . ARGH ! I can not figure out exactly why one gets so silly tired when they are just driving . Oh well , I will be taking a nap soon , as soon as my little car can take me home and I can stumble up the steps to the bed . Most everyone was good natured this morning , well except one lady who dropped a pillow . When I went to pick it up to help her out , she nearly kicked my hand off , yikes . Black Friday Lotto , sometimes you win , sometimes you don 't . Based in Newark , Ohio is the Longaberger Company which started in 1973 . Longaberger makes lovely hand woven baskets . They have branched out to other home items , but the baskets are the most well known items . They are beautifully crafted right here in the buckeye state . Although you can help an Home Consultant make a few dollars by making your purchases from them , you can buy directly from the website if you like . Do you want to put a bit more of yourself in your gift ? You can travel to the Longaberger Homestead and make your own basket until December 7 . You do have to make reservations . As the holidays grow near and you are thinking of folks on your list that you might purchase a gift for , let me lend a bit of assistance . There are many great items made right here in OH - IO ! Over the next couple of weeks , I will plan to highlight just a few . Everyone likes cheese , well most everyone . There are several great cheese options in Ohio . One of my favorites is Pearl Valley Cheese in Coshocton County . The Swiss cheese is just brilliant ! You can place your order online , but if you are up for a drive , you can visit the retail store Monday though Saturday 8am - 5pm . You can even watch the cheese being made , if you arrive before noon . Cheese can stand alone , but of course wine goes very well with cheese . Again , there are many winery options . As part of your road trip , you should continue on to Dover , Ohio to the Broad Run Cheesehouse . You can check out more cheese options and some lovely wine options . Learn more . . . Broad Run Cheesehouse So today lunch was ( all that and ) a bag of chips and cinnamon gummy bears . What , you ask cinnamon gummy bears , I 've never heard of such a thing . Me either , I had to grab a quick lunch at the campus bookstore because I had about 15 minutes between meetings . This was not my original plan , but how it worked out . I went to pull out my phone to take a picture of the bears , because they look much more like bears then the orange ones to post on the blog , and guess what . No phone . Opps . It 's on the kitchen table , at least I hope that is where I left it and I didn 't drop it somewhere . I 've saved a bear for you , no worries . I 'll take it home and maybe later today , I 'll post it . Let me tell you , if you like cinnamon and gummy bears , you would like these . I have a bit of a bear issue this week , I know , I working through it . If I could afford therapy I would discuss it with the therapist , but all I 've got is this little blog , so post my issues here . It is Friday , right ! Goodness , I hope so . Oh yes , it is , dinner with the marrieds tonight . I made a pie last night . Ok , now let me tell you about last night . So , I live alone . . . all future stalkers , I took self defense and I will go for your eyes first if you dare try anything . Off topic , back on . . . I 'm mixing my pie , doing a bit of laundry , trying to get all this done , so I can relax in front of the tele to watch Bones . Well pie is going well , called for a lot of butter , I thought and still believe but whatever , what is life without a little butter . I took my work clothes off to wash and was running around in a t - shirt . Now , I told you I live alone , so this is NOT a big deal . Well , it 's not , until you hear a " knock , knock , knock " at the door . Crap , I put down mixer , remember I have no pants on and grab the blanket off the sofa to wrap around me , so I can answer the door . I open the door a crack , thinking it was a friend that said they might stop by . No , wrong Keebler ! It was three men , three , who wanted just a moment of my time to pass on the word of God . Ok , well , I understand you have a commitment to your God , church , fellowship , whatever , but I 'm not going to invite three men I do not know into my house , alone . Also , it 's cold outside and I 'm not going to stand on the front stoop chatting about their idea of God . So , I kindly said , no thanks . With as much kindness as I could muster considering I was standing at the door with only a blanket around me . Then , they ask , well , are you just not interested or is this a bad time , can we come back . Well sir , it 's after 8pm , I 'm missing Bones , my pie is not in the oven yet , and I DON ' T KNOW YOU ! Well , that 's what I wanted to say , but instead , I simply said , I 'm not interested . Then , I think just to annoy me a bit more , they ask if I know any of my neighbors that would benefit from " the word of God " . At this point , I wanted to just drop my blanket and tell them I was God and I was very unhappy with them , because I had sent a very clear list of names they should be contactLet the crazy flow . Anyway . . . here are a few random tidbits that may help you with your next crossword puzzle or rousing trivia game with friends , or not . Did you know . . . Sylvester Stallone wrote the script for Rocky and sold it for a very low price , on the condition that he star in the movie and receive a share of the profits . Rocky went on to win three Oscars in 1977 : best director , best film editing , and best picture . It was also nominated in 7 other categories , including best writing for screenplay . Can you guess who said this ? . . . " Most people think life sucks , and then you die . Not me . I beg to differ . I think life sucks , then you get cancer , then your dog dies , your wife leaves you , the cancer goes into remission , you get a new dog , you get remarried , you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty - five years and you pay it back and then - - one day - - you have a massive stroke , your whole right side is paralyzed , you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then - - one day - - you step off a curb at Sixty - seventh Street , and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die . Maybe . " . . . . guesses ? I 'll give you a hint . . . he has the same birthday as me . Forget when that is ? Ok , good grief , it 's August 18 . Oh , ok I 'll just tell you . It was Irishman Denis Leary . I can really call him an Irishmen , because since both his parents are from County Kerry ( the best county , by the way - because I lived there for a summer - I 'll show you photos one day ) , he has dual citizenship . Today is not talk like a pirate day , but I 'm having a moment . The orange bears need to take the big plunge . Ick orange ! I think I 'll change my dating strategy , and start looking for a man who likes the orange , so plank walking is not required . Happy Wednesday ! Published with Blogger - droid v1 . 6 . 5 There is a certain team to the North of Columbus , Ohio that has won two games in a row . This is history making really . They may have found a quarterback that works well and they may have found a coach willing to take a few risks . I tell you in the last two games , I saw some interesting plays that the old team would never have considered . I 'm afraid to name them , afraid to disturb the goodness going on . I say keep it up and I 'll keep watching , because _____ Rocks at least right now ! I entered a photo contest that the winner will be announced tonight . I don 't expect to win , but am curious to see the winners photo . I 'll try to keep you posted . This Tuesday is a bit interesting . I 'm actually see students doing real work . Geppetto , I 'm a real Advisor . The students have tons of questions and for the most part I can answer them , yeah ! I have to attend several sessions on the new college this seriously could take a full year to get them in . Today I have to attend Employee Safety Training . I got an email yesterday it would start at 8 , most of us ate here and waiting , yet they just said oh well start at 830 . I really don 't care , pay me to sit here , but there is a staff meeting I should be at . Karma is still pissed off at me , this morning I caught my toe on the corner of the bed , when I put my sock on it was a bit purple , and I can feel it throbbing now . Argh , if someone can tell me what I did I would appreciate it . Enjoy your Friday and weekend , I 'm going to see if I can meet up with karma and make amends . Published with Blogger - droid v1 . 6 . 3 I understand the past couple of days you have been unhappy with me : crazy prices on my allergy meds , disrupting my sleep , giving me splitting headaches , breaking bowls , etc . I get it , I 'm not sure what I did , but I 'll do better . This magnet in the office I 'm in today makes your point clear . Oh how I hate those monkeys . Published with Blogger - droid v1 . 6 . 3 Take a moment of your time today and click on this link to help give free mammograms , it only takes a moment to make a difference . Save Boobs ! If you are motivated , you can click on the link once a day . My sweet tooth is in overdrive this week . Why else would I make bread and pumpkin blondies in the same week and a double batch of the pumpkin at that . Thank goodness dinner tonite with the marrieds , I can take most of the pumpkin there . Have a grand weekend ! According to Real Fact # 826 . . . in the average lifetime , a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator . Hmmmmm . . . . . is this 10 , 000 steps a day or more and what is average . Snapple does not clarify . Oh well , back to enjoying my new favorite treat . Published with Blogger - droid v1 . 6 . 3 I 'm in computer training all day today . I think my head may explode . My allergies are killing me . My phone is Crap . Is it Monday ? Published with Blogger - droid v1 . 6 . 0 Thank you for bringing autumn back . I was in fear that there would be no autumn and we would simply go from summer to winter . Autumn is my favorite time of year , so I greatly appreciate your assistance today . I caught a bit of a cold over the weekend and I 'm not quite in a groove yet with my new job and getting ready for art shows and such . I 'm a slacker and as has happened in the past , the blogging is the one to suffer . If you are still checking to see if new posts are here , you really are the best ! Have a grand day ! In an orientation today for work , yes this is my second one , I guess they really want me to be oriented . It 's helpful information , except the guy sitting next to me keeps talking to himself and as the day progresses is starting to smell . Ick . At least he works in another department , even campus . In more fun news I went to my first Blue Jackets game this week . I didn 't understand all the rules , but it was fun , esp since they won in an overtime shoot out . It 's Friday ! Do a dance and enjoy your weekend ! Published with Blogger - droid v1 . 6 . 0 Going through photos this evening I found many forgotten photos . So , sad , they must be shared . In August , I visited the Iowa State Fair . Why you ask , well , good question , I have no good answer . I mean yes , there are tons of fairs here in Ohio . Good thing about the Iowa State Fair , one can have a pint of beer with their chips . Notice scary blue finger nail polish . It just added to the fun fair experience . When beer does not cool one off a nice popsicle is highly recommended . And that kids is a short trip to the fair . It 's Tuesday , I think . . . still over loaded with new information . The mill has a couple of new residents . After a morning of nothing but non - stop bagging of corn for deer hunters , I took a moment to snap a photo of the two new residents at the mill . Throughout the years different cats have lived at the mill . Maggie was actually a kitten from Molly the original mill cat . These two showed up a few weeks ago . They are just getting to the point where you can pet them , only if you have treats for them though . They will have to catch mice to earn their keep . They are just kittens right now , but soon , they will have to start meeting their quota weekly . That or learn to bag corn , good grief those Jersey boys buy a ton of corn , well really almost two ton of corn every weekend . Started new job today . Had a hot cuppa tea with Ms . H on the patio at the coffee shop in the almost autumn crisp evening air . Ah , this is going to be a grand autumn ! Published with Blogger - droid v1 . 5 . 9 Quick trip to Calabash , N . C . today crossed over from S . C . , really far trip , all of 10 minutes . Took a boat ride out into the ocean . Saw a few dolpin , watched a shrimp boat pull in their bounty , and saw a couple of sting ray up close . Who knew a two hour tour could zap all of your energy . Published with Blogger - droid v1 . 5 . 8 My week has been filled with surf , sand , pools , a lovely lazy river , margaritas , sangria , tilapia , red snapper , sea scallops , crab , shrimp , sunscreen , many towels , wine , and shopping . Ok , little shopping , but today was a shopping day . I did buy this great t - shirt . Gotta love it . The SC Gamecocks . I know it 's a bit childish , a bit " Wayne 's World - ish " , but the Gamecocks are just fun to say . Early alarm to see sunrise . Brilliant veiw from the balcony . Walk in the surf . Coffee at the bar watching the surf . Fresh krispy kreme for breakfast . Now sitting on the beach , soon to be in the water . This afternoon , more of the same . Ah , vacation ! Published with Blogger - droid v1 . 5 . 8 Sitting at the laundry mat . Why you ask , well my cat had to take a car ride this morning and she decided my Mom 's lap was a good location to pee . So , I 'm here trying to correct Maggie 's wrong . Too bad my parents store doesn 't have a washing machine ! I hope your Friday starts and ends a bit better than mine . Who is super excited that today is her last day at the university because that means she is leaving to take another job ? ME ! ! ! ! ! I haven 't said much on here because I wanted to make sure all the paperwork went through . I completed all the paperwork yesterday and I 'll be headed to another college soon . I have found I like making lists . To Do lists are great , I love being able to check items off as they are accomplished . It makes me feel a small sense of moving forward . Often lists can be helpful . Pro / Con lists can help when making a difficult decision . I don 't always stick to my lists , but that 's ok too . 1 . Got a pedicure . I know can you believe it , 35 and never had a pedicure , but it 's true . I got one over the weekend . It was great . I was a bit nervous , ok a lot nervous because I have very sensitive feet to the point of pain sometimes , but it went well and my toes are so darn cute . I went with a bright pink , I figure in a couple of weeks , if it lasts that long , I will not loose my toes in the sand . 2 . Got a full body massage . Dear goodness it was awesome ! Charles Penzone Salon , you lived up to your reputation and I thank you kindly for it . I will try to work more massages into my budget , so worth it . List : Oil change - waiting on it now ; Walmart run - done , thankgoodness , hate doing it but needed every now and then ; Party supply store - done , Woot , that place is a trip , a good one ; Kroger - next ; laundry - some done a mound still to go ; cleaning - hmmm soon , Ick ; dinner at Brio - only if I get all others done soon . Hmmm . . . is this how I envisioned my day off ? Well no , but need , and hey I 'm not at work . Enjoy your weekend kids ! Published with Blogger - droid v1 . 5 . 3 . 1 This person was a stubborn or determined child who liked challenges , depending on your view . Yes , those are mini jackasses . Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get a jackass to go somewhere it doesn 't want to , a real challenge . Friday 13th , but so far I 've been swimming , eat a nice breakfast , and well I guess that 's enough for a vacation day ! Enjoy your weekend kids ! Published with Blogger - droid v1 . 5 . 1 This past weekend was the Dublin Irish Festival . . . excellent craic . Lots of dancing , Irish music , kilts , laughs , music , fish and chips , kilts , bagpipes , kilts , lemon shake ups , kilts , Irish music , kilts . . . did I mention there were kilts . * grin * And I found the design for my next tattoo . One small problem . . . loads of detail . . but this was carved into a big hunk of stone . . . can you imagine . It was awesome , but had a really awesome price too , darn it . In other random news . . . look Ma , I 've got nails . Two weeks of not working at my parents store and my nails actually will grow . Forgive the crappy paint job and wrinkly almost 35 year old hands . . . and just look at those nails . Ah , yeah ! I kinda feel like Maggie here . This is the " I know , right . " face . I was in hurry up , now wait mode . I wish I had more info to share . I know , right ! Published with Blogger - droid v1 . 4 . 9
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Today was a warm , muggy , rainy and boring day . And I couldn 't even take a nap because the house next door was having some exterior work done by the council ( hence the photo . . . . . which was snuck while they were having their lunch break ) . So I went into Romsey to do a little girly shopping . My hair DESPERATELY needs to be dyed , so I went to SuperDrug to get some dye , along with more bobby pins ( since my hair is finally long enough to put up ) , and just cruise around the charity shops in the rain . Also had to mail off a job application for an interview that I have next week . Which , Ian had a job out in the area that I 'm going for my interview on Tuesday , so I went with him so we could find the nursing home . It 's a rather large home from what it looks like outside . Buuutt . . . . . . Ian and I got into a bit of a tiff and barely spoke the rest of the evening . Oh well . . . . . tomorrow should HOPEFULLY be better . If not , then I 'm going to have a serious talk with him . I think he just got frustrated with me for something stupid , which happens . Happy 3 month wedding anniversary to us then , eh ? Had to venture down to Romsey today to renew the car tax . It 's up tomorrow , so being the lovely wife that I am , I went and got it done since , well , Ian is actually starting to say that the car is mine , not his . Probably because he doubts its abilities . . . lol . We opted for the 6 month option ( even though it 's more expensive ) because if I can get a job soon , when December rolls around we may just trade the car in to get something more reliable . Buuuttt . . . . Emmy ( which I named the car ) may just prove us wrong . Then I met Kathryn and a friend of hers for a quick drink ( water for me , please ! ) . It was REALLY warm today in Romsey . Like , Ohio warm . . . but thank goodness it 's less humid here than in the States . Ian also got me an early birthday present today . He came home with a TomTom , so now I can drive where I please . Obviously I 'm not going to hop on the motorway right away , but when I do want to go outside of Romsey , I will be more confident because now I know how to get there . . . lol . Plus , Ian sees it as a way to get out of the weekly grocery shopping at ASDA because he put the addresses to the two that we go to in the TomTom . Oh how I LOVE my husband . : ) Also , a preview of what is to come this weekend arrived in the post today : I can 't flippin ' WAIT for the weekend ! ! Can 't tell what 's in the bag ? They 're new " unmentionables " ( my Mom used to call them that when I was growing up ) . : ) I went to the large shopping mall / high street , West Quay , today with my sister - in - law Kathryn . She needed to get out and have a good laugh , and I needed girl time like you wouldn 't believe . She and my brother - in - law , Yog , picked me up on time , and we headed off on the hot , humid day . The mall wasn 't HEAVING , which is good . K and I had bra fittings done , because I had been told that my size could possibly be different here , and since I didn 't have that much time to pack before moving to England , and needing to save money , my underwear collection was dying , and dying fast . So , since I had been good on funds and still feverishly looking for a job , I was given an allowance and was told to treat myself by my darling husband . : ) For the first time in my life I now own not one , but TWO matching bra / panties sets . WOOT ! I also bought a cotton , khaki ( or kharki as they call it here ) dress from H & M . And it has pockets , which is a MAJOR bonus . : DThen at the quiz this evening , our team came in 3rd of 11 teams , which is REALLY good for us . The pub was packed , we could barely hear , and everyone was in good spirits . Great day all in all . : ) It 's the weekend ! Which means , I get to spend more time with the hubby . But alas . . . . a simple trip to ASDA was interrupted by Ian being on call for work . Where Ian works , engineers are on call during the weekend once ever 9 weeks . Not bad , considering they get more weekends free AND they don 't have to go out and actually DO repairs , they just phone in to a contractor company . But the answers phone has to be checked once every hour . And , when Ian is on call he 's on call for the ENTIRE area ( basically the London area , the surrounding area , and all of southern England ) . Ian had about 20 calls today , spent on average about 7 minutes on hold with the contract company , and after he dealt with the calls , he had to check the phones again . Oh well . . . atleast after this it 's another 9 weeks before he 's on weekend call again . Ian and I woke up this morning and did the typical routine of him getting ready for work , me lazing about , and then sending him off at the door . Although , I did go out in the rain to get my brolly out of his van . About two minutes after Ian pulled away , he phoned my mobile , telling me that Michael Jackson is dead . I said " It 's gotta be a joke ! " Ian said " It 's not a joke if they 're talking about it on the BBC . . . " So he told me to switch on the news . And now I can 't stop watching . I 'm in utter shock . I really enjoyed MJ 's music and will continue to . Yes , there were moments where I thought ' This guy is crazy ' in my life , but you can 't deny that his music is amazing . Even the Jackson 5 stuff was awesome . Also , Farah Fawcett lost her battle with cancer yesterday . So sad . Rest in peace MJ and Farah . Sorry it 's blurry ! But this is a map from our house to Josy 's place . : ) Ian and I were invited to fellow UKYer and friend of ours , Josy 's , 4th of July party next weekend . I 'm REALLY looking forward to it ! Our other friend and fellow UKYer , Jamie and her husband Alan are coming down as well . . . so it 'll be three Yanks with a bunch of Brits . I . Can 't . WAIT ! : ) Now . . . . . to organize something with Beth . . . lol . : p So I thought that this would be the most exciting photo of the day today . . . . . . . . I looked down at one point and realised that INDEED I have a tan , and it 's only a few weeks into the summer . ( And sorry about not having my toes done . . . . . I know it 's shameful . . . lol ) But tonight when Ian was fixing up our desert , I heard this motor noise outside . As I looked out the window I saw this flying through the air : Just one of those motorized parachutes . I had never seen one so close before . And I bet it was a beautiful journey since the day was gorgeous today . Just hopefully he didn 't land in the large woods behind the close . Eeps ! Well , today ended quite nicely . Woke up , and had the urge to trim the bushes in the front garden . Basically , it 's been neglected for years ( according to my MIL ) , so I decided that I need to whip it into shape . I spent 3 hours trimming 4 bushes . Got some sun , and my arms and back are sore from using them so much and holding basically a tree trimmer above my head for hours on end . But , it 's nice to look out and see what I 've accomplished . After taking a shower , Ian surprised me by coming home in between jobs . He was going out to Hamble , which is on the River Hamble , down by Southampton . There is Victoria Park and Netley Abbey , which Ian has told me about but we 've never actually gone and seen . This is the Garrison Church , which stands on the site where Netley Hospital was during the Crimean War . I had seen it before while coming back from the Isle of Wight on the ferry , but it was kinda awesome seeing it up close and personal . Unfortunately , they 're doing renovations on it , so you can 't go inside at the moment . The church and hospital were originally planned by Florence Nightingale , Queen Victoria , and PM Lord Palmerston ( his statue is in the middle of Romsey and can be seen in my Day 90 post ) . This is what it used to look like when the hospital still stood : The hospital part was torn down in the 60s , but during WWII , it was used by the Americans . Ian and I surveyed the way the grass was , and you can actually see where walls may have been before just by the different colors of the grass . After the hospital , we went to Netley Abbey . It was absolutely BEAUTIFUL ( well , what remains , anyway ) . It was originally founded in 1239 and used as a house for monks . They even had a plaque where it said " these arches are where wash basins were where the monks used to wash their faces , heads , and hands at daily . " It remained the monks ' house until 1536 when Henry VIII had it closed down and gave the house to William Paulet . He then turned it into a Tudor home . Apparently the vegetation over grew after the Tudor home was closed , and it becPosted by Went up to southern London tonight for a birthday party . Ian 's co - worker , Grant , turns 40 this coming Monday so his wife threw him a surprise birthday party . The cake is what Grant looks like . No joke . Except Grant doesn 't have " Birthday Boy " candles sticking out of his face . Took this photo on the bus today . The socks with sandals look is just WRONG . This woman wasn 't elderly , but she sure does have a strange fashion sense . Went into Shirley with my MIL to look for an outfit for a party Ian and I are going to tomorrow night . I found a dress , which I loved , but would probably never wear it again AND it was more than we can afford right now . So . . . I came home empty handed . But to drown my sorrows , I ate some bread pudding . It 's amazing stuff . Went to the Isle of Wight with Ian again today because he was working over there today . Thankfully the weather was GORGEOUS this time . AND we got to ride the Ikea ferry over in the morning . Sweet . I enjoy going to work with Ian because it gets me out of the house , I get to see what he does , AND I get to flirt with him whenever he walks by if I 'm sitting in the pub . Today I tried to do one of those role playing conversations . " Come here often ? " You know , that jazz . I don 't think Ian picked up on it though . . . lol . Oh well . And the landlord there asked if I was on holiday , even though Ian TOLD her I 'm his wife . I wonder if the " When are you going back to the US ? " or " How long are you here on holiday ? " questions will end ? Fudge and I in the house . Yes , the photo was sort of forced . . . lol . She came in through the window again today ( I taught her that last week . . . tee hee ) , and hung out for about a half hour while I was chopping up salad stuff for tea tonight . I also drove to and from town today , which I was SO happy when I got to the roundabouts no one was coming from the right . . . lol . So I could just go . After doing all the chopping , for some odd reason I was tired , so I took a two hour nap . I seriously think something may be wrong with me . I 've been really tired again lately , and , unfortunately , been crying at the drop of a dime ( or 10p if you want to get technical ) . Worked out in the garage with Ian for a bit . It was so hot and dusty in there that my asthma kicked off in about 10 minutes , so I had to stop . Will see how we fair tomorrow . I think the plan is to go for a walk first THEN go on the machines . Today was a day spent cleaning . I had made a list of things that my MIL and I were to do today . And while she was in town doing her errands , I cleaned the kitchen . So afterward I relaxed a bit , had some lunch , watched Scrubs ( of course ) and then about a half hour after my MIL got in , we tackled the closet underneath the stairs . It was a JOB because it 's just stuff from YEARS ago . My MIL has early stage Alzheimer 's so her shopping habits are TERRIBLE thanks to her poor memory . Anywho , here 's proof of the job : BeforeAfterThere 's a floor ! Ian was very pleased . . . lol . Those orange bins were full of junk , and now we don 't have enough stuff to put in them yet , but keeping them so we can have some extra storage space . Nowwww . . . going to relax while Ian makes tea ( pizza tonight . . . woot ! ) , then we 're going to watch a film and if it ends in time , watch a little Big Brother . How could you NOT love this photo ? This was taken while riding in Ian 's van out by Salisbury . I was invited to go to work with him so it would give me something to do . We went to different areas that I hadn 't been to before , plus I think Salisbury is GORGEOUS . The area is known for their military training , and we got to see lots of helicopters flying around . We even got to see an Apache helicopter , which was actually mentioned on the BBC tonight . It was nice though seeing what Ian does . And , at his first job the landlord let me come in and hang out , so I had tea AND alcohol before 11 : 30am . I was a little drunk . . . . lol . Also went and visited our friend Jen . Had lovely long conversations with her , Ian , and Jen 's three daughters . Now , it 's time for sleep ! We FINALLY got our car back from the shop / dealership today . About a month and a half ago we traded in the BMW for the Clio above . It was difficult to get insured on the BMW since I 'm American , so we got something smaller , more practical . Well , needless to say , we were sold a lemon . When we test drove it , we smelled an awful burning smell . The dealer said they 'd have that taken care of , it was some oil switch , and that was that . Well , after about two weeks of driving the car ( which we only drove it a handful of times ) , the burning smell was still hanging around , and it was barely changing gear . We took it to our friend Jon 's place because he works for the AA and is a mechanic . He said we were low on transmission fluid . Jon filled it up , Ian took it out for a spin , and came back with the car smoking up a storm . We had a leak . Soooo . . . . we took it back to the dealership , and after about a week found out that a band in the gear box had broken which was causing our leak . Since it was a warranty job , it took longer since the warranty company had to go to the garage and approve EVERYTHING that happened to the car . So yeah . . . drove it back tonight and seemed all right . Ian said we 'll probably have the burning smell for a bit since there was TONS of fluid all over the place , but at least now I 'll get driving in again . Ian reckons after I go out a few times with him in the car , he 'll be satisfied that I can drive on my own , but for now I 'm only allowed to drive by myself locally , which I don 't mind . Buuuutttt . . . . while we were there , look at what we found ! It 's Simon 's car ( from The Inbetweeners ) ! I didn 't think these things ACTUALLY existed , but apparently they do ! lolOh , and heard from the nursing home today . The email said " No word yet but don 't despair " so that must be a good thing . . . . . The typical evening view after tea : Ian and I in bed , on our laptops , waiting for what we 're going to be watching for the evening to come on . It may seem boring to others , and sometimes I 'd prefer to snuggle instead of surf , but I wouldn 't change this for the world . Today was another lazy day . Woke up with Ian again , watched Big Brother from the night before , then helped Mum clean the house a bit . I did the windows upstairs and couldn 't BELIEVE how dirty they were . Also had a surprise call from Jamie in the afternoon . Thank God I have her here ! Made jacket potatoes with a tuna melt filling for tea , along with cauliflower cheese , some corn , and rice . We were stuffed , and the potatoes came out lovely . Went and posted my CV to 11 different nursing homes in the area . Ian and I figure , even if they 're not hiring , they 'll at least have it on file JUST incase something comes up . Sort of got word from the nursing home I 've been waiting to hear from . My CRB check came up clean ( which I knew it would ) so the owner said we can move things forward early this week . So I may JUST have a job with them , but I 'm not holding my breath . Just gotta wait and see . The weather today is gloomy . I spent the morning watching Big Brother from last night , getting my CV and cover letters together , etc . Now I 'm just waiting for Ian to come home and MAYBE , if we 're lucky , we 'll get to go and pick up the car . . . . which means I 'll get to drive ! And now back to watching TV and being bored yet again . Bah . The Abbey Hotel , where Ian and I go to the pub quiz every week . Not a wonderful photo though because I took it on my phone , after we left around 10 : 30pm . We came in 7th out of 10 this week . Oh well . Ian and I had a lazy day today . Watched a documentary on Auschwitz ( I learned WAY more than I knew before ) , Ian cooked breakfast AND tea , and we took naps . I love lazy weekends with my husband . Today was the 65th anniversary of D - Day . Lots of programs and movies were being shown in commemoration of the day , and there was even a celebration in Portsmouth that Ian and I went to . There wasn 't a whole lot there . Just a band playing swing music with dancers dressed up in military garb from the era . Also there were military jeeps and tents set up in part of a field . The British Legion was there , selling some things to raise money for their organization ( Ian bought us wristbands ) . After leaving the tents and the noise , Ian and I sat by the water watching the waves crash and people watched . Then later in the evening we went to our friends Jon and Amanda 's place because Amanda wanted me to see their new kittens . With the kitten , JDIan and I absolutely fell in love . . . . and now we 're seriously considering getting a cat ( it 's also therapeutic for seniors . . . especially those with Alzheimer 's and dementia ) . So keep an eye on this space to see if we get one ! It wouldn 't be able to replace Ashes ( whom I miss like CRAZY ) , but it 'll just add to our little family . My nephew , James , had a school assembly dedicated to D - Day this morning . Ventured to see it with my MIL . Ian dropped us off by a shortcut , but the gate was closed . Oh well , nothing like a bit of a walk at 8am to get the blood moving . Iiiittt ' ssss Hump Day ! I don 't care if you work or don 't work , Hump Day is always a good day , because the weekend isn 't far away . Today was a bit of a crap day , actually . Tried to get ahold of the nursing home again and the guy I need to talk to was out AGAIN . Left my mobile number and asked if he could phone me back , but nothing . Bah . Had a nice conversation with Jamie . Had a much needed cry / talk with Ian when he got in from work . Then Ian and I went out with his sister , K , and her husband Yog for his birthday . Was a nice evening out . Went to a pub called The Mayfly which is right on the Test River . Beautiful area . And would be absolutely GORGEOUS on a summer 's day . Unfortunately , before we went out the temperature started to drop . The Test RiverL to R : Ian , K , and YogWill have to go back there one day . Now , plans for tomorrow ? Spending the day with my other sister - in - law , Cheryl . She MAY be bringing my nephew with her , but we shall see . . . . . Have you seen this turtle ? Saw this while walking to and from Romsey today . I had seen the signs before , but today I actually remembered to take a photo of one of them . Ian and I are convinced it 's just in the back garden at their house or something . Oooorr . . . . . when it IS found it 's going to be pretty pissed off because it probably took it weeks to get at least 10 feet away from its home . Poor guy . Was a hot one today ( for English standards , anyway ) . . . but thankfully a beautiful breeze was blowing through the windows so I vegged out on the bed watching films . Supposed to be warm again tomorrow as well . Did a little weeding in the garden until the little , annoying , red ants started bothering me . STILL no word about the nursing home job yet either . I 'm starting to feel like a failure . * sighs *
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The Battle of Barbourville September 19 1861 . This was located in Knox County , Kentucky . This was the first battle of the War in Kentucky : Kentucky Union sympathizers had trained recruits at Camp Andrew Johnson , in Barbourville , throughout the summer of 1861 . Confederate Brig . Gen . Felix Zollicoffer entered Kentucky in mid - September intending to relieve pressure on Gen . Albert Sidney Johnston and his troops by conducting raids and generally constituting a threat to Union forces and sympathizers in the area . On September 18 , 1861 , he dispatched a force of about 800 men under command of Col . Joel A . Battle to disrupt the training activities at Camp Andrew Johnson . At daylight on the 19th , the force entered Barbourville and found the recruits gone ; they had been sent to Camp Dick Robinson . A small home guard force commanded by Capt . Isaac J . Black met the Rebels , and a sharp skirmish ensued . After dispersing the home guard , the Confederates destroyed the training camp and seized arms found there . This was , for all practical purposes , the first encounter of the war in Kentucky . The Confederates were making their might known in the state , countering the early Union presence . Here 's a video report about the reenactment of the battle : Battle of Cheat Mountain took place September 12 - 15 1861 . The location Pocahontas County , West Virginia . This battle took place east of where Carnifex Ferry . It also saw the first action of Robert E . Lee in the Civil War . A little about the battle : Gen . Robert E . Lee directed his first offensive of the war against Brig . Gen . Joseph Reynolds 's entrenchments on the summit of Cheat Mountain and in the Tygart Valley . After their victory at First Manassas the Confederates could spare troops for the secondary theater , although they were ill - equipped and poorly disciplined . Lee 's objective was to regain control of as much of the state as possible , not only to claim it for the Confederacy but to disrupt the impending referendum on statehood . It would be a black eye for the Lincoln Administration if they had to cancel the vote , scheduled for late October . Here 's a little about the reenactments that took place for the battle : This year marks the 150th anniversary of the Civil War , and re - enactors from across the region will descend upon Chase Farm Park on Great Road this weekend , Sept . 16 - 18 , to re - create the Battle of Cheat Mountain in " A Call to Arms . " The park will come to life with hundreds of re - enactors as they set up camp for the weekend , and thousands of spectators are expected to come experience the power of living history . The re - enactors , or living historians , will invite visitors to step back in time to September 1861 , shortly after the start of what would be four long years of the bloodiest conflict in our nation 's history . Their goal is to portray as accurately as possible what it was like at that time . As one of the first events to officially be endorsed by the Rhode Island Civil War Sesquicentennial Commemoration Commission , " A Call to Arms " is considered to be one of the most elaborate re - enactments being undertaken in this area in 2011 . Battle of Carnifex Ferry September 10 , 1861 in West VirginiaAnother battle in West Virginia which wound continue to see conflict for most of the rest of the war . It was important to control this area because of the railroads and the arsenal that was at Harper 's Ferry . Carnifex Ferry is about an hour an half drive away from Charleston , West Virginia . This turned out to be a Union victory : Learning of Col . Erastus Tyler 's rout at Kessler 's Cross Lanes , Brig . Gen . William S . Rosecrans moved three brigades south from Clarksburg to support him . On the afternoon of September 10 , he advanced against Brig . Gen . John Floyd 's camps at Carnifex Ferry . Darkness brought and end to the fighting after several hours . The strength of the Union artillery convinced Floyd to retreat during the night . The state park that is located at the site has turned out a series of articles on the battle . They are in PDF format and can be found by clicking here . Oh no snow ! ! ! ! ! It started in the afternoon . I 'd gone out to the post office and to go to CVS . It was maybe a little after 1pm . It was just starting . It was hardly coming down but had started to collect on the windshield . Then it hit ! I was desperate to make it to the store . I needed milk . I needed eggs . I needed bread . I needed toilet paper . What would happen to me as the inches upon inches began to pile up . Would I be able to drive to the grocer store ? If I couldn 't drive would I be able to walk to the grocery or would the drifts be too high ? Well actually the snow came down for an hour or two . It barely covered the grass let alone the side walk or the street . But if it had I would have been already to be in high Washington DC panic mode when it came to snow . Here are a couple of pictures of DC 's first " snow " of the season . The internet can give access to so many important things . The ad for the Tug Toner is one such thing . Watch and learn but most of all enjoy ! It 's a rather rainy , cold sloppy Saturday . A good day to stay in and read or book or play a game on the computer or catch up on cleaning ( well maybe not the last one ) . Also a great day to see more of Linus and the Great Pumpkin . Click on the image for a large view . Well things are going fairly well . Not much pain at all . Some discomfort . The main thing is figuring out how to chew my food . But there is a very funny story to tell . Wednesday night I 'm just about to go upstairs when I realize I haven 't taken my pain medication . I 'm not in much pain but the best thing to do is to take it just in case the pain decides to flair up . I 've turned off all the lights on the first floor . The upstairs hall light is on . I go back into the kitchen to take my Ibuprofen . Now here 's a little back ground . The bottle of Ibuprofen that I have in the kitchen I bought at Giant foods . It is from a company called CareOne . It just so happens that I also bought a bottle of stool softener . It 's from the same company . The bottles are of similar size . The colors used on the labels are sort of the same too . I walk into the kitchen reach into the cabinet take down a bottle . I take the cap off and get out four pills . I 'm supposed to take four of the regular strength Ibuprofen . I have the pills in my hand and think these feel like gel caps . The Ibuprofen is a tiny little pill . I turn on the kitchen light and see that in my hand are four pills but they 're the stool softeners . Needless to say I put them back and got out the Ibuprofen . Definitely dodged a bullet actually in this case a pill . I can only imagine what my night would have been like if I 'd taken the stool softener . Here 's a picture of the two bottles . So far so good after my Frenectomy . I don 't have very much pain . There is a little discomfort . Hopefully this is sign that everything will be fine . TO celebrate here 's another funny strip about Linus and the Great Pumpkin . That 's not something you get to say every day . It is part of the fun process of shoring up my receding gums . Part of a fun multi year process of moving gum material from other parts of my mouth to my gums that are receding . This first part was to cut the frenum in my lower set of teeth . This will help in the big gum graft that will go there later . That probably won 't happen until next year . So here 's a little back ground : There are many frenae in the mouth , such as the strand along the middle base of your tongue , or on the middle inside of your upper or lower lip . An overly short frenum below the tongue restricts tongue movement and affects speech . Shortened frenae on the inside of the lips pull on the gum tissue . This can cause the gum to recede away from the teeth or gaps between the teeth to develop . My periodontist said I didn 't have a really bad problem , but I would need this done as the first step in the whole gum graft process . All I can say is what fun ! But actually it wasn 't very bad . Well I should say it hasn 't been very bad so far . I had an appointment at 10 : 30 today . It took less than 30 minutes from start to finish . He numbed the area where he was going to make the incision . I could barely feel the Novocaine when he gave it to me . Then it was pretty quick . I was able to see the thread he was using for the stitches . He then put some material as he said sort of like Silly Putty around the stitches . This is essentially a dressing that hardens . The idea is to keep it on until the next appointment which is next week . I was told to go home and take it easy . Put some ice on it . Eat soft food for the first day . After that I can eat just about anything except particulate foods ( seeds , nuts , popcorn , etc . ) . I was told to make sure I took pain medication even if I didn 't have any real pain . He said I needed between 600 - 800 mg of a pain reliever . He said he would write me a prescription or I could just take 4 of the extra strength dose of whatever pain reliever I liked . Anything that is except aspirin because aspirin Posted by It was a spectacular sunny Sunday . My friend Stu and I met up at the Newseum . Here are a couple of pictures taken from the terrace . As you can see , there weren 't many people out that early on a Sunday . We got there when it opened at 9 am . This is such an amazing place to visit . We stayed for almost three hours . In no way did we see everything but we got wonderful sampling of some of the great exhibits that are there . Here 's just a little of what we saw . This is so very cool . A host of front pages over time of major events along with other exhibit materials . The front pages are divided into years going back to the 1500s . There not so much front pages then . There are three trays that pull out with a front page in each . You could spend hours in this exhibit alone . Some very interesting stuff . Taking pictures of framed pictures doesn 't really work out all that well . But I hope this gives you an idea of some of the pictures from exhibit : The President 's Photographer . There is a great film about this exhibit ; the screen is probably a good 40 to 50 feet wide . Some really great shots . Here are a few . Posted by This was a very interesting exhibit . The second picture is the death mask of John Dillinger . A little more about the exhibit : The FBI 's efforts to fight crime and its starring role in popular culture are examined in an exhibit now at the Newseum . With 200 artifacts - including the Unabomber 's cabin , Patty Hearst 's coat and gun and the electric chair that killed the Lindbergh baby kidnapper - nearly 300 photographs , dozens of historic newspapers and interactive displays , the exhibit reflects the sometimes cooperative , sometimes combative relationship between the FBI and the news media . I had problems with my digital camera . You can go here to read all about it . Essentially the lens cover would not open and close all the way . I could get the camera to work by using my finger to open the cover . That 's what I did when I went to New York . The Monday that I got back from my trip I took the camera to Best Buy . I 'd bought it there and had gotten an extended warranty . I 'd been told when I 'd brought it in early that it would take 3 - 5 days to get it back . That didn 't turn out to be the case . Because the camera I had wasn 't rapid return ( at least I think that 's what they called it ) , it was going to be sent out to get fixed . It would take 2 - 3 weeks for it to be repaired . I wasn 't too happy about that . First off because when I 'd bought the extended warranty they didn 't mention that if the camera had a problem it would be fixed . They gave the very strong impression that if anything went wrong the camera would be replaced . The other thing was of course 2 - 3 weeks to fix the thing that 's nuts . Off the camera went . A few days after it was sent off I got an e - mail from the Geek Squad saying they 'd received the camera and were working on repairing it . Then about a week later or so another e - mail saying still working on it and giving me a tracking number so I could follow the repair process . Then along comes another e - mail from Geek Squad . It said : Hello Jason , Thank you for choosing Geek Squad ! In an effort to ensure your service was completed to your expectations we would like to give you an opportunity to provide feedback on your overall experience with Geek Squad . Below is the first question of a brief survey that should not take more than a few minutes to complete . In addition to providing us with feedback , you will have the opportunity to request a follow up contact by a member of Geek Squad if you have any questions or concerns stemming from your service . Please rate your recent service experience with Geek SquadOne small little problem I didn 't have the camera . I 'd never been told it was fixed or to pick it up atPosted by This weekend Metro did major track work on the Red Line : On the Red Line , buses will replace trains between Fort Totten and New York Avenue as Metro installs new track , ties , insulators and provides a work zone for District of Columbia Department of Transportation bridge work near New York Avenue station . Two stations - - Rhode Island Avenue and Brookland - - will be closed as a result . I was doing things both days that would require me to use the Metro . I thought this would be a big huge pain in the ass . It turned out not to be the case at all . There were a couple of glitches . On Saturday it was a little confusing exactly where to catch the shuttle but to New York Avenue at the Rhode Island station . Also the route to the New York Avenue station seemed a bit convoluted . Lots and lots of turns . Also the driver of the bus on Saturday had printed instructions on the route to New York Avenue . He had a little trouble but then again there were as I said lots and lots of turns . Sunday things worked great . I was meeting up with my friend Stu at the Newseum ( more on that later ) around 9 am . I had to head out early . I gave myself about an hour to get there . I got to the Rhode Island station just as one of the shuttle buses pulled in . There were Metro employees at the bus stop . One asked where I was going and I said New York Avenue . She told me get on the bus that had just pulled in . I got on and a few moments later the bus left . I was the only one on the bus . Now they very easily could have waited until more people got on but they didn 't . I thought that was great . Ended up I had no problems meeting Stu by 9 at the museum . The trip back to Rhode Island went just as smoothly . Nice to know that Metro can get things right . A long time ago at the start of each year I would listen to the collection of music I had by artists . I would start at A and then go to the end . Now this is in the time when I had albums . You remember those from a long time ago in a galaxy far far away . That 's how music used to come . You 'd play them on a turn table and that would be hooked up to a receiver which would have speakers hooked up to it . I know it all sounds so very quaint but that 's how you used to listen to music . Well I decided the other day to do that again . This time , of course , I 'm listening to all my music on my iPod . I 'm not planning on listening to all 10 , 654 songs that I have . I 'm going to listen around a half hour for each artist . I 'm not sure how long this will take . I only have until the day after Thanksgiving when another one of my traditions start and that 's only Christmas music until the start of the new year . I 'm on B right now so I have a ways to go . I saw this on a site . It is a dog playing a piano while howling . Yes , it is silly but it also very funny . Happy Saturday ! 2PP064 - 20 October 20112Political Podcast Episode 64 - is now available . You can listen to it or download it from the podcast site , 2political . com . You can leave comments there as well as download or listen to any episode ( you can access the five most recent episodes from the list on the right side of my blog ) . After special days , we talk about the " Occupy " protest movement , which has come to Auckland , too . Then we talk about Cain 's moronic plan to dramatically increase taxes for the poor and working people so the ultra rich can have tax cuts . Arthur says he can 't tell if Cain is stupid , wilful , a liar , etc . What 's up with him ? Next , look at the poor quality of Republican presidential candidates , and what a big problem Romney still has actually winning the nomination . We can 't remember a presidential campaign ever being this unfocused at this point in an election season . Arthur makes an impassioned argument that if people are unhappy with their party , they have a personal responsibility to change things . The photo accompanying today 's shownotes is of the Devilsfood Cheescake Jason mentioned , and is from one of his blog posts about his recent trip to New York City . Please leave a comment ( anyone 's welcome - agree or disagree ! ) , or you can ring the 2Political Comment line on 206 - 350 - 3982 . Links for this episode : Persons Day - CanadaAnd more about Persons DayHogeye Festival - Elgin , TexasDissolution of the 49th Parliament - the NZ event Arthur mentionedTent and sympathy - Arthur 's blog post on the " Occupy " protest in AucklandProtesters in McPherson Square - Jason 's blog post on DC protestorsThoughts on the Republican Race - Jason 's blog post that Arthur mentionedArthur 's blog , podcasts and videos can be accessed here . Get 2Poltical Podcast for free on iTunes I fell behind with a couple of features with the blog because of my aching head in September . One of them was following the Civil War 150 battles . So in the next couple of days I 'm going to try and bring that up to date . For a very long time , I wasn 't all that interested in American history . I thought it was pretty dull . I read many books on European history . I just found it so much more interesting . Then I got a two volume history on the American Revolution called a New Age Now Begins by Page Smith . I was spell bound by the book . It was so well written and had the perspective of not only the important people of the day but from the average person as well . Many letters and diary entries from the famous and not so famous made the revolution come alive . Smith wrote a whole series of books about America history . One of them was on the Civil War and is one of the best that I 've read on the war . So here 's playing catch up on Civil War 150 . Dry Wood Creek September 2 , 1861 in Vernon County , Missouri . The battle for Missouri continues : Col . J . H . Lane 's cavalry , about a regiment strong , set out from Fort Scott to learn the whereabouts of a rumored Confederate force . They encountered a vastly larger Confederate force near Big Dry Wood Creek . The Union cavalry surprised the Confederates , but numbers soon made the difference . The Confederates forced the Union cavalry to retire and captured their mules , and the Confederates continued their march towards Lexington . This is in fact part of a series of skirmished / battles that took place for control of Missouri . They included Battle of the Hemp Bales or the Battle of Lexington which occured September 13 - 20 , 1861 : Following the victory at Wilson 's Creek , the Confederate Missouri State Guard consolidated in the northern and central part of the state . The next move was ( under the command of Maj . Gen . Sterling Price ) on Lexington . Col . James A . Mulligan commanded the entrenched Union garrison of about 3 , 500 men . At the same time the Battle of Liberty was taking place . This tookPosted by Here are a few pictures of the Occupy DC people . This is right near my office at McPherson Square . Here 's a little more about them . One of the members of the action committee said : " Before , we were going out daily , but we were still in the infancy stage . Now we don 't want to burn people out , " said Lehner , 23 , who is from Tampa but now lives in the park . " We are trying to get a bit more organized … We are still going to be marching in the streets , just not everyday , but trying to organize it so it 's more planned out . " They say there are going to try and stay through winter . Well it 's the end of the world again . Yes , it is that time of the year again . The leaves begin to change color , the fall TV season starts , football is in full swing and the rapture is right around the corner . Resident doomsday nut Harold Camping says : " A lot of things we didn 't have quite right will probably be finished out on Oct . 21 , " the 90 - year - old Camping says in a message on his Family Radio Network website . " That looks like it will be at this point , looks like it will be the final end of everything . " Seems old Harold had a stroke early this year but his mind is still sharp as a tack . He still knows that the end is coming . He rants on further by saying : The tone of his message is more mild than his previous declaration . Shying away from talk of wrath and judgment , he says " the end is going to come very , very quietly probably within the next month . . . by October 21 . Probably there will be no pain suffered by anyone because of their rebellion against God . . . " he said . " We can become more and more sure that they 'll quietly die and that will be the end of their story . " As I always say it 's good to have a hobby . Harold 's seems to be being a first case nut job . Still I was looking forward going to the Newseum on Sunday with a friend . Oh well . At least it won 't hurt this time around First a little fun at the expense of the Republican field . I only saw the video for this on Monday not the actual sketch from Saturday Night Live but it was very funny . Here 's what " Herman Cain " had to say in the debate : " I never thought that anyone would look at it . . . The original goal of the 9 - 9 - 9 plan was to get me a show on Fox News . . . . If America is looking for catchy , unworkable solutions to complicated problems , Herman Cain has the answer . How we fight terrorism my 5 - 5 - 5 plan . For every terrorist , America will send five planes , five soldiers , and five of those dogs that caught Osama bin Laden . How do we fix healthcare my 3 - 3 - 3 plan . Every time you get sick you get three pills , three days off , and three chicken - noodle soups . " The rest of the sketch was equally funny with Newt Gingrich and Michele Bachmann being in a janitor 's closet . The person who emerged from it would be invited to the next debate . And the debate was sponsored by Marriott on the Marriott channel . Very funny stuff . And it really points out what a terrible group of candidate the Republicans have . The newest darling is Herman Cain how long he stays as the " front runner " and a threat to Mitt Romney remains to be seen . Cain could be the new flavor of the month . The conventional wisdom is that Romney is the most likely nominee . He is first or second in polls . In a couple of polls recently he came in second with Cain being in front . Sort of like a few weeks ago when Perry was in first . Romney 's number seems to hover rather consistently in the 20s . Follow this link to realclearpolitics and it shows Romney 's range . The low is in the Gallup poll at 20 % . The high is the Rasmussen Reports poll at 29 % . And here I believe is a problem for Romney . He never gets above 30 % . And the flavor of the month comes along and ties him or ends up ahead of him in polls . Romney hasn 't closed the deal with Republicans most notably the Tea Party . They think he 's too " liberal " on some issues and changed his positions on some too . I also think the Posted by This is a very very funny series from Peanuts . Lucy gets it into her head that she will stamp out people 's cold germs . Here are six panels from a very funny series . Happy Tuesday Treat . Just some random thoughts and events that I 've noticed in the last few weeks while I 've people watched in and around DC . Late for the busThis happened last week while I was waiting for my bus to go to New York . I had a 9am bus . I was in line around 8 : 20 . It just so happened that I didn 't have to wait long for the Metro at Rhode Island Avenue . It 's also only one stop and then a short walk to where Megabus is at North Capital and K Streets NE . Also I like to get there early just in case . It just so happens that there is an 8 : 30 bus . I decided not to take that one because it stops near Baltimore . The 9am bus is non - stop . It arrives about 15 minutes after the one that leaves at 8 : 30 . So that 's the set up for these two events . A woman comes running into the holding area few minutes before 8 : 30 . She just makes it on to the bus in time . At 8 : 35 another woman comes along . She too is running . She too is trying to catch the 8 : 30 bus . She was rather surprised that the bus had already left . She was put into the standby line for the 9am bus . I 'm not sure if she got on the bus or not . I 'm always amazed that people are late . Yes things can happen but it seems to me you make sure they don 't happen on the day you are going some place . What you do is make sure you get there early that 's something I always try to even if I end up waiting 40 minutes . I 'd rather do that than miss the bus . Texting and WalkingI have to say I find it annoying when I 'm walking down the street and I have to move out of the way when someone is texting . The person texting should at least be aware of where they are . I can 't tell you the number of times when I haven 't move out of the way the looks I get from the person who 's texting . A few weeks ago there was a woman walking down the street texting . She was not watching where she was going . She ended up walking into a sign . And I 'm not talking about brushing up against that sign . I 'm talking she ran smack into the sign face first . It took a great deal of self control not to burst out lauPosted by The new darling of the Republicans for the next couple of weeks is Herman Cain . Cain replaces the last best great hope of the Republicans Rick Perry who replaced Donald Trump . Seems Republicans are having a problem figuring out who would be the best candidate to replace Obama . Romney continues to hold around 25 percent . He doesn 't seem to get much above that which doesn 't bode well for him . Cain shot into the lead after Perry self destructed during the debates . It seems Mr . Perry can 't debate at all . I guess in the last one he essentially disappeared into the wood work . Cain 's big point is the 9 - 9 - 9 plan which he says is simple and straight forward . It would be fair to everyone or so he says . The reality of the plan is something completely different . This would be a huge burden on the least well off who spend a larger percentage of their income they anyone else . I think the editorial in the Post today sums up the problem : Even if it generated adequate revenue , Mr . Cain 's plan would do it on the backs of the least well - off - and to the benefit of the wealthiest taxpayers . The 47 percent of households that do not pay federal income tax because their earnings are too low would be subject to a new 9 percent tax on their income - plus the impact of the 9 percent sales tax , with no exceptions for spending on basic needs such as food , clothing and shelter . f course the 9 % sales tax would be above and beyond any state or local sales tax there is . For instance if I went and bought a pair of jeans in DC I 'd be paying 9 % national sales tax along with the 6 % DC sales tax . An increase in the cost of the jeans of 15 % . Now let 's start thinking about how much this would cost on larger items . Let 's say a washing machine or couch or a car or a house . Yes as far as I can tell since you are buying the house there would be a 9 % sales tax on that as well . I 'm sure that would be a big boost to the housing market . I went up to see How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying . I liked the show . Daniel Radcliffe was really great . I was very impressed by him . He made the show really fun . I got a couple of pictures of John Larroquette . I also got a picture of Radcliffe too . Well I should say I got a picture of the back of his head . If you look at the last picture , there 's a tall guy in a white shirt . Next to the tall guy is a guy wearing a baseball cap that 's Daniel Radcliffe .
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Here we are making cookies to leave out for Santa . I realize now that my mom made Christmas cookies look easy ! I took several shortcuts ( part of the problem ? ) - - dough in the tube and a tub of frosting rather than homemade and ended up with Christmas blobs rather than distinguishable shapes . The upside is that they tasted good despite their unrecognizable shapes ! In the start of a new tradition ( ECDC inspired ) , we put out our reindeer food right before bed last on Christmas eve . We went out in the front yard and threw out our " reindeer food " -- ( oatmeal ) - - and made a wish ! I guess it is one more fun thing to add to the hype of Christmas eve . On Monday we travelled on up to Columbia to attend the children 's Christmas party at the Palmetto club . Obviously , the highlight of this is getting to sit on Santa 's lap . It was with trepidation that I brought Katharine , as last year we lasted all of 4 minutes before she set eyes on one of the other bizarro characters they seem to think kids will like , totally freaked , and ended up spending the party playing in Poppa 's office . But , this year we had success and a positive interaction with Santa . Matthew looks a little more unsure but he didn 't cry one bit so I 'm going to take that as a success too ! Katharine and Santa had a nice chat in which he requested 3 cookies to be left out for him and Katharine was somewhat vague on exactly what she wanted so he promised to bring some nice surprises ( I think this is what happens when you have a late November birthday and have just received a lot of toys ! ) . Matthew is now 10 months old and growing up like a champ . He has another tooth coming in on the top - so that will make 4 on the top and 2 on the bottom ! He is starting to lose interest in his bottles but his interest in solid foods is beginning to increase some . He still absolutely loves carbs - cheerios , cereal puffs , bread - all good . He is not too crazy about fruits and vegetables which I think has more to do with the texture and feel than the taste . He has also enjoyed rice , mashed potatoes , and mashed sweet potatoes . We have battled two more colds ( complete with breathing treatments ) since I last posted . Poor little fella has basically had one cold after another since mid - September . He now seems to be getting over the last of his latest cold so we have our fingers crossed that he will be a healthy boy for Christmas ! Matthew is really starting to crawl ! For about the last two weeks he has really started working on it and now he definitely seems to have a forward motion crawl . He can go about three feet . He can also get from sitting to laying and laying to sitting all by himself . And he is starting to try to pull up and get himself standing . We are also starting to see some gender distinctions between Matthew 's behavior and how Katharine was as a baby . Matthew loves tearing things apart , holding toys over his head , and banging things on the ground . Much more physical play than we remember from Katharine . Matthew is officially transitioning out of the infant room ! He will be in the crawlers room within the next wee where he has already been spending a good bit of time and seems to enjoy it . The main teacher is a woman who we use for babysitting regularly so Matthew just loves her and we know she keeps an extra close eye on him ! Finally , our boy is musical ! He just loves music and starts swaying back and forth as soon as you start some music . We have received two of the those new musical cards in the last month and Matthew thinks those are about the best toys ever ! As soon as the card opens he starts swaying and if yPosted by OK , so I am pretty far behind on blogging . I am going to attempt to do some catch up over the next few days and I will start here with a Katharine update . Since I last blogged Katharine has had both her 3 year old check up with the pediatrician and we have had our first parent - teacher conference at her school ( still affectionately called " goosh " by Katharine ) . Her check - up went great with Katharine weighing in at 30 pounds and 37 inches tall . The pediatrician was very impressed with her developmental abilities . She was able to recognize which line was bigger of two lines the doctor drew , she replicated a circle after the doctor drew one , and she recognized both her name and the first letter of her name . She said our next step is to encourage her to start writing her name by making dotted lines of the letter K and working up from there . We also talked about potty training . The pediatrician seems to think that the thing that might really get Katharine on board with the potty is when some of her friends start going too . But , we are going to use the Christmas break to really work on it and see if we can send her back to school a potty - trained gal . The doctor said she should be physically able to hold it now , she probably does know when she needs to go , and basically it is just up to her now . So , we wait and we hope she decides she would like to do this sometime soon . Katharine didn 't have to get any shots but she did have to get a finger prick to check her iron levels . The nurse described the device that was going to prick her finger as " Mr . Thirsty " and that " Mr . Thirsty was going to tickle her finger or something to that effect . " That seemed to work like a charm for Katharine and she didn 't shed one tear over it ( and loved the bandaids she got afterwards ) . Other than that , the doctor gave her a clean bill of health . Our parent - teacher conference was also a success , with Katharine getting mostly rave reviews from her teacher . She said that Katharine is one of the most popular children in the room and that lots of the oPosted by So , I am trying something new tonight . Tonight is Paul 's night to teach and he gets home pretty late so he doesn 't even know about it yet . Katharine decided tonight that she wanted to stay in Matthew 's room to " protect " him . I thought it was cute and she has been going through this whole thing of being scared and not liking the dark so I figured what the heck . So , I told her that once Matthew was asleep she could tiptoe in his room and get in the extra bed very quietly . I told her that she could not make any noise all night long and she said she was o . k . with that . So , after Matthew fell asleep , we tiptoed in and she crawled into bed , I tucked her in and snuck back out again . She was quiet as a mouse and seemed to go right to sleep ( something we don 't always see around here lately ) . So , I am hoping that tonight will be a peaceful night ! This afternoon was Matthew 's nine month check up . He weighed in at 20 lbs . , 12 ounces ( 50th percentile ) and 27 inches long ( 75th percentile ) . They checked the progress of all of his illnesses and it seems we are on the road to recovery : no signs of the ear infection anymore and no signs of wheezing . So , we will wrap the end of all our current medications for him and hope for the best ! The pediatrician just seems to love Matthew , she gets so tickled by how good he is and the cute faces he makes at her ( always smiling and taking everything in ) . She said the given where he is at with crawling now ( the sort of odd backwards kind - not purposeful forward motion ) , that he probably will not by walking by his first birthday . This is not odd , only half of all kids tend to make this mile - marker and Katharine was a late walker so that just seems to be the way I make ' em ! We are to continue the soft solids and try to get him to enjoy more than just cereal puffs . We worked on some peaches tonight and he wouldn 't put them in his mouth of his own accord but he did eat them when I put them in there ( after a small grimace ) . The other big thing for this phase of development is language - so we are to tell him the names of everything he sees and really read to him a lot right now . No immunizations this time but poor Matthew had to get the follow up to his first flu shot so he didn 't get off scott - free today . Of course he didn 't like the shot but he did pretty well all things considered . Katharine went with us and seemed a bit enamored with both the doctor and the nurse . She hugged them both ( actually those cute leg hugs that little ones give unsuspectingly ) and seemed very interested in engaging with both of them . The doc checked on her wheezing too and it seems the breathing treatments must have helped her too because there was no sign of wheezing in her either . Featured here is a moment that was too cute not to run and get the camera ! I was giving Matthew a bath and while I was doing that Katharine was happily playing in his room ( I didn 't question as all was peaceful ) . So , I bring Matthew in from his bath and there is Katharine with one her favorite stuffed toys ( Biscuit the dog ) strapped up to the breathing machine . She looked at me and said , " Biscuit is sick . He is wheezing and coughing . He needs a breathing treatment . " So we were back to the doctor again ! Thank goodness we love our pediatrician and her nurse ! This time it was for Katharine as she had started wheezing and coughing yesterday . It ends up she has bronchiolitis too and probably caught it from Matthew . Now we are strapping her up to the breathing machine too . She was a little hesitant at first but is doing pretty well with it now . Matthew , Katharine , and I enjoyed a nice day at home today nursing our colds ! This past Wednesday marked Matthew 's 9 month old birthday ! It really does seem like time is flying by and Paul and I often marvel at how fast life seems to whiz by right now . On the other hand , it seems like Matthew has always been with us and it is hard to believe sometimes that I was pregnant last Christmas - - that already seems like such a long time ago ! Matthew is doing great ( minus the battles with colds - see previous entries ) . He is starting to work on crawling and can scoot around 360 degree while sitting , transition from sitting to belly , and push himself backwards across the floor on his belly . He also loves clapping his hands , " talking " , and laughing . He is ticklish and seems to love being tickled ! We started the process of introducing soft solids with mixed success . He seems to be most interested in this cereal puffs that are made especially for babies and much less interested in the fruits and vegetables . I don 't think it is a taste preference as the fruits and vegetables don 't even make it into his mouth , just get squished in his hands and dropped ( which is odd because pretty much everything goes into this mouth these days ) . Matthew also still seems to adore his big sister and she him . She is so sweet to him , trying to make him laugh ( often with great success ) , help tend to his needs , and give him lots of love . The only thing she does that upsets him is to take toys from him . Well , we seem to have an ongoing battle this cold and flu season . Matthew has been battling colds on and off since we first got the breathing machine in mid - September ( and actually before that with a case of the croup ! ) . Ugh ! Anyway , Matthew was back to the doctor again on Friday with a fever and more coughing and wheezing . He has an ear infection in his right ear and reactive airway disease ( the lung struggles that seem to come from the colds ) . Plus , he has three teeth coming in on the top ! So , we are on our third round of breathing treatments ( good thing we own the machine ) , we have now added in a daily dose of Singulair ( granules that we put in his food once a day ) , and an antibiotic for the ear infection . Plus , we are administering Tylenol as needed for fever ( which has pretty much passed now ) and a daily multivitamin . Whew , it is a lot to keep up with ! I think the antibiotic started working pretty much right away which is good and the breathing treatments seem to help some . The Singulair is apparently a long term investment and it is likely that Matthew will stay on this medication for the rest of the season ( with the hopes of it decreasing his tendency to go into bronchio - spasm every time he gets a cold ) . Matthew has his nine month old well visit this Wednesday so we will also be following on all these issues as well . And , now , poor Katharine seems to be coming down with something as well . She starting coughing this morning and seemed a little bit lower energy than normal . By the evening , she was starting to wheeze and seems to have a fever ( I stupidly took her temperature after her warm bath so not sure how much this impacted my measurement ! ) . So , I think we will be off to the doctor 's office again tomorrow ( I 'm starting to feel like I live there ! ) . By the way , this photo of Katharine was taken today during Matthew 's nine month old photo shoot ( just couldn 't put it off any longer ! ) . As you can see , she still looks pretty good despite her symptoms ! Friday morning marked Katharine 's first time participating in the ECDC Halloween parade ! It was controlled chaos and despite being a bit overwhelmed we all had a blast . Mommy and Daddy put work aside for the morning to make sure we were there to share in it ! The picture to the left here is the closest we got to a group picture for the 2 year old classroom . It was hysterical watching all the parents try to get their kids in place and then get out of the way . To the right is Katharine in her Tiger costume once again . I must say that we definitely got our money 's worth out of this costume . Besides being recycled from last year ( when I had to bribe her with candy to wear it ! ) , we got about four wearings out of it this year . And , to further illustrate my frugal - ness , I will probably still put little Matthew in it next year ! Well , yes , it is starting to seem like we managed to participate in every Halloween event going now that I come to summarize them in our Halloween wind up series ! But , it 's all just to fun to miss out ! On Tuesday night we went to a Halloween party being put on by one of the dorms on campus . As you can see we teamed up again with our new friend Leila and we just had a blast ! The dorm did such a great job of offering tons of fun stuff to do ! So , we ate hot dogs and made mud pies and trick or treated around the dorm rooms , and generally had fun ! Above , Leila and KK are featured doing some dorm to dorm trick or treating . I don 't know about Leila but it was KK 's first time actually doing that as we felt she was too young last year . She seemed to have a good time and liked having a bag full of candy . At left , the kiddos are featured having oodles of fun in an inflatable toy filled up with balls . You can see that suckers and lollipops are big this year as lollipop sticks are hanging out of one or the other 's mouth in most of the pictures . I just love this picture because I think to some extent it captures elements of young mom - isms ! Featured here is Leila 's mom Kate who is awesome and has been a great new friend ! But , I love the picture because she is carrying about 3 bags while keeping an eye on her own child and mine , all done with love as the threesome walks hand in hand ! It is a classic ! This past Saturday continued our Halloween festivities with a play date to the Children 's museum for their Halloween Festival with our new ECDC friend , Leila ! We had a blast and the girl 's probably enjoyed the museum and each other much more than the added Halloween activities . This museum is great fun for little ones with about 5 different themed rooms all intended to stimulate little minds ( children 's minds , that is ) . The girls made some arts and crafts first then went in to the " ball " room that seemed to be a mini - lesson in physics to me , from there to the water room ( which is great fun and comes equipped with smocks ) , which lead to mixed reviews of the life size fishing boat followed by rave reviews in the pretend grocery store ! We wrapped up our little outing with a snack and some bubble blowing outside the museum . On the way home Katharine said , " the lion is tired . " ( Yes , I know she is dressed as a tiger but she had it in her head she was going to be a lion so I don 't argue ! ) . We kicked off our Halloween festivities with our annual trip to the " Pumpkin church " to pick out some pumpkins ! We saw pumpkins of every size and had a fun time picking them out and filling up our wheelbarrow with pumpkins in various sizes to take home . This year marks our third year heading out to this nearby church for our pumpkin shopping - it is neat sight to see as their front yard becomes filled with pumpkins ! Katharine had a blast running around with daddy , comparing pumpkins , and helping to fill the wheelbarrow ! Matthew fell asleep on the car ride over and slept through the whole experience ! Oh the things the littlest ones don 't even know they slept through at that age ! Katharine was very happy with her selections and wished we could bring them all home I think ! Matthew continued to sleep and was totally unaware of the fun the rest of us were having ! ( Occasionally at his expense ! ) A good time was had by all ! Here are Paul and KK running in their first race together ! It was a 5K that included 3 laps around this beautiful park downtown . KK did pretty well but lost patience a bit around lap 3 . The Roofs have spent the month of October gearing up for Halloween and I will share all the fun activities in separate entries to follow this week . Katharine has been very excited about the upcoming holidays including Halloween , her 3rd birthday , and Christmas ! Lots for a little girl to be excited about . She regularly now holds up three fingers and talks about how she will be this old soon . We are also starting to see some progress in the potty department ! ! I won 't go into the gory details and the progress is still not consistent but at least she is expressing some interest in the potty again ! She also impresses me with the things she is absorbing . She now often reads the stories I read her at bedtime right back to me by going through the book and following along with the pictures . Today , one of her classmates had her last day at ECDC as she is moving back to Argentina . Tonight , Katharine was riding her toy pony and came over and said to me , " Mommy , ask me where I am going on my horsey . " So , I asked her and she replied , " to Argentina ! " I asked her if she was going to visit her friend Julia and she said yes . Too cute ! Matthew is sick again ! This poor boy , everytime he gets a cold he gets laid really low . So , Tuesday we were back to the doctor again for another round of coughing and wheezing ! Now we are the proud owners of very own breathing machine . We have finished our second round of breathing treatments ( a step down approach of 5 total days , starting with 3 treatments a day and then stepping down to 2 treatments a day ) but we are still waiting for the cold symptoms to move on . Apparently , some babies are just like this and have a bit of lung troubles when they get colds . It may be this whole season that we see this or maybe even two seasons . But , hopefully , he will just outgrow it . He is still working on his crawling and is now spePosted by Tonight was Matthew 's first official " big boy " bath ( no more infant tub ) . I decided it was time because he refused to lay back into the curved design of the infant tub anymore and was continually craning his body to get himself upright . So , tonight we gave it a try and Katharine was not going to miss out on one of Matthew 's firsts and hopped right in there with him ! They laughed and giggled and played and generally had a good time . Exciting news - Matthew seems to be starting to crawl ! This afternoon he spent some time on his tummy and he started using his arms to push himself backwards . So , it is only a start since it was more like a snake sliding backwards but the wheels are in motion ! I just bet it won 't be long until we are chasing this little fella all over the house ! Matthew turned 8 months old on Sunday and I just can 't believe it . In my head I will catch myself wanting to say he is 4 months old or 6 months old and I have to stop myself and say , no , he is 8 months old now . Time really does fly ! This photo was taken on an outing to a really cool park in Mt . Pleasant called Pitt Street Bridge . Matthew is doing great and is still a really sweet baby . He is sitting up like a champ now and really starting to push himself to reach for things around him . You can almost see him trying to problem solve and figure out how to get to something just out of his reach . I would say he will be crawling soon but you never know with my kids , they seem to like to take their time with these things . Today Matthew had his flu shot . He cried a little but got over it in an impressively short amount of time . ( Katharine also got her flu shot in the form of the nasal spray and she was such a good sport ! ) . We have started introducing Matthew to soft solids ( carrotts , peaches , and " yogurt melts " so far ) . He thinks that they are great fun to squish but shows little interest so far in putting it in his mouth . I worry a lot less about these things the second time around and I figure he will figure it out eventually . He is also clapping his hands a lot and " talking " a good bit . He makes a sound now that sounds like " mom - mom " and it is so tempting to count this as his first word ! But , it really isn 't consistent enough to be likely . But , maybe it is a sign that momma will be his first word ! ! I think I actually wouldn 't mind having a little momma 's boy around ! ! Today KK had her second visit to the dentist . Since the first visit had gone well , KK wasn 't scared at all but mommy was shaking in her boots . A black spot has been developing on one of her back molars despite mommy 's attempts to brush , brush , brush and I was worried that we were going to have a traumatic visit . But , while all is not perfect , all is ok for now . The dentist ( a pediatric dentist ) also does not want such young children to have traumatic dental visits so for now we are just monitoring the situation . It seems that the enamel on some of KK 's teeth is not fully formed ( or something like that ) . Apparently this is something that happens in utero and there is not much that can be done . So whether it is due to that or if it is staining from the multivitamins she is taking seems to be uncertain but there is definitely something bad developing back there . The dentist said it was not soft yet so she wasn 't too worried about it and we are to come back in three months for another look and another flouride treatment . All this in the hopes that KK will continue to gain maturity and coping skills to help her deal with what seems to be bound to come . At this age , if the dentist has to go in and fill it then KK will have to be sedated ( they don 't like to put kids fully out , just woozy enough so that they don 't remember how horrible it was ) . I took that translation to mean it would be a terrifying experience for mommy and KK but only mommy would be able to remember it ( maybe I could get a bit of that sedation too and Paul could just come pick us up later ! ! ) . But , we got through the visit with KK having little to no awareness of this trouble and being a pretty good sport about the cleaning and inspection . She actually giggled through much of the cleaning as the dental equipment seemed to tickle her . I was wishing I had taken a camera because they gave her these big sunglasses to wear so the examination light wouldn 't bother her and she looked really cute ! Because of the timing of the visit today , I decided that KK and I Posted by Well , I guess you could say that all is well in the Roof household and that it is business as usual . Just keeping up with the daily routine keeps both mommy and daddy hopping ! ( And plenty sleepy at night - it is lights out pretty early in our household ) . So , how is everyone doing ? Paul is doing well in his new teaching position . I am continuing to feel challenged by my new teaching commitments but have survived their first exam without everyone getting A 's ( or F 's ) so perhaps I am on the right track . But , more interestingly , how are our little ones ? Katharine is doing fabulously at her new preschool and we are so thankful that she got in ! She rides the bus downtown with me everyday and walks across campus like such a big girl to her school . Once we get into school , she runs right off to her classroom to play - - well - adjusted doesn 't begin to describe Katharine at her new school . She continues to amaze us with the things she is learning and digesting about her world ; her vocabulary continues to grow daily and her observations about the social world are always interesting . One cute thing she does right now is her own adaptation of excuse me . She has always been pretty good at saying excuse me for the appropriate things ( burping , coughing , farting ) but she has decided that she can take this social courtesy one step further . So , now , rather than excuse me , she will say , " burp me " or " fart me " as appropriate to the event that occurred . It is pretty funny and I think she nows it . As I have already opened the door to the topic of bodily functions ( this will really embarrass her someday , eh ? ) , I will briefly mention that we are at a some kind of roadblock with potty training and she seems to have lost all interest in this particular activity . Paul and I spend a lot of time wondering what the magic trick is going to be to make it happen ! Matthew is over his bronchiolitis and both children are in good health at the moment . Matthew is sitting up like a champ now and playing with toys and engaging with his sister . He seems to Posted by I am a full - time working mom with two adorable children , Katharine and Matthew , and one great husband , Paul . I started this blog to share news and fun photos with family and friends . Enjoy !
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One of my first reactions was to desperately seek someone in this dire situation . I went online , and found a french girl who had pancreatic cancer . She had not updated her blog for a couple of months , there was no clue in her writing what she was doing . I sent her an email , she never replied . I guess she gave me the insperation to write my own blog . I found it easer to write knowing it was a private blog , this gave me the freedom to write with honesty , and if i was going to be judged , it would not matter as whoever was reading it would not know me anyway . I am not good at spelling , but it was not about my spelling , it was simply about learning how to cope with the situation I was now in . Those early days were very dark , I didn 't sleep much and when I did I had to wake up to the cancer shock every day . I am not like that , its now not the first thought I have in a morning anymore . I never go back and read what I have written in the past . The past few years have been a challenge , we have seemed to have staggered through it , and each time I have tripped , we have done our best to brush ourselves down and just get on with it , and we have do our best to try and learn from each step , there is no reason to looking back , it is this point we are now focusing on . I have really enjoyed writing as it as helped me to get to this point . I decided to share the blog on Facebook , friends then shared it too , and it went into the search engines . I have met some really lovely people via the blog , from all over the world , and I just want to say , thank you for spending your time , and reading this , it means a lot , and thank you for all your lovely messages . I have really enjoyed it . Writing has made me think about reading , I don 't read much . Years ago I read this book , there was a part of this book that really stuck in my brain , so much , I can almost quote it , " if you feel you have learnt everything in life then ask yourself this , are you still alive ? if the answer is yes , then you haven 't learnt everything yet " . Due to the emotional connection I made with the book , I decided to buy it again and re - read it . When I got to the end of the last chapter , it mentioned nothing about learning , and even more stranger , it was a completely different story . I was not sure what shocked me most , the most important book I have ever read was not the book I thought it was , or the conclusion that must mean I have actually read two books in my life ! - if anyone knows which book this is from , please let me know . This may sound a bit strange , but there is something good about cancer . I know that some people will find that statement not just controversial , but really offensive . Even writing it feels highly disturbing for myself , but for me cancer has produced some good life lessons . Don 't get me wrong I wish this was one lesson I didn 't have to learn , but I think if you try and get something from any situation , good or bad , then it has less power . Of course I could go on about what cancer as taught me , but that 's not just a blog item , that 's a book . I have decided to end this blog as it has done what it was meant to do , to help me accept the situation I am in , and unlike the girl from France , I didn 't want it to just end , with a air of mystery . If you have found this blog and you have just found yourself in the same situation , when you look into this type of cancer , and you find out what pancreatic cancer means , remember that everyone is different , and when they tell you or you find out the percentage of survival , don 't accept it , challenge it , and do everything you can to do that , if you drive the doctors crazy by calling them to arrange appointments , do so . The charities are there for a reason , so use them , do research , keep an open mind , and really importantly while your doing all that , try your best to live your life too , and try and let it not just be all hospital appointments and worrying . I enjoy this kind of thing , and if it helps then its all good . The charity as contacted me saying that the PR company has asked if I can help them do some more , which I really enjoy so I will be . I will also will be doing more writing as i have also enjoyed writing this blog , I am not sure in what form . But the main thing is , I feel its time to leave this blog behind . Thank you for reading and coming on this journey with me , and for helping me learn to get to this stage . To go back to the mystery book , and to go back to what I have learnt on this journey , I would say whatever you are doing now , whatever age you are , and whereever you are in life , go and enjoy , it 's not about impressing the world , it 's about doing things that make you happy , you are still alive , so keep been inquisitive and keep learning and with that , grow . I am also alive , and I am so excited about my future , there is so much I need to do , and there 's so much I still need to learn , and that excites me . After weeks of writing and re - editing , I could not publish it as I was worried I might offend with the word f ! ! k ! - I could see the irony ! Maybe I do give a f ! ! k I will probably write more about this subject later . I celebrated the new year by adding two to the number of many nights I have spent in hospital . I got one hell of a bug . I had my own room due to been infectious , my eyes were at the back of my head , and I was aware about the stroke of midnight due to the fireworks going off , but was not sure what it represented . I 'm am back home now , and thank god , to a certain degree , so is my mind . My eyes are back in my sockets , and my brain , with slight damage is back in my head , its was only a 24 hour bug , but it was intense 24 hour bug . Its been an interesting time , I have done some filming with the BBC , and it is connected to this blog , it is going to be on later in January and part of it involves me asking questions to shoppers . I was so exited to do it that I didn 't sleep the night before , so when it came to the day , I was out of it , all I had to do , was go up to shoppers , ask them if I could ask them some questions and read the question off a iPad . Due to lack of sleep , I seemed to lose the ability to read ! It is going to be an interesting watch ! It will be shown in the next few weeks and I really loved the experience of it , and met the lovely Gloria Hunniford and Chris Bavin . We went to Ikea stupidly in sales time ! Just before the new year and just after Christmas . It was a strange experience , couples who had been together all Christmas , that had gone full circle from , " it will be good to have some time off together " to " . . . SO ! . . . When are you going back to work ? " Each couple secretly cheered that they had gone though Christmas without falling out and all was calm ! Until some bright spark decides that the best place to be in that moment in time , would be Ikea ! ! ! The most busisest place on the plannet . It was like a pressure cooker ! Couples were having full on rows ! People throwing soft furnishings at each other in Ikea fake rooms , I felt I was trespassing . Why come to Ikea in January ? We all squeezed through the front door of Ikea 's world of dreams ! all of us with a little hope of utopia within our hears . After , what felt like days of walking , we all made it to the half way mark of the restaurant ! That hope had shifted slightly to one that just hoped that one day , we will all see daylight . We went for food . I scanned the menu and it can be difficult to eat out now on my new diet . When we got to the serving hatch , I asked the lady if I could have peas instead of potato with my salmon ? The lady asked if I was celiac ? I said " no , its cancer ! " she looked concerned , and said , " There you go love " and she slipped a extra piece of salmon on my plate . We had lunch , and it was time to swing our blue Ikea bags behind our backs and go out into the wild again . Now , I know what I am about to say is bad , its one of the many ugly parts of cancer , but when you have to go to the toliet you have to go ! I know its not just me , because Macmillan 's now give out printed cards you can give to businesses saying - I have cancer , can I use your toilet . Its funny because if you do give someone one of them cards , they look at it for an age ! its a shame that macmilans don 't print on the other Side of the card , - forget it ! I have just shit myself ! Anyway , slightly gone off point , but when you need the loo , you need the loo ! I was half way between the exit and the restaurant , I knew the nearest toilet was back at the entrance - I darted , almost throwing people out of the way - but I made it . The relief of making the toilet , suddenly turned to despair as I realised that to get back to the items I needed I had to start at the beginning and re - enter the frontdoor of Ikea 's world of dreams ! - we gave up and came home , some dreams are not worth holding on to ! Just by chance , a friends Mum very kindly sent me a memory stick with the Ketogentic diet . If you have or have had cancer , you will know that all your family and friends will start to send you the latest miracle diet or cure , I have had everything now from - low carbs to no dairy diets , to bee stings cures . They all mean well , but sometimes you can feel bombarded by information . If you search on the internet for any cancer cure you find out that suddenly everything is a cure ! and sometimes ( for the right money ! ) you don 't need chemo , just a bottle of this ! I have started to look at the ketongentic diet and its seems very interesting . There are a lot of experts talking about this , and suddenly it doesn 't seem to be just the latest fad . I have now been on this diet for over a month now and I will tell you the results at the end of this article . It seems harder when you go out , they seems to be little choice . I have started to work on different menu items for my street food business , The Market Wraps Allotment - here is our no flour , low carbs , gluten free bread buns . I will be bringing this from our next booking , and the choice is now on our private bookings too . Working on a no carbs , gluten free bread bun ! Taste great ! Made from cream cheese and egg whites # nocarbs # keyto # glutenfree # gluten # bread I have now been on this diet for a month . My tumour blood count as gone from 6500 to 2300 - this is a 64 % drop , my oncologist used the work " miracle " . Do I think this is due to my diet ? Well I am also on chemo , but I am keeping an open mind , but I do think the diet has helped with the side effects from the chemo . I used to inject 20 units of insulin a day , I now inject 6 . My blood sugar count was between 12 and 30 ! between 5 and 7 is normal for someone with diabetes . Mine is now between 5 to 7 - an average drop of 70 % Speaking of dark moods ! I have been having quite a few headaches recently and I must admit , i have been worried about them . With this type of cancer there is a small chance that it can spread to the brain . My doctors had started to question this . I have been asked if I think my personally as changed recently , its hard to answer that , as I am not sure ! I have felt pain and stress and that it as made me moody , but was it that what was making me that way . Today they decided to give me a scan and I was fast - tracked in the queue . At this point i prepared that it had gone to the brain , i had convinced myself . Two hours of self torture later , I found out it hadn 't , to one degree there was a sigh of relief , the other , I now have to find a new excuse why I chase imaginary pigeons in the foyer . It as been a very stressful day . I cried , I always cry at results , it doesn 't matter how many times you go through this you never get used to results . But , a couple of days ago a new reading was done and though it is very high , it has now halved , my oncologist used the word " miracle " they think it was going up due to the ablation as after it is done the tumour count can go up . All of the nurses and doctors are so amazing ! I 'm very lucky , after so much time they are now not just nurses and doctors , but also my friends . " Life is difficult . This is a great truth , one of the greatest truths . It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth , we transcend it . Once we truly know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult . Because once it is accepted , the fact that life is difficult no longer matters . " The thing is Dr Peck , I do accept that , But still life seems to surprise me how hard it can be . That was two weeks ago and I am now back on chemo again and , if I am honest , I have found it difficult , but a week later , I am now able to stagger away from my sickbed and get up and face the world though a pail skin tone and slightly blood shocked eyes . I have not been able to respond at times to the messages I have received but want you all to know , that I am grateful for each one , even a like on facebook or a text asking how are you ? means a lot to people like me . If you know someone who is in a situation where they may need support and you are not sure what to say , the power of " hello " can mean the world . You may not get a response , but I promise , it will not be in vain . I told him about having cancer come back for the 5th , he was told just four weeks before he had cancer , he was in pain and was waiting results from a scan . The doctor then came and interrupted our conversation , he pulled the curtains around his bed and the doctor asked if he could sit down , as soon as that was said , I had a feeling it was not good news . I was not ear - wiging , I didn 't want to hear his business , so I walked away , but I heard enough to know that sadly it had gone to another area , and with that it was inoperable . When I came back , he was been put on another bed and wheeled off for radiotherapy to try and control the pain , he asked me to let his wife know that he had wrote a note for her . He said how beautiful she is , and told me to tell her to try and get some sleep , as she had been at home awake all night . I was also then taken away from the ward to be put on another one , I let one of the nurses know about the note . life can be so harsh , and in an environment like this , you can see how harsh it can be . But as dark or difficult life can be , it was the support from his parter that gave him light . I was once in B & Q and was looking at the packet of seeds . We haven 't got a garden but I was thinking about doing something with the space outside the house . I picked up my choice of seeds and was walking to the counter when it struck me that if it was down to probability , I would not be around to see the seeds grow and turn to flower . I turned around , put the container back and left the shop crying like a baby , this was the wrong attitude . I am having a scan a week on Friday , I get the results the following Thursday . My blood results show that the cancer as come back , but there are no tumours showing on the scan , yet . Whatever the scan results are I will be probably back on chemo soon , the doctors have said that it as come back looking at my bloods . In life , so far , the world as had a funny way of showing me the right and wrong direction in life , been in a situation I am not happy with or was not right for me , things have not gone in my way . I then have changed direction and things have magically turned and became positive , it may have taken time to get to that point , but it seems that it does . Almost like the world was working with me and not against . While I have been collecting my thoughts about knowing the cancer has come back , I have tried to carry on as usual . While shopping at my local catering shop , Nisbets I was given a receipt and was told that if i went online i would have a chance of winning a toaster . Trying to pull an expression like I was interested came natural , just like everyone else who had been served that morning , I knew as soon as I left the shop , the piece of paper wold be in the bin , but then I looked at the toaster ! now this was no ordinary toaster ! this was a see - through 150 quid magimix toaster . Lee , one of my friends , had told me about this toaster ! and we had one of many of our fascinating conversations , this one was on the subject of how it must be nice to have a see - through toaster because you could see if your toast was at perfect tone , but not to the point that it cost £ 150 quid ! Anyway ! I imagined winning the toaster . I was not picturing me with a fancy toaster , but just the satisfaction of going on Facebook , making my status " Feeling blessed " which really means " Feeling smug ! " and then tagging Lee . I ran home as fast a I could , I was half an hour late as I went in the car , and when I got home I went online and filled out the questionnaire . Two days later , i was called to be told I had won ! and what colour did i want the toaster to be ! I then remembered that Lee had left Facebook weeks ago ! the disappointment ! Was it really that easy ! I then heard a competition on Radio Aire , our local station , it was to win a 4 weeks advertisement package to advertise your business , which wold cost 1000s , eating my toast ! I clicked on the link . Feeling optimistic for competitions , but also aware I was turing into an amateur competition version of the very cleaver coupon kid , I decided to have another go and submit our catering trailer into the best looking trailer award in the yearly British street food award . After my last chemo I knew i had to jump out of my bed fighting to get better again quickly , so , if the cancer came back , I would be fit enough to deal with it . I needed to carry on life as much as I could , as much as was possible , wanted to try and go back to some kind of normality , the problem been that the catering equipment was getting heavy . We decided to get a trailer , and I have spent a lot of time on this , we had it converted and then in my spare time i have tried to do it up ! this as kept my mind active and in a better place , I have loved doing this . When i started to paint it black inside , i was worried that chemo brain had started to effect my judgement , but , standing back , it looks good . So it was nice to get a tweet to say we have been shortlisted by Richard Johnson from the British Street Food as the best 13 looking trailers . This is ongoing and is on a online voting system , - if you would like to vote click here - and click on Market Wraps and vote and its as simple as that - THANK YOU I haven 't done an update for ages ! I am sorry , it 's been quite hard this time around . I have recently found out I am diabetic , this . . . I am writing this from hospital , I had to cancel my chemotherapy due to this . I have been in St James now for four days now . I have n . . .
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One of my first reactions was to desperately seek someone in this dire situation . I went online , and found a french girl who had pancreatic cancer . She had not updated her blog for a couple of months , there was no clue in her writing what she was doing . I sent her an email , she never replied . I guess she gave me the insperation to write my own blog . I found it easer to write knowing it was a private blog , this gave me the freedom to write with honesty , and if i was going to be judged , it would not matter as whoever was reading it would not know me anyway . I am not good at spelling , but it was not about my spelling , it was simply about learning how to cope with the situation I was now in . Those early days were very dark , I didn 't sleep much and when I did I had to wake up to the cancer shock every day . I am not like that , its now not the first thought I have in a morning anymore . I never go back and read what I have written in the past . The past few years have been a challenge , we have seemed to have staggered through it , and each time I have tripped , we have done our best to brush ourselves down and just get on with it , and we have do our best to try and learn from each step , there is no reason to looking back , it is this point we are now focusing on . I have really enjoyed writing as it as helped me to get to this point . I decided to share the blog on Facebook , friends then shared it too , and it went into the search engines . I have met some really lovely people via the blog , from all over the world , and I just want to say , thank you for spending your time , and reading this , it means a lot , and thank you for all your lovely messages . I have really enjoyed it . Writing has made me think about reading , I don 't read much . Years ago I read this book , there was a part of this book that really stuck in my brain , so much , I can almost quote it , " if you feel you have learnt everything in life then ask yourself this , are you still alive ? if the answer is yes , then you haven 't learnt everything yet " . Due to the emotional connection I made with the book , I decided to buy it again and re - read it . When I got to the end of the last chapter , it mentioned nothing about learning , and even more stranger , it was a completely different story . I was not sure what shocked me most , the most important book I have ever read was not the book I thought it was , or the conclusion that must mean I have actually read two books in my life ! - if anyone knows which book this is from , please let me know . This may sound a bit strange , but there is something good about cancer . I know that some people will find that statement not just controversial , but really offensive . Even writing it feels highly disturbing for myself , but for me cancer has produced some good life lessons . Don 't get me wrong I wish this was one lesson I didn 't have to learn , but I think if you try and get something from any situation , good or bad , then it has less power . Of course I could go on about what cancer as taught me , but that 's not just a blog item , that 's a book . I have decided to end this blog as it has done what it was meant to do , to help me accept the situation I am in , and unlike the girl from France , I didn 't want it to just end , with a air of mystery . If you have found this blog and you have just found yourself in the same situation , when you look into this type of cancer , and you find out what pancreatic cancer means , remember that everyone is different , and when they tell you or you find out the percentage of survival , don 't accept it , challenge it , and do everything you can to do that , if you drive the doctors crazy by calling them to arrange appointments , do so . The charities are there for a reason , so use them , do research , keep an open mind , and really importantly while your doing all that , try your best to live your life too , and try and let it not just be all hospital appointments and worrying . I enjoy this kind of thing , and if it helps then its all good . The charity as contacted me saying that the PR company has asked if I can help them do some more , which I really enjoy so I will be . I will also will be doing more writing as i have also enjoyed writing this blog , I am not sure in what form . But the main thing is , I feel its time to leave this blog behind . Thank you for reading and coming on this journey with me , and for helping me learn to get to this stage . To go back to the mystery book , and to go back to what I have learnt on this journey , I would say whatever you are doing now , whatever age you are , and whereever you are in life , go and enjoy , it 's not about impressing the world , it 's about doing things that make you happy , you are still alive , so keep been inquisitive and keep learning and with that , grow . I am also alive , and I am so excited about my future , there is so much I need to do , and there 's so much I still need to learn , and that excites me . After weeks of writing and re - editing , I could not publish it as I was worried I might offend with the word f ! ! k ! - I could see the irony ! Maybe I do give a f ! ! k I will probably write more about this subject later . I celebrated the new year by adding two to the number of many nights I have spent in hospital . I got one hell of a bug . I had my own room due to been infectious , my eyes were at the back of my head , and I was aware about the stroke of midnight due to the fireworks going off , but was not sure what it represented . I 'm am back home now , and thank god , to a certain degree , so is my mind . My eyes are back in my sockets , and my brain , with slight damage is back in my head , its was only a 24 hour bug , but it was intense 24 hour bug . Its been an interesting time , I have done some filming with the BBC , and it is connected to this blog , it is going to be on later in January and part of it involves me asking questions to shoppers . I was so exited to do it that I didn 't sleep the night before , so when it came to the day , I was out of it , all I had to do , was go up to shoppers , ask them if I could ask them some questions and read the question off a iPad . Due to lack of sleep , I seemed to lose the ability to read ! It is going to be an interesting watch ! It will be shown in the next few weeks and I really loved the experience of it , and met the lovely Gloria Hunniford and Chris Bavin . We went to Ikea stupidly in sales time ! Just before the new year and just after Christmas . It was a strange experience , couples who had been together all Christmas , that had gone full circle from , " it will be good to have some time off together " to " . . . SO ! . . . When are you going back to work ? " Each couple secretly cheered that they had gone though Christmas without falling out and all was calm ! Until some bright spark decides that the best place to be in that moment in time , would be Ikea ! ! ! The most busisest place on the plannet . It was like a pressure cooker ! Couples were having full on rows ! People throwing soft furnishings at each other in Ikea fake rooms , I felt I was trespassing . Why come to Ikea in January ? We all squeezed through the front door of Ikea 's world of dreams ! all of us with a little hope of utopia within our hears . After , what felt like days of walking , we all made it to the half way mark of the restaurant ! That hope had shifted slightly to one that just hoped that one day , we will all see daylight . We went for food . I scanned the menu and it can be difficult to eat out now on my new diet . When we got to the serving hatch , I asked the lady if I could have peas instead of potato with my salmon ? The lady asked if I was celiac ? I said " no , its cancer ! " she looked concerned , and said , " There you go love " and she slipped a extra piece of salmon on my plate . We had lunch , and it was time to swing our blue Ikea bags behind our backs and go out into the wild again . Now , I know what I am about to say is bad , its one of the many ugly parts of cancer , but when you have to go to the toliet you have to go ! I know its not just me , because Macmillan 's now give out printed cards you can give to businesses saying - I have cancer , can I use your toilet . Its funny because if you do give someone one of them cards , they look at it for an age ! its a shame that macmilans don 't print on the other Side of the card , - forget it ! I have just shit myself ! Anyway , slightly gone off point , but when you need the loo , you need the loo ! I was half way between the exit and the restaurant , I knew the nearest toilet was back at the entrance - I darted , almost throwing people out of the way - but I made it . The relief of making the toilet , suddenly turned to despair as I realised that to get back to the items I needed I had to start at the beginning and re - enter the frontdoor of Ikea 's world of dreams ! - we gave up and came home , some dreams are not worth holding on to ! Just by chance , a friends Mum very kindly sent me a memory stick with the Ketogentic diet . If you have or have had cancer , you will know that all your family and friends will start to send you the latest miracle diet or cure , I have had everything now from - low carbs to no dairy diets , to bee stings cures . They all mean well , but sometimes you can feel bombarded by information . If you search on the internet for any cancer cure you find out that suddenly everything is a cure ! and sometimes ( for the right money ! ) you don 't need chemo , just a bottle of this ! I have started to look at the ketongentic diet and its seems very interesting . There are a lot of experts talking about this , and suddenly it doesn 't seem to be just the latest fad . I have now been on this diet for over a month now and I will tell you the results at the end of this article . It seems harder when you go out , they seems to be little choice . I have started to work on different menu items for my street food business , The Market Wraps Allotment - here is our no flour , low carbs , gluten free bread buns . I will be bringing this from our next booking , and the choice is now on our private bookings too . Working on a no carbs , gluten free bread bun ! Taste great ! Made from cream cheese and egg whites # nocarbs # keyto # glutenfree # gluten # bread I have now been on this diet for a month . My tumour blood count as gone from 6500 to 2300 - this is a 64 % drop , my oncologist used the work " miracle " . Do I think this is due to my diet ? Well I am also on chemo , but I am keeping an open mind , but I do think the diet has helped with the side effects from the chemo . I used to inject 20 units of insulin a day , I now inject 6 . My blood sugar count was between 12 and 30 ! between 5 and 7 is normal for someone with diabetes . Mine is now between 5 to 7 - an average drop of 70 % Speaking of dark moods ! I have been having quite a few headaches recently and I must admit , i have been worried about them . With this type of cancer there is a small chance that it can spread to the brain . My doctors had started to question this . I have been asked if I think my personally as changed recently , its hard to answer that , as I am not sure ! I have felt pain and stress and that it as made me moody , but was it that what was making me that way . Today they decided to give me a scan and I was fast - tracked in the queue . At this point i prepared that it had gone to the brain , i had convinced myself . Two hours of self torture later , I found out it hadn 't , to one degree there was a sigh of relief , the other , I now have to find a new excuse why I chase imaginary pigeons in the foyer . It as been a very stressful day . I cried , I always cry at results , it doesn 't matter how many times you go through this you never get used to results . But , a couple of days ago a new reading was done and though it is very high , it has now halved , my oncologist used the word " miracle " they think it was going up due to the ablation as after it is done the tumour count can go up . All of the nurses and doctors are so amazing ! I 'm very lucky , after so much time they are now not just nurses and doctors , but also my friends . " Life is difficult . This is a great truth , one of the greatest truths . It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth , we transcend it . Once we truly know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult . Because once it is accepted , the fact that life is difficult no longer matters . " The thing is Dr Peck , I do accept that , But still life seems to surprise me how hard it can be . That was two weeks ago and I am now back on chemo again and , if I am honest , I have found it difficult , but a week later , I am now able to stagger away from my sickbed and get up and face the world though a pail skin tone and slightly blood shocked eyes . I have not been able to respond at times to the messages I have received but want you all to know , that I am grateful for each one , even a like on facebook or a text asking how are you ? means a lot to people like me . If you know someone who is in a situation where they may need support and you are not sure what to say , the power of " hello " can mean the world . You may not get a response , but I promise , it will not be in vain . I told him about having cancer come back for the 5th , he was told just four weeks before he had cancer , he was in pain and was waiting results from a scan . The doctor then came and interrupted our conversation , he pulled the curtains around his bed and the doctor asked if he could sit down , as soon as that was said , I had a feeling it was not good news . I was not ear - wiging , I didn 't want to hear his business , so I walked away , but I heard enough to know that sadly it had gone to another area , and with that it was inoperable . When I came back , he was been put on another bed and wheeled off for radiotherapy to try and control the pain , he asked me to let his wife know that he had wrote a note for her . He said how beautiful she is , and told me to tell her to try and get some sleep , as she had been at home awake all night . I was also then taken away from the ward to be put on another one , I let one of the nurses know about the note . life can be so harsh , and in an environment like this , you can see how harsh it can be . But as dark or difficult life can be , it was the support from his parter that gave him light . I was once in B & Q and was looking at the packet of seeds . We haven 't got a garden but I was thinking about doing something with the space outside the house . I picked up my choice of seeds and was walking to the counter when it struck me that if it was down to probability , I would not be around to see the seeds grow and turn to flower . I turned around , put the container back and left the shop crying like a baby , this was the wrong attitude . I am having a scan a week on Friday , I get the results the following Thursday . My blood results show that the cancer as come back , but there are no tumours showing on the scan , yet . Whatever the scan results are I will be probably back on chemo soon , the doctors have said that it as come back looking at my bloods . In life , so far , the world as had a funny way of showing me the right and wrong direction in life , been in a situation I am not happy with or was not right for me , things have not gone in my way . I then have changed direction and things have magically turned and became positive , it may have taken time to get to that point , but it seems that it does . Almost like the world was working with me and not against . While I have been collecting my thoughts about knowing the cancer has come back , I have tried to carry on as usual . While shopping at my local catering shop , Nisbets I was given a receipt and was told that if i went online i would have a chance of winning a toaster . Trying to pull an expression like I was interested came natural , just like everyone else who had been served that morning , I knew as soon as I left the shop , the piece of paper wold be in the bin , but then I looked at the toaster ! now this was no ordinary toaster ! this was a see - through 150 quid magimix toaster . Lee , one of my friends , had told me about this toaster ! and we had one of many of our fascinating conversations , this one was on the subject of how it must be nice to have a see - through toaster because you could see if your toast was at perfect tone , but not to the point that it cost £ 150 quid ! Anyway ! I imagined winning the toaster . I was not picturing me with a fancy toaster , but just the satisfaction of going on Facebook , making my status " Feeling blessed " which really means " Feeling smug ! " and then tagging Lee . I ran home as fast a I could , I was half an hour late as I went in the car , and when I got home I went online and filled out the questionnaire . Two days later , i was called to be told I had won ! and what colour did i want the toaster to be ! I then remembered that Lee had left Facebook weeks ago ! the disappointment ! Was it really that easy ! I then heard a competition on Radio Aire , our local station , it was to win a 4 weeks advertisement package to advertise your business , which wold cost 1000s , eating my toast ! I clicked on the link . Feeling optimistic for competitions , but also aware I was turing into an amateur competition version of the very cleaver coupon kid , I decided to have another go and submit our catering trailer into the best looking trailer award in the yearly British street food award . After my last chemo I knew i had to jump out of my bed fighting to get better again quickly , so , if the cancer came back , I would be fit enough to deal with it . I needed to carry on life as much as I could , as much as was possible , wanted to try and go back to some kind of normality , the problem been that the catering equipment was getting heavy . We decided to get a trailer , and I have spent a lot of time on this , we had it converted and then in my spare time i have tried to do it up ! this as kept my mind active and in a better place , I have loved doing this . When i started to paint it black inside , i was worried that chemo brain had started to effect my judgement , but , standing back , it looks good . So it was nice to get a tweet to say we have been shortlisted by Richard Johnson from the British Street Food as the best 13 looking trailers . This is ongoing and is on a online voting system , - if you would like to vote click here - and click on Market Wraps and vote and its as simple as that - THANK YOU I haven 't done an update for ages ! I am sorry , it 's been quite hard this time around . I have recently found out I am diabetic , this . . . I am writing this from hospital , I had to cancel my chemotherapy due to this . I have been in St James now for four days now . I have n . . .
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Source : ARC Description : The small town of Cryer 's Cross is rocked by tragedy when an unassuming freshman disappears without a trace . Kendall Fletcher wasn 't that friendly with the missing girl , but the angst wreaks havoc on her OCD - addled brain . When a second student goes missing - someone close to Kendall 's heart - the community is in an uproar . Caught in a downward spiral of fear and anxiety , Kendall 's not sure she can hold it together . When she starts hearing the voices of the missing , calling out to her and pleading for help , she fears she 's losing her grip on reality . But when she finds messages scratched in a desk at school - messages that could only be from the missing student who used to sit there - Kendall decides that crazy or not , she 'd never forgive herself if she didn 't act on her suspicions . Something 's not right in Cryer 's Cross - and Kendall 's about to find out just how far the townspeople will go to keep their secrets buried . First line : Everything changes when Tiffany Quinn disappears . Kendall Fletcher has OCD . That 's an important thing to know about this story . It 's the reason I liked it . I 've never read a story where a character has OCD - but McMann did it exactly how I imagined it . It 's a secret struggle she has . Not many people know about Kendall 's OCD - her parents and her best friend / unannounced boyfriend Nico . Kendall tries to fight it but she can 't ; she can only live and move with it as part of her . She can only do her best . That 's why when Tiffany disappears she can 't handle it . She didn 't know Tiffany - not really - but Cryer 's Cross is a small town . A safe town . These things don 't happen here . Not much time is spent talking about Tiffany Quinn . The town moves on because it has to . The kids move on because they have to and when the new year starts , it brings with it two new students : Marlena and Jacian . Jacian is a suspect but when someone else disappears , they are in the clear - but Kendall 's entire world is shaken . Most of the book focuses on Kendall fighting her feels for Jacian - because she 's with Nico - and trying to cope with the loss that shakes her world . I liked Jacian and the dynamic of he and Kendall . I liked the idea of the story - that people go missing and a desk is the only clue - a desk and some secrets that have long - since been buried . It was definitely a creepy book and well - written . ( Again , I loved the OCD aspect . ) ( And it was very creepy ! ! ) What the book had in creepy and swoon - worthy romance , it lacked in other areas . I felt at times that Kendall 's voice changed . They were small moments where her internal dialogue ( which was always consistent ) sounded different than when she actually spoke . In those instances , it feel like McMann tried too hard to make her sound like a teenager . But all in all , again , I liked Kendall . Most of the characters were two - dimensional - I think of Nico and Marlena . And while they were secondary characters , they were still important to the story ( especially Nico ) but Marlena felt like filler to me . I enjoyed Jacian almost than Kendall . Honestly , I found the story highly predictable . I pegged it all in just a few pages . The beginning was full of potential and good story development , but then the end felt rushed . I didn 't like the wrapped - up - in - a - bow - but - not - really aspect of the ending . All these things happened that were pretty horrible for Kendall , yet at the end she 's seemingly unaffected . The story is wrapped up without being wrapped up . It was enjoyable on the whole . If you like creepy books then you should get Cryer 's Cross . My favorite part of this story : the thing Kendall hates most about herself saves her . I know I only talk about my love for YA typically , but there 's another series that has my attention . One that is so a - typical for me but full of intrigue , mystery , romance , funny characters and espionage ! This series is non other than The Pink Carnation novels ! I first discovered this series ( The Secret History of the Pink Carnation ) back in 2006 when my best friend and I found one single copy in a $ 4 bin at Borders . ( Note : I found both of favorite fiction authors this way ! Always look ! ) Anyway , she was taking a bus trip but I wanted to read it . So , she bought it , I read it / loved it and then she read it . I remember our conversation as something like , " There should be more of these " and lo and behold - - there were ! Over the years since then , Ashley and I gathered the books as we found them and now we are officially only short the newest book , The Orchid Affair . We live states away , so the trading is sometimes difficult BUT I am slowly reading and thoroughly enjoying . When a friend said Lauren Willig would be here for the Orchid tour , I jumped at the chance to go . Lauren & me . . . She started the night off with a reading of three passages from The Orchid Affair . The storyline for Orchid is completely enchanting - - as were the pieces she read . I can 't wait to get there . I 'm only on book 3 : The Deception of the Emerald Ring but I 'm looking forward with excitement ! It was great . Lauren was funny , charming , wore the cutest dress and entertained us with her stories of falling in the Boston snow , Paris policemen and claims of being nothing like character Eloise ( despite both women studying history at Harvard , & going to England to work on a dissertation . ) Lauren said of Orchid , " It 's a different book . Paris in January - - and no one is English . " She said Orchid - - as well as any book / movie about nannies - - follows two rules of The Sound of Music . This book is " Sound of Music meets James Bond . " Rule 1 : The nanny must inform the leader of the house that she disapproves of the way the children are raised / treated or the upkeep of something in the house . Rule 2 : She must attend an awkward party where she feels inadequate and under - dressed . Here 's the description to further pique your interest ! Laura Grey , a veteran governess , joins the Selwick Spy School expecting to find elaborate disguises and thrilling exploits in service to the spy known as the Pink Carnation . She hardly expects her first assignment to be serving as governess for the children of Andre Jaouen , right - hand man to Bonaparte 's minister of police . Jaouen and his arch rival , Gaston Delaroche , are investigating a suspected Royalist plot to unseat Bonaparte , and Laura 's mission is to report any suspicious findings . At first the job is as lively as Latin textbooks and knitting , but Laura begins to notice strange behavior from Jaouen - secret meetings and odd comings and goings . As Laura edges closer to her employer , she makes a shocking discovery and is surprised to learn that she has far more in common with Jaouen than she originally thought . After her readings , she took some q & a from guests . Hortense actually started course Lauren took toward this series because of a mini - series she watched in 5th grade and loved . Said she even wrote a novel in high school about Hortense . She also said ninth book featured Bonaparte - - as well as an American in Paris - - but nothing about Hortense . " Someone should write it ! " At one point she said six . . . and this is eight . So , she wasn 't saying definitely but maybe 15 . " The last three will draw the characters together . " Lauren said she 'd love to - - especially doing something in Latin America because Bonaparte 's reign even stretched there . Book 10 is Tommy Fluellen book and takes place in Wales . She explains that in 1804 , there was an underground revolution group and the first railroads were tested in 1805 . Both of those aspects can appear in the book . She also said Jane could possibly go to Italy in her book during the Napoleonic Wars . Q : What is Colin 's mystery ? She didn 't tell us . She did say three things . 1 ) He has multiple . 2 ) He may be a spy - - or he may not be . It can go either way . 3 ) There are more secrets to come out . " That family has secrets in the closet like others have skeletons ! " She also mentioned that she 'd love to write a spin - off murder mystery book featuring Colin and Eloise as murder suspects . " It may not happen but the person wouldn 't be a surprise and it would deserved . " His book is book 9 ! Most of the chapters begin with verses that he likes to write ( poorly ! ) He receives mysterious advice that Napoleon has a secret device and August wants to get it . He secures an invitation by helping a girl named Emma write masques - - it 's disastrous since August can 't write his own . She also tells us that Gwen is featured as a pirate queen and reminds the children to " pillage before you burn . " Sounds like fun ! I can 't wait to get through the series . If you get a chance to see Lauren Willig or read her books - - you should do it ! They will not disappoint . Thanks to everyone for you participation this week ! Hope you had fun getting to know Julie and the Iron Fey series . If you haven 't read it yet you need to ! determined by Random . org Ash strode to a nearby rock , swooped down , and tossed me a long , slightly curved stick . When I caught it , I saw that it was actually a leather sheath with a gilded brass hilt poking from the top . A sword . Ash was giving me a sword … why ? Oh , yeah . Because I wanted to learn to fight . Because I 'd asked him to teach me . Ash , watching me with that weary , knowing look on his face , shook his head . " You forgot , did you ? " " This is the perfect place . " Ash turned slightly to gaze around the clearing . " Quiet , hidden . We can catch our breath here . It 's a good place to learn while you 're waiting for your father to come out of it . When we 're done here , I have a feeling things will get much more chaotic . " He gestured to the sword in my hand . " Your first lesson begins now . Draw your sword . " I did . Unsheathing it sent a raspy shiver across the glen , and I gazed at the weapon in fascination . The blade was thin and slightly curved , an elegant looking weapon , razor sharp and deadly . A warning tickled the back of my mind . There was something about the blade that was … different . Blinking , I ran my fingers along the cool , gleaming edge , and a chill shot through my stomach . The blade was made of steel . Not faery steel . Not a fey sword covered in glamour . Real , ordinary iron . The kind that would burn faery flesh and sear away glamour . The kind that left wounds impossible to heal . I gaped at it , then at Ash , who looked remarkably calm to be facing his greatest weakness . " This is steel , " I told him , sure that Leanansidhe had made a mistake . He nodded . " An eighteenth - century Spanish saber . Leanansidhe nearly had a fit when I told her what I wanted , but she was able to track one down in exchange for a favor . " He paused then , wincing slightly . " A very large favor . " Alarmed , I stared at him . " What did you promise her ? " " It doesn 't matter . Nothing that endangers us in any way . " He hurried on before I could argue . " I wanted a light , slashing weapon for you , one with a good amount of reach , to keep opponents farther away . " He gestured to the saber with his own weapon , a blindingly quick stab of blue . " You 'll be moving around a lot , using speed instead of brute force against your enemies . That blade won 't block heavier weapons , and you don 't have the strength to swing a longsword effectively , so we 're going to have to teach you how to dodge . This was the best choice . " " But this is steel , " I repeated , listening to him in amazement . He could teach a class with his knowledge of weapons and fighting . " Why a real sword ? I could seriously hurt someone . " " Meghan . " Ash gave me a patient look . " That 's exactly why I chose it . You have an advantage with that weapon that none of us can touch . Even the most violent redcap will think twice about facing a real , mortal blade . It won 't scare the Iron fey , of course , but that 's where training will come in . " " How do you know ? " I bristled at his amused tone . " I could hit you . Even master swordsmen make mistakes . I could get a lucky shot , or you might not see me coming . I don 't want to hurt you . " He favored me with another patient look . " And how much experience do you have with swords and weapons in general ? " " Um . " I glanced down at the saber in my hand . " Thirty seconds ? " He smiled , that calm , irritatingly confident smirk . " You 're not going to hit me . " Ah ! It 's so lovely isn 't it ? ! The book is amazing ! On to the winning . . . . The lucky winner will receive your choice of the series from the Book Depository . It 's open international if TBD delivers there . Contest closes January 30 at 9 pm EST . Today , I have the lovely Julie Kagawa on for an interview ! She took time out of her crazy - busy schedule to answer these so I hope you enjoy it ! Before all that , here 's a little about Julie . Julie Kagawa was born in Sacramento , California . But nothing exciting really happened to her there . So , at the age of nine she and her family moved to Hawaii , which she soon discovered was inhabited by large carnivorous insects , colonies of house geckos , and frequent hurricanes . She spent much of her time in the ocean , when she wasn 't getting chased out of it by reef sharks , jellyfish , and the odd eel . Julie now lives in Louisville , Kentucky , where the frequency of shark attacks are at an all time low . She lives with her husband , two obnoxious cats , one Australian Shepherd who is too smart for his own good , and the latest addition , a hyper - active Papillon puppy . If you were an item on a Mexican restaurant menu , what would you be and why ? " Wrestling Goats and Making Stuff Up . " Tell us two truths and a lie . . * * * * I have the answer . You 'll get a chance to guess in the giveaway tomorrow for an extra entry ! I owned a talking parrot that would wolf - whistle at girls . I don 't think I can remember back that far . My parents tell me all I did even as a small child was read . What do you in your free time ? Lol , post - writing process ? What 's that ? When you 're writing a series , there 's always another book to be written . I take short breaks between stories , but I never really stop . : ) I 'd say a certain icy prince gave me a heck of a lot of trouble when I was writing his story . We would argue . I would be like : " say something already ! Open up ! Tell me what you 're feeling , dang it ! " And he would just stand there and be stubborn . Thanks Julie ! That was fun . And thanks for writing lovely books that I get to read . Come back tomorrow for a chance to win your choice of an Iron Fey book ! Format : Paperback , 386 pages Description : Half Summer faery princess , half human , Meghan has never fit in anywhere . Deserted by the Winter prince she thought loved her , she is prisoner to the Winter faery queen . As war looms between Summer and Winter , Meghan knows that the real danger comes from the Iron fey - ironbound faeries that only she and her absent prince have seen . But no one believes her . I thought it was over . That my time with the fey , the impossible choices I had to make , the sacrifices of those I loved , was behind me . But a storm is approaching , an army of Iron fey that will drag me back , kicking and screaming . Drag me away from the banished prince who 's sworn to stand by my side . Drag me into the core of conflict so powerful , I 'm not sure anyone can survive it . I LOVE THIS BOOK . It 's my favorite of the series ( until the next of course because nothing will be as great as a whole book in Ash 's perspective . I 'm drooling already ) . Why do I love this book ? I 've made a list . Great opening . From page one , we see the repercussions from the decision at the end of Iron Daughter . You start immediately rooting for Meghan . The things that unfold on the first ten pages are the reasons for everything in the rest . You know , immediately , that there 's a threat . Not only for the Nevernever , not only for Ash . But for Meghan . For her family . That is one thing you don 't mess with . The rest of my list is all centered around the characters . They are the thing I can talk about the most without ruining the book sooo . . . characters ! Again , Julie Kagawa develops these amazing characters . Meghan . I love Meghan in this book . I think this book completely blows her character out of the water and makes me look back on her in the other two books with fondness . Really . She 's that good here . The entire book is Meghan 's journey to save them , to save Nevernever , to fight the Iron Fey and mostly , to survive . Ash . He is an incredible character . If you didn 't catch that before , you catch it here . He sacrifices a lot for Meghan and he works so incredibly hard to keep her safe . Plus , they have lovey - dovey moments of goodness . Grim . " I am a cat . " That says it all , right ? I mean , he knows everything . He 's a smart cat . Puck . I 'm team Ash but I like Puck - even when he makes unwise decisions - because he 's a good friend to Meghan . He 's a good friend to Ash even , deep down . He 's a good guy all around . And funny . But he proves that no every good guy is perfect . The truth comes out ! Meghan discovers many things that affect her life forever . Things I can 't tell you because they will spoil but know that they are big . Really big . The end . I said in my review of Iron Daughter that the end of this book killed me . It did . The wait for Iron Knight is going to be looooong . The whole world is on verge of disappearing . The other books in the series have been leading us to this moment . This is the ultimate battle to save the Nevernever or to lose it . In the end , it all comes down Meghan and a choice . It all comes down to the Iron Fey . Format : Paperback , 304 pages Description : Half Summer faery princess , half human , Meghan has never fit in anywhere . Deserted by the Winter prince she thought loved her , she is prisoner to the Winter faery queen . As war looms between Summer and Winter , Meghan knows that the real danger comes from the Iron fey - ironbound faeries that only she and her absent prince have seen . But no one believes her . Worse , Meghan 's own fey powers have been cut off . She 's stuck in Faery with only her wits for help . Trusting anyone would be foolish . Trusting a seeming traitor could be deadly . But even as she grows a backbone of iron , Meghan can 't help but hear the whispers of longing in her all - too - human heart . First line : The Iron King stood before me , magnificent in his beauty , silver hair whipping about me like an unruly waterfall . I really enjoyed The Iron Daughter . The story opens with Meghan in the Winter Court - and Ash nowhere to be found . When he does show up , which is always in the nick of time , he isn 't interested in her anymore . Feeling alone and trapped in the cold world of Winter , things can 't be any worse for Meghan . Of course , shortly after the Summer Court hands over the changing of the seasons to The Winter Court , something horrible happens . Things for Meghan and Ash and the whole of the courts are at stake and only Meghan can save them . Meghan grew a lot in this book . You can tell the things she faced in IK changed her . I know I liked her more . I believed her selflessness and quest to save the realm with her friends at her side . This story takes them farther and deeper into danger than the last . Like in the first book , the character interactions in Iron Daughter are incredible . They feed off each other and bounce off the page . I can 't even tell you how much I love each of Kagawa 's characters . Even if they seem minor and unimportant , they are so well developed and alive ( and rarely unimportant . ) Each one adds a unique piece to the story . As always , Grim is my favorite ( next to Ash . ) Why ? " I am a cat . " Aside from her amazing characterizations , the details in every scene are intense and vivid . Every place Meghan and crew travel is painted in my head because of her descriptions . The Nevernever and our world are both dripping in great scenery . Ash and Puck . Ash and Puck . Well , Ash is smoldery . Puck is Puck . Separately , both characters add so much : humor , heart , love , smolder , swoon , joy . Together they bring all of that and witty , sarcastic banter . I can 't get enough of that ! Plus , this is the book Meghan chooses between them , or they choose for her , or fate steps in . You can call it what you like . Everything builds and builds in Iron Daughter to lead up to the most amazing ending . I seriously think I was stopped breathing and died . Well , until I read Iron Queen , that is . Description : MEGHAN CHASE HAS A SECRET DESTINY - ONE SHE COULD NEVER HAVE IMAGINED … Something has always felt slightly off in Meghan 's life , ever since her father disappeared before her eyes when she was six . She has never quite fit in at school … or at home . When a dark stranger begins watching her from afar , and her prankster best friend becomes strangely protective of her , Meghan senses that everything she 's known is about to change . But she could never have guessed the truth - that she is the daughter of a mythical faery king and is a pawn in a deadly war . Now Meghan will learn just how far she 'll go to save someone she cares about , to stop a mysterious evil no faery creature dare face … and to find love with a young prince who might rather see her dead than let her touch his icy heart . First line : Ten years ago , on my sixth birthday , my father disappeared . I 'm don 't read many books about the Fae . It 's not personal - and I 've tried on numerous occasions - but I can 't do it . There are a couple that I 've picked up a few times and still not succeeded . There was even one I read the entire first book and attempted the second but couldn 't . I don 't know why that is . I like faeries , I just haven 't had much luck reading the books about them . When I was bullied into reading The Iron King , I went into it open - minded , though I wasn 't sure I 'd like it . Is anyone surprised that I was wrong ? I was hooked from the first line of this story . Meghan lost her dad and then spent the last ten years feeling invisible to her family . The only people who 've ever noticed her are best friend Robbie , the prankster extraordinaire and best friend , and her four - year - old brother , Ethan . ( And the dog , of course . ) That 's why when things get weird at home and at school , her only option is to learn the truth about her heritage . That truth : she 's Oberon 's daughter . Yup , the Oberon . And now , with the help of Robbie - who 's also known as Puck - she enters the faery world to save someone she loves . Her journey through the Nevernever ( part of the faery world ) is full of great imagery and description . I feel as if I 'm there with her , seeing what she 's seeing and experiencing this magical world . It 's a unique story when the added mystery of the Iron Fey come into play . I like the ideas behind it and the way it all develops . Plus , the story is full of great characters . I 'm not a huge fan of Meghan but since she 's the main character , I am forced to like her just a little - I just like her sidekicks a little more . Grimalkin is hilarious and I really liked that darn cat . I also liked Puck , as he provided great commentary . I laughed a lot during this book . The best part of the book ? Ash . I mean , he 's a prince so he automatically wins . He 's dark and has a snarky sense of humor . He 's smoldering and swoon - worthy . I 'm in . I 'm totally in . Even if this book sucked ( which it did not ) I would still read it just for him . That 's how much I grew to love him . Luckily , it was so fabulous that I got to enjoy the whole story and the characters and the plot twists . Ash was the ice cream on the proverbial cake . And my , my , my what good cake it was . Julie Kagawa is one hilarious and talented author . Her series , The Iron King , The Iron Daughter , Winter 's Passage ( a short story ) is about to have a sister book . The Iron Queen hits shelves on Tuesday and in honor of that , it 's Julie Kagawa Week ! And I 'm excited . This is another series that my book bully told me to read and I have thanked her relentlessly . ( If not , thanks again ! ) I love this series . It 's fun , intriguing , full of swoon - worthy boys and a beautiful world . I never liked books about faeries until I read this one . So , it has a special place in my heart . Check out this video below for more information about the series . On another note , there 's also an epic blog tour happening . You can check out those details here . Every day this week I will post my reviews of all three of the books and at the end of the week , you can win ! It 's easy . Read the reviews ( and possible other surprises ! ) and then on Friday , you can get a chance to win by filling out the form on Friday . But , as always , there are a few ways you start gaining extra entries NOW into the giveaway . All of these are optional but they are here if you 'd like to gain them ! How to get Extra Entries : ( each item is + 1 entry unless indicated . Keep track of what you do - - there will be a tally on Friday when you enter the giveaway . ) Follow this blog Follow me on twitter Follow Julie on twitter Tweet the reviews , the interview , the giveaway . ( You can get + 1 entry each day from this , starting today . You MUST include @ daniellebunner and # JulieWeek in the tweet . ) Leave a comment each day Publisher : Delacorte Books for Young Reader Publication Date : February 11 , 2011Series or Standalone : StandaloneISBN : 978 - 0385736916Format : Paperback , 528 pages Description : Sylvie Davis is a ballerina who can 't dance . A broken leg ended her career , but Sylvie 's pain runs deeper . What broke her heart was her father 's death , and what 's breaking her spirit is her mother 's remarriage - a union that 's only driven an even deeper wedge into their already tenuous relationship . Uprooting her from her Manhattan apartment and shipping her to Alabama is her mother 's solution for Sylvie 's unhappiness . Her father 's cousin is restoring a family home in a town rich with her family 's history . And that 's where things start to get shady . As it turns out , her family has a lot more history than Sylvie ever knew . More unnerving , though , are the two guys that she can 't stop thinking about . Shawn Maddox , the resident golden boy , seems to be perfect in every way . But Rhys - a handsome , mysterious foreign guest of her cousin 's - has a hold on her that she doesn 't quite understand . The reason I picked up this books was the cover . Seriously . We have a Delacorte poster at work with all these book covers on it - - and from the first day I saw it ( and each time I walked past it ) I liked the cover . So , when it finally graced the shelves , I picked it up and read the prologue . Then , I was hooked and home we went . The book is about Sylvie Davis - - ballerina extraordinare who messes up a landing and shatters her career , as well her leg . After her mother remarries ( and Sylvie makes a big mistake ) , Sylvie goes to spend a month in Alabama with her cousin . When the city girl is thrust into the country , her nerve isn 't the only thing to go . Her sanity is on the line as well because now , Sylvie can see ghosts . I liked Sylvie - - she was spunky and mean and somewhat spoiled and annoying , but I liked her . I would be mean too if I 'd lost everything I 'd worked my whole life for and thrust into the deep south . As someone who lived in the south for years , I understand the way it can be overwhelming . I 'm not a prima ballerina but I relate . The discovery she makes about herself throughout this book isn 't the one you expect her to find . It 's still important . There 's a Welsh guy in this book ; his name is Rhys . I like men with accents . There 's also a Southern boy ; his name is Shawn . These are the best two kinds of guys - - ones with accents . Of course , I rooted for the English boy . He was snappy and handsome , whereas Shawn was good - ole - boy . Both make for some good reading . Which reminds me , Sylvie knows what she wants and she stands up for it . The story was full of magic and ghosts and mysteries galore . I never figured out what was happening , which makes for a good story ! My only qualm with the book was that it was 528 pages . Pages that were overstuffed with excessive descriptions and internal dialogue . I know that I skipped over too many pages . It took too long for things to really start taking shape . It could 've happened quicker and deleted all the excess . Despite that , it was still a great read . Publisher : Delacorte Books for Young Readers Publication Date : February 11 , 2011Series or Standalone : StandaloneISBN : 978 - 0385738910Format : Hardcover , 352 pagesDescription : Tessa doesn 't believe in magic . Or Fate . But there 's something weird about the dusty unicorn tapestry she discovers in a box of old books . She finds the creature woven within it compelling and frightening . After the tapestry comes into her possession , Tessa experiences dreams of the past and scenes from a brutal hunt that she herself participated in . When she accidentally pulls a thread from the tapestry , Tessa releases a terrible centuries old secret . She also meets William de Chaucy , an irresistible 16th - century nobleman . His fate is as inextricably tied to the tapestry as Tessa 's own . Together , they must correct the wrongs of the past . But then the Fates step in , making a tangled mess of Tessa 's life . Now everyone she loves will be destroyed unless Tessa does their bidding and defeats a cruel and crafty ancient enemy . First line : On a hillside stood three figures . Can I say first how refreshing it is to read a story in third person ? Maybe it 's just me , but so much YA is in first now . I 'm not saying first person is bad or anything - - it 's not . In fact , both are hard to do . But I really loved that about this book . I don 't know the last book I read in third . . . maybe Clockwork Angel ? Not only was the POV enjoyable to read , it made the book stronger . With this POV , we were able to see the past , Tessa 's present , the antagonist 's present and the fates better . It was all sorts of amazing . In fact , everything about this book for me was refreshing . And when I say refreshing , I mean here 's a glass of sweet tea while you 're mowing the yard at noon in July in the armpit of South Carolina ( or Georgia ) . That kind of refreshing . Yum ! Tessa was a wonderful MC . She wasn 't too average or too needy . She didn 't really complain . She didn 't have - - or want - - everything and she didn 't need more than she had . She was very content , even despite all the sadness she carried around from the loss of her mother . That too was refreshing . She really was a good friend and a good daughter who happened upon a magical tapestry . A tapestry with a bleeding unicorn and a loose thread , which she pulled and then bam - - cute British boy from the 1500s in her bedroom . And bam - - story . I 'm trying to figure out what to say because all I have is praise . I was completely taken with this book from the first page . It was intriguing and woven together in such a way that you couldn 't figure it out . At all . At least , I couldn 't - - and more , I didn 't want to . I wanted to be surprised , to be carried away without know what was going to happen . That 's a big deal for me because I like to be in control . Maurissa Guibord kept control of the story , of my mind , of me . I couldn 't stop reading ! This was a wonderfully written debut ! The story was rich with details , emotion and so much mythology . I think that was my favorite part . Unicorns . Fate . Magic . Past and present . Life as a thread . It poses * subtle thinkable issues in the middle of all the fun ! How much control do we really have in our life ? This is what Tessa tries to figure out . And Will . Will . William de Chauncy . ( You love him already because of his name . ) He 's a great counter to Tessa . He 's smart and calm . He makes a comment to her that she tries to fix everything - - and he doesn 't . He goes with it , figures it out as they move along . And for a guy who 's tossed 500 years into the future , he handles it pretty well . I would 've freaked out I 'm sure . I keep replaying scenes in my head - - and oh , how brilliant Posted by I still haven 't sent out the prizes yet . Sorry . I wanted to take a second to tell you what was happening . This was my last week : " They say that the cure for love will make me happy and safe forever . And I 've always believed them . Until now . Now everything has changed . Now , I 'd rather be infected with love for the tiniest sliver of a second than live a hundred years smothered by a lie . " ( Quote from back ) Publisher : HarperCollins Date : February 1 , 2011Series or Stand - alone : First in trilogyISBN : 978 - 0061726828Format : Hardcover , 448 pagesDescription : Before scientists found the cure , people thought love was a good thing . They didn 't understand that once love - the deliria - blooms in your blood , there is no escaping its hold . Things are different now . Scientists are able to eradicate love , and the governments demands that all citizens receive the cure upon turning eighteen . Lena Holoway has always looked forward to the day when she 'll be cured . A life without love is a life without pain : safe , measured , predictable , and happy . But with ninety - five days left until her treatment , Lena does the unthinkable : She falls in love . First line : It has been sixty - four years since the president and the Consortium identified love as a disease , and forty - three years since the scientist perfected a cure . There 's a quote by Oscar Wilde that says , " Keep love in your heart . A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead . The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring . " This is Delirium . This is the world that Lena Holoway lives in - a world without love . A world , in my head , that is a lot like this quote : sunless , poor , dead . Forty - three years ago , the government developed a cure for amor deliria nervosa , a disease that caused impaired judgment , uncontrollable thoughts , rapid heartbeat , an inability to function , a disturbed state of mind . Fever . Restlessness . Illusions . At the age of eighteen , every person receives this cure and becomes a member of society . They can live after that , free from the worries and delirium that amor deliria nervosa causes . What is the cure ? The government removes a part of the brain that controls amor deliria nervosa - love . Love destroyed the world until The Cure . Lena is counting down the days , ready , willing . She wants to start this new life they have planned for her . Of course , then the unthinkable happens . She meets Alex - and falls in love . The world Lauren Oliver created is haunting . Imagine a world where everyone simply is . Parents feel no affection toward their children . Wives feel no affection toward their husbands . People don 't love each other . Everyone plans your life and you simply follow . I can only imagine it because of this book , this moving , hopeful , devastating book . Lena is good protagonist . At first , she 's not that interesting . Not that extraordinary and overly cautious . She cares too much and not enough . Then , a boy laughs and her whole world is turned upside down . That 's the moment I loved her . Everything that happens after that is a whirlwind of romance and discovery and hope in the midst of despair . The secrets that Lena learns - and how she handles them - really show all that she 's risking and all that she 's lost . It 's amazing to see her discover the sunlight . Alex is the boy she falls in love with . He 's everything she shouldn 't want and everything she does . They are star - crossed lovers in every sense of the word . And being such , you have this feeling the whole time that it won 't end well for them . But you want it to . You root for them . Alex is cultured and smart and very swoon - worthy . He helps Lena , guides her , pulls the strength out of her . Their romance is one of the few in YA that 's completely developed and justified . You fall in love with them . You feel the appeal of this boy and his world . Not only is the story amazing , the writing - oh the writing . I could take a highlighter to this book and highlighDelirium really stands out for me . I actually gave it to a friend - who doesn 't read YA at all - and she adored it . She said she cried . When we met up again , I asked her why and she said , " It was devastating and beautiful . " That 's a very fitting line . Everything about Delirium is devastatingly beautiful . It 's a love story that will haunt you and make you wonder if all those songs about the world needing love and being love ( and love in general , ) really have a point after all . And the biggest question of all : What would the world be like without love ? Posted by It 's no secret that I write . I mean , that 's half the purpose of this blog . It 's a huge part of my life and right now , I 'm in a rut . I told a friend today I was a car stuck in the snow , my wheels spinning and me yelling for help but unable to move . Then , I came home and wrote this poem . Now , I 'm not a poet - - I write fiction . But , there is a special place to me made for poetry . It was how started in middle school ( poems and really bad songs that I thought were amazing . ) I find that when I 'm most lost or in need of direction or a place to vent , I turn to poetry . I thought that since I can 't really share any piece of my novels here ( not smart with the wanting - to - be - published thing ) , I could at least share this . This is a step for me - - so don 't tell me it sucks . It very well may . And some of the rhymes don 't line up - - but ironically I didn 't know it rhymed until my second read - though . That was not intentional . Anyway , read on . Maybe you will understand it . That is , after all , why we write it . To share it and to have someone else understand it . * PS . One bad comment and I close the commenting . I 'm not in a place to handle that . It 's definitely a " say something nice or nothing at all " kind of post . Stuck in the Snow Spinning , spinning , stuck in place All these questions yelled in space . Publication Date : February 1 , 2011Series or Standalone : StandaloneISBN : 0373210280 Format : Paperback , 224 pages Description : Bridget Duke is the uncontested ruler of her school . The meanest girl with the biggest secret insecurities . And when new girl Anna Judge arrives , things start to fall apart for Bridget : friends don 't worship as attentively , teachers don 't fall for her wide - eyed " who me ? " look , expulsion looms ahead and the one boy she 's always loved - Liam Ward - can barely even look at her anymore . When a desperate Bridget drives too fast and crashes her car , she ends up in limbo , facing everyone she 's wronged and walking a few uncomfortable miles in their shoes . Now she has only one chance to make a last impression . Though she might end up dead , she has one last shot at redemption and the chance to right the wrongs she 's inflicted on the people who mean the most to her . I hated Bridget . I mean , from page one I hated her . And I think that was brilliant , why I kept reading . . As the story went on , I liked her more and I struggled with that because I didn 't want to . I don 't understand her much but yet , i do . She was intriguing protagonist . I had to know what happened and that was why I kept reading . I was enthralled by Bridget and couldn 't put the book down ! It 's a good story about how our actions and words effect other people - - and how we don 't really know what when we do it . There are repercussions that we have to eventually come to terms with and moments in other people 's lives that we have no idea about . This book explored that . Ultimately , it was okay . It didn 't suck or anything but in the end I was dissatisfied with the result . Harbison spent most of the book replaying scenes , merely changing from one point of view to the other . The best of these was Meredith 's scene . ( As well as Liam 's . ) It could 've gone a little deeper with the characters and I wish more time had been spent showing us other instances ( besides the ones we saw at the beginning ) . I liked seeing there opinion of those things - - and seeing them from Bridget 's perspective in their eyes - - but , it seemed to drag . And where those moments could have readched huge depths , they only seemed to scratch the surface . When she gets to go home and " Fix it " I thought it all came to easily . I wanted her to struggle with it more - - and perhaps to fail . Everything seemed to be wrapped up in a pretty bow as " I 've seen the error in my ways and I 'm sorry . " And everyone forgives her . I guess I didn 't find it believable . The fact that it happens over twelve hours made it hard to do that . So much of the book was spent telling us how horrible she was to everyone and then it was wrapped in thirty pages . I wanted to really see her struggle with her horrible - ness , not just cry and ask for forgiveness . I really wanted to SEE her change . Or , again , to see her fail . I also wanted to see everyone 's apology . Some were left out - - and having been a hugeAll in all , it was a good then lackluster . I won 't buy it for myself but it has a lesson . It has Liam , who is too good for Bridget , and it really shows the side of forgiveness that people aren 't willing to provide . Huh . . . . that explains my feelings from before . Perhaps it 's not believable because we don 't easily forgive . Something to ponder . Posted by Thanks to everyone who entered the giveaway - - - and my sincerest thanks for following . There are lots of good things on the docket already for this year and I can 't wait to share . The winners are below ! Since we 're in a snow storm , it may be a few days before I get to send it out . Keep an eye out . : ) Today is 1 / 11 / 11 . What does that mean ? It 's the release date for ACROSS THE UNIVERSE by Beth Revis ! ! Header courtesy of Novel Thoughts . My goal by the end of this post is to make you want it . In fact , if you make it through this post before you buy it , I 'll be impressed . Oh yea , you can buy here : Fireside Bookstore ( They have signed books there ! ) IndieboundAmazon AND , when you get your pretty finished copy , you can enter this contest ! If you don 't know , which you should , I LOVE this book . In fact , here 's my mini - review . You can read my full review here ! Godspeed that has been traveling though space for 300 years . The people aboard are waiting for the new society that lies ahead . These are the people who will populate the uncharted territory - them and the secret stash of frozen bodies that lie under the main levels of the ship . Amy is one of the frozen . When she is woken 50 years before Godspeed is scheduled to land on the new planet , everything goes into chaos . She 's too different , too much of anomaly and her very existence threatens everything , including Elder . Elder is the next in line to lead the ship to safety and despite the commands from Eldest , the current leader , there 's something about Amy that he can 't ignore . Elder finds himself at the center of a mystery that 's bigger than both he and Amy , he knows she 's the only person he can trust . But can Amy allow herself to trust Elder ? The answers to everything lie within each other . ACROSS THE UNIVERSE is an adventure that everyone will want to read - boys and girls , moms and dads - and you won 't want to miss this incredible thrill ride , that 's part - dystopia , part - sci - fi and part - all the things you 're afraid to wonder about . The great people at Penguin ( who you should follow on twitter , too ! ) reached out across the blogosphere to join in the celebration of Across the Universe ! ! They have given some exclusives that have never been seen before today . Why ? Because we have some things to celebrate ! First off : an EXCLUSIVE video in which Beth talks about ATU and explains everything you need to know ( not everything but a lot ! ) about the layout of the good ship Godspeed . Wow ! So coYou can also get to know Beth Revis ( who is fantastic by the way ) by checking out her website , her blog , and her twitter . I hope you are drooling - - like , incessantly . I hope it 's so bad that you keep scrolling back up , wanting to buy this book . You should do it . You won 't regret it ! Happy ACROSS THE UNIVERSE day and congrats to Beth ! ! ! Instead of making New Year 's Resolutions that I forget about in a couple weeks , I decided to make some goals that I would hope to achieve in 2011 - - and some monthly resolutions , which I 'm calling challenges . I like that word better . Not everything is ironed out yet but most of it is , so I thought I should post it . I like accountability ! : ) 2011 Goals Write ! I want to finish this WIP and write at one - two more . Read . I 'd like to read 100 books - - 12 of which will be classics . Be more intentional . This includes personally , spiritually and blogger - ly , especially by commenting on EVERY post I read . It 's all about support ! ( Thanks to Gail & Erica for the idea ! ) David Tennant . I want to watch everything he stars in that I can get my hands on . He 's brilliant . ( I mean , I named my nook after him . ) Be joyful . Everything I do is purposeful , fun and uplifting . I want to be happy and positive , not let things get me down . Be content all around . And , a side not for ' 11 , since I only have limited control . The Elevensies . Get as many to sign my nook case as possible - - the perfect marker of The Year of Awesome / new decade . Each month I will pick one of these to focus on . They aren 't designated to a month yet - - since I won 't know what month I can / need to work on what . So , when I figure that out , I will inform you ! Write every day . I don 't do this like I should . So , as inspired by NaNoWriMo , I want a copy month in which I write x amount of words every day ! When I do this , I 'll offer it up & see if anyone else wants to join . It 's a good discipline that I don 't follow as I should . Read YA staples . I haven 't been in YA long . And , because of that , I 've missed out on a lot of major YA staple books and authors . I 'll spend a whole month reading people like John Green , Meg Cabot , Neil Gaiman , Susane Colasanti , Elizabeth Scott , Sarah Dessen , Jennifer Echols . When the time comes , I 'll probably ask you for some suggestions . Journal month . I used to journal ALL THE TIME . I mean , I still have some from middle school . It 's a habit I want to get back into . So , I 'm going to dedicate a month to it . Month of prayer . Yall , I am a bad pray - er . So , I figured I 'd try to spend a month intentionally doing just that . This year is about self - improvement and challenges and this is both of those things . Be healthy month . I know , I know . . . health is ongoing . But I don 't know basics . I have a friend who does - - eating and exercise - - and I want to learn . Maybe a month isn 't long but I have to start somewhere ! No TV month . * gasp ! * I know . I watch a lot of tv . . . too much . So , at some point this year , I 'll spend a whole month without it . Think of all I 'll get accomplished ! * gulps * That 's six months - - half the year . It 's a good place to start . I figure everything will line up at some point . I can say that the only month I have nailed down is January : Survive ! After experiencing 1 / 4 of it , I can say that 's going to be tough ! I 'm excited ! 200 followers - - that 's so awesome ! You totally , totally rock ! ! I 'm not going to delay the giveaway news with some big speech . BUT if I could do this , I would . . . And as The Doctor would say to each of you : You are brilliant . ( Really . He would . I promise . You can see here . ) Anyway . We 're casting lots for prizes ! Here are the rules , it 's pretty simple . You get three lots ( entries ) for being a follower . You can use them toward anything that you see here ! They can go toward one prize or you can split them up . It 's your choice . If you are casting all your lots toward one book , there 's an option that says " Add the rest of my lots to this entry . " If you click that , whatever remains will go there . You MUST BE a follower to enter . Since , I 'm celebrating you . : ) Normally I don 't require that . This IS international . Giveaway ends on January 11 . There are no extra entries but feel free to spread the word ! Here 's what 's up for grabs ! ( All are ARCs ) You can click on a book for the info . And this Author Swag Pack ! ! I have two of them . : ) It includes : Brightly Woven bookmark , Mockingjay tattoos and mini - posters , an Across The Universe goody , signed A Touch Moral swag , Michelle Zink bookplate & signed Angelfire swag . That 's the giveaway ! ! ! Here 's the form . Thanks for following ! ! 2011 is going to be such fun ! & lt ; p & gt ; & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; gt ; & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; gt ; & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; gt ; & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; gt ; & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; gt ; & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; gt ; Loading . . . & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; / p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; gt ; & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; / p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; gt ; & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; / p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; gt ; & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; / p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; aPosted by First . . . . I HAVE 200 FOLLOWERS ! ! WOO ! ! So . . . a contest is coming . I 'll post the details late tonight or early morning ! Thanks everyone for following me ! ! For starters , look at my blog ! Isn 't it just so lovely ? The amazing Amy re - designed everything for me - - including my header which I 'm in love with . She even made those cute buttons in my sidebar so everyone can pass along the noise ! I owe a hugely ginormous thank you to Amy for taking the time . I love it ! Another thing that will happen in a few weeks will be loosing the blogspot IP address and gaining a . net one . Stay tuned for that . His name is Tennant Fitzwilliam North . You may call him Fitz or Tenne ( pronounced Ten - nay ) or Doctor . His name is a mouthful but it took a lot of thinking . Tennant : as in David Tennant , aka Tenth doctor from Doctor Who . He was my favorite and I think he 's brilliant . One of my goals this year is to watch everything he 's been in that I can find . Fitzwilliam : as in Darcy . As in Pride & Prejudice . As in yum . North : as in main character from Brightly Woven by Alexandra Bracken . I love North . And it just sounds good at the end . : ) Last night was epic again because I finished Part One of my WIP ! I 've been toying with this story since September and really writing since NaNo . It 's a three part beast . I wrote Part Two first and have been dying to finish Part One . It felt like it would never happen but now it has ! I 'm pumped about it . Only thing that 's left is Part Three and then I can share with my readers and CP and jump into edit mode ! Woo ! ! ! Now , the big announcement : I 'm * almost * at 200 followers ! * throws more confetti * It 's kind of mind - blowing . I thank each and every one of you because you are awesome ! I 'm devising a giveaway of awesome to celebrate ! After I reach 200 , I will let you know all the details once I 've figured them out . I promise I will try to make it amazing ! Hello new lovely visitors to my little corner of the world ! I 'm glad you stopped by . Sit . Have a cupcake and a cup of coffee . Take a r . . . I had the pleasure of doing my first guest post ever ! ! ! * squeal * It was great . Well , not really . It took forever to figure out what to say . . . I 'm off today , which is awesome . You have no idea . And my WIP found itself last week in the midst of a huge hole . After talking through . . . I am writing three books right now . And revising - or soon to be revising - three other books right now . Plus playing editor for all my fan . . . It 's a day for celebrating the people you love . And honestly , friends , I love all of you . If I didn 't , I wouldn 't spend so much . . .
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Source : ARC Description : The small town of Cryer 's Cross is rocked by tragedy when an unassuming freshman disappears without a trace . Kendall Fletcher wasn 't that friendly with the missing girl , but the angst wreaks havoc on her OCD - addled brain . When a second student goes missing - someone close to Kendall 's heart - the community is in an uproar . Caught in a downward spiral of fear and anxiety , Kendall 's not sure she can hold it together . When she starts hearing the voices of the missing , calling out to her and pleading for help , she fears she 's losing her grip on reality . But when she finds messages scratched in a desk at school - messages that could only be from the missing student who used to sit there - Kendall decides that crazy or not , she 'd never forgive herself if she didn 't act on her suspicions . Something 's not right in Cryer 's Cross - and Kendall 's about to find out just how far the townspeople will go to keep their secrets buried . First line : Everything changes when Tiffany Quinn disappears . Kendall Fletcher has OCD . That 's an important thing to know about this story . It 's the reason I liked it . I 've never read a story where a character has OCD - but McMann did it exactly how I imagined it . It 's a secret struggle she has . Not many people know about Kendall 's OCD - her parents and her best friend / unannounced boyfriend Nico . Kendall tries to fight it but she can 't ; she can only live and move with it as part of her . She can only do her best . That 's why when Tiffany disappears she can 't handle it . She didn 't know Tiffany - not really - but Cryer 's Cross is a small town . A safe town . These things don 't happen here . Not much time is spent talking about Tiffany Quinn . The town moves on because it has to . The kids move on because they have to and when the new year starts , it brings with it two new students : Marlena and Jacian . Jacian is a suspect but when someone else disappears , they are in the clear - but Kendall 's entire world is shaken . Most of the book focuses on Kendall fighting her feels for Jacian - because she 's with Nico - and trying to cope with the loss that shakes her world . I liked Jacian and the dynamic of he and Kendall . I liked the idea of the story - that people go missing and a desk is the only clue - a desk and some secrets that have long - since been buried . It was definitely a creepy book and well - written . ( Again , I loved the OCD aspect . ) ( And it was very creepy ! ! ) What the book had in creepy and swoon - worthy romance , it lacked in other areas . I felt at times that Kendall 's voice changed . They were small moments where her internal dialogue ( which was always consistent ) sounded different than when she actually spoke . In those instances , it feel like McMann tried too hard to make her sound like a teenager . But all in all , again , I liked Kendall . Most of the characters were two - dimensional - I think of Nico and Marlena . And while they were secondary characters , they were still important to the story ( especially Nico ) but Marlena felt like filler to me . I enjoyed Jacian almost than Kendall . Honestly , I found the story highly predictable . I pegged it all in just a few pages . The beginning was full of potential and good story development , but then the end felt rushed . I didn 't like the wrapped - up - in - a - bow - but - not - really aspect of the ending . All these things happened that were pretty horrible for Kendall , yet at the end she 's seemingly unaffected . The story is wrapped up without being wrapped up . It was enjoyable on the whole . If you like creepy books then you should get Cryer 's Cross . My favorite part of this story : the thing Kendall hates most about herself saves her . I know I only talk about my love for YA typically , but there 's another series that has my attention . One that is so a - typical for me but full of intrigue , mystery , romance , funny characters and espionage ! This series is non other than The Pink Carnation novels ! I first discovered this series ( The Secret History of the Pink Carnation ) back in 2006 when my best friend and I found one single copy in a $ 4 bin at Borders . ( Note : I found both of favorite fiction authors this way ! Always look ! ) Anyway , she was taking a bus trip but I wanted to read it . So , she bought it , I read it / loved it and then she read it . I remember our conversation as something like , " There should be more of these " and lo and behold - - there were ! Over the years since then , Ashley and I gathered the books as we found them and now we are officially only short the newest book , The Orchid Affair . We live states away , so the trading is sometimes difficult BUT I am slowly reading and thoroughly enjoying . When a friend said Lauren Willig would be here for the Orchid tour , I jumped at the chance to go . Lauren & me . . . She started the night off with a reading of three passages from The Orchid Affair . The storyline for Orchid is completely enchanting - - as were the pieces she read . I can 't wait to get there . I 'm only on book 3 : The Deception of the Emerald Ring but I 'm looking forward with excitement ! It was great . Lauren was funny , charming , wore the cutest dress and entertained us with her stories of falling in the Boston snow , Paris policemen and claims of being nothing like character Eloise ( despite both women studying history at Harvard , & going to England to work on a dissertation . ) Lauren said of Orchid , " It 's a different book . Paris in January - - and no one is English . " She said Orchid - - as well as any book / movie about nannies - - follows two rules of The Sound of Music . This book is " Sound of Music meets James Bond . " Rule 1 : The nanny must inform the leader of the house that she disapproves of the way the children are raised / treated or the upkeep of something in the house . Rule 2 : She must attend an awkward party where she feels inadequate and under - dressed . Here 's the description to further pique your interest ! Laura Grey , a veteran governess , joins the Selwick Spy School expecting to find elaborate disguises and thrilling exploits in service to the spy known as the Pink Carnation . She hardly expects her first assignment to be serving as governess for the children of Andre Jaouen , right - hand man to Bonaparte 's minister of police . Jaouen and his arch rival , Gaston Delaroche , are investigating a suspected Royalist plot to unseat Bonaparte , and Laura 's mission is to report any suspicious findings . At first the job is as lively as Latin textbooks and knitting , but Laura begins to notice strange behavior from Jaouen - secret meetings and odd comings and goings . As Laura edges closer to her employer , she makes a shocking discovery and is surprised to learn that she has far more in common with Jaouen than she originally thought . After her readings , she took some q & a from guests . Hortense actually started course Lauren took toward this series because of a mini - series she watched in 5th grade and loved . Said she even wrote a novel in high school about Hortense . She also said ninth book featured Bonaparte - - as well as an American in Paris - - but nothing about Hortense . " Someone should write it ! " At one point she said six . . . and this is eight . So , she wasn 't saying definitely but maybe 15 . " The last three will draw the characters together . " Lauren said she 'd love to - - especially doing something in Latin America because Bonaparte 's reign even stretched there . Book 10 is Tommy Fluellen book and takes place in Wales . She explains that in 1804 , there was an underground revolution group and the first railroads were tested in 1805 . Both of those aspects can appear in the book . She also said Jane could possibly go to Italy in her book during the Napoleonic Wars . Q : What is Colin 's mystery ? She didn 't tell us . She did say three things . 1 ) He has multiple . 2 ) He may be a spy - - or he may not be . It can go either way . 3 ) There are more secrets to come out . " That family has secrets in the closet like others have skeletons ! " She also mentioned that she 'd love to write a spin - off murder mystery book featuring Colin and Eloise as murder suspects . " It may not happen but the person wouldn 't be a surprise and it would deserved . " His book is book 9 ! Most of the chapters begin with verses that he likes to write ( poorly ! ) He receives mysterious advice that Napoleon has a secret device and August wants to get it . He secures an invitation by helping a girl named Emma write masques - - it 's disastrous since August can 't write his own . She also tells us that Gwen is featured as a pirate queen and reminds the children to " pillage before you burn . " Sounds like fun ! I can 't wait to get through the series . If you get a chance to see Lauren Willig or read her books - - you should do it ! They will not disappoint . Thanks to everyone for you participation this week ! Hope you had fun getting to know Julie and the Iron Fey series . If you haven 't read it yet you need to ! determined by Random . org Ash strode to a nearby rock , swooped down , and tossed me a long , slightly curved stick . When I caught it , I saw that it was actually a leather sheath with a gilded brass hilt poking from the top . A sword . Ash was giving me a sword … why ? Oh , yeah . Because I wanted to learn to fight . Because I 'd asked him to teach me . Ash , watching me with that weary , knowing look on his face , shook his head . " You forgot , did you ? " " This is the perfect place . " Ash turned slightly to gaze around the clearing . " Quiet , hidden . We can catch our breath here . It 's a good place to learn while you 're waiting for your father to come out of it . When we 're done here , I have a feeling things will get much more chaotic . " He gestured to the sword in my hand . " Your first lesson begins now . Draw your sword . " I did . Unsheathing it sent a raspy shiver across the glen , and I gazed at the weapon in fascination . The blade was thin and slightly curved , an elegant looking weapon , razor sharp and deadly . A warning tickled the back of my mind . There was something about the blade that was … different . Blinking , I ran my fingers along the cool , gleaming edge , and a chill shot through my stomach . The blade was made of steel . Not faery steel . Not a fey sword covered in glamour . Real , ordinary iron . The kind that would burn faery flesh and sear away glamour . The kind that left wounds impossible to heal . I gaped at it , then at Ash , who looked remarkably calm to be facing his greatest weakness . " This is steel , " I told him , sure that Leanansidhe had made a mistake . He nodded . " An eighteenth - century Spanish saber . Leanansidhe nearly had a fit when I told her what I wanted , but she was able to track one down in exchange for a favor . " He paused then , wincing slightly . " A very large favor . " Alarmed , I stared at him . " What did you promise her ? " " It doesn 't matter . Nothing that endangers us in any way . " He hurried on before I could argue . " I wanted a light , slashing weapon for you , one with a good amount of reach , to keep opponents farther away . " He gestured to the saber with his own weapon , a blindingly quick stab of blue . " You 'll be moving around a lot , using speed instead of brute force against your enemies . That blade won 't block heavier weapons , and you don 't have the strength to swing a longsword effectively , so we 're going to have to teach you how to dodge . This was the best choice . " " But this is steel , " I repeated , listening to him in amazement . He could teach a class with his knowledge of weapons and fighting . " Why a real sword ? I could seriously hurt someone . " " Meghan . " Ash gave me a patient look . " That 's exactly why I chose it . You have an advantage with that weapon that none of us can touch . Even the most violent redcap will think twice about facing a real , mortal blade . It won 't scare the Iron fey , of course , but that 's where training will come in . " " How do you know ? " I bristled at his amused tone . " I could hit you . Even master swordsmen make mistakes . I could get a lucky shot , or you might not see me coming . I don 't want to hurt you . " He favored me with another patient look . " And how much experience do you have with swords and weapons in general ? " " Um . " I glanced down at the saber in my hand . " Thirty seconds ? " He smiled , that calm , irritatingly confident smirk . " You 're not going to hit me . " Ah ! It 's so lovely isn 't it ? ! The book is amazing ! On to the winning . . . . The lucky winner will receive your choice of the series from the Book Depository . It 's open international if TBD delivers there . Contest closes January 30 at 9 pm EST . Today , I have the lovely Julie Kagawa on for an interview ! She took time out of her crazy - busy schedule to answer these so I hope you enjoy it ! Before all that , here 's a little about Julie . Julie Kagawa was born in Sacramento , California . But nothing exciting really happened to her there . So , at the age of nine she and her family moved to Hawaii , which she soon discovered was inhabited by large carnivorous insects , colonies of house geckos , and frequent hurricanes . She spent much of her time in the ocean , when she wasn 't getting chased out of it by reef sharks , jellyfish , and the odd eel . Julie now lives in Louisville , Kentucky , where the frequency of shark attacks are at an all time low . She lives with her husband , two obnoxious cats , one Australian Shepherd who is too smart for his own good , and the latest addition , a hyper - active Papillon puppy . If you were an item on a Mexican restaurant menu , what would you be and why ? " Wrestling Goats and Making Stuff Up . " Tell us two truths and a lie . . * * * * I have the answer . You 'll get a chance to guess in the giveaway tomorrow for an extra entry ! I owned a talking parrot that would wolf - whistle at girls . I don 't think I can remember back that far . My parents tell me all I did even as a small child was read . What do you in your free time ? Lol , post - writing process ? What 's that ? When you 're writing a series , there 's always another book to be written . I take short breaks between stories , but I never really stop . : ) I 'd say a certain icy prince gave me a heck of a lot of trouble when I was writing his story . We would argue . I would be like : " say something already ! Open up ! Tell me what you 're feeling , dang it ! " And he would just stand there and be stubborn . Thanks Julie ! That was fun . And thanks for writing lovely books that I get to read . Come back tomorrow for a chance to win your choice of an Iron Fey book ! Format : Paperback , 386 pages Description : Half Summer faery princess , half human , Meghan has never fit in anywhere . Deserted by the Winter prince she thought loved her , she is prisoner to the Winter faery queen . As war looms between Summer and Winter , Meghan knows that the real danger comes from the Iron fey - ironbound faeries that only she and her absent prince have seen . But no one believes her . I thought it was over . That my time with the fey , the impossible choices I had to make , the sacrifices of those I loved , was behind me . But a storm is approaching , an army of Iron fey that will drag me back , kicking and screaming . Drag me away from the banished prince who 's sworn to stand by my side . Drag me into the core of conflict so powerful , I 'm not sure anyone can survive it . I LOVE THIS BOOK . It 's my favorite of the series ( until the next of course because nothing will be as great as a whole book in Ash 's perspective . I 'm drooling already ) . Why do I love this book ? I 've made a list . Great opening . From page one , we see the repercussions from the decision at the end of Iron Daughter . You start immediately rooting for Meghan . The things that unfold on the first ten pages are the reasons for everything in the rest . You know , immediately , that there 's a threat . Not only for the Nevernever , not only for Ash . But for Meghan . For her family . That is one thing you don 't mess with . The rest of my list is all centered around the characters . They are the thing I can talk about the most without ruining the book sooo . . . characters ! Again , Julie Kagawa develops these amazing characters . Meghan . I love Meghan in this book . I think this book completely blows her character out of the water and makes me look back on her in the other two books with fondness . Really . She 's that good here . The entire book is Meghan 's journey to save them , to save Nevernever , to fight the Iron Fey and mostly , to survive . Ash . He is an incredible character . If you didn 't catch that before , you catch it here . He sacrifices a lot for Meghan and he works so incredibly hard to keep her safe . Plus , they have lovey - dovey moments of goodness . Grim . " I am a cat . " That says it all , right ? I mean , he knows everything . He 's a smart cat . Puck . I 'm team Ash but I like Puck - even when he makes unwise decisions - because he 's a good friend to Meghan . He 's a good friend to Ash even , deep down . He 's a good guy all around . And funny . But he proves that no every good guy is perfect . The truth comes out ! Meghan discovers many things that affect her life forever . Things I can 't tell you because they will spoil but know that they are big . Really big . The end . I said in my review of Iron Daughter that the end of this book killed me . It did . The wait for Iron Knight is going to be looooong . The whole world is on verge of disappearing . The other books in the series have been leading us to this moment . This is the ultimate battle to save the Nevernever or to lose it . In the end , it all comes down Meghan and a choice . It all comes down to the Iron Fey . Format : Paperback , 304 pages Description : Half Summer faery princess , half human , Meghan has never fit in anywhere . Deserted by the Winter prince she thought loved her , she is prisoner to the Winter faery queen . As war looms between Summer and Winter , Meghan knows that the real danger comes from the Iron fey - ironbound faeries that only she and her absent prince have seen . But no one believes her . Worse , Meghan 's own fey powers have been cut off . She 's stuck in Faery with only her wits for help . Trusting anyone would be foolish . Trusting a seeming traitor could be deadly . But even as she grows a backbone of iron , Meghan can 't help but hear the whispers of longing in her all - too - human heart . First line : The Iron King stood before me , magnificent in his beauty , silver hair whipping about me like an unruly waterfall . I really enjoyed The Iron Daughter . The story opens with Meghan in the Winter Court - and Ash nowhere to be found . When he does show up , which is always in the nick of time , he isn 't interested in her anymore . Feeling alone and trapped in the cold world of Winter , things can 't be any worse for Meghan . Of course , shortly after the Summer Court hands over the changing of the seasons to The Winter Court , something horrible happens . Things for Meghan and Ash and the whole of the courts are at stake and only Meghan can save them . Meghan grew a lot in this book . You can tell the things she faced in IK changed her . I know I liked her more . I believed her selflessness and quest to save the realm with her friends at her side . This story takes them farther and deeper into danger than the last . Like in the first book , the character interactions in Iron Daughter are incredible . They feed off each other and bounce off the page . I can 't even tell you how much I love each of Kagawa 's characters . Even if they seem minor and unimportant , they are so well developed and alive ( and rarely unimportant . ) Each one adds a unique piece to the story . As always , Grim is my favorite ( next to Ash . ) Why ? " I am a cat . " Aside from her amazing characterizations , the details in every scene are intense and vivid . Every place Meghan and crew travel is painted in my head because of her descriptions . The Nevernever and our world are both dripping in great scenery . Ash and Puck . Ash and Puck . Well , Ash is smoldery . Puck is Puck . Separately , both characters add so much : humor , heart , love , smolder , swoon , joy . Together they bring all of that and witty , sarcastic banter . I can 't get enough of that ! Plus , this is the book Meghan chooses between them , or they choose for her , or fate steps in . You can call it what you like . Everything builds and builds in Iron Daughter to lead up to the most amazing ending . I seriously think I was stopped breathing and died . Well , until I read Iron Queen , that is . Description : MEGHAN CHASE HAS A SECRET DESTINY - ONE SHE COULD NEVER HAVE IMAGINED … Something has always felt slightly off in Meghan 's life , ever since her father disappeared before her eyes when she was six . She has never quite fit in at school … or at home . When a dark stranger begins watching her from afar , and her prankster best friend becomes strangely protective of her , Meghan senses that everything she 's known is about to change . But she could never have guessed the truth - that she is the daughter of a mythical faery king and is a pawn in a deadly war . Now Meghan will learn just how far she 'll go to save someone she cares about , to stop a mysterious evil no faery creature dare face … and to find love with a young prince who might rather see her dead than let her touch his icy heart . First line : Ten years ago , on my sixth birthday , my father disappeared . I 'm don 't read many books about the Fae . It 's not personal - and I 've tried on numerous occasions - but I can 't do it . There are a couple that I 've picked up a few times and still not succeeded . There was even one I read the entire first book and attempted the second but couldn 't . I don 't know why that is . I like faeries , I just haven 't had much luck reading the books about them . When I was bullied into reading The Iron King , I went into it open - minded , though I wasn 't sure I 'd like it . Is anyone surprised that I was wrong ? I was hooked from the first line of this story . Meghan lost her dad and then spent the last ten years feeling invisible to her family . The only people who 've ever noticed her are best friend Robbie , the prankster extraordinaire and best friend , and her four - year - old brother , Ethan . ( And the dog , of course . ) That 's why when things get weird at home and at school , her only option is to learn the truth about her heritage . That truth : she 's Oberon 's daughter . Yup , the Oberon . And now , with the help of Robbie - who 's also known as Puck - she enters the faery world to save someone she loves . Her journey through the Nevernever ( part of the faery world ) is full of great imagery and description . I feel as if I 'm there with her , seeing what she 's seeing and experiencing this magical world . It 's a unique story when the added mystery of the Iron Fey come into play . I like the ideas behind it and the way it all develops . Plus , the story is full of great characters . I 'm not a huge fan of Meghan but since she 's the main character , I am forced to like her just a little - I just like her sidekicks a little more . Grimalkin is hilarious and I really liked that darn cat . I also liked Puck , as he provided great commentary . I laughed a lot during this book . The best part of the book ? Ash . I mean , he 's a prince so he automatically wins . He 's dark and has a snarky sense of humor . He 's smoldering and swoon - worthy . I 'm in . I 'm totally in . Even if this book sucked ( which it did not ) I would still read it just for him . That 's how much I grew to love him . Luckily , it was so fabulous that I got to enjoy the whole story and the characters and the plot twists . Ash was the ice cream on the proverbial cake . And my , my , my what good cake it was . Julie Kagawa is one hilarious and talented author . Her series , The Iron King , The Iron Daughter , Winter 's Passage ( a short story ) is about to have a sister book . The Iron Queen hits shelves on Tuesday and in honor of that , it 's Julie Kagawa Week ! And I 'm excited . This is another series that my book bully told me to read and I have thanked her relentlessly . ( If not , thanks again ! ) I love this series . It 's fun , intriguing , full of swoon - worthy boys and a beautiful world . I never liked books about faeries until I read this one . So , it has a special place in my heart . Check out this video below for more information about the series . On another note , there 's also an epic blog tour happening . You can check out those details here . Every day this week I will post my reviews of all three of the books and at the end of the week , you can win ! It 's easy . Read the reviews ( and possible other surprises ! ) and then on Friday , you can get a chance to win by filling out the form on Friday . But , as always , there are a few ways you start gaining extra entries NOW into the giveaway . All of these are optional but they are here if you 'd like to gain them ! How to get Extra Entries : ( each item is + 1 entry unless indicated . Keep track of what you do - - there will be a tally on Friday when you enter the giveaway . ) Follow this blog Follow me on twitter Follow Julie on twitter Tweet the reviews , the interview , the giveaway . ( You can get + 1 entry each day from this , starting today . You MUST include @ daniellebunner and # JulieWeek in the tweet . ) Leave a comment each day Publisher : Delacorte Books for Young Reader Publication Date : February 11 , 2011Series or Standalone : StandaloneISBN : 978 - 0385736916Format : Paperback , 528 pages Description : Sylvie Davis is a ballerina who can 't dance . A broken leg ended her career , but Sylvie 's pain runs deeper . What broke her heart was her father 's death , and what 's breaking her spirit is her mother 's remarriage - a union that 's only driven an even deeper wedge into their already tenuous relationship . Uprooting her from her Manhattan apartment and shipping her to Alabama is her mother 's solution for Sylvie 's unhappiness . Her father 's cousin is restoring a family home in a town rich with her family 's history . And that 's where things start to get shady . As it turns out , her family has a lot more history than Sylvie ever knew . More unnerving , though , are the two guys that she can 't stop thinking about . Shawn Maddox , the resident golden boy , seems to be perfect in every way . But Rhys - a handsome , mysterious foreign guest of her cousin 's - has a hold on her that she doesn 't quite understand . The reason I picked up this books was the cover . Seriously . We have a Delacorte poster at work with all these book covers on it - - and from the first day I saw it ( and each time I walked past it ) I liked the cover . So , when it finally graced the shelves , I picked it up and read the prologue . Then , I was hooked and home we went . The book is about Sylvie Davis - - ballerina extraordinare who messes up a landing and shatters her career , as well her leg . After her mother remarries ( and Sylvie makes a big mistake ) , Sylvie goes to spend a month in Alabama with her cousin . When the city girl is thrust into the country , her nerve isn 't the only thing to go . Her sanity is on the line as well because now , Sylvie can see ghosts . I liked Sylvie - - she was spunky and mean and somewhat spoiled and annoying , but I liked her . I would be mean too if I 'd lost everything I 'd worked my whole life for and thrust into the deep south . As someone who lived in the south for years , I understand the way it can be overwhelming . I 'm not a prima ballerina but I relate . The discovery she makes about herself throughout this book isn 't the one you expect her to find . It 's still important . There 's a Welsh guy in this book ; his name is Rhys . I like men with accents . There 's also a Southern boy ; his name is Shawn . These are the best two kinds of guys - - ones with accents . Of course , I rooted for the English boy . He was snappy and handsome , whereas Shawn was good - ole - boy . Both make for some good reading . Which reminds me , Sylvie knows what she wants and she stands up for it . The story was full of magic and ghosts and mysteries galore . I never figured out what was happening , which makes for a good story ! My only qualm with the book was that it was 528 pages . Pages that were overstuffed with excessive descriptions and internal dialogue . I know that I skipped over too many pages . It took too long for things to really start taking shape . It could 've happened quicker and deleted all the excess . Despite that , it was still a great read . Publisher : Delacorte Books for Young Readers Publication Date : February 11 , 2011Series or Standalone : StandaloneISBN : 978 - 0385738910Format : Hardcover , 352 pagesDescription : Tessa doesn 't believe in magic . Or Fate . But there 's something weird about the dusty unicorn tapestry she discovers in a box of old books . She finds the creature woven within it compelling and frightening . After the tapestry comes into her possession , Tessa experiences dreams of the past and scenes from a brutal hunt that she herself participated in . When she accidentally pulls a thread from the tapestry , Tessa releases a terrible centuries old secret . She also meets William de Chaucy , an irresistible 16th - century nobleman . His fate is as inextricably tied to the tapestry as Tessa 's own . Together , they must correct the wrongs of the past . But then the Fates step in , making a tangled mess of Tessa 's life . Now everyone she loves will be destroyed unless Tessa does their bidding and defeats a cruel and crafty ancient enemy . First line : On a hillside stood three figures . Can I say first how refreshing it is to read a story in third person ? Maybe it 's just me , but so much YA is in first now . I 'm not saying first person is bad or anything - - it 's not . In fact , both are hard to do . But I really loved that about this book . I don 't know the last book I read in third . . . maybe Clockwork Angel ? Not only was the POV enjoyable to read , it made the book stronger . With this POV , we were able to see the past , Tessa 's present , the antagonist 's present and the fates better . It was all sorts of amazing . In fact , everything about this book for me was refreshing . And when I say refreshing , I mean here 's a glass of sweet tea while you 're mowing the yard at noon in July in the armpit of South Carolina ( or Georgia ) . That kind of refreshing . Yum ! Tessa was a wonderful MC . She wasn 't too average or too needy . She didn 't really complain . She didn 't have - - or want - - everything and she didn 't need more than she had . She was very content , even despite all the sadness she carried around from the loss of her mother . That too was refreshing . She really was a good friend and a good daughter who happened upon a magical tapestry . A tapestry with a bleeding unicorn and a loose thread , which she pulled and then bam - - cute British boy from the 1500s in her bedroom . And bam - - story . I 'm trying to figure out what to say because all I have is praise . I was completely taken with this book from the first page . It was intriguing and woven together in such a way that you couldn 't figure it out . At all . At least , I couldn 't - - and more , I didn 't want to . I wanted to be surprised , to be carried away without know what was going to happen . That 's a big deal for me because I like to be in control . Maurissa Guibord kept control of the story , of my mind , of me . I couldn 't stop reading ! This was a wonderfully written debut ! The story was rich with details , emotion and so much mythology . I think that was my favorite part . Unicorns . Fate . Magic . Past and present . Life as a thread . It poses * subtle thinkable issues in the middle of all the fun ! How much control do we really have in our life ? This is what Tessa tries to figure out . And Will . Will . William de Chauncy . ( You love him already because of his name . ) He 's a great counter to Tessa . He 's smart and calm . He makes a comment to her that she tries to fix everything - - and he doesn 't . He goes with it , figures it out as they move along . And for a guy who 's tossed 500 years into the future , he handles it pretty well . I would 've freaked out I 'm sure . I keep replaying scenes in my head - - and oh , how brilliant Posted by I still haven 't sent out the prizes yet . Sorry . I wanted to take a second to tell you what was happening . This was my last week : " They say that the cure for love will make me happy and safe forever . And I 've always believed them . Until now . Now everything has changed . Now , I 'd rather be infected with love for the tiniest sliver of a second than live a hundred years smothered by a lie . " ( Quote from back ) Publisher : HarperCollins Date : February 1 , 2011Series or Stand - alone : First in trilogyISBN : 978 - 0061726828Format : Hardcover , 448 pagesDescription : Before scientists found the cure , people thought love was a good thing . They didn 't understand that once love - the deliria - blooms in your blood , there is no escaping its hold . Things are different now . Scientists are able to eradicate love , and the governments demands that all citizens receive the cure upon turning eighteen . Lena Holoway has always looked forward to the day when she 'll be cured . A life without love is a life without pain : safe , measured , predictable , and happy . But with ninety - five days left until her treatment , Lena does the unthinkable : She falls in love . First line : It has been sixty - four years since the president and the Consortium identified love as a disease , and forty - three years since the scientist perfected a cure . There 's a quote by Oscar Wilde that says , " Keep love in your heart . A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead . The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring . " This is Delirium . This is the world that Lena Holoway lives in - a world without love . A world , in my head , that is a lot like this quote : sunless , poor , dead . Forty - three years ago , the government developed a cure for amor deliria nervosa , a disease that caused impaired judgment , uncontrollable thoughts , rapid heartbeat , an inability to function , a disturbed state of mind . Fever . Restlessness . Illusions . At the age of eighteen , every person receives this cure and becomes a member of society . They can live after that , free from the worries and delirium that amor deliria nervosa causes . What is the cure ? The government removes a part of the brain that controls amor deliria nervosa - love . Love destroyed the world until The Cure . Lena is counting down the days , ready , willing . She wants to start this new life they have planned for her . Of course , then the unthinkable happens . She meets Alex - and falls in love . The world Lauren Oliver created is haunting . Imagine a world where everyone simply is . Parents feel no affection toward their children . Wives feel no affection toward their husbands . People don 't love each other . Everyone plans your life and you simply follow . I can only imagine it because of this book , this moving , hopeful , devastating book . Lena is good protagonist . At first , she 's not that interesting . Not that extraordinary and overly cautious . She cares too much and not enough . Then , a boy laughs and her whole world is turned upside down . That 's the moment I loved her . Everything that happens after that is a whirlwind of romance and discovery and hope in the midst of despair . The secrets that Lena learns - and how she handles them - really show all that she 's risking and all that she 's lost . It 's amazing to see her discover the sunlight . Alex is the boy she falls in love with . He 's everything she shouldn 't want and everything she does . They are star - crossed lovers in every sense of the word . And being such , you have this feeling the whole time that it won 't end well for them . But you want it to . You root for them . Alex is cultured and smart and very swoon - worthy . He helps Lena , guides her , pulls the strength out of her . Their romance is one of the few in YA that 's completely developed and justified . You fall in love with them . You feel the appeal of this boy and his world . Not only is the story amazing , the writing - oh the writing . I could take a highlighter to this book and highlighDelirium really stands out for me . I actually gave it to a friend - who doesn 't read YA at all - and she adored it . She said she cried . When we met up again , I asked her why and she said , " It was devastating and beautiful . " That 's a very fitting line . Everything about Delirium is devastatingly beautiful . It 's a love story that will haunt you and make you wonder if all those songs about the world needing love and being love ( and love in general , ) really have a point after all . And the biggest question of all : What would the world be like without love ? Posted by It 's no secret that I write . I mean , that 's half the purpose of this blog . It 's a huge part of my life and right now , I 'm in a rut . I told a friend today I was a car stuck in the snow , my wheels spinning and me yelling for help but unable to move . Then , I came home and wrote this poem . Now , I 'm not a poet - - I write fiction . But , there is a special place to me made for poetry . It was how started in middle school ( poems and really bad songs that I thought were amazing . ) I find that when I 'm most lost or in need of direction or a place to vent , I turn to poetry . I thought that since I can 't really share any piece of my novels here ( not smart with the wanting - to - be - published thing ) , I could at least share this . This is a step for me - - so don 't tell me it sucks . It very well may . And some of the rhymes don 't line up - - but ironically I didn 't know it rhymed until my second read - though . That was not intentional . Anyway , read on . Maybe you will understand it . That is , after all , why we write it . To share it and to have someone else understand it . * PS . One bad comment and I close the commenting . I 'm not in a place to handle that . It 's definitely a " say something nice or nothing at all " kind of post . Stuck in the Snow Spinning , spinning , stuck in place All these questions yelled in space . Publication Date : February 1 , 2011Series or Standalone : StandaloneISBN : 0373210280 Format : Paperback , 224 pages Description : Bridget Duke is the uncontested ruler of her school . The meanest girl with the biggest secret insecurities . And when new girl Anna Judge arrives , things start to fall apart for Bridget : friends don 't worship as attentively , teachers don 't fall for her wide - eyed " who me ? " look , expulsion looms ahead and the one boy she 's always loved - Liam Ward - can barely even look at her anymore . When a desperate Bridget drives too fast and crashes her car , she ends up in limbo , facing everyone she 's wronged and walking a few uncomfortable miles in their shoes . Now she has only one chance to make a last impression . Though she might end up dead , she has one last shot at redemption and the chance to right the wrongs she 's inflicted on the people who mean the most to her . I hated Bridget . I mean , from page one I hated her . And I think that was brilliant , why I kept reading . . As the story went on , I liked her more and I struggled with that because I didn 't want to . I don 't understand her much but yet , i do . She was intriguing protagonist . I had to know what happened and that was why I kept reading . I was enthralled by Bridget and couldn 't put the book down ! It 's a good story about how our actions and words effect other people - - and how we don 't really know what when we do it . There are repercussions that we have to eventually come to terms with and moments in other people 's lives that we have no idea about . This book explored that . Ultimately , it was okay . It didn 't suck or anything but in the end I was dissatisfied with the result . Harbison spent most of the book replaying scenes , merely changing from one point of view to the other . The best of these was Meredith 's scene . ( As well as Liam 's . ) It could 've gone a little deeper with the characters and I wish more time had been spent showing us other instances ( besides the ones we saw at the beginning ) . I liked seeing there opinion of those things - - and seeing them from Bridget 's perspective in their eyes - - but , it seemed to drag . And where those moments could have readched huge depths , they only seemed to scratch the surface . When she gets to go home and " Fix it " I thought it all came to easily . I wanted her to struggle with it more - - and perhaps to fail . Everything seemed to be wrapped up in a pretty bow as " I 've seen the error in my ways and I 'm sorry . " And everyone forgives her . I guess I didn 't find it believable . The fact that it happens over twelve hours made it hard to do that . So much of the book was spent telling us how horrible she was to everyone and then it was wrapped in thirty pages . I wanted to really see her struggle with her horrible - ness , not just cry and ask for forgiveness . I really wanted to SEE her change . Or , again , to see her fail . I also wanted to see everyone 's apology . Some were left out - - and having been a hugeAll in all , it was a good then lackluster . I won 't buy it for myself but it has a lesson . It has Liam , who is too good for Bridget , and it really shows the side of forgiveness that people aren 't willing to provide . Huh . . . . that explains my feelings from before . Perhaps it 's not believable because we don 't easily forgive . Something to ponder . Posted by Thanks to everyone who entered the giveaway - - - and my sincerest thanks for following . There are lots of good things on the docket already for this year and I can 't wait to share . The winners are below ! Since we 're in a snow storm , it may be a few days before I get to send it out . Keep an eye out . : ) Today is 1 / 11 / 11 . What does that mean ? It 's the release date for ACROSS THE UNIVERSE by Beth Revis ! ! Header courtesy of Novel Thoughts . My goal by the end of this post is to make you want it . In fact , if you make it through this post before you buy it , I 'll be impressed . Oh yea , you can buy here : Fireside Bookstore ( They have signed books there ! ) IndieboundAmazon AND , when you get your pretty finished copy , you can enter this contest ! If you don 't know , which you should , I LOVE this book . In fact , here 's my mini - review . You can read my full review here ! Godspeed that has been traveling though space for 300 years . The people aboard are waiting for the new society that lies ahead . These are the people who will populate the uncharted territory - them and the secret stash of frozen bodies that lie under the main levels of the ship . Amy is one of the frozen . When she is woken 50 years before Godspeed is scheduled to land on the new planet , everything goes into chaos . She 's too different , too much of anomaly and her very existence threatens everything , including Elder . Elder is the next in line to lead the ship to safety and despite the commands from Eldest , the current leader , there 's something about Amy that he can 't ignore . Elder finds himself at the center of a mystery that 's bigger than both he and Amy , he knows she 's the only person he can trust . But can Amy allow herself to trust Elder ? The answers to everything lie within each other . ACROSS THE UNIVERSE is an adventure that everyone will want to read - boys and girls , moms and dads - and you won 't want to miss this incredible thrill ride , that 's part - dystopia , part - sci - fi and part - all the things you 're afraid to wonder about . The great people at Penguin ( who you should follow on twitter , too ! ) reached out across the blogosphere to join in the celebration of Across the Universe ! ! They have given some exclusives that have never been seen before today . Why ? Because we have some things to celebrate ! First off : an EXCLUSIVE video in which Beth talks about ATU and explains everything you need to know ( not everything but a lot ! ) about the layout of the good ship Godspeed . Wow ! So coYou can also get to know Beth Revis ( who is fantastic by the way ) by checking out her website , her blog , and her twitter . I hope you are drooling - - like , incessantly . I hope it 's so bad that you keep scrolling back up , wanting to buy this book . You should do it . You won 't regret it ! Happy ACROSS THE UNIVERSE day and congrats to Beth ! ! ! Instead of making New Year 's Resolutions that I forget about in a couple weeks , I decided to make some goals that I would hope to achieve in 2011 - - and some monthly resolutions , which I 'm calling challenges . I like that word better . Not everything is ironed out yet but most of it is , so I thought I should post it . I like accountability ! : ) 2011 Goals Write ! I want to finish this WIP and write at one - two more . Read . I 'd like to read 100 books - - 12 of which will be classics . Be more intentional . This includes personally , spiritually and blogger - ly , especially by commenting on EVERY post I read . It 's all about support ! ( Thanks to Gail & Erica for the idea ! ) David Tennant . I want to watch everything he stars in that I can get my hands on . He 's brilliant . ( I mean , I named my nook after him . ) Be joyful . Everything I do is purposeful , fun and uplifting . I want to be happy and positive , not let things get me down . Be content all around . And , a side not for ' 11 , since I only have limited control . The Elevensies . Get as many to sign my nook case as possible - - the perfect marker of The Year of Awesome / new decade . Each month I will pick one of these to focus on . They aren 't designated to a month yet - - since I won 't know what month I can / need to work on what . So , when I figure that out , I will inform you ! Write every day . I don 't do this like I should . So , as inspired by NaNoWriMo , I want a copy month in which I write x amount of words every day ! When I do this , I 'll offer it up & see if anyone else wants to join . It 's a good discipline that I don 't follow as I should . Read YA staples . I haven 't been in YA long . And , because of that , I 've missed out on a lot of major YA staple books and authors . I 'll spend a whole month reading people like John Green , Meg Cabot , Neil Gaiman , Susane Colasanti , Elizabeth Scott , Sarah Dessen , Jennifer Echols . When the time comes , I 'll probably ask you for some suggestions . Journal month . I used to journal ALL THE TIME . I mean , I still have some from middle school . It 's a habit I want to get back into . So , I 'm going to dedicate a month to it . Month of prayer . Yall , I am a bad pray - er . So , I figured I 'd try to spend a month intentionally doing just that . This year is about self - improvement and challenges and this is both of those things . Be healthy month . I know , I know . . . health is ongoing . But I don 't know basics . I have a friend who does - - eating and exercise - - and I want to learn . Maybe a month isn 't long but I have to start somewhere ! No TV month . * gasp ! * I know . I watch a lot of tv . . . too much . So , at some point this year , I 'll spend a whole month without it . Think of all I 'll get accomplished ! * gulps * That 's six months - - half the year . It 's a good place to start . I figure everything will line up at some point . I can say that the only month I have nailed down is January : Survive ! After experiencing 1 / 4 of it , I can say that 's going to be tough ! I 'm excited ! 200 followers - - that 's so awesome ! You totally , totally rock ! ! I 'm not going to delay the giveaway news with some big speech . BUT if I could do this , I would . . . And as The Doctor would say to each of you : You are brilliant . ( Really . He would . I promise . You can see here . ) Anyway . We 're casting lots for prizes ! Here are the rules , it 's pretty simple . You get three lots ( entries ) for being a follower . You can use them toward anything that you see here ! They can go toward one prize or you can split them up . It 's your choice . If you are casting all your lots toward one book , there 's an option that says " Add the rest of my lots to this entry . " If you click that , whatever remains will go there . You MUST BE a follower to enter . Since , I 'm celebrating you . : ) Normally I don 't require that . This IS international . Giveaway ends on January 11 . There are no extra entries but feel free to spread the word ! Here 's what 's up for grabs ! ( All are ARCs ) You can click on a book for the info . And this Author Swag Pack ! ! I have two of them . : ) It includes : Brightly Woven bookmark , Mockingjay tattoos and mini - posters , an Across The Universe goody , signed A Touch Moral swag , Michelle Zink bookplate & signed Angelfire swag . That 's the giveaway ! ! ! Here 's the form . Thanks for following ! ! 2011 is going to be such fun ! & lt ; p & gt ; & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; gt ; & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; gt ; & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; gt ; & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; gt ; & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; gt ; & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; gt ; Loading . . . & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; / p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; gt ; & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; / p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; gt ; & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; / p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; gt ; & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; lt ; / p & amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; amp ; aPosted by First . . . . I HAVE 200 FOLLOWERS ! ! WOO ! ! So . . . a contest is coming . I 'll post the details late tonight or early morning ! Thanks everyone for following me ! ! For starters , look at my blog ! Isn 't it just so lovely ? The amazing Amy re - designed everything for me - - including my header which I 'm in love with . She even made those cute buttons in my sidebar so everyone can pass along the noise ! I owe a hugely ginormous thank you to Amy for taking the time . I love it ! Another thing that will happen in a few weeks will be loosing the blogspot IP address and gaining a . net one . Stay tuned for that . His name is Tennant Fitzwilliam North . You may call him Fitz or Tenne ( pronounced Ten - nay ) or Doctor . His name is a mouthful but it took a lot of thinking . Tennant : as in David Tennant , aka Tenth doctor from Doctor Who . He was my favorite and I think he 's brilliant . One of my goals this year is to watch everything he 's been in that I can find . Fitzwilliam : as in Darcy . As in Pride & Prejudice . As in yum . North : as in main character from Brightly Woven by Alexandra Bracken . I love North . And it just sounds good at the end . : ) Last night was epic again because I finished Part One of my WIP ! I 've been toying with this story since September and really writing since NaNo . It 's a three part beast . I wrote Part Two first and have been dying to finish Part One . It felt like it would never happen but now it has ! I 'm pumped about it . Only thing that 's left is Part Three and then I can share with my readers and CP and jump into edit mode ! Woo ! ! ! Now , the big announcement : I 'm * almost * at 200 followers ! * throws more confetti * It 's kind of mind - blowing . I thank each and every one of you because you are awesome ! I 'm devising a giveaway of awesome to celebrate ! After I reach 200 , I will let you know all the details once I 've figured them out . I promise I will try to make it amazing ! Hello new lovely visitors to my little corner of the world ! I 'm glad you stopped by . Sit . Have a cupcake and a cup of coffee . Take a r . . . I had the pleasure of doing my first guest post ever ! ! ! * squeal * It was great . Well , not really . It took forever to figure out what to say . . . I 'm off today , which is awesome . You have no idea . And my WIP found itself last week in the midst of a huge hole . After talking through . . . I am writing three books right now . And revising - or soon to be revising - three other books right now . Plus playing editor for all my fan . . . It 's a day for celebrating the people you love . And honestly , friends , I love all of you . If I didn 't , I wouldn 't spend so much . . .
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Taking full advantage of these mild days , I loaded up Blue this morning and headed back out to Branched Oak to work on the mapping for the Trail Challenge & Scavenger Hunt . I think I was abducted by aliens for a week , because I seem to have " lost time . " I swore it was three weeks away and then today I wake up and look at the calendar and BAM ! Just like that , I 'm missing a week ! I have a lot of work to do between now and then . Good thing I am one of those who work best under pressure because the pressure is on ! I have been using the GPS to record all the trails and then download to Garmin Connect to review . The above map is one of my most recent downloads and the trail shown at the top near the water is a major trail that will be used in the competition . Does anyone else see what I see ? Can you imagine the instructions : " Turn left at the base of the penis and continue down the shaft until you reach the … . " Yeah , you get the idea . This is going to be one high - class event , let me tell you ! You know how everyone is always looking for a " good BROKE horse . " And we all know they are not easy to find . Heck , my Windy is a " broke " horse , but not always good . When I don 't ride Windy , I usually load up Butter or Ginger because Case and John will ride more than McCain and I feel I need to keep their horses legged up , too , for their occasional rides . As time passed , I forgot about my " good broke horse " that seems to have unobtrusively moved to the back burner . That would be my Reggie Blue . Blue Boy . Blue . You may or may not remember my blog about Blue a few years ago . Blue was four - years - old when we bought him in December of 2000 . He was probably one of the most well - trained horses we have ever had . I , being a complete novice at the time , didn 't know what he knew and have only discovered some of his buttons in recent years following lessons with Windy , no doubt confusing the poor boy all these years . The first day we rode him at home , ten years ago , I was leaning down fixing my stirrup when John flew by me on Ginger . Blue 's firs8 comments : Friday is my work - at - home day ; first for work & then for the good of the household . Sheila , Kathy , Deb & I tried to do a Friday afternoon ride club this season , but spring rains interrupted our plans quite frequently , then the heat wave . Combine that with our busy schedules and it didn 't happen like we had hoped . I can 't believe that by next spring , Sheila most likely will be on the west coast . . . The horses are quite literally outside my office window . The only way things would get better is if the dogs , who are literally at my feet , would quit farting ! ( What DID they eat yesterday ? ) Since I have kept Windy and Butter up here at the barn to watch Windy 's wound , the other horses have stayed in the adjoining corral rather than go down to pasture even though the gate is open and they most certainly could . Being that they are the herd leaders and Windy and Butter are at the bottom of the pecking order , I didn 't think it would matter to them that those mares weren 't with them . I guess I was wrong . I ended up tossing them a bale of hay in the feeder last night , too . I moved them all out to this side pasture early this morning . It doesn 't have the best fencing , so don 't use it much unless I am here to watch . The grass is long and thick there ; they could graze there for a week , I 'd bet . Speaking of grass , ours needs mowed again . The last time we had to do it with the tractor mower because our garden tractor is eating $ 49 belts . We thought it was a bad belt so we bought another one . Nope . In about 2 . 5 hours that one was shot , too . So before we buy another $ 49 belt , JV needs to take a peek at WHY it is happening and fix that first . So we 'll probably have to mow again with the tractor mower . Don 't you just love acreage - keeping ? I had originally thought Windy 's swollen knee was a result of being kicked . There was what looked like a small scrape above it . But the next day I noticed that wound was draining , so now I think she was poked with a stick or wire or something and actually wonder if a splinter might still be in there ? So 5 comments : It seems whenever I blog less , I am riding more ; which is a good thing ! The past weekend didn 't give us much of a break from the high temperatures , but the humidity wasn 't quite as heavy . On Saturday morning , I took Ginger to Two Rivers and rode safety for a 4H Poker Ride being held there . It wasn 't a big ride ; maybe 20 riders , but felt great to get out . The bugs weren 't bad and it didn 't start heating up until closer to noon . Windy didn 't make the cut that day because she was in time - out . On our Wednesday ride with the Platte River Riders , she was obviously in heat and zeroed in on one particular gelding that night and made my ride rather difficult . Heat cycles have never bothered her much , but that night the hussy was raging ! I didn 't want to take any chances riding safety if her mind was still on her hormones . On Sunday , we officially started prepping the trail for the Trail Challenge and Scavenger Hunt . I met my co - chairs , Sheila and Shari , out at the trail head early that morning and we started riding the trails , planning the obstacles and GPSing for mapping purposes . I took Blue out on this day ; his first trail ride of the year ! Blue is a big boy ; a foundation bred quarter horse resembling the old QH type build . He stands just 15 hands high , but is all of 1 , 300 pounds or more . Whenever I ride him , I feel like I am really riding a horse . He is a rough ride ; no sitting the trot with him and he has a tendency to cross - fire when loping , but except for the trucklike ride , I forget sometimes what a good boy he is . He is the horse who taught me how to ride again as an adult . Riding him is like coming home , perhaps on the dirt road , but home nonetheless . At last count , we have 48 or the 50 rider spots filled for the Trail Challenge and expect the last spots will be filled with entries from today 's mail . Since this is our first time hosting such a ride , I had hoped to get perhaps 25 to 30 riders . The fact that it is filled long before the deadline has thrilled me ! And we have lots of work to do to make 8 comments : Okay , so I 'm sitting here at the table in my horse trailer with my lap top and the A / C running ; drinking a Mike 's Hard Lemonade . Camping , you ask ? No . My horse trailer is sitting back by my barn . I hear echoes of " you might be a redneck if … . " But hey , my horse trailer is a lot nicer than some homes I 've seen and probably cleaner than my own right now . At least that 's my story and I 'm stickin ' to it . Side note : The dogs keep doing " drive - bys " , stopping and hitting the door , a deep bark now and then , but I won 't let them in . Actually , I am thinking and planning ; taking pictures and blogging . Although this trailer is darn near perfect in every way , there is one major flaw . No , there are three flaws . Flaw # 1 is being fixed as soon as the ever - loving ' part gets off the slow train from the east coast … . But there are two others . Flaw # 2 : The person who designed the living quarters had one of the cupboards serve as a tack compartment . Now I don 't know about you , but the idea of having a saddle in my living quarters seems a little too rednecky ! Think of the sweaty saddle pad ! And anyway , that space could be used to correct Flaw # 3 : No refrigerator . Oh come on , non - horsey friends . All of us horse people like frigs in our horse trailer ! So I 'm pondering . . . . I could put a small frig down below the sink like I had in my old horse trailer or upgrade to a bigger refrigerator ( with a freezer ) and put it in what is currently the tack compartment ( which by the way , I don 't think ever held tack . It is way too clean . ) If I do that , then there is the monumental question : Where do I put the tack ? Well , you see , I have plenty of room for storage ; it is just kind of a weird set - up . There is a 3 ' walkway between the living quarters and the chest bar for the horses with doors on both sides . Now granted , the horses ' heads have to go somewhere - and trust me , they will - but underneath their head is the ideal place for the saddles . I think I 've figured out how to make that happen . I have a lot of delusions of grandeur that I am pretty sur9 comments : This past weekend , I invited horse trainer , Colleen Hamer of Blair , NE , out to work with my horses on loading in my new trailer . Although they have never had a problem loading in a slant load or a small two horse trailer , the ramp on this new trailer seemed to be causing a lot of concern . Rather than continuing to fight them , I knew Colleen could help them overcome their anxiety of the ramp and load quietly like I expect them to . Blue was her first student this day and he is an alumni of Colleen 's trailer loading school . Blue has always loaded effortlessly in our 4 - horse slant load , but when I bought a 2 - horse bumper pull a few years ago , he refused to load . I read the books , watched the videos and was sure I could get him to load . By the end of our session , ropes were broken , there was blood and he had literally thrown himself on the ground and wouldn 't move . That 's when I introduced Blue to Colleen and during that first session , she had him loading in 32 minutes . It wasn 't much longer this time . Colleen starts by working the horses in the round pen . She wants their attention on her . She wants to see softness , some flex in their neck , their eye on her , not off wondering what their buddies are up to . Blue was quite stiff when she started working with him , but he soon joined up . After working in the round pen , she walked him to different areas of the yard and asked him to touch his nose on items she pointed to . What she wanted to accomplish was him going as directed . Blue did very well with this exercise . When she approached the trailer , she went through the same process . Pointing him into it , telling him to " load up . " A lot of pressure and release on the rope . When he would step back , she would apply the pressure until he let up . Then she would release the pressure . In our small bumper pull trailer , Blue always has to have two tries before loading . He did something similar here . Would approach , stop , back and then try again . A little closer each time . The ramp didn 't seem to bother Blue as much as the unknown in a n8 comments : That 's Windy . That 's me . Loaded via the ramp into my new trailer . I don 't mean to leave you with a cliff hanger , but it 's been a long day . I 'll have the complete write - up with pictures soon . But I just wanted to tell you that all my horses will now load up the ramp into my new trailer . Yes ! It 's been a good day ! It 's supposedly the last day of this gawd - awful heatwave . The humidity was so bad yesterday that the shoes that I wore to hose off the horses the night before and had left on the porch , were still damp 24 hours later ; even with temperatures close to 100 all day . The horses seem to enjoy their evening showers and it makes me feel good to give them some relief . I was going through photo files the other evening and found some early pictures of the boys and the horses . The first few years were pre - digital . Someday I need to scan them . Gosh , I can 't even imagine having to take in film anymore . I have literally thousands of picture files on my computer ( and back - up drive ! ) I should clean some out , but it 's kind of like cleaning a closet . You find things you forget about and spend time remembering and then as time passes , your forget the task at hand and close it up for another day . I was thinking about doing that when I ran across these pictures . The above picture of McCain and Baby was taken in 2005 when McCain was 11 - years - old and Baby was 5 . She had foaled GinnyBelle early that spring and this was her first outing away from the baby . By the end of the trail ride , her bag had filled up so much that she leaked milk with every step she took . McCain was so small to be on such a big horse , but he loved that he could . Check out her bridle . It 's a driving bridle , complete with blinkers . For the most part , McCain rode Blue . When the boys were little , they spent many hours and miles behind me while I rode Blue , so they trusted him . And he took care of them . That is Blue swimming with the kids in the picture at the top of this post . Both of these pictures were taken in 2006 . In late 2003 , I bought another black gelding called Mikey . He was a bigger horse than Blue and had some rodeo experience . We were told you could rope off him and he 'd done barrel racing and poles . I should have passed on him when we looked at him . He appeared a little off in the front , but he had long toes with shoes that should have been removed months befoLinks to this post My son probably might have observed that I wasn 't wearing my helmet in the picture on the previous post . Once while in Wyoming , I tried to get away with not wearing it and he caught me . On that day , I had a terrible headache and didn 't want anything on my head . With our eyes locked , he unbuckled his helmet as if to say " if you don 't wear it , I 'm not , " so instead I told him to fetch my hard hat . Extreme heat has been another excuse ; the brim of a straw hat keeps more sun off my face . But yes , these are just excuses . I was reminded a few weeks ago at our county parade how quickly accidents happen . Before it started , Windy spooked a mule team . I got her stopped and dismounted quickly to get control from the ground . Before I had my footing , she spun around and slammed into me , knocking me to the white rocked ground , not only under her , but Butter , as well . Those hooves are pretty scary up close and personal . I need to remind myself every time , every ride why I wear a helmet . Today , Janet Caul of Cross C Equine services sent the following note to our Horsetales list serv . It was very powerful and timely . Janet has given permission for me to share her thoughts with you . Janet 's message was titled Heavy Heart Today and it read : Every Time , Every Ride . That is the title to an informative , educational video about helmet wearing in the equestrian world . Unfortunately , not enough people know about this video , nor would they consider wearing a helmet when horseback riding . Whatever your reason for not wearing one , it 's not good enough . " It 's not what real cowboys / cowgirls do . " Really ? You may end up not being either without a helmet . " I 'll get hat hair . " It 's better to have hat hair than no hair from brain surgery . " It 's uncomfortable . " It 's better to be a little uncomfortable for an hour or two , than being paralyzed in an uncomfortable wheel chair the rest of your life . " I love the feel of the wind in my hair , " " I love the feel of the openness . " If you have a head injury you may never feel the openness or wind again . " It doesn 't lo11 comments : A dozen or so years ago , my equine flame was ignited . I started riding horses again and truly found my passion . I started Horsetrailriders . com in 2004 as a way to share information about horse trail riding in our state . But what grew was my love of writing and sharing stories about our trails and my horses . I 've dabbled in photography and enjoy sharing snaps from my horse life . I 've been published in Horse & Rider , The Trail Blazer , Trail Rider Magazine , The Mane Event and Saddle - Up Nebraska . Look beyond the cornfields and head down our back roads for some of the most awesome horse trail riding in our country . Horsetrailriders . com is your guide to finding horse trails and horse trail rides in Nebraska . Explore your favorite trail or visit mine through the words and pictures shared on these pages . Horsetrailriders . com is your source to horse trail riding in Nebraska . Do you know of public horse trails in Nebraska not shown on the list ? Are you hosting a horse trail ride in our state that you would like to have announced ? Or simply have comments about this site . Click on the comments link below the blog & add your information . HORSETRAILRIDERS ON FACEBOOK
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Leave a Comment » One young academically excellent person went for an interview for a managerial position in a big company . He passed the first interview ; BUT in that Company , the director did the last interview , made the last decision . The director discovered from the CV , that the youth 's academic result was excellent all the way , from the secondary school until the postgraduate research , never was there a year he did not score . The director asked , " Did you obtain any scholarship in school ? " and the youth answered " no " . The director asked , " Did your father pay your school fees ? " . The youth answered , " my father passed away when I was one year old and it was my mother who paid my school fees " . The director asked , " Where did your mother work ? " the youth answered , " my mother worked as cloth cleaner . " The director requested the youth to show his hands and the youth showed a pair of hands that was smooth and perfect to the director . The director asked , " Did you ever help your mother wash clothes before ? " The youth answered , " never , my mother always wanted me to study and read more books , furthermore , my mother could wash clothes faster than I could " The director said , I have a request , when you go back today , go and help to clean your mother 's hand , and then see me tomorrow morning . The youth felt that the chance of landing the job was high and when he went back , he happily wanted to clean his mother 's hands . His mother felt strange . With happiness mixed with fear , she showed her hands to the kid . The youth cleaned his mother 's hands slowly and his tears fell as he did that . It was the first time he noticed that his mother 's hands were so wrinkled , and that there were so many bruises in her hands . Some bruises were so painful that she shuddered when his mother 's hands were cleaned with water . This is the first time that the youth realized and experienced that it is this pair of hands that washed the clothes every day to earn him the school fees and that the bruises in the mother 's hand were the price that the mother paid for his graduation and academic excellence and probably his future . After finishing the cleaning of his mother 's hands , the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother . That night , the mother and son talked for a very long time . Next morning , the youth went to the director 's office . The director noticed the tear in the youth 's eye and asked : " Can you tell what you did and learnt yesterday in your house ? " The youth answered , " I cleaned my mother 's hands and also finished washing all the remaining clothes " . The director asked , " Please tell me what you felt The director said , " This is what I am asking , I want to recruit a person that can appreciate the help of others , a person who knows the suffering of others to get things done , and a person that would not put money as his only goal in life to be my manager . You are hired . " Later on , this young person worked very hard , and received the respect of his subordinates , every employee worked diligently and as a team and the company improved tremendously . The Lessons from this anecdote : A child who has been protected and habitually given whatever he needs , develops " entitlement mentality " and always puts himself first . He is ignorant of his parents ' efforts . When he starts work , he assumes every person must listen to him , and when he becomes a manager , he would never know the suffering of his employees and always blame others . These kinds of people , may / will achieve good results and may be successful for a while , but eventually would not feel a sense of achievement or satisfaction . If we happen to be this kind of ( protective ) parent , this is the time to ask the question - whether we did / do love our kids or destroy them . - You can let your kid live in a big house , eat a good meal , learn to play the piano , watch a big screen TV but when you are cutting grass , please let them experience it . - After a meal , let them wash their plate and bowl together with their brothers and sisters . - It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid , but it is because you want to love and show them the correct way . - You want them to understand that no matter how rich their parent are , one day they will grow old , become weak and that their hair too will grow grey . - The most important thing is for your kid to learn how to appreciate , experience and learn the effort and ability needed to work with others to get things done . They should also value , appreciate what the parents have done and love them for who they are ! Conditioning is an integral part of life , discovered the American psychologist Broadus J Watson , after researching the subject at great length . Every human being is born in an environment , so everyone is subject to environmental conditioning . There is no exception whatsoever . So , every one of us is conditioned one way or other . Professor Watson 's finding is perhaps relevant . We do lead conditioned lives . But there is more to the finding than is apparent . It is half of the truth . He elaborated on the law of conditioning , but said nothing about the law of deconditioning . According to his research , everyone is bound to live a conditioned life . It is everyone 's fate and no one can escape from it . It 's an unnatural statement . It is a fact that everyone is subject to conditioning but it is also a fact that every form of conditioning can be reversed . Conditioning is a phenomenon of thinking ; so it can be changed by counter - thinking . Thinking and counter - thinking are both well within the capacity of the mind . The modern computer is a small mechanical model of man 's mind . Everyone knows that a computer can delete anything that you want it to delete . If you feed something into the computer , and then you want to delete it ; this can be done , simply by striking a small key . Man 's mind is an inconceivably large model of the computer . If a small mind can delete an item without failure , it is inconceivable that a bigger model cannot do the same . The deconditioning of mind also has a small touch - button . This touch - button is a simple phrase of just three words : " I was wrong . " Say with complete sincerity : " I was wrong " and you can delete any type of conditioning in a second . Watson himself is proof that environmental conditioning can be reversed in the later period of one 's life . As a matter of fact , Watson first deconditioned himself , consciously or unconsciously , and only then was he able to discover the phenomenon of conditioning . So , if this deconditioning was possible for him , why should it not be possible for others ? Deconditioning is the only way to intellectual development . It is accepted that education is an important tool for personality development . At the same time , one must try to decondition one 's mind ; otherwise one cannot receive the fruits of education . I know a member of a minority community who was obsessed with the concept of discrimination . He said that unless there is reservation for members of minority groups , he would not be able to find a good job in this country . I said : " No , at present you are thinking in terms of discrimination , but please try to understand the matter in terms of excellence . " I reminded him : " There is always room at the top . " If you were an average student , then you might face some kind of discrimination , not only here but elsewhere , too . But if you made the effort to do well , then you would certainly get the job you desired . There is a limit to discrimination and you could cross that limit only with dedication and hard work . The student took my advice and thought again . He increased his efforts and the result was miraculous . He got good marks and eventually achieved what he wanted to ; he got a good job here . Those who look only at external factors invariably underestimate their own capacity . But those who discover themselves become free of this obsession and can meet all challenges . Decondition your conditioning and you will instantly emerge a new person - even better than what you were in the past . It doesn 't interest me what planets are squaring your moon . I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow , if you have been opened by life 's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain . I want to know if you can sit with pain , mine or your own , without moving to hide it or fade it , or fix it . One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight . As a kid , I was always climbing trees , poles , and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house . So , it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30 - foot tree swinging back and forth . My little eight - year - old brain didn 't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt . I just thought it was fun to be up so high . My older cousin , Tammy , was also in the same tree . She was hanging on the first big limb , about ten feet below me . Tammy 's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did . About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree . I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway . I remember my dad 's voice over the wind yell , " Bart , Hold on tightly . " So I did . The next thing I know , I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs , laying flat on the ground . She had fallen out of the tree . I scampered down the tree to safety . My dad later told me why she fell and I did not . Apparently , when Tammy 's mother felt the gust of wind , she yelled out , " Tammy , don 't fall ! " And Tammy did … fall . My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image . In fact , people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all . In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling , her nine - year - old brain had to first imagine falling , then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined . Whereas , my eight - year - old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly . This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal . You can 't visualize not doing something . The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that . For example , when I was thirteen years old , I played for my junior high school football team . I tried so hard to be good , but I just couldn 't get it together at that age . I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass , " Don 't drop it ! " Naturally , I dropped the ball . My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper " self - talk . " They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn 't . I 'll never make it pro , but I 'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player , because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win . I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees . I might have had a longer football career . Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary . Ask them to hold a pen or pencil . Hand it to them . Now , follow my instructions carefully . Say to them , " Okay , try to drop the pencil . " Observe what they do . Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor . You respond , " You weren 't paying attention . I said TRY to drop the pencil . Now please do it again . " Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil . If you tell your brain you will " give it a try , " you are actually telling your brain to fail . I have a " no try " rule in my house and with everyone I interact with . Either people will do it or they won 't . Either they will be at the party or they won 't . I 'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try . Do they think I don 't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort ? You will never hear the words " I 'll try " come out of my mouth unless I 'm teaching this concept in a seminar . If you " try " and do something , your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed . If I truly can 't make a decision I will tell the truth . " Sorry John . I 'm not sure if I will be at your party or not . I 've got an outstanding commitment . If that falls through , I will be here . Otherwise , I will not . Thanks for the invite . " My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement . I have no idea if it is true , but the logic holds true . It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism . Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms . Heck , I know you are talking to yourself all day long . We all have internal voices that give us direction . So , are you giving yourself the 17 : 1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self - talk like , " I 'm fat . Nobody will like me . I 'll try this diet . I 'm not good enough . I 'm so stupid . I 'm broke , etc . etc . " The train is coming , and you are just beside the track interchange . You can make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids . However , that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed . Or would you rather let the train go its way ? Most people might choose to divert the course of the train , and sacrifice only one child . You might think the same way , I guess . Exactly , to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make , morally and emotionally . But , have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place ? Nevertheless , he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was . This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday . In the office , community , in politics and especially in a democratic society , the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority , no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are , and how far - sighted and knowledgeable the minority are . The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined . And in the case he was sacrificed , no one would shed a tear for him . The great critic Leo Velski Julian who told the story said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use , and that they should have run away if they heard the train 's sirens . If the train was diverted , that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track ! Moreover , that track was not in use probably because it was not safe . If the train was diverted to the track , we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake ! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child , you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids . " In the third year , there was still nothing from the bamboo seed . But I would not quit . In the fourth year , again , there was nothing from the bamboo seed . " I would not quit . " He said . " Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth . " I would not quit on the bamboo . I will never quit on you . " Don 't compare yourself to others . . " He said . " The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern … Yet , they both make the forest beautiful . " A happy and meaningful life requires our continuous input and creativity . It does not happen by chance . It happens because of our choices and actions . And each day we are given new opportunities to choose and act and , in doing so , we create our own unique journey . " Keep going … Leave a Comment » What is this principle ? 10 % of life is made up of what happens to you . 90 % of life is decided by how you react . We cannot stop the car from breaking down . The plane will be late arriving , which throws our whole schedule off . A driver may cut us off in traffic . You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over . She breaks down in tears . After scolding her , you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table . A short verbal battle follows . You storm upstairs and change your shirt . Back downstairs , you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school . She misses the bus . Your spouse must leave immediately for work . You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school . Because you are late , you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit . After a 15 - minute delay and throwing $ 60 traffic fine away , you arrive at school . Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye . After arriving at the office 20 minutes late , you find you forgot your briefcase . Your day has started terrible . As it continues , it seems to get worse and worse . You look forward to coming home . Coffee splashes over you . Your daughter is about to cry . You gently say , " Its ok honey , you just need to be more careful next time " . Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs . After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase , you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus . She turns and waves . You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff . Your boss comments on how good the day you are having . Here are some ways to apply the 90 / 10 principle . If someone says something negative about you , don 't be a sponge . Let the attack roll off like water on glass . You don 't have to let the negative comment affect you ! How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic ? Do you lose your temper ? Pound on the steering wheel ? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off ) Do you curse ? Does your blood pressure skyrocket ? Do you try and bump them ? The plane is late ; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day . Why take outpour frustration on the flight attendant ? She has no control over what is going on . Now you know the 90 - 10 principle . Apply it and you will be amazed at the results . You will lose nothing if you try it . The 90 - 10 principle is incredible . Very few know and apply this principle . " A great article by Stephen Covey . From my personal experience , I can say that it takes so much effort to apply this in your daily life but it definitely gets results . Measured responses always saves our relationships , relieves us from any additional stress that we might get due to hasty reactions ! ! ! "
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Golf Balls When I was a kid , I 'd often show up at the Don Valley Golf Course in Toronto . At 6 : 00 am on Saturday mornings . Juniors could tee off starting at 7 : 00 and meanwhile I had a job to do - replenishing my dwindling supply of golf balls from the flow of the Don River . I had so much fun getting so wet . Decades later , Jody and I enjoyed walking by the Oldman River in Lethbridge , Alberta . Lovely trees in the river bottom , a golf course beside and always the flow of water gurgling nearby . I didn 't need to find golf balls but I did it anyway , much to my dear wife 's amusement . And the joy I felt when a white treasure winked up at me from the fallen leaves ! Yesterday , it was pouring buckets but I wanted to walk the fairways and rough of Tarandowah Golfers Club , a spiritual home of mine . I put on rain pants and my trusty winter coat . In the parking lot sat three lonely cars , one belonging to the ever hopeful pro who stood patiently in the clubhouse . He knew about my shtick : " Enjoy your walk , Bruce . " Off I went into the stiff breeze and the barrage of raindrops . I was just so happy ! I sauntered down the middle of the first fairway , all alone in the world . Behind the first green , the grass falls down to a creek . That 's where I needed to go . I searched amid the long leafiness , seemingly without success . Then a small white object appeared , tucked into its nest of grasses . And - no more than a foot away - another ball made my acquaintance . Joy times two ! I have a system , no doubt set in place to massage my ego after a round of 112 at Tarandowah . When I 'm walking , and not playing , I par a hole when I find one ball there . Two balls is a birdie , no balls a bogey . So par for the entire course is having my pockets bulge with 18 of the little darlings . My record has been 22 under par ( 40 balls ) which would equate to a score of 50 in the real game of golf - eight strokes better than anyone has ever accomplished . I 've told a few golfers about my clubless exploits but they all seemed unimpressed . Wow - it was getting wet out there , but happily I was three under par after four holes . Now for the gem : The fifth is a long uphill par four with a farmer 's field bordering it to the right . The soil was gooey , the pondlets were several , the shoes squished at nearly every step . But look what I found ! 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , … 33 golf balls poked their dimples at me . Many a time , I thrust my forefinger into the mud and pried out the prize . Some wiping on my rain pants and into the pocket it went . As you might suspect , my coat has big pockets , and as I finally trudged back to the clubhouse , I looked like a squirrel with its cheeks full of nuts for the winter . But there was nobody around to see my personal vestige of loveliness . Oh well , I knew I was glorious … complete with mud smears , coated hands and wet everything , despite the rain protection . I was just so dirty … so wild … so strange . The grand total ? 43 balls , which represents a new standard for all golfers to aspire to . I expect any moment now that my doorbell will ring and TSN / ESPN / CNN will come calling . New I sat with " Trevor " for a few minutes yesterday . He 's a Grade 6 student at South Dorchester School . I looked at him and wondered if he could create something new in the world . Then I asked him . " I have a challenge for you . Think up some way that people could be happier . " Trevor didn 't look at me like I was crazy . He just looked at me … thoughtfully . Then he said , " I 'll work on it . " And I know he will . What if each of us considered what we could add to this place , rather than merely wanting all our desires to be met ? What if we could focus on the level of consciousness we present to others , rather than just checking off items on our bucket list ? What if we committed to living in accord with our highest values ? It 's possible . Long ago , in my travels as an itinerant vision teacher , I came upon a classroom teacher named Patty . Every morning , she 'd write a " Thought for the Day " on the board . I liked a lot of them , but then one day … That one hit me hard and it 's stayed with me over the years . " Original . " Something new on our planet . Yes . I can do that , and so can each of us . I doubt very much if I 'll ever invent something that makes our lives easier , but would I really want to do that anyway ? " Easier " is nowhere near the top of the mountain . Perhaps my uniqueness can revolve around the present moment , and all the ones to follow . Right now , what can I bring to the table ? Well , this particular Right Now finds me tapping the keys of my laptop in a Tim Hortons coffee shop . I 'm not talking to anyone , other than the fellow I gave my order to . What can advance the world 's happiness as I sit here ? Well … I can simply wish people well . Part of my uniqueness shows up in the meditation hall on retreats . After a few days of settling in , I can feel my heart opening , offering love and peace to those nearby . I don 't think I fill the room … but perhaps someday . " Come on , Bruce , other people do this too . " Of course , but it is a gift I 've been given . My newness may mostly show up in group meditation but my environment is full of more traditional venues - classrooms , diners , libraries , my home , other people 's homes , on the trail , in the public washroom , sitting on a bench . Folks come by . What can I offer ? Quite a bit , I think . You Shine in a Very Lovely Way Another day , another concert for me . Hugh 's Room , an iconic folk music venue in Toronto , has reopened after financial trouble . Saturday night was a gala fundraiser , featuring fourteen excellent musicians . Being in the small hall was like coming home . There were gentle songs and raucous songs , and everything in between . I was happy . Then Laura Smith stepped up to the microphone . I 'd say she 's in her sixties . And here 's what she has to say in " The Blues and I " : The words are lovely but Laura onstage is inexpressible . Her face has the hollows of an older person . The eyes reach out , warm and wet . The mouth holds the words gently . The voice soothes . But the whole is infinitely greater than the sum of the parts . When Laura began , all of me stopped . Only one other time in my life has a person filled the room like this . She was a teacher at the Insight Meditation Society in Massachusetts . And Laura was right there with her . Only twice in my life . Has a human being of such transcendence ever come your way ? I think you 'd remember if they had . In fact , I know you 'd remember . Inside your head , you would have heard … Close I went to a concert at Koerner Hall last night . Two violinists , two cellists and two violists . The ticket said that I was in Row AA . And was I ever ! At the very front , virtually in the middle . About ten feet from the performers . It was astonishing . I saw fingers smash against the strings … and then caress them . I saw glances between musicians , and smiles . I heard the worlds of Brahms and Tchaikovsky in sound surround . It was all so vivid , so immersing . I thought back to the Three Tenors performing in Toronto 's Skydome . Jody and I paid nearly $ 100 per ticket ( unheard of ! ) and took our spots way up high on the far side of the stadium . Mr . big Pavarotti was reduced to Mr . tiny ant . Several times during the performance , I pulled my eyes away from the JumboTron . No way was I going to watch TV at a hundred bucks a throw . I have many hobbies . One is wandering down residential streets , looking at the furniture on the porch . If two chairs sit there , I hope that they 're right next to each other , so the unknown occupants can hold hands . Alas , there 's usually a sturdy patio table in between , or maybe just a swath of blank space . Hands can 't reach that far . Speaking of hands , many couples stroll my way , and so very few of them are holding each other . Oh , there might be a brush against the other 's thigh every so often , but no real contact . The exceptions include young and old who swing their arms together gaily , or reach the other hand over to hold the back of their lover 's , or just gently press the soul into the flesh . I like that . On the subway , some folks will stand rather than take the empty seat beside me . Others will sit down , and our bodies are in contact for the rest of the ride . I 'll take option two . Life erupts all around us , sometimes with joy , and sometimes sorrow . Or it flows like honey . May I always face the action , and move towards it , where the sweetness ( or bittersweetness ) lies . Wandering Up and Down I walked twelve kilometres yesterday , through the parkland by Toronto 's Humber River . All was green . I meandered past tennis courts and fire circles , wooded slopes and wide lawns , with benches a - plenty for sittin ' . And I went slow . All sorts of folks came my way . Unless they looked supremely grumpy , I said hi . Only three people gave me a sincere hello back . I wonder if I look dangerous . Or maybe it 's just the big city mentality , perhaps " Someone who says hello wants something . " Oh well . I wasn 't going to let the prevailing responses besmirch my day . Near the end of the journey , I parked my bod in the lounge of the Old Mill Inn . Lots of nice stonework and comfy chairs . I found myself facing the portrait of a severe young man . I asked myself whether he ever smiled in his earlier life . I sure hope so . I sipped my glass of white wine and read sports articles on my phone . Sort of a mixed metaphor but I don 't mind . Off again , this time to the mysteries of Bloor Street . The sidewalks were full of all and sundry , enjoying the spring sunshine . But I was fading . Was it the wine , or the long walk , or my continued movement away from sleeping pills ? My head beat out a nasty rhythm and my legs were declining towards the asphalt . " It 's okay , Bruce . You 're off these pills and there 's no going back . " My walking plans fell apart and I stumbled towards a subway station . Fifteen minutes later I was slurping coffee in a Tim Horton 's , watching outside folks scatter under a sudden thunderstorm . I was happy to be dry and sad to be vacant . Coffee completed , I continued to stare out at smashing raindrops . How would I stay awake at the concert ? So … another twelve ounces of Dark Roast . Koerner Hall was only a three - minute walk from Tim 's and the rain had faded when I poked my pounding head out the door . Inside the gorgeous concert hall , I awaited the presence of Rosanne Cash . Slowly my brain cleared and I was ready for tunes . I left The Royal Conservatory of Music with " 500 Miles " on my lips and a skip in my step . All deficits were in the rear view mirror . Until , that is , I got to my home bed - and - breakfast . Head banging again and a troubled caffeine - laden sleep . It 's been a grind getting off sleeping pills . My weaning is now into Week Seven and I 'm proud to announce that I haven 't had any for the past seven nights . But , oh , the fuzziness ! One night recently , I must have woken up ten times … but magically tottered back to sleep soon after each one . Overall , a lot of recent dullness in my life . So yesterday morning I raised myself up and floated through the morning in a light stupor . I also think I was suffering from food poisoning . But I was scheduled to volunteer at South Dorchester School in the afternoon and I love those kids . Mid - morning , I was leaning towards the comfort of my bed but later roused my cells enough to get in the car and head to school . I arrived at lunch recess and walked towards the Grade 6 portable . Tiffany , the teacher , was nowhere to be seen so I plunked myself down in her rocking chair and sat in the darkness . Almost immediately came the message from within : " Go home . Rest . The kids will do fine without you . " Which is , of course , true . Kids can have fun wherever they are . I could feel my hands pressing down on the arms of the chair , preparing for an exit . But the rest of my being wanted to stay . " But what good will you do ? Maybe you 're not dizzy but you 're somewhere in the ballpark . " 2 . Several times , I accompanied various kids to the art supply room , where they found colourful construction paper and plasticene for their projects . Many thanks came my way . 3 . While I was waiting for one group of kids to find their stuff , a teacher came up to me and asked " How are you ? " I thought for a millisecond and replied with the truth : " I 'm happy . " One young lady chimed in with " Mr . Kerr , you 're always happy . " I smiled . 5 . One girl , after some running frustrations in PE , declared " I am nothing . " I let her know , forcefully , that she was something , and a very special something indeed . 6 . Four boys were hunched down inside a playground hut , practicing their recorder pieces during an outdoor Music class . I applauded at the end , and one fellow reached his ball cap towards me , for a tip no doubt . I reached into my wallet and found four coins - two dimes and two nickels . Into the hats the money went . Their first professional performance ! 7 . I watched the kids pass the baton during relay practice . I did very well as a corner post , managing to stay vertical the whole time . What a thrill it was to have sprinting 12 - year - olds blowing by me at full speed . 9 . I read to the kids from a diary written by an aboriginal residential school student . Such hard words to read , and for the kids to hear . Children identified only as numbers . Having to say white man 's prayers while any expression of their own religion was punished . Not being able to talk at meals . 10 . During the end - of - the - day " Shout Outs " , I applauded a girl who was on yesterday 's victorious basketball team , but couldn 't play because of a concussion . She was a great cheerleader , and dealt with the feelings of loss that no doubt came up . But that joy pales in comparison to yesterday afternoon . I was watching the Grade 6 girls from South Dorchester School play in the finals of a basketball tournament . The score was 9 - 8 with about two minutes left . " Monica " was well outside the foul line when she launched a ball skyward . A sweet touch on the backboard and then nothing but net . Ecstasy coursed through my arteries and veins . I stood and cheered . After a few close calls at the other end , the whistle blew and there was a mass of hugging 12 - year - olds . The difference was love . I know those youngsters as human beings and I care deeply about them . Oh , I say I love the Leafs but we all know that 's a junior version of a very fine thing to feel . The image staying with me is all the jump balls that were called . Two girls would have their hands on the basketball and wouldn 't let go . Sometimes they 'd be rolling around on the floor , still hanging on . Go South Dorchester ! You girls are fierce . I loved seeing your energy - pushing the ball up the floor , falling down and getting up , missing a shot and keeping your head high . Wow . Energies Well , here I am , experimenting with energies . I used to think that I wanted to hang out in the peaceful energy of meditation till the cows come home , but I 'm no longer in that spot . I want to see what edgy feels like , what intense doing feels like , what big crowds feel like , what bantering back and forth with another human being feels like . So then there was yesterday . I got up early and drove to Toronto . After taking the UP Express train downtown , I meandered over to the ferry terminal . I spent a minute or two holding the arm of Jack Layton ( or that of a statue honouring him ) . I thanked Jack for all he contributed to Toronto and Canada . It was the quiet energy of relationship . It was clean - up day on the shoreline and many island residents were picking up garbage , hoisting branches that had washed ashore , and sorting recyclables from not . They often moved quickly from one task to the next . I told several of them " The earth thanks you . " Everyone smiled in response . Overall , it was the exuberant energy of doing good . I walked the tiny streets of Ward 's , surrounded by quaint cottages . Green was everywhere . Plants poking their heads above the earth . Wide stretches of grass . And yellow … masses of daffodils and large forsythia bushes . Vines hung from many homes . Only a few residents were up and about and I said hi when they were close . It was the slow rhythmic energy of nature . Next I put feet to wood on the shoreline boardwalk . I waved to the few cyclists and walkers out for a stroll . Often V 's of black birds soared over my head . Squirrels did their digging and bouncing along things . It was the pulsating energy of life . I had some good moments with the people I was sitting with . Smiles about life . When the talk turned toward local news that I knew nothing about , I just listened . It was a happy and sad energy … happy to be with human beings and sad that I wasn 't part of their group . And now for music . I listened to a jazz quartet - vocalist , saxophone player , pianist and upright bassist . The tunes ebbed and flowed as they read off each other and gave each person the chance to shine in a solo . Making it up as they went ? Sometimes it felt like that . It was a spontaneous and creative energy , tender and then boisterous , and then back to sweet again . The dessert of my day was back on the mainland . I stood with a thousand other folks in Maple Leaf Square , where we gazed up at a huge screen and waved white towels . Inside the Air Canada Centre , the Toronto Maple Leafs were battling the Washington Capitals in a National Hockey League playoff game . We cheered wildly for the big hits delivered by the Leafs , for the saves made by Frederik Andersen ( " Freddie ! Freddie ! " ) and for the one Toronto goal . We agonized as the Capitals came back to tie and then ended our season with an overtime marker . It was the energy of winning and losing , of gain and loss , of them versus us . Today was the morning that I was going to change the flat tire on my bike . I cleared some space in the garage and started getting nervous . " You can Google it , Bruce . " Except I didn 't want to . I had vague memories about how to do the deed . Years ago , I 'd even done it successfully , but maybe not on the more difficult rear wheel . I turned ta - pocketa upside down . Check . I moved the gear shifter so that the chain was on the smallest sprocket . ( See ! I can remember things . ) I squeezed the gear shift lever and pressed the little button , moving the brake pads away from the rear wheel . I put on gloves , to cope with the chain grease . Oh , what a good boy am I ! And then … I loosened the bolt ( ? ) that holds the wheel on the bike . I grabbed the chain and yanked this way and that , lifting the little gears to various elevations . ( That 's what I 'm supposed to do , isn 't it ? ) Nothing . Just a bunch of black goop on orange gloves . I stared at the contraption … and couldn 't remember what to do . I 'd done well so far but my mind created a dead end . " See what a bad cyclist you are ? Good luck on crossing the country . You can 't even get out of your driveway . " ( Good grief . Will someone please tell that voice to shut up ? ) Trusting that no neighbours were training binoculars on me , I jerked the wheel some more . The chain teeth became a series of devilish smiles , and the goop continueth . And then finally , the darn thing came apart . What exactly did I do to create that result ? I don 't know but at least now I had the wheel on my lap . Okay … grab the tire levers so you can pry the tire away from the rim , exposing the damaged inner tube , which you can then skillfully pluck out of its prison . I pried . The lever flew through the air , with the tire still firmly in place . I repried and the lever reflew . I gouged . I grunted . And approximately ten minutes later the tire lever was zipping off the tire like a knife through butter . Was I approaching the world 's slow record for changing a flat ? No , there had to be other all - thumbsers on the roads of the world . So the offending inner tube now lay on the grass . From a place deeply dark in my biking soul , I remembered that good cyclists pump a little air into the new tube , to make it easier to push under the tire and against the rim . Open little nozzle on the inner tube valve . Pick the right hole on my bicycle pump for said nozzle . Pump . I said " Pump ! " Nothing . No air entereth the tube . Remove pump head from tube . Try again … and again … and once more . Pick up old and useless inner tube . Pump . Air enters . So what am I doing wrong ? ! I have no idea . Back to the new tube . Pump . Nyet . Head down between my legs . Buddhist insights about how all of this isn 't important ? Nowhere to be seen . I get the new inner tube pushed under the tire and use a lever to reseat the tire on the rim , being careful not to pinch the inner tube . Gosh , what a pro ! And it worked . Soon I was pumping happily until the tire reached 110 psi . Then it was at least twenty minutes of greasy fiddling to get the wheel reattached to the bike . ( Please , no cyclists are allowed to read this part . ) And then … Ta da ! My bike was ready to fly . I danced inside to put on my quirky blue jersey , heart rate monitor , sexy spandex shorts , groovy red socks , headband , helmet , yellow cycling gloves and shoes with metal pieces on the bottom ( for attaching to the pedals ) . Glowing with success , I returned to the garage , looking like the epitome of Joe Fitness , not to mention Joe Mechanic . I squeezed the front tire lovingly … hard as a rock . Then the back … … flat ! I stared once again . In the end , I had done it . The tire remained hard . I flew slowly over the landscape and returned to my home 75 minutes later breathing hard . Just like my tire still was . Perhaps I am a good boy after all . Here and There How strange that I haven 't felt like writing for a week . Or maybe not strange at all . Either way , here I am . Lots of stuff has happened and I 've vaguely said , " I should write about this tonight . " And then tonight fades away in the rear view mirror . After that , the topic seems stale . I like writing fresh . So what to do ? I think I 'll give you some snippets from the past seven days and then see what beckons me tomorrow . Can I create " fresh " by doing this ? We 'll see . I went to a brunch at the Belmont Diner today . Near me at the lunch counter was a mom and her young daughter - maybe 5 . I enjoyed watching her colour and throw her hands at mom , all with a vibrant smile . After we had eaten , " Brittany " sidles over to the chair beside me and eventually says , " You came into my classroom . " And I guess I did , on a day a few weeks ago when I read Stanley At School to a whole bunch of classes . My new friend bubbled away about the two plastic Easter eggs she had in front of her . She shook the small one near my ear . No sound . " No surprises . " Then the big one . Something was rattling inside . " Surprises ! " Opening it up , Brittany pointed out the chocolate yummies and the " hay " - little turquoise strings of plastic . My job was to get the strings back inside so she could close the eggish lid . I did okay , and together we got the job done , with just a few strands sticking out . " Look ! The egg has a beard . " So very cool . Then Brittany launched into her counting skills . After a bit , we were doing it in unison ( 70 , 71 , 72 … ) with each of us watching the other person 's mouth form the words . How wonderful that a short young person can create such joy in a taller , older one . Thursday evening was momentous . For the first time in at least ten years , I didn 't go to bed with a sleeping pill in my mouth . With the help of my pharmacist , I 've been weaning myself off the nasty little things . Thursday was the beginning of a new two - week pattern - " Nothing , half , nothing , half … " And I was scared . What if I got no sleep at all ? How would I survive that ? Well of course I would , but I didn 't have to . I awoke amazed after seven hours of shuteye . How could that be ? Chemicals going into my body for maybe 4000 nights and then sleeping well without them . Thank you , o powers of freedom . Last night was the second " nothing " experience . Surely it would be a piece of cake . Surely the first night would be the worst . But not so . I struggled to get four hours . After Thursday , I told myself to forget the schedule , that I was already free , with never a Trazodone to enter my body again . But a wiser voice let me know that I needed to stick with the program , to be nice to my mysterious physical existence . I 'm glad I listened . After school on Wednesday , I drove to New Sarum to see the Grade 6 girls play basketball . I volunteer in their class . I took a seat on the stage of the gym and waited for my friends to arrive . And here they came . Some of them saw me , smiled and came right over to sit in front of and beside me . And there we chatted as two other teams took the floor for the first game . It was special for me to sense that I was important to many of those young people . Makes me wish I had kids . I would have been a good dad . The next day , at recess , some of the girls and boys wanted me to see the fort they 'd built at the far corner of the schoolyard . I was ushered into an airy wooden structure and offered a seat on their padded bench . All seemed pleased that my weight didn 't collapse the thing . I got to sit there and smile about the private space they 'd created for themselves . It was a privilege to be a guest . On Good Friday , I went for a bike ride . Sunny and warm . Eight kilometres in , as I approached Harrietsville , I got a flat tire . Boo . I had to be back at 1 : 00 pm to go with my good neighbours Sharon and John to a gospel music concert in Kitchener . As I stared at ta - pocketa 's plight , I realized that I 'd forgotten how to change a tire , especially the more difficult back one . " But Bruce , here you are preparing to cross Canada on your bike next year and you can 't even change a tire ? " Yep . That 's true . So humbling . I started walking my bike and saw from the cycling computer that I was going 5 kph . A quick calculation revealed that at this pace I 'd return to my doorstep at 1 : 05 or so . Good enough . So on I went . My trip home was sprinkled with sadness . Probably 80 vehicles passed me . Many no doubt thought it strange that here was a man walking his bicycle . Did they wonder if I had a flat , or whether I was injured ? The net result was that no one stopped to see if I was okay , and maybe to offer me a lift home . At least 15 pickup trucks came by . Plus several vans , although I don 't know if they had room for ta - pocketa and me . I felt sad that this particular slice of society didn 't respond to someone in need . Oh , I wasn 't hurt , and with enough walking I would make it home just fine , but still … Happily , I arrived home in time for my neighbours and me to join other folks on a bus leading to the Collingsworth family - mom , dad and four young adults ( a son and three daughters ) . Could they sing ! And the thousand of us in the audience were moving and grooving ( some on the outside , some within ) . The star of the show was mom Kim . She sat at the black grand piano and blasted us with her virtuoso playing . If only you could have heard " How Great Thou Art " . During the fast parts , she was bouncing on the piano bench , head back in ecstasy as she belted out the words while her fingers flew . And the best was watching her daughters nearby as Kim played . Here was a mom expressing herself with every fibre of her being , and the girls were loving her for it . They smiled , they nodded , they stared at their mother . And all was well .
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Summary : Squire 's Isle , 1964 . Shannon Linn is the last keeper of the Squire 's Lighthouse . It 's a lonely life , and her only contact with the outside world is Dylan Swan , the delivery girl from the local supermarket . When Dylan is stranded at the lighthouse during a rainstorm , very few things seem impossible . Thirty - eight feet over her peaked red roof , the yellow light washed across her front lawn before heading back out toward the sea . Shannon Linn sat on the porch of the white cottage the Coast Guard provided for her , one leg crossed over the other as she listened to the sounds of the night waves . There were Orcas somewhere out there ; she could hear them cresting . Only a few boats crisscrossing the straight between the shores of Squire 's Isle on one side and Canada on the other . Shannon wore jeans that had been smoothed to silky softness from years of sitting on this bench and another bench just like it high above her head . Her red work shirt was unbuttoned over a thermal undershirt . Her red hair was cropped short , low maintenance , and the wind lifted the bangs off her forehead as she tried to pinpoint just how many whales she could hear . She had spent the day in the lantern gallery cleaning the lens and storm panes . She was just a little drunk , thanks to the bottle of Budweiser on the porch next to her rocker , and she could feel sleep beckoning to her . She checked the watch on the inside of her wrist , finished her bottle and pushed out of her chair . A ship 's horn blew somewhere out in the strait and she waved a hand to the invisible captain . " Good - night , " she said . " Whoever you are . " Tilting her head up to the light , she watched as it made another pass across the waves . " Good - night to you , too . " She patted the wall next to the door as she went back inside and shut the door . In 1959 , Clark Humphries had a heart attack while ascending the stairs to the Watch Room . His family had found him stretched out across the stairs , one hand to his chest and one hand reaching out past his head . Local legend claimed he had died reaching to make sure the light was still running . At the time of his death , Shannon had just left her job as a deckhand on a fish tender in Alaska . Eight years of killing herself every morning during spawning season was enough . Her experiences had put her off boats for a while , but not the water . She still loved the water , loved the sea , and so had moved back to the island of her birth . She intended to only stay as long as it took her to get her head straight . She had applied for the lighthouse keeper position on a whim and was shocked when she was accepted . So she 'd packed her bags , driven out of the populated part of the island , and parked her dirty old truck at the terminus of an old dirt road . She carried her sparse belongings through the woods to the light station . Her home was a small , three - bedroom cottage at the very edge of a rocky cliff . The lighthouse tower rose from the back of the house . Sharing part of her floor plan with the tower meant that her kitchen had a huge , half - circle bulge in it , but it also meant that she never had to go outside in inclement weather to tend to the light . Her bedroom was a cot against one wall , her kitchen on the opposite end . The bulge of the tower effectively separated the two spaces . Her couch and coffee table faced the front door . In the five years she 'd been tending the lighthouse , she 'd rarely left her post . She arranged for grocery deliveries every Saturday , trips to the bank and the laundromat once a month … she darned her own socks , mended torn shirts and pants and cut her own hair . Her shoes lasted her five or six years a pop . She couldn 't fathom any reason to leave her lighthouse . It wasn 't her cramped living space ; it was the view . During the day , with the light off and the sun shining down on the world , she would find reasons to stay in the lantern room . She would trim wicks , wind clockwork , check fuel levels , wash windows … anything to keep herself in that glass enclosure , near that awe - inspiring view . She sat on the edge of her cot and unlaced her shoes . She dropped them on the floor next to her stack of books - a box was delivered the first Thursday of every month - and undressed down to her thermal underwear . The night was edging towards winter - cold for the first time this season . She wrapped the blankets around her shoulders , settled down against the cot and extinguished her lantern . Dylan Swan balanced the box against her hip as she slammed the trunk . The delivery was out of her way , and added about an hour to the end of her Saturdays , but it was worth it . The lighthouse lady paid an extra ten bucks for these deliveries , and an extra ten bucks fit just nicely into Dylan 's wallet . Especially on a short week like this . She 'd gotten sick last weekend and missed Monday and Tuesday . Ergo , her paycheck would barely cover her own expenses , let alone Mama 's nursing home . She sighed and adjusted the weight of the box . It shouldn 't have been so heavy ; cereal , canned soups , flour , a bag of potatoes … still , she supposed it all added up . She followed the familiar path through the trees until the lighthouse came into view . She put the box down on the wooden porch and rapped her knuckles on the door frame . " Hi , Dylan . " Shannon crouched and picked up the heavy box without strain . She carried it inside , placed it on the kitchen table and returned to the door . " How much ? " Shannon pulled out her wallet , thumbed through some bills and said , " I only have twenties . Here … " She handed over two bills and said , " Consider that your tip . " Dylan grinned . " Thank you . It 's much appreciated . " She gestured towards the roof and said , " My cousin is in town , in case you need anyone to take a look at your gutters . Any leaks or … " " Everything is in good shape , " Shannon said . " Anything ever did go wrong , I 'd probably fix it myself rather than wait on someone else , though . " She smiled and added , " Thanks for thinking of me , though . Drive safely on your way back to civilization . " She watched the light fade from the day from her perch in the main gallery . Her leg crossed over her knee , her fingers laced behind her head , she thought about Dylan Swan . The age difference wasn 't that great . Shannon was in her mid - forties , but Dylan was probably … thirty - something . Okay , granted , she was probably in her low thirties . Thirty - one , thirty - two … twenty - nine . Still , didn 't hurt to fantasize occasionally . And it was hard not to think about her . Not just because she was really the only person Shannon had any contact with . Dylan was beautiful ; chocolate - brown skin , eyes that were almost black , full lips . She usually wore her mahogany hair in a ponytail , but lately she 'd been keeping it down around her shoulders . Shannon shifted in her chair and shifted her view from the window to the ceiling . She balanced her boots on the stairway railing , crossed them at the ankles , and wondered what Dylan would do if she got up the courage to come on to her . They were out in the middle of nowhere . Would Dylan run screaming for the nearest sign of civilization ? Or just politely back away and start requesting someone else deliver to the ' creepy old lighthouse lady . ' Dylan cursed as a rabbit exploded from the foliage . She braked just in time and the small rabbit lifted his head , looked at her with the smallest amount of curiosity , and continued on its way as if nothing had happened . " Shit , " Dylan said . She pushed her hair out of her face , glanced toward the trunk as if she could see if the groceries had spilled in the trunk , and continued down the trail . The trees overhead swayed back and forth in a manic dance , the lower limbs scratching across the top of her car . " Don 't ruin my damn paint job , " she muttered . " Don 't ruin my damn paint job … " She pulled up to the small , wooden sign with " Deliveries for Shannon Linn " carved in white letters . She parked and fought with her windbreaker as she stepped out into the steely - cold darts of rain . She whipped the hood up over her head , tightened the strings so that her face would be at least partially protected , and went around to the trunk . She 'd had the foresight to cover the grocery box with a plastic garbage bag so the cereal boxes wouldn 't get soggy . She struggled with the box as she hurried down the path . Hopefully Shannon would have the money ready . Hopefully she would be in the cottage ! Shit ! She hadn 't even thought about what she would do if Shannon was up in the lighthouse tower . The lighthouse beam was circling , due to the decreased visibility and premature night caused by the storm moving in . Dylan ran to the porch and dropped the box under the overhang , pounding on the door with the heel of her hand . " God , please be here , please be … " The door swung open and a quizzical Shannon peered out . Her confusion turned to surprise , then to irritation as she realized who it was . " What the hell are you doing out in this shit ? Come on ! " She grabbed the bend of Dylan 's elbow and yanked her into the house , then crouched and lifted the groceries . She kicked the door shut with her boot and carried the groceries to the kitchen . Dylan pushed her hood back and tried not to drip too much . Shannon returned without the groceries , a towel clutched in her hands . She handed it to Dylan , who muttered a quiet , " thank you " as she started to dab at her face . " God . " " I know , " Dylan said . She hung her head and felt like a little kid being berated by her mother . She ran the towel over her face one more time , squeezed some of the moisture from her ponytail and handed it back . " I should go before it gets too much worse . " Shannon shook her head . " Oh , hell no . You 're not - " She was cut off by a crack of thunder that only served to punctuate her point . " No . You 're staying here until this at least blows over . " Dylan draped her coat over a shoe rack and rubbed her arms against the cold of the day . She turned to the bedroom as Shannon returned . She held up the brown sweater and said , " Sorry if it 's not in fashion . " " If it 's warm , it 's in fashion , " Dylan said . She took the sweater gratefully and pulled it over her head . She worked her arms into the sleeves and tugged it down . The sweater was just barely too big for her , but that left room for her to tuck her hands into the sleeves and warm her fingers . " Thank you . " " That was last week , " Shannon said , handing over two more twenties . " It 's the only expense I really have . I appreciate you looking out for me . Really . " Dylan took the money and smiled . " Thanks . " She folded the bills and slipped them into the pocket of her jeans . " I 'm just glad you don 't request someone else handle your deliveries . " Shannon frowned and moved towards the couch . " Why the hell would I want to do that ? You know the roads , you know my grocery list well enough to know if something 's missing … " " You got brown eyes , too . Hazel , really . " She gestured for Dylan to sit on the other side of the couch . " What does that have to do with deliveries ? " " Lot of folks in town don 't like the idea of me messing with their groceries . Think I contaminate the food or something . " She sat down and folded her right leg under her left . " That I did . " She looked at Dylan a moment longer than necessary . When the Dylan 's eyes - definitely hazel , with flecks of green - flicked up and caught her , Shannon looked nervously away and adjusted the slip of cloth that kept the arms of her couch from getting scuffed . She cleared her throat and said , " So , our little town is racist ? " Dylan laughed . " No ! Well … " She shrugged one shoulder and gathered the hem of her borrowed sweater in her lap . It 's not racist with … you know , burning crosses on my lawn or things like that . Just small things like people getting in a longer line to be checked out by the white clerk instead of me . And it 's not everyone ! There are a lot of people in town who don 't notice color . " " I won 't presume to know what that feels like , " Shannon said . " But maybe you can imagine what it would be like to be the ' lighthouse lady . ' I go into town once , maybe twice a month . I run my errands , go to the bank and the laundromat , I maybe see a movie . People treat me like I 'm some crazy hermit who lives out in the country with my dozen cats . " Dylan smiled , but bowed her head to hide the blush in her cheeks . She 'd thought of Shannon as the lighthouse lady on more than one occasion . " I 'm sorry , " she said . " Not your fault , " Shannon said . She was turned toward the window , watching the rain streak down the glass . " Like it 's not my fault people are idiots when it comes to skin color . " She looked down at her hands and said , " God , I 'm a terrible hostess . Would you like something to drink ? I have soda , mi - Well , look who I 'm telling . " " Coming right up . " She stood and went into the kitchen . Dylan stood as well and went to the window , leaning down to peer up at the sky . Thick storm clouds gathered at the shore , as if determining which part of the island to strike . The sea was choppy and agitated , slapping the rocks all around Shannon 's house like the wings of angry birds . Through it all , she saw the reassuring beam of the lighthouse swinging across the underbelly of the storm with reassuring regularity . " Here you go , " Shannon said from her shoulder . Shannon smiled and said , " This ? Please . Come here . " She turned and walked to the stairwell door . She turned the knob and turned to face Dylan . " Well ? You coming or not ? " Dylan followed and reluctantly stepped into the circular tower . " You 're sure I won 't get in trouble for being here ? I 'm not … authorized or anything . " Dylan followed her up the stairs . Windows in the stone wall let the lightning flash into the dark stairwell and reminded Dylan of all the late - night monster movies she 'd watched . She felt like she was following a mad scientist to a macabre laboratory where some freak of nature awaited being brought to life by a fortunate bolt of lightning . All the doctor needed was a brain … fresh was best … and as luck would have it , no one would miss the sweet little grocery delivery girl until … " Yeah , " Dylan said with a chuckle . She climbed the rest of the way up . The landing was , in actuality , a small room . The majority of the space was taken up by the clockworks needed to rotate the light above their heads . Metal canisters of fuel and boxes of spare parts , lined the walls . There was a ratty armchair covered with a blanket and a small stool near the stairs . There was a door set against the far wall and she frowned at it . " Where does that go ? " " This is just the main gallery though , " she said . She gestured to the other set of stairs and Dylan followed her the rest of the way up . " Stay low . Half crouch . The light is at eye level when you 're standing straight up , so it could blind you if you look at it . " Shannon grinned and continued the rest of the way up . Dylan followed and immediately dropped into a half - crouch as she rose through the floor of the lantern room . Shannon knelt on the floor and stretched out on her stomach so that her head was near the glass . Dylan decided that had to be more comfortable than crouching and stretched out next to her . The light swept past them , making the windows glow before shooting out to sea with the intensity of a laser beam . The sky was a solid sheet of gray , the ocean a choppy , slate - blue carpet below them . The rain made a thick curtain so that , looking out the windows of the lantern room , it looked as if the entire world were made up of angry water . Dylan rested her chin on her hands and looked over at Shannon . Her short red hair was just starting to gray at the temples , but her face was smooth and unlined . Her green eyes were bright and blue , her strong arms crossed under her chin as Dylan 's were . Dylan said , " Thank you for sharing this with me . " " Don 't be . I was just … surprised … is all … " She brought her hand up and brushed her fingers over Dylan 's palm . They laced their fingers together and Dylan looked down , squeezed her hand and licked her bottom lip . She scooted closer , her hip pressing against Shannon 's . She leaned in and lightly kissed Shannon 's cheek , the tip of her nose . She kept her eyes open and watched for permission in Shannon 's eyes . " Me ? " Shannon asked quietly . Her breath was hot against Dylan 's throat . " Am I sure ? " She brought her other hand up and cupped the back of Dylan 's head . Their lips met hesitantly and Shannon finally closed her eyes . She leaned into the kiss and Dylan put her hand in the small of Shannon 's back . " Yes , but … " Shannon swallowed and released Dylan 's hand . She pushed herself up onto her knees and said , “… only because of the location . Come on . " They went back to the access door at a crouch , like two escaped prisoners trying to avoid the guards ' spotlight . They hurried down the stairs , Shannon 's palm gliding over the handrail like a seabird over the waves . When she reached the living space , she waited on the lower landing for Dylan to catch up . They collided in the doorway . Dylan 's arms went around Shannon 's waist as their lips met in a second , hungrier kiss . Shannon grabbed the thick material of Dylan 's borrowed sweater and jerked it up , forcing them both to step back and take a breath as it passed over Dylan 's head . She undid the buttons of Dylan 's blouse and pushed it off her shoulders , letting it fall to the floor as she stared at the thin , white undershirt turned transparent by the rain . Dylan undid her ponytail and let her hair fall down around her face . She undid the buttons of Shannon 's shirt and then wrapped her fists in the material , pulling her close for another kiss . Dylan moaned into Shannon 's mouth and shuffled her towards the bed . Shannon broke the kiss and muttered , " Nhh , uh … " She gestured with her head . " Couch . " Dylan changed course and they moved slowly toward the couch . She paused to kick off her shoes , then released Shannon 's shirt and dropped back onto the cushions . Shannon shrugged out of her shirt , tossed it aside and straddled Dylan 's hips . As they kissed , Dylan shoved her hands under Shannon 's undershirt and moaned when she touched the bare flesh of her back . No bra strap ; nothing between Shannon and the shirt . " Well , I hope so … " Dylan gasped . She pushed her hands up and brought Shannon 's shirt with them . Shannon rose up and tugged the shirt off . She tossed it across the room and looked back down at Dylan . Dylan ran her hand down the middle of Shannon 's chest , then moved to the side to cup one bare breast . " Yeah , " she exhaled . Shannon brushed Dylan 's hair out of her face and settled on top of her . They kissed , Dylan 's hand opening and closing on her breast in a gentle , steady rhythm . Shannon 's nipple grew hard against her palm , her kisses growing hungrier as she arched her back into Dylan 's caresses . She slid her hand down to Dylan 's hip and undid the catch of her jeans . They squirmed on the couch , rearranging themselves as Shannon pushed the jeans down . She released herself from Dylan 's grip and kissed down her body , kissing through her bra and T - shirt , her stomach , until she reached her pale yellow panties . Dylan 's ankles were trapped by the denim until Shannon slipped off the couch and yanked them the rest of the way off . As Shannon settled between her thighs , Dylan sat up and peeled her shirt off . She unhooked her bra and skimmed it down her arms as Shannon kissed her thighs . She planted her feet apart and slid down on the couch , breathing hard as Shannon pushed her panties to one side . She watched the pink tip of Shannon 's tongue circle her lips and gasped as Shannon lightly touched her folds . Dylan arched her back , her heels rising from the floor as she threw her head back . Shannon closed around her like an open - mouth kiss , her tongue sliding back and forth across her pussy . She leaned back , sucked her thumb for a moment , then bowed down once more . She pressed forward with the tip of her tongue while she circled Dylan 's clit with her wet thumb . Dylan 's knees trembled , and her eyes rolled back in her head . She bit her bottom lip and lifted her ass off the couch cushions to meet Shannon 's mouth . A moment , or maybe an hour later , Dylan trembled one more time . She ran her hand over her face , brushed her hair away from her eyes and sank into the couch . If the cushions hadn 't been there to stop her , she was sure she would have kept going … through the floor , through the soggy ground , all the way through the planet to China . She couldn 't move , but the few synapses still firing told her that Shannon was kissing her way up her body . Small , closed - mouth kisses , big , sloppy , wet kisses with tongue , she kept moving until she latched onto one nipple and sucked it into her mouth . Dylan groaned and brought her knees up , bracing against Shannon 's hips . Shannon leaned in and kissed her hard . Dylan gripped Shannon 's short hair and pulled her head back . She attacked Shannon 's neck , licking until she found the pulse point and then closing her mouth around it . Dylan leaned forward and kissed Shannon 's belly . She worked the button with shaking hands , tugged down the zipper and then pushed the denim down . She stopped when they were to her thighs , reached up to hook her fingers in Shannon 's panties , and then tugged the whole works down to Shannon 's knees . She pulled Shannon forward and bent to kiss her untrimmed pubic hair . Shannon closed her eyes and put her hands on top of Dylan 's head . She rolled her shoulders , tilted her head back and tried to steady her breathing . Dylan planted a million tiny kisses along the inside of Shannon 's thighs , her breath quick and teasing gusts across her wet pussy lips . She worked her fingers into the waves of chestnut hair and grunted Dylan 's name . It was the first time someone had touched her there since … God , way too long . Way too long . When Dylan 's tongue pressed into her , Shannon 's body went tight . She straightened her spine , and tried to shove herself down at the same time . She came with a handful of Dylan 's hair , her face as red as the shirt hanging off the back of her dining room chair . She clenched her jaw and released Dylan 's hair , let her knees buckle and collapsed forward . They met with a kiss , Shannon straddling Dylan 's thighs and cupping her face tenderly . Shannon settled her weight on Dylan 's lap and leaned back . She could smell the other woman 's sweat , saw the curve of her jaw glisten when another lightning bolt struck outside . She smiled and said , " Do you do this with everyone on your delivery route ? " They were curled together under an afghan , Shannon forming the big spoon against her back . The storm had passed , and strange pink - purple light of a post - rain twilight filtered through the windows of the cottage . They were both naked , the sweat dried to their skin , and Dylan smiled at the memory . Shannon 's arm crossed her breasts and she lifted one to kiss the inside of her wrist . Dylan grabbed her wrist as she tried to get off the couch . Shannon looked at her and Dylan said seriously , " Hey . You want me to be gone when you get back ? " " No ! " Shannon said . She settled back against the cushions and drew Dylan close . She kissed her lips , stroked her hair and whispered , " No , no , " against her mouth . She smiled and said , " You stay right here . I just have some work I have to do . Un - unless you have somewhere you need to be . " Dylan pictured her apartment , with the undone crossword from last Sunday 's paper - she always saved it until Saturday so she only had to wait one day for the answers to be printed in the next edition . She stroked the inside of Shannon 's wrist and kissed her chin . " I have no place I 'd rather be . " Shannon kissed her again , harder , and flicked her tongue against Dylan 's teeth before she finally pulled back . " The light . It 'll take me ten minutes , tops . " Dylan , alone in Shannon 's living room for the first time , laced her fingers together and stretched both arms above her head . She kept reaching until her toes curled , until her muscles quivered with the strain . She finally relaxed and her muscles breathed a sigh of relief . She felt elated , giddy , satisfied … hell , she felt fucked . She laughed and ran a hand through her tangled hair and tugged the blanket up over her breasts . Outside , a few birds were taking advantage of the last embers of the day , their song reaching her even through the thick walls of the cottage . She looked towards the door and wondered if Shannon would have to turn the light back on immediately or if there 'd be a few minutes where the lantern room was dark . A few minutes where they could take advantage of the best view on the island . Five years down , fifty - five or sixty ( give or take ) to go ! Happiest of anniversaries to the bestest of wives . Love you , M ! 🌹❤️🌹☔️->⛅️->☀️
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Natalie continues to need higher levels of oxygenation and vent support . They did find an infection in her blood cultures so she is on an antibiotic . I was hopeful that her recent set backs where caused by the infection and we would see an improvement with the antibiotics but so far that has not been the case . When we arrived at the hospital Friday night Natalie had a surprise waiting for us - s card with her hand and foot prints . So sweet ! Steve also held her for the first time and of course loved every minute of it despite his initial nervousness . I met Natalie 's new neonatologist yesterday . She will be on a 4 week rotation with a 5 day break . I am hoping she has some new insights into Natalie 's care . I am struggling with the stress of all this and trying my best to focus on loving Natalie and not worrying about her numbers . It is so hard . I meant to update when I came home last night but I fell asleep while tucking Annie in and then was awake long enough to pump and go back to bed . Natalie is having a better day today . Yesterday morning was rough but by late afternoon she turned the corner . She had extubated herself again Wednesday and they did another quick attempt on C - PAP . It took a lot out of her and it seems her lungs never fully reinflated . They adjusted some vent settings , nothing happened so they adjusted some more and she finally responded . It seemed like a simple solution to be and I was frustrated that it took them so long to try it . We are really hoping that they give her some time before trying C - PAP again . Each failed attempt causes her to lose ground and she just can 't afford to keep going through that stress . I asked yesterday about using a mask rather than prongs for C - PAP but our hospital does not use masks . I am not sure if they would be willing to order one to try on her or if their equipment is even compatible . It can be hard to get a good seal using a mask and babies tend to develop pressure sores from them . Like everything else in the NICU nothing comes without drawbacks . She is now sedated so she can recuperate . Her feedings have been stopped and started a lot this week but right now they are back on . They increased the amount of high calorie formula she 's getting to try to boost her calories again . I am off to spend the day with Steve , Annie and Natalie as we celebrate our 5th anniversary . I am desperate for Natalie to give us a nice day of rest and recovery as a gift . Natalie has had some ups and downs this week . Today is starting out as another down day . Her O2 requirements are back up at 100 % and they don 't know why . She extubated herself yesterday and they did a quick try on C - PAP . It only lasted 3 hours . She really fights having the prongs in her nose and if there is not a good seal the pressure is lost and it won 't work . I am feeling lost and frustrated . I do not understand why her O2 requirements have been climbing so much lately and they don 't seem to have good answers for us . Please pray hard for Natalie . We need every bit of help we can get . I just got off the phone with Natalie 's nurse . After that happened all yesterday it took everything I had to make the call . I was so afraid of what I would hear . Today so far is looking much better than yesterday . Her oxygen requirements have been in the 30 - 50 's compared to yesterday 's 80 's to 100 % . They were not able to pinpoint a cause for her increased difficulties . The poor baby had 4 chest X - rays yesterday among other tests . They did feel her right lung had collapsed a little but that it was not enough to be the entire problem . Her lungs actually looked less wet than they had been so that was not the entire problem either . The neonatologist felt it might be a rebound reaction from coming off the steroids . We did agree to do a longer course of steroids with a very slow weaning period of 21 days . They changed her ET tube ( breathing tube ) to a larger size this morning . It is possible that she had outgrown the tube and had an air leak . So , her vent settings are the highest they have been in a long time , but at least her oxygen requirements have come down from yesterday . They had discontinued her feeds yesterday to give her a break and moved all her meds from oral doses back to IV meds . They are now in the process of moving everything back to oral ( well , by oral they mean the tube that runs from her nose into her intestine ) . So , that is great progress . The other big news today is she finally had her eye exam and her eyes look mature with no issues . SO nice to have one less thing to worry about . Thank you all for your support yesterday . Days like that really test my limits and it is comforting to know there are people thinking of her and praying hard . I will update later if there is anymore news . GO steroids ! ! ! I hope they do all they can do and we see some decreased vent settings soon ( although right now I will be patient and not too greedy . Today is already more than I thought we would get ) . Please keep Natalie close in your hearts and prayers . Her oxygen requirements have been going up and they don 't know why . They had hoped to try her on C - PAP again today but things have gotten worse instead of better . They have made some adjustments to her meds and vent settings so hopefully she will be requiring less oxygen support soon . Natalie had some struggles today on C - PAP and had to be reintubated and put back on the ventilator . They expect her to be on low settings . As much as I knew this was a possibility it is still so hard to take a step back . I am trying to see this as time for her to rest and grow so next time it will be for keeps . Wednesday evening I was able to hold Natalie despite her being on the vent . It was incredible . She tolerated it for over an hour and slept peacefully the entire time . It is a bit unusual to hold your baby with vent tubes taped to your arm and an infusion pump filled with breast milk on your lap . At the same time it felt like the most natural thing in the world . I spent the first ten minutes crying at the relief of finally having her in my arms . When the doctor stopped by he gave us a good report and felt she was responding well to the steroids . He predicted she would be off the vent by Thursday evening but neither of us could quite get our hopes up . Yesterday I called around 4 : 30 and received a glowing report from her nurse . Natalie had gone down on her vent pressures twice in the morning and tolerated the changes well . Her afternoon blood gas was " too good " so they would have to make another change . When we arrived at the hospital I walked around to check her new settings and at the top of the screen I saw the word " CPAP . " I nearly hit the floor . Five minutes after I had hung up with the nurse Natalie decided for herself that she was done with the vent and coughed her tube out . The doctors came over , said " she read our minds " and put her on C - PAP . She has been tolerating it so far but clearly finds the prongs in her nose to be very uncomfortable ( the nurses say all babies do ) . The next 3 - 5 days will tell us ff she is truly ready to be off the vent and we understand that sometimes it takes a few attempts to really move on . At the same time nothing last night could dampen the joy of watching our baby breath and hearing her cry . Simply amazing . Now . . . . . here 's Natalie with her new breathing gear ! ! ! Our first glimpse at her entire face - the C - PAP prongs were out for a nebulizer treatment . . . Posted by Natalie now weighs 4lbs 7 ounces , just 3 ounces up from her birth weight . Breathing requires a lot of calories due to her respiratory status so gaining weight is a struggle . The good news is that she is now on much better nutrition so healing and growing should be easier . Last night they were able to go down on of her vent settings even before starting the steroids ( breathing rate is now set at 20 breaths per min ) . Her blood gas this morning was good so she tolerated the change well . She gets her second dose of steroids this morning so hopefully we will see some change over the next 24 hours . Her oxygen requirements have still been up and they need to be able to lower the pressure settings on the vent before they can consider extubating . It should be a gradual process , another chance to practice patience . I told Steve to be prepared - when we get the call that the breathing tube is out I will be running full speed to the hospital . I am not sure if I have mentioned her feet before . Both were turned in a little due to her position in the womb and lack of fluid . The left foot has straightened a great deal on it 's own but the right foot is still clearly a club foot . It 's funny to me that had our pregnancy been normal I would have been upset to hear of a club foot . Under our circumstances , however , I just thought " Oh , it 's a foot , we can fix a foot . " So hard to care about other things when a baby 's lungs are at risk . I look forward to the day an orthopedist comes to evaluate her because it will mean she is stable enough to focus on the more mundane issues . Here are some more recent pictures of Natters . She seems much smaller in person . . . I need to put something next to her for a size reference . First Real Clothes ( Outfit courtesy of her Great Aunt Jan ♥ ) She looks a little less like Annie now . Actually , she reminds me quite a bit of my nephew Keith when he was a newborn . They have similar head shapes and hair . Annie was sitting on my lap looking at the pictures and kept saying " Is that MY baby sister ? ? ? She 's soooo cute ! " IPosted by I have gone too long without updating and am now trying to remember everything that has happened since my last post . Steve injured his back late lat week and things went from hectic to , well , whatever is crazier than hectic . Steve is feeling much better now and life is returning to " normal . " Natalie had an echocardiogram last week that showed no evidence of pulmonary hypertension . This is wonderful news as her heart has returned to normal and will not have any lasting effects from the PPH . She does have an atrial septal defect ( ASD - the valve between her atriums that should have closed at birth is still open ) but that is not an immediate concern . They recommend checking again in six months and doing surgery at that point if it has not closed on its own . I immediately filed that away as something I will not worry about right now . She is also on full feeds . It is still through the ND tube but full feeds mean no more TPN . No more TPN means she can go without an IV unless she needs a transfusion or IV meds . This is huge as they were on the verge of giving her a central line and that would leave her vulnerable to infection . They started fortifying the breast milk with human milk fortifier yesterday so she is getting extra calories and nutrients . So nice to know she is finally getting good nutrition ! The nitric oxide was discontinued over the weekend based on the positive echo . She tolerated the wean from the nitric well which was a relief . Last week ended with much frustration . The smiles on the doctors ' faces turned to concerned looks of frustration as she hit a plateau and took a few steps back at times . It has been a very trying time for all involved . Steroids became a frequent topic of discussion . Steroids reduce the inflammation caused by the vent and may help enough to allow a baby to be extubated . Once off the vent the there is no new damage and lungs can finally start to heal . Of course like most of the treatments in the NICU there are risks involved . Studies have shown IV steroids can cause developmental delays , Posted by Natalie continued to have an eventful day . She spit up , which should not be able to happen since the feeding tube empties into her intestines and not her stomach . They did an X - ray to check the placement of the tube and that checked out fine . Then she had a huge loose stool . They don 't know why , so they are keeping her feedings to 10 cc an hour for now and waiting to see what happens . The blood work does not clearly point to pneumonia but they have decided to do a round of antibiotics just to be safe . Her oxygen requirements continued to be higher than normal and her respiratory rate is increased again . This is another case of " wait and see . " She remains on the new vent mode which is a step in the right direction . They also decreased her nitric oxide to 2ppm yesterday and her blood gases have remained good . I will take every bit of good news that I can get . I had a longer than usual visit with her tonight , which I needed . It is so hard to leave her and at the same time so hard to leave Annie . I look forward to the day when both my girls are at home . Please keep Natalie in your thoughts and prayers . I am very hopeful that this is a small blip and she will continue to progress again soon . Natalie 's oxygen requirements creeped up to the 60 's overnight so they ordered a chest X - ray . The X - ray showed very wet lungs . They have ordered an extra dose of Lasix hoping that will draw the fluid out . They also ordered cultures on her lung excretions and a CBC and to rule out pneumonia . As for good news , her vent mode was changed again to one that is a little less invasive . They feel her lungs are strong enough and that the new mode will allow for more healing . It is frustrating that the BPD is what is keeping her on the vent and the vent is keeping the BPD from healing . It is such a catch - 22 and I am hoping that things shift in our favor quickly and her lungs can make good progress . I am now spending my day waiting for test results and hoping she responds well to the interventions . I suppose being in a " chronic phase " in the NICU may not be as easy breezy as I had hoped . It is hard to believe that Natalie is only 3 weeks old . Time in the NICU seems so much longer . Yesterday afternoon we had a wonderful nurse who was so caring and supportive . She was asking me about what we had at home for Natters and what we were planning on buying . I was grateful to have a conversation where her coming home was assumed . It is incredible what difference the doctor or nurse 's approach can make to our emotional state . Some can make you feel optimistic even when delivering bad news and others feel the need to remind you how serious things are when you are trying to savor a rare peaceful moment . While I was there the attending came running over with a big grin on his face . He asked me how I was doing and I asked him how I SHOULD be doing . I really wanted a doctor 's perspective on her progress since I have no idea what to expect at this point . He said he was really happy with her and where things are . The last u / s showed no evidence of blood clots much to everyone 's delight and there were no more signs of infection . She is requiring much less respiratory support and the feedings ( still through her intestines ) are going well . We are now in a " chronic phase " and all we can do is be patient and wait for her to grow and heal . She may be on the vent 2 - 3 more weeks while we are waiting . I am so glad to know what he expects because otherwise I would be worried every day that she was not making faster progress . It is hard to think of another few weeks on the vent but better to know what is ahead ( as much as anyone can make predictions in the NICU ) . As my friend Cass mentioned in a comment , I have a love / hate relationship with the vent . On one side it sustains my daughter 's very life ( and there is no greater positive than that ) . On the other side it is also leaving her lungs with long term damage , makes her uncomfortable , leaves me unable to hold her and overall symbolizes how ill she is . When she is able to breath without it I may collapse from joy . In the meantime , I am going to sit as patiently as I can andPosted by Natalie gave me great blood gases for Mother 's Day - it was all I asked for . They were able to change the mode on the vent to one that allows her to do more work . The vent settings are tweaked whenever her blood gases are good enough to allow changes . Tonight when I arrived the nurse said she had noticed a soft bump under Natalie 's arm . It caused a lot of discussion with the doctors who were concerned about infection . They drew a blood culture and CBC to look for signs of infection . Her white count is elevated but I don 't know how significant it is . We are still waiting to see if they will start her on antibiotics or wait it out . By the time I was at the hospital the mystery bump was gone but the hand on that side was a little cool to the touch . I gave Steve the update when I got home and Annie said " I miss Natalie , too . " It is so hard to explain all of this to her . Yesterday I remembered that the TLC show about the Duggars had filmed episodes in a NICU ( their youngest daughter was very premature ) and let Annie watch some scenes with the baby in the incubator . It was a great way to let her see what we are talking about . When she saw the tiny baby she pointed and said " I want one of those ! " I laughed and said " You HAVE one of those , we just have to wait to bring her home . " Annie continues to have big plans for her baby sister . Last night she told me " I 'm going to teach her how to swim , and how to climb , and how to do sit - ups and push - ups and how to lift weights up and how to balance like a ballerina . " When I saw Natters tonight I told her she better rest up because sister has big plans ahead . I am very much hoping that she shows no further signs of infection and that her blood gases continue to be good enough to allow further decreases in vent settings . I am so anxious for her to get off the vent and on to C - PAP . I have to remind myself that is all on her time schedule . Every night I tell myself this is one more day on the vent that is over with . I don 't know how many more days of ventilation there are ahead , but each oPosted by Overall today has been a good day for Natalie . Her temperature has been a little elevated for two days and they think her isolette is too warm for her . While she is the teeniest little baby I 've seen , by NICU standards she is hefty and the bigger babies sometimes find it hard to stay cool in the isolette . They lifted the lid today to see how she would tolerate being exposed . There is an open air crib with her name on it in the hallway waiting for her . They have reduced her blood gases to every 6 hours because obtaining samples has been difficult . A carbon dioxide monitor was added to her breathing tube to give them a better idea of how she is doing between tests . Her afternoon blood gas was " too good " so they reduced her breathing rate on the vent from 40 to 35 . When I called for the evening update her 10PM blood gas was also good so they lowered it further down to 30 . No adjustments have been made to the pressure settings on the vent as she did not tolerate the changes they tried earlier this week . Her oxygen requirements are still higher than they were on the oscillator but they are in an OK range . The biggest improvement has been her respiratory rate - it is finally down to the 50 's and 60 's . Her foot continues to heal . It is still discolored but the inflammation is improving . She has another u / s scheduled for Monday to monitor the clots ( there is one in her right thigh and one by her liver ) . The attending said the clots surprised them and asked if we have a history of clotting disorders in our family . My sister does have one so there is a possibility that Natalie inherited it as well . They will not do coagulation studies on her at this point as they require a lot of blood and she does not have enough to spare . It also won 't change how they treat her . She had two nice big messy diapers while we were visiting . I have never considered a poopy diaper to be such a beautiful sight before . My face was beaming as the nurse changed her . As long as she tolerates the feedings well they will increase in 1cc increments everyPosted by Let 's see . . . . my last update was Monday night and that now seems like weeks ago . Tuesday I went in to visit Natalie and she was continuing to do well with her oxygen levels . I has a very nice talk with our favorite doctor ( Yesef ) and he was very pleased with her progress . He swung his arms around when he saw her oxygen setting was only at 22 % and said " 21 % is room air ! ! ! " Wednesday when I called for an update she was up to 60 % because she was agitated from her cares ( diaper change , temp check etc ) . I was on edge from her needing a higher setting and was anxious to see her that night . I should say here that the oscillating ventilator takes about 700 breaths a minute in order to keep her lungs gently inflated . It is an incredible force of a machine and fills the room with its presence . The sound is something like a loud air gun that fires nonstop . We arrived in the evening to visit and as we rounded the corner to her pod it was obvious that something was different - there was quiet . When the machine that has been sustaining your daughter 's life for the past week is silent it will literally stop you in your tracks . Steve went to her isolette but I was frozen . Slowly I realized that all was well - she had been moved back to a conventional vent and the hulk of oscillator had been left at her side as only a precaution . Our little girl had made a huge step in the right direction ! ! ! ! She is still breathing much faster than they would like ( around 70 - 90 breaths / minute and they want to see 40 - 60 / min ) but they accept that is just the way Natalie will be for now . Her respiratory rate is a little lower than it was before she was on the oscillator so it does seem to be headed in the right direction . Her blood gases have been mostly good since going back on the conventional vent . Today they were not so great and I am waiting to here if tweaking the vent settings helped . Again I am trying to not get ahead of myself over small set backs . Eating continues to be a struggle . She is now sloughing off the lining of her stomach so she is takinPosted by Today Natalie had another echo on her heart and the unofficial word is that the PDA appears closed , the foramen ovale remains open ( not a major concern right now ) and she continues to show signs of pulmonary hypertension . They plan to continue with her nitric oxide at 4ppm to help with the hypertension . We had a very nice visit today . Her blood gas when we arrived was great so they were finally able to lower some of her vent settings . She responded well to the lasix and her oxygen requirement was an astonishing 26 % ! ! ! This is down from 66 % last night . Room air that we breath is around 21 % so we were very pleased . She did have her first feeding . The milk goes through a tube in her mouth down into her belly . Four hours after she is fed they pull back on a syringe connected to the tube to look for milk that stayed in her stomach ( they refer to this as residuals ) . For her first feed they put in 2cc of milk and when they checked for residuals they pulled back 2 . 8 cc ( the 0 . 8 extra was stomach fluid ) . Well , we were warned that feeding was a stop and go process and may take awhile to get going . I was disappointed that the first feeding did not go through but remain excited that at least we are trying . I also remind myself that she is still on morphine and that slows the digestive tract . She is being weaned from the morphine now so hopefully with that out of her system things will move along more quickly . The nurse lifted the top of the isolette to change Natter 's diaper and it was still up as I prepared to leave . She whispered " do you want to give her a kiss ? " Yes ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! I leaned over and kissed the very top of her sweet little head . Nattie spread her arms out and had such a sweet expression . I will never forget it - her very first kiss . If i haven 't mentioned it before , she has the cutest little head with soft dark hair . I do need to post newer pictures of her soon . I would like to send a special thank you to my mother 's coworkers . I really appreciate the love and support they have shown my mother and especially the warm wPosted by Today was much the same as yesterday for Natalie . They have not been able to lower her vent settings but she is also not any worse . It may take a few days for her new meds to make a noticeable difference . She is completely off of the dopamine for her blood pressure and has handled the change well . Tomorrow if all goes well she will have her first feeding ( a very happy development ) . They are also planning another echo on her heart to evaluate the pulmonary hypertension before they make any further reductions in the nitric oxide levels . She is now at 4ppm , down from 20 ppm , but those last few adjustments down are the most delicate to navigate . My mother went home today so we started forming a new routine . Anneliese needs to have some semblance of normalcy back in her life and I am hoping it will help us all cope a little better . Since returning home Annie has been sleeping in our bed , something that rarely ever happened before . It was a nice way to reconnect but I knew moving her back to her own bed would be easier sooner rather than later . I can 't tell you how nice it was to put her in her pajamas , read to her and tuck her into bed . I have really missed those little things while in the hospital . I drove for the first time since early January and managed to not cause any disturbances . Mundane activities such as going to Target or driving are still a little surreal to me after so much time in my hospital room . I thought I would feel a much greater sense of relief at being " free , " but I now realize I won 't truly feel released until my bed rest partner Natalie is home with me . We are very hopeful that the next few days will show some improvements in Natalie 's lungs and they will be able to start weaning her from the oscillator vents . As always we ask for prayers of support and good health for our little girl . Late yesterday started a series of phone updates that grew progressively worse . By the time we went to bed we were both incredibly tense and eager for morning so we could talk with her doctor . We arrived at the hospital just as they were rounding on our Natters and they were very patient in updating us . Natalie has been on the vent long enough that it is causing an inflammatory process in her lungs . As the doctor explained , it is not a good thing , but it is an expected development at this point . He said it is the usual course of events that baby is born , enjoys a " honeymoon period " then encounters difficulty . That difficulty subsides , there are several days of stability and then another set of difficulties . We are currently facing her second set of expected difficulties . The good news is that the doctors feel confident they know what is going on and they know how to treat it . Today and tomorrow she will be weaning off old meds and starting new ones . They told us to expect a rocky week and we are bracing ourselves but know that Natalie is strong and her doctors are wise . One thing that has been hard for us is to remember that each individual update on Natalie is only a small part of a big overall picture . It is so hard to not let one bad blood gas take your imagination away from you and drive you crazy with worry . I suppose this is something we will have to work on as we adjust to life in the NICU ( Although if anyone has magic advice on how to not worry about your child when she is sick I would be glad to hear it . Honestly I don 't think there is a way to turn this anxiety off ) . Now for the happier events of the day . . . . She had a WONDERFUL nurse today and she spent a lot of time talking with us today and offering her perspective . I was able to change her diaper for the very first time ( Steve has already changed her twice ) . I 've been changing diapers since I was 12 years old yet suddenly I was intimidated by the idea . She was annoyed and made faces at me but overall it was a success . They are easing up on her sedativesPosted by
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Natalie continues to need higher levels of oxygenation and vent support . They did find an infection in her blood cultures so she is on an antibiotic . I was hopeful that her recent set backs where caused by the infection and we would see an improvement with the antibiotics but so far that has not been the case . When we arrived at the hospital Friday night Natalie had a surprise waiting for us - s card with her hand and foot prints . So sweet ! Steve also held her for the first time and of course loved every minute of it despite his initial nervousness . I met Natalie 's new neonatologist yesterday . She will be on a 4 week rotation with a 5 day break . I am hoping she has some new insights into Natalie 's care . I am struggling with the stress of all this and trying my best to focus on loving Natalie and not worrying about her numbers . It is so hard . I meant to update when I came home last night but I fell asleep while tucking Annie in and then was awake long enough to pump and go back to bed . Natalie is having a better day today . Yesterday morning was rough but by late afternoon she turned the corner . She had extubated herself again Wednesday and they did another quick attempt on C - PAP . It took a lot out of her and it seems her lungs never fully reinflated . They adjusted some vent settings , nothing happened so they adjusted some more and she finally responded . It seemed like a simple solution to be and I was frustrated that it took them so long to try it . We are really hoping that they give her some time before trying C - PAP again . Each failed attempt causes her to lose ground and she just can 't afford to keep going through that stress . I asked yesterday about using a mask rather than prongs for C - PAP but our hospital does not use masks . I am not sure if they would be willing to order one to try on her or if their equipment is even compatible . It can be hard to get a good seal using a mask and babies tend to develop pressure sores from them . Like everything else in the NICU nothing comes without drawbacks . She is now sedated so she can recuperate . Her feedings have been stopped and started a lot this week but right now they are back on . They increased the amount of high calorie formula she 's getting to try to boost her calories again . I am off to spend the day with Steve , Annie and Natalie as we celebrate our 5th anniversary . I am desperate for Natalie to give us a nice day of rest and recovery as a gift . Natalie has had some ups and downs this week . Today is starting out as another down day . Her O2 requirements are back up at 100 % and they don 't know why . She extubated herself yesterday and they did a quick try on C - PAP . It only lasted 3 hours . She really fights having the prongs in her nose and if there is not a good seal the pressure is lost and it won 't work . I am feeling lost and frustrated . I do not understand why her O2 requirements have been climbing so much lately and they don 't seem to have good answers for us . Please pray hard for Natalie . We need every bit of help we can get . I just got off the phone with Natalie 's nurse . After that happened all yesterday it took everything I had to make the call . I was so afraid of what I would hear . Today so far is looking much better than yesterday . Her oxygen requirements have been in the 30 - 50 's compared to yesterday 's 80 's to 100 % . They were not able to pinpoint a cause for her increased difficulties . The poor baby had 4 chest X - rays yesterday among other tests . They did feel her right lung had collapsed a little but that it was not enough to be the entire problem . Her lungs actually looked less wet than they had been so that was not the entire problem either . The neonatologist felt it might be a rebound reaction from coming off the steroids . We did agree to do a longer course of steroids with a very slow weaning period of 21 days . They changed her ET tube ( breathing tube ) to a larger size this morning . It is possible that she had outgrown the tube and had an air leak . So , her vent settings are the highest they have been in a long time , but at least her oxygen requirements have come down from yesterday . They had discontinued her feeds yesterday to give her a break and moved all her meds from oral doses back to IV meds . They are now in the process of moving everything back to oral ( well , by oral they mean the tube that runs from her nose into her intestine ) . So , that is great progress . The other big news today is she finally had her eye exam and her eyes look mature with no issues . SO nice to have one less thing to worry about . Thank you all for your support yesterday . Days like that really test my limits and it is comforting to know there are people thinking of her and praying hard . I will update later if there is anymore news . GO steroids ! ! ! I hope they do all they can do and we see some decreased vent settings soon ( although right now I will be patient and not too greedy . Today is already more than I thought we would get ) . Please keep Natalie close in your hearts and prayers . Her oxygen requirements have been going up and they don 't know why . They had hoped to try her on C - PAP again today but things have gotten worse instead of better . They have made some adjustments to her meds and vent settings so hopefully she will be requiring less oxygen support soon . Natalie had some struggles today on C - PAP and had to be reintubated and put back on the ventilator . They expect her to be on low settings . As much as I knew this was a possibility it is still so hard to take a step back . I am trying to see this as time for her to rest and grow so next time it will be for keeps . Wednesday evening I was able to hold Natalie despite her being on the vent . It was incredible . She tolerated it for over an hour and slept peacefully the entire time . It is a bit unusual to hold your baby with vent tubes taped to your arm and an infusion pump filled with breast milk on your lap . At the same time it felt like the most natural thing in the world . I spent the first ten minutes crying at the relief of finally having her in my arms . When the doctor stopped by he gave us a good report and felt she was responding well to the steroids . He predicted she would be off the vent by Thursday evening but neither of us could quite get our hopes up . Yesterday I called around 4 : 30 and received a glowing report from her nurse . Natalie had gone down on her vent pressures twice in the morning and tolerated the changes well . Her afternoon blood gas was " too good " so they would have to make another change . When we arrived at the hospital I walked around to check her new settings and at the top of the screen I saw the word " CPAP . " I nearly hit the floor . Five minutes after I had hung up with the nurse Natalie decided for herself that she was done with the vent and coughed her tube out . The doctors came over , said " she read our minds " and put her on C - PAP . She has been tolerating it so far but clearly finds the prongs in her nose to be very uncomfortable ( the nurses say all babies do ) . The next 3 - 5 days will tell us ff she is truly ready to be off the vent and we understand that sometimes it takes a few attempts to really move on . At the same time nothing last night could dampen the joy of watching our baby breath and hearing her cry . Simply amazing . Now . . . . . here 's Natalie with her new breathing gear ! ! ! Our first glimpse at her entire face - the C - PAP prongs were out for a nebulizer treatment . . . Posted by Natalie now weighs 4lbs 7 ounces , just 3 ounces up from her birth weight . Breathing requires a lot of calories due to her respiratory status so gaining weight is a struggle . The good news is that she is now on much better nutrition so healing and growing should be easier . Last night they were able to go down on of her vent settings even before starting the steroids ( breathing rate is now set at 20 breaths per min ) . Her blood gas this morning was good so she tolerated the change well . She gets her second dose of steroids this morning so hopefully we will see some change over the next 24 hours . Her oxygen requirements have still been up and they need to be able to lower the pressure settings on the vent before they can consider extubating . It should be a gradual process , another chance to practice patience . I told Steve to be prepared - when we get the call that the breathing tube is out I will be running full speed to the hospital . I am not sure if I have mentioned her feet before . Both were turned in a little due to her position in the womb and lack of fluid . The left foot has straightened a great deal on it 's own but the right foot is still clearly a club foot . It 's funny to me that had our pregnancy been normal I would have been upset to hear of a club foot . Under our circumstances , however , I just thought " Oh , it 's a foot , we can fix a foot . " So hard to care about other things when a baby 's lungs are at risk . I look forward to the day an orthopedist comes to evaluate her because it will mean she is stable enough to focus on the more mundane issues . Here are some more recent pictures of Natters . She seems much smaller in person . . . I need to put something next to her for a size reference . First Real Clothes ( Outfit courtesy of her Great Aunt Jan ♥ ) She looks a little less like Annie now . Actually , she reminds me quite a bit of my nephew Keith when he was a newborn . They have similar head shapes and hair . Annie was sitting on my lap looking at the pictures and kept saying " Is that MY baby sister ? ? ? She 's soooo cute ! " IPosted by I have gone too long without updating and am now trying to remember everything that has happened since my last post . Steve injured his back late lat week and things went from hectic to , well , whatever is crazier than hectic . Steve is feeling much better now and life is returning to " normal . " Natalie had an echocardiogram last week that showed no evidence of pulmonary hypertension . This is wonderful news as her heart has returned to normal and will not have any lasting effects from the PPH . She does have an atrial septal defect ( ASD - the valve between her atriums that should have closed at birth is still open ) but that is not an immediate concern . They recommend checking again in six months and doing surgery at that point if it has not closed on its own . I immediately filed that away as something I will not worry about right now . She is also on full feeds . It is still through the ND tube but full feeds mean no more TPN . No more TPN means she can go without an IV unless she needs a transfusion or IV meds . This is huge as they were on the verge of giving her a central line and that would leave her vulnerable to infection . They started fortifying the breast milk with human milk fortifier yesterday so she is getting extra calories and nutrients . So nice to know she is finally getting good nutrition ! The nitric oxide was discontinued over the weekend based on the positive echo . She tolerated the wean from the nitric well which was a relief . Last week ended with much frustration . The smiles on the doctors ' faces turned to concerned looks of frustration as she hit a plateau and took a few steps back at times . It has been a very trying time for all involved . Steroids became a frequent topic of discussion . Steroids reduce the inflammation caused by the vent and may help enough to allow a baby to be extubated . Once off the vent the there is no new damage and lungs can finally start to heal . Of course like most of the treatments in the NICU there are risks involved . Studies have shown IV steroids can cause developmental delays , Posted by Natalie continued to have an eventful day . She spit up , which should not be able to happen since the feeding tube empties into her intestines and not her stomach . They did an X - ray to check the placement of the tube and that checked out fine . Then she had a huge loose stool . They don 't know why , so they are keeping her feedings to 10 cc an hour for now and waiting to see what happens . The blood work does not clearly point to pneumonia but they have decided to do a round of antibiotics just to be safe . Her oxygen requirements continued to be higher than normal and her respiratory rate is increased again . This is another case of " wait and see . " She remains on the new vent mode which is a step in the right direction . They also decreased her nitric oxide to 2ppm yesterday and her blood gases have remained good . I will take every bit of good news that I can get . I had a longer than usual visit with her tonight , which I needed . It is so hard to leave her and at the same time so hard to leave Annie . I look forward to the day when both my girls are at home . Please keep Natalie in your thoughts and prayers . I am very hopeful that this is a small blip and she will continue to progress again soon . Natalie 's oxygen requirements creeped up to the 60 's overnight so they ordered a chest X - ray . The X - ray showed very wet lungs . They have ordered an extra dose of Lasix hoping that will draw the fluid out . They also ordered cultures on her lung excretions and a CBC and to rule out pneumonia . As for good news , her vent mode was changed again to one that is a little less invasive . They feel her lungs are strong enough and that the new mode will allow for more healing . It is frustrating that the BPD is what is keeping her on the vent and the vent is keeping the BPD from healing . It is such a catch - 22 and I am hoping that things shift in our favor quickly and her lungs can make good progress . I am now spending my day waiting for test results and hoping she responds well to the interventions . I suppose being in a " chronic phase " in the NICU may not be as easy breezy as I had hoped . It is hard to believe that Natalie is only 3 weeks old . Time in the NICU seems so much longer . Yesterday afternoon we had a wonderful nurse who was so caring and supportive . She was asking me about what we had at home for Natters and what we were planning on buying . I was grateful to have a conversation where her coming home was assumed . It is incredible what difference the doctor or nurse 's approach can make to our emotional state . Some can make you feel optimistic even when delivering bad news and others feel the need to remind you how serious things are when you are trying to savor a rare peaceful moment . While I was there the attending came running over with a big grin on his face . He asked me how I was doing and I asked him how I SHOULD be doing . I really wanted a doctor 's perspective on her progress since I have no idea what to expect at this point . He said he was really happy with her and where things are . The last u / s showed no evidence of blood clots much to everyone 's delight and there were no more signs of infection . She is requiring much less respiratory support and the feedings ( still through her intestines ) are going well . We are now in a " chronic phase " and all we can do is be patient and wait for her to grow and heal . She may be on the vent 2 - 3 more weeks while we are waiting . I am so glad to know what he expects because otherwise I would be worried every day that she was not making faster progress . It is hard to think of another few weeks on the vent but better to know what is ahead ( as much as anyone can make predictions in the NICU ) . As my friend Cass mentioned in a comment , I have a love / hate relationship with the vent . On one side it sustains my daughter 's very life ( and there is no greater positive than that ) . On the other side it is also leaving her lungs with long term damage , makes her uncomfortable , leaves me unable to hold her and overall symbolizes how ill she is . When she is able to breath without it I may collapse from joy . In the meantime , I am going to sit as patiently as I can andPosted by Natalie gave me great blood gases for Mother 's Day - it was all I asked for . They were able to change the mode on the vent to one that allows her to do more work . The vent settings are tweaked whenever her blood gases are good enough to allow changes . Tonight when I arrived the nurse said she had noticed a soft bump under Natalie 's arm . It caused a lot of discussion with the doctors who were concerned about infection . They drew a blood culture and CBC to look for signs of infection . Her white count is elevated but I don 't know how significant it is . We are still waiting to see if they will start her on antibiotics or wait it out . By the time I was at the hospital the mystery bump was gone but the hand on that side was a little cool to the touch . I gave Steve the update when I got home and Annie said " I miss Natalie , too . " It is so hard to explain all of this to her . Yesterday I remembered that the TLC show about the Duggars had filmed episodes in a NICU ( their youngest daughter was very premature ) and let Annie watch some scenes with the baby in the incubator . It was a great way to let her see what we are talking about . When she saw the tiny baby she pointed and said " I want one of those ! " I laughed and said " You HAVE one of those , we just have to wait to bring her home . " Annie continues to have big plans for her baby sister . Last night she told me " I 'm going to teach her how to swim , and how to climb , and how to do sit - ups and push - ups and how to lift weights up and how to balance like a ballerina . " When I saw Natters tonight I told her she better rest up because sister has big plans ahead . I am very much hoping that she shows no further signs of infection and that her blood gases continue to be good enough to allow further decreases in vent settings . I am so anxious for her to get off the vent and on to C - PAP . I have to remind myself that is all on her time schedule . Every night I tell myself this is one more day on the vent that is over with . I don 't know how many more days of ventilation there are ahead , but each oPosted by Overall today has been a good day for Natalie . Her temperature has been a little elevated for two days and they think her isolette is too warm for her . While she is the teeniest little baby I 've seen , by NICU standards she is hefty and the bigger babies sometimes find it hard to stay cool in the isolette . They lifted the lid today to see how she would tolerate being exposed . There is an open air crib with her name on it in the hallway waiting for her . They have reduced her blood gases to every 6 hours because obtaining samples has been difficult . A carbon dioxide monitor was added to her breathing tube to give them a better idea of how she is doing between tests . Her afternoon blood gas was " too good " so they reduced her breathing rate on the vent from 40 to 35 . When I called for the evening update her 10PM blood gas was also good so they lowered it further down to 30 . No adjustments have been made to the pressure settings on the vent as she did not tolerate the changes they tried earlier this week . Her oxygen requirements are still higher than they were on the oscillator but they are in an OK range . The biggest improvement has been her respiratory rate - it is finally down to the 50 's and 60 's . Her foot continues to heal . It is still discolored but the inflammation is improving . She has another u / s scheduled for Monday to monitor the clots ( there is one in her right thigh and one by her liver ) . The attending said the clots surprised them and asked if we have a history of clotting disorders in our family . My sister does have one so there is a possibility that Natalie inherited it as well . They will not do coagulation studies on her at this point as they require a lot of blood and she does not have enough to spare . It also won 't change how they treat her . She had two nice big messy diapers while we were visiting . I have never considered a poopy diaper to be such a beautiful sight before . My face was beaming as the nurse changed her . As long as she tolerates the feedings well they will increase in 1cc increments everyPosted by Let 's see . . . . my last update was Monday night and that now seems like weeks ago . Tuesday I went in to visit Natalie and she was continuing to do well with her oxygen levels . I has a very nice talk with our favorite doctor ( Yesef ) and he was very pleased with her progress . He swung his arms around when he saw her oxygen setting was only at 22 % and said " 21 % is room air ! ! ! " Wednesday when I called for an update she was up to 60 % because she was agitated from her cares ( diaper change , temp check etc ) . I was on edge from her needing a higher setting and was anxious to see her that night . I should say here that the oscillating ventilator takes about 700 breaths a minute in order to keep her lungs gently inflated . It is an incredible force of a machine and fills the room with its presence . The sound is something like a loud air gun that fires nonstop . We arrived in the evening to visit and as we rounded the corner to her pod it was obvious that something was different - there was quiet . When the machine that has been sustaining your daughter 's life for the past week is silent it will literally stop you in your tracks . Steve went to her isolette but I was frozen . Slowly I realized that all was well - she had been moved back to a conventional vent and the hulk of oscillator had been left at her side as only a precaution . Our little girl had made a huge step in the right direction ! ! ! ! She is still breathing much faster than they would like ( around 70 - 90 breaths / minute and they want to see 40 - 60 / min ) but they accept that is just the way Natalie will be for now . Her respiratory rate is a little lower than it was before she was on the oscillator so it does seem to be headed in the right direction . Her blood gases have been mostly good since going back on the conventional vent . Today they were not so great and I am waiting to here if tweaking the vent settings helped . Again I am trying to not get ahead of myself over small set backs . Eating continues to be a struggle . She is now sloughing off the lining of her stomach so she is takinPosted by Today Natalie had another echo on her heart and the unofficial word is that the PDA appears closed , the foramen ovale remains open ( not a major concern right now ) and she continues to show signs of pulmonary hypertension . They plan to continue with her nitric oxide at 4ppm to help with the hypertension . We had a very nice visit today . Her blood gas when we arrived was great so they were finally able to lower some of her vent settings . She responded well to the lasix and her oxygen requirement was an astonishing 26 % ! ! ! This is down from 66 % last night . Room air that we breath is around 21 % so we were very pleased . She did have her first feeding . The milk goes through a tube in her mouth down into her belly . Four hours after she is fed they pull back on a syringe connected to the tube to look for milk that stayed in her stomach ( they refer to this as residuals ) . For her first feed they put in 2cc of milk and when they checked for residuals they pulled back 2 . 8 cc ( the 0 . 8 extra was stomach fluid ) . Well , we were warned that feeding was a stop and go process and may take awhile to get going . I was disappointed that the first feeding did not go through but remain excited that at least we are trying . I also remind myself that she is still on morphine and that slows the digestive tract . She is being weaned from the morphine now so hopefully with that out of her system things will move along more quickly . The nurse lifted the top of the isolette to change Natter 's diaper and it was still up as I prepared to leave . She whispered " do you want to give her a kiss ? " Yes ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! I leaned over and kissed the very top of her sweet little head . Nattie spread her arms out and had such a sweet expression . I will never forget it - her very first kiss . If i haven 't mentioned it before , she has the cutest little head with soft dark hair . I do need to post newer pictures of her soon . I would like to send a special thank you to my mother 's coworkers . I really appreciate the love and support they have shown my mother and especially the warm wPosted by Today was much the same as yesterday for Natalie . They have not been able to lower her vent settings but she is also not any worse . It may take a few days for her new meds to make a noticeable difference . She is completely off of the dopamine for her blood pressure and has handled the change well . Tomorrow if all goes well she will have her first feeding ( a very happy development ) . They are also planning another echo on her heart to evaluate the pulmonary hypertension before they make any further reductions in the nitric oxide levels . She is now at 4ppm , down from 20 ppm , but those last few adjustments down are the most delicate to navigate . My mother went home today so we started forming a new routine . Anneliese needs to have some semblance of normalcy back in her life and I am hoping it will help us all cope a little better . Since returning home Annie has been sleeping in our bed , something that rarely ever happened before . It was a nice way to reconnect but I knew moving her back to her own bed would be easier sooner rather than later . I can 't tell you how nice it was to put her in her pajamas , read to her and tuck her into bed . I have really missed those little things while in the hospital . I drove for the first time since early January and managed to not cause any disturbances . Mundane activities such as going to Target or driving are still a little surreal to me after so much time in my hospital room . I thought I would feel a much greater sense of relief at being " free , " but I now realize I won 't truly feel released until my bed rest partner Natalie is home with me . We are very hopeful that the next few days will show some improvements in Natalie 's lungs and they will be able to start weaning her from the oscillator vents . As always we ask for prayers of support and good health for our little girl . Late yesterday started a series of phone updates that grew progressively worse . By the time we went to bed we were both incredibly tense and eager for morning so we could talk with her doctor . We arrived at the hospital just as they were rounding on our Natters and they were very patient in updating us . Natalie has been on the vent long enough that it is causing an inflammatory process in her lungs . As the doctor explained , it is not a good thing , but it is an expected development at this point . He said it is the usual course of events that baby is born , enjoys a " honeymoon period " then encounters difficulty . That difficulty subsides , there are several days of stability and then another set of difficulties . We are currently facing her second set of expected difficulties . The good news is that the doctors feel confident they know what is going on and they know how to treat it . Today and tomorrow she will be weaning off old meds and starting new ones . They told us to expect a rocky week and we are bracing ourselves but know that Natalie is strong and her doctors are wise . One thing that has been hard for us is to remember that each individual update on Natalie is only a small part of a big overall picture . It is so hard to not let one bad blood gas take your imagination away from you and drive you crazy with worry . I suppose this is something we will have to work on as we adjust to life in the NICU ( Although if anyone has magic advice on how to not worry about your child when she is sick I would be glad to hear it . Honestly I don 't think there is a way to turn this anxiety off ) . Now for the happier events of the day . . . . She had a WONDERFUL nurse today and she spent a lot of time talking with us today and offering her perspective . I was able to change her diaper for the very first time ( Steve has already changed her twice ) . I 've been changing diapers since I was 12 years old yet suddenly I was intimidated by the idea . She was annoyed and made faces at me but overall it was a success . They are easing up on her sedativesPosted by
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Her own anger ebbs as quickly as it had risen . " Alex , " she says . Gently . " This time it 's all right to walk away . " She lies there in the dark , waiting for him . She hears small rustling sounds as he removes his clothes , then his arm . Feels the dip of the mattress when he climbs into bed behind her . What else is there ? That 's all right ? It isn 't , and they both know it . I understand ? I forgive you ? She does , and she has , and yet it seems so cheap , so meaningless to say those things about something so cataclysmic . And saying them will only shame him more . Somewhere along the line , his mouth finds her shoulder . Kissing . Sucking . There is a shift , from grief to wanting . She feels a flare of righteous anger . How dare he want her to comfort him ? How fucking dare he ? He brought her to Diana 's old apartment at the Watergate . A nurse lived there with her - Greta , the same nurse who now nursed Spender himself - and after four weeks , she was declared as good as new . In fact , she was aware of residual weakness in her bones and teeth , and she doubted she would ever be completely as she had been , but she kept that information to herself . But she was well enough to re - establish contacts and make enquiries . It seemed that Spender had been behaving erratically since the night of El Rico . He had been physically well at that time , but his actions pointed to a gradual loss of judgement . The last straw was when he allowed Dana Scully into the building that had taken the place of East 46th Street as the centre of operations . That had been an expensive breach , and he was summarily dismissed for it . It had taken them a while to get all his security clearances pulled from the system , though , and there had been enough time for him to free Marita . His reasons , of course , were not altruistic . He wanted a lackey , someone who still had knowledge and access , and she was the only one desperate enough to take the job . He held Alex 's location over her head for months , until finally , he needed Alex , too . Spender had not been forthcoming about the reasons for Alex 's imprisonment . She knew only that Alex had been set up , that he had been caught selling intelligence in the Middle East , and that he had been sentenced to life imprisonment in a penal colony . Others in the resistance told her more : that Spender was afraid of Alex ; that after El Rico Alex turned feral . Gone were the clean , painless kills that had once set him apart from his fellow operatives . He embarked on a campaign of brutality - one hit was found decapitated , another burnt to death . He was louder . More confrontational . " He never got over leaving you there , Marita , " Jeffrey warned her in hushed , confidential tones just before she flew out for Tunisia . " He changed . The old man was scared to death of him . " Jeffrey had thrown himself into vaccine research since his rescue , and , oddly enough , seemed very happy despite his injuries . In the resistance , peopled by failed experiments of every kind , he had found acceptance and warmth . It was she who was an outsider here . " But how will I know ? " she wondered . Thinking of the hotel and the flight and the hire car . The supplies she 'd bought for the apartment , the appointments she 'd made with his specialists . Suddenly she felt horribly naive . What if she 'd worked so hard to get him back , but the man she knew was no longer there ? She 'll fly the plane herself if she has to . " I 'd say they 're pretty good . " She strokes his cheek with the back of her hand . " You 're sure ? " He nods . " You 're right , Marita . It 's time to walk away . I 'm ready - at least as ready as I 'll ever be . " It makes her nervous , being in that building . So many people there would love to arrest Alex and put him away . It would be painfully ironic if , after all they 'd endured , he were to be caught by some rookie right there in the FBI . They stay there through lunchtime , telling what they know . They don 't tell of the resistance work or their plans to walk , but they tell everything else . The collapse of the project . The rise of new people to power . The old man 's pathetic manipulations . That the cloning experiments continue , even now . She recounts as much as she can bear to tell of the tests , in conversational tones while they eat . She looks studiously at her food while she does it , and she can feel his eyes on her . Sees that gently proud smile again from the corner of her eye . There are no preliminaries . Alex advances on him . Takes the handles of his wheelchair , over Greta 's protests . Marita watches . She pushes Greta back when she tries to follow . She will never know what it is that makes Greta obey . Perhaps she believes Marita is afraid of Alex . Who knows ? She is afraid , it 's true , but her fear is for him , not of him . She follows Alex out of the apartment . Stands by him when he pushes the old man down the stairs . She draws grim satisfaction from the clattering sound of his tangled body and wheelchair tumbling down the stairs . She didn 't want this - but then , part of her did , as well . She stares down at Spender 's crumpled body at the foot of the stairs . She thinks it isn 't enough . Not nearly enough for what he put them through . Alex begins to walk , and she does the same . Keeping pace with him . Suddenly sounds are sharper . Colours are more vibrant . She can hear their footsteps thudding in her ears . Can sense the primitive blood thirst coming off him in waves . She waits . She can feel him , deliberating . She feels him poised . Watches , heartsick , waiting for the first kick . The first punch . Braces herself for his fury and his pain . Marita and Grisha are looking at photographs of Grozny . They are the Grozny of yesteryear , a more peaceful , less bloodied Grozny . Grisha points excitedly at landmarks . He shares memories in a garbled mix of English , Chechen , and Russian . He points with his hand and his prosthetic , each one as clumsy as the other . Marita looks down at him , smiling , and then up again when Alex comes into the room . " Is there anything we can do ? " he says into the phone . Holding her gaze . Frowning . " No , I know . Yeah . I 'll tell her . " He nods . " He had the right pass codes , and he checked mine . It was him . Seems our old friend Mulder broke into a military installation . They 're saying he killed a man - a man Jeffrey says is one of the alien replacements . " " They have documents saying he enlisted . Forged , I imagine . Jeffrey 's going to testify for Mulder , but he doesn 't think it will be enough . " Suddenly , she understands . She goes pale . Tense . Grisha looks up at her curiously . " He wants me to testify for Mulder , doesn 't he ? " She looks down at Grisha 's upturned face . Ruffles his hair . " Alex , if I tell even one - tenth of what I know , they 'll kill me . " He passes his hand over his face . " Well , it 's up to you . You don 't have to . You certainly don 't owe Mulder anything . " He sighs . " If you want to do this , Marita , we 'll find a way . We 'll go somewhere else . Somewhere safer . " She thinks about it . About all the choices she made . Obeying the Syndicate . Taking the boy . About all the times she chose safety over what was good or right . She thinks about the way she hates herself for that now . She shakes her head . " No , " she says . " I don 't . " She wants to be home in Lausanne with her husband and her son and the life they 've made together . She never wanted to come here again . " Because I keep thinking about what I did . The way I gave in . The way I gave up . " She looks at him . " I should have fought for us , Alex . I was weak and scared , and I cost us everything . " His arm tightens around her . She sinks back against him , into his warmth , and tears spill over her cheeks . " You have nothing to be sorry for , Marita . " He kisses her temple . They are interrupted by a knock at the door . They look at each other in alarm , breaking apart . Alex draws his gun when she goes to the door . " Miss Covarrubias , " Skinner begins , cordially enough , but then he sees Alex behind her . His face turns dead white . " You son of a bitch ! " he says , pushing past her . " How the hell did you do it ? " She steps forward , between the men . Alarmed . " Mr Skinner , our son is a Chechen refugee . He 's very traumatised , and he is afraid of loud noises . Now , either lower your voice , or leave . " Skinner looks at her . Clearly waging some inner battle . Finally , he breathes out through his nose . " Fine , " he says in a low voice . " But I want some answers from you , " he says over her shoulder , " starting with how you saved your sorry ass . " Alex 's voice is gravelly with irritation . " Look , I haven 't seen you since that day in Mulder 's office two years ago . I have no idea what you 're talking about . " " You mean an alien replacement ? " she says . " It 's possible . We know they have one of Alex . That was why we had to get out to begin with . So it couldn 't pose as Alex to infiltrate the work on a vaccine . " Alex shifts uncomfortably . " It 's not important . I 'll tell you later , " he tells her . To Skinner , he says , " The controller was seized by the Tunisian authorities three years ago . I don 't have it . " Skinner grimaces . Clearly dismayed . He blinks . Shakes his head a little . As though remembering something he 'd forgotten . At last , he says , " I came to ask you to testify before a military tribunal . About what you know about the conspiracy . " " I know a little , " she says . " How did you get this address ? It disappeared from the database years ago , when I left the United Nations . " Not that she really left , so much as vanished . " He might , " Skinner says . " He has a photographic memory . And I don 't see how else he could have gotten it from in the brig . " Marita nods . " You didn 't answer my question . The conspiracy isn 't his defence , is it ? Is he * trying * to be executed ? " Skinner shakes his head helplessly . " The whole thing 's a farce . He 's not going to get off . I think he wants to go out with a bang . " " Because you know . You know the truth , and it deserves to be heard . Even if we 're the only ones who are willing to believe . " He looks at each of them in turn . " Please tell me you acquired some decency along with this son of yours . " She falters when Skinner pushes her , and Mulder intervenes and stops him . A little part of her feels white - hot resentment when he does it . Is she supposed to be grateful to him now ? After all he did , all he failed to do ? All he cost them with his worthless , pointless quest ? Does this make up for the rape , and the tests , and Alex 's arm ? But then she thinks of Jeffrey . Her friend Jeffrey , who asked this of her . She thinks of Alex and Grisha , and how Mulder 's intervention might - * might * - allow them safety for a little while longer . When she walks out of the gates of Mount Weather , Alex is standing there , leaning against the car by the side of the road . Picking at a long stem of wild grass , throwing seeds at the barbed wire fence . He looks peaceful , and for so long , she hadn 't dared believe she would see him like that . She realises that she isn 't the only one to come out the other side here , and the knowledge makes the breath catch in her throat and her eyes fill with tears of joy . She feels silly for it , and she wipes them with the back of her hand . She remembers the night he found her . She remembers him in a makeshift infirmary in Tunguska . Remembers making love with him on a ship . A quarantine ward . A prison . A thousand other moments along the way . Some are important , some are not . But realisation sweeps over her , that every one of those moments has led them to this one now . " It was over for you , " she says . " But it wasn 't over for me . It took this - " she waves a hand back at the installation " - to make me see it . " " I 've given back . . . what I needed to give back . Or gotten it . Or both . " She doesn 't know how to explain it any better than that . He holds her . Smooths back the hair from her face . Eyes grave . " Doesn 't seem right , you know . Just walking away like that . " She knows what he means . She feels it too . " We wanted to save the world , Alex , but we were only ever cogs in the wheel . We did what we could . That 's all anyone can ask . " She touches his cheek . " Even Mulder realised that in the end . " " Not bad , " Alex says . " Good , actually . " She looks at him in query . He explains , " A couple of military vehicles went by . He didn 't get upset . I was sure he would . " He kisses her . Slow and tender . Just an interlude . A few stolen moments along the way . They break apart reluctantly . Linked hands promise a lifetime of moments to come . I 've been pretty stuck with writing Krycek and Marita since Existence , and particularly since The Truth . I 've written the two of them , yes , but it 's tended to be short pieces set in the past ( Trace A Random Star , The Anointed ) , angsty pieces told from an external POV ( Strange Bedfellows , Signs Of Life ) , or little throwaway pieces written mostly as a self - imposed challenge ( Arrested Momentum ) . I 've had lots of things I 've wanted to write , but none of them really came together . And that 's despite being firmly of the belief that a plausible case can be made that Alex didn 't die . I 've written dead characters before - that 's not usually a stumbling block for me - but his position in the Season 8 arc is problematic in a number of ways , and it 's taken a while for me to fit them together with what went on up to Requiem . What finally broke it was a Mulder / Diana post - col I 'm working on , Metanoia . ( It 's been on the backburner while I write this , but I want to finish it ) . Metanoia has Alex and Marita in the background , with a backstory that explains Alex 's survival . Much to my surprise , this seemed to resolve my long - standing writer 's block for these two . I think I needed to actually write a scenario that still made sense in light of The Truth , not just think one up . This one started out without a plan , unlike most of my work , but I got one fast . It pulls in a lot of threads I 've wanted to work with and haven 't had a chance . In some ways , I think it revisits what I tried to do three years ago with my first Krycek / Marita work , Not My Lover . That story ran side - by - side with canon , exploring their past until Requiem , and closed on them after the work was over . This one does the same to The Truth . But there are differences , too . In NML , they were the movers and shakers , who brought about the end of the colonist threat . They had to accept that their work was done and let go of their need to take responsibility for the path the world took afterwards . Conversely , in Restitution , they are cogs in the wheel . They must accept that they have done everything they could , and that their part in the work is done , and trust others to continue it after them . In NML , their actions were reinterpreted and almost always noble . In Restitution , they still have that noble spirit I see in them both , but their actions are more flawed - more human . The stories are two sides of the one coin , but I think , overall , that this story is a more mature treatment of the same basic idea . They each have their merits , and NML will always have a very special place in my heart , but I think Restitution addresses a lot of the flaws I 've perceived in NML with the passage of time . It would be poetic , then , if Restitution were to be my swan song as an author in XF . But somehow I don 't think that 's going to happen . I 've got too many stories to tell for you to be able to get rid of me just yet . So let 's say I 'm reinventing myself in light of the end of the show , instead . Big thanks to my LiveJournal friends . This is the first long story I 've completed " live " , so to speak - sharing installments in first - draft form . It was a scary thing to do , because first drafts are sketchy and unimpressive , and I did fear that people would not bother to read the story in its final form because they already got the main gist of it . But it worked out really well . Thanks to others of you who quietly support me along the way as well , whether close friend or reader - from - a - distance . I 've been a total ingrate the last year or so . It 's been a hard twelve months , and a lot of people who deserved thanks and time didn 't get them . But it was never for lack of love on my part - only for lack of equipment .
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I 'm off south to catch an epic struggle between two sports juggernauts . One T - ball team of 7 year olds against another . I predict joy in Mudville . Then a clash of two " dad " teams , probably with some beer involved . I predict joy in Budville . A Collection of Thoughts From the Past Few DaysAfter finishing a run of an opera , it was fascinating to me to discover how much the show changes . It 's been a while since I 've played in one , so perhaps I forgot the previous times I noticed this . In an art form that has to be carfully coordinated between conductor , ensemble , and vocalist , I was aware of how much variation sneaks in . Musicians entering on the wrong beat of the melody , throwing things out of sync . Singers forgetting their lines , and a beat of noticable silence before someone else 's ad lib covers the mistake . Bars usually in four get turned into two on the spot to compensate for someone who 's talking too fast . Someone sings softer than usual , forcing a quick rebalance during a performance . Rhythms that still aren 't played correctly . Unisons that aren 't . * * * *** * * * I may have been paid for the performance , but I need to deduct a location fee from my gross receipts : someone stole my license stickers during one of the night rehearsals . Yay for parking in a bad part of town . I 'm still not sure if it was a snub that my old car wasn 't taken . Perhaps the stickers were the most valuable part . . . * * * *** * * * I drove to St . Louis immediately following the performance . At the restraunt where I stopped for dinner there was a grandmother / grandfather couple at a different table . For all the time since I entered to when they got up and left , they said not a single word to each other . I suppose after 50 - some years of marriage , you 've said everything . But come on ! They looked like two sad individuals who just happened to sit at the same table without realizing . * * * *** * * * Two people are murdered off - stage , with three gunshots . Screaming , fighting , yelling . How could the line " For Christ 's sake , what happened ? " be delivered any more apathetically ? I suppose the actor could have come in from off - stage , eating grapes , lain on a fainting couch , and then said it with all the passion of a patrician emperor reading a tax form . * * * *** * * * An old friend died this week . One of my firFrom the mind of I was eating in a restraunt today , one of those ones with a drive - thru lane that wraps around the building . A low - riding pickup ( painted some strange color that I bet an interior decorator would call an " dusky earth tone " ) came around after ordering to wait in line behind the car at the window . After taking a bite of my food , a mom - style minivan had pulled around behind the pickup . The woman who was driving ( probably early 40 's ) was gesticulating wildly and saying words that required her mouth to get really big . It was a bit like watching a sporting coach verbally assault an official ; almost like their mouths are moving in slow motion , like you might be able to read their lips if you tried . She was gesturing at the pick - up in front of her , and engaging in some sort of accusation . She seemed extremely frustrated . I 'm not quite sure what the story was . Generally , if you make people mad on the road , they don 't follow you into the drive - thru lane to keep talking at you , so that 's off the list . The windows were rolled up on both cars , so nobody could actually hear anyone else . The truck only had one bumper sticker I could see , which was for something like " Young Protestants for George W . Bush " . Quite frankly , I 'm not sure this would create that much of a scene . At least , not this far away from the major universities in town . Not content with pointing out his faults to a non - existant passenger , she then picked up her cell , used a one - touch dial , and spoke to someone on the phone about it . A friend ? Who knows . I think she was even leaving a message , because from the time she picked up her phone to when she closed it , her mouth never stopped moving . It would have been difficult for the person on the other end to get a word in ; words like " hello , " for example . I 'm not sure what this fellow had done to this lady in a past life ; perhaps a shark the color of his car killed her parents . I couldn 't say . But people like this really need to learn how to let some things go , especially when driving a two - ton vehicle . I 've noticed a rise in sandwich - board advertising near where I live . A few weeks ago , it started with a local Jiffy - Lube . Their garage sits on a corner . On the OPPOSITE CORNER , there was a fellow in a full body placard , formed in the shape of a quart container of motor oil . It mentions some special price or deal , I think . He was just walking around near the stoplight , seemingly lost . I wept for him , sad little Quart , because apparently he 'd gotten lost on the way to the Jiffy - Lube , and had forgotten how to cross the street . Just in the last couple of weeks , Wendy 's has started a big advertising push . Big weather balloons tethered to the store , and girls dressed up like " Wendy " out front , holding signs . She may look cute up their on the store sign , but Wendy 's hair does not transfer well to living people . It looks heavy . Then I happened to pass by when their were TWO Wendys ( Wendii ? ) out front . I 'm really not sure what was going on . They were holding a sign between them , but just casually talking to each other . Strange . Also strange because whatever was actually on that sign , I missed it . Perhaps it has something to do with them changing french fry oils to something without trans fats ( as I heard on NPR today ) , but I doubt they 'd fly balloons and pay little girls for that . And the Quart of Oil was back at the other stoplight . Only this time , when he turned sideways to I could see the man sandwiched between the placards , he was talking on his cell phone . Guess you need to kill time somehow . * * * *** * * * I do not own a gun . I support the Right to Bear Arms . However , I dislike the N . R . A . ( National Rifle Association ) with a passion . And when people who have lots of guns get really paranoid , that makes me uneasy . Observe this : http : / / www . stopungunban . org / Essentially , the N . R . A . is worried that the U . N . is going to do . . . something . . . that will take away all of your guns ! And on the 4th of July , to boot ! As Krusty the Clown says : " Guns are for self - defense , hunting dangerous and delicious animals , and keeping the king of EnglaFrom the mind of The Issue : USA getting close to passing an amendment prohibiting burning the Flag in ProtestCohesive Argument Supporting the Ban : Citizen 's Flag AllianceNot Quite As Cohesive Argument Opposing the Ban : Cracking the Flag Burning AmendmentI consider this an issue that every American should know about and think about . Far too many people have no knowledge of important issues occuring around them . Of the people who have opinions , how many are just recycling the views of their parents , without bothering to think it through for themselves . I don 't mean to say that your parents may not make decisions , but it is the duty ( a word I do not use lightly ) of everyone to examine their own beliefs . Just because your family or friends think something , doesn 't mean you should automatically , too . My Thoughts : Flag burning is a stupid idea for a protest . It practically guarantees that no one will pay attention to your argument . It divides you immediately from acceptance by everyone who considers the icon of " the Flag " as more important than the freedoms and ideals " the Flag " represents . A better way to protest might be to fly the flag upside down , which is a method of showing emergency and a call for aid . It used to be important , but now in the days of cell phones and 911 , I 'm sure that as a " call for help , " it 's fallen out of fashion . So , yes , I think flag burning is stupid . But I think it will be wrong ( another word I don 't use lightly ) to ban it . The whole point of enshrining the First Amendment in the government contract is that you can use the First Amendment to protest anything , even the government . To me , the difficulty is that people think " the Flag " is what 's important . It 's not the flag . It 's what the flag represents . When you lift the symbol beyond the importance of what it represents , then you 've drifted into the realm of idolatry . For a similar situation , examine what people have done to the symbol of " Jesus " , and what shallow Christians they 've become when " Christ as Unchanging Marble Statue " becomes more important than From the mind of This morning , I saw a special on terraforming Mars . I finished viewing excited about the possibilities . I 'm reading Shopgirl , by Steve Martin . I have not seen the movie . It 's obvious to me that it was written by a comedian . Not because it 's funny , but because it bears all the marks of having been written by a person who has spent his life observing other people 's behavior . Observation is key to a comedian . I 'm eating tasty ice cream , made all the tastier because it was on sale . It was said to me recently that a man cannot be friends with a woman , unless he is attracted to her . I think that 's utter stupidity , which branded me as being in " denial " , or something . When does the essential nature of " you " end up outside a window ? When your head passes through ? Shoulders ? Heart ? Torso ? Feet ? It 's a roundabout way of pondering in which part of our bodies lies our nature , or soul ( if you prefer ) ? The easy answer is " if I can close the window and catch part of you in it , you 're not all outside . " The hard question is : if I lose all brain function , am " I " still in there ? This afternoon , I came very close to throwing away the key from my keychain that doesn 't go to anything I own . This is itself so monumental that I have devoted little time to thinking about it , for fear of coming to any kind of revelation and possibly newly knowing something I wish I didn 't . I 'm disgusted by the concept that at the age of 70 , I could have a 22 year old wife and a baby daughter , who may not get her driver 's license before I die . As I write more and more entries , I devote more and more time to trying to figure out if I 've already written about certain ideas . Good thing there 's a search button , and that I predictably use similar words to describe things . Attractive and well - dressed people must have excellent time management skills , because I can 't imagine portioning out more time to looking nice than some people I know . " It takes a lot of guts to stand up in a room and come out in favor of the things that everyone else is against , like peace and brotherFrom the mind of My computer announced to me this morning that a stock I own a few shares of had increased in value a significant amount . Last Friday , the stock closed at $ 63 . 99 per share . This morning , it was traded at $ 637 , 500 per share . This represents a " per share " percent gain of close to 1 , 000 , 000 % . This increased my net worth by approximately 33 , 000 % . I 'm announcing my complete retirement , effective as soon as I can verify this fantastic sum . It 's a testament to the extreme hard work I 've put into the field . FAKE EDIT : It tuns out that the price actually DECREASED to $ 63 . 75 , representing a personal loss . I may need some debt help , after ordering several fancy cars and a great deal of fancy apples from Harry & David . From the mind of German director Werner Herzog visited the production on What Dreams May Come . He toured the sets and agreed to have a cameo . As Robin Williams ' character searches through a Hell straight out of Dante 's Inferno , he comes across the Sea of Faces . One of the faces belongs to this famous director . Herzog was heard to exhort Robin Williams to step on his face harder , which Williams politely declined . " Come on ! " said Herzog . " You could break my glasses , maybe ? " Just the thought of Werner Herzog trying to get Robin Williams to step on his face harder , is the sort of thing that can only be imagined in the context of " Hollywood " . Of course , this is the man who once publicly challenged that if one of his film students , Errol Morris , made a documentary about pet cemeteries , he 'd eat his own shoe . I point you to this . And this . While I was making a road trip earlier this week , I almost got run off the road . Minding my own business , a large Ford truck came up beside me , towing a large camping trailer . He was passing slowly ( his speed was slightly faster than mine ) but I could still see the driver in his passenger - side mirror . So , he passed my Standard Operating Procedure when encountering large vehicles : if I can see the driver , I 'm not hanging out in a blind spot . All this high - minded driving philosophy was made pointless , however , when he decided to come on over into my lane anyway . He was about halfway past me , putting the trailer hitch about equal with my front bumper . I didn 't agree with his choice , but I had to respect his mass . I quickly slid my car halfway out of my lane onto the shoulder , meeting the " rumble strip " . For those of you who don 't know , the " rumble strip " is the highway equivalent of the warning track . It 's a strip of concrete that has been purposefully distressed for safety . When a car drives over it , it makes an alarming noise throughout your car . As I was already alarmed , I didn 't pay it any attention , other than realizing I was just that much closer to ending up in the soybean fields . From behind us , the semi truck behind him must have been paying attention to what was happening , because he laid on his air horn to shake the other driver awake . It worked , and he adjusted himself back into his lane , and I followed after allowing him a safe distance to make sure he wasn 't going to come back and finish me off . In retrospect , I wondered why I didn 't have one of those " near death " experiences . I was certainly tense enough . After the traffic had regulated and I 'd taken several breaths , I flexed my hands on the steering wheel and found out that I 'd been gripping tightly . White knuckle , you might say . I also loosened the vynal coating on the wheel . My only thought at the time was " Here comes that trailer into my lane . " My second thought , very close afterwards , was " I 'd better leave this lane ! " Whenever I 've been driving when baFrom the mind of I 've mentioned the fact that I 've kept a personal journal spanning more than ten years . A friend asked me if it was difficult , making all those entries . Let me address that question . In one sense , it wasn 't difficult at all . I 'm sure somewhere , there 's a blithe answer about it not being difficult to write one entry at a time . That 's the way it works , of course . You don 't write ten years worth at once . You write one single entry . The way I do it , a single entry usually covers a single topic . When I first started , the entries were autobiographical . Much to do made up of where I went in a day , what I did , who I saw , etc . Looking back on them , they seem very clinical . There 's value in those entries , though ; much of the stuff I mention I would have lost to the fog of memory long ago , if it wasn 't scribed into a computer file . Gradually , I moved into a more emotion - concerned style . It mirrored a development in my own personal feelings about issues . Instead of merely reporting what happened , I started to have thoughts or reflections . Eventually , it became promises or outrages . Was it hard to write ? I already mentioned it was easy , so this is the time when I say it was difficult . Putting my emotions down on paper ( or digital bits ) was hard . It turned out I had to acually think about things before I could write about them . I needed to be able to form ideas up enough to at least get them out of my head , if not resolved . It needed to be coherant on paper , so that in the future , I 'd be able to understand what I was feeling . That level of descriptive writing is hard , especially because you don 't know what to include . Is it hard ? It was a particular brand of emotional " squeezing " I wasn 't used to . Too often , whatever large problems I thought I was suffering from tended to feel a lot smaller after I 'd bothered to write them out . They tended to sound like typical adolescent problems , which it turns out they were . You can imagine my brow furrowing in frustration after spending a while typing , only to find THAT out . It 's all completely From the mind of Turns out the fellow I ordered my pizza from tonight is a guy I used to be in Cub Scouts with . If he hadn 't recognized the name on my credit card , I 'm sure we both of us would never have recognized each other . We 've both changed a lot in ten or fifteen years . It was funny , though . In high school , he wasn 't someone I was particularly friends with . We 'd drifted apart after grade school . But this evening , we were friendly and chatty , catching up on old lives and current situations . Funny how time and distance gloss over lots of things , and instead leave you with " How are you doing , man ? " The sincerity was refreshing . People end up in so many different places . Not just physically , but also situationally . I probably haven 't given this guy a moment 's thought in 10 years , but it was nice to see him again . It gave me a sense of satisfaction , somehow , to be able to see someone I know almost nothing about . It 's . . . I don 't know . . . reassuring to see that people 's lives march forward . Imagine a sheet of glass . Pick a point on the glass ; that point represents a single event , a single choice . When you hit the glass with a hammer , it cracks . It fractures and spiderwebs into a hundred thousand cracks . They move outward , change direction sharply , meet other cracks , break off again , etc . Some lead you away from the center , others seem to but end up right back in the center . I 've always imagined every single choice as having a picture like this . With any choice I make , it leads me down one of the fractures . I have no idea where it may end , where it will proceed on its way there . There 's no direct correlation between that image and my friend , but I always seem to feel the idea of meeting an old acquaintances as somehow related to that mental picture . Apparently I need to have both a reality check and a reading comprehension examination . I saw this headline earlier today . " Who tops the Pope 's list of the hottest bachelors ? " See kids , this is what happens when you read quickly , but without the required level of absorbtion . The actual headline is regarding " People " magazine , not his holiness Benedict XVI . Of course , that didn 't stop me from devoting prescious mental energy to figuring out why the Pope would be interested in the hottest bachelors . Unless it 's some sort of " Da Vinci Code " retaliation campaign , possibly asserting that Jesus was still a bachelor , and not hanging out at home with Mary Magdelene . That sounds a little hip for the Catholic Church , though . I suppose I should get used to it by now , but I still hang on to my old habits . I can 't get used to finding out things about people over the internet . To clarify , I 'm not talking about things that people themselves send in emails or other communications directly to me . That I can deal with . It 's the things about people that they may not advertise . Or , they don 't advertise them to ME . Finding someone 's name on a message board and reading what they have to say in a completely different environment than I know them . Or stranger still , when ( almost without trying ) I 'm able to find out more than I suspected about a person . Sometimes * too * much . I 've never had a particularly far - reaching social awareness . I know lots about my circle of friends , but the knowledge drops off dramatically the farther down the " six - degrees " they are . But in the space of approximately 15 mintues , I found three people I know who had recently broken up with their significant others . And remember , this is not something that they personally wrote to me ; just information floating out on the electric current . Should I even know about this ? Sure , they 're putting the information out there , but still , I feel the guilty " tabloid " vibe . * * * *** * * * And now it 's the next day . Hooray for time lapse . What was I even writing about ? I 'm not sure . I know I had an idea going into the entry , but I was interrupted , and now reading it doesn 't provide me any clue . Darn . Perhaps I 'll come back to it in a few days and remember . I 've been on the universities staff / faculty mailing list for a while now . Every week , I get stuff about committe meetings , picnics , seminars , faculty notes , etc . Since the university pays me infrequently ( at best ) , it 's sometimes interesting to see what they 're up to . Occasionally , a notice comes to volounteer time or donate some money . If they would start paying me a salary for doing what I do now , I would gladly donate a portion to whatever . In fact , the more money they pay me , the bigger my contribution would be in dollars ! It 's win - win ! Most of the communications involve lots of hoidy - toidy activities in inaccessible ( for a student ) places . Whenever I read these notices , I can 't fail but to re - experience some of the awe and mystery I felt for the " Teacher 's Lounge " back in grade school . The " Teacher 's Lounge " was this mythical place that the teachers often went when not currently teaching . Sort of a Shangri - La of the suburbs , it called to them while teaching , whispering its sweet promises . I used to wonder what could be so interesting . It must be home to the fabled free soda machine , or maybe a plate of neverending baked goods . I bet they play video games there , too . Anything that might be interesting to a third grader . There 's a lounge at the university , too . I forget what 's on the door , but I do know that all faculty and staff have a key , and they always quickly close the door behind them . What could be back there , I wonder ? Hmmm . . . . Gosh , doubtful . There 'd be more noise and happiness , I 'd think . Cute , but again , not likely . Umm , wow . Although it would explain all the unconscious mice I 've seen in the hallways . . . . This is the one rubber stamp they can never bring themselves to use , no matter how much they may want to . " This one girl wrote a 10 page paper believing ' Mozart ' was a type of fruit ! Please , let me use the stamp ! For the sake of humanity ! " In reality , it 's probably just a few old tables , a microwave , and a fridge with a burned out lightbulb . But where 's the fun in that ? While driving home from the university , my attention went to a fellow standing in a yard along the street . He was standing closely behind a real estate sign in the yard , and appeared to be naked . Luckily ( if anything in this story can be lucky ) , he was wearing some shorts , but totally obscured by the sign . The most bizarre part of this is not that he would choose to stand so close to the sign . It 's that he was using a boxcutter on his bicep tattoo . Perhaps he 'd had a messy breakup with " Brandine " . Obviously , it 's people like this that keep the rest of us safe from alien abduction . If the green men come , they 're definitely taking him first . * * * *** * * * P . D . Q . Bach 's Bach Portait is a fantastic piece of musical entertainment . I encourage everyone to appreciate the marvelousness that is Stephen Foster meets Aaron Copland meets J . S . Bach . " Since , moreover , your Honor has been good enough to take great pains in my behalf , not only in the present instance , but heretofor as well , I acknowledge this with obedient thanks , and assure you that it shall ever be my greatest pleasure to call myself Your Honor 's and my most especially Highly Honored Sir 's most obedient servant , Johann Sebastian Bach " *** *** * * * As an interesting side note , did you know that Peter Schickele ( the aformentioned P . D . Q . Bach ) did the orchestral arrangement of the four marches from Elgar 's Pomp and Circumstance for the Disney movie Fantasia 2000 ? Neither did I . With no purpose in mind , I accidently went through a long - forgotten box in my closet . I 've moved enough that I have boxes which seldom get opened and examined . Instead , they get moved whole from one house to another . In this particular one , I found a CD I had forgotten I owned . A fantastic recording of the Asbury Brass quintet from Chicago . It has one of my favorite pieces , the sextet by Böhme . Beautiful writing . It also has some exerpts of my writing . I had a habit of scribbling down thoughts on whatever piece of paper was close at hand . Some recital programs are saved simply because I scribbled on the edges . I happened upon thoughts I had put down while I was contemplating one of the defining images in my life : a waterfall in Colorado . If I remember correctly , the bottom tier was only about 15 or 20 feet high , so this wasn 't like Angel Falls or something intimidating . I found some letters from an old friend . They 're like journal entries . . . amazing . Every single one has memories attached to it , images , sounds , and smells that have long sense faded from my own mind . Picking up the paper is like opening a chest containing the moment . Folding the letters up again , the images and recollections fade almost as quickly . How bittersweetly wonderful . . . I found a program to possibly the last funeral I attended . One of the first good men I ever met in my life . A man I am still proud of being able to have called ' my friend ' . He was a teacher of mine , but I spent a great deal of time with him away from school , probably more so than any teacher . His funeral was hard . I attended it with a good friend , and it was nice to be able to hold on to someone 's hand when the weight of reality closes in . I still have a picture of him on a bulliten board . In fact , I believe it 's the only picture of a human being I have out in the open in my house , and even this " picture " is from a celebration card they handed out at the service . I don 't oppose pictures , but I seldom got them mounted or given to me as gifts . On a different end of life 's spectrum , From the mind of For your enjoyment , allow me to present one of my favorite optical illusions of all time . In the picture , the squares marked " A " and " B " are the exact same color and luminosity . Placing them next to each other makes them indistinguishable . I enjoy this picture because it is proof of the stubborness of my own perceptions . When I first saw this image , I didn 't believe the two patches were the same color . I loaded the image in a program and literally dragged the first panel next to the second . Identical . I still didn 't quite believe it , so I printed it out and cut them out and placed them next to each other . The same . To this day , when I look at the original image , I still don 't BELIEVE they 're the same color , even though I know and have confirmed that it 's true . Every time , I get the urge to go through the proof again , just to quiet my mind . No doubt there 's some deep psychological principle at work here . . . .
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This is the picture I couldn 't seem to load properly yesterday . It is my bean bed . . . . . no beans in it yet . . . they are coming along in the tunnel . It is too early for them to go out yet anyway . On the LH side of the bed is the bean net support with sweet peas growing up it . I like to grow sweet peas on the same frame as the beans as I like to smell them when I tend the beans . The beans will go in between the peas , on the RH side of the netting as we look at it . I hope that by putting the net at an angle like this the beans will hang inside and be easy to see . . . . that 's the theory . The reason for my putting the bean bed here so close to the tunnel is for the shading it will give at the sunniest time of the year . It wont completely shade it out , but will help . . . . . and it blocks out the view of the tunnel from the living room . I love my tunnel but it isn 't really pretty . I saw some wonderful French iron framed greenhouses at Chelsea the only time I went ( four years ago I think ) . They were beautiful . . . . a sort of light green colour that really looks good in the garden . In the middle of the bed you can see my slug pubs from Lidl a year or two ago . On the right , climbing up the strings are peas . . . Magnum Bonum . My neighbour gave me some seeds and said they climb quite high . . . hence the strings . This morning I have put in 8 different salads . . . . lettuce , rocket , mizuna etc in plate sized circles behind and between the peas . I am hoping the shade of the sweet peas and beans will mean we wont lose the lettuces to the sun ! ! Along the edge I have sown some Calendula . . . Indian Prince . . . . recommended by Sarah Raven . I like to see Marigolds in the veggie garden , they are edible as well as being pretty and they act as companions to so many different veg . I have left space under each support pole for a climbing courgette . I appreciate that they wont climb . . . per se . . . and that I will have to help them by tying them up . I also planted seeds of my pumpkins for the plot . . . . Ghost Rider . They will go in holes in black plastic when they go out in thposted by lilymarlene @ 9 : 59 pm 9 comments As promised I 've taken some photos of the current state of the kitchen garden at home . On the right you can see the deep beds . They are all netted once planted as we have three cats that will sit on them and use them as toilets ! Some of the beds are still acting as holding beds for the flowering plants that were in part of the plot before I made the deep beds , and are still waiting to be moved one to the flower beds which I am still waiting to find time to make ! In the first bed on the LH side , almost out of the picture , are my broad beans . Not very big yet , but we anticipate a good crop . The next bed has the onion sets , shallots and garlic . . The next has cabbages and cauliflowers . There is room in this bed for two climbing courgettes which are coming on in the tunnel . The far right bed has purple sprouting , and brussels so far . It is also waiting for some courgettes . The middle one this side has rows of carrots , sp onions , beetroot and radish . The near bed has some rows of french beans only just one in yesterday and some rows of cut flower seeds which are up but not thinned yet . This picture is of my herb bed . I dug out the further bit this afternoon ready for some new thyme and mint plants I have ordered from T & M . This shows how well my courgettes and squash plants are doing in their paper pots . I made these from newspaper following the ideas shown in Wizers blog . Here you can see the state of my tunnel beds now . The tomatoes are very healthy , the cucumbers not so happy . They are growing but just don 't seem to be thriving . The strawberries are flowering profusely . And the peppers and aubergines in the paper pots are very happy too . The cut and come again lettuce is also growing so we should soon have some to eat . I 've been trying for hours to sort out the phots on this post . . . to no avail ! I have another one whch I 'll do on a separate entry ! A real dashing about day as the dog went to the vets for spaying . I needed to be here for the phone , then when she got back I couldn 't leave her . So I did the back garden instead . I spent the morning preparing the last two deep beds ready for veg . The soil in them was very stony . . . . so as I tickled the soil up with my long handled hand fork I threw all the stones I found onto the paths between the beds . Then on the way to the Vets I went via the garden centre for nets , and black plastic sheets . Then to the builders yard for three 2 " x " 2 poles to make my bean frame . I am setting them in some old metposts to make them solid . I also bought some of that plastic bean and pea net . It is so cheap I can throw it away at the end of the season if I can 't be bothered to clean it of the bines . I probably will clean it though . . . . can 't bear waste ! I will staple it to the 2x2 posts . I 'm not sure what I will support the net along the top with yet . I do have some metal poles that I could fix to the posts , or I might use some old washing line . I intend to grow sweet peas up the framework with the beans . . . for pleasure ! I also buried some seep hose into the long bean bed . This runs from one of the water butts that harvests the rainwater from the back roof of the house . Hopefully that will save me a lot of carting of watering cans ! I really didn 't water my beans enough last year and blame that for my iffy harvest ! I also sowed the pomegranate seeds I bought at Wisley last week . I sowed 12 hoping for one plant ! ! ! Tomorrow DH is out all day so I can 't leave my sad little dog . . . so it 'll be Friday before I get to the plot again . I 'm running out of time for putting in my spuds . . . . . . but I 'll still put them in no matter how late it gets . They 'll help break up the ground and then it 'll get a good digging in the autumn . My tomato plants that I put into the ring culture pots in the beds in the tunnel on Tuesday seem to have doubled in size overnight ! ! They are beautifully sturdy and look healthy . Hopefully they will be good croppers . I have three planposted by lilymarlene @ 3 : 24 am 4 comments Hours at the plot so far . . . . . 33 . Went to put in the maincrop under the black plastic ridges . Sorry . . . . no photos , forgot the camera again ! I was pleased to see that the plastic had not blown away . . . . it had not moved at all . I 'm not sure that it will stay put now though as all the holes I cut in order to put the spuds in allow the wind to get in too ! Two rows done , probably 6 more to go . I seem to get 11 seed potatoes into each row . I need more plastic sheets before I do the next plastic covered bed . I also hoed the onions , shallots and the early potatoes . The soil had panned in the heavy rain , but I had to leave it until I could see where everything is . Now that everything is showing through , I was able to loosen the soil , and did a fair job of hoeing the weeds . I 'll do it better in a few days when I take my swoe down there . . . . . the hoe that the plotters have in their shed , which they say I can borrow , is not very easy to use properly . . . . whereas I am a dab hand with the swoe . I also like to use a very long handled hand fork , like a forked hoe , for weeding as it enables me to loosen the ground to 3 inches deep and then pull out the weeds by hand . As the plot is a fair slope it makes sense to get the rain into the ground before it has a chance to think of running off ! ! ! Earlier in the week I did a lot of work in the polytunnel . The tomatoes are now into their ring culture pots ( all except three ) . The courgettes and squashes had germinated and most are now in paper pots in the greenhouse . I sowed a lot of chamomile lawn seeds in plugs . . . . 49 of them . I 'm hoping eventually to establish lots of chamomile in the pathways between the deep beds to save mowing and strimming the spaces . My blueberry plants , three of them , arrived this morning from the Times offer . They are about a foot tall . . . . I 'm pleased with them . I will grow them to maturity in pots rather than the garden because our soil here is not light enough for them . I will have to buy some huge pots eventually , but at the moment they are in 5 " pots so they have a lot ofposted by lilymarlene @ 1 : 53 am 0 comments Hours at the plot so far . . . . . 31Today is beautiful weather so I went to start on the black plastic lazy beds for the maincrop . I don 't have enough time to dig the rest of the plot properly this spring before putting in the maincrop so I have decided to do the not dug yet half of the plot with this method . Basically I marked 28 " strips ; cut the turves from the outer 7 " of the strip leaving 14 " intact in the middle ; then turned the turves in on the undug bit . The whole row is then covered in black plastic , and the potatoes planted through it . It is not as heavy work as fully digging the plot . . . . but nor is it easy . I am really bushed now . Tomorrow , weather permitting I will plant the two rows I 've prepared today , then do the next two rows . . . . etc . I think I need 8 more rows ! ! ! I pulled a load of rhubarb because the plot holders haven 't touched it and it is now beginning to flower . I pulled off the flower heads and hope that this will mean the crop life is extended a bit . . . . . ! Now I have armfuls of the stuff to cook and freeze . . . . ! Sorry . . . . I forgot to take my camera ! Tomorrow . . . . weather permitting , although they give rain ! Today was spent catching up after being away from home for two days . Shopping and clearing up ! Then I did some front garden weeding , and killed the dandelions on the lawn with something noxious but biodegradable . . . . hopefully ! This afternoon I spent hours on my veggie deep beds at home . I 've planted caulis , cabbages , two types , and prepared the bed for Brussels sprouts and broccoli . I also treated all the veg already planted with some of the blended organic manure that is available at the moment at 3 bags for £ 10 at my local garden centre . Tomorrow afternoon I 'll head for the plot and start on the lazy beds for the maincrop spuds . And I 'll start earthing up the already planted earlies that are beginning to peep through the soil . Here I am . . . . back from Kent ! When I got in I walked the dogs and they led me down through the allotments . . . . where I spotted my spuds coming through ! ! ! ! ! ! How did they know ? I looked back to see when they went in . . . . . 29th March . I don 't know whether that is good or bad but I 'm pleased . Tomorrow I 'll make sure the tops are earthed over because we still can 't guarantee no frosts . . . . . ! I also noticed that the real holders of my plot had used a poison on the grass path . Fortunately they have left my bit alone ! ! ! ! ! But the path looks very ugly now . . . . picture tomorrow weather permitting ! Went to Wisley on my way home to check out their shop and get some more ( ! ! ! ! ! ) books . My favourite is one on French Vegetable Gardens . It is a delight . . . . . full of pictures of French veg gardens and allotments . . . . . . and as you know from my previous posts these are one of my obsessions . The book is very inspiring ! ! ! ! http : / / books . global - investor . com / books / 9831 . htm ? ginPtrCode = 00000 & identifier = Couldn 't find it on Amazon UK . . . . . ! Got some other books which I 'll mention later . . . . and some seeds , dahlia tubers , gladioli bulbs , etc . Had a bit of a spend up ! Hours at the plot so far . . . . 29 ! After spending the morning mowing the front and back lawns . . . . a ) because they desperately needed it , and b ) because I needed some grass cuttings for planting my potatoes , I went to the plot this afternoon to plant my second earlies . . . Kestrel . Four rows ! There was another plotter there who lent me a potato planter . . . . like a bulb planter on a long stem . . . . ! It made the job so easy ! Apparently everyone uses it ! Then I tidied up the compost area by moving the pile of weeds I am producing by the plot - clearing - digging that I am doing at the moment , into the new bay DH made last Saturday . It all looks much tidier up there now . I am away in Kent for two days visiting my mother , so will not be at the plot again until Friday . Then I need to start preparing the ground for the main crop . I am going to do these under plastic using the method advocated on the Allotment DVD . There is a certain amount of digging involved in the " lazy bed " system . Basically you lay a one foot width of cardboard along a row , cover it with manure , cut the turves from either side , turn them over onto the manure , then cover the whole in plastic . After this cut holes for the spuds at the usual planting distance , and push them down as far as you can . No watering , no earthing up . . can 't be bad . Then this autumn I will give it a proper dig ready for next year . This afternoon I spent a while in the tunnel watering and doing other general maintenance . Now I 've had it ! Goodnight ! So . . . . I had my sit down and read a load of blogs . . . . . and suddenly realised that I ought to be sowing my courgettes and squashes . So I just did them in the greenhouse and have put them into the little electric propagators in my sun room . . . . which is north facing . . . . LOL ! I 've sownSquash Pink Banana . . . . a climbing squash I 'm really looking forward to eatingCourgette Tomboncino . . . a climbing courgetteCourgette Rugosa Friulana . . . . a really warty yellow courgette from ItalyCourgette Soleil . . . . a yellow courgetteSquash Blue BalletCourgette Lungo BiancoSquash Patty Pan , Custard whiteCourgette Jemmer . . . another yellow courgetteButternut SquashSpaghetti Squash . I 've sown three seeds of each so I 'll have some to give away . I don 't want more than one of some of them . Now its a question of " Watch this space ! " Hours at the plot so far . . . 27 ! The sun was shining this morning , so we both went to the plot . Me to dig , DH to sort out the compost heap . He has bodged up a huge double one from old pallets and some fence panels we had lying around . He apologised that it didn 't look very pretty . . . . . but I said it was ok as it is , after all , an allotment ! I now have to fork the piles of weeds I 'm digging out of the plot into one of them , and sieve the old compost made by the previous plotters . Later ! ! ! I dug two very deep rows across the plot . I 've now done enough to be able to plant my second early potatoes in there tomorrow . At home , in the deep beds , I 've planted out 25 broad bean plants that I started indoors . They have been hardening off since Saturday , and look very sturdy . I sowed a row of parsnips , transplanted some modules of beetroot , carrots , leeks , onions , mangetout and peas . Then I hoed the onion sets and garlic and shallots so that all looks tidy and professional . I should really be taking advantage of the sun and getting on a bit more but I 've just walked the dogs miles and need a sit with a cuppa ! I might go back down the allotment after dinner for an hour as it looks like staying fine . Hours at plot so far . . . . . 25 1 / 2 ! Spent an hour today digging two more widths of the plot . The picture is of the rocks that are sitting alongside the path . For reference purposes the left hand one is over two feet long ! I was wondering why they were there and found out today ! ! ! ! As I was digging parallel to the stones I kept meeting resistance to the spade and fork . The soil was barely a half spit deep in many places . . . I kept hitting huge slabs of yellow stone . I bent the fork trying to lift one . . . . so gave up on that . I realised that that is why the rocks have been left there . . . as a warning ! I will have to build up the soil in that area over time . meanwhile I 'll beware ! The pink blob , as you will have guessed , is my finger . You wouldn 't think I 'm quite an accomplished photographer ! This photo shows my sweet potato trial . . . . see previous post on this . It has many eyes so I hope they will sprout . I didn 't cover them with water . . . . just halfway up the sides . . . so hope that is right ! This experiment promises to be fun ! ! ! I 'm not sure when I 'll be " plotting " next as we have visitors this weekend . . . . . . perhaps Monday . The heavens opened this afternoon . . . . I was struggling to find a window to walk the dogs even . So . . . . no gardening of any kind ! But tomorrow promises to be ok . . . . . . . we 'll see ! I did watch to see if the gutters were working on the tunnel . . . . . Bingo ! Dentist tomorrow morning . . . . then hopefully an afternoon at the plot ! Metcheck gives a good forecast . Watching the rainfall animation on Metcheck shows what an awful day we have had , but now the UK is almost clear of rain ! Temp should not go below 4deg C . . . good ! And I almost forgot . . . . I asked a friend in the US ( Arkansas ) who has had success growing sweet potatoes , how to do it . . . . . and here are her very specific instructions . . . . . . . " You buy sweet potatoes from the grocery store and slice them in half , lengthways , placing the skin / eyes side down in enough water to half cover the potato . The new ' eye 's have to be in the water to sprout . Once sprouted , place them in potting soil in a tray box for them to finish growing sprouts with roots , Then you gently break each plant off of the mother potato plant and plant in regular garden plot . It takes several weeks to do this . Each sweet potato should make a dozen , or more , plants depending on how many eyes they have to begin with . I think I planted 2 whole rows off of 6 potatoes last year . Be sure to let the new plants grow on the mother potato until they are big enough to safely separate and grow on their own . I usually wait until they are at least 6 inches tall , but did plant a few smaller ones when I was running low at the last row and wanted to get the rows finished . I originally planted sweet potatoes that were already beginning to sprout in some garden potting soil , but they took a long time to grow big enough sprouts to transplant . A lady at Wal Mart told me yesterday that she always put hers in water to sprout so that 's how I 'm going to do mine this year . Of course , if you can buy some older sweet potatoes that 's already starting to sprout , they 'll work much faster . They sure taste good fresh from the garden . The ones that only maposted by lilymarlene @ 5 : 06 am 5 comments Hours at plot since Day 1 . . . . . 23 . I went for two hours today . . . . . just digging . Four widths of the plot . As a picture would just be a virtual repeat of previous pictures I decided to take some photos of the other plots for your entertainment . This one draws lots of comments from other plotters ! ! ! ! ! It is the one just below my half plot . I haven 't seen anyone there yet . . . . perhaps they are waiting for the holiday weekend . At the other end of the spectrum is this little one on the right . . . . . ! The lady who has it has no garden at home and therefore grows flowers and veg on her plot . She gets teased a bit by other plotters but I think they like having her tidy plot as a neighbour ; and she is witty . . . . her flowerpot scarecrow has a winter jacket on . I 'll take another picture of him when I see him sunbathing . The plot holder of this tidy one has just acquired the one next to her on the left , and has begun to work her magic there too . I 'd really like mine to be twee like this , but I have a good enough garden at home , so my plot has to be more business like . Got to walk the dogs now , then take them to the vets for Lulu 's slimming club ! She is almost at her target weight ! ! ! ! Perhaps later I 'll get a chance to do some back garden veg gardening ! Hours at the plot so far . . . . . 21 ! I went late today as I was very busy in the back garden . Firstly I took some photos of the guttering I put up yesterday on the polytunnel . Here is the finished article on the front . And here is a close up to show how I have bridged the gap between the plastic cover curves and the straight gutter . And here is a picture of the back of the tunnel where I have re - used the gutter I had on the front last year but which has bent out of shape . I think it will do the job . . . . and we don 't have to look at it ! ( Someone suggested I do a link to Solar Tunnels . . . . here goes ! http : / / www . solartunnels . co . uk / index . html ) Here is a picture of the inside as I left it yesterday . . . . . ! And after an hours work . . . tidying , potting up , filling watering cans , putting out the brassicas to start hardening . . . . etc . . . it looked like this ! The first bed on the left ( mostly out of shot ) has the spinach from last autumn , some newly planted peas , and a couple of o0dd purple sprouting from last year . The second bed has 3 ring pots waiting for tomatoes . A tray of potatoes chitting . And some trays of paper pots and others with sweet peas , peppers , comfrey , and other things . At the front of the bed are some strawberry plants . . . . already flowering . The next bed was tomatoes last year so I have cucumbers and a melon in the ring pots . In front of them are some leaf lettuce , a courgette and some beetroot , as well as more strawberries . The furthest bed has ring pots ready for tomatoes , strawberries , and some trays of Cara . . . . chitting . The green dustbin holds potting compost . On the bench side of the tunnel there is the Ken Muir strawberry arrangement . Behind that but not really visible is an orange container with worm liquid in from my wormery . . . . . it is wonderful fertiliser . At the far end of the bench is the little mini greenhouse which I shut down if there is a frost forecast as the tunnel is not as warm as a greenhouse . I have my tomato plants in there . . . also some petunias and other flowersThe last picture shows some little yellow spposted by lilymarlene @ 12 : 52 am 6 comments I 've worked myself to a standstill today . . . . in the tunnel and the back garden . . . . not at the plot though , perhaps tomorrow ! I decided I had to get the guttering on the tunnel finished before we get more rain . This involved bridging the gap between plastic cover and gutter on the front , and attaching the old guttering to the back of the tunnel , and bridging that gap too . I also had to clean out the spare water butt for the back gutter . ( I can 't direct both lots of gutter to one butt because it would mean taking a pipe across a doorway . ) It was full of nasty bits from a Blackthorn bush that was in our garden . DH cut it down because it was where we wanted the gate to the back garden . . . . . why he put the bits in the water butt beats me . I now have scratches to show for it ! Anyway , the guttering works . . . . now I need some rain to fill both butts . I also planted the cucumber ( 2 ) and melon plants in the tunnel borders , surrounded with fleece to ensure they don 't chill . Also I put out some leaf lettuce into the tunnel beds , also beetroot that I started in small modules . The sweet pea jiffy sevens were all growing together so I put each one in a toilet roll inner tube with more compost . . . . hopefully that will do for them until I can plant them in my runner bean bed to grow up the framework with the beans . And the peppers and aubergines were outgrowing their small modules so I put them into 3 " pots . Tomorrow I need to tidy up in the polytunnel as I was so clapped , and had to walk the dogs before I collapsed . There is stuff everywhere . I walked the dogs through the allotments , and saw that the lady whose plot I share has been doing her bit . It looks really good . . . . half done ! There were also signs that they had had the BBQ out ! The weather was glorious all day , and I hope tomorrow will be the same . I 'll do another 3 rows of digging if I can . Also I will take some more photos . . . . too tired to bother today . BTW thanks to Greenmantle I have mastered the posting of the links . . . . see right . . . and now my " favourite " blogs are listed here . If I havposted by lilymarlene @ 3 : 28 am 4 comments Didn 't make it to the plot today . I had visitors all day , so even though it was sunny this morning for a while there was no chance of going . We have lots of friends and relatives booked in for the next two months , so I 'll have lots of days when I can 't garden . However , part of the reason for growing the veg is to feed our visitors so I must make the effort . They 'll keep coming if I feed them well ! I did forget to mention yesterday that when I was weeding I found a bit of the dreaded Mare 's Tail weed . I had been wondering what the wiry twisty brown roots were , then I found one with a kind of green cone on it . I was suspicious about it so I asked one of the other plotters and he said it was the dreaded Mare 's Tail ! So it looks like I 'll be doing a lot of hoeing this year . . . . and next . . . . ad infinitum ! Tomorrow doesn 't look favourable weatherwise . . . . but I wont prejudge . . . . just plan to go plotting in the afternoon and see what happens . My DH has a nasty cold so we wont get the compost heaps organised yet . Hours so far at the plot . . . . . 20 1 / 2At last . . . . the weather and the opportunity were right for a plot morning ! DH needed me back by 11 . 15am , but I managed to dig three more widths of the plot . This bit was dug last year judging by the lack of weeds . . . . . just buttercups . . . . no grass . So it wasn 't too bad . The sun was shining , there was hardly any wind , the seagulls were shrieking , the thousands of ducks at the Wildlife Encounter across the valley were bellyaching for their food , a small plane was circling slowly and doing loop - de - loops . . . . . ! All in all a lovely morning ! And I was bare armed too . The elderly chap ( 50 years of plotting ) next but two was grumbling about badger damage to some of his veg . I don 't suppose they would be interested in spuds . . . . . hope not . He said " Woe betide anyone who wants to have sweetcorn up here this year . " Apparently they are very partial . As I had to be at home this afternoon , for the dogs , I have mowed the back lawn . . . . first time this year so not too bad . . . . and it wasn 't horrendously long either . Now I have a full composter . . . . great ! One of the " old boys " at the plot this morning said he understood from yesterday 's Daily Mail that hosepipes will still be permitted on allotments . I 'll have to research that to see if it is true . We have a hosepipe ban already here on the IOW . . . and I understood from someone else that that even includes using a hosepipe for emptying " greywater " from a bath onto your garden . So it would probably apply then to my hoses that link my water butts with my greenhouse and deep bed irrigation . . . . . even though they will only transport my rainwater harvest . ( NB I have just googled and found this . . . . . http : / / www . telegraph . co . uk / news / main . jhtml ? xml = / news / 2006 / 04 / 05 / nhose05 . xml & sSheet = / news / 2006 / 04 / 05 / ixhome . html ) Next visit to the plot . . . . hopefully . . . . Saturday . . . although the weather is predicted to be rain ! Oh dear ! Perhaps it will be a polytunnel day instead . . . . ! I certainly have plenty to do in there too . Hours so far at the plot . . . . . 19 . I went for just a half hour today as everything else just conspired against me . I had to put in the last dozen earlies so that it was off my mind for the next 4 days whilst we have visitors . There is no way I 'll get there again until Thursday , unless I really get ahead tomorrow afternoon and manage to do an hour and a half . . . . . unlikely ! The visitors don 't come until the evening , but I 'm nowhere near ready yet ! Upstairs is done , and the shower room and downstairs guestroom , but the living areas are desperate for a hoovering , and floor washing , and dusting , and the glass doors all have dog nose marks on . . . . . . ! You get the picture . Plus cooking for them . Plus dog walking . I 've worked to a standstill this evening , so now I get to read all the plot blogs ! Bliss ! Yesterday was extremely frustrating . The weather was expected to be good , so I 'd planned a full day gardening and plotting ! It started very very windy , and intermittent rain . So I started in the back garden re - doing the gutter on the polytunnel . I set up the new square profile guttering ( I 'm going to re - use the other flimsy grey stuff on the back where it is not so windy ) and it runs beautifully into the water butt . I cleaned all the old gluey tape from the plastic tunnel cover , and then tried to stick a new length of plastic to the cover . it is needed to bridge the gap between the plastic cover and the gutter . The wind was too much and the rain meant the surface was too wet to stick anything . So I gave up and did some inside jobs . ( We are expecting visitors Sunday evening for4 days and the house is a tip . . . too much time spent digging ! ! ! ) Then I walked the poor dogs miles . They had a very cooped up day Thursday and needed it . We walked through the allotments where I noticed that the area I 'd planted with potatoes and the onion sets is now all panned by the rain ! Hopefully it will dry a bit this afternoon ( sun predicted again ) and I can tickle it up a bit with the hoe . I want to put in the last row of earlies today . . . . . we 'll see ! When I got back from the walk I was so worn out that I couldn 't face the allotment ( anyway I 'd established that it was too wet ) , raided the fridge and settled in knitting for the evening . I should have been ironing but was much too shattered . I think it was the wind ! I watched Gardening World . They were planting their earlies , second earlies AND maincrop all at the same time . I appreciate that it was for a " to chit or not to chit " trail , but still ! ! ! I thought that Rachel de Thame was going to be back this year . . . . I like her , but I also like Sarah Raven , and I was scared we 'd lose her as she seems to stand in for Rachel . . . . but I 'm glad to say she was back ! My husband goes on and on about the way she dresses ( he 's no picture so has no room to talk ! ! ! ! ) but I love her with all her quirky ways . posted by lilymarlene @ 3 : 36 pm 6 comments
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I saw this interview on another blog a while back and saved it till B was old enough to answer some of the questions . I still don 't think he understands the questions ( like what he wants to be when he grows up ) but some of his answers are so cute I just couldn 't wait to try it again . What is your name ? Brenden ( this is how he says Brayden ) . How old are you ? two ( holds up 5 fingers ) Who is your best friend ? Avery & Paige What is your favorite animal ? elephant What do you want to be when you grow - up ? play football What is your favorite Movie ? Veggie Tales What is your favorite book ? Cheerios ( he has a book that you put cheerios on the pictures ) What makes you happy ? God What makes you sad ? When I cry What is your favorite food to eat ? What is your favorite song to sing ? Elmo 's World ( the Elmo song ) ( If you 've not read my other posts on anger , you can catch up HERE ) I finished my book on anger ( " She 's Gonna Blow " by Julie Ann Barnhill ) . I loved it . At times I wanted to laugh along with her . At times I wanted to cry because she stepped on too many toes . And overall I was encouraged . Encouraged because I felt like she wrote about things that I think all the time . Encouraged because now I know that I 'm not the only mom who feels this way . Encouraged because she reminded me that this doesn 't have to be my story . I don 't have to be an angry mom . My outbursts don 't define who I am ; God does . And He makes EVERYTHING beautiful . One of the biggest things I walked away from the book with is the fact that anger is secondary . Most times , anger is not the root of the problem . . . it tends to stem from something deeper . She addressed this at the beginning of the book , and throughout my readings I really started questioning WHY I get angry with my kids ( and let 's be honest , Drew gets a good blow up too sometimes ) . I really soul searched , and in that searching , I came up with these 3 things that I think really are the core to WHY I am " errupting " ( as Barnhill calls it ) . I 'm impatient . Ask my husband , ask my close friends , ask the guy in front of me in the check out counter or behind me in traffic , I 'm a VERY impatient person . It 's not something I am proud of , it 's something I recognize , and it 's something that honestly I think I will struggle with until I bow at Jesus ' feet . What 's ironic is that for the past year I 've been praying that God would grant me patience . The problem with asking God things like that is that he tends to give you homework , not just the answer to the problem . And my homework has been my kids : ) I 'm a perfectionist . This is one of those double edged swords in life . It means that as a type - A personality , I will work my hardest , try my best and want nothing but the best for everything I do . This also means that I will run myself ragged in my pursuit of perfection ( which is vain to begin with , knowing that CContinue Reading » The other day we were playing in the backyard when Brayden exclaimed " WOOK Momma ! " It was an UBER emphatic " wook " , so he caught my attention immediately . And when I realized what he was " wooking " at , I nearly dropped Connor right there in the grass and passed out from a heart attack . I somehow maintained composure enough to get Brayden away from our eight legged backyard guest . And ran and got my camera . True sign of a photog / blogger , right ? ! haha ! Just looking at these pictures gives me the creeps . I wanted to put something next to this so that there was a bit of perspective on how big it actually was . Huge , ginormous , massive . . . all words that come to mind . I named her Charlotte . She was building her web on my child 's playset . So unfortunately , Charlotte had to live a short life yesterday . Yes . You read that right . After Charlotte had her glamor shots in my backyard , she met Jesus . I just couldn 't try to catch her , release her , and then be forever haunted that someday Brayden would find her or her offspring and try to play with them . I know this probably makes me " ungreen " or something like that , but really , spiders just freak me out . Isn 't this the coolest staircase ever ? I thought it would have been a great place for a kid 's portrait to be taken . most of the buildings downtown had some sort of tile work built into the bricks . watching the Hogs we sat outside on Sunday morning at the Cheesecake Factory . It was a bit chilly , and Cari snuggled up to the heater like it was her best friend . I kept giggling about it , so I decided to take a picture so I could remember : ) ( Don 't forget I have a giveaway going on on my giveaway blog . . . today is the last day to enter for a $ 40 Sam 's Club giftcard ! ) Last month when my parents came to visit , Drew wrangled my dad in for a little project on an old table that Drew had when he was a young lad . It 's a cute little table , but it was pretty abused ( apparently the furniture abuse gene that Brayden has runs in the family ) . So I kind of begged Drew to at least do something that would make it a little more blendable with our furniture : ) They sanded , added a few dowels to the chairs ( Brayden even helped his Poppa widdle away on the dowel ! ) , and then stained the table . . . and it looks PERFECT ! Brayden LOVES it , and calls it his " new table . " Here 's some pictures from the process : Ahhh . . . . do you hear that ? What ? Yeah , me neither . That was the sound of me exhaling loudly after my weekend with my girlfriends . A weekend with just us girls , and most importantly : no children . * We left Northwest Arkansas early on Friday morning . My aunt and cousins agreed to take care of my boys while Drew worked a half day at work . She is a gem , for more reasons than just agreeing to watch my babies . Love you Aunt Kelly , Uncle Paul and girls ! The weather was absolutely to die for . . . picture perfect . We arrived in Kansas City around lunchtime and went to eat a cool little burger place called Blanc . It had a really neat , modern atmosphere , and I ate the BEST salad EVER . We hit the town right after lunch . I was kind of a party pooper and dropped out of the shopping early because I was SO tired . Connor 's been waking up at 5am , and I don 't help things by staying up late . So I went back to the hotel by myself , parked myself by the heated pool and laid out and did my bible study . It was so refreshing because no one was there ( well , there was one other lady there , but she was pretty quiet , so it was nice to be able to hear the wind - - not often I can say that - - haha ! ) . We went out to a nice Italian restaurant later that night . After dinner we all went back to the hotel , got in our jammies and watched Bridesmaids . No one else had seen it , which was surprising to me since I had thought it was SO good when we saw it in theaters . We all laughed and then crashed after the movie . . . kind of made me feel old considering that back in college it was nothing for me to watch a movie , have it end at midnight and still feel like the night was young . Saturday we all got up and headed to a local mall . I was in search for a white shirt ( we 're having family pictures made in a few weeks and I still hadn 't found the shirt I needed ) . I found some great deals at baby Gap for the boys , and at the LAST store I visited I was able to find the shirt I was looking for . . . at Penney 's of all places ! Saturday afternoon most of us headed to a big sports bar and grill ( they had 76 televisions . . . if that gives you an indication of the size of this place ) to watch the Hogs game . When the girls arrived ( I had to meet them there since I was shoppiSunday we headed to Cheesecake Factory before we left town . It was my first experience there and I have to say that I am a FAN . My omlette was good , even if it wasn 't the one I had originally ordered ( don 't worry , the manager was awesome and took care of it for me ) . I also split a piece of their apple pie cheese cake . Kind of sounds weird , but oh my goodness , it was TO DIE FOR . After we filled ourselves silly we headed back home . After 3 days I can 't say I was PINING away wanting to get home , but I was super happy to get a big hug from a certain little toddler . And there was a little baby here that was SO happy to see me , that when I put him down so I could get some things done before community group , he cried . Made my heart smile that he missed me so much ( and BOTH dimples were showing if that is any indication as to how big he was smiling when he saw me enter the house ) . I love my boys more than anything . But I needed a mental break so that I can be a better mom . It was SOOOO good to get away with friends , and even more importantly to get some uninterrupted ME time . A BIG thanks to Drew for stepping up and taking care of the boys all weekend . He 's such a good dad , and so supportive of me being able to do things to keep my sanity . I don 't know what I 'd do without him ( and I have to admit that it feels kind of good knowing that he will be able to relate a bit more to me on those long days since he had to do it himself when I was gone ) . I took a bunch of pics when I was there , but obviously since I just got back tonight and had some babies to hug and community group to attend , the pictures took a back burner to other things . I 'll get them uploaded this week and post them soon : ) Hope everyone has a good week ! Remember last weekend when I said that Connor started acting sick ? Well , it came back on Tuesday . With a vengence . Monday night he barely slept . Like , 15 minute spurts was all I could get out of him . Come Tuesday morning he started having diarrhea . Then he was pulling on his ears . I , with my super awesome mother telepathy I had , swore he had an ear infection . So off to the doctor we went , for what seemed like the 1245 appointment we 've had with some sort of doctor over the past month . In walks Dr . R . We 've never seen him before . He was a nice , and Brayden was being unusually compliant and sweet to him , so that was comforting to me . He looked Connor over , and said " yep . It 's a virus . " Ughhh . Fail on the mom telepathy . I was relieved that it wasn 't his ears though . After noticing the rash all over his body , Dr . R said that Connor had a virus that ends in a rash . Some of you may know this as roseola . Apparently diarrhea is a symptom too ( at least that 's what my friend 's whose babies have had this have told me ) , and I would like to say that diarrhea is the worst of it . Poor little Connor has just not been himself lately because his little bum is so chapped . So we 've been doing a lot of airing out lately - - if you catch my drift . . . and hoping that it clears soon . Connor 's illness has left me exhausted and worn out . Even today as I type without a 2 year old begging to see the computer , Connor has screamed most of the morning ( he 's currently content munching on cheerios and bananas next to me . ) This means that I can 't do my usual household chores because I have to calm a sick baby . And while I relish in the rocking and the singing ( especially when it 's just one child to attend to and I don 't have to worry about my two year old doing something life threatening ) , there 's only so much one can handle before hitting the " melting point . " And I feel like I 'm there . I 'm there with a two and a half year old and a 10 month old - - two babies is hard , even if they aren 't twins ! I 'm there with a husband who is working a full - time job and completing an MBA full time ; don 't get me wrong , Drew is a GREAT husband and father and he does everything in his might to do all he can for the family outside of work and school . But work and school eat up much of the time he has , so it 's just not the same right now . I 'm there with family far away and family drama adding to the stress . I ' M THERE . This morning as I was folding laundry and starting to feel sorry for myself , I felt God breathe over me . Not in the literal sense , but I remembered a verse I have memorized , and it made my soul calm : " But he said to me , " My grace is sufficient for you , for my power is made perfect in weakness . " Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses , so that Christ 's power may rest on me . IICorinthians 12 : 9 ( NIV ) So there you have it . I am exhausted and feel as though I am crumbling , but instead of having a pity party over here , I 'm going to blog about it . And boast about it even , if that is possible . The Lord is sufficient . He provides all that I need , whether it be strength to wipe another raw bottom , or energy to chase after an ornery toddler . Thank you Jesus for your sweet , perfect - timing reminder . Well , I was scheduled to shoot his newborn pictures just a few days after he was born , but all hell broke loose with my health and I was in bed for a while due to an apparent kidney infection . Thankfully I peeled myself off the couch 9 days after he was born . These are my two faves from the shoot . Funny story from the shoot : I always have the parents hold a small heater over the baby . It helps keep the baby super warm and ( hopefully ) asleep . Coop was undressed for most of the shoot , and at one point I looked down and he was peeing straight into the heater ! We just had to laugh , and also sigh a little relief that nothing bad happened with liquid going straight into a plugged in electrical equipment ! And finally , right before I left I snapped this shot , and I think it 's so sweet . Paige is such a sweet big sister ! Last night as I crawled into bed and sighed my daily sigh , I realized I had forgotten something very important . " What day is it ? ! " I frantically asked Drew . After checking his watch he groggily said " the 19th . . . why ? " It was then that I knew I had done it . I had forgotten that it was my baby 's 10 month birthday . Thankfully ( I think ) he 'll forgive me . I mean , he looks like a forgiving little fellow wouldn 't you say ? I seriously can 't believe that 10 months ago he was born . I feel like I 've lived a long dream these past 10 months . The first several months , in all honesty , were lived in a fog . I have met or seen several people lately with 19 month olds and I think " wow , they have a BABY still . " and then it hits me . That I had a 19 month old baby . AND a newborn . No wonder I was on the verge of post partum depression . Thankfully God is a gracious God , and I can honestly say that even though these past few months were not in MY plans , they were most definitely in God 's , and I wouldn 't change HIS plans for ANYTHING . Every time I hear Connor squeal , see him smile , or watch him learn or do something new , I just thank God for his little surprise life in our family ( and let 's be honest - - his life was no surprise to the great creator ) . So what is Connor up to at 10 months old ? he 's ditched army crawling and is up on all fours . I also find him screaming for help . . . stuck behind something . I find it mildly amusing and snap pictures instead of instantly rescuing him . . . # 1 mom award , I know . he is in L . O . V . E . with blowing raspberries . Him and Brayden actually have raspberry wars in the car . It 's one of those things that is both cute and incredibly annoying . Takes 2 naps a day , about 1 . 5 hours each . He is in mostly 18 month clothes , although there are a few things that are 12 months that he still fits . Size 4 diapers , although I am contemplating moving him up to size 5 diapers at night since he 's been soaking through the size 4 's at night . STILL has bad reflux . Don 't worry , his doctor knows ( I get so many comments asking me if his doctor knows that I feel like I should put that disclaimer out there ) , and we are working towards making decisions on what to do next . One of these includes a GI test to make sure that we 're not missing anything . I have to say that for the first time in 10 months we are at a point where it 's becoming a frustrating aspect of our lives . And I feel really bad for him because people that don 't know about it , or that know about it and don 't like it , kind of either freak out of keep him at arms distance . Makes me sad that he has to experience that just because of something he can 't control . He is completely off of purees and totally on to finger foods . He loves eating like a big boy , and is hit or miss right now as I try to figure out things that he really likes . He LOVES grilled cheese , yogurt , cheese and turkey deli meat ( and ofcourse , loves Chick - Fil - A . He IS my child ) . He 's a sometimes fan of chopped green beans , and then is hit or miss with everything else - - sometimes he gobbles it up and sometimes he just kind of plays . He pulls up on things now , but not consistently . He is not one of those kids that seems adament to learn new things . I 'm not really that worried about it , since that just means he 's one step ( no pun intended ) closer to walking : ) He 's really not talking much . He 'll babble some , but mainly likes to be an onlooker . He 's a very observant baby . He 's great at playing by himself . The other day while Brayden was at MDO , I was working in the kitchen and realized I hadn 't heard C for a few minutes . I went to the front of the house to find Connor playing happily by himself in Brayden 's room . He 's incredibly cute . Not that you didn 't know that already : ) And in case you need a reminder . . . Oh baby Connor . My Con Con . I love you so much my heart might explode . Thank you for bringing so much joy to our lives . Yes , life with two babies is hard , but I wouldn 't trade you for ANYTHING on this earth . You have taught me so much about myself , so much about God and have made my life so much richer just by your presence . Happy 10 month ( and 1 day - - because your mom 's got mommy brain lately and totally forgot ) birthday little guy ! ~ Momma When I was in college , it was inevitable that in nearly every class that I was in , a football player would arrive late . They have this sort of swagger about them when they walk . Not sure words can really describe it , so I won 't even attempt . But it 's a memory that 's seared into my mind . That swagger walk , with baggy Razorback sweatpants and a white undershirt . People who went to U of A HAVE to know what I 'm talking about . Anyways , fast forward 11 years later . I bought a mini Razorback sweatsuit for our own little football player . And he finally fits in it * . * I am actually really bummed because when I bought it a year ago I didn 't realize that the sweat shirt was mismatched sized from the pants , meaning the sweatshirt is almost too small and the pants are a little TOO baggy . Oh well . Thankfully I got it on clearance . Anyways . When he tried it on the other day I had to chuckle . Because strutting around my living room was my own little lazy football player . Made me think of all of those days in class watching them come in . . . and now I have one . Although , I hope he doesn 't take on the lazy part : ) Well , I finally finished my antique window picture frame . And if I do say so myself , it 's pretty fabulous . Here 's the deal . When . . .
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I saw this interview on another blog a while back and saved it till B was old enough to answer some of the questions . I still don 't think he understands the questions ( like what he wants to be when he grows up ) but some of his answers are so cute I just couldn 't wait to try it again . What is your name ? Brenden ( this is how he says Brayden ) . How old are you ? two ( holds up 5 fingers ) Who is your best friend ? Avery & Paige What is your favorite animal ? elephant What do you want to be when you grow - up ? play football What is your favorite Movie ? Veggie Tales What is your favorite book ? Cheerios ( he has a book that you put cheerios on the pictures ) What makes you happy ? God What makes you sad ? When I cry What is your favorite food to eat ? What is your favorite song to sing ? Elmo 's World ( the Elmo song ) ( If you 've not read my other posts on anger , you can catch up HERE ) I finished my book on anger ( " She 's Gonna Blow " by Julie Ann Barnhill ) . I loved it . At times I wanted to laugh along with her . At times I wanted to cry because she stepped on too many toes . And overall I was encouraged . Encouraged because I felt like she wrote about things that I think all the time . Encouraged because now I know that I 'm not the only mom who feels this way . Encouraged because she reminded me that this doesn 't have to be my story . I don 't have to be an angry mom . My outbursts don 't define who I am ; God does . And He makes EVERYTHING beautiful . One of the biggest things I walked away from the book with is the fact that anger is secondary . Most times , anger is not the root of the problem . . . it tends to stem from something deeper . She addressed this at the beginning of the book , and throughout my readings I really started questioning WHY I get angry with my kids ( and let 's be honest , Drew gets a good blow up too sometimes ) . I really soul searched , and in that searching , I came up with these 3 things that I think really are the core to WHY I am " errupting " ( as Barnhill calls it ) . I 'm impatient . Ask my husband , ask my close friends , ask the guy in front of me in the check out counter or behind me in traffic , I 'm a VERY impatient person . It 's not something I am proud of , it 's something I recognize , and it 's something that honestly I think I will struggle with until I bow at Jesus ' feet . What 's ironic is that for the past year I 've been praying that God would grant me patience . The problem with asking God things like that is that he tends to give you homework , not just the answer to the problem . And my homework has been my kids : ) I 'm a perfectionist . This is one of those double edged swords in life . It means that as a type - A personality , I will work my hardest , try my best and want nothing but the best for everything I do . This also means that I will run myself ragged in my pursuit of perfection ( which is vain to begin with , knowing that CContinue Reading » The other day we were playing in the backyard when Brayden exclaimed " WOOK Momma ! " It was an UBER emphatic " wook " , so he caught my attention immediately . And when I realized what he was " wooking " at , I nearly dropped Connor right there in the grass and passed out from a heart attack . I somehow maintained composure enough to get Brayden away from our eight legged backyard guest . And ran and got my camera . True sign of a photog / blogger , right ? ! haha ! Just looking at these pictures gives me the creeps . I wanted to put something next to this so that there was a bit of perspective on how big it actually was . Huge , ginormous , massive . . . all words that come to mind . I named her Charlotte . She was building her web on my child 's playset . So unfortunately , Charlotte had to live a short life yesterday . Yes . You read that right . After Charlotte had her glamor shots in my backyard , she met Jesus . I just couldn 't try to catch her , release her , and then be forever haunted that someday Brayden would find her or her offspring and try to play with them . I know this probably makes me " ungreen " or something like that , but really , spiders just freak me out . Isn 't this the coolest staircase ever ? I thought it would have been a great place for a kid 's portrait to be taken . most of the buildings downtown had some sort of tile work built into the bricks . watching the Hogs we sat outside on Sunday morning at the Cheesecake Factory . It was a bit chilly , and Cari snuggled up to the heater like it was her best friend . I kept giggling about it , so I decided to take a picture so I could remember : ) ( Don 't forget I have a giveaway going on on my giveaway blog . . . today is the last day to enter for a $ 40 Sam 's Club giftcard ! ) Last month when my parents came to visit , Drew wrangled my dad in for a little project on an old table that Drew had when he was a young lad . It 's a cute little table , but it was pretty abused ( apparently the furniture abuse gene that Brayden has runs in the family ) . So I kind of begged Drew to at least do something that would make it a little more blendable with our furniture : ) They sanded , added a few dowels to the chairs ( Brayden even helped his Poppa widdle away on the dowel ! ) , and then stained the table . . . and it looks PERFECT ! Brayden LOVES it , and calls it his " new table . " Here 's some pictures from the process : Ahhh . . . . do you hear that ? What ? Yeah , me neither . That was the sound of me exhaling loudly after my weekend with my girlfriends . A weekend with just us girls , and most importantly : no children . * We left Northwest Arkansas early on Friday morning . My aunt and cousins agreed to take care of my boys while Drew worked a half day at work . She is a gem , for more reasons than just agreeing to watch my babies . Love you Aunt Kelly , Uncle Paul and girls ! The weather was absolutely to die for . . . picture perfect . We arrived in Kansas City around lunchtime and went to eat a cool little burger place called Blanc . It had a really neat , modern atmosphere , and I ate the BEST salad EVER . We hit the town right after lunch . I was kind of a party pooper and dropped out of the shopping early because I was SO tired . Connor 's been waking up at 5am , and I don 't help things by staying up late . So I went back to the hotel by myself , parked myself by the heated pool and laid out and did my bible study . It was so refreshing because no one was there ( well , there was one other lady there , but she was pretty quiet , so it was nice to be able to hear the wind - - not often I can say that - - haha ! ) . We went out to a nice Italian restaurant later that night . After dinner we all went back to the hotel , got in our jammies and watched Bridesmaids . No one else had seen it , which was surprising to me since I had thought it was SO good when we saw it in theaters . We all laughed and then crashed after the movie . . . kind of made me feel old considering that back in college it was nothing for me to watch a movie , have it end at midnight and still feel like the night was young . Saturday we all got up and headed to a local mall . I was in search for a white shirt ( we 're having family pictures made in a few weeks and I still hadn 't found the shirt I needed ) . I found some great deals at baby Gap for the boys , and at the LAST store I visited I was able to find the shirt I was looking for . . . at Penney 's of all places ! Saturday afternoon most of us headed to a big sports bar and grill ( they had 76 televisions . . . if that gives you an indication of the size of this place ) to watch the Hogs game . When the girls arrived ( I had to meet them there since I was shoppiSunday we headed to Cheesecake Factory before we left town . It was my first experience there and I have to say that I am a FAN . My omlette was good , even if it wasn 't the one I had originally ordered ( don 't worry , the manager was awesome and took care of it for me ) . I also split a piece of their apple pie cheese cake . Kind of sounds weird , but oh my goodness , it was TO DIE FOR . After we filled ourselves silly we headed back home . After 3 days I can 't say I was PINING away wanting to get home , but I was super happy to get a big hug from a certain little toddler . And there was a little baby here that was SO happy to see me , that when I put him down so I could get some things done before community group , he cried . Made my heart smile that he missed me so much ( and BOTH dimples were showing if that is any indication as to how big he was smiling when he saw me enter the house ) . I love my boys more than anything . But I needed a mental break so that I can be a better mom . It was SOOOO good to get away with friends , and even more importantly to get some uninterrupted ME time . A BIG thanks to Drew for stepping up and taking care of the boys all weekend . He 's such a good dad , and so supportive of me being able to do things to keep my sanity . I don 't know what I 'd do without him ( and I have to admit that it feels kind of good knowing that he will be able to relate a bit more to me on those long days since he had to do it himself when I was gone ) . I took a bunch of pics when I was there , but obviously since I just got back tonight and had some babies to hug and community group to attend , the pictures took a back burner to other things . I 'll get them uploaded this week and post them soon : ) Hope everyone has a good week ! Remember last weekend when I said that Connor started acting sick ? Well , it came back on Tuesday . With a vengence . Monday night he barely slept . Like , 15 minute spurts was all I could get out of him . Come Tuesday morning he started having diarrhea . Then he was pulling on his ears . I , with my super awesome mother telepathy I had , swore he had an ear infection . So off to the doctor we went , for what seemed like the 1245 appointment we 've had with some sort of doctor over the past month . In walks Dr . R . We 've never seen him before . He was a nice , and Brayden was being unusually compliant and sweet to him , so that was comforting to me . He looked Connor over , and said " yep . It 's a virus . " Ughhh . Fail on the mom telepathy . I was relieved that it wasn 't his ears though . After noticing the rash all over his body , Dr . R said that Connor had a virus that ends in a rash . Some of you may know this as roseola . Apparently diarrhea is a symptom too ( at least that 's what my friend 's whose babies have had this have told me ) , and I would like to say that diarrhea is the worst of it . Poor little Connor has just not been himself lately because his little bum is so chapped . So we 've been doing a lot of airing out lately - - if you catch my drift . . . and hoping that it clears soon . Connor 's illness has left me exhausted and worn out . Even today as I type without a 2 year old begging to see the computer , Connor has screamed most of the morning ( he 's currently content munching on cheerios and bananas next to me . ) This means that I can 't do my usual household chores because I have to calm a sick baby . And while I relish in the rocking and the singing ( especially when it 's just one child to attend to and I don 't have to worry about my two year old doing something life threatening ) , there 's only so much one can handle before hitting the " melting point . " And I feel like I 'm there . I 'm there with a two and a half year old and a 10 month old - - two babies is hard , even if they aren 't twins ! I 'm there with a husband who is working a full - time job and completing an MBA full time ; don 't get me wrong , Drew is a GREAT husband and father and he does everything in his might to do all he can for the family outside of work and school . But work and school eat up much of the time he has , so it 's just not the same right now . I 'm there with family far away and family drama adding to the stress . I ' M THERE . This morning as I was folding laundry and starting to feel sorry for myself , I felt God breathe over me . Not in the literal sense , but I remembered a verse I have memorized , and it made my soul calm : " But he said to me , " My grace is sufficient for you , for my power is made perfect in weakness . " Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses , so that Christ 's power may rest on me . IICorinthians 12 : 9 ( NIV ) So there you have it . I am exhausted and feel as though I am crumbling , but instead of having a pity party over here , I 'm going to blog about it . And boast about it even , if that is possible . The Lord is sufficient . He provides all that I need , whether it be strength to wipe another raw bottom , or energy to chase after an ornery toddler . Thank you Jesus for your sweet , perfect - timing reminder . Well , I was scheduled to shoot his newborn pictures just a few days after he was born , but all hell broke loose with my health and I was in bed for a while due to an apparent kidney infection . Thankfully I peeled myself off the couch 9 days after he was born . These are my two faves from the shoot . Funny story from the shoot : I always have the parents hold a small heater over the baby . It helps keep the baby super warm and ( hopefully ) asleep . Coop was undressed for most of the shoot , and at one point I looked down and he was peeing straight into the heater ! We just had to laugh , and also sigh a little relief that nothing bad happened with liquid going straight into a plugged in electrical equipment ! And finally , right before I left I snapped this shot , and I think it 's so sweet . Paige is such a sweet big sister ! Last night as I crawled into bed and sighed my daily sigh , I realized I had forgotten something very important . " What day is it ? ! " I frantically asked Drew . After checking his watch he groggily said " the 19th . . . why ? " It was then that I knew I had done it . I had forgotten that it was my baby 's 10 month birthday . Thankfully ( I think ) he 'll forgive me . I mean , he looks like a forgiving little fellow wouldn 't you say ? I seriously can 't believe that 10 months ago he was born . I feel like I 've lived a long dream these past 10 months . The first several months , in all honesty , were lived in a fog . I have met or seen several people lately with 19 month olds and I think " wow , they have a BABY still . " and then it hits me . That I had a 19 month old baby . AND a newborn . No wonder I was on the verge of post partum depression . Thankfully God is a gracious God , and I can honestly say that even though these past few months were not in MY plans , they were most definitely in God 's , and I wouldn 't change HIS plans for ANYTHING . Every time I hear Connor squeal , see him smile , or watch him learn or do something new , I just thank God for his little surprise life in our family ( and let 's be honest - - his life was no surprise to the great creator ) . So what is Connor up to at 10 months old ? he 's ditched army crawling and is up on all fours . I also find him screaming for help . . . stuck behind something . I find it mildly amusing and snap pictures instead of instantly rescuing him . . . # 1 mom award , I know . he is in L . O . V . E . with blowing raspberries . Him and Brayden actually have raspberry wars in the car . It 's one of those things that is both cute and incredibly annoying . Takes 2 naps a day , about 1 . 5 hours each . He is in mostly 18 month clothes , although there are a few things that are 12 months that he still fits . Size 4 diapers , although I am contemplating moving him up to size 5 diapers at night since he 's been soaking through the size 4 's at night . STILL has bad reflux . Don 't worry , his doctor knows ( I get so many comments asking me if his doctor knows that I feel like I should put that disclaimer out there ) , and we are working towards making decisions on what to do next . One of these includes a GI test to make sure that we 're not missing anything . I have to say that for the first time in 10 months we are at a point where it 's becoming a frustrating aspect of our lives . And I feel really bad for him because people that don 't know about it , or that know about it and don 't like it , kind of either freak out of keep him at arms distance . Makes me sad that he has to experience that just because of something he can 't control . He is completely off of purees and totally on to finger foods . He loves eating like a big boy , and is hit or miss right now as I try to figure out things that he really likes . He LOVES grilled cheese , yogurt , cheese and turkey deli meat ( and ofcourse , loves Chick - Fil - A . He IS my child ) . He 's a sometimes fan of chopped green beans , and then is hit or miss with everything else - - sometimes he gobbles it up and sometimes he just kind of plays . He pulls up on things now , but not consistently . He is not one of those kids that seems adament to learn new things . I 'm not really that worried about it , since that just means he 's one step ( no pun intended ) closer to walking : ) He 's really not talking much . He 'll babble some , but mainly likes to be an onlooker . He 's a very observant baby . He 's great at playing by himself . The other day while Brayden was at MDO , I was working in the kitchen and realized I hadn 't heard C for a few minutes . I went to the front of the house to find Connor playing happily by himself in Brayden 's room . He 's incredibly cute . Not that you didn 't know that already : ) And in case you need a reminder . . . Oh baby Connor . My Con Con . I love you so much my heart might explode . Thank you for bringing so much joy to our lives . Yes , life with two babies is hard , but I wouldn 't trade you for ANYTHING on this earth . You have taught me so much about myself , so much about God and have made my life so much richer just by your presence . Happy 10 month ( and 1 day - - because your mom 's got mommy brain lately and totally forgot ) birthday little guy ! ~ Momma When I was in college , it was inevitable that in nearly every class that I was in , a football player would arrive late . They have this sort of swagger about them when they walk . Not sure words can really describe it , so I won 't even attempt . But it 's a memory that 's seared into my mind . That swagger walk , with baggy Razorback sweatpants and a white undershirt . People who went to U of A HAVE to know what I 'm talking about . Anyways , fast forward 11 years later . I bought a mini Razorback sweatsuit for our own little football player . And he finally fits in it * . * I am actually really bummed because when I bought it a year ago I didn 't realize that the sweat shirt was mismatched sized from the pants , meaning the sweatshirt is almost too small and the pants are a little TOO baggy . Oh well . Thankfully I got it on clearance . Anyways . When he tried it on the other day I had to chuckle . Because strutting around my living room was my own little lazy football player . Made me think of all of those days in class watching them come in . . . and now I have one . Although , I hope he doesn 't take on the lazy part : ) Well , I finally finished my antique window picture frame . And if I do say so myself , it 's pretty fabulous . Here 's the deal . When . . .
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This is the story of a scoundrel , a trickster monkey and an Internet dating service . It will take us from the highest of heavens to the depths of modern day suburbia . It is a story of capitalism , wayward monasticism and redemption . But most importantly , this is a story of father who never stopped loving his daughter . Xiao Yi , or " Little Yi , " was so named not for his diminutive stature ( for he was of average height ) . Nor was he called little due to his for a slight frame ( for he had always had enough to eat ) . He wasn 't even known as Xiao Yi because his father was also called Yi and therefore known as " Great Yi " or " Yi the Elder " for Xiao Yi was the only member of his family in any generation to carry the name Yi . Rather , he acquired this moniker based on his reputation for being a man of little moral fiber . Xiao Yi was feared by fathers , scorned by mothers and generally avoided by young men with even a vague sense of right and wrong . Shopkeepers would close their doors as Xiao Yi walked down the road . Holy men who crossed his path muttered prayers under their breath so that his soul might someday be redeemed . Mapmakers would give him free maps that illustrated the quickest way out of town . Everyone in the village asked , " What has happened to make Xiao Yi such a nasty man ? He steals . He drinks . He philanders . What mother could love such as son ? " " Not me , " proclaimed Yi 's mother . " I have tried everything , but this man is rotten to the bone . He has shamed our family and led his father to an early grave . He 's been intimate with the most unsavory ladies , and now he 's blighted the reputation of the purest and finest girl in our village . " It was true . Ladies had always fallen for the way Xiao Yi could roll a cigarette without taking his eyes off them . They were mesmerized by his crooked smile and the way he so freely laughed at their jokes . One by one then two by two , all the girls had fallen into Xiao Yi 's bed with one very noticeable exception . For years , Xiao Yi had had his sights on Soo - An , the most beautiful treasure he had ever seen . And for almost as many years , she had resisted his advances . This spring , during an unusually violent storm , Soo - An had taken shelter in Xiao Yi 's arms . And now it was obvious that Soo - An was expecting a child . The town shook with fury at the very notion that Xiao Yi had taken away their fairest daughter . Soo - An 's now walked through the village with a heavy heart and eyes wet with tears . " Poor Soo - An , " said the villagers . " We did not protect you from the Evil Xiao Yi . How could we have failed you so ? " But Soo - An took no comfort from their words . When he heard news of the pregnancy , Yi began to think about the wayward life he had led for so many of his days . He loved Soo - An and it pained him to see her tears . And so , Xiao Yi , vowed to make things right . " Please , " he begged to anyone who would listen , " I just need to go to the city to earn money for the baby . I will make my fortune and bring it back for Soo - An . " At first , the townspeople scoffed at his request . But soon they had gathered a small fortune knowing full well that a man like Xiao Yi could not be changed . They presented Xiao Yi with the money for they knew he would be sucked into the depths of the city , never to return . The mountain shook so violently that day that the egg pummeled down the side of the mountain . It cracked and shattered as it fell to the forest below , leaving fifty thousand eggshell gemstones in its wake . When the remnants of the egg finally came to rest on the forest floor , out popped a being nourished which was nourished by the elements for nearly a century . This was no ordinary egg , for it contained no bird or lizard . It held a young Monkey . Monkey grew to be wise and clever . He learned many lessons in the forest where he made his home , but there was one question that pestered him . It plagued his dreams and became his greatest obsession : What would make him live forever ? " I 'm afraid my little ones only make me very tired , " Rabbit yawned as four or five little ones clambered up her back . " Perhaps you should ask the Sequoia . She is the tallest tree in the forest and everyone knows that she has lived a long time . " " The creatures who call my branches home know that have stood here for many of their lifetimes . And though I am gnarled and burned and scarred , I will stand here for many more years to come . But someday I will die . " " Do not be discouraged , Monkey , " said the aged tree . " There are many things on this earth that have lived longer than me . Why don 't you climb my branches to see if you can find someone else to ask ? " Perched high on the mountain that first gave life to Monkey , he saw a great boulder . " Ah ha ! " said Monkey . " Stone is more ancient than a tree . This great rock can tell me what will make me live forever ! " " Oh Monkey . I do not have an answer for you . Some day a great flood will come . I will be washed away or carved to pieces . Even I cannot live forever . " Monkey was growing impatient , " Stone . You have been around for a long time and have seen many living beings in the millions of years you have stood on this earth . Tell me who knows how I can live forever . I must speak to them ! " The Stone wondered how this impatient Monkey could endure an infinite lifetime . " The answer you are seeking must be answered by a most wise counselor . I once met a great Sage with a tremendous knowledge of the earth and heavens . If he does not have an answer to your question he will surely be able to prepare your mind so that you may find it yourself . " " He was headed towards the south - southwest , but I do not know where to find him . He is the wisest being I have encountered , and he can teach you many things . But it will take a long time . " " He stands 20 feet tall . Shimmering white , he glows like a fire but emits no heat . His brows and beard are blue with age and his face is wrinkled like a smiling prune . He is called Subodhi . " The stone called out , " Be patient . Having lived so many years , I can assure you that time is in no hurry . " But Monkey did not hear . He had already set off to find this wise prophet . Xiao Yi did make a fortune in the city . He labored for many months but he soon fell back into his old ways and squandered his entire fortune . " Please forgive me , Soo - An , " prayed Yi as he used the last of his money to buy a one - way bus ticket back to their village . Yi arrived home penniless , though not empty handed . With difficulty , Xiao Yi had smuggled an unlikely prize won during his latest bout of gambling . Thus , when Soo - An opened the door , she saw the Xiao Yi with his crooked smile and two baby bears in his arms . Those familiar with the biodiversity of this region of China will note that acquiring one baby bear anywhere in the vicinity is about as likely as a monkey hatching from an egg . Managing to get two baby bears in this corner of the world is almost as difficult as keeping two cubs tucked into the lining of a woolen coat for the duration of a six - hour bus journey . Yi knew that winning the bears was only going to be the first stroke of good fortune . The shock of seeing her lover returned along with the woolly cubs was too much for Soo - An to bear . She doubled over in with the pains of labor , and , after much difficulty , Soo - An gave birth to a baby girl . The baby was beautiful and healthy . Yi and Soo - An called her Mei Yu . But Xiao Yi , Soo - An and their new baby were not destined to live happily ever after . Soo - An became feverish . She died just a few days later . There were those who believed that she died of a broken heart . There were more still who believed that Yi returning empty handed had caused her to die of grief . And there were those who believed she died of septicemia . Xiao Yi did not have time to consider the reasons behind Soo - An 's death . Yi was afraid . So , for the first time in his life , Xiao Yi offered a sincere prayer to the heavens . " I have let down everyone in this world and now the woman I love is dead and the child who I love more than life is motherless . I have three very hungry mouths to feed . I am scorned all throughout the village for bringing such misfortune to Soo - An . Help me , please . " Xiao Yi 's life was so full that he had not even had time to offer thanks for the blessings he had been granted after his first prayer . Through most of the year , he spent long days working to offer a good life to the kind and gentle daughter and two fully - grown brown bears . Every night he returned to a home filled with laughter as Mei Yu sang songs and told secrets to her two lifelong friends . When the winters came and the bears began their hibernation , Yi stayed with Mei Yu , tending to the every whim of his bright - eyed little girl . Though isolated from the rest of the village , this unusual family of four could not imagine a more suitable way of life . The time had come for Mei Yu to go to school . Yi held her hand as they walked down the road towards the schoolhouse . Along the way he overheard the gossip and whispers of the townsfolk . Yi held on tightly to Mei Yu 's hand as she skipped down the lane , waving at all the people they passed . Yi knelt down when they arrived at the schoolhouse and kissed Mei Yu on the cheek . " My beautiful daughter , " he said . " I am very proud of you , and I know that you are excited to learn new things here at school . However , there may be people here that say unkind words to you because your father has not always been a very good man . " Later that day , Yi waited outside the schoolyard for Mei Yu . He watched as families greeted each other in the warm September sun . All the children poured out of the school and into the arms of their loved ones , but his beloved Mei Yu was nowhere to be seen . The school 's headmaster crossed toward him , " Sir , I will need to speak you in my office . " Yi felt his stomach drop . " It 's too late to protest now . My officers should be returning any moment now . And if there are bears in your home as your daughter claims , I will be forced to take you into custody for the reckless endangerment of a child . " That night Xiao Yi made his second prayer from the cold concrete floor of his jail cell . " Please , " wept Yi , " I must find a way to be with my daughter again . I will do anything to be back with Mei Yu . Grant me wisdom . Mei Yu , forgive me . " Xiao Yi awoke to find that he was no longer lying on the unforgiving concrete in the holding cell . Instead , Yi was on the mossy floor of an ancient mangrove . An old man , perhaps 20 feet tall , with a flowing blue beard and bushy blue brows stood akimbo before him . " Ah , Princess Sleepyhead finally wakes up ! " said the old man . " Ah , yes . If I remember to listen carefully , the universe will usually help me to find exactly what I need . Right now , dear sir , I am in need of someone like you . " " Yes you . You will be working for me . And as payment for your services rendered , I will help you get back to your darling Mei Yu . " Yi , stunned , was silent . " Ah , sir . You drive a hard bargain . I will grant you two favors , then . I 'll help you set up a good home for the bears . " Well , I certainly don 't want to see them going to some bile factory where they 'll be abused , mangled and made retarded . Those are two of the finest , best - behaved bears I 've ever seen . We 've got some time for that . There 's a whole lot of red tape when it comes to using animals as evidence and the officers are all fighting for the privilege to sell them on the black market . " " See . It 's more complicated than that . I am in need of a delivery person who can courier things to me through both time and space . " " There you go , freaking out about this already . Let me tell you , it 's no cakewalk , but it can be done if you are willing to learn . Your impending reunion with your daughter will motivate you , Yi . " " Nonsense . What you need is a nice Hostess Twinkie . It 's the only food that can travel through time and space . Monkey said they could last through what the Christians like to call , ' Armageddon . ' Eat up . Our lessons begin tomorrow and you 'll need your energy . " " Ah yes . Your first lesson is to understand why I have chosen you to be my courier . The simplest answer is that I need you to help me pay off Buddha so he will release Monkey . " " Well , you 're about the same size and shape as Monkey . That means I don 't have to recalibrate my formulas for getting you to where I need you to go . Monkey used to travel for me because , although he was a monkey and not a man , he fit in to society a little better than a giant glowing monk . " " Monkey is my pupil . Though Monkey was smart and clever , I have taught him a great deal about the powers of his mind and spirit . He has learned many things from me , including the Art of Tao , 72 different polymorphic transformations , and time travel . After many hundreds of years under my tutelage , Monkey is a great warrior , and his powers have grown to match all but the mightiest and most enlightened Gods . " Alas , Monkey is proud and impatient . He 's also easily bored . One day , Monkey climbed up to heaven and learned of a Peach Blossom Banquet that was being held to honor the Queen Mother of Heaven on her birthday . When Monkey found out that he was not invited to the party , he became angry , and bribed the fairies so they would let him into the banquet hall . " " It wouldn 't have been a big deal at all , but monkey decided to eat the entire banquet of magical peaches by himself . When the Queen Mother heard that her party was ruined , she sent her army to kill Monkey . This might have worked , since I have yet to teach Monkey the secrets of immortality , but the magical peaches gave him strength . When Monkey was attacked he killed ten thousand heavenly guards . Anyway , I was feeling a little guilty since I had not yet taught Monkey the secrets of eternal life and there is a small chance that Monkey won 't make it for the next 5000 years without that lesson . The secret of immortality is the carrot I dangled before Monkey so he would keep learning the primer lessons . It 's the very reason he spent 500 years roaming the forest to seek me out as his great teacher . Now that he 's almost ready for the answer to his lifelong question he 's stuck in the hand of Buddha . So , I asked the Buddha what I could do and sort of hinted at the fact that I may be coming into a bunch of money . " You have learned well , Yi . I am impressed , Big Guy . Now it is time to learn of your tasks in this trip to the future . I am sending you to a suburban community outside of San Francisco . The year will be 1985 . You will arrive sometime in the fall . The most important thing to remember is to do follow every single direction to a tee . If you do not do this on your first mission , there will be no second and third mission and that means no reunion with Mei Yu . " " Now , when you materialize on the other side , do not be confused . All of the houses in this community look exactly the same and they are painted in 5 different shades of beige . Look for the pinky beige house with the lucky red door . " It is significant but it is nowhere near the amount of money I have promised to Buddha . Take your lotto tickets around the corner to a store called Wally World . Go to the cosmetics counter and ask for a girl named Po because she speaks real good Chinese . Tell her you are Monkey 's cousin and ask her to help you claim the lotto ticket . Then , solicit her help in opening up a series bank accounts that collect compound interest . Give Po 10 % of the lottery money for her assistance . You may give her more if she tries to barter , but no more than 18 % or we are ruined . Use some of the money to cover your living expenses and to subscribe to both the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times . Yi 's first journey to the future went according to plan . He was even pleased by the progress he had made in learning the English language . Before long even understood many of the jokes on TV programs like Cheers and The Cosby Show . When Yi finally returned to the mangrove , he presented his wise counselor with two gifts : a life - size cut out of David Lee Roth and a bottle of Coppertone Sunscreen . " Teacher , I read about this lotion Ladies Home Journal . This ointment will protect your fair skin from the harmful UV rays produced by the sun . " Ah , thank you , Yi . This will serve me well . And now , are you prepared for your next journey ? For tonight you 're going to party like it 's 1999 . " Yi 's second journey occurred without incident . He withdrew his lotto winnings from the bank and sold off his entire portfolio of Microsoft . Then , just as instructed , Yi used all of the profits from the now sizable fortune from his lotto winnings to invest in a young company called Google . The note 's instructions were simple : SELL IT ALL AND GIVE THE BEARS TO YOUR HIPPIE EX - GIRLFRIEND . IT IS OCTOBER 31 , 2007 AND GOOGLE IS OVER $ 700 PER SHARE ! ROFLMAO ! " Rolfmao ? What does that even mean ? " Yi asked his hippie ex - girlfriend as he dropped of the bears in their new home on 500 sprawling acres of Kentucky grassland . But Xiao Yi never heard her reply . He was already floating through the ether to a place many miles away and many years ago . Yi was finally on his way home to greet the young girl he loved so much on her very first day of school .
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When we first got married , my husband only wore J . Crew , only bought home goods from Pottery Barn , kitchen appliances only from Williams Sonoma , etc - you get the point ? He knew he had a conservative yet preppy style , and it worked for him . That is until we started living day - in - and - out together and I opened up his horizons to Nordstrom , Anthropologie , Urban Outfitters , Target , Thrift Stores , Antique shops and so much more ! I guess you can say I 'm a little " eclectic " ( def : one who uses a method or approach that is composed of elements drawn from various sources ) . It goes with my free - spirited personality . My husband reigns me in to make sense of it all . Needless to say , Joe 's one - stop - shop method got opened up to a whole new horizon when our family outings included shopping in San Francisco . He never knew you could have so much fun shopping in San Fran until he met me ( I 'm taking credit for his now amazing sense of style too ) . God sure knows what he 's doing when he puts people together , right ? He did with us . We bring out the good in each other . Back to purging - so we have been married for 5 years come March and our home represents that morphing and meshing of styles . ( I 'll have to do a post to show picts of our home later . ) As the days go by , we have started accumulating items that we would say are more " us " now instead of " him " or " me " and with that comes the need to purge our home of the " him " and " me " items ( even though I 'm better at purging the " him " items - ha ) . [ Side note : he 's now glad I saved my 6 cheerleading uniforms ( which have gone through 3 moves ) cause Izzy got to wear my cheer vest from 7th grade for halloween this year ! Glad I didn 't give that one up - but I know he 's waiting for the day when I get rid of my urban outfitter comforter from my college days - it 's still sitting in our linen cabinets - confession : I can 't do it ] So , we go through rooms and start picking items that have been bugging us for a while . The biggie on this list was our dining room table . Joe bought it with me in tow while we were engaged and I let him do his thing . We got a great table that fit in " our " soon to be home and it worked . Fast - forward almost 5 years and that table we loved which has seen many family dinners , and carries great memories - sticks out like a glove in our dining room which is the first thing you see when you walk in our door . So , we decided our Christmas family gift ( we always try to do one big family gift a year , typically a home item ) was going to be a new dining room table . The only way to make that happen is to make space for the new one ( which I 'm super excited about - again , I 'll have to do another post on that later ) is to get rid of the old . We posted the table for a great price and it sold in one day to a lovely family who just had a little baby named Jude and they thought Judah was pretty cool . Good memories of the train table , but glad it 's gone . Next item to go , was our well - loved Thomas the Train table . I originally bought it for my train - lover little man off of craigslist for $ 50 and we sold it to a lovely family for $ 100 ( I pretend I 'm a wheeler and dealer ) making a profit of $ 50 . We are redoing our playroom and that train table ( though well - loved ) took up too much space , plus we have to make room for Christmas gifts that they will obtain from family members who think they are the world . There were a few more exchanges of other random items we had laying around the house that haven 't been getting much love , so we sold them , put a little cash in our wallet , and became content with what we have been blessed to acquire . It feels really good to get rid of things ! Try it sometime . Everyday Desire : 1 . After writing this I realized I 'm not taking enough pictures in this season of my life . I need to take more photos . I think blogs are more interesting to read with great photos . . . do you ? Grateful for MOPS . . . Honestly , if you asked me a year ago , I never would have even considered attending a MOPS ( Mother 's of Preschoolers ) group , let alone lead one . I guess you can say , God has bigger plans ( if you believe in the spiritual stuff - which I do ) . I heard the name thrown around a few times here and there , but never took the time to really see what it was all about . That is until my aunt hooked me up with Elizabeth ( who is very involved in a MOPS group at another local church ) and she wanted to introduce Capital to this awesome organization and reach more moms with a deeper connection . I really believe our meeting opened my eyes to see things a little differently . Then , upon her invitation , I actually attended a meeting and really got something out of it . My background with moms started when Judah was 6 months old and I had to get out of the house . I wanted friends that desired the same thing and thought maybe our kids could be friends , and then maybe we could talk about mom stuff and have an outlet for stir - crazy days . Capital MOMS was birthed at that time and since we have been going strong , yet hearing the need and desire for more mom time . I love the women I 'm surrounded by ! I love seeing God birth creativity and passion to reach moms with hope , deeper relationships , and making sure no one gets left behind . The PLUNGE them couldn 't be more perfect for our semester launch either - because we are doing just that - we are diving in , all the way , submerging ourselves to gain a better understanding of God , taking some extra breaths ( a little time away from our kids because there is childcare ! ) , eating some good food , and going deep with moms in our community ( not just at Capital - we want to reach moms everywhere who need the break and encouragement ) ! Today , looking ahead to this week of Thanksgiving , I 'm grateful for MOPS and for our leadership team that has Plunged with me to make a difference in our community . I 'm grateful that moms trust us with their time and children and show up each week . I 'm thankful . is a wife , mother of three , and a teacher at Capital Christian High School . Talk about experience . She 's got it . I don 't think I 'm speaking for myself when I say I walked away with some great goals and reminders ! I hope ( if you weren 't able to make it ) that you find this somewhat helpful or encouraging . How long , Lord ? Will you forget me forever ? How long will you hide your face from me ? 2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart ? How long will my enemy triumph over me ? 3 Look on me and answer , Lord my God . Give light to my eyes , or I will sleep in death , 4 and my enemy will say , " I have overcome him , " and my foes will rejoice when I fall . Sometimes being a mother of little babies / preschoolers can feel lonely . We have to choose to believe the Word of the Lord . We can get stuck in a cycle of " assumicide " or " presumiscide " - presuming things about others and it just kills / drains us . We don 't know what 's going on in the lives of our friends . Don 't live life alone . When we catch ourselves going down that road , grab a friend and God 's word and begin to pray the scripture . We need freedom ( and have to give the freedom to others ) to not be perfect . You will have more freedom when you aren 't comparing yourself to another . The way to get back on track is through prayer and time with God . Even if you 're prayer conversations sound like this sometimes : Interesting Conversation with God . Author - Unknown , from a forwarded email ( Mary says sorry she can 't find the author 's name ) Me : God , can I ask you a question ? God : Sure . Me : Promise you won 't get mad ? God : I promise . Me : Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today ? God : What do you mean ? Me : Well , I woke up late . God : Yes . Me : My car took forever to start . God : Okay . Me : At lunch they made my sandwich wrong and I had to wait . God : Hmmm . Me : On the way home my phone went dead just as I picked up a call . God : Okay . Me : And on top of all that , when I got home I just wanted to soak my feet in my new foot massager and relax , but it wouldn 't work ! ! ! Nothing went right today ! Why did you Well , let me see . The Death Angel was at your bed this morning and I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life . I let you sleep through that . Me : ( humbled ) : OH . . . GOD : I didn 't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road . Me : ( ashamed ) God : The person who made your first sandwich today was sick and I didn 't want you to catch what he has . I knew you couldn 't afford to miss work . Me : ( embarrassed ) : Ok . . . God : Oh , and that foot massager had a short that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight . I didn 't think you wanted to be in the dark . Me : I 'm sorry God . God : Don 't be sorry , just learn to trust me in all things , the good and the bad . Me : I will trust you . God : And don 't doubt that MY plan for your day is always better than your plan . Me : I won 't , God . And let me just tell you God , thank you for everything today . God : You 're welcome , child . It was just another day being your God , and I love looking after my children . Mary shared about her experience with her daughter ( now almost 29 ) being diagnosed at 2 1 / 2 years old with leukemia while being pregnant with her second child on the way . How do you handle a situation like that ? She explained how she was just grateful that she knew God . She remembers sitting on her mom 's couch and crying and just thanking God that she knew Him already - because He would carry her through this situation . ( I 'm not so sure I would have reacted the same way ? ? ) She asked the question - Who 's kids are they ? They are God 's . Laura is still an amazing testimony of God 's grace , miracles , and His strength . She battled 2 brain tumors this summer and recovered well and is teaching at the preschool . You would never know or guess her struggles - but God is greater . God has carried their family through . Reminds me to be grateful for God 's blessings and thank Him daily for good health ! We have the ability to parent from a place of FEAR or from a place of VICTORY . When we parent with victory , there is much more freedom , less tension and joy ! We also must remember to cultivate the fruits of the spirit in our own lives . We can 't say " be kind " to our kids while we are constantly nagging our husbands . We have to practice what we are teaching . We can 't make our kids love Jesus . We have to be real and live it our inf front of them . When we live from a place of love , joy , peace , patience . . . they will want to experience what we have . Above all , we need HIM ( period ) to live . Pray the scripture over yourself and your kids . You are praying the will of God over them when you prays scripture - because it 's HIS Word . Not only should we pray for our own kids , we need to be loving and praying for our friends children as well . God gave the example of leaving the 99 for the 1 who was struggling - it 's the same with us today . When we see someone struggling - let 's lift each other up in prayer . Prayer is the answer to everything . Pray with your kids . Inspire them by asking questions . Ask them to think of 3 great things that happened today and thank God for it . ( It 's ok if they say they love the blue sky - encourage them - God created that - it 's beautiful as part of his creation - encourage them in the simple things - it 's a start ! ) Praise God . Give him Thanks . Tell God if you are anxious about something . If you are worried or nervous . Also - be quick to apologize . They learn repentance from us . It softens the home when we are willing to admit we messed up or made a mistake . Sorry for the long blog . There were just great notes from our time together . Again , hoping you can gain something from this . Let me know what you took away from the brunch ! K . I . S . S . I . N . G . first comes love , then comes . . . So in my everyday search on Pinterest , I came across a blog that referenced the idea of making sure you kiss your husband goodbye for work every morning . If you know me , I 'm sold when you say the word " kiss . " I had to convince my husband that it was a must though which is why this particular blog stuck out to me . They gave statistics . A man is more successful in life when given a kiss in the morning . I guess this idea has been going around for a bit , but I just discovered it . 5 . Kissing husbands start off the day on a positive note , are less moody So , my challenge to you today and everyday , make sure to kiss your husband goodbye ! It 's good for the soul and your marriage . I mentioned in a previous post that I joined my neighborhood bunco group . We each get the joy of bringing an appetizer to the party each month . If you know me , you know I HATE to cook . I know hate is a strong word , but it strongly describes my love for cooking . Well , Pinterest has become my best friend while trying to come up with ideas for lovely things to create . I think the only bonus of this whole deal is that my family is enjoying the new creations as well . They are my tester audience . I limit myself a little too - to what I have in my kitchen on the day of the test . This time around it was lettuce and chicken . I found an awesome pin about recreating P . F . Changs lettuce wraps ( click for the original recipe ) and was bummed when I realized I didn 't have all the ingredients . Then I decided to challenge myself to create something as close to the recipe as I could and pray it turned out edible . Well , not only was it edible , it was quick and easy - and uses most ingredients that I keep stocked in my kitchen . Ingredients : 1 . 2 Tablespoons Yoshidas Sweet and Savory Cooking Sauce ( I buy it at Costco cause we use it so much ! ) Turn the heat down to medium - high . Add another tablespoon of olive oil to the pan , and then add garlic , onions , and the stir - fry sauce you prepared earlier . Stir - fry everything for about 4 minutes , and remove to a serving dish . We were privileged to host my Aunt Joanne at the last Capital MOMS brunch . She is a wife , mother of four , grandmother of one and our Women 's Ministry Director . Talk about experience . She 's got it . I don 't think I 'm speaking for myself when I say I walked away with some great goals and reminders ! I hope if you weren 't able to make it , that you find this somewhat helpful or encouraging . Here is a little recap from my perspective . If you attended and got something else I didn 't include , please share ! I love how God speaks to each of us in different ways through different people . What would you have done differently as a young MOM ? 1 . Take more time for yourself . If you don 't cut out the time for yourself , nobody else will . You need some alone time to keep sane . And when talking about alone time ( this doesn 't include 1 minute in the bathroom with kids banging on the door ) . Get a hobby . Find something that inspires you . Speaking for myself here , I forced myself to join a neighborhood bunco group that meets once a month for some me time . My husband agreed to the terms before I threw it upon him , but each Monday when I get to escape - I feel a little more peaceful . It doesn 't hurt that I 've taken home some extra cash almost every time too . Maybe that 's God 's way of telling me I 'm doing the right thing by taking some time for ME . ~ Time for yourself even includes time with God . Don 't set unrealistic goals . Try a Proverb a day . If today is August 2 - read Proverbs 2 . Proverbs is the book of wisdom . 2 . Laugh more ! Not everything in life has to be serious . Yes , you are shaping your little kids minds and challenging them to grow each day , but it 's ok to laugh in some moments that could make you cry . I loved Joanne 's example about the rafting trip . ( If you weren 't there on Sunday , ask her to tell you sometime ) . Life goes by too fast to not find joy and humor in your kids . Even when they embarrass you , just laugh ! No one is called to be a mom to your child ( ren ) except you . Instead of judging another for their decision in raising a child , let 's begin applauding each other . Let 's affirm and encourage each other . 4 . Enjoy each space and phase of development . Be present at each moment . Stay engaged . Love every moment , because before you know it , they will be graduating high school and college , moving out , and getting married . It 's ok to look with excitement to the phases ahead , but once you are there , you can 't ever get the past phase back . Know that every season ends . The season of infancy with exhaustion ends . The season with temper tantrums , the terrible 2 's and 3 's ends . So don 't wish it away too fast . * * Keep from being weary : You can do anything knowing it 's temporary . What do you feel you did RIGHT as a young MOM ? Strengths carried to an extreme can become a weakness 1 . Be generous with your time . Stay up late for those talks on their schedule . Play outside with them instead of laying on the couch . Take time to create an activity they would enjoy . Go to the park . Sign them up for a sport they would enjoy . 2 . Work hard at being consistent . Their attitudes will line up with their actions . Character with conduct . Beliefs with behavior . Be consistent even if you feel like you are a nag . How many times did you feel your mom was ever a nag ? Don 't you respect her now ? Save " no " for what really matters . Say " yes " as much as you can . 3 . Take the time to explain " why . " Use opportunities as they come as teaching opportunities . Know too - you don 't always have to teach to be a consultant . Pushing in the right direction without forcing . Be honest and open . Kids thrive on honesty and relate to you when you are willing to relate to them . 4 . Peace is a great indicator of being where you are supposed to be . If your home is chaotic , you just might be out of balance . When there is disruption in the home , it starts affecting attitudes . You can learn when to say " no " to outside things when your home isn 't peaceful . I 'm sure I 'm missing something . Regardless , lessons were learned . Growth continues . Posted by It 's time I officially post about my grown up boy ! We are completely potty - trained and wearing big boy undies ( I say " we " because I feel like I played a little part - but you do realize I 've been trained for a while now - ha ) . I have to say the truth " when they are ready , they 're ready " could never have been more TRUE in our case . We have had Judah in a potty - training class at preschool since he was 2 ( cause they have to be in that class to be apart of school ) so he 's been exposed to it 3 days a week for a while now - but they don 't force your kid to take part till they are ready . I attempted 2 off - weekends of potty training that ended up pretty much unsuccessful because he wasn 't ready , and we didn 't like being bound at home - plus I didn 't want the fight . The first weekend , Judah found places to potty in our house and blamed it on a dog we don 't own . The second , was just an extra load of laundry . Then , one day around 4th of July weekend he said , " Mom - I 've got to go pee . Then , Mom - I 've got to go poop . " ( sorry for the potty talk , but it becomes very normal when you have a 2 year old ) . And from there on out - he just told me every time , and we haven 't had any accidents . Seriously - it was just like it clicked and he decided he wanted to wear big boy undies forever . He 's got an amazing bladder that lasts through naps and bedtime . So we are totally saving some money month - to - month now . If you know me , I love to be out - and - about . . . and he has mastered going potty in restaurants , malls , libraries , starbucks - you get the point - he can go wherever there is a potty ! Yep - I 'm bragging about my kid . He 's 2 1 / 2 ( will be 3 in October ) and we accomplished a major feet without much work . If you want my advice , don 't fight them , just wait till they are ready ! ( I 'm no parenting pro though - we 'll see how Izzy does ) . My everydays just got a little easier . It 's less work using the potty than changing diapers all the time . No more kicking feet ! I 've got a grown up little man . Time is flying by . On to the next thing . I find it funny how kids go through various themes in life . Judah is so attached to one particular theme at a time . You all know him as my laundry lover , and it 's true still , but the passion has faded . Then he became my tractor kid . Then he became my baseball kid . Now , he 's my fireman . Everything can turn into a fire station at any moment . Any object that is long and skinny now becomes a fire pole ( pipe cleaners , a clarinet recorder ) . Any shape that is short and round is now a fire hydrant . Hats are fire helmets . The library only consists of fireman movies and firetruck books . I have to say I love this moment in time . I thrive on his obsessions and his creative imagination . It can make bribery simple or really complex . We are attempting potty training again at his will . And his end goal is a new fire station to play with . It 's a new motivation . He 's starting to request fire stuff over baseball stuff for his coming of age ( turning 3 ) party ( even though I might stick with the baseball theme ) . My mom has a doll house which is his fire station and we can suggest items to fit in his world , but if it 's not lined up with what 's in his head , it 's out the door . He 's very specific about what goes in his fire station ( I 'll have to take a picture ) . Playdough has become fire hoses , film roles have become hydrants ( we suggested salt shakers and it was not approved ) . My little man made me smile most when we came across this toy fire truck at the outlets and it became a real world . He was Fireman Judah and he had a job - to protect and serve ( and keep the fire truck clean ) . So enjoy a little glimpse into my world { everyday laine } : It 's summer time , and with that comes an added need to get out of the house . The kids are home , it 's hot , and boredom sets in . What do you opt for ? I 'm trying to figure out where I 'll get the most bang for my buck . Any suggestions ? These are a few I 'm looking into . They have 8 different levels of membership options . To cover my weekday needs , I would only have to pay $ 40 for an entire year to take Judah & Ireland is free . That 's totally worth it . But the drive is about 30 minutes from my house . Judah loves this park - and it has great shade for the summer heat too . Might be worth it . I do have to say we go with Capital MOMS a few times a year too , so it could save money in the long run . We love the Folsom Zoo . It 's about 5 minutes from my house . They have a great park you could pack your lunch and picnic in too . The only catch for me is the train ride . It would be probably and extra $ 4 every time we would go because Judah would not be able to focus until we went on the train . Decisions , decisions . I do love the area though . We love the Library right there too . Is it worth it ? I feel like it could get boring with just me and the two kids . Any one else have a membership here ? Cost is $ 60 for a year ! Not bad . I have to admit , I did not have a good first experience here , and we haven 't been back . But I 've got close friends that have memberships and walk there almost weekly from their houses . The company and friendship alone could be worth it . I guess I have to get over myself and my issues with our first experience . My family cost would be $ 65 ( Ireland is free , and we probably wouldn 't go with Joe much . ) The next tier up is $ 90 once Ireland turns one and Joe would be included in that too . I 'm just adding it on this list in case you aren 't familiar with it . I got hooked from a groupon . Then I realized how much I was spending a month ( $ 59 ) and realized I could probably get way more out of that cost with another membership , which brings me to this blog . I have to say we loved our time at My Gym . I just had to cancel though to save money . That , and Ireland is getting to big to tote around . Their classes are really geared for age groups - so I was only paying for Judah to attend . If you have one child and a good size budget - it 's totally worth it . Judah had a blast ! So it 's not an option for me anymore ( we are saving money ) but it could be an option for your family . We drive by this place all the time and it just looks like so much fun ! The cost would be $ 149 for a summer swim season . And they are only open from about 1 - 6pm . I 'm wondering how crowded it is too . It always looks packed in the summer time . Anybody a member ? If you are , I would maybe consider crashing your party this summer and joining for some playdates . . . not sure though - it 's a little pricy . Anybody a fan ? So - I 'm writing this blog at my parents house - and my dad said to include - " You can become a member of Capital for free just by going through Basecamp . It 's free . . . tithing is appreciated . . . " ha . I just had to include it . I guess I 'm kind of the marketing director too - so it makes sense . Capital Kids does offer some great events in the summer too . Check Out Summer Water Wars tomorrow ( June 3 - click on the link above for pertinent info ) or Splat Week . Gotta love it ! My week started off fairly normal . Then I learned that I was turning 29 ! Yep , that 's right . I only have one year left before the BIG 30 . I don 't really feel freaked out though , cause I 'm still told I look like a 16 year old . . . thanks mom for the baby face . Ha . " First " number 1 . I turned 29 . That 's only going to happen once in my life . Yep . On March 31 , I became a year older . Thanks to family for spoiling me , friends for all the facebook messages , and my kids for wanting to sing happy birthday over and over and eat sweet treats . " First " number 2 . We got Judah his first big guy bike with training wheels . He thinks he is so cool . The first day was a little slow just learning how to peddle . But by the second day , you would 've thought he 'd been riding for months . He loves his new helmet , wears daddy 's softball gloves ( cause he thinks it makes him cooler ) , and wants to jump on and go up and down the street all day long . He 's growing up too fast . " First " number 3 . Ireland got to ride in a swing . It was so sweet . She loved every minute of it and Judah loved having the companion . I wish I had the picts to show you , which leads me to number 4 . " First " number 4 . I had to get a new phone because my mic on my old phone had a malfunction . Luckily it was covered under warranty . I thought I backed up my phone this morning before heading into apple , but forgot I had to manually sync my photos and videos because I have too much on my phone and need to go through and organize it all . I only lost 1 weeks worth of stuff . . . but it had both Judah learning to ride his bike , and Izzy 's first swing ride on there . . . bummer I know . . . but we can capture it again and pretend it 's the first time . . . = ) Good news - I just remembered that I uploaded videos to youtube . . . ( as you 'll see above , I luckily have those 2 " firsts " still . . . no photos , just the videos ) This is my fourth phone in about a 2 - year span . Between Judah dropping it twice on tile , leaving it on my car and then watching it get run over after I realized where it was , I invested in an Otter Box DPosted by We had the pleasure of getting to chat one on one with Linda Gordon at our last Capital Moms Sunday brunch . I thought it would be easiest for me to highlight some of her points in this blog vs . trying to type out all my notes on our group page . I hope if you weren 't able to make it , that you find this somewhat helpful or encouraging . I personally took away the theme for the morning by trying to sum it up into this one word " PRAY . " I know that this word can seem daunting to some . Growing up in the Christian world my whole life , this word has probably been overused and it has become more of a " rule " than a desire . Also , I know those who are new to faith can look at it from the perspective of " where do I begin ? " I think a light bulb clicked in my head when Linda said , " Rest in the fact that you have a RELATIONSHIP with the Lord . It 's about your relationship verse making a routine or set aside time . " Note : there are different seasons of life . Some seasons can call for routine . I 'm in a season where I 've got a 2 year old and a 6 month old . While I probably should have them on a routine by now , I don 't . . . and I 'm in the " trying to survive " phase of life . Don 't get me wrong , I love every moment of survival , but getting up at 6am every morning for devotions just isn 't happening . Linda encouraged us to " Take off the guilt ! Take off the how to 's , the now to 's and what your best friend is doing or what super mom is doing ! " I love that fact . I always find it so freeing when I 'm not comparing myself to others . What works for you ? Do you feel close to the Lord ? If not , maybe try something new that works for you . I think some of my best prayer times come when I journal . I don 't know what it is , but I must like the action of actually writing things down ( instead of getting lost in my head of what I have to do for that day ) . Journaling just helps me stay focused . Maybe , taking your kids for a walk to the park and talking to God works for you . The point is , do what works for you . Try something verses saying it 's too difficult or there isn 't enough time in the day . Linda said , " Sometimes it 's pray as I go , and sometimes it 's God tugging on my heart saying , come spend a little time with me now . " I love that . . . it seems like whenever we take the time to be with God , we are refreshed and our day works a little better than it would 've had we not got that time in . It ' She suggested a couple tools for praying as well that I think we have listed before on the page . But just in case you missed that , pick up a copy of " The Power of a Praying Parent " by Stormie Omartian or " The Power of a Praying Wife " by Stormie Omartian . Both are great tools that give you verses to pray over your kids or husband by topics . Linda reminded us that though we are moms , we were first wives . I loved this line she said she learned after 39 years of marriage , " I can tell him anything once before it becomes nagging . Nothing will improve your husbands hearing more than praise ! Be grateful ! " She also reminded us that men don 't think like us . We need to always feel the freedom to ask our husbands for help ! They might not know we need it . Swallow your pride and ask them to help in a few areas . We can remind them too , when we get their help , it frees us up to give " favors " back in return . . . ( if you know what I mean ) . . . Well , there was so much more to the conversation . I wish I had taken some video . . . but in the moment I totally forgot . We are going to have to make a habit of doing these brunches with mentors . I left feeling encouraged and revitalized . It 's always good to be in the presence of God ! I 'll leave you with this video that she mentioned on the topic of " discipline . " Even in nature it is natural to discipline . . . this mother polar bear sticks her baby cub on time out . . . I hope this doesn 't bum you out , but I thought I should probably share my life experiences from the past few weeks . Yep , our life has changed dramatically . My incredible grandfather passed away unexpectedly on Valentine 's Day , February 12 , 2012 . The day started off rather typical . I got the kids ready for daycare / preschool and was off to work . I was sitting in my office when my Aunt was taking a phone call and told me I needed to come into her office and try to get a hold of my dad . At that point , we weren 't really sure what was going on , but knew that Grandpa was with the paramedics . After a few moments on the phone with my dad , we got the news that he had officially passed and we were in disbelief . I left work on a whirlwind and headed to my parents house to be with the family and then we all headed to the hospital to attempt to say our goodbye 's . I left the kids at daycare / preschool and pretended to make it a normal day for them . Obviously , Ireland has no clue what 's happend . But Judah knew something was up when daddy had come with me to pick him up . We took the kids to Momo & Popo 's house thinking it would be a nice distraction - and after several texts / phone calls from so many dear friends who are probably reading this ( I can 't say thanks enough ) we decided to send the kids home with Joe 's parents for the night so we could get a full night 's sleep and rest and be with my family for " adult " time . Really , I can 't say thanks enough to all of you who offered to spend time with the kids . . . When we picked Judah up from preschool , we explained to him that Gpa ( Great - grandpa ) had gone up to heaven to be with Jesus . His immediate response was , " I want to go to heaven and play with Jesus too ! " We told him he wasn 't going to get to see Gpa anymore , but we could look at lots of pictures and videos we have of him and it would make us smile . Judah is a pretty curious kid and he likes to ask lots of questions . We tried to keep his routine pretty normal , but with all the family get - togethers , dinners , services , people constantPosted by Not too long ago Caitlin Zick and I were hanging out talking mom talk while our kids were playing at the park after a Capital MOMS event . As we were catching up on life , she told me about her last date with Cole . She explained to Cole how every mom desires to have some alone time in the aisles of Target ( well almost every - I 'm sure there are some exceptions to the rule ) . Trying to please his wife , he came up with a great date idea . They headed to target with one goal in mind . Each had $ 10 to spend on each other in a 30 minute time period . ( If you think about it - it 's the basic cost of going to a movie but a little more memorable . ) Then they were to meet back at the Starbucks in the front of the store and exchange gifts . Cole ended up getting Cait a new shirt and she got him a new DVD to add to his collection . They both were thrilled with the surprise gifts and it made for a great way to express love , appreciation and just enjoy time spent together . That date idea sounded like so much fun , I thought we should give it a whirl . We were out for dinner and a movie ( we had a gift card from Christmas ) and had a few minutes to kill and there just happened to be a Target within walking distance . So I gave Joe the challenge and he accepted . We set the rules for $ 10 in 10 minutes ( we had a limited time before the movie started ) and we were off . Confession : I actually got distracted in the first minute in the dollar spot with items for the kids and had to remind myself what I was there for . I 've been thinking about what I would get Joe in Target ever since my conversation with Cait . Literally the only items I 've ever bought for him from this store were necessities . I 've bought food , deodorant , cleaning supplies ( yes for him not for me ) , shaving gel and that 's about it . I could think of several items to get for myself ( aren 't we all so selfish in nature ) and for the kids , but I was having the hardest time with him . If you know my husband at all , he kind of has expensive taste ( sorry babe ) . He doesn 't really tend to buy knickPosted by Do you freak out when things don 't go as planned ? How do you respond to the unknown ? I don 't always understand why life happens the way it does , but I 'm super grateful for my supportive family and a God who has it all figured out and cares about our unique situations . I can distinctly remember two incidents in my married life when it seemed like we lost everything . The first occurred right before I had Judah and the second right before Ireland . I think God liked messing with my already hormonal self during both pregnancies . Joe was blessed with the ability to purchase his first home before we got married . It was ( what we thought at the time ) our dream home . We had all the upgrades , space and luxury that we wanted . There was so much room we couldn 't even fill the house with the stuff we had . We were doing our best to budget our money wisely , tithe , and save for furniture items to complete our lavish home . That 's when the economy decided to take a turn and the job that was providing for us became a little dry . My mom had given me a cd on continuing to put your trust in God with your money and there was a verse that stuck out to me that I decided to cling to . Proverbs 24 : 4 " through wisdom and knowledge a home is filled with rare and beautiful treasures " ( I paraphrased ) . . . but decided to make it a prayer of mine through the hard times . It was our first year of marriage , and what we thought would be an easy street turned out to be financially difficult . We were warned in premarital counseling that finances can be tricky in a marriage but neither of us had any issues prior to being married . The story is long and I could go into more detail , but we ended up losing our home and moving into a townhouse 2 weeks before I had Judah . I was super pregnant and hauling items up and down stairs ( I thought for sure it was going to induce me - but I ended up being late and getting induced in the hospital - it was a great experience and a whole other blog ) . . . all of this to say - I ended up rocking Judah in the middle of the night in our newPosted by In an effort to get out of the house on Mondays and Fridays ( my days at home with the kids ) I decided to sign Judah up for gymnastics . We tested out our first class today at Trick 's and I have to say it was a HUGE success . Judah loved every minute of it and was quite entertaining to watch . I was a little nervous , cause you never know how a 2 year old can react in various situations . It was either going to be a hit or a major failure . . . Luckily for this experience . . . it was a major hit ! This isn 't the best pictures , but his smile says it all : They began with following some simple instructions in circle time , sang a song , then watched a demonstration of various activities to do in the toddler area . Judah 's eyes immediately lit up when he saw the teacher climb up a ramp and jump in the foam pit . Needless to say , we spent the next 20 minutes of play time climbing a ramp , jumping in the foam pit , and sliding down the next ramp . He was in toddler gymnastics heaven . These eyes say it all : We moved from there to free time - climbing foam structures and running down the long trampoline . Then , the next highlights of the day - the teacher drew with chalk on a trampoline and each kid took turns jumping from the square to the circle , singing ring around the rosie and bouncing all around . Judah could hardly wait his turn he was so excited to " perform " for everyone . He enjoyed the applause after completing his turn too . It 's a parent involvement class , so I was carrying Izzy in the bjorn the entire class which worked out well . But Judah decided he wanted to hang out with the teacher more than me ( probably cause she could throw him around a little more ) . His favorite was laying on the parachute and having the teacher slide him down to the center when lifting it up . Then jumping on the bubbles , banging the drum sticks and so much more . The class was structured very well and moved quickly from one thing to the next . We had a great experience for sure . He got stamps on his hands , toes and tummy at the end of the class : I just bougPosted by
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Flawless Saturday Question Inspired by yesterday 's post and Thanksgiving , I want to know about a woman who you 're very thankful for . It can be your mom , best friend , aunt , teacher , etc . Think past or present . Feel free to list several , if you 're moved to do so . And , to make it extra special , have that person ( if they are still with us ) read what you wrote . Never underestimate the power of telling someone how much they mean to you . My mom is amazing . She taught me the power of a smile and a hello . She taught me to never , ever break a promise . She admitted her flaws as I was growing up , teaching me the importance of imperfection . She is honest , sometimes to a fault . She is strong , sometimes to a fault . She always tells me the things I do that she admires . When I got married , she gave me a great gift . The night before the wedding , she and my father came to my hotel room and she said , " You 're getting married tomorrow . That means Russ is your family now . He comes first . Your father and I will never come between you , or ask to come before him . He will be your husband , and you will be his wife , and we will still be your parents . But we will not overstep our boundaries . " That still means the world to me . Since my dad passed away , my mom has been mourning with grace , great sadness , and great purpose . She expects too much of herself , to be okay too soon . But she listens when I tell her that . She is beautiful and flawed and funny as hell and I love her . Personal Crap I think women are cool . Wait , let me try that again . Women are so awesome ! Ahem . Women . Whoo ! They are the BEST ! Okay , I 'm not gonna lie . This whole " liking women " thing is relatively new for me . We 're talking about 10 or 12 years now . Before that ? Me no likey women . Me no likey women at all ! There were some women I liked , of course . My mom seemed okay . I had a few girlfriends I adored . But , for the most part , I thought chicks were lame . I 've always surrounded myself with boys , and I still do that a lot . But before , when I didn 't like women , I had a pack o ' boys around me all the time to protect me from them . Looking back I 'm now fully , and sadly , aware of why I was so opposed to getting to know womenfolk . Deep breath here . I didn 't like myself . I really , really did not like who I was and so I didn 't like seeing that in other women . I also felt very insecure , jealous , and uncomfortable around girls who were too much like me , or funnier than me , or prettier than me , or skinnier than me , or more feminine than me , or more successful than me … Are you seeing any kind of pattern ? So I would instantly pass judgement on any female I met . " I don 't like that girl . She 's so … Blah blah blah " , fill in the blank with whatever I thought was too awesome about her . I guess about 10 or 12 years ago , I started liking who I was a little more , and so I started seeing the good in other women . And then I really started getting it . Oh my GOD ! Women are incredible ! Look at them ! They 're beautiful . They 're funny and smart and , wait a minute here , they 're very nurturing and they 're good listeners and they 're so unbelievably supportive ! Look at them cook ! Look at them take care of others . Look at them sip their wine or coffee or sparkling water with their legs crossed at a little cafe and laugh or cry or just commiserate ! Then I realized that I was seeing all this good stuff in myself and it was making me see it even more clearly in these other women , and it all made so much sense . I 'm so very sad for the girl who didn 't like other girls because she was so insecure and self - loathing . I 'm sad for the frieWOMEN ARE AMAZING . Toddler Four months ago , my family and I stepped off the plane in Portland , OR and began our week - long summer vacation in the place of my husband 's birth . For a month prior , and all the way on the plane trip our ( nearly ) three - year - old son could not stop talking about the dinosaurs he was going to see at the Oregon State Fair . " We 're going to Oregon to see DINOSAURS " , he would tell anyone who would listen . " When do we get to go to Oregon to see Dinosaurs ? " , he would ask every night before bed . On the rental - car ride to the town where Grandma Farm lives , he would say , " Are we almost at the Dinosaurs ? " Then we arrived . The fair . We were starving . We ate . We hurried because the dinosaurs were waiting . We finished . Where are they ? That building ! Let 's go ! Oh , really ? More money here than we paid at the entrance to the fair ? This must be good ! Doors open . Roars are heard . There they are , around the corner ! This is it ! The moment we 've talked about for months ! What 's happening with Garrett ? Why is he convulsing ? Are those giant tears ? Garrett ? G … G … Garrett ? " I don 't want to see those dinosaurs ! I want to go ! Let 's get out of here ! " But Garrett . Honey ? This is what we 've been taking abou … " Listen , Bitch ! You get me the hell out of this place NOW , or I 'm gonna do some pretty crazy SHIT ! " Whoa . Slow down , boy . That is some pretty abrasive langua … . " What part of ' get me out of here ' don 't you UNDERSTAND ? Turn your shit around and move it ! " Listen , I don 't know who taught a three - year - old how to talk like that , but I guess the dinosaurs really brought it out of him . I mean there they were , these giant , animatronic dinos in a pretty dark room , roaring and carrying on . It was a tad scarier than I had imagined , too . But this is what we had been going on and on about for friggin ' months ! He 'll get over it , I thought . He just needs a little potty break and it 'll all be okay . In the bathroom , there was more : " Are we going to have to pass the dinosaurs again ? " Yes , Garrett , to get to the exit . But you don 't have to look and we won 't go in . " I don 't want to pass them ! " I told him I 'd hold him close and we 'd walk by fast . So , we exit the bathroom and we 're about to go past the room with all the dinosaurs again . " NO , MOMMY " , he screams ! And then , before I can stop him , he looks in . And through giant tears he screams , " A PTERODACTYL ! A T - REX ! AN IGUANODON ! " ( This kid knows his dinosaurs ) . " LET ' S GET OUT OF HERE ! " So , that was our whole Oregon Dinosaur Experience . Garrett sobbed and screamed from outside the doors and saw three of his favorites from 40 - feet away , while begging me to take him out of the building . He still talks about it like it was the best day ever . Which brings us to today . The Natural History Museum of Los Angeles . Just like when we were going to Oregon , we prepped for this day . I showed him videos of the fossils and the 10 : 30 AM Dinosaur Experience show they put on , where a giant T - Rex , with a guy inside , walks around the Mammal Pavilion and helps you learn about dinos . He was pumped . PUMPED ! " When are we going to the museum ? " " Is the museum open yet ? " " Can we go see the dinosaurs NOW ? " You could feel the excitement over breakfast this morning . Something big was about to happen . We got in the car at 9 : 10AM . No traffic . We 're there at 9 : 35 . We bought a membership for the year that gets us into NHM and the La Brea Tar Pits as many times as we want . We look at the insect zoo . AMAZING ! We look at the North American mammals . WOW ! And now it 's time for the show . Russ and I place our bets . The lights go down . " I don 't want to see the T - Rex ! ' , it begins . " Let 's go ! " This time was different , though . No tears . Just a lot of convulsing , which he does when he wants you to really get the point that he 's scared . " Garrett " , I start , " The dinosaur you 're about to see is a costume . There 's a man inside . " " And all the growling " , Russ adds , " Is from those speakers right up there " . We tell him it 's not real , it 's just for fun . That dinosaurs are extinct and the only way we can see them walk and roar is with puppets or costumes or robots , but we could leave at any time if he wanted to . Then Little Red Riding Hood comes out and tells us about how cool it is to learn about things you don 't understand . And then , OH NO , the T - Rex . Here it is , right in front of us and what 's Garrett doing ? CLAPPING ! Oh , thank you Lord . Garrett is clapping ! And listening and learning and enjoying every second ! We 're not running for the door . We 're in the room with the dinosaur and we 're loving it ! Show ends . We go see a lot more fossils and gems and bugs and mammals . Then G and I head to the potty where , lo and behold , Little Red is going into a stall ! We wait outside the bathroom for her and Garrett says hi and tells her how much the T - Rex reminded him of " Buddy " from " The Dinosaur Train " , and how he loves Iguanodons and Triceratops . And he promises he 'll be back to see the Ankylosaur show soon . Toddler My kid is on his own time schedule . He does things when HE wants to do them . And we don 't push , because whenever he finally decides to do something , he does it very well . Speaking , he did incredibly early . Other things , he did … later . Walking ? 14 months . Potty trained ? Three years . Big boy bed ? Big boy bed ? Um . He 's been three for two months . Big . Boy . Bed ? He 's not in one yet , okay ? ? We 've had the converter kit for six months . We 've asked him , " You want a big boy bed , Garrett ? " He seems content with the crib . " We can make your crib a big boy bed for your birthday ! " Nah . Has he climbed out ? Nope . Once , however , he did climb IN . And just like when he seemed to take forever to take his first steps , I 'm GLAD ! I am ! I mean , when he 's able to get in and out of his bed , it 's over ! No more waiting for him to call me in , he 'll just be standing at the foot of my bed , or lifting one of my eyelids like in that cereal commercial ! And forget about sex without locking the door ! It 's bad enough we can 't get the damn DOG off the bed , I don 't need my kid walking in ! ( And , believe me , that 's the last thing HE needs ! ) So , I 'm just letting him take his own , sweet time . If he 's still in his crib at eight or nine , I 'll do something about it , alright ? Oh , and as long as he 's in his crib , I have an excuse to use the monitor and listen to him talk to himself . When he 's in a big boy bed , there will be no reason for a monitor because he 'll just come and get us . And then where does that leave me ? No crib ? No monitor ? Oh shit ! A baby doesn 't live here anymore ! There 's a little BOY in the house ! Cooking / Baking Yes , I wrote myself a Thanksgiving Schedule about four years ago . I typed it in Word , printed out the two pages , stapled it and brought it into the kitchen . Now I pull it out every year and do exactly what it tells me to do . It starts the day before Thanksgiving , with brining the turkey . If you 've never brined a turkey , DO IT THIS TIME ! It makes the moistest , juiciest dang bird you 've ever had . I get my brine at Williams Sonoma and I think it 's worth the splurge , but there are many brining recipes on line that are great . It takes a little while because you have to boil and completely cool the brine , so give yourself ample time , and make sure you have a giant bag to brine in ! I always get my Diestel turkey at Whole Foods . Delicious , vegetarian fed , no added hormones or anti - biotics and cage free . You can get organic or regular . Unpaid plug , kids . The reason my Thanksgiving is pretty simple , is because I do a ton of the prep work the day before . I clean and brine the turkey , therefore I already have the neck and giblets to make my gravy starter . I also cut up all my veggies for the stuffing and place them in baggies , I make any desserts or breads I want to make , I boil eggs for deviled eggs ( Russ makes them . Sooo good ! ) , and I make my dough for the pumpkin corn fritters . Thanksgiving Day , I take the turkey out of the fridge an hour before cooking to bring it to room temperature , and I wash off all of the brine . You don 't ever want to put cold meat in the oven , you 'll be adding a lot of cooking time and it could dry out . My Mother - in - law taught me how to make a turkey 7 years ago , and it has never failed me . Right before roasting , I put an onion and fresh herbs into the cavity , and I rub the entire turkey with olive oil and a generous helping of salt and pepper . I put the turkey in a 325 degree oven until it 's golden brown . Then I tent the turkey and keep roasting . I never baste , and I open the oven as little as possible . Butterball . com has pretty accurate roasting times and has always been very helpful with any turkey questions , but I always check the temp on my bird and hour before it 's " supposed " to be done . The temperature inside the deepest part of the thigh , without touching the bone , should be 180 degrees . The temperature in the deepest part of the breast should be 170 . The turkey should be fully cooked at least a half hour before dinner , so it can rest before you cut it . Then I 've timed ( to the minute ) when to do everything else , like roasting the garlic for the mashed potatoes , boiling the potatoes , sauteing the veggies for the stuffing , making the green bean casserole , frying the fritters , etc . If you haven 't made a schedule for yourself , I highly recommend it . Just write down everything you 're doing as you do it this year and you 'll have it done by the end of the day ! It helps me out every year . This gravy has always come out perfect . A couple of times I 've had to add a little Wondra to thicken it a bit , but it 's so freaking good . If you 've ever had gravy problems , try this one ! And please , for the love of Thanksgiving , let me know how it turns out ! ! Health , Personal Crap I am not opposed to plastic surgery , as evidenced by my nose job sometime around 1996 . I had just done my first , real , big television acting job on Seinfeld and my friend was throwing a party to watch it premiere on NBC . There I was , sitting on the floor next to my mom , 50 of my closest friends behind me . There I was on the TV kissing Kramer on the neck ! And then the scene where he falls asleep on top of me and I 'm yelling his name ! And … OH MY GOD MY NOSE IS GIGANTIC ! WHY DIDN ' T ANYONE EVER TELL ME ? ? And then a commercial . And I turn to my mom , thinking about all the jobs I 'm never going to get with that nose and say , " I 'm thinking about getting a nose job . " To which she , without even a breath of hesitation replies , " I think that 's a good idea . " About one month later I was under the knife and I 've never looked back . So , I am not opposed to plastic surgery . What I am opposed to is excessive plastic surgery , the kind that makes people look like cats , lips look like life rafts , and boobs look like beach balls . We 're turning ourselves , one surgery at a time , into an unrecognizable species of … Weirdos ! I think it 's sad , and I think it 's unrealistic , and I think it 's damaging . So I 'm thinking of turning to 70 's porn for answers . See , my husband grew up with Playboys lying around the house and , since he was born in 1970 , they were Playboys from the 1970 's . And do you know what those Playboys did for my husband ? ( Besides the obvious , of course . ) Those Playboys gave my man a great appreciation for soft , pendulous breasts , thick thighs , a slightly poochy tummy , and PUBIC HAIR , for goodness ' sake ! ! That 's right ! My husband finds REAL WOMEN attractive ! ! ( Which makes my life so much easier , friends . ) Now let 's think about what my son will grow up thinking is normal : Big , dented , hard , absurdly high and round boobs on 90 pound hairless women . I know I 'm being crass , but I want you to think about that . It 's hard enough being a woman who was born in the 70 's and grew up in the 80 's . But at least MY Madonna was shapely and soft and womanly ! The Madonna of 2010 is a stick with muscles . My supermodels were curvy and sexy . The supermodels of 2010 are sickly and boyish . And the women in Playboy are fake , fake , fake . It makes me angry , truly . Real women are becoming the minority , at least in the media and magazines . So what are we raising our sons to be attracted to and our daughters to aspire to ? So , here 's my plan . When Garrett is about , I don 't know , twelve - years - old ? I 'm going to start subtly leaving magazines from the 70 's lying around . I 'll " hide " them so he thinks he 's finding them . And what will he see ? Lo ' and Behold ! Women ! Real Women ! What do you think ? Good idea ? Flawless Saturday Question What did you want to be when you grew up ? I remember wanting to be a vet , because I loved animals so dang much . I never really thought about the fact that you had to be super smart and go to school for a really long time . I probably gave up the dream as soon as I found that out . Family , Personal Crap It 's November , which has always been my favorite month of the year . Two really cool things happen in November : Thanksgiving , and my birthday . Usually my birthday comes before Thanksgiving , but I like Thanksgiving better than my birthday , which is why I put it first . This Thanksgiving will mark the seventh one that Russ and I have hosted . You see , Thanksgiving has always been my absolute favorite of all holidays and I wasn 't happy with the way it was going for a while . So I took it back . I grabbed it from the others who had been hoarding it and proclaimed , " This is MY holiday , chumps ! " There was some resistance at first , but then it was as it should be . Let me take you back a bit . Growing up , Thanksgiving was perfect . Yes , perfect . ( I 've learned in therapy it probably wasn 't perfect , but let me have my memories , okay ? ) It was perfect . My mom and grandma would spend HOURS in the kitchen doing all kinds of who - knows - what that involved making homemade stuffing that was cooked IN the bird , making side dishes from Heaven , and doing some voodoo magic that made everything taste like Autumn . Sure , there were some fights and stresses . And yes , I had to polish the fucking silver every year . And holy cow did I complain about it ! But somehow , everything got on the table when it was time to eat and we had ourselves a perfect Thanksgiving . There was usually somewhere between eleven and fourteen of us . We would eat and laugh and eat and laugh . Grandpa would tell hilarious stories , we 'd constantly comment on the deliciousness , and after dinner we all performed . Someone would sing , my brother would play piano or do something incredibly silly , and I 'd do some sort of monologue to make my grandpa giggle until he cried . Then there was dessert and coffee and then it would be over , and I 'd be so sad that the best day of the year came to an end . It 's weird because it wasn 't traditional , really . We 'd eat late and no one seemed to be too interested in the football . My family was always more into baseball and hockey . It would 've REALLY been the perfect holiday if the World Series were in November ! There are a few reasons I love Thanksgiving so much : The food . No prayers . No presents . All Thanksgiving is is an excuse to figure out what is good about your life and to celebrate that by shoveling food in your yap . So , years go by and grandparents pass away , and dynamics change and my brother gets married . Now , all of a sudden , we 're eating with my sister - in - law 's family . Our quaint holiday turned into a 27 - person melee that didn 't resemble anything I was familiar with . Our first Thanksgiving together , Russ and I were at a card table in the corner , wondering how late the coffee shop stayed open so we could go have a peaceful meal . Plus , dinner started close to 8 : 00 PM , which just seemed preposterous . This went on for five years until Russ and I couldn 't take it anymore . Our favorite holiday needed a resurrection , and we were just the people to do it . Seven years ago I called my parents and told them we would no longer be joining in the foolishness of the over - crowded Thanksgiving . ( By the way , I love my sis - in - law 's family . I just missed my holiday ) . I told them Russ and I would be having a traditional Thanksgiving at our house at 4 : 00PM and that they , and any of the family , were welcome . I was met with much anger . " It 's not for YOU to decide where Thanksgiving is ! " Yes it is . " How dare you break up the family like that ! " I told you everyone is welcome . " Well , you KNOW Bob and Karen won 't be able to come ! " Maybe they 'll come next year . They can trade off between our Thanksgiving and theirs . " I think you 're being very selfish ! " I am . It feels great . A couple hours later , my mom called me back and apologized . She actually said , " I 'm so proud of you for standing up for what you want for yourself and your family . I would never have had the balls to do it . I raised you right . " Then she told me she and my father would join us , and we could work out the rest later . I did it . I took Thanksgiving back . This was going to be fantastic . And it was . That year Russ and I started our tradition of spending the day cooking together , laughing together , and stressing together . We make all the old favorites and I have it scheduled out to the minute , when the turkey goes in , when the potatoes start , what time to roast the garlic . I make the turkey , stuffing ( boxed with a lot of veggies and love added ) , pumpkin fritters , green - bean casserole , and biscuits ( frozen ) . Russ makes the mashed potatoes and White Trash Krab Salad . At 4 : 00 , whoever shows up is sitting and eating and laughing and talking . We make enough so that the next day I can make a giant turkey , stuffing , peas , and mashed potato casserole for anyone who wants to come over . This year will be rough . Thanksgiving was my Daddy 's favorite holiday , too . I loved that he loved Russ ' Krab salad so much . He was so proud of me for doing it my way . He was so happy to be around his close family . This year I turn 39 two days before Thanksgiving , and yet I 'll still feel like a giddy little girl when we sit down to eat . I 'll be grateful for so many things . And I 'll also be profoundly sad . But I 'll get to laugh and cry and shovel food in my face at my own dining room table , because seven years ago I took Thanksgiving back . This is the Thanksgiving Garrett is growing up with . And I think that 's what I 'm most thankful for . Toddler There 's a kid in Garrett 's class who makes at least one kid cry every day . It usually happens in the 15 minutes I 'm there , at school , dropping Garrett off . These are pre - schoolers , mind you . And every , single day this kid is making someone cry . He hits , he kicks , he trips them , he takes their toys , he knocks down their blocks , he grabs books . Is this the beginning of a bully ? Is this how it starts ? Is it something that can be fixed now , if it 's dealt with the right way ? I see his teachers tell the crying ones to " use their words " , to tell this kid that they don 't like the way they 're being treated . " Don 't hit my body ! " , they say . That 's a good start I guess , but shouldn 't something be done about this kid ? Is there a way to deal with him , with his parents , that could improve his behavior and nip this in the bud ? I 'm sure he 'd be a pretty sweet kid if he could only change this one part about himself . And should the teachers be allowed to do more ? To punish him ? It 's possible there 's something clinically wrong . He might not be able to control these things . But that should be looked into also . I fear that if it 's not taken care of , he 's just going to turn into a monster . He 'll be the kid no one likes because he 's mean and so he 'll be all alone and that will just make him meaner . Right ? Doesn 't that seem like the way it 'll happen ? So , I guess my question is what can be done ? I feel like it 's partially my responsibility , as a parent who sees this happening daily , to intervene . If this child is causing a disruption every day , he 's affecting every other child 's experience there . And , believe me , I think it 's okay for these kids to deal with some adversity . But that isn 't the point . The point is , it seems like now is a good time to try to change this kid 's path , to figure out what is wrong with him so it can be worked on . It 's not only the right thing to do for all the kids he comes in contact with , it 's the right thing to do for him . Otherwise I foresee a sad , friendless future for this boy . Oh , and I 'm not gonna lie . The one day I was there when he made Garrett cry , I wanted to stand over him and yell obscenities . Instead , I let the teachers help Garrett " use his words " . It was all fine after about five minutes , but if it keeps happening I 'm going to give Garrett a few " choice " words to " use " next time . And I 'll give him a cupcake if he uses them correctly . Cooking / Baking , Family , Personal Crap Belts are being tightened around the Arch household . No , not in the " I 've lost so much weight , my pants are too big " kind of way . More in the " It 's been a slower year than normal and we need to rein it in a bit " kind of way . Don 't worry ! We 're fine . I 'm not giving you a PO Box to send donations to … Yet . One of the things Russ and I agree on is how to spend money . We 've always lived a little below our means and , since we 're both in an industry that thrives on never knowing where one 's next check is coming from , we try to keep big purchases to a minimum . However , we are definitely changing our habits . For instance , we used to eat dinner ( and lunch and some breakfasts ) out a lot . I 'd say on average we 'd eat dinner out at least four nights a week . And I ate lunch out almost every day . There were periods of time when I 'd cook a few meals a week , but it was never very consistent . And if we had leftovers in the fridge the next night , they 'd sit there until they were thrown out , because we were at a restaurant . We don 't go to expensive restaurants . We like casual , diner - type places . But it doesn 't matter . Those meals out add up quick ! So , for about two months we 've eaten almost every meal at home . I cook now at least four times a week , and we 're eating leftovers the other nights . And can I just tell you ? I AM LOVING EVERY FREAKING MINUTE OF IT ! I feel so … accomplished . And it feels fantastic to take care of my family like that . I feel like I 'm nurturing them . Feeding people is a very powerful thing . I 've always felt that way . But doing it consistently like this makes me feel like some kind of a super hero ! Yes , I am well aware that there are women ( and some men ) all over this Earth who cook every single night , and have done so for 10 , 20 , 30 , even 50 years . I get it . I 'm not the first person to cook for my family . But I can 't stop congratulating myself about it ! I 've learned new recipes and brought back old ones . I 'm making soup and chili and about five different kinds of chicken ! I 'm roasting veggies and making pasta sauce . I 'm putting awesome leftovers in Garrett 's lunchbox ! Even the occasional " frozen food " nights are fun . And then I 'm really counting the money we 're saving . Oh , and one night we had sweet potato pancakes , scrambled eggs and ham . Everyone was so happy ! I ' M KING OF THE WORLD ! Seriously though , I 'm feeling very proud . Not because of the cooking , but because I 'm learning things about myself . I am being given this time without work , and it feels like the biggest blessing . Ever since Garrett was born , I 've wanted to be home more than anything . I love working , and I do hope to get back to it someday . But right now , in this pocket of time , I 'm learning about what kind of wife and mother I am . I 'm teaching myself new skills , and I 'm finding out that I really like this side of me that I always knew was there . I 've always joked with my friends , and they will attest to this , that I 'm a 1950 's housewife trapped inside the body of a working actress . And , even though I 've yet to greet my husband at the door with a martini , it 's true . I don 't even mind cleaning so much . I 'm not a genius at it , but I 'm good . And I like walking into the rooms I 've cleaned and taking a deep breath , knowing that I did that . The bottom line is this : I 'm grateful and humbled . I 'm so lucky that I 'm able to stay home for this time , which could end at any moment with the birth of a new job , and find out that I truly love being this person . I feel more like me than I ever have before . That is such an amazing feeling . And I hope to take this new , authentic me to any job I have in the future . Because I think this person is much more interesting and happy than I ever used to be . Plus , if my work days are behind me and I never get offered another job , I really like the one I have right now ! I 'm humbled because of the women who do this job so beautifully all day , every day with more kids and less resources . I 'm amazed at their grace and skills , and their ability to do it with very few thank you 's or pats on the back . I hope they take some time to congratulate themselves , like I just did ! I 'm also humbled by all the women who never get the opportunity to stay home with their kids because they have to work every day , no matter what . I believe that most of them would rather be mothering than working , and I admire them for doing what they have to do . Friday night we decided to go out for dinner for the first time in a long while . Garrett asked what we were getting ready for and Russ said , " We 're going out for dinner ! " Garrett whimpered a bit and said , " NO ! I want to eat at home ! " That might have been the best compliment I 've ever gotten .
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My eye for details doesn 't apply to most of my life . But that has to be obvious to anyone reading this . Because right here on this blog is a very obvious mistake . Anyone precise and detail - oriented has already noticed what I mean . Go ahead and look . Up at the top of the page . The design doesn 't fit around the banner . It fit at the beginning . But then I changed the page design and I couldn 't figure out how to change the banner back . It 's been this way for months . You 've seen it , I 've seen it , everyone has seen it . It 's a technical thing I don 't know how to do . So I figured I would temporarily leave the broken banner alone and wait , until I was ready to change the whole design . This is one of the hallmarks of a procrastinator . I wait , and then I forget about it . The word " wait " is one of those four - letter words I should never say . I don 't know if this defect detracts from the experience of reading , or if it offends anyone who has obsessive compulsive disorder . Since it 's my blog and I 'm an artist , even though I haven 't done anything about it , I 'm sure it bothers me more than it bothers anyone else . I ' 'm not sure it does bother anyone else . If you subscribe to the blog by email , you don 't even know what I 'm talking about . In fact , for almost six months , NO ONE has ever mentioned this to me . Which makes me kind of wonder why I 'm pointing it out now . After starting Click for Clutter a few days ago , it 's been a busy week . So this time , I am really going to take Sunday off . Not blogging . Not clearing out clutter . Mostly reading the New York Times . And here 's a link to a newspaper not quite as influential as the New York Times . It 's where you can read the article below which appeared in my hometown paper today . ( You can see Peppy peeking out on the top left - hand corner ) I promise this blog will not become permanently " cluttered . " It 's been less than 24 hours since I officially started Click for Clutter - - and I came across this . And I couldn 't resist . Our local newspaper is coming over tomorrow to do a story on my new blog , and they want to take photos of my clutter . So right now instead of blogging , I should be frantically cleaning up all the clutter . As if I could . At least I 'm not quite as bad as the woman in this video . Posted at 01 : 04 AM in Queen of Clutter | Permalink Doesn 't everyone make the same New Year 's resolution every year ? I always do . Every single January first , I promise myself to get organized . I never do . So many people make this resolution that the National Association of Professional Organizers designates January as " Get Organized " Month . And all the experts repeat the same mantra : Keep it simple . Right now I 'm feeling a little like Oprah . Because this year , I 've spiraled out of control . Oprah 's gained 40 pounds ; I 've gained maybe 400 pounds . She 's spread out - - - and so have I . From my desk to my office to my closet to my garage . Then there 's that ' " Aha " moment . For Oprah , it 's the number 2 - 0 - 0 . For me , it 's the realization that the clutter has migrated from my living space and invaded my mental space . And it 's starting to impact my life . So just like Oprah , it 's time to seize control . This year , I made the same resolution as always , but with a twist . I 'm making a commitment to clear out my clutter . On the internet . Via my new blog , called Click for Clutter . Starting January 1 , I started sorting through the stuff I 've accumulated for decades . We 're not talking all junk , although lots of it is . Lots of it also has value - - - either sentimental or real . I can 't begin to imagine everything I 'll find , but it will range from the ridiculous to the sublime . Every day I will post a new item and ask for a vote . Should I : If this sounds like a drastic step , it is . I believe there are some powerful emotional issues which explain WHY I collect clutter . But this isn 't the time to list those reasons . This is the time for action . Maybe it 's the economy ; maybe I feel lucky ; maybe I 'm getting older ; maybe it 's just the right time . But after years of clinging to my clutter , finally I feel ready to let it go . I 've accumulated too much because I add new things without letting go of enough old things . I hope to learn my lesson when it comes to clutter . But it doesn 't hold true for blogs . Even though I 'm adding a new blog , I won 't be letting go of this one . I hope you 'll read them both from now on . I 'll provide the clutter . All you need to do is Click . Posted at 12 : 46 AM in Queen of Clutter | Permalink I used to think it wasn 't possible to be too thin , too rich , or have too much closet space . I 've changed my mind about all three . Especially the closet space . A few months ago I made a list of some of the clutter I found on my desk . The next day I got an email from my friend Priscilla . " How about doing your closet next ? " she suggested . It was a great idea . And she didn 't stop there . A week later she sent another email . " I still remember your Beverly Hills closet . Write about that ! " A few weeks would go by and there would be another reminder . " When are you doing that closet ? " If it sounds like Priscilla is obsessed by my closet , there 's a perfectly good reason . She lives in Manhattan . I 've never understood how New Yorkers can survive with so little closet space . When I was younger I would have been fine with a Manhattan closet . In fact , when I moved into my first apartment after college , I LIVED in a closet . Literally . This was in Boston and I had 3 roommates and to save on rent , I chose to live in a walk - in closet . Not a very big one , either . To get into my " room " I had to walk through my roommate 's room . I had just enough space for a full - size bed - - that I could only get into by crawling in from the foot of the bed . That was also where the room ended - - plus it had no door . I had no dresser , no table , no other furniture - - nothing would fit . I have no idea what I did with my clothes . I wasn 't interested in clothes , anyway , until years later . During my TV career , everyone else seemed very interested in my clothes , so I got more interested in them , too . And I started to buy a lot more . But even my television wardrobe could not fill up the Beverly Hills closet - - the one Priscilla remembers from over 20 years ago . It wasn 't really IN Beverly Hills . Just near it . The closet was in the house I bought with my first husband soon after we had our first child and moved out of his bachelor house . The closet in our master bedroom was so big , it apparently traumatized Priscilla for life . And it spoiled me for life , too . It definitely was bigger than many New York apartments . It was bigger than both of my kids ' bedrooms . Our entire family could have lived in that closet . My wardrobe and my ex - husband 's wardrobe were swallowed up by the huge expanse ; the closet seemed as infinite as a black hole in space . By adding a little at a time and subtracting nothing , and exploiting my natural tendency to be a packrat , in the course of 9 years I achieved the impossible - - - I filled up the entire closet . The Beverly Hills closet was 15 years and 3 houses ago - - and like Priscilla , I still fantasize about it . But that monster - size closet created a monster - - - me - - - by allowing me to binge and not purge . And prove that too much closet space is NOT always a good thing . On the other hand , the end result is closely related to my new project which I 'm very excited about to write about . . . . tomorrow . Posted at 01 : 01 AM in Queen of Clutter | Permalink None of my friends are watching my children grow up . Because I 've never sent holiday cards . The idea is way too much pressure for a professional procrastinator . I think about it every Thanksgiving at my sister 's house . On her wall is a framed collection of 30 years worth of cards since her kids were born . My sister is my polar opposite . And seeing her collection makes me feel worse about my own deficiency since I have actually TAKEN some of the photos on her cards . This always makes me think I should send out my own . But I never do . Should I should add this to my list of failings as a mother ? Did I traumatize my kids by not sending out cute pictures of them ? Is it too late to start sending cute pictures of kids in their early twenties ? My kids never complained , so I didn 't think this mattered to them . Until I got a little clue . Two years ago my daughter decided to send out her own holiday cards while her husband was in Iraq . She came over to my house so I could help her with the mailing . Not that she needs help . Both of my kids are incredibly organized . So Alli came over and I helped her print pictures and stuff envelopes and stamp them and she sent her cards out . And I got so inspired that I decided to do my own . I did exactly what Alli did . I bought cards and stamps and printed out copies of my favorite picture of the kids . And then Alli is sending out cards again this year . It 's a tiny bit embarrassing , but I learned my lesson last time . At this point in life , I feel secure and realistic enough to abandon the idea of holiday cards . And I felt okay about that . Lately my favorite part of any trip is coming home - - even at 3 . am . Even though I didn 't get much sleep in it , nothing is better than waking up in your own bed . Which I do with Peppy but minus V who is still gone . Things on the homefront seem fine . The woman who came in to feed Peppy daily must have straightened up since the house looks better than when we left . It looks so good that I call my housekeeper who normally comes in today - - and I tell her to take the day off . I love having the house to myself . Even with no food in it . I 'm thinking of what to eat with my coffee when . . . I open the freezer and step into a scene out of a slasher movie . Inside our freezer is an explosion of blood and guts , globs of stuff on the shelves with bright red blood dripping down the walls of the freezer , red and purple splashed everywhere . Cue the screaming teenage girl . I don 't scream , but I think : someone was murdered in our freezer . On closer inspection I find no dead bodies . Or body parts . Well , technically , there are body parts . Chicken body parts . Still wrapped but covered in the stuff that looks like gory bloodstains - - - but actually is the liquefied remains that oozed out of opened bags of frozen strawberries and raspberries - - intended to make smoothies , not horror movies . How it leached out everywhere remains a mystery of Hollywood movie - making . This is unacceptable . In my view , refrigerators are simple machines which were invented to serve one simple purpose . That is all I ask of a refrigerator and it shouldn 't be too much to expect . Not to require cleaning . Not to require defrosting ( which by the way , I am not entirely sure how or when to do . ) Not to be too hot or too cold . I don 't want to know about its inner workings or its needs . Refrigerators shouldn 't even HAVE needs , for god 's sake . A refrigerator should just BE . First things first , I think . Who can I get to deal with this besides me ? How prescient of me to have called my housekeeper 10 minutes before opening the freezer . But I am too embarrassed to call her back . The next best candidate is my husband V . He 's not as experienced as my housekeeper . He doesn 't even own a set of power tools . But I think he 's handy enough to handle this . Only problem is that at this moment , V is sitting in an airport waiting to fly home . This leaves me . And kudos to myself - - for not shutting the freezer and leaving the horror movie untouched until V gets home . I could have done that with a clear conscience , too . Since this mess is his fault . ( see my favorite refrigerator magnet below . ) V is actually neat at heart , but he adds to the clutter by buying 3 of something every time I ask him to buy one . So we don 't have one bag of frozen strawberries . Or even 2 . We have 6 . I know we have 6 because I now take every single item out of the freezer . And I realize that in one sense , I was right about the horror movie thing - - what 's in our freezer is kind of scary . My daughter Alli always complains about the expiration dates on the food she unearths in our refrigerator . But there are no expiration dates on the food in the freezer . Because I would have to put them there . And of course I don 't . Does anyone actually do that - - other than Martha Stewart ? I don 't label anything with dates - - and even more unfortunate , I don 't label the contents . By the time I extract some of the bags today , I 'm not sure if I am seeing lasagna or pecan pie . We had a long power failure about 3 years ago so nothing can be more ancient than that - - - which means carbon dating is not called for . But it 's mostly not fit for human consumption . What bothers me are the irreplaceable items - - like an entire loaf of Jewish rye bread which cannot be found anywhere within 300 miles of where we live . Or the piece of birthday cake I saved when Daniel turned 18 two years ago . A few things are still salvageable . Like the brownies from a party two summers ago that I had stashed way in the back and forgotten . They 're no longer forgotten . So much for my post - Thanksgiving diet . So much for getting anything done this morning . By the way this time I did not make a list of everything I found . I also did not take a " before " picture of the horror movie scene before starting to clean up the mess . I think these are both good signs - - indicating emotional maturity and some remaining remnants of dignity . But there was one other sign . That lonely stuff on the shelf turned out to be the only thing that survived the disaster - - not one but 5 bags . Looks like another one of those messages I keep getting from the universe . Posted at 02 : 55 AM in Queen of Clutter | Permalink It 's almost midnight and we 're leaving tomorrow at 6 a . m . A few hours ago , V threw a few things into a bag and he 's good to go . By now he 's impatient to get some sleep - - and he doesn 't get why my clothes are spread all over our bed . Nor does he get why I am so bitchy before leaving on a trip . Even after 14 years of marriage . I approach packing like I do everything else - - at the last minute . And I have a system . I take out everything I might possibly want to bring - - - and then eliminate everything that doesn 't fit . That could either mean it doesn 't fit in the suitcase - - or doesn 't fit me . Which in my world , is a perfectly sensible reason to wait till the last minute . Thanksgiving presents special challenges . The Sees ' candy alone would fill up a whole duffle bag . At least choosing clothes is less painful than usual . In theory I could get away with nothing but sweats and pajamas . All our family does over Thanksgiving is eat and sleep . When we 're not eating or sleeping we 're on the couch in the family room . Possibly eating or sleeping there . To make myself feel a little less guilty for doing nothing , I knit . Actually this is another family tradition of our Thanksgiving . For me the main benefit of knitting is that It 's extremely difficult - - although not impossible - - to eat while knitting . Plus I think knitting might burn a few calories . It 's unlikely I 'll burn them in any other way this week . Right now I 'm trying to decide whether to bother bringing exercise gear - - since I know I won 't work out . I always bring it - - but I haven 't worked out yet in all the years I 've been going to my sister 's for Thanksgiving . The only exercise I 'm sure of getting over the holiday - - other than knitting or chewing - - is walking . . . . from the couch to the refrigerator , and back . I went out for coffee with the Republican football mom I wrote about yesterday . Turns out that do we have some things in common . And it turns out that the biggest difference between us is not politics - - it 's clutter . Juley is a clutter - phobe . She loves throwing stuff out . Whereas I am a clutter magnet . I 'm deep in debris . But I 'm also deep in denial . With the best of intentions , I open the door to clean up a closet and what I see is SO overwhelming that I slam the door shut . ( If that 's even possible with all the stuff in the way . ) Juley has to live with the results of the election - - - for at least four years . Whereas I don 't have to live with my clutter - - and she gave me a simple solution . ( She generously offered to come over and help me - - but I refused . I might spill my guts on this blog , but I do have some dignity . Even my closest friends are not welcome to view my closet . In fact , if his clothes were not there , I would keep V out of it . ) To clear out clutter , advised Juley , don 't look at the big picture . Way too scary . Just start with one corner - - and go from there . She even gave me a way to remember her advice , with an old line . How do you eat an elephant ? she asked . One bite at a time . ( I had the decency not to remind her that an elephant is the symbol of the Republican party . ) First paragraph : Researchers insist they can tell someone 's political affiliation by looking at the condition of their offices and bedrooms . Messy ? You 're a lefty . A neatnik ? Welcome to the Right . The country is filled with hope and promise . Change is coming - - and Obama has set the tone for how to make change happen . It won 't be easy , and it starts now . It 's time to survey the damage , roll up our sleeves , and get to work . To help him achieve change , Obama chose Rahm Emanuel as Chief of Staff . I 'm going to detour off my own train of thought just far enough to approve this choice . I think he 's uniquely qualified by experience and temperament - - the perfect complement to Obama himself . The son of an Israeli father who puts to rest the fear that Obama would not be a friend to Israel . Emanuel made my day when he said he is grateful that his parents are alive to see him become Chief of Staff to the first African American president . So he 's not just a pitbull , he 's a mensch . And so do I - - after weeks of ignoring everything around me except politics . I took my cue from Obama . I decided to survey the damage , roll up my sleeves and get to work . It 's not a pretty picture . Metaphorically speaking . The pile on my desk is so deep , I 'm not even making a list this time . And there 's more . The labels Daniel made are still pasted on the shelves in the refrigerator . But the eggs are dated September 28 . I 've been so busy following politicians that I 've lost track of celebrities . I 'm not sure which country Brangelina is currently living in . Or if Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are on or off . I haven 't cooked a meal in months . ( Which has absolutely nothing to do with the election . ) While I 've been obsessed , life has gone on without me . People had birthdays and I didn 't send cards . Babies were born and I didn 't send gifts . I didn 't even send the mirror I made as a baby gift for my niece 's twins , who are almost 10 months old . I 've been so bad at returning calls that some people have stopped calling . A few days ago , my sister resorted to contacting me via comment on my blog . Now that the election obsession is fading , other people are in the same boat . We face many challenges and we have a lot of work ahead . So with our president - elect as my inspiration , today I followed his lead . I surveyed the damage , rolled up my sleeves , and called Rahm Emanuel . I started this blog in honor of all the times I 've said : " I NEVER SIGNED UP FOR THIS " in the course of my life as a mother , breast cancer survivor , artist and TV journalist . My goal is to share the big and little things we all care about - - hopefully with humanity and humor . - - - - - - - DARRYLE POLLACK
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I am so sorry for the huge gap in posting ! My iPad could not link into my Dad 's wireless so I was without easy Internet access for a fortnight ! Yes I did feel like someone had cut off my right arm . We are having a great time in New Zealand even if Scarlett and I got to experience some pretty intense earthquakes on the 23rd of December . We are off on a road trip today heading south . . . List of great photo opportunities I hope . We had a lively Christmas . Scarlett was thoroughly spoilt and even with a combined luggage allowance of seventy kgs I still think we will be paying excess baggage ! I am really pleased that we have got all our presents purchased for family back home in plenty of time . I am going to take some with me and Tet will bring the rest when he arrives on Christmas Eve . I would like to say they are all wrapped and ready but that is a bit too organised . We will hopefully get that done tonight without the helpful nearly two year old . I have taken a picture of the finished printers tray Tet and I made for my Dad for his present . I used an Elle 's Studio kit but in the end we barely used the supplies included and relied more on the photos to tell the story . Scarlett is my Dad 's only grandchild and they have a really close and special relationship . I am really pleased to have created something that will remind them of this time together . Tet was my right hand measure and cut man . He is way better at getting a straight line from my trimmer than I am . I think I might have to take lessons ! We have been doing some last minute catching up before we go away . We all had dinner with one of the twins ( Scarlett 's best buddies in the whole world ) and their Mum , Lisa . We have hardly seen Lisa as she has recently started her residency to complete her medical training to become a paediatrician . 80 hour weeks and weekly 30 hour shifts which always involve no sleep and often no meal breaks make catching up hard . It was great to eat some sushi and catch up . Lisa is working Christmas so it will be a new experience for her little family having Mummy away on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day . I had better get moving and finish packing Scarlett 's suitcase and start packing my own - I only get whatever is left of the weight allowance once all her gear is packed . At this rate I will be buying a lot of clothes on holiday ! Happy Friday ! It is only four more sleeps until Scarlett and I head back home to New Zealand for the first time in 18 months . I have only just realised how many things I have to get done between now and Saturday afternoon . It is a little bit daunting to be honest . We made a real effort to do some fun things as a family over the weekend . Saturday 's visit to Little India was a great success and one of the malls along the road had a great outdoor playground . Scarlett had a wonderful time scaling the climbing wall and wooshing down the slide . On Sunday we split up - Tet and Scarlett did the grocery shopping while I had a pedicure . I think I got the better deal ! In the afternoon we headed down to one of the local malls as they had a live Sesame Street performance . Scarlett loves Ernie with a passion and she really enjoyed watching the characters dancing on stage . We had hoped to have a trip on the Singapore Flyer which has all been decorated for Christmas but sadly Scarlett had reached the end of her tether and we headed home . I have got a bit behind with completing pages of my December Daily and I have realised they do not photograph well at all . This is in no small part due to my using silver pen ! I have plenty of ideas for each day but no photos printed ! I am off to the mall this afternoon to get some photo paper and we will attempt to print some photos on our Pixma at home . I will let you know how that goes . I have finally taken a photograph of the layout I completed last week . I am really happy with how it turned out . I used an idea from Shimelle 's PPP again - combining spots and stripes although I think it is clear which way my heart lies . I am hoping to complete three days of entries in my DD today and to make my Dad 's printer 's tray from Elle 's Studio . The sad thing is my photos are all landscape and it is designed for more portrait so most of the cute notes and labels will not fit ! Hopefully I will work out a way to make something good . I know it is the monsoon in Singapore at present . I love the cooler temperatures - 28 as opposed to 34 is a very pleasant improvement . I do not even mind the rain but please let the all day rain stop ! I know I should not grumble . Today was lovely until about three . Currently the lightning and thunder are arriving at the same time and it is happening out both sides of the apartment . I do believe we are in the middle of a storm ! Foolishly I left taking photos of my DD and my most recent layout until after we got home from Christmas shopping . The light is nowhere near good enough so I guess I am going to try again tomorrow . Last night we hit Orchard Road to make some inroads into our Christmas shopping . We managed to buy Scarlett a couple more presents and her best buddies in the whole world had their presents sorted too . We oohed and ahhed at all the lights and monster Christmas trees and had a delicious dinner . We totally wore Scarlett out and she was carried home sleeping in Tet 's arms for the first time in a long time . After gym today we headed to Little India as my sister has specifically asked for some Indian bangles for Christmas . We found those after a lot of hot walking ! Good when someone is really specific about what they would like though . We also bought Scarlett 's Christmas day dress . I just love it ! Scarlett has slept on both car journeys to and from Little India so Tet is sitting in the car with her till she wakes up . He is playing Angry Birds so they are both happy . Our daughter has never transferred well from the car so we always are prepared with Ipad or magazines for these inevitable breaks . It has given me a chance to blog and to complete Day 2 of my DD . I am very grateful ! I am not sure if it is just me but December seems to have come around awfully quick this year . I have to admit I find this time of year a little disconcerting when we live away from our families . Either I constantly feel like I am missing something by being away or I am super excited to be heading home . This year is a heading home year ( we get home leave every two years ) and we are starting to get very excited . It is going to be a little strange to leave tropical Singapore for quake damaged Christchurch . At least it is Summer though so the weather should be ok . The Christmas lights here have been fabulous . The theme is blue and silver and they really do look magical . It is times like this that I am so grateful to live in the central city so we can easily walk to see them rather than having to brave the traffic . December first brings the start of the December Daily . I spent a wonderful two hours in Starbucks yesterday while Scarlett went to her weekly playgroup . I packed a SC crop bag full of Christmas stickers , chipboards and thickers and sat with my toffee nut frap and worked on my foundation pages . I got up to the 20th which is great as I am only going to Christmas day before swapping to my holiday minibook . I did get some odd looks but it was wonderful with carols playing in the background . . . I actually felt really in the festive spirit . To be honest , I have no clue what I will record from today . Our playdate friends are under the weather so we will not be going there . I might just pop down to the shops and take some photos of the decorations to get things started . I had hoped Scarlett might be happier having her photo taken with Father Christmas this year but sadly when we offered her the chance she clung like a limpet . I will try again when we return home but I think the big man in red is just a wee bit frightening for her . As you can see from the Christmas party last year tears were the order of the day ! I thought I might start the monthly task of goal setting on my blog . It always helps to be a little accountable for our actions ( or lack there of ) . This month I would like to : have all our presents bought and wrapped by the end of this weekend Here is a photo of Lake Ohau where we hope to spend some time this month from Alangrinberg . com . Can you see why I am getting excited ? Posted by I was sure I would have a spare minute to post over the weekend but it was not to be . We had some of our favourite people visiting from KL and they kept us entertained . Scarlett loves her honorary uncles and they make such a fuss of her . The best thing was they agreed to babysit Scarlett on Saturday night so that Tet and I could go out for dinner with friends . To put this in context , this is the second time Tet and I have been out in the evening since Scarlett was born 21 months ago . We were really excited ! Scarlett was less excited and in fact was a real monkey . We spent a lot of time trying to get her down before we left but she was not having a bar of it . So we left with her screaming . She continued to do this for quite a while and her uncles gave in and let her come out to the lounge . She watched half an hour of Happy Feet , ate a snack , had a drink and then asked to be put down in Mummy 's bed . She was still sound asleep when we got home . We had a fabulous evening with our friends K and P . They introduced us to their local wine bar . It was wonderful with an amazing range of wines . Even better though , they have the menus for all the restaurants in the area . We decided we felt like Thai and so we rang the restaurant and they delivered the food ( on china no less ) in less than 15 minutes . We had a great evening . They are wonderful company and we look forward to getting together again in the new year . I have definitely decided one of my resolutions for 2012 is to find a reliable babysitter and have a date night once a month . It makes us feel a bit more like the way we were pre baby . I think we could do with putting a bit more focus on us as a couple instead of just us as a family . SC have had their reveal this past weekend and I have been very restrained . I have not ordered a single add on - although I have picked up more than a few items in the shop . I have my fingers crossed that the box will arrive before I head overseas but suspect that hubby will be bringing things back for me . I will try and post a couple of layouts today or tomorrow - it all depends how long my daughter naps for and if she goes to bed easily tonight . Yesterday it was a short nap and a battle to get her to sleep at night so here is hoping she plays the game and lets Mummy get some crafting done ! Posted by I was planning on doing a post about the Black Friday sales today but overall they have not really rocked my world . I did pick up a few bargains at Studio Calico . They had an album I have been looking at marked down and some pens . I also used the sale as a chance to pick up some of the SC lines . I mainly went for the embellies and scrap tags . Pretty much things I can see me using with Project Life next year . Oh and I picked up one of the full sets of Mister Hueys which I am really excited about . I know I could have picked these items up cheaper elsewhere but I love the customer service at SC and I know what my postage is going to cost . When you don 't live in the US the sticker shock on postage can be amazing . Ofter as much as the items purchased , if not more . My wee dot was a great napper today after a lot of disruption around nap time . We had our air con units serviced which usually is a pretty quick process . We have had a bit of trouble with the unit in the master bedroom and they spent an age trying to get it spotless - without success . Long story short Monkey 's nap was over an hour late . She still managed to sleep for over two hours though which gave me a chance to check out the SC sale , eat some lunch and make a start on my December Daily . My DD is not going to be one of the works of art I see online . I do not have the stash , the time or the inclination to make something so elaborate to be honest . I am using the DD as a partial record of our trip home to New Zealand next month . I have also put aside an Amy Tan minibook to record the mini holiday we will be taking as a family while we are back home . The basis of my DD is one of Elise Blaha Cripe 's holiday books . I have been admiring her seasonal books for a while and I thought this would suit my needs perfectly . The 4 x 6 size also means that I can later add in full size photos as well as some instax prints into the album . I have been adding date numbers and the odd flat embellie to the pages . There are some envelopes inside too which I hope to find some special souvenirs to put inside . I am planning to take a fairly minimal kit of some EP and Simple Stories stickers and cards anf a Bo Bunny set of ephemera which has proved really useful already . I want to keep things fairly flat as I am going to be completing it on the go . EBC 's etsy store Elise Joy has lots of cool quirky art as well as her seasonal books . Well worth a look . I am also amazed at the response when I finally put a link onto the SC daily blog list . I had so many hits and was really encouraged by all the comments - I even have two followers now ! ( thanks ladies - you made my week ! ) . I will definitely respond to the comments over the weekend . We have Scarlett 's " uncles " coming to stay with us from KL this weekend and we cannot wait to see them . They spoil her rotten ! I am hoping to take a few photos and do a layout of the three of them together . This weekend is also all about making my Dad 's Christmas present . I purchased an Elle 's Studio thankful kit which I am adapting with photos of my dad with Scarlett on his visit to us earlier in the year . I have always wanted to complete a printer 's tray project so this is a good chance to do it . The first is based on one of Shimelle 's sketches from Pretty Paper Party lesson one . Please excuse the slightly washed out colours . It does have a washed out feel but not to the degree it appears here . I used the Studio Calico " Boardwalk " kit for this layout and I am really happy with how it turned out . It is not actually a wonderful photo but it is the only photo of all three of us from this holiday and I am glad it has been scrapped and preserved . Last night I completed another layout from Shimelle 's PPP . This time it was from the second lesson . This took a bit longer to come together as the combination of so many patterned papers really did take me out of my comfort zone . This one also used papers and embellishments from the Boardwalk kit along with some extra bits and pieces from a couple of the add ons . I am just so excited to have moved away from coloured card stock backgrounds with this class and have used some papers that , in the past , I would have shied away from . I know I have a long way to go with this craft but it gives me such pleasure to create something special with our photos and my wee girl just gets so excited to see her pictures in the albums completed in this way . It was the first time I have seen a production at the Esplanade Theatre and I was really impressed . It has wonderful acoustics , comfortable seats and great views from every seat . I knew it would be chilly and was very glad for my long sleeves . We were warned by signs and the ushers that the first act was about two hours long . It certainly did not feel like it ! The set was quite simple and costuming 20th century . The supporting cast were uniformly good with special mention to Chuk Iwuji who was remarkable as Buckingham . Kevin Spacey was simply wonderful in this role . He was a pleasure to watch . He was believable as a crippled , spiteful man with no conscience . I imagine walking with the twisted leg and brace must be fairly draining night after night . If you have the opportunity to watch this play do not hesitate . It is three and a half hours long including intermission but it felt much less . I am definitely going to make the effort to go to more theatre . I had forgotten how much I enjoy it . It feels like forever since I actually sat down and scrapped . All the stars aligned and I managed to have photos , the inclination and a sketch all printed out . Scarlett was napping so after I got the required housework out of the way I sat on my sofa ( my current favourite location to scrap ) and got stuck in . I have made a promise to myself to really make a dent in my first Studio Calico kit , Boardwalk , before I head away for the Christmas break . I have it packaged up in a SC crop bag along with the two add ons I purchased that month . I love the colours in this kit - it was the one that made me sign up for a sub after all . Having looked through it I felt it would work well with my beachy swimming photos . I got a swag of those printed last weekend . I decided the important thing today was to make a real start so I printed out the first two prompts from Shimelle 's Pretty Paper Party . There are a lot of seriously patterned papers in this kit so it all seemed to make sense . I liked the look of the final sketch from prompt one so sorted through my landscape pictures and found one of the three of us on our first trip to Bintan this time last year . It is not a great photo ( in fact my eyes are closed ) but it is one of the few that has all three of us from this time so I really wanted to have it scrapped . By the time Tet came home for lunch about 30 minutes after I started , I had the papers cut and adhered , the titles on and was looking for embellishments . Of course Monkey woke up just after we finished lunch so the layout is not quite finished . I am hoping to complete it tonight and get another one underway this evening after Scarlett has gone to bed . I always thought that the kits would simplify the process and they really made things fall nicely into place . Having said that , I have picked a few things out of my stash to add to the layout . I am also able to stop feeling guilty for having these kits arrive month after month without using anything from them . I totally love the Shimelle class prompts . They are full of great ideas and certainly give a novice scrapper like myself the confidence to have a go . I have also recently purchased Kelly Purkey 's Sketchpad and am hoping to try some of those sketches too . I will try and post two new layouts tomorrow . If I can get some pictures off the camera I might do a quick picture dump of our weekend . It was action packed ! Happy Monday ! We have had a very busy Sunday . It was sunny first thing , which is not a given when in the middle of the monsoon , so we got organised and took Scarlett to the Botanic Gardens to burn off some energy . We fed the fish and turtles and had a nice walk through the gardens . We headed down the road to Tanglin Mall for breakfast and came across the newly opened Brunettis cafe . This is apparently an institution in Melbourne and after eating breakfast there I can see why . They specialise in baked goods . . . particularly of the chocolatey , pastry variety . Cabinet after cabinet of all types of delicious treats - salted caramel macaroons , two types of chocolate croissants . . . fabulous . We were not there for sweet treats though . Tet ordered the Sicilian Eggs Benedict and I had the Truffled Scrambled Eggs . We both had a flat white and the monkey had a chocolate croissant and a vanilla milkshake . The food was excellent . Scarlett 's milkshake and croissant were received immediately upon ordering as were the coffees . The coffee was excellent and not badly priced . The croissant was decadent beyond words . Full of fondanty chocolate and the pastry was light and crispy . Her milkshake was also lovely . Sady there was a fairly long wait for the main orders but they were worth it . The truffled eggs were flavoursome and the mushrooms and grilled tomatoes were well cooked . It was served with some crispy bacon and a large slice of toasted farmstyle bread . It was a good sized portion . The eggs were a little more well cooked than I like but that is a small quibble in the overall scheme of things . The eggs bene looked lovely and I can only assume they were as Tet wolfed them down in short order without sharing . They were served on toast with ham and cheese to go with the hollandaise . We decided it would be rude to leave without trying some of the pastries . We are working our way through them at home . I will report further when we have tried them all . We were heavily involved in Scarlett wrangling during this meal so no photos I am afraid . I can defPosted by Sadly this week he has been in Jakarta . He left Monday morning and will arrive home again tonight after Scarlett has gone to bed . Usually Scarlett is better behaved for me when her father is away . Usually . . . . Scarlett has reached the stage of pushing boundaries - hard . She is particularly resistant to any restrictions put in place for her personal safety such as holding hands while crossing the street or wearing a seat belt while travelling in a taxi . This makes life challenging at the best of times . If you combine this with a week where she has ended up in my bed before midnight on three of the four nights it is a very tough week . I generally do not go back to sleep once Scarlett gets into bed with me . She is quite restless and flails around quite a bit while in bed . I am worn out . Yesterday took the cake though . Scarlett had had two showers by nine thirty as she decided to use her mango yogurt for a hair treatment . The floor got quite a generous helping as well . Thursdays are the day our cleaner comes so I try to take Scarlett out to give the cleaner a good run at things . Yesterday Scarlett fell asleep on the first part of our walk in her pram . She woke up just before I headed for home . She slept for maybe 20 minutes . When it came time for a nap . . . no go . Thursday is also play date day so we had to taxi to our friends ' house . She was pretty dreadful on the way there but controllable and spent most of the trip in a belt seated . On the return journey she refused to sit and was trying to crawl all around the cab . Cue some restraining from Mummy and ten minutes of screaming from Scarlett . It was horrendous and took all my strength to keep her held and safe . The long and short of it is I am having really major second thoughts about taking Scarlett back to NZ next month . I know she is going to fight being belted into her seat and I know that she more than likely will not sleep . I just do not think I have the energy to manage her for ten hours on the plane plus the two or more hours at the airport . This is compounded by the fact that my dad 's house is not very baby friendly at all which is going to make just daily life a real drama . It is all just starting to seem too hard . I had a bit of a meltdown on skype this morning to my poor husband who really cannot do anything about it from Jakarta . He wants me to have a weekend away from Scarlett so I can have a real clear head before I make any major decisions . I know I want to go home for Christmas but the thought of having a boundary pushing 21 month old in tow is just dismal . I have arranged to have lunch with 2 old friends and I know it is going to be awful as Scarlett expects the meal to end when she has finished . We have worked on that with her but at best she will tolerate about 5 minutes at the table before she starts to get boisterous . Maybe a baby free weekend will help but more likely I will just feel guilty . No one else seems to have these sorts of problems with their children . People always comment on how active Scarlett is and I am increasingly aware this is not a compliment . She totally needs to start school or do something away from me to give us both a break . Up to 22 hours a day in the same room as each other is just too much . Posted by Now I make no claims to being an excellent photographer . I do not have a DSLR camera . I have a nice little Sony point and click which takes a pretty decent photo and now that I have started to fiddle about with ISO and such can even cope with Scarlett at play . I take quite a few photos and we try and download everything off the camera and hubby 's phone weekly . We do a monthly album on facebook for all our friends and family overseas and that works really well for us . Printing pictures is a whole different kettle of fish . We have struggled to find anywhere very good in Singapore for photo printing . I am currently going to Harvey Normans and using their self print work stations but the quality is pretty hit and miss and it is surprisingly time consuming . The staff are really helpful but I need something better as we generally only get there every couple of months at best . By that time I have dozens and dozens of photos to print and it just takes forever . When you have a 20 month old forever does not work well . We have been looking at the selphy printers but they are a lot more expensive here than the States . I think one might be a necessity with starting Project Life . Does anyone else have this problem ? We have a Canon Pixma printer at home and have never tried to print photos on that . We probably should but I suspect the results might be disappointing . On the bright side I printed an 8 x 10 print of one of my current favourite photos of hubby and Scarlett . I love it because it shows how much they look alike and how much of a bond there is between them . I am off to the Studio Calico boards now for a bit of chat and to see the sneaks for December . Posted by To be fair we have been pretty busy . We took Scarlett to her weekly gym class this morning . She loves it and her two best buds were there too . They really do love playing together and it is good to see that Scarlett can hold her own with older , bigger boys . As she often does , she fell asleep in the car on the drive home so we continued driving to a mall to have some lunch and start our Christmas shopping . We had our usual sushi lunch and as always it was delicious . The teka ( tuna ) maki was really good - so much so that I had to order another portion . I then managed to buy Scarlett a gorgeous winter coat and cardigan from Zara . New Zealand summers are not always that warm and we are heading back to Japan in March so the coat will be useful for both trips . It really is a cute coat and purple is Scarlett 's favourite colour . I was getting a bit frazzled so my lovely husband took Scarlett off for an explore while I had 45 minutes of reflexology . Bliss ! I feel so much better for it . We have spent the rest of the day just vegging at home . We have watched some figure skating on TV and Scarlett has been playing with her jig saws . These have become her favourite toys again after a few months of ignoring them . Life is about to change for Scarlett . She is about to have her first session at a drop off play group on Wednesday . She has never successfully been left for anything . This is going to be a very interesting attempt as it is run at her gym by the teachers who she knows and loves . We are hoping to start her in pre school three mornings a week next year so this is the soft lead in . One morning a week for two hours . I know she can do it but she is a stubborn wee thing and if she decides she does not want to it could be a very long two hours . We were not initially planning to send Scarlett to school of any sort next year but we both definitely need some time away from each other . She needs more socialisation with other children and more opportunities to learn . I just need a little time to myself . We have not been apart for more than a couple of hours since she was born and while I don 't think I would change it we could certainly do with some separate time . Now if the principal of the school would just return my call so we can finalise that she has a place for next year we would be all set ! I am a SAHM to one daughter , Scarlett ( 3 ) , wife to the wonderful Tet . I love to travel , scrapbook and find fun things to do with my familyboth in Singapore and further afield . I am on the verge of dipping my toes back into paid employment . Join me on my latest Adventure in Singapore .
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1 ) 7 weeks left ! : D I cannot wait to meet this little girl ! Good Dr . appointment Tuesday so I 'm pleased with that . 2 ) Time with the family and friends . Aaron and I went to the park with Grace this week and I got to have a few friends visit as well . 3 ) Babies ! 2 friends who just gave birth to sons - both Levi 's . A friend pregnant with twins , a friend pregnant with baby # 2 ( they will be 14 or 15 months apart ) . And those who are faithful to trust what God says with more kids or when He says not right now . 5 ) Fourth of July ! This is seriously one of my favorite holidays . I 'm not super sure why although I do know that it was one of the first times Aaron hung out with my family and the day that he talked to my dad about marrying me ! 6 ) Wisdom . My husband is a smart guy . I love that he is able to gently correct my way of thinking and help me to understand his heart as well . He is an amazing man ! 8 ) Contentedness . There are a lot of needs / wants out there but I 'm thankful the Lord knows our true needs and supplies those . The rest can wait ! 9 ) Bibles ! We are $ 40 away from our goal to buy 500 Bibles for our teen center . I am SO thankful we were able to raise this money fairly quickly ! www . harvestyouth . org / wheatsale . htm ( as of this evening we have MET OUR GOAL ! ! ! ) 10 ) Music . I feel like lately I have had songs stuck in my head . Not always the best songs , but ones that sum up how I feel . I like that there seems to be a song track to my life constantly playing - helps me keep tabs on how I really feel : ) I love that picture . I think my little girl is so funny . I also love that she can bend completely over to color - I 'd fall on my head . I 'm content when she is happy and enjoying life . I need to be content when she is fussing and giving me a " hard time " . This too shall pass . I love hanging out with my family . There is something about watching Hubs and Grace interact that makes my heart happy . I am content when we are able to spend time together and enjoy each other 's company . I need to be content even when it feels like we don 't do this enough because of work , crazy schedules or tiredness . Again , this time is going to pass quickly and while I want to make sure we are enjoying it , I want to make sure we are enjoying it without nagging or pushing . I have an amazing family . My immediate family delights me . My husband is loving , caring and provides for me and has taught me so much about love . My daughter inspires me to be a better me . . . because even at almost 2 I am starting to see myself in her . I love that God gave me this reflection to teach me about myself and about the way that He loves me . I hope I am a reflection of Him . I had a post written . . . in my head . . . on Sunday . Yesterday I could not come up with anything worth typing . Today is just a quick update on life then back to my regularly scheduled programming . Baby is doing great . We had a Dr appointment this morning . Her heart rate is good , my blood pressure is good . It sounds like she is still butt - down but hopefully by my 36 week appointment will flip over . ( And lets just pray for face down this time too ! ) Work is going well . We 're doing a $ 5 Wheat Sale in order to raise money to purchase Bibles . We are able to get Bibles for $ 1 each that we can use as handouts for kids at our events or for Bible studies . We have $ 155 left to raise ! I 'm not sure what our next project will be but I 'm super excited that we are almost at our goal on this one ! If you 're interested in donating or learning more here is the link : Grace continues to do great in her big girl bed ! She found some glass ornaments on Friday night and broke them . Praise the Lord she was not cut or injured . She did have some pieces in her mouth ( which is bizarre because she normally wouldn 't eat something like that ) but apparently managed to crunch it up to tiny pieces so no cuts in her mouth and we 're assuming ( and monitoring for ) no internal cuts . And super thankful to my mom and friends who were able to give me wonderful advice , assure me that I was not the worst mother in the world , and point out what things I should be looking for to monitor her ! I was telling a couple friends yesterday that it has finally occured to me that I am having a BABY . I mean physically I 'm preparing for a teeny - tiny . . . itty bitty clothes are in the closet , the mattress of the crib is raised , I am thinking about newbie and size 1 diapers all over again . Mentally I think I had this image of the girls both being Grace 's age , playing together and not really changing life all that much . I 'm glad they don 't come out Grace 's size ( for the obvious reasons as well as the subtle ones ) . I would hate to miss that teeny - tiny phase even though it isn 't always super easy . I can 't wait to meet this little girl ! My family has been blessed with the opportunity to work with young people in the Dayton area . Aaron and I are directly involved in everything from running events at our youth center to managing the thrift store as an extra source of income to running Bible studies during the week . We are thankful to have been blessed with this opportunity to be missionaries in our own backyard . Aaron and I have recently set a goal to raise $ 2000 per month toward our family 's ministry . All donations go through Harvest Youth Ministries and are tax deductible . We love working with teenagers and are thankful that we have this opportunity . If you or anyone you know has a heart for teens or missions , please share this information with them . We are working toward raising 100 % of our own support would love to be able to continue doing what we love and use the ministry 's resources for more programs for the teens rather than to pay our salaries . I always say I 'm not going to complain because I am absolutely stoked to have and meet this kiddo but I am definitely ready for this baby to be out of me : ) She can stay in as long as she needs to in order to be healthy . . . but if she wanted to come early I wouldn 't complain much : ) Maybe all she really needs to do is drop , it 'd be nice to breath again ! ( Ok , and this made me laugh off a message board : Hey - we 're 8 months pregnant . We 're fat , we 're sweaty , we 're sore . Things are happening to my body I 've only seen in horror movies . ) I love that my little girl knows when she needs to rest . She usually goes very easily into her room / bed . She doesn 't always sleep right away but she seems to know when she needs downtime which makes bedtime and naps much easier on me ! I got a new work phone ! It is a pretty inexpensive one so doesn 't have all the cool gadgets and whistles . . . but the camera works so when I have this kiddo I can post some pictures ! Yea ! I 've read a couple blog posts recently about keeping it real as a momma . We were people before we had kids and are people with kids now - not " just " mom as some people tend to label us or we label ourselves . And NONE of us have perfect angel children . . . always nice to know : ) I have always had issues with Paul - I 'm not sure why but I don 't think I ever read much of what he wrote in the Bible with the same attitude he had when he wrote it . After doing the Beth Moore " Paul " study I feel like I understand him a LOT better ! 8 ) Photo wall ! One of my good friends is going to watch Grace tomorrow morning / afternoon . I will probably clean and take a nap : ) So excited ! She has three kids of her own - her youngest boy is going to marry Grace : ) Ok , I know stupid right ? But I LOVE Ovaltine ! I drink at least one glass a day . It started with Grace because I usually had a mocha in the morning but wanted to cut out caffeine . After I had her it didn 't make sense to just switch back to caffeine so I stuck with Ovaltine . . . I ran out the other day and was using chocolate syrup to make my morning beverage . . . it was GROSS . Hubs got me a new container of Ovaltine last night and I am one happy camper : ) I feel like , again , I have been in a hormonal funk the past two weeks . I think there are just a lot of things weighing on my brain right now from baby to work needs to caring for Grace to mentoring kids to focusing on relationships to taking care of myself . I am thankful for those of you who have continued to encourage me and spur me on . I always like to call it when I know I am acting irrationally because of hormones and PMS and I think that is really the majority of what the funk has been - but I also know that regardless of the cause if I don 't turn it over to the Lord I am not doing anyone any favors . Do you have thankfuls ? Write ' em down and link up ! ( Or just leave me a comment with your thankfuls , even if there aren 't 10 ! ) Is it bad that one day after posting my weekly goals I have ALREADY missed them ? I didn 't do my quiet time before I started working . I blame it on the fact that I spent the morning at the Verizon store and then wanted to make sure I was prepped for staff meeting . . . but excuses aside , really I didn 't make it ONE day ? I 'm lame . Ah well . I did get a new phone today . It would have taken two days to get the pink version so I went with black because my old phone was dead . . . but I did go with the pink cover so we 're good . Apparently my old phone would have been covered under warranty but there would have been some out of pocket expense due to excessive damage . . . at my house we call those 2 year old teeth marks , but whatever . : ) I 'm happy with it so we shall see ! I was also excited because my camera on my old phone didn 't work so now when the baby is here I 'll be able to take and post pictures of her from the hospital instead of having someone else do it or not having pictures up until I got home : ) The transition to the big girl bed has gone great for Grace ! I 'm VERY excited to see how well she is adjusting . When she wakes up in the middle of the night it is usually for a shorter ( quieter ) period and she has been sleeping in until about the same time . . . sometimes a bit later . Now when I tell her to get in bed she goes and gets in bed . She has done great for naps and bedtime although I think she is like me and just needs some " unwind " time before she actually falls asleep . We let her get up and get her books and be in her room . Occasionally she 'll cranky the radio up or I go investigate a large crash but her room is pretty toddler - proof ( now that I got that screwdriver out of there . . . ? ! ? ) so I don 't worry about her too much . I do love seeing her little toes under the door when she is ready to get out of bed . This morning when I went to get her up she had just put Elmo to sleep under her blanket . It was VERY cute . I always like weekends where I feel like I accomplished something . I honestly can 't remember Friday night right now but I think I spent most of it hanging out on the couch : ) Saturday I went out with my family ( mom , dad , sis ) for Father 's Day . Always fun ! I also hung up a bunch of family photos and " deep cleaned " my living room . I was going to post a picture but since it is also our play area it is covered in puzzle pieces at the moment ! Sunday I spent cleaning up , hanging with my husband and Grace and doing nothing . This weeks goals are : 2 ) Focus on the task at hand . If it is play time , I want to play with my whole heart . If it is work time , I want to focus and get it done to the best of my ability . If it is God time I want no distractions to invade my space . I am a terrible cleaner . No really , I mean , I do the surface stuff pretty well when prodded but I AM HORRIBLE at deep cleaning . No joke . In fact , I just printed off a list to follow for deep cleaning and just looking at it makes me tired . ( See List Here ) And if seeing it excites any of you , just leave me a comment we 'll schedule a time for you to come help : D Heh heh . Anyway , I am not a good deep cleaner . I am also not an organized cleaner . Often I didn 't do laundry until someone in the family was out of some crucial type of clothing OR the baby 's basket was overflowing ( why that one bothered me more than mine , I have NO idea ) . I also know that I have certain " triggers " that set me over the edge . For me it is dirty counters and dishes in the sink . I think for hubs it is piles of toys sitting around the house . How to solve this problem ? 1 ) Face the fact that at SOME point I am going to have to deep clean my house . 2 ) Come up with a way to stay on top of the daily stuff without going nuts . This is what I came up with : It hits all of the " will go off the deep end " areas on a daily basis , gives me structure for laundry and that madness and even reminds me to clean my child : ) I still don 't follow it exactly . . . for example , I hate to dust so usually I look at the box and think ' eh , next week . I know it defeats the purpose but dusting . . . really ? I also re - arrange my schedule based on what is going on . I know that Saturdays I am not usually home , Sunday is family day and Monday I am catching up with work and I have Bible study so those are my three " easy " days . Friday I stack the most on because once hubs is at work I figure there is no reason I can 't tackle the majority of it . She is also on a VERY serious coloring spree . These three papers are what she worked on today . Poor kid only gets 6 crayons at a time because I want to know where those suckers end up and make sure they ALL get put up . Also had a minor meltdown / stand off when I took the crayons away for coloring on a puzzle and the door frame ( they didn 't mark but I figure she has to learn ) . That part wasn 't so fun . But hearing " coats coats " for colors and seeing her focus on coloring all the way down to the corner does this mama 's heart good . And you 're not allowed to make funny of me but this is Baby 's sticker chart . As you can see , 9 weeks to go . Ok , fine , you can make fun of me . . . I have a countdown to wedding and countdown to Grace that look exactly like this : ) See that hateful half row at the end ? That is from when they moved my due date from August 11 to August 18 . I still think I 'm going to go early but I could be wrong ! ! :) We got to go to the pool last Saturday with the Huff family . First I love spending time with them - such an encouragement in my life ! Second Grace LOVED it ! We had such a good time ! My neighbor brought me a plate of peanut butter cookies ! We have been enjoying them . It is nice to ( finally after four years of living here ) get to know our neighbors ! 4 ) Big Girl Bed ! Hubs and I decided to move Grace to a big girl bed ( twin bed ) instead of converting her crib to a toddler bed or doing two cribs . I know there will be some challenges ( thanks Super Nanny - only had to put her back in bed 3 times for nap today ) but last night she did great and she seems really excited about it . The crib won 't leave her room so she 'll be ready for when the baby is here ! I 'm thankful that I feel completely prepared for this baby to get here . I feel like there are still a few little things to do but nothing that needs to be done NOW to be ready . Beds are good to go , I feel mentally prepared , I have some people lined up to help with Grace as needed and I 'm excited to meet this little one ( and FINALLY tell you all her name ! ) I feel like we have had a lot of family time this week . Tuesday night we spent time just playing , Grace and I have been able to go parks and on other outings . I don 't know , I just like the feeling of conectedness right now ! I was reading a blog earlier today and the poor woman is getting completely beat up for being faithful to what God has called her to do . It breaks my heart that her readers feel like she has to explain herself for every life decision regardless of the circumstances . It is that kind of stuff that makes me want to move to a compound with my like - minded friends and cut off contact with the world ( which would probably not be trust or obedience : ) I know that I have gotten many questions about our family - which cracks me up because even before asking about what we think about birth control and what not I get - are you guys going to have 10 kids ? are you trying to keep up with your in - laws ? do you watch that show . . . ya know , the 25 kids show ? It isn 't that I mind answering the questions , I just wish they came from an attitude of understanding not of condemnation . I want to reply : right now I have TWO kids and I am almost 27 years old . . . what is unreasonable about that ? I think that lately there has been a lot of things that have come in as personal attacks - personal , work , beliefs , whatever that just got me thinking . I have been called to TRUST and OBEY . Not rationalize and skirt issues , not over - analyze and be paralyzed , not hide and fall short . I know I have a long way to go , but for me and all those who have been called to TRUST AND OBEY I pray that we continue our journey without fear of what those around us with think and say . Trust and Obey : This song just came up on my iTunes . I first heard it when I was on a mission trip in Mexico with Back to Back Ministries . Love it ! Hubs and I decided that instead of doing two cribs we are going to move Grace to a " big girl " bed ! I am a little nervous about this transition but Aaron thinks she will LOVE the big girl bed and do just fine with it . I ordered bedding today ( see below ) so hopefully we 'll start making the move this weekend ! I want to have her in a routine before the baby gets here : ) Posted by I have had two run - ins with the evil jealousy monster this week . I HATE IT ! In my head I 'm going ME ME ME , MINE MINE MINE but deep in my heart I know that I have everything I need and am already blessed with so much more . What is it about humans that see something someone else has been blessed with and instead of thinking " that 's awesome " we think " what about me ? ! ? " . Frustrating ! I had a long chat with hubs last night about all the wonderful things in our life . We sat on the porch with a steak grilling and just talked . It was delightful . Here are some things that I would not change for all the money or things in the world . . . 5 ) My family is amazing and loving . They don 't judge my house , my parenting , my lifestyle ( OK , they think not being on birth control ever is weird , but whatever ! ) , my friends or my faith . In fact , they support the vast majority of it . 1 ) Buy Used When It Makes SenseI buy used clothing for her ( Once Upon A Child , Kidz Again ) when it makes sense . Their prices are NOT always great and the clothing will NOT always last for multiple children which are the things I consider when buying at these stores . Yesterday I spent $ 15 on the items above . The red halter dress was $ 2 . 25 , the pink dress was $ 3 . 50 , the jumper $ 3 . 25 , the shorts and shirt $ 2 . 75 and the PJs were $ 1 . 75 . The only thing that might not last for multiple kids would be the pajamas but I figure that $ 1 . 75 is worth it for Miss Grace : ) 2 ) Watch Clearance RacksThis takes a little more time / effort . Whenever I am at a store that I know regularly discounts kids clothes I always stop by that section even when it is just a quick trip in . WalMart and Target have the BEST marked down clothes that I have found so far and Meijer occasionally has some good discount prices . My favorite score was a three piece newborn set from Target for $ 2 . 25 - Carters brand too ! I recently bought Grace and the baby matching dresses for next summer for $ 5 each . . . which is more than I like to spend but since they matched and I have a bit of baby fever I did it anyway : ) 3 ) Don 't Be PickyAnytime anyone wants to give me used clothes I take them . They don 't always get to my kid 's body - some go to the thrift store , stained things go in the trash but usually if people are willing to give it to you there is some decent stuff in there ! ( Always ask if they want them back when your kid grows out of them first . . . if they do , store the stuff that you don 't plan to use ) . 4 ) ThriftI HATE thrift stores for me . In fact , I hate shopping for me . I figure I have a hard enough time finding things I like that fit well that I don 't want to shop racks of clothes to find the " right " thing then not be able to get it in the right size . Bugs me ! But for kids it is great ! I comb the racks , find the things in her size and up that will work and we are good to go ! 5 ) Buy Ahead of the Size / Season You 're InI have conditioned myself to ignore clothing right at the beginning of summer . That is when all the super cute , bright new clothes come out in all the stores . Instead I wait a few months and hit the clearance racks . When I do I MIGHT buy for this season depending on what she already has and what holes need to be filled in , but USUALLY I buy for the next season and a size up . My kid wears a TON of dresses if you haven 't noticed . They are great for the summer and I usually try to make sure the ones I buy can easily be layered with a long sleeved shirt and tights / leggings for the winter . Then , buy adding just a few items I have an easy summer or winter wardrobe for her . Especially now when she is going through sizes so fast the more I have that can just be layered the more sense it makes ! 6 ) Plan Ahead For Special EventsI 'll admit it - there is a dress at Once Upon A Child that I pull out EVERY time I am there that I am kind of coveting . I * think * it would be the right size at Christmas but I 'm not sure yet so I haven 't splurged ( even used it 's still out of my normal price range ) . Last year I found Grace 's Christmas dress in July I believe for around $ 4 . 50 . I found her birthday dress last year for about the same price . ( This year 's birthday dress was $ 5 . 50 I believe ) . By keeping in mind special events and picking up pieces at great prices when you see them you avoid the " oh crap I have to get something TODAY that fits and is awesome " . . . which usually costs $ 20 - $ 25 . One of my Attic girls recently commented that my kid had a TON of clothes . And she is right , the girl has more clothes than she really needs BUT I figure if I can keep the cost way down then she can have a little extra ! Like every mom , I want the best for my kid and these are some of the ways I 've found to give her the best as far as clothing goes ! I have gotten a LOT done today . It has also been my whiney day - I told hubs that I 'm starting to feel this pregnacy a lot . . . mainly in my hips which was to be expected but I don 't remember feeling it THIS much with Grace . Fortunately , 9 weeks 6 days till my due date and I can do it ! I 'm a machine ; ) 1a ) Wake up BEFORE the kiddo does and lay in bed until she starts babbling . Listen to her babble until it is obviously she would like to be out of bed . ( Thanks to Stephanie and the Huff kids for wearing her out at the pool Friday night ! ) This week hubs and I took Grace to the park to run around a little bit . I think parks are the BEST setting for some awesome pictures . She cooperated for the most part . He , however , did not . Let 's see , other funnies . I have now locked myself out of the house TWICE in a bathing suit with the baby . Fortunately this last time I had my phone and my dad was willing to come rescue us . One of the girls from the Attic had to lead a Bible study . So she did the " I am the vine " verse and tied in the fruit of the Spirit . Then at the end she told everyone she had a song to play and to close their eyes and really listen to the words . . . and played this . . . I 'm such a good influence : ) Finally , in not so funny news I got a text this morning from one of my all - grown - up Attic kids . She is married and has a one year old . . . she just found out today she is pregnant with twins ! She is 7 weeks and had an ultrasound this morning . . . the Doctor said they are in separate sacs and the heartbeats look strong but obviously that is still pretty early . Also my good friend Mark told me his daughter is pregnant . This is her third pregnancy and she has not yet been able to carry to term . She is now 12 weeks which I think is pretty far for her and so far everything is looking good . 2 ) I 'm thankful for my husband , date night and his awesome sense of humor . After dinner we went to a friend 's house and ding - dong - ditched . Haven 't done that since I was 10 . It was pretty funny . 3 ) I 'm thankful for garage sales , used kid - stuff stores and generous people ! I have already been asked what we need for this baby and after today I think I can honestly say nothing but diapers ! We have been given a crib and crib mattress , we 'll use Grace 's infant seat then I got a seat today for $ 12 that she can move into when the baby is ready to move into hers . I found a booster seat for $ 5 . And I think that was everything on my mental list : ) 4 ) I 'm thankful for time to hang out with my two closest friends this week . I think we 're going to the pool on Friday and then a graduation party on Saturday ! Woohoo ! I haven 't seen either of them in awhile so it 'll be nice to catch up ! 6 ) I 'm thankful for this Christmas - like feeling that is coming over me . I always said with Grace that having a baby was like knowing Christmas was coming but not knowing what day it was going to be . As we are getting closer that feeling is starting to grow again ! 7 ) A happy healthy little girl . She is such a joy ! I do think I need to start some tougher parenting because she does know more than I give her credit for sometimes . . . more on that later . But she has such a sweet disposition and I think she is a delightful little girl . I love when she takes my hand to show me something . Yesterday she would not stop jumping on me . . . it was super cute , she loves her mommy ! 8 ) Bible study with one of my girls this week ! It was the first time she led a Bible study and she did a great job ! I know she was nervous but I was so proud of her ! ! ! 9 ) Lots to do this weekend . Between hanging out with friends , finally cleaning my bedroom and catching up on the house I have a full list of things to accomplish . I 'd also like to do another sewing project , I just haven 't had the time lately ! 10 ) Another day . I 'm thankful when a new day comes and I get to try again to be a good wife , good parent , good friend . . . I 'm glad that although my mistakes are not erased every day feels like a fresh start . . . a chance to make things right and keep going . I pray I never take my days for granted . I haven 't posted in a couple days - always makes me feel like a slacker ! : ) It was a busy weekend . I made 2 cakes ( 4 mixes , a tiered cake and a double ( the normal homemade size ) sheet cake ) . Then I decided I hated them and started over . Lots of cake this weekend . In that process my house got ignored , my blog got ignored and unfortunately so did my Bible ! Sooo , since we are doing a study on how to study the Bible on Monday nights AND I 'm a Bible reading slacker I figured it 'd be a good post . Sometimes I use a study guide for reading the Bible . It helps me to stay focused and the variety of topics keeps me interested . I am a HUGE fan of Beth Moore and am currently working on her Paul Bible study . Essentially with this one and all of her 90 day books you read a short section of scripture , answer a couple questions , she elaborates and the gives room for further thought and prayer . I really like these because I like filling stuff out - it makes me remember what I am learning and makes me put thought into it ! 2 ) Using Shepherd 's Notes On this one it is more a chapter by chapter study of a particular book of the Bible . They give an overview of the entire book and then you 'd read a chapter the read the corresponding notes . Think Spark Notes for the Bible . They also include three questions at the end of each chapter so again , I feel like I learn more when I write down my answers although they are a great reference as well . Occasionally I 'll get motivated to do a group study like Experiencing God but that is still a day - by - day study that you just get together and talk about . I don 't think getting in my Bible JUST once a week is enough for me so I like things that keep me in it during the week . This one is set up for 5 days a week which would work great for me because I 'm terrible about doing quiet time on the weekends . Occasionally God will knock me over the head with a verse and I can get it out of my mind . Then I use sources like StudyLight . org to look up the greek / hebrew words , figure out what the originally meant then retranslate it back into what it means to me . My favorite example is the " Do everything without grumbling and complaing " verse in Philippians . Did you know that meant EVEN IN MY HEAD ? ! ? ! ? That verse just got a lot harder ! For myself I am not a fan of the " read the Bible in a year programs " because I get VERY checklist - y and get so that I may have read it but I didn 't spend any time trying to understand it . I also try to stay away from reading books about God / Christianity / The Bible exclusively because I feel like it is important to read God 's word directly too not just what other people think about it . ( That being said I do read those books , but in addition to Bible reading , not instead of ) . Anyway , that is an overview of some of the methods that I use to read the Bible . Usually when I finish a particular study or type of study I move on to something else to make sure I am staying in the word and keeping it varied enough to keep my attention . Again , I like to write things out but maybe some people would like to draw what they learned - to each his own as long as we are being faithful right ? We recently moved the majority of Grace 's toys to the cabinet under the TV . It helps her get fewer out and keeps them out of sight when she 's in bed ( and I 've remembered to pick them up ) . Almost every day she opens the cabinet ( which was locked before ) and says TOOOOYS ! Like she completely forgot they were in there . It cracks me up ! Lets see , other funnies ? She recently found her shadow and thinks it is the best thing ever . And I 've changed my mind - I want twins ! I have two almost two years olds entertaining each other in my living room while I type this . . . almost an hour now and happy as can be ! ( Ok , I 'm sure it wouldn 't ALL be this easy but a girl can dream ! ) . I 'm debating taking them with me to the grocery store . . . that might kill my little fantasy world . This has been a rough week - Grace has a molar coming in ( I think ) , work has been crazy and I haven 't been feeling great . Nothing wrong with me or baby , just tired , slow and frustrated a bit at my tired slow - ness . But there were some thankfuls in it all ! 1 ) A baby pool for my cute little girl ! She has been outside in a pool for the past 5 ( ? ) days ! Love it ! I wish we had a better pool or play place to take her to , but part of me is hesitant to spend too much time in the sun and part of me always feels guilty for being " away " from my desk during the day . 2 ) A boss who 's wife has been pregnant 7 times so when I start crying during staff meeting because I am THAT mad at a band he doesn 't bat an eye . Gotta love it . ( It was nothing he or anyone else on staff did , a band made me look like an idiot and I was MAD ) 3 ) A buddy for my kiddo tomorrow . I am watching above said boss ( also my father in law ) 's youngest daughter tomorrow . . . she is 6 weeks older than my daughter so I 'm HOPING they play well together and I 'm able to accomplish everything on my list . Glad I got most of my errands run today ! : ) 5 ) A chance to rock my kiddo to sleep this week . She 's been having a rough week . She also had a hard time falling asleep tonight so her daddy went in and loved on her for awhile - I love seeing the two of them together . 7 ) My adversion to chocolate is over . I 'm so excited I can eat chocolate again . I know , I 'm lame but I really like chocolate . I 'm actually thinking about baking a cake as I type . . . but then again , the doc already warned me about oreos , I don 't want to get another speech next week ( my weight gain is still at a healthy place , just a big jump that month ) . 8 ) A new baby to prep for ! I feel like I 'm ready to go but there are still a lot of little things to do . Clothes are out , the pack and play is ready , we have a crib and crib matress coming . . . still worried / concerned about breastfeeding but we 'll see how that goes ! 9 ) Sleep . I 'm going to bed early tonight . It is amazing how that extra hour of sleep keeps me more energized . . . and with two almost two years olds tomorrow I 'm going to need it ! I hate waking up frustrated . And I guess I wasn 't frustrated when I woke up but it didn 't take me long to get there . A couple emails of " well , it wasn 't MY fault " , a daughter who does not like correction , a sink of dishes and a floor that desperately needs swept pushed me over the edge . It 's my fault . Well , maybe not all of it . If I hadn 't ignored my chore list again it wouldn 't have gotten this bad . If I hadn 't read blogs about moms who 's kids clean their house I probably wouldn 't have started comparing . If the emails hadn 't felt like a personal attack I probably wouldn 't have taken it so personally . If I remembered that cleaning and organizing were a ministry to my family and not something to check off the dishes probably wouldn 't have bugged me . I was at work the night I went into labor . We got done with the " work " part of the night and were tearing down tables and chairs , cleaning up , etc . I was having contractions but wasn 't sure they were " real " . . . finally about an hour later ( 12am on Wednesday morning ) I decided I needed to get home , figure out what was going on and get prepared . ( I do remember telling one of my coworkers that if I could clean while having contractions he could certainly get off his butt and lend a hand . . . that must have been the hormones talking ) . When I got home and told hubs I thought I was in labor he told me he was going to bed and to wake him up when the contractions were close enough to go to the hospital ( this was 5 days after my due date . . . a Wednesday , I was scheduled to go in to be induced Friday morning ) . Of course my paranoid self wasn 't sure when I should go so I bounced on the exercise ball , timed the contractions and tried to mentally prepare , walked up the stairs about three times to wake him up but kept turning around . . . my bag had been packed weeks before : ) . Finally I woke him up around 4 : 30 and told him I thought maybe it was time and he asked if I had called the hospital . I talked to some on - call Doctor and told him my contractions were about 5 minutes apart . He said , yes , yes come in you are a - gonna have a baby ! ( I have no idea what nationality he was but it made me laugh pretty hard ) . So we went into the hospital , did the admissions thing , and went up to be monitored . It seemed like we were in there forever but at this point I was NOT leaving without having a kid ! Finally they moved us into a delivery room . Sometime in the morning - maybe 7am or 8am they started me on pitocin because I wasn 't progressing very quickly . I think around that same time we finally called my mom - we figured we had plenty of time and might as well let her sleep . I waited until she got there to have an epidural because Aaron specifically said he did NOT want to be in the room when that happened and I did want to go as long as I could without medicine . . . but I also didn 't want to remember just intense pain so I was willing to take the drugs . It took a half hour or so after she got there to get the medicine - I remember she stood by the monitor when I had a contraction and said " oh my , that was a rough one " or something to that effect . . . Aaron , quietly , said " yeah , she doesn 't really like it when you give her the play by play . " ( I had mentioned to him earlier that I could feel them and didn 't really need the comments ! ) Good husband . I started crying like a school Lets see , finally at 6pm on the nose Miss Grace emerged into the world ! They cleaned her up real quick while I got stitches ( I tore pretty bad and by the way , local pain meds would have been welcome . . . ouch ! ) and then handed her over to me . She was BEAUTIFUL ! And I remember thinking that although it hurt a lot and wasn 't a walk in the park I would do it again in a heartbeat for this little girl .
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At first , I joined reluctantly : I would much rather " waste my life away " , as mother dramatically accused me of , with a novel . But face it ! When the two of them returned from their separate errands , both beautiful and smelling of the same perfume - the flirtation of all the men still echoing in their voices - I would be a major " dura " to resist the temptation of their company . And the stories , the day 's gossip - the life force pumping through the street of our town - seemed more titillating than my mother 's romance novels ( through which I , when home alone , would rummage and then re - hide them in the cupboards of her bedside stand ) . Now : Our neighborhood wasn 't really happening . Someone would die , occasionally , after drinking too much . Someone else got married , before an accidental pregnancy showed . Both the town 's funerals and its weddings could be attended by anyone . For Russians , it 's bad fucking karma to turn guests away ! So , as processions crawled through the main roads ( not many Russians owned cars , not in those days ! ) , neighbors joined in ; because at the end of either line , they 'd find free food . And what 's more important : Vodka ! Breathlessly , I listened to the women 's stories , never putting my two kopeks in . Assigned the most menial jobs in the kitchen , like peeling of potatoes or sorting out grains of rice , I kept my head down and worked my ears overtime . At times , the exchange of information was packed with details so intense and so confusing , it hurt my brain to follow . Still , I tried to comprehend in silence because asking either my sis or mother to repeat - was borderline suicidal . " Now , mamotchka ! " ( Marinka was already notorious for kissing up . She 'd learned how to work our mother 's ego . ) " Have you heard about Uncle Pavel ? " The way my sis was blushing now , in the opal light of fall 's sunset , solidified that she was rapidly turning into her mother 's daughter : A stunner , simply put . The prospects of the townswomen 's matchmaking had already begun coming up at the dinner table ; and every time , Marinka turned red and stole sheepish glances at our father . There was no way around it : She was easily becoming the prettiest girl in town ! Not in that wholesome and blonde Slavic beauty way , but an exotic creature , with doe eyes , long hair of black waves and skin the color of buckwheat honey . Marinka carried on . " I got this from Ilyinitchna , " she gulped . She 'd gone to far , corrected herself : " Anna Ilyinitchna , I mean . " ( The tone of informality common for most Russian women was still a bit to early for Marinka to take on . But she was getting there : Whenever she joined our mother 's girlfriends for tea , she was permitted to address them with an informal " you " . ) Mother was already enticed . " What ? ! What 'd you hear ? " she wiped her hands on the kitchen towel and turned her entire body toward my sister . " He and Tatiana 's daughter … " There , Marinka took notice of me . She looked back at our mother for a go - ahead . The silence was thick enough to be cut with a knife . I pretended to not have heard anything . Sis ran her nails to tame the fly - aways by pushing them behind her ears . Her hair was thick and gathered into a messy construction on the back of her head . Ringlets of it escaped and clung to her sweaty neck . Whenever mother spoke , I noticed the tension Marinka 's shoulders - a habit of a child who took on a regular beatings from a parent . In boys , one saw defiant thoughts of brewing rebellion . But it looked different in girls . We had to bear . It could take decades to grow out of oppression . Some women never made it out . They would be transferred from the rule of their parents ' household to that of their husbands ' . Forgiveness already started seeming too far - fetched . Marinka blushed again . Lord , give us the courage ! " He and Tatiana 's daughter were seen having dinner together in the city . He took her to a rest - aur - ant ! " She slowed down , for effect : Dining at Soviet restaurants was NOT a casual happening . " And she was dressed like the last whore of Kaliningrad . She now wears a perm , although I 'm sure it 's not her parents ' money that pay for it . " Sis was on a roll . " I mean you see how Tatyana dresses ! The thing she wore for her husband 's funeral ! A woman of her age should watch such things ! " It felt like something lodged inside my throat . Was it words ? Or a hair - thin bone from a sardine sandwich from my breakfast ? Although I didn 't understand the situation completely , I knew it wasn 't something that left my brain untarnished . Marinka shot another stare in my direction . You 'll break your eyes , I thought . Oh man , I wanted to get out of there ! Blinking rapidly to remove the layer of forming tears - the shame ! alas , the shame of it all ! - I fished out the next wrinkled potato from the iron basin at my feet and hurriedly scraped it with the dull knife . " The apple doesn 't fall too far from the tree , " mother concluded . Marinka chuckled , fear freezing her eyelids into an expression of panic . The clock of her girlhood had stopped its final countdown . " My stomach is allergic to that other peasant crap ! " She , of course , was referring to the bricks of wheat bread that dad and I could devour kilos at a time , given enough garlic and salt . " And why don 't you take the small one with you ? Keep her from getting under my feet ? " Before I removed my ear plugs I 'd made from cotton balls , I studied the handsome man 's face . He - was my father . Floating above me , nearly at the ceiling , as it seemed , he reminded me of those romantic leads in the old , black - and - white Soviet films : usually some Labor Hero or the best and the brightest of the Party for whom love always arrived after success , and always in a form of the least likely - somewhat homely and nerdy - girl . Dad 's eyes were radiating with tanned wrinkles . His lips were resisting the type of a grin that happened whenever he tried his damn hardest not to act amused at my expense . " A smoking break ? Well . Yeah , sure . " I shrugged one of my shoulders , slipped the index fingers in between the pages of The Master and Margarita , and placed the book face down . ( All the reading for our Literature Class I had completed back during my summer at the Pioneer Camp . Since then , I 'd been reading everything I could find in my parents ' library , in alphabetical order . Considering I was still making my way through " B 's " , I hadn 't gotten too far . But it took no more than a few chapters to know that this novel could get me into serious trouble . ) With one of his forearms , dad moved the tulle curtains and looked out of the window . " Ooh . Yeah , " he nodded . " You 're right . Looks like it might rain . " I knew that . Lying down on the floor , on my stomach , I was already fishing for the matching rain boot under our bunk bed . In secret , I was hoping that my shoe , of boringly dull rubber , had been lost forever and that I would get to wear Marinka 's pair : They were all shiny , with bright flowers ; almost brand new and made in the very exotic country of China . But the dark thing in the furthest corner turned out to be my missing rain boot . That 's alright , I thought . I will inherit the Chinese pair in no time ! Shaking the last of the dust bunnies from my abandoned rain boot , I felt a flurry of butterflies in my stomach . Dad chose me ! He could 've gone alone - but he chose my company ! The days of his endless travels were long gone . The furthest he would depart these days would be to work on blown over phone lines that connected his Army Unit to what I assumed to be the Kremlin . Still , every evening , the man looked for an excuse to stay out of the house . Smoking was one of them . As I began to mold into a serious runner at school and refused to wear dresses ( besides my mandatory school uniform ) , dad and I began venturing out on walks . Perhaps it was because my funny predisposition tickled my old man . Being outnumbered had to be an already rough reality long before all three women of our household began menstruating on the same schedule . So , I imagine it was a bit of a relief to discover that at least his youngest offspring could wish for no better occupation than to climb trees , outrun boys ; bang nails into drywalls , go fishing or take endless walks through the town . And to make our likeness even more daunting , I wasn 't one to talk much either . Dad 's gait , always evenly paced as if he were marching in the Red Square parade , felt rushed . Normally , he was more aware of the patter of my feet , echoing his own footsteps . But that day , he was moving faster than I expected from our typical " smoking break " . In parts , I 'd had to jog a little to keep up . " Well . That 's understood , " I said , then zipped up my windbreaker and got ready to continue jogging , as if on a mission this time . This business of mother 's needs was to be taken seriously . Even I had learned that , by then . It had become somewhat of a tradition between the two us to huddle up in her bunk bed at night ( until she 'd left for college , Marinka would always have the top ) ; and for hours at a time , we flipped through the albums of black - and - white family photos , while Marinka told me the stories that predated me . The stiff pages of teal cardboard smelled like the chemicals from the darkroom . Lying on my stomach , I studied the contours traced by Marinka 's fingers , until my elbows became sore . In the year of Marinka 's birth - 1967 - the Soviet Union was peaking towards its highest glory . My sister was lucky to be born with a promising future of the citizen of the " Best Country in the World " . But in exchange for that giant favor , our dear Motherland claimed the life our father . Well , not literally , of course : This isn 't your typical sob story , of vague third - worldliness , in which the parents die off too young , leaving their poor children seriously messed - up for the rest of their lives . Dad just had to work a lot , that 's all . So , Marinka wasn 't exposed to a fatherly influence during those tender , formative years . At that point Marinka would realize she 'd gone too far - after all , I was only six years old - and clumsily , she changed the subject : " Ugh ! Stop groping my photos so hard ! You 're gonna leave a mark ! " I sat up into an imitation of her cross - legged position . The secret was to wait for Marinka 's temper flares to fizzle out . In response to his woman 's nonsense , father would smile discretely ; and mother would have no choice but take his word for it . No , wait . Considering the man never spoke much , it was his silence that she had to trust . And if dad were a cheating , lying scumbag , like the likes of his coworker Uncle Pavel - a handsome , salt ' n ' pepper haired player with a mustache of a Cossack - he could 've gotten away with it . I mean , the man was gone all the time . No matter the town or the city in which the family settled ( for half a decade at the most ) , soon enough dad would go off to the same place called " the Polygon " . Marinka considered . " Nah . If she did , I never saw it ! " Out came the photo of mother surrounded by her colleagues , laughing at the camera . What else was the woman to do ? After about a week of her spousal absence , mother would begin going over to her girlfriends for dinner nearly every night . Sometimes , Marinka came along . But on Saturdays , all the women dressed up and went to a discoteca , leaving my poor sister to her own devices . " Oy , no ! " I tried my luck at flattery . " But who 'd change your diapers then ? " I knew my time was running out , and soon enough Marinka would get bored by my endless questions . Sure enough , " You idiot ! " sis scoffed . " She waited until I grew out of them before she started going out ! " For a moment , we both studied mother 's graduation portrait in which she , a Komsomol member , looked like that one actress from Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears . " You 're so dense sometimes , Irka , I swear ! " " Get out , I said ! " sis flipped out . A person of great impatience , she really did inherit mostly my mother 's prickly predisposition . ( I , of course - was my father , reincarnated . ) " And look at your feet ! " Marinka squealed if she got a glimpse of my sandbox activities marked all over my soles . " I 'm so telling mom ! " I don 't know about the rest of the world and its children - who , as our Motherland promised , did NOT have as happy of childhoods as we did - but Marinka 's telltale threats were worse than , say , the warning of the nuclear attack from America . Mom was the biggest disciplinarian around town ! Or maybe even in the whole of the Soviet Union ! Sometimes , Marinka did manage to tell on me . But with age , I 'd gained enough escape routes from the house , to never let my mother 's disciplinarian belt to graze the skin of my ass . If worse came to worst , I climbed out of our kitchen window and hid in the giant pear tree , in the garden . No one but armies upon armies of honey bees was ever much interested in that giant monster anyway . In the summer , they flunked the heavy branches of sour fruit . But for the rest of the year , that pear tree made an excellent hiding place . Besides , from an early age , I had noticed the difference in the athletic predispositions between the women of our family . That is to say that my mother and sister had none ! I , on the other hand , was the best son that father could ever desire ! I could run faster than any of the boys in my elementary school , and had scabs to show for it . Playing with my sister 's girlfriends didn 't interest me in the least , unless , of course , they were jumping rope . Then , I was like a grasshopper gone berserk inside a glass jar . And nothing transcended me into a better sense of zen than to climb trees and to organize and reorganize my father 's tool box , over and over again . " Bad news from Baykalsk , " Inna overheard from where her mother had run off , to hug her handsome , uniformed husband . The hush among the other awaiting passengers meant that mother 's emotional outburst earned her the desired audience , yet again . Her legs below the pink - lavender skirt appeared shapely ; and her heels , that lifted out of the boats of the red stilettos , as reached to kiss her man , were round and soft . As Inna remembered , there was always a bawdy familiarity between her grandparents , something that she had never witnessed in her own parents ' interactions . When the tall woman worked in the kitchen , sweating over steaming pots or pummeling dumpling dough with admirable punches , Inna , who liked to hide out on top of the brick stove , had often watched her grandfather come up from behind his wife and land a loud smack onto his wife 's hips . He would then leave his hand resting there , while he nuzzled her neck and demanded to be given a taste of things . The woman would laugh and attempt to shake her husband 's hand off her ass , his chin - off her shoulder ; but even Inna could see she wasn 't trying too hard . That early evening , grandmother , having climbed onto a short ladder , was reaching for the top branches of overgrown raspberry bushes , from which she was retracting giant , fuzzy berries , still warm from that day 's sun . Her kerchief had slid off , and the cotton housedress , of matching material , rode up the woman 's legs to reveal the white elastic bands that held up her brown knee - highs . For the first time , Inna took notice of her grandmother 's stark white skin and her protruding veins . It was drastically different from the supple and brown skin of her mother , who had , minutes ago , came down from tanning on the house rooftop , for most of that afternoon . When the men entered the gate , from their day of flipping hay in the field , all the women perked up . Mother began to giggle and trace her hand over the top of her breasts , as if to wipe away the sweat from the hours of leisure in the sun , but then leaving it there to linger . Inna 's aunt - a tall and slim woman with brutally protruding facial bones - checked her reflection in the brass samovar , that mounted the wooden table like a tzar before his court . A field of mismatching serving dishes - covered with lids or saucers that warded off the flies - began to accumulate around the samovar . " Get ! Get ! " the aunt began shooing them away , slapping their tan , hairy arms with a kitchen towel . The men , grumbled and laughed ; but managed to lift up the saucers and stick their dirty fingers into their contents , smacking their lips in approval . Mother joined in : " We aren 't finished yet ! " she said , shooting her sister - in - law a conspiring look . In loud laughter , she revealed her shiny front crowns , that glistened like plastic pearls , against her increasingly tan face . " Go wash up ! " The old man paid her no attention . Instead , he approached his wife , who remained unperturbed by the presence of men and the commotion they have caused among the younger women . With each reach , her housedress continued riding above and below the white elastic bands at her knees ; and she continued sizing up each berry with a concentration of a scientist . Grandpa watched at first , the stems of scallions still sticking out of his mouth , moving in unison , as he chewed them . When the plan of action appeared to have finally formulated in his head , he discarded the last of the stems with a theatrical gesture , ran up on his wife , and stuck his head underneath her dress . " Oy , Vanya ! Vanyetcka ! " - grandmother couldn 't help but laugh - " Vanyush , oy ! " She slapped her husband 's balding head hidden under her dress but managed to mostly miss her target . The old man lifted her off the ladder ; and despite the flurry of her disoriented slaps and girly punches , delivered her to the dinner table . The young couples looked on . Inna 's father , sitting on the bench , stole occasional glances while he gnawed on rectangular slices of salt - curried fatback . The boyfriend of Inna 's aunt now busied himself with loosening , rolling and lighting up some tobacco . Meanwhile , Inna , surprised by her grandfather 's strength , grinned while making a go of stealing handfuls of warm raspberries that spilled from her grandmother 's basket , onto the table top . Every adult at the table seemed to look over . Inna looked for her father ; but finding him preoccupied with fishing out semi - pickled cucumbers from a barrel in the shadow patch in the garden 's corner , she had no choice but to admit defeat . She earned a light yank by the scruff of the tattered sailor 's undershirt that used to belong to her grandfather , which she had made a habit of wearing ; and was sent to wash up , upstairs . " Ah , dear god ! " mother was now saying with an admirable annunciation for someone crying her eyes out . With her face pressed against her husband 's decorated lapel , mother reminded Inna , yet again , that she was quite a small woman . " At least , she died in her sleep , " mother said with a quivering voice , reaching for her husband 's ear on her tippy toes . " At least , she didn 't suffer . " She paused , to then crescendo to a sob , followed by : " My god , I loved her so much ! " Inna 's father appeared to be at a loss . He stared at the tips of his shoes and shifted from one foot to another . He soon looked up to find Inna who fumbled with the now filthy bit of dough between her fingers . Her eyes , welled - up with giant tears , were on him all this time . On that , mother wiped her own face with the giant polkadot bow at her left shoulder and shot Inna a look . It was enough for Inna 's eyes to release their tears . She began to blink rapidly , focusing only on the sensation in her finger tips . Through the blur , she saw her father motion her over ; to which Inna gratefully surrendered , fitting herself another his free arm and letting her tears soak the side of his jacket , near the pocket with a bundle of keys . And the lavashes were indeed worth the wait ! Still warm and covered in flour , against Inna 's skin , they felt like those smooth boulders from the beaches of Odessa , upon which she , as a child - delegate to the biggest Soviet Pioneer Camp - the Artek - used to fall asleep . After being pummeled by the waves of the Black Sea , she would crawl out and rest atop of them , out of breath and tired out by all that laughter and by the salty water that tickled , stung and got inside her nose , eyes and mouth . The sun , permanently in high zenith , as it seemed , shone onto her like an anomaly unseen in the moody climates of Russia to which the family continued to relocate for her father 's job . And only the fear of being left behind by her Artek teammates would keep Inna awake . Eventually , she managed to talk her parents into signing her out for the whole afternoon at a time and taking her to the beach with them . It was their month - long summer vacation , for which the family had been saving up for nearly half a year ; and it appeared to be one the more exceptional times in her parents ' marriage , when mother was jolly at every visit . She sported a brand new haircut a la Mireille Mathieu and a collection of summer dresses Inna had never seen her wear before . On their downhill walk from the Artek campus to the beach , mother , who trotted ahead , let the wind take a hold of her skirt and reveal the back of her highs , all the way up to that part where during the winter , on their outings to banya , Inna would notice long and curly black hairs , coarser than anywhere else along mother 's body . If ever the wind did scandalous tricks with mother 's dress , Inna looked up to notice her father 's grin , thrilled and shy ; and if he appeared embarrassed at all , it was at being caught glancing at his wife with this much pleasure . Inna felt delighted : She knew she was witnessing something secret about her parents ; something she could not yet understand , but knew it had to be a very good sign . By the time Inna would wake up on the beach , however , suddenly chilly from the cold breeze of the sunset yet still finding some warmth on the boulder 's surface , she would find her father nearby , in his swimming shorts and asleep underneath a newspaper . Only a trace of her mother 's body could be found in the flattened patch of beach sand next to him . To console the 10 - year old Inna about such a stealthy departure took more than her father 's patient explanation about mother 's obligations to visit friends in Odessa : It took three cones of chocolate ice - cream . The warm flatbreads that brought on the memories of that summer now stretched between Inna 's fingers and teeth . Inside each bite , she tasted the chewy texture that , if combined with a warm glass of milk , could make a soul howl for the ways of her motherland ! The two women would take turns pinching the edges of the breads that stuck out of her mother 's sizable purse , while they made their way to the bus stop ; then again while waiting for the bus . Inna 's mother would eat only until a parent of one of her students - current or former - showed up on the platform . She would become all business then , shaking the crumbs off her clothes and asking for Inna to remove any residue of the flour from her face or decolletage . She then left Inna to her own devices , to harbor the hopes that perhaps once aboard the bus , mother would drop all this formality again and return to the repeated game of discussing just how good this batch of purchased lavashes turned out to be : This time would be no different . While mother chatted up the father of her leading Math student , Inna stole pinches of the warm , stretchy dough from the purse . Out of the dough , she began to sculpt geometric shapes whose names they 've learned in the last academic quarter . Turned out : a cube was a more cooperative structure . Each of its ribs could be measured by the tips of Inna 's index fingers and thumbs . Interestingly , no matter the change of a tactic , the surfaces a pyramid defied precision and demanded more focus . In the midst of conforming a perfect sphere into an ovoid , Inna noticed a figure of a man nearing their platform . He was coming from the furthest removed corner of the bus stop . Dressed in military uniform , he carried a small travel bag of brown leather . In all of his movements , the man possessed a certain manner of discipline and economy . Everything about him said : order , cleanliness , grace . At her school she was mostly thought of as quiet ; and being the smallest child in her class , was also considered the weakling of the group . However , she could never own up to the consequences of her character alone : So vapid and wide - spread was the reputation of her mother , she felt she would walk in her mother 's shadow until she herself , once grown , would move to a big city and become a famous Soviet ballerina . Or the first female astronaut to land on the moon . Then , they would all realize just how special she was , all along ! " Mom , " she tugged the scratchy material of the pink - lavender skirt . ( How ever did this woman manage to survive in a wool skirt , in the balmy , mid - August air ? Suffering certainly had to be a part of mother 's love of fashion . ) Mother , in the throws of laughter at something her Math student 's father had said , ignored Inna 's hand . " Mama ! " Inna tugged again , rougher . Inna lowered her eyes then lifted them again with pleading courage , " But mama … It 's papa . " And before tears deformed her mouth and speech , she made a vague gesture in the direction of the Army officer , who by now - having noticed the two women himself - was making a determined , yet balletic stride across the platform . At the risk of missing their bus , Inna 's mother insisted on stoping by the kiosk that , judging by the sour smell of yeast and the line of bickering women upfront , had recently received a delivery of fresh bread . It was an otherwise insignificant place , like most stores in larger cities . As a matter of fact , when the kiosk windows were rolled down and locked , one could easily mistake it for an information booth , with nothing inside but trolley tickets and city brochures , and Marlboros for sale . A Russian housewife was only as successful as she was savvy . It was up to the women - the mothers - to discover stores that carried better produce . Some of the legwork was done by their girlfriends , in a tradition of some old tribal hunt , adjusted to the urban life style . Even the women in Russian villages , who aimed to live by the means of the land , needed to perfect this skill for when shopping at the weekend bazaar . But Inna 's mother was too proud to probe other women for insider information on barters and schedules of deliveries of deficit produce . To socialize with the common folks , especially about such common needs , was beneath her academic degrees and esteemed profession , she claimed ; unworthy of her upbringing in the largest port city with Western waterways , from the Russian East Coast . She was an elementary school teacher , painfully overqualified , who taught at Inna 's school that housed grades one through eleven ; and most parents in their village wanted for their children to end up in her mother 's classroom , despite her famous and slightly abusive educational methods . ( Inna had known those methods first - hand , for they had been honed on her , until she officially reached puberty and got her period . ) " I just wish I had a girlfriend to take me to the ballet , Innotchka , " she confessed to her daughter , melancholically . It was an uneasy situation whenever mother began talking like that , as if Inna were her contemporary . But just as Inna was an assumed loner , being the only child of her parents - who were the only children to their parents as well - her mother , she suspected , had difficulty making friends as well . " Ah ! If only you knew how I love the ballet , Innotchka ! " But despite the mood of informality , Inna knew better than to trust this yet another attempt by her mother to bond . " One day ( when you 're old enough ) , I may take you there , so that you can see for yourself , " her mother would zero in on Inna , suddenly viewing her daughter as a female competition , and her warmth would rapidly dissipate . " I may . I just may . I can 't promised it , of course . But I may . " In the summer of 1991 , the two women would journey into the city quite frequently . Mother had applied to the Masters of Education faculty at the Pedagogical University No . 3 . Every academic institution , from kindergartens to the top level institutes that trained the best minds of Russia 's science , was assigned a number . And although Inna , during the trips into the city , had never come across the Pedagogical University No . 1 or No . 2 , she was sure her mother would not possess any trustworthy information on this curious matter either . Most likely , she would grant Inna the chronic " It 's just the way it is ! " response . Inna 's own school - where mother had established a certain reign , especially since deciding to further her credentials - was assigned the number 7 . She realized she had never tried to decipher this puzzle before . Perhaps , on certain topics , mother was right : Some things - were just the way they were . On the way back from her mother 's interview with the dean of her future faculty , the two women had stumbled upon a display of oval white flatbreads in the window of a curios little kiosk . It stood at the entrance of an alley of chestnut trees which would lead them to the city 's main transit station . Inna , with her eyes studying the tips of her and her mother 's shoes , while mother talked and talked - this time about just how " cultured " the dean had acted toward her , a real gentleman not to be found in a single kilometer radius of their own village - she noticed when her mother 's feet slowed down , their oval toes slightly tilting away , at a forty - five degree angle , as if pulled by a magnet . " Oy , dear god ! Are those little lavashes ? ! " her mother , with her fingers still splayed from that afternoon 's manicure , touched both of her cheeks and exclaimed . " I haven 't had those since I was just a little girl ! My daddy used to bring them for me from his trips to Georgia . " Inna , who had been trained well enough to know that all of her mother 's sudden outbursts had to have specific objectives , had recently begun to notice her own decreasing desire to figure them out . With her stubborn , teenage silences toward any hints , she figured out that her mother 's desires would become obvious , whether she tried to decipher them on her own . Or , she could just wait . Oftentimes , those objectives would become clear . Some would be meant to provoke pity from any witnesses ; and it confused Inna by giving her no active understanding on what to do next . Certainly , mother couldn 't have thought of pity being a good match to her self - proclaimed dignity ! By now , her mother was trotting . She was wearing a tailored skirt the color of pink - lavender and a custom - made black - and - white blouse with polkadots and a giant bow on the left side of her neck . Her red stilettos , claimed to be the best damn pair of shoes mother currently owned , made her legs more defined , although still quite plum for mother 's short frame . Adjusting the handles of the sizable purse again , Inna thought : Were she not the daughter of this woman , who was jittering lusciously in all the right places while running through the alley of trees ( that used to fill the air with an aggressive perfumed smell of blossoms , back in July ) , she would think of this sight as some famous passage from an Italian film , in which the women - who all seemed to suffer from outbursts of erratic and unpredictable emotions - were the only ones in the whole of the world 's cinema to even slightly resemble the women of her own culture . By the time Inna had caught up to her mother , having been weighed down by her sizable purse and the damn oversized glasses that refused to stay in place , mother was already lingering by the kiosk window . With her hands folded on top of each other over the giant polkadot bow , she jumped a couple of times in place , causing for the other women to look on , askance . They were right : There was something insincere in the forcefulness of mother 's emotional exposés , especially when they involved retardation into her girlhood . In the now obvious and not necessarily pleasant silence that surrounded them , Inna continued to clutch the handles of the purse with her both hands , while stealing glances at the other women who by now resumed their hushed conversation . " Um . Excuse me , lady citizen ? " her mother cut the line . Surely , that would not go over well with the other women ! " Do you have a sufficient supply of lavashes left ? " The kerchiefed woman scoffed , slightly shook her wrinkled head and rolled her milky - gray eyes in a conspiring gesture . Inna 's mother feigned being immune toward the meaningfully condescending responses that trickled down to the hummed exchange among the other women . There had been times when Inna had witnessed it go a different way , however : Sometimes , mother teared up at the injustice and at the disheartening simpleton nature of her fellow citizens , while always managing to stand in enough light to be noticed by her offenders . Other times , she chose to suffer through the unfortunate consequences to her own bouts of aristocracy . Considering that these baked delicacies were impossible to come by in their village , this would be one of those times . So , Inna 's mother squinted her eyes , as if studying other choices of produce that may interest her ; then made her way to the back of the line . There had been superstitions , back in her mother 's country , about thresholds , doorways , windows . Table tops and chairs . And they were treated like traditions by the women in her family , as non - negotiable as laws of gravity and just as final . To never kiss over a threshold . To never sit upon a tabletop . To never let an unmarried woman be positioned at a corner seat , while dining . And with the slew of superstitions came antidotes , just as important to take notice of ; so that when things did NOT work out - the victim could be still the one to blame : You shoulda knocked three times on wood , spit over the left shoulder , and hidden a fig hand in your pocket . These things would grow on one unconsciousness like barnacles of paranoid behavior . And in a nation of world - renowned courage , it puzzled her to see so many doubtful people . And was her mother brave at all , to just pack - up like that and leave ? To move herself with a child to the furthest removed continent , after the death of her husband ? His - was a death by drinking . She didn 't want to die - by mourning . And now , both women - tired but not tired enough to not be cautious of each other - seemed to be waiting for something . Waiting for the other shoe to drop , albeit both of them standing barefoot in the empty kitchen . In this new country , where everyone was in love with fun and smiley faces , they each would arrive to their shared home and try to force a lightness to descend . It would be mostly out of habit , and not desire . Her mother functioned better in these new rules : " Have fun ! " " God bless ! " " I love you ! " She had no difficulty throwing these around , without taking any time to match their implications to the worth of the recipient . Had mother always colored her hair with that unnatural shade of black , when last she 'd seen her , in New York ? The snow white roots came in aggressively , all over mother 's head , opposing the other color with no mercy . When did she age this much ? When did this fear and sorrow find time to settle on her face ? " Mom . Why don 't you sit down ? " She caught herself : All furniture was made of boxes , uncouth for a woman with a living husband , according to her mother 's generation . Before the older woman managed to react , the daughter hid her gaze in forming mounds of soapsuds and hurriedly amended her first offer : " Mom . Wouldn 't you like a drink ? " She turned and walked away again - floating , balancing , looming - stopped by the sliding doors of the balcony , at the edge of the living - room . The palm trees slowly swayed outside like metronomes to one 's slower heartbeat . West , West , West . She 'd gone out West , with nothing but the ghosts checked - in as her luggage . The letters from her best friend on the East Coast would hit the bottom of the mailbox on a weekly basis , for the first two months . She praised her for the courage . She mentioned pride , and dignity , and all the other things they 'd mutually gotten high on , back in college . It never happened in any of the books she 'd read , but in her life , what others titled " courage " - was merely an act of following through . Besides , she swore , he thought of the idea first . What else was she suppose to do ? At least , unlike the others , the best friend never judged . She wasn 't in a habit of taking sides . She never called the husband names . But then again , they 'd never really found men to be the leading topic of their friendship . Men merely existed . Some men were good . And back in college , the two of them hadn 't loved enough men to speak of the other gender with that scornful nostalgia of the other women . Men merely existed . And then : There was the whole of the magnificent world outside . Out here - out West - she could just start from scratch . She only needed to remember how to breathe the even breath : if not that of her calmer youth - then of her wiser self . With time , she knew she 'd see the point of it , the purpose , the lessons of her little losses . She had too vivid of an imagination to not weave her life into a story . When rinsing a knife after all pungent foods , one absolutely must use soap . Because if not , the taste will resonate on every meal for further weeks to come . " Oh yeah ? That 's good . " It 's better if the handle of the knife is anything but wooden . Wood stays a living thing forever . It takes on other substances , breeds them , doesn 't let them go . " I wrote Mike a letter . " Mom searched for the effects of her intentions on her daughter 's face . " I know ! I know ! It sounds silly ! We live a borough away . But I have always relished his opinion . " Out West , she 'd found herself relearning how to use each thing with an appropriate instrument . The sense of wonderment ! The love of unexpected beauty ! The curiosity she was resuscitating in herself , like a paralysis patient learning how to walk again . Her days weren 't daunting , at all times ; and they were full of curiosity . And now : Mom , barefoot yet armed ! In one woman 's kitchen . So fearful , she could not release either of them from their pasts . They stood , displeased with being a reflection of each other . Another eyebrow arch . A scoff . One turned away , demonstratively disappointed . The other looked down onto her pruned fingers submerged into a sink of cruddy water . Mom faced the window with no curtains , yet again . Those horrid , flapping , plastic blinds had been the first thing that Natasha 'd taken down . For the first weeks , she let the wind roam through the apartment , while she , sleepless and exhausted , observed the palm trees wave against the never pitch - black night of her new city : You are alright . Remember breathing ? " I like it , " one said , " I think " ( unusually sheepishly for her nature ) . " It 's got some , " she rotated her wrists up in the air , looking for the less poetic word , " ' good light ' . " It took a talent to be so vague . Or it took years of mutual knowledge and histories of hurt . The younger one averted her eyes quickly . She was getting better at busying herself in the kitchen . Throughout her childhood , she 'd witnessed mother 's chaos when other people came over to visit their place . They had been lucky that way , due to her father 's reputable profession : Always finding better living quarters , so others came over quite a bit . Wanting to be the talk of the town , mother buzzed and chattered in the kitchen ; and she would bang the drawers with aluminum dinnerware and slam the cupboards in an orchestra of her exhibitionist domesticity . " They meant it as a compliment , " after the women 's departure , mother would attempt to clarify things - the delicate things that her daughter could not understand yet ( but perhaps with time , she would ) . The evil smirk of the local Algebra teacher branded itself into her memory : How could these women mean anything good ? But mother didn 't want to hear it : " Stop asking stupid questions anyway ! This is adults ' business . " " So , " the older woman spoke from the bedroom doorway and eyed the open , empty space . " Are you going to ask Mike to ship you the bed ? " ( Pause . ) " Or do you plan to house this draft in here forever ? " The young woman looked back down at the gutted pickled fish under her fingers , on the cutting board . It was a task that every Russian woman performed from A to Z . From A to YA . From A - to I . Her mother would 've drowned the detailed fish in a pool of sunflower oil ; and it would stare out , with dehydrated eyeballs from underneath a layer of butchered onions meant to cover up a job so messily performed . What did the bird have to do with the fish ? The bird - to I . The I - to eye . Still , mother was a funny actress , so the child would spit with laughter . She couldn 't help it : She was still in love with her original prototype back then . She now thought of that one time a thin fishbone lodged in her throat for a week ; and how she gagged every night , while mother hooked her sharp nails into the back of her tongue . For months to follow , sometimes , loose scales would reveal themselves stuck on her clothes or skin ; or swimming in buckets of water with floor - scrubbing rags . Mom was a disaster in the house . In her own kitchen , however , the young woman never kept the head . She wished she had a cat to feed it to . A cat - to make - up for the missing child , to make the loneliness less oppressive . She stared at the oval crystal bowl , with even filets of pink meat , neatly arranged . " Oh ! Yes . I see , " the old woman eyed the empty bedroom yet again : Why so much space for someone with defeated ovaries then ? " You , young people ! You have no concept of marital endurance any more . " She swore , he thought of the idea first . At least , that 's how she remembered it . In his defense ( why was she so willing to defend him ? ) : In his defense - she wasn 't " willing " . He was right . " It 's just that … something isn 't working , " Mike told her over the phone , the week of one Thanksgiving which they 'd agreed to spend apart . He " couldn 't do it anymore " . Her work . Her books . Why was he always taking second place after her life ? Once she hung up , she cried , of course , but mostly out habit ; and out of habit , she started losing weight and sleep . That 's what a wife in mourning was supposed to look like , she decided . She cropped her hair , and started wearing pants and laced up wingtip shoes . In their crammed - in basement apartment in the Bronx , she found room to pace and wonder , " Why ? Why ? Why ? " Her girlfriends were eventually allowed to visit the site of her disastrous marriage . They bitched ; they called him names . They lurked , touched , shifted , sniffed . They studied family photographs , still on display , for signs of early check - outs . The women patted her boyish haircut and teared up a bit too willingly , some of them - being slightly grateful for feeling better about their own men . An hour later , he showed up with lilies . After a dry peck that tasted unfamiliarly , she lead the way to a Dominican joint whose wall - full of French doors was always taken down for the summer . It breathed the smell of oil - and of fried everything - onto the sweaty pedestrians on Broadway . On their side of the missing wall , the night dragged on with a strained politeness . His eyes were glossy , wet . She stared out onto the street . From either the heat of New York 's August and the lack of ventilation , the giant buds sweated under the plastic wrap ; and by the time they finished picking through a pile of fried plantains , the lilies open completely , and just like everything at that time of the year - from sweat glands to subway sewers to perfume shops - they began to smell aggressively , nearly nauseating . She looked down : After their six - month separation , she had begun to wear dresses and curl her hair again . She 'd gained a certain swagger in the hips from wearing flat shoes through every season in New York . The flesh of femininity was finally beginning to lose the aftertastes of her youth 's self - loathing . Vagueness as a revenge : She 'd learned that from her mother , the best that ever was ! She owed him nothing . He was the one who 'd given up ! He was the one who left ! But now , it settled at the bottom of her stomach , along with the plantains , like something begging for its freedom . And she , in her defense , was no longer " willing " . Was it just her , or had life begun to feel like an army of ants crawling through one 's capillaries ? Did enthusiasm eventually give room to tiredness , when overcrowded by one 's disappointments ? She watched the cautionary tale of her mother 's wilted curiosity ; sitting in the downward - turned corners of her mouth , waiting to expire , along with the last of her youth ? Waiting - But the joy : Where had it gone from her ? There would still be moments of visible glee , some days - a sort of tightly wound hysteria ; the same inside job that made her mother 's face quiver and the loose skin of her arms shake after each gesture . She 'd be like that in front of her girlfriends when seeking their alliance via pity ; or in front of the 17th Century paintings in the galleries of Eastern Germany . ( Then , she would always speak to Nola , lecturing , lying , not knowing how to stop . ) The sight of it - Nola eventually found herself despising ( in men especially , much later ) : of something pushing - being pushed - past one 's irritability , beyond the limit of tolerance and truth . Strained . Pushed . Perpetually trying . Silence and walking away , to Nola , seemed easier . And it was reasonable , in theory , for people to coexist in a peaceful fulfillment of their basic needs . But then , they would always tangle themselves up in the ideas of the pursuit of their own happiness , where flaunting of entitlement and justice would become a sport . The calmness of a grateful life had long surpassed her mother - that woman was way , way far down the line . And all there was to live by - was a long list of her grievances and other people 's debts . " You 're just like your father ! " her mother threw at Nola , as if being calm and good was somehow indecent . Once Nola turned twelve , however , there wouldn 't be much left to hurl at her expense . Because before , when the two women found themselves alone in the house , mom reached for anything to throw : her father 's rain boots , the ribbed hose from the Soviet - made ( read : nearly useless ) washing machine ; wet laundry ; mom 's patent leather belt from the fur coat that she 'd demanded for her thirtieth birthday . One time , unrooted by her madness , the woman tipped a pot of cold cabbage soup that had been sitting on the stove , waiting for her father 's dinnertime . She had been panicking in the kitchen - ( mom always panicked , in the kitchen ) - and when she found her words surpassing their brutality , she speedily relayed her gaze from one sharp object to the next ; and after an unsuccessful search , reached up behind and steadily poured the pot of cold liquid onto Nola 's head . The slimy cabbage crawled under the collar , under the skin ; and the orange , chalky layer of frozen oil tangled up in her hair and stayed there for weeks to come . When finally , most of the liquid hit the floor , Nola looked up : Not one , but two women stood there , drenched in terrible humiliation . Blunt objects or her mother 's limbs ungracefully ended their trajectories anywhere along Nola 's small body . If she tipped over , mom dragger her by the hair to rooms with better lighting , where harsher punishment ensued . While mother pushed and pushed and pushed - the child stood , or lied still , in silence . She learned to receive . She bared . She endured . And secretly she hoped that surrender would make her mother slow down . So visible was mother 's sorrow , so palpable - unhappiness , that from behind the raised arm with which Nola guarded softer places , she pitied her aggressor . She waited for the feeling of tremendous heat in all the new swellings . She 'd welcome them , eventually giving herself over to resignation , and to sleep . A strange bliss would be found at the end of every horror . For one was never given more than one could handle . In those days , Nola still could still portion out the world into manageable pixels . There would anger . Disappointments . A one unhappy woman . Through repetition , Nola learned that mother 's love was functioning through let down expectations . If one was loved by her - one owed her , forever . The closer Nola neared her own womanhood , the more difficult , the more unbearable would become that love - and debt ; until one day , none in her family could ever able undo , unsay the things that they had thrown at each other , in an attack or self - defense . And in the loss of reason between all cause and effect , it would begin to feel like pure insanity . Unheard of ! Scandal ! Her father 's mother ranted for about a week . But quite quickly , the old woman focused on saving the family 's face and made up more suitable stories about her daughter - in - law 's passage . No remedy was masterful enough to get that thing out ! Lord knows , grandma tried ! The naked old woman labored and puffed in the wet steam of her bathhouse , her deflated breasts flapping above Nola 's shoulders , like freshly baked Georgian lavashes . After two hours of brushing , oiling , lathering ; of pulling and of being pulled ; of swearing , sweating , renouncing ; and baring and receiving - the hair had to be cut out ; and Nola walked away with half of it missing from the back of her head and a headache that took days to sleep off . The story tilted then . Inside her family , she never would be able to find much calm . That night , unable to find a spot on her scalp that wasn 't raw and throbbing , with the face down in her pillow , Nola would begin to plot her own escape , with or without her hair . Must color mother 's hair , she decided . The shower head was dripping at an even pace against the standing pool of water , in the bathroom . Mom lost all memory . Her dignity did not belong to her . It mattered to the living though - to those who were living , trying , still - so , Nola owed someone that . The tedious ceremonies of the old world 's superstitions slowed down Nola 's childhood to half - speed . The pinning of safety pins to her underwear after bath , their heads facing downward and away from her heart - " grounding " ; the triple twirling and the hanging of a rusty locket , with some dead priest 's hair , around her neck . Hemp ropes with strange beads tied around her wrists and ankles . Sometimes , when she drifted off to sleep - but not yet into her dreams - after her grandmother 's bedtime stories , she watched the shadows of the old woman move along the wall : A giant and magnificent bird casting the whispers of good winds upon her sleeping head . And in the mornings , when she wasn 't looking - grandmother would slip drops of blessed water into her glass of milk ; then keep her hand behind her heart while Nola chugged it down . All that - to ward off the other women . Where had this mistrust in the female kind come from ? Nola couldn 't understand it . And as a child , she was particularly puzzled about that feared bad eye . Grandma had no tolerance for questions worked up by Nola 's imagination - a quality that later flared up in her own motherhood - so she came up with the answers on her own . ( It was the worst - wasn 't it ? - for a child to feel annoying , then dismissed by the habits of the bored and tired grownups . She hadn 't wanted to become like that ! And yet , she was , right in the midst of it , now . ) These had to be some evil women , Nola decided way back when ; some ancient witches with an extra eye to give away . And they lived among the good and the kind , giving the rest of the womankind a terrible reputation . One time , walking in her grandmother 's footsteps , through the pre - sunrise layer of the summer fog only to be seen in the Far , Far East of Russia ( and in the magical place of which she 'd read once , called " San Francisco " ) , she saw a yellow raincoat . It balanced on a pair of emaciated legs ; and when they caught up with it , Nola looked back : An old woman , with wet gray hair stuck to her caved - in temples , was staring right back at her from underneath the bright yellow hood . She reminded Nola of one of those Mexican skeleton dolls of rich , exotic colors , dressed in human clothing that hung on them , like parachutes on manikins . From behind the fog that clung to every moving or inanimate object , she could hardly see the color of the woman 's eyes . They seemed to appear milky though , crowded with cataracts . But the sinister smile that stretched the old woman 's toothless mouth into a keyhole told Nola that she could see well enough to look right through into her heart . " Is this it ? " Nola thought . Was this the female owner of the feared bad eye ? Expecting a feeling of sickly slime , terrified yet thrilled at the same time , Nola slipped her hands into her pockets . At night , after her solitude was pretty much assured , she wrapped the clouds of her scratchy hair around her head , so she could doze off - off and away from the voices of her parents , bickering in the kitchen . ( On planes , she dreamed that she could do the same to clouds . God bless her , soon enough ! ) When her braids began reaching the crests of her hips , Nola began the practice of making dolls out of them ; and she would rest each on her pillow , next to her lips , and whisper to it her speculations about the far removed and kinder places . From what Nola understood in other children 's reenactments in their shared sandboxes , her father was not a hopeless drunk at all : He never fell down in the alleys , later to be found by the female cashiers of the local delis , unlocking the back doors for early morning deliveries or briberies from those savvier Soviets who knew how to get their share of deficit produce to come that week . Never - ever , had father been taken to the Emergency Room on a sled - pulled by his same " wife ' n ' child " , in a middle of the Russian winter - to get his stomach pumped from alcohol poisoning . No , Nola 's dad was just a jolly drunk , occasionally guilty of having a reason to celebrate something - anything ! - in his Russian destiny : A National Fisherman Day . The fall of Bastille Saint Antoine . A successful summoning of mere three meals for his family , that day . Another Day in the Life of … But mom went off , pulling at her own thinning hair , whenever the man showed up with that harmless - and actually endearing to Nola - goofy smile . Whenever Nina slipped out her bed and did an army crawl to the top of the stairs , she watched her mother 's body shiver , the skin of her arms vibrate , all - from what looked like an inside job . The woman wailed and howled , and threw herself against the hard surfaces and all the sharp corners , as if possessed by a death wish . Mom always took everything too far , into a place of difficult ultimatums and points beyond forgiveness . And watching her in such a state set off anxiety - ridden arrhythmia in Nola 's heart . Her mother 's sad , all - knowing smile . Her choir of scoffs and sighs , and terrorizing whimpers . Her melancholic , slow head shake belonging to a cartoonish bobblehead stuck to a dashboard of a Moscow 's taxicab : getting around but not going anywhere ! She felt an urge to run away from all of it - from here and from her - to somewhere , where people didn 't readily construct their painful sentences and woke up with faces drained of all curiosity or tenderness . Could that be " San Francisco " ? She slept on pillows of her hair and wondered .
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Thelen , an Andrews Kurth litigation associate in Dallas , and Vaught , an associate with Irving 's Franklin Cardwell & Jones , first met in Judge Advocate General 's Corps training back in 1999 , when supervisors assigned them to the same team and they discovered they both practiced in the Dallas / Fort Worth area . Over the next five years , their paths would cross again and again , from the day the Army assigned them to the same battalion bound for Baghdad to the morning bombs almost blew their Humvee off a road in Iraq . Now the two young lawyers , both of whom took their military oaths years before taking their bar oaths , have become skeptical of the potential for success in Iraq . More . With Bush holding a narrow lead in the state , the libertarian candidate is polling at 3 percent . Where is the coverage of this campaign . Badnarik deserves to be heard ! " Ooh . You 're fine , you 're fine . Come here . Look , here 's a nickel , we 'll get something at the store , " is how the conversation would end , after the disasterous crash . To make a long story short , my youngest aunt had a daughter when she was about 20 . The child 's father didn 't want her or the baby and so she went a little crazy : stealing my grandparents jewelry to buy him gifts , following him around everywhere , leaving the baby on top of his car . . . . So she was shipped off to my mom in New York and the cousin was left with my grandparents . Others have phrased this phenomenon much more eloquently than I will even attempt here , but the bottom line is salaries for corporate lawyers in NYC have not returned to their year 2000 levels , my entire industry is under attack by this administration , I can 't afford to buy a home in a decent neighborhood and I am terrified to travel abroad because the man 's loony tunes policies . It 's an old joke , but no less true . If the choice is between the guy that will definitely burn everything down and the guy I don 't know what he might do , give me the possibility of not being burned down . Who can blame them , Bush took his first trip to Europe just four years ago , he 's bombed two countries and promises more bombing to come . He 's cut aid for women 's international health programs , nixed the Kyoto treaty , spurned anti - nuclear proliferation treaties , ignores the U . N . ( except when he 's using it to rationalize his illegal invasions ) and butchers the Spanish language whenever he gets the opportunity . George Bush is most definitely not an international man , baby . But the world is frustrated , how is it American voters can 't see how terrible President Bush is for themselves and all the world ? ( Believe me , there are whole warehouses of Democrats asking themselves that very question . ) It 's not fair that with a word from Bush , American embargos can bring a nation 's economy to its knees , the U . S . , altruistic though it may be , is practically unstoppable , the nations of the world cry out ( although , they probably use Esperanto instead of English ) . Second , pressure your leaders to sign a pledge to work with President Kerry in Iraq . Meaning that if they haven 't sent troops or money or aid to the conflict because Bush is the spawn of Satan , let them commit themselves to helping John Kerry fix Bush 's folly . If Kerry had proof positive that Iraq would look differently under his watch , that would be good for a couple of percentage points in the polls . Third , take some time off from University and hotfoot it over to the U . S . You can 't vote , but you can knock on doors , staple signs to bulletin boards and hand out flyers . ( Whoever is assigned to Minnesota please be prepared to answer questions about building steps and why John Kerry . ) Fourth , be creative . Write columns and mail them in to American publications , blog , draw cartoons , write plays , anything to take the bloom off the Bush rose . You may not be able to vote , but you can make a difference . On why the situation in Iraq ain 't so bad : " We had something like 200 or 300 or 400 people killed in many of the major cities of America last year . Is it perfectly peaceful ? No . What 's the difference ? We just didn 't see each homicide in every major city in the United States on television every night . " Abizaid : Look , no elections are ever perfect . Look at our example in Afghanistan , on the border of Pakistan it will probably be very difficult . Or just look at our elections in 2000 . They were far from perfect . Yep , like I always say , these people have no business running the United States either . Well , I don 't use Movable Type so the killer app wouldn 't work for me - - but since I 'm sick of terrorist - sympathizing news organizations using weasel words , I did the next - best thing . Yes , I did a Google News search for the weasel words , and manually replaced them with the more exact " terrorist . " Lets look at some of my newly unsanitized results for the word " gunmen , " and discuss what they teach us about Bush 's war on terrorism : Anyway , I want to thank Michelle and her cohorts for helping me to see things more clearly . By eliminating namby - pamby words from news stories and replacing them with more precise terms , I have learned a lot , and feel much better prepared to fight the terrorists around me . I 'm leading a raid against the World Institute of Journalism first thing next week . I am locked in an epic battle with Anna Karenina . I keep reading , waiting for it to get good and unputdownable . As soon as we get some good Vronsky - Anna action going , Tolstoy starts in on Levin 's history of farming . He is killing me . Slowly . With agriculture and french cliches . This is all Oprah 's fault . Some wise old dude once said " everyday you learn something new . " He was right . Since I arrived , I have learned a boatload of new things , and it has only been two days . 1 . Spanish . Totally different language . One cannot simply speak English slower and with a Spanish accent and expect to be understood . " Um " and " come se dice " are of minimal assistance . 2 . You just do not realize how many contractions you write with , until you find a keyboard with no apostrophes . I am just sayin . 3 . While the " Tickle Monster " game crosses the language barrier fairly well with the kids , The " I have got your nose . . . er tu nariz . . . yo tengo , el nariz de . . . er la nariz . . . de tu " game does not translate quite as well . 4 . Whoever said you cannot function without sleep , was full of crap . I mean , sure you will fall asleep everytime you sit down : in cabs , cars , couches , while blogging in the hotel lobby , even in a funeral home surrounded by coffins , but dude , one sharp elbow in the side and you are wide awake and ready to go . 8 . When in third world countries , it is important to forget everything one knows about restaurant health code violations , insect / rodent contamination , and hygeine in general . Repeating the famous Nietzche mantra does come in handy . 9 . When travelling , try not to have the last television show you see in English be anything involving Siegfried and Roy and talking lions . 10 . Do not drink the juice . # posted by Dawn Summers : 9 : 21 PM I really cannot help but thank my ancestors for not being from some deserted , artic tundra . I love this little isthmus on the sea , however , Panamanian keyboards are a wee tricky . ( There will be no use of words which need an apostrophe , for instance . ) Years later , when my grandma died , my cousin , who she had raised , was late getting to the cemetary . When he arrived to find her casket already in the ground , he demanded they pull it back up so he could see her again . Efforts to persuade him that he had already said goodbye enough were halted after he put the undertaker in a headlock and threatened to send him down personally to bring his grandmother up . " Are you my mother ? I 'll come home when I come home , " she was laughing now . I heard her tell her friend in the background that " her boss " was giving her a curfew . Local news was filled with images of the September 11th name - reading ceremony . The reporters all commented on how attendance was significantly down from last year . Most organizers said that next year 's memorial would not be as formal . For my family the worst was just beginning . Not that everyone hadn 't been expecting it . Actually , both my aunt , my mom and my cousins had all gone to Panama for extended stays this summer , expecting him to die . In fact , my aunt just came back last Monday . Like Joey pre - ephiphany , I hate change . So , I confess I spent most of the episode comparing it to Friends , wondering what Phoebe , Chandler and Monica were up to ( never much cared for Ross and Rachel ) and thinking , man , Adriana sounds funny . But honestly , the episode was probably as funny as a good , but not great episode of Friends . The opening scene with him in Dallas was classic Joey and I laughed out loud until his sister hugs him in the real Los Angeles airport . ( What 's up with her flashing her brother ? Ewww ) The theme song , opening credits montage has got to go . Obviously , they couldn 't go with the Rembrandt 's , but the opening isn 't at all funny or Joey - like in any way . Hopefully the married neighbor will be recast with a single , hottie ( hopefully played by an actor of darker hue ) . I don 't really like the son , but I guess with Monica in the burbs , Joey needs someone to cook for him . ( I think the porn actor will turn out to be L . A . 's very own ugly , naked guy ! ) # posted by Dawn Summers : 11 : 28 AM Let me tell you what bullshit is . Bullshit is having 5 pretty high cards in sequence : 2 A K Q J and getting beat by a freaking pair of 9s . " What ? That 's my money ! " " Dude , that 's crap . I won . I wanna see the rule book . " Suddenly that whole Sore / Loserman thing , not at all funny . And yes , I know I swore I would never play again , but this girl I went to high school with , let 's call her Doofus said that her all girls game was casual and fun . So when I sat down at the table across from Schmari " nipple - clamp " Dominatrix and NYC " My Bag ! " Smurfette , I had no idea that I would bust out in four hands and have to rebuy - in after playing for less than 20 minutes . I won my first hand , on my second hand I went all - in with a set of 6 . Then , Doofus , holding two pair , calls . On the river she hit a full - house . I tried the same manuveur on the next hand , with less successful results . No pair and Scmari beat me with a 10 . I was out . " Do you want to buy - in again , " Doofus asks , straining her neck to see me over the wall of my chips in front of her . I FLOPPED A STRAIGHT ! Woo Hoo . ( Shut up ) After busting out earlier , I announced that I was out of the all in business . Even as I sat there having flopped a straight ( shut up ) , I didn 't bet it all . But I bet it most . I mean the turn was a 9 and then the river was a 3 . Smurfette went all - in , but I had her beat . Well , we know how that turned out . I made a call to Hawaii only to be mocked and have my chips taken away . ( Of course , I ended up borrowing 9 dollars from Doofus to pay for a cab ride back home when I realized I had virtually no cash on me . I had to play that " watch - the - meter - mind - control " game where I figured out exactly how much money I had and hoped that it got me close enough to home to walk . I had $ 33 . When we reached my front door , the meter said $ 31 . 90 . Not much of a tip , but it was all I had . I didn 't think much of it until I turned on the television yesterday . Images of drenched commuters being batted about by unforgiving winds were everywhere . Flood waters shut down most of Brooklyn 's subway access yesterday morning . I didn 't even try to make it to the office because I would have indeed been stuck in a hot , unmoving car . Luckily , I was able to work from home . But for the less fortunate who are now more subway than woman , I just thought you should know who to blame . I don 't know what I 've done to you or your networks to deserve this . In fact , I have been a most loyal customer . I even watched Jesse and Veronica 's Closet . No , I don 't like Father of the Pride , but that doesn 't mean I won 't watch it . But this Jay London thing has got to stop . Granted , I wasn 't there for the early rounds of voting that inflicting this heap of unkempt sloth on America . But I saw him voted off during Season 2 , only to return with a vomitous vengeance a few weeks later . He was kicked off again and the show ended , but now like a possessed , homicidal plastic doll , ( the show and the unbearable Mr . London ) was reincarnated once more . But he has consistently fought to curtail civil liberties , eliminate the right to choose and to write discrimination into our constitution and strip gay people of simple job protections afforded to all Americans . The only freedoms he has extended , is the right of big corporations to pollute our air and water . To create jobs , my plan will encourage investment and expansion by restraining federal spending , reducing regulation , and making tax relief permanent . To create jobs , we will make our country less dependent on foreign sources of energy . To create jobs , we will expand trade and level the playing field to sell American goods and services across the globe . And we must protect small business owners and workers from the explosion of frivolous lawsuits that threaten jobs across America . What does Bush know about creating jobs ? His administration squandered the first surplus in modern history in less than two years and by the of his term , George W . Bush will be the first President since Hoover to have a net job loss . On . his . watch . As I have traveled our country , I have met too many good doctors , especially OB - GYNS , who are being forced out of practice because of the high cost of lawsuits . To make health care more affordable and accessible , we must pass medical liability reform now . And in all we do to improve health care in America , we will make sure that health decisions are made by doctors and patients , not by bureaucrats in Washington , DC . These good doctors are being fprced out of practice because of the too high cost of insurance . Yet the Bush administration has done nothing to regulate the insurance industry . Nevermind the doctors that have been done in by their own incompetence . Anybody remember how Bush stood on stage hugging a doctor that left a sponge in a woman 's belly and neglected a delivery to the point where the infant was born brain - damaged ? Furthermore , does anybody buy that Bush wants health decisions to be made by doctors and patients ? Time and again he has sought to legislate a woman 's right to choose from his fancy leather chair in the oval office . I can 't imagine a more bureacratic place in Washington , D . C . In this time of change , government must take the side of working families . In a new term , we will change outdated labor laws to offer comp - time and flex - time . Our laws should never stand in the way of a more family - friendly workplace . Again , the applause line is more of a cue for laughter . His administration has taken away overtime pay from millions of people who rely on that income to meet basic , everyday needs . Although , I suppose that 's one way to fund his income tax cuts for his wealthy friends . We will always keep the promise of Social Security for our older workers . With the huge Baby Boom generation approaching retirement , many of our children and grandchildren understandably worry whether Social Security will be there when they need it . We must strengthen Social Security by allowing younger workers to save some of their taxes in a personal account a nest egg you can call your own , and government can never take away . Like compassionate conservatism , this paragraph is an exercise in oxymoronism . There is no way to " keep the promise of Social Security for our older workers " if " younger workers " siphon funds away in risky market accounts . Every dollar paid into social security today , is paid out today as benefits for older workers . No dejaremos a ningun nino atras . We will leave no child behind . Wow , George W . Bush lies in two languages . Cool . According to Senator Schumer , New York alone is being shortchanged 1 BILLION dollars in federal money for our schoolchildren . That amount of money leaves a lot of schoolchildren behind . I believe we have a moral responsibility to honor America 's seniors so I brought Republicans and Democrats together to strengthen Medicare . Now seniors are getting immediate help buying medicine . Soon every senior will be able to get prescription drug coverage , and nothing will hold us back . I 've searched the text of his speech for any mention of the double digit in the cost of Medicare premiums . I couldn 't find any . If Bush suddenly dropping news of the largest increase in Medicare history on America 's seniors is honorable , it 's no wonder that whenever he calls John Kerry 's service honorable , he has a smirk on his face . Do I forget the lessons of September 11th and take the word of a madman , or do I take action to defend our country ? Faced with that choice , I will defend America every time . Because we acted to defend our country , the murderous regimes of Saddam Hussein and the Taliban are history , more than 50 million people have been liberated , and democracy is coming to the broader Middle East . Now , I 'll admit I haven 't read the report from the September 11th commission , but what do the lessons of September 11th have to do with Saddam Hussein ? ( And does anyone else appreciate the irony that the " word of a madman " turned out to be more accurate than all the words of all the intelligence agencies in all the word ? ) Bush didn 't mention that because the American liberators shut down al Sadr 's newspaper , they turned him from someone who wrote about killing American soldiers , to someone who killed American soldiers . Again , my opponent and I have different approaches . I proposed , and the Congress overwhelmingly passed , 87 billion dollars in funding needed by our troops doing battle in Afghanistan and Iraq . My opponent and his running mate voted against this money for bullets , and fuel , and vehicles , and body armor . When asked to explain his vote , the Senator said , " I actually did vote for the 87 billion dollars before I voted against it . " Then he said he was " proud " of that vote . Then , when pressed , he said it was a " complicated " matter . There is nothing complicated about supporting our troops in combat . Yes , Kerry 's approach differs with the President 's . He tried to insert some modicum of fiscal responsibility into the Bush White House when he pressed for the ill - conceived tax cuts to be rolled back or suspended to pay for the Iraq war . Everyone knew 87 billion was not enough and to continue passing piecemeal funding requests through deficit - spending would weaken our country and continuously leave soldiers at the mercy of the President and Congress . Kerry tried to change the way the war was funded to ensure that the soldiers would always have enough for body armor and the like . But the President prefers to disguise the costs of his nation - building exercise and leave it up to soldier 's families to buy their own protective vests . September 11th is what matters , and when the sh * t hit the fan , President Bush was right there for the city . What ? Oh , he didn 't get there until the next day ? But the President of the United States was not there . Forget the ' My Pet Goat ' seven minutes , he couldn 't manage to be at Rudy 's side until three days after the disaster . Leadership ? HA ! In the weeks and months after 9 / 11 , the Bush administration was even worse . The EPA issued a report giving the ' all clear ' signal for hundreds of first responders working the pile and the thousands of employees in the area . The air is fine , it said , don 't worry . What state is the Vice President from ? Oh yeah , I know , Texas . But I mean , what state does he say he 's from because the constitution doesn 't allow the President and Vice President to be from the same state . New York City will receive $ 61 . 8 million less for police and security in 2004 than it did in 2000 . Even with the additional homeland security funding provided to the city in the wake of 9 / 11 , the Bush budget has cut the funding stream running from Washington to New York City by more than a third . So , if Bush wants to run on what he did during his " one day " in office , go ahead . But I was there , I remember . Interviewer : Karol Sheinin is covering the action , she 's acting as one of a handful of bloggers posting unfiltered thoughts on the internet . What 's blogging , you say ? ( Why , yes , I do say what is all this blogging the kids are into these days ? ) Well , Karol is here to explain , she joins us by telephone from Madison Square Garden to talk about her experience . Welcome Karol . Karol : It 's kind of a personal journal where you post whatever you feel like . I write about mostly politics , but I veer off into other subjects as well . It 's updated regularly and that 's what makes it a blog specifically . Interviewer : What has this experience been like for you at the convention ? Karol ( audibly surprised by the question ) : OH ! It 's been really exciting . . . um . . . it 's been a lot of fun . I 've interviewed a lot of different political figures , different Senators and . . . um . . . other leaders . I interviewed Ann Coulter today . ( giggle giggle ) ( Hmm , is she laughing because she called Coulter a " leader " or is it the helium high ? I guess we 'll never know . ) Interviewer : Oh , you did ? Interviewer : So , what can people get from your blogs that they can 't get elsewhere on TV or say the newspapers ? Yeah , answer me that oooh , I 'm a blogger and I 'm so cool . I actually think I heard her add , bi - atch at the end of the question , but I can 't be sure . Karol : It 's been great . I have a lot of people checking it this week that are new readers and . . . um . . . I 'm getting a lot . . . um . . . you know . . . hits and comments and all kinds of stuff . It 's been really exciting . Lawyers who appeared in the city 's arraignment court said , for example , that on Saturday a building superintendent named Andre Lebbt , 49 , was arrested while he was taking out the garbage . They also described arrests of a man walking home from a sushi restaurant , and another man dressed in a business suit going home from work . Why is it so hard for people to remember that an arrest is not proof of guilt ? " I can 't be at every place the president goes . I 've got a number of things to do tonight " Bloomberg said . " Sock drawers don 't organize themselves , " he added . Some have speculated that Bloomberg is afraid of too much one on one time with el Presidente . Others have hinted that he may be pissed at the Bushies for refusing to remove an ad which exploits the Olympic name . The ad which had been condemned by the IOC and the Iraqi soccer team has been said to hurt NYC 's chances of winning the Olympic games in 2012 . According to recent reports : I know . ' Dawn , you 're not a certified mental health specialist . ' Nope , I 'm not , but I am a politics junkie and I distinctly remember that when Howard Dean delivered his " concession " speech after the Iowa caucuses , everyone said he was nuts , and that included some mental health specialists . Nevermind the inconsistency of his message : that while national security shouldn 't be used for partisan purposes , if America elects anyone but George W . Bush the French flag will fly over the Capitol building and we 'll be saluting Kofi Annan . His tone , his body language , his pitch . . . nothing but fear and paranoia . Maybe that comes with being the lone Democrat in stadium full of Republicans . . . lord knows I don 't envy him that position . Or maybe it 's knowing that one day he 'll be the lone speaker at the Republican convention in a room full of Democrats . . . again , brrrrr . Today , demonstrators at the pier protested the conditions under which the detainees are held there , said Donna Lieberman , executive director of the New York Civil Liberties Union . " Unfortunately we still have no satisfactory response from the city about the conditions at Pier 57 , " she said . Protesters have complained about being held for as long as 30 hours in miserable conditions before being arraigned or receiving a desk appearance ticket . Several said they had contracted rashes from sleeping on the pier 's floor , had gone hours without food and were given a Dixie cup to use to drink water . Some complain they have no access to their lawyers . I also couldn 't help but smile at his invocation of Richard Nixon . I don 't know the stats , but I 'm going to guess that Nixon 's name hasn 't been mentioned at a Republican convention in 30 years . Maybe the old guy 's making a comeback . But at Lisa 's birthday , I actually found myself thinking " I 'm so blogging that . " I even had the notebook to prove it . ( When I started jotting notes , Jessica said I looked like a Kindergarten teacher . And to ensure that there was no misunderstanding , Ari explained that it was because I am frumpy and spinster - like . ) By the way , Ari 's real name is actually " Eri . " She 's such a self - hater . Lisa picked out a terrific little restaurant on the Upper East side . Somewhere around the third glass of Sangria , I led a round of ' Happy Birthday , ' ably accompanied by Candace . Then there was some cheerleading that I think spelled L - I - M - A . But it left me I wondering why all the fuss about a bean ? Lisa too seemed a bit confused by the whole thing , refused to dance on the table and hastily beat a retreat for the other side of the room . I , on the other hand , was locked in my own epic struggle with the waitress . Let me be clear , it wasn 't really about how much Sangria I could drink . I learned that after a week in Spain on Christmas vacation . No , it was about getting each glass to cost as little as possible . Could I make it down to a dollar each ? Or maybe even cents per glass . Thankfully , Ari , er . . Eri easily stepped into the role of threatening to kill me and telling me I dressed funny . Candace taught everyone the universal hand sign for " studying Russian " ( think snoopy dance fingers , except pointed down as if hunting and pecking keys on a typewriter . ) And Esther explained what the hell was going on in Donnie Darko . As always I managed to belt out a few eighties songs and do my little dance . Oh , FYI if you 're ever starving in the desert and need fondue , Don 't . Ask . Peter . # posted by Dawn Summers : 2 : 30 PM
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Longread The Yuri Dmitriev Affair By 7x7 - journal . ru May 11 , 2017 The 61 - year old researcher has spent nearly the last three months in Pretrial Detention Facility No . 1 in Petrozavodsk . During this time , solo pickets supporting Dmitriev have been held on the streets of the Karelian capital , his case has been discussed at a traveling session of the Presidential Human Rights Council , and the republic got a new governor . By Anna Yarovaya , 7X7 March 12 is , technically , the last day of historian Yuri Dmitriev 's term in police custody during the investigation of the accusations made against him . According to Dmitriev 's attorney , the historian will probably be indicted and his case sent to court . Yuri Dmitriev has been accused of producing pornography . Yuri Dmitriev . Photo : change . orgBut this article is not about the criminal case , which falls within the jurisdiction of law enforcement . Hoping for a objective investigation , we can only wait for a fair resolution to this situation . We decided it was important to tell readers about the cause to which the arrested historian has devoted his life . This article might be called a series of interviews about Dmitriev . It has transpired we knew almost nothing about him . On the other hand , it has become clear why a man like him might have been seen as " inconvenient " by the current regime . I met Yuri Dmitriev in 2012 . I was on assignment , shooting a story about the construction of houses on the site of a former cemetery , and it led me to the historian . The story first grew into a ten - minute TV program , and then ballooned into an investigative film . We visited archives and former burial sites , traveled to working cemeteries , sat at a computer for hours on end searching for documents , read articles from conventions and laws , and basically worked on the film , Northern Point , together . ADVERTISEMENT What always struck me about Dmitriev was his enthusiasm , which materialized less in the help he gave me and more in his attitude to history , to events that had occurred many years ago . For example , in the same cemetery where I shot the film , he found the remains of a POW . None of the local authorities was in a hurry to bury the exhumed " youth , " as Dmitriev called him . So Dmitriev put the bones in his garage . A while later , he secured a spot in Peski Cemetery , found a sponsor to help him buy a gravestone , and asked the philologist Valentina Dvinskaya to translate the phrase " To the victims of war , disappeared but not forgotten " into German so that it could be engraved on the headstone . He did all this for an unknown man who had been killed over sixty years ago . The news of Dmitriev 's arrest was a shock to me . We had not communicated in a long while . A couple of years ago , we had planned to make a film about the burial of prisoners in the locks of the White Sea - Baltic Channel and the so - called Solovki execution transports . Dmitriev is indefatigable and has always been researching numerous topics . But it turns out that I 'm not writing about them now . Indeed , he was nearby . He held a solo picket in support of his arrested comrade . For over an hour , Razumov stood on Petrozavodsk 's main street holding a placard that read , " Happy birthday , Yuri Dmitriev , " enthusiastically telling passersby about what his friend had worked on his whole life . It would have been an unpardonable mistake to turn down such a conversation . Anatoly Razumov and Yuri Dmitriev . Photo : 7x7Razumov and I spoke on the phone a couple of days later . I had a sense of déjà vu . The same thing had happened when Dmitriev had told me about the military cemeteries in Petrozavodsk . He had not just spoken , but had asked me a lot of questions whose answers I hadn 't known . " Ig - no - rance , " he would kindly drawl , ordering me to jot down the title of yet another book I " should have read before meeting " with him . Razumov did not point out the gaps in my knowledge , but I heard about many things for the first time during our conversation . That was probably why the conversation did not turn into a proper interview . It was more of a monologue , a story about his friend , his cause , and his contribution to history . I decided it was vital to reproduce it verbatim , as Razumov told it to me , so readers could understand what a difficult and profound business Dmitriev had been involved in before his arrest . I have worked in the Russian National Library ( the Publichka ) since 1978 , and for over a quarter of a century I have been compiling and publishing The Book of Remembrance of Victims of Political Repression . In 1987 , I started gathering material , and in 1990 , compiling a card catalogue based on the published lists of the victims . I retyped biographical information about them in their birthplaces : Minsk , Tallinn , Pskov , Petrozavodsk , Murmansk , Tver , Novgorod , Kiev , etc . The first books of remembrance were published in the late eighties and early nineties . Books of remembrance were only taking shape as a genre then . There had always been lots of talk about the war , about the Great Patriotic War : as a topic it was always at the center of attention . But to compile books of remembrance about the war that included lists of the dead and missing in action was permitted only during the second thaw , in 1985 . Prior to this , the names of the dead and the missing were not published . The first books of remembrance about the war were usually quite modest in terms of structure : surname , first name , patronymic . They didn 't even always include information about the place of death , and of course there was no personal information about these people . But a mere four years passed , and we had permission to publish the names of the victims in newspapers , magazines , and books . We were permitted to clean up the burial sites of those who had been shot or died in captivity that had been found . It had been forbidden to write and say anything about the millions of those who had been killed and gone missing during the purges and crackdowns . Whatever person you asked about , nothing was known about him . Then suddenly we could publish this information . Different people in different parts of the country were compiling books of remembrance . There were lots of enthusiasts , like me and Yuri Dmitriev , albeit not in every region of Russia . None of us had thought we would live to see this great day . I kept track of all the new publications on the history of the Soviet purges and crackdowns . We also needed a bibliography for Pages of History , a digest , published by Lenizdat , of which I was a co - editor . I kept track of the search for sites where the executed had been buried . I was educated not only as a historian but also as an archaeologist . Of course , I knew about the famous site of the Katyn massacre near Smolensk , which had been found long ago . But it was not common knowledge in the Soviet Union or , rather , you were not supposed to know about it , much less about other burial grounds . Of course , there were such burial sites near every major town and city in the Soviet Union . In 1988 , it was a bombshell when they found Kurapaty , an execution site from the time of the Great Terror near Minsk . I published the Belarusians ' story of the find in the Leningrad newspaper Smena , and we wrote wrote about Kurapaty in the Pages of History digest . Everything was read hot off the presses . The reporters at Leningradskaya Pravda called on Petersburgers to report all suspicious areas and find " our local Kurapaty . " Thus , in the spring of 1989 , a special security facility was found in the village of Levashovo near Leningrad . It was the largest burial site of executed prisoners in the Soviet Union . I followed all these developments closely . I knew , of course , about the work in the Karelia . Even before we had met , I had heard about Yuri and what he was doing . In 1996 , I was editing the second volume of The Leningrad Martyrology , which dealt with October 1937 , and I needed to publish a list of the prisoners at Solovki Prison who had been shot . Where were they executed ? Even state security officers in Petersburg didn 't know : they had no information about it . Yeah , they had been shot somewhere , and it was clearly not in Leningrad , because there was a record showing that one of the regular executioners , NKVD Captain Matveev , had been seconded to Kem in connection with this list of prisoners . That was all . The second volume was published in 1996 with a preface by Dmitry Likhachov , and in July 1997 Sandarmokh was found . My Lord ! There was no doubt prisoners transported from Solovki had been shot there in October and November 1937 . That was the first time I heard Dmitriev 's name : in the reports about the find and from Petersburg members of Memorial , whom I knew quite well . But I met Dmitriev later , as part of the Returned Names project . In 2000 , an attempt was made to compile a single database containing the names of all victims of political persecution in the Soviet Union . It was an international project : we were supported by the Ford Foundation . During an academic conference in Nizhny Tagil , my colleagues asked me to be the project 's regional coordinator for Northwest Russia . I surveyed the entire region , and that was when I met Yuri personally . Like Yuri , I 'm from a military family . Our family wandered a lot . My father served in different places , mostly in his homeland of Belarus , but also with the Soviet troops in Germany . We lived for a time in Berlin , and then Eberswald . I was never able to make friends with my agemates , and I lost track of many of them . I started to make friends at university , and then on the job , the job I got at the library after finishing university . It was God 's will that I do this , that I found a vocation in life that totally suited me . I had always been disturbed by the question of why it was wrong to think freely and ask questions , why a person 's life was so little valued that it could be ended just like that . A person should live a long life . Why are the tormented deprived not only of life , but even of a grave ? You can imagine how I felt when it was possible to talk about executed prisoners . Nothing had been known about them . Not even their relatives said anything about them : either they lied or didn 't know . I took on the job of restoring memory . All the colleagues I met in this new life became kindred souls , but a select few became close friends . Yura was a close friend from the moment we met . Yura immediately took me in his jalopy to Sandarmokh . We barely made it to Medvezhyegorsk in that wreck . From time to time , he would roll down the window for Veda ( aka the dog Ved ' ma , " Witch " ) , and she would happily bark at everything in the vicinity , thus replacing the horn , which didn 't work in that car , I think . Yura showed me Sandarmokh . That was important to me . By that time , his book The Karelia Memorial Lists was nearly ready . I soon attended the book 's presentation . I opened up the packages from the printers ( Yura taught me not to cut the plastic tapes but undo them ) , handed copies out to people , and made my own speech . It was a wonderful presentation . Everyone spoke very well , including the relatives of the victims , who regarded Yura as an important , valuable person . Since then he has been one of my greatest friends , and a wonderful person with whom to speak when I want to talk frankly . I liked Yuri 's position . I absolutely understood him . He would just say , " Old women need to know where their dead are buried , and I 'm going to do everything to make that happen . " And he did what he could , and he still does that . I 'm more in the habit of listening rather than asking questions , which complements his outgoingness and talkativeness . Sandormokh . Photo : 7x7Until the summer of 1937 , Karelia was administered by the NKVD 's Leningrad Regional office , meaning that Karelian folk were persecuted here , and people from Leningrad ended up there : their lives crossed . Yura and I exchanged information about the victims : he gave me info about his victims , and I gave him info about mine . Finally , we set about comparing the information about the Solovki execution groups of 1937 and 1938 . Sandarmokh had been found , but that was the first group of executed Solovki prisoners . It was the first execution plan , the first " quota . " 1 , 200 people were supposed to be shot , and 1 , 111 were shot outside of Medvezhyegorsk . When was the next detachment of executed prisoners ? December 1937 , the group of prisoners in which Pavel Florensky was shot . Where they were shot remained a mystery . There was no mention of it in the papers I had found in the state security archives in Petersburg . It was forbidden to include information of this sort in the instructions . Here is an execution order , issued to Commandant Polikarpov : " 509 persons [ in fact , three people on the list had already been sent to Moscow ] from the Solovki Prison should be shot . " But where ? Seemingly , since Polikarpov was commandant of the Leningrad office , they would have been sent to Leningrad . At our own peril and risk , when we were editing the fourth volume of the Martyrology ( dealing with executions in December 1937 ) , we wrote that the Solovki prisoners had been shot in Leningrad . We published the fourth volume , but questions still remained . After all , there were no documents with accurate information . A third group of Solovki prisoners , another 200 people , was shot on February 17 , 1938 . The details about what happened to them were even murkier . If the second group had been transported to the mainland for execution in early December ( it was a warm year , and the shipping season ended late ) , it was altogether unclear where the 200 people were shot in 1938 . In 2004 , I decided to go on an expedition . It is each individual 's plight that matters to Yura and me , not statistics . When you read the files , the person appears right before you , and he doesn 't let you go . Yura and I agreed to travel to Solovki . I couldn 't find a more knowledgeable and closer person to help me look for something on the islands . We were armed with a description of the execution , drawn from the testimony of former Solovki Prisoner officers , interrogated during the Thaw : they claimed the 200 prisoners had been shot on the way from the Solovki Kremlin to the lighthouse on Sekirnaya Hill . I had never been to Solovki . I knew the local places names from looking at maps and papers . So we arrived there in 2004 . It was the first tentative expedition . We walked around looking . Yura would immediately stop at any suspicious spot . We would pitch tent in some places and try to probe the soil , but we didn 't find anything . We went again the next year . By then we had become friends with Father Matfei , rector of the Holy Ascension Hermitage , and he showed us all the suspicious spots on Sekirnaya Hill , drawing our attention to the vegetation , trees , and depressions . But I took ill then , and Yura wouldn 't let me go into the field . Yura is the sort of guy who is endlessly concerned about the people around him , albeit sometimes in a rough way . He laid me down with a temperature in a cell in the hermitage , and he went off with the writer Vasily Firsov , who had come along with us on the trip , to investigate one of the suspicious spots . Suddenly , they came running in : " We 've found them ! " Of course , I ran out to have a look and help them with the work . We then uncovered the remains of two prisoners who had been shot . I was unable to make the trip in 2006 : editing the forthcoming volumes of the Martyrology was taking up all my time . Teachers and students from the Moscow International Film School went to Solovki that year . They helped Yura clear the burial site of dry branches , undergrowth , and deadwood , and discovered many more pits . So the discovery of the cemetery where the executed prisoners were buried dates back to then . And yet our long - standing goal of finding the site where 200 people were executed , the so - called third Solovki quota , has not been fulfiled . There were no more such mass executions on the islands . The site should be a trench or gigantic pit or series of pits . We haven 't found the place , but we 'll find it someday , just like the place where the group in which Florensky was shot , the so - called second Solovki quota . I think we should search near Lodeynoye Field , because the highly decorated executioner Shalygin was dispatched to the vicinity of the Lodeynoye Field Camp . I have told all this to Yura . This arrest , you see … Not only did they trash his nest , his apartment , brazenly , tramping all over it in their boots , but they also dealt a blow to the work . I 'd been helping Yura edit two new books of remembrance and had been sending him information from time to time . Yuri has edited another book of remembrance long ago : it just needs to be printed . And when it comes to the search for the execution sites , the only hope lies with Yura 's expeditions . I have outlined the range of places to search , and Yura had set about searching . He had got his film school kids involved in the work . Yura and I have work to do together . I hope he will be released in a good frame of mind and finish the two books of remembrance , and I 'll persuade him to publish the third . And if we have the manpower , we will find the places where the second and third Solovki quotas are buried . Despite the fact Yuri is easy to get along with , he has keen insight into human nature . He is quite good at sizing up a person , sensing the direction his thoughts are moving . When he comes to Petersburg for the presentation of the latest volume of the Martyrology , what with his speeches , jokes , and irony , people here are just ready to idolize him . I have thought about why this has happened to Yura now . I have my own opinion on this score , of course : how things were going in that direction , how everything was shaping up . I remember the Brezhnev era . I thought then I would not outlive the Soviet leadership , because I tried to speak my mind . Sometimes you 'll end up sweating like a pig , but if you can , you should try and speak your mind . Yura also acts that way and speaks that way , often in an absolutely denuded , harsh form . I imagine lots of people really don 't like either what he does or how he talks and acts . Basically , it somehow happened the decision was made to shut him down , to knock him out of his work and life . For Yura is one of a kind , there is no one else like him anywhere else in Russia . And if he is shut down in this way , and it 's done a little more dirtily than usually , everyone else will hunker down . I won 't bother speculating about the specifics , but I 've read my share of Soviet - era investigative files from the archives , and our modern justice system is based on that Soviet system , alas , not on the old Russian system . I know the clichés , we all remember them . " People don 't go to jail in this country for nothing . " " The prosecutor and the police see eye to eye on the case , and that 's how it should be . " " Our courts are the most humane and fairest in the world . " I think all this will definitely start to recede someday in connection with some case . Will it be Yura 's case ? I don 't know . But there is a chance they hung all this on the wrong man and don 't understand the strength of his spirit . I think about the horrible purges and persecutions of the Soviet era . I don 't think the crackdowns were harsher during one period and less harsh during a different period . They always existed . Only they existed relative to the political moment , and the persecutions were modified only in those terms . However the regime wanted to crack down on its enemies that was how it cracked down on them . One of Yuri Dmitriev 's book about Sandormokh . Photo : 7x7The current Russian legal system can be described as follows . If we call pre - revolutionary Russia Russia 1 , it was followed by the Soviet Union , which wasn 't even Soviet Russia , but let 's call it Russia 2 for argument 's sake . Where do live now ? At best , in Russia 2 + , because there is no Russia 3 . It hasn 't come into being . It hasn 't understood or realized itself . It has its roots in the Soviet past and grows out of that past . The legal system of the current Russian state doesn 't hold a candle to the system that existed prior to 1917 . It 's flesh of the flesh of the Soviet system . I have been interviewed on the subject several times , on the question of whether the purges could happen again and whether they could be even worse . But they are already happening : we have crackdowns right now . Could they intensify ? Could they become scarier ? You can never say never , but our job is to take a stand against political persecution and stand firm . Gleb Yarovoi , my husband and colleague , was the first to meet Katerina . He was the first reporter with whom Yuri Dmitriev 's eldest daughter agreed to talk about her father 's arrest . We then communicated through social networks , and there were money transfers for Dmitriev , which different people sent to Katerina through me . Then we finally met in person at Dmitriev 's house . The last time I had been in the apartment was three years ago . Cigarette smoke , the buzz of the computer , a cup of coffee , and a bar of Osobyi chocolate : that is how I remember working on Northern Point . I cannot imagine how I would have managed without Dmitriev . It was he who showed me an entire period in the history of Petrozavodsk , a time of POW camps , POWs who died in the postwar city from being worked to death and were buried , and the modern residential buildings erected a short time later on top of their remains . The apartment is completely different now : empty , quiet , gloomy . Disturbed by the police , Dmitriev 's workplace is no longer cosy . A lone pack of Belomorkanal cigarettes lies amidst papers , cables from the computer equipment dangle from his desk , and amongst other books I see the blue cover of The Memorial Lists of Karelia , which Dmitriev and Ivan Chukhin worked on for many years . The apartment 's owner , torn on December 13 from his customary working atmosphere , gazes on the scene reproachfully from a portrait hung on the wall . " He had a dog then , Veda , short for Ved ' ma [ " Witch " ] . She was with him on all the trips , on all the digs . He found her on Friday the thirteenth , so he called her Ved ' ma . He never went anywhere without here . When she died , Dad cried over her , " Katerina tells me , showing me a photo of a dappled mongrel , seated at Dmitriev 's feet . Did your father tell you and your brother what he did , where he would go , what he was investigating ? Of course . I remember that Dad was constantly going on different digs . He was constantly studying skulls , bringing them home . I was still in kindergarten then . We probably didn 't pay much mind to the particulars of his work . But as long as I can remember , he would sleep a couple of hours day . He would sit poring over those cards , he constantly had to dictate something . When we were a bit older , he tried to explain things to us . For example , my great - grandfather , Mom 's grandfather , had been shot . Dad found Great - Granddad 's burial site in a memorial book : the Zaretsk Cemetery next to Exaltation of the Cross Cathedral in Petrozavodsk . I cannot speak for my brother , but I 'm a daddy 's girl , and I have always been around him . We would be sitting together , and he would tell me about the plights of people , how they were arrested , and why they might have been arrested then . He was always interesting to be around . His work has always interested me from a personal viewpoint . It 's frightening and , at the same time , interesting . It depends . I think sometimes he would have gladly refused our " help . " Say , when my brother and I were teenagers , we were terribly curious about what was on Dad 's computer . We got on the computer and poked the keys . Dad came in , and he was totally shocked : we had accidentally deleted all his files . So then we had to sit there and help him restore everything . It was interesting at one time , but at a certain point it irritated me . Imagine : I was fifteen years old , my friends were waiting to go for a walk , and he would say , " Help me . " And I would sit and dictate to him , and he would be looking for each letter with one finger , hammering out the dates . I would freak out then . I can 't say I went that often . But as they say , seldom but to the point . One day , Dad said to us , " Who 's going with me tomorrow to Medvezhyegorsk ? " My brother and I immediately said neither of us was going , we didn 't want to . But at six in the morning , for reasons I can 't explain , I jumped out of bed when Dad was getting ready to go and said , " Wait ! I 'm going with you . " And so we set out for the digs . We lived in a cottage on the shore of a lake . Dad 's colleagues from Petersburg and a group of soldiers were with us . The amount of walking we did then was inexpressible . We were constantly on foot . Dad and his colleagues would split up and discuss things amongst themselves . Dad understood , of course , that I needed to eat , that I needed breaks , that it was hard for me , but all the same we walked and searched a great deal . Ultimately , we found what we were looking for . We found Sandarmokh . Probably because Dad was calm about it , I reacted to the remains more or less calmly . The soldiers chuckled nervously when they found bones , and there were people who fainted , wailed , and felt sick . I remember there were very many gadflies and horseflies . The mosquitoes seemed like paradise compared with them . I then had the impression ( maybe I believed in the transmigration of souls ) that the horseflies were the people we had found . And I felt peaceful and scared at the same time . It 's hard to convey the emotions . It came with time . I would often ask him why he was always sitting at the computer and writing or retyping something . He would say , " I don 't know who I was in my past life , but I 've understood the meaning of my life now , and I know I have to do this . " When I was older , I would constantly tell him to relax and ask him how he could spend so much time sitting poring over the lists and working at the computer . He would say , " I can 't relax . I have to finish the book . They 're waiting for me . " Yet he didn 't do it for money . When The Book of Remembrance came out , people would tell him that he could sell it , maybe even for good money . But he would always reply , " I can 't make money off of people for whom these memories matter , because everyone should know where their loved ones are buried . " I came to a new awareness after his arrest . I knew that Dad had a lot of acquaintances , but I didn 't expect such support . When I told him how much his friends and colleagues had supported him , he even shed a tear . It 's very difficult . Not everyone is psychologically capable of coping with it . After Sandarmokh , I was in Krasny Bor Forest when the cemetery there was opened . We went there several years ago . They had this program : children sang songs , there was a portable belfry that people played , and very poignant poems were recited . I haven 't been to Sandarmokh for a long time . A lot of people used to go there , crowds of people . But nowadays fewer and fewer people make the trip . The last few years , however , my son has gone there . He is now the same age I was when we found Sandarmokh . So the baton has been passed , as they say . Valentin Kaiser is a longtime friend of Yuri Dmitriev . The news of his friend 's arrest certainly shook him , too . Kaiser has been setting up a shipping museum in a basement room at the River Academy . Now he recalls that he once helped Dmitriev establish a Museum of Victims of Political Repression , but city hall evicted it due to the tenant 's utter pennilessness . Yura and I met in the 1980s , when the Popular Front formed . Back then , Yura cried , " Clobber the Communists ! " He was an assistant to Ivan Chukhin , a deputy to the USSR Supreme Soviet . In his book The Practice of Terror in Karelia , Chukhin wrote , " I took up this question to rehabilitate my father , because I found his signature on thirty - four execution orders . " After Chukhin passed away , Yuri continued his cause . Valentin Kaizer . Photo : 7x7I have tried to help Yura , but it 's quite difficult to help him . Working with this stuff , especially digging , is quite difficult . I once traveled with him to Krasny Bor Forest , where we found Japanese spies in a common grave . There were these green lacquered shoes in the grave : there was one Japanese woman in the city then . There were also twelve pairs of leather shoes : they belonged to the Japanese spies . I watched the soldiers digging and dragging them out . It 's not my thing . It 's quite heavy psychologically . There are many investigative files where the pages are covered in blood or torn . Only he alone could cope with this specifics of this , as well as the digging and reburials . Moreover , he did it in keeping with the scientific method , measuring and describing everything . At one time , Yura had a Museum of Victims of Political Oppresion , at 25 Lenin Prospect , in a basement . He had collected wheelbarrows there , hardware , and God knows what else . But then the mayor 's office leased the space commercially , and Yura dragged everything in bags to a garage . A year ago , Yuri said they were trying to put the squeeze on him . It 's my opinion , but I think the top brass really didn 't like what he was doing . The children of the people involved in the executions are usually amongst the top brass . They really don 't like it when people start making names and surnames public . There was this incident . When Ivan Chukhin passed away , his last book , The Practice of Terror in Karelia , was published . The book 's final chapter is untitled : it contains the surnames of the men who did the shooting . During the book 's presentation at the university , a young man expressed his outrage : " Who gave you the right to mention my father 's surname ? " Yuri said to him , " First , I didn 't write the book . Go to the cemetery and ask Ivan Chukhin why he did it . Second , if you had any brains , you 'd keep your mouth shut . If you had a conscience , you 'd hang yourself from a rope for having a dad like that . " Yura is an abrupt fellow by nature . He can tell anyone to go frack himself , even a minister . Well , they sentenced someone from Moscow Memorial to seven years in prison [ ? ] , and now they 're trying to get at the rest of them to put an end to their cause . But I don 't think it will work out for them , because human souls are immortal . I 'll give you an example . When we took people to Sandarmokh for the first time , we had just stepped onto the path , and it was quiet in the forest , not a hint of a breeze , and suddenly the crowns of the trees stirred so furiously that this roar resounded over the whole forest . Yura said then that people 's souls had waited so many years to be remembered . I certainly don 't believe Yura could do the things of which he has been accused . First , he 's not stupid : there 's no point being involved in this nonsense . Second , when I spoke with the police investigator , I told him that in order to do what Yura has been accused of , one would need lots of time , but when would he have managed to do the huge amount of work he was doing ? Women avoided him because the work was his first wife . Olga Kerzina : They Have a Pure , Cheerful Relationship Olga Kerzina is director of the Moscow International Film School . Like many of the people with whom I spoke , she was drawn to Yuri Dmitriev by a passion for history and , specificially in her case , an interest in Solovki . But Kerzina is not simply an associate of Dmitriev 's but also the godmother of his youngest daughter . In the early 2000s , we had a project entitled Freedom . We were trying to understand how freedom was understood by people imprisoned in the 1930s , for these were people from the aristocracy and the intelligentsia , and how the process works nowadays . We made a film about the Solovki Camp , interviewing the convicts who were still alive then . As part of the expedition , we went to a juvenile penal colony in Vologda . That was our itinerary . But there was one other stop , Petrozavodsk . We were trying to figure out who worked on history here , and that 's how we found Dmitriev . He immediately amended our itinerary and took us to Sandarmokh . Thus , in 2000 , the first generation of students met him . That 's when we got the idea to make trips to Solovki . All we knew then was that it was the first camp established under Lenin . So of course when we met Yuri in Petrozavodsk , his stories made a big impression on us . He inspired us with the idea of erecting a monument on Solovki . In 2002 , we erected a memorial cross ( produced in the Solovki cross - making workshop of Georgy Kozhokar ) in the Philipp Pustinya . We regard it as an echo of the inspiration we felt after meeting Dmitriev . Yes , and with stories about how to work with history , what its peculiarities and features are . But we really got to know each other and became friends later . In 2005 , Yuri found an burial site on Sekirnaya Hill on Solovki . It was a really serious place for us . In 2006 , he asked us to work on a memorial . In the summer of 2006 , we had seven days of intense work with Dmitriev on Sekirnaya Hill . We had a lot of help from Father Matfei . He and Yuri supervised the work . So you could say our real collaboration began with the establishment of a cemetery on Sekirnaya Hill in 2006 . The film school kids , as many people call them , are in fact teenagers , children , basically . What was their attitude to work that was anything but childish ? Even many adults cannot cope with this work psychologically . The film school students weren 't involved in the digs , because it 's a serious business . A prayer has to be performed , and the whole thing is complicated . But you should realize this place on a hillside was an impenetrable forest , a pine and spruce forest . It was hard even to walk through it without scratching yourself . Basically , we cleared the whole place from scratch . We pruned the dry branches , carried away fallen trees , and made stairs from the boulders . Then we set up benches , dragged sand from a quarry to fill in the graves , and helped erect the crosses . Vasily Firsov and Yuri were doing the excavations then , and we did everything else , but under Dmitriev 's guidance . For example , we marked the premises of the cemetery . First , we wrapped tape around the trees , and then we drafted a map so the cemetery would be included on the map of Solovki . And it 's still underway . In 2007 , we put up a stand there , and then a chapel . In 2008 , a memorial cross in memory of the Solovki neo - martyrs was erected next to the cemetery . That cross was also built in Georgy Kozhokar 's studio . The main breakthroughs happened in 2006 and 2007 : they were the most dynamic years . Then we took a break , because Yuri adopted Sveta [ name changed ] then . We resumed work in 2011 . But the cemetery is a burial site from 1929 , and Dmitriev was looking for the third group of Solovki prisoners transported off the islands and shot , and then the second group as well , the group in which Pavel Florensky was shot . After Anatoly Razumov hypothesized that Lodeynoye Field was the next place where prisoners were transported and shot , we organized an expedition there . Yuri and Sveta joined us then , and after that she took part in all our summer expeditions . So it turns out that since 2011 , we have gone on two summer expeditions , to Lodeynoye Field and Solovki . Yuri tried to be involved in both trips . We have somehow impercetibly segued to Sveta 's appearance . I know that you 're her godmother , and this choice mattered a lot both to Dmitriev and to the girl herself . How did you make this decision ? He introduced Sveta to us in 2009 . She was still small then , and he wasn 't traveling anywhere then . He just came to see us in Petrozavodsk . And when he took her on an expedition for the first time , our kids made friends with her right away , of course . She 's a wonderful child . Yuri had long spoken of the fact he want to baptise her , and he wanted to do on Sekirnaya Hill , because the place meant so much to him , it was so bound up with his work . It was Father Matfei who baptised her . He took it seriously . I know he discussed it with Katya . And the choice was a serious one to him , an important aspect , partly due to the fact that he had been adopted himself , and as long as he had the strength he wanted to give another person the same chance . At the same time , he took great care of her during these trips , and yet it mattered that she be able to do everything herself : cook , dress herself , and clean up . He raised an independent lady . Of course , he 's amazing . What do our students find interesting ? His determination to pursue his cause , the fact he fears nothing , that he seeks the means to do something even when obstacles arise and things don 't work . Well , and the goal itself is noble . He has a very profound understanding of his cause . Also , you can always count on him . The summer of 2007 was quite chilly . It was raining buckets the whole time , the temperature was around ten degrees Centigrade , and we had to work in the rain , but the bathhouse hadn 't really been set up yet . The students were really freezing . He then fired up the stove and showed how to caulk the windows , how to start a fire in the rain when the firewood is damp , and how to chop firewood generally . Basically , he was an exemplar of how to survive in difficult conditions . And despite the fact that outwardly he seemed harsh and abrupt , it was only outwardly . In fact , he 's a quite sensitive person on the inside , and a truly good father . I 'll tell you an interesting story . In 2014 , when we worked in Lodeynoye Field , he and Sveta came . He was then still working as a guard at a factory . He got his pay once and brought it home , but Sveta took it to school and handed it out to the children . I was stunned by his reaction . He was glad that the child was growing up to be a generous person , that she didn 't take it all for herself , but gave it to her friends . Meaning he wasn 't angry or upset . He was genuinely glad that his child was generous . And the kids gave nearly all the money back . It 's impossible to convey . They have a pure , cheerful relationship . It 's amazing how one can strike out against a loved one like that . It 's hard to live that down . When I found out that Flige was coming to Petrozavodsk with the commission from the Presidential Human Rights Council , I had to see her . We met not just anywhere , but in Sandarmokh . It probably could not been any other way . Quite right . The fact is that Sandarmokh was found thanks to the work of two search teams . Starting in the late 1980s , Veniamin Iofe and I searched for huge number of people who had gone missing on Solovki in 1937 . Our search was gradual , and by 1997 we were led to the Medvezyegorsk District by different sources , to this place . But what does it mean to be led to a place by archival documents ? It means being led to the place with the accuracy of a single square kilometer . And at that moment , the spring of 1997 , we met Yura . He and Ivan Chukhin had been working together for many years searching for people shot on verdicts rendered by the so - called Karelian NKVD troika . It wasn 't quite that way . Basically , the execution site was not listed on certificates of implemented death sentences in all regions . Karelia is an exception in this sense . The place of execution is listed on nearly all the certificates , but to the nearest settlements , for example , Petrozavodsky , Segezha , Medvezhyegorsk , and so on . By the time we met , Yura had been searching for the burial sites of people shot after being sentenced to death by the Karelian troika for many years . He had found Krasny Bor , and different points in the vicinity of Petrozavodsky . And he had his own notions of where this place was located in the vicinity of Medvezhyegorsk . When we met , we immediately had a common research interest and we agreed to make a trip here . That was July 1 , 1997 . The three of us , Yura and I , led by Veniamin Iofe , came here . Although in fact there were five of us , because Yura 's daughter Katya and his dog were with us . One day . You wouldn 't believe it : one day ! The fact was that we were fantastically well prepared . We had found this spot in the archive documents and came here . So set to work . In May , however , Iofe had made an agreement with the Medvezhyegorsk District administration . Its head supported the expedition and had agreed with the nearest military unit , which sent soldiers to do the work of uncovering the burial pits . The soldiers were digging . It was one empty pity after another , and at the same they were giggling . Yura was dubious that we should search near the quarry mentioned in certain documents . He began running around in circles . Then he walked up and said , " I think I 've found them ! " He showed us two saucer - like shapes on the ground . In summer , they were quite visible : as time passed , the mass burial pit was sinking . We moved to this spot with the soldiers . They dug just as cheerfully , giggling as they did . Then suddenly they jumped out of the two - meter - deep pit ( the burial was quite deep ) as if they were on springs , frightened . That same day we summoned the prosecutor 's office , and the site was designated a mass grave . Yes , a memorial was opened here on October 27 . 1997 was the sixtieth anniversay of the Great Terror , the sixtieth anniversary of the executions . At that time , we regarded October 27 as the day the first verifiable executions took , the first executions of the Solovki quota . Later , in 1998 , and this is quite important , at Memorial 's behest , the Karelian government and the Medvezhyegorsk District administration established a International Day of Remembrance here at Sandarmokh . Its date , August 5 , marks the beginning of mass punitive operations of the Great Terror in 1937 . People travel here from every region of Russia and from other countries . This commemoration has gone on for almost twenty years . Many execution grounds have been located , but many of them do not have clear boundaries . We don 't where they begin and end . Here the entire grounds have been reliably identified and fenced off . The second things is that now we know all the names of the people executed and buried at Sandarmokh . Yes , days of remembrance of the victims of the Soviet terror are held in various parts of the country . But these are usually regional commemorative days , attended by people from that region . This is how they are held in Petersburg , Moscow , and all the major cities . Sandarmokh is different , because here there are lots of people who were not inhabitants of Karelia . There were the convicts of Solovki and the Belbaltlag , who were shot in 1937 . These people were not free . They were either convicts or so - called special settlers who had remained in Karelia after serving their sentences . So the memory of these people draws people from different parts of Russia and different countries . Sandarmokh is a unique piece of completed research . It is to Yura 's tremendous merit that he collected all the information , and today we know by name all the people who lie here . In October 2016 , we launched the Sandarmokh website and produced a mobile app . We really hope the site will be popular . Indeed , the number of views of the site already shows that it 's popular . Sandarmokh is unique in another way . When we speak of memory , quite often at many historical commemorative sites these two notions - history and memory - diverge a bit . History and memory only partially intersect , because of traditions , because of legends , because of incomplete historical date , incapable of refuting these legends . This is how it is at Levashovo in Petersburg . If we speak of Levashovo as a commemorative site , it is the Great Terror in Leningrad that is commemorated . If we speak of the historical aspect , it 's all quite confusing . Of the 19 , 450 people interred there , we can identify only eight thousand . The others are unknown . In this sense , Sandarmokh is also a unique place . The names attached to the site have been completely verified . It 's difficult for me to say why this is . I don 't know what motivates them , and I find it hard to assess it . But I can say for certain that the tradition of holding the International Day of Remembrance on August 5 at Sandarmokh cannot be broken . This year marks the eightieth anniversary of the Great Terror and the twentieth anniversary of the discovery of the cemetary at Sandarmokh . So this year the days of remembrance will be especially solemn . In any case , round figures are quite important in human memory . The children of the victims , who are old and have been herew many times , attach a special importance to coming this year . For them , it will be eighty years since their father or grandfather was executed . We 'd like to thionk that this year the commeroration will be organized properly , up to par , with the support and involvement of the authorities . Like all of us , I am sure that everyone realizes the case is a frame - up . And when a case is a frame - up , it becomes political for that reason alone . But we won 't be guess who ordered the frame - up , although it will come to light sooner or later . Right now we have to do what we can and what we 're able to do : mount a public campaign in defense of Yuri Dmitriev . Sergei Krivenko : MemorialI had not planned to write about the arrest , but as I wrote the article , the idea that the Dmitriev case was the yet another demonstrative flogging of free - thinking people grew more and more firmly in my head . Many people link Dmitriev 's arrest to Memorial . Memorial itself links the Dmitriev case to the organization 's work . After Dmitriev 's arrest , there was talk that the Karelian branch of Memorial had not been active , and that Dmitriev himself , allegedly , had nothing to do with the organization 's work . We realize that this is far from the case . As a member of Memorial , tell us how Dmitriev ended up in Memorial ? Yuri Dmitriev has always been in the Memorial movement . We communicated with him , and he took part in events and conferences . There has always been a branch head in Karelia , but in recent years this person was not particularly active since he was elderly . In 2014 , however , we underwent re - registration , and we needed a presence in the regions . Dmitriev took over this work in Karelia . He went through the formalities of establishing a Karelian Republican Branch of the Memorial Society and headed it . At the meetings of the Presidential Human Rights Council in Karelia , when we talked about preserving memory , I detected two clear trends . On the one hand , the local authorities support all commemorative work . Even Dmitriev himself has been awarded a certificate of appreciation from the Republic of Karelia for his work in preserving historical memory . They are grateful for this work . At the same time , however , officials let it slip that this work should not be politicized . We don 't need foreign delegations or any interest on the part of foreigners . We 'll deal with it ourselves . But Dmitriev was quite active . Many foreign delegations went through him . Apparently , this didn 't suit the authorities entirely . At any rate , that was the impression I had . In mid 2016 , the Finnish newspaper Kaleva published an article by Petrozavodsk State University Yuri Kilin , which was subsequently cited by Izvestia and Zvezda TV . These publications argued that Sandarmokh was a place where Finnish invaders executed Soviet prisoners . So again the rhetoric leans toward the notion that Memorial had distorted reality . I think this is a general trend . There is no single coordination center , where the conspirators sit and lay their plans : now we 'll publish this article , and then we 'll do something else . The article was published in line with the zeitgeist , which is marked by the rehabilitation of Stalin 's name and anti - western rhetoric generally . I think everything has just converged . It resembles the situation in Soviet times when the authorities tried to draw attention away from Katyn , where Polish officers had been executed . The Soviet authorities found a tiny Soviet village called Khatyn , which had been burned to the ground by the Nazis , and they talked about it . It really was burned to the ground : that 's a fact . But subsequently Memorial 's researchers found documents in the archives that confirmed the Central Committee had pushed this news in order to blur the public consciousness : Khatyn / Katyn , either the Germans killed people there or they hadn 't . It is the same thing in this case . They are foisting a certain current of opinion on Sandarmokh . Maybe it was the Finns who did the shooting , maybe not . It produces an ambiguous perception . I know that during our visit , they sped up the case : they wanted to submit it for trial . That was what the defense attorney said after talking with the police investigator . But after our visit , the case was again sent back for further investigation . They had not filed charges yet . As for Sandarmokh , there will be a request in our recommendations , which are still being drafted , a request we will also send under seperate cover , that the council and the government of Karelia jointly participate in the August 5 International Day of Remembrance at Sandarmokh . It was interesting to observe society 's reaction after Yuri Dmitriev 's arrest . People seemingly split into two camps , all vying with each other to assert they didn 't or did believe the accusations . Everyone tried to remember something that would tip the majority in his or her favor . Interestingly , in the arsenal of those who tried to mock Dmitriev , there were no arguments , while many people had never met Dmitriev and knew nothing about him or his work . Yet for some reason they considered it their duty to come up with something and voice it to the public . But let these thoughts remain with the people who thought them . I decided it was important to publish letters of support from people who knew Dmitriev personally , people who were not afraid to speak out personally in their defense . Of course , these are only a few of them . [ The original Russian article contains a selections of such letters - TRR . ] This was where I should have ended the article , and I had finished it and nearly published it . But for some reason I put it off . After I found this letter in my mailbox , I understood why . Apparently , it was a sign . I could never imagine that such a trivial event as the arrest of Old Khottabych would cause such a public outcry . What matters is the reaction of normal people to the destruction of our family . The family is the most important thing . It shapes the personality and prompts a person to action . Any encroachment on the family by the state causes outrage among normal people . The enormity and impudence of the accusations against me only confirms the " human " essence of our current government . I 'm not afraid of the future . The worst thing that could happen has already come to pass : Sveta [ name changed - Anna Yarovaya ] has been taken away from us . She has again been deprived of a family and , at the whim of the state , plunged back into the life from I wrested her with great difficulty eight years ago . Over the eight years spent in our family , Sveta went from being a tiny , sensitive girl to a completely independent young lady with a well - formed worldview , a variety of interests , the capacity to help people , and quite hardy health . Sveta independently chose the Orthodox faither as her main support in life , and she independently made the decision to take up sport . That was also quite a happy decision . In a year , she won three medals and won the city championship in her weight category . Sveta merged so organically with our family that we had forgotten she hadn 't been with us since birth , and Sveta responded to us with the same love . How to return Sveta to the family ? How to raise her and give her a good education ? These are the questions that worry me more now than how many years the state is preparing to send me down for my civic stance . I see no other reasons for my " sudden " prosecution . Whose toes did I step on ? I haven 't found an answer yet . But I realize that everything happens according to God 's will . So far I cannot understand what role the Lord has given me for several years of my next life . Either I have been chosen to be a martyr or preacher or some kind of unifying element . The time will come and I will find out for sure . And then He will show me my way . But for the time being my attorney and I are fighting for our rights , fighting against the bias of the investigators and the blatant lies of the charges . The Independent Barents Observer follows the Code of Ethics of the Norwegian Press and the document Right and Duties of the Editor . We report under full editorial independence and have no external interference . Contact us
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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In 20 minutes we will begin the first step of our long journey home . We are taking a high speed train to Hong Kong . Tomorrow morning at 10 : 30 am China time ( 10 : 30 pm your time ) we will be leaving on a 15 1 / 2 hour flight home . I am filled with anxiety about the flight and how Colton will do . Please pray for us , for a smooth flight home . And for Colton to be comfortable and relaxed . The journey home is always exhausting . I 'm praying this time around it 's less exhausting . China . . . I will miss you tremendously . You are a part of my children . But there 's no place like home and I am dreaming of my own home right now with all of my children tucked away peacefully in their own beds . Thank you for praying for us and following our journey to Colton . Today started out bright and early . Since we are the only family from our agency , we took a cab to the US Consulate to apply for Colton 's Visa . The US Consulate is in a completely different building now so nothing was the same as it was for Halainah 's and Ava 's adoption . Our guide was unable to go into the building with us for security reasons . So we were completely on our own . There were a few people that spoke English there so it made things easier for us . Once we arrived in the correct room we saw a couple of families that we had met in Changsha from different agencies . So it was nice to chat with them . I think we are all in the same place right now . . . ready to go home . We all rose our right hand and took the oath together to never abandon our children and that all of our paperwork is true and accurate . Once that was complete we were fingerprinted again and we were sent on our way . Tomorrow our guide will pick up Colton 's passport with the Visa and our paperwork we will need in order to pass through immigration in the U . S . So this is the very last step in the process . After our Visa appointment we came back to the hotel to relax a little and eat lunch . And at night we went on a river cruise . At this stage we are all very tired and ready to head home . We really did not feel like going on the river cruise but we knew Halainah would love it so we pushed ourselves . I am glad that we did . It was very peaceful on top of the boat with the wind blowing and seeing the beautiful lights of Guangzhou . Halainah loved seeing the lights especially the rainbow bridge and rainbow building . It was a nice way to end our trip with the river cruise being our last tour . Tomorrow we begin to make our way back to the U . S . At 4 : 45 pm which is 4 : 45 am your time , we will depart from our hotel here in Guangzhou and head to Hong Kong via a high speed train . We have done this for our other 2 adoptions . It 's an exhausting trip so I pray that we are not all cranky by the time we arrive at our hotel . I remember arriving close to midnight when John 14 : 18 Today we went to Liu Hua Hu Park which is a huge park that is within walking distance from our hotel . It 's across a very busy street so we had to go through the underground tunnel to get to it . It was another very hot day . But the park is mostly shaded by huge trees so we weren 't standing in the scorching sun . We saw many local residents practicing Tai Chia and other exercises . There is equipment for adults to work out on . We saw a man who had to be in his 70 's doing some crazy exercises that we couldn 't do in a million years . Tony and I joked and said we need to live in China for a year to get in shape . There was a huge playground for the kids to play on with swings and slides and monkey bars . But Halainah 's eyes grew wide when she saw the amusement park area . At this point our guide had to go back to the office as someone 's paperwork at the Consulate was wrong . So she left us at the park and gave us directions to get back . Well that wasn 't such a good idea . Halainah wanted to go on some rides and play a few games . I went up to one game that she wanted to play which was a fishing game . You had to hold the fishing pole and catch fish that had magnets on them . I tried to give the woman money but she kept pointing me to something . I tried to find what she was pointing at and I found a ticket booth but no one was in it . So I told Halainah I was sorry but we couldn 't do anything at the park because no one understood me . Well , the look on her face broke my heart . You see , Halainah is a really good girl . . . so when she asks for something I want to give it to her to reward her for being so good . And her daddy feels the same way , so he set out on a mission to make her happy . We did find a place that was selling tickets but you had to buy specific tickets for each ride . And since we couldn 't tell the man which rides we wanted to ride , it was a complete guessing game . So we added some charades to it to try and act out which rides and games we wanted to do . In the end we got a few tickets and we had to hunt for the rides the After the park , we came back to the hotel to cool off , eat lunch and have Colton take a nap . We set out once again around 4 : 00 to Shamian Island . Shamian Island holds a lot of sentimental memories for us that we will cherish forever . We stayed at a hotel on the island when we adopted Halainah . It has many shops that sell Chinese souvenirs and children 's supplies . All adoptive families go to the island to pick up traditional Chinese dresses and outfits . We saw a few adoptive families today but the island isn 't what it used to be . The White Swan Hotel which was the main hotel that adoptive families stayed at is closed for renovations . So most shops have closed down because there isn 't enough business anymore . We were able to show Halainah a few of the landmarks that we visited with her and Ava and take a few photos . We also visited Michael 's shop which is the place that we bought all of our children 's chops . A chop is a hand carved stamp that you can have made with your child 's English name and Chinese name . We chatted a while with Michael and talked about how business isn 't what it used to be and he prayed it would get better . We bought a bunch of things from him and he presented us with a little gift which is a scroll that says " Praise God " in English and Chinese characters . I found it very fitting . And I am praising God for all the blessings he bestowed upon my life . Colton did amazingly well today . He sort of just went with the flow today despite the heat . As long as we fed him and let him nap he was happy . He was in the stroller most of the day today and he didn 't complain once . But he was so happy when he was able to stretch his little legs out when we got home . He is a chubby little guy for sure . Everyone says " big baby " to us . And he is a very big boy . I still don 't know how he fits into 12 month clothes but he does and there is room to grow . Maybe I am so used to my girls being tiny . Although Halainah is average size now but my Ava is still a little petite firecracker . We love you Ava and can 't wait to hugPosted by Oh my gosh when I tell you it 's hot here . . . you have no idea what HOT is . When we adopted Ava in August of 2011 I don 't remember it being this hot . You step outside and within seconds you are dripping wet . We are sweating in places that you wouldn 't think you could sweat . I know . . . too much information . It 's very hard to be outside which saddens me because I don 't want to spend my days in the hotel . But honestly it 's almost unbearable to be outside . Today we decided to venture out at about 9 : 30 to Yuexiu Park . It 's a huge park across from our hotel . It contains the symbol of Guangzhou , a huge sculpture of the Five Rams . Locals visit the park to practice Tai Chi and other exercises there . We saw people playing cards , playing instruments , singing and dancing . The locals don 't seem to mind the heat as much as we do . I guess they are used to it . The highlight of the part to Halainah was the lake filled with tons of Koi fish . Halainah desperately wanted to feed them and asked me if I had bread in my backpack . I told her no but I had her brother 's Cheerios in my backpack . She said " ok . . . that will work . . . besides everybody loves Cheerios . " She 's too funny . And she was right . . . the fish went nuts for the Cheerios . Halainah was loving it . And too bad for Colton . . . he was out of Cheerios until we made it back to the hotel . We only lasted about 1 1 / 2 hours outside in the heat before heading back . Halainah 's fever finally broke during the night last night . . . thank you for your prayers for her . She is still not feeling that great but she made it through the park . She 's complaining of a sore throat now but we are on day 2 of antibiotics so I 'm sure we are fine . Still praying the rest of us stay healthy . We spent a few hours in the hotel to rest and cool off . We went out to grab something to eat around 4 : 45 and the heat was much more bearable at that time . After dinner we went swimming in the pool . And after a swim in the pool , I threw my monkeys in the tub and they had a blast playing together . I can 't wait until I have all 3 of my monkeys in the tub ! Only a few more days and we will be making our way back home . I love China . I will be forever grateful to The People 's Republic of China for giving me 3 amazing and beautiful children . However , it 's time to come home . I 'm tired of living out of a suitcase and eating out everyday . I 'm tired of running all over the place . And I am getting a little tired of the stares . In the beginning I was totally ok with it . I get it . . . we are different . I get that the locals are genuinely happy for us and our children . I love the thumbs up that we get all of the time . But I just want to go back to our " normal " life . Halainah is struggling at this point too . She gets stopped all the time , the locals love to touch her face and tell her she 's pretty and they love to talk to her in Chinese . In the beginning Halainah would smile and say " Ni Hao " . But now she 's telling the locals , " I don 't speak Chinese " with a little bit of an attitude . We have tried to explain to her that they are just curious and to smile and be nice . But I sort of can 't blame her at this point . I think 2 weeks is a lot of time here and we are just ready to start our lives as a family of 5 . Colton is still a good baby . But he 's starting to show us more and more of his personality . He is at the point where he only wants to be held . It doesn 't matter if it 's me or Tony but he doesn 't want to be put down . So we are seeing more tears from him at this point because we can 't possibly hold him every second of every day . I think once we get home and can get him in a routine that may change . I am sure that he is loving be loved on everyday . So I can 't blame him for wanting to be in his mommy and daddy 's arms . There were no arms to hold him a lot in his orphanage . Tomorrow we are visiting another park and heading to Shamian Island to do some shopping . Halainah is excited about that . Only a few more days and we come home . . . can 't wait ! ! Our day started off bright and early once again . Part of the adoption process involves a medical exam for your adopted child . It does not take long , however , when you go to the office that performs the medical exams , it 's jammed packed with other families from all over that are adopting as well . It 's always nice to meet up with others who are at the same stage of the game as you . They check weight and hearing and a few other things . Luckily since Colton is so young he did not need his blood drawn for a TB test or any immunizations . Colton 's exam went really well and everyone can 't believe that he was listed under the special needs program due to his birthmark on his face . Seems really silly . We are very lucky in more ways than one . Not only is he really healthy , he is an amazingly sweet and easy little guy . He is happy 99 . 9 % of the time and is only sad when he is hungry or tired . Halainah is battling something right now so please keep her in your prayers . During our crazy journey from Changsha to Guangzhou yesterday Halainah developed a high fever at the airport . It shot up over 103 degrees . I have been keeping it down with Ibuprofen but once it wears off it shoots back up to 103 . We decided to start her on the antibiotics our doctor sent with us . I 'm so glad we have them . Usually I would never just start antibiotics without knowing what we are dealing with . But being on the other side of the world we decided that we don 't want to take any chances . So after Colton 's medical exam we decided we needed to spend the day inside trying to get Halainah 's health back in order . We all slept a lot today so I think that we all sort of needed a day of rest . We have been running non stop since July 2nd . Guangzhou is very nice . We love the familiarity of it . Since this is our third time here we know where the restaurants are and where to buy water . We are staying at a beautiful hotel which makes days like today not so bad . We have a few trips planned to different areas that we have never explored before . I 'm praying Halainah feels better so we can stick to our itinerary . And we are praying the rest of us stay healthy . Leaving Changsha was bittersweet yesterday . Colton 's orphanage changed me . It brought such a deeper sadness to me for the orphans of the world . I adopted 3 amazing children . I know their stories although there are many gaps in their stories , I know . But seeing in person the ones left behind , breaks my heart to the point that it 's hard to breathe . We had to turn our backs to the ones left behind , with our son in our arms promising to give him a better life , we had to walk away . But what about the others ? What about the little girl in Colton 's room that sat in a small little pink chair rocking back and forth staring at the floor ? Her eyes so desperate , her emotions non existent , her body so thin with bug bites all over ? What happens to her and all the others just like her ? I want to change the world , I want to do more . Maybe the Lord has something in store for me . . . I don 't know . All I know is that his heart is far more broken than mine . I watch my son blossom more and more everyday . He leans in for kisses now instead of pulling away . He smiles more when you play with him and cracks up laughing . He cries when we leave the room because he doesn 't want to be alone . He leans back in your arms instead of trying to sit upright . He puts his arms up for you to pick him up . His bug bites on his body are healing nicely . We love him more than anything and so thankful the Lord led us straight to him . Posted by We have been married for 13 years and dreamed of having children since we said " I do " . We have followed God 's miraculous plan to adopt our daughter , Halainah Grace . She has filled our hearts with an enormous amount of love and laughter . Our family is on a new journey to find Halainah 's mei mei in China . We devote our Sundays to God and are confident by God 's grace that he will complete our family someday .
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Welcome to my blog ! These pages feature photos , paintings , and poetry inspired by recent travels and experiences . Please also visit my Web site , KathrinBurleson . com Frank HlebakosMarch 4 , 1920 - December 1 , 2011 Sitting in Starbucks , this sunny morning in Monterey . My tea is finished , but I am not leaving just yet . I have internet access here and I am logged onto the online family album looking at the photo of my dad taken around 1942 . He looks so confident and handsome in his sailor suit , his whole life ahead of him , destined for great things . This was just before he was shipped off to the Aleutian Islandswhere he served as an airplane mechanic during the war . He also had a still which he and his buddy , Dan the Mexican , tended . From what I understand , they generously shared their moonshine up there in that cold , barren place , which made them quite popular with the other sailors . As tough and scary as it was , I think it was one of the best times of his life . Dad died yesterday at the age of 91 . The last ten years or so , he was someone I didn 't really know . Regret and resentment took their toll . Anger and hatred popped up in unexpected places and there was so little joy or happiness . I never could completely understand it , and came to accept that it only made sensein the dark closet of his memories . Interesting that he seems to be here with me nowjust hanging out in this coffee shop - - the dad that I loved and admired when I was growing up , the one for whom anything was possible . And now , finally , that may very well be true . No longer imprisoned by what might have been , he is free to live in the eternal now , content and at peace with what is . Posted by Judy , shown here with her award winning dog , Chip , is one of my agility teachers . She recently received an IPad from her very generous and thoughtful daughter so has renewed interest in the internet . Judy is a really good teacher and employs the same positive reinforcement with us as she encourages us to use with our dogs . Operant training . Emphasize the positive , ignore the negative ( to the extent that is possible and practical ) . With the onset of the rain season , practicing has become a little challenging . However the raccoons which have been terrorizing our place lately seem undaunted by the weather . Every night they tear out my tulip bulbs and throw them all over the yard and I often hear them stomping and cavorting on the deck . A couple of nights ago , they were lined up outside the French doors staring at us as we ate dinner . It is as if we are being invaded by Orcs and frankly , it is a little unnerving . We have tried the cayenne pepper mixture , the Scarecrow ( motion activated sprinkler ) . Nothing seems to work . In desperation I have sent my smaller tulip pots off to a friend 's for the time being , but I would like to solve this as I fear they will go for the koi in the pond next , if they haven 't already , and I have to be really careful about letting my fearless corgis outside after dark ( I keep them on a leash so they won 't go after them which could be really dangerous ) I welcome any thoughts or suggestions any of you may have . Last night Wynonna Judd was at Humboldt State and Mike and I went to hear her . Quite honestly , I had never listened to much of her music , and didn 't know that much about her . She was part of the Judds , the other part being her mother Naomi , another gorgeous redhead . Years ago I was seated in an airplane and a man sat next to me and started to chat . He very proudly said that he was with the Judds , to which I replied , who are the Judds ? He couldn 't believe that someone hadn 't heard of the Judds , but there I was . He told me they were the hottest thing in country music , and now that I have heard more of their music I can understand why . But back to Wynonna , the music was great ( too loud , but great - - - we were glad we had our custom earplugs with us ) , and she is , well , she 's a trip . She came out glorious in black velvet with sparkles everywhere . She was a vision , and frankly , it made me want to get some of that stuff and sparkle a bit myself , but it 's not really my style . She is a down - to - earth , right there kind of performer and was genuinely effusive as she expressed her gratitude for all of us turning out for the show . And she can really belt out a tune . I think the most moving moment was when she asked the audience to sing the refrain back to her , and they did . Many of those there knew the words and had obviously been singing along to her recordings so they sounded great - - it was like a chorus of angels singing the refrain - - - " Love can build a bridge between your heart and mine . Don 't you think it 's time ? " . She just closed her eyes and let it wash over her . So did I . It was a great evening and she was inspiring in many ways . Thanks , Wynonna ! cThis past weekend was full . In fact , I don 't think I have ever had such disparate activities back to back . I 'll work backwards . No , I 'll start with Friday which was Veterans Day when I attended theevent at the Municipal Hall in Eureka , which is presented by the Rotary Club of Southwest Eureka . Stu Russell organizes that each year , and it is always a moving tribute to our veterans . This year , Steve Colwell was the keynote speaker and he spoke about his experiences in Viet Nam , and the deep connection that veterans have with one another . He is now involved with several worthwhile organizations , and many there were especially moved and inspired by his work with Wounded Warriors . My hunch is that Humboldt County will be doing something with that organization and if you are interested , please contact me or Stu and we will put you in touch with Steve . They do great work . I am pleased to say that we had quite a few of our Honor Flight vets there as well and it was great to see that sea of WWII Veteran caps and royal blue shirts . It was a honor to have the opportunity to say a few words about North Coast Honor Flight . My car was already packed so as soon as that finished , I drove to Redding to show my work at the Diocesan Convention of the Episcopal Diocese of Northern California . I was showing work that was featured on the cover of Forward Day by Day this past year , as well as other contemplative work , and introducing new digital prints . As always , it was good to see folks from around the Diocese that I only see every year or so . When that wrapped up ( earlier than expected ) , I loaded up the car and headed to Dixon ( near Sacramento ) to show my work at the Corgi Faire . Now that was quite an experience . Imagine a very large room full of corgis . I never would have believed that corgis , who can be a little snarky , would get along so well together . It was a visual delight . Activities included races , where they tied little jockeys and cowboys on the backs of the dogs ( I am including a photo so you know I am not making this up ) Posted by This is Lisa , my neighbor and mentor at Del Valle a couple of weeks ago . Please note Simon , who spends a lot of time in her jacket , as shown . She makes and sells custom dog collars and leashes , and my two corgis are quite dashing in their new Celtic look . How can this be ? The past two months have been very busy with Honor Flight ( more on that later when I figure out how to post a slideshow ) , when our hub took 100 WWII vets to Washington DC to see their memorial . It was a great trip . We had 50 guardians - - - volunteers who each paid for the privilege of helping these American heroes . But , as I said , more on that later . I am going to do a little catch up here , working back in time . Yesterday was the Teacup Dog Agility Association ( TDAA ) Tournament in Grants Pass . The last event I attended was back in September , shortly before I fell out of sight on these pages . There was a heat wave at the time ( keep in mind that Grants Pass is not known for cool summer weather without a heat wave ) . It was over 100 degrees . We were in a horse barn that was fine for us and the dogs , but heaven for the millions of flies that were covering everything , including us and the dogs . The misters that were blowing cooling water into the barn were turning the sawdust / dirt into mud , so it all added up to a memorable experience . This time , the temperature was notable in that it never reached 50 degrees , and hovered around 40 . Same open barn , only this time it was rain that was turning the sawdust / dirt into mud . We were freezing . Now , please know that I am not complaining , just noting that one of the advantages to running agility is that it puts you in situations in which you normally wouldn 't find yourself after a certain age and there is something to be said for that . There is also something to be said for small dogs , as you can use them as little body warmers , as shown in these photos . Okay , some of them are just wrapped in quilts or cute little outfits , but the chihuahuas are often inside someone 's jacket with just their heads poking out . My corgis are not the kind of dogs that wear clothes or could fit inside my jacket so we just toughed it out . The cold had a less than positive effect on their performance however . They were invigorated , and inspired to design their own course so that they could Posted by Please check out the comment on the post from Mensona . This is the first one I have ever had that has a recipe , but considering that Lee ( the mystery poster ) and I have such a great food connection , it shouldn 't surprise me . He is a great cook and has so many tricks up his sleeve , so if we are really lucky , he 'll continue to share his wonderful recipes and food tips in this blog . Yesterday Midori Fulk , a Trinidad woman , and I visitied Ed Smith . Dori is sponsoring Ed on his Honor Flight , which is coming up October 4 . Her mother is Japanese , so Dori has very deep feelings regarding the Pacific theatre of WWII . Ed was on Wake Island and was a POW for four years . In Dori 's own words : " I was raised to remember to make a difference in people 's lives when I could , and when I first heard Kathrin Burleson mention the Honor Flight Program , I realized that this was a way I could make a difference to someone in a way that meant something personal to myself as well . This opportunity is so important to me for many reasons , generationally and culturally . I am very much looking forward to meeting " Ed " Smith . I want him to know that I think it is important to remember what he , and all military women and men , fought for and what he lived through , to thank and honor him for that . I have heard and understand some of his story , and I will not forget it . " We sat at the kitchen table and sipped tea , as Ed shared some of his stories with us . He also expressed his sincere gratitude to Dori . To see those two meet was one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever had . Both are fine , loving people , and great Americans . Here is the uncropped version - - - Lee Klein ( WWII vet whom you will recognize from prior shots of him on our deck ) , moi , and John and Jody Jarvis , longtime friends who have recently relocated to Sonoma County . It was such a treat to see them and have the encouragement during the rally trials . A dedicated cheering section works wonders . Well , it was a great weekend . For those of you who have never been to a major dog show , it 's really something that is worth seeking out . The Mensona Show features Conformation , Agility , and Obedience so there is lots going on . I was there wearing two hats - - - a vendor with my paintings , and an exhibitor with my two corgis . Both were entered in Rally Obedience , and this was Emma 's first trial . Raleigh is a seasoned competitor now , and got scores of 96 and 98 , earning him a second and third place , as well as a title . Emma , on the other hand , was a little overwhelmed by the experience and simply couldn 't bring herself to sit on command . Consequently , since most of the stations required a sit of some sort , and the judge grew a little tired of hearing me say , " Sit , Emma " as enthusiastically as I knew how , we were excused from the ring midway through . However , on the second day , Emma rallied ( no pun intended here ) , sat beautifully , and got an 85 . But , as most of you know , the real purpose for being there was to show my art , and it was great to meet and greet so many dog / art enthusiasts , especially the corgi lovers out there . I will be at the Corgi Fair sponsored by the Golden Gate Pembroke Welsh Corgi Fanciers Association in Dixon on November 13 ( more on that later ) . It was so good to see friends who live in the area , and I have some photos to post , but for some reason Blogger refuses to upload anything but images of the paintings that I showed . So there you have it . Lee , Jody , Jim , and Lovie - - - - thank you for coming by . I hope to get your pictures up once cyberspace cooperates . One of my favorite cookbook authors and food experts was Lee Bailey . His books are all about easy living , good food , and finding pleasure in simple things well done . Last year I had the good fortune to meet Lee Klein , a good friend of Lee Bailey 's on an Honor Flight trip . Lee , shown above with a photo of him in one of Lee 's books , was in the Navy for years , and of course is a WWII hero . He is also a great guy who is lots of fun and we enjoy sharing recipes and food tips . It was great to get him up here for a visit and we look forward to many more . Posted by We had a great time at the CPE Agility Trials in Eureka hosted by Humdog . Emma and Raleigh each ran in 12 runs each which makes for a pretty active weekend . Actually , while Emma did run each course , but as you can see from the video , it wasn 't always in the right direction . However , her enthusiasm and speed make up for her unpredictability . Raleigh on the other hand , was on his game . He qualified in 11 of 12 runs , and got 9 firsts . He is a solid competitor , and if I give him correct guidance , he shines . These videos were taken by 4 Legged Flix , really nice guys who do good work . While one crew was videoing our rather uneventful event on Saturday , the other crew was in Walnut Creek videoing a horse running through a dog agility course , which makes Emma running off course look very mild . As soon as that video is reposted on YouTube I 'll give you a link . Never did I imagine that I would be sipping absinthe on a sunny Pacific afternoon , let alone with good friends from France that we haven 't seen in over twenty years . But , here 's the photo to prove it . We are enjoying a visit from the Petri family , wonderful people that we met many years ago when they visited relatives in Eureka . We visited them in France and have kept in touch by Christmas cards all of these years . Through those annual photos , we have watched Candice grow up to be the lovely young woman that you see here , and it is a real treat to finally meet her . She will begin an internship in engineering in Austin next month , and we are so happy that they ventured up north before starting their tour of the Western states en route to Texas . Today we will go to the Humboldt County Fair - - - a slice of rural America - - where they plan to try their luck at the races . It 's great to be with them . Bienvenue Francois , Catherine et Candice . Nous attendons la prochaine visite ! Today I went for a check - up with my oral surgeon to see how the gum is healing after the work described in an earlier poem on this blog . The good news is that it is progressing nicely . The better news is that I have such a good team taking care of this rather complicated procedure . Shown here is Dr . William Martey , who in addition to being an oral surgeon , is also an M . D . He is originally from Ghana , educated at Oxford and a very nice guy . Also a great surgeon . His surgical assistant is Kim , also great at what she does . I think it is sometimes too easy to take the remarkable skills of people like this for granted . Not only are they well trained , but they are so kind and helpful . Thanks you two ! I 'll see you in November . It had been way too long since we shared a meal and conversation with our good friends Connie Butler and Janine Volkmar , so we invited them over for a spur of the moment dinner Sunday evening . These two women grace my life and I feel so blessed to travel down the road with them . It is also good to know that these pages have a bit of influence . After reading the post about my new camera , and seeing it in person on Sunday , Connie was so inspired that she went to Costco and got herself a Nikon Coolpix , which seems to be quite a trend these days . By the way , Connie is also a world class sculptor , so Connie , I know you will be reading this , please send an image the whale , or the mermaid or another piece so that I can post it here on the blog . Oh , she also spends time at Fire Arts and makes the most amazing ceramic pieces . Connie , please send an image of one of those as well . Pat Johnson is the owner of TNT Agility , and the central figure to much of what goes on in the dog world of Humboldt County . She is a terrific handler , wonderful teacher , and works tirelessly on behalf of dog training and education . I don 't know where she gets her energy , but I think she has met her match in her new puppy , Kai . When I was at Costco last week , I happened to be strolling through the camera section , and a little Nikon caught my eye . It is less than an inch thick , and seemed just the thing to carry in my purse at all times , since so many times I wish I had a camera on me , but my others are too big to have with me all of the time , so , I picked up this little maroon Coolpix thinking that it was quite an extravagant thing to have , and as the name implies , quite cool . Now it seems that just about everybody I mention it to already has a Nikon Coolpix . But it is a great little camera and small enough to be really handy . I had it today so that I could get these pictures of Alice and Gretta ( above ) , and Nora and Tucker . Alice is 81 years old and a very good handler . Her husband Bob was on our Honor Flight in May and they are really an impressive couple . She tried to call him after class but he was out riding his bike so she couldn 't reach him . He also swims every morning . I am not at liberty to share his age , but he 's a WWII vet , so do the math . Inspirational folks . Gretta is an awesome dog , too . Nora and Tucker are also great to watch in action . Tucker is such a classically beautiful dog - - - to me he 's the quintessential American dog , and for all I know he is descended from a German breed , but he 's like the dog next door . Tonight at agility class , I mentioned to Judy and Mel that they had been featured on my blog yesterday and I wanted to have a photo of them . Well , here it is . As you can see , Emma adores Judy , and so do the rest of us . Mel 's okay too . I hesitated to post about this , but Raleigh did pretty well at the trials - - - you can see his ribbons displayed in the tent behind me . By the end of the weekend , he had won six blue ribbons ( and a toy for each ) and one second place . Emma didn 't fare quite so well , but she did get one blue ribbon ( Raleigh came in second in that trial ) . This photo was taken by Mel Sample , one of our teachers at TNT Agility . He and his wife Judy are real naturals at the sport , as well as being patient instructors . It 's been such a gift to get to know the agility community - - - as I 've mentioned below , they are so down to earth and real . I can see why some people get on the circuit and go to a trial nearly every weekend . How can you beat running around with your dog and hanging out with great people ? It 's something that most of us thought we had to give up once we reached a certain age - - - and then we discovered agility . As I was setting up my canopy the afternoon before the trials started ( just before the Fun Run ) I heard a familiar voice out on the field . It was one of those times when something is familiar , but you know that there is also something different going on . " Quill , Quill ! Come ! " I thought wait a minute , that 's the voice from the DVD I have been watching and learning from for the past six months . And indeed it was Sandy Rogers , a well - known and respected dog trainer from the Bay Area , here in Humboldt County to compete with her dogs . I had a chance to get acquainted with Sandy over the weekend , and to tell her how much I have learned from watching her DVD demonstrations . It seemed only right that we have a photo taken in front of Raleigh 's blue ribbons ( the athlete himself is in his crate just below the frame of the photo ) , since much of Raleigh 's success is due to her long - distance training . Her DVD is called One Jump , Two Jump , and it is an inspired approach that uses only jumps to learn and practice basic , essential , agility skills . As you can see from her site , she is an accomplished competitor , and she and her partners have won many impressive titles . Plus , she is a very down to earth , friendly person . I couldn 't resist asking her if I was hearing the DVD correctly when she was demonstrating playing tug with Quill , her Jack Russell Terrier , and she confirmed that " girlie butt " is in fact one of her terms of endearment with Quill ( the only female dog in her family ) . I just love that . Happy energetic dogs , friendly people , great weather - - - this past weekend was the annual AKC Agility trials in Ferndale hosted by the Lost Coast Kennel Club . There were exhibitors ( not salesmen , but dog runners ) from all over the western United States , and a bit beyond , with their dogs , and their tents , and all of the paraphernalia that goes along with doing a trial . Within hours , a little community gets set up , and it becomes a world set apart from the things that usually occupy us . Really , it 's like summer camp for adults and their dogs , and the lucky kids who get to come along . We corgi people tend to get acquainted right away and it was a pleasure to meet Debbie and Nancy , two sisters from Modesto , California , shown above with their corgis , who , interestingly , are also sisters . Both of them are ranchers , and Nancy ( on the left ) also barrel races . This is not the kind of venue for sissies . These are impressive women . But I should have guessed that , since owning a corgi is not for the faint of heart . Last Saturday , ( how can a week go by so quickly ? ) five women spent the day at my studio ( and in the garden ) drawing . The weather cooperated so we spent most of the time outside , and it was so good to see how each of them really engaged the drawing process - - - the emphasis was on pure contours - - - and were able to sink into the experience of seeing and drawing . It 's always remarkable to see how art can be such an effortless catalyst for the formation and comfort of a group . It really does bypass the barriers we all construct for one reason or another . It was the first time most of us had met , and by the end of the day , we felt like old friends . I look forward to more afternoons drawing with this fine group . Oh , and we took time for a leisurely lunch on the deck . You know how some people look like their dogs ? Well , Marlene doesn 't really resemble her poodle , but they both have the most amazing hair ( in Tia 's case , fur ) and I just couldn 't resist posting this . Marlene is terrific at agility - - - note the great form that both of these fine athletes are exhibiting . By the way , I took a few shots today and learned that photographing dogs racing through a course is a lot harder than it looks . The blurred dog gives an idea of how fast she is moving . This has been a big week for the agility community here in Humboldt County . Nancy Gyes , a world class agility figure has been leading a workshop for about 30 agility enthusiasts of all levels . I first met Nancy a little over a year ago when I attended a half - day workshop in Oregon with Emma , who was just a little over seven months old . At that time I didn 't know much about her , but the folks here really encouraged me to attend . It was obvious from the start that she was not only a knowledgeable practitioner of the sport , she is also an excellent teacher - - - one of those rare individuals who is able to meet each student at his level , and give good constructive training and suggestions . Her emphasis on crate and circle games really took hold , and has made life much easier around here . " Emma , get to your crate ! " and zoom , there she goes . The photos are obviously of our gathering earlier today . Marlene very generously is hosting the event at her place , and with the canopies , tents , dog crates and canvas chairs it has the feel of a summer camp - - - a world apart from the concerns that tend to fill up our days . It is so great to be with a bunch of dog lovers , most of them women of a certain age , who are willing to do whatever is necessary to maximize a dog 's performance , which more often than not involves some pretty outrageous behavior ( get that toy you silly girl ! ) , and then get out there and run around on the field trying to perfect moves that can feel a little awkward at times . Yes , it is a great sport and some wonderful athletes participate , but it takes some doing to get there , and what we go through in the process is so , well , humanizing , that it just makes for a really good community . I was an auditor today , so got to just watch the runs , and be part of the group that stood on the sidelines cheering the good runs , and come to think of it , some of the not - so - good runs as well , because support is a big part of what this is all about . It 's been a great experience and I am encouraged by what I 've learned this week and loPosted by My dentist is Dr . Karen Beck , shown here with her assistant , Kendra , on the right . I feel very fortunate to have these women taking care of my dental needs ( I hesitated to add this , but it is a little odd to have a team of such capable professionals who look about twelve years old ) . After the extraction ( described on the previous post ) , there is a fairly lengthy healing process which requires a stay plate ( euphemism for false tooth ) and they have been so good about making sure that it is just right . I confess that I am nearly fanatical about dental health and hygiene so have been in a couple of times for fine tuning . Those of you who see me smile would never be able to guess which tooth isn 't mine ( and none of us are telling ) . Many thanks to these two ( and the rest of the office ) for all of their help !
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JavaScript is currently disabled . Obsidian Portal has a lot of really cool features that use JavaScript . You should check them out . We think you 'll have a much more enjoyable experience . From behind her she could hear the Pup snuffling at the mesh covering to her backpack . Ahead lay a road that would take them to the coast . And Laurelyn felt a healthy eagerness to see the sea again - and Morrow 's Hold . Softly she said to Thomis , " It 's good to be heading home again . " Daron 's mood was lightened considerably by the good traveling weather . Were she alone , she would have put Falcon through her paces for the sheer joy of it . Reluctantly , she made the mare keep in line with her traveling companions . " How are you doing , Rudolpho ? " she asked her passenger , surprised her voice was so calm . As the mare was not altogether fond of strange riders , she had expected a struggle between woman and horse to settle the matter . When Rudolpho climbed aboard , however , Falcon had accepted him as easily as her mistress . Which puzzled Daron to no end … Rudolpho was deep in thought . There were many memories to contend with . He still couldn 't understand why he had parted with the group stating " I have something I gotta do before we leave , " as his explanation . There would now be a few more meals and maybe some clothing for the needy of Helgastop , courtesy of Stan . He remembered what traveling used to be like . Climbing atop their great wagon he had named Roweena , master of all he surveyed as they passed through the countryside , and being with . . " Uhhh . . yeah . I 'm fine . How are you ? " He snapped to what was going on in the group as Daron called his name . The pace had been somewhat hypnotic . " Maybe I should go on ahead and do some looking around . I 'll ask Thomis . " He nimbly clambered off from behind Daron and jumped off the mount . " Excuse me , mister Thomis Sir , but do you think I should move on ahead and take a look ? " Keir loped alongside the horses , his bounding gait easily keeping pace . Whenever chance allowed he 'd move off the hard - packed road to the grassy border or field edge where the going was easier on his feet but never strayed far from Laurelyn 's side . Occasionally he 'd look up with trepidation , hoping he wouldn 't have to actually climb up behind her on what would obviously be a high and unstable platform . He glanced at Jacques upon his little horse and regretted his foolish pledge , if he was forced to ride the smaller mount would be preferable . His main concern however , was that they 'd forget he was there and he 'd be accidentally trampled underhoof and so let out a precautionary " Yip " whenever someone came near . Jacques tried to keep his eyes shaded as his little white pony plodded along after the others . The sun was a little too bright for his liking , though the clouds up ahead promised rain that he wasn 't entirely sure he would prefer . Wet or blind - it was hardly a choice . He glanced ahead to Laurelyn 's pack where the puppy was wiggling around in some incomprehensible game . Occassionally it would let out a muffled bark as it apparently discovered something worth barking about . Jacques envied the animal its dark , quiet , place . Thomis looked down at the boy , looked at Laurelyn , and looked back down to Rudolpho . The child certainly was eager to prove his usefulness to the group , but the last thing Thomis wanted to do was to allow Rudolpho to scamper ahead - for Thomis could not allow him to go alone . " The road is clear enough for us to see ahead , " the Oath - bound answered smoothly . " If you have a good set of ears on you , you might want to focus on whether you can hear anything to either side of us . " Laurleyn was careful to keep Beast from straying too close to Master Keir . The clear weather and congenial company was a combination that urged her to sing something cheery and rhythmic - to ease the rigors of long travel . And maybe to draw out the quiet Pierre . She had to remind herself that he could not help in that in his manner he reminded her of Justinian . She felt the Pup trying to right itself in the backpack - probably after getting himself upside - down . The frantic yips were rather muffled , and she could feel the rhythmic motion of the little one digging at the bottom of the back . Soon the yipping moved closer to her ear and she knew all that had been righted , and Laurelyn wondered why she was bothering being quiet . So she started singing of Spring morns and bright robins . " I 'll listen for things but , you really shouldn 't worry about me so much . I can really take care of myself . I know you 're thinking that I 'm just a kid but I can help a great deal . " Rudolpho moved back to where Falcon was and walked along side them . He reached down into a pocket and withdrew a coin . He began manipulating it , keeping his hands in motion and in practice . He made the coin walk along his knuckles , made it disappear then reappear in assorted places , and made it seemingly multiply . He made sure to put the extra coins back in Daron 's pocket when he was done . " No offense meant , " Thomis called back to the boy , scanning both the road ahead and the woodland on either side of them , " I have spent too many of my recent years guarding children . " Mostly from their own innate ability to find trouble ; Drywen and his brothers had proven quite a handful , and in many ways more bothersome than guarding Mesani I ' Se on her travels . " Every one of them was convinced he could take care of himself . " It was a pleasant day , and Laurelyn 's singing made it even more so , but he remained alert as they rode on . Daron hummed to herslf as she rode . She pretended not to notice when Rudolpho slipped coins into her pocket . Every now and then , she reached out to stroke Falcon 's black mane . Her eyes and ears were alert to any suspicious movements or sounds around her . " Pardon me for asking , Mistress Laurelyn , but when are we going to break for our next meal ? I mean , I think the horses , too , need to be grazed . From the sound of things , there 's a stream a little ways ahead . And I think … er … Fiend , " Daron said the name with difficulty , " could use some water and a bit of exercise . The decision is yours , of course , " she deferred respectfully . " Look , kid . I 've personally no doubt you can handle yourself against other street urchins , or clumsy shopkeepers , " he allowed . " But for now , it 's prob ' ly best if you do as the man says . Use your initiative when we 're not in danger of having our throats cut , eh ? " " I don 't believe there 's any need to be insulting , sir , " she respectfully stated . " Appearances can be deceiving . After all , you yourself could be a mighty warrior , brave with sword and bow . And not someone given more to drink than using the good sense the Maker gave a defenseless puppy … " Down by the stream , Brendan heard the sound of voices and froze . His shortsword was at his belt , sure enough , but he could never tell exactly what he was going to meet in these areas . Even if his friends had told him this would be a safe area of the woods , he knew that those voices ( though innocent sounding ) could be those of orcs , kobold , bugbears or the like . He shivered at the thought , and stood slowly as he waited - for there was nowhere for him to run . Thus did the travelling group chance upon a man in his twenties , brown of hair and dark eyed , a shadow of stubble occupying the lower half of his face . His clothing was cloth , but dirty from travelling , and a large sack lay beside him . His face still dripped with streamwater . He said nothing , waiting instead for the newcomers to make their greeting . Another chance encounter ? Thomis wondered to himself , allowing his horse to fall back just a bit so he could have a clear view of the area surrounding the party . Fortunately , his mount was trained well enough for him to loop the reins around the pommel of his saddle without fear of the animal wandering . One hand was prepared to pull his sword , the other to move towards his dagger . He did not focus his gaze at any particular spot , just stayed aware of the relative positions of the members of their party , and who presented the most vulnerable target . A gentle pressure of his knee moved his horse yet again , positioning it so Master Keir and Rudolpho were loosely surrounded by the others ' mounts . Finding his view of the stranger blocked by the horses , Keir squatted down and watched from between their legs . He certainly looked like a highwayman , or at least what he imagined a highwayman should look like . As a precaution he attached the stretchy band to the forked end of his staff and reached into his vest for one of his many fragile glass vials . From Laurelyn 's pack came a determined scrabbling , and muffled whining . A small furry brown head appeared from within as the pup somehow managed to slip his way to freedom . Then , like something akin to a rabbit , the pup leapt from the pack to land unsteadily on the trail . The Pup seemed to be in one piece so Laurelyn kept her attention on the newcomer . She wanted to warn the others not to go after the pup yet - thereby giving any attackers clear targets - but she also didn 't want to let it be known that they were prepared for any attacks . At least Laurelyn hoped they were ready . Rudolpho noticed that the " wagons " somehow circled him and everyone had tensed . I don 't think this person means us any harm . Guess I should go check . He checked an inside pocket for the particular component he would need if it came down to it , and ducked between the legs of one the horses . He strode toward the man with his hands out near his sides and then extended it when he got in range . " Hi there ! My name 's Rudolpho . These are my friends and we are headed down that road over there . What 's yours ? " Brendan shook hands with the stranger , making sure the shake was not too firm and not too vulnerable either . It was never a good idea to give away anything about yourself at first meeting . He smiled , and rolled up his pant legs and shucked his boots . " I 'll just fetch your hunting hound first , " he said , and waded into the stream after the little puppy . He scooped the pup in one hand and splashed back onto dry land , still smiling that half bearded smile . He looked at the puppy . Jacques muttered something unintelligible again . Was everybody suicidal ? First the stupid pup , and then the … stupid pup . He grinned a little at that thought . Pups of a different litter maybe , but pups nonetheless . " You were saying , miss ? " His bushy white eyebrows rose in a mock question . " Looks like your friend is none too bright . Still , they say only the good die young , so he must have something . " Pleasant looking enough fellow … Still , he _ could up and murder Rudolpho , you know ! FKeep your eyes open to see if he 's brought any friends with him …_ The Oath - bound had shaken his head slightly as the boy had deftly ducked under the horses and done his part to promote good will and understanding by greeting the stranger with a friendly introduction and a handshake . At least Jacques had moved closer ; he already had proven he could move quickly enough to protect the head - strong child if the strange man should decide to present a threat . Thomis fell back even more , and half - turned his horse at an angle to the others . Too many were focused on the man ahead of them . Brendan tapped his bare foot on the sand impatiently and glanced around , noting that Jepardi was making the most of his time off the horse . He dried his feet on an outcrop of grass and started to tug his boots on . The crows were loud in the trees , though out of sight . Perhaps they sensed danger near by . " Well , if you don 't want to tell me where you travel to , don 't let me hold you up . " he said , stomping his boot back on with finality . He stepped to one side and bowed , waving for them to pass . Rudolpho scratched his head . He didn 't remember the man giving his name , although they had shook hands . " I 'm sorry sir but I don 't recall you ever giving me your name . I 'm sure we would be happy to tell you where we 're bound , but not to a complete stranger . Thank you for retrieving the puppy by the way . It seems like he is always getting loose at the most inopportune times no matter how well he is looked after . " Are you headed anywhere yourself ? I notice you don 't have any companions , or do you ? " Rudolpho made a show of looking around , then continued . " It certainly isn 't very smart to travel alone , but maybe you feel more comfortable and can handle yourself just fine on your own . I 'm always telling people that I can take care of myself , but they don 't believe me . " He continued talking and asking questions as only a " child " could . - Maybe if I ask enough questions he 'll answer a few of them . Hopefully the others would take the cue and be ready for trouble if he wasn 't alone . " I see your putting your boots on . Does that mean you want to come with us ? " Keir cursed his luck , if he hadn 't had his hands full and the band wasn 't on his staff , he could have grabbed the wayward pup . In addition , with the horses constantly moving their legs he didn 't have a clear shot at the bandit . Taking a cue from Rudolpho he darted under the belly of beast and moved to the edge of the wood . He was farther from the stranger but his slingshot could easily cover the distance if need be . Foolish big folk , clumping together like hens . He didn 't know much about strategy but it seemed like they were making it simple for a gang of rogues to surround them . The longer they sat in one place , the more ridiculous the situation seemed to the Oath - bound . The reports of the highwaymen had not been all that bloody - so far , merely simple robberies and the travelers permitted to continue on their way . But their group was , by this point , so paranoid that the first fellow they encountered , no matter how polite he was ( and he had gone into the water after Fiend ) , found himself facing a number of hostile individuals ready to slice him apart if he made the slightest movement in the wrong direction . Perhaps this man was a thief . Perhaps he even was working with the bandits waylaying groups traveling this road . Or perhaps he was simply another traveller , or even a native , who had the misfortune to encounter himself and Laurelyn . Thomis did not allow himself to become any less alert as he moved forward . " My apologies for our jumpiness , " Thomis addressed the man , fighting the urge to place himself between Rudolpho and the stranger . The Pup yipped and yapped and wagged his tail in agreement , apparently not at all put out that his noon swim had been interrupted . " We have heard reports of bandits on this road . Have you encountered any trouble ? " Thomis still allowed for the possibility that this man himself was trouble , but until he showed any signs of it , he deserved the benefit of the doubt . Rudolpho allowed Thomis to take over the whole affair as he spied a stray hair on the man 's tunic . Using all the stealth he had mastered over his lifetime , Rudolpho kept his eyes on the man 's face as his hand slipped down and gently picked the hair off and held it . After a moment he began to play with the pup as much to keep it occupied as to redirect attention from himself . Having done that , Rudolpho decided to move down the road and have a look at what lay past the man they had just encountered . " My name is Brendan and I am traveling alone . However , " he looked at them ruefully , " it appears that we travel in the same direction . As to the presence of bandits ; I have seen none , or you 'd likely see bodies on the dirt . " He laughed , and patted the shortsword at his side . " My wife says I am a difficult man . " he said , as if completing a joke . He hoisted his sack onto his shoulder and started off down the road , whistling a lewd , but common bar song . The pup made his way back to stand by Beast and then sat unconcerned in the road , head to one side as though contemplating the situation . Jacques watched first Rudolpho and then this man Brendan start to continue along the road and sighed . The boy was nothing but trouble , and would likely end up face down with a knife in his back somewhere . She swung down from Beast and rummaged through her backpack to pull out a towel . " We just as well water our horses , " she told the others , " Though I still don 't think it would be wise to stay here to eat . " Having said this she bent to gather up the dripping Fiend . He looked back and noticed that Jacques had followed him . The rest of the party had decided to stop and rest . It shouldn 't be that hard for them to believe that I can be a good scout and take care of myself . He stopped and looked at Jacques . " Oh I 'm not tired . While everyone rests I can go take a look around . " Pocketing his glass - encased missle , Keir left the shade of the trees with a regretful sigh and set out to help Laurelyn recapture the dog - with - many names . Using his staff , he tried to herd the frisky animal back towards her . " Come on little beasty , you 're holding up my lunch . " The feel of water lapping over her feet , and the pebbles under her soles brought back a hundred memories of walking the beaches by Morrow 's Hold . Laurelyn stood - remembering how much she missed what in truth was her native element . She watched as the Pup tried to chase the silvery little fish that swam in the shallows - amidst a great deal of glittering spray from the Pup 's scampering .
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My desk warming log : I walk to school . A fools notion that I 'd get a kick start to my resolution to be more healthy for the year 2013 . My steps are slow and my breath is labored but the music buzzing into my ears keeps me going . I get to the top of the mountain and see my school , it 's bright red and white covering a sharp contrast to the winter blue sky in the background . My eyes seek out any sign of life - - none but a weathered old man devout to his own exercise regimen that neither snow nor rain nor heat nor darkness can keep him from accomplishing his appointed course with all speed . No cars . I 'm alone , it would seem . I stomp up the steps and notice a splash of color . Oh no ! ! ! A bird ( a kind of finch , I think ) has flown into the glass doors . Its helpless flutters and tweets sing a sad song to that fills soul with sorrow . I bend down to scoop up the scared creature in my gloved hands . I coo and speak softly as I gently check its little body for serious injury . I know to act quickly because its panic is strong . Cupping it close to the warmth of my body I tug my own glove off and lay it on the ground , a resting spot for the bird until it gets its bearings . I lay it lovingly on the glove as my heart beats quickly for the joy that maybe , just maybe , this little life could be saved . As I rise up to go into the office I hear another little tweet and then nothing . The stillness in the air and the absence of its little wings fluttering tell me that my actions had proved in vain . Its little life was over . Upon reflection I can 't help but see the correlation of his death to the death of this year . How fitting , and sad , that both shall end . However , I shall take heart in this little one 's life and death and continue forward into the near year . Happy New Years Eve ! ! May your 2013 be filled with Love , Joy , Peace , Kindness , Goodness , Faithfulness , and Gentleness . Posted by The other day I found out that one of my students has been the victim of bullying . Pissed me off to no end . She 's one of my best students who dances to the beat of her own drum . I remember when I first met her last year and she told me that she wanted to be a UN Interpreter or a Fashion model . She thinks she could both but the stress from both jobs would ultimately be too much so she has to choose between the two . She 's a bit awkward but in an endearing way . I 've always been envious of the people who seem to just KNOW who they are and don 't give a fig newton what other people think . To find out that she is being bullied because she dares to be different makes me see red . When I found out about it I wanted to hunt the girl down and demand names , class numbers , and home addresses . Sadly , there is a communication barrier so even if I did find the girls who messed with her I wouldn 't be able to say anything that they 'd understand . Thankfully the school is handling it . They are having a meeting today where the bullies are told to join so they can be punished ( not physically ) by the entire staff . Their parents have been invited as well . Apparently there had been death threats made and it scared her enough to tell her parents . Her entire middle school life so far has been filled with situations like this . I remember a time last year when her friends decided to make fun of her and call her nasty names . She came to me crying and it took everything in me not to want to step up and find the girls who made her cry . I get possessive and it saddens me that I felt the need to protect her from my students . I love all of my students dearly and I just wish that they would get along and just be friendly with each other . Kids are cruel though ( as are adults ) so I 'm not sure how this meeting will actually help my girl . In fact , it might hurt her in the long run . I just wish that uniqueness could be celebrated instead of damned . That intelligence could be awarded instead of criticized . I guess that 's asking for too damn much . Posted bUnknown This entire week I 've been lazy and haven 't done much . I 've gone to the Mask Dance and partied all night and met some pretty cool people . Since this is my third one the excitement isn 't as high . I haven 't taken any pictures and might not . Really , it 's just like last year and the year before . This time , however , I " m on the commercial for the Mask Dance ! ! Too bad I can 't find it online or else I 'd show you . My friend Sara and I were taken from the crowd and asked to learn one of the traditional dances . They were video taping it and it was a lot of fun . : D I feel like a movie star ! ! The beautiful part about Chuseok for a foreigner are the days off . I only have to go to school on Thursday and then I 'm done for the week . On Friday I get to go on a picnic to a Herb Garden with my 1st graders . I 'm hoping for wonderful weather : D Every picnic for the past two years has been rainy and quite depressing . Posted by This week I 'm having my first year students act out skits about sickness and injuries . I 've had a few wonderful deomonstrations but today was the best so far . A group of girls dressed up using paper props and reinacted a car accident . One girl promptly began acting like she 'd broken her neck and was demanding money from the other driver . The other driver refused so they had to call the police . The police woman took the " Injured " girl to the hospital where the doctor said she was " just fine . " Another group of girls had lots of props . One girl came in complaining of having an injury - - she 'd broken her arm . She even went so far as to shout when the other girl thought to take her by the hand and lead her towards the " doctor " . They had drawn pictures of X - rays and even pretended to give her a shot . Amazing . Just when I thought it was over the patient 's mother came in dressed in flowery print clothes , fake ( paper lips ) , and crying " MY BABY ! ! " When the mom found out her daughter was going to be OK she took out her mirror and started putting on her Chanel lipstick . Hilarious ! One group had their patient die . . . When my students use make up , mirrors , mp3 , or their cell phone in class I take it away and won 't give it back until I get an apology from them . Usually they write it themselves or have a friend help them with it . Today I got one that was totally google tranlated . Amanda sir ? I class at the time by touching the mirror Teacher cours , I 'll clear that for the first time that depriving Touching momentarily forgot to boldly really worry . Am on the mirror Amanda in fhte future to avoid such a thing to keep in mind the teacher who taught me how to forget the rules and they 'll remember . To avoid his to happen again I 'll ask once . Back mirror we not ? 사과문 = Apology So I 've been wondering what I should be writing about in this blog . Everyone has a unique experience in Korea but the gereral theme is the same . Rather boring for someone who has lived her for two years already . So , instead I 'm going to take a leaf from Bill Cosby 's book and talk about some of the things my kids say or do . Two instances readily come to mind and here they are : My school has two buildings . The 3rd grade is in one building and the 1st and 2nd grade are in the other building . As I was walking to class I spotted some grade three students quickly opening all of the windows in the grade 2 hallway . They were laughing quietly and acting quite suspicious . I walked over to the group and asked what they were doing . After a long debate in broken English and Phone Dictiontionaries this is how it ultimately went . Me : What are you doing ? Student : Opening the windows . Mosquitoes outside . Me : Having Mosquitoes outside is good , right ? Student : No , Mosquitoes inside . Bite 2nd year students . Me : . . . . . ( This is my time to think about what I just heard . There had to be a mistake ) . Seeing that I was rather confused one student bravely said : " Biological Warfare . " Brilliant . Another time we were playing a BOMB game in class . A bomb game is a review game on the computer using power point . In this game randomly a " Bomb " would explode and the team would lose their points . Sometimes the teams would be forced to trade points and other times they would have to give some of their points away . Group 3 had to give all of their points to Group 1 . When it was Group 1 's turn they had the question " What do you THINK of this game . " The usual response would include " I think this game is . . . . " or " I feel this game is . . . . " or " In my opinion this game is . . . . " Of course , every once in a while you get a wise response and this class did not disappoint . After a very short time one student looked at group 3 and said , " I think this game . . . is like life . " Her smile was a little triumphant so I think she liked that she was on the winning side of life at thePosted by My boyfriend of 8 months and I haven 't had the best run of things . We come from different cultures and many times miscommunication leads to hurt feelings and cold nights alone . I 've personally tried my best to make sure that things run smoothly . I 've been cleaning house , making dinner , greeting him how he likes to be greeted when he comes home from work . I know I 'm moody and as my way of saying " Thanks for being so patient " I try to make his life easier by easing some of the stress of coming home to a messy apt can bring . I 've even started to cook some of his favorite foods . It has been a trial for me but I push through it . I 'm not perfect . I 'm really moody some times and lately I haven 't been very happy . I 'm tired all the time and can 't hold two thought together . I went to the doctor to have some blood tests done and everything came out normal . I can only assume that I 'm depressed again . I know if I can just get outside and exercising again I 'll feel better . I just don 't have the ENERGY for it . I 'm in a bad place . Previous arguments that we 've had were about his insensitivity concerning my weight . I 'm a big girl . I 'm very sensitive about my weight . He has his own insecurities that I try VERY hard not to mention in public or to him . That includes changing my acutal language and slang . It has been difficult but out of respect for him I 've made this sacrifice . In the long run what are a few missing words when it comes to love ? From previous relationships I 've found that I 'm the one that clings and tries to hold on to something that isn 't there . This guy is different . It has only been a couple of weeks that I feel like he 's changed his attitude towards me . I know it is because of my weight . I know it . This morning he proved it . It is my fault for being so sensitive but I can 't cry over it anymore . He made a tasteless joke about the suspension of his car on my side being different than his . . . because of the weight . My side is lower than his . I want to end this . I 'm so tired . I 'm not happy with myself so how can I be expected to love and be happy with someone else ? After an argument the other day I asked him to prove to me that he loved me . He has apologized for what he said but today . . . today was just hurtful . I had asked him to prove to me that he loved me and instead he bared my insecurity and laughed at it . I want to end this . . . but I love him . Now I have to ask myself this : Would I rather be lonely than unhappy ? What do you do when you reach that point in your life to do you realize that you deserve better ? What if these feelings you have developed are towards a friendship that has been strong for the past 10 years ? Holy crap ; ten years is shooting low . How about 16 years ? Or a friendship that was going strong but now is starting to fade . The time was short and the pain is more superficial than anything but the pain is still intense . Or maybe I 'm just a jealous person in need of attention when I 'm feeling down . My boyfriend wants to fix everything so he tells me he doesn 't like my friend . Well , that doesn 't help and I tell him that . So he changes tactics and says " talk to her . " " Talk to her . " Sounds easy but it will be so difficult . When it comes to verbal exchanges with friends I tend to back down and just say " My fault , I misunderstood . I was stupid for thinking that . I 'm sorry . " I never hold my ground and then we slip back to what we were . My friend going through her life with little cares , with a huge group of people willing to listen to her and help her through all of life 's difficulties while the accuser is left to be there when she thinks about her . I gave up being the friend in High School that craved her attention and in fact I even became a little bitter towards her because of it . I forgave her and moved on when I realized I could have my own happy life without her influence on it . However , now we 're back in the same city and it feels like High School all over again . But this time I 'm not the wall flower but the butterfly going out and meeting people every weekend . I used to invite her but messages and phone calls were left unanswered . She told me she doesn 't like going to that side of town . So I stopped inviting her . God it feels like High School again . Except now I know I deserve better . Can two old friends continue a relationship where one was the dominant and the other the submissive in the past but now they can be on equal ground ? Can I handle any hurt feelings ? Who will cry fUnknown This is my first video project EVER that actually needs to be finished . I can 't wait to see the finished project . Today I stayed after school for a couple of hours . . . I must have really looked DILIGENT ! ! As soon as it is finished I 'll try to see if I can upload it here : ) Wouldn 't that be neat ? Anyways , life in Andong has been pretty exciting lately . We have a HomePlus ! ! For those of you who have no idea what that it is . . . picture a Walmart . A Three Story Super Walmart . Heaven . I 'll still buy my veggies and fruits at the market to save money and stress but I can 't help but fall in love with the idea of having a huge super mart within walking distance . I don 't have a lot to show right now . . . I 'm sorry . I do want to show some before and after pictures of our down town . Right now it 's ripped to shreds ! As a part of the deal to allow HomePlus to open up shop in our city they had to promise to beautify the down town area . I 'm so freaking excited . Waterfalls , a place to eat food outside , and just plain ol ' beauty . I just hope no one drowns or messes up the pretty water . I finally went to Hahoe village . I went with some amazing people who always tend to get me out of the house and out into the real world to get some culture in me : ) The Scenery was amazing . . . . so I 'll let my pictures do the talking : ) What do you see in this picture ? Hahaha . Now that 's what I call Culture ! ! Finally I have the video that I made . I got some positive feedback and some negative . . . so the next one will be better < 3 If it doesn 't work I have the video uploaded on youtube : ) Please leave a comment if you liked it or not : ) Thanks a lot ! ! I 've tried updating this thing six times . SIX TIMES . So now all I 'm going to do is give bullet points : 1 . I went to Hahoe Village Yes , it has been a year later . My bad . I promise to try to update you more often . Lately I 've had a lot more to say about what is going on around me . Stories are just as funny and I think that sometimes a lot of people could use a laugh . Teaching at Andong Girls ' Middle School is full of that for sure ! ! My first years are darlings but so were my 2nd years last year . What the heck happened ? Oh yeah . Puberty . The struggle to be popular . Make up . Boys . Damnit . I can 't compete . Or can I ? This year I 'm on fire . I 've revamped my lessons . Kicked out the ones that didn 't work and replaced them with new and improved ones . My current lesson plan is all about loving oneself and showing compassion to others . Why would I construct this lesson ? What purpose do I have in making these girls love themselves and others ? If you really need to ask that question then you need to seek help . You won 't find it here . Girls at this age are so impressionable about their self worth . In Korea it is 100 times worse . In the past two months two girls have killed themselves . One because of bullying and the other because of the pressure her parents ( and teachers ) put on her to be the PERFECT student . Both of them broke . They felt they didn 't fit in and never would . It breaks my heart thinking that this is a SOLUTION to a problem . It isn 't . A friend of mine once said , " More people will die of suicide in Korea than they will of car accidents " If you 've seen these people drive you would be as shocked as I was . So , I 'm going to make a difference . I want my girls to feel loved , beautiful , special , and awesome . I want them to take those feelings of self worth and respect and shower the world with it . Bullying is NOT an option in my class . Mirrors are banned . Brushes and make up are banned . We are female and we are beautiful Just the Way We Are . Side note : Make up , mirrors , brushes , etc . are not evil or in anyway horrible inventions . I just don 't want them in my classroom . They are a distraction and take away from class time . Not to mention the implicatPosted by
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Have you ever watched any of the REAL HOUSEWIVES shows on Bravo ? Yeah those women have 10 inch nails and silicon chest armor . They can kick your ass . That is why no one challenged them , they were afraid of the fake cheerleader and her boy wonderless . 10 : 10 a . m . A white sedan drove down Highway 93 with a deer head sticking out the back . Authorities found that it had been killed legally before being crammed in the trunk . 11 : 31 a . m . Someone broke into a Shady Lane home and stole all of the reporting party 's medication . Um , I had a little cough , and you had the good stuff . Someone wasn 't very happy in Happy Valley . 9 : 31 p . m . Friends of a man in Kila were alarmed to see numerous injuries on his person . The man was not suicidal but had in fact been participating in UFC fighting . Did he look like Edward Norton or Brad Pitt ? 8 : 47 p . m . An alleged case of domestic violence turned out to be two drunken buddies trying to emulate UFC fighting in their living room . The supposed " victim " also had injuries from a previous bike accident . One party was taken to jail for probation violation . Was he on probation for fighting ? 8 : 03 p . m . A car that was stolen two days ago was found abandoned on Braig Road . The vehicle had been driven through a ditch and parked on top of a fence . 10 : 36 p . m . A middle - aged man in shorts and socks showed up at a home in Bigfork claiming that he was " the one who helps girls . " He soon realized that he was at the wrong house . 3 : 40 a . m . A woman in Lakeside called to report that a prowler had been outside her house for about an hour . Authorities couldn 't find any footprints but did notice that tree branches had blown onto the deck . Captain James E . Hamilton , Intelligence : Shotgun , extreme close range , double - O . Starkey was hit four times , first two cut him in half . Sgt . Joe Friday : The second two turned him into a crowd . Thursday was Trooper Bob 's birthday . He always gets to enjoy his birthday around Thanksgiving , which means he not only gets to feast on turkey and dressing but gets his cake and eats it too . Truth is he does that anyway . Yes you guessed it CAKE WRECKS . You know how when you are a kid it is always about your birthday but you forget that your parents have birthdays too ? Yeah I used to do that too . Then as I got older I realized that my parents had birthdays . I would try and think of something my dad would like for his birthday and purchase something accordingly . Like when I was nine years old and I was convinced my dad would love a tie with a duck on it . Not just any duck , a mallard . Now why I thought my dad would love a duck tie is beyond me other than I could get it at TG & Y for the exact amount of money in my piggy bank . My dad didn 't wear ties except to work as a trooper and then he wore the grey tie that was issued with his grey uniform . I think another birthday I bought him a bunch of pipe cleaners which was actually a better gift because he was a pipe smoker . I really shouldn 't feel bad because when I was about seven he gave me a shower cap for my birthday . Yes a shower cap . Now granted it was pinky and frilly but a shower cap ? For a seven year old ? Poor Trooper Bob , he could have saved himself the trouble and brought me home an Archie Comic or an Ann of Avonlea . This isn 't about me ; ok really it is but let 's pretend we are talking about Trooper Bob . So Trooper Bob was born right around Thanksgiving which until 1941 was on the last Thursday of the month . Good old Franklin Roosevelt decided with the help of Macy 's to move it to the 4th Thursday of the month . Confused ? So was the whole ding dong state of Texas and in 1941 they decided to take both the 4th and the last Thursday off . It was deemed Franksgiving , which takes us back to Trooper Bob who is celebrating Bobsgiving . When Trooper Bob was a little boy he would get to celebrate Bobsgiving with the whole family . His mother , my grandmother , would cook for days . His grandmother would cook for days and all the Aunts and Uncles , cousins and their dogs would all gather and give thanks . Now we all know they were giving thanks for Trooper Bob coming into their family . Who wouldn 't love this cute litSo here I am some 70 - something years later once again being thankful for Trooper Bob coming into this world . I mean think about it . If Trooper Bob had never been born then I wouldn 't be here . What a different world that would be without Trooper Bob and well of course Gladys . So join me in celebrating Bobsgiving . I am going to tell a tale on myself . I was all excited and prepared . I set my phone alarm for EARLY and I popped up as soon as it sounded . I was going to be FIRST . I knew I was going to be first because it was EARLY . I dialed the number and waited for him to answer . " Hi baby ! " came Trooper Bob 's voice . Yes he has caller I . D . and he knows how to use it . I cleared my throat and sang in my best soprano Happy Birthday . It got quiet on the other end of the line and then he burst out laughing . " You 're a day late sweetie . " WHAT ? A day late huh ? " No I 'm not " I replied insistently . " My birthday was yesterday " came the reply . " No " I replied slowing my speech making sure he understood . " Today is the 26th " I stated . On the other end of the air waves came a snort then " nope today is the 27th . You 're a day late " he chuckled . " and I dollar short " I finished . So I guess I will have to double check my date next year so I can be FIRST ! In the spirit of Thanksgiving I am not going to talk about undercooked turkey or how to eat a whole pecan pie by yourself . Remember my story last year ? No ? Well go here and read it . A Pilgrams Feast My story today is about the unfeast feast . You see I believe holidays put way too much pressure on families to spend time with one another . What if your family doesn 't like you ? What if you don 't care for your father - in - law or your sister - in - law is rude ? I ask you should you have to spend a holiday , a day of thanks with people who are less than thankful ? Isn 't it about being with people you love and who love you ? Isn 't it about being thankful for your blessings ? Yes , that is what I believe . Gladys had been preparing or helping prepare traditional Thanksgiving dinners since she was old enough to walk . She would be given the task of cutting up the fruit for the fruit salad or cooking the corn bread and shredding the stale bread for stuffing . She would stand on a stool and chop up the onions or pecans . She did which ever job she was given and she loved it . She enjoyed preparing a special feast for a special day . Gladys , Matilda and Nurse Meme would often prepare days in advance so that they could eat dinner before Nurse Meme 's shift . It was always quite the spread with turkey and dressing , gravy , sweet potato casserole , broccoli casserole , asparagus casserole , mashed potatoes , green salad , fruit salad and of course pies . There would be Nanny 's chocolate pie for Buck , minced meat for Trooper Bob , pumpkin for Gladys and pecan for Matilda . It was more food than a family of five could eat in a month but somehow they managed . That is how Gladys was brought up and how she was trained . When she was grown with a family of her own she believed that in order to enjoy Thanksgiving she must cook like a crazy woman for a week before the big day , then she should run around town getting all kinds of special gourds and candles to make the table just so . She should find sparkling cider for the wine glasses and bring out the best china on which to serve her special feast . She did this year after year for her little family . She cooked and baked and broiled and glazed . She shopped and fought for just the perfect bird . She vSo remember to kiss the cook , be thankful for the roof over your head and the extra effort people take to be nice to one another on this day . Remember to find something good in everyone and if you can 't then stay home and eat peanut butter and banana sandwiches . 7 : 43 a . m . A music player , a purse and an adult tricycle were taken from a vehicle in Columbia Falls . Sounds like Tyrone was there . Oh come on remember Tyrone on Laugh - In ? Yes Him ! 11 : 09 a . m . A female party is allegedly stalking a man on Walker Creek Lane . She has sent him 619 emails within the past two years . Honey , give it up . He is just not that into you . 2 : 51 p . m . A resident of Martin Camp Road reports a cat problem in the area . The exact nature of the complaint is unknown . What does this mean ? What kind of cat problem ? Is it a cat gang ? Are they being cat delinquints ? 12 : 49 a . m . A Whitefish woman called to report that her husband was missing . Authorities found that he was not missing , but that she was actually extremely drunk . 12 : 21 p . m . A frustrated customer at a local bank insinuated that he would harm himself upon leaving . Authorities found that he had no real intention of doing so . 12 : 25 p . m . A miniature horse was seen tied to a lawn mower on McMannamy Draw . Apart from its unusual tether , the horse was completely fine . 5 : 09 p . m . An employee at a local casino called to report that she had a " gut feeling " about five male subjects at the business . The men left before authorities arrived . 8 : 21 p . m . A highly intoxicated woman called from a location on Highway 93 South to report that she was in the midst of a disturbance with a very drunk man . The woman , claiming that she " just wants a life , " was taken to jail after using a baseball bat for violent means . She was confused she Wanted a Life ; not she wanted Life In Prison ! 3 : 07 a . m . In Coram , a vehicle collided with an elk . Although the driver was fine , the elk was taken to the food bank . FRIDAY : " Paul , I can 't speak for the Department but I 'll say this : We want help ; we welcome help ; we 're getting help , from legitimate groups and responsible citizens . Now that doesn 't include people who yell ' Spy ! ' every time they hear an accent ; or who look under the bed at night for a seditionist ; it doesn 't include racists - - white or black - - and it lets out people who think legitimate protest is unconstitutional or that change is treason . It excludes nuts on either fringe , Paul - - the guy who sees an anarchist in every kid with long hair . It excludes the Fielder Militia . Patriotism ? That militia of yours has got a corner on the market ! Civil rights ? They got ' em all ! Protesters ? Shoot ' em all down ! That may be your philosophy , Paul , but it 's not mine , and I don 't think it 's the Department 's either . We work it a little different in this country . " Gladys had been lonely for so long . Her arms felt empty and her heart hurt . Her companion of 12 years had left her to live with someone else . She was heart broken but really she only had herself to blame . She had become a work - a - holic . She didn 't have enough time for him . He was often left home alone , it was only natural another woman would take him away from her . Then one day the news came . She couldn 't believe her ears . She learned of his sudden and horrible death . She was inconsolable . She was ravaged by guilt and the empty pit of loss . She mourned for him . She grieved him . She would often dream of him . She could feel his breath on her face . She would smell his musky scent and turn expecting to see him coming in the door . He wasn 't there and he wasn 't coming back . She knew she must move on . She must live her life without him . Time went on and Gladys did move on . She saw others but none of them compared . She had even contemplated having one of them move in with her but it just didn 't feel right . She spent hours on the internet searching for just the right one . She would think one would be right only to find out they had misconstrued the truth , they were older or not at all what they had stated . She had all but given up and then she saw him . She had never seen him before but something in her stirred . Her heart beat fast and her breath came a little quicker . She moved toward him . He was sitting with his buddies when he looked up and saw her . He too stood . They saw each other and it was if a curtain had been lifted . The next thing Gladys knew she was holding him in her arms . She was breathless . She was enraptured with his face , the feel of his hair . He nuzzled his nose into her neck . She could barely get the words out of her mouth as she breathed into his ear " I love you . " He turned his face to hers and his dark brown eyes said it all . He didn 't have to say it ; she could just tell the feeling was mutual . Gladys heard Kahuna 's voice from behind her say " we are taking him home with us aren 't we ? " Kahuna knew it was love at first sight and he was helpless to stop it . Now I want you all to meet Bozley my new love . Bozley was rescued from the animal shelter the day he was to be euthanized . I apologize for the quality of the picture and will get some better ones as soon as he gets aclimated . He is an apricot toy poodle . He is at this minute curled up next to our Lab and Boxer sleeping with a full belly and his very own blankie . I know I know it is Saturday and I 'm late for Mrs . 4444 's Friday Fragments . I got distracted getting my hair did by the Hair Whisperer , Lola of the Cabana . Go on go over read her fragments , Mrs . 4 's not Lola and link yours and have a big old fragmented party . Then I want you to go on over to Ann Again and Again for your weekly Virtual Girls Night Out . Have a drink , even if it 's just water , read some stories and partake in her game . Also link your Friday to her Friday . I went to several pet adoption events last week . I wanted to take each and everyone of those little doggies home with me . Do you think they would call me the crazy dog lady who lives at the end of the lane ? I had to go to the Squal * marts this week . Yes it is always an adventure arriving on the planet Squal * Mart . It has even become one of the hottest blogs out there The People of Wal * Mart . While I saw my share of interesting species I have to admit that next time I taking my camera with me on my Squal * Mart safari . + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + I was at Ross Dress for Less , or as I call it Cheap Stuff Scattered Everywhere Store , looking for a suitcase for Lulu to carry around Europe . Yeah she 's going to Europe for Christmas . Yes I 'm pea green with jell - ass - ee . Anyway I had finally made my way to the front of the line when an older woman cut in front of me with her cart . She turned and said " Cut - sies . " Now I had waited in this ding dang line for 35 minutes and this chick was trying to cut ? I pulled myself up to my full 5 ' 1 " ninety - eight pound self and said " over my dead body ! " She winked and laughed and said " just trying to insight a riot . " Then she pushed her cart over to the giant pile of bath salts . Thank God because I thought I was going to have to kick her ass right then and there . Otin hosts his Happy Hour Friday over at the Wizard of Otin . Hopefully I 'm not too late for that too . Honestly I 'm never late , not like Matilda who will be late for her own funeral . Hey wait maybe that is the one time it 's not a bad thing . Here are a few things that make me happy . And the last thing I don 't have a picture of but it 's you guys . It 's getting comments and e - mails from people I have never met . Thank you so much for reading my random and often rambling thoughts and stories . I luv ya man ! It is Thursday which means it is Meatloaf day . No that 's not it . Thursday is turkey casserole . Nope that isn 't it either . Is it Taco Thursday ? Is it Thirsty Thursday ? Nope , it is once again time for Themed Thursday . This Thursday the theme is Late . Hmm , there are so many ways I could take this . I mean LATE ! What does that bring to mind for you ? Well hold on because I will take you on a ride through my mind and I won 't make you late . Then go on over to Theme Thursday and read what other 's have linked . There she sat on the side of the sink . A mascara wand in one hand and a safety pin in the other . " Come on Matilda ! We are going to be late . You know what happens when we are late " Gladys whined . Matilda separated one spidery eyelash from another and applied yet another coat of mascara to her lashes . " Shut up Gladys . I will be ready when I 'm ready . Go tell Buck that I 'm almost done . " Gladys rolled her eyes put her hands on her hips and said " he ain 't gonna be happy " then turned and stomped out of the bathroom . Matilda continued her precise partitioning knowing her little sister would do her bidding . Buck sat in his Opal G . T . , Baby , listening to Blood Sweat and Tears for the sixth time in a row . He would hit re - wind on his tape deck and sing along " ride a painted pony let the spinning wheel turn " . He looked up when the passenger door opened . " Where is she ? If she 's not in this car by the time this song is over I 'm leaving without her ! Do you want me to leave you too ? Go tell her I 'm not going to be late again . " Gladys rolled her eyes and marched back into the house to tell her older sister that she had better hurry . This routine made Gladys tired . She was only eleven and this going back and forth between her older siblings made her weary to the bone . Why did it have to be so difficult to go any where ? Life should be easy . She had an older brother with a cool car and a driver 's license how bad could it be ? Oh wait , she had an older sister who had never been on time for anything . The only time she was ever early was when she was born a month premature . Why must she take so much time getting dressed ? How hard can it be ? You smear some blue stuff on your eyelids , slap some black stuff on your eyelashes , roll some white stuff on your lips and you 're done . Not Matilda , she spent hours separating each eyelash . Then she had to make sure she put blue stuff on her eyelids , then line her eyes with black stuff , then put white stuff under her eyes then pink stuff on her cheeks . It was all too much for little Gladys who brushed her teeth and hair only when reminded . She marched into the bathroom where Matilda was still parting yet another clump of lashes and said " he said if you aren 't out there in one minute he is leaving without you . " Matilda lowered her mascara wand and narrowed her eyes in a menacing way " you tell him if he leaves me he is going to be in BIG trouble . I am almost done . All I have to do is finish curling my hair . " The sound that came from Gladys could only be described as the same sound a wounded moose would make . She drug her feet out to the car , opened the door and whined Shortly after this picture was taken the fight was on . > 5 : 20 p . m . Someone on Tamarack Lane in Columbia Falls reports that a bear has been eating the meat out of their outdoor freezer . Now Yogi that 's taking it a bit far , I mean stealing my turkey out of my freezer . 7 : 11 p . m . A man in dark clothing and carrying a dark - colored bag wandered down the middle of Highway 93 . 4 : 14 p . m . A resident of Martin City reports that someone was running around their house and hiding in the bushes . The subject was described as wearing a puffy dress with long johns and pants underneath . 9 : 19 p . m . A drunk man went to the bathroom in the bushes outside an Evergreen fast food restaurant . Authorities responded but could not find the leaky man . 8 : 02 p . m . Two woman and a man attempted to steal thousands of dollars worth of items from an Evergreen box store . All three of them went directly to jail . 10 : 01 a . m . Three goats are in the habit of wandering onto a neighbor 's property on Helena Flats Road . Hum , maybe it was the Three Billy Goats Gruff or perhaps Nanny Goats In Panties and her friends . 4 : 06 p . m . A man was seen sitting in his vehicle near a local convenience store with a hatchet on his lap . When asked what he was doing , he claimed he was just " killing time . " 8 : 41 a . m . A garage door on Valley Drive has been mysteriously opening when the homeowner isn 't around . Recently , part of a deer carcass went missing from the open garage . Um , yeah , dudes , your like in church and stuff , shouldn 't you be acting Christian like ? 8 : 52 p . m . Hazardous chemicals were splattered all over the photography dark room at the local college . The building was evacuated and the chemicals contained . 10 : 25 p . m . A woman called , saying that she was lost in a field and didn 't know how she got there . She could not identify her location , but indicated that there was a fence nearby . The woman 's husband later located her and escorted her home . 2 : 23 p . m . A man was separated from his mother - in - law while hunting on Blankenship Road . The woman turned up while a deputy was speaking with the man . 6 : 12 p . m . Someone on Many Lakes Drive reports that their 4 - year - old has been seeing a man at his bedroom window at night . This claim is substantiated by footprints found in the dirt beneath the child 's window . Authorities will be following up . 8 : 00 p . m . A resident of Middle Road in Columbia Falls heard something hit his house . Though no damage was done , the reporting party suspects an act of criminal mischief . " It 's awkward having a policeman around the house . Friends drop in , a man with a badge answers the door , the temperature drops 20 degrees . Now be careful out there . . . you never know where Bigfoot may be lurking . You know the woman in your neighborhood who knows everything going on ? You know the relative who has all the recent gossip ? You know the church member who knows who was at the bar the night before ? That would be me , Gladys .
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