text
stringlengths 114
320k
|
|---|
Lewis Hamilton and Vettel battle on Lap 1 , resulting in a tire puncture for VettelWebber never gave up the lead after the two Red Bull drivers battled into the first corner . Webber made a much better start than his teammate and reached Copse first . Vettel picked up a puncture courtesy of Lewis Hamilton , and made a run from the back of the field to place seventh at the finish . " Probably he achieved this time what he [ Hamilton ] didn 't achieve in Valencia . Surely it wasn 't his intention to give me a puncture , if it was like that [ contact with Hamilton ] , but with a puncture early on in the race it 's a big minus . " I had to come back slowly to the pits . Then I was on the same set of tires for the rest of the race . Fortunately the safety car came out so I had a bit of entertaining the last couple of laps . " There was more post - race controversy after a contentious penalty for Fernando Alonso left the Ferrari outside the points . Felipe Massa did some wheel banging with Ferrari teammate Alonso at Becketts that left the Brazilian with a puncture , so it was yet another bad day for Ferrari . Lewis Hamilton ( 2nd ) : " It 's been a phenomenal weekend - and this result is a near - perfect way to finish it . I 'm so happy : considering how far behind we were in practice , we really didn 't expect to be this far up today . I 'm very proud of the team and the effort they put in , as always . At the start , I was able to jump Fernando [ Alonso ] and take a step forward . After that I chased Mark [ Webber ] for the whole race , but the Red Bull was about four or five tenths a lap faster than our car , so it was very difficult to stay close to him . Still , the most important thing is that we scored a lot of world championship points once again , so this is another great race result for us . It 's been the biggest turnout I 've ever seen here . And the support from all the fans has been incredible , I couldn 't ask for more . You can 't hear them cheering their support in the car , but you can feel it ; and I carry every single one of them with me in the car . They give me a huge boost of confidence on every lap . We 've got two weeks to work on our upgrades before the next grand prix . I won the last race at Hockenheim , in 2008 , and if we can get the new floor there , we should be looking pretty strong . We 've just got to keep pushing : this world championship is still all to play for . " Jenson Button ( 4th ) : " That was a great race , and I 'm so happy to have made up 10 places . But it 's hard to overtake around here , so I knew I had to make up a lot of places off the start - line . In the event I made up six places , but I then had to push really hard on the Option tire in the first stint . That strategy worked for us and I came out behind Fernando , who had a drive - through , so I picked up fourth . It 's a pity I couldn 't have overtaken Nico [ Rosberg ] , but this is still a fantastic result for me . It 's a pity I couldn 't get onto the podium in front of my home crowd , who have been absolutely amazing all weekend . You can never forget the fans around here - I genuinely think they helped Lewis and me to a good result today . And they got to see and cheer Lewis on the podium too , so it 's not been a bad weekend for them overall , I hope . After Friday , to pick up second and fourth today is great . I 'm still second in the drivers ' championship , and the only pain is that Lewis has pulled away a bit . But we 'll try and get that back at the next race . I reckon we 'll turn up at Hockenheim with a stronger car , and that therefore we won 't be fighting from the start of the weekend . I hope we 'll have a good race there and can really take the fight to the Red Bulls . " Martin Whitmarsh , Team Principal : " Well , what can I say ? ! Both our drivers drove fantastic races under serious pressure , and the result was 30 valuable points to add to our constructors ' world championship kitty . Lewis made a superb start and thereafter kept the pace up all afternoon . He drove brilliantly - in fact I don 't think you 'll see many better second places than that all season . Jenson , too , drove a masterly race to make up 10 places - from 14th at the start to fourth at the finish - and the team got all the strategy calls right for him . In fact , the team 's efforts over the whole weekend have been exemplary . I 've said it before , but the team is operating more cohesively than ever before , whether we 've been working late into the night to prepare the cars , or Gary putting in additional time in the simulator on Friday night to ensure we began Saturday in as competitive a proposition as possible . It 's that effort and dedication that has kept us in the lead of both world championships . So , well done , boys . So , yes , although we didn 't win the 2010 Santander British Grand Prix , today is a good day . We saw an excellent afternoon 's racing on a wonderful racetrack - and we leave Silverstone with our lead in the constructors ' world championship intact , and with Lewis and Jenson still in first and second places in the drivers ' world championship . In the past four grands prix we 've scored 149 points out of a possible 172 - a stupendous achievement that speaks volumes for the tenacious determination of all at Vodafone McLaren Mercedes . " Nico Rosberg ( 3rd ) : " I had a good start today and was happy to be up to fourth place by the end of the first lap . Robert was holding me up and with Fernando pushing hard behind , it wasn 't easy to maintain the place . Our strategy was really strong today so thanks to the guys on the pit wall for their efforts and keeping me out on the options . I had a great lap and with the quick pit stop , it was enough to get me out ahead of Robert , and that made the podium possible . It 's been a good effort from the team to turn our situation around after Valencia . We have made a step forward and analyzed where we went wrong and to come away with a podium today is fantastic . It 's a real turnaround and I am confident that there is more to come from us . " Michael Schumacher ( 9th ) : " Again a race which I am not really happy about today . It was ok and seeing Nico on the podium is good for the team but my race was obviously less rewarding . I was in traffic for most of the race and did not really have a clear track . After the pit stop where I had to push really hard to make it in front of Rubens , I unfortunately made a mistake out of a slow corner which put me off the track . That cost me a lot of time plus two positions and that was it for today . We now look towards Hockenheim where we obviously will do everything to perform in the best possible way . " Ross Brawn , Team Principal : " That was a very good performance from Nico and the team today . Nico had a great race and we got the maximum out of the car with a strong start , good strategy and impressive driving . Nico pushed as hard as he needed to and produced some great laps at the crucial time so his race went perfectly . Michael also had a good start and his position was looking interesting . We made an early pit stop to put him in fresh air , as he told us the guys around him were holding him up , but unfortunately he made a mistake and lost the advantage that we were gaining from the early stop . When the others made their stops , they were out in front of him , and with some damage to the car , that was really his race . Overall we 've done a respectable job this weekend and now we just have to find some more pace . We 're all looking forward to going back to the factory this evening with the trophy to see our team and their families . " Norbert Haug , Mercedes Motorsport Director : " A great race from Nico and the team . Starting from fifth position , Nico came home in third place to finish on the podium for the third time in the last eight races . Our performance this weekend looked better than a fortnight ago in Valencia . I am very happy that the team has achieved a podium finish at our home race and this fits perfectly with the BBQ that we have this evening with all our team members in Brackley . Starting from tenth place , Michael drove a committed race and brought home points . I am absolutely sure that we will see similar results to Nico 's podium today sooner rather than later for Michael . " Mark Webber ( 1st ) : " It 's great to win here in Silverstone ; it 's got such a lot of history and to win big races like this one and Monaco is so rewarding . The start was ideal , when I got to the first corner I was ahead and thought , ' let 's get on with it ' . It was a special day and a lot of hard work has gone in from the team - you don 't get results at this level if you 're not putting the effort in . They deserve this today . Yesterday was a unique situation , but I 'm confident we can sort everything for the future . Going forward , I will do the best I can . It was an incredible day today and I 'm looking forward to enjoying myself this evening . " Sebastian Vettel ( 7th ) : " I had a bad start , we went too aggressive with the clutch and I had quite a lot of wheel - spin . Then I had the puncture , I didn 't feel anything , so I wasn 't sure what happened . After the first turn , something was strange and I saw the rear - right puncture . Unfortunately after I got it , I got a bit of damage to the car which lost me some performance , but I was able to recover and score some points , which was important . For the first thirty laps , I didn 't have much to do except going around trying to catch up , but after the safety car I had some people to fight and that was good fun , I was racing people like Felipe and Michael - it 's great as whenever you try something and you see a gap you know that they are smart enough to see it , so it was good fun for the last twenty laps . It 's always a good race here with a great atmosphere . " Christian Horner , Sporting Director : " It 's fantastic to win in front of all the team members today . Mark drove an excellent race , he made a very good start and the team was fantastic in the pit stops - it was a flawless performance from him . Sebastian was unlucky at the first corner , I 'm not sure if contact was made with Hamilton at the start , but thereafter he made an excellent recovery drive to score some important points for the team . It was unlucky to have got the puncture , but it was a good recovery thereafter . The most important thing today is winning this race in front of all the people that work so hard to make the team what it is . " Fabrice Lom , Renault : " A superb victory from Mark from an eventful race which included a lot of action and close racing . Sebastian suffered from this in the first corner , but made a very strong recovery to move from last to seventh ; it was a huge drive from him today . It was a good result for our engines , as this is a hard track for them here in Silverstone . We came hoping for a one - two , we got a victory and we have to be happy with that . We gained one point over McLaren ; we still have a gap to make up but we won 't give up . " Fernando Alonso ( 14th ) : " I made a horrible start - we had some problems with the clutch - and then came the incident with Kubica which further affected my race . I do not wish to comment on the Stewards ' decision . The team acted correctly but the instruction to hand back the position arrived when I had already passed another driver and in the meantime , Kubica was visibly slowing down before retiring . On top of that , the penalty coincided with the Safety Car and so , rather than just losing a couple of positions , I lost around a dozen . Even with my difficult start , I am convinced I could have finished third , but instead I go home with nothing . The championship situation is definitely looking more difficult , but we have only just gone past the halfway point of the season and anything can still happen . The car is better and I was flying when I had a clear track ahead of me : we must continue to work and believe in ourselves . " Felipe Massa ( 15th ) : " I don 't know what to do , but I have to find some way of getting rid of the bad luck that is following me around ! In the last few races , everything has happened to me . Today my race was soon over , when I touched with Fernando and got a puncture which dropped me to the back of the pack . The car was going well , but that 's not much use if you cannot get a result . The championship is not over after this race , but clearly my situation is compromised : I would need to win a lot of races while others run into the same difficulties that have come my way in recent races . However , we must not give up : we will keep our heads high and continue to push on the development of the car and then see what results come our way . " Stefano Domenicali , Team Principal : " We seem to be really cursed at the moment , when everything that could go wrong , does . We are not happy , but we must not feel sorry for ourselves . Instead , we have to react calmly , remaining focused and continuing to work in the way we did over the past few weeks . We go home with no points , but with the knowledge that we have a potential , in terms of the car , the team and the drivers , that is up to the right level to deal with the situation . We must not allow ourselves to give in to frustration : I am sure that the results and the points that have been lacking for so many reasons recently , will come . Clearly , the championship situation is looking complicated but we remain convinced we can still fight for the title . We will continue to push on the development of the F10 , confident in our chances to make up the ground we have lost up until today . " Chris Dyer : " We are very , very disappointed at how this race turned out . Our drivers ' chances were practically over on the opening lap , especially in Felipe 's case , as he had to pit with a puncture . Fernando found himself in traffic and we tried to gain him a few places by bringing him in early for his stop , but the plan did not work . Then there was the incident when Alonso overtook Kubica which was a key moment in our driver 's race , because of the Stewards ' decision : his penalty took away any chance he had of finishing in the points , especially as its arrival coincided with the Safety Car period . We are going through a difficult time , but we must not give up . We have shown that the performance of our car has improved at a track that does not suit it that well . We must continue to work in this direction . " Rubens Barrichello ( 5th ) : " It was a good race today . It started well on the opening lap and I managed to claim some positions without too much trouble . Around the stops and the Safety Car , we gained a position from Alonso and lost one to Jenson , but overall we were in a safe position to come home in fifth . It is a great effort from the team to achieve a top five finish two races in a row - not so much in absolute results , but the direction of improvement . The team is still not quite where it belongs , but we are quite happy with our performance today . We will continue to think and work positively and continue our forward progress . " Nico Hulkenberg ( 10th ) : " All in all that was a positive race . It 's a shame I lost places at the start though and going down the Hangar Straight Petrov just managed to overtake me round the outside . That , combined with not being able to get past Michael at the end , meant tenth for me today . A long first stint on the option tire was the right strategy call and a good effort by the team . " Sam Michael , Technical Director : " Both drivers in the points today is another good result for the team . Rubens had a great first lap and embedded himself into a points - paying position . Nico did an excellent job in his first stint , following a different strategy and staying out on his set of options for as long as possible . All of the aero upgrades worked well on both cars , which shows the factory is making good progress . We now need to maintain that progress . " Vitaly Petrov ( 13th ) : " Today I think it was possible to finish in the points , but I had some bad luck with a puncture after the Safety Car period which cost me a lot of time . My start was not too bad , and I made up three positions on the first lap . After then , though , it was really difficult to overtake because there are no slow corners at this circuit , but I tried my best . It 's good to have finished the race because it gives us lots of data and gives me more experience of the track . " Robert Kubica ( DNF , Driveshaft ) : " I had a dream first lap , gaining a lot of places , but after that our pace was not so good and I was lacking overall grip . Following my pit stop I had a nice fight with Alonso , but he overtook me by cutting turn eight . I was on the inside , he was on the outside and he passed me with all four wheels off the track . The team informed me that he would have to give back the position , but before he could do that we had a driveshaft failure at the rear of the car , so all I could do was bring it back to the pits and retire . " Eric Boullier , Team Principal : " Robert had an exceptional start to the race , but unfortunately this was to be the only enjoyable moment of the day . It 's disappointing to see him retire , but the car has been extremely reliable this year and this is his first retirement of the season . As for Vitaly , his race pace was good today , but he picked up a puncture and that ruined his race . We now have to bounce back and find more speed because we struggled for overall pace this weekend . We also saw today how close the fight is with Mercedes and we need to work hard to get back ahead of them . " Alan Permane , Chief Race Engineer : " It was a tough afternoon for us and it 's disappointing to come away empty - handed . Robert made a fantastic start , up into third place on lap one , but we didn 't have the pace today to race Mercedes . When we stopped Robert on lap 13 to stay ahead of Fernando , Rosberg was able to put in two or three very quick laps and managed to jump ahead of us . Robert 's race was ended by what appears to have been a failure of the left rear driveshaft , although we are still investigating exactly what happened . Vitaly 's race was looking promising and he had made it up to the top ten until he picked up a puncture , which forced him to pit and dropped him back to P13 . " Remi Taffin , Head of Engine Operations : " This was a disappointing result after all our hard work over the race weekend . We had made another step forward with the car for Silverstone , and we saw a flash of that potential with Robert in qualifying . He made an excellent start , which is something we have worked on as well , and he was running in a good position , ahead of a number of quicker rivals . Although some of them got past , we could still have scored a top - five finish , but Robert 's retirement was a reminder , if one was needed , that you need to be 100 % reliable if you want to finish in the points . The only possible response is to work even harder , to ensure that there is no repeat - and that we continue to improve at the next race . " Adrian Sutil ( 8th ) : " It was fun and quite an interesting race . We started on the hard tire as we wanted to try a long stint at the start but it was not really possible as the tires didn 't behave well at the beginning . I didn 't have enough grip on the car so we came in to do an early stop and go on the soft tire , so really the opposite strategy to everyone else . It worked well although the last ten laps were tough . But we managed it and there were some really good fights with Schumacher and then Vettel . It was good racing and I defended my position well against Vettel until the final lap , but then he just seemed to drive into me and I lost the racing line and had to move over . Otherwise I don 't think he would have got past me . All the same eighth position was a good result in the end , it 's more points and it keeps that momentum going . I 'm really looking forward to my home Grand Prix in Germany next . " Vitantonio Liuzzi ( 11th ) : " I really enjoyed the second part of the race . We need to understand what happened in the first part of the race as with the hard tires we had unbelievable understeer . I couldn 't cope with the high speed corners and was really struggling to keep positions and a strong pace . We have to work it out as on the softer tires we were performing very well and finished just a few hundredths from the points . Definitely without this issue we could have been in the points so we 'll look at it and understand . We also still have an issue with the speed in the race but it was a great race overall and I always pushed 100 % as you never know what can happen at the end . " Dr . Vijay Mallya , Team Principal : " I 'm really proud of both drivers here today - both demonstrated great racing acumen to keep positions . It also gave us some great television ! In both situations - Adrian with Sebastian and Tonio with Fernando - it would have been very easy for them to buckle , but they really did us proud and so nearly produced another double points finish . The pace of the car is clearly there and with more updates scheduled for the next race we can be very optimistic for the second half of the season . Our next focus now has to be getting the whole weekend together on both cars , but in terms of finishes and results we are where we should be at this point in the season . " Sebastien Buemi ( 12th ) : " It did not go well for me today . In terms of our strategy , after my tire change , I came out behind Liuzzi who had not pitted , so I spent around ten laps behind him , using my front tires a lot and when the Safety Car went in , I had a lot of graining on my front left tire . By the time that cleared up , I was able to put in some good lap times , but by then it was too late to do much . I am disappointed because I think one point might have been possible today , so we did not do a good job . " Jaime Alguersuari ( DNF , Spin ) : " Of course I am disappointed not to have finished , but I was quite happy with my race up to that point , because the pace was there , I felt comfortable with the car and was getting faster as the race progressed . The team did a perfect job with my pit stop strategy . As usual , I suffer a bit at tracks I have not driven before , having to learn them from Friday to Saturday , but from Hungary onwards , I will have had that experience from last season , which will make life easier . " Franz Tost , Team Principal : " At the end of the first lap , Sebastien came round in eleventh place , which looked quite encouraging , but then he dropped down the order . We decided to call him in for his pit stop a bit earlier than planned , as his lap times were not so good . After this , he then found himself stuck behind Liuzzi for several laps . The fact that he set the eighth fastest lap time in the race shows the potential of the car . As for Jaime , he drove a good race up until the moment when he had a brake problem with seven laps to go and had to retire . We will now investigate the cause of this failure . It was a shame for him , as , towards the end of the race , he had the pace to close on Hulkenberg . In two weeks time we go to Hockenheim , where we must try and do better . " Jarno Trulli ( 16th ) : " I finished the Grand Prix and managed to fight with the other teams after a pretty difficult weekend , so I 'm very happy . It 's just great for the whole team as they worked really hard with some difficult problems , but the work paid off . My pace felt very good , especially when you consider that I didn 't have a chance to work on any set up changes , and I had to get used to the new section of the track in qualifying and during the first part of the race , so I think we all did a pretty good job ! " Heikki Kovalainen ( 17th ) : " I think my pace was good all the way through the race , but there was constant traffic in front of me . I lost my position on the first lap , which was frustrating , as I then got held up quite a bit . I don 't mind being a lap down , but it 's just a shame I couldn 't really push . Overall I 'm very pleased that we managed to finish where we did and it has been a good day for the team here at Silverstone . " Tony Fernandes , Team Principal : " I 'm absolutely delighted . This has been a great day - a two car finish is just what I 've been wanting for the last few races , so I 'm very very happy ! Obviously the pitstops didn 't go to plan , but we recovered well and everything played out for us in the end . I think Heikki 's pace was very good and he raced really well , despite the unfortunate pitstop , and we got two cars home which really was the main thing . It was also a real honor for Hazel Chapman to come today and she 's brought us something very special - our motorhome is a very welcoming place for everyone in the team , and all our guests , so I 'd like to thank her for coming along and instilling a bit of that old - school Team Lotus spirit in our home . " Mike Gascoyne , Technical Director : " Today 's been good - a strong two car finish is a great return on the all the hard work that 's been put in , so well done to the whole team for that , and once again we 're best of the news teams . Apologies to Heikki as we had a problem in his pitstop which dropped him behind the Virgin , but he drove a great race in the second half and managed to regain his place . Jarno had a very solid race to make sure we had a two car finish and keep ourselves best of the new teams . The only negative was the safety car which came at the wrong time for us , because we 'd just pitted and it meant we dropped a lap down . But other than that it was a good strong Sunday , so well done to everyone in the team . " Karun Chandhok ( 19th ) : " The race was pretty much as we expected to be honest . We weren 't really in a position to race with others so I pushed early on to open about 15 seconds gap to Sakon . After the pit stop , I ran over some debris which damaged the barge board and the side pod on my car costing downforce . So after the safety car it was all about just managing the damage and the gap to Sakon . Another double finish for the team and that 's about all we can expect at the moment . " Sakon Yamamoto ( 20th ) : " I am very happy that the team achieved its target , another two car finish . It was a good experience for me to race in Formula 1 again . I could improve all over the weekend and got a better feeling for the car . I want to thank the team for giving me the chance to race here in Silverstone . I could show that I am prepared to be back in the cockpit and whenever I 'll get the opportunity to race again , I will take it . I also want to thank my fans who always supported me over the years . It was a very special and exciting weekend for me . " Colin Kolles , Team Principal : " We are very happy with the result as today we could finish with two cars for the fourth time this season . Karun Chandhok and Sakon Yamamoto started on option tires into the race as we found out that this tire compound was the best for a long run . Our pit stop was quite late and we changed on prime tires . Sakon showed a good performance during the race after being back in a Formula 1 car for many years . All in all , we had a trouble free race and I want to thank the team for doing a great job the whole weekend . " Kamui Kobayashi ( 6th ) : " I 'm really happy , but actually I don 't have much to tell . I had a very good start from 12th , the team did a great pit stop and the race pace today was as good as I thought it would be . I was pretty confident before the race because I can really feel how the car is getting better and better now . I had no chance to overtake anybody this time , but I still enjoyed the race . I didn 't find it especially hard , I didn 't even sweat . " Pedro de la Rosa ( 22nd DNF ) : " Naturally I 'm very disappointed . The car was quite good . I had some understeer , but nothing major . Right after the start I was racing alongside Rubens Barrichello and he pushed me wide in turn one . That was where I lost two places and dropped back to 11th . But I was still racing for points when Adrian Sutil hit me from behind at half distance of the race because not everybody in front of me had stopped by then . Unfortunately the damage proved to be too bad to continue . " Peter Sauber , Team Principal : " This was another strong and successful race for Kamui . But the difference to the recent Grand Prix in Valencia is this time he had to withstand a lot of pressure over the entire race distance . There was never a real gap ahead or behind him . He managed this tight situation very well and I think he could have gone even faster . My compliments not only to him and his driving , but also to the team which is improving the car step by step . Pedro had a very unlucky race . Right after the start he was pushed off by somebody , but he still had a good chance for points before the incident with Adrian Sutil on lap 26 . " James Key , Technical Director : " I am very pleased we brought home points for the second race in a row . We consolidated our performance shown in qualifying . Kamui had an excellent first lap and then he drove a very controlled race - again with no mistakes . The team also got everything right and the pit stop strategy was fine . It is a great shame for Pedro , because he really deserved a good race result . But after the collision the rear wing endplate and diffuser were damaged , and once we have had a first look at it we decided to retire Pedro from the race because we were uncertain about further structural damage . " Timo Glock ( 18th ) : " I had a bad start again and lost position against Jarno and Heikki . In the race I tried to stay with the Lotus , which pulled away slightly . When Heikki went in to the pits I had two really good laps and came in to the pits . The boys did a really good pit stop which brought me out in front of Heikki . Then I was following Jarno and I tried to keep up with him but I had a really big oversteer moment over a bump and nearly lost the car . Heikki then overtook me and so I finished behind the Lotus . On a positive note the pace was good and I was fairly happy with the car . " Lucas di Grassi ( 24th DNF ) : " We didn 't have a very good day . The car was good at the start but then we lost hydraulic pressure which ended my race . I am obviously disappointed but on a positive note , the car is showing great progress and I am looking forward to the next race . " John Booth , Team Principal : " I 'm really pleased with how the Team worked together this weekend . We had a number of challenging issues during Free Practice , when the boys managed to get Timo back on the track with minimal loss of track time and in the Race we had a faultless pit stop , reflecting all the hard work and practice that we 've been putting in . The new aero package works well with the mechanical upgrade we fitted in Valencia , meaning that we are in a strong position to keep moving forwards at Hockenheim . " Nick Wirth , Technical Director : " A mixed result today . We have clearly made a good step forward in performance and had a race - long battle with the Lotus cars . This was somewhat spoiled when Timo lost ground to Heikki in the yellow - flag section caused by Alguersuari 's off , which allowed Heikki to get in Timo 's slipstream and eventually pass . Lucas has fallen victim to another hydraulic gremlin , just when he was in the thick of the action , and we will address this for Hockenheim . But the progress is clear and our battles , finishing position and fastest race laps show how tight things are now . We know that every bit of performance counts , so we 'll be looking to bring more updates to Hockenheim and the races beyond , with great confidence that they will translate into yet more speed . "
|
A tale of two trees . Both serving specific purposes . One providing beauty and respite from the ugliness of the world , greeting those who visit our home with a cheery disposition and pink petals waving . The other doing its part for the universe as well . Acting as shelter to our beloved chickadees bringing sweet music to our backyard . A tale of two very different trees ; neither more useful or useless . Neither one better than the other . Both immensely loved . At my home , there are two trees . One , a flowering crab tree , planted in the backyard when Son2 was born . It stands near the gate of the fence that keeps the dog in and the unwanted out . The other , a magnolia tree , was planted 14 years later in the center front yard to celebrate the birth of my daughter . The flowering crab is flanked by a pine tree . It is eons older and was here when we purchased the house , a leftover from some ancient forest long before a housing development was even a thought . Because of the way the sun rises and sets , that pine casts a shadow on my little crab tree season after season causing the crab tree 's growth to sputter and stall . Had I not been so young when the tree was planted , I might have seen that it 's roots should have been dug up so that I could replant it far away from the pine tree that shadowed it . It should have been cultivated in a more fertile ground where the light of the sun was unhindered . It needed a place to grow without the pine tree 's shadowy darkness . Read the rest of this entry » I don 't know about you , but I am counting the days until this election season is over . I am tired of the nastiness , and am saturated with the hate and bigotry and sexism . I am exhausted with it all . Spent . As adults , if we aren 't careful , we could let all of that negativity steeped in our bones spill out and end up in the marrow of our children as well . Read the rest of this entry » When my son graduated from college , it was a proud day for all except one ; his 6 year old sister . Well , she MAY have been proud , but that isn 't the emotion that oozed from her pores that day and for several subsequent days . As with any little one , all thoughts of his graduation centered around her . How could HIS graduation in any way be about her you ask ? Well here 's a quote : " Mama , I know that this is a proud day and all for my brother , but I am just so happy because this means that he 'll never leave me again ! " And while both you and I know that nothing about that is even remotely true , we 'll let her have it , even if it is for just a little while . Read the rest of this entry » The first time he crossed a busy Manhattan Street was in a stroller that I pushed . He hated it there and threw up on the side of a building and so we crossed right back over that same street to our awaiting car to take him home . Read the rest of this entry » Ok … Ok . I 'll take a break … from the word , break . ( See what I did there ? ) But really … in all seriousness … when will this urgent need to fix all that ails my children finally pass ? Let me ask you . When your kids are sad , broken , beside themselves , do you agonize over how to make it better ? Or am I alone in that ? This past week was a doozy for this fix - it - all - mama . Both boys , Son1 and Son2 , experienced their own particular heartaches and , well , it was as if those things happened to me . Their sadness , their losses , their disappointments became mine . Honestly , the fact that they were hurting was pure unadulterated agony . But luckily , just in the nick of time , my husband said something that got me thinking . In the midst of a full on mope , he looked me in the eye and said , " Son1 isn 't alone in this experience . What did we do when we were young and this happened to us ? " I do not have the ability to support my children monetarily . I admit that for a long time that could sometimes get me down , especially during the holidays . There are so many things that I wish I could get , buy and do for my kids ; cars and college tuition , toys and tech , a modern sleek house they could be proud to bring their friends to , well - needed vacations and well - earned rewards . But I can 't . It just isn 't in the cards and hasn 't been for awhile . But then , just in time , while reading Ralph Waldo Emerson , I came across a line of his poetry that turned me around , that reminded me of what was important . Read the rest of this entry » Share this : Share on Facebook ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on Twitter ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on Pinterest ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on Google + ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on LinkedIn ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on Reddit ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on Pocket ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on Tumblr ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on WhatsApp ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on Skype ( Opens in new window ) Click to print ( Opens in new window ) Click to email ( Opens in new window ) Like this : Like Loading . . . Leave a Comment Hindsight Parenting : Knowing Better . Doing Better As many of you know , my 18 year son is currently incarcerated due to his battle with addiction . Most of us know that as parents , when our children fail , we turn inward , we regret , and if we have any conscience at all , we analyze and analyze and analyze ad nauseum what we did to contribute to the downfall of the children we love . I am no different . As Son2 struggled and drowned in alcohol and drugs , I drowned in guilt and panic and soul - aching regret . And while this kind of work has been fiercely private , there is this woman who lives in my small town , who knows nothing of who I am and even less about my son , but who inexplicably thinks that she knows exactly what it is that I did to contribute to my child 's demise . If you listened to her talk or if she wrote you a letter on the subject , she 'd tell you that it was because I was too permissive . She 'd say that I let Son2 get away with it all - the lying , the drugs , the partying , the ditching school - all of it . If you believed her , she 'd tell you that I didn 't parent one iota , if you listened to her . Read the rest of this entry » I am a teacher ; have been for 23 years . If you don 't know , a teacher 's clock is different than other adults . For us , this week is the end of the " year . " June is when the last chords play on a song that has it all ; soft parts , loud parts , fast , heart - racing tempos and slow , feet - dragging beats . In June , I am pensive and melancholy because of the ending … the missing of students and parents and colleagues with which you spend most of your day . In June , I am reflective . I look back and take stock . When I was 9 , while eating dinner in a fancy restaurant with my parents and sisters , an elderly woman at another table began to choke . The two men seated with her stood up quickly and one grabbed her around her middle to perform the Heimlich maneuver ( although at the time , I didn 't know that was what he was doing ) . There was quite a lot of commotion surrounding the scene ; silverware clanking on dishes , women gasping , and chairs scraping , but I couldn 't seem to take my eyes off of the poor woman 's face . She was so clearly suffering , and so terribly full of fear . In an instant , her fear seemed to wash over me and I began to panic as well . My body started to shake . I felt the familiar sourness of nausea . My hands trembled and my armpits prickled with sharp needle - like jabs . I was overwhelmed with dread and turned to my mother who was standing across the table from me . I appealed to her with the only word that my dry lips could form , " Mommy ? " There was a lot of meaning in that single utterance … Mommy can we help ? Mommy I am scared . Mommy I don 't like how fearful I feel . Mommy will it be ok ? Perhaps because she was feeling just as scared , or maybe because she didn 't have any answers to those invisible questions , she responded with a scolding " Logan , don 't start ! ! " Read the rest of this entry » In April of this year , after some unforeseen and life - shaking circumstances , I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I needed to make some changes . Life - quaking things often bring these realizations , and this time was no different , but as I pondered what to do , I became increasingly aware that my options were not abundant for so many reasons . I knew from experience that hoping that those around you would change , needing them to change for you , wishing and dreaming about the day they would wake up after experiencing three ghosts completely renewed in a Scroogian way - well - it wasn 't happening . The changes I needed to make had to be my own . But how ? Confused ? Let me give you an instance : Ila gets anxiety everyday before going into her kindergarten class . When the door opens , and the teacher steps out , she buries her face into my legs , or if I am squatting down at her level she grips my hair or scarf with a vice - like hold . I have to peel her off me by prying her fingers open and kind of giving her a loving pat on the bottom towards the classroom while her chin quivers as if I am torturing her . This , as you can imagine , is agonizing each day , and so I decided that as her mom , I needed to " right " it , fix it , and make it so the anxiety was gone . I decided to start with a good heart to heart conversation . Read the rest of this entry » Although he 's twenty , just last week , Son1 went " off " to college for the first time . For the past two years , he 'd been attending classes at our local community college trying to figure out what he wanted to do . This past spring , all his hard work there paid off and he was accepted to many colleges and universities . He chose a college in Connecticut . ( Not a huge surprise since Magicalfairyprincessgirlfriend goes there as well . ) Since this is a first for me , a child leaving … really leaving the nest … I had no Hindsight to lean on , and so I had to rely on my gut instead . The week before , I kept checking in with myself on how I was feeling with all this moving away to a new state , new city , hours away from his family . And well … for the entire week before … heck even while I was setting up his chic dorm room my gut said that I was just fine . All I was feeling , seemingly , was pride and excitement . This move ultimately was what every parent strives for while raising their children . He was unfurling his wings , moving into adulthood with grace and assurance . I am proud . I was and am excited . Even as I said goodbye , the pride swelled in me . " Off you go first born love of my life . Go and live this experience to the fullest . " Then I got in the car … Then I got home . Then … then I woke up the next day and well , the pride and excitement was still there , but so was this distinct melancholy ; a weepy sort of lonely feeling that got worse as the day went on . I realized very quickly that the day after dropping my child off to college was going to feel worse than the day of . Tear triggers were everywhere and I learned the hard way the top five things NOT to do the day after dropping your child off at college … Read the rest of this entry » She swings by herself . Grabs the chains that hold the brown plastic rectangle that serves as a seat . Her muscular arms pull her up deftly and her bottom plops down . Her legs that are a full two inches longer than they were in June start to pump . Feet flex as her legs straighten and toes point as legs fold . Soon , very soon , actually unbelievably soon , she has a momentum that would satisfy any child . I am sitting in the swing next to her and she is chattering away about the dog and his bone and the hole he dug , but I am lost in the sight of her wispy hair and the way it covers her round cheeks as the swing takes her back and wiggles in the air like an octopus 's tentacles as the swing moves her forward . " Slow down , " I long to say , but I know it isn 't about the swing . It 's not about the swing at all . Read the rest of this entry » We 're halfway through the summer . We 've had a week of a vacation to the most popular destination in the country . We 've had major Pinterest wins and Pinterest fails ( don 't try the water blob … unless you want to sweat and swear … then by all means go right ahead . ) . We 've had lesson after lesson ; music , equine , swimming , OT and PT . We 've begun the process of " real reading , " on the request of my daughter herself . We 've gone to beaches , to parks , to fairs , to bouncy palaces , to zoos ( where the camels got close and up front spitting on me for good measure ) and to fancy schmancy concerts where we got to sit on the lawn and listen to the likes of James Taylor and our favorite Beatles tribute band . We bought an amazing sprinkler made up of individual flowers that spray water out at gentle angles and even put the kiddie pool directly underneath the kitchen window so that we could fill it up with warm water from the tap . Pretty successful huh ? Not too shabby . Not too shabby at all … so why is it that the moment I realized we were at summer 's halfway point , I got a ginormous pit - of - death smack dab in the middle of my solar plexus ? Read the rest of this entry » " Sing silly words to the Doc McStuffins CD mommy ! " Ila exclaimed . This is often a game that we play in the car to pass the time . So I obliged . I admit that I relish the belly giggles my daughter gets and so it is a challenge for me to make her laugh and the lyrics that I sing can be quite nonsensical . The particular song that was on was Doc singing the virtues of eating a good diet ; " Eat good food and your body will thank you . You 're gonna love the way you feeeeel . Eat good food ! " But instead I sang , " Eat JUNK FOOD and your belly will be big . You 're not going to like the way you feel . Eat junk food ! " And then … . . well … then nothing . Just silence . A LOOOONG silence . And then Ila saying , " Turn off the music mommy . Stop singing . " I immediately did what she said out of worry and confusion . There was a little more silence then I looked in the rear view mirror and she was whispering to herself , " But my belly 's big . But my belly 's big . But my belly 's big . " She pushed down on her stomach hard and pulled the seat belt strap tight to try and flatten it . My heart broke . Into a million pieces … it broke . It happened - her first out loud moment of body hatred - just four years old . Read the rest of this entry » Most of know the movie and how cool kids had quite the air about them . Of course it 's not restricted to girls . Popularity and ' cool ' kids applies to boys too . I 've seen your children - in my classroom , on the playground , at my daughters preschool . I 've seen them shun the non - conformists , the quirky kids , the ones who may be poorer , or look different , or think different . I 've seen them . I know them . I once wanted desperately to be them ( and perhaps in retrospect WAS one of them . ) It must feel mighty comfortable there on the top . It might feel good to have the daughter who is the " it " girl or the son who 's the " it " guy . However , don 't get too comfy with your child 's top of the world status . Nope . I wouldn 't . Here 's the thing , I know something because of my mighty friend , Hindsight , that was just confirmed by scientist Joseph Allen . It might be great to be on top of the school food chain but that stature is short lived and quite often those kids deemed popular flounder as young adults because they don 't learn the highly necessary skill of learning to adapt to challenges and the constructs of real life . Read the rest of this entry » The dichotomy of feelings that come with school - free children are ones that many parents feel , including me … ESPECIALLY me . Last year , I tried to head off the dread and doom by planning , planning , planning , searching , searching , searching for fun things to keep my preschooler occupied . I began this searching / planning process in May . It was a rousing success . Summer with my posse of " things to do " went smoother , felt better , and was enjoyable . So this year , I decided that summer would be an even bigger success and much less stressful if I started planning in January . I have to say I am pretty pleased with this year 's summer ideas . I have broken them down for you into three categories as shared on my Pinterest board : Outdoor Activities , Rainy Day Activities , and Summer Day Trips . Some believe that the relationships you have with your children are the only " required " relationships , in that one must keep working on them for the rest of their lives . They are the only ones we 're not allowed to give up on . Some believe that parenting is a constant try and re - try . Some believe that a good parent is constantly evolving so that the connections we have with our sons and daughters remain strong . I disagree . Not with the sentiment that as a parent we must work and work each day at the relationships that we have with our children . Not even with the idea that we shouldn 't give up on or break up ( so to speak ) with our children . Hindsight has taught me that our connections with them must remain the most important things that we hold on to as parents . As a parent , I do believe these things to be true . What I don 't believe is the statement that your children are the ONLY relationships that one isn 't allowed to let go . I believe that marriage , one 's relationship with your child 's parent , also needs to be a priority and should be a relationship that we not only nurture , but hold on to , cherish , and work on , work on , work on . Now of course that isn 't to say that there aren 't toxic relationships ; abusive , detrimental or one - sided that must be let go of immediately . But the OTHER kind of marriage ; the - leave - the - toilet - seat - up - beer - cans - in - the - living - room - sticky - jelly - on - the - cutting - board - stop - yelling - at - me - did - you - just - flirt - with - that - waitress ? - can - we - do - something - besides - watch - tv kind of marriage must not be given up on . I believe that like the relationship you have with your children , a marriage should be a perseverance for the long haul . Read the rest of this entry » When I mothered my sons , I was consumed by it . It was my job , my calling , my duty . I let everything else go . I became mired down in the details , in doing things right and doing things wrong . Their mistakes were my mistakes . Their mountains were my mountains . Their triumphs were my triumphs . Their sadness , their anger , their tragedies ; all mine . I was their mother and that is all . I lost myself . Logan the singer was gone . Logan the writer hadn 't been born . Logan the academic hid her opinions and quest for knowledge . Logan the reader only showed up on a beach in the summer for 30 minutes while the boys were securely and happily playing with their step father . I didn 't even USE my own name . When I spoke it was in the third person . " Mommy will get you a drink . " " Don 't forget , mommy will pick you up at 5 . " " Mommy was so proud when you hit that homerun . " The woman in me wanted … longed for SOMETHING , but I thought it was a betrayal to my sons to go out and chase " my dreams . " When I had a chance to work as a staff developer for Columbia Teacher 's College , I turned it down . I couldn 't possibly uproot my boys . When someone asked me to join the community musical and try out for a lead role , I scoffed at the idea . Too much time away from my sons . Who would make them dinner . Who would make sure they did their homework . Who would intervene when the vitriol started between them . I played it safe . I was just their mom , and that 's all they ever saw me as - their mom . As my sons grew , I began to look forward to the day where they didn 't need a mommy as much and perhaps I 'd be able to become the woman that was tucked away because of and overruled by the mother in me . Read the rest of this entry » Son1 is twenty , and it 's no secret that in many ways I bumbled and fumbled my way through raising him . Just as it 's no secret that I use those bumbles and fumbles to guide my parenting decisions for his four year old sister , Ila . Looking BACK has made it easy to move FORWARD … but parenting an adult … well … once again , I find myself in unchartered territory . When it comes to knowing what 's appropriate and not appropriate , what actions stay behind the imaginary line and what actions step over that line , I have no experiences to lean on . And so , I will admit , that I 've been a bit nervous . I mean , he was a guinea pig once . I don 't want him to be one again . But believe it or not Hindsight 's wisdom DOES provide me a road map . After all , the things that make up good parenting at four , probably make up good parenting at any age . So lately , I decided to try this theory out . Could I transfer my new parenting truths when it comes to Ila and make them parenting truths for my 20 year old ? This is what I came up with : Read the rest of this entry » And then … the saddest cry in all humanity came from the depths of her . Tears swelled and cascaded down her tiny face . She cried hard … her - little - mouth - opening - with - no - sound - coming - out hard . I scooped her up and asked , " Sweetheart , what is the matter ? " Read the rest of this entry » We had the blowout of the century last week , my husband and I . The blowout of the century . The topic isn 't as important as the pure seething vitriol that came from both our mouths , flung at each other with all the might we could muster . It was a horrific display of the worst of our humanness . I had had it . He had had it . For weeks the blood boiled in both of us and reached the point where the pressure cooker burst - burst wide open . It was late at night . The dog was sleeping . The cat was sleeping . Ila was sleeping … or so I thought . The next morning , we both did our best to paste a shiny smile on our faces so that she wouldn 't suspect that our feelings for each other at that moment were less than fond ( to put it mildly ) . Although I didn 't notice then ( shame on me ) looking back now , Ila was very quiet that morning . She moved through the routine as if she was walking through molasses . The car ride to school wasn 't full of top - of - her - lungs " Frozen " songs and she was shy and clingy when it was time for me to leave her in her classroom . That afternoon , after picking her up , her tiny voice cut through the silence and pulled me from my very busy mind . " Mommy , why aren 't you married to Aidan 's daddy anymore ? " Read the rest of this entry » When Son1 was 17 he had the brilliant idea that he wanted a three person sling shot . It was made out of high tech stretchable exercise bands and was made to launch water balloons at " friends . " I immediately said no to the ludicrous idea knowing full well it wouldn 't be just water balloons that he and his friends would be launching … Nuh uh . I knew my son well enough to know that there would be lots of mischief making with a toy like that . Not surprisingly however , his father DID purchase it for him and my super mom senses were correct that he would choose to use said toy in a way that was NOT recommended … yup … that one fateful day in which he decided to put a potato in the harness that was meant for a water balloon . Yes , I said a potato . I had a day last week . BOY OH BOY did I have a day ! You know … one of THOSE days , where nothing goes right , nothing makes your child happy , and he or she whines and whines AND whines … and WHINES ! When I was in my twenties and had THESE kinds of days with the boys , I would explode , implode … lose - my - mind ! Yelling , stomping , snarling , slamming . I did it all . But now I have Hindsight and I know that what I do is what my children , in the end , will do as well . I also know that a mother who loses it in an unpredictable way will not be a human being that her children will trust and therefore they won 't come to her with problems that might in fact make her blow a gasket . These are truths that I know . The problem on THAT day last week is that as hard as I tried to remind myself of the things that I knew about anger and raising children , my body , my mind , my SOUL just wouldn 't respond appropriately . So as the day progressed and the whining got louder , more frequent and MUCHO irritating , the more I felt unable to keep the angry monster from jumping out of my throat . Even the heaviest iron boots wouldn 't keep him down . Believe me , I tried . I did everything that Dr . Speed Dial and my constant companion , Hindsight , have taught me about being a mother who wasn 't a raving maniac . I reasoned . I hugged . I ignored . I distracted . I played and played and played and played . And still … and still … she whined . She whiiiiiiiiiiiiined … Read the rest of this entry » When you read this , Valentine 's Day 2014 will be a memory , but the column was penned the week before … so bear with me . Anyways , is there ever really any BAD time to talk about love ? And truly , is there anyone more qualified to speak about this particular subject than a mother ? Although I didn 't grow up with the best model of what love is , the older I get the more chances I have had to observe those that are experts at it . Not only have I observed it , but I 've experienced great love from so many special friends and family , that it is impossible not to learn more and more each day and give it back to my children . And although I have a lot to learn about the strongest emotion in the world , I am beginning to understand the nuances of this complicated thing called love : Twenty ideas of love … She walks into the party . Her patent leather shoes shine , stockings are straight and sleek . Her hair is in a perfectly high ponytail with red grosgrain ribbon to hold it in place . When she arrives , she is happily greeted by the other children attending . They surround her . Two grab her hands and lead her to the awaiting bouncy houses . She scurries up the ramp and begins to bounce . Her laughter mixes with the laughter of her friends . Her mother is greeted by the other moms . She knows them all by their first name . She is gloriously adept at making small talk ; remembering to ask about this one 's son and that one 's husband , commenting on the fierce cold , and sharing recipes for perfect Valentine treats . She is pulled together perfectly ; jeans , boots , and long sweater . Her hair , in a high pony tail , matches her daughter . She nods her head in sympathetic agreement as she listens intently to one of the other mothers exclaiming how she would just PERISH if she wasn 't able to go out every weekend " just to get away for a bit . " Can you picture it ? I can … but that 's it . I can only PICTURE it . None of this scene has ever really happened in this girl 's world ; not last year , not last month , and not at a party last weekend … Read the rest of this entry » You did it ! ! ! It may not have been smooth sailing at times , but at least the dingy didn 't capsize ! You made it through the sleepless - nights - poopy - diapers - tantrum - throwing - potty - training years of infancy and toddler - dom . Now , you have a preschooler , and he or she can speak ! What does that mean ? All of that incessant crying to get what they want - done ! After all , you are living with a pint - sized communicator - all right - a rudimentary communicator , but at least able to say what he or she wants and needs . Now it 's going to be much easier , right ? Maybe … It really depends , because you see , those teeny humans , like any human learning a new language , may use a word or utterance in a way that it is not meant to be used . And without a translation guide , parents are … well … back in that dingy without a paddle . Luckily , not only have I unlocked the code to the top five most misused words and phrases by preschoolers , I have devised a parental action plan to take for each , and share them with you here : Top Five Most Misused Words and Phrases by Preschoolers … I teach . I have for 22 years , many grades 3rd through 8th . I parent . I have for 20 years , making ( as you know ) many mistakes along the way . I learn . I have been for many years , vowing to use hindsight as a guide to do better . I seek . Perhaps for the last three years , always on the lookout for ways to improve myself and the world around me . My trusty Doctor Speed Dial tells me that if you put all those things together , one could say that I am constructive . I like that last part . " opposed to destructive " . The phrase fits my state of mind , my evolution , and my intentions for myself , my children , and heck , for the universe itself over these past few years . I make a conscious effort to stay away from those that are destructive or mean or energy - suckers ( as my husband so eloquently puts it ) . Instead choosing to put emphasis on the good , on what could be learned in any situation , concentrating on a gratitude attitude … Read the rest of this entry » This past year , if you read all posts to my " Hindsight " column , you would have noticed a theme . At least I noticed one . Hindsight has taught me that the importance of seeing the positive , being grateful for the small stuff , and freely communicating appreciation is what being a family member is all about . I have discussed these realizations over the past year in many different ways . But this past week , or perhaps several weeks , those realizations , Hindsight 's realizations , have hit me over the head like a Christmas present full of rocks . Focusing on gratitude , appreciation , being positive aren 't actions that are reserved for your children . I mean , I have learned the hard way that they are all must do 's if you are a parent , but how about if you are a human ? Yes , I dare say that these qualities , if you choose to live in a constructive manner , must permeate all the moments of your lives and be shared with ALL loved ones , not just your children … Read the rest of this entry » Recently I had an essay published on mamalode . com and the response was a writer 's dream . My story was shared and discussed and appreciated . The most touching responses came from about two dozen or so mothers who private messaged me a thanks for telling the truth about motherhood … that sometimes it isn 't all rainbows and tulle tutus . And while these parents found refuge and comfort in my story , I also took repose in the fact that I wasn 't alone as a parent who has experienced hard times with her children . Quite often in this Facebook - Instagram - Twitter universe , parents can believe that the lives of others are so much more wonderful than the lives that their families may lead . I am truly guilty of this . If you looked upon my Facebook or Instagram page for the first time , you 'd see an idyllic daughter experiencing life in ways that make fantastic photo ops . I 've even heard whispers coming out of that small town gossip mill that I speak of often that I post WAY too many pictures of my daughter being … well … spectacular . I will cop to that . I do . I certainly do because I DO think that she is spectacular and magical , but like all other families there are moments that aren 't lollipops and lullabies and I guess I should cop to that as well . So in the spirit of full disclosure , it 's time to dispel the myth once and for all that being a parent is always and forever fulfilling and transcendent . Nope . Not in my house … Read the rest of this entry » Welcome to Hilltown Families , an online grassroots communication network for families living throughout the four counties of Western Massachusetts . Hilltown Families believes in creating resilient and sustainable communities by developing and strengthening a sense of place in our children and citizens through community - based education and engagement . We work to accomplish this by highlighting the embedded learning that is found everywhere in our communities , making the information accessible to families , and giving parents / educators access to opportunities that support their children 's interests and education while encouraging community engagement . Hilltown Families was founded in 2005 by Sienna Wildfield and is a 501 ( c ) 3 non - profit organization . ♦ en Español Established in 2005 , Hilltown Families has been supporting community - based education through community engagement for over a decade ! With your support we can continue to connect community members of all ages with learning and value - based opportunities throughout the four counties of western Massachusetts ! Make a tax - deductible donation to Hilltown Families today ! - Hilltown Families is a 501 ( c ) 3 non - profit organization . " We try to go to at least one of the Hilltown Families recommended events each weekend to keep our son experiencing new , educational , and community oriented experiences . Hilltown Families supports my interests in education through community engagement by providing a network of families with similar interests in the same area … a sense of belonging to a group that supports my goals and interests . " - Yi - Lo Yu ( Southampton , MA ) The Hilltown Family Variety Show ( HFVS ) airs Saturday mornings on Valley Free Radio , 103 . 3FM WXOJ , Northampton , MA from 9 - 10am with encores on Sunday from 7 - 8am . Playlist and podcasts are posted immediately following broadcast . Listen to our archived shows at any time : HFVS Archived Shows . © Sienna Wildfield and Hilltown Families , Inc . , 2006 - 2016 . Unauthorized use and / or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog 's author and / or owner is strictly prohibited . Excerpts and links may be used , provided that full and clear credit is given to HilltownFamilies . org with appropriate and specific direction / link to the original content . Photo use and reprint permission inquires may be sent to info @ hilltownfamilies . org . Posting a comment to Hilltown Famiies will automatically add you to the Hilltown Families mailing list to receive our weekly update . Email address are never rented or sold . To be removed from our mailing list , email info @ hilltownfamilies . org to request to be removed . Information provided on Hilltown Families ( HTF ) is for informational and entertainment purposes only . Reasonable efforts are made to provide the most accurate information , but no guarantees of any kind can be made . Information can be changed without prior notice . Please check with 3rd parties to confirm all listings for date / time , cost , location and age appropriateness before attending . Opinions expressed on HTF are that of the writer and not necessarily that of HTF . In no event shall HTF be liable ( directly or indirectly ) for any losses or damages causes ( or allegedly caused ) in connection with HTF . All health and wellness related information is for entertainment purposes only and should not be used to substitute for professional medical advice or diagnosis . All provided links are provided as a courtesy and not as an endorsement . HTF is not responsible for the content of external websites . Post was not sent - check your email addresses ! Email check failed , please try again Sorry , your blog cannot share posts by email . % d bloggers like this :
|
A tale of two trees . Both serving specific purposes . One providing beauty and respite from the ugliness of the world , greeting those who visit our home with a cheery disposition and pink petals waving . The other doing its part for the universe as well . Acting as shelter to our beloved chickadees bringing sweet music to our backyard . A tale of two very different trees ; neither more useful or useless . Neither one better than the other . Both immensely loved . At my home , there are two trees . One , a flowering crab tree , planted in the backyard when Son2 was born . It stands near the gate of the fence that keeps the dog in and the unwanted out . The other , a magnolia tree , was planted 14 years later in the center front yard to celebrate the birth of my daughter . The flowering crab is flanked by a pine tree . It is eons older and was here when we purchased the house , a leftover from some ancient forest long before a housing development was even a thought . Because of the way the sun rises and sets , that pine casts a shadow on my little crab tree season after season causing the crab tree 's growth to sputter and stall . Had I not been so young when the tree was planted , I might have seen that it 's roots should have been dug up so that I could replant it far away from the pine tree that shadowed it . It should have been cultivated in a more fertile ground where the light of the sun was unhindered . It needed a place to grow without the pine tree 's shadowy darkness . Read the rest of this entry » I don 't know about you , but I am counting the days until this election season is over . I am tired of the nastiness , and am saturated with the hate and bigotry and sexism . I am exhausted with it all . Spent . As adults , if we aren 't careful , we could let all of that negativity steeped in our bones spill out and end up in the marrow of our children as well . Read the rest of this entry » When my son graduated from college , it was a proud day for all except one ; his 6 year old sister . Well , she MAY have been proud , but that isn 't the emotion that oozed from her pores that day and for several subsequent days . As with any little one , all thoughts of his graduation centered around her . How could HIS graduation in any way be about her you ask ? Well here 's a quote : " Mama , I know that this is a proud day and all for my brother , but I am just so happy because this means that he 'll never leave me again ! " And while both you and I know that nothing about that is even remotely true , we 'll let her have it , even if it is for just a little while . Read the rest of this entry » The first time he crossed a busy Manhattan Street was in a stroller that I pushed . He hated it there and threw up on the side of a building and so we crossed right back over that same street to our awaiting car to take him home . Read the rest of this entry » Ok … Ok . I 'll take a break … from the word , break . ( See what I did there ? ) But really … in all seriousness … when will this urgent need to fix all that ails my children finally pass ? Let me ask you . When your kids are sad , broken , beside themselves , do you agonize over how to make it better ? Or am I alone in that ? This past week was a doozy for this fix - it - all - mama . Both boys , Son1 and Son2 , experienced their own particular heartaches and , well , it was as if those things happened to me . Their sadness , their losses , their disappointments became mine . Honestly , the fact that they were hurting was pure unadulterated agony . But luckily , just in the nick of time , my husband said something that got me thinking . In the midst of a full on mope , he looked me in the eye and said , " Son1 isn 't alone in this experience . What did we do when we were young and this happened to us ? " I do not have the ability to support my children monetarily . I admit that for a long time that could sometimes get me down , especially during the holidays . There are so many things that I wish I could get , buy and do for my kids ; cars and college tuition , toys and tech , a modern sleek house they could be proud to bring their friends to , well - needed vacations and well - earned rewards . But I can 't . It just isn 't in the cards and hasn 't been for awhile . But then , just in time , while reading Ralph Waldo Emerson , I came across a line of his poetry that turned me around , that reminded me of what was important . Read the rest of this entry » Share this : Share on Facebook ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on Twitter ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on Pinterest ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on Google + ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on LinkedIn ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on Reddit ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on Pocket ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on Tumblr ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on WhatsApp ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on Skype ( Opens in new window ) Click to print ( Opens in new window ) Click to email ( Opens in new window ) Like this : Like Loading . . . Leave a Comment Hindsight Parenting : Knowing Better . Doing Better As many of you know , my 18 year son is currently incarcerated due to his battle with addiction . Most of us know that as parents , when our children fail , we turn inward , we regret , and if we have any conscience at all , we analyze and analyze and analyze ad nauseum what we did to contribute to the downfall of the children we love . I am no different . As Son2 struggled and drowned in alcohol and drugs , I drowned in guilt and panic and soul - aching regret . And while this kind of work has been fiercely private , there is this woman who lives in my small town , who knows nothing of who I am and even less about my son , but who inexplicably thinks that she knows exactly what it is that I did to contribute to my child 's demise . If you listened to her talk or if she wrote you a letter on the subject , she 'd tell you that it was because I was too permissive . She 'd say that I let Son2 get away with it all - the lying , the drugs , the partying , the ditching school - all of it . If you believed her , she 'd tell you that I didn 't parent one iota , if you listened to her . Read the rest of this entry » I am a teacher ; have been for 23 years . If you don 't know , a teacher 's clock is different than other adults . For us , this week is the end of the " year . " June is when the last chords play on a song that has it all ; soft parts , loud parts , fast , heart - racing tempos and slow , feet - dragging beats . In June , I am pensive and melancholy because of the ending … the missing of students and parents and colleagues with which you spend most of your day . In June , I am reflective . I look back and take stock . When I was 9 , while eating dinner in a fancy restaurant with my parents and sisters , an elderly woman at another table began to choke . The two men seated with her stood up quickly and one grabbed her around her middle to perform the Heimlich maneuver ( although at the time , I didn 't know that was what he was doing ) . There was quite a lot of commotion surrounding the scene ; silverware clanking on dishes , women gasping , and chairs scraping , but I couldn 't seem to take my eyes off of the poor woman 's face . She was so clearly suffering , and so terribly full of fear . In an instant , her fear seemed to wash over me and I began to panic as well . My body started to shake . I felt the familiar sourness of nausea . My hands trembled and my armpits prickled with sharp needle - like jabs . I was overwhelmed with dread and turned to my mother who was standing across the table from me . I appealed to her with the only word that my dry lips could form , " Mommy ? " There was a lot of meaning in that single utterance … Mommy can we help ? Mommy I am scared . Mommy I don 't like how fearful I feel . Mommy will it be ok ? Perhaps because she was feeling just as scared , or maybe because she didn 't have any answers to those invisible questions , she responded with a scolding " Logan , don 't start ! ! " Read the rest of this entry » In April of this year , after some unforeseen and life - shaking circumstances , I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I needed to make some changes . Life - quaking things often bring these realizations , and this time was no different , but as I pondered what to do , I became increasingly aware that my options were not abundant for so many reasons . I knew from experience that hoping that those around you would change , needing them to change for you , wishing and dreaming about the day they would wake up after experiencing three ghosts completely renewed in a Scroogian way - well - it wasn 't happening . The changes I needed to make had to be my own . But how ? Confused ? Let me give you an instance : Ila gets anxiety everyday before going into her kindergarten class . When the door opens , and the teacher steps out , she buries her face into my legs , or if I am squatting down at her level she grips my hair or scarf with a vice - like hold . I have to peel her off me by prying her fingers open and kind of giving her a loving pat on the bottom towards the classroom while her chin quivers as if I am torturing her . This , as you can imagine , is agonizing each day , and so I decided that as her mom , I needed to " right " it , fix it , and make it so the anxiety was gone . I decided to start with a good heart to heart conversation . Read the rest of this entry » Although he 's twenty , just last week , Son1 went " off " to college for the first time . For the past two years , he 'd been attending classes at our local community college trying to figure out what he wanted to do . This past spring , all his hard work there paid off and he was accepted to many colleges and universities . He chose a college in Connecticut . ( Not a huge surprise since Magicalfairyprincessgirlfriend goes there as well . ) Since this is a first for me , a child leaving … really leaving the nest … I had no Hindsight to lean on , and so I had to rely on my gut instead . The week before , I kept checking in with myself on how I was feeling with all this moving away to a new state , new city , hours away from his family . And well … for the entire week before … heck even while I was setting up his chic dorm room my gut said that I was just fine . All I was feeling , seemingly , was pride and excitement . This move ultimately was what every parent strives for while raising their children . He was unfurling his wings , moving into adulthood with grace and assurance . I am proud . I was and am excited . Even as I said goodbye , the pride swelled in me . " Off you go first born love of my life . Go and live this experience to the fullest . " Then I got in the car … Then I got home . Then … then I woke up the next day and well , the pride and excitement was still there , but so was this distinct melancholy ; a weepy sort of lonely feeling that got worse as the day went on . I realized very quickly that the day after dropping my child off to college was going to feel worse than the day of . Tear triggers were everywhere and I learned the hard way the top five things NOT to do the day after dropping your child off at college … Read the rest of this entry » She swings by herself . Grabs the chains that hold the brown plastic rectangle that serves as a seat . Her muscular arms pull her up deftly and her bottom plops down . Her legs that are a full two inches longer than they were in June start to pump . Feet flex as her legs straighten and toes point as legs fold . Soon , very soon , actually unbelievably soon , she has a momentum that would satisfy any child . I am sitting in the swing next to her and she is chattering away about the dog and his bone and the hole he dug , but I am lost in the sight of her wispy hair and the way it covers her round cheeks as the swing takes her back and wiggles in the air like an octopus 's tentacles as the swing moves her forward . " Slow down , " I long to say , but I know it isn 't about the swing . It 's not about the swing at all . Read the rest of this entry » We 're halfway through the summer . We 've had a week of a vacation to the most popular destination in the country . We 've had major Pinterest wins and Pinterest fails ( don 't try the water blob … unless you want to sweat and swear … then by all means go right ahead . ) . We 've had lesson after lesson ; music , equine , swimming , OT and PT . We 've begun the process of " real reading , " on the request of my daughter herself . We 've gone to beaches , to parks , to fairs , to bouncy palaces , to zoos ( where the camels got close and up front spitting on me for good measure ) and to fancy schmancy concerts where we got to sit on the lawn and listen to the likes of James Taylor and our favorite Beatles tribute band . We bought an amazing sprinkler made up of individual flowers that spray water out at gentle angles and even put the kiddie pool directly underneath the kitchen window so that we could fill it up with warm water from the tap . Pretty successful huh ? Not too shabby . Not too shabby at all … so why is it that the moment I realized we were at summer 's halfway point , I got a ginormous pit - of - death smack dab in the middle of my solar plexus ? Read the rest of this entry » " Sing silly words to the Doc McStuffins CD mommy ! " Ila exclaimed . This is often a game that we play in the car to pass the time . So I obliged . I admit that I relish the belly giggles my daughter gets and so it is a challenge for me to make her laugh and the lyrics that I sing can be quite nonsensical . The particular song that was on was Doc singing the virtues of eating a good diet ; " Eat good food and your body will thank you . You 're gonna love the way you feeeeel . Eat good food ! " But instead I sang , " Eat JUNK FOOD and your belly will be big . You 're not going to like the way you feel . Eat junk food ! " And then … . . well … then nothing . Just silence . A LOOOONG silence . And then Ila saying , " Turn off the music mommy . Stop singing . " I immediately did what she said out of worry and confusion . There was a little more silence then I looked in the rear view mirror and she was whispering to herself , " But my belly 's big . But my belly 's big . But my belly 's big . " She pushed down on her stomach hard and pulled the seat belt strap tight to try and flatten it . My heart broke . Into a million pieces … it broke . It happened - her first out loud moment of body hatred - just four years old . Read the rest of this entry » Most of know the movie and how cool kids had quite the air about them . Of course it 's not restricted to girls . Popularity and ' cool ' kids applies to boys too . I 've seen your children - in my classroom , on the playground , at my daughters preschool . I 've seen them shun the non - conformists , the quirky kids , the ones who may be poorer , or look different , or think different . I 've seen them . I know them . I once wanted desperately to be them ( and perhaps in retrospect WAS one of them . ) It must feel mighty comfortable there on the top . It might feel good to have the daughter who is the " it " girl or the son who 's the " it " guy . However , don 't get too comfy with your child 's top of the world status . Nope . I wouldn 't . Here 's the thing , I know something because of my mighty friend , Hindsight , that was just confirmed by scientist Joseph Allen . It might be great to be on top of the school food chain but that stature is short lived and quite often those kids deemed popular flounder as young adults because they don 't learn the highly necessary skill of learning to adapt to challenges and the constructs of real life . Read the rest of this entry » The dichotomy of feelings that come with school - free children are ones that many parents feel , including me … ESPECIALLY me . Last year , I tried to head off the dread and doom by planning , planning , planning , searching , searching , searching for fun things to keep my preschooler occupied . I began this searching / planning process in May . It was a rousing success . Summer with my posse of " things to do " went smoother , felt better , and was enjoyable . So this year , I decided that summer would be an even bigger success and much less stressful if I started planning in January . I have to say I am pretty pleased with this year 's summer ideas . I have broken them down for you into three categories as shared on my Pinterest board : Outdoor Activities , Rainy Day Activities , and Summer Day Trips . Some believe that the relationships you have with your children are the only " required " relationships , in that one must keep working on them for the rest of their lives . They are the only ones we 're not allowed to give up on . Some believe that parenting is a constant try and re - try . Some believe that a good parent is constantly evolving so that the connections we have with our sons and daughters remain strong . I disagree . Not with the sentiment that as a parent we must work and work each day at the relationships that we have with our children . Not even with the idea that we shouldn 't give up on or break up ( so to speak ) with our children . Hindsight has taught me that our connections with them must remain the most important things that we hold on to as parents . As a parent , I do believe these things to be true . What I don 't believe is the statement that your children are the ONLY relationships that one isn 't allowed to let go . I believe that marriage , one 's relationship with your child 's parent , also needs to be a priority and should be a relationship that we not only nurture , but hold on to , cherish , and work on , work on , work on . Now of course that isn 't to say that there aren 't toxic relationships ; abusive , detrimental or one - sided that must be let go of immediately . But the OTHER kind of marriage ; the - leave - the - toilet - seat - up - beer - cans - in - the - living - room - sticky - jelly - on - the - cutting - board - stop - yelling - at - me - did - you - just - flirt - with - that - waitress ? - can - we - do - something - besides - watch - tv kind of marriage must not be given up on . I believe that like the relationship you have with your children , a marriage should be a perseverance for the long haul . Read the rest of this entry » When I mothered my sons , I was consumed by it . It was my job , my calling , my duty . I let everything else go . I became mired down in the details , in doing things right and doing things wrong . Their mistakes were my mistakes . Their mountains were my mountains . Their triumphs were my triumphs . Their sadness , their anger , their tragedies ; all mine . I was their mother and that is all . I lost myself . Logan the singer was gone . Logan the writer hadn 't been born . Logan the academic hid her opinions and quest for knowledge . Logan the reader only showed up on a beach in the summer for 30 minutes while the boys were securely and happily playing with their step father . I didn 't even USE my own name . When I spoke it was in the third person . " Mommy will get you a drink . " " Don 't forget , mommy will pick you up at 5 . " " Mommy was so proud when you hit that homerun . " The woman in me wanted … longed for SOMETHING , but I thought it was a betrayal to my sons to go out and chase " my dreams . " When I had a chance to work as a staff developer for Columbia Teacher 's College , I turned it down . I couldn 't possibly uproot my boys . When someone asked me to join the community musical and try out for a lead role , I scoffed at the idea . Too much time away from my sons . Who would make them dinner . Who would make sure they did their homework . Who would intervene when the vitriol started between them . I played it safe . I was just their mom , and that 's all they ever saw me as - their mom . As my sons grew , I began to look forward to the day where they didn 't need a mommy as much and perhaps I 'd be able to become the woman that was tucked away because of and overruled by the mother in me . Read the rest of this entry » Son1 is twenty , and it 's no secret that in many ways I bumbled and fumbled my way through raising him . Just as it 's no secret that I use those bumbles and fumbles to guide my parenting decisions for his four year old sister , Ila . Looking BACK has made it easy to move FORWARD … but parenting an adult … well … once again , I find myself in unchartered territory . When it comes to knowing what 's appropriate and not appropriate , what actions stay behind the imaginary line and what actions step over that line , I have no experiences to lean on . And so , I will admit , that I 've been a bit nervous . I mean , he was a guinea pig once . I don 't want him to be one again . But believe it or not Hindsight 's wisdom DOES provide me a road map . After all , the things that make up good parenting at four , probably make up good parenting at any age . So lately , I decided to try this theory out . Could I transfer my new parenting truths when it comes to Ila and make them parenting truths for my 20 year old ? This is what I came up with : Read the rest of this entry » And then … the saddest cry in all humanity came from the depths of her . Tears swelled and cascaded down her tiny face . She cried hard … her - little - mouth - opening - with - no - sound - coming - out hard . I scooped her up and asked , " Sweetheart , what is the matter ? " Read the rest of this entry » We had the blowout of the century last week , my husband and I . The blowout of the century . The topic isn 't as important as the pure seething vitriol that came from both our mouths , flung at each other with all the might we could muster . It was a horrific display of the worst of our humanness . I had had it . He had had it . For weeks the blood boiled in both of us and reached the point where the pressure cooker burst - burst wide open . It was late at night . The dog was sleeping . The cat was sleeping . Ila was sleeping … or so I thought . The next morning , we both did our best to paste a shiny smile on our faces so that she wouldn 't suspect that our feelings for each other at that moment were less than fond ( to put it mildly ) . Although I didn 't notice then ( shame on me ) looking back now , Ila was very quiet that morning . She moved through the routine as if she was walking through molasses . The car ride to school wasn 't full of top - of - her - lungs " Frozen " songs and she was shy and clingy when it was time for me to leave her in her classroom . That afternoon , after picking her up , her tiny voice cut through the silence and pulled me from my very busy mind . " Mommy , why aren 't you married to Aidan 's daddy anymore ? " Read the rest of this entry » When Son1 was 17 he had the brilliant idea that he wanted a three person sling shot . It was made out of high tech stretchable exercise bands and was made to launch water balloons at " friends . " I immediately said no to the ludicrous idea knowing full well it wouldn 't be just water balloons that he and his friends would be launching … Nuh uh . I knew my son well enough to know that there would be lots of mischief making with a toy like that . Not surprisingly however , his father DID purchase it for him and my super mom senses were correct that he would choose to use said toy in a way that was NOT recommended … yup … that one fateful day in which he decided to put a potato in the harness that was meant for a water balloon . Yes , I said a potato . I had a day last week . BOY OH BOY did I have a day ! You know … one of THOSE days , where nothing goes right , nothing makes your child happy , and he or she whines and whines AND whines … and WHINES ! When I was in my twenties and had THESE kinds of days with the boys , I would explode , implode … lose - my - mind ! Yelling , stomping , snarling , slamming . I did it all . But now I have Hindsight and I know that what I do is what my children , in the end , will do as well . I also know that a mother who loses it in an unpredictable way will not be a human being that her children will trust and therefore they won 't come to her with problems that might in fact make her blow a gasket . These are truths that I know . The problem on THAT day last week is that as hard as I tried to remind myself of the things that I knew about anger and raising children , my body , my mind , my SOUL just wouldn 't respond appropriately . So as the day progressed and the whining got louder , more frequent and MUCHO irritating , the more I felt unable to keep the angry monster from jumping out of my throat . Even the heaviest iron boots wouldn 't keep him down . Believe me , I tried . I did everything that Dr . Speed Dial and my constant companion , Hindsight , have taught me about being a mother who wasn 't a raving maniac . I reasoned . I hugged . I ignored . I distracted . I played and played and played and played . And still … and still … she whined . She whiiiiiiiiiiiiined … Read the rest of this entry » When you read this , Valentine 's Day 2014 will be a memory , but the column was penned the week before … so bear with me . Anyways , is there ever really any BAD time to talk about love ? And truly , is there anyone more qualified to speak about this particular subject than a mother ? Although I didn 't grow up with the best model of what love is , the older I get the more chances I have had to observe those that are experts at it . Not only have I observed it , but I 've experienced great love from so many special friends and family , that it is impossible not to learn more and more each day and give it back to my children . And although I have a lot to learn about the strongest emotion in the world , I am beginning to understand the nuances of this complicated thing called love : Twenty ideas of love … She walks into the party . Her patent leather shoes shine , stockings are straight and sleek . Her hair is in a perfectly high ponytail with red grosgrain ribbon to hold it in place . When she arrives , she is happily greeted by the other children attending . They surround her . Two grab her hands and lead her to the awaiting bouncy houses . She scurries up the ramp and begins to bounce . Her laughter mixes with the laughter of her friends . Her mother is greeted by the other moms . She knows them all by their first name . She is gloriously adept at making small talk ; remembering to ask about this one 's son and that one 's husband , commenting on the fierce cold , and sharing recipes for perfect Valentine treats . She is pulled together perfectly ; jeans , boots , and long sweater . Her hair , in a high pony tail , matches her daughter . She nods her head in sympathetic agreement as she listens intently to one of the other mothers exclaiming how she would just PERISH if she wasn 't able to go out every weekend " just to get away for a bit . " Can you picture it ? I can … but that 's it . I can only PICTURE it . None of this scene has ever really happened in this girl 's world ; not last year , not last month , and not at a party last weekend … Read the rest of this entry » You did it ! ! ! It may not have been smooth sailing at times , but at least the dingy didn 't capsize ! You made it through the sleepless - nights - poopy - diapers - tantrum - throwing - potty - training years of infancy and toddler - dom . Now , you have a preschooler , and he or she can speak ! What does that mean ? All of that incessant crying to get what they want - done ! After all , you are living with a pint - sized communicator - all right - a rudimentary communicator , but at least able to say what he or she wants and needs . Now it 's going to be much easier , right ? Maybe … It really depends , because you see , those teeny humans , like any human learning a new language , may use a word or utterance in a way that it is not meant to be used . And without a translation guide , parents are … well … back in that dingy without a paddle . Luckily , not only have I unlocked the code to the top five most misused words and phrases by preschoolers , I have devised a parental action plan to take for each , and share them with you here : Top Five Most Misused Words and Phrases by Preschoolers … I teach . I have for 22 years , many grades 3rd through 8th . I parent . I have for 20 years , making ( as you know ) many mistakes along the way . I learn . I have been for many years , vowing to use hindsight as a guide to do better . I seek . Perhaps for the last three years , always on the lookout for ways to improve myself and the world around me . My trusty Doctor Speed Dial tells me that if you put all those things together , one could say that I am constructive . I like that last part . " opposed to destructive " . The phrase fits my state of mind , my evolution , and my intentions for myself , my children , and heck , for the universe itself over these past few years . I make a conscious effort to stay away from those that are destructive or mean or energy - suckers ( as my husband so eloquently puts it ) . Instead choosing to put emphasis on the good , on what could be learned in any situation , concentrating on a gratitude attitude … Read the rest of this entry » This past year , if you read all posts to my " Hindsight " column , you would have noticed a theme . At least I noticed one . Hindsight has taught me that the importance of seeing the positive , being grateful for the small stuff , and freely communicating appreciation is what being a family member is all about . I have discussed these realizations over the past year in many different ways . But this past week , or perhaps several weeks , those realizations , Hindsight 's realizations , have hit me over the head like a Christmas present full of rocks . Focusing on gratitude , appreciation , being positive aren 't actions that are reserved for your children . I mean , I have learned the hard way that they are all must do 's if you are a parent , but how about if you are a human ? Yes , I dare say that these qualities , if you choose to live in a constructive manner , must permeate all the moments of your lives and be shared with ALL loved ones , not just your children … Read the rest of this entry » Recently I had an essay published on mamalode . com and the response was a writer 's dream . My story was shared and discussed and appreciated . The most touching responses came from about two dozen or so mothers who private messaged me a thanks for telling the truth about motherhood … that sometimes it isn 't all rainbows and tulle tutus . And while these parents found refuge and comfort in my story , I also took repose in the fact that I wasn 't alone as a parent who has experienced hard times with her children . Quite often in this Facebook - Instagram - Twitter universe , parents can believe that the lives of others are so much more wonderful than the lives that their families may lead . I am truly guilty of this . If you looked upon my Facebook or Instagram page for the first time , you 'd see an idyllic daughter experiencing life in ways that make fantastic photo ops . I 've even heard whispers coming out of that small town gossip mill that I speak of often that I post WAY too many pictures of my daughter being … well … spectacular . I will cop to that . I do . I certainly do because I DO think that she is spectacular and magical , but like all other families there are moments that aren 't lollipops and lullabies and I guess I should cop to that as well . So in the spirit of full disclosure , it 's time to dispel the myth once and for all that being a parent is always and forever fulfilling and transcendent . Nope . Not in my house … Read the rest of this entry » Welcome to Hilltown Families , an online grassroots communication network for families living throughout the four counties of Western Massachusetts . Hilltown Families believes in creating resilient and sustainable communities by developing and strengthening a sense of place in our children and citizens through community - based education and engagement . We work to accomplish this by highlighting the embedded learning that is found everywhere in our communities , making the information accessible to families , and giving parents / educators access to opportunities that support their children 's interests and education while encouraging community engagement . Hilltown Families was founded in 2005 by Sienna Wildfield and is a 501 ( c ) 3 non - profit organization . ♦ en Español Established in 2005 , Hilltown Families has been supporting community - based education through community engagement for over a decade ! With your support we can continue to connect community members of all ages with learning and value - based opportunities throughout the four counties of western Massachusetts ! Make a tax - deductible donation to Hilltown Families today ! - Hilltown Families is a 501 ( c ) 3 non - profit organization . " We try to go to at least one of the Hilltown Families recommended events each weekend to keep our son experiencing new , educational , and community oriented experiences . Hilltown Families supports my interests in education through community engagement by providing a network of families with similar interests in the same area … a sense of belonging to a group that supports my goals and interests . " - Yi - Lo Yu ( Southampton , MA ) The Hilltown Family Variety Show ( HFVS ) airs Saturday mornings on Valley Free Radio , 103 . 3FM WXOJ , Northampton , MA from 9 - 10am with encores on Sunday from 7 - 8am . Playlist and podcasts are posted immediately following broadcast . Listen to our archived shows at any time : HFVS Archived Shows . © Sienna Wildfield and Hilltown Families , Inc . , 2006 - 2016 . Unauthorized use and / or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog 's author and / or owner is strictly prohibited . Excerpts and links may be used , provided that full and clear credit is given to HilltownFamilies . org with appropriate and specific direction / link to the original content . Photo use and reprint permission inquires may be sent to info @ hilltownfamilies . org . Posting a comment to Hilltown Famiies will automatically add you to the Hilltown Families mailing list to receive our weekly update . Email address are never rented or sold . To be removed from our mailing list , email info @ hilltownfamilies . org to request to be removed . Information provided on Hilltown Families ( HTF ) is for informational and entertainment purposes only . Reasonable efforts are made to provide the most accurate information , but no guarantees of any kind can be made . Information can be changed without prior notice . Please check with 3rd parties to confirm all listings for date / time , cost , location and age appropriateness before attending . Opinions expressed on HTF are that of the writer and not necessarily that of HTF . In no event shall HTF be liable ( directly or indirectly ) for any losses or damages causes ( or allegedly caused ) in connection with HTF . All health and wellness related information is for entertainment purposes only and should not be used to substitute for professional medical advice or diagnosis . All provided links are provided as a courtesy and not as an endorsement . HTF is not responsible for the content of external websites . Post was not sent - check your email addresses ! Email check failed , please try again Sorry , your blog cannot share posts by email . % d bloggers like this :
|
Slideshare uses cookies to improve functionality and performance , and to provide you with relevant advertising . If you continue browsing the site , you agree to the use of cookies on this website . See our User Agreement and Privacy Policy . Slideshare uses cookies to improve functionality and performance , and to provide you with relevant advertising . If you continue browsing the site , you agree to the use of cookies on this website . See our Privacy Policy and User Agreement for details . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins 1I coughed my last forty Euros on the ticket to Praha - Hlavní nádraží . There was nothing toexchange when I got off the train . I pulled my last eidam and butter sandwich from my pocket , and chewed on it , walking down the platform . It was early yet . Climbing the stairs , I steppedinto the main concourse . My feet hurt - blisters . I hadn 't changed my socks in days . " Prosím . Máte nějaké změny ? " An old beggar stood there with his wrinkly hand out . Hisface was gray , huddled inside the hood of his coat . He stunk like wine and looked like he hadn ' tslept in a week . " Ne , promiň . " I shook my head . " Prosim , " he said . " Jste Američan , no ? " He grabbed my arm . The old bastard wouldn 't let go . " Ne . " I jerked my arm away . He said something in Czech and grabbed hold of me . " Fuck off . " I shoved him , and he backpedaled , falling to the ground . I heard a clap on theconcrete . My phrasebook fell out of my pocket . I bent over to pick it up . When I rose , therewas a group of people circling around me and the beggar . 1 2 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " Pardon , " I said , offering my hand . I hoisted the old man up , brushed him off , and offeredhim a cigarette . He thanked me , as I lit it for him . His teeth were rotten . He blew out a yellowcloud and thanked me again . The crowd dispersed . I lit a cigarette of my own and stepped outside . People shuffled back and forth across theconcrete in front of the station . The sun beat down , but it was a brisk day . A stiff breeze blewacross Vrchlického sady , stinging my cheeks . The trees were forming the first buds of theseason . Their skeletal branches held chirping birds . I pulled my collar up around my neck andwalked across the park . Men in suits strolled along paved paths ; women pushed strollers . Bumssat huddled around the barren trees , sipping half liters of beer , laughing , coughing . My cigaretteburned down to the filter , and I flicked it across the brown grass . I had one contact in Prague . Stepping out of the park , I fell in with the foot traffic streamingdown Opletalova ulice . I nodded at a fat woman struggling to keep up with her dog . The bitterwind made my eyes water . It was only a couple blocks , I knew , having studied the map before Iboarded the train in the morning . My feet hurt . Every step made me wince . There was nothing Icould do , not till I found a place to crash , took a bath and got into some fresh clothes . At least Ididnt stink . Across Růžová , I rounded the corner and stood before a pharmacy . Four differentdoors spilled onto the sidewalk . A young guy with a bald head and a corduroy blazer swung oneof them open and stepped outside . " Dobrý den . To je Glossa . " " Second floor , " he said . He must have fingered my accent . Or maybe it was the eighty literhiking bag slung over my shoulders . I climbed the stairs and greeted the receptionist . " Dobrý den , " I said . " I 'm coming from France . I traded some emails with you a coupleweeks back . Jana told me to ask for her when I arrived in Prague . She said there would likely be 2 3 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collinssome teaching opportunities . " " What is your name ? " the blonde asked . " I 'll tell Jana you 'd like to speak with her . " " Caleb O ' Connor . " She picked up the phone and pressed a few buttons . " Ahoj , Jano , mam tady Caleb O ' Connor . " She talked some more and laughed , hanging upthe phone . I drummed my fingers across the glass countertop . " Yes , take a seat . " She extended a hand towards the couch and coffee table behind me . " Jana will be with you shortly . Can I offer you something to drink - coffee , tea ? " I eyeballed the bloke sitting on the couch . " Is that all you 've got ? " " I 'm sorry . " My comment took her by surprise . " Coffee , tea , or me , " I said . " That 's how the saying goes in America . I was wondering if Icould pass on coffee and tea . " She thought about it for a minute , and laughed . " Yes , well , I am married . " Raising her left hand , her gold ring glittered . " Take a seat andJana will be with you shortly . " I laughed . " That 's what I figured , beautiful girl like you . Can 't blame a guy for trying . Acoffee would be wonderful . " There 's a world of difference between looking for a place to stay when you have no moneyand trying to find love . The last few years had pretty well turned me off of love , anyway , so Igladly accepted my hot coffee when the blonde brought it over , and leafed through a magazineabout Czech film . I was deep into an article about noir cinema when I heard my name . 3 4 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " Caleb , I am Zuzana , the Director of Studies . Jana will meet with you tomorrow , if that ' sokay . " She brushed her brown locks over her shoulder . Slouching in my chair , she towered overme . " Right now , though , I have a pressing concern . I just had a teacher cancel . I need you tofill in for a lesson over near Florenc , if you are able . " " Yes , of course . " " Great . It 's a public class . They meet at fourteen hundred hours . If you leave now , youshould make it . " She gave me a map and sent me on my way . So much for lesson planning . I guess she tookme for a professional . I neglected to tell her I didn 't have enough money for tram fare . I didn ' tthink it would serve me well in the future , so I stood outside on the sidewalk , inspecting the map . The sun was straight overhead by now . Its blinding sheen flashed off the cobbles and storefrontwindows . The wind hadn 't let up . I took a chill . The blisters on my feet stung like hell but itwas time to start walking . Past the restaurant on the corner , I smelled schnitzels and fresh bread . My stomach growled . I didn 't know where I 'd find my next meal . The 24 train came along . Ifollowed the swarm of people , jumped on , and road away from the city - center , cars streamingby , cabs honking their horns , people on the sidewalk buying scarves , spilling out of pubs . Thetram rolled past a small Renaissance church . Its lone spire and weathered stone walls looked likethey 'd seen a thousand years . I was digging life in Prague . There for a minute and already I ' dfound work . When we rolled up to Praha Masarykovo , another railway in town , a hoard ofpeople got off the tram and two guys in drab coats boarded . I didn 't pay much attention , sittingthere , taking in the scene , beautiful buildings streaming by , until people rows ahead of me beganshuffling around and chattering . I saw the silver flash of a badge . It was time to jump . I didn ' tcare how far away the school was . It was time to go . I had no money for a fine . And I didn 't 4 5 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collinswant to go to jail . The tram kept rolling . The detectives meandered down the aisle . I lookedbehind me . Another detective was checking tickets in the back of the car . I was fucked . The oldladies rows ahead of me had their tickets out and ready . The detectives smiled . There was nostalling them . When they moved on to the students right in front of me , one of the kids got allshifty . A few kids stood up , sticking tram passes in the detectives ' faces , and talking all kinds ofshit . The cops weren 't having it . They shoved them aside and cornered the kid in front of me . They were shouting and the poor kid began shaking . His friends jumped up and swarmed thedetectives . The wheels of the tram screeched , metal whining . I got ready to spin around and boltout the side door . All the kids were screaming . The detectives sat them down . One of the copsstarted writing a ticket while the other one pressed the kid for his ID . The kid reached into hisback pocket , his face wrinkled like he would cry , when the tram pulled to rest . The othersstormed the cops and their buddy split and ran out the side door . I didn 't have the chance to getup . The others followed , stumbling over each other as they leapt onto the sidewalk . The copstook off after them . The kids scattered . People in the tram pressed up against the glass , watching the cops sprint down the street . I got off the tram at Florenc and studied my map . There would be blood when I peeled off myboots . Cars zipped by . I strolled past a few Herna bars , a shoe store , and finally made it toKarlínské náměstí . Benches lined the square . It was quiet . A couple guys were passing a bottleacross the way . I turned down Peckova ulice , overstepping piles of dog shit . A cathedral rose inthe middle of the square . Chain - linked fence guarded its stained - glass . Beer cans and brokenbottles littered the ground in front of its dingy facade . I crossed Křižíkova and looped around 5 6 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collinsbehind the church . A couple guys stood in front of a four - story building , smoking cigarettes . Istrolled up with my bag and asked if this was the language school . " This is whorehouse . You must to be fresh meat . " I lit a smoke of my own . " Fresh as it gets , " I said . " Just arrived in Prague . " " Fresh off the train , " the other guy said . " They always send us greenhorn . " I took a drag . " I been around . " " You speak Czech ? " " Mluvím trochu česky , " I said . " Ale mluvím špatně . " " Ahh , that is bull shit . You learn that from phrasebook . How you supposed to learn usanything if you don 't even know us . " " I am Russian . I give no dams . " " You shouldnt give a damn , " I said . " I can still teach you guys something even though Idon 't speak Czech . " " This is bull shit , " the smart ass said . " Class taken over first by Russian , now by greenhornAmerican . Czech history repeating itself . It is Velvet Revolution all over again . " We had a good laugh . " What are your names ? " I asked . " I 'm Caleb . " " I am Vadim , " the Russian said . " It is pleasure to meet you . " " And you ? " I asked . " What 's your name , smart ass ? " " This is Pavel , " Vadim said . " He is detective . Don 't mind him . He is just pissed hisgirlfriend fucks everyone else on police force . " I pitched my smoke aside and slapped them both on the back . 6 7 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " Well , gentlemen , I 'm your teacher for the day . Whattya say we do this ? " " Fresh off the train , " Pavel said . " We pay good money and they send us always greenhorn . " I opened the door and followed them through . Up the stairs to the third floor , I trailed theminto the classroom . It smelled like chalk dust . There were two other students sitting down : a girland another guy . I flung my bag in the corner and opened the window . " I want to get to know you all , " I said . " Take out a piece of paper . " I stole a piece from Vadim . " Now fold it in half , " I said . " And fold it again , so it stands up like a sign . " I dropped my folded piece down on my desk . " You see that ? " I asked . " Now you 've got a nametag . Write your name on the front . " I wrote in big letters , CALEB , and stood my nametag on the desk . " Now I want you to think of two adjectives that begin with the first letter of your name , anytwo adjectives that begin with the same letter , and write them down on the back of your nametag . Don 't tell anybody . Keep them a secret for now . " I wrote down my own and gave them a minute . I had to holler at Vadim and Pavel forspeaking Czech . We went around the room . Jana was joyful and jumpy . The slim guy next toher , wearing glasses , said his name was Adam . He was still thumbing through his dictionarywhen I called on him . " I am awesome . " He flipped another page , found the word he was looking for , andstraightened his glasses . " I am awesome and anxious . " " Good , now , say them with me . " I wrote the adjectives on the board . " Awesome , anxiousAdam . Joyful , jumpy Jana . How about you , Pavel ? " " I have only one . " 7 8 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " Let 's hear it . We 'll help you out . " " I am powerful . " Vadim roared with laughter . " You are pussy . " " Guys , come on , there 's a lady in the room . " " She doesn 't care , " Vadim said . " You don 't care , do you , Jana ? " " Pussy Pavel , " she said , laughing . " Powerful , pussy Pavel . " I took that for no , and wrote the words on the board . " You are bastard , Vadim . " " My name does not start with B , " Vadim said . " My name starts with V , you pussy . I amvillain . " " Villainous Vadim . " I wrote the word on the board . " What 's your other adjective , Vadim ? " " That 's all I have . I am villain . " " You are villainous , " I said . " Let 's help him out , guys . What 's another adjective ? " " You are Viagra , " Pavel said . " You have soft penis . You are Viagra Vadim . " It was no wonder they couldn 't keep a teacher around . " Villainous , Viagra - eating Vadim . " I wrote it down . " Now say them with me . " We drilledthe words . They wrote down the new vocabulary and I explained adjective endings , how to turna noun into a descriptor . " What are your words , teacher ? " " Cute Caleb . " Jana laughed . " He is crazy greenhorn , " Pavel said . " Crazy Caleb . " " I am courageous . " I went to the board . " And here 's a new one for you . I bet you 've neverheard this word . " 8 9 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins CONCUPISCENT " I am courageous , concupiscent Caleb . Say it with me . Con - cupe - ih - scent . " " What does it mean ? " Adam asked , shifting his glasses . " Look it up . " Vadim was already tearing through his dictionary . He howled , laughing , and blurted outsomething in Czech . " It means nadrženy . You want for to make sex . " " That 's close . " I laughed . " It means I am lusty . I 'm desirous . " " Jumpy Jana jump on cute Caleb . " Pavel clapped his hands . " Jumpy Jana jump for joy andmake greenhorn baby . " " All right . All right . Pipe down , you powerful pussy . We 've got work to do . " " What is this pipe down ? " Vadim asked . " I do not know . " " Exactly , " I said . " Take out another piece of paper . We 're going to learn some new phrasalverbs . " A couple hours later , I dismissed the class and stayed behind to erase the chalkboard . Janahad a couple questions about a letter she was writing for her boss . We read through the draft . Ipointed out a few errors , made some suggestions . She thanked me and left with a coy smile . Igathered my bag and flipped off the lights . When I got outside , Pavel and Vadim were smokingcigarettes . " You guys , again . Can 't I get rid of you ? " " Caleb , you must to join us , " Vadim said . " We are going for to find bitches . " 9 10 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins I pulled out a smoke . " You are , are you ? " " You said you are nadrženy , " Pavel said . " You do like bitches , no ? " " I like bitches just fine , " I said . " Let me get a light . " Vadim dug through his pocket and handed over a book of matches . " From the looks of that ring on your finger , Vadim , you already went looking for bitches onetoo many times . " I sparked my cigarette . " And what about you , Pavel , I thought you had agirlfriend ? " " Ahh , you really are greenhorn , " Pavel said . " You are in Czech Republic , man . When inPrague , do like Czechs . " " Yeah , I think I 'll pass . " I sucked down a piney drag . " Just got in town . I gotta findsomeplace to stay , get something to eat . " " You come with us , " Pavel said . " We get food at pub . You find someplace to stay later . Itis not hard . There are hostels . " " Sounds great . But I 've got no money . " " You come with me , " Vadim said . " I take you my place . I have café in Nové Město . Weserve food and drink . " " I 'll pay you once I get money for this lesson . " " I give you gratis . " Pavel growled . " Lenka will be there , no ? " " Yes , Lenka will be there . " They started arguing in Czech . Pavel stormed off . " Very well , then . We go to my place for food and drink . " I took the last drag from my smoke , nodded at Pavel , who was climbing into his car ; he 10 11 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collinsslammed the door . " What about him ? " " Never mind him , " Vadim said . " He is racist bastard . He does not like my wife . " We parked his Beamer around the corner from his place . It was a quaint café along the VltavaRiver in New Town . Before going inside , we strolled across Rašínovo nábřeží and watched theboats pass . All the old bridges sprawled over the river and off in the distance I could see PragueCastle and the rising spires of St . Vitus ' Cathedral . Buildings fronted with plaster and roofedwith red tiles stretched across the opposite bank . Vadim was standing with his back against therailing . He said he 'd inherited the property from his father , who 'd moved to Prague when Vadimwas just a young boy . He 'd lived upstairs for as long as he could remember . " U Trojická . It is called U Trojická because it is on corner of Trojická ulice . " I turned around to have a look at the place . " U Trojická , " I said . " That 's a catchy name . " " It mean place where is group of three . It be only wife and me since my father die . " The place was empty when we stepped inside . There was a band - riser by the front windows , a few booths along the wall and some tables . The Russian pulled out a stool for me at the bar . " Ahoj , Lenku , kde jsi ? " She called out to him from the kitchen in back . He went around the bar and poured two pintsof beer . " Nazdravi " He lifted his glass . " To my new friend . " We toasted glasses . There was a strange look in his eye . 11 12 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " I must to go say hi to my wife . I will get you food . Give me minutes . " He disappeared around the corner . I pulled out a cigarette and sat there smoking anddrinking my beer . I could hear them talking in back . I had no idea what they were saying butthe Russian sounded excited . He had a beaming grin on his face when he came back out . " Here is food . " He set a plate of roast duck , bread dumplings and cabbage down before me . I dug in . Hestood there sipping his beer , watching me eat . " You like food ? " he asked . " Lenka is good cook . You like ? " " Yeah , it 's tasty . " " I hope you like . " I nodded and kept eating . It was my first solid meal since leaving Paris . " What you do in Prague ? " " Teach for a while , " I said . " Till I get bored and go somewhere else . " " You like teach ? " " I like it enough . It keeps me fed . " " What else you do ? " I didn 't know what he meant . " You seem smart man , " he said . " You know business ? " " Sure , I know a little . " " I need - how you say - I need manger . " " You need manger ? " I asked . " What are you , farming sheep ? " " I need manger for my café . " " Ohh , you need a manager . " 12 13 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " Yes , manger . I need manger . Business is different these days . Many expatriates in café . You help ? " I sat back and sipped my beer . " Hey , look , I appreciate the food . But right now I need someplace to sleep and I need to getsome classes so I can get paid . " " You sleep here , " Vadim said . " You sleep in guest bedroom . We have room upstairs . Youstay with us and learn me English and do me odd jobs and keep expatriates happy at nighttime . " He gave me some more about U Trojická being the place where there are three , how he hadthis English bloke working for him a while back , and how he couldnt figure out why hed left . " You like it here , no ? " I 'd put down my third beer by then , and lit the cigar he gave me . " Listen , I 'm supposed tomeet this teaching coordinator tomorrow about work . These lessons are supposed to pay reallywell . But I 'll think about it , Vadim . I 'll definitely think about it . " She came in to clear my dishes . With her alabastrine skin and sleek black locks , she had adifferent look about her than the Czech beauties walking the sidewalk . In her eyes was a proudand damning beauty . I wanted to slap her in the face , shake her from her sleepy routine . " Meet my precious wife . " She never even glanced at me . I nodded at the Russian and puffed on my cigar as she walkedaway , and that was all . She disappeared as quickly as she 'd arrived . It was like she wasn 't eventhere . Vadim kept trying to sell me on the job for the next half hour . By the end of his spiel , Iwas out in the courtyard in back , sanding chairs so I could touch them with a fresh coat of 13 14 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collinsvarnish . " This is good , " Vadim said . " We make good business . What is last name , Caleb ? " " O ' Connor . Caleb O ' Connor . " " I am Vadim Revnik . " We shook hands and he went inside . I had a piece of plywood splayed over a couple sawhorses . I got busy sanding . From my work station , I could see her back and forth through thekitchen window . 2 14 15 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason CollinsThe place was jumping by about ten o ' clock at night . This three piece jazz band had themhowling . The tenor sax player set off on one of his runs , honking away , then he aired it out andlet the droning bass line coming through under his soft vibrato . All the while the drummer keptriding the hi - hat and laying down rim shots . People were bopping their heads to the steadythump of his bass drum . He beat the toms , rolled on the snare ; the loud crash of his splashcymbal set the sax player off . The kitchen was open for another hour . Drinks were flowing . Wewere raking it in . Vadim set me up with another tray of beer . I dropped a few frothy half - liters at the cornerbooth , penned a few lines on their tab , and walked across the room to the group of Englishblokes waving me down . " How many , fellas ? " " Better make it five , mate . " I dropped the beers down in a group . These guys had been doing some damage . I had to flipover their tab to mark their latest drinks . " Band 's killing tonight , " I said . " You guys picked a good night . You here on stag ? " " Bloody right . I 'm getting married soon as I get back to the UK . " " You 'll have to come back before you leave town . You having a good time ? " " Bloody good time , " the groom said . " A right and proper lead in to the pussy I 'm going tomunch tonight . " 15 16 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " Right and proper if you served me the right fucking food . " " Shut up and eat , you drunken bastard . " The guy across from the groom wasn 't having it . " Fuck that . This isn 't what I ordered . Where am I , Beijing ? " " Is there a problem ? " I asked . " You 're fucking right , there 's a problem . I ordered the pork and you bring me this shite . " He shoved his plate across the table . The cabbage lobbed over the edge in a soggy heap . " Well , if you didn 't order the duck , I 'll be glad to get you what you ordered . " I snatched theplate from the middle of the table . " Your next round 's on me , guys . " " Thanks , mate . " The groom gave me a nod . I set the tray of beer on the bar . The Russian shot me a weird look when I walked past . He ' dbeen setting me up with trays of food all night . Lodged behind the bar , he was the middlemanbetween his wife in the kitchen and me on the floor . I carried the plate through the swingingdoors in the back of the room . The stink of garlic and boiling fat pressed on the kitchen walls . " Roast duck . You people sure know how to make roast duck . " " What you talking , you people ? " " You and Pan Revnik , " I said . " You stuffed me full of roast duck earlier - my first meal inPrague . And now you 're sending it out to customers who didn 't even order it . " " That 's not what you meant . " " It 's like it 's your national dish . " " You think I 'm Chinese . " " No , I don 't . " " Yes , you do . You think I 'm Chinese . You come back here talking about roast duck , my 16 17 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collinsnational dish . You see my black hair , my dark skin . You think I 'm Chinese , admit it . I 'm notChinese . You want to last around here ? " " You don 't look Chinese . " " I 'm as Chinese as you are . " " You don 't look Chinese at all . Chinese women are all short with stumpy legs . They 've gotthose round heads , like bowling balls . They 're always spitting all over the place . You don ' tlook Chinese . Not at all . You 're tall , elegant . Got those long legs , Slavic cheekbones , poutylips . You don 't look Chinese at all . " " My name used to be Novatna before I got married . That sound Chinese to you ? " " Not so much . " " My father 's Czech . My mother was Vietnamese . I come from Brno . You know where thatis ? " I nodded . " Novatna , you say . Now it 's Revnikova . You have a proper name ? " " Lenka . Call me Lenka . " There was an edge in her voice . It wasn 't her dark hair , or the roast duck . It was her Russianhusband who made her feel like she wasn 't Czech . She was worried I 'd begin calling her Mrs . Revnikova , remind her that she was his . " Lenka , it is . You can call me Caleb . " She began swapping the duck on the plate with pork . Her shoulder brushed mine . I couldsmell a hint of lavender perfume . The way her shirt fell over her collarbone turned me on . Ileaned over real close , feeling the first pulse of an erection , and whispered into her ear . " Why 'd you marry that Russian , anyway ? " The gravy ladle fell from her hand splashing on the floor . 17 18 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " That is no business of yours . " " Sure , it is . " " Here 's your pork . " I thanked her and walked out . She heard what I had to say and it hit her hard . I knew sheunderstood , all right . Even if she wanted nothing to do with me , she 'd know what I was about . After hours that night , we tipped our glasses at the table in front of the bar . The Russian washappy with all the money wed made . He poured shots of Becherovka and kept the beer flowing . We picked from the spread of food in front of us : pickled herring in sour cream , slices ofcucumber and chunks of cheese . He handed me a couple thousand koruny and told me to keepthem - pocket money . He was really proud , the Russian . When the bowl of herring was empty , he thumped his fist down on the table and got all excited . " Get him food , Lenka . He work hard tonight . See you not man is hungry ? " " He knows where it is . " " Im fine . I dont think I could eat another thing . " The Russian kept at her . They were speaking Czech . I understood about every sixth wordthey said , and then gave up trying . It was about that time Lenka rolled her eyes and walked offin a huff . " You see her ? " the Russian asked . " She is malá kočka . My little bird . " " Happy marriage , " I grumbled . " You two are made for each other . " " It is happy of happy . " " Happy of happy , hah ? " 18 19 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " Yes . Happy than happy you could know . " " That sounds pretty happy . " " Happy fucking sleď . " Lenka dropped the bowl of herring on the table and fell into her chair . Her knees caved intowards each other ; her hands were draped limply over her thighs . She was a strong woman . Every inch of her breathed a vitality barely contained . I wondered how long it took the Russianto break her down . " She get angry sometime , " the Russian said . " But she is all right . My little girl . My littlekočka . " He got up and brushed her cheek on the way out . Her lips pursed , eyes closed . She lookedlike she was fighting not to turn away . The Russian walked through the kitchen . I could hear hiscreaking footsteps up the stairs . A pitiless fire burned in her eyes when she looked at me . I satthere with her , not saying a word , not moving , not till I felt a singe on my finger and had to quitlooking at her to stamp out my cigarette butt . I lit another one . She reached past her husbandspack for one of my smokes , lit it , and sat back , one leg crossed over the other , her head cocked tothe side , showing a long patch of neck , blowing lazy streams of smoke and watching it writhefrom her black fingernails to the tin ceiling . She grew bolder before my gaze . The Russian cameback with a bottle and a squeezebox slung over his neck . She didnt budge . The current ofsmoke interrupted , blown aside , she kept staring at her fingertips till the steady stream floatedskyward in fast and direct flight from our lonely tabletop . " You must to try this . " He slapped the bottle down and went behind the bar . When he came back , he filled thebottom of three glasses . 19 20 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " This is Russian wodka from homeland where was my father born . My uncle send me bottle , special . Velmi expensive . Very expensive Russian wodka . " " Ohh , no , I dont drink vodka . " " You must to try this . " He shoved the glass in my hand . " To my new friend . Nazdravi . " The vodka burned like gasoline in the pit of my stomach and I felt something come alive . My cheeks flushed . The Russian filled all three glasses . " To my little kočka . " I raised my glass and gave her a nod . She wouldnt look at me . She just gulped down hershot and dropped her arm down on the table , glass in hand , all nonchalant . The Russian pouredanother round . " To U Trojická . Place where should be - where is - three people . " He jumped from his chair . His feet shuffled along to the hoozah hoozah sounds of hissqueezebox . He started singing in Czech - in Russian , I dont know . The echo of his voiceboomed off the walls of the cafe and rang in my ears . Every once in a while , hed belt out thischorus : " To my new friend . To my little kočka . To U Trojická . To the three of us - hey ! " Thenhe was right back to the foreign tongue . I couldnt take it anymore . What came alive in me withthat first shot of vodka was crawling and scratching to get out . He must have seen it in my face . He dropped the squeezebox - it wheezed , dangling from his neck - and hoisted me up by thearm . " We go outside . Get some air . You feel like million krowns . " A halo of light from the kitchen kissed the solemn black courtyard . I walked to the edge ofits shadowy reach and sat down . 20 21 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " Just take yourself easy . You feel better . " His dark profile leaned up against the door jamb . " Ill be all right , " I said . " You guys go on up . " " Nonsense . I wait for you . We wait for you . " " Ill be up shortly . Im just going to get some air . " " Tomorrow you start me English lessons . " " You got it . " He ducked inside . The door swung clapping shut behind him . I let it all come up , a steamingpool of vodka , herring and cucumber at my feet . One of the neighbors cats rubbed against myleg , began lapping it up . I slid my chair back a ways . The lights on the second floor turned on ; the lights on the third floor followed . Their silhouettes eased by the windows . It hollowed meout watching their shadows merge . I felt like hell . The courtyard was a mess the next morning . A storm had blown through in the middle of thenight . The winds whipping down the Vltava had ripped a piece from the roof over the back door . All the chairs Id varnished and left to dry were tossed about , scratched and scuffed , plasteredwith filth , and once more in need of sanding . A tree limb had fallen . Branches lay scattered allover the ground . Chards of ceramic roofing tile stuck out of the dirt like errantly sprayedshrapnel . One of the neighbors windows had shattered - struck by another felled tree limb . Thejagged remnants shimmered in a dusty heap along the back wall . " That was crazy storm . Most bad I see in months . Thunder and lightning keep me up allnight . " 21 22 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " Yeah , it was pretty rowdy . " " What is this rowdy ? " " It means wild , crazy . " " Like my wife ? " " Sure , like your wife . " Vadim slapped me on the back . " Look at mess . We kill last night with you working floor asmanger and now I spend all money in repair . " " Yeah , its pretty bad , " I said . " You got a pair of gloves ? " " What for you need gloves ? " I took a sip of coffee . " Our English lesson 's outside today . Its time to clean this up . " We 'd reframed and reshingled the overhang in the courtyard by noon . All the branches andbrush strewn about had been raked into a pile . I ran through present continuous and pastparticiple usages while plucking pieces of tile from the fecund soil . Vadim and I strolled aroundthe courtyard , giving voice to our present actions , why we were doing them , what had happened . Through tangible movement , his English progressed faster than it ever would in a dustyclassroom . " I pick up broken glass that fall to ground when tree limb break and smash . " He threwchards of glass crashing onto our pile of inorganic waste . " I am picking up broken glass , " I said , " that fell to the ground when the tree limb smashedthe window . " Vadim growled , scooped a handful of glass , dropped it chiming onto the pile . " I am pick upbroken glass that fell to ground when tree limb broke off and smashed . " 22 23 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " Thats good , " I said . " You have any gasoline ? " He looked at me like I had two heads . " Petrol . You have petrol ? " " Ahh , mam tady petrol , " Vadim said . " I will get . But what for you need petrol ? " " Weve got to burn this brush pile . " " Yes , big fire . Big fire and it like no storm . " The Russian and I stood around the crackling brush fire , warming our workworn hands . Thegas and stillgreen branches made the fire burn all violet and orange . A thick plume of smokewrestled violently into the sky , sparks flying , before diffusing into the gray horizon . " You know youre losing money . " " How I lose money ? " I lit a cigarette . " Shouldve turned this courtyard into a beer garden by now . " Vadim shrugged off the suggestion . " I mean it . Think of all the afternoon customers you could shuffle into the cafe once theband was playing . A beer garden on the Vltava would kill . " " Beer garden is bull shit . " " All right . A beer gardens bull shit . " He left me outside sanding chairs . Half an hour later he was back out with a diagram heddrawn up . He had all these tables penciled in , and a fire pit , and overhead lighting . His wifecould see to the front room during the day and I could take care of the customers out back . Thiswould leave him free to attend to business in town . We could work on his English in theafternoon , when it was slow , and it would be business as usual at night . " Now youre talking . Theyre gonna be handing over their money . " 23 24 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " It is great idea , no ? " " It sure is , Vadim . You should get supplies , hire an electrician . Let me at it . Just think . UTrojická - jazz bar , cafe , beer garden . The place where theres three . " " U Trojická , yes . I do it today . " The big hardware depot was only twenty minutes away , in Budějovická , but the Russian dandiedhimself up like he was going to a state dinner at Prague Castle . After eating lunch , he left and Ilocked the door behind him . I grabbed our dishes and carried them into the kitchen . " How are you feeling ? " she asked . " Im doing well . " I dumped the plates rattling on the countertop . " That vodka takes getting used to . " " Not sure it was vodka made me sick . " " What was that ? " I heard the front door rattling . " Sounds like somebodys trying to get in . " She wiped her hands off on a towel . " Did Vadim lock the door ? " " I locked it . " She stepped back . Her fingers got all jittery around her waistline , her neck , till she collectedherself . The rattling stopped : whoever was pulling at the door knob left . " Were losing money . " " Who cares . " 24 25 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " Yeah , well , its not yours to lose . " She stormed past me out into the dining room . I followed her . " You closed the blinds ? " " Yeah , it got bright while we were eating . " She peeked through , apparently seeing no one at the door , and spun around . " What are youtrying to do ? " " Whattya think Im trying to do ? I moved towards her but she scurried past . She was almost in full sprint when I caught herby the booth in the back corner . " Let me go . Leave me alone . " I pressed my lips against hers . She clawed at my face and pushed me away . " Im going to tell Vadim . " I had her close , my arm around her back . I grabbed a handful of black hair and looked herstraight in the eye . Her legs kicked around me , arms flailed . Her body went soft . I let go andshe scrambled back , bracing herself against the back booths tabletop , her frock twisted over herframe . Her eyes burned with that same pitiless fire I saw the night before . I dont know who wasbreathing heavier . I reached for the back of her neck , pulled her close , and felt her legs wraparound me , drawing me near her on the tabletop . " The doors locked . Nobody can get in . " I reached under her dress , pulled off her panties . I was between her legs , my hand around herthroat . She tore at my fly . With her hand around my shaft , she drew me sliding through her wetlips , over coarse hair , and back between her soft flesh . I clutched her neck , bit her lip , and thrustdeep inside her . 25 26 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " Hit me . . . . Hit me , please . . . . Hit me . . . . Do it . " My backhand fell smack across her mouth . Her head turned sideways , hair flying . I split herlip . Her eyes raged with desire . I fucked till she cried . By the time I was done , I couldnt move . I was lightheaded , ears ringing . I fell flat on top of her . We curled up in the back booth . 3 26 27 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason CollinsI was sore for days . It didnt help that the Russian had me working like a dog , around the clock . I had the idea that he was taking it out on me , my idea for the beer garden , his wife gettingsomehow jacked in the face . The first thing was to take the swinging doors in the kitchen off thehinges and jigsaw a couple diamond - shaped windows in them , so you could see when somebodywas coming in or going out . Now with the three of us running around the place , he didnt wantanybody else getting clocked in the mug , not after seeing the way Lenkas lip bruised andswelled up . I dont know if he bought the story she fed him . She told him she went running outto the floor , hearing a customer , about the time I came running in from the courtyard for anothertrash bag . It didnt matter . Id stuffed seven hundred krowns in the drawer , like wed servedsomebody , and the only time I caught a glimpse of her in the days to follow was after hours , when wed sit around eating and drinking in the halfdark before heading upstairs for bed . It waslike my first night there . She never even looked at me . The Russian and I would sit there talkingice hockey or George Bush and Lenka , with her everburning cigarette , would sit staring at thesteady stream of smoke rising from her fingertips . In the mornings , the Russian pulled me out ofbed with a cup of coffee so I could get down to the courtyard to supervise the electrician . In three days time I sanded and varnished all the tables and chairs in the dining room . I cutplanks and framed the canopy for the string of overhead lights outback . I bolted picnic tablestogether and built a bussing station to collect beer glasses . The laidrock firepit was my favoritetouch . Id come across a pile of old roofing slate in the back corner . Around the central ring ofboulders , I laid down a slate floor that extended a couple meters out from the firepit . It was areal beauty . After Jakub , the electrician , was done late in the afternoon , hed roll a spliff andwed get high watching the days scrapwoodGreenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins That Friday , I brought Vadim out back after we locked the doors . " I want you to see this . " " I see earlier . It look good . " " It wasnt dark earlier . " " Dark , no dark , it no difference . " He must have thought I wanted a pat on the back . I made him close his eyes and draggedhim along behind me . I hit the juice , the canopy of white lights lit up the courtyard like stolenconstellations . Orange embers from that afternoons fire were still smoldering in the fire pit . " Have a look , Vadim . " I threw my arm over his shoulder . He opened his eyes and mutteredsomething in Czech . " Ive got to hand it to you , my man . Theyre gonna be begging you to taketheir money . " " Is beautiful . I make good idea , no ? " " You sure did . This beer garden was a wonderful idea . " He nodded . " I make good idea . " I slept in the next morning . My lace curtains obscured the scene outside . The buildings acrossthe river rose like a pointillistic mirage . I crossed the room and , drawing back the curtains , pulled the brass lever down . The windows eased open on their own . The cool air filled mynostrils and gave me a jolt . The sun shimmered in corrugated bands across the Vltava River , waves of gold and black rolling over each other . I caught a strong whiff of garlic and paprika : Lenka was already simmering the days goulash downstairs . My stomach growled . A womanand her dog were walking along the riverside . The dog sniffed the foot of the Staropramen 28 29 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collinsbillboard and raised its leg . I filled my lungs and closed the window . It was ten oclock . TheRussian was giving me a break . He and I must have been friends again . " Eat some strudel . " " I dont want strudel . " Vadim was sitting at the table outside my room . I took a piss and came back out to join him , eyes still heavy . He saw me yawning . " There is fresh pot of coffee . " " You know your sink upstairs is leaking into my bathroom - probably leaking into the bar . " " Why dont you fix ? " He sat flipping through the morning paper . There was a grease - smeared plate in front of himlittered with bread crusts . I pawed through the refrigerator . " Dont yall have any eggs up here ? " " I finish eggs . You must to go downstairs . " I ran down the hairpin flights of stairs dropping into the kitchen . It was the first time Idcaught her alone in days . I rushed up behind her and swung my fist into her hamstring so hardshe almost curled over . I held her up so she didnt fall . " Good morning . " " You bastard . Why are you such an animal ? " I held her in my arms . " Your English is so much better than your husbands . You could really teach him a fewthings , if you cared . " " Fuck off . " She peeled herself away . 29 30 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " How are you , Lenka ? " " How do you think ? " I tapped her cheek in play . " A lot better since Ive been here . " " I am lousy . " I stroked her cheek and kissed her bruised lip . " I just came down for a couple eggs . " I brushed hair from her face . It was my first chance to really see her wounds . The skinsurrounding her lips was turning purple to yellow . She froze before my touch . Her dark eyeswere locked on mine , but they were hesitant . Her lips twitched . " You 're beautiful . " Her expression softened . " You 're a greenhorn American . " " You havent been able to look me in the eye . " Her head fell . I stroked her cheek and kissed her on the forehead . After grabbing my eggs , Iwas gone . The beer garden was a big hit . We wrote on the chalkboard sign out front that it was open . Acouple German tourists were the first to stroll in midafternoon . A group of English teachersfollowed them . Before long they were on their cell phones , texting friends about the new spaceand telling them to come by . The British blokes I met my first night came back . Even Jakub , theelectrician , stopped by with a few of his pals . By nightfall , every picnic table outback waspacked . I got the bonfire roaring . There was a collective gasp when I flipped the switch and thecanopy of lights came alive . 30 31 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins Once the band started playing , people shuffled inside . Vadim was loving it . He pulled measide to drink a shot with him . " We make killing ! To U Trojická ! " By the end of the set , the gypsy jazz quartet was playing to a standing - room - only crowd . The Russian was drunk . He disappeared upstairs . I served the band a drink and gave them theircash . The crowd petered out . After I cut the lights out back , the last few stragglers pissed on thefire and went on their way . I locked the front door and cut the lights . I didnt much feel like sitting around drinking bymyself . I went upstairs . The light was on in my room . Lenka was in my bed . She lay on top ofthe covers fully dressed . " Wheres Vadim ? " " Upstairs sleeping . " " Thats early . " " He gets drunk every day . Saturdays are the worst . " " Arent you worried hell come down ? " He passed out , naked . He only sleeps naked when he is too drunk to find his pajamas . Hesnot going anywhere . " I killed the light and crawled in beside her . " Im exhausted . " " Me too . " " Hold me . " I nuzzled my cheek against hers and wrapped my arm around her . When I woke in themiddle of the night she was gone . 31 32 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason CollinsSome go to church : Czechs go to the beer garden on Sundays . The April sun brought them out inforce . As fast as the Russian filled up trays with beer , they were sucking them down out back . Ihad all I could do to keep up . When I ran in for my fourth tray , Vadim was sitting in the cornerbooth with some guy in a business suit . I poured the beers myself and ran them outside . Inanother minute I was back in for more . " You be busy out there . " " Youre telling me . " The suit was gone and Vadim was behind the bar . He began filling another tray . " How you say , insurance man , go to asshole ? " " Insurance man , go to asshole . " " You no understand , moj Kalebku . In Czech , we have saying , do pradele . It mean go toasshole . " " Wed say kiss my ass or suck my dick . " " I like that . Even on weekend they give no rest . Suck dick , insurance man . " " There you go , Vadim . Youre English is really coming along . " He set the last beer on the tray . " Hey , listen , I must to leave . I need you to take care forpeople inside while I am away . Is that okay ? " " You got it . " I ran the beers out to a group of college kids . The bus bucket was full ofglasses , so I lugged it into the kitchen . Lenka hovered over the countertop , her back to me , preparing food . " Its just you and me for a while . " 32 33 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " Where is Vadim ? " " He had to run to town for something . " She spun around , her head hung low . When she brushed the hair from her face , I saw shehad a black eye . I dropped the bucket of glasses chattering on the counter . " So thats what youre into ? " " You do not understand . " " Ohh , I understand . You look like a goddamned punching bag . Im down here busting myass all morning and you two are up there fucking . " " I did not have sex with him . " " What ? " " I couldnt . He wanted to . But I could not let him touch me . " " So he hit you ? " Her head fell . I crossed the room and held her in my arms . The next day , Monday , we closed up shop . The Russian told me they always took Monday offand I was exhausted . I wasnt going to argue . There was a big party the next day - somebirthday party , bridal shower , something - and he needed Lenka and me to run to town forsupplies . Once we finished breakfast , he rose up from the table and brushed her cheek , rightunder where hed cuffed her . " My little bird need to breathe air . It be good to get her out for while . " Her jaw clenched and she closed her eyes . The Russian ran his thumb over her thick lips . Arash breath shot through her nose ; her shoulders tensed . 33 34 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " This cage get small sometime and little bird have to flap wings . " He walked off , laughing . " Take car . Keys on counter . I ride train into center . See you here tonight . We drink wodka , make song . It be good time . " He rapped his knuckles on the countertop and strolled down the stairs . His whistling hungbehind him . The kitchen door swung breezing , squeaking , thud thudding footsteps . The frontdoor slammed . Lenka shivered ; her eyes shot open . " Fuck me . " " Youre crazy . Hes got you dialed like a mad woman . " " Fuck me , Caleb . " I sipped my coffee and lit a cigarette . " I need you . " " You need somebody to take you away from this Russian . " She slapped her hands down on the table . " I need you . " She came over and sat in my lap . I kept puffing on my smoke . She grabbed my head , lookedme in the eye , and got all serious . " I need you . " " You need an ice pack . You look like you went ten rounds with Tyson . " " Who is Tyson ? " " Dont worry about it . " She tugged on my hair and lifted her leg , straddling me . I could feel her pelvic bone grindingon my flesh . Clothing on skin : the friction was killing me . I was hard . I had to have her soon . " I need you . " " You dont know me . " 34 35 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " You dont know me either . " " We havent wasted much time on chit chat . " I puffed on my smoke and turned it around so she could have a drag . She ran her fingersthrough my hair and gave it another yank . " Are you going to fuck me ? " she asked . " Or would you rather talk all morning ? " My cigarette burned to nothing in the ashtray . An hour later , she and I jumped in the Russians Beamer . I slid the seat back and gotcomfortable . I half expected horrid techno music when I turned the key , but I was pleasantlysurprised by Adams Apple , old Wayne Shorter with Herbie Hancock on keys . We shot acrossthe Vltava River on Palackého most and parked near Andél . All the candles , streamers and foodwe needed were found in the few block radius of shops . It was like a different world over therein Smíchov . I felt like I was back in America walking through a shopping a mall . The sight of asecond McDonalds gave me the creeps . " We done here ? " Lenka nodded . We jumped in the car and started driving . " Turn left . " She turned down the volume of the music . " Turn left on Janáčkovo náměstí . Iwant to show you something . " We drove north along the bank of the Vltava . The grandiose walls of Prague Castle rose onthe hilltop ahead . A few spare islands cut off my view of the climbing spires and Renaissancebuildings across the river . " Turn left . Turn left here . " 35 36 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins I cut off a tram - it was close , but not that close - and we parked in what must have beenMalá Strana . " This is Petřín Hill . Come on . You are going to love this . " I slammed the car door shut . She grabbed me by the hand and led me up this sprawlingmountain , past a funicular car , along a winding path with apple trees littering the green hillside , on past a playground , the path still winding through some apple trees , the grass growing taller , until her playful steps slowed in front of a bench near the top of the hill . " Have a look . " I turned around , catching my breath , and caught view of Staré Město across the river , theglittery gold rooftop of the National Theatre , the Charles Bridge dumping hoards of tourists intothe winding streets , a thousand spires rising amongst the red - tiled roofs , their copper tarnishedpallid green through the centuries . " Thats Frank Gehrys Dancing House , no ? " Lenka traced the line of my finger down the river . " It is . And take a look at the giant metronome on Letna . " She pointed north . From atop thehill overlooking the river , a needle fifteen meters in length tic - tocked back and forth through theafternoon sky . " There used to be a huge statue of Stalin on that hill but they knocked it down . " Across the lush orchard to my left , Prague Castle rose like a parapet supporting the toweringspires of St . Vitus Cathedral . The cathedrals flying buttresses and gothic arches cradledimmensed stained - glass windows : dull distant jewels , radiating . " I need to sit down . " " Here , have a seat . " She guided me to the bench and there we sat looking over the city . I squeezed her thigh ; her 36 37 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collinsfingers locked with mine . " You dont see this in America , do you ? " " This is better than Paris . " I leaned over and gave her a kiss . Before I knew it , she was on top of me on that park bench . The cityscape disappearing behind her curtain of black hair . There I was smelling the lavenderon her neck , the fresh grass , her thighs wrapped round my hips . Our lips were gliding over eachothers , tongues dancing . I had my hand up her shirt , and she was peeling off my belt , when Iheard scuffling footsteps up the hill . " Náhradní každou změnu ? Mají cigaretu ? " A beggar strolled up near our bench . Lenka howled and swung at him till she almost fellbackwards . I had to grab hold of her to keep her steady . The old man walked off . " I cant go on like this . " She straightened her clothes and dropped on the bench beside me ; tucked under my arm , she stroked my chest . " I know . We should go back to U Trojická . " " I cant go on like this . Me and you . " " Go on like what ? " " All this running around , hiding . " " Then weve got one choice . " " Whats that ? " " You and me - we take off . " " I cant leave . " " Sure , you can . We can leave this afternoon . " " And go where ? " 37 38 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " Anywhere . I came here from Paris . Lets go to France . " " Its not that easy . " " Easy as packing a bag . " " Maybe for you , " she said . " You pick up that duffle bag and go wherever you want . But itsnot that easy for me . You dont know me . " Her hardness cracked , and like a little girl she started crying . " I know you . I know what its like to be lonely when youre with other people . " " You dont know anything . " " Well , you 're right . I dont know why you married that Russian . She sniffled and wiped the tears from her cheeks . " I was working in a massage parlor onWenceslas Square . You know the kind . A year in a place like that and you take the first offeryou got . " " When did you leave Brno ? " " Four years ago . I got here and the only job I could get with my slanty eyes and dark skinwas in that massage parlor . " " So why didnt you go home . " " And do what ? " " Youre telling me the Czechs are that racist ? " She nodded . Not like she was pissed off ; she nodded like somebody asked her if the sunshines and it gets dark at night . " This is a small county where no one could travel for fifty years . They hate Russians , want your greenhorn money , and despise anyone who does not look likethem . " " All the more reason to get you out of here . " 38 39 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " And go where ? " " Anywhere . " " You know where anywhere is ? " " You tell me . " " Anywhere is the massage parlor , " she said . " Anywhere with my Czech passport is rightback to those dark rooms with drunken tourists and their boozy dicks . " " Never again . " " Anywhere is the massage parlor , Caleb . You think youre going to support us both teachingEnglish ? " " Well get married . You can find work with an American passport . " " Hell never give me a divorce . Dont you understand ? " She shook her head . " I cannot getmarried with him around . You must leave . " " I cant leave . I love you . " " I love you , too . And you must go . Its too much . Its torture having you around . Unless - " That pitiless fire was back in her eyes . " Take a look at this . Isnt this beautiful ? " I drew a deep breath , and sighed . " I cant live mylife behind bars . " " You don 't know what its like to live with that Russian . " " I have some idea . " " You know what its like to breathe vodka every night ? You know what its like to fuck whenhe says he wants to fuck , or get slapped around ? " I brushed hair from her face , tucked it behind her ear , and stroked her cheek . She was tooproud to hide her bruised eye from me . " I love you , Lenka . " 39 40 . Greenhorn Crazy Caleb Jason Collins " I love you . Dont leave . Dont ever leave . I need you , Caleb . " " I 'm not going anywhere . Right now what you and I need is to get our asses back . Its timeto drink wodka and make song . " " Im not leaving till you give me a proper kiss . I planted one on her lips . " That do it for you ? " " For now . " I hoisted her up . " Come on , lets get out of here . " 40 Recommended
|
Yuu wakes up and Villager greets her . He 's glad that Yuu has some faint recognition of him since he has met her several times before already …… he recalls how one day he dropped his sickle in a nearby lake while gathering herbs . This caused the god of the world , or so he claimed to be , to appear and asked if he dropped the golden , silver or wooden bug . ( Note : Bug refers to game bug / error . ) The god appeared to be satisfied with his random answer , golden bug , and agreed to grant his wish if Villager continuously prayed to the lake . Villager did as told and on the 100th day , Yuu appeared before him . So he believes that the god granted his wish . Before Villager can take Yuu back home , Slime appears to suck away his HP lol . He sticks himself onto Yuu , while giving a similar story to Villager 's . He adds that the god granted him human form , so as to first prove that he was truly the god of this world . It doesn 't take long for Dark Lord to appear , though Villager and Slime take a while to notice his presence . As they wonder how he got here , he weakly admits that he can no longer use his dragon after losing that last battle - so he had to walk here lol . He painfully recalls how Yuu grinded so much , to the point of preparing equipment which tackled his weaknesses - that he was wiped out by her in a single blow . His only motivation after that humiliation was to have a rematch with her , so he made the same deal with the god - after dropping his pride in the lake . Dark Knight makes his appearance last , chasing the Dark Lord away from Yuu . He was once under the Dark Lord , but betrayed him to join her side . He asks if she remembers fighting by his side , while adding that he spent most of his time in the horse carriage though . In order to travel by her side properly this time , he made the same wish to god as the rest for the past 100 days . Unlike the rest though , the god had asked if he dropped his golden / silver / wooden pearl …… ( this is a crude play of words in Japanese ) . After this , Yuu meets the said god . He explains that she 's been pulled into the world of Unlimited Quest , the rpg game she was once so engrossed in , thanks to a game bug . Not even the game developers can debug it . He isn 't so sure on how to return her back to her own world , but thinks that playing the game one more time would do the trick . He does know that everyone has their own reasons for wanting to meet her again . The god recalls how previously , Yuu was only focused on clearing the game and ignored all the side quests . He thinks that it would be good for her to take the time to enjoy the game and journey more thoroughly this time . And so Yuu is forced to form a party with these 4 characters . Before they set off though , Dark Lord and Dark Knight point out how thin her armour is and start to inspect her . They harass her , waiting for Yuu to lash out her best attack on them , while Villager and Slime watch on . It takes them forever to realise that Yuu is just a normal girl , and they wonder how they can fulfill their wish like this . Villager and Slime though , don 't mind as much since they just wanted to see Yuu once again . Eventually , everyone makes their way to Villager 's house for Yuu to check their statuses . Dark Lord has the same status since the time she defeated him . His special and final transformation skill has been locked and he can no longer use it anymore . In fact , before he could unleash that third and last transformation Yuu had wiped him out . As for Dark Knight , after she had defeated him by right there should be a flag for him to betray Dark Lord and join her party . But that game movie would only play if Yuu had rested for the day . Instead , she continued to level up till her whole party 's levels were nearly maxed out . So by the time she noticed the movie and he joined them he was much weaker than everyone else . And so he ended up not being used in her party at all and remained inside the horse carriage the whole time , only eating the red bean bun ( anpan ) she would feed everyone every day . Thanks to that , the members kept teasing him with the nicknames " the sweet bean paste - eating knight " or " the knight with sweet bean paste presence " ( this is a play on the words Dark Knight ( ankokukishi ) and anpan ) . Thanks to that , he never ventured out on the sub - quest of searching for his sister 's soul , in which he would play the lead . Next is Villager who , um , has no skills whatsoever to speak of . If any , perhaps it 's his ability to blend into any street . As for Slime , there 's nothing much to except that he clings to Yuu whenever possible so as to " merge into one " . Dark Knight quickly separates them though , remarking that such single - cell organisms only have one thought in mind . In any case , Yuu has to choose to do one of their quests . >> Slime : Happy that she chose him , Slime leads everyone to his love nest home - a cave near the lake . On the way , they recall how Yuu massacred thousands of Slime so as to gain money and experience points . Slime delightfully expresses how they did meet over a thousand times , so perhaps they 're tied by a red string of fate pfft . In the cave , Slime explains how Yuu kept meeting him over and over at the same of the game . But as she levelled up , she no longer cared to bother with him . She even got tired of battling him , and started to use an item to drive away weak monsters like himself so he could no longer approach her . No longer want to experience those lonely days and to always be with Yuu , Slime declares that they should " become one " - literally . While the rest look on in embarrassment at first , they start to sense a thickening presence . Meanwhile , Yuu pulls away from Slime as she 's faced with a multitude of Slime beings - literally . As Yuu is engulfed in Slime , Dark Lord unleashes his best magic attack to free her . Though she 's safe now , thanks to Slime her clothes have been pretty disintegrated so Dark Lord passes her his cloak . Slime is upset at everyone interfering , but they explain to him that he can 't " become one and multiply " with a human being like Slime do . ( Though Villager adds that it can be done another way lmao . ) Yuu will only end up dying . In the end , Slime promises not to do it again but asks to only remain by her side . >> Dark Knight : On the way , Dark Lord and Dark Knight are at odds due to the latter 's betrayal . Dark Knight explains that his final goal was not to serve Dark Lord anyway , but to resurrect his sister . His sister fell in love at first sight for a vampire , and not only was her soul taken away , but her body too . He 'd managed to retrieve her body but her soul was already gone . Naturally it was impossible to revive her at the church , but he heard of a rumour : there was a magic item which could call back the souls of dead ones and revive them in Dark Lord 's castle . So going there to serve Dark Lord was his only choice . Then , he came to know that there was already a quest in which he 'll go retrieve the item - he just needed to wait for Yuu 's main party to come and welcome him in . Yet Yuu didn 't do so at all . She ignored his scenario and only focused on levelling up . And by the time she did do so , his level was much lower than everyone else 's . He was stuck in the horse carriage the whole time and she ended the game without going through his quest at all . As Dark Knight blames Yuu for being unable to revive his sister , Dark Lord and Slime are unable to calm him down . Villager mentions that since Yuu already cleared the game once and they have Dark Lord with them , they should be able to finish this quest easily . However , Dark Lord knows nothing of this item . Dark Knight recalls that he heard that the Vampire Queen has the item - in fact , he 's already led them to her mansion . The door opens by itself , and they hear the Vampire Queen welcoming them inside . As they prepare to head inside , Dark Lord warns everyone that there will be loads of traps inside . Villager suggests holding hands so that they don 't get lost pfft . Dark Knight embarrassingly tells everyone to mind their own backs , but takes Yuu 's hand as he will look out for her . Inside , Yuu nearly gets caught in one and Dark Knight comes to her rescue . He gets embarrassed later at their close contact , while the rest watch on and Dark Lord takes note that women are Dark Knight 's weakness lol . Vampire Queen soon makes her appearance , and targets Yuu , wanting to drink her blood . Dark Knight quickly protects her , and they do their best to defeat the queen . Dark Lord 's offensive magic is ineffective against her , so he focuses on defence while leaving the offence to Dark Knight . However , the queen reminds Dark Knight that his special attacks are just as ineffective as Dark Lord 's as of now . As the queen grabs ahold of Yuu , she reveals that she was the one who sucked Dark Knight 's sister 's blood and made her a lifeless doll . Yuu will have the same fate as her at this rate . Dark Knight protects Yuu by sacrificing himself , and all of a sudden a bright light appears and causes the queen to burn . Dark Lord recognises that ' cos Dark Knight sacrificed himself for Yuu , he 's returned to the right path and is now a righteous knight . He tells Dark Knight to use his special attack once more . After he defeats the Vampire Queen , a small ball appears . But Dark Lord checks it , and says that rather than reviving the person it is used to control a dead person 's body like a doll . He guesses that the rumour was deliberately spread , so that people who believed it would come here and in the end the queen would suck their blood . But Dark Knight refuses to give up hope . After all , they 've just started their second playthrough . Up till now , he has only lived for the sake of regaining his pride and sister . But after meeting Yuu , he has also learnt the joy of stepping on a new path . He 's sure that his sister will be happy to see him like this . He thanks Yuu and hugs her , much to her embarrassment . Dark Knight adds that he has also regained his clear and righteous spirit . Today would mark the start of that , and he 'd like Yuu to be by his side . As the rest watch on , they observe that Dark Knight 's character seems to have changed completely after being awakened to justice . They interrupt the scene and decide to head to Dark Lord 's castle to rest . Dark Knight still hasn 't said his full lines , but Villager replies that they 'll just skip it all lol . >> Dark Lord : While Dark Knight can 't understand why Yuu chose this quest , Dark Lord is thankful to her . But unlike the last time where she kept skipping through all his lines and scenes , this time he 'll make sure that everything is played out including his CG and his last transformation . As he cackles … evilly , the rest note that it 's the monster SFX playing again - he has no regard for the budget costs lol . Dark Knight adds that he 's changed a lot after he left his side . Dark Lord quickly checks to see if the hero party is at his castle only to realise that since this is a new game they 've inherited their stats from the last time ! That includes maximum levels , the finest armour and access to all the skills . In this case things won 't be different from the previous time lol . So Dark Lord has the idea of Yuu levelling him up too . It would take a while if they do it the usual way , so he considers gaining a rare magic item for him to level up easily . Since he 's the last boss in this game , naturally it would be in his castle so everyone heads there . Dark Lord explains that after defeating him , a passageway to a hidden dungeon would be opened up where the magic item lies , left behind by the previous king . Since he has already been defeated , the dungeon is open already pfft . By right , a movie about the dungeon would play if you save after ending the game - but apparently Yuu skipped that too . In any case , since the dungeon is on his grounds Dark Lord should be able to just take the item easily . However , when they enter the traps start setting off and monsters start appearing . While the rest do their best to cope with it all , Dark Lord remains in shock . He soon questions for the reason , and the monsters claim that they 've been deceived as they see him together with the very girl who defeated him . They refuse to listen to his explanation and continue attacking , so they decide to escape for now . They escape temporarily to another room , and try to come up with a solution . They conclude that the monsters no longer approve Dark Lord as their master as he lacks dignity now . Hearing this , Dark Lord decides to unleash his final mode though he was planning on leaving it for the revenge battle . By right it would unlock when there 's blood from the hero party . For now he has no choice but to help himself to Yuu 's blood . At that moment , the monsters catch up to them and black smoke encircles Dark Lord - he 's now in his final mode and he demands the monsters to retreat for their master has returned . They obey , and the traps are destroyed automatically as Dark Lord walks pass . The rest follow behind him , while Dark Lord is overflowing with confidence . They go to retrieve the magic item , which is in the form of a strawberry . Dark Lord helps himself to it , and he 's filled with more power - though the rest notice that it 's only an additional 100 but they decide not to tell him lest he gets further depressed lol . Dark Lord thanks Yuu since it was thanks to her , that he was able to retrieve the item . He believes that the day he wish gets fulfilled is near . >> Villager : Dark Lord stops everyone from setting off as he double - checks what Villager 's wish is . After all , if it 's just to meet Yuu then it 's already been fulfilled . Yet there isn 't any change . Villager replies that he hasn 't done anything after all , which causes Dark Lord to question what his real wish is then . Villager panics and says that he 'll think about it thoroughly tonight and asks the rest to stay for the night . He 'll immediately prepare dinner for them . The rest agree as Villager prepares dinner and mutters that in order for his wish to be fulfilled … there will need to be lots of preparation . The next morning , everyone wakes up and discovers Yuu 's … embarrassingly revealing sleeping posture . When Yuu finally wakes up , she gets embarrassed and hits Dark Knight and Dark Lord - despite the fact that it was Slime who removed her blanket lol . Putting that aside , Villager finally knows his wish as he explains that his village is in a bit of trouble and he 'd like for them to help . They agree and follow him out . But as they keep on walking , Slime remarks that it 's weird for his village to be so far from his own house . Hearing this , Villager exclaims that he forgot an item and asks Slime to retrieve it for him . When Dark Knight asks for the details , Villager points out that they 've arrived and says that he 'll explain there . Strangely , there 's no sign of any people there so they tell Yuu to hide behind Villager . As the rest voice their suspicions , Villager attempts to explain that everyone is probably in the village elder 's house as he didn 't want to alarm them with their presence . He asks for Dark Knight to call out the village elder , while they head to the pub . All of a sudden , they hear Dark Knight 's scream and Dark Lord also wonders why Slime is taking so long . Villager mutters that they 're all monsters after all but later reassures Dark Lord that they 'll meet very soon . He knocks out the Dark Lord , leaving only himself and Yuu . He hugs Yuu tightly , and reveals that his wish is to always be by her side - even if it means giving up everything . Villager prepares for the last step , as he casts a last spell and brings Yuu to a world of their own , literally . There 's nothing special about it , just like Villager himself . But at the same time he can change it as he likes . He explains that he 'd always wanted her to recognise his existence - so he created a world just for them . As he laughs creepily , Villager adds that Yuu can 't go anywhere else , and no one else can come here . In fact , he doesn 't even have a name . He 's merely an existence to give medicinal herbs away . When she started the game , they did talk a few times but he could only say his set lines . Still he was happy just to be able to converse with Yuu , and gradually he fell in love with her . After all , all the villagers in all the towns she travelled to - were all him . He started to want to go adventuring with her , and so he constantly waited for her to notice him in the next town . Yet when she was near the end of her adventure she didn 't bother to talk to any of the villagers anymore since they only say the same lines over and over again . All he wanted was to be noticed , yet she ignored him - since he had neither a name , personality or backstory like her party members did . He was just an empty mob character which she kept ignoring despite the fact that he loved her the most . And so he decided to create this world where she will recognise just him . He 's now no longer a villager which can be found everywhere , but the one and only villager that exists in this world for her . Villager kisses her , telling her not to resist since they 're going to be together forever now . Just then , the rest of the members break in thanks to Dark Lord 's powers . They get Yuu to hide behind them , while they confront Villager . However , none of their attacks work on him . The latter explains that since he has no fixed setting , he can freely change the world and himself to his liking . Villager 's hair and eye colours have now changed , as he adds that he didn 't realise this at first . But when he started to act on his own will despite having no role , the world started to change . He could now change anything - his job , personality , status . The rest check his status , and realise that it 's true - his stats are now all maxed and all attacks are ineffective against him . Since he isn 't bound to any fixed settings , he 's also omnipotent . He decides to change his name to Last Boss , an unique and invincible existence - which naturally deals a shock to Dark Lord . Yuu rushes to Villager 's side , and confirms that he did everything for her . All he needs now is for her to recognise him . Yuu reaffirms this , and agrees to go with him . Villager is delighted that his wish is finally fulfilled , and leans in to kiss her . Out of the blue , everything goes dark and they find themselves back in the village . Villager eventually realises that ' cos his wish was fulfilled , the power he gained to fulfill it is now gone . Hearing this , Dark Lord prepares for payback time but Yuu stops him . Instead , Villager breaks down crying and Yuu comforts him . She 's willing to forgive him , and reassures him that he was useful to her back then with his information . Happy to hear this , Villager declares that he 'll aim to become a villager with just as much presence as a main character . The other villagers start to appear , so they decide to retreat . They call the quest a close and head to Dark Lord 's castle to further discuss things . That being said , they don 't feel like doing anything else for the day . Dark Lord decides to hold a banquet and tells them to rest till then . He even has the V . I . P . room prepared for Yuu , while Villager laments at how he 's supposed to be a threatening existence to the world 's peace . Later on , Dark Lord finds Yuu wandering around . He guesses that she merely wants to return home . After they 'd finished their quest earlier , he went to check if there were any changes at the lake - there were none though . Still , he feels as though the day she returns seems near . He won 't let her run away till he has that final showdown though . Dark Lord tells her to come in for the banquet , and when everyone has gathered he starts doing a mike test , of sorts lol . He starts to introduce all the dishes in a menacing manner , giving them names like " The queer fish 's tour of hell " , " The churchman who drowned in a sea of milk " or " Strawberries crushed to death " . But the dishes are all actually quite regular stuff like strawberry millefeuille pfft . While Dark Knight and Villager get rather drunk , Dark Lord starts bragging about the quality of the food he always has to prepare himself for battle - but gets depressed when he 's reminded of his quick defeat despite that too . Meanwhile , Yuu pulls away from Slime 's tight grip which upsets him , as he remarks that tonight might be the last night she 's here . Still , he 's happy that he got to meet her again . Yuu refuses to let him stick to her again . A drunk Dark Knight is prompted to interfere , as he warns Slime again . He soon falls asleep though , and Slime decides to retire for the night too . A maid informs Yuu that Dark Lord has cried himself to sleep too , and offers to see her back to her room . On the way there , the maid remarks that everyone will surely feel lonely to part ways with her . It 's the first time she 's seen Dark Lord have so much fun , since he lost the battle . And it 's the first time Dark Knight has passed out drunk , and for Slime to have such a serious expression - she doesn 't know much about Villager though . She advises Yuu to not regret anything when the time to part comes . Before leaving , the maid informs Yuu that there 's an onsen below too . When Yuu goes into her room , the maid transform into god who says that he 's given all the advice he can already . The rest is up to her . As Yuu soaks in the water , she suddenly hears Villager 's voice . He 's surprised to see her here , and quickly goes to one side - but he has second thoughts and thinks that it 's alright just to peek a bit . Yuu doesn 't give him any chance though , and chases him away . Villager quickly apologises , and says that he only came to refresh himself from all that alcohol . He also couldn 't sleep as the thought that they 're going to part ways soon came into his mind . Though he wants to always be with her , he doesn 't want to make her sad either and tells Yuu not to force herself . After all , he likes her smile the most . Villager quickly excuses himself , and leaves . The next day , everyone is up pretty early as they couldn 't really sleep . As they discuss what 's next , they eventually come to the conclusion that it 's time to say goodbye . Though the party will be dispersed , it also means that a new journey is awaiting Yuu . They comfort Yuu and cheer her up . All of a sudden , a bright light encircles Yuu and lifts her up . Taken aback by this , Dark Lord , Dark Knight and Slime do their best to bring Yuu back to their side . But nothing works , and they can only resign themselves to the fact that they can 't go against god 's wishes . They 're shocked when Villager changes from his usual self , overflowing with power . Villager remarks that he won 't let god have his way , and will make Yuu remain here . He adds that he 's an unique existence in this game , the last boss - which surprises Dark Lord lol . Villager corrects himself , saying that his powers to govern all creations surpasses god 's . His powers drive away the light , and Yuu lands safely with Slime 's help . A relieved villager 's appearances change back to normal , while Dark Lord is speechless to the fact that he 's more powerful than himself . The members are back as a party , since it 's that person 's wish after all . He doesn 't think that Yuu an return while things remain that way . As Villager looks at them , Dark Knight stiffens and addresses him as " Last Boss - sama " lol . As Villager wonders what quest they should do next , he quickly adds that he won 't allow Yuu to return home . He reassures her that she can still live happily in this world with him , while laughing . Dark Lord can 't help but mutter that he 's scary . Since there 's no opinion , Villager decides to go hunting after dragons and leads the way . Normal End : Slime 's narration follows , as he says that god is too mean . By changing him into human form and meeting Yuu , it 's more painful when they have to separate - as opposed to always being unable to see her . So he decided to confront god , despite knowing that he isn 't that powerful . Yuu wakes up in the cave , and is disorientated . Slime explains that he did his best to have her stay behind , but when he did so she remained unconscious . So he had to carry her back here in his original form . Everyone says that they can 't be together as they 're different … species , but he 's happy to hear that she wants to remain with her . After all , someone once said that love can make the impossible possible . So surely one day they 'll both um , melt and become one - and then they 'll really be together till death . He suggests going out to travel , to find an item to help them do just that . While Yuu is hesitant , Slime takes it that she 's reluctant to leave the cave as it 's too comfortable - he thinks that she 's starting to become slime like him . / o \ He reassures her that it 'll be alright to go out anyway , as he 'll protect her . He 'll take responsibility for making her stay behind in this world . As Yuu feels sleepy , Slime lets her rest on his lap and tells her to sleep . He 's more than happy wait for her to wake up , as his wish has finally been granted . Good End : Slime 's narration follows , as he says that he loves Yuu a lot to the point that he changed into human form . So he definitely didn 't want to part ways from her , and instead he followed her back - now she can 't abandon him anymore . Slime is bored but Yuu refuses to answer him , and continues studying . He uses his last resort , and sticks closely to her . If she doesn 't start to play with him , her clothes will start to disintegrate . Yuu immediately goes to retrieve the blow dryer , and aims it at Slime lol . Slime immediately apologises and releases her . He plans to go reflect on himself in the bathroom , but Yuu quickly stops him says that she won 't hate him . Instead , she 'd like him to bear with it a bit more till she finishes studying . Slime happily obliges , and changes so that they can go out to the aquarium later . Slime is delighted at the aquarium , though the atmosphere makes him want to … do stuff with Yuu too lol . Yuu firmly refuses , so he gives up . But in return , he sneaks a kiss . When she gets mad , he kisses her as a form of apology , and says that he 'll keep doing so till she forgives him pfft . Normal End : Dark Knight 's narration follows , as he recalls how much fear he felt when he saw Yuu being engulfed in that light . Somewhere along the way , Yuu became an important existence to him and he realised that he still had the capacity to love someone . He felt that he didn 't want to lose Yuu no matter what . Dark Knight isn 't so sure what happened after that as they uncovered a new hidden stage on the day he made Yuu stay behind . Perhaps it was all already planned by god , or perhaps it 's another bug . In any case , they plan to head out to check it out tomorrow . He asks if Yuu 's afraid , and adds that he 's happy to be able to travel with her . Despite him being the one who made her stay behind , she doesn 't blame him and he 's thankful for that . By right he should let her go already , as he 's travelling to search for a way to revive his sister and it has nothing to do with Yuu . Still , he can 't do so . Yuu doesn 't mind this , and so Dark Knight swears to protect her till the last moment . Ever since he met her , he 's been cleansed by her . To him , she 's like the light . Yuu gets embarrassed by his words , which causes him to blush too . However , he states that those were his honest words . As they look out to the sea , Dark Knight remarks that their future lies ahead of them . He 's happy to be able to embark on this future together with her . There 's no telling what 's ahead , perhaps they 'll even find themselves in her world . He 's filled with anticipation at the thought of that . It would even be a miracle if they are able to travel between their worlds . Of course , what 's most important is that she 's by his side . Good End : Dark Knight 's narration follows , his only wish was to revive his dead sister . That 's why he joined Dark Lord 's side , even if that meant betraying his sister and his own beliefs . But after meeting Yuu , he realised that losing her would prove to be even greater despair as compared to losing his sister . So he came to the resolution that no matter how much humiliation he 'll have to put up with , he 'll choose to be with her . In Yuu 's room , Dark Knight is seen trying to write a resume as he wants to find a job here asap . He doesn 't want to keep being under her care , but at the same time he 's failed to secure a job till now . He wonders if he 's being branded an a useless character in this world too . Yuu immediately denies this , which makes him feel better . As Yuu looks through his resume , she tries to get him to change the " special skills " he wrote as they are all RPG ones lmao . Other areas she gets him to change include his name , past jobs … by the way , his country is written as 8 - bit country and his university is DotKare university ahaha . Thankful to her , Dark Knight remarks that she 's like a sage to him in this world . But of course , she 's the one he loves too and if he 's with her , he 'll overcome all obstacles . He reassures Yuu that he isn 't pushing himself , and tells her to continue watching over him with that smile of hers . He gets ready to go out to get a new form , and asks for a kiss before he leaves . He 'll leave the rest for when he returns . Normal End : Dark Lord 's narration follows , as he attempts to explain that since he 's role is an evil one it 's only natural that he 'll stop her from returning back to her world . But he soon apologises and admits that he was merely scared of losing her . In his castle , Dark Lord announces the start of the meeting on how to defeat the hero party but Yuu wants to sleep instead since he didn 't let her sleep much last night pfft . This embarrasses Dark Lord , as he tells her that others will misunderstand . But then he thinks that considering his position , it 's better for people to see him as a kichiku rather than a hetare who can 't even lay hands on a woman . So he tries to act as such , but Yuu merely yawns in return adding that it 's ' cos he kept her up all night with his teary complaints pfft . Unable to take any more of Yuu 's words , Dark Lord reminds her that though she did level up the hero party to the max it isn 't the same for herself . In other words , she herself is much weaker than him . He threatens to lash out all of his grudges right now , but says that he 's only joking . In fact , he 'd rather protect her . Seeing her surprised face , Dark Lord states that he can 't always be the hetare and will also have to take responsibility for making her stay . He believes that he will change if she remains by his side , due to his desire to protect her . He 'll become strong for sure , and won 't let anyone else have her . He plans to let Yuu know just how important she is to him , as he hugs her . He teases Yuu as he says that he 's found her weakness , and thinks that it isn 't bad for his character to become a sadistic Dark Lord . In fact , they should rewrite the ending as the Dark Lord regaining his confidence and awakening to his sadistic side , who ends up living happily ever after with the girl from another world . His own story starts from this moment . Good End : Dark Lord 's narration follows , as he states that by right they 're enemies . Yet they ended up travelling together due to god 's willfulness . But he 's thankful to that as he was able to find what was most important to him . In order not to lose her , he willingly gave up everything and followed Yuu to her world . In her room , Dark Lord is seen doing online shopping as he mutters that it 's convenient but hard to judge the quality of the items like this . When Yuu asks what he 's doing , he explains that he 's shopping for wool as he plans to knit a dress for her next . Seeing her surprised face , Dark Lord remarks that he 'd wanted to see that expression during their last battle . He starts to get depressed as he recalls it all again , but stops himself midway as he says that he overcame that trauma to be with her after all . In any case , it 's good that his skill now comes handy . He adds that ' cos he was bored to death waiting for her party to arrive at his castle he ended up knitting . But now his goods are receiving praise in the knitwear magazines and people even contacted him to do a book on it . Dark Lord states that considering his position he needs to be good in everything anyway , but once again he recalls that bitter memory before stopping himself midway . He tries to think positively , and remarks that he should have a bright future here in knitwear . In that case , he won 't be humiliated anymore and will even be able to take care of her . He suddenly nears Yuu , as he claims that he 's confirming her sizes for the dress he 's making . He remarks that it 's a symbol of his love for her , so she should respond appropriately . However , Yuu gets embarrassed and hits him at his critical spot lol . Dark Lord starts to sink in self - depression , and Yuu tries to comfort him as she says that she has a present for him too . It 's a knitwear , but Dark Lord is unable to pinpoint what it is due to its weird shape which saddens Yuu . Eventually , she explains that it 's a hat for him to cover his horns . He expresses his happiness , and says that he 'll wear it now and change into the clothes she got for him so that he can head out to buy wool . After changing , he wonders what magic she cast on him as he feels warm inside just like this . As he kisses Yuu , he says that he 'll have to cast his own magic on her too , so that she doesn 't leave his side - not till he does a wedding dress for her . Normal End : Villager 's narration follows , as he recalls on how he 's a mere villager no powers . So he could only resign himself to the fact that he can 't do anything if she doesn 't look at him , or if she gives up on the game . But in fact he had a surprising power , as he managed to make her stay behind in this world . Though it appears that he used it all up when doing so , he 's satisfied as long as she 's with him - since he would no longer need it . Villager suggests a break from gathering medicinal herbs . He tells Yuu that there 's no need to work so hard , since it 'll be thrown away anyway - no one bothers with an item which can only heal 50 HP now . Seeing Yuu 's disappointed face , he tries to cheer her up . When she questions why he continues gathering them then , Villager explains that he has nothing else to do so he 'd rather come out to gather herbs as opposed to staying at home . It 's more fun now that she 's with him . He recalls that the lake is nearby and suggests going there . But Villager quickly retracts his invitation as he 's worried that something may happen to her . He apologises since having her stay behind was all his doing , but Yuu only pats his head . With renewed resolution , Villager decides to go to the lake after all . After all , true love is to let the one you love do what she wants . He has gained many happy memories from her , so he 's sure that he 'll be fine even if he 's alone . But Yuu refuses to , as she sees through his poor acting . Villager admits the truth , and says that he 's really happy that she 's chosen to stay with him . He promises to make her happy , and to not make her days here boring . The idea to create his own rare herbs dawns on him , as he explains that it isn 't impossible due to the bug . He 'll work hard to earn money and better their lifestyles . When Yuu comments that he 's like a different person , Villager says that it 's all thanks to her - she gave him the courage to take initiative . He asks to hold her hand , but soon after doing so he can 't help but hug her instead . He wishes that time could stop now , which causes Yuu to panic . Though he says that it 's only a joke for he no longer has that power , Yuu can 't keep her guard down . Villager reassures her once again , saying that was a mistake . As he continues to hug Yuu , he mutters that though he can 't stop time … if he continuously improves his herbs he can possibly gain enough strength to stop god if he attempts to bring Yuu back to her own world again . When Yuu asks what he was saying , Villager replies that he was merely wishing to god for this happiness to always continue . Good End : Villager 's narration follows , as recalls how he resigned himself to the fact that his love for Yuu would never be returned . So when she recognised his existence he was really happy - it was like a miracle . But people are greedy creatures . He should 've been happy just to be able to talk to her , but he kept desiring more … till he ended up following her back to her world . But he has no regrets . In her room , Villager and Yuu agree to have beef stew for dinner . She 's looking forward to it as his beef stews are delicious . She feels sorry for always making him do all the housework though . But Villager disagrees with her , saying that it 's what he 's here for - he 's happy that he 's a bigger support to her now than he was back then . So he tells her to focus on her studying . Villager is touched that he 's able to have a proper conversation with her , and to have her thank him . While Yuu thinks that his reaction is over the top , Villager explains that as mob characters they only have set lines . Moreover if none of the main characters approach them , they 're pretty much ignored - as good as the background . He quickly apologises for his words , not having intended to upset her . But she 's recognised his existence , and he can be together with her like this now . Though her world was full of surprising things , it 's his specialty to adapt to his surroundings quickly after all . In fact , the neighbours greet him normally as they see him as a regular resident . Villager plans to be even more useful and of value to Yuu - till the point where she can no longer live without him … He quickly offers to massage her shoulders , but Yuu is apprehensive as there 's no telling what he 'll do . Though he reassures her that he 's perfectly harmless , she points out that there are times when he lets slip his darker side . Hearing this , Villager decides that there 's no need to restrain himself then . Yuu gets embarrassed , and he laughs at her reaction . He only wants to make her happy , so he has no intention of troubling her . Unlike the previous time , he has loads of time now so there 's no need to rush . He invites Yuu out to buy groceries for dinner . Outside , they spot an ice - cream cart and decide to share a cone . Villager takes a bite first , before kissing Yuu . As Yuu gets embarrassed , he says that no one is looking their way and that they should eat it before it melts . After all , the ice - cream tastes more delicious when eaten together - so he takes the chance to kiss her again . It was a short but fun play ! You can zoom through this quite quickly once you 've finished the first playthrough . I was a bit disappointed to see that there was a hot spring scene with all the four guys in this one though . / o \ But I was interested in DotKare for Villager and was not disappointed though ! I enjoyed Villager and Dark Lord the most so I 'm glad that I left them for last . Sugita is the best casting for this series . ( If you want to hear Villager 's inner thoughts , don 't forget to click on his CGs ! ) Anyway , though the individual endings are all romantic ones - you 'd probably want to play Dot Kareshi more for the random and amusing RPG references . Like how the characters got their traumas lol . I was a bit apprehensive about the fact that the heroine doesn 't have any lines - but they still managed to make her personality come through . Though it 's really short as a game , considering the price I think it 's quite amazing for Rejet considering the cast and how polished it is . I used to liked Slime a lot since he is cute . But later on , he grew clingy it annoyed me . lol I still can 't think how Takashi voiced him . XD April 2 , 2014 at 10 : 35 PM Reply OMG OMG you 've finished this already . Omedetou ! Yay ~ ! I plan on playing this after CZ and before Jyuuza . : 3c April 2 , 2014 at 1 : 15 PM Reply I 've been kinda dancing around the Dot Kareshi series debating whether or not to get them . There seems to be a consensus that the games are " fun and short . " Hmmmmm . April 9 , 2014 at 9 : 41 AM Reply I shall try them out ! Thanks for the recommendation . I 've honestly just continuously been buying games and made like … zero progress with anything lately . Well , a little , but not substantial . Progress would be more like … finishing a game . Or at least finishing a route . Also , I didn 't know where to write this , but I noticed you finished the 30 day otome game challenge ! Good job ! It looked fun , but I thought about it , and I really haven 't played enough games to finish it . There would 've been too many repeats . I might try it in the future after I have more completed games under my belt , haha . By then , it probably won 't really be around anymore , but yeah … April 9 , 2014 at 8 : 25 PM Reply No problem ! Honestly after finishing DotKare III I wasn 't playing much . ; ; But then recently I made myself go back to playing Ken ga Kimi and now that the route is more exciting I find myself getting back on - track . / o / Thanks ! I did a similar meme a few years ago and I did have more repeat answers then . XD Well … I think that if you 've almost played 10 games it 's more than enough tbh . After all , it 's all for fun . ( : You can still do the meme in the future and see how your answers have changed ! April 11 , 2014 at 3 : 41 AM Reply Ah , you 're working on Ken ga Kimi now ? I just got mine in the mail a few days ago but I didn 't start it yet . So many goods things I heard about it . I really shouldn 't start anything new yet , though . It would be better if I can finish the ones I started . It would make the backlog feel a little less … backlogged ? I have played more than 10 games , but most of them are from series , so I don 't think it really counts . Like … 3 games would be Amnesia / Later / Crowd . Then there 's Hakuouki / Zuisouroku / Yuugiroku , and Hana Awase Mizuchi - hen / Himeutsugi - hen . That already narrows it down immensely , so I would basically have the same answers for everything , haha . Perhaps if I played 10 games from independent series it would have made a difference … April 11 , 2014 at 9 : 51 PM Ahaha more like playing Ken ga Kimi XD At the start I felt so pressured to have to write my post while playing Ken ga Kimi that I couldn 't really enjoy the game . Especially with my tight schedule . So I decided to solely play , at least one playthrough , so that I can get a taste of the game . Now I 'm almost finished with Kei 's route ! But yeah … it may be better to finish the ones you 've started for now haha . Ahh that 's true . If you just count the series as one it would shrink the list . No worries , there 's no need to rush anyway . : 3 April 12 , 2014 at 3 : 06 AM That 's good . I mean , you don 't want to pressure yourself to the point that you can 't enjoy the game . I just played Jooubachi no Oubou Menou - hen and Himeutsugi - hen recently and wanted to try reviewing them both , but I think I 'm too fickle to try to write reviews yet . I started but couldn 't motivate myself to replay in order to write the reviews so I gave up , haha . Also , since I don 't ' understand ' everything in its minute details , there 's a lot more effort to it that I don 't think I 'm ready to commit to . I have a lot of energy when I start things , but I burn out too quickly to finish them . I eve started translating a drama CD but haven 't touched it since the first day I worked on it . At least this has given me a greater appreciation for people who take the time to review and translate games and drama CDs . I feel like I always had a pretty healthy dose of appreciation , but now even more so than before . Yeah , I actually decided to take a tally for fun just to give myself an idea of how many games I really did play . I have finished 8 games completely ( Amnesia and Hakuouki were grouped together as a series but Hime / Mizuchi 's games and Snow Bride were separate because I didn 't actually finish them yet ) . I started but didn 't finish around 13 games . About 4 I really just started ( like I didn 't even finish the prologues because I wasn 't feeling the game at the time ) . Some I played like … one dude 's route . So yeah . This obviously illustrates my track record quite well of starting but not finishing games … I don 't know if Tokimemo counts though because that game is long as hell and I don 't think I ever really intend on finishing all the guys … getting one guy is a huge undertaking on its own because of the game structure . April 15 , 2014 at 11 : 38 AM Ohh well I understand . It 's not easy to review / translate so I 'm always happy to hear it when people appreciate them . ^^ At least you understand your own personality well , and you can give yourself more time to think over whether you want to start blogging too ~ Yeah games like Tokimemo can be tough to finish so … just take it that you 've beaten the game once . XD Anyway you only recently started playing so it 's understandable . Back then there weren 't as many titles as there are now , so naturally you 'd be tempted to try out more games now with more companies popping out . April 16 , 2014 at 5 : 17 AM I do understand myself but unfortunately I do sometimes too well . I don 't want to baby myself either , because otherwise I 'll never do it . I think I have the capacity to ( and ability if I put my mind to it and stopped being lazy about looking things up ) , I just don 't have the motivation or commitment . I would definitely end up understanding more from the games that way too … but too many things going on in real life . You can 't tell from here because I check back on blogs I follow often and comment super often , but I really don 't have as much time as it seems like I do , haha . The time I played all those games in a row was a fluke . Tokimemo is fun but definitely not made to easily finish . I feel like I could do it if I like … finished up one person and then didn 't play for a long time and did another one , but yeah , no energy for that . You have to play 3 years for each guy and then there are friend ends and double ends and stuff and I was pretty much thinking " no " after just the regular happy ends . That game is probably why I started playing other games the way I did ; with my favorite character first , since in Tokimemo I just played my favorite two or three guys and didn 't even bother with the rest . April 21 , 2014 at 4 : 16 PM Well we all have phases . Sometimes I look back and wonder how I managed to play all those games , when now I 'm taking my own sweet time just to finish one . And it isn 't even that lengthy compared to others to be honest . / o \ Oh well , since it 's a phase it should pass right ? Haha . April 22 , 2014 at 3 : 11 AM This is true . I have a little more time now I guess so I 've been going through my current game fairly quickly but I know it 's not like I 'll be able to do that all the time . And I feel you . I embarrassingly still haven 't finished Snow Bride despite really liking the series and that game is a FD so it 's not even that long … It should pass , haha . I have faith in you . I mean , you 've managed to keep up your blog this long . Breaks now and then are sometimes necessary . April 25 , 2014 at 9 : 33 PM Sobs I really would love to post for Ken ga Kimi already ( I 've finished two routes … ) but work just drains me so at the end of the day I don 't feel like doing anything . ; ; But I am enjoying Ken ga Kimi so far . / o / Good to hear that you 're going through your current game smoothly ! April 27 , 2014 at 6 : 37 AM Like most things in life , as soon as I say I 'm going through a game pretty smoothly , I stop playing , haha . It 's not because I don 't feel like it , it 's just because other things take priority . I am a little worried for all the PSP games I have that I haven 't played yet though , because based on the interface and graphic quality , the Vita is spoiling me . of course , this is just based off one game so we 'll see . I 'm glad you have the desire to post a review at least . That should make it more smooth when you actually get to it , right ? I 'm guessing that like playing , some routes are harder to write about either because of the content or because you just don 't have the real desire to write about it . That 's true . But I 'm pretty sure that you 'll enjoy Ken ga Kimi ! It starts out a bit slow but once the pace picks up you 'll want to keep going . XD May 1 , 2014 at 2 : 37 AM I can imagine . I only started writing out a little that one time I actually tried to legitimately write a review but it tapered off because I didn 't know how detailed I wanted to make it . I wasn 't even 100 % sure whether I wanted to try writing a spoiler - filled or unspoiler version . Either way , I just got tired when I was re - playing the game to try and get some events down that I had missed so I never finished , haha . It took very long to write a very small portion of the game so I completely sympathize . At least you 're enjoying Ken ga Kimi though ! I 'm 99 % sure I will enjoy the game . I had to leave a 1 % chance of not liking it because I 'm rather pessimistic though , haha . I love historical stories ( super huge fan of historical dramas ) . They have a certain essence that isn 't there in modern stories . I actually just like history too , so there 's a lot going for this game . Plus , although I 've completely avoided spoilers this time around , I only hear good things about it so it 's more a matter of being in the mood , I guess . I 'm sure once I get into it I 'll just keep going . Post was not sent - check your email addresses ! Email check failed , please try again Sorry , your blog cannot share posts by email . % d bloggers like this :
|
bySweetVibes © My story took place a month ago when my beautiful wife Linda and I spent a long weekend at a beautiful resort in Puerto Rico . Linda and I have been married for over 20 years and have four wonderful kids . Even with the four kids and being in her early forties , Linda still looks incredible . Growing up , she took dance for a number of years and to this day still has those long sexy legs that you see on a lot of dancers . Those great legs lead up to a perfect rear - not too big or too small . Looks great in shorts or jeans and even better in a bikini bottom . Above that are some sexy abs , tight but not muscular looking . From there are the most amazing breasts I 've ever seen in person , in a magazine or on the big screen . Despite being over 40 , her C / D breasts are still firm and have perfect nipples . The rest of her body is enough to turn heads , but when guys see her topless at a beach or in a tight top , it 's enough to make them drool . Then , to top it all off , her face is beautiful , with sexy blue eyes and incredible lips . With the economy the way it is , we were originally planning to limit our vacations this year . So , although we try to get away with just the two of us at least once a year , we were planning to just take a family trip or two this year . That changed when our Accountant told us that we were actually going to be receiving a tax refund this year . Then I received an email with a bunch of last minute travel deals . One of those deals was an all - inclusive 4 day trip to Puerto Rico . It included airfare from our city , transfers , room , meals and drinks . The price was about one - fourth of what it usually would be , so we decided to take advantage of it . The only things that were not included were any souvenirs we purchased or spa treatments at the resort . A few weeks later we were headed to the airport for our getaway . The flight was fine and it was great arriving in Puerto Rico on a beautiful 85 degree day . Upon arriving at the resort , we were greeted with champagne and strawberries and taken to our room . The resort was beautiful and we spent the next hour or so walking the property to see where everything was . One of the places we checked out was their spa and I grabbed a services and price list . As we were leaving the spa , I asked Linda if she wanted to have any treatments and she reminded me that we 're on a very tight budget and just being with each other and enjoying the sun for the next 4 days would be fine with her . So , I put the services and price list into our beach bag and we moved on . The highlight of our walk around the property , at least from my perspective , was that we discovered that the smaller hidden pool allowed topless sunbathing . We also found that the bigger pool and beach had signs indicating that topless sunbathing was strictly prohibited . So , I was determined to visit the smaller pool often over the next 4 days . The next couple of days were perfect . We 'd wake up in the morning , have breakfast and then spend the rest of the day relaxing at the beach or one of the pools . After dinner and evening activities each night , we 'd have some incredible sex and fall asleep in each other 's arms . The highlight of each of the days , besides the great sex was when we visited the smaller hidden pool . As is always the case when Linda goes topless , she definitely attracted lots of attention . The waiters seemed to stop by to see if we needed anything every 10 - 15 minutes and all of the chairs around us filled in quickly . The best part though was when Linda would jump into the pool and watching the reaction of the guys when she climbed the steps out of the pool and watched the water flowing off her body . Guys did not care that it was obvious that they were checking her out , even if they were with their wives . She looked that great . While sitting at the beach the second day , I found the spa services and price list in the beach bag when I was looking for my sunglasses . As I was reading the services they offered there was one item that caught my eye . It was called a Caribbean Sensual Massage and was described as being a massage that will bring the recipient to places that their senses have never been to before and enjoy pleasures that they have not experienced before . The other thing that I thought was unusual is that the price was listed as TBD based on client . I decided that I would stop at the spa later in the day when we were laying out by the smaller hidden pool , since they were very close to each other . After lunch , we decided to spend a couple of hours at the hidden pool to allow Linda to tan her fantastic breasts . As happened the first day , all of the attention was on Linda as soon as we arrived . We were working on a crossword puzzle together when Linda asked me if I minded if she took a short nap . I said not at all and just enjoyed the view of my beautiful wife . Within about 10 minutes , she was asleep , so I decided to quickly ask someone at the spa for more details on the Caribbean Sensual Massage . Being a little uncomfortable about asking for more details , I waited until when of the male attendants was available to ask . He basically described it as being an anything goes massage , based on what the recipient wants . He shared that it is only available to female clients and is actually done by a non - staff member who is a professional masseuse that has a reputation of pleasing the ladies . The price was listed as TBD based on client , because it depended on what the client looked like . He shared that it is typically between $ 150 to $ 750 . He also shared that they taped the session to ensure that nothing was done that the client had not requested and that if I wanted , I could even sit in the taping room and watch the massage on a series of monitors . Linda was a virgin when we met and we have always been loyal to each other . Although we 've talked about having other people involved with us in sexual activities in our fantasies , she 's always said she would NEVER do anything . So , I felt very safe that the anything goes here would not include Linda getting fucked by the masseuse , but I was definitely curious to see what she would allow him to do in this sensual massage . So , I asked him how do I find out what the price would be . He said that if I could point out my wife or bring her in , he could discretely let me know what it would cost . When I told him she was out by the pool , he said let 's go have a look . Linda was still asleep when we walked to about 20 feet of where we were sitting . The spa attendant looked at her and said that if I wanted to treat her to a sensual massage , he 's sure that the masseuse would waive the fee and the only cost would be $ 50 to cover the cost of the room and taping . I told him that sounds great and when can we book it . He suggested the next morning prior to getting out in the sun . So , I told him let 's set it up . He told me that after she checked in , that they would take me to the taping room if I was interested . I told him I definitely want to watch it . That evening at dinner , I told Linda that I had booked a spa treatment for her the following morning . She balked at first because of our tight budget until I told her that I had gotten a great price . When she asked me what the treatment was , I handed her the spa services list with the Caribbean Sensual Massage circled . After she read the description , she said the massage sounded great , but that there was no way she 'd let anything else happen . I told her I knew that and that all I wanted was for her to have a good time and enjoy herself . When we arrived at the spa desk the next morning , Juan the attendant I had spoken to the day before greeted us . He introduced himself to Linda and offered a glass of mimosa and plate of strawberries to her while we waited for the masseuse . About 15 minutes later , a 20 - something fit man walked into the spa . He immediately went over to Juan and gave each other a manly hug . Juan then brought him over to us and introduced Jose as Linda 's masseuse . Jose apologized for being a little late and said that he 'd meet Linda back in the massage room once she was ready . He was a little over 6 feet tall and had that caramel colored skin typical of Puerto Rican men . He was not overly muscular but looked very fit . It was pretty obvious that Linda was excited now about getting a massage from Jose as she quickly downed the rest of the mimosa that was in her glass . I told her to relax and enjoy herself and that I would be out by the pool when she 's finished . She was then directed to the changing rooms and off she went . Once she was out of sight , Juan came over and asked if I was still interested in watching it . I told him absolutely , so he led me to a locked door that was behind the attendant 's desk . When we turned on the lights in the room , I was impressed . Although it was a small room , the wall had one larger monitor in the middle that was surrounded by four smaller numbered monitors around it . Also in the room was a table with about 4 chairs . The table had a box that allowed you to select which of the four numbered monitor 's picture you wanted showing on the larger screen . Juan explained that there were 4 hidden cameras throughout the room and that we could choose the one that gave us the best view . Then he asked if I minded if he watched too . I thought about it for a few minutes and said why not . Shortly after that , the door opened and Linda was led into the room by a female attendant . The attendant told Linda that Jose would be joining her shortly and left the room . The massage room did not have much in it other than the massage table , a rolling stool , a few mirrors and a few smaller tables with various lotions and oils on them . Linda looked at herself in one of the mirrors and straightened out her hair - another sure sign that she was looking forward to having Jose give her a massage . Jose came into the room a few minutes later . He again shook Linda 's hand and asked if she had ever received a sensual massage before . When she said no , Jose explained that it will be unlike anything that she has ever experienced , however , she is totally in control . He would only do what she wants him to do . She said that 's good because she had no intention of letting things go too far but was definitely looking forward to the massage . Jose told her to lay on her back so he could begin . When Linda gave him a questioning look , he said that he begins with her face and head before beginning her back . He handed her a towel so she could cover up . She quickly removed her robe revealing her incredible breasts and red panties . She laid on the table and covered her breasts down to below her panties with the towel that Jose had given to her . As Jose was positioning the stool , he looked directly into one of the camera and mouthed the word WOW and had a big smile on his face . Jose began by running his fingers several times through Linda 's hair , from the base of the neck to the top of the head . He then began to massage her temples in circular motions . From there he used his fingertips to lightly stroke Linda 's forehead , starting at the center and moving towards temples . Jose then began to stroke from the center of her nose , across the cheeks , to the her ears . The camera that we had showing on the large monitor provided a close - up of her face . As Jose was doing this move across her face , he appeared to be teasing her lips by lightly brushing them with his fingertip . It was evident that it was definitely having an effect on Linda , as she seemed to be more relaxed and even licked her lips after a few of his touches . At this point , Jose lifted her towel and asked her to roll over . It did not seem to bother Linda at all that her breasts were showing and it even seemed as if she took a little longer than you 'd expect to roll onto her stomach . Once she did , he folded the towel in half and placed it over her panty - covered rear . Jose then lubricated his hands with massage oil . He began at her neck , using his thumbs to knead her neck and upper back . Jose then began to work across one shoulder and down the arm . He wrapped his hand around Linda 's upper arm and used a twisting motion to massage down the length of her arm . Jose then used his fingertips to stroke the back of the hand while using his thumb to make circles in her palm . Then he worked his way back up her arm , across her back to the other arm and did the same thing to that arm . Jose did this to each arm twice before lightly dragging his fingers from the backs of her hands , up the arms and across the shoulders to meet in the center of Linda 's back . His touch was light and was clearly having an effect on getting Linda into a very relaxed state . Next , he began to stroke up and down her back , one hand on each side . He used firm but gentle pressure , and worked on both sides of her spine . Jose then began to use his thumbs to make circles on heFrom there he began to knead the back of one of her legs , starting just below the buttocks and working all the way down the leg . Jose pressed his fingertips all around her ankle and moved her foot back and forth and in circles . Then he grasped her foot with both hands and stroked firmly from heel to toe , while making circles in the arch . He then bent her toes gently upward to give a good stretch before running his fingers up her leg , across the buttocks , and to the opposite side . Jose then repeated the steps on Linda 's other leg . While he was doing that , Juan commented on how fabulous Linda 's legs looked . When Jose had finished her other leg , he asked Linda to turn over . Once again , she did not hesitate in turning over for him and exposing her breasts . Juan commented that the good parts are coming now and asked if I thought Linda would allow him to massage her breasts . I told him I figured she would request that he not touch them , although I was hoping she 'd let him . Jose started by massaging her arms and hands again from the front . He was position over her head giving him a perfect view down the length of her body . From there , he moved his hands from her shoulders to her breasts . The only reaction from Linda was a light sigh as his fingers first passed over her very erect nipples . He continued to massage her chest and stomach using light , feathery strokes . After a few minutes of this , he moved his hands to her hips , where he was using firmer strokes . As he slid his hands from her hips to her inner thighs he was very professional and stayed away from her panty covered pussy . He then massaged each of her legs using the same technique that he had before on the backs of her legs . As he completed that , he moved his hands back up her legs until they were resting on her hips . Jose then asked if everything is ok , to which Linda replied that everything was wonderful He told her that the next part of the massage would involve him working on her erogenous zones and it would be easier if he removed her panties . For the first time in about an hour , Linda opened her eyes looked at Jose and said that 's fine , but you are not going to fuck me . He simply responded , I will only do to you what you request . He then slipped his fingers into her waist band and pulled her panties down . I have to admit I was very surprised that she let him do that , but relieved to hear her tell him that he would not get to fuck her . When the panties were down , we switched the camera that was displaying on the big monitor to be one that provided a close up of Linda 's mid - section . When Juan saw her beautiful shaved pussy , he shook his head and said she just gets better and better . I told him I know and that I can 't wait to get this thing finished , so I can take her back to the room and fuck her good . He chuckled and said that 's assuming Jose doesn 't take care of that first . I said you heard her , I 'm not worried . Juan did comment that she is doing a great job of resisting to this point because most women have already grabbed Jose 's thick cock through his sweats by this point . Jose continued the massage by working her inner thighs . I 'm guessing it was designed more to get her legs spread apart . Once spread , you could see the glistening moisture on pussy lips . He began by gently tracing her pussy lips with his finger . He did this for a few minutes before he began to run his fingers up and down her pussy . Finally he let his index finger slip into her now soaked pussy , resulting in Linda letting out a loud moan . He kept working her pussy with his fingers and gradually added a second and third finger to her very aroused hole . About this time , Linda moved her hands to her breasts and began to stroke her hard nipples . She was really getting into it as you could tell she was driving her pussy into his hand . Jose then grabbed a glob of KY jelly from a jar on one of the smaller tables and began to work it in . Juan looked at me and said oh man , he 's going to try to fist her . I asked him what does that mean . Juan explained that he 's going to try to work her up so much that he will be able to fit his entire fist into her pussy . He said that it results in an incredibly powerful orgasm for the woman if he can do it and would all but guarantee that she will let him fuck her . I said there 's no way he 's going to get his fist into her tight pussy and even if he did , his dick will never come near it . The lubrication was definitely working as Jose had pushed it in and all around her pussy . Within a few minutes , he had four fingers in her . He then tucked his thumb in with his fingers and was able to get all five fingers in just above the knuckles . Jose worked the top half of his five fingers in and out of Linda 's pussy for the next few minutes . When he pulled them out completely , Linda was moaning and moving her hips up and down , while Jose was coating his knuckles with more KY Jelly . Juan told me to get ready because it 's time . As Jose returned to her soaping pussy his fingers were bent in with his thumb tucked under them . I looked like an elongated fist , kind of in the shape of a wedge . He began to gently press his elongated fist against per pussy lips . Linda was definitely pushing her pussy right into his fist as she had stopped stroking her nipples and was now grabbing the massage table to give her better leverage . Jose would apply steady and slow pressure for a minute or so and then back off . After waiting a few seconds he would return . Over the next 10 minutes he continued to make progress almost reaching his knuckles at the widest part of his hand . Linda was moaning loudly and bucking her hips . When Jose would momentarily remove his hand , you could see her gaping pussy hole . Finally , and to my total amazement , Jose was able to slip his entire fist into her pussy . Once he was able to get his knuckles past the ring of muscles around her vagina , he was able to roll his hand into a fist . He held his fist still for a few minutes and allowed Linda to grind down on it . Within minutes , Linda screamed with a powerful orgasm . As she was shuttering in delight , Jose began to withdraw his hand . She screamed at him to leave it in . He responded as you wish . Within minutes she was thrusting her hips again and on her way to another orgasm . As soon as Jose felt he had her to the point of no return , he slowly removed his fist . Again , she screamed at him , but he told her it was not safe for her to leave his entire fist in her for an extended period of time . She said she was so close to another orgasm and she needed something in there . With that Jose moved to the side of the table , dropped his sweat pants revealing his thick cock and said he could use this if she liked . Linda looked at his cock and said I don 't care just fuck me . bySweetVibes © 9 comments / 172783 views / 41 favoritesShare the loveTweetReport a BugSubmit bug reportNext2 Pages : 1212GoLogin or Sign UpStoriesPoemsStory SeriesTags PortalChatForumAdult StoreMoviesWebcamsMobile VersionFAQSearchEnglish | Spanish | German | French | Dutch | Other languagesAll contents © Copyright 1998 - 2012 . Literotica is a trademark . No part may be reproduced in any form without explicit written permission . Terms Of Services | Report A Problem | PrivacyUsername : Password : Forgot your password ? Security code : Change pictureYour current user avatar , all sizes : You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation . Select new user avatar : Upload and save
|
Posted on December 31 , 2006 by jkonrath Like I said before , I have a moratorium on " here is what I did last year " / " here is what I want to do last year " / " here 's how horrible the year was politically , even though I don 't know what the fuck I 'm talking about " posts . I 'm pretty sure you can read that at any other blog or site on the web . The one bit of politics I have is to mention that Hussein hanging . One , it sure hasn 't had as much coverage on the web . I thought for sure there would be a million weepy posts about how this won 't help anything blah blah blah and / or " ding dong , the witch is dead " , but it 's been very quiet . The whole thing pisses me off because I am 36 , 000 words into this book , and there is a small sub - plot involving Saddam , and now I 'm forced to either change it , remove it , or maybe add in a " no , that hanging was staged bullshit , he 's still around " or something . I seriously thought he 'd be around for thirty years amidst a clusterfuck of appeals and technicalities . Hell , Charlie Manson 's still dining at the Corcorcan Hilton on the government dime , and his little helter skelter attempt was almost 40 years ago . But I suppose someone writing a fictional absurdist book about Elvis back in ' 77 wouldn 't need to change much after he keeled over on the shitter , right ? Maybe I should add that Sadaam and Elvis are hanging around somewhere in a Tijuana tranny bar , trading stories and shots of codeine . Stranger things have happened . As an aside , I was never any huge fan of Gerald Ford 's , but I do feel bad about what 's happening with his funeral . Because of the timing , pretty much everybody is out of town and they 're probably going to have to hire some homeless people to be his pallbearers . Nixon had five presidents to carry his casket ; everyone 's too busy watching football to haul away Ford . I think the next Pauly Shore comedy show will have a higher attendance than Ford 's funeral . I always felt bad for Ford because he not only inherited all of Nixon 's shit , but he was the only person appointed the presidency , and I always thought that maybe he didn 't entirely want it . As a person who often gets appointed shit jobs that nobody else will take in my career , I can sympathize . I now have so many books to read , I can 't really decide on any single book to read . In addition to the armful of Christmas gifts , I also decided as part of a solution to the population control problem on my shelves , I would pull all of the books I have never read , and that I want to either read , or maybe dump in the future . I have a lot of books I bought in the last year or two that I shelved but never read and then forgot , and I have other books that have been following me for over fifteen years that I have never read and might never read at all , which need to be dealt with at some point . So I now have this " to be read or eventually ditched " queue now . I also have a pile of books that are the " dead and gone " pile . I know at least one of you regular readers will mention the greatness of dumping this shit on eBay or Amazon used or whatever , but I 've found it 's much easier to drag them to the library a block away , donate them , and make up a bunch of semi - inflated prices per book and take it as a tax writeoff . ( I am now in the income bracket where I am forced to file long - form and take deductions , and since I don 't have a house , kids , a religion , any political party I 'd give one fucking red cent to , or anything else , deductions are more than welcome at this point . ) The one thing I am reading now is the Portable Henry Rollins , a gift from Sarah 's brother - in - law Matthew . The book isn 't part of the Viking portable series ( I wish it was so it would match my other ones ) but it 's a similar concept - take the best of a dozen books and put them in one place . I think I own about 80 % of the books anthologized in this tome , but it 's nice to see them all in one place . It also really reminds me of how I got started on this whole writing thing , almost 15 years ago , which was the Rollins spoken word tapes . Those escalated to his books , and the desire for me to start keeping a journal , and eventually trying to write my own stories and books . Some of the stories in the anthology are ones from his tapes , and that brings me back to that period when I was trying to define myself as a writer , or at least capture something on paper . The book is also printed with the ragged right paper ( I don 't know the technical term , that shit they use in arty books and wedding invitations ) , which typically drives me apeshit , but it reminds me of some of the artsy paper and notebooks I tried to use when I was first starting out . For a little while , I thought the type of paper and type of notebook and type of pen would radically change my ability to keep a journal . Later I realized that Mead college - rule and a ball - point stolen from any bank or hotel would work just fine , and all of the " special " journaling stuff was just bullshit . The Rollins stuff is interesting in a few different ways , once you strip away the typical egomaniacal layer that usually obstructs people . Below that , there 's this part that originally caught me , this thought that loneliness and despair are not only a pure form of pain , but they are also essential to the human condition . He always talks about the need to be alone , the times when he grew up in DC and worked at the ice cream store , how he didn 't drive or take the bus , because he needed to walk across the city in the night alone , to have the pain and pleasure of not being around any other humans . He would walk and relive the horrors that happened to him in the city , the times he got mugged or saw a dog in the street get nailed by a bus , the pieces he could not erase . I identified with that to an extent , because I would walk across campus alone at three in the morning , and would see the million layers and landmarks of what happened to me over the years , and that time at night was when I was most alive , and most depressed . But I also thought Rollins was full of shit , that he was a millionaire that could get any chick he wanted , and he was obviously crazy because he wanted to go back to that period when he was a lonely , confused little punk living in a shithole apartment and living on nothing . But now , 15 years later , my memory always pulls back to those times , and I realize that even though I 've gained so much , I have also lost that overwhelming pain that defined me back then . Anyway , this is starting to sound like some kind of new year 's bullshit , so I 'll leave it there . I am actually going out to dinner tonight at Alias . I could pretty much live on their BBQ ribs and onion rings ( at least until I keeled over from a heart blockage . ) Until then , I need to keep working on the still - unnamed next book . I think until it has a name , I will simply call it Book Three from now on . Anyway , Book Three is going good , and I hope to at least get the first third done in the next month or two so I can let some other people read it and see if I 'm crazy or not . ( BTW , still thinking about that ten - year journal book . I 'm thinking a good title would be " This is not a Blog " . From 4 / 10 / 97 to today , I have 702 entries and about 496 , 000 words . I think War and Peace is about 550 , 000 words , to give you an idea of magnitude . Of course , once I edit out all of the stupid shit , it 's like 32 , 000 words . I 'm also thinking of pulling in some bits from my paper journals , and there will be a certain amount of new content , essays explaining things and why the hell I did this anyway . But I need to work on the aforementioned Book Three first , so this is a side project , as if I have time for side projects . ) Posted on December 29 , 2006 by jkonrath It seems like every blog and news site out there is currently stuck in the " year in review " and " new year 's resolution " modes . First , I have to say that being away from your usual routine of reading crap on the web has done wonders for showing me what bullshit some of my regular reads are . But the typical year - end dreck does the same . And it knocks away any desire to write similar stuff here . It would take me far too much work to dredge up a list of what I read in 2006 , and a ) nobody really gives a shit and b ) you could go back and read the old entries and find out yourself what I read . That said , I now have about 20 or 30 new books to read , and had to ship most of them back here , then had to carry them home on the subway today . In addition to having two wrenched - out arms and a neck injury from the strap of my overloaded messenger bag , I now have enough reading to last me a little while . I read Terry Southern 's collection , Now Dig This , which started with some very hilarious , Hunter Thompson - style stories , then slowly descended into overblown glossy mag pieces and overworded reviews of stuff I don 't give a shit about . Still , I should dig into his other stuff , when I need to buy more books . Right now , I need to find space for books . I hope when John is here for the start of his book tour , I can unload a dozen or two copies of the annotated Rumored on him as freebie giveaways , and I 've probably got some reorganizing and skimming of old / redundant crap for the library donation pile . Speaking of crap , I got the blurb . com book back from the printer , and it 's okay , but not for the price . The hardcover was $ 40 , and the paper is not as thick as I would have liked . It had the sort of " ripple " effect in places that you 'd see if you did a lot of color printing on standard photocopier paper . It 's not bad , but it 's not incredible either . Seeing it in actual dimensions and thickness ( or thinness , rather ) made me not love it . If it was half that price , I would totally be gung - ho about it , but I guess I 'll stick to text books from now on . I 've had a little more time to watch DVDs lately , for some reason . I really , really liked Talladega Nights , and now I have my own copy of the DVD , so I 'm sure I will watch it a million times more . I never saw Canadian Bacon until the other night - first it was in only three theaters and / or I was too busy repeatedly watching Seven or whatever , and then later I was reluctant to see it because it was directed by Michael Moore . It was pretty damn funny , especially with all of the anti - Canada stuff , although toward the end it borrowed a bit too much from Doctor Strangelove . And I just watched the Tom Green Subway Monkey Hour ( or whatever it is called ) , which is a one - hour special of his old show in Tokyo . Combining an abnormally polite society with Tom Green is not a good mixture , but it was hilarious . My favorite segment was when he went to a sushi restaurant with the rotating conveyor belt of sushi , and put a running vibrator and a digital camcorder on there , hilarity ensues . I still have the Beatles anthology unopened on my desk . And Guitar Hero awaits . Time for supper . BTW , no I am not going to Times Square for New Year 's Eve . Nobody really does that - it 's an elaborate plot to get you to buy shit . Posted on December 28 , 2006 by jkonrath Jesus Christ . If you dig around in the archives , you will find mention of the fact that every year , because of a design decision made back in 1997 , I have to do this whole firedrill of moving all of last year 's entries into another directory , starting a new one , and of course , fucking it all up because I forget where everything goes because I only do this once a year . And yes , all of you fucks can start with the BUT WHY DONT YOU JUST SWITCH TO WORDPRESS shit , and I will write the clue on the end of a baseball bat and swing it into your eye : this was around before the term " blog " was even invented , let alone blog software . Also , it all sucks . So today , I started hacking away on a new scheme to put all of the entries in one big directory and somehow link it all together without fucking everything up . I think I have accomplished that now , although the archives pages are slightly fucked up at the moment . And I am sure it will all be broken on your browser , or if you type the entire swahili alphabet on the end of the URL , or whatever . But it 's largely functional , and I won 't be worrying about this as the ball drops . Anyway , I am back from Christmas in Milwaukee . I did not announce it on this site ( or did I ? ) largely because of the amount of unending shit I get whenever I mention even the slightest shred of truth on here . But we took off for about a week , and I had a lot of fun with Sarah 's family . I went to a Marquette basketball game , which was my first non - high school basketball game I 've ever seen . ( Okay , technically I saw a lot of elementary school ones when I played in the 6th grade . ) The game was interesting because we had very good seats - Sarah 's grandfather taught law there decades ago , which means he has good season tickets . They played another team that may or may not have been a high school or maybe Ivy Tech campus , because they played like shit . I think our average 9th grade PE class teams could have beat them . But it was still fun to watch . I also went to a hockey game the other night , Milwaukee 's AHL team against Chicago 's . I have no idea at all how hockey is played , aside from the fact that you get a puck in a goal , and it involves skating . Watching the game confused me even more . I don 't think any goal could have been anything other than an accident , because it took so much effort to get the puck across the ice , and then someone else would inevitably knock it back . I found it weird too that players go in and out of the game while game play is in motion , and when they are taken out for a penalty , they aren 't replaced , meaning lopsided teams . I was also amazed at the amount of general violence that is tolerated by the refs , and the fact that the AHL all but guarantees a fight per game . We had two fights , and they were all - out slugfests , while the refs stood an arm 's length away and basically watched . The violence and general fan atmosphere was very cool , but the fact that one of the guys I went with had been to a dozen games that year and still hadn 't seen the Admirals win was a big turn - off . Christmas was good - I got a million books and some DVDs , including the Beatles Anthology set . I ate way too much , both in restaurants and at two family - cooked dinners . We went with Sarah 's dad 's family to a Serbian restaurant , which was way too much food , but a good house band and hilarious Serbian waitress . I ate at a diner where Clinton and Helmut Kohl ate in 1996 , which was weird . I also had a pre - bball Friday fish fry , which is somewhat of a tradition in Milwaukee . We went to an IHOP twice , both times good , except that they make me miss having one just down the street , like in Seattle . My only bratwurst was at the hockey game , and it was fairly bad . Everything else was excellent , albeit too excellent , and I 'm glad to get back on a boring and regular diet here . The one other thing is that Sarah 's sister 's boyfriend had an ' 84 Plymouth Turismo almost identical to the one I had that blew up . It was reddish instead of grey on the outside , but the interior was the same burgandy . His car had all of the same problems mine did : sticky doors , fucked up locks , shitty shifter linkage , messed up heater , busted dash lights , noisy CV , the whole thing . I should have told him to keep a fire extinguisher and / or a disposable camera in there , although he says he 's dumping it soon for something else . Another thing to mention is that I have been wasting a lot of time playing Guitar Hero for the PS2 . It is a game that comes with a plastic toy guitar that has five buttons on the neck , a switch where you 'd pick , and a whammy bar . You plug it in the PlayStation , and then have to play various songs . It 's a lot like the dance - oriented things with the floor mats , where you step on different colors at different times , but instead , you 're pressing buttons on the guitar neck and strumming the fake pick switch thing . It has a lot of metal - oriented songs , and starts easy , then gets very hard . Anyway , lots of fun . It is called Places I 've Been : From Amsterdam to Alaska in Pictures . ( Yeah , I know , lame title . ) It 's a 10 × 8 book , hardcover or softcover , 94 pages , and it 's all color heavyweight coated stock . I threw in a lot of photos from Amsterdam and Alaska , plus Hawaii , Las Vegas , Berlin , New York , the deserts of Colorado , Arizona , and New Mexico , and a few other odds and ends . There 's also a bit of text here and there under or next to photos , but nothing major . It 's extremely expensive at $ 29 . 99 softcover or $ 37 . 50 hardcover , but I don 't expect many people to buy this one . But check out the preview , and let me know what you think . Creating the book on blurb . com was a lot of fun , although it ran slower than hell on my Mac Mini . The program has some fancy templates , and you drag in your stuff and make a book . It 's more advanced than what I do on lulu , but the same basic concept . I 'm excited to see the final product , although it will probably get here after the holidays . I was thinking of doing my big year - end , weird crap I read that you should check out list , maybe before the holiday so you can burn off those stray Amazon gift certificates that seem to collect over xmas . I will of course mention things out in 2007 you should preorder and things out now you might enjoy ( oh wait , that one isn 't on Amazon . ) Sort of a ghost of Christmas past / future thing . I 'll work on that when I have time to dig through the list of what I 've read in 2006 . I was talking to Vijay Prozac the other night and he asked about what my current projects were . And it 's a hard question to answer , because I have like 20 things up on blocks and half assembled , like Trans Ams in a redneck 's front yard . So I thought it would be fun to make a list : Untitled photo book ( Temporarily titled " Places I 've Been " ) - a maybe 100 page glossy coffeetable book that is tons of photos from various trips I 've taken in the last six years . It has taken forever because a ) the BookSmart software is painfully slow on my Mac and b ) it 's very hard to look at a thousand photos and find the best six . This book will be publically available from blurb . com , but it will be like $ 40 - $ 50 so I expect nobody to buy it . But if I owe you a birthday gift over the next year or two , this is what you might get . Book # 3 ( at one time titled " Zombie Fever ! " ) - This was an absurdist book about a zombie epidemic , written at a time when I thought it was funny to write a zombie book . The zombie thing has been so thoroughly driven into the ground in the last couple of years ( spearheaded by that total piece of shit Romero film last year ) that I took out all of the zombie stuff and started over . It 's now a very Apocalypse Now - oriented ( which of my books isn 't ) story about a guy trying to assassinate a Columbian drug kingpin in Las Vegas who is obsessed with Scarface and Carl 's Jr . and stockpiling plutonium , but meanwhile an alien invasion is about to happen , and a bunch of other stuff . There are one or two little pieces of The Device , a book that was part of Rumored to Exist , and there are some pieces of Rumored that didn 't make it into the final draft . I am almost a third done with it , but it 's going slow . Tenth Anniversary book of this journal - I 've been thinking about it a lot . On 1 / 1 / 07 I will start throwing crap against a wall to see what sticks . Then I 'll start going through the journal and see what I want to keep . ( The crap part is just a side hobby of mine . ) Fake self - help book - I have like two or three perfect chapters , and someday I will finish it . Maybe I will do a glossy color book in one of those odd pocket sizes with glossy pictures of business people shaking hands or whatever . I also have this vague idea to do one of those half - size books in calendar form , with 365 days of negative and pessimistic thoughts on it , i . e . " December 15 - Remember that for every project that you worked on that failed , the common denominator was that you were somehow involved . " Posted on December 12 , 2006 by jkonrath I 've been sick since about Friday or so . It 's the usual December 0 % humidity , everyone else is sick sort of thing that gets me every year . Vitamins have kept it semi - controllable , but I wish I could sleep 20 hours a night until it went away . And that doesn 't jive with getting any work done , or with my whole blue light / wake earlier plan , which is largely derailed now . ( Although I 'm trying to get a little artificial sun in as we speak . ) I did finish reading that Edward Bunker book Education of a Felon . I liked it a lot , aside from the fact that there 's an abrupt ending , and the two halves of the book are very lopsided . I was at the 50 % mark , thinking the book was about over , and then the second half went by much faster . It 's one of those " why won 't he learn his lesson " things , and it 's not the typical two strikes and then a home run that you see in almost all formulaic writing . While the book started with this Bukowski - like description of old timey Los Angeles , he ended up in this fierce depiction of prison life and violence . And in the late 60s / early 70s , the shit really hit the fan as race relations became a full - on war within the walls of San Quentin and other big prisons . Part of this pissed me off , the whole black panthers / Angela Davis agenda , which was basically to kill whitey . Anyway , showing another point of view for that made it interesting . And the weirdest coincidence was when he was on the lam and left California in an old car , intending to drive to New York and check out some jazz clubs or whatever . On his way in the freezing winter , his car died in … South Bend , Indiana . This is like in Kerouac 's On the Road there 's a reference in there somewhere that he was on a Greyhound bus and they stopped in South Bend . Every time I re - read that book ( which is maybe once a year ) , I always stop and laugh at that point . I 'm reading Mikal Gilmore 's rock essay book Night Beat now . What 's weird is that I totally don 't remember buying it . I have an old copy ( it may be out of print ) and it has no jacket , so it anonymously hid on my shelves for maybe a year or so . Or maybe someone gave it to me , I don 't know . I was looking for another book the other day and flipped it open and read a page and thought it looked pretty damn cool , so I 'm on that . And what 's weirder is that I didn 't realize until halfway through the introduction ( and weirder still , I never read introductions , because after you write a few , you realize they are bullshit ) I found out that his older brother was Gary Gilmore , aka the guy executed by firing squad in Utah in 1976 . I guess he ( Mikal ) wrote a book about that ( there 's also Norman Mailer 's hugely successful The Executioner 's Song ) so I 'll have to check that out . Reading a book of essays is a good warmup for thinking about taking ten years of journal and compressing it into a couple hundred pages of book . The first question : sequential , or by topic ? Maybe I will read everything and the only topics will be " out of town " and " the weather today " . Maybe it 's better to have things date - ordered because of references and whatnot . The next obvious question : do you edit the entries ? When I did the annotated Rumored to Exist , I did not remove a single typo - I just annotated the mistakes . A certain zine editor I know ( think small fonts ) was absolutely flabbergasted that I would not make the changes . But to me , that was the past , and I could make a second edition with the corrections , but the purpose was to annotate the first edition . The Dead Sea Scrolls have not been copyedited or spellchecked for the same reason . On the other hand , the second edition of Summer Rain did have mistakes fixed . I didn 't do much more than minor copyedit changes , because I was happy with the story and I was mostly just re - setting the book into a new format at a different printer . What 's between the two ? Gilmore took a bunch of old essays he wrote for Rolling Stone and a scad of other papers and magazines , and basically re - poured them , thinking about them more , adding strength , adding content that makes it more purposeful . It 's like restoring a ' 47 Chevy to look just like a ' 47 Chevy , but maybe it 's got an electronic ignition not invented until the 70s , and there 's resin glue or fiberglass or whatever in the structure that wasn 't around , either . This thought makes me want to cut apart all of the entries , try to take the ones that worked best or mattered the most to me , and then edit or extend them until they are great . And yeah , that isn 't a compilation , like a greatest hits album , so maybe it goes against the spirit , but it 's also a hell of a lot better of a product . Or I won 't do shit and just fester about this for months . Who knows . I do know I have finished all of my xmas shopping except Sarah . I keep threatening to get her either a Fry Daddy or a Playstation 3 , but in reality , I need to think of something better . Posted on December 10 , 2006 by jkonrath Okay , I have decided ( until I possibly flip - flop a month from now ) that I will be doing a ten - year anniversary book for this journal . I 'll start on it after the new year . I don 't think I want to do it in a chronological order , though . I 'm thinking about grouping things vaguely by topic or something . And I 'll add in a few " why I did this " essays to break up the monotony . It will be on lulu , and I will try to make it as cheap as possible , although I don 't forsee selling more than like five copies . Anyway , if you have any favorite entries from over the years , or have any other ideas on what I should include , let me know . An excellent review of Air in the Paragraph Line is located at http : / / www . anus . com / zine / books / . Don 't worry about the URL , it is not a porn site or anything . The disclaimer I will add is that it was written by a contributor . But I agree with what he says , and I 'll take any publicity I can get . Speaking of which , this journal anniversary reminded me that this year is the decade anniversary of Air in the Paragraph Line . I wish I would have thought of this earlier and somehow hyped this up . Most blogs and web sites are old geezers when they reach the one year mark , but I 've been doing the zine since before a lot of people even knew there was an internet . Maybe I will send out a press release or something . And an email from John Sheppard had me thinking about the next themed issue . Maybe it will be another component of life , like death , love , hate , sex , food , something . I 'm not sure at this point . I am also vaguely wishing I would have gone ISBN / Barcode / distro with this one . It 's a lot like wondering what you 're going to bet on the superbowl before the season begins . The all - consuming thing for this week has been Blurb , a service where you can put together glossy color books . I guess lulu lets you do this too , but Blurb has a wizard program you download that has templates you stuff with photos to make very pro looking books . So I 'm messing with a travel book . It will be prohibitively expensive , maybe $ 30 - 40 hardcover , but I plan on just printing one or two for myself , and then putting it out there in case anyone else wants one . I wish I would have thought of this a month ago ; I would have used it to make xmas gifts . Posted on December 7 , 2006 by jkonrath As of yesterday , issue # 11 of Air in the Paragraph Line outsold issue # 10 . It 's also the best - selling of my lulu books , except for the annotated version of Rumored to Exist . I still wish I could find some scheme to move more copies . I 've been hearing good things from the first copies that went to contributors , too . I 'm still only about 25 % on my way to breaking even , but I 'm just glad it 's selling copies . ( I also doubled the number of copies sold of The Necrokonicon , which isn 't that big of a deal , because it went from 2 to 4 . ) I am still working on this getting up earlier thing , with this light box thing , but I 've still been very out of sync . I have slept maybe two hours a night less , plus woke about an hour earlier , which normally would be pure chaos . With a half - hour of the light at 50 % , it makes it somewhat bearable , but by the time I get home at night , I 'm demolished . I think a lot of it has to do with breakfast , which I never eat . When I get to work at ten , it 's not hard to coast to lunch at noon . When I wake up six hours before lunch , it 's a catastrophe . So maybe I need to invest in some Count Chocula and a gallon of milk . The other thing I 've noticed sofar is that I can 't really focus on writing in the morning yet . It 's a good time to catch up on the web and my email , but I 've been meaning to start writing journal entries in the morning , and I have been a total blank . I also have Christmas cards to send out , and I haven 't even started on that . Writing from 9 to midnight back in the day was much easier than writing from 6 to 9 in the morning . And in slightly related news , I think my knee is fucked up again . I don 't know what I did , but it went out in the same way as last spring , starting maybe last night , and has been getting progressively worse . I 'm not back on a cane yet , and I only briefly went back to my brace , but it keeps getting worse , so I think I might be full - on crippled by Monday . I bought one of those self - contained , gel - inside icepack things that velcro around your leg , so maybe that helps . Oh , and Tylenol - 3 is always good . It 's extremely depressing to be back in this state , though . And putting on ice is much less pleasing when it 's 32 outside instead of 87 . Posted on December 5 , 2006 by jkonrath I bought a full - spectrum light box . It 's actually not a box , but a bunch of weird - colored LED lights in a thing that 's about the size of a portable CD player or alarm clock . It 's used for light therapy , to allegedly curtail seasonal affective disorder and mess around with your sleep cycle in some beneficial way . I probably should have bought one of these when I lived in Seattle , when I was pretty much ready to hang myself by December of each year . I was skeptical , but I 've read more about it , and a doctor told me to try it . I 'm also always keen on spending sums of money on things I will use three or four times and then pack in the closet . Actually , I 'm hoping to slowly wake up earlier and sit in front of the light as I 'm at my computer , typing away at … well , whatever I should be doing on here . Next year is the ten - year anniversary of this journal . Sure , there weren 't ten solid years of updates , but 4 / 10 / 07 will be ten years from the first update . I 've thought about doing a ten - year book or zine or collection or something . ( Actually , I got the idea because Julie at apeculture . com was talking about doing it for her site . ) There are basically three reasons why I 'm not sure I would do it . The first is that I did this already for the Seattle years of the journal . Second is that despite it being very readable , it sold almost no copies . And third , I 'd have to dig through all of this shit and figure out how to do it in such a way that 's neat or funny or cool or something . Every once in a while , when I 'm truly bored , I go back and read a bunch of old entries and find some real gems in there . But I wrote them , so I don 't know if they would be as interesting to others . Not much else to report . I 'm doing christmas cards and still reading the Bunker book , which is still pretty good . It reminds me of Papillion in places , except written a little better and no - bullshit . I 'll have to check out his fiction books sometime soon . Posted on December 2 , 2006 by jkonrath I was digging around old journal entries , and it bothers me that I now write in here once a week , at best , and back in 1997 , I wrote longer entries on a daily basis . I 've been thinking about this because the end of the year is approaching , and I have to do the annual firedrill of moving the old entries and creating a directory and index for the new , and due to the antiquated system I use to do this , it 's always a pain in the ass . ( Yes , I know , I should install WordPress . And you should go fuck yourself . ) Anyway , the weekly update bothers me because it emphasizes that from Monday morning to Friday evening , I basically have to write off that time , and that period isn 't part of my life . When I get home from work , I no longer write or do anything or live - I eat a meal , spend an hour or two with Sarah , then go to bed . I can 't write books a day a week , and I don 't want to add some extra activity to my life that will distract me even more and make me feel like my weeks are even shorter than the 48 hours currently alloted . It 's hard enough to not think about work for 48 hours , and maybe get a movie and a single update into this thing during that time . I seriously think I should quit my job with no notice and become a dishwasher , or start heavily drinking , or maybe both . ( Especially if the restaurant where I was a dishwasher gave me a discount on liquor . ) I finished reading the Jonathan Ames book I Love You More Than You Know , which wasn 't bad - more articles . The themes start to repeat themselves : the son , the alcoholism , the trannies , the parents , the self - deprecation . I think Marie mentioned in the comments a couple of weeks ago about his lack of shame being a reason not to like him . And I think it 's a double - edged sword - a lack of shame can cause you to confess some really hilarious stuff that works out into a good story . But it can also cause you to be really annoying and redundant . Bukowski had the same lack of shame , and it 's no secret that Ames was a big fan of his work , and largely followed the same formula Buk did in his early days of writing columns for Open City . Or maybe having to write a weekly column leads you into the same trap , I dunno . But Bukowski 's parents were horrible , and beat the shit out of him . He escaped them into a world of alcoholism and skid - row slumhouses , instead of asking dad for a handout every week and an open invitation to move back in his old room when things didn 't work out . I appreciate the brutal honesty schtick , but it might be more interesting if his parents didn 't foster it , but rather turned against him because of it . Ditto for the son . Some of the stories are good , but the extremeness of them is diluted because you know he 's going to escape back to a comfy family life , and there are no real consequences . That said , I didn 't find out until just last night that Ames was a visiting professor at IU from 2000 - 2001 . That really spent my mind spinning , wondering if he was at Bullwinkle 's a lot , or the main library , or what . That 's about when Summer Rain came out , a time when I had Bloomington on my mind something fierce . Weird . Speaking of Bukowski , I started reading Edward Bunker 's Education of a Felon . It 's interesting sofar - Bunker was a career criminal in California , from his youth , up until his twenties , when he did a stretch in San Quentin . ( He 's actually the youngest prisoner that ever did time there . ) He was smart but uneducated , and slowly started reading books and writing letters and articles , and got to the point where he sold a book while in prison . He went straight then , and focused on writing . EoaF is a biography , a story of his youth . It reminds me a lot of Bukowski 's Ham on Rye . Bunker was 13 years his junior , but the stories of the pre - fake - Hollywood tinseltown , the streetcars and farm fields where there are now condos , all tie in with Bukowski 's imagery of his hometown . Of course , Bunker 's stories descended into youth wards , county jails , hard time , heavy crime , drug dealing , and bank robberies . Some of the machismo is similar , and it made me wonder if Bukowsi ever ran into him in later years . A better comparison is the Jack Black book You Can 't Win . No , it isn 't the Jack Black that was in King Kong and Nacho Libre . It was a penname for a criminal turned writer in the 1920s , the same conversion as Bunker 's , but a decade before he was born . Black 's book showed the childhood swindling , and on to the criminal arts . With a bit of humor and a good sense of detail , he shows you the crime , then shows you why it 's impossible to pull it off without someone snitching and getting your ass thrown behind bars . It reminded me in some ways to Neal Cassidy 's The First Third , which is coincidental , in that William S . Burroughs loved You Can 't Win , and if you 're a fan of WSB , you 'll see where he gets some of his dry wit . The one bad thing about this Edward Bunker book is that it 's very small type , set in very narrow rows , and the book is wide . With his long sentences , I 'm constantly finding my eyes get to the end of the line , return to the left , and then wander up or down a line or six , making it impossible to read at speed . I really hate when books are laid out like this . I 'd seriously pay the extra dollar if a bit more margin or spacing added an extra 50 pages to the length .
|
As you go toward the Peace Bridge into downtown Ulaanbaatar , there is a shopping center . There are a variety of businesses in there - our buddies at The Moose and a company that sells products from my old visa sponsor , RAK Ceramics , among other things . At the top of part of the building is a sign that says " TAWKEHT " and " Snooker " ( I 'm not sure why Tashkent is in Cyrillic and Snooker is not - perhaps because of whom each is marketed to ? ) I 've often wondered about the place - Tashkent is one of Uzbekistan 's old Silk Road cities - but never had much reason to go up and check it out , because for as much as I knew , it was just a pool hall . Well , Wednesday had us finding out . Blondie asked her PA ( whom I will be referring to as " Wild Ass " ) to make a reservation for us at Gangnam Style , which got her A Look . When asked where we should be going instead , Wild Ass suggested Tashkent , so Blondie went for it . After all , Wild Ass is the person who told us about and purchased the tickets for last Sunday 's concert . I got there before everyone else - I was trying to make it to the State Department Store , but traffic was bad and I ended up getting off and walking back over the bridge . I was a little worried because at first glance it looked ( and sounded ) like an 80 's Soviet - era front for the mafia ( or , as Squeaker put it , " My Uncle John 's living room . " And that 's her Uncle John , not mine . ) However , they finally came and I relaxed a little . The food sounded delicious , and turned out to be amazing . Blondie ordered the carrot salad in the top picture . A whole salad of carrots seemed ridiculous , but it actually tasted nice . I went for the Greek salad instead , and even though the dressing didn 't have any hint of balsamic vinegar and there was no feta cheese , I really enjoyed it . The biggest hit , though , was their shashlik ( listed as Uzbek barbecue ) . The chicken was SO juicy and tender , without even a single gristly bite . I don 't know what it was marinated in , but it was divine . Squeaker and Geek went for this noodle dish instead . It was filling - neither of them actually finished it , although they both took the egg off - it was a little too uncooked for either of them . Blondie got quite a few tens for her pick , so she 's made Wild Ass her ace in the hole - she was really excited to hear how " we " did , and already planning which restaurant we should go to next . Posted by I worry , sometimes , about what the world is coming to . Not so much in the sense of how we are damaging the environment and what we do to each other as people ( although those are problems , too ) , but because of what we do with our lives . I think about how Shaggy and I used to amuse ourselves as kids - we were outside all summer , sliding down hills and wading in ponds - and wonder if kids do that anymore , or if they just sit around on their iPads and phones . It 's become so easy to amuse ourselves , and I worry that one day creativity , musical talent , the ability to find your own sense of fun . . . if these things will be lost arts . Mongolia gives me hope . Last fall when Engrish , Geek , and I stayed with Enkhaa 's herder friends , as we were staring up at the Milky Way - so clear , far out from the city - someone took out their horsehead fiddle and played what I swear was " Home on the Range . " It felt like we 'd stepped back in time - Mongolian music often makes me feel that way , even when it 's Altan Urag rocking out . Sunday night we went to the final performance of a gala concert called " Eternal Mongolia , " which involved performances by nine different Mongolian bands . Engrish , Blondie , and I are always up for some Mongolian music , and when we found out that both Altan Urag and Arga Bileg were playing in it we could hardly contain ourselves . It was so much more , though . There were dancers with some of the acts , and one of the best contortionists I 've seen here . The stage set - up was genius . The backdrop was actually on a rotating axis , and while one band was playing a song , another band was on the other side setting up . And for the big final piece , they dropped the curtain , and had two choruses sing a capella - the women pictured below and a group of male throat singers . It was a spectacular performance , and it breaks my heart to say that it ended on a sour note . Some fat old Mongolian dude that everyone seemed to know came out and introduced all the bands . . . and all the singers . . . . and all the dancers . . . . . and the president of Mongolian . . . . . . and the producers of the show . . . . . . . . . and the lighting guys . . . . . . It went on , and on , and on , and on - for a whole 30 minutes while we were roasting in our seats and just wanted to get home and get to sleep so we could go to work the next day . It was a shame to see it go out like that , but there ya go . Life 's not perfect , and neither is Mongolia , but you can put up with a few imperfections now and again . I 've been working on a field trip for my darling 11th and 12th graders , and over the last few weeks I have been trying to figure out if the Union of Mongolian Artists gallery would be open the day we were going ( I 'm lazy and I haven 't learned much Mongolian and it SUCKS ! ) They had been renovating , and I finally saw a banner outside that day , so Blondie and I went inside to investigate . We looked around the gallery before heading out with a sad backward glance over our shoulders at Bangkok , where we would NOT be eating that night . Instead , we were going to . . . a restaurant that I will not call by their given name due to reasons of copyright infringement . Instead I 'll call them Schmapplebee 's . Geek and Engrish walked past Schmapplebee 's last week on their way to zee Germans . Geek joked about taking us there this week , and then decided , " What the hell , why not ? " We were afraid . We were very afraid . Just because a restaurant calls themselves by the same name as a popular American chain restaurant doesn 't mean it 's going to be a comparable experience . In fact , based on my years of traveling overseas , I would say that it 's more likely to be a surefire way to get food poisoning . But trying new things is part of the Grub Club charter , so - bitching and moaning - we went . The decor was American , alright , but it didn 't exactly promise good things . Not that it was bad - it just wasn 't swanky , or anything at all like its namesake . But when the food came out , we were definitely eating good in the neighborhood . Blondie had the cobb salad pictured above , and it was delicious . They even held the dressing like she asked for . They had lots of delicious sounding dishes on the menu . I was tempted by the Philly cheesesteak , which Champ ended up ordering ( not pictured due to the fact that it was not a very flattering photo , and I didn 't want an unflattering photo of my girl - crush going out into the wide world ) , but ended up deciding to give the chicken fajita roll a try , and fell in love . It was juicy and flavorful and an all - around excellent choice . On the whole we ended up being surprisingly satisfied with Schmapplebee 's , and I had to apologize to Geek for doubting her genius . Would I go back there again ? Absolutely , and considering it is just west of the State Department Store on Peace Avenue , I 'm sure it will be regularly . Although probably not soon - I 've had Greek food on my mind because I 'm teaching my sixth grade about Hellenistic architecture . There 's a very good chance I 'll be making moussaka Sunday night . . . . I recently had to explain to one of my students why I used to carry around Tabasco sauce in my purse : because it was really great on shawarma . This prompted him to say , " Dude , since that movie ( The Avengers ) I 've wanted to try it ! Is it good ? " The good news is , he 's got the chance to find out for himself . Engrish picked the relatively new German Doner for grub club this week , which was a relief , since Blondie was going to make us go there on Saturday , and I was carrying a heavy bag of chocolate ( ostensibly for my critiques this week , but really because I wanted the peanut butter cups inside ) . If you 've never traveled in the middle east you may be thinking , " Wait , weren 't you just talking about shawarma , not doner kebab ? " If you HAVE , you realize that they 're essentially the same thing - meat slow roasted on a rotating skewer and served in a wrap . Also known as the food of the gods . For the first time in recorded history , all Grubbies ordered the same thing - the chicken doner roll . They had what they called " house meat " but none of us were brave enough to try it . They also had a selection of greasy German foods ( which is where the " German " in the name comes from , since doner is Turkish ) , but there was no question what we were going to have , and it was GOOD . Geek wasn 't impressed , but Engrish wrangled a trio of tens for the food , and it really did deserve it . The ambiance . . . well , it was clean and comfy , but not , as I said , anywhere I 'd take a hot date . * Unless it was Valentine 's Day and I wanted to say it with shawarma . * The results of the ensuing conversation about where we would take a hot date ? Le Triskell . Le Bistrot Francais . Possibly the Ivy or Rosewood . It 's just as well that the eye candy leaves much to be desired , since a cafeteria serving buuz doesn 't really put a girl in the mood for romance . While I have a complicated relationship with China , I have to say that they know how to throw a party . Even with the city emptied out ( because everyone goes back to their ancestral home in the countryside ) Shanghai sounded like a warzone for about two weeks . There are three nights in particular that the fireworks go off for pretty much 24 hours straight - lunar new year 's eve , three nights later , and seven nights later ( the night honoring the Money God , which - as you might expect - people really go nuts for ) . My second year in Shanghai , I went out on this night at around a quarter to midnight and wandered the streets , watching everything go off around me . It was mayhem , and I loved it . I don 't know if you 've realized this from last week 's post , but Tsagaan Sar is nothing like that . The only thing that it really has in common with Chinese New Year is getting together with your family . Some of our kids here did go out to the countryside , but not all of them . There IS an exchange of money , but it 's more formal , more ceremonial . In China , you hand out red envelopes to all sorts of people - maids , drivers , children , etc . If I understood Engrish right , in Mongolia it 's about a hierarchy , and most people end up getting back about the same about that they give away ( all in crisp new bills ) , and you present it on top of a blue khadag ( silk scarf ) stretched over your arms . 1 . Pay off your debts : By Tsagaan Sar eve , you 're supposed to pay back any money you 're owing . Since my credit cards have been paid off , the only person I was indebted to was Engrish - 30 , 000 tugrugs for the ticket to see Arga Bileg . Sadly , I didn 't get to give her the money until three days into the new year . Ah well , better late than never ! Now supposedly which hillside you go up to meet the sun depends on the time or the year or something having to do with your birth . I say just go up the nearest one , especially if it has an ovoo . Dress warmly . 3 . Clean that filthy hole you call home : Okay , seriously , as sad as it is , I have a really hard time actually cleaning my own apartment . I blame this on having a maid for a year and a half in Shanghai . I 'll get part of it done , and then wander off and play around on the internet , or something equally important . So that was what I did most of Tsagaan Sar Saturday - I swept , swiffed , wet - swiffed , did the dishes , did the laundry . . . 4 . Cook a big meal : You 're supposed to stuff your face during Tsagaan Sar , so who am I to say no ? Supposedly if you enter the new year hungry , you might go hungry throughout the whole year . While that wouldn 't necessarily be a bad thing in some of our cases , I say when in Rome , do a Roman . For my big Tsagaan Sar dinner , I followed the tradition of cooking white foods . . . buuuuuuuuut . . . Romans or no Romans , I believe enchiladas are a good food for every occasion , and Tsagaan Sar is no exception . Mine just happened to be chicken ( white ) enchiladas with pepper jack ( white ) cheese and salsa verde ( green is close enough to white , right ? ? ? ) . 5 . Finally - Have your nearest and dearest over for dinner : Blondie , Champ , Wallflower , and another friend came over and partook of my enchiladas , making my Tsagaan Sar dinner just about complete . The only thing lacking was Engrish , who is basically Mongolian and would have given a certain kind of legitimacy to my bastard celebration . However , she was still with her Mongolian families having thousands of buuz ( steamed mutton dumplings ) . She may be practically Mongolian , but by that point she was wishing she was at my place eating enchiladas . What kind of girl takes you to an Italian restaurant and doesn 't show you what the pasta looks like ? This girl right here . I have to start out with an apology this week - I was starting to worry that my pasta was never going to make it , and when it finally came , I jumped right in . By the time I realized what I 'd done , it was too late . . . everyone was nearly done because , regrettably , the portions were not that big . Anyways , this was our last day of vacation , and it didn 't take much convincing to get everyone to agree to go ahead with Grub Club . Today it was my turn to pick a restaurant , and I went for a new Italian place on Beatles Street that I 'd heard about on UB Foodies - Tendo . From the outside , it 's not much to look at - a brown facade with a very small sign with the name on it ( luckily the directions left on the Foodies were specific or I would have had my work cut out for me on my reconnaissance ) . The inside , however , had a nice ambiance - warm , low lighting and dark colors . It 's not a huge restaurant ( with not - huge chairs that my ass just barely managed to squeeze into ) . More to the point , it came with a carb overload . I 've never been into the long crunchy breadsticks , and these were pretty much par for the course , but the little bread knots were brushed with olive oil and white wine ( which probably cooked out ) and were hard to stop eating . Besides carbs and MORE carbs ( I don 't care what you call them in Italian , Geek and Squeaker ordered fried taters ) , there were some soups ( minestrone and cream of mushroom ) which went over well , Engrish had a nice side salad ( I don 't know if it was as nice as she thought it was - probably she was just happy not to have to eat any more buuz ) , and - of course - pastas of all sorts . We ended up with linguine , penne , and spaghetti all on the table . I found them to be fairly authentic , which is to say , a lot lighter on the flavor than we Americans usually make it , but it was a nice change of pace . They also had some paninis which sounded amazing , but since Blondie wasn 't there to order a sandwich this week , we can only guess . Sunday was a good day ; a full day . After the Winter Festival and our wandering we ended up at the Square Pub and Grill . Our office Wonder Woman sent out an email about an ethno - jazz concert taking place there that night , and after Engrish , Blondie , and I decided not to go through with our original plan to ( finally ) visit Sainshand in favor of the Winter Festival , it wasn 't long before one of us said , " Hey , we should go to that jazz thing , too . " We weren 't sure what we were in for . Arga Bileg was the band 's name , so they were clearly Mongolian , and the ethno probably referred to traditional instruments , and it did , but we weren 't sure exactly how this would translate into jazz . My first experience with Mongolian - jazz fusion was at the 2012 Great Steppes of Jazz Festival , and I liked it , but if their rendition of " Someday My Prince Will Come " was good , it was nowhere near as enjoyable as Arga Bileg . What made Arga Bileg so amazing is that instead of just covering jazz standards on their instruments , they took the essence of jazz - the chords , the rhythms , and the improvisation - and truly melded it with their own musical tradition . I 've got to say for Mongolia that it 's been a long time since I 've enjoyed live music as much as I 've enjoyed it here . After the show , they had the cd on sale , and Engrish and I both bought one , which makes the second cd I 've bought this year ( Altan Urag being the first ) . So it turns out that staying in town for Tsagaan Sar was not as bad as I was afraid it was going to be on Thursday after school when nothing was open and I was staring down the barrel at two days of the same . However , if I AM here for next Tsagaan Sar , I have a plan of attack , and you will get to hear all about it this coming weekend . Today - which is apparently a very auspicious day for people who believe in such things - was the first ever Ulaanbaatar Winter Festival . When Engrish , Blondie , Champ , and I are old and grey , we just might be telling our grandkids ( or great - great niblings ) about the winter of 2014 , and how we were at UB 's very first winter festival . We school - dwellers set out from the teachers ' apartments with the newest newbies , Young and Love , for the Tuul River bright and early at 10 : 30 yesterday morning . We should have known better - as much as I love Mongolia , things rarely start on time , especially when it 's the first time - but I was really excited about this festival . Ice archery ! Knucklebone shooting ! And the thing I was looking forward to most - dogsledding ! If you 're not wondering about where at the river I was talking about , you should . Where I come from , you just don 't go out " on the ice " unless you 're ready to get wet , because there 's no guarantee that it will be able to hold you . It just doesn 't get that cold in the mid - Midwest , and I 've fallen into the creek on my parent 's place at least a couple of times in winter . On the other hand , I know from experience that back in Iowa I can walk home from it and not have to have my toes amputated from frostbite . Now , if the ice on the Tuul River is thick enough to drive on ( and it is - Enkhaa and I were joking last week that if the traffic was bad we could always take the river ) , it 's probably safe for even someone as Rubenesque as me , but the cracks in the ice and the bitter cold ( around - 30C ) did make me consider how bad the frostbite would be before I got home . We wandered around , watching them set up , during which we lost Young / Love ( they went home because it was kinda cold and nothing was happening ) , but it was kind of interesting watching everything get set up . We were particularly fascinated by seeing them get the archery course ready . This is Uriankhai archery , a kind of Mongolian archery that - from what I can tell , involved shooting targets ( snowballs , in this case ) that are lying on the ground . The problem was that there wasn 't a back side to the course , so we spent some time trying to figure out which direction they were supposed to shoot from : Engrish - in her rush to find Enkhaa at one point - nearly walked between the archers and their target . The good thing is that if she had , the arrows are blunted . These guys were shooting while things were still setting up , but later it became an open invitational , and everyone , including foreigners , were allowed to participate . Engrish was a little too late to sign up for it , and because she 's a nice polite Canadian she didn 't force the issue . Manners are overrated , and since I 'm a loud American I offered to convince someone to let her take a shot , but she insisted it was fine . So now I have to go find some shagai in town so we can try it out on the school ice rink . Dogsledding is one of the things that 's been on my list for a while now . A friend got to do it here last winter , and I passed up the opportunity because I was supposed to be running an activity at church that Saturday . Since November I 've been trying to figure out a way to do it with the French guy in town that runs it , but his tours were too long and expensive . I was determined to get in one of those sleds yesterday - and then I didn 't . Engrish got the brochure from the Mongolian guy who runs this company ( ie , this isn 't the French guy ) , and it 's way more reasonably priced . I might not get to do it this winter , but I 'm definitely staying for another year , so it 's definitely going to happen . The events were great , but it was just a really good experience . It was great getting out of our apartments and breathing some fresh ( - ish ) cold air ( and - as Bear Grylls says - you burn twice as many calories at extreme temperatures ! ) Seeing the kids all bundled up was too freaking cute , and I may have said , " I can 't put my arms down ! " more than once . It also amazes me to see how well the Mongolians have adapted - and continue to live with - the cold . Unlike some places where I have lived that are extremely hot , they keep living and thriving in the cold , instead of just staying inside for the worst of it . Engrish and Blondie followed up the morning by even more walking around in the cold as we headed up to Gandan ONE LAST TIME after thawing out at California 's ( where Engrish was glad NOT to eat buuz ! ) I STILL didn 't get to see sand painting , so I guess it just wasn 't meant to be , but I 'll say it again , a monastery is never a bad place to be during a holiday , especially when it 's a very auspicious day .
|
Unlike swimming , I have no natural ability on the bike . Everything that I do on the bike is the result of hard work and stupidity . I don 't know where I am on the learning curve , but I still refer to my chainring as " y ' know the big circle in the front " and I could never intelligently discuss the benefits of carbon over steel , unless maybe you 're a clydesdale . BUT , I can tell you what the BEST girl - seat around is and where to put those much needed femine products when you have a long ride ( cough . . . saltstick . . . cough ) . I 'm not fast , but I 'm not slow either . This year I finally made the move into the upper 30 % of my age group after floundering around in the bottom 20 % for awhile . In the begining of my tri " career " , I made progress quickly . I learned that there is a big difference between riding your bike out to the lake and home and training . Oy ! My first years , I spent " reading " about training more than actually doing it , but I didn 't understand the language . ILTs ? high cadence ? grinding ? I didn 't know WHY those things were important . I mean , really , don 't I just get on the bike and go as hard as I can ? After two years of poor showings on the bike , I came to the painful realization that I couldn 't become a better cyclist by osmosis . It was hard . Cycling is still hard . I sweat . My legs burn . Sometimes I go really far and want to take a cab home . Sometimes I spent a stupid amount of time on the trainer . I 've fallen over sideways . I 've crashed . I 've dropped my chain . I 've dropped my water bottle . . . and watched it go bouncing . . . . bouncing . . . . bouncing . . . . down the side of a mountain . I 've gotten saddlesores ( once ) . I 've gotten chafed . I 've peed myself . I 've miscalculated nutrition . I 've dressed inappropriately . I 've put my helmet on backward , and I 've jammed my aero - waterbottle up my nostril so hard I thought it would come out my eyes . Sometimes I think . . . . I just can 't pedal anymore . Then , something else happens . . . . . and I just keep going . But . . . . in the pool , I stare at the stripe along the bottom of the pool . . . while running I see preRambled on by I had a moment the other day . I went swimming for the first time in months . Then , I did it again . This rather odd behavior went on for two weeks . Then , I had longer swim to do . . . 3800m . The workout took me roughly 1 : 20 to complete , including break times inbetween intervals . * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * I feel good about swimming . Of the three events , it 's the one that I feel I have natural ability . In June , several people asked me what my goal time was for Ironman . I said that I knew I could hit 1 : 20 easily . 1 : 15 on a good day . 1 : 10 with adrenaline . Of course , they rolled their eyes at me . * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * After almost 6 months off of no swimming , I jump back into the pool with a 1 : 20 time . Let 's just keep that our little secret . I can 't remember a better Thanksgiving holiday . Special note : this Thanksgiving also happened to be Slin 's 13th birthday . In 1995 , after a huge dinner and much dessert , labor pains kicked in immediately . In the middle of a snowstorm ( both boys were born during snowstorms ) , and without a 4 wheel drive , Mr . Nuk drove me to the hospital . . . . slowly . . . . . while contractions quickly moved from 5 minutes apart to 2 . We got to the hospital . The doctor asked if I 'd eaten anything , and I gave him that " what planet are you from ? " look . They rushed me to the room and short while later , Slin was born . On Thanksgiving day , he became a teenager . My youngest is now a young man . No more little kids in the house . Because of that , we had a special day planned . Mr . Nuk , Googs , Slin , and my thista were all planning on running , walking or crawling the 4 mile turkey trot . But first , there was breakfast . We started the day out right with pancakes and belgian waffles , and coffee , and juice , and just about everything you could imagine . We head to the race . This year we left muchas later . . . . and ended up parking over a mile away from the finish . Not an issue for me . But , come to find out . . . . it was a BIG issue for the rest of the family who was getting ready to do the longest race ( and first race ) in their lives . The costumes were off the chart this year . We had a guy on stilts . A guy dressed like pocahontas , a team of women running in turkey feet . Doggies wearing pilgrim hats . Several turkey costumes . . . and a guy dress as a Moose , who I got to high five several times . I bet YOU didn 't get to high five a moose on Thanksgiving day . . . We picked up our t - shirts and race numbers when my thista said she had to use the porta potty . I had to give her a quick run down on porta potty ettiquette , how to hold her breath and still get oxygen , and how to do the shake . . . . if . . . . well . . . . if . . . . um . . . . necessary . As I was waiting for her to exit the porta potty , the runners started . When she came out , I made sure she didn 't have any other questions . She was so nervous . She waRambled on by We 've had very mild temperatures lately . Mild as in . . . . I 'm STILL WEARING SHORTS . Long sleeves , but shorts nonetheless . Lately , things have been going really well . I woke up early this morning , had my morning cup of coffee ( ok . . . today I had TWO cups ) and felt a relief from the stress that we had been going through . Do you know that feeling when stress is going away slowly , then one day you wake up and you think " it 's all good " ? That 's how I woke up . All all my morning duties were finished , I got set to run . I put on my shorts , long sleeve shirt . . . then at the last minute opted to pack a hat . I don 't know why I did that , but I did . Again , it was very mild ( 50F ) , and very sunny . Unfortunately with the next storm moving into the mountains , it was also an unexpectedly very windy . The wind was SO cold . Out of the north , it was an artic wind . I laughed for a second wondering how that happens . How can it be so beautiful when the wind stops ; yet , brutally cold when it picks up . I was glad I packed my hat . For the whole run , I was cold . I tried to run into the valley where I knew it would be colder because the trees would block the sun , but there wouldn 't be much wind . Today , that wasn 't the case . The wind went howling through the valley , and I opted to return to the top where I could at least have the sun on my face . It was a meditative run . More and more often , my runs are becoming like that . I 've found my space where my body can hit and maintain the right heart rate without me thinking about it . When I head home , I realized how good my training has been going and how great I 've been feeling . Was it frustrating at the begining ? YOU BETCHA , but I 've now been in Phase 1 training since the begining of October . My progress is consistent . ( Although it took a good 6 weeks before I saw any consistent improvement . It was rather erratic at first ) . I got home and the house felt warm . I took a hot shower , hoping my ears would stop hurting . Then came the best part of my day . I sat down with a can of coke and Mr . Nuk and I shared a bag of peanuRambled on by Well . . . . This whole blogging thing is really strange this time around . I 'm just not into it . My workouts are going along SMASHINGLY . . . . now that I finally know how to upload a workload into www . beginnertriathlete . com . You 'd think I would have figured that one out a few years ago . Anyhoo . . . . . The workouts have been going great . I 'm still in my Phase 1 of offseason training . I have a Maffetone test coming up soon , and I know I 've made significant improvement in my running speed over the past 8 weeks . My last test was about 4 weeks ago . Howeva . . . . I might push the test out to the Turkey Trot . It 's a measured 4 mile course that is relatively flat . The bike has been awesome . I can tell that my fitness this off season is tons better than it was last season . Although , I 'm playing around a bit with heart rate training on the bike , my legs are strong this off season . Swimming isn 't happening . In an effort to cut costs , we cut out our gym membership . But it 's all good . If it 's one thing that I 'm good at is swimming . I figure that I can do ow swims next season as soon as the lake opens OR I just keep doing what I 'm doing . I 'm very happy with my running and biking abilities at the moment . Next year , I have decided to focus on the half distances . I don 't think I 'll be racing much ( if at all ) , but I am going to work on the half iron ( either du or maybe tri ) and half marathon distances . . . . just cuz I gained quite an affection for the half marathon at my last race . So , that 's it ! Running , biking , and strength / core / flexibility work . You can stick a fork in me cuz I 'm DONE . Everything good ? Does anyone have WORSE customer service than QWEST ? Besides yahoo small business . . . . oh . . . . and google . . . Oh . . . . and COMPASS bank ( who btw has unethical banking practices ) . Don 't take my word for it . Just search Compass Bank NSF fees . BESIDES THOSE two . . . er 3 companies . WE ' RE JUST TRYING TO RUN A COMPANY HERE . NO BIG DEAL . TAKE YOUR TIME A $ $ HOLES . ahem . . . . Everything Good ? I really love this time of year . Post season , off season . . . . the time where I can just do whatever I want whenever I want . It 's such a relaxing feeling . If I feel like running , I run . If I feel like cycling , I ride . If I feel like swimming , I 'm out of luck . . . . no pool access right now . : ) There 's alot to be said for taking a mental break after months of training for specific races , staying focused , and shooting for certain goals . White Goodman might call that breaking a mental sweat . Our bodies and minds really need that downtime . Most people understand the need for a break during a particular training period , but they often underestimate the importance of " rest " during the off season . We can 't always be training for the next race . That 's why I love this time of year . My mind is freed up to take an honest look at my training , nutrition , personal life , committments , ability to train . . . . you name it , and I 'll analyze it . After talking to Mr . Nuk , I came up with tentative 3 year plan . You might think 3 years is a long time , but it 's an important exercise to figure out how you are going to train to build for each training period . Think about it in our personal and professional lives we have short term and long term goals . Why wouldn 't you have those for your athletic pursuits as well ? It was in thinking through my three year plan when I started thinking about what motivates my athletic pursuits and when I feel the most successful and happy . I came up with two types of athletes : goal oriented and process oriented . They both have goals . They both have plans . The difference is the focus . Goal oriented athletes focus on the end result : the pr , the new distance . Process oriented athletes focus on the steps ( journey ) to get to the goal . Another way of saying it : goal oriented athletes are extrinsicly motivated . Process oriented athletes are instrinsicly motivated . This is an important difference . Extrinsicly motivated athletes might often question why they are out there . Or push themselves beyond their realistic abilities in order to reachRambled on by I don 't think I 'm off the mark in saying that I think most of us want to feel special . We want to believe we are unique . And we are . . . . in our own special little ways . But , we are also human . Therefore , there are certain physical and psychological traits that most of us share . For those of you into statistics , I 'm talking about a normal distribution , right ? That big group of us that falls under that giant bell curve where 95 - 99 % of us fit comfortably . This is not a bad place to be . Researchers have and will always do " tests " to find out better ways to do things . Understanding yourself as being " normal " means that you can benefit from the studies that have been done . If that 's the case , why do we think that in order to be " special " or " unique " that we must fall outside the normal distribution and that all those rules and tests that can be applied to humans do not apply to us as individuals . Case in point . . . . For many years , I have studied the physical and psychological side of sports . I have helped many people finish their first races , given tips on nutrition , and have pointed out when someone is walking the fine line between pushing themselves and overtraining . But , I didn 't do this for myself . Afterall , I 'm special . I 'm different . I can train differently than other people do . I can train harder , longer , and ramp up more quickly without worrying about getting injured because I 'm special . I 'm unique . That 's not true . I 'm just a regular person . There 's a word for telling people to do one thing but actually doing something else . What is it ? Oh yes . It 's called being a hypocrite . For a very long time , I spoke raves about the benefits of heart rate training , proper nutrition , and setting up a training plan that had significant time dedicated to base training . That 's all good and well . Except that I never followed it myself . I 'm quite convinced now that I didn 't follow my own advice because what would shine through was the fact that I truly was slow . My ego simply couldn 't handle that . Yet at the same time , I wouldn 't see significant imTea I laid in bed this morning wrapped up in blankets . I could feel the cold air on my face . I stared up at the black ceiling deciding if I should get up . I turned to look at the curtains and noticed that the sun hadn 't started to come up yet . I rolled over and watched the glow of the sun start to come over the tops of the curtains . I watched as the length of the light grew longer like a lighthouse shining over the ocean . As it stretch slowly across the ceiling , I decided it was time to get up . I stood up and noticed how dark the room still was . I looked at the window . It was framed with the glow of the rising sun . Quietly , I tried to feel my way around the room trying to find a pair of running pants and jacket . As I slipped into my running pants , I realized that it 's mornings like this that remind me of why I enjoy mornings . I haven 't always been a morning person . In fact , I don 't know if I can say that I am now . It 's just the nature of the beast . For the past 15 years , I 've risen before the sun and before anyone else in the house to run , swim , bike , hike , snowshoe . . . . even walk the dogs . Over those 15 years , I remember the winter mornings best . There is something about running in the cold . No one else is out . I can see my breath as I run . I can feel icicles forming on my eyelashes . Maybe it 's the feeling of being cleansed . The air feels clean and cold . After the run , I sit in " my space " ( the library ) with a cup of coffee , staring out the window enjoying the silence before the rest of the house wakes up . Today won 't be an icy cold run , but it will still be an early run by myself while the coffee brews at home waiting for my return . Everything Good ? I have boys . Teenage . boys . Once a week , they bring their dirty clothes to the laundry room to be washed . Sometimes they wash them . Sometimes I wash them . We all share this responsibility . That 's ok . Except that I have boys . Teenage . boys . I haven 't quite figured out this phenomenon . However , when the basket of dirty clothes arrives in the laundry room , and I find myself sorting the dirty clothes , among the dirty clothes , I find strands of used toilet paper . Did I mention that I have boys ? Teenage . boys . I don 't know exactly what the toilet paper was used for . I don 't know why the toilet papers ends up mixed in with dirty clothes . I do know that as a parent , I have handled , cleaned up , and disposed of some of the nastiest things ejected from the human body . . . . without wincing , without gagging . But handling used toilet paper that could have been used for anything from the sniffles to teen spirit is . . . . . just plain gross . Everything Good ? I had a blog . One that had been around for several years . It 's odd , but I found that my blog didn 't change with me . ( Please note that I didn 't say evolved ) . Soon I felt like the blog had forced me into a certain category , or label , or something . . . . as though it had a life of its own . which if you think about it would make for a good book . Here 's the new blog . It 's pretty isn 't it ? I did the banner all by myself . Although , I was a bit rushed , and the sizing isn 't quite right . But , it 's all mine . Everything Good . Mr . Nuk is the reason for the title . Everything Good does not mean that everything IS actually good all of the time . It 's a question and should be read as " Everything Good ? " Everything Good is the question that Mr . Nuk asks me regularly . It means " whatever is going on . . . . good or bad . . . are you ok ? Are we ok ? Give me the sign . " Of course , the appropriate response is " Everything good " . The answer is always everything good because if we can control nothing else , we can control our attitude . We can choose to take control or we can choose to be a victim of whatever life throws our way . - - Everything Good ?
|
This anthology will have a main theme of Stalkers . That is about where my direction stops . It does not have to be paranormal , though it can be . The story can be a psychological thriller , horror , paranormal , suspense , action … whatever you want it to be . You can have a demon stalking someone in their dreams or a serial killer stalking prey , just to give you a couple examples . Whatever your twisted minds can come up with . I want stories that have you looking in the backseat of your car before you get in - stories that make the little hairs on the back of your neck stand up when you think someone looked at you just a little too long . Let your imaginations flow free and DELVE into the DARKER side of your mind … You know you want to . There will be more guidelines for submissions this time around . This is the 3rd anthology and we are learning as we go . Please CAREFULLY look them over and make sure that your story is formatted according to the specifications . Stories submitted that do not follow the guidelines will not be considered for the anthology . You must sign a contract if you are chosen to be in the anthology . ( If you are under 18 , a parent or guardian must be willing to sign the contract . Your parents will also need to be aware this anthology may contain adult content . ) Elizabeth A . Lance lives with her husband , Brandon , their two teens , lovingly nicknamed Princess and The Boy , and a menagerie of crazy animals . She is the author of several short stories , the Young Adult series , Soul Mates as well as the Agents for the Crown , Regency series with Crushing Hearts & Black Butterfly Publishing . She loves to hear from her fans and can be reached a http : / / www . facebook . com / ElizabethAnneLance Book 1 : Courting Danger , Agents for the Crown Ellen Montgomery wants nothing more than to live her life on her terms . However when her Father catches her riding his favorite stallion astride and in her brothers breeches no less , he decides to send Ellen to Paris for some much needed polish before the London Season . Ellen is soon fascinated with the Lords she meets , but only one makes her blood burn in more ways than one ! Christopher Fairfax , the new Earl of Durham has sworn off women , they are nothing but trouble . But he soon finds himself intrigued by his best friend 's younger sister , a wild little hellion who won 't listen to reason and won 't stay out of his head . Ellen and Christopher both find themselves courting danger when they find a common enemy in Lord Darby , a ruthless man wanted by the crown for murder . A man determined to gain Ellen 's hand and therefore her fortune in marriage by any means necessary . Ellen and Christopher must work together to stop him before it 's too late . David Alexander Cole , the Earl of Whitborne is tired of his life as an agent , but when he meets an enchanting young miss with an unusual request he finds he cannot help but be intrigued . Miss Joanna Deville enters his life like a whirlwind and he finds himself hard pressed not to help her in her quest for love , but soon finds himself entangled in a love triangle . The game is one of deception , make a certain gentleman jealous , and catch a jewel thief in the process , but it goes awry when he finds himself falling in love with Joanna 's devastatingly beautiful best friend , Miss Arianna Channing . What 's a spy to do when confronted with such Artifice … Arianna Channing has always been the belle of the ball . Her entourage includes all of the most eligible gentlemen , and she enjoys the power her beauty has over them , but there is one … One delectable rake with the power to make her feel something more , something real and true , but he 's embroiled in a charade of love with her best friend . How can she ever convince the rakishly handsome Lord Whitborne to quit his deception and join her in a true romance … " Very well , my dear , you have yourself a bargain . As soon as we reach London , I shall become your Flirt . Though , I may ask for a favor in return later , " Alex replied , with a wicked grin . Book 3 : Charade , Agents for the Crown Jessica Farrington fell in love with Lord Ashley Sinclair the moment they were reacquainted . She only wishes that he actually felt the same desire for her , as she does for him . Jessica soon finds that she must leave London when a letter arrives informing her of her father 's assassination attempt in Vienna . Her best friends join her on her journey and she realizes that Ashley will be along as well . She is secretly thrilled , for it will afford her more time in his company . Enter Lord Knight , a handsome and romantic masked Romeo , who takes Jessica 's breath away . His late night visits to her balcony , and his stolen kisses have Jessica 's heart soaring . His dancing grey eyes and wicked smile remind her so much of her love , but are her suspicions of her amorous Romeo correct ? Ellen was disappointed to find that he would not be joining them in their box at the Opera that evening . Ever since she had realized her true feelings for him earlier that morning , she had hoped to run into him and start repairing their relationship . " Oh . I see . " Ellen glanced down the street as she climbed aboard the carriage . She noticed an unfamiliar equipage parked down the block , but in the streetlight , she could not make out the crest . Something about it disturbed her , however she was unsure what . " Aunt Kate , do you know whose carriage that is ? " They rode to the south of the city where the opera house was located . Jean opened the carriage door and helped them to descend . They entered the exquisitely decorated building and made their way through the throng of patrons to their box on the second floor . Ellen sat down in one of the front seats so that she might take everything in , and looked around in excitement . The stage , hidden by gold brocade curtains , would be easy to see from their seats . She glanced up with delight at the gorgeous tapestries hanging upon the walls . Everything looked so inviting . Christopher sat across from the Well 's box with a stunning raven - haired courtesan . At least that is what Ellen suspected her to be . The woman wore a dangerously low cut gown of ruby red silk . She had a positively gaudy diamond necklace around her throat and the seductive way she leaned into Christopher made Ellen sick with jealousy . She felt as if she had been slapped . " How dare he ! " Positive that her cheeks were as red as the Cyprian 's gown , Ellen covered them , willing herself to be calm . She turned at once to Lord Sinclair , who had just entered the box . " Lord Sinclair , how lovely it is to see you . Will you be joining us for the entire performance , Milord ? " Sinclair smiled . " If you wish , my dear Miss Montgomery , it would be my pleasure . I had hoped to be invited to sit with you for a while . " He took the seat next to her . Ellen turned her fiery gaze back to Christopher . If he thinks I am going to behave the proper lady with him sitting with a harlot , then he has another think coming . She leaned in closer to Lord Sinclair with determination and her most charming smile . " Have you seen this opera , Milord ? " " I could not possibly take all of the credit for your mood . Perhaps it is the … atmosphere . " Sinclair arched an eyebrow and cast a look across the room with a smile . Grayson Patch hasn 't been human since he was seventeen years old … and that was nineteen years ago . When he rose from the dead that night , a Zombie , he had no memory of his former life , a craving for raw flesh , and only one purpose : to find a cure . He wishes only to be human again and he is promised that it is possible . But first he must find the human that can help him before he begins to decompose … and trade her life for his . As he learns more about her , he just doesn 't know if he can do it . Can he ? When the cost of being human again is to become a monster ? Cori Abbot isn 't scared of Grayson . Not when there are a million other things for her to worry about . Like being the new girl in a school that is a fraction the size of her old one . Or making new friends while battling her antisocial tendencies . And then there 's the big one : dealing with the recent and sudden death of her father . Yeah , there are bigger problems than the strange , withdrawn , and consistently angry guy who seems to hate her for no apparent reason . Imagine how surprised she is to realize that the ever hostile Grayson might actually be the one who understands her the best . This book was a totally new take on zombies and I loved it ! I read it in a day ( well , there was some under the covers with my kindle , barely keeping my eyes open reading going on ) . It was just that good though . The characters grabbed you from the first page and you are hooked . I liked that Cori and Grayson weren 't all sunshine and roses . Cori is upset over her father 's death and at a new school to boot . Grayson is a very unhappy Zombie that ignores everyone and lives in his own miserable bubble . Watching their romance unfold and watching the patience and love in which it does , was awesome . Don 't think it is all romance though … there is plenty of action and lots of interesting tidbits about Zombies and how they manage to live among us . Throw in a cast of awesome sidekick friends , a reaper , and a whole lot of lies that change everything … and you have the making of a great book . I don 't want to say too much because I do not want to spoil it ! I am very impatiently waiting for the next book in the series . I urge you to run buy it while it is only $ 0 . 99 ! I give this 5 stars . T . A . Brock lives in Oklahoma , where Zombies do not thrive . When not immersed in the world of fantasy writing , she enjoys spending time with her big girl , baby boy , and hubs . Some of her favorite things are coffee ( specifically with cream , sugar , and chocolate ) , music ( especially something with a good beat ) , books ( especially paranormal ) , and Tennis . She despises raw meat and therefore is exceedingly glad she 's human . Feeling slightly better for having a bit of light to keep with her , she continued down the street , occasionally looking through a window to see the remains of a room . After the third storefront she passed , she wondered at the reason all of the furniture and even drapes , carpets , and accessories had been left behind . Even in the desperate flight from Antar , people were still taking their belongings . They removed their drapes , even ones far less decorative then what Stephenie suspected were here . Why would everyone desert a city and yet leave almost everything behind as if they were simply going across town to visit a friend ? She was hesitant to consider an answer . This city had been deserted and abandoned for a long time . Antar castle and city above had been there for as long as memory could recall and the original castle even before then . Had any of those above known about a city deep in the rocks under their feet , there would have been stories . Stephenie used her stolen crystal to look into a shop that reminded her of a bakery , with a large oven in the back wall and the remains of shelves still partially attached to a side wall . The sparkle of something shiny and shaped like a pendant caught her eye . Looking closer at a mass on the floor , she paused and then stepped quickly away from the window as a shiver of fear rolled down her spine . She closed her eyes , but the unmistakable image of a human skull laying on the floor would not leave her sight . She shivered again and looked up and down the street . Perhaps they didn 't leave . Mustering her courage , Stephenie slowly approached the window again . She forced herself to look at the mass on the floor . Wiping away some of the dirt on the window , she could make out the arms and runners of a rocking chair mixed with what was likely clothing and the decayed bones of the person who 's head had rolled several feet away after the chair had collapsed . Bits of hair and desiccated skin clung to the skull , which was fortunately staring away from the window . The person died sitting in a chair and no one came to remove or bury the body ? Stephenie sniffed the air and thought about the strange odor she had been noticing since she had entered the city . It was a musty sweet smell . " Is this a plague city ? " She felt her throat tightening with each breath and again quickly retreated from the window . She turned toward the way she had entered the city , ready to run back to the large doors and flee , but the dryness of her throat and the sound of water stopped her . If this is a plague city , then I am as good as dead and I might as well die after I 've had something to drink . She passed several side streets , but continued following the slowly turning main street because the sound of water was getting louder in the direction it was heading . After a short time , the street opened into another large plaza at least a hundred feet in diameter . Several streets exited the round plaza , but at the very center , lit with several points of glowing light was a fountain . Its water pushed up from a center mound and cascaded down several stone statues into a series of white marble bowls . The fountain was a dozen feet high and thirty feet across . Drawn by thirst , Stephenie quickly reached the edge of the fountain and could feel a cool mist splashing over her . Knowing she would die slowly and painfully from whatever disease had killed the residents of this city , she did not care if the water was poison as long as it tasted fresh . Taking a small sip , she tested the flavor and found it cleaner than what she was used to in the castle . Scooping up more water with her hands , she drank deeply before noticing how dirty her hands had become . After quickly rubbing away the dirt , she moved a couple feet away and continued to drink until her stomach felt full . Relieved of her thirst , she sat down next to the fountain and buried her face in her wet hands . She sobbed with frustration and relief in one confused wail . While she would not die of thirst , how was she going to get out and warn her father and Joshua about her mother 's betrayal ? She cradled her cut arm in her lap and leaned back with her eyes closed . I 've got light and some water , but what good would warning everyone do if I bring a plague to them ? She shook her head . Damn it , why do the gods hate me so ? Fundamentally , she knew her tie with Elrin , even if a result of her mother 's doing , was her real damnation . She could not bring herself to worship the demon god and she dared not seek out the other gods for fear the priests would sense her connection to Elrin . Opening her eyes , she stared at her foot prints along the cobbled street . A lone trail to remind her that she had to do whatever it was she was going to do on her own . There was no one to help her . She sat silently staring into the distance for some time . Then she blinked her eyes , uncertain that she was not imagining it , but after a moment , there was definitely a strange luminescence moving down the street . As it grew closer , she scrambled to her feet , recognizing the dim outlines of a human form . The apparition was moving in her direction . She quickly moved away from the fountain , but as it closed on the fountain , it appeared not to notice Stephenie at all . Instead , it held its , or her , hands as if carrying something . When it reached the fountain , it leaned over as if scooping up water . I 've mentioned it before , but my formative childhood years were spent with the neighborhood girls . My family had the only boys for many blocks and with my closest brother being four years younger than me , the only people my age to play with were girls . I learned all about Barbie and Ken and playing house . I 'm not complaining , we also romped around the woods , got covered in mud , had snowball fights , and played ball just like any group of kids would . To me , they were just my friends . There were no boys versus girls attitudes between us ( that concept came later when we went to different schools and I had to make new friends ) . And even when faced with that concept , I always preferred to be on the girls ' team , because that 's where the girls were . Due to those early years - to this day - I always think of women as equals , and probably superior in many cases . So when it comes to reading novels or watching movies , I have no trouble identifying with a female lead . In fact , I think female leads actually make stronger characters than their male counterparts . To me , a strong character is one who 's personality can be felt . They may have inner fears and concerns , but they make the hard decisions and are decisive when it counts . They know what they want and actively make plans to get it . A strong character is a leader , someone the other characters look to for guidance . That is not to say they are hard - headed and stubborn ; they have to be smart enough to know when they need to ask for advice and be willing to admit when they are not able to do something themselves . Delegation does not have to be a weakness - when done right it is a strength . It may seem counter intuitive , but physical strength and prowess do not make a character strong . In fact , it can make them weaker in the long run . A bully lashing out and attacking may be able to overpower and intimidate others , but they still lack the strength of character that someone standing up to them possesses . For male characters , physical strength and skill in combat ( especially in fantasy novels ) is a socially expected norm . A male character , who is not stoic in the face of danger can 't overcome his foes and has to rely upon others , is perceived as weak . The problem is , being a stoic loner often overshadows some of the character 's personality and limits how dynamic the character can be . Whereas a female lead , while she may be physically adept , is not expected to use brute strength to overpower her foes . Society accepts the fact that she can have doubts ( which are perfectly human , regardless of sex ) and allows her to use her mind and intelligence to overcome obstacles . She has to decide to stand up to the stronger bully . I personally feel it makes the character richer and more balanced - more human and more like the girls I grew up with . The other reason I prefer stories with strong female protagonists is that they do not usually feature the females as window dressing - on the cover or in the story . While I have my share of traditional fantasy art hanging on my walls , my childhood influences don 't align with the concept of the half - naked damsel in distress unable to do anything for herself . Too many of the stories with male protagonists tend to have the main woman of the stories hopping along on the man 's coattails , doting on his every action . The girls I grew up with definitely did not dote ; they knew what they wanted and knew how to get it . So when I read a story , I want to enjoy a little nostalgia and see women as I know they are . 1 . Stephenie surely defies stereotypes . Born a princess , but a tomboy . Cursed as a witch , but a likable relatable character all the same . How did you go about creating her character ? Stephenie was born in my imagination many years ago . It was during a time I was struggling with another story . To help " get my creative juices flowing , " I started to write random scenes with random characters . One scene I wrote was about a young girl who was alone in a public house where a conflict broke out , and she had to fight her way out . Well , I kind of fell in love with the character and had to find out who she was , where she was going , and why she was alone in the world . In making that discovery , I crafted the current story arch that is the Heirs of Cothel Series . It took some time to work out her past and what her life would be like growing up as a witch and how the damaged relationship she has with her mother would affect her . Based on those factors , her break from what would be typical for a princess seemed natural . Yes and no . I grew up surrounded by girls . My family had the only boys in the neighborhood for many years , so all my friends were female and that does give me something to draw from . When writing Stephenie , I try to get into her head and see the world through her eyes . Occasionally , I need to refocus and make sure she would really react in a particular way . The good thing is I have had her in my head for so long that I usually have a pretty good idea of what to write for her . My bigger challenges come with some of the other female characters and making sure I am true to them . 3 . The tension between Stephenie and Sergeant Henton is one of my favorite parts of the book . How did you develop their relationship using such subtlety and not hitting us over the head with cliché romantic dialogue ? I am glad the subtlety of their relationship is being noticed . I had one reader tell me they were worried that I might fall into one of the overused traps they see in so many YA novels . Once they realized I had not done that , they were ecstatic . I can say this approach in the story is very much me . I am something of a romantic , but I don 't care for most of the stories dubbed as " romance " . Do people act in stupid ways when they are trying to attract other people ? Of course , but too many stories seem to force stupid decisions upon the characters to ratchet up the tension . Too many times , that is done through obvious misunderstandings that could be resolved with half a minute of conversation that the characters work very hard to avoid . My goal is to never have a character deliberately sabotage their relationships for stupid reasons ( at least not a character I respect ) . If things work or don 't work , I want there to be more substance to the reasons . I want the investment in the relationship to be greater , and so the emotions stronger . Perhaps I 've watched too many classic movies , but there is something very powerful about what is never said aloud between people . At the opening of Mother 's Curse , Cothel , and most of the other countries to the west , are fighting against an invading army that sailed in from the Endless Sea . These invaders have many witches and warlocks in their ranks and are overwhelming the holy warriors and soldiers of the people who live around the Sea of Tet . These Senzar invaders have killed royal families and left countries without rulers . Stephenie 's father was quick to join the battle because his oldest daughter was married to the crown prince of Esland and one of the first to be killed . The Senzar spent most of their focus driving toward a prominent mountain range in the middle of the land between the Sea of Tet and the Endless Sea to the west . Their main forces have yet to cross over Cothel 's boarders . However , they are on the doorstep of the country and Cothel 's forces are low on supplies and reinforcements . Stephenie 's desperation is to reach her father and brother , the King and Crown Prince , because she fears her mother is plotting something that could put them and the people of Cothel at risk . 5 . Although firmly rooted in the fantasy genre , Mother 's Curse and Daughter 's Justice remain quick - paced engaging reads not mired in the details of exotic lands or creatures . Why did you decide to depart from the genre with regards to this important aspect of storytelling ? I am proud of the world I have created , but I am also willing to let the nuances soak in over time as they become relevant to the story . For those who like to find out more about the lands Stephenie has to explore and the history I have created for those lands , I try to put some extra information up on my website . I 've been adding to it slowly , but have had requests for more information and will work to increase the frequency of the postings . This is a good question . In all my reading , I cannot recall consciously thinking I would like to expand on a specific idea in my own stories . I am certain all the things I have read have had significant subconscious influences . I grew up with a mixture of the classics ( Isaac Asimov , Tolkien , Ursula Le Guin , and Arthur C . Clarke ) and contemporary writers such as Joel Rosenberg , Barbara Hambly , Jane Lindskold , and Kate Forsyth . There are , of course , many more I did not list . From TV and movies , I would tend to pull more influences from the scifi realm . For conscious influences , I would say I really liked the whit and humor of Farscape and how the characters got along . The only thing I can say I remember the actual spark of the idea was from the movie High Spirits . That movie lent me the idea that over many years ghosts would fall into a trance and continually relive an aspect of their lives , no longer aware of the world around them until something disturbed their environment . 7 . How did you write the interactions between Stephenie and her mother without wanting to strangle the latter ? And how did you craft such a formidable villain despite her maternal relation to our loveable hero ? Some of it I think I may have pulled from my experiences working in sales and dealing with difficult customers , but mostly it came from the number of years I worked in what was effectively the advanced support team of a crisis management center . Our job was to help people recover large computer systems that were in real trouble . It was high pressure work and not everyone could handle the customers who were themselves under incredible stress . A big part of the role was simply human psychology , empathizing with the customer and helping to make sure they knew you had their best interests at heart . It was really more managing the people than actually working to repair and troubleshoot the databases . Well , not so much in Mother 's Curse or Daughter 's Justice . There is a lot of me in the characters , especially when it comes to the pragmatic nature of several of them , but I did not really draw from any other people . As a kid , I spent a fair amount of time gaming with my friends and that has lent me the ability to quickly imagine another person , craft some personality traits , and put on a different hat to play that part . However , the next book , tentatively titled Daughter 's Revenge , will feature someone close to me in the pages . I 've had numerous requests to include a character for our horse , Dollar ( original show name was Silver Dollar due to a white mark on his withers about the size of a silver dollar ) . So , in book three , look for Stephenie and others to spend some time on horseback , and Dollar to be along for the journey . I have had to narrow down my list of hobbies and " want - to - dos " considerably over the years . There is just not enough time in the day . However , the primary activities I keep up with include : Hiking . Though we lack any mountains to make it challenging , I try to spend time on a couple local trails . It is excellent time for working out specific plot details in my head . This year I have two different vacations planned , both of them involve a week of hiking with my wife . One will be in North Carolina , and the other will be on the west coast . I often mix photography in with the hiking . My wife and I are generally landscape photographers who want trees and mountains in almost every shot , though I do like shooting soft water . I 'll definitely post a few shots of my vacations online after each of those trips . And of course , I read a lot of novels when I can . Though lately that has also been hit and miss . I always feel guilty reading something else when I can be working on my own novels . But sometimes I just have to take a day or so of solid reading and knock out a book simply for the joy of it . Book 3 is tentatively titled Daughter 's Revenge . I will let the title imply what it will . As I have already alluded to , Stephenie and others will be going on another road trip , this time using horses . She will learn more about herself and continue to grow as a person . There will be a couple of new characters introduced , but aside from that , I don 't want to give too much away . Regarding the release date , the first two books have released in the first quarter of the year . I am am aiming to move that up some , but a lot of things have to come together with the proper timing to make that happen . I will definitely keep everyone posted about when to expect book 3 on my website as things get closer . Burning Sage by Deena Remiel Blurb : Sage Wilcot , an accomplished scientist , has set her sights on her lifelong obsession , studying the volcanoes of the island of Santorini . Once there , though , she gets more than she bargained for . The dormant volcano is waking and shaking things up in the process . Excerpt : " Well , now what ? " She brushed the sandy grit off her hands and sloshed her way to drier land . " I 'm here . On a grumbling volcano . Alone . What the hell was I thinking ? " She shook her head at her own audacity and stupidity . He stepped out of the shadowy darkness and outstretched his arms in a welcoming gesture . " In the flesh . And you , Sage , are too , I see . Looking splendid . " " Yes , much less dusty and grimy . It 's amazing what a shower and some clean clothes can do . " Really , Sage ? That 's your big comeback ? " You disappeared on me earlier . You were following me out of the hole we were in , and then when I went to introduce you to a colleague , you were gone . I could have used some backup on my story about my face being injured and how you fixed it with that watery stuff of yours . See ? It 's all gone . No cut , no bruise … . " " Just beautiful , soft skin that I long to touch . " His husky voice sent thrilling pulses through her body and a tingly sensation across her skin . He reached out , and with the back of his hand , tried to caress her cheek . Barely controlling her burgeoning lust , she stepped back . " No ! " she huffed , and stepped farther out of his reach . " You can tell me where you went and why you 're here now . How did you know I 'd be here ? " About the Author : It was the mystique of Arizona 's history and landscape that called to Deena and catapulted her career as an author . When she 's not writing romance and urban fantasy in the wee small hours of the morning or in the deep , dark of night , Deena teaches language arts to middle school students . She currently lives in Gilbert , Arizona with her husband and two children , but New Jersey will always tug at her heartstrings . She believes in angels and loves connecting with her fans , so find her at deenaremiel . com . Kayne , a police officer who is working overtime to take care of his family , a doting father , and a husband to a woman who he really doesn 't know . One day everything Kayne knows is turned upside down when he finds his children dead , and his wife the only one in the house . With her taking her own life , Kayne is the only suspect , but it doesn 't end there . His baby girl Tasha is missing . Where did she go , and who would have taken her , or did his wife do something to her before she killed his other children ? With everyone pointing the finger at Kayne , he decides that he has to move on with his life . Moving to Payson , Arizonia and leaving the ghost of his past behind , he takes a job as a State Trooper . But , moving away will not keep the ghost of his past away . On patrol , Kayne pulls over a speeding car and that is when he meets Jessica ( Jess ) Hallstatt . Jessica is a widow of a fire - medic who got killed on his job saving a baby who was trapped in a car , two years prior . Jess is now a widowed wife and mother of four children , three girls and one boy and runs an Event Center in her home she built with the money from her husband 's death … The Hallstatt House . Becoming friends and enjoying spending time with her children , Kayne finds a reason to be happy for once since his family was taken away from him . He no longer looks at his pistol and thinks about ending it all . Being around Jess ' kids is hard for Kayne , especially her little girl Gracie , the one her husband saved , since she is around the same age his missing daughter would be . Kayne soon learns that all the kids are adopted and Jess didn 't have the happy marriage everyone thought she did . With a necklace , a two year old mystery is solved , but how could it be ? With new information , both Kayne and Jessica 's lives are turned upside down . How far would a mother 's love go for her child ? What would you do to save your child ? Jessica is faced with that decision and she will do whatever she has to do . Razing Kayne is a great book , full of suspense , steamy scenes , mystery and romance . It is a book of everything you would want all rolled into one . The author literally has you on the edge of your seat when reading and wondering what is going on . She did a great job interweaving the plot and making it a unique one . I 'm sad that it took me so long to read it . I 'm one of those people who look at covers and will pick a book based on that , and I have to be honest - the cover made me not want to read the book . I now know you can 't have a book cover being the only thing keeping your from reading a book , and thank goodness it didn 't , because I 'm so happy I did , and I learned my lesson ! Kayne is an alpha - male and also a gentle giant rolled into one . The characters are great together and you can feel the heat coming off the pages when you read their encounters . Razing Kayne will make you laugh and cry . My heart broke for both Jessica and Kayne while reading . I want more of them ! I give this book 5 stars ! QUOTES FROM THE BOOK " There 's a lot in this life I 'm uncertain about , but the one thing that is perfectly clear to me is that I don 't want this - us - to end . If someone asked me to sit down and make a list of everything I wanted in a wife , I could sum it up with one word : You surpass any list I could create . " - Kayne " I need you , Jess , with everything in me I need you , not just now or tonight , but forever . You 're my North Star and Safe Harbor and all those other sappy clichés , but above all else , you are my dragon slayer . " - Kayne " I know so . Don 't you know you 're my hero ? You charged into my world and rescued me before I knew I needed rescuing . You 've made my every dream come true and then some . " - Jessica JULIEANNE HAS OFFERED ONE E - COPY FOR GIVEAWAY ! TO ENTER THIS GIVEAWAY , ASK JULIEANNE A QUESTION . IT CAN BE ABOUT HER BOOKS , WRITING … OR ANYTHING THAT MAKES YOU CURIOUS . Banksters , politicians , and sinister corporations aren 't afraid of laws or regulators or voters . The only thing they fear is an uprising of the people . That fear is about to be realized . The man who now calls himself Thomas Paine lived his entire life by the rules . He went to college , served bravely in combat , raised a family , and paid his taxes . Then his employer went bankrupt , taking his pension and his wife 's medical insurance with it . After her death he 's decided that America needs a Second Bill of Rights , one that he is determined to bring about through an " American Insurgency . " How many among the desperate and disaffected who see the American Dream turning into the American Nightmare will join him ? Can targeted vigilante violence really inspire true political reform and save democracy , or will it just provoke massive government repression , and perhaps even widespread martial law ? Is it possible that the insurgency will spawn a successful non - violent third party , or will government seek to squash that as well ? And what about FBI Special Agent Darren Medlin ? How far will he go to stop Paine before he draws his own line in the sand ? What role will the beautiful young talk show host Crystal Dickerson play ? What important decisions will she face , and how will her relationship with Medlin evolve ? Raised in a politically active family , Jess Money majored in Political Science with a minor in Economics . He sold his first magazine article at the age of 16 and has since written everything from ad copy and political mailers to a screenplay for DreamWorks , which earned him membership in the Writers Guild of America . Along the way he had a career in professional motorsports , worked with the U . S . Women 's Olympic Volleyball program , managed two of the entertainment industry 's most acclaimed screenwriting programs , and worked as a bar bouncer when that 's what it took to keep the wolf from the door . Although neither paranormal fantasy nor historical romance , PUBLIC ENEMIES shares one thing in common with many books reviewed and discussed here : a young woman caught up in an important struggle . However , Crystal Dickerson , an ambitious but principled young talk show host on a small independent radio station , isn 't struggling with zombies or vampires or paranormal elites . Instead , she 's unexpectedly caught up in an historic struggle for the future of America . The idea for the book came out of my participation in a citizen 's group fighting overdevelopment in our local community . One night driving home from yet another city council meeting I realized that the developers and their council puppets that run our city didn 't fear anything . Our referendum and initiative petition drives kept forcing public votes , which they kept losing , yet they forged ahead , each time tweaking their plans just enough to force us into another arduous ballot fight or expensive litigation , which they also kept losing . Just as in Washington , nothing seemed to deter them , nothing pried them loose from the grip of special interests . Then I thought , " Well , everybody is afraid of getting shot . " Of course , in a real world civilized society governed by the rule of law with a functioning judicial system , disgruntled folks can 't just go around knocking off politicians with whom they disagree . But the famous question , " What if ? " is the birth mother of fiction . What if a hooker picked up in Hollywood turns out to be someone special , and the guy who did the picking up is really Prince Charming ? What if a cute little extraterrestrial accidentally gets stranded in your back yard ? Or , what if someone started dishing out vigilante justice to corrupt politicians ? " In a flash the idea for the novel congealed . In Hollywood movie terms it would be DEATH WISH ( or DEXTER ) meets NETWORK . What if a vigilante set out to administer justice to those so financially powerful and politically connected that they were exempt from the law , beyond the reach of the formal justice system ? The question , " Do the ends justify the means ? " always hangs on the perceived merits of whatever the end is . Mere assassinations alone would not be enough to sustain reader interest , or make a plausible case why some portion of a fictional public might embrace this kind of vigilante justice . On the other hand , for years polls have shown that an increasing number of people feel the country is headed in the wrong direction . Naturally , folks differ about exactly what 's wrong and how to fix it , but this still prompted me to examine various reforms that have been suggested to improve our political system . And thus was born PUBLIC ENEMIES , in which an elusive domestic terrorist using the alias Tom Paine attempts to force enactment of Constitutional amendments he calls " The Second Bill of Rights . " But unlike terrorists who aim for mass casualties , Paine carefully targets only those he considers " the real Public Enemies " - politicians , banksters , lobbyists , and the heads of sinister corporations . By selecting Crystal 's show to communicate his demands , Paine thrusts her into a spotlight she 's not yet fully prepared for , and into conflict with both FBI Agent Darren Medlin , charged with stopping Paine , and entrenched special interests who stand to lose if the proposed amendments are adopted . Writing the book took a long time , largely because it was hard to explore these complex issues without interrupting the narrative pace or interfering with the emotional connection for the reader . Ultimately the issues shaped the characters , set the stage for crucial decisions each has to make , and provided a terrific vehicle for developing the romantic and professional relationship between Crystal and Agent Medlin . In the end , they become co - co - protagonists . Neither one can succeed or maintain their principles without help from the other . The professional editor I hired , Hillel Black , called a late draft " fascinating and impressive . " I hope you find the premise intriguing enough to warrant reading , and agree with him when you 're done . I 'm particularly interested in what female readers have to say about how Crystal is portrayed , the growth of her character , and how she deals with issues on many different levels . Hopefully I did this well . Of course , I 'm also interested in response to the book as a whole . Frustrated at being fired from her latest job and overwhelmed by her consolatory family , Sam decides to move to the family 's cabin at the lake . A place she hasn 't been since her dad committed suicide there twenty years before . Or did he ? Snooping is something she 's good at but someone seems to be taking offense to her looking too closely at what has been happening at the lake . What she discovers is shocking . Now she must uncover what 's real and what 's not . All that she learned growing up , may be false . Keegan , who has recently moved to the area to finish his latest book , is also trying to find out if his grandfather , who 'd passed away ten years before , died of natural causes or was murdered ? The descendants of the four families , who own the land around the lagoon , are dying off . Since Sam and Keegan are the only ones questioning the deaths , they find themselves working together to seek the truth . Are people being murdered ? Who would benefit from their deaths ? Why would there be barricades and armed guards at the north end of the lake ? To stay alive , Sam and Keegan must find the answers and convince others , before more people are killed … including them . " This is a book that will have you on the edge of your seat . Just when you think the story is over , think again . " Read Your Writes Book Reviews Whether you 're book is a paperback or an ebook the book cover is almost as important as the amazing story you 've written . Some would say that as an ebook it has to be even more enticing and engaging to attract attention through the bombardment of all that is on the internet . People are generally visual and make judgements very fast and move on very quickly , so your book cover needs to grab their attention long enough for them to check out what your novel is about . It is the first impression they have about your book . Another way to think about the cover is to think of it as the window to your book . So what is the view telling people ? If your book is a gentle , cozy kind of book you don 't want fire on the front . The same holds true if you book is about wars or murder . You 're probably not going to have a picture of a beautiful flower on the front , unless it has blood dripping from it or it is gripped in the hands of a dead person . What you put on the cover really needs to reflect what 's inside . People are not only going to determine if they like the cover but whether it is a type of book that they would like to read . So it has to be eye catching but tell a story of its own . Not only does the picture matter but so do the colors . If it is a cozy , warm hearted story than you probably don 't want black or browns or super bright reds or oranges . Softer colors would go with the softer story . If it 's a swashbuckling tale than you are going to want blacks , whites , grays , browns with maybe some splashes of color . So really think about whether your story is dark like horrors or light , like a love story and does it have a happy ending . There really are a lot of factors to consider in creating your book cover . It needs to entice , to draw people in , to make them curious as to what is inside . Really the front of the book is the packaging . So make it attractive and tempting . Make sure the cover appeals to you but that it is also conveying your story . Ask some of your friends or people who 've read your book if they feel that the picture goes with the story that you 've created . There are some amazing book covers out there , make sure yours stands out in the crowd . Maggie Thom took the challenge and leapt off , leaving a fulltime , twenty year career in management , to write full time . After her initial panic that she might need a straight jacket , she published her first book Captured Lies , October 2012 . And now is excited to release her second novel , Tainted Waters , April , 2013 . Her third book , Deceitful Truths ( sequel to Captured Lies ) , available fall of 2013 . An avid reader and writer her whole life , she decided to break the monotony of wishing to be an author by making it happen . Married to her best friend , she is learning that humor , love and patience help her navigate her way through her twins ' teen years . Her motto : Escape to read and Read to escape . " Maggie Thom writes a fast paced thriller laced with romance that keeps the reader interested and on edge ! " InDtale Magazine
|
He continued to look at me as he lowered his gaze to my lips causing him to lick his lower lip . For God sakes just kiss me already . I felt like yelling it out . Forget it , damn it ; I 'll do it . I pushed off the counter and brought my hands to his face and met his lips with mine . He responded immediately as he placed his hands on my hips and pulled me closer . " Is that a yes to getting to know each other ? " he whispered against my lips and I smiled in return . " Yes , I would love to spend more time with you . You have to know though I am going to be horribly insecure , jealous and clingy . I have a terrible view of relationships and I am trying to look passed it all . You just have to know it may not be easy . If that 's too much … I understand . " He kissed me again , this time his tongue brushed my lower lip and then he pulled away entirely too soon causing me to pout . A sexy grin spread across his face again , " Don 't worry about it ; I think I can handle you . " He winked and then he guided me back outside to join the party . Samantha was less than a week from her wedding . She had it all or so she thought . Her world was turned upside down in the blink of an eye . Had the last four years of her life been a complete lie ? We she ever be able to open up and let love in ? I really loved this book . I love that it has 2 POVs where I can also see what 's on each others ' sides . I really enjoyed it . I love how the author brought the characters to compliment with each other . About the story … Well , it really captured my interest . I love the story 's flow . It was easy to read and to understand . And as the story goes to an end , wow . . I feel like crying . . All in all , it 's so worth my time reading this book . . = ) Readers like me , who loved reading novels about love and second chances , this is the book for you ! I was asked to review this book by the author so here we go ! This is a story about a girl Sam who gets done wrong by a man ! But her two best friends Mitch and Allison who are there for her throughout everything want her to try and move on ! Although it is very hard she is introduced to a guy by her 2 best friends the attraction is undeniable they have a instant chemistry that is cosmic ! But it 's not easy and there is many different bumps or should I say hills in the road ! LOL It is a very good read I couldn 't put it down ! C . A . Harms out did herself . I have to say in the short time I 've been reviewing her books she has quickly became one of my favorite authors . Book Insiration - I love to write about real life and things that happen everyday . I myself have not experienced this type of loss but someone very near and dear to me has and I was the Allison in the story . I was the one that held the head of my loved one and stood by there side through it all . I felt her hurt and dried her tears and in the end she met her Wes … not the same way of course but now she is happily married and going strong . Lily had a crush on her brother 's best friend , Derek for years - which led to their steamy night ten months ago in her bedroom . Now , Lily is going off to college and she and Derek are still going strong . However , when school starts , she realizes it 's hard to maintain a relationship while also trying to live her own life . She and Derek find themselves falling apart and Lily has no idea where to turn . Enter Jack . Everything about him is wrong for Lily and she knows it , but she can 't stop herself from being attracted to him . When things implode with Derek , it 's Jack who is there to pick up the pieces - and show Lily an entirely new set of experiences she didn 't know she was missing . Of course , Jack has his own problems and once Lily gets to know him better , she starts to wonder if she can handle all of Jack . When Derek reappears on the scene , Lily is forced to decide between two guys and herself . Can she find herself without losing the people who matter in the process ? He gathers his things and sits next to me on the bed . I am being a brat , but I 'm angry and frustrated and I have no control over any of it . He pulls me toward his chest and runs his hands through my hair . " I love you Lily . The first semester is tough . I missed you so much last year , you know , but then I came home for your birthday and the distraction got me through the rest of the semester . Let me be your distraction , okay ? Call me if you need anything . If I am in class or whatever , I will call back as soon as I can . " " It 'll be easier just to say bye now , " I say . And so we do . He is gone and I wait , foolishly thinking that maybe he will turn around , come back , and decide that he wants to stay longer . When he texts me an hour later , saying he made it back okay , I collapse onto my bed , crying . I have never felt so alone . In my mind , he 's in the middle of some drunken orgy with three girls right now , even though he is texting me and that makes no sense . Inspiration : I wrote " Her Brother 's Best Friend " some time ago . It was just supposed to be a short story , but I loved the idea of finally getting to be with that guy you dreamed about for years and the story sold really well . I thought about where I wanted the story of Lily and Derek to go and started with a draft of something . It wasn 't working , though . Eventually I decided to make it a novella instead and it started to pick up . Once I got going and once I met the characters , I ended up with almost 55k words and it just all made sense . It 's not the story I thought it would be , but I like the one that it is . Since the first night Officer Mick Huon met Mary J Sinclair down at the Convict Inn , fiery sparks of passion have flown between the two of them . After stealing one kiss from her , Mick decides it 's best if he keeps his distance from Mary J , mainly due to his steadily rising affection for her that was stirred up from one brief tender moment they shared . What Mick hadn 't counted on was for Mary J to seduce him . The woman has a fire within her that sets him ablaze with primal lust . To tame a stubborn redhead like Mary J , Mick will have to pull out all the stops if he 's planning on enticing her into his bed . I have always wanted to write but wasn 't entirely sure what genre I wanted to write for . Then I happen to stumble upon Erotic Romance novels one day a few years back and became addicted to them . So a couple of years I sat down and began writing my own novels and haven 't looked back . The best thing I like about the Erotic Romance genre isn 't just the explosive sex scenes , it 's more the deep emotional connection you form with your characters whether your writing about them or reading about them , and that connection is what 's important to me . I want my readers to feel what the Hero and Heroine are feeling and laugh when they laugh and cry when they cry . That 's what I aim for every time I put pen to paper and begin writing a new novel . " Do you regret what happened between us that night in the chapel ? Is that why you flaunted your date in front me the other night ? " Mary J asked him quietly . " Now wait just a damn minute there , sweetness , before you go accusing me of doing wrong by you . For one thing , I never intentionally flaunted my date in front of you and I 've just apologised for it , so far as I 'm concerned it 's history . Secondly , I don 't regret a damn thing when it comes to you or even when I 'm with you . " Oh shit did he just say that out loud ? A quick glance at Mary J and Mick knew he had . The shocked look on her face was clearly evident from hearing his untimely omission . He would be the first to admit that he had just screwed this whole evening up by having a slip - of - the - tongue moment . Fuck . Scrubbing a hand roughly through his hair , Mick raised his gaze to hers and forced the words that he needed to say to her out of his damnable mouth . " I 'm going about this all the wrong way . Look , Mary J , I just came here tonight to apologise to you for the way I acted the other night . That 's all . " Disappointment flashed in her eyes for a moment and Mick wanted to kick his own ass for putting it there . He real did suck at apologising to her and his efforts at trying to woo her sucked even more . Christ , he was going to need to do some serious grovelling to fix the mistakes he had made with her so they could both move past this and move on to more pleasurable activities he had in mind for them . But seeing Mary J cross her arms over her chest as she moved from behind her desk to stand in front of him only increased his need to see her submit to him . Christ , even his dick was getting onboard at seeing her little act of defiance . His cock was throbbing like a son of a bitch , all because it wanted out of his jeans so it could dive straight into her luscious heat . Right then , Mick could hardly wait for the day when he could strip her naked and tie her spread eagle to his bed so he could give her so much damn pleasure she would be begging him for release time and time again . However , instead of acting on those erotic urges of his , he settled for something more romantic by tucking an errant curl behind her ear . Her eyes were simmering with heated lust when she gazed up at him through lowered lashes . Slowly and tenderly , Mick brushed the back of his knuckles down her cheek and smiled to himself at hearing her soft intake of breath . Summary : The Light in Her Eyes is sizzling hot read that is sure to heat your summer nights . A Dom in practice and in personality , Jon didn 't expect to meet his old flame in one of his patrol nights . Bringing feisty Chloe to submission and keeping her safe at the same time takes up a lot of the cop 's free time and brings an unexpected yet pleasing twist to his life . Unexpectedly touching , K . R . Haynes gifted her characters with abilities to feel deeply , in turn , bringing the readers with them . With a rare realistic ending , this book is sure to catch the fancy of suspense , erotica , and romance readers . * * * Warning : Expect consensual BDSM , bondage , flogging , wax play , and spanking . * * * Terri rolled off Dan and covered herself with the cool white sheet . She groaned out her satisfaction , turned on her side , and faced the mortal who had accepted both her job and body - unlike any other in her travels . His unselfish lovemaking style reminded her of Sir Walter Raleigh ; his attention to detail , Michelangelo ; and the kinky thing he did in that certain position she liked , Frank Sinatra . She took in his gaze , the one she had grown to love ; adoring , worshipful , and accompanied by a healthy amount of lust . After Thorvald , I never thought I 'd find another human who could make me fall in love with him so easily . She caressed his cheek , thrilling to his soft moan . I 'd go to the seventh circle of Hell for you , Dan . I 'd demote to an ordinary mortal if I could . Terri grinned when his finger swirled around her hardened nipple . It 'd be easier to convince Father to make you an immortal … or try to turn Calliope into a sweetie again . " I 'm just happy . " She cuddled closer to him , exulting at the warm feel of his arm wrapping around her waist . " Why can 't a beautiful Muse bask in the warm afterglow of a pleasurable time with her mortal ? " She lifted her neck , innately knowing he would start to kiss it . He did . She moaned and dug her fingernails into his back . His lips brushed against her throat , biting her skin with a gentleness that curled her toes . The erotic sensations from their lovemaking , receding over the last several minutes , now washed through Terri 's essence once again . Dan 's mouth moved to the side of her head . There , he sucked on her earlobe before whispering softly enough to send chills down her arms . ( 1 ) I indulged in writing a scripted series a couple of years ago called Bemused - a nod to the 70 's show Bewitched - about a mortal man becoming involved with the Nine traditional Muses , God and Lucifer , and a bevy of beautiful Sirens . It sat on a flash drive after I completed 28 episodes until I had the idea to turn it into a series of novels . Since most of my books were dark in nature , my fans clamored for something a little more happier . So , I compromised and introduced them to Terpsichore , Daniel Gordon , and the rest of the gang . ( 2 ) This book is a Romantic Drama with comedic elements . I really haven 't found ' my ' genre . I have a psychological thriller called Divisive ; a YA mystery called The Little Girl You Kiss Goodnight ; and an Adult / Contemporary book titled Romancing the Fox . I 'm currently working on a viciously raw tale about a bounty hunter , and my first erotica novel too . ( 6 ) I have the sequel to Terpsichore in Love coming out by the end of the year . I 's called The Mark of Cain . I 'm also pubbing the sequel to Divisive called The Fifth Game : Elizabeth 's Soul . Seraphina Orielle , an angel of divine fire and light , was also an oracle of foresight . Considered adolescent among her peers , she had yet to master her gift of precognition when her first vision came to pass ; a captivating male whose destiny was intimately intertwined with her own . Yet he was not of angelic design . In fact , he was very far from it . Tragically , by the time Sera discovered this pivotal detail , he had already attained ownership of her heart . A hundred years later and Cole Asteroth does whatever the hell he wants . When he 's not busy , that is , with ' dirty deeds , done dirt cheap ' for his master . Ornery and sarcastic , he gets his kicks wreaking havoc in the human realm . Oh , and making very un - angelic women beg for his touch . Life is good … A few weak moments , one too many innocent visitations and the two are entangled all over again . But not as they had been before ; things are much more complicated now . And Cole no longer possesses much in the way of faith and forgiveness . His eyes flickered beneath closed lids as a mist formed inside his dream . Before him , a disturbingly familiar , heavenly vision appeared ; a female he hadn 't seen since he was a young demon . The female who had destroyed his world . He looked around and quickly realized he was in a place he hadn 't seen in eons , either . Not since before he 'd gotten sucked into The Master 's servitude . He frowned , confused . " Why am I here , Sera ? Miss me so much you just had to come to me in Sleepy Land ? " he smirked , hiding his true feelings beneath his shining personality . In truth , he was suddenly a riot of emotions , emotions he thought he 'd buried deep a long time ago . " Oh , I remember lots of things , like there being no ' us . ' There hasn 't been an ' us ' for a hundred years . " He took a deep breath , careful not to show any emotion as she came ever closer . " So I ask again , why am I here ? What do you want ? " Her big , ethereal eyes blinked at his harshness . " Why do you act this way ? Are you not happy to see me again ? " She took a step back , sad confusion dimming her gaze . Cole shook his head . " I 'm not the green , stupid youth I once was . I 'm something your kind hates . So why now , after all this time , have you decided to come to me ? " His voice grew darker as he pinned her with a glare . " Wait . Don 't tell me . You 've fallen so now you can lower your standards . I wasn 't good enough for you , remember Sera ? You left me , not the other way around . " He turned with a growl and ran a hand through his hair . What the hell ? His life was a cluster fuck from one extreme to the other . He looked back at Sera and his heart pinched at the sight . So clearly he remembered that week they spent together . Naive he had been , but not so jaded as he was now . He started to pace , shaking his head in frustration . What was she doing back in his world again ? He wasn 't going to let her permanently uproot a part of him he 'd repressed so deep he 'd in any other situation need a shovel to find again . After all he 'd been through since she 'd left him , and all he was presently going through , he really didn 't need this . As he stopped in front of her , he got a whiff of her scent . Fresh and sweet , like morning dew . He nearly groaned , growing instantly hard . Abruptly he grabbed her shoulders , intentionally forcing her into her physical form . " Why , Sera ? Why now ? " If you believe your life is the sum total of your choices , what do you do when things just don 't add up ? You are about to find out . It won 't be pretty . It won 't be dull . And surely , it won 't be safe . In fact , making just one wrong choice could put evil at your bedside watching you sleep . And so it is with Kate Simmons , a young woman who , by choosing to regain her life , actually puts it at risk by the very choices she makes . After unimaginable heartbreak stops her world on a dime , Kate falls into a three - year blackness of self blame that brings her to the edge of life , itself . As time finally brings light back through tiny cracks of renewed desire , Kate moves out of the prison she made for herself in her mother 's home to find a new reality , rooming with her best girlfriend , Charlie . Sometimes , it 's whom you choose . Sometimes , it 's who chooses you . If you 're Kate , it 's both , and it puts you on a perilous road where good looks and humor are the thin masks of jealous delusion and utter violence . 1 . What inspired you to write this book ? I have written this book as fiction but some of it is based on events that happened in my life when I was in college . She took her dress off and folded it , placing it next to the sink . She looked at her thong underwear . What a mess ! How am I going to resist this man ? Did she want to resist him ? He 's so sexy and he knows it . She put on the bikini . She had tried it on at the store while she was shopping with Natalie one day . Nat knew her size , so it was a perfect fit . She checked herself in the mirror from different angles . Well , it 's a bikini . It doesn 't cover much . She wrapped herself up in the cozy robe . It draped her body , concealing her for the moment . The night air had turned cool and she would need it when she got out of the Jacuzzi to keep warm . However , she had a feeling that Neil was going to do everything in his power to ensure her warmth sans the robe . She got a hair tie out of her purse to put her hair up . She walked out onto the terrace . The sun was beginning to set and the ripples of the ocean glistened . Neil was sitting on the edge of the hot tub , his feet dangling in the bubbling water . Kate couldn 't take her eyes off of his god - like physique . His body was so muscular and sexy . He must work out a lot to have those amazing abs . His shoulders were broad , his arms cut , and his pecs were firm . What a specimen of perfection . He was an Adonis . And he wanted her . As she approached , he slipped into the tub . I Want to be Your Man was playing in the background . The music was sultry , the perfect song for the moment . He held his hand out to her , his gaze burning right through her . Okay , here goes nothing . Or everything . She loosened the tie on the robe and let it drop to the tiles beneath her feet . Neil 's face lit up , his desire showing through his expression . He let out a small groan . His eyes devoured her body like a lion devours its prey . As she entered the hot tub and moved toward him , his eyes stayed locked on hers . She wanted to look away because of his intensity , but she couldn 't . She couldn 't break free of his gaze . She knew in that second she would do anything he asked of her . " Who cares about imagination ? I 'm into reality and the reality is that you are a beautiful sight to behold , " he said , wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her on top of him , her legs straddling his hips . She could feel his erection between her thighs . He was right there . This is so hot . He put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her mouth to his . He consumed her , scouring every part of her mouth . His tongue was sweet like wine , caressing hers . She kissed him back with urgency . His hands roamed up and down her back . Then she realized that he was untying the strap of her bikini top . The two triangular pieces fell forward , revealing her breasts . He stopped kissing her and looked deep into her eyes . " I know I said I would be a perfect gentleman . But the truth of the matter is you make me absolutely wild . " His breathing was heavy . " I want you so badly . I want to be your man , " he said , echoing the song . She felt the pulse between her legs heighten as she heard his words . She wanted him desperately too . All she could do was stare into his eyes as words failed her . He put his hands on each side of her breasts , pushing them together . He began licking one nipple , swirling around in circles , gently nipping and then licking again . Her nipple became erect . Then he moved to the other one , groaning the entire time . She arched her back , pushing her breasts toward him , letting her head fall back . Her hands held onto his shoulders . He was driving her wild between his sucking and licking . He pulled her head toward him . He looked into her eyes . " You are so beautiful . I want to make love to you . Please let me , " he pleaded . " I want you so much . I just can 't wait . " I will be releasing book 2 in my series Taken by You ( The Killer Next Door , Part 2 ) on July 9th . The final book in the series Given to You ( The Killer Next Door , Part 3 ) . These are the first books that I have written . I do have ideas for many other stories and hope to transition from being a teacher to a writer . I am in the final editing stages of book 3 and have started my 4th book . It is about two characters that meet in my series . It will be a stand - alone book . I 'm considering the title Beholden to You . Posted on June 21 , 2013 by karahuntington Blurb : Sarah hates the prestigious high school she attends . Most of the other students ignore her . School is only made tolerable by the presence of Dan Bradfield , the boy she adores . Dan is the heir to his father 's multinational computer company , but he is dating Sarah 's best friend , Jillian . When tragedy strikes , Dan is the one who supports Sarah . But she can 't shake the feeling there is something strange about him . Is he protecting her from something ? Is there something going on that she doesn 't know about ? And did she really see a monster in the bushes ? Recent Comments Phoenix Johnson on Behind the written word …… naughtynightspress on New Release … Carnal … Don Abdul on Excerpt from , The Whipping … Jake Malden on Excerpt from , The Whipping … pablomichaels on Excerpt from , The Whipping … Archives November 2014
|
How My Husband and I are Defying the Divorce Rate Odds Among Parents of Special Needs Kids Marriage is hard work , harder than I realized when I was single . I 'm more likely to have a marriage that ends in divorce since I am a child of divorce . When my husband and I were engaged , we did everything in our power to ensure that we were ready for a lifelong commitment . The most important thing we did was to seek out premarital counseling . The three sessions that our church offered were not enough . We felt we needed more so we sought out a private MFT ( Marriage and Family Therapist ) . That did the trick . Or so we thought . Along the way , life threw us a few curve balls : cancer ( my husband 's ) , mental illness ( first my parents ' then our daughter 's ) , and job loss ( mine ) . Any one of these things could have led to our marriage 's demise . My husband and I chose to not let these things deter us . We pulled up our bootstraps and did the dirty work . Then our world came crashing in on us when our daughter 's unique challenges really tested us . We were really at a loss as to what to do . Then at a school meeting for our daughter , the school psychologist suggested we seek out family counseling . Our daughter left that school shortly after that meeting but we took the advice we were given . This counselor was not only concerned with the emotional health of our daughter , but the health of our marriage as well . It was important to her that we learn how to parent this child and care for ourselves also . Early on this special needs journey I read from parents who are nearing the end of their child 's teen years . They said that the one thing they wished they had done was to spend more time on their marriage . It 's kind of like a car . A good one needs a tune - up every so often . A car , or marriage , that 's traveled a lot of miles needs more attention in order to keep it running well . We still have hurdles and obstacles , but we have learned a lot of techniques that help us jump over them with as much ease as possible . One of the techniques that our therapist taught us was to try to make sure we are on the same page as far as parenting goes . For many years I was super strict and my husband was more lenient . We learned to meet in the middle . In the heat of the moment if we cannot agree on how things are to be done , one of us will call the other over to discuss how best to resolve something . It 's kind of like a time out for parents . We learned how important it is to take the time to discuss how our day was once our daughter is in bed . We have to remember that we are individuals too , not just parents . Finally , we had to learn to give each other breaks even if it is difficult . When our daughter was unstable , it 's been as simple as my husband staying home while I do a Starbucks run or drive around the block for 30 minutes . I vowed to do my very best to stay married . Having a special needs child makes it difficult , but not impossible . I 'm confident that the techniques my husband and I have learned and implemented will help us defy the high divorce rate in the special needs community . After the AACAP Legislative Conference , which you can read about beginning here , my daughter and I stayed an extra day in Washington , D . C . seeing some of its historic sites . That afternoon we left D . C . to head to Virginia for more sightseeing the next day . The evening that we arrived at our new hotel we met up with my blogger friend Julie from Ketchup with a Side of Autism . Julie drove down from Maryland and greeted us in the lobby of our hotel in Virginia . We had planned on having dinner at a nearby restaurant . As we were leaving the hotel it started to drizzle . I debated about running upstairs to get my umbrella but at Julie 's suggestion I decided against it . After all , the restaurant was just around the corner . How wet could I get ? Julie used her powers of persuasion to convince Princess to try this little Italian restaurant she 'd seen . Princess 's first and only choice had been McDonald 's , but she agreed to try something new . When we got inside the restaurant , Princess was thrilled that they had gummy bears in their reception area . She put a few in a cup and followed us in . Princess happily played on her iPad while she ate her cheese pizza as Julie and I chatted . I could sense that Princess wasn 't exactly keen on Julie that is until Julie offered to help her pick out a dessert . After we 'd had our fill of both food and talk , Julie asked us if we 'd walk her back to her car which was within walking distance . Unbeknownst to both of us , that darn car moved itself or else the parking garage moved . We spent the next two hours getting soaked in the rain while looking for the blasted car . We asked several people who worked at the mall where Julie parked her car where the elusive garage was . We followed their directions explicitly , but we were only following a rabbit trail . I was pretty worn out from all of the walking we had done earlier in the day so I was a little slow . Julie , however , was on a mission . Princess was caught in the middle . She kept asking a panicked stricken but composed Julie to slow down and wait for her mother . I felt bad that I couldn 't keep up and Julie felt bad she couldn 't find her car . Julie is a passionate person , but she kept her cool in all of this because she knew that if she lost her shizzle that Princess could lose hers as well . Since Julie 's daughter is Autistic , she knows that would not have been a good scene for anyone . Besides I 'd left the Ativan back in the hotel room . If I 'd had it , I 'm not even sure who I would have given it to . At one point , Julie suggested that Princess and I go back to the hotel since we knew where that was . I told her that I could never live with myself if we left her to fend for herself and something happened . I remembered the military phrase , " No one gets left behind . " Unbeknownst to many people , Julie has gone to bat for me on more than one occasion . What kind of friend would I be if I left her when she needed me most ? Finally , Julie was struck with a lightning bolt of an idea . She pulled out her iPhone and entered the address on her parking stub into her maps app . Neither one of us had even thought of that idea . Once she had the address and Siri talking to her , we found the car in no time flat . We all piled in and she drove Princess and I back to our hotel . As she drove , I shed a little tear because in some small way I had repaid a little of the kindness this friend has shown me time and time again . Or maybe it was just a raindrop from my non - waterproof windbreaker . We 'll never know . Princess learned a valuable lesson in perseverance that epic night . I learned that I am blessed to have people like Julie in my life . What did Julie learn ? The Mother of all Ketchups learned how to how Siri and I are her best friends . After we returned to our hotel , we had a little bit of time before our last meeting of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent 's ( AACAP ) Legislative Conference . My daughter , who was still sleep deprived from the night before , decided to take a short nap while I relaxed and ponderered over the events of our amazing day . We didn 't get to actually meet any of our elected officials , but we did get to go to three of their offices and speak with their assistants about the national workforce shortage among child and adolescent psychiatrists , the need for sweeping reform in mental health and to thank these members of Congress for their support of continued funding for the Children 's Health Insurance Program ( CHIP ) . Even though Princess didn 't say much at most of these meetings , she was the face of mental health . The representatives probably couldn 't believe that this sweet angelic child had ever faced the adversity that we spoke of . I wish I had had more time to tell them more of our amazing journey . I do have their email addresses so I can email them . Hmmm . . . After a time of reflection and rest , we headed down to the grand ballroom for our debriefing meeting . Many of the psychiatrists , residents and fellows shared wonderful stories about their meetings . There were also family members like Princess and I who shared their stories as well . I shared how at one meeting an assistant asked why psychiatrists who serve the adult population cannot be retrained to serve children and adolescents . At that moment , I did not have a good answer for him . I think I was just dumbfounded . If I could turn back time , here 's what I would have said : " I believe a great psychiatrist is like a great teacher . Some teachers are professors . They are very good at teaching at the college level . Still others are fabulous preschool or kindergarten teachers who teach children at the beginning of their academic careers . The remaining teachers fall somewhere in between these two ends of the spectrum . We would never ask a kindergarten teacher to teach college students . It is just not her forté . Conversely , we would never ask a college professor to teach kindergarteners . He ( or she ) would fail miserably because he ( or she ) is not gifted in this arena . The same is true for gifted child and adolescent psychiatrists . They know children and adolescents best . They know how to develop a rapport with them . I 'm sure my daughter would not have wanted to see a doctor who she didn 't feel was able to relate to her . " I don 't fault this man . He may have never had experience with a child or teen with mental illness . That 's OK . My daughter may have given him a little education . Her mother will follow up as well . Stay tuned here as I delve more into the key issues presented at this conference . I 'll also keep you posted as I follow up with our legislators . Don 't worry though , there 's always a funny story lurking . After all , I am raising a drama queen . On part 1 of this series the day ended where Princess did not fall asleep until 11 : 30 . As you can imagine the next morning did not start out well . We were supposed to be in the hotel 's ballroom at 7 a . m . for breakfast and our final training . I pushed the envelope and let Princess sleep until 6 : 45 a . m . She was so tired that she kept putting her head down on the table during the training . She did surprise me though because she drank three glasses of orange juice . She never drinks OJ at home . But I digress . After almost two hours , we were asked to join up with other conference attendees from our respective states to coordinate taxis and see who we would be attending meetings with . California had ten people representing it . We discovered that all ten of us would be speaking to Dianne Feinstein 's and Barbara Boxer 's assistants . Then we would splinter off for meetings with our local representatives . Princess and I were to speak in Ed Royce 's office with a doctor from Davis , CA . Once we met the doctor from Davis , Dr . J . , I arranged with a mom I 'd met the previous night to share a cab to Capitol Hill . The leaders of AACAP encouraged us to take cabs to get to our first destination and to allow plenty of time for traffic and security at the various buildings . It turned out that we had about 45 minutes before we left the hotel . I used this time to freshen up . Princess used it to catch a little bit more shut eye . Finally , it was time for our taxi cab . Up until that moment , Princess had only ridden in a taxi twice before . Now she 's a veteran since we took a cab a few more times before leaving D . C . When we finally got called into the meeting room , her assistant had us go around the room to introduce ourselves . Princess proudly proclaimed , " My name is Princess . I have Bipolar Disorder , ADHD , and OCD and I like puppies and my friend Alex . " Shortly after this she decided it was time to try slipping a short nap in . This was one of those moments that I decided was not worth making a battle . She was quiet and not disturbing anyone so I let her be . In Senator Feinstein 's office , I shared how our family had personally been affected by the workforce shortage . One of the first psychiatrists that my daughter had seen almost five years ago had a huge caseload . As a result of this , we waited over 45 minutes for a five minute visit . There was no way my child could be adequately served in that amount of time . Fortunately for us we were eventually able to find the right doctor . Many in the U . S . do not have that luxury . Did you know that there are only 8 , 300 child and adolescent psychiatrists ? Our country needs approximately 30 , 000 to adequately meet the needs of the over 75 million children with mental health issues . The average wait time to see a child psychiatrist is 7 . 5 weeks . Can you imagine a child with any other life threatening illness having to wait that long to get the care he so desperately needs ? As introductions were once again said around the table , Princess added that she liked Barbies to hers . I almost died , but then I remembered that mental illness is just a part of her . My wise child already knows this and shared what else is a part of her . Thankfully at this meeting Princess just yawned but did not fall asleep . Embarrassing as that was I took it as a sign that she was perking up . I shared that the reason why we need mental health reform is to ensure that all mental health patients receive the same level of care regardless of whether they have private or government insurance . In our case , Princess was able to receive fabulous outpatient treatment after her first hospital stay because at the time we had private insurance . Less than a year later we had to put her on Medi - Cal , California 's government run insurance for low - income families . During the few months she was on it , she needed to be hospitalized again . Medi - Cal does not cover outpatient treatment so Princess was hospitalized three more times in two months . This actually costs the taxpayers more money not to mention the trauma it caused my family . If we had a system where care was coordinated , this would have never happened . At the end of this second meeting , we parted ways with our new friends , but stayed with Dr . J . so we could find the next building for our third meeting . Dr . J . was fabulous with Princess . Every time she complained about being cold , her feet hurting or anything else ; he just redirected her by asking her about books or movies she liked . The great thing about our last meeting was that since there were only three of us , we all got a turn to give our input without feeling rushed . This was the meeting that Princess really shined at . She had perked up and there weren 't as many adults present . She even took the time to share our Ronald Mc Donald House story . We made sure to let the assistant know that we were appreciative that Ed Royce had supported extending funding for another two years to the Children 's Health Insurance Program ( CHIP ) . This program provides matching funds to help families obtain medical insurance , who might not otherwise be able to afford it . It serves over 8 million children . Parents still pay a portion of this insurance , but it is supplemented by this federal program . Thankfully for Princess this was our last meeting of the day . Dr . J . invited us to go with him to speak to another representative he was scheduled to speak with later in the day . I felt that Princess had reached her limit for the day so I politely declined . AACAP had scheduled one last event on Capitol Hill , a group photo on the steps of the Capitol Building , but it wasn 't until an hour after our last meeting . We discovered that there was a newly opened visitors ' center there . Apparently so did a school group of about 100 teenagers . Dr . J . came to the rescue and asked the guards if our little group of three could go in ahead of this large group . They agreed , but no one told the chaperones we were going in first . As you can imagine it was a little chaotic . In the rush , Princess ' head got hit by the bar on the door . She was a little dazed but had no visible bruising . A guard ushered us into the nurse 's office for an ice pack , but the nurse was not there . Since Princess appeared to be doing alright , I suggested we just go to the gift shop . That was one of the best decisions I made that day . Princess found a shirt she liked and some free postcards to take back to her classmates . On Wednesday , April 22 , 2015 my daughter and I flew from Los Angeles , CA to Washington , D . C . to attend one of the most important events in her ten - year old life . We were slated to participate in the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 's ( AACAP ) annual legislative conference . We were joined by approximately 200 doctors , residents , fellows and other family members for the common cause of addressing mental health concerns on Capitol Hill . I am very qualified to speak on this topic because I have lived with someone who has a mental illness . First it was my parents and now my daughter . After we found our hotel , we had almost a day to adjust to being in a different time zone . AACAP prepared us very well for the task at hand . They sent us one - page briefs a few days in advance . They also hosted several training sessions at the host hotel . I , of course , read up on these briefs and even studied up a bit on the legislators my daughter and I were slated to visit that Friday . I wasn 't exactly sure how to prepare my daughter other than to tell her that she was going to be speaking to Congress . She was so cute , in the days and weeks leading up to or visit and even while we were in D . C . , she told anyone who would listen that she was going to speak to " Congress about mental health . " She wants to be a lawyer some day so this was perfect for her . During our first training , one of the doctors at our table suggested that Princess and I go up to the front with him to the mock meeting to tell our story . Since we were in the hotel 's spacious grand ballroom , we were given a clip on mic . Princess wanted one as well . I felt since she didn 't know the topic very well , it wouldn 't be prudent for her to be miked so I dismissed her . While we were on stage , Princess added her two cents about " Not wasting money like my mom always says . " That sealed the deal . After that , Princess was a star . All of the doctors told her she was so brave and that they were so proud of her . I should have listened to her in the first place . After that afternoon 's training , we went back to the hotel room to rest before our big evening . We had been invited to dinner by the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance as a way of thanking us and other parents who volunteer at A Balanced Mind Parent Network . There were a few things that stood out at this dinner . Even though it was loud , Princess had her blingy noise canceling headphones and her iPad so she tolerated the noise really well . Secondly all three children , ranging in age from 10 - 19 chose Mac N Cheese for their entrée selection . Some things never change . Lastly , on the way back to our hotel one of the moms lent Princess her heavy coat since this mom , me , didn 't realize that 60 degrees in D . C . is not the same as 60 degrees in CA . Oops ! We were pretty done after our dinner and headed up to our room to catch some shut - eye only a certain little person couldn 't fall asleep until 11 : 30 p . m . Even on a school night this is a bad idea . Stay tuned to see what happened the next morning . . . . Princess : Well I 've been thinking . You know how I was always a Daddy 's Girl ? I think I am now a Mommy 's Girl . And then my heart melted . I assured her that she could love both her father and me equally , but she insisted that she loved me more . On that day , I did not argue with her . I just basked in the sun of this new found revelation of my daughter 's . For many moms hearing their child say those three little words , " I love you " , eventually will still melt their hearts , but they do lose some of their novelty , specialness if you will . I think I will cherish them a bit longer than most . It 's not because my daughter is nonverbal . It 's because she was so unstable for many years . There were many times that this precious child screamed , " I HATE YOU . " At the time , it hurt to hear that phrase even though I knew it wasn 't how she really felt . She was angry and confused at the time . One day when she was upset with me over a homework battle , she etched the words , " I HATE MOM . " onto our kitchen table . I shed a few tears over that one . We still have the table with those spiteful words embedded in it . My husband has not sanded them out yet . I 'm not sure I ever want him to . They serve as a memorial of sorts . They remind me of how far my daughter has come . Gone are the days of aggression . Gone are the days when I had to lock myself in my bedroom in order to be safe from my own child . Gone are the days when my child was someone I did not enjoy being around . Gone are the words " I hate you mom ! " . Those ugly , dark days have been replaced with cuddles . With random shouts of " I love you ! " With my precious girl telling me that she loves me more than her dad . Recently in the midst of so much joy and peace , I asked this reborn child of mine why she used to say that she hated me . She explained that she never really hated me , she hated the way she was feeling . She was confused and had to take it out on someone . Since her life was in such a turmoil and she did not have the words for what she was feeling , it was easier to lash out at me . This was at a birthday celebration for me . The restaurant was too loud for Princess so she wore her noise canceling headphones . Obviously she still enjoyed being with her mommy . * Please note : A different version of this appeared on The Mighty as well .
|
Dr . Bright sat in the middle of the Cafeteria , the old fashioned computer set before him . Atop said computer was a certain statue of a certain monkey , which many people had tried to obtain . Around him stood , sat , or otherwise existed quite a large number of the junior staff , with a few seniors , all eyes glued to the good doctor . " And … save . There we go . The entirety of site 19 , backed up , and emailed elsewhere , so if this goes as balls up as I expect it to , we can reboot . " He sighed , and stood up . " In that case , I officially declare the beginning of the Staff Prank war of 2011 . Whoever holds 050 at the end of a 24 hour period will be promoted to the ranks of Senior Staff . I currently hold it , so y ' all can start by pranking me … May god have mercy on all our souls . " Dmitri studied his reflection for a moment , adjusted the angle of his hat , then exited his quarters . The heel irons in his boots clicked on the linoleum floors as he walked briskly through the halls of Site 19 . Those going about their daily business knew to stay out of the way when Strelnikov was about ; his movements had purpose , and that could only mean a disaster was looming . Before he even knew it , he was reading the nametag on her door . Or rather , he was reading her name amongst a list of other assistants who shared this office . As he kicked the door off its hinges , he decided it didn 't really matter whose office it was . His boots left dents in the sheet metal as he stepped over the broken door and surveyed the group of cowering interns , hand resting casually on his holster . " I WILL SHOOT ONE OF YOU EVERY MINUTE UNTIL I AM TOLD WHICH ONES OF YOU IS REND FIELD . " The group parted like the Red Sea , leaving a smug looking young girl standing alone in the center . Dmitri 's teeth shone as he growled at her . " Dmitri , you can 't just shoot whoever is holding the monkey and expect to get it . That isn 't a prank . " Bright 's wheelchair bumped into the back of Dmitri 's leg as he manhandled it around . " And get out of the damn way . " " Dmitri . It 's over . You 're out of the competition now , for good . Now if you 'll excuse me , I have to go deal with Renfield in the infirmary … . smug little bitch . You could have at least killed her . " Renfield moaned in her sleep , the drugs having her knocked out completely . The nurse hooked up the IV bag , checked the prone woman 's vitals , and left the room . Within three minutes Renfield 's skin started to develop large , round hives , then her neck and throat started to swell as a severe allergic reaction set in , followed by her eyes shooting open as the stimulants hit her bloodstream . She tried to scream but couldn 't , her throat beginning to close as she desperately hit the call button again and again and again … Lament opened his door , looking into his office and smiling slightly at the statue . Now … How the hell could he get rid of it before someone noticed that he had it ? Few people had a true appreciation for just how ingrained computers were with every single aspect of modern society , and the Foundation was no exception . Despite all the hard copies , every report , every researcher 's note , every field log and every file photo was logged into a computer database somewhere . Every personnel transfer , every requisition form , every security feed , all set up in little 0 's and 1 's on a hard drive somewhere . When the transfer of Site 19 's backup set off some alarms , he knew it was time . Kap - a name adopted because he was sick of people mispronouncing his full name - was sitting and typing away deep in the bowels of the Site . The coders and hardware gurus had a whole , unique set of regulations and security clearances , and the amount of information you were exposed to above your classification level was directly proportional to your time on the job . The guys that ran the networks and made sure the workstations functioned knew more than most of the researchers , though maybe not as much as that one janitor . Once he realized that a mixed batch of saline and known allergens could only be used for the ever - escalating prank contests , a few key strokes were all it took to set retaliation in motion . A series of embedded programs ticked off other protocols which activated further batch processes . The sheer array of false IPs and bogus addresses would take the average user months to back - trace , and any of the other computer staff were already well - bribed with beer , pizza , and the promise of a neat and orderly work area . Lament opened the door to his office , seeing a single , solitary box laying there , carefully gift - wrapped and tied with a neat bow . It wasn 't even close to his birthday , but there was no way any sort of bomb or other device could have made it that deep into a secure Foundation site , so he took it inside and opened it up . Dr . Los E . R . checked the sign again . Eisenberg 's office was room … 321 ? No , wait , 312 . He set off at a brisk pace down the hallway , hoping to get there before anyone else did . 309 , 310 , 311 … There we go , 312 . Los E . R . gave a quick knock and pushed the door open without waiting for a reply . Researcher Eisenberg visibly balked at the sudden intrusion , his eyes darting to the statue on his desk before reaching for the top drawer . " Whoa whoa whoa ! Calm down , I 'm not going to do anything ! " Los E . R . held his palms out . " See ? Sorry , didn 't think you 'd be so jumpy . " " Word around the site is that you got 1006 to net Kap . Just wanted to say , that 's brilliant ! No one ever expects nets ! " Los E . R . chuckled to himself . " Oh , don 't worry about me . I 'm not going to pull some horrendous prank . I 'd probably end up in the hospital , I 've never been really good at elaborate pranks . " Los E . R . burst out laughing , leaning on the desk for support . " You had them tattoo a portrait of Lenin ? ! That 's genius ! How does someone come up with something like that ? ! Oh man , I 'd never pull something like that off , I 'm no good with those elaborate pranks . Did you actually talk to those little commies yourself ? " Eisenberg smiled and chuckled nervously . " Yeah , it wasn 't too hard to get them to agree . I mean , it was Lenin after all . Talking to a bunch of spiders though … that was kinda creepy . They were all over the place . " " I can tell . You 've got a cobweb on your coat , here let me … " Los E . R . reached forward and scratched at Eisenbergs lapel . On instinct , he glanced down to catch a glimpse of the bit of silk wafting from his collar , only to get a flick on the nose . He turned around , clutching the monkey statue to his chest , as a breathtakingly ugly middle - aged man walked down the hall towards him . " Relax , " Clef said . " I don 't want that statue . I 'm already senior staff , and I have no interest in Bright 's games . You 're safe from me . " Los E . R . sighed in relief . " Oh , thank god , " he said . " I really did not want to be subject to a prank by you . " " Hey , don 't worry about it . I 'm beyond that sort of bullshit anyway . I always thought that stuff was kinda stupid . In fact , as a sign of my goodwill , I 'll escort you back to your office . " Los E . R . quickly followed Clef down the hallway . It was amazing , he thought , what the presence of that man could do . A researcher leaped out from around the corner holding a giant creme pie , which he rapidly put down and walked away from . A man wearing a hockey mask and holding a machete took off his costume and had a sheepish talk with the Senior Researcher . It was wonderful . " No problem . Oh , Los ? Remember when I said I had no interest in Bright 's games ? " Clef grinned , a huge , evil , sinister grin . " I lied . " Ed from Accounting ( everyone thought of him as " Ed from Accounting " - including himself after 14 years at the job ) hated the prank wars . A waste of staff time , the building maintenance budget , and the cost of injuries , if you asked him … which no one did . The usual threats - paperwork , budget cuts , audits - never seemed to work . More creative means were called for . Fifteen minutes later , Johnson was in Ed 's dingy , cluttered office , handing him a small brown bag . Ed looked in the bag and smiled . " How long will it stay that way ? " Ed put the bag in his briefcase , along with a small stack of papers . 12 : 20 ? Good . Adams would be off to lunch . He headed up to her office . Ed knocked on the door , then let himself in . Good , no one there . It was easy to swap the item on Adams ' desk for the one in the bag . He slipped the Form 1661 - G under the inner door for Dr . Clef . That would excuse his visit ; the auditors really did need it next week . Back downstairs in his office , Ed opened a file cabinet and dropped SCP - 050 , still in its bag , next to the 2004 Operating Budget reports . It looked like someone 's long - forgotten lunch . He didn 't care the least bit about " winning " it - he just wanted it out of circulation . Research Assistant Reject was having a nice , calm day , sipping his coffee and skimming through his newest batch of paperwork while strolling down the hallway to his office . He was called Reject for a very good reason : although he had been a member of the Foundation for ten years , he had been the same rank for over seven of them . He even called himself Reject . His bachelorhood had hopelessly dragged on much longer than he had ever hoped . He was used to being a reject . That was , until he spotted a man in a suit walking into Dr . Clef 's office . Reject was never known as an especially observant person , but today was different . He had heard about some pranks going on , but he didn 't really care about any of that . He was determined to work his way up the ladder without shaving cream or explosives , just with hard work and dedication . Until he saw a very happy man running out of Dr . Clef 's office , his arms crossed upon his chest . Reject could see a brown paper bag bobbing slightly above and below the man 's arms . His interest piqued , Reject decided to follow him . The man never turned around as he walked . Reject didn 't have any trouble following him . Ten minutes later , Reject realized just how far they had walked . He turned his head . " Accounting - > " was written on a sign , pointing in the direction that he was going . After another couple of minutes , the man turned sharply into an office . Reject peeked into the room to see another man converse shortly with the man he had followed and take the bag . Reject ducked behind a corner as both men exited the office . Reject attempted to follow the man with the bag , but lost him in the maze of cubicles and offices in this unknown sector . Reject turned to leave , but decided not to let this go . This chance was his . He called up an old friend from Sector 28 with a favor to ask . His friend agreed , and in an hour , Reject knew that he would have the chance to become a Senior Staff member . He went to his office and placed an empty coffee mug alongside a mostly unread folder of paperwork . One hour later , Reject met his friend in the cafeteria . Reject 's friend handed him a bag with two words written on it . " DON ' T LOSE . " Reject smiled , and walked briskly down towards the accounting offices . Once there , he took the item out of the bag . Staring at a sentient calculator was a new experience for him . After befriending SCP - 168 , he asked his new buddy a favor . The calculator agreed in return for the ability to see the rest of the prank war . Reject dropped SCP - 168 in the office he had seen before as soon as the man inhabiting it left . Reject admired his handiwork . He took a seat on a nearby chair . When the man returned , he gave Reject a questioning glance , but dismissed it . After five minutes in his office , a scream was heard . When the man exited his office , his face was pale white . In his hand was SCP - 168 . The man looked at the calculator and said " Okay , okay . I 'll go get it . I didn 't realize the world would end if I didn 't ! I feel so awful … " Reject chuckled to himself and began to shadow the man as he hurried down the hallways . When they arrived at a file cabinet , the man stopped . He ran his finger along the cabinet until he reached " 2004 Operating Budget Reports Jan - Mar . " He started typing on the calculator . After a short period , the calculator responded . The man jumped back , aghast . He yelped " No ! I brought you to the stupid monkey ! That can 't be ! " Reject quickly decided he 'd had enough of complaining from this unknown man and dealt a swift uppercut to the jaw followed by an elbow to the nose . As he fell , Reject grabbed SCP - 168 and the brown paper bag . Overjoyed , he began to walk back to his office . He looked once more at the unconscious accountant on the ground . And then he laughed , and left this bloody , deceptive business behind him as he strolled back towards his office with a renewed sense of confidence . " Nevah let practicality stand in de way of art , my cousin . " The humongously fat Hawaiian nodded ponderously at the uniformed corpse held aloft in his hand , then slowly shook it so that it 's head nodded along . Chuckling to himself , he slipped the matchbook the poor guard had died failing to protect into an outer pocket of his enormous satchel next to a tarnished canteen , and waddled out of the ruined containment unit and down the hallway toward the personnel wing . Flanked by a pair of traitor guards , their sleeves rolled up to reveal liberty cuffs emblazoned with blaring abstract designs , the huge man reflected on the work and planning that had gone into this effort . It was impractical , sure . Infiltrating the Foundation 's security forces alone had taken months . Fortunately , the prank war was a regular yearly event , so he 'd had plenty of time to prepare . It didn 't take long to tape the tubing to the mouth of the canteen , and slide the other end under the door . It took only a little longer to funnel the contents of the packets into the gap , and considerably less to open the matchbook and slide it in as well before sealing the gap completely with more tape . Once their work was done , the big man rose and nodded to his companions , then paused to doodle a small cartoon on the door before heading back down the hallway they 'd come in by and leave the facility . Dr . Los E . R . dug a finger in his ear , trying to dig out the last vestiges of shaving cream . He winced as the dried bits twisted painfully before crumbling lose . Site 19 was a maze on the best of days , and on Senior Staff Shenanigans day it was a minefield . He rerouted around the third floor ; he had heard that someone had gotten their hands on a metric ton of hissing cockroaches and thermite . He skirted the south side of the fourth floor , trying to find his way back to the restrooms to wash up . If memory served , it was at the end of the hall on his right , next door to where they put Research Assistant Reject after he somehow managed to shrink his office to a third of its original size . He was scrapping dried flakes of cream from his lower back when he noticed he what he was walking in . Quizzically , he raised a foot to get a better look . Smells a little like lime , kind of minty . Looks like some kind of green … slime ? He glanced down the hallway and saw Reject , lying in a puddle of the stuff . He was either out cold , or dea - Bruddah Grove paused as the klaxon sounded . Blast doors slid into place over the exit . How poetic , so close to freedom with artifacts of power . With the dead security guard he had been dragging along , he waved at his companion . The traitorous guard shook his head , the blood draining from his face . " That 's the 447 alert . They 've locked the exits . They 're going to detonate the on - site warhead . " The two guards looked at each other nervously . " We don 't . We could try to get to the O5 bunker , but we can 't make it from here . It 's fifty levels down - " " Wait ! " The other guard perked up . " The Site septic tank ! I know that they 've started reenforcing them ever since Bright accidentally flushed 523 . It might be able to withstand the blast ! " O5 - 8 sighed . This was not the first time the 447 alert had been sounded on Senior Staff Shenanigans Day . Before flipping the switch and killing everyone on - site , he took a moment to make sure it was a dead body . If it wasn 't , no harm done . If it was , well … the nuke wouldn 't do any good , anyways . A quick check later confirmed that Research Assistant Reject was not , in fact , dead . Perhaps more importantly , it turned out that it wasn 't even 447 slime at all . With an irritated grumble , he switched of the klaxon . This prank war was stupid . Bruddah Grove sat in the filth of the entire Site , watching his two companions float face down in the lanterns pale light . He might be here for a while , and they were using up too much air . He reflected on how their lungs filled with filth and life drained from their bodies , a testament to how life starts pure and ignorance weighs innocence down with shit . A haiku rose unbidden from his lips . Dr . Los E . R . felt rather silly . Of course it was another prank . He should have known . It probably wasn 't even meant for him . Having long since given up hope of finding a bathroom to clean up in , he had started to work his way back to his office . Pushing the door open , a bucket of water immediately fell from atop the door . Irritated yet strangely grateful to get some kind of wash , he lifted the rim of the bucket to find the monkey sitting on his desk . Junior Researcher Byantara had prepared a whole week in advance for this day . With Senior Staff position at stake , there was no reason not to be prepared . Crazy prepared , in his case . One day , two hours , and exactly forty - nine seconds ago , Byantara finished his lab work , packed up , cleaned Chamber 2A - 2 - 1 and secured several large marital aids to the floor before locking up . He proceeded similarly for Chamber 2A - 2 - 3 , - 2 - 5 , - 2 - 7 and - 2 - 9 , and left the building with a little smile . Now , all that was left was to hope someone in Block 2A actually managed to get hold of 050 . One hour , three minutes and twenty - one seconds ago , he idly browsed through the frantically compiled digital record of SCP - 050 possession . Soon it would arrive . From Bright , to Clef , to Reject … Byantara refreshed the page , spat out his acrid coffee , and dashed out of the lab . In his right hand was a remote , with a single green button , and he mashed it in double time to his steps towards the central communications office . Tucked in safely mere inches above the ceiling of Doctor Los 's freshly painted office , forty - eight plastic phalluses began to hum . As expected , not only was the comms office a very long distance away , it was also utter chaos . Someone had sounded some sort of alarm beforehand , and whoever was meant to be guarding the place were long gone , leaving dog - eared papers in their wake . Chuckling to himself , he called up the speaker of Office 2A - 3 - 5 . Five seconds . Four seconds . Byantara cleared his throat . Three . The collective vibrations caused by the forty - eight sex toys would be building up to the maximum by now , shaking the ceiling - and walls - of every office on the floor below it , rupturing the many little sachets of tomato juice seeded in the plaster beneath the apple - scented white paint . Two . " Bloody Los … Surprised that even worked as a prank … " Researcher Eisenberg sat at his desk , absentmindedly stroking Nastasia , his linen cat . " I 'll teach him to cut the latin … wait , that 's an idea . " . About an hour later - languages weren 't exactly his strong side - Researcher Eisenberg arrived into the containment cell of SCP - 758 , with a sheet of paper heavily worn out with eraser marks . It might have been his imagination , but it seemed that upon seeing it , Vasili let out a sigh before introducing an ample amount of corrections . A glance at the current tally showed him however , that the statue has changed owners several times since he started his preparations , currently residing at the desk of some no - name Junior Researcher … whose name was actually rather lengthy . " Byan - ta - ra … bloody hell , and I thought my surname was unwieldy . " Researcher Eisenberg sighed and took out a pencil . " Bloody hell , hope this ink is black enough … " His sweaty hands grabbed the worn leather of SCP - 141 , an act that would make many a bibliophile cringe , and he began to laboriously scribble onto the first free page , trying to imitate the original writing as well as possible . " . . e - ra - tio … that should be it " . Shaking with expectation , he ran to the nearest internet - enabled terminal . Sitting at his desk , Junior Researcher Byantara was enjoying the fruit of a day 's work - SCP - 050 stood on his surprisingly clean table , and if it was his lucky day , he might just about be among the few Foundation employees to ever skip a rank . " Wonder if Los has caught them all … he 's lucky there isn 't 151 . . I wonder if the big one counts as Sn - " " Hey buddy , I see no one has bothered to come see you today . I 'm sorry for that , alot of shi . . stuff has been going on , but it 's fun stuff . You know what a prank is ? Good , you wanna help me with one ? Oh don 't worry no one will get hurt , and here have some MnMs . Tasty aren 't they ? You wanna help me now . That 's great ! Here 's the plan . " As he watched the gelatinous form move from the room , a smile formed on Junior Researcher Tad 's face . It was his time to shine for once . It was luck that he walked by Eisenberg 's office just in time to see the statue appear on his desk . Eisenberg sipped at his tea , giving glances to his prize every few seconds . He also kept an eye on the door . Making sure that no fool would try to win the statue . If only he thought to check the airvent . As the orange form lowered down , it 's pseudopods at the ready . Eisenberg looked up ; Even with the strong smell of herbs in his nose he picked up another scent . The smell of the fur was indistinguishable to him , yet how could it be ? As he turned around a high pitched squealed erupted followed by a shout . The statue appeared alongside Tad at his cubicle . He was going to enjoy the next few minutes , than probably regret getting involved in the first place . At least his desk looked organized for once . As Tad passed through an open door , the bucket teetering there fell forward , onto his head . Have you even had your entire head covered , not just in horse shit , but horse shit filled with horrible ideas ? It 's not a pleasant feeling . Luckily , Tad passed out before something horrible crawled out of SCP - 100 - J . Father Jakal looked up from his prayers , at the monkey statue which had appeared on his podium . A slight smile graced his lips . " Fuck , i didn 't think that 'd really work ! " Dr Pullo Vorenus , Level 2 Researcher and Safe item specialist , paused as he walked past Site - 19 's nondenominational multipurpose chapel - crematorium - ossuary . As far as he could tell , priests didn 't usually swear like that in church . At least , the priests back home hadn 't . Except for Father Kowalski . When he was drunk . He poked his head in , and saw Father Jakal stroking a small statue . Then he ran to his small , shared office . After an hour or so of research , Doctor Vorenus was ready . He stopped by the Safe item storage lockers , and checked out a certain item , under the guise of " additional research on the effects of the object when combined with religious exultation and tagiatelle " . A quick trip to the Site cafeteria , and the acquisition of some high - powered arc lights , and he was done . After telling the priest that his presence had been requested in the depths of the accounting department , he was ready to prepare . Father Jakal returned , still clutching the statue with a death grip . He seemed determined that nobody separate him from 050 from even a moment . As he entered the multipurpose nondenominational chapel - crematorium - ossuary , the door slammed shut and a heavenly light shone down on him from On High . He fell to his knees as a voice from Above called out into his mind , " Father Jakal , thou hast been chosen . " As he knelt gasping , trying to for a coherent sentence , the Voice continued , " Thou shalt be My prophet on this earth . I shall show thee My true form , that thou may tell of Me to all thy fellows . " The lights brightened , and Father Jakal shaded his eyes , cowering even further before the Lord his God . All the lights in the chapel shut off suddenly , and a form appeared above him in the rafters , lit from within . As he looked up , in full religious exultation , something fell onto his shoulder and slid to the floor with a plop . " Thou hast been touched by My Noodly Appendage . Rejoice . And eat thy grains . " Doctor Vorenus smiled , as he heard Father Jackal stomp out and call for a janitor . After putting the megaphone back in its locker , he returned to his shared office , and found his half meticulously cleaned . The precise line between the dirty and clean carpet might be hard to explain to his office - mate , but he was sure he could figure it out . After all , he was Doctor Pullo Vorenus , Level 2 Researcher , Safe Item Specialist , current owner of a small statue , and devout Pastafarian . It was an interesting day for Mess Hall 2 . In the chaos of Prank Day , it had somehow transformed itself into both an eatery , sanctuary , and now makeshift medical treatment centre as a very injured Junior Researcher Byantara was wheeled in , dripping from Soviet bullets and blood . This did not do much justice to Doctor Vorenus 's appetite , as he dropped his forkful of meatballs and linguini to gaze at what was - snigger - a man more holey than even himself . Strelnikov had not been kind on the trigger , and had been much less kinder to that " mother - fuck Chechen collaborator " Byantara . Poor guy looked as if he were covered in the bolognaise sauce that drenched Vorenus 's plate . Eugh . Elsewhere in Block 2A , forty - eight sex toys relentlessly continued to buzz , rattling the beams and shaking paint off the ceilings . A jostle , a twitch , and one clear plastic vibrator popped loose of its bolts , rattled across the floor and came to rest in a corner with a sharp click . There was a hissing noise as the micronised nuclear reactor powered up , resonating the device at a shrill hypersonic whine . Indeed , Byantara had prepared for the worst by including an ace up his blood - stained , bullet - hole - ridden sleeve . It was when Vorenus had nearly finished his pasta that the ceiling of Mess Hall began to shake , dropping white frosty flakes into his plate . Nearby , Byantara was halfway through having bullets extracted from his groin by a doctor . Despite the pain , he managed to glance a look at Doctor Vorenus , current holder of SCP - 050 , as weighty chunks of ceiling plaster buried the pastor of pasta . 682 just stood there , blocking escape from the deserted hallway . The silence between researcher and monster stretched forever , until Byantara made a move to leave . As soon as he did , he was quickly swallowed whole . The eaten man tumbled down the nightmare 's stomach , splashing into a disgusting ooze . With no security clearence , being a guard for the Foundation could be a very boring job . Typically , Fortis was stuck manning the security feeds . The most monotonous of assignments . On Senior Staff Shenanigans day , however , it had certain advantages . He had everything on hand , just needed the right mark in the right place . When he saw Agent Wolf , J . R . Byantara , and SCP - 408 in Corridor 2 - B he knew he had just enough time to pull it off . He took a second to locate the office SCP - 050 had appeared in before springing to action . . Fortis quickly changed into the red military uniform he had nearby , slathered his face with stage makeup , and donned the appropriate gloves and hat . He grabbed the can of paint stashed behind the door and headed out of the room . Finally , he made his way down the hall to pick up a container of Play - Doh , and rushed to SCP - 786 . Fortis couldn 't help but smile to himself as he reentered Site 19 's Surviellance Room . He changed back into his uniform and stached the red one . He had already washed off the paint , all that was left was to make sure no one else entered the area . He idly examined the monkey statue that was waiting for him on the console , slightly bemused at the thought of a junior guard entering the ranks of Senior Staff . " I freaking love these tomatoes . " Veldi checked the video feed to his office . Yup , there was the monkey , on his desk . Of course , there was the issue that he now had a PC instead of a MacBook … As soon as the prank wars started , SCP - 738 was Junior Researcher Gille 's first destination . It followed contracts steadily , nevermind the side consequences . Nothing he was going to do would harm him THAT much . Second destination : The Senior Break room . From there , it would be rigged with 20 paintball guns , all set to fire when the sensor picks up movement in a circle around the Monkey . Then , when someone inevitably gets pelted , he walks in and grabs the Monkey . Fourth destination : SCP - 682 's storage area . Considering it 's been let free , but it 's still the safest place on the site , that should be a logical place to store it . Hidden in the third drawer of his desk , however , are 3 pistols , fully loaded no less , with 5 clips , and rations to last 2 days . It pays to be prepared for this day . " I 'm sure . Now you know that one of our little annual celebrations is coming up soon , and it occured to me that one or more of my colleagues may come to you for help . I would appreciate it if you might extend me certain professional courtesies around that . " " Of course not ! Wouldn 't think of it . But perhaps you could take , let 's say , the broadest possible interpretation of the agreed - upon terms . " " Interesting . Not at all what I 'd expected . And I must say that , while I 'm flattered that you offer , I 'm very happy to work for the Foundation , and don 't contemplate a change anytime soon . Let me make a proposal of my own . In exchange for the aforesaid professional courtesies leading to temporary possession … " Across the site , in a specially rigged broom closet , Junior Researcher Gille watches the Senior Break room on screen , then 682 's pen , then his office , then back to the break room . Nothing . Wait . Something . Something rushes into the room , something about knee - high and very fast , something with a single bright blue eye in the middle of its bulbous yellow body . It 's dribbling a smaller object in front of it like a soccer ball . As it pauses on the periphery of the circle of paintball guns , the " ball " comes to rest . It 's a statuette of a monkey . Researcher Veldi runs into the room , panting and red - faced . The Eye - Pod skitters away from him . Veldi lunges , and a chase ensues around the edges of the room , with the Eye - Pod and the monkey always staying just out of Veldi 's reach . After four circuits of the room , the Eye - Pod makes a sudden break to the right . Veldi leaps , trying to tackle it , and trips over his own feet . On the floor , he hears a series of clicks followed immediately by splatting sounds , and wonders for a moment if he somehow missed some tomatoes . He picks himself up , and observes that the walls of the break room have a new paint job in the style of Jackson Pollock . The Eye - Pod scurries out of the break room and heads down a corridor , rolling the monkey down the hall still . Gille jumps up from his seat and sprints down the hall . He figures if he goes down corridor 37 , then makes a sharp right just before the firehose he can head them off - yes ! Here they are , and he 's just a pace behind Veldi . He drops his head and starts running as fast as he can . The researchers sprint after the Eye - Pod , neither gaining any real advantage or getting any closer . They follow it now left , now right , now a long straightaway and into a dead end , a small chamber at the end of a long corridor . Gille jumps on the monkey and Veldi jumps on Gille . They grapple on the floor , neither noticing the Eye - Pod backing out of the room until they hear the door start to close . Gille looks up just in time to notice a third figure in the room : humanoid , but made of concrete and covered in spray paint . Katz notes the monkey statue that now sits atop his empty inbox . He 's already senior staff , but his secretary is out sick and nobody from the temp pool can seem to ever type up his briefs just the way he likes them . He looks through the stack of neatly - formatted documents before him and nods in satisfaction . Yes , the devil will have his due , but he does love a nice - looking brief . Worth it . " Excuse me , young man , could I ask a favor ? Someone left this in my office and they need it for a team - building exercise in the main cafeteria . Just take it up there and someone will show you what to do next . " Doctor Briar sighed , looking over the contents of his small office . It had been a long , hard road to get here . So many times , he 'd thought he would die . So many times , he had lost what he thought of as " everything " , only to build himself up so he would have something else to lose when the time came again . It had certainly not been easy , but he 'd managed , somehow … He always wished it could have been easier , though . If only there had been some way he could have made his journey to a respected member of senior staff without having to endure so much suffering . Of course , he had only been a low - level recruit in the Foundation when they stopped holding the Staff Prank Wars . He had heard of them , of course , and how the cleverest member of the Foundation 's personnel stood to be raised to Senior Staff for winning . It was truly a shame that he had been so new when they held the last of them , an all but nameless lab assistant , not trusted with anything more important than proofreading documents … but then , that was his advantage , wasn 't it ? Briar smiled , looking at the assembled items and documents sitting on his desk . At the top of the pile was a death certificate . Just another Foundation employee that had finally met his end , but to the elderly man at the desk , an opportunity . After all , permanent ownership didn 't extend past death . Most importantly , however , was the small locked box on top of the pile . There were so many anomalous objects with temporal effects in Foundation custody that they hardly bothered to catalogue them all . No one would notice he had " borrowed " SCP - █████ among a batch of other research materials , and the letter he planned to mail would not be going anywhere that it would be looked for . Chuckling to himself , Doctor Briar took out a fountain pen , and began to write . Years earlier , a much younger version of the same man breathed heavily , hiding in a cubical and shaking . In his hand he held a much - folded piece of heavy parchment , written upon in flowing calligraphy . Nervous , he muttered the words aloud as he re - read the page , " Volunteer to assist in accounting . Short - staffed due to people calling in sick to avoid the contest . Agree to witness a contract . False name . Render null and void … " He shook his head in disbelief , dizzy with the implications . It couldn 't be that easy , could it ? Of course , he had barely dared believe what he held in his hands until the prank war began to unfold , exactly as the note claimed it would . Still , it seemed too good to be true . A deal with the Devil shouldn 't be so simple to thwart , even if it wasn 't really the Devil . Of course , the plan wasn 't over yet . Just botching Katz 's deal wouldn 't much of a prank by itself , after all . Steeling himself , the younger Briar stepped out of the cubical , and announced that he was going on his lunch break . As he entered into the corridor , he put on a ring , and pulled out the small electronic device from his pocket . At the doors of the cafeteria , a young researcher was stopped by a polite cough . He turned , his face guileless and smiling . A dark - haired man snatched the bundle out of his hands before he had a moment to react . " Oh , thank goodness I caught you in time ! I am SO sorry ! It seems that my colleague gave you the wrong article by mistake . This is the one they need in there . " A small device was pressed into the researcher 's hands . He babbled for a few moments about how glad he was to help , and how sorry he was that the other man had to chase him all the way here . Briar , in turn , made his excuses , politely stating that it was no trouble , but he really had to get back to work . He gave the hapless researcher some basic instructions on how to set up the device , and told him to just " get it started for them " . As he hurried to return SCP - 399 to containment , he could hear his modified MP3 player begin to loop Rick Astley 's most famous composition with enough bass to shake the light fixtures . The altered lyrics , bragging of the genius of one Sheldon Katz , could just barely be made out from where he stood . Since he didn 't have an office , Briar made a note to check his locker later on . Veldi breathed a sigh of relief . " Well , that was fun . Next time , let 's check doors before going in them . Don 't want Blinky to be let out . " Gille was shivering from the experience . Veldi leaned down . " Oh , by the way … I think ahead . " He pointed out that the wall opposite 173 's containment had been painted red . Gille was still in a stupor , so Veldi walked away and pressed a button on his phone . A tinny , electronic voice came from above the door : " Leggo my Eggo - carrying Lego Winnebago full of - " The sound was cut short by a wall of tomato juice . Veldi checked the video feed on his phone again . Yep , the monkey was on his desk . He figured that he should set some more traps so that it wouldn 't stay away for long . He hurried to his supplies . Click here to edit contents of this page . Click here to toggle editing of individual sections of the page ( if possible ) . Watch headings for an " edit " link when available . Append content without editing the whole page source . Check out how this page has evolved in the past . If you want to discuss contents of this page - this is the easiest way to do it . View and manage file attachments for this page . A few useful tools to manage this Site . See pages that link to and include this page . Change the name ( also URL address , possibly the category ) of the page . View wiki source for this page without editing . View / set parent page ( used for creating breadcrumbs and structured layout ) . Notify administrators if there is objectionable content in this page . Something does not work as expected ? Find out what you can do . General Wikidot . com documentation and help section . Wikidot . com Terms of Service - what you can , what you should not etc . Wikidot . com Privacy Policy .
|
Posted on March 15 , 2013 by Dawn Akemi 11 " So , how about some pie , ladies ? " I said as I set down a dessert menu . They both groaned and laughed with a huffing wheeze as I organized empty plates , scraped ( almost licked ) clean , into a stack . This after they exclaimed with wide eyes how huge the cobb salad and blue cheese burger with coleslaw looked . I gestured to some indistinct place around my kidney . " Well , you know there 's a special dessert space in our stomachs waiting to be filled , no matter how full the other side gets . " I smiled . " I 'll leave you with the dessert menu just to satisfy your curiosity . Besides pie , we have a white chocolate raspberry cheesecake that 's to die for . " I picked up their dirty dishes and walked away . " Something creamy would be nice . I like banana cream . But really , pick whatever you like , " said Woman On My Right with a wave of her hand . " I 'm afraid you can 't read my stuff then . It 's all online , " I said . Then , noticing his disappointed expression , I added , " Maybe I 'll print out a sample and bring it in . " I said this knowing I didn 't want to bring in any of my writing . I think I opened up to My Favorite Busboy because I knew he didn 't have a computer or a smartphone and , therefore , would have difficulty finding me online . I like him and it was a low risk sharing of me . I don 't like feeling the need to be cagey , but I keep a low profile about my writing at my day - job . It 's not just cuz many of my blog stories are inspired by my day - job and someone may take offense at my observations . I recently published my first ebook , An Encounter With Death , a short story which explores themes of sex and suicide . Those don 't exactly qualify for " office " shop - talk . Discussing the finer points of deep despair or how sex can be a loving , healing exchange between two people are not exactly fodder for snippets spoken while cutting slices of pie . Hot off the online presses : An Encounter With Death . After a series of emotional setbacks , Vanessa , is filled with despair . She decides to take control of her destiny , but like her life , nothing turns out as planned . Wanting to meet her maker , she instead has an encounter with Death . A magical tale of the power of love to heal . Available for $ . 99 at Smashwords and Amazon . A perfect example of why I feel a need to be so careful at work happened recently . It was a busy Saturday night . I had a full station of 8 tables , two of which had just been sat and were wondering where their waitress was . I had two bill books in my hand with credit cards to run for tables who were anxious to leave . I was standing at Table 54 with four customers taking their order . One woman ordered a gorgonzola salad . " I have a nut allergy , so could you take out the pecans and add extra cheese . " " Of course , " I said . I took the rest of the orders , greeted my two waiting tables , got their drink orders , and rushed to the computer . When I wrote up the order for the woman at Table 54 , I clearly stated , " NO PECANS SUB EXTRA CHEESE . " After I finished the rest of the orders and ran the credit cards , I looked for one of the managers to tell them about the special order , which I knew was important . We were so slammed , I couldn 't find anyone . I looked into the kitchen window to talk to the cooks . " Hey , guys , I got a special order for Table - " Later , I saw the manager delivering the gorgonzola salad to Table 54 . When she finished her delivery , I flagged her down . " Did you make sure the salad had no pecans ? " I asked . Satisfied , I went on with my service . Moments later , I noticed the woman was gone from her table . I dropped everything I needed to do to ask if everything was okay . A dining partner said , " There were nuts in the salad . She had a reaction . " " I 'm so sorry . The kitchen said there weren 't any nuts . Lemme get a manager over to talk to you . " I picked up the bowl , stirred it with a fork , and buried under the field greens were a few pecans blending into the colorfully tossed salad . Embarrassed , I said I 'm sorry again and went to find the manager . She handled the rest of the service by writing a report and comping the entire meal . " What ? Okay . That 's no problem . I didn 't know that . I did clearly state ' no nuts ' on the ticket . Why are you writing me up ? The kitchen screwed up the order . " " No , but they didn 't know there was an allergy . If they did , they woulda gotten fresh gorgonzola from the back . " He looked at me with narrowed eyes . " Why didn 't you tell a manager ? " " I tried ! The floor manager and the kitchen manager were nowhere to be seen . They were busy running around doing other stuff . I had to get back on the floor to my tables , cuz it was very busy and I was behind on the floor as it was . I tried to interrupt the cooks and tell them directly , but they wouldn 't stop what they were doing to listen . It was a busy night . You know that . You have the sales figures . " I paused . " And , I didn 't know to write it on the ticket ! " " I was never told , or trained , to put " allergy " on the ticket or I would 've done it . I 'm sorry this happened . I take these things very seriously . I care about people . But , at the time , I thought I did everything I could . " " So lemme get this straight . I 'm being written up for failing to do something I didn 't and couldn 't know I had to do . And even though both managers and the cooks had their hands in this problem , I 'm being thrown under the bus . " " Just write " allergy " on the ticket . " He motioned to a piece of paper on table . " And sign here . You can write in the margin that you didn 't know . " He said that last bit as if it was supposed to mollify me . A lot of lip service is paid to team work and team spirit , but when a mistake happens , the team disappears . Shared , and even personal responsibility , also disappears . It 's one person 's problem . Somebody has to take the fall . I work in the politics of cover - your - ass . These people aren 't my friends . I have a job to do because I need the money . The money - making opportunity needs to be protected . It 's scary to share my private life with The Pie Shoppe . This sounds paranoid , but any knowledge they have may somehow work against me . And so , I have a working world and a personal artistic life between which exists a wall surrounded by a moat teeming with alligators . I almost regret my lapse in silence with My Favorite Busboy , even though he is also my favorite co - worker . I would love to share my writing and especially my new ebook , An Encounter with Death , with everyone - put a sign up at work or casually mention it to all , including customers who come in . The more people who know , the better chance I have at selling books and letting go of the day - job . But , I 'll take my chances that this small population surrounding The Pie Shoppe can stay ignorant of my dreams and they will still come true . Posted on November 12 , 2012 by Dawn Akemi 14 " What 's on your mind , Dawn ? " asked Nosy Server , who whenever there was a silence during lulls in the server aisle would start asking personal questions of whoever was standing around . " You look upset today . " I groaned inwardly at how my face wears what 's on my mind like outlandishly trendy clothes that should never be worn at all . The Bald Man stood nearby listening . It was a slow hour at The Pie Shoppe . " No , " he said . " I 'm not a pet guy . Don 't like ' em , don 't need ' em . " Perhaps he realized that he sounded harsh , or perhaps my transparent face betrayed my dismay , because he laughed like he was supposed to be charming and continued . " Think about it . " He poked his finger in the air . " I couldn 't spontaneously spend a weekend in Vegas if I was burdened with a pet . " I didn 't particularly like the Bald Man , but right then he had my sympathy . Both of them did . Puppies and kitties give far more than they receive . Their presence is nourishing to the spirit . On the day I lost Sonoma , I woke up to her laying on her side , stiff and cold , her mouth drooping open and her little pink tongue hanging over her lip . Open eyes , which had stared unseeing from sudden blindness during her last month , now lacked the luster of life . She looked like she may have suffered in her last moments , breathing her last breath while hanging onto life with ferocity I hadn 't known she possessed . I felt guilty for not calling the man with the merciful syringes to come to my home the day before . My mournful vigil over her final days was fraught with uncertainty over what was best . She wound down slowly , like a watched clock . Yet , the home pet doctor and a life and death decision carry their own guilt . The euthanasia of Napa , her sister , taught me this . Death weighs heavy on consciousness , no matter the circumstance . Outside , a morning mist grayed the trees and sky . I turned off the heater , which had been set up to keep her warm in the autumn chill hovering about the house . As prepared as I was to find her laying there , the sharp ache of her passing hollowed out my being , like a gutted and carved pumpkin . She and her sister purred on my lap for over 18 years . They came into my life before I bought my first cell phone or sent my first email . They witnessed two career changes . They moved with me from Minneapolis to Los Angeles . They watched my heart break , and love again , then break again , love , break , love , break , and love once more . They were my intimates , constant companions in a life filled with change . The loss of Napa earlier in the year was soothed by Sonoma , now laying on a cream - colored blanket . I could barely accept they were both gone . It took almost a week for me to throw away their litter box . I hadn 't been rushing to get rid of all - things - kitty , and their toys and favorite blankets sat around where they were left . The kitty food container , and what was left of their food , rested on top of the fridge . But the eyesore sitting next to my toilet , all dusty and poo - stained , seemed clearly doomed for the trash . What surprised me was how the unpleasant nightly ritual of sifting through litter , carried out approximately 6 , 753 times over the lives of my kitties , had embedded itself in the normalcy and beauty of my life . They were consummately clean , never once doing their business outside of the box . The task was unlovely , but it was performed lovingly and was a privilege of their presence . I miss the litter box terribly . Every so often I see Sonoma out of the corner of my eye , a ghostly glimpse of her sitting patiently at my feet while I tap away at the computer . In the past , if I took too long to notice her , a little paw would rub my leg to let me know she was there . And if that wasn 't good enough , she 'd meow incessantly until I picked her up and put her on my lap . If I briefly left the computer without picking her up , I 'd come back to find her laying across my keyboard , something she knew I didn 't like . Negative attention was better than no attention . Of course in her final months , all I needed was the paw - rub . She eased the loss of Napa , which in turn made me realize her time was short . Every bit of attention I could give her was given . When I wake up in the morning , I sometimes imagine Napa is still sleeping between my legs , her favorite place . She had a way of settling into my lap where her eyes , a passionate blue , almost violet , would soften and deepen as expansively as an endless twilight sky . They were loving and dreamy , and made me feel like I was her whole universe . She knew how to relax into bonelessness , her purr rumbling like an outboard motor and her breathing billowing her whole torso . It was quite unlike the shallow chest breathing I see afflicting many of us with worries tightening our stomachs . My kitties embodied how to live in the moment and just breathe . Napa and Sonoma put love above food in their hierarchy of needs and would stop eating to luxuriate in my pets . When I held them , they would cling ; when I needed to set them down , they masterminded passive resistance , becoming dead weight , far heavier than their dozen pounds . Both expanded my heart into an understanding of love which made our often cruel world feel like a soft place to land . They were as separated from me as a fish from a tree , yet they taught me how to feel connected . In a universe where two little creatures could fill my heart to overflowing , how could it be rooted in bad ? How could there be a heaven better than the moments I spent cuddling in the furry warmth of their affection ? I looked at the Bald Man squarely and said , " If you had a pet , you might think they offer more than a weekend in Vegas . " He frowned and I walked away . It was probably better to have kept my mouth shut , but I often can 't help myself . Posted on September 17 , 2012 by Dawn Akemi 2 " Would you like another Chardonnay ? " I asked . My regular 's glass was a quarter full . He doesn 't like to wait long between glasses . It was late afternoon and not very busy at The Pie Shoppe . " By the time you pour that glass , I 'll be ready , " he said with a smirk . He comes in almost every day . Roly - poly , balding , and bespectacled , he always sets up a hardback book from the New York Times best - selling fiction list on a reading stand to peruse while he sips four glasses of Kendall Jackson Chardonnay . Today he had two books , one two - thirds open on the stand and one waiting near his pudgy elbow . " Oh , I read very quickly . I 'll finish this one and be a quarter way into the other one before I leave . " Later , it turned out he wasn 't bragging in vain . With his third glass , he expects a slice of cornbread . " Center cut . Please make sure it 's very fresh . " If he 's really hungry , he 'll order the turkey dinner or pot roast to be enjoyed with the fourth glass . It was a hungry day , so he ordered the turkey , extra gravy on the side , melted cheese on his veggies . " And I 'd like to order a top sirloin to go . " " Okay . It comes with loaded mashed potatoes . Do you think she 'd like that , or maybe just a plain baked potato ? " Loaded mashed potatoes come with bacon , chopped green onions , sour cream , and cheddar cheese melted together on top . The Pie Shoppe had another couple hours left before closing and I was feeling crabby . There were very few customers to wait on . Ahead on the to - do list was cleaning the server aisle , where sticky pie fillings and greasy pie crust crumbs managed to get onto everything . The unstimulating , corporately designed decor , with its drab brown tones and dreary furnishings , was weighing me down . I was bored and wanted to go home . Feeling sorry for myself , I greeted my new table . " If your name is ' Dawn ' , how come you 're working at night ? " His face was merry and the wrinkles around his eyes crinkled flirtatiously . He sat with two white - haired ladies . They paid their bill leaving a generous gratuity . I didn 't see them come in so as they stood up to leave I was startled to see the gentleman struggle to set himself upright on two canes . His face twisted with pain as he balanced himself . Then he looked up , saw me , and instantly brightened , " You have a nice rest of your night , now . " " No , I haven 't had the pleasure . " He and I shook hands then we walked towards a booth in my section . " Where 's your husband ? Parking the car ? " The words tumbled chirpily out of my mouth , even as I suddenly sensed what was next . My chest collapsed . My eyes stung . Death 's hooded presence was looking over my shoulder again , his scythe hollowing out my heart . I was still reeling from the recent loss of my cat . The Wife 's loss of a lifetime love , whose union was represented in their middle - aged son , and his loss of his father seemed incomprehensibly painful . All I could manage was , " I am so sorry . " " Oh yes . I almost thought it was him when you walked in . " I was happy to make her happy . But , as I walked away , I looked back to see her sparkle had dulled like lead , and her ash - colored hair hooded her crestfallen face . When they were finished , he approached me at the server stand with the bill book open , exact change for the bill on one side and a $ 5 bill - a generous tip - on the other . His father paid with the same style . I thanked him . He stared at the front of the restaurant , a wall of windows and a door leading into the patio . The parking lot blacktop glistened darkly under the midafternoon sun . " He passed suddenly . A bleeding ulcer . I had lunch with him the day before . The next day he was gone . We argued at lunch . I didn 't get to say I 'm sorry . I didn 't get to say goodbye . " The words were stated blankly , numbly , as if they were said before and often , but the repetition hadn 't eased their poignancy . Then he looked at me . " Life changes . It always changes . We can 't fight the changes . " My mind floated to my cat . She was put to sleep in my lap by a home pet doctor 's needle . I had to fight the rising force in me to jump up and rip the needle out of the gentle hand , whose owner was invited into my home to do exactly what he was doing , to scream out , " Stop ! Stop ! You can 't murder my cat ! I won 't let you ! Please stop ! " Instead , my scream stuck in my throat in a bilious lump . My hands caressed my kitty as they had for all her 18 years , while tears dripped off my chin in steady rhythm . She was ill and had suffered enough . Any alternative was more suffering and little hope for much else . Her surviving litter sister took it better . We all spent the morning huddled in bed , their purrs a continuous hum . As her sister ceased breathing , she moved restlessly about . The body was laid to rest in a cat bed to be picked up later by the crematorium . She sniffed her sister softly , then licked her gently , like goodbye kisses . She laid down to share the bed , as if she was still alive to snuggle , until the body became cold and stiff . She got to say goodbye . I got to say goodbye . I got to say I 'm sorry . I said , " He will always be with you . He is with everything now . " I hugged him spontaneously , though I 'd only just met him , then hugged his mother , who joined us at that moment . We said no more and they turned to walk slowly out of the restaurant . Post was not sent - check your email addresses ! Email check failed , please try again Sorry , your blog cannot share posts by email . % d bloggers like this :
|
This is one of those recipes that came about by a fortunate series of events . We like to go to the local farmer 's market every Sunday morning . Max loves to run around there and we always find something we just had to have while we 're there . Two weeks ago , while my mom was here , we brought her with us to the market . We wondered around checking everything out . Max became fascinated with the large bins of sweet potatoes at all of the vendors . Finally , we let him pick a few out to take home . He was so excited about his potatoes ! But being a toddler with a short attention span , the beloved potatoes were soon forgotten about and thrown into a bin in the fridge . Fast forward to grocery shopping day last week . I always , always , always , meal plan . This has not only reduced our food budget by half ( that 's right , I said HALF ! ) , it is also a great way to keep me on track with my Weight Watchers points for the week . In order to meal plan effectively , I go through our pantry cabinets , the freezer and the refrigerator to take stock of what I already have on hand . I then go through my coupon stash and the weekly flyers to check for sale items . Doing this has cut our food budget by at least 1 / 4 . I went from spending close to $ 800 a month on grocery bills to roughly $ 300 - 400 per month . This includes household items like toiletries and cleaning supplies . Anyway , while looking through the fridge , I found the long lost sweet potatoes . They needed to be used in a hurry . The meals I had planned for the week didn 't really go with having sweet potatoes as a side so I had to come up with something else to do with them . Max has been devouring fruit and veggie muffins lately . The kid is a bottomless pit . I swear he eats all day long . You can tell that he 's growing every day , he keeps outgrowing all of his clothes ! I 'm hoping that I can make it through the rest of the warm weather here without having to buy anything new for him . His obsession with muffins , and my desire to get a variety of food into him , gave me the lightbulb moment of making sweet potato muffins . At first I thought I could just take a basic pumpkin bread recipe and swap out sweet potato . Then I started thinking about actually making pumpkin bread ( I know , I know ) . So , I couldn 't have two breads that were essentially the same thing now could I ? The answer here is No , in case you were wondering . I started brainstorming about what flavors I wanted to go with the sweet potatoes . All I kept coming back to was my famous ( within my family circle ) sweet potato pie . This pie is requested by everyone at Thanksgiving . I originally got the recipe from my Aunt who was in charge of bringing it to every holiday gathering . Once our families branched off to different parts of the country , it became my responsibility for our part of the family . The pie is basically like eating candy . Not only does it include the super sweet canned sweet potatoes in heavy syrup but also brown sugar and maple syrup ! It is diabetes on a plate , but oh so good ! I just had to have that taste in my bread . I needed to find a way to not only get that sweet mapley taste but not have my kid bouncing off the walls after eating it . What I came up with was a homerun ! I took a basic recipe and tweaked it to be what I was looking for . It tastes exactly like the famous Thanksgiving Day pie , minus the marshmallow topping . It would have been even better with some chopped pecans thrown in but since Max is not a fan of nuts , I didn 't bother with them . This recipe made 24 mini muffins and 4 mini loaves . Honestly the sugar could probably be reduced since these came out super super sweet . Max has devoured a couple of these a day since I made them . Vince took a mini loaf to work and said that it was gone within 5 minutes . He didn 't even get a piece ! I plan to make this one again , in fact I 'm thinking of making it for Thanksgiving instead of the sugar laden pie that really no one needs to be eating . Maybe it 's time to retire Aunt Emma 's Famous Sweet Potato Pie . Welcome to October ! We had a pretty full weekend . Things didn 't go exactly as planned , but when do they ever ? Friday night Vince and I had an at - home date night . We waited until Max was in bed and then ordered from our favorite Italian place and then vegged out on the couch watching Castle on Netflix . I 'm now obsessed with this show . We just finished the first season . For years I was avoiding the show thinking it was similar to those cheesy murder mystery shows in the 80 's . Like Hardcastle & McCormick or Remington Steele . My friend Kim convinced me to give it a try . She loves the show ( and the hot Mr . Fillion ) . I 'm hooked . I can 't wait for the next disc to get here . . . and WHY is it not available streaming ? ! Saturday we were supposed to go to the Claude Moore annual craft fair and maybe hit up the Apple Festival at the Heritage Museum in the afternoon . Instead , we all slept in and didn 't have time to get out to the craft fair . Then Max took an extra long nap in the afternoon so we didn 't get out of the house until almost 3 o ' clock ! The festival ended at 4 , so it wasn 't worth it to trek out there . Instead , we packed ourselves up and headed out to Cox Farms in Chantilly for the opening day of their Fall Festival . This is our third year going to Cox Farms . The first year , I had just found out I was pregnant with Max . We went with a group of people to the haunted corn maze and hayride . It was a blast ! Last year we took Max to the festival . He was only 6 months old , so he didn 't really have any idea of what was going on . It was cold and windy and it had rained heavily the day before so the whole place was a huge mud pit . Not so much fun last year . But this year . Whoo boy ! Max climbed on the giant hay stacks , went down the big pirate ship slide , played in the old west town , crawled through the hay tunnels , danced to a live band , picked fresh apples and pumpkins to take home , rode on a really cool hayride , and saw all kinds of baby animals . While we were looking at a big sow and her piglets , all of the babies ran over to mom to start suckling . A girl next to us , around 14 , gasped and asked her mom what they were doing ? Why were they fighting over the mother pig like that ? Max looked at the girl and told her they were drinking milk ! I can 't tell you how proud I was of my little guy at that moment . Saturday night was very quiet . We were all pretty exhausted and went to bed early . Sunday morning we ended up going out to the apple festival . It was much smaller than I thought it was going to be but it was still a lot of fun . We did an apple tasting of different heirloom varieties of apples . Then we went through the little apple museum and watched a girl peel apples using a 100 year old apple peeling machine . Max got to use an antique machine to bag apples , and he got to keep the apples that he bagged . Then we saw an apple cider making demonstration using a 150 year old apple press . Max got to be the helper that threw the apples in the top of the press . We missed story time but we got to do a cute little apple craft , giving an apple a personality . Then we went outside where Max won some prizes playing some games like bean bag toss , tic tac toe ( using apples ) , and apple bobbing . They had face painting but Max freaks out with stuff being painted on him ( he did the same thing with those temporary tattoos at the ice cream festival ) . The last activity was in the pasture where they had set up large wooden animal cutouts along with tons of finger paints and brushes . Max went to town painting animals and amazingly didn 't get any paint on himself or me ! He took a 3 hour long nap and then went to bed early again . I think the day was a success . Unfortunately , we took all of the pictures this weekend using Vince 's new iPhone . On the way out to the apple festival , Vince put his phone on the roof of the car and forgot about it . We drove off , never to see the phone again . We drove up and down the street for hours looking for any sign of debris but it was gone . I 'm assuming someone found it and took it home . Frugal Vince keeps the GPS turned off on his phone to save the battery life . If it was on we could have located it using the Find My Phone app . Lesson learned but it sucks that we don 't have any pictures of our awesome weekend . To celebrate the apple festival , I made today 's lunch have an apple theme . I thought it was pretty cute but Max actually didn 't like everything . He didn 't like the apple yogurt so I switched it out for coconut and he gobbled it up . He didn 't want his muffin or the Apple Jacks at lunch but ate them later for a snack . Everything else was gone pretty quickly . And he loved his apple sippy cup , which was a prize he picked out for winning at bean bag toss ! I don 't know why but making chili has always kind of intimidated me . Every chili lover I 've spoken to has said that it takes all day to cook , you have to have the right proportion ( and kind ) of beans , or is it no beans ? The right kind of meat , the right chillies , the perfect blend of seasoning . It all just seemed really daunting for a dish that I don 't really love that much . However , chili is a great meal for those cool nights in the fall and the even colder nights in winter , when you want something rich and hearty to " stick to your ribs " and warm you up . Vince really likes chili , and all types of stew for that matter , and started begging me to make it for him . My quest for a simple yet tasty chili recipe began . Right around that time I was discovering new food blogs . I was still pretty new to the whole blogosphere so I was very excited to find cooking related blogs . I stumbled upon one of my now favorites , PreventionRD . She was holding a chili contest on her blog . I scrolled through and waited patiently for the " right " one to appear . Just by chance , she posted the perfect recipe on October 11 , 2010 . Our second anniversary . It was fate . I made it with a batch of corn bread and Vince devoured it . He was elated that I made him chili and I was happy that it not only tasted awesome but only took about an hour to make . I have been making this same recipe ever since . So , once the temperatures dropped below 60 * I decided it was time to make a batch of chili in our new house . It would be Max 's first time having it . I wasn 't too worried because the kid loves spicy food . I sometimes have to put hot sauce on his food to get him to eat it . Weirdo . Anyway , it was a huge success ! This is the most I have seen him eat of any one food at a time . I think it knocked Chicken Tikka Masala out of first place for being his favorite food . He had three helpings at dinner , then he had it for lunch the next day and wanted it again for dinner ! Seriously he could not get enough . He cried when we ran out . So I 'll be making a double batch next time to freeze some . I might throw in a few more veggies too , just to get him to eat more of them . I have to say , I 'm not a huge fan of Starbucks Coffee . I find their roasts to be a little too bold for me . They almost taste burnt . I do love foo foo drinks though and Starbucks has oh so many to choose from . Even though I could happily drink a Caramel Macchiato or Iced Mocha , I can not justify spending that kind of money on coffee . Vince on the other hand drinks them like water . Especially before we moved . Vince 's daily commute was upwards of 1 hour each way . He would leave the house at an ungodly hour just to try to beat rush hour traffic . The years of this commute gave him a huge iced coffee addiction . He literally gulps them down in seconds . He would order several to drink on his way in to the office every morning . Do you know how expensive this got ! ? ! Now that we have moved , Vince 's commute to work is literally 5 minutes , maybe 7 if he hits a red light . There is no more need for him to get several coffees on his way in to work and he really does prefer sleeping in to making a stop at Starbucks . However , he still loves his iced coffee . I saw a post somewhere ( I 'll be honest , I don 't remember where ) talking about making iced coffee at home . We tried several variations and even bought the iced coffee k - cups for the Keurig . Nothing really matched the flavor of Starbucks . Then someone mentioned that The Pioneer Woman had an awesome recipe on her site that mimicked the ever elusive coffee . Sure enough , it was awesome ! The great thing about this is that it really does taste like Starbucks iced coffee and it costs pennies per serving . The unfortunate thing about it is that I now must drink at least one a day , sometimes several . If you know me at all , you know I can 't tolerate much caffeine . I get shaky , jittery , and generally start acting like I just snorted a bunch of coke . Needless to say , that first big batch of fully caffeinated coffee concentrate did not do me much good . Vince and my mom both loved it though ! Moving forward , Vince has since kicked his iced coffee habit ( for the most part ) and my mom the coffee addict doesn 't visit very often . I will be making a new batch of coffee concentrate using decaf and then proceed to horde it all . I mean it ! I 'm not sharing ! ! Well , here we are again . Monday . The dreaded day of the week . We 're all exhausted here . We 've been running with out of town trips and company for the past couple of weeks and now Max seems to be having a growth spurt and isn 't sleeping well . What I wouldn 't give for a few quiet hours alone in my house right now . The first weekend of September , Vince 's step - mother , two sisters , cousin , and I all loaded up in my car for a road trip to rural PA for Liz 's bridal shower . That 's right , Vince 's baby brother Tony is engaged ! Squee ! We are so happy for both of them and they have asked Vince to be a groomsman and Max to be the ringbearer . Yay ! I met the little flower girl that Max will be riding in the wagon with and she is adorable . The wedding is set for the end of December in Nashville . I 've started getting Max 's attire together , starting with a new pair of flame Vans . : ) While the girls were having fun at the shower in PA , Vince 's dad was staying at our house . So before we left on our trip , I had to get our guest room and bathroom ready , stock the house with food , do laundry , clean , and all of the other stuff you do when overnight guests are coming . They had a great time ! I was a little anxious since this was the first time I had left Max overnight but the guys ' weekend turned out just fine . Max sure does love his Grandpa . We had a little bit of a break until my mom came for a visit . She has been seriously ill since have complications from gall bladder surgery . She finally got the okay from her doctor to fly so I immediately booked a flight for her . It had been 6 months since I had seen her and couldn 't wait for her to get here . It was the first time she was visiting our new house so we were out exploring every day ! We went to the cool play area at the mall and rode the train and the carousel and had ice cream afterwards , we went to the Reston Zoo , the Leesburg Outlet mall , to Max 's art class , the farmer 's market , and we explored downtown Herndon . In our limited time at the house we managed to bake zucchini bread and chocolate no - bake cookies . Max helped Grandma make spaghetti and meatballs with homemade tomato sauce . Needless to say , I haven 't had much time to blog but I have been making new recipes like crazy . The only problem is that they typically get eaten before I have time to take any pictures . Oh well , such is life . For those of you that don 't know , Butter Chicken is a very popular Indian dish that is thought to have originated in New Delhi . It is typically made with chicken cooked in a Tandoor , but can be roasted or pan cooked as well . The chicken is cooked with various spices ( like Garam Masala , cumin , turmeric , and chili ) and a tomato butter cream sauce . I knew I had a hit on my hands when I brought the bowl of chicken to the table and Max went crazy for it . He ended up eating three helpings ! I served the chicken with brown rice and broccoli for a very healthy , filling meal . I 've decided to start posting about some of the food that I make for Max . Toddler food can be so much fun ! It 's all miniaturized and cute . I try to make his food fairly healthy . I sneak in fruits and veggies whenever possible . Like most kids , Max has a sweet tooth , so I play on that in order to get him to eat more healthy stuff . I made these muffins for the first time this week . I 've made other banana muffins for Max and he always enjoys them . These have peanut butter added in to give them a protein boost . I had some over ripe bananas that needed to be used up and with Max not eating well this week ( he 's cutting another molar ! ) I thought I could kill two birds with one stone . I initially made these following the recipe I found to the letter . Vince ended up eating that batch . They were really really good . Then I played around with the recipe to cut the sugar and butter and I think they came out pretty awesome ! I first had broccoli salad two years ago during Thanksgiving dinner with my in - laws . I know , I know . Sometimes I think I 've lived a sheltered life . Anyway , a friend of the family brought it to dinner and it was a huge hit . We all asked for the recipe , which she kindly rattled off but none of us thought to actually write it down ! I always thought to make it again but never got around to doing it or looking up a recipe for it . Well , I finally did . The recipes I found all seemed to be a little off from what I remembered having . So I took one and modified it to what I could remember . It turned out perfect ! I will now keep this in my repertoire for quick , tasty side dishes . I finally jumped on the bandwagon of Muffin Tin Mondays ! Now that Max has fully reached the independent toddler eater phase , I find myself trying to get creative with his meals . I don 't know if it 's a common question posed to mom 's of toddlers , or moms in general , but it seems that I get asked quite often if Max is a picky eater . The answer is never cut and dried . In the grand scheme of things , he eats pretty well . He will try just about anything once . He might hate something one day and love it the next . So , I keep testing the waters when it comes to his food . Until very recently , like that last week or so , he still preferred most of his food to be in puree form . I think it 's a texture thing . I still can 't get him to eat regular oatmeal , but he will scarf down baby cereal oatmeal . He eats most fruits and proteins in their intended / natural form . He absolutely will not eat any vegetable unless it is pureed . But if you puree it , he 'll eat any of them . I take that back , there are some veggies that he 'll eat whole . He loves eggplant and recently he started eating tomatoes and mushrooms . He will also sometimes eat peas whole . Ok , so once I started getting creative with his meals I became obsessed with bento lunches . They are just so cute ! However , Max doesn 't go to daycare or any type of preschool / nanny so I really couldn 't justify getting a lunch box set for him . That 's when I found Muffin Tin Mondays ! I can do all of the cute little bento stuff and put it all into muffin cups ! What a genius idea ! The muffin cups are the perfect size for Max 's appetite and I can give him a variety of foods to choose from for his meal . He also gets to feel like a " big boy " and choose what he wants to eat . It 's a win / win . Off to Michael 's , Target , and Walmart I went to get my supplies . I * may * have gone a little overboard with this stuff . I just couldn 't help it ! I tried a few over the weekend and they went over well with Max . So today is our first official Muffin Tin Monday . Mmmmmm . . . doughnuts . I finally joined the ranks of bakers who make their own doughnuts . Yummy , cakey , chocolately , goodness at any time , day or night . It took me awhile to take the plunge and buy a couple of doughnut pans , but boy was it worth it . My first foray into the doughnut world was a simple one . I chose an easy vanilla doughnut with a chocolate glaze . I was a little surprised that it took me several batches before I came upon a recipe that I really like , and then several more tried for the glaze . What I ended up with was so yummy that I try very hard not to make them every morning . These babies come out super fluffy and moist . The chocolate glaze is decadent and doesn 't get flakey like most doughnut glazes . The first time I made them , they didn 't stick around long enough to tell how well they stored but the next time I made them , I put some into an airtight container for the next day . I have to say , they were definitely better fresh . They were ok the next day but would really not last any longer than that for freshness . This is another recipe from Emily Bites . I 've tried several of them with varying degrees of appeal . I decided to try this one on a night when I knew I needed a quick meal that could easily be reheated . I chose a night that I had Zumba class scheduled . These nights mean that Vince comes home from work , gives Max dinner and then gets him ready for bed . While Vince is taking care of Max , I whip something up for grown - up dinner . I don 't eat before my classes ( that would be a disaster ) so I make something that Vince can eat once Max is in bed and that I can reheat for myself when I get home . This recipe fit the bill . I was actually a little surprised that I liked it so much . I was a little leery of the ingredient list but it come out really tasty ! It does not really taste like a cheeseburger , more like cheeseburger Hamburger Helper . It was quick , easy , tasty , and very few points . All pluses that have made this a recipe that I 've made several times with great success . It has gotten rave reviews from Vince , Max , and my sister - in - law who is also watching her points . I typically serve two cups with a large salad for a complete dinner . As a kid , I remember my mom being in the kitchen 90 % of the time . She was always cooking something . She made ( and still makes ) her own pasta , tomato sauce , bread ( of all kinds ) , pretzels , pickles , jams / jellies , cookies , cakes , pies , you name it and she 's probably made it . She has always loved cooking . My father 's job had us moving around quite a bit when I was a kid . I attended 8 schools between 1st grade and high school graduation . Through all of our moves and all of the different towns and cultures , my mom 's food was always a constant in our lives . It was the ultimate in comfort food . When we moved to Southern Illinois , we found that people ate all sorts of stuff that we had never heard of . So naturally , my mom tried to make some of them . Being Italian , she wanted to try Italian Beef and Italian Cream Cake ( neither of which is actually Italian ) . She hated both and decided to leave the new foods to the " natives " . During our stay in Marion , we soon found that a staple dessert brought to everything from church potlucks to PTA meetings , Girl Scout meetings to work BBQs , was lemon bars . They were always there and always went fast . As kids we learned to covet this potluck delicacy and yearned for our mom to make them at home . Alas , she refused . So , we would anxiously await the next gathering , hoping that someone would remember the lemon bars . My obsession with this lemony confection died down once we moved to the Chicagoland area , where they are not as readily made . I went years without eating or even thinking about making lemon bars . That was until I moved to Virgina . Southerners love their lemon bars ! So , I went on a quest for a tried and true recipe , and then I made it better . This recipe has been a staple in recipe book for about 8 years now . It is always the first thing requested for me to bring to a party and is usually the first thing to run out . It is a really easy and quick recipe , making it the perfect choice for any party when you need a quick dish to bring . The crust holds up really well to the moist ultra - lemony custard topping . The powdered sugar topping is the perfect compliment to the tartness from the lemons . It is a crowd pleaser ! Mmmmm . . . scones . I love them . In all kinds of flavor combinations . I love them warm with a little butter spread on and melting and I love them plain . Scones are a traditional quick bread hailing from the UK . They can be either sweet or savory with the most common fillings being raisins , currants , cheese , and dates . There is also the luscious lemonade scone made with lemonade and cream instead of butter and milk , yum . You can make scones as either drop biscuits or rolled and cut . Scones are made and loved throughout the world but they are best known in England , Scotland , and Ireland . Scones were the chosen representative of Ireland at Cafe Europe , a cultural initiative of the EU president , in 2006 . As much as I 've always loved these flaky , buttery pastries , I 've never actually made them . So , when I came across a recipe for traditional Irish scones , I knew I had to try it . Reading through the blog post with that recipe reminded me of our awesome trip to Ireland in 2009 . We had such a great time with our friends and really fell in love with the country . We spent two glorious weeks experiencing the beautiful landscapes , historical sites , and Irish culture . I can 't wait to plan our next trip there . In the mean time I 'll make due with cooking up all sorts of Irish food like shepherd 's pie , soda bread , and now scones .
|
Well , my weekend wasn 't too bad . Friday I went out to dinner with my aunt and uncle and we talked about a few things that have been bothering me in my life . Car troubles , work ext . . It was really nice to see them . They live pretty close to my work but I am always in a rush to get home ( excuses yes , I 'm well aware ) . So it 's always a pleasure to see them . Went to Blackfinn in Randhurst and ordered a nice big Caesar salad . At dinner we talked about getting certifies as a personal trainer again . It came down to them offering to pay for it ( thinking about taking the NASM exam ) which is so amazing of them . They really are such special people and very blessed that they are in my life . After dinner we headed home and I got a half assed work out in their bonus room upstairs ( elliptical , treadmill , bike , weights , tanning ext ) . I suppose I was just not in the mood or whatever the fuck was going on in my head . After that pathetic excuse to work out , I headed to Mike 's house . We didn 't do much except chill with a couple of his friends . Did nothing though , I would of rather spent that time in bed like I always do . Yes its nice to get out once in a while but I love my bed . I love sleeping . I love being lazy . Case closed . Left pretty early Saturday morning because Mike had to be at the shop to work on his car so I decided to go home and start my day . I passed out ( lmao ) for an hour after making breakfast ( eggs , ground turkey and onions ) , while my mother made oatmeal raisins cookies . meh . So my plan was to work out at 230pm before my tax return appointment at 4 . However I have a really bad idea of time apparently and was stuck at a train at 245 . Now . . this would have been fine ( a solid hour of a workout ) but I was training legs and needed to pick up a post work out meal prior to my appointment . So instead of rushing my work out I just decided to puts around and waste an hour so I could actually enjoy my work out . Did my return which only lasted about 20 minutes and headed right back to the gym . It was actually a pretty good work out besides me almost breaking my finger . Still swollen but nothing to bad , though did make dead lifting a littler header than normal . Again , no big deal I got through it . Went home and ate my go to meal of chicken brown rice and broccoli and did nothing besides laundry for the remainder of the night . Again let it be known I don 't give a fuck to go out , nor do I ever really want to . Going out always leads to extra calories consumed and well . . aint nobody got time for that . Went to GNC before H & R to grab a few Quest Bars . After trying the banana nut I am so not a fan . Ol well . . Can 't win em all ! Just kidding , but seriously . Prepping and bringing your own food to places sometimes gets annoying . Yes , it is sometimes necessary but I could care less driving 45 minutes to go to a place I probably wouldn 't like in the first place … Unless its to eat . . then Id drive miles . Sunday morning I got up around 10am , sore ALL over . From my legs to my back it was not comfortable . I actually put an icy hot patch on for a few hours . I made breakfast again and laid around with Marley and the mother . We decided to head to the forest preserve for a 5 mile walk . I was actually game for this because instead of being lazy and taking a day off or hurting myself more at the gym , I figured this was a great idea . I love spending time with my mom I just fucking love the shit out of her . We made it through even with getting caught in a little hail storm and picked up 2 bowls of chili from a near by restaurant . I love their chili and was so needed after that little adventure . Afterwards I cleaned up a little bit more and waited for my lovely boyfriend to make his way over . He arrived around 7pm and made me pick a restaurant I wanted to eat at . My first idea was Red Robin … I just wanted their salad bar SO bad . So we made our way out to Gurnee and arrived . Little did I know that I had mistaken Red Robin for Ruby Tuesdays . . soooo of course I goggled where the closet one was but after a failed attempt to search for what I think is non existent we chose Lone star . We ordered the awesome blossom which is well , fucking awesome and munched on that till my steak and his combo arrived at the table . We sort of rushed because he didn 't want to miss Wicked Tuna on tv so I took the dessert that came with my meal to go . Only to get to my house and it wasn 't on till 11pm . Ha ! Lower my sodium intake ( and trust me I am consuming a lot . I always have . I do have a feeling that when I cut my sodium I am going to lose A LOT of water weight ) . That is it for now . Realized I am not going to post progress pictures up just yet . I want to do the before and after and go into a full detail on my way of life . Wednesday of next week , I will be 8 weeks out . I am a little nervous but 2 months I believe , should be enough time . I don 't have a lot of weight to lose but it seems like when you hit 8 weeks the time flies . If I do not feel comfortable in 6 - 7 weeks I will opt for a show a little later . I believe there is one a week or two after that I was looking into so that will at least give me a little more time . However , Wednesday of this week was an off day for me . Not because I wanted one but because life didn 't think I should work out . Lol . . My boyfriend ended up becoming stranded with no car so I had to move some things around . I went home and prepared a few meals and by the time I put the lids on , I had to pick him up at the train station . No big deal though ( and no I didn 't beat myself up like I usually do ) , I was sore in all sorts of places ! Thursday ( yesterday ) , I did 45 solid minutes of chest . I was working out for an hour but won 't count it as such because I caught myself starring into space a few times . I don 't know what it was ( maybe no pre workout , tired . . idk ) . I took a little more time in between sets but hey I at least got my ass to the gym . I finished with 15 minutes of stairs . Food wise I am still going strong . Sushi knocked me a little ( the sauce is always high in fat / calories ) , but too be honest I skipped 2 meals on accident so I don 't think it hurt me too bad . I usually have a cheat meal on the weekends but I am going to keep it healthy . My life is slowly but surely coming together , or I am getting better at handling the stress . Money issues , car issues , school issues are still . . well , issues but I am starting to allow God to get me thru them . I am headed over to my aunts after work and hopefully can get some insight on my life . It 's nice talking and getting advice some times , although I know I am going to cry once or twice . . I just know it ! Ol well , sometimes I just need to let go . . I did however get my first online client of the year . So with that I am not going to go into detail about my work outs that much because that wouldn 't be fair to the folks that pay for it . I don 't mind answering any and all questions though ! Nothing really planned for the weekend . I do have an appointment to get my taxes done tomorrow and possibly a fishing show on Sunday but that 's as exciting as my weekend gets . I don 't mind ( well not all the time . My Jeep is a gas guzzler and I am piss ass broke ) , I enjoy resting and spending time with my Mom . I think I should take her out for a little lunch date though . . It will be a nice hour or two . Well . . that is all my friends . Going to do full body work out today ( at my aunt 's house because LA Fitness closes at 10 and there 's no way I would be able to get there in time and NO WAY I am missing another work out ) , Hamstrings Saturday , and Shoulders on Sunday . I hope ya ' lls weekend is a little more eventful than mine ! I also did 15 minutes of the stairs but have been thinking about dropping cardio in half like I did today , or completely taking it out for a few weeks . I have been dropping weight but I still have quite a bit of time and don 't want to risk losing my ass ( I honestly think its gotten smaller ) . I think if I decided to do cardio I can only do the stairs ( which sucks because the stairs are getting harder ) . Later on down the road I might add in a little cycling but I will know in a couple weeks . Food wise I am still consuming a lot of carbs . I want to keep as much muscle as possible ( again , PLEASE DON ' T BE SCARED OF CARBS ! ! ! ! ! It 's processed , sugar added foods you should worry about ) . Well I suppose I spoke too soon . Thursday I found out some bad news regarding school which lead me to drop a class . I am now down to one class starting in March which I am not thrilled about . Hopefully I can turn this around in time to at least take one , if not all of the ones I wanted to take . Why is it so easy for the government to just take away financial aid , putting my education on hold ? All I want to do is go to class and finish my degree and it 's not going well . Definitely brought me to tears . However I actually got a work out in despite my attitude / mood ( am I getting better at channeling my emotions ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ) , though I did cry on the treadmill . I couldn 't stop them from falling . I mean what else do you do on the treadmill besides think ? Fuck . Keeping " everything will be okay " in mind . I have to . I have to be positive that my life will turn around . I have to actually put forth an effort and realize no one is going to do things to change my life except myself . I need to actually give a damn before its too late . That was found out Thursday , and after work Friday the boy and I headed out to Wisconsin for a little ice fishing trip . Everything was fine and dandy till we got close and had to stop at his fathers friends house for a cocktail . His father had the keys so we needed to go regardless if I was exhausted or not . We walked in and sat down , introduced me to both people there . Normal right ? well I sat in silence while they had a conversation in polish . Completeing disregarding my presence . I felt awkward , embarrassed even . . I told him before we even left for Wisco that this is why I didn 't want to go with him and his father . I LOVE his family dont get me wrong but last time it was the 3 of us , I sat in silence at dinner and again felt awkward . I didn 't want to feel like that again and guess what ? I did . . this time with 4 people not just one in a house I couldn 't just go hide in the bedroom in . Definately a mood changer . We left and I had my moment but we were back to normal within an hour or two . Woke up pretty early for us and I made us breakfast . His father left to go fishing with the couple that we met yesterday so I was excited to be alone with M . It was actually a beautiful day . I believe the temperature was in the low fourties which was awesome . We get to Petenwell and find a tow truck below about to pull out a sunken ATV . That made me nervous . . till I saw a car on the ice a few minutes later . Just have to be careful . . We set up and was on the ice around 1130am . We didn 't catch anything for nearly 3 hours , and didn 't seem very promising . M caught a catfish but that was the only catch for the day . Definitely a bummer . The wind starting picking up , literally knocking me off the shacks seat so that obviously pissed me off . We left shortly after . We got home around 5 and started making dinner . We grilled steak and chicken and I prepared our favorite potatoes ( onion stuffed potatoes wrapped in bacon ) , even though it was about 12 degrees outside . After dinner , M 's father left to go cook some of the fish he had caught earlier ( I think totaling 15 or so . . must be nice ) , as we headed to the casino . Got there and went straight to the bar , while he gave me $ 40 to spend . Lost in within 30 minutes so I sat and watched him . He ended up giving me another $ 10 and I lost that too . Seriously ? We both lost , and 45 minutes later was in the car headed back home . We usually stop at boner again ( rattyass strip club lmao ) but decided it was best to just go home considering we had booze there so why spend the extra $ $ . We got home , ate some birthday cake oreos ( they were OK . . M loved them but I def prefer the original ) , and headed to bed . Woke up around 10am and made the boys breakfast . Eggs with left over potatoes onions and bacon with some pancakes . I made my now famous ( lol jk but they are def heaven in my mouth ) , pancakes . I put peanut butter on the plate first , stick a hot pancake on top add jelly and chocolate sauce and was topped with whipped cream . It was def picture worthy but I didn 't want to look like a freak in front of his dad lol . I was stuffed and ready to roll . Okay not really , by the time we got on the ice I was crabby as fuck . Thank God for a great boyfriend or I would be single . We got the shack and the holes all prepped and began fishing . I caught the first one , which made me feel better about being crabby and was well . . no longer crabby . 10 - 15 fish later around 430pm , we packed up and was ready to go home . I think we didn 't stay out for that long because 1 , we had to get home sooner than later and 2 because his dad wasn 't catching anything . The first day we were on Petenwall and he caught a lot , this day we went to Fish Lake and we caught a lot but he didn 't . A little bizarre but all in good fun . We got home around 5pm and was packed up and ready to leave for home around 6 . We stopped at a local restaurant ( ok the only restaurant nearby ) and actually had a really bad experience . I think they were short staffed but we were ignored for the first 15 minutes . I actually had to go up to the bar and ask for a server in which I was told it was going to be awhile as she had rude look on her face . Yeah … no . That doesn 't fly with me . So I sat my happy ass back down and waited . The boy could tell I was getting upset but it was honestly because we were blatantly being ignored . She could of got our drink order in while saying it would be a couple minutes till she could take our food order . . but we were literally ignored . A little while longer she came over , left the menus and left . We had an idea of what we wanted and a sure as hell enough time to decide so we ordered our drinks , appetizers and food as soon as she arrived back . After we placed the order the boy had to go back to the house because he left his phone and even then when he returned we still didn 't have our drinks . NOT . HAPPY . AT . ALL . And the only remark she said was " hope you 're not too hungry considering you 've been waiting a while " … ya think ? Well if I wasn 't hungry when I sat down I 'm sure any food I had consumed prior was digested and why yes ma ' am I believe I am starting to get hungry again . Whatever . She brought the food out before the drinks . . and I mean all the food . . It wasn 't appetizers it was like a 5 course meal we enjoyed that night . We weren 't going to leave a tip ( don 't get me started I KNOW how a waitress is suppose to work and I KNOW how little they get paid . Regardless I wasn 't going to reward horrible service with a nice tip ) , so you my friend got $ 5 . We left about 45minutes later and was on the way home in the 2 degree weather . Fuck was it cold . Thank God for heated seats . We got home around 1030 which we actually made really good time . I stayed at his house again and passed out after he put Ted on . I was tired , and def dreading today . . Monday . . another day at a job I hate . Horray for the weekends . Haven 't updated much because well . . there isn 't much to tell . I have been consistent with my work outs and haven 't skipped one yet . I actually haven 't had a rest day ( I know , BAD GIRL ! ) but it 's because I will be in Wisconsin Saturday and Sunday with no gym time , so that will be rest enough . I actually can 't believe how well I have been doing , considering I am always tired . Like I mentioned before I think its because I can actually see my progress coming along ! I have also been consistent with my cardio . Only 30 minutes till the end of the month . After that , I will up it by 15 minutes . Switching off between the stair master and treadmill ( on an incline ) . Eating has also been terrific . Haven 't been snacking like last week which is also great . But my meals aren 't getting any special so not much to discuss there . . Had a quiet / relaxing weekend . I find that since I live 45 minutes from not only my boyfriend but my girlfriends as well , that I stay home quite a bit . I don 't mind 75 % of the time because I am one lazy motherfucker ( not to mention a broke motherfucker as well ) , but that 25 % of the time pisses me off . However , I don 't plan on changing anything anytime soon . School is starting soon . Mondays and Tuesdays I will be working from 9 - 5 then class from 6 - 9pm . The other class is still not posted which is a little bizarre to me considering it starts next Tuesday . I think this will be good for me though . Not only because I am slowly working on bettering myself ( I honestly wish I didn 't take this long to continue college , but it is what it is ) , but because I need to get out . I need something to put my mind at ease . The classes I am taking ( health and wellness , contemporary health issues and principals of wellness coaching ) , are something I need for the career path I am trying to follow so I am definitely looking forward to that . It 's always nice to actually learn something that you are interested in . Hopefully this is a small stepping stone to a bigger part of my life . I might feel overwhelmed at first , so I am leaving the job search till the end of the month . I am creating little goals for myself in the time being ( ie add / correct my resume , get organized ext ) . Small goals that will hopefully help me out in the long run so I think for now I am just going to deal with this job . I don 't want to deal with the added pressure of starting 3 classes and putting extra effort in starting a new job . I already know that I don 't want to waitress or bar - tend . I want to be in the fitness industry again . I don 't care if it 's front desk at a gym I just want to be in that atmosphere . Even if I took a pay cut , the travel from Grayslake to Northbrook costs me an entire weeks pay . However I think this could wait . Back to the weekend . . Friday night the boyfriend and I had a cute little date night at a local sushi place . It 's kind of been our go to sushi since the place we go to ( Dragon Fly ) is in the city . This place didn 't get good reviews at all which him and I were both surprised about . We have our two rolls ( Nikko and Crunchy Flower ) that we will always get but this time tried 2 new ones . They weren 't bad but they were huge and pretty much fell apart before I could get it into my mouth which pissed me off ( no joke … literally pissed me off . I feel I need anger management sometime . No lie . . It 's not that I like to get angry it just happens . . It like builds up over NOTHING . INSTANTLY ! ! ! ! Or maybe I am just bi polar . However . . later on I need to go talk to someone . I don 't need medicine nor do I want it . I just want answers . . or a better understanding of why the FUCK my mind works the way it does ) . We left the restaurant and had intentions of going to Mavericks which is a country bar about 15 minutes away with some of my friends . We ended up just going back to my place because my boyfriend wasn 't feeling well . He had to be up early anyways so it was okay . Besides . . I love just spending alone time with him so I didn 't mind . Woke up early and had to take Marley to the vet for her annual check up and rabies shot . She got her nails trimmed too because they were so long . I excused myself from the room because last time she did that she cried and looked at me with such sadness that I felt horrible . However listening to her from even outside the room wasn 't that better 😦 But as soon as I walked back in her tail was wagging and she seemed to be doing just fine . $ 200 later . . back to being broke till Tuesday . I was surprised that I had that little in my bank account but it is what it is . I made breakfast and a couple hours later went to the gym . Still doing full body work outs and 30 minutes cardio . Afterwards made myself a protein shake ( been LOVING them lately . Have actually been using greek yogurt instead of protein powder . 1 . because I 'm broke . . mhmmm it 's like $ 35 and 2 . because it 's actually pretty convenient and none of that added bullshit . It has 18g of protein and 7g of carbs ) . I fell asleep for about 2 hours and then cleaned my room like a mad man . Still need to go thru my clothes because I am convinced I am a hoarder when it comes to that . I hate throwing away clothes thinking I MIGHT want to wear it one day . Ol well . I also put some of my ( ex boyfriends gifts ) crap on ebay . The new app makes it SO easy . Check it out if you want anything Coach ( hand bags and shoes ) , I also have 2 watches up for sale ( shititsmar ) . Took it easy the rest of the night and passed out pretty early . The boyfriend didn 't get home till about 2 : 30am from a project he was trying to finish up in a couple hours . . that didn 't go as planned . So I woke him up around 12 figuring we would get together shortly after . He called and said he needed to go back so that was a bummer . It was my rest day and I had all this time on my hands haha . I cleaned up a bit more and decided to get to the gym even though I could of taken the day off . I cooked up some pancakes ( threw PB and Jelly on them ) and ate that for my post work out . I made these before ( up in Wisco when I decided not to go out fishing ) , and it was AMAZING . It tasted better when it was actual pancake mix but you cant hate on PB & J regardless . My boyfriend was upset I made it without him but I promise I will ( were going back next weekend so I GOTTCHU ) . This time I did the back ext machine , and some ab work outs and finished with 20 minutes on the stair master and 40 minutes on the treadmill . Made another protein shake and waited for the boy to arrive . We ended up going to Applebee 's ( I was in the mood for a salad ) but ended up getting steak and potatoes . . another fave of mine . I did eat a pretzel stick and a bite of a brownie but kept it really clean . I have been snacking thru out the weekend ( had some chocolate . . thank my period for that one . . I kid . . I just used that as an excuse and a 200 calorie serving of pizza ) . I have been super good this week though . I really want to put my all into this . I don 't know if I am going to take a full day off of working out this week because I will be up in Wisconsin this weekend . That means no gym . . however I swear the hike up to " spot " is a work out in itself . The only thing I am worried about is the drinking . I want to drink one night ( as a " cheat " ) and keep it clean the rest . We go grocery shopping so I am in control of that . I really don 't think we eat that bad ( we grill a lot ) but I am looking forward to a place we found not to far from the house . It has everything you could ever want to eat and is just awesome . Besides that I think its going to be a fine weekend . Nothing too extravagant , which I prefer . Keeping my cardio to 30 minutes still , but will be splitting up body parts ( ie back , shoulders ext each having their own day ) this week . I will still have 1 cheat meal and won 't be taking anything out just yet . I have to stay on top of the time and how long I really do have to prepare for this show . Eventually my fruit will go , my carbs will lessen , and my salt intake will drastically decrease . You would think this would upset someone , however I am super excited for the changes ! So work out wise everything has been going great . I have been getting in the gym consistently whether Ive been tired or not . I have only been doing 30 minutes of cardio no matter if I want t o go longer or not . Again I need to remember that I have 2 and 1 / 2 months left and can 't lose sight of that . I don 't want to get too lean and have it become a problem later ( I lost my ass last show ) . I just need to focus and be patient . As far as food goes , I have also been doing well . It 's basically brown rice , oatmeal and whole wheat pastas and breads for my carbohydrates . Chicken , red meat , greek yogurt and ground turkey for protein sources , and almonds and pb for fat sources . I also enjoy fruit at the moment . Fruit is high in sugar ( again , sugar is sugar ) so I can enjoy it now but later on I will need to cut it completely . I haven 't really been craving anything but if my sweet tooth says hello I take a bite or two of what I want . Like last night , I ate a Hershey kiss . Just one but it made me smile 🙂 The trick to eating right , is knowing the right things to eat BUT also enjoying life for what it is . I don 't want to feel guilty anymore when it comes to food . . It really is just embarrassing to me . The key is moderation . I am sure you have heard it all before but its the truth . Out side of working out , I have been struggling a little bit . I broke down yesterday ( Thursday ) at work because of a comment my boss made . Let it be known that I have been working here for 2 years , baby sit my bosses kids , and at his beck and call since the day I started here . Now I don 't expect royal treatment or anything of that sort , but I don 't think I deserve to be treated like this . I am the only girl in a body shop full of men . Hmm . . recipe for disaster ? Probably . . however I am a strong ( er ) female and can take most of what is thrown at me . . but when it boils down to it . . I just want to be respected . I have been called dumb numerous times . . retarded even . It just hurts . No one else is treated like this here at work when it comes to his employees so I often find myself wondering why . . Now . . did you catch that ? I said when it comes to his employees . . when it comes to outside workers . . now that 's a different story . Numerous times I have to apologize for his behavior . I have had numerous people ask me why hes like this , why he treats people like this and I have no answer . None of which that would suffice . I am embarrassed by the way he treats people . I have no idea why someone would want to act like this . . it baffles me . He is just rude . I know he is going through a big divorce but that doesn 't mean you can disrespect people . . make them feel like shit . I don 't know if its the silver spoon he was fed with when he was younger , or the fact that he has quite a few bucks in the bank . . regardless . still no need for the amount of disrespect in that mans body . I have beaten myself up over this , cried numerous times but as I stand today I wont let him get the best of me . I am going to go about my day , ignoring the belittling comments and finally take the time to find a job where the people actually give a fuck . At this point I don 't care what the fuck I do for a job , I just can 't be here anymore . He doesn 't deserve it . Doesn 't deserve much really but that 's not up to me . I do have to be thankful though , if it wasn 't for AW I wouldn 't have met the love of my life ( something he will never know . Someone that mean . . that rude and disrespectful ignorant and verbally abusive to just about any and everyone will never know how to love and care for someone . He just doesn 't have it in him and I feel bad . I feel bad for you Ron . I don 't know where this all stemmed from but I really think you need a reality check ) . So yesterday was better than Monday . Every day becomes a little easier but that 's not saying much . Cravings are always a killer especially because I am currently quitting smoking ( fml to say the least ) . They usually say that when you quit smoking you usually gain weight so I am making sure that I have healthy options by my side at all times ( cuttie oranges - remember seeing 3 in yesterdays post ? lol . . yep got 3 for today too ! Also have 2 100 calorie packs of almonds handy as well ) . Gum will also come in handy once in a while but so far it hasn 't been THAT hard ( I am also smoking 1 - 4 cigs a day , by the end of the week I 'll quit 100 % ) so well see in a week how I am doing . That is all I have for the hours of 9 - 5 ( work hours ) . I will have a small serving of ww pasta and ground turkey for a pre work out and finish the rest for my post work out meal . . WAIT ! ! ! Scratch that ! My boyfriend is coming over for dinner . I went last night after my work out to the store for a few things . Steak , Asparagus , and potatoes for us . Brown Rice , Chicken , and Greek Yogurt for a few meals for myself . I marinated the steaks already while I prepped a few meals for the rest of the week . I basically eat the same things , day in and day out mostly because I enjoy them so why change it up ? My 2 go to meals are chicken , brown rice and broccoli ( the chicken is marinated in a natural caesar like dressing and its to die for . Yes I will have to give this up later down the road but I can enjoy it now ) , and whole wheat pasta with ground turkey . Easy to make and prepare and they are SO tasty ! So after my work out I will snack on something small ( we usually don 't eat till late so I don 't want to go starving while I wait for him to arrive and the food cooks . Besides , POST WORK OUT MEALS ARE A MUST ! ! ! ! ! Don 't starve , never starve ! ! ! ! Eating more ( good foods ) is actually better than starving . . hmm who would of thought ? Regarding to working out , I have been doing full body work outs and will continue to do so till the end of the week ( or possibly the week after that ) . I don 't know why I am doing this but for some reason it is working out well and I am enjoying doing so . I started last nights work out with 60 squats . Light weight but remember I haven 't been to the gym in 2 weeks ! ! ! ! ! : 0 ! ! ! ! 😦 I broke it down to 6 sets , 10 reps each . I did normal , wide and closed legged squats 20 each . I then moved on to the chest press , lateral raises , and finished with back exts . Moved upstairs and did 30 minutes of inclined treadmill . Could of definitely of done more but I don 't want to rush this process as impatient as I am . I have 80 something days to go . I have to be smart . So like I mentioned earlier , I went to Jewel right after my work out because its on the way home . I forgot that I was going and didn 't take anything with me to eat after wards …… . so … I shopped around a bit and made my way to the health isle and ate a protein bar . Don 't worry I paid for it . Headed home , prepped my food and by that time it was 11pm . I got in bed and chit chatted with the lovely boyfriend for a while . Put my phone down around 1215 - 1230 and realized this morning that I need to go to bed earlier . Leaving y ' all with this recipe from Chocolate Covered Katie . It is oatmeal cupcakes . I haven 't been eating oatmeal lately because I haven 't been enjoying it . Stumbled upon this email with the recipe and thought how convenient . Hopefully they come out yummy and I can use them as snacks mid morning . Preheat oven to 380 F , and line 24 - 25 cupcake tins . In a large mixing bowl , combine all dry ingredients and stir very well . In a separate bowl , combine and stir all wet ingredients ( including banana ) . Mix wet into dry , then pour into the cupcake liners and bake 21 minutes . I also like to then broil for 1 - 2 minutes , but it 's optional . These oatmeal cakes can be eaten right away , or they can be frozen and reheated for an instant breakfast on a busy day . Slept at the boyfriends on Sunday so it gave me almost an entire hour of extra sleep ( I live far from work ) , so that was nice . Ultimately went about my day as usual as any other . I didn 't eat as much as I would of liked ( for some reason my appetite hasn 't been " normal " lately . Going on 2 weeks of being sick ) , but was still able to consume enough calories to work out . I got home around 6 and relaxed a bit for an hour and 1 / 2 . Well . . before I got dressed to head out my boyfriend called and said he was going to a bar . Then my friend " forgot " to call me back ( when all I wanted to do was just talk to her . I get in weird moods and we play phone tag sometimes but for some reason I just wanted someone to talk to ) . Checks in @ Xsport with her friend , then at Buffalo Wild Wings with another and apologizes she didn 't call . Well for some reason all this kind of irked me . Regardless , I headed to the gym and arrived around 7 : 45pm . I started doing my thing and I could feel my emotions arise . This wasn 't good , but I wasn 't stopping . Instead I started getting more pissed . Pissed at the situations , then pissed at myself for not pushing thru . Well I " gave up " around 8 : 10 . . I just threw in the towel . I walked my sorry ass upstairs to the cardio section and hopped on the treadmill . I finished 45 minutes but that was the end of that work out . Laying in bed creeping facebook and instagram , my boyfriend tried calling a couple times , as did Ashley . I ignored both and just wanted to be " alone " . I ended up calling my boyfriend back ( and texting Ashley ) , because as much as I was in my own world I love him dearly . We talked a bit and he wanted me to talk things out with him but the last thing I wanted to do was go back to the reasons I was upset . That lasted shortly . Something else came up that sparked my insecurities and I just balled . He then continued to tell me how much he loves and adores me but the tears kept falling . Listen , me telling you I am insecure as fuck doesn 't even scratch the surface . Yes , he has done some things that haven 't made it easy but most of those things wouldn 't of been a problem had I been secure . I just cried . I told him I don 't know if things are going to change , if I am going to change but I know I can 't live like this . It hurts so much , and again … doing this to myself . HE LOVES ME . SO WHAT THE FUCK IS THE PROBLEM ! ? ? ! ? ! ? ? ! ? ! ? ! I have never been with someone like him , someone who doesn 't mind reminding me why they love me or how much they love me . When it all comes down to it , it 's me . . . and I don 't know what to do , or if there is anything I can do . Will I be like this forever ? All I know is that I love this man so much . So much that any attention he puts out to another human , I am envious of . It 's sick and I am embarrassed . Clean eating is simply eating foods as close to their natural state as possible . Foods that are highly processed or contain highly processed ingredients are not considered " clean " foods . There are certain aspects of " clean eating " that vary from person to person , however that is the basic explanation of it !
|
Can you sense it ? The hint of cooler evenings and pleasant days - fall is just around the corner and I 'm so ready for it . Fall is by far my favorite season and time of year . The months of September and October are more enjoyable than any other timeframe . The cooler evenings just put me in a better mood . I can work outside for a while after getting off of work . The crockpot can make its way back to the counter top and be used for warm soups and ready to eat dinners of an evening . Okay , so maybe I 'm rushing it a little since it is still August but the start of school and football season always makes me wish I could slow the clock down and enjoy the beautiful fall weather for six months instead of just two or three . I don 't tend to do a lot of decorating for the seasons around my house these days . Putting them all up is always a lot of fun but taking them down is a pain . I do occasionally build a creative scarecrow to wave at ( or moon ) the neighbors as they drive by but scarecrows always bring up " the " discussion I wish would just go away . When Larry and I were first married , I decorated for every season and holiday . I would put my creative energy to use in trying to come up with the most unique holiday display in the neighborhood . That first fall , I knew exactly what I wanted to do . Larry was working long hours at his job so one evening I went to work on my creative endeavor . I actually had two goals in mind when I started building my friendly scarecrow . Not only was I decorating the front yard , I was also going to get rid of the most hideous shirt ever crafted by the fashion industry . Larry had this so called shirt that I could not stand to see him wear . The material looked like someone had picked up all the clippings off a sewing room floor and slapped them together to make one last shirt . I 'm pretty sure the manufacturer wondered if anyone would even buy it off the rack . It was an atrocious combination of stripes , plaids , polka dots , flowers , and swirls . There was not one solid color patch anywhere on Posted by There are so many perks to being an aunt . I 've spent years perfecting the spoil them and send them home technique . I even have the payback technique down to an art these days since my siblings were so good at hyping mine up and sending them home as well . A couple of weekends ago , Larry and I entered a whole new realm of being an aunt and uncle . We are once again honing our spoiling skills with the great niece and nephew but that weekend , we learned a new skill - dog sitting ! As my nephew took the family on a long weekend , we were asked to dog sit the most precious family pet - the weiner dog Annie . Little did we know the entertainment factor in dog sitting for the active and rambunctious dog would be far more valuable than anything money could buy . Annie is a rescue dog . Therefore , Annie loves life and exploring every crack and corner that life offers . This translates to Annie annoyed the daylights out of two cats for three solid days . Annie has far more energy than her appearance would lead you to believe . If you stretch the tape measure to the last possible mark , her legs might be four inches long . The sum total of all four legs is about a foot short of totaling the length of her body from nose to tip of tail . It does not affect her ability to cover ground in record time . It does lead to some problems for her in body control at times though . We first witnessed this after letting her out of the kennel the first evening she was with us . Her curiosity led her to exploring the house - much to Zoey 's dismay . I wasn 't sure what caused the commotion at first . I heard a snarling scream from the cat followed closely by the clickety - click of Annie 's pursuit down the hallway . Zoey was on record setting pace through the dining room and into the kitchen with Annie close behind . The corner to the basement steps where Zoey sought refuge was no problem for the nimble cat . Annie tried her best to stay on track but unlike Zoey who knew to slow down before making the sharp turn , Annie failed to slow for the hairpin lefPosted by The family that floats together . . . has lots of stories to tell ! The annual family float trip is over and I 'm exhausted . Not because of the trip itself - I want to go back for more . It 's the unpacking , washing of clothes , and putting everything away that wears me out . But it is worth every ounce of energy it takes to recover . Last week I told you about my lack of luck in the fishing department . Thankfully , that did get better - the last day we were there . In my defense , one of the naturalists at the lodge did say everyone was having a hard time catching much this year since the river was down and it had been so hot . I 'll stick with that excuse . Once again the float trip was a memorable day . There were 22 of us in five rafts and enough food to feed everybody that floated by us that day . Yes , floated by us ! We got on the river about 10 : 30 a . m . and came off at 7 : 30 that night . We live by the motto that it is a " float " trip , not a " paddle " race . The only time the paddles tend to hit the water are when we come to a dead stop or if we need to direct ourselves away from hanging trees or clumps of grass on the edge . Snakes like those areas and staying away from snakes is a priority for most of us . It isn 't hard to tell if the raft Larry is in gets anywhere near a snake . As it speeds past everyone else , I find myself looking for the motor mounted on the back . I then realize they don 't need a motor when Larry sees a snake . He paddles fast enough to outpace any outboard manufactured . Several years ago we started renting the rafts versus the canoes . Several in the family cannot swim and we have increasing numbers of smaller cousins joining the floating crew every year so it made sense . The rafts won 't tip , dumping anyone into deep water . That doesn 't mean everyone stays dry . It has become a tradition for the young men in the family to take Uncle John down at some point on the trip . This year was no exception . I made sure Zane and Mariska both had water guns insuring Donald wouldn 't have a dry spot onPosted by God has quite the sense of humor . My family goes on a float trip and trout fishing vacation every summer and I have resisted being bit by the fishing bug for many years . Last year , it finally sought me out and bit hard . God 's sense of humor kicked in because he also started whittling away at my patience about the same time . For anyone who enjoys trout fishing in Missouri State Parks , you know exactly how much fun and frustrating it can be all wrapped into one big wad of fishing line . For anyone who has never been , I have a little bit of explaining to do . The spring fed rivers in southern Missouri provide a great place for the state to release hatchery - raised rainbow trout for fishing enthusiasts . The water is clearer than the water that comes out of my faucet most days . The cold water will make your eyes snap open faster than munching on a coffee bean of a morning . Who wouldn 't want to go fishing when you can see those little buggers floating five feet in front of you ? It sounds like the perfect setup , doesn 't it ? Hatchery raised fish are fed from the day they hatch . Floating fish food makes breakfast , lunch , and dinner easy to find and catch . It also makes for stupid fish - in theory anyway . Enthusiasm for the sport runs high every evening at the lodge as the daily tags fly from the pile behind the counter to eager fishermen . As I stand in line for my first tag of the year , my confidence abounds . With a daily limit of four fish , I just know that with the first three casts of my line , I 'm going to have enough fish for my supper . I can then leisurely cast the rest of the day , only keeping the last fish so I can make my way back to my air - conditioned trailer for a nap . The blare of the alarm clock at 5 : 30 a . m . the next morning puts the first dent in my armor of enthusiasm . I am not a morning person . But I willing drag myself out of my warm nest to go show these people how to make trout fishing look like kids play . I pour myself into my waders , strap on my fishing vest with pride , ensure my tag is secure to my Posted by The first weeks of July always take me back . For most people , July brings memories of family bbq 's , fireworks , time spent at the lake , and vacations . I have one very fond memory dealing with July that has absolutely nothing to do with any of those things . I get a reminder in the mail every six months that allows me to relive that hair - raising day in July back in 1995 . Yes , I remember the year . Only because Jake was a tiny baby and didn 't mind riding in a car seat every day as we made our way to town . The girls on the other hand , had a totally different view of car seats . They hated them . Joni just complained all the way to town and the mother hen in her would chastise Jeana , aka Houdini , every time she managed to escape the restrictive straps and buckles that contained her energy . This particular morning was not going well . I was late - again . Getting all the kids into the mini van that morning had been particularly nerve racking . We had moved the back seat to the middle and all three children were lined up , properly restrained ( next to each other ) and the girls were not too happy about it . Jake , on the other hand , really didn 't care . He was sleeping peacefully and nothing was going to wake him - his sisters had already conditioned him to be a heavy sleeper . As I was making my way down Highway 24 , I caught unfamiliar movement in the rear view mirror . I looked up just in time to see the bottom of Houdini 's feet flip over the back of the seat into the rear of the van . Mother Hen immediately started chastising Jeana about the evils of escaping the car seat . I sighed ; looked up and realized the car coming at me could spell trouble ; looked down and realized that as I was trying to make sense of the chaos in the back seat , my foot had gotten a little heavy ; and realized that in the matter of mere seconds I was toast ! The highway patrol car lights burst into action . Joni burst into screaming fits . Jeana burst into laughter . I pulled over and was hoping to have the chaos in my vehicle under control before he madePosted by The summer months usually mean crazier than ever schedules around our house . Jake is crazy busy playing basketball , various camps , and managing to find time to work in between it all . We always have more than enough projects to keep us busy around the farmette . Throw in some mandatory horseback time and all the family time we can muster and I 'm exhausted every night . This year , Larry finely got to go on the vacation of his dreams . The first week of June he loaded his horse , saddle , and a food cooler in my brother 's trailer and left for a few days of ranch work on a real , modern day ranch . He was in heaven - but so was I ! Whenever Larry has to leave for a few days , it means I have a few more chores to do but a few days apart also means a small break in the ongoing war . I love the man and all but I won 't lie - I like having a queen size bed to myself for a night or two here and there . No fighting over covers , pillows or property lines . Yes , property lines . It is an ongoing battle for us . Getting eight , uninterrupted hours of sleep is virtually unheard of for either one of us . Between the jerk and roll of the blanket that has sent me tumbling to the floor on occasion ; the snoring and the ensuing elbow to the rib cage that makes him mad every time ; and the fights over where exactly the center of the bed is , somebody is bound to be rudely awaken during the night . This battle is nothing new to us . When we first got married , the baffleless waterbed was our first war zone . Larry found great humor in the " run and jump " which caused waves big enough to launch me over the side and onto the floor . The waterbed finally had to go after the night he was having nightmares about snakes and in his attempt to get away from the slithering , slimy creatures , he once again sent me overboard . Yup , the waterbed had to go ! The war reached epic proportions a couple of years ago . The battle of who took up more space after falling asleep reached a fever pitch . After one particularly sleepless night , I decided to end the war once anPosted by My column is usually pretty laid back and meant to beentertaining but this week I would like to take the opportunity to reach out to all the readers of CVNP and ask a big favor . This week 's feature story is a topic that is near to my heart . As I did the interviews for the piece , the conversations certainly took a very personal turn . In June 2004 , my family went through a deeply emotional loss . Our daughter ( and sister , granddaughter , niece , cousin , and friend ) Jeana , died from head trauma following a fall . We were able to hold onto her for a little while with assistance from modern medicine ( machines ) but brain trauma was more than her body could compensate for and we were forced to make the decision no family ever wants to make . For reasons none of us know or understand , our family was not approached about Jeana being an organ donor . Later in the evening , we received a phone call asking for a tissue donation , which we quickly agreed to . Although the life saving donation of vital organs could no longer be made , we chose to make the life - enhancing donation of corneal and heart valve tissue . It is a decision we will never forget or regret . Early in our marriage , Larry and I had discussed organ donation and how far we wanted life saving measures to be carried through in the case of a medical emergency . It was never a conversation we ever dreamed of having with or about our children . As we were faced with the decisions we had to make in the hours after Jeana 's accident , it was not a topic that crossed our minds . As I said before , we don 't know why we were not approached about the possibility of Jeana being an organ donor . She would have been a perfect candidate to save the lives of many . As I was doing research earlier this year trying to find ideas for stories to write , I looked up all the " national month " designations online . The April designation of " Donate Life " screamed at me to do something in honor of my daughter 's 19th birthday on the 21st of this month . After the shock of her death wore off and www . missouriorgandonor . com Please register with your state organ / tissue donor registry wherever you are from ! ! I don 't follow a lot of politics , but the recent laws wanting to restrict farm kids from being able to work on the family farm really baffles me . Some of the most important lessons I ever learned were as a farm kid . I would think since the government is looking to hire the next generation at some point , they would want employees that have learned the lessons farm kids learn by working on the family farm . Doing chores everyday instilled work ethic into my young mind . I didn 't mind most chores except for those stupid chickens . I hated the laying hens with a passion . I couldn 't leave eggs lying under the roost just because I didn 't want to crawl through the droppings . Not to mention , if you left to many eggs behind , other critters would come eat both the eggs and chickens . I didn 't mind so much when chickens became dinner for other creatures but it tended to upset Mom . I despised having to get the " sitting " hens off the nest of eggs they were so closely guarding . They were determined to turn that egg into a baby - I was determined to turn it into either breakfast or noodles . I had a special stick that I kept at the door of the chicken coop that was tailor made for those feathered beasts . I 'd poke at them and they would peck at me everyday . I always won the initial battle . They usually won the war though since they would attack me as I was leaving . I did get the last laugh though . Since we never kept roosters around , they were never going to get that baby anyway . My family will vouch for the fact that I loved all animals except for those stupid chickens . I got in trouble more than once for finding the barn cats new litter of kittens and taming them down . I was notorious for picking either a fat hog or a calf out of the lot as a pet . Then I would bawl hysterically when they were hauled off to the packing plant . But when it came to the chickens , I could care less . That attitude led me to one of the worst butt whippings of my life . The physical pain was no big deal . The pain of knowing who administered it lPosted by Memories come flooding back to me at some of the weirdest times . I can 't seem to get any of my " city " friends to come walking with me of an evening at my house . They all seem to have an aversion to walking on gravel . The other night in my quest to get some kind of workout in , I resorted to taking the bird dog walking with me . It turned out to be a good move . Not only did I turn the mile and a half trip into closer to two miles , I got some resistance training in as well . Mattie was convinced that the road ditches were full of quail and was enthusiastically going from side to side to check every inch for birds . My normal trek was easily extended and she unknowingly powered it up even more . Mattie spent at least at least 25 minutes of the 30 pulling me down the road . I had the brakes on most of the trip so I had built in resistance training . I 'm sure I looked like a carton character at more than one point as I was bracing myself at the end of the leash to hold on . The brakes were applied and my heels were dug in for traction . Our gravel road has a couple of pretty big washboards in it . There is probably a start for two or three more to form from the divots I left as Mattie continued her mission of finding every bird in the county in that short section of road . As we reached the stop sign at the highway I tried to turn around to head back home . Mattie in her excitement made the turn and headed back to the house via the tunnel created by my legs bracing for her to hit the end of the leash . The leash formed a firm grasp on my ankles and I realized things were about to get really ugly . I managed to catch myself on her back and maintain my upright position - barely . I 'm pretty sure the trucker that passed by about that time is still laughing . I stopped for a minute to catch my breath and calm Mattie . As I was looking around , a memory hit . I 'm not sure why this particular event came flooding back but it made me chuckle all the way home . There used to be a mobile home across the highway from where we turn onto HwPosted by I think I am suffering from withdrawal . I checked my calendar this week and there were no basketball games to attend or take pictures at . I wasn 't sure what to do with my time . I did manage to keep myself from shaking and crying too much by working on cleaning up some of the mess in my house but that wasn 't near as exciting as games . I have to say I 'm proud of the Salisbury boys basketball team for many reasons this year . Of course , I 'm especially proud of the second place state finish . WOW ! District tournament began the last week of February and fielded 122 Class 2 boys teams . What an amazing accomplishment to play through the season and finish as one of the four premiere teams in the state . With that being said , there is a much more important reason to be proud of this group of young men other than their state finish . I have been a part of the excitement surrounding this group of junior guys since Jake joined their class as a seventh grader . I have watched some of the juniors and seniors since they were in the second and third grade when they started playing football . Needless to say , I have a case of bleacher behind from all the hours spent watching them in various sports over the course of the years . This entire group of young men has always been a great example of sportsmanship and composure both on and off the field . Yes , they have been " boys " at times , that 's what makes them all loveable and fun to be around . But as they have entered high school and the spectrum of people watching them have expanded , they have always tried to set an example of what high school sports is all about . As some of the younger boys meld into the team , it isn 't hard to see they are following the example set by the older guys . They have won with grace and humility . They have lost with poise and dignity . Their composure on the court when down by what seemed like insurmountable odds could teach some adults a few things . The boys on the bench are some of the most enthusiastic supporters of the guys on the floor . They win yougotmel
|
For the ( probably ) last time , here I present final pictures of my completed Knitting Olympics project - the Noro scarf in a fishtail pattern . I do really like how it 's turned out . And it 's light enough that I can wear it inside , too , as an accessory , which I 've done a couple of times now . I 've been wearing this quite a lot , to tell the truth . My dream is that someone I don 't know , somewhere will stop me to tell me how beautiful it is and where did I get it . I know that this won 't happen , because everybody these days wears gorgeous scarves , so mine really isn 't anything out of the ordinary . But I did come close today , to that dream . When I was at the counter in Lewiscraft , the clerk reached out to my scarf and asked what kind of yarn it was , and how beautiful it is ( the yarn ) and how much she loves Noro . It 's close to gushing over the scarf itself , so I 'll take it . And now more pictures . These were taken on my oh - so - picturesque balcony of concrete . But the trip out today wasn 't just to display the scarf ( although that may have been enough to keep me happy ) . I also made a stop at Lush , and picked up some fun bath stuff that I plan to bring on my next hotel stay . I love using a bath tub that gets cleaned every day , as opposed to my own , that get cleaned . . . um . Yep , it gets cleaned . I love the Lush stuff - it 's so pink and pretty and smells so yummy . Then it was off to Lewiscraft , where I encountered the wonderful Noro - wise sales clerk , and greatly expanded my stash with much yarn that I have no idea what to do with . But I really like the bright orange , fluffy stuff . That may end up yet another scarf , unless I can think of something else fun . And , finally , I picked up a little something for Sebastian . Apparently . I am being a bad neighbour . I currently have the Grey 's Anatomy soundtrack playing so loudly that even I find it a tad uncomfortable . ( It 's good , by the way ) But the reason that I have this excessive volume isn 't to tick off my neighbours - that 's just such a bad idea that it 's incomprehensible . No , it 's the result of someone a floor ( or maybe two ) above me playing - something - so loudly that the rhythmless , pounding bass sounds more like construction being done by monkeys than like any kind of music . I don 't understand it - if it was even a beat , or a repeating pattern , then I could identify it as music and just kind of ignore as best I can . But it 's not - it just seems like some kind of random banging that is seeping into my brain via the base of my skull and curdling there into a pulsing knot of pain . At least the knot has a beat . I am about to venture out in search of respite from the noise . Yes , that 's right - mark it on your calendar - on a weekend , I am leaving my house . It turns out Lewiscraft has gone under , so I 'm going to Square One to pick over the remains for any yarn that I can subsequently stuff into my ever - growing stash . I 'm also going to try to get an outdoor shot of the scarf , to have an official , Olympics closing ceremony day picture of my completed project , that can show the colours as they really are , and not the flash - faded , hard to make out colours from the other day . In the interest of full - disclosure , I did leave the house last night , as well . I went with Deena and a friend of hers to a housewarming party for ( another ) friend of theirs in Guelph . It turned out to be an odd sort of reunion for me . The beginning of the evening was full of , " Did you go to Guelph ? " , " Yeah , you look really familiar " conversation . And it progressed to a room full of engineers , iron rings flashing in the subdued light , talking about P . Eng exams and EITs , and what the other engineers we knew are doing now , which was all rather surreal , with the Calling of An Engineer framed on the wall nearby . It did make me feelPosted by No , I 'm not talking about the women 's hockey gold medal - although , yes , I must admit that that is impressive and exciting . But not as exciting as my Knitting Olympics victory . : ) I have successfully knit a lacy , kind of complicated ( for me ) pattern , during which I had to pay a great deal of attention , which meant that it couldn 't be done while watching any ( good ) TV . And , for the first time ever , I have blocked a project . I won 't even say ' successfully ' , however . It 's not quite what I was originally going for , but I 'm still really happy with the result . It 's amazing to see the difference the blocking made . It really relaxed the fibres , and stretched it out , so that what felt kind of lumpy and almost stiff before , now feels like a fabric , with a lovely drape to it . And now , for posterity , here I do present the Blocking Process . First , here is the scarf before I blocked it . On the right , you can see the length of the scarf , helpfully held up by Mr . Peanut . On the left , you can see a closeup of the knit . You can 't see much of the lacey pattern here . It kind of just looks like a messy lump . So , step one of the whole blocking process is to soak in lukewarm , very slightly soapy water . And , because I was camera happy , here is what that looks like . After the soaking , I rinsed and then squished ( gently ) in a clean towel . Then next came the fun part . The pinning . Here , Sebastian helps me out by overseeing the process . Only coincidentally taking advantage of the pile of bedding temporarily ( and messily ) shoved aside . And I also answered for myself the question of what to do when the ' pinning surface ' isn 't long enough ( because I like scarves that are long , long , long ) . Yes , that 's a pillow there propped up . So the whole idea of blocking is that you 're putting the piece of knitting into the shape that you want it to be . Aside from the awkward grammar involved in that last sentence , it really does work . So , as you can see , I made a little error here . See those little scalloped edges ? Yeah , didn 't want those . ( cat added for interest Posted by Yay ! Today the magic knitting gnomes worked in my favour . A package full of all my knitting goods travelled from Windsor to Toronto in well under 24 hours , sent through Canada Post . This is nothing short of a true miracle , especially considering my Mail Curse . ( see my mad Paint skillz ? ) For three years in a row , I tried to send presents to my friend Jen in Calgary - little packages , big packages , Christmas packages . And none of them made it . So sad . The worst was the first one . Jen had told me that she was missing the Ontario falls , full of reds and oranges and apple picking and pumpkins . Not so much of that in an Alberta fall . So I put together a little box , full of leaves and fresh picked apples and cookies and pictures of our colours and leaves and us apple picking . And it disappeared , never to be seen again . I hope whoever took it choked on the cookies . After the first package , I learned to insure them . So at least I ended up with a bit of money back about a month after sending the package . But it was still maddening . Things she sent me got to me , so some evil appeared to be happening only in a westward direction . Then a package coming to me from eBay was lost , and the curse seemed to be spreading . This past Christmas , we had a scare when we thought I 'd used an old address , but things turned out okay , so the curse may be broken . And today 's package may be confirmation . At the very least , the package is my salvation - I had no idea what I was going to do with no sticks and string to occupy my little fingers while I watch copious amounts of television . I am back home again . Good and bad . First off , the good - ish . My old camera finally failed me one too many times . It 's gone to a good home - my brother has taken possession and he 's going to tear it to bits to see what 's gone wrong . But at this point it looks like a lost cause . And here 's where the good ( ish ) comes in . I cannot be without a camera . I just can 't . So , this means , of course - I have a new baby . I loved my digital elph , and so when I was looking to adopt a new one , I didn 't have far to look . Here 's my new baby . ( yes , it 's a mirror shot because it 's fun and I 'm a geek ) And speaking of new babies , I finally got to meet little Nicole . She didn 't really wake up much while I was there , but she 'd had a tough day involving thrush and rashes , so I can understand . And finally meeting Nicole meant , of course , finally getting to present the blanket . I think they liked it . Now I want to make another . But first , here is Nicole . And , of course , the little show stopper herself , Dana . It was nice getting to see them all again - after living with them for six weeks ( well , not so much with Nicole ) last summer , they kind of felt like a surrogate family , and I really felt like I lived Alone when I finally went back to my own place . As for the Olympics - yes , I did cast on last Friday , during the opening ceremonies , even . Here is what I have so far . I 'm making progress , which is gratifying . Especially since I had to restart it four times the first night . This is my real Olympic challenge - it 's not that the pattern is very complicated , or that there are any new stitches or techniques here for me . What 's the real challenge is that I have to pay close attention to what I 'm doing . I 'm used to patterns that are mindless , or very repetitive , so that once I 've done a bit , I can knit away without concentrating on my needles and yarn . But with this pattern , I have to read the pattern continuously as I go along , and I have been very easily distracted . What I 'm loving about this project is the yarn - I love watching the colours change , Posted by And now I am in Windsor . Much to my dismay , I was informed upon my arrival that the wireless network usually in my parents ' house is absent , due to router problems . So my laptop is like a paperweight on this trip , and I 'm left using my dad 's computer . Last night I went to a surprise party for the last one in our group who was turning 30 . I was the first ( kinda ) . I wasn 't sure I wanted to go - just being the day that I arrived , maybe only knowing a couple of people there , trying to dredge up small talk from some deep recess in my brain that might know how to do that . But it turned out that my parents were going out , and my brother was having gamer friends over , so it was kind of the only good option I had . I am glad that I did go . I ended up learning a couple of new games and having a good time . Thank goodness for board games . Unless it 's with people I really know and can talk to easily , I hate sitting in groups , trying to keep a conversation alive and think of things to say to people I barely know . I 'm so very , very bad at small talk . But if you have a board game , you 're not trying to discuss something , and you 're suddenly in a team with a bunch of people who have now automatically ( if temporarily ) become your friends and your companions - in - arms . We played ' Catch Phrase ' , which is a bit like Taboo , and then later we played ' Left , Centre , Right ' , a game involving quarters and dice . I couldn 't help thinking as we played the first game that everything had come full circle . I was sitting at a dining room table with all the women at the party , while the men were downstairs , listening to classic rock and playing pool . And most of the women were talking about their kids and potty training and how to deal with attitudes , and the funny things they said ( this was the part of the night where my eyes glazed over a wee bit ) . And when the phone rang at one point and the hostess answered and asked , " Maybe - who 's your mom ? " I felt like I was 12 years old again , but looking through the wrong end of a telescope . I can remember calliPosted by The Australian team is carrying little yellow stuffed kangaroos . The Austrian team is wearing these hats that make it look like everyone has spiky black hair sticking out the top of a visor . The Belgian flag bearer is hawt . What ? Bermuda - is . . . here . ( Bermuda ? ) Yay ! Canada just came in ! And they 're looking . . . pretty goofy . Boo to the Bay outfits - bring back Roots ! No one is going to be buying these silly , silly hats . And the coats look like winter weight lab coats or something . Okay - the Danes look kind of silly , too , with their little ear covers . I feel better . Ethiopia ? Oh , that 's sad - there 's just one guy here ! There are a couple of ' team officials ' walking with him so it 's not just him carrying the flag all by himself . Maybe he can hang out with the Bermuda team - they 're a pretty small team , too . The German women have the coolest hats ! They look like they have bright orange and green braids hanging down beside their faces . I want one of those hats . Oh - another lonely , lonely athlete . From Kenya this time . I should be knitting . K - getting back to knitting . Oh , and if you 're interested in a ' real ' recap of the opening ceremonies ( complete with a wee bit of snark , check this out ) Just some observations . I can 't find the post , but a while back in the forums , someone was asking about e . l . f . cosmetics . It caught my interest , because I am pretty frugal ( read : cheap ) and the items are all only $ 1 each . So I ended up ordering a bunch of things to try out , and thought I 'd pass on my thoughts , for what they 're worth . The eyeshadows - the pallettes are a little small , but I like the powders themselves - nice colours , blend easily , and have a little bit of shine to them , without being tacky - glittery . The lip balm - nice enough , I like the feel , but the scent is a little off . Not unpleasant , but not quite the ' vanilla cream ' promised . The lip gloss - not bad , but kind of sticky on the lips ( catches my hair , which is just ick ) and the scent is far , far from whatever it 's supposed to be - it 's more like cough syrup . The mascara - don 't bother . It 's a neat idea , with the two kinds in one tube , but the regular takes forever to dry , so blinking is verboten for several minutes . And the waterproof kept flaking all day , leaving me with the need to run to the washroom every half hour to wipe up the little teeny black chunks of colour under my eyes . The eyeliner - I like . Runs a little bit , but no more than any others I 've tried . And it has a bit of shine to it , which is nice . So there are my thoughts . Take them for what they 're worth , keeping in mind that I wear only eyeshadow and mascara most days , and have never ventured into the realm of products costing over $ 10 . In summary : 1 ) They 're very inexpensive , which is very good . Each item is only $ 1 , and shipping is a flat fee of $ 7 - that 's to Canada . It 's only $ 5 to the States . 2 ) And they 're a decent value and quality for that price , overall . I 'll probably get a few other people who might want to stock up and we can all go in on one order , later . ( read : when I need more stuff ) 3 ) Shopping on the internet is fun . Getting packages is fun . Playing with new makeup is fun . In other news , tomorrow I am off to Windsor ( or Saturday morning if I am lazy , and I probably am ) . So tonight I have to decide Posted by 3 days to the Olympics ! Here is a sort of preview of my project . This is the pattern I 'm going to be using - kinda . I 'll only have three of the loopy bits across the pattern , and my yarn is entirely different - I 'll be using the Noro silk garden that I raved about a while back . I have to admit openly that this is not all a generation of my imagination and creativity . It 's directly copied from an idea by Aspenglow here , so credit definitely needs to go where it 's due . Unless , of course , the thing turns out looking awful , in which case that would be entirely my fault . Sadly , it looks like I won 't be able to cast on along with the 3000 other knitters in the Olympics . I 'm heading down to Windsor this weekend , so I 'll most likely be driving during the ( replay of ) the opening ceremonies . I might think about not leaving until Saturday morning , but we 'll see how that plays out . My non - knitting project is compiling right now as I type ( which is actually causing a very annoying typing delay , that and a crappy ( and sadly ' new ' ) keyboard ) . It 's my annual photostory . Can I call it ' annual ' when I 've only done it once before ? Well , I am . I did this last year , and I loved the results . It 's such a fun program , easy to use and best of all , free ! I pick out all my favourite pictures for the whole year , some appropriate music , and voila ! A great , beautiful little slideshow . Well , that 's if ' voila ' means adjusting timing and framing and editing pictures . But still , it 's overall quick and painless . I installed the program probably a bit over two hours ago . Since then , I 've made and eaten dinner and gotten a load of laundry half done , and finished the photostory . I wish I could put the finished thing here in my blog , but I really don 't think I can . It 's probably for the best . Enough people will be subjected to it when I burn it to dvd and bring it everywhere with me . heh heh hehOverall , it 's turning out to be a really good night so far . Groceries on the way home , a yummy pesto pasta dinner , getting laundry done , getting the photostory doPosted by I have discovered a new love - the Google Reader . Now I can just go to one place and see all my time wasting activities laid out , waiting for me . Of course , this makes my time wasting more efficient , which , I guess , is kind of . . . redundant . Oh , well , it 's a fun new toy that I 've found and I 'm enjoying it . Yes , that 's right . I declare my discovery of a service that the rest of the world caught on to quite a while ago . That 's just my way . I keep seeing the little orangey " RSS " at the bottom of all these blogs and webpages , and wondering exactly how this voodoo works , and keeping clear of it because it is Foreign and New . And my geekiness only extends so far . Beyond a certain point , that 's where my brother picks it up and runs with it . I like to think that I am fairly technically savvy . At work , I am a ' go to ' gal for all kinds of things , including spreadsheets and internet stuff , and I usually represent myself pretty respectably . At least to the point that I continue to be a ' go to ' gal . But when it comes to anything that could possibly harm my computer , or my files , then it is Fear . Any windows update , any configuration changes , any unexpected error messages , the ' go to ' girl turns into a blubbering mess . Computer problems stress me out more than just about anything . They keep me awake at night . A day that ends without a working computer results in a sleepless night . Whenever I move , and I don 't have the internet for several days at a time , I 'm a mess , unable to figure out anything from the address of the nearest bank to my bank account numbers . My main problem ( aside from Internet disconnectedness ) is when I encounter anything that is New . Now , the RSS feed thing is New , but doesn 't really have the potential to do any harm should I screw it up royally . Any time that I encounter anything of that ilk , I run , crying , to my brother . And he tells his geeky friends about the time his computer illiterate sister managed to accidentally unplug her hard drive from the . . . um . . other thingy . . . and then the computer ( obviously ) Posted by I love that I can bring my laptop home on the weekends . Being able to sit in bed and read my comics and email and click around the forum and read blogs makes it a little more bearable that I keep waking up way too early every Saturday morning . I have a love / hate relationship with the weekend . All week , I long for the weekend . Every day I wish it were Friday . I rush home Friday night ( most of the time ) and . . . that 's where it all falls apart . Because I do nothing with my weekends , and come Sunday night , I feel like I 've just wasted the past two days with nothing but garbage tv and movies . I wake up on Saturday and think that I 'm going to get all kinds of things done , go out and do laundry and get groceries and be accomplished . Then I don 't get out of my jammies until sometime mid - afternoon and continue to waste away the days on the couch . At least yesterday I did get out of the house once . I went out to dinner at Wildfire Steakhouse and Wine Bar with Deena and her family . It was a nice night , and afterwards we played dominoes , which was new to me , but fun . Today I finally started the blanket that I was originally going to give to my dad for his birthday . Now , considering that his birthday is next week , well , who knows when this will be done and when it will get to him . On the bright side , I just cable knit for the first time . Unfortunately , I 'm using a bumpy yarn ( as called for in the pattern ) so you can 't see the cables at all . I 'm tempted to just plain old knit a huge rectangle and be done with it . In other knitting news , I 've been training for the Olympics . My plan is to knit as my project a fishtail patterned scarf out of the silk Noro . I found a similar pattern for a washcloth , and I 'm making up a few to get the hang of it . With such beautiful yarn as the Noro , I really don 't want to have to pull it apart over and over again whenever I make a mistake . For now , I 'm going to make up some chicken tikka masala for my dinner and then keep on with the blanket in front of whatever comes on tv . The wonderful curry smellsPosted by
|
So for 2013 my goal was to read 100 books . And I … fell short . BY 6 BOOKS ! ! ! ! Ugh . All that studying got in my way . But I accomplished my goals of school , so I guess I 'll accept that I only read 94 books ( haha , only ) . I read some awesome books this year , and quite a few awesome series ( serieses ? I know that 's wrong but it 's kinda cool . ) I also read some not so awesome books ( City of Fallen Angels , I 'm looking at you ) . And I even read some books that I had to put down repeatedly because I would feel rage coming on ( Beautiful Disaster , I 'm side - eyeing the shit out of you ) . And yes , there were some books I started and simply could never finish , such as The Magicians and Mrs . Quent , which I conveniently lost my place in 1 / 4 of the way through . I also couldn 't finish City of Lost Souls , even on an audiobook , because I just could not handle Clary and Jace for one more second . Sorry Ms . Clare . I picked 13 books / series that were my top favorites of the year . Yes I combined stand - alones and series because I really couldn 't decide on the books in the series that I included . They are in no order , they are just the ones that I loved the most . The Percy Jackson and the Olympians series by Rick Riordan ( The Lightning Thief , The Sea of Monsters , The Titan 's Curse , The Battle of the Labyrinth , and The Last Olympian ) . Oh I loved reading all about the life of Percy Jackson and his friends in this series . As I 've said all year , Rick Riordan hooks me in from the beginning and when I finish I want more . And speaking of Rick Riordan series , the next title on my list is : The Heroes of Olympus series by Rick Riordan ( The Lost Hero , The Son of Neptune , The Mark of Athena , and The House of Hades ) . These ones were slightly darker than the PJO series , and the wait between The Mark of Athena and The House of Hades was terrible . This series is not yet complete , we still have The Blood of Olympus to read soon . Oh booooy … Love these books . The Darkest Minds Series by Alexandra Bracken ( The Darkest Minds , In Time , and Never Fade ) . This series was a wonderfully dark and addictive series that I can 't wait to read the final installment of and I hope that Ms . Bracken does another short story between Never Fade and the final ( still untitled ) book . Yes , I did think they were slightly creepy , but I did not mind it at all , I could not put the books down ever . A Million Suns and Shades of Earth by Beth Revis . I started reading this trilogy in 2012 , and loved the last two books in it so much . Yes , the cover change drove me nuts , but the content of the books , sci - fi fantasy , were perfect all the same . The Time Traveler 's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger . Oh this book . This beautiful , painful book . The final bits of this book absolutely destroyed me and the whole thing was just so wonderful . If you 've seen the movie with Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams , but haven 't read the book , please read the book . They left so much out in the movie and some of the parts they left out were so wonderful . The Infernal Devices Trilogy by Cassandra Clare ( Clockwork Angel , Clockwork Prince , Clockwork Princess ) . This series was everything The Mortal Instruments series wasn 't . It was much better written than TMI was , and the characters were so much more interesting . I loved reading about Will , Jem , Tess , Charlotte , and Henry and all the others . I also loved seeing the creations and backstories on many people , places , and things in TMI , and loved seeing ancestry of certain TMI characters . And while some may not have loved the ending , I really did . Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell . Oh this book , this lovely , wonderful book . I read this in December , so look for more about it in the December Wrap Up post , but this book was just so wonderful . I loved Cath and Wren and Reagan and Levi . It was so great . Now I have to read Eleanor and Park because Rowell has me hooked on her writing . The Divergent Trilogy by Veronica Roth ( Divergent , Insurgent , and Allegiant ) . Yay dystopia ! Tris was such a great character , and while the ending of this series may have been ( SPOILER ALERT ! ! ! ! ) painful , it was a great series and I sort of understand why Roth wrote the ending the way she did . READ THESE BOOKS BEFORE THE MOVIE COMES OUT ! The movie will be great though , can 't wait to see it . The 5th Wave by Rick Yancy . Alien invasion , dis - trust of everyone , and some awesome characters made this book so great . I had no clue who to believe and who not to believe and was hooked through every sentence . I cannot wait for The Infinite Sea to come out , pre - ordered and everything . Although I can say I 'm only slightly disappointed the second book won 't be titled " The 6th Wave " . Legend Trilogy by Marie Lu ( Legend , Prodigy , Champion ) . Wow this series was great . Everything about it from the covers to the type - color in each book for Day to the plot was awesome . Although dammit that ending ! June , you should have set Day straight ! ! ! ARGH ! But the world was so cool and the characters were awesome , I 'm so glad I picked the series up . Hopefully Ms . Lu will write something new in the next few years . The Women of the Underworld Series by Kelley Armstrong ( Bitten , Stolen , Dime Store Magic , Industrial Magic , Haunted , Broken , and No Humans Involved ) . Meera started me on this series this past summer and it has been so fun so far . I love that they have Elena , female werewolf , as one of the main characters . All the women in these books are awesome , and some of them started as kind of wimpy and really grew in the books . I still have six more to go in this series , and I 'm sure they 're all gonna be awesome ! The Gemma Doyle Trilogy by Libba Bray ( A Great and Terrible Beauty , Rebel Angels , and The Sweet Far Thing ) . This was a really cool trilogy to start me on Libba Bray books . Gemma was a great teen protagonist and this trilogy was dark and captivating and beautiful . I love historical fiction , so that excited me too . And the ending was really great for Anne , Gemma , and Felicity . Cinder by Marissa Meyer . The first in the Lunar Chronicles , I read this in December , so again , I 'll get to review it more later . But it was a great read , I love fairy tale retellings . I also went straight to Books A Million and picked up Scarlet ( on sale too ! ! ! ) after finishing this book . And I 'll be pre - ordering Cress and Winter too . It 's gonna be great . So classes are done until January . And I can finally read again ! And I even passed my exams so everything is good . So let 's get straight to the wrap up ! So the first book I read in November was Broken by Kelley Armstrong . We went back to Elena the awesome werewolf 's point of view . Really , I love Elena . In this one she was pregnant , which had its own entertainment factor watching her and Jeremy and Clay all kind of struggle with their worry and over - protectiveness . They had to steal a letter and accidentally opened a portal from the underworld , letting a few zombies loose in modern - day Toronto . And possibly even Jack the Ripper , who the letter was supposedly written by . This book follows them trying to close the portal and we see return characters like Jamie as well as new characters . I love these books . They 're always so interesting to read . I also read Champion by Marie Lu . Which was amazing and I couldn 't put it down . The final book in the Legend series , June and Day are working hard for the Republic and at first June still doesn 't know Day is dying . It was wonderful and frustrating and happy and sad all at the same time . And the ending … well , if you read it you know what I mean . And if you haven 't , I really don 't want to spoil it . I read Salvation in Death by J . D . Robb . This one was a whole new level of interesting , bringing religion into it in a different way . A Catholic priest gets poisoned while in the midst of a funeral mass , and then a big - name preacher gets poisoned while in the middle of one of his televised services . Eve has to go through whole new levels to find the killer and some of it is hard for her to deal with . I always like visiting the world J . D . Robb creates , so many books in this series and it never gets old . In preparation for the release of the Catching Fire movie ( which was awesome and they stuck to the book much better than the first movie . They also had a bigger budget , which helps too . ) , I read Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins . Really don 't need to review this book at all , it 's been read so much . If you haven 't read the series , just read it . This is a wonderful second book in a trilogy . And finally I read Eon by Alison Goodman . This book was addictive and I had trouble putting it down , even to study for finals . But I managed to . And would pick it up the second I could to read more . Then of course I got tricked by the book at the end thinking I still had a few chapters left , but it was the first chapter of the next book . Which luckily , I already bought . Because the ending … oh my that ending ! The world Alison Goodman built in the first book alone was a wonderful one . As it was a book about dragons and dragoneyes , she had to build a fantasy world , basing it with origins from Japanese and Chinese cultures . I can 't wait to read the next book , Eona . I 'm so glad I bought both of them at the same time ! Okay , so for the month of December , I 'm free from school and ten books away from reaching 100 books for the year of 2013 ! So the first book I 'll be reading is No Humans Involved by Kelley Armstrong . And this book is about Jamie , our lovely medium ! She 's no longer a side character ! Girlfriend gets her own book ! I hope she and Jeremy finally get together , because oh yes , I ship them ! I 'm also going to be reading The Throne of Fire and The Serpent 's Shadow by Rick Riordan . I was going to read The Throne of Fire in November , but finals happened . I 'm sorry Mr . Riordan ! I can 't wait to read the continuation of the Kane Chronicles . Sadie and Carter are awesome , along with all their friends ! And some enemies too . I already read The Son of Sobek , I couldn 't help myself . IT WAS CARTER KANE AND PERCY JACKSON ! What would you expect me to do ? ? Luckily it was pretty spoiler free on what happened in the last two books of the Kane Chronicles , so that 's cool . Love Riordan books . I 'm going to be reading Grave Mercy by Robin LaFevers . The first book in the His Fair Assassin trilogy , I 've had this one sitting on my unread shelf for a while after watching some reviews of it on YouTube . It sounds really good , and now I need to get around to reading it . I 'll be reading Cinder by Marissa Meyer . Again , I 've had this book on my shelf for a while , and this whole Lunar Chronicles series looks really amazing . I 'm a sucker for fairy tales and retellings of fairy tales , so I can 't wait to catch up on this series ! Thanks to Amazon 's Black Friday offer of 10 % off any one book , I got Never Fade , the second book in The Darkest Minds series by Alexandra Bracken . I absolutely cannot wait to read this one , after the painful ending of The Darkest Minds . PLEASE LET RUBY FIND LIAM ! ! ! AND LET CHUBS BE OKAY ! I really love these books , and need to get a hard copy of The Darkest Minds so I can start getting other people to read it . I 'll be reading Promises in Death by J . D . Robb , book number 28 of 38 , I think it is now . One of these days I really will catch up on this whole series . But then I won 't know what to do with myself while I wait for the new one , so I 'm not in too big of a hurry to do that . I love my visits with Eve and Roarke . And I just read the description for this one and I think I 'll be crying a little bit . Crap . I 'll be reading Eona by Alison Goodman . Really , after all that happened in the first one , there 's no way I can make myself wait too long to read this book too . I want to finish it before I start classes again so I don 't have to separate myself from it to study like with Eon . And finally , I 'll be continuing A Breath of Snow and Ashes by Diana Gabaldon . I have a three - week vacation coming up , maybe I 'll be able to finish this one . Could happen . So that 's my ambition from the month of December ! We 'll see how it all goes . Sorry I 've been so infrequent about this , but school really took up all my world . I basically read when I was on the bus to and from school , and no other time . Glad I have some time now , and hey , maybe I 'll even get the next wrap up and TBR post up on time ! I may do a year wrap up , just to do a quick recap , if anyone 's interested . Not totally sure I will or not . Maybe a favorite books of 2013 thing . Not sure . If anyone has a request , let me know in the comments ! Finally ! I know ! School just kind of slammed me and I had no time to do anything . I mean , I read one book in the month of September ! One ! So , let 's get to the Wrap Up , and the next post will be the November TBR . So , in the month of September I read The 5th Wave by Rick Yancy . This book , oh my gods , this book ! ! ! I loved it so much , and I cannot wait for The Infinite Sea ! I loved the characters in it ; Cassie Sammy , Ben Parrish , Evan , Vorsch , BEAR ! Who didn 't love the dynamic due of Cassie and Bear ? " Shut up , Bear . Don 't look at me like that , Bear . " They were great . There were some awesome pairings in this , besides Cassie and Bear . There was also Zombie and Nugget , who were just great to watch . Zombie was the only person who really took care of little Nugget . And man , all the twists ! Tracker chips to screw with the soldiers minds , the virus , Wonderland ( that program that the aliens " left " here … yeah . ) , silencers like the one who shot Cassie . And I really loved the way Yancy wrote dialogue . Like when Evan tells Cassie that she can 't leave the house for three to four more weeks : " Three more weeks ? Who does this teenage version of the Brawny Paper Towel Man think he 's kidding ? ! " Cassie waking up after being shot by the silencer thinking that Evan 's house can 't be heaven . And when her and Evan were heading for the military base where She knew Sammy had been taken and they got attacked , Cassie found her pet log , Howard . Howard was a brief character , but he was a wonderful one . I loved when she broke into the base and shoved a tracker chip up Dr . Pam 's nose . Cassie 's kinda awesome , guys . And Ben / Zombie , oh , he was great too . I was glad when he realized what was going on , it was just such an awesome part to watch unfold . And as I said , I loved watching Zombie take care of our little Sammy / Nugget . And how Sammy just kept believing that Cassie was going to come for him , even when people told him he 'd be wrong . And the Cassie - Ben " reunion " when she saw him at the base and she tried to tell him that they knew each other , " I sat behind you in honors chemistry " . And at the end of the book , with Evan coming DOWN THE VENTS and saving things and giving them the chance to get away . Please let Evan be In October I read a few more books . The first book I read was The Red Pyramid by Rick Riordan . I actually started reading this book in September when I finished The 5th Wave , I just was so busy that I didn 't finish it until October . This is Book 1 in the Kane Chronicles . This is a series that may not be completely on the same level as our beloved PJO and Heroes of Olympus Series , however , it 's definitely a great story for the first book of a series . Carter and Sadie Kane are the children of Egyptian magicians , are magicians themselves ( although they don 't know this in the beginning ) , and may even be descended from the pharaohs of Egypt . At the begining of the book , they see their father get taken to the underworld , and start out on a quest to save him , as well as to stop the ancient god Set , who their father released before he disappeared . They travel all over the place using the Duat , and are protected by such awesome characters as the cat goddess Bast , who has been protecting Sadie for years as her cat , Muffin . Bast is kind of an awesome character . While I felt that the book moved a little slower than other Riordan books , I still loved it , and thought it was a great book , and can 't wait to get the other ones in this trilogy . I also read Strangers of Death by J . D . Robb . I absolutely love the books in the In Death series . This one starts out with a man murdered and his wife coming home from vacation . Eve just doesn 't like the widow , believing that she 's reacted too coldly throughout everything that has happened to her . And you know our girl Eve ; when there 's something that strikes Eve as suspicious , she keeps digging into it until her suspicions are proven right or wrong . Things in this book connect with other things that we don 't even see happen , and the simplest things are connected , whether or not you see it coming . It was a great installment in the series . And of course , seeing Eve , Roarke , Peabody , McNabb , Charles and Louise , and the lovely Troy Trueheart , along with all the other cast of series regulars just makes this book better . The book I was most excited to read in October , and that it felt like waiting was agony was The House of Hades by Rick Riordan . First , let 's start with Riordan 's lovely dedication of the book to his fans . Oh Riordan , you awesome , wonderful , little troll . Laughing at our pain . But still , we love you . And OHMYGOD THIS BOOK YOU GUYS THIS BOOK ! ! ! So after the end of Mark of Athena , where we leave Percy and Annabeth falling , hanging off a cliff , into Tartarus , this book starts off basically right where Athena left off . As we all know , Riordan gave new meaning to the term " cliff - hanger " . The first chapter is from the perspective of Hazel , and we get other perspectives , Leo , Piper , Jason , Frank , Percy , and Annabeth . And when we meet up with Percy and Annabeth , they 're falling into Tartarus , and things just don 't get better for them once they land . We 'll get back to them in a bit , as I have way more to say about those two than I do about most of the other things , so let 's start with the other characters . Everyone in this book seemed to grow up a lot during the book . Seeing Percy and Annabeth fall into Tartarus took a lot out of the team , plus without two of their best leaders , everyone else has a lot more to do . Piper seemed to grow , and Frank and Leo definitely had some big changes come to them in this book . Jason … Jason , just go sit in a corner , okay ? Within the first minutes of a fight , Jason heads straight into a trap . To quote Christine of polandbananasBOOKS : # JasonFail . Luckily , Leo is pretty good at this fight and handles by himself just fine , and is able to tell Jason he just wasted a Peter Pan - like entrance because everything was already wrapped up . Let 's just talk about Jason for a minute . By the end of the book he did seem to be doing a little better , but all throughout that book he was kinda dumb . All he had to do was take the southern wind horses that he needed when the ship was disabled , but instead , he went to chat with Auster . Big fight happening on the ship ? Oh Jason 's just gonna fall into a dream sleep . Yes , you were a little good in the fight with Hazel , working with her well , but only after she figured out what to do . The Legion ghosts didn 't even listen to you in the fight at the House of Hades . But okay , by the final battle after Percy and Annabeth have come through the Doors of Death , you did have a good line , and you did do well there . Maybe you 'll be better by the next book . And Leo ! Leo was a character who had definite growth in this book , and I loved seeing every second of it . Watching him handle that fight when Jason was in the trap was awesome . I was shouting " OH HELL NO ! YOU DID NOT JUST TAKE LEO ' S BELT ! " But he got it back , and got the guys on his side ( loved seeing them mess things up at the Legion 's army outside of Camp Half Blood ) . And when the ship was attacked and Leo was flying through the air , I just knew he was about to end up at Calypso 's Island . Which was a hilarious moment when that was confirmed . " You wrecked my table ! " Leo may have just crash landed on the beach , but we have to be way more concerned about the table . And when he was working to fix everything , seeing him fix stuff for her , even though they didn 't get along , was great . As was him getting her to make that fireproof pouch for Frank 's piece of wood . That was really a cool moment . And of course Calypso started to like him , and boom , there 's the raft to take him away . I really hope that we get to see him go back to the island and rescue her from it , because I just think the two of them together would be sweet . And him after the island , he definitely was not like he had been . While he was still goofy and awesome and lovable as Leo always is , there was a sadder , kind of deeper ( I guess ) side to him . Piper , well , Piper did grow a little more during this book . Still , shooting fruit out of that horn isn 't gonna work forever , my girl . Now that Annabeth is back , maybe you could get her to teach you a few more things about fighting so you don 't have to depend on hitting someone with a watermelon ? Her best moments were definitely when she was convincing monsters to fight each other , telling them it 'd be fun , and when Frank had her fighting the empousa 's in the battle by charmspeaking them and telling them gossipy things : " Your makeup is smeared ! Your friend called you ugly ! That one is making a face behind your back ! " Yeah , that was an awesome part . And she also did pretty damn good when Khione attacked the ship , charmspeaking to Festus to make him turn on . She wasn 't half bad in this book . And then there was Hazel . Hazel had serious awesome moments in this book . Learning to control her magic , and with it , control the Mist . That was awesome . And when she screamed and pulled all the jewels from the walls in the cave , that was brilliant too . I liked that the book started with a Hazel chapter , and I really liked all the Hazel chapters that came after . I 've always thought she was an interesting character , and I like learning anything about her that I possibly can . Her first time manipulating the Mist against Sciron was really great . Also , the farting polecat . Only Riordan could come up with this kind of stuff , guys . Frank was another character with some great growth in this book . When he helped Triptolemus find another python for his chariot , he really did well . It was also cool to see Ares / Mars in that scene , to see how much the personality problem the gods are facing right now is really affecting them . Although , really Troptolemus , is it that hard for you to find your own damn python ? AND HOW DARE YOU TURN NICO DI ANGELO INTO CORN ? ! Luckily , Frank came through and saved his friends . And then when he became the commander of the Legion , that was just so awesome to watch . And when things were smoothed out between him , Hazel , and Leo , it only got better . Yes , I love Frank and Hazel . And when the rubble fell between Frank and Hazel , I started to get teary and scared that I was going to lose one of them . I 'd really like to see a Nico POV in the next book . He interests me . Although , did anyone else not see the " Nico loves / loved Percy " thing coming ? I just feel like I never saw any hints for it before . I 'm okay with that being a storyline , it 's cool . I just feel somewhat like it was just thrown in there . I guess I need to go back and reread the PJO books . Darn . Or maybe he just hid his feelings really well . But as always , Nico may be the most awesome side character ever , which is why he needs his own POV , even if it 's just one chapter . Although , it 's pretty fun to watch him just skulk in the back and scare other characters . And do things like call forth the ghosts to have them fight . Nico 's pretty awesome , guys . WE GOT TO SEE GROVER ! And also Rachel Elizabeth Dare . As they went to meet with Octavian and Reyna . I like Reyna . I loved when it was revealed that she and her sister were on Circe 's island when Percy destroyed it , and that just made her character even more interesting . I 'm also glad that she 's still fighting Octavian on that whole destroying the Greeks thing . At least the praetor sees sense ! Also having Grover turn the spears of the Roman guards into Christmas trees using his pipes was cool . I really like seeing Grover , and there hasn 't been nearly as much of him in this series . Understandably so , but still . It makes me excited when he shows up . Also , Coach Hedge going to be Daddy Hedge , adorable . I 'm so on the lookout for fanfics about that , someone please make it happen . Can you just imagine how awesome ? It made me sad to see Reyna lose Scipio . But way to make it to where Reyna needed to get , Scipio . May you rest in piece . Hopefully Nico , Reyna , Coach Hedge , and the statue of Athena make it back to Camp Half Blood in time . Alright , now for the two characters who I have the most things to say about : Percy and Annabeth , our beloved Percabeth . It was just so hard reading their chapters , we see them in such a struggle that we 're not used to seeing these two in . They 're Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase . They handle everything just fine . But here , from the moment they landed in Tartarus , things weren 't easy . Drinking the fire water just to stay alive , watching them struggle when they were on their own , seeing Percy just so out of his element , even with the " water " there , oh it was hard . And EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER that was from one of their POVs was so stressful , I feel like I only half - read the chapters in between them , just rushing to get back to the two of them . It was the worst reunion ever , the two of them with all the monsters they had killed over the years , and that part with the curses on the two of them , just so hard to read . It was entertaining to watch Annabeth outwitting monsters there though . Getting Damasen to treat Percy by asking if Bob overstated his talents . And her and Percy getting Nyx upset by telling her that her house wasn 't in the brochure for best places to stop in Tartarus , and then asking for a picture with her and her favorite child . That was possibly one of the most entertaining moments in Tartarus , and in the entire book . Although I 'm afraid one of these days , that trick isn 't going to work and then the dynamic duo will be in trouble . Also , Bob . I loved Bob helping Percy and Annabeth throughout Tartarus , going from Iapetus , fighting Percy and falling into the River Lethe , to Bob , an awesome , lovable giant with his pet , Small Bob . I loved that part , " I shall call him Small Bob ! " Going to the Doors of Death , fighting TARTARUS ! TARTARUS TAKES A SHAPE AND PERCY FIGHTS HIM ! I was freaking out in that part . And all through the book , knowing that someone had to hold the Doors of Death so they could get out , I was so afraid that Percy was going to stay behind and hold the doors and be separated fromBut all in all , it was another great installment in the Heroes of Olympus series , and it took me a day to read . Which means a day of bliss followed by a year of agony , waiting for The Blood of Olympus . Although , this book ended about ten times less stressful than The Mark of Athena did , so at least the waiting isn 't as agonizing . I wonder who 's going to die in the final book . Can it just be that douche Octavian ? Because I really wouldn 't mourn that death at all , to be honest . And I 'd mourn any other death that happened . Yes , even Jason . Another book I was eagerly awaiting the arrival of on my doorstep to be read was Allegiant by Veronica Roth . It was released on October 22 . On October 23 , I had a test in Anatomy and Physiology on the muscular system , SO I HAD TO WAIT A WHOLE EXTRA DAY TO READ IT AFTER GETTING IT ! I can 't even describe how sucky it was to look at it sitting there all shiny and new , and not be able to dive in . So the second I left class on Wednesday I was pulling it out of my school bag and reading it , while walking to the bus stop . So much happened in this book ! It started fast , with Tris lying under truth serum , and it just never let go until the final scene . Okay , it kind of let go when Four was narrating the last few chapters . I 'll be honest , the Four POV chapters didn 't excite me all that much . I liked the Tris ones best . And oh , that ending ! I hoped it wouldn 't happen the way it did . I 'd have been okay if it was Caleb , but no . Tris had to do what she always did , only this time it didn 't end well . I honestly cried , although more when Christina reacted to the news than when Four did . Her grief felt more painful for me . I really loved learning so much about the world , the genetically pures and unpures , what happened in the other cities in America . It was really cool . Although I feel like when dystopian books have to wrap everything up in three books , things can feel a little rushed in the last book . I almost wish there was one more book to see how everything works out , government systems after the corruption that was in place for three books is changed , daily life , everything . But I loved this book , and when I finished it , I moved the whole series to my " favorite completed series " bookshelf . I read a Veronica Roth short story , The Transfer , which was pretty interesting . This takes place when Four is still Tobias in Abnegation , on the days before and day of his Choosing Ceremony . Tori also gives him his aptitude test , with him getting Abnegation results because it 's what his father , Marcus wanted . We see Tobias at home with his father , and see just how terrible Marcus really was to Tobias . I was so glad to see Tobias choose Dauntless . I obviously knew he would choose that , but reading up to that point , and Tobias not really thinking that way until the moment he got to the ceremony was just so interesting to see . And then seeing him in his fear landscape , with his four fears , was so good . Seeing Amir name him Four , seeing the beginnings of his firendship with Amir , it was all great . While I may not have loved his voice in Allegiant , in The Transfer , it was great . I read Haunted by Kelley Armstrong as well . This is another of the Women of the Underworld series , and it focused on Eve , the mother of Savannah . Savannah was the ward of Paige Winterbourne in the last two books in the series ( Dime Store Magic and Industrial Magic ) . In those books we heard a little bit about Eve , but in this one we get to see Eve herself . Another awesome woman named Eve . In Industrial Magic , Eve promised the Fates a favor if they let Paige and Lucas return to the world of the living . In Haunted , the Fates call on that favor , wanting Eve to hunt down one of the worst escapees from the ghost world , the Nix . The Nix inhabits bodies of people such as Lizzie Borden , and gets them to kill others , then leaves them behind to face the consequences on their own . Teaming up with an angel , Eve hunts her down , but is almost always a little behind . She goes into some awesome places in the ghost world , as well as some terrible places . I really liked this one in the WOTU series , it was incredibly interesting , and Eve is an awesome main character . While the ending wasn 't a perfect one , I liked it , it didn 't frustrate me . Eve is right up there with Elena as an awesome main in this series . In anticipation of the November release of Champion , I read Prodigy by Marie Lu . I really loved the first book in this series , Legend , and Champion was not a disappointing second book , as some middle books in trilogies can be . June and Day are wonderful in this book , even if a little frustrating at times . I was also relieved to see that Tess was okay , after not completely knowing in Legend . Razor was a character that I just didn 't like from the moment we met him . He just didn 't seem trustworthy . At least June seemed to pick up on that eventually . Kaede , I 'll miss you . You were one awesome chick , and also one hell of a pilot . I was glad when she came over into the Colonies and got June and Day out . Also , seeing the Colonies of America ? Kinda awesome . At first , they seemed all wonderful and glittering prosperity , but they turned out to be at least as bad as the Republic to some of their citizens , if not worse . Anden , I want to trust you . I think that you really mean well , and want to be a good Elector Primo . Thank you for releasing Eden and giving him the care that he needed . Although I was kind of skeptical to the idea that Anden had released Eden . I was afraid it would be too good to be true . But no Anden , you may not have June . June belongs with Day . I got all girly and happy when Day gave June that little paperclip ring . It was so cute . Throughout the book June and Day had great moments . Day all worried and trying to care for June when she was sick . Man , worrying about June having the plague was not cool . From the moment she started to not feel well , I had an uneasy feeling . And finally , the ending . OH MY HOLY SHIT THAT ENDING ! WHAT EVEN ? ! First with Day climbing up the building in Denver and announcing his support for Anden , I got chills at that part . But then I realized there were still too many pages left in the book . Finding out Day had a bad growth on his hippocampus was terrible . And seeing him trying to " save " June by letting her go and telling her to accept Anden 's offer of becoming a princeI read The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken . Holy shit . This book . This book was amazing . I really could not stop reading it . Which was kind of a problem , since it was on my kindle and sometimes the battery would run really low . I 'd be running looking for my charger and a place to plug it in . ( Yes , I know that this wouldn 't happen with " real " books , but the kindle store was selling this book for either free or $ . 99 at one point , and I wanted to read it . ) We follow Ruby through life after a plague takes out the majority of children under 13 , when Ruby is about 10 . And the kids that are left have mind powers of one type or another . Ruby gets taken to Camp Thurmond , which is claimed by the government to be a rehabilitation camp for the kids . They 're all classified as different colors , with reds , oranges , and yellows being the most dangerous . Ruby gets classified as a green and lives at the camp for about six years , working and living an awful life . It was unsettling reading that part just because it was so terrible and the thought of it happening upset me a little . She becomes so beaten down and hopeless at the camp . And then one of the doctors at the camp from The Children 's League breaks her out , telling her that her secret , that she 's not a green , is about to be discovered . She then escapes from the people who helped her escape , and goes on a kinda awesome road trip through the Shenandoah Valley with Liam , Chubs , and Zu . Liam , Chubs , and Zu are looking for East River and The Slip Kid , a place for the escaped children to live and the Slip Kid , an Orange who has escaped custody many times , and started East River . I loved that they traveled through the Shenandoah Valley , as it 's near my home and I go there a bit every year . The Slip Kid was one of the many people in this book who I wanted to believe was good , but just couldn 't do it . Yes he sort of helped Ruby with her powers . But I didn 't like him . I was sad to see Zu leave the group , as I love her and she 's adorable . But hopefully she 'll Finally , I read Ruby Red by Kerstin Gier . This book was interesting . Gwen comes from a family of time travelers , and her family thinks the gene for it has passed her by and gone to her cousin Charlotte instead . However , she ends up being the one who can travel through time , and is the final person in the circle of twelve , the Ruby . She starts traveling with Gideon , and she tries to unearth the mystery of why her mother hid her real birth date , her ability ( she can see ghosts ) , and basically take a crash course in everything time travelers need to know , history , manners , and all . I loved that her best friend Leslie is such an important part of the plot , which is something that some books don 't really cover . She helps Gwen when she starts traveling through time , looking things up for her . She also convinces Gwen that she has to tell her mother that she has the gene , as Gwen is afraid to tell anyone else . I also loved the costumes that Gwen gets to wear , the wardrobe mistress ( sorry , forgot her name ) was awesome . The end scene when Gwen and Gideon visit Gwen 's great grandmother and Lucy and Paul are in the scene . That was awesome . And all the reveals between the prologue and that one scene were amazing . Are we going to have vampires in this , with all the talking about Transylvania ? The count in there was really kind of creepy , what with all his mind abilities . He 's just not someone I like so far . AND WHO WAS TRYING TO KILL GWEN AND GIDEON ? ! In that sword fight scene ? WHO ? ! I think I 'll definitely have to read Sapphire Blue and Emerald Green . So that 's what I read in September and October . Next I 'll put up my November TBR , which I 'm already about halfway through . So year . Back soon ! Ahhhh , summer , you beautiful season . When I take my book outside and read . No , I really did that last week . I was at a camp - meeting ( don 't worry if you don 't know what that is . If you do know , you get 2 cool points ! ) and I didn 't feel like sitting in my little cinder block cabin on the first day of summer , so I found a spot with perfect shade , perfect breeze , and perfect sun and read Goblet of Fire for hours ( oh yeah , read a Harry Potter book at a church thing ! I know , total badass . ) . And did it again the next day . Love summer . So , in the month of June I read 15 books ( one being a short story ) . I had vacation time and I got books on my kindle and would take it to the gym and read on the elliptical , oh yeah ! What a way to make 45 minutes of slogging through molasses more fun . The first book I read was Harry Potter and the Sorcerer 's Stone by J . K . Rowling . And really , if you need me to tell you what happened in this book , I 'll probably ask you what rock you 've been living under . I will say that I was as hooked reading it this time as I was the first time I read it . These books are just that awesome . After I finished that , I read The Lost Hero by Rick Riordan . Yes ! A new Riordan series . And I nearly threw the book across the room when Annabeth said Percy was missing . I mean really , how can you do that to the fandom ? ! Even though I knew it was coming , because when my sister read it she actually screamed from her bedroom at that moment . And then told me why she screamed . But still . It was a great book and I can 't wait for the rest of the series . AND I NEED A F * * KING PERCABETH REUNION ! Like , yesterday . I then read Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J . K . Rowling . The second Harry Potter book . But really , do you need me to tell you anything about it . I always enjoy these books , I just wish Peeves had been in the movies . Because nothing is as cool as the poltergeist singing " Oh Potter , you rotter ! " after muggle - born 's start getting petrified . After that I read Insurgent by Veronica Roth . And OH MY GOD THE ENDING ! THAT ENDING ! The ending was what made the book for me . Throughout it I honestly wanted to slap Four and Tris . Four ( yes , I still call him Four . It takes less time to type than Tobias . And is cooler . ) because it just didn 't seem like he realized that Tris had just been through a lot , seeing her parents die and all . Of course she was a little not like herself . And Tris because , I get it , you 're all PTSDed after the ending of Divergent , but girl you are in the MIDDLE OF A REVOLUTION AND ONE OF THE BIGGEST FACES OF IT ! PICK UP A DAMN GUN AND DEFEND YOURSELF WHEN YOU NEED TO ! ! ! I mean , really . However , I have Allegiant pre - ordered and I can 't wait to get it October 22 and lock myself in my room and read it in one day / night to find out what happens . I need October 22 to be here tomorrow . OR AN ARC COPY ! I 'll review it and everything … After this I read Born in Death by J . D . Robb . I basically blew through this one in one day at my company 's annual picnic . Book , chair , shade , and cookies . It was a good way to spend a Wednesday . I hated the bad guys from this one . They were so horrible . But oh I loved the book . Mavis had her little girl ! And that whole scene was so sweet . Tandy and her boyfriend reuniting all sweet - like . Mavis and Leonardo getting married in the delivery room . Summerset giving Mavis his late wife 's ring for the wedding until they could get a ring of their own . I may have teared up a little at that part . And Roarke and Eve coping with being Mavis 's birthing coaches was hilarious . The would not have done it for probably anyone else , but they love Mavis , so they would do it for her . And the baby shower scene was awesome , both hilarious and sweet . Eve loves no one like she loves Mavis . I know I said that already . Shut up . Born in Death is definitely going up as one of my favorite In Death books . I also read Harry Potter an the Prisoner of Azkaban by J . K . Rowling . Book three of the series . Another awesome one . Really , these books are too great to even recap , we all know them , right ? But man , Harry is kind of dumb . He almost always guesses wrong . Is it any wonder people had trouble believing the Dark Lord was back at first when he started saying that to people . Good thing he had Hermione to help him all the time . I finished Seraphina by Rachel Hartman this month . I couldn 't finish it before my ebook loan time period ran out , but I found the copy of the original cover that I wanted to get in Barnes and Noble , so I was able to finish it later from that . The last 25 % of this book was the best bit . It honestly was kind of slow up till then , but she had an elaborate world to build , so I kind of understand . But then things started happening , and it was good . I can 't wait to read book 2 when it comes out ( I think it 's title right now is Shadowscale ) . I 'll be pre - ordering it when I can so I can get it the day it 's released . Love pre - order ! I read Soulless by Gail Carriger as well . My first steampunk novel , and it was great ! No really , it was AWESOME ! I could hardly put it down , even when my Kindle battery was dying . It 's a paranormal romance , and Alexia , the protagonist , is quite awesome . Not perfect but really cool . Can 't wait to read the rest of this series . I read the final Harry Potter book for the month of June in the A Very Potter Summer Challenge , Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire , by J . K . Rowling . This is one of my favorite books in the series , there 's so much more to it than the movie shows . S . P . E . W . , Veelas , a way longer Quidditch World Cup scene ! If ever the saying " Don 't judge a book by it 's movie " was true , it 's this book . It 's also the first Harry Potter book that made me cry . I started a new series , the Women of the Otherworld , with the first book being Bitten , by Kelley Armstrong . This book was both recommended and loaned to me by my friend Meera ( we did a book swap , I loaned her Code Name : Nanny and Code Name : Baby , she loaned me Bitten ) . And it was absolutely wonderful . Completely engrossing , and I loved that it was a book focusing on supernaturals , and werewolves were the main characters . Usually weres are secondary characters , so whenever it 's different , it 's awesome . I read it all the way from the trip down to New Market , VA from DC . And I can 't wait to read the rest of them . Thanks for introducing me to an awesome new series , Meera ! ! I read Pandemonium by Lauren Oliver this month too . I had it on my Kindle , and took it with me to the gym and read it while I was on the elliptical . It was perfect to read there , I loved it so much and it engrossed me so much that the 45 minutes would pass in no time . and the ending … I was shouting at Lena the whole book that Alex wasn 't dead . Wasn 't sure how , but I knew he couldn 't be dead . Just no . And the ending made me do a squid of rage ( me waving my arms around like I was an enraged squid ) , because YOU CAN ' T JUST CUT IT OFF THERE LAUREN ! THAT ' S JUST NOT COOL ! ! ! So obviously I ran out to Books - A - Million and bought Requiem , and can 't wait to read it . Yup , bought it at a bookstore . Support bookstores , people ! They 're great places to hang out and what would this world be without them . I read the short story Free Four by Veronica Roth . I liked it , but I wish it hadn 't been just Four 's Point of View from a scene we already saw . It would have been really cool if we could have had a new short scene that wasn 't in the books . But still , it was cool to read his point of view . I read Rebel Angels , the second book in the Gemma Doyle trilogy , by Libba Bray . It was so creepy and so interesting . I absolutely loved reading it . Although I was slightly heartbroken to find out who they made Circe to be in the book . Sat there screaming NO NOT HER ! ! ! ( Not gonna say who , in case someone is reading it for the first time ) . But it was great , and I can 't wait to read The Sweet Far Thing as soon as I can . I 've also been reading weekly installments of The Boss by Abigail Barnette on her blog site ( in case you don 't know , Abigail Barnette is Jenny Trout 's penname , she 's also been writing recaps of the horrid 50 Shades of Grey books and has all my respect for struggling through those even though they upset her . She 's making it so I don 't have to read them and still know what ridiculous stuff happens in those books . Go to her site , it 's awesome , and she 's awesome ) . This book . Oh guys … this book is amazing . . It 's basically what 50SOG wants to be , but a million times better . I 'll link it when I get home from work . GO READ IT ! IT ' S FREE ! ! ! The final book I read in June was Legend by Marie Lu . I started and finished this book on the same day , it was so awesome . I already need to get Prodigy so I can read it and then pre - order Champion so I can read it the day it comes out . I loved the relationship building between June and Day , and loved the world they were in in the " please don 't let me ever live in a world like that " way . The relationship between the two didn 't seem as InstaLove as some relationships can be . There was attraction , but it built . Especially when Day found out who June really was . I did guess who really killed Metias before they started dropping hints about it , but hey , I felt all Sherlock - like from that . ( At least , who we 're supposed to think killed Metias by the end of this book . You never know ) . The first book I 'll be reading is The Son of Neptune by Rick Riordan . I can 't wait to see what happens in this one . Is it going to focus solely on Percy ( educated guess , with Neptune being the Roman name for Poseidon , Percy 's father ) , or are we going to get the Percabeth reunion I want . PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GIVE ME THE PERCABETH REUNION ! ( Even though I kind of know what 's going to happen thanks to my sister and her fangirl ranting . Which we all do , so I 'm not mocking her . ) I 'll also be reading Innocent in Death by J . D . Robb , book 24 in the series . As always , I can 't wait to see what lies in store for Eve and Roarke in this one . And now I can 't wait to see how Mavis and Leonardo are adjusting to both married life and their new baby girl . And Trueheart . I always like seeing Trueheart . Also , will Avril Icove make a reappearance any time soon ? I 'm aiming to read all of the His Dark Materials series by Phillip Pullman , since I found an omnibus of the series in my local thrift store for $ . 40 ! Can 't beat that ! I 've wanted to read this series for quite a while , especially after I heard the books are way better than the movie was . So we 'll see if I can do it . In the A Very Potter Summer , I 'll be reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix between July 7 and July 21 and Harry Potter and the Half - Blood Prince between July 22 and July 31 ( both by J . K . Rowling ) . I love both of these books . Although I 'm not a fan of the deaths that occur in them . Yay painful moments ! I 'm also still reading A Breath of Snow and Ashes by Diana Gabaldon . Hey , this book is nearly 1000 pages long , of course I haven 't finished it yet . I can do 500 pages in a matter of days , but these book are just a little more heavy reading , she 's very detailed about everything that happens in the lives of Jamie , Claire , and the others of this series . And I love her for it . They 're getting ever closer to the Revolutionary War , and as Claire says , it may still be two years away , revolution can have a long fuse and a short match . Or something like that … but the stress is REAL ! So that 's what I plan to read this month . Who knows what else I 'll pick up , or get from the library , I 'm on the waiting list for a few books . I love the elibrary . I don 't have to worry about the fines for late fees that I 'd always get when I borrowed books when I was younger . Seriously , I 'm still afraid to set foot in the library where I lived when I was younger , for fear that they 'll slap me with a big fine for some books … Also , I didn 't get to read The Fellowship of the Ring , because I didn 't manage to get a copy of it before June ended . Sadly . Now I 'm off - schedule to finish before school starts up again .
|
Our room had a good view of the pool and lake . There was a huge spider in the room because the sliding glass door would not shut all the way . The carpet had cut out pieces that were replaced poorly . Also there was not a vent in the bathroom . Taking a shower felt like you were in a steam room . The hotel was changing from another hotel chain . Fresh carpet and paint would really make the place feel more modern . Location The room was dirty , old . Did NOT feel safe , People were just hanging around in the parking lot late at night . No connection on the TV . Reviewed Jul 2016 8 . 2 The rooms were updated and clean . The staff was very helpful and very nice . It has a beautiful view of the lake . The pool was nice and was clean . The rest of the hotel is outdated and old looking . However it is under construction , it seems that they are making upgrades . Reviewed Jun 2017 4 . 8 Staff & breakfast The room was dirty . Toilet seat had urine , stains , hair & ants on it & the floor . I told the desk clerk & he said he would let housekeeping know . It was over priced . We had kids and they didn 't tell us beforehand the pool would be closed so the kids were totally upset . The phone didn 't work and they say breakfast is included but only a few things are included and they were awful . Reviewed Apr 2016 6 . 8 Room was clean , need was very comfortable . Walls were paper thin , could hear people talking in adjacent rooms over my tv . Also , the whole floor smelled like smoke one night . Lastly , they are renovating the hotel right now , and that was not reflected in the booking process . I was pleasantly shocked to find that the hotel was so nice . The room listed ' lake view ' and that was an understatement if any . The room was directly on the lake on the third floor and I was treated to some wonderful sunsets and beautiful nature . The lake was fenced off from the hotel because there were alligators swimming around in there , but from my room on the third floor that was just more exciting to see than frightening . There was a wonderful hot breakfast buffet available for $ 3 . 65 which at that price was unbeatable . I was so happy finding this deal on Kayak . Reviewed Apr 2016 2 . 8 We needed a place to stay because we were visiting my father in Shands Hospital so we only needed a place to sleep . We needed to take a nap in the afternoon before heading back to the hospital so we went to our building ( building 2 ) and the entire building was under construction so it was very dirty and there were also quite a few shady characters around at the time . We went to our room and the room itself seemed ok until we tried to use the bathroom only to discover the room above was leaking into our bathroom so we tried to call the front desk and discovered our phone wasn 't working . I walked up to the front desk and they placed us in another room in the same building . The bathroom was ok in this one but the phone didn 't work in this room either . We then went to the hospital and returned at midnight for sleep . When we returned we could hear hammering and drills above our room ( yes , they were actually doing construction after midnight ! ) . I went to the front desk to talk to these people again and the guy said he would go and check on it right away . I returned to my room and took a shower figuring it would be over by the time I was done . I got out and sure enough nothing had changed . The guy I previously talked to was gone and the guy that was there was checking another customer into building 3 ( where there was no construction ) . After some yelling we were switched to building 3 . Why would they put customers in a building under active construction ? Hotel was clean and quiet . Lack of breakfast is a definite downside . Coffee was not always available ( ran out ) . A brown bag breakfast , fruit , yogurt , . . . would be adequate . The upgrade of the new Plus motels is quite nice , compabable to other better motels . The complete lack of any food for breakfast is a serious downside , especially when travelling with family . Altough the motel itself is very nice , those comparable motels with food would trump it . 1st room the heat didn 't work , shower still had soap bubbles on walls , and hair in it . Beds had hair under covers . Changed rooms ; heat worked , but this room too had hair on shower walls . Beds were worn out and lumpy , as we 're the pillows . Will never use a red roof again Pet friendly , comfortable beds and good location . The first room we were put in smelled strongly of chemicals , so we switched . The second was musty and damp . Reviewed Nov 2015 more reviews The facility is really old and not clean . Furniture shows wear and tear on them The house keeping service is not very good . They don 't clean well and they leave some I cleaned items like used glasses without exchanging them . They also do late house keeping service and they don 't have an on call housekeeper if you need some cleaning at night which all four stars hotels do Location is good . You need to be a member to get free wifi . Yeah in 2016 this hotel does not give free wifi . Staff rushed our check in experience to get back to texting . The level of service at this location does not meet the standards that Hilton has set . Not worth the money . Buyer beware . Reviewed Aug 2016 7 . 7 Comfortable , convenient , friendly There are many plugs available but no USB availability . They say they are upgrading and some rooms may be updated but ours wasn 't . Reviewed Mar 2017 8 . 8 The rooms are great . The hotel is as close to campus as possible . The hotel itself is very nice , as evidenced by the people who got married there . The staff is wonderful . I did not like that my room did not have a fridge . Friendly staff The room was dirty . The hotel desperately needs a refresh . My room felt more like a cheap roadside motel . It certainly was not worth what I paid for it . I do not feel like I got the best for my money . Reviewed Aug 2015 more reviews Very helpful staff . I had been waiting for a fax to arrive at the hotel number and in the mean time they let me use the business center even well after my checkout . This was very useful for me . They also carried the fax to the business center when it arrived . Had to park a little far at night when I was least willing to walk . I enjoyed the breakfast buffet because it also had a nice selection of fruit and a wonderful fruit medley . Of coarse it had the regular breakfast items . We really could not sleep well , because our room was attached to a adjoining room and that room kept there tv on all night loud . We ask for another room but there were no other non - smoking room available . I think they should work on sound proofing these rooms for people who would just like a good night sleep . Needless to say we were tired at our meeting next day . Reviewed Aug 2014 5 . 7 Convenient location , easy parking , good hot breakfast every morning , quiet room , friendly staff . Perfect for business trip - one less thing I had to worry about . Nothing really ; reason why I have stayed twice now when on business . Reviewed Jun 2016 7 . 7 Easy check in / out , cookies and coffee in lobby all the time , hot tub and pool , free wifi in room Woke up with multiple bites on my legs . Sheets were old and had holes and stains . Housekeeping service was variable . One day towels and sheets replaced , place felt clean . Other day bed was made but sheets not changed . Old and run down bathroom , paint chipping off walls , rust in sink and tub . Musty and damp smell in general . You can definitely tell this is a much older place attempting a rebranding . Needs an overhaul of the facilities , and an exterminator Room we stayed in was huge ! Our room had 2 double beds , and we had a pack & play for our baby . The room was so big that the pack & play didn 't get in the way at all . Our 1 - year - old & 3 - year - old still had plenty of room to play on the floor with their new Christmas toys while we still had room to walk around . The lobby area is great with the lodge theme , sitting areas and fireplace in the middle . We also liked the Christmas decorations : Christmas tree , reindeer and nativity scene ! Very good breakfast & good coffee ! Very good price as well . Rooms are a little dated ( but still very clean ) . No fridge or microwave in the room we stayed in ( not a huge issue , but could 've been helpful , and many other hotels include them nowadays ) . Reviewed Dec 2015 2 . 0 The French toast and waffles were delicious The view from our room looked out at a wall 3 feet away . When I tried to make coffee the coffee maker smelled like it had been cleaned with nail polish remover . When I opened a box of their soap and there was a pubic hair on the bar . This was obviously a used bar of soap . The rooms are large , bathrooms nicely updated , however , found quite a bit of " stuff " under the bed . Front desk staff is lovely , evening cocktail hour is a pleasant addition . Pool and hot tub are always a plus . On check in I requested and received a handicapped first floor room by the pool , makes it possible to spend some time with my daughters . We had to go over to Shands for cardiac testing for my 17 year old and it was great to be able to look forward to relaxing at the pool afterward . The general manager , Tim , had scheduled parking lot renovation for the weekend we were there . When we returned to the hotel the majority of the parking lot was blocked off and we were unable to park near the entrance closest to our room . As the entire parking lot appeared to be blocked off I stopped my car at the main entrance and went to the desk to ask where I was supposed to park . When I was told that I would have to park on the far back side of the hotel , this would require a walk of more than 300 feet , I explained that I have heart failure , I need a new heart , and that I 'm not able to do that . I asked why on check in I wasn 't informed that I wouldn 't be able to park close to an entrance by my handicapped room . At this point Tim came from the area behind the desk telling the desk clerk that he would handle this . he informed me that there were handicapped spots on all sides of the building , so surely I could find one to use . I attempted to explain that not all handicapped people are alike , so not all handicapped spots are alike , and what my physical limitations are , but Tim talked over me saying we can move your room . I explained again the purpose of asking to be by the pool was to be able to spend time with my daughters , and moving me to another wing made it impossible for me to spend time by the pool with them . I asked for a workable solution where I didn 't have to pack up all of our stuff , move our room , and not be able to spend time with my daughters . Time then said he would have someone " hold " a handicapped space ( again Excellent The room we stayed in was adequate but not great by any means . This property is very old but has great potential . The room that we stayed in faced the court yard and had very tranquil qualities when we opened up the sliding glass door . Property needs an upgrade really bad . Location off I - 75 is great and local dining places are very close . This is a 2 to 3 star hotel at best with above average hotel rates . Owners and management need to upgrade the rooms and stop using caulk to cure 30 year old problems . Faucets and fixtures are from the 70 's and should all be replaced . Has potential to be a great 4 star hotel . Would stop here again on business or leisure but not until the place has had a face lift . I have stayed at The Lodge many times over the last 25 years . The hotel is still relevant and in good shape . The staff is excellent . The office facility is very good . The popcorn and bar in the evening , with a fireplace , is a great place to relax after a long day . The office used to have two computers and now has one . I had to wait a few minutes to be able to get some work done . Not a big deal but maybe something that could be addressed . The pet friendly room was clean and comfortable . The staff was friendly . My room faced I 75 . The noise was awful . I got little sleep . Although the review states this is a " pet friendly " motel , they actually have a limited number of pet rooms . This should be noted in the hotel description and reservations made accordingly . The location was perfect for my needs : centrally located and near main thoroughfares . The room was comfortable and clean , though not spectacular ( decent size , though the decor was a bit dated ) . The breakfast was above average . The price was good . There was some traffic noise because it was next to the interstate , but rooms away from traffic were higher in price . I did not use the dresser because the drawers smelled like the previous user was a smoker and put all of his smelly clothes in there . Reviewed Feb 2016 8 . 6 There was never anyone the front desk . I had to wait a couple minutes and then obnoxiously yell " HELLO " for someone to come out of the back . They took my towels out of my room and found out they never replaced them AFTER I took a shower . It took them about 15 minutes for them to deliver clean towels . Location was right off the interstate , hotel was clean , room was nice . Pillows were uncomfortable , and breakfast could have been better , $ 100 . Incidentals charge held on credit card for too long . Reviewed Jul 2016 5 . 6 The hotel was close to family ; the staff was friendly . The bedding was not very comfortable . It wasn 't soft ; there was no extra blanket in the room . The following night I was at another hotel and the difference was noticeable . Staff and room were great . We have stayed in many hotels in Gainesville , this is one we keep going back to . Air conditioner blew on to the bed closest to it . Reviewed Aug 2015 Comfort Inn University I like the courteous staff especially the desk attendant at the desk in the evening , he exhibited great customer service and was very friendly . The bed was comfortable as well . The bathroom in side our room smelled like that a a gas station . It emitted an odor even after cleaned . Reviewed Aug 2014 3 . 7 Complimentary breakfast was poor in nature . No one tended when food was out . Food area was not clean and quite messy . Selection was poor at best . - fitness center was broken down . I was not informed of this when i checked in even though i inquired about the location of the fitness center . - Shower tub in room was dirty The lighting was terrible in the room but the bed and pillows were great . The room overlooked the parking lot and was a bit noisy . The breakfast was ok . It was a little pricy considering . Reviewed Sep 2015 10 . 0 Drove down from Chicago , almost made it to our destination in Tampa but decided to find a mid - range priced hotel to stay . Found Sleep Inn and could not have been more satisfied with the stay . Check in took about a minute and we were upstairs in our room . The parking lot was well lit as we had our locked bicycles on the back and the room was spacious and comfy . Bathroom was clean and shower had good water pressure . Free breakfast was also a huge plus . There was nothing not to like . We enjoyed our overnight stay and would look to stay again on our next drive to Florida . staffs willingness to accommidate late arrivals and assist with additional needs . it was difficult to find by address . GPS doesn 't register this hotel by name and street address takes you to an dark alley . Very comfortable rooms . Clean and staff was friendly . The breakfast had lots of items to choose from . We only stayed 1 night , but the kitchen was equipped nicely for a long stay . And the layout for the one bedroom was convenient traveling with a teen . Reviewed Jul 2016 10 . 0 Wonderful all suite hotel near I - 75 in Gainesville . Extremely good location from he school and next to a least a dozen restaurants and good shopping for college needs . Very clean , nice pool , gym , laundry and very large units including full kitchen with full refrigerators . Highly recommend , reasonable price , very clean and lovely staff . Reviewed May 2015 Sweetwater Branch Inn My husband and I recently attended a wedding and stayed at the Sweetwater Branch Inn . We stayed in the Camelot room , which was the most economical , and were absolutely delighted with our experience . The room was a decent size and had a private bathroom , but more importantly , it had a quality atmosphere . You can wonder throughout the old house , which oozes Southern hospitality and charm , with its victorian vibe . In the morning we awoke to a spectacular breakfast which we ate on the veranda . Such a nice stay ! And much better than any hotel in the vicinity ! ( We stayed at a local hotel during our previous trip to G - ville and had to switch rooms because of the rancid mold smell ) Decent location in Gainesville . Nice outdoors area . Big porch which we used to have pizza with our friends . Staff seemed aloof . The room was on the third floor . . . 38 steps up . The sunken tub required some gymnastics to enter . Our room had a separate bathroom across the hall . The breakfast was delicious . The room was clean and quiet . The bed was comfortable and the staff was supper nice . Reviewed Aug 2015 by Patricia 7 . 0 Breakfasts and evening wine & cheese features were great . Clean accommodations , very nice , friendly , helpful staff . Nice location , quiet , even on holiday ! lovely atmosphere and decor . Not or handicapped where we were . Stairs - No elevator , but had ramps . Beds are sometimes high to access and in corners which may be difficult to maneuver . Furniture nice but not comfy . Local Restaurant closed New Years , so you could walk or order out . The hotel lobby looked to be newly renovated and the breakfast in the morning was good . The location was good as there are alot of restaurants very close , Our bathroom was not clean upon arrival which set a bad tone for the rest of the stay , but the lady at the front desk did apologize and take a few bucks off the tab , which was good . The room looked cheap but for the money , it worked for a overnight stay . Everything was fine . This hotel is a good value . This hotel was totally fine for the money , but I believe it was rated as 3 - stars when I booked it on Kayak . It is NOT a three - star hotel . It is a budget hotel . Overall our stay was very pleasant , room was clean and presentable , Staff was excellent ! Don 't let the older style of the building deceive you , I would stay for business or pleasure in the future for sure ! Also , very close and convenient to restaurants . The only downside is the area closest to hotel is run down , but out of the control of the hotel I 'm sure . Staff was friendly and efficient . Terribly misleading photo - this is a motel where you park directly in front of your room . VERY loud , hard to sleep when people and cars are constantly going by right outside your room . I would have never booked had I realized place was a motel as I 'm a single woman traveling . Reviewed May 2016 10 . 0 I loved this hotel , the staff is so great , they go so far out of their way to make sure you are happy with you room and enjoying your stay with them . Hotel has been remodeled and looks great . The employees treated me like their long lost cousin from the guy that cleaned the lobby every day to the maid that cleaned my room to the security dude that was there everytime I left the building . I will be staying here everytime I go to Gainesville . Go Gators I have stayed here twice for school , but won 't stay again . The rooms smell ( My first the bed had a terrible odor ) . They renovated the rooms , but they are still dirty . The proximity to UF is great , but the neighborhood is suspect . I don 't feel good about leaving my car there overnight . Holiday Inn University Center takes you back in time to the $ * hotel chain in New York State . . . the rooms are glued together with five different size tiles in the bath room . Have you ever seen a 1 inch groutting around the sink and tubs . The air conditioning . . . wall mounted in the early 1950 . thank God I didn 't subject my family to a regular room . . . we were treated to a upper class executive room on the 5th floor . When asked about breakfast the front desk personnel stated go out the front door hang a left . If you go another few feet you could eat at the McDonalds next door . Save your money . . . sleep in their parking lot . The Inn has undergone renovations the past year or so , but even more impressive than its improved decor is the courteousness and professionalism exhibited by the entire staff . Everyone is very helpful and always greets you with a smile . We have even received assistance from the more than helpful General Manager when we inquired about a specific type of room . He personally ensured we received exactly what we requested . The location and fantastic new in - house restaurant are two more reasons why this is undoubtedly the best hotel in Gainesville , FL . April 4 , 2007 - Gainesville , Florida : I just checked out of the Holiday Inn - University Center located just across the street from the University of Florida . I travel 5 - days a week . This hotel was comfortable , clean ; the staff was friendly and helpful . The hotel is just finishing up a major renovation . The room was NEW , fully renovated and very clean . The location was perfect , right across the street from the University of Florida . Great price ! I will have to send my Travel Agent a gift for booking me here . I will be back for the Football games ! Go Gators ! Booked for business trip , was centrally located . However , front desk staff was not friendly at check in . The clerk acted like I was an annoyance to her . Room was visually displeasing . Stains on the ceiling , bathroom too small and I was afraid to walk on the floor without shoes . Left early , will never go back . I have not stayed at a Holiday Inn in ages , and have avoided this one on my frequent trips to Gainesville due to the ' 3 ' rating it had . When it was among the last few hotels with rooms available last week , I decided to give it a try and was very happy with my stay . Free cookie on check in , several welcoming notes on arrival to the room . I was on the 6th floor where it was very quiet . The room was sparkling clean and smelled that way . No perfumed or stale room deodorizer scents . The soaps and other sundries were of high quality , and the bathroom was spacious . The only drawbacks were the following : it took 2 - 3 minutes for the water coming from the shower to warm up , so lots of water was wasted waiting for it to do so . The air conditioning unit was one of the loudest I have encountered , and its age did not fit with the modern feel of the room . I ordered room service as the prices were not unreasonable . However , I pretty much paid for what I got , which I suspected when they told me it would be ready in 15 - 20 minutes ! The hot stuff ( ribs ) was obviously warmed in a microwave , and the cold stuff , a ' pineapple ' cole slaw looked and tasted several days old , so I avoided finishing it . The broccoli was bright green and fresh though so that was my silver lining ! Excluding those negatives , I would definitely stay again , though might choose a lower room We visit the University Center many times on busy Florida Gator football & basketball weekends and have never been disappointed ! The hotel has been around for a long time , but they do an excellent job with upgrades - and nothing beats the location or the staff ! They are the best ! The only thing good about this hotel is its location to the University of Florida and its dedicated staff . Otherwise , for a few dollars more stay at the Marriott hotels . The Holiday Inn University has seen better days , and a few coats of paint , and new carpet will not solve its problems . The hotel needs updating , just because your guest have limited choices in hotels in Gainesville is no reason to try to charge inflated prices . The rooms at this hotel should be more in the range of $ a night or less . Yet , they want about $ . The Marriott down the road can come in at $ and it has more amenities . The cafe next to the hotel also needs an upgrade , but the staff there is friendly , courteous and young . Probably college students on a part - time job . I did not eat at the restaurant , just had a drink there . Also , though I saw cleaning products on the custodian 's cart , the bathroom in my room smelled of urine and it was nauseating . I tried to freshen it up with mouthwash since I didn 't have cleaners with me .
|
I am no longer a functioning alcoholic . . . Yep , that 's right . Today makes day 27 of no vodka , no wine , beer , or other adult beverages . The shakes have subsided , and I can actually sleep throughout the night . ( # noinsomnia ) The month of January I consumed so much alcohol I became immune . Literally . Which made me think , maybe I had a borderline drinking problem . Aside from consuming ungodly amounts of wine and vodka shots without getting a slight buzz , I had an epiphany ; I do not want to look 59 , when I am 40 , the extra calories negate my workouts , and my tolerance was so high , that I was basically wasting money on the good stuff . Don 't get me wrong , I miss vodka , and I miss my nightly glass of Shiraz , but now it 's kind of a mind over matter thing . Like can I really go without alcohol for 40 days , 40 nights ? I am close . I see the light at the end of the tunnel . In other news , this weekend I went out with one of the schoolboys Donny . It was ok , well it wasn 't super exciting or anything . I mean , he threw me off when he decided he wanted to light up ( aka smoke mary jane ) before our " date " . I mean , I don 't judge , but you mean to tell me it 's 1pm in the afternoon , we are in broad daylight where everyone can see , and you pull out a pipe and greenery because you " need a buzz " . So that was kinda strike # 1 in that it turned me off . Yes , I 've dated guys in the past that have lit - up , hell Klein even shot - gunned me , but that was after the pleasantries , well into our " relationship " in the privacy of our home . Not in the middle of the day , steps away from cops , children and old people . And I know I can 't talk , because I used to partake in vodka , like it was iced water . But I wasn 't that bad . Like I didn 't have a pint hidden in the console of my car . I only took my flask out for special occasions at nighttime , unless I was on vacation . . . so I could not really understand his need to light up during brunch hours , not to mention , I think we were parked near one of those Big Brother cameras . . . So , after the Posted by and I 'm back from vacay . . . relaxed , kissed by the sun , and ready to get the year started off right ! A little over a week ago , I celebrated my 31st birthday in the Dominican . Between drinking Mamajuana 's and laying on the beach , I began to contemplate what I want this year in terms of well - everything . On my b - day I received like 20 missed happy bday text messages , from guys from the past ( Klein , Old Man ) and guys from a possible future ( Donny & Damien ) With school getting back underway , I 'm not 100 % sure I want to get into anything too hot and heavy . Yet , I 'm kinda ready to take another stab at the R - word . Hours after my arrival back stateside , I spoke with friends , fam & Klein . We haven 't spoken or seen each other in well over two - months . I told him I was kinda suprised he remember it is was " mi cumpleanos " . We caught up , he made a couple of flirtatious remarks . . . then I decided to causually ask about the chick I ran into him with . He confirmed it 's his latest main squeeze . He went on to tell me she 's a lot like me . Like ALOT . It 's kinda weird , why would you date someone " just like me " ? After I got off the phone , it had me thinking . . . do I miss him , or the idea of him ? Mr . Henry missed me . A LOT . He wanted to see my sun - kissed skin . He pulled out all the stops . Massages . Kisses . . . and well . . . more attention than normal . He had the key to my place for two - weeks . I asked him about it once . . . he sort of " forgot " to give it back . Then I made it cyrstal clear on where he needs to leave it . He knows where I hide it though . In determining my future , I have to decide whether I am going to allow him to contiune playing house with me . I guess I have to sit down and dig deep , and stop playing the fence . I met some other randoms over the last two - weeks . All of them under 25 . I should be flattered , that they think I 'm 23 pushing 24 . But I 'm kinda over the young ' uns after my experience with Klein . Speaking of which , something funny with one of them happened this weekend . I think PATT & her new bf are sPosted by 2010 was quite memorable . From Brian to Klein , Klein to Jason , Mr . H to school , and some new playmates in the form of guys in class , I had quite a year . I know I 've been MIA , so I will do the year in review in one post . 1st Part of 2010 in Went to N . O . after receiving the invite from Brian … remember that ? Anyways , after deleting his number , and attempting to erase him from all things Diva , he still texts me from time to time . Speaking of which , he texted last night , to talk shit about my team losing their bowl game … random & out the blue . After his demise , Mr . H reappeared , but I locked my muffin , and was pretty good at keeping it away from him for 10 - months ! I went on a few dates , you know , the guy that was trying to get his green card . Then , I met the young one we affectionately ( or not ) know as Klein . We actually tried the boyfriend / girlfriend thing against my better judgment . Blame it on the vodka zapping my brain cells … or at that time , his sweetheart ways , until he started acting crazy . We had some memorable moments . Remember the " peanut butter & jelly " debacle ? That was interesting . But then we also had quite a few arguments . And after a few months of dating we dealt with family issues and I subsequently had to break it off , after getting frustrated with his mood swings . Oh and then there was that one incident … that was closure on his part . 2nd Part of 2010 After reclaiming my single & sexy card , I traded it in for a student ID and started grad school . I slowed down on the drinking and hanging , and instead focused on trying to do well during my 1st semester of the ball & chain , in the form of papers and books . In - between class , I got super horny , and decided to take a walk on the wild side with Jason . The former friend , who I pretty much only went on movie dates with . You know , the guy who thinks Midori Sours are strong . After the romp , I was quite disappointed . I tried once more , to see if it was the alcohol or him . It was him . We still talk from time to time . A few days ago , he asked me out to dinner . Dinner is too personal , is what I tried to explain to POW , I really wish I could make myself like him , but the sexual chemistry is just not there . You know who lost the sexual chemistry in 2010 ? Mr . H . I know , I know , after 11 years of on & off - ness , and sex and no sex . I finally feel like it 's not there anymore . So after hiding my muffin from him for most of the year , he wore me down , and quite frankly after having a bad romp , and no sex for months , he didn 't have to keep trying as hard as he was earlier . So we messed the sheets up about 5 or 6 times after our hiatus . And I felt nothing . Yes , I realize it took me five or six times of trying it out , but the last time we messed the sheets up , I was laying there , looking at the ceiling , trying to move his head where I wanted , and it just wasn 't working . I even tried thinking about someone else . So since then we have hung , but I 'm 100 % sure , we are done . No more freaky sex , and quite frankly I 'm cool with that , because he has some kinky fetishes his fetishes were starting to get weird . While I was focusing on the books , I met two guys in my program . Right now they are just peers , but I have hung with them during break , and outside of the classroom . Let 's start with " Donny " , he asked me for my number towards the middle of the semester . We went out once alone , and once together with other classmates . We taMissed you guys ! Happy New Year , Love Diva After 10 and a half months of avoiding his advances , flirtations , out - right attempts to get me in his clutches . . . I must say , I am pretty proud I avoided him for that long . In the past , we would have fell back into the same routine much more quickly . Technically speaking I didn 't give in , but I know I am eating the words I uttered , when I said Mr . Henry could never see the light of my muffin ever again in his lifetime . With the extinction of Klein , and school , and me being in a place of where I don 't know if I am ready to commit to another relationship , it only seemed natural that Mr . H could gain re - entry into my box . ( I know , I know ) I will say that right now the strong can 't breathe emotions & sentiment that I once felt for him are not there . However , it seems as if we will always have this unspoken silent bond . We are magnetically linked to each other - we don 't have to say anything to each other , yet we know . . . we know exactly what it is we can 't say outloud . What a crazy few weeks . . . Let me just jump right in . A few weeks ago I had drunk sex with Jason . It was bad . Really bad , like do we do a " do - over " bad , or pretend it never happened bad ? ( I 'm leaning towards pretend it never happened bad ) I 'll admit , I was in a bad place so I can take 10 % of the blame , but I thought , " drunk come and get it right now sex " was the best . Atleast that 's been my experience in the past . I guess it was bad mainly because we were friends ( atleast that 's what I 'd like to rationalize ) and aside from the fact that his rocket launched too quick , ( like waaaayyyyy too quick ) the chemistry just wasn 't there . We did it three times ( same night ) . . . but the landings always sucked . Oh well , he was the re - bound guy , I hadn 't had sex in like 2 months , we had been flirting back & forth & bam . . . Things aren 't THAT awkward though . We 've talked since then and text back and forth . Friendship still intact . . . I 'll tell you what 's awkward though . . . . I ran into Klein . . . . with another chick . It was so random and unexpected . . . it hit me like whoa . Like really , I didn 't expect it . And get this , 48 hours later . . . I run into his ass AGAIN ! ( not on purpose ) . He tried to give me a hug . He tried to make small - talk , and I was just so , like WTF , like I don 't have anything to say . I mean really , what is there to say ? I 'll admit , I could have made an effort , but it would have been so forced . DC is soooo small . Note to self : Do not date anyone that lives or works within a 3 - block radius of meIn Other News : I went on a really bad date a few weeks ago . Like , he had stalker potential . In fact , I think he tried to follow me home , because he let on that he knew what street I turned down after the date . . . . and he lives in the opposite direction ! ! ! He has called and text - stalked me . . . big huge red flags . . . Brian text me out the blue this past weekend . . . he said he was just seeing how I was doing ? Out the blueSchool has me pretty busy , but I managed to findsome time to hang last week . Mr . H & I hung with PATT and a few of my friends on Friday for Posted by Disclaimer : Read Part 1 first . Klein : But I got into a fight , with a crazy person last night . I could have got hurt or diedMe : But you 're standing here in front of me . You 're not hurt . Klein : I could have been hurt . Me : ( deep sigh ) But you 're not , you 're making assumptions and excuses . We start walking and he awkwardly tries to put his arm around me . I try to have a civil convo with him , but I 'm so fucking pissed at the fact that he 's missing the point . He then says he is pushing the whole holding me thing , as it 's still daytime , and it 's Ramadan , and that we shouldn 't talk about anything else that 's negative . He tells me he has a meeting and he will see me later . Two days go by . I finally call him and ask him to help me with something . I remind him that I 'm leaving at the butt crack of dawn , and we haven 't spent " real quality time " together . He meets me at the store , and we 're walking around , I 'm getting last minute stuff for my trip . I try to talk to him , and again , he says it 's Ramadan , and he " can 't talk about anything that will change his spirit " He then proceeds to complain about how hungry he is , and asks me how much longer am I going to be , because it 's almost sun - down . I point out to him , that he chose to fast , so basically why " are you complaining , and that if you are so hungry leave " . He basically says if he leaves , then I 'll just be mad at him again . At this point I checked out . Mentally , it 's no reasoning with him . I 'm not done shopping , I tell him to go ahead without me , go eat ( I need peace & quiet , and frankly didn 't feel like hearing his fucking excuses , whining , and bitching about not eating ) . He takes half of the things I brought to drop them off at my place . Me : are you coming over after dinnerKlein : yeaMe : so like an hour or soKlein : Yea , I gotta eat , or so . It 's Ramadan , so we can 't do anything . . . Me : Seriously , I have to pack and stuff , I leave early and won 't be back till Sunday . Klein : Ok , I 'll see you soon ( he gives me a hug & kiss ) I didPosted by Ok , so I know I 've been MIA , and now here I am , trying to play catch - up , fill - in & fill - up . So let me start with a few disclaimers . As usual , I 'm drinking . So if something doesn 't make since , blame the Yellowtail Shiraz ( hey , good cheap wine , what can I say ) . Disclaimer # 2 , I haven 't had sex in like 2 months . . . so everything reeks of sexual tension . I 'm scared I 'll throw my panties at some random guy on the street anyday now , although I must say , I 've been in some hard situations the last month ( all puns intended ) , and didn 't give in . . . . so maybe the horny - ness is a mental thing . First things first . I remember I told you I was going to tell you about the break - up with Klein . Hopefully to clear up the fact that I 'm not a bitch for breaking up with him shortly after his mom passed . Here goes . . . So in the comments awhile ago , I indicated my rocking , eccentric Aunt passed away shortly after Klein 's mom . In fact , we were together when I got the news that she had hours ( if that ) to live . Klein & I talked about her & we talked about his mom , life , blah , blah , blah . So we depart , and on my long drive home , she passes . I call him to let him know . He doesn 't answer . A few hours later he calls me & tells me he 's out & will call me later . Later ends up being the next day or so . I had to call him because his phone was off . . . so I let him know I 'm going home for her funeral over the weekend ( it 's like Monday evening at this point ) . He 's still out of town at this point & says he doesn 't know when he 'll be back , he has family stuff to take care of . Well he gets back in town Wednesday ( but he doesn 't tell me , I found out via his sister early Thursday morning , after she sent me a text asking me if I spoke to him ) . We talked Thursday evening . I left Friday morning for the funeral . I leave on Friday & not once does he : 1 ) call me to see if I made it home ok2 ) check on me to see how my fam is doing with everything3 ) check on me to see how I am doing4 ) see when I 'll be back , call to say he misses me , or and fuckery of that nature . I get back toPosted by That wasn 't fair Klein . . . Fuck closure . That was the idea , behind the come get your shit movement . Closure . This weekend was crazy . Ok , let me start in order . Friday night vodka got the best of me , and lets just say I ran into some of Klein 's co - workers . The next day they told him I was inebriated ( well in their words fucked up ) . He told them I wasn 't his gf anymore and that I broke up with him . He calls me to get my side of the story , I blow him off because I was on my way back to Mr . H 's . I spent all day Saturday at Mr . H 's place . No sex with Mr . H . In fact , I couldn 't even think about bringing myself to letting him nibble my muffin . I thought about it , but I wasn 't turned on by the thought of him . In fact , I was probably dryer than the Sahara desert when thinking about him getting close to my lady parts . . . . my mind was somewhere else . I left his place around 3 : 15am , Klein calls me at 3 : 45am . I knew he was going to call . I push silent and go to sleep . Tonight , man . . . . . . . where do I start . I study , eat , nap , Klein comes over for the " pick your stuff up , I don 't want it in my house anymore closure event " . We talk . We talk about why it wasn 't working , we talk about maybe later in life , He apologizes and says he 's sorry he wasn 't the man I wanted him to be . We talk about us . . . . He tells me I was the best gf he ever had . . . he was supposed to meeting his boys in 15 minutes . We hug for a really long time . We say stuff that 's deep . I tell him he should go , it 's late and he 's gotta meet his friends . He says he has time . We kiss . He tugs at my skirt , and I tell him no . " Remember you 're practicing Ramadan " He says he doesn 't care and wants to do it . He tries again . I try to stop him . He gets on his knees , and kisses me . I try to stop him again . He says he wants to . On the floor in my living room , he gives me the best oral conversation ever , and gets up and leaves . Damn fucker . I was supposed to meet my friends out tonight , I was on my way to Mr . H 's . . . gotta get it together . . . I can 't believe he just pulled that . . . . I gave him the disclaimer twice . . . " no sex " . . . he said he just wanted to hold me ( yeah right . . . ) so , against my better judgment I went over there . . . . because . . . well because , he wore me down . He 's been asking daily for I don 't know how long and technically it was not cheating , seeing as how I broke it off with Klein before I went to the Islands . . . . so I was super single . Once we got to his house , I asked him for shorts because I forgot pj 's ( ummm who wears pj 's anymore ? ) . He 's awkwardly trying to figure out which way to lay . We leave the t . v . on , he pulls me close & I have restless sleep , pretty much the whole night . Somewhere between me dreaming of beaches & rum punch and 6 : 30am , he starts kissing me , and tries to eat my " muffin " . . . I clutch my shorts and SHUT IT DOWN . . . Yes , Klein & I are not together . I got so fucking frustrated with him , I gave him the deuces via text ( don 't sue me , I tried to call him and he didn 't answer so I had no choice . . . . ) , and boarded a plane to paradise for 4 days , thereby cutting off all phone communication with him . Guess he was salty about it , because he tried to take shots at me on Facebook . . . . . oh well , once a child , always a child . The longer story of why I broke up with him will follow soon The opportunity to cheat has been placed on a silver platter with a vodka on the rocks and medium filet mignon tonight . . . proud to say I 'm on a diet and resisted temptation . It was tempting yes , but I 'm trying to be a good girl . . . and just so you know , I do like steak , and it was hard ( no puns intended ) to resist . In Other NewsI 'll be starting school in a few weeks , to obtain an advanced degree in something other than dating . Klein and I are doing pretty ok . We have our moments . Some days it 's great and other days I 'm like fuck it , I quit . For the most part though , I do care about him and I know he cares about me , so we work on it . I still have that one little , itty bitty muy tiny problemo . I still haven 't told Mr . H about Klein and vise versa and I can 't bring myself to do it . Inquiring minds want to know why . Is it because I want to keep my options or am I simply to pansy to woman up and face the wrath from both of them . I kinda prefer not to tell them , but chick friends pose the question , " why not " ? And that , I can 't truly answer . I 'd like to think of myself as a romantic . . . but I 'm a realist 1st . I try to be open , honest and candid in my dating life , and it carries over into everything else . I 'm still somewhat of a party girl at heart , who deep down , wants that " special " guy at the end of the night to cuddle with . If my friends could pick three words to describe me , they 'd be looking through the dictonary all day & night , because . . . it changes . I 'm a lover , that 's sometimes too laid back for my own good . I 'm a social drinker , social partier , and social flirt who lives by no one 's rules but my own . . . no 3 month rules for sex . . . no regrets . . . and no looking back . . . always learning , being safe , and living life to the fullest , one day at a time .
|
Radiograph of my Sorrows by Natalia Drepina Even if it 's a terrible diagnosis , you crave even the worst titles , just to have a name . Just to put a label on what your body is experiencing . You dream of a diagnosis for the madness eating away at your body and your life . You want to scream when test after test comes back normal , appointment after appointment with no answers , and you wonder how much longer your body will hold out like this ! Each frustrated physician and healer is at a loss and they know anything more they try could likely only make you worse . So one by one , they set you free into the river of uncertainty to face the un - named beasts in you alone - ALONE . During my descent into illness , all I could see was what was being taken from me . When chronic illness kept routinely shaking up my life in new and horrible ways , I started to believe that there was nothing to look forward to , and the injustice of going from perfectly fine to not fine at all was unforgivable . It 's natural to feel that way , everyone grieves uniquely , and we lose a lot in the transition from well to sick . Grieving is permitted , encouraged , and part of the process of regaining strength . It 's not pleasant to be in that place , where all roads lead away from your dreams , all days blend together because of the pain , and because of all the sadness , fogginess , stress , and panic of becoming suddenly or gradually disabled . You may in that time lose track of who you are for a second , or maybe for a lot longer , because it seems like it is all going to be taken and not one scrap of the person you were before will be left . Take a minute with me to envision what you have lost . For instance , as my illnesses multiplied and progressed , I lost my ability to work , drive , plan a schedule and stick to it , work out consistently , go where I want when I want , grocery shop on my own , pay bills , feel accomplished , cook , clean , and there is the scary possibility that I may not ever be able to have children with my specific problems . I have lost confidence , I have lost my sense of place and I have lost my mission in life . Or have I ? Okay , upon second look , yes , I have lost the ability to drive , but not my ability to travel with others and see through other 's eyes . I have lost my ability to work a traditional job , but not my ability to create a new legacy through artistic endeavors . I have lost many friends and relationships , but those were not the people I wanted and truly needed to find . I have lost the ability to plan ahead , but found the freedom to enjoy the spontaneous little joys my body does allow . There is a good chance I may not be able to give birth , but I can still have a family built on love , and maybe some day I can even adopt . I have lost confidence but then found it again in the oddest of places , like this blog and in my artwork and jewelry making . I lost a lot , yes , but the gifts that took residence in those spaces and voids in me where I felt loss and grief are astronomically more important to me now than what I lost ever was . What I have now cannot be taken away . It cannot be undone or shattered by someone or something external . I can and do still have dreams and goals , and they are not all tinged with the bitterness of " but only if I could just ____ . It would be so much easier . " Easier is not always better . It might feel better for a while , but I 'm the kind of person who has always needed a challenge to rise to , a place to test my strengths and get to know my weaknesses so that they can never destroy me . Illness and hitting rock bottom emotionally , physically , and mentally was that place . With the door to my previous lifestyle , abilities , and routines firmly shut behind me , and no idea where I was or where I could go from there , I somehow found the strength to lift my head and take that first stumbling steps towards the only tiny pinpricks of light I could make out in the inky void in front of me . In the beginning they seemed either so small or so far away that the journey was certainly pointless , but still , I missed daylight and fresh air too much , so I put one shaky foot in front of the other and moved , as slowly as I needed to , as fast as I could . Sometimes I crawled with my head down through narrow passages , in the direction I thought I had seen the light , and sometimes I got lost and had to double back . Sometimes the light flickered and I felt a cold rush of terror and emptiness . At those times , I feared I would be stuck forever in this place , and there were points where I was more certain of that than anything else , but still I wanted more , and still I crawled toward the promise of less stale air , away from the rotting dampness , and towards the possibilities that those lights represented . I imagined that when I found them they could be so many different things , maybe just a forgotten candle abandoned along the path by someone else who had gone before , or maybe it would be the full daylight streaming in through a tiny crack in the darkness . Maybe I could find that crack and widen it , pry it apart with my bare , bleeding hands , sucking gulps of fresh air into my screaming lungs . Of course I stumbled and fell , sometimes a great distance . I fell all the time . Falling became a part of the journey , and one I became increasingly comfortable with . Go ahead , knock me over again , throw me off a cliff . I taunted the empty darkness , not out of bravery but out of stubbornness . Clinging to any surface that seemed stable , my feet learned to anticipate the road ahead a little better with each steep , scrabbling climb and desperate push to make it just one more tiny , trembling inch towards the light . As I pulled and climbed my way through the darkness , I began to see a glow ahead , not the bright streaming light of day , but I large mass of light ahead , hazy and difficult to make out , but there , somewhere ahead of me , above me . My hands clawed at the side of the cliff face I was travelling up , searching for the edge , finding it and then pulling for what seemed like forever , my arms burning and shaking , my fingers slipping on the stone . And then I was on top of the cliff , looking back at the dizzying heights I had climbed to , so far that I couldn 't even see where I had come from . There was just the black abyss in the direction I had previously travelled in . I turned my back to the deep darkness , prepared to continue my escape , not sure how I had made it so far or how far I still had to go . As I faced my new direction suddenly there were hundreds of lights , some tiny , some larger . I was overwhelmed by how many of them I could see , in every direction . The darkness behind me gaped open , reached out its fingers for me , but I knew the darkness was a lie now . Just like going outside of a large city to watch the stars wheeling in the sky in some dark corner of the wilderness , I was seeing what had lain ahead all along for the very first time . It had all been there already , but like the starry skies , hidden by nasty pollution , obscured by the much dimmer lights seeping out from under the doors that had long ago slammed shut behind me , and blocked by rainclouds I could not control . Every period of pitch darkness that I learned to live through , every cliff face scaled , every strange twisting path taking me farther and farther from the roads I had already traveled , had been leading me here , to the warm mass of lights joining together . Then without knowing where it had begun , I was on a road again , a completely different road . It was a clear , brightly lid road , with others traveling along side me . I did not know how long they had been beside me , but I saw these souls carrying each other even when they themselves were weary and their feet dragged . They pushed each other forward with encouraging words , with outstretched hands , and the path became more and more filled with light . I began to follow their example , finding people who had fallen down and supporting their weight until they could support themselves again . Ahead of me I could feel the first rays of sunlight as the night began to dissolve into the distance behind me . I kept moving , my arms linked with hundreds of other men and women who were determined that we would make it , all of us . As the sun rose higher , thawing the frozen fingers of my traveling companions , turning our lips from blue back to pink , I could see that it was not merely hundreds I travelled with , but millions . As far as the eye could see , the crowd extended , all joined together , all making sure no one fell behind . Suddenly I remembered that in the beginning , when I fell , I didn 't always fall that far , and it had been those outstretched hands pulling me back to safety when I teetered on the edge . I may not have realized it at the time , but the small candles littering my path , the tiny flickers of warmth and truth , each beating heart that extended me love , had been with me in the cold , lonely night , too . We had not seen each other yet , but we were all heading in the same direction , some crawling , some sprinting . Fear evaporated , all memories of bleeding alone in the dark overtaken by the friendly faces all around me , the warm and calloused , well - traveled hands holding mine . From the blackness where I had first found myself , alone and terrified , to the uncertainty of the tiny branching paths leading away from everything I knew , to the first time a hand touched mine in the darkness , and finally to the moment that the sun began to rise and I knew things would be better soon , this had been a four year journey of climbing out , scraping knees and shoulders , muscles burning , hands shakily feeling out the rough outline of objects blocking my path , while my feet unconsciously learned to avoid the dangerous patches of shifting ground that appeared frequently . The many falls , the hands who helped me stand up again , the unconditionally loving community of fellow travelers who had all stumbled their way , thinking themselves alone , through the darkness . Each person beside me now was as insistent and stubborn as I was . We had not been willing to die in the valleys and ravines that life had flung us down . Working together , even when we didn 't realize it , we had found allies in those who also fled the same nightmares . The bright of the sun rising ahead of us made the long , harsh journey fall away . I could see people hugging , celebrating , and smiling , soaking in the widening rays of light as they congratulated each other . There would be other dark nights to travel through , but now we were not alone , we were moving steadily away from the vast emptiness behind us , with millions more beginning the final stages of their climb towards the daylight , and millions more up ahead . The climb out is shorter in the end if you pace yourself , if you do not fall as often , if you survey your surroundings with purpose , resourcefulness , and an eye for opportunity , but also for danger . Making the journey meant frequently taking a moment to scan the horizon for trouble looming and for the possibility of new paths appearing in front of me at any time , in any place . It meant that I could pause , but I could never stop . Even suddenly in the middle of the darkness , there can be a new object in your line of sight that wasn 't visible just a few steps back . You don 't know what 's out there until you start moving away from the doors that are already closed and seek out the road ( s ) leading to what is still possible . Up until this past year , there would have been no way to know what was up ahead , or even what direction I was travelling in . I was doing my best , but my best didn 't seem nearly good enough . All that surrounded me was loss and grief , and though I tried to focus on other things , my mind was always drawn back to the negatives . Trapped in the cage of chronic illness and chronic pain , I saw myself as useless , I imagined my future was full of only mounting grief , I felt horribly selfish for getting sick , I could find nothing to love about myself and could not see how anyone else could love me either . Things were bleak and dark , unfair , stacked against me , and I didn 't want to have to be the one who was stronger than I felt . I wanted to scream , I didn 't want to be inspirational , I didn 't want to be friendly , I didn 't want to learn mindfulness or try to be more optimistic , I didn 't want to try to build a new , healthy life within my limits because the limits seemed ridiculous and , well , limiting . I just wanted a cure , and anything less was inexcusably , woefully inadequate . And that 's okay . That 's a part of the process . Some of us stay there for longer than others . There is no right and no wrong here , and no shame , only the eventuality of picking yourself up , or taking the hands that are offered , and trying again no matter what . There 's no denying that when you feel like you 've lost your purpose in life , it 's tough to see the point in putting one foot in front of the other . All that matters is that I made it , and that others have made it , and that you will too , one day . In the future , there will be a time when you look back , and you will see how far you 've come and how many people have helped you along the way , and you will marvel , because wasn 't life supposed to be over ? Wasn 't everything supposed to be spiraling further and further into the realm of tragedy ? But it isn 't either of those things . There are awful parts , there are many of them , and there are times when I pray for death because I hurt so much and I have nothing that helps , but from here on out , I can remember that I am always arm in arm with millions upon millions of other pain warriors . Even through the darkest night , the men and women I march with are always right beside me . They make sure I get up when I fall , they pull me along when I cannot walk , they lend me light when my own candle burns out . There will be other doors in my life that slam shut on dreams I have held dear . Chronic illness is not the only fight I will have to survive , nor is my struggle with illness and pain over . It continues , and I continue to move towards hope and light all the same . There is no going back , there is nothing there for me . Only sealed doors . If you are in that same murky darkness , you are not alone . The paths away from the places you have been shut out from , take them , take any path , because I promise that where you are heading is better than where you have been . Maybe not tomorrow , or the next day , but eventually . Daylight is coming . The biggest , shiniest piece of advice I have to offer on living well with chronic illness is that the company here does not suck . In fact , that person whose writing , photography , art , or youtube channel makes you feel like they truly understand you , go talk to that person ! I can 't promise something magical will happen , but you never know . Magical things have definitely happened for me in the friends and community I have made online , and every time a new and beautiful friendship arises , it has started with an honest expression of admiration that turned out to be very , very mutual . Exactly why I 'm so glad to be off of it now ! ! ! Lyrica is an awful , awful drug that made me gain so much weight and lose the ability to feel any pleasurable stimuli . My brain and my sense of self slowly floated further and further away . Now that I am successfully free , it 's like seeing in color again for the first time in years . The researchers in the above study try to downplay the serious nature of the drugs by saying " adult neurons don 't form many new synapses . " That is simply not true . The new science is showing that brain health during aging relies on the formation of new synapses … There 's no reason to be so alarmist about Lyrica and Neurontin . Yes , patients need to be informed about the history of these drugs , especially since doctors don 't know how they work . In fact , one doctor who wanted to prescribe Lyrica for me told me … If you are shopping for a loved one with a chronic illness , long - term illness , or disability , you may feel unsure of their needs , wants and special daily circumstances . Most of these gifts are either for comfort or meant to inspire , yet are still appropriate for someone who is mostly confined to their home or uses a walking aid , if applicable . Here are several gift ideas along with advice to help you shop ( from someone who has personal experience with chronic illness , and great friends and family . ) * Starred shops are run by disabled sellers who work extra - hard to support themselves . I know it 's been a while , I 'm sorry to leave anyone hanging , I did not intend to abandon my blog for so long . I have been very busy while I was away from writing , I promise ! One of the last things I wrote before I went on hiatus this past summer has just been published , thanks to my brilliant friend Rebecca , as a Guest Post on AXIS Dance Company 's blog . The article I wrote covers the topic of distraction therapy in relation to managing chronic pain , something I am incredibly grateful for . This isn 't the reason I have been gone , but it is something I have been wanting to write about my experience with for a long time . Though it was written months ago , when I came back to read it yesterday , I discovered that it applies even more now . In the guest post , I make sure to include steps I have taken to prevent losing my creative force . There is a portion dealing with guilt that was especially appropriate for me to remind myself of this week . I also describe my top ten distractions and some of the ways I have modified those activities so that they are still possible to enjoy , maybe not every day , but regularly . I am seeing first hand that with practice , pacing , and modifications to favorite activities , you can still lead a fulfilling , richly creative life in the face of chronic pain or illness ( or both ) . One activity swap I have done is due to not having the energy or physical stamina to paint any more , at least for now . I was devastated at first . Losing painting hurt so much and left such a void , and my grief over not being physically capable of painting seems to come in waves . Knowing how far away from myself I feel when I can 't garden , paint , or cook , three of my more physical hobbies that used to dominate my free time , I took the opportunity to rekindle an old hobby ; beadworking and jewelry making ! I am loving every second of it , even with the arthritis in my hands , this is something I can do in bed or sitting up . The reason I have been gone for so long is that I opened an Etsy shop to sell my jewelry and artwork . The shop is called The Hopeful Spoon , where I design , make , and sell Awareness Jewelry for spoonies , as well as Boho beaded creations for the free - spirited style - hunter . Some select pieces of artwork are slowly being added to the store as well . In one month of being open for business so far , I haven 't done half bad ! Currently , I am averaging a sale every other day , which is about a quarter of where I need to be , but definitely gives me hope that I can meet my goal in the not too distant future . For my readers , I have special spoonie discount codes , as well as two public coupons that are displayed in my shop announcement . The first code is 10SSPOONIE for 10 % off of any price order , and the second is 20SPOONIE for 20 % off of $ 50 or more ! Happy holiday shopping , and thank you for checking out my newest artistic endeavors . I am loving having my passion for art back in my daily life . I hope you love the designs I have been working with as much as I love creating them . Here is a peak at just a couple of the goodies up on my new shop , with more being added almost every day : Somehow , dysautonomia and all the illnesses under its umbrella have continued to be brushed off as a woman 's issue , exaggeration , not a big deal , " just live with it " , " I get dizzy sometimes too , have you tried drinking more water ? " , " come on , I bet you 'd feel better if you just got up and got out of the house " , or everyone 's favorite , " You don 't look sick , though . " As if every POTsie hasn 't tried slugging back a dozen bottles of gatorade and coconut water per day for weeks on end , as though we somehow prefer lying in bed or using a wheelchair to get around and depending on our friends / families for everything when two years ago we could bike or run as far as we wanted , as if we haven 't all tried to convince ourselves in the beginning of our illnesses that it might just be in our head and gone out to do the thing , only to pass out doing the thing , or before we could do the thing . And what on earth does sick even look like ? ! No one can answer that question , I 've found . I 'm putting salt in my coffee as I write this , and I have 32oz of water in a quart sized mason jar lined up behind that which I must drink just so I can take a shower without falling on my face ( again ) . After I get out of the shower , the heat will have made all the blood pool in my stretchy veins in my legs , which will be extremely puffy and swollen and sting like crazy when my feet touch the bath mat . I won 't be able to dry off , most likely , so I 'll wrap up in a towel and cling to the walls on my way to rest in bed for twenty minutes , at which point hopefully I will be dry and slightly recovered . I will still be dizzy , hot - flash - y , have a bright red line across my nose and cheeks , and I will probably feel very nauseous for a few hours , sometimes even the rest of the day , but I will push on , salting yet another cup of coffee , salting my food , chugging water throughout my afternoon and evening , and I will struggle through my physical therapy exercises , I will quite possibly be too weak to pull my own damn covers over my body tonight , and that 's life with a very mild case of POTS . I 'm one of the lucky ones , I can count my falls on my fingers instead of by the dozens . I 'm lucky because in the morning when the blood pooling is at its worst I can lift my own legs , lean them up against the wall and flex until the blood goes back where it needs to be . I 'm lucky that I can take a shower by myself at all , even if it 's kind of miserable . I 'm lucky that if I bend over I don 't necessarily land on my head every time . But I know so many wonderful people who are not so lucky . I 'm lucky that I 've had my symptoms my entire life and they haven 't taken the sudden turn for the worst that I 've seen happen to so many friends . So I do all the things ( just less often than I used to ) that my autonomic nervous system make so very complicated , and I try my best to only state what my reality is , rather than complaining about it . Life is this way , I cannot change it for myself or my loved ones . All I can do is eduFinding Out Fibro No one bothered to teach me about the autonomic nervous system . In a perfect world , doctors would explain these things to patients who are experiencing classic symptoms of ANS malfunction , as I am , and they would explain just how involved the ANS is in so many processes throughout the body . Normally , when you are in pain or experiencing stress , your autonomic nervous system ramps up your blood pressure , makes you sweat , and elevates your heart rate . When the pain or stressor is gone , your ANS should quiet … My friend Misty is a Lyme Disease fighter , and she 's been fighting it for more than fifteen years , though she was diagnosed within the last two years , about the same time I found out I had fibro . We grew up in the same small little town towards the Oregon coast , and since I never went to high school with her , being sent off to private school instead , we didn 't have an opportunity to speak for many years . Thanks to the magic of facebook , we are back in touch . I 've learned a lot from Misty . In addition to being a totally courageous and fabulous warrior kindred spirit , she is also a mom to two little ones . She just had her second , against all odds , against everything she 's been told by doctors about her prognosis . She keeps searching for a cure on her own , she keeps educating others about tick borne diseases , and she keeps building her family . She fights LD with a holistic , carefully researched approach . That kind of honesty and determination deserve some love . Though I wish she had her own blog to record her thoughts because her writing is incredibly strong and poignant , you can understand why a mom to a little boy and a new baby girl , a mom who suffers from advanced Lyme Disease , does not have the energy to keep up a blog . When she posted this poem on her facebook , I had to ask if I could share it on her behalf , because I 'm feeling really lost and this piece of writing calmed me down and reminded me that as much as I 'm feeling rejection right now , there is a lot of love in the spoonie community , enough to make up for what I 'm missing . We are never fighting chronic illness alone , no matter how geographically separated we are , we spoonies do such a great job of always lifting each other up with what little energy each of us has . I want to get to a better place so I can really live again , within my limitations . So I can make my mark , however that is possible . It has to be possible . Everything is so hard now , but I know who I am , and I know who my friends are . I 'm stronger than ever in some ways , and I am learning to forgive myself for the weaker parts . Even when all I can do is breathe , it helps to remember that just being alive is amazing and improbable . I am so grateful for days when I am capable of seeing past the storms overhead . It 's okay that I can 't do that every day , because I 'm doing my best . Handy to print out or save to phone in case you end up in the hospital : This card is to go with my post on How to Use the ER in Case of Chronic Pain Emergency , which has gotten over 50k views in just under a year ! I never thought anything I wrote would be shared to facebook 10k times , or viewed 50k , or shared all over Pinterest , or anything remotely close to that , honestly , especially in my first year of blogging . I 'm so thrilled and so thankful for the opportunity to share what I have researched and witnessed firsthand about living with chronic illness , chronic pain , disability , and mental health challenges . I hear it echoed over and over again by my friends , my self , and chronic illness writers across the web . The hardest part is getting those around you to understand what chronic pain takes away , not only from your physical capabilities , but cognitive abilities , focus , social functions and so many other things , too many to list . What the general public and even caretakers and close friends may not know is that chronic pain changes everything , from taking a shower to driving to thinking clearly in a meeting to not cutting a major artery in a surgery . Some days , I feel lucky to have done the dishes even if I did nothing else that day . Sometimes just surviving is overwhelming . If I can do nothing else , on my days when I am resigned to a chair or the couch , I want to help spread the word about the … Like any fourteen - year - old preparing for high school , Emily Lemiska felt self - conscious about her appearance . She wasn 't worried about her weight , hair or skin . Emily was self - conscious about her abnormally short neck . She asked her parents to make an appointment with her pediatrician to take a look . Emily , her parents and her doctor alike were shocked when an X - ray showed she had Klippel - Feil syndrome ( KFS ) . Klippel - Feil is a spine disorder characterized by the fusion of two or more cervical vertebrae , which decreases range of motion and flexibility in the neck . It is known to cause pain , especially later in life , and increases the dangers of even minor trauma to the neck . With reports estimating the condition occurs in one in 40 , 000 live births , KFS is considered a rare disease . Emily 's case is even more atypical in that seven of her vertebras , C2 - T1 , are fused . Fortunately , Emily was asymptomatic , with no pain or discomfort . Nor did she appear to have any of the additional abnormalities - ranging from heart defects to hearing loss - sometimes associated with KFS . Although she could no longer participate in some of her favorite activities like playing volleyball or riding rollercoasters , which put her at risk of whiplash or other injuries , she was able to maintain a normal life . While doctors continued to monitor her neck annually , her health thankfully stayed the same . Although she felt a little isolated because of her condition , for the most part , instead of worrying about KFS , Emily was able to worry about the usual teenage woes like boys and grades . Determined to experience life to the fullest , Emily left her small town in Connecticut to attend Northeastern University in Boston . She excelled in her classes , formed friendships with a tight - knit group of honors students , and met her now - husband , Dan . She was extremely active in extracurricular activities , serving as editor - in - chief of the literary arts magazine , vice chair of student media and copy editor at the newspaper . Even with her busy schedule at school , she managed to work part - time and volunteer on a regular basis . In 2008 , after a semester abroad in Barcelona , Emily graduated summa cum laude with a bachelor 's degree in English . She accepted a position at Mass General Hospital in the public affairs department , where she served as editor of the hospital - wide newsletter , spearheaded communications campaigns and interacted with local media . Her job was chaotic at times , but she loved it . She took pride in her work and became a valuable asset to the team . Emily found an outlet from her demanding job in the form of running and weightlifting . She liked the way physical activity made her feel , and the doctors who continued to monitor her encouraged an active lifestyle . She had no idea that an upcoming five - mile run would change the course of her entire life . That springtime " fun run " around the Charles River in 2011 would be the last time she ever ran . The day after the race , Emily was startled by brutal shoulder and neck spasms that crippled her with pain . When they didn 't subside in a few days , she made an appointment to see her doctor . He was perplexed . X - rays and MRIs didn 't reveal any reason for her sudden symptoms . He assumed she strained a few muscles , prescribed Valium and a neck brace , and suggested taking it easy for a few weeks . The next two months were torture . Emily couldn 't use her arms or lift anything without excruciating muscle pain ; even typing at work irritated her shoulder muscles . With every movement , her entire spine felt as though it was being yanked . Walking and riding the bus to and from work became dreaded endeavors , and any vibration caused unimaginable discomfort . Getting through the workday became her sole focus : she quit exercising , stopped volunteering at the local library and declined invitations from friends . Dan and her two roommates had to help her with even the smallest tasks , like making dinner and cleaning . The symptoms only intensified . In July , Emily woke up before dawn to discover her left side completely numb . Terrified , she called her parents and then took a taxi to the emergency room . Again , the doctors were at a loss . The ER visit led to a consult with a neurosurgeon . Within minutes of reviewing her neck imaging , the physician told Emily and her dad that she had another abnormality besides fused vertebrae : a tethered spinal cord . This neurological disorder is caused when spinal cord tissue attaches to the spinal column , limiting the movement of the spinal cord . He also discovered that in the same area , Emily had diastematomyelia or a split spinal cord . In hopes of halting the progression of these conditions and lessening the pain , he proposed emergency neurosurgery to untether her spinal cord . Dan 's commitment never wavered despite the stress on their relationship . In fact , he embraced Emily more fully than ever , proposing to her three days prior to her operation . In the days leading up to surgery , Dan began referring to her as his " brave little toaster , " a reference to the 1987 Disney movie about an animated toaster who faces many obstacles on his journey to find his owner . The six - hour surgery , by technical standards , was a success , and the spinal cord was freed from the spinal column . After seven days in the ICU , she went home to Connecticut to finish her recovery . Determined to return to normal life , Emily went back to work only a month and a half later . She immediately realized she had returned too soon . The pain returned quickly and with vengeance . " I was absolutely miserable , but too stubborn to show it outright . By the time I got home at night all I had the energy to do was cry . I felt completely dehumanized by pain . " Weekends were no longer spent enjoying all that Boston had to offer . Instead , she would lie in bed , trying to recover from the week before and prepare for the one ahead . All the while , the muscle spasms and nerve pain were unrelenting . Her frequent doctor visits left her discouraged as well . While following the doctors ' suggestions , nothing subdued the pain . Because her muscles were irritated and her spinal cord increasingly sensitive post - surgery , treatments like physical therapy and injections would sometimes even exacerbate her issues . In December 2012 , Emily made the difficult decision to leave her position at Mass General Hospital . Much of how she defined herself was her successful career . Quitting was a huge loss , but she had no choice . With Klippel - Feil being a degenerative syndrome , Emily had to slow down . She needed to change tactics , and instead of constantly playing defense against her aggressive symptoms , she had to go on the offense . It was important for her to protect her baseline so as to not regress further . Back in Connecticut , Emily and Dan moved in with her parents for six months before finding an apartment nearby . Emily 's dad now drives her wherever she needs to go , and her mom , a registered nurse , attends all of her major doctor 's appointments . This extra help has been much appreciated - knowing that Emily would not be able to work , Dan is attending law school in hopes that his career might make enough income for two . To manage the pain , Emily takes more than 10 pills a day . Eager to be free from the side effects of her medications - including fatigue and mental cloudiness - Emily continues to pursue treatments that don 't come in tablet form . She and Dan also hope to someday start a family , and the drugs she takes are not conducive to pregnancy . Among the options she is considering is a spinal fusion surgery . This would entail implanting rods and screws to reinforce her spine . Although it might be her best option , there are great risks involved , and doctors are not sure whether it will help significantly . The rarity of her case means it is impossible to know whether it 's the right decision - there is nothing to compare to , no KFS studies to point to a positive outcome . If she does choose to have surgery , Emily knows that it may not be a full solution . She hopes that the right combination of Western medicine and complementary therapies might bring relief . An epidural nerve block , for example , decreased nerve pain in her face for a short time . Acupuncture and massage also help with the pain , as does wearing a neck brace and heat and ice therapy . To keep the rest of her body active , Emily stretches every day , goes for short walks several times a week and recently began swimming . All of these activities require modifications ; for example , she swims using a snorkel mask to avoid having to move her neck to breathe . But Emily says that doing an adapted version is far better than doing nothing at all . The goal of being a mom and publishing her personal writing one day drives her to stay positive and proactive during her search for better answers . Emily 's life has completely changed due to the progression of her disease . She has had to redefine herself entirely . Not being able to work , having put such emphasis on her job , has been a major loss . She misses her hobbies , like running , playing the piano , cooking and volunteering . It especially bothers her that she can no longer help others , but instead , is the one who constantly needs help . " It is hard to be 28 and unable to enjoy life as much as I want to , " she says . " My to - do list and my body don 't see eye - to - eye . Each day I have to find a balance between pushing myself enough to feel accomplished , but not so much that I 'm hurting myself . " Emily still does the things she loves , but in small doses with lots of rest in between . And even though her activity is limited , she says she never feels bored . To keep busy , she reads , listens to podcasts and TED talks , takes online courses , meditates and writes . She continues to do occasional writing projects as a freelancer , but only as the pain allows . She also enjoys taking trips with Dan and having friends over to visit . Emily jokes that even with all she does , it 's difficult not to feel like a professional sick person . Much of her daily routine consists of taking care of herself , scheduling appointments and dealing with insurance and disability paperwork . While initially denied disability earlier this year , thanks to help from a state health care advocate , she was approved in September after a long appeal process . The stress of being disbelieved and misjudged was difficult to take . Knowing there is a negative public view of those needing to use disability benefits , she wishes others understood that the majority applying for help really need it . Like her , they want to work but are truly unable to due to severe health limitations . Without assistance , she is incapable of supporting herself . In fact , she and Dan had to rely on food stamps for a few months just to get by . Emily is not ashamed talking about her personal trials , even financial ones . In fact , she is very open about the truth many in the pain community experience every day , even when it is hard for others to hear . She feels if more people were open about their hardships , there would be fewer stigmas and less misunderstanding about chronic pain . She believes sharing struggles does not make a person weak or vulnerable , but shows strength . For this reason , Emily keeps a blog . Not only is it personally cathartic for her , but it is also a way for family and friends to stay in the loop . Occasionally , posts are so widely shared that they serve to help increase awareness about chronic pain among individuals outside her inner circle . Through her experiences , Emily realizes that giving up is not an option . If she could stress one thing to her pain peers it would be to become an expert on their particular diseases . " You have to advocate and fight for your care . Answers may be difficult to find , but never stop searching or hoping . It may take time , but the medical community makes advances every day . You don 't want to be the one to give up the day before they find the treatment the helps you . " Emily also stays connected and informed through the resources she receives from the Klippel - Feil Syndrome Freedom . This small , grassroots nonprofit is trying to help people afflicted with the disease obtain support , strength and information . Created by other Klippel - Feil patients , the organization is personally dedicated to the cause . Through this group , Emily finally met another individual with this disease , fourteen years after her diagnosis . Being able to connect with someone like her was life changing . For the first time , Emily did not feel so isolated and alone in the world . She had met someone who fully understood - and she was delighted to see that this fellow patient had two children of her own . In her small way , she is doing her part to advance care for KFS patients . She is working on a KFS survey to collect data on patterns of abnormalities , symptoms and treatments tried . She hopes the results will help inform the medical community while empowering those living with the devastating disease . She is also planning a holiday fundraiser for 2015 - featuring a skeleton key holiday ornament - with proceeds benefiting KFS Freedom . Cheerful and determined , Emily chooses to live in gratitude . While Klippel - Feil is progressive , she knows she is blessed with an amazing support system . Her parents , friends and husband go above and beyond to show her she is loved and that she is never alone . Her doctors aren 't sure how much worse her condition might become as time passes . But Emily is not giving up on life ; rather , she is embracing it . " People often seem surprised at how positive I am , " says Emily . " We all have a tendency to underestimate ourselves . No matter what life throws at you , you can and will find a way to live the best life possible . " In simple terms , a trigger point is a knot that forms in the muscle and sends pain to other areas of the body . Trigger points cause the muscle to become tighter and shorten . When muscles shorten , they cannot go through the full range of motion , altering the way you move , sit or stand . This leads to strength and flexibility issues , creating more trigger points . The trigger points in the neck that can cause dizziness form in the sternocleidomastoid ( SCM ) muscles . The SCM is a large muscle along the front on both sides to the neck . It is made up of two interconnected muscle bands . These muscle bands start out from the mastoid bone behind the ear . One band connects to the breastbone ( sternum ) and the other connects to the collarbone ( clavicle ) . The sternal band lies on top of the clavicle band . The primary functions of the SCM muscles are to turn the head from side to side and flex the head downward . The sternocleidomastoids also help maintain a stable position of the head during other body movements . Any position where the neck is held in an awkward position can create trigger points . Another function of the SCM muscle is to raise the breastbone when you inhale . The muscle can become overworked if you breathe with the chest , rather than with the diaphragm . The SCM also assists with chewing and swallowing . Trigger points can be created by postures that keep the SCM contracted to hold the head in position - for example , looking at a computer screen or driving . Keeping your head turned to one side or holding your head back to look up for extended periods of time , are sure to cause problems . Breathing from the chest instead of the belly can also overwork the SCM muscle . SCM trigger points are easily self - treated . The SCM muscle group can contain seven trigger points . The sternal division typically has 3 - 4 trigger points spaced out along its length , while the clavicle division has 2 - 3 trigger points . Press only hard enough that it feel comfortable and try to discriminate between the two branches . Each branch is about as big as your index finger . If you pay close attention , you should be able to feel them separately . If you find a spot that hurts , gently pinch the trigger point . Reduce the pressure until you don 't feel any pain . Once you 're below the pain threshold , slowly increase the pressure over 60 - 90 seconds . Do this on both sides , a couple of times a day . Just go easy at first , and work at a pressure level that feels good for you . For a visual demonstration , you can watch the video and learn more at the original post , linked below . All of this , right down to the 50 pound weight gain and the transition from gabapentin to lyrica , and my own detox experience off of both drugs ( HORRENDOUS ) . All of this needs to be discussed with patients before a doctor decides to put them on Lyrica because opiates are being criminalized . Lyrica helps some people , but the rest of us feel poisoned on it . I 'm so mad I let my doctor talk me into going back on it after I spent 7 months painfully and slowly detoxing off of it . My sister was about to marry her high school sweetheart , I had done everything I could to lose the fifty pounds I had gained since I had been put on Lyrica and Gabapentin for my Complex Regional Pain Syndrome . Six weeks prior to her wedding I had spent in complete bed rest and to be honest I almost didn 't go , but I dearly love my sister , and I wouldn 't miss it for the world no matter how sick I was . Turns out I was really , really sick . It was four years since my diagnosis … I know I haven 't been around in a while and I 'm very sorry , life has been so crazy and my typing and thought process so poor that I 've been taking an unintentionally long break . I have been writing every now and again , but mostly on Tumblr and Instagram , and sometimes for images I make in photoshop . Maybe I should post all those soon ? I have also written about thirty drafts on WordPress that have been eaten , gone unfinished at the last minute , or that I am too embarrassed to post right now ( and maybe ever ) . I will get back into the swing of things slowly but surely in the next month . Though I want children desperately , what I really want and desire above a biological child is to adopt . I 've always wanted to adopt . There will always be kids out there right now who need families . It seems so against my values to selfishly have a child via birth when I know there is little chance that child will not suffer like I do , and when I know that my ability to be a good parent to a very young child is never going to be strong enough . The thing is , I have a lot of love to give and knowledge to share , if not a lot of physical ability . Unfortunately , I will still struggle with very basic mom things , like shopping for clothes , or food for that matter , or taking them places at all , and cleaning isn 't getting any easier or more feasible lately though I try really hard . I 've always wanted to be the perfect mom , but I think a large part of chronic illness is accepting that even healthy people don 't live up to that , therefore I certainly won 't . I came across this article on CrowdMed today . It is written by Jean Jahoor and she meant for it to help people who are newly diagnosed with a rare disease . She did a great job and lays out instructions in an easy - to - understand and in a well - organized manner . If you put the words , ' your child ' wherever it says , ' you ' , this would be a wonderful instructional guide for when you are told that your child has a rare disease . Not only a rare disease . It would be helpful for any parent with a child with a chronic illness . It is not uncommon for to be given the wrong diagnosis at first in either case . For a child with a chronic disorder , it takes an average of eight years to finally receive a correct diagnosis . I think that if we used this information , it could possibly help us and our children to have … Myalgic Encephalomyelitis is a devastating , awful disease . In the US we have to live with labels like fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome , those dreaded wastebasket diseases that lack distinction or consensus between medical professionals . My doctors over the last three years cannot agree on what I have , what came first , but mine started with a wicked fever after a car accident during a very high stress period in my life . The fever lasted weeks and then when it died back after that initial attack , it stayed on with me at a low grade for years . If I have ME , I want to know . I certainly fit that diagnosis after all my research much more than I fit fibro . My current flare has lasted three and a half weeks , from a period of ten days where I left the house three times and overdid it badly on two of those trips . I 'm nowhere near back to where I was before those ten days . I don 't know when I will be . We need more research , more treatments , with less shame and stigma . We need a cure . May 12th is a BIG DEAL , and here is why : It 's a day for bringing more awareness to diseases like fibromyalgia , Chronic Fatigue Syndrome , rheumatoid arthritis , Lyme disease , lupus , multiple sclerosis and Crohn 's Disease , along with many others . Diseases which can have horrific , devastating effects on the person 's life , yet may not outwardly show . They can be completely disabling , and the patient still looks " normal " to the world . sign up for Ebates for FREE and get cash back on all your online purchases ! Click the picture below to sign up to get free cash back on almost any online purchase with this easy app that deposits right into your paypal account or sends you a check each month ! I appreciate your support so much . Help me afford to adapt my life around my illnesses by starting your own Free 30 - day trial of Audible or click the link and complete any regular shopping on Amazon once you 're there . I make $ 5 when you start your free 30 - day Audible trial and 4 - 6 % of every purchase made on Amazon within 24 hours of using this link . THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT ! " Disability doesn 't make you exceptional , but questioning what you think you know about it does . " - Stella Young The danger of being viewed through the lense of the " inspiring cripple " archetype is that it was created by ableists as a tool used to invalidate those who are struggling . It means that people expect things from you that you [ … ] Most Read Considering the Emergency Room ? Here Are Some Pointers to Keep in Mind if You Have Chronic Pain . The Autonomic Nervous System & Why It Matters Self Care Isn 't Found at a Store Ehlers - Danlos Syndrome Medical Emergency Information Cards In Full Flare Flare Up Fun The Long Term Effects of Chronic Pain Chronic Lessons : Then and Now How I Got Here Sleepwalking , Sleep Paralysis , & Speaking in Tongues Outward Boundpinterest . … findingout … Recent Comments Robert James Wray on Seeing PossibilityJessi Finds Out Fibr … on Ehlers - Danlos Syndrome Medical … Kelly on Considering the Emergency Room … Kelly on Considering the Emergency Room … Sky on The Long Term Effects of Chron … Stephanie on Ehlers - Danlos Syndrome Medical … VEDShottie on Considering the Emergency Room … JNW on Considering the Emergency Room … Kay on So You Want to Date a Sick … Jessi Finds Out Fibr … on I Am Not Your Inspiration : The … FOLLOW JESSI ON PINTEREST ! Newly Discovered Wordpress BlogsSite TitleUndiagnosed WarriormoderndaywarriorprincessQuinn 's CauldronHypermobility Syndrome IndiaLyme & CoiamchronicartworkbykaliNo More Silence . Speak Out Against Domestic Violence . Hannah 's Battle to Breathe Finding Out Fibro Create a free website or blog at WordPress . com . Site TitleUndiagnosed WarriorBe brave , little fighter . There 's a warrior within you . moderndaywarriorprincessBecause All Women are Princesses & are Stronger Than We Ever KnewQuinn 's CauldronThe Traditional English Witch , Rowan QuinnHypermobility Syndrome Indiainformation and narrativeLyme & CoA therapist 's journey through Lyme DiseaseiamchronicWriting Through The Tragedy And Terrible Beauty Of A Life In Chronic PainartworkbykaliNo More Silence . Speak Out Against Domestic Violence . Silence Enables Violence . Find Your Voice . Hannah 's Battle to BreatheLiving with a chronic illness : the ins and outs
|
Well , for starters , I am a much busier lady than I was when I was living on Grand Manan with not a whole lot to do besides write BUT I definitely have more than one chance every month to sit down and talk about my ( many , many ) feelings . I also have more chances than once a month to vacuum and make my bed but I didn 't do much of that either in 2015 . Deep down I know it has a lot to do with the fact that , though I wrote the least in the past two years , I had received the most negative comments on my blog in the last two years as well . As you tweet , instagram and facebook more about your blog and as more people follow your blog , the more likely it is that someone is going to disagree with you or just try to hate on what you 're saying - thats just plain ole ' statistics . But I hadn 't ever received much negativity ( by some stroke of fucking luck ) and it was hard for me , especially since it was mostly people putting words into my mouth which I found pretty unfair . Alas , I pulled up my big girl panties and moved on from that ( but Im still bitter and you are still rude ! ) Then there were , and still are , the creepy comments on and off from a reader ( or at least a person who reads my tweets and then ignores the actual message of my posts and comments regardless ) that have turned my blog from my safe haven into a place where I don 't feel comfortable to write any of my candid and outrageous thoughts or feelings . ( How 's that for a run on sentence from hell ? ) And how am I suppose to post pictures of myself or write about personal things when I know what I will be opening my account to quickly after ? Just when I am comfortable posting again , I open my account to some totally inappropriate comment waiting to be approved . It pisses me off that I 've let someone take this away from me and I 'm working on moving past it . So I haven 't been writing much this year mostly due to these reasons , but I have done a lot of work on myself . Part of me wishes I had written more and documented my journey but the fact that it happened at all is a blessing . This year I worked my ass off , at least my mental ass , to learn to be okay with myself and come to terms with who I am inside and out . Being true to myself , especially in the past couple of months , has become a serious priority to me . I wanted to write about it because if it helps or inspires one person to look inside themselves and start the journey of self love and acceptance and truth , then it will be worth the time and emotion and risk of you guys thinking I 've gone completely kookoo . I don 't mind spilling my weirdo feelings to this blog if there 's some sort of good that comes from it - the feels will be felt regardless ! I 've spent most of my life feeling pretty inadequate , unattractive and a tad stupid . The moments when I felt like I may just be pretty or enough were usually alcohol induced , social media induced or the 3 days where some idiot acted like he liked me . As much as I declared , or even believed that it didn 't , my own opinion of myself depended on others opinions of me - friends , peers , relatives , boys , teachers . . anyone really . I did the " I dont care what people think " thing for a long time in high school and after but I totally cared and still do to a certain degree . After years of diets and tears and more diets and even more tears , I started to come around to the idea that maybe being skinny wasn 't the answer to all lifes questions and sadness . Maybe , just maybe , I could be happy and even learn to like myself if I wasn 't thin or pretty or smart . . if I was just plain ole ' me . I think the fabulous movements being pioneered by people like Tess Holiday and Whitney Thore really helped inspire me to look beyond my obvious weight ' problem ' . It started with following a lot of very strong , independent , motivated , passionate , smart women through twitter , blogs and instagram women who loved everything good and bad about themselves and without apology . I started to discover so many plus size women who were proud of their bodies and who were sassy and fabulous and it became something I aspired to be . I hate to say that I woke up one day and decided to be fabulous but it does sort of feel that way . I came to a big realization : my feelings about myself are completely in my own hands . I get to choose if I love myself , I get to choose if I feel pretty , I get to choose if I feel h a p p y - at least for the most part . I hate to admit it but I honestly had been waiting for some guy to come sweep me off my feet and I thought Id just automatically start loving myself and feel beautiful . I was living in a dream world - I needed to love myself first , not wait for someone to give me the fucking go ahead . Ironically , almost any guy I met in the last couple of years had made me feel worse because I attracted men who didn 't respect me because of my own lack of self respect . So I started working on myself because it turns out that 's where it all starts . I knew I had to do it for me and without anyone else 's approval or help . I wanted to truly believe it and see the good in myself . I knew it would take some time but the fact that I have awesome family and friends who see good in me pushed me to find it for myself . ( I seriously cant thank the people who love me enough . ) I know it sounds silly but I started giving myself serious pep talks . I would often strip naked , look in the mirror and tell myself I was beautiful and worthy and I did it over and over and over and I still do it , especially when I 'm feeling not so fierce . Fake it til you make it people . I started buying clothes that made me feel good and I didn 't buy clothes that " girls like me " should wear to hide the undesirable parts of myself . I bought whatever I thought was cute and wanted to rock . I took pictures of myself and I immersed myself into the plus size instagram diva pool and disregarded anyone who thought I was using too many hashtags . It felt good to be a part of something so positive and other peoples confidence was totally contagious . Now - I know that being and / or feeling beautiful is not the most important thing in the world . The first part of my journey had a lot to do with feeling good about the outside and I realize that 1 ) this is not important to everyone and b ) feeling good about who you are on the inside is equally , if not way more important than being down with how fabulous you are on the outside . If you don 't care about being or feeling like a sexy lady or man , that 's totally reasonable - I just personally enjoy feelin ' like a sexy lady and this is my blog so I wrote about it . I believe you need to find what makes you feel good about you , what gives you purpose and pride and then hone in on it and work on flexin ' that muscle . It was important to me to feel cool with my body and in my own skin so it was certainly a focus when I started this journey and will be something I always strive to feel good about . Like I said though , there 's lot 's of work to do on the inside too and I do know that and value that . I have definitely taken some steps that I 'm super proud of . My big issue is , and has been , that sometimes I don 't feel worthy - worthy of being treated well or finding a nice guy or having the things I want or worthy of feeling all this lovin ' Im trying to have for myself . I 'd be a liar if I said that I haven 't had a ton of weak moments - those are always going to happen . Do I have bad days ? Absolutely . I have days where I look in the mirror and just cry because I can 't think of one fucking thing that is good about myself and I wonder if anyone is ever going to love me ( most of these days are period induced . . I am a wild woman before my period ) But I rise above that shit because there 's no use in feeling that way about myself when I have to live life as Bailey , in this body for the rest of my life . What good does it do to wallow in self pity ? So that 's why when I do the ole naked affirmations I tell myself I am worthy - because we are all worthy of happiness and love . We deserve to see the good in ourselves and we deserve to be privy to the beautiful imperfections we possess . A large part of discovering and evolving my own self worth is being the best me possible . It is important to me , going into 2016 , to start working towards being a version of myself that is aligned with who I would like to be - the best version of me . This includes being kinder to myself and to others , working harder , creating goals and working towards them , focusing on my important relationships , being generous , lifting people up , removing myself from toxic situations and relationships and hopefully getting really nice eyebrows at some point ( very crucial to being a great me ) . I 'd also like to work on being a little stronger and maybe not so sensitive ( but I don 't see that happening in the near future lol ) . In order to make my life a little more positive , I 've had to make room for it . I have tried to start doing things that I am so not used to doing such as standing up for myself , being a little more strict on who I let into my life - specifically men who I 'm interested in dating and letting friendships that maybe weren 't serving me or the other person anymore fade away instead of wasting energy into keeping them alive . I have realized it 's not selfish to surround yourself with people who are good for you and who you are good for - its healthy . Standing up for myself , other people and what is right is something I hope to focus more on going into 2016 as well . I realize that not everyone is going to be supportive of how I evolve as a person . The people who I love and love me back , who support me and are down with the person I am and will become will be around and I hope to attract and meet even more people who will be healthy and compatible for me and my journey as a person . The people who aren 't ? Well they will just naturally grow apart from me if I haven 't told them to leave me the fuck alone before it happens naturally . I 've decided that this is cool with me and though sometimes it can suck a bit , its generally for the best . In summation , after this very long speech , I just want anyone reading this to know that its all up to you . The power lies within you - how you feel about yourself , how you let people make you feel . . its up to you ! Yes , you are going to hurt and be hurt , we are human after all . You can let yourself drown in it or you can have your moment of being hurt and then rise above it . Most importantly , you deserve to rise above the shitty things that happen , and maybe even the shitty things that you do . You deserve to grow as a person , you deserve to move on , you deserve to feel worthy because you ARE worthy and you deserve to feel happiness . We all do and the power to do so lies within us . And YES I know I sound like a bit of a hippy on a wild trip but I 'm a hippy who is cool with herself and loves herself and is able to love everyone else more because of it . Life is still going to be shitty and bad things are going to happen but these things are so much easier to deal with when you are right with yourself and you 've found yourself worthy of surrounding yourself with good people to help you through those shitty times . I 'm willing to sound crazy to some in order to provoke a powerful realization in others . People are gonna know I 'm a little crazy anyway , it may as well be for a purpose . So that 's where I 'm at as we enter the new year . I think New Years Resolutions are a little silly and we rarely stick to them but I do think it 's a great time of year to feed off the energy of possible change and evolution and if you wanna hop on the train to a better , stronger , more confident , smart etc you , its a great time of year to do so ! There is no time like the present . Please Stop Asking Why I Dont Date White Men If that title didn 't get you here , I don 't know what would . I 've always wanted to write this post but it 's kind of a weird and touchy subject so I never tackled it . After the same " Why don 't you give a white guy a chance " conversation 3 times in one week , I decided it was time . The running joke about me is that I like brown guys . If you 're in my friend circle or we are acquaintances you probably know this or have heard one of my friends crack a joke about it . I 've never been in a relationship with a white guy and every time I have a date my mother asks me where he 's from . It 's just the way it goes . Here 's some fun facts about me : My first kiss was when I was 17 , I 've only had one real relationship and to this day I just do not have luck with men . I joke around that men hate me but I 've always felt like there 's a bit of truth to it - I repel them . I never had boys who liked me in high school and now I don 't have much luck either . I don 't know if it 's me , if its the way I look or if it 's a sexy combination of the two but my luck with men is non existent . When I graduated I took a trip to Guatemala to volunteer in an Orphanage for a couple of months . My life totally changed there when I discovered among many things that men did not in fact hate me , at least not in Latin America and that some men even thought I was , GASP , pretty . It was mind blowing . Living in a country where I was getting attention from men was exhilarating and overwhelming . I had a lot of fun and made some mistakes and learned some lessons that I would not have had I been living on Grand Manan . When I came home I went back to being plain old me and worked until I could go on a trip again . Meanwhile I met Mark and moved in with him a couple years later . Since my break up with Mark I 've met a lot of men who were raised in different societies and have different definitions of what beautiful is . Mark never thought I was beautiful and I always felt as if he simply tolerated my body - it was made clear I wasn 't exactly what he wanted through out our relationship . Being exposed to men who don 't necessarily see my body as disgusting but beautiful has been a confidence builder and has helped me come to love and appreciate my body for what it is - it took a long time and a lot of hard work to get to this place . I had always seen my body as something to be put up with - maybe a man could love me through it - and now I see it as something to be celebrated . That 's a big deal . Up until recently I had been made to feel like I was disgusting which is so not okay - no one should ever feel that way , no matter what ! So here is why I want to stop being asked why I don 't date white men : because white men don 't date me . I am a very open minded person and I would go on a date with almost anyone who asked politely and seemed genuine . It 's actually kind of offensive when people ask me why I only date black guys or why I don 't date white men . White men don 't even notice I 'm alive let alone ask me on dates - they bump into me because they don 't notice I 'm there or they notice who I 'm with and talk to me as a way to talk to a girlfriend . This is fine . . but I don 't like being treated like I shut someone out when there 's never been an opportunity there to give it a chance . I don 't know why it is this way and I don 't know if I care . I think there 's a lot of stigma around dating girls who aren 't thin and I 'm living in a tiny city with limited options and close minded people . My dating pool is tiny . . more like a kiddy dating pool but not in a weird way . It is what it is . Right now absolutely no one is asking me out but if they were , their race or height or weight etc would be irrelevant . I want to meet someone who is ambitious and hard working and funny and who treats me with respect - if you meet this criteria and you 're purple , I 'll give it a go . So in summation , yes , I 've hung around a lot of guys who were not Caucasian and yes , I kind of prefer tall , dark and handsome men . If a tall , dark , handsome man thought you were beautiful and was chasing you - making you feel desired - you wouldn 't be turning it down either , I promise . But that doesn 't mean " I dont date white men " it means someone else put them self out there and I obliged . If you 've asked me this question and are now wondering if it offended me - don 't worry about it . It 's a running joke that I actively participate in . What you can do is set me up with a nice guy you know and all will be forgiven . Hello blogosphere friends and real life friends alike who support my blog - I really love you guys and I don 't tell you enough ! I am a lucky gal - I have such a good group of people behind me at all times and I know how blessed I am . Thank you ! I really am trying to do this blog thing more often and I 'm impressed I 'm writing again only 11 days after my last post instead of 11 weeks . Writing is some serious therapy for me and I always feel more content after I 've made some time to do it . Today I just wanted to write a post of what 's been going on and how my life is going these days . As a follow up to my last post , I am still on the " find a guy who respects me " track and I 'm quite proud of myself . Do I think I 'm any closer to finding myself a guy who 's good for me ? No , not really . But I haven 't had to deal with any bullshit in over a month and that part is totally worth it . Avoiding men who are bad for me is almost as good as finding one who is good for me . I 'm lonely and I could use a cuddle but I 'm doing alright ! I 'm honestly too busy most of the time to think about being lonely . I don 't think I really touched on this in a previous blog but I am now working two jobs . I 'm still full time at Vitos but about 5 months ago I applied for a part time job at SensationO - a local store that specializes in sex toys , lingerie , etc . Although my interview went great , the job was ultimately given to someone with more experience ( now that I know her , she totally deserved it - shes amazing . ) A couple of months later in June , they called to offer me a part time position as a different girl was leaving and they were in a bind . I nervously accepted ! The job has been awesome for me in many ways . For one thing , it is extremely educational - there is a lot to learn . I was previously in a relationship that was complicated and instead of empowering me as a sexual being , shamed me for being one . This job has been a part of a healing process for me as that relationship left me a little fucked up and I am grateful for the opportunity to work there . It is a great change in pace - it is much more laid back than waiting on people at the restaurant . Although it keeps me extremely busy , I am happy to be working both places and I can pay all my bills which is quite lovely . I would also like to mention that the store is amazing - if you live in the area you need to stop in if you haven 't already . If you prefer to go when I 'm not there for privacy , or if you 'd feel more comfortable with someone you know , feel free to ask me what my hours are . This should go without saying but what happens in the store stays in the store - I would never repeat who i see in there outside of the store . It 's not my style to do that nor is it my business and I truly love my job there and would not risk it . My other big life news is that I am back on weight watchers as of two weeks ago . I 'm one of those people who needs to have a breaking point - I can start every day for months but until I have a point where I just decide I 'm all in , it 's not going to work . I recently had my breaking point where it just kind of clicked and I decided I 'd go join with two of my friends . For the first time it 's a much more relaxed and casual decision . I wasn 't laying in a pile of cake and cookies half naked crying over my stomach rolls - I just knew that it was a logical decision . Basically , I am trying to slowly lose weight over the next year in time for my best friends wedding and weight watchers works . My goal is to lose 50 lbs by August so about 1 pound a week which is pretty attainable . I really have about 80lbs to lose to be at a healthy weight but I 'm just starting to love my body as it is and I don 't really feel the need to be super skinny - I just want to feel a little better and look nice for Tams wedding . My first week I did what I wanted to do and lost 1 . 3lbs . Normally on your first week you have a big loss but my first weigh in was the day after I got over that crazy stomach flu that was going around so I knew I was already down a couple pounds . I was happy with 1 . 3 and I 'll be happy with 1 . 3 any week as long as its not a gain . I went yesterday for my second weigh in and lost 5 . 1 which was pretty exciting . I had a really good week and I 'm working hard so it was kind of fun to see it pay off . After my weigh in , it was extremely fun to have my cheat day . On tuesdays , I don 't track and I try to have something sweet and eat something I 've been craving . I had pasta at lunch and it was divine then after work last night Josh and I got A & W and ice cream and it was absolutely magical . Today I 'm back on track though and looking forward to next Tuesday . Any suggestions for what I should eat ? ( No More ) Sex and The City I 've recently began watching Sex and the City from start to finish . Although I would consider it one of my favorite shows and I 've seen most of the episodes before now ( many several times as well as the movies over and over and over ) , I 've never actually watched them in order from start to finish . When my roommate moved in , she brought with her an apple tv type machine that plays series and shows and movies from her computer and luckily , SATC was on the playlist . I 'm learning a lot from watching the episodes consecutively - it 's like the show was written for me to enjoy , relate to and learn from . I 'm a young , 20 something , surrounded by great girlfriends , looking for relationship , having sex , getting screwed over and breaking a few hearts along the way - it 's extremely close to home for me . OH - and I live in a city ! What I 'm noticing and taking particular interest in though , is the struggle for these women to find good relationships . Although it may just be specific to dating in New York during that time , not just dating in general , I always thought only modern dating was as complicated as it is . I figured that women used to have it easy because men were willing to commit and were decent human beings before cellphones , tinder , snapchat , pof etc came into play . Turns out that at least in New York during the new millennium ( and on a tv show ) , dating was still super fucking shitty . I haven 't decided if this makes me feel better or worse . I think it makes me feel better . Maybe dating is just always going to be a hellish experience . It 's quite a feat to find two people who work perfectly together and actually both like each other ! Dating is nerve wracking , it shakes your confidence and makes you insecure . It 's a lot of bullshit and heart ache and stupid decisions - which I find is true for life in general - and that 's okay because life isn 't perfect and if it was we 'd all be bored . People do fall in love though . It may not be easy but people fall in love , and they have happy relationships and sometimes they get married and / or they live happily ever after without the marriage part . And sometimes they get divorced and that 's life - rarely do we get things right on the first try . What I 'm getting at is that people have been getting married for years and meeting people and falling in love and somehow getting past that in between part where you 're just constantly dating and meeting people who don 't work for you and wondering if you 're ever going to fucking get it right . It 's funny because when I was first writing this post ( it has taken me a couple of weeks to spit it out ) I was just starting this new phase of being someone who isn 't dating . Now I 'm this awesome place that I 've wanted to be in for so long and I 've tried to be in but couldn 't quite get there . I 'm not dating , I 'm not looking to date and I 'm making a conscious effort to shut down the guys who are wasting my time or who call me at all hours of the night to " hang out " . It has been struggle - I enjoy boys , I enjoy cuddles , I enjoy sex . Buuuuut , I enjoy feeling good about myself and feeling like I 'm a strong , independent woman who respects herself enough to not spend time with guys who don 't respect her . I 've discovered that in order to meet guys who actually like me , I need to free up my time and stop spending it with guys who don 't like me . I 've finally started standing up to guys who I know are up to no good and saying " See Ya Later " whereas before I was afraid to say it because I knew they 'd listen . Now I just want them to leave me the fuck alone . This choice is kind of a lonely one but I feel better about it every day . I know that by saying I 'm not going to hang out with guys who don 't respect me or like me I 'm unfortunately and sadly admitting that I 'm just not going to be hanging around any guys . This sucks but so does being treated like a piece of trash - I 'm choosing the option with the least suck . I 'm not saying I 'm never again going to hook up with someone who isnt on his way to being my husband but for now this is whats happening and what 's workin ' . I 'm still open to meeting a good guy but I 'm just trying to be less lenient on my definition of " good guy " because pretty much everyone was acing that extremely easy test up until recently . No more . A big shout out to Carrie Bradshaw for awakening the writer who lives deep within me ! Although re - watching the series has made me see shes a little more narcissistic than I had once thought , it really opened me up to writing again and I have her to thank . It has definitely been a while . Not only am I quite busy on a daily basis but as you can see I 'm sorting through some deep shit and trying to work on some " me stuff " . As much as Id like to keep up with that on the blog , I think I mostly just need to focus on actually doing the work and writing about it will come with time . I do hope to write more often though because it just feels so damn good . Tonight for the first time in a month , I logged onto POF . Let me start by saying I 've logged back onto POF many times after many hiatuses . I 've had multiple accounts ( at different times ) and whenever I deleted them , I knew deep downit was a " I need a break . . . for now " kind of deal . In the past 2 years I 've talked to hundreds and hundreds of men between POF and Tinder and if we 're being totally honest , I maybe talked to 10 decent human beings . So tonight when I logged on , it was to delete my account and to delete it for good . The last time I logged onto POF before tonight , like I said , was maybe a little over a month ago . I had met a guy I was interested in who seemed to be pursuing me more than any other guy I 'd met recently . Once we went to text , I really had no need for POF anymore . When things went south with us after a couple of dates I was exhausted and didn 't feel the need or have the energy to sign on and meet any more guys who were totally wrong for me . So I didn 't . I continued to chat with a couple of guys who I had met on POF but hadn 't gone on dates with . One guy in particular , who seemed way too good looking to be on POF let alone be interested in me , paid an out of the ordinary amount of attention to me . He was dull and superficial but I thought he was hot and it was nice to feel pretty so I continued to talk to him and question him straight up if he really was who he said he was . After searching and searching and searching , I finally proved what I had thought all along : I was being cat fished . That was a breaking point for me : I could never subject myself to this POF bullshit again . I deleted the app on my phone and had not logged on until tonight . I went on today just to make it final . To delete that account . . to have nothing to go to when Im feeling lonely and desperately single . And believe me . . I feel desperate . I 'm crazy lonely and in a place where I want to commit to someone and have a ( healthy ) relationship . Fortunately and unfortunately for me , whichever way you choose to see it , my standards are quite high when it comes to the guy I want to be in relationship with . There 's no men in general knocking down my door for a date but if there were , I wouldn 't be choosing just anyone who looked at me twice . I 'm not being picky . . I just want to avoid wasting mine or anyone else 's time . I 'm ready for a healthy relationship with a decent guy . Yes , I want a guy with a job . Yes , I want a guy who can provide for himself - I 'll take care of me , you take care of you . Yes , I want to be pursued and taken on a fucking date for once ! I 'll even pay half . I don 't know if men are afraid to be seen with me in public or think they can just get into my pants without any effort but I have been on very few actual dates . . do other people go on dates ? Is this a thing ? ! Sorry guys , you 're not gettin up in this the first night you make time to sit on your couch and hang out with me . Take me on a couple dates for fucks sakes . . put some back into it . I deleted POF because I 'm not going to meet the kind of guy Im looking for on there . There may be some good guys on POF , that 's not what I 'm saying , I 'm just no good at attracting them ! I 'm also not saying that you can 't meet the guy you 're looking for but I am saying that if you DO meet a decent guy or gal who is compatible with you and meets your standards through POF or Tinder - you , my friend , are the fucking EXCEPTION . Ever seen ' He 's Just Not That Into You ' ? I have a couple hundred times . I have to watch it often to remind myself not to text guys who don 't ever text me because if they wanted to see me , they 'd text me and they 'd make it happen . And it also teaches me in a twisted way that yes , people find great women and men on POF and Tinder and even at the bar but they are exceptions to the rule . . and I am not . I want to meet someone organically and people just don 't do that anymore . I am holding out hope though . . I will eventually meet a good guy , however it is we are suppose to meet , and I 'm not going to be using POF or Tinder to meet him . I am more lonesome than I 've ever been . . I admitted tonight at work that I 'd go on a date with the 17 year old take out boy . This is not an excuse to give into POF just because 50 men would messge me tonight when I made a profile and make me feel a little better for half a second . Those 50 men would probably suck and Id be right back where I started . So that 's why I deleted POF and why I will remain single and lonely for the next couple months or years or decades . . who fuckin knows ? ! I don 't . But I know Im actually saving myself a lot of time , emotions and even heart ache by ditching POF . Now , if you use it and enjoy it . . no worries . I 'm not dissing you and you do your thang - everyone has a different experience . But would I recommend it to people my age ? Not really . . not if you 're looking for anything real . Thats just me . . Suzi Storm and Gold Jeans Here I am again , at my workplace , stealing the wifi to get some writing in . I 've had a couple bad days over the past week or so and I knew I had to come in and decompress . I 'm not in a place where I really feel like going into details but I guess I 've just been really lonely and down and writing usually helps me feel better . Today I read a post by one of my favorite weight loss bloggers , Suzi Storm . I started reading her blog a couple years ago when she was losing 101 lbs with Weight Watchers . Since then I 've followed her as she gained 100 + back , is now re - losing ( shes lost over 90lbs ! ) and oh yeah , she has been sober for over a year now . She 's a huge inspiration to me as I have lost , gained , relost , regained . . . you get the idea . ( Re ) losing is kind of a contradiction at the same time though . The biggest part of ( re ) losing is letting go of the past . Letting go of where you were and accepting where you are right now . It 's not focusing so much on where you want to be ( which ideally is right back where you were ) but where you are at that moment and how to make the next moment better . " This was something I needed to read and a way I have to start thinking of my reloss journey . I get caught up thinking about two things 1 ) Where I used to be and 2 ) How far I have to go . Lately some pictures have been popping up of when I weighed a lot less than I do now and I see now how good I looked and how happy I was . At that time I just wanted to keep losing and now I 'd do anything to be that weight and maintain there . Getting to that point again is going to be a struggle and I find how far I have to go to be a bit overwhelming . When I started eating healthy again I was super casual about it and I 've let myself become obsessive over it again and I need to not . Suzi is right . I need to let go of where I used to be and just focus on how I can be better right now and work towards being better in the future . Weight loss feels slow and like a waste of time sometimes when you don 't see the scale move but deep down I know it 's worth it and I have to keep working hard . The truth is that I look in the mirror and know I look different , I feel better and in the end the hard work does pay off . . I just need to be patient . Today I started week 4 of the Couch to 5k program . I keep thinking it 's going to get easier but it doesn 't - it just keeps getting more hellish . I 've said it on here before and I 'll say it again - I am so not a runner . When I say that and when I talk about how miserable running makes me everyone tells me to go to zumba or try a different machine . While that is certainly the best piece of advice there is for my problem , I can 't help but stick to running . Running does wonderful things to my body and it makes me feel strong . I know that eventually I 'll be in a place where going for a run is therapeutic and not a torture session but getting to that place is a pain in my ass . . . and thighs , back , shins and calves . As far as food goes , I eat pretty well . I generally stay away from junk food completely which is good stuff . Honestly though , it would be much more respectable if I was a super big junk food person buI bought some goal jeans a couple week ago when I was shopping . It started out as " They only have these jeans in too small or too big for me , God Damnit " and became " these will be my goal jeans and I will have a way to track my progress without using the scale " They are a size 14 and I 'm a 16 / 18 so it 's something realistic to work towards . Funny note : for the past two weeks my cousin thought i was saying " Gold Pants " though which I find hilarious . Here is me in my " gold " pants : I love these jeans and I can 't wait to wear them but I have 15 - 20lbs ( maybe more ) to go Id say before I can button them . My unrealistic goal is to fit into them when I go to see my best friend in Vancouver but that is in just under 7 weeks and it would take a miracle . . but I do believe in miracles ! My question for you guys is this : how do you combat being obsessive over the scale , counting calories and / or points or even being obsessive over exercise ? I can usually tell if Im being obsessive but I dont know how to stop myself . Any ideas ? Thanks guys ! Hello friends - its been a while , I know . A large reason I haven 't been writing is the fact that I have no wifi . I don 't open up my laptop and start typing very often anymore and Im not one to write using pen and paper so it just doesn 't happen . I 've had the urge , believe me . . just haven 't done it . Honestly though , a huge reason I think I stopped writing was because I subconsciously put up a huge wall after receiving an insane negative comment on a blog I posted a couple of weeks before I stopped writing . When I freely put my thoughts , opinions and feelings out there I have to accept that some people may not always like it or agree and will go as far as commenting negatively and letting me know just how much they don 't like it . That 's just how it goes . For the most part though , that hadn 't ever happened yet and I 've had this blog since high school . People are good to me - they comment and encourage me and blogging has been an awesome experience . When I received this particular comment I think it took me by surprise and made me pull back . For a while I worried everyone or at least a portion of people felt the way this person felt and that I should no longer write about my life and experiences and opinions because it was just whiny and negative . The thing is though . . this is my blog and if I want to write about things that suck in my life , I will , and it 's totally okay if no one reads it . If you don 't like it , don 't read it . Please , for the love of god , don 't read it and complain about it if you dont like it ! Just go away . Writing is my therapy - writing about things that hurt or bother me is how I deal with them best . The reason I post and share is because I 've found that people relate and understand to a lot of what I 'm saying and sometimes its nice to not feel so alone when you 're hurt and bothered by shit . It took me too long to realize I have to write anyway , even if people don 't like it , but I get it now and I am going to try to write more often . : ) During my little hiatus not much has changed in my day to day life . I 've been working a ton , my roommate sadly moved out , I don 't drink very often anymore as I 'm quite busy with work and I spend as much time with friends and family as I can . My love life is definitely the same but I am trying hard to not worry about boys and focus on being a version of me that I can really like and appreciate and I figure a dude might be able to like and appreciate me more when I can . I did hang out with a really lovely guy last week and it would be nice if that went somewhere as I felt a nice little click with us . It was really nice to just hang out with a guy who I could talk to and be comfortable around . . and he ended up being a pretty good kisser too . But I 'm going with the flow and if it doesn 't happen , it doesn 't and its all good . Unfortunately this winter I found out that my dad has been diagnosed with Cancer . At first this was scary for me after seeing so many of my friends struggling with the heartbreak of having sick family this year . I knew it was coming - we were prepared that this was a possibility but you 're never truly prepared to hear your dad tell you he has cancer . Fortunately , it 's an early stage , low risk cancer and at this point the oncologist has decided to wait it out before taking action with treatments . We are all hopeful and positive and I trust things will be okay because I really don 't know what else I 'm suppose to do at this point . Life has been a little funky for me lately . It is definitely not a bad life - I am blessed and I know that I 'm just going through a bad stage . I just feel a little stuck and work has been draining me a bit , both physically and emotionally . I 'm trying my best to pull myself out of it and I 'm feeling positive that May will be a great month and June will be even better . May is a ton of exciting celebrations - birthdays and baby showers and the celebration of warm weather of course . Then in June 2 new babies will be coming into my life and I finally have a trip planned to visit my best friend in Vancouver . I am over the moon excited for this trip - I am counting down the days and I get giddy if I talk about it too much so I 'll stop . For now , I wake up every morning and try to go into my days with a good attitude . I 'm eating healthy and have been back at the gym doing the Couch to 5k program and I 'm feeling good . I 've lost 12 lbs and that 's pretty nice too . Going through ruts is easier when you 're at least trying to feel your best to make life a little better and I really am trying . : ) So that 's where I 've been at in my head and what I 've been doing . I feel a weight off my shoulders just having written this so that goes to show that I really do need to write more often . For now I 'm off to make a grocery list , hit up the gym then fill my fridge with something other than ketchup and plum sauce . . classic . Why Whitney Thore Is My Spirit Animal If you don 't know who Whitney Thore is you need to get the hell off my blog . . . just kidding . But you seriously need to go check out My Big Fat Fabulous Life on TLC or at least watch a trailer to catch a glimpse of this inspiring creature . If you do know who she is or have now checked her out . . . please continue and don 't get the hell off my blog . Before MBFFL premiered on TLC I had seen Whitneys viral video floating around . From the minute you see footage of her you can feel her energy - she 's intense and amazing . Honestly , her and I are different in a lot of ways and I might even find her a little obnoxious if I didn 't have this crazy girl crush on her . Either way , her spirit is inspiring and contagious and there 's this fire about her that is just undeniable whether you like her or not . I am convinced that all girls out there who struggle with their weight , with self love and body image issues and feel held back when it comes to dating , shopping etc are going to love Whitney once introduced to her and this show if they are currently hiding under rocks and haven 't seen it . MBFFL covers so many of the issues that I have personally faced as an overweight woman and she is a very empowering lady and role model . She is suffering from a disease she can 't control ( PCOS ) and fighting like hell to love herself regardless and get as healthy as possible . Watching her kick ass and take names makes you want to fight too . Something Whitney touched on this week during MBFFL was feeling like a fetish . This is something I have struggled with a little and I totally knew where she was coming from . I find it very hard to find guys who are attracted to me and that could be because I 'm ugly but I mostly think it 's because of my weight . When guys are attracted to me it 's wonderful and awesome but when it 's this weird like " oh you 're big and fat and I wanna rub my dick in your fat creases " kind of attraction , shit gets weird and all of a sudden I feel like an object and not an attractive , desirable woman . Being a fetish is not something I want to be . Everyone falls into a fetish category - there is literally fetishes for everything - but its not something I 'm particularly comfortable exploiting myself as . I want someone to be attracted to me for me or just because they think I 'm beautiful or sexy because of not only the way I look but the way my personality radiates and fills their life with sunshine ( yeah . . a girl can dream ) . Ideally a future boyfriend would be cool if I lose weight and cool if I gain weigh as long as I stay true to the girl he fell for in the first place . Unfortunately I have had an experience with a guy who told me he liked me but if I lost weight he wouldn 't really be attracted to me anymore and he would prefer for me to gain weight if possible . Most girls are probably like , " right on , stop complaining and bring on the cake , " and i do love cake but to me it was a red flag . This situation for me is no different than someone telling someone to lose weight to be attractive which most people would find a bit offensive . So why wouldn 't it be offensive to be told to gain weight , no matter the persons original weight ? No Booze January in Review Well guys , I made it ! Today is February 1st and I made it through a month without drinking . I know for many people it 's no big deal but for me , it 's pretty damn impressive . I honestly had no idea whether I would make it or not and I 'm quite surprised and proud of myself for doing so . In the past two years and specifically the past year , I 've been doing a lot of drinking and a lot of partying . I honestly don 't know if I went more than 2 weeks without a drink in the past 3 years and it just became a lifestyle for me . I felt like I had to go out every weekend , I had to always be on the go and it was eventually just habitual for me to go out , just because , not for any particular reason . I was at the point where if I was stressed , drinking instantly helped and I craved it all the time . I would plan not to go out but then work would be crazy and we would all go out after . The question was rarely , " Are we going out ? " but " Are you coming out with me ? " and I 'd be looking around for someone to come out with me , convincing everyone I knew to join the fun . And believe me , I was having lots of fun , but maybe a little too much . Am I an alcoholic ? I no longer think so because I made it through the last month without too much trouble but I certainly have tendencies and can see how it could be my future if I 'm not careful which is part of the reason I took the month off . Other reasons included how broke I am and the fact that I was spending up to $ 400 a month on drinking . Had I not given it up , I never would 've made it through this month as money is SO tight for me currently . I chose the right month , financially , for sure . I was kind of hoping not drinking ( and not taking part in 3am pizza and hangover food ) would take a couple lbs off but honestly I don 't think it did . What it did do was give me more time and energy to go to the gym and commit to healthy eating . Over the last month I lost about 6 . 5lbs which is better than nothing but like I 've mentioned , the scale isn 't something I 'm majorly concerned with . The best part of taking the month off was just feeling better . I felt generally happier , more energized and confident in the past month . I felt proud of myself and it was really nice making my mom proud because it 's something I feel I rarely do . I was able and willing to go to the gym , I was never binge eating on hangover food and then feeling like hell for 2 days , my quality of life was simply better . Has the month inspired me to stop drinking permanently ? Lets be real - that was never going to happen . The point of it though , was to get back to a place where drinking is something you do for special occasions instead of something you do 3 times a week and I feel I 'm definitely back in a mindset like that . For example , last night I was suppose to host a party for my friends birthday but because of the storm we didn 't . I could 've had a couple of drinks of the vodka thats been sitting in my freezer sine NYE but I didnt - even after a long 31 days of not drinking . It really wasn 't worth it to just sit at home and drink and that 's a really good start . I want to be someone who drinks 2 or maybe 3 times a month not 2 or 3 times a week and before it wasn 't even something I wanted so thats progress right there . I want to thank all of my friends who were so supportive over the last month . They could 've tried to force me to come out and drink but everyone was respectful and awesome about it . I kept busy and worked a lot and only had one tiny weak moment where I almost gave in compared to the 10 I thought I would have . The month seemed very long as it went but now that it 's over I feel like I could do another month . . . but who am I kidding ? ; ) Have you ever quit drinking , smoking , fast food or something that was extremely hard for you ? How did it work out ? Let me know in the comments . If you read my blog you know that at the first of the month I decided to try to do a boy free month along with quitting booze . Drinking and partying leads me to meeting a large number of the guys I happen to meet so it was much easier than it would 've been had I been partying . For the most part I stayed boy free - I didn 't go on dates with any new guys but I did hang out with one guy who I 'd previously hung out with and had sex a couple of times ( not with that guy ) as I am human after all . What led me to attempting a boy free month was a list that I had made at the end of 2014 . I met a lot of guys in 2014 , being in a new city surrounded by men who I had never met felt like I had unlimited possibilities . I thought I was going to move here and find the love of my life to be totally honest . I was used to being surrounded by guys who I had known all my life and who had all previously dated one of my friends . There was literally no chance of me dating in my hometown so when I moved here I went a little crazy and met and kissed a lot of boys . Unfortunately none of these guys ever had any interest in me beyond hanging out a couple times and I just kept getting screwed over . By the end of the year i had a list of 21 guys ( those are just the ones who stuck out to me ) I had met who had screwed me over in some way or screwed someone else over by hanging out with me . There was the guy who I wrote about on my blog who chased me like I was some sort of dream girl and a couple months later it came out he had a serious girlfriend . There was the guy who planned to come see me 3 times and each time he stopped talking to me the week he was coming instead of just cancelling our plans like someone with character would . The guy who came to town and pretty much ruined my birthday - yeah , we never spoke again . Then there was the guy who would hang out with me , we would get along great , and once we hooked up he didnt speak to me for 6 months . Then I gave him a second chance , and didnt hook up with him , and he hasn 't spoken to me since - damned if I do , damned if I dont . The whole year was filled with guys like this . Guys who stopped talking to me because I wouldn 't have sex with them , guys who stopped talking to me because I did have sex with them , guys who weren 't honest about their relationship status , guys who would beg me to hang out then ignore me and even a guy who used me for money and rides and a guy who was pretty upfront about not being okay with my weight . By the end of the year I was emotionally exhausted from this and thus began No Boys January . I would like to add that I 'm not perfect and I probably hurt a few guys feelings along the way too but 21 guys and not a single boyfriend ? Fuck ! Right now I 'm in a good place as far as being single and being okay with it . I don 't want to date anyone or try to because I 'm tired of getting my hopes up and being let down . Most of these guys have been a huge waste of my time and though I 've learned some things in the past year , I 'm cool with not wasting time and emotion on guys who 's names I 'll likely forget by next year . If someone came along who felt like a good idea AND gave me a bit of spark that 'd be exciting but it 's not something im waiting for or expecting to happen soon or ever . I will go with the flow though . Sometimes I wonder if I 'll ever be in a healthy relationship or even be able to accept love from someone who treats me well because I haven 't ever had a strong , healthy relationship . I feel as though I cant find anyone because maybe I don 't deserve a nice guy and I just scare them all off . Mark and I loved each other very much but it was not healthy , especially in the end and I knew it wasn 't what I wanted for the rest of my life . With all these guys ditching me and treating me like crap I find myself fearing that every guy I meet will see whatever it is these guys found wrong with me and run away . Im at the point where I don 't want to give even the nice guys a chance because the disappointment when it fails is miserable . I have definitely got to stop letting every bad experience reflect on me though . Yes , I will not be everyone 's cup of tea , hell I won 't be most peoples cup of tea , but some of these guys are just assholes . They weren 't ever going to be good boyfriend material for me and some of them will never be good boyfriend material for anyone . This is their own problem and has shit all to do with me and who I am as a person . My cousin said something yesterday that made me think , she said " you never know what a guy has going on " and it was something that has been resonating with me . Just because a guy ditches me , isn 't into me or whatever else doesn 't necessarily mean there 's something wrong with me , or that he 's an asshole . It 's not always about me . It just means its not the right timing for him and he could have a whole shit load of stuff going on in his own life that 's keeping him from dating in general , not just from dating me . For now I 'm sticking to this no guy thing . I am talking to a couple of guys and if it develops into something then great . If a different guy comes along and he 's fabulous , great . Not liking anyone feels great though and not chasing anyone feels even more great . Working out , eating healthier and not wasting time on people ( generally , not just guys ) who are not a positive force in my life is so good for my soul and I feel really good these days . Taking time to focus on my health , both physical and mental / emotional is important and I think I 'll be in a better place to find a healthy relationship if I 'm healthy in other areas of my life . In your experience , have you found that love comes along when you least expect it ? Or are you someone who chases love until its yours ? Do you find its easier to have a healthy relationship when you 're good with yourself ? I want you guys to weigh in on this with me ! Before I get started on what I would like to discuss in this post I want to just say a couple things about my last post . First of all , thank you so much for reading it in general and thank you to everyone who gave me positive feedback . It was one of my most popular posts thus far with more comments , shares and discussion than most if not all of my others post ! That being said , there was some controversy about me offering up that I am currently sleeping with a hot guy . Monique commented , " I was with you right up until the end . " This body is also sleeping with a really hot guy so fuck you , society ! " Really ? You spend a post writing about how YOU accept your body and that is the most important thing , but then you offer that you 're sleeping with a " hot " guy as if that contributes to whether your body is acceptable or not . What does that mean for women who aren 't sleeping with " hot " guys , or any guys ? Are there bodies less acceptable ? Also , why does it matter that the person you 're sleeping with is " hot " ? What if he had acne or was overweight or in some other way unattractive by society 's standards ? " I personally messaged Monique back but I wanted to offer up some answers here as I was left a couple of comments like this and it 's definitely worth addressing , especially if other people felt this way but didn 't comment . First of all , what I meant by that ( for people who got any other message from it ) was that me , someone who is not beautiful , sexy or acceptable by societies standards is sleeping with someone who is and I didn 't say it in a " im sleeping with a hot guy and you aren 't " way , I said it mostly as a stick it to the man kind of comment . I said it to to make an example of the fact that none of that shit really matters . Just because society or the media or your mother or the lady on the street tells you that there is one type of beauty or tells you that you fit into some box of ugly or pretty or fat or fit doesn 't mean that it 's right or even close to the truth . There are all kinds of types of beautiful and all kinds of people who are attracted to all those different types . I have slept with 5 guys and they were all very different physically and lead extremely different lives and had extremely different personalities but I was very attracted to them and there will be people who aren 't and that 's totally cool . This is what is so wonderful about life and love and the world we live in - diversity of people and diversity of interests - there is always someone wantin ' what you 're flauntin - always ! I understand that by putting my opinions and nonsense out in the open that there will always be people who don 't agree or who want to pick apart what I say or who will take things I say and feel like I 'm saying something I 'm not . That is the risk I 'm taking . My promise is to think longer and harder before I write things but to always be honest - even if I 'm going to offend someone . If I tried not to offend anyone I wouldn 't be able to write anything ever . I am not taking back anything I said in that post but I certainly am taking the comments seriously and will be more conscious about things like that next time as to have less misunderstandings ! Thanks to my readers for always keepin it real ! Until this week I was mostly focusing on getting back to the gym and not drinking and partying . This weekend was really hard for me and all I wanted to do was drink a couple bottles of wine and take off to the bar . I didn 't but I was very close to breaking . Now I 'm happy I didn 't and I would 've been so disappointed in myself had I done it and I 'm pretty excited to say I 'm 21 days booze free and this is the longest I 've gone in probably 2 years - it 's a big deal for me ! Over the weekend I was pretty off track as far as food went and I decided to really tighten the reigns and start tracking my food and making healthy food choices a larger focus . I 'm also trying extremely hard to push myself at the gym . I 'm literally that girl on the treadmill who looks like she 's about to pass out and inside my head I 'm cheering myself on and giving myself pep talks to just make it one more minute . I feel really good though and I can 't wait to be back to where I was a couple of years ago . As far as food goes I 'm trying to focus on getting a ton of veggies , some fruit and protein and cutting back on starch and added sugars but not stressing too much about that or anything really . I 'm using myfitnesspal to be more aware of how much I 'm eating but again , not stressing and obsessing . I 'm not much of a cook but I have been making smoothies , stir fries and I made my own ground turkey spaghetti sauce to put on spaghetti squash last week . I also tried my hand at making a smoothie with spinach and it ended up being delicious so go me ! Every day is different and I tend to go with the flow as I 'm not much of a planner . I 've been keeping lots of healthy stuff on hand though so I don 't have any excuses . Sometimes I have a huge breakfast because I know I 'll be busy all day between split shifts and the gym and sometimes I eat light because I have dinner plans and I know I 'll prob eat something a bit heavier . Today I was having tacos with some friends so I had strawberries , some almonds and of course my flax seed oil drank . I 've been drinking a tsp of flaxseed mixed with some juice and water every morning to help keep me regular and lucky for me it has lots of other great benefits ! So I 'm eating quite well , committed at the gym and still sober so , yay me . I will definitely go back to drinking as the plan was never to give it up completely but I think it will be much different . I know I can 't be drinking every weekend if I want to stay committed to the gym and eating healthy because it throws me way off being hungover so I 'll be focusing on going out 2 - 4 times a month and my wallet will also be thanking me ! As far as no boys is going I 'm doing great . At this point I 'm feeling so happy and independent . For all of 2014 I was so desperate to hang out with boys and to find a boyfriend and to not be alone and I longed to be in the place that I am now . Having arrived at this place of not wanting to date , not wanting to get involved in anything , not wanting to chase or talk to any boys . . . well , I just wish I had arrived here sooner . But I feel really great . No , I 'm not writing it off forever but I 'm just happy to be focused on myself ( selfish , much ? ) and not stressing about any of that bullshit ! What I 'd love to hear about from you guys is what you like to do for work outs ! I like really high intensity so if you have any awesome HIIT work outs or anything like that you think I 'd like please share - no burpees please ! I love when you share ! Big Love , Since New Years Eve I 've been having many conversations with my friends about the importance or lack there of of the scale when it comes to weight loss , getting fit , and just our general perspective of the scale , especially as females in a body obsessed society . These conversations also had me having all sorts of thoughts about self love and how it is connected to what society , the media and whoever else tells us how we have to look to be able to love ourselves . I decided to try and organize my thoughts and weigh in on it ( pun intended ) here at beingbaileyj . com . Bare with me . . . this shit gets me fired up and it 's word vomit from there on out . I first started worrying about my weight , my fitness level and how many calories I was consuming around age 9 or 10 . One of my best friends started running at this age and started listing off the calories of everything we ate at the school cafeteria every day . Looking back , I wish someone had intervened there , for all of us girls , to teach us the things that I personally wouldn 't learn until now , almost 15 years later . Since then it 's been up and down . I lost weight in middle school , gained steady through high school , lost 45lbs in my junior year and then gained it all back by my graduation . Then after meeting my first boyfriend who was less than pleased with my body type combined with my own lifelong insecurities with my body , I started religiously hitting the gym and eating mostly like a rabbit when I was 19 . I lost almost 50lbs and looked the best I 've ever looked in my life that year . I also felt great as , for the most part , I was treating my body very well . Now , 4 years later I 've gained it all back , and a couple more , and I 'm just now starting over back at the gym , back to eating half normal , back to trying to be healthy . There is something extremely different this time around compared to the years before . I 'm older and not particularly wiser but at least more experienced and I have so much more knowledge about weight loss and body love . And here is what I 've learned in 10 + years of this struggle : the scale is your fucking enemy . That number doesn 't mean shit . Our society is obsessed with numbers , obsessed with bodies and making them perfect , obsessed with making women ( and men to a different extent ) feel as though our bodies are never good enough . From thigh gaps to bikini bridges to having a big fat ass and not an ounce of fat anywhere else on your body - these ideas are extremely unrealistic and not even physically attainable for most women ! Here is the cold hard truth : not every body is made to have a thigh gap and you may literally never have one until your flesh is rotting off of your bones in your grave . Bikini bridges are just plain stupid - who even THOUGHT of that bullshit ? . Big fat asses are wonderful in all their glory but some of us , including me - the flat ass queen of the world , will NEVER have a big round booty and most of us wont be able to achieve one without a surgery ( which is totally fine if thats the route you 'd like to go ) . Either way - it 's all good . These things exist , yes , but they are not attainable for all body types . And here is the most important truth of all - the truth every person needs to discover - none of that bullshit matters . . like . . at all . People with thigh gaps and perfect bodies still hate their bodies and girls with the bootys that Id die to have been blessed with wish they could slim it down . There are girls who are whispy thin who wish they could gain weight . Many of us , even girls who have the body you would do anything for , want to be things we aren 't . Here is the most awesome truth of all , that I have only recently discovered : imperfect people , with imperfect bodies , still love themselves and those with perfect bodies sometimes do not . The most important lesson I 've learned is that it is absolutely okay to love your body at any weight . In my opinion , we have no other choice but to try to love ourselves and our bodies before we can ever be happy with them . It does not matter if I get to my goal weight and I all of a sudden have this glorious Beyonce body - that will not make me love myself , it will not make me happy , and I will still find something to hate if I try hard enough . Although I would look bangin ' to everybody else - I would probably still find something in the mirror to criticize . This , I believe , is because society , the media and even our peers are constantly putting a billion different ideas of what we need to look like in our heads . It 's such bulllllllshit . You have to choose to love yourself - it 's a mindset , not a physical state . You have to choose to love your body . You have to stop paying attention to the scale . . even when you 're working your anus off and you think it should be moving . Ultimately that number is irrelevant . Appreciate your body for all the amazing things it does for you . After all . . the body you have now is the body that will do all the work to get you the body you want . This week I ran 10 minutes on the treadmill . Thats a warm up for most active people but for me it was huge . I lifted weights and then I said " fuck you " to the ideas in my head that told me I couldn 't run more and I went and put in 10 more minutes running on the treadmill . My body rocks . My body is powerful . It is wonderful and sexy and whoever put the ideas in my head and in all of our heads that we couldn 't love these bodies , ALL of them , can go fuck themselves . Although my stomach is huge and drapes down my midsection from constant loss and gain , although my arm fat dangles while I lift weights , although my thighs rub and chafe just walking around work and although my skin is broken out and bruised - this body is awesome . Period . I love my body and although I am getting healthier and working towards a healthier version of this body , I have made a promise to put in effort to love my body at every single weight and size I feel like . This body is running , this body is lifting weights , this body has been through all the good and bad times and it 's mine and that 's that . This body is also sleeping with a really hot guy so fuck you , society ! Many , in fact most people would look at my body and never wish to have it . And that 's totally fine . But it 's none of your business whether I love my body or not because I 'm the one living my life in it so run along . Love your body . Love it for everything that it is , everything that it can do and everything that it can be . Treat your body with respect - it will thank you ! Don 't let anyone tell you anything about your body - it 's none of their God damn business . Love yourself - you 're absolutely wonderful . My # 2s are solid - For about 6 weeks before the new year I was having diarrhea every time I used the bathroom . I just thought oh well and kept on keeping on because I 've had digestive issues for years and I pretty much knew it was because I drink too much and eat unhealthy . It feels amazing to be a normally functioning human and not in pain all the time . It 's ridiculous how I just brushed off basically being sick all the time . I actually want to eat better - This is me getting into that topic from earlier . I find that I 'm not avoiding bad food but I want to make healthier choices after and before my work outs and I feel better fueling my body with more healthy options . I still eat bad things but I am eating a ton of healthy stuff too where as I ate carbs and cheese for most of 2014 . I can barely even believe the words " I want to eat healthy food " are coming out of my mouth but hey . . . its a new year . Now . . I have to be completely honest . . . I SUCK at the no boys thing . Tamara says I 'm breaking even because I 've turned 2 boys down and I have hung out with one boy and I have plans with another Friday . I 'm not looking for new guys , these are both guys who I 've hung out with before and Im trying to keep it pretty casual but I definitely can admit that I 'm failing at the no boys thing . I am trying to make sure it doesn 't occupy my thoughts too often and Im not about to catch any feelings because thats when it all goes to shit . We will see how it goes . My resolutions are a bit different this year . I decided to focus my resolutions and goals for the year around being a better , more well rounded person rather than just solely focusing on being skinny which is usually my goal . Yes , I 'd like to lose weight , but I 'd also like to work on a whole list ( see below ) of others things because being thin is a small , semi irrelevant part of being a human . Instead of saying hey , i 'm going to lose 90 lbs this year ( because lets face it , I wont ) I want to focus my energy on just treating my body better in general in all kinds of different ways as well as my mind . So here 's my list : What do you think ? We will see how it goes but I think these are achievable goals and even if I only achieve some of them it will make me better . The most difficult for me will be to exercise and to drink and party less . I am currently on day 4 of a a month of no alcohol and although it 's not so hard yet , it 's only been 4 days since I drank and I think it will be much more difficult in 5 days when another weekend rolls around , I haven 't drank in a week and my friends are going to the bar . I 'm committed though ! You may wonder why I 'm doing this and you may wonder if I think I 'm an alcoholic . Honestly , I don 't know . I do know that there is alcoholism on both sides of my family , I do know I love to drink and party , I do know that I have used alcohol to feel more happy , relaxed , fun etc and I do know that I get the blues for a couple days after I drink way more often than I should be . These reasons are enough for me as a level headed human being to know that I could use a bit of a break . I 've spent a lot of sundays laying in bed with the blues . I do love to go out but it 's hard on my bank account and sometimes my lows are super low . Like I mentioned in my last post , Im naturally someone who gets really down when Im sad but drinking can definitely be to blame at times and it certainly doesn 't help . I feel so worthless and sad and it 's really unhealthy for me . I need to get back to a place where drinking is not a 1 - 3x a week thing and rather a fun thing I do a couple of times a month - that is the goal . So for now I 'm just kind of detoxing the bod , saving a bit of money and taking control of the whole partying thing . Am I quitting forever ? No . Is continuing to not drink after January out of the question ? No , of course not , if I feel like it 's benefiting my life and it 's not making me miss out on something I 'd really like to do then it 's very possible I 'd stay sober through February and March or maybe just a couple of weeks . . I 'm playing it by ear . But for now - January is booze free . January is also boys free . . . well . . I 'm trying . I just have met so many idiots in the past year and I recently thought I found a really good guy and was let down by him and it pushed me over the edge . I promptly made this no boy decision because I need it . I 'm not like giving up men for life or losing faith in true love I 'm just making a smart , healthy decision for myself to stay away from men for a while . I just let them in and they let me down and I feel sad and wonder what the hell is wrong with me and I 'm totally tired of that feeling . So NoBig Love ,
|
The voice comes from Nero . I don 't expect it honestly but Nero looks like a dog with a bone . He stares Armando down with this vicious look . At times I see Nero as this charming prince but times like now I can see the animal inside . He was a prince but he was still a vampire and right now , the darkness is all around him . There is a pause in the room . Everyone is staring at Armando . He was the more vocal out of the two of us in that video . He was calling the king mediocre and talking about how he wanted me to come live with him . This shit looks bad . It 's taking everything out of me not to go ahead and just tell everyone exactly who Armando is to me . Armando doesn 't defend himself . He puts on that cold , ' too cool for school ' face that he always has . It 's as if he 's above defending himself . He is looking at everyone in the room like ' so the fuck what ' . The elder vampires are judging . They are looking at Armando and whispering amongst themselves . No one is flaming . . . no one except Nero . Nero spits at Armando 's feet . I have to admit it 's kind of sexy to see Nero so pissed off at Armando . Don 't get me wrong . I don 't want him to do anything crazy but you can 't fake the outrage that Nero is showing . If ever we were pretending to have a fake relationship , it didn 't matter . That ship had long sailed . Nero is pissed and I have a feeling there is a lot of built up frustration . No matter how much I don 't want Nero to be crazy it kind of feels good to know that he cares . " My conversation with my friend was in private , " Armando responds , " I apologize for anything I 've done to upset . . . the king . I 'll go on television first thing and apologize to any remarks that I said negatively about . . . King Arie . It was not intentional . " Jesus Christ . The way that Armando is talking is damn near a slap to Nero 's face . I want to damn near fight Armando now . He is doing it on purpose . He 's stressing the word friend as though making it sound like bullshit . He 's making sure to emphasize the fact that he is only trying to apologize to what he said about the king . All the while Armando is staring Nero down . I mean he is staring bullets into Nero 's eyes . My face blushes red . Armando gives little to no fucks about offending Nero and whatever he is doing is working . Nero is getting worked up . He 's flexing . His muscles are popping out under the tight gold button up he has on . Nero looks like he wants to throw down with Armando right now . As sexy , as he is I 'm no longer amused . I 'm a little worried . " We are just friends , " I try to fix things ; " Raul 's video was taken way out of context . We 're just friends . Right Armando ? " Armando gets silent . Fuck . He 's not helping this SHIT at all . I don 't know who I 'm trying to convince but no one seems to be buying what the fuck is coming out of my mouth . Armando being silent like he is just seems to be bringing about more tension between him and Nero . The king isn 't helping . He 's just a bystander at this point . A smile sneaks up in the corner of Armando 's face . It 's damn near menacing the way he says it . I want to cry . I swear to God I want to cry . He is pissing Nero off and ruining a good thing that I have with him . He 's doing it on purpose . My fucking father is insinuating something really is happening between us . I can 't fucking believe him right now . Nero is pacing back and forth . " Aren 't you going do something ? " Nero asks King Arie . " This . . . man . . . is disrespecting us to our face . . . " King Arie might as well have walked over to Nero and pulled down his pants in front of everyone . It would have been the same level of embarrassment . I felt bad for Nero at this moment . I can 't believe that my fucking father is being so nasty . I can 't believe that my father is actually going out of his way to pull some shit like this . What the fuck is he really getting out of this ? Nero 's face gets so red that I forget he 's a vampire . His silver eyes I swear almost go completely white . He looks over at King Arie speechless , and then looks over at Armando ; lastly , he just turns around and storms out of the fucking room . Nero not telling me the truth is the worst thing that I can imagine . He 's steaming . He doesn 't go to homeroom for the rest of the week . He is avoiding Armando . What 's worse is that Nero is spending all of his time in the gym . I don 't know what that means but it scares the fuck out of me . I don 't know what 's going to happen but the tension is in the air and it 's worse than before . Nero and I are in the gym after our classes for the week . I go in there to practice some combat moves for the upcoming midterms . Nero doesn 't need practice . He 's just in there punching a bag . The aggression in his punches is scary as fuck . The look in his eyes is fierce to say the least . He turns back to the bag . He delivers four jabs , one hook and a heavy right cross to the punching bag that causes the chain to rattle like a snake . Other people are in the gym from other classes . It 's usual that they stare but usually it 's this star struck kind of stare . Like ' oh shit I really go to school with the prince ' but this stare is different . People are judging . People are looking at us like we aren 't shit and just trying to listen in so they can get some gossip that they 'd probably run back to the media about . That 's what the fuck we have been dealing with all week . I went from the Golden boy of Eden to the boy who is cheating on Prince Nero . I had no way of defending myself . I had no way of rebutting Raul 's attack . After a few more punches Nero seems to be talking , " I 'm tired of people sleeping on me . Thinking I 'm some spoiled prince . I 'm not that . It 's not you . It 's everyone else . It 's my father . He thinks I 'm weak . I can 't go anywhere without a fucking bodyguard . The nobles aren 't much better . I hear them laughing at me . Then I hear Milan . I hear Armando . I see them trying to get with the man that - - - " He 's breathing heavy . He doesn 't finish his sentence . He is breathing so heavy that I don 't think he could even if he wanted to . I shake my head , " Nero . I can 't go back home yo . You know I can 't . Stop playing this game as if I have so many choices . I have nowhere to go . So yeah , if someone offers a plan B for me , I 'll take it . " I 'm trying to flirt with him . For a minute , I swear that he is calming down . That is until Raul and Milan walk into the gym . God knows why they are there but seeing Raul seems to get Nero all the way turnt up to 100 . He delivers a solid kick to bag and its busts wide open . The force damn near causes me to trip and fall backwards . Nero is shirtless . He is dripping with sweat . The entire gym sees how powerful he is when he hits that bag . He 's not playing any games and his eyes fall across the room to Raul and then to Milan . Oh yeah , the anger is directed towards those two . It 's not about the fact that Raul revealed that tape . He 's still bothered because he still thinks something is going on between Milan and me . I take a step forward . I want this so bad . I want to fight Raul . I don 't care if he 's one of the best fighters in the class . I don 't care that he used to be my best friend . I don 't care that we actually aren 't even fighting over the same person . He could mess with me all he wanted to but the fact that he dragged Nero into this was crossing the line . Milan gives him a stare . I wonder if they 've talked about this before they came into the gym because they seem to be communicating something with that stare that I 'm not aware of . It 's as if Milan saw this coming a mile away . Raul listens to him though and leaves the gym so that nothing escalates between the two of us . I 'm actually surprised that Milan was actually the one able to put Raul into his place being that he was the one who was actually so in love with Raul . I am standing there with my arms crossed . I 'm just mad at the world . I 'm looking at the sand . Shit was going so well with Nero and me and then Raul had to come fuck everything up . I 'm louder than Milan likes because he grabs me by my arm and takes me behind the bleachers in the gym . This shit would probably look even more suspicious if Nero came out of this locker room but hell I was already in the dog pound with him . I couldn 't get any deeper . Nero was pissed and every day it got worse and worse . Milan sighs loudly , " Armando won 't have it . . . not with a threat in Class O . It would compromise our entire mission . If we come out the threat may know we are investigating them . " Milan isn 't skipping a beat in this argument , " You have to keep quiet about this . We have to think of the bigger picture . We have to think about what 's best for Eden . . . not what 's best for Santos . " These secrets were ruining my fucking life . Milan didn 't seem to care . All he cared about was keeping the peace with Raul , who was starting to be a spiteful male version of Coco every single day . " Look . . . I 'm actually Nero 's friend . I care for him unlike my brother and Armando , " Milan explains , " I 'm on your side with this . My brother hates Nero and so does Armando . " " Excuse me ? How do you think Raul got that interview ? He is new to Eden - - - just like you . He doesn 't know any reporters . " " Milan , I swear to god if you don 't tell me what the fuck you were about to say I 'm going to tell the entire school that you have a twin . I 'll tell everyone who Armando is to me . I swear to God . . . " Milan is sweating bullets . I can definitely see the difference between the twins . Aiden would have never been so dumb with the way he was talking . Milan wasn 't the smarter twin and he 'd let something slip out that he wasn 't supposed to let slip out . I can see him really looking like he was losing it right now as he stood next to me . " Ok . Ok . Your father planned it all . He reached out to Raul . He gave Raul the cellphone . He told Raul where to go and what to do . You 're blaming Raul but you shouldn 't . It wasn 't all his idea . Armando even set up the interview . " " Why would I lie ? I thought it sucked but Aiden was all on board . He 's just trying to protect you . I guess . Armando just really , really , really doesn 't want you involved with Nero and I can 't blame him . The prince has a big ass target on his back . You don 't want to be mixed up in this kind of shit . Armando is a father after all . You should understand . You know you should talk to your father . He can make it make sense for you , just go talk to him . " My voice is sharp as fuck . Armando went out of his way to embarrass Nero . He went out of his way to make sure that Nero thought something was actually going on between him and me . He gave Raul enough ammunition to get the job done . Raul agreed probably thinking he was taking shots at me but really , Raul was taking shots at Nero for Armando . The Thanksgiving is coming up for the holidays however , we aren 't allowed to leave Eden . Most of my other classmates have somewhere to go or at least someone to spend it with . I spend the week leading up to the holidays hoping that Nero will invite me somewhere but the last time he invited me to the palace it was an absolute mess so I 'm not surprised when the invitation doesn 't arrive . Besides he seems . . . distant ever since the video came out . The media takes every opportunity to clown him . I 'm counting my blessings at this point that he hasn 't decided to just completely cut ties with me and break up . He 's taking the scrutiny and criticism a little hard . He 's on the bed with me and Camilla is right beside me . They know better than to bring this bullshit around when Nero and I are lying together . They are messy as hell . I look at the cover of the magazine and I 'm honestly blown away . There are pictures of Nero and me walking together . Nero has his head down a looks a little sad . It looks like he 's kind of looking down at his junk . I 'm only telling a half - truth . Nero and I did have sex a couple of time and each time it was hot , but we hadn 't been intimate since Raul 's video . He has just been stressed . It hadn 't stopped him from cuddling up with me . . . holding me - - - but no sex . I think about Sinclair Nero 's pretty ass bodyguard . My heart is racing at the thought of it . I look over at Camilla and then at Lucca . Camilla shrugs , " Milan told Geneva who told me that your boyfriend 's been sneaking out all the time . You know I don 't do drama - - - and I 'm not the kind to run and tell people 's business at all . But supposedly he 's been sneaking off with Sinclair . " I don 't want to them to think something is going on between us . Camilla and Lucca were the biggest gossipers probably in the school . They knew and talked to damn everyone . Regardless if they wanted to suck up to me because I was being talked about often didn 't matter . They didn 't have any real loyalty to me and I didn 't need to be a genius to figure that out . I shrug at that moment , " Oh you know there is weird stuff going on in the school . So the prince is , um , well . He 's looking into it . " " It 's bullshit , " Camilla responds , " When I was friends with Coco , she used to constantly say things like that . Supposedly , her father is real concerned someone infiltrated the class to be closer to Prince Nero . She thought it was you . " I 'm not surprised that Coco doesn 't trust me but I am surprised she actually thinks I would go to this length . I roll my eyes . I can see Camilla and Lucca aren 't taking this seriously however . Lucca is laughing about what Camilla says and she is rolling her eyes as though heavily annoyed . " Right , a rogue in Class O , Nero cheating on you . . . " Camilla adds , " The lies that are made up about us are ridiculous . There was even this rumor that he was going to have this announcement tomorrow and publicly break up with you . . . . " I can 't get it out of my head that entire night . Nero was mad at me . He was getting distant . He was acting , as he wasn 't really all that into me anymore . What if he was cheating was that such strange idea . Nero gets out of the shower and Sinclair is right there later on that night . Most of the others have already gone to bed . I 'm sitting up . I watch as Sinclair is standing at the door . I watch how he looks at Nero from the door while Nero is getting dressed . There is no threat in the world that would cause someone to stare at someone else that hard . " I understand you spend all your time in the gym and your muscles are popping . I get it . We all get it . You can walk around with a shirt on once in a while . You know they do work . " " No , that is not what I meant , " I sigh realizing my lingo from Harlem is a little different from what he might be used to ; " I 'm just saying that you don 't realize how sexy you are . You don 't realize how handsome you are . Other people do . " " You worried about Coco ? I am gay not bisexual baby . I know most vampires are but not me . I 'm gay . I 'm not interested in her , " he responds , " I don 't care how long that girl stares at me . " I turn my head to Sinclair . He is in the distance . The man has a bed in the dorm room but he never uses it . He just leans up against the far door and stares at Nero until he goes to sleep . It 's annoying as fuck because I 'm with Nero most of the time that he goes to sleep . He 's staring at both of us . The way he says it makes me feel bad as fuck . I have to remember he doesn 't know about the twins and he doesn 't know Armando is my father . Nero is sitting around thinking I 'm constantly surrounded by men that want to be with me . It is a struggle not to tell him now but I have to remember ' it 's the best for Eden ' not to have anyone know about my father 's real intentions here . I have to keep his secrets and it 's so fucking hard . I find myself outlining Nero 's arms . His arms are huge . He 's turned away from me towards the wall . The bed is so small that I am spooning over him . It 's the best I can do . I don 't want to go to sleep mad and honestly , Nero is sexy as fuck . You can 't really stay mad at him too long . Right now , I have something else on my mind besides anger . I 'm rubbing the side of his arms . For a moment , I see him move and think he 's going to turn over . It would be so hot if we were able to have sex right here right now . Sinclair has finally gone to sleep . The other beds are close enough . Lucca is above us . On the cot next to ours is Camilla 's bed with Coco on top . Two cots down Milan and Raul are sleeping and Geneva is right above them . We can have sex right in this room and we might be able to get away with it . I find myself reaching over past his small hips . I squeeze onto his hips and hear him exhale a little bit . Then I grab onto his dick . It 's not hard but it 's thick as fuck . As I hold onto his dick , I can feel it slowly but surely getting hard in my hands . I ask him again but hear a muffled grunt and it seems like Nero has fallen asleep or at least he 's pretending to have fallen asleep on me . I can 't believe it . What the fuck did I really do to deserve this ? It 's the day everyone is leaving for Thanksgiving break . I 'm sitting in this room by my fucking self and I don 't know what to think . You don 't know how much you care about someone until you are about to lose them . I feel like a little bitch when I 'm sitting in the bathroom crying . I 'm crying because I hate myself for allowing me to lose someone like Nero . I hate the fact that I have so much loyalty to Armando who is supposedly doing all this shady shit in an attempt to protect me . Geneva stares at my face hard . She 's not convinced . I can tell when she follows me into the common room . Most of the others have already gone . Raul is staying in the dorms but there is no way in hell I 'm going to be talking to him . Lucca , Camilla and Coco have gone . Milan has disappeared and I can only imagine that he 's doing something for my father . Geneva sighs a little bit , " Listen . . . why don 't you and me hang out ? My parents are King 's Guard and they left Eden on a mission so I 'm alone too . I promised you that I 'd help you study for midterms . " " Yeah . He asked me out . Right after you said you would talk to him . He didn 't set it up until next week though . He says he has some stuff he wants to deal with . I am beyond excited . God I don 't know what to wear . . . and honestly I don 't know how to thank you . That is my DREAM man . " Geneva isn 't just excited . She is beyond excited . I knew people thought Armando was attractive but she was acting as she 'd just won the dream of a lifetime . I 'm watching this girl as she literally spins throughout the sleeping areas . She twirls as if she is fucking Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz . It 's hilarious to see people act like that because of love . Geneva smiles , " I 'm sorry I 've been acting a like a jealous bitch . I just saw what you and Nero had . . . and I was just like why the fuck would someone want more than that . Nero adores you . . . " " You don 't have to be , " he snaps back shaking his head , " But what you will do is bring your unbothered ass over here and see what 's on television . This is not a good look . Your man just shocked Eden . . . " Geneva and I run into the common area where Raul already has the television blasting . I look at the television . Sure enough , Nero is on the screen and he 's about to make an announcement . Cameras are flashing . Nero doesn 't even look nervous in the pressroom . " . . . and I 'd like to make an announcement , " Nero explains , " Many of you saw the interview a few weeks ago . Because of that , I will no longer have my relationship disrespected . I am in love with Santos and so I challenge Captain Armando to a Combat Sanglant . " The only person that would know is Geneva . I turn to find out why she is being so quiet . She is staring at the screen . Her mouth is wide open . She isn 't the only one reacting like this . On the television , there isn 't the usual reaction to vampire drama . There isn 't whispers and chattering . " It means Bloody Battle , " she finally responds , " It 's one of the oldest vampire traditions . It hasn 't been done in nearly 300 years . It 's a dead art . Armando can 't refuse . Nero can 't take it back . Nero just challenged Armando to a battle to the death . . . "
|
The voice comes from Nero . I don 't expect it honestly but Nero looks like a dog with a bone . He stares Armando down with this vicious look . At times I see Nero as this charming prince but times like now I can see the animal inside . He was a prince but he was still a vampire and right now , the darkness is all around him . There is a pause in the room . Everyone is staring at Armando . He was the more vocal out of the two of us in that video . He was calling the king mediocre and talking about how he wanted me to come live with him . This shit looks bad . It 's taking everything out of me not to go ahead and just tell everyone exactly who Armando is to me . Armando doesn 't defend himself . He puts on that cold , ' too cool for school ' face that he always has . It 's as if he 's above defending himself . He is looking at everyone in the room like ' so the fuck what ' . The elder vampires are judging . They are looking at Armando and whispering amongst themselves . No one is flaming . . . no one except Nero . Nero spits at Armando 's feet . I have to admit it 's kind of sexy to see Nero so pissed off at Armando . Don 't get me wrong . I don 't want him to do anything crazy but you can 't fake the outrage that Nero is showing . If ever we were pretending to have a fake relationship , it didn 't matter . That ship had long sailed . Nero is pissed and I have a feeling there is a lot of built up frustration . No matter how much I don 't want Nero to be crazy it kind of feels good to know that he cares . " My conversation with my friend was in private , " Armando responds , " I apologize for anything I 've done to upset . . . the king . I 'll go on television first thing and apologize to any remarks that I said negatively about . . . King Arie . It was not intentional . " Jesus Christ . The way that Armando is talking is damn near a slap to Nero 's face . I want to damn near fight Armando now . He is doing it on purpose . He 's stressing the word friend as though making it sound like bullshit . He 's making sure to emphasize the fact that he is only trying to apologize to what he said about the king . All the while Armando is staring Nero down . I mean he is staring bullets into Nero 's eyes . My face blushes red . Armando gives little to no fucks about offending Nero and whatever he is doing is working . Nero is getting worked up . He 's flexing . His muscles are popping out under the tight gold button up he has on . Nero looks like he wants to throw down with Armando right now . As sexy , as he is I 'm no longer amused . I 'm a little worried . " We are just friends , " I try to fix things ; " Raul 's video was taken way out of context . We 're just friends . Right Armando ? " Armando gets silent . Fuck . He 's not helping this SHIT at all . I don 't know who I 'm trying to convince but no one seems to be buying what the fuck is coming out of my mouth . Armando being silent like he is just seems to be bringing about more tension between him and Nero . The king isn 't helping . He 's just a bystander at this point . A smile sneaks up in the corner of Armando 's face . It 's damn near menacing the way he says it . I want to cry . I swear to God I want to cry . He is pissing Nero off and ruining a good thing that I have with him . He 's doing it on purpose . My fucking father is insinuating something really is happening between us . I can 't fucking believe him right now . Nero is pacing back and forth . " Aren 't you going do something ? " Nero asks King Arie . " This . . . man . . . is disrespecting us to our face . . . " King Arie might as well have walked over to Nero and pulled down his pants in front of everyone . It would have been the same level of embarrassment . I felt bad for Nero at this moment . I can 't believe that my fucking father is being so nasty . I can 't believe that my father is actually going out of his way to pull some shit like this . What the fuck is he really getting out of this ? Nero 's face gets so red that I forget he 's a vampire . His silver eyes I swear almost go completely white . He looks over at King Arie speechless , and then looks over at Armando ; lastly , he just turns around and storms out of the fucking room . Nero not telling me the truth is the worst thing that I can imagine . He 's steaming . He doesn 't go to homeroom for the rest of the week . He is avoiding Armando . What 's worse is that Nero is spending all of his time in the gym . I don 't know what that means but it scares the fuck out of me . I don 't know what 's going to happen but the tension is in the air and it 's worse than before . Nero and I are in the gym after our classes for the week . I go in there to practice some combat moves for the upcoming midterms . Nero doesn 't need practice . He 's just in there punching a bag . The aggression in his punches is scary as fuck . The look in his eyes is fierce to say the least . He turns back to the bag . He delivers four jabs , one hook and a heavy right cross to the punching bag that causes the chain to rattle like a snake . Other people are in the gym from other classes . It 's usual that they stare but usually it 's this star struck kind of stare . Like ' oh shit I really go to school with the prince ' but this stare is different . People are judging . People are looking at us like we aren 't shit and just trying to listen in so they can get some gossip that they 'd probably run back to the media about . That 's what the fuck we have been dealing with all week . I went from the Golden boy of Eden to the boy who is cheating on Prince Nero . I had no way of defending myself . I had no way of rebutting Raul 's attack . After a few more punches Nero seems to be talking , " I 'm tired of people sleeping on me . Thinking I 'm some spoiled prince . I 'm not that . It 's not you . It 's everyone else . It 's my father . He thinks I 'm weak . I can 't go anywhere without a fucking bodyguard . The nobles aren 't much better . I hear them laughing at me . Then I hear Milan . I hear Armando . I see them trying to get with the man that - - - " He 's breathing heavy . He doesn 't finish his sentence . He is breathing so heavy that I don 't think he could even if he wanted to . I shake my head , " Nero . I can 't go back home yo . You know I can 't . Stop playing this game as if I have so many choices . I have nowhere to go . So yeah , if someone offers a plan B for me , I 'll take it . " I 'm trying to flirt with him . For a minute , I swear that he is calming down . That is until Raul and Milan walk into the gym . God knows why they are there but seeing Raul seems to get Nero all the way turnt up to 100 . He delivers a solid kick to bag and its busts wide open . The force damn near causes me to trip and fall backwards . Nero is shirtless . He is dripping with sweat . The entire gym sees how powerful he is when he hits that bag . He 's not playing any games and his eyes fall across the room to Raul and then to Milan . Oh yeah , the anger is directed towards those two . It 's not about the fact that Raul revealed that tape . He 's still bothered because he still thinks something is going on between Milan and me . I take a step forward . I want this so bad . I want to fight Raul . I don 't care if he 's one of the best fighters in the class . I don 't care that he used to be my best friend . I don 't care that we actually aren 't even fighting over the same person . He could mess with me all he wanted to but the fact that he dragged Nero into this was crossing the line . Milan gives him a stare . I wonder if they 've talked about this before they came into the gym because they seem to be communicating something with that stare that I 'm not aware of . It 's as if Milan saw this coming a mile away . Raul listens to him though and leaves the gym so that nothing escalates between the two of us . I 'm actually surprised that Milan was actually the one able to put Raul into his place being that he was the one who was actually so in love with Raul . I am standing there with my arms crossed . I 'm just mad at the world . I 'm looking at the sand . Shit was going so well with Nero and me and then Raul had to come fuck everything up . I 'm louder than Milan likes because he grabs me by my arm and takes me behind the bleachers in the gym . This shit would probably look even more suspicious if Nero came out of this locker room but hell I was already in the dog pound with him . I couldn 't get any deeper . Nero was pissed and every day it got worse and worse . Milan sighs loudly , " Armando won 't have it . . . not with a threat in Class O . It would compromise our entire mission . If we come out the threat may know we are investigating them . " Milan isn 't skipping a beat in this argument , " You have to keep quiet about this . We have to think of the bigger picture . We have to think about what 's best for Eden . . . not what 's best for Santos . " These secrets were ruining my fucking life . Milan didn 't seem to care . All he cared about was keeping the peace with Raul , who was starting to be a spiteful male version of Coco every single day . " Look . . . I 'm actually Nero 's friend . I care for him unlike my brother and Armando , " Milan explains , " I 'm on your side with this . My brother hates Nero and so does Armando . " " Excuse me ? How do you think Raul got that interview ? He is new to Eden - - - just like you . He doesn 't know any reporters . " " Milan , I swear to god if you don 't tell me what the fuck you were about to say I 'm going to tell the entire school that you have a twin . I 'll tell everyone who Armando is to me . I swear to God . . . " Milan is sweating bullets . I can definitely see the difference between the twins . Aiden would have never been so dumb with the way he was talking . Milan wasn 't the smarter twin and he 'd let something slip out that he wasn 't supposed to let slip out . I can see him really looking like he was losing it right now as he stood next to me . " Ok . Ok . Your father planned it all . He reached out to Raul . He gave Raul the cellphone . He told Raul where to go and what to do . You 're blaming Raul but you shouldn 't . It wasn 't all his idea . Armando even set up the interview . " " Why would I lie ? I thought it sucked but Aiden was all on board . He 's just trying to protect you . I guess . Armando just really , really , really doesn 't want you involved with Nero and I can 't blame him . The prince has a big ass target on his back . You don 't want to be mixed up in this kind of shit . Armando is a father after all . You should understand . You know you should talk to your father . He can make it make sense for you , just go talk to him . " My voice is sharp as fuck . Armando went out of his way to embarrass Nero . He went out of his way to make sure that Nero thought something was actually going on between him and me . He gave Raul enough ammunition to get the job done . Raul agreed probably thinking he was taking shots at me but really , Raul was taking shots at Nero for Armando . The Thanksgiving is coming up for the holidays however , we aren 't allowed to leave Eden . Most of my other classmates have somewhere to go or at least someone to spend it with . I spend the week leading up to the holidays hoping that Nero will invite me somewhere but the last time he invited me to the palace it was an absolute mess so I 'm not surprised when the invitation doesn 't arrive . Besides he seems . . . distant ever since the video came out . The media takes every opportunity to clown him . I 'm counting my blessings at this point that he hasn 't decided to just completely cut ties with me and break up . He 's taking the scrutiny and criticism a little hard . He 's on the bed with me and Camilla is right beside me . They know better than to bring this bullshit around when Nero and I are lying together . They are messy as hell . I look at the cover of the magazine and I 'm honestly blown away . There are pictures of Nero and me walking together . Nero has his head down a looks a little sad . It looks like he 's kind of looking down at his junk . I 'm only telling a half - truth . Nero and I did have sex a couple of time and each time it was hot , but we hadn 't been intimate since Raul 's video . He has just been stressed . It hadn 't stopped him from cuddling up with me . . . holding me - - - but no sex . I think about Sinclair Nero 's pretty ass bodyguard . My heart is racing at the thought of it . I look over at Camilla and then at Lucca . Camilla shrugs , " Milan told Geneva who told me that your boyfriend 's been sneaking out all the time . You know I don 't do drama - - - and I 'm not the kind to run and tell people 's business at all . But supposedly he 's been sneaking off with Sinclair . " I don 't want to them to think something is going on between us . Camilla and Lucca were the biggest gossipers probably in the school . They knew and talked to damn everyone . Regardless if they wanted to suck up to me because I was being talked about often didn 't matter . They didn 't have any real loyalty to me and I didn 't need to be a genius to figure that out . I shrug at that moment , " Oh you know there is weird stuff going on in the school . So the prince is , um , well . He 's looking into it . " " It 's bullshit , " Camilla responds , " When I was friends with Coco , she used to constantly say things like that . Supposedly , her father is real concerned someone infiltrated the class to be closer to Prince Nero . She thought it was you . " I 'm not surprised that Coco doesn 't trust me but I am surprised she actually thinks I would go to this length . I roll my eyes . I can see Camilla and Lucca aren 't taking this seriously however . Lucca is laughing about what Camilla says and she is rolling her eyes as though heavily annoyed . " Right , a rogue in Class O , Nero cheating on you . . . " Camilla adds , " The lies that are made up about us are ridiculous . There was even this rumor that he was going to have this announcement tomorrow and publicly break up with you . . . . " I can 't get it out of my head that entire night . Nero was mad at me . He was getting distant . He was acting , as he wasn 't really all that into me anymore . What if he was cheating was that such strange idea . Nero gets out of the shower and Sinclair is right there later on that night . Most of the others have already gone to bed . I 'm sitting up . I watch as Sinclair is standing at the door . I watch how he looks at Nero from the door while Nero is getting dressed . There is no threat in the world that would cause someone to stare at someone else that hard . " I understand you spend all your time in the gym and your muscles are popping . I get it . We all get it . You can walk around with a shirt on once in a while . You know they do work . " " No , that is not what I meant , " I sigh realizing my lingo from Harlem is a little different from what he might be used to ; " I 'm just saying that you don 't realize how sexy you are . You don 't realize how handsome you are . Other people do . " " You worried about Coco ? I am gay not bisexual baby . I know most vampires are but not me . I 'm gay . I 'm not interested in her , " he responds , " I don 't care how long that girl stares at me . " I turn my head to Sinclair . He is in the distance . The man has a bed in the dorm room but he never uses it . He just leans up against the far door and stares at Nero until he goes to sleep . It 's annoying as fuck because I 'm with Nero most of the time that he goes to sleep . He 's staring at both of us . The way he says it makes me feel bad as fuck . I have to remember he doesn 't know about the twins and he doesn 't know Armando is my father . Nero is sitting around thinking I 'm constantly surrounded by men that want to be with me . It is a struggle not to tell him now but I have to remember ' it 's the best for Eden ' not to have anyone know about my father 's real intentions here . I have to keep his secrets and it 's so fucking hard . I find myself outlining Nero 's arms . His arms are huge . He 's turned away from me towards the wall . The bed is so small that I am spooning over him . It 's the best I can do . I don 't want to go to sleep mad and honestly , Nero is sexy as fuck . You can 't really stay mad at him too long . Right now , I have something else on my mind besides anger . I 'm rubbing the side of his arms . For a moment , I see him move and think he 's going to turn over . It would be so hot if we were able to have sex right here right now . Sinclair has finally gone to sleep . The other beds are close enough . Lucca is above us . On the cot next to ours is Camilla 's bed with Coco on top . Two cots down Milan and Raul are sleeping and Geneva is right above them . We can have sex right in this room and we might be able to get away with it . I find myself reaching over past his small hips . I squeeze onto his hips and hear him exhale a little bit . Then I grab onto his dick . It 's not hard but it 's thick as fuck . As I hold onto his dick , I can feel it slowly but surely getting hard in my hands . I ask him again but hear a muffled grunt and it seems like Nero has fallen asleep or at least he 's pretending to have fallen asleep on me . I can 't believe it . What the fuck did I really do to deserve this ? It 's the day everyone is leaving for Thanksgiving break . I 'm sitting in this room by my fucking self and I don 't know what to think . You don 't know how much you care about someone until you are about to lose them . I feel like a little bitch when I 'm sitting in the bathroom crying . I 'm crying because I hate myself for allowing me to lose someone like Nero . I hate the fact that I have so much loyalty to Armando who is supposedly doing all this shady shit in an attempt to protect me . Geneva stares at my face hard . She 's not convinced . I can tell when she follows me into the common room . Most of the others have already gone . Raul is staying in the dorms but there is no way in hell I 'm going to be talking to him . Lucca , Camilla and Coco have gone . Milan has disappeared and I can only imagine that he 's doing something for my father . Geneva sighs a little bit , " Listen . . . why don 't you and me hang out ? My parents are King 's Guard and they left Eden on a mission so I 'm alone too . I promised you that I 'd help you study for midterms . " " Yeah . He asked me out . Right after you said you would talk to him . He didn 't set it up until next week though . He says he has some stuff he wants to deal with . I am beyond excited . God I don 't know what to wear . . . and honestly I don 't know how to thank you . That is my DREAM man . " Geneva isn 't just excited . She is beyond excited . I knew people thought Armando was attractive but she was acting as she 'd just won the dream of a lifetime . I 'm watching this girl as she literally spins throughout the sleeping areas . She twirls as if she is fucking Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz . It 's hilarious to see people act like that because of love . Geneva smiles , " I 'm sorry I 've been acting a like a jealous bitch . I just saw what you and Nero had . . . and I was just like why the fuck would someone want more than that . Nero adores you . . . " " You don 't have to be , " he snaps back shaking his head , " But what you will do is bring your unbothered ass over here and see what 's on television . This is not a good look . Your man just shocked Eden . . . " Geneva and I run into the common area where Raul already has the television blasting . I look at the television . Sure enough , Nero is on the screen and he 's about to make an announcement . Cameras are flashing . Nero doesn 't even look nervous in the pressroom . " . . . and I 'd like to make an announcement , " Nero explains , " Many of you saw the interview a few weeks ago . Because of that , I will no longer have my relationship disrespected . I am in love with Santos and so I challenge Captain Armando to a Combat Sanglant . " The only person that would know is Geneva . I turn to find out why she is being so quiet . She is staring at the screen . Her mouth is wide open . She isn 't the only one reacting like this . On the television , there isn 't the usual reaction to vampire drama . There isn 't whispers and chattering . " It means Bloody Battle , " she finally responds , " It 's one of the oldest vampire traditions . It hasn 't been done in nearly 300 years . It 's a dead art . Armando can 't refuse . Nero can 't take it back . Nero just challenged Armando to a battle to the death . . . "
|
There are many types of " natural disasters " . There 's the " shart " , for those of you who haven 't seen " Along Came Polly " it 's when you think you 're going to fart , but you shit a little . There 's that skin flap that forms under a woman 's arms sometime in her 50 's usually . There 's showing up at a formal event in the same outfit as a woman your friends all refer to as " the ho - bag " . But the natural disasters I 'm writing about are the kind involving weather , and the earth . When someone tells me about a disaster , I find it difficult to not want to compete with them for who 's lived through the worst natural disaster . I 'm not sure my desire to win this particular competition is natural , or healthy , or smart . And although it is true that many people have lived through disasters much worse than my best or worst , it is possible that I could still win the coveted " Most Freaked Out By a Natural Disaster Award " . The awards ceremony for this particular award is fairly small and low key , and currently it is not being televised . The MFOBANDA nominees are often a rag - tag bunch , straggling along a tan carpet into the school auditorium , which was randomly chosen out of a dirty hat for that year 's event . They are often hurt , injured , shell shocked , flinching and wincing as they pass by the disposable camera purchased to record the ceremony for posterity . You see , about nine months after moving to L . A . I had found my own apartment . It was a small studio apartment . It had one large room , and a small kitchen . A hallway went around a corner to the bathroom , and in that hallway was a built in dresser , and vanity . The living room had a Murphy bed tucked behind a pair of large doors . I had furnished the whole thing with " found " furniture , which I cleaned up and improved as much as I could , and things that had been given to me by various people I 'd met who felt pity for me . I was very proud of the fact that I had a pretty nice set up , and hadn 't spent any money other than a couple bucks on a few yards of fabric to cover a chair . But I digress . In thRED MOJO Having recently met someone on line who 's distance away from me ( great ) , is about equal to my level of interest in her , I have set about the difficult task of trying to figure how to proceed . The options seem to be : Thank her for the enchanting email moments , and look for something sharp to throw myself on . Sell everything netting a huge loss , since home prices have dropped steadily since I bought mine , and show up homeless and penniless on her doorstep . Win the lottery and fly to her , for , I don 't know . . . maybe three days . See how things go . If they are as good in real life , as they are in glued - to - my - laptop - life , we can do what we want . I 've got millions ! If you 're like me , you like the third option best ! My dad always says , " Your chances of a freight train falling on your head while you 're in the shower are better than your chances of hitting it big in the lottery " . I say , good things can happen just as easily as bad things , and people do win . I 'm a people , why not me ? So I bought three tickets last night . The mega - millions was up to 26 million . I figured I could squeak by on that , so I spent three dollars on a dream . The clerk gave me three separate tickets , instead of 3 picks on one ticket . He said he thought it improved my chances . At least he was on my side ! I took that as a good omen . Yep , this time I think I might really win . This could be the one , I can feel it . They had the drawing last night , and this morning on my way to work I remembered I had those three little tickets in my wallet . I 'll check later I thought , because I probably won , and I really do have to finish this job before I go gallivanting off . I 'll check later , I don 't need the distraction when I 'm trying to frame in a doorway . I worked all day , just like one of the common folk , and had dinner with my parents . I didn 't really think about the tickets I had tucked away . Tickets , or at least one ticket to a new life , one where I can still build furniture if I want to , but I can do it with all the best tools ( like Norm on Old Yankee Workshop ) andRED MOJO While I am busy trying to come up with a wonderfully witty and entertaining story for my blog , I took this test and these are my results . I stole this test from theweyrd1 at Keen Observer of the Human Condition . She 's a ring finger , so she won 't mind . We 're like this ( tries to desperately to wrap pinky and ring finger around each other ) . You Are a PinkyYou are fiercely independent , and possibly downright weird . A great communicator , you can get along with almost anyone . You are kind and sympathetic . You support all your friends - and love them for who they are . You get along well with : The Ring FingerStay away from : The ThumbWhat Finger Are You ? As I drove by the L . A . skyline all light up , I felt so excited . This is where I would begin a new life . Start fresh , reinvent myself . It was about 10pm . I drove out route 10 towards the coast . When I got to Westchester , I called Jeff , the owner of the house I had arranged to rent a room in , as he had instructed me to . I waited at a Carl 's Junior ( a fast food joint like Burger King ) for him . He showed up and said he has some things to talk to me about before we went to the house . I had Johnny , so we drove to the house , dropped off my truck and Johnny , then went to a small nearby women 's bar . We sat at the bar and he bought me a beer . He said , " Since I talked to you , we 've had another house guest move in , his name is Joel , he is renting the other room and he has aids . I didn 't want you to get there and be surprised . " I thought it was very nice of him to tell me , but not really necessary . This meant I would be living in a house with three gay men , Jeff , his lover Steve , and Joel . I told him I was fine with that , and thanked him for his desire to make sure I wouldn 't be upset . " And one more thing , there 's another guy , Chuck , who 's sleeping on the couch in the living room . He 'll only be there for the month . It 's just temporary . " His eyes narrowed as he looked at me to see what my reaction would be . " Okay . " I said , looking around at the first few California lesbians I 'd seen . I met a woman sitting at the bar . She was very nice and told me her girlfriend was in a band , and they would be playing at the Palms , a lesbian bar in West Hollywood , on Friday night if I wanted to come . I thought it might be nice , and said I would try . Jeff and I went to the house , I met everyone , got a tour of the house , and went to my room for a good night 's sleep . The next morning , I opened my eyes , looked out the window , and it was a beautiful day . Blue skies , the sun was shinning , it was warm , but not humid , perfect . I walked to the kitchen grinning . " What a beautiful day ! " I exclaimed . " You 'll get used to it . " Jeff said in a matter of fact RED MOJO The 7th is my birthday . My family got together today for my birthday dinner . My mother who is an excellent cook makes whatever you request for your birthday dinner , and desert . It 's been this way as long as I can remember . On the way to my parent 's house my mom called me . me : " Hi Mom , I 'm on my way . I had to get gas . " Mom : " Oh , I thought maybe you 'd got caught mediating . " me : " Mediating ? Are Laura and Kevin fighting ? " Mom : " Yes , Kevin finally returned Laura 's phone calls today . . . and . . . well , they both are at fault . " There 's more of course , but I won 't bore you with the details of what my brother and sister were fighting about , and how my parents got dragged into it . First one wasn 't going to come , then the other . . . drama drama more drama . They made peace in the nick of time , and everyone showed up for the meal . I was honored of course . Well , this time for the first time ever , I left the meal up to my mother . " Surprise me ! " I said . She made paella , which was wonderful , because she thought it would make everyone happy . My picky meathead brother won 't eat a lot of stuff . But she knew he at least liked chicken . She also put in shrimp and turkey sausage , no mussels , I think I 'm the only one that eats them . Well , he turned his nose up at it completely . Wouldn 't eat any of it ! Not even the saffron rice ! What a dolt ! She made a blueberry lemon cake with white chocolate frosting for desert , which was heavenly by the way . My parents disappeared into the kitchen to get the cake and coffee and when they got back they said they had an announcement to make . " All future birthday meals will be eaten out at restaurants . " You 'd have thought the world just ended . My sister actually started to cry . My poor mother , she 'll be turning 7o this year . She deserves a break . She knocked herself out on this meal and Little Lord Fauntleroy wouldn 't eat any of it . What did they expect ? Since my sister was already in tears , my dad decided it would be a good time to give her career choice advice . She 's always so open to suggestions , and currently betwPosted by My 3 year old Vaio died in December , and I bought a new one . The new one came with Vista software . A LOT of the software I own will not load onto the new laptop . It 's all compatible with Windows98 , 2000 , and XP , but not Vista . Why on EARTH would Bill Gates do this to me ? I 'm sure he doesn 't get that money doesn 't grow on trees , but really . . . am I expected to go buy all new peripherals now ? A new all - in - one , because HP software won 't load properly , a new GPS , new photo - shop , new website software , new Microsoft office , new palm pilot , I mean . . . WTF ? I spent a couple of hours a few nights ago , locating and sifting through old photos , to go with my April Fools / Move to California post , and I found ' em . Pictures of Johnny , of the truck all packed up , the scenery along the way . . . and Vista won 't let me use my scanner ! Suck It Bill Gates ! ! ! ! First a little about my traveling companion , Johnny . A friend of mine had a roommate who 'd adopted Johnny at the pound . I 'd gone over to their place a few times , and when I did , Johnny would always come to where I was sitting and put his chin on my leg . He 'd sit like that as long as I 'd sit in that chair . They would always joke about how he was in love with me . I guess it got to the guy , because one day he asked me if I wanted him . I did . He had some issues , but we worked them out , and he was great company and made me feel safe sleeping in the back of the truck with me . On with the trip . We left Virginia and we headed through West Virginia on our way to our first stop , Columbus Ohio . I had an old Army buddy living there with her girlfriend and planned to spend that night in a comfortable bed . While we were passing through the mountains in W . V . storm hit us . It was raining like crazy . A car passed me on an incline and the passenger pointed up at the roof and shook his head . Huh ? What the hell is that supposed to mean ? I wondered . I looked in the rear view at the roof . My bike , where was it ? I pulled over and got out . No bike , it was gone . Oh my God ! That bike was my only mode of transportation for two years . This truck wasn 't going to last , I need that thing , and loved it . Huge 18 wheelers were flying up the mountain , I had this sick feeling I 'd find it completely destroyed . I got in the truck and backed down the shoulder , all the trucks blew their horns at me , I didn 't care . I kept going , then a transportation dept . vehicle with his yellow light flashing pulled up behind me . He was all dressed yellow rain gear from head to foot . He told me I shouldn 't be backing down the shoulder , it was very dangerous . I told him I knew that , but my bike fell off , and I needed it . He smiled , I picked it up for you . He went and got it . It was alright . It hadn 't been run over . The forks were bent from the fall , but I could get that fixed ! I was so happy , I hugged him , and he laughed . I put the bike in the back , in my sleeping spacRED MOJO My truck looked like this one , only without the shine , and add a big ugly camper shell . On this April Fool 's Day in 1993 , my dog Johnny and I , set out on our journey to California . I had a beater pick - up truck that I bought for about $ 400 and then put another $ 400 into it to make sure it would make the trip across the country . I built a false bottom up above the wheel wells in the bed . The bottom was packed with clothes and keepsakes . The top was where I planned to sleep . It had a camper shell on it , and a roof rack up on top of that , which I strapped my plastic wrapped bicycle to . The front wheel of my bike was in the small space between the bench seat and the back of the cab . It was a dull dark grey Mazda that looked like it had been through hell and back . In a condensed version , the events that had lead up to this day were , after I finished my active duty in the Army , I decided to stay in the DC area , which was where I 'd been for the last couple of years . It wasn 't because it was such a great place to live , it was because that 's where my girlfriend at the time was from , and all of her family was there . . . blah blah blah . I lived in that part of the country for nine of the most miserable years of my life . A friend of mine from Cape Cod was visiting me one day at the restaurant where I was a sous chef , and asked , " Why do you choose to live here ? " I looked at her blankly . She rephrased , " You could do what you do anywhere in the world . Why , of all places , have you decided to live here ? " I hadn 't really thought about it quite that way before . Things had long since ended with the local girl I 'd been involved with , why was I here ? That was the seed being planted . I didn 't think about it again for quite a while . A year later , my job was eating my life , and I was frustrated with the total lack of balance . I was at work from 10am to midnight five days a week . I had just enough time between lunch and dinner to shoot home and walk my dog . I lived nearby . I had Monday and Wednesday off . No one else has those days off ! I had toPosted by I am a 40 - something year - old lesbian , with just enough writing ability to be dangerous . If you enjoy my blog , I hope you 'll follow , and check out some of the blogs I follow . They are all terribly gifted and unique . If you have time to read this . . . isn 't there something more productive you could be doing ? Get Tracy to Caroline
|
In my 22 years of life , there have been many many memorable Christmases ! Memories like : The times we drove from Texas to Missouri every other year to be with family . As kids we packed the suburban full of toy and coloring books to keep us busy . Sometimes we would lay all the seats down and lay blankets out like we were camping out ! The times something went wrong in the kitchen . . . . burning things , forgetting to even make certain items , the year mom was so sick Dad had to do it ALL ! The other time mom was so sick after surgery that we just had Christmas with our immediate family in our PJ 's and having Missouri family join us a day or two later . The times Grandma Ellie complained that her stuffing just wasn 't as good as it normally is , but really it tasted better to me every year ! The Christmases without certain family members due to deaths and remembering to count our blessings because of it . Adding new babies and husbands through the years . Getting a kick out of the funny things kids say and do . Or getting annoyed by the things kids say and do . Decorating the house up and down to look like the North Pole . Playing board games after supper and gifts ! Mom giving her mom a mink coat she won on stage with Mary Kay and seeing her face ! So many memorable gifts given over the years that were so special to us . Mine in particular , a new car ! Me coining the phrase when I was about 6 , " IT ' S JUST WHAT I WANTED ! ! " when opening EVERY gift and meaning it with all my heart ! Lauren eating a Macadamia Nut cookie on Christmas Eve not knowing she was allergic to it . She woke up the next morning with her eyes swollen shut and her face as round as a balloon ! Every picture of her she held her gift in front of her face . : - ( Poor Lauren . Shelley using a roll of tape per gift and everyone making sure they told her she used too much ! Love ya Shell ! Dave being pissed at how messy the house was after opening gifts . I could go on and on ! ! But this year , adding another memory to all the above is something so special that I 'll always remember . Looking back at thPosted by It seems as though since Josh got home , I have been slacking on my blog posts . So , here 's something to write about . A perfect morning as a nanny ! First , I wake up and realize my hair still looks great from it 's 4 : 00 pm wash the previous afternoon , so I went back to bed for more sleep . When this happens , my heart is happy ! Then I get to work and get Jonah ready for gym class at this place . Which in itself always makes for a perfect morning ! He loves it there ! As his dad walks out the door he informs me that Noah has a Christmas party at school and they will be attending and then taking him out to lunch afterwards . When they do something like that , they usually don 't have him home until 2ish . But that also means that Jonah doesn 't get his little 20 minute nap in the car while waiting on Noah to get out of school . Which means he 's WAY cranky during the two hour gap between lunch and nap . : - ( No fun . Well today was a different story . He even started the whole day off by giving me big hugs and kisses . He can be really lovey if he wants . I had a few errands to run after gym class and he was prefect through them all . Just as sweet as could be . Around 11 : 30 we headed home and he fell asleep just a few minutes from the house . I figured he would wake up though when I got him out of the car , but not this time ! He was sound asleep ! So what do I do ? TAKE ADVANTAGE ! ! ! I carried him in and plopped us both down on the couch for a 30 minute nap ! IT WAS PERFECT ! Cuddle time with the cutest one year old I know AND a nap ! Can I hear an amen for naps and a perfect day ? ! * * * * * * * * UPDATE : 2 DAYS JUST LIKE THIS IN A ROW ! ! ! WAHOO ! ! ! ! ! * * * * * * * * FINALLY . . . HERE THEY ARE ! ! ! ! Wow , I can 't believe I already got to see him and left again . One thing is for sure , I HATE BEING AWAY FROM HIM ! I 'm telling you what , when he 's stationed somewhere stable and we can swing it financially , I 'll be moving asap ! I will say it was quite a different visit , but what do you expect after someone has just gone through 8 weeks of hard core boot camp ! While we ( his family and I ) were in Waukegan , he still had to report back at night to the base , wash up , and be on the toe line ready for role call . If he was even a second late he could lose his leave the next day . So , to say the least , we always got him there early ! Having freedom all of a sudden was quite an adjustment . Plus , exhaustion consumed him . Poor guy . It was so great to see him and spend some time with him too . I know that as soon as he 's away from that base , he 'll start to be back to his old self . I can only try to imagine what he went through and I can do my best to understand all his stories , but there 's no possible way I will truly know . A huge part of me wishes I could have gone through it all to be able to help him . He has some light regret about his decision , but more so he said it 's a " what have I gotten myself into " kind of feeling . He also said , " Lane ! College would have been SOOO much easier ! " I laughed and said , " Well you can just remember that to tell your kids someday . . . GO TO COLLEGE ! " He leaves in the morning around 4 or 5 am to go to " A School " . We 've thought Pensacola for such a long time , but it could really end up being anywhere . He was also informed they could choose to not send him to school and hold off on that , and instead ship him off for 6 - 12 months . AH ! That is our worst fear for sure . And of course we 've had our sights set on San Diego for " C School " , but that can always change as well . Uncertainty it such a booger . That is definitely stressful for both of us , but we know that God is faithful and will always chose what 's right for us . I was hoping for a phone call today after Josh found out where hePosted by Sorry I 've dropped the ball on last weeks update . . . . it was a busy week . But , I GOT TWO LETTERS LAST WEEK ! ! Wahoo ! I got my normal Wednesday letter , but then opened my mailbox on Friday to see another letter ! ! Josh got some extra time off on Veteran 's day to write another letter . What a treat ! Let 's see , letter # 7 : I 've been here 46 days and have 12 left ! I 'm so anxious to see everybody . I 'm taking tests all the time and studying a lot to keep up . I have gas chamber tomorrow . Nervous . Very nervous . I had my performance test yesterday in front of the CO Commanding Officer of the Navy Admiral Roughhead . HUGH ! Performed in front of 5 , 000 people . I was in the very front ! So nervous , but I did just fine . I wasn 't moved up to E2 or E3 because my recruiter never sent in the paperwork for the recruits I got in . That sucks pretty bad ! My first paycheck was only $ 271 because of all the stuff I had to buy . That sucks pretty bad too . Moving on . . . letter # 8 : It 's a Tuesday today , and also Veteran 's Day . So we get like 4 hours to ourselves to get caught up on things : folding , studying , and ironing . I had to make sure to write you though . I pray you 're okay and healthy . I miss you so much . I ONLY HAVE 10 DAYS LEFT ! So close ! I can 't wait to see you and family ! I wont be hard to find due to being in the front row of everyone . I hope your dad isn 't working too hard on the house . . . bet it looks awesome ! I wish I could write more , but I really need to study . Love you so much ! WELL , ONLY 4 MORE DAYS UNTIL I SEE HIM ! ! ! I work at the salon on Thursday until around 7 or so , and after that I 'll drive to Chicago to meet up with his parents and one of his brothers . I believe Josh will have the rest of Friday off after his graduation , and most of Saturday and Sunday to do whatever he pleases . I ' M SO EXCITED ! ! ! Three days to spend with him and some of his family . Sounds pretty exciting to me ! I bought the cutest new dress to wear Friday . . . you 'll just have to wait and see pictures next week . . . but it 's just too darn cute ! ; - ) I can 't believe 60 days has almosPosted by I 've just done awful at getting recipes up every Friday . So Tuesday it will be to make up for last week ! ; - ) Try these . . . THEY ARE AMAZING ! ! ! With Christmas only 6 weeks away . . . CRAZY HUH ? . . . these are perfect to get you in the mood for decorating and Christmas shopping ! If . ou 've ever had Crinkle Cookies , these are very similar - but with mint ! Chocolate Mint Snow - Top CookiesINGREDIENTS : 1 1 / 2 cups all - purpose flour1 1 / 2 teaspoon baking powder1 / 4 teaspoon salt1 1 / 2 cups mint flavored semi - sweet chocolate morsels6 Tablespoons butter , softened1 cup sugar1 1 / 2 teaspoon vanilla extract2 eggsConfectioners sugarDIRECTIONS : In bowl , combine flour , baking powder and salt ; set aside . Over hot water , melt 1 cup mint morsels , stirring until smooth . In bowl , beat butter and sugar until creamy . Add melted morsels and vanilla . Beat in eggs . Gradually beat in flour mixture . Stir in remaining morsels . Wrap dough in plastic wrap ; freeze until firm . Preheat oven to 350 degrees . Shape dough into 1 - inch balls ; coat with confectioners sugar . Place on ungreased cookie sheet . Bake 10 - 12 minutes , until tops appear cracked . Let stand 5 minutes on cookie sheet . Cool completely . ENJOY ! Oh how nice it was to receive letter # 6 ! He said he just finished " Hell Week " , so they say , and it was his favorite week so far ! haha Ironic . They call it that because there are so many inspections that are really tough and people just get reamed for every little thing wrong . He had mentioned in a past letter that the trainers don 't really remember his name . . . which is a good thing there ! If they know your name it 's because they yell at you a lot . So , it seems like they don 't ream him too much . When we talked on the phone he chose not to tell me about some of the things they have yelled in his face because it 's pretty disgusting . So I guess when they yell at him it 's not for screwing up . . . . just the normal yelling . Anyway , he succeed this week again in not giving them a reason to know his name . Only to remember it for being impressed I hope ! He scored a 5 . 0 ( highest you can get ) on ALL his inspections ! Ya that 's right . . . he 'll be doing the cleaning and bed making in our house . . . I 'll just remind him he does a 5 . 0 job and I don 't ! hahaHe got his uniform tailored and took his picture . He said , " I looked real good Lane . . . I mean REAL good ! " haha They always say , " You gotta love a man in uniform ! " I guess we 'll find out right ! ? So I sent him something kind of embarrassing . . . you know those sound cards ? ? Now they have them where you can record a 10 second message . Um , DUH ! I totally got one of those to send him ! haha He said they played it in front of everyone several times . OOPS ! I wasn 't mushy in my recording , but it did play some corney love song at the end of it ! Although , he did say it was good to hear my voice and he liked it a lot . . . . just not everyone listening to it over and over again ! He was also so sweet to offer his bank info in MO so I can access money if I needed to . He 's precious I tell you . I turned him down on that because I want him to save all of that , but still thought it was so sweet he wanted to make sure I was okay on money . And to answer my friend 's question from her comment on my last blog . . . YES ! I DO lovePosted by Well , this letter wasn 't so nice to read . I knew Josh was sick , but he kept saying that if he went to the doctor that his graduation date could be pushed back , so he wasn 't going to go . And for Josh to give in a go to the doctor is a MAJOR MAJOR deal ! I can 't stress that enough . HUGE DEAL ! But he ended up going to the doctor and was ordered a 2 day SIQ ( Sick In Quarters ) . Which means he has to stay in bed all day long . He didn 't say anything about it extending his stay there , but I 'll ask and find out next week hopefully . Please pray for him . . . it sounds as though he 's very sick . The doctor even said he was really tough and was clueless to why he hadn 't come in there sooner . His letter was written on the back of a letter I had previously sent him . He said he has very little spare room to put his personal stuff , so he 'll slowly be sending letters back for me to keep so he isn 't forced to throw them away . He 's not enjoying boot camp ( but who is suppose to enjoy it right ? ? ) and can 't sleep at all . He said he thinks about me when he feels really bad ( which is a lot ! ! ) . He said he imagines us sitting around my house watching a movie together and it helps him not feel so bad . He received a card from my parents and thought that was really nice . He 's having a hard time with studying . That 's never been a strong point of his . . . hence him not finishing college . . . just not his thing . He said he can 't remember things very well and it 's just not sticking . His Aunt Terri sent him some pictures of us from his birthday / going away weekend at the lake with his whole family . He said all the guys saw it and though I was cute . . hehe . Then he randomly went into health care stuff . He said that when we get married I will have full health care and we can add dental on it for like $ 15 ( how do you like that mom ? ! ha ! ) . He 's had a lot of bills this month . . . totaling $ 800 . . . which is taken out of his pay in the end . He wasn 't too thrilled about that at all . I sure hope he gets to feeling better soon . I hate that he 's sick and not able to do his bestJosh and Lane Whitlock I must start off by saying I 'm wearing a darn cute outfit today that I bought here just the other day . And why is it that when you have on a new outfit you feel invincible ? I dunno why , but today I definitely did ! Therefore I took both kids here today for lunch ( which we do every other week or so ) ! But this one had a Play Place ! ; - ) Which , I had never let Jonah , the 17 month old , play in . But remember , I feel invincible today ! So we walk in , get our food , sit inside the Play Place to eat , and chow down ! After finishing , both boys were eager to get down and play . Noah got done earlier than Jonah so he went and played by himself for a while and made friends with another boy there named Noah ( we 'll call him Noah2 ) . I sat and contemplated on letting Jonah play in it or not , because I definitely didn 't want to crawl all up in there to help him . But remember , I feel invincible today ! So I decided that if Noah helped Jonah he should be just fine . Jonah and I go to a kids gym class every week and is exceptional in his climbing skills , falling and picking himself back up like nothing happened skills , and playing well with others skills . So , what the heck . . . why not right ? ! Remember , I feel invincible today ! Everything went great ! ! The whole time they were playing great ! Noah and Noah2 never left Jonah and took great care of him . I could hear them laughing the whole time . . . too cute ! Noah comes down the slide and says , " Um Miss Lane , I can 't find the baby . " ( Why he called his brother " the baby , " I have no idea . ) I said , " Well I can hear him , so go look at the top of the green slide . " Just then , I hear Noah2 yell , " FOUND HIM ! ! ! " It wasn 't long after that he comes sliding down the slide on his belly giggling the whole way down . But wait . . . WHERE ARE HIS PANTS ? ! ? That 's right . . . a pantless Jonah just slid down the slide . . . also missing one sock . He 's been having " problems " lately with leaking out of his diapers due to some medicine he takes . Let 's just say it 's called " Diaper Chocolate . " So of course fear struck in knowing that it was juPosted by On my way home from work today , I prayed to hear from Josh soon . I just really needed to hear his voice and to hear how he is really doing . I walked into my apartment at 6 : 00 , and my phone rang at 6 : 15 . And yes , it was my sweet Joshua ! We were blessed to talk for 30 minutes ! ! ! GOD IS SOOOOOO GOOD ! ! ! ! He started the conversation off talking so fast . He wasn 't sure how long of a call he was going to get , so as soon as he started , there wasn 't much stopping him . He sounded different . First off , his throat is hurting him bad , so that had to do with it sounding different , but there was something else to it . More mature I believe . He explained things to me he has written in letters that I didn 't quite understand . Like the importance of being in the Honor Guard and exactly how awesome it is that he 's in the 900 division . The Honor Guard means that he gets to carry rifles and it 's quite an honor to be in . Also , they hand pick 78 guys ( 1 already quit . . . so now it 's 77 ) to be in the 900 division . Being in this is an honor , but also means they move through things faster , are expected to have more leadership , and have more tests ( therefore having to study harder ) . Which it sounds like he 's doing well on all the tests . . . physical and classroom tests . He 's made good friends with a guy , Snodgrass ( they don 't go by their first names , so he 's not too sure what it is . . . . he has an idea , but I forgot what he said ) . Snodgrass is actually going to be going to Pensacola afterwards as well . I 'm glad he 'll have a buddy there . . . maybe they can room together or something . I called Dana , his mom , after we talked to fill her in on everything and she told me some things he wrote in the last letter they received . I think everyone 's favorite line is , " I can make my bed better , take a shower faster , and shine my boots brighter than the other 76 ! " Boy doesn 't lack confidence does he ? haha Okay let 's see . . . what else did he say . He 'll be graduating , if all goes well , on the 21st of November . He can only have 4 people come to his graduation and has beePosted by In honor of the Fall season and a sweet friend , a wonderful pie recipe that 's easy on the Big D . Filling for Autumn Pumpkin Pie - a low calorie , low fat recipe for pumpkin pie 1 can pumpkin 1 / 2 cup of egg substitute OR 2 egg white and one yolk 1 / 2 cup sugar plus 6 packets of Equal 1 tsp of cinnamon , ginger , cloves 1 / 4 teaspoon nutmeg 1 - 12 ounce can of skimmed evaporated milk Mix pumpkin with eggs then add milk . Mix dry ingredients and carefully add to wet . Crust - a low calorie , low fat recipe for pumpkin pie 1 1 / 4 cups all purpose flour 1 / 4 teaspoon salt 3 Tablespoons of low - fat margarine OR refrigerated butter spray ( 0 calories type ) 4 Tablespoons of ice water 2 - 9 " pie plates Combine ingredients , form ball , roll out between two pieces of waxed paper that have been lightly dusted with flour . Spray pie plate with no - calorie cooking spray and carefully transfer crust . Fill with prepared filling and place into a 425 degree preheated oven for about 10 minutes . Reduce the heat to 350 degrees and cook for about 30 minutes longer . Topping - a low calorie , low fat recipe for pumpkin pie 1 small container of lite whipped topping cinnamon Slice chilled pie and top with the lite topping and a small dusting of cinnamon if desired . Makes 2 pies , or 16 servings for about 150 calories per slice . Enjoy ! Well , today was a LOOOOONG day working at the salon . When I mean long , I mean from 9 to 9 . . . . ya . STINK ! Also , my mom called me while I was at work to inform me that my Papa Kenny ( her dad ) was being rushed to the hospital for a possible heart attack . She called back later to tell me it wasn 't a heart attack , they had treated all his symptoms , but notice bleeding internally and they don 't know where it 's coming from ( if I understood all that right ) . They are doing many more tests in the morning , so please say a prayer for him . My letter didn 't come yesterday like normal because of Columbus Day , so I got home to a lovely letter from my lovely this evening . Just what I needed to perk me up . And this time , the letter was 3 pages long ! ! ! THE BEST YET ! ! ! In the past , it 's only been 1 because he hasn 't had much time . This time around , a friend of his that went to boot camp with him , and actually got put in his division , was on duty that night and let him write a letter ! How sweet huh ? ! So , I know you 're probably dying to know what 's in the letter . RIGHT ? ? Oh right , that was just me . . . ALL DAY ! Wanting to get home asap to read my letter ! So here it is . . . some quotes from " The Best Yet " : I 'm doing better . I can 't tell you how I 'm changing . I don 't have the time and if I got started I wouldn 't be able to stop . I love you Lane so much ! ! ! I could write you all day . I 'm going through a lot and it 's about time . It 's all good changes . I 'm ready to spend the rest of my life with you . I hope you 're doing okay . Tell everybody to send more letters . . . it means so much . I just past my swimming test . . . easy . I 'm not getting much sleep , which sucks . I have a PE Test tomorrow . . . hope it goes well . I think I 've gained 10 pound . . . . of fat . I 'm not getting a good workout yet . 1 guy already quit . I got a job in my division . PLO ! Tell my dad that , he will laugh . I noticed my hair grows faster than everybody else 's . I enjoy ironing . . . I ironed 76 handkerchiefs today . ( YIPPIE ! He 'll be doing the ironing ! ) We are busy from 5 am to 10 pm every night . I cry at nighPosted by I 've studied the Proverbs 31 Woman many times at different church events and Bible studies , but what I love most about studying this woman multiple times is the different things you pick up each time . Don 't you agree that the Bible is the ONLY book that when you read the same sentence ten times , it means something different to you each time ? I LOVE THAT ! I 'm studying the Woman of the Bible , a book I studied with my high school girls when I was a youth intern in Texas , again and am finding new applications in my life this time around . Being in a different place in life than last time play a HUGE role in that . I 'm out of college , dating the man I will marry , and am working full time trying to build a business . I would definitely say that 's significantly different from 3 years ago ! Reading through the study of the " Virtuous Woman " in this book was so rewarding . Of course , I had to write Josh about everything I was learning too . Writing it down for him to understand was the best thing I could have done for myself . Does that sound selfish ? It feels like I personally understand it more and am more excited about becoming that woman now that I 've written it out . So , to help encourage others and to keep me excited , I 've decided to copy down what I wrote in Josh 's letter . Here we go ! The virtuous woman isn 't the yardstick by which we should be measured with , but our goal toward where we should be moving . Which is a huge relief , because this woman seems impossible to be exactly like her ! She 's seriously amazing … " ideal " … and I 'm striving to be like her . There are three different areas these verses talk about : 1 ) development of character , 2 ) labor , and 3 ) relationships . But first , the passage begins by telling a man what kind of woman he should seek in a wife . She should be of noble character , worth far more than rubies , he has full confidence in her , and she lacks nothing of value . Breaking it down , she fears the Lord and receives favor from the Lord because of all of those things . The list of charaPosted by So , with my letters from Josh coming in on Wednesday 's , I know I 'll be wanting to blog about it right then and there . Therefore , Recipe Wednesday 's will now be Recipe Friday 's ! ! Why not right ? ? A fun recipe to try out for the weekend ! This weeks recipe . . . AN ALL TIME FAVORITE ! ! ! POPPY SEED CHICKEN6 - 8 chicken breasts ( chopped and cooked ) 16 oz . Sour Cream2 cans Cream of Chicken Soup4 Tablespoons Poppy SeedSalt and Pepper to taste2 tubes of Ritz crackers2 sticks of margarineCook and dice chicken breasts . In large bowl , mix sour cream , soup , poppy seeds , salt , and pepper . Stir in chicken breasts and put in 9x13 pan . Crush Ritz crackers and mix with melted margarine . Top chicken with cracker mixture . Bake at 350 degrees for 30 - 45 minutes . Great served over steamed rice ! Serves 8 + . Enjoy ! UPDATE : I called the Naval Command center this morning to see what their policy was on letters sent to the wrong division number . Their policy is to look up the last name in the roster and reroute the letter . If not found , they return the letters to the sender ! SO ! ! Hopefully all of the letters will come to him at once and he 'll feel much better ! I over - nighted my letter today so he 'll have something to read before he writes his third letter on Sunday night . Dang , I must love him a lot to pay $ 15 to mail a letter ! ! ! hehe I got my second letter today from Josh . The first thing I read is . . . . " I 've been here over 15 days and haven 't got a letter from you . . . . every night the letters are passed out . . . Josh never gets one . " I ' M SO MAD I COULD THROW UP ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! I immediately called his mother to tell her the address was wrong . Come to find out , they received an official letter from the Navy with the correct address , didn 't think much about it ( HOW DO YOU NOT THINK ABOUT IT ? ! ? ! ) , and never informed me about it either . They too have been sending their letters to the wrong address . So , my dear love hasn 't received a letter from anyone the whole time he 's been there . That just breaks my heart ! I started calling the recruiting offices in Springfield , as well as the actually Training Command Center that he 's located at . I left messages and will hopefully hear back first thing in the morning . . . . ya riiiight . . . . but you know I 'll be calling again in the morning ! ! Surely those letters , probably 15 total from his parent and I ( not including aunts and cousins that I know have sent some too ) , are somewhere ! I just hope their policy isn 't to throw them away if sent to the wrong place . That would just make me sad all over again if they have been thrown away . I hope they are stored somewhere or being sent back to the senders . AH , I ' M JUST SO MAD ! Anyway , the update from his letter sounded much better ! He 's doing better , he misses me a lot , he hates the glasses he has to wear , and got some really cool boots . ( He 's pretty random in his writing . . . all over the place . ) One thing I was SOOOO happy to hear was that every night before bed , a group of 25 of the guys ( about 1 / 3 of them ) gather together and pray as a group . HOW COOL ! ! ! ! ! ! How blessed is he to have a group like that there ! I couldn 't believe what I was reading . It just lit up my face ! I will say , for a moment , I forgot the first line of the letter when reading about the prayer group ! But then , of course , I remembered about the first line of the letter and once again , got frustrated and very upset . So I end myPosted by So at the beginning of this week I began to get very anxious to receive an address of Josh 's location . His mom , Dana , had tried to get it several times from his recruiter , but he wasn 't helpful at all . On my drive home from work Wednesday I got frustrated about it all ! It 's not like his recruiter didn 't know what it was , he just wouldn 't return Dana 's calls and avoided her . . . ugggg . I get home , look in my mailbox . . . nothing . : - ( But wait , I walk in the door to see my roommate sitting there . She usually works nights , but called in sick that day . Thus , she had already picked up the mail . THERE IT WAS ! ! ! ! ! ! The most beautiful thing I 've ever received in the mail . My very first letter from Joshua ! And yes , I say that name with so much sweetness in my voice . I just miss him so much . I 've had my good days and I 've had my bad days . Mostly I just get emotional laying in bed at night talking to God about it all . Although , when I catch myself just having a pity party because I 'm lonely and want to talk to him , I snap out of it asap . I think about Josh being the one in the new place with so many new changes . All I changed was not getting to talk to him on the phone . A big change for us since it 's our main connection , but still . . . he 's the one going through so much . I 'm just so thankful I 'm able to have great support from family and friends . I tell ya , Lauren Frazier has been the best friend a girl can have . She checks in often , prays for Josh and I over the phone , and is such an encouragement ! God has blessed me for sure ! So , you 're probably wanting to know if the letter was sweet and mushy . . . . NOPE ! haha First off , he 's just not like that normally . Secondly , they read everything going out and coming in . And if they find something good to read in front of everyone to embarrass someone , they don 't hesitate . So here it is . . . I 'll share it all : Dear Lane , Wow , I can not tell you how different this is than I expected . I was way wrong . It 's hard , very hard ! I love you very much . I am trying very hard to stay focused . I have been told by Posted by Josh and Lane Whitlock , married February of 2009 . Josh serves in the Navy as a jet mechanic and Lane is the owner and lead photographer of Whitlock Photography and is also a beauty consultant with Mary Kay Cosmetics . We are a Christian couple who loves God , loves family , and loves going on adventures ! We welcomed our first baby on 11 - 8 - 11 into the family , Christian Dean Whitlock , and have been smitten with him ever since !
|
I was just on my way home from watching The Office with my mom . I could get off exit 7 or 6 to get home , and as I drove around the ramp onto alternate 7 , I wondered why I hadn 't chosen the other exit . I decided that the convenience of either is probably equal , as one involves more stoplights at the beginning part , and the other at the end . As I waited at a stoplight on 6th , I noticed the vehicle next to me creeping forward . I know exactly what it 's doing . . . I tend to do it myself . The right hand lane becomes a right hand turning lane , so if you want to pass the line of cars in the left lane , you 've gotta step on it . I inch forward also , letting the driver know that I 'm awake and not planning to hesitate when the light turns green . A right hand turning arrow lit up and said vehicle ( which happened to be a Jeep Cherokee ) almost drove through it . When the light really did turn green , we both stepped on it , nose to nose , with the Jeep pushing me into the other lane . Finally I decided that winning was not worth crashing my new car , so I slowed up . But I was angry . Doing the right hand speed up lane thing is a jerk move . I know , because I often do it . For some reason , however , I think that it should only be employed and pushed if the other person is old or slow and would thus be in the way . So , in my view , this Jeep was being a jerk . I lay on my horn for . . . I don 't know , probably about a minute . I would have laid on it longer had we not been approaching the police station . I high - beamed on and off , figuring that my station wagon was most likely not tall enough to have any effect . As the Jeep took a right on route 2 ( congress ? fulton ? the west bound one ) I started to dread the fact that I would have to be turning left soon , and this is another two laned road and said Jeep would probably try to race me again . Instead , the Jeep pulled into the first left hand turning lane and took a left on 5th . As he waited for the opportunity to turn , I honked again as I drove by . I got a look at him , he looked angry and confused . I mouthCourtesy of Yesterday I was subbing in this middle school . Apparently , many teachers were out on some sort of conference , and the kids were going berserk . There was an announcement early in the day stating that any kid getting kicked out of class would be suspended for the rest of the week . The previous day I had subbed in the same classroom , and I only attempted to kick one kid out . He walked out of the classroom , and a monitor never came to escort him anywhere . The monitor showed up 24 hours after the fact , looking for him . When I said that he never showed up to class that day , the monitor said something about that student threatening to beat someone up . Maybe I 'm glad he didn 't show . At the very end of the day , I kept an eye on the clock . When I sub art classes , I like to give 5 minutes for cleanup . There was 6 minutes to go . A janitor peeked in and said " it 's chair time , isn 't it ? " because she wanted the student to put their stools up before they left . I tried to say ' no , no , not for another minute ' but it was too late , the kids already put their stools up , and refused to keep working , because , after all , they 'd already cleaned up . A minute may not seem like a big deal to you , but a full sixty seconds of trying to make sure students aren 't sneaking out into the hallway , beating each other up , or doing any other terrible thing that I see them get into when they 're not otherwise occupied is rather stressful . The janitor recognized her mistake and apologized profusely . After the bell rang , she came in and apologized some more . " Yea . . . people do this to me a lot , " I told her flatly . Several days prior , a T . A . called clean up 3 - 4 minutes earlier than I had intended . When I explained that I was waiting for a certain time , and that I was going to let the students leave at the time specified on the teacher 's plans , she had said , yea yea it takes them a long time to clean up . Then she excused herself and slid out the door as the entire class stared at me expectantly for a full 4 minutes . Jerk . So this janitor must be trying to makeCourtesy of I met this guy the other day . He was nice enough , and from our initial awkward interaction , I figured we wouldn 't have much of a conversation . Of course , I was mostly wrong about this as he soon began asking me questions about myself and telling me a bit about him . Soon we got onto the topic of gardening , which , apparently , we both do a little of . He talked about how his tomatoes didn 't do well this year , and I said : " Oh , yea , we had the blight , " but he continued on about how he wasn 't affected by this and talked about all the rain , and how the only thing that did well were squash . I told him about how last year I grew a lot of carrots , all in one plot and they did really well , but this year I interspersed them with everything else and I didn 't get as many . He explained to me that carrots like sandy soil , and I already was aware of this , but didn 't feel like making sure he knew that . Then he started talking about how slugs have been eating his zucchini plants , how they eat the flowers ( which I didn 't know ) and then explained how the flowers are necessary , because the zucchini grows from them . Seriously ? I think I 've known this since I was 10 . And honestly , are you not listening to me when I say that I have a community garden plot ? That I grow things ? That I 've been growing things ? Why are you assuming that I don 't know this stuff ? Later in our conversation , he started talking about things he 's studying in school , and before explaining something , he would ask if I was familiar with it . I think he would have been safer assuming I didn 't know anything about his area of expertise , and asking about my familiarity with gardening . No one likes being talked down to . Also , the other night , I asked one of my good friends if . . . in six years , if no one loves me , if he would assist in my having children . After a brief discussion as to why I would want or need him for this and not some hobo , he recognized the query as a compliment , and stated that he has six years to think about it . I added that our children would be really cute . Courtesy of Do you remember that song / hand game : Where is Thumbkin ? It has to be british . Thumbkin ? We would never have come up with that . Also , " very well , I thank you . . . " I don 't know . Today I was imagining small British children singing the song instead of the American children who reminded me that it existed . This year I 'm subbing in the same districts that I subbed in last year . This is the first time that my subbing has spanned the gap of a summer break in a given district . It is less comforting that I would think it to be , as schools move classrooms around , and make other changes . This morning I subbed in my favorite elementary school . They apparently changed the part where they 're my favorite . Generally , with this school , you sign in when you arrive , tell the woman in the office who you are , and she tells you what classroom to go to . Then you go to the classroom , where there are plans on said teacher 's desk , a detailed schedule , specific tasks for that specific day . Generally , when I sub for a special ed teacher in this school she ( it 's always a she ) has a lunch , a plan period , and then ludicrous amounts of free time in between the students she works with . Today I was to work two half days at the same school . The morning would be for a special ed teacher , and the afternoon for a regular classroom teacher . When I arrived not only was the sign in book missing , but the whole table where it had sat was gone entirely . Also hiding was the woman who tells me where to go . They had apparently given her her own office , which may or may not come with increased responsibilities . Also changed was the ease of exchanged we generally have . She looked pained as she sifted through e - mails and papers trying to figure out where I was supposed to be . She went and found me sub folders . Now , these are a staple in some schools , but not once last year was there made even a mention of these . She handed me a nearly empty one from the special ed teacher , and one that contained nearly a half ream of paper ( literally ) from the classroom teacher . TCourtesy of Dear Socially Progressive Parents who allow their son 's hair to grow long , Please don 't cut your son bangs . OR , if you do , please accept that , in many situations , your little boy will be mistaken for a little girl . I don 't regret making the mistake , but I hope I didn 't cause him humiliation . Sincerely , Emily Sometimes it is necessary to lie to children . I don 't generally advocate it . Mostly , what I do is tell the truth , however relatively that may be . Sometimes I lie out of annoyance . After getting asked at least 10 times daily if I 'm related to Lance , Louie , or Neil , I just start answering flatly : " yes . " The student asking will then grin , look at me and exclaim : " No , you 're not ! " So if you didn 't really think so , why 'd you ask ? Yesterday I was subbing in an elementary art room . I was reading a book to the class , and having the students make predictions . I would take these until it started to get a little redundant or silly ; then I would move on . One little girl started crying . When I asked her what was wrong , she whined : " IIII didn 't get a tuuurrrrnn ! " " Neither did I ! " I said , exasperated . This is less of a lie , and more just incongruous . In the same elementary art room , with an older class , I found one student had made it his mission to be a thorn in my side . After 20 minutes of distruption and insubordination , said student started asking to go to the bathroom . I would tell him no , and he would accept this , returning a while later with the same question . At one point he pressed further why I wouldn 't let him go . " Maybe I would have if you weren 't being such a wiseahhh . . . . " I almost said it . But I didn 't . I didn 't look for his reaction , I didn 't want him to see the look of horror on my face that comes with almost swearing at a little boy . He turned , and quietly asked : " Did . . . did you just . . . say the a w - " I cut him off : " crack . I said Wisecrack . " Sometimes I lie to children because it is less complicated than confessing . Tonight I went to see Where The Wild Things Are with my parents . My dad hated it . My mom thought it was mediocre . I thought it was great . Perhaps I 'm partial , as a Karen O and Dave Eggers fan ( Eggers who has been criticized for being overly twee ) , but I 'm not sure that this was it . I was annoyed by the large amounts of kids in the theater , and I wonder if they enjoyed the film as much as I did . The score was melodic , mysterious , and whimsical in a way that felt very Arcade Fire - ian ( though was actually Yeah Yeah Yeah 's Karen O plus a team of indie rock 's finest , and a choir of children ) . The film was very nuanced , which I told my father was the reason he didn 't like it ( he complained it had no plot ) . I appreciate a film that respects its audience as intelligent enough to not have to be told where to draw the connections . That being said , I could see clear connections between the Wild Things and issue 's in Max 's real world . The characters were complex , and I think that the audience , along with the main character have learned something about themselves by the time the film is finished . I wonder if two weeks is enough time to make a costume . We know that doing damaging things to our bodies has been in high fashion for many years . ( Consider the corset or perhaps chinese foot binding ) . Though these were physically damaging , were they as emotionally damaging as the impossible ideals our society has set ? I once spent a good six months trying to convince a close friend that the girls in myspace pictures were not more pretty than her , they just were wearing more makeup . Thanks computers . And take a look at this monstrosity . 35 . An Abundance of Katherines - John Green35 a . ( AB ) Feed - M . T . Anderson36 . Paper Towns - John Green37 . YouTube : An Insider 's Guide to Climbing the Charts - Alan Lastufka & Michael W . Dean38 . Essays on the Blurring of Art and Life - Allan Kaprow The other night at my small group , someone brought up Aslan , who was apparently clearly God when Narnia is . . . earth ? I haven 't read them . Anyhow , right at the time when Sam was saying " . . . the Chronicles of Narnia . . . " right exactly at that time , Dave said " What ? " At first , this seemed unmiraculous , and then it struck me as very funny , and I looked over at Dave to see if his timing was intentional . His straight face revealed nothing . If this was canned , it would either be something outside of my creativity level , or maybe just not that funny . But I legitimately found this , last night , in just the way I describe . Win the for ? This video will make more sense if you 've watched the " clutterbank " video I embedded a few weeks ago . I was subbing in a special ed classroom , and I was warned about a boy I was to be working one - on - one with . " He 's crazy . Like actually crazy . He just says random things . He hears voices . " Going with this information , I was not phased when he would stop me and say " hold on a sec - - " and then make some strained facial motions whilst moaning some almost - sensical phrases . He would then conclude this by saying " Sorry , that was from [ name of a movie I know exists but have not seen ] . " This was the most crazy thing he did to me , in the several days I worked with him . I wonder if this is really evidence of a reaction or response to voices in his head , or if this is an attention - seeking / ADD / Autism Spectrum thing . I know that higher functioning kids on the autism spectrum will sometimes memorize lines from movies and employ them when it seems fitting , as a way of trying to be part of common conversation . Perhaps they 've taught me about too much for my own good , and all my special - needs education forces me to diagnose every quirky kid I meet . Or perhaps I 'm right . Today and yesterday I worked in the same school . Over the course of two days , three things happened that I thought only really happened in movies or books . I suppose clichés come from somewhere , but I honestly didn 't think I would run into them . 1 . There was a food fight in the cafeteria . I 'm talking at least 150 kids involved . As I was walking down to the cafeteria to get some additional snacks , I saw some of the fallout - notoriously bad kids being escorted away by monitors , black hair smattered with white mashed potatoes or ranch dressing . Shirts splashed with juice . A disgusting mess . 2 . There was an un - planned fire - drill ( I don 't know what to call this ) . This was not because there was a fire , or even because someone pulled the alarm . This was because a chemistry class made some smoke in an experiment that set off the alarms . 3 . This was only rumored , I hope it never came to pass - - students were apparently armed with urine - balloons . Seriously , is this Cliché High School ? Seriously , what is it with people asking me a question , and arguing about my response ? If you 'll only accept one kind of answer , you need to specify . " What should I have for dinner , Mac & Cheese or Mac & Cheese ? " Don 't say " Mac & Cheese or Pizza ? " if you 've got your heart set on one . . and I would like to make decent friendship with you . . . . for a moment there , I thought Sonya ( bless her heart ) had figured out I was stealing her wifi and WEPd me . It looks like that 's not the case . Phew ! I believe I rambled about my issues with getting this new car . Perhaps I mentioned the big dent that appeared between the time when we said we 'd take it and when we came to sign the papers and pick it up ? Russ , the guy who was selling us the car had insisted that the dent must have been there , because * he * drove the car from the K - mart parking lot back to the dealership . I know 2 things : 1 ) A dent can happen to a car when no one is inside it . 2 ) My dad has the eagle - eye when it comes to car exteriors . I wouldn 't have even noticed something on my car , and when I pull up into his driveway , he 'd yell out the window : HEY ! What 'd ' ya hit ? So , to appease my family , Russ said that we could make an appointment with the " dent doctor " and at that time they 'd also re - detail my car ( it hadn 't been done well at all ) . So when I finally called to make the appointment , I talked to the receptionist ( who asked how she may direct my call ) : " Yes , I recently purchased a car from your dealership . I worked with Russell Frost . When I picked it up , there was a new dent and Russell Frost told me to call and make an appointment with the dent doctor . Russell Frost . " She decided to redirect my call to the body shop , who didn 't answer , so I left a message : " Hi , yes , Russell Frost told me to call and make this appointment yaddah yaddah Russell Frost . " About an hour later , I get an angry call from Russell Frost , who essentially conveys to me that he thinks I 'm an idiot . " You need to call ME for that . I ' M the one that sold you the car . " Dude , like I know how a dealership works . I shouldn 't even need to be doing this . GAH . " How 's 2 on Wednesday ? " he inquires . Did he ask me when I was available ? No . " Um . . . how about 4 , " I reply , and he agrees . When he first told me about this , he said it would take about 2 hours . I decided that since I was going right after work I would just bring a book and sit in the waiting room for that time . It wasn 't really enough time to try and get someplace else . Also , the weather was crappy . At 4 , when I walked into the dealershCourtesy of
|
Today we headed up to northern Maryland to hang out with Kat and Ross for the day . First we ate some yummy baked ziti with grilled eggplant for lunch . I 'm sure you could have guessed , but I 'll say it anyway - Julia loved both the pasta and the eggplant . Then we were off to Susquehanna State Park , near Havre de Grace , Maryland . Our first stop was the 200 - year - old working grist mill . The water wheel was spinning , and we went inside the mill to see the stones grinding kernels of corn into corn meal . Well , Julia stayed outside with Kat , since there wasn 't much in the way of excitement for Jules inside the mill . Then we drove to the head of the green trail . It took us about two hours to hike the 2 - mile trail . It got tricky a couple of times when there were forks in the trail . Thankfully Kat and Ross had a trail map to help us out . As you can see , Julia got plumb tuckered out , riding in the baby carrier . It 's a lot of work being jostled around on Daddy 's back ! Toward the end of the trail , we came to a tree with branches low enough and big enough to climb on . Evelyn couldn 't pass up climbing the tree , so Ross helped her up , and then he climbed up there himself . Let 's not forget the ice cream ! After hiking , we drove to Broom 's Bloom Dairy for some delicious ice cream . Evelyn went with traditional chocolate ( which , she claims , was the best she 's ever had ) , Julia and I shared " Charlotte 's Web " ( vanilla ice cream with fudge and caramel swirls ) , Troy got red raspberry , Ross got rice pudding and Kat got chocolate covered pretzels with peanuts . A very sweet ending to a picture - perfect day . Julia tried and tried and tried to get something to come out of the doll bottles this afternoon , but to no avail . She worked on them for over ten minutes ! Here 's a short clip of her switching between the orange juice and milk bottles : Last year , on Memorial Day weekend , we Lusters were super - adventurous . We took on one of the steepest and rockiest trails on Sugarloaf Mountain , 1 - month - old Julia riding in the front - body carrier . It was quite an experience . One that we have yet to do again , it was so harrowing . This time around , Julia 's nap schedule and the weather cooperated so we could go on another Memorial Day picnic and hiking adventure . However , today we decided to try something new - Chesapeake and Ohio Canal National Historic Park . The Great Falls , Maryland site was only a 40 - minute drive from our house , and Evelyn got a stamp in her National Parks passport book for visiting the park . We found a picnic table next to the canal for our lunch . As you can see in the pictures , everyone enjoyed their fine dining experience in their own special way . After lunch , we strapped Julia into the baby carrier , and off we went . We hiked a trail that took us onto Olmsted Island . There were several bridges along the way that provided amazing views of the waterfalls in the Potomac River . I mean , can you believe this is the Potomac River ? I never thought it would look like this . ( Click on the picture to enlarge it to get the full effect . ) Our initial goal was to hike two different trails , but the sun and humidity really got to Julia , so we were only able to walk the island trail . The next time we visit this park , we plan to hike the Overlook Trail , which is just under one mile round - trip . The pool opened today - something Evelyn has been anticipating for a long time . Our community pool is just a few blocks away from our house , and it only takes a quick , five minutes to walk there . We slathered sunscreen on the girls , got their swimming suits on and headed to the pool . It was sunny and in the mid - 80 's , so the girls didn 't seem to mind the frigid pool water . Evelyn played in both the really shallow part of the pool and the 3 - feet area . She picked up right where she left off last year with swimming around , jumping in from the side and dunking her head under the water . Julia spent the first hour sitting in the 6 - inch part of the pool , playing with toys . During the second hour , Julia crawled back and forth in the water . She also practiced standing while holding onto the side of the pool . After spending two hours at the pool ( and another hour , previously , at the park ) , it didn 't take long for the girls to fall asleep tonight . Julia has three teeth ! Yippee ! All the don 't - want - to - go - to - sleep fussing and runny noses last week finally paid off . Her top left tooth broke through this morning . How long will it be before the top right tooth makes its appearance ? At Julia 's 9 - month checkup , she was sitting . Any other gross motor movements ? No , I told the doctor . Not to worry . Kids develop at their own pace . Fast - forward to Julia 's 12 - month checkup last month . She sits . Any other gross motor movements ? The answer was still no . This time the doctor was concerned , especially when Julia wouldn 't put any weight on her legs at the appointment . He referred me to the county 's infant and toddler program , which evaluates little ones in various areas of development . If there is a gap of more than 25 % , the baby / toddler qualifies for assistance . Julia 's evaluation was last week . She tested at 15 - 16 months for all developmental areas except . . . gross motor skills . At the time of the evaluation , she was crawling . This , combined with a few other skills , put her at 8 months . Therefore , the little Sunshine qualified for the physical therapy program . More than likely , there are two reasons for Julia 's delay in developing her gross motor skills : ( 1 ) She has low muscle tone ; ( 2 ) She has a laid - back personality . Today was Julia 's first appointment . The therapist came to our house , and it 's a free service ( thanks to NCLB ) . Julia was such a good sport for her first session . She worked incredibly hard for about 50 minutes straight . The therapist assisted Julia with standing , pulling up to standing , lowering to sitting from standing and walking along furniture . The poor baby was so fatigued at the end of the session that her little legs were shaking from all the exercise . You can tell that Julia is ready to learn all of these new skills . She was in a good mood , and she fully cooperated . It will be interesting to see how far she will progress by next week 's appointment . One of Evelyn 's favorite pieces of equipment at the Little Gym is the rings . About two weeks ago , Evelyn learned how to do a flip on the rings . However , the rings aren 't available every week . Evelyn was in luck today because . . . the rings were out ! Here is a video of Evelyn doing a backwards flip on the rings . We 're baaaack ! It 's been awhile since we 've hiked at Sugarloaf Mountain . Not because of the weather . It has been a rainy spring , but there have been nice weekends now and then . With my ankle surgery three months ago , it 's been too risky for me to take on climbing a ( small ) mountain . But I finally felt up to par , and today 's rain stayed away long enough for us to fit in a hike to the summit . Plus Kat and Ross were able to join us ! Julia has a new mode of transportation for hikes - the back carrier . Even though I felt up to hiking , I 'm not quite ready to haul Julia . So Troy took over my job this time . Maybe I 'll resume my role for the next hike . Today 's forecast for a 50 % chance of rain kept the crowds away . Once we reached the top of the mountain , we pretty much had the place to ourselves . It was great hanging out at the top , checking out the view , having a family picture taken , just taking it easy . Julia found a great little perch on a rock . She seemed to know that this wasn 't exactly the best place to crawl around , so she was content to sit with me and check out the scenery . Evelyn , meanwhile , was all about climbing rocks and looking for caterpillars . She just loves hiking and climbing and rocks and critters ( and anything outdoors ! ) , so she had a blast . Kat and Troy kept a watchful eye on her to make sure she didn 't get too close to the edge of the mountain while exploring . Like I said , Evelyn loves climbing on rocks . She found a more creative way to scale down the mountain , and it did not involve walking the trail . This time , Kat and Ross helped Evelyn navigate the steep descent . Posted by One of our neighbors has a robin 's nest under their deck . Since the family knows about Evelyn 's interest in all things nature , including birds , they invited us to come over and see the baby birds yesterday . The way the robins built the nest made for excellent viewing - we looked through the slats in the deck flooring for an overhead view of the nest and the babies . It 's a good thing we saw the baby birds when we did because they left the nest today . Also , while we were on our evening walk tonight , Evelyn found a robin 's egg on the ground . Combine that with the bird book and birdwatching journal Evelyn received for her birthday , she is completely immersed in the world of birds right now . This afternoon when the phone rang , Julia immediately put her fist to the temple of her head . This is the baby sign for telephone . She completely initiated the sign on her own , which I think is amazing . After supper , as I carried Julia up the stairs , I told her it was time for her bath . Right away she started rubbing her fists in circles on her chest . That is the baby sign for bath . It 's been a couple of days since she has seen that sign , so it 's pretty cool that she remembered it . Evelyn is back in the world of soccer for another 8 - week session . With the wet and rainy spring we 've had this year , it 's been a little tricky getting on the real grass field for her classes . However , the soccer complex has outdoor turf fields that the kiddos can play on . Today was the third week they have played on the turf . This morning the weather was absolutely beautiful - sunny , warm and a light breeze . I brought the camera along to practice , and I got some great pictures of the Peanut . In the pics below , she dribbled the ball to cones and bowling pins , and then she knocked them down . Last weekend , Evelyn went to a birthday party . There were about 20 kids at the shin - dig . I was surprised that another girl was named Evelyn . This afternoon we girls went to the mall for some shopping and playing . While in the kids ' play area , I overheard another mom call to her daughter , " Evelyn ! " Back when Troy and I chose Evelyn 's name , we were certain of two things : ( 1 ) We wanted a name that wasn 't very popular ; ( 2 ) The baby 's middle name would be Lucille . Evelyn worked perfectly . It paired up with Lucille nicely , and it was ranked 88th on the 2003 Social Security list of baby names . After the two episodes mentioned above , I got curious enough to look up the popularity of Evelyn 's name since 2003 . Here are the years and the popularity ranks : 2004 - 84th2005 - 71st2006 - 65th2007 - 55th2008 - 54thI guess it 's no wonder I 've been hearing Evelyn 's name more often . ( In 2001 , her name wasn 't even in the top 100 . ) I won 't completely omit Julia from this post . Julia 's name was ranked 40th in 2008 . The popularity of her name actually went down last year . It had been holding strong in the 30 's for the past decade . Evelyn had a day - long birthday celebration today . It all started in preschool , where she had a small " party " with her little friends . The party was very simple . The class sang " Happy Birthday " to Evelyn , and then everyone had brownies , ice cream and lemonade . Julia wasn 't interested in the brownie , but she ate a healthy serving of vanilla ice cream . Lucky for Evelyn , Wednesday is her gymnastics day . Evelyn insisted that we bring cupcakes and princess rings for the three other girls in her class to celebrate her birthday . Can you guess what color the frosting the cupcakes had ? Yup - purple . The girls loved their rings and devoured the cupcakes . Evelyn chose to have her birthday dinner at IHOP , where she had her favorite meal of baby cakes ( with butter pecan syrup ) and sausage . Then it was time for presents and birthday cake at home . Evelyn 's presents seemed to have a purple theme this year - lots of purple clothes , toys and wrapping paper . The little bookworm also got several books . Evelyn requested a chocolate train cake with a purple locomotive and tender . The number on the tender was a 5 , of course . Since Julia had a long day with no afternoon nap , she went to bed during the opening of the presents and completely missed out on cake and ice cream . That 's okay - there are plenty of leftovers ! As the day goes on , Evelyn eats less and less at her meals . For breakfast , Evelyn eats like gang - busters . She has a morning snack , and she usually eats most of her lunch . She heartily eats her afternoon snack , but by the time supper rolls around , she 's pretty much done for the day . I feel like I 'm serving a bird with the small amount of food I put on her plate for dinner . Tonight we had leftovers , and Evelyn gets pretty picky about leftovers . I decided to avoid a food battle and serve up something I knew Evelyn would eat : a slice of cheese , butterfly crackers and cinnamon applesauce . True , Evelyn ate this " meal " more heartily than she would have the leftovers Troy and I were eating . But ! She found a new way to get rid of the food on her plate - Julia . It all started when Evelyn said , " Can Julia eat cheese ? " Before we knew it , Evelyn continued giving Julia nibbles of her supper , and Julia kept scarfing the nibbles down . As I 've mentioned before , Julia is not one to turn down food , and table food appears to be no exception . Plus , now Evelyn has a new way to clean her plate - give her food to her sister . Today was the day the whole family was supposed to see a Cardinals baseball game in D . C . The weather simply did not want to cooperate , though . It has been a very rainy spring , and today was no different . However , Troy and I thought we saw a break in the weather that might last long enough to get the game in . We packed up the girls and their belongings , and then we headed for the Metro station . The train ride to the stadium was uneventful . When we stepped off the train , though , we noticed several baseball fans waiting for the train to take them home . Not a good sign . We went up to street level to see what the weather was doing . . . raining . And there were lots of people walking to the Metro station from the baseball stadium . We decided to join the crowd and headed back to the trains . The train for the ride home was packed . Julia was in her stroller , which was in the aisle . Like I said , the train was very full , and there was a man standing with his back to Julia 's stroller . It wasn 't long before Julia reached up under his jacket to touch him . It looked like she was trying to goose him ! Oh , it was a long train ride , trying to keep Julia from touching that guy . Eventually the crowd thinned out , and we didn 't have to force Julia to keep her hands to herself . As a 12 - month old , Julia is venturing into the world of new foods . Her doctor recommended giving her the same things we eat , as long as they are conducive to a little one who needs to gum her food . Julia still only has two teeth , so there 's a lot of gumming going on . In the past week , some of the new foods Julia has tried are crackers , bread , banana and avocado . Her entire meal is not table food - most of her breakfast , lunch and dinner is baby cereal and mushed - up baby food . However , she is definitely tackling new tastes and textures . The only new food that she hasn 't made a face at is avocado . My guess is because avocados are , for the most part , tasteless . Julia is also slowly transitioning from formula to whole milk . Like everything else that has to do with food , she has no complaints . The only problem is when I try to give Julia whole milk in a sippy cup . It 's time to wean her from the bottle , and she has made it very clear to me that she prefers bottles . Introducing new foods is going smoothly , but the sippy cup will be more of a battle .
|
Month : February 2014 A model cancer patient Posted on February 27 , 2014 by Steph On Monday I participated in the Wellspring Well Dressed For Spring fashion show at Holt Renfrew . I got to wear expensive clothes and be fussed over and be a model for a day . I met some great people , many of whom had also had cancer , which of course gave us an instant connection . It is so strange how the second you learn someone else has had cancer , you suddenly start talking about very personal things that you might not even discuss with a good friend . The ties that bind . As the show began and we waited backstage to be called , my stomach started flipping and I got extremely nervous . Why did I agree to do something where a bunch of people were going to stare at me ? For someone who hasn 't felt very good about her appearance in quite some time , this suddenly seemed like a bad idea . A few of the other models were having butterflies as well . But then I reminded myself , and them , " We 've all been through a lot worse than this . " After hearing my name called , I walked up onto the stage , while Amanda Lang from CBC read a short bio about me and my cancer story . As she said the words and everyone looked at me with tears in their eyes , I too started to tear up , which I really didn 't expect . I have no problem talking about my experience and have heard the story so many times . But it still sometimes catches me off guard , when I hear someone else describe what I have been through and where I am right now . It was all a bit overwhelming . I walked down the runway , and the rest is really a blur . I remember I had had a plan of how I wanted to walk and I really wanted to seem cool and model - y , but that quickly went out the window the second I started walking . Cameras were flashing and everyone was cheering and my grandpa was blowing me kisses and I had a bit of a mental black - out . I really don 't remember walking . But somehow , my feet carried me , to the end , and back . And I didn 't even trip . After the show , I had lots of people introduce themselves to me , and many people told me they have followed along with me since the beginning . No matter how many times I hear this , it always shocks me . I still have trouble comprehending that anyone other than my mother would be interested in reading my blog . The evening was wonderful , and emotional , and fun , and exhausting . I am really glad I did it and had the chance to be surrounded by so much love and support . A nice feeling . The next morning , I got up bright and early to do my final blood draw using my good ol ' port - a - cath . The nurse messed up the first try , so she had to give me a second needle , which was a bit frustrating . But I had a feeling things wouldn 't go smoothly , seeing as it was the last hurrah , and isn 't that just the way it goes . After the blood draw , I had a check - up with my oncologist ( actually , I got to see two doctors because I am just so special ) . We talked about various issues I 've been having , and also some stats around recurrence and my odds . It is funny how when I was first diagnosed , I didn 't want to hear any stats or numbers from anyone , because I couldn 't handle how scary it was to talk in those terms . It is still terrifying , but I have a much firmer grasp now on the reality of my situation , and a certain comfort level with it . An acceptance , of sorts . It still feels like a punch in the stomach to hear that after everything I have done , my chances of survival are still not as high as I wish they were ( i . e . not 100 % , which is what we all wish for … isn 't it ? ) . But my doctors do seem genuinely optimistic , and I fully believe that they are not bullshitters , which is why I have allowed them to remain a part of my medical team . I like real talk . I also like hope . And they give me both . So I actually came away from this appointment feeling fairly good , especially after being told I will now get a nice THREE MONTH break from hanging out with cancer doctors , which is the longest I 've ever had . So that is quite thrilling . After my hospital morning , I went home to change and headed up north to attend Naomi 's funeral . The service was beautiful , with touching eulogies and stories shared about this amazing woman . I feel so lucky to have known her and to have gotten to know some of her friends and family . Of course , as nice as the memorial was , it was also extremely difficult . I wept the entire time , having it fully hit me that my friend is gone , and that someone so important to so many people , is gone . It is a hard reality to face . It is so hard to make sense of why these things happen . To know that it happened to such a loving , amazing family , who deserved nothing but happiness . It is all just terribly unfair , and my heart aches for all the people who are feeling the loss of Naomi and all that she brought to this world . I am also confronted with having to face my own mortality , and the notion that it could just as easily be my funeral , and my family left behind . The death of a friend causes many emotions to stir up , and in this case , maybe a few more . It is hard , to say the least . But I 'm so glad I got to be a part of saying goodbye to someone who had a very significant impact on my life . And , since my week wasn 't cancer - filled enough … today , I got my port removed . I was initially supposed to be sedated for the procedure , but I called yesterday and asked the nurse if I could do it without any drugs . She said I could , if I felt relaxed enough about it . And I told her , honestly , I really just didn 't want to fast all day , because not eating for one day is just way too challenging for me . So today I made my way to another hospital , and checked in , and commenced a very long wait for my procedure . I had a phone call from someone on the medical team asking if it had been explained to me that I could receive medication and get an IV and all that . I told the guy that I had just eaten a bagel , so that ship had sailed . No turning back . When they finally called me , I went into the operating room and lay on the bed and stared at all the machines and monitors . I instantly started to wonder if I 'd made a huge mistake by offering to be awake . For the port insertion , I had been so nervous that I asked them to give me an insane amount of drugs , and I completely passed out . How things have changed . How I have changed . I have a new sense of bravery about these things that I never possessed pre - cancer . A young doctor entered the room , looking like he walked off the set of Grey 's Anatomy , which for some reason put me at ease . He explained what was about to happen , asked the usual questions , and then began . I had to have several needles to freeze the area , which didn 't bother me . Then he made his incision , and I could feel a bunch of tugging and pulling that seemed to go on for awhile . He asked me if I needed a break and I said no , just get ' er done . Before I knew it , he yanked the tube out and out came the port . Then he sewed me up and bandaged me as I felt my blood pressure return to normal and the room stop spinning . Easy peasy . And now I am home , a bit sore , after what feels like a very long , highly emotional , exhausting few days . I 'm having some bleeding come through the bandage , which is slightly worrisome . If it continues , I am supposed to go to the emergency room . But I am hoping that does not happen . I 've had enough cancer - related events for one week . Time to get back to watching bad TV , sleeping , and being a regular human being … which , these days , is what I hope for , more than anything . Share this : TwitterFacebookEmailTumblrRedditPinterestLike this : Like Loading . . . Tagged breast cancer , cancer , exhaustion , fashion show , feelings , funeral , hospital , loss , modelling , mourning , oncologist , port , runway , surgery18 Comments Naomi Angel Posted on February 22 , 2014 by Steph A few months ago , I wrote this entry about my friend Naomi . Late last night , my beautiful friend passed away , leaving many people to mourn the loss of a truly amazing woman . I have thought of Naomi non - stop over the past several months , as her health began to deteriorate . I have missed her texts , and emails , and our lunch dates . I have sat at my computer at night , reading through all our old messages from the earlier cancer days , and looking through her photos , and praying for miracles . Naomi and I had a truly unique friendship . Having " cancer friends " is a bond that only other " cancer friends " can really understand . Our friendship was not at all typical in any way . I have " hung out " with Naomi more times in the hospital than out of it . Our text messages and emails , although sometimes about work , family , etc . , were most often about our cancer lives . Our lives . We 'd discuss arm exercises , and radiation CT 's , and MRI machines , and plan quick meet - ups in the waiting room . We talked about our hair and compared its post - chemo growth . I was completely jealous that Naomi 's hair and lashes were coming back so quickly . And she would assure me that mine would come back soon . I have sat with Naomi in the emergency room , helped her to the bathroom , changed her clothes for her ( the end of one of her last emails to me was : Also , I realized that you and your mom both saw my bare ass at the hospital ! Oh the indignities ! ) . When the MRI tech asked questions about breast - feeding , we both looked at each other and rolled our eyes . Hello , we don 't have breasts ! We understood each other in this way . Our secret friendship club . The first week that Naomi and I started emailing each other , before actually meeting in person , I felt like a giddy teenager . My heart would skip a beat when I saw I had a new email from her , as we would write lengthy messages back and forth , talking about our treatments , our husbands , and how much cancer sucked . I was so happy I found her , even more so when I learned about her academic background and her general interests and realized we would totally be awesome friends in the real , non - cancer world . But sadly , we never really got to the non - cancer world together . Cancer was always there , until the very end . Pic taken from Naomi 's blog . She bought this fancy coat after her first brain surgery . She went to Anthropologie , sat down in the fitting room , and demanded that the saleswoman bring her a bunch of fancy things to try on . She bought two expensive coats that day , and she was so excited to show them off . She looked beautiful , as always . I remember the first time I met Naomi in person , at a lunch spot near the hospital , in between our appointments . She was sitting on a bench in the sun , in a bright red coat . She looked so beautiful . Naomi had this amazing aura about her . She was so cool , and peaceful , and smart . I looked up to her . Even facing a tough prognosis , she always had so much hope . Her hope gave me hope . I was in awe of her . When we would write to each other about our fears , she wrote to me : Focus on what 's happening now . The future will come when it 's ready , and it 's so hard to predict what life is going to bring . I loved her way of thinking , and her way with words . She always lifted me up , even when she was down . I am so angry at cancer , for taking a wife from her husband , a young mom from her son … a daughter , a sister , a friend . It is all terribly unfair . But anger won 't bring her back , and it won 't take anyone 's pain away . So instead I will choose to think of all the good she brought into the world while she was here , and into my world , and how lucky I was to have known her for a short while . She was truly an angel . 1 . Next week I am walking the runway in the Well Dressed For Spring Fashion Show , supporting Wellspring . All the models have some sort of connection to cancer , and most are media personalities or executives . I am neither of those , but apparently I still made the cut . Today I got to go to Holt Renfrew ( our high - end fancy - shmancy department store , for my non - Canadian friends ) and meet with my stylist , Christopher . YES , I HAVE A STYLIST . Christopher pulled several different outfits for me to try on , which was pretty much a dream . I wear $ 9 jeans most days , so this was a tad different from what I 'm used to . I was a bit nervous going in , worrying that nothing would fit me properly . In fact , last week , when trying on a bunch of dresses from my closet , I had a bit of a breakdown when I learned that none of them fits me anymore , due to my new implants that don 't really move or squish in the way natural breasts do / should . So I now have a bunch of nice dresses I can never wear again , which is a bit sad . I was worried something similar might happen at my fitting today , but it did not . Luckily , Christopher picked stuff that I was comfortable in and that wasn 't a far stretch from what I would wear in my daily life . The complete outfit costs more than my entire wardrobe at home ( which really doesn 't say much … I am pretty cheap ) . And I even get to wear Prada shoes , which hopefully , I will be able to walk in without having a Carrie Bradshaw fashion roadkill incident . The whole thing was really fun and made me wish I were a rich celebrity with a personal stylist and a giant closet full of fancy things picked just for me . Sigh . But it will be fun to pretend and play dress - up , if only for a day . 2 . Next week I 'm getting my port removed . Remember my port ? I have had this thing implanted in my body for a very long time . I don 't ever look at it or think about it . It 's just there , and I 've gotten quite used to it . But now that I 'm done with the whole drug pumping bit , I no longer have use for it , so it 's time to yank ' er out . The port removal is very symbolic to me , because it truly marks the end of that phase of my life . However , I can 't help but worry that taking it out will somehow jinx my health , and the cancer will come back , and I 'll need chemo again , and they 'll have to put the goddamn port right back in . I realize that type of thinking is illogical , but the thought has crossed my mind . Nonetheless , it 's time to come out , and that 's a good thing . More cutting , more stitches , more scarring . Just another day . 3 . Last , but not really least … I have given notice at work that I will be leaving my job . So , I am looking for a new job . And as much as I really wish I could skip the whole job search / application process and just send an email saying , " I had cancer and have been through a ton of shit and have quite a bit more life experience than can ever be summed up on a resume and I deserve a friggin ' break , and I am pretty much awesome at everything so just hire me and let 's be done with it , " I can 't really do that because I would come off as completely insane and slightly hostile . So I 'm on the hunt , looking for the next thing in my life , and excited for the future … and hoping it doesn 't take forever to get here . ( P . S . Anyone out there hiring and in need of a brilliant , hard - working , all - around fabulous employee ? Remember , I had cancer , therefore you should probably try to help me out . It 's kind of your duty as a fellow , compassionate human being . ) Share this : TwitterFacebookEmailTumblrRedditPinterestLike this : Like Loading . . . Tagged breast cancer , cancer , fashion , fashion show , hire me , job searching , port , stylist , unemployment9 Comments All about me Posted on February 6 , 2014February 7 , 2014 by Steph Okay , so I 've recently come to realize that a huge portion of the people who read and comment on this blog don 't know me , or anything about me ( except for the whole cancer thing , obviously ) . In fact , there are over 1 , 000 people who subscribe to my blog , and I 'm pretty certain my mom and dad only make up two of those people , because I have the ability to do basic math . So I feel like maybe I should tell you some non - cancer - y things about myself , in an effort to not just be " cancer girl " to all the loyal readers out there . 1 . I come from a really great family . Boring , right ? But that 's the truth . I have a big bro and a little sis , and two parents who love each other . We all live in the same city and see each other all the time . I also have a very large extended family , many of whom I also see frequently . I always thought this was kind of normal , to come from this awesome , big family , where everyone is smart and funny , and gets along and loves each other . I now know that that is not always the case and I am extremely fortunate for how I was raised and the relationships I have with my family members . The siblings . The one who clearly looks nothing like me is the bro 's girlfriend but she is included as a sibling as well because that 's how we roll . ( If you 're a music fan , you can check her out here . ) He 's smart and kind and makes me laugh until I can 't breathe . There is no one in the world I 'd rather spend time with . We met on the internet , as is becoming the norm for lots of modern - day couples . Although I like to think we were a bit ahead of the curve on that one . I sent him a message after checking out his profile , because he spelled everything properly , made a couple non - obnoxious jokes , and didn 't look like a serial killer . I had no idea I 'd ever end up marrying the guy , but here we are , living the dream ( minus the cancer part ) . 3 . I love movies and TV . Probably to the point that it might be unhealthy , but if that 's my worst vice , then I 'm okay with it . It is hard for me to relate to people who " don 't watch any TV " or " haven 't seen a movie in years . " I just can 't understand that , because I get so much joy out of these forms of entertainment . I can go on forever and ever talking about whatever good or horrible show I am currently obsessed with . I feel actual anxiety when I hear of some new TV show that is getting a lot of buzz and I haven 't yet seen it ( i . e . True Detective , which is next on my list ) . Current / recent faves are : Scandal , Game of Thrones , Downton Abbey , Orange is the New Black , Homeland ( despite a pretty weak recent season ) , Girls , The Mindy Project , Breaking Bad ( RIP ) , Nashville , Pretty Little Liars , The Vampire Diaries , Parenthood , The Bachelor … I will stop there before it gets any more embarrassing . I grew up completely obsessed with movies . This is how I bonded with friends , and how I often judged prospective boyfriends ( I have since gotten a lot less snobby about such things , as you can see from my occasionally terrible taste in television ) . I still get extremely excited to see a new movie in theatres , and I swear , my heart skips a beat when I hear the movie studio 's opening theme song . Sometimes I find myself humming the New Line Cinema theme , for no reason . That 's probably a pretty strange thing to admit , but alas … the truth . I could easily write ten thousand words on my favourite films . There are many great , remarkable movies out there , but the ones that I always return to , that I have watched a million times and could watch a million more : Edward Scissorhands , Back to the Future ( Pt . 1 for always , Pt . 2 for laughs , Pt . 3 for never ) , When Harry Met Sally , The Royal Tenenbaums , A League of Their Own , Annie Hall , The Lion King , Wizard of Oz , Hook , Marry Poppins , Home Alone , Poltergeist , and Dumb and Dumber . Those are truly my tops , many of them being childhood favourites . Obviously there are " brilliant " films like Citizen Kane or Schindler 's List , but those aren 't exactly DVD 's that I feel like popping in every night as I drift off to sleep . For me , my favourite movies are all about comfort . This was especially true when I spent lots of last year being ill , and sometimes the only thing that could comfort me was this : 4 . My other favourite subject to talk about is food . I am , one might say , obsessed with food and eating said food ( note : I am not obsessed with cooking . Cooking to me is just a necessary means to an end . I would much rather have someone cook for me , so I can just focus on the act of consuming the food , which is really the only part I enjoy of the whole cooking thing ) . I love food so much that if I 'm eating something delicious , I will literally try to shove a piece of whatever it is in the mouth of whomever I am dining with , because I need someone else to experience what I am tasting . My husband and sister both find this extremely annoying , but I will never stop doing it . My friend Laura and I often write each other emails that are only about food - which new restaurants we have eaten at , which ones we 're dying to try , where we 're going to meet for lunch next week . And then when we go out to eat , we only talk about the food that we 're eating the entire time , and we joke that anyone sitting near us would likely think we are insane , or haven 't eaten for a month . I just love food . Healthy , unhealthy , fine dining , hole - in - the - wall diners , all ends of the spectrum . I don 't discriminate . If you put it in front of me , I will probably eat it ( a fun theory that my siblings like proving by putting something on my plate and watching it disappear , without me realizing that I have ingested anything ) . Some might say I have an addiction . But I just say , I LOVE FOOD SO PLEASE FEED ME AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER . 5 . I don 't drink alcohol . Party pooper , right ? Sorry to disappoint . People always think that this is some kind of great life decision or statement or religious thing . But I actually can 't drink alcohol , for it makes me very , very sick . I have pretty bad chronic reflux disease ( yet another thing , like cancer , that is usually saved for older people … I guess I 'm just ahead of the game ) . This means that things like alcohol , caffeine , spicy foods , and some other things can do crazy things to my insides , which if it gets bad enough , can make me violently ill . Occasionally maybe I will have a few sips of wine or some champagne for a celebration , but for the most part , I abstain . Being someone who does not drink has made me realize how much value people put on alcohol consumption . A lot of people look at you like you 're some sort of weirdo if you don 't drink . I know some people can 't imagine the non - booze life . For me , it is pretty easy . And it also makes me a really cheap date , which may or may not be why my husband chose to marry me ( just kidding … I hope ) . Okay , I think those are enough random tidbits for the time being . But maybe now you feel like you know a tiny bit more about me , albeit on a somewhat surface level . If you feel so inclined , all you wonderful strangers / lurkers / random people I 've never met , leave a comment and say hello and tell me something about yourself , or your blog , or what you 're doing here . I meet people all the time who say " oh I know you , I read your blog " and I know nothing about them , which always feels a bit strange . So don 't be shy , say hi ! Or at least tell me your favourite movie , so I can judge you swiftly , because really , that 's the only way to do it . Share this : TwitterFacebookEmailTumblrRedditPinterestLike this : Like Loading . . . Tagged about me , alcohol , facts , family , history , life , movies , tv shows34 Comments Getting emails is fun ! Sign up for updates . Post was not sent - check your email addresses ! Email check failed , please try again Sorry , your blog cannot share posts by email . % d bloggers like this :
|
Ah , the holidays . Not the silly ones that involve family and church and presents . But the ones that involve dressing up in a ridiculous fashion and drinking your weight in hard alcohol . Ain 't tradition great ? Who needs religious holidays when you can instead celebrate the human need to gather together while wearing silly hats ? This weekend I went to a Halloween party and this picture was taken of me : I 'm sorry that it is blurry . My digital camera does not like any movement from the either the person taking the picture or the person in the picture . Given the fact that this picture was taken at 4 a . m . the odds of either one of us being able to stand in a steady fashion were very slim . So we 'll have to make do with what a digital camera and two intoxicated people can do . The party started out normally , with everyone in their costumes and what not . But as the night wore on the costumes lost their allure ( and their comfortableness ) and slowly started being discarded by their wear - ers . But do not fear , the discarded paraphernalia quickly found a home on other party - goers until the whole party looked like we had collaborated to collectively dress as an Acid Trip . Hence my costume at the end of the evening . Let 's break it down , shall we ? 1 ) This is a Witch 's hat . Or possibly some sort of Fortune Girl thing . I 'm not sure . 2 ) This came from the Slutty Cop . We don 't really know why she had this , unless she was planning on engaging in some morally reprehensible interrogation tactics . I was able to confiscate this item from her during the time in the evening that she was handcuffed . Turns out alcohol plus handcuffs will often result in the hilarious handcuffing of several people . And it will also result in tremendously complicated de - handcuffing efforts which would rival the concentration efforts needed by a team of brain surgeons . If brain surgeons wore mini - skirts . And kept losing their handcuff key . 3 ) This is where we get a little indecent . These items are part of a very tasteful Wet T - Shirt Contest Contestant . ThePosted by I just went surfing the internet for a story to tell you about , something you really need to know . And what did I find ? " Kate Moss Out of Rehab " . Because apparently this is newsworthy . Well , her checking out of rehab isn 't what was newsworthy , it was what led her to the rehab that sparked the interest of people . And by " people " I mean " complete morons who need to remove their heads from their asses " . Kate Moss is a model . Someone released a picture of Kate Moss snorting a line of cocaine . And havoc ensued . People ( morons ) were in an uproar because the woman was doing drugs . Am I missing something ? Someone please explain it to me , would you ? This woman 's job is to stand while people take her picture . Occasionally she has to alter between a happy face and a sexy face , but other than that she has no real job requirements besides merely being alive . Honestly , who cares if she is snorting anthrax , as long as she is at least able to be propped up long enough to snap a photo . I mean really . Am I the only person who thinks it 's more than a bit bizarre that people seem to be really shocked that a model is snorting cocaine ? The woman weighs 35 pounds , she had to have some help on that diet . And I hate to be the one to break it to Suburban America but people do drugs in this country . LOTS of them . Probably even more than they would do if they were actually legal . That whole " War on Drugs " thing ? Basically just made up so that some cool TV shows and movies could be made about it . Drugs are everywhere . And not just on the corners of shady neighborhoods and up the noses of anorexic models either . Within about 2 hours I could probably have pretty much any drug I could ever want . And I don 't even do drugs , which I know you don 't believe , because I too only weight 35 pounds . But my point , and I really have quite a few , is 1 ) Models do drugs 2 ) Get over it 3 ) Just Say No 4 ) But if you feel like saying yes , I might be able to point you in the right direction . It 's 1 : 45 a . m . , I 've been working since the last time it was a . m . hours and I am still not done . So I don 't have time to blog . But I do have time to eat Twinkies . And I have time to share with you an e - mail I received today in response to my Twinkie blog : " This weekend I was at Bed , Bath and Beyond , returning items from our registry and purchasing those we didn 't receive , not that this information is really crucial to why I 'm emailing , but you do need to know where I was shopping . So , I 'm walking down the aisle and what do I see … . . you got it … . . a homemade Twinkie machine . Can you believe it ? No longer do you have to spend the ridiculous time in the grocery store waiting in lines to only come home with a case of hostess Twinkies , but you could instead make them from the comfort of your own home . Now I must confess I didn 't spend any time researching the whole item , only because two other customers were wooing over it and at some point I thought they may have been your relatives wanting to purchase yet another quirky gift for you , and I didn 't want to be gone too long as I had a severely hung - over husband at home whom I told I was simply running to the store to get him Gatorade and greasy Jimboy 's tacos . So here 's what I 'm going to do for you , my dear friend Dawn … the next time I 'm shopping , I 'll do more research on this unbelievable item and if it 's as good as the two women who were gawking over it seem to have made it , you may have this item mysteriously appear under your Christmas tree in December . It would be a perfect addition to your collection of tuna helper , mountain dew and bags o salad . What a combo ? Good luck with your Malaria . " Then when one of my 85 jobs today took me to the workplace of this dear friend she handed me this picture : How much fun is this ? So much fun . Here is the description of the product : Hostess Twinkies ® Brand Bake SetNow you can make your favorite treat at home with this fun Twinkies ® baking kit . Easily bake up some fun with this complete kit that Posted by Sometimes the world is a bad place . Sometimes there are wars and famines and floods . Sometimes , before you go on a " vacation " you have to choose between getting deathly ill from a malaria pill or risking just catching the malaria . Sometimes you have to work on a political campaign in which plotting and getting away with the murder of every single person working on the campaign seems like it would take far less effort than getting every single one of those people to agree on anything . But sometimes the world is a pretty great place too . Because sometimes you write a blog about how all you ever buy at the grocery store are Bags of Salad , Mountain Dew and Twinkies . And then sometimes , because of the world being beautiful and pure and equipped with its very own mail delivery service , you receive a care package in which someone decides to cross one item off your grocery list : Twinkies make all the rest of the crap seem almost bearable . Probably because I am on a sugar high after eating 3 of them . Can I tell you how much I love Twinkies ? So very much . They are all spongy and golden and creamy . And they can apparently ( according to the box ) look smashing in cowboy boots . Cause nothing says good ol ' country livin ' like a Twinkie … As I eat my next Twinkie I am reminded of a time in elementary school in which some health expert / food guy came to our classroom and asked us all about the food we eat . He had us take our lunches out and describe how many food groups we had represented in our midday meal . I said I had all four . He said he only spotted three . I said he was wrong . I pointed to my turkey sandwich , there 's the bread and meat . I pointed to my apple , there 's the fruit . I pointed to my Twinkie , there 's the dairy . And I was being serious ( my sarcasm towards complete strangers didn 't kick in for a few more years ) . This health expert / food guy was quite appalled that I thought " creamy filling " constituted a significant contribution to my daily milk requirement . So appalled that he quoted me in the articlePosted by I don 't have anything to say today that is of any interest . Oh wait , I do have one thing . I recently met a man named Barth . As in B A R T H . As in why would anyone ever go by that name ? Ever ? I 'm assuming that his name is Bartholomew , which in itself is horrible and scarring . But why on earth , with like 12 letters to play with would you shorten your name down to Barth ? I know that not everyone can have a name as beautiful and poetic as Dawn , but come on , do you have to go with a name in which you are never sure if people are saying your name or referring to the act of humans regurgitating already eaten food ? Really . Barth . And speaking of morons , I have been warned that not only is my " vacation " location ( Honduras ) a malaria - ridden , no monkey - petting country , but it has also been finding itself along the path of some hurricanes lately . Man do I know how to pick a vacation destination . Major risk of life - threatening illness - check . No drinkable water - check . Possible ride inside a hurricane as it flies overhead , picking up you and the shelter you are building - check , check . Does it say anything about my current work situation that I am still looking forward to going ? Let 's just say Mother Nature ain 't got nothin ' on a group of political people 15 days before an election . And she sure doesn 't have nearly as much hot air blowing around . It turns out that some of the people in my family are quite concerned about my ability to awake from my slumber . Because of my hearing impairment it is impossible for me to hear an alarm clock in the morning . And in the 10 odd years that I have had to wake myself , without the assistance of a parent , I have significantly overslept only one time . And to be honest , that one time I didn 't really want to get up for my appointment anyways , so my subconscious didn 't bother waking me up . But that one time was enough to send my mother into a panic , " How are you going to wake up in time for your early flight in a couple of weeks ? " I stared at her blankly , " Because I have never caught an early flight in my life ? I 've never woken up for anything early ? Do you think I was just getting lucky all those other times ? " Apparently she did . Because the next time I spoke to her she said she had bought me a " present " . It was so exciting she said that she wasn 't going to tell me what it was , I 'd have to get it the next time I came over . The big present for this 20 - something / happenin ' bachelorette ? A vibrating alarm clock for hearing impaired people . I am so lame I don 't even know how I can possibly go on . You wanna know the saddest part of this story ? The picture above isn 't the one my mom bought me . Before I could get to my mom 's house I went over to my aunt 's house where my cousin said , " You have a present ! " Then she handed me the vibrating alarm clock . It isn 't everyday that you receive such a wonderful gift . Unless you are me . Then it 's pretty much every day . Have you taken a kid to get a costume lately ? Have you as a result realized that Halloween is no longer a holiday in which kids get dressed up in adorable outfits and go trick o ' treating ? Did you know that Halloween is now about adults trying to win the " Sluttiest Costume " award at their Halloween party ? Seriously . No more cute Annie costumes . Annie 's a slut now . You know how red - heads are . I took my cousin to get a Halloween costume tonight . She wanted to be a devil . This seemed like it would be an easy enough request . But no . Unless I wanted to introduce the ten year old to street walking ( and I ain 't talking door to door ) my options were quite limited . They did have quite a variety of devil costumes though ; the slutty devil in a skin - tight , full - body plastic number , the slutty devil in a mini skirt , the slutty devil in a ripped dress and of course the slutty half devil / half angel , for the religious folk . Unable to find a merely mischievous devil and uninterested in any other costume we began piecing together something " devil - y " . As we wandered the aisles she said , " Think red , think red . " Instead I thought to venture over to the more interesting costumes . And there I found my New Favorite Costume : Thinking I had ditched the kid , I took my camera out and took a picture . As the camera flashed I heard her read , " Blow me . " And then look at me for an explanation on why I thought it was funny . I looked at her , " Tissues . You know , boogers . Funny . " She rolled her eyes , " You 're weird . " I pointed her back towards the devil costumes , " Maybe the slutty devil wouldn 't be so slutty on a short kid , that dress might actually be normal size on you . " Best role model ever . Previously I told you about the ceramic goose that had been abducted from my aunt 's porch . Although the goose is no longer , the dream of dressing small things in ridiculous clothes still lives on in the heart of my family . How convenient that the goose 's clothes fit the dog perfectly . Unfortunately the goose didn 't have aPosted by First Instance : I was at a pub the other night with two friends . ( engaging in my kind of Happy Hour : French Fries and a Coke , I do know how to tear it up on a Friday night ) The two friends get up to go get some more of their kind of Happy Hour : Alcohol , while I man the table . As I sit there , running my finger along the empty french fry plate and then licking my finger , minding my own Happy Hour business , up walks a man that I worked with a few years ago . I didn 't immediately recognize him , as it 's been a few years and the time we worked together didn 't affect me in any significant way . But it didn 't take long for me to realize who he was . Mostly because he came up , stuck out his hand and said , " Dawn , I used to work with you , do you remember me ? I 'm Jim Dandy ( name changed to protect someone I 'm gonna be kinda mean to in a second ) . " I looked at him and after a moment I remembered who he was . In that moment he started to look to the ground , to the sky , to the other people in the bar , to his hands - any place but at me . And then he stammered quite a bit and let out a sigh as well as quite a bit of flop sweat . " Yes , I do remember you Jim . Been a long time . How are you doing ? " Jim had worked in the same department as I for about three months about three years ago . He never really struck me as the confident type , and always made me quite nervous just because he was so nervous all the time . Apparently his nervousness wasn 't unfounded , because he was fired rather quickly from our department . A termination that seems to have impacted him quite a bit , " Well , I , I just , you know , wanted to come over here , and well , see , the thing , I wanted , just for the sake of , you know , and closure . You know . " " Closure . " " Yes , closure . I just wanted to tell you , say that I am , you know , I 'm doing okay . Quite well , actually . Very very well . " " That 's great . I 'm glad to hear it . " " Cause I was , you know , things , sometimes things don 't work out , and I just wanted you to know that I got a job , a great joPosted by I went to get my shots today for my " vacation " to Honduras in a few weeks . I am not able to type much because there are so many holes in my arms right now from various preventative vaccinations . But I do want to share with you a very helpful piece of literature I was handed by my Personal Travel Expert Lady . This was about 40 minutes into her spiel of all the things that could kill me on my " vacation " . She hands me this map : " This map shows the areas where you are at risk for malaria . Where is it you are traveling exactly ? " " Does it really matter ? The ENTIRE map is purple . The ENTIRE map is a risk . You might even get malaria by touching it . " " Well , as you can see , there are some areas , the areas with the white dots , that are safe . " " How can that be ? Are those areas in a biodome or something ? Can people with malaria not go in and out of those dots ? " " Well , you don 't catch malaria from a person , you catch it from mosquitoes . " " And being as though mosquitoes are flying insects there is no way they are going to make their way into those dots ? " " I 've heard of them coming into the city in people 's pockets , yes , so that is a possibility . " " Stow - away mosquitoes ? I was thinking they may , uh , FLY in . " " I suppose they could do that too . Here is the name of a good bug spray . " " I 'm going to be outside saving the world for like 8 hours a day . " " Here is the name of a good bug lotion . It 's time released . You 're gonna want to cover yourself with this . And you can actually wash your clothes in the spray . " " Great . Can I bathe in it as well ? " This is an actual conversation . And it 's in regards to ONE of the roughly 800 billion pieces of paper that we reviewed which went into GREAT detail about not petting monkeys and how water that is " uncomfortably hot to touch may be safe for drinking " . It all combined to make just about the worst travel brochure I 've ever seen . Honestly , if I can 't pet the monkeys what the hell is even the point of going ? It 's October , the month of dressing up . Or if you are the ceramic dog on my mother 's front porch , it 's October , just another month . This month the dog is getting into the spirit of the holiday with quite a little vampire costume . Complete with fangs and everything . And some sort of toupe ? Did Dracula wear a toupe ? I 'm not sure . But I 'm almost certain he wore pants , did he not ? Seems as though Fido is taking Dracula into the new millennium , pushing the envelope and what not . Every time I see Fido I am reminded of another inanimate animal in the family . My aunt used to have a ceramic goose that my cousin would dress up every month ( yes , the aunt that is my mom 's sister . lord help me if this need to cloth ceramic animals is hereditary . ) When she first got the thing I thought she was insane . Not only because she dressing poultry but because she actually thought that no one was going to steal said poultry . " You live in a college town , everyone can see your porch from the sidewalk . Do you really think the goose is going to make it through an entire weekend of drunk college kids wandering by ? " " Who would steal a ceramic goose ? " " Uh , the before mentioned drunk college kids . And it 's not JUST a goose . It 's a goose wearing a parka . That is entertaining . Even if you aren 't drunk . " " But why would they steal it ? " " BECAUSE THEY ARE DRUNK . AND COLLEGE KIDS . Are you not listening ? Drunk college kids have the tendency to literally KILL themselves when they are drinking . That 's how bright they are . I once stole a For Sale sign off one yard and put it on another yard in a different neighborhood , making an entirely new house for sale . " " Because you were drunk ? " " Actually , no , I don 't even think I was drunk . But I was in college . And therefore stupid . " " Would you have stolen my goose ? " " I probably would have . But I would have given it a great home . In my room next to the Neighborhood Watch sign I stole . " " What is it with you and signs ? " " Well , the Neighborhood Watch sign was just forPosted by I am starting to realize that in less than a month I 'm going to be on vacation . When I think about this I start to get a little excited . I can 't remember the last time I went on vacation . A real , leave my house , take a rolling suitcase , stay in a hotel for a period of over three days vacation . As I 'm thinking about it , I think my last vacation must have been when I went to Hawaii two years ago . I went there to run a marathon , and stayed for a week after the big event . ( A majority of that time was spent looking for my kneecap , which fell off at mile 13 ) As I think about that vacation , and I think about my upcoming vacation , I think that maybe I might be unable to take a normal vacation . One that doesn 't involve possible hospital stays . In a couple of weeks my vacation will take me to the fine country of Honduras where I will build houses for 10 days with Habitat for Humanity . Do you see how I might want to revisit the definition of " vacation " ? I doubt " manual labor " is often included when describing " vacation " . This weekend I realized that I will be leaving soon and thought that perhaps I should do the normal " getting ready to go on a vacation " things . You know , like going and buying some new clothes and stuff . And then I remembered that I 'll probably be trashing every piece of clothing I take . Which cuts down on the desire to buy anything new for the destruction . My mother reminded me of some of the things I can get in preparation for the trip : " You should find some old shoes , I bet they are going to get muddy . " " I probably need a hat too . " " Like a cap ? Yes , you should get one to hold your hair back while you work . Oh , oh , you should buy one of those hats that has a brim all the way around , a straw hat . So you don 't get burned on your neck . " " That ought to be cute . " " You can borrow my old suitcase if you want , so you don 't mess up your nice one . " " I don 't think the suitcase is going to be out in the elements . We 'll actually be staying indoors . I think . " " And don Posted by ? s My boss went to pick up my latest piece of printed beauty the other day and found an ever - so - helpful piece of literature that had been printed and offered up by our Print Guy . For the record , I did not want to go with this Print Guy , because he annoyed me by constantly calling and offering his printing services . And once you annoy me , you move out of my " Make an Effort to Deal With " category and into my " Tell Them I Passed Away When They Call " category . But apparently my boss is a little more patient than I and took over talking to the annoying man once I faked my death to avoid his calls . Knowing how fond I was of this man she handed me this helpful piece of literature with a grin and , " Our Print Guy wanted you to have this . " The dude seriously printed these up and is handing them out to his customers . I 'm thinking that is why he has had to resort to repeated calling to try to get new customers . But since this blog is all about informing and educating ( see : Yesterday 's Noodle Story ) I thought I 'd offer you , my dear readers , some tips on finding your way to happiness . Just in case you didn 't realize that your way to happiness was to be found via a print shop in Northern California . This tip was to be found under the " Be of good appearance " rule . This seems to be encouraging nudity , doesn 't it ? As long as you scrub up before you strip down , you 'll be happy . Obviously this is not a guide on the way to happiness for the people around you . Nude and competent . Are there people who STRIVE to be incompetent and could actually be talked out of their incompetence by the mere suggestion that perhaps they would be happier if they weren 't so dumb ? I think that incompetence is like craziness . The incompetent don 't know they are incompetent , do they ? Which makes them very happy , and the people around them not so happy . FINALLY , a rule I can get behind . Nothing worse than incompetent companions , wanting to stop every five minutes at the AM / PM , when you are trying to move along on your road to happiness . Posted by I can 't really think of anything to write about today . And it 's 2 a . m . and I need to go to bed , so I went online , trying to find something to talk about . Because the internet is nothing if not the perfect place to find random - ass things to talk about . And there , listed as a " Top Story " was this headline : " World 's Oldest Noodles Found in China " . It was right below headlines about the Pakistan earthquake and the New Orleans police scandal , and ABOVE a headline about the Supreme Court nominee . And it probably says something about me that I totally ignored any of those other , actually newsworthy pieces of news to investigate this intriguing ( and very " top story - y " ) tale of ancient pasta . Turns out some people ( aka : people who really need to find a more rewarding hobby than trying to find old noodles ) found some really old noodles in an overturned bowl at some archeological site in China . And this is apparently very exciting to someone , somewhere . Because there is nothing else going on in the world to concentrate on , at all . Plenty of time for Phd - educated individuals to be digging for noodles . So then . This noodle discovery is throwing Italy for a loop because , uh , they are ITALY for God 's sake , they ARE pasta . That would be like someone digging in Russia and finding an ancient mullet on the skeleton of a man embracing his cousin - Arkansas would be PISSED . Despite Italy 's desire to maintain their noodle superiority the digger people said , " This is the earliest empirical evidence of noodles ever found . Archaeological evidence suggests that even though wheat was present in northwestern China 4 , 500 to 5 , 000 years ago , it was not commonly cultivated until much later , " Seriously people . Are we SERIOUSLY devoting time to this ? Who friggin ' CARES about what was going on with wheat 5 , 000 years ago ? I really think our obsession with carbohydrates has gone too far this time . A picture , courtesy of whatever website I stole it from : Do you think it 's sad that ancient civilizations are producing more food in tPosted by Dude . The people at the blood bank are ruthless . They will stop at nothing to get my blood . As apparently it is very special blood . Blood that will most likely save entire tribes of men and women with every drop . That is how much they want my blood . That 's got to be it . Why else would the Blood People call me as often as they do asking for my blood ? They must call me twice a week saying they " need " my blood . I 'm like , yeah , well , I 'm pretty sure I " need " it too . So get off my back . Or my veins , as it were . It turns out I have a rare kind of blood . If people with my kind of blood are given another kind of blood they will explode and die . Or something . However , people without my kind of blood can be given my kind of blood and it won 't harm them . Therefore my kind of blood is in high demand , because it can be used for everyone , without risk of explosion . So the Blood People have been calling me off and on for awhile , asking for my blood . And it 's not that I have anything against giving my blood , I 'm just a little scared . Not of needles or anything like that . It 's just that the last time I gave blood I got severely anemic a day or two later . I was all jacked up . I have no idea if it had anything to do with the giving of blood , but I associated it with the blood - giving and therefore I now associate giving blood with being all jacked up . Which is too bad , because I used to associate it with getting a free doughnut . And I enjoy doughnuts . So I gave a lot of blood . But the Blood People don 't understand that I don 't enjoy being anemic , they only understand that they need my blood . And they will not rest until they get it . The messages on my phone have escalated from , " Dawn this is Bloodsource , and we were wondering if we could schedule you for a donation . " ( nice , not pushy ) to " Dawn this is Bloodsource , we really need your blood type this next week and were wondering if we could schedule you for a donation . " ( sensing a little bit of guilt being thrown my way ) to " Dawn this is Bloodsource , yoPosted by Tonight I helped my young cousin carve her pumpkin . It was cute and peaceful and a holiday tradition that we 've shared the past few years . Oh it was quite a moment . I even took a picture : Looks like normal good times with the kid , right ? Reminds you of when you were a kid , carving pumpkins and getting into the spirit of Halloween and what not . Except when we were kids I just don 't quite remember our pumpkins being made out of styrofoam . Do you ? Yeah . Today marks the day that I have officially seen it all . A styrofoam pumpkin complete with three little carving knives and a light to put inside when you are done carving . I 'm really torn on this one . Part of me thinks that it 's atrocious that Halloween has been so commercialized that we cannot even be bothered to go experience the joy of a pumpkin patch anymore . We as a society have forgotten the small , innocent things that made the holiday great : Carving into a new pumpkin , gutting it with our bare hands and turning it into a piece of artwork for all the neighborhood to see . It was tradition . It was a staple of the holiday . It was American . But then again , it was also really , really messy . And more often than not my " artwork " quickly became more " abstract " as it was thrown in the street by rebellious teenagers . I suppose the holiday could survive without pumpkin guts strewn on the neighbors ' cars . And speaking of the holiday , I just remembered that Halloween has always been commercialized . Unlike other holidays Halloween doesn 't even try to pretend like it exists for any reason other than to get us to spend money and eat too many sweets . Halloween doesn 't bother with any of those silly " spending time with family " or " go to church " obligations like other holidays . It 's all about " you have to buy these little boxes of Junior Mints " and " put on a wig and drink a lot of alcohol for no real reason beyond the fact that everyone else is doing it " . Come to think of it I think Halloween would be proud that someone finally thought to cut out Posted by Here is a picture of a receipt I received at the store the other night : The first reason for posting it is to prove that I do in fact only shop for Mountain Dew and Bags o ' Salad . As you can see by this receipt I purchased 6 Bags o ' Salad , one 12 pack of Mountain Dew and well , Twinkies . What can I say . I 've got a weakness for the Twinkies . And I can 't tell you how cute they looked all perched up there , atop the pile o ' salad . Standing firm in their commitment to clogging my arteries and widening my waistline , despite being overwhelmingly outnumbered by salad paraphernalia . The other reason for showing you this receipt is to see if anyone else has noticed that our grocery receipts are now being categorized for our post - purchasing wrap up party we all have once we get home . I know whenever I get home from shopping I always like to take a look at my receipt and really examine what it was that I bought . And I know that I used to have to categorize my groceries by hand , back in the day . But no more ! Now my groceries are categorized for me ! God this is exciting stuff . Not nearly as exciting as the fact that Hostess Twinkies are actually categorized as " Baked Goods " . Yeah . Guess that means there is no " Lard Ass " category . You all know how I love me some movie - hopping . But recently I haven 't been hopping like I 'm accustomed to . Ever since I started writing movie reviews and going to see sneak previews of movies I haven 't really been hopping . Don 't worry , it 's not like I 'm reformed or anything . That 's crazy talk . It 's just that there aren 't really that many movies out to begin with , and when I get to see two or three during the week there just aren 't many left to hop to on the weekends . And no , I haven 't thought of hopping after my free sneak previews . Well , obviously I 've thought about it , or else I wouldn 't have even thought to mention it in this very paragraph . But it seems wrong , even for a morality - vacant person such as myself , to movie - hop after I got into a theater for free . Yet I 'm fine with paying for one movie ( even at matinee prices ) and staying to watch 5 . Morality is such a blurry little line . And I think it can be found somewhere around the concession stand . This week I did my new , slightly altered movie - hopping . I saw two movies in two nights . Kinda like hopping . On like the moon or somewhere with no gravity to bring you down quickly . I saw ' Elizabethtown ' and ' In Her Shoes ' . One made me think I was high . The other made me think I would look stunning if only I had Cameron Diaz 's ass . Let 's start with the high one , shall we ? ' Elizabethtown ' is directed by Cameron Crowe . Cameron Crowe directed ' Almost Famous ' , which is one of my favorite movies of all time . So I 'm always hope that he 's gonna dazzle me again . But he 's starting to lose his luster . First he broke my spirit with his pointless movie ' Vanilla Sky ' ( which my friend renamed ' Vanilla Why ' ) and now comes another sign that excessive exposure to Tom Cruise will make a person crazy . Cruise was in Crowe 's ' Jerry Maguire ' and ' Vanilla Why ' and he even produced ' Elizabethtown ' . And while Cruise is all " anti - happy pills " he is clearly not anti - whatever the hell Cameron Crowe has been smoking the Posted by So . I 'm trying ever so hard to come up with things to blog about everyday . This is not easy when you are working 8745 jobs . Because , " Man , did that yellow come out BRIGHT on that brochure ! " is just not that entertaining ( especially considering we printed 18 , 000 of them ) . And frankly that yellow is about as colorful as things are getting in the Land O ' Graphic Design that I call my life . Let 's just say I 'm not getting out much . But I am still procrastinating with vigor . Which is why I still have fun things to tell you about TV . Cause the TV is like one foot from my computer and it literally calls out to me , begging to be turned on , so that it can share all its wonder with me . And who am I to ignore my TV ? I mean , I am PAYING for cable , and it would be just wasteful to not actually watch it on a regular basis . No one likes waste . ( or really BRIGHT yellow on a brochure , by the way ) As I 've mentioned a million times before , I don 't hear so well . Even though my ears have little microphones in them they still sometimes have trouble deciphering all the noise that is coming into them . So , I keep closed captioning on my TV at all times , and the whole television world is like one big foreign , subtitled film for me . Except without the nudity . Which is a shame . I use the closed captioning as a crutch basically . Generally , with the help of the little microphones , I can hear what is being said , but it is nice to be able to glance down at the closed captioning just to make sure . But sometimes I think that the people typing the closed captioning don 't really understand that not only completely deaf people are using the captions . Because sometimes they don 't so much write exactly what is being said . Usually it 's not that big of a deal , if it 's off , it 's still pretty close . Sometimes in live TV it 's fun to read the misspellings and misinterpretations that come across the screen , because the person is having to type so quickly to keep up with the live show . Some misinterpretations are so bad that I wonder iPosted by " Dawn , this is Maaargaret . " " Hello Margaret , how are you ? " " Well , I am calling to tell you that we are putting your house up for sale . " " Oh , that 's not good . Will I have to move out ? " " Probably not , whoever buys it will probably want to keep tenants . " " Why are you putting it up for sale ? " " Well , I 'm 80 years old . And nobody likes landlords . " " Really . " " And it 's hard finding good tenants , you know . " " I 'm sure it is . " " I mean , no one has good credit . " Me , with the worst credit ever says : " I know , we hate people with bad credit . " " And they don 't have jobs . " " Yes , people with bad credit very rarely have jobs . " " And they are alcoholics . " " Yes , I 'm sure bad credit and alcoholism are related . " " I don 't want alcoholics living in my houses . " " I understand . " " But I can 't ask if they are alcoholics . " " I could see how that might be frowned upon . " " Or drug addicts . " " Uh huh . " " But I can look at their credit . " " Which helps you figure out the rest . " " Yes . " " So when are you selling the house ? " " Well , we haven 't even listed it yet , but I wanted you to know , because we might be having people come by to look at it . Would that be okay ? We 'd give you advanced warning . " " Sure that 's fine . Just let me know , so that I can clean up my meth lab before they come over . " " What ? " " Nothing , just a little poor credit humor . " " Well , there was one lady who said we could look at her whole house except her bathroom . " " Well , that 's where the alcoholics store all their liquor , usually . " " Right , I didn 't know that . " " Stick with me , I 'll teacha . " My parents just got back from a two week vacation . They are retired so they tend to go on a lot of vacations . They need a holiday from all that not working . It can take a lot out of a person , you know . When they returned from their journey they handed me my traditional gift bag filled with souvenirs from the lands to which they had traveled . Given the fact that I am their only child and they were gone for two whole weeks you 'd probably assume that the gift bag would be pretty big , right ? Wrong . Why ? Because I 'm a genius . My parents started testing out this whole traveling thing a few years before they retired . They went on so many cruises they would often get " solid ground sick " instead of " sea sick " . And if you know anything about cruises you know that they stop at a lot of ports . And if you know anything about my parents you know that they felt the need to buy me a gift ( or eight ) at every port . And if you know anything about me you know that it is nearly impossible for me to throw away any gift I am ever given , for fear that decades down the road the gift will magically hold tremendous sentimental value . And if you know anything about the gifts available at ports you know that I was reeeeeaaaallly reaching to think that I was EVER going to find sentimental value in a fluorescent green tank top with a lizard on it . So I realized something must be done . Because fluorescent green is just not my color . I tried telling my parents , " Really , it 's okay , you don 't have to bring me anything back . " But that didn 't work , because they realized that I was telling them this because I didn 't really like the stuff they were bringing back . So on their next trip they went out of their way to find me gifts that they thought I would like . And they ended up lugging a 10 pound chess set that had been hand - carved out of stone all the way home from some faraway coastal land . And then I felt bad imagining them having to carry the extra weight just because I had an aversion to tank tops . And then the genius kicked in . Posted by Damn you Oprah Winfrey ! Damn you and your new video wall that shows inspirational videos played to life - affirming musical accompaniment ! For some reason unknown to me or anyone else I have once again started watching the Oprah Winfrey Show . It 's been well over a decade since I last watched the Chosen One on a regular basis , but somehow I 've been lured back in . Maybe it 's because it 's her 20th year . Maybe it 's because she has a new set . Maybe it 's because I was hoping that in the past decade she had stopped being the only Black woman on the planet with absolutely no rhythm . ( No such luck ) Whatever the reason , I am officially hooked on everyone 's favorite billionaire . What I love most about the Oprah show is the fact that you never have any idea what you are gonna get . I mean , when you tune into Maury Povich you know that you are either going to get abnormally large babies or paternity tests . If you tune into Ellen you know that she 's going to be dancing and trying to make inoffensive jokes . But when you tune into Oprah you can either get Kelly Clarkson talking about snack cakes or a woman who threw herself out of a car after being raped by an escaped criminal . It 's really hard to emotionally prepare yourself for Oprah 's show . Take for instance one of her shows last week that started with an interview with Melissa Etheridge . I 'm like , oh a good old fashioned Celebrity Overcoming Life - Threatening Illness While Learning the Meaning of Life Interview . But noooo that interview was only ten minutes of the show . And there were several other Overcoming / Meaning of Life interviews left to come . Next up was the story of a guy who had been born without arms or legs below his elbows or knees . And yet this kid had become one of the best wrestlers at his college . Then there was the story of a man who lost his leg in an motorcycle accident years ago but with the help of a prosthetic went on to compete in marathons and triathlons . THEN he was hit by a van and left paralyzed from the chest down . But he did vigorouPosted by I wrote a book ! It 's funny ! It 's about training for a marathon ! It 's about me training for a marathon ! ( that 's what makes it funny ) Click below to go to the amazon page where you can order a hundred or so for all your close friends and family who want to train for a marathon . . . Get a signed copy of the book at http : / / shop . dreaminmotion . net / to buy this shirt and many other exciting things like signed books and dogtags !
|
Charlie the defensive end leaned against the edge of his locker , weary now after an especially brutal practice . His whole body ached from countless hits on the tackling sled in the scorching heat . All he wanted was a quick shower before heading back to his condo to rest . He didn 't like talking about his car , period . Especially not right now , after what had happened this morning . Mike the punter stood there , a solemn look on his face . A serious countenance betrayed the sincerity with which he regarded his new assignment . Charlie knew there was no point in arguing . It was one thing when his old Lumina , the butt of so many locker - room jokes , quit on him when he was on the way to the grocery store or the gym . It was another thing entirely when a long - suffering coolant hose finally gave out on the freeway , leading to a huge white cloud of sorrow and a two - hour delay in his attendance at practice . Unacceptable , especially in the NFL . Now Coach had roped in his closest friend on the team to make sure the incident was never repeated . " Charlie , you gotta live some , man . There are guys in the AFL with nicer cars than you . " Mike leaned in closer and told him in a tense whisper : " Stepping up the car game is the first part of stepping up the lady game . You know what I 'm sayin ' ? " Charlie waved his hand dismissively , then turned back to gathering his things into his duffel bag . " Sometimes , I think you shoulda gone to preacher school rather than pro football . " They both laughed at that one . But Mike turned serious again , intent on completing his mission . " 9 AM , Saturday . I 'll come get you . I better drive anyway because you 'd never get the time of day if you rolled up in that P . O . S . " " All right . " There was no point in fighting it now . The writing was on the wall . Satisfied with Charlie 's commitment , the punter turned to leave . But Charlie called after him . " Mike , wait ! Can you give me a ride home ? " Mike laughed as they headed out to the parking lot together , two friends swimming in a sea of expensive automobiles . At home that evening , Charlie gazed out the window towards the ocean , lost in thought . His car was well and truly dead now . A quick phone call to the towing company meant he had washed his hands of the matter . They 'd probably sell parts of it on Ebay to the rabid souvenir hunters that always sought his autograph . Oh well , not his problem now . Even so , he felt pangs of guilt . He remembered the first day he 'd got it , cruising around campus with that nervous athletic trainer in the passenger seat . It was a surprise gift from a booster ; not exactly NCAA kosher , he figured , but he was always told not to worry about such things . A casual mention that he 'd like to be able to go home and visit family more often was all it took for a set of keys to magically appear . He 'd never driven before , but the feeling was incredible . For the first time , he was in control of a machine that was bigger , faster , and stronger than his own body . Around town , he drove cautiously , but on the freeway , he hammered it . That earned him a very friendly traffic stop from a local deputy , who gently admonished the local university 's star defensive player that he shouldn 't be driving quite so fast . Some might have seen this as evidence of invincibility , but afterwards he was more cautious . Keep the speed runs confined to late at night , and there wouldn 't be any trouble . The sentimental value of the car came from what it enabled him to do . Go anywhere , especially to faraway places where nobody could bother him . Blend in with the crowd , and avoid the unwanted attention that had been heaped on him since the start of his college career . He knew full well that the car itself was junk . By the time the Lumina filtered down to his ownership ( or " extended borrowing , " as the booster had so elegantly phrased it ) it was already a decade and a half old . The paint was coming off in large chunks , a trend that only worsened with time . The radio worked occasionally ; the A / C was long since dead and gone . The velour interior was shredded and stained , and the dash curled and cracked from years spent baking in the sun . As he slowly pushed it past a quarter million miles , more important things went wrong . First it was a radiator . Then an alternator . Then a new intake manifold , followed by a head gasket . The latest had been a transmission rebuild , to the tune of several thousand dollars . His teammates castigated him for pouring money into the car , laughing as they jingled the keys to their S - Classes and Range Rovers . At that point , the car went from being a mere tool to a form of silent protest . He kept it as he watched rookies and scrubs with far less talent trade in yearly for the latest in automotive jewelry . He knew half of them would be out of the league in two years , flat broke in three . The madness had to stop somewhere . He had never been comfortable with wealth . There was one car in the immediate family growing up , and Mom and her sister used that for going to work . That was it . It was their lifeline ; it was too valuable to risk on long trips or pleasure drives . They didn 't have the money for gas anyway : not to put in the tank , nor to heat the house in the winter . He 'd never have gotten into football , had it not been for the eagle - eyed high school coach who saw what a rare opportunity he had in front of him . He was more than willing to pay Charlie 's fees , to give him rides to practice , to do whatever it took for the privilege of watching that gigantic teenager ruin the state 's top offenses on Friday nights . The number three most recruited prospect in the country still needed a lift to campus four years later ; somebody stepped in and bought a bus ticket . The glitz and glamour of a major D - 1 program was bedazzling , but he tried to keep his wits about him . Go to class , go to practice , go out and play as hard as possible on Saturday . He was a god as they cruised to multiple national titles , but he used his privileges sparingly . A groupie here and there , a few late - night food deliveries , a new suit for when Grandma died and he didn 't have anything to wear to the funeral . There was always a fear in the back of his mind that the gravy train might be cut off at any moment , and then he 'd be right back where he started . He waved aside the talking heads and the other know - nothings as he stayed out of the draft and finished his degree . He never asked for their attention in the first place . The weekend came . After sidling his immense frame into Mike 's nearly - new A8 , they headed towards the beach . In the most expensive part of town ( far from Charlie 's discrete condo ) , a row of luxury dealerships stood on the main boulevard , a few blocks from the ocean . The glimmer of paint and chrome in the morning sun oozed money . " I don 't want to start , " Charlie responded cheekily . Mike sighed . " Oh fine , Mike . Just pullin ' your leg . Let 's check the Audi dealer first , since you seem to be keeping them in business anyway . " " Yeah man ! You 'll love it . " Thus began an eight - hour adventure into the world of luxury motoring . They formed quite the odd couple , wandering up and down the strip : a thin and dapper ex - soccer player in a thousand - dollar tailored shirt and Italian leather shoes , alongside an enormous wall of a man in a team logo sweatsuit , ballcap , and worn crosstrainers large enough to fit an elephant . Of course Charlie was instantly recognizable , and they had no problem getting attention at any dealer they entered . Too much attention , at times . Many overeager salespeople rushed to what they assumed was an easy mark , not knowing the hesitation of their reluctant customer . Perfunctory autographs and Instagram photos were followed by ecstatic sales pitches , with Mike chiming in as an echo . Although Charlie tried to maintain an air of bemused indifference , he found himself getting drawn in more than he would have liked to admit . He was no stranger to seeing the chariots of his teammates , who were forever champing at the bit to show off their latest acquisitions . He usually paid them as little attention as possible . But these cars … they really were something else . Steering wheels with ten different heating and cooling levels . Twenty different settings for interior ambient lights . Radar adaptable cruise control . Infrared night vision . Monogrammed umbrellas that shot out of hidden pockets . Refrigerated compartments . And this was all on the " low end " cars ; they hadn 't even touched the exotics . Mike begged him to go in the Lamborghini , Ferrari , Bentley and Rolls Royce place across the street , but Charlie put his foot down . He might wind up with a Lexus or BMW after all , but he was not going to go crazy . " Besides , " he told Mike , " God didn 't build me to fit into Italian convertibles . " Even though he was beginning to awaken to the pleasures of high - priced cars after years spent in his velour - lined hooptie , Charlie still couldn 't bring himself to sign on the dotted line . Even the plainest cars on offer seemed ridiculously flashy . He had settled in comfortably to the front seat of a Lexus LS , and thought to himself that maybe this was the one . But when he stepped out and looked at that front grill … Ugh . Maybe he could get them to put a new bumper on it or something . It was getting late . They were nearing the end of the strip , and they were both tired . Mike refused to drive him to the more pedestrian dealerships on the other side of town , which would be closing soon anyway . Charlie steeled himself to buy a car he didn 't really like , just to get it over with . As they argued over the relative merits of an S - Class or a 7 - Series , they came up on the last dealer in the row . It was a small place , with a tiny showroom . It clearly played second fiddle to the rest of the luxury crowd . Charlie looked up bemusedly , wondering if he might yet find something he could tolerate . Suddenly , he froze . As he looked at a car parked in the front row , festooned with balloons and big " FACTORY REBATES " signs , memories came flooding back . He remembered riding along with his assistant coach in one of those , along with four other poor kids . Coach rocketed around town in that thing , yammering a mile a minute about everything under the sun and forever puffing a fresh Marlboro . All as his cargo of awkward , overgrown highschoolers did their best to be polite and not gag on his cigarette smoke . Those were days he 'd never forget . He rushed over to the car , leaving an incredulous Mike standing on the sidewalk . Finding the door unlocked , he climbed inside . They might have the same name , but this one was infinitely more luxurious than what Coach drove . Leather seats ensconced Charlie as he marveled at the dash . The best part , though , was the interior room . No rubbing knees or banging heads . He checked the window sticker . Not an inexpensive car by any means , but only a fraction of the price of most of the other machinery he had examined that day . The exterior was to his liking . A few chrome accents here and there , and wheels that gleamed , but nothing over the top . As an added bonus , the trunk promised to be far more useable than anything else they 'd looked at . He noticed a gaggle of salespeople headed his way , but he didn 't need a pitch . This was perfect . He waved to Mike , still standing where he had left him . " Found it ! " he shouted . Mike broke out laughing , but he was happy . That car had Charlie written all over it . Charlie turned back to face the five breathless salespeople , fresh from their sprint to the edge of the lot . One of them broke into a wide smile and held out his hand , which Charlie grasped with enthusiasm . " Sir , " he asked , " Can I answer any questions about the new Chrysler Town and Country for you today ? " I went to college with a kid like this . I 'll never forget that he used the backs of the papers he had saved from high school to take notes . I 'm not sure if he ever went on to the pros , but like thing is for sure , he got his college education . This is all heresy , or urban legend . Apparently some Indiana Pacers players were good naturedly ribbing Rik Smits about driving a Pontiac . Rik 's reply was that he had to find cars that fit him . I think it happens more then you would like to think . Some people are so scared by their impoverished childhoods that they will literally try to save every nickel they can . Some other people are so humble that they refuse to have any flash while they have more money they could ever spend . Actually , I remember John Wayne saying thank God for GM full sized cars , the only ones left he could fit comfortably in and not have to take off his cowboy boots to drive . I know a guy who 's 6 ' 7 ″ and over 300 lbs . He drives a ' 95 Buick Roadmaster for that reason . As for people who drive old cars , it 's not exclusively frugality , but familiarity as well , like an old pair of jeans . Even the well to do had a habit not long ago of driving ten year old Chryslers and Oldsmobiles . Chances are , you drive a better car than the millionaire next door , who you don 't know is a millionaire . Exactly . Lets say one goes out and buys a $ 40k new car . In five years , it 's probably worth half that . Well take that $ 20k ( or a lot less ) and you could buy , mechanically redo and repaint a nice car . The only difference is that the new cars have safer standards and features . But of course those features are more to worry about as a car gets older . Older cars have less junk on them and less to go wrong . Two weekends ago , it was a nice Saturday and I was out taking a drive in the country . I followed a really nice 60 's Pontiac Bonneville that was completely redone . Surprisingly it was a younger guy driving it ( I just assumed it was going to be a 70 year old guy . ) I thought I could drive that kind of a car all the time . : ) I never had an impoverished childhood ( squarely middle - class ) . Part of me likes flashy cars … the Bentleys , the Ferraris , the Range Rovers … But another part of me likes the idea of stealth - wealth . I would never have lots of money and choose to drive a poorly - built , out - of - shape car , but I might buy something like a Lexus LS or an old Mercedes - Benz Diesel and then preserve it for fifteen or twenty years . In fact , my grandmother has a very , very wealthy friend who kept a mint seventies ' Volvo for years . She was going to finally get a brand - new Prius or CR - V , but became insulted by the salespeople . In the end , she bought an excellently - kept 2003 E - Class from her son , and plans to keep it indefinitely . I gotta ask Kyree , how was your grandmother 's friend insulted by the Toyota salespeople ? ! That level of stupidity ( alienating a good prospect ) on their part is hard to believe . I love a bad dealership anecdote … I 've heard that about certain Toyota salespeople before as well , from a close friend . They wouldn 't even let them test - drive a Camry until they 'd signed a purchase agreement . The Cornell - educated friend and his wife bought a Honda accord instead . My own experience with this kind of hubris was when I was helping a female friend car - shop . We walked into a Honda dealership which at the time was on Ben White in Austin , TX . The salesman proceeded to speak really slowly and say , " This is a s - p - o - r - t - s c - a - r . We only get a couple of these a year . This isn 't a car she can handle ( referring to a 2005 S2000 ) . " Keep in mind my friend could have paid cash for the car right there on the spot . We pulled out of the dealership , made a call to a certain Honda dealership in Killeen , TX , and made a deal for 200 over invoice on their only S2000 . When buying our first new car for my wife - we were eyeing a 2005 Corolla ( don 't judge ) . That was back when Toyotas were flying off the shelves . It was a cold day in the middle of December , and we had just walked in from the blistering cold . There were 8 salesmen sitting at their desks . Some of them looked up at the open door , then resumed their work . Eventually , the front receptionist greeted us . We asked her if someone could help us ( anyone walking in a dealership in that weather could only be wanting to do one thing ) . She made an announcement on the PA system asking for available people to come up , etc . After half a minute , a salesman stood up , seemingly with a resigned sigh , then walked over to help us . To his credit , he was straightforward and non - sleazy . He only went $ 750 above invoice after some half - hearted bargaining on my part ( even though at that time we knew zippo above car buying let alone knowing what the dealer made , etc . ) Agreed . I have several family friends and acquaintances who have done exactly this . They drive their immaculate 90 's Lexus LSs , W126 / W140 S classes , gen 1 / 2 Q45s , or 540I 's despite being able to buy pretty much anything they could want . The last two I can remember who actually bought new cars only did so because their previous cars were totaled in not at fault accidents . When I think about it , at most country / social clubs or wealthy neighborhoods around here you could probably lose any late 80s or early 90s luxury car in the parking lot . These people just like to get their monies worth out of their cars . A well kept 90s luxury car with leather seats , a powerful engine , nice trim , a CD player , AC , and a tape deck is for most people ( non - enthusiants ) the same as a 2014 . They can plug their iPod in with a tape adapter or simply replace the head unit . Supplement , not supplant . If your feelings for the old beater are strong enough , then provided you have the money , the ability to do basic maintenance ( checking fluids , listening for noises , changing oil , replacing trim and hardware ) , and a good mechanic 's number on your phone ( or written down ) for major things if you aren 't so inclined , then there 's no reason not to keep it around . Get a boring midsize sedan ( or something a bit newer and more reliable , anyway ) and use the old car on the weekends , or occasional trips to work , or while the modern car is having its winter tires put on . I wouldn 't necessarily say a Lumina 's worth it - but I 'm sure it is , to someone . After all , my grandfather feels this way about his Sable . This brings to mind the story of Alfred Morris of the Washington Redskins . He has a 1991 Mazda 626 that he refused to get rid of . I just found out that Mazda teamed up with a dealership in the area and took the car and completely restored it for him … it looks great ! Was just going to say the same thing ! Amazing that so many sports figures leave the game broke . Folks like Alfred warm the heart ! I feel the same way about the 1997 Tercel my son drives right now . I know as he progresses through the ranks of the US Air Force , he 'll eventually want something new ( er ) to go along with his fighter pilot status . And though I 'm in position to afford something much nicer ( I am toying with a new Wrangler when I get back from overseas in two years ) , I really want that old Tercel back . Fresh paint and * maybe * a new clutch and she 'd be good for another 200k . Guess I 'll never be a true baller … and I 'm okay with that ! Beautifully written story . Having money for the things you want and more is great . It should be used for exactly for this purpose and not to try to be someone else . In this story , Charlie is just happy that he can move on from the old banger and get on with his life with more reliable automobile . However , it wasn 't sensible for Charlie to hold on to his old car longer than he has to . Too old cars are not reliable , they can cause accidents and in his case make him late for an important game . When you can afford it you don 't want to deal with car troubles . Some people buy cars as show , others buy them for function . If you are comfortable with what you got and you can afford it , it is great . The problem with cars is that you can upgrade them easily but it is very hard and painful to downgrade . Sometimes I wonder what I would do if I was in the same position . I have a pretty strong aversion to " baller " cars as well , so the last thing I would do is rock the standard cheeseball black Range Rover with $ 8000 rims . However I still love cars , so I would probably buy a bunch of great classics from my childhood . I 'd be the guy showing up in an Merc 190 or a 928 ( with checkered seats of course ) . About the Lumina photo : what was it with white Luminas ? They all did that paint - peeling thing . Leave it to GM to find a way to screw up the most durable color ! Going back to NFL players and cars , reputedly Philip Rivers , quarterback of the San Diego Chargers , drives a minivan . Not sure which one , but seeing how he has a large family ( at least 5 kids ! ) that makes sense and he did mention that it 's easier loading stuff into a minivan rather then a taller SUV . That makes sense . His backup from a few years past , Billy Volek , drove a huge lifted F250 … . the BACKUP QB . Almost like this story , Luis Castillo drove a beat up Nissan Xterra and when it broke down , his teammates got him to upgrade to a Lexus RX . He was also initially hesitant like Charlie in the story . He was good , but injury prone and he was cut a few years back . Here 's a funny one though , about 3 summers ago I was driving by the Mission Valley mall in San Diego in my ' 06 Mustang GT ; I had just washed it and waxed it , I had just installed a cold air intake , headers and axle back exhausts and I cruising for the hell of it , drinking in the mean bark my 4 . 6 growled out . I then see a little red car coming the opposite way , a Smart Car . On said Smart Car was a gigantic Hello Kitty sticker on the door . I 'm thinking this has to be a young teenage girl driving this car , has to be . Nope . The car passes me and to my astonishment a HUGE dude is driving it . My jaw drops and I stare back … he must have seen my response as he just smiled back at me as he drove by . When I got home I learned it was Antonio Gauray , a Chargers LINEBACKER . I wish I could post pics here and I probably butchered his last name , but there 's pictures on the internet , though he 's no longer with the Chargers ; Jets or Jaguars I think . That 's awesome ! FWIW , Garay was a 320 pound defensive lineman , pretty much as big as you 're going to see on the football field . He played one season for the Bears before taking his talents to warmer pastures . Can 't say I blame him . the new Town & Countrys are damn nice . Plush interiors , good steering / brakes , tons of power , good transmission , and able to fly at 90mph yet still under the radar . Cheap too . " Monogrammed umbrellas that shot out of hidden pockets . Refrigerated compartments . And this was all on the " low end " cars ; they hadn 't even touched the exotics . "
|
Ten days ago I was helping carry a wooden sunbed up some steps . I was facing forward , holding my end of the bed at my back , thinking this would be a better way to mount the steps . It turns out it wasn 't . I stumbled and dropped the bed on my own calf . It didn 't hurt that much , but since then the flesh of one leg has gradually bruised , like slow - moving oil on water , and has made me uncomfortable , tired and annoyed . All of which meant that at the latest meeting of the anti - oil - and - gas group , at a certain point and rather to my own surprise , and having up to that moment ( about two hours in ) said nothing , I exclaimed , It also means that at the latest demo on the beach , this coming Sunday , I shall not be Sister Anna with the Banner . But I am continuing the good work with T - shirts . A Secret Weapon in LA has designed some great logos for us : the design for the back can be seen below . We 've had an early batch printed up and they will be worn on the beach on Sunday by the banner - carriers , as well as being on sale in a couple of outlets in Tavira . ( All proceeds to the cause , of course . ) And my work can be , and currently is , restorative . I often think what a lucky move it was to have found a means of earning a living that can be achieved in solitude and silence . No blog next week because we will be busy bidding goodbye to guests . And a poor effort this week . No energy to update you on the swallows , who were late out of the nest this morning , perhaps because we 've just had the first rain since May , or to describe the smudge of brown cloud five days ago , blown over from forest fires in the west - now thankfully out . It 's a time of low ebb . It must have taken me a couple of days to notice that the cicadas had fallen silent . They have moved into the next stage of their lifecycle and we won 't hear from them again for another ten months . Swallowtails and Hummingbird Hawkmoths visit our bougainvillea regularly . Our juvenile Red - rumped Swallows go on longer and longer flying trips , but still come home to the nest and demand to be fed , and if we are in the way - leaving our home by the front door , for example - we will experience flying passes at our noses from the parents until we drop out of view . It was neighbour Maria 's birthday and I wanted to make her something sweet . I settled on madeleines , so easy to make , especially when butter can be creamed within ten minutes of being taken out of the fridge . First time round we got the date wrong . We turned up at their house with madeleines in a makeshift box and were met by puzzlement . Amusement swiftly replaced the puzzlement . ' Does this look like the face of someone who likes cakes ? ' Maria circled a stout finger around the circumference of her broad features as she asked . She has a face that , besides suggesting a love of cake , looks for amusement . I often see her features working themselves up to tell an entertaining story . Husband has to be around to understand the story fully , mind you . I still lag far behind in comprehension . So it seemed like nothing at all that I should offer to make a load of biscuit dough for cooking up at the beach in a solar oven , the dimensions and capacity of which I knew nothing about . It was part of our next planned protest action , something for kids , to show them clean energy alternatives and have fun . ( At least we dropped the idea of making human letters in the sand ; that took a bit of the load off . ) I decided the best kind of biscuit dough to manipulate in unfavourable , sandy conditions would be the sort you roll into a sausage - shape and then simply slice . I settled upon pinwheel biscuits as an attractive option . I worked out quantities and made lists of ingredients and thought of all the tools I might possibly need at the beach . In short , I was making a meal of everything , all over again . The capacity of butter to melt at room temperature within minutes began to be less of a bonus as I mixed , then rolled and cut eight mathematically exact oblongs of chocolate and vanilla dough . I made four stacks and rolled each one up , every piece of the equation that wasn 't in immediate use being put straight back in the fridge to firm up again . Next day I packed an insulated bag with rolls of newspaper , as though making a fire , and stashed every ice pack I could find inside . The chilled rolls of biscuit dough went in there . I filled another bag with Opinel knife , baking trays , palette knife , reusable foil , cooling rack , temperature gauge , tea towels . . . The solar oven turned out to be a marvellous , well - loved piece of kit , like a Victorian display case with an angled , silvered flap hinged to its base . The newspaper - stuffed ice - bag did its job well ; the biscuit sausages didn 't descend into the oily , softening mass I had feared . They sliced up perfectly like pieces of jewellery , appropriate for their display case . Then it was just a case of monitoring the temperature - thank goodness for that gauge I brought - while the solar oven 's maker / owner judged the angle of the sun and periodically moved the device around for maximum exposure . Whenever we opened the glass front to extract or insert food , the temperature dropped speedily . It crept back up again only slowly . Altogether at peak heat it reached 99 ° C , if I remember rightly . The cookies made by A turned out to have been a much better idea . They didn 't look as glamorous as my pinwheel biscuits but they achieved the right texture : soft and chewy . The pinwheel biscuits dried rather more than they cooked ; they were edible but lacked crispness . ' No , don 't talk to me about climate change ! ' said one of the boys . ' It makes me scared . I get goosepimples if I think about it . ' Tuesday 's ( today , as I write ) Público has an anti - oil piece by prominent Portuguese novelist and writer Lídia Jorge , who comes originally from the Algarve . She writes beautifully . This is my very rough translation of some of her affecting words : . . . just when the realm of black gold is being shaken by the galloping development of renewable energies , just when everything is heading towards liberation from the dictatorship of crude , [ Portugal ] has handed its territory over for hydrocarbon exploitation . . . The oil companies are sweeping up the last of the fossil fuels from the backyards of the weakest . The concessions signed with Portugal can only be humiliating , blinkered , a compromise to be borne by the next three generations . . . The population is told that the wealth will be returned to the regions and to the country , but people travel and they talk to each other , and they know that the purse that holds the oil money will be kept far away from the hand that does the work . We are not a dramatic country , we are a lyrical one . Here there will not be blood . Here everything ends in saltwater . . . Bodies wrapped in black shiny fabric crawled or were pulled out of the sea ; yellow and green - painted bodies in torn clothing and gasmasks staggered between people reclining on sunbeds . Ilha de Tavira was the scene of Saturday 's art attack , highlighting the perils to humanity of the proposed extraction of oil and gas from land and sea . For the crowds of holidaying beachgoers this distraction from the work of sunbathing was entertaining , puzzling or , in a few cases , alarming . I 'm sure I 'd have been horrified if I hadn 't known what was going on , but then I am a cautious type , which was possibly why I landed the role of ' preparation of the site for the human slogan ' . The sensible decision was taken to keep the slogan short , and in English , since the equivalent in Portuguese would have been twice as long . It was to declare : NO OIL NO GAS . I bore the responsibility for this small task very heavily . First I researched online the making of letters with the human body . The more professional versions not only made athletic demands of the participants but also , for some letters , looked more fitting for the wall of an Indian temple . I found what I thought were the more feasible ones and set about creating a how - to sheet for the gutsy volunteers . My main task , however , was to mark out the site , so I mentally roughed out a size - 2 by 15 metres would do it , I thought - then cut canes into short lengths and tied them together at the right intervals with string . I was assisted in this by a visiting friend . Some ten weeks earlier she had broken both legs when her large and boisterous dog had miscalculated an affectionate greeting and bowled her over at about 30mph . She was by now in leg braces with a crutch , but still managed the trip from London to the Algarve . Let 's call her the Hobbler . We took the ferry to the beach . The Hobbler managed to get on and off the wobbly boat . I was carrying the canes , a heavy rope to form a baseline , and a device for smoothing out the sand . At the entrance to the line of cafes and bars we bumped into A , one of the organisers . The Hobbler and I made our way slowly to the site of the action . The agreed spot was hard to find . Husband had to be called from his other responsibilities to get me to the right location . It was a blazing afternoon and the sand was difficult to walk on for the Hobbler . I managed to find an area that , although obstructing many people 's route to the sea , didn 't actually require my asking anyone to move . I set out the canes , driving them in with my palm . The Hobbler helped where she could , moving around the area on her backside . My sand - smoothing device was a children 's plastic toy rake ; I hadn 't been capable of carrying anything larger . It soon broke . The heat was intense . Tears of sweat ran into my eyes . Using a piece of cane like a rolling pin , I made out the letters in the sand . Beach - users were puzzled but fairly unimpressed . Both the Hobbler and I were beginning to feel quite wretched , albeit for different reasons . Then the bodies started to arrive by sea and across the sands , and the crowds gathered . Photographers came and people grabbed their mobile phones to record the event . Actor - bodyguards pulled bodies from the waves and assisted the poisoned . As the bodies staggered over towards me , Husband - by now at my side having completed duties elsewhere - whipped away the canes . The bodies threw themselves into their well - rehearsed shapes , a photographic drone moving overhead . They held the letter shapes for a while then arose , gathered banners and formed a chanting semi - circle in the sand . They went on to perform other art attacks on the lagoon side of the beach island , culminating in swimming out to board a solar - powered boat , dismantling a make - believe oil rig on it and covering the deck in banners . The ' bodies ' , all those uninhibited members of Tavira em Transição , were amazing . And the protests are gaining ground all the time . After Galp / ENI 's indefinite postponement of their drilling plans came the news this week that Repsol Partex were ' indefinitely postponing ' their October plans too . They have the concession to drill in the sea off the Tavira / Faro coast . But they also serve who only kneel in the blistering sand for an hour raking smooth an area of 30 square metres using nothing but a broken piece of plastic little bigger than a human hand . Afterwards I found that I had burnt both knees and taken a patch of skin off my right palm . O , the mortifications of that day . We needed peace and quiet on Sunday . On the veranda I stooped to pick up a fallen hibiscus flower . Behind it was something mouldy - looking . I got closer . It was a baby bird , grey down waving above its incomplete flight feathers . A baby Red - rumped Swallow , fallen from the nest . Such consternation ! Do we leave it , or feed it , or try to get it back in the nest ? Swallows aren 't ground - dwelling birds . It wasn 't hopping about at the start of life , its anxious parents hovering nearby . Its parents were nearby but unconcerned . They had other chicks . They might even have chucked this one out as superfluous or inadequate . It did look a bit wonky , but then it had fallen from a height . The parents certainly weren 't wasting any resources over it now . That night we drove out to a restaurant but our bird trials were not over . As we arrived in the almost full car park , I saw a rather odd - looking bird mascot on the grille of a Peugeot . It was quite realistic . No , wait , it was real . It was what was left of a dead bird . No , hang on , it was alive . It was the head and breast of a panting and panicking bird . Hobbler and I got out of the car while Husband went to find a space to park . We poked around in the radiator grille and got pecked at . Nothing wrong with the bird 's neck or beak then . To get it out without being savaged , we needed a tool . Hobbler withdrew a pen from her bag . I pushed the fingers of my left hand into the grille . I located a claw , which found purchase on my hand . I could feel the bird push its leg against me . On the other side , I wormed the pen in along the bird 's back . I gently pulled , the bird pushed , and it burst out of captivity and flew unevenly across the car park . It had managed deftly , ungratefully , to stab me as it escaped . I don 't know if it had a bright future or was going to be an easy meal . Either way , it had to be better than a slow death in the grille of a Peugeot . Our fallen bird at home was still alive that night , and the following day . It shook barely perceptibly and made feeble noises when it could hear its clutch - mates calling to their parents . It was breaking our hearts . Monday night was a thunderstorm and heavy rain . In the morning , the bird was gone . It had been assumed * into heaven by some agency , perhaps Little Owl . Galpgate has opened , and doesn 't look like closing any time soon . This is the revelation that the oil company Galp - who recently postponed ' indefinitely ' their drilling plans off the coast of Aljezur in the western Algarve - have been mining Portuguese politicians for human resources to add to their bookable reserves . * A privately chartered aeroplane took , among others , three secretaries of state to France for the Euro2016 games : all expenses covered and tickets to the games supplied , including , in the case of Rocha ( ' Rock ' ) Andrade , secretary of state for fiscal affairs , a seat at the final . That particular Rock was no doubt well worth drilling , since as fiscal boss he is in charge of Galp 's many and large tax debts to the state , which the oil company is refusing to pay . The other two grubby - handed secretaries are Jorge Costa Oliveira and João Vasconcelos . Vasconcelos looks particularly grimy because he is in charge of Galp 's application for public subsidies for the building of an oil refinery . Here on the ground we keep up our fight against all the oil and gas companies . In preparation for a beach event this coming Saturday , a discussion and rehearsal group gathered one evening on the sands . Saturday 's event is an art attack , requiring creative , devil - may - care , outgoing types , of which we have plenty in the group . Feelings , however , were running high . What is at stake - the health and wellbeing and livelihoods of the many against the destructive greed of a tiny few - would make anyone febrile . Add to that some anxiety about how things will turn out - the human chain event was a huge success , but who can guarantee the same again ? - then toss in a few unpredictable aspects of the artistic personality , and fissures start to open up . We ended up with some constructive decisions , plus a whole lot of hurt feelings , and a few people wondering whether they can even participate . The price of activism . It 's worth it , but it 's a difficult journey in so many ways . Against all this , there is such joy and peace to be found at home . We have two new chairs , hand - made by Robert Harris . They are on the front veranda , from where we look out at the meditation hill as the day fades , watching the tree - spotted , straw - blonde earth turn slowly to rich ochre and then eventually to grey . At the other end of the veranda , the swallows are as happy in their home as we are in ours , and sometimes like to sit on the washing line and enjoy the same view that we do . Still no sign of chicks being fed , but so much activity in and out of their mud house that surely it can 't be long . Just as I was about to post this blog , Husband came dashing in . He 's heard the sound of chicks , he says . The Algarve is bursting with fairs and festas at this time of year , but I don 't seem to be able to make an appearance unless hanging off a banner . The mountain festival in São Brás de Alportel was one such event , big and well - organised , with much speechifying broadcast over speakers placed around the venue . Our friend Nemesio had organized with the local authority to have a stand collecting signatures against oil and gas prospection . This was specifically to add to the numbers of people objecting to Galp / ENI 's plans while the public consultation period , ending on 3 August , was still under way . It was a huge success . I only managed to appear for a couple of hours , but I found , as I have before , that the process of mustering support is a fascinating one . Most people need just a little encouragement to sign . Other people come up of their own accord , sign with determination , take out their ID and carefully record the digits against their signature , and then , when thanked , say , ' Thank you . ' Almost nobody bats you away when they realise what you are asking for . There 's no doubt that the fossil fuel industry 's plans for the Algarve - and other parts of Portugal - meet with minuscule or zero support from the people . It 's all about a few corrupt politicians , most of them in the previous administration . Two things from last week 's blog have not come about . ( Three , if I include the swallows . ) This is part of the great fun of writing a blog . One was my confident prediction that I was entering a period of work - free clear blue space . I imagined the hours spent in the glistening water of the pool beneath the glorious azure skies . Then I got a horrible , monstrous flu . This is the first time I 've written this blog from a sickbed . The sun is blazing away , the pool is glistening , but I 've been wrapped up in the dark for days . It 's fading away now . ( And it 's why there are hardly any pictures this week . ) Much better , however , is this . The relentless pressure by activists is paying off . On 29 July , Galp / ENI announced the indefinite postponement of their plans to drill exploratory oil wells . Not only that , they did it in a marvellously huffy way . ' We had everything ready to start operations and we had to stop , ' said chairman Carlos Gomes da Silva , blaming the hard - won extension of the public consultation period for his woes . Another reason is the belated force given to an EU directive requiring enhanced safety measures for such operations . Forcing Galp / ENI to do their work properly was obviously too much to ask of them . The chairman suggested darkly that Portugal was missing its chance to become Norway . The suspension has no recommencement date . The mayor of Tavira has given a brief interview to the press in which he reiterated his absolute objection to the presence of an oil and gas industry in the Algarve , whether onshore or offshore . This is more progress , because for a long time he was apparently only concerned about what would happen on land . He also confirmed that the mayoral group has filed two injunctions against the activity . We can have oil , or we can have tourism , he said . He knows which side his bread is buttered on . The Red - rumped Swallows still do not have hatchlings . They are continuing to bring in soft bedding material to the nest . And we 're rather puzzled by the appearance of a third adult ; we haven 't been able to establish its sex , or its role in the current set - up . It 's all terribly modern . We continue to wait and see . The pool . We use it only mornings and evenings ; during the day the sun is too powerful . These times happily coincide with the passage of the bee - eaters over our heads Occasionally a tiny piece of heavy machinery will hum past your ear and land on a nearby tree with great firmness as though suctioned into place by a force within the bark . It is a cicada on the move . It is a stout insect with a wide , squared - off head that has a large eye on each corner , and lacy , overlong wings . The males ' collective noise - it is only the males - seems to make the air pulsate . They do it , I have read , by vibrating a membrane on the abdomen . I haven 't been able to get close enough to see this in action , if it is visible at all . For most of the year we experience silence and birdsong . The months of high heat and slow movement are filled with this plangent , plaintive sound . It is the inescapable sound of summer . The Red - rumped Swallows do not yet have hatchlings , but they must have eggs , for they are being furtive and shifty . The confident industry of nest - building was a different mode for them . Now , if I look up at their nest as I leave the front door , I might just see a shiny blue crown at the neck of the tunnel , which will quickly withdraw . I wait , then it re - emerges , big round eyes checking me out , then disappears once more into the safety of the nest . If I stay put for a few more seconds , it realises it has to disregard me and fly off anyway . Sometimes in the evenings we hear them in their mudhouse , madly tuning their tiny analogue radio . They still can 't find that elusive channel . But the oil and gas threat never goes away . There are reprieves : promises of judicial action to undo the unethical contracts , drilling start dates delayed , government debates that suggest a degree of awareness at least . While I was buried in manuscripts , Husband , when not similarly buried under a mound of bread dough , was out on the anti - oil beat . The President of the Republic , Marcelo Rebelo de Sousa , visited a nearby town of Loulé and was met by protestors . He shrugged off their concerns with a rather puzzling comparison between finding oil in the Algarve and flying to the moon . It isn 't possible to analyse this gnomic comment with any degree of success , so I 've given up trying . The facts remain that deep - sea oil drilling - of an ' exploratory nature ' - is due to start off the western coast of the Algarve on 3 August , while oil company Repsol have been rubbing their hands with glee for several years in the knowledge of a vast gas field containing half a trillion cubic feet of recoverable gas off the coast nearer to us , related to a similar field in the bay of Cádiz . Last week Portugal 's environment minister came to Tavira to enjoy a sunny afternoon in the company of the town mayor . Together they were to open the new boat departure area for Ilha de Tavira ( namely , a concreted - over stretch on the mouth of the river ) . Neither of them was expecting to be met by an anti - oil protest . It is amazing how effective six people can be when they show up at the right time and position themselves and their banners behind politicians on a photo shoot . What else is to be done ? How about all getting together and holding hands on the beach to form a human chain ? Yes ! Anything is better than nothing , and this turned out to be very good with hundreds of participants , perhaps a thousand if you include the many beachgoers on the hugely popular Ilha de Tavira who were persuaded to hold hands for a while in between running to the sea and back . A couple of press reports can be seen here and here . Typically of such events , estimates of numbers involved vary widely . . . I was back from London in time for the beach protest . As I arrived at the beach site where protestors were gathering , someone from Tavira em Transição spotted me - this is a citizens ' movement I am part of - and asked me to take hold of the bamboo pole supporting one side of a large protest banner so she could run off and do other stuff . Husband and our two Lisbon friends had gone elsewhere in the line . The other side of this banner was held by someone I didn 't know , but who was fabulously vocal in the anti - oil chants and gave good interviews to the press . I held on to my bamboo pole from then on , and didn 't let go until it was time to roll the banner up and put it away at the end . I politely declined to be interviewed when a TV reporter came to me with his red microphone ; I put this down to my lack of Portuguese , but it 's also got a lot to do with the fact that I don 't much like talking . Holding on to a banner : it 's a great role for an introvert at a manif . Just shove me in that direction and I 'll be there , hanging on , for as long as it takes . Now that it is high summer we live with the plangent sound of cicadas . The Golden Orioles add their whistle , and the Bee - eaters test their collection of recorders as they pass by overhead , like a junior school orchestra getting ready for a concert . Two Short - toed Eagles can be seen gliding silently along the valley . A female Blue Rock Thrush dips and bobs on the corner of the front veranda , within view of my desk . She says chuck - chuck , and looks like a miniature cormorant . I was missing the heartbreak jangle of the serin . I wondered what had happened to him . Then we spotted a nest in the smallest and thinnest of our cypresses , one that we pass within inches of several times a day . All his frantic singing paid off . Tiny grey beaks surrounded by feather - stalk antennae poke waveringly and unsteadily out , glimpsable only with patience and good binoculars . Very close to home , right outside the front door , the Red - rumped Swallows are hard at work . I stand at the door and poke my long - lensed camera in their direction for two or three minutes a day . They put up with it . Besides , they know that in a few more days the upside - down dome will be complete and we will no longer be able to see them . As their nest grew , they had more to balance on , and less mud landed on the veranda floor . On the other side of the nest , not visible from inside the house , is what will be the tunnel entrance . Access will require them dipping through here and under the original hook , which they infilled with mud like a reinforced internal wall . It 's all well planned and highly skilled . Work only slowed down on Sunday . I imagine this was more because of the ricochet of hunters ' shots than the imposition from on high of a day of rest . We were happy to see them back on Monday . Two weeks ago we were in Lisbon , part of a group to present the government and the DGRN ( directorate for natural resources ) with thick files of petitions and arguments against oil exploration in the Algarve . We were in the support section . Husband waved the box lid from a set of scales that has become his protest ID . If you look at it from the right angle , it says Rasga O Contrato ( ' tear up the contract ' ) . From any other angle , it is simply the box lid from a set of weighing scales . The mayor of Aljezur came up to say hello ; he recognised Husband by the box lid . The Mad Hatter letters spelling Frack Off in my trilby , never that effective , came to a damp end on a café floor . On Friday 1 July the topic came up in Parliament . The drilling off Aljezur had already been postponed from 1 July to 3 August . The session voted for the immediate suspension of the development of oil and gas exploration by means conventional and unconventional . ( A suspension only , but still good . ) Environmental Impact Assessments are now to be made obligatory from the exploration phases ( required by an EU directive but hitherto ignored by the ENMC , the fuel entity ) . The likely impact of oil development on tourism is to undergo a proper socio - economic study . And the process of the original issuance of the contracts is to be searched for irregularities , which could allow the contracts to be declared null and void . These achievements have been forced particularly by people on the ground in the Algarve , most but not all Portuguese . As for us two , we 're cheerleaders . We wear our silly hats and wave our box lids , and as such have been caught by press photographers rather more often than I would have thought likely . The red - rumped swallows have been checking out the ' ghost ' nest again and , what 's more , carrying mud to it in their beaks . Spots of the mud have fallen to the ground . I guess it takes a while to get the foundations to stick We wake up to birdsong . We get up to find the kitchen covered in thrumming wires of ants . They crisscross the floor and travel up the walls . It doesn 't matter that we leave the kitchen spotless at the end of the day , it only takes a homeopathic trace of something sweet in an overlooked spot to bring them in overnight . Confident in nature 's sustainable surplus , we vacuum them up , the sound of the hoover drowning out the birdsong . This goes on for half an hour as they continue to stream in . Not only are we confident that the species will survive whatever we do to it , we are also confident that our own colony will survive whatever we do to it . Somewhere beneath the soil in the garden is an ant volcano , spewing ants . Another distinctive note in the house 's soundscape this week has been a snake throwing its body against the garage door . I heard the strange bumping noise before I saw the cause . At the moment our eyes met , it stopped what it was doing and shot off to the other end of the garage wall to disappear around the side . Dark silvery grey on top , pale silver underneath , about 120cm long ; I don 't know what kind of snake it is , but I did later discover what it had been trying to do . It had been trying to get back inside the hollow of the garage door . The snake must have had a few days of calm when we weren 't using the garage . Probably thought it had made a very clever choice , this thoroughly modern dwelling , all angular and metallic . Then the solar engineers arrived and needed to use the garage space , and up and down , up and down went the door , the poor snake 's tail protruding from one side , its home turned into a hideous fairground ride . I think it 's gone somewhere else now . Human beings - we 're not easy to live with , are we ? We travelled east to west , to Aljezur on the other side of the Algarve , to take part in an anti - oil human chain . Aljezur is close to where the first offshore oil drilling is due to take place in July . The meeting time and place was three o ' clock outside the town hall . It was quite a long drive but we arrived in good time at about twenty to . Will we never learn ? There was nobody there . Really , not a soul . We went away to drink coffee and came back at five past three , rather guiltily late , and now there were three or four souls there , quite a long way off the amount you 'd need for a decent chain . So we hung around , and kicked our heels , and got into a conversation or two , and over the course of the next couple of hours the other links in the chain rolled up . It ended up as a very good solidarity event . Several hundred people , including the local mayor and other dignitaries , and plenty of press too . We made a good display , waving banners and singing and dancing . It has to be said , it was not a risky chain . We were not surrounding an oil drill or heavy machinery or hostile operators . The only risky part was when two ends of the chain were instructed to move and set off in different directions , and Husband and I and our immediate neighbours somewhere in the middle got stretched out slightly more than was comfortable . The problem was resolved with the help of a loudspeaker , and the chain began moving with more singularity of purpose . We probably need to take chain lessons from ants . No blog next week because of another kind of overstretch - workload . This means that the next time I write , the results of the UK 's referendum over its EU membership will be known . My postal vote has already been returned to Tower Hamlets in east London . I 've voted to remain , but in two weeks ' time I might find myself out of sync with my countryfolk , and be typing through a veil of tears . Estrela turned up by herself - which she has never done before - and spent a couple of afternoons in the back garden . There was not a peep from her , just the occasional rustle of the gravel and tinkle of her bell . I think she knew Husband had gone away and felt that I should not be on my own Rolie gave up on me this week . I was in the petrol station in our local village and had just added 10 euros ' worth of top - grade fuel to his tank when he decided not to start up again . Not a hint . Barely a click . I pushed him to the side of the forecourt with the help of the pump lady . I phoned Costa but no luck : the answering message said the number was no longer in use . I walked to the workshop in the Cooperativa at the other end of the village where he has been rebuilding an old Mini and asked his portly friend if Costa was there . No , he wasn 't , and the friend wasn 't sure when he 'd be there again , maybe the next day or the day after , maybe not . Oh well . Time for a coffee and cake , and to check some Portuguese vocabulary using the mobile phone . The walk home from the village is only forty - five minutes , and it 's beautiful . I had done it the day before , both ways . Nightingales sang along the route , and an unidentified plant was expelling its seeds with a tiny hush followed by a tak as the empty , dry seedpod hit the ground . I had been offered a boleia ( lift ) on the way out but turned it down , explaining I liked to walk . I didn 't mind the prospect of the walk again , except that today I wasn 't properly clad . I was too hot in my jeans , and my new yellow shoes would take a battering in the dust . I had no towel to dry my feet with after going through the river . In the café an English - speaker with an American accent and a laptop was on Skype to his partner , a woman with an English accent . It was impossible not to overhear so I listened in . It was a discussion about the advantages of living here , with the man trying to persuade the woman . As I got up to go I passed the Skyping man and I figured he wouldn 't mind an interruption . I caught his eye and told him they should definitely move here . He smiled and returned to his conversation : ' Did you hear that ? ' In my head I had practised the Portuguese for ' Is it OK if I leave the car here ? I 'll be back when I can . ' I didn 't know when that would be since I couldn 't get hold of Costa and Husband was away in Germany for a week . I was going to be house - bound at the end of the world , unable to go anywhere unless on foot . I 'd miss a few appointments . ' Hello , how are you ? I saw the Renault . Have you tried to call me ? The old number does not work . I have a new one . I give it to you . I 've been in France . I saw your ' usband the other day . We passed each other on the road . What 's this sticker ? [ It was my Nem um Furo anti - oil protest sticker . ] How is the car ? Is there a problem ? ' It seems that Costa , in addition to offering the best after - sales service on the planet , can now be reached by thought - wave alone . He talked me through how to restart the car when both car and weather are too hot . He coaxed Rolie back to life , attended to a few things under the bonnet , made sure he started a second time , then a third , and handed the keys back to me . What 's the future for Rolie ? It might be possible to convert him to an electric car , though my hopes are not high . So one day he 'll go for scrap or become a curiosity . I 'd like to think the whole of the oil industry was heading the same way and at the same speed , though I fear Rolie will be out the door first . It sometimes feels as if the oilmen have our warming planet in a stranglehold grip . The only thing to do is to try to prise off each finger one by one . If you get one finger to let go , another tightens , so you just have to keep trying . The grip might be rigor mortis , but it is all the tighter for that . So far Portugal has been fairly free of the deathly grip , but not for much longer . The Algarve , a place drenched in the free and exploitable - and clean and renewable - energy of the sun , to name but one alternative source , has been handed over to the oil companies to drill and frack . They took us for mugs , but the protests have been loud and strong , and the oilmen have got rattled . One industry response has been for those who hold the concessions off the west coast of the Algarve , Galp / ENI , to keep quiet about drill dates until the last possible minute , reducing the time for consultation and dissent . So it 's been only for a matter of days now that people have known they plan to start offshore drilling as early as 1 July 2016 . If 4000 people sign this petition before midnight on 21 June , then the matter will be raised for discussion at the Assembleia de República . ( You need a Portuguese fiscal number or a European passport ID number to sign . ) Off the southern Algarve coast , the concession holders Repsol - Partex have brought their drill dates forward from October to September . They also requested authorisation to use Loulé municipal helipad as base for their drilling ship 's medevac helicopter . The town mayor , who like the other Algarve mayors has expressed his commitment to stopping the oilmen , showed what he 's made of . He said no . This is a horned dung beetle . It 's an ex - beetle , in fact ; I found it by the garage . It 's about 3cm long . Its position in this post so soon after the mention of oilmen is not meant to prejudice the beetle in any way The kitchen smells of fresh apricots . They are falling from the tree unless we catch them first . A nice but not especially productive afternoon would be to sit between the pool and the apricot tree catching the fruit as it drops . Life does not yet allow for such indulgences , so the other way to harvest the fruit at its ripest is to glide your hand as gently as possible under the soft warm bottoms along the length of each branch , see which ripe , speckled apricots detach themselves unresistingly into your palm , then eat them immediately . Overnight , unseen , about two dozen will fall and have to be sought out in the morning from among the bedding of Hottentot fig below the tree ; these go into jam . I turned to the cookbooks on my shelves for recipes for apricot jam and chose the one that rather pleasingly involved the use of a mallet . The tender , yielding apricots are easy to prepare : halve them with a knife and remove the seeds , which takes about 3 seconds per fruit . The seeds you wrap in an old tea towel , and this is where the mallet comes in . You bash the seeds to shatter the shells and extract the soft kernels . This is a recipe from the highly rated Australian food writer Stephanie Alexander . I found a similar recipe from equally highly rated Irish food writer Darina Allen , but she failed to specify how you get the kernels out of the shells . You cook the fruit down ( I used 1 . 5kg for my first batch of jam ) with a little lemon juice , add an almost equal amount of warmed sugar and a small handful of the kernels you have managed to extricate from the shards . Cook on a high heat until a sugar thermometer reads 104 ° C , which takes about 15 minutes . Pour into super - clean jars . It helps a lot if you have a funnel , and of course a thermometer , both cheap items . The first jar of jam was opened the very next day , and is delicious . It must be one of the easiest things I 've ever made . Cookbooks are generally resistant to recommending the use of thermometers - I know , since I 've copy - edited hundreds of them - and it 's because you don 't want to make a recipe unusable to someone who doesn 't have a particular piece of kit , and because you don 't want to turn a kitchen into a lab . But actually thermometers are great and well worth having , at least until you have the experience that enables you to tell when ingredients are ready by sight and sound and smell alone . Then I got curious about the apricot kernels and wondered whether they were added for flavour - they have an intense almondy scent - or because they aided setting . So I asked Mrs Google , and quickly found myself in a world of furious argument over whether or not apricot seeds cure cancer . It seems that some people sell / buy the seed kernels alone and eat them medicinally . I quickly turned away again , happy to rely on the sensible and practised recipes of cooks . The swimming pool engineer came round to explain how to run the pool and how to clean it . He is Portuguese with good English , which he was kind enough to use for my benefit . I 've become very fond of Portuguese English . ( Or it might be Algarvian English , I 'm not sure . ) I love the use of ' imagine ' , which is part of any instruction . ' Imagine you want to clean the pool , then you . . . ' etc . I also love the cadence , which rises and rises , then ends on a two - note rise + fall . And so you do . There is a hoover attachment which sucks up the particles that settle on the bottom of the pool and miraculously doesn 't suck up all the water as well . Not for the first time I realise that I don 't have a brain for engineering . The vox pop vote after last week 's TV debate ran for 24 hours after the show was broadcast and the vote against oil exploration in the Algarve crept up , so that in the end it was 72 per cent against and 28 per cent for . Jorge Moreira da Silva , ex - minister for the environment and one of the grinning villains of the oil saga , took up ( or paid for ? ) an opinion piece in a national newspaper on 23 May to declare himself the victim of a campaign soaked in lies . He listed his rather feeble green credentials and went on to say that the oil contracts were fine and were really only for mapping resources for the benefit of the Portuguese state - this is a lie , or at best an obfuscation . One of the contracts has been shown on television and we know it allows for subsequent exploitation of resources . He also posed a couple of rhetorical questions : should a member of the government allow his own environmental convictions stand in the way of the Portuguese state learning about its resources ? Should a member of the government allow his own environmental convictions stand in the way of a law applied since 1994 ? ( A law that allows the Portuguese state and environment to be ripped off for the benefit of business . ) How the poor man must suffer for his beliefs ! To be capable of such contorted arguments as this , you would expect him to have good debating skills . Yet he refused the invitation to appear on the television programme . The other grinning villain , Paulo Carmona , was there , and made a holy show of himself . Next → Edith the Editor , likeness by Lucy GordonI craved fresher air , scents in spring time , especially that of orange and lemon blossom , a warmer - coloured daylight and a darker shade of night . My husband craved an old rural bread oven to restore to life and to bake in . This is a blog about deciding to leave one country and trying to settle in another ; about leaving the big city behind . My promise : one entry per week on a Wednesday morning for a year . ( Unless a fox takes me out . ) Update : and then , after three years , I decided to stop writing the blog , but life goes on as ever , and the permaculture project is settling in nicely . . .
|
As a child , I always loved leap day . I had planned an interesting outing with Liam - our last weekday together before I start work next week . However the fates intervened and conspired to keep us home today . Liam woke up with a bit of the flu and had diarrhea all day . Icky ! I was equally pitiful due to some minor surgery on my foot yesterday that left me with too much gauze to get my foot in a snow boot . . . and there is FAR too much snow on the ground to wear sandals . It is probably just as well that we stayed home . . . I just wish that we felt better . We ended up paling around the house . We watched some Wallace and Gromit while snuggling on the couch , colored some animals for Liam 's ABC scrapbook , sang songs , and changed lots of diapers . This week is all about transitions . The past couple days Liam has been transitioning to daycare . In the first photo he is all dressed and ready for his first day of " school " . On Tuesday and Wednesday we spent the morning at daycare . I observed , but didn 't get too involved and just let him play . He seems very at ease and comfortable there . This afforded me the opportunity to get to know his teachers better and talk to them about my parenting philosophy . The teachers seem pretty ok with cloth diapering and with our requests to feed him mainly food we provide . So that is a good start . On Wednesday the Music Man came with lots of drums for the kiddos to play with . Liam enjoyed it , but I have noticed that he is not as likely to stay put for play , music , or stories as the other kiddos are . I suppose he will learn how to do this with time . I have to admit that I don 't think it 's very reasonable to assume that kids will sit still at this age , but I 'm sure he will be socialized to conform . Even at lunch time , Liam is likely to get up from the table way before the other kids finish their meal . Liam doesn 't eat as much and is always ready to go , go , go and get into the next fun thing . At home he is more likely to sit at the table because there are fewer distractions . This morning Sean and I dropped him off for his first full day alone . I went to my orientation at work , which was shorter than I expected . So I dropped by daycare to see how he was doing . He was playing just great ! Whew ! Now I just have to cross my fingers that the nap time routine will go smoothly . On Thursday and Friday we went to our usual Great Start play groups . It was kinda sad , because these were our last ones before I start work full time . To my surprise , Liam seemed to sense that we weren 't going to be coming back and spontaneously started giving hugs to all the other little kids , especially the cute girls ! At the Thursday play group he hugged a girl named Autumn so hard that they fell over together and poor Autumn was startled . At Friday 's group he kept hugging a girl wearing a cute dress covered in hearts . . . if only I had my camera ! This weekend was the annual Lansing Orchid Society Show at MSU . As always , Sean and I prepared artwork to enter in the competition and brought our cameras to take lots of new photos ! My mom came up for the weekend to see the orchids too . She took this picture of us at the show . . . she had some difficult subjects , because we were too wiggly . We also celebrated my birthday on Saturday with a " chocolate tasting " party . I made hot - fudge cake , white chocolate bread pudding , and some assorted savory dips . Our guests also brought chocolate treats to share . It was definitely sugar overload ! Liam was super wound - up because he kept begging sweets off of people . In his spastic - ness he accidentally head - butted me while I was talking and caused me to bit my tongue . Ouch ! I 'm going to feel this for a few days ! I did manage to get Liam on my lap just long enough to take this cure picture with our friends Alissa and Ashtyn , and Eva and Hannah ( from left to right ) . On Sunday , Liam enjoyed playing trains with grandma before breakfast . Later in the morning we went back to take more pictures of the orchids . While daddy was using the camera , I took Liam into the Children 's Garden area to play . He really enjoyed it in there . . . it made me realize how much he loves the outdoors and misses summer ! He loved watching the koi in the pond , petting the bronze giraffe , and paging through a book about plants . I can 't wait for the spring thaw ! UPDATES : And now to regale you with Liam 's accomplishments ! He 's had a flurry of new words and signs over the past two weeks . The big one was " please " , which he used for the first time on the 16th . Other words I 've heard fairly regularly are : eat , fish , more , truck , car , train , video , water ( it 's more " wower " , but I know what he means ) , dede ( the name of his pacifier ) , read , fish , color , and dog . I 'd say that his vocabulary is getting close to 20 - words . I also heard him say the sentence " Where is it ? " . . . he tries to parrot back sentences on occasion . After watching all my friends toddlers signing like crazy on SaPosted by Today was pretty low - key . Liam and I ran some errands and I went to my doctor for an alignment . I had high hopes to take Liam to the MSU museum in the afternoon , but he took an unusually long nap . So those plans were out . Bummer . The only really cool thing about today is that there is a full lunar eclipse , which started about 20 minutes ago ( that 's 8 : 45pm local time ) . I took a few blurry digital pictures before it started and just took some slide - film pictures before coming to post . Unfortunately , both Liam and daddy were too tired to stay up and witness it with me . PS - The perverted frosty finally died ! Today I turned . . . ahem , that 's none of your business ! Let 's just say today was my birthday ! There wasn 't much time for celebrating , however . I had a busy schedule . In the morning I attempted to take Liam to story time at the local library , but that didn 't go well . Instead we came home and prepared for Lindsey and Scarlet coming over . Lindsey watched Liam for me while I attended a meeting on campus . Liam slept for most of the time , but enjoyed playing with Scarlet when he got up . Scarlet had so much fun that she didn 't want to leave when it was time for her to go . Liam gave her a kiss goodbye and that seemed to make her happy ! Then Liam and I went to meet our friends Eva and her daughter Hannah , and Lisa and her daughter Lesli , at the Impression 5 science museum . We had been trying to plan an outing together for some time and I was happy that it happened on my birthday . The kiddos got to explore the new toddler room at the museum . They had climbing toys , a play house , a water table , a light table , and lots of other cool toys too ! Liam enjoyed it all , but especially liked splashing with the water toys . ( At home he begs for a bath every day ! ) After the museum it was back home for a quick dinner and then off to work for me . Whew ! What a crazy day ! I can 't hardly believe that another year has flown by ! Last night , after Liam went to bed , I finally sewed him some sweater pants . They are made from the sleeves of old wool sweaters . I had a couple sweaters that I no longer wore , so I put them to re - use as pants for Liam . This morning I put a pair on him . . . I think he looks pretty cute , don 't you ? ! Over the weekend , grandma Kathie and auntie Rae visited us . While they were here , we went to our favorite pet store to get some fish for the 10 - gal tank that we set up in the dining room . Once the fish were acclimated , we let them loose in the tank . Everyone thoroughly enjoys this great tank set up . It 's very zen . We also did a lot of thrifting over the weekend . I managed to get a nice wardrobe set for my new job . We also found a nice little set of ABC books for Liam during our shopping adventures . After grandma and Rae left , Liam missed their play and attention . He spent the rest of Sunday crawling and hanging on me like a monkey . To celebrate Valentines , Liam wore an outfit of red and I wore an outfit of bright pink . At playgroup , they broke out the parachute to play with at music time . The kiddos were nearly hysterical with joy and us parents were laughing up a storm too ! I took a few blurry pictures and short videos of the fun . I bet you 'll enjoy them as much as we enjoyed the parachute ! My day began on a wonderful note . I received a call that I was being offered the job that I interviewed for last week ! What happy news . Of course this means a lot of changes for us , but I think they will all be worth it in the long run . Liam and I had a fun and busy day . We first went to the state history museum . Liam had a great time running around and going up and down all the stairs in the exhibit hall . His favorite exhibits were the cars and the reconstruction of a one - room school house . The recorded sounds of people talking and other background noise made him uneasy though . . . I have to admit it is unsettling to hear a bunch of kids talking when there are no other people in the room with you . Later in the afternoon , there was a great start program at the Impression 5 science museum . It was a small group today , but we all had a good time . After that , I took Liam to get a hair cut . We got home in time to meet daddy and then we headed out again for a celebratory dinner . What a fun - packed day ! I think that the time needed to get ready to go out increases exponentially with each passing month . Of course the temperatures have been excruciating single digits with below zero wind - chills , so there are a lot of layers to put on . Add to that the game Liam likes to play . . . making me chase him around the house to put on his shoes , coat , then hat , then mittens . By the time I have his hat on he 's already taken his shoes off and we 're back to square one ! Today we braved a nasty nor ' easter with high winds and snow just to pick up our milk from my friends farm . While driving through the frozen countryside , with snow blowing across the open fields and road , I imagined that Siberia looked similar this time of year . Thankfully , we are back in the warmth of home now . And there is a crockpot full of chili to eat with homemade corn muffins waiting for us . Yummy ! Liam and I have entered into a new stage of communication , which is mostly mis - communication . He babbles or " talks " nearly all day long . He wakes me in the morning talking to himself in his bed and often falls asleep with a last word or two after nursing . The only problem is that most of his " talk " is completely incomprehensible to me . Sometimes I can tell that he is asking me a question , or sharing something that he thinks is important or interesting . But beyond that , I can 't tell what he 's saying . He also " sings " too now . In fact , on Sunday he very clearly sang " E - i - e - i - o " to Old McDonald on one of his favorite videos . All of this is very cute , but I still need an English to Toddler dictionary ! I have to admit that I am too tired to write a lengthy post , so here are just a couple tidbits from today . First , I was astonished when Liam said " more snow " when it started to snow again this morning . He seems to be skipping a step in language acquisition and going straight to putting words together . What fun ! While at Great Start this morning , Liam accidentally walked into the corner of a table . He gave himself quite a shiner just above his temple . It swelled up so fast that I went to get some ice for it . Though he cried right after it happened , he didn 't act like he was too badly hurt and was right back into things in a jiff . This evening , Liam and daddy were playing with a blanket that I had just taken out of the drier . Liam 's hair got so full of static that it was standing on end ! We were all laughing so hard and Liam running around the room ! This second picture was taken just as Liam crashed into the camera . As I was pulling out of the driveway this morning , I was startled to see that our neighbors across the street erected a large snowman sporting a prominent phallus . This is troublesome , especially since the weather is supposed to be very cold and it won 't be melting for some time . But I just don 't have the heart to go chew out the college kids who live there . . . I 'll leave that job to the other neighbors . For the time being I 'll have to live with the snowman flashing pedestrians . At least Liam is too young to know what it is . I may have been a bit rash to bid the snow ado in my last post . It did melt quite a bit on Tuesday , but later that night I had to drive home from work in freezing rain . Wednesday it snowed and snowed and SNOWED all day long . Liam and I decided to spend a cozy day at home . By evening , poor Sean had to plow the snow just to get into the driveway . While he was out there , I happened to look out at him and he was covered in snow ( it was still falling heavily ) and he looked just like a Yeti ! By the end of the storm nearly a foot of snow buried everything , and under that was an inch of ice . It took two pots of hot water for me to de - ice the car this morning . Yuck ! Once I finally got into the car , I took Liam to a free lead testing and information program that the county health department was sponsoring . I was relieved to hear that Liam 's lead level was in the safe zone . I also got a bunch of information about how to deal with lead when remodeling in an older home . In other news , Liam said his name for the first time on Tuesday night . Daddy told me about it this evening . He also said " video " for both Sean and I yesterday . . . yes , he loves his Baby Einstein videos ! Liam babbles pretty much non - stop throughout the day . I feel like I need a translator half of the time ! On occasion I can glean actual words out of all his sounds . Liam loves the snow so much that I decided to take him out sledding one last time before the snow melted . There was just enough new snow on the driveway for me to pull him around and have some fun . Of course when it was time to go in and get ready for Tot Time , he was very upset . Thankfully , he calmed down once he realized that we were going to walk through the snow to go play at the community center . Liam was pretty tuckered out when we came home and he took a good nap . In the afternoon , Liam had his 18 month check up . While we were waiting , we looked through a magazine together . I was surprised when Liam pointed to a girl on the page and said " girl " . He continued to point out all the girls as we flipped through the pages . The nurses told me that Liam is an astonishing 34 inches tall and weighs 26 pounds ! That puts him in the 90th and 55th percentiles , respectively . He did great at the check up and didn 't cry at all . I was told that he was doing great and very intelligent . . . just what every mom wants to hear ! On our way home , I stopped at the pet store to get Liam his first pet fish . We picked out a very nice little guppy to go in Liam 's small fish tank in his room . ( I 'll add a picture later . ) Liam was very excited about his new pet , exclaiming " oooh , FISH ! " My the past 18 months have gone so fast ! A year ago today , we celebrated Liam 's 1 / 2 birthday with a small party at the pottery painting studio , where we made a plate with his hand print . To continue the tradition , we took Liam there this afternoon to make something for Valentines Day . This time Liam got to finger - paint it himself , before putting his handprint on it . Liam also got a happy surprise . . . a visit from grandma Bev and Grandpa John ! They came to stay the weekend with us and Liam was on cloud nine . He loves to play with his grandparents ! They brought him a set of mega blocks , which were a bit hit . Here he is playing with grandpa . We spent some time on Saturday at the local animal control office and at Petco looking at cats for adoption . There was a couple that we liked , but in the end we decided to wait .
|
A place for little feet . . . Paper trail of love People still marvel when my husband tells them he 's been married 17 years this month . To the same woman . They laugh and figure he must have married when he was about 12 . It 's true . That 's how young he looks . No one really questions when I say the same thing . Perhaps that has a little to do with the half dozen babies I 've carried and delivered , possibly . They laugh again when he takes responsibility for those 6 children . Yes . " All with the same woman " he answers with a smile . Deliriously stricken with what we thought love was when we were 15 years old in our junior year of high school , we talked on telephones with cords late into the night and spent our weekends going line dancing with friends . There were school dances and trips to the mountains for day skiing . There was girl drama and a hundred other things that felt like the biggest deal ever . My grandma smiled when I told her we 'd stay together after we graduated high school . Politely not saying what everyone was thinking , " Sure , easy to say , highly unlikely " . Our choosing two different universities gave way to writing the letters . Not emails or texts . No electronic anything . Bonafide love letters . Our very own paper trail of love those letters are . The anticipation and patience involved when word from the one your heart longs for is hours away and requires getting through border patrol to put eyes on . Not for the faint of heart . They sit by my bed in a stack wrapped in a ribbon . Their very presence dates me . Ages me . Puts me in the " pushing 40 years old " crowd . Months turned into years and our long distance perseverance continued . We became adept at waiting . Waiting for the border open . Waiting for the letter to come through the university post . Waiting at the dorm phone for a scheduled phone call . Waiting for direction for post - college plans . Waiting for summer when we would be home with parents and only 20 minutes drive from each other . Waiting for an engagement ring . Which turned into waiting for a wedding . Which meant more waiting . Waiting to go to bed together and wake up in the same place . I won 't ever forget waking up the day after our wedding and holding my ring - clad hand up in disbelief that yes , I was finally paired for life with this one I loved . It was surreal . Our paper trail turned into post - its at this point . Notes written and stuck on the bathroom mirror . I still have the sticky stack . Short notes of love that cemented our gratitude that we were done waiting for each other . We settled into married housing our last year of college and walked graduation together the following year . Youth pastor and social worker finding our ( very young ) way . This morning I wrote a bridal shower gift card to a young thing preparing for her own summer wedding . I simply said " sending love and blessings your way as you prepare for your marriage ( the wedding is the easy part , don 't stress about that ! ) " . At barely 21 , I certainly thought otherwise ! I was sure the wedding was the hard part . Our big wedding with two receptions , which I planned without a wedding coordinator while keeping a $ 5 , 000 wedding budget , was attended by 428 people . It felt huge . Larger than life . I hadn 't given a great deal of thought about the life that would come after . Sure we did premarital counseling and personality tests and all . Good stuff . But nothing prepares any love struck sweetheart for the reality of marriage . But love letters wane . Post it notes get unsticky . He doesn 't bake caramel brownies from scratch filled with love notes on foil anymore . She doesn 't spend an hour on hair and makeup every single day . He doesn 't know how to respond to her insecure 21 year old self . And she doesn 't know how to cook after all . Real life happens . And real life is darn hard sometimes … . most of the time . Wedded bliss becomes a ruse and the sparkly ring gets dirty and scratched up . So do the wedded ones . No matter how good in heart or how sweet their intentions . This is where the fire burns hot and hard choices are made . This is where listening to the prevailing wisdom of the culture we live in ( even church culture ) says loudly " Marriage is meant to make you happy - if you aren 't happy , you can walk away ! " . Choosing to keep love in the midst of real , broken life comes hard fought , comes at a price . Two sweet lovebirds change and grow up . Inevitably , they don 't grow on the same timeline . This proves incredibly hard to navigate . Choosing love in the midst of the mess , in the midst of the growing , in the midst of imperfection and failure … . this is how we are forging our way forward . By saying yes to each other . Yes to love . Yes to the gut - wrenching conversations . Yes to humility . Yes to apologizing and subsequent forgiveness . Yes to awkward , soul - exposed moments . Yes to being a witness to the whole of life by someone 's side . Yes to the covenant promise of marriage . Not just when it makes sense or comes easy or " feels right " . Even , especially , when it doesn 't . 17 years and counting . Thankful every day ( even the ones that lay me flat ) for my yes all those years ago and every day since . Perhaps even , the best is yet to come … I just went outside and you were delightedly hanging 10 feet off the ground from a tree branch . You are fearless and big boy brave every day of your life . You 've climbed trees with ease since you were three . Now you have a little sister whom you show the ropes to all day long and you 've taught her boisterous self just how to climb too . And you are proud . You have your own garden plot this year and you tell me you want to grow me peas . You 've weeded your garden twice despite me explaining that you will have to wait to put the pea seeds in the ground until April . I often find you at the first aid box opening the green salve and wiping it onto some part of your adventurous self . In fact you are so skilled at caring for your wounds that two weeks ago when we got to church I noticed you had blood on your shirt and Star Wars bandaids and sticky blood all over your hand . While we were all getting ready to leave , you had tried to cut open a bagel . You cut your hand and simply went upstairs to your personal bandaid supply and covered your wound . You tell the most amazing dragon stories . And they always have a brave hero . And his name is always Finn . You still tell me the story of Caleb saving your life summer before last . You know which direction the train was coming and you know that you were frozen there , on the tracks . And you still show great emotion in the retelling . Near daily you like to ask me " Mom , do you wanna be a mouse lemur or a cockroach ? " or " Which animal do you like better mom , a caracal or a sea otter ? " . You tell me that you want to be a race car driver when you grow up . Your love for all things John Deere is waning which makes me sad . You are growing into Lego and out of tractor and I wouldn 't mind if you stayed tractor - crazy forever . You holler fairly often at present . But it 's beginning to diminish You have lots to express and don 't always have the patience to wait for words . You don 't care that shoes were meant to be worn in pairs or that typically people wear shirts in the winter . I love these things about you . I love all the boy that you are and could not fathom our life or this world without you . You are one of a kind awesome and it 's my absolute gift to be your mama . How did this day sneak right up on me the way it did ? I still remember all those weeks sitting next to your incubator in the hospital after you were born and staring at your sweet tiny face for hours . I remember waiting days to even hold you in my arms and I thought if I didn 't get to do it soon I might just not live another day . So great was my longing to wrap you up in my arms . Your presence and personality and poise have literally shaped this family . You are the most tremendous oldest sister this not - so - small family could ever have asked for . Every one of your siblings is blessed that you came first . Your creative and energetic ways make you such an enjoyable playmate . Your ability to direct people and quietly bring order out of chaos , it 's such a unique and wonderful gift . You are 13 going on wonderful . I recently crossed path with a former youth pastor of mine . As I expressed emotion over entering this new era , of parenting teenagers , he had a good bit of sage advice for me . But first he inquired " I need to know … is she the hellion you were at 13 ? " . To which I easily replied , " Um , no … not even close ! " . Your life and love and character don 't hold a candle to how I behaved myself at 13 . While I do feel the changes on the horizon , I am keenly aware that you are amazing . I have the same longing in my heart for you as I did the week you were born . I know well enough to know you still need to be wrapped up , held up by the love that only a mama can give . Even if there is some adolescent attitude that comes my way . You quietly absorb and asses the happenings around you . You are intuitive and aware of more than I 'd even imagine . This is a beautiful quality and as you get older you will continue to learn to do this in ways that allow your heart to still function and stay whole despite being highly tuned in to all that is going on . Your mama is still learning . Learning to love wildly and freely without expectation . Learning to be brave . In many ways I feel like we are learning together and I see something new forming and though I don 't know yet quite how to proceed or just what it looks like … it is a wonderful mystery we are headed into . I told you this week I 'd read this incredible verse in Collosians , that the mystery of the ages had now been revealed and that guess what the mystery was ? This mystery , which is Christ in you , the hope of glory ( Col 1 : 27 ) . You are an image bearer of Christ . You have something of Him to reflect to the world you live in . And that right there is a most beautiful hope . I do see one thing clear . You need your dad . Front and center . He has a new role to fill in your life in this season . You adore him . Not that that is new , since it isn 't . But something is different . As I watched him hold your hand and ice skate with you this afternoon , a wave of feelings poured over me . Gratitude that he is who he is . That he is present and available for you . That he loves Jesus above all else and aims to lead and love our family the best he can . That I get to share him with you . Grateful that you have the same gift I did as a young girl ( and still enjoy today ) … a dad who loves God , loves my mom and loves me well . Let me let you in on a secret . Your dad and I don 't know what we 're doing all the time . We haven 't done this before , you are our first teenager and all we know is what we know . And there 's a lot we don 't know . A wise and respected older friend in our life told us once … during a period of very tumultuous marital struggle for us : " Aside from a heritage of genuine faith , the best gift you can ever give your kids is parents who love each other well . " She went on to explain the impact that has on the life of a child . You 've heard us yelling in the yard over the pigs and the mud and " why did we ever say yes to this … " . You 've seen me cry in the laundry room because I hadn 't been a receiver of grace when I was desperate for it . You 've seen me cut your dad down with disrespectful words and a too - quick - mouth . You see us kissing in the kitchen or in the pantry and you watch the continual ebb and flow that marriage is . You miss almost zero of what takes place here . We aren 't modeling perfection for you . We are however modeling real life and mess and grace . And you won 't grow up and leave our home thinking life is always peachy and smells like roses . You 'll know it stings and hurts and smells like manure sometimes ( literally AND figuratively ) . But God is present in our pain and in our mess and imperfection and He gives glimpses of glory all along the journey . Your dad and I are committed to Jesus , to one another , to this family , to you and your siblings and to being Love - bearers to the people on our path in any way we are able . Whatever these years ahead hold , we will be right here . Living out our love one day at a time . We are so proud of who you are and the way you live , think , speak and love . These are great years ahead … don 't let anyone tell you otherwise . They may be a bit of a mystery to us yet , but we are in this together ! Blurry - yes . But had to be included . 21 years ago this year your dad took me ice skating on our first date . It was super precious to buzz around the skate rink with our six kids in tow . ( and yes , we still like holding hands - even if it makes you giggle ! ) One year beautiful It makes me choke just a bit when I answer people 's frequent question , how old is she ? Because I want to say she was just born , fresh and new and perfect but the truth is her birthday was two weeks ago and I can hardly wrap my mind around it . Wasn 't it just yesterday we were walking in the warm sun with popsicles and flip flops awaiting her soon and imminent arrival , not sure if she was a he or a she … if she would tip the tide to four sons or even it up with three sons and three daughters ? Could I have known it would be the year it was ? That everything would feel hard and that we would never really fall into a groove that felt workable and that we would do so many " great " things that we were plum worn out and worn down ? How a little pink bundle would be this beacon of all that is lovely and wonderful to this tired mama on so many dark nights ? Freedom and grace . Two of the most critical , valued pieces of our faith , our family , our life . Your name holds such weight for me . It is a never ending reminder of truth that I need constant reminding of . One year . You are walking and waving everywhere . You have perfected the princess , parade wave and you grin a mile wide for everyone you meet . I never have the heart to tell them , be they a friend or a waiter at a resaturant , that you do this for everyone . They think they are exceptionally special based on your warm waves and smile . You have to be the happiest baby ever . At least certainly the happiest one I 've known . Sometimes I hold your siblings back a bit , telling them it 's too much or give her space . But the reality , your reality , is you are covered , sewn in from every side , with love . So much love . They each adore you in their own sort of way . You draw something unique , something special out of each one of them . The softness that I don 't often see in the big boys , a gentleness from Finn that is wildly uncharacteristic . And a comradery , a sisterhood with the girls , that I know will only grow with age . It 's been a long year for me . Your brother Finn has required a sort of mental energy that no other child has . The way he thinks and experiences life is momentous , fantastic really . And I 've no doubt he will change the world , his world , someday . Another brother started the year with a major physical injury that made the school year extra hard and frustrating . It took six months before he was fully restored . It hurt my mama heart more than I can exxpress to not be able to help him , not be able to fix it and make life feel okay for him . There were so many hard days , not days that I would trade or give up for anything , but hard nonetheless . Beaming bright beautiful you . You have to know there were many nights , I would be awake nursing you that I wept over your precious little face . Hopelessly in love with your little self . Over the top thankful that you were there for me to hold . You gave hope to me time and time again . You are a simple , in - the - flesh continual gift that I feel like I receive day after day after day . A gift I don 't take lightly and one I am keenly aware I could have missed had the baby I carried the months prior to your conception been carried to term . There would not have been you , one of a kind wonderful you . I held your hand tonight in the van , for miles down the dark , rainy highway on our way home from your little brothers ' birthday dinner . I squeezed you tight and thought you 'd let go but you just held tighter . We 'd been talking birthdays and gifts and Kenya . You talk often of your friend there , your sponsored child who lives across the world from us . She is never far from your thoughts , your heart . But especially today . She 's just about to have a birthday too , the exact same age as you . I doubt she 's ever heard the term " tween " even if that 's the category her age falls into . I also doubt she 's ever heard of Playmobil toys . You have been saving for a long time for a very specific , sizable Playmobil set . One with cows and a milking room and all sorts of cool farm stuff . Tonight on our rainy day home you told me you 'd been thinking . That instead of wanting that set that you wanted to put that money toward the trip you plan to take to meet your African sister - friend in about two years . You also asked if you could request that for your birthday and Christmas you simply get money toward that same goal instead of presents . You explained why , having thought it all through quite obviously and knowing the cost would be great and it would take some planning , some setting aside of certain things in order to be able to go . You told me you really didn 't need more presents but that you just wanted so much to be able to go to Kenya . That 's when I took your hand in the van . With tears and a heart plum full of love for you , my oldest daughter , I told you you were beautiful … that your heart was beautiful … that I loved who you were and how you cared about the things that matter most . It was one of those moments where everything is crystal clear and you don 't want to forget a single detail . You aren 't one to say what you don 't mean and I knew as you spoke that you meant every word . You are indeed a beauty . Inside and out . We are insanely blessed to have you as our first born . The gift you are to my life , to our family is beyond any measure . You spent your first weekend as an eleven year old sewing . First pillowcase dresses for girls in poverty in Africa … then sewing matching dresses with your dear friend , dresses that you wore together to church on Sunday . 90 years His life has been so rich . His contributions so many . And in these last years of his long and amazing life his world is growing increasingly small . I don 't think too often about what the rest of my life will look like . My today is full and requires everything I have ( and usually a little bit more ) . But when I 'm 90 I surely hope I love Jesus and love family the way my Grandpa does . Getting to share a week with him this July was such a treasure . Since we won 't all be able to travel back east for his 90th birthday bash , we celebrated out here . As we took turns going around the room and reading him our birthday letters , we shared with him the impact his life had had , on us and on many . After each of us spoke , he would say that he hoped that what we 'd said was even partly true . And we would choke up and tell him that indeed , what we had spoken was what we meant . His humble and tender heart , the way he tells me " You 're doing such a great job , keep up the good work with those kids ! " speaks so deeply to my being , every single time he says it . He is a great and brilliant man who has worked very hard and lived a full and rich life . It was a delight to celebrate with him while he is still with us . One year ago today … … I was getting pulled over on 405 by a police officer with all 4 kids in the car . Seconds before I saw his lights I 'd hung up the phone with my midwife . I had barely gotten on the freeway and could not figure out why he was pulling me over . He walked up to my window and I was unmistakably , enormously pregnant . He asked me if I knew my tabs were expired . Five months expired . As soon as I opened my mouth I 'm sure he regretted it - it went something like this , with no breaths for air : Oh my goodness no ! In October , what ? I thought they mailed you that little postcard that told you to get new tabs . That 's right , I remember someone telling me that they don 't mail it anymore , have to save money somewhere . But I never looked at my plates so I didn 't notice . Oh my . The midwife just called me and I just hung up with her when you were pulling me over . She 's going to come to my house in two hours , TWO HOURS , and I 'm going to have a baby . TODAY ! So I 'm , you know , a little frazzled and excited and I wasn 't expecting it to be today and I 've got to get home and is there any way I can renew my tabs after the baby comes ? I 'm pretty sure that wasn 't all but you get the idea . I was a mile - a - minute to the moon bursting with excitement and nervousness and could not care less about my tabs just had to go home to get my home birth box all set up and my kitchen clean and have a baby and all . As soon as I let him talk he said , " Oh wow , yeah you have a lot going on . You get yourself home safely and have yourself a baby . Just renew those tabs as soon as you can . " I smiled and said I would and headed home . I made the calls and picked up the house . My sister started a dinner that would feed the midwife and whoever else was at our house . The whole story was that the weather was cold and it was supposed to snow . I have a history of fast labors , barely made it to the birth center last time . And I was very progressed and ready but not in active labor . So she gave me the option of them breaking my water so that we would know for sure that the midwife would be present for the delivery . My husband had read the pamphlet entitled " What to do if baby arrives before midwife " and he said he really didn 't want to utilize the info . Who could blame him . The midwife and her student went to get coffee after my water broke and pretty soon I called them back to say that things were moving right along . About three hours later a plump and purple - ish baby boy was born in our bedroom - with Rylee behind me rubbing my back and my mom and sister standing next to me with Kyler and Audrey . His daddy helped catch him and told us all " It 's a boy ! " . He got some oxygen and perked up and all I could think was " there are rolls EVERYWHERE " . He was so plump and round . After snuggling and getting rubbed off , he weighed in and everyone gasped . 10 pounds 11 ounces . I was instantly thankful that he 'd been born that day and not one day later ! We all sat on my bed together and soaked it all in . It was the experience I had dreamed of but it still seemed very surreal . It was bedtime so my mom and dad helped get kids in bed and we settled in for the night . We marveled together as we watched him sleep and counted ourselves tremendously blessed . One year later and we 're not sleeping much but we wouldn 't trade the sleep for anything . Phineas is a perfectly wonderful addition to our family . We joke that he 's like a movie star in his own home . Every time he wakes up from a nap there is fanfare and greetings galore for his sleepy , smiley face . His brothers love to crash trucks to make him laugh . His sisters love to snuggle and play baby with him . His daddy loves to hold him in just the right spot on his shoulder . His mama kisses his face and head all over . Every single day . A nine year old ! Nine years ago last week we welcomed a tiny , sick , premature baby into our family and became parents for the first time . She has grown into an amazing , beautiful girl who will be a young woman before we know it . This is her birthday letter ( part of it at least … ) from this year : You are nine years old . My heart bursts with gratitude for the girl you are becoming . As I watched you open gifts last night for your birthday you were so grown up and polite and genuine as you found delight in each present you had been given . I did not have to remind you to say thank you and you were so grateful and so quick to appreciate what you received . It reflected a growing up , maturing heart that is often a beautiful reflection of Jesus to those around you . Your heart for others Rylee , its amazing . And for years now I 've agonized over the lack of friends for you in our life and how hard daily life with your brother can be day in and day out . You endure a lot with him and sometimes you have such a great time . But there are days that he hurts you with words , hands and attitude . We 've tried our best to provide friendship - making - opportunities for you but nothing great has panned out . Until now . God has heard our many prayers and He has opened up new doors with a sweet group of girls that I can see becoming long time , precious friends for you . He cares so much about you . He knew just who you would be and just what you would need . As you head into the pre - teen years , you will crave companions and these new girls are perfectly suited to share life with you . They love animals , they are in 4 - H , they go to our co - op , they have parents who love Jesus … . the list goes on . I just want to make sure I wrote you about how faithful God has continued to be to you and how much we see Him in and around you . You love to put your baby brother down for naps and are so proud when you get him to sleep . You often ask me if I got much sleep when you see me in the morning . You are quick to help with meal preparation and love , love to organize things . You share . A lot . You are the apple of your little cousin Ruby 's eye . I 'm pretty sure you 'll need chiropractic help for your back after all the time you LOVE spending holding little ones . You 've identified our baby pattern and have resolved that the " next baby God gives us will be a boy " . It 's that simple to you . Our value of life , all life , is so internalized in you - it often truly blows me away . How you will live out your life and your purpose with driving truths as counter culture as these I do not know . I do know that your dad and I cannot wait to see your life continue to unfold . Your sensitivity to what is going on around you in the lives , faces and hearts of others is far , far beyond your years . The oldest four knocked on the door . They waited and knocked again . They were all dressed up as four Star Wars characters . Then there was music . Even through the front door we heard the blaring soundtrack as the exuberant " grandmother of Princess Leia " answered the door . The kids grinned and went in . " Welcome to the Crazy Canteena " she told them . They walked upstairs to the kitchen and were greeted by tons of fog / smoke ( from dry ice ) pouring off the counters and a " fierce " looking bad The tale of a little sister Once upon a time there were three little girls . The older two were more shy and would make the youngest one redeem their tokens for ice cream at the local Dairy Queen . She wore a constant smile that young one and was a most darling little thing . These three grew older and fought over clothes and other silly things . They forged their own paths and discovered who they were . The oldest sister and her boyfriend used to hang out often with the four years younger sister , great times were had and a friendship was forged that would last forever . Youngest sister meandered into some circles of friends that were older and shared very different values . Their pull was strong . The temptation of a different life drew her far and fast away . Hearts broke and the prodigal one wandered far . Oldest sister started to journal and pray ( parents did too , for certain ) about the little sister . Pages were covered with tears and words poured out . Years passed . Agonizing choices were made , truly things you might not be able to imagine . Life 's consequences followed . Love was given in the ways everyone knew how to give it . Hope ebbed and waned . The way the heart hurts watching one you love so much walk away burns a deep pain . A slow , lengthy journey home began . It has taken years for Redemption to weave His way back into her life . The ones closest to her watched and loved and waited under what sometimes felt like unbearable weariness . The oldest one often wrote letters to that youngest one . The journey was a foreign one to her but she had , literally , seen the scars and sometimes didn 't know how to choke out the right words . So she just wrote . The young one let sleeping dreams awaken and pursued her hopes of becoming a nurse . She pressed on , though academics were not her strongest suit and all the family ( minus two brother in laws ) was there across the country when she walked across that stage and received her diploma . The oldest gave her an engraved butterfly necklace that day . It said simply , dream . Because she had . And we got to watch . Her story isn 't finished . There were times those close ones thought it might be . The ways her Father has sheltered her and saved her might be a forever mystery . And now ? She 's finding Love and she fell in love . Last week , that baby sister ( though she 's almost 30 , still a baby sis ) married a sweet , strong , genuine man . There were a few moments when middle sister and oldest sister shared a glance and tears brimmed . Hard to believe it was really happening and in such a beautiful way .
|
It 's been a while since I 've given you guys an update . Sorry about that ! But the good news is , I 'm writing to you , right now on Monday morning around 9 : 30 am or so , from my HOME office . Why ? Because I 've quit my day job . Also , I 've quit my editing job ( yes , I had three jobs , counting the writing ) . I 've cleared everything I possibly could from my schedule so I can devote my full attention to writing . Of course , I couldn 't sell my kids off or anything like that , so they 're still around . : D But with the youngest still in day care and starting pre - K this fall , and the oldest in high school , they aren 't around to distract me for most of the day , at least for now . Whew . So it 's time to tell you what 's on the horizon , now that I have no excuses . : ) My MOST often asked question is will there be any follow - up books to Rock Me or Leave Me Breathless . Well … hopefully you know about " Light Me Up , " that naughty little number in the A Very Naughty Christmas anthology . It 's a short follow - up to Brian and Candace . Check it out ! The thing I 'm working on now is a novella for Ghost and Macy - it isn 't a follow - up , but a prequel . Ever wondered exactly what happened in the car before the events of Leave Me Breathless ? You 'll find out . After that , it 's full steam ahead on Gabriella Ross 's book , wherein you will see them all again . So . As far as any novel - length follow - ups where these guys are the main characters … no , probably not . Other writers do that , and kudos to them . Me ? I kinda want to move on to other things once my characters get their happy - ever - after ( I 'm usually SICK of them by then , lol ) . But it 's always fun to revisit . I hope that answers your questions , but if not then feel free to fire away at me here . : ) I 'd REALLY love to meet a lot of you on June 29 in Orlando , Florida at Maryse 's Book Bash . I 'll be there signing Rock Me and Unleashed - unfortunately LMB won 't be in print by then ( October 1 , in case you were wondering ) . I hope you can make it out . Whether you 've been naughty or nice this Christmas , you 're getting a present from me and some of my awesome author friends . Olivia Cunning , Cari Quinn , Stephanie Julian , Raven Morris and myself have all joined forces to bring you A VERY NAUGHTY XMAS . As you might have heard , my contribution to this anthology is a sexy little number called " Light Me Up , " wherein I give you a glimpse into a very special Christmas for Brian and Candace of Rock Me . The back blurb reads : " She 's hoping for a little sparkle in her stocking this year . He 's planning a night that 's anything but silent . " You should be able to buy this in ebook format from all the retailers on Monday . Also , there 's a print edition coming , but I don 't have an ETA on that yet . I 'll keep you updated . Their apartment - his apartment that she 'd moved into not long after they got together - was a sight for sore eyes . Decorated mostly with his art and a few of her girly touches , it was small but she considered it the first real home she 'd ever had . Her parents ' house was like a museum : gigantic , cold , and while you could look , you could never , ever touch . Her first apartment had been paid for with their money and while she 'd decorated it herself , it had been under her mother 's critical eye . But Sylvia had never stepped foot here , and probably never would . That was fine with Candace . " I do , but not this time . " A tug at the back of her dress , then a loosening as he pulled down the zipper . She stood still as he let the fabric slip down her body and pool at her feet , glad to be rid of it . In short order , her strapless bra followed , leaving her naked since he 'd demolished her panties in her old bathroom . She watched in the mirror as his gaze slowly slid down and up again , seeming to caress her every curve and lingering on his favorite ones : her breasts and nipples with their silver rings . His fingers lightly traced around her waist to her belly , hands forming a V as he moved them down to the bare juncture of her thighs . He watched the slow progression intently , and she loved watching him . Before she knew it , her breath was coming in shallow pants as arousal tightened her muscles under his seeking fingers . What a wild ride the last week has been ! Leave Me Breathless has performed so far beyond my expectations that I 'm … well , left breathless ! Right now , it 's at # 7 in the Kindle store . Not in Contemporary , not in Romance , but over - freaking - all . How unbelievable is that ! I 'm overjoyed that it 's doing so well . The only problem with this success is that I don 't think I can single - handedly answer all of the various correspondence I 've received , as I 'm also working WILDLY on a project . More on that later . I hope you can understand . What I decided to do is address the most frequently asked questions I 've received here in one place , and maybe if you see these questions brought up elsewhere , at Goodreads or Facebook and such , you can get the word out for me . Or just keep it to yourself and be in the know . ; ) The reason there isn 't a prologue in LMB is the same reason there isn 't one in Rock Me . I 'm not through with these guys ! Gabriella 's book is next - you 'll see a lot of Brian and Candace in that one . A lot of Evan and Kelsey , too . It 'll kind of wrap up all their stories . Ghost and Macy … well , they were a monkey wrench tossed into the Ross siblings , but I 'll probably cook up something for them too - though I doubt it will be a full novel . Another reason is that I 'm just not ready to send these guys down the aisle yet . I 'm * certainly * not ready to give them babies . I love them carefree , spontaneous and without responsibility … and babies kinda take that away . Sorry , but they do ! : ) So I wouldn 't look for that . Evan and Kelsey were more than ready for a kid . These guys … I can 't even wrap my head around the thought at the moment . Now , about that mystery project I mentioned . It 's a Christmas novella starring Brian and Candace . It will appear in an anthology with several other FABULOUS authors . The best part ? We 're desperately trying to move this thing out to you guys NEXT WEEK for the Thanksgiving holiday . Awesome , right ? The title I 'm kicking around is " Light Me Up . " It just jumped out at me from a bit of cute dialogue they share . Oh , how I love these guys . I 'm really excited about this ; I hope you are , too . Any other Q 's , just leave them in comments and I 'll * try * to get to them . Once this novella is finished , I 'll have some breathing room . I 'll be forever grateful to you guys for all your support . I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season ! Here are Ghost and Macy in that awkward " We had blisteringly hot sex , now what ? " phase . I so love them ( though I might not have said that while I was writing them , lol ) . : ) Enjoy ! And thanks a million for hanging in there with me ! " Well … what ? I mean really . I don 't know what to say , I don 't know … I don 't know what the hell I 'm doing . " She blew out a breath , her gaze on the floor in the vicinity of his boots . She pulled that luscious bottom lip between her little white teeth . Jesus help him , he wanted to do the same thing with it . He waited until her eyes flickered back up to him . " You seemed to know what the hell you were doing the other night . And I liked that . " " That part 's easy . It 's this part I don 't like . You know we 're going to have to be around each other sometimes - our best friends live together . I don 't want it to be awkward for everyone . Including us . " " Okay , so let 's deal with it . Here and now . Do you want to keep seeing me ? Don 't worry about hurting my feelings or any shit like that . I 'm a big boy ; I can take it . But I 'm not down for games at all . I let you have a few days ' cooling off time , and I 've been thinking too . " She crossed her arms , her gaze startlingly direct under her cap . " Backwards for me . Typically , I get to know a guy before I land in the sack with him . That didn 't happen here . In the beginning , that was okay . I didn 't count on wanting anything more with you . I thought it would just be fun , like we said . " Hell , if she got to know him , really know him , she might run screaming . This was a good thing , though . She hadn 't run yet . He thought about all the nights he could spend slowly exploring her beautiful body without rushing to memorize it all before she booted his ass out of her bed and her life . All the hours he could spend inhaling the vanilla sweetness of her skin , her hair . Oh yeah , he wanted to get to know her better . Macy cleared her throat , for the first time glancing away and absently studying the drawings on the board . " You could , I don 't know , ask me on a date ? A regular date ? " Do things the way she was used to having them done . Give her her comfort zone . He could handle that . But not without a little teasing . She might as well know that about him right away , if she didn 't already . " Fine . I didn 't want to have sex with you again anyway . " God , he loved her smile . Even more when it was accompanied by her laugh . She graced him with both at that moment . " Gee , thank you . I feel much better about this whole thing . " " It 's not that I don 't want to sleep with you again . Honestly ? I want to drag you home right now . It 's all I 've thought about . But … " She sighed and shook her head . " I have thought about it , and I don 't want to get caught up in something like that . It 's not for me . I don 't want a revolving - door relationship . I don 't need someone blowing in and out of my life . Either you 're going to be around or you 're not . There 's no in - between with me . If you can 't deal with that … " She blinked up at him . In the bright overhead lights , her freckles were more prominent . And her lips too , pink and glistening with the gloss she wore . He wanted to taste it , touch her face , hell , plant her back against the wall right here , but he held off . Yeah , maybe his self - imposed restriction on getting involved had just been blown to hell and gone , but he didn 't care . Not when she looked at him like that . What could it hurt to see where things went ? " All right , but I think I should give you fair warning . " He leaned down and put his forehead to hers , their noses nestling next to each other as she tilted her head up to meet him . " I 'll give you all the dates you want . But that cooling - off thing ? I can 't promise you that . " We 're only a little over two months away from the release of Leave Me Breathless ! In celebration , I thought I 'd unveil another excerpt for you . By popular demand , this one includes Brian . ; ) But be warned it also includes the one scene in which Evan and Kelsey from Unleashed appear , so if you 'd like to save that and savor it when the book releases , you might stay away from this one . ( But don 't worry , there 's plenty more Brian ! ) It had been three days , and he hadn 't heard a word out of her . Ghost might as well face it ; she was a girl who stuck to her guns . He admired that . He mostly stuck to his too , except when it came to her , the gun he stuck to was perpetually cocked and ready to fire . One excellent thing about his Saturday night was that Gus actually dragged in to practice , cohesively , no less , and they 'd just about blown the roof off the house . They 'd even started a bunch of new material . Seemed both the axmen had a lot of aggression to work out , and the rest of the guys had stepped up and added their respective flavors too . Even Mark had been happy . Neighbors had complained . It was an incredible feeling , what he lived for . By the time he left , he was still juiced up . Laughter erupted from artists and clients alike . " You know I can 't go a single night without you , Bri - baby . Is Candace not here ? You and I can slip in your office and - " " You know you love it , my little voyeur . " Starla grinned as if to say there was no use denying it . Ghost hoisted himself up on the counter at his station . " What 's going on tonight , kids ? " Shit . The pause had been so unnecessary , as were the little grins that passed among the others . Ghost could only hope he kept his expression bland and uninterested . " Oh yeah ? And here I was hoping you were gonna tell me they were in your office in the sixty - nine . " Good . That sounded like something he would say . Ghost followed his gaze out to see Evan Ross and his wife Kelsey striding quickly through the light rain . Brian waited until Evan had pulled open the door before cupping a hand to his mouth and shouting toward the back , " Hey ! Hide all the crack ! " Ghost laughed while he considered bolting . He didn 't have one reason to be concerned that a state prosecutor was walking into his place of business , but Evan had a way of making them all feel like they had something to hide . Even when he was in jeans instead of a suit , the dude wore authority . He couldn 't help it . They laughed good - naturedly at Brian 's joke , Kelsey walking over to give her brother - in - law a hug . Evan glanced around the shop with his all - too - assessing gaze , nodding at Ghost when he caught his eye . Always good to have friends in high places . Even if you never actually cared to see those friends . " At Mom 's , " Evan said . " We 're having the rare date night … though they might get more plentiful the closer we get to moving . She 's trying to soak up all the baby - time she can . " Kelsey was turning redder than her cherry - red sweater , covering her mouth in her laughter . Evan shook his head . " You are all kinds of wrong . " " Hey , " Starla piped up , " I just had an idea . You should name your next baby boy Kevin . It would be like a combination of both your names . " " Ha . You talk smack , but we 've all learned how sappy you can be too . It 's only a matter of time before you have Candace 's name on your ass , " Evan said . " Can I say for the record that I always throw out very strong hints to my clients that they should not tattoo a significant other 's name onto their bodies ? It 's their skin ; they can do what they want . But I don 't care how long they 've been together or how solid it looks . It never fails they 'll be back here a few weeks later , sobbing to me that they want it covered up . Sometimes I swear you need to be a licensed counselor to go into this business . " " Aw , come on , Bri , " Kelsey said . " You wouldn 't get a tattoo of Candace 's name ? Even a little one ? I know you would . " " Are you slackin ' off or what , dude ? " Brian asked Evan . " Here I am , having to give your wife her romantic thrills and all . " " I always knew Brian was a closet romantic , " she said . " I called it a long time ago , didn 't I ? It just took the right woman to bring him out . " " All right , get a room . And no more talk of me being romantic in here . " Brian plucked at the front of his T - shirt . " I have an image to uphold . " Ghost had sat watching the rampant mushiness in speechless dismay . Macy 's words in the car the other night came back to haunt him , when she 'd said that sometimes things work out . He wished he could believe that for himself . Looking at the two relationships represented here , Brian 's and Evan 's , he could almost have hope . Of course , both of them were still in their infancy stages in the grand scheme of things . But he was beginning to realize he would be more surprised if Brian and Candace didn 't work out than if they did . In all the years he 'd known him , Ghost had never seen his friend this way . And if Evan and Kelsey ever busted up … well , it would shake up the entire town . He 'd never felt deserving of it himself . He considered himself a confident - enough guy , but what in the ever - loving fuck could possibly be so appealing about him that another person would want to spend the rest of her life with him ? He didn 't get it . Like Gus , he was fucked up , only in different ways . And look what Gus 's girl kept putting him through . Candace and Macy took that moment to sweep in the front door , both laughing about something , but Macy 's vibrant smile faltered a bit when she saw him . Not in disappointment , though . Her eyes brightened . He didn 't know why or how , but he got the impression her heart had leaped into her throat . His had . Or maybe he was just fucking delusional where she was concerned . Nonetheless , he returned what smile she managed for him . Kelsey and Candace rushed into a hug , both trilling with delight at seeing each other . Macy greeted Kelsey and Evan warmly , but Ghost didn 't miss her gaze sliding over to him every few seconds . Because he couldn 't stop looking at her . Her cheeks , all flushed with the bite of cold . He remembered them flushed from arousal . Her bright hazel eyes - maybe he 'd put the light there ; it hadn 't been there the first night he 'd seen her before their interlude in his car . She was one of those girls who remarkably had a different hairstyle every time he saw her . Sometimes curly , sometimes long and sleek , sometimes in a variety of stylishly sloppy updos . Tonight it was simple - one dark sweep tucked behind both ears under her off - white knit cap . Her ears were slightly pink too , and what he wouldn 't give to take her home and warm her up … A few of you have written me to ask why Unleashed can 't be found at the Apple store . I 'd wondered that myself , so I shot an email to my publisher , and because they 're awesome , they got to the bottom of it in a hurry and I 'm happy to report it should be available now . At least , it just turned up when I ran a search for it . : ) I know it 's still a little while until the release , but I thought I 'd go ahead and let you in on the tunes that wired me and inspired me while weaving Ghost and Macy 's tale . This time , a few are mentioned in the book , but most were just behind - the - scenes motivators , and I always love adding to playlists later when I find something that really fits . So it could change . But I 'm sure the first song really needs no mention , as I 've only talked about it a dozen times . If you 've somehow missed all that , do yourself a favor and seek out the video . It 's just … augh . The greatest .
|
Each of the authors below worked out the details with their swap partner directly . In some cases this was easy and painless , while in other cases people now hate me . For everyone in the non - hating category , I hope you had fun ! I asked the authors to post the following template text with their stories , to help people navigate through all of this . April Fools ! The story you just read appears here on my blog as a part of the Great April Fool 's Day FridayFlash Blog Swap , organized by Tony Noland . You can find my story for today at SWAP PARTNER 's website , http : / / www . AppropriateURL . com To read all the dozens of stories swapping around as a part of the GAFDFFBS , check out the GAFDFFBS index over at Tony 's blog Landless . For hundreds of thousands of words of fantastic flash fiction stories , check out the FridayFlash hashtag on Twitter . It happens every Friday ! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ " I suppose they could 've been hanging it wrong , " Tony said . He turned the large picture ninety degrees . " Maybe it goes this way . " He leaned it back against the wall and stepped away . They stared at it in silence , tilting their heads from side to side , trying to make some sense of the image . " An estate sale . Some kid 's grandfather left him an ' art collection ' in his will . You should 've seen some of the other crap they had there . One of them just looked like somebody threw paint at the canvas . They were all too happy to have the cash . " " For the frame . You know that big watercolor my dad painted when he was in college ? The one with the barn and all the leaves turning red and orange . This frame will go perfect with that . " Tony raised his hands defensively . " They wanted one - fifty ! I talked them down ! Look , this is real gold leaf ! " Julie was not appeased . " Look , " Tony explained , " This 'll be my Christmas gift to Dad . If I didn 't spend a hundred - twenty on this , I 'd end up spending that much or more on a bunch of other stuff he doesn 't need . He and mom will really like this . " " Taking that ugly painting out of it . Gimme a hand . " Holding the frame upright , they pushed the corners of the picture with their thumbs . The painting and a small , yellowed card popped out the back and landed on the floor . " It says Wassily Kandinsky 1929 . " She looked up at Tony . " Wassily Kandinsky ? Really ? " Tony asked . Julie nodded and smiled . " Ever heard of him ? " " Me neither . " Tony stuck his head through the frame and lifted it onto his shoulders . " You know , " he said , " It is kind of a wah - silly painting , isn 't it ? " Tony chuckled ; Julie rolled her eyes . " I 'm gonna take this out to the garage , " Tony said . He trundled the bulky frame out the back door and into the garage . Gingerly , he placed his expensive prize on the concrete floor and leaned it against the wall . When he walked back into the house , Julie was still staring at the painting . " I think it 's a bird , " she told him . " A bird with a big , fat head and a tiny little body . See ? This could be a beak . " April Fools ! The story you just read appears here on my blog as a part of the Great April Fool 's Day FridayFlash Blog Swap , organized by Tony Noland . You can find my story for today , " Looking Down " at Andy Hollandbeck 's website , Logophilus . ( I should note that my story nearly made Andy sick because of all the blood and gore . . . sorry , Andy ! ) You can read all the dozens of stories swapping around as a part of the GAFDFFBS , check out the GAFDFFBS index . For hundreds of thousands of words of fantastic flash fiction stories , check out the FridayFlash hashtag on Twitter . It happens every Friday ! " Ready for your first day of work , Ed ? " Ed Waterman nearly dropped his coffee . " What , today ? " he asked . " Don 't I get a training video or something ? " " Uh , sir ? I It 's just ' Ed ' , " ventured Ed , but he got the feeling Lanz wasn 't listening . The imposing man was instead busy dumping a heap of brightly - colored spandex into his arms . " Here 's your uniform . You can change in your office . I 'll see you in five , " said Lanz , smiling . Ed could only nod as he struggled with his slippery pile . " Oh ! Eddy ? " said Lanz suddenly . Ed tried to turn carefully . Pieces of uniform slithered to the bland office carpet . " It 's Ed . Yeah ? " Ed stooped over the shiny slick clothes . Lanz made a strange grimace like he was trying to suck a raspberry seed out of his teeth . " You really need to wear different shoes . All employees are responsible for their own footwear . " Ed wandered towards his office to change , unsure which of the doors was his office . He hadn 't seen a single employee , yet - only Lanz . Ed 's parents had been sooo impressed when he 'd gotten the phone call from THE Trevor Lanz , playboy billionaire CEO of LanzCo . The job placement agency had dug up a real honey of a job for him . LanzCo seeks civic - minded administrator for community outreach program . Hours : 5pm - 2am . No degree necessary , ex - military preferred . Some heavy lifting . Starting salary was $ 75 , 000 a year with benefits , something Ed couldn 't afford to miss even if he hadn 't been jobless for the last eight months . He wasn 't ex - military ; he had been a personal trainer until the yuppies dropped him during the recession . He assumed that the LanzCo job was some sort of sponsored social work , like a soup kitchen . Ed finally found the door to a very nice office with a new nameplate on it . It said " Eddy Waterman . " Ed sighed . Inside his new office , he eyed the uniform that Lanz had handed him . Suddenly , Ed wasn 't so sure about this . Ed gulped and tried to keep his balance . He was dressed from head to toe in a livid pink and purple body - tight . It had a matching purple cape with a white lightning bolt on it and a dark purple mask that had been pasted with eye - lash glue over his eyes . Except for the black office shoes , and his boxers bunching around his crotch , it was a rather daunting ensemble . By this point , Ed had no delusions about what he was supposed to be dressed as . A more pressing question was why Lanz was dressed in a similar costume , and why they were currently astride the radio antenna of LanzCo Tower . The wind buffeted them back and forth as the airplane beacon above bathed Ed and Lanz in an eerie red light . " Seriously , what do you think ? " Lanz prompted again . " I think … I should have filled out the health insurance forms before we came up here , " replied Ed . " And brought a spare pair of shorts , " he mumbled . Lanz laughed long and hard . " I 'm not allowed by HR to advise what to wear under the suit , " he said . Lanz was dressed in royal blue with a large white eye on his chest . The iris of the eye was a lightning bolt like the one on Ed 's cape . He looked very imposing in it , and Ed realized for the first time just how tall and built Lanz was . " So who are you then ? " asked Ed cautiously . " You wouldn 't have heard of me yet , Eddy . Nobody has . Tonight is the first appearance you and I will be making in public together . " " Together ? " asked Ed , growing more anxious . " Yep . I 'd been thinking about my life , where I 'd gone , what I 'd seen . ' Take On Me ' by Ah - hah was playing on the radio . Then the truck in front of me flipped over and my life really DID flash in front of my eyes . After that , I found I had the power to overpower people with images from their past . At first I thought I could put it to good marketing use , but NAH … I wanted to use it for good . I wanted to make the scumbags of this world stop and re - evaluate their lives - to be a superhero . That 's where you come in . I need a sidekick to help me . What do you say , Eddy ? Will you join me in the fight against evil ? " April Fools ! The story you just read appears here on my blog as a part of the Great April Fool 's Day FridayFlash Blog Swap , organized by Tony Noland . You can find my story for today , " King Nosmo the Intrusive " at Monica Marier 's website , Attack of the Muses . I tried hard to make my story sound as though it had been written by Monica , even borrowing one of her favorite characters for the story . Did I succeed ? You decide ! You can read all the dozens of stories swapping around as a part of the GAFDFFBS , check out the GAFDFFBS index . For hundreds of thousands of words of fantastic flash fiction stories , check out the FridayFlash hashtag on Twitter . It happens every Friday ! For all of you authors who are participating in the Great April Fool 's Day FridayFlash Blog Swap and would like some sweet , juicy template to facilitate your swapping , here you go . Just add this text to the bottom of your swap partner 's story along with the image below , adding in the appropriate links and swap partner names . Enjoy ! April Fools ! The story you just read appears here on my blog as a part of the Great April Fool 's Day FridayFlash Blog Swap , organized by Tony Noland . You can find my story for today at SWAP PARTNER 's website , http : / / www . AppropriateURL . com To read all the dozens of stories swapping around as a part of the GAFDFFBS , check out the GAFDFFBS index over at Tony 's blog Landless . For hundreds of thousands of words of fantastic flash fiction stories , check out the FridayFlash hashtag on Twitter . It happens every Friday ! The Avant Guardian cried out , " Stop right there , Professor Verbosity ! " and , in a wash of plasma exhaust , landed in between the two combatants . " You 're facing impossible odds , and you know it ! Give up ! Or Else ! " He posed with his fists on hips , looking terribly heroic while also managing to completely block the Grammarian 's aim . " Get out of the way ! " shouted the Grammarian . Uncharacteristically , Professor Verbosity said nothing , just pulled the trigger on the weapon . The Avant Guardian , who had apparently not understood the significance of a massive , high - tech , shoulder mounted weapon in the hands of an angry supervillain , was caught completely off - guard . The parsing beam sliced across him , giving him the full force of the attack while shielding the Grammarian . The Avant Guardian 's armor absorbed and refracted most of the beam 's energy , but he was blown backwards by the reaction . Worse , the sudden and intense demand for memetic energy to power his defenses left the Avant Guardian lying on the ground , stunned and momentarily helpless . There are no flies on the window . There is no blood in my coffee cup . The people on the internet are not talking to me , whispering at me , telling me to do things I don 't want to do . These are not real . The computer itself is not angry with me , not muttering in disgust and revulsion at how ugly and fat I have let myself become . Its humming drone is not a voice , but just the cooling fan at the back . It is a machine , nothing more . The computer is real , but it does not think . It does not have feelings . It does not care about me . The computer is not capable of caring or not caring . It is a machine , nothing more . It connects to the internet because I want it to . I do not serve the computer . . . the computer serves me . The computer serves me . Or rather , some might hate me , but most do not . Only a very small percentage of all the people on the internet have ever interacted with me . Only a small percentage of those have any opinion about me at all . And almost all of those who ever thought about me do not care about me anymore . People have opinions , but I must remember , I must remember , I must remember that they do not think about me all the time . I am only a small part of their world . Their whispering is not real . Their hatred is not real . To them , I am a person on the internet . To them , I am not real . They cannot hear me whispering back at them , fighting against them . I destroyed the microphones they hid in the speakers , gouged them out with my nail clippers and snipped the speaker wires into little bits . There are no sounds on the internet . Not anymore . They cannot hear me . I 'm certain of it . I see the flies and I taste the blood and I hear the whispering but I know they are not real . Every Friday , writers around the world post stories of ~ 1000 words and share them using the # FridayFlash hashtag . For me personally , the # FridayFlash stories have been opportunities to experiment , stretch and grow as a writer . This weekly writing commitment has also been a terrific means of making connections with other writers . Submissions are being accepted as of right now . Head on over to the new FridayFlash . org website to check out the submission guidelines . I look forward to reading your stories ! p . s . If you 'd like to get a sampling of the kind of writing generated under this hashtag , be sure to pick up a copy of Best of Friday Flash , Volume 1 . You 'll love it . I 'm going to tell you a true story . Once upon a time , not so very long ago , perhaps ten years , perhaps twenty , perhaps more , a leprechaun became trapped beneath a fallen oak . Now I know you 're thinking that this must be a fairy tale , what with a stuck leprechaun . Everyone knows that any of the Folk can crouch unseen behind the smallest toadstool , or slip unheard through the narrowest chimney crack . And so would this leprechaun have winked himself out of his dilemma , were it not for the thick vines of mistletoe that wrapped the trunk around . There 's no magic on earth can overcome the disabling power of mistletoe , not even the dance magic of the Folk . So there the little man was , pinned by his ankles . Oh , for all the good it did him , he cried out his little " Help , help ! " , that is , after he 'd cursed and fussed awhile , trying to get free on his own . Proud as all leprechauns are , he was loathe to betray his distress to one of his kin or kind . An uncharitable person might have given a laugh to see the little man struggling to free himself , trying to dance up a spell with both feet pinned hard to the ground . After a bit he was still and sorry for himself , but yet unwilling to call out . Still and all , after three days under the oak , he was out of tobacco and developing a powerful thirst . At last , it was " Help , help ! " , cried he , and for answer came only the silence of the forest earth and the foolishness of sparrows and squirrels . For a day and a night he called and cried until his voice fell still in his parched throat . It was another two days beyond that when the human can upon him . It 's only the foolishness of those who don 't know any better to say that you can 't see a leprechaun except by the light of the full moon . You can see any of the Folk in broad daylight , if they choose to be seen , for some reason , or if , as was the case with our friend , they are too weak to hide . In the light of day they look just as you might think they would , though perhaps not so thick around the middle . Also , beards went out of fashion among the Folk some generations ago , so you 'll not be surprised to hear that , although our friend wore his hair fashionably long , he was bare of chin whiskers . Thus was the sight as greeted the eyes of the human , and thus the vision as what he contemplated for a good long while . After he 'd completed his contemplations , for such scenes as this are not likely to occur more than once in any human 's life , he tried to shift the oak . A dozen strong men in the prime of life and health might have managed it , but one man alone could do nothing solely with the strength of arms . Fortunately for our trapped little friend , the human was a native Irishman , and therefore clever and resourceful as well as witty and a fair dancer , all such native talents being universal among his kin and kind . Round about him he cast for a stout branch and a large stone . These he arranged just so , and , using the full weight of his body on the long lever , wedged up the trunk enough to slip a smaller stone beneath . Inchwise , lift by lift , the human worked the trunk up and up , kicking his smaller stones beneath until the gap was large enough to permit the withdrawal of the leprechaun , said withdrawal done by the collar of his coat . When the leprechaun was quite recovered from his ordeal , which , given plenty of water , chocolate and tobacco , was about as quickly as you might imagine , he set about to discharge his debt to the Irishman . A wish he offered and a wish he insisted the human take and use , despite protestations that no debt was incurred for " individualized humanitarian aid " , the Irishman 's queer way of describing his Christian charity . Finally , after a long while of offering and declining and insisting and such like and so forth , the human agreed to make a wish . Being an Irishman , as I said , he was clever and resourceful , witty and a fair dancer , but , being a young and idealistic Irishman , he was not nearly wise enough to know what to do with a wish . His heart full of beneficence , he wished that his country and his countrymen would all rise in the world and grow wealthy . The leprechaun , however grateful though he was for his rescue , was also deathly tired from his ordeal and , I 'm sorry to say , more than a bit irritated with the human for the haggling over how he should discharge his debt of honor . Had he been in a better mood , he might have granted the wish in a different manner , but perhaps not . The Folk are a tricky lot to deal with . With a wave of his hand and a few dancing steps on his sore , sore feet , the leprechaun cast the spell to make the human 's wish come true . Then , with a bow that was a trifle more abrupt than it need have been , he vanished , leaving the human alone in the remote woodlands . Days and months and years went by . The Irish , who had had centuries to learn how to be poor with dignity and grace , and in fact made the finest poor men in the world , suddenly had to learn how to be first comfortable , then wealthy . The Green Tiger was abroad in the world , and the Ireland in the days of the little man 's magical wealth was a place unrecognizable to the grannies and graybeards , clucking their tongues and shaking their heads over their tea and biscuits . So there 's my story , as true as the grass is green , with the evidence of your own eyes to tell you that it 's so . Let that be a lesson to you , my children . When a leprechaun offers you a wish , ask for wine or whisky , ask for a sunny day or a good meal or a good night 's sleep , but never , ever , ever ask for gold . This week 's limerick isn 't at all humorous . I 've often wondered if the limerick form , which is traditionally associated with snappy one - liners - funny , ribald or both - can be put to a more serious use . Can the limerick express serious emotion , or is the reader so conditioned to expect something funny that they can 't help but wait for the punchline ? Q . How will I navigate all of this ? On Friday , April 1 , I 'll post a list of all of the authors , arranged in their respective pairings , along with the writing prompt the pair was given . It 'll have links so you can see how each writer responded to the prompt - embraced it , riffed off it , ignored it , whatever . Q . My swap partner and I are in different timezones , and Friday comes much earlier for me than it does for him / her . When should we post our stories ? The # FridayFlash community is spread around the globe . One person 's Friday morning is another person 's Thursday afternoon . So , for the purposes of this blogswap , stories may be posted when Friday , April 1 , 2011 comes to the blog that 's EARLIER in the pair . For example , two writers , one in London , one in Los Angeles , would both post their stories when April Fool 's Day hits London . If the London author is paired with a writer in Sydney , then they would both post when April Fool 's Day hits Sydney . Q . That sounds really complicated . Can 't I just post my partner 's story at the same time I would usually post my own ? Oh , very well . Negotiate between the two of you and post them whenever you want . It 's not like I 'm going to come take your lunch money if you do it differently . Q . Once I 've read the swap story on my favorite author 's blog , how do I find the story written by my favorite author ? Each pair of authors will provide mutual links between the stories , as well as back to the index of all the stories . Who knows ? Maybe by reading the swapped story , you 'll discover a new author to love ! Q . Do I have to pretend to be the person I 'm swapped with ? i . e . do I have to write in that person 's voice ? You can if you want to , but no , it 's not required . Some folks might be intrigued at the challenge of trying it , perhaps in taking some of their characters into a new dramatic situation , or writing in their partner 's preferred genre . Otherwise , just write your story and have fun ! Q . Who gets credit for the story ? Me , because I wrote it , or my partner , because he / she posted it ? You get credit for your own work . Consider this a mutual guest posting . Q . Can I tweet about my cat - themed story ? Look , go back and read the damned post , OK ? I never said I didn 't like cats ! Now , can we PLEASE get back to the questions about the Great April Fool 's Day # FridayFlash blogswap ? Q . Is this blogswap authorized by Jon Strother , the Godfather and central controlling authority of # FridayFlash ? Um , no . This was a product of my own fevered brain . Q . That means it isn 't authorized - you can 't do something that isn 't authorized ! First of all , I guess I kinda did already . Second of all , that wasn 't a question , it was a statement . You 're lucky I even let it into the FAQ . Q . What if the person I 've been paired with uses a lot of profanity in their writing ? Or otherwise writes a story that I don 't feel comfortable putting up on my site ? By participating in this blogswap , every author should understand that the story you write will be posted on your colleague 's website . Be respectful of that environment , and be a gracious guest . We 're all adults here , so each pair of authors should be open to discussion of decorum . No one should feel under compulsion to unduly sacrifice artistic freedom as a writer OR be unduly beholden to piss off their website 's readership as a host . Q . The two of us tried to negotiate on this , but can 't come to agreement . What now ? In cases where a random pairing of authors just doesn 't work out ( e . g . " sweet , slice - of - life kittens and lemonade " paired with " cannibal horror sex liberal snuff couplings " ) , let me know and I 'll try to reshuffle the author list . Q . Who logs my story in the FridayFlash collector ? You do . It 's your story , so you should enter it in , using the URL of your swap partner 's blog . Remember to use the specific post page your story appeared in , not the general one for the entire blog . " Only one thing ? It 'd take more than one to make me happy . " With a flick of his wrist , the empty bottle flipped end over end , smashing against the concrete wall in a disintegration of green glass . Shards flew outward in a parabolic shell , rebounding off the wall , raining down into the pit . He took another empty bottle from the case , drew back for another throw . " A miserable son of a bitch like me ? More than one thing , that 's for damn sure . " His tattooed arm winged forward and another perfect shower of broken glass erupted and fell . " There 's gotta be something , Stick . How about a winning lottery ticket ? " Manny leaned against the steel fence , watching the bottles explode . Stick drank Rolling Rock , not because he particularly liked the taste , but because the labels were printed on the glass . He said it made the bottles break better than most brands , with their glued - on paper labels . Having lobbed many kinds of bottles into the recycling pits , Manny had to agree . Once you 'd gotten the hang of smashing empty Rolling Rocks , nothing else came close in terms of destructive satisfaction . " Nah , I don 't want no lottery ticket . If I won a hundred million dollars , I 'd just quit working and drink myself to death . " One foot canted outward , Stick whipped an empty sidearm . It curled in the air before shattering against the left sidewall of the green glass pit , just ahead of the corner . The fragments smashed off the sidewall , pounded into the back wall and arced upwards in a flat spray , a plane of glinting green light that sliced downward in a line . " As it is , job gives me somethin ' to do . I gotta get up every morning to go to work . Beer money don 't grow on trees . " Stick 's hand paused over his case for a moment , then pulled another empty . " Nope , " he said , " a woman ain 't a thing . She 's a lotta different things , a buncha things that change from one day to the next . We 're talking about one thing , just one thing you need to be happy . " He considered his throw carefully . With a soft , spinning lob , Stick made the bottle pop against the back wall , mouth end first . The lip and neck cracked off , leaving the intact bottom to drop downward . It impacted into a big , unbroken wine bottle , a thick - walled gallon jug . The beer bottle bounced upward in five big pieces , the chunks arcing outward in a star shape . Stick laughed . " You see that ? Did you see that ? God bless Earnest and Julio Gallo , huh ? That was beautiful ! " Stick grunted and spit into the pit . " Pitcher ? Like as in a baseball pitcher ? Bullshit . A newspaper delivery guy , maybe , throwing papers onto porches out in the suburbs , but a baseball pitcher ? Bullshit . " He waved his hand dismissively , but smiled as he did so . He looked down into the box at the last empty bottle . This was the last case , too . Once that bottle was gone , it would be another month , maybe two before he came back to the municipal recycling center . " I always hate to throw the last bottle , " Stick said . " Pathetic , huh ? How frickin ' sad is that , a dumb bastard so far gone that smashing beer bottles is the high point of his life ? " He held the bottle for a moment , then threw it backhand against the wall . It shattered as beautifully as all the others had , a perfect starburst of fragments flying upwards , shining in the sunlight before falling into the pit , there to be lost amid all the other bottles and jugs , broken and unbroken . They stood for a while , listening to the near - silence of distant seagulls on the landfill . Without the sound of their own bottles drowning it out , it was just possible to hear the soft , grinding groan of the glass , shifting as it settled down in the pit . Green glass , brown glass , clear glass . . . they all shivered and settled in their respective beds , coming to a deeper resting place , rocked by the subterranean vibrations of the shredders in the metal shed . " Come on , " said Stick . " Let 's get out of here . " They picked up the empty cardboard cases and tossed them in the back of Manny 's truck . All the newspaper and cardboard would go into the bins by the exit . Manny started the truck , but didn 't put it in gear right away . " OK , how about this . How about if it 's not , y ' know , globally happy , not perfectly happy in every way , forever and ever , amen . Instead , let 's say . . . kinda happy . " Manny waggled his hand . " Or maybe perfectly happy , but just for a little while . How about that ? " " A day , an hour , whatever . " Manny put the truck in drive and drove toward the exit . " It 's gotta be one thing , though , just one thing . " One of my stories is up over at Escape Into Life , entitled " Straight and True , My Arrow , Fly " . If you only know the watered down version of the Greek god Eros , the cherubic little homewrecker that the Romans called Cupid , then you should read this story . The theology associated with Eros was a complex and detailed one . Here , of course , it 's dramatic and bloody . Back in the old days , printing was done by setting individual typeblocks in a frame , one block for each letter , number , punctuation mark and space . Even in the hands of an experienced typesetter , the process was relatively slow and prone to errors . The type was all backward in the frame , so spotting typos was tricky . One especially pernicious typo was the substitution of " p " for " q " , since they are mirror images of each other in many fonts . Hence the origin of the phrase , " mind your p 's and q 's " . This system also meant that a printer had to have many , many thousands of individual pieces of type , enough to print an entire newspaper . After the day 's printing , the frames were broken up and the letters redistributed , ready to be used again . Similarly , books were printed in jobs of some defined number of copies , then the type was reused elsewhere . Printers couldn 't afford to leave type framed up for very long , since it meant having a big chunk of type inventory unavailable for other uses . As it was , the inventory of type was a significant part of printing . Then , in a rush of technological innovation came LINOTYPE . It 's pronounced LINE - O - TYPE , since that 's what it did : make an entire line of type in a single , freshly cast piece of metal , called a slug . An operator typed in the text of the line , ready from a normal piece of copy , and the machine cast the line of type . The molten tin cooled while the operator was working on the next line . With the pull of a lever , the finished type slid down onto a frame , automatically in perfect position for loading into the printing press . The line could be in your choice of fonts or mixtures thereof , with specialties of bold , italics , etc . available with the push of a button . You could set as much type as you wanted , and keeping a frame of set type in the warehouse didn 't prevent you from casting more type for other print jobs . When the print run was finished , the type slugs were plopped back in the feed hopper where they were melted down and re - used . It wasn 't exactly Print - On - Demand , but there are the same concepts at work . It took a while for this technological innovation to evolve and mature , and even longer for the traditional publishing houses to adopt it . They 'd invested millions in type inventories , old - style printing presses and employees who knew how to run them . Making the change took generations , and there were still publishers who insisted that the old ways were better . In this environment , newer and smaller houses , without the fixed costs of a legacy technology , were able to come quickly onto the scene and do smaller runs , faster publication rates . These would have been impractical for bigger houses with the older technologies , but with the new linotypes and automated presses , the game changed completely . I was recently in a Twitter discussion of mindmapping , a tool that some productivity and professional organization gurus love to recommend . I 've played around with it a bit , but didn 't know how to apply it . After Trevor Mcpherson offered to share a Freemind template that he uses for plotting and capturing writing ideas , I invited him to come over to Landless and share his expertise . ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Freemind is an easy to use and powerful tool for organizing your thoughts . Based on Tony Buzan 's Mind Mapping program , it allows for a non - linear and visual organization of information . While it may not be everyone 's cup of tea , it certainly offers some advantages for the writer who takes the time to learn the basics . While we 're on the subject , I wouldn 't recommend going much beyond the basics for the purposes discussed here . Doing so runs the risk of the program itself becoming the focus , rather than its use to organize and structure writing projects . We 'll look at a sample mind map I 've created called StoryMap . StoryMap is a tool that is focused on creative aspects of writing . A great deal of the craft of is built on imagination and research . The idea behind the StoryMap was to create a document that focused on these rather than the actual typing . In short , I wanted a way to separate the making things up , and the writing things down . This is what the blank copy of StoryMap looks like : Right about now the free - spirited and artsy - fartsy in the crowd are likely thinking ' No way man ! You establishment types can NOT force my creativity into a formula , man ! ' Well , hippie , repeat after me : Organization is not Fascism . This tool was developed to augment the creative flow , not restrict it . A lot of my writing time was actually spent figuring out character traits and plot ideas while trying to achieve word count . This resulted in a lot staring off into space , mumbling to the cats and not getting much on the page . The word : time ratio at the keyboard was abysmal . After a week or two of this , I realized that writing and typing are not necessarily the same thing . The mind mapping techniques allow for a separation of the non - linear ( making things up ) and linear ( writing things down ) tasks . If food analogies work for you , think about having all the ingredients at hand and the prep work done . Character traits sliced and diced , plot marinated over night , and the dialogue spices all measured out and waiting - Just turn on the stove , and go for it . AS IDEA CATCHER StoryMap allows for the filling in of what I determined to be some important blanks when creating a story . The nice thing about Freemind is that it plays nice with a handful of smart phone apps ( see resource section at the end of this post ) . Stuck in line at the bank or jealous of how that 45 minute train ride to work cuts into your writing time ? Make notes for a scene in act two , or jot down a character idea . Make that alleged down time count towards your story . Feeling burned out , or pressed for time ? Ease your creative guilt by adding to the StoryMap . You might not have the 3 hours you 'd like to sit down and write your masterpiece , but I bet you could find 10 minutes a couple times a day to add to the StoryMap . When you do find a few hours to write , you 'll have a deep well of ideas and notes to draw from . AS REFERENCE POINT Freemind allows for the embedding of documents and links . There are options to add icons , allowing for further customization . A lot of your info can be all in one place , and referenced quickly when organized by character , location , objects , etc . The ugly reality is not many of us have the luxury of countless hours to get things done . The visual paradigm of StoryMap allows for a quick scan of what 's done and what needs work , allowing you to choose a scene or chapter suitable to the time you have available . The content of StoryMap evolved as I learned about the writing process . It will continue to change because I 'm not done learning . If all goes well , I 'll never be done learning . I encourage you download Freemind and use StoryMap as a starting point , and modify it for your own use . Related Resources iPhone app - here 's the thing : I couldn 't find a Freemind compatible app with good reviews . There are equivalent mind mapping apps available for your perusal . I didn 't check them out - I 'm an Android kinda guy . He is currently at work on a time travel novella based on the Dewey Decimal System . Yeah , that 's right , that 's what he said - the Dewey Decimal System . All things Trev can be explored at trevormcpherson . info . Thanks , Trevor ! So , what do you think , everyone ? Could you use this ? Do you see advantages to doing an outline this way over a traditional " I . 1 . i . a . " outline in Word ? Does anyone have an iPhone app they 'd like to share ? Would you prefer a cuter , but more stripped down mind mapper like bubbl . us ? Anyone have any other experiences they 'd like to share ? How well do you think you could you integrate a mind map with the writing ? However , it 's been a bit of a pain in the neck . Minor inserts and scratchouts can be in the printed text , but anything larger needs a footnote and an expansive discussion on the left side . This means I reach over the printed pages to make the more extensive notes on the facing blank page . What happens as I reach around and over the rings , writing in between them and around them ? The ends of the sentences are crammed around the obstacles and my wrist is pinched and twisted . Granted , this wouldn 't be an issue for a left - handed writer , but for me , this was distinctly sub - optimal . Now , the story unfolds in proper sequence with the printed text on the LEFT side . The blank sides of the pages are on the RIGHT , so I can write on them with perfect ease and comfort . My handwritten notes directly refer to the text to be changed . The curator of art cleared his throat before speaking . " Your Majesty , we believe it to be a representation of a meteorite . If I may direct His Majesty 's attention to the herringbone pattern ? " The old man 's papery thin hand waved at the case , then withdrew as the monarch leaned forward for a closer look . " Yes , Your Majesty , in the century following . During the first decades of the twenty - first century , animal fibers were still occasionally used in weaving cloth . Some of the more traditional patterns were still in vogue . " " I see . " The Imperial eyes squinted . " Why is the meteorite covered in a pattern of a woven fabric derived from animal fibers ? I see now that it 's clearly a cavorite ore deposit . " The curator cleared his throat again , a slight sheen of sweat on his brow . " His Majesty may be gracious enough to forgive the foolishness of ancient artists . The proportions of the image suggest that this was not intended to be a scale - accurate representation of meteorite harvesting . " The lord of ten thousand suns frowned . " But this was done at about the same time as mankind first established the presence of cavorite in Oort cloud debris . It 's a perfect picture of cavorite extraction . The electron spindle , the sonocavitation focusing crystal , even the positron - matrix webbing around the meteorite , although why it 's cast in a herringbone pattern is a mystery . " The royal historian shifted slightly , a subtle invitation to be invited to speak . The monarch nodded to him and his said , " Your majesty , the first cavorite ore deposits were discovered in 2098 . This drawing dates from earlier in that century , possibly from as early as 2020 . " " Are you telling me it 's just a coincidence ? That this picture , which is a perfect representation of the cavorite extraction process , the heart of translight drive and the entire basis of our star empire , has no connection to it at all ? Rubbish . " He turned to the curator . " Relabel this exhibit . It is clearly an early schematic of a cavorite extractor . " The curator bowed low , his face hot and flushed . The Grammarian has been trying to crack the case of a series of high - tech crimes . He fears that the fate of Lexicon City hangs in the balance . Now , we join our hero in hot pursuit of his best lead yet . . . The Grammarian sped down rain - slick streets , the tires of his motorcycle sending a spray of oily water behind him . The car in front swerved to avoid a collision , but didn 't slow even a fraction . Throttle wide open , the Grammarian closed the distance with every passing second . The three men robbed a jewelry store , having disabled the alarms with a set of high - tech sonic negator probes . It was like using a jackhammer to crack a walnut , and the Grammarian knew that he was onto something big . This was the third set of criminals using technology way , way above their station , and he wanted to know who was behind it . From the rear window of the car , a shot exploded , sending a gout of yellow flame backwards . The superhero swerved , anticipating that the shot would go wild to the right . He stretched out his left hand to send a stream of sentence fragment memes forward , but releasing the brake caused him to skid on a slick spot in the road . Under his breath , the Grammarian cursed the necessity of using a motorcycle for this kind of pursuit . The rain didn 't bother his eyes or breathing - his projection field took care of that - but it made his traction less than reliable . He reached down and sprayed a cloud of metaphors at his tires . Instantly , the tiny packets of energy adhered to the rubber , causing them to stick to the pavement much better . Good thing sticky imagery is a transferable property , he thought . With a grin , he revved the engine higher and the bike leapt forward . Another shot from the gunman in the backseat of the getaway car , this time easily avoided . He was getting closer . Within another minute he 'd have them . They were headed toward the docks , and there would be nowhere left to run . With a tremendous crash , the car slammed through a nine foot chain - link gate , snapping it off its hinges . A jagged edged flap of galvanized wire arced towards the Grammarian , pivoting off the roof of the car . He reflexively augmented his strength as it sliced downward , gripping the fence and pushing upwards , forcing the wire away from his head . The Grammarian felt his skin tear as a sharp edge dug into his palm . You rotten jerks are going to pay for that , he thought , as his motorcycle slid under that torn fencing and spun out against a concrete pole . The Grammarian flipped through the air and landed in a tight rolling somersault , ending up on his feet ten feet from the bike . He ran to it , righted it and sped off after the car . His head throbbed with the effort of readjusting his balance of raw strength with agility and intelligence . The car pulled up at a warehouse near Pier 12 , one of the disused smaller piers from the bygone age of stevedores and break bulk cargo . With a roar , he approached the car and skidded to a stop . He leapt off the bike and landed in a fighting stance . He took a moment to survey the scene . Rushing into an ambush was a rookie mistake , as was entering the building the way the bad guys expected you to . Twenty - five feet up , a row of large windows , mostly broken and boarded up , looked like his best bet . He ran around the side of the building and withdrew a gas gun and climbing rope . The auto - guided projectile hooked a line onto the roof on the first shot ; he climbed upwards until he was parallel with the line of windows . The Grammarian forced his breathing into a regular pattern as he rappelled over until he could get a clear look in , taking care not to be silhouetted against the light . Within , all was quiet and dark . His quarry had the good sense to lay low and wait for a chance to flee . If he went in with all weapons blazing , that might be enough of an opening for them to escape via another entrance . From one of his vest pockets , the Grammarian took a handful of screamer mines . Each one was only about the size of a pea , but they would shriek at a hundred and fifty decibels if anyone passed by them . He scattered them in front of the doorway below , and the large loading dock doors , the only ways in or out of the building . He climbed higher so he could come into the window from above . The decrepit window would have moaned on its hinges had he not turned on his sound suppression field . It was an old trick , one of his standbys ; this wasn 't his first time breaking into a building . Once inside , he deactivated the field and listened . Under the right conditions , his super - hearing allowed him to discern a man 's heartbeat from a hundred paces . These conditions were terrible . The rain on the roof drowned out everything , even the tick of the car 's cooling engine was barely registering . He upped the night vision resolution of his visor until the scene before him was , if not as bright as day , at least navigable . There was no one in evidence . The warehouse was partly filled with large crates , newly packaged in green wood and fresh plastic . He dropped down from the ledge around the window frame . In mid - air , a hail of bullets ripped at him from the far part of the loading area . He spun , twisting his body to present the smallest possible target . One projectile tore the heel off his left boot , several tore through his cloak , tearing the stealth circuitry and sending showers of sparks in the darkness . Even before he was on the ground , the Grammarian sent a concentrated ball of memetic energy zinging through the air towards the corner where his assailants lay . The energy packet expanded mid - flight , becoming a huge net of interlocked subtending clauses , intermeshed and interwoven in a complex , tangled trap . Bullets passed through it as it flew , doing no damage at all . With a sound like a can being crushed , the net fell onto the machine gun nest . The gun kept firing , wildly now , up into the air , against the wall of the warehouse . The Grammarian crouched , nursing his torn hand and left ankle , twisted by by the force of the bullet 's impact . His verbal trap should have rendered the gunmen unconscious , bewildered by he complex linguistic memes of the net . The fact that the gun was still firing told him that it was , at best , a remote controlled weapon , or , at worst , an automated decoy that he 'd fallen for . High above him , near the roof , he could hear footsteps on the catwalk , moving fast . He ran across the floor , leaping and dodging around the thrashing weapon with its hail of gunfire . At the steps , he raced upwards three at a time . There ! The three men were ducking out onto a balcony . The Grammarian shot a beam of syllogisms , but missed . The verbal energy ray splashed against the wall , lighting it up like the fourth of July . " You can 't escape ! Stop ! " It was always strange to say such things , but he was frequently surprised by how effective it was while in pursuit . Criminals never stopped and let themselves be captured , but they often tried to call back some taunt or insult . Turning people 's words against them was a specialty , but in this case , he had no luck . Either the men were naturally less talkative than most criminals , or they 'd been trained to avoid saying anything where the Grammarian could use it . Ha ! I 've got you now , he thought . Zeroing in on their utterances , the Grammarian sent a shockwave of feedback racing back down towards the source of the speech . In a moment , they would have to eat their own words and , with the wind knocked out of them , picking up the pieces of this robbery would be simplicity . With less than a second to spare , he sensed that something was wrong . Whether it was a sudden drop in volume of the screamers or the sensation of a pressure wave building in front of him , his fighting instincts took over . He flipped upwards and over to the right , leaping out into the darkness , trying to coil into a tight ball . There wasn 't enough time to complete the move . A roaring blast crashed past him and slammed into the warehouse , tearing the balcony apart and sending the old high - lift crane spinning backwards through the roof of the building . The barest edge of the blast caught the Grammarian 's side with the force of a baseball bat swung by a pro . He stifled his cry of pain , but the shock of the impact disoriented him for a crucial instant . Lifted high into the air by the blast , spinning wildly , the Grammarian lost his orientation and could not tell which way he was falling . Through the tearing agony , he estimated that he had three seconds , perhaps four , before he slammed onto the pavement . In free fall , with nothing to project against , he could not slow his descent by adhering onto a wall or lamppost . He had only one option left . Desperately , he sent a cloud of allegory shooting from his gloves . The dragging air pulled on the cloud , giving him the barest possible moment to see the ground rushing up to him . He set his chest projector to wide beam and blasted out a single verb at maximum energy density . The word - sense meme " shove " pounded into the ground and sent him slanting sideways , tumbling and crashing along the concrete . He pushed up on his good hand and tried to control the tumble with a judo move . He was only partly successful , landing on his feet , but still badly disoriented . " So , it seems that you 've interrupted my henchmen just as they were in the middle of a an important job for me , ruining a certain amount of planning that I had , not only for the jewels they were supposed to be bringing back , but for them as well ! " The evil villain curtailed his flow of words with a blast from his weapon . A beam of reddish light flashed forward , surrounded by a nimbus of crackling memetic energy . The Grammarian made a staggering leap to the side as the incandescent pulse smashed into the crates behind him . Wood splinters exploded outward , stabbing through his cloak and showering him with debris . He flipped into a tight somersault and landed more or less on his feet , blurry - eyed and dizzy . When the hell had Professor Verbosity gotten so damned powerful ? He looked up and saw that the Professor was aiming the weapon at him again . This is my writing blog , which means you 'll find fiction ( short , medium and long ) , thoughts , ideas , experiments and other grammatically correct prose . The pages at the top will take you to my publications and samples of my writing . I 'd love to know what you think , so feel free to leave comments on anything you read . I retain ownership and copyright on this blog and everything it contains , perpetually , on any and all media , and throughout this and every other universe . Feel free to link to this blog , but please get my permission to reproduce or make extensive quotations of the material you see here . See that ? I said " please " . That 's me being polite . I didn 't have to do that . I could have said , " . . . or else I will use whatever eldritch magiks I can lay hands on so as to bind your plagiarist sins to your soul with bands of thorn and fire for the rest of all eternity . " I was polite . Please be so kind as to return the favor . - Tony Noland
|
Each of the authors below worked out the details with their swap partner directly . In some cases this was easy and painless , while in other cases people now hate me . For everyone in the non - hating category , I hope you had fun ! I asked the authors to post the following template text with their stories , to help people navigate through all of this . April Fools ! The story you just read appears here on my blog as a part of the Great April Fool 's Day FridayFlash Blog Swap , organized by Tony Noland . You can find my story for today at SWAP PARTNER 's website , http : / / www . AppropriateURL . com To read all the dozens of stories swapping around as a part of the GAFDFFBS , check out the GAFDFFBS index over at Tony 's blog Landless . For hundreds of thousands of words of fantastic flash fiction stories , check out the FridayFlash hashtag on Twitter . It happens every Friday ! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ " I suppose they could 've been hanging it wrong , " Tony said . He turned the large picture ninety degrees . " Maybe it goes this way . " He leaned it back against the wall and stepped away . They stared at it in silence , tilting their heads from side to side , trying to make some sense of the image . " An estate sale . Some kid 's grandfather left him an ' art collection ' in his will . You should 've seen some of the other crap they had there . One of them just looked like somebody threw paint at the canvas . They were all too happy to have the cash . " " For the frame . You know that big watercolor my dad painted when he was in college ? The one with the barn and all the leaves turning red and orange . This frame will go perfect with that . " Tony raised his hands defensively . " They wanted one - fifty ! I talked them down ! Look , this is real gold leaf ! " Julie was not appeased . " Look , " Tony explained , " This 'll be my Christmas gift to Dad . If I didn 't spend a hundred - twenty on this , I 'd end up spending that much or more on a bunch of other stuff he doesn 't need . He and mom will really like this . " " Taking that ugly painting out of it . Gimme a hand . " Holding the frame upright , they pushed the corners of the picture with their thumbs . The painting and a small , yellowed card popped out the back and landed on the floor . " It says Wassily Kandinsky 1929 . " She looked up at Tony . " Wassily Kandinsky ? Really ? " Tony asked . Julie nodded and smiled . " Ever heard of him ? " " Me neither . " Tony stuck his head through the frame and lifted it onto his shoulders . " You know , " he said , " It is kind of a wah - silly painting , isn 't it ? " Tony chuckled ; Julie rolled her eyes . " I 'm gonna take this out to the garage , " Tony said . He trundled the bulky frame out the back door and into the garage . Gingerly , he placed his expensive prize on the concrete floor and leaned it against the wall . When he walked back into the house , Julie was still staring at the painting . " I think it 's a bird , " she told him . " A bird with a big , fat head and a tiny little body . See ? This could be a beak . " April Fools ! The story you just read appears here on my blog as a part of the Great April Fool 's Day FridayFlash Blog Swap , organized by Tony Noland . You can find my story for today , " Looking Down " at Andy Hollandbeck 's website , Logophilus . ( I should note that my story nearly made Andy sick because of all the blood and gore . . . sorry , Andy ! ) You can read all the dozens of stories swapping around as a part of the GAFDFFBS , check out the GAFDFFBS index . For hundreds of thousands of words of fantastic flash fiction stories , check out the FridayFlash hashtag on Twitter . It happens every Friday ! " Ready for your first day of work , Ed ? " Ed Waterman nearly dropped his coffee . " What , today ? " he asked . " Don 't I get a training video or something ? " " Uh , sir ? I It 's just ' Ed ' , " ventured Ed , but he got the feeling Lanz wasn 't listening . The imposing man was instead busy dumping a heap of brightly - colored spandex into his arms . " Here 's your uniform . You can change in your office . I 'll see you in five , " said Lanz , smiling . Ed could only nod as he struggled with his slippery pile . " Oh ! Eddy ? " said Lanz suddenly . Ed tried to turn carefully . Pieces of uniform slithered to the bland office carpet . " It 's Ed . Yeah ? " Ed stooped over the shiny slick clothes . Lanz made a strange grimace like he was trying to suck a raspberry seed out of his teeth . " You really need to wear different shoes . All employees are responsible for their own footwear . " Ed wandered towards his office to change , unsure which of the doors was his office . He hadn 't seen a single employee , yet - only Lanz . Ed 's parents had been sooo impressed when he 'd gotten the phone call from THE Trevor Lanz , playboy billionaire CEO of LanzCo . The job placement agency had dug up a real honey of a job for him . LanzCo seeks civic - minded administrator for community outreach program . Hours : 5pm - 2am . No degree necessary , ex - military preferred . Some heavy lifting . Starting salary was $ 75 , 000 a year with benefits , something Ed couldn 't afford to miss even if he hadn 't been jobless for the last eight months . He wasn 't ex - military ; he had been a personal trainer until the yuppies dropped him during the recession . He assumed that the LanzCo job was some sort of sponsored social work , like a soup kitchen . Ed finally found the door to a very nice office with a new nameplate on it . It said " Eddy Waterman . " Ed sighed . Inside his new office , he eyed the uniform that Lanz had handed him . Suddenly , Ed wasn 't so sure about this . Ed gulped and tried to keep his balance . He was dressed from head to toe in a livid pink and purple body - tight . It had a matching purple cape with a white lightning bolt on it and a dark purple mask that had been pasted with eye - lash glue over his eyes . Except for the black office shoes , and his boxers bunching around his crotch , it was a rather daunting ensemble . By this point , Ed had no delusions about what he was supposed to be dressed as . A more pressing question was why Lanz was dressed in a similar costume , and why they were currently astride the radio antenna of LanzCo Tower . The wind buffeted them back and forth as the airplane beacon above bathed Ed and Lanz in an eerie red light . " Seriously , what do you think ? " Lanz prompted again . " I think … I should have filled out the health insurance forms before we came up here , " replied Ed . " And brought a spare pair of shorts , " he mumbled . Lanz laughed long and hard . " I 'm not allowed by HR to advise what to wear under the suit , " he said . Lanz was dressed in royal blue with a large white eye on his chest . The iris of the eye was a lightning bolt like the one on Ed 's cape . He looked very imposing in it , and Ed realized for the first time just how tall and built Lanz was . " So who are you then ? " asked Ed cautiously . " You wouldn 't have heard of me yet , Eddy . Nobody has . Tonight is the first appearance you and I will be making in public together . " " Together ? " asked Ed , growing more anxious . " Yep . I 'd been thinking about my life , where I 'd gone , what I 'd seen . ' Take On Me ' by Ah - hah was playing on the radio . Then the truck in front of me flipped over and my life really DID flash in front of my eyes . After that , I found I had the power to overpower people with images from their past . At first I thought I could put it to good marketing use , but NAH … I wanted to use it for good . I wanted to make the scumbags of this world stop and re - evaluate their lives - to be a superhero . That 's where you come in . I need a sidekick to help me . What do you say , Eddy ? Will you join me in the fight against evil ? " April Fools ! The story you just read appears here on my blog as a part of the Great April Fool 's Day FridayFlash Blog Swap , organized by Tony Noland . You can find my story for today , " King Nosmo the Intrusive " at Monica Marier 's website , Attack of the Muses . I tried hard to make my story sound as though it had been written by Monica , even borrowing one of her favorite characters for the story . Did I succeed ? You decide ! You can read all the dozens of stories swapping around as a part of the GAFDFFBS , check out the GAFDFFBS index . For hundreds of thousands of words of fantastic flash fiction stories , check out the FridayFlash hashtag on Twitter . It happens every Friday ! For all of you authors who are participating in the Great April Fool 's Day FridayFlash Blog Swap and would like some sweet , juicy template to facilitate your swapping , here you go . Just add this text to the bottom of your swap partner 's story along with the image below , adding in the appropriate links and swap partner names . Enjoy ! April Fools ! The story you just read appears here on my blog as a part of the Great April Fool 's Day FridayFlash Blog Swap , organized by Tony Noland . You can find my story for today at SWAP PARTNER 's website , http : / / www . AppropriateURL . com To read all the dozens of stories swapping around as a part of the GAFDFFBS , check out the GAFDFFBS index over at Tony 's blog Landless . For hundreds of thousands of words of fantastic flash fiction stories , check out the FridayFlash hashtag on Twitter . It happens every Friday ! The Avant Guardian cried out , " Stop right there , Professor Verbosity ! " and , in a wash of plasma exhaust , landed in between the two combatants . " You 're facing impossible odds , and you know it ! Give up ! Or Else ! " He posed with his fists on hips , looking terribly heroic while also managing to completely block the Grammarian 's aim . " Get out of the way ! " shouted the Grammarian . Uncharacteristically , Professor Verbosity said nothing , just pulled the trigger on the weapon . The Avant Guardian , who had apparently not understood the significance of a massive , high - tech , shoulder mounted weapon in the hands of an angry supervillain , was caught completely off - guard . The parsing beam sliced across him , giving him the full force of the attack while shielding the Grammarian . The Avant Guardian 's armor absorbed and refracted most of the beam 's energy , but he was blown backwards by the reaction . Worse , the sudden and intense demand for memetic energy to power his defenses left the Avant Guardian lying on the ground , stunned and momentarily helpless . There are no flies on the window . There is no blood in my coffee cup . The people on the internet are not talking to me , whispering at me , telling me to do things I don 't want to do . These are not real . The computer itself is not angry with me , not muttering in disgust and revulsion at how ugly and fat I have let myself become . Its humming drone is not a voice , but just the cooling fan at the back . It is a machine , nothing more . The computer is real , but it does not think . It does not have feelings . It does not care about me . The computer is not capable of caring or not caring . It is a machine , nothing more . It connects to the internet because I want it to . I do not serve the computer . . . the computer serves me . The computer serves me . Or rather , some might hate me , but most do not . Only a very small percentage of all the people on the internet have ever interacted with me . Only a small percentage of those have any opinion about me at all . And almost all of those who ever thought about me do not care about me anymore . People have opinions , but I must remember , I must remember , I must remember that they do not think about me all the time . I am only a small part of their world . Their whispering is not real . Their hatred is not real . To them , I am a person on the internet . To them , I am not real . They cannot hear me whispering back at them , fighting against them . I destroyed the microphones they hid in the speakers , gouged them out with my nail clippers and snipped the speaker wires into little bits . There are no sounds on the internet . Not anymore . They cannot hear me . I 'm certain of it . I see the flies and I taste the blood and I hear the whispering but I know they are not real . Every Friday , writers around the world post stories of ~ 1000 words and share them using the # FridayFlash hashtag . For me personally , the # FridayFlash stories have been opportunities to experiment , stretch and grow as a writer . This weekly writing commitment has also been a terrific means of making connections with other writers . Submissions are being accepted as of right now . Head on over to the new FridayFlash . org website to check out the submission guidelines . I look forward to reading your stories ! p . s . If you 'd like to get a sampling of the kind of writing generated under this hashtag , be sure to pick up a copy of Best of Friday Flash , Volume 1 . You 'll love it . I 'm going to tell you a true story . Once upon a time , not so very long ago , perhaps ten years , perhaps twenty , perhaps more , a leprechaun became trapped beneath a fallen oak . Now I know you 're thinking that this must be a fairy tale , what with a stuck leprechaun . Everyone knows that any of the Folk can crouch unseen behind the smallest toadstool , or slip unheard through the narrowest chimney crack . And so would this leprechaun have winked himself out of his dilemma , were it not for the thick vines of mistletoe that wrapped the trunk around . There 's no magic on earth can overcome the disabling power of mistletoe , not even the dance magic of the Folk . So there the little man was , pinned by his ankles . Oh , for all the good it did him , he cried out his little " Help , help ! " , that is , after he 'd cursed and fussed awhile , trying to get free on his own . Proud as all leprechauns are , he was loathe to betray his distress to one of his kin or kind . An uncharitable person might have given a laugh to see the little man struggling to free himself , trying to dance up a spell with both feet pinned hard to the ground . After a bit he was still and sorry for himself , but yet unwilling to call out . Still and all , after three days under the oak , he was out of tobacco and developing a powerful thirst . At last , it was " Help , help ! " , cried he , and for answer came only the silence of the forest earth and the foolishness of sparrows and squirrels . For a day and a night he called and cried until his voice fell still in his parched throat . It was another two days beyond that when the human can upon him . It 's only the foolishness of those who don 't know any better to say that you can 't see a leprechaun except by the light of the full moon . You can see any of the Folk in broad daylight , if they choose to be seen , for some reason , or if , as was the case with our friend , they are too weak to hide . In the light of day they look just as you might think they would , though perhaps not so thick around the middle . Also , beards went out of fashion among the Folk some generations ago , so you 'll not be surprised to hear that , although our friend wore his hair fashionably long , he was bare of chin whiskers . Thus was the sight as greeted the eyes of the human , and thus the vision as what he contemplated for a good long while . After he 'd completed his contemplations , for such scenes as this are not likely to occur more than once in any human 's life , he tried to shift the oak . A dozen strong men in the prime of life and health might have managed it , but one man alone could do nothing solely with the strength of arms . Fortunately for our trapped little friend , the human was a native Irishman , and therefore clever and resourceful as well as witty and a fair dancer , all such native talents being universal among his kin and kind . Round about him he cast for a stout branch and a large stone . These he arranged just so , and , using the full weight of his body on the long lever , wedged up the trunk enough to slip a smaller stone beneath . Inchwise , lift by lift , the human worked the trunk up and up , kicking his smaller stones beneath until the gap was large enough to permit the withdrawal of the leprechaun , said withdrawal done by the collar of his coat . When the leprechaun was quite recovered from his ordeal , which , given plenty of water , chocolate and tobacco , was about as quickly as you might imagine , he set about to discharge his debt to the Irishman . A wish he offered and a wish he insisted the human take and use , despite protestations that no debt was incurred for " individualized humanitarian aid " , the Irishman 's queer way of describing his Christian charity . Finally , after a long while of offering and declining and insisting and such like and so forth , the human agreed to make a wish . Being an Irishman , as I said , he was clever and resourceful , witty and a fair dancer , but , being a young and idealistic Irishman , he was not nearly wise enough to know what to do with a wish . His heart full of beneficence , he wished that his country and his countrymen would all rise in the world and grow wealthy . The leprechaun , however grateful though he was for his rescue , was also deathly tired from his ordeal and , I 'm sorry to say , more than a bit irritated with the human for the haggling over how he should discharge his debt of honor . Had he been in a better mood , he might have granted the wish in a different manner , but perhaps not . The Folk are a tricky lot to deal with . With a wave of his hand and a few dancing steps on his sore , sore feet , the leprechaun cast the spell to make the human 's wish come true . Then , with a bow that was a trifle more abrupt than it need have been , he vanished , leaving the human alone in the remote woodlands . Days and months and years went by . The Irish , who had had centuries to learn how to be poor with dignity and grace , and in fact made the finest poor men in the world , suddenly had to learn how to be first comfortable , then wealthy . The Green Tiger was abroad in the world , and the Ireland in the days of the little man 's magical wealth was a place unrecognizable to the grannies and graybeards , clucking their tongues and shaking their heads over their tea and biscuits . So there 's my story , as true as the grass is green , with the evidence of your own eyes to tell you that it 's so . Let that be a lesson to you , my children . When a leprechaun offers you a wish , ask for wine or whisky , ask for a sunny day or a good meal or a good night 's sleep , but never , ever , ever ask for gold . This week 's limerick isn 't at all humorous . I 've often wondered if the limerick form , which is traditionally associated with snappy one - liners - funny , ribald or both - can be put to a more serious use . Can the limerick express serious emotion , or is the reader so conditioned to expect something funny that they can 't help but wait for the punchline ? Q . How will I navigate all of this ? On Friday , April 1 , I 'll post a list of all of the authors , arranged in their respective pairings , along with the writing prompt the pair was given . It 'll have links so you can see how each writer responded to the prompt - embraced it , riffed off it , ignored it , whatever . Q . My swap partner and I are in different timezones , and Friday comes much earlier for me than it does for him / her . When should we post our stories ? The # FridayFlash community is spread around the globe . One person 's Friday morning is another person 's Thursday afternoon . So , for the purposes of this blogswap , stories may be posted when Friday , April 1 , 2011 comes to the blog that 's EARLIER in the pair . For example , two writers , one in London , one in Los Angeles , would both post their stories when April Fool 's Day hits London . If the London author is paired with a writer in Sydney , then they would both post when April Fool 's Day hits Sydney . Q . That sounds really complicated . Can 't I just post my partner 's story at the same time I would usually post my own ? Oh , very well . Negotiate between the two of you and post them whenever you want . It 's not like I 'm going to come take your lunch money if you do it differently . Q . Once I 've read the swap story on my favorite author 's blog , how do I find the story written by my favorite author ? Each pair of authors will provide mutual links between the stories , as well as back to the index of all the stories . Who knows ? Maybe by reading the swapped story , you 'll discover a new author to love ! Q . Do I have to pretend to be the person I 'm swapped with ? i . e . do I have to write in that person 's voice ? You can if you want to , but no , it 's not required . Some folks might be intrigued at the challenge of trying it , perhaps in taking some of their characters into a new dramatic situation , or writing in their partner 's preferred genre . Otherwise , just write your story and have fun ! Q . Who gets credit for the story ? Me , because I wrote it , or my partner , because he / she posted it ? You get credit for your own work . Consider this a mutual guest posting . Q . Can I tweet about my cat - themed story ? Look , go back and read the damned post , OK ? I never said I didn 't like cats ! Now , can we PLEASE get back to the questions about the Great April Fool 's Day # FridayFlash blogswap ? Q . Is this blogswap authorized by Jon Strother , the Godfather and central controlling authority of # FridayFlash ? Um , no . This was a product of my own fevered brain . Q . That means it isn 't authorized - you can 't do something that isn 't authorized ! First of all , I guess I kinda did already . Second of all , that wasn 't a question , it was a statement . You 're lucky I even let it into the FAQ . Q . What if the person I 've been paired with uses a lot of profanity in their writing ? Or otherwise writes a story that I don 't feel comfortable putting up on my site ? By participating in this blogswap , every author should understand that the story you write will be posted on your colleague 's website . Be respectful of that environment , and be a gracious guest . We 're all adults here , so each pair of authors should be open to discussion of decorum . No one should feel under compulsion to unduly sacrifice artistic freedom as a writer OR be unduly beholden to piss off their website 's readership as a host . Q . The two of us tried to negotiate on this , but can 't come to agreement . What now ? In cases where a random pairing of authors just doesn 't work out ( e . g . " sweet , slice - of - life kittens and lemonade " paired with " cannibal horror sex liberal snuff couplings " ) , let me know and I 'll try to reshuffle the author list . Q . Who logs my story in the FridayFlash collector ? You do . It 's your story , so you should enter it in , using the URL of your swap partner 's blog . Remember to use the specific post page your story appeared in , not the general one for the entire blog . " Only one thing ? It 'd take more than one to make me happy . " With a flick of his wrist , the empty bottle flipped end over end , smashing against the concrete wall in a disintegration of green glass . Shards flew outward in a parabolic shell , rebounding off the wall , raining down into the pit . He took another empty bottle from the case , drew back for another throw . " A miserable son of a bitch like me ? More than one thing , that 's for damn sure . " His tattooed arm winged forward and another perfect shower of broken glass erupted and fell . " There 's gotta be something , Stick . How about a winning lottery ticket ? " Manny leaned against the steel fence , watching the bottles explode . Stick drank Rolling Rock , not because he particularly liked the taste , but because the labels were printed on the glass . He said it made the bottles break better than most brands , with their glued - on paper labels . Having lobbed many kinds of bottles into the recycling pits , Manny had to agree . Once you 'd gotten the hang of smashing empty Rolling Rocks , nothing else came close in terms of destructive satisfaction . " Nah , I don 't want no lottery ticket . If I won a hundred million dollars , I 'd just quit working and drink myself to death . " One foot canted outward , Stick whipped an empty sidearm . It curled in the air before shattering against the left sidewall of the green glass pit , just ahead of the corner . The fragments smashed off the sidewall , pounded into the back wall and arced upwards in a flat spray , a plane of glinting green light that sliced downward in a line . " As it is , job gives me somethin ' to do . I gotta get up every morning to go to work . Beer money don 't grow on trees . " Stick 's hand paused over his case for a moment , then pulled another empty . " Nope , " he said , " a woman ain 't a thing . She 's a lotta different things , a buncha things that change from one day to the next . We 're talking about one thing , just one thing you need to be happy . " He considered his throw carefully . With a soft , spinning lob , Stick made the bottle pop against the back wall , mouth end first . The lip and neck cracked off , leaving the intact bottom to drop downward . It impacted into a big , unbroken wine bottle , a thick - walled gallon jug . The beer bottle bounced upward in five big pieces , the chunks arcing outward in a star shape . Stick laughed . " You see that ? Did you see that ? God bless Earnest and Julio Gallo , huh ? That was beautiful ! " Stick grunted and spit into the pit . " Pitcher ? Like as in a baseball pitcher ? Bullshit . A newspaper delivery guy , maybe , throwing papers onto porches out in the suburbs , but a baseball pitcher ? Bullshit . " He waved his hand dismissively , but smiled as he did so . He looked down into the box at the last empty bottle . This was the last case , too . Once that bottle was gone , it would be another month , maybe two before he came back to the municipal recycling center . " I always hate to throw the last bottle , " Stick said . " Pathetic , huh ? How frickin ' sad is that , a dumb bastard so far gone that smashing beer bottles is the high point of his life ? " He held the bottle for a moment , then threw it backhand against the wall . It shattered as beautifully as all the others had , a perfect starburst of fragments flying upwards , shining in the sunlight before falling into the pit , there to be lost amid all the other bottles and jugs , broken and unbroken . They stood for a while , listening to the near - silence of distant seagulls on the landfill . Without the sound of their own bottles drowning it out , it was just possible to hear the soft , grinding groan of the glass , shifting as it settled down in the pit . Green glass , brown glass , clear glass . . . they all shivered and settled in their respective beds , coming to a deeper resting place , rocked by the subterranean vibrations of the shredders in the metal shed . " Come on , " said Stick . " Let 's get out of here . " They picked up the empty cardboard cases and tossed them in the back of Manny 's truck . All the newspaper and cardboard would go into the bins by the exit . Manny started the truck , but didn 't put it in gear right away . " OK , how about this . How about if it 's not , y ' know , globally happy , not perfectly happy in every way , forever and ever , amen . Instead , let 's say . . . kinda happy . " Manny waggled his hand . " Or maybe perfectly happy , but just for a little while . How about that ? " " A day , an hour , whatever . " Manny put the truck in drive and drove toward the exit . " It 's gotta be one thing , though , just one thing . " One of my stories is up over at Escape Into Life , entitled " Straight and True , My Arrow , Fly " . If you only know the watered down version of the Greek god Eros , the cherubic little homewrecker that the Romans called Cupid , then you should read this story . The theology associated with Eros was a complex and detailed one . Here , of course , it 's dramatic and bloody . Back in the old days , printing was done by setting individual typeblocks in a frame , one block for each letter , number , punctuation mark and space . Even in the hands of an experienced typesetter , the process was relatively slow and prone to errors . The type was all backward in the frame , so spotting typos was tricky . One especially pernicious typo was the substitution of " p " for " q " , since they are mirror images of each other in many fonts . Hence the origin of the phrase , " mind your p 's and q 's " . This system also meant that a printer had to have many , many thousands of individual pieces of type , enough to print an entire newspaper . After the day 's printing , the frames were broken up and the letters redistributed , ready to be used again . Similarly , books were printed in jobs of some defined number of copies , then the type was reused elsewhere . Printers couldn 't afford to leave type framed up for very long , since it meant having a big chunk of type inventory unavailable for other uses . As it was , the inventory of type was a significant part of printing . Then , in a rush of technological innovation came LINOTYPE . It 's pronounced LINE - O - TYPE , since that 's what it did : make an entire line of type in a single , freshly cast piece of metal , called a slug . An operator typed in the text of the line , ready from a normal piece of copy , and the machine cast the line of type . The molten tin cooled while the operator was working on the next line . With the pull of a lever , the finished type slid down onto a frame , automatically in perfect position for loading into the printing press . The line could be in your choice of fonts or mixtures thereof , with specialties of bold , italics , etc . available with the push of a button . You could set as much type as you wanted , and keeping a frame of set type in the warehouse didn 't prevent you from casting more type for other print jobs . When the print run was finished , the type slugs were plopped back in the feed hopper where they were melted down and re - used . It wasn 't exactly Print - On - Demand , but there are the same concepts at work . It took a while for this technological innovation to evolve and mature , and even longer for the traditional publishing houses to adopt it . They 'd invested millions in type inventories , old - style printing presses and employees who knew how to run them . Making the change took generations , and there were still publishers who insisted that the old ways were better . In this environment , newer and smaller houses , without the fixed costs of a legacy technology , were able to come quickly onto the scene and do smaller runs , faster publication rates . These would have been impractical for bigger houses with the older technologies , but with the new linotypes and automated presses , the game changed completely . I was recently in a Twitter discussion of mindmapping , a tool that some productivity and professional organization gurus love to recommend . I 've played around with it a bit , but didn 't know how to apply it . After Trevor Mcpherson offered to share a Freemind template that he uses for plotting and capturing writing ideas , I invited him to come over to Landless and share his expertise . ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Freemind is an easy to use and powerful tool for organizing your thoughts . Based on Tony Buzan 's Mind Mapping program , it allows for a non - linear and visual organization of information . While it may not be everyone 's cup of tea , it certainly offers some advantages for the writer who takes the time to learn the basics . While we 're on the subject , I wouldn 't recommend going much beyond the basics for the purposes discussed here . Doing so runs the risk of the program itself becoming the focus , rather than its use to organize and structure writing projects . We 'll look at a sample mind map I 've created called StoryMap . StoryMap is a tool that is focused on creative aspects of writing . A great deal of the craft of is built on imagination and research . The idea behind the StoryMap was to create a document that focused on these rather than the actual typing . In short , I wanted a way to separate the making things up , and the writing things down . This is what the blank copy of StoryMap looks like : Right about now the free - spirited and artsy - fartsy in the crowd are likely thinking ' No way man ! You establishment types can NOT force my creativity into a formula , man ! ' Well , hippie , repeat after me : Organization is not Fascism . This tool was developed to augment the creative flow , not restrict it . A lot of my writing time was actually spent figuring out character traits and plot ideas while trying to achieve word count . This resulted in a lot staring off into space , mumbling to the cats and not getting much on the page . The word : time ratio at the keyboard was abysmal . After a week or two of this , I realized that writing and typing are not necessarily the same thing . The mind mapping techniques allow for a separation of the non - linear ( making things up ) and linear ( writing things down ) tasks . If food analogies work for you , think about having all the ingredients at hand and the prep work done . Character traits sliced and diced , plot marinated over night , and the dialogue spices all measured out and waiting - Just turn on the stove , and go for it . AS IDEA CATCHER StoryMap allows for the filling in of what I determined to be some important blanks when creating a story . The nice thing about Freemind is that it plays nice with a handful of smart phone apps ( see resource section at the end of this post ) . Stuck in line at the bank or jealous of how that 45 minute train ride to work cuts into your writing time ? Make notes for a scene in act two , or jot down a character idea . Make that alleged down time count towards your story . Feeling burned out , or pressed for time ? Ease your creative guilt by adding to the StoryMap . You might not have the 3 hours you 'd like to sit down and write your masterpiece , but I bet you could find 10 minutes a couple times a day to add to the StoryMap . When you do find a few hours to write , you 'll have a deep well of ideas and notes to draw from . AS REFERENCE POINT Freemind allows for the embedding of documents and links . There are options to add icons , allowing for further customization . A lot of your info can be all in one place , and referenced quickly when organized by character , location , objects , etc . The ugly reality is not many of us have the luxury of countless hours to get things done . The visual paradigm of StoryMap allows for a quick scan of what 's done and what needs work , allowing you to choose a scene or chapter suitable to the time you have available . The content of StoryMap evolved as I learned about the writing process . It will continue to change because I 'm not done learning . If all goes well , I 'll never be done learning . I encourage you download Freemind and use StoryMap as a starting point , and modify it for your own use . Related Resources iPhone app - here 's the thing : I couldn 't find a Freemind compatible app with good reviews . There are equivalent mind mapping apps available for your perusal . I didn 't check them out - I 'm an Android kinda guy . He is currently at work on a time travel novella based on the Dewey Decimal System . Yeah , that 's right , that 's what he said - the Dewey Decimal System . All things Trev can be explored at trevormcpherson . info . Thanks , Trevor ! So , what do you think , everyone ? Could you use this ? Do you see advantages to doing an outline this way over a traditional " I . 1 . i . a . " outline in Word ? Does anyone have an iPhone app they 'd like to share ? Would you prefer a cuter , but more stripped down mind mapper like bubbl . us ? Anyone have any other experiences they 'd like to share ? How well do you think you could you integrate a mind map with the writing ? However , it 's been a bit of a pain in the neck . Minor inserts and scratchouts can be in the printed text , but anything larger needs a footnote and an expansive discussion on the left side . This means I reach over the printed pages to make the more extensive notes on the facing blank page . What happens as I reach around and over the rings , writing in between them and around them ? The ends of the sentences are crammed around the obstacles and my wrist is pinched and twisted . Granted , this wouldn 't be an issue for a left - handed writer , but for me , this was distinctly sub - optimal . Now , the story unfolds in proper sequence with the printed text on the LEFT side . The blank sides of the pages are on the RIGHT , so I can write on them with perfect ease and comfort . My handwritten notes directly refer to the text to be changed . The curator of art cleared his throat before speaking . " Your Majesty , we believe it to be a representation of a meteorite . If I may direct His Majesty 's attention to the herringbone pattern ? " The old man 's papery thin hand waved at the case , then withdrew as the monarch leaned forward for a closer look . " Yes , Your Majesty , in the century following . During the first decades of the twenty - first century , animal fibers were still occasionally used in weaving cloth . Some of the more traditional patterns were still in vogue . " " I see . " The Imperial eyes squinted . " Why is the meteorite covered in a pattern of a woven fabric derived from animal fibers ? I see now that it 's clearly a cavorite ore deposit . " The curator cleared his throat again , a slight sheen of sweat on his brow . " His Majesty may be gracious enough to forgive the foolishness of ancient artists . The proportions of the image suggest that this was not intended to be a scale - accurate representation of meteorite harvesting . " The lord of ten thousand suns frowned . " But this was done at about the same time as mankind first established the presence of cavorite in Oort cloud debris . It 's a perfect picture of cavorite extraction . The electron spindle , the sonocavitation focusing crystal , even the positron - matrix webbing around the meteorite , although why it 's cast in a herringbone pattern is a mystery . " The royal historian shifted slightly , a subtle invitation to be invited to speak . The monarch nodded to him and his said , " Your majesty , the first cavorite ore deposits were discovered in 2098 . This drawing dates from earlier in that century , possibly from as early as 2020 . " " Are you telling me it 's just a coincidence ? That this picture , which is a perfect representation of the cavorite extraction process , the heart of translight drive and the entire basis of our star empire , has no connection to it at all ? Rubbish . " He turned to the curator . " Relabel this exhibit . It is clearly an early schematic of a cavorite extractor . " The curator bowed low , his face hot and flushed . The Grammarian has been trying to crack the case of a series of high - tech crimes . He fears that the fate of Lexicon City hangs in the balance . Now , we join our hero in hot pursuit of his best lead yet . . . The Grammarian sped down rain - slick streets , the tires of his motorcycle sending a spray of oily water behind him . The car in front swerved to avoid a collision , but didn 't slow even a fraction . Throttle wide open , the Grammarian closed the distance with every passing second . The three men robbed a jewelry store , having disabled the alarms with a set of high - tech sonic negator probes . It was like using a jackhammer to crack a walnut , and the Grammarian knew that he was onto something big . This was the third set of criminals using technology way , way above their station , and he wanted to know who was behind it . From the rear window of the car , a shot exploded , sending a gout of yellow flame backwards . The superhero swerved , anticipating that the shot would go wild to the right . He stretched out his left hand to send a stream of sentence fragment memes forward , but releasing the brake caused him to skid on a slick spot in the road . Under his breath , the Grammarian cursed the necessity of using a motorcycle for this kind of pursuit . The rain didn 't bother his eyes or breathing - his projection field took care of that - but it made his traction less than reliable . He reached down and sprayed a cloud of metaphors at his tires . Instantly , the tiny packets of energy adhered to the rubber , causing them to stick to the pavement much better . Good thing sticky imagery is a transferable property , he thought . With a grin , he revved the engine higher and the bike leapt forward . Another shot from the gunman in the backseat of the getaway car , this time easily avoided . He was getting closer . Within another minute he 'd have them . They were headed toward the docks , and there would be nowhere left to run . With a tremendous crash , the car slammed through a nine foot chain - link gate , snapping it off its hinges . A jagged edged flap of galvanized wire arced towards the Grammarian , pivoting off the roof of the car . He reflexively augmented his strength as it sliced downward , gripping the fence and pushing upwards , forcing the wire away from his head . The Grammarian felt his skin tear as a sharp edge dug into his palm . You rotten jerks are going to pay for that , he thought , as his motorcycle slid under that torn fencing and spun out against a concrete pole . The Grammarian flipped through the air and landed in a tight rolling somersault , ending up on his feet ten feet from the bike . He ran to it , righted it and sped off after the car . His head throbbed with the effort of readjusting his balance of raw strength with agility and intelligence . The car pulled up at a warehouse near Pier 12 , one of the disused smaller piers from the bygone age of stevedores and break bulk cargo . With a roar , he approached the car and skidded to a stop . He leapt off the bike and landed in a fighting stance . He took a moment to survey the scene . Rushing into an ambush was a rookie mistake , as was entering the building the way the bad guys expected you to . Twenty - five feet up , a row of large windows , mostly broken and boarded up , looked like his best bet . He ran around the side of the building and withdrew a gas gun and climbing rope . The auto - guided projectile hooked a line onto the roof on the first shot ; he climbed upwards until he was parallel with the line of windows . The Grammarian forced his breathing into a regular pattern as he rappelled over until he could get a clear look in , taking care not to be silhouetted against the light . Within , all was quiet and dark . His quarry had the good sense to lay low and wait for a chance to flee . If he went in with all weapons blazing , that might be enough of an opening for them to escape via another entrance . From one of his vest pockets , the Grammarian took a handful of screamer mines . Each one was only about the size of a pea , but they would shriek at a hundred and fifty decibels if anyone passed by them . He scattered them in front of the doorway below , and the large loading dock doors , the only ways in or out of the building . He climbed higher so he could come into the window from above . The decrepit window would have moaned on its hinges had he not turned on his sound suppression field . It was an old trick , one of his standbys ; this wasn 't his first time breaking into a building . Once inside , he deactivated the field and listened . Under the right conditions , his super - hearing allowed him to discern a man 's heartbeat from a hundred paces . These conditions were terrible . The rain on the roof drowned out everything , even the tick of the car 's cooling engine was barely registering . He upped the night vision resolution of his visor until the scene before him was , if not as bright as day , at least navigable . There was no one in evidence . The warehouse was partly filled with large crates , newly packaged in green wood and fresh plastic . He dropped down from the ledge around the window frame . In mid - air , a hail of bullets ripped at him from the far part of the loading area . He spun , twisting his body to present the smallest possible target . One projectile tore the heel off his left boot , several tore through his cloak , tearing the stealth circuitry and sending showers of sparks in the darkness . Even before he was on the ground , the Grammarian sent a concentrated ball of memetic energy zinging through the air towards the corner where his assailants lay . The energy packet expanded mid - flight , becoming a huge net of interlocked subtending clauses , intermeshed and interwoven in a complex , tangled trap . Bullets passed through it as it flew , doing no damage at all . With a sound like a can being crushed , the net fell onto the machine gun nest . The gun kept firing , wildly now , up into the air , against the wall of the warehouse . The Grammarian crouched , nursing his torn hand and left ankle , twisted by by the force of the bullet 's impact . His verbal trap should have rendered the gunmen unconscious , bewildered by he complex linguistic memes of the net . The fact that the gun was still firing told him that it was , at best , a remote controlled weapon , or , at worst , an automated decoy that he 'd fallen for . High above him , near the roof , he could hear footsteps on the catwalk , moving fast . He ran across the floor , leaping and dodging around the thrashing weapon with its hail of gunfire . At the steps , he raced upwards three at a time . There ! The three men were ducking out onto a balcony . The Grammarian shot a beam of syllogisms , but missed . The verbal energy ray splashed against the wall , lighting it up like the fourth of July . " You can 't escape ! Stop ! " It was always strange to say such things , but he was frequently surprised by how effective it was while in pursuit . Criminals never stopped and let themselves be captured , but they often tried to call back some taunt or insult . Turning people 's words against them was a specialty , but in this case , he had no luck . Either the men were naturally less talkative than most criminals , or they 'd been trained to avoid saying anything where the Grammarian could use it . Ha ! I 've got you now , he thought . Zeroing in on their utterances , the Grammarian sent a shockwave of feedback racing back down towards the source of the speech . In a moment , they would have to eat their own words and , with the wind knocked out of them , picking up the pieces of this robbery would be simplicity . With less than a second to spare , he sensed that something was wrong . Whether it was a sudden drop in volume of the screamers or the sensation of a pressure wave building in front of him , his fighting instincts took over . He flipped upwards and over to the right , leaping out into the darkness , trying to coil into a tight ball . There wasn 't enough time to complete the move . A roaring blast crashed past him and slammed into the warehouse , tearing the balcony apart and sending the old high - lift crane spinning backwards through the roof of the building . The barest edge of the blast caught the Grammarian 's side with the force of a baseball bat swung by a pro . He stifled his cry of pain , but the shock of the impact disoriented him for a crucial instant . Lifted high into the air by the blast , spinning wildly , the Grammarian lost his orientation and could not tell which way he was falling . Through the tearing agony , he estimated that he had three seconds , perhaps four , before he slammed onto the pavement . In free fall , with nothing to project against , he could not slow his descent by adhering onto a wall or lamppost . He had only one option left . Desperately , he sent a cloud of allegory shooting from his gloves . The dragging air pulled on the cloud , giving him the barest possible moment to see the ground rushing up to him . He set his chest projector to wide beam and blasted out a single verb at maximum energy density . The word - sense meme " shove " pounded into the ground and sent him slanting sideways , tumbling and crashing along the concrete . He pushed up on his good hand and tried to control the tumble with a judo move . He was only partly successful , landing on his feet , but still badly disoriented . " So , it seems that you 've interrupted my henchmen just as they were in the middle of a an important job for me , ruining a certain amount of planning that I had , not only for the jewels they were supposed to be bringing back , but for them as well ! " The evil villain curtailed his flow of words with a blast from his weapon . A beam of reddish light flashed forward , surrounded by a nimbus of crackling memetic energy . The Grammarian made a staggering leap to the side as the incandescent pulse smashed into the crates behind him . Wood splinters exploded outward , stabbing through his cloak and showering him with debris . He flipped into a tight somersault and landed more or less on his feet , blurry - eyed and dizzy . When the hell had Professor Verbosity gotten so damned powerful ? He looked up and saw that the Professor was aiming the weapon at him again . This is my writing blog , which means you 'll find fiction ( short , medium and long ) , thoughts , ideas , experiments and other grammatically correct prose . The pages at the top will take you to my publications and samples of my writing . I 'd love to know what you think , so feel free to leave comments on anything you read . I retain ownership and copyright on this blog and everything it contains , perpetually , on any and all media , and throughout this and every other universe . Feel free to link to this blog , but please get my permission to reproduce or make extensive quotations of the material you see here . See that ? I said " please " . That 's me being polite . I didn 't have to do that . I could have said , " . . . or else I will use whatever eldritch magiks I can lay hands on so as to bind your plagiarist sins to your soul with bands of thorn and fire for the rest of all eternity . " I was polite . Please be so kind as to return the favor . - Tony Noland
|
One day , a man walked into the office of a literary agent . The agent glanced at him , closed the romantic comedy that he was reading , and look up . The man was an older gentlemen , dressed in clothing that lent him an air of elegance and sophistication without being ostentatious . " May I help you ? " The man paused , started to speak , and then pointed at the chair in front of the agent 's desk . The agent gestured , and the man sat . " I 'm looking for an agent for a book that I have written . It 's about a man and his quest . " The man - and at this point , he should properly be referred to as the author - the author leaned back slightly , and began to speak . It is the story of a man , a simple man , the owner of a bakery in a small town . He had chosen his career because of his fond recollections of the summers he spent with his uncle , and after twenty years of hard work , had achieved considerable success , but he remained unfulfilled , as he had never been able to duplicate the bread his uncle had made . He had invested considerable time and effort in this pursuit , building a separate kitchen and having an oven shipped from his uncle 's town , but to no avail . He could not help feeling that , despite all his material belongings , he was destined to remain in the shadow of his uncle 's superior skills . Sadly , his uncle died , and he travelled back to his uncle 's city . While visiting his aunt , she handed him a small , time - aged envelope with his name on it . Opening it , his eyes fell on his uncle 's handwriting , describing the recipe for the bread , the bread that he had been seeking to duplicate for so long . He was torn , torn between the pain of losing his uncle and the fulfillment of his quest . He returned home , and went on to nationwide acclaim . The agent gazed thoughtfully at the book occupying the bookshelves throughout the room , evaluating what he had heard . Thirty seconds passed in silence , and he spoke . " The ending is weak , but the basic story is good . It has a good chance of being a successful novel . " The author preened at the praise . The agent continued , " but , you said it was ' your story ' . Can you tell me , is this a true story ? " The agent replied , " I don 't deal with all kinds of books . Specifically , I don 't deal in naan - fiction " . Sep 16 , 2013 | 0 comments Passport2Pain 2013 ( edit : in the original version , I stated that Marcel was wearing the KoM jersey . I was , in fact , mistaken . Those responsible have been sent to bed without any beer . ) In my continuing quest to do stupid things , I signed up for the 2013 Passport2Pain . This ride is a fundraiser for the Vashon Island Rowing Club . Apparently , the club was sitting around one day and said , " let 's do a cycling ride to raise some money for the club " , and a plan was formed . They quickly agreed that the ride should be " hilly " , but were unable to agree which hills should be included . The impasse was finally broken when somebody suggested , " let 's just do all of them ! " . And the Passport2Pain was born . I confess that I am engaging in a bit of hyperbole . It does not include all the hills on Vashon Island ; a look at the course map shows that it skips at least two or three of them . To make the ride more accessible to those who are only slightly disturbed , they offer three different routes : I thought I would try something different , and actually do some training for this ride , so I 've been spending some time in the hills recently , including a trip up the ever - unpopular Montreaux - Zoo hybrid last weekend , and I also did a couple of hard 3500 ' HC climbs on my recent vacation . Having said that , I 'm not a natural climber , and I rode a little harder this week than I had planned , so - as usual - I 'm not really in the form that I would like to be . Stava says that my fitness is near 60 , which is pretty much my peak for the year , but it also says my fatigue is 60 , so my form is a neutral 0 . The Ride The ride starts at 8AM , and I want to start pretty close to that time , so I get up at 5AM . The start isn 't very far as the crow flies ( why is the benchmark a crow ? why not the pileated woodpecker ? ) , but there 's a ferry ride in the middle and I want to make sure I catch the ferry I want . A quick breakfast , I get dressed , and then I grab my riding bag ( a cloth shopping bag that holds my usual stuff ; shoes / helmet / gloves / arm & leg warmers / thin coat / booties / etc . ) , my food bag ( two baggies accelerade , tube of mixed Nuun flavors , cheese - its , garlic naan , shot blocks , two honey stingers , camera ) , and my water bottles ( Camelbacks ) , and head out to the car . It 's 5 : 53 , and there is a slight mist in the air . The trip there is mostly uneventful . I chat with some friends while waiting for the ferry about what is coming . I catch the ferry I want to catch , and get to the start at about 7 : 30 . I pull the bike out of the car , get it ready ( GPS , phone , wallet , keys , water bottles all in the right places ) , and proceed to have a discussion with myself about what I 'm going to wear . The ideal amount of clothing is such that you are just a tiny bit chilly when you start . If you wear too much , you get sweaty , and then you get colder . If you take it off , you are stuck trying to carry it around . I have a vest and coat that pack up very tiny , but I have pockets full of food , so I don 't want to take up the space . I finally settle on a pair of arm warmers , and ride over to the start area . During the Tour de France , the different leaders wear distinctive jerseys . The overall time leader wears the yellow jersey , the points leader wears green , the best your rider wears white , and the rider who has performed best on the climbs is " King of the Mountains " , and wears the understated polka dot jersey . The other big races of the year ( the Giro d ' Italia and the Vuelta de Espanaa ) use their own color codes . In the tour , possessing the jersey is an honor - some cyclists may go their whole career and ride many tours without ever wearing one of the jerseys . It is to be respected and not used frivolously . When somebody shows up in a polka - dot jersey at a hilly ride , it 's essentially stating " I 'm all that " , and a rider that chooses to do it should be able to back it up . Note that there is one exception to this guideline ; if , for example , you are a guy who weights 250 pounds and has a visible beer gut , you are allowed to wear the polka dot jersey because it is clear that you are wearing it ironically . I find out later that the rider wearing the kit was local rider and fellow Microsoftie Larry Beck . He finished in 5 : 18 , with an average speed of 15 . 2 MPH . I think that classes him as " doing the jersey honor " . Anyway , I lean my bike against a convenient trailer with rowing shells on it , wait in line to use the facilities , and then head to check in . To register for the ride costs $ 100 - which is a lot of money , even for a fundraiser - but the organizers have come up with an interesting way of making it accessible for those who have less free money . As we ride around , we will get our passports stamped , and at the end , you can get a $ 4 rebate on your registration fee . Hit all 18 checkpoints , and you can get $ 72 back , making the cost only $ 28 . Or , you can choose not to ask for the rebate . I have opted to go " all - in " ( no rebate ) , and the organizers have kindly given me a separate registration line . I pick up my course map , my passport ( in a ziploc because it 's going to live in a sweaty jersey pocket ) , and a single " P2P " sticker for the front of my helmet . About this time , the ride director calls us over for a rider meeting . He tells us that the course has a slight detour , missing one hill because of construction , but we can double one if we 'd like . He tells us about the roads ( not wide ) , the pavement ( poor in places ) , the descents ( windy ( as in " lots of turns " , not as in " lots of fast - moving air " ) ) , and the residents ( nice ) . He tells us how the start will work so we don 't put a huge group of riders on the road all together . Another benefit of those who went " all - in " on their donation is that we get to start first . There are a lot of us , so they will send out 5 riders every minute ( I think they could probably do it every 30 seconds and it would be fine ) . I have cleverly put my bike right near the front of the start group , so I roll out as the 10th rider on the road . My plan for the day is simple . I 'm going to ride the first section of the course , and then , when I get to the turnoff for the short course , I 'm going to do a quick evaluation of how I feel , and then decide . If I keep riding , I 'll make the same decision at the medium course . My * prediction * for the day is that I 'll do the short + medium sections and skip the last loop . But who knows - I might surprise myself . We head out , off the little Island where the start is , and head up our first hill ( all of 75 ' of climbing ) . I 'm spinning and trying to warm my legs up a bit . I worked out a little harder than I had planned the week before , but my legs feel okay . We end up on the main North / South road , and then turn off on our first descent , and at the bottom , find the first checkpoint . I get my passport stamped , and the little chinese character looks very lonely , one box filled on a page with 17 empty boxes left . We head up , and the pitch quickly increases to 13 % or so . I 'm running in my lowest gear ( 30 / 28 ) , and looking at the others around me , most people have chosen some form of mountain gear . The few that haven 't are in for a long day - or perhaps a short one if they only do part of the ride . The weather is misty up near the highway , and mistier when we 're down by the water . I 'm a little wet because of it , and my sunglasses have beads of water on them . It 's a little chilly on the descents . I believe this is known as " typical Vashon weather " . It 's back up to the highway , and a nice long fast descent . I 'm thinking that this won 't be too hard to climb back up . A bunch of riders at the turnoff make sure I don 't miss it , and I turn onto a curvy road that descends a bit more . I 'm looking to the left , searching for a checkpoint as the road bottoms . There is no checkpoint , but there is a nice steep hill in front of me . The garmin says 18 % as I stand to attack it . On the other side , we keep climbing away from the water , and finally top out at the top of a small climb at checkpoint # 2 ( bicycle stamp ) . We retrace our path and head north on the island . This is what I call a double ; the route to the checkpoint and back to the main route involves not one , but two separate climbs . Rest assured , dear reader , that I am not going to recount in detail the remaining 16 checkpoints for the ride . I think I could , but I 'm pretty sure we would both find it pretty boring . I will therefore just give you the highlights . At this point I hear a familiar voice , and find that it 's Jeanne , who rides with our group . We ride together for a while and chat , and then , on the next hill , her natural riding talent leaves me behind . I ride on . There is now a decision to make . One can continue on the ride , or one can call it a day , and head back to the start on the aptly - named " The Weenie " route . I 'm feeling fine , so I ride on . In the near future ( the whole day has mushed together in my memory ) , I do a hill that has my Garmin reading 20 % on the ascent . Soon afterwards , it gets scared and stops recording altitude all together ; it does not show the incline , nor is it recording altitude gained . Everything else is find - speed , cadence , power . I turn it off , turn it on again , and it starts working fine . More hills , more checkpoints . The checkpoints are all staffed by volunteers ; the stamping is typically done by young rowers ( which is what the money raised is for ) , with a few adults . They are uniformly pleasant , each of them ( the checkpoints , not the adults ) feature something slightly different to eat , and when they ( once again , the checkpoint ) have cookies , they ( this time it 's not the checkpoint , but the cookies ) are generally homemade , and quite tasty . Because there are so many of them ( checkpoints ) , I don 't really need two full water bottles , so I switch to just filling up one . I don 't need to carry an extra pound up these hills . We are now riding a curvy road ( well , it 's more of a glorified goat track ) that winds through the woods between the trees , and we come to a small sign that says , " Here is where P2P turns ugly " . Most of the hills we 've climbed feature sections from 13 - 15 % in gradient , and I am pleasantly surprised when I 'm only climbing a 9 - 10 % grade . And we 've already seen some grades right about 20 % . I wonder what " ugly " is going to mean ; I 've heard people talk about the " Burma Road " section , and I 'm hoping this is it so we can get it over with . We turn the corner , and find out . I 've heard several hills referred to as " the wall " : I start the climb . I am in my lowest gear , and I end up standing and tacking back and forth to keep going forward . I watch the gradient numbers on my garmin spool up , and as they hit the mid - 20s , I think " okay , 25 % , I could believe that " . Then they just keep going up , ending up at 39 % . The hill is steep - super steep - but I think the tree cover was messing with the Garmin , so I 'm going to say 25 % , and be done with it . There is more than one person walking their bike up it . This hill is followed by another that is just as bad . If any hill qualifies the " wall " designation , these qualify . And , so it continues . At one point , I think we 're heading down towards the ferry dock , which makes me happy , because the climb up from the ferry dock is supposedly only 9 - 10 % , but then we turn off to the West , and descend down another way . The way up features another honest 20 % . And another hill , and then we ride back into town . I run into my friend Joe outside of the bakery . We talk briefly , but I 'm not very social on long rides . I lead Tue / Thu nights , and when I 'm riding on the weekends I 'd generally prefer not to have to deal with people much . There are two things I need . I need a bathroom - which I find behind the very busy farmer 's market - and I need some caffeine . I buy a diet coke ( the fructose in real coke gives me stomach cramps ) from the Thriftway and stand outside , chugging it down . While I am there , I am approached by a bee asking me if I know how to identify GMO foods . It is possible that it was a * person * dressed in a bee , but given my mental state at the point , I can 't make a definitive determination . I head out again , and the liquid and caffeine have helped me quite a bit , and I feel pretty good . My legs - which were hurting quite a bit after the Burma road section - have calmed down a bit , and the hills here seem to be content to limiting themselves to the 13 % range or so . We do one section here ( or perhaps it 's before town , things are a bit hazy ) where , at the checkpoint at thThere is only one checkpoint left . We start climbing , and it 's rolling , with a 10 % base grade and short little uphills in the 14 - 15 % . I see a sign to turn left , and as I get closer , I see a joyous sight ; a car , and a group of riders standing around , which means this one is not going to be another double . A minute or so after this , Kevin pulls in , and we get our pictures taken in front of a vintage TdF climb picture holding a crystal cup . I eat a brownie . Then it 's a nice fast descent , a bit of spinning , and we 're back at the finish , where I pick up my finisher 's packet , eat a burrito that I would rather forget , and drink a mexican coke ( sugar , not HFCS ) . And here 's the proof : It was nuts . Truly nuts . As you can see , it 's there is perhaps 5 miles of flat ( ish ) the whole ride . I count 22 major climbs , and virtually all of them have sections in the 13 % range . If you have done 7 hills , think of the worst hills on that ride - Seminary and Winery - and now think of doing each of them 11 times , except that some of them are steeper than either of those climbs . I felt pretty strong most of the way through - stronger than I 've felt on a long ride the whole summer . Part of it was the weather ; the cool definitely agrees with me . I also think that I ate more than I have in the past , and that helped out as well . Organization and logistics Overall , the logistics around the ride were excellent . The yellow signs were clear in most cases , and it was nice not having to look for Dan Henry 's on the road . The food was good at the checkpoints , and there was nice variety . The volunteers were all helpful . 9 / 10 , would ride again . The parking situation was a bit confusing . It would be nice to have something salty at the checkpoints and / or salt to put on the potatoes . The yellow P2P signs were very visible , but the arrows on them were hard to read until you got pretty close to them . I would prefer the arrows at the top of the sign , and either on the left , center , or right part of the sign , meaning left , straight , or right . After a 6 - day guided tour along the coast in California , I found myself at my sisters house in Walnut Creek ( east of Oakland ) with my bicycle and riding gear , and remembered that she lives near a pretty major climb - Mount Diablo . I borrowed my wife 's laptop ( I was deliberately laptop - free on the trip ) , did some research on some bike forums , mapped out a route in ridewithgps . com , downloaded it to my Garmin , and got ready . The next day , I got up early to avoid the usual heat , and found that it there were scattered clouds and it was in the low 60s . Perfect . There are two entrances to the park ; a north one , and a south one . I chose the north one because it 's regarded as the harder way up ( I 'm not likely to have the opportunity to do it again in the near future ) , and because the road that I rode to get to it is a better choice early in the morning . The climb from this side is 11 . 1 miles and 3448 ' of climbing , a nice HC segment and the second one I 've done in four days . The weather is still cloudy , which makes the climb cool . There 's an easy 2 - 3 % section at the start , and then the climb settles down in the 6 - 7 % range . I climbed pretty fast a few days ago and I quickly settle at about 220 watts and a heartrate in the low 150s . I pass a guy that is much slower than me , get passed by a guy much slower than me , and wind back and forth up the switchbacks . There is no other traffic ; I don 't see a single car for this whole section . It 's peaceful but the pace is fairly hard ; mindful of the length of the climb I 'm trying to keep up with my Nuun and eating some cheese - its now and then ( they are my new cycling wonder food ) . Eventually , I hit the ranger station where the north and south road meet the summit road ; I hop off for a quick break and , clued in by the internets , walk around the back of the building to refill my water bottles . I 'm about halfway . I head out , read and ignore the sign that says , " HEADPHONES IN BOTH EARS ILLEGAL " , and start up . It 's sunny now , but really not very hot . This section is about the same as the earlier section , and I settle back into a groove . It 's more crowded because of the people who come up the south side ( which , in addition to being easier , is considered to be easier to get to from BART ) , and I pass one rider , and then a group of four . A guy slides up next to me , says " cool paint job " ( my bike has is a Trek ProjectOne ) , I speed up a tiny bit to talk to him about it , but after about two minutes tell him that I need to slow down because I can 't hold his pace . He apologizes for making me ride too hard , and rides ofThe road is either 15 or 20 MPH on the way down . I hadn 't noticed it on the way up , but it 's a pretty curvy road ; some sections are easy to do at 25 , but you are going to be slowing down to the speed limit pretty frequently and you will be on your brakes for quite a while . One car waves me by on the way down ( it 's easier to be fast here on a bike than in a car ) , and I descend down to the ranger station . I turn to the south this time , and descend down that section . I 'm following the route on my GPS , when the path suddenly veers off , but the road keeps going straight . I stay on the road , and can tell it 's the right road by the trickle of cyclists heading towards me . I 'm soon back in the neighborhoods , and I stop to figure out where I am . The route seems to be clipped off , heading straight back rather than following the route I designed . I think it 's probably a designed - in limitation in RideWithGps . I spent some time looking at the route this morning , and am sure quite that I can 't make all the turns I need to makme , but I also know that if I just head west , I 'll eventually run into bike trail , and I know how to get back from there . I turn in the direction I want to go and head off . Eventually , I ride into Danville , and under the 680 , and I pick up the trail and ride back . There 's a final 15 % climb up into the neighborhood , and then a nice 20 % driveway , and I 'm done . A very nice ride . I lucked out on the weather , the climb itself was the right level of challenge ; the only thing I didn 't really enjoy was having to use my brakes a lot on the descents ; I 'm spoiled by the long fast descents around Mount Rainier . My second HC ascent in four days , and my second Strava Extreme rating . 217 watts for 90 minutes . A great way to spend the morning . Strava link . A few years ago - when the offspring was younger - the three of us did a couple of family multi - sport bicycling tours through Bicycle Adventures . We enjoyed them thoroughly , and early this summer , the wife and I were talking about the a summer vacation , and decided to do an adult - only bike tour ( the offspring works the whole summer and then heads back to school ) . After checking into a few options , we decided to do the Monterey to Santa Barbara Wine Country Biking tour offered by Backroads . This was close enough - California - that we could drive down , which would allow us to drive down , bring our own bicycles ( we both like our bikes , and I have a PowerTap on mine ) , and visit my sister in Walnut Creek on both ends of the trip . The trip is billed as one of their " Premium Inn " trips , and priced accordingly ( though none of them are cheap ) . My well - known cheap ( I might choose " frugal " ) nature means that I 'm not big into the premium hotel experience , but it was one of the best fits for our schedule . We drove down over a couple of days , stopping in Klamath Falls for a night . I our younger and stupider days , we probably would have driven all the way through ( 13 - ish hours ) . In the following , all names except for the wife 's will be initials , to protect the innocent . Day 1 - Monterey to Carmel We left Walnut Creek early ( as both of us hate being late ) to the Hotel Monaco in San Francisco , the starting point of the trip . My sister dropped us off there ( thanks Sis ) , and we put the wheels back on the bikes ( two bikes fit in the back of an outback if you take the wheels off ) and headed into the hotel . We quickly ran into other people going on the tour , so we talked , and we waited , and then we waited some more . Ten minutes after the scheduled departure time , and the backroads vans finally showed up . Our bikes were quickly loaded on top of the vans ; I 'm a bit paranoid about our bikes because it 's easy to damage carbon frames , but there were no issues throughout the trip . Backroads uses this neat system where they strap a tray to the bike , and then the tray slides into rails on the vans and trailers . This means they can do all the loading from the ground . Slick . We head out towards Monterey , and there 's not much to say except that it took a 3 + hours to get there . We get to know our companions ( which included two other couples from the Seattle area ) , and then finally pull into Monterey and pick the remainder of our tour members . After a few wrong turns , we end up at our lunch spot in veteran 's park near the top of a hill . The other van is already there , and we join the rest of the group standing in clumps on the grass . I 'm hungry and thirsty = = > cranky , and it isn 't helped by the smell of the roast pig cooking in a pit about 40 ' upwind of us . Eventually , our leaders call us over to where they have lunch set up . While I looked at the food , the group did introductions all around . I think the demographics were pretty typical ; people who could think about at least a couple of hours on a bicycle each day and could afford a guided tour . We weren 't the youngest people there , but we were pretty close . Since I 'm just before the half - century mark , it 's not that common that I 'm at the younger end of groups . The food , when we finally got to it , was good - there was a nice variety of stuff , and it all tasted great . I 'll save some time here and note that the lunches were fine all the way through , though I would like to see more drink options . I didn 't eat too much at this lunch because I don 't ride that well on a full stomach . Kim and I have had some discussions about what our philosophy is about riding together on the trip . Kim is in good shape and is quite athletic , but doesn 't do the kind of bike riding that I do , so I 'm quite a bit faster than she is . We decided to take it on a day - by - day basis ; some days we will ride together , some days we will ride part of the day together , some days we will ride separately . There is in particular one mountain climb that I 'm sure she won 't be interested in . After lunch , we get a safety briefing , and then a briefing about the route . I have the GPX files on my Garmin Edge 705 plus the paper directions , so I think we 'll be fine . I get a few things from the snack table ( lots of fruit / sweet stuff , very little carb / salty stuff ) - some pretzels , a bit of jerky , put some Nuun tablets in my bottles ( Grape in one , Tangerine / Lime in another ) , roll my bike out to the road . We mount up , and head out , up the 10 % + grade . This is a bit of a surprise on my legs , and I think it 's more of a surprise for the other cyclists , but we slowly climb out of the park . I wait for Kim at the top ( well actually , I ride up and down a couple of times ) , but after a bit she joins me , we walk our bikes down a connecting path , and end up on the road we 're looking for . I do enjoy the descent part the follows , and after a few miles , we find ourselves out near the water , which gives us a very nice view , so we take a bit of a break and a snack . The pretzels end up being peanut butter - filled , which is not to my taste , so I have a bit of jerky . We 're not riding far enough for nutrition to be an issue . Along the way , I 've been sampling the contents of my main water bottle , which contains the tangerine - lime flavor . At the stop , I share it with Kim , who describes it as " a tangerine that has been sitting out long enough to get fuzzy " . My description is " Possum , with subtle Meerkat undertones - the terroir suggests one raised on an east - facing slope slightly North of Yakima " . It 's quite nasty - I switch over tWe continue to wind around through the World - Renowned Pebble Beach Golf Course on 17 mile road . The scenery is great , and we are catching some interesting odors coming off the vegetation - there 's this sharp astringent one which I can 't quite place but is very refreshing , and there 's another one that I decide is best described as " used sweatsock with a haddock in it " . Coincidentally , we did this exact drive on a visit a few years ago , and it 's a lot nicer on a bike . Eventually , we hit the Carmel exit gate ( I toy with calling " Care - a - mel " for a while ) , and climb up a significantly steep hill , turn , and climb up another steep hill to the hotel , the Tradewinds Carmel . It 's a nice place with a great inside courtyard between the buildings , but apparently they do not attract a particularly intelligent clientele , and therefore need to lead said guests to their room and explain recent innovations such as light switches , closets , natural - gas fireplaces , and the existence of indoor plumbing . I turn off the fireplace , turn off the water feature on the dresser near the door , and we settle in . Dinner is at a nice restaurant nearby and I enjoyed the food and company , and my notes tell me that I was most impressed by the ice cream and sorbet I had for desert . It 's really a bit more food that I would like to eat , but it 's harder to eat well when it 's already paid for ( most meals are covered in the price of the trip ) . After a quick breakfast ( raison bran / toast / HB egg , which is just about perfect ) , we head out for the morning briefing . This is a pretty straightforward route down the coast , but I have decided to add in a pointless nasty climb along the way , one with advertised 18 % and 20 % climbs . There are three of us who decide to do this . I ride with wife through a bunch of turns back onto the highway and then head out , along with E ( L1 , who had also decided to do the climb , is not in this group ) . We roll along , and ride past the Point Lobos side trip . After a bit of discussion , we decide to keep riding on . Because it 's a longer day and navigation mode really sucks the battery on my Garmin , I 'm not using it ( this is a bit of foreshadowing ) . After 13 miles , we stop by one of the ride leaders parked with the van , E drops off her coat , and we have a small snack . The ride leader asks us how far we have done , we say " 13 miles " ( well , I say it , because the cyclometer on E 's bike is only counting about 1 / 3 of the distance , so she says " 4 miles " ) , and our ride leader says that she thought she went 15 miles . We pull out , and keep riding . The route sheet says that we will be turning off on " Palo Colorado " at 19 miles . We do some climbing , and at about 17 miles we come to some bridge construction and a one lane road . We wait for traffic to go by , and then follow it up the hill through the construction zone . This is at the crest of a climb , so we descend down , looking for our turn - off , but we don 't see anything . Then we climb a bit , and descend some more . We investigate a possible road at 21 miles , but that 's not it . At 23 miles , it 's pretty clear that we 've missed the turn . A brief confab ensues ; if we continue on , we will be at lunch ( which is on our own today ) super - early . I 've told Kim that I will eat lunch with her and E is up for some extra mileage , so we decide to go back , which leads to a 4 - mile climb into a very stiff headwind . This is not a lot of fun ; I 've pushed my heart - rate way up , and have just decided to hold it there to the top . We finally get back to the construction , where they are pouring concrete and are totally shut down . We roll to the head of the line , sweet - talk the flagger into letting us go first when they do open it up ( " it 's downhill , we won 't hold up traffic " ) , and 15 minutes later , head back . Descending , I see Kim on the other side , turn briefly ride with her to tell her we 're going back but I 'll still meet her for lunch ( yeah , that doesn 't make much sense at this point ) , and we head back . Finally , after 7 miles of backtracking and about an hour late , we turn off on the Palo Colorado . It 's a small one - lane road through dense woods , up and down over little hills ( hillets ? ) and back and forth through the trees . All along the side , there are lots of tiny cabins . It 's mostly been relatively easy - about a 5 % grade with lots of short steeper parts . After about twenty minutes of this , we get to the first steep pitch , which starts at 11 % , kicks up to 15 % , and then gets nasty . I 'm in my lowest gearing ( 30 / 28 IIRC ) , and I 'm tacking all the way across the road . It 's an honest 20 % grade , perhaps a tick higher . And it 's in full sunlight , there 's no breeze here , and whenever I get to the right side of the road , a guy hands me another rock to carry to the top . A few minutes later , I finish and rest in the shade ; E finishes 30 seconds later , heads over to the fire station to ask for some water , meets a nice fireman , and comes back with water . As we are sitting there , one of our vans heads by ; I put out a fist in the " please stop " sign , and the van just goes right by . We don 't need the water and I think we 're mostly okay on food , but since we 're off the original plan it would be nice if our leaders knew what we were doing , but whatever … At this point , the road descends a little , but unfortunately the daily instructions do not include the profile of the route , so we don 't know how much descent there is in store here . The descent tips up to about 15 % , I stop and ask E if she wants to climb back up it on the way back . The consensus is " no " , so we turn around . The 20 % slope is a pain to descend , and the road through the woods is dark and torn up , so we have to come down pretty slowly . Eventually , we hit the highway again , and head south . ( Later on , we talk to L1 , who found the turn , but ended up turning back before the end because of huge swarms of bugs , so apparently we didn 't miss much ) . At this point , I want to fly a bit so that I can meet with Kim for lunch ( or , more realistically , not be super late ) . We get back to the construction zone , where the workers are on their lunch break , so traffic is on automatic with traffic lights . We wait until the traffic goes through , then as the light turns red , a worker waves us through . I climb hard uphill , but I 'm only about two - thirds of the way through before there is traffic coming towards me . I move to the side for one car to pass , and then find a bit of shoulder to wait for the rest to pass me by . E has to get off her bike and walk to get up to me , and we journey on . Just a little bit of extra fun . We then get to do the descent with the tailwind again , and we make good time , pass our previous forward point , and continue on . Things get a bit hazy here - the hard ride back into the wind and the tough climb have taken a bit out of me - but after quite a while , we roll into Big Sur ( literally , " Big south " ) , and stop by the van and some of the other riders at a restaurant . In the morning , Kim and I decided we would meet for lunch at the Bakery , which is a bit farther on ( this is a " on your own for lunch " day ) . Though it wasn 't really made clear in the morning briefing , on the way to the bakery there is a significant hill ; 500 ' at a steady 7 % gradient , and I 'm hungry and cranky . WeI 'm ready to apologize to Kim for being so late , but she was visited twice by the flat fairy , and has only been waiting there for about 20 minutes . We order sandwiches , and while sandwich is on fresh bread , it isn 't particularly memorable . After lunch , Kim , E , and I head back down the hill a bit to a road that takes us to Pfeiffer beach . At the parking lot , we run into guide J with a van , waiting to shuttle a couple of riders up to the hotel . We leave our bike under his watch , on the agreement that he 'll be heading back as soon as the other riders are ready to leave . Since Kim is going to van up as well , I 'm not sure why we have to hurry back , but apparently that 's what we have to do , so we head out to the beach - which is very nice , and well worth the trip - but we only stay about 10 minutes so that we can get back . E and I grab our bikes , and start the climb back out . With the exception of one 17 % section right at the end , the climb to the highway is pretty easy , and we head back up the hill towards the bakery . That part is easier than the first time ( the sandwich has helped quite a bit ) , and we keep climbing until we hit the entrance to the hotel . We 've been told about the steep climb there , and we climb up that to the restaurant , only to have to descend a bit to cross a small gulley for the final climb up to the Ventana Inn . We pull in , drop our bikes off , and check in . I head off to meet Kim , who is already here . Given that Big Sur has been a counter - culture mecca ( interesting combination of terms there … ) since the 60s , I expected it to be a bit different and it did not disappoint . The rooms are in separate cabins and the one we were in ( Ridge House ) was built out into the canyon , so it 's a bit like being in a rustic but luxurious treehouse . After I cleaned up , the wife and I headed to the Japanese hot baths ( the eastern ones , not the clothing - optional ones on the west end ( not that there 's anything wrong with that ) ) , and spent a bit of time soaking . Nice . I feel better . For dinner , we walked over to the restaurant . We aren 't eating as a group tonight , but the dinner is included , so we just show up . We got the four - course menu which normally runs $ 70 / person . The meal was underwhelming ; our appetizers were meh , the risotto that I waited nearly an hour to get wasn 't fully cooked and was therefore gritty ( this is not rocket science to get right ) , and the chicken entrée that Kim got paired very bland white meat with a still - raw thigh section . The cobbler for desert was okay . I had originally planned on recommending the Inn but not the restaurant , but then I happened to see the room price on the website , and I think that even with Big Sur prices , you can do probably do better than $ 800 / night . Distance 31 miles with 3700 ' 16 miles with 2300 ' 11 miles with 1000 ' Kim is going to play this by ear ; she 'll ride the first section , and then decide what to do with the later sections when we get to lunch . The logistics required us to check out of the hotel , walk over to the restaurant with all of our riding stuff , van back to the hotel ( to save time ) , and start riding . This was more convoluted than it needed to be , but we ate our okay breakfast buffet , and headed down to start riding at 8 : 30 . I rode with E and L2 on this section , and working together , we rode the first section to lunch in just over two hours , getting there at 10 : 40 . When we arrived , we got told " Lunch isn 't ready yet , you 'll need to wait , it isn 't scheduled to start until noon , but it will take at least 20 minutes until its ready " . I take a quick look at my Garmin , and see that the morning only had about 2200 ' of climbing in in , which is about what it felt like . Since lunch isn 't ready , we walk out to the beach to look at the water , we sit in the sun to warm up , we talk , and by about 11 : 20 lunch is ready . We eat , I talk to Kim a bit when she rolls in , and she says that she is going to van the next section but hopes to ride the last section . I tell her that I will wait for her there , and we ( E , L2 , and I ) head out to the really tough section . These are real climbs ( 6 % on the first one , 7 - 8 % on the second ) , but the weather is decent and they only total around 1200 ' in total , so it 's really not that bad . I crest the top of the second climb in the lead ; E rolls in about 30 seconds later , and L2 about a minute after that . I have cleverly deduced that this is the top of the second climb by the spray - painted mark on the side of the road that says ( " all downhill from here " ) , and , after another quick snack , we roll down to the second stop at Ragged Point . I trade $ 2 . 50 for a small Coke Zero and settle in to snack on dry - roasted peanuts and wait for Kim while E and L2 head off on the last part of the ride . Kim shows up about 20 minutes later , waits for her bike to come off the van , and then we head out on the last section . I 'm expecting that I 'll be doing the ride leader thing and spending my time breaking the wind for this last section . There 's a nice descent and then the road is flat to rolling , and we are making good time . We take a short break to rest on the beach : And discover that we are making good time because there 's a consistent 15 MPH tailwind . The road is new chipseal and is pretty rough , we stop to let some air out of our tires and it 's much better . Our tires had gotten pumped up by our leaders at some point . Though I 'm not sure in retrospect because it 's very hard to judge pressure by how the tires feel , I thought at the time that they were about 120psi . We barely miss the turn to the hotel , turn around , ride a bit next to the water , and pull into the hotel . We chill out on their decklet while we wait for the bags to make it to our rooms , then Kim and I take a walk on the boardwalk before dinner . Dinner is in town and very good ; I have an excellent heirloom tomato salad with arugula and peaches , a very nice duck breast , and chocolate for desert . I plan to eat only half the chocolate and fail at this completely . Distance Today will be a transition day ; after breakfast we will get in the vans to skip some boring country , and head into the interior wine country , starting out in Los Alamos . No , not that one , this one . We get there , get everybody unloaded , and head out . Today it 's about 20 miles to lunch , and then another 15 to the hotel - or , if you want more distance , you can ride more in the afternoon . We are about 5 miles into the ride when we come across a guy standing outside his truck , and he tells us that there is a rocket launching in a few minutes out of Vandenberg AFB , a Delta 4 Heavy carrying a classified payload ( this means " spy satellite " ) . They launch out of Vandenberg because they need a polar orbit , and that puts the launch track over the ocean . This is currently the biggest operational US booster , though the upcoming SpaceX Falcon Heavy will launch about double the payload . He 's a bit off on the launch time , and most of the group heads out to ride , but we figure out the right time through the wonder of smart phones , and a few minutes later we get to see the launch , and , a few minutes after that , we can hear the low rumble of the engines . At 15 miles away , it 's not as intense as the shuttle launch I took the offspring to a few years back , but it 's still great to see , and it 's Kim 's first launch experience . With the unplanned festivities out of the way , we head off to climb the first hill , which is a bit of a bear . Both Kim and I are having trouble with the heat , but eventually , we reach the top , get some more water from our van , and continue . We 're only able to ride for short stretches of time before I get too hot , so we ride for a few minutes , rest in the shade , and continue this pattern as we slowly climb to our lunch stop . I am really not having fun in the heat , and at lunch it 's pretty clear that I 'm not going to do more than the 15 remaining miles to get to the hotel . After a nice lunch , a bit of liquid , and modicum of procrastinating , we head out , start climbing again , and soon hit a steep 200 ' hill , followed by a descent , and another 200 ' hill . I 've been riding on ahead on the hills and while waiting for Kim and the top of the second one , I feel something hit my hand , brush it away , and end up with a bee sting on my left inde36 miles Today is a day I 've been looking forward to for a while . The plan for today is simple ; we - and by " we " , I mean the nutcases in the group - E , L1 , and I - are going to climb Figureroa mountain , a 4534 ' summit , while others in the group take a more leisurely trip through the countryside , stopping to sit in the shade and taste a nice Syrah . We head out a few ticks after 8AM so that we can get as much riding as possible before the heat gets bad , and after 8 miles of warmup , we turn onto Happy Canyon Road . After a 7 mile intro which is pretty in a " horse ranch " sort of way ( and not pretty in the " lots of cattle guards " way ) , we hit the meat of the first climb , which will take us 1200 ' up over the next 3 miles . The grade kicks up to 6 % , then kicks up to 8 - 9 % . I ride with L1 and chat , and while it 's not what I would describe as cool , it 's not hot yet and it 's mostly in the shade , so it 's okay , and the pavement is just a few years old and in great shape . We hit the crest ( or , perhaps I should say , the first crest … ) and begin working ourselves up the sunny side of the ridge . Then , not unexpectedly , something happens to the pavement . We refill our water bottles from our handy support van ( I 've gone through about a bottle and a half so far ) , and tackle the unpaved section . It 's pretty rocky in places , so we work back and forth , picking our way for the line that is the least rocky and we make steady progress , finally coming to a steep section without a great line . I stand up very gingerly , try my best not to pedal smoothly , but still spin the rear up a couple of times . No harm and no flats , however , which makes us all happy , and we hit the top . We descend about 300 ' into the next canyon . We start to climb gently through some woods , pass over a couple of very minor steam crossings , pick up some really annoying bugs , and then the climb begins in earnest . The grades are in the 12 - 13 % range , we 're in the full sun , and there is no breeze here . I try to hang with L1 for a few minutes , but my heart is making a thumpity - thump sound that tells me I should back off a bit . I tack back and forth gently to reduce the grade a bit , and continue to progress at about 6MPH in my lowest gear . In two miles , we climb about 900 ' , which doesn 't sound that bad - only about 9 % average - but it includes my tacking back and forth , so it 's more like 11 % + . I finally hit the saddle ( Cachuma Saddle , as the next picture tells me ) where L1 is waiting , and E rolls in a minute or so afterwards . We take a few minutes to rest and hydrate , and then it 's time to tackle the final pitch . I 'm in reasonably good spirits ; I know there 's a lot of climbing left , but we 're out of the " Happy Canyon " now and there 's a hint of a breeze . We head out ; L1 in the lead , me in the middle , and E in the back . L2 soon pulls away ; I 'm having trouble with the heat and just can 't climb any faster . After a few minutes , I come to this sign : As I put my camera away , E rides around the corner , and I decide that it makes more sense to slow down a hair and ride with her than try to keep my pace . We are not climbing back and forth under a peak , we are working our way along a very broad ridge , which means we keep finishing one section only to turn the corner and discover there is yet another section . This happens at least 10 times along the climb , so we just climb and climb and climb some more . The surface isn 't great , but it 's fine for the speed we are travelling , and there is no other traffic out here . The gradient ranges from 8 to perhaps 13 % , though at this point , I 'm not paying much attention to my gps , and I can 't read it very well anyway because some of my sweat dripped on it and there 's a crystalline river of salt running diagonally across it . We have been told there 's a steep section near the top , and as I near a gate that I hope is the start of that section , I stop so that we can " take a picture " , but it 's really to rest up before that last push . And it turns out the last section is only about 12 % and not very far at all , not really much of a final challenge . The section is punctuated by our support van driver catching up and passing us , with " Eye of the Tiger " blaring from the speakers . We turn the corner and stop at the top . It 's was a hard climb , but I feel pretty good at it ; the heat did slow me down a bit but I was pushing 200 + watts pretty much the whole way , which is about 20 % more than I pushed up Cayuse on RAMROD , and it is hotter here . Left to right : E , Professor Snuggles , L1 We ride this very gingerly , but it doesn 't last for very long , and we are soon back to pavement that is mostly clean . Unfortunately , it 's pretty badly patched up in places , as steep as the side we came up , and just as curvy , so we aren 't able to go down it very fast ; I hit 30 MPH at one spot , but most of it is at 20MPH , and there are a bunch of curves that require < 15MPH . Oh , and the random cattle guard , which is way more fun at 15MPH that 6 MPH . We spend a lot of time on our brakes , and have to stop twice to let our hand muscles uncramp . Not really the kind of descent you 'd choose to have , but eventually we cruise down to the flat part of Figueroa Mountain Road , and we pull up to the van for one last water break . On the other side of the road , we see this : This is the entrance to Neverland Ranch . People drive ( or ride , I suspect ) out here to have their pictures taken , but it 's just a gate . We head out , and ride the rest of the route back into Los Olivios , and then out to our lunch spot at a vineyard . While I 'm there , I take a quick picture of my helmet . Yes , I am a salty sweater . Today we just have time for a quick morning ride before we check out and head to Santa Barbara and other places . This features a short climb at the start , and then a nice 1 - 2 % downhill for quite a while through farms and vineyards . That part was very nice , then we climbed a short hill into Solvang which adopted Dutch architecture after WWII , and now has a decidedly quasi - Dutch feeling . Interestingly , in the late 1950s , a couple visited Solvang and decided that adopting an approach would work well for their town , which Washingtonians know as Leavenworth . My impression is that Leavenworth does it a bit better . If you 've ever ridden on an organized ride and followed markers painted on the road , you can thank Dan Henry for that . A quick spin back to the hotel , shower , and we 're back in the vans heading to Santa Barbara airport , where Kim and I will get a rental car and head back to my sister 's house in Walnut Creek . Distance It was a pretty good trip ; the time we spent along the coast was really nice , in climate , in challenge , and in sights . I was less excited about the wine country section ; I 'm not a big wine drinker / taster at any time , and really not into stopping at wineries while on a ride , but I did get to spend a really good day on a serious mountain climb , which was nice , plus a rocket launch . A bit too hot for me , however . Recently , my wife and I went on this guided tour . You can find my tour writeup here . The tour was 6 days long ; a half - day at the start , four full days in the middle , and a half - day at the end . It 's really two separate rides ; the first half is along the coast , and the second half is inland in wine country . High points I loved all the riding along the coast , with the possible exception of a small sidetrip that wasn 't great but which we were amply warned about . The views were breathtaking , and travelling it on a bicycle is much more immersive than doing it in a car . And we had a tailwind for most of the section . The riding options were a reasonable compromise for the more and less experienced cyclists ; I was able to find most of the challenge I wanted , and my wife was able to have a good time as well . We could ride some sections together and some sections apart . The riding in the wine country was a little less exciting overall ( well , I just like the coast scenery better ) and was much hotter , but it did feature a hard mountain climb option , and that was a good choice . All of the places that we stayed were fine . They were a little higher - end than my typical preference ( due to my well - known frugality ) , but it is billed as a " Premium Inn " tour , and it does live up to that . The food was good to excellent , with some great usages of local ingredients , with the exception of one dinner at the Ventana Restaurant , which managed to disappoint in both food and service . Low points We had heard in the past that there was a bit of attitude associated with the Backroads folks , and I 'm sorry to say that it was true . After being introduced into the ride food table and being told to ask if there was anything we wanted that wasn 't there , I asked for some cheese - its , only to be told that " we don 't usually get that because most people don 't think they 're healthy " . On one morning , we left as scheduled at 8 : 30PM , and when we rode the 31 miles to lunch in just over 2 hours , we were told that " lunch is scheduled to be ready until noon " . Most of the interactions were fine , but these are a bit annoying , because there were much better ways to handle the situations . There was also this weird thing where we had two ride leaders and one part - time ride leader ; the implication was that the part - time one wasn 't there to help us but was there to help out the main ride leaders . I don 't really understand the arrangement , nor do I understand telling the guests about it in the way they did . The first day was a bit uneven . The Backroads folks showed up late to the hotel that we were departing from , and when we got to our lunch destination , they sent us out to stand in the sun on a grassy spot while they set up lunch , pulled all the bikes down , and set up the ride snack table . Then we had to do introductions before we could eat . It would have been nice to have something to drink while we were waiting , and they could have put the introductions after lunch . Then , the ride starts with a steep climb up out of the park where we had lunch . Not really a very kind introduction for people who don 't really ride that much . Things got better after that , but there were still a few hiccups along the way . I missed a turn with another rider on the second day , which was mostly our fault , but I think they could have anticipated the mistake that we made and given us a bit more help not making it . There was a big climb at the end of that day that really didn 't get talked about during the ride briefing . As a serious cyclist , there were a few additional things that bothered me . My tires got pumped up ( great ) , but I think the inflation wasn 't where I wanted it . It would have been simple to ask me what I preferred . The elevation gains on the third day were way off , the three options were listed as 3700 ' / 6000 ' / 7000 ' , but the actual elevations were 2256 ' / 4008 ' / 4603 ' . That 's a pretty significant difference ; I ride a 4500 ' day very differently than a 7000 ' day , and there are lots of easy ways to do that right , so it was a bit annoying . All the other days seemed pretty close . I was disappointed that the daily route directions didn 't have elevation profiles on them ; it seems like a really obvious thing to do and something that would be useful to all of their guests . One final low point - Backroads has started offering electric - assist bicycles on their tours . We had one person on our trip riding one of these bikes , and found a few issues : Cyclists on the electric - assist bicycle are faster up hills , but tend to be slower on descents . That means the electric - assist bike passes me on the hill , then I have to look for a place to safely pass them , which is hard to do because they are not predictable descenders . I finally pass , and we repeat it on the next hill . They have the speed to ride with a faster group but don 't have the skills or the experience to do it well . I 'm leading a paceline with two other riders , and an e - assist rider as the fourth person . I pull off the front , and drift back . I 'd like to grab the 3 - spot , but I can 't , because the e - assist rider is there , and they don 't know the etiquette . I therefore have to drift back to the back , but I can 't draft because I don 't trust the skills of the e - assist rider ( they move around and slow down randomly ) . I have to hang back from the e - assist rider and just wait . Cyclists tend to self - organize on speed , with faster riders tending to be those with group - riding experience , so those at the front are generally fine on their own . Throw in e - assist bikes , and this breaks down , and makes my experience decidedly worse . They cheapen the experience . Everybody came here with a bit of challenge in mind ; maybe it was riding fast for a whole day over a hilly route , maybe it was just riding 30 miles over a hilly course . It was annoying with one e - assist bike . If there were multiple ones , it could be much worse . I can understand the marketing potential , but I don 't want to be on a tour that has them . Summary
|
" I need some water , " I say , feeling my head starting to swim from the effects of my third shot in the last 30 minutes . I stand up to walk to the bar but Stronger by Kanye West begins blaring over the speakers and Kate squeals and reaches out to drag me onto the dance floor . I hesitate while I watch her and Ros begin dancing before I reluctantly join them , unsure of my footing in my inebriated state . We make it through three songs before I 'm out of breath and Ros motions us back to the table for more drinks . I order a rum and coke and a tall glass of water and turn to Kate and Ros . " I don 't think so ! " Ros yells back conspiratorially . " I sent Christian a study schedule for this weekend and he rejected all of it . He said he has plans all weekend . " " Oh you 're a screamer . Christian , please ! " She says mockingly and entirely too loudly . " He must be pretty talented . I 'm very happy for you . " " Oh my god , I totally forgot , " Kate says embarrassed . " Well , that must make it easier for the two of you to get work done . No sexual tension . " " How did you two meet ? " I ask , glad the subject has turned away from my sex life . She takes a drink from her glass , draining half of it before answering . " We met a few years ago at this young entrepreneur summit that they hold over the summer . It 's like camp but most of the attendants are sixteen or seventeen and they teach you about hedge funds instead of arts and crafts . Most kids get sent there because their rich parents are trying to push them to be successful , but Christian had signed himself up . While the other kids were off smoking weed and fucking by the lake , Christian was attending every seminar he could , taking diligent notes , and asking really insightful questions . That 's when I knew he was the real deal . He was going to be big someday , and so I hitched my wagon to his work horse and never looked back . " " Hardly . He had a thorough background check done , whic , as a sixteen year old , was something I didn 't even know how to do , and he talked to all my friends and family for a character witness . I had three interviews with him before he finally let me in on his plans and even then it took over a year for him to really trust me . My dad is a big name in finance in San Francisco and when I was able to use his connections to get us a face to face meeting with Lloyd Blankfein , who is the CEO of Goldman Sachs , he knew I would be a big help . After that meeting , we started making our plans a reality . " " It 's been rough , and I don 't think it 's going to happen as fast as Christian wants it to , but believe me when I tell you that one day , he 's going to be huge . He 's smart , and driven , and he always gets what he wants in the end . Take me for example . I wanted to go to Yale because the class size is smaller and I liked the campus . But Christian 's dad is a legacy at Harvard and it was important to him to go here , so here we are . Because Christian always gets what he wants in the end . " " Yeah , I 've heard that 's just about the age where he turned around . Apparently he used to be a real terror for his parents , getting expelled for school and fighting and drinking all the time . But then right around 15 he just , calmed down . " I feel an awful twinge of nausea in my stomach as I realize Ros is right , but not in the way she thinks she is . Christian was fifteen when he first started sleeping with Elena . When she lured him into a BDSM relationship and held him there with some kind of disgusting sex contract for years until he finally left her for me . I recall the months at the beginning of the school year before he broke it off with her , how tense he was all the time , like he 's been this week , but all the time . Nothing like the man I had in Aspen . Nothing like the man who swept me off my feet in Vegas . He wasn 't able to be anything then other than what she wanted him to be . He was always at her beck and call , forced to clear his schedule at her whim so he could take her beatings while he fucked her in all sorts of disturbing ways . I feel a chill run over me as my train of thought catches up with me . He was forced to clear his schedule for her , just like he did this weekend . He 's been tense , like before . And he called her yesterday , and now she 's coming here . He wouldn 't … he couldn 't … could he ? I 'm suddenly winded , like I 've been punched in the gut . I want to throw up as I think about the possibility . Kate pushes my water towards me and I pound it down gratefully . It doesn 't change anything though because it 's not the alcohol that 's making me feel sick . It 's a deep , gut wrenching fear and now that I suspect what 's going on , it 's all I can think about . The rest of the night passes in a blur of alcohol and dancing . I don 't know how much I 've had to drink by the end of the night but I know it 's enough that I 'm going to regret it tomorrow . As we leave the bar and Ros steps off the curb to hail us a cab home , I wonder if I should wait to sober up a little before I talk to Christian . I don 't know what I 'll say in this state , but since my inhibitions are lowered , it might be the perfect time . Would I be able to ask the questions I need to ask if I wasn 't fueled by liquid courage ? When the cab pulls up to the curb outside Grays , Kate and I both hug Ros , who is having the driver drop her off closer to her dorm , good - bye . We hold hands as we make our way to the front doors of Grays , Kate giggling as she recalls this fantastic night , but I only feel nervous as we approach our room . An uneasy feeling of dread is creeping over me as I realize I may be about to lose everything . It 's late though , he 's probably asleep . Do I wake him or should I wait until tomorrow ? It might be better to have this argument once Kate is gone so I can have the weekend alone to fall apart in my room if it goes the way I suspect it might go . " Just remember that I need to you to take me to the airport in the morning . And keep it down , I need my beauty sleep , " She says . I glare at her as she disappears into our room and then begin digging through my bag for the key to Christian 's room . I try to be quiet as I fiddle with the key in the lock but my hands are shaking . When I 'm finally able to unlock the door , I turn the knob and expect to see Christian in bed , but to my surprise , I see him sitting at his desk typing on his computer with several textbooks open on the desk around him . What 's he doing still awake ? It 's got to be after 1 : 30 AM by now . " A lot , " I admit . His eyes harden as his face sets into a look of deep disapproval and I have to stop for a moment to search through the alcohol haze in my mind for the words I want to say . With a deep breath and tequila fueled courage , I ask the questions that 's been plaguing me all night . " No ! God , no . Anastasia , what would possibly make you think that would be something I would even want to do ? " He sounds genuinely shocked at the accusation and relief washes over me for a brief minute . I 'm wrong . Thank god , I 'm wrong . But that still doesn 't explain … " I knew about the ballet . " He says . " Elliot called me Wednesday afternoon to say mom had asked him to meet her here and he wanted to know if I was making hotel arrangements . I didn 't want Elena coming here , coming anywhere near you , but everything was set . This might have been the perfect time for her to do something that would drive you away from me so I called her to tell her that if she did anything , to you , to us , that if she didn 't stop trying to ruin the best thing I have ever had … I was going to tell my parents . " " You 're going to tell your parents ? " I ask surprised . His words carry so much weight I think I actually feel myself sober up a little . Through the muggy fog that clouds my brain I can actually have the realization of how big this is . " Ana … coming out with this would have consequences . Ros and I are trying to start a business , something we 're already struggling with , and a high profile child molestation case isn 't exactly good PR . It 'll change everything . It 'll change the way my parents look at me and the way they think of me … and it would ruin her life forever . I don 't think that 's what I want , but I won 't let her destroy what we have . I won 't let her take you from me and if she 's going to force my hand , then … I 'll do it . " " She 's not going to drive me away , Christian . I won 't let her come between us either , " I tell him , feeling an enormous sense of relief . " I love you . " Heat rises within me at these words and I lunge across the space between us , resting my hands on the arms of his chair , and kiss him deeply . He 's taken by surprise for a moment and then returns my kiss with equal passion . I don 't know if it 's the alcohol or his declaration , but in this moment , I want him . I need him . I reach down for his fly as his hands entwine with my hair . I can feel him growing hard beneath my hands as I fumble with the button and zipper blocking me from my goal , and the moment I am able to free his erection , I fall to my knees . I ignore him as I continue my pace , swirling my tongue around him each time I rise to the head of his erection . He inhales sharply and then relaxes back into his chair as he enjoys the pleasure I 'm giving him . The sound of his moans and occasional gasps as I take him deep into my throat egg me on . I feel powerful , knowing that I 'm making him come undone . All the times he 's taken me , taken charge until he 'd brought me to orgasm , I want that . I want to be the one who unravels him . " Ana , baby . Slow down . You 're going to make me come , " He says , through labored breath . I want to smile at the thought but I don 't want to be distracted . " Stop ! " He says firmly . I can feel how hard he is in my mouth and know he 's just on the edge of losing it . He reaches down and yanks me up from the floor , separating me from him , robbing me of my reward . But I 'm not done yet . Not even close . He looks at me suspiciously and hesitates for a moment but eventually he does as I say , pulling his t - shirt over his head before settling down onto the comforter . With slow , deliberate movements , I remove my jacket and carefully pull on the tie over my left shoulder that holds up the pearl colored blouse I 'm wearing . Once the knot is undone , the top slinks down over my skin and jeans before billowing out over the floor around me . Christian watches my little strip tease with a heated gaze and when I turn around so that my backside is to him while I pull my jeans down , I glance over my shoulder and see that he is slowly stroking himself . It 's unbelievably hot . " Get over here , " He growls , and I smile wickedly at him . I stand and pull my panties over my behind , letting them fall to the round and then step out of them . He reaches out for me but I know that he will pull me onto the bed and roll over on top of me to have his wicked way with me , and I 'm not ready to relinquish control just yet . Avoiding his grip , I move onto the bed , placing one knee on either side of each of his legs and then crawl over him to kiss him again . He moans with need into my mouth and I feel like I 'm on fire , burning with desire , turned on by the power I have over him in this moment , knowing how badly he wants me . I reach down , grasp his erection and guide it to my entrance and then slowly sink onto him . " Fuuuuck , " He breathes as I consume him . I rise up slightly and then ease down on him again and again , picking up the pace , my pace , as I go . I admire his beautiful face , his perfectly formed muscles , all pinioned beneath me as for the first time , I fuck him . He reaches up and grasps my breasts and while he rolls my nipples between his thumb and index finger , I drop all the way down on him so he is buried entirely inside of me and begin swirling my hips around . His mouth opens in an inaudible gasp of pleasure and as I move around and around I begin to feel the burgeoning sense of pleasure that signals my orgasm is approaching . I keep it at bay as best as I can as I want to make him come but , in that moment , I begin to rise and fall on top of him again and he cries my name as he comes violently inside of me , taking me with him . His hands grasp my hips as he thrusts up into me , causing my orgasm to go on and on , reaching every inch of my body and electrifying it with pleasure . I cry out , realizing in the back of my mind that Kate can probably hear me now , but I don 't care . All that exists right now is him and what we have together . " I love the sound of your giggle , Anastasia , " He says , moving his head and kissing my hair sweetly . With great effort , I pry myself off of him and shift so that we can both settle into the bed . The last thing I know , I 'm nestling into his arms and drifting off to sleep . Christian must be exhausted because he doesn 't wake up with his alarm the next morning and when I 'm finally able to nudge him awake , he tells me to turn it off . I 'm grateful because it means that I get more time with him and because I think a lot of his bad mood has to do with him only getting a few hours of sleep every night . When I sit up to turn the alarm off though , I feel a pounding in my head as a rush of nausea takes me . I have to scramble quickly out of bed and run to the bathroom , where I hurl a spectacular wave of clear liquid into the toilet . Oh man , this is not good . " Yeah , I just have a headache now , " I say with a deep yawn . He hands me two more Advil , which I take gratefully , before I kiss him good - bye and follow Kate out to her car . Once I 've made sure she got through security okay , I speed off for the nearest coffee shop , in desperate need of caffeine as I 'll barely have time to shower once I get home and have to start my dreaded Friday schedule . The day drags on as I feel sluggish and jittery from the coffee . Once my headache fades away , I realize how exhausted I am from only getting a few hours sleep last night , and by the time I get to Business Writing , I feel like I 'm ready to pass out . I lay my head down on the desk , wondering if I should just skip class today . " I 'm surprised Grey would be okay with you going out and drinking like that . That doesn 't seem like the kind of thing he 'd approve of . You know … things that are fun . " " Then I suppose I 'm glad you 're a rebel , " He says with a smile . " What do you say we take it a step further and skip class ? I 'll buy you a coffee . " " Astor … " I say , annoyed . " Look , I have a boyfriend . I have boyfriend that doesn 't like you very much , and I think you know that , and I think you 're trying to get a rise out of him , and I don 't really appreciate it . I 've spent way too much energy fighting with Christian about you this week and quite frankly , I don 't want to do it anymore . I don 't really know why I bothered to do it in the first place . So , let 's not talk . Let 's not do anything because I 'm not your girlfriend . I 'm not even your friend . And quite frankly , Jurassic Park sucks . " When we 've been assigned our homework for the weekend and dismissed , I make a beeline for the door and pull out my phone to text Christian . I really hope he doesn 't want to go to dinner right now . All I want to do , is go to bed . " Nope , " He says with a smile . I roll my eyes and reach out for my suitcase . He laughs and takes my outstretched hand , pulling both suitcases out of the room after him and then turning to lock his door . I follow slowly in his wake as we make our way out to the Audi . We don 't even make it out of the parking lot before I 'm asleep . " Hey , " Christian 's voice says softly , pulling me from the darkness of a dreamless sleep . I look around and the first thing I notice is that it 's almost completely dark outside the car . We 're surrounded by snow capped trees and in front of us there is a large building with a smoking chimney standing in front of a dozen or so cozy looking cottages scattered about the grounds over a blanket of thick , white snow . I look around again at our surroundings , taking in the storybook appearance of it all as Christian climbs excitedly out of the driver 's seat and walks around to open my door . I take the hand he offers me and together we walk into the main office where we are given a set of keys and a cabin number . Christian hands the plump woman behind the desk his credit card for the weekend and then leads me from the main building to a small cottage tucked in an isolated area of trees . He disappears through the door as I examine the room around me . The cabin has only one room with a small bathroom off the far wall . The walls and floor are made of the same rich tinted wood and on the wall to my right there is a huge stone fireplace with a furry rug laid across the floor in front of it . On the other side of the rug is a comfortable looking couch facing a TV on a stand filled with DVDs . To my left is a huge king sized bed with a fluffy down comforter , a quilt and several overstuffed down pillows . And besides the mini fridge on the right , next to the front door , and a bookshelf next to the window , that 's it . Just a single room and the prospect is immediately relaxing . A weekend alone here with Christian is exactly what I need . " What do you think ? " Christian asks , as he steps inside with our suitcases and what looks like a paper take out bag hooked over his arm . When did he get that ? Man , I must have really been out of it . " No , I don 't mind , " I tell him , though I am suddenly nervous about what I 'm going to find in this suitcase . I really hope there are actually clothes in here . I open the suitcase and on top of a familiar pile of pajamas , leggings , oversized sweaters , and warm socks , is a stiff pink bag with the name of a French store scribbled across the front in a loopy font . I reach into the bag and pull out something black , sheer , and covered in a soft , fine lace . " Oh , no . I put that in there , " He says grinning lasciviously as the fire beneath the hearth begins to grow steadily to a soft , warm glow . " A man has dreams , Anastasia . " I roll my eyes and shove the lingerie back into the bag and stuff it into my suitcase . Everything else here looks good though , and I strip out of my jeans and t - shirt in favor of a pair of pajamas . Inspiration strikes me as I pull on a pair of leggings and I turn to Christian 's suitcase and take out one of his t - shirts and slip it on . " I like this better , " I tell him . He smiles and comes to sit on the couch next to me , pulling cartons of take - out Chinese food out of the brown paper bag he brought in with him . I give him a thankful glance as I dig into my carton and he turns on a classic , black and white movie . Casablanca . " I love this movie , " I tell him , as I cuddle up next to him on the couch with my carton of Chinese food . " Kate and I watch a ton of old movies together whenever we 're bored or sad . Mostly Gone with the Wind . Scarlett O ' Hara is Kate 's hero . " " Scarlett O ' Hara ? But she 's dumb … and annoying . Oh , I guess for Kate that makes sense , " He says jokingly . I frown at him , and elbow him gently in the ribs , and he laughs . " She was a very feminist character for her time . She uses men to get what she needs for her and her family 's survival , she went into business for herself , and she even denied her husband sex because she loved another man . She could have been imprisoned for that at the time . " " Well , there 's that , " I admit with a laugh , and then cuddle back into him to focus back on the movie . About half way through , I decide I want to crawl into the inviting looking bed , but Christian has other ideas . He has me lie on the bed over the blanket and proceeds to give me a deeply relaxing warming oil massage while I listen to Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman . I 'm in heaven as I slowly drift off and just before I 'm completely lost to the world I hear him whisper , " I love you , Anastasia , " And his lips press gently into my hair .
|
I think it 's amazing the things that toddlers and babies seem to know without having to be taught . Sucking is a prime example . I never had to show James how to eat spaghetti , but he will slurp up noodles without blinking . Shaking his head when he is done with something . Not just eating , when he is done playing as well . He will shake his head and walk away . So , we are adapting . I 'm trying to work smarter throughout the day so I can take much needed breaks . I hug him and tickle him and talk to him . He just wants to sit on my lap , babbling away , while playing with his iPhone . If I ask for snuggles , I get the best hugs and he lets me squish him back . If I ask for kisses and give him my cheek there is no hesitation . And some times he gives me his cheek while grinning , know he is going to get kisses from me . But it 's worth it . Those days when the 3 of us are on the couch together , and he is just happy to be sprawled over us , his head in my lap with his feet on A 's legs . Those are why I do this . In the 3 months he has had his device , there wasn 't much interest in it until about 3 weeks ago . Something clicked that he could have it , and now that he was walking , he looked like me . Wandering the kitchen and dining room with it in one hand , checking it regularly . He would flick it in and out of his mouth really fast . He was also running it along the roof of his mouth and his teeth . When he caught us watching , the resulting giggles were too much . Tuesday , he and daddy showed me his latest trick . They had worked on James opening his mouth to say " aaaaaaaahhhhh " while A placed his hand in front of James ' mouth and began covering and uncovering it to break up the noise . Again , James thought this was completely hilarious , and the new noise had him smiling . The story is so well told , coming from the point of view of our main character , and letting us peek into her life . When she suddenly has someone dropped into her life , she has to basically start living , something she hasn 't really done . She learns that love and friendship is a two way street , and that other people have a different perception of her that she has to deal with . He outgrew everything that we had , and when we started looking to replace them , we realized that we 'd have to go through this whole process again in 4 months when Summer left us . So , rather than spend money we don 't have now , we are saving in order to get him a good pair of shoes and socks that won 't bunch up on those chubby legs . He spends most of his time inside , and errands have him in a stroller or shopping cart . Like most toddlers , a new surface is not something to jump on to . He is wary of this grass stuff when it 's under his little feet . He has no problems sitting on the sidewalk next to it and pulling it out , but just don 't stand him on it . Each night , I 've wandered on the lawn , picking a couple of large leaves for him , and bringing them back . He loves to sit and just drop them , twirl them , and will bounce with joy each time . I don 't think I 've ever seen someone so excited to watch a leaf he just dropped from his hand land on the floor . I 've officially tried all the Stage 3 Gerber meals with him . He just will not eat their chicken , turkey , or beef dinners . We get about 3 spoons of food into him and he begins to gag and choke . He INHALES those without any qualms at all . I think he is chewing , but can 't be 100 % on that one . All I know is that he eats and eventually shakes his head at us when he is done . By the way , is that an instinct ? The shaking of the head ? Because we don 't do that , at least not that I can recall . And all of a sudden , there he is , shaking his head and closing his mouth and eyes . It means he is done , and 2 minutes later he has walked off to play . This week alone , he ate about 1 / 3 of a frozen meal of mine at lunch . It was breaded fish , and he LOVED it . He actually preferred it to the macaroni and cheese that was on the side . Wednesday night , I made spaghetti for us . He was at my knee , wanting to taste what was on my plate . So I rolled up a couple of noodles on my fork and let him have at it . Is that another instinct ? The slurping of noodles ? Because he proved he could get anything hanging out of his mouth into his mouth by sucking and slurping . He did it so well on that first bite that I moved him to his high chair and commenced to give him spaghetti . Last night , I made a box of macaroni and cheese just for him . We ate our dinner , which he tried as well , and then a small bowl of his pasta . The rest is in the fridge , and will be eaten later for lunch . This comes in handy when he is carrying a leaf or pebble that he has found outside and insisted on carrying in . Or when he is in the kitchen and finds onion peel and decides it 's a prized treasure . We don 't have to worry about him swallowing those things , and it is one less stress . He won 't drink . As in , I have to pin him down on my lap , force a bottle in his mouth , and hold him there to drink . This isn 't just milk , it 's juice and water as well . I know he isn 't dehydrating himself , we make sure he is peeing regularly , but there has to be an easier way . This year , I learned about what Zachary Levi has been doing every year . It 's called Nerd HQ . By getting his friends together for panels and things , he raises money for charity . As the mother of someone born with a cleft lip and palate , this charity speaks to me from the heart . We were blessed to be in a place where James benefited from good medical care and will never have to worry about dealing with some of the bigger problems from it . But there are children around the world who don 't have that luxury . I 've watched it a dozen times , and it just doesn 't stop cracking me up . And I love that , in the end , it 's helping children . These guys are just amazing . He hears that front door open , and he comes from anywhere to see who is here . The other day we had sandwiches delivered from Jimmy Johns and he sat there staring at the delivery guy . When I turned to write in the tip and sign the receipt , he closed the door on him . He did the same to the neighbor who came by to watch him walk , too . Apparently , he 'll go to the doorway , but you aren 't allowed in . And when he 's done , he 's learned to close the door . " Just take a deep breath . You will know what he needs . Either a diaper change , bottle , or just hold him . When all that doesn 't help - call Grandma ! " We have officially gotten him on a schedule . He is up between 7 and 8 each morning . Nap is at noon . He sleeps anywhere from 2 to 3 hours , depending on his needs . Then bedtime is at 9 each night . We don 't wake him for anything , much to the frustration of people who try to plan things in the afternoon . The family knows his schedule , and we 've made a point to let them know ( repeatedly ) that if it 's really important for us to be there to please schedule things a little later . There is still crying / fussing when he is first put down . It 's more being mad that play time is over , and you can tell he is exhausted by the sound . I think 1 night last month we noticed the cry was different , so we scooped him up and let him play an extra 30 minutes , and then he crashed quickly . It was just not the time apparently . I ran in and picked him up . That calmed him , so we sat in the rocker / glider , where I drifted in and out of sleep with James doing the same . At one point , I realized he was asleep , and moved him to his crib . He whimpered , so I tiptoed out and closed his door . By 1 : 30 in the morning , he had been given Tylenol by daddy , and moved to our bed . He was sleepy , you could tell , but he wanted to sit up and look at the blinds and street light outside . After about 30 minutes of just watching him , seeing him lean on me and look like he was falling asleep , then standing IN THE BED to go and touch the blinds , I managed to get him in to a position where I was spooning him . He had a death grip on my arms as they wrapped around him , and that is how we slept for what I think was about 90 minutes . Maybe 2 hours . The development of the charachters , the story , and just the writing had me hooked almost from the beginning . I loved the way that Cora , our main charachter and a true heroine in her own way , embarks on a journey , and even when it isn 't what she had hoped for , still manages to come away with a strong sense of self that just continues to grow . She is an amazing woman , and at the end I was sitting in tears , happy for the way the story left me feeling . Please try reading this story . Set in a time when things were so different , it just was amazing in a way that The Help was for me earlier this year . You will not be disappointed in The Chaperone , please believe me . There are still occasionally moments where he would prefer to have you with him . He will stand up at the couch , hands on my knees , and then reach out for a finger . Then he turns , and starts to step away , still holding the finger , and pulling . We are getting quick to stand with him , and he will lead us around to where he wants to be . As mentioned above , he took my finger and walked me off the couch . I was lead to the next room , and he stopped when we were both standing in front of A at his desk . James made a grunt , then let go of me and sat at our feet . He just looked up at us and smiled . It really has been another crazy 4 weeks here . When I realized it was Monday , I thought I 'd pull out a card and see what the advice was . Then I looked at the calendar . " I have no advice . I have no kids . But you are not alone and I love you . Even though I 'm far away , call me RIGHT NOW ! I will make you laugh : ) That right there is my cousin . I 've thought of her as another sister over the years , and we are always there for one another . I love her . The youngest guest at the baby shower was the daughter of my husband 's cousin 's girlfriend . ( Bueller ? Bueller ? ) Even at such a young age her advice is still sound : " Follow your own instincts and don 't let others " boss " you around . You 'll know what he needs and you are equipped to give it to him ! L - O - V - E ! " While he does pick things up with his fingers , and I have seen him put puff cereal in his mouth twice , he still doesn 't want to do it regularly . I know he won 't starve if we were to sit him in his high chair and work on it , but it 's frustrating . He is a strong little booger , and he gets so mad when you try to get him to do things he doesn 't want . Even with walking , he is doing it himself . If you go stand him , he drops to his butt , crawls away , then stands up by himself in the middle of the living room . He may only walk 2 steps before losing balance at that point , but he did it himself and apparently that 's what he wants . His thing is to come looking for what I am eating . Most times , if it 's from my plate and I give him a taste , he will eat and ask for more . This does not work with chicken , only worked with meatloaf if I had a small bite hidden in mashed potatoes , and doesn 't work at all with watermelon . He 's tried each of those items , and as you can see from what I have written , he already has his likes and dislikes . Today 's morale is that I need to stop over thinking . He is doing fine , though I wish we weren 't spending so much on jarred food , but it 's a convenience . And neither of us has the inclination to make him food from scratch just yet . If he would be feeding himself , maybe . We watched the wind pick up just before James went to bed . After he was asleep , you could hear it outside , whipping through everything . This was the closest I ever thought we 'd be to a tornado . Saturday morning is a prime example of family cluing us in . Because if my FIL hadn 't called , we 'd never had known that a majority of the county and valley were without power . Including them . I still don 't own a scale . I rely solely on the Wii and Wii Fit Plus to track the progress . So I took everything out and prepared to be amazed . Only to find it was dead . The Wii just wouldn 't power on at all . The poor thing was about to turn 5 , so I guess it was bound to happen , but we just stood there and stared at it . So , I 'm buying a scale this week . The Wii is being taken to Game Stop for credit towards something else . We 've agreed that for now it makes no sense to replace it since we don 't play as often with it . And that , I believe , is what is considered a First World Problem . We have water , electricity , and food . We don 't have to brave the outdoors in this heat , and have been able to shelter family when needed . But we lost our Wii . All images and content on this site © copyright Sharon G Harris . All rights Reserved . Material on this site should not be used or reproduced in any way . I 'm a 39 year old first time mom . I had been diagnosed with PCOS and thought an IUI or IVF would be the only way to conceive . After a move from CA to VA , we put ourselves on a diet , lost a lot of weight , and suddenly found ourselves pregnant just when we were going to meet our new RE . Things are bound to be more interesting now . . .
|
Tonight while Brooklyn is away with her friends at church , I was putting away her laundry . As I walked past her door my leg hit something so I looked down and this is what I saw : ( you might have to click on the picture and blow it up to really see it ) As you can see , it is her Door Belle . So cute that she spelled " bell " that way . One of her best friends names is Belle - - so that 's the way she thinks it is spelled ! ha haIt took me a good 30 seconds to decipher what in the world the " instructions " were over there on the right side . It says : * Blow * on * Strol ( straw ) That straw is one of those really squeaky kind so if you blow on it , it sounds like a loud whistle . She is so funny . She locks her door all the time to keep her brother out and it drives me nuts when I can 't get into her room . . . so I guess she decided she needed a door bell ! She already asked me earlier today , " Mom , when 's the soonest I can get a cell phone ? " I said ( while distracted by 3 things cooking on the stove at once ) " umm , probably when your around 13 . " She replied , " ALL RIGHT ! ! Dad said I had to wait till I was 18 ! " Oh boy . . . . are we there already ? ? Today , as I was out mowing the yard ( a . k . a . acre ) I see Grant come running out to me with nothing but a towel wrapped around his little white bottom . I stop the mower and he screams " MOM ! WILL YOU COME WIPE MY BUTT ? " Are you kidding me ? Get off the mower while I 'm dripping in sweat , covered in a zillion peices of dirt and grass and walk into the house so I can wipe someone ELSE 's butt ? No thanks . Does anyone have any suggestions for getting a 4 - year - old to learn how to wipe his OWN butt ? Remember that movie Big Daddy with Adam Sandler ? The little boy says " I can wipe my own a $ $ " throughout the whole movie . I never realized what a BIG deal that was until this past year . At first he would attempt to wipe his own butt . . . but he 'd use an entire ( and I am NOT exaggerating ) roll of toilet paper to do it and then end up clogging the toilet . We are on a septic system out here . . . so that is a BIG no - no ! Then we tried teaching him to only use a little bit of toilet paper but then he 'd come out of the bathroom with crap smeared up to the middle of his back and all over his hands . Ugh ! We actually went back and forth between those 2 extremes for a couple of weeks until finally we said he wasn 't allowed to wipe his own butt anymore . Of course that 's not fair to him because everytime he asks us to come wipe his butt , we get mad at him and call him a " baby " . I know , I know . . . that is SO wrong on SO many different levels . . . but hey - - - you come over and try it and see what nasty things don 't escape from your mouth ! Anyway , if anyone has any suggestions for this , I would love to hear them . In just 15 days , he will be starting Pre - K at the big elementary school . I really don 't want to have to come up to the school to wipe his butt every day ! Hey ya 'll ! Thanks to all of you for your great advice and comments on my ring dilemma . I don 't know why I did it as a comment instead of a post . . . but if you go to that post and click on the comments , I left a big response to all of you . Its the 10th comment , I believe . A few days ago Brooklyn got a free magazine from American Girl in the mail . It was her first experience with having a magazine all of her own and I think she thoroughly enjoyed it . Then a day or two later , her first issue of Highlights magazine came ( thanks Grandma for the subscription ! ) In it they have a page of poems . Ones that kids have written and sent in . So . . . I started talking to her about poems and explaining that it 's a lot like writing lyrics for a song . ( that 's something she can totally understand ) So , we sat down to write a poem together . She was a little stumped at first and couldn 't even think of a subject , so I suggested " school " . This is what we came up with : August is comingthat means school . I like seeing my friendsbut the work is NOT cool . Music , math , reading and art , It 's all okay , but recess is the BEST part ! What will I wear on the first day ? What are my friends going to say ? I wonder who my teacher will be ? I just hope she 'll like me . Now I know it 's not the most intelligent piece of work ever written , but I 'm proud of her for it . I did a lot of it - - - but she did come up with the rhyming words . It 's cute to watch her see that she CAN do something like this , even though she thought she couldn 't . It bugs me ( for me ) that it 's not consistent - - meaning there are 4 lines in the first paragraph and then only 2 in the other paragraphs . Guess that 's just the perfectionist coming out in me . . . and the grammar / English lover . Anyway , just thought I 'd share this because it 's a fun thing to do with your kids . You might end up with something really silly . . . but that 's the fun of it - - and its a great teaching tool since they get to practice their writing , their rhyming and sentence structure . A fun way to get them started is to make each line begin with the words " What if __________________ " For instance : What if I lose my shoe ? What if the sky is not blue ? What if I forget to say Hi ? What if I start to cry ? and so on . . . . Yes , it doesn 't make much sense . . . but it can make for a really good giggle in the end and I can almost guarPosted by So . . . . I want ya ' lls opinions / advice on something : I 'm thinking about trading my wedding ring for a different one ! ! I 've actually done it once before , but it wasn 't really my choice . The first ring Matt and I bought for me the prongs KEPT coming loose EVERY single time I would take it in to be checked , they had to send it off to be repaired . Finally Zales requested that I pick a different ring out . So I did . I went bigger and better . Currently I have a 1 . 10 carat emerald cut diamond solitare with a band beside it that has 4 small diamonds ( 2 on either side of the big one ) . I LOVE this ring and always have . Not a day has gone by that I didn 't LOVE it . However . . . I also love the newer styles of rings that are out now that are more vintage looking and are set in either platinum or white gold . ( mine is in yellow gold ) . I have checked into getting mine dipped to change the band color but I don 't think that is what I want to do . Anyway . . . Last night while we were at the mall , we went into a jewelry store to have Matt 's wedding ring sized . He 's lost so much weight , that he can 't even wear it anymore without it falling right off his finger ! ! Since mine is getting loose too and the band is actually broken on the underneath side and I am always looking . . . . I decided to try on a particular ring that caught my eye . As soon as I put it on , it was love at first sight ! and not just for me either . . . Matt also thought it was gorgeous and actually much prettier than the one I already have . It is absolutely my favorite ring I have ever tried on or seen EVER . I asked about trading and they said they would do that . Here 's a pic of the " new " ring , though I don 't think this does it justice at ALL . It actually lets your finger show on the sides between the bands . . . and it has a diamond on the sides too - - like if your looking at the prongs part . So . . . here 's the problem : 1 . I love my ring and I really don 't want to let it go . I get compliments on it all the time and jewlers always remark at what an unusual cut it is . 2 . The new ring I am looking at aJen Last night , my mom had the kids over to spend the night so Matt and I decided to take advantage of a kid - free night and go out and do something . It was pretty last minute and we didn 't really have time for a nice sit - down dinner and a movie , so we opted for a quick dinner . We got the $ 5 footlong deal at Subway and drank water . Next stop was GNC for a protein bar to snack on during the movie . ( No way were we eating that calorie - loaded popcorn the cinema sells ) . Once we got to the movies ( the $ 1 . 50 place ) we overheard the guy at the counter say that Monday 's are " Family Night " and that as long as you have 3 people , the tickets are only . 50 cents . So , instead of paying $ 3 for our tickets , I just bought an extra one and only paid $ 1 . 50 total ! ha ha ( of course it about killed me to throw away that perfectly good extra ticket ! ) Lastly , since we didn 't splurge on dinner or on popcorn , we went to Braum 's for a cone of their Low - Fat Capiccino Chunky Chocolate frozen yogurt . YUM ! Sinfully delicious ! On the drive home , I started calculating and I think we actually went on a whole date and only spent a little over $ 10 . That 's pretty impressive for dinner , a movie with snacks and dessert ! ! When we got home we decided we wanted to take some pictures of ourselves so we spent probably 20 minutes in weird positions trying to get a decent picture together on our cell phones . Since I am SO much shorter than him , I had to get on top of the kitchen counter and squat down and that was finally the " winning " shot ! ha ha We were in a fit of giggles by the time that was all done , which was a perfect way to set the mood for the rest of the evening . ; o ) Here are a few pics of me and my skinny sexy sweetie that Brooklyn took before we left . Matt insisted on doing a " silly " one ! Here 's one of me B . took while we were waiting on Matt to change shoes . He was wearing these really cute orange and brown striped leather flip - flops - - but then he remembered he NEVER wears flip - flops to the movie theatre . " You never know what might crawl across your fooPosted by If you have a daughter , you probably recognize that as the title song for Hannah Montana . Brooklyn has been waiting for WEEKS for this big live concert that was going to air on TV on Saturday , July 26th . She has asked me almost daily " how many more days , mom ? " We were counting the hours down on Saturday and had our 3D glasses all ready and waiting . Then my neice , Chantel , came into town and we got completely distracted . At 7 : 49 , we decided to all ( me , Chantel , Brooklyn , my mom and my aunt ) go and get our toenails done at this place that closed at 8 . I called and the guy said he 'd wait on us so we RUSHED out the door . At about 8 : 49 , it hit me ! ! We were missing the show ! ! ! AGHHHHH ! ! ! Thankfully , I called Matt and had him start recording it so we got the 2nd half of the show . When I " broke the news " to Brooklyn that we had missed the first hour , she said , " That 's okay . I 'm over it . I 'm kinda past Hannah Montana now . " ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! First of all , that cracked me up . But secondly , how can my 7 year old be " past " Hannah Montana ? She should just now be to the age that she 's starting to like that stuff . What 's next ? Adult shows ? She is growing up WAY too fast . I guess I 'm partly to blame . . . but really , I want to keep her " little " for as long as possible . When we got home that night , she did manage to ' make herself ' endure watching the 2nd half of the show though ! ha haChantel and Brooklyn . Chantel , Brooklyn and Me ( au naturel ) Thanks to all of you who offered a suggestion on how to handle " The Mouse Pad Situation " and who enjoyed a giggle with me at my daughter 's hilarious doodle . A special thanks goes to Teresa ( a . k . a . Logzie ) for giving me the " winning " suggestion . After a stinging swat to the rear and a long ( and miserable for her ) talk , Brooklyn will now work doing little jobs for me for the rest of the summer until she has earned enough money to buy me a new mouse pad . Yesterday she had the " pleasure " of shoveling the TMTC ( too many too count ) piles of dog dookey out of our back yard . She earned $ 1 . 00 . If I remember right , the mouse pad was about $ 25 , so I think by the time she earns that much , the lesson will be engrained in her brain about destroying other people 's things and how hard we work to have the money to buy nice things . As for the " special " mousepad - - - it 's going in my scrapbook and will be something we will bust a gut over for the rest of our lives probably ! I 'm so glad I didn 't try to clean it . Even if I could have gotten it clean - - it 's way more funny and " special " now . Of course , while this process is happening I can 't let her see me giggling about it - - - so shhhh ! Once the new mouse pad is purchased and the old one is " scrapped " , I will explain to her that it is a cute doodle and that is why I am saving it , but that next time she wants to doodle , she needs to get out some paper . Someday when she 's a mom , I can tell her the " rest of the story . " ( Amy E . remember hearing Paul Harvey say that every day in 6th grade during lunch ? That Mr . Smith ! ! ! ha ha ) Today was my first day back to the gym in over a week ( because of VBS last week ) . It felt GREAT ! And . . . it felt GREAT to feel great finally . It seems like lately I 've been really dragging in my work outs and my enthusiasm has just been zippo . Today , however , I felt energized and totally ready to kick butt - - and I did . After my class , I even jumped on the elliptical and did 20 minute ( interval training ) and burned an extra 215 calories . I wore a heather - gray tank top today and by the time I left the gym - it looked like it was charcoal gray ! I was so bummed that I forgot to wear my heart rate monitor since this is the first time since I got it that I really felt like I gave it my ALL in a work out . Anyway , I said all of that to say . . . . I totally SCREWED up immediately following the gym . I took the kids to Taco Bueno . I had coupons . . . need I say more ? Ugh . I thought I was doing good by ONLY ordering myself a burrito and a water . I mean , how bad can a burrito be ? All it had in it was meat , beans and cheese . I ate it feeling guiltier with every bite . I knew the first thing I was going to do when I got home was look up the nutritional info . To my dismay ( but not to my surprise ) , I found out that a combo burrito from Taco Bell packs 507 calories ! YIKES ! Good thing it filled me up because at that rate , I can 't afford to eat anything else until dinner ! And then . . . it needs to be an extra - light dinner if I am going to ever lose any more weight . Speaking of losing weight . . . . I really try to refrain from talking about any weight - related issues on this blog anymore . For one , I know a lot of you don 't really care to hear it . . . but # 2 : I don 't need to talk about it on here since I can talk about it on my other blog now . http : / / p90xourjourney . blogspot . comHowever . . . I have realized that I am blogging more and more on that blog and less and less on here . It seems like a lot of what I have to say has to do with food and exercise . . . so I end up only journaling on that blog and then having nothing to say on this one . Anyway , I 'm still gonna try tPosted by Last night , I snuck out of the house with my mom . Just me and her . It was magical ! No kids = no whining and crying and fighting ! Anyway , we had several errands to run and while I ran into Old Navy for a second , she went next door to Bed , Bath & Beyond . When we met back up at the car she said she had bought us something - - one for me and one for her . ( ohhh - - yippee ! I love suprises and presents ! ! ) What she pulled from the bag though . . . . . ummm . . . . not exactly what I had in mind . It was a PedEgg . Usefull ? - - yes ! But exciting ? ? After we ' shopped till we dropped ' I crawled into my big wonderful bed and held my new little PedEgg in my hand . I thought I might as well give it a try . Away I went shaving and filing away . What I was left with was AMAZING ! My feet have never been so fresh and soft ! In just a couple of minutes , I had feet as flawless as my kids again ! I have used many , many kinds of foot thingys in my lifetime because I am somewhat of a perfectionist when it comes to my feet . I cannot STAND peeling polish or dirty toes or dirty bottoms of the feet , so I 've tried my share of gadgets but NONE compare to the ease of this PedEgg or the result ! Plus , ALL shavings are contained inside until you open it to clean it . . . so you can do it anywhere ! I know . . . thinking about shavings off your feet is gross and as far as I 'm concerned - - just GAG ME ! but . . . hey it 's a disappointing reality of life - - - we all get callused heels - - and we all NEED a PedEgg ! If you have a Bed , Bath & Beyond near you or a Linens - N - Things , you can pick one up for $ 9 . 99 . I 'll even send you a 20 % off coupon if you give me your address . If you don 't have one of those stores nearby , you can still order one online - - just google PedEgg . I honestly think if we all had one of these and used it , we could put pedicurists out of business ! ( not that I want to do that - - - but geez ! ! I just can 't spend $ 30 on my feet every month ! ) Another tip that you all might not know about . . . if you want your toes to LOOK like you 've had a pedicure but don 't want to pay for one . . . just go and Posted by I know , I haven 't been here much lately . Just thought I 'd drop in and say Hi to everyone while I have just a second . I think , starting on Monday , things will be back to " summer - normal " and I 'll probably be blogging more regularly . I can 't believe school starts in only 1 month from now ! This summer is FLYING by ! I 'm SO not ready for it to end yet ! ! Anyway , we had a long , fun day at the water park today and now I am pooped . I want nothing more than to put up my laptop and go crawl into my amazingly wonderful bed . so . . I think I will . . . : o ) * * * To my male readers . . . Guys , you might wanna skip this one . * * * Okay , on a less serious note . . . ( from my earlier post ) . . . I have realized that my bust is shrinking . I thought it might be - - because I 've been noticing my bands on my bras were getting looser . . . but geez louise - - - I took a look in the mirror tonight and I think half the weight I 've lost might have come from that area ! ! I am looking like a set of deflated balloons and if I continue to lose weight . . . well , I have to wonder if my ballons might wither away even more ! ? ! It 's such a different side of the fence for me to be on . I 've spent the last 20 years of my life ( yes , I said 20 ) wishing and hoping for a reduction . I 've always been on the big side and I have HATED it every minute of my life . I blossomed WAYYY too early and by 6th grade I was wearing the same size bra that I wear right now ! I believe my mom bought me my very first bra around the age of 6 or 7 and I 've had one on ever since . Anyway , as you all probably noticed , I did the " Plastic Surgery Poll ' recently and it appears that a lot of us would like to have a new set of " Balloons " on our bodies . Even though I 've dreamt of it . . I 've never really ever seriously considered getting anything like this done . For one , I never thought I was " THAT " bad but for two , I just couldn 't see spending that much money on something so vain . However , I am beginning to wonder if I shouldn 't take the idea more seriously . I 'm surprised all the time by people who 've done it . I have several friends who have . . . and they don 't regret it at all . It would certainly be nice not to have ridges in my shoulders and neck from all the hoisting up I have to do . Tonight I mentioned it to Matt and he said he could definitely tell that I am shrinking and looking more and more deflated all the time . He 's also supportive of me getting the surgery - - - or not - - - either way . Gosh . . . . it seems crazy to even think about . . but maybe I 'll look into it . . . . ? ? ? ! ! ! ! I can just imagine the thoughts going through your heads . I know which ones of you will say " GoPosted by Something happened with a friend of mine last week . . . and the situation is eating at me . Makes me think of the song by Timbaland " Apologize " . Not that the meaning of the song has anything to do with this situation . . . but still . . the chorus says " It 's too late to apologize " and that 's how I feel about this . Since I canNOT seem to get it out of my mind , I thought I 'd tell ya 'll about it and see what you think . Of course , I am leaving out the specific details to protect identity . . . but you 'll get the point I think . So , I made a committment a couple of weeks ago to her to do something for her this past week . At first , I had said no because I knew it was going to be a busy week - - with it being my birthday and having company come into town - - - but I knew she really needed help with this project and so I said I would do my best to help her out . ( besides , she has ALWAYS helped me out when I needed it and so it was my turn to return the favor , I felt . ) The day finally came and just as I thought , I was dreading it because I really just didn 't have the time . We communicated with each other through several e - mails and everytime the mood was very relaxed and she was like " just whenever you can get it done will be fine . " Well , long story short , after 3 days of trying to get it completed , I ended up telling her that I was almost done with it , but not quite and didn 't know if she wanted to finish it up or if she wanted me to . That 's when I realized that the mood about this was NOT relaxed as I had thought . The next string of e - mails were short and cut and dry ( very NOT like her ) and I knew she was MAD . I apologized over and over to the point of looking like an idiot begging for forgiveness . She ignored my offers to complete the task and my plea 's for forgiveness and I haven 't heard from her since . Because of the relationship that we have , we HAVE to see and talk to one another eventually . . . but I can 't STAND this tension . I know I messed up . I admit that I should have given this committment top priority and gotten it done . I feel as thouPosted by Well , what a lot of stuff I have to tell you about ! Let 's see . . . first of all , Matt 's little brother and his wife and their son came to visit us on Thursday night . It 's always fun having them around . . . and the kids LOVE having their cousin , Jax to play with ! Friday we got up and went to the lake . The kids had a blast on the tube ( including the adult - aged kids ) and we all got plenty of sun . After that we came home and grilled out dinner and the kids swam some more in the pool . Saturday we ( the girls and kids ) slept till 10 : 00 am ! ! ! ! When I woke up , Matt had pretty much decided we needed to sell the boat . We 've had our share of troubles with it and since Matt is the one who has to deal with it , plus he hates pulling that LONG trailer - - I figured he should get to make the choices about it . I wasn 't happy about it . . . but we listed it on Craig 's list and we sold it almost immediately ! Saturday afternoon we headed to Incredible Pizza for some games and food . Right after we ate , they announced that they were having a Hula - hoop contest and that there would be prizes ! I grabbed Brooklyn 's hand and drug her over there . She ended up being too scared to do it , so I asked the guy with the microphone to ask if any other adults wanted to challenge me ! ! Sure enough , I got another mom and a dad to go up against me . Neither of them could hold a candle to my hot hula - hoopin hips though . : o ) For some reason , hula - hooping has always come VERY natural to me and I think I could probably do it for hours on end without losing my rhythm . I ended up winning $ 10 in game cards ! Then a couple of hours later , they announced they were having a dance - off . This time , Brooklyn thought she would do it , so back over there we went . Both of the kids wanted to do it . . . but were too scared , so I got out there with them and danced too ! I can 't believe how un - self - conscious I was but I 'm glad . We had so much fun ! After that , it was time for our company to go home . We bid them goodbye and then we headed to a store where Matt needed to exchange a pair of jeans . While Posted by WOW ! I had SO MANY phone calls and e - mails yesterday wishing me Happy Birthday ! I really do have the BEST family and friends EVER ! Thank you to every one of you who were so sweet with your kind words of encouragement about the age 30 and beyond ! ! So , you 've asked . . . what 'd I do CRAZY and WILD for my birthday ? I went out and spent $ 37 on a box of Crest WhiteStrips ( the 5 mintue kind ) and I am whitening my teeth ! ! Ris - kay huh ? HA HAI am also doing my " special " pictures on Thur . Aug . 7th . . . so that 'll be pretty WiLd too ! ! ( This is one of my favorite pictures ! It 's our old dog Sam and baby Grant ! I 'm pretending they are looking out the door watching my 20 's float away - - like a helium filled balloon - - no chance of getting it back . ) Goodbye to my 20 's . Today is my last day to be 20 - anything . It 's 3 : 28 pm and I am feeling the pressure BIG TIME to go do something STUPID as my one last childish and dumb rendezvous . I thought about going and getting some crazy ( temporary ) hair color and doing something wild with my hair tonight ! ! ? ? Anyway , knowing me . . . I 'll end up being so busy that I won 't have time for anything - - but it 's fun to think about anyway . Maybe I 'll just get out some of my " special " Carmen Electra " exercise " videos , get dressed " up " and " work out " for my hubby tonight . Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kissin ' it Goodbye ! into the future . . . . . . Hey ya 'll . I don 't have anything in particular to say at this moment . . . nor do I have but about 3 minutes . . . but I just wanted to say that1 . We are STILL sick around here . ( getting REALLY tired of THAT ! ) I will break down and go to the dr . tomorrow if there isn 't a significant change by then . 2 . I MISS YOU GUYS ! ! ! 3 . I miss blogging ! ! ! 4 . I promise to catch up on all of your blogs a . s . a . p . I read Logzie 's blog this morning ( during breakfast ) and I couldn 't believe how much I have missed ! Made me realize I feel like I don 't know what any of you has been up to lately . 5 . Thanks for all your comforting words about the big THREE OH . It 's coming whether I like it or not . . . and now I only have 2 days left in my 20 's . AUGHHHHHH ! ! ! ! ! Whew , what a week . Don 't know where it went actually . . . seeing as most of it was spent in bed . Ick . Being sick just doesn 't work into my schedule . : o ) Seems like it 's been SO long since I 've really blogged , that I don 't even know where to begin . There are a TON of things I haven 't had time to tell ya 'll - - but none of them are very big or important . First of all , Matt FINALLY got his deer back ! Yay ! It looks so good in our living room as the " center peice " of the big wall . Matt says he can hang out there UNTIL he brings the REALLY big one home this fall ! : o ) Okay , now I am skipping all the way to today because right now , at 11 : 51 pm . . . I honestly cannot think of anything else that happened last week ! So , today , after a whole week of being sick and in bed . . . . we finally started on some antibiotics , got to feeling better . . . and headed off to the lake . Last night we went to BPS and got a new , big 2 - man tube . Then today ( after sleeping till 1 pm ! ! ) we got up , packed up the boat and the truck , packed up the cooler and headed off to the lake . Since we took the boat in last week and had a few things fixed and everything tuned up ( for a whopping $ 500 ) we were sure everything was good to go , other than fillin ' er up with gas ( $ 60 ) . We finally got to the lake around 3 pm and found that the loading dock was WAY underwater . Nevertheless , we followed after the other boaters and just unloaded where the water met the grass . I had to back the truck into the water so deep that water was flooding into the floor of the truck ! ! ! Finally we were in deep enough to get the boat off the trailer . Matt jumped in the boat to start it . . . . but no luck . After trying and trying , we finally asked another boat to give us a jump . Still - - nothing . It wouldn 't even turn over . Talk about being frustrated . It 's bad enough as it is . . . but to have just spent that much money on it to get it tuned up AND we had put 2 hours into getting everything ready and packed up . . . Ugh ! But - - thankfully Matt 's dad stopped at the store and got us a new battery and brought it out Posted by to say that I know it 's been a while since I 've read ya 'll 's blogs and commented on them . . . . . but I promise , I 'm workin ' on it . Life has just been super busy and on top of that . . . . Matt and I are both not feeling up to par . So much so , that I am actually IN bed and going to sleep right now . . . and it 's only 9 : 20 . That is VERY early for me . . . . . but I know I need it . Anyway , I do miss hearing ( reading ) about what you all have been up to and just as soon as I get a chance , I plan to play catch up on your blogs . In the meantime , I hope you are all having a great summer ! I have a husband I fall more in love with every day and 2 kids who have completely stolen my heart . I exercise a bit obsessively and am working out the kinks of living on a Dave Ramsey style budget . I am also a Beachbody Coach and fitness instructor . I enjoy nothing more than spending time with my friends and family ! Oh and one last VERY important thing : I LOVE JESUS ! ! ! I have been around the block . I 'm a veteran in this market . I was making my subscribers profits through both Bush , Obama and now Trump . Wow ! It has been awhile ! Why do I even have a blog ? With pinterest , facebook , emails , etc . , I seldom make time to blog at all . . . that includes post o . . . This is a yummy soup . Hearty , healthy and made my body happy . Gluten free , ( mostly ) dairy free and vegetarian . YUM YUM ! So good . * Vegetable Minestrone . . . So this will be a short post . . . BUT I ' VE MOVED ON TO ANOTHER BLOG / WEBSITE ! Please , for the love of all things that are holy . . . follow me there . I will be lea . . . I should really come around here more than every 3 months . After all , the hope is that one day my boys will read this and know all about their childhood . I . . . YAY ! ! ! It 's the last day of school for Kendall ! Of course , we celebrate the last day of school EVERY year , but this year it 's an even bigger celebration . . . My last post was July 31 . It was my grandparents ' anniversary but it also marked the four year anniversary of this blog . Four years ! I 've enjoyed sharing s . . . For our 5 yr anniversary we went back to a cabin we went to on our 1 yr anniversay ! This time we stayed a week and had lots of fun ! I 'm usuall . . . Ok , I have started a new blog ! I know a little more about blogging now and I am ready to start chronicling my life for all the world to see ( kind of ) ! The . . . OK , I 'm a slacker . . . I just noticed that it has been 2 months since my last post . Believe me , I haven 't been slacking off on my fitness and nutrition . But . . . . . Hahaha ! This workout is waaay super fun ! I really do enjoy it . About halfway through , I want to throw up . I 've never had an at - home DVD that 's able to do t . . .
|
- Good morning . Thank you for having us here . My name is Pastor John Newie . My wife and I have travelled from Moa Island . We have recently moved into the community and we learnt that the panel was here . I would like to thank you for the opportunity . - Yes . Firstly , I would like to thank God for this inquiry . I want to acknowledge our family , Danna , Bob , Chair , Susan , and our member , Jim . Thank you . I have not seen your emails for a while . It cost us at least $ 60 just to travel here by boat , by dinghy . We have presented papers to the committee . There are two petitions , one on fuel and the other on rat infestation at the IBIS store . These issues have been taken up with various government departments but nothing has been done . This is a very serious matter concerning health . I have recently learnt about a submission that they have made to the inquiry . They have said lovely things about the health and quality of the food and about the Australian and New Zealand food health standards that they apply . Recently , my brother - in - law had eight bags that had been eaten . The whole place is infested . They sent a guy round who set baits , but it is not working . If it was happening in the major centres , there would be a shutdown . Because we have only that one store - the other store is in another community on Moa Island , and it costs a lot to travel over there - the prices are unbelievable . We have recently moved from Cairns . We have been here seven weeks and we see the difference in cost . They were talking before about the program at the school . My children go to the school and it costs $ 50 a week for one child at the tuckshop . With three children , it would cost us 150 bucks , but we do our sandwiches at home . We get frozen bread and my wife makes bread . We try to utilise what we have . But I will go back to what Danna mentioned regarding plantation market gardening . These issues are real . It can be done . As I see it , the problem is the availability of land to dam . It is a huge project , but once you have a dam it will bring economic prospects for the community to do market gardening . There is scope for it . These issues are compounding . Wages are the key to bridging the gap to a healthy lifestyle that everyone else enjoys - the CDEP top - up et cetera . My wife and I , as citizens of this region , have submitted our views on all these things to the committee , highlighting various issues that you have highlighted in your inquiry about quality and whether there is profit - because we do not have any competition . There is no incentive for us . There is a lot of nepotism in the government process and there are a lot of obstacles even before we get to what you are inquiring about . We have a domestic situation ourselves . That is all I have to say . We have submitted everything . - It is a rat infestation . We have some photos . We have everything there in our submission . As someone mentioned before , as a statutory body they are obligated under law - and they put out this pretty list of all the compliance that they do ! - My name is Maureen Newie . I am actually a traditional property owner of Badu Island but , because I am married to him - John Newie - I live over on St Pauls . The St Pauls store does not have the capacity to keep the fresh food that comes into the store once a week . It actually keeps the goods in the cooler in the back at night , but during the day for the presentation of the food it is not all kept in the cooler ; it is in the aisles . You actually walk over the fruit and vegies . Because of the size of the store they do not have the room to present it to people from the cooler . So you have all these fruits and vegies that are in the aisles . In this heat it does not last very long . Since we have come from Cairns I have not bought fresh fruit and vegies from the store for the simple reason that by the time you go and have a look it has wilted . If it is not that it is that the store smells of rat urine . The fruit and vegie section smells of rat urine . They are unacceptable standards , so when we have the money we actually drive over to Kubin 's store . That is where I pick up fresh fruit and vegies from , not from the St Pauls store , because of the rat infestation . - That is an IBIS store also . To buy anything at the store the cost is exorbitant . For example , a one - kilo bag of cooked chicken meat that we buy for sandwiches costs me $ 28 at the St Pauls store . If I were to order that from Cairns it would cost me $ 12 . 88 . - Not at St Pauls . We are in the process of getting goods up ourselves from Cairns . We have been there for seven weeks . We have tried to save money and put in one order because of the freight costs . We have had our stuff freighted up in a five - by - five - metre container , and that cost us $ 1 , 500 . That was just to freight our clothes and so on up from Cairns . Like the previous guy was saying , it costs you by cubic metre to freight stuff up . We have just recently placed an ordered to Cairns to have stuff up . I have not worked out the cost of that yet . - Different members of the community have raised our concerns with IBIS . Every time they say , ' There is an island manager ; take it up with the island manager . ' We have raised concerns with Queensland Health . We have raised concerns with the tropical public health unit . Other people have also gone to the quarantine office . That serves both Kubin and St Pauls . We have gone to whoever we can go to . Now we are coming to you to get something done . On top of the prices that we pay , goods are written off daily . The number of goods that are written off is not funny . - I actually spoke to Richard Bowler . Richard Bowler said that there is nothing that he can do about the rat problem . The island managers do not have a voice . - I can assure you there were rats in Bi - Low in Cairns and , as you would remember , it was shut down immediately . If there are rats in IBIS in St Pauls then it needs consideration . It is not only an IBIS issue ; it is a public health issue . I will pursue that . - My name is Keith Taylor . I live at St Pauls . There was a question asked about chickens . I am actually trying to get having chickens off the ground now but at $ 40 a bag for chicken food , layer mash , it is a bit pricey . It is very hard . As for growing things , I have tried growing things at different times but this place has a very wet season and a very dry season when everything dries and there is no water in the dry season . In the dry season I will go down to have a wash in the sea . I have done that before at St Pauls . You cannot have water to put on your crops . It sounds easy : grow it and feed the chickens . But there are always those things , regardless of the snakes and other things we have . As for fuel costs , on St Pauls we have been paying $ 2 . 85 a litre for gasoline . The fuel pump had been broken down - and I have spoken to an office about this - since before Christmas . It was only got going again this week . But we are still paying $ 2 . 85 a litre for fuel . The price went up when everybody else 's price went down . Our price on St Pauls is still up there . So I would like to add those comments . - My name is Charles Coleman . I am the chair of the elders group . Yes , there is a big problem with plants and gardens and things like that . It is very easy to talk about those things , but you have to look at the things that come into it , like water , for instance . St Pauls have got no water . They have got two little ' turkey nests ' , as we and those on the mainland call them , at the back of the village . They want bigger dams . A lot of water just runs off the island . There is a lot of good water for catchment there . I think I have talked to Jason and others about that before . There are a lot of good things that can happen with water . Water is the future of everything . I would like to see a big dam put there . I remember one time when I sat in on a Torres Strait Islands planning meeting . They were talking about dams . There was an aerial photograph of a couple of hills at St Pauls , and it showed you only had to fill in one side of a hill and you would have water for all the Torres Strait . That is what I would like to see . Going to petrol , petrol is very dear ; there is no doubt about it . I have been up here getting on to 60 years . Nothing has changed . I have been in these sorts of government things before . We are meeting a lot of times about things . Seeing Torres Strait in this sort of situation in the year 2009 , it is unreal . I think action has got to be taken for all of my people up here . Nothing has been done . I know there might be a little bit of change , like hot food and all that sort of thing coming in from TI , but it is still down to the basics . It is very hard . There are changes everywhere . People change . Times change . We get into a different way of life . It is hard . I think only the people here know what is best for them - and that is it . You have got to listen to them . I know you cannot give them the lot , but you can try and make some sort of changes . That is all I can say . Thank you . - I believe there was some planning some time ago by the former families from Kubin and from St Paul 's to enclose two hills , on one side , so the potential was there . It is long - term employment in market gardening and it would at least lessen the burden on other things that are brought over from the mainland , particularly with all these changes and the amalgamation that is happening . I believe that a lot of people , with the changes and the amalgamation in different communities down south , are on award wages . But our people up here are not even on award wages , so the problem is compounded because of all these other costs . With the changes in the housing costs now , with the department coming in and setting the ceiling prices - the basic income for a household is , I believe , something like $ 420 a fortnight . We talk about ' below the poverty line ' ; this is below below the poverty line . It is unacceptable . We are Australians and we have the same rights as every Australian , whether we are living here or living in the region of the honourable Mr Katter . Nothing has changed . We desire the same basic human rights as everyone else . These are real issues that are affecting our people in the Torres Strait . The stores issue is compounding it . It goes back to the actual income , because everything is based on income . By the time we pay for electricity which , at $ 50 a week , is $ 600 over three months - whereas when we were living in Cairns we were paying $ 300 for our electricity bill for three months . Here , because we buy a $ 50 card , it costs up to $ 600 for three months . This is ridiculous . How can someone live on these wages ; how can someone be expected to pay these high prices for food and for all these other things ? You are left with nothing . This issue of wages is what it all boils down to : how much people are earning . You have a person who is working for the state government and the state government pays him for only a few hours , and the rest is topped up from the CDEP . This is ridiculous . He is not even getting the full amount of money from the state government which employs him , to claim his property . Take the schools for example . These are issues that are just unacceptable , and that is all I can say . - I would just like to comment on what Bobby is saying in respect of the housing and the rents . It might not seem relevant but a new policy will come in on 1 July . How are we supposed to justify $ 300 a week on a $ 400 income ? That is what the welfare reform agreement will be when it comes into effect in July . My partner and I make only $ 420 each , so that is $ 840 . Out of that will come $ 600 , which will leave us with $ 240 . At IBIS , $ 100 will get us only one bag of food . How are we supposed to survive ? We have been thrown in the deep end for years , and it is like nobody is out there helping us . We need someone to help pull us out and get us up to shallow land . That is what we need . We hope that you are here sitting in front of us to help us , not just to take our voice back and shove it under the carpet . We genuinely need help . - The welfare reform agreement policy that is coming in on 1 July . With housing in the Torres Strait , people with two - bedroom houses are going to have to pay $ 190 a week . Our elders cannot even afford it . For five - bedroom homes , they are going to have to pay $ 300 a week . - We are paying $ 20 to $ 30 a room now because of the high cost of living , because of the food , the freight and everything else that adds up . That is under the old council system . But , when the amalgamation comes in , it will blow everything out of proportion . - Three times as much . The reason I brought this up is that it is relevant because we will not be able to buy our food at IBIS . Like Seriako said - - Can you just let me talk , please ? Like Seriako said , the Torres Strait is full of legislation . We have turtle and dugong management on St Pauls and they are collecting data - for what ? To ban our food sources ? That seems to be what it is leading up to . - To ban our food sources - that is what I think it is leading up to . We have so many restrictions , in every direction we look . Who is helping us out ? That is what I want to know . - The question I wanted to ask you , and I am interested - I am not trying to stop you talking ; when you speak we get to think of lots of questions , which is important - is about the impost of this new rent . Who is it coming from ? It is not coming from the federal government , is it ? - His response was : ' We can 't do anything about it . It is out of our hands until the island manager comes to some solution to fix the rat problems in the community . ' I said to Richard , ' The island manager doesn 't have a say in decision making . He doesn 't have that authority . ' - You have an IBIS store . You obviously also come to Kubin on occasion or to Badu to shop . How do you compare IBIS to , say , the privately owned shops ? - There is a difference in process in IBIS itself when you go to TI , Kubin or St Pauls . I find the private shops here on Badu cheaper than the IBIS stores . Even in the shops on TI I find some of the prices cheaper than in IBIS , and the quality of the fruit and vegies on TI at IBIS is up to the creek . Everyone says See Hops is really expensive , but that is where you find the good quality fruit and vegies . That is where I get my fruit and vegies from , even if it is expensive , because the quality is just no good at IBIS . - It is going up to $ 300 . The Torres Strait Island Regional Council have held meetings in numerous communities to let us know of this new policy . We are all worried . - Am I getting this message across to you ? You fought a long legal battle over 10 years , which is known as the Mabo case . It decided not that a tribe owns this island - I am sorry if I am offending people , but I am just telling you what the law is . It did not decide that a tribe owns this island ; it decided that , if you had a piece of land there that you had held continuously for a period of time , then that piece of land belonged to your family . If someone built a house on that , you owned that house . I am absolutely familiar with this law . - Yes , but what our councillors bring back and tell us is that , once we sign a lease for the house to be put on that land , that land automatically belongs to the government . That is what we have been told . See , we are getting mixed messages . - than anyone that you will ever speak to on this subject . I know it intimately , backwards . I can give you the quotations of the pages on the Mabo decision . I am very good friends with Frank Brennan . I probably see him once a month . I want to say to you that what you are being told is a great big lie . The decision was that that land belonged to you individually , not collectively . The most strongly held principle of British justice is that the fixture upon the land belongs to the person who owns the land . I had advice from the highest level when I was the minister that it did not . I tore it up and threw it in the garbage can , and we actually sued the lawyer who had given us that advice - that he could be so incredibly stupid that he could give that advice . He went out of business soon afterwards . But I am saying to you : this is absolute . Do not back off on this . This is absolute . - Mr Chairman , if I could just say something here . I am very worried about what I have heard in the last two days . People will start suffering seriously from malnutrition . Some of those people will actually die if this goes ahead . - It is an absolute pleasure . The contribution you have made is very important . If there is any material that you would like to give to us in writing , then please feel free to do that . You can get details about how to do that from the staff who are here now . We do not have long left , but I am aware that there are some others in the audience who would like to make a contribution . - I was born on this island in 1938 and I just recently came back again , 2004 . What I am about to say is what Bob said are true words . We will be minced meat from the beginning of time to the end of time . We are still in the cement mixer going around and around and around . The problems are still the same problems . The issues are still the same issues - the housing issue , the education issue , the doctors issue . It is still the same . Education is getting a little bit better now that these new pollies happened here . We have a new doctor up here . He is only here for 18 months then he is gone again . You heard what the other people said here and all these people here , they can back me up . The one that was last in that chair , Jason O ' Brien , I roused on him last time he was here for the very same thing , and he knows that . We have been experimented on from day 1 to this day . You heard the complaint by the people from the next village . Bob was talking about the rent . The rent they want to come in , it is a means test from the housing commission in Brisbane , and I am telling you now that it is immediate . There are four people in one house and you are all working - you make $ 300 , you make $ 300 , you make $ 300 - so therefore you are going to pay more ; with another $ 300 , you are going to pay $ 1 , 200 a week . How are you going to subsidise with all of this CDEP work here ? CDEP is not a state program ; the CDEP belongs to the federal government , its department . The only thing that was pretty standard was demalgamation because it brought the railway union into it . There used to be a union rep for the railway when I was working for him in Brisbane . The things that you want to hear , the people have been telling you , and what Bob said is very true . He used to play football with the Thursday Island boys in Mount Isa that could not go home straight away . I have seen Bob Katter over there . What we want is a government that can say a true word and take a step forward with what they say , not go back or sidestep it . No ! We do not want that government . Next time a government like that comes to Badu Island , I will stop them at the ocean or at the airport if one is still alive . We are getting tired . We argue for the same things over and over and over and over . The central store is affected by rats . Who is feeding those rats ? We are not . We are not feeding them rats . We cannot grow chooks here for one reason : the carpet snakes and pythons come along at night time and rob your chooks so you have no eggs . That is why I called out and said , ' No , we don 't grow chooks . ' For the same reason , then you have to go under the cover of night time . You lay an egg ; he is eating the egg behind you . Those are the predators that we are looking for in this place . Not only this place , but around all of Torres Strait . We are frightened . We cannot grow vegetables . Why not ? Nobody wants to build a dam . We have hills and valleys here that can be dammed , but the government says , ' No , our pockets are empty . ' They always send the same signal . We do not get our bloody wires crossed - no . It is your kind that gets the wires crossed not our kind . Our kind is open . Thank you . - My name is Titom Nona and I live on Badu . Listening to this , I think our main concern is that our housing and food is so expensive . As people were saying before , you have $ 400 to pay your rent and buy your food . That leaves you with nothing for another week . I just heard somebody say they are paying $ 20 for a room , and we are paying more than $ 200 a week . CDEP wages are about $ 400 a week , plus there is the mothers ' benefit where they get money for their kids . Also , we will be paying 25 per cent on top of what we are paying now from 1 June or 1 July . To go back to the CDEP , where is it going to leave us ? When Mr Katter said , ' Those houses are ours ' , does that mean we can keep on fighting to claim those houses ? That is a question for Jim , probably . The cost of living up here is very , very expensive , plus there are the costs for fuel and the supermarket . I heard what they were saying about the supermarket and freight . Still and all , if you pay for what you can buy from the supermarket and pay the rent we are paying now , that leaves you with nothing for another week . But up here in our culture we have a way of asking for things from our relatives : ' Can you spare me a cup of rice ? ' That is our way of living up here . What I suggest is : are we an Eden generation living up here in the Strait where nobody knows us ? If they are paying $ 20 a room and I am paying $ 200 , plus the food costs , you might be spending $ 300 or $ 400 a week . What does that leave you for the other week ? I listened to the two people from our shop . They were talking about freight . For everything they bring to Badu they put a percentage on top to cover their costs . But we are suffering here on our side . That leaves us no way to survive the other week through to the next payday . The cost of living up here is very high . I would certainly like to change places with somebody who can live up here for six months - then see how they feel about the way we live up here . We were talking about planting vegies here . A couple of people died of melioidosis . It is risky . If we got money , like somebody said here before , we could buy something to work on the soil and have safety for the people . We talked about chicken . Recently we had bird flu going around . That is another threat to our community because we are at the front of the disease . We have been monitoring JE for 10 years and we still have JE on Badu . Going back to the cost of living up here , our lives are very expensive . Somebody said it before : we are humans living up here , but still we are struggling . The other thing I want to mention is housing . Money is given to Torres Strait and Aboriginal people but it seems that somebody just keeps taking it away from us . We are not millionaires up here ; we are just working people up here . What I am about to say may offend some people . Other government bodies come up here and talk about the same thing over and over and when they go back they just forget about us . That is why I said before : are we the ' forgotten generation ' up here ? We need somebody to tell us that we own the houses up here on Badu or elsewhere in the strait , because people come and sit in front of us and tell us all sort of stories that go and on and on . We will fight for our rights but the thing is that , when the government makes the decision , at the end of the day , that is it and it puts us in no place . The cost of living up here , like I said , is such that you can eat for one week and starve the other week until pay day again . Plus there is rent . $ 20 a room makes a lot of difference for us . Plus there is food . What else ? There is fuel . We need somebody who can tell us , ' You can pay what you can afford . ' We are not earning that much and we pay so much for our lives here in the strait . Thank you . - Thank you . I saw two other hands . We are way over time at the moment and unfortunately we have a plane to catch . Darrel , did you want to say something ? Can we just be as quick as possible . - I was going to mention some of the things that Titom just mentioned , but I do not need to anymore . I have two questions and one comment . To add to the comments I made earlier , I think we are the only store in the Torres Strait where one of the reasons for our losses was that , whenever we had stock - milk , cheese , bread or whatever - that was approaching its use - by date , we would give it to the people rather than destroy it . They can all vouch for that , I am sure . The people in the Torres Strait cannot survive on the CDEP income they are getting now . Is there any way the government could look at increasing the CDEP for the people up here ? That is one point . Secondly , in Cooktown , Charters Towers or Georgetown , the zone allowance is the same as the zone allowance for people in the Torres Strait - and you have to fly here ; you cannot drive here . Is there any way the government can look at the zone allowance for the people in the Torres Strait ? - With regard to growing your own gardens , we have a horse problem on the island so that when you grow a garden the horses come and eat the leaves off them and trample them . That is another problem that we have here . Mr Katter said something before about having cattle on the island . How are you looking at getting the cattle here - would you barge them up ? The freight is going to be really expensive . Is that something that the government is looking at ? Will the government set up an abattoir here ? - Through you , Mr Chairman , it was very attractive to look at the coconuts . You have places like Nepean , which is just an island completely covered in coconut trees . It is simply a matter of harvesting them and bringing them back somewhere they could be processed . It is very cheap to process them mechanically . So it could be done without plantations - and we could actually get something in from New Guinea as well . They produce two things . Firstly , they produce diesel fuel very cheaply . Secondly , they produce coconut meal , which can comprise 30 to 40 per cent of your cattle fodder . Probably 100 head of cattle would provide a large part of the basic nutritional requirement for almost all of the Torres Strait . Cattle are absolutely fantastic from that point of view . Also , there is then work in processing out the cattle and terrific savings on bringing alternative sources of food up here . It has been pointed out to me that there are some problems with Japanese encephalitis because of the cattle pads . I know a lot about it and I do not regard that as a valid argument . When they throw it at you , I will argue that one for you if you want me to . In answer to your question , 100 head of cattle would be useful , but you would have to look at coconuts as well , which I think would be a terrific idea because of the huge cost of fuel at present up here . - I am from Badu . You have all heard about the rent business and all the costs associated with freight and so on . There is also the matter of charter flights and the costs associated with just getting a plane up here . Some people can go to Bali for $ 800 and you pay that one way just to get home . Even from Badu to Horn Island is about $ 700 to $ 900 a charter and that is just one way . That is just another cost that nobody has mentioned . I would also like to speak about border protection . We have got free movement with the treaty but we need some proactive measures now to deal with all the deadly diseases , as was mentioned before , that we have got in all the villages that are included in the treaty . There needs to be some sort of management of the border protection agencies . It only takes a few diseases to come here . We are the gateway . If we are going to get those diseases here , we are going to take them over there . You protect us in keeping those diseases over the border and we will not take them over to the mainland . There are serious diseases like AIDS , typhoid , malaria and other diseases like that . There are more of them over there . There is a report written by some doctor that outlines every single disease . It states in the report that when , as he expects , some of those diseases come over here some day they are going to wipe out Torres Strait . That concerns me because I have got kids . I just stand here talking , but this place will be the place for my kids and the younger generation . They are a going to live here . Besides food and rent and all the other basic necessities for just living and preserving our lifestyle , there is the invisible thing that goes from a mosquito into our veins or from person to person that will wipe out communities . That is a serious threat . There is AIDS . We have already got HIV that has come across the border . It is all a matter of when it is going to become an epidemic . Health is one of the biggest concerns we have and one of our elders touched on it . We do not want those health - related problems coming across the border . As Brother Titom just said , we want somebody to go there and deal with them . I am only a young fellow but I remember your name from a long time ago , Bob , and you seem to be a fellow who sticks your neck out there and says whatever is on your mind . You are my sort of person . You do not hold anything back . You can swear if you want to as long as you get the message across . I have worked in big departments as well and there are internal cultures there . Some people say things like , ' I am only a minister ; I cannot say this in this area or that area . I will be sensitive about what I say here because I might not be popular over there ' - that sort of thing . People who are popular out in our communities are people who are out there getting slogged by the media , but what they are saying is right . They say , ' We don 't worry about what the media say . We are worried about what this fellow is fighting for and what he is saying . ' One of the biggest things is health . We do not want those diseases in our community affecting our future . Thank you . - Thank you very much . That is going to bring the hearing to an end . I really appreciate the contribution , as does the committee . I thank the Hansard reporters and the secretariat for all the work they have done in making sure that today happened . I will now hand over to Jim Turnour , your local member , to close the morning 's proceedings for us . - I thank everybody for coming along today and take on board the comments I have heard . I am happy to come along here and hear from you , and get yelled at on occasion as well . I have been elected for a bit over a year and cost of living issues are something that I campaigned around and something that I have taken back to Canberra and it is great to see that Richard , Bob and Danna are here to listen directly to you . Part of my challenge is to get more people in the parliament aware of the issues up here . I think that today has been very , very useful in doing that . So thank you very much for coming along . Briefly on the health issues , one of the things that I am trying to do and am working on is getting health facilities across the border so that we can deal with those health issues in Papua New Guinea rather than having them come to our island clinics here in the Torres Strait . I think that you will see progress on that over the next year or two . That is something I am working on as well . Thank you very much . The information you have provided me is very useful . I do appreciate the opportunities to come around and be a regular visitor to your communities . Thank you , Wayne and your office , the island and the traditional owners , for having us again . We do appreciate the experience and knowledge that the elders have provided today as well . Thank you very much . - First of all , I just want to thank our families and members of the public for coming today . I also want to thank families across from Moa Island for coming over here and for providing input . I know that this committee will walk away from here after listening to our grave concerns here . It is very important that we bring this to their attention and it is very important that they take away our concerns and comments with them and do something about the situation . One of the things that we brought up was that not only do we have a lot of social issues but also some of the issues we talked about mean a lot of dollars - millions and millions of dollars . Some speakers have spoken about how you keep coming here and giving us the same rhetoric all the time . I understand that you are an independent body , a parliamentary committee , but we have government people coming here all the time making us promises and we never get anything out . What is happening is that we are losing our lives . Our lifespan already is 17 to 20 years shorter than other people 's and it is not going to improve until the government recognises us as citizens of Australia , not , as somebody mentioned , people living out in the back blocks not cared about . We might be small in numbers in the Torres Strait , but look at people in Tasmania . They have got bigger numbers and maybe they have got electorates that can change the governments . We are only one electorate here in the Torres Strait but we are people too and we need you to consider that . Many times people come up and offer us all these things , but they only look at the baseline . All they look at is the dollar value and how much it is going to cost the government to put in . Understandably , the government has got to raise the funds too from somewhere , whether through taxes or other schemes , but the dollar is shaping our life . They say things like , ' Oh , that 's too much . It 's nice to hear about those problems that the people have there but we haven 't got the money to do anything about them . ' That is what we were saying before : we see you as a ray of hope coming here to our community and listening to our concerns . We would like you to take that back , as I said earlier , and take it to the relevant people and make changes that are going to change our lives . On behalf of the community , I thank all of you for coming to our community on this occasion . Thank you very much , members , for your input and I hope that someday we can see you back here giving us some really good news . Thank you .
|
My grandmother was going to be out of town for a couple of weeks so I secured her permission to shoot in her kitchen and basement . We were set . I relayed the good news to Jeremy and Darren and we scheduled a day to begin filming . Jeremy came over early as usual and helped me prepare everything we needed for the scene . We would require more eggs to destroy and more corn syrup and red food dye for blood . All of these things were readily available at our place of employment . Something was missing though . I couldn 't quite put my finger on it at first but we were shooting Blood Pudding on consumer quality equipment . How do you make it look cinematic on equipment that isn 't designed for that purpose ? Sometime earlier Darren and I tried to make a vampire movie and I used a lot of colored lighting to give it a unique look . Either Jeremy or I thought that the colored lighting would work well in Blood Pudding . The amalgam of colors would make it sort of surreal and give it a dream - like quality . So , we bought some colored light bulbs ( red , blue , green and yellow , not to mention the standard white lights ) to give the movie a distinctive look . JEREMY : As much as I would like to take credit for the colored lights idea this was entirely Joe 's doing . He wanted to experiment with lighting , to enhance the color of blood with red lighting and create a mood by casting a room or a character in a particular color . As the movie progressed Joe became more experimental and began blending lighting in scenes , creating almost dream - like sequences . It really upped the quality of the video , making it look more professional than it actually was . JOE : Jeremy and I set everything up for the shoot . We got the eggs ready , mixed the blood and positioned the lights . We 'd shot the scene before so we already knew what we wanted . We figured it would be a relatively simple task ; begin at noon , end around five or six , tops . All we had to do now was wait for Darren . We did that a lot on the set of Blood Pudding . Darren arrived around one - thirty without so much as an explanation for his tardiness and began applying his Byron make - up . JEREMY : It usually took Dar around an hour to apply his makeup , and this wasn 't because it was some monumental task but because he screwed around and talked a lot while doing so . He 'd begin in the bathroom with his makeup kit and latex , add a touch here and there on his face and then wander into the kitchen where Joe and I were doing last minute testing on the equipment or planning out a shot and try to talk to us . We 'd ask him to please hurry and finish so we could begin shooting . He 'd wander back into the bathroom only to re - emerge a moment later wanting to talk to Joe about something that happened at school that day and so on . Sometimes Joe or I would strategically place ourselves in front of the bathroom door and chat with him in hopes of keeping him in one place long enough to finish his transformation into Byron . JOE : The scene opens with Mother / Father cooking some eggs for breakfast . Byron is crouched in the corner , minding his own business . I know you 've heard this song and dance before but the difference this time was the lighting . The first shot of Byron shows him eating a stick of butter and some bread . We lit him with a yellow light . The Mother / Father started off in a green and white light . When we got to the part where Mother / Father beats Byron in the head with the frying pan we lit the entire kitchen in red . We then did a close - up of Byron to show the aftermath of Mother / Father 's handy - work . We poured red colored corn syrup all over Darren 's head . It was a simple shot . Byron was to then taste the blood . I don 't really remember why we wanted him to do that . It just seemed like something Byron would do . The shoot was going great up to this point . We were all very relaxed on the set , cracking jokes between takes and just having a great time hanging out and doing what we all loved , which was making movies . Jeremy was to crouch down and hold the red light just above Darren 's head to give it the desired look . It was a very uncomfortable position to be in . Easy shot though , wouldn 't take that long to get . Yeah , right ! For some reason it was at this point that Darren and I got the giggles . Before Darren could complete any of the takes either he or I would start laughing . This went on for at least seven takes ; far too many for such a simple shot . Jeremy got a bit irritated at this point ; and rightly so . Finally , we got a usable take and were able to move on . JEREMY : I had to squat into a rather unpleasant position for this take from which I wasn 't allowed to move while I shined the red light on Dar . Now , the first ten to fifteen minutes of this wasn 't exactly a walk in the park but I finally had to be the sourpuss and yell at them to finish the shot as I had lost all feeling in my legs . Joe said all right , called for the next take . . . and he and Dar broke into laughter . JOE : The next thing we shot was Mother / Father standing over Byron , waving the frying pan at him as he shouts , " Haven 't my lessons taught you anything ? " Of course they have . They taught him how to kill ! The shot was at a low angle looking up at Mother / Father . I placed the camera on the corner of the washing machine after the take while I considered our next set up . We were still having a great time , cracking jokes and acting goofy . But as I went to reposition the camera it slipped from my grasp and tumbled to the floor . It seemed to happen in slow motion . The camera hit the floor and we all just stared , dumbfounded . At first we tried to laugh it off . There was nothing else we could do in that situation . I picked up the camera to assess the damage . The laughter stopped . The camera needed to be repaired . No more shooting could take place that day . Tears streamed down our faces . We put the camera in the case and caught a bus to Best Buy . JEREMY : The camera really did seem to fall in slow motion . I remember the three of us stood there , watching in shocked horror as it plummeted to the hard tile floor . The thought that raced through my mind was I can catch it . If I reach for it now , I can catch it . But I couldn 't seem to get my body to follow through with the ideation . Since none of us had a car at the time we trekked to the nearest bus stop and waited impatiently in the scorching hot afternoon sun for the bus that would take us to Best Buy . For a moment I thought our luck was changing for the better when one of the co - managers of our store spotted us as he drove by and asked what we were doing . We told him what had happened , all of us secretly hoping he 'd offer us a ride since he was driving in that direction anyway , but he just said that was a bummer , told us to be on time for work tomorrow , and drove off . JOE : After the camera was repaired it was time to move onward and upward . The next scene took place right after Mother / Father 's death . Byron , very excited that he was now free , leapt out the front door of his house and did a happy dance through his backyard . We shot this simple scene in my parent 's expansive backyard . It was just some random shots of Byron skipping and hopping with joy . Some filler before he met Unicorn Boy . The shoot went smooth and everyone was in good spirits . There was , however , a shot where Byron rolls around a bit on the ground . I noticed later that under his Byron costume Darren was wearing jeans . It didn 't look right . I don 't know why I let this happen . We were running out of time perhaps ? Oh well . It turned out to be an amusing scene that makes me chuckle every time . JEREMY : For those with a watchful eye it 's interesting to note that the knife Byron carries throughout the movie changes from scene to scene . Sometimes it 's a kitchen knife , other times it 's my old hunting knife , and by the end of the film it is an electric drill ! The drill part is easy enough to explain away , since Byron could 've snagged it from the house he eventually holes up in with Unicorn Boy . It 's still funny though . JOE : After the happy dance , Byron wanders into a wooded area and comes across a horned boy in a sheer costume seated regally on a tree - stump . This is the freakish Unicorn Boy . When he spots Byron walking towards him with a knife in his hand he is , of course , startled and a bit afraid . The exchange of dialogue goes a little something like this : It 's very funny to watch this scene now . It was funny then as well , come to think of it . Jeremy and I had a difficult time with a lot of the dialogue in Blood Pudding . It always came out sounding corny . Oh well . We just moved on and let the visuals do most of the talking . JEREMY : The dialogue was pure crap , that 's all there is to it . I wish I could blame the actors but even Brando couldn 't have made this stink - burger of a script sound good . It was corny , yeah , and in a weird way that was part of its charm . Kind of like Edwood D . Wood JR . 's films were charming . Of course , there was more to the dialogue than the few unintelligible remarks mentioned above , but neither Dar nor Jim could remember their lines and we ended up paring it down to the basic elements instead of the whole shebang . Would more dialogue have improved the overall quality of the story ? I doubt it . Sometimes less is better . JOE : Unicorn Boy tells Byron that he escaped from a circus freak show and he thinks someone is following him . Byron tells him they should travel together for protection and the two leave . Just before the scene ends , the bounty hunter Patch appears and surveys the area . I believe this was the first time Jeremy was in the full patch costume for a shoot . He looked pretty cool . He wore a long black duster , a black patch over his eye , black boots , and a black hat . Patch picks up the knife that Byron left behind and then heads after them . JEREMY : Of all the characters I have played ( and I have played quite a few , believe it or not ) Patch is my favorite . I loved dressing up in those duds of his and speaking in a low , raspy voice ala my idol of the time , Mr . Clint Eastwood . There 's just something about bounty hunters that I 've always found appealing . JOE : Byron and Unicorn Boy make their way to some railroad tracks . This scene was just the two of them walking along while Patch watches them from a nearby bridge . Patch unfolds and looks at a Sideshow poster of Unicorn Boy he is carrying with him . He then looks up as the camera zooms into his eye . This set up the flashback scene where the Ringmaster ( aka Mr . McCorman ) hires Patch to retrieve Unicorn Boy , which will be discussed later . The camera then zooms back out and Patch turns and watches Byron and Unicorn Boy trot along in the distance . JEREMY : The Sideshow poster Patch looks at was drawn by yours truly the morning of the shoot . I didn 't have a lot of time so I drew the basic elements of a young man with a horn growing out of his head along with that weird - ass yellow dress - thing he wore . All and all I don 't think it turned out too bad . And another reason we used the railroad tracks a lot was because they were near my grandmother 's house and were , for the most part , an isolated spot to shoot exteriors at . JOE : The next scene involved Byron and Unicorn Boy hiding out in the basement of an occupied home . The day we shot this Darren was very late . Our friend John Mattingly was to play the homeowner . A girl Jeremy had a crush on , Amy Ford , was to play his wife . John didn 't have a lot of time that day because he had to go to work later in the afternoon , so Darren being late was very annoying . The scene went like this : John hears a noise in the basement while playing cards with his wife . He goes to check it out , finds Unicorn Boy and Byron , and attempts to beat them to death with a broom - handle . Byron overpowers and kills him . Then Amy hears the commotion and also goes to check it out . Before she gets there , Patch arrives and grabs her shoulder . JEREMY : We rigged a broom handle so that it would break in two when John hit it over Byron 's arm . We wanted John to really lay into Dar with it but John must have been afraid of hurting him because he would only whack Dar hard enough to break the handle . Still , it remains one of our better attempts at special effects . I also love John 's line when he bursts through the basement door and spots Unicorn Boy . " Who 's down here ? What the . . . ? It 's a freak ! " JOE : John made the most of his brief appearance . He hammed it up big time . He was very funny . Amy on the other hand was a piece of cardboard . She would not make any facial expressions . Nope ! Only a blank stare ! That 's all we got from her . Okay , if that was all we were going to get out of cardboard - girl , so be it . When Patch sneaks up on her and startles her she 's supposed to scream , but she can 't even do that ! She was made of cardboard I tell you , or at least some brand of pulped or pressed paper ! So I screamed for her . I did my very best girlie scream ( which I do quite well ) . It 's funny because she would not even open her mouth to mimic a scream . The scene turned out pretty good despite these obstacles . JEREMY : Amy was as a cashier at Marsh . I took a liking to her and bragged about our budding production company every chance I got . She expressed a genuine interest in acting ( JOE : Are you sure you want to use the word " expressed " to describe her ? ) and asked if there were any parts she might be able to play . I told her the only one available was the wife of a guy whose house is broken into by a couple of freaks who end up killing both of them . She distanced herself from me after that but when she learned that John Mattingly was going to play the homeowner she was all for the role . It seems the girl I had a crush on had a crush on John . It was a strange mixture to have on the set , what with the three of us sitting around ogling each other between takes . Ah well , I don 't hold it against John , he 's a good guy . Amy left acting by the wayside after this brief stint ( small wonder , eh ? ) and the last time I saw her she was about to become a mommy . JOE : With his scene over John headed off to work . Amy bolted out of there as fast as she could without a backwards glance . However , this was just the beginning of the shoot for me , Jeremy , Darren , and Jim . And what a shoot it turned out to be .
|
Posted on April 30 , 2017 by Addison Albright under # AtoZChallenge , A to Z Challenge - 2017 , ' Til Death Do Us Part , Vows Series I 'm participating in the A to Z blogger challenge this year . Since April also is the anniversary month for the release of my novel , ' Til Death Do Us Part , I thought I 'd use that for the theme of my posts . For each letter I will come up with a word that is pertinent to the story , and post a short excerpt featuring it . I thought of the first time I 'd told him I loved him . I sent a renewal of that love out to him and wished him happiness . I thought of a promise we 'd once made to each other and hoped Sam would remember it , too , then my mind zipped back to the pathetic marriage proposal I 'd made and apologized to him in my mind , because he deserved so much better . I was hoping the end would be quick and painless , when awareness that the plane was levelling out broke through the trance . My first thought was " damn , " because I figured we were doomed regardless , but the quick and painless prospect was looking less likely if we hit at a shallower angle . I briefly regretted my reflexive grab for the oxygen mask , figuring that passed out might be a better way to go into the crash than fully conscious , but that regret was short - lived because having the opportunity to say my mental goodbyes to Sam was worth whatever I would face . Henry and Sam Miller - Greene are living the dream . They love their careers - which afford each of them opportunities to travel to exotic locations - they love their home , Sam 's caring family , and each other . They disagree on the subject of adoption , but are fully committed to each other in marriage … ' Til Death Do Us Part . The dream is shattered when Henry 's plane crashes , and he 's presumed dead . But four people - Henry , two other men , and a child - survive undetected on a remote , small , and insignificant island . Will Sam and Henry 's love be able to survive as well ? Henry fights to endure in harsh conditions , never knowing when disaster will strike . Sam struggles with his loss , but with help moves on with his life . Will Sam be able to put aside his new love when he reunites with Henry ? Posted on April 29 , 2017 by Addison Albright under # AtoZChallenge , A to Z Challenge - 2017 , ' Til Death Do Us Part , Vows Series I 'm participating in the A to Z blogger challenge this year . Since April also is the anniversary month for the release of my novel , ' Til Death Do Us Part , I thought I 'd use that for the theme of my posts . For each letter I will come up with a word that is pertinent to the story , and post a short excerpt featuring it . " You 're exaggerating . There 's papaya mixed in with it . It 's not that bad , " I replied . I took a mouthful of the stuff and grimaced . Damn . Maybe it was that bad . Buddy scowled and stared doubtfully at the bowl of spiny greens . Then he rubbed his tummy and sighed . He was hungry , and he was feeling the effects of the constipation from which we were all suffering , so he didn 't put up any more fuss on the subject and just ate it . The silver lining to the problem of not having a pantry full of snack options was that Buddy tended to eat what he was given . It was that or go hungry . Henry and Sam Miller - Greene are living the dream . They love their careers - which afford each of them opportunities to travel to exotic locations - they love their home , Sam 's caring family , and each other . They disagree on the subject of adoption , but are fully committed to each other in marriage … ' Til Death Do Us Part . The dream is shattered when Henry 's plane crashes , and he 's presumed dead . But four people - Henry , two other men , and a child - survive undetected on a remote , small , and insignificant island . Will Sam and Henry 's love be able to survive as well ? Henry fights to endure in harsh conditions , never knowing when disaster will strike . Sam struggles with his loss , but with help moves on with his life . Will Sam be able to put aside his new love when he reunites with Henry ? Posted on April 28 , 2017 by Addison Albright under # AtoZChallenge , A to Z Challenge - 2017 , ' Til Death Do Us Part , Vows Series I 'm participating in the A to Z blogger challenge this year . Since April also is the anniversary month for the release of my novel , ' Til Death Do Us Part , I thought I 'd use that for the theme of my posts . For each letter I will come up with a word that is pertinent to the story , and post a short excerpt featuring it . Yeah , I know that 's kind of cheating , but there aren 't really any words that actually start with an X that apply to the story . Sam 's obsession with Henry getting a seat as near as possible to an exit row , though , is pertinent to the story . This is one of the flashback scenes and is told from Henry 's 3rd - person POV : The student turned and they listened to his footsteps retreat down the hallway . Sam once again peered over Henry 's shoulder . " Have you made your seat selection ? " Henry smiled to himself at Sam 's concern and clicked on the link to make his selection . " Not available . I could sit toward the front for a faster exit when we land . " Henry surrendered without a fight . He knew it would ease Sam 's stress about the trip , and where he sat just wasn 't worth the battle to Henry . " Okay . " He clicked on the seat icon and finalized the purchase . " I 'm tired , " Henry had once made the mistake of saying in the man 's presence . " Hello , tired , " Truman had replied . Face meet palm . But Truman was everything that a father should be . He was responsible , yet didn 't let his other commitments get in the way of what was important to him . He was always there for the family 's milestones . He made time for his family , even family that had been added by marriage , like Henry . Even though he was the man 's son 's husband , not wife . The vision still scared him , and he kept that glimpse to himself . Someday , though . Perhaps someday before long he 'd be ready to move forward with that idea . Just not today . Henry and Sam Miller - Greene are living the dream . They love their careers - which afford each of them opportunities to travel to exotic locations - they love their home , Sam 's caring family , and each other . They disagree on the subject of adoption , but are fully committed to each other in marriage … ' Til Death Do Us Part . The dream is shattered when Henry 's plane crashes , and he 's presumed dead . But four people - Henry , two other men , and a child - survive undetected on a remote , small , and insignificant island . Will Sam and Henry 's love be able to survive as well ? Henry fights to endure in harsh conditions , never knowing when disaster will strike . Sam struggles with his loss , but with help moves on with his life . Will Sam be able to put aside his new love when he reunites with Henry ? Posted on April 27 , 2017 by Addison Albright under # AtoZChallenge , A to Z Challenge - 2017 , ' Til Death Do Us Part , Vows Series I 'm participating in the A to Z blogger challenge this year . Since April also is the anniversary month for the release of my novel , ' Til Death Do Us Part , I thought I 'd use that for the theme of my posts . For each letter I will come up with a word that is pertinent to the story , and post a short excerpt featuring it . Buddy quit laughing and his demeanor changed to concerned . " But what if I fall in ? What if Papa isn 't there to save me again and I get whooshed away ? " I didn 't get the feeling that Buddy was particularly impressed with modern technology as we were able to describe it . At more than four and a half years old , he understood basic concepts like toothbrushes , soft beds , blankets , clothes - it helped that we had scraps to show him - furniture , and solid buildings . He even seemed to understand when we talked about abstract things like customs that were different from how we lived on the island . But mechanical concepts , large numbers , and vast distances tended to stump him . " We won 't let it blow you over , " I reassured him , because that 's what parents did . Or parent figures . We reassured our kids whether we believed it or not . Henry and Sam Miller - Greene are living the dream . They love their careers - which afford each of them opportunities to travel to exotic locations - they love their home , Sam 's caring family , and each other . They disagree on the subject of adoption , but are fully committed to each other in marriage … ' Til Death Do Us Part . The dream is shattered when Henry 's plane crashes , and he 's presumed dead . But four people - Henry , two other men , and a child - survive undetected on a remote , small , and insignificant island . Will Sam and Henry 's love be able to survive as well ? Henry fights to endure in harsh conditions , never knowing when disaster will strike . Sam struggles with his loss , but with help moves on with his life . Will Sam be able to put aside his new love when he reunites with Henry ? Posted on April 26 , 2017 by Addison Albright under # AtoZChallenge , A to Z Challenge - 2017 , ' Til Death Do Us Part , Vows Series I 'm participating in the A to Z blogger challenge this year . Since April also is the anniversary month for the release of my novel , ' Til Death Do Us Part , I thought I 'd use that for the theme of my posts . For each letter I will come up with a word that is pertinent to the story , and post a short excerpt featuring it . It 's Valentine 's Day , several years into Henry 's ordeal , and Sam has moved on with his life , thinking his beloved Henry is dead . As you can probably tell , although Sam has good intentions , and does love Nash , he 's approaching this with a more practical frame of mind than the head - over - heels approach he 'd fallen into with Henry . It is told from Nash 's 3rd - person POV : Nash hummed as he approached the door to his new home . Even after three months , he was still chuffed every time he walked up the path . He put his key in the lock and opened the door . Sam was standing at the gorgeous stone wall , gazing at the photos displayed on the mantel over the fireplace . He smiled when Nash walked in . " Happy Valentine 's Day . " Nash considered the picture Sam was looking at , one of Sam with his first husband . The man had died in a tragic accident almost five years earlier . " No . Henry was an important part of your life . I wouldn 't ask you to erase all evidence of his existence . " " I know . I 'm not going to let a ghost be a threat to our relationship . I 'm actually gratified you 're capable of such a commitment . My experiences in the past left me disillusioned that I 'd ever find a man who wanted the same things I did . " Hope surged through Nash . Sam was in an oddly serious mood . Blurting out that he wanted kids ? On Valentine 's Day ? Making an effort to keep his voice calm and steady , he smiled and said , " I love you , too . And that smells wonderful , by the way . You really don 't mind cooking today ? " Henry and Sam Miller - Greene are living the dream . They love their careers - which afford each of them opportunities to travel to exotic locations - they love their home , Sam 's caring family , and each other . They disagree on the subject of adoption , but are fully committed to each other in marriage … ' Til Death Do Us Part . The dream is shattered when Henry 's plane crashes , and he 's presumed dead . But four people - Henry , two other men , and a child - survive undetected on a remote , small , and insignificant island . Will Sam and Henry 's love be able to survive as well ? Henry fights to endure in harsh conditions , never knowing when disaster will strike . Sam struggles with his loss , but with help moves on with his life . Will Sam be able to put aside his new love when he reunites with Henry ? Posted on April 25 , 2017 by Addison Albright under # AtoZChallenge , A to Z Challenge - 2017 , ' Til Death Do Us Part , Vows Series I 'm participating in the A to Z blogger challenge this year . Since April also is the anniversary month for the release of my novel , ' Til Death Do Us Part , I thought I 'd use that for the theme of my posts . For each letter I will come up with a word that is pertinent to the story , and post a short excerpt featuring it . Because , why not ? This scene takes place early in the morning after Henry and the other survivors washed up on their small island . They 'd been exhausted , drenched , and shivering from shock when they 'd first crawled up the beach the night before , and they 'd dumped their sodden clothes in a pile . They haven 't even exchanged names , yet . It is told from Henry 's 1st - person POV : In my peripheral vision I glimpsed my rescuers about fifteen feet away on either side of me taking care of their own morning bladder needs . I turned and stumbled back up the sand toward the pile of clothes near the threshold between the beach and the foliage of the small island 's interior . They were still in the pile where we 'd left them when we 'd collapsed last night . The " college kid " came up behind us . " We don 't want to miss flagging down a rescue boat or plane , though . We have to stay visible . " Henry and Sam Miller - Greene are living the dream . They love their careers - which afford each of them opportunities to travel to exotic locations - they love their home , Sam 's caring family , and each other . They disagree on the subject of adoption , but are fully committed to each other in marriage … ' Til Death Do Us Part . The dream is shattered when Henry 's plane crashes , and he 's presumed dead . But four people - Henry , two other men , and a child - survive undetected on a remote , small , and insignificant island . Will Sam and Henry 's love be able to survive as well ? Henry fights to endure in harsh conditions , never knowing when disaster will strike . Sam struggles with his loss , but with help moves on with his life . Will Sam be able to put aside his new love when he reunites with Henry ? Posted on April 24 , 2017 by Addison Albright under # AtoZChallenge , A to Z Challenge - 2017 , ' Til Death Do Us Part , Vows Series I 'm participating in the A to Z blogger challenge this year . Since April also is the anniversary month for the release of my novel , ' Til Death Do Us Part , I thought I 'd use that for the theme of my posts . For each letter I will come up with a word that is pertinent to the story , and post a short excerpt featuring it . TransOceanic Flight 3012 is the ( fictional ) ill - fated flight that crashed and began Henry and Sam 's saga . Unbeknownst to Sam ( and the rest of the world ) , Henry and three others have survived and are stranded on a small uncharted island in the South Pacific . Meanwhile , Sam has been grieving and had joined a grief therapy group to help him deal with his loss . This scene is told from Sam 's 3rd - person POV : He continued his story . " At my family 's insistence I saw a personal grief counselor a couple months after it happened . I guess it helped . I was able to function again , but I think it was just too early , too fresh . I wasn 't ready to let go of things , so I still have a lot of issues dealing with this . I have trouble moving on . I think about Henry all the time . " Sam wiped at a tear , sniffed and took a deep breath before continuing . " Losing him was terrible . No matter the circumstances it was going to crush me . But it 's those circumstances that are making it extra difficult for me to progress . There 's no closure , you see . Officially , he was declared dead about nine months later , but there 's just no direct proof , no body , and there never will be . Logically I know he 's dead . I do know it . I accept that as a fact . But still , a small piece of me can 't let go of that glimmer of hope , that tiny possibility that maybe , just maybe , he 's alive out there somewhere . " Henry was on TransOceanic Airlines Flight 3012 that went down in the Pacific more than a year and a half ago . Even accepting that he died , I 'll never stop wondering how . What happened up there ? Was it immediate with no forewarning , no fear , no pain ? Did they know they were crashing and have a terrifying stretch of time falling to their doom ? Was death painful and drawn out ? Was he drowned , trapped , helpless , and terrified ? Henry and Sam Miller - Greene are living the dream . They love their careers - which afford each of them opportunities to travel to exotic locations - they love their home , Sam 's caring family , and each other . They disagree on the subject of adoption , but are fully committed to each other in marriage … ' Til Death Do Us Part . The dream is shattered when Henry 's plane crashes , and he 's presumed dead . But four people - Henry , two other men , and a child - survive undetected on a remote , small , and insignificant island . Will Sam and Henry 's love be able to survive as well ? Henry fights to endure in harsh conditions , never knowing when disaster will strike . Sam struggles with his loss , but with help moves on with his life . Will Sam be able to put aside his new love when he reunites with Henry ? Posted on April 22 , 2017 by Addison Albright under # AtoZChallenge , A to Z Challenge - 2017 , ' Til Death Do Us Part , Vows Series I 'm participating in the A to Z blogger challenge this year . Since April also is the anniversary month for the release of my novel , ' Til Death Do Us Part , I thought I 'd use that for the theme of my posts . For each letter I will come up with a word that is pertinent to the story , and post a short excerpt featuring it . Sam is one of the two main characters in this story . At the beginning of most of the chapters where Henry and Sam are separated , there is a flashback scene chronicling their lives together right up until the night before Henry leaves on his ill - fated trip . This is the first of those flashback scenes , before Henry and Sam have even started dating , and is told from Henry 's 3rd - person POV : Dr . Henry Miller plopped down in the window seat and grinned widely as he stretched out his legs . " I 'm glad you thought to ask for exit row seats , " he told Dr . Sam Greene . " The leg room is great . " Henry thought about the infatuation he harbored for his blue - eyed , sandy blond - haired coworker , sitting obliviously beside him . That was undoubtedly irrational , but Henry opted to ignore the question . Instead he replied , " Before you know it we 'll be on the beach in Honiara collecting data and soaking up the sun . I promise . " Henry and Sam Miller - Greene are living the dream . They love their careers - which afford each of them opportunities to travel to exotic locations - they love their home , Sam 's caring family , and each other . They disagree on the subject of adoption , but are fully committed to each other in marriage … ' Til Death Do Us Part . The dream is shattered when Henry 's plane crashes , and he 's presumed dead . But four people - Henry , two other men , and a child - survive undetected on a remote , small , and insignificant island . Will Sam and Henry 's love be able to survive as well ? Henry fights to endure in harsh conditions , never knowing when disaster will strike . Sam struggles with his loss , but with help moves on with his life . Will Sam be able to put aside his new love when he reunites with Henry ? Posted on April 21 , 2017 by Addison Albright under # AtoZChallenge , A to Z Challenge - 2017 , ' Til Death Do Us Part , Vows Series I 'm participating in the A to Z blogger challenge this year . Since April also is the anniversary month for the release of my novel , ' Til Death Do Us Part , I thought I 'd use that for the theme of my posts . For each letter I will come up with a word that is pertinent to the story , and post a short excerpt featuring it . Regina is Sam 's sister . She 's a relatively minor character , but plays parts in a number of scenes . This scene is from the early chapter where Sam discovers Henry 's plane has gone down . He 's seen the news report on TV and is frantically getting himself ready to go to the airport . This scene is told from Sam 's 3rd - person POV : Back in the living room , he picked up a frame holding his favorite photo from their wedding . In it , Henry 's expressive brown eyes shone as he gazed up into Sam 's . Sam choked back a sob . They had to find him . They just had to . He hurried into the attached garage and saw his sister , Regina , pull into the driveway as he opened the garage door . He went out to meet her . She stepped out of the car , took one look at his face , and apparently recognized that he knew . He closed the garage door and did as instructed because she was right , he wasn 't . He shut his eyes and tried to concentrate on his breathing . His right leg jiggled uncontrollably . Henry and Sam Miller - Greene are living the dream . They love their careers - which afford each of them opportunities to travel to exotic locations - they love their home , Sam 's caring family , and each other . They disagree on the subject of adoption , but are fully committed to each other in marriage … ' Til Death Do Us Part . The dream is shattered when Henry 's plane crashes , and he 's presumed dead . But four people - Henry , two other men , and a child - survive undetected on a remote , small , and insignificant island . Will Sam and Henry 's love be able to survive as well ? Henry fights to endure in harsh conditions , never knowing when disaster will strike . Sam struggles with his loss , but with help moves on with his life . Will Sam be able to put aside his new love when he reunites with Henry ? Posted on April 20 , 2017 by Addison Albright under # AtoZChallenge , A to Z Challenge - 2017 , ' Til Death Do Us Part , Vows Series I 'm participating in the A to Z blogger challenge this year . Since April also is the anniversary month for the release of my novel , ' Til Death Do Us Part , I thought I 'd use that for the theme of my posts . For each letter I will come up with a word that is pertinent to the story , and post a short excerpt featuring it . Poor little Buddy 's quivering lips , to be more specific . The action in this scene takes place immediately after where the " Be is for Buddy " post ends . It 's Henry , Buddy , Garrett , and Devon 's first morning on the island , and Henry has taken Buddy into the island 's interior in search of puddles left from the prior night 's rain . Garrett and Devon are circling the island keeping an eye our for rescue crews . Buddy has attached himself to Henry , but Henry isn 't sure he 'll be able to handle a young child . This scene is told from Henry 's 1st - person POV : One thing I did remember about kids was my sister - in - law saying that was the best way to talk to them . Just use your " matter - of - fact " voice , she 'd told me . Don 't use a coaxing tone or they 'll think it 's something they wouldn 't want to do . Apparently it was as good as challenging the kid to resist or argue with you about it . I never heard her use the wheedling voice I 'd heard random parents in public use when trying to get their kids to behave , and I never heard her raise her voice in anger at the kids , either . She just used a no - nonsense tone . I had to admit , she has some great kids . He actually let go with one hand as I maneuvered to shift us into position . I lowered my face to the puddle and drank first , to give him a demonstration . The water was tepid , but still tasted wonderful . I forced myself to back off so the kid could have a go . " Your turn , Buddy , " I told him , and motioned for him to try . He seemed to understand and lowered his pale blond head toward the puddle . He made some slurping sounds so I figured he was getting something out of it . " You 're doing great . " I laid a hand on his back to encourage him . Perhaps it also made him feel more secure since he let go of me with his remaining hand and slithered forward to improve his angle on the water . There wasn 't much there , and when it became too low for him to get any more water , he pushed up and maneuvered his legs until he was sitting on his little rump looking up at me with woeful hazel eyes and quivering lips . I quickly reassured him . " There 's more , Buddy . We 'll find another one . " It wasn 't exactly a lie . There were more puddles for the time being , but what about when it hadn 't been raining ? Technically the wet season was over . That didn 't mean there wouldn 't be any at all , but not as much . It was my turn to hold the baby to my chest for reassurance . I tried not to think of the wretched end we 'd all have if dehydration was to be our fate . Perhaps we 'd have been better off sinking with the others . I 'd heard drowning was peaceful after the initial gasping intake of water . I didn 't know from personal experience , of course , and I didn 't want to die at all , but wouldn 't anything quick be better than drawn - out pain and suffering ? The idea of Buddy going through that depressed me more than for myself . I didn 't want to watch this trusting child who 'd latched onto me as a surrogate parent , naively putting his innocent life in my hands , die a painful death because I couldn 't figure out how to help him survive . But worse , I didn 't want him to additionally have the fear of dying alone , the last of us to succumb . Henry and Sam Miller - Greene are living the dream . They love their careers - which afford each of them opportunities to travel to exotic locations - they love their home , Sam 's caring family , and each other . They disagree on the subject of adoption , but are fully committed to each other in marriage … ' Til Death Do Us Part . The dream is shattered when Henry 's plane crashes , and he 's presumed dead . But four people - Henry , two other men , and a child - survive undetected on a remote , small , and insignificant island . Will Sam and Henry 's love be able to survive as well ? Henry fights to endure in harsh conditions , never knowing when disaster will strike . Sam struggles with his loss , but with help moves on with his life . Will Sam be able to put aside his new love when he reunites with Henry ? Posted on April 19 , 2017 by Addison Albright under # AtoZChallenge , A to Z Challenge - 2017 , ' Til Death Do Us Part , Vows Series I 'm participating in the A to Z blogger challenge this year . Since April also is the anniversary month for the release of my novel , ' Til Death Do Us Part , I thought I 'd use that for the theme of my posts . For each letter I will come up with a word that is pertinent to the story , and post a short excerpt featuring it . P is for parents - Henry 's parents and Sam 's parents . If you 've been following along you 'll know that the chapters in this book ( mostly ) alternate between Henry 's 1st - person POV and Sam 's 3rd - person POV ( although I 've mostly been sharing from Henry 's chapters ) . But , because Henry and Sam are separated for the first sizable chunk of the book , and it is a love story , there are flashback scenes at the the beginning of each of the chapters where they are separated chronicling the highlights of their lives together from the time they first started dating to the night before Henry leaves on his ill - fated trip . Today 's scene is one of those flashbacks , and is told from Henry 's 3rd - person POV : " No , I don 't think it would make a difference , " replied Henry . " I know you have a hard time understanding that parents could be so resolute in rejecting their own child , but they really don 't want anything to do with me . If it means that much to you guys that I try to extend an olive branch with a wedding invitation , I 'll make the call myself . Seriously , though , I don 't hold out any hope . " Sam 's mom shook her head sadly . " No , I can 't understand it . You 're a wonderful young man . You 're smart and outgoing , you 're kind , you 're witty . I don 't understand a religion that could turn parents against their son simply because he 's attracted to other men - like - minded men - and not to women . It has no effect on how we feel about our son . " " They 're not like you and Truman , Claire . Their lives revolve around their church . If their church says I 'm evil , then to them I 'm evil . " Henry closed his eyes and deliberated . He really didn 't want to call his parents . When he reopened his eyes , Sam 's family members were all still gazing thoughtfully at him . Henry and Sam Miller - Greene are living the dream . They love their careers - which afford each of them opportunities to travel to exotic locations - they love their home , Sam 's caring family , and each other . They disagree on the subject of adoption , but are fully committed to each other in marriage … ' Til Death Do Us Part . The dream is shattered when Henry 's plane crashes , and he 's presumed dead . But four people - Henry , two other men , and a child - survive undetected on a remote , small , and insignificant island . Will Sam and Henry 's love be able to survive as well ? Henry fights to endure in harsh conditions , never knowing when disaster will strike . Sam struggles with his loss , but with help moves on with his life . Will Sam be able to put aside his new love when he reunites with Henry ? Posted on April 18 , 2017 by Addison Albright under # AtoZChallenge , A to Z Challenge - 2017 , ' Til Death Do Us Part , Vows Series I 'm participating in the A to Z blogger challenge this year . Since April also is the anniversary month for the release of my novel , ' Til Death Do Us Part , I thought I 'd use that for the theme of my posts . For each letter I will come up with a word that is pertinent to the story , and post a short excerpt featuring it . This scene takes us back to chapter one when Henry is on the airplane . The older couple mentioned here will get another small role in a later scene . Needless to say , if you 've been following along , they won 't be among the four survivors of the upcoming plane crash . FYI , the young man next to the window in front of Henry is Devon , and the businessman sitting across the aisle from Henry is Garrett . Devon and Garrett will become two the survivors . This scene is told from Henry 's 1st - person POV : I decided the businessman was a tropical produce importer and was meeting with suppliers on the islands . I imagined that the older couple who 'd sat next to me was enjoying an anniversary trip to their original honeymoon spot . I could have asked them , but , like the businessman , I didn 't want to open the door to a conversation that might end up being more than I bargained for . The young man next to the window sitting by the " lesbian couple " seemed to be traveling alone , although he glanced around the plane a few times like he was searching for certain people , so I concluded he was traveling with others who 'd bought their tickets separately . His story , I originally decided , was that he was a rich kid traveling on a whim with his trust - fund buddies . He just didn 't give off that vibe , though , so I changed it to being a college kid on an athletic scholarship , still traveling with his buddies , but using money he 'd saved over the years from part - time jobs , and maybe some birthday and graduation gift cash . Henry and Sam Miller - Greene are living the dream . They love their careers - which afford each of them opportunities to travel to exotic locations - they love their home , Sam 's caring family , and each other . They disagree on the subject of adoption , but are fully committed to each other in marriage … ' Til Death Do Us Part . The dream is shattered when Henry 's plane crashes , and he 's presumed dead . But four people - Henry , two other men , and a child - survive undetected on a remote , small , and insignificant island . Will Sam and Henry 's love be able to survive as well ? Henry fights to endure in harsh conditions , never knowing when disaster will strike . Sam struggles with his loss , but with help moves on with his life . Will Sam be able to put aside his new love when he reunites with Henry ? Posted on April 17 , 2017 by Addison Albright under # AtoZChallenge , A to Z Challenge - 2017 , ' Til Death Do Us Part , Vows Series I 'm participating in the A to Z blogger challenge this year . Since April also is the anniversary month for the release of my novel , ' Til Death Do Us Part , I thought I 'd use that for the theme of my posts . For each letter I will come up with a word that is pertinent to the story , and post a short excerpt featuring it . Poor Nash . He eventually becomes Sam 's new love interest after Henry is presumed dead in a plane crash . I say " poor Nash " because when a book 's blurb ends with the line , " Will Sam be able to put aside his new love when he reunites with Henry ? " we all know what the answer to the question is , right ? But , it doesn 't matter that we already know in our hearts how it 'll turn out - it 's all about the journey getting there . 💕 This scene is Nash 's introduction to the story . It is told from Sam 's 3rd - person POV : The man jumped when he saw he 'd been busted staring . " Sorry . Tough morning . It was cheering me up seeing you sit there with that smile . " " No problem . " Sam made an uncharacteristic snap decision and kicked the chair opposite him out in invitation . " You 're welcome to join me if you want the company . " " You 're not so chubby . " Nash blushed . " Sorry . Again . Sometimes my brain takes a while to catch up to my mouth . " Sam laughed . He found himself drawn to Nash 's lively Sam paused a moment before replying . " Greene . " He 'd already started going by that again at the university . His degrees were in that name , after all . Legally it was still Miller - Greene , but that wouldn 't change unless he remarried . It was a step he couldn 't bring himself to make , although he told himself it was just because changing one 's name was a paperwork pain in the ass . Henry and Sam Miller - Greene are living the dream . They love their careers - which afford each of them opportunities to travel to exotic locations - they love their home , Sam 's caring family , and each other . They disagree on the subject of adoption , but are fully committed to each other in marriage … ' Til Death Do Us Part . The dream is shattered when Henry 's plane crashes , and he 's presumed dead . But four people - Henry , two other men , and a child - survive undetected on a remote , small , and insignificant island . Will Sam and Henry 's love be able to survive as well ? Henry fights to endure in harsh conditions , never knowing when disaster will strike . Sam struggles with his loss , but with help moves on with his life . Will Sam be able to put aside his new love when he reunites with Henry ? Posted on April 15 , 2017 by Addison Albright under # AtoZChallenge , A to Z Challenge - 2017 , ' Til Death Do Us Part , Vows Series I 'm participating in the A to Z blogger challenge this year . Since April also is the anniversary month for the release of my novel , ' Til Death Do Us Part , I thought I 'd use that for the theme of my posts . For each letter I will come up with a word that is pertinent to the story , and post a short excerpt featuring it . " Missing " is how the downed plane if first described in news reports . This scene takes place in chapter two , when Sam first discovers that Henry 's plane has disappeared . It is told from Sam 's 3rd - person POV : The summer semester was beginning , and being relatively low on the food chain at the university meant Sam Miller - Greene was teaching an Introduction to Biology class . His alarm woke him bright and early , and the first thing he did after using the bathroom was look up the status of Henry 's flight on the airline 's website . Apparently it was delayed , otherwise Henry would have called already . He expected to see a landing time , or possibly delay information . Instead he saw something he 'd never seen before : instructions to call a given number for more information . Sam tried not to panic and assume the worst as he turned on the TV and switched to CNN , then reached for his iPhone and dialed the number from the website . He was pacing when CNN came out of the commercial , and he felt his life spin out of control when the first thing he saw , before the anchor even began speaking , was an image of a TransOceanic airplane being shown in the background . The anchor began talking about flight 3012 , saying it was missing . Missing . What the fuck did that even mean ? Had it crashed ? Apparently , the deadpan anchor intoned , that was assumed . The last signal received from the airplane 's transponder had been somewhere north of the Cook Islands , and south of the equator , and there 'd been no sign or transmission from it since . Henry and Sam Miller - Greene are living the dream . They love their careers - which afford each of them opportunities to travel to exotic locations - they love their home , Sam 's caring family , and each other . They disagree on the subject of adoption , but are fully committed to each other in marriage … ' Til Death Do Us Part . The dream is shattered when Henry 's plane crashes , and he 's presumed dead . But four people - Henry , two other men , and a child - survive undetected on a remote , small , and insignificant island . Will Sam and Henry 's love be able to survive as well ? Henry fights to endure in harsh conditions , never knowing when disaster will strike . Sam struggles with his loss , but with help moves on with his life . Will Sam be able to put aside his new love when he reunites with Henry ? Posted on April 14 , 2017 by Addison Albright under # AtoZChallenge , A to Z Challenge - 2017 , ' Til Death Do Us Part , Vows Series I 'm participating in the A to Z blogger challenge this year . Since April also is the anniversary month for the release of my novel , ' Til Death Do Us Part , I thought I 'd use that for the theme of my posts . For each letter I will come up with a word that is pertinent to the story , and post a short excerpt featuring it . Life vests , as you might imagine , are an important detail in a story that involves an airplane crash landing in the South Pacific ocean . This scene takes place in chapter one and takes place after the plane has leveled out after a steep nosedive , but before it ditches in the ocean . It is told from Henry 's 1st - person POV : The screams lessoned , then stopped , although several babies still howled . I held my hands together against my belly to stop their shaking . Whiny moans of various pitches and volumes still arose from all directions , punctuated occasionally by hysterical shouts to shut up . As grating as all of these reactions were - making an already stressful situation even more so - I wasn 't going to judge anyone 's natural response in such extraordinary circumstances . Henry and Sam Miller - Greene are living the dream . They love their careers - which afford each of them opportunities to travel to exotic locations - they love their home , Sam 's caring family , and each other . They disagree on the subject of adoption , but are fully committed to each other in marriage … ' Til Death Do Us Part . The dream is shattered when Henry 's plane crashes , and he 's presumed dead . But four people - Henry , two other men , and a child - survive undetected on a remote , small , and insignificant island . Will Sam and Henry 's love be able to survive as well ? Henry fights to endure in harsh conditions , never knowing when disaster will strike . Sam struggles with his loss , but with help moves on with his life . Will Sam be able to put aside his new love when he reunites with Henry ? Recent Comments Addison Albright on # RainbowSnippets June 17 , 2017 … Jana Denardo on # RainbowSnippets June 17 , 2017 … Addison Albright on # FlashFictionFriday 06 / 23 / 2017 … Nell Iris on # FlashFictionFriday 06 / 23 / 2017 … # FlashFictionFriday … on # FlashFictionFriday 6 / 16 / 2017 … Addison Albright on Release Blitz ! A Way with Word … Nell Iris on Release Blitz ! A Way with Word … Addison Albright on # RainbowSnippets June 17 , 2017 … chakirahotmailcouk on # RainbowSnippets June 17 , 2017 … Addison Albright on Release Blitz ! Drama Queens an … Addison Albright on # RainbowSnippets June 17 , 2017 … Addison Albright on # RainbowSnippets June 17 , 2017 … Nell Iris on Release Blitz ! Drama Queens an … Nell Iris on Treadmill Week 30 & What I … louiselyons013 on # RainbowSnippets June 17 , 2017 … # RiotGrams day 23 on Nell Iris # RiotGrams day 22 on Nell Iris # RiotGrams day 21 on Nell IrisFAMILY HOLIDAY on Iain KellySunshine Blogger Award ( 재미로 ) on 秀賢の空 # RiotGrams day 20 on Nell IrisBarathon Day 2 - Life of Pie on Penguin PonderingsHer name on MyRealPlace # RiotGrams day 19 on Nell Iris # RiotGrams day 18 on Nell Iris Bonus Scenes - Quick Links ' Til Death Do Us PartBonus ScenesFlashback Scenes Retold from Sam 's POVCharacter InterviewsTo Love and To CherishBonus ScenesScenes Retold from Emmitt 's POVCharacter InterviewsCultivating LoveBonus ScenesSnapshots - King Kong vs . The Skinny PirateScenes Retold from George 's POVSnapshots - Photo ShootBonus Scenes
|
My mom loved music . She kept the radio tuned to the oldies station my entire childhood , which has lead to me having a taste for Doo - wop and 50 's music . She especially liked the Beatles , which makes sense given when she grew up and the fact that almost everyone likes the Beatles . As it so often is with parents , it was both surprising and expected . She was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer 9 months ago , and we all knew what the end result would be . We just didn 't know we 'd only have 9 months . The chemo got rougher . She got very dizzy , and fell . Twice . The first time she walked away with a couple of staples in her head ( she wasn 't too enamored with the nurse who removed the staples , but that 's another story ) . The second time she fractured her pelvis ( and was certain she had only pulled a muscle in her leg , so I had to sleep over at her place that night and lift her up when she needed to use the bathroom . In the morning , when she still couldn 't stand , I made her go to the emergency room . Have I mentioned my mother was stubborn ? Good thing I 'm not ! ) and had to spend several weeks in the hospital and then a could more in physical rehab . She did amazingly well , and after all that rehab she was able to walk , though I would have preferred her to use her walker a little more often . Off we went to visit family on Long Island for Thanksgiving . Surely , she could just enjoy this short trip and spend time with her family , right ? Throughout all of this she was getting frailer , though in my mind she was still the big in your face person she was during my childhood ( and adulthood ) . It was always shocking when nurses or doctors would say , " Your mother is so sweet ! " I love my mom , but I would have never called her sweet ( though she was very sweet to the nurses and doctors ! ) . As my mental image of my mother and reality drifted further apart it dawned on me that she didn 't have that long to live . When we found out that her cancer was at the point at which the treating it would do more harm than good she was adamant about one thing : she didn 't want to stay in a hospital or go to a nursing home . Just last week she opted to do hospice at home , and I do believe that was the right choice for her . She didn 't have much energy but she did have her privacy and wasn 't kept up by all that " fucking beeping , " as she would say , from the medical equipment . Also , I 'm glad she isn 't around to yell at me for posting this . She 'd totally not approve of this , especially the pictures . Sorry , mom ! I was not ! It seems Reddit user KodyRite came across my picture somewhere on the Internet ( it happens ) , and decided my face could launch a meme called " Downer Dave . " The idea being : I congratulate someone on some good news , and then add some sad little sentence at the end . Even if I were a frequent Redditor I would never submit a picture of myself to the site . Why ? Because I 'm a fat geek with a beard , the perfect target for untold numbers of insults from Redditors . The comments , as one might expect , aren 't too kind to the chubby bearded fellow claiming to have had sex with some fictional lady . That being said most people seem to be more upset by the text alignment issues in the picture , which is pretty awful . Had I created this picture I can assure you that the text would have been properly aligned , and the joke would have been funnier . My reaction to all this ? Amused befuddlement . I did create a Reddit account so I could comment and say , " Nope , I didn 't post this , " knowing full well that it doesn 't really matter if the story is true . To channel Steven Colbert : it feels true , and that 's good enough . That 's a picture of me 6 years ago ( and many pounds heavier … sheesh . I think I 'm fat now but I forget how much progress I have made ! ) at the Suburban Square Apple Store grand opening . How times have changed . Something about this particular style appeals to me . Given my love of Mission and Arts and Crafts stuff , it is clear I was born about 70 or 80 years too late ( though , what did people DO at work without computers and the Internet ? Seriously , what did they do ? Did they mimeograph funny pictures of cats and send them to one another via inter - office mail ? ) . Marisa and I got married a couple of months ago and I haven 't put up any pictures ! We took a bunch both at the wedding itself and during our honeymoon . I 've collected some of the pics I like best in this post , but if you want to see them all they are on Flickr : While Marisa and I were exchanging vows I thought I saw a random dog walk past . But I knew that no one had brought a dog with them . Turns out the neighbor 's dogs stopped by to wish us well ( this pic was snapped by David Kirpan ) . The first place we stayed at in Vermont was the Inn On Covered Bridge Green , which was just lovely . Norman Rockwell used to own this house . . . though we didn 't actually stay in the house proper . There is a little honeymoon cottage in the back ( which used to be called the ' corn crib ' ) that we stayed in . I 'm certain that Marisa and I will be back to this place again . We left Vermont and went to Lake Placid , New York and stayed at the White Face Lodge , which was very nice indeed . They had brownies waiting for us in our room . You can 't beat that ! Yes , I wore a Hawaiian shirt at the wedding . Marisa has some pictures here and I have some here ( thanks for taking most of the pictures with my camera , David ! ) . We 'll be posting some more shortly . I 'm coming up on my 6 year anniversary as a Wharton employee ( and a Philadelphian to boot ) , and what better way to celebrate than by quitting ? That 's right , today was my last day as a staff member of Wharton Computing where I have learned many things , met lots of great people , and realized that I 'm not really interested in following the traditional IT career path of slowly moving further and further from actual technology . As I was realizing this an exciting opportunity arose . I got an email from Frank ( a man I trust ) asking me if he could pass along my name to some Comcast folks . It seems they were in the market for someone to run their corporate blog , and Frank thought I would be a good fit . I wasn 't looking for a job , but I am never opposed to entertaining options . I gave Frank the go ahead and he sent along my contact info to Comcast . Soon thereafter I was called in for a round of interviews . I honestly didn 't think they would be interested in me given my decidedly non - corporate persona ( and Internet presence ) , but they asked me in for another round of interviews ( always a good sign ) . The second round of interviews found me meeting with a number of people working in the Communications department . After a few hours the interviews were over , and I was impressed with the level of passion and realism that the Comcast folks had about their company . Plus I didn 't think I came off as too much of an idiot , which I find to be helpful in such situations . Soon I heard back from Comcast that they were interested in having me join their team ( after I passed a routine drug test , which was the first time I had ever taken a drug test . . . but that 's a post for another day ) . I had a major career choice to make ( though if you read the title of this post you already know what I decided . Stupid spoilers ) . I 've been working in the University setting for nearly a decade ( gosh , I feel old ) and I 've never worked for a company as large as Comcast so I was a little nervous about potential culture shock . On the other hand , Comcast wanted to pPosted at 11 : 46 PM in Blankbaby Zen , Personal | Permalink I took the week off , as I usually do , in order to entertain my mother in Philadelphia . Every year for the last few years Mom has spent Thanksgiving in Philly . For the last three years ( here are some pics from 2006 and 2005 , it seems like 2007 was the Thanksgiving Flickr forgot ) I 've ordered dinner from DiBruno 's and it was fantastic . I was prepared to do the same thing this year , but Marisa would have none of it . She whipped up a fantastic Thanksgiving feast from scratch and it was very good . Today marks another milestone : I no longer have any credit card debt . Ok , so that 's not REALLY true . I still have a balance on my Amazon credit card but that 's by design . Everything I buy from Amazon goes on that Amazon card because I get double reward points for each Amazon purchase . Once I get enough points Amazon sends me a $ 25 gift certificate in the mail , so I would be a fool not to use the card . The key , though , is that I pay off the balance in its entirety at the end of each month . Where do I get off saying that I no longer have any credit card debt when I clearly have some ? Because I finally paid off the last of the balance on my Citibank card . What 's so important about that ? For some reason Citibank gave me a ridiculous deal a few years ago : a very , very low interest rate on balance transfers and a very high credit limit . I took advantage of this to combine all my credit card debt ( spread over 3 cards ) onto one , so I only had one bill to pay since I 'm a lazy man . The clear benefit being that over time I wouldn 't be paying as much in interest on my debt but the greater benefit , which was entirely unexpected to me , was seeing that big old number in the balance column . That made me really want to get rid of the debt once and for all , and that I did today . It turns out that I 've been writing a book ( I 'm as shocked as you are ) . That 's right , on December 12 ( or there abouts ) you 'll be able to walk into any of a number of fine bookstores and pickup a copy of ' Building a WordPress Blog People Want to Read ' by yours truly ( I 'm told that some Barnes and Noble stores will have a special display with my books . Cool , huh ? ) . Airs Appliances in Philadelphia ( 1119 Chestnut Street for those of you in the area ) has proven me wrong . Not only did we get a great deal , we got great service as well . If you 're looking to buy an appliance in the Philly area you are doing yourself a disservice by not stopping by and chatting with the good folks at Air . Our current refrigerator irks me to no end . I think it is pretty ugly , and since Marisa is a world class foodie it is often packed to the gills with all sorts of food . That 's not a bad thing , but I can never find anything ! And with all that hippy food in there there is hardly any room for ' Scott approved ' foodstuffs ( mostly Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr . Pepper , and yes I am well aware of the dangers of diet soda ) . We were both in favor of getting a new fridge . The world of refrigerators is a wild and varied place . There are awesome professional fridges , very cool retro fridges ( which are super tiny ) , and many more in - between . The space that we have to work with is pretty narrow , in fridge terms . It would seem that manufacturers are making fridges that are about 35 inches wide , which works well for most people . We have a space that , at most , can take a fridge 33 inches wide . We thought we would be stuck with some bottom of the barrel fridge , but we were wrong . We had no plans to actually buy a fridge while we were in Airs ' lovely Center City showroom , mind you . We just wanted to get our hands on some fridges before we ordered one from the web . However , the price ( $ 1139 . 95 ) was better than anything we saw on the internet for the same class of refrigerator and it even included delivery ( which none of the places on the web did ) . Marisa looked at me and said , " Are we going to buy a refrigerator today ? " I said , " It sure looks like it ! " And so we did . The wedding itself was lots of fun , as one might expect from a wedding in a barn . I was worried about what the appropriate attire is for a barn wedding , so I just wore my fancy dress shirt and some nice khakis . It seemed to work . Check out all my pictures from the happy event here . You might notice that Becky and Eric are in very few of the photos . My only explanation is that whenever I hang out with Becky she tells me not to take her picture , so she has conditioned me not to snap her pic ( though this one of Marisa and Becky is very nice indeed . Becky looked great in her blue dress , and Marisa is always pretty ) . As you know , I 've picked up some new shirts as of late . Sadly , the problem with button down shirts is that they need to be ironed before you wear them ( just the thought of wearing a wrinkled shirt to work makes my mother 's voice ring in my head , ' You 're not going out looking like that , are you ? ' Make it stop ! ) , so that 's how I found myself almost out of a house and home this evening . I woke up this morning , almost on time , and hopped in the shower . I then went to my closet to try and decide what to wear . All my shirts were horribly wrinkled , so I picked a blue striped one and fetched the iron . Now , I 'm an ' adult ' but I don 't own an ironing board so I drape a towel over my coffee table and iron things on that . This means that I often rest the iron on top of my TV , which is within easy reach of my ironing board / coffee table . After my shirt was ironed to my satisfaction ( i . e . I couldn 't see any more wrinkles on it , but invariably that means the shirt is about 75 % wrinkle free ) I put the iron on top of my TV , got dressed , and hurried off to work . After many hours at work , slaving over a hot computer , I wearily made my way home . As I stumbled into my apartment , and dropped in my favorite chair to get a moment 's rest I hear an odd noise . It was ticking , but not the ticking of a clock . Have you ever been next to a car that has recently been turned off after driving for a long while ? You know that tick you hear , the metal throwing off heat and expanding ( or contracting . . . whichever one it is ) ? That was the noise I was hearing , but I was pretty sure no one had parked a car in my living room . I scanned the room quickly and that 's when I saw it , sitting on my TV so innocently . An iron on the ' cotton setting , ' happily heating itself , and using up all the water I put into it this morning to iron the very shirt that I was wearing . It is always a nice feeling when you know that someone you care about is very happy . You know the feeling , don 't you ? A sort of warm , squiggly feeling deep inside of you that let 's you know the world isn 't half bad . The ceremony itself was very nice , though the priest 's homily was a little creepy . He managed to bring up pedophilia and having a threesome with Christ in the same homily . It was most impressive . I also nearly managed to make Marisa laugh out loud during the ceremony , which would have been hilarious ( to me at least ) . The first time I heard about BlogPhiladelphia I was doubtful . This had nothing to do with the people behind it , rather I am just naturally a stick in the mud ( which might explain why I am not an entrepreneur . I would have been the one friend of Henry Ford 's who would have said , ' Eh . Who wants a mass assembled car ? ! The people want something hand man , sir ! ' ) . Luckily , despite my reservations and thanks to the charms of Alex and Annie I signed on to not only attend but to lead two sessions ( give me a roomful of people and a microphone and I 'm a happy man . I 'm the most extroverted introvert you have ever met , I tells ya ! ) . Annie , Alex , and the whole Uwishunu and the Philly Tourism Board did a fantastic job putting on this great unconference . The unconference format really highlights the best part of conferences : the conversations you have in the hallways . Instead of making people whisper during panels , the people in the audience are the real experts and they get fools ( like me ) to facilitate the conversation and try and keep it on point . The thing that really surprised me was that people wanted to meet me . Me ? ! Why are these people interested in meeting me ? Strikes me as a little odd , but hey I 'm an egomaniac so I 'll take what I can get . Rob Sandie , President of Viddler , has a great post up recapping all the reasons that BlogPhilly rocked ( and I am not just saying that because he starts off with me and calls me the funniest person imaginable … though that doesn 't hurt . Thanks , Rob ! ) . Check it out , and I 'll be posting another thing or two about BlogPhiladelphia in the coming days . Yes , that 's a picture of me leading a session . Thanks to Tony for taking it ! Check out the BlogPhiladelphia Flickr pool for even more pictures from the event . I have been a busy , busy panda here at WWDC ( that 's Apple 's World Wide Developer 's Conference to you , bub ) . Oh , that 's right , I was so busy leading up to it that I didn 't mention on Ye Olde Blankbaby that I would be in San Francisco this week . I 'm here until Friday , so if you are a Blankbaby reader and you live in the Bay Area now is your chance to meet me ! Anyway , right after the Steve Jobs Keynote I get an email from a producer at CNBC . It would seem Steve Rubel ( thanks , Steve ! ) gave him my name ( and the names of a few of my fellow TUAW bloggers ) because he was looking for someone to appear on Fast Money 's Face2Face segment . They wanted someone to talk about the Keynote , though the catch was that they wanted someone at the conference . Since I 'm currently in SF covering it , they went with little old me . They had me log into a WebEx session , dial up a conference number ( using speakerphone ) and talk into my iSight . They also made me take off my glasses , which made me sad but anything for TV ( there was some glare from the glasses ) . You can check it out here on iTunes and see me try to talk some sense into these fast talking traders ( or you can look at it on Viddler . Thanks , Alex ! ) . I don 't know if I succeeded , but at least I didn 't sound like too much of an idiot . It is useful to keep in mind that I really didn 't have any idea what they were going to ask me about . I knew they wanted to hear the ' Man on the Street ' view of the Keynote but they didn 't give me any specific areas they wanted to talk about . I wanted to talk about Safari 3 being on Windows but they were more interested in the iPhone ( shocking , I know ) . Oh , and thanks to Frank for the kind words . It was quite an intro that Dylan gave me . . . and one I try to live up to though I fail miserably more often than not . What 's that saying , ' being there is 90 % . ' I might have just made that up . Ain 't they cute ? Originally uploaded by blankbaby . This weekend was the wedding of my dear friend Owen to his lovely bride Jess . Check out all the pictures I took here . I 've known Owen for about 12 years now ( has it really been that long ? ) and while I am pretty sucky about keeping in touch with people Owen has made the effort to say in touch with me ( why , we might never know ) . Now that Thad is in Philly I make it out to Allentown more often for some quality Owen time , which is a good thing indeed . Anyway , I hope you enjoy the pictures as much as I enjoyed the wedding . Jess and Owen , here 's to many years of bliss . Everything on this blog is Scott 's opinion , and his opinion alone . It in no way reflects the opinions of his employers , friends , concerned passers - by , or anyone else for that matter . But you 're smart , you knew that already .
|
" How beautiful it is to do nothing , and to rest afterward . " [ Spanish Proverb ] Ius luxuriae publice datum est ( The right to looseness has been officially given ) " Everyone carries a part of society on his shoulders , " wrote Ludwig von Mises , " no one is relieved of his share of responsibility by others . And no one can find a safe way for himself if society is sweeping towards destruction . Therefore everyone , in his own interest , must thrust himself vigorously into the intellectual battle . " Apparently , the crossword puzzle that disappeared from the blog , came back . Sunday , May 31 , 2009 One of the more amusing ( and depressing , ironically ) things I have observed is how we say one thing fervently and believe another subconsciously . I was among the many fans of the Jefferson Airplane back in the day . And I remained so , even when they acknowledged technology with the name change to Jefferson Starship . One of the most memorable lines from the Volunteers album song " We Can Be Together " is : All your private property isTarget for your enemyAnd your enemy isWeBlatantly ungrammatical and " in your face " . And then we learned about the property owned by Grace Slick * , et al , which was fenced in with an electrified fence . One wonders if they were taking their own words to heart in the way that their fans were ? And the title of that song fits so well with the sentiment expressed within it , don 't you think ? I wonder about walled enclaves where the bleeding hearts take refuge from the common man they portray as so noble and deserving . And then there 's the Free Marketeers who would crush all competition if given the opportunity . There is that contradiction of the Evil Rich who steal from the poor but who start and endow the charities the poor so depend upon . " Pride goeth before a fall , " I shout proudly . It is my overwhelming humility that I want you to adore . But adore me from afar . After all , though I worked hard all my life to achieve this fame , I demand my privacy . We must become energy independent but no nuclear plants in my town and keep those bird killing windmills away , too . They mess up my ocean / mountain / desert view . No oil platforms off my pristine beaches full of the obese , either . Speaking of which , my doctor ( who weighs upwards of 300 lbs ) recently told my friend ( who is maybe 30 lbs overweight ) that he must lose some weight . I was immediately nostalgic for the days when doctors endorsed cigarette brands . Hypocrisy is nothing new . Preachers who sin are as old as religion itself . Politician is synonymous with liar . It 's no wonder I am a cynic . What ? You aren 't ? You believe in the human race ? You have hope for the fuPosted by A friend recently suggested I get together with someone with whom I have clashed on occasion . He thought we might collaborate on some project or other , providing differing points of view . I am sure he means well . And it has been useful to pair people with opposite points of view for CNN , Foxnews , and the lesser news and commentary alphabet channels . Useful for their ratings , I suppose . But for the rest of us ? I think we gain very little , if anything . CBS started it on TV with " Point / Counterpoint " in 1971 ( it ran until 1979 ) . And it was quite popular . It even spawned a spoof on SNL 's Saturday Night Live Weekend Update . Who can forget Dan Akroyd 's opening words in most every counterpoint to Jane Curtin ? " Jane , you ignorant slut ! " The spoof managed to skewer both Left and Right equally ( though the show was decidedly liberal leaning ) . Unlike the original version which tried to elevate both to mainstream status . And failed . What CBS did is discover that viewers like to watch people argue . And , eventually , that spawned countless cable channel commentary programs where guests argue constantly , rudely talk over their opponents , then smile and thank the host at the end of the segment . But what did we , the viewers , actually get out of the exchange ? Nothing more than entertainment . The political equivalent to a boxing match that ends in a draw . The Left - leaners hear only the points made in their favor , the Right - leaners come away with the points made in theirs . This bit of entertainment is often tried in newspapers and news magazines . Dueling columnists . Op - Ed pages with a balanced mix of opinion pieces from each side . An attempt to publish equal numbers of letters to the editor from each side . All this seems to do is raise the noise level to intolerable . Well , for me anyway . I stay away from the debate shows . I don 't watch Anderson Cooper , O ' Reilly , and the rest . But that also means I tend to stay away from the rest of the shows because even they have these pseudo - debates now . And I do not think I am alone . You see , the shrillPosted by Serendip + - ity . Coined by Horace Walpole , 1754 . Serendip is an old Persian name for Sri Lanka . * 1754 Horace Walpole , The Letters of Horace Walpole , vol . 2 , Letter 90 , To Sir Horace Mann , Arlington Street , Jan . 28 , 1754 . [ 1 ] " This discovery , indeed , is almost of that kind which I call Serendipity , a very expressive word , which , as I have nothing better to tell you , I shall endeavour to explain to you : you will understand it better by the derivation than by the definition . I once read a silly fairy tale , called " The Three Princes of Serendip ; " as their Highnesses travelled , they were always making discoveries , by accidents and sagacity , of things which they were not in quest of : for instance , one of them discovered that a mule blind of the right eye had travelled the same road lately , because the grass was eaten only on the left side , where it was worse than on the right - - now do you understand Serendipity ? One of the most remarkable instances of this accidental Sagacity , ( for you must observe that no discovery of a thing you are looking for comes under this description , ) was of my Lord Shaftsbury , who , happening to dine at Lord Chancellor Clarendon 's , found out the marriage of the Duke of York and Mrs . Hyde , by the respect with which her mother treated her at table . " Most of my knowledge is gained in the above fashion . I don 't intend to learn things , I tend to absorb them without thinking about it . This both impressed and frustrated my teachers through my school years . After all , they thought they were in charge of my learning . They had no more control over it than I did . We both failed at the task more often than not anyway . But I managed to graduate from high school anyway . The best example of serendipity is something we call Post - It notes . http : / / www . 3m . com / us / office / postit / pastpresent / history _ ws . htmlDr . Spencer Silver , a 3M scientist , discovered the formula for the sticky stuff back in 1968 . But it was Silver 's colleague , Art Fry , who finally came up with a practical use for it . The idea for repositionable notePosted by A number of years ago , Steve Allen had a TV show . On that show , he would make fun of rock and roll by reading the lyrics of a song as a poem . I can imagine how much he might have liked to do the same with Rap lyrics today . As much as I laughed then ( and I liked rock and roll music ) , it made me think about how songs are simply poems put to music . Even our National Anthem , The Star Spangled Banner , is a poem that was later put to music . I have two songs which I love . The first is timeless , a true " standard " , written by Hoagy Carmichael ( music ) and Mitchell Parish ( lyrics ) . Carmichael originally wrote the tune as a mid - tempo jazz instrumental piece in 1927 . In 1930 , it was turned into a sentimental ballad by Isham Jones . It is the words which I love , the way they flow together . The song is one of those rare instances where the music and lyrics , even though written a couple of years apart , combine into a masterpiece that does just as the lyrics say . . . become a song that will not die . And now the purple dusk of twilight timeSteals across the meadows of my heartHearing these words immediately sets a quiet mood of contemplation in my mind . High up in the sky the little stars climbAlways reminding me that we 're apartAnd fill me with the sadness a lonely lover feels . You wander down the lane and far awayLeaving me a song that will not dieLove is now the stardustOf yesterdayThe musicOf the yearsGone bySo few of us have ever avoided a broken heart . And music is the special soother for that ache . A feeling of warm and somehow comforting melancholy permeates my soul each time I hear these words . Sometimes I wonder why I spendThe lonely nightsDreaming of a song . The melody haunts my reverieAnd I am once again with you . When our love was new , and each kiss an inspiration . But that was long ago , and now my consolationIs in the stardust of a song . Beside the garden wall , when stars are brightYou are in my armsThe nightingale tells his fairy taleOf paradise where roses grew . Though I dream in vain , in my heart you will remainMy stardust melPosted by I was going to tell you about two books ; one I just finished and one I am almost finished with reading . But you probably don 't want to read book reviews . Even though these books are very good and you would probably enjoy them immensely . I 'll just provide a short synopsis of each . . . The first is called Picking Cotton . It is the story of two people linked by a crime , an injustice , and finally redemption and reconciliation . The story is revealed in stages , by each of the two . It is really two stories about the same events . It is well worth the read . The second is called Odd Hours . It is the fourth in the Odd Thomas series by Dean Koontz . While you can read any of the series on its own , you will find yourself eventually reading all of them . Mr . Koontz is best known for his horror stories and tales of strange and otherworldly happenings . But his talent for the descriptive phrase and subtle ( and not so subtle ) humor is what makes the Odd Thomas books so enjoyable . Books are something I have always loved . At least since I was old enough to read them on my own . While I enjoyed being read to , I always thought I was missing something . The reader would emphasize something and downplay something else and I always wondered why . Also my imagination had to be restrained ( something I have always found difficult doing ) or else I would miss whole passages ( if not entire chapters ) . I suppose this is why I cannot use the Audio Books . When I learned to read well enough to tackle real books , I jumped in with both feet ( and eyes , I suppose ) . When I was young , I could read more than one book at a time without problem . I could also remember what page I was on so I never dog - eared a page or used a bookmark . Now I can read just barely two and prefer not to . I also need bookmarks ( I still do not dog - ear pages ) . I envy Faye , she gets to read while I drive . This accomplishes two things . First , she gets through books faster and , second , she doesn 't have to shut her eyes in panic while I weave through traffic and take unnecessary risks to get wherevPosted by I often wonder how I got to where I am today . There are many answers , each one dependent upon how you interpret the question . I live in Sebring , FL . The journey here began on Long Island in New York , traveled to North Miami Beach , FL , to Orlando , to Hallandale , to Merritt Island , to the 4 years in the US Navy , and then a brief stay in Los Angeles , to Florida again , back to California ( this time San Diego ) , back to Florida , back to California , to Virginia , to Florida ( Jacksonville ) , to West Palm Beach and , finally , to Sebring . I am retired . The journey entailed some 34 years with the Bell System , including 25 years with AT & T post breakup , until they downsized enough to make it worth my while to retire , gracefully , and find a quiet place to live . I am conservative . I was apolitical until my teens when I felt quite liberal ( or " progressive " as it is trying to be called now ) and stayed that way until I was in my 30s and I began to question those liberal values , until I began to realize they didn 't fit well with me anymore . Eventually , I became quite set in my conservative positions . I am divorced because I really shouldn 't have married that woman in the first place . I am remarried because I met the woman I should have married instead of the first wife . There are many things which I am now that have much to do with the experiences I have had in life . I am a pretty honest person now though I was not always . The times I was not honest changed me . Allowed me to become more honest . I am cynical . Well , I suppose I was more or less cynical throughout my life except when I was very young . Being the youngest of three , it is difficult to keep that innocence which precludes cynicism . Where are you ? How did you get there ? Today is Memorial Day . A day to remember those who gave their lives in service to their country . It is not a day to think about which wars were " good " and which were " bad " . It is a day to thank all those who answered the call to duty , regardless of the cause , and gave their lives so that others might live in peace . It is a day for those of you who believe in God to pray for the souls of those who were lost in wars . It is a day for all to remember those who lost their lives in service to the nation we should hold dear . And a day to remember why those men and women were willing to make the ultimate sacrifice . Thank you ! There 's a lively debate going on over at this site . Creditors Not To Blame For Our Greed . It 's an opinion piece about the problems of debt and greed . Alas , my flesh was weak . I got drawn in , I made a couple of comments . But it is something I feel strongly about . Debt is a terrible master . I know , I have feared it much of my adult life . I started out after the Navy with a new wife and a baby on the way . And no job . In a poor economy headed for recession . I was lucky , I got a job that had security though not great pay . One that had benefits . One that I liked . But we struggled . We lived in a house my mother owned ( a scheme to get rich buying old houses and fixing them up . . . it didn 't pan out ) and paid rent that was enough to barely cover her mortgage payment . We watched our money carefully . We lived frugally . When I was a small child , my parents were struggling to get my father 's business going . We ate a lot of spaghetti , and Spam , and baloney ( it was cheap then ) . In my teens , my parents weren 't well off . My father no longer had his own business but was a salesman . My mother worked as a secretary . She also juggled the finances . And juggled them well . But occasionally dropped a ball or two . There were a few times I came home from school and found the electricity turned off . I knew Mom sometimes cashed a check at the supermarket and deposited the cash to cover a check she had written previously . I was determined never to do that . And I didn 't . But I didn 't have a credit card until 10 years into my marriage . I was 34 . I only got it so that I would be able to rent cars when I traveled . The rental companies would no longer hold your return flight ticket as collateral . Even though I had a card , I paid cash when I returned the car . I tucked money away in a space in my wallet , away from the regular cash , so I would always have something in reserve . Even today , I have a little " mad money " in my wallet . Even though I have a few credit cards . Old habits die hard , I suppose . I was given some advice when I was taking evening claPosted by The summer I turned 15 , I was a skinny kid with a flip attitude . I hung out most of that summer at either the bowling alley , Friday night dances at the Unified Hall , or the 7 - 11 a couple blocks from my house . Loy Diehl was the evening manager there most days . He was a short , thin , guy with a mustache and a friendly manner . He 'd pay me to stock the window shelves in the cooler ; usually in sodas or cigarettes . I was cheap help . 7 - 11 's at that time had no store windows , the whole front of the store was open to the outside . No surveillance cameras , either . He also had an interest in guns and encouraged me to learn about them . He was mostly braggart and what we called a " BS artist . " But he got me interested in guns . There was no way I would be able to own one , my father was not one to have them in the house . Even BB guns were forbidden ( though I had owned a couple of those ) . I bought and read a lot of gun magazines that summer and fall . Loy kept a . 45 revolver under the counter . Small markets like the 7 - 11 's were easy targets for hold up men and that summer there had been a number of robberies in in or near our town . It was a regular topic of conversation when I was hanging out . One night , about 9 , Loy , me , and a regular customer were talking when another guy walked in and headed for the aisles . This guy eventually made his way to the counter and stood just to the left of me . He placed a brown paper bag on the counter and , in a calm voice , told Loy , " Put all the cash in the bag . " Loy laughed and looked at him , saying something like " Yeah , right . " He thought it was some kind of joke . It wasn 't . While Loy was filling the bag with bills from the register , the crook turned toward me and the other customer . He was a stocky guy , blond hair , late 20s or early 30s , fair skin with the scars of a teenage period of heavy acne . He wore a blue sport coat , a blue and yellow plaid shirt , and carried a gun . It was pointed at my stomach . I tended to concentrate on that . He told us , me and the customer , to go to the back of the store and lPosted by I mentioned in Superfluous Things that I don 't handle compliments well . I never have . When I was just a wee lad , I was the Shy One . I was the one burying his face in the hem of Mom 's dress or hiding behind Dad 's leg while adults would try to coax me out ( unsuccessfully . . . unless they had candy ) . I 'd have grown out of that except I had an older brother and an older sister . They would reinforce my shyness and insecurity by telling me that the adults were lying about what a cute and adorable kid I was . They weren 't , of course . Lying , that is . I was cute , I was adorable . Doesn 't matter . The Two were very good at cultivating my natural insecurity and growing it into quite the monster neurosis . It was likely just the normal teasing of siblings and I was just predisposed to turning it into some analyst 's income production device . That is , if I could afford an analyst . Which I can 't because I was never allowed to succeed because of the insecurity created in me as a child by The Two . It has hampered me throughout my life . In sometimes odd ways , it has interfered with relationships . I was stunned , for instance , when a girl I knew told me I was conceited . Not just conceited but " sooo conceited " . I was stunned because this awkward , scrawny , bug - eyed , no talent loser with bad hair who couldn 't dance had nothing whatsoever to be conceited about . Yup , the teen years were not kind to me . Imagine if I had been plagued with acne . I would not have survived . I guarantee it . That was my only good fortune , I had good skin . It , that nose wart called insecurity , followed me out of my teens and into adulthood . Praise was always suspect . My siblings had seen to that . Anytime I got a little praise , one ( or both ) would explain how the giver was " just trying to be kind " or " was up to something . " They reinforced this by doing it themselves on a regular basis . Any kindness towards me was merely a prelude to a prank which would leave me embarrassed and feeling stupid while they laughed in glee . So , naturally , any compliments I received later in lifePosted by It was a rainy morning yesterday and I had nothing much to do ( like most mornings . . . and afternoons ) . I decided I would get my hair cut . And look for a reasonably priced UPS for my sister - in - law , Franny . Her old one had quit working . I had priced replacement batteries but after adding in shipping ( and sometimes taxes ) , it was as cheap to buy a new one . . . if I could get one on sale . So I made the trek in intermittent showers along the highway to the barber and to the stores which might have UPS units . The haircut was to be the least expensive thing I purchased . No surprise there . I found myself in our local Office Depot . I am not a fan of that chain but they do have some bargains from time to time so I always give them a once over when looking at electronics and / or computer needs . As I wandered through the store in search of UPS and surge devices ( something they stash in the most unlikely spot ) , I came across monitors . I have a monitor , of course . It is old but it works . It is a 17 " Hyundai LCD which has developed an annoying habit of taking up to 5 minutes to accept input from my computer . During this time , it 's little power indicator light blinks from green to amber in rapid form . It is not a bad monitor , the picture is good , the size is fine , we have become old friends . But , at age 5 , it 's become a bit senile . As I walked down the computer aisle ( yes , computer , not monitor . . that was an aisle over ) , there was this 20 " LCD model by HP . It was a wide screen model ; 12 " high ( 10 " viewable ) by 20 " wide ( 17 " viewable ) and the requisite 20 " diagonal . Which begs the question : Why do they measure them diagonally ? I do not have the answer to that question but I am sure there is a rational one . In any case , there was this monitor . And there was I . I tried to walk away , really I did . I pretended to admire a different , standard size , monitor but I was secretly stealing glances back at the large one . It knew . It just let the screensaver colors swirl and dance and entice , knowingly . I could almost hear it chuckle . I came back in fPosted by Some likely think I harp on this too much but I am deeply concerned about prejudice and bigotry . There 's an old joke that goes . . . " I don 't like bigots and [ insert racial slur here ] . " Which , to me , sums up the problem . I know people who contend they aren 't prejudiced yet , in almost the same breath , complain about one ethnic group or another . There is a conservative talk show host ( Laura Ingraham ) who has a bit she calls " But . . . Monkeys " . A " But . . . Monkey " is someone who says things like , " I like what Obama 's doing for the country but . . . I am opposed to his controlling GM and Chrysler . " Or , " Cubans are wonderful people but . . . they have turned Miami into a place where you must speak Spanish in order to do anything . " In other words the " Some of my best friends are [ insert ethnic reference here ] " crowd . The question to me is not " Are you prejudiced ? " but " How do you control your prejudices ? " And if you do not think your little prejudice matters much , think again . Your prejudices help influence public opinion . Here 's an example I ran into . . . In order to assess explicit prejudice toward Jews , we directly asked respondents " How much to blame were the Jews for the financial crisis ? " with responses falling under five categories : a great deal , a lot , a moderate amount , a little , not at all . Among non - Jewish respondents , a strikingly high 24 . 6 percent of Americans blamed " the Jews " a moderate amount or more , and 38 . 4 percent attributed at least some level of blame to the group . http : / / bostonreview . net / BR34 . 3 / malhotra _ margalit . phpThere is much more to this survey and story and I urge you to read it . Especially the comments . Read them with an open mind , divorce yourself from your feelings and truly examine the sentiments expressed . I have observed similar feelings by minorities against other minorities . Listen to Farrakhan for 15 minutes and you will find his anti - Jewish sentiment . Or ask the random African - American about Korean grocers . Observe the animosity between various ethnic prison gangs . We often think we are abovePosted by I was pleasantly relaxing on the couch , watching a financial analysis program , something I do each Monday when the markets close . The host was interviewing some tax official from the state of New York who was there to explain about a program where tax delinquents would have their names made public . Now , no one likes tax cheats . Probably because we hate to pay taxes and are extremely jealous of anyone who doesn 't pay them . It 's not fair that they get to cheat and we don 't , right ? The host tries to make a point about the possibility that there might be mistakes made and reputations damaged because of it . The host is a smart man and he knows his job is not to throw softballs but to play Devil 's Advocate from time to time . He explains that government often makes errors and is slow to correct them . He also questions whether this isn 't a bit of strong - arming ? The official starts to talk about fairness in reply . He speaks about how there are so many " overburdened taxpayers " who must pay more because these people are " not paying their fair share . " I was immediately reminded of the storeowners who talk about shoplifters and how they force prices up to pay for the losses . Do any of you believe that prices and taxes would come down if all the shoplifters and all the tax cheats suddenly woke up tomorrow and started on the straight and narrow ? As my dear mother used to say . . . " Horse pucky ! " I think a tax revolt is coming in this country . I really do . Now and then I see a blog where a number of facts are revealed by the blogger . This is usually because they have been tagged and requested to do it . I am not a fan of tagging . I don 't much like obligating others to do something and dislike the pressure I feel to perform on command . On the other hand , I do like the idea of revealing things about myself and reading things about others . We humans are so contradictory , aren 't we ? Anyway , without any prompting or tagging , I decided a few months ago to make a list of ten facts about myself and finally got around to finishing it today . Well , actually , I wrote the whole thing today because all I had written was the line : " Ten facts about me . " 1 . I prefer to be alone more often than being with others . This probably is genetic . My father was the same way . He never told me why so I have had to work out my own reasons why I am this way . 2 . I am afraid to swim in the ocean at night . I believe this has a lot to do with what I have seen in the ocean during daylight . 3 . I flunked my first road test for my driver 's license . My sister took me to the DMV for the test and put the emergency brake ( as it was called then ) on before exiting the car . There were no warning lights or indicators for the brake in those days . I ignored it since it was so out of adjustment as to not impede the car at all . The tester announced I had failed already as I approached the first intersection but told me to continue anyway . 4 . I used to plan major crimes in my head when I was a teen . Not just robberies or burglaries , either . I never carried any of these out as I always found flaws which would have made sure I got caught eventually . 5 . I was 15 when I got stinking drunk for the first time . I recall puking out the window of a friend 's car soon after we left the party . He dropped me off about a mile from my house at 3 AM and I had to walk the rest of the way . You 'd have thought I would have learned from that . I didn 't . 6 . I sometimes feel like I am trapped inside my head . Literally . That I am peering out througPosted by Saturday . I always liked Saturdays . I don 't know why , really . When I was in school , Saturdays were important because they meant no school . But I really didn 't mind going to school so it wasn 't about that . Saturday was a day to do what chores I might have , which were few as I recall . And I ducked those most of the time . But I could sleep in so maybe that was it . From the time I went into the Navy to a short period , maybe a year , before I retired Saturdays were often workdays . Even in high school , when I had a job , I often had to be there on Saturdays . Odd jobs , usher at a movie theater , bellhop , busboy ; all meant Saturday was not a day off . In the Navy , I had weekend duty at least a quarter of the time in port and Saturday was a regular workday when out at sea . The 34 years with various telephone companies ( all under the " Ma Bell " umbrella ) meant at least one Saturday a month , sometimes two , was spent at work . Saturdays at work were different than the regular work week , though . More laid back , quieter . Few demands . Well , not in those high school jobs of course , but the later ones . On the job you could catch up on some reading , attend to those things you put off during the week because of more pressing needs . Although there were rarely pressing needs on my job with the telco . In fact , there were rarely pressing needs on any job I ever had . I sometimes look back and wonder if I was just lucky to fall into jobs where constant work wasn 't a requirement . Or did I subconsciously plan it that way ? I could never have dealt with a production line factory type job . I much preferred the jobs where there were spurts of high activity interspersed with longer ( much longer ) periods of light , or no , activity . Now , of course , Saturday is just a day . Just like any other . No special meaning , no special purpose . Saturn Devouring His Son , a disturbing portrait of the god Saturn consuming one of his children , was one of six works with which Goya decorated the dining room . According to Roman myth , it had been foretold that one of the sons ofPosted by I didn 't really have anything to write about today . Well , that 's not true , there is always something to write about . I 'll be honest ; I am lazy and can 't be bothered . No , that 's only half true . To be perfectly honest , a number of things came to mind but I just couldn 't seem to get started . One of the things was about the Hubble telescope . But , while researching it , I ran into a much more interesting blog on it than I could ever write . I also ran into a much more interesting blogger than I could ever hope to be . His name is Phil Plait and he is an astronomer , author , blogger , and all around smart person . He writes a blog called Bad Astronomy and this is what he wrote yesterday about the Hubble . . . ( click on it to read the article ) Top Ten Things You Don 't Know About Hubble . It includes pictures for those of you who hate to read . Go read it , you won 't be sorry . Heck , just go look through the pictures . Free speech is a powerful right . It frightens people in power , it empowers people out of it . It is one of several that are integral to my country 's history . As a blogger , it is the primary right . Having grown up in this country , I have always taken this right for granted . Even when I was told when to speak by my parents , even when I was told I did not have that right while I was in school . Even at those times , I still thought I had that right and thought nothing more about it . I learned what it was like to not have it while in the Navy . First , because you really do not have that as an unfettered right while you are a member of the military . Your political activity is restricted and your ability to speak out is restricted . It isn 't completely suppressed but it is severely restricted . Second , I visited a couple of countries where freedom of speech was not protected at all . I saw the reluctance in the people of those countries to speak about internal political matters or leaders . There have been three recent examples of free speech in the news that caught my attention . The first is the Beauty Queen incident . I don 't watch beauty pageants . They bore me . And most people , even those who watch such fine entertainment as Judge Judy , Maury , and the E ! cable channel , tend to ignore the telecasts . Less people probably know who the current Miss America is than know who the current vice - president is . This beauty contest was for the Miss USA title . An even lesser known pageant that is the precursor to the Miss Universe contest . Miss Universe ? Are there entrants from Alpha Centauri ? But I digress . . . During this critically important pageant , one of the contestants was asked a controversial question . She was asked to give her opinion on the issue of gay marriage . Since then we have been subjected to regular reports about the trials and tribulations she has suffered as a result of her less than politically acceptable answer . Whether you favor gay marriage or not , what earthly importance is the question to the choice of who will wiPosted by The computer is a wonderful tool . It allows us to maintain records that would otherwise give us writer 's cramp if we had to use pencil and paper . We can sort and catalog incredible amounts of useful and ( more likely ) unuseful information . And not just words . Pictures , too . Throw in a scanner and almost anything can be saved . Except that moth eaten sweater which provides such comfort on a cold winter evening . Eventually , they 'll find a way to do that . Lately , my desktop computer screen has been acting up . Well , I should describe it as " misbehaving " . The normal routine is to push the monitor button then the computer button and then things begin to flash upon the screen . Instead , of late , I get a blinking green light on the monitor button which sometimes continues for 5 minutes . The computer comes up , I suppose . It makes all the proper sounds anyway . But the screen remains blank . A black abyss staring at me from my desk . And , then , just as I have almost resigned myself to head for the computer store to purchase a new monitor * poof * the image appears . The monitor has been playing cat and mouse with me for about 6 weeks now . I noticed that electronic equipment , like humans , get more cantankerous and unreliable with age . We have , apparently , been successful in creating these machines in our own image . One day , it will die . Quietly . In my sleep . I will wake up and it will not . I will then have to make the Journey of Compromise . I have been looking at other monitors since this began . No , to be honest , I have been unfaithful in my heart to that monitor for a couple of years now . Anytime I am in a store which sells these lovely electronic gadgets , I look at the monitors . I am enthralled by the colors they emit , the subtle illusion of depth they can provide , the size of their pixels . And lately , by the feel of them . Oh yes , true touch screens are here . And they are magical . Alas , I cannot afford one . They cost twice as much ( plus ) as the machine I would attach them to . Nothing brings me back to reality than those price tags . I Posted by No , it 's not the name of a pub . I met the frog the other afternoon . I was looking down into the toilet just before flushing and there he ( or she , I suppose ) was looking back at me . He was about 3 inches long , . Well , his body was , I am sure he would have been much longer stretched out with pins in his feet like you would before dissecting him for biology lab . He did look a bit surprised to see me . Possibly as surprised as I was . A few weeks ago , just after I left on my trip to California , I had scheduled a visit by the people who are into excrement . You know who I mean , the people who clear clogged drains , fix leaks , and pump out septic tanks . I don 't know how much these people make but they deserve every penny . Anyway , I learned about 18 months ago that there is a filter in the septic tank and that this filter gets clogged . Therefore , periodically , someone must be paid to open the septic tank and clean out that filter . My job in this regard is merely to pay the people who perform this service . There is no way I would do it myself . Apparently , while this person was cleaning out said filter , and the tank was open , a frog must have found his way in . Either that or he did not properly replace the cover after he was through . In any case , the frog made his way up through the pipes that lead to the tank and found himself at the bottom of my toilet bowl , thereby shocking the both of us . I flushed him . He 'll probably be back . [ 1050 / 1051 / 920 ] The following is something I wrote some time ago . This being Mother 's Day , I thought it was appropriate . . . My mother is slipping away . She 's 89 and she hasn 't been herself for many years . She was diagnosed with Alzheimer 's in her sixties and was put on a wonder drug , of sorts , called Aricept . It held the disease at bay to some extent for decades . Her short term memory went first , of course . But Mom , a clever woman , saw this as a benefit . Every day was a new world , a new life . She always had an optimist 's view of life . Now I don 't know what she sees or hears or knows . This disease took away the woman who raised me . After my father passed away , I took her into my home . We tried to care for as best we could but the time came when we could no longer see to her needs . She has been in the care of some nice people out at an assisted living facility for several years now . I go to see her when I can . . . and when I think I can handle it . It 's hard on me . I remember her as a vibrant , cheerful , witty woman who was always there when I needed her . She could always cheer me up when I was down or life seemed bleak . Now she can 't . Now I have to do that on my own . And the worst is after I have been to visit her . I look for some sign of recognition in her eyes and never see it . I visit just before lunch because she seems the most animated at that time . I try to think of things she used to say to me to cheer me up and repeat them to her in the hopes they 'll somehow break through that fog in her brain . She seems loved by the ladies who tend to her needs . They all speak of her with caring and joy . Some are as sad as I am to see her as she is now . My mother had a way of getting a point across with humor . She would admonish me to be careful by warning me that " If you break your leg , don 't come running to me . " Or , " If you drown , I 'll never speak to you again . " As silly as these were , they stuck in my mind . Nothing seemed serious with her while you still knew how concerned she was . Her humor has failed her now . She doesn 't smile much and , whePosted by It 's time for some more Random Musings on various subjects . Television : I recorded ( and then watched , of course ) a program on BBC America called My Big Breasts and Me . As a male , I am presumed to have a fascination with large sweater puppies . I will admit to having an interest but not an obsession . I have known some guys with an obsession . They 're the ones who keep those magazines and web sites such as Brabusters , Voluptuous , and Cleavage in the money . The program was interesting and educational because it was told from the over - endowed woman 's point of view . My mother was one of these so I heard the complaints early and often . My favorite shows are coming to their season finales . However , I have discovered a whole raft of summer series that run mostly on the cable channels such as Sci - Fi and USA and TNT that are just as good or better . If you are a TV freak , as I have become since retiring and taking root in the couch , and haven 't seen these , let me recommend them : Monk ( USA ) Burn Notice ( USA ) The Closer ( TNT ) Leverage ( TNT ) Doctor Who ( may return as repeats on Sci - Fi and BBCA ) Torchwood ( returning as a 5 episode mini - series ) Dexter ( on Showtime ) Sons of Anarchy ( on FX . . . ok , this one is a Fall show , sorry , but it 's quite good for a Biker Soap ) Humanity in general : While in Las Vegas , I did a lot of people watching . We 're pretty ugly on average . Physically , I mean . We really do come in all shapes and sizes and most of them are pretty bad . Don 't get me wrong , I am no one to talk , I have my own physical faults and not all of them are due to age related sag - itis . But we also dress funny and pair up with our opposites way too often . People are friendly , though . Everywhere I went , I ran into smiles and cheerfulness . Waiters and waitresses , store personnel , desk clerks at motels and hotels , and so on . No one seemed grouchy at all . Maybe they were just happy to be working in a down economy but even the people on the street seemed happy . And not just in Las Vegas . The desert : The desert fascinates me as an environment . I don 't like it , Posted by Cheri Sabraw suggested I write a piece on curiosity and why , maybe how , it paralyzes me . The line she had read was The power of my curiosity paralyzes me . Like most things , the sentence has more meanings than one realizes when one writes it or reads it for the first time . Curiosity is very powerful . It has driven human advancement from the trees and plains of prehistory to the houses and skyscrapers of today . Along the way it has spawned wars , built civilizations ( and destroyed them ) , and spread humankind all over the world . It is , in my belief , an instinct . It is not learned , it exists in most ( if not all ) sentient animals . What we humans have done is learn to focus that instinct . Instead of just jumping from thing to thing , like your cat does , we develop interests , we create disciplines , and we establish schools to cultivate these things . Even within these schools , we break down the curiosity paths into departments and specialties . This is how we have created and evolved doctors , lawyers , scientists , politicians , philosophers , warriors , artists of all disciplines , and all the myriad endeavors of human beings . And , above all , we idolize the Renaissance Man , the jack of all trades . The poet who paints and crafts and questions and explains . The Leonardo Da Vincis . Well , after we subject them to trials on charges of heresy , perhaps . The sentence that piqued Cheri 's curiosity really just means I am undisciplined . I never learned to focus my energy into one or two primary fields . I find everything linked together in some manner and each new thing I learn triggers some wonder about how that impacts ( or impacted ) another thing . For instance , the sentence was in a piece about traveling through the desert which touched on a dam ( hardly mentioned ) , a bridge ( hardly mentioned ) , low and high desert , a meteor crater , geology ( more hinted at than mentioned ) , and human development and expansion throughout the world . I cannot sum up what I think about these various things in a paragraph , maybe not in an entire blog , but maybe in a chaPosted by As most of you know by now , I was once in Uncle Sam 's Navy . Enlisting seemed like a good idea at the time . That changed quickly . . . while on the plane flight to boot camp , actually . It took me a few years to settle into it . Had circumstances been a little different , I might have made a career of it . I did enjoy a good portion of my time . Once you have been to sea , it beckons to you forever . Well , I suppose it helps not to suffer from seasickness . I have passed by Mobile , AL , more than a few times since I left the Navy as I traveled back and forth between the coasts . Each time , I saw the USS Alabama moored at the Battleship Memorial Park . Yet I never stopped . I always had a reason not to stop " this time " . But on my return from California this time , I made sure I would stop and pay her a visit . I served aboard a destroyer . The USS Brinkley Bass DD - 887 , to be exact . The " Bass " was just over half the length of the Alabama , less than half her width . You could have fit three of the " Bass " inside her . Battleships were no longer in service when I enlisted . One , the New Jersey , was brought back into service in 1968 to use in the Vietnam War . I missed a chance to visit her while we both served . Arriving in the morning , I entered the park and found a parking place . Though it isn 't a large area , there are enough things to see that it would be good to plan to spend at least 3 hours . Bring a picnic lunch and make a good half day out of it . The Alabama is not the only thing to see . There is a B - 25 bomber , along with a number of other planes , helicopters , and jets to see . There are tanks and armored vehicles and even a WWII submarine ( the USS Drum ) . But the main attraction is the Alabama . And she certainly stands out . No one takes you on a tour , you just follow colored arrows as you go through hatches and climb up and down ladders to just about every part of the ship . The handout you are given explains each point of interest . Each description sparked a memory of my own ship and its equivalent . There were only a few people around when I paid my entry fee and walked aboard . A much broader and more stable " brow " ( or gangway ) than I had encountered in the Navy greeted me just past the " screw " ( propeller ) mounted by the ship . Everything about this ship was bigger than what I had been accustomed to on board the Bass . In fact , compared to my little ship , this was a luxury liner . The only tight spaces , comparatively , were the 16 " gun turrets . Outside , they were huge , but inside was another story . Space is a premium and as wisely used as possible . My ship had only two 5 " gun mounts . They were quite large to me then but these 16 inchers dwarfed them . I cannot imagine the sound of a salvo from one of those mounts . You can see the Alabama 's 5 " gun mounts to the right in this picture . Those same mounts took up much of the bow and fantail on the Bass . If you live near a port , of any kind , and you hear or read of a Navy ship 's visit that includes a public tour , take the time to go . See how our sailors live each day as they serve their country . You won 't be sorry . I once lived about 33 miles from DC . Manassas was a small city , quiet . Most folks seemed to work elsewhere , either in DC or in the cities closer to it that had businesses with ties to government . When I lived there , it was the Reagan years . 1986 and 1987 , to be exact . And I worked in a hole in the ground . Behind blast doors . Right near where Ollie North lived , actually . But this has nothing to do with politics . It has to do with economics and service . I thought I was alone in this observation but then I read the following . . . With a hard economy thinning the supply of ready consumers , shouldn 't we expect businesses to do more to keep them happy ? Yes , says Lopo Rego , a marketing expert at the University of Iowa , who has studied customer service in strong and weak economies . During the boom of the late 1990s , he observed that the quality of customer service had slipped badly . The tight labor market had drained the pool of good workers at the wages that stores and fast - food restaurants were paying . Businesses that hired lazy , careless and rude staff found that offended consumers were quickly replaced . You can read the whole opinion column here . I made a similar observation in the DC area during the 80s . You see , the DC area is pretty much recession - proof . No matter what happens in the rest of the country , the federal government just keeps going . Unemployment is low . Business is always good . Hotels and motels are in demand , housing is expensive and in demand . Stores were always full of shoppers , restaurants were always crowded , streets were full of cars going here , there , and everywhere . Customer service stank . Cashiers were rude and impatient , salespeople couldn 't be bothered , waiters were in no hurry , smiles were rare . In 1988 , I moved to Jacksonville . The economy there was not so good at that time . Housing was cheaper and readily available . Stores weren 't so crowded . Smiles were readily available and service was fine . It wasn 't just southern hospitality . It was a desire to keep the customer happy and to keep the boss hapPosted by While traveling through the desert from Las Vegas , I headed past Lake Mead and the Hoover Dam . I took only a couple of pics . One to show a bit of the construction on the new bridge and the other to show how much the lake has dropped due to the drought that has been ongoing for some time . On the left is the progress made so far on the new bridge which will be part of a new freeway through the area . No more snaking through the mountains . On the right is Lake Mead , the white areas on the hillsides show the pre - drought level of the lake . After leaving that area , I traveled for many miles through the desert as we all might imagine it to be : sand , rock , cacti and dry . . . very dry . Which prompted me to take out a bottle of water and open it in my lap . That 's when I realized just how thin the plastic of the new bottles are . They squeeze too easily when you place the bottles between your thighs to so you can twist off the cap while driving . As the cap twists loose , water is forced out and into your lap . Thus , it becomes unlikely that you will be stopping anytime soon unless you can ignore the stares of others regarding that damp spot in your crotch area . I drove on . . . After a couple of hours , I began climbing into the mountains and greener pastures . The high country of Arizona is quite beautiful . I have only been through the mountains in Arizona in the Summer and Spring . I understand the winters are not harsh , though . I get this from my brother - in - law who lives north of Phoenix , above Sedona . I am not so sure , I have been in the high desert in Winter and the wind cuts right through you . As I moved down into the high desert from the Flagstaff area , I came to the turnoff for one of the places I wanted to see on the way back . Meteor Crater is truly in the middle of nowhere . It is a 6 miles south of I - 40 and surrounded by terrain that is the definition of " empty . " It is what I imagine the Gobi Desert looks like . It is flat , it is desolate , it is sun baked . It seemed to be a large flat area surrounded by mountain peaks far in the dPosted by I arrived home at around 8 PM on Saturday . The last leg , through Alabama and Florida , was on crowded highways . I have no idea why . Just a lot of traffic for no reason that I could discern . It was not pleasant , especially after the last gas stop where the nozzle 's auto cutoff failed to work . The gas flowed over and down the side of the car . A nice mess . And the gas station , a Shell station at Exit # 399 on I - 75 , had known about the faulty nozzle for at least a day . A note on the pump might have been useful . . . So , I get home . I pull into the garage . I sit for a moment , basking in the peace and quiet of no movement . And then I begin gathering up the trash , the little items sitting on the passenger seat , put away the sunglasses , grab the coffee cup , and start transferring things from car to house . Faye greets me and then starts helping . Out come the loose clothes , the two bags full of clean and dirty clothes ( and shoes ) . The rest of the trash is cleaned out . And then I hear it . A buzzing . Like bees . Above my head . Inside the garage . I look up , thinking it must be the fluorescent light above the car . It isn 't . At first , I just stare . In the odd light that fluorescent emit , the insects appear white . Bees or large flies , but white . A couple inside the light 's cover , a larger number buzzing around outside of it or crawling on the outside or on the ceiling . Weird things . I back out the car . I grab a spray bottle of some bug spray and spray the light and ceiling area around it . They don 't appear to react except maybe to bathe in it happily . I pull Faye 's car out and spray the light over her space also since they are also buzzing around that light too . Then I pull both cars back in and go in the house . The next morning , I go out to the garage and look for corpses . This is what they looked like . Please forgive the fuzziness of one of the pics . Either I moved or I snapped it when the camera had not quite focused yet . As far as I can tell , they are some kind of deer flies . The shape and eye formation seems to bear that out . But the eyPosted by Some months ago I wrote a piece about prejudice . I offered a list of words and asked readers to examine the pictures that they brought to mind . The purpose of the exercise was to point out that , whether we realize it or not , we have prejudices and biases . Most of the time , these cause no harm to others . They are simply " quirks " to us if we don 't readily recognize them for what they are . If we do recognize them , we can learn to cope with them . We cannot purge them completely , in my opinion , though we might think we can . Though we certainly might want to . No , these prejudices remain as a part of us . They influence how we view the world . This is fine if we understand how this happens , what they do . It is not so fine when we think we do not have them or , even worse , when we think they are justified in some way . Yes , sometimes we really believe they are justified . I have met a number of people who have tried to explain how they weren 't prejudiced until some incident or some experience caused them to be . Someone just recently tried to explain this to me . He told me how he had been exposed to this terrible behavior by a certain ethnic group . How that behavior turned him against those people . He reminded me of others who had told me similar stories about their experiences which justified , to them , their dislike and distrust of entire class of people . There are members of my family which have related the same kinds of stories to me . It 's all bull . And I think these people , in their hearts , know that . That 's what really bothers me . I really do believe that , deep down , these people realize they have a prejudice ( or two or three ) . These are simply rationalizations for something that cannot be justified . Not unless stereotypes are not stereotypes at all . She couldn 't point to any incident or experience that caused that fear . She didn 't know why that prejudice existed . But the important thing I learned was that she recognized that it was a prejudice . She didn 't let that prejudice fool her by rationalizing it . That was the important lesson . I don 't know if it was the intended lesson or she was just getting something off her chest . It is much worse to rationalize prejudice . It lets you believe you are better than others when you are worse . And when we accept those reasons , or ignore the prejudice of others , we are just as bad . I write this because I have had to remove the blog from my OBTR list of someone I thought was witty , intelligent , and clever . Unfortunately , I cannot tolerate his bigotry regarding a certain group . It saddens me more than you can know .
|
" How beautiful it is to do nothing , and to rest afterward . " [ Spanish Proverb ] Ius luxuriae publice datum est ( The right to looseness has been officially given ) " Everyone carries a part of society on his shoulders , " wrote Ludwig von Mises , " no one is relieved of his share of responsibility by others . And no one can find a safe way for himself if society is sweeping towards destruction . Therefore everyone , in his own interest , must thrust himself vigorously into the intellectual battle . " Apparently , the crossword puzzle that disappeared from the blog , came back . Sunday , May 31 , 2009 One of the more amusing ( and depressing , ironically ) things I have observed is how we say one thing fervently and believe another subconsciously . I was among the many fans of the Jefferson Airplane back in the day . And I remained so , even when they acknowledged technology with the name change to Jefferson Starship . One of the most memorable lines from the Volunteers album song " We Can Be Together " is : All your private property isTarget for your enemyAnd your enemy isWeBlatantly ungrammatical and " in your face " . And then we learned about the property owned by Grace Slick * , et al , which was fenced in with an electrified fence . One wonders if they were taking their own words to heart in the way that their fans were ? And the title of that song fits so well with the sentiment expressed within it , don 't you think ? I wonder about walled enclaves where the bleeding hearts take refuge from the common man they portray as so noble and deserving . And then there 's the Free Marketeers who would crush all competition if given the opportunity . There is that contradiction of the Evil Rich who steal from the poor but who start and endow the charities the poor so depend upon . " Pride goeth before a fall , " I shout proudly . It is my overwhelming humility that I want you to adore . But adore me from afar . After all , though I worked hard all my life to achieve this fame , I demand my privacy . We must become energy independent but no nuclear plants in my town and keep those bird killing windmills away , too . They mess up my ocean / mountain / desert view . No oil platforms off my pristine beaches full of the obese , either . Speaking of which , my doctor ( who weighs upwards of 300 lbs ) recently told my friend ( who is maybe 30 lbs overweight ) that he must lose some weight . I was immediately nostalgic for the days when doctors endorsed cigarette brands . Hypocrisy is nothing new . Preachers who sin are as old as religion itself . Politician is synonymous with liar . It 's no wonder I am a cynic . What ? You aren 't ? You believe in the human race ? You have hope for the fuPosted by A friend recently suggested I get together with someone with whom I have clashed on occasion . He thought we might collaborate on some project or other , providing differing points of view . I am sure he means well . And it has been useful to pair people with opposite points of view for CNN , Foxnews , and the lesser news and commentary alphabet channels . Useful for their ratings , I suppose . But for the rest of us ? I think we gain very little , if anything . CBS started it on TV with " Point / Counterpoint " in 1971 ( it ran until 1979 ) . And it was quite popular . It even spawned a spoof on SNL 's Saturday Night Live Weekend Update . Who can forget Dan Akroyd 's opening words in most every counterpoint to Jane Curtin ? " Jane , you ignorant slut ! " The spoof managed to skewer both Left and Right equally ( though the show was decidedly liberal leaning ) . Unlike the original version which tried to elevate both to mainstream status . And failed . What CBS did is discover that viewers like to watch people argue . And , eventually , that spawned countless cable channel commentary programs where guests argue constantly , rudely talk over their opponents , then smile and thank the host at the end of the segment . But what did we , the viewers , actually get out of the exchange ? Nothing more than entertainment . The political equivalent to a boxing match that ends in a draw . The Left - leaners hear only the points made in their favor , the Right - leaners come away with the points made in theirs . This bit of entertainment is often tried in newspapers and news magazines . Dueling columnists . Op - Ed pages with a balanced mix of opinion pieces from each side . An attempt to publish equal numbers of letters to the editor from each side . All this seems to do is raise the noise level to intolerable . Well , for me anyway . I stay away from the debate shows . I don 't watch Anderson Cooper , O ' Reilly , and the rest . But that also means I tend to stay away from the rest of the shows because even they have these pseudo - debates now . And I do not think I am alone . You see , the shrillPosted by Serendip + - ity . Coined by Horace Walpole , 1754 . Serendip is an old Persian name for Sri Lanka . * 1754 Horace Walpole , The Letters of Horace Walpole , vol . 2 , Letter 90 , To Sir Horace Mann , Arlington Street , Jan . 28 , 1754 . [ 1 ] " This discovery , indeed , is almost of that kind which I call Serendipity , a very expressive word , which , as I have nothing better to tell you , I shall endeavour to explain to you : you will understand it better by the derivation than by the definition . I once read a silly fairy tale , called " The Three Princes of Serendip ; " as their Highnesses travelled , they were always making discoveries , by accidents and sagacity , of things which they were not in quest of : for instance , one of them discovered that a mule blind of the right eye had travelled the same road lately , because the grass was eaten only on the left side , where it was worse than on the right - - now do you understand Serendipity ? One of the most remarkable instances of this accidental Sagacity , ( for you must observe that no discovery of a thing you are looking for comes under this description , ) was of my Lord Shaftsbury , who , happening to dine at Lord Chancellor Clarendon 's , found out the marriage of the Duke of York and Mrs . Hyde , by the respect with which her mother treated her at table . " Most of my knowledge is gained in the above fashion . I don 't intend to learn things , I tend to absorb them without thinking about it . This both impressed and frustrated my teachers through my school years . After all , they thought they were in charge of my learning . They had no more control over it than I did . We both failed at the task more often than not anyway . But I managed to graduate from high school anyway . The best example of serendipity is something we call Post - It notes . http : / / www . 3m . com / us / office / postit / pastpresent / history _ ws . htmlDr . Spencer Silver , a 3M scientist , discovered the formula for the sticky stuff back in 1968 . But it was Silver 's colleague , Art Fry , who finally came up with a practical use for it . The idea for repositionable notePosted by A number of years ago , Steve Allen had a TV show . On that show , he would make fun of rock and roll by reading the lyrics of a song as a poem . I can imagine how much he might have liked to do the same with Rap lyrics today . As much as I laughed then ( and I liked rock and roll music ) , it made me think about how songs are simply poems put to music . Even our National Anthem , The Star Spangled Banner , is a poem that was later put to music . I have two songs which I love . The first is timeless , a true " standard " , written by Hoagy Carmichael ( music ) and Mitchell Parish ( lyrics ) . Carmichael originally wrote the tune as a mid - tempo jazz instrumental piece in 1927 . In 1930 , it was turned into a sentimental ballad by Isham Jones . It is the words which I love , the way they flow together . The song is one of those rare instances where the music and lyrics , even though written a couple of years apart , combine into a masterpiece that does just as the lyrics say . . . become a song that will not die . And now the purple dusk of twilight timeSteals across the meadows of my heartHearing these words immediately sets a quiet mood of contemplation in my mind . High up in the sky the little stars climbAlways reminding me that we 're apartAnd fill me with the sadness a lonely lover feels . You wander down the lane and far awayLeaving me a song that will not dieLove is now the stardustOf yesterdayThe musicOf the yearsGone bySo few of us have ever avoided a broken heart . And music is the special soother for that ache . A feeling of warm and somehow comforting melancholy permeates my soul each time I hear these words . Sometimes I wonder why I spendThe lonely nightsDreaming of a song . The melody haunts my reverieAnd I am once again with you . When our love was new , and each kiss an inspiration . But that was long ago , and now my consolationIs in the stardust of a song . Beside the garden wall , when stars are brightYou are in my armsThe nightingale tells his fairy taleOf paradise where roses grew . Though I dream in vain , in my heart you will remainMy stardust melPosted by I was going to tell you about two books ; one I just finished and one I am almost finished with reading . But you probably don 't want to read book reviews . Even though these books are very good and you would probably enjoy them immensely . I 'll just provide a short synopsis of each . . . The first is called Picking Cotton . It is the story of two people linked by a crime , an injustice , and finally redemption and reconciliation . The story is revealed in stages , by each of the two . It is really two stories about the same events . It is well worth the read . The second is called Odd Hours . It is the fourth in the Odd Thomas series by Dean Koontz . While you can read any of the series on its own , you will find yourself eventually reading all of them . Mr . Koontz is best known for his horror stories and tales of strange and otherworldly happenings . But his talent for the descriptive phrase and subtle ( and not so subtle ) humor is what makes the Odd Thomas books so enjoyable . Books are something I have always loved . At least since I was old enough to read them on my own . While I enjoyed being read to , I always thought I was missing something . The reader would emphasize something and downplay something else and I always wondered why . Also my imagination had to be restrained ( something I have always found difficult doing ) or else I would miss whole passages ( if not entire chapters ) . I suppose this is why I cannot use the Audio Books . When I learned to read well enough to tackle real books , I jumped in with both feet ( and eyes , I suppose ) . When I was young , I could read more than one book at a time without problem . I could also remember what page I was on so I never dog - eared a page or used a bookmark . Now I can read just barely two and prefer not to . I also need bookmarks ( I still do not dog - ear pages ) . I envy Faye , she gets to read while I drive . This accomplishes two things . First , she gets through books faster and , second , she doesn 't have to shut her eyes in panic while I weave through traffic and take unnecessary risks to get wherevPosted by I often wonder how I got to where I am today . There are many answers , each one dependent upon how you interpret the question . I live in Sebring , FL . The journey here began on Long Island in New York , traveled to North Miami Beach , FL , to Orlando , to Hallandale , to Merritt Island , to the 4 years in the US Navy , and then a brief stay in Los Angeles , to Florida again , back to California ( this time San Diego ) , back to Florida , back to California , to Virginia , to Florida ( Jacksonville ) , to West Palm Beach and , finally , to Sebring . I am retired . The journey entailed some 34 years with the Bell System , including 25 years with AT & T post breakup , until they downsized enough to make it worth my while to retire , gracefully , and find a quiet place to live . I am conservative . I was apolitical until my teens when I felt quite liberal ( or " progressive " as it is trying to be called now ) and stayed that way until I was in my 30s and I began to question those liberal values , until I began to realize they didn 't fit well with me anymore . Eventually , I became quite set in my conservative positions . I am divorced because I really shouldn 't have married that woman in the first place . I am remarried because I met the woman I should have married instead of the first wife . There are many things which I am now that have much to do with the experiences I have had in life . I am a pretty honest person now though I was not always . The times I was not honest changed me . Allowed me to become more honest . I am cynical . Well , I suppose I was more or less cynical throughout my life except when I was very young . Being the youngest of three , it is difficult to keep that innocence which precludes cynicism . Where are you ? How did you get there ? Today is Memorial Day . A day to remember those who gave their lives in service to their country . It is not a day to think about which wars were " good " and which were " bad " . It is a day to thank all those who answered the call to duty , regardless of the cause , and gave their lives so that others might live in peace . It is a day for those of you who believe in God to pray for the souls of those who were lost in wars . It is a day for all to remember those who lost their lives in service to the nation we should hold dear . And a day to remember why those men and women were willing to make the ultimate sacrifice . Thank you ! There 's a lively debate going on over at this site . Creditors Not To Blame For Our Greed . It 's an opinion piece about the problems of debt and greed . Alas , my flesh was weak . I got drawn in , I made a couple of comments . But it is something I feel strongly about . Debt is a terrible master . I know , I have feared it much of my adult life . I started out after the Navy with a new wife and a baby on the way . And no job . In a poor economy headed for recession . I was lucky , I got a job that had security though not great pay . One that had benefits . One that I liked . But we struggled . We lived in a house my mother owned ( a scheme to get rich buying old houses and fixing them up . . . it didn 't pan out ) and paid rent that was enough to barely cover her mortgage payment . We watched our money carefully . We lived frugally . When I was a small child , my parents were struggling to get my father 's business going . We ate a lot of spaghetti , and Spam , and baloney ( it was cheap then ) . In my teens , my parents weren 't well off . My father no longer had his own business but was a salesman . My mother worked as a secretary . She also juggled the finances . And juggled them well . But occasionally dropped a ball or two . There were a few times I came home from school and found the electricity turned off . I knew Mom sometimes cashed a check at the supermarket and deposited the cash to cover a check she had written previously . I was determined never to do that . And I didn 't . But I didn 't have a credit card until 10 years into my marriage . I was 34 . I only got it so that I would be able to rent cars when I traveled . The rental companies would no longer hold your return flight ticket as collateral . Even though I had a card , I paid cash when I returned the car . I tucked money away in a space in my wallet , away from the regular cash , so I would always have something in reserve . Even today , I have a little " mad money " in my wallet . Even though I have a few credit cards . Old habits die hard , I suppose . I was given some advice when I was taking evening claPosted by The summer I turned 15 , I was a skinny kid with a flip attitude . I hung out most of that summer at either the bowling alley , Friday night dances at the Unified Hall , or the 7 - 11 a couple blocks from my house . Loy Diehl was the evening manager there most days . He was a short , thin , guy with a mustache and a friendly manner . He 'd pay me to stock the window shelves in the cooler ; usually in sodas or cigarettes . I was cheap help . 7 - 11 's at that time had no store windows , the whole front of the store was open to the outside . No surveillance cameras , either . He also had an interest in guns and encouraged me to learn about them . He was mostly braggart and what we called a " BS artist . " But he got me interested in guns . There was no way I would be able to own one , my father was not one to have them in the house . Even BB guns were forbidden ( though I had owned a couple of those ) . I bought and read a lot of gun magazines that summer and fall . Loy kept a . 45 revolver under the counter . Small markets like the 7 - 11 's were easy targets for hold up men and that summer there had been a number of robberies in in or near our town . It was a regular topic of conversation when I was hanging out . One night , about 9 , Loy , me , and a regular customer were talking when another guy walked in and headed for the aisles . This guy eventually made his way to the counter and stood just to the left of me . He placed a brown paper bag on the counter and , in a calm voice , told Loy , " Put all the cash in the bag . " Loy laughed and looked at him , saying something like " Yeah , right . " He thought it was some kind of joke . It wasn 't . While Loy was filling the bag with bills from the register , the crook turned toward me and the other customer . He was a stocky guy , blond hair , late 20s or early 30s , fair skin with the scars of a teenage period of heavy acne . He wore a blue sport coat , a blue and yellow plaid shirt , and carried a gun . It was pointed at my stomach . I tended to concentrate on that . He told us , me and the customer , to go to the back of the store and lPosted by I mentioned in Superfluous Things that I don 't handle compliments well . I never have . When I was just a wee lad , I was the Shy One . I was the one burying his face in the hem of Mom 's dress or hiding behind Dad 's leg while adults would try to coax me out ( unsuccessfully . . . unless they had candy ) . I 'd have grown out of that except I had an older brother and an older sister . They would reinforce my shyness and insecurity by telling me that the adults were lying about what a cute and adorable kid I was . They weren 't , of course . Lying , that is . I was cute , I was adorable . Doesn 't matter . The Two were very good at cultivating my natural insecurity and growing it into quite the monster neurosis . It was likely just the normal teasing of siblings and I was just predisposed to turning it into some analyst 's income production device . That is , if I could afford an analyst . Which I can 't because I was never allowed to succeed because of the insecurity created in me as a child by The Two . It has hampered me throughout my life . In sometimes odd ways , it has interfered with relationships . I was stunned , for instance , when a girl I knew told me I was conceited . Not just conceited but " sooo conceited " . I was stunned because this awkward , scrawny , bug - eyed , no talent loser with bad hair who couldn 't dance had nothing whatsoever to be conceited about . Yup , the teen years were not kind to me . Imagine if I had been plagued with acne . I would not have survived . I guarantee it . That was my only good fortune , I had good skin . It , that nose wart called insecurity , followed me out of my teens and into adulthood . Praise was always suspect . My siblings had seen to that . Anytime I got a little praise , one ( or both ) would explain how the giver was " just trying to be kind " or " was up to something . " They reinforced this by doing it themselves on a regular basis . Any kindness towards me was merely a prelude to a prank which would leave me embarrassed and feeling stupid while they laughed in glee . So , naturally , any compliments I received later in lifePosted by It was a rainy morning yesterday and I had nothing much to do ( like most mornings . . . and afternoons ) . I decided I would get my hair cut . And look for a reasonably priced UPS for my sister - in - law , Franny . Her old one had quit working . I had priced replacement batteries but after adding in shipping ( and sometimes taxes ) , it was as cheap to buy a new one . . . if I could get one on sale . So I made the trek in intermittent showers along the highway to the barber and to the stores which might have UPS units . The haircut was to be the least expensive thing I purchased . No surprise there . I found myself in our local Office Depot . I am not a fan of that chain but they do have some bargains from time to time so I always give them a once over when looking at electronics and / or computer needs . As I wandered through the store in search of UPS and surge devices ( something they stash in the most unlikely spot ) , I came across monitors . I have a monitor , of course . It is old but it works . It is a 17 " Hyundai LCD which has developed an annoying habit of taking up to 5 minutes to accept input from my computer . During this time , it 's little power indicator light blinks from green to amber in rapid form . It is not a bad monitor , the picture is good , the size is fine , we have become old friends . But , at age 5 , it 's become a bit senile . As I walked down the computer aisle ( yes , computer , not monitor . . that was an aisle over ) , there was this 20 " LCD model by HP . It was a wide screen model ; 12 " high ( 10 " viewable ) by 20 " wide ( 17 " viewable ) and the requisite 20 " diagonal . Which begs the question : Why do they measure them diagonally ? I do not have the answer to that question but I am sure there is a rational one . In any case , there was this monitor . And there was I . I tried to walk away , really I did . I pretended to admire a different , standard size , monitor but I was secretly stealing glances back at the large one . It knew . It just let the screensaver colors swirl and dance and entice , knowingly . I could almost hear it chuckle . I came back in fPosted by Some likely think I harp on this too much but I am deeply concerned about prejudice and bigotry . There 's an old joke that goes . . . " I don 't like bigots and [ insert racial slur here ] . " Which , to me , sums up the problem . I know people who contend they aren 't prejudiced yet , in almost the same breath , complain about one ethnic group or another . There is a conservative talk show host ( Laura Ingraham ) who has a bit she calls " But . . . Monkeys " . A " But . . . Monkey " is someone who says things like , " I like what Obama 's doing for the country but . . . I am opposed to his controlling GM and Chrysler . " Or , " Cubans are wonderful people but . . . they have turned Miami into a place where you must speak Spanish in order to do anything . " In other words the " Some of my best friends are [ insert ethnic reference here ] " crowd . The question to me is not " Are you prejudiced ? " but " How do you control your prejudices ? " And if you do not think your little prejudice matters much , think again . Your prejudices help influence public opinion . Here 's an example I ran into . . . In order to assess explicit prejudice toward Jews , we directly asked respondents " How much to blame were the Jews for the financial crisis ? " with responses falling under five categories : a great deal , a lot , a moderate amount , a little , not at all . Among non - Jewish respondents , a strikingly high 24 . 6 percent of Americans blamed " the Jews " a moderate amount or more , and 38 . 4 percent attributed at least some level of blame to the group . http : / / bostonreview . net / BR34 . 3 / malhotra _ margalit . phpThere is much more to this survey and story and I urge you to read it . Especially the comments . Read them with an open mind , divorce yourself from your feelings and truly examine the sentiments expressed . I have observed similar feelings by minorities against other minorities . Listen to Farrakhan for 15 minutes and you will find his anti - Jewish sentiment . Or ask the random African - American about Korean grocers . Observe the animosity between various ethnic prison gangs . We often think we are abovePosted by I was pleasantly relaxing on the couch , watching a financial analysis program , something I do each Monday when the markets close . The host was interviewing some tax official from the state of New York who was there to explain about a program where tax delinquents would have their names made public . Now , no one likes tax cheats . Probably because we hate to pay taxes and are extremely jealous of anyone who doesn 't pay them . It 's not fair that they get to cheat and we don 't , right ? The host tries to make a point about the possibility that there might be mistakes made and reputations damaged because of it . The host is a smart man and he knows his job is not to throw softballs but to play Devil 's Advocate from time to time . He explains that government often makes errors and is slow to correct them . He also questions whether this isn 't a bit of strong - arming ? The official starts to talk about fairness in reply . He speaks about how there are so many " overburdened taxpayers " who must pay more because these people are " not paying their fair share . " I was immediately reminded of the storeowners who talk about shoplifters and how they force prices up to pay for the losses . Do any of you believe that prices and taxes would come down if all the shoplifters and all the tax cheats suddenly woke up tomorrow and started on the straight and narrow ? As my dear mother used to say . . . " Horse pucky ! " I think a tax revolt is coming in this country . I really do . Now and then I see a blog where a number of facts are revealed by the blogger . This is usually because they have been tagged and requested to do it . I am not a fan of tagging . I don 't much like obligating others to do something and dislike the pressure I feel to perform on command . On the other hand , I do like the idea of revealing things about myself and reading things about others . We humans are so contradictory , aren 't we ? Anyway , without any prompting or tagging , I decided a few months ago to make a list of ten facts about myself and finally got around to finishing it today . Well , actually , I wrote the whole thing today because all I had written was the line : " Ten facts about me . " 1 . I prefer to be alone more often than being with others . This probably is genetic . My father was the same way . He never told me why so I have had to work out my own reasons why I am this way . 2 . I am afraid to swim in the ocean at night . I believe this has a lot to do with what I have seen in the ocean during daylight . 3 . I flunked my first road test for my driver 's license . My sister took me to the DMV for the test and put the emergency brake ( as it was called then ) on before exiting the car . There were no warning lights or indicators for the brake in those days . I ignored it since it was so out of adjustment as to not impede the car at all . The tester announced I had failed already as I approached the first intersection but told me to continue anyway . 4 . I used to plan major crimes in my head when I was a teen . Not just robberies or burglaries , either . I never carried any of these out as I always found flaws which would have made sure I got caught eventually . 5 . I was 15 when I got stinking drunk for the first time . I recall puking out the window of a friend 's car soon after we left the party . He dropped me off about a mile from my house at 3 AM and I had to walk the rest of the way . You 'd have thought I would have learned from that . I didn 't . 6 . I sometimes feel like I am trapped inside my head . Literally . That I am peering out througPosted by Saturday . I always liked Saturdays . I don 't know why , really . When I was in school , Saturdays were important because they meant no school . But I really didn 't mind going to school so it wasn 't about that . Saturday was a day to do what chores I might have , which were few as I recall . And I ducked those most of the time . But I could sleep in so maybe that was it . From the time I went into the Navy to a short period , maybe a year , before I retired Saturdays were often workdays . Even in high school , when I had a job , I often had to be there on Saturdays . Odd jobs , usher at a movie theater , bellhop , busboy ; all meant Saturday was not a day off . In the Navy , I had weekend duty at least a quarter of the time in port and Saturday was a regular workday when out at sea . The 34 years with various telephone companies ( all under the " Ma Bell " umbrella ) meant at least one Saturday a month , sometimes two , was spent at work . Saturdays at work were different than the regular work week , though . More laid back , quieter . Few demands . Well , not in those high school jobs of course , but the later ones . On the job you could catch up on some reading , attend to those things you put off during the week because of more pressing needs . Although there were rarely pressing needs on my job with the telco . In fact , there were rarely pressing needs on any job I ever had . I sometimes look back and wonder if I was just lucky to fall into jobs where constant work wasn 't a requirement . Or did I subconsciously plan it that way ? I could never have dealt with a production line factory type job . I much preferred the jobs where there were spurts of high activity interspersed with longer ( much longer ) periods of light , or no , activity . Now , of course , Saturday is just a day . Just like any other . No special meaning , no special purpose . Saturn Devouring His Son , a disturbing portrait of the god Saturn consuming one of his children , was one of six works with which Goya decorated the dining room . According to Roman myth , it had been foretold that one of the sons ofPosted by I didn 't really have anything to write about today . Well , that 's not true , there is always something to write about . I 'll be honest ; I am lazy and can 't be bothered . No , that 's only half true . To be perfectly honest , a number of things came to mind but I just couldn 't seem to get started . One of the things was about the Hubble telescope . But , while researching it , I ran into a much more interesting blog on it than I could ever write . I also ran into a much more interesting blogger than I could ever hope to be . His name is Phil Plait and he is an astronomer , author , blogger , and all around smart person . He writes a blog called Bad Astronomy and this is what he wrote yesterday about the Hubble . . . ( click on it to read the article ) Top Ten Things You Don 't Know About Hubble . It includes pictures for those of you who hate to read . Go read it , you won 't be sorry . Heck , just go look through the pictures . Free speech is a powerful right . It frightens people in power , it empowers people out of it . It is one of several that are integral to my country 's history . As a blogger , it is the primary right . Having grown up in this country , I have always taken this right for granted . Even when I was told when to speak by my parents , even when I was told I did not have that right while I was in school . Even at those times , I still thought I had that right and thought nothing more about it . I learned what it was like to not have it while in the Navy . First , because you really do not have that as an unfettered right while you are a member of the military . Your political activity is restricted and your ability to speak out is restricted . It isn 't completely suppressed but it is severely restricted . Second , I visited a couple of countries where freedom of speech was not protected at all . I saw the reluctance in the people of those countries to speak about internal political matters or leaders . There have been three recent examples of free speech in the news that caught my attention . The first is the Beauty Queen incident . I don 't watch beauty pageants . They bore me . And most people , even those who watch such fine entertainment as Judge Judy , Maury , and the E ! cable channel , tend to ignore the telecasts . Less people probably know who the current Miss America is than know who the current vice - president is . This beauty contest was for the Miss USA title . An even lesser known pageant that is the precursor to the Miss Universe contest . Miss Universe ? Are there entrants from Alpha Centauri ? But I digress . . . During this critically important pageant , one of the contestants was asked a controversial question . She was asked to give her opinion on the issue of gay marriage . Since then we have been subjected to regular reports about the trials and tribulations she has suffered as a result of her less than politically acceptable answer . Whether you favor gay marriage or not , what earthly importance is the question to the choice of who will wiPosted by The computer is a wonderful tool . It allows us to maintain records that would otherwise give us writer 's cramp if we had to use pencil and paper . We can sort and catalog incredible amounts of useful and ( more likely ) unuseful information . And not just words . Pictures , too . Throw in a scanner and almost anything can be saved . Except that moth eaten sweater which provides such comfort on a cold winter evening . Eventually , they 'll find a way to do that . Lately , my desktop computer screen has been acting up . Well , I should describe it as " misbehaving " . The normal routine is to push the monitor button then the computer button and then things begin to flash upon the screen . Instead , of late , I get a blinking green light on the monitor button which sometimes continues for 5 minutes . The computer comes up , I suppose . It makes all the proper sounds anyway . But the screen remains blank . A black abyss staring at me from my desk . And , then , just as I have almost resigned myself to head for the computer store to purchase a new monitor * poof * the image appears . The monitor has been playing cat and mouse with me for about 6 weeks now . I noticed that electronic equipment , like humans , get more cantankerous and unreliable with age . We have , apparently , been successful in creating these machines in our own image . One day , it will die . Quietly . In my sleep . I will wake up and it will not . I will then have to make the Journey of Compromise . I have been looking at other monitors since this began . No , to be honest , I have been unfaithful in my heart to that monitor for a couple of years now . Anytime I am in a store which sells these lovely electronic gadgets , I look at the monitors . I am enthralled by the colors they emit , the subtle illusion of depth they can provide , the size of their pixels . And lately , by the feel of them . Oh yes , true touch screens are here . And they are magical . Alas , I cannot afford one . They cost twice as much ( plus ) as the machine I would attach them to . Nothing brings me back to reality than those price tags . I Posted by No , it 's not the name of a pub . I met the frog the other afternoon . I was looking down into the toilet just before flushing and there he ( or she , I suppose ) was looking back at me . He was about 3 inches long , . Well , his body was , I am sure he would have been much longer stretched out with pins in his feet like you would before dissecting him for biology lab . He did look a bit surprised to see me . Possibly as surprised as I was . A few weeks ago , just after I left on my trip to California , I had scheduled a visit by the people who are into excrement . You know who I mean , the people who clear clogged drains , fix leaks , and pump out septic tanks . I don 't know how much these people make but they deserve every penny . Anyway , I learned about 18 months ago that there is a filter in the septic tank and that this filter gets clogged . Therefore , periodically , someone must be paid to open the septic tank and clean out that filter . My job in this regard is merely to pay the people who perform this service . There is no way I would do it myself . Apparently , while this person was cleaning out said filter , and the tank was open , a frog must have found his way in . Either that or he did not properly replace the cover after he was through . In any case , the frog made his way up through the pipes that lead to the tank and found himself at the bottom of my toilet bowl , thereby shocking the both of us . I flushed him . He 'll probably be back . [ 1050 / 1051 / 920 ] The following is something I wrote some time ago . This being Mother 's Day , I thought it was appropriate . . . My mother is slipping away . She 's 89 and she hasn 't been herself for many years . She was diagnosed with Alzheimer 's in her sixties and was put on a wonder drug , of sorts , called Aricept . It held the disease at bay to some extent for decades . Her short term memory went first , of course . But Mom , a clever woman , saw this as a benefit . Every day was a new world , a new life . She always had an optimist 's view of life . Now I don 't know what she sees or hears or knows . This disease took away the woman who raised me . After my father passed away , I took her into my home . We tried to care for as best we could but the time came when we could no longer see to her needs . She has been in the care of some nice people out at an assisted living facility for several years now . I go to see her when I can . . . and when I think I can handle it . It 's hard on me . I remember her as a vibrant , cheerful , witty woman who was always there when I needed her . She could always cheer me up when I was down or life seemed bleak . Now she can 't . Now I have to do that on my own . And the worst is after I have been to visit her . I look for some sign of recognition in her eyes and never see it . I visit just before lunch because she seems the most animated at that time . I try to think of things she used to say to me to cheer me up and repeat them to her in the hopes they 'll somehow break through that fog in her brain . She seems loved by the ladies who tend to her needs . They all speak of her with caring and joy . Some are as sad as I am to see her as she is now . My mother had a way of getting a point across with humor . She would admonish me to be careful by warning me that " If you break your leg , don 't come running to me . " Or , " If you drown , I 'll never speak to you again . " As silly as these were , they stuck in my mind . Nothing seemed serious with her while you still knew how concerned she was . Her humor has failed her now . She doesn 't smile much and , whePosted by It 's time for some more Random Musings on various subjects . Television : I recorded ( and then watched , of course ) a program on BBC America called My Big Breasts and Me . As a male , I am presumed to have a fascination with large sweater puppies . I will admit to having an interest but not an obsession . I have known some guys with an obsession . They 're the ones who keep those magazines and web sites such as Brabusters , Voluptuous , and Cleavage in the money . The program was interesting and educational because it was told from the over - endowed woman 's point of view . My mother was one of these so I heard the complaints early and often . My favorite shows are coming to their season finales . However , I have discovered a whole raft of summer series that run mostly on the cable channels such as Sci - Fi and USA and TNT that are just as good or better . If you are a TV freak , as I have become since retiring and taking root in the couch , and haven 't seen these , let me recommend them : Monk ( USA ) Burn Notice ( USA ) The Closer ( TNT ) Leverage ( TNT ) Doctor Who ( may return as repeats on Sci - Fi and BBCA ) Torchwood ( returning as a 5 episode mini - series ) Dexter ( on Showtime ) Sons of Anarchy ( on FX . . . ok , this one is a Fall show , sorry , but it 's quite good for a Biker Soap ) Humanity in general : While in Las Vegas , I did a lot of people watching . We 're pretty ugly on average . Physically , I mean . We really do come in all shapes and sizes and most of them are pretty bad . Don 't get me wrong , I am no one to talk , I have my own physical faults and not all of them are due to age related sag - itis . But we also dress funny and pair up with our opposites way too often . People are friendly , though . Everywhere I went , I ran into smiles and cheerfulness . Waiters and waitresses , store personnel , desk clerks at motels and hotels , and so on . No one seemed grouchy at all . Maybe they were just happy to be working in a down economy but even the people on the street seemed happy . And not just in Las Vegas . The desert : The desert fascinates me as an environment . I don 't like it , Posted by Cheri Sabraw suggested I write a piece on curiosity and why , maybe how , it paralyzes me . The line she had read was The power of my curiosity paralyzes me . Like most things , the sentence has more meanings than one realizes when one writes it or reads it for the first time . Curiosity is very powerful . It has driven human advancement from the trees and plains of prehistory to the houses and skyscrapers of today . Along the way it has spawned wars , built civilizations ( and destroyed them ) , and spread humankind all over the world . It is , in my belief , an instinct . It is not learned , it exists in most ( if not all ) sentient animals . What we humans have done is learn to focus that instinct . Instead of just jumping from thing to thing , like your cat does , we develop interests , we create disciplines , and we establish schools to cultivate these things . Even within these schools , we break down the curiosity paths into departments and specialties . This is how we have created and evolved doctors , lawyers , scientists , politicians , philosophers , warriors , artists of all disciplines , and all the myriad endeavors of human beings . And , above all , we idolize the Renaissance Man , the jack of all trades . The poet who paints and crafts and questions and explains . The Leonardo Da Vincis . Well , after we subject them to trials on charges of heresy , perhaps . The sentence that piqued Cheri 's curiosity really just means I am undisciplined . I never learned to focus my energy into one or two primary fields . I find everything linked together in some manner and each new thing I learn triggers some wonder about how that impacts ( or impacted ) another thing . For instance , the sentence was in a piece about traveling through the desert which touched on a dam ( hardly mentioned ) , a bridge ( hardly mentioned ) , low and high desert , a meteor crater , geology ( more hinted at than mentioned ) , and human development and expansion throughout the world . I cannot sum up what I think about these various things in a paragraph , maybe not in an entire blog , but maybe in a chaPosted by As most of you know by now , I was once in Uncle Sam 's Navy . Enlisting seemed like a good idea at the time . That changed quickly . . . while on the plane flight to boot camp , actually . It took me a few years to settle into it . Had circumstances been a little different , I might have made a career of it . I did enjoy a good portion of my time . Once you have been to sea , it beckons to you forever . Well , I suppose it helps not to suffer from seasickness . I have passed by Mobile , AL , more than a few times since I left the Navy as I traveled back and forth between the coasts . Each time , I saw the USS Alabama moored at the Battleship Memorial Park . Yet I never stopped . I always had a reason not to stop " this time " . But on my return from California this time , I made sure I would stop and pay her a visit . I served aboard a destroyer . The USS Brinkley Bass DD - 887 , to be exact . The " Bass " was just over half the length of the Alabama , less than half her width . You could have fit three of the " Bass " inside her . Battleships were no longer in service when I enlisted . One , the New Jersey , was brought back into service in 1968 to use in the Vietnam War . I missed a chance to visit her while we both served . Arriving in the morning , I entered the park and found a parking place . Though it isn 't a large area , there are enough things to see that it would be good to plan to spend at least 3 hours . Bring a picnic lunch and make a good half day out of it . The Alabama is not the only thing to see . There is a B - 25 bomber , along with a number of other planes , helicopters , and jets to see . There are tanks and armored vehicles and even a WWII submarine ( the USS Drum ) . But the main attraction is the Alabama . And she certainly stands out . No one takes you on a tour , you just follow colored arrows as you go through hatches and climb up and down ladders to just about every part of the ship . The handout you are given explains each point of interest . Each description sparked a memory of my own ship and its equivalent . There were only a few people around when I paid my entry fee and walked aboard . A much broader and more stable " brow " ( or gangway ) than I had encountered in the Navy greeted me just past the " screw " ( propeller ) mounted by the ship . Everything about this ship was bigger than what I had been accustomed to on board the Bass . In fact , compared to my little ship , this was a luxury liner . The only tight spaces , comparatively , were the 16 " gun turrets . Outside , they were huge , but inside was another story . Space is a premium and as wisely used as possible . My ship had only two 5 " gun mounts . They were quite large to me then but these 16 inchers dwarfed them . I cannot imagine the sound of a salvo from one of those mounts . You can see the Alabama 's 5 " gun mounts to the right in this picture . Those same mounts took up much of the bow and fantail on the Bass . If you live near a port , of any kind , and you hear or read of a Navy ship 's visit that includes a public tour , take the time to go . See how our sailors live each day as they serve their country . You won 't be sorry . I once lived about 33 miles from DC . Manassas was a small city , quiet . Most folks seemed to work elsewhere , either in DC or in the cities closer to it that had businesses with ties to government . When I lived there , it was the Reagan years . 1986 and 1987 , to be exact . And I worked in a hole in the ground . Behind blast doors . Right near where Ollie North lived , actually . But this has nothing to do with politics . It has to do with economics and service . I thought I was alone in this observation but then I read the following . . . With a hard economy thinning the supply of ready consumers , shouldn 't we expect businesses to do more to keep them happy ? Yes , says Lopo Rego , a marketing expert at the University of Iowa , who has studied customer service in strong and weak economies . During the boom of the late 1990s , he observed that the quality of customer service had slipped badly . The tight labor market had drained the pool of good workers at the wages that stores and fast - food restaurants were paying . Businesses that hired lazy , careless and rude staff found that offended consumers were quickly replaced . You can read the whole opinion column here . I made a similar observation in the DC area during the 80s . You see , the DC area is pretty much recession - proof . No matter what happens in the rest of the country , the federal government just keeps going . Unemployment is low . Business is always good . Hotels and motels are in demand , housing is expensive and in demand . Stores were always full of shoppers , restaurants were always crowded , streets were full of cars going here , there , and everywhere . Customer service stank . Cashiers were rude and impatient , salespeople couldn 't be bothered , waiters were in no hurry , smiles were rare . In 1988 , I moved to Jacksonville . The economy there was not so good at that time . Housing was cheaper and readily available . Stores weren 't so crowded . Smiles were readily available and service was fine . It wasn 't just southern hospitality . It was a desire to keep the customer happy and to keep the boss hapPosted by While traveling through the desert from Las Vegas , I headed past Lake Mead and the Hoover Dam . I took only a couple of pics . One to show a bit of the construction on the new bridge and the other to show how much the lake has dropped due to the drought that has been ongoing for some time . On the left is the progress made so far on the new bridge which will be part of a new freeway through the area . No more snaking through the mountains . On the right is Lake Mead , the white areas on the hillsides show the pre - drought level of the lake . After leaving that area , I traveled for many miles through the desert as we all might imagine it to be : sand , rock , cacti and dry . . . very dry . Which prompted me to take out a bottle of water and open it in my lap . That 's when I realized just how thin the plastic of the new bottles are . They squeeze too easily when you place the bottles between your thighs to so you can twist off the cap while driving . As the cap twists loose , water is forced out and into your lap . Thus , it becomes unlikely that you will be stopping anytime soon unless you can ignore the stares of others regarding that damp spot in your crotch area . I drove on . . . After a couple of hours , I began climbing into the mountains and greener pastures . The high country of Arizona is quite beautiful . I have only been through the mountains in Arizona in the Summer and Spring . I understand the winters are not harsh , though . I get this from my brother - in - law who lives north of Phoenix , above Sedona . I am not so sure , I have been in the high desert in Winter and the wind cuts right through you . As I moved down into the high desert from the Flagstaff area , I came to the turnoff for one of the places I wanted to see on the way back . Meteor Crater is truly in the middle of nowhere . It is a 6 miles south of I - 40 and surrounded by terrain that is the definition of " empty . " It is what I imagine the Gobi Desert looks like . It is flat , it is desolate , it is sun baked . It seemed to be a large flat area surrounded by mountain peaks far in the dPosted by I arrived home at around 8 PM on Saturday . The last leg , through Alabama and Florida , was on crowded highways . I have no idea why . Just a lot of traffic for no reason that I could discern . It was not pleasant , especially after the last gas stop where the nozzle 's auto cutoff failed to work . The gas flowed over and down the side of the car . A nice mess . And the gas station , a Shell station at Exit # 399 on I - 75 , had known about the faulty nozzle for at least a day . A note on the pump might have been useful . . . So , I get home . I pull into the garage . I sit for a moment , basking in the peace and quiet of no movement . And then I begin gathering up the trash , the little items sitting on the passenger seat , put away the sunglasses , grab the coffee cup , and start transferring things from car to house . Faye greets me and then starts helping . Out come the loose clothes , the two bags full of clean and dirty clothes ( and shoes ) . The rest of the trash is cleaned out . And then I hear it . A buzzing . Like bees . Above my head . Inside the garage . I look up , thinking it must be the fluorescent light above the car . It isn 't . At first , I just stare . In the odd light that fluorescent emit , the insects appear white . Bees or large flies , but white . A couple inside the light 's cover , a larger number buzzing around outside of it or crawling on the outside or on the ceiling . Weird things . I back out the car . I grab a spray bottle of some bug spray and spray the light and ceiling area around it . They don 't appear to react except maybe to bathe in it happily . I pull Faye 's car out and spray the light over her space also since they are also buzzing around that light too . Then I pull both cars back in and go in the house . The next morning , I go out to the garage and look for corpses . This is what they looked like . Please forgive the fuzziness of one of the pics . Either I moved or I snapped it when the camera had not quite focused yet . As far as I can tell , they are some kind of deer flies . The shape and eye formation seems to bear that out . But the eyPosted by Some months ago I wrote a piece about prejudice . I offered a list of words and asked readers to examine the pictures that they brought to mind . The purpose of the exercise was to point out that , whether we realize it or not , we have prejudices and biases . Most of the time , these cause no harm to others . They are simply " quirks " to us if we don 't readily recognize them for what they are . If we do recognize them , we can learn to cope with them . We cannot purge them completely , in my opinion , though we might think we can . Though we certainly might want to . No , these prejudices remain as a part of us . They influence how we view the world . This is fine if we understand how this happens , what they do . It is not so fine when we think we do not have them or , even worse , when we think they are justified in some way . Yes , sometimes we really believe they are justified . I have met a number of people who have tried to explain how they weren 't prejudiced until some incident or some experience caused them to be . Someone just recently tried to explain this to me . He told me how he had been exposed to this terrible behavior by a certain ethnic group . How that behavior turned him against those people . He reminded me of others who had told me similar stories about their experiences which justified , to them , their dislike and distrust of entire class of people . There are members of my family which have related the same kinds of stories to me . It 's all bull . And I think these people , in their hearts , know that . That 's what really bothers me . I really do believe that , deep down , these people realize they have a prejudice ( or two or three ) . These are simply rationalizations for something that cannot be justified . Not unless stereotypes are not stereotypes at all . She couldn 't point to any incident or experience that caused that fear . She didn 't know why that prejudice existed . But the important thing I learned was that she recognized that it was a prejudice . She didn 't let that prejudice fool her by rationalizing it . That was the important lesson . I don 't know if it was the intended lesson or she was just getting something off her chest . It is much worse to rationalize prejudice . It lets you believe you are better than others when you are worse . And when we accept those reasons , or ignore the prejudice of others , we are just as bad . I write this because I have had to remove the blog from my OBTR list of someone I thought was witty , intelligent , and clever . Unfortunately , I cannot tolerate his bigotry regarding a certain group . It saddens me more than you can know .
|
" How beautiful it is to do nothing , and to rest afterward . " [ Spanish Proverb ] Ius luxuriae publice datum est ( The right to looseness has been officially given ) " Everyone carries a part of society on his shoulders , " wrote Ludwig von Mises , " no one is relieved of his share of responsibility by others . And no one can find a safe way for himself if society is sweeping towards destruction . Therefore everyone , in his own interest , must thrust himself vigorously into the intellectual battle . " Apparently , the crossword puzzle that disappeared from the blog , came back . Sunday , May 31 , 2009 One of the more amusing ( and depressing , ironically ) things I have observed is how we say one thing fervently and believe another subconsciously . I was among the many fans of the Jefferson Airplane back in the day . And I remained so , even when they acknowledged technology with the name change to Jefferson Starship . One of the most memorable lines from the Volunteers album song " We Can Be Together " is : All your private property isTarget for your enemyAnd your enemy isWeBlatantly ungrammatical and " in your face " . And then we learned about the property owned by Grace Slick * , et al , which was fenced in with an electrified fence . One wonders if they were taking their own words to heart in the way that their fans were ? And the title of that song fits so well with the sentiment expressed within it , don 't you think ? I wonder about walled enclaves where the bleeding hearts take refuge from the common man they portray as so noble and deserving . And then there 's the Free Marketeers who would crush all competition if given the opportunity . There is that contradiction of the Evil Rich who steal from the poor but who start and endow the charities the poor so depend upon . " Pride goeth before a fall , " I shout proudly . It is my overwhelming humility that I want you to adore . But adore me from afar . After all , though I worked hard all my life to achieve this fame , I demand my privacy . We must become energy independent but no nuclear plants in my town and keep those bird killing windmills away , too . They mess up my ocean / mountain / desert view . No oil platforms off my pristine beaches full of the obese , either . Speaking of which , my doctor ( who weighs upwards of 300 lbs ) recently told my friend ( who is maybe 30 lbs overweight ) that he must lose some weight . I was immediately nostalgic for the days when doctors endorsed cigarette brands . Hypocrisy is nothing new . Preachers who sin are as old as religion itself . Politician is synonymous with liar . It 's no wonder I am a cynic . What ? You aren 't ? You believe in the human race ? You have hope for the fuPosted by A friend recently suggested I get together with someone with whom I have clashed on occasion . He thought we might collaborate on some project or other , providing differing points of view . I am sure he means well . And it has been useful to pair people with opposite points of view for CNN , Foxnews , and the lesser news and commentary alphabet channels . Useful for their ratings , I suppose . But for the rest of us ? I think we gain very little , if anything . CBS started it on TV with " Point / Counterpoint " in 1971 ( it ran until 1979 ) . And it was quite popular . It even spawned a spoof on SNL 's Saturday Night Live Weekend Update . Who can forget Dan Akroyd 's opening words in most every counterpoint to Jane Curtin ? " Jane , you ignorant slut ! " The spoof managed to skewer both Left and Right equally ( though the show was decidedly liberal leaning ) . Unlike the original version which tried to elevate both to mainstream status . And failed . What CBS did is discover that viewers like to watch people argue . And , eventually , that spawned countless cable channel commentary programs where guests argue constantly , rudely talk over their opponents , then smile and thank the host at the end of the segment . But what did we , the viewers , actually get out of the exchange ? Nothing more than entertainment . The political equivalent to a boxing match that ends in a draw . The Left - leaners hear only the points made in their favor , the Right - leaners come away with the points made in theirs . This bit of entertainment is often tried in newspapers and news magazines . Dueling columnists . Op - Ed pages with a balanced mix of opinion pieces from each side . An attempt to publish equal numbers of letters to the editor from each side . All this seems to do is raise the noise level to intolerable . Well , for me anyway . I stay away from the debate shows . I don 't watch Anderson Cooper , O ' Reilly , and the rest . But that also means I tend to stay away from the rest of the shows because even they have these pseudo - debates now . And I do not think I am alone . You see , the shrillPosted by Serendip + - ity . Coined by Horace Walpole , 1754 . Serendip is an old Persian name for Sri Lanka . * 1754 Horace Walpole , The Letters of Horace Walpole , vol . 2 , Letter 90 , To Sir Horace Mann , Arlington Street , Jan . 28 , 1754 . [ 1 ] " This discovery , indeed , is almost of that kind which I call Serendipity , a very expressive word , which , as I have nothing better to tell you , I shall endeavour to explain to you : you will understand it better by the derivation than by the definition . I once read a silly fairy tale , called " The Three Princes of Serendip ; " as their Highnesses travelled , they were always making discoveries , by accidents and sagacity , of things which they were not in quest of : for instance , one of them discovered that a mule blind of the right eye had travelled the same road lately , because the grass was eaten only on the left side , where it was worse than on the right - - now do you understand Serendipity ? One of the most remarkable instances of this accidental Sagacity , ( for you must observe that no discovery of a thing you are looking for comes under this description , ) was of my Lord Shaftsbury , who , happening to dine at Lord Chancellor Clarendon 's , found out the marriage of the Duke of York and Mrs . Hyde , by the respect with which her mother treated her at table . " Most of my knowledge is gained in the above fashion . I don 't intend to learn things , I tend to absorb them without thinking about it . This both impressed and frustrated my teachers through my school years . After all , they thought they were in charge of my learning . They had no more control over it than I did . We both failed at the task more often than not anyway . But I managed to graduate from high school anyway . The best example of serendipity is something we call Post - It notes . http : / / www . 3m . com / us / office / postit / pastpresent / history _ ws . htmlDr . Spencer Silver , a 3M scientist , discovered the formula for the sticky stuff back in 1968 . But it was Silver 's colleague , Art Fry , who finally came up with a practical use for it . The idea for repositionable notePosted by A number of years ago , Steve Allen had a TV show . On that show , he would make fun of rock and roll by reading the lyrics of a song as a poem . I can imagine how much he might have liked to do the same with Rap lyrics today . As much as I laughed then ( and I liked rock and roll music ) , it made me think about how songs are simply poems put to music . Even our National Anthem , The Star Spangled Banner , is a poem that was later put to music . I have two songs which I love . The first is timeless , a true " standard " , written by Hoagy Carmichael ( music ) and Mitchell Parish ( lyrics ) . Carmichael originally wrote the tune as a mid - tempo jazz instrumental piece in 1927 . In 1930 , it was turned into a sentimental ballad by Isham Jones . It is the words which I love , the way they flow together . The song is one of those rare instances where the music and lyrics , even though written a couple of years apart , combine into a masterpiece that does just as the lyrics say . . . become a song that will not die . And now the purple dusk of twilight timeSteals across the meadows of my heartHearing these words immediately sets a quiet mood of contemplation in my mind . High up in the sky the little stars climbAlways reminding me that we 're apartAnd fill me with the sadness a lonely lover feels . You wander down the lane and far awayLeaving me a song that will not dieLove is now the stardustOf yesterdayThe musicOf the yearsGone bySo few of us have ever avoided a broken heart . And music is the special soother for that ache . A feeling of warm and somehow comforting melancholy permeates my soul each time I hear these words . Sometimes I wonder why I spendThe lonely nightsDreaming of a song . The melody haunts my reverieAnd I am once again with you . When our love was new , and each kiss an inspiration . But that was long ago , and now my consolationIs in the stardust of a song . Beside the garden wall , when stars are brightYou are in my armsThe nightingale tells his fairy taleOf paradise where roses grew . Though I dream in vain , in my heart you will remainMy stardust melPosted by I was going to tell you about two books ; one I just finished and one I am almost finished with reading . But you probably don 't want to read book reviews . Even though these books are very good and you would probably enjoy them immensely . I 'll just provide a short synopsis of each . . . The first is called Picking Cotton . It is the story of two people linked by a crime , an injustice , and finally redemption and reconciliation . The story is revealed in stages , by each of the two . It is really two stories about the same events . It is well worth the read . The second is called Odd Hours . It is the fourth in the Odd Thomas series by Dean Koontz . While you can read any of the series on its own , you will find yourself eventually reading all of them . Mr . Koontz is best known for his horror stories and tales of strange and otherworldly happenings . But his talent for the descriptive phrase and subtle ( and not so subtle ) humor is what makes the Odd Thomas books so enjoyable . Books are something I have always loved . At least since I was old enough to read them on my own . While I enjoyed being read to , I always thought I was missing something . The reader would emphasize something and downplay something else and I always wondered why . Also my imagination had to be restrained ( something I have always found difficult doing ) or else I would miss whole passages ( if not entire chapters ) . I suppose this is why I cannot use the Audio Books . When I learned to read well enough to tackle real books , I jumped in with both feet ( and eyes , I suppose ) . When I was young , I could read more than one book at a time without problem . I could also remember what page I was on so I never dog - eared a page or used a bookmark . Now I can read just barely two and prefer not to . I also need bookmarks ( I still do not dog - ear pages ) . I envy Faye , she gets to read while I drive . This accomplishes two things . First , she gets through books faster and , second , she doesn 't have to shut her eyes in panic while I weave through traffic and take unnecessary risks to get wherevPosted by I often wonder how I got to where I am today . There are many answers , each one dependent upon how you interpret the question . I live in Sebring , FL . The journey here began on Long Island in New York , traveled to North Miami Beach , FL , to Orlando , to Hallandale , to Merritt Island , to the 4 years in the US Navy , and then a brief stay in Los Angeles , to Florida again , back to California ( this time San Diego ) , back to Florida , back to California , to Virginia , to Florida ( Jacksonville ) , to West Palm Beach and , finally , to Sebring . I am retired . The journey entailed some 34 years with the Bell System , including 25 years with AT & T post breakup , until they downsized enough to make it worth my while to retire , gracefully , and find a quiet place to live . I am conservative . I was apolitical until my teens when I felt quite liberal ( or " progressive " as it is trying to be called now ) and stayed that way until I was in my 30s and I began to question those liberal values , until I began to realize they didn 't fit well with me anymore . Eventually , I became quite set in my conservative positions . I am divorced because I really shouldn 't have married that woman in the first place . I am remarried because I met the woman I should have married instead of the first wife . There are many things which I am now that have much to do with the experiences I have had in life . I am a pretty honest person now though I was not always . The times I was not honest changed me . Allowed me to become more honest . I am cynical . Well , I suppose I was more or less cynical throughout my life except when I was very young . Being the youngest of three , it is difficult to keep that innocence which precludes cynicism . Where are you ? How did you get there ? Today is Memorial Day . A day to remember those who gave their lives in service to their country . It is not a day to think about which wars were " good " and which were " bad " . It is a day to thank all those who answered the call to duty , regardless of the cause , and gave their lives so that others might live in peace . It is a day for those of you who believe in God to pray for the souls of those who were lost in wars . It is a day for all to remember those who lost their lives in service to the nation we should hold dear . And a day to remember why those men and women were willing to make the ultimate sacrifice . Thank you ! There 's a lively debate going on over at this site . Creditors Not To Blame For Our Greed . It 's an opinion piece about the problems of debt and greed . Alas , my flesh was weak . I got drawn in , I made a couple of comments . But it is something I feel strongly about . Debt is a terrible master . I know , I have feared it much of my adult life . I started out after the Navy with a new wife and a baby on the way . And no job . In a poor economy headed for recession . I was lucky , I got a job that had security though not great pay . One that had benefits . One that I liked . But we struggled . We lived in a house my mother owned ( a scheme to get rich buying old houses and fixing them up . . . it didn 't pan out ) and paid rent that was enough to barely cover her mortgage payment . We watched our money carefully . We lived frugally . When I was a small child , my parents were struggling to get my father 's business going . We ate a lot of spaghetti , and Spam , and baloney ( it was cheap then ) . In my teens , my parents weren 't well off . My father no longer had his own business but was a salesman . My mother worked as a secretary . She also juggled the finances . And juggled them well . But occasionally dropped a ball or two . There were a few times I came home from school and found the electricity turned off . I knew Mom sometimes cashed a check at the supermarket and deposited the cash to cover a check she had written previously . I was determined never to do that . And I didn 't . But I didn 't have a credit card until 10 years into my marriage . I was 34 . I only got it so that I would be able to rent cars when I traveled . The rental companies would no longer hold your return flight ticket as collateral . Even though I had a card , I paid cash when I returned the car . I tucked money away in a space in my wallet , away from the regular cash , so I would always have something in reserve . Even today , I have a little " mad money " in my wallet . Even though I have a few credit cards . Old habits die hard , I suppose . I was given some advice when I was taking evening claPosted by The summer I turned 15 , I was a skinny kid with a flip attitude . I hung out most of that summer at either the bowling alley , Friday night dances at the Unified Hall , or the 7 - 11 a couple blocks from my house . Loy Diehl was the evening manager there most days . He was a short , thin , guy with a mustache and a friendly manner . He 'd pay me to stock the window shelves in the cooler ; usually in sodas or cigarettes . I was cheap help . 7 - 11 's at that time had no store windows , the whole front of the store was open to the outside . No surveillance cameras , either . He also had an interest in guns and encouraged me to learn about them . He was mostly braggart and what we called a " BS artist . " But he got me interested in guns . There was no way I would be able to own one , my father was not one to have them in the house . Even BB guns were forbidden ( though I had owned a couple of those ) . I bought and read a lot of gun magazines that summer and fall . Loy kept a . 45 revolver under the counter . Small markets like the 7 - 11 's were easy targets for hold up men and that summer there had been a number of robberies in in or near our town . It was a regular topic of conversation when I was hanging out . One night , about 9 , Loy , me , and a regular customer were talking when another guy walked in and headed for the aisles . This guy eventually made his way to the counter and stood just to the left of me . He placed a brown paper bag on the counter and , in a calm voice , told Loy , " Put all the cash in the bag . " Loy laughed and looked at him , saying something like " Yeah , right . " He thought it was some kind of joke . It wasn 't . While Loy was filling the bag with bills from the register , the crook turned toward me and the other customer . He was a stocky guy , blond hair , late 20s or early 30s , fair skin with the scars of a teenage period of heavy acne . He wore a blue sport coat , a blue and yellow plaid shirt , and carried a gun . It was pointed at my stomach . I tended to concentrate on that . He told us , me and the customer , to go to the back of the store and lPosted by I mentioned in Superfluous Things that I don 't handle compliments well . I never have . When I was just a wee lad , I was the Shy One . I was the one burying his face in the hem of Mom 's dress or hiding behind Dad 's leg while adults would try to coax me out ( unsuccessfully . . . unless they had candy ) . I 'd have grown out of that except I had an older brother and an older sister . They would reinforce my shyness and insecurity by telling me that the adults were lying about what a cute and adorable kid I was . They weren 't , of course . Lying , that is . I was cute , I was adorable . Doesn 't matter . The Two were very good at cultivating my natural insecurity and growing it into quite the monster neurosis . It was likely just the normal teasing of siblings and I was just predisposed to turning it into some analyst 's income production device . That is , if I could afford an analyst . Which I can 't because I was never allowed to succeed because of the insecurity created in me as a child by The Two . It has hampered me throughout my life . In sometimes odd ways , it has interfered with relationships . I was stunned , for instance , when a girl I knew told me I was conceited . Not just conceited but " sooo conceited " . I was stunned because this awkward , scrawny , bug - eyed , no talent loser with bad hair who couldn 't dance had nothing whatsoever to be conceited about . Yup , the teen years were not kind to me . Imagine if I had been plagued with acne . I would not have survived . I guarantee it . That was my only good fortune , I had good skin . It , that nose wart called insecurity , followed me out of my teens and into adulthood . Praise was always suspect . My siblings had seen to that . Anytime I got a little praise , one ( or both ) would explain how the giver was " just trying to be kind " or " was up to something . " They reinforced this by doing it themselves on a regular basis . Any kindness towards me was merely a prelude to a prank which would leave me embarrassed and feeling stupid while they laughed in glee . So , naturally , any compliments I received later in lifePosted by It was a rainy morning yesterday and I had nothing much to do ( like most mornings . . . and afternoons ) . I decided I would get my hair cut . And look for a reasonably priced UPS for my sister - in - law , Franny . Her old one had quit working . I had priced replacement batteries but after adding in shipping ( and sometimes taxes ) , it was as cheap to buy a new one . . . if I could get one on sale . So I made the trek in intermittent showers along the highway to the barber and to the stores which might have UPS units . The haircut was to be the least expensive thing I purchased . No surprise there . I found myself in our local Office Depot . I am not a fan of that chain but they do have some bargains from time to time so I always give them a once over when looking at electronics and / or computer needs . As I wandered through the store in search of UPS and surge devices ( something they stash in the most unlikely spot ) , I came across monitors . I have a monitor , of course . It is old but it works . It is a 17 " Hyundai LCD which has developed an annoying habit of taking up to 5 minutes to accept input from my computer . During this time , it 's little power indicator light blinks from green to amber in rapid form . It is not a bad monitor , the picture is good , the size is fine , we have become old friends . But , at age 5 , it 's become a bit senile . As I walked down the computer aisle ( yes , computer , not monitor . . that was an aisle over ) , there was this 20 " LCD model by HP . It was a wide screen model ; 12 " high ( 10 " viewable ) by 20 " wide ( 17 " viewable ) and the requisite 20 " diagonal . Which begs the question : Why do they measure them diagonally ? I do not have the answer to that question but I am sure there is a rational one . In any case , there was this monitor . And there was I . I tried to walk away , really I did . I pretended to admire a different , standard size , monitor but I was secretly stealing glances back at the large one . It knew . It just let the screensaver colors swirl and dance and entice , knowingly . I could almost hear it chuckle . I came back in fPosted by Some likely think I harp on this too much but I am deeply concerned about prejudice and bigotry . There 's an old joke that goes . . . " I don 't like bigots and [ insert racial slur here ] . " Which , to me , sums up the problem . I know people who contend they aren 't prejudiced yet , in almost the same breath , complain about one ethnic group or another . There is a conservative talk show host ( Laura Ingraham ) who has a bit she calls " But . . . Monkeys " . A " But . . . Monkey " is someone who says things like , " I like what Obama 's doing for the country but . . . I am opposed to his controlling GM and Chrysler . " Or , " Cubans are wonderful people but . . . they have turned Miami into a place where you must speak Spanish in order to do anything . " In other words the " Some of my best friends are [ insert ethnic reference here ] " crowd . The question to me is not " Are you prejudiced ? " but " How do you control your prejudices ? " And if you do not think your little prejudice matters much , think again . Your prejudices help influence public opinion . Here 's an example I ran into . . . In order to assess explicit prejudice toward Jews , we directly asked respondents " How much to blame were the Jews for the financial crisis ? " with responses falling under five categories : a great deal , a lot , a moderate amount , a little , not at all . Among non - Jewish respondents , a strikingly high 24 . 6 percent of Americans blamed " the Jews " a moderate amount or more , and 38 . 4 percent attributed at least some level of blame to the group . http : / / bostonreview . net / BR34 . 3 / malhotra _ margalit . phpThere is much more to this survey and story and I urge you to read it . Especially the comments . Read them with an open mind , divorce yourself from your feelings and truly examine the sentiments expressed . I have observed similar feelings by minorities against other minorities . Listen to Farrakhan for 15 minutes and you will find his anti - Jewish sentiment . Or ask the random African - American about Korean grocers . Observe the animosity between various ethnic prison gangs . We often think we are abovePosted by I was pleasantly relaxing on the couch , watching a financial analysis program , something I do each Monday when the markets close . The host was interviewing some tax official from the state of New York who was there to explain about a program where tax delinquents would have their names made public . Now , no one likes tax cheats . Probably because we hate to pay taxes and are extremely jealous of anyone who doesn 't pay them . It 's not fair that they get to cheat and we don 't , right ? The host tries to make a point about the possibility that there might be mistakes made and reputations damaged because of it . The host is a smart man and he knows his job is not to throw softballs but to play Devil 's Advocate from time to time . He explains that government often makes errors and is slow to correct them . He also questions whether this isn 't a bit of strong - arming ? The official starts to talk about fairness in reply . He speaks about how there are so many " overburdened taxpayers " who must pay more because these people are " not paying their fair share . " I was immediately reminded of the storeowners who talk about shoplifters and how they force prices up to pay for the losses . Do any of you believe that prices and taxes would come down if all the shoplifters and all the tax cheats suddenly woke up tomorrow and started on the straight and narrow ? As my dear mother used to say . . . " Horse pucky ! " I think a tax revolt is coming in this country . I really do . Now and then I see a blog where a number of facts are revealed by the blogger . This is usually because they have been tagged and requested to do it . I am not a fan of tagging . I don 't much like obligating others to do something and dislike the pressure I feel to perform on command . On the other hand , I do like the idea of revealing things about myself and reading things about others . We humans are so contradictory , aren 't we ? Anyway , without any prompting or tagging , I decided a few months ago to make a list of ten facts about myself and finally got around to finishing it today . Well , actually , I wrote the whole thing today because all I had written was the line : " Ten facts about me . " 1 . I prefer to be alone more often than being with others . This probably is genetic . My father was the same way . He never told me why so I have had to work out my own reasons why I am this way . 2 . I am afraid to swim in the ocean at night . I believe this has a lot to do with what I have seen in the ocean during daylight . 3 . I flunked my first road test for my driver 's license . My sister took me to the DMV for the test and put the emergency brake ( as it was called then ) on before exiting the car . There were no warning lights or indicators for the brake in those days . I ignored it since it was so out of adjustment as to not impede the car at all . The tester announced I had failed already as I approached the first intersection but told me to continue anyway . 4 . I used to plan major crimes in my head when I was a teen . Not just robberies or burglaries , either . I never carried any of these out as I always found flaws which would have made sure I got caught eventually . 5 . I was 15 when I got stinking drunk for the first time . I recall puking out the window of a friend 's car soon after we left the party . He dropped me off about a mile from my house at 3 AM and I had to walk the rest of the way . You 'd have thought I would have learned from that . I didn 't . 6 . I sometimes feel like I am trapped inside my head . Literally . That I am peering out througPosted by Saturday . I always liked Saturdays . I don 't know why , really . When I was in school , Saturdays were important because they meant no school . But I really didn 't mind going to school so it wasn 't about that . Saturday was a day to do what chores I might have , which were few as I recall . And I ducked those most of the time . But I could sleep in so maybe that was it . From the time I went into the Navy to a short period , maybe a year , before I retired Saturdays were often workdays . Even in high school , when I had a job , I often had to be there on Saturdays . Odd jobs , usher at a movie theater , bellhop , busboy ; all meant Saturday was not a day off . In the Navy , I had weekend duty at least a quarter of the time in port and Saturday was a regular workday when out at sea . The 34 years with various telephone companies ( all under the " Ma Bell " umbrella ) meant at least one Saturday a month , sometimes two , was spent at work . Saturdays at work were different than the regular work week , though . More laid back , quieter . Few demands . Well , not in those high school jobs of course , but the later ones . On the job you could catch up on some reading , attend to those things you put off during the week because of more pressing needs . Although there were rarely pressing needs on my job with the telco . In fact , there were rarely pressing needs on any job I ever had . I sometimes look back and wonder if I was just lucky to fall into jobs where constant work wasn 't a requirement . Or did I subconsciously plan it that way ? I could never have dealt with a production line factory type job . I much preferred the jobs where there were spurts of high activity interspersed with longer ( much longer ) periods of light , or no , activity . Now , of course , Saturday is just a day . Just like any other . No special meaning , no special purpose . Saturn Devouring His Son , a disturbing portrait of the god Saturn consuming one of his children , was one of six works with which Goya decorated the dining room . According to Roman myth , it had been foretold that one of the sons ofPosted by I didn 't really have anything to write about today . Well , that 's not true , there is always something to write about . I 'll be honest ; I am lazy and can 't be bothered . No , that 's only half true . To be perfectly honest , a number of things came to mind but I just couldn 't seem to get started . One of the things was about the Hubble telescope . But , while researching it , I ran into a much more interesting blog on it than I could ever write . I also ran into a much more interesting blogger than I could ever hope to be . His name is Phil Plait and he is an astronomer , author , blogger , and all around smart person . He writes a blog called Bad Astronomy and this is what he wrote yesterday about the Hubble . . . ( click on it to read the article ) Top Ten Things You Don 't Know About Hubble . It includes pictures for those of you who hate to read . Go read it , you won 't be sorry . Heck , just go look through the pictures . Free speech is a powerful right . It frightens people in power , it empowers people out of it . It is one of several that are integral to my country 's history . As a blogger , it is the primary right . Having grown up in this country , I have always taken this right for granted . Even when I was told when to speak by my parents , even when I was told I did not have that right while I was in school . Even at those times , I still thought I had that right and thought nothing more about it . I learned what it was like to not have it while in the Navy . First , because you really do not have that as an unfettered right while you are a member of the military . Your political activity is restricted and your ability to speak out is restricted . It isn 't completely suppressed but it is severely restricted . Second , I visited a couple of countries where freedom of speech was not protected at all . I saw the reluctance in the people of those countries to speak about internal political matters or leaders . There have been three recent examples of free speech in the news that caught my attention . The first is the Beauty Queen incident . I don 't watch beauty pageants . They bore me . And most people , even those who watch such fine entertainment as Judge Judy , Maury , and the E ! cable channel , tend to ignore the telecasts . Less people probably know who the current Miss America is than know who the current vice - president is . This beauty contest was for the Miss USA title . An even lesser known pageant that is the precursor to the Miss Universe contest . Miss Universe ? Are there entrants from Alpha Centauri ? But I digress . . . During this critically important pageant , one of the contestants was asked a controversial question . She was asked to give her opinion on the issue of gay marriage . Since then we have been subjected to regular reports about the trials and tribulations she has suffered as a result of her less than politically acceptable answer . Whether you favor gay marriage or not , what earthly importance is the question to the choice of who will wiPosted by The computer is a wonderful tool . It allows us to maintain records that would otherwise give us writer 's cramp if we had to use pencil and paper . We can sort and catalog incredible amounts of useful and ( more likely ) unuseful information . And not just words . Pictures , too . Throw in a scanner and almost anything can be saved . Except that moth eaten sweater which provides such comfort on a cold winter evening . Eventually , they 'll find a way to do that . Lately , my desktop computer screen has been acting up . Well , I should describe it as " misbehaving " . The normal routine is to push the monitor button then the computer button and then things begin to flash upon the screen . Instead , of late , I get a blinking green light on the monitor button which sometimes continues for 5 minutes . The computer comes up , I suppose . It makes all the proper sounds anyway . But the screen remains blank . A black abyss staring at me from my desk . And , then , just as I have almost resigned myself to head for the computer store to purchase a new monitor * poof * the image appears . The monitor has been playing cat and mouse with me for about 6 weeks now . I noticed that electronic equipment , like humans , get more cantankerous and unreliable with age . We have , apparently , been successful in creating these machines in our own image . One day , it will die . Quietly . In my sleep . I will wake up and it will not . I will then have to make the Journey of Compromise . I have been looking at other monitors since this began . No , to be honest , I have been unfaithful in my heart to that monitor for a couple of years now . Anytime I am in a store which sells these lovely electronic gadgets , I look at the monitors . I am enthralled by the colors they emit , the subtle illusion of depth they can provide , the size of their pixels . And lately , by the feel of them . Oh yes , true touch screens are here . And they are magical . Alas , I cannot afford one . They cost twice as much ( plus ) as the machine I would attach them to . Nothing brings me back to reality than those price tags . I Posted by No , it 's not the name of a pub . I met the frog the other afternoon . I was looking down into the toilet just before flushing and there he ( or she , I suppose ) was looking back at me . He was about 3 inches long , . Well , his body was , I am sure he would have been much longer stretched out with pins in his feet like you would before dissecting him for biology lab . He did look a bit surprised to see me . Possibly as surprised as I was . A few weeks ago , just after I left on my trip to California , I had scheduled a visit by the people who are into excrement . You know who I mean , the people who clear clogged drains , fix leaks , and pump out septic tanks . I don 't know how much these people make but they deserve every penny . Anyway , I learned about 18 months ago that there is a filter in the septic tank and that this filter gets clogged . Therefore , periodically , someone must be paid to open the septic tank and clean out that filter . My job in this regard is merely to pay the people who perform this service . There is no way I would do it myself . Apparently , while this person was cleaning out said filter , and the tank was open , a frog must have found his way in . Either that or he did not properly replace the cover after he was through . In any case , the frog made his way up through the pipes that lead to the tank and found himself at the bottom of my toilet bowl , thereby shocking the both of us . I flushed him . He 'll probably be back . [ 1050 / 1051 / 920 ] The following is something I wrote some time ago . This being Mother 's Day , I thought it was appropriate . . . My mother is slipping away . She 's 89 and she hasn 't been herself for many years . She was diagnosed with Alzheimer 's in her sixties and was put on a wonder drug , of sorts , called Aricept . It held the disease at bay to some extent for decades . Her short term memory went first , of course . But Mom , a clever woman , saw this as a benefit . Every day was a new world , a new life . She always had an optimist 's view of life . Now I don 't know what she sees or hears or knows . This disease took away the woman who raised me . After my father passed away , I took her into my home . We tried to care for as best we could but the time came when we could no longer see to her needs . She has been in the care of some nice people out at an assisted living facility for several years now . I go to see her when I can . . . and when I think I can handle it . It 's hard on me . I remember her as a vibrant , cheerful , witty woman who was always there when I needed her . She could always cheer me up when I was down or life seemed bleak . Now she can 't . Now I have to do that on my own . And the worst is after I have been to visit her . I look for some sign of recognition in her eyes and never see it . I visit just before lunch because she seems the most animated at that time . I try to think of things she used to say to me to cheer me up and repeat them to her in the hopes they 'll somehow break through that fog in her brain . She seems loved by the ladies who tend to her needs . They all speak of her with caring and joy . Some are as sad as I am to see her as she is now . My mother had a way of getting a point across with humor . She would admonish me to be careful by warning me that " If you break your leg , don 't come running to me . " Or , " If you drown , I 'll never speak to you again . " As silly as these were , they stuck in my mind . Nothing seemed serious with her while you still knew how concerned she was . Her humor has failed her now . She doesn 't smile much and , whePosted by It 's time for some more Random Musings on various subjects . Television : I recorded ( and then watched , of course ) a program on BBC America called My Big Breasts and Me . As a male , I am presumed to have a fascination with large sweater puppies . I will admit to having an interest but not an obsession . I have known some guys with an obsession . They 're the ones who keep those magazines and web sites such as Brabusters , Voluptuous , and Cleavage in the money . The program was interesting and educational because it was told from the over - endowed woman 's point of view . My mother was one of these so I heard the complaints early and often . My favorite shows are coming to their season finales . However , I have discovered a whole raft of summer series that run mostly on the cable channels such as Sci - Fi and USA and TNT that are just as good or better . If you are a TV freak , as I have become since retiring and taking root in the couch , and haven 't seen these , let me recommend them : Monk ( USA ) Burn Notice ( USA ) The Closer ( TNT ) Leverage ( TNT ) Doctor Who ( may return as repeats on Sci - Fi and BBCA ) Torchwood ( returning as a 5 episode mini - series ) Dexter ( on Showtime ) Sons of Anarchy ( on FX . . . ok , this one is a Fall show , sorry , but it 's quite good for a Biker Soap ) Humanity in general : While in Las Vegas , I did a lot of people watching . We 're pretty ugly on average . Physically , I mean . We really do come in all shapes and sizes and most of them are pretty bad . Don 't get me wrong , I am no one to talk , I have my own physical faults and not all of them are due to age related sag - itis . But we also dress funny and pair up with our opposites way too often . People are friendly , though . Everywhere I went , I ran into smiles and cheerfulness . Waiters and waitresses , store personnel , desk clerks at motels and hotels , and so on . No one seemed grouchy at all . Maybe they were just happy to be working in a down economy but even the people on the street seemed happy . And not just in Las Vegas . The desert : The desert fascinates me as an environment . I don 't like it , Posted by Cheri Sabraw suggested I write a piece on curiosity and why , maybe how , it paralyzes me . The line she had read was The power of my curiosity paralyzes me . Like most things , the sentence has more meanings than one realizes when one writes it or reads it for the first time . Curiosity is very powerful . It has driven human advancement from the trees and plains of prehistory to the houses and skyscrapers of today . Along the way it has spawned wars , built civilizations ( and destroyed them ) , and spread humankind all over the world . It is , in my belief , an instinct . It is not learned , it exists in most ( if not all ) sentient animals . What we humans have done is learn to focus that instinct . Instead of just jumping from thing to thing , like your cat does , we develop interests , we create disciplines , and we establish schools to cultivate these things . Even within these schools , we break down the curiosity paths into departments and specialties . This is how we have created and evolved doctors , lawyers , scientists , politicians , philosophers , warriors , artists of all disciplines , and all the myriad endeavors of human beings . And , above all , we idolize the Renaissance Man , the jack of all trades . The poet who paints and crafts and questions and explains . The Leonardo Da Vincis . Well , after we subject them to trials on charges of heresy , perhaps . The sentence that piqued Cheri 's curiosity really just means I am undisciplined . I never learned to focus my energy into one or two primary fields . I find everything linked together in some manner and each new thing I learn triggers some wonder about how that impacts ( or impacted ) another thing . For instance , the sentence was in a piece about traveling through the desert which touched on a dam ( hardly mentioned ) , a bridge ( hardly mentioned ) , low and high desert , a meteor crater , geology ( more hinted at than mentioned ) , and human development and expansion throughout the world . I cannot sum up what I think about these various things in a paragraph , maybe not in an entire blog , but maybe in a chaPosted by As most of you know by now , I was once in Uncle Sam 's Navy . Enlisting seemed like a good idea at the time . That changed quickly . . . while on the plane flight to boot camp , actually . It took me a few years to settle into it . Had circumstances been a little different , I might have made a career of it . I did enjoy a good portion of my time . Once you have been to sea , it beckons to you forever . Well , I suppose it helps not to suffer from seasickness . I have passed by Mobile , AL , more than a few times since I left the Navy as I traveled back and forth between the coasts . Each time , I saw the USS Alabama moored at the Battleship Memorial Park . Yet I never stopped . I always had a reason not to stop " this time " . But on my return from California this time , I made sure I would stop and pay her a visit . I served aboard a destroyer . The USS Brinkley Bass DD - 887 , to be exact . The " Bass " was just over half the length of the Alabama , less than half her width . You could have fit three of the " Bass " inside her . Battleships were no longer in service when I enlisted . One , the New Jersey , was brought back into service in 1968 to use in the Vietnam War . I missed a chance to visit her while we both served . Arriving in the morning , I entered the park and found a parking place . Though it isn 't a large area , there are enough things to see that it would be good to plan to spend at least 3 hours . Bring a picnic lunch and make a good half day out of it . The Alabama is not the only thing to see . There is a B - 25 bomber , along with a number of other planes , helicopters , and jets to see . There are tanks and armored vehicles and even a WWII submarine ( the USS Drum ) . But the main attraction is the Alabama . And she certainly stands out . No one takes you on a tour , you just follow colored arrows as you go through hatches and climb up and down ladders to just about every part of the ship . The handout you are given explains each point of interest . Each description sparked a memory of my own ship and its equivalent . There were only a few people around when I paid my entry fee and walked aboard . A much broader and more stable " brow " ( or gangway ) than I had encountered in the Navy greeted me just past the " screw " ( propeller ) mounted by the ship . Everything about this ship was bigger than what I had been accustomed to on board the Bass . In fact , compared to my little ship , this was a luxury liner . The only tight spaces , comparatively , were the 16 " gun turrets . Outside , they were huge , but inside was another story . Space is a premium and as wisely used as possible . My ship had only two 5 " gun mounts . They were quite large to me then but these 16 inchers dwarfed them . I cannot imagine the sound of a salvo from one of those mounts . You can see the Alabama 's 5 " gun mounts to the right in this picture . Those same mounts took up much of the bow and fantail on the Bass . If you live near a port , of any kind , and you hear or read of a Navy ship 's visit that includes a public tour , take the time to go . See how our sailors live each day as they serve their country . You won 't be sorry . I once lived about 33 miles from DC . Manassas was a small city , quiet . Most folks seemed to work elsewhere , either in DC or in the cities closer to it that had businesses with ties to government . When I lived there , it was the Reagan years . 1986 and 1987 , to be exact . And I worked in a hole in the ground . Behind blast doors . Right near where Ollie North lived , actually . But this has nothing to do with politics . It has to do with economics and service . I thought I was alone in this observation but then I read the following . . . With a hard economy thinning the supply of ready consumers , shouldn 't we expect businesses to do more to keep them happy ? Yes , says Lopo Rego , a marketing expert at the University of Iowa , who has studied customer service in strong and weak economies . During the boom of the late 1990s , he observed that the quality of customer service had slipped badly . The tight labor market had drained the pool of good workers at the wages that stores and fast - food restaurants were paying . Businesses that hired lazy , careless and rude staff found that offended consumers were quickly replaced . You can read the whole opinion column here . I made a similar observation in the DC area during the 80s . You see , the DC area is pretty much recession - proof . No matter what happens in the rest of the country , the federal government just keeps going . Unemployment is low . Business is always good . Hotels and motels are in demand , housing is expensive and in demand . Stores were always full of shoppers , restaurants were always crowded , streets were full of cars going here , there , and everywhere . Customer service stank . Cashiers were rude and impatient , salespeople couldn 't be bothered , waiters were in no hurry , smiles were rare . In 1988 , I moved to Jacksonville . The economy there was not so good at that time . Housing was cheaper and readily available . Stores weren 't so crowded . Smiles were readily available and service was fine . It wasn 't just southern hospitality . It was a desire to keep the customer happy and to keep the boss hapPosted by While traveling through the desert from Las Vegas , I headed past Lake Mead and the Hoover Dam . I took only a couple of pics . One to show a bit of the construction on the new bridge and the other to show how much the lake has dropped due to the drought that has been ongoing for some time . On the left is the progress made so far on the new bridge which will be part of a new freeway through the area . No more snaking through the mountains . On the right is Lake Mead , the white areas on the hillsides show the pre - drought level of the lake . After leaving that area , I traveled for many miles through the desert as we all might imagine it to be : sand , rock , cacti and dry . . . very dry . Which prompted me to take out a bottle of water and open it in my lap . That 's when I realized just how thin the plastic of the new bottles are . They squeeze too easily when you place the bottles between your thighs to so you can twist off the cap while driving . As the cap twists loose , water is forced out and into your lap . Thus , it becomes unlikely that you will be stopping anytime soon unless you can ignore the stares of others regarding that damp spot in your crotch area . I drove on . . . After a couple of hours , I began climbing into the mountains and greener pastures . The high country of Arizona is quite beautiful . I have only been through the mountains in Arizona in the Summer and Spring . I understand the winters are not harsh , though . I get this from my brother - in - law who lives north of Phoenix , above Sedona . I am not so sure , I have been in the high desert in Winter and the wind cuts right through you . As I moved down into the high desert from the Flagstaff area , I came to the turnoff for one of the places I wanted to see on the way back . Meteor Crater is truly in the middle of nowhere . It is a 6 miles south of I - 40 and surrounded by terrain that is the definition of " empty . " It is what I imagine the Gobi Desert looks like . It is flat , it is desolate , it is sun baked . It seemed to be a large flat area surrounded by mountain peaks far in the dPosted by I arrived home at around 8 PM on Saturday . The last leg , through Alabama and Florida , was on crowded highways . I have no idea why . Just a lot of traffic for no reason that I could discern . It was not pleasant , especially after the last gas stop where the nozzle 's auto cutoff failed to work . The gas flowed over and down the side of the car . A nice mess . And the gas station , a Shell station at Exit # 399 on I - 75 , had known about the faulty nozzle for at least a day . A note on the pump might have been useful . . . So , I get home . I pull into the garage . I sit for a moment , basking in the peace and quiet of no movement . And then I begin gathering up the trash , the little items sitting on the passenger seat , put away the sunglasses , grab the coffee cup , and start transferring things from car to house . Faye greets me and then starts helping . Out come the loose clothes , the two bags full of clean and dirty clothes ( and shoes ) . The rest of the trash is cleaned out . And then I hear it . A buzzing . Like bees . Above my head . Inside the garage . I look up , thinking it must be the fluorescent light above the car . It isn 't . At first , I just stare . In the odd light that fluorescent emit , the insects appear white . Bees or large flies , but white . A couple inside the light 's cover , a larger number buzzing around outside of it or crawling on the outside or on the ceiling . Weird things . I back out the car . I grab a spray bottle of some bug spray and spray the light and ceiling area around it . They don 't appear to react except maybe to bathe in it happily . I pull Faye 's car out and spray the light over her space also since they are also buzzing around that light too . Then I pull both cars back in and go in the house . The next morning , I go out to the garage and look for corpses . This is what they looked like . Please forgive the fuzziness of one of the pics . Either I moved or I snapped it when the camera had not quite focused yet . As far as I can tell , they are some kind of deer flies . The shape and eye formation seems to bear that out . But the eyPosted by Some months ago I wrote a piece about prejudice . I offered a list of words and asked readers to examine the pictures that they brought to mind . The purpose of the exercise was to point out that , whether we realize it or not , we have prejudices and biases . Most of the time , these cause no harm to others . They are simply " quirks " to us if we don 't readily recognize them for what they are . If we do recognize them , we can learn to cope with them . We cannot purge them completely , in my opinion , though we might think we can . Though we certainly might want to . No , these prejudices remain as a part of us . They influence how we view the world . This is fine if we understand how this happens , what they do . It is not so fine when we think we do not have them or , even worse , when we think they are justified in some way . Yes , sometimes we really believe they are justified . I have met a number of people who have tried to explain how they weren 't prejudiced until some incident or some experience caused them to be . Someone just recently tried to explain this to me . He told me how he had been exposed to this terrible behavior by a certain ethnic group . How that behavior turned him against those people . He reminded me of others who had told me similar stories about their experiences which justified , to them , their dislike and distrust of entire class of people . There are members of my family which have related the same kinds of stories to me . It 's all bull . And I think these people , in their hearts , know that . That 's what really bothers me . I really do believe that , deep down , these people realize they have a prejudice ( or two or three ) . These are simply rationalizations for something that cannot be justified . Not unless stereotypes are not stereotypes at all . She couldn 't point to any incident or experience that caused that fear . She didn 't know why that prejudice existed . But the important thing I learned was that she recognized that it was a prejudice . She didn 't let that prejudice fool her by rationalizing it . That was the important lesson . I don 't know if it was the intended lesson or she was just getting something off her chest . It is much worse to rationalize prejudice . It lets you believe you are better than others when you are worse . And when we accept those reasons , or ignore the prejudice of others , we are just as bad . I write this because I have had to remove the blog from my OBTR list of someone I thought was witty , intelligent , and clever . Unfortunately , I cannot tolerate his bigotry regarding a certain group . It saddens me more than you can know .
|
If you know me even a little bit you probably are aware that I am kind of really into Pandora Radio . As if often the case , I was listening to it today at work and for the first time In A Big Country by Big Country popped up on my Jens Lekman station . I got totally psyched as soon as I heard the opening notes because a few years ago this was my ULTIMATE JAM OF THE YEAR . I don 't know why I loved this song so much all of a sudden in the summer of 2003 , but , before today , I don 't think I 'd heard it since then . Somehow it doesn 't sound the same on computer as it did played from the tapedeck of my stereo . Still , it sounded pretty awesome . This of course reminds me that this year I saw a movie called The Big Country , starring Gregory Peck and Charlton Heston : The thing about this movie is that it is SOOOOO long . It 's like three hours long . The other thing about this movie is that it has the best fight scene in cinema history . I used to give that distinction to Class , with Rob Lowe and Andrew McCarthy , but The Big Country 's fight scene is in a whole other category . It 's in a whole other galaxy for that matter . Just a The Big Country is an almost ridiculously long movie , the fight scene , between Peck and Heston , is ludicrously long . As you 're watching it and it 's going longer and longer you 're thinking , " what the heck is going on ? This is insane . How much longer can I watch these two grown men tussling about in the dim light of evening ? There hasn 't been a close up since this thing started . " But as it goes on and on and on you slowly come to realize that it is the greatest fight scene ever comitted to film . I can 't explain it . You just have to watch it . I know I haven 't been painting the most flattering picture of the movie , but it is one the best movies I 've watched this year . So , to recap , I am recommending Pandora . com , Big Country the band , and The Big Country the movie . Now it 's all up to you . mel So , the craft fair was . . . . bad . I don 't know , it was fine , it 's just that I didn 't sell anything . Which is ok . It was still fun . And I got a buncha buncha books made , and I 've been slowly getting those up on my etsy page , and now they are selling like hotcakes ! So everything is ok . I just don 't think the holiday craft fair at my place of work is the right market for me . But hey , I learned that lesson , and it 's important to learn , right ? Anyway , do you want to see some of my books ? Ok , here we goI really like this one , it 's from this really old atlas ( 1942 ! ) that I bought a long time ago , but I had never used before . I am really happy with how they turned out , I think they look really great . You can see that I did these a little differently than usual , they have " wrap around " covers and I think they 're cool . And since the maps are interesting because they are so old ; the world looked pretty different then . I think on this one you can see that there was no Vietnam yet , it was called French IndoChina . These would be perfect for history buffs , they would really get a kick out of them I think . Not too much else going on , just chugging away making books and knitting a lot . In fact , I taught Steve how to knit ! It 's pretty cute . He asked me to teach him , I think , because he can 't stand that there is something I 'm good at that he can 't challenge me at . He 's very competitive . And I 'm happy to report that he 's doing really well , he 's picking it up very quickly . All my success with teaching people how to knit tempts me to start offering lessons on craigslist or something . Steve is the seventh or eighth of my friends that I 've taught the knitting basics , but probably it 's different teaching your friends than it is teaching strangers . It 's something to think about though , I guess . Oh , just one more thing . I 've been really enjoying this blog lately : mccain blogette . It 's written by John McCain 's daughter , who is on the campaign trail with him , riding the " straight talk express " or whatever his bus is called . Don 't be scared , thisPosted by Just wanted to let everyone know , the Bookbinding Etsy Street Team is having a holiday sale , one week only starting today ! You can see all the participating shops above , just barely . I 'll post later today with links to all the shops . By the way , I 'm offering free shipping on everything . Too bad I only have five items . . . . I guess I know what I 'll be doing this weekend , in addition to getting ready for that darn craft fair . I don 't want to be all down , so let me end with something good . My MOO cards came yesterday ! They are so awesome , I am really really pleased with them . They are so tiny and cute and they have that nice kind of rubbery matte finish ; they 're just great . I plan to use some of them as price tags at the fair , I think they 'll be perfect because they have my website on them and they say thank you and they have a big white space on the back so I 'll even have room to write the materials for scarves . I 'm getting excited ! mel Okay , I know , I know ! I haven 't posted in a really long time . I 'm sorry . There , now that 's out of the way . I 've been really busy with class and all kinds of things . I 'm working really hard to get stuff ready ; I was accepted to be a vendor at the holiday craft fair at my work , but it 's on the 14th ! So soon ! And I barely have anything to sell ! Today I started to get a little stressed out . Before , I was just excited at the prospect of my very first craft show , but today I 'm nervous . I have sooooo much work to do . I will try really hard to remember my camera that day , then I can post some pictures of my table . I don 't know how I 'm going to set up , I have a few ideas but I haven 't thought about it that much . I 'm selling my books and some scarves and maybe some hats . My mom sells her scarves at her work and she displays them in a big vase with the scarves all spilling out , so I might do something like that . I don 't know ! You should leave a comment if you have any suggestions for me , ok ? I started doing my Christmas shopping today . It 's going pretty well , I guess . I found things for four of the people on my list . I 'm trying to do most of my shopping online this year , mostly on Etsy of course . I don 't really have any ideas of what I want to get for people though , so I 'm just browsing and choosing randomly . That 's why it 's not going especially quickly . Well , gotta get back to work . I 'll leave you with this cool shop I came across on Etsy today . 2ndDraft , they 're pretty new to Etsy but they had this bracelet on the front page today . Everything in the shop is made with film ; microfilm or regular film . It makes for a really interesting look . I love this clutch : mel Sigh . Ok , geeking out alert ! I don 't know why , but I am having some nostalgic Star Wars withdrawals . I guess watching Star Wars used to be a pretty common occurrence for me ; my roommate and I both loved it , she had it on DVD and I had it on VHS . You know what though ? My roommate moved to Sacramento and took her DVDs with her , and we got rid of our VCR and all our ( my ) VHS tapes when we moved . For the first time in probably 10 years or more , I do not own the original Star Wars trilogy ! I can 't just watch it whenever I want , which is pretty sad . Something must be done , or my once formidable store of Star Wars trivia will dwindle out of existence . I 'll have to check out netflix and see if Star Wars is one of those movies you can watch on their website . Probably not I guess . Anyway , enough of that geekery ! Sorry for that . So , oh my gosh you guys , we have so much catching up to do ! Obviously , I failed at NaBloPoMo , but that 's ok , because while I was doing it I had so much fun . I have total faith that next year I will succeed ! I 'll be training all year . The awesomeness of the Jens Lekman show was enough to make up for my failure . It was sooooo good . I am so glad that I was able to go , and that I got my tickets early because it totally sold out ! I recommend to all of you , if you get a chance , go see his show ! He sounds awesome live , the energy is so high , and you can tell that he loves music , and the joy is infectious . I don 't want to go on too long , especially since I don 't have any pictures to share , but I will post this link to a song from his new album , and I hope you 'll all click and listen to it . Click Here Y ' all . In more " music " " news " , I am seeing two more shows next month ! Both are at The Great American Music Hall , which is a super awesome venue that is only a few blocks from my house ! First is Jonathan Richman ( love love love ) and second is Stephen Malkmus . I am a little leery about the SM show . Pavement is my all time favorite band , and I have been known to embarrassingly , drunkenly call Stephen Malkmus a geniPosted by All right , I think I am seriously addicted to Orange - Carrot Juice . For a while I was having it everyday for breakfast . Then I stopped for a while , because I am lazy to walk to Jamba Juice from my office , but I was thinking about it ALL THE TIME . Now I 'm back . It 's just soooo good . I don 't know what it is , there 's just something so refreshing , yet slightly creamy about it . . . it 's really flavorful and satiating . The way they make it at Jamba Juice it gets all frothy . . . . yum , just thinking about it is making me salivate . Anyway , the point is that I 'm a little worried that having the same thing for breakfast everyday is not good for me . Also , I am a little worried that I might turn a little orange , even though , really , I know that won 't happen . But still . So I tried having yogurt and an apple for breakfast but it 's just not the same ! I 'm going to try the yogurt thing for a while though , because I bought a TON of yogurt , and maybe eventually I 'll be as obsessed with yogurt as I am now with Orange - Carrot juice . It could happen . It seems like I am finally starting to feel creative again . Unfortunately , so far it seems like I 'm feeling most creative while I 'm at work , where there is nothing creative to do but doodle . Like I 've mentioned before , I 've really been inspired by this collage project we 're doing in my drawing class , and by the Joseph Cornell exhibit at the SFMOMA . In fact , I went to see the Cornell exhibit again last night , with my boyfriend , and I feel like I wouldn 't mind at all if I were going to see it again . I loved it so much . Last night I wanted to walk across the scary bridge they have on the top floor of the museum . The walkway is metal , but the floor is kind of a grid ( they call it steel truss ) , so you can see through it . The walkway is on the fourth floor of the museum , and you can see all the way to the ground floor . And these are gallery floors so I they 're a bit taller than normal floors I think . If you get a chance to go to the SFMOMA and you are not too scared of heights , you should definitely do tPosted by Ok , I 'm real tired , but I just wanted to let y ' all know : I am so excited for Jens Lekman ! The show is day after tomorrow ! I 'm so so psyched . It 's going to be so awesome ! In the meantime , check out these pretty flowers my boyfriend sent me at work . Aren 't they so pretty ? I hope they 're still ok , I was homesick from work today and I think they probably really needed their water changed . I love looking at them , they 're so vibrant and so unlike the rest of my office , I find myself just staring at them for really long stretches . I 'm thinking I should always have flowers on my desk . I 'm off to bed , but I 'll leave you with a pretty crappy picture of the last book I made . I know , I finally made another book ! Nighty night ! mel 1 . my love for you is a stampede of horses - Ok , first of all , I just love the title of her blog . So romantic , huh ? The author , Meighan , has a great eye for art , jewelry , and fashion . I have been introduced to so many innovative and unique artists through this blog . When I started reading this blog , Meighan was living in San Francisco , and in a section called cutiepies I could check out what all the cool kids in my town were wearing . Recently she moved to Boston , so I 'm excited to start seeing how the cool kids in New England are gussying themselves up . 2 . Wooster Collective - On the Wooster Collective site they have the most amazing collection of street art I have ever seen . People send in their photos of works from all over the world . If you are ever feeling a little rut - ish , Wooster Collective is a good place to look for inspiration , you will be awed by the art , trust me . Here 's an example of one of my favorites , from London . 3 . little doodles - This is Kate Wilson 's blog . Kate does the most adorable illustrations of little birds and the most drool inducing fashion drawings . She makes clothes and ( especially ) shoes look even more delicious than real life . For the last few days she 's been putting her impeccable taste to use making holiday gift guides for her readers . Looks like a very stylish Christmas . 4 . typewriter - Here is a fun blog out of Canada . It 's written by the mastermind behind KiwiPunchDesigns , where you can purchase lovely hand stitched greeting cards . She often posts her works in progress , but the blog is definitely more personal journal than all business . Which is fine by me because she is quite the winning writer ; she is funny and cheerful and sweet . Also , I love reading blogs and feeling that something isn 't quite right , and gradually putting the pieces together to find that they are writing from some where outside the US . I just love blogs from foreign lands ! That is one of the cool things about typewriter , I feel like I really get a sense of Canadian life . Sigh . Why is the weekend so short ? I have somehow broken through the wall that did not allow me to sleep past 8 am and , let me tell you , I am NOT happy about it . I used to think there was nothing lovelier than sleeping in past noon on a Saturday after being up all night on Friday . That was way back then , when I would have weekdays free to go to places that are open during the day only . Now , I have but one day to do things like go to the post office , or the museum , or a matinee , or , god forbid , the bank : Saturday . Waking up at 8 made it possible for me to do all that and still feel like I was having a nice relaxing weekend day . Like I said before , I got a big , fat NOTHING done this weekend . But , sitting here at work , I 'm starting to get a little inspired ! I 'm thinking about something cute to do for Christmas ornaments that is kind of 2 - dimensional , yet sculptural . . . I 'm being inspired by that Joseph Cornell exhibit I talked about , so I want to something in collage . I hope I won 't be too tired when I get home from class tonight to work on some stuff . Okay , so I have to give a shout out to an awesome Etsy shop , Bradli . A little while ago , I purchased this facial soap and it was soooo awesome . I had this little rough patch on my chin ( that I am praying is not psoriasis , as that is something runs in my family ) and I couldn 't get it to go away ; I tried exfoliating and moisturizing , different facial washes and nothing was working . The Bradli face bar was the only thing that made the rough patch COMPLETELY go away . It 's amazing . As long as I use the bar , no rough patch . As soon as I stop , the patch comes back . So , there it is , my ringing endorsement of Bradli 's Luxury Facial Bar with Avocado , Cucumber , Clay , Chamomile etc . , etc . , . . . . . . which , I just saw , is no longer in Bradli 's shop . Bradli ! Please ! This is my plea to you : bring the luxury facial bar back ! I don 't just want it , I need it . mel I hope things work out better today ! I don 't know what happened yesterday , my post just kept getting deleted . I guess , technically , I 've now failed at NaBloPoMo . Boo . It shouldn 't really count though , because I was trying to get a blog post up yesterday ! It wasn 't my fault ! I guess I should have tried to post earlier . I think weekends are going to be the hardest because on weekdays I 'm at my computer all day , so it 's not so hard . On weekends though I 'm usually out all day . This is definitely going to be a challenge . Anyway , this was another unproductive weekend . I don 't know why I 've been so uninspired to work lately . I hope my passion will reignite soon and I 'll get some cool new books made . I am excited about my art class , we 're doing photo collages and then blowing them up and drawing them . I already made my collages , they 're pretty neat , but it 's going to be hard to decide which one to use in my final project . If anyone is thinking of taking a drawing or printing class at CCSF I would definitely recommend taking one with Robin Kaneshiro , he is really really great teacher . I love this class so much . Along with the NaBloPoMo , this month I am also trying to cut down on the amount of times I eat out . Right now , we eat dinner out almost every night , and I eat lunch out at least half the time . It 's really bad ! So , we 're really going to try hard to cook more . I cooked tonight and last night . Both times it was super delicious . Last night we had a kind of tamale pie / taco casserole thing and tonight we had miso chicken and mashed potatoes . Yummy . Keep your fingers crossed for me that I can sustain ! mel things are being weird , my posts keep getting deleted . check back tomorrow to see if things are improved . i 'm going to go cry myself to sleep now . All right , this is some exciting stuff here folks . Courtesy of the Etsy front page , today I discovered that there are items in Lizette Greco 's shop ! Her shop was on my personal favorites before I even really knew what Etsy was . I can 't remember where I first heard about her , but I guess that doesn 't really matter . All we need to know here is that she is amazingly talented . She creates plush dolls and other sewn items based on drawings done by her two children . I 'm not exactly sure how old they are , somewhere in the four to six range . Lizette recreates the drawings in 3 - d with an accuracy that is almost magical . I fell in love at first sight . Look at this rocket bag ! If I were richie rich it would so be mine . It 's so cool . Another cool thing to do is to go to her website where there is a link to her flick page where you can look at all her work next to the drawings her kids did so you can do a little compare and contrast for your very own self ! Neat , right ? You should totally check it outTonight I am seeing Lars and The Real Girl , so , I gotta scoot . As Neal Cohnan would say , bye bye . mel So , I am participating in NaBloPoMo . . . . which is National Blog Posting Month . . . . which means I have to post on my blog everyday ! For the whole month of November ! Even saturday and sunday ! This is for sure going to be a challenge for me , because I am one of the laziest bloggers I know . I 'm excited though , I hope I find some really cool stuff for y ' all to read about . That being said , I unfortunately have very little to say today . I am sooooo tired . I actually had to do real work at work today ( as opposed to every other day , when I don 't ) and it really tuckered me out ! I had this really awesome dinner planned to , but now I 'm almost 100 % sure that it 's not happening . Which is sad , but , whatever . I took a shower though , and I feel fairly refreshed , so don 't worry about me . Oh ! I thought of something cool to talk about . On Saturday I went on a little field trip for my drawing class to the SFMoMA to see an exhibit of the work of Joseph Cornell . I wasn 't expecting too much , but I was really blown away . I can 't believe I had never heard of Cornell before . I was totally entranced by his work . He created amazing , ethereal collages on paper , but what I found most interesting were his " boxes " which were like 3 - d collages . He was influenced by movies and starlets and birds and surrealism . His work is so intricate , but they have a childlike feeling of wonder and innocence . I 'm not sure if this exhibit is touring , but if it comes to your town you should definitely check it out . I found him to be so inspiring , I 'm going back this weekend ( maybe ) . If you live in San Francisco you should FOR SURE go , like right now . The museum is open until 8 or something on thursdays . Click here for more info . See you tomorrow ! mel Well , I haven 't been crafty in a while because I have been supa supa busy supastar ! And that means no blogging either . Sorry . But whoa , whoa , that just won 't do , so here 's something fun and easy ; riding on the coattails of others ' craftiness ! This will be a regular feature , popping up whenever I am having a bit of the ol ' " crafter 's block . " So , without further ado , the first six ( in no particular order ) of my very favoritest blogs ! 1 . jenslekman . comThis is first on the list because I am sosososososososososo excited about the Jens Lekman show I 'm going to next week ! I am super psyched about it . Jens Lekman is a totally amazing Swedish popstar singer / songwriter . When you read his blog , you can almost feel what it 's like to be Swedish . Also , he talks about music he likes ( usually it is awesome ; afrobeat or more Swedish pop ) and he sometimes puts some rad mp3s up from his EPs or mixtapes that he makes . My favorite thing about the blog is that Jens is not shy about his fondness for Paul Simon , which , hey , that 's kind of a brave stance to take ! Paul Simon is , I think , generally thought of as not very hip . 2 . jezebel . comJezebel is my current favorite celeb gossip type blog . I have been reading the gossip blogs for a few years now and I 've had my favorites , but Jezebel is , I think , really the best of the lot . They have the most pertinent gossip without going so in depth that it gets boring , but they also have actual news sometimes , and political news and clips from the Tyra Banks show and fashion and it 's REALLY funny . And it 's pretty rude . Sometimes it may be NSFW , depending on how conservative your office is . My favorite regular feature on Jezebel is the " Crap email from a Dude " which is basically emails guys sent to break up with girls . Oh , they are so cringe - inducingly awesome . 3 . gofugyourselfThis is my favorite blog of all time , as you may know if you are a regular reader of this blog . It 's hard to elaborate on the basic premise : pictures of celebs and wannabe celebs wearing ridiculous clothes with commentary on jusPosted by I was thinking today , what with Halloween right around the corner and all , about these cute dangly skeleton earrings that my mom had when I was a kid . This innocent bit of nostalgia led , of course , to an Etsy search ! and , once again , Etsy does not disappoint . First , these Dancing Skeletons by TeaCupieShopThese are probably the most like the ones my mom had , but these don 't move . Mom 's had limbs that were connected by little metal rings so they would dance around when she moved . Like these by emmbobAh , reading the description of these Skellingtons , emmbob says they are " articulated . " That 's the word I was looking for . It means awesome , right ? Ha ha . Those two pieces best embody what I was looking for , but the great thing about Etsy is you always find something you never knew you wanted . Like these Pygmy Skeleton earrings by Dionythicusand these Evil Green Glowing Skull earrings by whatshesaid which , Bonus ! , are on sale ! Scary ! These Spine Tingle earrings by TillyBloom are definitely different , and soooo beautiful . I was trying to pick my favorite pair of earrings by JessicaFink that I came upon in my search , but I just couldn 't choose only one , they are so cool ! So here they all areDay of the Dead Skeleton earrings Fire Skeleton earrings in neon yellow , neon orange , and neon pink . And , because I just can 't resist , her adorable Monster earrings in yellow and pink . Because monsters are for Halloween too , right ? I hope these amazing earrings will inspire you to come up with some great spooky outfits for your forthcoming Halloween parties ! mel Okay , so remember the buttons I was so excited about making ? Well , the supplies I bought to make them are totally janky , as in they don 't work . So , I am gluing buttons . IT IS TAKING FOREVER . Also , sometimes I have to stop and be sad and frustrated , which is really time consuming . And I realized I haven 't seen a movie in a very long time . mel Hi , I am back . Back to blogging . I 've been out of town for a week . I 've seen some people I haven 't seen in ages and ages . It feels very strange to be back home . Everything is a little bit surreal . I figured , what better way to get back in the swing of things than to do a little bloggity blog bloggy ? So , what is up with me , you ask ? Well , things are going better than I ever expected . My notebooks are selling surprisingly well . Tonight though , I am not working on notebooks , I 'm working on buttons . The Sampler is doing a new thing called City Sampler where they feature products all made by artists from a certain city , and the first city is San Francisco ! Since I 've lost a week , I really need to get to work so I can make the deadline for submissions . I 'm really excited about this because I had been planning on getting something together for the next Sampler anyway , but it will be much cooler to have my first sampler be a San Francisco sampler . Other than that , I am just relaxing , trying to get ready for the shell shock of going to work tomorrow . I 'm downloading music by Mika and Mickey Avalon ; my sister introduced me to their music while I was away and I liked it , which is odd because my taste in music and my sister 's generally do not overlap . I guess I 'm just feeling the dancy trashy stuff these days . Also , I am shopping on Etsy of course ! I 'm really considering buying jewelry from one of my very first favorite shops , Marshatoh . All of her pieces are so gorgeous , I 'm just worried that , if I were to buy something , it would become another of my jewelry casualties , because I almost never wear jewelry . For some reason I am super self conscious about it . But just look at these , how can I not obssess over them ? So pretty , right ? I just love the lariat necklace . I like the polished wood , it makes the pieces look so light and cool . Decisions decisions . . . . mel So , hooray , the lithium solution worked ! I popped those babies in the digicam and ; presto ! Worked like a charm . And here is the evidence : two new listings on my etsy page ! A cute lil ' Kris Kristofferson notebook and a larger than normal Jane Fonda Workout notebook . How do the pictures look ? With the Jane Fonda book , I used this lightbox that Steve made for me . I think they turned out pretty well . Oh , also , I have to give credit to Steve for the lithium idea , he is the author . Sorry for being misleading in my last post . I can 't remember if I mentioned this , but I joined a bookbinders ' street team on Etsy ! It 's called BEST for short , and it is awesome ! Here is a link to the blog . I am psyched to be in the company of so many awesome etsy sellers like myhandbound books , comfortableshoes , operationpapercut , and lots and lots more . There is a list on the blog , and I highly recommend taking a look at all the shops . You should also take a look at the BEST treasury on etsy . . . because I 'm in it ! Yay , I love being in treasuries . I 'm hoping to make this a big crafting weekend ; I have a few plans , like going to see Lawrence of Arabia . It 's playing at the Castro Theater ( which is pretty much the most awesome theater in San Francisco ) as part of their 70mm series they do every so often . L o A is one of the films they show all the time , they also always show Ghostbusters in 70mm , which is SO awesome , but I 've never seen L o A before . I was going to rent it through netflix , but Steve told me to wait . We 'll see if it 's worth it , because I think I 'm even going to have to pay for it ! Also , I think we might go bowling , which would be awesome , and I am supposed to go to a game night . Sounds pretty action packed , huh ? mel I 'm being a very lazy blogger . I have two excuses : one , I have been having busy exciting days recently , seeing as how I have sold six items from my etsy shop ! I am beyond thrilled , honestly . It 's like a giant weight off my shoulders . Unfortunately , excuse two has put that weight right back on ; my new camera has not worked since I replaced the batteries two days ago . I have been spending a lot of time whining about that . Tonight Steve and I conjecture that perhaps I need to put in lithium batteries , which is the type I was using before , instead of regular batteries . Hopefully that will prove to work because I have made some really cool notebooks and it is just killing me that I cannot list them on my shop right now ! I 've just had an aha ! moment . I was feeling like I had gotten some sun today , my face feels all sore , but I couldn 't figure out why . Now I think I know , it was the crazy wind today . It was seriously insane wind , especially strange because it has been disgustingly hot ( for San Francisco anyway ) here lately . Then today , cold and insanely windy . Tonight there are supposed to be thundershowers ! That is truly the one thing I hate about public transportation ; having to use it while it 's raining . It 's just the pits . In other news , I have had my first feature on a blog ! It 's a cute little thing called Treasure Trove , all about featuring DIY artists . I have a feeling I am going to be in some pretty awesome company . Check it HERE . I have seriously got to get to bed y ' all . Hopefully tomorrow I will have good camera news ! mel All right , so the general consensus seems to be that readers of this blog ( all one of you ) have had enough of my spotty fashion week coverage . Well , that is fine with me because I am kind of tired of it as well . I enjoyed writing about it , don 't get me wrong , it 's just that deciding which pictures to post and then actually posting them and getting them positioned right ; what a pain that was . I guess at the current time I 'm just not cut out to be a big time web editor . If you want to see / read more about fashion , I definitely recommend checking out the Show & Talk blog from New York magazine , I think it is the most fun and comprehensive coverage of fashion week on the interwebs . And , of course , it is the fashion week home of the Fug Girls . On with the Craft ! I have been lagging a bit on my crafting lately , it 's been tough with my evening class two nights a week and an obligation on tuesday night ( pub quiz is very important to me , ok ? ) to find time when I 'm not exhausted . And my crafting area ( our coffee table in our tiny living room ) is super super messy right now . I did manage to crank out two really cute notebooks last night though , because on Wednesday night I cut paper for a couple hours . It really helped ! It was so nice to have all my paper ready to go . I think this will have to become a regular thing . Anyway , like I said , the notebooks are super cool . One is made from a Supremes album cover and I used insert as the inside cover lining . The other is made from a New York subway system map from the seventies . I 'll post pictures and have those up in my shop later this afternoon ( I hope ) . The other thing I 'm excited about is this awesome roving I bought yesterday ! I 've been thinking about making felt beads for a while now , I love how they look , so yesterday I bought this : Isn 't it pretty ! It 's merino wool and the name is orange creamsicle . . . yummy , no ? I bought it from etsy seller alittlequacky 's shop , A Knitting Duck ( ha ha ) . She has so much pretty roving , it was hard to choose , but I like this to start . If all goePosted by I know I promised Vena Cava like a million days ago , but I have to talk about Marc Jacobs right now , and if I have time , I will get to more . But more likely , the other shows will have to wait again . Now , here 's the thing about Marc Jacobs : I kind of love him , and I kind of hate him . I love his logo , I love his perfumes , I love the bottles his perfume comes in , I love the mouse shoes , I love Marc by Marc Jacobs with the cute totes and tshirts , I love the enamel apple clock pendant . . . but I hate the majority of what he puts out on the runway , I hate his advertisements with Dakota Fanning and Sofia Coppola and I hate his obsession with the 1990s . I get it , Marc , you were THE grunge designer , whatever . It 's too soon to bring it back . He can 't just let it die , though , so we get this : And this : Nice midriff . Anyway , I read a few places that this show was supposed to be inspired by Grey Gardens . I 've never seen that movie , blah blah , but I felt that the show was a little more Jackie O on crack . Witness : What I do have to give Marc Jacobs credit for , which is also the reason , I think , that I am still a Marc Jacobs believer , is that he really has a great eye for color . Look at this : Okay , please ignore the skirt ( what is up with skirts this season ? ) and just focus on the color combinations . Red , turquoise and seafoam green ? I never in a million years could have imagined this would look so hot . It 's the perfect way to take advantage of how good green and red look against each other without coming off all Christmassy . And the shoes , even though I can 't see them that well , I am totally coveting them . This is the look that made me fall in love with Marc Jacobs all over again for the first time . With the first few looks I was sad because I felt like it was really over for me , I was definitely done with him . I just can 't parse with this : Or this : But then he blows me away with this : Again , please focus on the colors . Yellow . . . and yellow - orange ! Who know they 'd make such a great team ? I 'm having heart palpitations here , I don 't know Posted by As promised , I will now be showing you my hits and misses from the adam + eve show . The designer is Adam Lippes , who was previously at Polo / Ralph Lauren and Oscar de la Renta , and it shows people . I found most of the stuff to be very fun , luxe but still effortless and casual . Refreshingly different from the couture shows . I wish every show were sportswear ! The really great thing about Adam + Eve , were the models ! Attractive models ! How novel ! Although , someone had this bright idea : Why the doorag , Adam ? While I love this shirt ( perhaps stripes are in this season , hmm ? ) I simply cannot get behind the headgear . Luckily , this gal was spared the indignity : And , bonus ! , she got to wear this beautiful dress . I am so in love with the dress , it 's killing me . I 'm so glad yellow is still in . This shade is much fresher though . We get some boys strutting their stuff here too . Let 's see , this is a yes : Oh , sorry , this is a definite no : Black sneakers with your crisp white pants ? For shame ! Also , you kind of look like Richard Kiel . . . I don 't know how I feel about that . Yes , it wasn 't all good . . . here 's a better view of that doorag : But overall Adam + Eve is my favorite show so far . It doesn 't have such stiff competition however . Take Erin Fetherston for instance . I 've been hearing all kind of buzz on her , she 's the next big thing blah blah blah , so I was very excited to view her show . Well , oh my : Here 's your show opener . A turban ? Look , I know y ' all are trying to bring the turban back , but I 'm afraid ( read : I hope to god ) it ain 't gonna happen . And y ' know , if you 're going to try , you might as well do it right and put it on a model whose head can handle it . Lord knows it 's not this girl . You may notice that this model 's eyes look kind of weird . I was seriously disturbed by this because it turns out to be a reoccurring theme and I couldn 't really believe that it was done purposely . But it was ! These girls have their eyes covered in powdery white ! Here 's a close up look so you don 't get all freaked at further pictures like I did : Sorry , I know Posted by Hello , my name is mel , welcome to my blog . This is where I will talk about awesome artists I have come upon as well as things I 'm making and things you can buy from Roska Handmade ! Thanks for stopping by !
|
The Little Girl and the Plastic Card a short story about curbing your " wanter " and being responsibleinspired by true events . Once upon a time there was a little girl . She was smart and she had a kind heart , but she suffered from a disorder . It seems that whenever she walked into a store , she was struck with the unbearable desire to purchase something . But the little girl almost always turned out empty pockets , unable to find the coveted green paper she knew the people behind the counter wanted before she could take her desired item home . Then one day , while she was getting groceries with her mother , she learned of a better way to take home the things she wanted . It was small and plastic , and her mother called it a ' credit card ' . " Mommy , mommy ! " the girl exclaimed . " I want one , too ! Then I can get all of the things that I want , and all by myself ! " " No sweetheart , " her mother said , gently patting her on the head . " You can 't have one of these until you 're a grown - up . " Disappointed , the child nodded her head . And after that , she dreamed of the day when she would be a grown - up . She would get a plastic card and never have to worry about not having money again . When the little girl got older , she did indeed get herself a card . And although she had learned that having the card didn 't take place of the money , the symptoms of her disorder were still present . Only now when she walked into a store , turning out empty pockets didn 't mean going home empty handed . All she had to do was swipe the plastic card and sign her name . Life was good . But then one day , as she was minding her own business , her father poked his head in her bedroom . As he pushed the door open to talk to her , she saw that in his hands he held an envelope . She recognized her name on the front , and it bore the same logo as her credit card . " What is this ! ? " her father asked , a confused expression on his face . The girl batted her eyelashes and bit her lip . " It 's my credit card bill , right Daddy ? " she asked , doing her best to look innocent . Although she didn 't knoFrom pencil to paper by Single white female seeking real man in it for " long haul " . Turn ons - Intelligence . Ability to speak the english language with competence and ease . The smell of chocolate . A sense of humor . EDIT : : An APPROPRIATE sense of humor . Ability to read minds , as it will come in handy - - Trust me . Respectful attitude . Turn offs - Extreme body odor . Grease . Small insects . Phlegm . Excessive amounts of hair . Plumber 's butt . Pretending to listen . Unbearable voice . Foot - in - Mouth Syndrome . Toenail clippings . Leaving the toilet seat up . Gum under tables . Not knowing when to shut up . Being a sore loser . Not understanding when you 're not near as cool as you think . Intolerance . About Me : I 'm fun loving and I enjoy trying new things . I 'm not picky . I love money and I like being comfortable . I plan to graduate college but I would rather not work any longer than I have to . I complain a lot and I 'm sort of a pessimist , but I make up for it with cynicism . I 'm loyal for as long as I can stand it , and I never ever ever ever ever ever lie , make mistakes , or exaggerate . I am moody , unstable , out of control , demanding , emotional , easily amused , giddy , hungry , insecure , happy , crazy , intelligent , bold , mature , unbelievable , shy , independent , undecided , creative , needy , confusing , and imperfect . Men , approach with caution . Boys need not apply . Well folks , it 's happened . Believe it or not , I am now fabulously 21 years old ! Well , okay , like . . . a week ago today . So I 'm 21 and 7 days . Anyway , remember that post where I talked about growing up and how at 21 I 'd be running low on excuses ? Well let me just say , while all of that may still be true , I don 't feel any different . I 'm thinking I should have known , because really when does any birthday really feel like you 're older ? Technically , you 're only a day older than you were the day before . It 's just been a year since that day . . . the year before . I suppose it 's much more mental than anything . Like , it may have only been one more day , but it was also the day that I became 21 . I was thinking about it , and I realized that sometimes the dignity and grace that come with " growing up " isn 't always optional . Yes , that means I have an anecdote . Are you ready for this ? And I 'll preface it - this didn 't happen to me after 21 . . . but come on , 20 is still pretty " adult " , right ? Okay , now it 's time to casually transition from " I 'm 21 ! Huzzah ! " to " Can you believe this happened ? Me either ! " So this particular incident happened at work . I got to work , all was well . In fact , I was bookin ' it pretty well that night ( I change the " on sale for ___ " signs ) and decided I had enough time to make a potty break . I don 't think it 's necessary to go into that except to say that that too went fine . In fact , I was unaware that there was an issue until . . . oh . . . I don 't know , about twenty minutes later . Again , since I was making good time , I paused at the shoe department to quickly browse through the clearance shoes . I don 't remember what I found , but I know I tried one on because I had to track down a mirror . Can 't buy shoes without seeing how they look on ya , right ? So there I am , with my one black shoe and my one try - on shoe , and I turn to get a profile view and that 's when I see it . The toilet paper . No , not stuck to the bottom of my shoe , that would be too normal . No , this particular length of toilet paper is tucked in the back of my pants . IN THFrom pencil to paper by Once upon a time there was this cockroach . For the sake of the story , we will call him Bill . One day Bill moved into a new home . My home . And on one fateful evening , Bill found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time . Which was , incidentally , on my kitchen counter in the p . m . I had no choice - the cockroach must perish ! WHAP ! My fly swatter brutally wacked the cockroach , but just once . Bill couldn 't have seen it coming . Then , as I studied my results , I was overwhelmed with guilt and sorrow . Poor little Bill was still alive , struggling to walk , battered but not defeated . And I am ashamed to admit it but here it is anyway - I started to cry . That 's right , you heard me . I cried . I had to put the poor Bill out of his misery . The misery that I had inflicted . The moral of this story is ; never name any insect whose life you are about to end . Because a name in itself gives the bug a personality , and a personality is painful to destroy . I can 't walk through my house when it 's all dark . I have a night light in my bathroom , and if I could sleep with a light without it driving me nuts , I 'd probably have one in my room , too . I systematically use lights to ' keep myself safe ' when I 'm heading from the livingroom to my room , but only if I 'm the last one up . As long as someone else is awake , I 'm fine . I have the kitchen light on , then I go to my bathroom and turn that light on , and then on to my room . Then I head back to the living room , cell phone lit up ( for some extra light , of course ! ) and switch off that light , then look over my shoulder the entire ( short ) walk to my bathroom , where I flip off that light and pull the door to , and then hurry to my room , checking the hall behind me before I close the door . And even then , I turn on my overhead light , then the light on my nightstand , THEN I turn off my overhead light , crawl into bed , make sure my phone is lit up before I turn off my nightstand light , and then get comfy all in the time it takes for my cell phone to dim and lock itself . Yes , I 'm an absolute chicken . No doubt aFrom pencil to paper by I really miss my dog . And you know , I really don 't think it 's fair . I mean sure , technically it is . And he had a really long , really good life . He was loved , he was spoiled , he was happy . But I just wish I could have had a little bit longer . Although I 'm sure I 'm not the first nor will I be the last person to wish that about anything . I guess I just still hate the fact that I wasn 't home when it happened . I think in the long run it 's best because I can 't imagine how hard it would have been . Mom said he couldn 't even stand up , and that it was very pitiful and heartbreaking , but I wish I could have at least rode with him to the vet 's , sort of had the chance to " say goodbye " . I think I 'm just lacking closure . Since the last time I saw him he looked fine , normal - maybe just a little stiff in the hind legs , but he 'd been laying down for awhile - it 's just so difficult to believe even now that between when I left and when I came back he got so sick that he had to go to the vet to be put on an IV . And it 's even more unexpected that the next day he was gone . Just gone , just like that . I suppose " that 's life , " it 's " how the cookie crumbles , " just " the way things are , " or whatever other cliche phrase you can think up . But when it all comes down to it , that just doesn 't help , does it ? I mean does that actually make anyone feel better ? Maybe in time , but when it 's still in the first few months ? I can shake my head and tell myself , " Don 't be silly . That 's just life , " but I get no satisfaction or comfort out of it . I 'm glad that it happened naturally because I just don 't know if I would have been able to make the choice to put him down , even if it was what would have been best . Maybe if I 'd been there when he got bad ; if I saw that it could have been different . But as it is , I just don 't know . I think I would have been too selfish , I would have wanted to him to stay as long as possible . Cowboy was the best dog ever . I desperately miss him . Every time I see puppies I want one . I don 't want to replace him , or put off the grief . If you know me , you know I already cry plenty over EVERYTHING , and my best friend is no exception . But I desperately miss feeling like I have a dog of my own . We still have another dog , and I feel bad for maybe . . . not appreciating her as much as I could . But the difference between her and Cowboy ( besides the fact that I grew up with Cowboy ) is that I know Cowboy was all mine , specifically , because I begged and begged . I feel like I don 't have a buddy anymore . It 's just . . . different . It 's different than if he had just shown up . I know it 's not an easy thing to get over , and it never will be . But I just wish that somehow it could be . I don 't think I 'll ever not miss Cowboy . He was special , he was incredibly unique . He was protective but gentle , loving , smart , playful . I hate that he 's not here right now . But I don 't hate that he 's no longer in pain . And at least he knew I loved him . We 're down to two pets , now . Both outdoor ones . It would seem that the terrible 2008 had to rear it 's ugly head again . As I 'm sure I mentioned before , the beginning of my year was awful . First my Grandpa , then my best friend - my dog , and now our cat Murphy , who was a member of this family a few years before I was . She was 23 years old , and she held on as long as she could . Longer than I thought she 'd last , actually . And of course this would happen while Mom is out of town . I wish she could have been here because I feel like poor Murphy never really got to be comforted by her momma . She left us sometime early this morning , I think , because I didn 't go to bed until nearly 3 am . When I woke up at ten , there she was . In the living room , more or less where I left her when I went to bed . So what has my morning consisted of ? Begrudgingly waking up , hitting the bathroom , and finding the cat . Letting dad know and then standing outside while we dug a hole , and then distracting our dog while he buried her . I 'll even miss her incredibly loud , I - have - to - pause - my - DVD - because - I - can 't - hear - over - her meowing . And feeding her when mom goes out of town , and cleaning the stupid catbox . R . I . P . Murphy . Maybe now Cowboy will have a friend upstairs . Today has been one of those incredibly slow , equally uneventful days . Is this a bad thing ? Not necessarily . I haven 't had a bad day , per say , but has it been fabulous ? Hardly . I suppose you could call it a fair mix of good and bad . Let me explain . Bad : I initially woke up in a relatively unpleasant manner - the sound of a horn honking outside my window . I literally shot up and fumbled for my glasses ( if I haven 't mentioned it before , I 'm effectively blind without them ) in time to see a car slowing to honk - for the second time - at my dog , Kelsi , who took a moment to study the oncoming car before deciding to amble back up the driveway . After I calmed myself down , I went back to sleep . Good : It wasn 't too hard to fall asleep again , considering ( Bad : ) I was awake until nearly 5 trying to figure out how to get the header for this blog right . Which , incidentally , I didn 't get done until this afternoon . And I slept for another hour or so before waking up again . Bad : I felt rather ill . Good : I lounged in bed for nearly two hours , staring at the ceiling , reading , dozing . Which was definitely nice . Bad : I didn 't eat ' lunch ' until nearly 6 because I spent the majority of my day waiting for someone else to be hungry . The thing is , my mom was at work and my dad . . . he decided to sleep more today that I did . I think by the time he got up , I was leaving to get my food . Good : My food was good . : ) And finally , a double dose . Good / Bad : I got called in to work tomorrow night . Bad because I was looking forward to the day off , and , if my plans pan out , I 'll have to cut them short . Good because I haven 't worked at all this week so even the twenty or so bucks I 'll get from tomorrow night will be twenty bucks I didn 't have . And good because , even when I don 't feel like going to work , if I 've felt bored and unproductive that day going to work actually makes me feel like I 'm doing something with my life . Oh , and ( Good : ) my supervisor will be back at work next week . I missed her unique sense of humor . And that basically recaps my day . Watched TV , wFrom pencil to paper by
|
The Little Girl and the Plastic Card a short story about curbing your " wanter " and being responsibleinspired by true events . Once upon a time there was a little girl . She was smart and she had a kind heart , but she suffered from a disorder . It seems that whenever she walked into a store , she was struck with the unbearable desire to purchase something . But the little girl almost always turned out empty pockets , unable to find the coveted green paper she knew the people behind the counter wanted before she could take her desired item home . Then one day , while she was getting groceries with her mother , she learned of a better way to take home the things she wanted . It was small and plastic , and her mother called it a ' credit card ' . " Mommy , mommy ! " the girl exclaimed . " I want one , too ! Then I can get all of the things that I want , and all by myself ! " " No sweetheart , " her mother said , gently patting her on the head . " You can 't have one of these until you 're a grown - up . " Disappointed , the child nodded her head . And after that , she dreamed of the day when she would be a grown - up . She would get a plastic card and never have to worry about not having money again . When the little girl got older , she did indeed get herself a card . And although she had learned that having the card didn 't take place of the money , the symptoms of her disorder were still present . Only now when she walked into a store , turning out empty pockets didn 't mean going home empty handed . All she had to do was swipe the plastic card and sign her name . Life was good . But then one day , as she was minding her own business , her father poked his head in her bedroom . As he pushed the door open to talk to her , she saw that in his hands he held an envelope . She recognized her name on the front , and it bore the same logo as her credit card . " What is this ! ? " her father asked , a confused expression on his face . The girl batted her eyelashes and bit her lip . " It 's my credit card bill , right Daddy ? " she asked , doing her best to look innocent . Although she didn 't knoFrom pencil to paper by Single white female seeking real man in it for " long haul " . Turn ons - Intelligence . Ability to speak the english language with competence and ease . The smell of chocolate . A sense of humor . EDIT : : An APPROPRIATE sense of humor . Ability to read minds , as it will come in handy - - Trust me . Respectful attitude . Turn offs - Extreme body odor . Grease . Small insects . Phlegm . Excessive amounts of hair . Plumber 's butt . Pretending to listen . Unbearable voice . Foot - in - Mouth Syndrome . Toenail clippings . Leaving the toilet seat up . Gum under tables . Not knowing when to shut up . Being a sore loser . Not understanding when you 're not near as cool as you think . Intolerance . About Me : I 'm fun loving and I enjoy trying new things . I 'm not picky . I love money and I like being comfortable . I plan to graduate college but I would rather not work any longer than I have to . I complain a lot and I 'm sort of a pessimist , but I make up for it with cynicism . I 'm loyal for as long as I can stand it , and I never ever ever ever ever ever lie , make mistakes , or exaggerate . I am moody , unstable , out of control , demanding , emotional , easily amused , giddy , hungry , insecure , happy , crazy , intelligent , bold , mature , unbelievable , shy , independent , undecided , creative , needy , confusing , and imperfect . Men , approach with caution . Boys need not apply . Well folks , it 's happened . Believe it or not , I am now fabulously 21 years old ! Well , okay , like . . . a week ago today . So I 'm 21 and 7 days . Anyway , remember that post where I talked about growing up and how at 21 I 'd be running low on excuses ? Well let me just say , while all of that may still be true , I don 't feel any different . I 'm thinking I should have known , because really when does any birthday really feel like you 're older ? Technically , you 're only a day older than you were the day before . It 's just been a year since that day . . . the year before . I suppose it 's much more mental than anything . Like , it may have only been one more day , but it was also the day that I became 21 . I was thinking about it , and I realized that sometimes the dignity and grace that come with " growing up " isn 't always optional . Yes , that means I have an anecdote . Are you ready for this ? And I 'll preface it - this didn 't happen to me after 21 . . . but come on , 20 is still pretty " adult " , right ? Okay , now it 's time to casually transition from " I 'm 21 ! Huzzah ! " to " Can you believe this happened ? Me either ! " So this particular incident happened at work . I got to work , all was well . In fact , I was bookin ' it pretty well that night ( I change the " on sale for ___ " signs ) and decided I had enough time to make a potty break . I don 't think it 's necessary to go into that except to say that that too went fine . In fact , I was unaware that there was an issue until . . . oh . . . I don 't know , about twenty minutes later . Again , since I was making good time , I paused at the shoe department to quickly browse through the clearance shoes . I don 't remember what I found , but I know I tried one on because I had to track down a mirror . Can 't buy shoes without seeing how they look on ya , right ? So there I am , with my one black shoe and my one try - on shoe , and I turn to get a profile view and that 's when I see it . The toilet paper . No , not stuck to the bottom of my shoe , that would be too normal . No , this particular length of toilet paper is tucked in the back of my pants . IN THFrom pencil to paper by Once upon a time there was this cockroach . For the sake of the story , we will call him Bill . One day Bill moved into a new home . My home . And on one fateful evening , Bill found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time . Which was , incidentally , on my kitchen counter in the p . m . I had no choice - the cockroach must perish ! WHAP ! My fly swatter brutally wacked the cockroach , but just once . Bill couldn 't have seen it coming . Then , as I studied my results , I was overwhelmed with guilt and sorrow . Poor little Bill was still alive , struggling to walk , battered but not defeated . And I am ashamed to admit it but here it is anyway - I started to cry . That 's right , you heard me . I cried . I had to put the poor Bill out of his misery . The misery that I had inflicted . The moral of this story is ; never name any insect whose life you are about to end . Because a name in itself gives the bug a personality , and a personality is painful to destroy . I can 't walk through my house when it 's all dark . I have a night light in my bathroom , and if I could sleep with a light without it driving me nuts , I 'd probably have one in my room , too . I systematically use lights to ' keep myself safe ' when I 'm heading from the livingroom to my room , but only if I 'm the last one up . As long as someone else is awake , I 'm fine . I have the kitchen light on , then I go to my bathroom and turn that light on , and then on to my room . Then I head back to the living room , cell phone lit up ( for some extra light , of course ! ) and switch off that light , then look over my shoulder the entire ( short ) walk to my bathroom , where I flip off that light and pull the door to , and then hurry to my room , checking the hall behind me before I close the door . And even then , I turn on my overhead light , then the light on my nightstand , THEN I turn off my overhead light , crawl into bed , make sure my phone is lit up before I turn off my nightstand light , and then get comfy all in the time it takes for my cell phone to dim and lock itself . Yes , I 'm an absolute chicken . No doubt aFrom pencil to paper by I really miss my dog . And you know , I really don 't think it 's fair . I mean sure , technically it is . And he had a really long , really good life . He was loved , he was spoiled , he was happy . But I just wish I could have had a little bit longer . Although I 'm sure I 'm not the first nor will I be the last person to wish that about anything . I guess I just still hate the fact that I wasn 't home when it happened . I think in the long run it 's best because I can 't imagine how hard it would have been . Mom said he couldn 't even stand up , and that it was very pitiful and heartbreaking , but I wish I could have at least rode with him to the vet 's , sort of had the chance to " say goodbye " . I think I 'm just lacking closure . Since the last time I saw him he looked fine , normal - maybe just a little stiff in the hind legs , but he 'd been laying down for awhile - it 's just so difficult to believe even now that between when I left and when I came back he got so sick that he had to go to the vet to be put on an IV . And it 's even more unexpected that the next day he was gone . Just gone , just like that . I suppose " that 's life , " it 's " how the cookie crumbles , " just " the way things are , " or whatever other cliche phrase you can think up . But when it all comes down to it , that just doesn 't help , does it ? I mean does that actually make anyone feel better ? Maybe in time , but when it 's still in the first few months ? I can shake my head and tell myself , " Don 't be silly . That 's just life , " but I get no satisfaction or comfort out of it . I 'm glad that it happened naturally because I just don 't know if I would have been able to make the choice to put him down , even if it was what would have been best . Maybe if I 'd been there when he got bad ; if I saw that it could have been different . But as it is , I just don 't know . I think I would have been too selfish , I would have wanted to him to stay as long as possible . Cowboy was the best dog ever . I desperately miss him . Every time I see puppies I want one . I don 't want to replace him , or put off the grief . If you know me , you know I already cry plenty over EVERYTHING , and my best friend is no exception . But I desperately miss feeling like I have a dog of my own . We still have another dog , and I feel bad for maybe . . . not appreciating her as much as I could . But the difference between her and Cowboy ( besides the fact that I grew up with Cowboy ) is that I know Cowboy was all mine , specifically , because I begged and begged . I feel like I don 't have a buddy anymore . It 's just . . . different . It 's different than if he had just shown up . I know it 's not an easy thing to get over , and it never will be . But I just wish that somehow it could be . I don 't think I 'll ever not miss Cowboy . He was special , he was incredibly unique . He was protective but gentle , loving , smart , playful . I hate that he 's not here right now . But I don 't hate that he 's no longer in pain . And at least he knew I loved him . We 're down to two pets , now . Both outdoor ones . It would seem that the terrible 2008 had to rear it 's ugly head again . As I 'm sure I mentioned before , the beginning of my year was awful . First my Grandpa , then my best friend - my dog , and now our cat Murphy , who was a member of this family a few years before I was . She was 23 years old , and she held on as long as she could . Longer than I thought she 'd last , actually . And of course this would happen while Mom is out of town . I wish she could have been here because I feel like poor Murphy never really got to be comforted by her momma . She left us sometime early this morning , I think , because I didn 't go to bed until nearly 3 am . When I woke up at ten , there she was . In the living room , more or less where I left her when I went to bed . So what has my morning consisted of ? Begrudgingly waking up , hitting the bathroom , and finding the cat . Letting dad know and then standing outside while we dug a hole , and then distracting our dog while he buried her . I 'll even miss her incredibly loud , I - have - to - pause - my - DVD - because - I - can 't - hear - over - her meowing . And feeding her when mom goes out of town , and cleaning the stupid catbox . R . I . P . Murphy . Maybe now Cowboy will have a friend upstairs . Today has been one of those incredibly slow , equally uneventful days . Is this a bad thing ? Not necessarily . I haven 't had a bad day , per say , but has it been fabulous ? Hardly . I suppose you could call it a fair mix of good and bad . Let me explain . Bad : I initially woke up in a relatively unpleasant manner - the sound of a horn honking outside my window . I literally shot up and fumbled for my glasses ( if I haven 't mentioned it before , I 'm effectively blind without them ) in time to see a car slowing to honk - for the second time - at my dog , Kelsi , who took a moment to study the oncoming car before deciding to amble back up the driveway . After I calmed myself down , I went back to sleep . Good : It wasn 't too hard to fall asleep again , considering ( Bad : ) I was awake until nearly 5 trying to figure out how to get the header for this blog right . Which , incidentally , I didn 't get done until this afternoon . And I slept for another hour or so before waking up again . Bad : I felt rather ill . Good : I lounged in bed for nearly two hours , staring at the ceiling , reading , dozing . Which was definitely nice . Bad : I didn 't eat ' lunch ' until nearly 6 because I spent the majority of my day waiting for someone else to be hungry . The thing is , my mom was at work and my dad . . . he decided to sleep more today that I did . I think by the time he got up , I was leaving to get my food . Good : My food was good . : ) And finally , a double dose . Good / Bad : I got called in to work tomorrow night . Bad because I was looking forward to the day off , and , if my plans pan out , I 'll have to cut them short . Good because I haven 't worked at all this week so even the twenty or so bucks I 'll get from tomorrow night will be twenty bucks I didn 't have . And good because , even when I don 't feel like going to work , if I 've felt bored and unproductive that day going to work actually makes me feel like I 'm doing something with my life . Oh , and ( Good : ) my supervisor will be back at work next week . I missed her unique sense of humor . And that basically recaps my day . Watched TV , wFrom pencil to paper by
|
Home neighbour Important Business Comes Up Ch . 05 February 22 , 2014 | Author sexstory It has been a while since I last wrote and thanks for those who have sent comments . If you haven 't read chapters 1 - 4 yet - or it has been a while ! - it might be worth it before proceeding . Now that Dana has left the company and Jason has found a soul mate for his fetish in Alison , his secretary , life seems to be going very nicely . __________ After the stunning events of Alison throwing coffee in Dana 's lap , and the secretaries getting rid of her , office life had gone from strength to strength . My private life became private again and was now shared regularly with the delightful Alison as our friendship developed . I had dinner with Alison about once a week and we discussed the stresses of the office , and found ways to alleviate them . She was a most interesting and understanding partner in my secret . She was also refreshingly honest , " I don 't want a deep and meaningful relationship Jason , but I am more than happy to help you out with your fetish for as long as you want . I actually find it quite a turn on , " she explained one evening over a drink at her apartment . We were snuggled together on her couch and she was casually stroking my silk teddy covered chest . My nipples were a target for her attention and she was enjoying tweaking the firm titties that pushed against the fabric while we talked . Eventually she reached across and took my hand and placed it on her spread inner thigh so that it could wander to her aromatic pussy that sat above her stocking tops . I trailed my fingers along her thigh and felt the sensuous material of the lace tops and then the warm flesh of her thigh . Higher I went to the hot , moist flesh and slowly I dragged my fingers across her cunt lips . They were searing hot and slick and I easily slipped my middle two fingers into her open hole . We continued talking while Alison continued to pay attention to my chest and I lazily stroked two fingers deeply in and out of her . Not long went by before she was panting in short gasps and her hand had wandered down my torso to the tent in my French knickers . She slipped her hand up the leg of my knickers and grasped my hard cock and began stroking him . We were enjoying a mutual masturbation session that didn 't take long for us both to explode in orgasm . My knickers were soaked with my cum and her pussy grabbed at the fingers that were now plunging into her pubic bone . Eventually we I had been in my VP job for about six months now and had been looking for a new place to live now that I could afford something more than my apartment . I had found the best little complex of units that catered to young professionals . They had a couple of bedrooms and very nice living quarters with your own laundry and a small private courtyard garden and parking . I was happily ensconced in my new place and finding life pretty comfortable . My neighbours were friendly ; a married couple on one side and a couple of girls who shared the next - door unit on the other . We saw each other occasionally as the girls and I shared a carport . I was enjoying the relaxed freedom of my place during one beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon , just house cleaning and washing . Generally just bumming around the house in a pair of shorts , and my usual underwear . I had a small wash line on the patio so I was able to hang my freshly washed lingerie there where it wouldn 't be bleached in the sun , and perhaps be seen by nosey neighbours as had been the problem in the flats I had lived in when I first moved out of home . As I was hanging the undies a voice called out from a small gap in the hedge that peaked over the top of the fence to the girls ' place . " Hi Jason , is your girlfriend home ? " It was Lisa , the taller of the two girls . She was a 20 something brunette , slim and attractive with a dancer 's figure . Her friend , Penny , was a bit older and blonde , shorter and a bit fuller figured but also attractive . As I was pleasantly contemplating what I was doing , I didn 't catch the intent of the question and so responded , " No , I don 't have a girlfriend . " " Well that 's perfect . I was going to ask you to do me a favour . I was going to sunbake and need some sunscreen on my back and Penny has gone out . Would you mind , please ? " The lovely face above the fence that was framed by her beautiful long hair had my complete attention . So here she was , needing someone to put their hands on her lovely body . Gosh , how could I refuse ! ! " Sure , no problem , I 'll be right over . " I finished the last couple of items of hanging up and then went into the carport through my side gate and straight in the gate to next door . I wandered down the short path and came to the corner and spotted the most delightful scene . A large beach blanket was spread on the small patch of lawn that was surrounded by a slightly higher than fence - high hedge and the wine bottle was in a cooler next to the half empty glass . A cordless phone and a book lay casually tossed to one side and in the middle of the blanket was the back view of Lisa . She was lying with her long shapely legs toward me , face down and absolutely naked . I stopped in my tracks . She was gorgeous and immediately I felt a stirring in my shorts that I was sure was going to be a problem . She partially lifted her head and looked around at me , giving a vague glimpse at the side of her pert breast . " Hi . Thanks heaps . I hope you don 't mind . I always tan this way because I hate the tan lines . They show when I dance . " So I was right on that assumption anyway . " Sure , no problem , " I responded as I tried to casually walk over to her . I knelt down on the edge of the blanket beside her and she leaned over to get the lotion . Again the glimpse of small firm breast ! I allowed my gaze to stroll over her perfect shape . Beautiful shoulders , long arms , a narrowing waist to a set of trim hips and a pert bottom perched on top of the beautifully long slender legs ; gorgeous ! As she handed me the sunscreen I asked , " Where should I start ? " " At the top and work down , I haven 't got any cream on my back . " I wondered about the possible double meaning but said nothing . I decided I might as well enjoy the exercise and see what was going to develop here . At worst I could end up with a slapped face … but I didn 't think so somehow . She had laid back down with her head on her hands , her gorgeous profile in view . I spread the sunscreen onto my hand and rubbed them together and started to massage the cool lotion into the warm flesh of Lisa 's neck and shoulders . At my first touch she ' oohed ' a little and murmured , " That 's nice . " I continued , adding more lotion as needed , and stroking my hands across the sinews of her delicately muscular body . I moved gradually down her spine and across her ribs and slowly down her sides under her arms to spread the lotion and give her the briefest of brushes on the side of her breasts . She giggled a little , saying , " That tickles , naughty . " But she did not shy away . I reached her lower back and asked her , " Is that all ? " Without moving she quickly replied , " Uh Uh . No I said before I hadn 't put any on . You 'd better just do it all . " That was a pretty open invitation and I wasn 't going to ignore it ! I continued to spread the lotion and went down the outside of her legs until I reached her ankles and then moved up the inside of her legs to the bubble of her butt . I then spread the cream across the top of her backside . I continued to massage the cream into the cheeks of her bum and she slowly moaned her enjoyment of the massage . Very slowly I progressed , and with equal speed she started to move her legs apart . I had now reached the crack in her bum and her lower torso was moving rhythmically to my pressure . My thumbs moved evenly down into the crack and grazed the delightful brown dot that was now peeking at me from her spread thighs . The dark minimal fluff of her pussy was also barely visible below . Holding her butt cheeks in my hands , my thumbs stroked down her crack to her backdoor ; she very deliberately lifted her hips from the blanket to increase the pressure on her hole and she openly stated , " That feels great ! Ummm . " Spreading her cheeks more , I pushed and circled more conscientiously and her moans became more audible . It would not be much of a surprise to say that the tent in my shorts was enormous and the leakage was going to take another load of washing to remove ! Finally Lisa said what she had wanted all along ; " I guess you have put the cream everywhere where the sun does shine , what about where it doesn 't ? " She raised her hips even higher giving me a clear view of the extremely wet cunt lips and almost absent pussy hairs . As she lifted I increased the pressure of my right thumb and it popped into her anus with little resistance . " Oh Yes ! " was all she gasped . She started to push against the reaming digit and then she asked for more cream and more fingers ; " Stick them in me , quickly ! " I jammed my fingers into her butt and poured on more lubricant . I had two fingers fully pushing and stroking into her but she still muttered , " No , it 's not deep enough . I need something longer ! Fuck me ! " I didn 't need telling twice . I quickly moved behind her , her thighs making a triangle to her raised bum , and dropped my shorts and panties on the blanket . She had risen to her knees as I knelt behind her and aimed my swollen cock at her anus . A quick rub of its length with my lotion soaked hands guaranteed an easy entry and I slipped the bulb of my head straight into her arse hole ; it popped past any resistance easily . Slowly I eased my thickness into her depths , rocking in and out in a slow pushing pace finding it being easily accepted to the hilt - clearly she was not an anal virgin . Lisa cooed her pleasure and squeezed me tight with her inner muscles as she begged me to ram her hard and fast now that I was in her . " God you stretch me so beautifully ! Fill me with your come fast ! " I was powering into her from behind as hard as I could , well aware that I was not going to last very long . She thrust back with every forward motion and my balls were slapping against her soaking cunt . I grasped her hips to help create a pumping leverage as I withdrew to the edge of my cockhead before invading her again quickly and soon we were both grunting as our orgasms overtook us . She really loved it up the butt . Finally we fell forward onto the blanket with my quickly deflating cock still inside her where our fluids blended together . We lay motionless for what seemed a long time before either of us stirred . We cuddled in that spoon position for a while and then , with a wet plop , my wilted penis popped out of her butt and she giggled that irresistible giggle of hers again . " Oh I 'm leaking ! You know I set you up , don 't you , " she stated as we gathered the bits and pieces on the lawn and moved inside to have a shower . " I sort of guessed when you were naked on the lawn that you wanted more than a bit of sunscreen . " She chuckled and took me into the bathroom where we got into the shower together . " You are a really good anal lover . You certainly didn 't mind taking your time over getting me warmed up . " " So where does it need to go to qualify ? " she asked with a naughty grin as she started stroking him back to life under the cascading warm water . This was the stuff dreams are made of - a gorgeous dancer enticing me to make love to her . Within the next few minutes my cock was hard and deeply seated inside her cunt as she straddled me standing in the shower , her long legs encircling me . The warm water flowed over our rhythmically moving bodies as Lisa lifted herself up and pumped herself back down onto my deeply embedded cock , her vaginal muscles playing the piccolo along my shaft . This position didn 't take long to become tiring and we were soon rutting on the bathmat on the floor of the bathroom . That , of course , was where Penny , Lisa 's housemate , found us as she walked in . We didn 't hear her come in but she was standing , leaning against the doorway , when she said , " Having a nice time you two ? " The surprise was enough to make us both jump and for me to slip out of Lisa . " Well girl , you certainly seem to have found something to do while I was out , " Penny continued ; she was smiling as she stared at my throbbing cock and suggested , " You 'd better do something to finish him off before he explodes ! " With that she turned and wandered back into the unit . Lisa looked up at me from where she lay , giggled again and said , " Oops ! I guess we 've been caught . " I of course was rapidly wilting with the embarrassment of being found like that and I suggested that it would be best if I left . Lisa nodded and reached for the pile of clothes on the floor to pass me my shorts . As she grasped them from the pile she stopped to notice the fine lace and silky material of my undies - I was caught . " Well , " she smiled , " so that is who your ' friend ' is that you were just helping out with the washing . I think I 'd like to meet her one evening for a drink . Perhaps Pen would like to join us . " I wasn 't quite sure what to make of this last remark but the twinkle in Lisa 's eye and the deep sigh she let out certainly were encouraging signs for a future meeting with this gorgeous woman . I quickly got to my feet , slipped into my shorts and shoved the undies into my pocket and helped Lisa to her feet to leave . She made no attempt to cover up as we walked through the lounge and passed where Penny was relaxing on the couch . " Hope you had a good time , " Penny called as I left through the kitchen door . Lisa pushed her soft warm body into mine as she gave me a hug and a deep kiss . The push of her hips into my groin was enough to start something stirring again but then she pulled away and said , " Thanks for the massage and the company . I look forward to it again … soon ! " Her tone told me that she meant it , and then she pecked me on the cheek and pushed me toward the door . I walked back through the garden gate and into my yard , all the while pondering exactly what the conversation was that would be happening next door - and how much Lisa would share about what she had just learned . It wasn 't long before I found out the answer to my question . A couple of days later I met Penny in the carport as we both were leaving for work . " Hi Jason . How are you going ? " I smiled but didn 't get a chance to respond as she continued , " Lisa tells me that she was going to invite a friend of yours to join us for a drink . I believe she said Friday night would be good , about 7 : 30 ? " It seems that Lisa had wasted no time in talking about the afternoon delight and I was a little taken aback but managed to stammer a response along the lines of , " Yes , that sounds great . " Penny was almost into her car when she paused and added , " Please tell her we like to dress up for the evening , something a bit formal . Dressing up is often so much fun when you just do it for the fun , don 't you think ? " With that she was in the car and gone while I was still racing through my thoughts . At work there were several messages about accounts that I had picked up . Work generally was fantastic since Dana had gone . Some of the new accounts had come my way via Andrea and Sue and the party at their place . I decided that , after the invitation for Friday , I should use my freebie at Jacqui 's . To be all spruced up and pampered seemed just the right thing to do . From the office I phoned the number on the business card that I had in my wallet . The call was quickly answered with , " Welcome to Jacqui 's ; this is Laura speaking , how may I be of assistance ? " I asked to speak to Jacqui . She wasn 't available but the warm voice on the other end of the line asked could she be of assistance . " Well , as a matter of fact , you probably can help me , " I began . " Jacqui gave me her business card that offers a " Special " . I 'd like to book in for it please . " I guess I assumed that the term special was just another one of those business phrases in the advertising of their services but that impression changed immediately when Laura spoke . Her voice changed to a much more sultry tone and her comment , " It would be my pleasure , " certainly emphasized the ' my ' in the sentence . " When would you like to come in ? " Again the tone and emphasis was on the last couple of words only . " Wednesday afternoon would be great . Is that possible ? " " Oh no , on the contrary , " Laura explained . " You are on the Special , that means you get everything that suits you . What time would you like ? " " Absolutely , not a problem . I look forward to seeing then . Bye . " Again the tone told me I was in for an interesting afternoon . I cleared that afternoon with Alison and told her she could have the afternoon off too as I wouldn 't be back . I explained that I had decided to treat myself to the rejuvenation session . She smiled and whispered , " If half of what I have heard about Jacqui 's is true then you certainly are in for an experience . It is supposed to be the most exclusive and chic relaxation clinic that pampers to the rich and famous . You will have to tell me all about it afterward ! " She was obviously a bit envious and yet she also knew I would tell her everything when we next spent the evening together . We were due to catch up on the following Monday - just us two girls getting together . The next afternoon I left the office at about 3 : 30 and drove to Jacqui 's . It was a little bit secluded on the outskirts of town and the entrance was shrouded by an ivy - covered set of wrought iron gates . They led down a long driveway to what looked to be an old English mansion . There were no cars to be seen , only a driveway that looped past the front steps . As I stopped my car a lovely slim girl of about twenty walked down the steps . She wore a rather elegant maroon low - cut dress that was split at the thigh to reveal a pair of rather delightfully long legs in heels as she strode toward my car and opened my door for me . " Jason ? " she asked and , in response to my nod , she continued , " I am your valet parking attendant . Please leave the keys and go in ; you will be met by Laura in the foyer . " I got out of the car and she took my place in the driver 's seat , again showing a great deal of long slim leg . She flashed me a smile and then started the car and drove it around the driveway to the rear of the building . I watched her go and then turned to the front doors and climbed the steps . Once at the open front door I stepped into a wide , open foyer with a gleaming parquetry floor and artwork around the walls . A wide sweeping staircase rose on my left to the upper storey and directly in front of me was a hotel style desk . Behind the desk stood an elegant woman of about my age . She too was wearing the uniform dress and smile that I had seen on the valet attendant . As I approached she spoke and moved around the desk to meet me , " Hello Jason . I am Laura and I will conduct you through your visit with us this afternoon . Would you care for a drink … some wine perhaps ? " A few seconds later , as if from nowhere , another young girl arrived with a tray carrying a champagne flute filled with crispy cold bubbly . Again the uniform , legs and heels ; Jacqui obviously didn 't employ unattractive staff ! I took the glass and thanked her and then Laura said , " Please come this way and we will get you started on your visit . " As we walked down the foyer to a hallway she continued , " We have a full range of facilities here and all are at your disposal . There is a steam room and sauna , a masseuse , a manicurist / pedicurist , facial and skin therapist . We recommend that you start with a relaxing hot tub bath first . Does that sound okay ? " The last was offered with a slight tilt of the head and a smile that certainly encouraged a positive response and so , naturally I agreed . I continued sipping my champers as we arrived at a door about half way down the hall . Laura opened the door and ushered me in . Inside was basically a huge bathroom and the centrepiece was a semi - sunken hot tub of about ten feet diameter , a gentle layer of steam swirling across the surface . The sun spread a warm glow through the diffused glass of the window and the sparse furnishings whispered luxury to me . Laura turned to me and said , " Please allow me to help you with your bath , " and she reached out to take my half empty glass and placed it beside the lightly steaming tub . She immediately returned and commenced taking off my jacket , which she placed on a hanger and turned to put it in a closet to one side . This beautiful lady was undressing me and I was going to be given a bath . The thought was most appealing and the wine was already making the lightness of the atmosphere very relaxing . Laura 's slim and dextrous fingers coated in red nail polish , a match for her lipstick , efficiently plucked at buttons and zips . Again , strangely , there seemed to be little that was overtly sexual about this lovely lady or what she was doing in eventually making me naked and showing me to the bath steps . She didn 't seem to even raise an eyebrow as she removed my French knickers and I wondered how much Jacqui had told her staff . Once I was in the water and sipping the last of my wine , I was able to watch as she slipped her dress off her shoulders and allowed it to drop to the floor with her heels . She was naked and as she walked to the bath I could see the firm but gentle bounce of her full breasts and the ripple of trim stomach muscles as she moved . Her hips swayed gently and her thighs met at a tiny neat triangle of fluffy hair that rose above her vagina . She stepped down into the water and a quick glimpse of her pink puffy pussy lips was all I could see before they disappeared into the water that I was sitting in . She moved across the bath to join me and without a word commenced to bathe me with a soft cloth she retrievedThe long sensuous strokes over my neck and shoulders gradually moved lower to my chest where she took her time and then she shifted to sit beside me so that she could wash my back . There was not a word exchanged , just the gentle push or pull of my body to allow her access to the next area she was to wash . Eventually she asked me to stand in the water as she reached my lower torso and the cloth drifted to my crotch and up my thighs . My semi - erect penis twitched lightly as she brushed the cloth along my legs , the back of her hand brushing lightly against my shaft and balls but this was not a sexual activity despite my desire for her beautiful nakedness , her breasts seemingly floating as she knelt , her nipples standing firm . It seemed like something from a Japanese geisha story . She was simply taking care of my needs and naked was the convenient way to do this . Once she had washed me all over she dropped the cloth onto the side of the bath and gently reached across me and took my hand . Standing with me in the bath she led me to the steps and I climbed out and stood on the mat while she ever so gently dried me with a soft towel . Her movements were the picture of elegance and her breasts swayed with her , and her nipples stood proudly in the cooler air of the room showing her arousal despite her silence . At last she spoke as she was drying my lower half and gently draping the towel across my groin to caress and stroke my swelling manhood . " Jacqui is quite insistent that we give every service available to the guests who receive her special offers . " Her hand continued to stroke my now rapidly swelling cock . " Is there anything I can do for you before you continue with your visit ? " And as she said it her hand grasped me through the towel . My facial expression was enough of an answer and Laura obviously had a preference anyway as she dropped the towel and continued to stroke me long and slowly . Her other hand drifted to my balls where they received a firm squeeze as she slowly sank to her knees on the mat in the humid atmosphere of the hot tub room . Nothing in the room was as hot as the mouth that engulfed the head of my penis and sank down the shaft to push back the foreskin . The fondling of my balls became more intense and three things became obvious to me : Laura really loved her work ; she was extremely good at her job and I was going to last about ten seconds of this . It was perhaps a little more but , as my seed rocketed from my now firmly crushed balls and into her bobbing mouth , my knees went weak from the experience . Gradually the pressure on my balls eased and the rhythm of her mouth moving up and down my shaft slowed to a crawl . Her eyes sparkled as she smiled up at me and licked the last drops from the head of my now wilting cock , gave him a little nibble on the exposed pink tip and then licked her lips as she stood up . She brought the wet cloth and towel up with her and gave ' him ' a gentle wash and dry before ushering me to the closet where she found a long white dressing gown for me to wear . " What would you care for next Jason ? How about the manicure and pedicure , followed by a massage , so that you can lie back and relax for a while ? " This seemed a great idea as my wobbly knees were still struggling to cope with me standing up . She slipped back into her dress and then linked arms with me and led me to the door . Back in the cool air of the corridor , the sudden change of temperature made me feel quite light headed . We strolled along for a few doors and then came to a room . Laura pushed open the door and we entered . It was similarly styled to the bathroom but wood panelled and softly lit and in the centre was a very comfy looking chair , a bit like a dentist 's chair but without the scary overtones of pain . To one side there was a desk and behind it sat two young women - twins . Not too surprisingly they were gorgeous with flaming red hair and what seemed to be magnificent figures . This was proven as they stood and came to where we were standing . Laura introduced me to Tiffany and Emma . They both smiled and took me from Laura who , after finding me another glass of champagne , left us without a word . A few sips was all I could take before these lovely ladies guided me to the chair and then one of them , Tiffany or Emma - I 'm not sure which , asked me to take a seat and make myself comfortable . I reclined in the chair and in a matter of moments the girls had wheeled over a small table each and seated themselves on stools , one at my hip and the other at my feet . The chair was then adjusted under me so that I was lying almost flat , my head slightly raised on the headrest , and at about knee height that seemed to be convenient for their work . The gentle caresses then started . Simultaneously one hand and the opposite foot were gently massaged and examined , while soothing lotion was rubbed in . Each finger and toe gently pushed , pulled and stroked . I had never had an experience quite like it . It was incredibly relaxing and yet stimulating at the same time . As I watched through half - closed eyes the two girls worked intently at their tasks on opposite sides of my body . My right hand was then gently laid in the lap of the lovely Tiffany on my right while my left foot was lightly dragged off the edge of the chair and onto the knee of her twin , Emma . At last I had noticed the monogrammed initial on each of their dresses , high above their firm breasts . Steadily they worked away caressing and massaging some type of cream into my skin and attending to my nails . It took me some while to realise that , lying as I was , my crotch was quite exposed to the view Emma had from my feet . I became both aroused and a little embarrassed at the thought and so I started to reach with my free hand to cover myself with the dressing gown I was wearing . As I moved Emma noticed and leaned forward a little , brushing the ball of my foot against her breasts and at the same time asked , " Are you a little warm in that gown ? We do want you to relax . Would you be more comfortable without it ? " Before I could respond either way Tiffany reached across and untied the towelling belt that held it together across my abdomen and gently pulled the gown apart to expose my naked body to these two flaming redheads , though the flame was in their eyes now as well . The gentle caress of my foot on Emma 's breasts hadn 't stopped and the slowly growing erection in my lap was the result . Having just recently enjoyed Laura 's attention , I doubted anything could possibly come of this despite how wonderful the sensations were . As Tiffany went back to work on my hand she dragged it closer to her crotch and seemed to lean back in such a way that I could feel the heat of her body . I was enjoying the attention but that is where it seemed to stop . They both continued their work as if nothing had changed and I think that was the most titillating aspect of the whole scenario . After some while they both seemed to finish the job and moved in synchronous to the other side . The occasional glances at my semi - erect cock were enough to keep it there but now things did change a little . As Emma rolled her chair across to my right side I was treated to the view of her . She straddled her stool in a way that managed to seem elegant yet exposed her glorious red thatch of pussy hair to my open gaze . Her dress had gathered much higher on her thigh to provide this view and there was no attempt to change the situation . She gently guided my other foot to her breasts and rested it there as she started work . Tiffany rolled around the chair to my left and took my hand and placed it on her thigh . This time , however , I felt no material between my skin and hers and , tearing my eyes from the glorious pussy of Emma , I looked straight into the pussy lips of Tiffany 's shaven crotch . My erection grew significantly in I don 't believe quite the same amount of time was spent on this part of the treatment but perhaps that was just how time passes when you 're having fun . Again , with amazing timing , the two girls stopped the massaging and trimming of my nails and commenced to apply a clear nail varnish to my hand and toe nails . This was remarkably quick and quite a distraction after the caressing and fondling I had been receiving . Once all ten of each set of digits had been coated Tiffany explained , " You will have to remain very still for about ten minutes to allow the hardener to dry properly . Is there anything that you would like while you are waiting ? " My cock was still gently waving in the breeze and her tone made little attempt to suggest that anything else was worth asking for . The two girls stood up and allowed their dresses to fall to the floor . They stood there for a few seconds to allow me to fully appreciate the beauty of their bodies and then they approached , caressing my body gently . Emma reminded me , " Don 't move . You don 't want to spoil the nail polish . We will see what we can do for you . Jacqui does have a rule about us getting intimate with her special clients . " Tiffany climbed onto the chair and straddled my stomach and I could see the wetness of her pussy . She rubbed herself against my stomach and eased back a little to allow my cock to brush her backside . She brushed her hands over my nipples and immediately they were hard . Emma was caressing my legs and getting ever closer to my balls that were tightening in anticipation . Tiffany gradually crept forward until she was across my chest and she was rubbing my nipple into her pussy . " You have lovely boobies , " she murmured down at me . " Is that what Jacqui liked about you ? " The surprise was in my eyes at the mention of Jacqui who it seemed had not told them all everything about me . " Yes , we do know about her little adventures and so we tend to enjoy the ' Specials ' she gives out . We aren 't really meant to know but so far no one has complaIt was with that comment that I could see why . She stood up on the reclined seat , her feet either side of my chest , and then she casually stepped down off the seat , stepping over my arms and down either side of my head . She was straddling my chest and neck and I was now peering into the eye of her pussy lips only inches from my face . She shuffled forward and planted the puffy and juicy cunt lips I 'd had oozing on my nipple right over my mouth . As this happened an incredibly hot wetness oozed across my sole as my foot was grasped by Emma and pressed into her pussy . The two girls then went into a rhythmic rocking that allowed them to time their gyrations so that Emma , holding my ankle firmly , plunged her crotch up and down against my foot while Tiffany 's clit slipped in and out of my mouth and grazed against my nose . Tiffany 's juice soaked cunt was grinding itself further onto my tongue . Not surprisingly I was fully aroused and my cock begged for attention . As Emma came against my foot , Tiffany lifted up from my mouth and squirted her simultaneous orgasm over my face . These twins were truly in synch ! As they subsided , they both stood up and moved to my side . I had the glorious view of Emma and Tiffany red - faced from their exertion . Apologetically they looked from my face to my now rampant cock before Emma said , " We are sorry to not be able to help you with that but it is Jacqui 's rule . " Quickly they gathered a couple of cloths to clean up their juices from my face and foot before slipping on their dresses and covering my manhood with my gown . This lasted a couple of minutes by which time I had wilted a little . Tiffany took some delight in licking her lips while watching the tent my cock made as I stood up ; it flexed briefly before settling down again . " Thank you for letting us be of service . We 'd love to do this again for you sometime . " " Well perhaps we can arrange for you to do some freelance manicure work for a friend of mine ? " I hoped my tone indicated that I would be booking their time under a female name - I was sure that my alter - ego Jessie would make the booking for me . I was curious to wonder if their female customers were as well treated by Tiffany and Emma as I had been . They got the hint and as they finished drying me off Emma said , " We look forward to meeting your friend ! " As we got to the door to leave they both pecked me on the cheek . " Where to next ? A sauna perhaps ? " Tiffany queried . It seemed a good idea and so I nodded and she looped her arm into mine and escorted me to the door . Emma smiled and said , " See you later we hope . " There was almost a challenge in her voice but it was certainly a friendly challenge . Tiffany took me into the hall and we walked a couple of doors down until we reached a sign stating ' Steam Room and Sauna ' . Here she left me saying she was sure I 'd be fine to spend some time in here and that the masseuse was just next - door . She gave a last dazzling smile and turned and left me . I entered the room and it was as luxurious as everything else had been so far . The room was huge with several cubicle style rooms inside . There was soft music playing from some hidden speakers and the aroma of flowers softened the feel of the room . The steam room and sauna had doors leading into each . They were both about the same size ; a few yards square and there was an en suite in another corner . I sipped my wine and then went to the bench near the door to put it down and leave my gown on the hook . I grabbed a towel from the pile on the end of the bench and wandered into the sauna . I sat and tried to acclimatise to the stifling dry heat and soon I was comfortably relaxed on the bench . The heat eased its way into my body and I could almost feel my pores opening to allow the sweat to drip from me . The heat delved into my muscles and I could feel them releasing their tension and the relaxation was a delight . My reverie was broken as I heard the door to the main room close and a voice call , " Jason , where are you ? " I hadn 't heard the voice in a long while but I recognised Jacqui 's tone immediately . I got up and wrapped the towel around my waist and went out into the main room . " Hi Jacqui , I 'm here . " She sauntered across to where I was standing , carrying my drink . " Here , " she offered , and as I took the drink she added , " I thought I 'd join you for a steam bath . Do you mind ? " I was not sure that my objection would have made much difference as she was already heading toward the steam room door and her dress was slipping from her shoulders . She stopped at the door and turned , naked , toward me and said , " Well are you coming ? " The double entendre was clearly emphasized and I walked across to join her . She took my glass and sipped the last drop of wine and said , " You won 't need anything else to drink , or this . " And she tugged at the edge of my towel and it spilled to the floor . We went into the steam room and the cloud of steam masked my vision momentarily , then I could see she had sat herself in the middle of the wooden slatted bench and beckoned me nearer . I stopped in front of her and she said , " I think we should pick up where we left off , " and then she splayed her legs to reveal the delightful view of her earring pierced cunt lips . I was an automaton as I went down on bended knees to suckle and play with her jewellery . She sighed and then pushed me back slightly so that she could grasp the rings in either hand and pull her distended labia apart to allow me further access . " Drill me with your tongue and , if it is good enough , there will be a rather special treat for you . My girls know I have a ' hands off ' policy with the customers but I also know they have trouble following that rule . I am forgiving as long as you can still come when you get to me . My masseuse does not have the same restriction and she will offer you some rather unusual pleasure . " I didn 't need the encouragement but it was very intriguing . Jacqui obviously was aware that her girls weren 't abiding by the letter of that policy as I had now had sexual contact with everyone I 'd met since the visit started but I still had a very sizeable desire after the blue - ball creating twins had finished with me . I burrowed fu " I want you to fuck me between the tits and yank on my rings ! " She slid to one side and lay on the bench , pulling me toward and over her body . She nestled my cock between her mounds and squeezed them up to envelop my cock . I started to stroke back and forth and I gripped the rings in her nipples firmly between my fingers and tugged on them to lift her tits higher and create a deeper cleavage to fuck . Her joyous moans told me she loved the pleasure of this pain . After pulling on them several times I was able to see the engorged nipples straining against the gold rings . Jacqui groaned loudly as I thrust in and out . I looped my index finger through the right ring and then dragged the left over to loop it onto the same finger . I had created a closed valley to stroke my cock into and the nipples were stretched to only half an inch apart . This set off a screaming tirade from Jacqui . " Oh my God that feels wonderful ! Fuck me harder ; tear my nipples off . I want that pain . " I was slamming into the bottom of her tits that quivered jelly - like and shoving my cock into her chin as she watched it enter and exit her cleavage . She somehow managed to sneak her hand around under me and grasped my balls that were already about to explode . She gave them the most incredible squeeze I have ever felt . I went cold and almost passed out from the pain but at the same time I exploded come all over her tits and face as I continued to thrust in and out . I was still pulling on her nipples without even realising it and she was screaming in orgasm at the same time . I fell against the wall in utter exhaustion and somewhere along the line I let loose the rings on my finger . Jacqui was not quite done yet . Breathing in heavy gasps she said , " Now clean up the mess you left ! " The demand was clear and the intent was too . She wanted me to know who was boss , even after giving her an orgasm like that one . She sat up as soon as I got off her torso and through the mist of the steam she gestured to her tits , neck , chin and mouth and said , " WellI went into the en suite and ran a cool , refreshing shower . I stepped inside and relaxed under the pressure of the water . It had been an amazing day so far and Jacqui 's parting comment suggested it was not yet over . I enjoyed the warmth of the water and soaked up the luxury of the surroundings . The tapping on the door broke my reverie . It slowly opened and standing in the doorway was a very tall and athletically built woman with a deep suntan and dark hair . She wore the same uniform as all the others but there was something more defined about her features that yelled strength . She walked in and took a towel from the rail and gestured for me to step out of the shower . In her heels , she towered over me . I was no longer surprised that there was no feeling of guilt in my mind as I stepped naked from the recess and stood in front of another total stranger . She hadn 't said a word but there was a definite understanding about what was happening . She stepped closer and I noticed the poise of her movement and I glanced at her firm full breasts where the name badge read " Amber " . She started to dry me , commencing with my chest and shoulders , then down my body . It was an asexual encounter but there was a distinct control about her motions and the pressure of her hands rubbing me dry showed the strength I had assumed from her stature . Once she had bent down and dried my groin and legs she walked around me to dry my back . Still not a word had been spoken . Finally she finished and she reached for my gown and assisted me with putting it on . She linked arms with me and we moved , at her insistence , toward the door . " I am not surprised , what with all fun you have had with the girls today ! " I was rather stunned by the comment . " Oh relax , it 's alright . Jacqui and I have an understanding and she tells me about her ' Specials ' in exchange for a little ' special ' I do for her . I find out about the new visitors and sometimes I like to share with the other girls . Jacqui knows , and she doesn 't mind as long as her own needs are met and , from what I heard coming from the steam room , she should sleep well tonight ! I occasionally make sure I keep on the other girls ' good side by giving them a hint about our customers ' special needs or desires . " My mouth must have fallen open in the shock of this revelation that they all knew about me before I had even arrived . " Relax Jason , your secret is safe . In fact I suspect you will gain a few long - term benefits based on how , shall we say ' responsive ' you have been today . I know the twins were impressed ! " she said with a twinkle in her eye . All this time we had been strolling from the steam room to another room next door . She opened it and led me in to another beautifully spacious area with a massage table as its central feature . At a quick glance I could see the orderly arrangement of the room , an open cabinet with an array of unusually shaped and coloured bottles . The aromatic candles gave off a soothing scent . The dim light of the evening made little impression through the stained glass window that featured some unusual patterns . She closed the door and turned to face me again . " Here we reach the end of today 's visit with a relaxing massage . " The emphasis was more on the word massage than relaxing . Again , as if I was almost not there , Amber reached forward and took the sash from the gown allowing it to fall open and expose my nakedness to her view . This time she did take a long look up and down my body and it was such an incredibly sensual moment even without any sexual contact . She eased the gown off my shoulders and to the floor and then gently steered me toward the table . It was covered in a soft towelling sheet . I eased my backside onto the table and she began . " Lay on your back with your feet straight and arms at your sides . This is where you let me do all the work . Just follow my instructions as we go and you will have a wonderful experience . " I did as I had been told and lay back . I was naked and totally in the hands of this strong willed and bodied woman . The strength was noticeable immediately that she started to caress my temples . She had moved to the head of the table and leaned over me to commence the massage with my scalp and temples . Her fingers were strong but gentle as they stroAs she stroked she started to talk in a soft and sultry voice . " So I believe you enjoy the sensations of softness against your skin Jason ? " It took a second for me to realise she wasn 't referring to her fingers but my first encounter with Jacqui . I murmured an agreement , not knowing where this was leading exactly but fairly confident that it would be sexual . Her hands continued to drag the sinews of muscle from across my cheeks and under the eyes . " Have you been interested in dressing that way for very long ? " It was a much more direct question but with her fingers stroking around my mouth and chin I wasn 't sure that I was supposed to say much , so another murmur of agreement left my lips . The caressing fingers reached and tugged on my earlobes in an incredibly sensual manner . " It must be wonderful to be confident and relaxed like that as well as an amazing turn on ! " The voice was becoming husky and I looked up into her upside - down face as she leaned forward over me . Her breasts swayed gently inches above my head as she continued her massage of my chin and neck . She moved around to stand by my shoulder and from a blue flask she poured some oil into her hand and then rubbed the two together before reaching across me to stroke my neck and shoulders . The aroma was devastating ! It could easily have been from any exotic port in the world and it was an attack of the nicest kind on the senses . Amber slowly moved her slickened hands across my shoulders to my chest , caressing my small breasts , and then she allowed her palms to brush across my nipples . They sprang to attention and the areolae leapt from my chest at her touch . I could feel every sensation of her movement . The dark surrounds of my nipples were protruding more than I had ever seen or felt before and they were sending a message in Braille that approved of the contact ; Amber continued her caressing ; " Jacqui said you had cute tits and boy are they sensitive ! " The comment , added to the oils , made my cock spring to attention and I gasped at the s " This ? Oh this is my secret recipe that I only use when I really want to get a cock hard and keep it that way for a long time ! It is made from a mixture of some herbs from Africa and my own cunt juice . You can taste me later . " As she said the words the nipples were pinched in a vice grip and pulled and I gasped in pain and arousal . Her tone was casual but sexy and my cock was a steel post jumping away from my body and flexing with my pulse , upright against my stomach . I had never been so turned on in my life but there was obviously not going to be any early release . " Jacqui said you eat pussy very well but I prefer to be my own judge . So what is your favourite outfit when you cross - dress ? Give me the details . " I would not be escaping from the control of this woman for some time and , quite frankly , I didn 't want to . I tried to think over my wardrobe while her hands continued down my torso after torturing my nipples and caressing my breasts . The image came to mind of what I intended to wear to Penny and Lisa 's on Friday night . It was something I had thought through quite carefully not long after receiving Penny 's invitation . In a rather wispy voice , the best I could muster under the circumstances of Amber 's lowering caresses and nearing my erection , I began . " Well I have already decided the outfit for the evening . I shall wear a sky - blue silk basque with matching lace panties . The stockings are very sheer black with seams and a butterfly motif embroidered into them on the calf . I have a cream silk blouse and a mid length skirt split to the thigh . I have to wear the two - inch black high heels as they are all I have apart from casual shoes at the moment . " Amber 's hands had moved to my groin and were tugging on my trimmed pubic hair . " I must see you in that some time although I think the ladies would be more impressed with a dress … something that would expose a little cleavage . What 's the point of a basque if it doesn 't show off your tits and figure ? " It was at that moment that one hand captured my scrotum and the other claimed a grip on my cock and stroked more of the oil into me . She didn 't even hesitate in her commentary , " Besides I doubt two horny women will want you dressed in anything other than the underthings you wear for the evening . They are going to play with you for sure ! " The image she had painted for me of Penny and Lisa and me in my finery was enough to send me over the edge . I came . The first blast flew into the air as Amber wanked my rock hard cock in her tight grip and it was followed by several others . The oils had created a gentle burning sensation in my balls and it seemed to intensify as I blew my load . I had cramps in my stomach from the intensity . She stroked me a few more times and my eyes came back into focus in time to see her release my cock and lift her hand to her mouth to lick the cum from where it had dribbled . She lapped at the sperm while she gazed straight into my eyes . " Your turn soon ! " she murmured . It was incredible to watch and then I noticed that , despite an explosive orgasm , I hadn 't wilted . In fact it was as hard as before . Amber saw my expression , " Ah yes , the oil does that rather well . You 'll be hard for a while yet don 't worry . Now turn over so I can do your back . " I obeyed and rolled over . It was very uncomfortable at first trying to find a place for my rigid cock to sit without impaling myself . Quickly Amber 's hands were back on my neck and more oil was poured onto my shoulders and spread immediately . It was a warm sensation that filled the room again with her aroma . " Rest your head on your hands and relax , " she told me . She slipped her hands around my shoulders and under my arms where she gently caressed the side of my breasts . I felt my cock flex at the touch and I tried to ease the pressure of my body weight pushing it into the massage table . I raised my hips slightly and instantly felt a stinging smack on my arse cheek , " Don 't move until you are told ! " The ache soon disappeared and became a tingling throbbing in my groin . She went back to playing under my raised arms and soon her oil slick hands easily slid under my body to caress my nipples again only this time her breasts were now firmly pushed into my back . The warmth of her body oozed through me . " They feel very aroused , " she whispered in my ear as she tugged firmly on both of my tits , clamping the whole nipple and surrounding flesh in a strong grip . As she did this she straddled my back and the warmth of her cunt centred itself on my spine . The juice and soft fuzz of hair told me she was naked though when she achieved this feat I had no idea . Her hands stayed clamped to my tits and she ground her cunt into me as she moved back and forth riding my back . Soon she was nibbling and biting my ear and neck and she was laying full length on top of me , grinding me into the bench . My cock was drilling a hole in the bench beneath us both and I strained again to release the pressure by lifting my hips . A sharp nip on the neck told me not to move and she continued to slither down my body , still not releasing the now tender flesh of my breasts . She used her feet to push mine apart and she eased back to kneel between my legs . My nipples were released and the hands slid around my side to the small of my back . Her firm hands stripped the muscles of my back and pulled along the spine until they reached the top of my bum cheeks . There was a brief moment of stillness , as if she had disappeared , then the hands were back with a fresh supply of oil on them . They commenced to massage my cheeks , starting at the top and firmly stripping through the muscle to my thighs and then returning to the top . I recognised this as what I had done to Lisa only days before . It was about now that I noticed the stained glass windows that I had seen when I came into the room . I remember that they seemed to be strange images . From my current position I could see why . The window was fitted sideways so that it could only be seen properly from a lying down angle . There before my eyes was a series of images of cocks in various stages of entry to a trim arse . Amber 's firm hands eased their way across my cheeks with her thumbs tracing my spine . Her palms pushed aside the cheeks and the thumbs grazed their way across my puckered back door just as I had to Lisa - I knew what was coming and I was excited at the thought . The oil had that instant tingling feeling and I gave an involuntary jump . She pushed me down and returned her hands to the top of my bum for the motion to recommence . This time the thumbs slowed down at my anal ring and stroked around it while my cheeks were pulled apart in Amber 's hands . On the third occasion one thumb stroked the sphincter while the other nudged against it and pushed its way inside me . It probably only went in to fingernail depth but the sensation was delightful . The oil heightened every sensation in every nerve ending . I felt my puckered ring nibbling at the invading digit and found myself raising my hips and instinctively pushing back to take more . " So we enjoy this do we ? " was Amber 's chuckling comment as she went through the exercise a fourth and final time . " How does this feel then ? " and as her thumb arrived at my chute she slowly slipped her thumb straight in to the hilt . I let out a grunt of amazed pleasure as my sphincter muscle briefly held against the invasion before accepting its destiny . My body was in the air now and I was head down on the bench . I arched my back and pushed against the thumb . Her fingers still maintained the steady pressure on spreading my cheeks . The thumb was rotating inside me as Amber withdrew it slowly and thrust it back in . Very soon we had a rhythm going of her plunging into me while I shoved back just like Dana 's strap - on dildo had penetrated me deeply months before . The sensation was extraordinary and stinging , tingling warmth had replaced the initial surprise . " My ! My ! You are a bum boy after all ! Seems you are enjoying this a great deal . Ready for something a little larger ? " My groan of pleasure was enough for her to act and the thumb that was buried slipped out of my very well oiled anus to make way for something else . I had no idea what to expect . For a few moments there seemed to be no movement and then the trickle of oil down my crack lit up my senses . As it ran down into my open cavity the warmth grew . It ran passed my hole onto that tender skin between the anus and the balls . As it flowed onto my balls they sprang to life and I gasped at the pleasure of this amazing fluid . A solitary fingernail started to gently graze that sensitive perineum and Amber said , " Hold yourself open for me . I need both hands because you are going to explode in come very soon . " Posted in neighbour | Tags : anal , breasts , control , crossdressing , neighbour , nipples , panties , stockings , submissive | No Comments » Torid Affair With Neighbour March 28 , 2013 | Author sexstory Having graduated with a top degree in physiotherapy , I further boosted my status with a masters in sports injuries . With such a good qualification as well as the charisma to boot , I got a job in the city , working privately to build up my finances . By the age of 27 my reputation and experience meant I was earning £ 45 000 a year . However , as the usual stereotype will say , money and success isn 't everything . Something was missing and so I decided to pack up and make a new start . First things first , I left the city heading for a nice rural area , buying a 4 bedroom lucrative home . Apparently it was owned by a young professional footballer before being sold by his club . The house had all the usual high quality features , from a spacious kitchen to a decked garden , however my favourite part of my new home was the hot - tub in the converted loft . Despite being a dream home for me , the country road it was situated on was not all high - priced property . Again , it seemed like a nice balance of people all with different backgrounds . The second part of my move , and obviously a very important aspect was continuing my career . I was extremely lucky in securing an adequately sized property to host my private practise . For this rural greenbelt town , a private physiotherapy clinic with state of the art equipment sounds bizarre , but again , because of my reputation and the calibre of my patients attending , word soon spread of my arrival . So going back to moving in , because the move was a fresh start for me , I did not know many people , which meant I was able to settle my stuff in and arrange my home how I wanted it . I became familiar with the area , and a few of my neighbours . I gathered that to one side of me lived a friendly old couple who had been there for 40 years . To the other lived a younger couple , - Bob and Claire , and their two youngI was shocked merely at his lack of compassion for a helpless lady . My shock was shared by Claire 's , but from their conversation it was clear just how serious there lack of money was . I tried to forget this , however , the following day I was driving home from work when I saw a marked police car parked up outside . A policeman got out of the car and knocked on the neighbours door . " Mr Richards ? " the policeman began showing his badge as Bob opened the door , looking guilty as anything . I thought quickly and approached the two of them . " No problem , here 's my card , my practise is just across the road from the police station I think . " I concluded before the policeman left . Bob and I waited for the sound of the officers car driving off , before we spoke . " Don 't worry , I haven 't eaten since breakfast so I need to dash , we 'll speak another time . " I responded as I walked over my front garden and opened the door . I had a work out in my home gym before taking a shower . I then had my tea and decided to sit on the decking in the garden as it was a really nice warm evening . Midway through my tea , Claire popped her head over the fence and asked if she could have a chat . I opened the side gate , and offered her a drink . She declined , and sat opposite me . It was only now that I began to notice that Claire was quite attractive . She had light brown hair tied up in a pony tail . She had a nice face , green eyes and a nice smile . Further south I noticed , without staring , she seemed to have quite nicely rounded breasts with a relatively smooth stomach . Considering Claire was a mother of two she had a great figure with nicely rounded hips . Essentially she had a healthy curvaceous figure . Anyway , I snapped back to reality as she began to speak . " I just want to thank you for earlier , Bob told me what happened . I don 't think there is anything you don 't have , for us to offer , but we are truly grateful , and would at least like for you to come over for dinner one night this week ? … That is obviously if you are not busy ? " Claire said . " Don 't worry , lets forget about earlier , dinner sounds lovely , I haven 't met too many people in the neighbourhood so would be nice to get out for a change . " I responded . " That 's brilliant ! Come over tomorrow ! " She concluded as she got up and left with a smile . The following evening , I called over there around seven . We must have got our times mixed up because Claire opened the door wearing just a towel , having just jumped out the shower . I was shocked and apologised , but she assured me it was ok and invited me in . I took a seat in the living room where her children were playing , whilst Claire scampered up the stairs to get dressed . A short time passed and Claire came in , now dressed in a thin summer dress going down to her mid thigh , as well as a cooking apron , which again , hugged her sexy figure . Bob then arrived home from work , and we made small talk . Dinner went down well , Claire was obviously a good cook , and it was nice to have some company for a change . The kids had gone to bed , and the three of us continued to talk . By 10 o clock Bob yawned and I decided it was time to leave . We exchanged our goodbyes , Bob with a handshake and Claire with a peck of the cheek . She just smiled at me and I left , trying to keep her womanly smell in my system . The next few days passed uneventfully and until the weekend . The summer weather continued and I decided to mow the lawn with the new mower I had brought . Without thinking I took off my t - shirt as the heat was getting to me . I continued the lawn before setting the engine to rest . It was only then that I looked up and noticed Claire by the fence . She looked gorgeous and was obviously also feeling the weather as she only had on a bikini . It was only now that I really " Fancy doing our lawn as well ? " She asked jokingly . " Don 't be silly , it 's no trouble at all , it looks like it could use a cut " I assured her , as I entered her garden , still topless as I brushed past her to get through the gate . I started mowing and within 15 minutes I was finished . The lawn looked ten times better , and Claire thanked me with a hug . Our bodies pressed up against each other , before she pulled away and handed me a cold glass of juice . We chatted for a bit and she complained that she was often was bored of just looking after her house . I said she was welcome to use my home gym if she wanted , and after assuring her it would be fine , I gave her a spare key to the back door and said she should use it when she liked . She asked if she could do so now , and I accepted , adding that I would also do my work out for the day . I packed the mower away and showed her to the gym room . She was amazed at it , and started on the tredmill . We both did our work outs , still with me topless , and her in a bikini and shorts . I noticed she was looking at me throughout , and when I reached the bicep curls , she commented on how toned I was . I smiled and said she also had a great body , to which her smile grew ever larger . We both finished our workouts around the same time . " Are you serious ? You have a hot - tub ? That would be amazing , I think I should shower off quickly though , I 'm a little sweaty " she said with a grij . " I also could do with a rinse before the hot - tub " . I showed her the shower and said I would wait outside . " Don 't worry , we can both fit " . Claire responded with a smile . I was slightly unsure about whether we actually would , but I was not about to argue . " Ok , if you 're sure " I responded as I set the power shower on and the steam begun to form . We both climbed in , and like I had thought , we were quite close together , what with my physique and her ample breasts . I looked at her awkwardly , to which she responded with a reassuring smile . She rinsed her hair , tilting her head back , and in doing so pushed her chest out . I could feel a stir in my trunks as my cock grew and became slightly concerned because of the size of my member . Before I could react or change my position , Claire turned round and leaned forward to reach for the shampoo . Her ass now pressed right up against my crotch , and in doing so sent my cock into overdrive . I was fully erect within a few seconds and I was absalutely certain that she could feel it . Not knowing what to do I froze , and left it up to Claire . I think she sensed this and started to grind up and down over my shaft . After a few strokes she turned and dropped to her knees as she tugged at my waste band . Looking up at me smiling , she pulled out my 9 inch cock and gasped at the size . However , she was clearly determined to please me as she started to lick and kiss my cock head . By this time I was quite sure of what was to come , and decided to be more assirtive . I grasped her hair and started to bop her head down on my cock and she attempted to suck . She was a great cock - sucker and I could feel my balls tense up . Claire sensed this and increased the pace of her blow - job . I pulled her head off my cock and shot load after load of hot cum on her face to which she just licked her lips and continued to smile . I was still hard after " I 'm sorry , I need to go " she claimed quietly and swiftly left without me able to even say bye . I didn 't see Claire for the next week or so , I gathered she felt awkward about the situation and what had happened , however , I was sure that it would not be long before I would be fucking her again . About two weeks after I had sex with Claire , I passed by Bob as I was returning home from work . " Jon ! How are you doing mate , I was wondering , if you don 't have any plans of course , would you like to come over for dinner again tonight ? " Bob said enthusiastically . I showered , and picked a bottle of wine out from the cupboard and headed next door . Bob answered the door , and invited me into the kitchen where Claire was . " Nice to see you Claire , the food smells delicious ! " I said with a grin looking at her cleavage . " Thank you Jon , it will be ready in about 10 minutes " , she replied , as Bob announced he was going to get changed . He left , and Claire began to try and explain . " Look Jon , I 'm sorry about what happened , I got lost in the moment and I " , I cut her off with a kiss , as I pinned her against the kitchen work surface . I could feel her giving in and I knew I would be fucking this woman as soon as I could get her limp dick husband out the way . Thinking of the devil , I heard Bob come down the stairs so I broke our embrace and acted normally as he entered the kitchen . We sat down to eat with Claire opposite me , I kept staring at her ample cleavage and occasionally stroked my leg up hers under the table . All of this oblivious to Bob . We chatted about various things , about our interests and about recent funny things . " Do you ever go to any United games Bob ? " I asked knowing what was to come . " No not really , the ticket prices are so much now we just can 't afford it " he replied . " Well I tell you what , I have a season ticket , but cannot go to the game tomorrow night , I have a high - profile footballer needing extra treatment , so have to miss the game . I think you should go , you will love it , the seat is brilliant ! " I explained to his delight . " Jesus , that would be amazing Jon ! I really would love that ! " Bob answered . Unbeknown to Bob , or Claire , I didn 't really have a patient to treat the following evening . I waited until I knew Bob would be on his way to the game before driving home . I arrived about 6 ′ o . clock , and went straight to Claire 's house . She opened the door in a dressing gown and looking very surprised . " The kids are downstairs watching television , you have to leave now ! " Claire exclaimed . I wasn 't having any of it and kissed her full on . Once again her defence soon weakened and she began to respond to my embrace . I was in charge this time , and I immediately removed her dressing gown . She was naked underneath and looking shagadelic ! I wasn 't wasting any time , I grabbed her head and pulled her down to my erect cock . I quickly unbuckled my trousers and boxers and released my monster penis , which I thrust straight into her mouth . She gagged at first but soon got to grips with her job . After a couple of minutes I pulled her head off my prick and lay on Bob and her bed . Claire knew what was happening and came and sat on my pole . " That 's right , ride my big dick , you fucking love this . Fucking me on Bob 's bed , whilst your kids are just downstairs ! You love it don 't you ! " I growled confidently as I squeezed her big tits . " I do love it , I tried to fight it but I just need your prick . Everything about you is the best , I need a part of you inside me , and I can 't just have Bob 's limp dick hopelessly trying to please me ! I need your monster , now fuck your bitch ! " Claire whispered , looking straight down into my eyes as she rode me like a horse . She really started to bounce up and down on my prick as it invaded her deepest parts of her vagina . Her tits were really bouncing now as her ass slapped down on my hard cock . After about ten minutes of her riding my knob , I spun her onto the bed and entered her in one hard stroke . Again she let out a low moan as I filled her cunt with my pole . I scooped her legs over my shoulders to really give me good access for my assault on her . After numerous orgasms for her , my balls tightened and I thrust into her for the last time . Buried deep in her womb I once again shot my massive load of cum into her craving pussy . " Oh God that was so good ! I 've never ever felt so full in my life . I can 't not have your dick in me . I love it ! " Claire sighed as she calmed down from her climaxing orgasm . " Damn right you love it , from now on , I will fuck you when I want , and you will beg for it . You are my bitch now , and will do what I want you to . " I boasted . Posted in neighbour | Tags : affair , busty , cheating , cock , cum , fuck , neighbour , sex , slut , wife | No Comments » Imagination March 15 , 2013 | Author sexstory I 'm not particularly special . I 'm not shy or overt in nature , nor am I verbose in words . I take care of myself , go to the gym , eat relatively well and I put the right amount of gel in my hair . I have many friends , male and female and I 'm fairly well - liked . I guess I 'm average . Maybe I 'm even boring . But I 'm ok with that , because I can entertain myself with an excellent imagination . I 'm human . I like watching TV , having pizza and beer when the occasion calls for it ( which is most weekends with my buddies ) , I watch porn and I like sex . I don 't have a girlfriend , but I 've had my fair share of experiences . I have desires like any 20 - something , confident , well - groomed , fairly good - looking ( if I do say so myself ) kind of guy and I like to entertain them . Tonight , though , I have no plans , so I 'm sitting in the dark on my couch , contemplating life . When I get like this - analytical and self - exploratory - I generally end up falling asleep before I can discern my next great advance in life . But for some reason , tonight I 'm horny . I have no basis for this other than being of the male species . I didn 't see a particularly hot chick on TV who got my juices going , as they say . I don 't even have someone to think about while I jack off to whatever images I may see or conjure in my mind 's eye . I just noticed that I 'm rock hard for no specific reason and I 'm marveling at the incredible sight that is my cock in my hand . It 's somewhat pathetic that I 'm home alone , doing what I 'd rather be doing with the girl next door . Not literally … That 's just a figure of speech . Or is it ? Now that I think of it , there 's a pretty hot new neighbour who I 've seen jogging up and down the street , ass tight in her Lulu Lemons , tits bouncing as she runs . She has tight abs , smooth legs , and a long , dark ponytail that she wears loosely on top of her head , with strands falling around her almond - coloured face . Her eyes are dark and piercing , which I 've only noticed because she 's waved a few times when she 's seen me on the stoop as I 've collected the morning paper . I have no idea what her name is , but right now , my cock doesn 't care . I 'm not even aware of it , but I 've taken myself completely out of my boxers , my eyes are closed and my hand is moving slightly faster on my dick than it was thirty seconds ago . The neighbour is in my mind and suddenly , the tank top she normally wears has become a lacy , black bra . Her capri Lulu 's are a matching thong and she 's in my living room . I can 't imagine this would ever really happen . I 'm not special , but I guess I 'm not bad . Maybe I should give myself more credit , because there she is and the wetness I feel on my fingers could very well be either of us . She must be thirsty after her run , because , dressed in her barely - there 's , she grabs a glass of water and drinks most of it down in a few seconds . The rest , she dips her fingers in and splashes her face , and beads of water drip onto the roundness of her upper breasts . Did her tits just go up a size ? Yes , I think they did . She smiles at me seductively , because , really , there 's no other way for me to imagine this . She sees me lazily sitting on the couch with a hand on my cock and she looks almost disappointed that it 's not her doing the work . She moves toward me and I 'm getting excited , wondering what she intends to do . She can only want to please me in every way imaginable , given that this is my fantasy . My pre - cum is oozing in anticipation and I am forced to take my hand off of myself to allow her to get to work . She doesn 't take her sharp eyes off of mine , which drives me wild and makes me anxious at the same time . She 's now kneeling in front of me , my legs spread and she has a coy smile that tells me that I 'm going to enjoy this , as if there was another choice . She slowly reaches out and takes my hard dick in her hand and I shiver at her light touch . With her thumb , she ever so slowly swirls my juices over my head and the electricity shocks me . I groan and wonder where the sound came from , as I was fairly sure that I was not a moaner . Enthused by my response , she leans forward , not diverting her gaze from my face until she has no further choice and suddenly , my cock is in her warm mouth . Barely moving , she tickles the head with her tongue , circling it , pressing against its most sensitive underside . Even more slowly , she begins to swallow me , pushing my shaft deeper into her mouth , all the while , washing me with broad strokes of her tongue . Her hand is pushed to the base of my dick and when she comes up for air , it mounts with her , pumping me so infuriatingly slowly , once , twice , three times until she gingerly takes me in again . I can 't help but push my hips up toward her and I cringe each time she pulls away . I want her to work her faster and make me cum all over her face , but at the same time , I find myself enjoying this tantalizing tease more than I thought I would . Whose fantasy is this , really ? In clear efforts to cause my inevitable insanity , she sits back on her heels and smiles in a way that tells me she is gaining some pleasure in this torture . She begins to rub her hands over her chest , pushing her tits together and up , revealing cleavage and a small beauty mark that I just noticed above her bra on her right breast . Reaching behind her back , she unclasps the delicate lace barricade and allows herself to fall out of her bra , heavy and pert . Her nipples are hard ; her breasts perfectly round , with some give , proving naturalness in their sway . She takes a moment to pinch her nipples and she groans as she does , her head falling back , revealing her deliciously appetizing neck . She enjoys the moment and her own touch and now I want to touch her . I don 't get the chance , though , because she has other plans . Leaning forward again , she places my desperate cock in between her tits and begins to rub them against me . My pre - cum is doing its job in coating her and the lubrication allows for easy gliding through her ample cleavage . She 's looking down and enjoying the show , which makes two of us . My hips have a mind of their own and I can 't control myself as I start to thrust into her . My angle is off , so I push myself closer to her from my seat on the couch . Although I have little leverage , I use every muscle I can to move with her as she bounces her tits up and down on my shaft . I don 't have enough control like this and maybe I like that in some way , but I think I want more . I stand up and for a moment , I 'm held hostage , as she instantly takes me in her mouth again and starts sucking fast and hard . Where did this come from ? I can 't move , nor do I want to and I watch her take me all in . I don 't hold her head , but I caress it as she swallows me , twirls her tongue around me , pulls me out and takes me in again . She moves even faster and I 'm starting to buck wildly , feeling myself get out of control . She doesn 't stop , not for a second and she sucks me hard , with fervour and desire . I can 't help pulling her head into me , now and she doesn 't object . I feel her swallow against me , hot , slippery and soft and the next instant I feel myself against the roof of her mouth , hard and rough . Her teeth barely graze me , but it doesn 't hurt and the changing sensations are nearly sending me overboard . Her tongue is magical , like fairies or gypsies or a fucking blowjob goddess and I think there must be a light emanating from her mouth that feels like nothing I 've ever experienced . I drive myself into her face and I don 't know how , but she never breaks her rhythm and I 'm going to burst … Her hand is on my balls … Holy shit , that feels so good … and we 're both making sounds that could only mean an impending explosion . Her other hand is on her tits ; one then the other , then back and she 's roughly squeezing them . The pleasure she 's deriving from her own actions throws me into a near rage and I want to cum all over her . Man , those breasts look good . I can 't decide if I want to fuck her , let her blow me to oblivion or shoot my load on her body just so I can watch her get off on the sheer act of causing me such enjoyment . I opt for the latter and although it 's hard to stop her assault , I gently guide her onto her back , groaning as she strives to keep my cock in her mouth while we move . Now I 'm straddling her face , but I don 't want to choke her . I pull back and with a pillow under her head ( how did that get there ? ) , she darts out her tongue and continues to lick my head in earnest . I have little patience left , so I shift myself down her body , until I 'm just over her glorious tits . I start jerking myself again and I feel the wetness from her mouth still on me , which drives me absolutely wild . I rub myself on her chest , slathering her in our combined juices and I roughly push her breasts together over my dick . She envelopes me easily and assists me with her own hands , aware of what I 'm trying to accomplish . I 'm too close to stop and I start to buck my hips faster , thrusting between her bouncing tits , seeing my cock push out the top . She greets each drive with her tongue , flicking it against me with a heat that 's nearly intolerable . I feel myself getting tight and my cockhead is purple with rage . She pinches her nipples , moans , screams and calls my name as I get closer and closer … I pound her harder , coating her tits with more pre - cum than I thought possible . With one , two , three more thrusts , I cry out in a release that knocks me forward and I have to plant one hand next to her head to prevent myself from falling on her . I cum all over her tits , her face and her hair and she licks her lips to taste my explosion . Her breathing is as heavy as mine and as we slow our pace and my dick begins to calm , I rub it along her breasts for one last beautiful view of our entanglement . I realize that she hasn 't cum . I realize that I still don 't know her name . I realize that my stomach is drenched , as are my knuckles and the top of my boxers . I 'm sitting on the couch and I 'm spent , my cock in my hand , my house dark and I 'm alone . I smile , relieved and relaxed . I 'm not particularly special and I may even be boring . But I have one hell of an imagination .
|
26 July , 2011Generaljen I have many happy memories of my Gran . She always made piles and piles of cakes and homemade pasties whenever we came down to stay , and she 'd make special effort to make the ones that I liked . Whenever we went to a park she 'd go on the swings and swing higher than me - they were her favourite . And for her 80th , when we were trying to encourage to take it easy , we bought her an outside swinging sofa - and I 'd love sharing a swing with her . In the mornings I 'd climb into bed with them and chatter until I 'd told them everything under the sun . In the evenings we 'd play ' UNO ' and she 'd always gasp whenever the game didn 't quite go her way . On Sunday she didn 't wake up . She 'd had a massive stroke overnight and will never wake up normally again . She 's also got pneumonia and today they have stopped treating her . They think she 'll die in the next day or two . 17 October , 2010Generaljen I 've had a headache for 2 weeks . Went to the doctor earlier this week about it , who said it might be sinusitus but wasn 't sure enough to hand out antibiotics . Instead he gave me a pain killer , with instructions to take them for a few days and if my headache is still there after that , then go back to see him again . Except that the pain killers have never completely got rid of it . And now I 'm more certain it 's sinusitus - my face feels all tight and sinuses hurt , my glands swollen and my ears don 't feel right . The weird thing is , my nose is still clear . It just feels like everything except my nose is blocked . On Friday I went to the chemist and asked for advice and the pharmacist gave me really strong decongestants . I only took them for one day because they made me really drowsy and didn 't seem to unclog anything . The drowsiness just made me feel worse , I couldn 't walk around the flat without feeling like I was going to fall over . I 'm going back to the doctors tomorrow . It just feels like this is the most drawn out illness ever . And I have to be better by next weekend - not only is it a double hen weekend , Mr B is also taking me to see Kate Rusby ! I can 't be ill ! Lets hope that the illness which takes nearly 2 weeks to come to light , recovers in less than a week . 17 May , 2010General , Uncategorizedweddingjen So we 've got less than 10 weeks till the big day and everyone keeps asking if I 'm really stressed yet , and I 'm not . Really not . I 've got my book of lists , which gets edited weekly , and my guest spreadsheet which gets updated whenever we get a reply . I 'm ahead of my timescale plan , so have been doing what I can towards things that I can 't do yet - like colour coding guests in the spreadsheet if they know each other , so I can start planning seating arrangements , and designing thank you cards for people 's time and gifts for afterwards . My dress is all ready for the first fitting - am just finishing buying my accessories , so I 'll get to see how it looks all together shortly . 🙂 Even when the caterer phoned to say she couldn 't do what her predecessor promised us , I wasn 't stressed . I just explained why her alternative was not suitable for us , and pointed out that her predecessor had these promises in a written quote . Fourty eight hours later , after she 'd discussed it with her boss , she declared it was no longer a problem . Maybe I 'm not stressed yet because I 'm still enjoying all the planning . All the lists , emails and plans get me excited and I like it when I have wedding stuff to do . Maybe I 'm not stressed because work can be so intense and stressful that comparatively this feels like a walk in the park . And because it 's so different from work , then it 's a nice change on my days off . Maybe I 'm not stressed because Mr B isn 't . He too has perspective on whole thing , with his line of work , so is relaxed about it all - whether the day runs absolutely perfectly isn 't important in the big picture . 19 April , 2010Generaljen I 've been spending more time at the allotment recently - it helps that we live 2 . 5 minutes walk from it , and it 's a nice break from both wedding planning and work ! It 's a community allotment which is run by our church , although Mr B is officially the lease holder and we do a lot of the work towards it . At the moment I 'm trying to weed the strawberries . This has been an ongoing task ever since I started helping with the allotment , but now I 'm really trying to get on top of it . Trying to dig up all the weed 's roots , and leave the strawberries behind . It 's quite a fiddly job and generally takes an hour or two to properly weed a squared metre of strawberries . And the patch is 3 by 4 metres . Once I 've got rid of all the weeds , my plan is to cover the ground around the strawberries in a thick layer of bark ( which is provided at the allotment ) to stop the weeds coming back . Hopefully . Last summer we dug a pond at the allotment , and we 've been trying to get some plants growing in the pond to attract wildlife , such as tadpoles , with the hope that the frogs will eat the slugs … Our allotment neighbour kindly gave us a cutting from his pond , and we got some oxygenating plants from a local aquatics centre . A month or two ago the pond was still looking pretty dead , the plants didn 't look like they were thrieving at all . But recently , with the sun coming out , the donated plant has bloomed and the oxygenating plants look much healthier . I was gazing into the pond on Saturday , watching the pond skaters glide across the top of the pond and looking out for tadpoles , when I spotted a newt swimming across the pond ! It was about two inches long and looked like a mini lizard ! It 's a great sign that something is living in our pond , just as long as newts don 't eat tadpoles … 24 March , 2010Generalweddingjen This morning I finished making all of the invites ! ! 😀 They 're all in their envelopes , waiting to be addressed and posted / delievered . They took many hours to make , although I decided to blitz them over the past two weeks , so have spent 2 - 4 hours on each of my days off making them . As you might expect , I got quicker the more I did , and it was quite nice to sit and watch TV for an hour , plodding on with them . I don 't think I 've watched TV these past two weeks without making invitations . I have enjoyed doing it , but I 'm also really glad that I 've finished them . I finished at 11 . 45 this morning , and at 12 . 45 I was in the swimming pool - desperate to do something different ! Otherwise the wedding plans are coming together nicely … I 'm currently making a shortlist for bridesmaids ' dresses , ready for when my girlies are coming to try them on , part of the cake has been baked , the honeymoon 's sorted , our wedding rings are sorted , my parents bought their outfits the other week , we 've written an order of service for the ceremony and talked to the vicar / churchwarden . Being a Methodist who is getting married in a C of E church means I 'm a bit confused by all the wedding banns stuff - all these forms that have got to be carefully filled in , and next week we 're off to see our local vicar to arrange the reading of them in our local church . And given that we attend a fresh expression church , we had to work out if legally this counted as ' worshipping in the parish ' . It all seems a bit faffy . Looking ahead from here , a lot of what I need to do , is go shopping ! My dress is going to be made by the end of May , so I 'm going to try to get all my accessories by then . Then of course there 's the bridesmaids ' dresses and my going away outfit . Originally I wasn 't fussed about a going away outfit , but then found out the reception venue has a special bridal room , which got me all excited and made me want to use it ! I had previously envisioned myself trying to get out of my dress in the toilets ! And also , because we 're going straight from the reception to the hotel and then to the honeymoon - I don 't really want to take my dress on the train , all the way to Italy ! 14 February , 2010Cycling , Generaljen Just over two weeks ago I wrote off our car . I drove it into an ( illegally ) parked car which was sticking out into the road , and was clamped and then towed shortly after the accident . My windscreen was misted up so I didn 't see it , until I 'd crashed into the back of it . I was fine , the other car just had a stratch on it , but ours had a reasonable sized dent and when I attempted to drive it again the steering was all off . So I decided it was safer to leave it at the side of the road ( in a safe place ) , and then arrange for it to be picked up by the garage . Its taken two weeks for the insurance company to decide that it 's a write off . So we 've been without a car for the past two weeks . It 's odd , because all through university and for my first 18 months in Bristol I didn 't have access to a car . Other than my friend 's cars . And even when I was a child we had a car but my Mum couldn 't drive , my Dad was in work a lot , so most of the time when I needed to get somewhere I walked , cycled or bused it . But recently I 've been taking advantage of having a car - being able to go to the supermarket of your choice , rather than the one that is walking distance , being able to move house , being dropped off at work when it 's tipping it down instead of cycling in . And in the past few months I 've even had the car during the week days when I 'm not in work , because Mr B 's been cycling to work . And then suddenly it 's gone . It wouldn 't have been that big an issue if we had finished moving house . But we hadn 't . At the time of crashing the car was full of cleaning stuff and other odds and ends that hadn 't made it to the new house yet . I managed to salvage all of this stuff before the car got taken for scrap , by doing two trips on foot - the first with a set of plastic drawers ( that we use for recycling ) that had wheels on the bottom , so I filled it with stuff from the car and wheeled it along the pavement . The second time I took my big 55L rucksack and filled it , and So there 's the disadvantages … On the flip side , I think it made me realise how much I took our car for granted . When you don 't have a car , you have to cycle or walk everywhere . We normally try to shop locally anyway , but ' local ' shrinks when you don 't have a car . Having said this , ' Ikea ' is now ' local ' , in that it is walking distance , as we 've recently discovered . The only problem with that is , you can 't buy any furniture . It 's made both of us slightly fitter , now that we * have to * cycle to work . We 're both slightly too far from work to walk now . And it 's up hill on the way home . Yesterday we spent about four hours on a round bus trip to the suburbs to look at a car Mr B had researched online . And we 've bought it ! It 's a second hand car which cost roughly the amount the insurance company are giving us for the old car , but the new car is better ! It 's bigger and the CO2 emissions are very low . We 're waiting to hear that its service is finished , which should be in the next couple of days . I think Mr B is going to cycle out there this time - we had a half an hour walk at either end of the bus rides , so it wasn 't exactly straightforward , and then hope to fit his bike in the back of the car to get it home . And then we can buy heavy stuff from the supermarket , the bike shed for our bikes and take some bits and bobs to the tip . 🙂 But we have promised to continue cycling as much as possible . 22 December , 2009General , Spiritualityjen I 've now finished work for Christmas , well until 7 . 30pm on Christmas day when I start nights , but I still get most of Christmas day to relax and a nice few days off before it . And after my nights I 'm heading down south to see my family for a couple of days . We 've got the in laws staying for the Christmas holiday days . So I 'm feeling quite Christmasy … we 've got our real tree up and all the presents underneath , we will be going shopping for all the Christmas food shortly and I 've got Kate Rusby 's Sweet Bells playing . We had our church 's carol service on Sunday evening , followed by birthday cake for Jesus and two congregational members . One of these congregational members is 91 and she every day she walks into the centre and protests for peace at the side of the road , which led us to have a discussion as to whether Jesus does this … Although the best carol event this year had to be ' Beer and Carols ' , an adaptation of Greenbelt 's ' Beer and Hymns ' . Our church has done it in previous years but we didn 't last year , and this year the landlord requested us back ! So we took over half the pub with our instruments and singers , handing out sheets to other publicans and collected money for my work ( by coincidence ! ) . Some people obviously , moved away from us and grumbled about not being able to have a quiet evening in the pub , but others were coming up with requests and joining in . And it was good fun ! I 've calmed down since my rant the other day , and also had a chance to think about it from his perspective a bit more . The whole thing basically means we 've got to move house in the new year , when we were planning to stay where we are till April . So Mr B 's done some research and we 're off to see some places shortly . Christmas isn 't the ideal time to be house hunting because many estate agents have already closed for the holiday , but hopefully we 'll find somewhere suitable in the next few weeks . 22 November , 2009Generalweddingjen I currently feeling reasonably organised with all the wedding planning . We 're getting married in July and we 've sorted the church , reception venue , transport , my dress , Mr B 's suit , his shoes and the entertainment . Which I think is fairly good going . The venue that I previously posted about , we rejected when I realised that even if we managed to get our disabled guests up the two flights of stairs , the toilets couldn 't fit a chair in ( when we 'd asked about a disabled toilet , we were informed that ' the toilets are on the same level ' , but not that they will actually fit a wheelchair in ! ) . We managed to find a venue with beautiful gardens , a large hall with enough tables for everyone to eat at and full disabled access . Basically , it ticked all the boxes , so we went with it . Mr B sorted his suit back in October , because a high street shop was offering half price on made to measure suits , which he 'd decided he wanted . And then he managed to get his shoes from the same shop , again 50 % off . So he 'd done very well , but it was making me feel disorganised because I hadn 't done much about my dress ! Last weekend I went to London to visit a bridesmaid and had fun trying on dresses in a Barnardos shop which specialises in selling designer wedding dresses that have been used in photoshoots or as a sample in shops . Its a very good scheme , which Oxfam also offer in some shops , but you have to be able to find a dress that you like and can fit into . If it 's a bit too big , it can be made to fit you , but you can 't make the dresses any bigger . But obviously , they were good value . During the week I was at my parents house in Manchester , and went to proper bride shop with Mum , where they have designer dresses which they can order in your size , and then they adjust it to make it * properly * fit . I had thought that I would prefer not to go through all the faff of having fittings , etc , and if I could find a dress that worked ( and I liked it ) in Oxfam / Barnardos , then that would be preferable . But I don 't have a typical sized body - certain bits are proportionally bigger than the rest of me , so trying to find ' the perfect dress ' , without getting it properly fitted , would be difficult . And there was one dress in the shop in Manchester that I really liked . I 'd decided that it was too expensive , but I then couldn 't get it out of my head . I 'd look online and think ' but none of them are as nice as that one in Manchester ' . My Mum was with me then , and she really liked it too . So , I juggled my finances a little , went to this same bride shop but in my home city , tried it on again , got properly meausured and paid for it ! It was very exciting ! 😀 The thing is , I 'm trying not to buy into the whole bridal / wedding expectations . Like it 's expected that I 'll wear heels on my wedding day . I don 't do heels . I can 't walk in them and I have never found a pair of heels that have been comfortable . I would like to be able to walk on my wedding day , without cursing my shoes , so I intend to find a nice pair of flatish , comfortable shoes or sandals . The dress can be shortened with this in mind , so I don 't see the problem . There just seems to be so many traditions that surround weddings that you 're expected to follow - why ? What 's the reasoning behind it ? Can 't we do it a different way ? 17 November , 2009Generaljen My Grandad was a postmaster . And he had a passion for collecting things that he thought might be worth something someday . So , as you can imagine , he owned a fairly large stamp collection . In his Will he specified that when he died this collection is to be sold and the money split between his four grandchildren . Given that my auntie has enough stuff to deal with in Cornwall , after the funeral my parents brought this stamp collection home to work out what was there and to get it valued . The whole thing intrigued me - all my life I 'd known there was a stamp collection up in the attic at Gran and Papa 's house , but apart from the small fraction he 'd given to Big Sis and I as children , I 'd never seen it . So I offered to spend a couple of days at home , going through it all . It was a good job that somebody did go through it before sending it off to be valued , as I also found hundreds of slides , photographs and personal family items . There were also numerous albums , 2 boxes of loose stamps , a box of old books about stamps , a suitcase full of first day covers , a fairly large number of mint condition stamps , a massive pile of unusual envelopes , a collection of postcards and a small collection of coins . Some items dated back to the beginning of last century , and some even earlier . I have absolutely no idea how much it is all worth . But it was absolutely fascinating to look through it all - you never quite knew what you were going to find next . Reading letters which were sent over 50 years ago , and are part of my family history , was really interesting . For example , my Dad came across a postcard that had been sent from my great grandad to my great aunt , when she was 10 . Anyway , I have removed all the personal items , separated the coins and postcards which I believe will go to a different specialist , and packed it all back up again . It 's going to a friend of a friend who can value it and knows people in the stamp collecting world who might be interested in buying some of it . In a way , it would be nice to keep it for our future generations , but the practicalities of sharing a stamp collection four ways , is impossible . And none of the grandchildren have a particular interest in keeping it going , so it makes sense to sell it . We just have to wait and see how much it 's worth . 26 October , 2009Generalweddingjen Does anybody have any knowledge about portable chairs for disabled people which have a track on the back on them to take people safely up and down stairs ? These people sell and hire such chairs for evacuation purposes , but the proper ones with a track on the back only go down stairs . Which seems a bit daft to me - what if you were in a basemate and needed to evacuate ? ! Let me explain … basically , we 've found a wedding venue which is really amazing and we both love it . But it 's up two flights of stairs and I have elderly relatives who cannot climb that many stairs . One relative is in a wheelchair and there are another couple of guests who don 't use a chair ( yet ) , but would struggle when faced with that many stairs . We asked the venue about disabled access , they had been thinking about building a lift , but they can 't afford it at the moment . As they 're a small company who require a big change to enable proper disabled access , they can sidestep the disability discrimination act . They did say they were perfectly happy to carry wheelchairs up the stairs , but it isn 't very dignified , especially for someone who doesn 't normally require a chair ! In America there 's a company who sell and hire chairs that have an electronic track on the back of the chair , which can then go up or down stairs . If we could get hold of something like that , manual or electronic , it would solve this problem and allow us to have the venue we want . Does anybody have any suggestions ? ? ?
|
I managed to completely lose my keys . Luckily , I had spares , but still . . . . I have misplaced them before , but they are usually found after a thorough search ( sprinkled with spicy language ) in a jacket pocket , car floor boards , under the hutch , in the laundry hamper . This time ? Nada . Last night I arrived home , schlepped some delivered boxes in the house , let the dogs out , and discovered . . . no cell phone . Once again , a thorough search ( sprinkled with both spicy and salty language ) uncovered . . . . still no cell phone . That 's not too bad , ' cause I still have my computer and email so in case I am marooned on my desert island of a farmet , I can still be in contact with the world , right ? I made a cup of tea ( the British really do have something there ) , sat down with my knitting and managed to ignore the stupid demons ( you know , those little voices in your head that dress you down for being such an ignoramus as to have lost both keys AND phone - and then move onto every other stupid thing you 've done in your life ) . This morning , I ran a thorough virus scan on the computer ( without salty or spicy language ) and did not try to open it . I then tottered into the office where I discovered my phone . On my desk . I was driving over the mountain this morning , when I crested a ridge and was blinded ! Sun ! Holey Mackerel ! I could barely see where I was going , having been reduced to mole - vision by the gloom of the last many weeks . I groped around for the Beloved Sunglasses and spent the rest of the drive sighing happily , as Vitamin D3 found its way to my inner being . It made me feel so good , that I only blinked slightly when presented with the total at the pet mart checkout . Speaking of shopping , the day after Christmas , I pulled on my BGPs ( which are looking a bit tattered , I might add ) , and headed to the closest mall . I had to get chicken feed , so was going in that general direction . The reason I was driven to such madness was that I had a gift card for a certain store that was due to expire . And , being cheap frugal , I was not going to let it go to waste . I got my 100 # of feed , took a deep breath , drove on and circled the mall , looking for a non - packed parking space near the outside entrance . I was NOT going through the mall . When I walked in , I almost staggered from the excess in front of me . It hit me that I had not been in a regular clothing / department store for more than 3 years . All of my clothes and general shopping is done either at thrift stores , online or through the closets of generous friends with great taste ( Oh , how I miss you , Sylvie . . . ) My goal was to take my $ 25 gift card and buy a top or two for work . Oy ! There was an ocean of packed racks everywhere I looked ! Too many colors ! Too much everything ! However , I lucked out and had entered the store right into an area of a designer who had less gaudy stuff . So I hyperventilated my way around , snatched two sweaters off the first rack I came to and asked a store employee if the sale signs applied to them . She scanned them and - woot ! - 60 % off ! I quickly grabbed two more tops and tottered to the checkout . Along with 40 other women , all of whom had returns . Oy , OY . A very attractive young woman from cosmetics sauntered up to our line and offered to check out anyone who was interested . I was quickly in her perfumey wake and checked out with no problem . The average price of the four items I bought - before sale - was $ 49 . After applying my gift card , I only had to pony up $ 18 ! I was so excited . The lovely young woman gushed , " Oh , you saved ONE HUNDRED AND TWELVE DOLLARS ! " To which I replied , " Can you imagine the markup on this stuff ? " She looked at me disapprovingly . I was clearly not appreciating what Macy 's had done for mePosted by Well , that was fast and furious . Oddly enough , the build - up and follow - through were pretty busy , while the actual event ( Christmas ) was exceptionally quiet . One thing I have realized with having five days off - when I retire , the dogs are going to need hobbies that don 't involve second - to - second contact with me . I have apparently caught the Mama Pea organizing bug , as I was a whirlwind of sorting , piling , cleaning and resorting , piling and more cleaning yesterday . However , very UNLIKE her , I have little focus and can work furiously and diligently only for a half day before I am inexorably drawn to fifteen other things that really don 't need doing . This new year , I am fully embracing the weirdness of me and . . . whatever . My youngest DS got this great shot of the granddogs on Christmas . You will note the total focus - it is , after all , food . Also notice the tiny bow on top of Pepper 's noggin . I tell you , you could graft a beaver on his head and he wouldn 't care - as long as there was food involved . After vowing never to bake again ( at least for a week ) , I baked a batch of GF , dairy - free gingerbread cookies to take to my neighbor 's annual holiday party . One of our mutual neighbors was bringing her daughter , who was allergic or hyper sensitive to everything . Unfortunately , they did not come , so now I have enough GF / DF cookies to last the year . Oh , darn . . . . not . They are pretty good , if I do say so myself . Sunday , in my cleaning frenzy , I went to step down off my step stool and missed the last step . This was no great travesty , as it wasn 't far to the floor . But I hit the floor hard enough to send a shock wave up my spine , into my jaw and it cracked an ancient filling . A perfect end to an imperfect year . I had been meaning to call to make an appointment with my old dentist - from about six years ago - so this morning I called , whined into the phone and they were very nice . They would squeeze me in tomorrow afternoon . She called back to say that someone had cancelled and I could come in even earlier . Groovy ! Then she called again later this morning and informed me , in an incredibly icy tone , that they had discovered that I had sent a copy of my records to a new dentist back in 200 - whatever , and it was their policy to never let me darken their doorstep again . Wha ? Those are my words , but it is a very close translation to their policy . Hoot ! I guess there is a dark side to a small , family practice . A sort of , " Well , Missy , you 've made your bed now go lie in it ! " So I am back to waiting for the entire dental staff of my present mega - practice to all come back from their two week vacation to squeeze me in in about a month - and try to jam a very expensive fix down my gullet , you should pardon the expression . I loathe dentists . Are you making your list of New Year 's Resolutions ? I like to do it , if for nothing more than a mental exercise . I am unlikely to develop many ( if any ) good habits , as the only habits I seem to glom onto are baaaad . . . : ) Every year , my darling girl Santa J in PA remembers all of us . And I mean ALL of us - right down to the flock of chickens . I had pulled into the carport / garage after a particularly grueling nighttime commute this last week , to find a large package perched on the wheelbarrow . ( Aside here - my postman is the bees ' knees . ) I thought it was a missing package from Amazon that had become one of those shipping horror stories . But it wasn 't ! It was from Santa J ! And it weighed a ton . I staggered into the house , clutching it in my arms , where it was met with a great deal of enthusiasm - but outies first . After gathering eggs and tossing hay at the sheep / llama , I was free to come in and open it . I tell you , I am about 6 years old when I open her packages . . . and there are three pair of bright little eyes on me during each and every move . This post could also be titled , " The Importance of Being Flexible " . As I toddled about on Saturday , doing my usual chores as well as a stop at the vet for Scrappy 's booster vaccine shot and to pick up a sandwich tray for my favorite guys at my mechanic 's , I was unaware that there was drama unfolding at my parents ' house . This was because my dad is now not able to function well in emergencies and was unable to call me . As I sat in the Midas waiting room having them look at my front tires , and having a delightful chat with my DS Melanie who I hadn 't seen in ages , I wasn 't in any rush . When Scrappy and I walked up the path to their back door , my dad met us and informed me that Mom ' had fallen ' and wouldn 't let him call an ambulance . I sprinted the rest of the way . Long story short , she had tripped over a 3 gal . water jug on the kitchen floor , and went down squarely on her face . And there she lay for over an hour , waiting for me to arrive . Seeing as my mother is at least as stubborn as I am - if not more , as she is , after all , the source of the stubborn gene - no ambulance was called and we managed to get her down into the car with Dad . And Scrappy . They are very lucky to be so close to a very good hospital with an excellent emergency room staff . She got right in and CAT scans were ordered . Miraculously , nothing was broken , but she now sported two shiners and her sighted eye was swollen shut , rendering her blind . They wouldn 't release her unless someone ( other than Dad ) was with her 24 hours , so I promised and we went back to their place . I got them settled , then raced home , did chores and threw the other two dogs in the car . My DS from New Hampshire came over on Sunday and will be staying until Wednesday , when my youngest sister from NYC will be coming up . Every time there is an emergency , I am reminded that my mother and father had planned on having five boys . They quit after three girls . I feel quite smug that the Universe knew better . . . . It 's important , when you have elderly parents , to have a plan . Our plan was pretty loosey - goosey , as we have never sat down , all three of us ( with or without parents ) to discuss what - ifs . It is also a testimony to the strength and love of our small family that we can spring into action without a thought - and that we love our parents mightily - and we love each other just as much . I am so happy to have my sisters and parents in my life . I am a mightily lucky duck . I am not a lover of holidays . It may be because I am so turned - off by the tsunami of Christmas ads , bad music , non - stop commercialism that starts earlier every year . It may be because I am older and crankier . It may be because all the hoo - ha exacerbates the fact that I am solo . There is also the fact that my family is small , there are no little tots over which to squeak and squeal ( I do that over my dogs . In private . ) and we are never able to all get together at the same time . I have , over the years , begun a campaign to stave off the dark mantle that starts to settle over me mid - November . I put on holiday music and change the lyrics to entertain the dogs . I find something to bake . I focus on the multitude of good things in my life . This year I am tempted to dress the dogs up in embarrassingly silly get - ups and take their pictures . I may put reindeer antlers on my cow , Jasmine . She is very good - natured , as long as I have a cow treat . One of the good things about a small family with no tots in attendance , is that we can skip the gifts . Not only ease my financial burden , but it puts all ones focus on the gathering , the food , the music , the being there . It is way more special . Plus , it doesn 't add stuff to my pile of stuff . * * I swear I will clean out my craft / office / dog / cat / room this winter * * Any gifting I do is homemade . Whether the recipients want it or not . . . however , I doubt if the Barn Crew will turn down cinnamon rolls , nor will the postman , nor will the transfer station guys . I do some selective gifting - homemade chicken liver pate for my neighbor - and other giftings that I am not at liberty to divulge . New traditions that are a highlight of my holiday season is breakfast with my neighbor , Nancy , early on a weekday morning before work . And possibly working in a gossip / knitting / catch - up session with my DS Melanie ( HINT HINT HINT ) . Speaking of gifting , my ' boss ' - whom I love to pieces - always overdoes it at Christmas . She staggered in with a hefty basket that contained a lovely scarf ( handmade by women in Nepal ) , a very nice girlie - type set of lotion and shower gel , a gift card for Amazon . com , an amaryllis bulb kit , and . . . a re - gift . I hooted with laughter when I opened that bag ( containing two precious - read : expensive - bottles containing balsamic vinegar and a wild mushroom sage infused EVOO ) and a card dropped out . It thanked her for ' having ' this couple over for dinner . I am not complaining , envisioning as I am , that infused oil drizzled over some al dente pasta . Providing I can find some GF pasta I can tolerate . I am a firm believer in re - gifting . As one who liberally bestows gifts on the unsuspecting , I always add to my greetings that they should feel free to pass it on if they don 't want / need it . That does not bother me at all . What 's the consensus out there on re - gifting ? Yay or Nay ? You need a Weeno - Rooter . I ran across a great deal on chicken thighs and pressure - canned 24 qts of chicken and broth for the dogs . There is nothing I hate more than to have to deal with grease up to my shoulder when I wash my largest stock pot . Ergo - the Weeno - Rooter . Or , Pepper Pot Licker . I may just rent him out . Believe it or not , even at my ( ahem ) advanced age , I never , every had an Advent Calendar . I secretly coveted those of my friends in school . I came close dozens of times to buying one of my very own . I also came close more dozens of times making my own . But , as is always the case , a combination of procrastination and my pesky lack of focus delayed me past a reasonable deadline . My first , very own , lovely , wonderful Advent Calendar ! I love it ! Gifted to me by the eminently talented , lovely and muy compasivo Chicken Mama ! I am wallowing in the too - little - daylight blues . I really do need to give myself a swift kick in the tush , but I 'm not as limber as I used to be . I have sat down four times to compose a pithy post , only to stare , blankly , at the screen . The only reason I 'm typing now , is that I 'm at work ( please don 't rat me out ) and trying to appear bustling . Sometimes the only way to get through writer 's block is to force your way through . I had thought about borrowing Tami 's ploy and posting the alphabet . I thought I would start in reverse order , though , because that is more my style . Back - ass - wards . The only thing I could come up with for Z , however , was zebra . When I was a tot , I had a stuffed zebra that I named Eeyore . Yes , yes , I know that Eeyore was a donkey without a tail , but the beauty of being a child is that there are no boundaries as far as your imagination goes . Why do we lose so much of that when we are older ? I also had a doll named Poor Pitiful Pearl . It was supposed to be a homely doll , but I thought she was spunky and beautiful . Too bad I don 't still have her , as I 'm sure she 'd be a valuable relic by now . As much as I loved my PPP , I had nothing but disdain for my Barbies . While the " Z " has given me a little pep in the writing department , I doubt if I will continue on . I chafe at restrictions ( including restrictive jeans . . . snort ) . The weekend was pretty much on a par with all weekends , with the exception of getting to stand on tall ladders in gale force , arctic winds trying to attach another tarp to my fuel tank enclosure . Gee , that was fun . I did get a smidgen more in the holiday mood when I put up my parents ' cute little tree . They have always had a fresh tree - with the rare exception of last year . We will give it a week to relax , and my dad will take his time putting the lights on . As he grows older ( 92 and counting ) , he becomes more focused on individual tasks . Sort of like obsessive . So , I am sure the lights will be perfectly placed and evenly spaced . Sunday morning , I had my early birthday breakfast with my friend , Maggie . She is my oldest friend up here . I have known her 15 years . I always look forward to spending time with her - she is one of those people who make you feel lighter and happier after spending 15 minutes in their presence . I also like this type of birthday celebration . I return the favor for her birthday - a win - win , win - win . Then I came home and roasted a pie pumpkin and made peanut butter pumpkin dog biscuits . Once I was nice and warm , I forced myself outside to schlep 100 # of chicken feed to their bin and wrestle with the aforementioned tarp . I have long ago resigned myself to having to do jobs , no matter what the weather , since I usually have only one day to do them . And Ma Nature can be a tough broad with a quirky sense of humor . The sheep got three pumpkins ( frozen / thawed / frozen / thawed ) and were very happy . Norman has gotten over his fear of pumpkins and can gnaw them down with the best of them . I begrudgingly put up outdoor holiday lights - but only because I can 't see from the garage to the front door at night . It sure ain 't because I 'm in the mood . . . I did , however , put up my twinkly lights across the mantelpiece and that always mellows me out . While I might have been grumbling ( putting it mildly ) about shoveling a quarter - mile of paths through a foot + of heavy , wet , icy snow on Thanksgiving morning , it did have it 's positive side . Apparently , being trapped in the coop with only their nesting boxes to keep them occupied , has joggled the hens ' memories . I am now getting three or four eggs a day ! This has been the longest dry spell as far as eggs go , ever on the Little Lucky . I have a total of 24 chickens - three are roosters , about half are getting on in years , and the rest should be laying their little hearts out . The reality is , I have gone over 27 days without one . single . egg . Sluggards . However , even my Peanut ( banty ) is back in the boxes . So , while the days continue to shrink into 4 hours of so - called daylight , the hens are back to work . The irony is not lost on me . . . but I will count my blessings and my eggs . Being frugal and prone to use every last scrap of everything can have interesting consequences . Besides being way ahead of the gourmands on the fusion front , it can lead to rather spectacular results . Take my dinner last night . I had made a paella - like dish for my sister on Wednesday night , not wanting anything remotely close to turkey . I had leftover mussels , clams , clam juice and a nice piece of cod in the freezer . Perfecto ! I would make seafood chowder for dinner ! Rummaging in my vege bin , I found white and purple carrots and a half an onion . In my root cellar aka the guest room closet , I found potatoes and garlic . All set . I set about dicing and chopping and threw it all in a pan with the broth and then snuck in some knitting while it all simmered . Once the vege was tender , I tossed in the cod and shellfish and stood in wonder as it turned blue . Wow . Obviously , the purple carrots had worked their magic . I added a little milk and it turned a lovely shade of blue - lilac . This also brought back a memory of fixing dinner for my parents when I was a twenty - something . I wanted to create an elegant and memorable meal , so I made Cornish hens stuffed with rice , sultanas and pistachios . Unfortunately , I used the red pistachios and the subsequent stuffing was a lovely but shocking shade of pink . My mother was quite gracious about it . . . . This was my Thanksgiving view . We got over a foot of snow on Wednesday into Thanksgiving morning . What a treat ! ( dripping sarcasm here . . . ) My sister was driving up from Newark NJ to spend Thanksgiving with us . In a rental car . With no snow tires , shovel , flares , blankets or other winter gear . Bless her heart , she made it to within 15 miles of me , averaging 30 mph . It took almost six hours . She made it to the first hill on her long journey , and then she could go no further . An aside here , For those of you who think that our highway departments - who face winter every stinkin year , and who had been listening , I am sure , to the same dire warnings of the oncoming nor ' easter for a week prior to its arrival - would have had the roads cleared to make sure that this , the most - traveled day of THE ENTIRE YEAR , would be safe , would be wrong . Not a plow in sight . I do believe they sit in their garages waiting for the clock to strike overtime . Dastards . I digress . She and I had been in regular contact through the white - knuckle drive . We were both a wreck , but I wasn 't driving . I was cleaning surfaces - something I do when I am highly stressed . She said she was going to try to get her car off the road and was going to knock on the door of a house that was nearby with the lights on . The next call came minutes later - she had parked her car in their driveway and could I pick her up . I got the address and headed out - even with four wheel drive , the road was treacherous . I am still amazed that she made it as far as she did in one piece . Turns out she had knocked on the perfect door . The Universe had directed her to a family who is the poster - family for kindness , warmth and hospitality . Not only did they insist she park her car in their nice , shoveled driveway , but invited her in to use the bathroom , made her a cup of tea and fed her cookies . They let her leave her car overnight so that we could come get it the next morning when the roads were clear ( triple overtime guarantees clear roads ) . When we arrived to pick up her car , they had cleaned it off before they left for their own Thanksgiving trip . I tell you , the whole experience gave me a new and kinder view on humanity . Pepper loves his Aunt Cynthia and was quite crushed when I didn 't bring her back on Thursday . He has been watching the cats and has discovered a way to insert himself in your view at every level . My sister heads back today , thankfully with clear roads and nothing more than arctic temperatures . If this is an omen of winter to come , I might as well sew myself into my long johns right now . Since there 's no way I could put together a cohesive post today , I am going to subject you to more randomness . I did some research before ordering a new , small batch of laying ' hens ' . Black Langshans sounded perfect : Large , docile , dual purpose homestead birds . Ahem . Someone must have switched birds in the incubator . My Black Langshans are large , lunatic , dual purpose birds . AND four of the six were roos . I think there must be a hitch in my giddyup as far as the usual Little Lucky female mojo goes . As there is only room for one - maybe two , depending on temperament - roosters on the LLF , two of the four lunatics were destined for the freezer this past weekend . My neighbor and I have the best deal of all deals - I buy and raise them . He processes and we split the resulting meat . As Sunday was the best of the two days , I went in the coop to grab the ' volunteers ' early in the morning . It was total , utter , complete chaos . I finally managed to grab - hold of two of them and stuffed them unceremoniously into the dog crate ( cat crate being too small ) . I then went about my usual morning chores . As I was coming out of the barn with the sheep 's hay , a neighbor was driving by . He slammed on the brakes , rolled down the window and hollered , " Hey , you okay ? " I didn 't figure I looked any worse than I usually do around the farm , so said yes . I went in the house for a cup of tea and , as I leaned over the sink , blood dripped into it . Damn . The roos had gotten me right across the left cheek . A little clean - up , a schmear of triple antibiotic ointment and we were good to go . I look like a pirate . Not wanting to jinx it , I have kept the fact that my sister and BIL were buying a house two doors down from my parents pretty much to myself . I found out this weekend that the closing happened and they will move in full time in April ! Oh , my , did that produce an hour of happy dancing . That got me thinking about happy dances . Does everyone do pretty much the same thing ? My happy dance goes like this : rapid rounds of fist pumping , followed by hip - swinging , fancy footwork , some rythmic foot - stomping , and all accompanied by woohooing . What 's yours look like ? Now , the dastards . Not the first word that came to mind , but . . . . sensitive souls might be reading . I keep track of all the blogs I read through Blogger . Well , someone ( thestuffthatkeepsmeawake ) has been hijacked by a blog called craft design architecture ideas . It has flooded my reader to the point that I cannot find the blogs I want to read in all the crap . I am highly ticked off . And nowhere can I find a way to contact Blogger to let them know . Darn and dagnabit . Posted by In my neck of the woods , this is the time of year when you start to see signs up for Holiday Church Bazaars . I always get a warm , fuzzy feeling about them , but haven 't been to one since I was a squirt . We were members of a small , Episcopal church in Lorain , Ohio . My father was a layman , my mother poured coffee after the service ( always in hat and gloves - those were such different days ) . The men of the church put on the spaghetti dinner to die for , and the woman all worked their crocheted / knitted magic for the Christmas Bazaar . I thought it was the most wonderful thing in the world - all kinds of things that were in my limited budget . ( These were the times of the 50 - cents - a - week allowance . Did I just hear a Millennium hit the ground in a faint ? ? ) I was riveted by the toilet paper doll cover . I secretly longed for one but , if I recall correctly , it would have cost the equivalent of a month 's allowance . I did some of my best Christmas shopping there . I am so tempted to check out the modern day bazaar - will there be an array of toilet paper covers ? Can I still cover my Christmas shopping within my allowance ? ( Which , I 'm afraid , is almost the same as when I was six . ) Friends and family , beware . I was also in the church choir . Every week at practice , we weighed heavily on the patience of our very patient choir mistress , Mrs . Pfaff . I can still see her face as we drolly sang , " . . . and He forgetSNOT his own . . . " , titter , titter . That poor woman . Every Sunday we would pony up as the mothers hovered over us , tying our bows ( which I loathed ) and trying to keep order . I learned how to whistle in the choir . Unfortunately , it was during a particularly long pause in in the sermon . . . If I Google my blog name , it comes up on top . Right under it is a listing for E - I - E - I OMG ! 87 Hot Farmer 's Daughters . I wonder two things : How many prospective readers have I lost to that much - more - provocative title ? And : That Farmer must have been one hot ticket to have produced 87 daughters . Punctuation , folks , punctuation . . . She was wondering what fresh hell this day would bring . Her enthusiasm for winter wanes by the day . Pepper was disguised as a brown fleece lump and Scrappy was pretending to sleep so he wouldn 't have to go outside . The Cruel Food Woman ( that would be I ) shooed them out into the frigid morning , where business was carried out at a brisk pace . It feels like January . The kitchen wasn 't as warm as I would have liked it - mostly because the heat duct was blocked by a feline body . So I roasted a butternut squash . Nothing like adding heat and aroma at the same time . I managed to get all my beets canned . And all my applesauce canned . And it only took me a month . For some reason , I was not all fired - up as I usually am . I allowed the beets and apples to reside in my fridge ( taking up any available space left by the behemoth cabbages - which are still there . . . ) while I blithely ignored them . It was ridiculous . So I pulled up my BGPs and got at it on Saturday . I canned regular diced beets , then whipped up some spiced pickled beets . Then , since I was on a roll , I pulled out the apples and peeled and pared my little heart out . The sheep and llama were thrilled with the peels and cores . I tell you , the way to a llama 's heart is paved with apple peels . I will have to say , in my own defense , that I had to deal with ( and am still dealing with ) an unexpected fridge full of chard . ( BTW , the score is Me : 4 Voles : 0 - if you don 't count the bushel of beets and rows of chard they demolished . ) But , still . I mean , really . For the record , I will now be making applesauce in full hazmat . While stirring away , a molten blob of applesauce erupted out of the pot and hit me square in the eye ! Thank goodness it landed in the space right above the tear duct and not IN my eye . Geez . I had to very gingerly apply my handy - dandy aloe plant juice . It 's getting so that I 'm not safe in or out of the house ! It should come as no surprise that Pepper is not an easy subject to photograph . As soon as he knows that you want him to do something - such as sit still for two seconds - he does the opposite . I guess that is why I am so fond of dachshunds . They remind me of me . His sweater was finished early yesterday morning , just in time for the low teens of the morning . As soon as I put it on him , he spent every waking hour trying to get it off . I would come in the room to find him with the one - shoulder look , having managed to pry his flibber out of one sleeve . In order to save the sweater , I only put it on him before bed - for the double - layer effect - and to go outside . We seem to have reached détente . No matter how often I hear the weather forecast that predicts the first snow , it always takes me by surprise . It had just started falling , very gently , last night and this morning we had three inches fluffed up on the deck . Lovey has never seen snow . It only slowed her down for one nanosecond before she embraced it wholeheartedly and went romping off through the poultry yard - flinging nosefuls of it in the air . Pepper was not as impressed , to put it mildly . I had to forcibly remove him from his burrito wrapping , bed hair and all , and plop him unceremoniously on the path I had shoveled for him . He gave me a withering glance over his shoulder before stalking off down the steps . Where he left me a nice little present / bomb right in the middle of where I have to walk . Touche ! I am 99 % finished with his first sweater - having cobbled it together with odd lots from my stash . At least it is washable and not pink . I 'm saving the pink for my girl . . . ( Seeing this pic reminds me that I left the latest mouse carcass on the bird feeder - off camera to the left . Thank goodness ( haha ) it 's not going above the mid 30s today . ) I finally finished all the hatware for the little noggins . I am now ready to start on Pepper 's first sweater - I figure , given the fact that he 's about 2 . 5 inches off the ground , he will need multiple sweaters . One to wear while the others are washed and dried . It 's amazing how much fuss is involved with such a small dog . Scrappy needs : hugs , treats , hugs . So that 's easy enough . Lovey needs : hugs , treats and exercise . Ditto . Well , maybe a sweater , too . Pepper needs : a hearing aid , combing , hugs , anal gland cleaning , an extreme amount of treats , sweaters , blankets , and a whole lotta patience from his person . . . Baby bonnet ( color is a lovely blue - gray ) with apple button and embroidered flower in front for my friend , Rosie 's great - niece . Twins ' earflap hats with i - chord ties . Twins ' big sister 's alpaca pixie hat with ties . If you don 't look closely ( and if you do , well , you deserve what you see . . . : - / ) , they turned out pretty well . It 's fun to knit small things . The bonnet was particularly fun because you knit it in one piece , starting from the chin strap . And , gasp , it involved short rows ! And I wasn 't afraid ! ! All of my dogs in my adult life have also been adults - or downright oldsters . I LOVE me my oldster dogs . Now I have a youngster - Lovey - and it is such a joy . Until she shreds things . And then . Then there is Pepperoni . NOT a youngster by any stretch of the imagination at age 13 . Minus 22 teeth . But those remaining five teeth in his tiny noggin can do more damage than any puppy I 've been up against . Case in point - the Mouse Obsession Period . That period when he ripped off ( or gummed off , it was plenty soggy ) a portion of the back of the couch skirting and chewed a lamp cord to bits . He was a very lucky dog , in that it was plugged into the timer , so there was no juice with which to toast those five teeth . Bugger . I am sure it will come as no surprise to most of you that I was not inclined to replace my lamp , but to fix it . I mean , how hard could it be ? I have numerous reference books on home repairs . There is YouTube . There is How - to - whatever . I trotted off to Home Depot and bought a replacement cord . It was over six bucks ! Really ? I then sat down to deconstruct the lamp . I do have to admit that deconstructing stuff is way more fun than constructing it . I have taken things apart gleefully since I was a kid . Even the exploding golf ball didn 't dampen my obsession . A half hour later , I had managed to work my way through the lamp , using every screwdriver and wrench in my tool box . I was following the cord , hoping to find the end where I could easily ( cough ) detach the chewed cord and attach the new one . It was not easy . This was because the lamp had been made in China for the new THROWITAWAY generation of Americans . Pfft . I had to cut the cord at the screw - on - thingy part ( more tech - talk ) and then go searching around for a replacement - I was determined not to spend another cent on this project . I did finally find a replacement ( of sorts ) at my neighbor 's . He never throws anything away , thank goodness . I spent another hour , threading the new cord through the disassembled lamp , reassembling it as I went . Paging carefully through my Readers Digest Home Repair Manual ( thanks Mom and Dad ) , I was happy that the attachment looked easy . Except for the fact that my replacement cord had no definition between silver and bronze ( ground and live ) . Sigh . I looked at the package . Made in China . I took a technical leap ( eeny , meeny , miney , moe . . . . ) and connected them . Then I screwed in the bulb and plugged it in . It lit ! So I finished my Jerry - rigged job and put the shade on and plugged it in . It did NOT turn on . I put it in the guest room to haul out for another day when I was feeling smarter . . . . . Sometimes , being gluten free is not onerous . Such as when I discovered these Blueberry Millet Muffins . I used the last of the 2013 blueberries , the last two of my own eggs , my own raw milk yogurt and my new favorite grain : millet . Or birdseed , as my neighbor pointed out . These were the leftover batter muffins - it made about a dozen and a half , but these are large - and a chance to use an impulse purchase ( fancy paper muffin cups ) . For the rest , I used my can 't - live - without silicone muffin cups . I love them - easy to use , easy to clean , nothing heads to the landfill . You can find the recipe here . I used frozen blueberries , so my muffins have a lovely , sort of indigo undertone . And indigo is my favorite color - next to any shade of green . At first I thought having the raw millet interspersed in the muffin would be . . . odd . But I found that they lend a nice , satisfying , toothsome crunch . ( I love that word - toothsome - something that Pepper can only dream about . I would think that " gumsome " would be more appropriate in his case . ) Yesterday I spent driving my parents around . My mother had her eye treatment for macular degeneration in the city , so we have a tradition ( my family is BIG on traditions ) of going to eat at their favorite Chinese restaurant , ordering the same thing for lunch each time , then off to the medical center we go . Unfortunately , we are always WAY early . This means the wait is longer than the usual long wait . There is nothing that tries the patience ( of me ) more than to sit for over an hour with two people who look at their watches and comment about the wait every five seconds . I brought knitting to create some Zen vibes for me . Speaking of which , I have now completed all of the small - fry knitting with the exception of some embroidery work on the bonnet . I will take a pic of what I have not already mailed . And I am hoping that the recipients will turn a kind eye on the imperfections ( . . . . Wes . . . . xoxo ) . I also squeezed in a much - needed haircut before picking up my parents . And listened to the horrific account of her battle with a psycho husband over custody of their sons . Good , goD . The man is pure evil . It made me appreciate even more , coming home to my dogs and cats . At least there is no evil involved there , just the occasional cause - me - to - lose - my - mind thing . Which , lately , has Pepper 's little paw mark on it . A few minutes after I got home ( dark at 5 : 15 ) , I got a call about joining friends at a book signing / reading in a nearby town . Had I not been gone all day , I would have considered it , but I will not leave the dogs alone that long . Plus , it was not an author who would make me consider an exception , as I find him to be one of those whiny types . I almost reconsidered when I learned that he was bringing his dog , however . You can see where my priorities lie . The weekend holds a crummy weather forecast , lots of outside chores ( funny how the two seem to always go together . . . ) , dinner with my parents at their favorite restaurant , a long over - due Girls ' Night get together ( I 'm bringing Pink Lemonade Vodka Jello Shots - I 'm bad . . . ) , a hay delivery ( hallelujah - let 's hope it happens ) , and I finally tackle the beets . Speaking of which - do any of you have suggestions on how to tackle a vole problem ? I have tried a few things , to no avail . I am considering poisoning the buggers , but am leery about poison in the garden , even though it will be used sparingly and in tunnels , and a full six months before planting season . I figure there is a wealth of knowledge and experience out there . . . . Before there is any of the " thank goodness for winter now I can sit and do all those fun things I 've been dreaming of since the onset of spring " stuff , there is Autumn . I think that , although it IS my favoritest season of all , Fall is the most stressful of them all . The day shrinks , the weather stinks ( hey ! I 'm a poet and don 't know it ! But my feet show it - they 's longfellows . . . heehee ) things ramp up at the office , and the Universe picks up on my angst and whaps me . If I let my guard down even for a teensy , weensy second , I pay for it . Case in point : As soon as August nears it 's end , I start to winterize my car . This involves strewing peppermint - infused cloth bits from head to tail light . Mice look for winter lodgings early , I have found . I did not do this . So . . . one crawled up into somewhere ( most likely involving the heating unit ) and died . It has taken weeks to get to the point where I don 't have to drive with my windows down while breathing through my mouth . I did discover a nice , cozy mouse nest in the spare tire well . I over - pepperminted and now have to crack the windows so my nose doesn 't burn . The chickens are winterized because they have not laid ONE SINGLE EGG in over 13 days . I figured a light in the coop might help . And while I was lighting their residence , I decided to hook up their waterer heater . And put more shavings inside . And feed them more . Ingrates . Next up are the sheep and llama - by - default . I spent yesterday afternoon cleaning out the hay storage part of their barn and setting up a higher barrier so that Apria cannot get her three teeth on a hay bale and haul it down so they can all gorge ( and get squashed in the process ) . My attempts were met by eight hairy eyeballs and only time will tell if it will work . It was good to get things organized , though , and the set up is much better . I should be getting a load of hay next Saturday - we are ready ! The cover over my fuel oil tank needs replacing . The sheep need more space for winter , which entails emptying and moving the double composter , removing the sheathing from that side of the barn , framing out another 10x8 foot space and getting it enclosed . I need to finish cleaning out the garden . I need to clean up the peonies , bee balm and hostas . I need a new snow shovel . I need to move the sheep feeder through three paddocks , all uphill . I need another three months and someone else 's bank account . Since this is the season of stocking up and I am not one to be able to walk away from a bargain , no matter how insane it might be , I had stopped a a local farm and was getting some winter squash since I had none ( and none of my neighbors had any , either ) , when I happened to see a sign for 50 # of small cull winter potatoes for $ 12 . With a free pie pumpkin thrown in . Did I need 50 # of potatoes ? Why even ask . They were in the back of my car before you could say " Bob 's my uncle " . I portioned them out amongst friends and then took about 20 pounds to a food pantry just south of me . It was such an educational visit . The people sitting in the church kitchen waiting for their bags to be put together were exhausted . Exhausted from poverty ; exhausted from life . I realized that I live in an area where people are very lucky if they can find employment or , even better , get out of Dodge and find more opportunities for a better life . I am darn lucky to have the wherewithal to grow my own food or , for that matter , to be able to own a car to drive to somewhere and buy local . As you know , I am very big on buying / eating local . I figured it was high time to put my money where my mouth is , so I drove back up to the farm and got another 50 # of potatoes . It 's the best I can do because , as anyone who knows me will tell you , I have way more mouth than money . . . . I finally got my act together and took a quick snap of three of the 7 ( 8 ? ) skeins I got from my DS , Melanie . Her business is called " Dyenamics Yarn " and it is all hand - dyed . In the MOST luscious colors . I am very lucky in that I can text her and ask when the yarn store is open . Then I zip over and fall upon the tubs of glorious colors . I am hoping that , by opening nagging her , I will move her along towards getting her Etsy shop up so that everyone can partake of this yarny goodness . These skeins are all superwash merino . She also has lovely natural wool from her Shetland sheep , some beautiful white Cormo yarn ( worsted ? ) and tons of wonderful self - striping sock yarn . L to R - Starry Starry Night , Ivy and Iris Since I am trying to be disciplined ( never an easy task ) and check off at least one item a day from the dreaded List , I will try to take a pic of my pile ' o knitting projects . before I send them all off . Three went out in the post last week and I am hoping to get the last two mailings out this next week . I have a mighty Chilly Dog waiting for his sweater . . . . Hoo boy , do I ! This weekend proved a disaster to my pre - winter outside prep work , thanks to cold drizzle or downright rain all weekend . I did manage to knock a few things off the list , but very few . Instead , I focused on inside work . As I was out of granola again , that moved to the top of my list . And , in the process , I managed to sort through , rearrange , toss out , and organize my dried stuff . I found a small jar of dried strawberries and tons of dried apples . Into the granola they went . The quirky part of all this blah - blah - blah , is that I hate mixing the granola . HATE it . Because the only way I can make it the way I like it ( with clumpy little bits of peanut butter ) , is to mix it with my hands . I suffer from some kind of hand - phobia - thingy . If I have to mix anything with my hands that may stick to my hands , I end up - after about one minute - running to the sink , holding my hands up , crying " ACK ! ACK ! ACK ! " or something similar . I cannot wait to get whatever it is off my hands . You can imagine how long it takes me to mix up a meatloaf . It 's weird . But , what is even weirder is that I discovered that I do not have the same reaction if I only mix whatever with one hand . If one hand stays coating - free , I am fine . Call the " head " doctor ! Mostly yesterday , though , I played hooky from my list and I knitted . And knitted . I have , so far , finished two pixie hats , a baby bonnet , a pair of fingerless mitts , and am zeroing in on another tot hat with earflaps and ties . To go - another bonnet and another earflap hat . I am a knitting fool . This is abetted by my new stash of my favorite yarn - " Dye - namics " - from my DS Melanie ! I am going to take a picture of the remaining skeins and post them - her colorways are wonderful and she has the most wonderful sock - weight yarn that is between sport and fingering . My mother ( 91 and still an avid sock - knitter ) will only knit with Melanie 's yarn . I was very excited to hear that she is ( finally ) putting up an Etsy site . Which I will plug mercilessly because A ) she is my DS and I love her ; B ) her yarn is the BEST ; and C ) her colors and self - stripers are amazing . And it 's all hand - dyed and reasonably priced . Who could ask for more ? No one . I awoke yesterday morning without a voice . This shouldn 't be much of a problem , except for my Alvin and the Chipmunks routine . The dogs stared in disbelief when I let out my breathy squeaks . Then they ignored me . I took a sick day and managed to slog around , downing cups of sick tea , Emergen - C , and water . I also managed to finish knitting a toddler pixie hat , planted my winter peas , albeit not as many as I had hoped , since I pooped out quickly , and dry canned beans . That last little item is such a lifesaver ! I had thought that I had to pre - soak the beans before I canned them and never remembered to . Then my friend Jane from the late and lamented blog , Hard Work Homestead , clued me in . These little pints of beans will be so useful ! I woke up this morning with a little more basso in my breathy squeak , but whatever reserves I had were used up within the first hour at work . I am back to silence . The dogs are still happy . Especially Pepper , who now feels he has a reason for not responding . . . . Another sad state of affairs is the total lack of basic living skills had by many young people . The young fellow with whom I work draggled in to show me his new winter coat ( made in China ) that he had purchased five days ago . The buttons were already working themselves loose . And he had no idea how to fix them . None . Nor , apparently , did his girlfriend . Sigh . I battened them down and told him that I was going to make him ( and his girlfriend ) a sewing kit and would teach him how to use it . I mean . . . . really . Now that the days contain three hours of light . . . our morning constitutional is taken in the very early dawn . Lovey is not fond of the darkish . We totter down the steps from the front deck to the path , scattering rabbits in every direction . Scrappy is not interested in wildlife . Lovey is too spooked to care and I have a firm grip on " Killer 's " leash . All 10 lbs of him . The road is nice and quiet and the sheep - for a change - just stare at us without bleating . Our first encounter this morning involved a good - sized black and white ' kitty ' . Not . Pepe le Pew was about 30 feet in front of us , waddling across the road . Knowing that I did not have to fear some lunacy from Scrappy or Lovey , I scooped up " Jaws " and waited politely until PleP was well out of sight . Down went " Snapper " and off we went , Lovey glued to my ankles . The rest of the walk was uneventful , until we turned to head back home . A very , very large coyote came out of the field and stopped in the middle of the road and stared at us . Once again , I scooped up the " Morsel on a Leash " , this time with Lovey AND Scrappy stuck to my side , and waited politely . For a long time . I swear he was waiting for me to blink . I didn 't . He finally ambled across the road and up the hill into the woods . We waited for another long moment before we started off . I did not put the morsel down until we were on our driveway . It 's a good thing to have - a questioning mind . It 's better if the mind asks important questions like , " What is the meaning of life ? " , rather than , " Who are the idiots who designed this poultry waterer ? ! ? " I am sure I 'm not alone when I wonder if any of the nimrods involved in the design of poultry waterers ever had to clean one . I sincerely doubt it . My mind asked many questions this weekend . Towit : " If I have three pieces of applesauce cake and then go clean the chicken coop , will the intake of calories / expending of calories be a draw ? " Or , " If I give Lovey a piece of rawhide , will she be distracted enough to leave the applesauce cake alone ? " Or , " Why do dogs eat rabbit poop ? " I had a busy and productive weekend - Saturday threw me a few curve balls but , I am nothing if not flexible . I was going to hang out two loads of laundry , pick apples early in the morning , then circle back , get feed , drive to VT , drop off two bags at Goodwill , pick up scratch feed ( another ploy in my so far unsuccessful attempt to motivate the hens back into laying eggs - sluggards ) , get cheap gas , visit with my parents , pick up eggs ( the shame of it ) and my weekly pumpkin from a farm stand on my way home , then start on my to - do list . I did it all but the apple - picking . As I headed south to the apple farm , it started to rain ( so much for the early start on my laundry ) . I got feed , and headed north to VT . After lunch with my parents , I headed over to an apple farm on the NY / VT border and picked up a couple bags of utility apples , then headed south towards home . As luck would have it , the farmer was at his farm stand - I have been wanting to meet him for months . I was sure he was in his 90s , but he is in his 70s . Farming is a hard way to make a living . Delightful man - we had a lively talk about cows , dairy farms , taxes ( inevitable , if you live in the Vampire State of NY ) , land values , neighbors , chickens , the good old days . I got a dozen eggs and a lovely pumpkin ( for $ 1 ) and his promise that I could have all the pumpkins he didn 't sell for my sheep . Dave and I are now on a first - name basis . I have found that the best way to get anything done after a morning like that , is to keep moving . No sitting allowed ! I took the dogs out for a romp , then headed toward the garden . * * Aside - I am starting to remind myself of Dave from Alvin and the Chipmunks . I let the dogs out , they run around and do their business , Lovey and Scrappy trot back . Where 's Pepper ? " Pepper . " " Pepper ! " " PEPPER ! ! " " PEPPER ! ! ! ! ! " He walks back at a maddeningly slow pace , avoiding eye contact , " oKAY ! " I made a millet and broccoli bake that was good , albeit too salty . I need to heed my instincts - I thought there was too much in the recipe , but followed it blindly through . I marked it for next time . It was tasty - cooked millet , roasted broccoli , a cheddar cheese sauce , and more cheese . Sunday , I got up , made the aforementioned applesauce cake - my favorite GF baked good - walked the dogs , did more laundry , and went back outside . I got the poultry yard cleaned up , cleaned the chicken coop , raked the sheep yard , did some manure - moving , did more garden clean up and planted my garlic . I also cleaned my Berkey filters ( six months late on that job ) and did some housecleaning . I had invited my neighbor over for dinner on purpose . I realize that , if I do not have a reason to stop , I will work twelve hours straight . This is not what I want to do on a Sunday . So I worked until four , did my evening chores early , and made an inventive meatloaf . This entails poking around in the freezer and fridge , looking for things that need using , and that could possible disappear nicely into a wad of cooked meat . I ended up using a pound of grassfed ground beef , a half pound of breakfast sausage , the rest of some thawed garlic scape pesto , GF bread crumbs , a precious egg , and I basted it with homemade chili sauce . It was a success ! I was also going to try olive oil , herb mashed potatoes , in my efforts to diet , but was too knackered by then . I used my own Kennebecs , homemade raw milk yogurt , an assortment of fresh herbs that haven 't been frozen in my garden , and my homemade butter . For a vege , I sliced Brussels sprouts very thinly , sauteed some of my thinly sliced onions in bacon fat , and then stirred the sprouts in and slowly cooked it until semi - roasted . The nice thing about older neighbors is that they are all for leaving early . . . . This is my favorite tree . It positively glows red - like a huge , brief flare . I have been working on getting the garden and outside ready for winter . This entails checking off my extensive list . Having learned from ( many ) mistakes over the years , I keep a master list in a notebook and check it off each fall . Too many things have fallen through the cracks when I attempt to re - make the list each year . Every year I try to add one thing to make winter easier . Things like heated water buckets , outside lighting and . . . the garage . I still get all giddy about it . It may not be much , but it is going to make my wintertime life easier . I will be able to store my wheelbarrows and Snow Wolf in it . I will not have to scrap an inch of ice off my windows . I will be easier to live with . While I am secretly relieved that tomato season has come and gone , I actively excited about what has to be my favorite vege season - autumn ! I L . O . V . E . squash , broccoli , Brussels sprouts , turnips , rutabagas , parsnips , carrots - you get the drift . I especially love roasted vege and , most especially , Brussels sprouts . My BFF Sylvie makes the best roast vegetables ever . EVER . I can take the same vegetables , in the same pan , at the same temperature , for the same amount of time and mine are not as good . She is the vegetable whisperer . That does not stop me , however . I roast vegetables at the drop of a hat . Especially now that the heat from the oven is a welcomed addition to my chilly house . I suppose I must throw in the towel and admit that summer is - sigh - over . It was a crisp 30 * this morning and the frost was on the pumpkins . And the popcorn . And the deck . I had left Pepper sound asleep on the chair - and - a - half , swaddled in a towel , snoring away , when I went to bed . At 2A , I was jolted out of sleep by pitiful wailing and scratchings at my bedroom door . I opened it , looked down , and there was the pitiful black and tan mop , shivering and looking up mournfully . Then he bolted through the door and flung himself at my bed . I snuggled him between pillows and down comforter and he was out . I took pity on him and let him sleep as long as he wanted - he lasted until 7 ! Not a morning dog . When I got up for good , I went into the living room to find Lovey trying to crawl under Scrappy . I rummaged around and found Bernie 's fleece coat ( which she abhorred ) and put it on Lovey . After she decided that it was not going to attack and consumer her , she decided it was very nice . I built a fire in the fireplace , made a cuppa and sat down with my knitting . wonderful . After working myself into a frenzy to get everything ready ( and cleaner ) for my sister and parents , I set off for South Portland , Maine , early Friday morning . I could not have asked for better weather . In fact , I could say that Friday , Saturday and Sunday were the nicest weather in quite a long time . Obviously , the stars and Universe aligned and took pity on me . Kidding . Wardrobe Infusion - I packed very light , knowing that we would be heading to the local Goodwill almost upon my arrival . I was not disappointed , thanks to the almost supernatural talents toward winnowing out the best of the best by Sylvie . I now have new khakis and five new tops . That does not include the lovely scarf , jeans and shirts that I inherited from Sylvie 's personal winnowing . AND it does not include the great long sleeved tees that I got at my favorite discount , Maine - only department store - Reny 's . I LOVE Reny 's . My daily ( almost ) dose of Dog . Hard to believe he is cuter in person . A sweet - natured , adorable cuddler . Cosmos is the adopted dog of Sylvie 's daughter , Julie and family . Lucky dog . Lucky family . A better match couldn 't have been made in , well , the Cosmos ! After a very emotional weekend , I finally woke up this morning without , " is it all worth it ? " being the first thing on my mind . I have concluded that , yes , it is all worth it . Good times , bad times , sad times . Sunday , I tried the " if I start working on stuff and keep working on stuff and don 't quit until I am half - comatose , maybe I will sleep " approach . I have to admit , I did , indeed , sleep Sunday night . But I was so exhausted that I had a hangover feeling on Monday that didn 't ( drat ) have anything to do with the aftermath ( and enjoyment ) of adult beverages . In any event , I got my garage up ( with massive amounts of help from my neighbor ) . That 's right ! Whee - haw ! Good old Kyle has a snug bunk for the winter . And , for the first time in weeks , I did not have to wipe down all the windows on my car in the morning . We have been having warmish days and frigid nights , the combination of which coats all exposed surfaces with heavy dew . I will try to remember to take a picture of Garagie - providing I still have working brain cells enough to remember . On Sunday , I roasted a half bushel of Italian peppers ( medium hot ) , peeled them - cursing mightily - and canned them this morning . I cut and froze another bunch of sweet peppers and stuffed them in the freezer . I roasted a chicken in my friend , Lisa 's clay roaster . I baked a plum crumble . I baked for the barn and went to spend some quality time with Jasmine and Alice . I got caught up on the local gossip . I worked in the garden . I dug a hole and tucked Cookie and his BFF Woody 's cremains securely in . I piled a million rocks on it . It 's a challenge , hole - digging . It took a shovel , pick ax , post hole digger , and steel rod , not to mention finally getting down on my knees and digging with my hands . It took over an hour . But , it was cathartic . Now I have to focus on cleaning the house and getting everything ready for the arrival of my house sitter . My DS Cynthia is coming for a long weekend to look after things , freeing me to travel to South Portland to visit my BFF Sylvia . It 's a short trip , but oh - so needed . It 's been a long week , filled with mostly lows . Not that we didn 't fight hard for some highs . Sleep has eluded me most nights this week , as I am listening so intently for any sound from the sick room . This has led to an odd shift in my schedule . Yesterday , I was back up to the vet early in the morning . A new course of meds were prescribed and we returned hopeful . They did not help , however . As these new meds had to be given mid - day , I took a mental health day and spent it intermittently checking on Cookie and ripping things out of my garden . There is something so cathartic about ripping out dying tomato plants , especially when you 're thinking about ripping the liver out of the Universe . Nice visual , no ? The dogs and cats have been clinging to me like various sized - strips of Velcro . I don 't know how many times I almost squashed Pepper . They know something is amiss . When I was done cleaning out the garden , I turned my wrath on my bags of broccoli and froze most of it . Then I whirled around and ripped out noxious weeds in the sheep pasture . Then I raked grass seed in with fury and muscled the lemon and fig trees inside ( temps in the low 30 * s forecast for this morning ) . I was exhausted but , I didn 't want to sleep . I assume this was because I thought that I could conjure up some miracle by sheer fortitude . Well , I couldn 't . At midnight , when I awoke the first time , I got up , bundled up , snapped on my headlamp and moved the youngster chickens to their halfway house . One would think , being chickens , that they would be all loggy and limp . Not . These are the screaming and fainting variety , no matter what the description of the breed said . But they are moved . Then I came in and went back to bed and to sleep . Until 2 . Then I forced myself to sleep and was sorry I did . Two and a half hours of diabolical dreams had me willing myself awake at 4 : 30 . I made the call to the vet this morning . Cookie has not eaten anything since Monday . He can 't keep anything down . He is like an 85 year old man with extreme anemia . We had a talk this morning , Cookie and I . I explained everything as best I could and he didn 't seem to complain . I will sure miss my Pollyanna Man . A beautiful , loving and endlessly cheerful guy . This morning started off with Cookie , my large sweetie - pie 14 y / o cat , projectile vomiting blood . It was scary . I managed to get the basic chores done , called my vet , rolled Cookie in a towel like a burrito and slipped him into his carrier . Then shot off to the vet 's office a half hour away . The vet just called me to tell me that he is one sick boy . No surprise there . But what was a complete surprise was the cause - he has , in layman 's terms , the equivalent of cat malaria . And a very serious case of it . Malaria ? Really ? He is an indoor only cat - as are all three . Even more odd is that my vet has seen two other cases besides Cookie . Which is alarming , in that I have two other cats . Although he said it has not been a ' familial ' occurence in the other cases , there is that big target on my back . My weekend goal was to finish the tomatoes . Finito . Over and out . As I hefted the last of the diced tomatoes out of the canner , I did a happy dance . Now the real challenge - going through the stock and sorting out the old from the new , the never - will - be - touched , from the eat - all - the - time . I am gearing up for a challenge - to not set foot in a grocery store for a year . To not buy anything but coffee , oil and grains for a year . I imagine meals will get pretty interesting in the latter months of ' 15 . It turned out to be a perfect fall weekend . Saturday was mostly rainy - fine for indoor work ( of which there was plenty ) . I picked up feed and stopped to walk with a couple of friends just before the rains started . I did not do my overload of cooking this weekend , deciding to work on emptying the bushel baskets that were haunting me . I did manage to check off a few of the to - dos on my list - clean out the small coop , laundry , clean the cat 's room , vacuum . While turning the sheep out into their weekend paddock , I happened to look to the far corner of the front fence . That darned Linden . I finally found where he had broken out - he took down the corner t - post , brace and reinforcement and squeezed his tubby body under the fence . They were in confinement the rest of the weekend - and until further notice . Until I get the time to repair the fence , that is . As I sat down with a glass of kombucha , enjoying the end of the canning , my dog alarm went off and a friend stopped by with a large bag of plums . Sigh . As soon as the cherry tomatoes are out of the dehydrator , looks like plums are next up . I still have to deal with the plethora of beets , kale , chard and my winter supply of applesauce . Oh , right . And the peppers . Looks like I better keep the canner out . The last of the chili peppers went into the Excalibur this morning , with one tray of jalapenos . I have about three more trays - worth and the hot peppers are done . Since the guest room / root cellar is also my drying room , I had to move the potatoes , garlic and curtido to a cooler spot . I decided to try it - it 's been fermenting for a couple of weeks . It still had a nice crunch , so I capped up the smaller jar and put it in the fridge . It is a spicy sauerkraut type condiment . I really like it and can sit it paired with all kinds of things . The larger jar will continue to ferment for another week or so both for more probiotic content and because I have no room in the fridge ! Posted by While that could have been me about a hundred years ago , today it refers to my most recent kitchen - work . Dehydrating hot peppers . Thanks to the bounty of Moses Farm ( those Moses of the Grandma Moses Moses . . . ) , I had a nice pile of various hot peppers to dry . I love , love , love spicy food - although it doesn 't like me as much as it used to . Even so , I still try to spice things up as much as I can take . This usually means a violent coughing / choking jag at the onset , then my system settles down and I can carry on . These beautiful chili peppers are destined to be dried and ground : Shortly after this was taken , I had to go to the back of the house . In that short time span , Lovey - she who has decided to surf the counters - carted off a line of them into the living room . I do believe she only got one tooth in one pepper before there was some serious and lengthy slurping of the water dish . Good thing she didn 't try to taste test the habaneros . . . Besides all the tomato processing , I am going to take advantage of the lovely peppers ( non - hot ) and make up a few batches of a great vegetarian stuffed pepper recipe . Following the lead of my hero , Mama Pea , I am going to freeze up a number of future dinners . Bring on winter ! ( Kidding . It can just take it 's good old time and arrive in January . . . . ) You won 't be hearing a lot from me the next week or so . I am canning my hiney off and trying to keep up with the endless list of to - dos outside . I thought I would give you a quick update so you didn 't think I had fallen off the edge of the earth . My tomatoes were very " meh " this year . Since I have access to a cornucopia of tomatoes and peppers at the farm field , I think I may restrict my tomato - growing to a couple of cherries and an heirloom or two . ( Would someone volunteer to remind me in the Spring ? Before the seed catalogues arrive ? ) My peppers are taking an ICE AGE to ripen , thanks to the weird weather this summer . After going through a week of high , humid temps , we are now in the 40s in the morning . My peppers are confused . I have to yank the cucumbers this weekend - I am so over them . Thanks to very little rain , my beloved popcorn is starting to topple - I am watering them morning and night now . I kept waiting for Ma Nature to step in . Fickle wench . The small coop needs cleaning out this weekend , so that I can get it ready for the Screaming Meemies - also known as the Langshans . I have never , in my poultry raising history , had such a hysterical bunch . This should be fun . The enclosure needs to be replaced , but there is no time on my schedule for the next few months to do it , so it 's been relegated to next year . We will all have to manage . I am dehydrating peppers and canning various tomato products on a daily basis . I think I may follow my friend , Fiona 's lead and start dehydrating tomatoes with snipped basil on top . What a great snack idea ! Also on the list of to - dos is to sort through my canning stock to see what needs using up . My great plan to catalogue my canned goods was derailed this past winter by . . . . who knows . . . . so I am paying for it now . Work has been exceptionally stressful these past two weeks . It 's a reporting period , which is bad enough , but now that I am a Team Of One , all the rest of the duties are keeping me hopping . The good thing is that it makes the day go fast . The bad thing is that it means I am quickly depleting my wine supply . . . I went out last night to feed the sheep and , lo and behold , Linden was on the wrong side of the fence . The gate was intact , there were no holes , lifts , pushdowns or other breaches of the fence line . The only thing I could figure was that he managed to squeeze his ' fluffy ' self through the bungee 'd gate and pop out the other side . He has always been my problem child . I had to trot quickly into the barn and get a scoop of grain to lure him back in . He must have been out for a while , as he was pretty darn thirsty . I have now ( I hope ) Lindenized the gate . Following an overwhelming urge at 50 - something , I started homesteading on a small place in upstate New York . I support this venture / lunacy with a full time job an hour 's commute away . My life is never boring . All images and text are property of ' e - i - e - i - omg ! ' and may not be used without permission . Picture Window theme . Theme images by konradlew . Powered by Blogger .
|
I have been trying to get help from his Dr . since he was 2 years old but they keep telling me . . . its a phase , he will grow out of it . Every year now ( he is almost 9 ) I bring up my son 's behavioral issues with them , and every time they advise me to modify our discipline at home and hopefully that will modify his behavior . Well . . I have had it . I am done doing as they say since it is not working . . . I am going to advocate for my son , but I need some help . I am almost certain he , if I can get someone to listen , will be diagnosed with ODD . Absolutely every word that I have read about it pertains to my son . . every word ! We always joked that he would make a good attorney or because he will argue with you until you give in and agree with him ! What was cute at 2 and 3 years old is not so cute now that he is almost 9 years old . I never once imagined that there was a < u > reason < / u > for all of the arguments ! My son , as an infant had Complex Partial Seizures of which he outgrew by 1 - 1 / 2 years old . By age 3 was diagnosed with a speech delay and received therapy until he entered the 1st grade . It was about this age , we knew something was wrong . He was incredibly compulsive in his behavior . He would run around the house in circles for absolutely no reason . We felt for sure we were on our way to an ADHD diagnosis . This behavior stopped when he had his tonsils and adenoids out after being cronically sick for the first 3 yeras of his life . ( they had treated him for allergies until they tested him at 3 years old and found he was not allergic to anything and sent us to ENT ) He is basically a model student at school now ( 3rd grade ) , but this year started to become forgetful with his homework . At home or anywhere else , he is a completely different child . He is and has been an extremely picky eater and will be so defiant about not eating ANYTHING that he would rather go to bed without dinner and throw up the next morning due to an empty stomach than settle for what is on his plate . He has never eaten a piece of fruit , a vegetable and only eats a few meats . Again . . the pediatricans always said . . kids go through phases with foods . . . yeah right , maybe that could fly when he was 2 , not at almost 9 ! He is so rigid in everything in his life , right up to what he eats for lunch . He has eaten a peanut butter and honey sandwich EVERY DAY for 3 YEARS for lunch . That amazes just about everyone I have told haha ! As for behavior . . . he has walked out of restaurants by himself because he doesn 't want to eat there . He cries and gets angry when we say we have to go to the store or are going out to eat ( God forbid it be a fast food place ! . . huh ? ) He will argue with neighbors , family , parents , and even his friends until no one wants to talk to him anymore . It is very sad , but what is one to do . . I certainly can not blame his friends for not wanting to play with a perpetual grump who always has to have his way ! He has destroyed property of my neighbor andHere is where I need some advice . Besides the 4 pages of notes I have taken on examples of behavior , past medical issues I feel may be related somehow ( seizures / speech delay / mild sound sensitivity to 6 years old ) , what exactly should I have in my arsenol to get these Doctors to FINALLY pay attention that this child needs some help and stop blaming the parents for what he is going through ! Incidentally . . . when I called my husband 's EAP ( employee assistance program ) through his work to find out if I needed a referral through them to talk to a therapist , the licenced clinician asked me to tell her what was the problem . Since I only wanted to really know if I needed a referral , I only gave a VERY brief overview of what was going on . She immediately felt it was something we were doing at home , since he was not acting this way at school ; and that maybe my husband and I needed to talk with a therapist to devise a plan of discipline at home that is similar to what is at school since what they are doing seems to be working for him . Geesh ! Talk about a major blow to your confidence in the Assistance field . Thank you for reading everything I had to post . . . I am terribly sorry this became so long . I look forward to any and all advice . The motion stuff , food aversions and sound sensitivies sound like they might be a result of something called Sensory Integation Dysfunction ( also called Sensory Processing Disorder ) . It 's easily missed by doctors and very frustrating for parents until they start understanding the reasons behind the behaviors . My son had very strong aversions to foods and food odors when he was in sensory overload . The rest of the time he 's just a very picky eater that doesn 't touch fruits , veggies or meats beyond chicken nuggets at the Golden Arches . Until you get a handle on what 's going on here , I suggest you back off on the food issues . This is a very real problem which I can best liken to that feeling of automatic repulsion that a pregnant woman might have to certain foods . Imagine living with that all the time , only with most foods . That 's what it 's like . This is a link to an article on how to go about getting the referral from your pediatrician . Even if Autism Spectrum Disorders ( ASD ) doesn 't ring a bell the same principles hold for other disorders . I think the article specifies a developmental pediatrician - - that 's a great option but there 's a shortage in that specialty area meaning some waiting lists of upwards of a year in some areas of the country . A pediatric neuropsychologist would be another option . PS . If your pediatrician has been blowing off your concerns for 7 years , it 's well past time to find a new one . Mine took me seriously at my first suggestion that something wasn 't right and we were sitting in the office of a reputable diagnostician 3 months later . good morning , rachel . first you should remove your last name from your post . this is to maintain your privacy & that of your family . i completely agree with - srl . time to get a new pediatrician . this guy hasn 't been listening to you for a heck of a long time . time to move on . call your insurance company & ask for a list of peds on your approved list then start researching them . it 's great that you 've kept a record of your child 's behaviors & difficulties . a really great way to get them organized & probably add vital information is to put it in the form of a Parent Report : http : / / www . conductdisorders . com / community / threads / parent - report - updated . 225 / . once you get the PR all organized save it to a disc for updating . . . add every evaluation , report , medication change , etc . in addition to the date , keep a paper file in a three ring binder & print out each new piece of information . trust me , you 'll find this very helpful . if you go to the home page of the site you should be able to access information on the various disorders we talk about here . take a close look at family history & hopefully it will give you some direction to where to look . the books that have already been recommended are excellent . i would also recommend you get a copy of THE EXPLOSIVE CHILD by ross greene to help with - the behavior problems at home . I agree with all the previous posters . It is past time to get a new pediatrician . You gut has been telling your for years that your son has more than " parenting issues " . Follow your gut . It 's a little late to start a parent report , but follow those links and get one prepared for the next doctor or the next visit . The fact that you have written some stuff down is important . Stick to your guns and don 't let anyone tell you it is parenting . Your difficult child has some sensory issues , among some other stuff , that need addressing . Stay strong . 1 ) SRL 's recommended reading list - she 'd good , darned good . I recommend that BEFORE YOUR APPOINTMENT TOMORROW , you and your husband sit and do the online Pervasive Developmental Disorder ( PDD ) questionnaire . Whatever the result , print it out and take the printout with you tomorrow . It 's not officially diagnostic but a specialist can use what you have found and maybe change his thinking , if so far he hasn 't helped . 2 ) The failure of the doctor to help - it means that these methods CAN ' T help difficult child right now . He has stronger needs to NOT eat certain foods , including phobias and sensory integration issues , most likely . Restaurants - same problem . How can HE know what the restaurants have put in their food ? My younger son is very much like this . With him , it 's anything with a creamy texture - he will gag on it . Some kids will ONLY eat pureed foods . difficult child 3 , by contrast , very quickly moved on to lumpy " grown - up " food and away from anything smooth and creamy . Eating out - we have similar problems . At home - he will only eat food I 've cooked , not anyone else , because each cook has their own slight variation . He will eat bottled pasta sauce , but only one particular brand and only one variety . 3 ) The neighbour - I know that game the kids were playing . I hate it . it 's bad , it 's dangerous and kids often just don 't realise the danger . It 's HIGHLY likely , almost a certainty , that your son has seen other kids playing this game and apparently having fun . He was trying to share this new game with his neighbour friends and their father came and spoiled it all . The game can 't be dangerous , in his mind - he sees other kids play it all the time ! ( I suspect it 's probably classmates , who are all about the same age and size - less danger then , less likelihood of the kids underneath not coping with it . ) You will find it difficult to explain to your son that this is a dangerous game , because the evidence of his own experience tells him otherwise . I suspect he 's never been underneath one of these ' stacks ' . [ An aside - our church youth group kids were doing this regularly - they would yell , " Stacks on ! " and then pile on top of some unfortunate individual on the bottom of the heap . Sometimes there would be five or more kids / young adults , piled high . I got really angry / desperate one evening and physically hauled them up and told them to cut it out , it was dangerous . Other parents who were there got angry with me for daring to correct their kids ( when they do it to mine all the time ) and for breaking up what they said was a harmless game . But the kids who end up on the bottom of the heap are in real danger , not only of being suffocated but of broken bones . ] 4 ) You may need a new pediatrician . I agree with kris . But you have this appointment tomorrow , you may as well go . See what he says about the Pervasive Developmental Disorder ( PDD ) questionnaire . When you do the questionnaire , you will understand what I mean . 5 ) " The Explosive Child " by Ross Greene is a HUGE help . I think it will help you a great deal , even just the opening chapter ( which can be found online , on Ross Greene 's website ) . Also , if you check out Early Childhood there is some really helpful discussion there which should give you a preview of how the book can help . 6 ) His behaviour 's OK at school - interesting . What is different about school and home ? I 'm NOT saying that you need to change your parenting style and all will be well ( because it won 't - this needs more ) but they are doing SOMETHING right ( by chance , I suspect ) . A hint - we go to school to learn . If SRL 's and my theory is correct , you have an exceptionally bright child who is starving for stimulation , mostly academic stimulation . He may be only mild with his Pervasive Developmental Disorder ( PDD ) ( if he HAS Pervasive Developmental Disorder ( PDD ) ) but still having enough problems with sensory integration , social stuff etc to make it difficult for him . But he knows he has to ' hold it together ' at school . School is routine . It is ordered , predictable , it has clear patterns to the day . And he 's awake and refreshed in the mornings , compared to when he gets home . Kids like ours will try to hold it together at school but by the time they get home they ' let go ' and relax , often with catastrophic results on the rest of us . It 's not uncommon for parents to cop it harder . But you can make it easier on him and on yourselves . Even without a suitable label , read " Explosive Child " and then go through your personal history on him , looking for clues . Give him personal responsibility and choice in areas that really don 't matter . back off on the food issues , try and give him a balanced diet within the framework of his preferences . In our more modern world we can do this without too much fuss - I cook ahead and will serve multiple meals sometimes , mostly from pre - prepared stores . Example - last night we had lasagne ( store - bought party pack ) . difficult child 3 hates lasagne , but I already had some bolognese sauce in the freezer . I got it out , thawed it and made difficult child 3 some nachos the way he likes it ( very simple ) . His dinner was served and eaten while ours was cooking . And that 's another thing - I feed difficult child 3 when he 's hungry , and earlier rather than late , because he gets so mentally tired and stressed that he 's too tired to eat . His older sister does this to me as well , and she 's 20 . Basically , it 's like with babies . Keep them fed , slept , clean and entertained and they 'll be much better behaved for you . Doesn 't mean they 're perfect , only it gives you a better chance to get through to them . I still use that principle with difficult child 3 ( and his older sister ! ) . If I let him go to bed without having eaten enough , he will wake earlier and be cranky from hunger as well as lack of sleep . Plus , he 's underweight so I don 't feel too guilty shovelling food into him when he 's too tired to feed himself . I need to do that a lot less now he 's 13 , but I still do sometimes if I know it 's going to make my life easier in the morning . Another tip with food - I keep healthy snacks that he likes available for him to eat . Cold cooked sausages , for example . If he eats four sausages at 5 pm , I might just give him a salad at 6 pm and call it dinner . I don 't care if he spoils his appetite on good food - he 's eating the same food anyway , but when his body is ready for it rather than to my timetable . I know this sounds like anarchy , but it works for us because it works in so many ways . When he sleeps , he sleeps incredibly soundly . Everything he does , he does it with every fibre of his being . Awake he 's bouncing off the walls . Asleep , he doesn 't move . When he 's concentrating on schoolwork , I have to touch him on the shoulder to get his attention . I think it 's too early to label your son with ODD . I don 't think he 's oppositional . I think he 's just having trouble understanding how the rules are . The food - I don 't think that 's oppositional , I think he really has problems there and how else can he explain ? If someone told me I would have to eat braised tripe and raw liver , or go hungry - I 'd go hungry , folks . But I 'd be cranky and irritable , as well as thinking everyone was being unreasonable . One final point - you need to be anonymous . Not for us , but for your sake . The time will almost certainly come when you want to vent about a problem , and you don 't want it written with your full identifying details attached to it . You might be angry with the pediatrician ; with the neighbour ; with the school - and if there 's a chance they 're trying to see what you might be writing about them then you will have lost your confidentiality . I know I leak at times about my real ID , but that 's because I 'm feeling fairly safe at the moment . It 's not part of my name or sig . My whole ID - it 's something I just don 't go into full detail with . No address , no surname , no personal names of kids , no doctor names , no school name . Then if I want to say , " My son 's teacher is a jerk , " I can . I think that your son needs an evaluation . Try to find a good psychiatrist / neuro - psychiatrist in your area . His problems sound much larger than simply behavior , and it is certainly not your fault . I agree with SLR that you might want to read up on Sensory Integration Disorder ( SID ) and Autistic spectrum . Often ODD type behavior are part of a larger diagnosis that need special supports and interventions . Hi Rachel and welcome . You 've been giving a lot of wonderful advice . I agree with SRL 's thoughts . ODD is seen as basically a basket of symptoms that has an underlying cause rather than being a standalone diagnosis . Take some time for yourself . As others told me when I first joined here : this is a marathon , not a sprint . I have days where I repeat that to myself over and over again . You 're on the right track . As the others have said , if your pediatrician won 't get on board with you then it is time to find another . Noone knows a child better than his own parents . It sounds like you already have a good amount of facts together for the doctor , when you get there . Have you had the school test your difficult child yet ? What kind of class is your difficult child in ? Kids are very hard to diagnose and medicate , and not always does the first medication work , nor is the first diagnosis correct . My son , Dylan , has had a slew of diagnosis over the years , along with 17 ( yes , 17 ) medication trials . It took us almost 7 years to get it right , so be prepared for the long haul . It 's not easy . My daughter was diagnosed with ODD . She has been going to the same therapist for 3 years now . Just last summer , I said something to the therapist about what it was like when difficult child was 3 and she was surprised to hear it was that bad . So it takes a long time for them to get the full picture , if they ever do . My daughter had some of the same issues as your son . She also took the same lunch for years . Then she would complain that she was tired of it but she couldn 't come up with anything else she wanted to eat . So she kept taking it . I am more flexible with what she eats now because it just isn 't worth a battle over . If she doesn 't like what I make , she can make something herself . It is working for us . We discovered my daughter 's oppositional behaviour was caused by food allergies . Now that she doesn 't eat those foods , she is a easy child ( perfect child LOL ) Since you mentioned they thought your son had allergies until they tested him , this might be something for you to look into . Unfortunately , this is considered alternative medicine so you probably will have a hard time finding a doctor to help you . My easy child was also treated for allergies until they tested her and she had none . It turns out she has food allergies , too . She doesn 't have the bags under her eyes and the crease in her nose anymore since she doesn 't eat those foods . You can just try to eliminate the major food allergens to see if that makes a difference , if you decide to try it . This may not be the case for your son but I wanted to mention it . I was told last March that it was a parenting issue by a different p - doctor than the one we usually see . At that time , we thought we were going to have to add a mood stabilizer to difficult child 's medications . In May , we eliminated her allergens and we have a different child . Same parenting techniques but a different result . It clearly is not a parenting issue . I believe that kids don 't act that way if they can help it . If pediatrician doctor has been blowing you off this long chances are he isn 't going to change his mind . been there done that Hopefully husband will be able to fix the referral for insur and you can find your own neurosychologist and neurologist . Your son needs a full evaluation by both . First of all , you can 't / don 't outgrow seizures . I know . I was told the same thing with T . Til I got to a neuro who knew his stuff . The seizures may display differently , but they aren 't something that just goes away . And the speech delay also jumped out at me . How did he do with his other developmental milestones ? Were they met on time or delayed any ? The problem with your pediatrician doctor isn 't with you . Many of us have had the same problems . I literally spent years trying to get my difficult child T correctly diagnosed . When I finally found the right doctor ( one who listened and actually did something ) I wanted to kiss his feet . lol Just adding my hi . You 've got lots of good advice to think about already . You definitely need an evaluation for your son . Your pediatrician needs to give you a referral , and if he won 't I 'd look for another who will pay attention to your concerns . in my opinion , mom just knows and the doctor should listen , as the doctor sees the child maybe twice a year , mom sees these things every day . Hey , I 'd believe you about the same sandwich every day , my difficult child takes a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch every day of the school year . It has to be black forrest style ham , cheddar cheese on a kaiser bun . Does make it easier to make him lunch every day , nothing to have to decide between LOL . My difficult child still won 't eat vegies , though he will now eat fresh corn on the cob ( only no canned or frozen ) and potatoes in other forms than fries . I agree with others about not pushing the food issues too hard . Try feed him as nutritionally as you can with what he will eat , and let him try bites of new foods whenever he will . I know in this way my difficult child has gradually moved from beef , ham chicken , cheese , bread and plain pasta , to also eating lasagne , shrimp , corn on the cob , apples , oranges a certain brand of pickles , plus other foods . So , slowly he 's expanding what he 'll eat and at 13 he 's 5 ' 10 " about 175 , so he hasn 't done harm to his growth anyway LOL . Perhaps I 'm in the minority here but in my humble opinion you need the full multi - disciplinary evaluation . You need to read , as recommended above to understand all the potential diagnosis and so that you are recognizing ALL his potential symptoms . But it would seem to me that your child could go any or all of the routes of psychiatry , neurology and Pervasive Developmental Disorder ( PDD ) . So in my humble opinion the multi - disciplinary is the way to go . It will include speech , hearing , Sensory Integration Disorder ( SID ) and anything else that comes up that they think needs to be looked at . Suggest that you look at the FAQ forum for what the multi - discplinary involves . I had 4 pages of notes and also brought a few photographs of my son with me so she could literally see my son . He hardly ever smiles for pictures , but rather gives his best grump look ( he hates having his picture taken ) . In one picture ( my mom wanted to get all of her grandchildren together for a picture ) he was literally p . o 'd because he didn 't want to sit with the other kids . I also brought a picture of him giving a silly pose for the camera ( a rarity ) . I didn 't want the Dr to think he was always an angry , kid . She asked me if he ever experienced lows in his mood . . . no . She asked me if he was / is an affectionate child . . likes to be held , cuddled , etc . . . . no . She asked if I ever noticed any sort of avoidance of eye contact when he was younger . . . not that I could remember . He was always such a sick child when younger , that really that was my priority so if there was any sort of eye issue , it wasn 't anything that was noticably . She DEFINITELY feels that this needs to be evaluated by a specialist , that this is NOT an issue at home vs . school . . like the EAP program suggested . She did bring up ODD as well as Autism . I was not expecting Autism because I just didn 't really think it fit . A neighbor has an autistic child who is really affected , so that is all I have to compare the disorder to . She said that it was such a broad spectrum disorder and that he could very well just be very mild . She said that all of his sensitivity issues seem to match , but she is by no means diagnosing him . . . she wants to leave that to the specialists . It was asked here about other developmental delays . Other than sound sensitivity , and other sensory issues , nothing . At almost 9 years old , he still uses a security blanket and sucks his thumb at night . He potty trained normally , and walked within normal time frame . His sensory issues were / have been , oversensitive to sounds although his hearing tested normal . Sounds like flushing toilets ( loud public toilets ) , generators , motorcycles and fire alarms would send him into a panic ; crying and covering his ears . This seemed to get better aboout 6 - 1 / 2 years old , although he still reacts a bit to motorcycles but does not cry . Up until THIS YEAR he never moved off the steps of a swimming pool and never experienced the water of the ocean past his toes , even though we go to the beach every year . He was completely TERRIFIED of the water , but was always fine in the bath tub ; he has yet learned how to swim which scares me to death . I think the doctor was most impressed with the fact that this child is incredibly picky when it comes to what he will / will not eat , and that I have asked for help with this over the years and was never provided anything other than " give it time , it is just a phase . " I do believe we are now moving in the right direction . . . well , we are moving anyway ! HAHA ! Thank you to everyone , I will update when I know what kind of Dr we will be seeing . I did not want to sound like I was pushing the food issue . It has just always been the one that sticks out because obviously we have to deal with it 3 times a day ! HAHA ! We usually make multi dinners here which I hate to have to do , but it gets us through without a fight ! When this issue was brought up at previous appointments with peds . it was just always explained away as a phase , not to worry , give it time , he will choose more things to eat . . . so I waited for that to happen . . HA ! Every once in a rare while , he will ask to taste something new , I look forward to those days ! I praise the heck out of him just for trying , even if he decides he didn 't like the food item , at leat he tried ! It was the peds office that suggested the sit him down to eat what we are eating . . . and then if he doesn 't want to eat , it won 't hurt him . . . he will be hungry the next meal and he will then eat . This was not a form of punishment that we were doing , and after he got sick the first time from doing this . . . it was the last time we ever tried that " method . " He has gotten sick a few times since and I brought this up at our appointment today . . . and said that I have almost brought him to the ER to have his blood sugar checked immediately because I was afraid it was caused by a blood sugar issue . It happens so infrequently though , and for no apparent reason , it is just so hard to have it looked into further . The idea of Pervasive Developmental Disorder ( PDD ) did occur to me in reading your first post . It is part of the multi - disciplinary . What makes me wonder whether the Pervasive Developmental Disorder ( PDD ) could be true in the sense of all the Sensory Integration Disorder ( SID ) issues you suggest is that they 're contradictory . That is , that while he doesn 't want to be held he wants to climb on top of other kids . You didn 't mention that the food issues are around certain colors , textures , etc . Also , the seizures seem significant to me and in my mind would warrant at a minimum a fast EEG . But I 'm no medical person . I still strongly recommend that you not go the route of only a Pervasive Developmental Disorder ( PDD ) evaluation , or of using a Pervasive Developmental Disorder ( PDD ) evaluation now and then having to ask some other field specialists to look at the Pervasive Developmental Disorder ( PDD ) evaluation later . eg a neurologist would have to do the EEG and read it . That person could also be the Pervasive Developmental Disorder ( PDD ) expert . If you go to the neurologist separately the neuro may want to do the Pervasive Developmental Disorder ( PDD ) evaluation all over again . There definitely is a multi - disciplinary place in Charlotte as I recall . I 'll check .
|
A high speed ferry belonging to Stenna line with a Welsh dragon on the side . It has been parked down at the Point depot for a few weeks . These boats are not cheap and need to be working 24 / 7 to pay the bills . A new skyline down near Sir John Rogersons quayRemember the conference center on which the work had stopped ? The latest news I hear is that it was built without planning permission being granted , so they can 't insure it so the work has stopped . Wow . . . . perhaps they will blame the new Polish guy , who will be innocent . This week I took the bull by the horns and tackled a job which I had been putting off , after the income tax I felt that it was important to have the seats covered in best leatherette . Christmas is coming and the people with full bladders will be getting into the car . No nasty surprises this year , just a quick wipe and a dash of Dettol and on I will go working . I was told of a guy in Drogheda who does a good job , so on Tuesday I drove over and got it done . They did a really good job and a lot cheaper than in Dublin . Do you want the number ? 041 9841302 . He takes the seats out of the car and makes the covers to measure really tight , I am told that they will not stretch and get loose , time will tell . I had to wait around for most of the day for them to do their magic but I was close to the dole office and it is the busiest place in town . It is hard to say if it the recession or if too many shopping centers have opened up in the town but a lot of shops in the town are closed up and even in the Laurence shopping center there was lots of vacant units . To add pain to the situation they are building a new shopping center around 2 miles out the Dublin road . This is to be open for Christmas . I pity anyone trying to make a living there . One of the guys who made the covers told me a tale of how peoples attitudes changed for the worse during the Celtic Tiger boom years . He bought a new suite of furniture from a guy he knew and trusted in Navan . But after a few months it collapsed , so he took a look at the frame and found it to bePosted by The Point opening soon . Now called the O2 venue . The lightship Kitywake lies in the foreground . At the Point " March without the people and you march into the night " Napoleon BonaparteWe had a budget and the people protested , they tried to tax the sick and force cut backs in education , the protesters are marching on the Bastille . Well here we are today ! Winter just around the corner , the clocks turned back ( daylight saving ) and the Dublin city marathon over for another year . The first lady across the line was on her first ever marathon , well done to one and all who took part , no use taking photos we have to work . It was a funny weekend with regard to work , there was very few people around and loads of taxis . I went home on Saturday and Sunday night night , made up some ground today Monday , loads of people coming back to the city after the weekend away . The Cork Jazz festival was the second big thing after the marathon here in Dublin . The old Garda were out with road blocks taking breath samples at random , can 't even begin to understand why they would pull a working taxi in and test them , do they think for a second that a working driver would drink ? While they are testing him chances are that another driver is slipping through the net . I learned one thing from a well pissed nurse though , my mate Alan was held up by a guy with a syringe a few weeks ago , it worked out OK in the end . She told me that you have nothing to fear from a blood filled syringe , we get needle stabs all the time , you just go to a doctor straight away and get an anti viral injection and you will be fine , I spoke to a second nurse and she told me that it is a series of injections , but you will have little to fear , she had just run the marathon in 4 hours 55 mins . and was going out to celebrate , I hope she is off tomorrow as she was wiped out with tiredness even though she was going out now . Now to the second thing I learned . A lady form Brighton over here needed to hire a car , she had lost her licence for speeding but she has had it back for over 2 years . Hertz wouPosted by Poster for the new must see show . Cassidys pub Camden St . where Bill Clinton was brought for his pint . A new magic show opens in Dublin , 4 years in the making and sure to thrill . When the Dublin run ends it goes to Las Vegas ( I kid you not ) I likes a bit of magic I do . Good magic gives you the most fun you can have legally without taking your clothes off . I must change my profile I do work days , but I have to work nights as well or I won 't eat , so many taxis so little time . Last Saturday at 1 . 30 am saw me in Fitzwilliam Sq . where a young drunk lady was waving me down . I stopped at the casino further down , but she shouted and ran up to me . " Why didn 't you stop " Now saying I didn 't see you would not have been the answer , there was no part of her body I could not see , she was blotto as well and alone . I 'm going to Leeson St . A U turn so , says I . This is So not the right direction , This is soooo the right direction says I . Man do you think I am stupid ? Well if you look straight ahead you can see Leeson St . Man I was so lost I was walking for hours . When we pulled in there was around 6 people looking for taxis . . . . All blottto like the folks of " Night of the living dead " I had to blow the horn to make them move away so that I could drive on , they were so drunk that they could not see that the car was empty . I thought how easy it would be if you were a rapist , Those girls would not know what happened . I don 't pick up single girls as a rule 2 or 3 OK . even single guys bitch and moan how they have walked and could not get a taxi . Lighten up , thank the guy who stopped and tell him what a great guy he was for stopping . I know that the background checks on taxi drivers are not what they used to be . I also know that there are cloned cars and cars being driven by unlicensed drivers . Now back to crime and punishment . I see from the paper that a guy was jailed for 6 years for fracturing a taxi drivers skull . the guy has a 107 previous convictions and was on bail for ramming a Garda car with a stolen car . I wonder how many years he would have had to serve iPosted by The new conference center from across the LiffyEarly morning dole Queue for unemployment benefit outside a post officeWell the recession is here like the chill in the Autumn air . The builders on the conference center got a nasty shock last Friday when the boss called them to order and told them that there was no money to pay them and to come back on Monday . 300 workers sent home I am told . The glaziers are the only ones working on the site as I write , look at the small yellow dots on the glass front . A lot of building projects are in serious trouble . Apartments and new homes stand finished with no buyers coming forward . The banks would not lend money to buyers anyhow . A lot of doom and gloom about , even the 8 % increase is being touted as a bad thing . Well the cost of adjusting the meter e75 then the cost of sealing it up again something like e95 is a BIT steep , considering its only a few minutes work . We will have to work a long time to get it back when you consider the falling incomes and the perception that the future is looking worse . I had 4 Polish girls laughing and joking in the car on Saturday night , the reason for the great joy ? They were breaking up and going back to Poland . Back to their studies where they will become responsible citizens in the new Europe . Bringing happy thoughts of Ireland home with them . As you will know , if you read this tripe that I churn out week after week . I believe that they are qualified well above the positions they hold here in Ireland . Yes they loved Ireland and they felt no racial abuse apart from not being able to secure good jobs in the beginning , now a new page is turning in their lives . So they return home wiser and happy . I wish them a good future . People like them are the very best kind of people . They left home and ventured over here , they were the brave ones taking a chance , not sitting on their backsides moaning . A bit like the Irish who fled to the USA , Australia and God knows where to avoid our financial blight in the 50s 60s and 70s . . When they came back they brought skills and Posted by Nothbrook clinic Northbrook Rd . This house at the top of Highfield rd . Rathgar . It has been completely rebuilt it must be the biggest house ever . It was a funny week , not too funny with vomiting and diarrhea on Sunday and Monday and then still fasting all that time until Wednesday . . . . Then I heard that this started off in Lourdes France where the Carmalite nuns went , and they all caught it and then brought it home . Makes sense of the expression holy s * * * . Doesn 't make me feel better knowing that , but I do feel better now at last . So my lucky spirit keeps sending me work and I can flit around this city and meet people on a mission and get them there . I went to Grafton St the other day and parked up at the Westbury hotel , I went down to talk to the flower sellers , they sell a sight of flowers , the flowers are all exotic and very special , they do very well . While I was there a guy of around 17 caught my eye . He had a distant look on his eyes you could really see that he was in a trance . As I watched he started twitching all over , arms , legs and head . The police really don 't care about people like him and if you are reporting something you have to slant it in a different way , or they will never respond . So I rang them and I explained that I was afraid he might attack someone , but he really needed help himself . I hung up the mobile and I stood beside the flower sellers for a while . After 5 minutes he came over and asked for directions to Bewleys cafe and he wandered off . . A young Garda arrived after a while and we pointed the guy out but I don 't know how well clued in he was ( he was very young ) this would not be a situation which would end well if the policeman did not use tact . Back to the car where a Scottish actor who is filming here wanted to go to Portmarnock golf club , , he was getting a bit upset about the drizzle when we arrived and when he paid me I passed him the change and he gave me e5 tip . Then he had no umbrella ! ! So I said take mine and leave it with the doorman tomorrow . . " If there had been no tip there would have been no uPosted by The statue of Molly Malone which is at the bottom of Grafton St . A statue of james Connolly . One of the leaders of the 1916 rising against the British executed . I just thought I would stick in a bit of you tube in case a certain lady looks up the blog , otherwise I have little to say today . Well I fell violently ill on Sunday so I was forced to take 2 days off , got back into the swing of things today . I got 3 good fares together one after the other each one over e20 . . Its great when that happens . I met an Italian girl going home after a hard days work in an American bank . " Any exciting holidays planned ? " " Why yes I am going to Buenos Aries to visit my boy friend " " Ah the tango " says I . . Why yes I love the tango and I am looking forward to doing tango there . " She has been doing tango lessons here in Dublin for the past few years . I hope she will visit the tango school which is run by a taxi driver . As far as I can find out he is a bit of a Micheal Flatley as he works on many shows . Lucky girl . This is LibertangoAnd this the masters of the tango dance Blessington basin used to be the reservoir for the Jeameson distilleryA good judge of a restaurant . Well getting back into the swing of things though " she who must be obeyed " is pointing to jobs to do . Not a hell of work on the streets so I can keep everyone happy . The photo is of a toilet in a Chinese restaurant in Parnell St . What a mess ! The walls had little bits of toilet paper stuck to the walls . That 's the kind of mess you get from clearing the drains . . . . . . But then you are supposed to hose down the walls and spray a bit of disinfectant around . That 's another place I won 't be visiting in a hurry . Sign of the times I see sandwich bars and high price coffee houses closing down . Restaurants are feeling the pinch now too . I got an e mail from Japan Z4 BMW sports car waits at Dublin port no reasonable offer refused . Must be bought today . High spec too . Talking of Japanese imports , did you know that the electrics , radio , sat nav , TV etc . will not work in Ireland . I had a wave band expander fitted in my car radio and I can now get the full range of FM stations instead of just one . The guy laughed when I asked for a radio with a tape deck , " Living in the stone age , its I pods now " Still my old cassette tapes were great . ( Not 8 track ) Then there 's the banks , safe and sound . Every man woman and baby have promised to bail them out if they go under . When I see what these fund managers were paying themselves in spite of the losses that they were making . And the salaries of the top executives it makes me quite angry . A lady going to the Bon Securs hospital started thinking I was bringing her the wrong way , be patient for a second says I , coming off Botanic Rd . That 's it on top of the hill . I thought it was somewhere else she says . Well I never heard that before . You bring a person to the place and they tell you it should be in another geographical location altogether , , , , even though they are there . I can 't fathom where the traffic blockages are coming from , when you get through the hold up there seemed to be no reason for it to be there altogether . Posted by
|
A high speed ferry belonging to Stenna line with a Welsh dragon on the side . It has been parked down at the Point depot for a few weeks . These boats are not cheap and need to be working 24 / 7 to pay the bills . A new skyline down near Sir John Rogersons quayRemember the conference center on which the work had stopped ? The latest news I hear is that it was built without planning permission being granted , so they can 't insure it so the work has stopped . Wow . . . . perhaps they will blame the new Polish guy , who will be innocent . This week I took the bull by the horns and tackled a job which I had been putting off , after the income tax I felt that it was important to have the seats covered in best leatherette . Christmas is coming and the people with full bladders will be getting into the car . No nasty surprises this year , just a quick wipe and a dash of Dettol and on I will go working . I was told of a guy in Drogheda who does a good job , so on Tuesday I drove over and got it done . They did a really good job and a lot cheaper than in Dublin . Do you want the number ? 041 9841302 . He takes the seats out of the car and makes the covers to measure really tight , I am told that they will not stretch and get loose , time will tell . I had to wait around for most of the day for them to do their magic but I was close to the dole office and it is the busiest place in town . It is hard to say if it the recession or if too many shopping centers have opened up in the town but a lot of shops in the town are closed up and even in the Laurence shopping center there was lots of vacant units . To add pain to the situation they are building a new shopping center around 2 miles out the Dublin road . This is to be open for Christmas . I pity anyone trying to make a living there . One of the guys who made the covers told me a tale of how peoples attitudes changed for the worse during the Celtic Tiger boom years . He bought a new suite of furniture from a guy he knew and trusted in Navan . But after a few months it collapsed , so he took a look at the frame and found it to bePosted by The Point opening soon . Now called the O2 venue . The lightship Kitywake lies in the foreground . At the Point " March without the people and you march into the night " Napoleon BonaparteWe had a budget and the people protested , they tried to tax the sick and force cut backs in education , the protesters are marching on the Bastille . Well here we are today ! Winter just around the corner , the clocks turned back ( daylight saving ) and the Dublin city marathon over for another year . The first lady across the line was on her first ever marathon , well done to one and all who took part , no use taking photos we have to work . It was a funny weekend with regard to work , there was very few people around and loads of taxis . I went home on Saturday and Sunday night night , made up some ground today Monday , loads of people coming back to the city after the weekend away . The Cork Jazz festival was the second big thing after the marathon here in Dublin . The old Garda were out with road blocks taking breath samples at random , can 't even begin to understand why they would pull a working taxi in and test them , do they think for a second that a working driver would drink ? While they are testing him chances are that another driver is slipping through the net . I learned one thing from a well pissed nurse though , my mate Alan was held up by a guy with a syringe a few weeks ago , it worked out OK in the end . She told me that you have nothing to fear from a blood filled syringe , we get needle stabs all the time , you just go to a doctor straight away and get an anti viral injection and you will be fine , I spoke to a second nurse and she told me that it is a series of injections , but you will have little to fear , she had just run the marathon in 4 hours 55 mins . and was going out to celebrate , I hope she is off tomorrow as she was wiped out with tiredness even though she was going out now . Now to the second thing I learned . A lady form Brighton over here needed to hire a car , she had lost her licence for speeding but she has had it back for over 2 years . Hertz wouPosted by Poster for the new must see show . Cassidys pub Camden St . where Bill Clinton was brought for his pint . A new magic show opens in Dublin , 4 years in the making and sure to thrill . When the Dublin run ends it goes to Las Vegas ( I kid you not ) I likes a bit of magic I do . Good magic gives you the most fun you can have legally without taking your clothes off . I must change my profile I do work days , but I have to work nights as well or I won 't eat , so many taxis so little time . Last Saturday at 1 . 30 am saw me in Fitzwilliam Sq . where a young drunk lady was waving me down . I stopped at the casino further down , but she shouted and ran up to me . " Why didn 't you stop " Now saying I didn 't see you would not have been the answer , there was no part of her body I could not see , she was blotto as well and alone . I 'm going to Leeson St . A U turn so , says I . This is So not the right direction , This is soooo the right direction says I . Man do you think I am stupid ? Well if you look straight ahead you can see Leeson St . Man I was so lost I was walking for hours . When we pulled in there was around 6 people looking for taxis . . . . All blottto like the folks of " Night of the living dead " I had to blow the horn to make them move away so that I could drive on , they were so drunk that they could not see that the car was empty . I thought how easy it would be if you were a rapist , Those girls would not know what happened . I don 't pick up single girls as a rule 2 or 3 OK . even single guys bitch and moan how they have walked and could not get a taxi . Lighten up , thank the guy who stopped and tell him what a great guy he was for stopping . I know that the background checks on taxi drivers are not what they used to be . I also know that there are cloned cars and cars being driven by unlicensed drivers . Now back to crime and punishment . I see from the paper that a guy was jailed for 6 years for fracturing a taxi drivers skull . the guy has a 107 previous convictions and was on bail for ramming a Garda car with a stolen car . I wonder how many years he would have had to serve iPosted by The new conference center from across the LiffyEarly morning dole Queue for unemployment benefit outside a post officeWell the recession is here like the chill in the Autumn air . The builders on the conference center got a nasty shock last Friday when the boss called them to order and told them that there was no money to pay them and to come back on Monday . 300 workers sent home I am told . The glaziers are the only ones working on the site as I write , look at the small yellow dots on the glass front . A lot of building projects are in serious trouble . Apartments and new homes stand finished with no buyers coming forward . The banks would not lend money to buyers anyhow . A lot of doom and gloom about , even the 8 % increase is being touted as a bad thing . Well the cost of adjusting the meter e75 then the cost of sealing it up again something like e95 is a BIT steep , considering its only a few minutes work . We will have to work a long time to get it back when you consider the falling incomes and the perception that the future is looking worse . I had 4 Polish girls laughing and joking in the car on Saturday night , the reason for the great joy ? They were breaking up and going back to Poland . Back to their studies where they will become responsible citizens in the new Europe . Bringing happy thoughts of Ireland home with them . As you will know , if you read this tripe that I churn out week after week . I believe that they are qualified well above the positions they hold here in Ireland . Yes they loved Ireland and they felt no racial abuse apart from not being able to secure good jobs in the beginning , now a new page is turning in their lives . So they return home wiser and happy . I wish them a good future . People like them are the very best kind of people . They left home and ventured over here , they were the brave ones taking a chance , not sitting on their backsides moaning . A bit like the Irish who fled to the USA , Australia and God knows where to avoid our financial blight in the 50s 60s and 70s . . When they came back they brought skills and Posted by Nothbrook clinic Northbrook Rd . This house at the top of Highfield rd . Rathgar . It has been completely rebuilt it must be the biggest house ever . It was a funny week , not too funny with vomiting and diarrhea on Sunday and Monday and then still fasting all that time until Wednesday . . . . Then I heard that this started off in Lourdes France where the Carmalite nuns went , and they all caught it and then brought it home . Makes sense of the expression holy s * * * . Doesn 't make me feel better knowing that , but I do feel better now at last . So my lucky spirit keeps sending me work and I can flit around this city and meet people on a mission and get them there . I went to Grafton St the other day and parked up at the Westbury hotel , I went down to talk to the flower sellers , they sell a sight of flowers , the flowers are all exotic and very special , they do very well . While I was there a guy of around 17 caught my eye . He had a distant look on his eyes you could really see that he was in a trance . As I watched he started twitching all over , arms , legs and head . The police really don 't care about people like him and if you are reporting something you have to slant it in a different way , or they will never respond . So I rang them and I explained that I was afraid he might attack someone , but he really needed help himself . I hung up the mobile and I stood beside the flower sellers for a while . After 5 minutes he came over and asked for directions to Bewleys cafe and he wandered off . . A young Garda arrived after a while and we pointed the guy out but I don 't know how well clued in he was ( he was very young ) this would not be a situation which would end well if the policeman did not use tact . Back to the car where a Scottish actor who is filming here wanted to go to Portmarnock golf club , , he was getting a bit upset about the drizzle when we arrived and when he paid me I passed him the change and he gave me e5 tip . Then he had no umbrella ! ! So I said take mine and leave it with the doorman tomorrow . . " If there had been no tip there would have been no uPosted by The statue of Molly Malone which is at the bottom of Grafton St . A statue of james Connolly . One of the leaders of the 1916 rising against the British executed . I just thought I would stick in a bit of you tube in case a certain lady looks up the blog , otherwise I have little to say today . Well I fell violently ill on Sunday so I was forced to take 2 days off , got back into the swing of things today . I got 3 good fares together one after the other each one over e20 . . Its great when that happens . I met an Italian girl going home after a hard days work in an American bank . " Any exciting holidays planned ? " " Why yes I am going to Buenos Aries to visit my boy friend " " Ah the tango " says I . . Why yes I love the tango and I am looking forward to doing tango there . " She has been doing tango lessons here in Dublin for the past few years . I hope she will visit the tango school which is run by a taxi driver . As far as I can find out he is a bit of a Micheal Flatley as he works on many shows . Lucky girl . This is LibertangoAnd this the masters of the tango dance Blessington basin used to be the reservoir for the Jeameson distilleryA good judge of a restaurant . Well getting back into the swing of things though " she who must be obeyed " is pointing to jobs to do . Not a hell of work on the streets so I can keep everyone happy . The photo is of a toilet in a Chinese restaurant in Parnell St . What a mess ! The walls had little bits of toilet paper stuck to the walls . That 's the kind of mess you get from clearing the drains . . . . . . But then you are supposed to hose down the walls and spray a bit of disinfectant around . That 's another place I won 't be visiting in a hurry . Sign of the times I see sandwich bars and high price coffee houses closing down . Restaurants are feeling the pinch now too . I got an e mail from Japan Z4 BMW sports car waits at Dublin port no reasonable offer refused . Must be bought today . High spec too . Talking of Japanese imports , did you know that the electrics , radio , sat nav , TV etc . will not work in Ireland . I had a wave band expander fitted in my car radio and I can now get the full range of FM stations instead of just one . The guy laughed when I asked for a radio with a tape deck , " Living in the stone age , its I pods now " Still my old cassette tapes were great . ( Not 8 track ) Then there 's the banks , safe and sound . Every man woman and baby have promised to bail them out if they go under . When I see what these fund managers were paying themselves in spite of the losses that they were making . And the salaries of the top executives it makes me quite angry . A lady going to the Bon Securs hospital started thinking I was bringing her the wrong way , be patient for a second says I , coming off Botanic Rd . That 's it on top of the hill . I thought it was somewhere else she says . Well I never heard that before . You bring a person to the place and they tell you it should be in another geographical location altogether , , , , even though they are there . I can 't fathom where the traffic blockages are coming from , when you get through the hold up there seemed to be no reason for it to be there altogether . Posted by
|
A high speed ferry belonging to Stenna line with a Welsh dragon on the side . It has been parked down at the Point depot for a few weeks . These boats are not cheap and need to be working 24 / 7 to pay the bills . A new skyline down near Sir John Rogersons quayRemember the conference center on which the work had stopped ? The latest news I hear is that it was built without planning permission being granted , so they can 't insure it so the work has stopped . Wow . . . . perhaps they will blame the new Polish guy , who will be innocent . This week I took the bull by the horns and tackled a job which I had been putting off , after the income tax I felt that it was important to have the seats covered in best leatherette . Christmas is coming and the people with full bladders will be getting into the car . No nasty surprises this year , just a quick wipe and a dash of Dettol and on I will go working . I was told of a guy in Drogheda who does a good job , so on Tuesday I drove over and got it done . They did a really good job and a lot cheaper than in Dublin . Do you want the number ? 041 9841302 . He takes the seats out of the car and makes the covers to measure really tight , I am told that they will not stretch and get loose , time will tell . I had to wait around for most of the day for them to do their magic but I was close to the dole office and it is the busiest place in town . It is hard to say if it the recession or if too many shopping centers have opened up in the town but a lot of shops in the town are closed up and even in the Laurence shopping center there was lots of vacant units . To add pain to the situation they are building a new shopping center around 2 miles out the Dublin road . This is to be open for Christmas . I pity anyone trying to make a living there . One of the guys who made the covers told me a tale of how peoples attitudes changed for the worse during the Celtic Tiger boom years . He bought a new suite of furniture from a guy he knew and trusted in Navan . But after a few months it collapsed , so he took a look at the frame and found it to bePosted by The Point opening soon . Now called the O2 venue . The lightship Kitywake lies in the foreground . At the Point " March without the people and you march into the night " Napoleon BonaparteWe had a budget and the people protested , they tried to tax the sick and force cut backs in education , the protesters are marching on the Bastille . Well here we are today ! Winter just around the corner , the clocks turned back ( daylight saving ) and the Dublin city marathon over for another year . The first lady across the line was on her first ever marathon , well done to one and all who took part , no use taking photos we have to work . It was a funny weekend with regard to work , there was very few people around and loads of taxis . I went home on Saturday and Sunday night night , made up some ground today Monday , loads of people coming back to the city after the weekend away . The Cork Jazz festival was the second big thing after the marathon here in Dublin . The old Garda were out with road blocks taking breath samples at random , can 't even begin to understand why they would pull a working taxi in and test them , do they think for a second that a working driver would drink ? While they are testing him chances are that another driver is slipping through the net . I learned one thing from a well pissed nurse though , my mate Alan was held up by a guy with a syringe a few weeks ago , it worked out OK in the end . She told me that you have nothing to fear from a blood filled syringe , we get needle stabs all the time , you just go to a doctor straight away and get an anti viral injection and you will be fine , I spoke to a second nurse and she told me that it is a series of injections , but you will have little to fear , she had just run the marathon in 4 hours 55 mins . and was going out to celebrate , I hope she is off tomorrow as she was wiped out with tiredness even though she was going out now . Now to the second thing I learned . A lady form Brighton over here needed to hire a car , she had lost her licence for speeding but she has had it back for over 2 years . Hertz wouPosted by Poster for the new must see show . Cassidys pub Camden St . where Bill Clinton was brought for his pint . A new magic show opens in Dublin , 4 years in the making and sure to thrill . When the Dublin run ends it goes to Las Vegas ( I kid you not ) I likes a bit of magic I do . Good magic gives you the most fun you can have legally without taking your clothes off . I must change my profile I do work days , but I have to work nights as well or I won 't eat , so many taxis so little time . Last Saturday at 1 . 30 am saw me in Fitzwilliam Sq . where a young drunk lady was waving me down . I stopped at the casino further down , but she shouted and ran up to me . " Why didn 't you stop " Now saying I didn 't see you would not have been the answer , there was no part of her body I could not see , she was blotto as well and alone . I 'm going to Leeson St . A U turn so , says I . This is So not the right direction , This is soooo the right direction says I . Man do you think I am stupid ? Well if you look straight ahead you can see Leeson St . Man I was so lost I was walking for hours . When we pulled in there was around 6 people looking for taxis . . . . All blottto like the folks of " Night of the living dead " I had to blow the horn to make them move away so that I could drive on , they were so drunk that they could not see that the car was empty . I thought how easy it would be if you were a rapist , Those girls would not know what happened . I don 't pick up single girls as a rule 2 or 3 OK . even single guys bitch and moan how they have walked and could not get a taxi . Lighten up , thank the guy who stopped and tell him what a great guy he was for stopping . I know that the background checks on taxi drivers are not what they used to be . I also know that there are cloned cars and cars being driven by unlicensed drivers . Now back to crime and punishment . I see from the paper that a guy was jailed for 6 years for fracturing a taxi drivers skull . the guy has a 107 previous convictions and was on bail for ramming a Garda car with a stolen car . I wonder how many years he would have had to serve iPosted by The new conference center from across the LiffyEarly morning dole Queue for unemployment benefit outside a post officeWell the recession is here like the chill in the Autumn air . The builders on the conference center got a nasty shock last Friday when the boss called them to order and told them that there was no money to pay them and to come back on Monday . 300 workers sent home I am told . The glaziers are the only ones working on the site as I write , look at the small yellow dots on the glass front . A lot of building projects are in serious trouble . Apartments and new homes stand finished with no buyers coming forward . The banks would not lend money to buyers anyhow . A lot of doom and gloom about , even the 8 % increase is being touted as a bad thing . Well the cost of adjusting the meter e75 then the cost of sealing it up again something like e95 is a BIT steep , considering its only a few minutes work . We will have to work a long time to get it back when you consider the falling incomes and the perception that the future is looking worse . I had 4 Polish girls laughing and joking in the car on Saturday night , the reason for the great joy ? They were breaking up and going back to Poland . Back to their studies where they will become responsible citizens in the new Europe . Bringing happy thoughts of Ireland home with them . As you will know , if you read this tripe that I churn out week after week . I believe that they are qualified well above the positions they hold here in Ireland . Yes they loved Ireland and they felt no racial abuse apart from not being able to secure good jobs in the beginning , now a new page is turning in their lives . So they return home wiser and happy . I wish them a good future . People like them are the very best kind of people . They left home and ventured over here , they were the brave ones taking a chance , not sitting on their backsides moaning . A bit like the Irish who fled to the USA , Australia and God knows where to avoid our financial blight in the 50s 60s and 70s . . When they came back they brought skills and Posted by Nothbrook clinic Northbrook Rd . This house at the top of Highfield rd . Rathgar . It has been completely rebuilt it must be the biggest house ever . It was a funny week , not too funny with vomiting and diarrhea on Sunday and Monday and then still fasting all that time until Wednesday . . . . Then I heard that this started off in Lourdes France where the Carmalite nuns went , and they all caught it and then brought it home . Makes sense of the expression holy s * * * . Doesn 't make me feel better knowing that , but I do feel better now at last . So my lucky spirit keeps sending me work and I can flit around this city and meet people on a mission and get them there . I went to Grafton St the other day and parked up at the Westbury hotel , I went down to talk to the flower sellers , they sell a sight of flowers , the flowers are all exotic and very special , they do very well . While I was there a guy of around 17 caught my eye . He had a distant look on his eyes you could really see that he was in a trance . As I watched he started twitching all over , arms , legs and head . The police really don 't care about people like him and if you are reporting something you have to slant it in a different way , or they will never respond . So I rang them and I explained that I was afraid he might attack someone , but he really needed help himself . I hung up the mobile and I stood beside the flower sellers for a while . After 5 minutes he came over and asked for directions to Bewleys cafe and he wandered off . . A young Garda arrived after a while and we pointed the guy out but I don 't know how well clued in he was ( he was very young ) this would not be a situation which would end well if the policeman did not use tact . Back to the car where a Scottish actor who is filming here wanted to go to Portmarnock golf club , , he was getting a bit upset about the drizzle when we arrived and when he paid me I passed him the change and he gave me e5 tip . Then he had no umbrella ! ! So I said take mine and leave it with the doorman tomorrow . . " If there had been no tip there would have been no uPosted by The statue of Molly Malone which is at the bottom of Grafton St . A statue of james Connolly . One of the leaders of the 1916 rising against the British executed . I just thought I would stick in a bit of you tube in case a certain lady looks up the blog , otherwise I have little to say today . Well I fell violently ill on Sunday so I was forced to take 2 days off , got back into the swing of things today . I got 3 good fares together one after the other each one over e20 . . Its great when that happens . I met an Italian girl going home after a hard days work in an American bank . " Any exciting holidays planned ? " " Why yes I am going to Buenos Aries to visit my boy friend " " Ah the tango " says I . . Why yes I love the tango and I am looking forward to doing tango there . " She has been doing tango lessons here in Dublin for the past few years . I hope she will visit the tango school which is run by a taxi driver . As far as I can find out he is a bit of a Micheal Flatley as he works on many shows . Lucky girl . This is LibertangoAnd this the masters of the tango dance Blessington basin used to be the reservoir for the Jeameson distilleryA good judge of a restaurant . Well getting back into the swing of things though " she who must be obeyed " is pointing to jobs to do . Not a hell of work on the streets so I can keep everyone happy . The photo is of a toilet in a Chinese restaurant in Parnell St . What a mess ! The walls had little bits of toilet paper stuck to the walls . That 's the kind of mess you get from clearing the drains . . . . . . But then you are supposed to hose down the walls and spray a bit of disinfectant around . That 's another place I won 't be visiting in a hurry . Sign of the times I see sandwich bars and high price coffee houses closing down . Restaurants are feeling the pinch now too . I got an e mail from Japan Z4 BMW sports car waits at Dublin port no reasonable offer refused . Must be bought today . High spec too . Talking of Japanese imports , did you know that the electrics , radio , sat nav , TV etc . will not work in Ireland . I had a wave band expander fitted in my car radio and I can now get the full range of FM stations instead of just one . The guy laughed when I asked for a radio with a tape deck , " Living in the stone age , its I pods now " Still my old cassette tapes were great . ( Not 8 track ) Then there 's the banks , safe and sound . Every man woman and baby have promised to bail them out if they go under . When I see what these fund managers were paying themselves in spite of the losses that they were making . And the salaries of the top executives it makes me quite angry . A lady going to the Bon Securs hospital started thinking I was bringing her the wrong way , be patient for a second says I , coming off Botanic Rd . That 's it on top of the hill . I thought it was somewhere else she says . Well I never heard that before . You bring a person to the place and they tell you it should be in another geographical location altogether , , , , even though they are there . I can 't fathom where the traffic blockages are coming from , when you get through the hold up there seemed to be no reason for it to be there altogether . Posted by
|
A high speed ferry belonging to Stenna line with a Welsh dragon on the side . It has been parked down at the Point depot for a few weeks . These boats are not cheap and need to be working 24 / 7 to pay the bills . A new skyline down near Sir John Rogersons quayRemember the conference center on which the work had stopped ? The latest news I hear is that it was built without planning permission being granted , so they can 't insure it so the work has stopped . Wow . . . . perhaps they will blame the new Polish guy , who will be innocent . This week I took the bull by the horns and tackled a job which I had been putting off , after the income tax I felt that it was important to have the seats covered in best leatherette . Christmas is coming and the people with full bladders will be getting into the car . No nasty surprises this year , just a quick wipe and a dash of Dettol and on I will go working . I was told of a guy in Drogheda who does a good job , so on Tuesday I drove over and got it done . They did a really good job and a lot cheaper than in Dublin . Do you want the number ? 041 9841302 . He takes the seats out of the car and makes the covers to measure really tight , I am told that they will not stretch and get loose , time will tell . I had to wait around for most of the day for them to do their magic but I was close to the dole office and it is the busiest place in town . It is hard to say if it the recession or if too many shopping centers have opened up in the town but a lot of shops in the town are closed up and even in the Laurence shopping center there was lots of vacant units . To add pain to the situation they are building a new shopping center around 2 miles out the Dublin road . This is to be open for Christmas . I pity anyone trying to make a living there . One of the guys who made the covers told me a tale of how peoples attitudes changed for the worse during the Celtic Tiger boom years . He bought a new suite of furniture from a guy he knew and trusted in Navan . But after a few months it collapsed , so he took a look at the frame and found it to bePosted by The Point opening soon . Now called the O2 venue . The lightship Kitywake lies in the foreground . At the Point " March without the people and you march into the night " Napoleon BonaparteWe had a budget and the people protested , they tried to tax the sick and force cut backs in education , the protesters are marching on the Bastille . Well here we are today ! Winter just around the corner , the clocks turned back ( daylight saving ) and the Dublin city marathon over for another year . The first lady across the line was on her first ever marathon , well done to one and all who took part , no use taking photos we have to work . It was a funny weekend with regard to work , there was very few people around and loads of taxis . I went home on Saturday and Sunday night night , made up some ground today Monday , loads of people coming back to the city after the weekend away . The Cork Jazz festival was the second big thing after the marathon here in Dublin . The old Garda were out with road blocks taking breath samples at random , can 't even begin to understand why they would pull a working taxi in and test them , do they think for a second that a working driver would drink ? While they are testing him chances are that another driver is slipping through the net . I learned one thing from a well pissed nurse though , my mate Alan was held up by a guy with a syringe a few weeks ago , it worked out OK in the end . She told me that you have nothing to fear from a blood filled syringe , we get needle stabs all the time , you just go to a doctor straight away and get an anti viral injection and you will be fine , I spoke to a second nurse and she told me that it is a series of injections , but you will have little to fear , she had just run the marathon in 4 hours 55 mins . and was going out to celebrate , I hope she is off tomorrow as she was wiped out with tiredness even though she was going out now . Now to the second thing I learned . A lady form Brighton over here needed to hire a car , she had lost her licence for speeding but she has had it back for over 2 years . Hertz wouPosted by Poster for the new must see show . Cassidys pub Camden St . where Bill Clinton was brought for his pint . A new magic show opens in Dublin , 4 years in the making and sure to thrill . When the Dublin run ends it goes to Las Vegas ( I kid you not ) I likes a bit of magic I do . Good magic gives you the most fun you can have legally without taking your clothes off . I must change my profile I do work days , but I have to work nights as well or I won 't eat , so many taxis so little time . Last Saturday at 1 . 30 am saw me in Fitzwilliam Sq . where a young drunk lady was waving me down . I stopped at the casino further down , but she shouted and ran up to me . " Why didn 't you stop " Now saying I didn 't see you would not have been the answer , there was no part of her body I could not see , she was blotto as well and alone . I 'm going to Leeson St . A U turn so , says I . This is So not the right direction , This is soooo the right direction says I . Man do you think I am stupid ? Well if you look straight ahead you can see Leeson St . Man I was so lost I was walking for hours . When we pulled in there was around 6 people looking for taxis . . . . All blottto like the folks of " Night of the living dead " I had to blow the horn to make them move away so that I could drive on , they were so drunk that they could not see that the car was empty . I thought how easy it would be if you were a rapist , Those girls would not know what happened . I don 't pick up single girls as a rule 2 or 3 OK . even single guys bitch and moan how they have walked and could not get a taxi . Lighten up , thank the guy who stopped and tell him what a great guy he was for stopping . I know that the background checks on taxi drivers are not what they used to be . I also know that there are cloned cars and cars being driven by unlicensed drivers . Now back to crime and punishment . I see from the paper that a guy was jailed for 6 years for fracturing a taxi drivers skull . the guy has a 107 previous convictions and was on bail for ramming a Garda car with a stolen car . I wonder how many years he would have had to serve iPosted by The new conference center from across the LiffyEarly morning dole Queue for unemployment benefit outside a post officeWell the recession is here like the chill in the Autumn air . The builders on the conference center got a nasty shock last Friday when the boss called them to order and told them that there was no money to pay them and to come back on Monday . 300 workers sent home I am told . The glaziers are the only ones working on the site as I write , look at the small yellow dots on the glass front . A lot of building projects are in serious trouble . Apartments and new homes stand finished with no buyers coming forward . The banks would not lend money to buyers anyhow . A lot of doom and gloom about , even the 8 % increase is being touted as a bad thing . Well the cost of adjusting the meter e75 then the cost of sealing it up again something like e95 is a BIT steep , considering its only a few minutes work . We will have to work a long time to get it back when you consider the falling incomes and the perception that the future is looking worse . I had 4 Polish girls laughing and joking in the car on Saturday night , the reason for the great joy ? They were breaking up and going back to Poland . Back to their studies where they will become responsible citizens in the new Europe . Bringing happy thoughts of Ireland home with them . As you will know , if you read this tripe that I churn out week after week . I believe that they are qualified well above the positions they hold here in Ireland . Yes they loved Ireland and they felt no racial abuse apart from not being able to secure good jobs in the beginning , now a new page is turning in their lives . So they return home wiser and happy . I wish them a good future . People like them are the very best kind of people . They left home and ventured over here , they were the brave ones taking a chance , not sitting on their backsides moaning . A bit like the Irish who fled to the USA , Australia and God knows where to avoid our financial blight in the 50s 60s and 70s . . When they came back they brought skills and Posted by Nothbrook clinic Northbrook Rd . This house at the top of Highfield rd . Rathgar . It has been completely rebuilt it must be the biggest house ever . It was a funny week , not too funny with vomiting and diarrhea on Sunday and Monday and then still fasting all that time until Wednesday . . . . Then I heard that this started off in Lourdes France where the Carmalite nuns went , and they all caught it and then brought it home . Makes sense of the expression holy s * * * . Doesn 't make me feel better knowing that , but I do feel better now at last . So my lucky spirit keeps sending me work and I can flit around this city and meet people on a mission and get them there . I went to Grafton St the other day and parked up at the Westbury hotel , I went down to talk to the flower sellers , they sell a sight of flowers , the flowers are all exotic and very special , they do very well . While I was there a guy of around 17 caught my eye . He had a distant look on his eyes you could really see that he was in a trance . As I watched he started twitching all over , arms , legs and head . The police really don 't care about people like him and if you are reporting something you have to slant it in a different way , or they will never respond . So I rang them and I explained that I was afraid he might attack someone , but he really needed help himself . I hung up the mobile and I stood beside the flower sellers for a while . After 5 minutes he came over and asked for directions to Bewleys cafe and he wandered off . . A young Garda arrived after a while and we pointed the guy out but I don 't know how well clued in he was ( he was very young ) this would not be a situation which would end well if the policeman did not use tact . Back to the car where a Scottish actor who is filming here wanted to go to Portmarnock golf club , , he was getting a bit upset about the drizzle when we arrived and when he paid me I passed him the change and he gave me e5 tip . Then he had no umbrella ! ! So I said take mine and leave it with the doorman tomorrow . . " If there had been no tip there would have been no uPosted by The statue of Molly Malone which is at the bottom of Grafton St . A statue of james Connolly . One of the leaders of the 1916 rising against the British executed . I just thought I would stick in a bit of you tube in case a certain lady looks up the blog , otherwise I have little to say today . Well I fell violently ill on Sunday so I was forced to take 2 days off , got back into the swing of things today . I got 3 good fares together one after the other each one over e20 . . Its great when that happens . I met an Italian girl going home after a hard days work in an American bank . " Any exciting holidays planned ? " " Why yes I am going to Buenos Aries to visit my boy friend " " Ah the tango " says I . . Why yes I love the tango and I am looking forward to doing tango there . " She has been doing tango lessons here in Dublin for the past few years . I hope she will visit the tango school which is run by a taxi driver . As far as I can find out he is a bit of a Micheal Flatley as he works on many shows . Lucky girl . This is LibertangoAnd this the masters of the tango dance Blessington basin used to be the reservoir for the Jeameson distilleryA good judge of a restaurant . Well getting back into the swing of things though " she who must be obeyed " is pointing to jobs to do . Not a hell of work on the streets so I can keep everyone happy . The photo is of a toilet in a Chinese restaurant in Parnell St . What a mess ! The walls had little bits of toilet paper stuck to the walls . That 's the kind of mess you get from clearing the drains . . . . . . But then you are supposed to hose down the walls and spray a bit of disinfectant around . That 's another place I won 't be visiting in a hurry . Sign of the times I see sandwich bars and high price coffee houses closing down . Restaurants are feeling the pinch now too . I got an e mail from Japan Z4 BMW sports car waits at Dublin port no reasonable offer refused . Must be bought today . High spec too . Talking of Japanese imports , did you know that the electrics , radio , sat nav , TV etc . will not work in Ireland . I had a wave band expander fitted in my car radio and I can now get the full range of FM stations instead of just one . The guy laughed when I asked for a radio with a tape deck , " Living in the stone age , its I pods now " Still my old cassette tapes were great . ( Not 8 track ) Then there 's the banks , safe and sound . Every man woman and baby have promised to bail them out if they go under . When I see what these fund managers were paying themselves in spite of the losses that they were making . And the salaries of the top executives it makes me quite angry . A lady going to the Bon Securs hospital started thinking I was bringing her the wrong way , be patient for a second says I , coming off Botanic Rd . That 's it on top of the hill . I thought it was somewhere else she says . Well I never heard that before . You bring a person to the place and they tell you it should be in another geographical location altogether , , , , even though they are there . I can 't fathom where the traffic blockages are coming from , when you get through the hold up there seemed to be no reason for it to be there altogether . Posted by
|
A high speed ferry belonging to Stenna line with a Welsh dragon on the side . It has been parked down at the Point depot for a few weeks . These boats are not cheap and need to be working 24 / 7 to pay the bills . A new skyline down near Sir John Rogersons quayRemember the conference center on which the work had stopped ? The latest news I hear is that it was built without planning permission being granted , so they can 't insure it so the work has stopped . Wow . . . . perhaps they will blame the new Polish guy , who will be innocent . This week I took the bull by the horns and tackled a job which I had been putting off , after the income tax I felt that it was important to have the seats covered in best leatherette . Christmas is coming and the people with full bladders will be getting into the car . No nasty surprises this year , just a quick wipe and a dash of Dettol and on I will go working . I was told of a guy in Drogheda who does a good job , so on Tuesday I drove over and got it done . They did a really good job and a lot cheaper than in Dublin . Do you want the number ? 041 9841302 . He takes the seats out of the car and makes the covers to measure really tight , I am told that they will not stretch and get loose , time will tell . I had to wait around for most of the day for them to do their magic but I was close to the dole office and it is the busiest place in town . It is hard to say if it the recession or if too many shopping centers have opened up in the town but a lot of shops in the town are closed up and even in the Laurence shopping center there was lots of vacant units . To add pain to the situation they are building a new shopping center around 2 miles out the Dublin road . This is to be open for Christmas . I pity anyone trying to make a living there . One of the guys who made the covers told me a tale of how peoples attitudes changed for the worse during the Celtic Tiger boom years . He bought a new suite of furniture from a guy he knew and trusted in Navan . But after a few months it collapsed , so he took a look at the frame and found it to bePosted by The Point opening soon . Now called the O2 venue . The lightship Kitywake lies in the foreground . At the Point " March without the people and you march into the night " Napoleon BonaparteWe had a budget and the people protested , they tried to tax the sick and force cut backs in education , the protesters are marching on the Bastille . Well here we are today ! Winter just around the corner , the clocks turned back ( daylight saving ) and the Dublin city marathon over for another year . The first lady across the line was on her first ever marathon , well done to one and all who took part , no use taking photos we have to work . It was a funny weekend with regard to work , there was very few people around and loads of taxis . I went home on Saturday and Sunday night night , made up some ground today Monday , loads of people coming back to the city after the weekend away . The Cork Jazz festival was the second big thing after the marathon here in Dublin . The old Garda were out with road blocks taking breath samples at random , can 't even begin to understand why they would pull a working taxi in and test them , do they think for a second that a working driver would drink ? While they are testing him chances are that another driver is slipping through the net . I learned one thing from a well pissed nurse though , my mate Alan was held up by a guy with a syringe a few weeks ago , it worked out OK in the end . She told me that you have nothing to fear from a blood filled syringe , we get needle stabs all the time , you just go to a doctor straight away and get an anti viral injection and you will be fine , I spoke to a second nurse and she told me that it is a series of injections , but you will have little to fear , she had just run the marathon in 4 hours 55 mins . and was going out to celebrate , I hope she is off tomorrow as she was wiped out with tiredness even though she was going out now . Now to the second thing I learned . A lady form Brighton over here needed to hire a car , she had lost her licence for speeding but she has had it back for over 2 years . Hertz wouPosted by Poster for the new must see show . Cassidys pub Camden St . where Bill Clinton was brought for his pint . A new magic show opens in Dublin , 4 years in the making and sure to thrill . When the Dublin run ends it goes to Las Vegas ( I kid you not ) I likes a bit of magic I do . Good magic gives you the most fun you can have legally without taking your clothes off . I must change my profile I do work days , but I have to work nights as well or I won 't eat , so many taxis so little time . Last Saturday at 1 . 30 am saw me in Fitzwilliam Sq . where a young drunk lady was waving me down . I stopped at the casino further down , but she shouted and ran up to me . " Why didn 't you stop " Now saying I didn 't see you would not have been the answer , there was no part of her body I could not see , she was blotto as well and alone . I 'm going to Leeson St . A U turn so , says I . This is So not the right direction , This is soooo the right direction says I . Man do you think I am stupid ? Well if you look straight ahead you can see Leeson St . Man I was so lost I was walking for hours . When we pulled in there was around 6 people looking for taxis . . . . All blottto like the folks of " Night of the living dead " I had to blow the horn to make them move away so that I could drive on , they were so drunk that they could not see that the car was empty . I thought how easy it would be if you were a rapist , Those girls would not know what happened . I don 't pick up single girls as a rule 2 or 3 OK . even single guys bitch and moan how they have walked and could not get a taxi . Lighten up , thank the guy who stopped and tell him what a great guy he was for stopping . I know that the background checks on taxi drivers are not what they used to be . I also know that there are cloned cars and cars being driven by unlicensed drivers . Now back to crime and punishment . I see from the paper that a guy was jailed for 6 years for fracturing a taxi drivers skull . the guy has a 107 previous convictions and was on bail for ramming a Garda car with a stolen car . I wonder how many years he would have had to serve iPosted by The new conference center from across the LiffyEarly morning dole Queue for unemployment benefit outside a post officeWell the recession is here like the chill in the Autumn air . The builders on the conference center got a nasty shock last Friday when the boss called them to order and told them that there was no money to pay them and to come back on Monday . 300 workers sent home I am told . The glaziers are the only ones working on the site as I write , look at the small yellow dots on the glass front . A lot of building projects are in serious trouble . Apartments and new homes stand finished with no buyers coming forward . The banks would not lend money to buyers anyhow . A lot of doom and gloom about , even the 8 % increase is being touted as a bad thing . Well the cost of adjusting the meter e75 then the cost of sealing it up again something like e95 is a BIT steep , considering its only a few minutes work . We will have to work a long time to get it back when you consider the falling incomes and the perception that the future is looking worse . I had 4 Polish girls laughing and joking in the car on Saturday night , the reason for the great joy ? They were breaking up and going back to Poland . Back to their studies where they will become responsible citizens in the new Europe . Bringing happy thoughts of Ireland home with them . As you will know , if you read this tripe that I churn out week after week . I believe that they are qualified well above the positions they hold here in Ireland . Yes they loved Ireland and they felt no racial abuse apart from not being able to secure good jobs in the beginning , now a new page is turning in their lives . So they return home wiser and happy . I wish them a good future . People like them are the very best kind of people . They left home and ventured over here , they were the brave ones taking a chance , not sitting on their backsides moaning . A bit like the Irish who fled to the USA , Australia and God knows where to avoid our financial blight in the 50s 60s and 70s . . When they came back they brought skills and Posted by Nothbrook clinic Northbrook Rd . This house at the top of Highfield rd . Rathgar . It has been completely rebuilt it must be the biggest house ever . It was a funny week , not too funny with vomiting and diarrhea on Sunday and Monday and then still fasting all that time until Wednesday . . . . Then I heard that this started off in Lourdes France where the Carmalite nuns went , and they all caught it and then brought it home . Makes sense of the expression holy s * * * . Doesn 't make me feel better knowing that , but I do feel better now at last . So my lucky spirit keeps sending me work and I can flit around this city and meet people on a mission and get them there . I went to Grafton St the other day and parked up at the Westbury hotel , I went down to talk to the flower sellers , they sell a sight of flowers , the flowers are all exotic and very special , they do very well . While I was there a guy of around 17 caught my eye . He had a distant look on his eyes you could really see that he was in a trance . As I watched he started twitching all over , arms , legs and head . The police really don 't care about people like him and if you are reporting something you have to slant it in a different way , or they will never respond . So I rang them and I explained that I was afraid he might attack someone , but he really needed help himself . I hung up the mobile and I stood beside the flower sellers for a while . After 5 minutes he came over and asked for directions to Bewleys cafe and he wandered off . . A young Garda arrived after a while and we pointed the guy out but I don 't know how well clued in he was ( he was very young ) this would not be a situation which would end well if the policeman did not use tact . Back to the car where a Scottish actor who is filming here wanted to go to Portmarnock golf club , , he was getting a bit upset about the drizzle when we arrived and when he paid me I passed him the change and he gave me e5 tip . Then he had no umbrella ! ! So I said take mine and leave it with the doorman tomorrow . . " If there had been no tip there would have been no uPosted by The statue of Molly Malone which is at the bottom of Grafton St . A statue of james Connolly . One of the leaders of the 1916 rising against the British executed . I just thought I would stick in a bit of you tube in case a certain lady looks up the blog , otherwise I have little to say today . Well I fell violently ill on Sunday so I was forced to take 2 days off , got back into the swing of things today . I got 3 good fares together one after the other each one over e20 . . Its great when that happens . I met an Italian girl going home after a hard days work in an American bank . " Any exciting holidays planned ? " " Why yes I am going to Buenos Aries to visit my boy friend " " Ah the tango " says I . . Why yes I love the tango and I am looking forward to doing tango there . " She has been doing tango lessons here in Dublin for the past few years . I hope she will visit the tango school which is run by a taxi driver . As far as I can find out he is a bit of a Micheal Flatley as he works on many shows . Lucky girl . This is LibertangoAnd this the masters of the tango dance Blessington basin used to be the reservoir for the Jeameson distilleryA good judge of a restaurant . Well getting back into the swing of things though " she who must be obeyed " is pointing to jobs to do . Not a hell of work on the streets so I can keep everyone happy . The photo is of a toilet in a Chinese restaurant in Parnell St . What a mess ! The walls had little bits of toilet paper stuck to the walls . That 's the kind of mess you get from clearing the drains . . . . . . But then you are supposed to hose down the walls and spray a bit of disinfectant around . That 's another place I won 't be visiting in a hurry . Sign of the times I see sandwich bars and high price coffee houses closing down . Restaurants are feeling the pinch now too . I got an e mail from Japan Z4 BMW sports car waits at Dublin port no reasonable offer refused . Must be bought today . High spec too . Talking of Japanese imports , did you know that the electrics , radio , sat nav , TV etc . will not work in Ireland . I had a wave band expander fitted in my car radio and I can now get the full range of FM stations instead of just one . The guy laughed when I asked for a radio with a tape deck , " Living in the stone age , its I pods now " Still my old cassette tapes were great . ( Not 8 track ) Then there 's the banks , safe and sound . Every man woman and baby have promised to bail them out if they go under . When I see what these fund managers were paying themselves in spite of the losses that they were making . And the salaries of the top executives it makes me quite angry . A lady going to the Bon Securs hospital started thinking I was bringing her the wrong way , be patient for a second says I , coming off Botanic Rd . That 's it on top of the hill . I thought it was somewhere else she says . Well I never heard that before . You bring a person to the place and they tell you it should be in another geographical location altogether , , , , even though they are there . I can 't fathom where the traffic blockages are coming from , when you get through the hold up there seemed to be no reason for it to be there altogether . Posted by
|
A high speed ferry belonging to Stenna line with a Welsh dragon on the side . It has been parked down at the Point depot for a few weeks . These boats are not cheap and need to be working 24 / 7 to pay the bills . A new skyline down near Sir John Rogersons quayRemember the conference center on which the work had stopped ? The latest news I hear is that it was built without planning permission being granted , so they can 't insure it so the work has stopped . Wow . . . . perhaps they will blame the new Polish guy , who will be innocent . This week I took the bull by the horns and tackled a job which I had been putting off , after the income tax I felt that it was important to have the seats covered in best leatherette . Christmas is coming and the people with full bladders will be getting into the car . No nasty surprises this year , just a quick wipe and a dash of Dettol and on I will go working . I was told of a guy in Drogheda who does a good job , so on Tuesday I drove over and got it done . They did a really good job and a lot cheaper than in Dublin . Do you want the number ? 041 9841302 . He takes the seats out of the car and makes the covers to measure really tight , I am told that they will not stretch and get loose , time will tell . I had to wait around for most of the day for them to do their magic but I was close to the dole office and it is the busiest place in town . It is hard to say if it the recession or if too many shopping centers have opened up in the town but a lot of shops in the town are closed up and even in the Laurence shopping center there was lots of vacant units . To add pain to the situation they are building a new shopping center around 2 miles out the Dublin road . This is to be open for Christmas . I pity anyone trying to make a living there . One of the guys who made the covers told me a tale of how peoples attitudes changed for the worse during the Celtic Tiger boom years . He bought a new suite of furniture from a guy he knew and trusted in Navan . But after a few months it collapsed , so he took a look at the frame and found it to bePosted by The Point opening soon . Now called the O2 venue . The lightship Kitywake lies in the foreground . At the Point " March without the people and you march into the night " Napoleon BonaparteWe had a budget and the people protested , they tried to tax the sick and force cut backs in education , the protesters are marching on the Bastille . Well here we are today ! Winter just around the corner , the clocks turned back ( daylight saving ) and the Dublin city marathon over for another year . The first lady across the line was on her first ever marathon , well done to one and all who took part , no use taking photos we have to work . It was a funny weekend with regard to work , there was very few people around and loads of taxis . I went home on Saturday and Sunday night night , made up some ground today Monday , loads of people coming back to the city after the weekend away . The Cork Jazz festival was the second big thing after the marathon here in Dublin . The old Garda were out with road blocks taking breath samples at random , can 't even begin to understand why they would pull a working taxi in and test them , do they think for a second that a working driver would drink ? While they are testing him chances are that another driver is slipping through the net . I learned one thing from a well pissed nurse though , my mate Alan was held up by a guy with a syringe a few weeks ago , it worked out OK in the end . She told me that you have nothing to fear from a blood filled syringe , we get needle stabs all the time , you just go to a doctor straight away and get an anti viral injection and you will be fine , I spoke to a second nurse and she told me that it is a series of injections , but you will have little to fear , she had just run the marathon in 4 hours 55 mins . and was going out to celebrate , I hope she is off tomorrow as she was wiped out with tiredness even though she was going out now . Now to the second thing I learned . A lady form Brighton over here needed to hire a car , she had lost her licence for speeding but she has had it back for over 2 years . Hertz wouPosted by Poster for the new must see show . Cassidys pub Camden St . where Bill Clinton was brought for his pint . A new magic show opens in Dublin , 4 years in the making and sure to thrill . When the Dublin run ends it goes to Las Vegas ( I kid you not ) I likes a bit of magic I do . Good magic gives you the most fun you can have legally without taking your clothes off . I must change my profile I do work days , but I have to work nights as well or I won 't eat , so many taxis so little time . Last Saturday at 1 . 30 am saw me in Fitzwilliam Sq . where a young drunk lady was waving me down . I stopped at the casino further down , but she shouted and ran up to me . " Why didn 't you stop " Now saying I didn 't see you would not have been the answer , there was no part of her body I could not see , she was blotto as well and alone . I 'm going to Leeson St . A U turn so , says I . This is So not the right direction , This is soooo the right direction says I . Man do you think I am stupid ? Well if you look straight ahead you can see Leeson St . Man I was so lost I was walking for hours . When we pulled in there was around 6 people looking for taxis . . . . All blottto like the folks of " Night of the living dead " I had to blow the horn to make them move away so that I could drive on , they were so drunk that they could not see that the car was empty . I thought how easy it would be if you were a rapist , Those girls would not know what happened . I don 't pick up single girls as a rule 2 or 3 OK . even single guys bitch and moan how they have walked and could not get a taxi . Lighten up , thank the guy who stopped and tell him what a great guy he was for stopping . I know that the background checks on taxi drivers are not what they used to be . I also know that there are cloned cars and cars being driven by unlicensed drivers . Now back to crime and punishment . I see from the paper that a guy was jailed for 6 years for fracturing a taxi drivers skull . the guy has a 107 previous convictions and was on bail for ramming a Garda car with a stolen car . I wonder how many years he would have had to serve iPosted by The new conference center from across the LiffyEarly morning dole Queue for unemployment benefit outside a post officeWell the recession is here like the chill in the Autumn air . The builders on the conference center got a nasty shock last Friday when the boss called them to order and told them that there was no money to pay them and to come back on Monday . 300 workers sent home I am told . The glaziers are the only ones working on the site as I write , look at the small yellow dots on the glass front . A lot of building projects are in serious trouble . Apartments and new homes stand finished with no buyers coming forward . The banks would not lend money to buyers anyhow . A lot of doom and gloom about , even the 8 % increase is being touted as a bad thing . Well the cost of adjusting the meter e75 then the cost of sealing it up again something like e95 is a BIT steep , considering its only a few minutes work . We will have to work a long time to get it back when you consider the falling incomes and the perception that the future is looking worse . I had 4 Polish girls laughing and joking in the car on Saturday night , the reason for the great joy ? They were breaking up and going back to Poland . Back to their studies where they will become responsible citizens in the new Europe . Bringing happy thoughts of Ireland home with them . As you will know , if you read this tripe that I churn out week after week . I believe that they are qualified well above the positions they hold here in Ireland . Yes they loved Ireland and they felt no racial abuse apart from not being able to secure good jobs in the beginning , now a new page is turning in their lives . So they return home wiser and happy . I wish them a good future . People like them are the very best kind of people . They left home and ventured over here , they were the brave ones taking a chance , not sitting on their backsides moaning . A bit like the Irish who fled to the USA , Australia and God knows where to avoid our financial blight in the 50s 60s and 70s . . When they came back they brought skills and Posted by Nothbrook clinic Northbrook Rd . This house at the top of Highfield rd . Rathgar . It has been completely rebuilt it must be the biggest house ever . It was a funny week , not too funny with vomiting and diarrhea on Sunday and Monday and then still fasting all that time until Wednesday . . . . Then I heard that this started off in Lourdes France where the Carmalite nuns went , and they all caught it and then brought it home . Makes sense of the expression holy s * * * . Doesn 't make me feel better knowing that , but I do feel better now at last . So my lucky spirit keeps sending me work and I can flit around this city and meet people on a mission and get them there . I went to Grafton St the other day and parked up at the Westbury hotel , I went down to talk to the flower sellers , they sell a sight of flowers , the flowers are all exotic and very special , they do very well . While I was there a guy of around 17 caught my eye . He had a distant look on his eyes you could really see that he was in a trance . As I watched he started twitching all over , arms , legs and head . The police really don 't care about people like him and if you are reporting something you have to slant it in a different way , or they will never respond . So I rang them and I explained that I was afraid he might attack someone , but he really needed help himself . I hung up the mobile and I stood beside the flower sellers for a while . After 5 minutes he came over and asked for directions to Bewleys cafe and he wandered off . . A young Garda arrived after a while and we pointed the guy out but I don 't know how well clued in he was ( he was very young ) this would not be a situation which would end well if the policeman did not use tact . Back to the car where a Scottish actor who is filming here wanted to go to Portmarnock golf club , , he was getting a bit upset about the drizzle when we arrived and when he paid me I passed him the change and he gave me e5 tip . Then he had no umbrella ! ! So I said take mine and leave it with the doorman tomorrow . . " If there had been no tip there would have been no uPosted by The statue of Molly Malone which is at the bottom of Grafton St . A statue of james Connolly . One of the leaders of the 1916 rising against the British executed . I just thought I would stick in a bit of you tube in case a certain lady looks up the blog , otherwise I have little to say today . Well I fell violently ill on Sunday so I was forced to take 2 days off , got back into the swing of things today . I got 3 good fares together one after the other each one over e20 . . Its great when that happens . I met an Italian girl going home after a hard days work in an American bank . " Any exciting holidays planned ? " " Why yes I am going to Buenos Aries to visit my boy friend " " Ah the tango " says I . . Why yes I love the tango and I am looking forward to doing tango there . " She has been doing tango lessons here in Dublin for the past few years . I hope she will visit the tango school which is run by a taxi driver . As far as I can find out he is a bit of a Micheal Flatley as he works on many shows . Lucky girl . This is LibertangoAnd this the masters of the tango dance Blessington basin used to be the reservoir for the Jeameson distilleryA good judge of a restaurant . Well getting back into the swing of things though " she who must be obeyed " is pointing to jobs to do . Not a hell of work on the streets so I can keep everyone happy . The photo is of a toilet in a Chinese restaurant in Parnell St . What a mess ! The walls had little bits of toilet paper stuck to the walls . That 's the kind of mess you get from clearing the drains . . . . . . But then you are supposed to hose down the walls and spray a bit of disinfectant around . That 's another place I won 't be visiting in a hurry . Sign of the times I see sandwich bars and high price coffee houses closing down . Restaurants are feeling the pinch now too . I got an e mail from Japan Z4 BMW sports car waits at Dublin port no reasonable offer refused . Must be bought today . High spec too . Talking of Japanese imports , did you know that the electrics , radio , sat nav , TV etc . will not work in Ireland . I had a wave band expander fitted in my car radio and I can now get the full range of FM stations instead of just one . The guy laughed when I asked for a radio with a tape deck , " Living in the stone age , its I pods now " Still my old cassette tapes were great . ( Not 8 track ) Then there 's the banks , safe and sound . Every man woman and baby have promised to bail them out if they go under . When I see what these fund managers were paying themselves in spite of the losses that they were making . And the salaries of the top executives it makes me quite angry . A lady going to the Bon Securs hospital started thinking I was bringing her the wrong way , be patient for a second says I , coming off Botanic Rd . That 's it on top of the hill . I thought it was somewhere else she says . Well I never heard that before . You bring a person to the place and they tell you it should be in another geographical location altogether , , , , even though they are there . I can 't fathom where the traffic blockages are coming from , when you get through the hold up there seemed to be no reason for it to be there altogether . Posted by
|
" In the same way , older women are to be reverent in behavior , not slanderers , not addicted to much wine . They are to teach what is good , so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and children , to be sensible , pure , good homemakers , and submissive to their husbands , so that God 's message will not be slandered . " - Titus 2 : 3 - 5 Today is the last day of Pastor Appreciation Month , and I really do deeply appreciate my pastor . I know his heart more than any other members of his flock because my pastor is also my husband . I hear many of the thoughts he thinks as he prepares his sermons throughout the week . I hear him say often times , as the Holy Spirit has been with him in his study , " This is going to be a good one ! " or hear his heartbreak as he knows this week 's morning message is going to be a difficult one to share . He never preaches his opinion , only what he knows to be the right message from God 's Word for his people . Last month , as I was reading through Ezekiel , I couldn 't help but be reminded of my husband . In Chapter 33 , we see how God made Ezekiel to be a watchman to Israel , to guard it from dangers yet unseen by the Israelites . The word of the Lord came to me ; Son of man , speak to your people and tell them : Suppose I bring the sword against a land , and the people of that land select a man from among them , appointing them as their watchman , and he sees the sword coming against the land and blows his trumpet to warn the people . Then , if anyone hears the sound of the trumpet but ignores the warning , and the sword comes and takes him away , his blood will be on his own head . Since he heard the sound of the trumpet but ignored the warning , his blood is on his own hands . If he had taken warning , he would have saved his life . However , if the watchman sees the sword coming but doesn 't blow the trumpet , so that the people aren 't warned , and the sword comes and takes away their lives , then they have been taken away because of their iniquity , but I will hold the watchman accountable for their blood . As for you , son of man , I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel . When you hear a word for My mouth , give them a warning from Me . If I say to the wicked : Wicked one , you will surely die , but you do not speak out to warn him about his way , that wicked person will die for his iniquity , yet I will hold you responsible for his blood . But if yNow , son of man , your people are talking about you near the city walls and in the doorways of their houses . One person speaks to another , each saying to his brother : Come and hear what the message is that comes from the Lord ! So My people come to you in crowds , sit in front of you , and hear your words , but they don 't obey them . Although they express love with their mouths , their hearts pursue unjust gain . Yes , to them you are like a singer of love songs who has a beautiful voice and plays skillfully on an instrument . They hear your words , but they don 't obey them . Yet when it comes - and it will definitely come - then they will know that a prophet has been among them . - Ezekiel 33 : 30 - 33 HCSB ( emphasis mine ) If you 've expressed verbally an appreciation for your pastor this month , know that what he desires more than anything is for change to take place in your heart , to see you grow more and more into God 's image and to be holy , set apart from the world . I believe God made my husband and me a great team when he put us together as husband and wife and as parents , but sometimes , pride gets in our way . I think the reason we don 't tell our kids exactly what we expect of them ( proactive parenting ) when we 're together is because we think " we 've got this " just a little too much . Sometimes , I think we need that bit of confidence , but we need to be careful that we 're including God in that " We " team . When I 'm alone with my children on an outing , I realize that it may be a little bit more difficult for me because I 've only got two hands for all the little people . It forces me to remind them that my youngest two must stay seated in the stroller ( yep , I do strap the baby in ) or grocery cart , and that my two older ones must hold onto the stroller or cart . No running around . No asking for things we don 't have on the list . I go down the whole list of P 's and Q 's , and . . . they do it . They need the preparation and the reminder . Doesn 't God give us the same when we need it too ? Giving Christmas gifts provides the perfect opportunity to give gifts that encourage behavior or character qualities that God would have us teach to our children . We found a great way to do just that last Christmas with our four - year - old daughter . We give each of our four children only one gift each Christmas in an effort to keep the focus on Christ 's birth . In exchange , we try to make birthdays big celebrations of the gift of each human life God has given us . With all the gifts that grandparents , aunts and uncles , and church family bestow upon our children , they aren 't missing out on anything by merely receiving one gift from their parents . Last fall , the " cleaning " toys our daughters shared fell apart . The pieces of the little mop were done , falling out of the plastic head . The vacuum would no longer run no matter how fresh the batteries . Our four - year - old was heartbroken . She so loved helping Mommy with all the chores , being a diligent worker at home . The thought occurred to my husband that we should just find her a vacuum cleaner that would be small enough for her to actually begin to take on the vacuuming chore with me in a real way . Without much hunting at all , the perfect adjustable handled yellow vacuum cleaner was found . Our daughter was so eager to find out what was inside the biggest box under our tree ! And once she opened her gift , she was ready to get started helping around the house ! Some assembly was required , so once Daddy finished his part , our daughter began helping vacuum the house . Some weeks , we divide the work , and it takes us half as much time to vacuum as when I previously did it alone . Other weeks , she and her older sister switch off rooms , and I get the week off from vacuuming ! I 'm so happy to see my daughters preparing to be homemakers in their own homes one day ! I 'm glad someone else is writing about this controversial topic instead of me ! A friend of mine from seminary days is a contributor for Prayer of Hannah , and while I began reading because of our friendship , I have come to enjoy reading all of the ladies ' thoughts there . One of my blog " followers " in also a contributor at POH . This month , they are writing about birth control , and I thought I 'd let my readers know in case you 're interested . I 've linked to only one article there , but click on the sidebar on " birth control " to read all of them . The only thing I 'd like to share on this topic is about an experience I had with my OB - Gyn before the birth of my fourth child . Natural family planning doesn 't aid my husband and me with the spacing of our children . I still find myself pregnant sooner than I anticipate each time we attempt to implement it . No problem because we want a big family and believe God has greatly blessed us with each precious gift He has given us . However , we were interested in talking to my Christian doctor about an IUD . We had questions about it because I knew of several Christian women who used them happily . His immediate response ? No way ! He knew of our pro - life convictions and believes IUDs work in an abortive way because ovulation still occurs , implantation of a potentially fertilized egg is how they stop pregnancy from occuring . It 's amazing how many Christian women , otherwise pro - life thinkers , use these . Talk to your doc about your concerns . I praise God for a Christian doctor who kept me from using one ! I was so excited to see that Amy at Raising Arrows is going to be hosting a blog link - up on Tuesdays that is perfect for me ! It will be all about large family organization ! I need to learn so much in this area , while I do have a little to share too . If you don 't have a large family , you may still be able to benefit from the ideas shared . I 've got to confess that my flesh is pretty weak . Anytime I see a young mom , and she wasn 't at church the previous Sunday , I try to let her know I missed her . It really is completely in love , not at all judgmental , until . . . she says something like , " It 's just so hard to get the kids ready on time , " or " We overslept . Sorry . " Then , I know my heart has a long way to go because my holier - than - thou attitude starts creeping into my thoughts . There 's no need to apologize to me because I was able to enjoy myself in corporate worship whether or not that woman and her family were there . I know these are excuses because I get four children ready mostly by myself . Here 's the better thing to do . Rather than becoming prideful , I must teach younger women the tricks of preparing my children for worship . This is discipleship . We begin preparing for Sunday morning long before we get up that day . First , laundry is prepared during the week . Adult clothes are washed on Tuesdays here , and the kids ' clothes get washed on Wednesdays and Saturdays . No major digging around to find what we need . The change of seasons sometimes means I may have to hunt on Saturday morning to pull out appropriate attire , but not usually . Before the kids even get their baths on Saturday night , I have everyone 's clothes hanging in one location . For me , that 's the exercise bike sitting in our den . It 's not pretty , but I know where the clothes are on Sunday morning . We can be even more prepared if I have the children pull out all of the right shoes the night before . If the season calls for them , I also find all of the tights we need . Everyone gets a bath the night before and goes to bed on time . For us , that 's 8 : 00 for the kids and 10 : 00 for mom and dad . No one is allowed to doze off during worship . Pull out everything you need to fix hair and have a general idea of how everyone 's hair will be fixed before retiring for the evening . I have three girls and love to fix their hair in as many different ways as possible . Women at church have asked me if I get up at dawn to fix their hair , but I try not to spend more than twenty or thirty minutes on all three heads of hair unless we just happen to have all kinds of free time once we get started . If you 're new to doing hair , don 't try something new the first time on a Sunday morning . At least practice first to have some idea of how long it will take , so you can plan accordingly . Set the alarm clock if you need it . We can actually sleep in on most Sunday mornings , at least a little bit in comparison to weekday mornings . Our Sunday school starts at 10 : 00 , two hours later than school for us . Relax and enjoy the benefits of your preparation . Even with my preparations , things can still go wrong . Satan will try to spoil your best efforts . Don 't let him win . Turn on some worship music to prepare your heart . * Full disclosure : I have the benefit of living next door to our church . I know that helps ! In the past year , I 've not arrived to Sunday School on time except once ! I let the baby sleep for his morning nap until the last minute , but only he and I ran late . When he dropped the morning nap , we were able to go to church on time again this past Sunday . Use your judgement . I believe a well - rested baby is a happy baby for nursery workers . With my first , I did set the alarm clock to wake earlier on Sunday morning so that she could get her nap out and still get to Sunday School on time . Blogging opens one up to criticism . That 's one of the chief reasons I didn 't write a blog for a long time . I have been fortunate to avoid open criticism since I started Titus 2 Moments , but just last week I read someone else 's comments on an article she had written as part of a linky party at Time Warp Wife . This woman had written " Why We Choose Public School " , a potentially controversial topic for a group of very conservative women , and in the blogosphere , it seems more of the stay - at - home set are homeschoolers as well . A comment had been left by someone saying that the blogger was just taking the easy way out and ignoring God 's mandates in how she should rear her children . Poor girl . There were many more positive comments , so I hope the blogger felt more encouragement rather than bashing . I feel I see both sides . I was educated in one of the best school districts in the state of South Carolina and was very well prepared for college . I chose to go to an incredible private , Southern Baptist college , but being an elementary education major I felt more prepared to teach in the public school system than anywhere else . My professors taught me to live and die by the state and national standards as I prepared lesson plans , though I did have an " educate the whole child " mentality . I worked a few long - term subs in public schools since I graduated in December , but ultimately signed a contract and taught two years in a private , Christian school in Louisville , Kentucky . Teaching first - graders in a private school was an eye - opening experience for me . These were not just wealthy children , but many of the parents were struggling to put their kids in a Christian school because they believed it was what was best for their families . I 've come to see now it is much more affordable to homeschool than to try a private school route . I did have one parent in those two years I did feel was just paying me to do all of the teaching , nevermind that he also needed help at home every day , but on the whole , I had parents who worked with me strongly . And for me personally , it was great practice for parenting to be able to use scripture to correct and train children 's hearts , not just their minds , something I didn 't have the opportunity to do in public school . I do believe there 's a large segment of parents choosing public school because it is the easiest route to take . I do not ignore that many of those parents are not eduating their children in many Christian disciplines . That 's inexcusable . Right now , my oldest daughter is in public school . I expect that will change over the next couple of years , but today , I am happy with public school . I 've written about the ways it has been blessing for us in the first year . Still , homeschooling is likely on the horizon , but I may write about the reasoning for that when we start . Until then , I 'll do what I can to be involved while I " homeschool preschool " my three others at home . Here is a way my involvement in my oldest daughter 's education has worked in a situation in this last week . I 've decided to call her Princess M to make explaining easier . Princess M and her classmates were given stickers to use in a picture and use as a writing prompt . Princess M told her teacher she did not want the Halloween sticker because we don 't celebrate Halloween in our family . Not being with me at all times has at least twice now , that I 'm aware of , given Princess M the opportunity to make decisions in the way in which she was trained . I 'm proud of that . Instead , Princess M got a sticker of a seashell and still was able to write a story . This little conversation with her teacher prompted her teacher to ask me what she could do to make sure Princess M wasn 't left out and that we were not offended in any way . Good teacher . By the way , we don 't require any special care . Princess M will throw away anything she 's given with a skull on it . A mere pumpkin is not offensive . The teacher also let me know of a unit the first - graders would be studying in art . I didn 't care for it at all , and addressed my concerns with the art teacher in a kind manner , letting her know that Princess M would not be in art as that particular unit was studied , but that I would be happy to work with her using the same techniques and medium that the other students would be using . The art teacher appreciated my willingness to do the extra work on my part , but just decided instead to do a different unit . This week , I am thankful that other parents with the same types of concerns as mine , but who must work outside the home and may not be able to homeschool their children , can work with the school system . If we always keep the lines of communication positive with teachers whether in public or private schools , we can be a part of educating our children . We can still be the ones who pray with , teach Bible to , and disciple our children should we not be able to homeschool . AND , I am so thankful God enabled me to be home with my children in their most formative years so that when they do need to make decisions without me around , their world view is like this : ( in the words of Princess M ) " Why do they celebrate Hall * We 'll be celebrating Reformation Day October 31 . * Linking up to Gratituesday : I write today with a sense of victory ! God blessed me to successfully rid my home of an unwanted visitor : a lizard ! My husband was doing some work outside Tuesday , and unfortunately , with the coming and going in and out of the house , the little lizard inadvertently made his way into our home . My husband was unable to get him out , so the lizard hung out in our study for a couple of days . My husband was gone today , so I had screamed a few times as I walked into the study . Yesterday , the lizard was actually sitting on the warm computer screen . Try as I might , I couldn 't get the lizard with a crab net we had as our only means of catching him . Finally , he made his way onto my desk chair while I had the door open . I took the whole chair outside , while my second daughter was cheering me on . " Good idea , Mommy ! " she cried . I wanted to write today to high school girls in particular . There was the petition going around on Facebook ( actually I only saw it on one friend 's page ) , but it was encouraging people to sign for the president to consider forgiving federal college loans as a means to stimulate the economy . Do huh ? Proverbs 22 : 7 says , " The rich rule over the poor , and the borrower is a slave to the lender " . Consider your life goals . A few years ago , a friend started an e - mail thread amongst several of us whose husbands had attended the same seminary . She wanted to know how we should advise young women about career and college goals . There were many interesting thoughts shared about biblical womanhood and how God does or doesn 't use our college and career experience as we live out those roles . One point that stuck out to me personally was that many of us were indeed using our education in our homes as wives and mothers , but that some of us also felt ( as did I ) that if we 'd had a different type of degree , we might could still use it for pay while primarily staying home with our children . For example , if I 'd done cosmetology , I could set my own hours and work from home . Or , the medical field provides numerous opportunities to work one day a week or for a small number of hours within a month , enabling a woman to even be able to provide medical insurance for her family without an exorbitant amount of time outside the home . If you primarily want to be home with your children or want to be your husband 's helper more than anything , consider your options before you go to college . Don 't discredit technical colleges . These can either be a jumping off point toward earning your bachelors degree eventually or you could begin your career sooner after spending less money . Again , back to the medical field again - many positions there pay more money than positions in other fields . Less money out of pocket initially with potentially a larger paycheck later . Many employers , in many fields , want skilled employees rather than employees with big time degrees . Put the pedal to the medal . Choose a major and stick with it . OK , OK , yes God could lead you down a different path than you had planned . Jumping from track to track could you cost you . Some of the classes you had previously taken may not apply to the new degree program , and it might take you longer to get your degree than you originally intended . Then , all of those scholarships you earned will most likely run out after four years of full - time classes . You can take more than twelve hours at a time if you are a " traditional " student . Trust me . I had a higher GPA with twenty hours than I ever did with sixteen ( the minimum I ever took at once ) . For me , knowing I had to stay on top of it , forced me to manage my time better and be about the business of studying . Have you started shopping for Christmas yet ? Not yet ? What about making your shopping lists ? That 's where I find myself . Last month , I actually began coming up with gift ideas for my children for my parents and others that ask for those ideas . I have some ideas in my head for the shopping I intend to do , and I hope to make some orders soon so that I will be free come December to enjoy the season ! All this planning , preparing , and dreaming about celebrating the birth of Christ has me thinking about the biblical account . I can 't help thinking about Mary receiving word from Gabriel that she would conceive the Son of God by means of the Holy Spirit . How appropriate that she would run to the other woman Gabriel mentioned , her older cousin Elizabeth ! Not much is said about the time the two women had together , but Elizabeth does encourage younger Mary 's heart telling her , " How could this happen to me , that the mother of my Lord should come to me ? For you see , when the sound of your greeting reached my ears , the baby leaped for joy inside me ! She who has believed is blessed because what was spoken to her by the Lord will be fulfilled ! " ( Luke 1 : 43 - 45 ) . Now , we had already seen the obedience of Mary 's heart as she said to Gabriel ( in verse 38 ) , " I am the Lord 's slave . . . May it be done to me according to your word , " but I can only imagine Mary needed the encouragement from Elizabeth . Many a time in my own life , I have set my heel , determined in my heart , and committed to the Lord something , but have found that at just the time I 've needed it most , God has sent me word by way of an older woman to encourage me . That 's what I believe Elizabeth must have been like to Mary . Verse 56 tells us that Mary stayed with Elizabeth about three months before returning home . The birth of John comes just after that . Even though Mary missed the birth , I 'm sure the ladies enjoyed being pregnant at the same time . It is such a fun thing to have overlapping pregnancies with a friend or family member . The anticipation of multiple lives is a joyous time . I was one of four teachers in my school at the time expecting babies during my pregnancy with my first child . Another friend living in the same apartment complex had her first child just three months later . My brother and his wife had their first child just nine days before my son was born , and I was also able to share that time of pregnancy with a friend at church . If a younger woman is soon to become a mother , whether by natural birth or through adoption , she does well to look to older women who 've gone through the joys and trials of early motherhood to have someone to pray with and share in her own new adventure . I know many of you are just sick that Christmas decor is already out in the stores , and many of you just want to enjoy Thanksgiving first . I 'm right there with you , but God can use these times to help us to focus on the details of the birth of the long awaited Savior . I 'm thankful that God gave us the example of Elizabeth ! I have been a follower of Jesus since I was seven . I have been married to my best friend since July 2002 . We have three girls ( ages 7 , 5 , and 4 ) and one boy ( 2 years ) . A native of SC , we now live in Georgia where my husband is the pastor of a great church . Before having children , I worked as a first grade teacher , but now I love being a stay - at - home mom . I have a passion to learn from older women and teach younger women . Contact me at titus2moments ( at ) hotmail ( dot ) com .
|
★ Me : Oh . My . Gosh ! I can 't believe I have Issie , Devyn and Cassidy here on Magical Urban Fantasy Reads ! I am totally star - struck ! Welcome ! ! ! We rarely get to learn much about the side characters in a book series , and I just adore all three of you ! So I think it 's totally awesome that I get to ask you some questions ! ☆ Devyn : Let 's not talk about that movie . I think any time you feel as if your town has been invaded by evil pixies , it has been most likely truly invaded . However , I am writing a thesis on Invasion Scenarios of Pixies : What to look out for . It should be published soon . ☆ Devyn : Some smell like Dove soap . Kings may leave a glistening trail of pixie dust , and an occasional queen will also leave that residue , but in general ? No . There is no way to discern a glamoured pixie from a human . ☆ Cassidy : Pixies are tough . They aren 't like vampires . They don 't only come out at night . But like vampires , they can 't come into your house unless you invite them inside . So , basically stay home . Don 't let anyone else in . Be a hermit . ☆ Issie : I wish I could talk about bunnies or something happy . No offense , blogger ! It 's just so much death all the time . I feel guilty now about complaining . ★ Me : When you first learned about pixies you only knew them to be evil . How hard was it for you to accept that they are not all evil ? And what 's it like to have a really good friend who is a pixie ? ☆ Devyn : It was hard . It is so much easier to demonize creatures as ' other . ' And when you are in a war , it is even more tempting . You don 't want to think that your enemy has a family or has any good elements to them . You want to always be right , always be the moral one , always be ' good . ' But there are so many shades of good and evil , and your physical nature doesn 't determine your moral integrity or your worth , not now , not ever . ☆ Cassidy : It 's really all about love . You can love anyone - pixie , were , elf , fairy , hedgehog , school superintendent . There isn 't one thing that defines ' pixie , ' any more than there is one thing that defines ' human . ' I think that was a good lesson to learn . ☆ Cassidy : I 'm really trying to learn about my species . And also make my own candles and incense . Zara 's always getting hurt , and I 'm running out of funds to buy them all the time . ☆ Devyn : My parents told me as soon as I could comprehend language . Were - eagles usually turn at the age of the three , which is quite different from other weres . We tend to be not see things well at close range and jump off of furniture . As toddlers , this makes us a bit accident prone . That is a con . Other cons include : Molting , craving raw meat , vision issues obviously . Pros ? Well , flight . We are quite good in fights . Talons are remarkably handy . ☆ Cassidy : I had no idea until recently . The first sign is a feeling . A tingling in the hands in the shape of a circle . The sense of peace in the woods - a feeling of communion with nature . I 'm not sure if I know the pros and cons of being an elf because I don 't actually know what it is to be an elf . Unlike Devyn , I 've had no other elves to train me . I am so sorry . I don 't feel like I am answering well . ☆ Issie : You guys are so nice . But , yeah . . . It 's okay . Zara 's always telling me that it 's good to be human , good to be who you are , and to accept it . But sometimes it feels limiting . I 'd like to be super strong or have talons or be able to heal people . In a battle , I 'm not really the best fighter , obviously . But I 'm okay with that now . My mom ? Oh my gosh . My mom . . . . Kitchen knives taped to my forearms . . . Let 's just say that I am looking forward to college . ★ Me : Issie , you are pretty in touch with pop - culture ! Who is your idol ? And who is your dream man in the fame world ? ☆ Issie : I totally love Buffy . TOTALLY LOVE BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER ! ! ! ! Sorry . I got excited . Um . . . Dream man in the fame world ? Other than Devyn ? Devyn ! Cover your ears . I kind of like the vampire guy on the UK version of Being Human . ☆ Issie : I like bunnies . You know that , don 't you ? I am actually very good at Angry Birds . Oops ! Sorry Devyn . I promised Devyn I 'd stop playing that . He finds it offensive . Zara is at the center of an impending apocalypse . True , she 's successfully rescued Nick from Valhalla , but it simply isn 't enough . Evil pixies are ravaging Bedford , and they need much more than one great warrior ; they need an army . Zara isn 't sure what her role is anymore . She 's not just fighting for her friends ; she 's also a pixie queen . And to align her team of pixies with the humans she loves will be one of her greatest battles yet . Especially since she can 't even reconcile her growing feelings for her pixie king . . . As some of you are already aware , I am a majorly obsessive fan of Sweet Evil ! To top it all off , Sweet Evil has the hottest of all of my fictional boyfriends ! Kai is so unbelievably yummy ! So obviously I 'm more than excited that I had the opportunity to be a part of Wendy Higgins blog tour ! ! ! You can find my review of Sweet Evil HERE ! Wendy Higgins : Like a freight train to the brain . Seriously though , I think this is the hardest question to answer because I just don 't know . It was like all of my life 's experiences , all my hopes and failures , the people I 'd known , the books I 'd read , my spirituality , my desire to do something more with my life - - it all sort of came together in that moment and I was bombarded with ideas and scenes . I spent the whole first day brainstorming , accepting some ideas , throwing others out . It was a rush of inspiration unlike anything I 'd ever experienced . I wrote and wrote for seven weeks and then collapsed at around 82k , finished . Wendy Higgins : The first draft took seven weeks , but as " inspired " as it was , it was terrible . Atrocious . It needed a TON of work , so I spent the next year rewriting , deleting , rewriting , revising . Wendy Higgins : Haha ! Love it . In seventh grade this very quiet boy got on stage during a talent show and shocked me to the core with a passionate rendition of Tone Loc 's " Wild Thing . " I couldn 't look at him the same after that . He was suddenly mysterious and dangerous , rather than shy . I 've had a weakness for drummers ever since . Wendy Higgins : Anna is my sweet girl , but Kaidan was the most fun to write . He challenged me and got in my head . I know his full story and deepest desires , but he is so guarded . It was hard to figure out how he would act to show his underlying feelings , while not giving them away verbally . Exhausting , that boy . My biggest joy is spending time with my children . Watching them learn and grow . Sometimes I go on dates with my cutie husband , and that 's always fun . : ) Every now and then I even get to have a girls ' night out with my girlfriends - woohoo ! My worst quirk is just zoning out to imagination - land at inconvenient times ( you know , writing a scene in your head while someone is trying to have a conversation with you ? It 's terribly embarrassing . ) I 'm also ADD , so I have to write in silence , alone . Wendy Higgins : I have too many . Most of them have to do with freak - accidents that could befall my kids - - I 've discovered I have a very demented imagination when it comes to ways to die . But personally , my absolute biggest fear is spiders . Especially those fuzzy , hairy ones . I can 't even look at pictures or watch them on television . * violent shiver * Wendy Higgins : No . : ( I used to , but to be honest I haven 't watched anything regularly for two years . I used to watch television every night with my husband , but now those are my " work hours . " And I 'm not a fan of daytime TV or news , so it ' Me : Imagine our world dominated by demons , vampires , zombies and werewolves . What weapons would you keep on hand for survival ? And if you would have to ally yourself with one of these creatures , which would you side with and why ? Wendy Higgins : Wowza ! As for weapons , a cross / crucifix might kill two birds with one stone ( demons & * traditional * vampires ) . But how the heck do you kill a zombie ? I think I 'd need to find a sledgehammer , and practice my swing . I 'd ally with the werewolves since they 've got the whole " loyal dog " thing going on . I wouldn 't trust any of the others . . . especially the demons . Tenderhearted Southern girl Anna Whitt was born with the sixth sense to see and feel emotions of other people . She 's aware of a struggle within herself , an inexplicable pull toward danger , but Anna , the ultimate good girl , has always had the advantage of her angel side to balance the darkness within . It isn 't until she turns sixteen and meets the alluring Kaidan Rowe that she discovers her terrifying heritage and her willpower is put to the test . He 's the boy your daddy warned you about . If only someone had warned Anna . Publisher 's Summary : On the night seventeen - year - old Jeremy Glass winds up in the hospital with a broken leg and a blood alcohol level well above the legal limit , his secret crush , Susannah , disappears . When he begins receiving messages from her from beyond the grave , he 's not sure whether they 're real or if he 's losing his grip on reality . Clue by clue , he gets closer to unraveling the mystery , and soon realizes he must discover the truth or become the next victim himself . But as her birthday draws near , her entire world shatters with a startling revelation and she 's caught between love and Fate . One will do anything to protect her . One has been lying to her since the beginning . Once the gods have revealed themselves , unleashing their wrath , lives will be irrevocably changed . . . and destroyed . Me : I 'm thrilled to welcome Elizabeth Norris author of the 2012 debut and the totally awesome Unraveling ! You can find my review of Unraveling HERE ! Thank you for stopping by Elizabeth ! ! ! Elizabeth Norris : I 've written a number of other things . Unraveling is the first to be published . Most of my previous novels are buried on my computer or still waiting for me to finish them . Elizabeth Norris : I really like all the characters , but my favorite is Alex . He 's a good friend . He 's there for Janelle - - he listens to her and supports her , but he also isn 't afraid to stand up and call her out on something if he thinks she 's wrong . Their friendship to me isn 't about him being secretly in love with her or anything , but rather it 's about the fact that they each found " family " in each other . Elizabeth Norris : In terms of where I write , I change it up a lot . I 'll write sitting at my kitchen table , sitting on the couch , at a coffee shop , or even the New York Public Library . Doing different things keeps me from getting complacent . But every time I start writing , I reread the last scene that I wrote the day before and I edit it a little . I might change a few lines or even just fix spelling errors , but that gets me in a good mindset to keep going . Elizabeth Norris : I 'm a planner . When I wrote Unraveling I had about a thirty page outline that I divided up into chapter breaks so that I knew where each scene would begin and end . Some of that changed a little as I wrote , but I had a really good framework that kept me on task . I 'm also very aware of how much I need to write each day in order to get the draft done on time . I don 't always meet that goal and some days I go over , but I 've got it in the back of my mind which helps me stay on time . It 's hard to write that way , but now that I have deadlines I can 't just write whenever the mood strikes me . Elizabeth Norris : I did pretty minimal research . A lot of the details in Unraveling , either the science or the law enforcement aspects are things that I read about beforehand just because I found them interesting . For instance , a few years ago after watching the first season of Lie to Me , I read a lot about facial expressions and what that can tell people if they know how to look . And a friend of mine works for the FBI so I asked him a few questions about what he looks for to know people are lying , and both my research and my friend 's answers came into play a little in certain situations when Janelle was either trying to figure out if someone was telling the truth or if she was trying to lie . Elizabeth Norris : I have some weird fears . The first one is teeth . Now , I 'm not actually afraid of teeth themselves . But I get really easily weirded out when people talk about teeth or procedures that happen to or related to teeth . And I 've had a few panic attacks when I have to go to the dentist . ( I 'm understating a little but it 's embarrassing ) . Me : This is totally FREAKIN ' awesome ! I was tempted to get a picture of some teeth and add it to this post . . . but I didn 't want to scare you away . LoL Publisher 's Summary : Two days before the start of her junior year , seventeen - year - old Janelle Tenner is hit by a pickup truck and killed - as in blinding light , scenes of her life flashing before her , and then nothing . Except the next thing she knows , she 's opening her eyes to find Ben Michaels , a loner from her high school whom Janelle has never talked to , leaning over her . And even though it isn 't possible , she knows - with every fiber of her being - that Ben has somehow brought her back to life . But her revival , and Ben 's possible role in it , is only the first of the puzzles that Janelle must solve . While snooping in her FBI agent father 's files for clues about her accident , she uncovers a clock that seems to be counting down to something - but to what ? And when someone close to Janelle is killed , she can no longer deny what 's right in front of her : Everything that 's happened - the accident , the murder , the countdown clock , Ben 's sudden appearance in her life - points to the end of life as she knows it . And as the clock ticks down , she realizes that if she wants to put a stop to the end of the world , she 's going to need to uncover Ben 's secrets - and keep from falling in love with him in the process . Summary : The demon Lilith has been destroyed and Jace has been freed from her captivity . But when the Shadowhunters arrive to rescue him , they find only blood and broken glass . Not only is the boy Clary loves missing - but so is the boy she hates , Sebastian , the son of her father Valentine : a son determined to succeed where their father failed , and bring the Shadowhunters to their knees . No magic the Clave can summon can locate either boy , but Jace cannot stay away - not from Clary . When they meet again Clary discovers the horror Lilith 's dying magic has wrought - Jace is no longer the boy she loved . He and Sebastian are now bound to each other , and Jace has become what he most feared : a true servant of Valentine 's evil . The Clave is determined to destroy Sebastian , but there is no way to harm one boy without destroying the other . Will the Shadowhunters hesitate to kill one of their own ? Only a small band of Clary and Jace 's friends and family believe that Jace can still be saved - and that the fate of the Shadowhunters ' future may hinge on that salvation . They must defy the Clave and strike out on their own . Alec , Magnus , Simon and Isabelle must work together to save Jace : bargaining with the sinister Faerie Queen , contemplating deals with demons , and turning at last to the Iron Sisters , the reclusive and merciless weapons makers for the Shadowhunters , who tell them that no weapon on this earth can sever the bond between Sebastian and Jace . Their only chance of cutting Jace free is to challenge Heaven and Hell - a risk that could claim any , or all , of their lives . And they must do it without Clary . For Clary has gone into the heart of darkness , to play a dangerous game utterly alone . The price of losing the game is not just her own life , but Jace 's soul . She 's willing to do anything for Jace , but can she even still trust him ? Or is he truly lost ? What price is too high to pay , even for love ? At Barinkoff Academy , there 's only one rule : no students on campus after curfew . Phoenix McKay soon finds out why when she is left behind at sunset . A group calling themselves night students threaten to taste her flesh until she is saved by a mysterious , alluring boy . With his pale skin , dark eyes , and mesmerizing voice , Demitri is both irresistible and impenetrable . He warns her to stay away from his dangerous world of flesh eaters . Unfortunately , the gorgeous and playful Luka has other plans . I mentally stomped on the intimidation their perfection brought into my mind and said , " Excuse me . " The group froze , startled by my words . The girls had their brows raised and the boys stopped mid - speech , mouths agape . They stared at me with eyes the shade of onyx stones . I smiled and gave them a little wave . The boy a step ahead of the rest recovered first . His stunning features went from shocked surprise to intense interest . He reminded me of a hawk eyeing its prey . I gulped . They snickered . The boys looked at each other while the girls continued to stare , muffling their laughter by delicate hands . I seemed to be the butt of some joke . " You broke the rule . " The boy 's grin turned predatory . The students formed a loose semi - circle in front of me . My gaze darted from face to face . Hunger filled their eyes . The image of lions about to chase down a gazelle came to mind . I mentally shook my head . I was in the mountains not the Serengeti for crying out loud . I took a small step back and cleared my throat . " Can any of you give me a ride back to the dorms ? " The boy wagged his forefinger like a metronome . " Ah , that 's unfortunate for you . " One of the girls pinched the bridge of her nose . " Eli , you can 't possibly - " " It 's forbidden , Eli , " another boy interrupted , pronouncing the word " forbidden " like a curse . The nervous murmur at the pit of my stomach grew louder . Six against one . Not good odds . Instinct told me to cut my losses and run . Bad enough I faced expulsion , now it seemed like weird , beautiful people who 'd suddenly appeared on campus wanted to beat me up . No , scratch that . Judging from the way they studied me , beating me up wouldn 't satisfy them . Something more primal prowled behind their looks . I definitely wasn 't going down without a fight . Years of self - defense and hand - to - hand combat classes had me prepared . While other children from rich and important families got bodyguards , I got defense training . But I think my father meant for my skills to go up against potential kidnappers , not against other students who may or may not be crazy . Oh God ! Maybe I stepped into a parallel universe or something when I reentered Barinkoff . " None of the students are supposed to be on campus , " I said . Then , realizing my mistake , I added , " Okay , I know I 'm not supposed to be here either . If one of you gives me a ride back to the dorms , I won 't say anything about all this . Let 's pretend this never happened . I didn 't see you , you didn 't see me . " He 'd said " Night Students " like the words were capitalized . I didn 't know Barinkoff held classes at night . What was going on here ? Eli smiled with just one side of his mouth and said to the group , " She 's right , no one will have to know . We 're the only ones here . And it 's been so long , don 't you agree ? " The rest of them nodded reluctantly . " What 's been so long ? " I challenged . I fisted my hands , ready to put them up if any of them so much as twitched my way . " Flesh . " Yep , parallel universe . " Yes , " he said . " And yours smells so fresh . " Someone grabbed my shoulders from behind and yanked me back before I could wrap my mind around the meaning behind Eli 's words . In a blink , I found myself behind someone tall . Someone really tall . And quite broad . And very male . I realized he wore the same clothes Eli and the other boys did . Not good . He was one of them . Although … I cocked my head , raking my gaze over him . He seemed born to wear the uniform , like he was the pattern everyone else was cut from . My eyes wandered to long , layered , blue - black hair tied at the nape by a silk ribbon . Even in dim light , his hair possessed a sheen akin to mercury . I looked down . The boy 's long fingers were wrapped around my wrist like a cuff . His fevered touch felt hotter than human standards , hot enough to make me sweat like I was standing beside a radiator but not hot enough to burn . " I must be mistaken , Eli , " the boy who held my arm said in a monotone . " Correct me . Did I hear you say you wanted to taste the flesh of this girl ? " A hush descended on us . It had the hairs at the back of my neck rising . How was it possible for the atmosphere to switch from threatening to dangerous ? Unable to help myself , I peeked around the new guy 's bulk . Eli and his friends bowed . They all had their right hands on their chests . " Demitri , I 'm sure you misheard me , " Eli said . So the guy standing between me and the person who said he 'd wanted to taste me was named Demitri . I like the sound of his name . Demitri . So strong , yet rolls off the tongue . Definite yum factor . Demitri ignored my protest and continued to address Eli . " So , you threatened to taste her flesh . " His fingers tightened their grip around my wrist . " In the interest of investigating this matter further , I invoke the Silence . " Before I could ask about what was going on , Demitri yanked me down the hall toward the library . But why there ? Oh , maybe we were getting my things . No , wait , he couldn 't have known about that . Everything was too confusing now . Eli and the others didn 't try to stop us when we passed them . Demitri 's cold command must have carried power . Handsome and powerful , never a bad combination on a guy . We reached the heavy double doors in seconds . He jerked one open effortlessly . I 'd needed all my strength just to squeeze through that same door earlier . To him , the thick wood might as well have been cardboard . I raised an eyebrow and mentally listed the benefits of going to gym class . " Why are we here ? " I asked after my curiosity overpowered my worry . I 'd almost forgotten how frightened I 'd been right before Demitri showed up . I wasn 't above accepting help from strangers . Especially from gorgeous dark - haired strangers with hot hands and wide shoulders . Demitri kept going , tugging me along , snaking his way deeper into the library . I had to take two steps for every stride his legs made . I tried to stay directly behind him , praying we didn 't slam into anything . He stopped suddenly and I collided with him . It felt like slamming into a wall . " Hey , " I said , momentarily stunned . " A little warning would be nice ! " He faced me , and I gasped . His eyes resembled a starless night , deep and endless . Their intensity drilled through me without pity , seeming to expose all my secrets . I felt naked and flustered beneath his gaze . When Kate Evangelista was told she had a knack for writing stories , she did the next best thing : entered medical school . After realizing she wasn 't going to be the next Doogie Howser , M . D . , Kate wandered into the Literature department of her university and never looked back . Today , she is in possession of a piece of paper that says to the world she owns a Literature degree . To make matters worse , she took Master 's courses in creative writing . In the end , she realized to be a writer , none of what she had mattered . What really mattered ? Writing . Plain and simple , honest to God , sitting in front of her computer , writing . Today , she has four completed Young Adult novels . " Sometime in your life , Allison Sekemoto , you will kill a human being . The question is not if it will happen , but when . Do you understand ? " Allison Sekemoto survives in the Fringe , the outermost circle of a vampire city . By day , she and her crew scavenge for food . By night , any one of them could be eaten . Some days , all that drives Allie is her hatred of them . The vampires who keep humans as blood cattle . Until the night Allie herself is attacked - and given the ultimate choice . Die … or become one of the monsters . But it isn 't easy to pass for human . Especially not around Zeke , who might see past the monster inside her . And Allie soon must decide what - and who - is worth dying for . My Take : The Immortal Rules by Julie Kagawa is brilliant in so many ways ! First , Julie Kagawa wrote it ! Second , we have a post - apocalyptic world with vampires in control ! How could it not be brilliant , amazing , awesome , horrific and gruesome ? Julie doesn 't hold back even from the very beginning of The Immortal Rules as she paints a horrid picture of the world that Allie lives in . As the story progresses it only gets so much more brutal . After a horrifically tragic attack on Allie and her crew , Allie becomes the one and only thing she hates the most and now she has to live with it ! The one thing that I loved most about The Immortal Rules is Allie ! She has strong survival instincts , she 's tough and she 'll throw herself in front of danger to protect others . And even though I already thought Allie was a heroine in the beginning of the book , the heroine she becomes by the end is not even a close comparison ! Allie is majorly kick butt and she totally rocks ! One scene after another throughout the whole , entire book brings increasing heart - pumping horror , intensity , action , tragedy … and betrayal ! And those betrayals were the hardest parts of the story for me to swallow … because each and every time Allie was faced with ANOTHER betrayal , my heart broke for her . And of course the best part of the story is the beautiful but complicated romance that progresses throughout the book . But in the depths of the club - in the depths of her own despair - Araby will find more than oblivion . She will find Will , the terribly handsome proprietor of the club , and Elliott , the wickedly smart aristocrat . Neither is what he seems . Both have secrets . Everyone does . Aislinn tends to the Summer Court , searching for her absent king and yearning for Seth . Torn between his new queen and his old love , Keenan works from afar to strengthen his court against the coming war . Donia longs for fiery passion even as she coolly readies the Winter Court for battle . And Seth , sworn brother of the Dark King and heir to the High Queen , is about to make a mistake that could cost his life . Enter to win a signed copy of Darkest Mercy by Melissa Marr ! ! ! This giveaway is open for US Shipping only . Please read my Official Giveaway Rules before entering and then simply fill out the form to enter ! Giveaway ends April 10 , 2012 at 11 : 59 EST ! * Ended * Since then , Mac 's life has been turned upside down . She is being haunted by Amy in her dreams , and an extremist group called the Trackers has come to Mac 's hometown of Hemlock to hunt down Amy 's killer : A white werewolf . Lupine syndrome - also known as the werewolf virus - is on the rise across the country . Many of the infected try to hide their symptoms , but bloodlust is not easy to control . Wanting desperately to put an end to her nightmares , Mac decides to investigate Amy 's murder herself . She discovers secrets lurking in the shadows of Hemlock , secrets about Amy 's boyfriend , Jason , her good pal Kyle , and especially her late best friend . Mac is thrown into a maelstrom of violence and betrayal that puts her life at risk . Kathleen Peacock 's thrilling novel is the first in the Hemlock trilogy , a spellbinding urban fantasy series filled with provocative questions about prejudice , trust , lies , and love . My take : Even though I 've been getting mixed opinions about Hemlock , I started reading it with an open mind and discovered that I actually really liked it ! I was immediately drawn to the story from the very first page . One of the things I loved about Hemlock is that it 's not only an Urban Fantasy but also a murder mystery ! I loved how I was swept into all the crazy left and right story twists while Mackenzie was investigating who killed her best friend ! Twits like … Who is a werewolf ? What really happened the night Amy died ? Who , if anyone , should Mackenzie trust ? There is one surprise after another all the way through Hemlock and the end even has a pretty awesome twist ! ! ! The characters in Hemlock are all pretty likable . Considering everything that Mackenzie had to go through from her past and now present … she is one tough chick ! So , even though I 'd like to tell you more about the other characters I liked , I think doing that would spoil the story for you . Because , while reading Hemlock , I found that I wanted to like each of the characters , but at the same time I wasn 't really sure if I could or should trust ANY of them . And as far as the romance goes , I of course fell for the " other " guy ! Publisher 's Summary : Last spring , Nikki Beckett vanished , sucked into an underworld known as the Everneath . Now she 's returned - to her old life , her family , her boyfriend - before she 's banished back to the underworld . . . this time forever . She has six months before the Everneath comes to claim her , six months for good - byes she can 't find the words for , six months to find redemption , if it exists . Nikki longs to spend these precious months forgetting the Everneath and trying to reconnect with her boyfriend , Jack , the person most devastated by her disappearance - and the one person she loves more than anything . But there 's just one problem : Cole , the smoldering immortal who enticed her to the Everneath in the first place , has followed Nikki home . Cole wants to take over the throne in the underworld and is convinced Nikki is the key to making it happen . And he 'll do whatever it takes to bring her back , this time as his queen . As Nikki 's time on the Surface draws to a close and her relationships begin slipping from her grasp , she is forced to make the hardest decision of her life : find a way to cheat fate and remain on the Surface with Jack or return to the Everneath and become Cole 's queen . Everneath is a captivating story of love , loss , and immortality from debut author Brodi Ashton . Enter to win a signed copy of Everneath by Brodi Ashton ! ! ! This giveaway is open for US Shipping only . Please read my Official Giveaway Rules before entering and then simply fill out the form to enter ! Giveaway ends April 9 , 2012 at 11 : 59 EST ! * * ENDED * * Dear followers , fans and peeps ! Some of the books I review on Magical Urban Fantasy Reads are provided to me for free by either the publisher or author in exchange for my honest review . Please know that I am in NO WAY compensated for my reviews . All opinions are mine and I am not required to give a positive review in exchange for a free book ! But some of the purchase links on my blog are monetized through places like Amazon , Book Depository or Barnes & Noble . I 'm an obsessive reader ! I primarily read YA , Paranormal Romance , Urban Fantasy , Dystopia , Post - apocalyptic & Sci - Fi . I have a serious problem with falling in love with fictional characters . Gotta love them Vampires , Werewolves , Nephilim , Demons , Angels , Faeries , Pixies , Warlocks , Witches , Succubus . . . you get it ! Because I could go on & on .
|
We had a marriage conference at our church this weekend . The guest speakers were Guy and Denise Richardson . Here are some of their thoughts from the weekend for us to all ponder - most divorces occur in the 3rd , 13th or 23rd year . - most are a result of not a major blow out but a slow leak - we should never even joke about getting a divorce - there are no perfect people and no perfect marriages - if both of you think the exact same way then one of you is not needed - the way I feel controls most of what I do therefore I need to think God 's thoughts after him Is 26 : 3 , Phil 2 : 5 . II Tim 1 : 7 - jealously is a result of the fear of losing - men think of the engagement / marriage as an end while women think of it as a beginning - we have an internal dictionary that is made up of things we have seen or heard in our home . we come to our marriages with this dictionary and it is different from our spouses . We need to talk about our dictionaries so that our spouses will be clued in to why certain things bother us or mean a great day to us ie One lady said her husband didn 't love her because he never took the trash out , her daddy loved her mama and he always took the trash out and her mama never even had to ask . - your home needs to be an emotional safe place , you should be free to share and not worry that your ' old ' mistakes will always be brought up again and again . no one shares their heart with the judge . - if you expect perfection from your family members and your goal is perfect or nothing , you will get nothing every time . - empathize before you advise - build your family members up to their faces and behind their backs - happy children come form homes where their parents love each other - men get a great sense of satisfaction out of crossing things off their to - do list , they need to learn to ' waste ' time with their families - Fathers - your family is playing Follow the Leader - lead your family don 't manage it , leadership requires personal example and involvement - don 't make your family responsible for your emotions - You make me so mad - Mark 7 : 15 - what isPosted by I read this last night in my January Reader 's Digest . I laughed until I cried and then told it to Kaitlin and Marisa and we laughed again . I hope you enjoy ! If the Boot Fits , Wear It By Trish SinclairIt was the first snow of winter - an exciting day for every child but not for most teachers . Up until now , I had been able to dress myself for recess , but today I would need some help . Miss Finlayson , my kindergarten teacher at Princess Elizabeth School near Hamilton , Ontario , had been through first snow days many times in her long career , but I think she may still remember this one . I managed to get into my itchy wool snow pants . But I struggled with my jacket because it didn 't fit well . It was a hand - me - down from my brother , and it made me wonder why I had to wear his ugly clothes . At least my hat and matching scarf were mine , and they were quite pretty . Finally it was time to have Miss Finlayson help me with my boots . In her calm , motherly voice she said , " By the end of winter , you will all be able to put on your own boots . " I didn 't realize at the time that this was more a statement of hope than of confidence . I handed her my boots and stuck out my foot . Like most children , I expected the adult to do all the work . After much wiggling and pushing , she managed to get the first one into place and then , with an audible sigh , worked the second one on too . I announced , " They 're on the wrong feet . " With the grace that only experience can bring , she struggled to get the boots off and went through the joyless task of putting them on again . Then I said , " These aren 't my boots , you know . " As she pulled the offending boots from my feet , she still managed to look both helpful and interested . Once they were off , I said , " They 're my brother 's boots . My mother makes me wear them , and I hate them ! " Somehow , from long years of practice , she managed to act as though I wasn 't an annoying little girl . She pushed and shoved , less gently this time , and the boots were returned to their proper place on my feet . With a great sigh of relief , seeiPosted by Last Thursday night we went to see The Tony Award Winning - 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee . We love the National Spelling Bee . This play was written by someone who loves it too . Seeing this has been high on Kaitlin 's to - do list since she first saw it advertised on the National Spelling Bee . We were thrilled when it came to our city . We knew before hand that several would be chosen from the audience . We were relieved when none of us were called . I believe from the way they acted on stage that they were not surprised to be called . There were 6 cast spellers and 4 from the audience . The other cast members were a pronouncer , an announcer and my favorite the comfort counselor . The comfort counselor was gangster who was assigned to do this as his community service . The spellers spelled in order and their stories were told at the same time in a very clever way . The audience spellers were mixed in with the cast spellers . The only questions that were asked the pronouncer were ' May I have a definition ? and Can you use it in a sentence ? ' In the National Spelling Bee , when the spellers ask a question , the answer is given in a way to be a help to the speller . Not in this play and that led to many laughs . One word was ' cow ' . The speller asked for the word to be used in a sentence . The sentence was ' There is a cow ' . You could tell when it was time for the audience spellers to go back to their original seats because their words got INCREDIBLY hard . All the audience spellers were off the stage but one . She went up to spell her INCREDIBLY hard word and shocker of all shocker , she spelled it correct ! She was as stunned as the cast was . They all broke out into hearty laughter . She was called back up immediately to spell again . She was given an even more INCREDIBLY hard word . When she asked for a definition , she was told their wasn 't one . ( Lots of Laughter ) As soon as she got one letter incorrect , the bell was rung and she was on her way back to her seat . The cast spellers had their stories . One had a lisp , one was a scout , one woPosted by I love sports and as I home schooled my children I brought my love of sports into their schooling . Here are a few thoughts for those who have a sports loving child and you can use these whether you home school or not . You will never have to teach the 7 times tables . They just know them from watching football games . So you can quiz them with their favorite teams and say " Parker , if the Cardinals score 3 touchdowns and miss one extra point , how many points do they have ? " Teach geography as they roll the names of teams off their tongue . Where are all the NFL teams cities located ? Get a blank USA map and write them in . When March Madness gets here ( this will begin this year on March 12 when the different tournaments start . The big dance starts on the 19th ) get out your USA maps out and find out where the colleges and universities are located and put them on your map . Through out the year , they will hear these names again . I can just hear Gavin saying " Mama , isn 't Marquette in Milwaukee ? " They will get attached to a certain name that is fun to say . ( Kaitlin still loves to roll Gonzaga off her tongue ) Learn all you can about that school or who it is named after . If you child loves baseball watch a few games of the College World Series . Almost all the teams that make it in are from warmer climates . why ? teach them about the different weather across the USA . Those teams in colder climates don 't have as long a season . When your children are small , you need to find a neutral interest that you share with each of your children . When they are teenagers you will be able to go to this interest , when you cannot agree on anything and still communicate . Sports is a good interest to have then . You can get blank USA maps at home school supply stores . This was my way to teach my children about something I love but you have loves too . Find ways to teach your children those things . One of the perks of staying at a Disney Motel is you get extra hours at the parks . We took advantage of this several times . There is a new roller coaster at Animal Kingdom called Everest . Andrew , Taylor , Kaitlin , John and Marisa used extra hours on our last day to ride this new ride . They were up and had the car packed by 7am . They were the only ones on the bus to Animal Kingdom from our motel . They LOVED the ride and were able to ride it twice and get to to EPCOT by 9am . UJ and AE and Carl and I were at the bus stop at 8 . We made our way to EPCOT . We got to see Mickey and Minnie as they arrived at the park . We raced to Soarin and rode it . It is one of my favorite rides . You are on a swing of sorts and you are lifted into the air in front of a screen . You soar through the air in California . As you pass the Redwoods , you can smell evergreen and when you go through an orange grove , you can smell the oranges . It is wonderful . When we got off the ride , we met A , T , K , J , and M . That day seems very short . Andrew wanted to be on the road back to Valdosta by 5 . We ate lunch in Japan and it was delicious . We didn 't really stay together on this day . Carl and I went to American and heard the beautiful acappella singers . If you have never done this , you must . It happens 30 minutes before every show that takes place in America . Go into the rotunda and sit on the floor by the inner circle on the floor . No one else will be sitting there but they will follow when you do . As soon as the singers come out they will praise you and tell everyone to join you . Epcot has a place where you can stand in line and see lots of characters - Mickey , Minnie , Donald Duck , Pluto and Goofy . The folks taking the pictures will take your picture with their Disney camera and then if you ask they will with your camera too . When we walked up to Donald and he saw that Andrew had on Mickey ears , he took the ears off of Andrew and handed them to someone not with our group so that they would not be in our picture with him ! Donald also was quite taken with MariPosted by This is a picture of us from Hollywood Studios . We wore our ' ears ' every morning and had our picture made in them . How fun . It is hard to believe that two weeks ago today we were in the magical world of the Magic Kingdom . We left our motel early so we could be at the park and see the train pull into the station and all the characters get off and welcome me ( okay us and several thousand others ) to the park for the day . We got in and hurried to Space Mountain . I got two rides on this ride because Carl was pushing the wheelchair at this point and we went right inside . Carl still had on his sunglasses and couldn 't see where he was pushing me . I became well acquainted with the wall as we made our way through the line . When he realized how much he was bumping me into the wall , he gave the pushing over to John . We then went to Buzz Lightyear and then onto Splash Mountain . Uncle Charles and Aunt Frances left us at this point to catch their flight back to Atlanta . Their flight was so delayed that they ended up staying at the airport until that evening . They didn 't get home til around midnight . I wish they could have been with us longer . One of the best one liners from the trip came about this time in the day when the riding group went to ride Big Thunder Mountain . Andrew tried to convince UJ to ride with them . UJ said " No , I 'll ride Big Thunder Bench " We all enjoyed that ! One ride that UJ will ride is Pirates of the Caribbean . Pirates is a boat ride mostly in the dark . Taylor rode next to UJ . UJ is an interactive rider with a running conversation the whole ride . He is saying things like " Oh my , they 're shooting at us now . " " That big drop is going to do us in . " Pirates has a small and I mean very small drop . It is somewhat like the slope in your bathtub . UJ talked so much about the DROP that when the slight slope happened , Taylor asked Andrew when the drop was going to happen . She laughed out loud when she found out it had just happened . We had lunch at Crystal Palace . It was a wonderful lunch and I highly recommend it . Lots Posted by Disney is just magical . We decided that on our next trip to only do Disney . On Saturday we got up early , checked out of Universal and moved into Port Orleans . As we made the transition from one motel to another , from one park to another , Kaitlin misplaced her phone . She checked the car and purse and needed to check in Uncle John 's car . She called for Andrew to help her . The doorman at the motel heard her calling Andrew 's name . He began calling Andrew 's name too . She found her phone and the doorman greeted Andrew by name the rest to our visit . : ) Our first park was Hollywood Studios ( not MGM anymore ) . We got our fast passes for Toy Story on our way to Tower of Terror and the Rockin Roller Coaster . UJ and I rode the bench while the group rode . After that we went to the Beauty and The Beast show . Taylor was in charge of tickets and she and Andrew also picked out all our meals and made our reservations . They did a great job on both they tasks . Our first Disney meal was at Prime Time . We love this restaurant . You are seated by your ' cousin ' or ' brother ' . ' Mama ' is in the kitchen cooking your food . The food is good home cooking . You are seated at a fifties table with Formica everywhere . The other dinners in your room are your relatives , cousins from Indiana or wherever . No elbows on the table , no phones at the table , no tattling to name a few of the rules . Your ' brother ' will make you stand up , if you violate a rule , while he has the rest of your family say ' Shame , shame , shame ' If you are a repeat offender , you must stand with your nose on the wall or he 'll give you away to another family or you must stand and sing ' I 'm a little teapot ' . When Uncle Charles realized that no phones at the table was a rule , he decided to call UJ and have him answer and get into trouble . The only problem with his plan was . . . he got caught calling UJ . We laughed so hard as UC was standing with his nose up to the wall . He vows revenge . The toy story ride is fantastic . It is a arcade style ride , where you are trying to shoot your gun and rack up poPosted by Andrew went off call and we headed down the road early on the 31st . We were in Florida at 8 : 45am and Kaitlin was thrilled to be in the same state as Tim Tebow . As we drove to Orlando we saw cars going to bowl games in that area . We saw Iowa , SC , GA and MI State fans . Taylor was given the task of finding out tickets prices for Universal and Disney . She found that at Costco you can buy a 3 month pass to Universal for 90 . 00 . We were looking for 3 day tickets . As we were in line , getting our tickets printed with our names , we heard other 's buying tickets at the gate . They were paying 95 . 00 for a single day ticket . Wow ! How about a hand for Taylor ! Universal consists of two parks - Islands of Adventure and Studios . These parks are small enough to walk between the two . We began at Islands on our first day and stayed there all day . Our second and third days we hopped between parks starting at one and ending at another . We stayed in a motel that was on the Universal site . This provided two big perks . We would walk to the parks and there was a special fast line at the rides for motel folks . We headed right to The Hulk . This coaster is unique in that the coaster is shot like a cannon ball not caught on a chain to get it 's momentum . Carl brought walkie - talkies with us to the park . He had one and Uncle John had the other . Uncle John rode the bench with me on most rides . Carl would let UJ know when they were on the next car and then I 'd get the camera ready . This was so much fun . I felt sorry for the folks standing near us who kept wondering if their folks were on that car or maybe the next one . They rode Dueling Dragons , the Mummy , Dr Doom to name a few . I could ride Spiderman as did UJ . One of my favorites . Day two we headed back to Islands and rode lots of the rides using the fast pass line . We also had Uncle Charles and Aunt Frances with us now and they like to ride the rides too . The pictures below were taken by me as Kaitlin found the best place for me to be to get some good shots . Here again the wonderful walkie talkies helpPosted by We left on Monday the 29 and we drove . We made it to Taylor and Andrew 's 14 hours later . The Christmas lights in the small south Georgia towns were amazing . I especially enjoyed the lights in Sylvester , GA . On the 30th Carl went to work with Andrew . Andrew had gotten permission for that to happen and sweet Carl got up after only sleeping 7 hours . Carl had to wear special boots , hard hat and 100 % cotton clothes . I was moved with the whole idea of the father - son bonding time , that they both worked in the same industry and Carl understood what Andrew did , and that Andrew wanted his papa to go with him to work , that I committed a big faux pas . I asked Andrew to have someone take their picture at work ! The look on Andrew 's face told me all I needed to know . There is no picture . Silly Mama . That evening we opened our gifts to and from Taylor , Andrew , Uncle John and Aunt Elaine . Uncle John and Aunt Elaine joined us about 3 in the afternoon and were with us until we parted on the 6th . Wow ! It sure takes feeling bad to appreciate feeling good . Today I feel good . It was such a blessing last week to have the family of God minister to us in so many ways . Thanks to Clare for the powerade slushies from Sonic , to KimT for the Lysol , to Sheryce for the toothbrushes and flowers , and to JanR for the best food in the world . They were all so sweet but they sure didn 't want to ' get ' what we had so they would leave it at the front door and call us when they were back in their cars . We all understood but it was funny too . John bounced back soonest and was so glad to have food to eat . He waited on us when he was better . We all made it to church yesterday but I went to bed at 7 last night and slept til 6 this morning . My friend , Kay , has been at the hospital round the clock with her daddy who had cancer surgery on the 31 of December . When I was at my sickest , I prayed for Kay and her daddy . They would have traded places with me in a heart beat and I knew it . I hope you feel good today ! We have been on vacation and it was a wonderful vacation and I should start at the beginning but I must start on our way home . The stomach virus and a 12 hour drive home don 't go well together . I am speaking from experience . I woke up at Andrew and Taylor 's house at 5 : 00am on Tuesday and my first thought was , whoa , I am getting too old to go and go and go . My head and tummy didn 't feel too great but my spirit was soaring so off we went . We opened the Chickfila in Tifton at 6 : 30 . After a quick breakfast we told Andrew and Taylor and John and Elaine good by . Now fast forward to 2 : 00pm . We are now at a motel in Tupelo , MS . It was either the fourth time I had to completely change all my clothes or the pouring rain so that every time I got sick in the car , Kaitlin and Marisa gagged and couldn 't roll down the window to get a breath , that made for the stop . Carl has nerves of steel . He drove in the POURING RAIN while he handed me bags to throw - up in as he had to move over three lanes of traffic to get me to a bathroom . During this he calmly said to John " Hand your mother something else , son , the bag is now leaking . " He never raised his voice or lost his cool . I knew he would take care of me . We checked into a wonderful motel and I got in a wonderful bed . It wasn 't moving and that helped a great deal . John , Marisa and Carl went to a laundromat so I would have clothes to wear and Kaitlin stayed to be my nurse . She put lotion on my feet and got me cool wash cloths for my head . Carl stayed with me while John , Marisa and Kaitlin went to eat supper with Chris . I was sad not to have a visit with him but thankful that he could get J , M and K out of the sick room for awhile . Blessing that we saw from our day on the road . No one was ever in any bathroom that we stopped at along the road . The motel in Tupelo had two rooms ready at 2 in the afternoon . Because of the rain the motel room was dark and I fell right to sleep . I was the only one at the time with the virus - notice I said at the time , we all have it now . I plan to tell you allPosted by Lauren Liess Lake houses feel like summer to me ! Most of my life I lived near or even in a house on a lake growing up . My previous house was actually als . . . Hi Everyone , First MUSICA ! I hope you received your Willard ! If not , don 't worry , it just started going out this morning and it takes a while these days , . . . " God is seldom early , but never late " ( Mother Teresa ) . This has been our experience this past month ! We would like to rejoice with you by sharing how God h . . . It 's summer and I 'm taking the bull by the horns . We have a serious routine mapped out . I 'm not even going to pretend that I 'm laid back about it . It is my . . . Last year I read almost 100 books . This year 's number is not going to be quite so high . During January and February , I averaged about a book a week . I k . . . Rick Warren 's daily Podcast is one of my favorites ! Today , he encouraged us to avoid asking " why " when confronted with unexplainable troubles in life . Aski . . . Charlie Gillespie Freeman was born last Thursday at 7 : 55 a . m ! He weighed 8 lbs 2 oz ( our smallest baby ) and 20 inches long . Charlie is named after my grand . . . Hello ! Yes , it has been awhile , hasn 't it ? Life has been crazy at my house . I truly thought once I had retired and . . .
|
It 's Christmas week and you know what that means . I 'm going to be completely slacking off . At home , at work and on this blog . I can 't guarantee that you 'll see another post from me this week but I 'll do my best . I can tell you that there will be no more Friday Roundups until the new year , but you already know that if you read last Friday 's post . However , I hope to have something fun for you next week in the spirit of wrapping up the year . I sure do hope that you finished all of your shopping . I have not . When I was out in California for work on Thanksgiving week , my wife did all of the shopping that we needed to do and because we had agreed before my trip that we would not be exchanging gifts , I thought I was all good . Somehow , during all the confusion , Dee completely forgot that we weren 't exchanging gifts and she got me a gift . Now I have to get her a gift . I will most likely do this today . I hope you left some stuff for me ( or Dee , youknowwhatimean ) . Do you like Fridays ? I sure do . Know what else ? This is the last Friday Roundup of 2010 . Eat it up and lick the plate clean . This Week in MindsiltMonday : I offered you some of my random thoughts . Tuesday : I told you how I felt about the daily grind . Thursday : I was so pissed off about the daily grind that I didn 't post anything on Thursday . Whoops . You know what I don 't like ? The daily grind . I don 't like that I have to do it and I don 't like that someone named it " the daily grind . " Eff that guy . The last thing I need is some well - known name that makes the thing that I already hate to do sound just as bad - - if not worse - - than it already is . Grind ? It 's like I 'm in the stone ages using an enormous stone wheel to grind down corn so that I can make cornbread . Eff that . That sounds horrible . Why the hell would I choose to do that every day . I wouldn 't . I 'd much rather go into a climate controlled office and sit at a desk in an interior office with no windows or ventilation and stare at a computer all day with my only respite from that dungeon being a few overly long , overly boring meetings . That sucks , but at least I 'm not grinding shit , right ? So eff " the daily grind " and the daily grind . Plus , the people that actually say " the daily grind " are assholes . They say it like it 's the funniest thing they 've ever heard . " The Daily Grind , right ? Ha , ha , ha ! " It 's like we 're all in on some kind of inside joke where we all actually love our day jobs but pretend to hate them because that 's what you 're supposed to do . Eff you . I actually hate my day job so stop giving it names and making it sound like it 's hilarious . It 's not . It 's a drag . Should we call it " the daily drag " ? Is that any better ? Because we drag our asses around all day . Why don 't we just call it what it is ? Giving up . It 's weird as hell to be nervous before a performance . I haven 't been noticeably nervous before a show in a very , very long time . However , I 've never done stand up before . I was nervous as hell before my set but once I stepped on stage I felt good . It 's awesome when your wife does all of the Christmas shopping . I just wish she could shop for her own gift as well . That 's how much I hate shopping . I 've gone from a guy who refuses to take any kind of supplement to someone who has a veritable pharmacy in my desk drawer . It makes a difference . I feel better . String up the lights , the Friday Roundup is back ! I know you 've missed it . It 's missed you , too . Time for some random funnery . This Week in MindsiltMonday : I announced my return from California ( and to blogging ) . Tuesday : I wondered again if it is just me or … Thursday : You got to read about some of the Christmas things I love . Blog Post of the WeekThis wasn 't posted this week , but it is too funny to pass up . If you have or have had dogs you will love this story about moving into a new home with dogs . Tweet of WeekFrom Donald Glover : " Every time I use my credit card & buy something expensive , then a black hair product the same day , I get a call from fraud protection . # Ha " See it here . Video of the WeekThese mathematical doodles have been blowing up the Internet this week . I 'm sure you 're quite confused right now . You 're thinking that I seem more like the type of guy who would hate Christmas . Well , I don 't . I like Christmas . I don 't love Christmas . It 's not my favorite time of the year - that would be the beginning of football season - but I like it just fine . In the spirit of the season , I thought I would share with you some of my favorite Christmas things . Feliz Navidad by José FelicianoI love this song . It 's fun and bouncy and Dee and I have fun singing along . I 'll sing " Feliz Navidad " and she 'll respond with " Do - do - do - DO - Doooo . " It 's awesome and hilarious . Next time you see us we 'll do it for you . Egg NogPut . It . In . Me . I love me some egg nog and Christmas time is the only time you can get it . I can 't get enough and I don 't even need to mix it with alcohol . I 'll drink that shit straight for lunch . Sometimes my lunch consists solely of egg nog in December . The Holiday TrainIf you 've lived in Chicago you know what I 'm talking about . For the Holiday season the CTA dresses up a train with lights and other holiday decorations and they play Christmas music in the cars . There 's even a flatbed car with a huge sleigh that Santa rides in . Oh , and they pass out candy canes . It 's pretty sweet . A Christmas Together by John Denver and The MuppetsI love this whole album . Every Christmas I break it out and listen to it . My grandmother used to play this every Christmas when all the grandkids went to her house to unwrap gifts . That 's why I love it . Also , it 's awesome . " Christmas is coming , the goose is getting fat … " Watching Ruthie unwrap her giftsWe usually get Ruthie something for Christmas and we wrap it up with some extra wrapping paper . We toss it on the floor in front of her and watch her go to town . It 's ridiculous how excited she gets and it 's just about the only time we encourage her to tear something to pieces . Father Christmas by The KinksI know , there are three different music entries on this list . I probably could have just written that I like Christmas music , but I don 't necessarily like all Christmas music . These three entries are by far my favorite . This one even lets me be a bit of a scrooge while still getting into the Christmas spirit . You gotta love a Christmas song in which they threaten to beat up Santa . I bet you 've either been wondering what the hell has been going on for the past three weeks or you haven 't even noticed that my last post was on November 15th . Yeah , November 15th . That 's a long time ago . There 's been a Thanksgiving since then . If you 've guessed that I was busy prepping a delicious Thanksgiving feast for my family , you couldn 't be more wrong . In fact , I was nowhere near my family on Thanksgiving . I was in California . Yes , California . Why would anyone spend their Thanksgiving in California ? Well , sometimes you don 't have a choice . Sometimes work requires that you go out to California over the Thanksgiving holiday so that 's what I did . Don 't worry , I still managed to find turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy . They have those things in California . Who knew ? I thought they only had avocados , raisins and dirty , dirty hippies in California . They also speak English . Anyway , I was pretty much working non - stop when I was there so I didn 't make time to post here . Instead , I opted for meals and sleep . Excuses , I know . You expect your bad reality program reviews and random bits of crazy . I have no right to deny you those things . In fact , I 'm going to try to make it up to you with the video below . It 's not safe for work because it repeats the phrase , " Fuck you if you don 't like Christmas . " They don 't even bother to tell us that Kurt Warner went home last week . I can only assume they are as pissed about Bristol Palin still being on the show as I am . Please tell me there is an enormous online community that is banding together to keep her on this show as a joke . What ? There 's no theme this week ? How am I going to know what these jokers are supposed to be dressed as ? How will Bristol ever get in character ? Brandy Brandy breaks down her competitors and all she can say about Bristol Palin is , " She 's so nice . " She subscribes to the " if you can 't say anything nice , don 't say anything at all " camp . I don 't . Bristol Palin is awful . She 's a terrible , terrible dancer and she 's boring as hell . When she 's on screen I want to stab my parents for giving me life and allowing me to be subjected to something like this . Oh goody . We get to learn about the past of the stars in the second package . Brandy in a nutshell : Lots of bad music , fatal car accident ( not her ) , Dancing With the Stars , back to oblivion . Jennifer Grey is an attractive older lady but when she gets all flirty and sexy it is creepy as hell . It 's something beyond cougar . It feels like she 's breaking the law . Especially when she 's dancing . I need to be sandblasted after watching that . Dance Two , Waltz : Bristol 's partner suggests that she is still in the competition because America looks at her and thinks , " That 's what I would be like . " No , rest of America , you would be way more interesting . Then Bristol chimes in with , " No offense to anyone else , but I 'm not fake . " First , when you start a sentence with the words , " No offense to anyone else " you are about to offend someone else . Second , if you were more fake you might be interesting . Did you know that Kyle still wears Husky size clothes ? The judges sure do . They couldn 't stop talking about how he bounced around the dance floor . Do you ever get dizzy for no reason ? I sure do hope not , that shit 's fucked up . Also , here 's the Friday Roundup . You know that Honda commercial where the kid with the backpack is asked by three other kids if he wants to race home ? I 'm sure you do . It 's all over TV . Have you ever noticed anything strange about that commercial ? Watch closely . That kid is not running a fun race with his friends . Check out the look on his face . He 's terrified . Notice that you never see the face or mouth of the kid that " asks " him if he wants to race . Notice that the kid lets out a huge sigh of relief once he gets safely into the car . It 's clear to me that those three bigger kids are threatening the kid in the backpack and he 's running for his life . I have no idea if the commercial ever ran as it was originally shot , but it 's certainly not running that way now . I understand why Honda changed it . Bullying is nasty stuff with real consequences . For every kid that escapes into his mom 's minivan , there are five kids that get caught and beat up . Do they think we 're stupid ? Do they think we won 't notice the terror on the kid 's face or the macho posturing of the bigger kid that clearly isn 't asking him to race ? Well , we notice . I did . Last week was Rick Fox 's turn to go home . I 'm sure his stalker girlfriend is happy to have him back all to herself . This week they are doing something called the Instant Dance Round . The dancers will rehearse for a dance without knowing what song they will be dancing to . They 'll be choosing their song an hour before they have to perform . Is there any doubt they 're doing this so that Bristol Palin finally goes home ? Kyle 's partner spends the entire time screaming at him about how terrible he is . If she was Bristol Palin 's partner someone would have to hide her knives . Of course , Kyle thinks it 's hilarious when she yells at him because he only has one emotion : on camera . After Kyle got his scores for the first dance he pulled the " Good Golly , Miss Molly " CD out of the music basket . Then he ran off like a schoolgirl to go practice . They decided to bring Steve - O back to try to distract Kyle while he rehearsed . In case you didn 't know , Steve - O is Kyle 's older brother . You could really feel the love . Would you have guessed that there is drama with Jennifer this week ? Her knee hurts and a doctor comes in , presses on her knee a little bit and decides that she 's got a torn tendon . Then her dad comes in and tells her that he 's proud of her and all that shit that dads say to their children but don 't really mean . She decides to dance , anyway . Probably because she was faking in the first place . Instant Dance , Rhumba : During her rehearsal she doesn 't complain about her knee once . She does make a creepy eighth grade dance reference while her partner is gyrating his hips . Can we change her song to " Mrs . Robinson " ? I 'm not entirely convinced that Kurt 's partner understands anything he says . Nor am I sure that he understands anything that she says . This only makes his transformation from Frankenstein to Not - As - Much - Frankenstein all the more impressive . Kurt 's kids came in to " help " him rehearse . They were wearing name tags . There 's a good chance it was for his benefit , not his partner 's . He is an athlete after all . Also , he stole the green shirt from that Tide commercial . Imagine if you 're mother went around the country talking to people about how you were the biggest mistake she ever made . Imagine if she tried to convince people to not do the exact thing that brought you into this world . What if she based her entire identity around the fact that she made a mistake by having you ? Is this something a good mother does ? This is what Bristol Palin does . Brandy and her partner have finally reached a point where she accepts his condescension like a battered wife of mutual respect . She does realize that this will do absolutely nothing for her career , right ? There 's no need for her to take this abuse before she fades back into obscurity . Brandy picks " Teenage Dream " by Katy Perry . Really ? When are the producers going to make her dance to one of her own songs ? She does sing , right ? During rehearsal Brandy and her partner decided to have a butt - off . Unfortunately , this only involved them hoisting their butts up with their hands . All of my butt - offs involve a whole lot of booty bouncing . Almost everyone I know thinks I 'm hilarious . Especially me . This may shock you , but I 'm not hilarious all the time . In fact , there are times when I am actively not funny . I know it 's hard to believe but there are some chinks in my armor of comedy . In case you encounter me and I 'm not absolutely hilarious , here are a few reasons why I may have failed . 6 ) I want you to think I 'm smarter than you . This means I 'll sacrifice funny jokes at the expense of being right . Also , this is often just plain annoying . Annoying is not funny . 8 ) Most people think God is immature enough to keep a list of who makes jokes about him . I think he has a healthy sense of humor about himself . I mean , why else would he let all of his most ardent followers act like such idiots ? It 's the 200th episode of Dancing With the Stars . No , they haven 't been all this season it just feels that way . Okay , what the hell is going on ? They just introduced Kristi Yamaguchi as a " team captain " of Bristol Palin , Rick Fox and Kyle Massey and Apolo Ohno as " team captain " of Kurt Warner , Brandy and Jennifer Grey . I guess they are doing some kind of team dance and then a regular dance . I 'm confused for two reasons . First , the Colts are playing on Monday Night Football and I 'm missing it for this . Second , the opening of the show was such a mess that absolutely nothing was explained before they launched into announcing the teams . I 'm not sure why I continue to expect this show to be at least as good as terrible MTV - level reality shows . The function of the team captain is to come into the rehearsal and say things like , " Rick Fox is tall . " Thanks , Kristi . Also , why are Kristi and Apolo team captains ? Are they just choosing random gold medal winners from past Olympics ? If so , why couldn 't they get Carl Lewis ? Also , why hasn 't Carl Lewis done this show yet ? Is he still alive ? He is , but you had to think about it for a second , didn 't you ? Apolo took a different approach to coaching his team . Instead of stating the obvious he just shouted random coaching clichés about giving more than is mathematically possible . He may have even asked them to reach deep . He even passed out envelopes for them to push . For each individual dance they are bringing in a " celebrity " judge who was a " star " from a past season to judge a dance that they performed when they were on the show . Got it ? No , because it 's stupid . Kyle as been assigned to perform a Paso Doblé that Mel B danced in a previous season . I was hoping they would make him dance Mel B 's part but they decided to let him dance as a man . Well , man - boy . I guess we know how many episodes it takes before they run out of choreography . 200 . Kurt is assigned to dance a Tango previously danced by Emmitt Smith . During rehearsal , Kurt is frustrated by his partner telling him how easy it is so he takes her to practice with the Arizona Cardinals where she fails as miserably at football as he does at dancing . Then we 're treated to Larry Fitzgerald calling the old judge " stupid . " Bristol Palin Bristol has to recreate a Viennese Waltz once danced by Kelly Osbourne . They 've stopped trying to make her interesting during rehearsals . This is why allowing America to choose who advances makes the producers kick their dogs when they get home . Speaking of dogs , my little wiener dog has more personality and can dance better than Bristol Palin . I 'm no expert but her dance was completely half assed and the judges still gave her three eights . Have they given up , too ? I hate America . Rick 's partner decides to bring his girlfriend , Eliza Dushku , in to loosen him up a little . I 'm told she 's clingy and jealous of this whole situation . Sounds like a great way to get him to relax . Jennifer will be dancing a Tango done by Drew Lachey on the second season . I don 't understand why they are assigning men 's dances to women . I get that we 're all about challenging gender roles now that it 's 2010 , but this just doesn 't make any sense . It 's not the same dance at all . Guys , I don 't know if you 've been informed , but Jennifer Grey is old and tired and sore and oh my gawd everything is so hard . There is nothing harder than a celebrity dance show . Don 't you feel sorry for her ? It 's so hard being famous . Halloween is my least favorite holiday . It 's not even close . Arbor Day ? Awesome , plant a tree . That 's good for all of us . Halloween ? Bah . Hate it . I 'm sure you 're expecting me to go on a rant about it 's just an excuse for women to dress slutty as a " sexy " whatever . Three or four years ago I would have gladly ranted for several paragraphs but it seems pointless now . Thanks to the new tights craze , women are dressing slutty every day . Wearing black tights is now an excuse to wear the shortest skirt possible or wear nothing at all but the tights . I hate Halloween for more selfish reasons . What a pain in the ass - especially since I 've been a performer . Everyone expects me to come up with a clever costume because I 'm the " clever guy . " That 's a lot of pressure that I don 't need . I don 't want to have to wrack my brain for weeks to come up with a costume that I 'm going to wear for a few hours . Why would I waste my time rummaging through my closet and going out of my way to costume shops to try to find exactly what I 'm looking for ? I 've got better things to do . Besides , my costume idea is so clever that it 's nearly impossible to find the things I need for it at any store so I have to make the damn thing myself . I definitely don 't have the time or energy for that . Rarely are you able to come up with a costume that just involves you wearing regular clothes . There 's always something extra added to the outfit ( unless you 're going as a radio DJ which is not as clever as you think ) that makes it uncomfortable . There 's nothing more disgusting than the combination of sweat and moist breath that collects inside a mask . If it 's not uncomfortable , then there 's always some piece of the costume that you are constantly worrying about . Your wig will always be crooked , so don 't even bother . There 's nothing like going out to a crowded bar and getting repeatedly stabbed and rammed into by everyone else 's costumes . God forbid you are a man who decided to dress up as Christine O ' Donnell . People will grab your tits all night - both men and women . It 's degrading . You 're a Senate candidate for Christ 's sake . This week they 've decided to show us the top ten routines chosen by the Dancing With the Stars viewers . How were these votes collected ? By mail ? The viewership of this show is too old to use computers . Audrina 's partner decided to have her do some mixed martial arts training so that she could dance a better Paso Doble . I 've seen my three year old niece hit harder than Audrina . It bothers me that I can now spell her name without looking it up . Even when they sex her up I still can 't bring myself to write about her bare midriff . Maybe it 's because she 's the most boring human alive . You 've got to have at least some personality to bring out the creep in this creepy old man . Because Kyle is busy doing , well , no one really knows , his partner has told him to dance with his brother for extra practice . Two dudes dancing together always gets a huge laugh from the simpleminded . Which is why we see it so often on this show . After last week 's shouting match Jennifer and her partner were practically singing Kumbaya in the rehearsal room . She even made a hilarious joke about her metal neck ! Everything is wonderful ! It 's like her nose job never happened ! Being an enormous , awkward oaf has gotten him this far so I can only assume that he 'll nail it this week . I just can 't understand why the producers let his partner get away with simply practicing this week . Shouldn 't they be carving pumpkins to help with his dexterity or something ? After forgetting her steps last week while wearing a gorilla suit , she insisted upon playing the air guitar during a section of her dance . They worked on that more than the dancing . Why didn 't they show the discussion about dressing her like Barney the Dinosaur ? In case you are wondering , the folks at Dancing With the Stars think that pyrotechnics equals rock ' n ' roll . Lot of fire and explosions this week . Too bad the band didn 't get the note . No one thinks rock ' n ' roll when they think of Kurt Warner so they brought in Brett Michaels to help him discover his rock side . Apparently , being rock involves wearing a bandana to cover your receding hairline . Do they make a bandana that covers your awkward ? This week Brandy will be playing the role of Jennifer Grey . It 's her turn to storm out into the hallway and cry . The only difference is that her partner doesn 't give a shit so he chases her down and makes her dance anyway . Atta boy . No one likes it when rich people whine about dancing . They couldn 't fill enough time by showing the top ten viewer selected dances so they ended the show by doing a dance marathon . All of the couples dance and the judges eliminate them one by one . The winners get ten extra points , the runner up gets nine and so on . I 'm not sure why they insist on handing out these points . They 're like the score in Super Mario Brothers , it doesn 't matter so long as you save the princess . Dee and I took a little trip to Hartford City , Indiana this weekend . We were there for a funeral but we were able to visit with family and we are always entertained when we are with the family . We were also entertained by the signs in and around Hartford City . Since I 'd rather not bore you trying to explain all the fun times with the family , I 'll share with you the signs instead . This isn 't technically a sign , but there is a sign just behind Dee . However , you might recognize this Indian if you 've ever seen Parks & Recreation on NBC . It 's in the opening credits . Also , the sign behind Dee is pretty nonsensical . See what I mean ? I snapped a picture of this sign for obvious reasons . It indicates the portion of State Highway 3 that is dedicated to my dad . It extends from the north side of Hartford City to State Highway 18 . Does your dad have his own highway ? I have lots of questions about this sign . Why is Coroner an elected office ? Why would you choose to make your sign look like a body bag ? Isn 't the tag usually on the toe of the corpse ? Why didn 't they go all the way and show a face peeking out of the zipper opening ? Why did my mom let someone put this in her yard ? Okay , this isn 't a sign . It is something you need to see . In case you are wondering , this is Dee as the Pope . The Balloon Pope . I took Dee to her favorite ice cream place in Indiana , Ivanhoe 's . Every time we 've been there , a balloon artist has offered to make us anything we want . This time , Dee said , " I want a hat ! " I quickly added , " She wants a Pope hat ! " The balloon artist went the extra mile to create the staff and incense burner . God bless him . The Friday Roundup is back and it 's declaring itself The Law in this here town . Anyone got a problem with that ? I didn 't think so . Fetch me some lemonade . It 's TV Theme week . No one on this show understands metaphors so all of the dancers will be performing to TV show theme songs . I can 't imagine anything worse . They insist on doing a two hour show even though they don 't have enough dancers to fill the time . Instead , they decide to have the judges talk about each dancer . It still won 't make these people any more interesting but it does give me time for a nap . Brandy danced to the theme song from Friends . She loves it because " it 's everything that describes a friend . " Does she also love the dictionary ? We can only hope they end up in a fountain . Why do they insist on pushing the band 's limits ? It 's like trying to teach a third grader calculus . My score : I can see you acting . Can you guess which TV theme Florence will be dancing to ? Can you ? If you can 't you are an idiot , Mindsilt . com Reader . Yes , it 's The Brady Bunch theme . She even managed to get Greg Brady to come to her rehearsal and she implied that they may have hooked up when they were on the show together . Was this a rumor ? Gross . Kurt was an NFL quarterback so they 've got him dancing to the theme from Bewitched . They couldn 't get the rights to Faith Hill 's Sunday Night Football theme ? I 'm pissed that I can 't be pissed about them doing the obvious here . Pissed . About not being pissed . Audrina 's partner tells her to eat an onion to help reduce the awkwardness of the intimate moments . Teenagers everywhere are going to start carrying onions around just in case . Wait . Teenagers don 't watch this show . They 're too busy doing something cool like bullying each other . Kyle is assigned the theme from Charlie 's Angels . They should have just assigned him the theme from the Ed Sullivan Show . His partner decided to bring in two other hot dancers to help him with his technique and complete the Charlie 's Angels theme . Everyone knows the best way to get a teenager to focus is to bring in a bunch of hot girls . What do you think of when you see Rick Fox ? Cops . That 's why he 's dancing to the theme from Hill Street Blues . See how I do that ? I hate it when they 're too literal and I hate it when they 're not literal at all . I get to have it both ways and eat it too . It wouldn 't be a TV theme song show without the theme from The Monkees . It wouldn 't be Dancing With the Stars if they didn 't waste the most energetic song on the least energetic contestant . At least her partner decided to dress them up in ape costumes . Seriously , they wore ape costumes for the first half of the dance . For the second half of the dance , Bristol completely forgot the routine . She should have written the steps on her hand . Hasn 't her mom taught her anything ? What 's it called when you find pleasure in the misfortune of others ? It starts with an 's ' doesn 't it ? Oh yeah , schadenfreude . This was pure , uncut schadenfreude . Do you remember that girlfriend you had in high school who could conjure an argument out of thin air ? That 's Jennifer Grey . The only difference is that she 's 50 years old and still acts like a teenager . Now you know why she hasn 't worked since 1987 . Has anyone squandered cancer survivor sympathy faster than Jennifer Grey ? Guess what , she nailed her dance . America , please help us all out of this abusive cycle . Do not vote for or encourage this woman in any way . My wife is a good person but even good people hate things . Dee holds a special place in her spleen ( that 's the opposite of heart right ? ) for bad commercials . For several years she declared that she hated all cell phone company commercials . Joan Cusack was her nemesis . Every time a cell phone commercial came on she would say , " Why can 't anyone make a good cell phone commercial ? I 'm so mad about it ! " Then someone made the commercial where the guy said , " Smart , smart , so smart " and the spell was broken . Cell phone commercials were suddenly good again . Dee 's assessment : " They think that they are funny and they are not . They dress people up in weirdo costumes because they think it 's funny but it 's not . And they are obnoxious . " I saw this article recently about the Cybertecture Mirror . Basically , it 's a mirror that is connected to the Internet and can display all sorts of information right on its surface . The data you choose to display is customizable and because it 's connected to the Internet I bet you can get just about any information you want right on your bathroom mirror . Even if you can 't get everything I 'm sure it won 't be long until someone figures out how to hack it and get anything you want to display . Who will be the first to hack the mirror ? Probably someone in the porn industry . They 're always quick to embrace new technology . Remember the early days of the Internet ? It was all porn and bad personal homepages created by kids for a college class . Soon enough , you 'll be waking up to fresh porn right in your bathroom mirror . I 'm sure it won 't be long ( after the work stoppage , that is ) until they develop porn especially for that mirror that makes it look like you 're the star . You 'd be boning the sink but who cares ? Morning wood problem solved . It 's " Acoustic Week . " Let me get this straight . Dancing With the Stars has decided to highlight the consistently worst performer on the show ? Yes , I 'm talking about the band . Since the band is performing unplugged , I will also be writing this on my laptop unplugged . Let 's hope my battery lasts . They 've revamped the studio and changed the stage from its standard rectangle to a circular stage with the audience seated all around . In the industry we call it " in the round . " That 's Latin for " cheap gimmick which attempts to disguise poor performers . " As an added twist the judges will be giving two sets of scores that no one cares about . Kurt is dancing the Rhumba - the dance of love - on his 13th wedding anniversary . He 's uncomfortable because he 's a " Christian guy . " I 'm not sure what religion has to do with putting on a good performance , but I 'm sure someone can find an out - of - context Bible verse that addresses this . His partner decides to bring in both of their spouses to watch . Once Kurt gets the okay from his wife , he 's ready to get sexy with his partner . No one told me that wives trump God . Good thing I don 't believe in either . She admits that she doesn 't feel sexy unless she is in love . She hasn 't been in love for six years which means she must be married . Instead of practicing , her partner decides to take her to a restaurant for wine , chocolate and flowers . The three keys to the Rhumba . Rick and his partner are assigned the Argentine Tango . They are allowed to do lifts for this dance which means that Rick will be throwing his partner around like , well , a basketball . Let 's hope she always lands within the hoop . He didn 't manage to throw her off the stage , but he did sport a pretty sweet mustache and a white jacket . He 's the tallest maître d ' ever . We are subjected to Kyle and his partner actually dancing during their lead - in clip . Imagine that . We now know why they don 't show the couples actually dancing . It 's boring . I 'm confused . Are these two dating or not ? How old is his partner ? I 'm not sure it 's even legal for them to be together . This guy calls himself The Situation ? This guy ? He 's just some regular dude that wants to do the best he can . How could he possibly be entertaining on a reality TV show ? I 've yet to see him do anything outrageous . There she is . There 's the racy and inappropriate Florence Henderson . There 's nothing quite like seeing Florence Henderson grab a creepy dude 's ass . That was just during rehearsal . Remember how Jennifer Grey 's character in Dirty Dancing was all whiny and dramatic when she was learning how to dance with Patrick Swayze 's character ? ( Note : I haven 't actually seen the movie ) That wasn 't a character . She 's whiny and overly dramatic . She 's playing it up for the cameras . She knows this season is boring and she 's trying to add drama . Too bad we all see right through it . The lead - in clip begins with Bristol 's partner talking about how sexy the Rhumba is and then goes on to say , " The Rhumba and Bristol have absolutely zero in common . " Hey , she got pregnant so she must have been sexy at least once , right ? Right ? ! Don 't answer that . I know I 'm wrong . No matter what you think about her mom , at least she 's entertaining . You 'd think Bristol would have acquired at least a little of her mom 's performance ability . Unfortunately she 's the most boring human alive . Even Bristol 's kid was more entertaining and he hasn 't learned to conjugate verbs yet . Audrina closed her package by saying , " Five years ago I was answering phones at a photography studio , now I 'm at the top of the leaderboard on Dancing With the Stars . " Sorry sister , Kurt 's got you beat on the rags to riches story . Bagging groceries to Super Bowl champ trumps phones and Dancing With the Stars every time . I 'm not saying she 's dumb , but if you use sarcasm around her you have to follow it up with , " That was a joke . " Otherwise , she 'll think you 're serious about shooting Brooke Burke and making glue out of her bones . You 'll only see this happen once more . At 10 : 10pm 10 / 10 / 10 which is later tonight . But that 's only if you live in the U . S . and use the 12 - hour clock versus the 24 - hour clock . Do you like random , interesting Internet stuff ? I know you do . That 's why you 're here . Check out kottke . org . Every day he posts all sorts of interesting stuff from all around the Internet . Go there now . Well , not now . Wait until you finish this post , then go there . Sun Chips just announced that they 're going to discontinue their compostable bags . You see , their compostable bags were loud . Lots of people complained about the bags ' loudness . In fact , people were so dissatisfied by the noise from the bags that their sales dipped 11 % . So Sun Chips decided to discontinue the new bags . This is why I hate people . People are stupid . People can 't see past the end of their own nose . People don 't think about the impact of their actions . A corporation finally does something to try to reduce the amount of waste we create and everyone rejects it because they couldn 't hear the idiots on Grey 's Anatomy because the chip bag is too loud . That shows you how shortsighted and unimaginative the American people are . You can 't put your chips in a bowl so that our children can live on a planet that isn 't covered in garbage ? Plus , they 're watching Grey 's Anatomy . That show is terrible . As I predicted , Michael Bolton went home last week . My wife tells me that he made the rounds on the talk shows demanding an apology from the foreign judge . I guess the foreign one said that Bolton did " the worst jive ever . " Which was true . Still , it hurt Michael 's feelings and made him cry . I guess you don 't write all those crappy love songs without being overly sensitive . Good riddance , crybaby . It 's " Story Night . " I don 't know what the hell that means . I expect it means there will be a lot more cheese . Oh Christ , Brooke Burke is still hosting . Do they know it 's perfectly okay to fire someone mid - season ? In fact , it 's humane . It 's like shooting a horse with a broken leg . It 's best for everyone . Florence and Corky 's story is of two lovers who are discovering their attraction and , sweet God , no one cares . They 're dancing to that weepy song from The Sound of Music . Not the fun one where the kids say good night or the one with all the random syllables where they run through the hills or even the one where they list the favorite things of the most boring person in the world . They choose the lullaby . I liked her better when she was flipping me the bird , not trying to put me to sleep . My score : Brown paper packages tied up in string usually contain laundry . Kurt has been assigned the Foxtrot and his story is of a person having a bad day . Like me every Monday . Apparently , a bad day in Kurt Warner 's world involves a grinning goofball carrying an umbrella . This is what happens when you 've suffered repeated concussions . The judges gave Kurt a 23 and Brooke decided that it was the " highest score of the night . " Except that it wasn 't . Jennifer Grey scored a 24 . Can they fire her mid - show ? Please ? I guess the story of " party " involves wearing a dress that makes you look like a Rainbow Pop . Also , dancing terribly . The Internet will forever make me look like a fool for saying that she could dance in the premiere . Audrina and her partner choose to act out a story of a soldier coming back from the dead to dance with his widowed wife for one last time . That just seems cruel . Why just this once ? What a dick . The only way I would have liked this dance is if her partner would have come out as a zombie . Alas , I hated this dance . The judges loved it . The mannequin takes the lead . Bristol 's partner Mark is a homeless dude and she is boring . I don 't even know what the hell the story is supposed to be . Then they randomly showed her giving a speech saying , " A girl who practices abstinence has no chance of getting pregnant " in perfect monotone so that you can tell she really cares . Brooke asked Bristol why she struggles with the performance portion of the dance even though she 's a public speaker . The correct answer is , " Because I 'm terrible at both . " Her answer was , " Wah , wah , wah , wah , boring , boring , boring . " Brandy and her partner decide to steal the story from " The Bodyguard . " Then they argue through the entire clip even though Brandy promises not to argue . The judges spend the entire time talking about how badly the pro treated Brandy instead of giving notes on the dance because they already know they 're going to give her eights because she 's one of the anointed ones . It 's no surprise that neither The Situation nor the Russian girl can explain their story . It involves time travel and skimpy outfits . Again with the porn theme . I 'm pretty sure that The Situation 's partner chose this " story " because she had a futuristic outfit she wanted to wear . Also , her face looks like she could be The Situation 's brother . Wow . The band has really outdone itself tonight . It was like the Osmonds decided to cover the Black Eyed Peas . Only worse than you 're thinking . When I have something to do , I have every intention of doing exactly what it is that I set out to do . Sometimes I don 't get it done . I 'll get distracted by something - like my mind has a mind of its own . Do I mind that my mind seems to have a mind of its own ? Of course I mind . Unfortunately , my mind doesn 't seem to mind . So the only way to get my mind to mind is if I don 't pay it any mind . Mind you , my mind 's mind is not easily ignored . Once it sets its mind to something my mind doesn 't mind if it hurts me - or anyone else - to get what is wants . But you see , I 've got my mind made up to give my mind 's mind a piece of my mind and I don 't mind if my mind 's mind loses its mind because I 've finally decided to mind the store around here and take my mind back from my mind 's mind so that I don 't lose my own mind . In fact , I 'm going to do that right now if you don 't mind . Welcome to the only Mindsilt post you need for the week . That doesn 't mean you shouldn 't read the rest of the week so don 't get any big ideas . You still want to read each day so that you 're up to date with what your co - workers are talking about around the water cooler . Right ? Right . From Michael Ian Black : " You know what would be great ? If people stopped shooting each other at school . Save it for after class , guys . " See it here . From the Mindsilt Archives Is there a word for the moment you realize that you 're good at something because you 're watching someone else completely fuck it up ? I ask for two reasons : 1 ) I 'm too lazy to do an Internet search . 2 ) This happens to me all the time . I 'm good at a lot of things and other people are terrible at a lot of things . I could make a list of all the things I 'm awesome at but no one has an attention span that long . ( Oh my , that 's an awfully long attention span . Tee hee . ) Instead , I 'll talk about one of those moments I had recently . In real life ( because this blog isn 't real life ) I 'm a project manager . I spend a lot of time running meetings . I know that I 'm pretty good at running meetings , but I didn 't realize how good until last week . I called into a meeting scheduled to be an hour long . One hundred minutes later , the meeting ended . Now , I should have bailed out at the 60 minute mark but I was morbidly curious . I wanted to witness the new and inventive ways the guy running the meeting would come up with to make the meeting longer and let it spin even further out of control . It was like being at a clinic for how not to run a meeting . Since I 'm so good at running meetings , I thought I 'd share with you my tips for running a good meeting : 1 ) Remember that people hate meetings . Ask yourself if the meeting is really necessary . Could you take care of the issue with an email or phone conversation ? If so , do that . Don 't waste everyone 's time in a meeting . The best meeting is the one that 's never held . 2 ) Ask yourself if you really need a full hour . Chances are everything could be discussed in thirty minutes - especially if you stay on topic . You almost never need a full hour for a meeting . 4 ) Stick to the agenda . Do not stray no matter how interesting the topic might be . You can always have another discussion about that super interesting ( but probably not important ) topic later . I can 't stress how important this is . 5 ) Do not be afraid to cut people off . If they are not staying on topic , stop them . Everyone else will appreciate you not letting someone else waste their time . Don 't be a dick , but be firm . 6 ) Finish before the allotted time . If you follow the first five tips , this will be no problem . Everyone will love you for giving them some time back and they 'll want to come to your meetings in the future . This means you have to start on time . 7 ) Take notes and publish them after the meeting . Do this however you like . Create some kind of issues log that people can review . This way the things you discussed in the meeting will continue to exist outside the meeting and everyone will be held accountable . 8 ) Don 't schedule meetings at 4pm on Friday . No one wants to go to a meeting then and no one will be paying attention . It 's best to wait until Monday . Also , don 't schedule meetings at 9am on Mondays for the same reason . People aren 't ready yet . At the top of the show we discover that we will be Hoff - less for the rest of the season . Part of me is disappointed that the chance of this show folding in upon itself due to cheese overload has been reduced to zero . The other part of me is watching the Bears - Packers game . I am excited to see how they try to solve the Brooke Burke problem . I hope it was a brain transplant . Failing that , I expect her to be replaced by the robot from the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson . Rick decides that we need to see his nasty , scarred foot so that he has a built in excuse . Thank God I 'd already finished dinner . I can only assume this is a prelude to him crumpling to the floor in a heap . She 's been assigned the Quickstep and the strangest partner ever . She immediately reminds us that she 's 76 years old and complains about trying to remember everything . Way to play up the stereotype . Then she flips off the camera . Way to bust the stereotype . I * middle - finger * you too , Florence . Brandy has been given the pro that fights with everyone . And yet , he doesn 't think that he 's an asshole . Though , Brandy is not a good dancer so I can 't really blame him . You know how people half - ass things when they think they are too cool ? Brandy half - asses things but thinks she 's dancing her ass off . Then she stood around and waved her arms during her " solo . " This is fixed . The judges think there are certain people with potential and they give those people high scores regardless of their dance . For some reason they think Brandy is good . My score : I thought this was about talent . He has laryngitis , no rhythm and he 's whiny . Is there any doubt that he 'll be the next to go ? This is one of moments when I 'm acutely aware that this suckatude is filling up prime time television . This is the worst attempt at entertainment I 've seen on TV . When I go to see a community theater show , I expect to see something like this . When I 'm watching prime time television , I expect something that approaches actual entertainment . Brooke Burke lived up to the terrible performance by asking , " What was the thinking behind the dog character ? " They danced to " Hound Dog . " That was the thinking . Is she deaf , too ? " I 'm sacrificing everything for this show . " What exactly is she sacrificing ? Does she have a job ? Does she have children ? Or does she mean that she 's literally performing ritual sacrifices of anything she can find ? The judges loved her dance . I know I should think that this girl is sexy , but I don 't . Seeing her naked would be like seeing an undressed mannequin . Her partner pledged that he would wax his legs if the dance didn 't get all eights . They got two eights and a seven . This will only be interesting if they make him wear hot pants next week . This isn 't even fair . She already knows how to dance . She 's so far ahead of everyone else it 's not even funny . Her choreography was so much harder than everyone else and she nailed it . Our only hope is that all of her dramatics will turn everyone off and people won 't vote for her . After Jennifer Grey and her partner got their scores , the crowd began booing . Then we cut to the main , competent host interviewing Sarah Palin . Draw your own conclusions . Last week everyone avoided Margaret Cho like the plague after the show . She claims it was because everyone thought she was going home . It was really because they didn 't want to have to look at her in that dress . Or they just don 't like her . I hate that I know this , but Margaret 's partner is the best instructor in the group . He gets challenging partners and he gets the most out of them . I take back what I said about her being able to dance . She can 't dance . I was fooled by those weird , flappy wing things she had last week - and I don 't mean her arms . Kyle Massey loves himself some Kyle Massey . I think he 's the only one . Oh wait , did he just make a joke about being fat ? How original and charming . I 'm sure the whole world has changed their mind on Kyle Massey now . Every time I think the band can 't get any worse , they surprise me . I 'm not sure the singer was ever in tune - even by accident . In fact , I 'm not even sure that was an actual song . My score : Two sides of fries . I stand corrected . The band just got worse again . I believe they were attempting to play " Danger Zone . " I 'm guessing based on the fact that I think I heard the singer say ( not sing , say ) " danger zone . " The band is setting new records for awful . The problem with Kurt Warner is that once you establish yourself as boring , you are always boring . Even at your most exciting you are completely boring . He does realize that he doesn 't have to give canned answers to everyone he talks to like he 's giving a post - game interview , right ? The SituationI have never seen The Jersey Shore and if this guy is the star , I can 't imagine that it 's any good . He seems like a good kid . A little cheesy , but a good kid . He tries hard but he 's a terrible dancer . Absolutely awful . He dances like he 's on an ice rink with dress shoes . He 's sliding and crashing into everything . She takes her partner to Alaska to meet her mom . He was about as excited to meet her as you would imagine . Are the producers going to try to squeeze Sarah Palin into every one of Bristol 's lead - ins ? That might be the only way to keep her segments interesting . Unfortunately , Bristol isn 't a bad dancer so we 'll probably be subjected to Sarah and pregnant teens for several more weeks . By the way , does Bristol take credit for any teenager she sees that isn 't pregnant ? About five years ago I made a decision . Well , I made a lot of decisions but one big one . After a series of strange relationships and failed dates I decided that I would remain single for the rest of my life . I didn 't plan to shun all women or stop dating completely . I just realized that the chances of me finding a person to happily spend the rest of my life with were not very good . So I stopped looking for that person . I just went about my life and if the chance to date a woman presented itself , I would do so but I would have no expectations that it would evolve into anything lasting . I 've stuck to my pledge , mostly . I did make one exception , but that 's only because the girl was cool and funny and beautiful . I 'm referring to my wife , Dee . She 's pretty awesome so you can see why I would make such an exception , but that 's the only exception I 've made . Otherwise , I 've stayed completely single and I 'm completely fine with it . In fact , I 'm pretty darn happy . Look at us strolling down the Internet hand in hand on a Friday . Oh ! What 's that ? Is that the … Well , yes it is . The Friday Roundup . Let 's check it out , shall we ? Remember when I wrote about Space Robbers ? I bet you do because you have a great memory . Anyway , the star of Space Robbers has always been Sean . He and his fiancée have their own blog called Frakking Shiny where they write about the things they love . Sometimes ( like on Wednesday ) they write about how they hate the people who are ruining the things they love . From Alec Sulkin : " Therapist just left a . 38 on the coffee table and walked out . I think I get it . " See it here . From the Mindsilt Archives
|
I am so tired I am going to go get in my warm bed and read ! I left work early today and went to my new doctor . I think I like her . I told her my heart has been racing a lot and she said it is " tachy " ( NOT tacky ! ) . They did a quick Electrocardiogram . I have suspicious looking " Q waves . " They are going to schedule a stress test to see if my heart exploded or something . There was a time some time in the past few months when I was afraid I was having a heart attack , but it went away after awhile . Maybe I should have had it checked ? Whatever I 'm still alive - could say a lot about the more intense fatigue , though . Tomorrow I get regular labs and I 'm not sure when the heart test is . I 'm grateful for health insurance , even though this will STILL put me deeper in debt with medical bills . It wouldn 't even be possible to think about if there were no insurance ( except then maybe I could get it for free . . . sigh . ) I went to the YMCA and exercised BEFORE WORK - yes , worthy of capitals and bold . I walked one mile and did the stationary bike for 14 minutes . Part of me feels like that was so puny that I am almost embarrassed . Deep inside , however , I know that it is a MILLION ( capitals and bold - worthy ) times better than nothing , which is what I have been doing . It felt wonderful to know that I made a choice that is good for me . It felt good physically . It felt good to take a shower at the Y ( damn the environment and my stupid low - flow shower head ! ) . It felt good to see people out doing things that are good for them - I want to learn from their examples as I strive for health and strength . After work I had an appt . with Christine . We worked on . . . well , it 's hard to say . I guess the main theme is exploring why it is emotionally so difficult to make choices that I know intellectually to be correct . I guess that is the core of my " health " blog , which has been all but abandoned lately . We got to a little nitty gritty . I think what it MIGHT ( capitals & bold ) boil down to is that I 've been betrayed so often and felt it so keenly that maybe I set myself up to betray myself ? ( bold only ) . Time to get over that shit ! I went down to the Occupation later . . . they participated in a " Direct Action " at the Business School tonight . My question to Michael is " If you get arrested and lose your scholarship is OWS going to pay for you to go to college ? " I sure can 't ! I DO ( B & C ) want him to do what he believes in , but with caution ! When I went downtown , though nd I was wet and cold and basically miserable I realized that I have a ( sort of , but it is this cold by choice ) warm house to go home to . The homeless people are so happy to even be able to stay in their tents in the park . The Occupants are choosing to be outside because they think it will help bring attention to their Direct Actions and their protests . I 'm all over ( as in finished with ) that sort of activism . So I am grateful for my home , and that I have the choice to be warm if I wish . I feel like I will not get warm again . I washed my quilt AND my comforter today . I can 't wait to get in bed and get under nice warm covers . Knowing the homeless more now I am so grateful for my home and my wonderful bed with covers - even if it is still old in here , it 's better than being out in a tent . I slept most of the day - still mostly in a headache fog . The right spot in the medicine dosage cycle where pain really was deadened allowed me to go to karaoke tonight . I ate some food without becoming nauseated and I enjoyed myself . I am really glad I got to go . I was just reading the blog / site " My Aspergers Child " about tips for peaceful ( not hell ) shopping with your Aspergers Child . I caught myself thinking " This just sounds like common sense tips every parent should use with every child . " Then I realized . . no , I NEVER had to do any of that stuff with Emily . I know Emily was exceptionally opposite an Aspergers Child and that there is an in - between between Michael and Emily , ( BUT and it 's a big BUT ) the fact that they are four and a half years apart and that Michael 's needs became in my view the " norm " for parenting and LIVING demonstrates the truth to Emily 's frequent assertion that I loved Michael more . I really didn 't love him more , but yes , I really did have to love him differently - that was the only way to keep our lives from being a living hell . I am glad that even though I had no helpful diagnosis , somehow I was able to see what his needs were and provide the routine and stability that helped him . I still hate to take him shopping , though . It will be short , because I am going to bed very soon . I did make it downtown . I heated up a lot of the leftovers from Thanksgiving and took them to share . I don 't need all those carbs around the house . Michael and I ate a little bit then we walked down to the square - we arrived after the lights were lit . Oops . We walked around and said hi to a few people . We went to Fountain Square Mall and looked in The Game Preserve ( I think the game I 've been trying to remember is " Mindtrap - must remember to Google " ) , we went to Caveat Emptor and I spoke with Mr . Starcs about the possible value of my books from Prof . Rothmuller 's estate . He wants me to bring them in probably after the holidays . We went back down to the Occupation and hung out . It was low key and relaxing and it was a beautiful night . My body and spirit felt good to spend three hours outside . I 'm very grateful for that . I didn 't make an entry on Thursday because I WAS SICK . I cooked a huge Thanksgiving meal of 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , maybe 6 courses . . . maybe more . Let 's see , turkey , quinoa main dish , dressing , green bean casserole , deviled eggs , cranberry sauce , mashed potatoes , gravy ( two kinds ) , pumpkin pie ( 10 total ) and cheesecake . Debby brought rolls and Vivek brought a wonderful , homemade mushroom soup . I sat down to eat and had absolutely no appetite - unusual for me . I ate some of the soup and then filled my plate with all the other yummy stuff and sort of looked at it . I ate half a deviled egg , a little bit of mashed potatoes and gravy , and maybe a couple of other bites . My head hurt and I kept catching myself rubbing my head , but I wasn 't connecting all the dots . After dinner we all just sat around the table and talked a little bit , but never did talk about going to the Muppet movie like I had suggested . Michael said he wanted to stay home and watch a movie and Vivek decided he wanted to go home and crash so Michael and Debby and I went to the family room , I spread a quilt on the floor and went to sleep . I slept for so long and so soundly that Michael and Deb got up and ate cheesecake and I didn 't even know it . When I awakened I realized that the reason I had no appetite was because I had a true migraine . Argh . I took some pain killers , but it didn 't help . I sipped a ginger ale so my blood sugar wouldn 't plummet . I tried taking a bath . I tried some of the usual tricks to no avail . By 3am I had slept a little more , but was up and dry heaving and crying in the bathroom . : ( Sadness . I decided it was close enough to morning to take the meds with caffeine and eventually went back to sleep . When I woke up again the pain had reduced to the foggy / hangover stage . I was able to make it to work . I only sipped ginger ale and nibbled pretzels until lunch . At lunch I went home and had some leftovers . I also tasted the cheesecake . I swear it is one of the best cheesecakes I have ever made . It is so good I brought it back here and I 'm trying to makPosted by Baking pies . Numbers nine and ten are in the oven . Either cheesecake or sleep next - maybe a little of both . So very grateful for all the wonderful people in my life . I just commented on somebody 's Facebook thread ( back a little more today , but still being careful what I read ) tonight how the friendships I have renewed and the contacts I have made have enriched my life and the lives of my children . I think that even though Facebook can pull people apart , so can it invite a quick kind of intimacy , whether with old friends or new , that can strengthen bonds . It is up to the users to bring those relationships into real life and make sure that we use it as a communication tool and not in a way that can isolate us . So yes I am grateful for the wonderful people and for the tools we utilize . I 've been packaging , labeling , photographing . . . TRUFFLES ! So that reminds me that I am SO , SO , SO , happy to have my digital camera ! It has paid for itself ten times over in savings on film and developing . PLUS the photos are right there . . . no taking them in to get processed and picking them up again , no rolls of film lounging in drawers for years , waiting to be processed . I bought it the first time Michael went to Science Olympiad Nationals . I figured if my son was going to win a National Science Contest I was going to have pictures and I do ! Not the kind pigs find . . . the CANDY kind . They are pretty yummy . I am a little worried about getting these ready in time . I am also a little worried about getting all the preparations for Thanksgiving complete in time . SO I need to get to bed so I can get some sleep and work hard tomorrow . I am grateful for the skills I have learned by starting my little business . So far I haven 't made ANY money , quite the opposite . . . I still feel like I have faith I can do this . If I truly had some working capital I could succeed . And if it never happens , if I decide to end it tomorrow , I will still feel that way . I did give myself permission last night to not hold myself to any standard at all . Unfortunately it came AFTER I had a freak out and " yelled " at Emily on Facebook , then left a screaming crying message on her voice mail . I still haven 't really spoken to her in voice yet - only online . I need to make sure I am not so psycho anymore . I think I am so psycho because I just haven 't seen Emily for so long and she also used to call me at least once a week maybe more , while she walked home from work . Now she has a car and drives to work . I miss our talks , but I can 't get my head wrapped around calling her while I am at work , then by the end of the day I am so tired of talking on the phone that I don 't do it . Also with Michael Occupying Bloomington , there is not just the missing him factor there is a worry factor . When he lived in the dorm last year I missed him and I worried about his depression . This year I am worried that he is not getting enough food and I am worried about him getting arrested and I am worried about his safety . So far Mark the Mayor has said it is okay for them to live in the park as long as they are peaceful . He has even okayed that they rent port - a - potties and put them in the park . After seeing that footage of the U . C . Davis cops spraying the kids last night I was just sick . That is why I have decided to stay off Facebook until at least the end of the week this week . I jump on for about a minute at a time and make sure there are no messages and that is it . It 's a little bit strange to live mostly without Facebook . I have become so used to using it as a communication device and also just to post my thoughts . For example today as I was watching The Office I was thinking of Michael Scott and how he is one of the best examples of a well - written " Lovable Buffoon " character and how there are some examples of how he is consciously using the buffoonery as a management tool , yet other examples of how he is truly an innocent . . . If I can 't get a thesis out of Buffy , maybe Michael Scott can be my subject . That is alPosted by I don 't want to do anything . I don 't want to blog or write in any way . I don 't want to be on Facebook any more . I am tired of cooking and cleaning . I don 't want to talk to people . I don 't want to go to counseling . I don 't want to work . I don 't want to read . I am tired . Sweet nothing . I came right home after work . All have done since my return is clean and nap and watch TV on Netflix . I am grateful for nothing . I called Michael tonight because I was still in town after my massage . I wanted to see if he might like to hang out at Player 's Pub with me and I would feed him some yummy food . He has lost about five non - affordable pounds and that makes me worry . When he answered I asked , " What 's up ? " and he replied " I 'm facilitating a very contentious GA . " ( GA = Occupy Bloomington General Assembly ) . I started reading on the OB Facebook page a little bit ago and they are falling apart a little bit . There has become some division between the long - time occupants of the park and the Occupants . I 've worried a lot about that the entire time , but tried to give everybody a fair chance . One staunch Occupant , a leader ( even though they are supposed to have a " horizontal " structure ) has already called it quits . I hope if it is getting rough that Michael comes home quickly . I don 't want hm to be a quitter , but I don 't want him to endanger his health , his scholarships , his anything . He may need to learn that little actions can be meaningful in addition or maybe even instead of a group action . That said , I am grateful that he has had his time there to feel a part of an exceptional , strong - believing community . I know he has learned a lot - I mean MY GOD ! He was FACILITATING A MEETING ! I am glad I went to Player 's Pub to hear Maryll sing , but I wish I would have jumped on the internet sooner so it wouldn 't have been too late to call Michael and check in . I am so grateful I hired the Hoosier Disposal to do my trash . They also pick up the recycling . My garage was OUT OF CONTROL . After only two weeks I am going to be able to get my car in the garage before it gets really cold or snows . Very few trips to the dump now , because the only thing they don 't take is glass . I have guys who come pick up my metal to scrap it so that will be taken care of easily ( Hoosier would take it , but I 'd rather help these guys make money . ) I feel a little bit badly about leaving my local guy to go to a national company . When I called to cancel John , I talked to the girl and told her the minute they take recycling to call me and I would go back . She said they are working on it . I was so exhausted at the end of the work day today I had to come home and sleep . I 've also slept off and on through the evening . After I woke up from the first rest I made a pot of chili and took it downtown and also picked up Michael . He came home and met with a bass player and they played together . I guess Michael is back to auditioning for his progressive metal band . This guy was pretty good and they played for over two hours . I slept periodically and watched The Office episodes on Netflix . I might take some Benedryl and watch another episode while it kicks in , then I will head to bed . and . . . WOOT ! Emily is off work the weekend of December 3 & 4 so Michael and I are heading to the land up north to go visit . I can 't wait . Sinus headache today - I had to take Sudafed . Therefore I slept on my lunch hour and slept a little when I returned home . I didn 't get home until after 8 : 00 . Michael and I went to the Memorial Service for Don Swank this evening . It was a nice service . This church hosts a shelter in the summertime so the Pastor knew Don and it was a pretty personal service . I like the idea of that church and I am thinking of volunteering at their shelter next summer . I went downtown in between work and the service and took Michael out to dinner . I am so glad I have a good relationship with my children . Emily actually sounded kind of wistful a couple of days ago when she said , " I want you to come visit me . " We 're working on it ! Today 's MeYou Health challenge was to pay somebody a genuine compliment . I had looked at the challenge earlier today , but I wasn 't really thinking of it when I told Michael he 's a good boy . When I looked at it again tonight I was really happy that I am able to say nice things to my children and that they truly are wonderful people ! I pegged one family as Mormon . It seems to me that there are many visibly Mormon families featured on the show . Telltale signs include artwork , clothing , location and vocabulary . It reminded me of my own post last night , reveling in my grapefruit spoons and how they remind me of my grandmother . I pondered : Sometimes I wonder if there are so many Mormons on " Hoarders " because the family history thing teaches people to attach an actual spiritual value to objects . and got several replies : Joy Shayne Laughter Really ? Interesting ! I 'll take Buddhism 's non - attachment and meditations on impermanence any day . about an hour ago · Like · 1Hope E Golightly Me too ! about an hour ago · LikeKen Spaulding Mormons are nothing if not materialistic . . . about an hour ago · LikeHope E Golightly I don 't want to click " Like " because I don 't like it , but I definitely agree . Maybe I was too poor to stay Mormon ! about an hour ago · Like · 1Ken Spaulding FB needs an " agree " button more than a " like " buttonabout an hour ago · LikeHope E Golightly Agree ! about an hour ago · LikeKen Spaulding You agree . . . but you don 't like it . OK59 minutes ago · Unlike · 1Nan Harvey Interesting . Does the Mormon family history thing include keeping items that belonged to their ancestors ? I 'm not Mormon , but the genealogy thing does make me hang on to old photos and heirlooms more than I might have otherwise . I 'm driven more by puzzle solving when I work on genealogy , though there is a spiritual aspect to feeling the connection between myself and those became before , as well as the interconnection with people living today . . . . See More49 minutes ago · LikeNora Chisnell Food storage ! 42 minutes ago · Like · 1Mylese Tucker I 've never been taught to attach a spiritual value to an object . 33 minutes ago · LikeNora Chisnell And saving supplies ( crap ) for the apocalypse . 32 minutes ago · Like · 1Sarah Pechin Pacheco Born and raised Mormon , and have never put a spiritual attachment to an object , nor have I ever heard of that . Ever . I know a lot of hoarders who arenPosted by I Love grapefruit . I love my grapefruit spoons . My grandma had them and I always wanted them when I grew up and I have them ! I won 't take Lipitor because you can 't eat grapefruit when you do . I am grateful for Aldi because grapefruit were onky thirty - nine cents today . They are a dollar at Kroger ! but I slept late this morning and was VERY lazy until afternoon . When I finally got going I went shopping for close to four hours . . I went to TJ Maxx , Big Lots , Sam 's Club and Goodwill . I decided I was on a quest for some Christmas gifts today . Although we haven 't had the official " home made or second hand " last year and this year I would like to stick to it as much as possible , for both financial and sustainability reasons . I found a couple of small things today that are good starting points . Now I just need a blowtorch . . . : ) I am grateful today that my feet let me shop today . They complained , but not enough to make me give in . Sometimes the effects set in the day after , we 'll see . I 'm glad Emily called me today and genuinely wanted to see me and Michael . Sometimes I feel so separated from her . I miss her terribly . She 's never been the clinging type so I know not to expect it . I am the clingy type , but I try to repress it so I don 't bother her . Emily , I love you dearly and I can 't wait to see you soon ! Do you have a blowtorch ? As usual . It was a beautiful death . I wonder if the singers have special lessons on how to sing while lying down . . . La Traviata has one of the most beautiful death solos . . . if I recall correctly it is also quite long . I remember thinking ( even though it was beautiful ) " just DIE already ! " Tonight I was inwardly patient with Mimi 's death , but my restless and painful legs were twitching and jerking from a long day at the office and then sitting some more . I stood and walked a little or did calf raises during intermissions but I was definitely reminded why I don 't usually like to go out or do anything on Fridays . I am so glad to live in this town where I can see professional quality operas and concerts - about a fifteen minute drive and about thirty dollars . I wonder how much a ticket to the Met costs . I am so grateful for music . It is a link between people . Right now it is a link with history . One of my friends found a recording of the opera singer of whose stuff I purchased a lot of to keep it from being destroyed . I 've had the items for a couple of years and I am deciding what to do , keep / sell ? ? ? I mailed a couple of the books to a friend today . I have some very personal items in addition to books , sheet music , playbills and such . Listening to this recording makes it all seem more real . Tonight I watched Christina Aguilera 's " Beautiful " I love it so much . I never thought I would like her because when she first started being played on the radio it seemed like she was just a teenybopper pop star who wore a lot of makeup . After I actually listened to a song and realized what an incredible vocalist she is I was blown away . I still don 't know a lot of her music because my radio station doesn 't play it . I need to make an effort to listen to more of it . http : / / www . youtube . com / watch ? v = eAfyFTzZDMM & ob = av2e I don 't even know what I want to write tonight . I 'm really grateful for friends . I 'm grateful that I was able to have John Lennon alive for part of my life . On the way downtown tonight I listened to the radio and they did the " time capsule " from 1980 . It occurred to me that he died right after that album . . . ( Double Fantasy ) was released . Michael wasn 't even born until 1991 . He has always lived a life when John Lennon was an historical figure , no more real than George Washington is for me , maybe . I guess we have video of John , but it 's still so ethereal . . . I felt like crying when I thought of all this . I guess I can only hope that there will be other examples of peace and enlightenment for today 's youth to follow . Maybe these people working toward the current call for change will be the next round of heroes . Maybe the kids living in the park ARE the heroes . I told Deb Ochs about three weeks ago I would make buttermilk pie for her . We were talking about her grandma , who had given me a Christmas tree that I used for several years when Emily was a baby . Deb said one of the best memories of her grandma was of her buttermilk pie . So I said I 'd make one , researched recipes , bought buttermilk about a week ago and still didn 't make it . Finally tonight after Scrabble club I made two of the pies . After I put them in the oven I texted Deb . She called me back and told me her grandma died today . Today I am thankful for synchronicity , for Scrabble Club , for smart and funny people who like to play Scrabble and for kind people in the world . With the violence in the world it is easy to be sad , then something wonderful will happen and I get a little faith restored . I 'm going to La Boheme Friday night . I think that will make it the opera I have seen the most time . I know that will be at least three and maybe four times . As far as sleep , last night was a loser ! I guess that tonight I just hope to get back to the six or seven hours I had for a few nights in a row before last night . The strange part was that I started to bed early , well before 10 : 00 , and still ended up not actually getting into bed until just about 12 : 00 . Maybe it has to do with the time change , but I don 't really think so . I don 't think an hour has ever been enough to throw me off . I wonder if I am more sensitive to it this year because my sleep has been so much more disturbed then ever . I went to Christine tonight . Frighteningly , ( key word in my life . . . ) I feel like the EFT helped tonight . It almost scares me to say that because then I will have top make some kind of commitment to getting better and I will just fuck it up all over again . I guess here 's to one more fresh start ! ? Tonight I plan to look at my vision board some more . I will think not just that I want to be all those dreams , ideas and notions , but that I already am those dreams , ideas , and notions . What I need to figure out is how to manifest those things in a way that satisfies my emotional , physical , mental and spiritual needs to my satisfaction and is motivated by love and not guilt . Way deep here for just before bedtime . I feel guilty ( Argh . Urgh . ) that I didn 't bake a cheesecake to take to Scrabble tomorrow . YOU know what ? If I had done it instead of resting I would have stayed up too late and not even been able to enjoy Scrabble time anyway ! It 's important that I go wide awake , feeling good , and happy . I will be more fun and SMARTER that way . Urgh . Did all my shopping and errands yesterday , including a trip to the evil empire . It was two hours of sheer hell . Eric and I went to dinner afterward . We went to Waffle House - I haven 't been there in maybe 15 years . . . The food was kind of grody , really , but it is a good place to talk . Eric is having drama with his friends he hangs out with . I long for the day he realizes that many of them are toxic people in his life and that he will be better off without them . I really care about him and I think he would be so much happier . I kind of said so last night , but I think he really doesn 't want to let them go . There must be something he gets from these friendships that I just can 't see . I spent most of today watching a movie in intervals , spliced with cooking . I made an enchilada casserole and corn cake . . I really enjoyed my cooking and housework today . The movie I watched was called " A Little Help . " I chose it because Jenna Fisher from The Office was in it . I really liked it . Oh ! I also watched one with Luke Wilson called " Tenure . " I liked it , too . I took the food downtown and attended most of a General Assembly meeting . I am starting to feel more comfortable speaking up and I am getting to know some of the people . The second portion of the meeting was spent discussing the man who died the other night - Don Swank . One of his friends sort of eulogized him . That was very nice . The people from the camp who had discovered him and tried to revive him sort of told how it went . I feel like they needed to tell it as much as some of us needed to hear it . Now I am just relaxing . I need to do a little cleaning and try to get to bed at a decent hour . The latter part of last week I had a maybe three nights where I slept six or seven hours a night . I awakened , but was able to go back to sleep fairly quickly . Saturday I spent most of the day without a headache , today also . I did feel pretty sinus - y today and it finally began to morph into a headache about dinner time . I did go ahead at take a sudafed and some ibuprofen and I nevePosted by I went to Nashville to meet Kim C . and a couple of her friends for lunch . I 'm not much of a recreational shopper , but I stuck around for a couple of hours and shopped too . I even actually purchased something - a pair of earrings and a flying pig " stone " - whimsical . . . I went down to the Occupation and sat in on the end of a discussion session and knitted while I listened . Michael came home with me to eat and do laundry and we watched an episode of " Buffy " together ( except I napped ) . Last night I had gone down and taken dinner to the Occupants . One of the previously homeless drunks talked to me and Michael . He kept showing me his heart tattoo and said several times , " My heart beats for you . " I was a little bit stressed by his insistence at talking to me and asked Michael to " protect " me from the drunks - mostly from discomfort , psychologically - I had nothing to fear physically . The drunk ( Don ) went to bed and died in his sleep overnight . I feel a little bit freaked out about it and a little bit grateful that I probably made his last meal that didn 't come out of a bottle . I hope he died peacefully . If I say it enough or rationalize perfectly it 's true ! Using the " I haven 't gone to bed yet " is the best method . My positive thought / affirmation / occurrence or whatever is fairly general . I had a good day . My head didn 't hurt until the end of the day . I made money , I helped people , I laughed . . . things were good . Thanks ! I needed that . I 've been looking at my vision board each night before I sleep , trying to harvest some positive affirmations as I doze off and trying to ward away nightmares . A couple of nights ago the phrase " Living Light " leaped into my mind . When I cut it out and posted it on my board I considered the phrase as a synonym to " sustainable living " - making choices that build a lifestyle that uses resources wisely , the resources of the earth , my financial resources , preserving my material goods , using them wisely and sharing them as able . I 've realized over the past couple of days that I can interpret that phrase a few different ways : I am trying to Live Lightly in regards to my physical health , eating with portion control , using whole foods as close to their natural state as possible , taking fewer medications , using natural wholistic healing methods . I am literally trying to become a lighter person , to reduce my mass so that I reduce my pain and am more physically able . I am trying to develop my spirituality , to embrace the light within myself and discover the source thereof . I want to become comfortable with whatever power that is and be able to use it for personal growth , to enrich my own life and to empower me to enrich the lives of others . I want to be in a spotlight . I want to develop my talents in music , acting , reading , writing , in ways of performing and assisting others as they perform . I was recently reminded of the joy of doing makeup , costume , sets in the drama world and realize I want to be a part of that life again . I need to be in the sunlight . I need to be outside . I need to walk , ride and bask in the living sunlight and enjoys nature 's gifts . I want to " lighten up " - to view life with humor and optimism and hope . I want to get out of my funk and share joy , yea verily , to emanate peace from my very heart ! I can be the " Living Light " to myself and to others . The light will rise from within and my eyes will glow - just like " Children of the Corn . " ( just kidding on that one ) I really enjoy when I go down to the Occupation . Michael is nice , plus the other people really do their best to make me feel welcome . I got a big hug and an " I love you , " from one sweet guy . Admitted , it was after he saw the large pan of peach crisp , but he didn 't HAVE to do it at all . : ) It 's National Blog Posting Month . I 'm trying to decide if I want to continue with the gratitude theme or skip to something else . I want to do something that is positive . I 'm quite despairing of some of the situations in life right now . I feel like I cannot conquer my health problems . I feel out of control of my physical environment . I feel like my financial situation will never improve . That 's all the negative . . . well some of the negative . Here are some positives . . . I 'm thinking . . . I 'm thinking . . . I 'm thinking . . . Oh ! I didn 't eat at home all day so the dirty dish volume did not increase . OKay , one positive . I will posit some more tomorrow .
|
So many people have emailed me and sent me messages encouraging me to please write about my Postpartum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder , that I 've decided to share my experience . I don 't know what I can say , and I 've mulled it over a lot trying to come up with an angle or a thesis on the topic and I 've decided to just write and let the words come in hopes that something I say can help someone who is going through the same thing or someone whose loved one is suffering from it . At least maybe I can help someone out there feel like they 're not alone . OCD isn 't something new for me . I 've had it since I was a little girl , only I had no idea that 's what it was . Bad habits . She just has bad habits , everyone would say . First I found that I could make a sort of snuffing noise in the back of my nose and that if I did it over and over , the action satisfied something in me . It was like scratching an itch , but not a physical itch . It was more of an unsettled feeling I 'd get and if I snuffed my nose that unsettled feeling would go away for a little while . It never stayed gone for long though , and I 'd have to snuff and snuff , which drove everyone around me crazy . My parents and grandparents went to great lengths to get me to stop snuffing . My grandmother took me to an ear nose and throat specialist thinking there was something physical causing me to do it . There was talk of getting my tonsils and adenoids taken out as if that might stop the snuffing . I was tested for allergies but no one ever found anything wrong . Finally , the doctors said I had a bad habit . That was enough to get me punished . They grounded me for snuffing , took away privileges and things I liked , even threatened to spank me and finally , although I was wracked with anxiety by this point , I stopped snuffing and the only reason I did was because I found that I could twitch my nose to relieve the unsettled feeling . I became a rabbit . Twitch , twitch , twitch . My teachers complained about my constant nose twitching and pretty soon my family noticed that this was my latest bad habit and the punishments started again and again I replaced the nose twitching with a new habit until my childhood became a sequence of habits , replacing one for the next as each one was discovered . When I was ten I became seized by the terrifying thought that I was going to choke to death . The thought began from something I saw on TV and then one morning at breakfast I choked on a gnarl of chewy bacon and had to reach down my throat to pull it out . After that , I became obsessed with the fear of choking . I could think of little else . I began to dread mealtimes . I would chew and chew my food but no matter how much I chewed , it wasn 't good enough . It felt like my teeth weren 't working . They weren 't chewing good enough and I was going to choke to death , so I 'd end up holding the food in my mouth and trying to spit it into a napkin when no one was looking . Of course , my family caught on pretty quickly . I was living with my strict father and stepmother at the time and visiting my mother every other weekend . My father tried punishing me and my mother , on her weekends , tried to cajole me and convince me to please just eat and swallow my food . Every meal , no matter which parent I was with , became a struggle of threats or begging , but I held out in spite of some very harsh punishments ( physical beatings every night from my father and stepmother ) because my fear of choking was so great that I would rather be hit than face what I believed was certain death . I didn 't fear choking anymore . Instead , it became dissecting animals in Life Science class , changing in gym class and a whole array of other phobias which grew with such intensity in my pre - teen mind that I could think of nothing else besides whichever fear happened to be eating away at me at the time . I was so petrified of having my period that I believe I actually willed it not to come until I was nearly fourteen and then that began a new round of severe anxieties all based on bleeding or of people finding out that I had my period . I didn 't even tell my mother I had gotten it . I 'm what people call high strung . I 'm wound tight . You 'll notice me fidgeting almost immediately upon meeting me . My mannerisms might remind you of a squirrel in your yard , jerking nervously , looking around , constantly aware of its surroundings and assessing each and every situation for potential danger . I see myself that way , like a small animal and in my mind there is always a cat about to strike , only the way I experience it , there is not the possibility of the cat . There is no maybe the cat 's not out today , or maybe the cat isn 't interested in killing and eating me this afternoon . No . The cat is always there and it will always pounce , so I must always protect myself . I am ever vigilant . In 1999 I went to a therapist who referred me to a psychiatrist and together they diagnosed me with OCD . By that point , living in Atlanta in a deteriorating and abusive relationship , I had begun checking things . My fear of food poisoning and stomach viruses had become debilitating . I was wasting large amounts of money throwing out food that was perfectly good because I was afraid it might be spoiled and I had begun to clean and wash my hands in order to kill viruses and bacteria that I believed were going to make me sick . My fear was so great that I arranged my life around it . There were only certain places I would go or eat and I would panic about having to eat food at other people 's houses because you just don 't know about how long other people keep food and you can 't be sure about their sanitation . I had seen OCD on TV and those people were crazy . They had elaborate rituals that seemed more arbitrary than the little things I did . I wasn 't counting ceiling tiles , lining up my belongings or refusing to step on sidewalk cracks on alternating weekdays . Media portrayals of OCD are always the most dramatic and severe cases , usually the quirkiest too because that makes for the most sordid viewing , but OCD has many other manifestations . It 's different for every person who has it . Some people tend to be heavier on the O - the obsession , which is the terrifying thoughts and in others , the compulsions are more obvious . Those are the cases you see where people check their door locks or devise elaborate rituals that can often seem comic in their absurdity . I don 't do things like that so much . Instead , I get more caught up in the obsession part of OCD , though I am not wholly immune to compulsion either . My thoughts are often crippling when I 'm in the throes of the disorder , which in me , can wax and wane situationally . Obsessive thought paralyzes me . You 'd call me a worry wort , say I was neurotic and ask me why I was so anxious . Stop worrying all the time , you 'd probably tell me , meaning well of course . Often I can play it down on the outside so that to outsiders I just look a little uneasy , while inside my mind is an F5 tornado of fear and panic about whatever idea has taken hold . Other times I can 't control it , as much as I try and the thoughts become too great for me to contain and I have an all out meltdown , panic attack . These incidents make the people around me mad because to them it looks like I am freaking out over nothing and causing a scene for no reason . Maybe the reality is that there is no reason . Usually whatever I am fearing doesn 't ever happen , but my mind can 't perceive an obsessive thought as an unlikely possibility . My brain isn 't satisfied with " might not " and instead it just hears " will happen " and " is happening . " Probability and statistics are wasted on me . If I hear that there is a 95 % chance that I won 't get attacked by a shark if I go into the ocean , all I can think about is the 5 % chance that I will , except the more I think about it , the more I leave out the word chance and I forget that 5 % until I quickly convince myself that I am absolutely going to get attacked by a shark if I go in the ocean and it becomes so real to me that I see nothing but sharp , bloody teeth and the sea red with me as if it has already happened . I 'll also think in chains of binding " what ifs . " I 'm almost proud of my ability to take any situation , no matter how innocuous , and through a series of what ifs , drag it out to its inevitable conclusion , which is always me dead and alone somewhere . Let me show you an example . Here 's a simple one . What if I decided to go to Jamaica on vacation ? Well the plane will probably crash . What if the plane doesn 't crash ? What if when I get there I get malaria or a parasite ? What if someone plants drugs on me and what if I get arrested and thrown in a Jamaican prison ? What if I don 't get medical treatment for the malaria or parasite in the Jamaican prison ? What if I die in a Jamaican prison ? Oh my God , I am dead in a Jamaican prison for something I didn 't do . Screw that dream vacation in paradise . I 'm staying here where it 's safe . Go ahead . You have my permission to laugh . I know it sounds ridiculous . It is ridiculous . I had it fairly controlled for a long time . I was aware and understood finally that I had OCD . For a couple years I took medication , which worked beautifully because on the meds , I just kind of forgot to obsess and since I wasn 't wigging myself out obsessing over imagined fears and possible disasters , I didn 't need any weird habits to calm me down . I went off the Zoloft and some of the anxiety returned , but I knew what it was . I admit that I may have been a little rigid and ordered about the way I did things , but I was trying to stay in control in order to avoid situations that would flare my terror . I knew when I was being a little compulsive and I knew when I was getting scared and most of the time I could talk myself down from the proverbial ledge . I think I was managing my OCD quite well . Sometimes I didn 't even show symptoms for so long I forgot I had it . Babies change everything . Having a baby is one of the most stressful life events that there is , especially for a woman who must bear both the physical strains of pregnancy , childbirth and often nursing , as well as the psychological pressure associated with caring for an infant . It 's really , really hard . Women who have never once showed signs of OCD can suddenly find themselves overwhelmed with the disorder after having a baby . Our society puts so much pressure on mothers and for new mothers the stress of this pressure is often unbearable . Everywhere you look there 's some new study about something that 's going to harm your baby . There are recalls , you hear horrific tales of accidents unavoided on the news . Family members and even total strangers weigh in with their advice on how you should be raising and caring for your child . Someone always seems to know someone to whom something dreadful happened and if only they 'd known x , then y would never have happened and all would be well . Mothers with OCD can 't tune out these messages very well . Mothers have an instinct to protect their babies , but in mothers with OCD it 's like the natural need to nurture and keep safe blows up like an H bomb . The need is all consuming . There is nothing else except keeping that baby safe . I became obsessed with SIDS . I added obsessions about toxins , pesticides , bacterial infections , pertussis , influenza and piled on fears of other people dropping the baby , head injuries , shaken baby syndrome . I felt sick when other people held her because I wasn 't in control and they might not know how to hold her and she could hit her head on something , or fall . What if they had a virus ? What if they didn 't realize and played too rough with her and she got brain injuries ? Why are the neighbor 's spraying their yard for bugs ? What if that causes her to be autistic ? What if she chokes ? What if the formula is contaminated ? What if the crib collapses ? It is so frightening when you 're tangled up in it . Often the littlest thing I read or hear about can plant a seed in my brain and the seed with germinate and the thought will take off like kudzu , constricting around me , tying me down in its knotty vines until I can 't move and pretty soon the thoughts overtake me until I don 't feel like I even exist anymore . Maybe you 've seen the way kudzu can swallow a car or a building . The obsessive thoughts , the images of my sweet baby 's head smashed on a tile floor , they swallow me the same way . I hate the way my brain torments me . It feels like I have two minds - the one torturing and the one tortured . I can see where it might even feel as if you 're being haunted by an entity outside of yourself because when these horrible images and thoughts pop into your head , it can feel like they aren 't coming from you and you wonder then , where are they coming from ? Why won 't they go away ? Why can 't I put my baby down for a nap without seeing her blue and suffocated and feeling like I need to start planning her funeral ? Why can 't I just make it stop ? That 's where the guilt comes in . Why can 't I make it stop ? Am I weak ? Have I gone crazy ? And worse yet , worst of all , how is this affecting my baby . What a tragic irony . You fear harm coming to your baby and somehow your fear of harm becomes the very thing that might be the most harmful to her . Surely she must feel your tension and then , is she just as scared as you are ? That 's what everyone will tell you when you have Postpartum OCD . You had better cut it out or you 'll make your baby crazy . The baby feels everything you feel , they say . She 'll pick up on your fear . You don 't want to make your baby scared , do you ? These are hard words to hear when an illness you can 't control is clawing at your psyche . You may think you 're only trying to get someone to see logic and begin to behave rationally , but telling a woman with any postpartum disturbance ( depression , anxiety , OCD etc . ) that she is going to hurt her baby if she doesn 't stop acting this way isn 't helpful . It 's harmful because it piles up even more anxiety , shame and guilt . In my case the guilt is the worst , but having someone tell me I should just stop behaving the way I am also makes me mad . Adding anger to an already frothing stew of anxiety and guilt will only make the pot boil over . I guess what people don 't understand about my OCD is that I already see the logic that it seems I don 't . I already know I 'm being absurd . There 's this strange detachment that comes along with it for me . I can see myself getting more and more out of control . I can tell myself it 's just the disorder . I know I have it , yet sometimes I am powerless to stop it . Someone 'll want to hold the baby . I 'll start seeing images of the baby gasping in the ICU with pertussis . I 'll try to talk myself out of it . It 's ok . The baby 's going to be fine . But the images won 't go away , or I 'll be bombarded with more and more images of the baby coming to harm and these are detailed images worse than anything you 've seen in a horror movie . I 'll know it 's just the OCD and then I 'll start to heap guilt on myself . Stop feeling this way . You 're being crazy . You 're a mess . It doesn 't always work and then I 'll have a panic attack . No one wants to be this way . I don 't choose it . I don 't get pleasure from worrying and being afraid . Don 't you think if I could stop that I would ? I don 't get anything out of being this way except pain and psychological imprisonment . When the baby was born my OCD grew intolerable . It was as though I put on a pair of glasses . Imagine that those glasses were the wrong prescription . In fact , they were the glasses of someone who is practically blind , so the lenses are thick as bottle bottoms . When I look through them the world I see is distorted , ugly , scary , confusing . I can 't make sense of what I see with these glasses stuck on my head and I can 't get them off , so I 'm only viewing the world through a messed up lens and staggering around , knowing I 'm wearing the wrong glasses , but desperately trying to walk upright , to function normally and to find my way around in spite of them . I can 't see clearly yet . I wish I were writing this having healed , but I 'm not . I want to heal and I 'm working on it . I sought help and getting better isn 't easy . It 's hard when other people don 't understand and when they can 't feel how you feel or see things the way you do . It 's especially hard to ignore the criticism and judgment from people who think they 're only trying to help you . What I hope for myself is that soon I can pull the glasses off and play outside with my beautiful baby and see a world that welcomes both of us . A world of peace and calm , where the vines will flower and everything feels safe again . If you are struggling with any Postpartum condition or have a loved on who is , I find this site , Postpartum Progress , very helpful . It has lists of resources where you can get help and every day there are articles and stories by women who have gone through similar experiences . 23 I can 't take the Bible literally and a lot of the problem I have with religion is fundamentalism - an unyielding devotion to a literal , word for word interpretation of the Bible ( or any work as the Tea Partiers are now doing it with the US Constitution ) . Having studied language , I realized that words can never capture the full truth of anything . There will always be something missing , or not said exactly right , or something ambiguous and asking for interpretation and of course everyone interprets through their own experiences , so there can never be unanimous agreement on what something means . It 's just not possible . Plus , the meanings of words change constantly and don 't even get me started on translation after translation over thousands of years . When you view the Bible so closemindedly you really limit your ability to know God . Thinking about it even deeper , I realized that fundamentalists , in their unrelenting need to hold on to every word , lack faith . Let 's take Creationists . Ridiculous . I remember watching that episode of the Duggars where they go to the Creationist Museum in Kentucky and look at dioramas of people playing on dinosaurs . These people will twist and contort facts and just plain make stuff up to make it fit their world view because the Bible says God created the heavens and the earth . They reject hard and true scientific evidence and refuse to send their kids to school because they might learn about Evolution and for what ? It doesn 't matter . I have never understood why Creationism and Evolution had to be mutually exclusive beliefs and they don 't unless you are a person of little faith . The Bible says God created the Earth and the seas and the skies , plants , fish and animals and people . Ok , but it doesn 't say HOW . It just says that He did and that 's enough for me . I don 't need it all to have taken place in the span of seven days as we now know seven days . Who cares ? Why couldn 't God have created things through Evolution ? There is no conflict here at all . God made it all and the Universe is so complicated that we will probably never know exactly how it all was done or how it all works . Our minds can 't even comprehend the magnitude and majesty of it all and just because there were dinosaurs and the earth is billions of years old and people came from monkeys doesn 't mean that there is no God or that the Bible has to be null and void . Who are we to say that God had to do things in a way we could understand ? The Bible is filled with fantastic stories of miracles . Angels appear , bushes burn , snakes talk and pillars of salt . The Red Sea parts , water to wine and suddenly there 's enough fish and bread to feed a multitude . Stars lead the way to virgin births , heavenly hosts rejoice , lepers heal and finally the dead are raised and ascend to Heaven in human bodies . It 's probably all a bunch of nonsense . It 's fairy tales . I 'd be willing to bet that none of it happened , or if it did , it wasn 't quite as we 've been told . Back in the day when the Bible was being written , the Jews were up against some stiff competition from all the surrounding pagan religions . First the Egyptians , then the Romans and there were many other little cults and sects in between . The pagan religions were more interesting and more fun . They had better stories to draw people in and they were more entertaining and possibly even scarier and we know nothing motivates people to believe something better than fear . Because the Jews and next the early Christians needed to preserve their religion and keep followers , it 's reasonable to think that they had to match the competition a little with their own fantastical stories , otherwise the primitive thinking people of the time would migrate towards more magical religions . I mean think about it - you 've got the Egyptians with their elaborate tales of the afterlife and mighty Gods and Goddesses with the heads of animals . The jews , well , they couldn 't eat pork and shellfish . Who wouldn 't want a golden cow ? Then you 've got the Romans with multiple deities with intricate and highly entertaining mythologies . What did the early Christians have ? A scrappy rogue Rabbi . But how cool would it be if the scrappy rogue Rabbi was the product of a virgin birth and healed people and brought old men back from the dead . What if , what if . . . he walked on water ? That might give him some more clout . Hey Romans , you 've got your Neptune and Jupiter ? Well , our dude can turn water into wine . Take that gladiators . And poor Mary - doomed to be a virgin her whole life and a married virgin no less . Poor Joseph , right ? Well guess what ? I don 't need Mary to have stayed a virgin forever and I don 't even need her to have been a virgin when she got pregnant . I still have the same reverence and respect for her . If she were just a poor teenager who got pregnant with Jesus before she was married I have no problem with that whatsoever and perhaps if we could let go of the myths and tales of magic then we would be able to show a greater compassion to people in her situation now . The fairy tale aspect of religion does nothing but hold us back in our spiritual development . Thousands of years ago , when human beings were trapped in darkness and ignorance they needed magical tales in order to believe in something greater and to give them hope and reassurance , but times have changed people . Our knowledge has advanced and so should our faith . If Moses or Jesus never once performed a miracle would that negate their teachings ? Aren 't their teachings about how to love and how to live and treat one another far more important than plagues or resurrections ? Would the Ten Commandments be any less wise without the parting of the Red Sea or the Beatitudes less stirring or lesser truths if Jesus didn 't do the whole loaves and fishes routine ? Of course not , and can 't you see the obvious metaphor in that story anyway ? Could you not believe without these so called miracles ? We don 't need myths . We don 't need to reject science or grasp at ancient words to gather faith . We don 't need fantastic signs to believe . It 's all right here in front of us . God is everywhere . Everything is a miracle - sea turtles laying eggs by moonlight , the making of babies , plumeria , papaya , ring tailed leaping lemurs , your grandmother , the subway , a fire , pickles and grilled cheese sandwiches , hula dancers , books and words , Christmas , Hindu temples and even the asphalt on the roads . Everything . Look around you and celebrate . I thought about this and I decided that I really wanted to share with you a book that I am in ! Were it not for this blog and for you readers , I wouldn 't have written this story and it wouldn 't be published in this wonderful anthology , so I thank you . You don 't even know how much I thank you . I am so proud to have been included in Press Pause Moments . Anne Witkavitch edited an interesting and diverse group of essays by women about making changes in their lives and I enjoyed reading the other stories in the collection . I think you will too . Here 's the product description from Amazon , which I think describes it better than I can ( my story is the one about getting a degree ! ! ) : " Life is about change . . . As human beings we 're always changing , growing , transforming and transitioning our lives . . . but whether it is our circumstances that lead us to take a new path or a desire to pursue a goal or dream , as women we learn that we have the power to choose who we want to be , what we want to do , and what kind of life we want to lead . These words introduce Press Pause Moments : Essays about Life Transitions by Women Writers , a collection of beautifully crafted tales by 36 women writers reflecting upon change , adversity and celebration . The essays covering a diverse range of topics such as marriage , divorce , widowhood , parenthood , infertility , sexuality , surviving abuse , facing a medical crisis , moving a home , changing careers , and obtaining a degree are written by women who have celebrated , mourned , taken control and transformed through the transitions of their lives . As women we look at life transitions in many ways , sometimes one layered upon the other . However , when we press pause , as will happen when reading these stories , inner voices become quiet long enough to pay attention to what is going on within us and around us . We learn that true press pause moments are those points in time when we fully realize the need to make change happen , and become greater than our existing selves . " 3 I 'm so happy I 've been able to get back into reading , you don 't even know . Thank God for the Kindle because it allows me to buy books without having to leave the house and the instant gratification is perfect for an impatient person like me . It 's like I can finish a book and in five minutes start another one . The last time I asked for recommendations someone told me about Rhoda Janzen 's Mennonite in a Little Black Dress and I can not thank this person enough . This book was exactly what I needed , exactly when I needed it and also I love Mennonites . There are lots of Mennonites in Millpond . I used to admire their little mesh caps and wish I could have one . A Mennonite family lived across the street from us and I used to play with their daughter although she was no fun at all because she was a goody goody and I much preferred the white trash girl who lived across the street because she would make the Barbies have sex . But this book was perfect . I liked the tone and I honestly haven 't laughed so much at a book since I first found David Sedaris . I think I mentioned that before . Anyway , it 's the true story of a woman who was raised Mennonite , chose a worldly life and married a mentally ill man who left her for another man right when she was enduring some pretty serious health problems . In order to heal her body and spirit , she goes back home and makes peace with herself and her upbringing and it 's freaking hilarious . I love Janzen 's descriptions of Mennonite life and she writes with such a lighthearted matter - of - factness about the most painful parts of her life . I also loved her approach to writing about spirituality with comedy and sincerity . It was just beautiful . I haven 't loved a book so much in a long time . I was so sad when I finished that I instantly needed something else just like it . I decided to go with the Kindle 's recommendations for me . It has this " If you liked x , then you 'll like y " feature . I thought I 'd take its word for it and see . The Kindle told me I 'd love a book with a most unwieldy title - The New York Regional Mormon Single 's Halloween Dance by Elna Baker . Oh my God people . Loved it . The Kindle knows me . Elna Baker is a Mormon in her 20s , but the craziest thing is that she 's hip and cool , like someone I know I 'd immediately want to be best friends with . Reading this book , I felt like I knew her and she was so damned funny ! Imagine that , a funny Mormon ! And she 's not just funny , she 's endearing , reasonable , tolerant , sweet and so absolutely likable . Baker 's memoir follows her as she leaves her large , traditional Mormon family and moves to New York City for college . There she is tempted and tried . She gets a job , she loses a huge amount of weight and for the first time in her life becomes pretty and seeks the attention of men . Baker tries to date , learns to kiss and falls in love with an atheist and all of it is so delightful to read . You just root for her the whole time . I also liked that Baker doesn 't apologize for her religious beliefs , which she sticks to ( she 's a virgin ! ) and she explains her convictions so eloquently that a religion that had once seemed so ridiculous to me , kind of started to sound a little more sensible , though I still wonder why no one ever called Joseph Smith out on losing the golden plates , but whatever . I can 't tell you how much I loved this adorably quirky book . You must read it . You really must . She even travels , visiting Cyprus and Africa . Here 's Baker 's web site and blog . I wish she blogged more often because I can 't get enough of her writing . I was pleasantly surprised to see she got her start on The Moth , which is one of my favorite radio shows / podcasts . I have a big dream to tell one of my stories on The Moth one day . The next book I read is Jessie Scholl 's memoir of hoarding , Dirty Secret . I want to devote a whole post to this one because it was fascinating and really made me think about my own life and habits a lot . The book is sad and hard at times , but I was riveted and I definitely recommend it . I 'll write about it in more depth soon . Right now I 'm reading a very disturbing memoir called Tiger , Tiger : A Memoir by Margaux Fragoso . It 's about a victim of child sexual abuse and I may not continue with it because it 's too graphic and emotionally hard for me to read . I don 't know . We 'll see and I 'll write about it further when I think about it some more . Yesterday in my updates I forgot to mention # 16 . Yes , my parents have hired their sixteenth housekeeper / cleaning lady / nanny person after Kimmy , who was # 15 , disappeared under mysterious circumstances . # 16 is working out quite nicely so far . She 's much older than Kimmy , which is good , because I think some of Kimmy 's nonsense can be attributed to the follies of her youth . # 16 is Hungarian and only speaks a little English . She 's organized and responsible and works hard , but then again they all seem that way for the first few weeks . My mom likes this one a lot though , so let 's hope she works out well because the last thing my mother needs is more stress and aggravation , what with having her identity stolen and all that . I realized though , that # 16 is actually # 17 . When I did my grand count of housekeepers we 'd had over my lifetime - Jill , Susan , Tammy , Nadia , Vicki , Maxine , Catherine , Wanda , Nury , Aunt Kevin , Cecelia , Idalia , Soccorro , Miriam and Kimmy - that somehow I 'd forgotten Ella , and Ella was one of my very favorites , fitting in between Susan and Tammy . Ella was # 3 . I can 't exactly define Ella as formal hired help . I don 't know what she was - a babysitter , a companion for my mother , entertainment , cake baker and fun . She was a lot of things to us . She was also , I suspect , impossibly young , terribly uneducated , deeply impoverished and without a great deal of choices . Ella was a six foot black girl from the public housing sector behind the street where my mother and grandfather lived in Dover , Delaware . I was in the fifth grade at the time and still lived with my father and stepmother in the old farmhouse out in the country . My mother and grandfather lived on a street in a rough part of town , my mother living in a row house on one side of the street and my grandfather inhabiting a duplex on the same street but on the opposite side and down a little ways . My grandfather 's young wife had just up and left him and he was stuck with a baby . My mother was desperately trying to get custody of me and start a cosmetics business , but found herself caring for my grandfather 's toddler daughter because he had to work driving trucks and wasn 't home all the time . It was a hard time in all of our lives and not a period we look back at with a lot of fondness . In fact , Ella is probably the one positive thing in our lives from that time . Lord knows where my grandfather found Ella . She lived nearby , so he could very well have found her at the bus stop or walking down the street . Maybe he sold her produce . My grandfather was like that - always bringing people home , befriending everyone in the strangest of places . He hired Ella to babysit , though I doubt she was ever formally salaried . I don 't know if anyone paid her and she obviously didn 't care . Ella must not have had a family because she latched right on to ours and didn 't leave for at least a year . Not that we cared because she was so good natured . Ella was one of those people who brings Christmas in the middle of the muddiest , grayest March day . She was like getting flowers when it wasn 't even a special occasion . We all liked Ella because she was always happy and I 'm guessing she probably didn 't have all that much reason to be by our standards . Not that she cared about standards . Ella just liked to dance . She loved " Roxanne Roxanne " and that song about playing basketball ( remember that song ? ) but she 'd dance to whatever we put on , even my grandfather 's country . She didn 't care . Most people would have called Ella promiscuous or said she had a problem because her other favorite thing to do was have sex , which she talked about constantly . Supposedly she had a boyfriend but he was like her Stedman . She talked about him all the time , but no one ever saw him . She didn 't act particularly committed to him either , because she liked to get out at nights and pick up some " strange " as she called it . I shouldn 't remember this about her because I was only ten at the time , but I wasn 't particularly sheltered I suppose . I don 't remember being shocked by any of her raunchy stories either . I think I liked them . In some school program for low income teens in the projects , Ella had been taught the unusual trade of cake decorating . She said as soon as they put the pastry bag in her hand she knew she was born to make icing roses and that there was no other life for her . All she wanted to do was fill the world with swoops and stars , garlands and best wishes of rainbow butter - cream , and looking at her that would definitely be the last thing you 'd think she was born to do . Ella had a real talent for cake decorating though and she loved making me elaborate cakes as much as I loved eating them . What I most loved about Ella 's cakes was that they didn 't follow the rules . While they were decorated as pristinely as cakes in the bakery , they were wildly colored with whatever creative combination Ella thought might be cool . Fat neon shoelaces were in style at the time and I swear Ella got some of her cake color combos from the strings of breakdancing shoes . I have a picture somewhere ( I have no idea or I would scan it for you ) of a cake she made that was this hideous coral with big , bright purple roses all over it , and way too many roses to ever be tasteful . Ella understood that for children you just can 't have too many roses on a cake . For that alone , she was amazing . Once I asked her if it was possible to make a cake with black icing . I wanted to know because I 'd never seen such a thing and it was exotic and seemed somehow forbidden to me . They didn 't sell black food coloring in the Acme store you know . I didn 't know it existed . I had a similar fascination with the elusive grape Jell - o but that 's another story . Do you know that Ella went to the cake decorating specialty shop , found some black food coloring paste and made me a black cake ? Our tongues were dark as chow - chows after eating it . It looked like pens had exploded in our mouths and we probably had black poop all weekend , but dammit , we had a black cake . A black cake . And we ate it in the penthouse of a drug dealer in a high rise building in Ocean City , Maryland . The drug dealer was my mom 's friend and he let us stay in his place the winter I was ten because he wasn 't using it and my mom wanted to get away from the row houses for a while . Ella came with . That 's where we met CJ the first lesbian I ever knew . She and Ella became good friends . I just can 't remember what happened . I don 't know where Ella went . Like so many people who 've passed through our lives , it 's like one day she was gone . I wonder what happened to her . I wonder what she 's doing right now . Does she have kids or grandkids ? Is she working the bakery at the Superfresh at this moment , piping " Happy Birthday " on a white cake with just a couple pink roses daintily clustered in one corner ? " my favorite posts are the ones about the crazy people you worked with and have encountered in the past . In my opinion , you 're the best there is when it comes to documenting insanity . Your challenge now is to figure out how to come up with new material now that your life , and the people in it , are sane and normal . " God bless you Lara . I can only wish that the people in my life were sane and normal . Shoot , I wish I knew one person who was normal . Actually I do . My friend Emma is sane and normal . Everyone else is just as batshit as ever . I swear . Including me . Also , someone else commented that they miss my stories from my old work such as the story where the woman bleached her teeth so much that they were clear . That woman I just wrote about last year ! ! She 's my parents ' friend 's girlfriend ! ! So see , plenty of crazy to go around still . Don 't worry . I should tell you guys about some of the characters in my new neighborhood soon . We have this one lady that everyone calls " The Stalker . " Now go see Lara and give her some love . She 's got these amazing posts with no comments and that 's just a travesty . I love her most recent one about her husband cooking . It 's really inspiring , especially to me right now , and it 's well written . Me - Someone commented the other day that my blog is whiny and a downer . Well , I don 't know what to say . Maybe it is . Aren 't most blogs that way ? I admit . I haven 't been very happy lately , so there . I 'm not happy , but I 'm working on being happy and my husband and I are " talking to someone " and I don 't want to discuss that anymore . Maybe I 'll be happier soon and my writing will be too . Otherwise I 'm healthy and fine . I 've just had a lot going on lately and most of it I haven 't been able to write about publicly , so you 'll just have to trust me that I 've been going through some major stuff . On the other hand , my life isn 't that bad . I love my house and my new neighborhood . I take long walks with the baby every day and watch the sunsets over the water . It 's not an unpleasant life and I am dealing with my issues , one of which is something icky called Postpartum OCD . Generally I 'm reluctant to write about things like that , which is why I 've never written in depth about my illness or what it was like to have radiation or anything like that . I don 't want to be defined by that stuff and I don 't particularly want to become the Internet poster child for Obsessive Compulsives or rare and annoying thyroid diseases . But you know , maybe I 'll let you all in a little more and write about it . Maybe it would help . I don 't know . My Sister - She 's doing great . I think she 's a much better mother than I am . She seems to enjoy it more and be significantly less neurotic about baby related things than I am . Her baby girl is doing fine now after a rocky start in the NICU . Mommy and baby are healthy and thriving and I 'm very jealous that little cousin has no problems consistently sleeping eleven hours in a row , whereas Baby Lawns can barely sleep two hours at a time and has never slept through the night . In preparation for being neighbors , we 've decided to combine yards for the benefit of the girls when they get bigger . We had both yards leveled and we 're going to start over with landscaping . We want to get one big fence , start a vegetable garden and plant several fruit trees to share . We think it 's important for the kids to be able to take part in gardening and know where their veggies and fruit come from and we want them to have that connection to nature . Plus , it 's just fun to be able to pick fruit out of your own yard . All kids should have that when possible . My Parents - Oh you know them . They 're fine . My dad is off to Israel today to visit his little sister who had a baby just a week before Baby Lawns was born . Because of the birth of his two grandchildren he wasn 't able to get over there to visit his relatives and see his new niece , so he 's going now since they won 't be coming here for Passover this year as they normally do . The movie is in the final stages of editing . We saw a director 's cut last week and it 's really a sweet , funny movie . It 's called " Should 've Been Romeo " and I hope when it comes out you 'll all go see it . I don 't know if they have a distributor yet or when it will be released , but when I find out , I 'll let you know . My parents haven 't been traveling on the RV as much because of the babies , so they haven 't had as many exciting adventures as usual . They just love being grandparents and I 've really enjoyed seeing them in that role . My mom had her identity stolen by someone in Texas and they really had a field day with her social security number , even going so far as to file tax returns in her name ! It 's a mess , but she doesn 't seem too stressed out about it and she 's getting it taken care of . Baby Lawns - She 's getting big and strong and she really has a distinctive personality now . She 's extremely friendly and social - so active and lively . She 's a rolling machine . She wants to propel herself around and being that she can 't crawl yet , she rolls wherever she wants to go . She has two big teeth on the bottom and the top ones are coming in now too . I think this may be partly to blame for her sleeplessness , although to my utter joy and amazement she has been sleeping exceptionally well since Thursday night . Let 's hope she keeps it up . Canela - Canela has been escaping . Every chance she gets she bolts out the door and doesn 't stop running . On one of her AWOL escapades she picked up a load of fleas so now she 's itching and biting and I have to give her a bath this weekend and put some Frontline on her , which is a hassle I didn 't want to deal with . Like I don 't have enough crap to do around here . I swear . Bella - I 'm a little upset that I haven 't heard a word from my cousin in almost two months now . I can only take this to mean that she is all wrapped up in her boyfriend Cal and that he didn 't ditch her for not symbolically reaching over and unlocking his already unlocked power locks . I hope Bella isn 't mad at me . I really got the sense that she was upset about me having a baby and not being able to do the things we used to do anymore and that makes me very sad . Fallon - This is the cousin I wrote about last Fall who was in the abusive relationship and dropped all contact with everyone on my side of the family . Unfortunately , even after I tried to reach out to her it 's still the same radio silence on her end . I even tried to text and ask if it was something I did or if it was her fiance not liking my parents , sister and me and she just texted back and said " sorry I 'm busy . " It 's such a shame . My Grandmothers - Oh you know them . They 're both great actually . They hated their snowy winter and they both live for pictures of Baby Lawns and then they send her care packages . I call both of them weekly and they go on and on about their doctor appointments and a bunch of people in town who died that I don 't know . Because they live in the same town and know the same people I have to hear the same conversation twice , but it 's ok . I talked to Mommom Jewel the other day about Lent . She 's a church lady , Mommom Jewel is . Methodist . I 've mentioned before how she doesn 't know how liberal her church actually is and she has no clue that her pastor is gay . I think it 's hysterical . But anyway , we were talking about my going to the Catholic church by my house and my Lenten sacrifice and she said for years she tried to give stuff up for Lent and it never worked and she never felt any closer to God from doing it . This year at her church the wonderful gay pastor has been giving sermons about how people can sacrifice their time for others during Lent instead of giving up a material thing . The Methodist church is big on service to the community , which is one of the reasons I really support their beliefs . Mommom has been volunteering even more than usual and she made a commitment to cheer someone up and make someone laugh every single day . Isn 't that sweet ? I just love that idea . I think that 's what I 'll do next year . I feel like this year I already made my sacrifice and I don 't want to go back on it and change my mind halfway through . I 'm terrible at sticking with things and have zero discipline , so I really want to see it through the whole 40 days with no chocolate . Speaking of which . . . I 'm making a coconut cake for Sunday dinner today . I realized this week that the one thing I love just as much as chocolate is coconut . Of course I like coconut better with chocolate , but it 's divine without it too . Have you tried Haagen Dasz pineapple coconut ice cream ? Oh my God . You have to . Chocolate who ? And Last - As you know I am theologically promiscuous and like to incorporate ideas and customs from many different religions into our lives , both to honor my diverse patchwork quilt of a family and also because I enjoy it . We are going to have a Hebrew baby naming ceremony for Baby Lawns and we need to choose a Hebrew name for her . We are soliciting ideas from all over . I 'm asking my Jewish grandparents , my aunt in Israel who just had her own baby girl and I 'm going to ask you guys for ideas too and then maybe for fun we 'll do another poll and pick Baby Lawns her special Jewish name . If you have any ideas , please leave them in the comments section . Books - I am on a total book bender now and it all started with a reader comment ! I 've read three incredible books in the past two weeks and I 'm going to do another book post soon to tell you about them because I 'm so excited to share . Get your ideas ready for me too . Sunday dinner - It 's my turn to do Sunday dinner today and I 'm making Barefoot Contessa 's turkey sausage lasagna . It 's the best lasagna I 've ever eaten and pretty easy to make . We 're having it with salad , whole grain garlic toast and coconut cake . Feast Day ! ! I started this blog in October of 2005 after reading a New York Times article about blogging and about super famous , book deal blogger Stephanie Klein . I didn 't know a thing about computers , except how to type on them and look up stuff on the Internet . I didn 't even consider myself a writer back then . I just knew that I had some funny stories . When I wrote about my old job my blog blew up overnight . I had crazy traffic . I had literary agents and TV executives interested . None of that worked out because I didn 't have enough real writing experience . Then I got busted by a coworker , pretty much threatened with legal action and I used that as the catalyst to quit my job and go to grad school where I was offered a position as a graduate teaching assistant . I decided to try grad school and I loved it . Three years later I had an MFA in creative writing . I was a real teacher then . I started seeing myself as a real writer and I grew so much creatively . The problem was that as I grew as a writer , my blog shrunk . My traffic now is a fraction of what it was and I get that . I still have plenty of followers and daily visitors , but my writing about my life doesn 't have the same shock appeal ( usually ) as my old stuff . I like how I write now much better and I have plenty of material from the people I know and the things that I observe and remember . I don 't work anymore because I need to stay home to take care of Baby Lawns . Right now it wouldn 't work for me to go back to teaching and I like being home with her while she 's so little . I don 't mind sacrificing a paycheck and all that comes with it for her , but now I find that during the day I have more free time to write . She 's napping right now as a matter of fact . I miss all the writing I did in grad school and this blog provides me with the structure and feedback I need to keep writing now in my new life . It motivates me and it 's fun . I like interacting with all of you . I want my blog to grow though . I read some hugely popular blogs and I think all the time that my stories are just as good and just as entertaining , if not more so . I want to share my writing and my life with more people . It 's not to make money and it 's not because I 'm an attention seeking fame whore . It 's because I 'm a writer and we writers want to be read . I want to interact with even more readers because that makes me write more and the more I write , the better I get at it and the happier I am . I 'm miserable when I don 't get to write . I 'd write all day if I could . I think a lot of the reason that my blog isn 't all that popular is because it 's ugly . Since October of 2005 , I have never changed it and that 's because I 'm a Luddite and don 't know how . I can barely post a picture without messing everything up . My blog is like the frumpy girl in Clueless who is secretly hot and super cool and just needs a makeover . It 's like a house whose decor is stuck in the 70s with wood paneling and big floral wallpaper on the ceiling . It needs a designer to come in and revamp it . I need help people of the Internet . My blog needs a serious makeover . I need the Stacey and Clinton of web design to intervene . It 's time . I just don 't know where to look and I can 't afford most of the blog fancying up services I 've found . I thought the best thing to do would be to ask you all for advice . Does anyone know where I could find someone to spice up my blog ( who wouldn 't charge a fortune ) to make it pretty and hip and no longer frumpy so maybe it can finally take off its glasses and cardigan and slip on some leather pants , get a perm and dance with the hottest guy in school inside a fun house ? 31 I 've been playing with alternative desserts , but remember the whole point of this chocolate fast was because I don 't really like many other non - chocolate desserts . I had a wholly unsatisfying few bites of vanilla ice cream last night . Last weekend while on vacation , I got a slice of key lime pie after dinner . The only thing I 've had that really seemed to satiate my desire was carrot cake , which I thought I didn 't like . Apparently in desperate times I will eat close to anything . This past weekend kind of proves that . Saturday was the Jewish holiday of Purim and my Jewish grandmother made the traditional Purim cookie called Hamantaschen . Hamantaschen are triangular cookies , shortbreadish in nature , which are filled . They are very much like a jam thumbprint cookie except a different shape . Hamantaschen are kind of blehh , mainly because they don 't traditionally involve chocolate . Authentic , old school Hamantaschen are filled with poppyseeds or prunes , two things which need to be banned from desserts forever as far as I 'm concerned . Like fruitcake and black jellybeans , only old people like desserts with prunes and poppyseeds as the star ingredients . I was so desperate this weekend that I ate prune and poppyseed cookies although I don 't even like them . I tried to think of sweets from my childhood that I enjoyed and I remembered my Aunt Sheila used to make this cherry cobbler , crisp thing that I was crazy over . I thought I 'd try to make it for Sunday dinner this week and see if it still tasted as good as I 'd remembered . Well , no . I was in for Nasty - Assed Recipes Surprise Edition . The thing , which Aunt Sheila calls " Cherry Pineapple Delight " is known to the rest of the world as a dump cake and it 's sickeningly sweet and generally disgusting . You dump a can of cherry pie filling and a can of crushed pineapple into a baking dish and cover it with a bag of dry yellow cake mix . Then you sprinkle pecans over that and drizzle a stick of melted butter on top of it . Throw the mess in the oven at 350 for a half an hour and that 's it . Gross . Clearly my tastes have changed significantly since childhood because I hated it . I guess as a kid I just didn 't know any better and sweets were so rare that I probably would have liked anything containing sugar . I liked a lot of gross stuff as a kid - things I haven 't taken a mouthful of since my age has been measured in double digits . I took a brief inventory of these things in my memory and realized that many of them didn 't contain any chocolate , so then I thought maybe I should go back and try them all over again just for fun . Problem is , they are all processed garbage . Twinkies , hand pies , white iced honey buns , pecan twirls , snowballs . I don 't think I could choke any of it down . The other day I was in the grocery store and ice cream was on sale . You know , I couldn 't find a flavor that I 'd actually eat that didn 't have chocolate . I think I have a problem . I 've got a month left . It 's feeling like a sacrifice . Today I 'm going to try to make an applesauce cake and see if that helps . It has cream cheese frosting . I thought I hated that too , but apparently without chocolate in my life , cream cheese seems slightly more appealing than it once did . Any non - chocolate dessert ideas ? If my cravings don 't get better I 'm going to have to start going to meetings . The Easter candy displays in the stores are not helping things either . Spring Break is going full throttle down here . All week long the streets were jammed with rental cars put - putting down A1A . You can always tell the tourists because they go real slow down the beach as if they 've never seen sand nor sea . You can see them trying to take pictures of the beach with their cell phones as they drive . For locals , it 's absolutely maddening if you need to get somewhere because , you know , you actually live here and aren 't on vacation and you have an appointment . Forget trying to get into your favorite restaurants this time of year . Out of towners create two hour plus waits , so we have to cook at home until Easter 's over . It 's kind of a requirement for Florida residents to bitch about the tourists during season - as if you aren 't a true Floridian if you don 't at least huff and puff over the traffic or make disparaging remarks about how the Quebecois don 't tip well ( or at all as some servers say ) and well , everyone has to make fun of the Germans on the beach in their Speedos and knee socks . Yes , at the same time . Truly though , I think we Floridians welcome our tourists . Deep down we know that one of the trade - offs for living in a hot tourist destination is that we have to share the place with vacationers and we do so with grace . That 's why we 're particularly ashamed and angered when we hear about scammers taking advantage of our guests . Last week a story aired all over the local news about a guy who was posting ads on Craigs List listing condos and hotel rooms in South Beach for very low prices . It sounded too good to be true and of course it was because most of the addresses didn 't even exist or they were for alleyways or run down abandoned buildings . Unsuspecting visitors actually signed contracts with this scumbag and sent him their payments via Western Union . Then when they arrived they realized they 'd been duped and were stuck with no place to stay . I can 't imagine how they must have felt . Last May my parents held a big fundraiser at their house for the wounded troops at Walter Reid Hospital . My uncle runs a charity organization , which you 've read about here before and he came down from Millpond and we had a big BBQ . Local politicians showed up , everything . It was a big deal and we raised a lot of money and had a great time . Now at the same time , a real estate agent was showing the house across the street from my parents . You may remember several posts about that house too . It 's an ornate mansion , built as a spec home , which has never been lived in and the builder has still never found a buyer despite open houses every weekend . I think it 's been four years vacant now . Drawn by the tractor beam of the freak magnet in my parents foyer , RP showed up to look at the house across the street just before the fundraiser was about to begin . He told the realtor that we was a doctor who ran a chain of weight loss surgery clinics owned by his wife 's family . His wife , he said , was Colombian and had been Miss Colombia in the Miss Universe pageant a couple years back . This already raised the red flags because this guy was a pudgy , dorky Vietnamese guy who looked like the kid from " Up . " There 's no way any Sofia Vergara look - alike would be interested in him , doctor or not . He also told us he was definitely buying the house and was buying with cash . In addition , he told us he was investing a massive amount of money in a hedge fund that week and he bragged , at least forty times , that he had gone to Harvard medical school and that he had taught up at the University of Florida in Gainesville . That 's a lot of accomplishments for someone who didn 't look very old . I don 't know how old he was , but he appeared to be about thirty give or take . To really drive it home he was wearing a tee shirt from Harvard medical school . The realtor , thinking he had a high rolling , cash - buyer for the money pit , was totally smitten and brought RP over to meet the neighbors . RP ate up all the attention , promising a sizable donation to my uncle 's charity . All the guy did was brag . He never shut up . The strange thing was that a friend of mine , a local prosecutor , actually recognized the guy from her college days in Gainesville ! She said he had been a bartender at a popular hangout up there . RP left and came back to the party later that night . He changed out of his Harvard tee shirt into a BMW shirt and I 'm guessing that his fancy watch was a flea market special straight from China . All night long he schmoozed at the BBQ . He ate and drank and talked about his hot wife , mysteriously absent , his rich family , his in - law 's rich family , his cars , his penthouse and of course how we went to Harvard . Here 's the thing this fool didn 't understand . We know lots of people who are rich and well educated . We have friends who are literal billionaires and I know lots of people who 've gone to Ivy League schools . NONE OF THEM TALK ABOUT IT . That 's the rule of the truly high class . They don 't discuss their accomplishments or possessions . There 's no reason to . So when some idiot comes spouting off all kinds of hyperbole about who he is , where he went and what he 's got , it set off some alarms . In other words , we all knew he was bullshit . RP didn 't do anything criminal to us that night . He was an actor playing a role . Though he was a bad actor and no one believed him , he still got to go to a party . He ate and drank for free and probably felt like he was a somebody , but that 's not against the law . He didn 't take anything from us except our time and we never heard from him again because he couldn 't have kept up the game for very long . He wasn 't buying the house , investing in a hedge fund or making a donation , but I 'm sure saying those words - purchase , invest and donate , must have made him feel very powerful . Down here you meet a lot of people who aren 't who they say they are . This place seems to attract a lot of lost souls with identity crises or maybe the glitz and glam of South Florida causes this behavior . I wonder often what makes a person like RP do the things he does . Is he a sociopath ? Is he evil ? Is he mentally ill ? What was his life like ? Is it too hard for some very insecure and confused people to live in a place where most of the people you encounter are on vacation , having fun , going out on weeknights , staying late and napping on the beach , their biggest worry being sunburn ? Even more difficult then , for people who feel like failures , to live so close , so very close to decadent fortune , passing each day the restaurants you can 't afford , the opulent homes not built for you . You see the boats speeding down the canals with wakes like plumes and you aren 't on them , cocktail cavalierly in hand and a bikini beauty smiling coyly at your side . Each day you drive by communities fortified by gates and guards and you know that those gates were designed to keep you out . Maybe the frustration accumulates . There could be break - ups , lost jobs , missed opportunities , letters of acceptance wished for and never received to places like Harvard medical school . I wonder at what point in all that disappointment , does a man go from harmlessly playing a part and touring open houses he knows he 'll never buy or trying on a new identity just to crash a party at a waterfront mansion , to becoming a felon and hurting innocent people for personal gain . How does that happen ? What makes someone think that 's ok , or if they know it 's not ok , what makes them do it anyway ? RP is an idiot and a loser . He wasn 't even good at being a criminal . When I saw him on the news , after my initial disgust I felt almost pity for him because I realized from the encounter we had that he was desperate and self - loathing , so pathetic . But I don 't feel sorry liars and scammers . I pity the people he conned , whose money and trust he stole . Remember back when I said that if I had a million dollars I 'd be a snowbird and that I 'd summer up North in Millpond ? Well , I don 't have a million dollars just yet and I can 't afford my own summer home , but I 'm getting my ultimate wish , which is to spend the summer in Millpond and be with my family up there ! It 's official . I 'm summering up North ! Baby Lawns and I will be staying with my grandmother and Baby Lawns ' Christening is now set for June 26th , which is her eight month birthday and three days before my grandmother 's 80th . We 're even going to have a Christening party complete with fried chicken , Jell - O salads and pulled pork . I am thrilled . I am beyond thrilled . We are going to have so much fun and everyone can get to know Baby Lawns . I can hang out with my cousins and their kids and go to family functions all summer . Best of all , I can make my grandmother happy . Summer is hard for her because it 's her wedding anniversary , my grandfather 's birthday and the anniversary of his death and funeral . All of those days are extremely hard on her . She told me that when he died she had no reason to live anymore and that coming down and meeting Baby Lawns gave her her will back and made her want to be alive . Knowing how badly I 've wanted to spend summers away and hearing my grandmother say that , my husband knew we had to find a way to make my going up there work . He 's going to be working in the New York and New Jersey offices of his company . It 's about a 3 to 4 hour drive from Millpond , but it 's not that bad . He 'll work up there during the week and then come down to Millpond to be with us on the weekends . I 'm so excited ! ! ! I can go to Rehoboth whenever I want ! I can have Grotto Pizza and Thrashers fries ! I can be with the people I love who won 't be around much longer . Thank heavens . Last night I heard from a friend of mine who lives out west . She had a miscarriage several months ago and to help her grieving she decided to become a nanny and she works for a prestigious agency who has placed her as one of the nannies for a certain celebrity . She is one of the weekend nannies and gets paid almost a thousand dollars just to work Friday night through Sunday night . Can you imagine ? I think the most I ever got for babysitting was ten dollars an hour . I won 't tell you who the celebrity is or even if this person is a male or a female , but I will tell you that the children she nannies for are twin boys and are toddlers and that the situation is a terrible nightmare and that these children 's lives have been full of drama and news crews since birth . Their lives suck and as a result the kids are nightmares . Absolute terrors , she says . The problem is that their parents don 't care about them . Both mom and dad are totally absent and self absorbed and have no interest in parenting the two , lonely little boys . This isn 't surprising or a new idea . Celebrities or rich people ignoring their kids . We probably expect that . Hell , it 's the plot of Mary Poppins , but it 's just so sad to hear it firsthand from someone you know and my friend unfortunately doesn 't sail in on an umbrella and dance with chimney sweeps to save the day . All day and all night the boys cry for their mother and often she 's around , even in the house , but won 't respond . When that doesn 't work they cry for their father and who knows what he 's getting into . Pretty soon they just give up and take their anger out on their nannies until they wear themselves out and give up in despair . What a horrible life for children who my friend says have everything . They have mansions , toys beyond imagination and all their needs are met except the most basic - the love and affection of their screwed up parents . It breaks my heart . I 'm not picking on Catholics ! Cheese and rice people , I just told you I go to Mass every morning for crying out loud and I 'm observing Lent in the way that doesn 't allow you to take Sundays off . Give me a break over here . The other day when I talked about going to the Catholic church and how I was finding comfort in that , I worried that I was going to get some backlash because of the church 's stance against homosexuality ( among other things ) . I lost a follower , but who knows why that was and I was surprised I didn 't get any angry emails . Still , I feel the need to clarify . I disagree with the way most religions condemn homosexuality . All of my life I have been accepting and loving towards gay people and I have defended their rights . Recently though , I realized that I was using the wrong argument to defend them and without even meaning to , I was implying that homosexuality might still be wrong . I had a huge epiphany about this and my epiphany has helped me to become even more compassionate to gay people . I grew up around gay people because my mother and aunt were friends with lots of gay men . Until I was eleven , I didn 't realize that women could be gay too because I didn 't know any lesbians . While we had some openly gay men in Millpond , we didn 't seem to have any lesbians . I have no idea why that was . When I was eleven , my mom got a lesbian friend . Her name was CJ and she was a security guard and looked like a chunky teenage boy . When my mom explained to me that CJ was a lesbian and told me what that was it wasn 't any big deal . I was just like , ok , well women can like women too just like men can like men . How about that . It just wasn 't a major issue for me because I had always been around gay people and found them to be just like everyone else , though perhaps more fun . I attribute that to the fact that my mom and aunt were friends with very flamboyant gay men , who were indeed , far more fun than everyone else . My mother taught me that some people like people of the opposite sex and some people like people of the same sex and we didn 't get any more into it than that because as I child I didn 't care . I naturally accepted this fact and went and played with my heterosexual Barbies without pondering it any further . As I got older I made my own gay friends and I felt badly when I saw them discriminated against . How stupid and horrible , I would think and I would argue with people who hated homosexuality . I don 't really like the term homophobic , because I don 't necessarily always equate fear and hate . Some people who hate gay people or deny their rights aren 't scared of them . When I tried to argue with anti - gay people , I often used the argument that being gay is not a choice and I don 't think it is in almost every case . I say almost because I met a few women who told me that they did choose to be with other women because they had been raped or abused by men and were fearful of men . I still think their " choice " is up for debate , but I 'm just telling you what they said . I believe some people are born gay . I don 't think that being born gay is the equivalent of a birth defect or that if a child comes out gay that it means there was some accident in the womb or a gene mutation . It 's like having brown eyes . Some people are born with them , some aren 't . It 's a different way of being like all the other different ways of being . I meant well when I argued that homosexuality is not a choice . I based my argument on unspoken playground morals - you can 't be mean to people for things they can 't help . I didn 't understand that there was a flaw in my logic or what I was accidentally implying , because the truth is , you shouldn 't be mean to people for things they can help either . You just shouldn 't be mean period . The problem in defending homosexuality by saying that it isn 't a choice is that it implies that if it were a choice , then it would be ok to discriminate and denigrate the people who made that choice . It implies that if homosexuality were a choice ( which I still believe it isn 't ) then it would be a very bad choice . It wouldn 't . It doesn 't matter why people are gay . Who cares ? Choice , genetics , hormones , nature , nurture , whatever . It 's wonderful to be gay no matter the reason . In fact , we should probably not even try to look for a reason because looking for a reason again implies that it 's like a disease and we need to find the cause so we can fix it . The cause doesn 't matter . It 's not a problem . Nothing needs to be fixed except the mindsets and broken belief systems that say homosexuality is evil . Again , I used to use flawed logic in defending gay adoption . One of my arguments was that you can 't make children gay . What would it matter if you could ? I don 't think you can , but hypothetically , what if you could ? Why would this be a problem ? You could argue that then the child would be subjected to harassment and prejudice . The solution to that isn 't changing the gay child or trying to prevent the child from being gay . The solution is fixing the bullies , not the victim . I also argue that gay people can make better parents than straight people because gay people can 't take reproduction for granted the way heterosexuals can . Gay couples or individuals can never have a child by accident , therefore every gay person who has a child wants and plans for the child , which is an ideal situation . Often they go to great lengths to get their children , so it 's obvious that these children are greatly loved , valued and appreciated . I 'd much rather children be raised in stable , loving gay homes than by uneducated , impoverished teenagers . But back to the church . I won 't become a member of any religion that condemns gay people , which means that I won 't become Catholic ( there are many other Catholic ideologies I disagree with besides this one ) . I am using the location and ritual of the church as a place for me to contemplate and pray . I am embracing the values that speak to me and rejecting the ones that don 't . This one , I reject . We 're going away for the weekend for a family trip on the RV , which is as close to camping as we will ever get . This afternoon we 'll be crossing the state headed for Florida 's west coast where we 'll site see in Naples , maybe do a little shopping , definitely do some good eating and take in a Spring Training game . My husband has a cousin who is visiting Ft . Myers right now and we 're excited for Baby Lawns to meet her and her husband . Should be a really fun , much needed weekend away and I 'm really looking forward to it , although I 'm a little nervous having never traveled with the baby before . I 'm sure she 'll love it . Baby Lawns is a total people person . Old people especially . I can 't figure this out but whenever an old person talks to Baby Lawns she goes crazy laughing . She doesn 't so much do that with younger folk , though she smiles at everyone including animals , and I can 't figure out what she thinks is so hilarious about seniors . Is it the grey hair or what ? Silly child . Thank God I got a baby with a big sense of humor . I 'm feeling like a new person this week . Baby has been sleeping at night for the first time in a long time . She unexpectedly popped out two teeth two weeks ago and I 'm thinking maybe that was what was causing her sleeplessness . I didn 't think she 'd grow teeth so young ( 4 months ) so I wasn 't attributing her fussiness to teething and I was confused about what was upsetting her . I should have known because I had teeth at 2 1 / 2 months , which is like some kind of record . I also got my hair cut and colored and I got a new purse . My family staged a purse intervention with me . My old purse was pretty ragged , as was my ten year old wallet . I could have been on Hoarders : Purse Edition . That damned thing was like a trashcan with straps . I 'm so neat and organized usually , but for some reason my OCD doesn 't extend to handbags and I 'm a purse slob . I admit it . I carry around so many old receipts , tissues , candies , used up gift cards , purells and all amounts of debris that my purse looks like the shopping cart of a crazy person . But no more . I 'm going to try to change my purse hoarding ways and start fresh . A few years ago my cousin got me the most beautiful lavender , suede wallet from Ann Taylor and I never used it . I don 't know why . I guess I thought my old , faded torn wallet was fine . Same with my purse . I bought it three years ago at Marshalls and used it pretty much every day . It was light colored so it got grey on the bottom , scuffed all over and the threads unraveled so there were strings hanging off it like cobwebs . I mean , it cost all of $ 12 . 99 , so we 're not talking about a well made piece of merchandise that 's expected to last several years . It was time to go . My parents brought me back a beautiful , pale olive , real leather purse from their last trip . It 's totally glamorous this new purse , but did I use it ? Nope . I kept it next to the front door so I could look at it and kept using Stringy , as I 've been calling old Marshall 's purse . Once I had to do a writing exercise where you listed the items in a fictional character 's purse in order to describe this person through her belongings . It occurred to me that if someone were to list my belongings in an attempt to garner an impression of me , that the impression of me would be that I am a nut job . It was time to get rid of both Stringy and my old wallet . I thought the weekend trip might be a good time to bust out the new purse and new wallet and clear the clutter I 've been unnecessarily lugging around with me , because I just swore that I was going to need that three year old Andes mint that came with the check at the Olive Garden four trips to Millpond ago . I made a rule that I could only bring what was absolutely necessary and no other junk was coming along and in all , I realized I really didn 't need very much stuff . License , credit cards , chapstick , phone , insurance card , cash , Kleenex , bandaids , gum , pony tail holder , Swiss Army knife and sunglasses . Nothing else . Anyway , let 's see how I do . Hopefully I can resist collecting a bunch of crap while I 'm out of town . I have to finish packing and wow , babies need a lot of gear to go somewhere overnight . It 's a bit overwhelming . I keep feeling like I 'm forgetting something important and it 's making me a little panicky . Wish me luck with that . Nostalgia is like a dormant virus in my body . Every so often , as with cold sores , I tend to have outbreaks of it and I 'm in the middle of one now . For the past couple weeks I 've been reminiscing about the 90s , unable to believe that I graduated high school twenty years ago . I lived the majority of that decade in Atlanta and I consider those years some of the best of my life , so much so that I fear I may never get over leaving that city and my life there . It 's been eleven years since I moved to Florida and each year I keep thinking that this has to be the year I finally stop missing it , but it hasn 't happened yet . I loved the 90s and I miss a lot of things from that era . Sally Jessy Raphael ( and how EVERYONE had a talk show ) , grunge fashion , overalls , OJ Simpson , biker shorts , my insecurity , my ex after he went nuts , rayon skirts , Melrose Place , Jerry Springer , sponge painting , Zima , bandleader jackets , Billy Bob and Angelina , the Monica Lewinsky scandal , JonBenet , Geraldo , life before DVR , Newt Gingrich , the first Gulf War , The Crow , Rabin 's assassination , Oklahoma City , TWA 800 , JFK Junior 's death , Princess Diana 's death , Buddy Lists , being called a Gen Xer , Buddy Holly glasses , Baywatch , fades and surfer cuts , Spice World , the Macarena , the last few seasons of Roseanne , Right Said Fred , living on ramen noodles , not appreciating my youthful figure , Dances With Wolves and pretty much all Kevin Costner films , bowling shirts , worrying constantly about romantic relationships . Did I forget anything ? 8
|
So many people have emailed me and sent me messages encouraging me to please write about my Postpartum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder , that I 've decided to share my experience . I don 't know what I can say , and I 've mulled it over a lot trying to come up with an angle or a thesis on the topic and I 've decided to just write and let the words come in hopes that something I say can help someone who is going through the same thing or someone whose loved one is suffering from it . At least maybe I can help someone out there feel like they 're not alone . OCD isn 't something new for me . I 've had it since I was a little girl , only I had no idea that 's what it was . Bad habits . She just has bad habits , everyone would say . First I found that I could make a sort of snuffing noise in the back of my nose and that if I did it over and over , the action satisfied something in me . It was like scratching an itch , but not a physical itch . It was more of an unsettled feeling I 'd get and if I snuffed my nose that unsettled feeling would go away for a little while . It never stayed gone for long though , and I 'd have to snuff and snuff , which drove everyone around me crazy . My parents and grandparents went to great lengths to get me to stop snuffing . My grandmother took me to an ear nose and throat specialist thinking there was something physical causing me to do it . There was talk of getting my tonsils and adenoids taken out as if that might stop the snuffing . I was tested for allergies but no one ever found anything wrong . Finally , the doctors said I had a bad habit . That was enough to get me punished . They grounded me for snuffing , took away privileges and things I liked , even threatened to spank me and finally , although I was wracked with anxiety by this point , I stopped snuffing and the only reason I did was because I found that I could twitch my nose to relieve the unsettled feeling . I became a rabbit . Twitch , twitch , twitch . My teachers complained about my constant nose twitching and pretty soon my family noticed that this was my latest bad habit and the punishments started again and again I replaced the nose twitching with a new habit until my childhood became a sequence of habits , replacing one for the next as each one was discovered . When I was ten I became seized by the terrifying thought that I was going to choke to death . The thought began from something I saw on TV and then one morning at breakfast I choked on a gnarl of chewy bacon and had to reach down my throat to pull it out . After that , I became obsessed with the fear of choking . I could think of little else . I began to dread mealtimes . I would chew and chew my food but no matter how much I chewed , it wasn 't good enough . It felt like my teeth weren 't working . They weren 't chewing good enough and I was going to choke to death , so I 'd end up holding the food in my mouth and trying to spit it into a napkin when no one was looking . Of course , my family caught on pretty quickly . I was living with my strict father and stepmother at the time and visiting my mother every other weekend . My father tried punishing me and my mother , on her weekends , tried to cajole me and convince me to please just eat and swallow my food . Every meal , no matter which parent I was with , became a struggle of threats or begging , but I held out in spite of some very harsh punishments ( physical beatings every night from my father and stepmother ) because my fear of choking was so great that I would rather be hit than face what I believed was certain death . I didn 't fear choking anymore . Instead , it became dissecting animals in Life Science class , changing in gym class and a whole array of other phobias which grew with such intensity in my pre - teen mind that I could think of nothing else besides whichever fear happened to be eating away at me at the time . I was so petrified of having my period that I believe I actually willed it not to come until I was nearly fourteen and then that began a new round of severe anxieties all based on bleeding or of people finding out that I had my period . I didn 't even tell my mother I had gotten it . I 'm what people call high strung . I 'm wound tight . You 'll notice me fidgeting almost immediately upon meeting me . My mannerisms might remind you of a squirrel in your yard , jerking nervously , looking around , constantly aware of its surroundings and assessing each and every situation for potential danger . I see myself that way , like a small animal and in my mind there is always a cat about to strike , only the way I experience it , there is not the possibility of the cat . There is no maybe the cat 's not out today , or maybe the cat isn 't interested in killing and eating me this afternoon . No . The cat is always there and it will always pounce , so I must always protect myself . I am ever vigilant . In 1999 I went to a therapist who referred me to a psychiatrist and together they diagnosed me with OCD . By that point , living in Atlanta in a deteriorating and abusive relationship , I had begun checking things . My fear of food poisoning and stomach viruses had become debilitating . I was wasting large amounts of money throwing out food that was perfectly good because I was afraid it might be spoiled and I had begun to clean and wash my hands in order to kill viruses and bacteria that I believed were going to make me sick . My fear was so great that I arranged my life around it . There were only certain places I would go or eat and I would panic about having to eat food at other people 's houses because you just don 't know about how long other people keep food and you can 't be sure about their sanitation . I had seen OCD on TV and those people were crazy . They had elaborate rituals that seemed more arbitrary than the little things I did . I wasn 't counting ceiling tiles , lining up my belongings or refusing to step on sidewalk cracks on alternating weekdays . Media portrayals of OCD are always the most dramatic and severe cases , usually the quirkiest too because that makes for the most sordid viewing , but OCD has many other manifestations . It 's different for every person who has it . Some people tend to be heavier on the O - the obsession , which is the terrifying thoughts and in others , the compulsions are more obvious . Those are the cases you see where people check their door locks or devise elaborate rituals that can often seem comic in their absurdity . I don 't do things like that so much . Instead , I get more caught up in the obsession part of OCD , though I am not wholly immune to compulsion either . My thoughts are often crippling when I 'm in the throes of the disorder , which in me , can wax and wane situationally . Obsessive thought paralyzes me . You 'd call me a worry wort , say I was neurotic and ask me why I was so anxious . Stop worrying all the time , you 'd probably tell me , meaning well of course . Often I can play it down on the outside so that to outsiders I just look a little uneasy , while inside my mind is an F5 tornado of fear and panic about whatever idea has taken hold . Other times I can 't control it , as much as I try and the thoughts become too great for me to contain and I have an all out meltdown , panic attack . These incidents make the people around me mad because to them it looks like I am freaking out over nothing and causing a scene for no reason . Maybe the reality is that there is no reason . Usually whatever I am fearing doesn 't ever happen , but my mind can 't perceive an obsessive thought as an unlikely possibility . My brain isn 't satisfied with " might not " and instead it just hears " will happen " and " is happening . " Probability and statistics are wasted on me . If I hear that there is a 95 % chance that I won 't get attacked by a shark if I go into the ocean , all I can think about is the 5 % chance that I will , except the more I think about it , the more I leave out the word chance and I forget that 5 % until I quickly convince myself that I am absolutely going to get attacked by a shark if I go in the ocean and it becomes so real to me that I see nothing but sharp , bloody teeth and the sea red with me as if it has already happened . I 'll also think in chains of binding " what ifs . " I 'm almost proud of my ability to take any situation , no matter how innocuous , and through a series of what ifs , drag it out to its inevitable conclusion , which is always me dead and alone somewhere . Let me show you an example . Here 's a simple one . What if I decided to go to Jamaica on vacation ? Well the plane will probably crash . What if the plane doesn 't crash ? What if when I get there I get malaria or a parasite ? What if someone plants drugs on me and what if I get arrested and thrown in a Jamaican prison ? What if I don 't get medical treatment for the malaria or parasite in the Jamaican prison ? What if I die in a Jamaican prison ? Oh my God , I am dead in a Jamaican prison for something I didn 't do . Screw that dream vacation in paradise . I 'm staying here where it 's safe . Go ahead . You have my permission to laugh . I know it sounds ridiculous . It is ridiculous . I had it fairly controlled for a long time . I was aware and understood finally that I had OCD . For a couple years I took medication , which worked beautifully because on the meds , I just kind of forgot to obsess and since I wasn 't wigging myself out obsessing over imagined fears and possible disasters , I didn 't need any weird habits to calm me down . I went off the Zoloft and some of the anxiety returned , but I knew what it was . I admit that I may have been a little rigid and ordered about the way I did things , but I was trying to stay in control in order to avoid situations that would flare my terror . I knew when I was being a little compulsive and I knew when I was getting scared and most of the time I could talk myself down from the proverbial ledge . I think I was managing my OCD quite well . Sometimes I didn 't even show symptoms for so long I forgot I had it . Babies change everything . Having a baby is one of the most stressful life events that there is , especially for a woman who must bear both the physical strains of pregnancy , childbirth and often nursing , as well as the psychological pressure associated with caring for an infant . It 's really , really hard . Women who have never once showed signs of OCD can suddenly find themselves overwhelmed with the disorder after having a baby . Our society puts so much pressure on mothers and for new mothers the stress of this pressure is often unbearable . Everywhere you look there 's some new study about something that 's going to harm your baby . There are recalls , you hear horrific tales of accidents unavoided on the news . Family members and even total strangers weigh in with their advice on how you should be raising and caring for your child . Someone always seems to know someone to whom something dreadful happened and if only they 'd known x , then y would never have happened and all would be well . Mothers with OCD can 't tune out these messages very well . Mothers have an instinct to protect their babies , but in mothers with OCD it 's like the natural need to nurture and keep safe blows up like an H bomb . The need is all consuming . There is nothing else except keeping that baby safe . I became obsessed with SIDS . I added obsessions about toxins , pesticides , bacterial infections , pertussis , influenza and piled on fears of other people dropping the baby , head injuries , shaken baby syndrome . I felt sick when other people held her because I wasn 't in control and they might not know how to hold her and she could hit her head on something , or fall . What if they had a virus ? What if they didn 't realize and played too rough with her and she got brain injuries ? Why are the neighbor 's spraying their yard for bugs ? What if that causes her to be autistic ? What if she chokes ? What if the formula is contaminated ? What if the crib collapses ? It is so frightening when you 're tangled up in it . Often the littlest thing I read or hear about can plant a seed in my brain and the seed with germinate and the thought will take off like kudzu , constricting around me , tying me down in its knotty vines until I can 't move and pretty soon the thoughts overtake me until I don 't feel like I even exist anymore . Maybe you 've seen the way kudzu can swallow a car or a building . The obsessive thoughts , the images of my sweet baby 's head smashed on a tile floor , they swallow me the same way . I hate the way my brain torments me . It feels like I have two minds - the one torturing and the one tortured . I can see where it might even feel as if you 're being haunted by an entity outside of yourself because when these horrible images and thoughts pop into your head , it can feel like they aren 't coming from you and you wonder then , where are they coming from ? Why won 't they go away ? Why can 't I put my baby down for a nap without seeing her blue and suffocated and feeling like I need to start planning her funeral ? Why can 't I just make it stop ? That 's where the guilt comes in . Why can 't I make it stop ? Am I weak ? Have I gone crazy ? And worse yet , worst of all , how is this affecting my baby . What a tragic irony . You fear harm coming to your baby and somehow your fear of harm becomes the very thing that might be the most harmful to her . Surely she must feel your tension and then , is she just as scared as you are ? That 's what everyone will tell you when you have Postpartum OCD . You had better cut it out or you 'll make your baby crazy . The baby feels everything you feel , they say . She 'll pick up on your fear . You don 't want to make your baby scared , do you ? These are hard words to hear when an illness you can 't control is clawing at your psyche . You may think you 're only trying to get someone to see logic and begin to behave rationally , but telling a woman with any postpartum disturbance ( depression , anxiety , OCD etc . ) that she is going to hurt her baby if she doesn 't stop acting this way isn 't helpful . It 's harmful because it piles up even more anxiety , shame and guilt . In my case the guilt is the worst , but having someone tell me I should just stop behaving the way I am also makes me mad . Adding anger to an already frothing stew of anxiety and guilt will only make the pot boil over . I guess what people don 't understand about my OCD is that I already see the logic that it seems I don 't . I already know I 'm being absurd . There 's this strange detachment that comes along with it for me . I can see myself getting more and more out of control . I can tell myself it 's just the disorder . I know I have it , yet sometimes I am powerless to stop it . Someone 'll want to hold the baby . I 'll start seeing images of the baby gasping in the ICU with pertussis . I 'll try to talk myself out of it . It 's ok . The baby 's going to be fine . But the images won 't go away , or I 'll be bombarded with more and more images of the baby coming to harm and these are detailed images worse than anything you 've seen in a horror movie . I 'll know it 's just the OCD and then I 'll start to heap guilt on myself . Stop feeling this way . You 're being crazy . You 're a mess . It doesn 't always work and then I 'll have a panic attack . No one wants to be this way . I don 't choose it . I don 't get pleasure from worrying and being afraid . Don 't you think if I could stop that I would ? I don 't get anything out of being this way except pain and psychological imprisonment . When the baby was born my OCD grew intolerable . It was as though I put on a pair of glasses . Imagine that those glasses were the wrong prescription . In fact , they were the glasses of someone who is practically blind , so the lenses are thick as bottle bottoms . When I look through them the world I see is distorted , ugly , scary , confusing . I can 't make sense of what I see with these glasses stuck on my head and I can 't get them off , so I 'm only viewing the world through a messed up lens and staggering around , knowing I 'm wearing the wrong glasses , but desperately trying to walk upright , to function normally and to find my way around in spite of them . I can 't see clearly yet . I wish I were writing this having healed , but I 'm not . I want to heal and I 'm working on it . I sought help and getting better isn 't easy . It 's hard when other people don 't understand and when they can 't feel how you feel or see things the way you do . It 's especially hard to ignore the criticism and judgment from people who think they 're only trying to help you . What I hope for myself is that soon I can pull the glasses off and play outside with my beautiful baby and see a world that welcomes both of us . A world of peace and calm , where the vines will flower and everything feels safe again . If you are struggling with any Postpartum condition or have a loved on who is , I find this site , Postpartum Progress , very helpful . It has lists of resources where you can get help and every day there are articles and stories by women who have gone through similar experiences . 23 I can 't take the Bible literally and a lot of the problem I have with religion is fundamentalism - an unyielding devotion to a literal , word for word interpretation of the Bible ( or any work as the Tea Partiers are now doing it with the US Constitution ) . Having studied language , I realized that words can never capture the full truth of anything . There will always be something missing , or not said exactly right , or something ambiguous and asking for interpretation and of course everyone interprets through their own experiences , so there can never be unanimous agreement on what something means . It 's just not possible . Plus , the meanings of words change constantly and don 't even get me started on translation after translation over thousands of years . When you view the Bible so closemindedly you really limit your ability to know God . Thinking about it even deeper , I realized that fundamentalists , in their unrelenting need to hold on to every word , lack faith . Let 's take Creationists . Ridiculous . I remember watching that episode of the Duggars where they go to the Creationist Museum in Kentucky and look at dioramas of people playing on dinosaurs . These people will twist and contort facts and just plain make stuff up to make it fit their world view because the Bible says God created the heavens and the earth . They reject hard and true scientific evidence and refuse to send their kids to school because they might learn about Evolution and for what ? It doesn 't matter . I have never understood why Creationism and Evolution had to be mutually exclusive beliefs and they don 't unless you are a person of little faith . The Bible says God created the Earth and the seas and the skies , plants , fish and animals and people . Ok , but it doesn 't say HOW . It just says that He did and that 's enough for me . I don 't need it all to have taken place in the span of seven days as we now know seven days . Who cares ? Why couldn 't God have created things through Evolution ? There is no conflict here at all . God made it all and the Universe is so complicated that we will probably never know exactly how it all was done or how it all works . Our minds can 't even comprehend the magnitude and majesty of it all and just because there were dinosaurs and the earth is billions of years old and people came from monkeys doesn 't mean that there is no God or that the Bible has to be null and void . Who are we to say that God had to do things in a way we could understand ? The Bible is filled with fantastic stories of miracles . Angels appear , bushes burn , snakes talk and pillars of salt . The Red Sea parts , water to wine and suddenly there 's enough fish and bread to feed a multitude . Stars lead the way to virgin births , heavenly hosts rejoice , lepers heal and finally the dead are raised and ascend to Heaven in human bodies . It 's probably all a bunch of nonsense . It 's fairy tales . I 'd be willing to bet that none of it happened , or if it did , it wasn 't quite as we 've been told . Back in the day when the Bible was being written , the Jews were up against some stiff competition from all the surrounding pagan religions . First the Egyptians , then the Romans and there were many other little cults and sects in between . The pagan religions were more interesting and more fun . They had better stories to draw people in and they were more entertaining and possibly even scarier and we know nothing motivates people to believe something better than fear . Because the Jews and next the early Christians needed to preserve their religion and keep followers , it 's reasonable to think that they had to match the competition a little with their own fantastical stories , otherwise the primitive thinking people of the time would migrate towards more magical religions . I mean think about it - you 've got the Egyptians with their elaborate tales of the afterlife and mighty Gods and Goddesses with the heads of animals . The jews , well , they couldn 't eat pork and shellfish . Who wouldn 't want a golden cow ? Then you 've got the Romans with multiple deities with intricate and highly entertaining mythologies . What did the early Christians have ? A scrappy rogue Rabbi . But how cool would it be if the scrappy rogue Rabbi was the product of a virgin birth and healed people and brought old men back from the dead . What if , what if . . . he walked on water ? That might give him some more clout . Hey Romans , you 've got your Neptune and Jupiter ? Well , our dude can turn water into wine . Take that gladiators . And poor Mary - doomed to be a virgin her whole life and a married virgin no less . Poor Joseph , right ? Well guess what ? I don 't need Mary to have stayed a virgin forever and I don 't even need her to have been a virgin when she got pregnant . I still have the same reverence and respect for her . If she were just a poor teenager who got pregnant with Jesus before she was married I have no problem with that whatsoever and perhaps if we could let go of the myths and tales of magic then we would be able to show a greater compassion to people in her situation now . The fairy tale aspect of religion does nothing but hold us back in our spiritual development . Thousands of years ago , when human beings were trapped in darkness and ignorance they needed magical tales in order to believe in something greater and to give them hope and reassurance , but times have changed people . Our knowledge has advanced and so should our faith . If Moses or Jesus never once performed a miracle would that negate their teachings ? Aren 't their teachings about how to love and how to live and treat one another far more important than plagues or resurrections ? Would the Ten Commandments be any less wise without the parting of the Red Sea or the Beatitudes less stirring or lesser truths if Jesus didn 't do the whole loaves and fishes routine ? Of course not , and can 't you see the obvious metaphor in that story anyway ? Could you not believe without these so called miracles ? We don 't need myths . We don 't need to reject science or grasp at ancient words to gather faith . We don 't need fantastic signs to believe . It 's all right here in front of us . God is everywhere . Everything is a miracle - sea turtles laying eggs by moonlight , the making of babies , plumeria , papaya , ring tailed leaping lemurs , your grandmother , the subway , a fire , pickles and grilled cheese sandwiches , hula dancers , books and words , Christmas , Hindu temples and even the asphalt on the roads . Everything . Look around you and celebrate . I thought about this and I decided that I really wanted to share with you a book that I am in ! Were it not for this blog and for you readers , I wouldn 't have written this story and it wouldn 't be published in this wonderful anthology , so I thank you . You don 't even know how much I thank you . I am so proud to have been included in Press Pause Moments . Anne Witkavitch edited an interesting and diverse group of essays by women about making changes in their lives and I enjoyed reading the other stories in the collection . I think you will too . Here 's the product description from Amazon , which I think describes it better than I can ( my story is the one about getting a degree ! ! ) : " Life is about change . . . As human beings we 're always changing , growing , transforming and transitioning our lives . . . but whether it is our circumstances that lead us to take a new path or a desire to pursue a goal or dream , as women we learn that we have the power to choose who we want to be , what we want to do , and what kind of life we want to lead . These words introduce Press Pause Moments : Essays about Life Transitions by Women Writers , a collection of beautifully crafted tales by 36 women writers reflecting upon change , adversity and celebration . The essays covering a diverse range of topics such as marriage , divorce , widowhood , parenthood , infertility , sexuality , surviving abuse , facing a medical crisis , moving a home , changing careers , and obtaining a degree are written by women who have celebrated , mourned , taken control and transformed through the transitions of their lives . As women we look at life transitions in many ways , sometimes one layered upon the other . However , when we press pause , as will happen when reading these stories , inner voices become quiet long enough to pay attention to what is going on within us and around us . We learn that true press pause moments are those points in time when we fully realize the need to make change happen , and become greater than our existing selves . " 3 I 'm so happy I 've been able to get back into reading , you don 't even know . Thank God for the Kindle because it allows me to buy books without having to leave the house and the instant gratification is perfect for an impatient person like me . It 's like I can finish a book and in five minutes start another one . The last time I asked for recommendations someone told me about Rhoda Janzen 's Mennonite in a Little Black Dress and I can not thank this person enough . This book was exactly what I needed , exactly when I needed it and also I love Mennonites . There are lots of Mennonites in Millpond . I used to admire their little mesh caps and wish I could have one . A Mennonite family lived across the street from us and I used to play with their daughter although she was no fun at all because she was a goody goody and I much preferred the white trash girl who lived across the street because she would make the Barbies have sex . But this book was perfect . I liked the tone and I honestly haven 't laughed so much at a book since I first found David Sedaris . I think I mentioned that before . Anyway , it 's the true story of a woman who was raised Mennonite , chose a worldly life and married a mentally ill man who left her for another man right when she was enduring some pretty serious health problems . In order to heal her body and spirit , she goes back home and makes peace with herself and her upbringing and it 's freaking hilarious . I love Janzen 's descriptions of Mennonite life and she writes with such a lighthearted matter - of - factness about the most painful parts of her life . I also loved her approach to writing about spirituality with comedy and sincerity . It was just beautiful . I haven 't loved a book so much in a long time . I was so sad when I finished that I instantly needed something else just like it . I decided to go with the Kindle 's recommendations for me . It has this " If you liked x , then you 'll like y " feature . I thought I 'd take its word for it and see . The Kindle told me I 'd love a book with a most unwieldy title - The New York Regional Mormon Single 's Halloween Dance by Elna Baker . Oh my God people . Loved it . The Kindle knows me . Elna Baker is a Mormon in her 20s , but the craziest thing is that she 's hip and cool , like someone I know I 'd immediately want to be best friends with . Reading this book , I felt like I knew her and she was so damned funny ! Imagine that , a funny Mormon ! And she 's not just funny , she 's endearing , reasonable , tolerant , sweet and so absolutely likable . Baker 's memoir follows her as she leaves her large , traditional Mormon family and moves to New York City for college . There she is tempted and tried . She gets a job , she loses a huge amount of weight and for the first time in her life becomes pretty and seeks the attention of men . Baker tries to date , learns to kiss and falls in love with an atheist and all of it is so delightful to read . You just root for her the whole time . I also liked that Baker doesn 't apologize for her religious beliefs , which she sticks to ( she 's a virgin ! ) and she explains her convictions so eloquently that a religion that had once seemed so ridiculous to me , kind of started to sound a little more sensible , though I still wonder why no one ever called Joseph Smith out on losing the golden plates , but whatever . I can 't tell you how much I loved this adorably quirky book . You must read it . You really must . She even travels , visiting Cyprus and Africa . Here 's Baker 's web site and blog . I wish she blogged more often because I can 't get enough of her writing . I was pleasantly surprised to see she got her start on The Moth , which is one of my favorite radio shows / podcasts . I have a big dream to tell one of my stories on The Moth one day . The next book I read is Jessie Scholl 's memoir of hoarding , Dirty Secret . I want to devote a whole post to this one because it was fascinating and really made me think about my own life and habits a lot . The book is sad and hard at times , but I was riveted and I definitely recommend it . I 'll write about it in more depth soon . Right now I 'm reading a very disturbing memoir called Tiger , Tiger : A Memoir by Margaux Fragoso . It 's about a victim of child sexual abuse and I may not continue with it because it 's too graphic and emotionally hard for me to read . I don 't know . We 'll see and I 'll write about it further when I think about it some more . Yesterday in my updates I forgot to mention # 16 . Yes , my parents have hired their sixteenth housekeeper / cleaning lady / nanny person after Kimmy , who was # 15 , disappeared under mysterious circumstances . # 16 is working out quite nicely so far . She 's much older than Kimmy , which is good , because I think some of Kimmy 's nonsense can be attributed to the follies of her youth . # 16 is Hungarian and only speaks a little English . She 's organized and responsible and works hard , but then again they all seem that way for the first few weeks . My mom likes this one a lot though , so let 's hope she works out well because the last thing my mother needs is more stress and aggravation , what with having her identity stolen and all that . I realized though , that # 16 is actually # 17 . When I did my grand count of housekeepers we 'd had over my lifetime - Jill , Susan , Tammy , Nadia , Vicki , Maxine , Catherine , Wanda , Nury , Aunt Kevin , Cecelia , Idalia , Soccorro , Miriam and Kimmy - that somehow I 'd forgotten Ella , and Ella was one of my very favorites , fitting in between Susan and Tammy . Ella was # 3 . I can 't exactly define Ella as formal hired help . I don 't know what she was - a babysitter , a companion for my mother , entertainment , cake baker and fun . She was a lot of things to us . She was also , I suspect , impossibly young , terribly uneducated , deeply impoverished and without a great deal of choices . Ella was a six foot black girl from the public housing sector behind the street where my mother and grandfather lived in Dover , Delaware . I was in the fifth grade at the time and still lived with my father and stepmother in the old farmhouse out in the country . My mother and grandfather lived on a street in a rough part of town , my mother living in a row house on one side of the street and my grandfather inhabiting a duplex on the same street but on the opposite side and down a little ways . My grandfather 's young wife had just up and left him and he was stuck with a baby . My mother was desperately trying to get custody of me and start a cosmetics business , but found herself caring for my grandfather 's toddler daughter because he had to work driving trucks and wasn 't home all the time . It was a hard time in all of our lives and not a period we look back at with a lot of fondness . In fact , Ella is probably the one positive thing in our lives from that time . Lord knows where my grandfather found Ella . She lived nearby , so he could very well have found her at the bus stop or walking down the street . Maybe he sold her produce . My grandfather was like that - always bringing people home , befriending everyone in the strangest of places . He hired Ella to babysit , though I doubt she was ever formally salaried . I don 't know if anyone paid her and she obviously didn 't care . Ella must not have had a family because she latched right on to ours and didn 't leave for at least a year . Not that we cared because she was so good natured . Ella was one of those people who brings Christmas in the middle of the muddiest , grayest March day . She was like getting flowers when it wasn 't even a special occasion . We all liked Ella because she was always happy and I 'm guessing she probably didn 't have all that much reason to be by our standards . Not that she cared about standards . Ella just liked to dance . She loved " Roxanne Roxanne " and that song about playing basketball ( remember that song ? ) but she 'd dance to whatever we put on , even my grandfather 's country . She didn 't care . Most people would have called Ella promiscuous or said she had a problem because her other favorite thing to do was have sex , which she talked about constantly . Supposedly she had a boyfriend but he was like her Stedman . She talked about him all the time , but no one ever saw him . She didn 't act particularly committed to him either , because she liked to get out at nights and pick up some " strange " as she called it . I shouldn 't remember this about her because I was only ten at the time , but I wasn 't particularly sheltered I suppose . I don 't remember being shocked by any of her raunchy stories either . I think I liked them . In some school program for low income teens in the projects , Ella had been taught the unusual trade of cake decorating . She said as soon as they put the pastry bag in her hand she knew she was born to make icing roses and that there was no other life for her . All she wanted to do was fill the world with swoops and stars , garlands and best wishes of rainbow butter - cream , and looking at her that would definitely be the last thing you 'd think she was born to do . Ella had a real talent for cake decorating though and she loved making me elaborate cakes as much as I loved eating them . What I most loved about Ella 's cakes was that they didn 't follow the rules . While they were decorated as pristinely as cakes in the bakery , they were wildly colored with whatever creative combination Ella thought might be cool . Fat neon shoelaces were in style at the time and I swear Ella got some of her cake color combos from the strings of breakdancing shoes . I have a picture somewhere ( I have no idea or I would scan it for you ) of a cake she made that was this hideous coral with big , bright purple roses all over it , and way too many roses to ever be tasteful . Ella understood that for children you just can 't have too many roses on a cake . For that alone , she was amazing . Once I asked her if it was possible to make a cake with black icing . I wanted to know because I 'd never seen such a thing and it was exotic and seemed somehow forbidden to me . They didn 't sell black food coloring in the Acme store you know . I didn 't know it existed . I had a similar fascination with the elusive grape Jell - o but that 's another story . Do you know that Ella went to the cake decorating specialty shop , found some black food coloring paste and made me a black cake ? Our tongues were dark as chow - chows after eating it . It looked like pens had exploded in our mouths and we probably had black poop all weekend , but dammit , we had a black cake . A black cake . And we ate it in the penthouse of a drug dealer in a high rise building in Ocean City , Maryland . The drug dealer was my mom 's friend and he let us stay in his place the winter I was ten because he wasn 't using it and my mom wanted to get away from the row houses for a while . Ella came with . That 's where we met CJ the first lesbian I ever knew . She and Ella became good friends . I just can 't remember what happened . I don 't know where Ella went . Like so many people who 've passed through our lives , it 's like one day she was gone . I wonder what happened to her . I wonder what she 's doing right now . Does she have kids or grandkids ? Is she working the bakery at the Superfresh at this moment , piping " Happy Birthday " on a white cake with just a couple pink roses daintily clustered in one corner ? " my favorite posts are the ones about the crazy people you worked with and have encountered in the past . In my opinion , you 're the best there is when it comes to documenting insanity . Your challenge now is to figure out how to come up with new material now that your life , and the people in it , are sane and normal . " God bless you Lara . I can only wish that the people in my life were sane and normal . Shoot , I wish I knew one person who was normal . Actually I do . My friend Emma is sane and normal . Everyone else is just as batshit as ever . I swear . Including me . Also , someone else commented that they miss my stories from my old work such as the story where the woman bleached her teeth so much that they were clear . That woman I just wrote about last year ! ! She 's my parents ' friend 's girlfriend ! ! So see , plenty of crazy to go around still . Don 't worry . I should tell you guys about some of the characters in my new neighborhood soon . We have this one lady that everyone calls " The Stalker . " Now go see Lara and give her some love . She 's got these amazing posts with no comments and that 's just a travesty . I love her most recent one about her husband cooking . It 's really inspiring , especially to me right now , and it 's well written . Me - Someone commented the other day that my blog is whiny and a downer . Well , I don 't know what to say . Maybe it is . Aren 't most blogs that way ? I admit . I haven 't been very happy lately , so there . I 'm not happy , but I 'm working on being happy and my husband and I are " talking to someone " and I don 't want to discuss that anymore . Maybe I 'll be happier soon and my writing will be too . Otherwise I 'm healthy and fine . I 've just had a lot going on lately and most of it I haven 't been able to write about publicly , so you 'll just have to trust me that I 've been going through some major stuff . On the other hand , my life isn 't that bad . I love my house and my new neighborhood . I take long walks with the baby every day and watch the sunsets over the water . It 's not an unpleasant life and I am dealing with my issues , one of which is something icky called Postpartum OCD . Generally I 'm reluctant to write about things like that , which is why I 've never written in depth about my illness or what it was like to have radiation or anything like that . I don 't want to be defined by that stuff and I don 't particularly want to become the Internet poster child for Obsessive Compulsives or rare and annoying thyroid diseases . But you know , maybe I 'll let you all in a little more and write about it . Maybe it would help . I don 't know . My Sister - She 's doing great . I think she 's a much better mother than I am . She seems to enjoy it more and be significantly less neurotic about baby related things than I am . Her baby girl is doing fine now after a rocky start in the NICU . Mommy and baby are healthy and thriving and I 'm very jealous that little cousin has no problems consistently sleeping eleven hours in a row , whereas Baby Lawns can barely sleep two hours at a time and has never slept through the night . In preparation for being neighbors , we 've decided to combine yards for the benefit of the girls when they get bigger . We had both yards leveled and we 're going to start over with landscaping . We want to get one big fence , start a vegetable garden and plant several fruit trees to share . We think it 's important for the kids to be able to take part in gardening and know where their veggies and fruit come from and we want them to have that connection to nature . Plus , it 's just fun to be able to pick fruit out of your own yard . All kids should have that when possible . My Parents - Oh you know them . They 're fine . My dad is off to Israel today to visit his little sister who had a baby just a week before Baby Lawns was born . Because of the birth of his two grandchildren he wasn 't able to get over there to visit his relatives and see his new niece , so he 's going now since they won 't be coming here for Passover this year as they normally do . The movie is in the final stages of editing . We saw a director 's cut last week and it 's really a sweet , funny movie . It 's called " Should 've Been Romeo " and I hope when it comes out you 'll all go see it . I don 't know if they have a distributor yet or when it will be released , but when I find out , I 'll let you know . My parents haven 't been traveling on the RV as much because of the babies , so they haven 't had as many exciting adventures as usual . They just love being grandparents and I 've really enjoyed seeing them in that role . My mom had her identity stolen by someone in Texas and they really had a field day with her social security number , even going so far as to file tax returns in her name ! It 's a mess , but she doesn 't seem too stressed out about it and she 's getting it taken care of . Baby Lawns - She 's getting big and strong and she really has a distinctive personality now . She 's extremely friendly and social - so active and lively . She 's a rolling machine . She wants to propel herself around and being that she can 't crawl yet , she rolls wherever she wants to go . She has two big teeth on the bottom and the top ones are coming in now too . I think this may be partly to blame for her sleeplessness , although to my utter joy and amazement she has been sleeping exceptionally well since Thursday night . Let 's hope she keeps it up . Canela - Canela has been escaping . Every chance she gets she bolts out the door and doesn 't stop running . On one of her AWOL escapades she picked up a load of fleas so now she 's itching and biting and I have to give her a bath this weekend and put some Frontline on her , which is a hassle I didn 't want to deal with . Like I don 't have enough crap to do around here . I swear . Bella - I 'm a little upset that I haven 't heard a word from my cousin in almost two months now . I can only take this to mean that she is all wrapped up in her boyfriend Cal and that he didn 't ditch her for not symbolically reaching over and unlocking his already unlocked power locks . I hope Bella isn 't mad at me . I really got the sense that she was upset about me having a baby and not being able to do the things we used to do anymore and that makes me very sad . Fallon - This is the cousin I wrote about last Fall who was in the abusive relationship and dropped all contact with everyone on my side of the family . Unfortunately , even after I tried to reach out to her it 's still the same radio silence on her end . I even tried to text and ask if it was something I did or if it was her fiance not liking my parents , sister and me and she just texted back and said " sorry I 'm busy . " It 's such a shame . My Grandmothers - Oh you know them . They 're both great actually . They hated their snowy winter and they both live for pictures of Baby Lawns and then they send her care packages . I call both of them weekly and they go on and on about their doctor appointments and a bunch of people in town who died that I don 't know . Because they live in the same town and know the same people I have to hear the same conversation twice , but it 's ok . I talked to Mommom Jewel the other day about Lent . She 's a church lady , Mommom Jewel is . Methodist . I 've mentioned before how she doesn 't know how liberal her church actually is and she has no clue that her pastor is gay . I think it 's hysterical . But anyway , we were talking about my going to the Catholic church by my house and my Lenten sacrifice and she said for years she tried to give stuff up for Lent and it never worked and she never felt any closer to God from doing it . This year at her church the wonderful gay pastor has been giving sermons about how people can sacrifice their time for others during Lent instead of giving up a material thing . The Methodist church is big on service to the community , which is one of the reasons I really support their beliefs . Mommom has been volunteering even more than usual and she made a commitment to cheer someone up and make someone laugh every single day . Isn 't that sweet ? I just love that idea . I think that 's what I 'll do next year . I feel like this year I already made my sacrifice and I don 't want to go back on it and change my mind halfway through . I 'm terrible at sticking with things and have zero discipline , so I really want to see it through the whole 40 days with no chocolate . Speaking of which . . . I 'm making a coconut cake for Sunday dinner today . I realized this week that the one thing I love just as much as chocolate is coconut . Of course I like coconut better with chocolate , but it 's divine without it too . Have you tried Haagen Dasz pineapple coconut ice cream ? Oh my God . You have to . Chocolate who ? And Last - As you know I am theologically promiscuous and like to incorporate ideas and customs from many different religions into our lives , both to honor my diverse patchwork quilt of a family and also because I enjoy it . We are going to have a Hebrew baby naming ceremony for Baby Lawns and we need to choose a Hebrew name for her . We are soliciting ideas from all over . I 'm asking my Jewish grandparents , my aunt in Israel who just had her own baby girl and I 'm going to ask you guys for ideas too and then maybe for fun we 'll do another poll and pick Baby Lawns her special Jewish name . If you have any ideas , please leave them in the comments section . Books - I am on a total book bender now and it all started with a reader comment ! I 've read three incredible books in the past two weeks and I 'm going to do another book post soon to tell you about them because I 'm so excited to share . Get your ideas ready for me too . Sunday dinner - It 's my turn to do Sunday dinner today and I 'm making Barefoot Contessa 's turkey sausage lasagna . It 's the best lasagna I 've ever eaten and pretty easy to make . We 're having it with salad , whole grain garlic toast and coconut cake . Feast Day ! ! I started this blog in October of 2005 after reading a New York Times article about blogging and about super famous , book deal blogger Stephanie Klein . I didn 't know a thing about computers , except how to type on them and look up stuff on the Internet . I didn 't even consider myself a writer back then . I just knew that I had some funny stories . When I wrote about my old job my blog blew up overnight . I had crazy traffic . I had literary agents and TV executives interested . None of that worked out because I didn 't have enough real writing experience . Then I got busted by a coworker , pretty much threatened with legal action and I used that as the catalyst to quit my job and go to grad school where I was offered a position as a graduate teaching assistant . I decided to try grad school and I loved it . Three years later I had an MFA in creative writing . I was a real teacher then . I started seeing myself as a real writer and I grew so much creatively . The problem was that as I grew as a writer , my blog shrunk . My traffic now is a fraction of what it was and I get that . I still have plenty of followers and daily visitors , but my writing about my life doesn 't have the same shock appeal ( usually ) as my old stuff . I like how I write now much better and I have plenty of material from the people I know and the things that I observe and remember . I don 't work anymore because I need to stay home to take care of Baby Lawns . Right now it wouldn 't work for me to go back to teaching and I like being home with her while she 's so little . I don 't mind sacrificing a paycheck and all that comes with it for her , but now I find that during the day I have more free time to write . She 's napping right now as a matter of fact . I miss all the writing I did in grad school and this blog provides me with the structure and feedback I need to keep writing now in my new life . It motivates me and it 's fun . I like interacting with all of you . I want my blog to grow though . I read some hugely popular blogs and I think all the time that my stories are just as good and just as entertaining , if not more so . I want to share my writing and my life with more people . It 's not to make money and it 's not because I 'm an attention seeking fame whore . It 's because I 'm a writer and we writers want to be read . I want to interact with even more readers because that makes me write more and the more I write , the better I get at it and the happier I am . I 'm miserable when I don 't get to write . I 'd write all day if I could . I think a lot of the reason that my blog isn 't all that popular is because it 's ugly . Since October of 2005 , I have never changed it and that 's because I 'm a Luddite and don 't know how . I can barely post a picture without messing everything up . My blog is like the frumpy girl in Clueless who is secretly hot and super cool and just needs a makeover . It 's like a house whose decor is stuck in the 70s with wood paneling and big floral wallpaper on the ceiling . It needs a designer to come in and revamp it . I need help people of the Internet . My blog needs a serious makeover . I need the Stacey and Clinton of web design to intervene . It 's time . I just don 't know where to look and I can 't afford most of the blog fancying up services I 've found . I thought the best thing to do would be to ask you all for advice . Does anyone know where I could find someone to spice up my blog ( who wouldn 't charge a fortune ) to make it pretty and hip and no longer frumpy so maybe it can finally take off its glasses and cardigan and slip on some leather pants , get a perm and dance with the hottest guy in school inside a fun house ? 31 I 've been playing with alternative desserts , but remember the whole point of this chocolate fast was because I don 't really like many other non - chocolate desserts . I had a wholly unsatisfying few bites of vanilla ice cream last night . Last weekend while on vacation , I got a slice of key lime pie after dinner . The only thing I 've had that really seemed to satiate my desire was carrot cake , which I thought I didn 't like . Apparently in desperate times I will eat close to anything . This past weekend kind of proves that . Saturday was the Jewish holiday of Purim and my Jewish grandmother made the traditional Purim cookie called Hamantaschen . Hamantaschen are triangular cookies , shortbreadish in nature , which are filled . They are very much like a jam thumbprint cookie except a different shape . Hamantaschen are kind of blehh , mainly because they don 't traditionally involve chocolate . Authentic , old school Hamantaschen are filled with poppyseeds or prunes , two things which need to be banned from desserts forever as far as I 'm concerned . Like fruitcake and black jellybeans , only old people like desserts with prunes and poppyseeds as the star ingredients . I was so desperate this weekend that I ate prune and poppyseed cookies although I don 't even like them . I tried to think of sweets from my childhood that I enjoyed and I remembered my Aunt Sheila used to make this cherry cobbler , crisp thing that I was crazy over . I thought I 'd try to make it for Sunday dinner this week and see if it still tasted as good as I 'd remembered . Well , no . I was in for Nasty - Assed Recipes Surprise Edition . The thing , which Aunt Sheila calls " Cherry Pineapple Delight " is known to the rest of the world as a dump cake and it 's sickeningly sweet and generally disgusting . You dump a can of cherry pie filling and a can of crushed pineapple into a baking dish and cover it with a bag of dry yellow cake mix . Then you sprinkle pecans over that and drizzle a stick of melted butter on top of it . Throw the mess in the oven at 350 for a half an hour and that 's it . Gross . Clearly my tastes have changed significantly since childhood because I hated it . I guess as a kid I just didn 't know any better and sweets were so rare that I probably would have liked anything containing sugar . I liked a lot of gross stuff as a kid - things I haven 't taken a mouthful of since my age has been measured in double digits . I took a brief inventory of these things in my memory and realized that many of them didn 't contain any chocolate , so then I thought maybe I should go back and try them all over again just for fun . Problem is , they are all processed garbage . Twinkies , hand pies , white iced honey buns , pecan twirls , snowballs . I don 't think I could choke any of it down . The other day I was in the grocery store and ice cream was on sale . You know , I couldn 't find a flavor that I 'd actually eat that didn 't have chocolate . I think I have a problem . I 've got a month left . It 's feeling like a sacrifice . Today I 'm going to try to make an applesauce cake and see if that helps . It has cream cheese frosting . I thought I hated that too , but apparently without chocolate in my life , cream cheese seems slightly more appealing than it once did . Any non - chocolate dessert ideas ? If my cravings don 't get better I 'm going to have to start going to meetings . The Easter candy displays in the stores are not helping things either . Spring Break is going full throttle down here . All week long the streets were jammed with rental cars put - putting down A1A . You can always tell the tourists because they go real slow down the beach as if they 've never seen sand nor sea . You can see them trying to take pictures of the beach with their cell phones as they drive . For locals , it 's absolutely maddening if you need to get somewhere because , you know , you actually live here and aren 't on vacation and you have an appointment . Forget trying to get into your favorite restaurants this time of year . Out of towners create two hour plus waits , so we have to cook at home until Easter 's over . It 's kind of a requirement for Florida residents to bitch about the tourists during season - as if you aren 't a true Floridian if you don 't at least huff and puff over the traffic or make disparaging remarks about how the Quebecois don 't tip well ( or at all as some servers say ) and well , everyone has to make fun of the Germans on the beach in their Speedos and knee socks . Yes , at the same time . Truly though , I think we Floridians welcome our tourists . Deep down we know that one of the trade - offs for living in a hot tourist destination is that we have to share the place with vacationers and we do so with grace . That 's why we 're particularly ashamed and angered when we hear about scammers taking advantage of our guests . Last week a story aired all over the local news about a guy who was posting ads on Craigs List listing condos and hotel rooms in South Beach for very low prices . It sounded too good to be true and of course it was because most of the addresses didn 't even exist or they were for alleyways or run down abandoned buildings . Unsuspecting visitors actually signed contracts with this scumbag and sent him their payments via Western Union . Then when they arrived they realized they 'd been duped and were stuck with no place to stay . I can 't imagine how they must have felt . Last May my parents held a big fundraiser at their house for the wounded troops at Walter Reid Hospital . My uncle runs a charity organization , which you 've read about here before and he came down from Millpond and we had a big BBQ . Local politicians showed up , everything . It was a big deal and we raised a lot of money and had a great time . Now at the same time , a real estate agent was showing the house across the street from my parents . You may remember several posts about that house too . It 's an ornate mansion , built as a spec home , which has never been lived in and the builder has still never found a buyer despite open houses every weekend . I think it 's been four years vacant now . Drawn by the tractor beam of the freak magnet in my parents foyer , RP showed up to look at the house across the street just before the fundraiser was about to begin . He told the realtor that we was a doctor who ran a chain of weight loss surgery clinics owned by his wife 's family . His wife , he said , was Colombian and had been Miss Colombia in the Miss Universe pageant a couple years back . This already raised the red flags because this guy was a pudgy , dorky Vietnamese guy who looked like the kid from " Up . " There 's no way any Sofia Vergara look - alike would be interested in him , doctor or not . He also told us he was definitely buying the house and was buying with cash . In addition , he told us he was investing a massive amount of money in a hedge fund that week and he bragged , at least forty times , that he had gone to Harvard medical school and that he had taught up at the University of Florida in Gainesville . That 's a lot of accomplishments for someone who didn 't look very old . I don 't know how old he was , but he appeared to be about thirty give or take . To really drive it home he was wearing a tee shirt from Harvard medical school . The realtor , thinking he had a high rolling , cash - buyer for the money pit , was totally smitten and brought RP over to meet the neighbors . RP ate up all the attention , promising a sizable donation to my uncle 's charity . All the guy did was brag . He never shut up . The strange thing was that a friend of mine , a local prosecutor , actually recognized the guy from her college days in Gainesville ! She said he had been a bartender at a popular hangout up there . RP left and came back to the party later that night . He changed out of his Harvard tee shirt into a BMW shirt and I 'm guessing that his fancy watch was a flea market special straight from China . All night long he schmoozed at the BBQ . He ate and drank and talked about his hot wife , mysteriously absent , his rich family , his in - law 's rich family , his cars , his penthouse and of course how we went to Harvard . Here 's the thing this fool didn 't understand . We know lots of people who are rich and well educated . We have friends who are literal billionaires and I know lots of people who 've gone to Ivy League schools . NONE OF THEM TALK ABOUT IT . That 's the rule of the truly high class . They don 't discuss their accomplishments or possessions . There 's no reason to . So when some idiot comes spouting off all kinds of hyperbole about who he is , where he went and what he 's got , it set off some alarms . In other words , we all knew he was bullshit . RP didn 't do anything criminal to us that night . He was an actor playing a role . Though he was a bad actor and no one believed him , he still got to go to a party . He ate and drank for free and probably felt like he was a somebody , but that 's not against the law . He didn 't take anything from us except our time and we never heard from him again because he couldn 't have kept up the game for very long . He wasn 't buying the house , investing in a hedge fund or making a donation , but I 'm sure saying those words - purchase , invest and donate , must have made him feel very powerful . Down here you meet a lot of people who aren 't who they say they are . This place seems to attract a lot of lost souls with identity crises or maybe the glitz and glam of South Florida causes this behavior . I wonder often what makes a person like RP do the things he does . Is he a sociopath ? Is he evil ? Is he mentally ill ? What was his life like ? Is it too hard for some very insecure and confused people to live in a place where most of the people you encounter are on vacation , having fun , going out on weeknights , staying late and napping on the beach , their biggest worry being sunburn ? Even more difficult then , for people who feel like failures , to live so close , so very close to decadent fortune , passing each day the restaurants you can 't afford , the opulent homes not built for you . You see the boats speeding down the canals with wakes like plumes and you aren 't on them , cocktail cavalierly in hand and a bikini beauty smiling coyly at your side . Each day you drive by communities fortified by gates and guards and you know that those gates were designed to keep you out . Maybe the frustration accumulates . There could be break - ups , lost jobs , missed opportunities , letters of acceptance wished for and never received to places like Harvard medical school . I wonder at what point in all that disappointment , does a man go from harmlessly playing a part and touring open houses he knows he 'll never buy or trying on a new identity just to crash a party at a waterfront mansion , to becoming a felon and hurting innocent people for personal gain . How does that happen ? What makes someone think that 's ok , or if they know it 's not ok , what makes them do it anyway ? RP is an idiot and a loser . He wasn 't even good at being a criminal . When I saw him on the news , after my initial disgust I felt almost pity for him because I realized from the encounter we had that he was desperate and self - loathing , so pathetic . But I don 't feel sorry liars and scammers . I pity the people he conned , whose money and trust he stole . Remember back when I said that if I had a million dollars I 'd be a snowbird and that I 'd summer up North in Millpond ? Well , I don 't have a million dollars just yet and I can 't afford my own summer home , but I 'm getting my ultimate wish , which is to spend the summer in Millpond and be with my family up there ! It 's official . I 'm summering up North ! Baby Lawns and I will be staying with my grandmother and Baby Lawns ' Christening is now set for June 26th , which is her eight month birthday and three days before my grandmother 's 80th . We 're even going to have a Christening party complete with fried chicken , Jell - O salads and pulled pork . I am thrilled . I am beyond thrilled . We are going to have so much fun and everyone can get to know Baby Lawns . I can hang out with my cousins and their kids and go to family functions all summer . Best of all , I can make my grandmother happy . Summer is hard for her because it 's her wedding anniversary , my grandfather 's birthday and the anniversary of his death and funeral . All of those days are extremely hard on her . She told me that when he died she had no reason to live anymore and that coming down and meeting Baby Lawns gave her her will back and made her want to be alive . Knowing how badly I 've wanted to spend summers away and hearing my grandmother say that , my husband knew we had to find a way to make my going up there work . He 's going to be working in the New York and New Jersey offices of his company . It 's about a 3 to 4 hour drive from Millpond , but it 's not that bad . He 'll work up there during the week and then come down to Millpond to be with us on the weekends . I 'm so excited ! ! ! I can go to Rehoboth whenever I want ! I can have Grotto Pizza and Thrashers fries ! I can be with the people I love who won 't be around much longer . Thank heavens . Last night I heard from a friend of mine who lives out west . She had a miscarriage several months ago and to help her grieving she decided to become a nanny and she works for a prestigious agency who has placed her as one of the nannies for a certain celebrity . She is one of the weekend nannies and gets paid almost a thousand dollars just to work Friday night through Sunday night . Can you imagine ? I think the most I ever got for babysitting was ten dollars an hour . I won 't tell you who the celebrity is or even if this person is a male or a female , but I will tell you that the children she nannies for are twin boys and are toddlers and that the situation is a terrible nightmare and that these children 's lives have been full of drama and news crews since birth . Their lives suck and as a result the kids are nightmares . Absolute terrors , she says . The problem is that their parents don 't care about them . Both mom and dad are totally absent and self absorbed and have no interest in parenting the two , lonely little boys . This isn 't surprising or a new idea . Celebrities or rich people ignoring their kids . We probably expect that . Hell , it 's the plot of Mary Poppins , but it 's just so sad to hear it firsthand from someone you know and my friend unfortunately doesn 't sail in on an umbrella and dance with chimney sweeps to save the day . All day and all night the boys cry for their mother and often she 's around , even in the house , but won 't respond . When that doesn 't work they cry for their father and who knows what he 's getting into . Pretty soon they just give up and take their anger out on their nannies until they wear themselves out and give up in despair . What a horrible life for children who my friend says have everything . They have mansions , toys beyond imagination and all their needs are met except the most basic - the love and affection of their screwed up parents . It breaks my heart . I 'm not picking on Catholics ! Cheese and rice people , I just told you I go to Mass every morning for crying out loud and I 'm observing Lent in the way that doesn 't allow you to take Sundays off . Give me a break over here . The other day when I talked about going to the Catholic church and how I was finding comfort in that , I worried that I was going to get some backlash because of the church 's stance against homosexuality ( among other things ) . I lost a follower , but who knows why that was and I was surprised I didn 't get any angry emails . Still , I feel the need to clarify . I disagree with the way most religions condemn homosexuality . All of my life I have been accepting and loving towards gay people and I have defended their rights . Recently though , I realized that I was using the wrong argument to defend them and without even meaning to , I was implying that homosexuality might still be wrong . I had a huge epiphany about this and my epiphany has helped me to become even more compassionate to gay people . I grew up around gay people because my mother and aunt were friends with lots of gay men . Until I was eleven , I didn 't realize that women could be gay too because I didn 't know any lesbians . While we had some openly gay men in Millpond , we didn 't seem to have any lesbians . I have no idea why that was . When I was eleven , my mom got a lesbian friend . Her name was CJ and she was a security guard and looked like a chunky teenage boy . When my mom explained to me that CJ was a lesbian and told me what that was it wasn 't any big deal . I was just like , ok , well women can like women too just like men can like men . How about that . It just wasn 't a major issue for me because I had always been around gay people and found them to be just like everyone else , though perhaps more fun . I attribute that to the fact that my mom and aunt were friends with very flamboyant gay men , who were indeed , far more fun than everyone else . My mother taught me that some people like people of the opposite sex and some people like people of the same sex and we didn 't get any more into it than that because as I child I didn 't care . I naturally accepted this fact and went and played with my heterosexual Barbies without pondering it any further . As I got older I made my own gay friends and I felt badly when I saw them discriminated against . How stupid and horrible , I would think and I would argue with people who hated homosexuality . I don 't really like the term homophobic , because I don 't necessarily always equate fear and hate . Some people who hate gay people or deny their rights aren 't scared of them . When I tried to argue with anti - gay people , I often used the argument that being gay is not a choice and I don 't think it is in almost every case . I say almost because I met a few women who told me that they did choose to be with other women because they had been raped or abused by men and were fearful of men . I still think their " choice " is up for debate , but I 'm just telling you what they said . I believe some people are born gay . I don 't think that being born gay is the equivalent of a birth defect or that if a child comes out gay that it means there was some accident in the womb or a gene mutation . It 's like having brown eyes . Some people are born with them , some aren 't . It 's a different way of being like all the other different ways of being . I meant well when I argued that homosexuality is not a choice . I based my argument on unspoken playground morals - you can 't be mean to people for things they can 't help . I didn 't understand that there was a flaw in my logic or what I was accidentally implying , because the truth is , you shouldn 't be mean to people for things they can help either . You just shouldn 't be mean period . The problem in defending homosexuality by saying that it isn 't a choice is that it implies that if it were a choice , then it would be ok to discriminate and denigrate the people who made that choice . It implies that if homosexuality were a choice ( which I still believe it isn 't ) then it would be a very bad choice . It wouldn 't . It doesn 't matter why people are gay . Who cares ? Choice , genetics , hormones , nature , nurture , whatever . It 's wonderful to be gay no matter the reason . In fact , we should probably not even try to look for a reason because looking for a reason again implies that it 's like a disease and we need to find the cause so we can fix it . The cause doesn 't matter . It 's not a problem . Nothing needs to be fixed except the mindsets and broken belief systems that say homosexuality is evil . Again , I used to use flawed logic in defending gay adoption . One of my arguments was that you can 't make children gay . What would it matter if you could ? I don 't think you can , but hypothetically , what if you could ? Why would this be a problem ? You could argue that then the child would be subjected to harassment and prejudice . The solution to that isn 't changing the gay child or trying to prevent the child from being gay . The solution is fixing the bullies , not the victim . I also argue that gay people can make better parents than straight people because gay people can 't take reproduction for granted the way heterosexuals can . Gay couples or individuals can never have a child by accident , therefore every gay person who has a child wants and plans for the child , which is an ideal situation . Often they go to great lengths to get their children , so it 's obvious that these children are greatly loved , valued and appreciated . I 'd much rather children be raised in stable , loving gay homes than by uneducated , impoverished teenagers . But back to the church . I won 't become a member of any religion that condemns gay people , which means that I won 't become Catholic ( there are many other Catholic ideologies I disagree with besides this one ) . I am using the location and ritual of the church as a place for me to contemplate and pray . I am embracing the values that speak to me and rejecting the ones that don 't . This one , I reject . We 're going away for the weekend for a family trip on the RV , which is as close to camping as we will ever get . This afternoon we 'll be crossing the state headed for Florida 's west coast where we 'll site see in Naples , maybe do a little shopping , definitely do some good eating and take in a Spring Training game . My husband has a cousin who is visiting Ft . Myers right now and we 're excited for Baby Lawns to meet her and her husband . Should be a really fun , much needed weekend away and I 'm really looking forward to it , although I 'm a little nervous having never traveled with the baby before . I 'm sure she 'll love it . Baby Lawns is a total people person . Old people especially . I can 't figure this out but whenever an old person talks to Baby Lawns she goes crazy laughing . She doesn 't so much do that with younger folk , though she smiles at everyone including animals , and I can 't figure out what she thinks is so hilarious about seniors . Is it the grey hair or what ? Silly child . Thank God I got a baby with a big sense of humor . I 'm feeling like a new person this week . Baby has been sleeping at night for the first time in a long time . She unexpectedly popped out two teeth two weeks ago and I 'm thinking maybe that was what was causing her sleeplessness . I didn 't think she 'd grow teeth so young ( 4 months ) so I wasn 't attributing her fussiness to teething and I was confused about what was upsetting her . I should have known because I had teeth at 2 1 / 2 months , which is like some kind of record . I also got my hair cut and colored and I got a new purse . My family staged a purse intervention with me . My old purse was pretty ragged , as was my ten year old wallet . I could have been on Hoarders : Purse Edition . That damned thing was like a trashcan with straps . I 'm so neat and organized usually , but for some reason my OCD doesn 't extend to handbags and I 'm a purse slob . I admit it . I carry around so many old receipts , tissues , candies , used up gift cards , purells and all amounts of debris that my purse looks like the shopping cart of a crazy person . But no more . I 'm going to try to change my purse hoarding ways and start fresh . A few years ago my cousin got me the most beautiful lavender , suede wallet from Ann Taylor and I never used it . I don 't know why . I guess I thought my old , faded torn wallet was fine . Same with my purse . I bought it three years ago at Marshalls and used it pretty much every day . It was light colored so it got grey on the bottom , scuffed all over and the threads unraveled so there were strings hanging off it like cobwebs . I mean , it cost all of $ 12 . 99 , so we 're not talking about a well made piece of merchandise that 's expected to last several years . It was time to go . My parents brought me back a beautiful , pale olive , real leather purse from their last trip . It 's totally glamorous this new purse , but did I use it ? Nope . I kept it next to the front door so I could look at it and kept using Stringy , as I 've been calling old Marshall 's purse . Once I had to do a writing exercise where you listed the items in a fictional character 's purse in order to describe this person through her belongings . It occurred to me that if someone were to list my belongings in an attempt to garner an impression of me , that the impression of me would be that I am a nut job . It was time to get rid of both Stringy and my old wallet . I thought the weekend trip might be a good time to bust out the new purse and new wallet and clear the clutter I 've been unnecessarily lugging around with me , because I just swore that I was going to need that three year old Andes mint that came with the check at the Olive Garden four trips to Millpond ago . I made a rule that I could only bring what was absolutely necessary and no other junk was coming along and in all , I realized I really didn 't need very much stuff . License , credit cards , chapstick , phone , insurance card , cash , Kleenex , bandaids , gum , pony tail holder , Swiss Army knife and sunglasses . Nothing else . Anyway , let 's see how I do . Hopefully I can resist collecting a bunch of crap while I 'm out of town . I have to finish packing and wow , babies need a lot of gear to go somewhere overnight . It 's a bit overwhelming . I keep feeling like I 'm forgetting something important and it 's making me a little panicky . Wish me luck with that . Nostalgia is like a dormant virus in my body . Every so often , as with cold sores , I tend to have outbreaks of it and I 'm in the middle of one now . For the past couple weeks I 've been reminiscing about the 90s , unable to believe that I graduated high school twenty years ago . I lived the majority of that decade in Atlanta and I consider those years some of the best of my life , so much so that I fear I may never get over leaving that city and my life there . It 's been eleven years since I moved to Florida and each year I keep thinking that this has to be the year I finally stop missing it , but it hasn 't happened yet . I loved the 90s and I miss a lot of things from that era . Sally Jessy Raphael ( and how EVERYONE had a talk show ) , grunge fashion , overalls , OJ Simpson , biker shorts , my insecurity , my ex after he went nuts , rayon skirts , Melrose Place , Jerry Springer , sponge painting , Zima , bandleader jackets , Billy Bob and Angelina , the Monica Lewinsky scandal , JonBenet , Geraldo , life before DVR , Newt Gingrich , the first Gulf War , The Crow , Rabin 's assassination , Oklahoma City , TWA 800 , JFK Junior 's death , Princess Diana 's death , Buddy Lists , being called a Gen Xer , Buddy Holly glasses , Baywatch , fades and surfer cuts , Spice World , the Macarena , the last few seasons of Roseanne , Right Said Fred , living on ramen noodles , not appreciating my youthful figure , Dances With Wolves and pretty much all Kevin Costner films , bowling shirts , worrying constantly about romantic relationships . Did I forget anything ? 8
|
He Tweets " Just booked 2 more episodes on the soap opera " All My Children " as the male orderly following an under 5 role in next few weeks . Viola ! JHR " Jessica Cimato , one of the breakout stars of " You 're Cut Off , " cosmically connected with Astrochicks today for a fun one on one interview . We wanted to get the inside scoop on the show and find out what our Sagittarius girl is all about . Jessica a princess from the Jersey Shore just like Snooki , originally thought she had been selected to appear on the show " The Good Life . " After flying out to Hollywood , the producers took our Jersey girl shopping and as fans saw in the first episode , Jessica 's credit card was declined . At that moment , Jess found out that VH1 had flipped the script and she had been cut off . Like a trooper , she decided to move forward with the show and finish the eight weeks of shooting . Although Jess was shocked by the living conditions of the house and bunking with 8 girls she said , " Really put me over the top . " No kidding , what a downer that pad was . What about her BFF 's ? Who did she bond with on the show ? Jessica says , " Chrissy we laughed a lot , and I 'm really close with Gia . " Who did she get along with the least ? She replied , " Most definitely Jackie , Erica and Pam . " Jess did add she gets along with the girls much better now , since they don 't have to live together anymore . Sharing a house with 8 spoiled girls has to be tough . Especially Sagittarius girls , they really need their space and freedom ! In episode three , Jessica came face to face with the " Queen of Mean , " Perez Hilton and Astrochicks was dying to find out what he was like in person . Jessica says , " I was initially intimidated by Perez . He says what others are thinking . In person , he 's actually very down to earth and nice . " Perez an Aries and Jess a Sag , naturally connected as fire signs . Nice to know that Perez is a cool guy . Next question was is she a reality show junkie like us ? Jessica says , " I love Real Housewives of New Jersey , Dina was my favorite up until she left . " What about Danielle Staub ? She says , " I can 't stand her , we have a local neighbor is who just like her , we even call her Danielle Staub to her face . " Jess added she has a secret crush on Albie Manzo as well . He 's definitely a cutie . What about boys , who is Jessica dating these days . She told us she 's single and ready to mingle . What astrological signs has she dated in the past ? She says , " A Capricorn which was a mistake , Libra another mistake and Scorpio definitely a mistake . " Interesting combo ? Does she follow Astrology ? Jessica says , " My best friend is a Leo and we are obsessed with Astrology . When we meet guys , we always ask his birth date . " What about her Capricorn guy , why didn 't the love connection work ? She says , " My Capricorn guy was hard headed , set in his ways , and very argumentative . We fought on all the time . " She went on to say although the Libra was charming and good looking , she thought he was too insecure . The Scorpio , way too intense and he loved to argue too much as well . Astrochicks thinks Jessica should give a Leo or an Aries a try , they would have passion , fun , and lots of laughs . Now that the show is airing , what does Jessica 's family and friends think about " You 're Cut Off ? " Does she feel that VH1 has portrayed her accurately ? Jessica told us every Monday night her friends come over to watch the show with her mom and her . They think it 's funny but like a good friend , they don 't hesitate to point out when they think Jessica was wrong . Also , she thinks the edit of her personality was 98 % accurate , although some clips made her cringe . Which brings us to the question everyone wants to know , does Jessica still live with her mom ? The answer is yes . Sadly , Jessica and her mom lost her father in January 2010 . Struggling with the loss of a man they love so much , the show has actually helped the two have a better understanding of each other . Jessica says , " After the show , I have a new appreciation of my mom . I love her even more , and I think she 's absolutely wonderful . She 's is the one person in my life I admire the most , her strength and her big heart . " Awww , that 's sweet ! In the end , what was Jessica 's best experience on the show and her worst ? Jessica reveals the best experience is yet to be aired . She says , " In the seventh episode VH1 will show my life changing moment . " What about the worst experience ? Jessica says , " In general , the different personalities that I had to deal with . " She added the arguing between the girls took a toll on her . Also , she upset many of the girls with her directness . She says , " Would you rather have me lie to you or be honest ? " Sagittarius girls love to tell it to you straight . What are Jessica 's plans for the future ? Does she have any entertainment career aspirations ? Jessica says , " I would love to do comedy . Stand up or Improv . I love SNL and would do anything to work for Lorne Michaels , I would even be the janitor , just to get my first big break . " Her favorite comedians are Vince Vaughn and Molly Shannon . She thinks Molly has great comedic timing and loves the characters she created for SNL . Vince Vaughn , well he 's a hottie and totally funny . Astrologically , Jessica Cimato definitely has the personality and passion to become a television personality . The next year should bring her new career opportunities and even a serious love interest . Just stay away from the Capricorn and Libra 's Jess ! I wonder what sign Albie Manzo is ? Don 't expect to watch You 're Cut Off tonight . The show was moved Monday nights which means episode 4 already aired this past Monday . Here is recap of what happened . This week was all about earning money . Laura Baron told the girls that will seek employment and get jobs which the girls did not like . Gia said " I am rich I do not need to work " . The girls had to work on that resumes . Most of them did had much to add into their resumes . Leanne did some volunteer work and Erica was in law school . Gia refused to do her resume . She did not want to kiss nobodys ass to get a job . For once I actually agree with her on that . I hate kissing people 's asses too . So she did not do anything . Then they had to go for an interview . Everyone did an interview except for Gia . During the inerviews , Erica said that she wants to be like Judge Judy and Nancy Grace but prettier that is what she said lol Chrissy being vain that she is says used her looks and hotness to get hired and did " her walk " . Jessica complained about how much she will get paid saying it was not worth it . The next day Laura had a surprise for them and that surprise was the girls had to go to work ! They all had to get up 7 : 30am . Everyone was ready except for Chrissy . She thinks people should be waiting on her . She says " everyone needs to be waiting for the star " So they left without her because she was taking her sweet time in the bathroom . Thy showed up in this shoe factory . They all had job positions . Jackie , Courtnee and Jessica has to do the phone calls , Leann and Pam has to do the envelopes , Gia and Amber had to carry boxes and look for shoes . Which Gia complained about and last but not least they gave Erica the manager position because she was in law school . Gia and Jessica were pissed abut that . Now this is when it started to become hilarious Erica annoyed everyone especially Jessica and Gia telling them what they should do / checking up on them and they were not happy . Erica told Jessica that she wasn 't doing a good job talking to customers on the phone . Gia told her that " you are not manager " and was pissed off that Erica was looking at her . I felt like Erica purposely tried to piss them off . She kept saying " I am in law school " like a thousand times trying to annoy them . Erica told the guy that Gia was being disrespectful . Then Gia quit because of her . They all received their checks of $ 70 which they felt they should received a whole lot more than $ 70 . Once they got home Laura had a special treat for them in the backyard to relax . They had massages , spray tanning ect . They had to use their check for it . Then Chrissy came thinks that she could join them . But she wasn 't aloud because she did not work and did not receive a check and then she said " you guys are haters , you guys are just jealous " and she stormed off . Erica was talking to Leanne about Gia and Jessica which they heard her talking about them . So they went to her room telling her to shut up . Larua Baron pulled Jessica aside to find out what was going on with her . Jessica revealed that her father dies of blood clots and that her personality changed after his death . Which i felt really bad for her . At the end of the episode , everyone passed except Chrissy ( not shocked ) and Gia . Erica won V . I . P which left Gia really pissed off . She began to cry and freak out and she stormed off outside wanting to quite the program . The finale of Brandy and Ray - J : A Family Business aired Sunday night . In the finale the whole family went to Mississippi for a family reunion . Brandy and Ray - J were born there before they moved to L . A . They went to Sonja 's sister house . Brandy and Ray - J went bike riding which they did when they were younger . They stopped to take pictures and sign autographs from fans as well . Meanwhile Sonja was fed up with everyone telling her what do do . She felt underappreciated . She had a talk with Ray - J at the lake and she says that she wants to be more appreaciated . She also says that they are like any ordinary family that has ups and downs . Brandy and Ray - J also went to a crawfish shop . There was this chick that told Ray - J " Here is my future baby daddy " LOL which was hilarious . Brandy also went food shopping with Sonja and Shay for the family reunion . Brandy and shay both goof off at the store . At the end of the episode Willie sang a song to his wife . That dude can sing ! He showed his dedication to her which was sweet . Watching this show made me see how normal the Norwood family really are . Terrel Owens is back ! The . T . O Show is back for a 2nd season . Watch the supertrailer for the new season which will be premiering July 11th . This season will bring even more drama when he rekindles an old flamae and takes on being a father . Featuring the single ' Nothing To Lose ' ( with Miley Cyrus ) , a remake of Sublime 's hit song ' What I Got ' , a rootsy version of ' Every Rose Has It 's Thorn ' , the theme song to the upcoming VH1 show " Bret Michaels : Life As I Know It " titled ' Riding Against The Wind ' and much more ! The new album will be available from Target , Best Buy , iTunes , Yahoo , Napster & anywhere else you buy digital music ! Buy a copy here I just want to remind you all that You 're Cut Off ans Dad camp will be switching time slots . Why ? I don 't know maybe VH1 wants more people to tune in to watch You ' r Cut Off on Monday nights . Which is a good thing . They all had a group meeting with David and David revealed the performance scores . Everyone went down since being there , except for Kevin . He increased which isn 't good . He was pissed off about it . David revealed to them that there will be going to a haunted hospital which one of the highest death rated . Each patient had a session with David in the hospital . David took Cody into this room that had writing in the wall since he was afraid of becoming someone else . He then took Traci into a morgue . He a picture of her son and she had to put his picture inside as morgue . She was terrified since her fear was death . But she did it . With Arine he took her tot he hallway and on the floor I don 't know what it was but it looked drops of blood and he made her touch it and rubbed it around her clothes and face . Kevin was the most difficult one . He took him into this room and had to perform a hex . He had to reapeat " I want to got he hell " over and over . Once David , Kevin then said " I didn 't mean it " and he messed on that . David made him go back and made him undo it , Which raised a lot of concerns if this was the right program for Kevin . David made Jerry take his knife and used Arine as bait to see if he had urges to kill her ( yeah creepy ) he did not do thing , which was a good thing . Oh yeah Jerry withdrawn from everyone for 2 + hours . Without speaking . If you are a fan of VH1 's I Love Money and ABC 's The Bachelor / Bachelorette . Than this is the show for you ! ABC is coming up with their own " I Love Money " called The Bachalor Pad which features contestants from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette from previous seasons . Nineteen former Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants will live in a house and compete in challenges for a cash prize of , ironically enough , $ 250 , 000 . The show will be hosted by Chris Harrison and Melissa Rycroft , and Jake Pavelka will also be involved . It premieres August 9th , check out the cast ! Check out the cast Today , a year ago , the legend , Michael Jackson was found unconscious in bed at his rented mansion at 100 North Carolwood Drive in the Holmby Hills district of Los Angeles . Attempts at resuscitating him by Conrad Murray , his personal physician , were unsuccessful . He was pronounced dead at 2 : 26 local time ( 21 : 26 UTC ) We shall remember Michael forever ; for his music ; Michael , who has brought us unforgettable timeless classics like Thriller , Billie Jean , Beat It , Man in the Mirror , The Way You Make Me Feel , and much , much more . One hit album after another , Michael helped shape the face of pop culture and music we are all living today . He has inspired many and is still inspiring and will always keep inspiring . He always gave without wanting to receive , he always wanted to help humanity . The true and will always be ; The King - of - Pop . Michael Jackson have 14 # 1 Singles and 6 # 1 Albums , according to Billboard . His best selling album , " Thriller " , has sold about 110 , 000 , 000 copies worldwide , and is certificated 29X Platinum in the US for 29 , 000 , 000 copies sold , making it the best - selling album of all time . - estimated sale of over 800 million records worldwide . - Jackson won hundreds of awards , which have made him the most - awarded recording artist in the history of music . He was also a notable humanitarian and philanthropist , donating and raising hundreds of millions of dollars for beneficial causes and supporting over 39 charities . LegacyJackson throughout his career transformed the art of the music video and paved the way for modern pop music . Daily Telegraph writer Tom Utley described Jackson in 2003 as " extremely important " and a " genius . " For much of his career , he had an " unparalleled " level of worldwide influence over the younger generation through his musical and humanitarian contributions . Jackson 's music and videos , such as Thriller , fostered racial diversity in MTV 's roster , helped to put the relatively new channel into public awareness , and steered the channel 's focus from rock to pop music and R & B , shaping the channel into a form that proved enduring . Jackson 's work continues to influence numerous hip hop , rock , pop and R & B artists , including Beyoncé , Mariah Carey , Usher , Green Day , Britney Spears , Madonna , Justin Timberlake , Ludacris . I recently did an interview with Jessica Cimato from You 're Cut Off . In this interview we discussed her experience on the show , what she thinks about some of the girls on the show such as Erica . She also explains why she was pissed when Jackie won V . I . P she also tells us her favorite guest on the show . Jessica : I was super mad , cause I felt like she was really disrespectful throwing the pop corn around like a 5 year old , then the night before she was in a fight . . Why were those grounds for VIP ? Still ticks me off ! Vh1access : Now what are your thoughts on Erica ? She said that you were trash on the previous episode that aired last night . Jessica : haha Erica - its pretty clear on my thoughts about erica ! She 's clueless about most and her defense is personal attacks . She referred to me as trash when I FELL . . But she didn 't look like trash running around the house naked our first night ? Or look like trash deep throating a wine glass ? Or look like trash giving free vag shots on the runway in front of perez ? ? Enough said ! What do I know anyway ? I am trash . . Haha Jessica : Its obviously not normal for a mother to not change her daughter diaper . Or to wake up to feed her . I 'd never do that but people are different . I don 't have anything to say in her defense . . Other then I hope she gets it together ! VH1access : So far Omarosa and Perez Hilton guest starred on the show and we will see Michelle Williams from Destiny 's Child as well . Who was your favorite guest ? Jessica : my favorite was deff . Perez Hilton . . Common he is the " queen of mean " and said my team looked money and didn 't rip us head to toe . I love him for that ! Jessica : she is a wonderful person ! Wants to see us be all that we can . . Reach our full potential ! I have a great deal of respect for her ! Jessica : I hope sooo ! ! I don 't know at this point . I guess we will see how america takes to the remaining episodes . . If people are addicted , and can 't get enough ! Then maybe ! ! ! I sure hope ! VH1access : Do people recognize you now since doing You 're Cut Off ? Jessica : Haha some times . I was out getting lunch yesterday with my bff , and they girl taking our order was like " your Jess from TV right ? I was like " wellll helllooo , yes ! That is I " haha . I get it sometimes . Not often ! Jessica : iv ' e been good I guess . Definitely look at people and things differently . I have a whole new outlook for people and things around me ! Jessica : thank you ! My pleasure ! And I wanna give a shout to my family , friends and what few fans I have ! Thanks for all your support ! ! ! Couple of months ago mediatakeout . com posted that Flavor of love 2 contestant was now we now a web cam girl . Well now VH1stars . com posted her myspace . com status claiming that is a lesbian . However there is a pic of her with a dude in bed together . Hmmmmm is the lesbian thing just for attention ? who knows . The show will be about Lala preparing for her wedding . It will be five part series . Four half an hour episodes and then the one hour Wedding finale . R & B singer Ciara is one the celebrities that will be making an appearance on the upcoming show . Bridal Bootcamp - Episode 3 Recap Episode 3 of Bridal Bootcamp aired last night on VH1 . Here is what happened . The blue team did a morning workout . Tesha was not in the mood to do the workout , she revealed to Steven that she was homesick and missed her family . This weeks challenge the teams had to sail a boat putting a mattress in a raft . The green team had so much trouble their boat flipped and everyone was in the water except for Courtney which she did not do anything to help . Her team mates was pissed off with her . The blue team ended up winning and their prize was a free honeymoon . So elimination came for the green team . Turns out Lauren gained two pounds this week . She was sobbing and crying about it . The bottom two was between Lauren and Melissa . Lauren was eliminated . Kacey was pissed off about that and wanted Courtney to go home . To me I feel like this show is so rushed . It 's only 30 min . they do the challenge , the elimination and then the show is over . This show seems too plain to me . ( my personal opinion ) Episode 3 of You 're Cut Off aired last night on VH1 . Here is what happened . Last week Jackie won V . I . P so this week she was in charge assigning the girls chores . Jessica , Chrissy and Gia were still in bed and did not do their chores , which left Jackie pissed off . This weeks challenge was a fashion show . Laura Baron wanted he girls to know that they do not have spend so much money on stuff to look great . Sam Saboura was one of the this weeks guest stars . He asked the girls how much they spend on their purses and clothes . Chrissy , not even paying attention was looking at her mirror throughout the whole time Sam was talking and was rude to him as well . He tested them out by guessing what is expensive and what is cheap they had the male models bing out clothes , jewelry and champagne . He assigned them into groups of three with a male model and they had to shop at discounts which Jessica said " ew " LOL . The groups were : Pam , Erica and Amber in Team 1 . Chrissy , Leanne and Jackie in Team 2 and Gia , Courtnee and Jessica in Team 3 . Perez Hilton was one of the judges . The first team came out and Erica slipped and her crotch was ecposed lol . The team that won was Team 3 which was Jessica , Gia and Courtnee . The judges thought Team 2 looked too cheap which Chrissy was pissed about . Back home Laura left them another note which said their budgetw as lowered about Gia , Jessica and Chirssy did not do their chores . So Jackie , Jessica . Leamme went food shopping with a budget of 125 dollars . There was also a lot of drama this week with Erica and Jessica . Jessica was drunk and slipped in the kitchen and Erica called trashy by saying " I hate trashy people " which Jessica was pissed off about . Everyone was against Erica , Leanne called her a " laughing stock " int he house . Erica called her fat and that she needed botox . Later she apologized and Leanne revealed that that comment hurt her because she had a disorder . At the end of the episode everyone passed except for Chrissy , Jessica and Erica . Chrissy was once again rude . She put on lip gloss and was looking in the mirror while Laura was speaking . She then said " Can I Be Excused " Honestly I do not think that Chrissy is going to make it to graduation . Jessica was pissed off that she did not pass this week . NOTE : I am going to be doing an interview with Jessica . The interview should be up soon . You 're Cut Off is now going to air Mondays at 9 : PM starting June 28th . There is a video that worldstarhiphop . com posted of IT from I Lovew York 2 and I Love Money . In the video he is with hood buddies and they claim that they jacked Soulja Boy . They also do some freestyle . I am still not feeling Dad Camp but VH1 . com posted somethign interesting . Apparently Lindsay Lohan is a fan of Dad Camp and posted tweets . She wants to contact Benny who was one of the kids that appeared on the recent episode . Today Isaw something interesting . I was watching the CW and Maury was on . Well I was watching the show and saw two familiar people . Stacks from For The Love Of ray - J and Fransico from Megan Wants A Millionaire were on ! They were both on Maury which to me was very ironic since both of them came from VH1 dating shows and very random seeing them there and its funny because I do not watch Maury everyday , it just so happens today I catch an episode . The topic was " Secret Crush Fantasies " . There was a guy name Ray Lavender , yes another thing that is ironic she competed her love for Ray - J . Same name lol anyway he had a secret crush on her . When she found out she was happy about it . Then after that Fransico came out and his secret crush was a blonde swimsuit model , which is ironic because he competed his love for a blonde which was Megan until the show was canceled , But the funny part was he wasn 't feeling her ! He made up excuses and said " I don 't want to jeopardize are friendship " that is a polite way of saying I am not feeling you lol The audience began to boo . I just thought it was weird seeing not one but two VH1 people from a VH1 dating show on Maury on the same episode . FYI : Saaphryi appeared on The Tyra Banks show before she Flavor Of love 2 . Junk from Real Chance of love 2 wants to be nominated for MTV TJ . Which is like a Twitter MTV VJ . You get a 100 , 000 salary , grant celebrity event access such as red carpet . There are two spots left to join , so vote for Junk . These two have been going at it ever since Hot Wings posted a youtube video mocking Kat Stacks . flavaflav . net has posted pics of Hot Wings knocking out Kat Stacks at a DC outside a club recently . Check it out . Brandy is planing to use her VH1 reality show to return to the charts . thatgrapejuice . net is reporting that The Dream has confirmed that Brandy has sign on the label . Other artists include Rihanna and Kanye West also signed with the label . Gia from You 're Cut Off is co - hosting the BET Awards Kick off Party a Kress . She will be hosting with Destiny 's Child ex - member Farrah Franklin . from 9 : PM - 2 : AM . It just wasn 't something that was conducive to our schedules . You know , Matt was in the playoffs and I wasn 't going to fly across the country to hang out with people I 'm not particularly proud of probably being associated with . I told producers that if they moved it to Orlando or Miami I would be more than happy to be there . I 'm sure without me being there , there wasn 't anybody to pick on . I kind of heard it was a mess . That wasn 't exactly my intention , to be like , " Ha , check this out ! It 's going to be a disaster without me . " It wasn 't worth me going out there . I am not interested on being on Season 2 , so that was another reason . It would 've been a mess really , because I would 've gone out there and had a lot more to say . I didn 't watch the series . I didn 't watch Basketball Wives , but from what I heard and the little bits and parts I did see , which was probably a total of 15 minutes of all the episodes , I just wasn 't proud of it . I wouldn 't say I regret it 100 percent , but I was surprised and disappointed in how they edited the series and how they portrayed the women . Not necessarily . I think people are going to make up their minds regardless if I was there or not . I think being there would have opened up the flood ates to allow people to nitpick at what I have going on and ask me more detailed questions that I 'm not willing to answer . I know people are going to talk about me whether I 'm there or not . Had I liked to defend myself ? Yeah , probably , but it probably would 've gotten ugly . Not physical , but definitely ugly . I would laugh . I just kind of that 's funny . I 'm definitely by no means scared of any of these girls . If the reunion were held closer to me , especially while Matt was in the playoffs , I probably would 've attended , but going across country and missing one of Matt 's games … it wasn 't that important to me . Yeah , I was kind of whatever , because I 'm kind of whatever to the second season . At this point , none of that really bothers me with the contractual obligations . So it didn 't really affect my decision whether I had to go or not . I think I 'm just kind of over it . I 've done Season 1 . Again , I 'm not particular proud of how it came off , but I do think I was real . I portrayed myself as real as I could while the cameras were shooting . What they do with the film after the cameras were off I have no control over . I don 't think I gave them a lot of opportunities to make me look stupid . I think I 'm my biggest critic , so the few parts I did see I wasn 't particularly happy about . I know the real things I said about the situations , about Royce , about Suzie , about Evelyn , about all the women and to see that cut down , or edited or nitpicked was a little frustrating . Again , I haven 't seen the whole series , but I 'm just not happy with the overall production . I just don 't think it portrayed what I wanted to represent . Not really , because you 've been there , you 've done that so you 've lived what people are watching . You know what went on . To see it cut down , edited , mixed up is kind of frustrating because it 's like , " Wait a minute , that 's not what I said . That 's not how that happened . " Matt and I both agreed not to watch it when he was in season , because a lot of distractions and unnecessary quarrels would 've been brought up . I know that he needed to concentrate and I respected that he just felt like it wasn 't necessary to watch until the end of the season . I think he has gone back and forth with them . I don 't have a Twitter account that I have used in a long time . I don 't follow them , they don 't follow me so it would 've been pointless to get involved . Mainly , I told Matt don 't waste his time . They 're just unnecessary . They 're not a factor in our lives , to entertain ignorance belittles you and brings you down to their level . Part of me was proud of him , though . I was kind of excited . I was glad that he stood up to them . He protected me in a sense . I was excited for that , but I also told him it was probably a waste of time . I would agree with the puppets statement . I definitely think these women are highly and heavily influenced by Shaunie , sometimes for the negative . I feel like Shaunie is the new Simon . Its kind of like , " Shaunie says we should do this , " " Shaunie says we should do that . " It was kind of like , wow , these women are grown women and supposed entrepreneurs . You would think they would be able to make up their own minds and establish avenues with their own judgments . At what point to do you say , " Hey listen , regardless of what Shaunie says , I don 't like Gloria or I like Royce for me , not because someone is telling me to do this " ? Surprisingly , I 'm on good terms with Suzie . Suzie and I have BBMed each other throughout the series . A lot of the stuff that was said or portrayed on the show , we 've actually apologized to each other about . There have been some times when Suzie has BBMed me and been down in the dumps about some of the episodes she was worried about . I tried to encourage her and just let her know that this is a small chapter in our lives and we shouldn 't allow it to make us sleep - deprived or anxious . I think so . I don 't think I have aimed any of my comments at Shaunie in a negative light . From what I 've heard , she had tried to say things about me or about Matt or about our relationship in general that just aren 't nice . I just think it 's also very immature . For someone to be grown with five kids , I feel like she should have better things to do with her time . There were a few finer points mentioned during the reunion taping that I just wanted to touch briefly . I think Royce felt like you swindled her . She felt like you had created this bonds that included play dates and cake - tasting , stuff beyond normal association , stuff that went into the friendship realm . I think she took some of the things that the producers were trying to do with her and I and interpreted them as my idea . Play dates and cake - tasting were suggestions that the producers had brought to my attention because Royce and I were the only ones with young kids on the show . Then when they realized Royce can 't bring her son on the show and she can 't talk about Dwight , then things started to change . Not that I was opposed to these things because in the beginning I didn 't know Royce . I didn 't mind at first , but then after having talked to Matt and stepping back a little bit , it wasn 't a good look . I told Royce , " I don 't mind being cordial to you , but at the end of the day I have to worry about my family , Matt 's teams camaraderie , his team 's friendships and stuff like that . I 'm not going jeopardize his opportunity to get a championship ring , to come back next year for you . " I was just kind of explaining to her , " If you understand where I 'm going from , great , then we can have a mutual respect for one another and it wouldn 't go past that . " That might 've been more behind the scenes . Royce and I had a conversation after the pool party . She texted me and was just like , " Hey , I feel like I can 't trust anybody on the show , you might be the only person that 's just been real so can I call you ? " So we talked . I 'd given her my two cents about the girls : I didn 't particularly trust them , especially since Suzie was so new to the cast . I told Royce I 'd heard some interesting things about Suzie . I felt like at the time that she wasn 't a fabulous mother . I was just expressing my feelings as she was to me . Then she went back to Suzie : " Oh by the way , Gloria said this , this , and this to me . " I don 't have a nanny . I don 't have babysitters , not on a 9 - 5 basis , just if we 're doing a date night or an adult function . Matt 's best friend , Jeff , lives with us . He helps out but I don 't have a nanny per se . We don 't pay him to watch the boys . Oh no . My shoulder was dislocated a long time ago . I had shoulder surgery when I was a junior in high school and it pops out all the time . I didn 't go in there trying to hurt Royce , but in the episode you can see her trying to get aggressive so that 's what kind of turned the tables . We 'd only had gone two rounds . Maybe the third one would have really dictated who won . From what we fought , it was definitely even . You said you weren 't particularly proud of your association with these women and I assume the show . Is it weird talking about it ? Obviously you 've done interviews , and you 're doing an interview right now , arguably extending your association with the show . I don 't think so . People want to know and so I 'm going to tell them who I am and how I feel . I 'm definitely going to use the show as it used me . I 'm not going to deny and there weren 't any pros to doing the show . It has opened up many doors for Matt and I : clothing lines , foundations , events . But after that , the show and how it portrayed women makes me regret it because I might have helped portray women in a negative light . I was involved in it and these women , in my opinion , were very trashy , were very immature , were a crying train wreck . I didn 't want people to view us as just a mess , or think that all we do is shop . I didn 't want people to think that we live in apartments and we shop for Ferraris - that kind of thing . The exact thing I didn 't want to represent I helped make . That 's what 's frustrating . I thought Evelyn made a good point about blood ties during the so - called " last supper . " Do you think blood excuses everything ? I understand where you 're coming from with your sister , especially when it comes to dealing with virtual strangers , but do you think that blood should excuse everything ? There are definitely moral lines that you draw . If a relative was driving drunk and hit somebody , that 's just obvious . If the evidence is there , you side with the evidence . But emails aren 't enough evidence for me . What 's funny is that Evelyn wouldn 't believe that anyone could have set up my sister , and yet she says she 's being stalked and someone broke into her emails , stole her pictures , and put them online . Her attitude was , " What makes your sister so special to have her email be hacked ? " Well , here I am saying well what makes you so special ? I think Evelyn of all people should have taken a minute to step back and say , " OK wait a minute , this is happening to me . " She should acknowledge that it 's possible . When I mentioned that at the dinner , she had absolutely nothing to say . Given Matt 's career and where their men are I don 't think we 'll cross paths just because I haven 't crossed paths with these women before . But maybe there [ will be ] a day when we are all in the same state . You know we might be at some event , but again , it 'll just be a , " Hey , " but nothing more . It won 't be a hug or a kiss . It 'll just be an acknowledgment and that 's it . I won 't go out of my way but I will keep it cordial and respectful . It 's just too much energy to be all negative and nasty . I 'm not interested in doing Season 2 . If you do see me on Season 2 , it will be for the wedding which is max one or two episodes , but other than that , that 's kind of it . I wish these women all the best of luck . I 've used the show for what it 's used me for and I 'm done . Not to say I 'm the star of the show , but could you imagine the show without me ? Everyone would just be crying the whole time . The reunion show was hosted by Tanika , the same chick who hosted the For The Love Of Ray - J 2 reunion . I have nothing against her but I miss Lala Vasquez hosting these VH1 reunion shows . But anyway everyone was there except for Gloria ( not shocked ) she chose not to attend the reunion . I will post WHY she did not attend right after this blog post . They talked about each of the girls . All of them except for Gloria like Royce , Evelyn revealed that they are now investigating her stalker and those text messages . Jennifer is still with her husband Eric . The climax of the reunion show came with when Sandra a . k . a the groupie showed up and the audience booed at her lol and then she was talking about that she hosts parties , she is a single mother , a business basically trying to promote herself on THEIR reunion that 's how I saw it . She revealed she knew Eric ( Jennifer 's husband for a while ) and that she did not know that he was married until she saw his staus on his Facebook page . She said Eric 's marriuage to Jennifer is just " business " Then her , Suzie and Jennifer went back and forth at eachother . Jennifer called Sandra " delusional " and then Suzie walked off stage and came back with a bucket of water and threw it at her lol . She was pissed and storm off stage to beat her her ass I guess . Couple of weeks ago I posted an article about that . Suzie was arrested because of that and spent a day in jail . At the end Royce began sobbing that how close she became with these girls . The reunion was pretty good in my opinion . Tanika announced that season 2 starts in the fall Sonja called down Shay and Ryan for a short meeting to talks about their positions at the job . Sonja thinks that Shay has potential to become a manager as for Ryan he is up there . So Sonja took notes ans tries to step uo her game . Ray - J did an interview with Hip Hop weekly and told Ryan that Universal Records wants to make a deal with him . Ray - J is considering signing the contract with Universal Records . Meanwhile , Shay called up a dude for Brandy so she can produce a sitcom . Ryan being nosy as hell was listening at the door , which I think was rude . Shay met up with Brandy ans she got call from Ryan and he told her that she was going to work with Danga . Shay thinks that Ryan feels threatened by her which I agree . The only reason why all of a sudden he stepping up for Brandy is because Shay is stepping her game for Brandy . Ray - J wanted to tell his mom about the deal with Universal Records . She wasn 't feeling it . She wants Ray - J to finish the record first then do the deal . Shay had the meeting with the guy for Brandy then she met up with her again and told her about it . Brandy was impressed with Shay taking her job seriously . Brandy went to the studio with Danga and she enjoyed it they were experimenting . different beats . Ray - J sent up his family up for dinner because he has a special announcement to make . He arrived and he revealed that he said yes to the deal with Universal Studios despite of his mom saying no . She didn 't like it but she respect his decision . Then Rodeny Jerkins stopped by to talk about ray - J 's album . Brandy wanted to help out but Rodeny cut her out and told " you can come when the album is done " Brandy was pissed off about that . After that , Brandy had dinner with Tyrese and she told him about what happened with Rodney Jerkins . Tyrese thinks it 's not about Rodney its about Ray - J and the dynamic between them . Brandy agreed with him . At he end of episode Ray - J was having dinner with Universal Records to sign the contract . Brandy showed and apologized to Ray - J for what happened . Hulk Hogan made his way into VH1 with his show " Hogan Knows Best " about him and his family . The show lasted four seasons and it had a spin off called " Brooke Knows Best " which starred Brooke Hogan . He made appearances on that show . He is known for being overprotective when it comes to his daughter . Bret Michaels appeared on VH1 with his dating show Rock Of Love which lasted 3 seasons . VH1 recently aired a sneak peek of his new VH1 show called Bret Michaels : Life As I Know It about his girlfriend and his two daughters . The show officially premieres in the fall . Gary Maresca Real is best known for being a contestant on I Love New York along with his brother Chance . They bother also appeared on I Love Money and then their own dating called Real Chance Of Love which lasted two seasons . Real revealed that he has wife and a baby now . Episode 4 of The OCD Project aired Thursday night on VH1 . Here is what happened . This week the families of the patients came to visit them . Arine 's monther , Cody 's mother , Jerry 's sister , Kevin 's dad , Kristin 's brother and Traci 's mom and her son . They all had a one on one meeting with David Trolin . Arine reveals that her and her mother are withdrawn from eachother and David thinks that Kevin might have Aspergers Disorder . Then , David had an exercise with Traci and Kevin . They had Traci 's son and Kevin 's dad in a TV moniter checking their heart rate . Traci and Kevins think that with their bad thoughts something will happen to them . So David made them say stuff like " I wish you die " " Die Shawn " ect I could not even do that and I don 't even have OCD . I understand what they were going through . Davis also tested Jerry out . Jerry has thoughts of becoming a killer which is creepy so , so David made him hold a knife over his arm . His sister was terrify not knowing what he would do . Turns out he did not do anything . One part that really made no sense to me is when Arina , her mother and the woman with the glasses ( forgot her name ) ate pasties in the damn toilet . Who does that ? That is gross period having OCD or not that is just GROSS and not normal to me . I didn 't understand that . Meanwhile with Kristin , she got upset when her clothes were put into the washer without her permission and of course she threw a tantrum . But her brother calm her down . At the end of the episode threw yet another tantrum and wanted to go home , she called up her brother to pick her up but her brother refused to pick her up and told her to fight her OCD . at 66 % of you did NOT like the premiere of Bridal Bootcamp , whil 55 % of you did enjoy it . I thought the premiere was okay . The premise reminds of Celebrity Fit Club with losing weight and all .
|
He Tweets " Just booked 2 more episodes on the soap opera " All My Children " as the male orderly following an under 5 role in next few weeks . Viola ! JHR " Jessica Cimato , one of the breakout stars of " You 're Cut Off , " cosmically connected with Astrochicks today for a fun one on one interview . We wanted to get the inside scoop on the show and find out what our Sagittarius girl is all about . Jessica a princess from the Jersey Shore just like Snooki , originally thought she had been selected to appear on the show " The Good Life . " After flying out to Hollywood , the producers took our Jersey girl shopping and as fans saw in the first episode , Jessica 's credit card was declined . At that moment , Jess found out that VH1 had flipped the script and she had been cut off . Like a trooper , she decided to move forward with the show and finish the eight weeks of shooting . Although Jess was shocked by the living conditions of the house and bunking with 8 girls she said , " Really put me over the top . " No kidding , what a downer that pad was . What about her BFF 's ? Who did she bond with on the show ? Jessica says , " Chrissy we laughed a lot , and I 'm really close with Gia . " Who did she get along with the least ? She replied , " Most definitely Jackie , Erica and Pam . " Jess did add she gets along with the girls much better now , since they don 't have to live together anymore . Sharing a house with 8 spoiled girls has to be tough . Especially Sagittarius girls , they really need their space and freedom ! In episode three , Jessica came face to face with the " Queen of Mean , " Perez Hilton and Astrochicks was dying to find out what he was like in person . Jessica says , " I was initially intimidated by Perez . He says what others are thinking . In person , he 's actually very down to earth and nice . " Perez an Aries and Jess a Sag , naturally connected as fire signs . Nice to know that Perez is a cool guy . Next question was is she a reality show junkie like us ? Jessica says , " I love Real Housewives of New Jersey , Dina was my favorite up until she left . " What about Danielle Staub ? She says , " I can 't stand her , we have a local neighbor is who just like her , we even call her Danielle Staub to her face . " Jess added she has a secret crush on Albie Manzo as well . He 's definitely a cutie . What about boys , who is Jessica dating these days . She told us she 's single and ready to mingle . What astrological signs has she dated in the past ? She says , " A Capricorn which was a mistake , Libra another mistake and Scorpio definitely a mistake . " Interesting combo ? Does she follow Astrology ? Jessica says , " My best friend is a Leo and we are obsessed with Astrology . When we meet guys , we always ask his birth date . " What about her Capricorn guy , why didn 't the love connection work ? She says , " My Capricorn guy was hard headed , set in his ways , and very argumentative . We fought on all the time . " She went on to say although the Libra was charming and good looking , she thought he was too insecure . The Scorpio , way too intense and he loved to argue too much as well . Astrochicks thinks Jessica should give a Leo or an Aries a try , they would have passion , fun , and lots of laughs . Now that the show is airing , what does Jessica 's family and friends think about " You 're Cut Off ? " Does she feel that VH1 has portrayed her accurately ? Jessica told us every Monday night her friends come over to watch the show with her mom and her . They think it 's funny but like a good friend , they don 't hesitate to point out when they think Jessica was wrong . Also , she thinks the edit of her personality was 98 % accurate , although some clips made her cringe . Which brings us to the question everyone wants to know , does Jessica still live with her mom ? The answer is yes . Sadly , Jessica and her mom lost her father in January 2010 . Struggling with the loss of a man they love so much , the show has actually helped the two have a better understanding of each other . Jessica says , " After the show , I have a new appreciation of my mom . I love her even more , and I think she 's absolutely wonderful . She 's is the one person in my life I admire the most , her strength and her big heart . " Awww , that 's sweet ! In the end , what was Jessica 's best experience on the show and her worst ? Jessica reveals the best experience is yet to be aired . She says , " In the seventh episode VH1 will show my life changing moment . " What about the worst experience ? Jessica says , " In general , the different personalities that I had to deal with . " She added the arguing between the girls took a toll on her . Also , she upset many of the girls with her directness . She says , " Would you rather have me lie to you or be honest ? " Sagittarius girls love to tell it to you straight . What are Jessica 's plans for the future ? Does she have any entertainment career aspirations ? Jessica says , " I would love to do comedy . Stand up or Improv . I love SNL and would do anything to work for Lorne Michaels , I would even be the janitor , just to get my first big break . " Her favorite comedians are Vince Vaughn and Molly Shannon . She thinks Molly has great comedic timing and loves the characters she created for SNL . Vince Vaughn , well he 's a hottie and totally funny . Astrologically , Jessica Cimato definitely has the personality and passion to become a television personality . The next year should bring her new career opportunities and even a serious love interest . Just stay away from the Capricorn and Libra 's Jess ! I wonder what sign Albie Manzo is ? Don 't expect to watch You 're Cut Off tonight . The show was moved Monday nights which means episode 4 already aired this past Monday . Here is recap of what happened . This week was all about earning money . Laura Baron told the girls that will seek employment and get jobs which the girls did not like . Gia said " I am rich I do not need to work " . The girls had to work on that resumes . Most of them did had much to add into their resumes . Leanne did some volunteer work and Erica was in law school . Gia refused to do her resume . She did not want to kiss nobodys ass to get a job . For once I actually agree with her on that . I hate kissing people 's asses too . So she did not do anything . Then they had to go for an interview . Everyone did an interview except for Gia . During the inerviews , Erica said that she wants to be like Judge Judy and Nancy Grace but prettier that is what she said lol Chrissy being vain that she is says used her looks and hotness to get hired and did " her walk " . Jessica complained about how much she will get paid saying it was not worth it . The next day Laura had a surprise for them and that surprise was the girls had to go to work ! They all had to get up 7 : 30am . Everyone was ready except for Chrissy . She thinks people should be waiting on her . She says " everyone needs to be waiting for the star " So they left without her because she was taking her sweet time in the bathroom . Thy showed up in this shoe factory . They all had job positions . Jackie , Courtnee and Jessica has to do the phone calls , Leann and Pam has to do the envelopes , Gia and Amber had to carry boxes and look for shoes . Which Gia complained about and last but not least they gave Erica the manager position because she was in law school . Gia and Jessica were pissed abut that . Now this is when it started to become hilarious Erica annoyed everyone especially Jessica and Gia telling them what they should do / checking up on them and they were not happy . Erica told Jessica that she wasn 't doing a good job talking to customers on the phone . Gia told her that " you are not manager " and was pissed off that Erica was looking at her . I felt like Erica purposely tried to piss them off . She kept saying " I am in law school " like a thousand times trying to annoy them . Erica told the guy that Gia was being disrespectful . Then Gia quit because of her . They all received their checks of $ 70 which they felt they should received a whole lot more than $ 70 . Once they got home Laura had a special treat for them in the backyard to relax . They had massages , spray tanning ect . They had to use their check for it . Then Chrissy came thinks that she could join them . But she wasn 't aloud because she did not work and did not receive a check and then she said " you guys are haters , you guys are just jealous " and she stormed off . Erica was talking to Leanne about Gia and Jessica which they heard her talking about them . So they went to her room telling her to shut up . Larua Baron pulled Jessica aside to find out what was going on with her . Jessica revealed that her father dies of blood clots and that her personality changed after his death . Which i felt really bad for her . At the end of the episode , everyone passed except Chrissy ( not shocked ) and Gia . Erica won V . I . P which left Gia really pissed off . She began to cry and freak out and she stormed off outside wanting to quite the program . The finale of Brandy and Ray - J : A Family Business aired Sunday night . In the finale the whole family went to Mississippi for a family reunion . Brandy and Ray - J were born there before they moved to L . A . They went to Sonja 's sister house . Brandy and Ray - J went bike riding which they did when they were younger . They stopped to take pictures and sign autographs from fans as well . Meanwhile Sonja was fed up with everyone telling her what do do . She felt underappreciated . She had a talk with Ray - J at the lake and she says that she wants to be more appreaciated . She also says that they are like any ordinary family that has ups and downs . Brandy and Ray - J also went to a crawfish shop . There was this chick that told Ray - J " Here is my future baby daddy " LOL which was hilarious . Brandy also went food shopping with Sonja and Shay for the family reunion . Brandy and shay both goof off at the store . At the end of the episode Willie sang a song to his wife . That dude can sing ! He showed his dedication to her which was sweet . Watching this show made me see how normal the Norwood family really are . Terrel Owens is back ! The . T . O Show is back for a 2nd season . Watch the supertrailer for the new season which will be premiering July 11th . This season will bring even more drama when he rekindles an old flamae and takes on being a father . Featuring the single ' Nothing To Lose ' ( with Miley Cyrus ) , a remake of Sublime 's hit song ' What I Got ' , a rootsy version of ' Every Rose Has It 's Thorn ' , the theme song to the upcoming VH1 show " Bret Michaels : Life As I Know It " titled ' Riding Against The Wind ' and much more ! The new album will be available from Target , Best Buy , iTunes , Yahoo , Napster & anywhere else you buy digital music ! Buy a copy here I just want to remind you all that You 're Cut Off ans Dad camp will be switching time slots . Why ? I don 't know maybe VH1 wants more people to tune in to watch You ' r Cut Off on Monday nights . Which is a good thing . They all had a group meeting with David and David revealed the performance scores . Everyone went down since being there , except for Kevin . He increased which isn 't good . He was pissed off about it . David revealed to them that there will be going to a haunted hospital which one of the highest death rated . Each patient had a session with David in the hospital . David took Cody into this room that had writing in the wall since he was afraid of becoming someone else . He then took Traci into a morgue . He a picture of her son and she had to put his picture inside as morgue . She was terrified since her fear was death . But she did it . With Arine he took her tot he hallway and on the floor I don 't know what it was but it looked drops of blood and he made her touch it and rubbed it around her clothes and face . Kevin was the most difficult one . He took him into this room and had to perform a hex . He had to reapeat " I want to got he hell " over and over . Once David , Kevin then said " I didn 't mean it " and he messed on that . David made him go back and made him undo it , Which raised a lot of concerns if this was the right program for Kevin . David made Jerry take his knife and used Arine as bait to see if he had urges to kill her ( yeah creepy ) he did not do thing , which was a good thing . Oh yeah Jerry withdrawn from everyone for 2 + hours . Without speaking . If you are a fan of VH1 's I Love Money and ABC 's The Bachelor / Bachelorette . Than this is the show for you ! ABC is coming up with their own " I Love Money " called The Bachalor Pad which features contestants from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette from previous seasons . Nineteen former Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants will live in a house and compete in challenges for a cash prize of , ironically enough , $ 250 , 000 . The show will be hosted by Chris Harrison and Melissa Rycroft , and Jake Pavelka will also be involved . It premieres August 9th , check out the cast ! Check out the cast Today , a year ago , the legend , Michael Jackson was found unconscious in bed at his rented mansion at 100 North Carolwood Drive in the Holmby Hills district of Los Angeles . Attempts at resuscitating him by Conrad Murray , his personal physician , were unsuccessful . He was pronounced dead at 2 : 26 local time ( 21 : 26 UTC ) We shall remember Michael forever ; for his music ; Michael , who has brought us unforgettable timeless classics like Thriller , Billie Jean , Beat It , Man in the Mirror , The Way You Make Me Feel , and much , much more . One hit album after another , Michael helped shape the face of pop culture and music we are all living today . He has inspired many and is still inspiring and will always keep inspiring . He always gave without wanting to receive , he always wanted to help humanity . The true and will always be ; The King - of - Pop . Michael Jackson have 14 # 1 Singles and 6 # 1 Albums , according to Billboard . His best selling album , " Thriller " , has sold about 110 , 000 , 000 copies worldwide , and is certificated 29X Platinum in the US for 29 , 000 , 000 copies sold , making it the best - selling album of all time . - estimated sale of over 800 million records worldwide . - Jackson won hundreds of awards , which have made him the most - awarded recording artist in the history of music . He was also a notable humanitarian and philanthropist , donating and raising hundreds of millions of dollars for beneficial causes and supporting over 39 charities . LegacyJackson throughout his career transformed the art of the music video and paved the way for modern pop music . Daily Telegraph writer Tom Utley described Jackson in 2003 as " extremely important " and a " genius . " For much of his career , he had an " unparalleled " level of worldwide influence over the younger generation through his musical and humanitarian contributions . Jackson 's music and videos , such as Thriller , fostered racial diversity in MTV 's roster , helped to put the relatively new channel into public awareness , and steered the channel 's focus from rock to pop music and R & B , shaping the channel into a form that proved enduring . Jackson 's work continues to influence numerous hip hop , rock , pop and R & B artists , including Beyoncé , Mariah Carey , Usher , Green Day , Britney Spears , Madonna , Justin Timberlake , Ludacris . I recently did an interview with Jessica Cimato from You 're Cut Off . In this interview we discussed her experience on the show , what she thinks about some of the girls on the show such as Erica . She also explains why she was pissed when Jackie won V . I . P she also tells us her favorite guest on the show . Jessica : I was super mad , cause I felt like she was really disrespectful throwing the pop corn around like a 5 year old , then the night before she was in a fight . . Why were those grounds for VIP ? Still ticks me off ! Vh1access : Now what are your thoughts on Erica ? She said that you were trash on the previous episode that aired last night . Jessica : haha Erica - its pretty clear on my thoughts about erica ! She 's clueless about most and her defense is personal attacks . She referred to me as trash when I FELL . . But she didn 't look like trash running around the house naked our first night ? Or look like trash deep throating a wine glass ? Or look like trash giving free vag shots on the runway in front of perez ? ? Enough said ! What do I know anyway ? I am trash . . Haha Jessica : Its obviously not normal for a mother to not change her daughter diaper . Or to wake up to feed her . I 'd never do that but people are different . I don 't have anything to say in her defense . . Other then I hope she gets it together ! VH1access : So far Omarosa and Perez Hilton guest starred on the show and we will see Michelle Williams from Destiny 's Child as well . Who was your favorite guest ? Jessica : my favorite was deff . Perez Hilton . . Common he is the " queen of mean " and said my team looked money and didn 't rip us head to toe . I love him for that ! Jessica : she is a wonderful person ! Wants to see us be all that we can . . Reach our full potential ! I have a great deal of respect for her ! Jessica : I hope sooo ! ! I don 't know at this point . I guess we will see how america takes to the remaining episodes . . If people are addicted , and can 't get enough ! Then maybe ! ! ! I sure hope ! VH1access : Do people recognize you now since doing You 're Cut Off ? Jessica : Haha some times . I was out getting lunch yesterday with my bff , and they girl taking our order was like " your Jess from TV right ? I was like " wellll helllooo , yes ! That is I " haha . I get it sometimes . Not often ! Jessica : iv ' e been good I guess . Definitely look at people and things differently . I have a whole new outlook for people and things around me ! Jessica : thank you ! My pleasure ! And I wanna give a shout to my family , friends and what few fans I have ! Thanks for all your support ! ! ! Couple of months ago mediatakeout . com posted that Flavor of love 2 contestant was now we now a web cam girl . Well now VH1stars . com posted her myspace . com status claiming that is a lesbian . However there is a pic of her with a dude in bed together . Hmmmmm is the lesbian thing just for attention ? who knows . The show will be about Lala preparing for her wedding . It will be five part series . Four half an hour episodes and then the one hour Wedding finale . R & B singer Ciara is one the celebrities that will be making an appearance on the upcoming show . Bridal Bootcamp - Episode 3 Recap Episode 3 of Bridal Bootcamp aired last night on VH1 . Here is what happened . The blue team did a morning workout . Tesha was not in the mood to do the workout , she revealed to Steven that she was homesick and missed her family . This weeks challenge the teams had to sail a boat putting a mattress in a raft . The green team had so much trouble their boat flipped and everyone was in the water except for Courtney which she did not do anything to help . Her team mates was pissed off with her . The blue team ended up winning and their prize was a free honeymoon . So elimination came for the green team . Turns out Lauren gained two pounds this week . She was sobbing and crying about it . The bottom two was between Lauren and Melissa . Lauren was eliminated . Kacey was pissed off about that and wanted Courtney to go home . To me I feel like this show is so rushed . It 's only 30 min . they do the challenge , the elimination and then the show is over . This show seems too plain to me . ( my personal opinion ) Episode 3 of You 're Cut Off aired last night on VH1 . Here is what happened . Last week Jackie won V . I . P so this week she was in charge assigning the girls chores . Jessica , Chrissy and Gia were still in bed and did not do their chores , which left Jackie pissed off . This weeks challenge was a fashion show . Laura Baron wanted he girls to know that they do not have spend so much money on stuff to look great . Sam Saboura was one of the this weeks guest stars . He asked the girls how much they spend on their purses and clothes . Chrissy , not even paying attention was looking at her mirror throughout the whole time Sam was talking and was rude to him as well . He tested them out by guessing what is expensive and what is cheap they had the male models bing out clothes , jewelry and champagne . He assigned them into groups of three with a male model and they had to shop at discounts which Jessica said " ew " LOL . The groups were : Pam , Erica and Amber in Team 1 . Chrissy , Leanne and Jackie in Team 2 and Gia , Courtnee and Jessica in Team 3 . Perez Hilton was one of the judges . The first team came out and Erica slipped and her crotch was ecposed lol . The team that won was Team 3 which was Jessica , Gia and Courtnee . The judges thought Team 2 looked too cheap which Chrissy was pissed about . Back home Laura left them another note which said their budgetw as lowered about Gia , Jessica and Chirssy did not do their chores . So Jackie , Jessica . Leamme went food shopping with a budget of 125 dollars . There was also a lot of drama this week with Erica and Jessica . Jessica was drunk and slipped in the kitchen and Erica called trashy by saying " I hate trashy people " which Jessica was pissed off about . Everyone was against Erica , Leanne called her a " laughing stock " int he house . Erica called her fat and that she needed botox . Later she apologized and Leanne revealed that that comment hurt her because she had a disorder . At the end of the episode everyone passed except for Chrissy , Jessica and Erica . Chrissy was once again rude . She put on lip gloss and was looking in the mirror while Laura was speaking . She then said " Can I Be Excused " Honestly I do not think that Chrissy is going to make it to graduation . Jessica was pissed off that she did not pass this week . NOTE : I am going to be doing an interview with Jessica . The interview should be up soon . You 're Cut Off is now going to air Mondays at 9 : PM starting June 28th . There is a video that worldstarhiphop . com posted of IT from I Lovew York 2 and I Love Money . In the video he is with hood buddies and they claim that they jacked Soulja Boy . They also do some freestyle . I am still not feeling Dad Camp but VH1 . com posted somethign interesting . Apparently Lindsay Lohan is a fan of Dad Camp and posted tweets . She wants to contact Benny who was one of the kids that appeared on the recent episode . Today Isaw something interesting . I was watching the CW and Maury was on . Well I was watching the show and saw two familiar people . Stacks from For The Love Of ray - J and Fransico from Megan Wants A Millionaire were on ! They were both on Maury which to me was very ironic since both of them came from VH1 dating shows and very random seeing them there and its funny because I do not watch Maury everyday , it just so happens today I catch an episode . The topic was " Secret Crush Fantasies " . There was a guy name Ray Lavender , yes another thing that is ironic she competed her love for Ray - J . Same name lol anyway he had a secret crush on her . When she found out she was happy about it . Then after that Fransico came out and his secret crush was a blonde swimsuit model , which is ironic because he competed his love for a blonde which was Megan until the show was canceled , But the funny part was he wasn 't feeling her ! He made up excuses and said " I don 't want to jeopardize are friendship " that is a polite way of saying I am not feeling you lol The audience began to boo . I just thought it was weird seeing not one but two VH1 people from a VH1 dating show on Maury on the same episode . FYI : Saaphryi appeared on The Tyra Banks show before she Flavor Of love 2 . Junk from Real Chance of love 2 wants to be nominated for MTV TJ . Which is like a Twitter MTV VJ . You get a 100 , 000 salary , grant celebrity event access such as red carpet . There are two spots left to join , so vote for Junk . These two have been going at it ever since Hot Wings posted a youtube video mocking Kat Stacks . flavaflav . net has posted pics of Hot Wings knocking out Kat Stacks at a DC outside a club recently . Check it out . Brandy is planing to use her VH1 reality show to return to the charts . thatgrapejuice . net is reporting that The Dream has confirmed that Brandy has sign on the label . Other artists include Rihanna and Kanye West also signed with the label . Gia from You 're Cut Off is co - hosting the BET Awards Kick off Party a Kress . She will be hosting with Destiny 's Child ex - member Farrah Franklin . from 9 : PM - 2 : AM . It just wasn 't something that was conducive to our schedules . You know , Matt was in the playoffs and I wasn 't going to fly across the country to hang out with people I 'm not particularly proud of probably being associated with . I told producers that if they moved it to Orlando or Miami I would be more than happy to be there . I 'm sure without me being there , there wasn 't anybody to pick on . I kind of heard it was a mess . That wasn 't exactly my intention , to be like , " Ha , check this out ! It 's going to be a disaster without me . " It wasn 't worth me going out there . I am not interested on being on Season 2 , so that was another reason . It would 've been a mess really , because I would 've gone out there and had a lot more to say . I didn 't watch the series . I didn 't watch Basketball Wives , but from what I heard and the little bits and parts I did see , which was probably a total of 15 minutes of all the episodes , I just wasn 't proud of it . I wouldn 't say I regret it 100 percent , but I was surprised and disappointed in how they edited the series and how they portrayed the women . Not necessarily . I think people are going to make up their minds regardless if I was there or not . I think being there would have opened up the flood ates to allow people to nitpick at what I have going on and ask me more detailed questions that I 'm not willing to answer . I know people are going to talk about me whether I 'm there or not . Had I liked to defend myself ? Yeah , probably , but it probably would 've gotten ugly . Not physical , but definitely ugly . I would laugh . I just kind of that 's funny . I 'm definitely by no means scared of any of these girls . If the reunion were held closer to me , especially while Matt was in the playoffs , I probably would 've attended , but going across country and missing one of Matt 's games … it wasn 't that important to me . Yeah , I was kind of whatever , because I 'm kind of whatever to the second season . At this point , none of that really bothers me with the contractual obligations . So it didn 't really affect my decision whether I had to go or not . I think I 'm just kind of over it . I 've done Season 1 . Again , I 'm not particular proud of how it came off , but I do think I was real . I portrayed myself as real as I could while the cameras were shooting . What they do with the film after the cameras were off I have no control over . I don 't think I gave them a lot of opportunities to make me look stupid . I think I 'm my biggest critic , so the few parts I did see I wasn 't particularly happy about . I know the real things I said about the situations , about Royce , about Suzie , about Evelyn , about all the women and to see that cut down , or edited or nitpicked was a little frustrating . Again , I haven 't seen the whole series , but I 'm just not happy with the overall production . I just don 't think it portrayed what I wanted to represent . Not really , because you 've been there , you 've done that so you 've lived what people are watching . You know what went on . To see it cut down , edited , mixed up is kind of frustrating because it 's like , " Wait a minute , that 's not what I said . That 's not how that happened . " Matt and I both agreed not to watch it when he was in season , because a lot of distractions and unnecessary quarrels would 've been brought up . I know that he needed to concentrate and I respected that he just felt like it wasn 't necessary to watch until the end of the season . I think he has gone back and forth with them . I don 't have a Twitter account that I have used in a long time . I don 't follow them , they don 't follow me so it would 've been pointless to get involved . Mainly , I told Matt don 't waste his time . They 're just unnecessary . They 're not a factor in our lives , to entertain ignorance belittles you and brings you down to their level . Part of me was proud of him , though . I was kind of excited . I was glad that he stood up to them . He protected me in a sense . I was excited for that , but I also told him it was probably a waste of time . I would agree with the puppets statement . I definitely think these women are highly and heavily influenced by Shaunie , sometimes for the negative . I feel like Shaunie is the new Simon . Its kind of like , " Shaunie says we should do this , " " Shaunie says we should do that . " It was kind of like , wow , these women are grown women and supposed entrepreneurs . You would think they would be able to make up their own minds and establish avenues with their own judgments . At what point to do you say , " Hey listen , regardless of what Shaunie says , I don 't like Gloria or I like Royce for me , not because someone is telling me to do this " ? Surprisingly , I 'm on good terms with Suzie . Suzie and I have BBMed each other throughout the series . A lot of the stuff that was said or portrayed on the show , we 've actually apologized to each other about . There have been some times when Suzie has BBMed me and been down in the dumps about some of the episodes she was worried about . I tried to encourage her and just let her know that this is a small chapter in our lives and we shouldn 't allow it to make us sleep - deprived or anxious . I think so . I don 't think I have aimed any of my comments at Shaunie in a negative light . From what I 've heard , she had tried to say things about me or about Matt or about our relationship in general that just aren 't nice . I just think it 's also very immature . For someone to be grown with five kids , I feel like she should have better things to do with her time . There were a few finer points mentioned during the reunion taping that I just wanted to touch briefly . I think Royce felt like you swindled her . She felt like you had created this bonds that included play dates and cake - tasting , stuff beyond normal association , stuff that went into the friendship realm . I think she took some of the things that the producers were trying to do with her and I and interpreted them as my idea . Play dates and cake - tasting were suggestions that the producers had brought to my attention because Royce and I were the only ones with young kids on the show . Then when they realized Royce can 't bring her son on the show and she can 't talk about Dwight , then things started to change . Not that I was opposed to these things because in the beginning I didn 't know Royce . I didn 't mind at first , but then after having talked to Matt and stepping back a little bit , it wasn 't a good look . I told Royce , " I don 't mind being cordial to you , but at the end of the day I have to worry about my family , Matt 's teams camaraderie , his team 's friendships and stuff like that . I 'm not going jeopardize his opportunity to get a championship ring , to come back next year for you . " I was just kind of explaining to her , " If you understand where I 'm going from , great , then we can have a mutual respect for one another and it wouldn 't go past that . " That might 've been more behind the scenes . Royce and I had a conversation after the pool party . She texted me and was just like , " Hey , I feel like I can 't trust anybody on the show , you might be the only person that 's just been real so can I call you ? " So we talked . I 'd given her my two cents about the girls : I didn 't particularly trust them , especially since Suzie was so new to the cast . I told Royce I 'd heard some interesting things about Suzie . I felt like at the time that she wasn 't a fabulous mother . I was just expressing my feelings as she was to me . Then she went back to Suzie : " Oh by the way , Gloria said this , this , and this to me . " I don 't have a nanny . I don 't have babysitters , not on a 9 - 5 basis , just if we 're doing a date night or an adult function . Matt 's best friend , Jeff , lives with us . He helps out but I don 't have a nanny per se . We don 't pay him to watch the boys . Oh no . My shoulder was dislocated a long time ago . I had shoulder surgery when I was a junior in high school and it pops out all the time . I didn 't go in there trying to hurt Royce , but in the episode you can see her trying to get aggressive so that 's what kind of turned the tables . We 'd only had gone two rounds . Maybe the third one would have really dictated who won . From what we fought , it was definitely even . You said you weren 't particularly proud of your association with these women and I assume the show . Is it weird talking about it ? Obviously you 've done interviews , and you 're doing an interview right now , arguably extending your association with the show . I don 't think so . People want to know and so I 'm going to tell them who I am and how I feel . I 'm definitely going to use the show as it used me . I 'm not going to deny and there weren 't any pros to doing the show . It has opened up many doors for Matt and I : clothing lines , foundations , events . But after that , the show and how it portrayed women makes me regret it because I might have helped portray women in a negative light . I was involved in it and these women , in my opinion , were very trashy , were very immature , were a crying train wreck . I didn 't want people to view us as just a mess , or think that all we do is shop . I didn 't want people to think that we live in apartments and we shop for Ferraris - that kind of thing . The exact thing I didn 't want to represent I helped make . That 's what 's frustrating . I thought Evelyn made a good point about blood ties during the so - called " last supper . " Do you think blood excuses everything ? I understand where you 're coming from with your sister , especially when it comes to dealing with virtual strangers , but do you think that blood should excuse everything ? There are definitely moral lines that you draw . If a relative was driving drunk and hit somebody , that 's just obvious . If the evidence is there , you side with the evidence . But emails aren 't enough evidence for me . What 's funny is that Evelyn wouldn 't believe that anyone could have set up my sister , and yet she says she 's being stalked and someone broke into her emails , stole her pictures , and put them online . Her attitude was , " What makes your sister so special to have her email be hacked ? " Well , here I am saying well what makes you so special ? I think Evelyn of all people should have taken a minute to step back and say , " OK wait a minute , this is happening to me . " She should acknowledge that it 's possible . When I mentioned that at the dinner , she had absolutely nothing to say . Given Matt 's career and where their men are I don 't think we 'll cross paths just because I haven 't crossed paths with these women before . But maybe there [ will be ] a day when we are all in the same state . You know we might be at some event , but again , it 'll just be a , " Hey , " but nothing more . It won 't be a hug or a kiss . It 'll just be an acknowledgment and that 's it . I won 't go out of my way but I will keep it cordial and respectful . It 's just too much energy to be all negative and nasty . I 'm not interested in doing Season 2 . If you do see me on Season 2 , it will be for the wedding which is max one or two episodes , but other than that , that 's kind of it . I wish these women all the best of luck . I 've used the show for what it 's used me for and I 'm done . Not to say I 'm the star of the show , but could you imagine the show without me ? Everyone would just be crying the whole time . The reunion show was hosted by Tanika , the same chick who hosted the For The Love Of Ray - J 2 reunion . I have nothing against her but I miss Lala Vasquez hosting these VH1 reunion shows . But anyway everyone was there except for Gloria ( not shocked ) she chose not to attend the reunion . I will post WHY she did not attend right after this blog post . They talked about each of the girls . All of them except for Gloria like Royce , Evelyn revealed that they are now investigating her stalker and those text messages . Jennifer is still with her husband Eric . The climax of the reunion show came with when Sandra a . k . a the groupie showed up and the audience booed at her lol and then she was talking about that she hosts parties , she is a single mother , a business basically trying to promote herself on THEIR reunion that 's how I saw it . She revealed she knew Eric ( Jennifer 's husband for a while ) and that she did not know that he was married until she saw his staus on his Facebook page . She said Eric 's marriuage to Jennifer is just " business " Then her , Suzie and Jennifer went back and forth at eachother . Jennifer called Sandra " delusional " and then Suzie walked off stage and came back with a bucket of water and threw it at her lol . She was pissed and storm off stage to beat her her ass I guess . Couple of weeks ago I posted an article about that . Suzie was arrested because of that and spent a day in jail . At the end Royce began sobbing that how close she became with these girls . The reunion was pretty good in my opinion . Tanika announced that season 2 starts in the fall Sonja called down Shay and Ryan for a short meeting to talks about their positions at the job . Sonja thinks that Shay has potential to become a manager as for Ryan he is up there . So Sonja took notes ans tries to step uo her game . Ray - J did an interview with Hip Hop weekly and told Ryan that Universal Records wants to make a deal with him . Ray - J is considering signing the contract with Universal Records . Meanwhile , Shay called up a dude for Brandy so she can produce a sitcom . Ryan being nosy as hell was listening at the door , which I think was rude . Shay met up with Brandy ans she got call from Ryan and he told her that she was going to work with Danga . Shay thinks that Ryan feels threatened by her which I agree . The only reason why all of a sudden he stepping up for Brandy is because Shay is stepping her game for Brandy . Ray - J wanted to tell his mom about the deal with Universal Records . She wasn 't feeling it . She wants Ray - J to finish the record first then do the deal . Shay had the meeting with the guy for Brandy then she met up with her again and told her about it . Brandy was impressed with Shay taking her job seriously . Brandy went to the studio with Danga and she enjoyed it they were experimenting . different beats . Ray - J sent up his family up for dinner because he has a special announcement to make . He arrived and he revealed that he said yes to the deal with Universal Studios despite of his mom saying no . She didn 't like it but she respect his decision . Then Rodeny Jerkins stopped by to talk about ray - J 's album . Brandy wanted to help out but Rodeny cut her out and told " you can come when the album is done " Brandy was pissed off about that . After that , Brandy had dinner with Tyrese and she told him about what happened with Rodney Jerkins . Tyrese thinks it 's not about Rodney its about Ray - J and the dynamic between them . Brandy agreed with him . At he end of episode Ray - J was having dinner with Universal Records to sign the contract . Brandy showed and apologized to Ray - J for what happened . Hulk Hogan made his way into VH1 with his show " Hogan Knows Best " about him and his family . The show lasted four seasons and it had a spin off called " Brooke Knows Best " which starred Brooke Hogan . He made appearances on that show . He is known for being overprotective when it comes to his daughter . Bret Michaels appeared on VH1 with his dating show Rock Of Love which lasted 3 seasons . VH1 recently aired a sneak peek of his new VH1 show called Bret Michaels : Life As I Know It about his girlfriend and his two daughters . The show officially premieres in the fall . Gary Maresca Real is best known for being a contestant on I Love New York along with his brother Chance . They bother also appeared on I Love Money and then their own dating called Real Chance Of Love which lasted two seasons . Real revealed that he has wife and a baby now . Episode 4 of The OCD Project aired Thursday night on VH1 . Here is what happened . This week the families of the patients came to visit them . Arine 's monther , Cody 's mother , Jerry 's sister , Kevin 's dad , Kristin 's brother and Traci 's mom and her son . They all had a one on one meeting with David Trolin . Arine reveals that her and her mother are withdrawn from eachother and David thinks that Kevin might have Aspergers Disorder . Then , David had an exercise with Traci and Kevin . They had Traci 's son and Kevin 's dad in a TV moniter checking their heart rate . Traci and Kevins think that with their bad thoughts something will happen to them . So David made them say stuff like " I wish you die " " Die Shawn " ect I could not even do that and I don 't even have OCD . I understand what they were going through . Davis also tested Jerry out . Jerry has thoughts of becoming a killer which is creepy so , so David made him hold a knife over his arm . His sister was terrify not knowing what he would do . Turns out he did not do anything . One part that really made no sense to me is when Arina , her mother and the woman with the glasses ( forgot her name ) ate pasties in the damn toilet . Who does that ? That is gross period having OCD or not that is just GROSS and not normal to me . I didn 't understand that . Meanwhile with Kristin , she got upset when her clothes were put into the washer without her permission and of course she threw a tantrum . But her brother calm her down . At the end of the episode threw yet another tantrum and wanted to go home , she called up her brother to pick her up but her brother refused to pick her up and told her to fight her OCD . at 66 % of you did NOT like the premiere of Bridal Bootcamp , whil 55 % of you did enjoy it . I thought the premiere was okay . The premise reminds of Celebrity Fit Club with losing weight and all .
|
I 'm using my wheelchair again today . I don 't think it 's so much the Dystonia as it is the Degenerative Disc and the arthritis in my tailbone . I don 't think the DDS would be bothering me except for the spasms I have in my back that feels like the muscles are putting a squeeze on my spine . It hurts when it does that . I 've been having the ' birth through the ribcage ' spasms again and pretty frequently . I guess I need to talk to Dr . Abijay about upping dosage on my Benztropine again . I hate that my body seems to adjust to the meds so fast . What 's going to happen when I have the Benz maxed out and I still spasm ? I spasmed really bad yesterday evening and of course I had 5 out of 6 dogs follow me to the heating pad . Sofie attacked me as soon as I laid down , with kisses and nips on my nose . So did Scruffy . When they do that I feel like they are trying to tell me that they will help me through it . I did get an invite to a Dystonia support group in Abilene , there isn 't one closer . I can 't make the Abilene meetings tho . I 'd love to have a support group but I think I 'd be the only one in the group in this area . LOL We got our new recliners in . They both massage and heat , unfortunately , my cord was not included so I have to wait till they ship one from the factory . I 've been stealing time in Craig 's . Which is where I 'm heading now . Oh yea , the DMRF released it 's 2011 annual report . I really appreciate everything this group does to not only fund research towards new treatments and maybe someday a cure but also their work in raising awareness for a disorder that not that many have even heard of . The people involved are wonderful ! I 'm posting a link to the report . I 'd also like to thank my friends in Evony and my family and friends on FB for giving me something to laugh about even on bad days . I love and appreciate each one of you . Share this : FacebookEmailMorePrintLike this : Like Loading . . . Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment » Catching up May 14 , 2012 by munchkin1159 I know it 's been a bit since I posted but there isn 't much going on . We 've had a lot of badly needed rain lately . I don 't mind the rain even tho it does turn our yard into a muddy mess and the dogs track mud in , Craig 's barbeque grill was stuck in a lake for a while … it was in our back yard . I DO mind the thunder and lightning . AND , I definitely did not want or need that small tornado we had last week . All I could think of while sitting in the closet was * there goes our new house * . We came thru with no injuries and no damage except to my nerves . That was the 3rd tornado I 've been thru in my lifetime . It 's enough ! Today I 'm wheelchair bound from back ( both sides of my spine ) spasms that hit at 3am . The spasms didn 't hurt but it felt like they were crushing my spine , not a good feeling . These spasms are kind of strange feeling . It feels like , I know this is going to sound weirdly gross , but , it feels like something is crawling under my skin . I can actually feel the muscles bunching up , I 'm hoping things will ease up in a bit and I can stop using the chair . Even tho we do have more space for me to move around it 's still a pain to use it and I hate having to use it anyway . I planted 2 tomato plants , 2 jalapeno plants , a blue bonnet for Craig , and 2 herb plants in a huge pot right after we moved in . The first set of storms destroyed 1 of each . This last pass knocked all the blooms off my tomato plant so needless to say I 'm a bit heart broke , hopefully it will re - bloom and I 'll still be able to have fresh tomatoes ! I can 't wait till we get everything set up so I can have a garden both veggies and herbs . I 'd like a couple of trees , grass , flowers … just in general a nice yard . It 'll happen just not as fast as I 'd like . Decks and ramps come first . I 've thought about sending pics of the yard to DIY network 's Desperate Landscapes , they 'd probably say the yard is too desperate for even them ! LOL . You know I like it when people comment on this blog and constructive criticism is always appreciated , but , I don 't want or need anyone trying to get me to use this or that program , app or search engine that will supposedly increase my reader base . I post on Yahoo ! Updates AND on Facebook and if people want to read my blog they will , if they don 't it doesn 't bother me . It 's their choice . What it boils down to … I like my blog the way I blog it , I 'm not gonna have a hissy fit if 99 % of the world 's population doesn 't read it . So take your programs , apps and search engines and peddle them somewhere else . Thank you ! I have a personal assistant app on my cell phone . I 've named her Kira . I can talk to her and ask questions , check weather etc . The other day I was bored and goofing off with her and asked " Why did the chicken cross the road " expecting the usual " to get to the other side " answer . Kira answered " It 's Chuck Norris ' chicken . She can do whatever she wants . " LOL I 'm still waiting for the answer to " which came first , the chicken or the egg ? " . Kira 's told me she needs to look into that one . I 'll let you know what she says IF she ever does say anything on it . LOL April 5 , 2012 by munchkin1159 This will probably be fairly short since I 'm a bit depressed and so not in a good mood . A few days ago I had a sudden pain hit in my upper right side . Craig took me in to see Dr . Garcia and he ordered blood test and a CT scan . We thought it might be my Hepatitis C kicking in , it 's been really quiet for a long time . I went back today to get the results … all the tests and CT scan were normal … except my blood sugar was high . He diagnosed me with Type 2 Diabetes . To be totally honest I DID expect to be diagnosed with it eventually since my Granny was diabetic and I 'm a lot like her . So , why it hit me so hard , I don 't know . I guess I might be feeling a bit guilty since I knew I was a candidate and still didn 't watch my diet very well . Maybe I wouldn 't have diabetes if I had . Let 's face it , I went the first 30 or so years of my life not HAVING to watch my diet . I couldn 't gain an ounce no matter what I tried so I got used to eating whatever I wanted . Then , when the weight started going up and up I was still at a loss . IF I had started way back then would I have diabetes now ? Remember my post about me taking on all the illnesses before I came to Earth ? Well , I think I must have hit on the D 's ! Ok , yea , I have a few that are not D 's but so far D 's are in the majority . Here 's a list : Asthma , Arthritis ( where I had Scoliosis surgery ) , Hepatitis C , Degenerative Disc Disease , Dystonia , Low Blood Pressure , and the new kid on the block … Diabetes , and the previously mentioned Scoliosis . I guess today I just found it all so very overwhelming , but I know God only gives us what He knows we can handle . I know that given a little bit of time I 'll get it all in perspective and learn to live with this new addition with something close to a sense of humor . Just , today , I keep asking " What next ? " Not that I REALLY want to know the answer to that . By the way , we did finally get moved into the new house and we 're loving it . Our allergies are a bit better and will get even more better once we actually have grass in the yard . Right now it 's dust and of course Harley has to have a roll in it before he comes in the house and shakes it off . Dusting and sweeping are almost a 24 hr job around here . The dogs all like it since there is more room for them , I think they think we bought it just for them ! IttyBitty learned a very hard lesson a couple of weeks ago . He kept getting in Harley 's face and Harley would warn him but Bits wouldn 't listen . Harley finally had enough and got Bits . At first we only saw a bit of fur missing and he wouldn 't let us touch him . We thought it wasn 't bad . The next day Chloe started cleaning on Bits and I went over to make her stop , I call her Angel Girl for a reason . Bit 's was hurt worse than we thought . We took him in to see Dr . Becky and she kept him overnight and stitched him up , almost shoulder to shoulder . He 's been on antibiotics and we 've had to wash the wound every night but it 's healing . We thought he 'd get the stitches out today but she wants to hold off another week on it , more bathing for him and an antibiotic cream to go on it . She estimated his age at 7 - 8 years , I knew he wasn 't as young as what we 've been told by previous owners . He 's got grey hair popping out here and there . He and Sofie have really buddied up . I guess because she 's close to him in size . When we first brought Bits back from the vet 's she wouldn 't let the other dogs near him . She 's eased up on her gaurd duties a bit now but she 's still very watchful and protective . Harley is a little bit easier on Bits now and Bits will still get in his face but not as much or for long . Well I did get a bit distracted when I started talking about Bits and Harley , might have been a good thing so I 'll leave this post at that and say bye ! February 4 , 2012 by munchkin1159 So mad ! here I sit tied to not just ONE heating pad but TWO ! Both feet decided to spasm at exactly the same time . Annoying , very annoying since Craig is off today and we were working on packing things for the move . Tonight , my book collection . They 've been doing that a lot lately , my feet and legs , spasming . Three times yesterday in the same foot . I get tired of it . I 'm really hoping it 's just the move and that once we are moved the Dystonia will level out and not act up so much . The BIG question is : WHY hasn 't anyone invented a heating pad that can be slipped over the feet or hands ? do you know how HARD it is to wrap a flat heating pad around either appendage ? It 's next to impossible to get it wrapped as tightly as I need in order to deliver maximum heat . Please , someone put their thinking caps on and come up with one ! ? You 'd be my hero . The good thing is I needed Craig 's help wrapping the heating pads around my feet but he was outside . Harley came in and I told him to go get Daddy , he left . came back a couple of minutes later , I told him again and he went out and came back and Craig came in shortly after . Now , I forgot that we now have to go out of the gate and thru the garage to get to the laundry room , no wonder Harley came back without him the first time . Craig said he was on the way in anyway when Harley went out the 2nd time . But still , Harley tried ! He knew exactly what I was saying and obeyed the command . We just need to work on getting him and Craig to recognize when he 's going to Craig because I need help versus just going out to be with Craig , they need a signal of some kind that says " Dad , Mom needs you ! " If anyone has any ideas on a signal or even how to teach Harley to use a signal please let me know . Harley and , I think , even Chloe is smart enough to learn . Probably Sofie too . Sweet little Scruffy . Every time she sees me putting the heating pad or pads on she comes and gives me her " Scruffy hugs " . That is she comes and lays her head on my shoulder as if she 's saying " it 's ok Mom " . She won 't leave my side as long as she believes I 'm in pain . As soon as it 's over she walks away . So cute and sweet yet kinda funny too . She 's our adorkable little girl . We , hopefully , will have our lot cleared Monday and ( again hopefully ) can schedule the mobile to be delivered before the weekend . I 'm not holding my breath , life seems to enjoy throwing these little obstacles in our path . We barrel thru eventually but it sure slows things down . Word of advice to those considering buying a mobile home . Buy the property FIRST and get it prepped BEFORE you buy the mobile ! We 'd surely been up a creek if this guy had reneged on selling us the property . IttyBitty made himself a cave out of the comforter and just crawled out panting . I KNOW it 's not that warm under there . Guess maybe he 's sympathizing with me over my now roasted feet ! That 's my little guy . I think I better go and try to cook dinner . Our microwave died yesterday so it 's fish on George Foreman tonight . Our appliances are dying slow painful deaths in this house . I 'm afraid to guess which one will go next ! The move can 't happen too soon . January 24 , 2012 by munchkin1159 Well , almost anyway . Craig finally got the property put in his name yesterday afternoon . Keep in mind this property has set empty for who knows how long with only an old shed and an even older Chevy Vega station wagon sitting on it . The bushes etc have to be cleaned off and land leveled before we even think about putting the house on it . And , that we were not going to do until the land was in Craig 's name . A little concerned we might have got it cleared at our expense then have him renege on the deal . Well , yesterday afternoon we had to take the deed to the salesman to show proof that we do have someplace to set the mobile . Can you believe 1 / 2 of our house was sitting in Odessa waiting to be delivered this morning ? The other half is still in Midland ! We had to tell him to re - schedule since the property wasn 't ready yet . . kinda disappointing but that 's what we get for putting the cart before the horse so to speak . We should have got the land FIRST . LOL . I didn 't expect them to be ready to deliver it so soon tho . It usually takes WEEKS to get one delivered . This guy is on the ball and trying every which way he can to get that mobile to us . While yesterday stressed Craig and I both out I still consider Miquel a blessing , he 's certainly been behind us 100 % . Even as late as 10 am this morning trying to figure out how to clear the lot and bring that mobile on in to us . It all works out in the end run tho , we were kinda poking around about packing since we thought it would be a while longer to get the mobile . Now , we have to step up that process . I think it 's time to put it in frantic frenzy packing mode … anyone got excess energy they can loan me ? LOL I did spoil myself a bit last night and got my haircut , I just needed it so bad . Every time Craig said Scruffy 's name I felt like I should answer ! After we left the dealership yesterday we went to Golden Corral for dinner . I told you the getting it today thing stressed us out a bit … yea . I was sitting and eating , NOT cutting anything this time just fork to mouth , and my left hand spasmed … HARD . The waitress brought me a warm wet towel and that relaxed it but no sooner than I tried to pick up my fork again and it hit again . I switched over to the right … I can be ambidextrous in some situations , and spasms hit my right hand . Talk about painful … and painfully embarrassing since Craig had to hand feed me my dinner . I felt so bad that when he got finished eating I just wanted to leave . I guess , at some point , I 'm going to have to get used to things like that happening , I guess I just thought it would be further down the road . I 'm hoping it 's all just the stress of getting the house and getting moved and after all is said and done the Dystonia will settle back down . I did have intentions of going to Lubbock and seeing a neuro - movement specialist there next month but since Craig will more than likely take a day or 2 off work for this move I will post - pone those plans for another month or two . Getting moved has a higher priority right now . And , Craig only gets so many paid days off a year so I have a tendency to want to try to nurse them along . He gets a lot of weekdays off so if we can schedule to go on a regular day off it 'd be much better any way . I 'm just about over the head cold / sinus thing which turned into a bit of a bronchial thing as well . Almost a full month 2 antibiotics and prednisone and I 'm getting there . Funny thing is I 'm still on the Guava juice / Ginger Ale / Protein Shake kick but add in the little oranges they advertise as Cuties on tv . AND … chips and the hottest homemade salsa I can find . Some diet huh ? LOL . I will eat 2 - 3 oranges at one time they are just sooo good ! That predniTC guys ! PS I know I said in an earlier post we 'd have to order from the factory for doors wide enough for a wheelchair to go through , not the case . My wheelchair will go comfortably through any doorway in the house . That 's why things are hopping so quickly . IF we 'd had to order from the factory it would have taken much longer ! January 24 , 2012 by munchkin1159 Well , almost anyway . Craig finally got the property put in his name yesterday afternoon . Keep in mind this property has set empty for who knows how long with only an old shed and an even older Chevy Vega station wagon sitting on it . The bushes etc have to be cleaned off and land leveled before we even think about putting the house on it . And , that we were not going to do until the land was in Craig 's name . A little concerned we might have got it cleared at our expense then have him renege on the deal . Well , yesterday afternoon we had to take the deed to the salesman to show proof that we do have someplace to set the mobile . Can you believe 1 / 2 of our house was sitting in Odessa waiting to be delivered this morning ? The other half is still in Midland ! We had to tell him to re - schedule since the property wasn 't ready yet . . kinda disappointing but that 's what we get for putting the cart before the horse so to speak . We should have got the land FIRST . LOL . I didn 't expect them to be ready to deliver it so soon tho . It usually takes WEEKS to get one delivered . This guy is on the ball and trying every which way he can to get that mobile to us . While yesterday stressed Craig and I both out I still consider Miquel a blessing , he 's certainly been behind us 100 % . Even as late as 10 am this morning trying to figure out how to clear the lot and bring that mobile on in to us . It all works out in the end run tho , we were kinda poking around about packing since we thought it would be a while longer to get the mobile . Now , we have to step up that process . I think it 's time to put it in frantic frenzy packing mode … anyone got excess energy they can loan me ? LOL I did spoil myself a bit last night and got my haircut , I just needed it so bad . Every time Craig said Scruffy 's name I felt like I should answer ! After we left the dealership yesterday we went to Golden Corral for dinner . I told you the getting it today thing stressed us out a bit … yea . I was sitting and eating , NOT cutting anything this time just fork to mouth , and my left hand spasmed … HARD . The waitress brought me a warm wet towel and that relaxed it but no sooner than I tried to pick up my fork again and it hit again . I switched over to the right … I can be ambidextrous in some situations , and spasms hit my right hand . Talk about painful … and painfully embarrassing since Craig had to hand feed me my dinner . I felt so bad that when he got finished eating I just wanted to leave . I guess , at some point , I 'm going to have to get used to things like that happening , I guess I just thought it would be further down the road . I 'm hoping it 's all just the stress of getting the house and getting moved and after all is said and done the Dystonia will settle back down . I did have intentions of going to Lubbock and seeing a neuro - movement specialist there next month but since Craig will more than likely take a day or 2 off work for this move I will post - pone those plans for another month or two . Getting moved has a higher priority right now . And , Craig only gets so many paid days off a year so I have a tendency to want to try to nurse them along . He gets a lot of weekdays off so if we can schedule to go on a regular day off it 'd be much better any way . I 'm just about over the head cold / sinus thing which turned into a bit of a bronchial thing as well . Almost a full month 2 antibiotics and prednisone and I 'm getting there . Funny thing is I 'm still on the Guava juice / Ginger Ale / Protein Shake kick but add in the little oranges they advertise as Cuties on tv . AND … chips and the hottest homemade salsa I can find . Some diet huh ? LOL . I will eat 2 - 3 oranges at one time they are just sooo good ! That predniTC guys ! January 15 , 2012 by munchkin1159 We finally got my ss back pay and it went straight towards a down payment on a double wide . If everything goes right with getting the lot and getting it cleared we could be in a new home by the end of the month … but I 'll give it till Feb . 11th , my birthday ! Yes ! I 'm super excited ! We fell in love with it the moment we walked thru the door , it is just everything we 've spent the last 2 years looking for and then some . We 're getting the one they already had on the lot and it 's the extended with and length with the glamour bath . Finally a house with heat and I know that will help stop some of my spasms . It is well insulated so I know that will help our allergies a lot . The dishwasher and having the washer and dryer INSIDE will help a lot too . That was the fastest and best $ 4k I ever spent . LOL . I 've been internet window shopping for furniture . We just want a loveseat , 2 recliners and an end table that will go with Craig Mom 's glass and iron table . That table tho has been pretty elusive ! The reason for the loveseat is we never get that much company at one time so we really don 't need anything bigger . I would prefer leather , it 'll be easier to brush the dog hair off of it . Chloe is the only one that really sheds . We 're are trying to find homes for Sheba and Scruffy . Hope we can soon , they are so lovable . I am , I hope on the last end of a head cold / sinus infection . It took 2 trips to Dr . Garcia to do it tho . During the 2 weeks I 've been sick I 've lost about 7 or 8 pounds , food has just been yuck . I have been drinking protein shakes to help keep some vitamins and minerals in my system and I think that 's helped also . I 've been craving Gauva juice and Ginger Ale . I go thru a carton of Guava a day and 2 cans of Ginger Ale . At least no one can say I 'm not getting enough fluids !
|
This is the letter I finally sent to the local hospital about some of my experiences 3 years ago . I think it has helped me feel clearer about my upcoming stay after shoulder surgery , though I am not looking forward to it . I also gave a copy to my Dr and his PA , so they would know why I am so anxious , even though I know this stay will be shorter and easier . Three years ago , on Thursday Aug . 7th , 2003 , I fell at work and , because I was hugely obese , went down like a redwood tree . I ended up with a large butterfly fracture of my right upper arm , and terrible bruising from my breast to my thigh on the right side . I was sent to - - - - - by ambulance . I am writing this letter to review some of the difficulties I encountered during my hospitalization at - - - - - . I was greeted by Dr . S . and his ( then ) PA , Mr . T . My arm was X - rayed , put in an ace bandaged type cast , then I was given pain meds and sent home . I was told that their practice 's new arm and hand surgeon , Dr K . would do surgery on the arm early the next week . During my time in the ER , nobody x - rayed any other part of me - like my neck or back - nor was I examined in any other way - an issue which soon became a big problem for me . I went home , took my pain pills and began to decompensate right away . By Sunday , I was unable to get out of my chair , and my partner called 911 . I went back to - - - - - , and was admitted to the over crowded , understaffed orthopedic floor . I was in the second to the last room on the right side in the bed nearest the hall . Since no roommate would open her curtain , and I could not see into the hall , my view for the next 10 days was the TV and a blank bulletin board . After this I was sort of in and out of it for several days . On Monday morning , my then PCP , Dr . D . dropped by , and was alarmed when I didn 't know who he was and that my bloodwork was all out of whack . He ordered an MRI for me , because he was afraid I was having a brain bleed , but he was told that , because I weighed 368 lbs , hospital insurance would not cover the cost of fixing the MRI machine , should I break it . Therefore an MRI was out . If I had been examined by a doctor or nurse , either in the ER or when I first arrived on the floor , it would have been clear that I was having a " body bleed " for by then I was black from breast to thigh , and getting darker daily . I knew this , and so did the aids who helped me bathe , but I did not know that officials - like my nurses and doctors - did not know , so I never mentioned it . ( I was very naive about hospital errors back then . I 've learned a lot since then ) All of this I found out later , of course . At the time I was confused and scared . I would wake up two or three time a night , terrified , swimming into consciousness with no idea where I was . After a long while I would gather all my courage and call out , " Where am I ? " The first couple of times my roommate would tell me I was in the hospital , but soon tired of my waking her . She would hit her bell and tell the answering nurse , " She 's doing it again , " and bored , angry sounding voice would erupt over my head , telling me that she had already told me three - or four - times I was in the hospital . I still wake up at night with that feeling of terror at not knowing where I am . I fared little better during the days . Each time I was to go for a test or X - ray , a team of people would appear at my bedside , some commenting on , or complaining about , how difficult it was to move me , leaving me stammering apologies about my weight . Each move was exquisitely painful , for my arm was still in the original ace bandage wrapping , still unset , and hugely swollen . One aide actually pushed on my injured arm to get me across the chasm between bed and gurney . When I screamed in pain , she snapped , " Listen , Missy , we have to get you up and moved . Screaming isn 't going to stop us . " My one small , pitifully proud moment of the whole hospital ordeal happened when I snapped back , " No , you listen , Missy , my arm is unset and unattached and if you push on it I will scream . " She had the grace to look slightly abashed , but was no less rough in subsequent moves , though she stayed on my left side from then on . Nor did I fare much better on the way to and back from testing . I was in an elevator with my eyes closed , trying to contain my pain , when one of the orderlies said to the other , " This woman is too fat to live . " The other answered , " Well , she probably won 't be living long anyway . " I lay there feeling flushed , terrified , and totally humiliated . I kept my eyes closed until they dropped me off at some door for some test . Then there was the fiasco of blood draws . My right arm was out of commission and I am a hard draw . Knowing this , I was polite to the people who came sometimes twice a day to draw blood . After only a few days , however , I had black and blue stick marks from my left hand up to my shoulder - mostly from misses . The last straw was when I woke up to find someone trying to get blood from my armpit . I called a halt to blood draws , loudly and clearly . A nurse came in and said they would get their best guy to get the required blood that day . This phlebotomist turned up with another man who was apparently in training . It should have been clear by then that I was not an ideal candidate for someone to practice on . However , the so called " best guy " insisted the second man try three times , before he was willing try . He did get my blood , second try , and left me quietly sobbing with anger , frustration and pain . Why did the so - called best guy make me be stuck three times before he tried , knowing by the marks and bruises on my arm I was not an easy draw ? I 'm still wondering . I finally got a port put in , something that should have been done several days earlier . One evening , after my blood work had improved , but before surgery , an elderly woman was brought in from a nursing home . From my side of the curtain , I heard her grandson telling her over and over that she would be okay now , she was in the hospital , and he would be back to sit with her first thing in the morning . The orderlies put her in the bed beside mine . A nurse told her she had to go down the hall quickly , but would be right back to settler her in . The woman moaned for a long time , while I spoke soothingly to her through the curtain , then she fell silent . Three hours later , ( I know because I was watching prime time TV ) , I called for my next pain meds . I told my nurse that nobody had been in to settle my roommate . She looked horrified and pulled the curtain aside . It was too late , the woman was dead . Now , she probably would have died anyway , but her pain could certainly have been eased had a nurse returned , as promised . Within fiften minutes , her body was gone , and the bed was being cleaned . I found this experience to be quite traumatizing , though no nurse that night or the next morning would discuss the incident with me . It was as if we all were to pretend it never happened . And then there were the smaller problems , not so much medical as practical . I could not take the tops off hot food , or unwrap a sandwich with my left hand alone . The food service person informed me that opening food was not her job . So at each meal I had to ring my bell , inform the nurse I needed help , and then wait , sometimes for 30 to 40 minutes , before someone would show up to help me . The same was true for the bathroom . I could walk , go by myself , and get back into bed , but I could not get up from the bed without help . Sometimes I waited an hour for help with that , even though I began to become a bother , ringing at 20 minute intervals . Please know that for the most part , I was well aware of the stress on the nurses , and that there were sicker patients on the floor than I . I am by nature polite , and was careful to thank the nurses and aides for their help , friendly towards most staff members , and quite patient until towards the end of my stay , when I became totally desperate to leave the hospital . Some staff members were actually wonderful to me , smiling and helpful no matter how tired , even to the point of anticipating my needs . I truly appreciated them , and know they are working in the right place . Other staff members - especially nurses - were over - worked , over - tired , curt and spoke down to me , as if being fat also made me stupid . Finally , on a Friday morning , Dr . K . said I could be released to a rehab place , and the discharge nurse came in to tell me they were holding a bed for me somewhere ( I can 't remember where now ) and they would send an ambulance for me " soon . " I understood that to mean that same day . Nobody came for me Friday , but I figured they would show up Saturday morning . By Saturday afternoon , I was desperate to leave , then was told by a nurse that no place sent an ambulance or took in new admissions on weekends . I had a meltdown , and threatened to leave anyway , but , of course , the hospital held the upper hand , and that was made clear by the nursing staff , who went so far as to call Dr . K . on his weekend off to give me a lecture , even after I had already capitulated and said I would stay . By Monday , my only thought was to go home . When the discharge nurse came bustling in shortly thereafter , asking why I wasn 't going to a rehab place , I told her what had happened . She was shocked , but then had the grace to come back to tell me she had gottenbusy , and hadn 't finished the paperwork , and she was sorry . By then it was too late . I had been it that awful room , in pain and humiliated about my weight for almost two weeks , with nothing to look at but that empty bulletin board , and I wanted out . And so my doctor released me , to go home way too early , forcing me to set up many of the services I needed myself . All in all , those two weeks were among of the worst experiences of my life . And , as you can tell , I am still angry about my treatment at - - - - - . I still wake up in the night , terrified , not knowing where I am . And I have gone from trusting - - - - - to take good care of me to massive anxiety at the thought of having to be admitted there again . Since then , I have chosen to have two other surgeries at Yale , where I was treated as a competent individual , respectfully and with dignity . Despite anxiety which was leaking out my ears , I found both experiences to much better than my time at - - - - - . I am writing this letter for several reasons . The first is that at the time I received my evaluation , I was still unable to write at all , so I let it go . As time has passed I have become more angry , not less . I have had to spend a lot of time in hospitals , and now I have anxiety attacks before each admittance . Although I have lost nearly 200 lbs . since 2003 , I think I am most angry about the way I was treated for being obese . I heard the snickering and comments about my size ; it was , and is , totally unacceptable . I wonder how many other obese people have been subjected to the same kind of humiliating treatment . Perhaps some sort of sensitivity training is in order ? The second reason is that I am hoping that by writing this letter , I will exorcise some of the demons that linger three years later . I have gone into my subsequent hospitalizations with completely negative expectations , to my own detriment . While I have become more assertive and self advocating because of my experience at - - - - - , I have also had to deal with the anxiety causing memories of that experience . The third reason is that I am scheduled for surgery at L & M on October 19th . Dr . M . will be removing the rod and screws that Dr . K . put in , and cleaning up the rotator cuff . I am truly scared about spending time on that floor again . I hope that my experience will be radically different this time , but I am more anxious than usual before hospitalization . I believe strongly that the mind / body connection is a critical part of healing , and that my anxiety is detrimental to this . I am hoping that this letter will be a method of changing my anxiety , and of having my experience this time be much better than the last time . OMG No wonder you are scared about having to go back to a place that treated you so rudely & hatefully & unprofessionally . I could claw the eyeballs out of some of those jacka @@ es . I applaude you for writing the letter Not just for you , but so many other who are vitims of the " medical system " . I went into nursing because there were so few real nurses that acted like they cared or treated me & my son as if we were human beings with brains or feelings . There were so many that were hateful & rude . I was a scared to death mom of a 3 month old with cancer & no medical experience . I am also very obese & was told if I ever wanted to be a nurse later on I better get in shape when I told someone I thought I 'd like to be nurse one day after my son got well . I met very few decent , kind , or patient nurses ( 3 to be exact in the five years & the numerous hospitals he was in ) who acted like they cared . No one stood up for me when the doctors would yell at me for asking questions as if I was daring to challenge their right to be Gods . I went in to nursing to protect patients from the medical system & from the uncaring nurses that acted like you were in the way between them & the time clock & they didn 't care about me or my son . Nursing was a job & a paycheck . There is NO excuse for the asinine behavior of those who worked with you . pain control should have been one of the biggest priorities . Rudeness should never be allowed . A port should have been inserted immedicately when lab draws and medications were going to be painful & frequent . There is no excuse . I am so sorry that you had such butt heads for doctors & nurses . I remember all the ways that my son & I were treated by a suppossedly well acclaimed hospitals & have never forgotten it . CheyFire You letter is perfect ! You did a fantastic job . I would suspect that the letter writing was a bit cleansing for you . I just pray that someone will sit up and take notice . I had no idea you had gone through so much at that place . I would be hysterical . May the warrior woman prevail ! ! ! ! ! Hugs my dear friend , Deb My name is Margo . I am in my late 50 's and live in Southeastern CT , in an old house in a neighborhood of houses on the National Registry of Historic Homes . Mine ia the rundown red one . Over five years ago my live took a radical and unexpected turn for the worse . I have been working hard to keep up with the changes ever since .
|
Last week I spent my days observing home visits for HIV + clients enrolled in our home - based care program . What this means is that I went around the village with the Head Nurse from the Clinic and a staff member from the NGO to meet with people to assess their health and what our organization can do to help . My role in these visits would be nominal at this point - mostly to meet more community members , gain a better understanding of the issues in Gabane , see how the visits are conducted , and offer suggestions for how to help the people and how to better coordinate and carry out visits . I was both anxious and excited to be a part of this side of the organization . I have to admit , most of the visits were quite unsettling and it 's taken me a week to adequately process . Throughout training , Peace Corps threw statistics at us and discussed the many issues in Botswana but it is not the same until you have seen it with your own eyes . In a sense , I was sheltered from the reality having only seen one side before now - the gleeful children at play in the OVC centers . While it was heartbreaking to know their stories , I had not been invited into the homes to see what HIV / AIDS looks like in the raw . In actually going into the homes , I was able to clearly see the difference between simply having knowledge of something and then actually experiencing it . This reality brought my consciousness to a whole other level . As we went from home to home , greeting and meeting with clients and their families , I was struck by the magnitude of devastation that HIV / AIDS has brought to this village and the sheer poverty that exists . One household in particular paints a clear picture . Let me tell you that story : We took an off - road path that bumped and thrashed the combi around and then turned into a small compound . There was one dilapidated stone building and then overgrown weeds waist high . I thought we were turning around to go back the way we came , seeing as how there was no room to do so on the path we had taken . But then the driver turned the combi 's engine off and the Head Nurse said to me " lets go " as she opened the sliding door to get out . I was a little startled but got myself together as we approached the front door , which appeared to be nothing but a piece of tin roofing leaning up against the opening . We knocked ( " ko ko " ) and entered the one - room building . There was a young girl sitting on the floor on a blanket and a mostly naked woman laying on the bed that took up the majority of the space in the house . We were there to see the woman that was now mostly bed - ridden . She was skin and bones and more feeble than any person I have ever seen . Even still , she kept a smile on her face ( as much as she could muster anyway ) and spoke to us in a joyous tone . She told us that she had been having trouble getting to her doctor 's appointments and requested transport as it was available . We committed to help her . She then informed us that her daughter , who was sitting on the floor next to us , had just tested positive for HIV . ( Transactional sex is common here , which made me wonder : With this family so poverty stricken , could this girls ' status be a result of this ? What kind of person would take advantage of a young girl that needs help ? These are some of the issues we face every day . ) The Head Nurse talked with the teenager for some time and they agreed she would come to the Clinic for counseling and then to enroll in our program . I could have cried in that moment . Looking at this family that was so poor , meeting this mother who was so sick but who was keeping as positive an attitude as possible , and then learning that her daughter was infected too - it was so devastating . What lessons were being missed in this home ? in tThe home visits have left me with a lot of questions and some frustrations that I need to work through . I wonder about how much of an impact we , as Peace Corps Volunteers , can truly make . Real change comes from the community and from within . But I needed to be educated and shown the reality here if I am going to have any chance of helping . I need this knowledge if I am going to be effective , however difficult it may be to see . And , in the end , it has made me even more compassionate because I have seen what it does to people and to their families . This compassion is what will rededicate me when the work gets tough . These are good people and they deserve more . Many of you know that I was in a sorority in college . I was a Dee Zee - a Delta Zeta . The four years I spent in the house were among my favorite memories . I had more fun than any one person should be entitled , I made friends that turned into family , and I learned a lifetime full of lessons . I grew up there . I owe a lot of who I am today to my time in Delta Zeta . Everything about it was truly special to me . I will never forget it . That is why I am humbled to write this post . A while ago , I was approached by another Delta Zeta from my house to ask about my service . She said she was working for The Lamp , which is Delta Zeta 's national magazine , and that she wanted to publish something about my experiences in Peace Corps . We talked briefly about the work I am doing , how it has been serving abroad , and about my impressions and reactions thus far . After the interview , I went back to work on many of the things we discussed and did not give it much more thought . Yesterday evening , I received a message stating that the article about me had been published in The Lamp . I went straight to online version and this is what I found : Tija Leigh Danzig , University of Washington - Kappa 2002 , Serves in Peace Corps to Help Others . I was blown away . I feel blessed for my time in Delta Zeta , for being able to serve in Peace Corps , and for the life I have been able to live . Now I feel honored to be able to represent my sorority in a way that I believe is " becoming of a Delta Zeta " and in line with our creed ( see right ) . It is special in a way I cannot adequately express . I want to thank my sorority , especially my pledge class , for getting me to this point . To giving me courage and strength and encouraging me every step of the way . You have been there for me for a decade now and I could never thank you enough . In a simliar light , I want to share that , in coming to Botswana , I have met another Delta Zeta . I met her in Philadelphia on March 31st , when my group of eager Peace Corps Trainees prepared for our journey to Africa . Her name is Kristen Sheppard , University of Maine - Alpha Upsilon ' 04 . She is currently serving in Werda , Botswana as a Community Capacity Builder . She has become a dear friend to me and someone who I have constantly turned to for support in the past 11 months . We have a common background and are going through something extremely unique . These are the ties of sisterhood that run deep . It amazes me how , even across the world , I met another Delta Zeta and how we were able to come together under a common mission - to help others . I am really proud of Delta Zeta for helping cultivate people into the kind of citizens that feel the need to give back . It is a testament to the sorority . I feel privileged to be a part of it and to know so many wonderful Delta Zetas . Follow her service at : The Adventures of KShep . As I mentioned a few hours ago , today I held my first Computer Basics class for the staff at my NGO . I am oh so happy to report that every single staff member , including the cooks , came to the class ! Everyone was eager to learn about computers . We started the class with the absolute basics : how to turn on the computer . I realize this seems mundane to my readers from the developed world but you have to realize that , for many in Botswana , this is life . They are just starting to understand technology and most people that are much older than school - aged have had very little or no education on computers etc . They are excited , however , and asked many questions that led the class much further than the simplicity of that . After covering an array of topics from locating " My Documents " and seeing the materials I am starting to put together for them to opening and saving files , I introduced the class to their new best friend : the typing tutor . I had installed Keyblaze Typing Tutor to all of the computers in the new lab a few days ago in preparation for the class . The last half hour consisted of getting acquainted with the keyboard . Most just learned their basic finger placement but a few made it through the first two lessons ( " index finger letters " and " middle finger letters " ) . What makes this even more exciting and makes me smile with joy is that the staff stayed after class to continuing practicing their typing skills . They were so happy to be learning how to use the computer that they were laughing and squealing and smiling and high - fiving each other with each accomplishment . I was overjoyed seeing how this simple lesson was really impacting their lives . And , music to my ears , was when they asked if it was okay for them to practice in the computer lab even if I was not there . Yes , folks , this is a joyous day in the life of a PCV ! Yesterday , while I was in Gaborone at my Scout Troop meeting ( have I mentioned that I 'm leading a Scouts Troop with another PCV ? Well , I am ) , I received an sms from someone at my NGO . She asked how to log into the computer - where to type in the password and how to get it to accept the password . I quickly responded to her message and returned to my troop meeting . After a while , she messaged me again and then a few more times with simple questions , like where to find the " documents " folder and which program she should use to type a letter ( Word vs Works ) . After my meeting , I checked in with her to make sure that everything was okay and to find out if she needed me to come into the office when I got back to Gabane . She informed me that nothing was the matter but that she wanted to get acclimated to the computer and play around with things in preparation for our first computer class ( which is this afternoon ) . OH MY GOODNESS . ( Was I really hearing this ? ) She was excited to learn , so much so that she wanted to prepare herself for the class . Motivated , planning ahead , enthusiastic . . . this was music to my ears . It has been a while since I have had the opportunity to work with people like this . This is yet another thing that is making my days all the better . Truly amazing . And , with that , I 'm off to teach Computer Basics ! I want to share a couple things that I have noticed in my time here . They are in reference to some absolutely adorable revelations made by kids here that I bet you 'd never think of . Prepare to say " awww " ! Flush ToiletsThis is a pit latrine . It is essentially the same sort of pit latrine that is found all over Botswana . For many of my readers , it is most easily defined as an outhouse . In America , this sort of toilet is very uncommon ( except at music festivals or major outdoor events when we set up porta - pottys ) . Here , however , it is very widespread , as many families do not have indoor plumbing . Totally normal . This is a flush toilet . It is essentially the same sort of flush toilet that is found all over the United States . It has also been adopted around the globe , including in Botswana . Most households that have running water and indoor plumbing have similar toilets . Both of my homes in Botswana were among those with flush toilets ( albeit with their own idiosyncrasies - another story ) . Because I am so accustomed to having a flush toilet , I thought nothing of it when the kids that came over to my house asked to use the toilet . At first , they would creep into my bathroom and sit on it , do their business , and leave without flushing . After a while , I figured this out and decided to show them how to flush . The first time I flushed the toilet , the kids went running out of the bathroom screaming . They were scared of the sound and didn 't want to stick around to find out what that sound indicated . This made me giggle . Once they got used to it , however , they found the flushing to be so so so aweeesssoooommmeeee ! And then the kids would venture into the bathroom , to use the facilities I assumed , and then I wouldn 't see them again for fifteen or so minutes . But I would hear the toilet flush a half dozen times at least . They were absolutely fascinated by the flushing action , watching the water spin around and go down the drain then fill back up again . It was almost like a game . Now , this could be misinterpreted as a fun game orPosted by Have you ever wondered what a Peace Corps Volunteer does ? While this is mostly satirical , it isn 't completely off in the ( albeit exaggerated ) perceptions of what a Peace Corps Volunteer does . It made me laugh hysterically , which is why I wanted to share it . I decided to share it now because I 'm about to tell you about a particularly productive day in my life ( yesterday to be exact ) and the development in my projects in Gabane . My new house in Gabane has an electric stove . This was much to my DAC 's dismay because the country is plagued with significant power outages . Being the motherly type , she worried I would go hungry for days on end if the power went out in Gabane ( Ha ! She obviously hasn 't spent enough time with me ! Allow myself to starve ? I think not ! ) . As such , she made me bring my gas stove from Kumakwane with me to the new village ( I now have a second stove and a gas cylinder in my living room ) . Unfortunately , the attachment for the cylinder lost a piece so it leaks out gas when turned on so I 'm unable to use it until that gets fixed . Fortunately , I haven 't had a problem with electricity yet . That being said , yesterday morning I set my kettle up to boil water for coffee ( thanks again Mom ! ) when POOF - my power went out . I felt my heart whimper a little bit . I looked longingly at the gas stove , realizing I couldn 't use it but wishing that a small gas leakage into the house wouldn 't kill me ( because not having coffee just might ! ) . But fear not my fellow coffee drinkers , it was short lived . Unlike my previous 5 + day stints without electricity , this one lasted less than five minutes before I heard the hum of my refrigerator return . If this wasn 't a sign ! This was going to be a good day ! At the NGO , I was greeted by 41 smiling children eager to do our secret handshake and get underway with the lessons for the day . They were smiley and chipper and very very happy to see me . ( This , of course , makes my day all on its own because the kids are so precious . ) The morning lesson was English - my speciality - and the kids were excited to show off how well they could identify the window , door , chair , and a sundry of other things around the classroom . It is at this point that I would like to brag about how wonderful the Head Teacher is at the NGO . She is an older woman , retired from her previous life in the primary school system , and passionately dedicated to these children . She approaches each lesson with patience , kindness , and percipience . I mention this now because the children are flourishing under her tutelage . I am constantly amazed at how these children , none older than 6 , are able to understand and communicate in both Setswana and English ( and succeed in other subjects as well ) . Even those that are having a harder time grasping the lessons , are comfortable in trying and giving their best effort since she supports them so beautifully as they learn that " E " comes before " F " or that " chair " and " table " are two different objects . It is a joy to watch her teach , especially in a country where teachers are not always as diligent . This is a blessing for those children , but also for the other teachers at the NGO who are watching and learning from her and for me in getting to work with her . After the morning lessons , the Head Teacher ( who is also the Center Coordinator ) took me around Gabane to introduce me to our key partners . This included the Head Nurse and staff at the Community Clinic and the Health Post , Peer Educators , volunteers that work with our Support Group for HIV + individuals , teachers from the primary schools in the village , and , finally , the Kgosi ( village " Chief " ) and his staff . I had nearly six straight hours of meetings . I was warmly received along the way - meeting so many new people , learning about the work they are doing , and being invited to help in a plethora of ways . It was during this time that I really began to feel a part of this community and began to understand all the issues that the NGO and community faces . What 's more , I started to see where I could fit into the mix and how best I can help in all these areas . When the day was through , I sat down to plot out a schedule and figure out where to allocate time to assist ( gasp ) everyone . If I am to do all that I hope , there is very little way I will be lounging around in my bath bucket ( as pictured above ) . My days will be filled with capacitating the NGO staff , assisting with lessons plans for the Early Childhood Education Program , working with the Clinic and Health Post , leading a PACT Club at the Junior Secondary School , developing a better M & E system between the NGO and Gabane Primary School , teaching basic computer classes , working with the Segoditshane Scouts Troop , and revising Reneetswe Happy Home Care Center 's Constitution and its organizational documents . Phew . To say I have my work cut out for me is an understatement . Am I excited about this change of pace ? You betcha ! Moral of this story ? What this Peace Corps Volunteer is doing falls somewhere in the middle of all the pictures above , probably with some elements of each ( except of course the CIA thing . . . and the monkey backpack ! ) . And it looks like I am in for many more busy and happy days ahead ! This is dedicated to everyone in Bots 10 - those still in Botswana and those who have gone home to pursue something new . You all inspire me . I am so grateful to know you and to call you family . Here 's to making the most of our experiences ( wherever and whatever they may be ) ! In all honesty , I was more than a little anxious about moving to a new site . I was not looking forward to learning a new community , trying to integrate again , and starting back over from scratch . Looking back , the first two months at site were my hardest in Botswana and the thought of having to relive them was quite daunting . But , alas , these were the cards I was dealt so I was going to do my best to make the most of it . I owed that much to my service and to myself . What I realized in my first two weeks in Gabane is that I have learned a lot more in these past ten months than I could have ever imagined and that this experience has been invaluable ( especially for anyone pursuing global health / development work ) . I now know what it takes to really delve into the issues of a community and its people . I know the questions to ask and how to phrase them in order to get the information I need within the confines of cultural norms and impediments etc . I know the right people to go to in most situations and no longer need to go from person - to - person and wade through the nonsense associated with red tape and interminable levels of protocol in Botswana . Integration is easier because I am more confident with the language and with how to talk with locals . I am not afraid to talk to passerbys , to joke with people when they ask for money ( " mpha madi " ) , or invite myself ( or others ) over for tea . What took me two months ( or longer ) to figure out during my " community assessment phase " has taken me less than two weeks in this new environment . It has gotten easier and it all makes more sense this time around . I have learned how to navigate the system and life in Botswana . These were skills I had not realized I was cultivating . So the lesson I have learned that I wish to bestow on my fellow Peace Corps Volunteers ( and others ) is this : Even when you think that you are not getting anything out of your experience , and even when you feel like you are wasting time and not being fully utilized , keep your chin up ! The reality is that you are getting more out of it than you could possibly imagine . There are skills and lessons and discoveries tucked away that you never dreamed were being realized . Don 't give up , believe that it will be okay , and just trust . What you are getting out of all this may not be uncovered until later but , trust me , it is happening . I have been constantly amazed by all that I have actually gained . Last week I taught the children in my new NGO 's preschool program the " Kums Kids secret handshake " . ( Yes , I realize this makes it less " secret " but oh well - best to share the fun I think ! ) Learning the handshake - how to make a fist , when to pound it , and when to " blow it up " - made the children laugh uncontrollably . After all 41 of them could do it , we did the hokey pokey and danced around and wiggled until we fell over . It was a bonding day for the children and me . It was the first day we truly interacted and had fun together . We have been growing closer ever since . Today I started to learn their stories . Learning about the children in my community / communities has been among the things I cherish most about my time here . It is also among those that elicit extreme emotions . Today was no exception . After playing a round of " cat , cat , dog " ( read : " duck , duck , goose " but with animals the kids have seen and know about ) , I sat down with the Head Teacher to discuss the needs of the NGO . In this discussion , I learned that most of the 2 - to 6 - year - olds that we work with are orphans and come from extremely poor families . Many live with sick grandparents or hardworking uncles ( or similar family structures ) and are left to care for themselves when not at the preschool . I also found out that one of the little girls that I started to grow attached to last week just lost her mom in December and is now being raised by her teenage cousin , who is her last living relative . Understandably , this child is having an extremely hard time ( " adjusting to the loss " as the Head Teacher put it ) and is wetting herself and exuding other trauma signs . She is not alone by any means . Two other children in the class are living in a one - room house with eight other people - a hodgepodge of orphaned family members taken in and being raised by an HIV + aunt . The NGO is trying to pull together funds to help build them a new house and get them food baskets . ( This is something they did once before for another struggling family . I learned that it costs roughly US $ 3 , 000 . 00 to build a four - bedroom house in Botswana . This could make all the difference for a family like this . Amazing to think . ) The staff struggle too , as they have never received salaries and still have families and bills and basic survival needs . Things are difficult . And I 'm just beginning to know the realities in my new village . While the stories are sad , I want to also point out the positive side here , at least as I see it . For one , family members are reaching out to take in children in need . Next , my NGO and the Gabane Community have come together to offer education and services to help these families . Third , no one is giving up and everyone is pitching in to help . And lastly , I am here and I am inspired to keep these children laughing and to helping find resources to make their lives a little bit better . Their stories , however sad , are what inspire me and are the reason I am here . I am from the Pacific Northwest . I am very familiar with umbrellas and their function . Umbrellas keep you dry when it 's raining . Or at least that 's what I thought . . . Perplexing Botswana Observation # 983 is that umbrellas are for shielding you from the sun and NOT the rain . Since it started getting ridiculously hot in October , I have seen my fair share of people walking around with umbrellas . They have acted as portable shade from the blazing hot sun . I thought to myself " genius ! " and wondered if they could figure out portable air conditioners as well . It wasn 't until a few days ago that I realized it was actually the only thing the umbrellas were used for . A few days ago , much to my merriment , it rained . I had a meeting in another village so I grabbed my umbrella and started walking towards the bus stop . Halfway down the road I realized that I was the only person with an umbrella . I 'm usually the only person without one , choosing to enjoy the sunshine ( like a true Seattlite ) , and now that it 's raining , I am again alone . This seemed so strange to me . Either I have this backwards or they do , right ? Well , no , we probably both have this right given where we come from . I lived in Seattle , where sunbreaks were a blessing and rain somewhat common and they are from Botswana where it rains in the summer when the sun is so hot that it scorches your skin . Obviously we have found our own very valuable uses for the umbrella . Even still , it baffles and humors me . I think I 'm going to just carry an umbrella around all the time ( or never ? ) . Oh Botswana , you continue to surprise me ! Well , I did it . I packed up all of my things and moved down the A - 10 to the village of Gabane . It was no small task to wade through the things I brought , things left by the previous volunteer , and things gifted along the way , but I did it . And saying goodbye to my Kums Kids ? Lets just say that more than a few tears were shed during the week before I left . It was trying to say the least . But , in the light of a new day ( and looking from a new horizon , literally ) , I have to say that it all has been worth it - a true blessing . As you are aware , nearly seven months ago , the NGO that I was assigned to for my primary project at my post in Kumakwane closed down . I spent a lot of time trying to get things sorted and staff poised to reopen the center . Despite my best efforts , motivation waned . When it looked as though there was nothing more that I could do , I started investing my time in other projects in the community and its surrounding areas . I integrated as much as I could and befriended a group of wonderful children . As time went on , Peace Corps decided it was in my best interest to reassign me to a new site . This meant moving from a community that I had grown to love and starting over after close to a year in country . I was skeptical but accepted my fate . On Monday morning , my things and my life moved to Gabane . The NGO that I am now working for is called Gabane Community Home - Based Care and Early Childhood Education Center . The organization has many functions , all working towards helping the sick and vulnerable . Programs include everything from home - based care , ARV adherence , and health and wellness workshops to preschool / early childhood education , orphan care , and caregiver training and support . All staff at the NGO are volunteers , many of whom have been at the organization since it opened in 1997 . These staff members have foregone having a salary in exchange for being able to feed the children and continue to support their HIV + clients . That staff have been continually fighting to keep it afloat , overcoming a plethora of obstacles along the way . Needless to say , they are selfless , dedicated , willing , and motivated to help people . What 's more , they are extremely excited about every idea that I have and truly understand that I am there to capacitate them ( and not to do the work for them ) . As such , I am every bit as excited to teach them new skills and get them to " function at the next level " ( as they so aptly put it ) . For the past two days , I have been observing classrooms for the Early Childhood Education Program . This has given me an opportunity to watch them teach , to meet the children , and learn more about this aspect of the organization ( which appears to be the cornerstone of future projects ) . Next week , I am meeting with the Executive Committee of the NGO and then going around to meet the partners , including staff from both the clinic and the health post , as well as members of the Ministry , our Kgosi ( the village chief ) , and representatives from Pellegano Village Industries ( an artist / artisan colony in the village that is helping support our organization ) . The following week , I will do ride alongs to observe the Home - Based Care Programs and meet the Support Group members . The staff and I agreed that it would be advantageous for me to see the many factions of the organization and how they function . The more I know , the more I can help . In the past two days , however , I have already been able to start a number of beneficial projects , including : helping them brainstorm new fun and educational activities to incorporate into their lesson plans , developing a new monitoring and evaluation plan for the Early Childhood Education Program , digitizing reports and record keeping systems , teaching basic computer skills ( including typing ) , and I set up email accounts for the organization and the main volunteer staff members . We are also planning on starting proposal writing sessions in the upcoming weeks . ( In another vein , the women at the NGO are also pretty excited for me to help them make a picture wall to showcase their students and the work they are doing and also for me to do yoga with them ! ) There is a lot more to work on , which is something that is truly motivating and exciting to me . It looks like my next sixteen months are going to be busy ! I feel extremely blessed to be working with these women at the NGO . This is exactly what I had hoped to come into in joining the Peace Corps . This new site gives me the opportunity to help in so many different capacities - capacitating the staff to do their jobs better , assisting people living with HIV / AIDS and improving their quality of life , helping build curriculums and programs for orphans and vulnerable children , and then creating activities for children and youth to keep them active and healthy . And , on top of all that , I get to work with people that are motivated and passionate and care about their work . This is what I asked for during my first site placement interview . I told them that I didn 't care what conditions I lived in - if I had water or electricity in my home - but that I wanted to work for a cause that I believed in and with people that were as dedicated to their mission as I would be . I can 't imagine a better way to spend the rest of my time in Peace Corps . In the end , I would never take back the time I spent in Kumakwane . Time spent with the Kums Kids and with the people from the village are among my most special memories . I was able to show Bokena how to hug , make goofy faces with Temogo , teach Elsie and Stompi Spanish , and paint Elijah 's nails . I met Lovey and started a wonderful friendship ( and stimulating book club ) . I had dogs that comforted me when I was homesick and adjusting to life in Botswana . And now ? Now it 's time for me to move forward and to do what I came here for - to help ( even more ) . Finally , true contentment . I am a daughter , a sister , and a friend . I live to travel . I love a good book and a strong cup of coffee . I believe in miracles . I smile at strangers . I think it 's always too long between hugs . And I will keep dreaming big . Disclaimer : The contents of this blog are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the U . S . Government or the Peace Corps . Copyright Notice : Except as noted , all contents of this site , including text and photographs , are owned by me , Tija Danzig . No content may be copied , reproduced , transmitted , or stored in any form without my expressed consent . For content where I have noted another site or author , please contact them directly for use .
|
Last week I spent my days observing home visits for HIV + clients enrolled in our home - based care program . What this means is that I went around the village with the Head Nurse from the Clinic and a staff member from the NGO to meet with people to assess their health and what our organization can do to help . My role in these visits would be nominal at this point - mostly to meet more community members , gain a better understanding of the issues in Gabane , see how the visits are conducted , and offer suggestions for how to help the people and how to better coordinate and carry out visits . I was both anxious and excited to be a part of this side of the organization . I have to admit , most of the visits were quite unsettling and it 's taken me a week to adequately process . Throughout training , Peace Corps threw statistics at us and discussed the many issues in Botswana but it is not the same until you have seen it with your own eyes . In a sense , I was sheltered from the reality having only seen one side before now - the gleeful children at play in the OVC centers . While it was heartbreaking to know their stories , I had not been invited into the homes to see what HIV / AIDS looks like in the raw . In actually going into the homes , I was able to clearly see the difference between simply having knowledge of something and then actually experiencing it . This reality brought my consciousness to a whole other level . As we went from home to home , greeting and meeting with clients and their families , I was struck by the magnitude of devastation that HIV / AIDS has brought to this village and the sheer poverty that exists . One household in particular paints a clear picture . Let me tell you that story : We took an off - road path that bumped and thrashed the combi around and then turned into a small compound . There was one dilapidated stone building and then overgrown weeds waist high . I thought we were turning around to go back the way we came , seeing as how there was no room to do so on the path we had taken . But then the driver turned the combi 's engine off and the Head Nurse said to me " lets go " as she opened the sliding door to get out . I was a little startled but got myself together as we approached the front door , which appeared to be nothing but a piece of tin roofing leaning up against the opening . We knocked ( " ko ko " ) and entered the one - room building . There was a young girl sitting on the floor on a blanket and a mostly naked woman laying on the bed that took up the majority of the space in the house . We were there to see the woman that was now mostly bed - ridden . She was skin and bones and more feeble than any person I have ever seen . Even still , she kept a smile on her face ( as much as she could muster anyway ) and spoke to us in a joyous tone . She told us that she had been having trouble getting to her doctor 's appointments and requested transport as it was available . We committed to help her . She then informed us that her daughter , who was sitting on the floor next to us , had just tested positive for HIV . ( Transactional sex is common here , which made me wonder : With this family so poverty stricken , could this girls ' status be a result of this ? What kind of person would take advantage of a young girl that needs help ? These are some of the issues we face every day . ) The Head Nurse talked with the teenager for some time and they agreed she would come to the Clinic for counseling and then to enroll in our program . I could have cried in that moment . Looking at this family that was so poor , meeting this mother who was so sick but who was keeping as positive an attitude as possible , and then learning that her daughter was infected too - it was so devastating . What lessons were being missed in this home ? in tThe home visits have left me with a lot of questions and some frustrations that I need to work through . I wonder about how much of an impact we , as Peace Corps Volunteers , can truly make . Real change comes from the community and from within . But I needed to be educated and shown the reality here if I am going to have any chance of helping . I need this knowledge if I am going to be effective , however difficult it may be to see . And , in the end , it has made me even more compassionate because I have seen what it does to people and to their families . This compassion is what will rededicate me when the work gets tough . These are good people and they deserve more . Many of you know that I was in a sorority in college . I was a Dee Zee - a Delta Zeta . The four years I spent in the house were among my favorite memories . I had more fun than any one person should be entitled , I made friends that turned into family , and I learned a lifetime full of lessons . I grew up there . I owe a lot of who I am today to my time in Delta Zeta . Everything about it was truly special to me . I will never forget it . That is why I am humbled to write this post . A while ago , I was approached by another Delta Zeta from my house to ask about my service . She said she was working for The Lamp , which is Delta Zeta 's national magazine , and that she wanted to publish something about my experiences in Peace Corps . We talked briefly about the work I am doing , how it has been serving abroad , and about my impressions and reactions thus far . After the interview , I went back to work on many of the things we discussed and did not give it much more thought . Yesterday evening , I received a message stating that the article about me had been published in The Lamp . I went straight to online version and this is what I found : Tija Leigh Danzig , University of Washington - Kappa 2002 , Serves in Peace Corps to Help Others . I was blown away . I feel blessed for my time in Delta Zeta , for being able to serve in Peace Corps , and for the life I have been able to live . Now I feel honored to be able to represent my sorority in a way that I believe is " becoming of a Delta Zeta " and in line with our creed ( see right ) . It is special in a way I cannot adequately express . I want to thank my sorority , especially my pledge class , for getting me to this point . To giving me courage and strength and encouraging me every step of the way . You have been there for me for a decade now and I could never thank you enough . In a simliar light , I want to share that , in coming to Botswana , I have met another Delta Zeta . I met her in Philadelphia on March 31st , when my group of eager Peace Corps Trainees prepared for our journey to Africa . Her name is Kristen Sheppard , University of Maine - Alpha Upsilon ' 04 . She is currently serving in Werda , Botswana as a Community Capacity Builder . She has become a dear friend to me and someone who I have constantly turned to for support in the past 11 months . We have a common background and are going through something extremely unique . These are the ties of sisterhood that run deep . It amazes me how , even across the world , I met another Delta Zeta and how we were able to come together under a common mission - to help others . I am really proud of Delta Zeta for helping cultivate people into the kind of citizens that feel the need to give back . It is a testament to the sorority . I feel privileged to be a part of it and to know so many wonderful Delta Zetas . Follow her service at : The Adventures of KShep . As I mentioned a few hours ago , today I held my first Computer Basics class for the staff at my NGO . I am oh so happy to report that every single staff member , including the cooks , came to the class ! Everyone was eager to learn about computers . We started the class with the absolute basics : how to turn on the computer . I realize this seems mundane to my readers from the developed world but you have to realize that , for many in Botswana , this is life . They are just starting to understand technology and most people that are much older than school - aged have had very little or no education on computers etc . They are excited , however , and asked many questions that led the class much further than the simplicity of that . After covering an array of topics from locating " My Documents " and seeing the materials I am starting to put together for them to opening and saving files , I introduced the class to their new best friend : the typing tutor . I had installed Keyblaze Typing Tutor to all of the computers in the new lab a few days ago in preparation for the class . The last half hour consisted of getting acquainted with the keyboard . Most just learned their basic finger placement but a few made it through the first two lessons ( " index finger letters " and " middle finger letters " ) . What makes this even more exciting and makes me smile with joy is that the staff stayed after class to continuing practicing their typing skills . They were so happy to be learning how to use the computer that they were laughing and squealing and smiling and high - fiving each other with each accomplishment . I was overjoyed seeing how this simple lesson was really impacting their lives . And , music to my ears , was when they asked if it was okay for them to practice in the computer lab even if I was not there . Yes , folks , this is a joyous day in the life of a PCV ! Yesterday , while I was in Gaborone at my Scout Troop meeting ( have I mentioned that I 'm leading a Scouts Troop with another PCV ? Well , I am ) , I received an sms from someone at my NGO . She asked how to log into the computer - where to type in the password and how to get it to accept the password . I quickly responded to her message and returned to my troop meeting . After a while , she messaged me again and then a few more times with simple questions , like where to find the " documents " folder and which program she should use to type a letter ( Word vs Works ) . After my meeting , I checked in with her to make sure that everything was okay and to find out if she needed me to come into the office when I got back to Gabane . She informed me that nothing was the matter but that she wanted to get acclimated to the computer and play around with things in preparation for our first computer class ( which is this afternoon ) . OH MY GOODNESS . ( Was I really hearing this ? ) She was excited to learn , so much so that she wanted to prepare herself for the class . Motivated , planning ahead , enthusiastic . . . this was music to my ears . It has been a while since I have had the opportunity to work with people like this . This is yet another thing that is making my days all the better . Truly amazing . And , with that , I 'm off to teach Computer Basics ! I want to share a couple things that I have noticed in my time here . They are in reference to some absolutely adorable revelations made by kids here that I bet you 'd never think of . Prepare to say " awww " ! Flush ToiletsThis is a pit latrine . It is essentially the same sort of pit latrine that is found all over Botswana . For many of my readers , it is most easily defined as an outhouse . In America , this sort of toilet is very uncommon ( except at music festivals or major outdoor events when we set up porta - pottys ) . Here , however , it is very widespread , as many families do not have indoor plumbing . Totally normal . This is a flush toilet . It is essentially the same sort of flush toilet that is found all over the United States . It has also been adopted around the globe , including in Botswana . Most households that have running water and indoor plumbing have similar toilets . Both of my homes in Botswana were among those with flush toilets ( albeit with their own idiosyncrasies - another story ) . Because I am so accustomed to having a flush toilet , I thought nothing of it when the kids that came over to my house asked to use the toilet . At first , they would creep into my bathroom and sit on it , do their business , and leave without flushing . After a while , I figured this out and decided to show them how to flush . The first time I flushed the toilet , the kids went running out of the bathroom screaming . They were scared of the sound and didn 't want to stick around to find out what that sound indicated . This made me giggle . Once they got used to it , however , they found the flushing to be so so so aweeesssoooommmeeee ! And then the kids would venture into the bathroom , to use the facilities I assumed , and then I wouldn 't see them again for fifteen or so minutes . But I would hear the toilet flush a half dozen times at least . They were absolutely fascinated by the flushing action , watching the water spin around and go down the drain then fill back up again . It was almost like a game . Now , this could be misinterpreted as a fun game orPosted by Have you ever wondered what a Peace Corps Volunteer does ? While this is mostly satirical , it isn 't completely off in the ( albeit exaggerated ) perceptions of what a Peace Corps Volunteer does . It made me laugh hysterically , which is why I wanted to share it . I decided to share it now because I 'm about to tell you about a particularly productive day in my life ( yesterday to be exact ) and the development in my projects in Gabane . My new house in Gabane has an electric stove . This was much to my DAC 's dismay because the country is plagued with significant power outages . Being the motherly type , she worried I would go hungry for days on end if the power went out in Gabane ( Ha ! She obviously hasn 't spent enough time with me ! Allow myself to starve ? I think not ! ) . As such , she made me bring my gas stove from Kumakwane with me to the new village ( I now have a second stove and a gas cylinder in my living room ) . Unfortunately , the attachment for the cylinder lost a piece so it leaks out gas when turned on so I 'm unable to use it until that gets fixed . Fortunately , I haven 't had a problem with electricity yet . That being said , yesterday morning I set my kettle up to boil water for coffee ( thanks again Mom ! ) when POOF - my power went out . I felt my heart whimper a little bit . I looked longingly at the gas stove , realizing I couldn 't use it but wishing that a small gas leakage into the house wouldn 't kill me ( because not having coffee just might ! ) . But fear not my fellow coffee drinkers , it was short lived . Unlike my previous 5 + day stints without electricity , this one lasted less than five minutes before I heard the hum of my refrigerator return . If this wasn 't a sign ! This was going to be a good day ! At the NGO , I was greeted by 41 smiling children eager to do our secret handshake and get underway with the lessons for the day . They were smiley and chipper and very very happy to see me . ( This , of course , makes my day all on its own because the kids are so precious . ) The morning lesson was English - my speciality - and the kids were excited to show off how well they could identify the window , door , chair , and a sundry of other things around the classroom . It is at this point that I would like to brag about how wonderful the Head Teacher is at the NGO . She is an older woman , retired from her previous life in the primary school system , and passionately dedicated to these children . She approaches each lesson with patience , kindness , and percipience . I mention this now because the children are flourishing under her tutelage . I am constantly amazed at how these children , none older than 6 , are able to understand and communicate in both Setswana and English ( and succeed in other subjects as well ) . Even those that are having a harder time grasping the lessons , are comfortable in trying and giving their best effort since she supports them so beautifully as they learn that " E " comes before " F " or that " chair " and " table " are two different objects . It is a joy to watch her teach , especially in a country where teachers are not always as diligent . This is a blessing for those children , but also for the other teachers at the NGO who are watching and learning from her and for me in getting to work with her . After the morning lessons , the Head Teacher ( who is also the Center Coordinator ) took me around Gabane to introduce me to our key partners . This included the Head Nurse and staff at the Community Clinic and the Health Post , Peer Educators , volunteers that work with our Support Group for HIV + individuals , teachers from the primary schools in the village , and , finally , the Kgosi ( village " Chief " ) and his staff . I had nearly six straight hours of meetings . I was warmly received along the way - meeting so many new people , learning about the work they are doing , and being invited to help in a plethora of ways . It was during this time that I really began to feel a part of this community and began to understand all the issues that the NGO and community faces . What 's more , I started to see where I could fit into the mix and how best I can help in all these areas . When the day was through , I sat down to plot out a schedule and figure out where to allocate time to assist ( gasp ) everyone . If I am to do all that I hope , there is very little way I will be lounging around in my bath bucket ( as pictured above ) . My days will be filled with capacitating the NGO staff , assisting with lessons plans for the Early Childhood Education Program , working with the Clinic and Health Post , leading a PACT Club at the Junior Secondary School , developing a better M & E system between the NGO and Gabane Primary School , teaching basic computer classes , working with the Segoditshane Scouts Troop , and revising Reneetswe Happy Home Care Center 's Constitution and its organizational documents . Phew . To say I have my work cut out for me is an understatement . Am I excited about this change of pace ? You betcha ! Moral of this story ? What this Peace Corps Volunteer is doing falls somewhere in the middle of all the pictures above , probably with some elements of each ( except of course the CIA thing . . . and the monkey backpack ! ) . And it looks like I am in for many more busy and happy days ahead ! This is dedicated to everyone in Bots 10 - those still in Botswana and those who have gone home to pursue something new . You all inspire me . I am so grateful to know you and to call you family . Here 's to making the most of our experiences ( wherever and whatever they may be ) ! In all honesty , I was more than a little anxious about moving to a new site . I was not looking forward to learning a new community , trying to integrate again , and starting back over from scratch . Looking back , the first two months at site were my hardest in Botswana and the thought of having to relive them was quite daunting . But , alas , these were the cards I was dealt so I was going to do my best to make the most of it . I owed that much to my service and to myself . What I realized in my first two weeks in Gabane is that I have learned a lot more in these past ten months than I could have ever imagined and that this experience has been invaluable ( especially for anyone pursuing global health / development work ) . I now know what it takes to really delve into the issues of a community and its people . I know the questions to ask and how to phrase them in order to get the information I need within the confines of cultural norms and impediments etc . I know the right people to go to in most situations and no longer need to go from person - to - person and wade through the nonsense associated with red tape and interminable levels of protocol in Botswana . Integration is easier because I am more confident with the language and with how to talk with locals . I am not afraid to talk to passerbys , to joke with people when they ask for money ( " mpha madi " ) , or invite myself ( or others ) over for tea . What took me two months ( or longer ) to figure out during my " community assessment phase " has taken me less than two weeks in this new environment . It has gotten easier and it all makes more sense this time around . I have learned how to navigate the system and life in Botswana . These were skills I had not realized I was cultivating . So the lesson I have learned that I wish to bestow on my fellow Peace Corps Volunteers ( and others ) is this : Even when you think that you are not getting anything out of your experience , and even when you feel like you are wasting time and not being fully utilized , keep your chin up ! The reality is that you are getting more out of it than you could possibly imagine . There are skills and lessons and discoveries tucked away that you never dreamed were being realized . Don 't give up , believe that it will be okay , and just trust . What you are getting out of all this may not be uncovered until later but , trust me , it is happening . I have been constantly amazed by all that I have actually gained . Last week I taught the children in my new NGO 's preschool program the " Kums Kids secret handshake " . ( Yes , I realize this makes it less " secret " but oh well - best to share the fun I think ! ) Learning the handshake - how to make a fist , when to pound it , and when to " blow it up " - made the children laugh uncontrollably . After all 41 of them could do it , we did the hokey pokey and danced around and wiggled until we fell over . It was a bonding day for the children and me . It was the first day we truly interacted and had fun together . We have been growing closer ever since . Today I started to learn their stories . Learning about the children in my community / communities has been among the things I cherish most about my time here . It is also among those that elicit extreme emotions . Today was no exception . After playing a round of " cat , cat , dog " ( read : " duck , duck , goose " but with animals the kids have seen and know about ) , I sat down with the Head Teacher to discuss the needs of the NGO . In this discussion , I learned that most of the 2 - to 6 - year - olds that we work with are orphans and come from extremely poor families . Many live with sick grandparents or hardworking uncles ( or similar family structures ) and are left to care for themselves when not at the preschool . I also found out that one of the little girls that I started to grow attached to last week just lost her mom in December and is now being raised by her teenage cousin , who is her last living relative . Understandably , this child is having an extremely hard time ( " adjusting to the loss " as the Head Teacher put it ) and is wetting herself and exuding other trauma signs . She is not alone by any means . Two other children in the class are living in a one - room house with eight other people - a hodgepodge of orphaned family members taken in and being raised by an HIV + aunt . The NGO is trying to pull together funds to help build them a new house and get them food baskets . ( This is something they did once before for another struggling family . I learned that it costs roughly US $ 3 , 000 . 00 to build a four - bedroom house in Botswana . This could make all the difference for a family like this . Amazing to think . ) The staff struggle too , as they have never received salaries and still have families and bills and basic survival needs . Things are difficult . And I 'm just beginning to know the realities in my new village . While the stories are sad , I want to also point out the positive side here , at least as I see it . For one , family members are reaching out to take in children in need . Next , my NGO and the Gabane Community have come together to offer education and services to help these families . Third , no one is giving up and everyone is pitching in to help . And lastly , I am here and I am inspired to keep these children laughing and to helping find resources to make their lives a little bit better . Their stories , however sad , are what inspire me and are the reason I am here . I am from the Pacific Northwest . I am very familiar with umbrellas and their function . Umbrellas keep you dry when it 's raining . Or at least that 's what I thought . . . Perplexing Botswana Observation # 983 is that umbrellas are for shielding you from the sun and NOT the rain . Since it started getting ridiculously hot in October , I have seen my fair share of people walking around with umbrellas . They have acted as portable shade from the blazing hot sun . I thought to myself " genius ! " and wondered if they could figure out portable air conditioners as well . It wasn 't until a few days ago that I realized it was actually the only thing the umbrellas were used for . A few days ago , much to my merriment , it rained . I had a meeting in another village so I grabbed my umbrella and started walking towards the bus stop . Halfway down the road I realized that I was the only person with an umbrella . I 'm usually the only person without one , choosing to enjoy the sunshine ( like a true Seattlite ) , and now that it 's raining , I am again alone . This seemed so strange to me . Either I have this backwards or they do , right ? Well , no , we probably both have this right given where we come from . I lived in Seattle , where sunbreaks were a blessing and rain somewhat common and they are from Botswana where it rains in the summer when the sun is so hot that it scorches your skin . Obviously we have found our own very valuable uses for the umbrella . Even still , it baffles and humors me . I think I 'm going to just carry an umbrella around all the time ( or never ? ) . Oh Botswana , you continue to surprise me ! Well , I did it . I packed up all of my things and moved down the A - 10 to the village of Gabane . It was no small task to wade through the things I brought , things left by the previous volunteer , and things gifted along the way , but I did it . And saying goodbye to my Kums Kids ? Lets just say that more than a few tears were shed during the week before I left . It was trying to say the least . But , in the light of a new day ( and looking from a new horizon , literally ) , I have to say that it all has been worth it - a true blessing . As you are aware , nearly seven months ago , the NGO that I was assigned to for my primary project at my post in Kumakwane closed down . I spent a lot of time trying to get things sorted and staff poised to reopen the center . Despite my best efforts , motivation waned . When it looked as though there was nothing more that I could do , I started investing my time in other projects in the community and its surrounding areas . I integrated as much as I could and befriended a group of wonderful children . As time went on , Peace Corps decided it was in my best interest to reassign me to a new site . This meant moving from a community that I had grown to love and starting over after close to a year in country . I was skeptical but accepted my fate . On Monday morning , my things and my life moved to Gabane . The NGO that I am now working for is called Gabane Community Home - Based Care and Early Childhood Education Center . The organization has many functions , all working towards helping the sick and vulnerable . Programs include everything from home - based care , ARV adherence , and health and wellness workshops to preschool / early childhood education , orphan care , and caregiver training and support . All staff at the NGO are volunteers , many of whom have been at the organization since it opened in 1997 . These staff members have foregone having a salary in exchange for being able to feed the children and continue to support their HIV + clients . That staff have been continually fighting to keep it afloat , overcoming a plethora of obstacles along the way . Needless to say , they are selfless , dedicated , willing , and motivated to help people . What 's more , they are extremely excited about every idea that I have and truly understand that I am there to capacitate them ( and not to do the work for them ) . As such , I am every bit as excited to teach them new skills and get them to " function at the next level " ( as they so aptly put it ) . For the past two days , I have been observing classrooms for the Early Childhood Education Program . This has given me an opportunity to watch them teach , to meet the children , and learn more about this aspect of the organization ( which appears to be the cornerstone of future projects ) . Next week , I am meeting with the Executive Committee of the NGO and then going around to meet the partners , including staff from both the clinic and the health post , as well as members of the Ministry , our Kgosi ( the village chief ) , and representatives from Pellegano Village Industries ( an artist / artisan colony in the village that is helping support our organization ) . The following week , I will do ride alongs to observe the Home - Based Care Programs and meet the Support Group members . The staff and I agreed that it would be advantageous for me to see the many factions of the organization and how they function . The more I know , the more I can help . In the past two days , however , I have already been able to start a number of beneficial projects , including : helping them brainstorm new fun and educational activities to incorporate into their lesson plans , developing a new monitoring and evaluation plan for the Early Childhood Education Program , digitizing reports and record keeping systems , teaching basic computer skills ( including typing ) , and I set up email accounts for the organization and the main volunteer staff members . We are also planning on starting proposal writing sessions in the upcoming weeks . ( In another vein , the women at the NGO are also pretty excited for me to help them make a picture wall to showcase their students and the work they are doing and also for me to do yoga with them ! ) There is a lot more to work on , which is something that is truly motivating and exciting to me . It looks like my next sixteen months are going to be busy ! I feel extremely blessed to be working with these women at the NGO . This is exactly what I had hoped to come into in joining the Peace Corps . This new site gives me the opportunity to help in so many different capacities - capacitating the staff to do their jobs better , assisting people living with HIV / AIDS and improving their quality of life , helping build curriculums and programs for orphans and vulnerable children , and then creating activities for children and youth to keep them active and healthy . And , on top of all that , I get to work with people that are motivated and passionate and care about their work . This is what I asked for during my first site placement interview . I told them that I didn 't care what conditions I lived in - if I had water or electricity in my home - but that I wanted to work for a cause that I believed in and with people that were as dedicated to their mission as I would be . I can 't imagine a better way to spend the rest of my time in Peace Corps . In the end , I would never take back the time I spent in Kumakwane . Time spent with the Kums Kids and with the people from the village are among my most special memories . I was able to show Bokena how to hug , make goofy faces with Temogo , teach Elsie and Stompi Spanish , and paint Elijah 's nails . I met Lovey and started a wonderful friendship ( and stimulating book club ) . I had dogs that comforted me when I was homesick and adjusting to life in Botswana . And now ? Now it 's time for me to move forward and to do what I came here for - to help ( even more ) . Finally , true contentment . I am a daughter , a sister , and a friend . I live to travel . I love a good book and a strong cup of coffee . I believe in miracles . I smile at strangers . I think it 's always too long between hugs . And I will keep dreaming big . Disclaimer : The contents of this blog are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the U . S . Government or the Peace Corps . Copyright Notice : Except as noted , all contents of this site , including text and photographs , are owned by me , Tija Danzig . No content may be copied , reproduced , transmitted , or stored in any form without my expressed consent . For content where I have noted another site or author , please contact them directly for use .
|
When I was 14 , I was asked what I would want as my epitaph . The best I could come up with , after a few minutes of serious thought , was " It seemed like a good idea at the time . " Twenty years later , that 's still the best I can explain about why I do anything . I don 't mean " aftermath " in a bad sense , just that I certainly owe yall one more post about Washoe . The drive home was fabulous . It was 35 and spitting snow over Donner Pass , but the roads were just wet , not icy . I 've really gotten comfortable with how my rig handles and I had no worries at all . I stopped at Gold Run , the usual rest area where I stop on 80 , but it was still 45 and raining pretty hard so I didn 't unblanket Miss Thing . I drove on down to Davis , where it was 75 and sunny , and found a shady spot to park in a shopping center . Dixie chilled out and ate hay without a bit of stress . I met Mel for lunch and I didn 't even let her sit down before I blurted out " I wanna do a hundred now ! " She laughed at me , because two years ago I couldn 't fathom riding more than 25 miles in a day ! But something she said back then really stuck with me , because it 's true and it 's worth repeating to you future endurance readers : Fifty mile riders doing an LD get to the end and think " to hell with getting back in the saddle . " Hundred mile riders doing a 50 slither off at the end and think " stick a fork in me , I 'm done . " You just go as far as you 've planned on going , period . I don 't know if I could do an elevator ride ( one where you can ride a 50 and elect to keep going for a 75 or a 100 ) , because mentally , I 'd be riding a 50 and I 'd be toast at that point . And one more , but I can 't remember who told me this - maybe ~ C ? I was really hoping that 'd be true for us , and it was . Dixie was less amped up trying to race . The second day was more calm , steady energy , just focused on heading down the trail . The only thing she did that worried me on the second day was not graze . But when she was hungry , she 'd take carrots on the go , and they seem to work as well as mouthfuls of grass . I carry a couple pounds in my pommel bags , and when I think about it , I 'll pull one out and poke her in the shoulder with it . She turns her head and slurps the carrot down or glares and me and keeps rolling , her choice . Horse Gear : I 've already packed the scrapbook , so I can 't do the side - by - side shot I 'd meant to show you , but this ride represented a total gear replacement from our first ride . Literally nothing was the same other than Funder and Dixie . It 's been piecemeal over 2 . 5 years , of course , but I slowly yet surely changed out my clothes and helmet and her saddle , tack , and footwear . This was the big test for the new Specialized Saddle . Of course it 's not ideal to take a new - to - you saddle to your first multiday , but it seemed like it 'd probably work , and you have to try your gear at new distances somehow . The saddle fit Dixie perfectly - she had the faintest bit of edema at the bottom edge of the bars , but nothing that caused her observable discomfort . Yesterday I beveled the edges with a knife - worked ok - then today I went over them with the fine side of my rasp , and they look great . The saddle made my knees very happy indeed , and I feel very secure in it , but I need to try a fleece at the Tevis Educational . I am a bad downhill rider . I hate riding downhill , and the faster I have to ride downhills the worse I hate it , so in general , I get off and run the downhills . It 's a good chance for my horse to recover , and it 's good for me , blah blah - but I can 't get off and run the first 10 miles or so of a ride . Dixie is too amped up and she 'd trample me , freak out , etc . So I had to ride some serious downgrades on Saturday . My form sucks and I let myself slip forward and bang into the pommel . It was also the first time I rode this saddle with my pommel bags attached , and I repeatedly slammed into a little seam of bag material pretty good , and I ended up with a deep bruise inside my right thigh . Then I protected and compensated for it for the rest of the rides , sigh . I need to get good enough at riding downhill at a trot / pace ( she does both , depending on the random dice roll in her head ) to stay balanced and not hurt myself for an hour or two . I think running downhill is a great plan for us , but I have to get good enough to ride downhill But after a year , I figured I deserved new boots . I couldn 't believe how black and shiny and flawless new boots were so I took a picture to immortalize the moment . They don 't look like that anymore . : ( I didn 't even bother to tape her hooves , just slapped four new Gloves on and called it good . One slipped off on Day One , but after I whacked it back on with a rock I had no more problems . The old set still has plenty of tread , but the gaiters are starting to come to bits - they 're good training boots , and one day I might foam them on for one last hoo - rah . Speaking of hooves , they absolutely respond to movement . She 's grown at least 1 / 8 " of wall since last week . Time to trim again , bah ! I got a new Save - Edge rasp when I picked up the boots , so that 'll make it slightly easier . . . I 'm rocking a lot of new biothane from American Trail Gear . I got the new breastcollar and crupper at the convention , then when I got the new saddle , I called them up and got a girth loop ( slips onto the girth , has a D - ring to attach the breastcollar , barely visible in first pic ) and biothane - caged stirrups . They 're the same EZ Ride stirrups I 'm used to , but the biothane cages are very flexible and didn 't rub annoyingly against my toes . That 's a swanky pad I 'm rocking in that picture , but I don 't think it matters . That 's a nice fitted ECP pad with neoprene waffle stuff on top , and I got it locally . I might 've gone back for a second one , but when I was paying , the women who work there started making snide comments about " those Mexicans " and I 'll be damned if I give them any more money . Just on general principles , shut your racist mouth , plus those Mexicans keep my horse clean and well - fed and VERY happy . I gave my barn guys some ride pics and a big hug , because I seriously could not do this sport without them . Anyway , so I wanted another pad for Sunday , so I stopped at Greens and Sierra Saddlery in Reno . Greens is phasing out their English stuff , but I found a totally basic thin quilted square dressage pad ( in PURPLE ) at Sierra , and it worked just fine for Sunday . A well - fitted saddle really doesn 't need much pad , just like they say ! I can 't remember if I 've done a 50 in my half - chaps before , but now I 've done 75 miles in them and they perform as advertised . I only bought them because they look so stunningly cool , so that 's high praise ; ) I did 25 miles before lunch Sunday without chaps and I didn 't get rubs , but I wouldn 't want to do the whole 50 that way . I broke my Camelbak - ripped the nozzle off dismounting - coming into the first check , but my friend was there with my old Camelbak that I 'd left at her house a year ago , so I just filled up # 2 and went on my merry way ! ( Thanks , R ! ) I didn 't want to clean the Camelbak , and it wasn 't ever hot , so I just ate handfuls of those Hammer electrolyte pills at the holds and drank 1 . 5 liters of water per loop and I was fine . I didn 't bring my crop - maybe it 's at the barn ? I don 't know - and I didn 't need it . Well , I really needed it to hit that hateful bitch in the head when she stepped on my leg at one point , but I did not need it as a go - faster tool . It 's my ugliest bruise , a big purple number just above my Achilles . FFFFFF HORSE : shakes fist : I did a terrible job eating on the trail and suffered greatly for it . I have Plans to feed myself much , much better at Tevis Edu and Sunriver , but that 's a whole other post . I did both days in my purple Merrell shoes but they were so nasty and my feet were so swollen on Sunday and I 'm really thinking about buying another pair a half - size larger for multis / 100s . It just gets easier the longer you do this , guys , and I don 't have much else to say about gear ! I don 't think I could do a 50 in jeans , but I do think I could do a 50 with water bottles instead of a camelbak , or sweats instead of tights , or ( urgh ) a bra and a t - shirt . You know what ? Death to all underwear . It 's all evil . Wear non - jean clothes , wear a damn helmet , and go ride . Posted by I couldn 't believe it at first , and I almost went back to sleep , but I 'd only thrown a cooler on D so I had to climb out of bed and put her waterproof blanket on . Then I went back to bed . At five , I was awake again . I knew I 'd made a huge mistake . In a lifetime punctuated by bad decisions , getting back on my horse in the rainy predawn gloom seemed like a top - ten bad idea . But I want to ride Tevis next year , and I want to ride Sunriver 100 this year , and I knew that I had to get the hell out of bed and cowboy up and get it done . I used my favorite mental trick and told myself I only had to ride the first loop and then I could wuss out and pull . Dixie gave me this " oh no you cannot be serious " look when I went at her with the saddle , but she didn 't bite me or kick me , and some days that 's all you can ask for . It was 45 or 50 and lightly raining , so I pulled on an extra hoodie ( see yesterday , re : no rain gear at all ) and got one leg on either side of the horse and headed to the start . Seven intrepid fools riders were assembled at the start at 6 : 30 . Twenty - one ended up starting , but the number one secret to endurance riding is to leave camp as soon as it 's time - start on time and get the hell out of the checks on time . It actually paid off for us on Sunday ! I was planning on riding Day 2 with my friend Wayne on his firey little TWH Vader . Vader is a year less seasoned than Dixie , so he 'd done the 25 on Saturday rather than try two 50s , and Vader was a fire - breathing monster at the start . We separated at the ride pics , a mile into the park , and I didn 't catch up for a couple miles . I have questionable decision - making skills at the best of times , and that morning I 'd decided that since I was cold I 'd just wear sweats over my tights instead of half - chaps . They rode up to my knees in about a mile and I spent the first loop constantly worrying about where my feet were , trying to keep the leathers from rubbing my calves . Day Two shares a lot of trail with Day One , but it 's all backwards from Day One so it really feels like you 're riding something different . I climbed up Bobcat with Connie and Lou , and Dixie really felt strong powerwalking that big canyon . We caught up to Wayne on the downhill , then Connie and Lou disappeared up Jumbo and Wayne and I stayed together for the rest of the day . The drizzle had slacked up on the climb , and the view was just gorgeous . The big valley to the left is the north end of Washoe Lake Park , and the tiny white dot on the near hill is a rider - Courtney on Max , I think . But then we got to the top of the mountain and it started to snow . I am not even kidding , it totally started spitting snow at us . Happy Cinco de Mayo , Nevada style ! Wayne and I were sick of riding so we hopped off and jogged / slid down the back of Jumbo . Wayne is a runner who 's new to endurance , so he jogs a lot more than I do , but he 's a good influence on me . The SOBs on Saturday had reminded me that I can 't climb uphills , but I know I can do the downhills , so I got off every time he did for the downhills . The climb was tough , but the downhill run gave Dixie a good chance to recover , and she felt fine when I got back on for the traverse around the back of the hills . Not a too - fresh wild mustang , but surprisingly not tired ! We wound back around to the water trough where the Dixie and I always get all shitty and resentful with each other after lunch . I 'm used to it , so I don 't even care anymore . For about an hour or two after lunch , I just hate riding and she hates going back out and we sulk slowly down the trail together . It 's the part of the day where I really honestly need another rider around to help pull us down the trail . So we just sucked our way down the south end of the lake , admiring the gorgeous views and every now and then feebly trotting to keep Vader in sight . The way I think about Day Two is : you climb Jumbo in the morning , then there 's some easy stuff and you 're back at camp . Then you head out and it 's easy and then you have to climb Cinder Mine and that 's the worst thing in the universe , but it 's literally all downhill after that . So that hill we were climbing in the video is " the easy stuff . " We worked our way up that thing and did a couple ten miles of mostly flat mostly ok sand roads and then there it was , looming like Mount Doom , waiting for us . That black thing . That 's Cinder Mine . You drop down into a valley , then climb up an absolutely endless gravel road , then you pass the mine and climb the rest of the way up an endless rocky jeep trail , then you 're at the top of the universe . Last year was hotter , and Dixie was less fit , and I thought we 'd never make it . She did her dead zombie horse plod , and she 'd stop and pant and quiver every hundred yards , and it felt like we 'd never get there . This year , Dixie was just as unhappy about the climb , but she just . kept . walking . Wayne was leading Vader up the hill , and he 'd stop and pant every half - mile or so and Dixie would stop too , but she never asked to stop and she 'd often get bored and start walking again . She was such a rockstar . One of my all - time favorite books is The Hero and The Crown by Robin McKinley . There 's this one bit where Aerin , the heroine , is climbing an endless stone staircase in a tower to confront the Big Bad , and she 's got a rash . She 's trying not to scratch the rash , and she 's trying to keep plodding up the stairs , and she 's thinking about the silly names of the gods in her pantheon . " She had been climbing forever ; she would be climbing forever . She would be a new god : the God That Climbs . It was no more improbable than some of the other gods : the God That Isn 't There , for example ( more often known as the God that Follows or the God That Goes Before ) , which was the shadow - god at midday . " We were the Team That Climbs . After Aerin defeats the Big Bad , the tower collapses ( as they do ) . " The sound of the mountain tower falling was so loud she could no longer make room for her thoughts , and so she gave up thinking and blackness hurtled past her , and heavy fragments of that blackness fell with her but did not touch her , and she wondered if she might fall forever , as she had climbed , and thus perhaps become the God That Falls , or perhaps the God That Climbs and Falls . " We were the Team That Runs Downhill Til The Human Can 't Run Anymore and Rides Downhill . But really , running and riding downhill is easy , even with a bruise on your thigh that 's bigger than your hand from your thigh slamming into the pommel . Dixie knew we were going home , and she felt good under me , and all we had to do was switchback a couple ten miles down the hill and we were back in camp . We had a fifteen minute hold , then another seven miles around the park . When we came in , Wayne and I were in 7th and 8th place and there were maybe fifteen riders total still in it . During my time as the God That Climbs , we 'd seen a few more riders come in to the water trough at the bottom of the mine road , but we hadn 't seen anybody on the long miles coming downhill back to camp . We were comfortably in 7th and 8th , and when we headed out we were feeling pretty good . The horses set up a good but tired pace , where we 'd trot / gait for 3 minutes or so then walk for a minute . We worked up the fun little winding singletrack to the north end of the park and watched a huge cloud of cold rain blow down the Sierras and over the lake toward us . It was a bit of a low point emotionally . The rain hit and it turned out to be mixed with sleet . Dixie was irritable and furious about the rain and I couldn 't let go of the reins long enough to get my ( totally inadequate ) hoodie un - velcroed off the pommel and onto me , so I just rode through it in my yellow long - sleeved running shirt . I figured if we kept trotting , I wouldn 't die of hypothermia before we got back to camp . It was a short squall and it blew over in a few minutes , and the desert air had me dried out by the time we got back in . We sort of kept not - so - secretly glancing over our shoulders , waiting for someone to catch us . When we hit the north end of the park and turned for home , the horses perked back up . They 'd been trotting out easily enough when we asked , but when we were facing the trailers again they started picking up a trot on their own . In the last two miles , Crisanne and her friend appeared out of absolutely nowhere and blew past us , bumping us back to 9th and 10th place , and we had to fight to keep the horses from galloping in behind them . ( MISSION ACCOMPLISHED ! Enough horse left to fight about running in after two days of 50s ! ) We kept checking , and at about a mile out , there was one rider visible behind us . Look , I 'm not a racer . I always knew I 'd never top 10 unless there were only 10 or 12 entries , and that 's ok . If I wanted to race , I 'd buy an Arab and race . But top - tenning would just be the icing on a very sweet weekend , and we were far enough ahead of the lone rider to make it , and . . . well , we let ' em trot the rest of the way in to top - ten . I threatened to make Wayne rock - paper - scissors me for placing , but he didn 't have a First TWH award and I did , so I let him take 9th and I got 10th . We finished at 4 : 10 , three minutes faster ( 15 minute hold vs 10 minute hold ) than on Saturday . Dixie was HANGRY ( that 's when you 're so hungry you 're angry ) so I took her by the trailer first . I stripped her tack and let her stuff her face , and when she came up for air I dragged her over to vet out . It was undeniably the worst trot - out I 've ever performed and I don 't know if I even managed to run fast enough to make her trot , but she looked good . Her back was all A 's , with just a little bit of puffiness where I need to shave the edge of the saddle pads down a bit . Her final CRI was 52 . And we got loot ! Turned out we were first middleweight too , so I ended up with a big mesh thing - I think it 's a cooler ? Cause it 's not fitted like a fly sheet ? and interference boots and a logo 'd bag that I stuffed a set of boots in . Plus Steve finally gave me our awards for last year 's NEDA rides - Dixie got 10th high mileage horse ( and I 'm super proud of that , considering we only rode half the available rides ) so I got a plaque , a NEDA tee , and a gift cert that I used on a big sturdy hay bag from Henry . And I cried . I could not stop giggling and crying . She looked SO good and she did SO well and my horse is just a stupendous badass . Tomorrow I 'll post some more : gear review , plans , the trip home , but I 've got to go do boring real life stuff now . TEAM FIXIE FOREVER ! 2013 Washoe Valley I 50 So Friday I hooked up the trailer , loaded the horse , and drove to Reno . That 's probably not the right place to start , but it 's a place . We 've got lots of boring real life stuff going on - we had visitors two weeks ago ( loved seeing you guys ! ! ) and we 're moving to Oakland in two weeks , and it 's been incredibly hard for me to concentrate on that part of my life . My husband picked up a lot of my slack , cause he 's awesome , but I still felt like my mind was revving aimlessly at 5000 rpms the whole week before the ride . But once I pried my trailer out of its impossible parking spot and loaded my horse , the fog started to clear . The best way out of Oakland is on Hwy 24 , through the Caldecott Tunnel , which is a half - mile of gut - clenching terror for me . I am a little claustrophobic , and the lanes are just wide enough for my trailer with about two feet to spare on either side , and it 's more than a half - mile long under an enormous mountain that could collapse on me at any moment , and UGH . I hate it , but it 's better than taking 580 up to the Maze in morning rush hour . The trip to Reno was smooth sailing . We stopped at Green 's Feed in north Reno to pick up a new set of Gloves I 'd ordered , plus some miscellaneous horse junk , but they didn 't have any English pads , so we had to head down to Sierra Saddlery for that . But Sierra had a purple pad ! I got to Washoe Lake State Park about 3 and snagged a prime camping spot ( right near the food crew 's trucks , beside the pavilion ) . Dixie came off the trailer , looked around once , and dove into her food like a good horse . The weather was glorious . About 70 , light breeze , blue sky as far as the eye could see . I got D braided , booted , and blanketed ; went over my game plan in my head ; went to the ride meeting ; and crashed out . We did the Sunday ride last year , but I 'd never done the Saturday ride . Dixie turns from the laziest plug of a trail horse into a fire - breathing monster at the start of a ride , so I was really glad to have a controlled start up a very large hill . We all curved around the back of the mountain and started a long climb up Ophir Grade - 1600 ' in five miles . The lower part is steady , easy going up gravel roads , and I lost a boot in there . It came off her front right foot but hung on by the gaiter , so I rode til I found a likely boulder and hopped off to fix it . They were brand - new Gloves , so there was a lot of cursing and sweating to bang it back on . Three more people came up behind me right as I got the boot seated , and thankfully they waited for me to get remounted . I walked toward the boulder , failed to lift my foot high enough , fell flat on my face on the boulder , and dropped the damn reins . Dixie trotted merrily off down the trail and one of the other riders trotted after her and caught her . She turned to come back to us with a loose horse in one hand and a water bottle in the other , and her horse did a little sideways hop and knocked her off . I 'd gotten up and moving again so I ran over and caught her horse , she caught mine , and we swapped ! After that drama , we headed on up the hill . Gina on Destiny and Nicole on Golden Knight had detoured off down a road to see if they could catch the loose horse , but it had disappeared into a grassy little valley so they gave up and came back to the trail right as I got there with my horse - catching friends . The horse - catchers and Knight pulled away up the hill , but Destiny and Dixie were climbing steadily at a good pace , so I just stuck with Gina . Look , guys , if you can ever swing riding a ride with the co - ride manager , I highly recommend it . You never even have to think about whether you 've seen a ribbon lately ! Very peaceful : ) Fire Mt . Destiny is one of those horses that just takes my breath away . He 's got 98 starts and 97 finishes . He 's a full Arab , but he 's a tank who just chews up the miles at a moderate pace forever . When I first started conditioning Dixie , I thought we 'd never be able to keep up with him , so I thought he 'd smoke us on Ophir and we 'd see them at camp . But Dixie just walked steadily up the entire hill with him , started drinking with him , and never let him out of her sight for the rest of the day . After you 're up , there 's nothing to do but go down . There 's two valleys / hills ( they say it 's three , but the third one is so small in comparison it hardly seems to matter ) called the SOBs , and they almost killed me . I got off and walked down the first one and thought I 'd tail up . Bad idea . It 's at + 6000 ' and while I can jog downhill or flat for miles , I just CANNOT climb at altitude anymore . Dixie let me tail her , and Nicole passed us again and let me tail off of Knight for a bit , but I felt like I was dying ( and I was really ready to just DIE already and get it over with ! ) Cold chills , heart palpitations , legs made of lead . Everybody , mounted and tailing , passed us and Dixie spazzed out and I kept having to sit down on rocks and gasp for breath and it sucked . I rode along the top of the hill , got off and slithered down the next one , and made Dixie carry my fat ass up the second SOB . ( Gina told me that Virginia City 100 used to be run as a giant hundred - mile loop around VC , and that you 'd hit the SOBs at Mile 92 , and people would just give up and sit down and wait to be picked up the next morning . I totally believe it . ) But after the SOBs , it 's literally all downhill to camp . I got off and ran a little more , because my new saddle was causing unexpected excruciating pains riding downhill , and before I knew it , we were back in camp . Dixie ate a bit , and I ate a bit and inspected my bruises . I 'd let myself slide forward and bang my thighs into the pommel early on , and I had a palm - sized bruise forming on my left thigh . But I had tons of horse left and it didn 't really hurt that bad , so I hopped back on and we headed out on time . The second loop goes north of the park , up Jumbo Grade on the north , to a little meadow of heaven . I stuck with Gina til we really started to climb , when a little grey Arab came trotting past and Dixie wanted to follow him , so away we went again . The grey was trotting the steep bits and recovering on the flatter bits , but I know that 's the best way to tire out my horse so I made Dixie walk the whole thing . She powerwalked all the way up Jumbo with a few breaks to pant and refuse to eat the nice green grass , then we trotted about a mile of flat into the meadow . The meadow has grass , hay , carrots , and water for the horses , plus a number - taker and beer - dispenser for the humans . We 'd lost Gina somewhere in the climb , but I knew her pace was better for Dixie than the grey 's pace , so I decided to wait til she showed up . Plus , there was beer . Nevada rides RULE ! Gina made it in about ten minutes behind me . She was a little worried that maybe Destiny was in trouble , or maybe he just wanted to turn for home instead of going on down the trail , but I told her if she didn 't mind I 'd really rather ride at her pace than go on alone . We headed out at an easy pace and finished the last big climb , then dropped down lovely Bobcat Canyon back to the park . The clouds were coming in , and we spent a lot of time looking at them and saying stuff like " They sure are getting bigger , aren 't they ? " The last time I 'd checked the weather , on like Wednesday or Thursday , there was a 20 % chance of showers on Sunday , but man , those clouds sure were getting bigger . Gina was worried it 'd rain on the awards dinner , but I was still pretty incredulous . It never rains in Nevada ! In two years there I got rained on like five times total . Pffft . The second check was a 10 - minute hold , so I just refilled my water and hit the toilet and we were out again . We had one more five - mile loop around the park and we 'd be done . It 's maybe a mile along the lake in deep sand and the rest of the loop is flat hardpacked sand roads . I love the " classic " split of 25 / 20 / 5 - when I 'm tired and just done with it , at the second hold , I know I 've only got another hour in the saddle . It 's harder for me mentally to head out a third time knowing it 'll be two or three or four more hours . We finished the ride at 4 : 02 , for a ride time of 8 : 22 if I 'm doing the math right . My " goal time " has always been 8 - 9 hours , so I was really pleasantly surprised . Dixie vetted out with a 52 or 56 CRI , I can 't really remember , but it was perfect for her - she 's never got a low base heart rate . It did rain , just a bit , at the awards dinner . We got First TWH ( out of two , but it 's such a sweet gesture to give breed awards and I totally cried and it 's a beautiful photo ) and a beautiful handmade pottery plate / dish for completion . There was pulled pork and sweet cole slaw and potatoes and I ate til I hurt , but the food sure perked me up . My bruise grew to the size of my hand . I made sure Dixie was eating and crashed out pretty early , under cloudy skies . Coming up : Sunday Funday ! This is Dixie , before and after doing back - to - back 50s at Washoe Valley this weekend . I have so many words about the weekend ! Two big posts are coming , but I wanted to give you a little teaser first . Posted by
|
When I was 14 , I was asked what I would want as my epitaph . The best I could come up with , after a few minutes of serious thought , was " It seemed like a good idea at the time . " Twenty years later , that 's still the best I can explain about why I do anything . I don 't mean " aftermath " in a bad sense , just that I certainly owe yall one more post about Washoe . The drive home was fabulous . It was 35 and spitting snow over Donner Pass , but the roads were just wet , not icy . I 've really gotten comfortable with how my rig handles and I had no worries at all . I stopped at Gold Run , the usual rest area where I stop on 80 , but it was still 45 and raining pretty hard so I didn 't unblanket Miss Thing . I drove on down to Davis , where it was 75 and sunny , and found a shady spot to park in a shopping center . Dixie chilled out and ate hay without a bit of stress . I met Mel for lunch and I didn 't even let her sit down before I blurted out " I wanna do a hundred now ! " She laughed at me , because two years ago I couldn 't fathom riding more than 25 miles in a day ! But something she said back then really stuck with me , because it 's true and it 's worth repeating to you future endurance readers : Fifty mile riders doing an LD get to the end and think " to hell with getting back in the saddle . " Hundred mile riders doing a 50 slither off at the end and think " stick a fork in me , I 'm done . " You just go as far as you 've planned on going , period . I don 't know if I could do an elevator ride ( one where you can ride a 50 and elect to keep going for a 75 or a 100 ) , because mentally , I 'd be riding a 50 and I 'd be toast at that point . And one more , but I can 't remember who told me this - maybe ~ C ? I was really hoping that 'd be true for us , and it was . Dixie was less amped up trying to race . The second day was more calm , steady energy , just focused on heading down the trail . The only thing she did that worried me on the second day was not graze . But when she was hungry , she 'd take carrots on the go , and they seem to work as well as mouthfuls of grass . I carry a couple pounds in my pommel bags , and when I think about it , I 'll pull one out and poke her in the shoulder with it . She turns her head and slurps the carrot down or glares and me and keeps rolling , her choice . Horse Gear : I 've already packed the scrapbook , so I can 't do the side - by - side shot I 'd meant to show you , but this ride represented a total gear replacement from our first ride . Literally nothing was the same other than Funder and Dixie . It 's been piecemeal over 2 . 5 years , of course , but I slowly yet surely changed out my clothes and helmet and her saddle , tack , and footwear . This was the big test for the new Specialized Saddle . Of course it 's not ideal to take a new - to - you saddle to your first multiday , but it seemed like it 'd probably work , and you have to try your gear at new distances somehow . The saddle fit Dixie perfectly - she had the faintest bit of edema at the bottom edge of the bars , but nothing that caused her observable discomfort . Yesterday I beveled the edges with a knife - worked ok - then today I went over them with the fine side of my rasp , and they look great . The saddle made my knees very happy indeed , and I feel very secure in it , but I need to try a fleece at the Tevis Educational . I am a bad downhill rider . I hate riding downhill , and the faster I have to ride downhills the worse I hate it , so in general , I get off and run the downhills . It 's a good chance for my horse to recover , and it 's good for me , blah blah - but I can 't get off and run the first 10 miles or so of a ride . Dixie is too amped up and she 'd trample me , freak out , etc . So I had to ride some serious downgrades on Saturday . My form sucks and I let myself slip forward and bang into the pommel . It was also the first time I rode this saddle with my pommel bags attached , and I repeatedly slammed into a little seam of bag material pretty good , and I ended up with a deep bruise inside my right thigh . Then I protected and compensated for it for the rest of the rides , sigh . I need to get good enough at riding downhill at a trot / pace ( she does both , depending on the random dice roll in her head ) to stay balanced and not hurt myself for an hour or two . I think running downhill is a great plan for us , but I have to get good enough to ride downhill But after a year , I figured I deserved new boots . I couldn 't believe how black and shiny and flawless new boots were so I took a picture to immortalize the moment . They don 't look like that anymore . : ( I didn 't even bother to tape her hooves , just slapped four new Gloves on and called it good . One slipped off on Day One , but after I whacked it back on with a rock I had no more problems . The old set still has plenty of tread , but the gaiters are starting to come to bits - they 're good training boots , and one day I might foam them on for one last hoo - rah . Speaking of hooves , they absolutely respond to movement . She 's grown at least 1 / 8 " of wall since last week . Time to trim again , bah ! I got a new Save - Edge rasp when I picked up the boots , so that 'll make it slightly easier . . . I 'm rocking a lot of new biothane from American Trail Gear . I got the new breastcollar and crupper at the convention , then when I got the new saddle , I called them up and got a girth loop ( slips onto the girth , has a D - ring to attach the breastcollar , barely visible in first pic ) and biothane - caged stirrups . They 're the same EZ Ride stirrups I 'm used to , but the biothane cages are very flexible and didn 't rub annoyingly against my toes . That 's a swanky pad I 'm rocking in that picture , but I don 't think it matters . That 's a nice fitted ECP pad with neoprene waffle stuff on top , and I got it locally . I might 've gone back for a second one , but when I was paying , the women who work there started making snide comments about " those Mexicans " and I 'll be damned if I give them any more money . Just on general principles , shut your racist mouth , plus those Mexicans keep my horse clean and well - fed and VERY happy . I gave my barn guys some ride pics and a big hug , because I seriously could not do this sport without them . Anyway , so I wanted another pad for Sunday , so I stopped at Greens and Sierra Saddlery in Reno . Greens is phasing out their English stuff , but I found a totally basic thin quilted square dressage pad ( in PURPLE ) at Sierra , and it worked just fine for Sunday . A well - fitted saddle really doesn 't need much pad , just like they say ! I can 't remember if I 've done a 50 in my half - chaps before , but now I 've done 75 miles in them and they perform as advertised . I only bought them because they look so stunningly cool , so that 's high praise ; ) I did 25 miles before lunch Sunday without chaps and I didn 't get rubs , but I wouldn 't want to do the whole 50 that way . I broke my Camelbak - ripped the nozzle off dismounting - coming into the first check , but my friend was there with my old Camelbak that I 'd left at her house a year ago , so I just filled up # 2 and went on my merry way ! ( Thanks , R ! ) I didn 't want to clean the Camelbak , and it wasn 't ever hot , so I just ate handfuls of those Hammer electrolyte pills at the holds and drank 1 . 5 liters of water per loop and I was fine . I didn 't bring my crop - maybe it 's at the barn ? I don 't know - and I didn 't need it . Well , I really needed it to hit that hateful bitch in the head when she stepped on my leg at one point , but I did not need it as a go - faster tool . It 's my ugliest bruise , a big purple number just above my Achilles . FFFFFF HORSE : shakes fist : I did a terrible job eating on the trail and suffered greatly for it . I have Plans to feed myself much , much better at Tevis Edu and Sunriver , but that 's a whole other post . I did both days in my purple Merrell shoes but they were so nasty and my feet were so swollen on Sunday and I 'm really thinking about buying another pair a half - size larger for multis / 100s . It just gets easier the longer you do this , guys , and I don 't have much else to say about gear ! I don 't think I could do a 50 in jeans , but I do think I could do a 50 with water bottles instead of a camelbak , or sweats instead of tights , or ( urgh ) a bra and a t - shirt . You know what ? Death to all underwear . It 's all evil . Wear non - jean clothes , wear a damn helmet , and go ride . Posted by I couldn 't believe it at first , and I almost went back to sleep , but I 'd only thrown a cooler on D so I had to climb out of bed and put her waterproof blanket on . Then I went back to bed . At five , I was awake again . I knew I 'd made a huge mistake . In a lifetime punctuated by bad decisions , getting back on my horse in the rainy predawn gloom seemed like a top - ten bad idea . But I want to ride Tevis next year , and I want to ride Sunriver 100 this year , and I knew that I had to get the hell out of bed and cowboy up and get it done . I used my favorite mental trick and told myself I only had to ride the first loop and then I could wuss out and pull . Dixie gave me this " oh no you cannot be serious " look when I went at her with the saddle , but she didn 't bite me or kick me , and some days that 's all you can ask for . It was 45 or 50 and lightly raining , so I pulled on an extra hoodie ( see yesterday , re : no rain gear at all ) and got one leg on either side of the horse and headed to the start . Seven intrepid fools riders were assembled at the start at 6 : 30 . Twenty - one ended up starting , but the number one secret to endurance riding is to leave camp as soon as it 's time - start on time and get the hell out of the checks on time . It actually paid off for us on Sunday ! I was planning on riding Day 2 with my friend Wayne on his firey little TWH Vader . Vader is a year less seasoned than Dixie , so he 'd done the 25 on Saturday rather than try two 50s , and Vader was a fire - breathing monster at the start . We separated at the ride pics , a mile into the park , and I didn 't catch up for a couple miles . I have questionable decision - making skills at the best of times , and that morning I 'd decided that since I was cold I 'd just wear sweats over my tights instead of half - chaps . They rode up to my knees in about a mile and I spent the first loop constantly worrying about where my feet were , trying to keep the leathers from rubbing my calves . Day Two shares a lot of trail with Day One , but it 's all backwards from Day One so it really feels like you 're riding something different . I climbed up Bobcat with Connie and Lou , and Dixie really felt strong powerwalking that big canyon . We caught up to Wayne on the downhill , then Connie and Lou disappeared up Jumbo and Wayne and I stayed together for the rest of the day . The drizzle had slacked up on the climb , and the view was just gorgeous . The big valley to the left is the north end of Washoe Lake Park , and the tiny white dot on the near hill is a rider - Courtney on Max , I think . But then we got to the top of the mountain and it started to snow . I am not even kidding , it totally started spitting snow at us . Happy Cinco de Mayo , Nevada style ! Wayne and I were sick of riding so we hopped off and jogged / slid down the back of Jumbo . Wayne is a runner who 's new to endurance , so he jogs a lot more than I do , but he 's a good influence on me . The SOBs on Saturday had reminded me that I can 't climb uphills , but I know I can do the downhills , so I got off every time he did for the downhills . The climb was tough , but the downhill run gave Dixie a good chance to recover , and she felt fine when I got back on for the traverse around the back of the hills . Not a too - fresh wild mustang , but surprisingly not tired ! We wound back around to the water trough where the Dixie and I always get all shitty and resentful with each other after lunch . I 'm used to it , so I don 't even care anymore . For about an hour or two after lunch , I just hate riding and she hates going back out and we sulk slowly down the trail together . It 's the part of the day where I really honestly need another rider around to help pull us down the trail . So we just sucked our way down the south end of the lake , admiring the gorgeous views and every now and then feebly trotting to keep Vader in sight . The way I think about Day Two is : you climb Jumbo in the morning , then there 's some easy stuff and you 're back at camp . Then you head out and it 's easy and then you have to climb Cinder Mine and that 's the worst thing in the universe , but it 's literally all downhill after that . So that hill we were climbing in the video is " the easy stuff . " We worked our way up that thing and did a couple ten miles of mostly flat mostly ok sand roads and then there it was , looming like Mount Doom , waiting for us . That black thing . That 's Cinder Mine . You drop down into a valley , then climb up an absolutely endless gravel road , then you pass the mine and climb the rest of the way up an endless rocky jeep trail , then you 're at the top of the universe . Last year was hotter , and Dixie was less fit , and I thought we 'd never make it . She did her dead zombie horse plod , and she 'd stop and pant and quiver every hundred yards , and it felt like we 'd never get there . This year , Dixie was just as unhappy about the climb , but she just . kept . walking . Wayne was leading Vader up the hill , and he 'd stop and pant every half - mile or so and Dixie would stop too , but she never asked to stop and she 'd often get bored and start walking again . She was such a rockstar . One of my all - time favorite books is The Hero and The Crown by Robin McKinley . There 's this one bit where Aerin , the heroine , is climbing an endless stone staircase in a tower to confront the Big Bad , and she 's got a rash . She 's trying not to scratch the rash , and she 's trying to keep plodding up the stairs , and she 's thinking about the silly names of the gods in her pantheon . " She had been climbing forever ; she would be climbing forever . She would be a new god : the God That Climbs . It was no more improbable than some of the other gods : the God That Isn 't There , for example ( more often known as the God that Follows or the God That Goes Before ) , which was the shadow - god at midday . " We were the Team That Climbs . After Aerin defeats the Big Bad , the tower collapses ( as they do ) . " The sound of the mountain tower falling was so loud she could no longer make room for her thoughts , and so she gave up thinking and blackness hurtled past her , and heavy fragments of that blackness fell with her but did not touch her , and she wondered if she might fall forever , as she had climbed , and thus perhaps become the God That Falls , or perhaps the God That Climbs and Falls . " We were the Team That Runs Downhill Til The Human Can 't Run Anymore and Rides Downhill . But really , running and riding downhill is easy , even with a bruise on your thigh that 's bigger than your hand from your thigh slamming into the pommel . Dixie knew we were going home , and she felt good under me , and all we had to do was switchback a couple ten miles down the hill and we were back in camp . We had a fifteen minute hold , then another seven miles around the park . When we came in , Wayne and I were in 7th and 8th place and there were maybe fifteen riders total still in it . During my time as the God That Climbs , we 'd seen a few more riders come in to the water trough at the bottom of the mine road , but we hadn 't seen anybody on the long miles coming downhill back to camp . We were comfortably in 7th and 8th , and when we headed out we were feeling pretty good . The horses set up a good but tired pace , where we 'd trot / gait for 3 minutes or so then walk for a minute . We worked up the fun little winding singletrack to the north end of the park and watched a huge cloud of cold rain blow down the Sierras and over the lake toward us . It was a bit of a low point emotionally . The rain hit and it turned out to be mixed with sleet . Dixie was irritable and furious about the rain and I couldn 't let go of the reins long enough to get my ( totally inadequate ) hoodie un - velcroed off the pommel and onto me , so I just rode through it in my yellow long - sleeved running shirt . I figured if we kept trotting , I wouldn 't die of hypothermia before we got back to camp . It was a short squall and it blew over in a few minutes , and the desert air had me dried out by the time we got back in . We sort of kept not - so - secretly glancing over our shoulders , waiting for someone to catch us . When we hit the north end of the park and turned for home , the horses perked back up . They 'd been trotting out easily enough when we asked , but when we were facing the trailers again they started picking up a trot on their own . In the last two miles , Crisanne and her friend appeared out of absolutely nowhere and blew past us , bumping us back to 9th and 10th place , and we had to fight to keep the horses from galloping in behind them . ( MISSION ACCOMPLISHED ! Enough horse left to fight about running in after two days of 50s ! ) We kept checking , and at about a mile out , there was one rider visible behind us . Look , I 'm not a racer . I always knew I 'd never top 10 unless there were only 10 or 12 entries , and that 's ok . If I wanted to race , I 'd buy an Arab and race . But top - tenning would just be the icing on a very sweet weekend , and we were far enough ahead of the lone rider to make it , and . . . well , we let ' em trot the rest of the way in to top - ten . I threatened to make Wayne rock - paper - scissors me for placing , but he didn 't have a First TWH award and I did , so I let him take 9th and I got 10th . We finished at 4 : 10 , three minutes faster ( 15 minute hold vs 10 minute hold ) than on Saturday . Dixie was HANGRY ( that 's when you 're so hungry you 're angry ) so I took her by the trailer first . I stripped her tack and let her stuff her face , and when she came up for air I dragged her over to vet out . It was undeniably the worst trot - out I 've ever performed and I don 't know if I even managed to run fast enough to make her trot , but she looked good . Her back was all A 's , with just a little bit of puffiness where I need to shave the edge of the saddle pads down a bit . Her final CRI was 52 . And we got loot ! Turned out we were first middleweight too , so I ended up with a big mesh thing - I think it 's a cooler ? Cause it 's not fitted like a fly sheet ? and interference boots and a logo 'd bag that I stuffed a set of boots in . Plus Steve finally gave me our awards for last year 's NEDA rides - Dixie got 10th high mileage horse ( and I 'm super proud of that , considering we only rode half the available rides ) so I got a plaque , a NEDA tee , and a gift cert that I used on a big sturdy hay bag from Henry . And I cried . I could not stop giggling and crying . She looked SO good and she did SO well and my horse is just a stupendous badass . Tomorrow I 'll post some more : gear review , plans , the trip home , but I 've got to go do boring real life stuff now . TEAM FIXIE FOREVER ! 2013 Washoe Valley I 50 So Friday I hooked up the trailer , loaded the horse , and drove to Reno . That 's probably not the right place to start , but it 's a place . We 've got lots of boring real life stuff going on - we had visitors two weeks ago ( loved seeing you guys ! ! ) and we 're moving to Oakland in two weeks , and it 's been incredibly hard for me to concentrate on that part of my life . My husband picked up a lot of my slack , cause he 's awesome , but I still felt like my mind was revving aimlessly at 5000 rpms the whole week before the ride . But once I pried my trailer out of its impossible parking spot and loaded my horse , the fog started to clear . The best way out of Oakland is on Hwy 24 , through the Caldecott Tunnel , which is a half - mile of gut - clenching terror for me . I am a little claustrophobic , and the lanes are just wide enough for my trailer with about two feet to spare on either side , and it 's more than a half - mile long under an enormous mountain that could collapse on me at any moment , and UGH . I hate it , but it 's better than taking 580 up to the Maze in morning rush hour . The trip to Reno was smooth sailing . We stopped at Green 's Feed in north Reno to pick up a new set of Gloves I 'd ordered , plus some miscellaneous horse junk , but they didn 't have any English pads , so we had to head down to Sierra Saddlery for that . But Sierra had a purple pad ! I got to Washoe Lake State Park about 3 and snagged a prime camping spot ( right near the food crew 's trucks , beside the pavilion ) . Dixie came off the trailer , looked around once , and dove into her food like a good horse . The weather was glorious . About 70 , light breeze , blue sky as far as the eye could see . I got D braided , booted , and blanketed ; went over my game plan in my head ; went to the ride meeting ; and crashed out . We did the Sunday ride last year , but I 'd never done the Saturday ride . Dixie turns from the laziest plug of a trail horse into a fire - breathing monster at the start of a ride , so I was really glad to have a controlled start up a very large hill . We all curved around the back of the mountain and started a long climb up Ophir Grade - 1600 ' in five miles . The lower part is steady , easy going up gravel roads , and I lost a boot in there . It came off her front right foot but hung on by the gaiter , so I rode til I found a likely boulder and hopped off to fix it . They were brand - new Gloves , so there was a lot of cursing and sweating to bang it back on . Three more people came up behind me right as I got the boot seated , and thankfully they waited for me to get remounted . I walked toward the boulder , failed to lift my foot high enough , fell flat on my face on the boulder , and dropped the damn reins . Dixie trotted merrily off down the trail and one of the other riders trotted after her and caught her . She turned to come back to us with a loose horse in one hand and a water bottle in the other , and her horse did a little sideways hop and knocked her off . I 'd gotten up and moving again so I ran over and caught her horse , she caught mine , and we swapped ! After that drama , we headed on up the hill . Gina on Destiny and Nicole on Golden Knight had detoured off down a road to see if they could catch the loose horse , but it had disappeared into a grassy little valley so they gave up and came back to the trail right as I got there with my horse - catching friends . The horse - catchers and Knight pulled away up the hill , but Destiny and Dixie were climbing steadily at a good pace , so I just stuck with Gina . Look , guys , if you can ever swing riding a ride with the co - ride manager , I highly recommend it . You never even have to think about whether you 've seen a ribbon lately ! Very peaceful : ) Fire Mt . Destiny is one of those horses that just takes my breath away . He 's got 98 starts and 97 finishes . He 's a full Arab , but he 's a tank who just chews up the miles at a moderate pace forever . When I first started conditioning Dixie , I thought we 'd never be able to keep up with him , so I thought he 'd smoke us on Ophir and we 'd see them at camp . But Dixie just walked steadily up the entire hill with him , started drinking with him , and never let him out of her sight for the rest of the day . After you 're up , there 's nothing to do but go down . There 's two valleys / hills ( they say it 's three , but the third one is so small in comparison it hardly seems to matter ) called the SOBs , and they almost killed me . I got off and walked down the first one and thought I 'd tail up . Bad idea . It 's at + 6000 ' and while I can jog downhill or flat for miles , I just CANNOT climb at altitude anymore . Dixie let me tail her , and Nicole passed us again and let me tail off of Knight for a bit , but I felt like I was dying ( and I was really ready to just DIE already and get it over with ! ) Cold chills , heart palpitations , legs made of lead . Everybody , mounted and tailing , passed us and Dixie spazzed out and I kept having to sit down on rocks and gasp for breath and it sucked . I rode along the top of the hill , got off and slithered down the next one , and made Dixie carry my fat ass up the second SOB . ( Gina told me that Virginia City 100 used to be run as a giant hundred - mile loop around VC , and that you 'd hit the SOBs at Mile 92 , and people would just give up and sit down and wait to be picked up the next morning . I totally believe it . ) But after the SOBs , it 's literally all downhill to camp . I got off and ran a little more , because my new saddle was causing unexpected excruciating pains riding downhill , and before I knew it , we were back in camp . Dixie ate a bit , and I ate a bit and inspected my bruises . I 'd let myself slide forward and bang my thighs into the pommel early on , and I had a palm - sized bruise forming on my left thigh . But I had tons of horse left and it didn 't really hurt that bad , so I hopped back on and we headed out on time . The second loop goes north of the park , up Jumbo Grade on the north , to a little meadow of heaven . I stuck with Gina til we really started to climb , when a little grey Arab came trotting past and Dixie wanted to follow him , so away we went again . The grey was trotting the steep bits and recovering on the flatter bits , but I know that 's the best way to tire out my horse so I made Dixie walk the whole thing . She powerwalked all the way up Jumbo with a few breaks to pant and refuse to eat the nice green grass , then we trotted about a mile of flat into the meadow . The meadow has grass , hay , carrots , and water for the horses , plus a number - taker and beer - dispenser for the humans . We 'd lost Gina somewhere in the climb , but I knew her pace was better for Dixie than the grey 's pace , so I decided to wait til she showed up . Plus , there was beer . Nevada rides RULE ! Gina made it in about ten minutes behind me . She was a little worried that maybe Destiny was in trouble , or maybe he just wanted to turn for home instead of going on down the trail , but I told her if she didn 't mind I 'd really rather ride at her pace than go on alone . We headed out at an easy pace and finished the last big climb , then dropped down lovely Bobcat Canyon back to the park . The clouds were coming in , and we spent a lot of time looking at them and saying stuff like " They sure are getting bigger , aren 't they ? " The last time I 'd checked the weather , on like Wednesday or Thursday , there was a 20 % chance of showers on Sunday , but man , those clouds sure were getting bigger . Gina was worried it 'd rain on the awards dinner , but I was still pretty incredulous . It never rains in Nevada ! In two years there I got rained on like five times total . Pffft . The second check was a 10 - minute hold , so I just refilled my water and hit the toilet and we were out again . We had one more five - mile loop around the park and we 'd be done . It 's maybe a mile along the lake in deep sand and the rest of the loop is flat hardpacked sand roads . I love the " classic " split of 25 / 20 / 5 - when I 'm tired and just done with it , at the second hold , I know I 've only got another hour in the saddle . It 's harder for me mentally to head out a third time knowing it 'll be two or three or four more hours . We finished the ride at 4 : 02 , for a ride time of 8 : 22 if I 'm doing the math right . My " goal time " has always been 8 - 9 hours , so I was really pleasantly surprised . Dixie vetted out with a 52 or 56 CRI , I can 't really remember , but it was perfect for her - she 's never got a low base heart rate . It did rain , just a bit , at the awards dinner . We got First TWH ( out of two , but it 's such a sweet gesture to give breed awards and I totally cried and it 's a beautiful photo ) and a beautiful handmade pottery plate / dish for completion . There was pulled pork and sweet cole slaw and potatoes and I ate til I hurt , but the food sure perked me up . My bruise grew to the size of my hand . I made sure Dixie was eating and crashed out pretty early , under cloudy skies . Coming up : Sunday Funday ! This is Dixie , before and after doing back - to - back 50s at Washoe Valley this weekend . I have so many words about the weekend ! Two big posts are coming , but I wanted to give you a little teaser first . Posted by
|
Our final transfer was in May . We had had enough time to prepare ourselves as best we could for whatever the outcome would be . It is impossible , though , to prepare yourself for the reality of something like this . The transfer failed . We knew that could happen . We knew it was likely to happen but , of course , we didn 't want that to be our reality . It is our reality . To be honest , I don 't really have much else to say about it . Of course it 's devastating , heartbreaking , and horrible . We have been through this before . I guess the one good thing about going through multiple heartbreaks is that we have learned how we grieve , how each other grieves , and how to support each other through it . We are okay . We are tough and strong and have been through enough to know that no matter how we feel , no matter what we do , no matter what happens , this day will turn into night , and then the sun will rise tomorrow , and again the next day . Ryan and I refuse to let our lives be defined by heartache . Life will continue . We know we cannot give in to defeat until our last breath . We also refuse to lose any more of our life to this . Please don 't get me wrong , we are grieving , and are allowing ourselves to grieve . It 's just that this time we were anticipating it . We had a lot of time to soul search while waiting for the news . We are hopeful that maybe one day in the future , as long as my health stays as it is , that we may be able to afford another cycle and try one more time for our biological child . Tomorrow is not promised and there are no guarantees in life , but we are hopeful that the stars will align for us to be able to try again one day . We don 't have words to describe our gratitude for Heather , who has literally put her own life on hold for an entire year , just to give us a shot at having a biological baby . She was incredible every step of the way , being positive for us , cheering us on , grieving our losses with us , and being there as a friend and sister . There is still nothing we could give her , or say to her that would adequately let her know how much we love and appreciate her and everything she has done for us . We are also so incredibly thankful for the rest of our family and extended family who have supported us every step of the way . We have been so blessed with love and support from our friends , and from complete strangers . The messages of encouragement and thoughts of love that have come our way have been from people I would never have expected , and from places in the world I could never have imagined . This journey has been more than unbelievable and we are so thankful for it all . One thing Ryan and I have been saying , as we try to pick up the pieces and move on with our life , is that we have a very good life . We have one major thing that is awful and heavy and filled with pain , but it is just one thing . The rest of our life is pretty wonderful , so we are trying to focus on that , to remember that , and to let that be our source of strength . There is more to the story , though … more than the news that our last embryo didn 't make it . Life is ironic and either doesn 't make any sense , or makes complete sense , which one I am not yet sure . When our embryos died in 2014 we thought that was the end of our path to having a biological child . We were beside ourselves with devastation and grief . So when I say we have been at this place before , we truly have , which gives us a frame of reference as we go through this experience now . And though it took a very long time , we got to a point of acceptance back then too , and we became okay again . So now we know we will be okay this time too . We applied for adoption the last time . Of course we wanted a biological child , but we want more than one child , and we want to be parents most of all . We completed all of the steps in the adoption journey then except for our home - study , for which we have been waiting a year and a half . As irony would have it , the day we got the go - ahead for the final transfer , we also heard we would soon finally get to start our home - study . Then , the day before our blood work , the same day we decided to do a home - pregnancy test to prepare ourselves for the blood work the next day , we got the email saying we could book our first home - study meeting . I don 't know if things happen for a reason . I don 't like to think that 's the case because I don 't want to believe we lost our babies for a reason , or that I have a heart condition for a reason , or that anything else unfair and shitty happens for some secret reason . But it 's also hard for me to believe that it doesn 't all happen for a reason . The timing of everything that has happened has been unbelievable and I couldn 't have predicted any of it . So , while we have been dealing with the reality that we have no embryos left , and that our path to having a biological child is , for now , over , we have also been trying to prepare ourselves to move on as a childless couple , and also trying to prepare ourselves to do a home - study and enter the world of waiting for a child through adoption . We have decided to move on with our life as though we will be childless . This is not what either of us really wants but , for the sake of living life now and making memories , we have to . The theme of our book of life and our marriage seems to be one of love , gratitude and unpredictability . Another chapter has closed but the story is far from over . I have no idea what will happen next , but I know it will be interesting ! Posted by I fought for a very long time to beat the odds and I denied it . I allowed myself to believe that it was my heart condition and nothing else that was leading us down this road . But I get it now . And it 's OK . My Dad always told me to think about my life like a book in which I am the main character . I 've never written anything that I couldn 't control or erase . But I should have listened more deeply . I should have read between the lines in what he was saying . I was born with a heart condition ; main character or not , I couldn 't erase or control that . The story - line was written for me all along , and all I can do is edit it . I am the main character , but I am not the writer , I am the editor . I only know what has already happened . I can edit those chapters all I want , but it won 't change the story - line . I can reflect and analyze , I can grieve and appreciate . But I cannot change it . And , although we cannot just write / edit the next chapters all the way to the end in any direct way or however we might like , we can see / sense where the storyline is going . If we 're really tuned in , we learn to notice and appreciate what a wonderful experience having a human life really is , in all of its highs and lows . Most of all , I think our job is to figure out who that main character is , and then be true to him / her . There is no way to know what happens next . No matter how much planning , organizing , overthinking , analyzing , researching , or worrying I do , the story will be what it will be . It is already written , I just can 't read it yet . What I can do is edit , control , how I react and how I live day to day . I believe we can only affect the storyline of our book of life if we have a clear sense of who the main character is . The rest flows from that . It 's largely a matter of staying " in character " in the moment . Yesterday built that character , though it is an ongoing project , but yesterday is lost to change . We learn from it , or we tend to get lost in it . Infertility is a part of my story . It is the chapter I am in right now . But it is not the entire book . As for the future , there really isn 't one ! There 's only today . I think more than worry , planning , fretting , bargaining with God , or whatever else we might want to try in order to edit out all the unsavoury stuff in the present , or that we fear will befall us in the imaginary future , that just knowing , loving , respecting , and having faith in ourselves , as the main character , we will have a huge effect on how we experience life , no matter what it 's circumstances . There are days when I feel like I will not go on . There are days when I wonder how I have made it this far . But there are also days when I feel like I have already taken on the world and I am unstoppable . This book I am in , this life , is so precious , so wonderful , so amazingly scary . I am grateful for my story - line . I am grateful for the chapters I have already lived . I have seen suffering and pain , and I have seen unconditional love and compassion . Although I wish the infertility chapter was over already , I am grateful for it . I wouldn 't change it because I know that the rest of the story is already written and there will be beauty in it . This is the best book I could be in , and I am excited to edit and live the rest of it . I think we choose at some point whether we 're going to be a tragic figure , a hero , a victim , or whatever . And then we feed that character and , of course , what you feed grows and what you starve will die . So , I think it 's crucial to just focus on being the wonderful main character you want to be in every moment and leave the rest to the universe to figure out . If I was able to write the book myself , I probably would have excluded , changed , and added many many things . But those changes would ultimately write a completely different story . And I would be a different character . And the other people in my life would then be different . And I wouldn 't recognize any of it . And so , I am thankful for this life , this path , this story . It will turn out OK in the end . And if it doesn 't , it will be the most beautiful tragedy I could ever have been a part of . I was really hoping that the next time I updated this I would FINALLY be sharing good news . Every single step possible to bring that outcome was taken and my fingers were crossed . The result , however , is more disappointing news . Not long after our miscarriage in January , we began to look toward the next transfer , the next chance at bringing this incredibly loved and wanted baby into the world . Although Ryan and I had a ton of fear , Heather had a ton of hope and confidence ; we appreciated that and followed her lead . Heather and I researched even deeper into the things that we ( she ) could do to help this pregnancy be the one . She was willing to do whatever I asked , and she found things herself that she wanted to do to help . She was taking extra vitamins , drinking and eating things that are supposed to increase uterine lining thickness and help with implantation , went to acupuncture , and even wore 4 - leaf clover socks for extra " luck " on the day of the transfer ( and I had matching ones ) . We / she did everything ; we hoped and wished . We considered every single little symptom and we allowed ourselves to dream , just a little , about this working out . Heather took some at - home pregnancy tests during our " two week wait . " A couple at the beginning were negative , but we justified those by saying it could be too early . Over the next few days they came back inconclusive … very faint lines but nothing dark enough to get us really excited . Then , the day before going in for the blood work she took another one : negative . We knew ; we all knew . I took the day off because I knew I would be a wreck waiting for the call to confirm what we already knew . I am glad I did because we were right , the blood work did confirm it . We were not pregnant . This transfer , too , failed . It is absolutely impossible for me to describe the emotions of this journey . It is too deep , too close to our hearts to truly be understood . Just know that it is devastating . I have carried an incredible amount of guilt on my shoulders for bringing Ryan into my messy world , for letting him love me when I knew the life I would give him wouldn 't be easy . I carry guilt for bringing his family into it . I carry guilt for all the people who have helped us along the way , yet we have nothing to show for it . And now , although Heather would be in my mess anyway because she is family , I feel immensely guilty for allowing her to become so deeply involved . It breaks my heart watching her heart break along with ours . There are so many layers and facets to this whole thing . It is not as simple as Heather getting pregnant and carrying our baby . We have now had two losses with her . She has experienced those losses with us , even more so than our extended families and our friends because she is the one taking the hormones every day , taking the pee tests , going for blood work , putting her entire life on hold just for us to have a chance . She carried our baby in her body for weeks . She attempted to do it again , and is fully committed to trying one last time with our final embryo . Loving Heather , appreciating her , and being thankful for her are just not enough to describe how we feel about her . We do have one embryo left . Once last chance . It is so hard to know how to feel about it . In a way , I feel that since it 's our last it just has to work . Then I feel like it can 't possibly work because that would just be too convenient , too crazy , that our last one takes . Once again we cannot thank our family and friends for the love and support , and for being there for us . We would be lost without each of you . Ryan and I are so lucky to be a part of such an incredible group of people who are filled with love for us . We cannot thank Heather 's family , which especially includes my brother ( Heather 's husband ) Andrew , and her extended family and friends for supporting her through her decision to do this , and then the path it has taken her on . We are so grateful and blessed to have her , and all of her supporters in our corner . definitely became closer than ever before during this whole process . It was surreal laying on the couch night after night while my husband poked me with needles . There is truly no romance involved in making a baby this way . Then came the retrieval . It was quick and relatively painless , thanks to the of our friends , family and even strangers who helped us get to that point . We had poured our hearts and souls into this , had been working at it for years , and it was all finally happening . It an ' ok ' . And that was the end of that . We had nothing , no embryos to transfer , no hope to take a pregnancy test , nothing . And after everything we had done , and been through . Calling Ryan to tell him was the hardest phone call I have ever had to make . We The week leading up to it was . . . busy , to put it mildly . We had a ton of last minute prizes being donated , tickets being sold , and things to do . The prize donations we received were quite unbelievable , both in quality and quantity . Our home is ' cozy ' as Ryan puts it , so there wasn 't any room to walk around or play with Winny , the dog . Every single day I looked around at everything and shed at least a few tears , some days more than others , both from gratitude as well as from a feeling of disbelief that people could be so generous just for us . We ended up with TWENTY regular prizes ! ! ! ! We had a lot of prizes for our wedding social , but not that many ! There were FOUR grand prizes , and again , we didn 't even have that many at our wedding social . Ryan made a bean bag toss game which was a huge hit . We ended up getting 3 sets of NHL tickets donated , so we had one for the bean bag toss , one set for a grand prize and ended up putting one into a ' mystery ' box . I know the winner of that prize was even more excited when they opened it up and saw what it was . Honestly I wish I could write about all of the prizes we had because each one was really fabulous . But , it would take up my entire blog post . Our surrogate came into town for the fundraiser . She was here for a week and stayed with us . It was very nice getting to spend so much quality time with her . She was a great help in finalizing the prizes and wrapping them up , along with both my Mom and Ryan 's Mom . We wouldn 't have been able to get it all done without their help . We are so lucky , and so thankful . We set up a ' guest book ' for anyone who came to the fundraiser to sign . Not everyone ended up signing it , but that 's ok . Now we have something tangible that we can keep , and if we are successful in creating a baby , when they are big enough , we can give it to them to show them how many people helped ' create ' them , how loved and wanted they were . Ahh , it makes me cry just thinking about it . The fertility clinic also lent us some information flip charts for people to peruse thI had expected myself to cry the night away , and not to be able to keep my emotions together , but I did ! It wasn 't until we were calling the prize winners that it began to hit me . I kept it together though while speaking and thanking everyone , but once the majority of people left , I bawled . It all seemed to hit me at once and I felt like I had been hit by a truck . . . . I was exhausted mentally , emotionally and physically . I was overwhelmed , and finally it felt like I could let it out . It took about 3 days and a ton of tears for me to ' release ' all of my pent up emotions . I think I just kept it all in until it was over , then I felt like I could let it all out . It felt great being able to cry , and to sleep . I hadn 't had a good sleep in weeks , but that night I slept solid and it was amazing . It turns out that people are still wanting to help us , which is beyond amazing , so we extended the online fundraising page until the end of October . We aren 't posting the link anymore because we don 't want to be asking for more than we have already gotten , but since people have still been asking us how to donate , even days after the fundraiser , we decided to extend it just a little . We are simply blown away by the love , support , kindness and generosity from our friends , our family , our community and even complete strangers . We feel very loved and know that what we are doing , and how we have done it all , has been the right thing . A lot of people have been asking how it went , and though I know they wanted all of these details , I know most people are really wondering if we reached our goal . The answer is that we did not reach the full monetary goal , but we did reach the main goal , which was to help offset the total costs . Of course we didn 't expect to make the full amount anyway , so it wasn 't upsetting or surprising . We did great and were both so very happy and grateful with the end result . We are so excited to say that we did make enough to be able to move forward ! ! ! ! ! We promise to keep everyone as posted as possible on our progress . . . . . on that note though , we are going to keep quiet for the next little while as to where exactly we are in this journey . The next steps are for me to take hormone injections at home to create follicles , which hopefully have eggs in them to be retrieved . Then for Ryan 's sperm and my eggs to be fertilized , frozen , then transferred into our surrogate and hope for a positive , viable pregnancy ! Due to the fragile emotional nature of these steps we have decided not to let everyone in during each step , but to announce a pregnancy at the 12 - week mark , like all other couples ! Again , thank you , everyone , to the stars and back for all of the love and support , for the donations and encouragement throughout all of this . Please know that every single hug , word of love , donation , kind gesture has all gone into making this dream possible , and we fully understand that without each and every one of you , it would not be happening . Our hearts are SO full of love and gratitude . Hopefully the next time you hear from me it is because we will be expecting a little peanut of our own ! ! ! Posted by In a week from today Ryan and I will be preparing for one of the biggest nights of our life . We will be finalizing any last minute changes or wrapping up last minute prizes . We will get ourselves all dressed up , and we will go down to see all of our hard work , our tears and dreams come together . We will come face to face with the friends , family and community members who are all out there rooting for us , praying for us , and supporting us in our dream to have a child . Our surrogate will be there , people we don 't even know will be there . I know for a fact I am going to cry because I can barely keep it together as I write this , and I am only thinking about it . Wait until it 's really happening ! ! It is so , so important to us to be successful with this fundraiser next weekend . The YouCaring online fundraising page will shut down and we hope we won 't need to plan another social . If you are wanting to support us but have not already , you can buy a ticket from Ryan or I , or send a donation through the fundraising page . What we make next weekend will determine if we can proceed with this dream . It 's been such a wonderful and overwhelming experience getting to this point . But , I have to be completely honest , I don 't think I have felt the gravity of it all until these past couple weeks . I have tried to write blog posts but have deleted them . I don 't have the right words for what is going through my mind and my heart . I have spoken so much about gratitude , appreciation and love . But those words don 't even cut it . There truly aren 't words big enough or deep enough to fully capture this experience , or the moments when Ryan and I stop , look around our house at all of the donations we have received , or tell each other of something kind someone has said to us , and we just hug . There are so many moments that go without mention , not because they aren 't worth mentioning , but because they are too big to describe , too raw to put into words , too wonderful to know how to share . 5 years ago when I heard ' the news ' , I thought my life was basically over . I didn 't know how I was going to go on , or how I would be able to live a happy , fulfilled life . I lost who I was and became so angry , so cynical , so sad . I never imagined I 'd be here . I am now married to the man of my dreams , have the sweetest little home , and the most incredible support system . Everyone can get down on themselves and feel not good enough . Those thoughts crept into my mind more often than not for awhile , but now , after so much has happened , so much love has been created and shared , and so much support has been shown , those thoughts don 't happen anymore . Because I decided to share our story with the support of Ryan and our surrogate , and your willingness to read it and share your thoughts of love and support , I realize so many things about myself , my life , and life in general that I had forgotten . I am so thankful to each and every one of you that has read this blog , that has sent supportive , kind messages , and to everyone who has decided to donate to us or share our story with others . And I am so thankful to Ryan and D . for being on board with my sharing this in such an open way . Although it has all been from my perspective , this is their life too . At any point , had either of them wished for me to not say something , I wouldn 't have . But that never happened , they both allowed me to express myself the way I wanted and needed , and have loved and supported me through it all . I am so grateful . My heart is full and I am so excited for next weekend . It really is very fitting that it ended up being on Thanksgiving weekend , because gratitude definitely seems to be the theme we 've got going on here . We are so unbelievably thankful . http : / / www . youcaring . com / medical - fundraiser / surrogacy - fundraiser - help - us - build - our - family - / 196898 I am Gina , and this is my blog ! I am writing about my journey to creating a family with my husband . I was born with a heart condition , called Transposition of the Great Arteries ( TGA ) . Due to high risks involved with pregnancy for both myself and the fetus , we are finding a different road to become parents . We have been blessed by one of our closest friends offering to be a gestational surrogate for us ! This basically means ' our bun , her oven ' . We are so excited for what the future holds , and are beyond grateful for the love and support in our lives . Come along for the ride while we navigate our way down this unique , exciting , and sometimes heartbreaking path to parenthood . View my complete profile
|
Talyn felt like if he stopped kissing Leekath , something really awful might happen , like him no longer kissing Leekath . Mindspeech it was . < I love you , > he repeated , and then , quickly , before she could answer , before the startled thoughts in her head could resolve themselves into a shape , < It 's okay if you don 't feel the same way - I just didn 't want it to be a secret . > < No , it 's because I love you - well - it 's mostly because I love you . A little about Mysha . She was in love with me but she didn 't say anything because she wouldn 't have been allowed to do anything about it . And I think that 's awful that it was a secret , and so I don 't want this to be . > It was diplomatically done , though Talyn felt a coil of embarrassment in Leekath 's mind . Rather than solve the problem of how to walk to the room without disengaging his mouth from hers , he picked the both of them up with air kamai and floated to the place Aar Kithen was thinking of . < Sorry about that . I didn 't think it ought to wait , > he sent . < It 's okay , > she said sheepishly . Without breaking the kiss , she sent a high - pitched ping into the room . Talyn peered into her mind with fascination as she effortlessly interpreted the echoes . < So this is where you live now ? > < Well , I 'll still be going to visit my parents pretty often , > Talyn sent . < And I might go visit my grandmother for a tenday sometime , because I won 't be able to learn a lot of death kamai here and she can fill in the gaps . But yeah . I live here . > He pulled her closer and stroked her hair . < It 's okay , > he assured her . Her hair was soft ; he ran his hand down it again . Her thoughts quieted , almost as though she was falling asleep . < Leekath ? > Leekath 's eyelashes fluttered . " Oh . I 'm fine . I think you found my trance trigger , " she said . Her thoughts were waking up somewhat . " Trancing isn 't sleep . I was conscious , just not very energetic . " " My sister has styled it sometimes since she wants to be a hairdresser , but not really petted it . " Leekath leaned towards him again for another kiss . < It 's okay . It 's nice . > Leekath snapped out of her trance instantly . < Not during school . I live with them on breaks between terms . > There was an edginess to her thoughts . Talyn poked at it . < I told Aaihhhi , > she sent . < And I mentioned you in a letter to my brother which he might have read already . But - Fheeil and my sister and the others don 't . They 're the ones who I think will have a problem with you not being a vampire or even a dragon . > < They can probably have kids just fine if they want , by magic if nothing else - vampires are more complicated , > Leekath said . < I don 't have a circulatory system . Or a digestive system . If I couldn 't turn into a bat , I 'd die of sleep deprivation . People have half - vampires , but they miscarry a lot , and die as children a lot , and when they grow up they have a lot of health problems as adults too . > Her mind was full of bleak memories of the half - dozen attempts before her surviving half - human cousin was born - three dead before birth . One dead in infancy , unable to shift and needing it to sleep . One dead in infancy of malnutrition , fed the wrong guesswork mix of blood and milk . One with half a heart that worked for a week and stopped . < That uncle lives in a different house - they 're not as conservative about this sort of thing - and it 's worse when a vampire is carrying the baby instead of a human like my aunt , or something . > < Is that it ? Because I bet there 's a way around it , if that 's it . I want your family to like me , > Talyn sent . < No , that 's not all of it . > She squirmed . < Don 't read my mind too much about my religion , please . It 's mostly a secret from people who aren 't vampires . > < Dragons can 't be in the religion either , but they 're really tasty , and they can speak the language , and they can turn into bats or even humanoid vampire shapes if they want , so they 're . . . tolerated , if vampires want to date them or marry them . And vampire thudias count as vampires for religious purposes and they 're perfectly healthy . But other than dragons , people don 't like it . My aaihhhi 's okay , > she sent earnestly . < I think he 'll like you . And my brother Khi . But my fheeil and my sister probably won 't be very nice to you . > The ability to saturate themselves with each other didn 't pall ; by the time Leekath 's semester wound down , Hihhliir was teasing Leekath about Talyn more than about anything else . Since this didn 't seem to bother Leekath - she thought of her roommate with a sort of indulgent amusement , taunts and all - Talyn didn 't step in to defend his girlfriend . He did hear unkind thoughts from her hall neighbors and classmates ( mostly bizarre speculations about her behavior that wouldn 't have made sense even if the voices she heard were hallucinations ) . These he was tempted to confront , but they never escalated into outright bullying and he didn 't want to risk getting in trouble with the school authorities and having them forbid him from meeting her on campus . The last day of the semester was the last day of Komehel ( well , technically " Komehel - for " wasn 't in Komehel , though Talyn couldn 't figure out why that was ) . < I 'm not allowed to stay at school over the break , > Leekath told him . < My parents want me home and this time I don 't even have to wait for a shuttle that goes to Mifaar , since I can teleport . > < I don 't know about that , > she admitted . < Fheeil doesn 't like me to go places , uh , " unsupervised " . He figures being at school is like being supervised , but when I 'm home I mostly stay home except when I visit neighbors to ask for lunch . > She hesitated . < Probably . But I . . . I still haven 't told Fheeil about you - and he 'd want to know who you were and why you were , um , delivering . > < . . . Maybe , > Leekath sent back . < You have the communication crystal I gave you , right ? We can at least talk . I 'm allowed to do that . > < Yeah , I have it . > He sighed - through his nose , so he could keep kissing her . < Is he going to punish you for dating me , or something ? > < I don 't know . I never dated anyone before , > Leekath admitted . < If I 'm not there by - > She disengaged , to cast the time - telling spell . " Four degrees from now - " She fastened her mouth back to his , expertly avoiding fanging him . < Then he 'll be mad at me for dawdling . . . > Talyn didn 't know what to do with himself while Leekath was gone . They talked by crystal , but she couldn 't usually spare more than an angle a day - " I 'm supposed to tutor my little cousin " was the usual reason ; sometimes it was " Aaihhhi 's home , I want to catch him before he starts working up in his study " . If they talked late at night it was occasionally " time to leave for temple " , about which she could say no more . Talyn hadn 't meant to disturb Kaylo , but the dragon looked up anyway in a gap between thoughts . " Oh , hey , I remember you , " he said in Martisen . " You answered some of my questions at the demo . I didn 't know you were in Elcenia again . " " I started apprenticing with Rhysel , " Talyn said , upon ascertaining his welcome to start a conversation . " Can we talk in Leraal ? I 'm still practicing it . " " No problem , " said Kaylo easily , in the requested language . He shelved the book he 'd been flipping through - " this monstrosity is useless , author did not check the literature " - and picked up the rest of his stack of books . " Is Rhysel a better teacher than she let on at the demo ? I know Aar Kithen 's all right , but he has less kamai background than she does , right ? " " I guess that depends on how thorough Keo was giving him Rhysel 's knowledge . And how you compare the extra reading they 've been doing . I guess she 's okay , but I 'm mostly self - teaching , " Talyn said . The boys strolled towards one of the study tables and Kaylo plunked his volumes down and started sorting them into three piles . Talyn slid into a chair . " Well , I 'll live , I suppose , " Kaylo said . " I mean , with wizardry , they ostensibly teach theory , but I 'm having to research everything on my own time anyway because half of it is manifestly nonsense . Maybe having a teacher who doesn 't care about theory will save time in the long run . " " What 're you working on now ? " Talyn asked , peering at the books . They were titled things like The Complete Tah Roie Rhythm Data [ volume 6 , 11000 - 11100 ] and Wizardry : A Statistical Analysis and Collected Papers on Familiar Theory . " Channeling capacity , " said Kaylo . He finished his sorting into piles and began arranging each pile into his desired reading order , then pulled a notebook out of the bookbag he wore on his back . " It doesn 't make sense - there 's not even a pretense of an understanding of why or what the stuff is unless you go by Sand Dusk Chanter apologia and say it 's the trust of our Lord God - er - do you mind ? " Talyn 's welcome had worn out with the books laid out on the table before Kaylo , who was near - twitching with the urge to seize them all at once and extract their contents into condensed cross - referenced nuggets . " Sure , " Talyn said , getting up again . " Good luck with your project . " Talyn went outside and loitered by the pond that had once contained Rhysel 's housekeeper , gardener , and their three children , waiting for Leekath to call . She 'd said the previous day that her brother was coming home for a brief visit - his school operated on a different schedule than Binaaralav did , and was still in session for the month of Sutaahel ; he was mostly coming to see Leekath while she was there . She 'd told Talyn that she 'd ring as soon as Khi was gone . The sun had almost set when the crystal in his pocket chimed . " Leekath , hi ! " he exclaimed into it , scrambling to hold it to his ear . " Did you have a good visit with your brother ? " Talyn had considerable information about how to make a good first impression , even if Leekath hadn 't been able to tell him much - she didn 't seem to have any examples ready to hand of any person or thing that her fheeil found pleasing . Given twenty - five angles in which to render himself suited for meeting his vampire girlfriend 's vampire dad , his first order of business was to buy new clothes . He got money from Rhysel , followed passersby 's thoughts to an upscale store , and told the first clerk he saw , " I need to look nice . Impressing - my - girlfriend 's - family - when - they 're - predisposed - to - hate - me nice . Help me ? " The clerk wisely gave no consideration to Talyn 's stylistic preferences in the face of such a task . She picked out a long - sleeved red shirt with a row of square buttons trailing down the front alongside his right arm , a pair of brown ticked - patterned slacks with no pockets , and a pair of heeled boots that divided into four sections above the ankle and had to be bound closed with a series of cords . Once the clerk had finally impressed upon Talyn how to tie the shoes , she took the money and Talyn went back to Rhysel 's tower . Theedy , the housekeeper , and Eret , the gardener , were respectively willing to tutor him in languages but untalkative , and unwilling to tutor him in languages but capable of producing plenty of words at a time . Given the volume of vampire language Talyn wanted to pick up and how much time he had to do it in , he antagonized Eret rather than wheedling Theedy . The red opal man would snap at Talyn in any language , which on this occasion worked against his stated preference to be rid of the pest . Talyn tottered around in the boots , eventually managing not to fall over in them , and practiced syncing up his mouth with illusion kamai of vampire words . He had to lean on Eret 's ability to hear the high pitches , as he couldn 't himself , and that impeded the fluency with which he could imagine them and press them into being . But he would be around plenty of readable vampires when he visited Leekath 's family . Leekath called him while he was eating dinner ; he 'd successfully managed to bat - ify himself exactly once and only just changed into his sharp outfit . " I can come pick you up now , " she murmured into the crystal . " Are you ready ? " She teleported onto Rhysel 's front step ; he could hear her mind pop into audibility there and opened the door before she knocked . Leekath spotted the plate of dinner on the table . " Oh , " she said . " You could finish eating . " Leekath hesitated , trying to piece together whether her fheeil actually knew that non - vampires could safely skip meals , and finally held out her hand . " Call Fheeil ' Aar Hhirheek ' , " she said . " If Aaihhhi comes home while you 're there , call him Representative Hhirheek first , but he 'll probably tell you to go ahead and call him by his first name and then you can . Don 't talk back to Fheeil or - or anything . Ignore my sister as much as you can because she 'll probably try to goad you but don 't be outright rude to her - if she asks you a direct question answer her and stuff . Um , my other relatives probably won 't try to interact with you , but they might be around . Nod at them when you first go in but you don 't have to talk to them if they don 't talk to you . And - uh - Fheeil might want to talk to you alone . He might send me to work with my little cousin on something , maybe , and then I 'll have to go , but he doesn 't know about mindspeech , so if you need to ask me something you can do it that way . " Her fheeil was waiting behind the door , tall and grim and unsmiling . " Welcome home , Aaeeihhyleekatheeei , " he said , though there was no welcome in his voice or his thoughts . " Hello . . . ' Talyn ' . " His pronunciation of the foreign name had the exacting perfection of someone who insisted that his surface behavior be beyond reproach , whatever lapses he might have beneath that . Such as not being the least bit glad to see his daughter when she came home . " Enter , " said Aar Hhirheek , standing aside . Leekath trotted in at once and Talyn followed her , propping himself up with air kamai when the heel of his boot caught on the threshold . Aar Hhirheek didn 't notice the trip , but he noticed the shape of Talyn 's ears and the color of his eyes and concluded that he could not reasonably be lying about his lack of dragonhood . ( Black dragons would have had eyes like Talyn 's but only blue - groups could turn into half - elves . ) This disappointed Aar Hhirheek ; he 'd have rather Leekath been dating a dragon who was for some reason pretending to be otherwise than a half - elf . Talyn hadn 't been sure what to expect about the interior of a vampire home . Except for perches attached to the ceiling over the chairs and couches , it was normal on the open - plan ground floor apart from the lack of a kitchen . Vampires in both forms occupied the miscellaneous seating and hanging . One bat - shaped individual - Talyn gathered from her thoughts that she was Leekath 's sister Iilha - released her grip on her perch and transformed into humanoid shape such that her feet were planted exactly on the ground . Her hair was in an overcomplicated updo that didn 't do enough to distract from the sneer on her face . " Well , God on the moon , Leekath actually has a bleeder boyfriend . I thought that was just a detail to make the " boyfriend " story more plausible but she actually went and did it , " remarked Iilha . Aar Hhirheek didn 't seem to be inclined to sit soon . Possibly ever . He paid no mind to Iilha 's comment . " Are you aware , " he said to Talyn , " that Aaeeihhyleekatheeei is mentally unwell ? " " I did not ask you if it bothered you . Are you equipped to look after my daughter ? At her current level of stability , or should it drop to a more customary level for sufferers of her disease ? Or perhaps you are not interested in looking after her , which would be perhaps more understandable , and intend to discard her after her delusions cease to amuse you ? " When she had gone - and the room had otherwise cleared out , Iilha and other relations taking the hint from Aar Hhirheek 's glowering silence - Aar Hhirheek advanced two steps to stare Talyn down from closer quarters . Talyn didn 't back up , or set the man on fire , both of which victories ceased to bolster him when Aar Hhirheek said , " Considering that you are a rude and excessively idealistic cultural outsider ; considering that you are too young whatever your aging rate might be to take on the commitment of an unwell and necessarily dependent lover , let alone spouse ; considering that you cannot so much as propose to present me with healthy grandchildren I can present in the temple ; considering that you have the effrontery to correct me while you are a guest in my home . . . Considering all of this , Talyn , do you have any considerations to present which suggest I should not forbid Aaeeihhyleekatheeei from seeing you ? " Talyn 's blood ran cold . Would Leekath dump him , if Aar Hhirheek told her to ? What would happen if she didn 't , and he found out ? What would he do to her ? The man 's thoughts didn 't hold answers to any of that ; in his mind he was simply to be obeyed . The question of consequences for disobedience didn 't come up until after that unthinkable thing happened . Talyn considered and rejected saying You can 't stop her ! We can run away to Barashi ! . He considered and rejected I can probably fix the grandchildren thing with kamai when it 's time ! because he didn 't think he wanted Aar Hhirheek 's mind actually going anywhere nearer that topic than it already had . He considered and rejected You 're the rude one ! , which wouldn 't improve Aar Hhirheek 's estimate of his maturity . He considered and rejected turning into a bat for no reason , which would probably not actually shock his host into acceptance of the relationship . Aar Hhirheek drew himself up even taller , but Talyn could tell he 'd made a dent - albeit a very small dent - in the vampire 's frosty composure . " My husband , " said Aar Hhirheek , " prefers not to handle the minutiae of our children 's upbringing , given that he has a great deal of work to do and I am available for the task . Aaeeihhyleekatheeei will not trouble him with the matter . And , " he continued , " he would respect my decision , most particularly as he has not met you and I have . Do you have an answer to my question ? " " I 'm home ! " Leekath 's aaihhhi called . He flung the door open and strode in with a smile and a bulging caseful of paperwork . He pecked his husband on the lips , having to stand on tiptoe to do it , and then peered at Talyn . " Goodness . You must be Talyn ! It 's good to meet you . " He profferred his free hand to shake ; Talyn pumped it twice . " Where 's Leekath ? " Her aaihhhi beamed brightly . " Call me Thiies . . . She 's so helpful . It 's such a blessing that she can manage academic work , let alone assist others . Leekath ! " he called up the stairwell . " Come down here ! " Leekath was down the stairs in a flash ; Talyn hadn 't actually been aware she could move that fast . She threw her arms around her aaihhhi and he patted her on the head . " So this is your boyfriend ? " Thiies asked her . Thiies patted Talyn on the head too . " Leekath , has Kaee got a handle on whatever you were teaching him ? " At her nod , he continued , " I think you might be about old enough to start looking at some of my work , and see if you might want to help me out in my office when you 're a bit farther along . Strictly unofficial for now , " he added with a wink . " But I recall you can teleport as of last term - maybe you 'll have something to say about this amendment to the restrictions on licensing - " He drew Leekath away to his office up the stairs , leaving Talyn and Aar Hhirheek standing where they 'd been when he came in . Talyn was puzzled over Leekath 's ecstatic reaction to the invitation to what sounded like extremely boring work . She hadn 't seemed to object to tutoring Kaee in itself , so it wasn 't a reprieve from distasteful work - Aar Hhirheek called Talyn 's attention back before he could read deeper . " I will not forbid Leekath from seeing you , " he said in a low , growling voice . " Provided you are on your best behavior - No , that will be unlikely to suffice . Provided you are on adequate behavior on any further occasion you should be a guest in my home . I will not suffer to be disrespected under this roof . The five degrees it would take to convince my husband that you were better gotten rid of will not stop me from ordering you out of my daughter 's life if it comes to that . "
|
Nothing will cure a hoard better than selling your home , though natural disasters might have a similar effect . We put our home in Kansas on the market in March and it went under contract within three days . A week later we were at our house to clean out what remained after five years of absence . Our tenant and good friend A . called me a tornado , because I whipped through the piles of stuff without mercy sending the bulk towards the trash heap . It is easy to sort unaffected when you have absolutely forgotten the things in the hall closet even existed . We took two car - fulls of useful things to the emergency shelter to donate ( some of it belonged to A . ) and were grateful for the tax receipts . In spite of this culling , there was still some furniture and exercise equipment lingering . The tenants posted items on craigslist , had a yard sale , sold a few more items of theirs and ours , took a commission , and donated the rest . Today the real estate agent told me that he removed 12 bags of trash from the house ( what ? ? ! ! ) after the tenants moved out , and the house is now cleaned and empty . I wish I could see the empty house today , but that would be a long way to fly just to have the satisfaction of knowing our former home is ready for a new owner to love it . Yesterday I wrote to my step - brother who lives the closest to my HP and who sees my dad and step - mom the most often , just to let him know I 'm aware of the problem and available even though far away . We have not been close , ever really , but I feel it 's unfair for him and his wife to bear the burden of what my father has brought to the table , so to speak . My brother , on the other hand , claims to be committed to cleaning up the hoard because he wants to see what 's inside . I think he underestimates what the time commitment would be . I think he also wants to find buried treasure . That desire runs deep in my genealogy . For the moment , all is calm on the hoarding front . I think this is the right time to prepare . I tried to express to my step - brother , in a very neutral tone , that I feel comfort he is nearby but by no means expect him to deal with it . I also simply stated that I do not feel attached to anything in the home . I hope he can read between the lines and understand that if they are stuck disposing of the mess , they can dispose of the mess without my interference . Perhaps what I will best be able to offer is financial help if it comes to that . The house is dilapidated . Carpet has never been changed . The house was constructed in the late 1970s and the only major renovations that have occurred were when my father and I moved in c . 1990 . He finished the basement . That same basement is now 80 % inaccessible because of the hoard . It makes me sad for my step - brother ( s ) . This was their childhood home . It has been the same home in the backdrop of almost every memory growing up . This is where they still celebrate most major holidays . I haven 't been there for over a year already and I don 't expect to go back until 2013 . Expect it to get worse , I flatly expressed . Maybe much worse . Next time you think you 're too cramped in the tiny place where you live , think of this clever guy . He 's been living in our outdoor lamp for at least a month now . Usually he can 't manage to get his tail tucked in all the way . Then he disappeared for a few days . Today I saw him , looking bigger than before . I wonder if he 's stuck in that little cove . Last night around 1 a . m . as I tiptoed down the stairs to return some milk to the fridge , I noticed a little grey blur on the floor . As soon as I began to wonder what it was , it quickly flitted away behind the curtains . I recognized it as some type of lizard , made sure I walked clear of its path , left the stove light on for D . who gets up very early , and went back to bed . When he got up some thirty minutes later , I was still awake and told him about the lizard so he wouldn 't be startled . When I saw the thing , I momentarily considered catching it and throwing it outside in the rain . But I am not terribly concerned about lizards who eat bugs and don 't bite humans . I no longer have a baby crawling on the floor , no cats or dogs who are going to catch it for me , no real concerns about the thing except it 's kind of creepy to have a lizard in the house when you don 't know what kind it is . In North America we 've had plenty of critters trying to invade our space . We had a bird make a perch on our balcony , we watched our cat bring a live mouse in the house and let it go , we 've had rats eat through the wires of our car engine ( twice ) , our dogs caught a baby raccoon in our yard , and the raccoons feasted regularly on our compost . Add to that wild turkeys , an occasional fox , deer and many rabbits , squirrels and snakes who had a habitat in our yard even though we lived near the center of the city . I grew up mostly in the country . Animals and pests are just a part of home life . But what happens when your floor isn 't cleared enough to see the lizard scampering across it , or the pile of newspapers is so huge you can 't find the mouse building a nest in it ? You just hear the random scurrying and scratching . Does it become a part of your home life ? Common sounds you 're used to hearing , unconcerned that you 're sharing your home with critters ? My father ( the HP ) lives in a rural Mid - Western community and I recall being terrified my first summer , having moved there from Montana in high school , when I stepped outside to what sounded like a rain forest . Then one night ( I should 've known hoarding was an issue by then ) , I was even more frightened when I heard loud scratching and crawling noises in my ceiling . When I told my parents about it the next day , they flatly said there were squirrels making a nest in the rafters . No one cared . No one did anything about it . More recently , my brother declared he wanted my father 's stamp collection ( which represented his only happy childhood memory ) , and my father nonchalantly declared that mice had probably eaten through the stamp books . Never mind that incompatibility with hoarding crap you collect and letting it get destroyed . I can 't understand how hoarders get to the point of not caring about the critters in their home that they cannot see or access - only hear or smell . Does it become another comforting part of the hoard , or does it ever terrify them that their home is taking on a life of its own ? Yesterday as I walked " home " from the park , I had the first notion of feeling comfortable in my neighborhood . All the plants and sounds that have felt exotic are suddenly starting to look normal as I begin to forget about pine , oak , maple and elm trees and adapt to eucalyptus , jacaranda , and palms . Armadillo roadkill is replaced with squished water dragons , robins in trees for cockatoos , and squirrels for possums . I 'm adapting . As we begin our fifth month in this house , however , we only have one thing on our mind : find a house that feels comfortable . We spent years renovating and refining our home in the States to make it just the way we wanted it . By the time our daughter came along , it had almost entirely been redone , and after her birth we went ahead and renovated the only room that had been left untouched . D . and I both spend the majority of our working hours in our home , and the comfort of home is a value we both enjoy . Yet , here we are living in what D . affectionately calls " student housing " with noisy neighbors , a railway running practically through the back yard , and a thin layer of coal dust that accumulates every week . Besides college football , the only thing I truly miss about being back " home " is exactly that - our home . Now that we have had time to acclimate somewhat here , however , we have the luxury of choosing another place to live . For me , last weekend was a sort of " rediscover your town extravaganza " which we used to explore different suburbs that were more peaceful , even if further away from my job . No matter - there were ocean views and breezes , not to mention the fresh air . There is a whole new world out there . But to get there , we have to pack up our suitcases again and re - acclimate to another neighborhood , child care facility , daily pattern and so on . And six months after that , we 'll get to do it all over again . I wrote the following blogpost on March 10 , 2009 for my research - related blog ( which incidentally has seen less action over 5 years than this one saw in its first 6 months ) . Likely because of our recent move , this has been weighing on my mind , and I think the content much more appropriate to readers here . ( Reposted with my own permission ) . I have known for years now that you can never really go home , but now that I know I can never revisit the place , I am pondering what that means . I can 't think of one reason I would want to return there . To remember the address , however , I typed in " Meadowview Ln " into Google Maps which suggested Meadow View Dr , and led me to click on a picture . When I turned just one click to the right , there before me was my house . When I lived there the road wasn 't paved and cattle were kept in the field on " the hill " behind us . So now , I see the house for the first time in ages on the web , and it really no longer exists . I click up and down the street and remember Kory 's house and Kristen 's house and see a lot of houses that weren 't there before . I told my mom the house was gone and she asked , " OK , so where 's the picture ? ? ? That is crazy and I think the kitchen is the only part we remodeled ! ! ! Well , it has been a few years , hasn 't it . " It 's funny to think of asking for a picture of something no longer there . Proof that it 's gone ? An empty lot ? We can never go back . Not if we wanted , not if we had to . Many Pieds - Noirs have been returning to Algeria in recent years . They bring back film that recaptures their homes and they play it for those who cannot physically return . When Jacques Derrida saw his homeland played back for him by Safaa Fathy , he found the past unrecognizable ( see Tourner les mots ) , and Hélène Cixous traveled to Derrida 's Algeria with photos of his past , trying to make sense of what she was witnessing for the first time ( Si près ) . But many Pieds - Noirs do not even see the present when they return . They only see what used to be . In my case , this picture triggers memories of the dirt road and how big that hill to the right seemed when I rode my bike down it , and many of those houses now there were once just fields and empty lots . I see my past transposed onto the new siding and attempting to erase that ugly truck . But can I see an empty lot ? Last week the last three boxes of my books arrived to my new office . I felt immediate joy and reconnection : " at - homeness " with the contents . I lovingly placed the carefully chosen texts onto my barren shelves . They barely made a dent in the void , as I am surrounded by 32 of these beautiful new bookshelves . Boxes emptied and books put away , melancholy almost immediately ensued . I 'm surrounded by space now , here and at home . It feels scary and open but full of possibility and imagination . The biggest void and absence of home will be over tomorrow morning , though , when D . finally arrives . I finally tackled the box a few days ago , sorting the cards into four categories : received from someone , free cards , art cards , and cards from places I 've been . I started collecting when I was about 15 years old and stopped not too long ago . I still have a habit of visiting art exhibits and picking one or two cards of the pieces that most affected me . As I was sorting , I fairly easily tossed the " free - card " pile with the exception of two or three cards I have often displayed in my office over the past 15 years . What surprised me most about the " places I 've been pile , " though , was the careful chronicling of my travels . Places I have long since forgotten were documented there in pictures . Some of the most generic images ( i . e . " Arizona Coyote " ) , I tossed willingly into the recycle bin , but I ended up keeping the majority . I stumbled across a few duplicates from Paris , and yet I couldn 't let go of the second copies . I feel compelled to find them a home . Finally , I went through some of the " received " cards and was a bit dumbfounded . Some were cards that I had written home , but many were from people I no longer remember . I had a card , for example , from someone named Anastassia , and I have no recollection of ever meeting this person . Nonetheless , the card looked vaguely familiar . It somehow remains in the " keep " pile . In the end , because I took the time to confront the memories in the card pile , I wasn 't able to let go of the bulk . I took too much pleasure in seeing my travels plainly documented in such a compact space . I do not have all the other souvenirs , because those did go onto Craigslist . Instead , I keep a condensed box of postcards without knowing if I 'll ever look inside it again . As I work my way through material on hoarding , family members trying to convince the hoarder to change his or her ways is a recurrent theme . I 'm starting to wonder if I should feel guilty for not saying something to my dad . My relationship to my parents has long been one of , " you 're grown ups , it 's your life , you will do what you want . " As long as it doesn 't affect my living situation , I 'm not very concerned about it . What scares me more , though , is my uncertainty of their own awareness . I don 't think they know they have a hoarding problem or to what extent it affects them . Frost and Steketee in Stuff have written that the hoarder will go to great lengths to hide their overrun homes from others , which demonstrates a certain level of awareness , but when they are challenged on discarding individual items , they are not able to see that they have a problem . ( Ironically , it is exactly this confrontation with individual items that made me realize how susceptible I am to hoarding . ) The two researchers rightfully point out that their work is based on individuals who have volunteered for study . On some level , these people already know they have an issue that needs to be dealt with . On the other hand , public health and social workers encounter hoarders regularly - people who have been reported to them and who are unwilling to change what they do not see . They have a certain blindness to their clutter or squalor . My dad and step - mom make small remarks about wanting to get rid of things so they can sell their home , or that they need to clean up the house before anyone can visit , or even saying once , " I think you know we aren 't very good about getting rid of things , " when I mentioned they could donate all of my things left in the house . But I 'm not sure they realize that they have two bedrooms that are unusable , a garage that hasn 't seen a car inside it since the 1990s when my brother cleaned it out , at least four non - functioning grills around the outside of the home , I do not know how many storage units full of collectibles , and so on . They still have livable space . So far . It terrifies me to think , however , what my father will become if my step - mother dies before him . My only solution up to this point has been to move far away . But that doesn 't help these adults who are old enough to take care of themselves and not too old yet not to . Yesterday a dear friend / former student and her husband came to say goodbye to us for the n ' th time . I gladly took the opportunity to unload more books , but especially the TV that has been sitting to the right of my desk for the past several years . Now that it is gone , I moved the printer to that spot and the sunshine is suddenly flowing unobstructed through the window . It just feels good to give items away to a good home . In fact , it 's my biggest problem with holding on to stuff . I 'm generous by nature and I hold on to things people have given me and things I think someone else can use . Throwing something out , just into the trash , is painful for me . Recycling is OK … trash is painful . So thank you , M . , for taking a bunch of our stuff off our hands again yesterday . She also offered to take my family portrait from when I was four years old . I first said yes and then retracted the offer . I 've never known what to do with that relic of my family before it was entirely fractured ( or before I was cognizant of the fissures ) , but maybe my daughter will want to look at our goofy clothes and my toothy smile someday .
|
Hurricane Irene did surprising and catastrophic things to Vermont , surprising because , well , Vermont is inland , far from the storm - whipped coasts , far from , say , New Orleans . You don 't get a storm surge in Vermont . But when a storm like Irene hits , all the topographic beauties of the place turn to its detriment . The rain washes straight down the mountainsides into the narrow , deep valleys . Creeks and rivers that were nothing but shallow meanders through deep cobble beds , mostly dry at that time of year , fill up with alarming suddenness . The rivers rage down the valleys , demolishing roads , buildings , towns . Hilary Mullins is an old friend from her days as a student at Vermont College of Fine Arts when she used to hang out in Francois Camoin 's room on the third floor of Noble Hall just down the corridor from dg who also tended to hang out in Francois ' room a lot ( it was a hospitable place , a cross between a Paris salon and a homeless shelter ) . Hilary lives in Bethel , Vermont , where she reads , writes , teaches , sermonizes and runs a window - cleaning business . She was , yes , at home when Hurricane Irene hit , and this is her story - a What It 's Like Living Here essay with a twist . ( The photos are a group effort ; credits to Janet Hayward Burnham , Dan Thorington , Bill Gibson . ) Everyone in Bethel knew the hurricane was coming - we knew all about it . We knew the forecasters were saying it could be significant , and we knew why : August had been rainy , and we already had plenty of water in the ground . So we knew we didn 't need any more , particularly not in the quantity that a hurricane might bring . We also knew there was supposed to be high wind . So we stacked our yard chairs , tossed more rounds of wood on the tarps covering our woodpiles , and brought our animals in . But at first when Irene arrived - not as a hurricane but as a tropical storm - she didn 't seem so significant after all . The rain started Saturday night , and yes , it came steady , but around here , we 've all seen rain like that before . And we know rain . There 'd be some wash - outs , we knew that : roads where the gravel would be eaten and maybe some pavement too . And maybe some people 's houses would be threatened . Because that does happen more often now : a thunder storm hits , leaving a flash flood in one area . But even though we knew all this , even though we knew the land here is all ridges and river valley , brooks and streams pouring down from everywhere to merge , uniting in the White River that runs through our village , we didn 't know . We didn 't know the power of what was running at the level of our feet - or what could happen if all those little waters - not just some here or there - began to rise . Which on the 28th of August they did . Of course , some people must have understood what the actual magnitude of the thing might be . But I was not one of them . I live on higher ground , and I didn 't realize . Even when it was here . It was a rainy Sunday alone at my house , and I was still checking weather reports at a point when other folks had only to check out their windows to know they were in trouble . For instance , three miles up Bethel Gilead Road , the brook was coming up fast - far too fast - and a woman was rushing to pack her car , trying to get out before it was too late . She had her little dog with her but in the end had to leave her son 's dog Zeus behind . Maybe if she were younger , she would have brought him too . But at sixty , she couldn 't : Zeus was larger , more rambunctious , more than she could handle . Her son meanwhile , was out working some job he wanted to finish . I don 't know for sure what he was doing , cutting trees maybe or splitting wood , though it was a Sunday . But even though he was out working in that rain , he didn 't know what was happening any more than I did . Then his mother called , and he headed straight for Bethel Gilead . By the time he got there , you could no longer drive the whole way in . A cubic foot of water weighs a little over sixty pounds , and sixty pounds on sixty pounds countless times meant the beast was unleashed and the waters were going where they wanted . Two miles up Bethel Gilead , the brook was the size of a river by noon and what once was road became river and what once was meadow became gully , thirty feet wide , all churning water and torn - up trees . Finally , around mid - afternoon , I heard the news that Bethel Gilead was flooded , and that over on the other side of the River Street Bridge , they were flooded too . But still I didn 't understand . I thought it must be like the flooding we had here in Bethel during that one big rain , oh maybe a dozen years ago , when my girlfriend and I had run down to the park where the White and its Third Branch merge , watching as the picnic tables began to bob . That had been a flood you 'd have to try to get hurt in , the kind of flood where the waters seem to redefine their boundaries simply by pressing on them . And that 's what I thought all floods were like , something you could live with , if please , you just were careful . So I called my brother . He was working a long weekend shift at a milk plant up in St . Albans . His road home , he said , was supposed to flood later on that night . Then I called to check on my two friends who live in a house this side of the River Street bridge , the town side . When they didn 't pick up , I worried , but I didn 't panic . I decided I would do some cooking and try them again in a little while . I didn 't know that already , just a few miles down the road , a husband and a wife had been running through their barn , desperately trying to unhitch their cows as the White River came pouring in , trying to move the animals - many of whom they 'd raised themselves from calves - to safety . Twenty - five were swept away by the water . Someone somewhere down - river , saw one go by . At another local farm , it was pigs who went with the rising waters , a lot of them . I don 't know the numbers because later all the farmer would say when asked was that a lot of pigs died . And then , weary , he repeated it again : " A lot of pigs died . " I didn 't know . I was home , safe and sound and dry , taking out a glistening black eggplant from the refrigerator . I didn 't know that three miles away at the White River Fish Hatchery , right on the White , they 'd already been flooded out too , hours before , half a million fish washed down the river by noon . Up on Bethel Gilead , Zeus the dog was in a small one - story house that stands just before the juncture where two brooks join . The whole hollow was in flood . Zeus is a mutt and a medium - sized dog , one of those muscular types . He has a Rotweiler head , an incessant heart , and a smart , smart dog brain . But the water was huge , hurling rocks against the back of the house . Then it was coming in . Sixty pounds on sixty pounds , and though the rain had stopped , the waters were still rising . I called my brother again . He was driving : " Good , good , " I said , " I will call you back . " I tried my friends over on River Street a second time . No answer . I sliced the squash , the onions , the garlic . Put in basil . And then , just as it was getting dark , the power went out . Up the hill across from the house , Zeus 's owner climbed . He knew there were mud slides slopping down that hill . He knew one wrong step and he 'd be swept down into the flood , that he wouldn 't have a chance . I didn 't know him . I was done cooking . I brought the emergency candles out , made sure I had matches on hand . I called my brother . " Just pulling into the driveway ! " he said . " I 'm home . " I went out . This is when I began to know . But it was just a start . A few hundred yards down the sidewalk , I looked north through the trees , down onto what was once , long ago in the 19th century , fair grounds and a race track for horses , but what now for years has been the kids ' playing fields , a large stretch of land . But the ball and soccer fields weren 't there . Only lake was there . And I could not even see where that lake ended . But though I finally was looking , I still couldn 't see what was there . Because consider the word that came to my mind . I looked and thought lake , but those fields were not a lake : they now were part of the river , and all the river was moving , and though I didn 't know this because I couldn 't see it from where I stood , over on Route 12 north of my house , that river was running through the place we call the Dented Can Store and running through the plumber 's shop behind it , and running through the house of the woman who manages our post office , the river running a quarter of a mile beyond its usual banks through the fields and over the road and onto the other side , coursing through house after house , overtaking even the front row of the trailer park , shoving people 's trailers right off their moorings . And those people were lucky . Somebody somewhere else had their trailer washed away . Folks over on the other side of town saw it go under the River Street Bridge . I didn 't know that , but the River Street Bridge was where I was heading . It was about seven o ' clock and getting dark , and I still knew so damn little . I didn 't know that up on Bethel Gilead , the water had crested and was coming down , but that even so , it was impossible to get to the house where Zeus the dog was - the man who had come to save him knew he would die if he tried to cross over . So in the midst of the awful din the flood made , he called to the dog from the hill , watching as the water swept down upon his house , pounding rocks against the back wall and pouring through , great surges sometimes bounding high into the air , dashing up against the roof , catapulting over . And that was fear jabbing at my gut , I realized that , but still I could not look away . I stood above the river on the Church Street Bridge , gaping . Then I went down the bank where there 's a railing , and gripping that , gaped some more , transfixed by the train - wreck force five feet below , what we had always naively thought of as our river now become some primeval god of destruction , a massive , mud - colored serpent barreling through town . Soon it would have us all in its maw . Then I remembered why I was there . I remembered my friends . I began to run , moving fast through the darkened town , past the store and the gas station , both closed , everything closed and dark , everything the same but different , because though I couldn 't hear it at this point , I knew that hurtling back behind the buildings on Main Street was that colossal water . Before I even reached River Street , I could see the emergency lights strafing the cement embankment opposite , the eerie flashing colors of danger in the night . I went down the hill . Under the railroad overpass , there was a barricade . On this side of it , ten or fifteen people were milling , some talking in clumps , some standing closer to the underpass , their hands on the railing of the barrier . On the other side of the barricade was water over the road , a wading amount but not moving , and beyond that , the River Street Bridge . I could see the front of it no more . Plus , just before it , about a hundred feet away , I could see the front of my friends ' house and their yard along the road . No water there , but it was getting darker . I looked again . So maybe I didn 't want to get my feet wet . But the darkness was the only thing that really gave me pause . Still , would I have gone if I had known the state of things on the other side of the bridge ? But I didn 't know . All I knew was I wanted to be sure my friends were all right . So I slipped under the barricade and slopped through the shin - high waters , wondering what kind of flooding there might be by the side of the house , wondering if the two of them would even be there at all . At first I thought they weren 't . But then , as I drew closer in the darkness , I saw the glow through the glass and went in . A dozen sweet votive candles lit the room and then my friends ' faces too as they turned toward me . And then they each gave me , separately as it turned out , a tour of the flooding in the yard . The back gardens were already underwater . The chickens had been let out because they would know what to do . The goats , because they wouldn 't , were in the back of the van by the house . Their usual homes in the basement below the shop were entirely flooded , the water having advanced nearly all the way up the four steps that led down to the pens from the driveway . That 's what they were watching , my friend said . If the water came up over that last step , they would leave . But he didn 't think they would need to . Last they knew the river was forecast to crest at 8 : 15 , and now it was nearing 7 : 30 . " Besides , if it gets bad fast , " he said , " we can always run up over the railroad tracks . " " Oh , and by the way , " he added , " the water is going over the River Street Bridge now . " We were in the house again at this point . I walked through to the back side , the river side , pulling open the slider door in the kitchen , heading for the concrete deck just off the back of the house , a place where many times I have been treated to dinner , savoring the food and my friends and the trees , their trunks , tall and straight , standing between us and the tattered River Street Bridge to the right . And below , keeping us company always , thirty feet off and twenty feet down , the river itself , the White , translucent waters my eyes have relished , sweetly rolling by . Sunday evening seven - thirty , I stepped out . The river was there - right there . It was roiling by half a foot below the deck : water , only water , water that was hard and swift and vast , sweeping by like the back of a dark and deeply powerful beast I could have knelt and touched . I went back in . I ate the freshly picked , wonderfully crisp green beans offered me , three of them , then a slice of thick bread layered with salmon spread . And then , our supper over , I focused my energies the way a magnifying glass concentrates light , putting all I had into convincing my friends it really was time to leave . We were lucky : we could leave . And we did . But Zeus the dog could not . He was trapped in a place that was all walls and river , waters he must have understood would kill him . Half - stumbling , half - swimming sideways against the fierce current , he must have made his way to the storage room back of the house where the gushing water was jamming a pile of household things against the wall - boxes and chairs - an always - shifting heap he must have clambered up so he could poke his nose into the rafters , up into what was the only pocket of air he could reach . But how did he do it ? The water was pounding through . It must have been swirling with wreckage , the force of that water and the things in it constantly battering him . How did that dog keep his nose above the water ? I sat on the hill , the man who loves Zeus later said , pointing , up there . And I called to him . I stayed till it was just about dark , calling his name . Sometimes I could hear him yelping back and I stayed calling , long as I could , till it was getting dark , till after the water started going down . The next morning , the morning after the flood , was strangely lovely , a perfectly sunny and soft end - of - summer day . All over Bethel , people were waking up and seeing what would have to be done . Roads and sidewalks and driveways were gone , entire fields layered under two feet of mud . This side of the River Street Bridge , their house thankfully spared , my friends were shoveling soggy bedding up out of the goat pen . On the other side of the River Street Bridge , neighbors were lining up to help the people whose places were wrecked , carrying out chairs and tables , armfuls of coats and books . But hours before this , just as soon as it was light , the man who 'd been unable to save his dog the night before made his way the three miles back up to his house in Bethel Gilead . He did not know if Zeus was alive , and in some places the hike was just as dangerous as it had been the day before . He had to climb steep hills to get around the stretches where the road still was river , risking mud slides once more . He also had to clamber over a tree that had fallen across the flooded brook , teetering over a current still strong enough to sweep away a car . Because that was what it was like living here in Bethel in the Flood of 2011 - the waters rose and took us by surprise . annamarjohnson says : October 28 , 2011 at 11 : 37 am Incredible . Thanks for sharing your experience , and especially the photos . Vermont has been much in my thoughts , but I really couldn 't imagine it until seeing / hearing / feeling it through your story . Reply Bridget says : October 28 , 2011 at 8 : 20 pm Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful piece . You are a fantastic writer ! Best wishes to you and everyone else affected by the hurricane and its floods . Reply bill gibson says : November 1 , 2011 at 8 : 41 pm Awesome writing and witnessing of the event . I loved - " it seemed almost as if the White River in flood were something too powerful to look upon , as if somehow I had stumbled into an Old Testament story , blundering witless before the very countenance of God , a thing it 's said no mortal besides Moses has ever had the capacity to see and survive . " Hilary is amazing . Reply Josie Carothers says : November 6 , 2011 at 6 : 02 pm I see . I see the floodbath the way I couldn 't before . And I see that Hilary , you are a force of nature yourself and understand things the way some of the rest of us want to . Reply JoAn Barret says : November 13 , 2011 at 11 : 29 pm WE HAVE VERY DEAR FRIENDS IN E . BETHEL , DON AND MAUREEN BROWN , AND DON SENT ME THE LINK TO YOUR STORY . I THINK I HELD MY BREATH ALL THE WAY TO THE END ! I HAVE 2 DOGS OF MY OWN AND I WAS SO RELIEVED THAT ZEUS MADE IT . WE WERE IN BETHEL IN 1998 AND I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER WHAT A BEAUTIFUL PLACE IT WAS THEN . IT BREAKS MY HEART TO SEE THE DESTRUCTION THAT IRENE LEFT . AND ON THE OTHER HAND , I AM SO THANKFUL THAT THE BROWNS WERE SAFE AND HAD NO DAMAGE . ALL OF BETHEL ' S RESIDENTS WILL BE IN MY PRAYERS FOR A LONG TIME . GOD BLESS THEM ALL , AND THANK YOU FOR SUCH A GRIPPING DESCRIPTION . I HAVE ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT OF ALL NATURE ' S DESTRUCTIVE POWERS , FLOODING IS THE WORST . WE HAVE TORNADOES , BUT THEY ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO THE FLOODING THERE . NEWNAN , GEORGIA Reply Jan Smith says : December 2 , 2011 at 9 : 14 am Hilary , I am so hapy The Herald of Randolph shared a portion of your story in their recent issue and I followed the link the read it all ! Having grown up in Brookfield and being so far away from my family still there ( and in Braintree , East Randolph , and Townshend ) , your story has given me a new understanding of what it must have been like on that dreadful late summer day . I heard my brother 's account of having to drive " the long way around " to get to his job in Rutland from Braintree , no longer able to travel down through Bethel and take Rt . 107 and Rt . 4 to get to work , and my sister shared of people she knew in Brattleboro , Jamaica , and other nearby towns whose lives were changed that day . But , your incredibly moving and descriptive account of the flooding in my beloved central Vermont has been greatly appreciated . Vermonters are tough and strong , and I 'm certain that the Green Mountain State will be rebuilt to even greater beauty than before . Thank you for sharing your gift of writing with the world ! Reply Brian Vachon says : January 12 , 2012 at 12 : 31 pm Hilary , what extraordinary prose . I read it like I wanted to get to the ending and know that everything would be okay , but you made me need to linger over your narrative because it is so superbly written . It is the best summary of Irene 's capricious extremes that I have seen . Reply Melissa Cronin says : July 10 , 2013 at 10 : 49 am My husband and I live in South Burlington and remember standing on our deck , our faces distorted by the the wind . We knew something terrible was unleashing a mere 15 miles south of us , but had no idea the damage it would cause . A couple of weeks later , when I ventured to Waterbury Center to donate food , the place looked like a war zone - that 's when I felt the visceral impact Irene 's vicious call . Reply Marie Hart says : August 27 , 2015 at 8 : 51 pm Just read this . My husband is the guy at the bridge . He is the one with the white hair . He helped alot with everything . He has been a firemen for 33 years and put in a , lot of time . The NC discussions are open to anyone . It 's a friendly place , easy to join . Just sign in on the comment box with your email address and write your comment . If you stick around , people will get to know you and you 're in ( except , of course , for the usual credit and criminal record checks , birth and citizenship authentication , school transcripts starting from kindergarten , photocopies of tax records , ID , credit cards , debit cards , etc . ) . If you turn up often and seem to get the drift of the magazine , you 'll be invited to submit . Please respect the generally high level of camaraderie and amiability already in evidence . The management wishes to acknowledge the financial support of Douglas " Deep - Pockets " Glover and no one else .
|
One of our students , " Johnnie , " has been the focus of a lot of bullying lately . It 's interesting because he used to be more of a bully himself . He 's bigger than many of the other kids and he was , until very recently , really angry . He was angry because he had no dad and because his mom always had to work and was sick with a bunch of different issues . He was angry because no one was able to really make him feel safe - he has dealt with eviction and not having regular meals and not having a bedtime or anyone to set limits at the house because his mom was working overnight . He also had pretty severe ADHD and was very frustrated that he didn 't have the ability to stop some of his impulsive behaviors . We worked with Johnnie to gain some emotional coping skills that he didn 't have before . We helped him identify his feelings and helped model how to talk to other children appropriately . We also enlisted the other kids in helping and this was where the biggest successes came in . Harbor House is a family and the kids talk about that often . we discussed frankly the fact that we are a family whether we are getting along or not and whether we are annoying one another or not . Then we talked about how to help each other . Johnnie was up front with wanting to " be nicer " to other kids , so we brainstormed together how we can all do that , taking the focus off of him . Th other kids were very helpful , both with empathy : " I have a hard time being nice to people when I feel bad about myself , " and with practical solutions , " You could say to someone , ' I 'm feeling lonely , will you be my friend ? ' " It was wonderful to see these kids rally around Johnnie , who quite honestly had not always treated them well . They were extremely forgiving and empathetic . But the real victory came at school . We went to pick up the kids from school one day and Johnnie was in tears : Someone had cursed at him and told him he flunked and said that he should die . However , all of the other kids who went to harbor House sprang into action as soon as they heard this . One of them said they knew who the bully was and went to tell the principal . One offered to be his friend on the walk to Harbor House . One said that he would play with Johnnie at recess . His sister told him that she loved him and that he was her best brother ( we won 't tell the other brother ) . And when we got back to Harbor House , a fifth grader wrote a note for this first grader , saying that , " Just so you know if you are sad or bullied , someone will always be there for you and I am talking about myself . " The kids picked up on the delight with which Mitali talked about " story , " and the stories we all have and relate to , and followed her talk raptly . She pointed out that stories are all around us , including in songs , and that all a story needs are " people , place , and plot . " Many of the kids chose her newest book , Tiger Boy , about a boy in India who is going up against poachers to save a tiger cub . She was gracious and let the kids and teenage staff take pictures with her , which they loved . On the last day of our program , Mac Barnett stopped by for his second visit to Harbor House . He talked to all the kids , as he writes books for both younger and older children . Mac read a few of his picture books , and his charming humor pairs incredibly with the talented illustrators he 's worked with . All of the books were hits , but the most exciting one was his as - yet - unpublished book Leo : A Ghost Story , a sweet book about a misunderstood little ghost who wants to make mint tea and honey toast for his friends . The kids loved it and couldn 't believe they were hearing a book that wasn 't even in stores yet ! He signed the book and left it for us under another pile of books so that I found it while cleaning up . I wasn 't sure how many of the younger kids would appreciate having their books signed , but they were thrilled . They basically mobbed him and he didn 't seem to mind , but talked to each of them , listening intently when they had something to tell him . It was clear that he genuinely enjoyed his audience and connected to them in a very meaningful way . Both authors made the world of writing and publishing more accessible to the children . The kids ( and the staff ! ) were starstruck and felt so special to have these guests take time out of their busy schedules to talk to them . This is incredibly important for kids who often feel ( justifiably ) that they are overlooked and ignored . I know how generous it is for authors who must have to charge for most appearances to do this pro bono for us . We look forward to continuing our relationships with Harbor House 's two favorite authors . Every day at Harbor House , we have a devotion time where we learn about something from the Bible and pray together . Our kids are from such a diverse group of religions and personal experiences , and most of our lessons revolve around how much God loves them . I also like to tell them how they can talk to God at any time and any place they want . Today , I asked them if anyone knew what my favorite Bible story was . They did : the one where the kids flock to Jesus and the disciples rebuke them , saying that they should leave Jesus alone . Jesus , in turn , rebukes the disciples , telling them to " let the little children come to me . " I love telling children that story , especially children who haven 't heard it before and are awe - struck at the fact that Jesus wanted to spend time with people just like them . It is a true honor to see children 's faces as they realize the love of God for them . Today , we took it a little farther and all prayed together . We pray every day and bring one or two kids up front to pray for our snack and whatever concerns are on their heart . It is an honest , beautiful process to see kids talking directly to God . We have a bit of a wonderful problem in that too many of the kids want to pray every day , so today I decided to let them go for it . I told them that we would all pray together , and they could just close their eyes and raise their hands and when I called their name , they could ask or thank God for something . About a third of them did it - which is a huge fraction to speak in front of the whole group , let alone in something as intimate as prayer . They asked for rain , healing for family members , jobs and money for family members , and good things for Harbor House . They thanked God for food , friends , family , life , Harbor House , and " everything . " It was beautiful and I am so honored to have been a part of it . Posted by We have staff whose family have origins in Cambodia , China , the Philippines , Thailand , Laos , Mexico , Vietnam , Cameroon , Nigeria , and Tanzania , as well as African Americans , Caucasian Americans , and one Native American staff member . These staff members are between 13 - 27 years old ( the ones in their mid - 20s are not pictured ) , plus me ( not telling ) . Some go to Oakland public schools , some to community colleges in Oakland , and some to private schools ( one young woman has a scholarship to an extremely prestigious private school in the area ) . The one thing they all have in common is that they really want to do their best . They 're here for the kids , although sometimes they forget that , which is understandable because they are kids themselves . They are kind , thoughtful , funny , and help me out whenever I ask ( usually ) . They are my favorite teenagers . One of our more dedicated Harbor House volunteers is an avid quilter . Harbor House does have a quilting group , but that wasn 't what attracted this volunteer . As someone who 's worked with children as a court - appointed special advocate ( CASA ) , Bruce wanted to stay in touch with one of his families after his official capacity ended . So when the kids joined the Harbor House program , Bruce offered to volunteer with us once a week . Thus started what Humphrey Bogart might call a beautiful friendship between Bruce and Harbor House . Bruce works with the youngest kids ; primarily the boys . Many of these little guys have no male role models in their lives and crave the attention of any man who volunteers . They don 't have a lot of people who really listen to them , and Bruce does this well . He sits on the ground with the kids and looks them in the eye and gives them his full attention , whether they 're having an argument , playing a game or telling a drawn - out story about their neighbor 's cat . Some volunteers increase their involvement as they get to know an organization while others slowly fade away as the novelty wears off . Bruce is the former . In addition to spending time with the kids , he started buying us snack ingredients , which both helps out our budget and the over - stretched schedules of our staff who would otherwise have to go snack shopping . When we discussed how often he 'd want to come help out during the summer program , Bruce started with Tuesdays and Thursdays , then decided Friday field trips sounded fun . Before the program started , he had added in Mondays , and he just let me know that he could often come on Wednesdays , just a little late . Our teenage staff is sometimes a little hesitant about having volunteers assigned to help them . They 've seen many volunteers come and go , and while there have been some absolute shining stars , it can be hard for teenagers with a lot of responsibility to adjust to different people helping . In addition , many of our volunteers are white ( our staff and kids are generally not ) and of retirement age , so it can be tough for the staff to relate to them . Wary of these concerns about volunteers , I asked the counselor in charge of one of the younger groups if she was OK having Bruce volunteer for the summer in her group . She said , " Yay Bruce ! Do I get him the whole time ? ? That helps me so much . Everyone loves Bruce ! ! " Yes , Bruce , everyone here at Harbor House does love you . Here 's lookin ' at you , kid . At Harbor House , we get a lot of volunteer groups . The one we had this past week was wonderful ! Coming all the way from the University of Tampa in Florida , this group of 10 students and one advisor was enthusiastic about everything . They stayed at Harbor House and immediately endeared my staff to them by offering to clean up the kitchen after each afternoon 's snack . The kids are quite used to volunteers , but most volunteers stay a week or less ( sometimes only a day ) , so the kids were pleasantly surprised when , after a weekend , the same group was still there and remembered their names . There were some hidden talents such as singing and ukelele playing that we put to good use , and everyone in the group was friendly , open , and wanted to spend time reading to the kids and learning about Oakland . [ This is Christina , one of our senior interns , who talked at our fundraiser on Saturday . She was mature and poised and really touched me . If you 'd like to support her and other other inters , please click on the " donate " button or write to me for how you can send a check . Thanks ! ] crying she hugged me and said thank you . Ever since that day , we have been great friends . And , when the following year came , I had her I love the kids in the youth program . I tell them that we are all part of God 's family - that through God 's love , he has made us all part of the same family , even though we look very different . At this point , we usually have one of the younger kids get really excited and point out that even though our skin is totally different ( I am definitely in the minority as a white person at Harbor House ) , we are related . Some of them just think it 's funny that a very white Caucasian American and a very dark - skinned Nigerian American could be part of the same family , and some of them are really touched that they are God 's child , that God loves them , and that the staff and other kids love them . " Aaron " is one of the latter . He has a rough life . He 's lived in a variety of different situations during the school year - an apartment , several shelters , with his mom 's ex , with relatives , and been kicked out of most of them because of his mother 's behavior . She has her own issues that she is dealing with and loves her son very very much but has probably never seen or experienced what it 's like to be a healthy parent who can provide for her child . Aaron has never met his father . This boy absolutely loves that he can be a part of God 's family . He told me once that having God as his father " makes me whole . " Recently , in devotion , I told the kids that people always ask me why I don 't have kids . He said , as loud and enthusiastically as he could , " Because you have all of us ! ! ! We 're your family ! " We have a child in our program who is very angry . In fact , he tells us almost every day how angry he is . He is angry because his siblings get all the attention , because we will only help him with his homework and not do it for him , because he doesn 't want to do homework , and because we won 't let him scream at or hit his sister . Danny takes incredible patience to work with , because his most common reaction is to scream at the staff person who is helping him . If he is not actively yelling , he is generally at least being rude . We have been working very hard with Danny to help him name and manage his feelings . We explain over and over that he can be angry and we understand that he is angry , but he cannot be rude or yell at people . He usually responds by shouting , " But I 'm angry ! " One of the tools that we 've used for him is something I developed in my classroom and call a " feelings paper . " The kids can mark what they 're feeling - everything from frustrated to angry to excited to happy to sad to nervous - and sometimes they choose all of the feelings . Danny gave me a feelings paper at least once a day , maybe more , EVERY DAY for the first few months of this school year . All of them said he was angry . Usually in big , bold , capital letters . I have been so proud of my young staff . Although they are mostly in high school , they do not lose their tempers with him . It 's actually almost unbelievable how calm they are . He yells at them and they respond politely . He throws papers at them and they don 't react . They are continually patient and kind , far after many professional teachers would have lost their cool . I think they really do understand that he 's having a hard time and needs kindness modeled to him . It 's hard for any of us to believe that we are getting anywhere when children are this upset all the time . So it felt pretty incredible to everyone when one of the staff got this card . We have never heard Danny say thank you in any way . We have never heard him acknowledge that we help him . This was a wonderful sign that he does know , deep down , that we love him and we want him to succeed . It is also a powerful testament to my staff for remaining calm and kind and truly showing Danny the love of God . UPDATE : Since I 've written this , there has been an incredible turnaround in Danny . Many of the staff have commented that he " seems like a normal kid now . " What they mean by that is that he is not furious all the time . He 's no angel , but he is spending time playing instead of screaming , doing his homework most of the time , and usually not being rude to people . When he is rude , if you pull him aside and talk to him , there 's much less yelling and much more of a conversation . He smiles a lot . He takes compliments . He usually doesn 't hit his sister at Harbor House any more , and he uses the words " please " and " thank you . " He looks happy a lot of the time . This is a complete turnaround . For the latter part , we have a small army of wonderful , dedicated tutors . They are friends or church members who have been recruited - many retired or with grown children so have a little more free time . They help mainly with math but have stepped in with other subjects as well . Being teenagers , the students getting tutoring do not always have the best follow - through rate . They want and appreciate the help , but things come up . Parents schedule family dinners , students don 't feel well , they forget their backpacks or other materials , or they decide at the last minute that they can do their homework themselves . Whenever this happens , I talk to them about how the tutors have taken time out of their schedule and it 's unfair to stand them up - sometimes these talks help , and sometimes they don 't , but I think it 's a learning process to see how your actions affect someone else , and we are all constantly learning . At one point , I was emailing with some of our newer tutors who were deciding if we had a need for them . When all of our students who said they needed help actually showed up , we definitely needed all the tutors . When one or more came unprepared or not at all , we had tutors doubled up or sometimes sitting around . I always felt bad for the tutors who weren 't being fully utilized and hoped they didn 't feel like we were wasting their time . I emailed one of them and she wrote back : To some degree we tutors are demonstrating to the staff the faithfulness of God . We can be there every week whether the staff is there or not . We can even faithfully be there on those days that the staff says they will be there and then does not arrive . This is especially important for young people who have not experienced that same dependability and faithfulness in their own families . From what you have mentioned , I suspect that Harbor House is that safe place , that dependable place for many of these young people . It is an honor for my husband and me to be included . That is a beautiful sentiment . I am so grateful for them and their faithfulness . I do think that the staff will see their faithfulness , in retrospect if not now . And I hope it will reflect to them , how faithful God is . I went to pick up our students from school to walk them to Harbor House on Monday , the first day after Christmas break . When the bell rang , " Jose " ran away from his classroom and straight at me . " I missed you so much ! ! ! " He shouted this and ran to me with his arms open wide , hugging me as hard as he could . Jose is six years old and has a beautiful , kind , loving heart . He also has a pretty hard life in a lot of ways . His mom has four children : Jose , his 7 - year old sister , his 11 - year old brother , and his 14 - year old sister . Their mother , Val , suffers from chronic illness and is a single mother . She works as a security guard , outside , in the cold and on her feet . She is understandably exhausted . The 14 - year old picks up a lot of the parenting responsibilities , which is hard for everyone involved . Jose had a very challenging year last year , both in class and with us . We had to have him take breaks from our after - school program a few times because he ran into the street and behaved in other ways that were very unsafe . Every time he came back , he would apologize profusely and be very remorseful , and then do the exact same thing . His teacher was extremely frustrated with him and told me about it in detail every time I met with her . This year , Jose is calming down soon and definitely trying as hard as he can . He still has some issues , and we worked with the wonderful counselor at his school to give him services when he told me that sometimes he wants to be friends with someone but his brain tells him to bite them instead . . The counselor is , fortunately , a huge fan of Jose and loves working with him . If you 've ever wondered if approval makes a difference for a child , I told him yesterday that i had talked to his counselor and the counselor said , " He 's such a nice boy . " Jose beamed like it was Christmas . I am very optimistic about Jose 's future , partly because he has so many people on his side , and partly because we are starting interventions so early . Don 't get me wrong , it is hard to be him . And I think it 's very hard to be his mother much of the time . But she texted me last night and said , " Thank God for ppl like you and all hh staff with not only professionalism but passion and knowledge of understanding human nature and children 's view . " She knows we will support her , we will love , support , correct , and praise her child , and that we are available to help find additional resources like counseling . Jose doesn 't sleep well or enough hours and often goes to the couch outside the offices at Harbor House to take a nap . He literally eats , sleeps , plays , learns , and works at Harbor House , and that makes it very much of a home for him .
|
It feels to me like for ever since I wrote something . I can tell you though , I 've spent some time here actually just rereading my blog , and I 've concluded something : I 'm so glad I have a blog ! It 's great to have a record of " deep thoughts " I 've had , and it 's been wonderful to reread the exercise of my mind . Thing is … I don 't have much to say . Maybe tomorrow I 'll post something with pictures of the nursery . That 's really been what I 've been working on for the last week or so . Baby will be delivered on July 5 , which is just 36 days away now , if you 're counting ( like I am ) and I want to be ready . And we almost are ! The final things that we need are not essential : her bear , and her piggy bank . She can be born and even come home without those possessions having found their way into our home . What I can say is that her room is even better than I could have hoped for … I am so happy with it . It 's a lovely space , and since Saturday ( when the EPIC decal got on the wall ) I have spent time sitting in the room , in the chair that I was rocked in as an infant , rubbing my belly and telling my little girl how excited I am that she 's almost here . I 've been having a lot of Braxton Hicks ( fake - out contractions ) for about a month now . They 've become pretty much a daily experience now … I don 't remember this from other pregnancies , but it doesn 't mean it didn 't happen . You tend to forget a lot of stuff about being pregnant , which is why so many of us go back more than once ! Anyway , I just wanted to take a moment to let you know that I 'm still here , and one day soon I 'm sure my dander will get up and I 'll have something to write about . Or something wonderful will happen and I 'll rush right over to share the story with you . For now , I 'm just trying to get the quilt done . Some people will have you believe that 10 years is a long time . It 's a decade ; and our world really likes to work with 10 's . We celebrate and cheer when a couple reach their 10 - year wedding anniversary , and every decade after that too . When our children turn 10 , it 's a big deal because they are really no longer little people : they are on the cusp of teen years , requiring more freedom and control over their lives . In any given 10 year period , people get married , and some get divorced ; people are born , and people pass away ; homes are built , bought , lived in and sold again . Holidays are celebrated , milestones are marked , time passes . 10 years is almost half of my brother 's life . He turned 21 in March , and then passed away in May . If you think about half of your life , there is no doubt - however old you are - that it 's a long time . I found that when we had come to the 5 - year anniversary of his passing , we had really encountered all of the " firsts " . The first move without his scrawny , wiry frame foisting around the equivalent of his body weight . The first babies to our family were conceived , birthed and celebrated . We had faced all of the holidays ( Canada Day , Labour Day , Thanksgiving , Halloween , Christmas , New Years , Valentine 's Day , his birthday - all of our birthdays for that matter - Easter and then the dreaded Victoria Day weekend ) , and the trial against the driver of the car was all said and done . We knew what to expect as each event came , we knew how we reacted to the approach of days like tomorrow , we could anticipate what our life would be like until it ends . Does that mean it 's long enough ? Does that mean that I don 't still think about him ? Does that mean that on occaision a thought of him catches me unaware and I burst into tears over his absence in my life ? 5 years later , 10 years later , and I imagine 30 years later , I will still mourn his absence in my life . A friend of mine recently said to me that she thinks of her loss as , " Well , that 's 10 years you 've missed me and 10 years that I 've missed you . " I suppose that 's apt . Because you know , while I believe that he 's with me and in a better place and happy and all that ; while I talk to him routinely and believe that he sometimes answers me ; it 's not the same . We 've healed as much as we can ; what 's really happened is that we have morphed into different people . People who don 't know shocking loss will tell you that " Time heals all wounds . " The truth that I have come to live with is that in fact that 's not at all true . You just get used to living with the pain . It becomes a partner in your life , a companion who is always with you , an old friend you can count on . So Glenn , you 've missed a lot . Your nephews and your niece , roller coaster rides , new pasta dishes , awesome new video games , the last 2 installments in the Lord of the Rings movie adaptations . I too , have missed so much . Who would you be now ? Would you be a father ? Would you be living in the country like you always wanted ? Would you be working with dogs , or any animals ? Would you be married ? Would you have finished high school ? I guess that 's where it gets different . What your life would be like is a series of unanswered questions , because it just ended . It just ended as it was getting started really , and I miss terribly not being able to see the man you would have become . The other day , Connor came home with a birthday invitation . Normally this occurrence does not cause any concern , other than " what are we going to get for a present ? What do you know about them ? Do they have any wants ? " You know , the usual sorta thing . This invitation was different though . I like to think of myself as a fairly modern woman , easy going and adaptable . I try to be an engaged parent , who 's friend enough with her kids that they want to talk to me , and spend time with me , while at the same time being the authority figure . I like to be seen as reasonable , supportive and accommodating . When I read that invitation though , all thoughts of fun and openness flew out the window . " Some hussy wants to spend the night with my baby boy ? ? ? I don 't think so ! " It did put me into a minor state of alarm though … these kids are 8 year - olds , for the most part … Is it acceptable to have co - ed sleep - overs , with people to whom you are not related , when you 're this old ? So I did what any reasonable person does when faced with a dilemma : I posted it to facebook . And what a flurry of commentary that brought on ! Before I go on , I feel that I should share something very personal with you . Here 's why : it fully colours my perspective and influences my thought processes around parenting . Even more so when considering the " co - ed sleepover " type questions . I am a survivor of sexual abuse . My first offense happened when I was 6 . So to be honest , I was surprised when we had " the talk " with Connor recently that he didn 't know what sex was . There 's a fine line , I think , between responsible parenting and imposing your own experiences on your children . It 's not that I think because he was invited to a co - ed sleepover at the age of 8 that he will be molested , or made to do something that he doesn 't want to do . It 's not that I 'm worried about the parents of this little girl treating my son inappropriately either . When I posted my concern about this invite to facebook , a friend of mine who has some shared history with me made her position clear : do not send the kid , kids are into " show me yours , I 'll show you mine " and he will be … for lack of a better word , unsafe . Because of my history , I know what she 's talking about . I 'm not worried about the adults in the host - home for the sleepover , it 's that there will be other children there , who may have had the terrible misfortune of experience like mine . And once that train is out of the station , there is no turning back . Abused children instigate these games because they are innocent and are unaware that what they are suggesting is highly inappropriate . I know this because my first offender was not the picture you think of when you think " child abuser " . My first offender was a child , who was engaging in play with me the way someone else - likely an adult in a position of trust - had played with him . Ultimately , I am likely to allow Connor to spend the night . What 's important to me is that there is another boy attending because I think that will make him feel a lot more comfortable . I know that Connor has a very strong sense of himself , is not easily swayed to do what he is not comfortable with ( have you met MOMD ? Connor is so much like his Dad ) and he has a very firm grasp on privacy and his need for it . I do not think he will engage in inappropriate behaviour . I trust him to be a perfect little 8 - year - old boy . It 's been a long time since I wrote poetry . It 's been a long time since I was inspired to , to be honest . But this morning I woke with a start to something in my mind , et voila . It 's born of many things , not the least of which is the controversy spawned by the cover of Time this week . I started a post on that , and you know , it might still get published . But for now , I 'm going to let it lie . There are some fantastic posts out there ( like this one and this one to point you to just 2 ) and really , the inflammatory piece really doesn 't warrant any more attention . Today , I ask you to think before you judge , and to stop before you give voice to that judgement . Your right to have an opinion is accompanied by an equally important right : to think before you state it . While today is officially named " Mother 's Day " I personally believe that it 's a day in which all women who care for children in any capacity - as a sister , aunt , cousin , daycare provider , neighbour , friend … whatever capacity you can think of - to be celebrated for the joy and honour it is to be Woman . It 's been a while since I 've written . And really , not for any tragic or dramatic reason . Nothing 's happening … except that it 's May . I 've started a few posts in the last week , but only one of them made it to your screen . The most recent draft was full of complaints - so much so that I actually titled it , " No One Likes a Complainer " . For realsies . I 've been on myself about this … why am I not writing ? I 'm sure I have something to say . And I 've got a few minutes to bang something out too , so . . why not ? And then it hit me : You may be wondering what the month has to do with anything . Well , really : May 's a big month for me . In fact , it 's not really the whole month , but rather just a couple of days in short succession . To be sure , there 's good and bad in those days . But still ; it 's a lot of emotion to process in 3 days . Generally it takes up my whole month . On May 18 , 2002 , I was at a friend 's house , playing board games with a bunch of other friends . We had a great night , and when all was said and done , MOMD & I went home to our apartment to call it a day . We were tucked in bed for the night , and about to be asleep when the phone rang . It was my parents calling . They were at our life - long retreat ( it was a trailer on Rice Lake , north and east of Cobourg that we always called " The Lake " ) for the long weekend and were now making their way back to the city , following the ambulance that was carrying my brother . Could we meet them at Sunnybrook ? Umm … yes . Yes we 'll be there . It 's funny the things you remember … moments of that night seems so clear to me . Like still photos in an album , except with emotion attached to them . The 3 of us ( MOMD , my sister & I ) got there before my parents , but at about the same moment that my brother arrived . We had been nervously joking in the cab that he had probably broken another bone , obviously seriously since he was being rushed to Toronto , and that all he really wanted was some attention . " That 's younger siblings for you , " was the overall tone . Because you see , we didn 't really know what had happened … My parents - who can blame them really - could not tell us the extent and severity of the accident . You know , I 'm not even sure that they knew what had happened at the time . Anyway . So we get to Sunnybrook and I overhear the emergency triage nurses talking about a patient who just arrived via ambulance , and I hear them say that his blood type is B . " HA ! " I said to my sister , " Mom lied to everyone ! I bet you 're type B too , " I said with a laugh . Why his blood type mattered , why I said my mom lied , is another story . I just remember this moment so vividly … so clearly … and I think it 's embedded in the fabric of that terrible morning because I was not grasping the severity of the situation . Eventually my parents arrived , along with various and sundry cousins , aunts & uncles . No one knew what the outcome would be , but I think that some of them had a better idea than I did . It was 2 : 35 in the morning when a chaplin and a doctor came to the waiting room to talk to us . They saw everyone there , and decided to ask the " family " to come with them . So we went - Dad , Mom , Amanda , me & Mitchell . Actually initially Mitchell stayed behind : it was just my parents , my sister & I . Then my Dad said , " Go get Mitchell , he 's family . " So I ran back to get him . We were taken to an operating room . Glenn was there , lying on a table . I think he was in a hospital gown , although I really do not remember what he was wearing . This is where the night moves from a photo - like memories to images trapped under water , shimmering and shifting , with sound sometimes penetrating the barrier . I imagine this is the effect of shock . His face was bruised , and his eyes were protruding so badly … like they were trying to get out of his head . The doctor - a neurologist - said a lot of things . I remember him saying phrases like " sustained blow to the head " , " swelling on the brain " , " not reducing " , " fatal " . I remember my Mom standing alone , stroking Glenn 's hand … I remember my sister falling to the floor , sobbing , clinging to my Dad 's legs … I remember that I did not know what " fatal " meant when the doctor said it . I remember at some point Mitchell moved to my Mom 's side , put his arm around her … I remember we didn 't want to leave him . We wanted to stay in that room so that we could wake up . So that we could leave this awful dark place and return to our honest and real realities . Because this ? This was hell . We didn 't wake up . It 's been almost 10 years now that he 's been gone . We know this reality now . That our kids will only know who he is from our telling of him , from pictures , and sometimes we 'll see him in them . That 's probably the hardest , good thing about genetics . Although I don 't know what I 'll do if this baby I 'm carrying is born with his eyes … that might be a little much for me to handle . Although there was a time when I would have said loosing my brother would be more than I could handle . And 10 years later , I 'm still here , handling the situation as best I can . I suppose that if she has his eyes ( which , incidentally are also my Mom 's eyes ) then I 'll get through that too . I started out telling you that there are good things in May : there are . On May 18 one of my longest and dearest friends was born . On May 19 , my brother died . On May 20 , I married MOMD . So you see , there 's a lot of emotion packed into May . You 'll forgive me , I know , if my posts are erratic and then emotionally charged when they do happen . Because really : it 's just May . I started this post a few days ago , when I was in a mood created mostly by what was happening in my world ( anyone with children of any age - your own or ones you rent - can relate to this for sure ) . I felt that no one was listening to me . Mostly because , they weren 't . I spend my whole day with my kids . Kids are , by nature , very selfish little creatures . They do what they want , demand what they want , and if it is not provided post haste , they let you know how you 've failed them in the loudest and most obvious of ways . I get that . It 's what they 're programmed to do until enough time , experience and grooming from parents and caregivers shows them that in fact , they are not the only people in the world . Anyway , what I started out writing on Tuesday is not really what I 'll be posting today . That said , it 's been niggling at me , because there are some good points I was making ( in my of course very humble opinion ) in my " ranty " piece . So I 'm going to take those points , and attempt to make a piece worth reading . Here goes : People have been asking me why I started a blog . It 's a valid question , especially since it seems that everyone and their dog has one now ( you know about dogbook , right ? ) . My answer was generally things like , " To find my voice " or " To have a place to share the adult thoughts I would have through the day when I was surrounded by little people . " Sometimes I would say something like , " Well , in high school I had a teacher who once said of my writing : ' Every time Michelle puts a pen to paper , a diamond is produced . ' It 's been a long time since I wrote anything other than a shopping list , and I wanted to see if I 've still got it . " Writing this blog is a place for me to express silliness ( like this , or like this even ) , my fears ( like this , and this ) , my indignation ( like this and this too ) , my sadness ( like this ) , my gratitude ( building it up , like here or expressing it freely like here ) and really , just any emotion I am feeling at the moment . I appreciate you for reading what I write , because even if you don 't comment , I see that you were here via my stats page . If you do comment , I love it because I know that I 've struck a chord - good or bad - with someone else , and we can have a discussion ( if not an actual conversation ) and I know for SURE then someone 's listening . I guess really , I was only making one good point in the post I started out on Tuesday . That was this : I am so grateful for you , my reader ! Thank you for taking a few minutes from your day to read - and sometimes engage in discussion with me - about what 's going on in my life . That simple , passive act on your part has given me immense comfort . I want you to know just how thankful I am for you . In the past I have shared about my ongoing issues with weight . It 's been a struggle of mine for much of my life , and one that I do not want to pass on to my children . While it 's true that from time to time we go to chain , fast - food restaurants , it is far from the norm . In fact , my kids get so excited about Subway , those other burger - based joints are routinely skipped over . There are days though , where we end up in one . We talk a lot about how it 's not healthy food , and why is it that stuff that is so bad for us ( deep fried potatoes are linked to cancer - did you know that ? ) can taste so good in the moment . We talk about how if we go to one of the chain restaurants , it 's only because we have all eaten really well that day , and will not be having any junk to eat afterwards . Anyway . Yesterday was McHappy Day . On Monday , Connor brought home a little note from school advising parents of that fact ( a fact the kids were all ready well aware of , thanks to classroom discussion ) , and explaining that staff from his school would be working at the restaurant on Bayly from 3 : 30 - 5 : 00 . Further , money raised that day would be directed to a local children 's organization - The Grandview Centre . When I saw this note , I had a little flicker of unease . At first , I didn 't know exactly what it was , so I pushed the feeling down and got on with getting homework done , starting dinner and chasing the boys around . I actually didn 't take the time to address my discomfort until we were sitting in the restaurant yesterday , the boys having just finished eating their dinners . As it turns out , I have several issues with this . One : There is a strong sense of community in schools . Particularly in my son 's school , which is a Tribe school . This is great in many , many ways and I admit that I love his school pride and spirit . However , it makes it very difficult to say " we aren 't participating " in a school activity , because it 's a value statement . As his parents , when we say no , we are telling him that what he values is not important to us . And ever since this , I 'm working really hard not to do that . Two : I don 't want to send the message that supporting charities that focus on children 's welfare is not important . Especially since we have used the services of the beneficiary in this particular case ( Sam 's hearing assessment happened at Grandview ) . It 's a great opportunity to have a discussion about what kind of needs kids have , what the charities help them with , and ultimately helps my kids to see how much they have in their lives . Three : ( And this is the biggie ) Schools are more and more , becoming places of health . Connor has gym 4 days out of 5 , has outdoor play 3 times a day , and even has a " healthy snack " program . Kids are taught about food groups , healthy choices , unhealthy choices , and parents are talked to when lunch bags seem to be consistently unhealthy . There 's a strong focus on educating both the parent and child in an effort to have healthier individuals in society . Connor has even had marketing education : he came home from school one day talking about the lies in commercials . I for one , think this is great . If we are working so hard to raise healthy people , why on earth would a school link arms with a fast - food restaurant ? Many schools - Connor 's included - are free of vending machines now : no pop , no chips , no chocolate bars . If you want to buy a drink at school , you 're choices are either white or chocolate milk ( whether or not that 's " healthy " is another debate altogether , so I 'll skip over it in this post ) . If you didn 't bring your snacks , or you forgot your lunch , there are fruits and vegetables and yogurts . These children are looking to parents and educators for guidance , they trust us . And telling them " Let 's go to McDonalds to help kids and support out community , " is a departure from their usual message . It muddies the waters , and makes it more difficult to explain to my kids that french fries are unhealthy and are making us sick , so we have to eat less of them . When the school aligned themselves for this community day - which again I stress is a great initiative helping many , many people who need our help - they put a stamp of approval on the restaurant , and the food it serves .
|
We took the water taxi to the airport and weighed our luggage . We were allowed 23 kg each and we both registered at about 20 kg . I feel like I failed . I should have shopped more ! We grabbed lunch before the flight . I passed the salad and it occurred to me that I should probably have one for lunch . Nah , why start now ? You don 't make friends with insalate … so pizza and Peroni it is . Thank god for my clean - up crew because if I ate more than half of each meal , I 'd be more than doughy by now ! I wonder who 's gained more weight - me and Kelly or the dogs . Grandpa likes to share - first his toast in the morning , then there 's the orange break , lunch and dinner . And don 't forget that Dad 's dog will whack the cupboard anytime she 'd like a biscuit . Can 't wait to pick up Murphy & Dakota tonight . I 've had doggie withdrawal and haven 't seen many cats since Sorrento . Absolutely no cats in Venice , but there were quite a few little dogs . We 're now sitting in Heathrow waiting for our nine hour flight home . Kelly finally saw his Ferrari - here in the Heathrow airport . The conclusion to our honeymoon is here . We 've had a great time in Italy and enjoyed each place we visited . Rome for the amazing ruins - something that 's 50 years old in Vancouver is considered old so to see the Colosseum standing and in pretty decent shape , just amazing . We walked through a lot of Rome , took the subway and enjoyed the people watching . Sorrento was a complete change . Such a beautiful area - Positano , Capri and Sorrento . Very different culture here - laid back , no crazy ( well , less crazy ) drivers and wonderful food . We had some of our best meals in the area . Not to mention the authentic version of the cannoli ( which I will now have to learn to make to keep Kelly happy ) . It took almost a day to get to Montalcino in the Tuscany region . Beautiful , just beautiful . The rolling hills , variations in the field colours - browns , greens , reds - and the Cyprus trees are stunning . We saw a couple of Tuscan towns as well as Some of our final observations about Italy : - I was surprised that not knowing Italian wasn 't an issue in most places . I really must commend the people in the restaurants and shops for learning English , I know it 's not an easy language . Although , you don 't want to throw in any slang as they look at you like you 've just shot a lemon out of your nose ( and the lemons are large in Sorrento ) . - I found the streets crowded and the locals pushy - it was like being in Montreal . No " mi scusi " , just push your way through . I gave up saying " I 'm sorry " after being bumped into 100 times and instead , put out my pointy elbows . That will give you a mi scusi . - Don 't bring your North American flat iron to Italy - it isn 't happy being converted to a different voltage , and it will rebel by scorching your hair . - Scooters actually have different traffic rules than vehicles . They 're allowed to drive in between the cars , ignore traffic signals and cut off anyone they like . It 's surprising you don 't see more flattened scooters on the road . - Everyone told us not to bother with bottled wine , just order the house wine . Well , we didn 't have a good bottle of house wine anywhere so we started to order bottles after a few misses . Nothing expensive , other than our dinner at Il Buco . - There 's no free WiFi in Italy . We never found any public WiFi and the only time we had free Internet was at the hotel in Sorrento and the B & B in Montalcino . Although in both places , you could only use it in the main room downstairs since the walls are a foot thick . - We didn 't see any obvious prostitution , drug dealing or even a tattoo shop . Very un - Vancouverish . The only real crime we saw were the dudes pushing the fake LV bags in Rome and Venice . And lastly , travel with someone you love , like I did . It makes even the most mundane things fun and an adventure . Until our next trip , ciao . We set out in the drizzle , which quickly turned to light rain . We thought we 'd head toward the area on the coast where the parks were but as there was quite a bit of flooding by the canal , we headed in land a bit to look for streets that are less crowded . We succeeded but eventually , the crowds found us again . After walking in the rain for a few hours , we decided to head back to the hotel to dry out our feet . Towards San Marco we go - only to find the entire piazza flooded by about 1 . 5 feet of water . The platforms were up to get people through the piazza , but they were narrow and the one we started on took us to the museum ( where we didn 't want to go ) . There was a pack of 10 year olds screaming and pushing in front of us . I 'm telling you , bambino , if I go for a swim , I 'm taking you and three of your pals with me . No ? Just try me . Si si . Kelly and I headed back out of the piazza to try to walk around San Marco rather than take an hour to walk through it on the platforms ( since none of the platforms went straight across the piazza ) . I put on my OnStar Venice application in my head and led Kelly to his favourite gelato , only to find them closed . So we were forced to try another place , which was good . And yes , we 've had way too much gelato , pizza , pasta and wine while we were in Italy . WAY too much . I hope my pants still fit me when we get home and I don 't find that my jeans have just been expanding with the gelato pounds . We walked by a number of restaurants and it doesn 't look like any Italians run the restaurants , at least in the tourist areas . The gondola business is slow on a rainy , windy day . The gondola dudes weren 't even bothering with their usual " gondale , gondala ? " Is that like Valerie , Valera , Valerie , Valer - a - ha - ha - ha - ha - ha ? They dudes by our hotel were just sitting there , eating a panini and having a birra . Are there drinking and paddling laws here ? We came back to the room and polished off the cheese and crackers from yesterday . Kelly changed channels , looking for something in EnglIt was still raining but we decided to venture out for dinner . I had to blow dry my Teva 's as they were still wet from today 's walkabout . We went to Tavernetta San Maurizio for dinner and had pasta ( for the 100th time ) . I had a rigatoni with olive oil , tomatoes and basil - Kelly , lasagne . It was ok . I must say , what they say about food in Venice is true - at least from our experience . It 's expensive and not very good . There was no hair in the food tonight ( darn , I forgot to pluck a hair from some unsuspecting passer - by ) so we had to pay for the entire meal . Half way through our meal , an American family showed up and Snooki from Jersey Shore was the daughter . Not really , but she was a good knock off . She didn 't shut up the entire time about herself and we never heard her parents utter a word except for mom , she threw in an F bomb at one point . Snooki ordered in Italian ( with a NY accent ) and then quickly switched to English when the waiter spoke back to her . She tried to order off the menu and get penne with Bolognese sauce but ended up getting spaghetti with Bolognese so I guess her Jersey Shore accent confused him . Service charge of 12 % plus a 4 Euro cover charge - rip off since per usual , we poured our own wine and were completely ignored except when they slapped down the plates . Oh well , I guess you just build it into the price . We looked for somewhere to stop for Grappa on the way back , but didn 't find a bar so we just headed home . We depart tomorrow and we 're taking the 100 Euro water taxi ( ouch ) from the hotel as it 's less of a pain than dragging our luggage to the public water transit and taking 90 minutes to get there . Goodbye Venice and Italy . We 've had a great time , experienced a lot of different provinces and cultures . We don 't have a favourite place as each place had its own charm with the people , scenery and culture . We may come back one day to visit and we 'll think of this trip as we drink our Brunello wines on our 5th and 10th anniversaries . Arrivederci ! We woke to an overcast day and headed out for some culture . We started at the Sala della Musica - a museum with many violins , cellos , flutes , mandolins , harps , oboes and other unique instruments . Couldn 't take pictures , of course . After the Musicia , we headed to the Galleria dell ' Accademia which has works from the Venetian Renaissance from the middle ages to the 1700s . Many more Madonna with bambino portraits as well Feast at House of Levi which was commissioned to replace a version of the Last Supper by Titian . It looked like the Last Lunch with wine and prosciutto . It was now lunch time so we stopped at a café for a panini and espresso . We encountered the Venetian marathon on our quest for a café . It can 't be easy to be a long distance runner in Venice . Too many bridges and tourists to run over . After lunch , we went to the Peggy Guggenheim Collection . She had an amazing personal collection which is housed in her retirement palazzo . There were pieces from Picasso , Braque , Dali , Boccioni , Pollock , Chagall and others . Quite the palatial residence . There was a " Yoko Ono wish tree " outside where you could write your wish on a piece of paper and hang it in the tree . I went with the classic Miss America line and wished for world peace but seriously , I do . Kelly wouldn 't tell me what he wished for . It might have been to get that Ferrari Testerossa , or world peace . Once we emerged from Peggy 's Palace , it was raining . We headed back towards Rialto and the Coin department store . Tourists in Venice do not know umbrella etiquette - lesson at noon tomorrow , Westin lobby . We Vancouverites weren 't carrying umbrellas but we almost got our eyes poked out a few times . We didn 't find anything enticing in Coin and decided to head back to the hotel . Went into a little store selling various Murano glass things - Kelly bought cuff links and I got a small vase and a pendent . We stopped at a small grocery store and picked up 200 grams of cheese from the deli , some bruschetta crackers as well as a 5 Euro bottle I think tonight 's a good night to try that dessert wine from Banfi - Rosa Regale Brachetto d ' Acqui . We picked up a Pan dei Pescatori Cioccolato ( chocolate cookie with nuts on it - supposedly a Venice specialty ) and a Cremino ( white , milk and dark chocolate ) . We 'll retire with that and perhaps some English TV ( CNN anyone ? ) . Tomorrow , more roaming about . The weather is supposed to be crappy again so not sure how far we 'll venture , but we 'll see . We 're on the last leg of our vacation - off to Venice today . The trains run every hour and since I didn 't bring our train tickets , we had to purchase them when we got to the station . I thought about getting them yesterday when we arrived , but I didn 't want to set the departure schedule should we decide to take our time departing . We ended up getting to the train station around 10am and tried to purchase tickets for the 10 : 30 train . No tickets . Ok machine , how about 11 : 30 ? No . 12 : 30 ? No . Please ? ? NO ! Hmm . Looks like 1 : 30 is available and even though we 're using the English section , it doesn 't translate everything . We wanted to go first class this time for a change , but it didn 't show that option ( well , at least not in English ) . We got in line at the ticket booth to see if there were any first class tickets and there were but not until the 1 : 30 train . So now we have three hours to kill in the train station . Good time for me to do yesterday 's blog and up to now . I might even work on my school assignment , which I haven 't touched since we left Vancouver . Eek . We arrived in Venice and found the Westin Europa & Regina , which is close to San Marco port via the public transit Vaporetto . We dropped off our bags and went to explore . We hit Piazza San Marco which was full of over - priced restaurants that charge a 6 Euro cover just to sit there and have a drink - the cost of the drink is extra , of course . No thanks . Mind you , for the 6 Euros , there is a three piece orchestra playing . Not sure if three pieces counts as an orchestra , but we 'll go with that for lack of a better term . Kelly was now searching for gelato and Rick Steeves recommends a place called La Boutique del Gelato but as the street name wasn 't even on the map , I used my OnStar spidey senses and said definitively , let 's walk towards the Rialto . Well , it turned out to be a good guess and I happened to look up just as we were beside the gelato place . See the nice things I do for my husband ? I keep him happy with gelato . I had green apple , Posted by We had another lovely breakfast of eggs , said arrivederci to Robert and Lucilla then head out to Siena . We were supposed to drop off the rental car at 10am so we had lots of time since we left before 9am . You know where this is going , don 't you … . Well , first we stop for gas in Siena . No , no . No diesel . And that was the Esso station . Off we go to find another gas station . We found one , gassed up and then looked for the wall and the gates so we could find Avis . I won 't give you the play by play on this one but let 's just say that we spent almost as much time driving around Siena as we did to get from Montalcino . When we drove up to the train station , I suggested abandoning the car there and calling Avis to come get the stupid thing . Exiting from the entrance and having an old Italian guy wave his fist at us was a touching goodbye . A couple of wrong turns later , we actually found Avis and breathed a sigh of relief . It was only 10 : 15 so not too late . We grabbed a taxi to the train station and calmed our nerves with two large Moretti . And guess what ? We didn 't yell at or kill each other during our Siena tour . Not even mumbling words of whazza comin a go . Ah , the true test of marriage , getting lost in a foreign city . We had a female taxi driver take us to the train station , and our only female on the trip . It was a van type vehicle with really high ceilings and how she explained to Kelly to close the door " it 's like a gun handle , just like the trigger " . Super … but Kelly figured it out from that description . We took the commuter train from Siena to Florence and then grabbed a taxi to our B & B - the Residenza dei Pucci . It was located right near the Duomo and only a couple of blocks from Galleria dell ' Accademia . We dropped our bags off and headed to the Accademia to see Michelangelo 's David . Only had to stand in line for about 15 minutes so without a reservation , not bad at all . There were no signs saying you couldn 't take pictures and no one mentioned anything so in the first room , I snapped a picture and then was told NO PICTURES . Oops . Mi scusi . The next room , that housed David had a sign saying no pictures although I saw at least three people sneaking a photo . David is impressive - I didn 't realize how tall the statue is . His hands and feet seem disproportionately large . I 'm sure there 's a reason for that . The rest of the gallery had pre - Renaissance and Renaissance paintings and plaster models . We did a hot lap through some of the Renaissance paintings . I can only look at so many Madonna with baby pictures before they start to look the same . Have you noticed that the babies never look like babies ? They look like miniature adults , usually men . Nothing soft or babyish looking . After the Galleria , we headed to the Duomo and Piazza . There was a mandatory stop for gelato - Florence is supposed to have some of e best so we thought we would suffer through yet another serving . I had lemon sorbet and a vanilla with chocolate chips . Kelly had coffee and crème . All good but I have to say , San Crispino 's in Rome still has our vote for the best gelato . We tried to get into the Affizi Gallery but the line was too long so we thought we 'd try again later . Off we went across the Ponte Vecchio bridge and window shopped through the mountains of gold and silver they have in every shop . There must have been 60 jewellery stores along the bridge - and one leather shop . I wonder who let them on the block . Lots of shiny baubles but nothing that caught my eye . We headed back to the Piazza Della Signoria for a late lunch / snack of pizza and wine . The pigeons there are crazy . They 'll dive bomb your head , fly onto your plate ( and fight with another pigeon over crumbs ) and just stare at you so you know who 's boss . There was a concert or band setting up in the piazza so we asked the waiter what was playing . His answer - bad music . Alright then , we 're out . We walked around a bit more , looked at some shoes and jackets but didn 't buy anything . We went back to the Affizi but it was closing in 45 minutes ( Rick 's book said that we had another hour and a half … ) so we decided not to hot lap it . So back to the B & B for a short nap before dinner . There seemed to be more questionable characters in Florence than we saw in Rome and they were making me a bit uncomfortable . On a friend 's suggestion , we went to Cantina Barbagianni for dinner . It was just a few blocks from our place and well worth the visit . We didn 't have a reservation so we sat upstairs - apparently the downstairs is quite large while there are only about 10 tables upstairs . The other couple upstairs , also North American , ordered the steak Florentine and it was massive . 45 euros per kilo - and it looked like they ordered a kilo . Mind you , they polished off most of it and took what was remaining with them . We had a bottle of Rosso Di Montalcino and Kelly started with a cheese platter . That would have been more than enough for both of us but I ordered the beef carpaccio which was yummy . Kelly 's cheese platter had five types of cheese ranging from mild to strong . I can 't recall what they all were , but there were two types of pecorni and a gargonzola . They were all nice and it came with a spoonful of homemade jams - one was with a white wine and the other , a chianti . Very nice indeed ! For dinner , although we were full , Kelly had a bagoli pasta with meat sauce . The pasta is similar to spaghetti but thicker . His was ok but the pasta we had in Montalcino was nicer . I thought I was ordering pasta as well but apparently malfati is not pasta . I 'm not sure what it was but it was made with ricotta and spinach and topped with black truffles . It was a nice dish . We headed back to the room after dinner as it was about 10 : 30 now and we didn 't know where else to go . Tomorrow , Venice . I tell you , I have no idea what day it is anymore . Is it Wed ? Thurs ? Fri ? All I know is this is the last day in Tuscany before we move on again . Our B & B host circled a number of places on the map . The right side of the map , culture ; the left side , wine . But she also told us , " you don 't want to be drinking wine as there is no crime here so the Polizia may pull you over . " Check . So we started out at 10am by going to the abbey at Sant ' Antimo . It dates back to 790 for the original buildings and the other buildings are from the 1100 's . I caught a couple of the kitties trying to get into the church ( they wanted to confess that they killed a mouse just for sport ) but the monk chased them out . He gestured to me that they wanted food . Next time we come to Italy , I 'm bringing cat treats . I must have petted at least 50 cats since we 've been here . The map that Lucilla gave us was a photocopy and doesn 't show any highway numbers , just names of towns . So with OnStar as the navigator ( that 's me ) , off we went to find some of the places on the culture side of the map . Bagno Vignoni was the first on the list and was also the first time we got lost and drove off the map . Whoops . OnStar , recalculate . Back we went and this time , we took the correct turn and found Bagno Vignoni , which is a quaint little town with a hot spring running through the centre of it . We felt the water and yup , confirmed , it was hot . They wouldn 't let Kelly strip down and take a splash in the pool . Party poopers . Next on the map , Pienza . Down the hill , up the hill , around 95 corners ( I feel ill ) , down another hill , up another hill ( more damn corners ) , and another one or two hills and we found Pienza . That was easy . Lots of beautiful buildings here and overpriced trinkets . I ended up buying some spaghetti spices , a wine jug with a nice Tuscan scene and insalate tongs ( salad tongs for you non - Italians ) with ceramic sunflower ends . The sunflowers they grown here look so beautiful . It was chilly in the shade of the buildings so we found the one café that had seating in the sun and sat down for lunch . The menu was completely in Italian so we could only pick out the words we knew . Kelly pointed to the menu that seemed to be paninis and asked if they were the sandwiches . She quickly got a " you dumb tourist " look on her face and crinkled up her nose and shook her head . No sandwiches . Bacon , sausage . Well , there were four things on this part of the menu and she listed two things . We ordered what we thought would be a panini or similar but what we actually ordered was fried cheese with bacon and bread . Okee dokee . It was now 2pm and we 'd had enough culture . Time for wineries ! So we decided to drive back to Montalcino then head south to the wineries . OnStar was on board once I turned the map upside down and got in it . Off we go . We saw lots of signs for wineries but it wasn 't clear if they were open to the public or had tastings . We stopped just outside of Tavernelle at Caprili . When we pulled up , the lady gave us questioning look until I said " wine tasting ? " She went inside and opened the door for us . She poured us a 2004 Brunello Riserva , which was lovely . I saw that the 2005 Brunello won a silver in San Francisco this year and asked for a small tasting of that as well . Nope , they only pour the 2004 . Ok . So we bought a bottle of the 2004 and carried on . We drove further south to Poggio alle Mura to the Banfi estate , most of it on an unpaved road . What a beautiful property Banfi is . There 's a castle there , which now has 14 hotel rooms as well as two restaurants and large tasting / wine room . I tried the 2008 Rosso , the 2005 Brunello di Montalcino and the 2005Brunello di Montalcino Poggio alle Mura . We didn 't get a Cougar Town pour , but it was larger than the stupid machines in Montalcino . All of the wines were nice and we decided to buy the P ) oggio alle Mura . I also saw a Tuscan scene on a tile that was framed . I debated buying it but in the end , I got it . To my pleasant surprise , it was 20 % off when we went to pay for it and the 12 euro wine tasting was free for purchasing a bottle of wine . The owner was a lovely woman from New York . She and her husband bought the property 30 years ago and built everything from scratch , other than the castle . They did a lot of restoration to the castle to outfit it for the hotel rooms ( which was done somewhat recently ) . We had a nice chat with her and when we were leaving , she grabbed a bottle of dessert wine and gave it to us . How sweet ! We put it in our hotel room fridge to drink tonight . It was about 4pm now and even though we 'd only gone to two wineries , we thought we should head back before it got dark . As we 're driving back , we see a couple of pheasant on the side street so Kelly stopped the car so I could get a picture . They took one look at me , screamed HUNTER ! and flew away . No photo op there . Hunting season is in full swing here and you see people in camouflage with rifles when you least expect it . Apparently they 're hunting deer , wild pigs , hare , pheasant , song birds - basically anything that moves ( even tourists ? ? ) . Once we neared Montalcino , there was a very large tractor in front of us for a bit . He was busy beheading the road side markers - Thunk ! Hey , do you know that we haven 't seen a single Ferrari or Lamborghini ? Lots of Minis , Audis , Renault , Lancia , Fiat - Fiats are like Fords here , Peugot and Alfa Romeo . Even the cop cars are Alfa Romeo . We got back to Montalcino , dropped off our stuff then headed out back to the Caffé for a bottle of 2005 Caprili Brunello di Montalcino ( the bottle we couldn 't sample at the winery ) . On the way here , a brown purse jumped out of the shop window and into my arms . What ' a girl to do but rescue it from some it 's fate of sitting in a widow for months ? I 'm such a humanitarian . Good thing we came here with one empty suitcase … The gelato place by our B & B has been closed every time we passed by but this time , open ! We 've been having gelato withdrawal . I had the crème carmel and something very creamy with pastry flakes . Kelly had banana split and vanilla . We found out why our canolli search has been unsuccessful - apparently that 's really only sold in the Naples area . Boo . If we 'd known , we would have had a couple in Sorrento . They 're soooo tasty ! Sitting in the Caffé La Fortezza , they brought us a map of the wineries in the area ( that would have been handy yesterday … ) and info on Montalcino wines . Brunello wines only get better with aging - 10 to 30 years . They age in oak casks for two years , then in bottles for four months ( Riserva six months ) , they 're only available for sale five years after the harvest year ( six for Riserva ) and wines can only be sold in a Bordeaux type bottle . I think we might put our two bottles of Brunello away and drink on our five and ten year anniversaries . We went back to Grapolla Blu for dinner for fresh pasta . We both had Tingi pasta - which is a thick spaghetti type pasta . Mine was with cherry tomato , garlic , basil and olive oil . Kelly 's was meat sauce . They were both excellent , but mine was better . We had that with a bottle of Chianti Riserva and Kelly finished it off with a chocolate soufflé . Do you think that Lindsay Lohan can move over and make room for us in detox ? We need it for wine , gelato , pizza , pasta - we 've OD 'd on it all . We haven 't tried Grappa yet so we may need to add that to the list soon . Robert cooked us a lovely breakfast of cheese omelette and eggs , sunny side up , I started with the omelette and my clean - up crew ate the balance . Very creamy and flavourful cheese . Leslie picked us up from our B & B around 9 : 30 to take us back to her place for the cooking class . We had two other people in our class , Mike and Jane , from San Francisco ( originally from Ohio ) . They were a very nice couple who had eight kids between them - that 's a lot a kids a . We started the cooking class by making the Tiramisu so it could chill . I 've never made Tiramisu , but it was really easy and quick . Next , we made the dough for the ravioli . This is what I was most interested in learning - what the consistency was of proper pasta dough . Check . We did some cutting and chopping for various dishes , and in the end , here 's what we made : Bruschetta , Crostini Toscani ( chicken liver , anchovies , capers ) , Goats Cheese & Onion Savoury Tart , Ravioli stuffed with spinach & ricotta served with fresh sage & butter , Saltimbocca / Involtini ( prosciutto , sage & garlic ) ; Peas and Pancetta and dessert , Tiramisu . We had a fun time cutting , chopping , rolling , kneading , mixing and chatting with Mike , Jane , Leslie and the Italian nameless chef woman . The Italian chef threw out the occasional " perfecto ! " when we did things right and when someone didn 't do it right , she was saying " Leslie ! " She didn 't speak any English so you just waited for her to gesture to stop as pouring olive oil . I got a good head nod on my pasta kneading . Heel of the hand , roll toward yourself and repeat . Then flip and repeat . See ? I got it . Once we prepared all of our food , it was time to eat our creations ( or our demise … . ) . Everything was great . I was a little sceptical about how our egg whites would whip after watching Jane separate the eggs . She did a one - pass of the yolk / white then tossed the yolk with part of the egg white in the dish . Noooooooo ! Anyone that bakes knows that if you 're separating eggs ( and you want your baking to turn out ) , you don 't letAround 3pm , Leslie drove us back to our B & B . We decided to stroll around Montalcino and headed out . We took a number of pictures ( I think we 're at around 700 for the trip already ) and after a bit , got thirsty so we stopped at a wine shop . They had tastings there - over 100 bottles - but it was set up to stick in a card and press the button to get the pour from the bottle selected . Of course , the more expensive the wine , the more expensive the tasting . It was about 1 / 10 of the price of the bottle per tasting so it could get pretty expensive with the Brunello wines . We drank about five tastings then decided to go find a café to sit down and enjoy a whole bottle . We went to Caffé Fortezza and ordered a bottle of 2004 La Fortuna Brunello . They decanted the wine and brought us a plate of bread with cheese and salami , which were yummy . Later , they brought more bread with olive oil and tomato - all gratis , which is rare in Italy . It was only about 7 : 30pm now and we weren 't hungry for dinner , but we didn 't feel like sitting at the B & B either so we went on to find another place to have a bottle of wine and maybe some pizza . Low and behold , we found a pizzeria by our B & B . We had another Brunello wine and a pepperoni & sausage pizza . We 've now upped the daily quote of wine by having 2 + bottles today . Let 's see what tomorrow brings ! Posted by So for some reason , our hotel in Sorrento as well as Rome didn 't have an alarm clock ( or any clock for that matter ) in the room . What is this , Vegas ? So we asked the front desk for a wake - up call for 7am but we were sceptical and didn 't want to miss our 8 : 10 ferry so I left the iPhone charged in over - night and set the alarm . Over charging anything with the adapter scares me as it gets a bit hot , but I risked my third arm ( yes , my phone ) . We both woke up way before the alarm anyway and were downstairs eating our hotel breakfast of yogurt and a roll with cappuccino . Let me rephrase , I was eating , Kelly was still full from dinner . I convinced him to have a yogurt to help with digestion . Another Princess Cruise ship in the port again but they weren 't going to get us today ! We jumped on that ferry to Naples before they could swarm . Flee ! Flee ! Flee ! I was surprised at how many people were commuting to Naples and especially considering Naples has one third unemployment . We found the taxi stand at the port and encountered a heated argument between two cabbies . A lot of yelling and arm waving . I think someone 's fare got taken . We grabbed a cab and headed to the train station . Half way through the ride , when I noticed that people walk right up to the cab window , I locked my door and had Kelly do the same . They were , of course , only waiting to jaywalk but it was disturbing nonetheless . We made it to the train station without incident and bought our tickets . Kelly pointed out a couple of stray dogs having a nap in the station so I had to go give them an ear rub . The female was enjoying it but the male was scared and walked away . Waiting at the train station , we kept hearing this Kinder Bueno commercial with that stupid Tal Bachman song being played over and over and over . I must send a nasty note to either Kinder or Tal when we get home … . Our train to Chiusi took us back to Rome and was a bit sketchy . I guess that 's why people pay the higher train prices . It 's not just for speed . The guy walking through selling watches hidden in his newspaper was interesting but the next dude selling socks was a nice touch . At least they appeared to be new and not taken from some poor , unsuspecting sleeping tourist . The dude sitting next to Kelly in our car was looking at me and making me uncomfortable . Not terribly , but enough so that when he wasn 't looking , I moved my necklace pendant to the back of my neck and kept my rings under my bag . We made it to Chiusi unscathed and as usual , I couldn 't find the WC ( turns out it was on the train platform ) so that meant , beer time . Had an ok spinach and mozzarella panini and a Moretti . Yes , that 's right , Kelly 's eating again . I 've sure noticed a lot of Hello Kitty paraphernalia everywhere we go . I didn 't realize it was so popular here . They have whole stores devoted just to the Kitty . Our train to Siena was a two car commuter train but more comfortable that the others we 've been on . An hour and a half ride then time to find the Avis rental car . I expected to see graffiti on the trees given the previous train trips . We arrived in Siena and headed to the Avis rental outlet via taxi . The old guy running the show didn 't seem to know how to work the mysterious box in front of him so he called a younger guy into the office to work the computer . He arrived about 10 or 15 minutes later , set up our reservation then took off again . We 're now cruising around in a VW Golf with Mario Andretti and his side kick . We followed the map properly to the first arch but instead of taking the left to get to the second arch , we kept going straight . Hmm , Kel , I think we 're going the wrong way . Can you turn around ? Eventually , we get to a traffic circle and I see another sign to S22 so we go that way . We pass a sign , leaving Siena . Then another for entering Siena and shortly followed by leaving Siena . Guess we went the long way ? We made it to the S22 and head towards Montalcino but getting into this town was also an adventure . The directions I had from the caretakers of the B & B were to head into the town and curve left , park in front of the realty office . Well , there 's more than one entrance and we go in and head left . Nope , that wasn 't it . Go back . Then we end up back on the little highway . Turn around . Finally , we get to the right entrance but don 't see a street sign or realty office . We end up parking and walk around to see if we can find it . No luck so we ask a local lady who speaks to us in Italian and is making walking gestures to two big steps . I think she was saying it 's the cross street of I - don 't - knowa and over - therea . So we nod our heads and go up the street . I spot the B & B , Palazzina Cesira , as we 're heading back to move the car since we were in a 15minute parking zone ( and as it turns out , right in front of the cop shop so parking tickets are a given ) . We went back to the car , moved it Lynn We 're happy to report that Sleepless in Sorrento didn 't have a sequel . We slept ok last night . Kelly started the morning watching Tom & Jerry while I showered . Those kids get into the same mischief in Italian . I think I had a quince at breakfast . The server said it was a cactus fruit , but it didn 't have the bumps so I doubt it . Regardless , it was tasty - kind of a hard pear / apple combo . There was a British couple sitting next to us and what an interesting conversation they started out with . Talking about needing some roughage . Super - here , gnaw on a prune . After breakfast , we wandered across the street to buy our ferry tickets to Positano . Yay ! There 's a sailing today , but not until 11am . We hung about the pier and I went to play with the kitties again . There 's one teeny tiny little runt of the liter that 's about a third of the size of his brothers and sisters and only has half his tail . Not to mention he 's skinny as heck and has a bad infection in his right eye . I think he may be blind in that eye L Poor little guy ! I want to take him home and nurse him back to health but mean Kelly won 't let me . Someone left some dry kibble for the cats today , which is good . All the cats could use a good dose of deworming though as they 're really thin . I want to take them all home . At about 10 : 30 we wandered over to our dock only to be told that it was too rough out and there would be no sailing today . Boo ! Well that wasn 't going to deter us . On foot we go back up the big hill to the town centre and from there , we 'll walk to the train / bus station . We head out in the right direction but then we walk off the map . Hmm , well , let 's keep going to the left . When we passed the garbage dump ( Kelly takes me to the nicest places ) , I asked Mr . Mapquest if he knew where we were . Ah , no . I see . So when were you planning on telling that ? You 're going to lose your Mapquest status , mister … . So Kelly asks a nice local where we are in relation to the train station . He points down the hill and says to turn left . Excellent . Off we go down the hill . When we get to the corner , no sign of the train / bus station or any signs . Mapquest asks another dude and he says we 're a block away . More excellent . And he was right . We got our bus tickets and now wait for the 12 : 15 bus . Time to find the washroom as those cappuccinos we had at breakfast are making me cross my legs . One problem , without a train ticket , you can 't use the washroom as it 's on that side of the tracks . Never thought that 's what it meant to be on the wrong side of the tracks . So to compound the problem , I suggest we had a beer while we wait . I never said I was smart . Kelly played some Italian slot machine at the station , but didn 't win . We got on the packed bus to Positano and it 's amazing that the bus drivers can get through the narrow , windy streets . At one point , the bus coming toward us and our bus both were in a dead stop inching past each other - and they did it without hitting each other or any cars / scooters parked on the side of the windy cliff . I 've noticed a lot more damage on the vehicles and scooters here than in Rome and the Romans drive a lot crazier . Mind you if you 're on a scooter here , the middle of the road is yours and you pass everybody . The near misses are common and don 't seem to faze the driver of the scooter or the vehicle . We arrived in Positano to a beautiful , sunny day and headed down the hill to the beach - about a 15 minute walk . We picked a restaurant on the water , Ristorante La Pergola , and I left Kelly to order so those cappuccinos and beer could make a departure . You ha d to grab a swipe card from the hostess to use the washroom . So you 'd think that the washrooms would be in good shape . They were clean , but without toilet seats . What the ? Happy perching . I won 't bother telling you what we had for lunch as we didn 't switch it up today . After lunch Kelly went and stuck his feet in the Mediterranean . From the OH MY GOD look on his face , I 'd say it was chilly . It started to cloud over as soon as we sat down for lunch and more clouds were rolling in . We walked into a few stores and I petted some more cats , but then decided to grab the next bus back as it looked like rain and we didn 't bring jackets . We had another downpour last night but luckily , we were back in the room by then . It reminds me of the monsoon rains in the Caribbean . We headed back up the hill and stopped to share a cannoli . Oh my , that was yummy ! We grabbed our bus tickets and the next bus was coming at 3 : 10 . It 's 3 : 00 now and we 're at least 300 yards downhill - haul ass baby ! We got to the bus stop with 5 minutes to spare and I think I worked off my bites of the cannoli . We made it back to Sorrento and grabbed a bottle of Valpolicella and some bread sticks and headed back to the room . A little precursor to dinner . We read about Il Buco , which is a restaurant in the basement of an old monastery . We didn 't have reservations so we could only sit outside in the courtyard . Still a nice , sort of private setting . They poured us each a glass of champagne and brought a mozzarella and ham taster . Very nice . The menu was either a set menu of 9 , 6 or 3 courses or you could order off the menu . Kelly went for the 6 courses with an improvisation on the seafood choices . Are you ready for what he had ? And just so you know , it wasn 't a tasting portion of the courses - they were full size dishes . First course : buffalo mozzarella rolled in tomato bread crumbs and fried , fresh buffalo mozzarella with tomato , cheese mousse and cheese yogurt . Second course : Beef carpaccio and beef tartar with three different sauces . Third course : gnocchi with lamb ragu and sausage . Fourth course : Linguine with artichoke and lemon zest . Fifth course : Chicken rolled around vegetables . Sixth course : Dessert - which was sort of like a bread pudding with vanilla ice cream and chocolate . Holy crap , that was a lot of food and all of it , delicious . I got a taste of most of it . I had a starter of calamari , which was so fresh and just drizzled with olive oil and placed on bread and tomatoes - apparently the way the old Romans ate it . Then I had seafood pasta which was lovely . We were serenaded by a guy with a lovely voice . He did three songs and I 'll let you guess what the last song was … yup , Whennnnn the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie , that 's amore . You know that every English speaking person just loves that song . Right . We shared a bottle of Masi Amarone and other than the spillage I got on the table ( whilst reaching for one of the 6 kinds of dinner rolls ) , we drank every last drop . Oh and before Kelly 's dessert arrived , they brought a taster of ricotta and chocolate mousse . Very nice . They brought us each a glass of chilled Limoncello and a plate with hazelnut brittle , chocolate cookie , chocolate cream puff and shortbread - just because we haLynn We both had a crappy sleep last night - definitely not a Westin heavenly bed . More like an Il Faro lumpy special . Heard someone wheeling their luggage down the hall around 4am , street cleaners at 6am and could have swore I heard a plane . While we were sleeping , three cruise ships snuck into port . We woke to find gaggles of touri milling about everywhere . Ahhhhh ! My parent 's people were invading Capri today so we thought we 'd go to Positano . Unfortunately , there were no sailings to Positano as the waves were quite big today . So we figured we 'd tough it out and go to Capri with 10 , 000 of our closest cruising pals . Kelly even dressed the part in his Tilley pants and top . He wouldn 't go for the floppy hat though . Spoil sport . We grab some tickets to Capri and the impatient teller keeps yelling Prego ! Prego ! Geez , do I look chunky in these pants ? Oh , it means you 're welcome . It must have another meaning too because she was using it to hurry along the people in front of us so we could buy tickets . Lots of stray cats milling about the ferry terminal . Looks like someone fed them some fish , though . I had to get in a few pets with a couple of kittens . Very tame and cute . It 's no dog lovin ' , but it was the best I could do under the circumstances . Ferry ride to Capri was a bit rough , but no projectile vomiting on board so all was well . Got off the boat and had a beer . It was almost noon I 'll have you know . Do you know that we went a day without an espresso or a gelato yesterday ? I know . Crazy talk . Well we remedied the gelato fiasco today but have to say , it wasn 't as good as San Crispino 's . We took the funicolare ( tram ) up the hill for 1 , 40 euros - in comparison , our train ticket from Naples to Sorrento was 3 , 40 on the graffiti express . Took some beautiful pictures of the view and my favourite - down alleys , paths , up stairs and the odd beautiful door . Our travels took us off the beaten path , however , and it wasn 't until I suggested to Gulliver Burbidge that he ask the local guy going into his house to find out where we were . Turns out we 'd walked to the opposite side of the island from the ferry terminal . Well we had a nice walk and got some great pictures . So back up the hill we went and took the tram back down . The only thing I bought was a soap dish from a local artist . He had some nice pieces in there that were unique - unlike every other tourist trap we walked past . Every high end designer you could think of had a shop there too . Not that we went in those stores . They would have pooh pooh 'd us . Came back to Sorrento late afternoon and browsed through the shops by our hotel . Big rip off . Probably to get the people going back to the cruise ships who don 't have time to go up to the Piazza . One of the restaurants around the corner advertised beach seating … they had two tables for two plunked in the sand . Hope the tide doesn 't come in . The corner store sold sandwiches and one of the more interesting one was a Panini with chicken strips and fries in it . Really ? Who would eat that . Per usual , we were parched so we went up to the Piazza for a beer and a snack . Ended up having a prosciutto and funghi pizza to share . Big surprise , more pizza . This restaurant didn 't have a service charge , which the one last night and another restaurant we checked out did . Not sure what the service charge is for . It 's not like you actually get much service . Other than the first pour of wine , you 're on your own . And no one comes back to make sure you 're enjoying your meal . Eat up , people . Sitting at a table two down from us were some cruisers from England . It was like Coronation Street in front of us - the woman was drinking her wine and smoking with the same hand just like Deidre . Her friend was wearing a tiara . Fitting . After our pizza , we went to walk around and shop again . I found a nice red purse , basil , oregano , limoncello and 8 year old balsamic vinegar . Kelly got a sweet deal on silk ties - 5 for 15 Euro . Nice patterns too . We weren 't hungry for dinner , but there 's always room for gelato . Kelly somehow spotted a place from the opposite side of the store . Someone has x - ray vision , Super - gelato - man . Place called Davide and it was good . I had a dark chocolate ( and it was dark ) and something that was a Sicilian something or other that I couldn 't distinguish . Kelly had caramel and black cherry ripple . Both really good . We grabbed a couple of large Peroni 's and headed back to the room . Kelly 's watching Columbo in Italian . Guess you don 't need English dialog to figure out the plot . Tomorrow , hopefully the boats are running to Positano . Ciao . We set out this morning to find another power adapter for my trusty little Samsung notebook - it 's one of those three prong thingies and my other adapter is only for 2 prongs . Technical , I know . So we head down the Bermuda triangle again but no luck on the adapter or the tie for that matter . And yes , we 've now officially given up and Kelly has learned a very valuable shopping lesson that only women know . Buy it when you see it . Let me repeat , if you like it , buy it when you see it . I think he knows now . We check out of the Westin Excelsior and head toward the Metro to get to the train station . Kelly actually found an adapter for my computer - in the same store at you could buy pistols , knives , swords and bongs . Bongs ? Yes , bongs . Nothing like a good hit of crack before you hop on a plane ? Uneventful train ride to Naples . Once we got into Naples , we had to go a few blocks to the Circumvesuviana , which is the local train . Kind of like their above ground Metro I think . Originally , we were thinking about going to Naples for a day trip but neither of us saw anything worth coming back for . Maybe that 's not fair as we 're just judging the grungy walk around the train station , but I think we 'll stay in Sorrento , Capri and Positano for our three days here . The only real reason we wanted to go to Naples was to try what 's supposed to be amazing pizza at Pizeria da Michele . I think we 'll survive without it ( well , hopefully Kelly will . ) The train to Sorrento stopped at about 25 stations before we got here , which is the end of the line . Lots of graffiti and tagging all around the station and everyone hangs their wash off the balcony . Mind you , I didn 't see any unmentionables waving in the wind , just mentionables . Maybe we 'll take the water taxi back to Naples and grab a cab to the train station . Less graffiti in the water . We 're staying at the Hotel Il Faro in Sorrento , which is on the water and mere steps from the ferry to Capri and Naples . I thought the elevator at the Wesitn in Rome was tiny - this one barely fit our two suitcases and us . Our room is also pretty small but that 's ok , we don 't plan on staying in the room much . Nice water view from our hotel . They brought us our free bottle of wine . Not exactly the best swill I 've had but c ' est la vie . We headed out to check out the stores in the town centre - up about 100 stairs . The calves say thank you . I bought three scarves for 5 euro and necklace for 12 . Learned my lesson from the Rome Bermuda triangle . We were in another store when it started to pour . And I mean pour . Buckets of rain coming down and all the smart locals were hiding . Us , on the other hand , we headed out to look for a restaurant recommended by Trip Advisors . Kelly Mapquest Burbidge said that it was just up hill ( in the pouring rain ) a few blocks . Up we go . Nadda . We stop and ask for directions - go back from once we came and ½ a block to the right . We find the restaurant only to have them tell us that 6 : 15 is too early . Go away . Can we stay and have a drink ? No . Sigh . Ok , so we go find a restaurant that 's open . Kelly 's ravioli and chicken wasn 't bad but my pork was very tough Perhaps previously frozen like last night 's veal . Oh well . Interesting that no restaurant server has poured us more than our first glass of wine or asked us about how our dinner was . I ate about 1 / 3 of my pork but that must be the norm . We thought we 'd head out to a bar and have some grappa but couldn 't find one nearby and I was freezing as my jacket was still soaked as were my jeans . So we stopped at a store and grabbed two large Peroni to drink back at the hotel . I sat in the washroom with my beer perched on the bidet blow drying my jeans . The hair dryer is something else - it looks like a vacuum hose . Now I 'm downstairs in the lobby to post as the WiFi in the room isn 't working ( apparently due to the wPosted by We covered a lot of ground yesterday and we 're both feeling it a bit today . Mostly in the calves - we climbed a lot of stairs - and for me , my hip flexors . Oh well , power on baby ! ( p . s . we 're old ) So thanks to me being an idiot and leaving our train tickets at home , we start the day at the train station to see what we can do about reprinting the tickets . Well actually , let me back that up . I asked our concierge last night , while showing him my Rail Europe receipt , if he thought we could go to the train station to get new tickets printed . Oh sure , he says . Ya huh . Well , the answer was no . Nobody at the train station cared to talk to us . In the interim , I 'd emailed Rail Europe to see if they could send me an email code to print off the tickets . They 're based in New York so later in the day , they respond and tell me , no , you need your paper tickets to do anything . Sorry . Wait , so we have our name on the reservation for two specific seats on various trains but you can 't cancel them and reissue new tickets or send us the e - ticket ? Nope . Sorry . But here 's a copy of the reservation - try at the station but don 't hold your breath . Well good thing I wasn 't holding it in because they too didn 't give us any better news . You need your ticket to make a change so guess what ? You get to buy new tickets . We even threw in " but we 're on our honeymoon ! " Yeah , that 's nice . Move it along blondie . Well that blonde move cost $ 400 . Boo ! Anyway , nothing we can do about it now so after the train station , we head to the Colosseum . We stop for lunch - two espressos and two mystery sandwiches . I picked one with nice looking tomatoes and buffalo mozzarella . Imagine my surprise when they brought it out and said " hamburger ? Oh , I guess that 's mine . Mmmm tasty microwaved meat patty . And now we 're off to the Colosseum . Amazing to be walking down a busy street and see this structure . Surreal . This time we get in after about a 40 minute line up . Hmm , no mention on any of the wall posters about the lions or gladiators . Do you think they want to forget that part ? Well bully on you because I 'm pretty sure I found a lion 's tooth , or maybe It was a petrified piece of gum - well no matter , I 'm saying it wasNow off to the Vatican on the Metro . The accordion player on the Metro with his kid ( not a monkey ) collecting coin was a unique touch . I 've always thought that there wasn 't quite enough busking on the Canada Line … . And there were some street vendors selling some LV purses outside . Yes , whenever I think about where to buy an LV purse , the Vatican comes to mind . We follow the crowds and take a bunch of pictures outside , go through security but when we get to the next checkpoint , denied ! I 'm wearing shorts - go away you hussy . Now this one I blame on Rick Steeves because his book said if you were wearing short shorts you wouldn 't get in . These were not short shorts ! There were women there with shorter skirts . But with a flick of the hand , we were shunned . So , bone - ass move # 2 for me today . Sorry Kelly . Back on the train we go . Noticed that there is no " mind the gap " signs or " scusi de gap " . Guess they don 't care if you drop stuff in the gaps here . To make things better , on the way back we stop at San Crispino 's for more gelato ( visit to Trevi # 4 ) . This time I had a whiskey and pear gelato . Both excellent . Kelly had honey and banana , On the way back to the hotel , we stop for pizza and beer . Surprise , I know . Not bad pizza . Then we try to find the elusive store that had the nice ties and pashminas . It 's like the freaking Bermuda triangle . We 've retraced our steps about five times and can 't find this store ! The parking in Rome is interesting . Sidewalk ? No matter , I 'll park here . You 're parked in the parking stall ? That 's ok , I 'll park behind you and block two of you in . Amazing that you don 't hear any whatza commin a go expletives from people getting boxed in . Didn 't see any car accidents or pedestrian mishaps either . Amazing since everyone drives like a lunatic and pedestrian walk everywhere . For dinner , we go to my parent 's favourite , Don Chisciotte , and I have the scaloppini with funghi and Kelly had the rigatoni with lamb . After diner , Kelly mentions gelato … . Ok , so off to San Crispino 's again we go ( visit to Trevi # 5 ) . We still can 't find the Bermuda triangle store but we certainly know where San Crispino 's is now . I get a different whiskey and a mandarin orange sorbet , Kelly got apple sorbet and creama . We stand in front of the fountain eating our gelato and telling the locals no , we don 't want our picture taken . I said NO , we don 't want our picture taken . Toss a coin in the fountain for luck then head out . Half way home , Kelly asks if we should go for a beer . Well who am I to say no ? We end up back at the Spanish Steps and drinking a Pernoi sitting with about 100 other people . Nice way to end the night . And now we 're back at the room , setting the alarm for tomorrow so we don 't miss the train we 've paid for twice … Oh and before I sign off , I have to rant about my hair . Yesterday , I plug in my straight iron in the convertor and even though the iron is off , the iron is on and gets really , really hot . When I put it on my hair , it sizzles ! Oh , this can 't be good . After a couple of swipes , I stop . I think I fried my hair . Oh crap . This morning , after I shower , I blow dry my hair then try the flat iron in the bedroom . It seems to be going ok - until the smoke alarm goes off ! It must have been omitting some steam . Kelly had to call the front desk to get the stupid thing to stop . My hair feels like straw . Part of it is the soft water and that the shampoo and conditioner don 't seem to rinse out . The other part is obvious , I think I baked my hair . Oh my … . Deep conditioning ( or a haircut ( ) when I get home . Went to bed last night around 11pm local time and woke up at 4am . That was a bit early to be awake so eventually , we fell back asleep again - only to wake up at 11am . Whoops ! We thought it was about 7am . Guess not . Checked my work BlackBerry and no service … only SOS . Hmm , and no WiFi or Internet in the hotel without paying 30Euro per day . Thinking not . So once we got our wheels in gear , we headed to the Colosseum . Even though it 's not the busy season , there are gaggles of tourist ( or touri as I fondly call them ) everywhere . Lots of groups are wearing distinctive markers like scarves or identical t - shirts ( aww , how cute - puke ) . My favourite by far was the group in the orange traffic vests . Once they 're done their tour , they can step out and direct traffic or empty some garbage bins . How very fashionable ! Speaking of fashion , everyone sure is dressed well here . No teenage boys with their pants hanging around their butt crack with their Calvin 's showing . Not that it isn 't fashionable , , , , Trevi Fountain On the way to the Colosseum , we stopped at the Trevi Fountain . It was raining a bit , but still , lots of people . After that , we stopped for a pizza lunch . I had funghi pizza and Kelly had two pieces , one sausage and one pepperoni . He determined that my pizza was better than his . We stopped at the Monumento a Vittorio Emanuele II and took about 100 pictures of big horses and other things . We passed by the Forum , which I didn 't know was still in ruins . Then off to Rogers Arena , I mean , the Colosseum we go . Little did we know that there was a strike ( not sure why , maybe because it was Thursday ) so they closed at 2pm . Guess what time we arrived ? Yup , about 2 : 05 . So we walked around it and will go back tomorrow to see the inside ( well , unless there 's a Friday strike ) . So off we went on a walk around Rome . A few minutes in , Kelly pronounces " uh , I think I lost the map " . Hmm . Ok , we 're winging it . So we head out , we end up stopping for an espresso then a beer ( it was 5 o ' clock somewhere ) . Kelly pulls out the Rick Steeves book and declares , hmm , I think we 're in the Ghetto . Sure enough , we 're in the Jewish Ghetto . Oh well . Other than the homeless guy aggressively licking the plastic container that held a sandwich , it was pretty tame . By this time , we 'd seen , oh , about 20 monuments . As Kelly put it , it 's like Bob Villa 's This Old Monument . Lots of construction going on . We 've also figured out the cross walks . They 're mere suggestions for the drivers so you edge out … hey , you gonna stop ? It 's a bit like the hokey pokey - you put your right foot in , pull your right foot out , put your right foot in and if it doesn 't get run over , shake it all about all the way across the street . A bit like a Frogger game now darting and weaving . Power on , baby . Sans map , we forge on . Kelly says he knows where we 're going . I 'm sceptical , but off we go . We see a map at a bus stop and head towards Circus Maximus . Turns out , that 's just a vacant field now . Cordoned out , but nothing to see . Next . We go to Largo Argentina , which professes to have free WiFi . Excellent , since I 've dragged my laptop around all day . Liars . No free WiFi . But we took pictures of the ruins and for some reason , there are lots of kitty cats hanging out in the ruins . Tons of them . Now off to the Pantheon . Lots of dead people in there . Man , I 'm naïve , I didn 't know it was a mausoleum . More construction going on outside , but beautiful inside . And lots of rent a Pope outfit stores around . You don 't see many of those in Vancouver . After the Pantheon , we decide to do Rick Steeves ; walking tour to head to the Spanish Steps . Every time we passed someone with a map , I suggested to Kelly , psssst , steal their map ! But he wouldn 't . Ah come on , you 'll fit right in with the Rome crowd . But nooooo , he won 't grab it . Until we pass a sidewalk café that has maps as their place mat . We pulled a stealth ( well , not so stealth ) move and grabbed a map . So we head toward the Trevi Fountain again so we could go to San Crispino gelato ( famous from Eat Love Pray ) . We finally figure out where we are in the map ( I believe we stepped into the map a la Joey Tribianni ) and went to find " the little narrow side street near Trevi - Via della Panettieria " . Hmm . , let 's head to the right . Now a left and presto ! Blonde Girl finds the street a la gelato . Mind you , we walked right past San Crispino and when we hit Burger King ( yes , really ) , we headed back . It was worth the trip . We both had two flavours - Kelly had caramel and rum / cocoa . I had a tangy lemon sorbet and a honey gelato . Yummmm ! They were all excellent . Definitely worth finding . ( note : this is trip # 2 to Trevi Fountain ) . Next stop , Spanish Steps . On our way , we recognize a street we passed this morning that had a nice Italian silk tie for 10 Euros ( footnote , I told Kelly to buy it but he didn 't ) . So let 's go down a few blocks and see if we find it . Nope . But visit to Trevi Fountain # 3 . We 're regulars now . Let 's whip out that map . Oh , a short cut to the Spanish Steps … . Super … I have 100 % confidence in this move . But eventually , we do make it there . Some dude tried to hand me three red roses saying they were " for luck " . I kept declining but he insisted . So finally , I took them . Of course , the dude kept following us around and finally asked for money . So , of course , I gave him his roses back . It 's not like I wanted to carry them around all night . Up the stairs we go . Once we get to the top , a little parched and low and behold , there 's a street vendor . Two Moretti , please . Walking down the street and drinking beer , I love Rome ! On our way back , we stop for dinner at La Botte Osteria Pizzeria . Very good - we had tomato & basil bruschetta then Kelly had lasagna classica alla bolognese ; and I had fettuccine al ragu ( minced meat & tomato sauce ) . The house wine wasn 't anything to write home about , but ok . There was a LOUD female tour group from Mississippi in the house . The chick behind us declared ; " The Olive Garden is the only Italian restaurant we have back home " . Oh my . The table to the right of us was LOUD LOUD LOUD and when the group left , there was a lot of laughter by the staff and the French family beside us . Hi , we 're Canadian , we 're not with them … During dinner , it occurs to me that I left our train tickets at home . Oh man , I left our train tickets at home . Ahhhhh ! Well at least I have the confirmation number so off to the train station tomorrow to see if they can reprint the tickets as we have them booked for each leg of our travel . Stupid blonde girl . Sigh … Now back to the room to finish off the bottle of Chianti and watching the first thing in English Kelly found on TV - some Nick Cage movie . Tomorrow , ( side trip to the train ) then Colosseum again and finally , to the Vatican . We 're going to walk to the Colosseum ( about 45 mins ) then try the Metro to the Vatican . Wish us luck ! If you 're looking to annoy me , talk to me about " girl " beers . You know , the ones that are fruity and sweet . GIRL beers . Duh . However , i . . .
|
We took the water taxi to the airport and weighed our luggage . We were allowed 23 kg each and we both registered at about 20 kg . I feel like I failed . I should have shopped more ! We grabbed lunch before the flight . I passed the salad and it occurred to me that I should probably have one for lunch . Nah , why start now ? You don 't make friends with insalate … so pizza and Peroni it is . Thank god for my clean - up crew because if I ate more than half of each meal , I 'd be more than doughy by now ! I wonder who 's gained more weight - me and Kelly or the dogs . Grandpa likes to share - first his toast in the morning , then there 's the orange break , lunch and dinner . And don 't forget that Dad 's dog will whack the cupboard anytime she 'd like a biscuit . Can 't wait to pick up Murphy & Dakota tonight . I 've had doggie withdrawal and haven 't seen many cats since Sorrento . Absolutely no cats in Venice , but there were quite a few little dogs . We 're now sitting in Heathrow waiting for our nine hour flight home . Kelly finally saw his Ferrari - here in the Heathrow airport . The conclusion to our honeymoon is here . We 've had a great time in Italy and enjoyed each place we visited . Rome for the amazing ruins - something that 's 50 years old in Vancouver is considered old so to see the Colosseum standing and in pretty decent shape , just amazing . We walked through a lot of Rome , took the subway and enjoyed the people watching . Sorrento was a complete change . Such a beautiful area - Positano , Capri and Sorrento . Very different culture here - laid back , no crazy ( well , less crazy ) drivers and wonderful food . We had some of our best meals in the area . Not to mention the authentic version of the cannoli ( which I will now have to learn to make to keep Kelly happy ) . It took almost a day to get to Montalcino in the Tuscany region . Beautiful , just beautiful . The rolling hills , variations in the field colours - browns , greens , reds - and the Cyprus trees are stunning . We saw a couple of Tuscan towns as well as Some of our final observations about Italy : - I was surprised that not knowing Italian wasn 't an issue in most places . I really must commend the people in the restaurants and shops for learning English , I know it 's not an easy language . Although , you don 't want to throw in any slang as they look at you like you 've just shot a lemon out of your nose ( and the lemons are large in Sorrento ) . - I found the streets crowded and the locals pushy - it was like being in Montreal . No " mi scusi " , just push your way through . I gave up saying " I 'm sorry " after being bumped into 100 times and instead , put out my pointy elbows . That will give you a mi scusi . - Don 't bring your North American flat iron to Italy - it isn 't happy being converted to a different voltage , and it will rebel by scorching your hair . - Scooters actually have different traffic rules than vehicles . They 're allowed to drive in between the cars , ignore traffic signals and cut off anyone they like . It 's surprising you don 't see more flattened scooters on the road . - Everyone told us not to bother with bottled wine , just order the house wine . Well , we didn 't have a good bottle of house wine anywhere so we started to order bottles after a few misses . Nothing expensive , other than our dinner at Il Buco . - There 's no free WiFi in Italy . We never found any public WiFi and the only time we had free Internet was at the hotel in Sorrento and the B & B in Montalcino . Although in both places , you could only use it in the main room downstairs since the walls are a foot thick . - We didn 't see any obvious prostitution , drug dealing or even a tattoo shop . Very un - Vancouverish . The only real crime we saw were the dudes pushing the fake LV bags in Rome and Venice . And lastly , travel with someone you love , like I did . It makes even the most mundane things fun and an adventure . Until our next trip , ciao . We set out in the drizzle , which quickly turned to light rain . We thought we 'd head toward the area on the coast where the parks were but as there was quite a bit of flooding by the canal , we headed in land a bit to look for streets that are less crowded . We succeeded but eventually , the crowds found us again . After walking in the rain for a few hours , we decided to head back to the hotel to dry out our feet . Towards San Marco we go - only to find the entire piazza flooded by about 1 . 5 feet of water . The platforms were up to get people through the piazza , but they were narrow and the one we started on took us to the museum ( where we didn 't want to go ) . There was a pack of 10 year olds screaming and pushing in front of us . I 'm telling you , bambino , if I go for a swim , I 'm taking you and three of your pals with me . No ? Just try me . Si si . Kelly and I headed back out of the piazza to try to walk around San Marco rather than take an hour to walk through it on the platforms ( since none of the platforms went straight across the piazza ) . I put on my OnStar Venice application in my head and led Kelly to his favourite gelato , only to find them closed . So we were forced to try another place , which was good . And yes , we 've had way too much gelato , pizza , pasta and wine while we were in Italy . WAY too much . I hope my pants still fit me when we get home and I don 't find that my jeans have just been expanding with the gelato pounds . We walked by a number of restaurants and it doesn 't look like any Italians run the restaurants , at least in the tourist areas . The gondola business is slow on a rainy , windy day . The gondola dudes weren 't even bothering with their usual " gondale , gondala ? " Is that like Valerie , Valera , Valerie , Valer - a - ha - ha - ha - ha - ha ? They dudes by our hotel were just sitting there , eating a panini and having a birra . Are there drinking and paddling laws here ? We came back to the room and polished off the cheese and crackers from yesterday . Kelly changed channels , looking for something in EnglIt was still raining but we decided to venture out for dinner . I had to blow dry my Teva 's as they were still wet from today 's walkabout . We went to Tavernetta San Maurizio for dinner and had pasta ( for the 100th time ) . I had a rigatoni with olive oil , tomatoes and basil - Kelly , lasagne . It was ok . I must say , what they say about food in Venice is true - at least from our experience . It 's expensive and not very good . There was no hair in the food tonight ( darn , I forgot to pluck a hair from some unsuspecting passer - by ) so we had to pay for the entire meal . Half way through our meal , an American family showed up and Snooki from Jersey Shore was the daughter . Not really , but she was a good knock off . She didn 't shut up the entire time about herself and we never heard her parents utter a word except for mom , she threw in an F bomb at one point . Snooki ordered in Italian ( with a NY accent ) and then quickly switched to English when the waiter spoke back to her . She tried to order off the menu and get penne with Bolognese sauce but ended up getting spaghetti with Bolognese so I guess her Jersey Shore accent confused him . Service charge of 12 % plus a 4 Euro cover charge - rip off since per usual , we poured our own wine and were completely ignored except when they slapped down the plates . Oh well , I guess you just build it into the price . We looked for somewhere to stop for Grappa on the way back , but didn 't find a bar so we just headed home . We depart tomorrow and we 're taking the 100 Euro water taxi ( ouch ) from the hotel as it 's less of a pain than dragging our luggage to the public water transit and taking 90 minutes to get there . Goodbye Venice and Italy . We 've had a great time , experienced a lot of different provinces and cultures . We don 't have a favourite place as each place had its own charm with the people , scenery and culture . We may come back one day to visit and we 'll think of this trip as we drink our Brunello wines on our 5th and 10th anniversaries . Arrivederci ! We woke to an overcast day and headed out for some culture . We started at the Sala della Musica - a museum with many violins , cellos , flutes , mandolins , harps , oboes and other unique instruments . Couldn 't take pictures , of course . After the Musicia , we headed to the Galleria dell ' Accademia which has works from the Venetian Renaissance from the middle ages to the 1700s . Many more Madonna with bambino portraits as well Feast at House of Levi which was commissioned to replace a version of the Last Supper by Titian . It looked like the Last Lunch with wine and prosciutto . It was now lunch time so we stopped at a café for a panini and espresso . We encountered the Venetian marathon on our quest for a café . It can 't be easy to be a long distance runner in Venice . Too many bridges and tourists to run over . After lunch , we went to the Peggy Guggenheim Collection . She had an amazing personal collection which is housed in her retirement palazzo . There were pieces from Picasso , Braque , Dali , Boccioni , Pollock , Chagall and others . Quite the palatial residence . There was a " Yoko Ono wish tree " outside where you could write your wish on a piece of paper and hang it in the tree . I went with the classic Miss America line and wished for world peace but seriously , I do . Kelly wouldn 't tell me what he wished for . It might have been to get that Ferrari Testerossa , or world peace . Once we emerged from Peggy 's Palace , it was raining . We headed back towards Rialto and the Coin department store . Tourists in Venice do not know umbrella etiquette - lesson at noon tomorrow , Westin lobby . We Vancouverites weren 't carrying umbrellas but we almost got our eyes poked out a few times . We didn 't find anything enticing in Coin and decided to head back to the hotel . Went into a little store selling various Murano glass things - Kelly bought cuff links and I got a small vase and a pendent . We stopped at a small grocery store and picked up 200 grams of cheese from the deli , some bruschetta crackers as well as a 5 Euro bottle I think tonight 's a good night to try that dessert wine from Banfi - Rosa Regale Brachetto d ' Acqui . We picked up a Pan dei Pescatori Cioccolato ( chocolate cookie with nuts on it - supposedly a Venice specialty ) and a Cremino ( white , milk and dark chocolate ) . We 'll retire with that and perhaps some English TV ( CNN anyone ? ) . Tomorrow , more roaming about . The weather is supposed to be crappy again so not sure how far we 'll venture , but we 'll see . We 're on the last leg of our vacation - off to Venice today . The trains run every hour and since I didn 't bring our train tickets , we had to purchase them when we got to the station . I thought about getting them yesterday when we arrived , but I didn 't want to set the departure schedule should we decide to take our time departing . We ended up getting to the train station around 10am and tried to purchase tickets for the 10 : 30 train . No tickets . Ok machine , how about 11 : 30 ? No . 12 : 30 ? No . Please ? ? NO ! Hmm . Looks like 1 : 30 is available and even though we 're using the English section , it doesn 't translate everything . We wanted to go first class this time for a change , but it didn 't show that option ( well , at least not in English ) . We got in line at the ticket booth to see if there were any first class tickets and there were but not until the 1 : 30 train . So now we have three hours to kill in the train station . Good time for me to do yesterday 's blog and up to now . I might even work on my school assignment , which I haven 't touched since we left Vancouver . Eek . We arrived in Venice and found the Westin Europa & Regina , which is close to San Marco port via the public transit Vaporetto . We dropped off our bags and went to explore . We hit Piazza San Marco which was full of over - priced restaurants that charge a 6 Euro cover just to sit there and have a drink - the cost of the drink is extra , of course . No thanks . Mind you , for the 6 Euros , there is a three piece orchestra playing . Not sure if three pieces counts as an orchestra , but we 'll go with that for lack of a better term . Kelly was now searching for gelato and Rick Steeves recommends a place called La Boutique del Gelato but as the street name wasn 't even on the map , I used my OnStar spidey senses and said definitively , let 's walk towards the Rialto . Well , it turned out to be a good guess and I happened to look up just as we were beside the gelato place . See the nice things I do for my husband ? I keep him happy with gelato . I had green apple , Posted by We had another lovely breakfast of eggs , said arrivederci to Robert and Lucilla then head out to Siena . We were supposed to drop off the rental car at 10am so we had lots of time since we left before 9am . You know where this is going , don 't you … . Well , first we stop for gas in Siena . No , no . No diesel . And that was the Esso station . Off we go to find another gas station . We found one , gassed up and then looked for the wall and the gates so we could find Avis . I won 't give you the play by play on this one but let 's just say that we spent almost as much time driving around Siena as we did to get from Montalcino . When we drove up to the train station , I suggested abandoning the car there and calling Avis to come get the stupid thing . Exiting from the entrance and having an old Italian guy wave his fist at us was a touching goodbye . A couple of wrong turns later , we actually found Avis and breathed a sigh of relief . It was only 10 : 15 so not too late . We grabbed a taxi to the train station and calmed our nerves with two large Moretti . And guess what ? We didn 't yell at or kill each other during our Siena tour . Not even mumbling words of whazza comin a go . Ah , the true test of marriage , getting lost in a foreign city . We had a female taxi driver take us to the train station , and our only female on the trip . It was a van type vehicle with really high ceilings and how she explained to Kelly to close the door " it 's like a gun handle , just like the trigger " . Super … but Kelly figured it out from that description . We took the commuter train from Siena to Florence and then grabbed a taxi to our B & B - the Residenza dei Pucci . It was located right near the Duomo and only a couple of blocks from Galleria dell ' Accademia . We dropped our bags off and headed to the Accademia to see Michelangelo 's David . Only had to stand in line for about 15 minutes so without a reservation , not bad at all . There were no signs saying you couldn 't take pictures and no one mentioned anything so in the first room , I snapped a picture and then was told NO PICTURES . Oops . Mi scusi . The next room , that housed David had a sign saying no pictures although I saw at least three people sneaking a photo . David is impressive - I didn 't realize how tall the statue is . His hands and feet seem disproportionately large . I 'm sure there 's a reason for that . The rest of the gallery had pre - Renaissance and Renaissance paintings and plaster models . We did a hot lap through some of the Renaissance paintings . I can only look at so many Madonna with baby pictures before they start to look the same . Have you noticed that the babies never look like babies ? They look like miniature adults , usually men . Nothing soft or babyish looking . After the Galleria , we headed to the Duomo and Piazza . There was a mandatory stop for gelato - Florence is supposed to have some of e best so we thought we would suffer through yet another serving . I had lemon sorbet and a vanilla with chocolate chips . Kelly had coffee and crème . All good but I have to say , San Crispino 's in Rome still has our vote for the best gelato . We tried to get into the Affizi Gallery but the line was too long so we thought we 'd try again later . Off we went across the Ponte Vecchio bridge and window shopped through the mountains of gold and silver they have in every shop . There must have been 60 jewellery stores along the bridge - and one leather shop . I wonder who let them on the block . Lots of shiny baubles but nothing that caught my eye . We headed back to the Piazza Della Signoria for a late lunch / snack of pizza and wine . The pigeons there are crazy . They 'll dive bomb your head , fly onto your plate ( and fight with another pigeon over crumbs ) and just stare at you so you know who 's boss . There was a concert or band setting up in the piazza so we asked the waiter what was playing . His answer - bad music . Alright then , we 're out . We walked around a bit more , looked at some shoes and jackets but didn 't buy anything . We went back to the Affizi but it was closing in 45 minutes ( Rick 's book said that we had another hour and a half … ) so we decided not to hot lap it . So back to the B & B for a short nap before dinner . There seemed to be more questionable characters in Florence than we saw in Rome and they were making me a bit uncomfortable . On a friend 's suggestion , we went to Cantina Barbagianni for dinner . It was just a few blocks from our place and well worth the visit . We didn 't have a reservation so we sat upstairs - apparently the downstairs is quite large while there are only about 10 tables upstairs . The other couple upstairs , also North American , ordered the steak Florentine and it was massive . 45 euros per kilo - and it looked like they ordered a kilo . Mind you , they polished off most of it and took what was remaining with them . We had a bottle of Rosso Di Montalcino and Kelly started with a cheese platter . That would have been more than enough for both of us but I ordered the beef carpaccio which was yummy . Kelly 's cheese platter had five types of cheese ranging from mild to strong . I can 't recall what they all were , but there were two types of pecorni and a gargonzola . They were all nice and it came with a spoonful of homemade jams - one was with a white wine and the other , a chianti . Very nice indeed ! For dinner , although we were full , Kelly had a bagoli pasta with meat sauce . The pasta is similar to spaghetti but thicker . His was ok but the pasta we had in Montalcino was nicer . I thought I was ordering pasta as well but apparently malfati is not pasta . I 'm not sure what it was but it was made with ricotta and spinach and topped with black truffles . It was a nice dish . We headed back to the room after dinner as it was about 10 : 30 now and we didn 't know where else to go . Tomorrow , Venice . I tell you , I have no idea what day it is anymore . Is it Wed ? Thurs ? Fri ? All I know is this is the last day in Tuscany before we move on again . Our B & B host circled a number of places on the map . The right side of the map , culture ; the left side , wine . But she also told us , " you don 't want to be drinking wine as there is no crime here so the Polizia may pull you over . " Check . So we started out at 10am by going to the abbey at Sant ' Antimo . It dates back to 790 for the original buildings and the other buildings are from the 1100 's . I caught a couple of the kitties trying to get into the church ( they wanted to confess that they killed a mouse just for sport ) but the monk chased them out . He gestured to me that they wanted food . Next time we come to Italy , I 'm bringing cat treats . I must have petted at least 50 cats since we 've been here . The map that Lucilla gave us was a photocopy and doesn 't show any highway numbers , just names of towns . So with OnStar as the navigator ( that 's me ) , off we went to find some of the places on the culture side of the map . Bagno Vignoni was the first on the list and was also the first time we got lost and drove off the map . Whoops . OnStar , recalculate . Back we went and this time , we took the correct turn and found Bagno Vignoni , which is a quaint little town with a hot spring running through the centre of it . We felt the water and yup , confirmed , it was hot . They wouldn 't let Kelly strip down and take a splash in the pool . Party poopers . Next on the map , Pienza . Down the hill , up the hill , around 95 corners ( I feel ill ) , down another hill , up another hill ( more damn corners ) , and another one or two hills and we found Pienza . That was easy . Lots of beautiful buildings here and overpriced trinkets . I ended up buying some spaghetti spices , a wine jug with a nice Tuscan scene and insalate tongs ( salad tongs for you non - Italians ) with ceramic sunflower ends . The sunflowers they grown here look so beautiful . It was chilly in the shade of the buildings so we found the one café that had seating in the sun and sat down for lunch . The menu was completely in Italian so we could only pick out the words we knew . Kelly pointed to the menu that seemed to be paninis and asked if they were the sandwiches . She quickly got a " you dumb tourist " look on her face and crinkled up her nose and shook her head . No sandwiches . Bacon , sausage . Well , there were four things on this part of the menu and she listed two things . We ordered what we thought would be a panini or similar but what we actually ordered was fried cheese with bacon and bread . Okee dokee . It was now 2pm and we 'd had enough culture . Time for wineries ! So we decided to drive back to Montalcino then head south to the wineries . OnStar was on board once I turned the map upside down and got in it . Off we go . We saw lots of signs for wineries but it wasn 't clear if they were open to the public or had tastings . We stopped just outside of Tavernelle at Caprili . When we pulled up , the lady gave us questioning look until I said " wine tasting ? " She went inside and opened the door for us . She poured us a 2004 Brunello Riserva , which was lovely . I saw that the 2005 Brunello won a silver in San Francisco this year and asked for a small tasting of that as well . Nope , they only pour the 2004 . Ok . So we bought a bottle of the 2004 and carried on . We drove further south to Poggio alle Mura to the Banfi estate , most of it on an unpaved road . What a beautiful property Banfi is . There 's a castle there , which now has 14 hotel rooms as well as two restaurants and large tasting / wine room . I tried the 2008 Rosso , the 2005 Brunello di Montalcino and the 2005Brunello di Montalcino Poggio alle Mura . We didn 't get a Cougar Town pour , but it was larger than the stupid machines in Montalcino . All of the wines were nice and we decided to buy the P ) oggio alle Mura . I also saw a Tuscan scene on a tile that was framed . I debated buying it but in the end , I got it . To my pleasant surprise , it was 20 % off when we went to pay for it and the 12 euro wine tasting was free for purchasing a bottle of wine . The owner was a lovely woman from New York . She and her husband bought the property 30 years ago and built everything from scratch , other than the castle . They did a lot of restoration to the castle to outfit it for the hotel rooms ( which was done somewhat recently ) . We had a nice chat with her and when we were leaving , she grabbed a bottle of dessert wine and gave it to us . How sweet ! We put it in our hotel room fridge to drink tonight . It was about 4pm now and even though we 'd only gone to two wineries , we thought we should head back before it got dark . As we 're driving back , we see a couple of pheasant on the side street so Kelly stopped the car so I could get a picture . They took one look at me , screamed HUNTER ! and flew away . No photo op there . Hunting season is in full swing here and you see people in camouflage with rifles when you least expect it . Apparently they 're hunting deer , wild pigs , hare , pheasant , song birds - basically anything that moves ( even tourists ? ? ) . Once we neared Montalcino , there was a very large tractor in front of us for a bit . He was busy beheading the road side markers - Thunk ! Hey , do you know that we haven 't seen a single Ferrari or Lamborghini ? Lots of Minis , Audis , Renault , Lancia , Fiat - Fiats are like Fords here , Peugot and Alfa Romeo . Even the cop cars are Alfa Romeo . We got back to Montalcino , dropped off our stuff then headed out back to the Caffé for a bottle of 2005 Caprili Brunello di Montalcino ( the bottle we couldn 't sample at the winery ) . On the way here , a brown purse jumped out of the shop window and into my arms . What ' a girl to do but rescue it from some it 's fate of sitting in a widow for months ? I 'm such a humanitarian . Good thing we came here with one empty suitcase … The gelato place by our B & B has been closed every time we passed by but this time , open ! We 've been having gelato withdrawal . I had the crème carmel and something very creamy with pastry flakes . Kelly had banana split and vanilla . We found out why our canolli search has been unsuccessful - apparently that 's really only sold in the Naples area . Boo . If we 'd known , we would have had a couple in Sorrento . They 're soooo tasty ! Sitting in the Caffé La Fortezza , they brought us a map of the wineries in the area ( that would have been handy yesterday … ) and info on Montalcino wines . Brunello wines only get better with aging - 10 to 30 years . They age in oak casks for two years , then in bottles for four months ( Riserva six months ) , they 're only available for sale five years after the harvest year ( six for Riserva ) and wines can only be sold in a Bordeaux type bottle . I think we might put our two bottles of Brunello away and drink on our five and ten year anniversaries . We went back to Grapolla Blu for dinner for fresh pasta . We both had Tingi pasta - which is a thick spaghetti type pasta . Mine was with cherry tomato , garlic , basil and olive oil . Kelly 's was meat sauce . They were both excellent , but mine was better . We had that with a bottle of Chianti Riserva and Kelly finished it off with a chocolate soufflé . Do you think that Lindsay Lohan can move over and make room for us in detox ? We need it for wine , gelato , pizza , pasta - we 've OD 'd on it all . We haven 't tried Grappa yet so we may need to add that to the list soon . Robert cooked us a lovely breakfast of cheese omelette and eggs , sunny side up , I started with the omelette and my clean - up crew ate the balance . Very creamy and flavourful cheese . Leslie picked us up from our B & B around 9 : 30 to take us back to her place for the cooking class . We had two other people in our class , Mike and Jane , from San Francisco ( originally from Ohio ) . They were a very nice couple who had eight kids between them - that 's a lot a kids a . We started the cooking class by making the Tiramisu so it could chill . I 've never made Tiramisu , but it was really easy and quick . Next , we made the dough for the ravioli . This is what I was most interested in learning - what the consistency was of proper pasta dough . Check . We did some cutting and chopping for various dishes , and in the end , here 's what we made : Bruschetta , Crostini Toscani ( chicken liver , anchovies , capers ) , Goats Cheese & Onion Savoury Tart , Ravioli stuffed with spinach & ricotta served with fresh sage & butter , Saltimbocca / Involtini ( prosciutto , sage & garlic ) ; Peas and Pancetta and dessert , Tiramisu . We had a fun time cutting , chopping , rolling , kneading , mixing and chatting with Mike , Jane , Leslie and the Italian nameless chef woman . The Italian chef threw out the occasional " perfecto ! " when we did things right and when someone didn 't do it right , she was saying " Leslie ! " She didn 't speak any English so you just waited for her to gesture to stop as pouring olive oil . I got a good head nod on my pasta kneading . Heel of the hand , roll toward yourself and repeat . Then flip and repeat . See ? I got it . Once we prepared all of our food , it was time to eat our creations ( or our demise … . ) . Everything was great . I was a little sceptical about how our egg whites would whip after watching Jane separate the eggs . She did a one - pass of the yolk / white then tossed the yolk with part of the egg white in the dish . Noooooooo ! Anyone that bakes knows that if you 're separating eggs ( and you want your baking to turn out ) , you don 't letAround 3pm , Leslie drove us back to our B & B . We decided to stroll around Montalcino and headed out . We took a number of pictures ( I think we 're at around 700 for the trip already ) and after a bit , got thirsty so we stopped at a wine shop . They had tastings there - over 100 bottles - but it was set up to stick in a card and press the button to get the pour from the bottle selected . Of course , the more expensive the wine , the more expensive the tasting . It was about 1 / 10 of the price of the bottle per tasting so it could get pretty expensive with the Brunello wines . We drank about five tastings then decided to go find a café to sit down and enjoy a whole bottle . We went to Caffé Fortezza and ordered a bottle of 2004 La Fortuna Brunello . They decanted the wine and brought us a plate of bread with cheese and salami , which were yummy . Later , they brought more bread with olive oil and tomato - all gratis , which is rare in Italy . It was only about 7 : 30pm now and we weren 't hungry for dinner , but we didn 't feel like sitting at the B & B either so we went on to find another place to have a bottle of wine and maybe some pizza . Low and behold , we found a pizzeria by our B & B . We had another Brunello wine and a pepperoni & sausage pizza . We 've now upped the daily quote of wine by having 2 + bottles today . Let 's see what tomorrow brings ! Posted by So for some reason , our hotel in Sorrento as well as Rome didn 't have an alarm clock ( or any clock for that matter ) in the room . What is this , Vegas ? So we asked the front desk for a wake - up call for 7am but we were sceptical and didn 't want to miss our 8 : 10 ferry so I left the iPhone charged in over - night and set the alarm . Over charging anything with the adapter scares me as it gets a bit hot , but I risked my third arm ( yes , my phone ) . We both woke up way before the alarm anyway and were downstairs eating our hotel breakfast of yogurt and a roll with cappuccino . Let me rephrase , I was eating , Kelly was still full from dinner . I convinced him to have a yogurt to help with digestion . Another Princess Cruise ship in the port again but they weren 't going to get us today ! We jumped on that ferry to Naples before they could swarm . Flee ! Flee ! Flee ! I was surprised at how many people were commuting to Naples and especially considering Naples has one third unemployment . We found the taxi stand at the port and encountered a heated argument between two cabbies . A lot of yelling and arm waving . I think someone 's fare got taken . We grabbed a cab and headed to the train station . Half way through the ride , when I noticed that people walk right up to the cab window , I locked my door and had Kelly do the same . They were , of course , only waiting to jaywalk but it was disturbing nonetheless . We made it to the train station without incident and bought our tickets . Kelly pointed out a couple of stray dogs having a nap in the station so I had to go give them an ear rub . The female was enjoying it but the male was scared and walked away . Waiting at the train station , we kept hearing this Kinder Bueno commercial with that stupid Tal Bachman song being played over and over and over . I must send a nasty note to either Kinder or Tal when we get home … . Our train to Chiusi took us back to Rome and was a bit sketchy . I guess that 's why people pay the higher train prices . It 's not just for speed . The guy walking through selling watches hidden in his newspaper was interesting but the next dude selling socks was a nice touch . At least they appeared to be new and not taken from some poor , unsuspecting sleeping tourist . The dude sitting next to Kelly in our car was looking at me and making me uncomfortable . Not terribly , but enough so that when he wasn 't looking , I moved my necklace pendant to the back of my neck and kept my rings under my bag . We made it to Chiusi unscathed and as usual , I couldn 't find the WC ( turns out it was on the train platform ) so that meant , beer time . Had an ok spinach and mozzarella panini and a Moretti . Yes , that 's right , Kelly 's eating again . I 've sure noticed a lot of Hello Kitty paraphernalia everywhere we go . I didn 't realize it was so popular here . They have whole stores devoted just to the Kitty . Our train to Siena was a two car commuter train but more comfortable that the others we 've been on . An hour and a half ride then time to find the Avis rental car . I expected to see graffiti on the trees given the previous train trips . We arrived in Siena and headed to the Avis rental outlet via taxi . The old guy running the show didn 't seem to know how to work the mysterious box in front of him so he called a younger guy into the office to work the computer . He arrived about 10 or 15 minutes later , set up our reservation then took off again . We 're now cruising around in a VW Golf with Mario Andretti and his side kick . We followed the map properly to the first arch but instead of taking the left to get to the second arch , we kept going straight . Hmm , Kel , I think we 're going the wrong way . Can you turn around ? Eventually , we get to a traffic circle and I see another sign to S22 so we go that way . We pass a sign , leaving Siena . Then another for entering Siena and shortly followed by leaving Siena . Guess we went the long way ? We made it to the S22 and head towards Montalcino but getting into this town was also an adventure . The directions I had from the caretakers of the B & B were to head into the town and curve left , park in front of the realty office . Well , there 's more than one entrance and we go in and head left . Nope , that wasn 't it . Go back . Then we end up back on the little highway . Turn around . Finally , we get to the right entrance but don 't see a street sign or realty office . We end up parking and walk around to see if we can find it . No luck so we ask a local lady who speaks to us in Italian and is making walking gestures to two big steps . I think she was saying it 's the cross street of I - don 't - knowa and over - therea . So we nod our heads and go up the street . I spot the B & B , Palazzina Cesira , as we 're heading back to move the car since we were in a 15minute parking zone ( and as it turns out , right in front of the cop shop so parking tickets are a given ) . We went back to the car , moved it Lynn We 're happy to report that Sleepless in Sorrento didn 't have a sequel . We slept ok last night . Kelly started the morning watching Tom & Jerry while I showered . Those kids get into the same mischief in Italian . I think I had a quince at breakfast . The server said it was a cactus fruit , but it didn 't have the bumps so I doubt it . Regardless , it was tasty - kind of a hard pear / apple combo . There was a British couple sitting next to us and what an interesting conversation they started out with . Talking about needing some roughage . Super - here , gnaw on a prune . After breakfast , we wandered across the street to buy our ferry tickets to Positano . Yay ! There 's a sailing today , but not until 11am . We hung about the pier and I went to play with the kitties again . There 's one teeny tiny little runt of the liter that 's about a third of the size of his brothers and sisters and only has half his tail . Not to mention he 's skinny as heck and has a bad infection in his right eye . I think he may be blind in that eye L Poor little guy ! I want to take him home and nurse him back to health but mean Kelly won 't let me . Someone left some dry kibble for the cats today , which is good . All the cats could use a good dose of deworming though as they 're really thin . I want to take them all home . At about 10 : 30 we wandered over to our dock only to be told that it was too rough out and there would be no sailing today . Boo ! Well that wasn 't going to deter us . On foot we go back up the big hill to the town centre and from there , we 'll walk to the train / bus station . We head out in the right direction but then we walk off the map . Hmm , well , let 's keep going to the left . When we passed the garbage dump ( Kelly takes me to the nicest places ) , I asked Mr . Mapquest if he knew where we were . Ah , no . I see . So when were you planning on telling that ? You 're going to lose your Mapquest status , mister … . So Kelly asks a nice local where we are in relation to the train station . He points down the hill and says to turn left . Excellent . Off we go down the hill . When we get to the corner , no sign of the train / bus station or any signs . Mapquest asks another dude and he says we 're a block away . More excellent . And he was right . We got our bus tickets and now wait for the 12 : 15 bus . Time to find the washroom as those cappuccinos we had at breakfast are making me cross my legs . One problem , without a train ticket , you can 't use the washroom as it 's on that side of the tracks . Never thought that 's what it meant to be on the wrong side of the tracks . So to compound the problem , I suggest we had a beer while we wait . I never said I was smart . Kelly played some Italian slot machine at the station , but didn 't win . We got on the packed bus to Positano and it 's amazing that the bus drivers can get through the narrow , windy streets . At one point , the bus coming toward us and our bus both were in a dead stop inching past each other - and they did it without hitting each other or any cars / scooters parked on the side of the windy cliff . I 've noticed a lot more damage on the vehicles and scooters here than in Rome and the Romans drive a lot crazier . Mind you if you 're on a scooter here , the middle of the road is yours and you pass everybody . The near misses are common and don 't seem to faze the driver of the scooter or the vehicle . We arrived in Positano to a beautiful , sunny day and headed down the hill to the beach - about a 15 minute walk . We picked a restaurant on the water , Ristorante La Pergola , and I left Kelly to order so those cappuccinos and beer could make a departure . You ha d to grab a swipe card from the hostess to use the washroom . So you 'd think that the washrooms would be in good shape . They were clean , but without toilet seats . What the ? Happy perching . I won 't bother telling you what we had for lunch as we didn 't switch it up today . After lunch Kelly went and stuck his feet in the Mediterranean . From the OH MY GOD look on his face , I 'd say it was chilly . It started to cloud over as soon as we sat down for lunch and more clouds were rolling in . We walked into a few stores and I petted some more cats , but then decided to grab the next bus back as it looked like rain and we didn 't bring jackets . We had another downpour last night but luckily , we were back in the room by then . It reminds me of the monsoon rains in the Caribbean . We headed back up the hill and stopped to share a cannoli . Oh my , that was yummy ! We grabbed our bus tickets and the next bus was coming at 3 : 10 . It 's 3 : 00 now and we 're at least 300 yards downhill - haul ass baby ! We got to the bus stop with 5 minutes to spare and I think I worked off my bites of the cannoli . We made it back to Sorrento and grabbed a bottle of Valpolicella and some bread sticks and headed back to the room . A little precursor to dinner . We read about Il Buco , which is a restaurant in the basement of an old monastery . We didn 't have reservations so we could only sit outside in the courtyard . Still a nice , sort of private setting . They poured us each a glass of champagne and brought a mozzarella and ham taster . Very nice . The menu was either a set menu of 9 , 6 or 3 courses or you could order off the menu . Kelly went for the 6 courses with an improvisation on the seafood choices . Are you ready for what he had ? And just so you know , it wasn 't a tasting portion of the courses - they were full size dishes . First course : buffalo mozzarella rolled in tomato bread crumbs and fried , fresh buffalo mozzarella with tomato , cheese mousse and cheese yogurt . Second course : Beef carpaccio and beef tartar with three different sauces . Third course : gnocchi with lamb ragu and sausage . Fourth course : Linguine with artichoke and lemon zest . Fifth course : Chicken rolled around vegetables . Sixth course : Dessert - which was sort of like a bread pudding with vanilla ice cream and chocolate . Holy crap , that was a lot of food and all of it , delicious . I got a taste of most of it . I had a starter of calamari , which was so fresh and just drizzled with olive oil and placed on bread and tomatoes - apparently the way the old Romans ate it . Then I had seafood pasta which was lovely . We were serenaded by a guy with a lovely voice . He did three songs and I 'll let you guess what the last song was … yup , Whennnnn the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie , that 's amore . You know that every English speaking person just loves that song . Right . We shared a bottle of Masi Amarone and other than the spillage I got on the table ( whilst reaching for one of the 6 kinds of dinner rolls ) , we drank every last drop . Oh and before Kelly 's dessert arrived , they brought a taster of ricotta and chocolate mousse . Very nice . They brought us each a glass of chilled Limoncello and a plate with hazelnut brittle , chocolate cookie , chocolate cream puff and shortbread - just because we haLynn We both had a crappy sleep last night - definitely not a Westin heavenly bed . More like an Il Faro lumpy special . Heard someone wheeling their luggage down the hall around 4am , street cleaners at 6am and could have swore I heard a plane . While we were sleeping , three cruise ships snuck into port . We woke to find gaggles of touri milling about everywhere . Ahhhhh ! My parent 's people were invading Capri today so we thought we 'd go to Positano . Unfortunately , there were no sailings to Positano as the waves were quite big today . So we figured we 'd tough it out and go to Capri with 10 , 000 of our closest cruising pals . Kelly even dressed the part in his Tilley pants and top . He wouldn 't go for the floppy hat though . Spoil sport . We grab some tickets to Capri and the impatient teller keeps yelling Prego ! Prego ! Geez , do I look chunky in these pants ? Oh , it means you 're welcome . It must have another meaning too because she was using it to hurry along the people in front of us so we could buy tickets . Lots of stray cats milling about the ferry terminal . Looks like someone fed them some fish , though . I had to get in a few pets with a couple of kittens . Very tame and cute . It 's no dog lovin ' , but it was the best I could do under the circumstances . Ferry ride to Capri was a bit rough , but no projectile vomiting on board so all was well . Got off the boat and had a beer . It was almost noon I 'll have you know . Do you know that we went a day without an espresso or a gelato yesterday ? I know . Crazy talk . Well we remedied the gelato fiasco today but have to say , it wasn 't as good as San Crispino 's . We took the funicolare ( tram ) up the hill for 1 , 40 euros - in comparison , our train ticket from Naples to Sorrento was 3 , 40 on the graffiti express . Took some beautiful pictures of the view and my favourite - down alleys , paths , up stairs and the odd beautiful door . Our travels took us off the beaten path , however , and it wasn 't until I suggested to Gulliver Burbidge that he ask the local guy going into his house to find out where we were . Turns out we 'd walked to the opposite side of the island from the ferry terminal . Well we had a nice walk and got some great pictures . So back up the hill we went and took the tram back down . The only thing I bought was a soap dish from a local artist . He had some nice pieces in there that were unique - unlike every other tourist trap we walked past . Every high end designer you could think of had a shop there too . Not that we went in those stores . They would have pooh pooh 'd us . Came back to Sorrento late afternoon and browsed through the shops by our hotel . Big rip off . Probably to get the people going back to the cruise ships who don 't have time to go up to the Piazza . One of the restaurants around the corner advertised beach seating … they had two tables for two plunked in the sand . Hope the tide doesn 't come in . The corner store sold sandwiches and one of the more interesting one was a Panini with chicken strips and fries in it . Really ? Who would eat that . Per usual , we were parched so we went up to the Piazza for a beer and a snack . Ended up having a prosciutto and funghi pizza to share . Big surprise , more pizza . This restaurant didn 't have a service charge , which the one last night and another restaurant we checked out did . Not sure what the service charge is for . It 's not like you actually get much service . Other than the first pour of wine , you 're on your own . And no one comes back to make sure you 're enjoying your meal . Eat up , people . Sitting at a table two down from us were some cruisers from England . It was like Coronation Street in front of us - the woman was drinking her wine and smoking with the same hand just like Deidre . Her friend was wearing a tiara . Fitting . After our pizza , we went to walk around and shop again . I found a nice red purse , basil , oregano , limoncello and 8 year old balsamic vinegar . Kelly got a sweet deal on silk ties - 5 for 15 Euro . Nice patterns too . We weren 't hungry for dinner , but there 's always room for gelato . Kelly somehow spotted a place from the opposite side of the store . Someone has x - ray vision , Super - gelato - man . Place called Davide and it was good . I had a dark chocolate ( and it was dark ) and something that was a Sicilian something or other that I couldn 't distinguish . Kelly had caramel and black cherry ripple . Both really good . We grabbed a couple of large Peroni 's and headed back to the room . Kelly 's watching Columbo in Italian . Guess you don 't need English dialog to figure out the plot . Tomorrow , hopefully the boats are running to Positano . Ciao . We set out this morning to find another power adapter for my trusty little Samsung notebook - it 's one of those three prong thingies and my other adapter is only for 2 prongs . Technical , I know . So we head down the Bermuda triangle again but no luck on the adapter or the tie for that matter . And yes , we 've now officially given up and Kelly has learned a very valuable shopping lesson that only women know . Buy it when you see it . Let me repeat , if you like it , buy it when you see it . I think he knows now . We check out of the Westin Excelsior and head toward the Metro to get to the train station . Kelly actually found an adapter for my computer - in the same store at you could buy pistols , knives , swords and bongs . Bongs ? Yes , bongs . Nothing like a good hit of crack before you hop on a plane ? Uneventful train ride to Naples . Once we got into Naples , we had to go a few blocks to the Circumvesuviana , which is the local train . Kind of like their above ground Metro I think . Originally , we were thinking about going to Naples for a day trip but neither of us saw anything worth coming back for . Maybe that 's not fair as we 're just judging the grungy walk around the train station , but I think we 'll stay in Sorrento , Capri and Positano for our three days here . The only real reason we wanted to go to Naples was to try what 's supposed to be amazing pizza at Pizeria da Michele . I think we 'll survive without it ( well , hopefully Kelly will . ) The train to Sorrento stopped at about 25 stations before we got here , which is the end of the line . Lots of graffiti and tagging all around the station and everyone hangs their wash off the balcony . Mind you , I didn 't see any unmentionables waving in the wind , just mentionables . Maybe we 'll take the water taxi back to Naples and grab a cab to the train station . Less graffiti in the water . We 're staying at the Hotel Il Faro in Sorrento , which is on the water and mere steps from the ferry to Capri and Naples . I thought the elevator at the Wesitn in Rome was tiny - this one barely fit our two suitcases and us . Our room is also pretty small but that 's ok , we don 't plan on staying in the room much . Nice water view from our hotel . They brought us our free bottle of wine . Not exactly the best swill I 've had but c ' est la vie . We headed out to check out the stores in the town centre - up about 100 stairs . The calves say thank you . I bought three scarves for 5 euro and necklace for 12 . Learned my lesson from the Rome Bermuda triangle . We were in another store when it started to pour . And I mean pour . Buckets of rain coming down and all the smart locals were hiding . Us , on the other hand , we headed out to look for a restaurant recommended by Trip Advisors . Kelly Mapquest Burbidge said that it was just up hill ( in the pouring rain ) a few blocks . Up we go . Nadda . We stop and ask for directions - go back from once we came and ½ a block to the right . We find the restaurant only to have them tell us that 6 : 15 is too early . Go away . Can we stay and have a drink ? No . Sigh . Ok , so we go find a restaurant that 's open . Kelly 's ravioli and chicken wasn 't bad but my pork was very tough Perhaps previously frozen like last night 's veal . Oh well . Interesting that no restaurant server has poured us more than our first glass of wine or asked us about how our dinner was . I ate about 1 / 3 of my pork but that must be the norm . We thought we 'd head out to a bar and have some grappa but couldn 't find one nearby and I was freezing as my jacket was still soaked as were my jeans . So we stopped at a store and grabbed two large Peroni to drink back at the hotel . I sat in the washroom with my beer perched on the bidet blow drying my jeans . The hair dryer is something else - it looks like a vacuum hose . Now I 'm downstairs in the lobby to post as the WiFi in the room isn 't working ( apparently due to the wPosted by We covered a lot of ground yesterday and we 're both feeling it a bit today . Mostly in the calves - we climbed a lot of stairs - and for me , my hip flexors . Oh well , power on baby ! ( p . s . we 're old ) So thanks to me being an idiot and leaving our train tickets at home , we start the day at the train station to see what we can do about reprinting the tickets . Well actually , let me back that up . I asked our concierge last night , while showing him my Rail Europe receipt , if he thought we could go to the train station to get new tickets printed . Oh sure , he says . Ya huh . Well , the answer was no . Nobody at the train station cared to talk to us . In the interim , I 'd emailed Rail Europe to see if they could send me an email code to print off the tickets . They 're based in New York so later in the day , they respond and tell me , no , you need your paper tickets to do anything . Sorry . Wait , so we have our name on the reservation for two specific seats on various trains but you can 't cancel them and reissue new tickets or send us the e - ticket ? Nope . Sorry . But here 's a copy of the reservation - try at the station but don 't hold your breath . Well good thing I wasn 't holding it in because they too didn 't give us any better news . You need your ticket to make a change so guess what ? You get to buy new tickets . We even threw in " but we 're on our honeymoon ! " Yeah , that 's nice . Move it along blondie . Well that blonde move cost $ 400 . Boo ! Anyway , nothing we can do about it now so after the train station , we head to the Colosseum . We stop for lunch - two espressos and two mystery sandwiches . I picked one with nice looking tomatoes and buffalo mozzarella . Imagine my surprise when they brought it out and said " hamburger ? Oh , I guess that 's mine . Mmmm tasty microwaved meat patty . And now we 're off to the Colosseum . Amazing to be walking down a busy street and see this structure . Surreal . This time we get in after about a 40 minute line up . Hmm , no mention on any of the wall posters about the lions or gladiators . Do you think they want to forget that part ? Well bully on you because I 'm pretty sure I found a lion 's tooth , or maybe It was a petrified piece of gum - well no matter , I 'm saying it wasNow off to the Vatican on the Metro . The accordion player on the Metro with his kid ( not a monkey ) collecting coin was a unique touch . I 've always thought that there wasn 't quite enough busking on the Canada Line … . And there were some street vendors selling some LV purses outside . Yes , whenever I think about where to buy an LV purse , the Vatican comes to mind . We follow the crowds and take a bunch of pictures outside , go through security but when we get to the next checkpoint , denied ! I 'm wearing shorts - go away you hussy . Now this one I blame on Rick Steeves because his book said if you were wearing short shorts you wouldn 't get in . These were not short shorts ! There were women there with shorter skirts . But with a flick of the hand , we were shunned . So , bone - ass move # 2 for me today . Sorry Kelly . Back on the train we go . Noticed that there is no " mind the gap " signs or " scusi de gap " . Guess they don 't care if you drop stuff in the gaps here . To make things better , on the way back we stop at San Crispino 's for more gelato ( visit to Trevi # 4 ) . This time I had a whiskey and pear gelato . Both excellent . Kelly had honey and banana , On the way back to the hotel , we stop for pizza and beer . Surprise , I know . Not bad pizza . Then we try to find the elusive store that had the nice ties and pashminas . It 's like the freaking Bermuda triangle . We 've retraced our steps about five times and can 't find this store ! The parking in Rome is interesting . Sidewalk ? No matter , I 'll park here . You 're parked in the parking stall ? That 's ok , I 'll park behind you and block two of you in . Amazing that you don 't hear any whatza commin a go expletives from people getting boxed in . Didn 't see any car accidents or pedestrian mishaps either . Amazing since everyone drives like a lunatic and pedestrian walk everywhere . For dinner , we go to my parent 's favourite , Don Chisciotte , and I have the scaloppini with funghi and Kelly had the rigatoni with lamb . After diner , Kelly mentions gelato … . Ok , so off to San Crispino 's again we go ( visit to Trevi # 5 ) . We still can 't find the Bermuda triangle store but we certainly know where San Crispino 's is now . I get a different whiskey and a mandarin orange sorbet , Kelly got apple sorbet and creama . We stand in front of the fountain eating our gelato and telling the locals no , we don 't want our picture taken . I said NO , we don 't want our picture taken . Toss a coin in the fountain for luck then head out . Half way home , Kelly asks if we should go for a beer . Well who am I to say no ? We end up back at the Spanish Steps and drinking a Pernoi sitting with about 100 other people . Nice way to end the night . And now we 're back at the room , setting the alarm for tomorrow so we don 't miss the train we 've paid for twice … Oh and before I sign off , I have to rant about my hair . Yesterday , I plug in my straight iron in the convertor and even though the iron is off , the iron is on and gets really , really hot . When I put it on my hair , it sizzles ! Oh , this can 't be good . After a couple of swipes , I stop . I think I fried my hair . Oh crap . This morning , after I shower , I blow dry my hair then try the flat iron in the bedroom . It seems to be going ok - until the smoke alarm goes off ! It must have been omitting some steam . Kelly had to call the front desk to get the stupid thing to stop . My hair feels like straw . Part of it is the soft water and that the shampoo and conditioner don 't seem to rinse out . The other part is obvious , I think I baked my hair . Oh my … . Deep conditioning ( or a haircut ( ) when I get home . Went to bed last night around 11pm local time and woke up at 4am . That was a bit early to be awake so eventually , we fell back asleep again - only to wake up at 11am . Whoops ! We thought it was about 7am . Guess not . Checked my work BlackBerry and no service … only SOS . Hmm , and no WiFi or Internet in the hotel without paying 30Euro per day . Thinking not . So once we got our wheels in gear , we headed to the Colosseum . Even though it 's not the busy season , there are gaggles of tourist ( or touri as I fondly call them ) everywhere . Lots of groups are wearing distinctive markers like scarves or identical t - shirts ( aww , how cute - puke ) . My favourite by far was the group in the orange traffic vests . Once they 're done their tour , they can step out and direct traffic or empty some garbage bins . How very fashionable ! Speaking of fashion , everyone sure is dressed well here . No teenage boys with their pants hanging around their butt crack with their Calvin 's showing . Not that it isn 't fashionable , , , , Trevi Fountain On the way to the Colosseum , we stopped at the Trevi Fountain . It was raining a bit , but still , lots of people . After that , we stopped for a pizza lunch . I had funghi pizza and Kelly had two pieces , one sausage and one pepperoni . He determined that my pizza was better than his . We stopped at the Monumento a Vittorio Emanuele II and took about 100 pictures of big horses and other things . We passed by the Forum , which I didn 't know was still in ruins . Then off to Rogers Arena , I mean , the Colosseum we go . Little did we know that there was a strike ( not sure why , maybe because it was Thursday ) so they closed at 2pm . Guess what time we arrived ? Yup , about 2 : 05 . So we walked around it and will go back tomorrow to see the inside ( well , unless there 's a Friday strike ) . So off we went on a walk around Rome . A few minutes in , Kelly pronounces " uh , I think I lost the map " . Hmm . Ok , we 're winging it . So we head out , we end up stopping for an espresso then a beer ( it was 5 o ' clock somewhere ) . Kelly pulls out the Rick Steeves book and declares , hmm , I think we 're in the Ghetto . Sure enough , we 're in the Jewish Ghetto . Oh well . Other than the homeless guy aggressively licking the plastic container that held a sandwich , it was pretty tame . By this time , we 'd seen , oh , about 20 monuments . As Kelly put it , it 's like Bob Villa 's This Old Monument . Lots of construction going on . We 've also figured out the cross walks . They 're mere suggestions for the drivers so you edge out … hey , you gonna stop ? It 's a bit like the hokey pokey - you put your right foot in , pull your right foot out , put your right foot in and if it doesn 't get run over , shake it all about all the way across the street . A bit like a Frogger game now darting and weaving . Power on , baby . Sans map , we forge on . Kelly says he knows where we 're going . I 'm sceptical , but off we go . We see a map at a bus stop and head towards Circus Maximus . Turns out , that 's just a vacant field now . Cordoned out , but nothing to see . Next . We go to Largo Argentina , which professes to have free WiFi . Excellent , since I 've dragged my laptop around all day . Liars . No free WiFi . But we took pictures of the ruins and for some reason , there are lots of kitty cats hanging out in the ruins . Tons of them . Now off to the Pantheon . Lots of dead people in there . Man , I 'm naïve , I didn 't know it was a mausoleum . More construction going on outside , but beautiful inside . And lots of rent a Pope outfit stores around . You don 't see many of those in Vancouver . After the Pantheon , we decide to do Rick Steeves ; walking tour to head to the Spanish Steps . Every time we passed someone with a map , I suggested to Kelly , psssst , steal their map ! But he wouldn 't . Ah come on , you 'll fit right in with the Rome crowd . But nooooo , he won 't grab it . Until we pass a sidewalk café that has maps as their place mat . We pulled a stealth ( well , not so stealth ) move and grabbed a map . So we head toward the Trevi Fountain again so we could go to San Crispino gelato ( famous from Eat Love Pray ) . We finally figure out where we are in the map ( I believe we stepped into the map a la Joey Tribianni ) and went to find " the little narrow side street near Trevi - Via della Panettieria " . Hmm . , let 's head to the right . Now a left and presto ! Blonde Girl finds the street a la gelato . Mind you , we walked right past San Crispino and when we hit Burger King ( yes , really ) , we headed back . It was worth the trip . We both had two flavours - Kelly had caramel and rum / cocoa . I had a tangy lemon sorbet and a honey gelato . Yummmm ! They were all excellent . Definitely worth finding . ( note : this is trip # 2 to Trevi Fountain ) . Next stop , Spanish Steps . On our way , we recognize a street we passed this morning that had a nice Italian silk tie for 10 Euros ( footnote , I told Kelly to buy it but he didn 't ) . So let 's go down a few blocks and see if we find it . Nope . But visit to Trevi Fountain # 3 . We 're regulars now . Let 's whip out that map . Oh , a short cut to the Spanish Steps … . Super … I have 100 % confidence in this move . But eventually , we do make it there . Some dude tried to hand me three red roses saying they were " for luck " . I kept declining but he insisted . So finally , I took them . Of course , the dude kept following us around and finally asked for money . So , of course , I gave him his roses back . It 's not like I wanted to carry them around all night . Up the stairs we go . Once we get to the top , a little parched and low and behold , there 's a street vendor . Two Moretti , please . Walking down the street and drinking beer , I love Rome ! On our way back , we stop for dinner at La Botte Osteria Pizzeria . Very good - we had tomato & basil bruschetta then Kelly had lasagna classica alla bolognese ; and I had fettuccine al ragu ( minced meat & tomato sauce ) . The house wine wasn 't anything to write home about , but ok . There was a LOUD female tour group from Mississippi in the house . The chick behind us declared ; " The Olive Garden is the only Italian restaurant we have back home " . Oh my . The table to the right of us was LOUD LOUD LOUD and when the group left , there was a lot of laughter by the staff and the French family beside us . Hi , we 're Canadian , we 're not with them … During dinner , it occurs to me that I left our train tickets at home . Oh man , I left our train tickets at home . Ahhhhh ! Well at least I have the confirmation number so off to the train station tomorrow to see if they can reprint the tickets as we have them booked for each leg of our travel . Stupid blonde girl . Sigh … Now back to the room to finish off the bottle of Chianti and watching the first thing in English Kelly found on TV - some Nick Cage movie . Tomorrow , ( side trip to the train ) then Colosseum again and finally , to the Vatican . We 're going to walk to the Colosseum ( about 45 mins ) then try the Metro to the Vatican . Wish us luck ! If you 're looking to annoy me , talk to me about " girl " beers . You know , the ones that are fruity and sweet . GIRL beers . Duh . However , i . . .
|
Welcome to Margrave , Georgia - but don 't get too attached to the townsfolk , who are either in on a giant conspiracy , or hurtling toward violent deaths , or both . There 's not much of a welcome for Jack Reacher , a casualty of the Army 's peace dividend who 's drifted into town idly looking for traces of a long dead black jazzman . Not only do the local cops arrest him for murder , but the chief of police turns eyewitness to place him on the scene , even though Reacher was getting on a bus in Tampa at the time . Two surprises follow : The murdered man wasn 't the only victim , and he was Reacher 's brother whom he hadn 't seen in seven years . So Reacher , who so far hasn 't had anything personal against the crooks who set him up for a weekend in the state pen at Warburton , clicks into overdrive . Banking on the help of the only two people in Margrave he can trust - a Harvard - educated chief of detectives who hasn 't been on the job long enough to be on the take , and a smart , scrappy officer who 's taken him to her bed - he sets out methodically in his brother 's footsteps , trying to figure out why his cellmate in Warburton , a panicky banker whose cell - phone number turned up in Joe 's shoe , confessed to a murder he obviously didn 't commit ; trying to figure out why all the out - of - towners on Joe 's list of recent contacts were as dead as he was ; and trying to stop the local carnage or at least direct it in more positive ways . Though the testosterone flows as freely as printer 's ink , Reacher is an unobtrusively sharp detective in his quieter moments - not that there are many of them to judge by . Despite the crude , tough - naïf narration , debut novelist Child serves up a big , rangy plot , menace as palpable as a ticking bomb , and enough battered corpses to make an undertaker grin . ( leechild . com ) An " OMG " wouldn 't even be near how I like to express what I think of this book . A page turner ? Definitely ! Gripping ? You bet ! A must read ? OH YES ! So I accidentally stumbled over this book . The cover was . . . . nahhhh . . . . the blurb was . . . . . nahhhh , but I wanted to read something different than the usual romance , a little break so to speak ! And boy oh boy did I get a break . So there 's this guy Reacher who one day ends up in this little town called Margrave in Georgia . Out of the blue , really , because his older brother once mentioned that a famous guitarist , Blind Blake , died at that place . But there 's a lot more he finds out and gets himself into in quite some trouble . I honestly loved it . I found myself sneaking into a corner of the house at any given moment just to read another two or even five pages . The characters are interesting and well developed . The story was different to what I had read before ( which doesn 't mean too much due to my love for romance ) , but well explained and believable . Jack 's great and in his own way very likable from page one onwards . Verdict : hooked to the Reacher series and want more . Free - spirited Chloe lives life on the edge . Unlike her soon - to - be married sisters , she isn 't ready to settle into a quiet life running their family 's newly renovated inn . But soon her love of trouble - - and trouble with love - draws the attention of the very stern , very sexy sheriff who 'd like nothing better than to tame her wild ways . Suddenly Chloe can 't take a misstep without the sheriff hot on her heels . His rugged swagger and his enigmatic smile are enough to make a girl beg to be handcuffed . For the first time , instead of avoiding the law , Chloe dreams of surrender . Can this rebel find a way to keep the peace with the straitlaced sheriff ? Or will Chloe 's colorful past keep her from a love that lasts . . . and the safe haven she truly wants in a town called Lucky Harbor ? ( from the back cover ) L - o - v - e - d i - t ! ! ! Can 't say it any other way . Okay , this was # 3 in the Lucky Harbor ( or should it be Lucky Reader ? ) series and all about Chloe . We 've met Maddie in Simply Irresistible ( one of my favourite reads this year ) and Tara in The Sweetest Thing . I 've really enjoyed the Lucky Harbor series so far , in fact since " discovering " Jill Shalvis spot on 12 months ago , it 's been definitely " her " year in my household ! : - ) I was really looking forward to reading Chloe 's story . The wild one ! The one with Asthma and lack of sex because of it . The one with issues like saying " I love you " and issues with settling down . And big kudos to Shalvis - SHE DID NOT DISAPPOINT . Throw in a guy like Sawyer , a tough , sexy Sheriff , and complicate it a bit with some past issues for him as well . So . . . . bottom line , I could sit here and write about what else I liked , about Maddie and Tara , about Sawyer 's friends , Jax and Ford , about Lance , the wonderful Lucille , but as I said , bottom line is , you need to get this one and just read it yourself . I promise you , you will not be disappointed ! It 's a real treat ! Jojo Harvey is a literary agent whose star is on the rise . In love with both her married boss and her burgeoning career , not much distracts her . Until she finds herself representing two women who used to be best friends . One of them , Gemma , has suddenly found herself from a broken home - at the age of thirty - two . Meanwhile , Lily - the woman Gemma has always blamed for stealing her one chance of happiness - is enjoying the overnight success of her debut novel . Set in the world of publishing , ' The Other Side of the Story ' is about love , loyalty , glass ceilings and survival tactics - and what to do when you get your chance for revenge . ( mariankeyes . com ) But really I can 't say anything else than boring . We all have a bad day and I suppose what I did like was the description of the publishing side . . . the pain we feel with bad reviews , the hope and the let - down - the roller coaster of being in this business . But there 's nothing else to say . Gemma 's story was . . . okay . Dad falls in love with his secretary and leaves his wife . Daughter writes about it in emails and these emails fall into the hand of a Literary Agent . That is Jojo - her story . I have no idea . Lily is Gemma 's friend . Well they used to be friends until Lily falls in love with Gemma 's ex . Lily 's just released her book - a bestseller . Don 't forget , ' Wexford said , ' I 've lived in a world where the improbable happens all the time . ' However , the impossible has happened . Chief Inspector Reg Wexford has retired . He and his wife , Dora , now divide their time between Kingsmarkham and a coachhouse in Hampstead , belonging to their actress daughter , Sheila . Wexford takes great pleasure in his books , but , for all the benefits of a more relaxed lifestyle , he misses being the law . But a chance meeting in a London street , with someone he had known briefly as a very young police constable , changes everything . Tom Ede is now a Detective Superintendent , and is very keen to recruit Wexford as an adviser on a difficult case . The bodies of two women and a man have been discovered in the old coal hole of an attractive house in St John 's Wood . None carries identification . But the man 's jacket pockets contain a string of pearls , a diamond and a sapphire necklace as well as other jewellery valued in the region of £ 40 , 000 . It is not a hard decision for Wexford . He is intrigued and excited by the challenge , and , in the early stages , not really anticipating that this new investigative role will bring him into physical danger . I didn 't like it , to be honest . First I had an audio book and thought I was listening to Bob the Builder and the Gang . Weird ! So I managed to get hold of the book , but it didn 't improve my " desire " to read it . I found the book more often next to my bed than in my hands ! And I used to love Ruth Rendell 's Wexford stories . The plot was . . . . well I don 't know , because I couldn 't really get into it . It was weak and based on quite a few coincidences . What I did like was Rendell 's description of London - it was good to be " back " . I thoroughly enjoyed that part . Lindsay asked me to post this as well . I can only wholeheartedly recommend her books . They 're are a treat to read and I 'm sure you all will enjoy themas much as I did . In Emily Dahill , CID Part 1 , I had one such scene which my editor thought was hilarious but that 's not why I wrote it . I just wanted to keep the soldier for grabbing for his rifle . You will find that scene in the story called , Right Place , Wrong Day . Even from his new vantage point , he could still see how the other kids and collies were doing . As the time came to a close , out of the corner of his eye he spied something very suspicious . The twins . Amanda seemed focused on moving Maggie and Jack not only away , but so their backs were to Nibs . Under normal circumstances , Thaddeus would alert the two , but something told him what he was about to witness could and would be priceless . Once he saw the adults had been suckered into dropping their guard , he watched as Adam slipped an arm around Nibs ' neck . Hunched over like in a cowboy movie Adam tried to lead the collie toward the door and freedom with him and his sister . " Oomph , " Adam grunted , as his backside came in hard contact with the floor . As he looked up the first thing he saw was a pair of legs in khakis , the toes from penny loafers peering out from the cuffed pants . With a sheepish smile he lifted his head higher only stopping when he saw Thaddeus smiling down at him . " Na , na , nowhere sir , " Adam stammered out . He followed Thaddeus ' eyes to the collie , happily sitting beside him . " Honest sir , he followed me . I 'd never , " Adam slowly shook his head . " take him , even though I 'd love to have such a smart buddy as him . I mean , my sister 's all right but a girl and us guys got to stick together . " To emphasize his love for Nibs , Adam encircled the collie 's neck with his tiny arms earning him a head rub . " I wish my sister and I had someone like him to talk to . Mommy 's good , but sometimes she just doesn 't have the time to listen . Ya know ? I mean with daddy gone she has to work extra besides her soldiering . " Accountant Katie Kramer is a quintessential good girl - - working hard , recycling diligently , all the while trying to ignore the feeling that she doesn 't fit in anywhere . That 's all she wants . Well , that - - and amazing sex , and the kind of daredevil escapade she can look back on when she 's crunching numbers in a dusty cubicle . Which explains why she just took a job in Wishful , California , working for Wilder Adventures and Expeditions . Waking up to find a magnificently built stranger towering over her bed - - that part defies explanation . . . After wandering the planet for months following a life - changing accident , Cameron Wilder has come back to the only home he knows . Under other circumstances , he might be thrilled to find a gorgeous woman sleeping in his cabin , but now , while he 'll risk his body taking clients on adrenaline - drenched excursions , his heart is off limits . Still , Katie 's killer smile triggers something deep in his gut . . . among other places . Showing her how exhilarating it can be to stop balancing her life as if it was a checkbook is the biggest rush he 's ever felt - - and an adventure Katie 's wishing would never end . . . ( amazon . com ) No wonder 3 / 4 of the female population is ooh ' ing and ahh ' ing about this book . Two words : It 's GREAT . It pulls you in from the very first page and doesn 't let go of you until the very end . Katie 's just survived a traumatic accident when she flees from her life to seek some adventure - in the Sierras where she 's taken on a temp job with WILDER ADVENTURES . Cam returns from his year of " finding himself traveling the world " at the same time and finds Katie in his bed . He has to deal with his own demons as well after a snowboarding accident finished his careers . Both have an " instant attraction " and agree to do the " no strings attached " fun time . Yet , over the few weeks they lean to cope and work at their bottled up problems . The way they help each other to deal with their past was well developed and I loved it . And with the Jill Shalvis ' touch of wit and humour the story was close to perfect . Katie 's a great character - I really liked her . " Balls out " is her motto , live her life and no regrets . She 's the one in the " relationship " who gives , is open about her feelings and so down to earth , one can not like her . Even a guy like Cam who 's trying his darnest . So if you please excuse me , I need to order Stone 's and TJ 's books . . . . NOW ! I 'm giving away one free copy of " Journey to Her Dreams " . This is an E - book ( pdf ) and is available for international winners . All you have to do is : Autumn Haven 's Las Vegas " to - do " list said to catch a show and play the slots - not wake up married to a sexy jerk like Sam Leclaire . The first moment she saw him eyeing her like a luscious piece of the dessert buffet , her usually responsible self told her run . And she did - right into the wildest fantasy weekend of her life . But Monday morning jolted her back to reality and before she could say " pass the coffee " Sam was gone . Now a successful wedding planner , Autumn she hasn 't clapped eyes on the heart - breaking hockey superstar for over two years . . . until she organizes his teammate 's " Special Day , " where Sam makes a BIG play to pick up where he left off ! But she has vowed any man of hers plays for keeps . Is Sam the man for her or does she banish him to the sin bin forever ? ( www . rachelgibson . com ) Autumn is a lovely character , a struggling mum trying to establish her business as a wedding / events planner . Sam is the typical " over - alpha - male " and Hockey player with the Chinooks . After five years they meet again at a wedding . Wait , meet again ? I thought they had a son together and Sam was taking him for overnight stays ? Yes , I didn 't get that one . Anyway , they meet again and the whole " Why ? " with - himself - conversation starts . And I don 't get it either . . . he left her in the hotel room , because she wasn 't his type ? Then of course , Autumn 's with - herself - conversation that she couldn 't trust him . I kinda get that , once bitten twice shy . . . Would you travel around the world to uncover the reason for your dreams ? Hollie , a young woman from Tasmania does , and during her journey to Ireland , she is determined to find out what is behind those dreams about " the other woman " . Yet , during her quest for answers , Hollie finds more than just the reason for it . Take control of your future today . Sam rolled her eyes and shook her head at the sleazy slogan at the back of the bus . Yet , it gave her an idea and she thought about a possible Mega Rear Ad on the Dublin bus when her phone announced an incoming call . " Good morning , it 's Phoebe here - " But her assistant didn 't have a chance to finish the sentence . " Phee , I 'm on my way to the office . I 've only just come out of the meeting with Mr . Fitzgerald . " A lie . " Give me ten minutes . " Phoebe persisted with her message though . " The meeting this afternoon with Mr . Jackson has been cancelled . He 's still out of town . The new appointment will be next Wednesday , same time . " As she strode by the shop window , Sam admired her reflection . She liked what she saw . So what ? She was vain , but appearance was important to her and she loved to accentuate the main feature in her face - her beautiful , bright blue eyes . She watched herself in the window , her long legs seeming even longer in her new high heels which had cost a fortune , her delicate fingers proudly showing off her wedding ring , the diamond earrings and her cheeks which had turned slightly rosy after the facial . " This actually suits me fine , " she finally replied after admiring herself . " Don 't expect me in the office this afternoon . I 'll be out for the rest of the day . I 'll work on the layouts for the January edition tomorrow . " She hung up without even waiting for a response , checked the time and dialled a number . " Hello ? " " Claire ? " Sam opened her car and threw her bag in the back . " How about some lunch ? " " When ? " " Now . " " Sam , seriously , someone has to tell you one day that other people actually need to work hard for their money . " Claire replied . " How about I meet you in about half an hour on George Street ? " " Grand . I look forward to it . " Sam got in her car and drove back into the main streets of Dublin . The cars ahead of her were slow , and she took a deep breath and tried to ignore her obvious dislike of the winter season . DuEmail ThisBlogThis ! Share to TwitterShare to FacebookShare to Pinterest This is part of chapter two of my current WIP . I 'd appreciate any comments . Even better constructive critism . Best of all would be comments if you like it . I was so , so disappointed by this book . : ( After reading Jill 's Lucky Harbor series , I was quickly hooked on her style of writing . I have read . . . dozens of her books . Animal Magnetism was my absolute favorite book by her , so you can imagine my excitement for the second in this series . Final verdict ? One huge letdown . First , let 's talk about the errors this book was riddled with . I felt like I got an early draft version rather than the final book . Extra words , incorrect . . . morePublisherPPu I loved Animal Magnetism and the whole set up in Sunshine . So naturally I was looking forward to Dell 's story ( AND I CAN ' T WAIT FOR ADAM 's TURN ! ) . But it was a bit of a let down . It 's almost 300 page of repetition of Dell being so alpha male and Jade leaving soon - and a bit of filler in between with Adam , Brady and Lilah . But it 's the witty remarks , the witty conversations that make up for it and make it a worthwhile book to read , not only for Shalvis lover . NB - One tiny little remark at the end though . I wasn 't sure whether to include it or not , but after two or more months of editing my own book I was distracted by all the mistakes in this book . For me it 's about the worst part of writing , but as a reader I like a clean book even if it means I have to wait longer . I can live with mistakes , but this one was riddled with it . ISBN : 978 - 0060589776 My rating : 3 / 5Sugar Beth Carey , the one - time " wild child " of Parrish , Mississippi , returns home to face a slew of old enemies lining up to get even . Worst of all is Colin Byrne , the man whose career Sugar Beth destroyed . Now he 's a famous novelist living in Sugar Beth 's old mansion , and he 's using his writer 's imagination to figure out how to bring the town 's former princess to her knees . ( www . susanephillips . com ) Ain 't She Sweet is one of those books where I was undecided on what rating to give this book . It was a great read , and nowadays I don 't expect anything less from SEP , she 's just one hell of a writer , but . . . hmmm . . . . how to put it into words . The plot was good , funny , witty , great dialogue etc , but I had a hard time warming up to the characters . I 'd recommend Ain 't She Sweet to all of those SEP lovers , but it 's certainly not her best work . For those readers ( really ? There are some out there ? ) please have your first Phillips experience with a different book like " Dream a little Dream " or " Nobody 's Baby but Mine " . She 's Dr . Isabel Favor , America 's diva of self - help . He 's Ren Gage , Hollywood 's favorite bad guy . She 's lost her money , her fiancé , and her reputation . He makes his living killing people - one the the silver screen , that is . Sometimes all it takes is a special place . . . a special love . . . a little breathing room . . . for life to deliver all its glorious promise . ( www . susanephillips . com ) Gee , I like SEP 's books . Another great read . From start to almost the end . Yes , I have to admit , the end was close to ridiculous or unbelievable that I wondered whether I had picked up the wrong book . The main characters are Isabel and Lorenzo " Ren " . She 's just lost everything important in her life when she flees to Italy for some time out . But she meets Ren who 's in Italy about to start his next movie . Order meets Chaos ! I really liked the two characters , Ren even more when he got the hang of playing with the kids , or the potty training . I had a good giggle . It was a typically SEP story with twist and turns , love and misunderstandings and a really good read for everyone who loves a good romance . I wasn 't really sure how to rate it because bottom line , I had it read within days and I loved it . But it doesn 't have the characters like in Dream a Little Dream or even the depth . She has a passion for the truth . . . and this time , it 's taking her down . A commercial airliner disaster has brought Tempe Brennan to the North Carolina mountains as a member of the investigative agency DMORT . As bomb theories abound , Tempe soon discovers a jarring piece of evidence that raises dangerous questions - - and gets her thrown from the DMORT team . Relentless in her pursuit of its significance , Tempe uncovers a shocking , multilayered tale of deceit and depravity as she probes her way into frightening territory - - where someone wants her stopped in her tracks . So there 's a plane crash in in North Carolina and Tempe Brennan is ( coincidental ) just around the corner and is asked to help out . Ryan ( the Montreal cop ) will join the crash site ( coincidental ) as well . She goes of in the forest for some rest and . . . . surprise surprise finds a foot which is not belonging to the crash site . Then it starts to get reasonably interesting as the pressure is on her to prove that she did follow protocol with this foot . Pressure from the high ranking Lieutenant Governor of the State . Then it 's really like a roller coaster , well it would 've been if Reichs wouldn 't yadi yadi yada around . The plane crash ? Don 't ask me , it was like a second , irrelevant plot . I 'd say less would 've been more . The constant repetition of questions , not only regarding work , but her private life really made me skip pages in the end . And as I said above , the plane crash a big fizzer ! Publisher : Pocket Star ISBN - 13 : 978 - 1439153826 My rating : 3 / 5 A reckless adventure in a deadly paradise . Thrill seekers Zakary and Gideon Stark travel the globe in search of extreme adventure , but a trip to Venezuela to jump off the world 's highest falls catapults them into a perilous game of life or death - where they don 't know the rules . A one - night stand that will change his life forever . Kidnapped with a woman Zak knows nothing about , the brothers are held prisoner deep in the jungle . A risky , deathdefying escape separates them and nearly claims Zak 's life . . . until his recovery reveals a baffling new sixth sense . An unexpected diversion with lethal consequences . Now , to find his missing brother , Zak and the mysterious Acadia Gray will have to out - smart , out - gun , and out - maneuver not just the brutal kidnappers but also a new player who joins the adrenaline game : a ruthless opponent who wants the Stark brothers dead - at any cost . ( fromt he back of the cover ) Wow ! This was a great read . It sucks you in from the very beginning and has you on the edge of your seat literally right through to the end . It 's all about a kidnapping of brothers Zakary and Gideon Stark - plus Zak 's one night stand Acadia . The romance - adventure idea really appealed to me and I couldn 't put the book down . A page turner ! The two main characters are great . Zak ignorant , arrogant and macho , but learning from Acadia that life can be enjoyable again . Acadia is very likable , in fact real . She 's a small town girl , who after a win in the Lotto , travels to Venezuela to step out of her comfort zone from daily life . It 's a massive step outside as she 's stuck with the two brothers in the jungle running from their kidnappers . She conquers big and small challenges with instinct and flair . I really liked her ! Also - Acadia 's jacket ! Now I am aware this is a fiction and I should give a little leanway , but when she got out a tent out of her pocket I was like " No way ! " . That was a bit of a turn off for me because it was edging on the " ridiculous " part . Lastly ( and nothing to do with the rating ) - There are a view readers who mentioned the " sixth sense " Zak acquires after his death experience . I kinda liked it . For me it was probably more believable than the " jacket scenario " . It 's subtle and fits into the story . " The Versatile Blogger Award . " Thank you so very much . I very much appreciate the " Trophy " , especially as I consider myself a rather lazy blogger . So thanks , Meg ! ! ! ! ! ! I 've got two beautiful , beautiful girls who make me complete ! Yes I know I do whinge sometimes , but hey , c ' est la vie ! . . . They 're two little cuties ! My second book " Journey to Her Dreams " will be published with Astraea Press soon . . . . Can 't wait . AP has been a great help , guide and all of the wonderful things you can say about a publisher . I 'm really proud being part of their team ! But here 's the good news : When it 's caught in its earliest stages , the five - year survival rate for women ages 20 - 39 is almost 90 % . We think that ¹ s a pretty fabulous reason for every young woman to get proactive about her breast health . ( www . rethinkbreastcancer . com ) First came the stunning number - one bestseller Along Came a Spider . Now comes the scariest , most unforgettable novel in several years . In Los Angeles , a reporter investigating a series of murders is killed . In Chapel Hill , North Carolina , a beautiful medical intern suddenly disappears . Washington D . C . 's Alex Cross is back to solve the most baffling and terrifying murder case ever . Two clever pattern killers are collaborating , cooperating , competing - and they are working coast to coast . ( www . jamespatterson . com ) Woohoo , what a page turner . Okay , it did take me a few pages to get into the story , but once I was hooked , I was really reading non - stop . I liked this one much better than " Swimsuit " , which I had read recently . Lisa was conservatively raised in a Catholic family in no - where middle America , where excitement is scarce and dreams are for sleeping . Little did she know , at age thirteen , she would suddenly find herself on a totally different path . Through an unlikely chance meeting of a fellow classmate , she 's surprisingly mesmerized , almost consumed , to befriend a girl who is obviously from the other side of the tracks . . . the cool side . Lisa does whatever she has to just to be accepted into this small club of coolness . Little did she realize , she was signing up for a lot more than social status . The two best friends find themselves innocently taking their relationship to a foreign level neither had experienced or saw coming . A rollercoaster ride littered with choices and challenges Lisa never fathomed facing , especially in no - where middle America . She will find out what she is made of as she faces the consequences and struggles that come along with going against the grain . Throughout their six year relationship , you will witness a touching story of human nature at it 's best . . . and at it 's worst . Showing just how far the human spirit can be challenged and pushed to a point where your " fight or flight " instincts naturally kick in . Struggling just to survive in a world where you are not like everyone else , but at the same time you really are . The daily struggles - both internal and external - are exhausting , yet necessary in their quest for one simple human need . . . . love . Finally breaking through all constraints that hold them back , reaching levels of one - ness that few actually obtain in a lifetime with their partner . . . only to find once they 've reached that special place , it 's not quite the right fit . . . for one of them , at least . This contemporary story will lead the reader through highs and lows , giving insight to the every day challenges of the socially unaccepted , which will no doubt leave them rooting for the underdog . A true story of human resilience and the power of love . . . plain and simple . ( www . amazon . com ) Lisa Vaughn sent me a copy of her story for an honest opinion . I first of all , though , would like to apologies to Lisa for taking so long to read it . Life has just been busy and it had nothing to do with the content of this book ! It wasn 't the first memoir I 've read , but admittedly the first memoir by a person I don 't know and had never heard of . So I was a bit hesitant to accept the book . For me my private life is just that , private - okay , as much as you can keep things private when you 're trying to sell books . So my sincere admiration goes out to Lisa for telling the story of her first love , a gay relationship , in such raw and open emotions . A true story of a young woman not only trying to find herself in the 1970s , but also fighting for what she believes in . We start reading about Lisa 's journey at a tender age of thirteen , growing up somewhere in Indiana with under the strict eyes of her parents , especially her mother , to whom she often refers to as " The Warden " . This is also the time when she meets Selina , the girl she falls in love with , the girl she fights for and the girl she feels more than love for , she feels connected to . It was a page turner for me . Once I got started I couldn 't stop reading . Lisa wrote the story interestingly that I felt every pain and every happy moment with her . I felt like I conquered every milestone with her as well as laughed with her . I would definitely recommend this book to everyone to read . It 's honest , fast paced and interesting and doesn 't fall at all into the category to push any " gay " issues . ( Click here to read a great interview with Lisa Vaughn re the book ) Jess denies God . In his infinite wisdom , He 's taken everyone she 's ever loved . Moving to the French Quarter was a ploy to erase the guilt she felt for rebuking her faith . Perhaps , if she hadn 't met Justin , an angel preoccupied with getting back into God 's good graces , and drowning in his hatred for humanity , her plan would have worked . Never mind falling in love , that 's not supposed to happen . In fact , it may even be forbidden . Jess just wants Justin to understand her plight , and he wants to protect her from a world she doesn 't know . For me this one was a risky choice - a paranormal story has to be beyond good for me to keep reading . I liked the idea . Jess ' mother died and her faith in God is shaky . Then she meets Justin . . . OK , this book was so not my cup of tea ( hence no rating , because that would 've been unfair ) I had to put the book aside a couple of times . Not only because of the emotions and the food for thought they gave , but the constant fights between the two main characters were tiring . The discussions between them about faith , love , guilt and all those issues deserve a book over 200 pages , but at some stage I felt it was too much . And I couldn 't really figure out between all their fights what made Jess so special to Justin for him to fall in love with her . Other issues I had was that the main character Jess was either sleeping , in bed or in the bathroom , other descriptions didn 't make it clear enough for me to have an imaginary picture of the scene which made it even harder to follower the storyline . I know Monique O ' Connor is a very talented writer and having said ( or written ) all this doesn 't say it 's not worthwhile reading . Paranormal is not my thing , but I was curious because I liked the blurb . Email ThisBlogThis ! Share to TwitterShare to FacebookShare to Pinterest
|
Here he was August 2011 . Very tiny . Very sick . Here he is in April 2012 , all 15 pounds of him . He could barely sit . He couldn 't hold a toy . He has only been home 3 1 / 2 months . He is growing so fast ! ! Here he is in his bed standing up all by himself ! ! He pulled himself up ! He wants to stand like everyone else ! He 's incredibly smart ! He knows his name . He understands so much english ! He is amazing ! Not only is he standing - he 's balancing against the side of his bed here ! " Look Ma - no hands ! " He doesn 't fall ! He 's still so tiny that his bed is a pack and play . The crib is way too big . We made the pak and play cozy with a pretty cover and a mattress . The kids love to change his bedding and put cute little boy patterned sheets on it . Inside is his blankie , his Elmo and a little Snoopy baby . He turns 8 years old in one month ! He can stand in the walker and his bed now . But not anywhere else . It won 't be long before he stands up in a room . I won 't be surprised if he walks before Noah ! Inside this tiny little body is GIANT determination ! And a will to live . So sweet ! He still never cries . Not at the Drs having blood drawn , not when he doesn 't get his way . He may sulk for a few seconds and then . . . . . . . . . . . . he laughs ! ! Dr Chip our favorite pediatric heart Dr likes to give his favorite patients a stuffed toy ! So Moses must be Dr Chip 's favoritest patient ever ! Because he got this huge red bull dog ! LOL ! ! Poor Mosie . He 's not really loving on this dog . We placed him this way to get him to lean on it . His arms were too tired and he couldn 't lift his chest up . His legs are stronger than his arms . He did roll himself completely away from the dog quickly ! He can " roll " to move quite fast ! We are working on the 4 point crawl with him . He has grown strength in his legs , but not his arms yet . He really sees no use for this big red dog ! He 's telling me that he isn 't going to stay there for long ! : o ) Now Julius thinks this dog is the best thing ever . You can see Mosie is now in the background and Julius has claimed this dog for himself . The only bad thing is if someone takes a toy Julius wants , Julius throws a toy at them ! ! Aaack ! Poor Noah and Mosie have been targets . We have to really watch our ju - ju bean , he is a thinker and he 's fast ! ! I don 't think he intends to hurt , but he sure likes to get his way ! LOVE - LOVE - LOVE these precious beautiful boys ! They are gifts from God ! We are so very blessed this Christmas Season . Our cup is over flowing with JOY ! Hi ! Dad . I 'm not looking at you . I 'm busy . I know you have the camera . Take a picture of Julius . He likes pictures . Don 't bug me . Sure , Dad . Now look what you did ! You made me . . . . . . . . crrrrrrryyy ! No Dad . You are not funny . You won 't make me laugh . You can 't make me look at you ! I 'm not going to laugh ! O . K . Dad . I 'll look . What Dad ? What do you want ? No I do not want to smile . I 'll look but I 'm not smiling ! Phew ! Here 's Faith ! Faith - save me ! Dad is taking pictures . I know you like pictures Faith . But I was busy . Help me find my alphabet bus , help me make Dad stop . No Faith , I don 't want to smile ! Don 't you love me Faith ? I thought you loved me ? Dad won 't give up ! Make Dad stop ! Doesn 't anybody love me ? Mom ? ? ! ! I need help here ! Really Dad ? Another picture . You take pictures of a guy when he 's down ? Faith you can stop smiling . Dad 's putting the camera away . I 've got things to do . Has anybody seen my cell phone ? Boy , I hate it when Dad takes pictures ! How does mom manage to get Dad to stop when he tries to take her picture ? Oh ! That 's right , I can 't say those words ! ! We rejoice ! For a healthy heart ! Now he will have both undescended testicles brought down . And if it works like it did for Julius ( bringing only down one for Julius ) , Noah will have a big growth spurt ! ! Julius went pre - corrective surgery in a size 2T with the Urologist thinking he was a girl ! ( Yes , we were insulted ! ) To now , one year later post surgery , a size 4T . That seemingly " small " correction for him made a huge difference . Later his Dr and nurse explained to us , that now that the hormones can flow correctly through his body , he can grow ! ! YEAH ! ! This is not the walker he usually uses . This is the saucer he goes in if mom has to use the bathroom ! LOL ! ! This is in his 3 sissy 's room , right by the bathroom . ; o ) This was how Mosie used to hang his very tiny thin little legs . They are still tiny , but they have a little fat on them now ! They should soon grow muscle ! Yeah ! ! Big boy Mosie ! ! I call him my baby , but often he is insulted by that . He has big boy interests . He wants to do mega - bloks so bad . But his hands are too tiny . He has so much determination ! He does not " think " like a baby ! Sorry Mosie , you are a big boy ! He can now hold a few electronic toys that were once too heavy , all by himself ! ! Please don 't mind the dirty hand prints on the wall . Noah and Jacob have found wiping drooly hands on the wall very entertaining . ( yuck ! ) I think the texture is so different from the cribs they knew . They also chew and scratch on the mesh fabric on the bed rail . Sensory ! ! Then he carefully puts his arm around that end of the bed and " feels " the tippy top of a waste basket that sits there . ( very convenient for the top bunk guy - Isaiah , to drop his dirty kleenex into ! ) Jacob tries to pull it into bed with him , but he can 't . So by morning it is toppled over . Then he rests his head in various positions over the bed rail on the side . It looks so uncomfortable ! He tastes it , he chews it . Again he works his way to the wall . Squeek - squeek , the sound of little hands rubbing on the wall . My one rule at bed time is Shh ! The noises Jacob makes are all very quiet and don 't bother the already sleeping brothers . Jacob used to " yell " . Brothers were not happy . ( It took hundreds of trips saying shh , during the night to help him learn . He is about 15 ' from our bed . I guess it is good exercise for me ! : o ) But tonight , Noah ( who sleeps on the other side of the long pillow to the left of Jacob ) decided he was going to hang as far over his side of the bed rail as humanly possible ! Aaack ! I move Noah over to lay down and told him Shh ! I could see Jacob still sitting , yet so tired , fighting to stay up . I gently laid him down . And off he went to dreamy land . Once sleeping he looks like my angel . He lets me caress his head and rub his back . Such a sweet boy , such a gentle spirit . But how ? How can you come from a place so terrible , and have a heart so pure ? Jacob wasn 't even bothered by Noah 's newest interest ! ! Noah was checking out " if the bed was softer on Jakie 's side " ! LOL ! ! And the funny thing is that if Jakie goes on Noah 's side of the bed , Noah wakes up . And Noah tells me " loudly " ! ! Noah does not like visitors on his side of the bed one bit ! LOL ! He finally stayed on his side of the bed . He then lays on his back , and bounces with his feet on the wall . ( He used to have a sore on his forehead from doing this at the orphanage sideways in his crib . ) He holds his head way back - backwards , laying in his back . In his bed here , he is not long enough to touch feet on the wall and head on the soft mesh bed rail . But he loves to bounce ! Finally Noah bounces off to sleep chewing / sucking his new blankie . ( also lovingly made by Dear Sister Sonya ) . These blankies are incredibly durable ! ! And very washable ! Unlike the sleeves of his jammies we have had to pin up so he can 't chew holes in them ! Yeah ! ! Tonsils / adenoids will come out first ! Please pray he can breathe better after this . Because right now he is our " poorest " night breather . : o ( Then the urologist and pediatric dentist . Fourteen years ago I bought white noise machines because Samson ( then 3 years old ) had such terrible sleep apnea . He too had his tonsils / adenoids out . But it didn 't help . : o ( Samson outgrew his apnea , thank goodness ! I could not sleep a wink listening to him at night . Mosie breathes much quieter . But his tongue obstructs his airway . Right now he has a cold . His airway - throat are so small . Boogies everywhere , dinner comes up the back of his nose if he can 't swallow good . Boogies get in the way . So tomorrow a . m . he sees the Dr for a little antibiotic help . I 've gotten behind in my daily posts till New Years . I have been sick , ugh , again . Tom is sick . And so are the 4 blessings - Faith , Lysa , Kitty , Isaiah . This handsome young man is Simon . He is from the same orphanage as our 3 new boys ! His new momma Anna traveled with her friend Grace and my Tom to visit the kids last April . Right now Anna has a chip in challenge ! If she receives $ 1 , 000 . 00 in doations , someone will match that with another $ 1 , 000 . 00 ! ! Please go check out her blog ! She is so inspiring ! Also our Dear Dear , Dear friend , Dr Elizabeth , her link is on the right - under the clouds - " pray for Elizabeth " . Please pray for her . She was in the hospital and has not been feeling well . She played a HUGE part in bringing home our 3 new boys . She also helped with J & P . She helps many - many - many children / orphans selflessly . She is the sweetest most LOVING woman I have ever met , even though we only know each other through the computer . If you know her , you know how easy it is to LOVE her and her beautiful family . When she hurts , we hurt . Please keep her in your prayers ! I love - love - love this picture ! LOL ! ! Noah makes the funniest faces . You just never know how he 's going to " look " at you ! ! And the look on his face actually means nothing ! He just likes to move his facial muscles ! Noah brings us so much joy , making us laugh every day ! Now these last 2 pictures of Mosie are crazy ! ! LOL ! ! He looks like a deer caught in head lights ! You can see he threw his orange and white sock on Jacob ! And he 's pulled his pants legs up as usual ! He never makes faces like this ! These are Noah faces ! LOL ! Yesterday Moses was in the walker . He is standing now ! We have to clap every time he stands , to encourage him . He stands - we clap , he sits . He stands - we clap he sits ! Over and over . He could not stand at all before . Now I can hold him up and he will stand ! So exciting ! ! In his Moses jumped up in the walker and quickly slapped my head , and then tried to scratch / claw at my face . He had a look we 've never seen . He was angry . : o ( I was so shocked but realized that he was ready to fight . He had heard this " voice " before . It scared him . He was going to fight it . Poor precious baby . I quickly sat next to him quietly , gently putting his arms down . I waited for him to look at me . He did and I smiled . I held my hand out to him and he took it . I know Julius and Pauly used to hate it if I told the dog " bad boy " . They thought I was talking to them in that tone , even though they did not understand english then . So I would show them " bad doggy " . But Moses does not understand even that much at this time . I need to be more careful . I was so surprised to see that Mosie had this " fighter " side to him . When Tom picked Moses up from the orphanage they told Tom " He is a trouble maker . " We thought they were nuts . What a mess ! ! LOL ! ! We were prepared , and not prepared ! They did not like leaving the orphanage . They wanted to go " home " to where they came from ! When Tom and I skyped , they were so loud moaning and groaning and complaining , I could not even hear Tom ! These sweet boys were like no other children we ever adopted . Their " survival " skills were deeply ingrained . They saw no reason to stop surviving now , during what seemed to be the worst days of their lives ! They did not want or need us ! But we needed them . And that 's how we bonded ! By the time they got home to the USA , they were 2 separate heavily grieving toddlers . They ran ( well scooted ) in opposite directions from us . They did not find comfort in us or each other . They even attacked each other ! They clearly did not like adults . ( us ) They did however like our children and often accepted a little attention from them . They 'd sit and stare off into the distance , if they weren 't running away . Pauly hated toys , Julius loved a few odd toys that he clung to for dear life . So we used those toys to help him have some control in his life . We made sure he had them with him . He picked them . The first time they bathed they froze in fear . I wanted to cry . They easily would refuse food , so we had to be careful not start control battles over that . Now they have a few foods they don 't really enjoy but will eat . That 's wonderful , because we can 't make separate meals for everyone ! They were like living " dolls " . They had no real likes . They were loud day and night . Pauly bit . Julius was ( still is - ugh ) a world class champion spitter . Pauly now only bites when over excited , Julius spits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . well we 're still working on this ! ; o ) They had diaper blow outs constantly , which we think was caused from their emotions . Their emotional distress seemed to be causing them to " hold " it a long time and then blow outs would occur . They no longer do this ! We 've seen other young children do this when distressed . Eating our foods caused tummy distress too . They weren 't used to how we ate . Even through all of the hardship . We knew that there was something unbelievably special about them . Something very different . Was it because they needed us so much ? Or that their little lives depended on us . I just don 't know . All I know is no matter how hard our days were , or how loud our nights were with them , we went to bed feeling so good about what we were doing with them . So satisfied with each day 's tiny progress . By the time their 3 new Eastern European brothers came home , we knew that Julius and Pauly were part of us . No longer strangers in a strange land . No longer the " new " boys . We were completely bonded for life with them . We knew everything about them , their smells , their hugs . We could no longer remember a time that they had not been our boys ! It was so satisfying to be bonded to Julius & Pauly , it helped our hearts celebrate the three new boys coming home ! Three more to get to know . Heart to heart ! And this time , ( with the three boys ) we really thought we were once again prepared . But were we ? Nope . We were not prepared for how incredibly special they were ! How much we would LOVE them and they would LOVE us back ! ! Home . Home is where the heart is . My heart is with God , my physical being is home here with my husband and children . I thank God for " home " here ! I know our true home is Heaven ! I thank God for that incredible blessing . But to have my heart filled with " home " ( Tom / children ) here are also a huge gift from God , I am so blessed ! Now if my Dear husband will pleeeease take some pictures tomorrow ! ( I 've only asked 4 days in a row ! LOL ! ) I will share about 3 extraordinary little boys who have amazing capacities to LOVE ! Tonight I 'll share how we started . If I make it brief I think I can put it in one post ! LOL ! I thought I had written it before but couldn 't find anything . : o ( Tom and I married in may of 1976 . A million years ago . ( wink * ) My daughter Angel was 2 weeks old . Tom adopted her . We knew each other since he was 16 and I was 13 , we 'd broken up a few times and people laughed when we told them we were going to get married . My mother insisted I date . Boys would call , she 'd happily tell them I was home . And I wish I 'd been strong enough to say no . Tom was in the military until Feb . 1976 . So he wasn 't much help ! Being an unwed mom was hard . Having alcoholic parents was hard . ( my parents are so precious to me now , mom became a Christan at age 50 ! Dad passed away . ) I wanted to make a difference in hurting people 's lives . To help others overcome difficult situations . At 22 I became a Christian ! ! YEAH ! ! ! We bought a home when I was 20 . It felt so empty . Four bedrooms . Tom was working 70 miles away . So we started taking un - wed moms in . We did that for a couple years . I really wanted to adopt . Tom was o . k . about it but not too excited about my idea of having a big family of 6 children ! We applied to adopt when I was 23 . And promptly found out I was pregnant with my 3rd child ! A huge blessing after being told at age 16 I 'd never have kids . So back then if you got pregnant - the adoption stops , baby is born and one year later you can apply to adopt . But we didn 't apply to adopt then . When my son , my 3rd child was 2 yrs old , we applied to be child foster parents . We fostered our Andy then age 7 and adopted him at age 10 . Andy was developmentally delayed from FAS and mentally ill . He was the most difficult child we ever parented . And yet we are so over - joyed that we did ! We are overjoyed that he is our son . We fostered a few more times . But the County thought we were wanting to adopt the foster kids and back then ( 1985 ) it was not good for foster parents to adopt their foster kids . In fact we were offered much more foster care work if we did not adopt Andy . But then he would have ended up in a group home . : o ( We couldn 't do that . So we quit foster care and started Day Care ! : o ) We asked the County if we could adopt through them . They said " we don 't look for kids for families " . Whatever that meant ? So we did Day Care and applied to do a homestudy from the Adoption agency we started our first application with in 1980 ! My Day Care ended up being almost all special ed kids ! ! : o ) We had Chance age 15 ( profoundly delayed ) , Keith age 14 ( Down Syndrome ) , adorable Kelly adopted from Korea had Hep B . Hep B is not a disability but other parents refused to let me watch their kids with her , for fear their kids would get it . : o ( Years later Keith lived in our group home for a year . Sadly his family had a disagreement with us and he moved . We haven 't seen him since . He was precious . After 2 years of Day Care we heard that large corporate Adult group homes were closing . Small County licensed group homes ( 4 bed ) were needed . So we opened up our home to adults with disabilities . MA was our first blessing ! ! ( I quit Day Care after 4 years . ) Then we got the call ! Our baby Joy was born in September 1988 in AZ . She had DS . She was also born without nasal passages and an elctro - cardial defect in her precious heart . We lost Joy in February , 5 months later . We were devastated . In June we were called to pick up our 5 1 / 2 yr old daughter Molly from CT . She was from a disrupted adoption . We were told she had a TBI and CP . But they were wrong and it took 10 years to figure out it was a terminal form of the severest genetic ataxia . After Molly came in 1989 , a super healthy perfectly formed Grace came in 1990 , Matthew with a hernia , severe food allergies ( egg & peanut ) came in 1991 , Hope - super healthy came in 1993 , Gabriel with severe chronic asthma ( he didn 't sleep through the night until he was 3 years old ! ) came in 1995 . In 1990 a wealthy business owner offered us a salary , a home on 50 acres and free adoptions ! But there would be a board of directors and we would have to do as they asked . We would also have to shut down our group home and parent full time . It was so tempting . But we declined . In 1998 we prayed for another baby with DS . And God blessed us with Samson age 3 who had DS . He is the same age as Gabriel . At first Gabe was o . k . with it . But eventually he had a hard time understanding having a brother like Samson . Grace , Matthew and Hope were more accepting . But personalities in brothers sometimes differ in ways that are hard to understand . Gabe loves Samson very much . Samson was / is perfect for us ! After MA had joined our group home in 1987 . Susie who had DS joined us . Susie was a hand full ! Spirited , feisty , loud , and although she was much lower functioning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . you didn 't dare tell her that she was wrong ! LOL ! ! Or she 'd tell you it was you ! ! No one else wanted her in their group home . She lived with us 16 years until the week before she passed away in the ICU from alzheimers at age 44 . Oh ! how we cried . Her family shared her with us and we adored her . We miss her every day . I became pregnant with my Isaiah 2 months after she died . I thought for sure God was giving me my own little baby with DS . We had many more adults with DS live in our group home over the last 25 years . Sometimes they had families that were too hard to deal with , who expected too much from us and we had to ask them to leave . Sometimes families will knit pick everything you do , and you just have to tell them to find another home . We do our best . We 're not perfect . I only had troubles with one woman with DS . She had mosaic DS . She was incredibly bright . She wrote stories , and talked circles around MA . But her family was convinced that DS meant she was very very disabled . This was so not true . So she wet herself , and refused to stand up straight - hiding from everyone . She shop lifted and lied . It broke my heart but there was nothing I could do . Sadly I asked them to find her another home . I was offered a huge raise to keep her . But we don 't do this for money . We do this to support ourselves . We don 't need to be rich . So I guess as you can see . Our life was sprinkled with people with DS throughout whatever we did . And we LOVED them ALL ! Each one a uniquely individual person who taught us incredible lessons about life ! Our Joy passed away . Our Samson , we were told that his heart condition could not be repaired and there was no way to know how long he 'd live . But he 's still here ! And I quit worrying years ago . Because every day with Samson is a gift ! After Samson we adopted Faith in 2001 . She has FAS . We were told we were number 9 on the waiting list for a baby . But everyone else waiting said no to her , so we were blessed with her ! Her full name is Faith Blessing and she lives up to that name every day ! 2002 we adopted our granddaughter Elizabeth ( healthy ) at birth . 2003 we adopted out granddaughter Katherine ( healthy ) at birth . ( birth sisters 11 months apart ) 2004 " surprise " baby Isaiah was born ! And then I pouted for 5 years because these 4 in a row kids were hard ! ! When Isaiah turned 5 he looked at me and said " You should have another baby mom ! " Sadly I told him that I was 52 and that wasn 't going to happen . He and I almost died during my high risk pregnancy . So we applied and waited a year for a US child , and no luck . I suggested to Tom ~ " You know if you would consider going to Europe , we could adopt two , three or four children ! ! " Now I 'm thinking this is a one time thing . Tom is thinking - what the what ! ! ? ? I found our first 2 boys when Shelley B asked " Why isn 't anybody adopting these 2 boys , they are young , at the same orphanage and their Country won 't release more files of young children if they aren 't chosen ! " Both boys had DS , right up our alley ! LOL ! ! And I JUMPED at the chance to tell Shelley B several times - " we want them ! Those are our boys ! ! " I was worried that maybe I was in competition with many other families wanting my boys ! Nope ! ! They were OURS ! ! I asked if there were any other children available at that orphanage , but there weren 't . Tom said only two ! After learning everything about this Country , the special needs children , the living conditions . Tom 's heart softened and he was on a mission . After J & P came home , he would go back again . Being ex - Army he was ready to rescue ! LOL ! Even after years of adopting we knew we could not bring 4 home at a time , ( too hard ) we thought we could do 3 if they were older . So we scoured the RR pages and found every child in our Country . We sorted according to orphanage , read , sorted some more . One orphanage had quite a few . We picked Mosie first , ( oh how I loved his video ! ) then we picked Jacob . Finally we asked Shelley B if there were any others there . She mentioned Noah and a few others . ( We could have picked Katie , but we knew boys were picked less , of course God knew Katie had a family ! ! ) Even then Tom wanted a girl , but I was busy worrying about those less chosen boys , the boys had stolen my heart . We know this was God 's plan . Everything fell into place . And even though satan battled to stop it . God will always win ! We give God the Glory ! !
|
Beautiful Barcelona As my semester in France neared its end , a brief window of free time appeared . Right after my program ended , and right before I met up with my parents , I discovered I had a couple free days . And since my friends were planning on meeting up in the wonderful city of Barcelona I decided , on a whim , to join them . Of course , this whim was granted thanks to some great deals - - not only was my favorite hostel chain having a huge winter sale , the plane ticket was also very cheap . After a good deal of searching and walking , we finally found our hostel , threw our stuff down , and headed out to find dinner . After more searching and walking we ended up circling back to the first restaurant we saw , a Japanese restaurant . I know what you 're thinking - - you 're in Spain and eating Japanese food ? ? In my defense , I had just spent 3 1 / 2 months in a town that , while nice , lacked the Asian food options I was used to . The restaurant in Spain served delicious fried sea food rice for a good price . The next morning we went on a free walking tour of Barcelona - - a guide met us at our hostel and then took us to the meeting point . The tour was 2ish hours long and amazing . Not only was our tour guide passionate about his job , but the city itself was covered in layers of history , stories that I would have never known about had we not taken the tour . The next day we headed out to see one of Barcelona 's biggest attractions - - Sagrada Familia , a massive , impressively strange cathedral . Designed by Gaudi , our guide told us that it was originally designed to be a lot taller but looking at its ginormous shape that seems neigh impossible . This picture doesn 't even come close to depicting this bizarre cathedral . Gaudi thought straight lines were too man made and wanted his cathedral to have a more organic feel to it . You could stare at the front for an hour and still pick out new details , hidden in the many facets . The cathedral was undergoing heavy construction so we couldn 't see all of the outside . The line to get in looked hours long so sadly we just walked around the cathedral . This was a delicious coffee drink my friend has us all try . It 's condensed milk at the bottom , with a shot of espresso on top . Mix them together and you have a tasty drink . Anyway ! The festival of lights in Lyon has nothing to do with the Jewish holiday . Rather , it 's a really cool weekend where they set up fabulous light shows that play on buildings strewed throughout Lyon , France 's third largest city . We started off in the main square in downtown Lyon - - they projected a cute animated movie on the Ferris wheel , complete with lights and fireworks . I was told that Lyon saw 4 million extra tourists just during the festival of lights weekend and I believe that . There was an unbelievable amount of people at the festival . Everyone was wearing black and it was incredibly hard to keep up with people - - at some points we had to hold hands like kids in order to not lose each other in the crowd . The streets of Lyon aren 't terribly big to begin with , but the flux of people stretched from building to building in some parts - - pushing you shoulder to shoulder with the next person . Not all of the shows were as grand as the first one . Some were more modest , just lights , no images for example . It was rather cold so we all grabbed a cup of my new favorite drink - - vin chaud . Literally , hot wine , though it translates to mulled wine . I never knew what mulled wine was , but I love vin chaud . It 's delicious , sweet , and it warms you up quickly on cold nights . As the night wore on we started to nervously glance at our watches . Our school was taking us back in a bus - - if we missed the bus , it 'd be too late to catch the last train home . The massive crowds made getting anywhere take five times longer than normal . We had heard that the city hall put on the best light show so we tried to head in that direction to see if we could see it quickly enough to get back to our meeting spot on time . We literally got stuck in a street , surrounded on all sides by a huge crowd of people . The mass of bodies had the added benefit of warding off the cold so it wasn 't as cold as it had been the whole night . We couldn 't move forward , we couldn 't move backwards , and we weren 't sure where we were even going . Every couple of minutes the crowd would inch forward a foot or so and then abruptly stop . Time was marching forward without us and we worried that we wouldn 't be able to get out of the crowd with enough time to get to our meeting point . One of the chicks who lived in the apartments lining the street we were stuck on looked out at the huge crowd of people stuck in the street and decided to spice it up . Opening her window she started blaring some upbeat French song that everyone knew the words to . We all started cheering ; it made the wait more tolerable as the crowd turned into a small dance party - - even if there wasn 't enough free space to do anything but kind of sway back and forth . Eventually we reached the end of the street and saw that we were right at city hall in time for the light show . It was , by far , the best light show in the entire city . It spanned two grand buildings and was intricately beautiful . After the light show ended , we linked hands , put my fastest friend in the front , and set about running our way through the dense crowd to get the our meeting point in time to catch the bus . My friend was amazing at finding the little spaces between people and had us through the seemingly impenetrable crowd in no time at all . Not only did we catch the bus , we also had time to grab some churros . Recently I came up with a list of things that I miss from the US . Now , as my stay in France draws to a close it 's beginning to hit me all the things I 'll miss from the wonderful country of cheese . Which , ironically , does not rank on my list . On the cheese front I 'm woefully American and prefer milder cheese . This semester has been a blast - - I will write a post eventually trying to put into words the craziness and the ups and downs of studying aboard . While it wasn 't my first time in France it was my longest stay in France and my first time at a French university . Funny side note , whenever I try and tell someone that this is my fourth time in France I inevitably say fortieth and really impress them . In no particular order , here are ten things that I 'll miss about France : 1 . Bakeries It should come as no surprise that France has amazing pastries and bread . But what 's also cool about France is the abundance of boulangeries and pâtisseries . I love the fact I can just drop by for a quick snack , a warm croissant or a baguette for dinner , when I 'm out and about . Sometimes in the States it seems so odd to me that there aren 't any little bakeries to get a quick handmade snack . 2 . Travel Another obvious choice - - being in an European country has the marvelous advantage of making traveling to another country almost as easy as traveling to another state . I 'm currently writing this bit on the short plane ride home from a really fun trip I took to Barcelona on a whim - - it cost me less than 100 € for both transportation AND lodging . It was a great deal . But more on that later ! Even though my program wasn 't quite conducive to traveling , as I had class every morning , I was still incredibly blessed and visited several amazing cities during my stay in Europe . 3 . Euros This is something I didn 't realize I would come to like so much . Euros are going to be hard to give up . For one , they are a heck of a lot prettier than our all - green bills . Secondly , I love the fact that they have . 50 , 1 € , and 2 € coins . I 've gotten used to being able to pay with just change , it 's awfully convenient . It 's going to be odd going back to a country where the biggest coin used is 25 cents . 4 . French language The French language and I have had an usual relation - - like that one time I tried to ask someone if they were mocking me but most likely ended up asking if they miss me , not very effective . However , I do like speaking French , so I 'll miss being surrounded by French . It will be super weird to go to the supermarket and understand everything , all the labels , all the food , what everyone is saying . Weird . Luckily , on this point , I 'll be staying in the French house next semester - - a house on my college campus where we speak French and eat meals together . 5 . Veggie / fruit stands Walking down the main drag in my city , St . Étienne , there is an abundance of fruit and vegetable stands / small shops . They only sell fruits / vegetables and they have a wonderfully homegrown feel about them . 6 . Walking I have to say this with the caveat that this is heavily colored by my rapidly settling in nostalgia . If you had asked me a week ago I would have cursed the mountain of a hill that I had to hike up everyday to get to my room . I hated lugging my groceries up that hill and there have been a couple Sundays I just didn 't leave my room because I knew if I did I would have to hike up that hill . However , looking at this issue from the standpoint of someone who never has to climb up that hill again , I really like the French culture of walking everywhere . In the States seeing people walking places , outside of big cities , is weird - - over here it 's perfectly acceptable . I feel like Americans could benefit by walking places more . We drive everywhere - - it 's kind of absurd , until you take into account how far away everything is iI would be terribly remiss if I didn 't say I would miss all the people I met during my stay in France . Studying abroad is bitter sweet , as it allows you to make friends from all around the world , but then forces you to say goodbye after just 3 1 / 2 months . I meet some great people that made saying goodbye to France that much harder . 10 . Public Transportation This semester I relied solely on public transportation to get around . And while I 'm excited to have my car again , I 'll miss the extensive public transportation they have over here . Getting from one end of the city to the other - - and from one city to the next - - is fairly easy and fairly cheap . For example , we 've settled into our French house for the holidays ( post to come ! it 's awesome ! ) and I 've been hopping on the nearby train to get into St . Etienne to see friends . Not only is it cheap - - cheaper than the tolls when you drive I think - - it 's also quick and easy . There you have it ! I 've spent a wonderful 3 1 / 2 months in France and it 'll be bittersweet to fly out on the 26th . I still haven 't decided if it 'll be more bitter or sweet . The ride to Annecy was in and of itself jaw - dropping . We curved around looming mountains , passing by small villages . When we finally arrived in Annecy , it was bracingly cold as we followed the signs to get to the main attraction - - a huge lake surrounding by mountains . You can 't really see the lake in this picture . . . . . but it 's there ! would 've been cool to be here in the summer - - the water was crystal clear and a beautiful blue . However , the cooler weather meant a less crowds in this gorgeous area . We wandered around town - - le vieux ville was gorgeous and almost reminiscent of Venice , with all the stone buildings crowded around a little canal . Last weekend my friend Michelle and I skipped school ( for the first time , my professor asked if I was sick the next Monday seeing how I 'm always the first one to class everyday ) and jetted off to London to see a friend . It was Thanksgiving when we left - - we tortured ourselves by checking out everything that our family and friends were gorging on back home while we were stuck in a provisional terminal in the airport that lacked even a vending machine . Our dinner was some cookies I had squirreled away . Non - surprisingly , that didn 't work out so we hopped on the metro and went to our hostel . We stayed in Generator Hostel , the same hostel company I stayed in Dublin with . In London they were crazy about the security - - to get near the hostel you had to show your room card . Though I suppose that 's a good thing . Regardless , the hostel in London wasn 't near as nice as the one in Dublin . We got stuck in the basement , which was undergoing a lot of construction , and didn 't have any showers near us . Big Ben ! I literally fangirled when I saw this . Maybe because I never thought I 'd ever go to London , or because it previously had existed solely on my TV screen before commercials during the Olympics . This picture has crappy quality because it 's a zoomed in look at my iPhone picture taken while running across a bridge while a cold rain began to pelt us . Or rather , we saw something , I think , I 'm not sure what . The crowd was huge considering this is the off season and this happens every day . Some guards walked by , some rode horses , and a cold 30 min later it all appeared to be over . After the Tower Bridge we headed over to see Westminster chapel , but when we arrived there was a service going on so the church was closed . Which makes sense - - often times in France the cathedral will be open to tourists even if a service is going on ; it 's a little awkward to try and take pictures while people are trying to worship . That night , after enjoying a particular delicious cinnamon roll - - don 't get me wrong , I adore French pastries but they do not have cinnamon rolls over here and after three months you just start to crave them - - Michelle and I went to see Phantom of the Opera ! I 've been obsessed with this musical for about as long as I remember . I know every word to every song and most of the speaking parts . We showed up at the ticket office the day off trying to buy the cheap cancellation tickets . It was 20 pounds for the seats with ' partially obstructed views ' and 50 pounds for the ' non - obstructed view ' . The lady working assured us that the views weren 't really obstructed - - just a small little pole that might only get in the way sometimes so we bought the cheap tickets . When we found our seats that night I laughed as I sat down . The pole , which wasn 't too small ( ( probably a good thing since it held the low hanging ceiling up ) ) was directly in front of my seat , making it a little difficult to see things . I spent the first act dodging left and right to follow the action . Luckily for the second act I was able to find an empty seat next to Michelle which offered a miraculously unobstructed view of the stage . The next morning we had an early flight to get back to Lyon . Long story short , the metro opens late , the trains sometimes don 't come and when they do they have mechanical difficulties , the different terminals are really far away , but one mad dash - - and a lost scarf - - later , we made to our gate just as they began to board . The French don 't believe in breakfast as much as Americans do . In the United States , at least once a week when I 'm home , my father cooks up a huge homemade breakfast . From fried eggs and bacon , to chocolate chip pancakes , to crispy waffles covered in fruit and whipped cream , it is always a great way to start a day . I can 't wait to get back to the US and stuff my face with bacon - - something that doesn 't really exist over here . 2 . Taco Bell I can 't believe I 'm writing this . And I wouldn 't be , if I hadn 't daydreamed about eating Taco Bell tacos for hours during class this semester . The meat isn 't real and neither is the nutrition , but sometimes you just crave cheap Mexican food . Also , another thing that isn 't terribly popular over here . So this is rather inconvenient , but in France , public restrooms don 't exist . Sure , if you go into a decent restaurant you might find one , but everywhere else you 're out of luck . The bathrooms in McDonald 's ( ( which sadly exists in abundance over here ) ) have codes that you have to look on your receipt to find in order to unlock the doors . You have to pay to use the restroom in the train station in Lyon . So when your day consists of sight seeing in a town and getting a baguette for dinner , finding a restroom turns into a game of who - can - charm - the - waiter into sneaking and using the restroom . 4 . Goodwill I have found exactly one thrift shop in my town . To put things into perspective , in my hometown , which is considerably smaller than St . Etienne , has four thrift shops - - and those are just my favorite ones . Suffice to say , I can 't wait to run to Goodwill and buy some cheap sweaters when I get back home . This can 't come as much of a surprise , but there aren 't any pianos just lying around for me to play here in France . Even though I expected this , I still missing sitting down and striking out the opening chords to The Great Gate of Kiev . I 'm excited to get back home and even Hendrix , where there will be pianos - - albeit perhaps badly turned - - a plenty for me to play . So this the most sacrilegious thing I can say while living in France , aka the country of cheese . It was like saying I didn 't Guinness while in Ireland - - I 'm a little worried the inhabitants will kick me out . Revoke my visa . However , my friends won 't be surprised to hear that I 'm slightly obsessed with cheese . English cheeses that is . French cheeses , while I haven 't tried all of them , goodness who has , tend to be far too strong for my taste . And France , non - surprisingly , doesn 't sell English cheeses really . Aside from a bit of cheddar from a nice friend a couple weeks ago , it has been three long months since I last ate cheddar . Sometimes I think I have a calcium deficiency to amount of times a day I crave cheddar cheese . Hopefully I 'll be able to eat cheddar before I get back to the US - - Michelle and I leave Thursday for London . They better have cheddar cheese . C ' est tout ! Just a few differences between France / US . It 's probably a good thing they exist . Otherwise I might just stay in France forever . Like I mentioned above , Michelle and I are flying to London - - 45 min flight ! great thing about Europe , everything 's so close - - on Thursday to visit the great city and some friends : ) Stay tuned to read about our British adventures . Thanks so much for reading ! Posted by Yesterday , as I was walking home from class it started to lightly snow . It took a while before it began to accumulate , just a powder sugar dusting on the still - green grass . The weather channel said it would snow an inch or so that night , so when I went to bed I eagerly waited to see what morning would look like . When I woke up , I couldn 't believe the amount of snow that had magically appeared outside of my window . It was easily more snow than Jonesboro receives in five winters combined . It was surreal walking to school . I had a feeling that I wouldn 't have class when I finally trekked to my building . The roads were nearly impossible , and a beautiful strange silence lay alongside the freshly fallen snow . I felt like I was walking in a strange winter wonderland which has previously only existed in the tv . I didn 't have class - - turns out the public transportation was down , which meant that 75 % of my class and my teacher weren 't able to make it . After this pleasant surprise some friends and I headed out to walk around town , marveling over the quickly falling snow , before stopping for a much need warm coffee . It was surprisingly busy out on the main street . Local schools seemed to be out and everyone was out as though the foot of snow piling up around them was no big deal . Almost every store was open ; people were driving , or attempting to drive on the narrow , often times steep , now icy roads , which more times than not resulted in stalled cars halfway up a hill . Oscar 's was a little restaurant next to our hostel . We went there every morning for breakfast - - not only were their scones / muffins to die for , the atmosphere was amazing . They had an eclectic mix of huge armchairs surrounding little tables . After another delicious breakfast we walked to the zoo . It was a slightly chilly , sunny day - - the zoo was sparsely populated with young families . The zoo was a lovely medium sized zoo - - I really liked their Africa section ; the giraffes were adorable . It was really cool to watch them dash across their enclosure . I can 't imagine what it would have been like to be an European explorer seeing the African planes for the first time . The giraffes have such an awkwardly large body but they run with surprising grace . The light was just gorgeous in the wolf enclosure - - this photo is completely unedited , which is a rarity for me . After the zoo , we stopped in a little pub for a quick lunch and plotted our afternoon . We wanted to see an old castle that was supposedly easy to reach . Our guide book didn 't offer anything more than ' take bus 42 from city center ' . I would just like to make a little side note to explain that the city center of Dublin is about the size of a good size town in Arkansas . I would also like to a take a second to rant about the impossible Dublin public transportation system . Even after asking for directions twice , it still took maybe an hour and half to find the bus stop for bus 42 . Not that this ' stop ' was labeled . Or had a map . Or any useful information . It was just a little yellow pole . We got on the bus , telling the driver exactly what stop we were going to get off at - - in Dublin how far you are going dictates how much you pay - - and then settled down for a surprisingly stressful 30 min . There was no map on the bus to tell us how many stops were before our stop . None of the stops we stopped at were labeled . I also had very little coins on me - - and you have to pay exact fare - - so if we got lost it would be expensive to try and get back to the city . Eventually the houses gave way to trees and I feared our stop had been one of the many little yellow poles we had already paused at . I inched my way to the front and asked the driver when our stop was , he kindly said it was the next one . If he hadn 't told us specifically , we would have never gotten off at the righIt was a cute little castle overlooking an impressive lawn . We quickly made our way to the ticket office , glad to get out off the cold rain . However , when we tried to buy tickets to see the castle we were informed that since it was Halloween the castle was closed , running only children 's scary tours , which were completely booked . However , the gardens were still open . So , after a coffee break as we let the rain peter out , we walked through the gardens . I never wanted to get on a Dublin bus again , so we followed the signs to a train station that was next to the castle . The only sign offering help at the train station was a piece of paper on the wall that had an arrow pointing to the right labeled DUBLIN . However , after several helpful people , we somehow managed to get on the train heading to Dublin . With free wifi on the train we both were quickly on the phone with friends / family back home ; ah the miracles of technology . And thus ends day 2 ! It didn 't go exactly as planned , but neither did day 3 ; ) stay tuned to see how the best laid plans of mice and men went ! Thanks for reading : ) Posted by Dublin : The Beginning It was a warm summer day . Our coffees lay discarded on the table as we dreamily browsed through the travel books . ' We should backpack through Europe . ' I said , the words representing nothing more than a hazily defined dream . Diamond just laughed . We became friends when we met in jazz band in 8th grade , when Diamond decided that I , friendless and introverted , wasn 't as weird as she had previously thought . But traveling through Europe ? Our educational system had equipped us with just enough knowledge to point to a couple European countries on a map - - I dreamed of the excitement of foreign cultures and languages . However , we were just two girls from Arkansas - - all we were currently worried about was homework , and figuring out what college to apply to . Traveling through Europe , staying in hostels - - it was all just a far fetched dream , one that would , in all reality , probably never be realized . Concrete obstacles , such as time and money , stood firmly in the way of that crazy wish . That is , until the stars aligned , and somehow Diamond and I found ourselves both studying abroad in Europe . Granted , we were almost the furthest away two people can be and still be in Europe - - me in France and her in Estonia . However , when I started planning my week long break , I remembered the dream we had had several years ago . Who knew when this opportunity would come up again , so we picked our dream location , Dublin , Ireland , and started working on achieving that dream . On Tuesday , October 29th , we set off for Dublin . Diamond had a direct flight from the capital of Estonia . I wasn 't as lucky - - it was almost a two hour trek to the nearest airport , with a tram and two trains - - flying first to Frankfort , where I had a long three hour layover before a flight to Dublin . Finding our hostel was . . . an adventure . We took a tour bus into the city , but missed our stop because we forgot to hit the button to ask to stop . We stumbled off on the next stop , pulling our maps out and trying to figure out what was what in the dark streets . It was cold and windy and we wandered around for maybe an hour , having no luck for finding the mysterious street where our hostel was on . Eventually we found the hostel - - turns out , we had walked right by it about ten minutes after getting off the bus but we had somehow missed the huge signs and bright lights . The hostel was huge , with a cool bar / lounge area / mini - restaurant on the ground floor . It had a great atmosphere with the added benefit of me not feeling guilty when I hung out without buying a drink ; it was our hostel , after all . Our room , a 8 - bed mixed sex dormitory style , was on the second floor . For the first couple of days our roommates were reserved , and we didn 't see much of them . It felt like someone was always asleep in the room so we didn 't hang out much there . Aside from a little issue - - let 's just say that the hostel got a bit too creative with their men / women bathroom symbols , apparently writing men / women is just too mainstream but we don 't need to expound upon that - - the hostel was a fun , cheap housing option . Our first full day in Dublin was spent exploring downtown in a search for the National Museum of Archaeology . The museum was as cool as the name sounds . But on our way to the museum we spotted a cool looking national library so we decided to check it out . After the museum , we set off to find Christchurch Cathedral . Finding it wasn 't that difficult , getting in , however , was . We walked in one of the doors only to see an ' exit only ' sign . So , we circled the entire church for the next 15 minutes looking for any other entrance , and not finding anything . Eventually we returned to the first door and realized that the entrance was exactly opposite of the exit sign . Hello everyone ! I 'm currently a third year graduate student getting PhD in Physics , specializing in biophysics . : ) This blog will hopefully not be a documentation of my descent into madness . View my complete profile
|
Not many people know , that I , Eevie Lawson , have a problem . An addiction . To Romance novels . I eat them for breakfast . I hide it the best I can , but I need them . To breathe . It 's how I cope . " Wes , I don 't know what you want me to say here . " Royal 's voice is broken . Maybe he is broken . Maybe I broke him . Lord knows I 'm broken myself . " Don 't say anything . " I start off with . There are so many things I want to tell him . The one thing I want him to know , that I want him , I will never say aloud . " When push comes to shove , Royal , you 'll break me . I 'd never be the same after you . I 'd be a shell of this girl . " His face pales but he doesn 't step away . Something I had planned on . His hands caress my face before he says , " You have that wrong , Wesley . You 'll be the one to break me . " Wesley Bridges was lost between the living and the dead . She was clinging to her boyfriend , who passed away unexpectedly . She was left with having no way to move on . Her best friends , Annabella and Pierce were to caught up to save her . Even her family turned a blind eye , not able to bare her grief . Then one day , Royal Sanders walked into her life . Tall , dark and sinfully handsome but aren 't all the unattainable ones ? At first it was nothing . She was asked to tutor him and found he 's different then even she thought . She even turned to Royal when things got too hard . And when she falls for him , she falls hard . But Royal 's the enemy . A long drawn out hatred brews between her friends and Royal 's . That doesn 't seem important to her , considering she 's still in love with her dead boyfriend . A love triangle between life and death … who will win ? Grief is a powerful emotion but there are several different kinds of grief . Betrayal and heartache are still knocking on her door . Things are about to come crashing down around her . It will definitely break her , but will Royal be enough to save her ? When I wake up later that afternoon , I can 't help myself I kiss Royal . It might be a little creepy , but I don 't care . His handsome face is relaxed in sleep , so I lean in and press my lips against his . My hand rises up and pushes through his silkily locks . When his tongue snakes out and licks at my closed ones , I groan , not realizing he was awake . " That 's a way to wake a guy up , Duchess . " He whispers his voice low and full of promise . His tongue enters my mouth when I open my mouth to reply . It duals with mine , seeking dominance and I let him have it . He breaks away from me , breathing hard and shallow . Something in his eyes sets my entire body on fire . Before I know it I 'm taking my t - shirt off , leaving me only in my pink bra and jeans . " Fuck , " he groans closing his eyes and throwing his head back against the headboard . His hands glide up and down my sides and I smile a secret smile , getting off on the power . When those hands stop at the back of my bra , I know things are about to get real . I should say something to stop it , but I don 't . After the talk we had earlier , I 'm about to throw my heart at Royal and never look back . Though I 'm not quite there yet . My bra comes off quickly and that 's when he opens his eyes , taking in my exposed breasts . He doesn 't speak , but he does lift his head to suck on nipple into his mouth . Now my eyes close and I open my legs to straddle his hips . He 's already hard and I grind against it , loving the friction . When he switches to the other nipple , flicking it hard with his tongue , I decide that 's not my favorite part of sex . " You feel like heaven , " I gasp , my hips grinding even harder . His start to lift up making the sensation even better . Okay that 's my favorite part . I live in southern Arkansas with my husband and young daughter . There is also an insane Boston Terrier running around . I 've always been a lone wolf and find my friends in books . I started writing at a young age and I haven 't stopped since . Most days you can find me either glued to my laptop or my kindle . My first novel , This Beautiful Thing was an Amazon best seller for 11 weeks and a year later I 'm still tickled to see people enjoy it . I may not be a huge seller but I have the best fans ever and I thank God everyday for every single one of them . Henry Maximus is a super - hero - loving geek and proud of it . He 's also a genius when it comes to business . It 's how he earned the title of CEO of Maximus Gaming … not to mention the billions of dollars in his bank account . Henry 's tried living the life of a bachelor , but a different girl every night has left him wanting more . Needing more . Aubrey Vincent is in love with her job . She 'll love it even more if she lands the promotion that gets her out of her parent 's attic . She loves it so much that she has no time for relationships , not that she was ever very good at them to begin with . Aubrey is perfectly happy with the random , nameless men she picks up at the bar . After a brief encounter with Aubrey on a business trip , Henry packs his bags and moves back to the small town where he grew up . Aubrey 's town . Aubrey attempts to find her way into Henry 's bed , while he tries everything to get into her heart . Will Henry 's plan to break down the walls Aubrey has built around her heart work or will his unbelievable million dollar offer scare her away ? Growing up , Adrianne couldn 't get her hands on enough books to satisfy her need for the make believe . If she finished a novel and didn 't have a new one ready and waiting for her , she began to create her own tales of magic and wonder . Now , as an adult , books still make up majority of her free time , and now her tales get written down to be shared with the world . Vanessa Smith has her heart guarded . She 's been married to a man that sleeps around and has made her think she 's ugly and undeserving . Everything changes when she is knocked down by the famous basketball player , Jackson Berrios . A friendship ensues and everything she thought she knew about men turns out to be wrong . Mags McManus has just become a war widow in her mid - twenties . Her late husband , Randy , left for the Army right after their wedding . Instead of celebrating his homecoming and living in marital bliss with her soulmate , Mags finds herself living in constant agony . Dealing with the guilt of still living without Randy , are Randy 's best friends and parents . Rising from the ashes of this tragedy , Mags starts to learn how to love and trust again , finally being able to find happiness . But sometimes things really are too good to be true and again Mags learns how cruel the world can be as she crashes back down . Kristen Hope Mazzola is an up and coming independent author from sunny South Florida . Crashing Back Down is her debut into the literary world . Kristen is currently working on the rest of her Crashing Series , which will include a sequel , Falling Back Together , and a prequel , Walking Away . She even has a few more tricks up her sleeve , with more characters to introduce and more twists to unravel , so keep your eye on this talented young author ! When Kristen is not driving a pen into paper , she enjoys reading all different genres and fishing . " There is just something so magical about water and the calm it brings to my life , " says Kristen . Even though writing is not her only career she is pursuing , Kristen hopes to one day be a full time writer . Having a day job and a busy life , makes finding time for writing difficult , but anything worthwhile in life is difficult . Loving life , writing , and fishing basically make up her world . February 27 , 2014 · 10 : 30 am Promo ! Finding Us by Harper Bentley . Jag Jensen and Ellen Love had been best friends their whole lives until he turned thirteen and started noticing girls his own age , but that didn 't mean he stopped watching out for eleven - year - old Ellen . By his senior year in high school , baseball had taken the front seat in his life , with a scholarship to college and a pro career looming on the horizon , when sophomore Ellen caught his attention and they struck up their friendship again . Although Ellen wanted more , Jag didn 't want to drag her into what he knew would be a crazy life , but love has a way of deciding one 's future , and eventually they became a couple . Ellen followed him to California as he began his pro career , but his wild and hectic lifestyle screwed everything up . Now Jag is lost , realizing he 's never been without his best friend in his life . Learning to live without Ellen doesn 't settle well with him , so while trying to remain at the top of his career , he also wants to get his girl back , which proves to be more difficult than he thought it 'd be . Will Ellen give him another chance or does that sort of thing only happen in the sappy romance novels she always used to read ? Jag hopes she 's willing to try again as he puts his heart on the line for the woman he knows will always be his forever and a day . February 26 , 2014 · 5 : 21 pm Promo ! You 've Been Touched by t . h . snyder . Char and Riley have encountered pain and heartache in the past . They were sure that they would never meet someone that would heal their hearts and allow them to love again . Then , on an ordinary Sunday , a newspaper in a minimart changes their lives forever . Although they share a strong physical connection , they ultimately hunger for one another 's emotional touch . When I first met the love of my life , things may have started off a bit rocky , but he 's shown me what true love is . I now know what it feels like to be cherished and what my life will look like having my happily ever after . Together we 've had some struggles - what couple doesn 't go through highs and lows - but I wouldn 't want to have experienced any of it without him by my side . He is the most amazing man . My best friend , my one true love , and my soul mate . I can 't wait to see him later today and wrap my arms around him . Last night was one of the few nights we 've spent apart since the accident . At times he still treats me like I 'm broken , but I know he does it because he wants to keep me safe . Riley is everything to me , and today we get to make it official in front of our friends and family . AMAZON AMAZON AMAZON t . h . snyder ( 1979 ) was born in Allentown , Pennsylvania . For six years she worked in the field of higher education while earning her Bachelor and Master Degrees in Management from University of Phoenix . She 's a single mother to two children . She became an avid reader in spring of 2012 and since has read over 250 books . Her genre of interest ranges from Romance to thrilling Paranormal . This is more than just a hobby for her , it 's a passion to read the words of great authors and bring life to their stories with her reviews and character castings . She started writing her first novel in June of 2013 and is anxious to see where this journey takes her ! ! She 's also a sucker for Happily Ever After endings , so no matter how dark her stories get , fear not ! It always all works out in the end . Please God , don 't let him recognize me . Emily stood before Paul , facing him . " Hey , hot guy , " she said in a low , sultry purr . " Where can a girl sit if she wants to join you ? " She placed her hands on her waist and crooked a leg in a provocative catwalk model pose . Paul gazed up at her , with interest and amusement sparkling in his light hazel eyes . Those eyes of his had always entranced her . Just now , they looked chocolate brown , but in sunlight or a well - lit setting , Paul 's irises were a beautiful bright green near the pupil . His eyebrows rose into an arch as she looked down at him . The corners of his mouth lifted as a slow smile curled his lips . Emily 's breath hitched when a nearly tangible frisson of attraction passed between them . Her mind went blank as every brain cell she had seemed to disappear . Evidently , said brain cells had been replaced by rampant female hormones , all exuberantly singing , " Take me ! Take me ! Take me ! " For a moment , Emily totally forgot the part she was supposed to be playing , as electric jolts of joy and pleasure rolled through her , making her skin tingle . All the years of desire she 'd bottled up inside , popped open and exploded , spraying like shaken , uncorked champagne . Was it the alcohol that made her whole body flush and her head swim ? Or was it just Paul ? She felt drunk , intoxicated by the scent , sight , sound and feel of him . He smelled so good . Hot , muscular and male . An all - consuming need for him spiked through her in an instant of sharp arousal . It was as if a bolt of lightning struck her , right between her legs , smack into her womb . Her body heated and pulsed ; her breasts ached and her nipples hardened , their taut peaks brushing against her lacy bra . Until that moment she 'd been unaware of any friction between the lace and her sensitive nipples . Then when she became older , and her body became flooded with hormones , she really noticed him . He was tall , and strong and handsome . And he had that sexy smile that somehow made her melt inside . Paul had been the object of her every sexual fantasy - from the first time she ever had a sexual fantasy , for as long as she could remember . Emily stared at him , frozen into stillness by his intense gaze . The velvet timbre of his voice was deep and so incredibly mellow . It was the same voice that she loved to listen to all of her life - except that now it had a sexy , seductive tone to it . Dazed and aroused , Emily 's lips parted . For a moment she honestly couldn 't recall how to speak . Remembering how to breathe seemed to be problematic , too . There was a long pause while she tried to right her universe that had tilted so dramatically . Thank , God ! He doesn 't recognize me , Emily thought with relief . But I hardly recognize him , either - not from the way he 's acting toward me . Charismatic , seductive , Paul was a man that she 'd never met before , but holy hell ! She sure planned to get to know this Paul better . Intimately , in fact . Paul had been Emily 's first teenage crush , but she 'd never gotten over him . After all those years , throughout everything , Emily 's infatuation for her brother 's best friend had never once wavered . She 'd had boyfriends over the years , and wasn 't an innocent , but Paul remained her only love . Now , even after three years without seeing him , the familiar pull of her attraction toward him was still there , stronger than ever . Paul 's eyes narrowed as he studied her , slowly starting at her toenails ( which were red from a recent pedicure ) . His hungry gaze appreciatively slid up her legs , then drank in her torso . Emily 's breath caught , and her nipples tightened when his vision lingered caressingly on her breasts . Finally his eyes stopped and focused on her lips . Was he going to kiss her ? Paul 's intense scrutiny made her shiver with a strange combination of apprehension and lust . Signs of Emily 's arousal were obvious to anyone who cared to look . Her skin was flushed , her breathing shallow and rapid , lips parted , eyes wide . She was drunk with arousal . Emily figured that Paul could spot a horny girl a mile away . It was a talent that had served him well , if the rumors about him were true . Just now , he couldn 't miss the throbbing puddle of aching desire sitting on his lap . For what seemed like forever , Emily had concealed her powerful yearning for Paul . How could she hide it now , when the warmth of his body overwhelmed her senses , seeping into her bones , her mind , and soul ? But tonight she was Candy , and there was no reason to hide . Paul stroked her hypersensitive skin with rough fingers , tracing along the contours of her calf , running up past her knee , and boldly moving under her skirt to mid - thigh . Emily 's eyes widened as she became aware of Paul 's interest , in the form of the rigid length of his erection pressed against her hip . His hand moved confidently , calloused and warm . It gripped her thigh with firm possession . Like that thigh belonged to him . She stared at Paul , devouring him with her eyes . Trying to calm her rapid heartbeat , Emily forced her gaze to Paul 's friend . The man 's ancestry clearly originated from India , but he had a British accent . Maybe he 'd been born in the UK ? Observing the position of Paul 's hand up her skirt , Jai 's mouth twitched , curving into a knowing grin . His teeth were very white against his dark skin . " Yes , thank - you , " she murmured . The plan was to limit her replies to breathy , whispered comments , to prevent Paul from recognizing her voice . " A margarita , please . " Paul easily caught the attention of a waitress despite how packed the place was . The woman hurried to his table to take his order , fawning all over him , like a peasant to a king . This was no surprise to Emily . Quarterback and track star with perfect grades , he 'd been voted as ' Most likely to Succeed ' in High School . Paul had always been in command of himself and everyone around him . Where did all that self - assurance come from ? Good looks ? High IQ ? Physical health and fitness ? Take your pick . Emily just wished that she had half of his natural , easy confidence . It certainly added to his allure , making him even more attractive . It was as if Paul had a gravity of his own . People seemed to revolve around him like planets , caught up in his powerful magnetic pull . " Hungry ? " Paul asked , gesturing to the generous spread of Mexican fare on the table . He spoke with a quiet intensity that made her focus all her attention on him . She was proud of herself with that answer . Regaining her slutty experienced persona and confirming her interest was important . It was true , anyway . Right now , Emily couldn 't eat a thing - unless it was Paul . He was a feast for her senses . Overwhelmed , she looked away . It was all she could do to sit still . Emily wanted to writhe with nerves . Raw lust roared through her in a steady urgent wave . Her skin , her nerve endings , her entire body was hypersensitive . She longed to kiss him , to lick his hard male abs , and run her hands all over his body . She felt empty , needy and desperate . Dazedly , she lifted her head and met his gaze . Candy swallowed , hard . His eyes flared and darkened . Her chest went tight in response . This was Paul , the man she had adored for as long as she could remember . The man she loved , and always would . There was nothing that she wouldn 't do for him … or to him , for that matter ! Whatever he wanted . Gently he bit the meaty flesh , just under her thumb . Emily was unable to hold back a moan . His sensual lips twitched into an eloquent smile at her response . Paul knew exactly what he was doing . Stroking , caressing , he kissed where he 'd caused that sharp bite of sensation . Then he began to play with her fingers , tracing the length of them with his hand and mouth . Sensual and seductive , he teased and toyed with her hand . The stubble on his face brushed against her skin and she jerked as a blast of sensation coursed through her like an electric current . God dammit , his every touch was so erotic ! A strange roaring began in her ears . She heard a whimper when he pressed his lips to her inner wrist in a soft kiss ; it sounded like it came from someone else . Unexpectedly , he licked and then nipped her there . It hurt - but it didn 't . It was so much more than pain . Lightning struck once more , only this time incandescent heat speared in a direct line from her wrist to her feminine core . Holy shit ! Liquid warmth pooled low in her belly . Her slick channel clenched and a rush of moisture trickled between her thighs . Emily didn 't think that she had ever been so aroused , and he had barely touched her . Already she was prepared to spread her legs for him right here and right now , on this table , the floor , his lap or wherever he wanted . The set of Paul 's jaw firmed but his eyes were bright as he examined her in a triumphant , measured gaze . His calloused hand returned to her leg , slowly skimming over her skin , moving higher up her skirt than before . This time , as he gripped her thigh , he stretched two fingers out - so that the tips of them pressed softly against her drenched panties . Paul moved his magical fingers back and forth , back and forth with a feather light touch along her damp , cloth covered flesh . Her breath began to hitch in little gasps of desire . With a desperate whimper she arched toward him . A low moan escaped her lips as he pressed the cloth of her panties deep into her wet folds . " You 're a needy little thing , aren 't you ? " he observed in a soft , seductive voice . His face remained dispassionate while those clever digits of his continued to tease and probe . " Just my kind of woman . I know what you want , " he murmured with husky confidence . " If you 're a good girl , I 'll give you exactly what you need . " OhGodohGodohGod ! Her cheeks flushed with heat . Emily 's margarita went down quickly . She 'd spent months arranging this meeting . Her current persona , Candy , had a full imaginary background , including siblings , a job , a home and even her own email address . Emily had carefully compartmentalized the two personalities . It was the only way she could pull this off . Yet already , she was off balance , confused and lost . Her senses whirled , her breasts grew heavy and between her legs her swollen flesh throbbed . Who was she ? Was she still playing a role ? Candy and Emily seemed like the same person right now , both burning from a raging tide of desire . Emily was no virgin , but she was pretty choosy when it came to getting naked with anyone . She 'd always enjoyed the closeness of kissing and cuddling as she suspected most women did . Who didn 't have a natural desire for intimacy ? For physical and emotional connection ? The problem for Emily had always been that no matter who she slept with , or even when pleasuring herself - if she climaxed it was because she imagined being with Paul . " Do you want me , Candy ? " Paul whispered into her ear , his hot breath moving over her skin , causing a delicious tingling sensation along the nape of her neck . " Because I want you . Right now . " Staring at her hands in her lap , Emily nervously swallowed . She couldn 't speak . Instead she nodded , almost shyly . She was out of character , but somehow coming across slutty in answer to such a blindingly obvious question just couldn 't be done . Did she want him ? Hell , yes ! More than she 'd ever wanted anything . Paul cupped her chin and tipped up her face , gazing at her in a determined expression . Eyes darkening , they captured hers . Emily wanted to look away from such burning intensity , but she couldn 't . A kick of fear and arousal slammed into her as his power and dominance overwhelmed her senses . She felt exposed and vulnerable to his intense , scrutiny . Could he see right through her ? " Good girl , " he murmured with a slight smile , as he released her from his penetrating gaze . " I like a woman who knows what she wants . " He laughed then , a light , joyous sound . " Candy . I can 't even imagine anything sweeter than what I have right here in my lap . Can you , Jai ? " Paul said , glancing up at his friend . " Jai and I have just come off a boat . Neither of us have enjoyed the company of a woman for a while . " Emily knew that already ; she 'd been waiting for him . Paul had signed on as crew for a number of small boats , travelling to incredible places , working odd jobs , and doing so many interesting things . She was jealous because he was footloose , and had no responsibilities . But why was he including Jai in his " company of a woman , " comment ? Paul 's breath whispered , once more , seductive and warm over her ear . His arms tightened around her . One big palm lightly grazing the outer edge of her breast in lazy , sensual strokes . Emily shut her eyes , overwhelmed by the incredible sensation of it . What ? Emily 's mind blanked while she processed what Paul said . It took a fraction of a second before she understood , but then she stiffened and her eyes flew to Jai 's face . She couldn 't have been more stunned if a bucket of ice water had been thrown over her . A threesome ? Really ? God no ! Emily was sexually experienced , but not with that kind of experience . For the love of God , how would that work ? Her , Paul and Jai , all having sex together ? At the same time ? Paul wanted that ? Yikes ! What else did he want ? " Candy , " Paul said . She immediately met his gaze , complying instantly and instinctively to his unspoken command . " Jai and I are good together . We know exactly how to please a woman . You have no idea what you 'd be missing out on . If you haven 't had a threesome , now is the time to try it . " He stared at her with open lust . Emily swallowed hard . " I 'm sorry . Maybe next time , " she paused and added , " or later tonight ? " No way , she thought , but they didn 't need to know that . " What I really want is you . " She gave an intentionally light shrug and forced a laugh . " There 's a long night ahead of us . Who knows how it will end ? " " Not as experienced as you look , are you , little Candy ? " Paul said with a knowing smile . " Never mind . " He grasped her waist and effortlessly set her on her feet . Then he stood up . The bulge in his jeans was impressive . " Do you have a room , or shall I get one of my own ? " The emotion behind her joyous smile wasn 't forced or fake . Candy and Emily were the same person now . Both desperate , greedy and more than ready . It was liberating not to have to hide her desire , to show Paul how she felt about him - even if he didn 't know that she was Emily . Shifting restlessly , Emily swallowed . Orgasms didn 't usually come easy for her , not without serious foreplay . But just now she wondered if she 'd peak screaming , the moment Paul touched her . She was so primed and hot for him . " Don 't worry about me , " Jai said , surveying the mass of young women in the Cantina . " I won 't be lonely . Send me a text . I 'll come to you , if I 'm not otherwise engaged . " Jai 's accent was sexy . The white flash of his grin was boyishly charming . The combination was devastating . Emily knew that the man would hook - up with ease . Paul pulled her body possessively against his , stroked her hair and trailed his hand down to her lower back . His touch was electrifying . Emily took in a deep steadying breath , trying to keep it together until they were alone . Picking up his duffel , he said , " Ready ? " There was no mistaking the gleam in his eyes . He fully intended to bury himself deep inside her . Soon . Raw need clawed at her . She shivered with the just thought of it . " Yes , I 'm ready , " Emily said . Another understatement . She 'd been waiting her whole life for this . Now , it was all coming together . Sex . Scratching her never - ending itch . Getting fucked by Paul Jarman - hopefully all night long . Her strategy was moving along perfectly , exactly as she planned . February 25 , 2014 · 3 : 00 pm Release Day ! I 'll Take A Chance by Annalisa Nicole . Amelia Wellington is a quiet , young , successful business woman . Her past relationships have left her with scars so deep she has sworn off men all together . Until that one fateful day she quite literally runs into Doctor Kyle Peters , that is . Will Running Into Love be enough for them to find a happily ever after together ? Does Kyle have what it takes to heal Amelia 's broken heart and change her outlook on life ? Will Kyle 's past result in tragedy as history repeats itself ? I am an " Indie " adult contemporary romance author . I am a wife and a stay at home mom . I have been married to my wonderful husband since 1996 . I love being a stay at home mom to our two teenage boys . We have a handful of pets , a dog named Lucy ( who is in my books ) , a guinea pig named Flufy , ( my son spells her name that way ) and a cat named meow - meow , who adopted us many years ago and has never left . I never liked reading as a kid and I only started reading romance novels in the past few years . Soon I couldn 't get enough of them . My Kindle and I are inseparable now . A thought occurred to me in December of 2012 that maybe I could write a romance novel . So I went to work with the encouragement of my husband and my sister - in - law . It didn 't take long to figure out that I really enjoyed writing . I entered my book in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest in January of 2013 . Needless to say my three hundred word pitch didn 't even make it through the first round . My book never even got read . So now what do you do with a 50 , 000 + word book ? With more encouragement by my wonderful family I decided to self - publish it . So here I am today a self - published author . It has been a lot of hard work but I wouldn 't change a single thing . It has not been an easy road and there has been a lot of self - doubt , but I stuck with it and I wouldn 't change a thing . I 've been blessed to have been put in contact with some amazing people that have supported and encouraged me every step of the way . FACEBOOK / GOODREADS / TWITTER / WEBSITE February 25 , 2014 · 12 : 39 pm Release Day ! Runaway Love by Amber Nation . Cover was designed by Rachel Mizer with Shoutlines Design * * This book is intended for a mature reading audience and isn 't suitable for readers under the age of 18 . * * Maggie Walker yearns for the one thing she 's never truly felt : love . After years of rejection and abandonment , the shy and timid Nurse found that running felt right and provided her with the solitude she needed to avoid the haunting memories of her past . Keeping to her routines and having complete control of her life , made things easier , but not more exciting . When chance steps in , it throws the unexpected in her path in the form of a handsome stranger named Charlie . Charlie Hennings lives under the pressure of expectation . When forced to follow in his father 's footsteps as an FBI Agent , he left behind part of himself and the chance to embrace his dreams , which included settling down and starting a family . When his latest endeavor lands him in an undercover position in Brown County , he never expects to find the one person he couldn 't live without , who also ironically ends up being directly connected to his current assignment . Throughout their journey , Charlie makes it his personal mission to help Maggie break out of her shell and convince her that she deserves all the love in the world . But when Charlie 's lies are brought to light regarding his job , will it destroy everything they 've been working toward ? Can Maggie overlook his deceit and let herself experience these new feelings of love or will she just runaway from it all ? She narrowed her eyes at me , as I shifted my car again . I quickly flashed my orthodontist induced smile and fluttered my eyelashes to try and soften the blow I knew I was about to ensue . It always worked when Toby fluttered his lashes to the girls , so it would work in this situation too , right ? " You are such a smartass , " she yelled as she sucker punched me in the arm . And although I would never tell , it actually stung a little bit . She packed a hell of a punch . But , her feisty attitude was hot as hell though . WordPress . com Orchard Book Club · Books ripe for the picking … . . join us in discussions about our latest & favorite books . Got a book you want reviewing then drop us an email at orchardbookclub @ yahoo . co . uk Blog at WordPress . com . Post to
|
Slavery is slavery and where it exists in the world today I think it should probably not be referred to as , " a modern form of slavery . " as it seems to at least in my mind soften its perceived horror . The case could be made ( again - to my mind ) that in some ways it 's worse than just calling it what it is - slavery . Today everyone knows it is a barbaric practice making the people who are slaves predicament seem even more hopeless and horrifying and less likely to motivate others to try and stop the practice . Combat in Syria . I 'm not saying I would be afraid to fight those guys but they 're good . There is a bit too much of spray and pray shooting for my taste but I wasn 't there seeing what they 're seeing - that may have been all they could do without getting their heads blown off . Take a high fenced area of say 800 acres and place a deer with HD POV and panoramic cameras . Release said deer into high fenced area on opening day so there is a point of view from the deer 's perspective when it is shot . I wonder what that would do to the hunting debate ? The main reason dirigibles are not more widely used is because of the Hindenburg zeppelin incident and the resultant images that are burned into mans brain . Where am I going with this you say - that event would make the perfect case for their non use - right ? No , modern air ships are very safe and efficient making the comparison with what could be done today and that sad day a hundred years ago strange if nothing else . It 's irrational for that reel to start rolling when the word dirigible or the phrase lighter than air is used . Why doesn 't Titanic come to mind collectively when a Carnival Cruise Lines commercial airs ? " I know a lot of us have had a lot of anger , a lot of questions , a lot of uncertainty , " he said . " Tonight 's a celebration , a celebration of the elk . We loved him . But I think he loved us , too , because he returned to this neighborhood . " And another quote from the same article " People live here because we love the wildlife , " said Esther Parson , who lives in the foothills west of Boulder . " To murder an animal who feels like he 's part of the neighborhood is despicable . " Boulder Daily Camera . I don 't remember the context , I 'm sure I was going to make a point when I drafted this but it boiled down to : an elk died and anthropomorphic people cried . I haven 't done it in years but was asked recently if I knew how to cook and if I had a special recipe for fried catfish . Here it goes : Use only fresh peanut oil . On fresh fillets place sea salt , fresh ground black pepper and chili powder . Roll the fillets in a 50 / 50 mixture of flour and cornmeal . Then dip in eggs and roll back into the corn meal / flour mix . When the fillets are golden and the bubbling of the oil has settled down they 're ready . Set them out on some thick layers of paper towels and voila ! You are a comfort food genius . As a bonus try using real mayo in place of the eggs . Oh , and when you say fillet , mispronounce it as it is spelled - fillet . I don 't know why it makes it better but it does . Plus , it doesn 't sound so French . Yes , I know fillet comes from an OE word but who would want to take the chance ? When I was a kid I read about spontaneous human combustion and spent weeks terrified I would well , combust spontaneously . Kevin keep up ! I can 't mommmm - I 'm hot ! I might spontaneously combust ! I was sort of a goob . I won 't say when I go to a hospice cases house it 's always a matter of , When things go wrong they call me and in case you 're wondering things have indeed gone wrong , but sometimes that 's the case . They do call me when other nurses aren 't working out and tell me so when the case is offered . Tricky - one of Bristols finest doing Excess . If it sounds familar , you 've probably seen the movie 13 Ghosts . If the singer looks familiar you 've probably seen The Fifth Element ( one of the best sci fi movies ever ) . Well , enjoy - it 's a terrible performance he makes some mistakes and he seems to be skulled out on something but , I like it anyway . It 's a character defect in me really - I 'm much too forgiving . I hope you dig it . R . E . M . Everybody hurts . I saw an old picture of Michael Stipe this morning with loooooong hair . How did I forget he once had hair ? During the run up to Clinton 's ban supposedly Colt ramped up a third shift for the first time since the Vietnam war hundreds of thousands ( at least ) of guns ended up in circulation that would not have been otherwise . It is the same now but people who may have never bought one , people not that into guns are buying them . More people are beaten to death every year than are murdered by rifles . During the debate prior to Clinton 's ban if you asked any cop they essentially never saw a so called assault weapon on the street . They were too hard to conceal - they were too expensive and were harder to obtain illegally than other guns . I doubt you could prove a single crime was prevented with that ban . Interestingly to a man , cops would say they saw way more so called Saturday night specials - cheap . 25 , . 380 and . 9 mm pistols . Surprisingly , in my area at least city and county cops would tell me they saw a lot of . 22 caliber rifles used or carried in cars to be used for no good . The butt stocks would be cut off to form a pistol grip . It is tiresome to hear politicians and now sometimes police talk about the Second Amendment and reference hunting - really , it is bizarre . It was written to elucidate the right of the people to overthrow a government that has become tyrannical . It was understood people would need to be armed to be able to form militias to repel invasions and to prevent the government from being tyrannical . If the amendment is offensive to people they should change it . It is not about hunting or shooting skeet . The good thing about the Second Amendment that is often seems forgotten is it 's very presence may cause it to be unnecessary to use it - it should give politicians pause to know the people may have the means at their disposal to overthrow an oppressive government . But again - if people don 't like it they should change it . A headline this morning was " Sweeping new gun legislation proposed " . The related video had the President nearly in tears speaking in front of an audience including Newtown parents . Behind him sat schoolchildren who had written him about gun control . The talking head said truly to the effect , The President spent more time near tears emotionally trying to gather support than he did laying out plans . . . Maybe I 'm weird - but I prefer legislation that might actually accomplish some useful end not something that makes me feel good and I don 't need a President trying to get sympathy votes by bawling . Bad situations lead to bad laws and rank emotionalism leads to terrible decisions . Hey that is pretty good and I just made it up off the top of my head . feel free to use it - just credify me . Fear the government that fears your guns . Dictators love unarmed peasants . . . I 've never felt like this before but I can 't think of a single gun nut bumper sticker that doesn 't seem prescient right now . If you 're not wondering , What 's next ? or Who is next ? you 're high or otherwise oblivious . I 've been at the same job for a little over a year now . My taxes have gone up and I now bring home much less money than I did just a couple of weeks ago . I was already paying too much in taxes AND having more than the minimum taken out to make sure I didn 't have to pay more during tax time and now I 'm bringing home less money ? ! I cannot reconcile this to my sense of fairness or common sense nor can I rationalize it intellectually . Why bother to work - I mean really why ? Thank God they 're finally making those millionaires and billionaires pay their fair share . When President Obama looks like he want to vomit when he talks about millionaires and billionaires like they 're animal rapists am I the only one that remembers he is a multimillionaire ? Statistically so called gun violence happens in certain areas to certain groups of people . This is sad and terrible . It is awful and something should be done but when laws are made that will and can only affect the law abiding this is a sad admission of how terrible the problem is of our disadvantaged , disenfranchised people . It says Hey man , I 'm sorry we don 't know what to do for you folks that live in conditions that would make a Somali in Mogadishu shudder but we gotta do somethin ' that looks good to get all these wealthy white folks off our backs about the safety of their little snowflakes . . . It is 01 / 21 / 2013 and I 'm back to this rant . I am on the waiting list of 2 different gun stores for an M4 style carbine . I 'm number 110 on one and 10 on another - ridiculous . It is 01 / 27 / 2013 . Yesterday a guy from from one of the gun stores called to let me know they had received a few ARs in to resell . He offered me a late 80s production AR 15 for 1500 dollars or roughly 3 times what was paid for it new - ridiculous . 02 / 01 / 2013 It has recently been announced we are going to sell Egypt F16 fighters and M1 Abrams tanks . Sometimes what sounds like a good idea at the time will blow up in your face and come back to haunt you . Sometimes what sounds a great idea at the time turns out over time to be just that - a great idea . However , I think it is rare that something that sounded a bad idea at the time turns out to be a good one . This is a bad idea . It is a bad idea because it sounds like an awful idea right now - it doesn 't take sleeping on it , thinking it over , seeing how things turn out etc . It is a terrible idea that will have negative consequences for our allies if not the US directly . If nothing else - we will be paying to keep that equipment running . From providing them close air support in Libya to this bit of craziness , the Islamists are tired from lying awake laughing at us all night . If you need a good example of how awful our government is and how dumb congress can be , look no further than the Renewable Fuels Standard . It mandated a percentage of fuel made from plants be blended into gasoline . It makes food cost more , gasoline cost more , cars burn more fuel , it is harder on engines than fossil fuels , makes cars cost more and unless something has changed it is still transported by truck - which burn diesel . In the past it took 1 . 5 gallons of diesel to get a gallon of the ethanol fuel to market . 03022013 I have heard multiple of Maxine Water 's speeches and / or read the text of them . Try as I might , I can never even gather her meaning from them . She seems to just randomly string words together - big sounding words that I sense she does not really know the meaning . An interesting figure she threw out recently was the number of jobs that will be lost due to the sequester - 170 million . How bizarre , but poorly informed , ignorant people will eat that up and believe it . We are broke . We are broke and spending money as fast as we can print and / or borrow it and the news recently was we are giving Syrian rebels 60 million bucks in non lethal aid . First of all we already know Islamists are ascendant in those groups . Second , that is a drop in the bucket of what they would need to overthrow the government . It will not buy us any influence with them . Quite the opposite - it will make them mad in the long run , be made to be an insult and it will be used against us . When the President was asked if he had ever shot a gun he responded to the effect , Yep , we shoot skeet all the time at Camp David . What a liar . Good grief . 03102013 Speaking of liars and hypocrites , Mark Kelly Gabrielle Gifford 's husband got busted for buying an AR15 and a pistol after emotionally and publicly supporting gun control - esp for tactical style rifles . When pro gun people found out about the purchase he lied and said he did it to illustrate how easy it was to obtain those weapons here and he intended to turn them over to police . What a liar . I think I just had cerebral vascular accident so I 'll quit for now . I 'm going to hike the waist of pants up under my arm pits and go to the hospital . Thanks for reading and being my friend on the internets . Sometimes if I warm coffee in the microwave for 1 minute it will be scalding hot and other times OK to drink as soon as it comes out . It isn 't my imagination . My guess is it has to do with being placed slightly different in the oven and very small differences in amount of liquid making a bigger difference than I would have guessed . Zachary gave me a nice flashback the other day when he picked up a copy of the Texas hunting regulations booklet . When his brother was not quite two I started taking him duck hunting with me . I would drop him in a sleeping bag , throw it and my decoy bag over my shoulder , put my gun under my arm and away we would go to where we would set up . We would lie around , eat drink and doze in between his questions while waiting for the sun to come up . People are great I mean really - it is good to be around them and get to know new ones . They are why I have a job and have a job that I love but I have always needed alone time . Ever since I could I would slip off somewhere or stay up late or get up early just to be by myself . I just watched an old Joe Isuzu commercial comparing the Jeep Cherokee to the Trooper . The Cherokee was represented by an Indian on a pony in full war dress . When Joe says to the effect , Today I 'm going to compare the Trooper to the Cherokee . the Indian says , How ? There is not a chance the Syrian army used sarin as has been alleged to drag us into some more shenanigans we have no business involving ourselves in . The Assad regime may be monstrous and he the Devil himself but he isn 't stupid . They know as well as anybody - the only thing guaranteed to bring the whole world down on them would be to give the opposition fighters a chemistry lesson . The numbers being reported should also make us call bull - crap . They have at least been killing those kind of numbers per day - with bullets , tank rounds and artillery without bringing any heat down on themselves . As a bonus - maybe they weren 't exactly winning before the sarin news but they weren 't losing either . That makes me think they had no reason to use the gas and more likely everybody wanting to get involved would lie . We got home around 6 : 00 Monday evening . Holy smokes I was tired . I was so tired I couldn 't sleep - I would nod off and jerk awake . I took some Nyquil and I am not sure I moved for the next 8 hours . Old Tunnel Bat Cave park near Blanco was a hi lite of the trip . FG was the first to see the first bat fly out . Before it was over with we watched 300 thousand + emerge . By the end of the season there may be as many as 3 million bats there . As the name implies the tunnel was an old railroad tunnel that fell into disuse in the 40s . We found a Holiday Inn with one room available after searching for over an hour . We could have planned that better . At one point before we scored the Holiday Inn room I pulled up to a fleabag motel . Here is the conversation that followed : Oh Kevin . What is this ? We can 't do this . This place looks dangerous . We 've been looking for an hour and it is only going to get worse as people want to get off the road . It is either this or sleep in the car with one eye open in a Wal Mart parking lot . I replied . Kevin , It looks dangerous ! she said . Oh , I know that - you are going to get beat up and robbed and I 'm going to get raped - either way . You might as well get your head wrapped around that . You 've got that backwards Kevin . Whatever , the story ends with you sold into slavery and belly dancing for some perverted prince in Dubai - whether it starts here or a Wal Mart parking lot . There wasn 't a vacancy . The manager removed the dirty paper towel covering the No on the No Vacancy sign that was in the window as we were leaving . The crawdad festival in town was a lot of fun . They had some decent live Zydeco and a guy who brought out gators and snakes for demonstration . As we approached the gate I had a little sticker shock - especially as it looked rainy so we went and found sustenance . It poured for an hour closing down some vendors but most importantly the ticket booth . We went in for free and about 15 minutes later it was sunny . We sat at the bat emergence with a couple from San Antonio . They had met 20 years ago in Cali and got together 4 years ago through Facebook - aka The Devil . The first night they went out as teens they found their initials carved in a tunnel wall near a beach and saw it as a sign . He dropped hints he was awesome as he had been in Desert Storm . My guess is he fibbed about Desert Storm but I don 't know , maybe he was awesome . While we listened to the Zydeco I leaned back and looked up into the rafters and around at the people . There were 3 little girls daring each other to dance who finally formed a conga line and had a blast dancing around . FG was smiling . There was the requisite couple who dance unnaturally well and another who don 't realize how awfully they dance and wouldn 't care if it was pointed out to them . It smelled good - rain , seasoning from the cooking , cotton candy and cheap cologne . An elderly man got up and started dancing by himself . His wife is probably dead . A trashy girl got up and started dirty dancing with him . He didn 't care . Everybody smiled and pointed them out to their friends . I let out a Cajun yell , Ah yeeeeee ! FG laughed and smiled . And I thought , We will never be here again . Hello . I would like to trade a 2006 mustang gt for the removal or suction of an egg sized brain cyst . The Mustang Gt is white with gray leather interior . Tinted windows . AC , electric windows and seat . Automatic Transmission . Has all the bells and whistles , including a new DVD touch screen Deck , Shaker 500 sound and less than 40 , 000 on the odometer . The cyst is behind my right eyeball and looks fairly easy to get at . I 'd try to get at it myself , but I 've been trembling and had to bad of a headache to attempt any solo surgery . I don 't have insurance , but I have had the same job for the last 16 years . I need help but the system is hard to work through . $ 260 or more every time I talk to a Dr . And every Dr . I have talked to wants to take blood tests and prescribe drugs that have not helped . All my blood work over the last 3 years has been normal . The cyst is the only abnormal thing I have . I can borrow money and sell the car . I 'm using this ad as a last ditch attempt to get help . If you know a surgeon willing to look at my records , I will mail them and the DVD with 2 brain scans . I 'm going to loose everything if someone cant help me . I don 't want , and have been denied medicaid , because I want to work , but its getting harder to do the things I like to do . Thanks Posted by This morning ( 06122013 ) I awoke at 0111 . My first thought was , OmiGod I have to sleep ! I am going to go crazy . since I just knew it was probably more like 0545 . Is there anything better than that ? I wandered around the house , took a drink of ice water , checked on the kids , read for about 15 minutes and drifted off - content as a bug in a rug . On the day I have my picture made with my wife / GF / SO and a bunch of cats if you have any humanity at all - Will . Hunt . Me . Down . And . Kill Me . If I wanted to nit pick my mom 's rearing of me I could - I know I could , but I 've long realized she did the very best she could with what she had under a lot of very difficult circumstances . A lot of people have done far worse than she with much more resources . One thing that has meant more than I ever could have guessed in my life is she taught me to appreciate wildlife and the outdoors . Really , as messed up as things can be , I can get out and go fishing or just sit and watch the birds and other animals while listening to the wind in the trees and I usually can come away thinking that maybe everything will be OK . I gave a lot back to her through the years and without doing so , I simply cannot imagine where I 'd be now that she 's gone . I miss her terribly . I miss her in a way that I only share with my little sister - since of course she is the only one who would understand . Shoulder brah ? Yes , he 's my bro . who lives on my shoulder that talks like a surfer . He occasionally dares me to do foolish things - Go for it dewd , it will be kewl , but he also helps keep me out of trouble . Dewd , don 't do this brah - you know you 'll regret it . At poolside speaking to a couple of 20 and 30 year old lovelies : Hey I 'm Zachary . What 's your name ? Want to swim with me ? and then to their response of , Don 't you want to swim with your dad ? No , I like girls . " Two of the people close to me are the worst in my life about asking for my advice on issues and then ignoring what I say - or worse yet arguing with me about it . I don 't mean in matters of pure opinion where they can ( or even should ) challenge me , I mean they ask me about things in context of my nursing background : I just cut my hand off with a table saw , what do I do Kevin ? Wrap a tourniquet 2 to 4 inches above the stump . Put the dismembered hand in an ice chest out of direct contact with the ice and then either call 911 or have someone take you to the hospital . Well , if I do that then . . . " Was it Mike that asked about KCMO 's BBQ ? I had a sliced sammie at Gates . It was terrible . Their thing there besides saying , Hi , how may I help you ? over and over ( I think that is right ) is no black pepper that I could find anywhere . I didn 't even ask , assuming it was one of those their thing kind of a deal that they were going to beat me down with . I had a full on meal at Hickory Pit . It was tumultuous . A cool thing about up there is you can order , " Burnt Ends " . Which is exactly what it sounds like - all caramelized end pieces . You can even buy it chopped . For some reason I can 't do a caption on the video below . I am demonstrating how to shave the magnesium block to a fire starter - rake the block across a sharp blade , not the other was around as would seem intuitive to most people I think . Always make more shavings than you would ever think you could need . Use a bottle lid to gather and concentrate it and have a paper under it to catch what doesn 't land in the cap . You can then place paper and all at the base of your fire and strike away . Old duck that lives at MWSP . He seems to be imprinted hard on humans and enjoy their company . He is very talkative and will give his position away when he is in a hide and you never would have otherwise seen him until he charts chattering at you . One day when you get the chance watch Buster Keatons The General . It 's sometimes considered one of the best movies ever made - and it 's nearly one hundred years old . The locomotive ended up in a gorge during filming and stayed there as a local curiosity until WWII when it was hauled out for scrap . After the Boy Scouts decision to allow openly gay members was made I heard multiple people call it a victory for gays and lesbians . . . One woman who wanted her kids in and herself to be a leader said to the effect , I want to work in an organization I love . That is not true - you want to fundamentally change an organization to meet your needs and world view and validate you as a person and maybe all that is A OK . Posted by Two of my favorite images from WWII . Both have arrested my attention when I come across them since I was a boy . Oddly , when they have crossed my path I sometimes wonder if the German soldiers lived through the war but have never had the same thought about the American who I think was tied down on Omaha until now . I have a great idea for a new restaurant - it will be voodoo themed and I 'll call it Foodoo . Get it ? Two things the average person really doesn 't normally understand about WWII . We could have very easily lost ( case could be made we nearly did lose ) . Nobody gives the Russians enough credit for the Germans they killed and equipment they destroyed . The case could be made their contribution was greater than the Normandy invasion . Why were the Germans so scary good at warfare ? First of all they were very innovative in the early part of the war allowing them to win and their leadership get good at what they did and learn what worked . They were masters at small unit tactics . Their equipment was very , very good . Good or bad right or wrong they were a highly skilled , disciplined professional force . Then in the late stages of the war there is the back against the wall factor you can add to the aforementioned thoughts . Mr R at The South 40 reminded me of a couple of things recently . When I was a kid I nearly hated Hee Haw . My parents like it , but it interfered with The Dukes Of Hazzard or whatever it was I liked . Then when I went to Germany for the Army all of us Southern boys watched it together on AFN and I loved it because it reminded me of home . He also mentioned the sale of alcohol coming to Alvord ( Alvoid if you prefer ) . I did not know anything about Decatur going wet until I saw garbage from alcohol packaging everywhere on the streets . Honestly , I did not know anything about a vote on it - a debate or whatever , but that trash everywhere was impossible to not notice . I thought they must have lost some federal street cleaning funding or whatever and I just happened to notice it was beer packaging , but no - the only difference was it had gone wet . We watched a survival show the other night featuring a husband and wife duo . During the part of the episode I watched they supposedly spent 24 hours in a desert . A 24 hour period at the end of which both of them looked as fresh as daisies . His hair literally and obviously was freshly blow dried . Neither one of them had a single visible sign of dehydration . All of this is impossible of course when you 're using a rock for a pillow and drinking cactus juice and your own pee . Even with decent nutrition and efforts being made to hydrate guys in the desert will lose at least a few pounds in a day with activity . This will always show in the face first .
|
Slavery is slavery and where it exists in the world today I think it should probably not be referred to as , " a modern form of slavery . " as it seems to at least in my mind soften its perceived horror . The case could be made ( again - to my mind ) that in some ways it 's worse than just calling it what it is - slavery . Today everyone knows it is a barbaric practice making the people who are slaves predicament seem even more hopeless and horrifying and less likely to motivate others to try and stop the practice . Combat in Syria . I 'm not saying I would be afraid to fight those guys but they 're good . There is a bit too much of spray and pray shooting for my taste but I wasn 't there seeing what they 're seeing - that may have been all they could do without getting their heads blown off . Take a high fenced area of say 800 acres and place a deer with HD POV and panoramic cameras . Release said deer into high fenced area on opening day so there is a point of view from the deer 's perspective when it is shot . I wonder what that would do to the hunting debate ? The main reason dirigibles are not more widely used is because of the Hindenburg zeppelin incident and the resultant images that are burned into mans brain . Where am I going with this you say - that event would make the perfect case for their non use - right ? No , modern air ships are very safe and efficient making the comparison with what could be done today and that sad day a hundred years ago strange if nothing else . It 's irrational for that reel to start rolling when the word dirigible or the phrase lighter than air is used . Why doesn 't Titanic come to mind collectively when a Carnival Cruise Lines commercial airs ? " I know a lot of us have had a lot of anger , a lot of questions , a lot of uncertainty , " he said . " Tonight 's a celebration , a celebration of the elk . We loved him . But I think he loved us , too , because he returned to this neighborhood . " And another quote from the same article " People live here because we love the wildlife , " said Esther Parson , who lives in the foothills west of Boulder . " To murder an animal who feels like he 's part of the neighborhood is despicable . " Boulder Daily Camera . I don 't remember the context , I 'm sure I was going to make a point when I drafted this but it boiled down to : an elk died and anthropomorphic people cried . I haven 't done it in years but was asked recently if I knew how to cook and if I had a special recipe for fried catfish . Here it goes : Use only fresh peanut oil . On fresh fillets place sea salt , fresh ground black pepper and chili powder . Roll the fillets in a 50 / 50 mixture of flour and cornmeal . Then dip in eggs and roll back into the corn meal / flour mix . When the fillets are golden and the bubbling of the oil has settled down they 're ready . Set them out on some thick layers of paper towels and voila ! You are a comfort food genius . As a bonus try using real mayo in place of the eggs . Oh , and when you say fillet , mispronounce it as it is spelled - fillet . I don 't know why it makes it better but it does . Plus , it doesn 't sound so French . Yes , I know fillet comes from an OE word but who would want to take the chance ? When I was a kid I read about spontaneous human combustion and spent weeks terrified I would well , combust spontaneously . Kevin keep up ! I can 't mommmm - I 'm hot ! I might spontaneously combust ! I was sort of a goob . I won 't say when I go to a hospice cases house it 's always a matter of , When things go wrong they call me and in case you 're wondering things have indeed gone wrong , but sometimes that 's the case . They do call me when other nurses aren 't working out and tell me so when the case is offered . Tricky - one of Bristols finest doing Excess . If it sounds familar , you 've probably seen the movie 13 Ghosts . If the singer looks familiar you 've probably seen The Fifth Element ( one of the best sci fi movies ever ) . Well , enjoy - it 's a terrible performance he makes some mistakes and he seems to be skulled out on something but , I like it anyway . It 's a character defect in me really - I 'm much too forgiving . I hope you dig it . R . E . M . Everybody hurts . I saw an old picture of Michael Stipe this morning with loooooong hair . How did I forget he once had hair ? During the run up to Clinton 's ban supposedly Colt ramped up a third shift for the first time since the Vietnam war hundreds of thousands ( at least ) of guns ended up in circulation that would not have been otherwise . It is the same now but people who may have never bought one , people not that into guns are buying them . More people are beaten to death every year than are murdered by rifles . During the debate prior to Clinton 's ban if you asked any cop they essentially never saw a so called assault weapon on the street . They were too hard to conceal - they were too expensive and were harder to obtain illegally than other guns . I doubt you could prove a single crime was prevented with that ban . Interestingly to a man , cops would say they saw way more so called Saturday night specials - cheap . 25 , . 380 and . 9 mm pistols . Surprisingly , in my area at least city and county cops would tell me they saw a lot of . 22 caliber rifles used or carried in cars to be used for no good . The butt stocks would be cut off to form a pistol grip . It is tiresome to hear politicians and now sometimes police talk about the Second Amendment and reference hunting - really , it is bizarre . It was written to elucidate the right of the people to overthrow a government that has become tyrannical . It was understood people would need to be armed to be able to form militias to repel invasions and to prevent the government from being tyrannical . If the amendment is offensive to people they should change it . It is not about hunting or shooting skeet . The good thing about the Second Amendment that is often seems forgotten is it 's very presence may cause it to be unnecessary to use it - it should give politicians pause to know the people may have the means at their disposal to overthrow an oppressive government . But again - if people don 't like it they should change it . A headline this morning was " Sweeping new gun legislation proposed " . The related video had the President nearly in tears speaking in front of an audience including Newtown parents . Behind him sat schoolchildren who had written him about gun control . The talking head said truly to the effect , The President spent more time near tears emotionally trying to gather support than he did laying out plans . . . Maybe I 'm weird - but I prefer legislation that might actually accomplish some useful end not something that makes me feel good and I don 't need a President trying to get sympathy votes by bawling . Bad situations lead to bad laws and rank emotionalism leads to terrible decisions . Hey that is pretty good and I just made it up off the top of my head . feel free to use it - just credify me . Fear the government that fears your guns . Dictators love unarmed peasants . . . I 've never felt like this before but I can 't think of a single gun nut bumper sticker that doesn 't seem prescient right now . If you 're not wondering , What 's next ? or Who is next ? you 're high or otherwise oblivious . I 've been at the same job for a little over a year now . My taxes have gone up and I now bring home much less money than I did just a couple of weeks ago . I was already paying too much in taxes AND having more than the minimum taken out to make sure I didn 't have to pay more during tax time and now I 'm bringing home less money ? ! I cannot reconcile this to my sense of fairness or common sense nor can I rationalize it intellectually . Why bother to work - I mean really why ? Thank God they 're finally making those millionaires and billionaires pay their fair share . When President Obama looks like he want to vomit when he talks about millionaires and billionaires like they 're animal rapists am I the only one that remembers he is a multimillionaire ? Statistically so called gun violence happens in certain areas to certain groups of people . This is sad and terrible . It is awful and something should be done but when laws are made that will and can only affect the law abiding this is a sad admission of how terrible the problem is of our disadvantaged , disenfranchised people . It says Hey man , I 'm sorry we don 't know what to do for you folks that live in conditions that would make a Somali in Mogadishu shudder but we gotta do somethin ' that looks good to get all these wealthy white folks off our backs about the safety of their little snowflakes . . . It is 01 / 21 / 2013 and I 'm back to this rant . I am on the waiting list of 2 different gun stores for an M4 style carbine . I 'm number 110 on one and 10 on another - ridiculous . It is 01 / 27 / 2013 . Yesterday a guy from from one of the gun stores called to let me know they had received a few ARs in to resell . He offered me a late 80s production AR 15 for 1500 dollars or roughly 3 times what was paid for it new - ridiculous . 02 / 01 / 2013 It has recently been announced we are going to sell Egypt F16 fighters and M1 Abrams tanks . Sometimes what sounds like a good idea at the time will blow up in your face and come back to haunt you . Sometimes what sounds a great idea at the time turns out over time to be just that - a great idea . However , I think it is rare that something that sounded a bad idea at the time turns out to be a good one . This is a bad idea . It is a bad idea because it sounds like an awful idea right now - it doesn 't take sleeping on it , thinking it over , seeing how things turn out etc . It is a terrible idea that will have negative consequences for our allies if not the US directly . If nothing else - we will be paying to keep that equipment running . From providing them close air support in Libya to this bit of craziness , the Islamists are tired from lying awake laughing at us all night . If you need a good example of how awful our government is and how dumb congress can be , look no further than the Renewable Fuels Standard . It mandated a percentage of fuel made from plants be blended into gasoline . It makes food cost more , gasoline cost more , cars burn more fuel , it is harder on engines than fossil fuels , makes cars cost more and unless something has changed it is still transported by truck - which burn diesel . In the past it took 1 . 5 gallons of diesel to get a gallon of the ethanol fuel to market . 03022013 I have heard multiple of Maxine Water 's speeches and / or read the text of them . Try as I might , I can never even gather her meaning from them . She seems to just randomly string words together - big sounding words that I sense she does not really know the meaning . An interesting figure she threw out recently was the number of jobs that will be lost due to the sequester - 170 million . How bizarre , but poorly informed , ignorant people will eat that up and believe it . We are broke . We are broke and spending money as fast as we can print and / or borrow it and the news recently was we are giving Syrian rebels 60 million bucks in non lethal aid . First of all we already know Islamists are ascendant in those groups . Second , that is a drop in the bucket of what they would need to overthrow the government . It will not buy us any influence with them . Quite the opposite - it will make them mad in the long run , be made to be an insult and it will be used against us . When the President was asked if he had ever shot a gun he responded to the effect , Yep , we shoot skeet all the time at Camp David . What a liar . Good grief . 03102013 Speaking of liars and hypocrites , Mark Kelly Gabrielle Gifford 's husband got busted for buying an AR15 and a pistol after emotionally and publicly supporting gun control - esp for tactical style rifles . When pro gun people found out about the purchase he lied and said he did it to illustrate how easy it was to obtain those weapons here and he intended to turn them over to police . What a liar . I think I just had cerebral vascular accident so I 'll quit for now . I 'm going to hike the waist of pants up under my arm pits and go to the hospital . Thanks for reading and being my friend on the internets . Sometimes if I warm coffee in the microwave for 1 minute it will be scalding hot and other times OK to drink as soon as it comes out . It isn 't my imagination . My guess is it has to do with being placed slightly different in the oven and very small differences in amount of liquid making a bigger difference than I would have guessed . Zachary gave me a nice flashback the other day when he picked up a copy of the Texas hunting regulations booklet . When his brother was not quite two I started taking him duck hunting with me . I would drop him in a sleeping bag , throw it and my decoy bag over my shoulder , put my gun under my arm and away we would go to where we would set up . We would lie around , eat drink and doze in between his questions while waiting for the sun to come up . People are great I mean really - it is good to be around them and get to know new ones . They are why I have a job and have a job that I love but I have always needed alone time . Ever since I could I would slip off somewhere or stay up late or get up early just to be by myself . I just watched an old Joe Isuzu commercial comparing the Jeep Cherokee to the Trooper . The Cherokee was represented by an Indian on a pony in full war dress . When Joe says to the effect , Today I 'm going to compare the Trooper to the Cherokee . the Indian says , How ? There is not a chance the Syrian army used sarin as has been alleged to drag us into some more shenanigans we have no business involving ourselves in . The Assad regime may be monstrous and he the Devil himself but he isn 't stupid . They know as well as anybody - the only thing guaranteed to bring the whole world down on them would be to give the opposition fighters a chemistry lesson . The numbers being reported should also make us call bull - crap . They have at least been killing those kind of numbers per day - with bullets , tank rounds and artillery without bringing any heat down on themselves . As a bonus - maybe they weren 't exactly winning before the sarin news but they weren 't losing either . That makes me think they had no reason to use the gas and more likely everybody wanting to get involved would lie . We got home around 6 : 00 Monday evening . Holy smokes I was tired . I was so tired I couldn 't sleep - I would nod off and jerk awake . I took some Nyquil and I am not sure I moved for the next 8 hours . Old Tunnel Bat Cave park near Blanco was a hi lite of the trip . FG was the first to see the first bat fly out . Before it was over with we watched 300 thousand + emerge . By the end of the season there may be as many as 3 million bats there . As the name implies the tunnel was an old railroad tunnel that fell into disuse in the 40s . We found a Holiday Inn with one room available after searching for over an hour . We could have planned that better . At one point before we scored the Holiday Inn room I pulled up to a fleabag motel . Here is the conversation that followed : Oh Kevin . What is this ? We can 't do this . This place looks dangerous . We 've been looking for an hour and it is only going to get worse as people want to get off the road . It is either this or sleep in the car with one eye open in a Wal Mart parking lot . I replied . Kevin , It looks dangerous ! she said . Oh , I know that - you are going to get beat up and robbed and I 'm going to get raped - either way . You might as well get your head wrapped around that . You 've got that backwards Kevin . Whatever , the story ends with you sold into slavery and belly dancing for some perverted prince in Dubai - whether it starts here or a Wal Mart parking lot . There wasn 't a vacancy . The manager removed the dirty paper towel covering the No on the No Vacancy sign that was in the window as we were leaving . The crawdad festival in town was a lot of fun . They had some decent live Zydeco and a guy who brought out gators and snakes for demonstration . As we approached the gate I had a little sticker shock - especially as it looked rainy so we went and found sustenance . It poured for an hour closing down some vendors but most importantly the ticket booth . We went in for free and about 15 minutes later it was sunny . We sat at the bat emergence with a couple from San Antonio . They had met 20 years ago in Cali and got together 4 years ago through Facebook - aka The Devil . The first night they went out as teens they found their initials carved in a tunnel wall near a beach and saw it as a sign . He dropped hints he was awesome as he had been in Desert Storm . My guess is he fibbed about Desert Storm but I don 't know , maybe he was awesome . While we listened to the Zydeco I leaned back and looked up into the rafters and around at the people . There were 3 little girls daring each other to dance who finally formed a conga line and had a blast dancing around . FG was smiling . There was the requisite couple who dance unnaturally well and another who don 't realize how awfully they dance and wouldn 't care if it was pointed out to them . It smelled good - rain , seasoning from the cooking , cotton candy and cheap cologne . An elderly man got up and started dancing by himself . His wife is probably dead . A trashy girl got up and started dirty dancing with him . He didn 't care . Everybody smiled and pointed them out to their friends . I let out a Cajun yell , Ah yeeeeee ! FG laughed and smiled . And I thought , We will never be here again . Hello . I would like to trade a 2006 mustang gt for the removal or suction of an egg sized brain cyst . The Mustang Gt is white with gray leather interior . Tinted windows . AC , electric windows and seat . Automatic Transmission . Has all the bells and whistles , including a new DVD touch screen Deck , Shaker 500 sound and less than 40 , 000 on the odometer . The cyst is behind my right eyeball and looks fairly easy to get at . I 'd try to get at it myself , but I 've been trembling and had to bad of a headache to attempt any solo surgery . I don 't have insurance , but I have had the same job for the last 16 years . I need help but the system is hard to work through . $ 260 or more every time I talk to a Dr . And every Dr . I have talked to wants to take blood tests and prescribe drugs that have not helped . All my blood work over the last 3 years has been normal . The cyst is the only abnormal thing I have . I can borrow money and sell the car . I 'm using this ad as a last ditch attempt to get help . If you know a surgeon willing to look at my records , I will mail them and the DVD with 2 brain scans . I 'm going to loose everything if someone cant help me . I don 't want , and have been denied medicaid , because I want to work , but its getting harder to do the things I like to do . Thanks Posted by This morning ( 06122013 ) I awoke at 0111 . My first thought was , OmiGod I have to sleep ! I am going to go crazy . since I just knew it was probably more like 0545 . Is there anything better than that ? I wandered around the house , took a drink of ice water , checked on the kids , read for about 15 minutes and drifted off - content as a bug in a rug . On the day I have my picture made with my wife / GF / SO and a bunch of cats if you have any humanity at all - Will . Hunt . Me . Down . And . Kill Me . If I wanted to nit pick my mom 's rearing of me I could - I know I could , but I 've long realized she did the very best she could with what she had under a lot of very difficult circumstances . A lot of people have done far worse than she with much more resources . One thing that has meant more than I ever could have guessed in my life is she taught me to appreciate wildlife and the outdoors . Really , as messed up as things can be , I can get out and go fishing or just sit and watch the birds and other animals while listening to the wind in the trees and I usually can come away thinking that maybe everything will be OK . I gave a lot back to her through the years and without doing so , I simply cannot imagine where I 'd be now that she 's gone . I miss her terribly . I miss her in a way that I only share with my little sister - since of course she is the only one who would understand . Shoulder brah ? Yes , he 's my bro . who lives on my shoulder that talks like a surfer . He occasionally dares me to do foolish things - Go for it dewd , it will be kewl , but he also helps keep me out of trouble . Dewd , don 't do this brah - you know you 'll regret it . At poolside speaking to a couple of 20 and 30 year old lovelies : Hey I 'm Zachary . What 's your name ? Want to swim with me ? and then to their response of , Don 't you want to swim with your dad ? No , I like girls . " Two of the people close to me are the worst in my life about asking for my advice on issues and then ignoring what I say - or worse yet arguing with me about it . I don 't mean in matters of pure opinion where they can ( or even should ) challenge me , I mean they ask me about things in context of my nursing background : I just cut my hand off with a table saw , what do I do Kevin ? Wrap a tourniquet 2 to 4 inches above the stump . Put the dismembered hand in an ice chest out of direct contact with the ice and then either call 911 or have someone take you to the hospital . Well , if I do that then . . . " Was it Mike that asked about KCMO 's BBQ ? I had a sliced sammie at Gates . It was terrible . Their thing there besides saying , Hi , how may I help you ? over and over ( I think that is right ) is no black pepper that I could find anywhere . I didn 't even ask , assuming it was one of those their thing kind of a deal that they were going to beat me down with . I had a full on meal at Hickory Pit . It was tumultuous . A cool thing about up there is you can order , " Burnt Ends " . Which is exactly what it sounds like - all caramelized end pieces . You can even buy it chopped . For some reason I can 't do a caption on the video below . I am demonstrating how to shave the magnesium block to a fire starter - rake the block across a sharp blade , not the other was around as would seem intuitive to most people I think . Always make more shavings than you would ever think you could need . Use a bottle lid to gather and concentrate it and have a paper under it to catch what doesn 't land in the cap . You can then place paper and all at the base of your fire and strike away . Old duck that lives at MWSP . He seems to be imprinted hard on humans and enjoy their company . He is very talkative and will give his position away when he is in a hide and you never would have otherwise seen him until he charts chattering at you . One day when you get the chance watch Buster Keatons The General . It 's sometimes considered one of the best movies ever made - and it 's nearly one hundred years old . The locomotive ended up in a gorge during filming and stayed there as a local curiosity until WWII when it was hauled out for scrap . After the Boy Scouts decision to allow openly gay members was made I heard multiple people call it a victory for gays and lesbians . . . One woman who wanted her kids in and herself to be a leader said to the effect , I want to work in an organization I love . That is not true - you want to fundamentally change an organization to meet your needs and world view and validate you as a person and maybe all that is A OK . Posted by Two of my favorite images from WWII . Both have arrested my attention when I come across them since I was a boy . Oddly , when they have crossed my path I sometimes wonder if the German soldiers lived through the war but have never had the same thought about the American who I think was tied down on Omaha until now . I have a great idea for a new restaurant - it will be voodoo themed and I 'll call it Foodoo . Get it ? Two things the average person really doesn 't normally understand about WWII . We could have very easily lost ( case could be made we nearly did lose ) . Nobody gives the Russians enough credit for the Germans they killed and equipment they destroyed . The case could be made their contribution was greater than the Normandy invasion . Why were the Germans so scary good at warfare ? First of all they were very innovative in the early part of the war allowing them to win and their leadership get good at what they did and learn what worked . They were masters at small unit tactics . Their equipment was very , very good . Good or bad right or wrong they were a highly skilled , disciplined professional force . Then in the late stages of the war there is the back against the wall factor you can add to the aforementioned thoughts . Mr R at The South 40 reminded me of a couple of things recently . When I was a kid I nearly hated Hee Haw . My parents like it , but it interfered with The Dukes Of Hazzard or whatever it was I liked . Then when I went to Germany for the Army all of us Southern boys watched it together on AFN and I loved it because it reminded me of home . He also mentioned the sale of alcohol coming to Alvord ( Alvoid if you prefer ) . I did not know anything about Decatur going wet until I saw garbage from alcohol packaging everywhere on the streets . Honestly , I did not know anything about a vote on it - a debate or whatever , but that trash everywhere was impossible to not notice . I thought they must have lost some federal street cleaning funding or whatever and I just happened to notice it was beer packaging , but no - the only difference was it had gone wet . We watched a survival show the other night featuring a husband and wife duo . During the part of the episode I watched they supposedly spent 24 hours in a desert . A 24 hour period at the end of which both of them looked as fresh as daisies . His hair literally and obviously was freshly blow dried . Neither one of them had a single visible sign of dehydration . All of this is impossible of course when you 're using a rock for a pillow and drinking cactus juice and your own pee . Even with decent nutrition and efforts being made to hydrate guys in the desert will lose at least a few pounds in a day with activity . This will always show in the face first .
|
Kalia , the watchman was feeling a vague sense of unease . He looked around at the snaking road and the bleak landscape . He looked at the ruins going around the tomb of the beautiful Mughal queen . There was no change . Everything looked the same as it was yesterday , or the day before that or as far back as he could remember . Then why did he feel that there was something different ? Why did he feel so sure about it ? " I must be getting old , " he thought . But as he attempted to shrug away his weird feeling , he suddenly heard shrieks and then he knew that his instincts were right on target . For accompanying the hysterical screams of women , he saw something that he could not have imagined in all the 60 years of his life . Not even in his dreams . He stared horrified , at the gruesome scene . Lying dead with over sixty savage stab wounds each were Badal and Dulal , the two huge and notorious musclemen of Motilal , the moneylender . The dead men looked ghastly as their hard bronze faces were frozen in a shocked grimace . Several pieces of black , orange , red and green glass bangles were lying near the bodies and a woman 's red skirt and green veil hung on an overlying shrub . Word travelled as fast as the whining winds and seemingly out of nowhere emerged about half a dozen women dressed in saris with bright tribal prints . The village women looked stunned and silent . " Ram , Ram , " exclaimed Yamunaben , grandmother of Lakshmi , " a crime right here in Belampur . These things happen only in big cities where the goondas live . Such things would never happen in my time , " she said , shaking her head . " Well , why are you all standing and staring ? Go get the constable if he is awake , " she ordered to no one in particular . Shaka , the village urchin , was dispatched to the small police station , more like an outpost than a regular station . It had only two cops , Amar Singh , a burly Sikh who was over six feet tall , and Thambe , the meticulous note taker . Shaka dashed into the little maroon building , excited and breathless , shouting at the top of his voice , " Khoon , khoon , come quick . " Amar Singh sprang to his feet , put on his cap and rushed to his jeep . By the time Amar Singh reached the scene of the crime , most of the women had left except Yamunaben and a couple of friends . Kalia hovered about the scene offering his services . Amar Singh took notes and photographs . " Don 't touch anything and don 't remove anything . Shaka , go get Motilal , " he said . Shaka reached Motilal 's house and called out loudly to Rupa , " Amar Singh wants to meet your master . " Before Rupa 's curiosity found expression in a volley of questions , Shaka excused himself and ran . Amar Singh got into his jeep , and drove to the police station . He waited for a while , his face in deep thought . Finally , he called for forensic and extra help from the nearest unit about ten kilometers away and asked for some tea . He sipped his tea slowly and pondered about the strange murder . The girl whose bangles and skirt were strewn near those goons , who was she ? " Thambe , " he suddenly called his assistant who promptly woke up and rubbed his eyes . " Did anyone report a missing girl or woman ? " he asked . At this point Motilal walked in with his characteristic swagger . " I want justice , I want those culprits . How dare anyone lay hands on my faithful workers , " he shouted livid with anger . Unfazed , Amar Singh replied calmly , " First tell me what happened . A skirt was lying beside your men . Do you know who the girl is and why were her clothes lying beside your men ? " And Amar Singh looked very fierce . He looked so fierce that Motilal was taken aback . " A girl , " he thought as a frown took hold of his pudgy face , " and murder ! ? " He looked shaken and his manner was less belligerent . He mopped his brows , answered all the questions , and left abruptly swearing under his breath . It was around 6 p . m . Amar Singh looked out of the window . A priest at a nearby temple began his ritual chanting . He looked at the assembly and the patio in front of the temple where Mohan Kumar used to counsel the villagers about crop rotation . Suddenly , he thought about Mohan , the social worker who had come from Mumbai three months ago . Several scenes flashed across his mind - - Mohan learning ancient ways of conserving rain water from the village elders , Mohan teaching village girls how to read , write and count , and most importantly , Mohan experimenting with homemade sprays . " Thambe , I 'm going to see Mohan , " said the Sikh constable and rushed out . There were no lights or sound in Mohan 's small pink cottage at the edge of the village and the door was locked . Amar Singh walked around the porch , then around the compound . He kept looking for any unusual happenings when he heard a parrot screeching , " Take care , I 'm going , take care , I 'm going . " And then it struck him . The parrot was repeating the last words of Mohan Kumar . Mohan had gone . Every quarter , Mohan made the trip to the rural development center in Nasik to report problems and settle accounts . This time he felt satisfied at the progress made in Belampur . He looked out of the window of the bus at the changing pastoral scenes and relaxed . He closed his eyes and let his mind wander . Thoughts , events , emotions danced merrily on the memory lane of his mind and stopped at a gripping moment of a hot and humid night in early May . He was experimenting with a spray he had formulated using several aromatic compounds . Feeling thirsty , he went to the kitchen to get some water and suddenly halted , paralyzed by shock . A woman 's frail hand reached in through the kitchen window for something on the counter . He saw her hand move back and forth trying to reach for something . He looked at the kitchen counter and there was nothing worthwhile that anybody would try to steal . Puzzled and mystified by the intruding hand , and wanting to find the cause , he slipped out silently in the dark and slowly moved in the wet grass straddling the kitchen until he was right behind her . In an instant he grabbed her from behind . She let out a startled cry , and tried to disengage herself from the tight grip . She struggled and fought him like a wild beast and managed to bite him in several places . He used all his energy in holding on to her . She fought with her fists , then with her nails . But he just looked at her face and into her eyes and took all her beatings without a sound . Then something astonishing happened . She stopped struggling and started whimpering and crying and between loud sobs she said , " Babuji , please don 't tell the police . I did not come to steal . I just came to borrow a knife . And I would have returned it to you the next day . You wouldn 't even have noticed . Please give me the knife , " she pleaded . Mohan did not relax his grip , even though she was crying and pleading . He knew that she didn 't trust him , an outsider from Mumbai , and all this crying might just be a ruse to run away . " Why do you want a knife ? " he asked . " To cut vegetables , " she replied . He knew the truth would not come out even if he thrashed her from head to foot . So he tried something different . " Come in , I 'll give you the knife , " he said . She hesitated and shook her head vigorously , looking more like a little baby than a young woman of 22 years . By the kitchen light , he could make out her face . It was pale , and tired . Her blouse was torn a bit in the scuffle . She wore no shoes and her skirt had several patches stitched together . The soles of her feet looked cracked with walking over the jagged stones and hard ground . She looked like she had not eaten for several days . Yet her whole body betrayed anger , hunger , and a fierce defiance . " Look , " said Mohan gently , " the knife may not work the way you think it will work . You could end up in much bigger trouble . Tell me your problem . Trust me . I am a social worker . I can help . Why don 't you come to the class I teach every morning ? Come tomorrow and see for yourself . " She kept nodding and staring at him . " I have a 21 - year - old sister . She is three years younger than me and you are like another sister , so please talk to me , " he said . She continued staring . He looked forlorn as he thought about his sister and his home in Mumbai . His mother must have finished her dinner and his sister would have returned from her tutoring class . He sighed as if he was in wilderness looking in at a bright cheery house in Parel , Mumbai . His face bore the pained look of an exile . " Yes , I was thinking of my sister and home , " he replied . The girl relaxed . A man who could warm up to home could not be very bad , she reasoned . Besides he seemed kind and had not turned her over to the police . The next day she was there , and the next , and the next . She learnt to read , write , and most importantly , she learnt how Motilal had multiplied her mother , Smitaben 's debt from a mere Rs . 500 to over Rs . 1 , 50 , 000 . And when she learnt the arithmetic and the treachery practiced on her family , the anger burst out of her like molten lava . She got up suddenly and excused herself . Mohan tried to stop her but she was adamant and said in a quiet deadly tone , " because of this swindling of my family , my father and brother are in Motilal 's lands working without pay , without family , for a handful of rice and the tattered clothes on their back , my mother is being hounded for money , we have no food and our little hut is under repair all the time , let me go , Mohanbabu " she cried . He let her go and she ran sobbing all the way to her house . Her mother looked concerned , and to all her questions , she only said , " I am not going to Motilal 's house . He is not going to have me a bonded laborer like papa and bhayya . " " What , what are you saying . The deed is already done . You are supposed to start in a month , " cried Smitaben in an anxious tone . " I know ma , but I am not going . We do not owe any money to him . His arithmetic is all wrong and unfair . I learned all that in Mohan babu 's class . " Her mother looked wildly around her . " Hush , Kanta , here even the walls have ears , " her mother warned her with a tortured look . Those two badmash will kill your father and brother , " she added , looking all around her , as if she was expecting them to materialise any time . " Ma , don 't panic . They have robbed us . We are only asking for our rightful dues . Can 't we go to the police ? " asked Kanta . " It 's no use . I can 't read and they have my thumb impressions on all the documents since I can 't sign my name . They are too wealthy and powerful . They can sway the lawyer and the police . Even if Amar Singh supports us , they can get him transferred . I wish I would just die , " wailed her mother . Big sobs racked her body and copious tears flowed down her withered cheeks . " Ma , don 't worry . Everything will be ok . We will find a way , " she said to soothe her mother 's distress . It pained her to see her mother reduced to tears and her family reduced to beggary . If only she could get a knife , a big sharp knife that she saw in Mohan babu 's house . She could then - - the thoughts trailed off , and all she did was to clench her fists and gnash her teeth in mute anger . The next day , she had asked Mohan for the knife again , after telling him the whole story . " The knife may not do what you think it can do , " said Mohan . " But this can help you more , " he added . And he then showed her the homemade spray that could knock a man senseless for an hour . " Go ahead , try it on me , " he volunteered as she looked skeptical . She did not budge . " Oh , all right , here I 'll spray some on myself . " She saw him pass out and lie flat on the ground . Mohan walked in front of the blue and white building that catered to all the rural development projects for the northwestern districts of the state of Maharashtra . He was happy with the work and the progress of his village . He was ruminating about starting a small library with a few classics of the world . He was thinking about bookstores when his eyes fell on a sari clad woman just getting out of a bus from Belampur . Something looked familiar about the figure . It was the same scrawny girl except now she looked a little older . And then it hit him like a thunderbolt as he exclaimed - " Kanta ! ! " She whirled around , " bapujji , so glad to see you . Have you heard the news ? I heard it from the blaring radio at the tea shop . Badal and Dulal are both dead . " He noticed her relief at her tormentor 's death and a spark of light danced on her somber and severe face . He frowned and wanted to ask her the question , if she was involved in any way . However , he changed his mind and allowed her to savor the thought but continued gazing at her , wondering if she was angry enough to try something . He wanted to get into her mind and read her thoughts , because he felt he had to know one way or another . Finally , he broke the silence , took her aside and asked in a low tone , " How did Badal and Dulal die ? Did you … ? " " No , no , babuji . How can you even think like that ? It is true I took the spray and went home . But Badal and Dulal were already at my house threatening my mother . They were asking for me . I told them to stop and that I would go with them to become a bonded laborer to Motilal . They allowed me to pack a sari and blouse . I concealed a spray in each of my skirt pockets and followed them looking so meek and timid that they relaxed their guard . I waited till we came to a bend in the paved road . I saw no one and the place looked deserted . Quickly , I reached into my pocket , pulled out the spray and sprayed the contents on their unsuspecting faces and hid myself in the bushes . I discarded my peasant outfit , a skirt and veil on the bushes , changed to sari and blouse , broke my bangles , flung the pieces around and walked away quickly . I took the next bus to Nasik with the money I got after pawning my silver anklets . Motilal will assume that his goons killed me and will stop harassing my mother . " Mohan looked amazed . The girl had a fantastic brain . What great potential lies buried in these seemingly common folk . How much of this talent is lost and buried in the dark , cavernous caves of injustice ? He now felt glad that the fight with his nitpicking boss one year ago had led him to quit his job in a huff and turn his energies to social work . The rewards were immeasurable . " Chemical Engineering ? No more of that , " he thought to himself , which quickly became a frown as he wondered aloud , " Who murdered those men ? " In Belampur , the question was on everyone 's lips . Sitting morosely in his office , Amar Singh felt the heat in more ways than one . The village had seen no murders , not even a fight in over 100 years . He had to do something . After some hard thinking , he picked up his cell phone and called his friends in the Crime Branch . " They have fancy gadgets and high tech stuff that could solve the problem fast , " he thought . In two days he got the answer . Two prisoners , Jaggu and Ranjit , had escaped from a maximum - security prison near Goa . They had been sentenced to hard labour two years ago , courtesy Motilal and his henchmen . Howling with revenge they completed their chosen mission and were caught while escaping to Mauritius . The village was relieved and happy and after a few days , things resumed the normal pace of a soothing and rustic life . Poor Smitaben finally got justice through the lawyers of the rural development center . Kanta 's father and brother came home . The little family was united and Kanta finally found peace . Mohan came with sweets to celebrate . As he sat on the floor , he was struck by the austere and spartan house stripped to bare necessities . The thatched roof was still holding . The mud floor was rent in many places . And the rains often flooded the small room . Outside , it was a dark and dreary night full of echoes and sounds and pierced by howling winds . But that did not matter . The little house radiated joy and Kanta 's eyes shone with gratitude . She asked Mohan , " Can I teach at the temple . I may be of some use to a hungry soul . " He hesitated , " Kanta , I think you should lie low , maybe even go to relatives in another village . Motilal can still hurt you , " he warned . She would not listen . Mohan , knew it was useless to protest and reluctantly agreed . After lying low for a couple of weeks , she started teaching at the patio near the temple . Her star pupil , Shaka , later on became a postman . Old Kalia refused to learn . He said it interfered with his ability to commune with the dead queen . But Kanta plodded on , and reflected her burning light to several toiling men and women tormented by their masters for no other reason than their being poor , illiterate , and in debt . By every syllable that turned into an illuminating spark , the men , women and children of Belampur learned that they were born to be free . And nobody can take away that knowledge , ever again .
|
December 5th , 2010 , was my 19th birthday . It rained a little bit as it usually does . A nice soft gentle rain calling you to run around in it and enjoy the freshness of pure water hitting your face . Because I didn 't want to get sick the week before seeing my husband , I stayed inside . My 19th year , was , I can honestly say , the best year of my life so far . Of course , I say that every year , what else can I say ? God is good , and each year I learn more about Him , and He 's blessed me with so much . So , time for a look back at all that has happened and what my hopes for my 20th year are . Yes I go by birthday resolutions and not by new year 's resolutions . In my 19th year of life : I turned 18 years old , and did not have a birthday party . I don ; t like giving myself a party . But I do like making myself cakes . : D I figured out that gluten was not good for me , and neither was much dairy , and that watching what I consumed would be beneficial if I wanted to live life without the pain attacks I had been getting . I helped my fiance Stephen organize his room and his belongings and discovered I really like organizing and putting things in their proper place . I also found out my beloved is a major packrat . lol . I still love him dearly . I said goodbye to Stephen at 4am on a Monday morning in December , knowing I wouldn 't talk to him again for three months . I learned it 's sometimes best to keep your mouth shut and that not everyone wants to debate what is right and wrong and if something grey is black or white . For the good of everyone , some things aren 't that important and I shouldn ; t be all concerned about everything being perfect and right . I got pulled over by a cop for the first time in my life . My brights were on . Whoops . I got quite good at swing dancing . Hurray coffee depot ! I learned that a relationship can survive without talking to someone everyday . And that the mail doesn 't deliver letters fast enough . On a Thursday in March I finally got talk to my love face to face again and not just by snail mail . And boy , did he look hot . ; ) Looking at a picture of us , I saw he looked great and in shape with all his nice muscles . . . and I looked . . . not so great , and not so in shape . : ( I dropped him off at his next training 10 days later . At least this time I could talk to and see him on weekends . I spent the next few weekends driving down to Pendleton to see my hon whenever I could . I got my braces off in April ! My mom didn 't notice . Even this past week , other people were still beginning to notice they were gone . Pinocchio was a huge success . I would like to thank my producer , my mom , and the entire cast for the excellent work . Families were blessed and enjoyed the entertainment . Yay theatre ! I got in shape . And was the healthiest I had been in a long time . On June 22 , 2010 , Stephen IMed me a message saying he was being stationed in Japan at the end of July . SAY WHAT ? ? ? ? ? Thank God for my mom and her ability to get things done quick . We booked the place and started making wedding arrangements . On June 25th , I announced my wedding date : exactly a month away . On July 6th , we were legally married at the courthouse . I wore a simple blue summer dress , and he wore a nice collared shirt and tan pants . It was just us , our parents , and each of our youngest siblings in attendance . Afterwards , we ate at Olive Garden . Was so stressed out about everything i didn ; t bother to tell people we wee already married . Too much going on , and I just wasn 't ready to deal with questions at the moment . I was very stressed and I hope people forgive me for avoiding sharing details of my life then . The day before my wedding , I felt . . . pregnant . The day before my wedding I fund about about a job with a movie . I applied . On July 25th , 2010 I married my best friend on the most perfect and beautiful day . Everything was wonderful and pretty , and everyone had a great time , and all I can say is thank you God that was exactly what I wanted it to be like . I was dressed in the most beautiful dress ever and my man looked so handsome in is dress blues . Everyone else looked great to in the wonderful world of turquoise . The next morning , July 26th , I took my husband to the airport and put him on a plane to Japan . Came home , ate some wedding cake and watched movies with my family . Realized People took over 3000 pictures of my wedding . O _ O Went through ALL of them . Kept getting moodier , kept eating A LOT , and kept denying I was pregnant . Finally admitted I was pregnant . The hormones wee hitting at full force and i had every symptom in the book . August 15th , I heard God speak clearly , asking if I would trust Him and praise Him in all things . I said Blessed be your name Lord , I will . August 16th , I suddenly didn 't feel pregnant anymore . I started bleeding . On August 17th , I miscarried my baby : Issac Joy Marts I fell out of shape , my diet was poor and my pains came back . Time to start over working out and eating right again . Dang . Stephen and me tried our hardest to make it work so I could live in Japan with him . After laying our options out and discussing and praying we felt at peace to not live together at the moment . Do we like the arrangement ? Absolutely not . It just made the most sense with what we know from our options no details need to be given ( it really is the best choice at the moment ) . But . . . I got my plane ticket to visit him over Christmas and new years ! WHOOT ! ! ! ! ! On December 3 , went to Disneyland with my family for my birthday . Had a lovely time . And on December 5th , went to church , came home , ate cookies , and hung out around here . To learn to love God more , and follow him more obediently , and show others not only His love , but the fact they need Jesus to save them from their sins so they can have eternal life with God and not go to hell , separated from His presence forever . My year will be spent following His lead . It 's really all I can do or want to do . he knows best . : ) Finished my job with the film on November 20th . It was a long three months but I 'm still so glad I got the opportunity . Met some really great people and learned a LOT . Hopefully I 'll get to work with some of mu buddies again . : ) Love you all ! ! ! My life back home was , kinda put aside while working . 12 - 14 hour days means little time for much else besides the film . You do grow really close to your coworkers however , and I am so thankful for the Quality INTERNship church . ( our self made nickname . ) These friends were dear and helped me thru a lot of the emotional and physical baggage I had obtained from the obvious stresses . ( see this post ) before coming out to work . I got to see a lot of countryside , and experience something I 've never really experienced before : fall ! In California , we really don 't get to experience the fullness of seasons . The colors were amazing . The vivid oranges , the striking reds , the shining yellows , all mixed in a kaleidoscope among the greens and blues of the mountains . It was like a oil painting sprung to life . A perfect picture painted by the master craftsman . Breathtaking . I should have taken more pictures than I did . But I was also driving most of the time , so probably bad idea . I 'm a scary enough driver without added distractions ! ; ) As I mentioned in our last post , we lost a coworker named Joe Ruggerio . He was a good man , a gentleman from another time , a rugged outdoors man , and a pirate ! It 's a sad loss , and please continue to pray for his family . Where was he spiritually ? I honestly don 't know . All I know is that God gives everyone a chance to come to Him and I have peace in that knowledge . It was a stressful night / weekend when h died . As it was our last day in that location and we had to move to another state the next day ! I have to commend our crew for the job they did , keeping themselves and the team strong to handle everything going on and keep the show running . Everyone held up incredibly well under the circumstances . We were able to hold a memorial service for Joe with his family the following week and think it was a good night of releasing emotion for everyone . The picture wrapped mid November , and I finished my job ( after many months of traveling thru way too many patches of scary trees ) November 19th . The next day I flew to Atlanta to visit my friend Jen , and while talking about the fact she needed a roommate still for her apartment in Florida , her mom said something about me , and we all had a " DUH ! " moment . So , mid February , I 'm gonna be moving to Orlando and trying to get work at a theme park down there . ( cough , Disney hire me please , cough . ;) ) And if theme parks don ; t work out , there 's other jobs and it 's a new environment and experience , so why not ? In case your wondering , I can 't live with my hubby in Japan . We went through all our options ( aka , hours of phone calls and panicking about missing deadlines for me ) and decided that at this moment it would be better for us to live apart . We both felt a peace about it and know God will have us where he will for HIS glory . It would be nice to be in the same time zone eventually , but until then , it 's trust and long loving phone conversations between US girl and Japan guy . I miss you hon ! But . . . I will get to see my Stephen December 11th . : D That 's right , I 'm flying over there for a lovely Christmas visit ( and a long overdue honeymoon . ;) ) Gonna be there about a month and looking forward to spending time with my guy in person ! He still has to work while I 'm there , so while I 'm sitting at the hotel alone , I 'll be working on my screenplay about a modern day Paul the Apostle ( based on a true story ) and putting together the creative elements for ICAP Theatre 's spring show . So I shall be able to do my own creative stuff again , and hopefully , the work hours from this past film will help me schedule myself and be productive . Hello all . I 'm still working on the film Alone Yet Not Alone , therefore I cannot speak much of anything that 's been going on lately . ( signed a contract and all . ;) ) What I can tell you is that we lost a dear coworker in an accidnet last friday . Please keep in your prayers the family and friends of Joe Ruggerio . http : / / www . lehighvalleylive . com / slate - belt / index . ssf / 2010 / 10 / family _ remembers _ pen _ argyl _ man . html I 'm so glad to be here working , at the same time , it is a LOTof work , and . . . i really really really would like to be i the same place as my husband ! The last coupe days have been nice here . Most of the crew is shooting in a different location so it 's been VERY quiet up here . Had time to finally regather thoughts and catch my breath . Or at least , attempt to . Non beneficial eating habits ever since production started have caught up . So has the non sleeping much problem . Results = Not so lovely . Been short of breath and energy and other various symptoms you really don 't wanna hear about . But , I have gone back on my diet , got me some carrot juice at Wal Mart ( super wal marts are amazing ! ! ! ) and am going to make sure I stay on it . I want to be healthy again ! The non healthiness isn 't very pleasant . Been also hard to find time to read the Bible , or talk to anyone outside this production . Me and Stephen make sure to talk once a day , which is good , cause as all the counseling books say , communication is key ! I love him so much , and am sooooo thankful we get to be together . . . even if we aren ; t in the same vicinity ! lol , we don 't fit any sort of mold . Still haven 't gotten any official word that I can go visit my beloved husband in Japan this December , but he has been trying very hard to make it work out . There 's waaaaaay too much paperwork involved with this business ! But yeah . . I kinda married the guy cause I 'd like to be able to spend time with him , you know ? Been praying hard it 'll work out . Even though it 's been kinda up and down on good times and not so good times , one thing is constant . God never fails to remind me of His love . There 's been a few times where I have felt so alone lately , but little things and reminders will happen , and I remember I am not alone . One of the dear gals here has been encouraging in reminding us with a quote from C . S . Lewis ' The Screw tape Letters . In it , The elder demon advises his young padawan that humans are most dangerous when they look around , and cannot see God , because if they still have faith even in the darkest times , they will be the most on fire for their savior . Even though we are not really in any major dark times here ( yes , it 's stressful , but hey , we 're making a movie ! ! ! Stress is part of the job ! ) When I do get to read the Bible , the passages usually will have something jump out at me that was on my mind that day . One such reminder is the fact that I work in an incredibly beautiful place ! I mean , my drive into work could be a lot worse you know . ; ) And yesterday , we passed through low fog clouds and the sun came shining through them and through the trees and for a moment we went trough a color kaleidoscope ! One of those rare moments that take your breath away and you get a glimpse at what the beauty of heaven looks like . Below I 've posted some pictures of my daily drive . Enjoy ! I 'm just kidding ! I do drive the little cart around a lot here at work , but they won ; t let me take it on the interstate . ; ) Hope you all are well , God Bless , and . . . . Hello from Roanoke VA ! I 've been here since September 1st and have been working on production almost everyday ! There 's been ups and there 's been downs , and I can 't believe it 's only been 3 and a half weeks since i moved out here . First of all , the intern group is seriously one of the most amazing and wonderful groups of people I 've ever met . They 're so kind , and loyal , and passionate about Jesus . I was not doing too well physically or emotionally during my first week here , and they were right there for me , to cry and pray with me even though I 'd only known them two days ! I love you guys ! ! ! And I 'm so thankful to God I 've gotten to share this experience with so many awesome people . Unfortunately , some of the interns have to leave this weekend . You know it can happen , but it happened to soon for all of us and we are going to miss them dearly . But , we have hope to see them again , if not here on earth , then in the air with Jesus ! Or , of course , on facebook . ; ) On the film , My job is a Production Office PA ( production assistant ) . That occupation is basicially helping with logistics . It is our job to be a backbone of the production , keeping everything running smoothly , on time , and in budget . We handle phone calls , transportation coordination , rentals , catering , purchases for the different departments , schedules , paperwork of all shapes sizes and colors , and any other little random thing that pops up that no one else is officially supposed to handle . Even though I 'm locked up in the office most of the time , there have been a few occasions where I have been able to go onto set and watch the filming . It 's neat to be on a bigger production than a single camera . I knew before how much work went into making a movie , but I don ; t think I understood exactly how much work it really is until getting here ! It 's amazing how a group of people from every single different walk of life and personality it takes to make a movie . Also , I have found out golf carts are very fun things to drive around . I like my little golf carts . : ) Hello everyone ! Right now I 'm sitting in the Phoenix airport waiting for next flight . Traveling to Virgina today for production on the film . So while waiting , thought I 'd post a little . First of all , thank you so much those who have left me encouraging comments an have been prayng for me . I really appreicate it . The past few weeks have been up and down . Some days I 'm totally fine emotionally , and other days I just kind of sit in depression . It 's not like it 's weighing weighing me down , it 's just there and comes and goes . I am doing better than I had been though , and still totally believe God is good . My body though isn 't on the same process things fast time schedule as I am though . Been banned from doing most of the physical activities I usually do for 6 weeks . ( my poor Jillian Michaels DVD is getting dusty ! ) But I know they 're probably right . I just would like my self to heal faster so i can get back to being physical and not feeling like a weakling . Last weekend was the annual Southern California Above Rubies retreat that my family puts on for the magazine . ( did I mention we do a little bit of everything ) . We had a lot of new people , and both the regulars and them were totally blessed and inspired by Colin and Nancy 's messages , and fellowshipping with other like minded people . Also , we had a man accept Christ and get baptised at the end . Like I said , GOD IS GOOD ! On monday , I went to Disneyland with my family one last time before I left for a few months . I spent the whole day taking my darling sister Jordan ( girly ) around . We had fun ! And my favorite moment was girly getting to dance in the Celebrate You parade with Pinocchio ! I also bought her a pink mickey ear hat for her birthday ( in a few weeks ) since she keeps stealing my mouse ears at home . Then this morning , got on a plane . . . and slept the whole first flight , lol . I was so tired . I didn 't sleep last night , but I did get to talk to my husband for a few hours ! He 's such a great encourager , really helped me get up and be ready to go on this trip . ( thanks Hon , I love you ! ) I 'm slightly annoyed at myself that I slept through initial take off since its one of my favorite parts of flying . While putting yourself in the hands of a complete stranger and their aircraft at 30 , 000 feet or so in the air isn 't really the safest thing to do in the world , I like it . Soaring above the clouds , makes you realize how fun life is , and at the same time , how big the world is . I look down at the cities from above , and see all the cars and the people , and wonder what their life is like , what do they believe , where are they going , and are they having a good day ? Flying itself , especially taking off , is just a thrill . I mean , we are flying ! It 's common now , but it 's still cool . So there 's your sleep induced ramble for the day . For any who may actually have read that , here 's a picture of the carpet for you . I think it 's cool and very airplaned themed , lol . Posted by Hello everyone . have good and bad news in this update , so i 'll just write through it all chronologically . First of all , Stephen and I were married ! ! ! We only had exactly one month to plan the wedding , but God worked everything out amazingly and it was so beautiful ! I couldn 't have asked for a better day . All too soon , my USMC husband had to fly out to Japan where he is currently stationed . We once again learned how to communicate even though we are 16 hours and over 5 , 000 miles apart . It 's tough sometimes ( especially when I had to get up at 2am if wanted to talk ! ) but we worked it out . There 's no news yet on paperwork processing if I 'll be able to actually live with my husband in Japan ! Right now , they 're saying it would be a miracle for it to happen , but I believe in miracles , so I 'm still hoping I get to go . I 'm planning on visiting in December and can 't wait to see my husband again ! But , along with much joy , there also comes sorrow . Last week , we found out we had been blessed with a honeymoon baby . I got to enjoy feeling pregnant ( aka lots of nausea and eating like a horse ) for three days . My body has been doing what it 's supposed to do through this situation , and is healing fine . My heart though will never be the same as you can imagine . It 's been tough on both of us , but at the same time , we would like to share how great our God is . HE was totally with me the whole time through all the pain and agony , both physically and emotionally . He gave me comfort , let me know that he has my child now and is taking care of him for me , and even though I may never understand why , He has a reason for this , and most importantly HE IS IN CONTROL . In that , I have found so much joy and peace and even though I am really really really bummed out , and am grieving over the loss of my child , at the same time , am so incredibly happy because of I know Jesus is Lord . A verse that helped me through this was Psalm 16 : 8 - 9 . 8 " I have set the LORD always before me . Because he is at my right hand , I will not be shaken . Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices ; my body also will rest secure , " Even though this little one was only a few weeks old , I definitely know there was a life . ( And yes , I do know for sure this was a pregnancy and miscarriage , but will not be posting the details here . ) We decided to name the baby Isaac Joy Marts , because Isaac means laughter , and even though we are sad , we totally trust God and can still laugh and rejoice in HIM . I can 't wait to get to heaven even more now because there I 'll get to meet a special person I didn 't get to know here ! What is this ? Is that a video ? Mackenzie actually made a video ? A non theater performance related video ? A video with no copyright restrictions that she can actually post ? Yes she did ! ! ! And yes , it 's just a short PSA , but it was made during one of the craziest month ever of my life , and it 's the start of several others that i will actually be able to post when done . ( yay for original material . ;) ) So enjoy . : ) the inspiration behind this is the fact I have wasted lots of precious time in the past , and I hope not to fall into the procrastination habitation again . Posted by Seriosiuly , go see Toy Story 3 this weekend . Please help PIXAR have a HUGE opening weekend . Their movies are the best and we need to support quality entertainemnt . If you hadn 't noticed , I LOVE pixar movies . I think they have the best films ever made . That being said , I am really excited about and looking forward to Toy Story 3 ! First , this Ken was a real Ken Doll . You can see here the original trailer for the Animal Lovin ' Safari set . ( and yes , this is real , not a PIXAR viral invention ) There 's a quote , that I can 't find at the moment , by John Lassater in talking about this guy 's development . The main point of this toy 's personality is the fact that he doesn 't think he 's a " girl 's toy " . He thinks he 's cool and that boys would play with him . He also has never met a Barbie before . PIXAR is also known well for their amazing animation . You can see in this clip below , not only is his character well personified in his lines and voice , but his actions and movement . The look of the whole film is beautiful , with a realistic yet still animated feel . This video one was shown at Comic Con last year . First time they revealed a new character . it 's even funnier when you 're watching it with 6 , 000 of your closest friends . ; ) All too often I hear people saying stuff that 's totally and completely re - donk - u - lous . They hear something , and assume they are suddenly informed on everything about that subject . Or , they follow the arty line of what everyone else is saying / believes on the subject . It happens most when people talk about different religions ( no matter what you believe , at least respect others enough to know what it is exactly they believe ! ) and politics . In creating a story , one of the most important things to consider is the payoff . Will your audience feel satisfied watching the story ? Will they feel you have resolved the questions you presented to them ? And will your intended meaning reach them ? Really good stories are able to blend the plot resolve and meaning into a solution that makes the audience feel rewarded for reading or watching the narrative . Most filmed stories seem to lean towards one or the other . For example , most summer " popcorn " flicks present a nice wrapped up conclusion to their story , but it usually lacks meaning . Audiences who just want to be entertained usually view these movies . Dramas will present character growth in a way that also challenges the viewer to take the meaning and apply it to their own life . After the ending of the TV show LOST last Sunday , many fans felt the popular TV show had gone absurd in the final 15 minutes , and that they had wasted six years of their lives . Others connected with the story and were satisfied with the ending . My analysis and thoughts of " The End " ( LOST 6x17 ) after the jumping shark . In anything in life , there 's always a group of people who are the hardest workers . The ones who bring everything together . Who are the forgotten , yet extremely important people of the film industry ? No , I 'm talking about whoever types every single name into the credits . These are the backbone of the entire industry . The people who have to make sure they include EVERY single name of EVER single person who had any small part of making the film . The result . Amazingness ! They did such a wonderful job ! I 'm so glad I got to teach and direct them this year . It 's been such a great experience , and blessing . : ) " For never was a story of more woe , than this of Juliet and her Romeo . " The tale of two doomed lovers by William Shakespeare has been the inspiration of many other stories , where the beautiful damsel and her handsome lover are kept apart by external circumstances . LOST 's own lovebirds , Jin and Sun Kwon , have been given their own Shakespearian tale over the course of LOST . My theatre class performed Pinocchio last night , and they did an amazing job ! For many , it was their first show ever , and they acted like professionals and gave wonderful performances . : D Now that the play is over . Updates will be coming again , along with the video of the play , and a how to on that nose if anyone wants to build their own . See yas ! I have been tagged by araken to name 8 books I would like to live in for a week , and then tag 8 more people . This is a bit of a challenging one for me , since I really like my own world ! lol ! But here we go . : ) Narnia has played such a huge role in my life . A production of the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe when I was 6 years old sparked my desire to do theatre , and helped my understand Jesus ' sacrifice on the cross . I 'd love to live in Narnia becuase it is a land filled with wonderful , good creatures living under the protection and love of Aslan . And he wouldn 't want a talking beaver as a neighbor ? I 've always wanted to live in the Shire . So nice and friendly with lovely green hills . And If I wanted to travel , lots of interesting places around Middle Earth , but then back home to the beautiful Shire . Wow , I really am a homebody , aren 't I ? This is probably a cheat , since this is basically the world I do live in . MY life has had so many elements and places from this series , it 's incredibly funny . But I would also like to meet and hang with the characters . They are such Godly young people , I 'd love to talk with them . : ) I 've always thought it would be fun to live in Avonlea . The people are pleasant , and so is the culture . Beware of gossipy neighbors though . ; ) Yes , this selection is asking for a strange morbid death if you live in this world . But it would just be so fun ! Until you die in a unusual fashion that is . From my horse riding days , I had always wanted to be in this world where connections between horse and rider were so natural and almost surreal . 8 . The Generation Series What 's your worldview ? Do you believe in God ? Do you not ? Which God ? Are we products of chance or by design ? The most important decision anyone can make in this life is what they believe . As storytellers , the most important decision we can also make for creating characters is deciding what they believe , because all their actions in life will derive from their ideals or faith . A look at the mythological and belief driven episode of LOST , " Ab Aeterno " , after the jump . Read more » … would have just as many thorns . Hello readers ! I 've found time to write again , ( without having to detonate a nuclear bomb , thankfully ! ) and I 'm catching up on my LOST analysis . A look at the different sides of Sawyer / James Ford in the two LOST realities after the jump ! Audiences love their villains . Possibly , because in truth , we all are or were once some sort of villain . For whatever reason , these baddies grasp our attention . An important part of good villains , however , is the chance that they might turn to the good side . Redemption is possible for anyone until they die , and to see an evil person change is an incredible experience . On LOST , it may be possible one of the islands major villains has turned to the light . Or is he bluffing ? An analysis of Benjamin Linus ' character and episode after the jump . Read more » I haven 't seen him for three long months because he 's been away at the United States Marine Corps Basic Training . ( Aka boot camp . ) He 's only going to be home for ten days , so may or may not blog during that time . Obviously , spending time with him comes first . ; ) Have you ever had instances where you want something really , really , really bad ? So bad , you 'd do anything to get it ? It 's so important ; you believe life is worthless without it ? And , have you ever gotten that desire fulfilled … only to find that it wasn 't that favorable , or it has made your life worse ? I call this the " It 's a Wonderful Life " theme . It happens when somebody gets what they wish for , then discovers everything is worse because of it . The account of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden shows one of the most severe cases of this idea . What were the first two humans promised by the serpent if they ate the forbidden fruit ? That their eyes would be opened and they would know good and evil like God did . That is what they got , except not in the way they expected . They now knew evil as well as good because they , by disobeying God 's law , became evil . Instead of fellowship with their creator , they had to seek redemption . Instead of trusting God 's plan for their life , they tried to set their own path , and because obviously , they did not have God 's perfect knowledge , their new life , and the whole earth 's life , was horrible compared to what they could have had . In last week 's episode of LOST , they explored the " It 's a Wonderful Life " aka " Be careful what you wish for ! " theme . After the jump , my thoughts on episode 6x6 : " Sundown " . ( And this time , we have pictures ! ) Fathers are important . Many flaws and conflicts stem from characters ' issues with their father . From Hercules to Luke Skywalker to Inigo Montoya ; many paths and destinies in life are related to how people were treated by their daddies . Verses in the Bible speak of this conept , saying the sins of the fathers are visited on the sons . Other verses show that this does not mean the children are cursed for their fathers ' actions ; rather , it implies two things . One , since parents are responsible for their kids , the actions they take in life affect their offspring greatly . Two , the apple doesn 't fall far from the tree . People usually end up with the same traits and flaws as their parents . This idea of " Daddy Issues " is the overall main theme of the TV show , LOST . - During a earthquake , duck and cover . Stay away from breakables , and DO NOT try to run outside until the quake is over . - Be prepared beforehand . If you haven 't already , get to the store and stock up on water , non perishable food , medical supplies , batteries , flashlights and a propane stove / gas tanks . - In an emergency , you will BE ON YOUR OWN . Stay with your family , and protect your supplies . - DO NOT EXPECT HELP . - Most of all , keep a good outlook on life and find something to live and survive for . Be that religion , family , self preservation , anything you hold dear . You must stay alive during this . - Spend the time you have NOW preparing for disaster . It will eventually come . You should always be ready . When I 'm not being creative , I usually am researching , or writing about the events going on in the world today . In the following post on The Reformation , I discuss how America 's government is beginning to resemble the totalitarian world found in George Orwell 's novel , " 1984 " . Read it at the link below ! Most people lie at some point in their life . Some do so significantly more than others . Those who lie constantly fall into one of the following definitions . ( Definitions by www . askville . amazon . com . ) " Pathological Liar : A pathological liar is usually defined as someone who lies incessantly to get their way and does so with little concern for others . Pathological lying is often viewed as coping mechanism developed in early childhood and it is often associated with some other type of mental health disorder . A pathological liar is often goal - oriented ( i . e . , lying is focused - it is done to get one 's way ) . Pathological liars have little regard or respect for the rights and feelings of others . A pathological liar often comes across as being manipulative , cunning and self - centered . " " Compulsive Liar : A compulsive liar is defined as someone who lies out of habit . Lying is their normal and reflexive way of responding to questions . Compulsive liars bend the truth about everything , large and small . For a compulsive liar , telling the truth is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right . Compulsive lying is usually thought to develop in early childhood , due to being placed in an environment where lying was necessary . For the most part , compulsive liars are not overly manipulative and cunning ( see , Pathological Liar ) , rather they simply lie out of habit - an automatic response which is hard to break and one that takes its toll on a relationship . " Another type of lying is a type everyone suffers from greatly : Self Deception . The Bible tells us the heart is deceitful above all else . We can easily lie to ourselves , considering ourselves to either be greater or less than we are , to fit our preconceived viewpoint , or our prideful wants . Everyone should do a self examination to see who and what we truly are . History is very important to everyone . The history of the world has formed how we currently live . When developing both settings and characters , it is important to create a back - story . Do you have to share any of it with the readers ? Nope ! Sometimes , a back story to your story is so drawn out , it should be embarrassing for you to even reveal it to the populace , and should stay in your mind only ! ( * cough * Star Wars prequels * cough * ) Part of life , is learning about your friends past lives . However , when you meet someone , do you sit down and tell each other your entire past right off the bat ? Usually not ! Al though I know some who do … Anyways , your characters shouldn 't either . Things to think about when developing your characters back story are : their childhood , relations with friends and family , work , hobbies , interests , faith , beliefs , religion , where they grew up , and where and when they have lived . In my script I 'm currently working on , I have a character named Paul , who 's 70 years old , and emigrated from Romania in his 20s or 30s ( yet to be determined . ) In researching that time period of Romania , I learned quite a few things about Paul . First , he grew up with a communistic government , with religious officials being taken to concentration camps . Since , Paul would have attended the Romanian Orthodox Church during his childhood and teenage years while this persecution was happening , how did this shape his view of government , religion , and God ? My research has told me a lot of stuff about this character I hadn 't know before , and will help in deciding what actions he will take during the part of his story that 's shown on screen . As always , a lot of my theatre training helps in working on characters . Later today , I 'm going to be giving my theatre students an exercise in character development , which anyone can use for their own work . The assignment is : where were you right before the play starts ? By figuring out why they are where they are , will help in bringing realistic performances . Have a good day youPosted by While circumstances may be different , character traits never really change . A Human is divided into 3 parts , the body , the spirit , and the soul . Body is physical , and spirit is , well , spiritual . Those two can change , but the inner soul of a character , their distinctive traits and personality , usually doesn 't differ . Here 's my LOST episode recap for 6x3 " What Kate Does " . Read more » All choices in life affect everyone else , even if you don 't realize it . Since stories reflect life , a way to put together a compelling narrative is to show how one character 's actions affect the rest of their world . An example would be how anything Superman does affects the rest of the world ; because if he didn 't do what he does , the world would , well , be destroyed . This theme of the ripple effect ( everything affects everything else ) is evident in the season premiere of LOST . My review of character growth in episodes 6x1 and 6x2 - LA X after the jump . ( spoilers ) What is the most important aspect of storytelling ? In my opinion , it 's characters , because that 's how it works in real life too . Life can have pretty much anything happen in it , same with stories , but , the things people really care about and respond to are other people . Characters can determine the course of action in a story by how they relate to what 's going on around them . If you write a story based on plot , and force your characters to do things to get to a certain predetermined destination of your choice , the characterization will probably fall flat , and your audience won 't care about your characters because they can 't view them as real human beings . So how can you create characters that choose their own path in life , yet still have them arrive at the point necessary for your story ? I call this the " God " factor . ( And this is not meant in a weird spiritual way at all , it simply means you are the creator of , and in control of , your story . ) In a sense , you are God of your story . You create the characters , and give them life and personality , and you also create the world you 're going to put them in . Now , what you can do , is either tell them exactly what to do , or , let them make a choice based on the information you allow them to have . That ' where the story starts . A good part of storytelling is creating characters , then letting their personality and opinions decide what they are going to do next in the situations you 've placed them in . You may know what 's best for your characters , but , as in real life , will your characters listen to you , or decide to try things their own way ? As with Adam and Eve , even if you put them in a perfect environment , they may choose a destructive path . If you think of characters in that sense , you will ( In a God role ) also know what triggers them , or what shuts them down . Then , you can give them situations that will either grow and better them , or send them on a downward spiral ( depending on the needs of your story . ) The most important thing to do as your writing isPosted by For a performing or writing improvisational exercise , take your character and put them in one or more of the following situations , to see how they will react . 1 . Character is at the movie theatre . What movie would they watch ? 2 . Character is at a convenience store , when a masked man comes in with a gun and demands they hand over all the money in the cash box . 3 . Character just won the lottery . 4 . Character is at the car dealership . What sort of car would they buy ? 5 . Character 's beloved pet just died . What do they do ? 6 . Character is going to vote for president . What candidate ? 7 . What is character 's favorite color ? 8 . What is character 's favorite childhood memory . 9 . Character 's relative just died . How do they respond ? 10 . Character just got arrested for shoplifting . Why did they steal , or was it a mistake ? Add more in the comments ! This is a short post to let you know my upcoming plans before i post the first part of my next blog series . First of all , I am currently on a actual film making hiatus . Reason , I need a better microphone . We all know camcorder sound is . . . well , shouldn 't be considered sound . Also , I have a tendency to only be able to write shorts I can actually film at the moment starring my brothers . Though I love my bros , it 's really time to venture to a different age group . ; ) Also , taking this break to really focus more on writing . One of the reasons I figured out I am unsuccessful in getting my film projects done , is because I am never sure what to work on at a given moment . I have several projects that need finishing ! So I 'm limiting my concentration to strictly the following . ( until my A . D . D . kicks in , of course . ;) ) Pinocchio for theatre , one feature film script to work on ( a modern day version of Paul the Apostle ) , and writing both analysis posts and political posts . Hopefully , I 'll be able to get that new mic soon , and be able to film some decent material . ; ) Till then , please enjoy my writing ! My order of more Mini DV tapes came yesterday ! I am planning to film the rest of the PSA this friday . Before then though , new year , new theatre semester ! Pinocchio is going to get underway , and each of my students will be given a riddle they must give an answer for ( in character ) before the play is over . The riddle is : " If Pinocchio says his nose will grow , what will happen ? " The problem for those un - mathematically minded : Pinocchio 's nose grows when he lies , but if he says his nose will grow , is he lying ? But if it grows . . was he telling the truth ? Got a guess ? Leave it as a comment ! So , on that film I was trying to do . I did get a scene filmed , but unfortunately , didn 't have enough time or tape to finish it . The film is a PSA about not wasting time , which is appropriate since that 's what I 've been trying to beat latey . ; ) The mistake I made though , in tyring to do it fast , was actor prep . When you only have an hour to film , and are dealing with children , they don 't work that fast . So I made the decision to film when I get back and theere 's more time . So , when I get back , it 's filming time ! Hi , I 'm Mackenzie Evans Marts , I 'm 19 years old , and I 'm a follower of Jesus Christ ! Trusting in the Lord and His plan is what moves me along this road of life , and I wouldn 't have it any other way ! I direct theatre productions and films , love dancing and reading , and am married to a wonderful Godly man who is a United States Marine .
|
Just got a call from the RE nurse and she did not have good news for me . They have not come to a final protocol for fat girls . If the BMI is over 40 , it 's officially a no - go . 1 ) I don 't make weight at suppression check , diet continues for a full extra month . Don 't think this will happen . I 'm at 238 . 3lbs as of this morning ( have to be below 240 ) and it 's only a few more days so I 'm pretty sure I can keep it down . 2 ) They measure my height again and decide that I 'm 5 ' 4 " instead of 5 ' 5 " . At 5 ' 4 " , my weight has to be 232 . 7lbs or lower in order to make the proper BMI . Not going to happen so that adds another month of this hell . 3 ) The stimulation meds cause me to gain a couple of more pounds that I can 't fight off and I tip the scales at egg retrieval . All of the work and expense of an IVF attempt without being able to finish it . We start all over again with more diet and full IVF attempt for another month . 4 ) They check my height at egg retrieval on a different scale ( it 's at a different facility ) and after all of the work of keeping the weight off despite extra hormones , they still cancel the procedure because I 'm shorter on that scale than on the other one . Once again , all of the work and expense , none of the reward . Considering that everyone will have an hour set aside for my procedure anyway , they can instead spend that hour in the operating room with me ranting and screaming and crying directly at the people who made this decision . Yup , that 's what will happen , right before security physically removes my screaming and ranting ass from the building . I am the anti - dieter . I decided years ago that I 'm happier being fat than I am being on a diet . Seriously , other than not having kids , the whole trying to lose weight thing is the biggest source of misery in my life . So this need to lose a lot of weight really fast has caused me a lot of tears and absolute terror that I would inevitably fail . I haven 't fully succeeded yet ( my weight has popped up before and weigh - in is still 7 days away ) , but I 'll give you a few of the things I 've been doing . Hopefully there 's a tip here that might help someone else . Disclaimer - I do NOT recommend that anyone restrict their diet as rigidly as I have nor to lose weight as quickly as I have . What I 've done is drastic , but there 's simply nothing I won 't do for my kids so I did it . Ok , so now I 'll try to give tips without giving a how - to guide to doing things the unhealthy way . First and foremost - have a supportive partner . Poor K has had his diet restricted too so that he 's not waving food under my nose and he 's had to sit through a few sobbing nights where I screamed about my hungry stomach , how impossible my goal is , and how dare those bastards in white coats force this on me . He 's gone out of his way to figure out how to cook small meals ( large snacks ) with as few calories as possible and will look up the numbers for me before we eat so I don 't accidentally eat more than I 'm allotted for the day . If I tell him I did a mile on the treadmill , he gives me footrubs . Ok , he expects a backrub in return , but still ! Footrubs ! You know what ? That 's my advice for all of this infertility bullshit . Have the right partner . No matter what gender combination you prefer , having the right person by your side is just about necessary for survival through all this . Second - I 'm already on metformin to prevent gestational diabetes and that really helps . Last summer when I originally went on it , I lost 14lbs with no effort at all . If you 're really overweight , and your body is threatening diabetes , discuss this with your doctor . So yeah , I 'm kinda cheating in that I 've got some medicinal help . For the most part , I went old school . Eat less , move more . More calories going out than in . According to calculations , it takes my body 2300 to run and maintain its current weight at my current lifestyle ( of sitting on my ass doing practically nothing ) . 3500 calories = one pound whether that 's going in or being worked off . I signed up for Spark People . No matter how obscure the food , someone has put in the calculations . I have yet to find a food that wasn 't already entered . I plugged in my weight goal , the date of that goal , and it came up with my daily target range . Tracking seriously helped and not having to enter every little bit of the nutrition label myself made tracking actually happen this time . I 've done Weight Watchers before , but this was SOOOOO much easier . I bought some hydroxycut products and coincidentally had an appointment with my GP the next day . I took those to him , had him read over the ingredient list , and he threw them away . In their place , he gave me some samples of Alli . Disclaimer again - this stuff won 't do the work for you , but if you work to lose 5lbs , it will help take off an extra one or two for you . I only took a pill when I ate something with fat in it and did NOT go over 3 pills a day . I often only took 1 or 2 per day . Apparently it grabs the fat you 're eating and flushes it out of your body before it can be absorbed . Protein , protein , protein . This is the key . It 's filler , it 's energy , and it 's low calorie . When we went diet grocery shopping , we stocked up on snackable proteins . 90 calorie packs of lunch meat that I just eat on it 's own , one slice at a time . Mush up some beans and put those on celery instead of peanut butter because they are lower in calories . Cheese sticks . Shellfish - great source of protein . We got some precooked shrimp that we kept in the fridge . I would snack on that when I just wanted one or two bites to tide me over for an hour . The cocktail sauce for shrimp cocktail is also pretty low calorie . Crab was on sale so we had a dinner of nothing more than a steamed dungeness crab and some melted butter . Took forever to eat but even with the butter the whole meal was less than 200 calories and I felt stuffed . I made lattes at home using this thing and an old espresso maker who 's frother is broken . Instead of my usual 16oz white chocolate mocha , I made a 12 ounce with sugar free vanilla syrup and 1 % milk . Sometimes I would use half a shot of regular sugared syrup and it only added a few calories . Honestly , this is the best balance for me . I tried a lot of other breakfasts , but as soon as I went back to a latte of some sort , I felt decent during the day . The milk has the right amount of fat and protein , and the espresso gives you a little caffeine kick to help you get going . Fatty spread substitutes - I love the texture of fatty foods like cream cheese . But obviously , those were out . Instead , quacamole , bean dip , cauliflower puree with some fat free cheese . Sorry , but I couldn 't find any kind of low calorie peanut butter . I tried , as far as I can tell , it doesn 't exist . Oh , and I Can 't Believe It 's Not Butter spray for popcorn and rice . Thin out the fat so a little goes a long way . I had a veggie lunch platter with ranch sauce . I emptied out half the sauce and replaced it with a fat free ranch . Mixing the two took away the bitter of the fat free stuff , and then I only ate a little bit of it on my veggies . Yes , it 's more calories than going with the fat free stuff alone , but much more satisfying for only a few calories . A good trade off . Fruits - go for the filling fruits and eat them with a dash of protein so you don 't get a sugar crash later . The protien ( like cheese ) will carry that sugar energy in your body longer so you don 't spike then crash . Fruits have some calories to them , so make them count . Melons are good . Cherries are nice and dense but are also a diuretic , so be careful with those . Water - I keep a plastic cup and straw with me at all times . I like a lot of ice so it 's hard to measure how much water I 'm actually drinking . So I put a 72oz jug of water in the fridge every morning , told my hubby to leave it for me , and then made it my goal to finish off that jug every day . Didn 't usually make that goal , but I got close . Split servings in half . Half a chicken breast . Half the cocktail sauce . Half the bread . If you want the other half , you can go back for it , but you 'll often find you don 't need it . Deconstruct what you usually eat and only eat certain components . I like Reuben sandwiches . Today , I put 2oz of deli corned beef on my plate , half a cup of sauerkraut , and indulged in a tablespoon ( serving size is 2 tablespoons ! ) of thousand island dressing over the sauerkraut and ate it with a fork . 130 calories and the flavors I actually wanted . Think a lot of snacks , not meals . If you 're hungry , eat 100 - 200 calories and make sure some of it is protein ( again , I love the deli meat packs ) . That will hold off hunger for an hour or two . Then do it again . If you satisfy yourself like this all day , if you 're awake 16 hours per day and you eat something every 2 hours , that 's about 1600 calories per day . That will get you there and your body will know that you 're going to keep feeding it and hopefully not go into starvation mode . Exercise is my nemesis . I tried a Krav Maga class and I wanted to die before we finished the warm up . 20 minutes in , I was in the bathroom trying to stave off the dry heaves . But I knew I couldn 't do this on diet alone . The acupuncturist recommended that even if I could only exercise for 5 minutes , do it before eating anything in the morning to ensure that the body is burning up its own reserves and not what you just ate . So every day , I 've been on the treadmill at a slow speed for 10 - 15 minutes first thing in the morning , and then again later in the day for a total of around 30 minutes a day . Thank you Mom and Dad for the hand - me - down treadmill ! We hooked up an old computer on a table next to the treadmill which also serves as a DVD player . Nice screen , and you 've got all of youtube and your dvd collection to keep you company . Hubby got me The Kids in the Hall : Complete Series Megaset for Christmas last year and I 've been working my way through those . It 's really good because it 's only 2 - 5 minutes of commitment to watch through the next sketch . Keeping yourself on the treadmill for just another 2 - 5 minutes , until the next sketch is over , it tacks on a lot of minutes when you otherwise would have gotten off the darned thing . If you go to a gym , get the Netflix app for your phone and stream from that . Ok , and I 'll also say get a hobby that keeps your hands busy . I have a new job doing pottery which in one way doesn 't help matters . I have to sit on my butt when I 'm working . On the other hand , it 's really hard to eat when your hands are covered in clay ! Just decided that I don 't care if my water cup is dirty on the outside and that 's all I have in my studio with me . If I want to eat , gotta make some effort to do it . Hopefully something here can be integrated into what you 're already doing for yourself . I 've been miserable , but I 'm surviving . And I 'm succeeding at the one thing in life that I 've failed at every single day for more than 30 years . It 's not fun . Others aren 't enjoying it . But , when it 's important enough , if I can do it , ANYONE , and I 'm looking at YOU " but I 'm the exception that will always fail " person out there , ANYONE can make progress . I 'm not going to claim that anyone can be thin , I certainly don 't expect to ever be , but anyone can make some progress , turn that into the new status quo , and then make a little more progress again later . I emailed my RE nurse and asked her to get someone who is making these decisions to guarantee that once I do the weigh - in at suppression check , that 's it . I can eat like a normal person and I won 't be weighed again . It 's pretty obvious that the day I start eating a standard diet again , I 'm going to pack on a couple of pounds overnight . Especially once we add more hormones to the mix . Once I get that suppression check weigh - in done , I want to start strengthening my body to support a pregnancy , not continue depriving it . The last thing I want to do is think that I 've finished , all is good , go out for a meal , and then have to weigh - in again a week later and having all of my hard work be thrown out the window . It would be deathly devastating to have to look at myself in the mirror and know that I sacrificed my kids for a fucking cheeseburger . She called me and said that as of right now , they can 't guarantee that . She 's forwarding my email to the doctor , but he 's not the final decision maker either . He 's the one fighting the corporation to get some policies in place that will allow them to treat us fat girls . But because those policies are being written right now , they are changing every 5 minutes . And until they are solid , I can 't count on any leeway at any point . Here 's the Yay - Spot has been found alive and well ! The cougar didn 't get him , he got trapped under the neighbors house when they were setting rat traps . She heard him meowing last night , checked this morning , and came over to tell K that he 's been found . A whole lot of dust and cobwebs and a can of food later and Spot is running around the neighborhood as he should be ! Here 's the argh . I weighed myself last night . 245 . 5 . Cried for an hour or so . I 'm eating less than 1 , 000 calories per day and my weight is bouncing back up instead of pushing down . I think that 241 . 2 was as low as it 's going to bounce and that 's not good enough . So we might not get to do this cycle . This morning , 244 . 5 . I 've only got 12 days to get it to 240 . I 'm miserable because I 'm eating so little and I 'm terrified because I 'm not getting the results I need . I 'm practically back to where I started even though I haven 't eaten anything . K recommended we donate a pint of blood the morning of weigh - in . That outta be a pound or so . Yes , I 'm actually considering it as a viable option . The clinic is literally trying to write the policies for fat girl egg retrievals as I 'm living the experience . But the policies aren 't on paper just yet , so there 's no guarantee that they will be by the time I need to move forward . So we are back to the question of go or no go depending on my weight . And my weight has sprung back up . And they 've determined that a BMI of 40 won 't cut it , it has to be BELOW 40 . So we can 't just say I hit 40 the other day and run with it . This is gonna be rough . My body has already experienced that initial whoosh of weight loss one gets the first week or two of a diet . It 's now gone into fight mode so I 'm gonna have to fight to get every ounce off that I can . And it 's gonna come down to that last fraction of a pound at the last minute . And it 's possible that when she said a BMI of 39 , she meant 39 even and not 39 . 9 ( waiting to hear back on that clarification ) . If it 's 39 even , this simply isn 't going to happen . I would have to get to 234 . 5 and I don 't see that happening for at least a month , perhaps 2 . In the beginning of our relationship , the universe seemed to send me a deer whenever I was concerned about whether or not I found the right guy . A few months into dating , K and I decided to work on a play together , he directed , I stage managed . I was concerned that working together would turn into one of those high drama situations where we would drive each other crazy and end up hating each other . Partway through the rehearsal process , we are leaving a rehearsal , each in our separate cars . K is ahead of me and for no apparent reason , he stops and gets out of his car . When I get up to him , I can see from his headlights that there is a herd of deer crossing our path ! Not just 1 deer , an entire herd ! We weren 't out in the boonies either , we were in a suburban neighborhood of Salem , MA . It took about 5 minutes for that herd to fully pass . A few months later , I brought K to Seattle to meet my family . We went to visit his uncle who is also in the area and at one point , we were invited to spend the night which K knew I didn 't want to do , but he didn 't say anything which forced me to speak up and find a polite way to decline the situation . As I seethed , trying to figure out how to communicate to K that we were going to have our first argument ever as soon as we were alone , we had to stop to allow a deer to cross the road . And later in that trip , we had to swerve to avoid hitting yet another deer . And now , on the first day of my IVF treatment , I 'm sent a cougar . I 've never seen a cougar in real life before and they aren 't exactly a common occurrence here in suburban Bothell . I 've certainly never heard reports of them being here before ! So let 's see what we can find out about this 200lb symbol that showed up on my doorstep last night . From The Earth Angel Connection - Cougar is about personal power . When cougar appears in our life , it is time to learn about power , strength , and using the personal tools we have been gifted with by spirit . Learning to be assertive . I 'm feeling pretty good about that symbolism . Does it say motherhood is in my future ? No , not really . But it 's about leadership and personal power . Balance . Courage . Sounds like motherhood qualities to me . And we all know how powerless I 've been feeling on this journey . So , perhaps the mountain lion on my doorstep was bringing me the power I need for this ( hopefully ) last struggle to get there ? And to provide the ability to be a leader without being a total bitch about it ? Not the exact sign I wanted the universe to send me , but considering all of the bad omens I could have been sent , this seems like a good omen to me ! I 'll take it ! So here we go on another IVF leap of faith . PS - K was just reading up on cougars too . How elusive they are and they are rarely seen . In his words , I 've been " given a gift " . That 's really odd wording for K . If either of us is hippy dippy , it 's me . I thought he must have read this post and then went looking around for info so he could comment . Nope , he hasn 't read this yet . Say Hi to the folks in the comments when you do get around to reading this Honey ! I live in the suburbs ! ! I knew we had coyotes but I 've never seen one . But a friggin mountain lion , on my deck ! ? ! ? ! ? ! Chasing one of my kitties and the raccoons off my deck ! Just for shits and giggles , I 'm gonna keep track of every needle that enters my body for this IVF attempt ! I 'm doing acupuncture this round and that 's going to drastically increase my needle count , so I 'm counting those separately . Keep track with me in the chart on the right . We 're currently not sure what to do with my weight . My doctor has been battling behind the scenes and has succeeded in changing policy so that fat girls can do egg retrievals . And continuing with the theme of my horrible timing , this man was telling me 9 days ago that if my BMI is above 40 , we can 't do an egg retrieval at all . So policy is literally being determined and written at the exact moments that I 'm walking through those policies . At my blood draw / ultrasound today , they did my vitals as well . My weight today - 241 . 2 and they still think I 'm 5 ' 5 " . I 've lost 6 . 2lbs in the last 9 days . Yay me ! At 5 ' 5 " , my weight needs to be no higher than 240 . 5 in order to register as a BMI of 40 . So when my nurse walked in and says " You did it ! " I 'm asking her " what did I do ? " They recorded my BMI at 40 so I think a technician fudged a number on my behalf . Not complaining . But here 's the thing . They still don 't have the policy written that determines at what point in the process your BMI is to be recorded . Is it the first day of BCP ? Is it at suppression check ? They don 't know yet . They hope to have an answer for me by Friday , but like I said , my timing is just brilliant . SOOOOOO , if they decide that it 's the first day of BCP , I 'm golden ! I did it , they put that number on the record for me , pass the nachos and let 's do this ! But if they decide that it 's at suppression check , then I need to continue the diet for another 2 weeks to make sure no ounces pack themselves back onto my frame . I 'd probably want to lose another 2lbs just to be on the safe side . I will not be having surgery tomorrow . My symptoms are inconsistent with gallbladder issues and more consistent with a slightly strained muscle . Possibly due to the all of the pottery I 've been doing ( it requires a lot of flexing and stressing of the right leg ) . The fact that they found gallstones was just a coincidence . And even under the worst of circumstances , if for some reason those stones do flair up during a pregnancy , it can be dealt with pretty safely then . And since my body decided to do it 's own thing on it 's own schedule , we get to move forward with IVF immediately . I start BCP tomorrow , and my weight will be taken on Aug 4 to determine if they can do the egg retrieval in the office or if I need to go to a hospital facility . Behind the scenes , they seem to have figured out the logistics of doing an egg retrieval on a fat girl so my weight no longer determines a go or no go , but rather the logistics of the go and how much it will cost . Cross your fingers . With the calendar I 've been given , my beta blood test to determine whether or not I get pregnant will be on Aug 30th , the one year anniversary of the day I became pregnant with my girls . And any new little ones that might come along will be due the week of our family birthdays . That means 3 things . 1 ) If I have the gallbladder surgery , we have to delay IVF by a month . Obviously , I don 't want to do that , but in the grand scheme of things , I have to get over it if removing the gallbladder is necessary . 2 ) My weigh - in to determine if I 'm under the BMI of 40 will be on August 4th . Two and a half weeks to lose the additional 3lbs or so that I need to lose . Of course , it would be easier to crash diet myself down for two weeks and have it done with rather than lose it slowly and then maintain until the next potential weigh - in six weeks from now . 3 ) If we follow the calendar that is currently written , we will confirm or deny the pregnancy on August 30th . That 's the one year anniversary of the implant date for my girls . That would also put the babies due date in the first or second week of May , also known as our wedding anniversary and both of our birthdays . So , we now have a lot riding on what the surgeon recommends tomorrow . My gallbladder is such that if not for the potential pregnancy , we probably wouldn 't even be considering taking it out . It 's not like it 's a medical necessity at the moment and I 'm a bit gun shy to remove an organ based on a maybe . We 'll be asking the surgeon for all sorts of worse case scenarios and what the likelihood would be of running across those . Here 's what I 'm REALLY hoping he tells me . I 'm hoping that he 's more conservative and prefers not to remove organs unless there 's a medical need . I 'm hoping that he tells me we should just do some laser stuff that will break up the gallstones making them less likely to cause any problems over the course of the next year . That would be the best case scenario at the moment . And once again , our calendar goes wonky ! The last few months , my cycle has had a fairly predictable cycle . First time in my life , but being able to predict was kind of awesome . So we were expecting a cycle start for July on or near the 28th . We figured that would make the August cycle undoable cuz I wouldn 't be able to lose the weight fast enough to be under the BMI cut off point at the start of that cycle . So we figured that we would be starting this hullaballoo again at the end of August . And then I got a mini - period this weekend . Hmmmmmmm , well , ok . Not quite what I had planned . I email my doc with this news and tell him that my weight loss is progressing nicely ( officially 4 . 8lbs this week ! Only 3lbs to go ! ) , and if I need to do a full cycle of BCP before we do the real IVF stuff , let 's go ahead and get that going . He writes back that the clinic just about has the logistics of egg retrievals for fat women hammered out so the weight loss might not be as vital as it was , and yes , let 's do a month of BCP . So , I 'll be starting my month of BCP tomorrow , a period expected mid August , and then we are doing the crazy part of IVF ! Hopefully to confirm a brand new pregnancy the last week of September . But did you catch that part about the weight loss thing ? It might not be a matter of saying yes or no to a cycle anymore . But rather the logistics of doing the retrieval within the office , or having to use a hospital facility for another $ 2 , 000 . So the stakes on my weight loss have diminished greatly . If I fail to get under 240lbs , it won 't cost me a baby , it will cost me about $ 2 , 000 . This mornings weigh - in , 242 . 6lbs . So obviously , I 'm gonna go for it . $ 2 , 000 is a lot of money to save and I don 't want there to be any chance of them changing their minds . So I think I have about 4 weeks until I start my next period to lose that last 3lbs . That is totally doable . In other news , I consult with the surgeon tomorrow about my gallbladder . There 's a 50 / 50 chance that I 'll be having it removed on Wednesday . Hey ! That 's half a pound right there ! Woot ! And if you know me at all , you know that the magic word to get me to do anything is INFECTION . That word just sends me into a panic . Since we want to start an ivf cycle in about 6 weeks , this decision will need to be made , immediatelyish . Like going under the knife early next week . Please tell me your stories in the comments . Have you had it removed ? What were the life implications ( like diet and such ) afterwards ? What should I know and factor into my decision making ? In case anyone would like to hang out with me on Google + , I am findable . My name there is Alex Remon . Drop me a line and tell me that you know me from this blog . According to the website where I 'm tracking my food , I 've eaten just under 1 , 000 calories today . In order to reach my goal weight by the last week of August , I 'm supposed to eat between 1 , 500 - 1 , 850 calories per day . So in theory , I 've only eaten 2 / 3 of my daily allotment of food , and I made sure it was decent food . But I 'm afraid to go to the fridge or cupboards and get something else . If I eat one more thing , I 'm afraid I 'll eat 20 . Maybe it 's because I really haven 't eaten very much and yet a lot of calories have been used up . It 's only a goal of 8lbs over 6 weeks . Nice and slow and everything . But I feel like if I count on the plan working as slowly as it 's designed to , it won 't work at all . Like if I do that standard diet thing of losing 5lbs really fast in the first week or two , then I 'll have a lot of time left to lose the last couple of lbs . But if I try to do it slow , I can 't count on those last 2lbs coming off in those last 2 weeks like they need to and then I 'll be totally screwed . The stakes are so high , and I 've been failing at losing weight for so many years , I 'm kind of petrified myself into severity . I 'm such an all or nothing person . I need to work on that . Here 's the big fat issue in the room - my big fat butt . They have established their policies and settled on only doing egg retrievals for patients under a BMI of 40 . And the reasoning makes me want to tear my hair out . They have the anesthesia people in one building who are willing to do a retrieval for us fatties . They have transfer facilities so that the retrieved eggs can be placed back into a big fat uterus . However , they do not have a means of transporting the embryos from one place to another . But here 's the good news . When they took my height and weight measurements today , they established that I 'm 5 ' 5 " . I 'm really , really not that tall . I 've always been 5 ' 3 1 / 2 " , maybe 5 ' 4 " on a really good day . When she said I 'm 5 ' 5 " , I corrected her like a good girl , and she measure again , twice . And the technician still claims that I 'm 5 " 5 " . I did my part in correcting her , I 'm not going to argue and force her to say I 'm shorter than she wants to say I am . And my weight ( once I took my jeans off ) was measured at 247 . 4 . That puts me at a BMI of 41 . By their calculations , if I can get under 240 , I 'm eligible for IVF again . So an August cycle is off the table . I officially have 6 weeks to lose 7 . 5lbs so we can go for a September cycle . It 's going to be one hell of a challenge for me , but it 's still a lot more doable than 14lbs . But I 'm really scared that I 'm going to fail . I was 244lbs when I got married 6 years ago . And 18 months ago , I was 266lbs . So by the way , can I get a little credit for the nearly 20lbs that I 've already lost ? And 4 months of that time was spent pregnant with twins , so I think I 've made a shit ton of progress in the last 18 months . Personally , I think these products are bullshit . If there really were a magic diet pill that actually worked , America would be thin and it ain 't . However , the fiber full drink actually tastes pretty good and fiber can 't be a bad thing . If having that extra fiber puts off my feeling hungry for an extra hour , bonus . And the Hydroxycut , well , I really think that 's bullshit , but it does have a lot of folic acid in it . I couldn 't find any ingredients that seemed harmful and folic acid is a primary ingredient in prenatal vitamins ( which I 'm not taking while taking this stuff ) so I don 't see any harm in trying this product . But , there 's a very slim chance in hell that these products might assist me in losing weight ( on top of the move more , eat less real diet I 'll be trying to follow ) , that few extra ounces could mean the difference between getting pregnant in September or having to wait another month . I hate to be an idiot buying into the hype , but it 's worse to disregard a potential avenue for assistance in order to save my pride . I will also be calling an acupuncturist and hopefully starting treatment . Studies show that they do increase pregnancy odds . Again , I 'm calling bullshit , but even though I think it 's a hippy dippy fad , I 'm gonna go for it . And some people use acupuncture to assist with weight loss as well . The onus is on me of course . Move more , eat less . And on that note , I 'll be trying my first Krav Maga class tonight . I 'm fat , angry , and feeling powerless . I 'm hoping that kicking learning how to kick some ass for an hour will assist with all three of those problems . And as for Dr . Douchebag . He 's got some things going for him . Behind the scenes , he really is trying to get these issues worked out so that they can offer treatment to us big girls . So he is fighting on my behalf in that regard . And who knows , by September , he might have the transport issue figured out so I can go ahead even if I do fail at the weight loss ( but I 'm certainly not counting on that happening ) . However , I brought up the little joke he made . The reaction I wanted was a truly remorseful apology for making me feel so crappy . Even if he couldn 't see the problem in what was actually said , I wanted him to feel bad simply for making me feel bad . But what I got was a defensive list of rationales for why it wasn 't so horrible and a placating apology . And for that reason , he remains Dr . Douchebag . And as for why I 'm sticking with Dr . Douchebag - well , the other primary clinic in the area has the same BMI restrictions . So by the time I worked my ass off to find someone who would treat a big girl , do all the preliminary testing that needs to be done , got the money back from my prepaid plan with Dr . D and applied it to somewhere else , well frak , it 's September before we could go ahead anyway and there 's no guarantee I 'll like a new guy any better anyway . If I stick with where I am , I don 't have to deal with all that bullshit and I 'll have the added bonus of being a pant - size smaller come September anyway . I 'd love some encouragement from everyone over the next 6 weeks . I 'm going to be tackling the biggest failure in my life that has been a consistent failure for over 30 years . And I 'm doing it with a deadline and the highest stakes imaginable . PS - just a little note about an hour after I wrote this post . Don 't take the 2 pills of the hydroxycut on the first day , especially if the only thing in your body is your favorite Starbucks drink . I think I 'm currently a little over caffeinated and a bit jittery . Can 't wait to see the results of what I make on the pottery wheel in the next hour while I 'm like this . There 's a lot of talk about how men seem to get over it immediately and that 's it for them while we women seem to relive our pain over and over and over again . That 's not really true . Men appear to get over things quickly because they see their job as fixing things and taking care of others . And when their woman is crying , they get to take care of someone and suppress their own bad feelings . Yay ! And K has really been taking care of me the last several months . While I come up with a million and one disaster scenarios , he insists on not worrying about things until they happen . I 'm a pessimist , he 's an optimist . I think he 's been holding himself together through all of this by keeping up hope that the FET would work . And when it didn 't , he sank . He 's been a bit mopey , not exercising , not motivated to do anything , classic depression . And the other day , he sank lower than I 've ever seen him . Scary low . So we were stuck in a bit of a quandary . Do we treat this emotionally ? Make him really go through the pain and hope that he gets beyond it ? Or do we treat it physically by giving him some chemical lifts with natural endorphins or medications ? Well , K is not good at talking about emotions and I had a little fear that all that would do is push him deeper into it . And the depression had taken on a physical manifestation and I figured that talking wouldn 't solve the physical symptoms . We talked , and I recommended he make an appointment with our GP to maybe get him on some meds for the short term . Just long enough to get his feet back under him . My theory was to get him feeling better physically and then see what emotional baggage was left over and deal with it then . And I told him that I was going to really pester him to get back to the gym . He hasn 't been going since we were both sick almost 2 months ago . I 've found the perfect motivator too . " Honey , you need to spend an hour tomorrow doing something to make yourself feel better . Your options are to go to the gym , or we can sit and talk about our feelings . " He went to the gym . The next day , poof ! He 's 50 % better . And then the next day , he 's practically back to himself ! I 'm telling you , the dude was DEPRESSED and bam ! Over it ! No meds , just a day at the gym and a good nights sleep . I 'm really glad he 's back , but how does he DO that ? ? ? Of course the IVF stuff means getting blood draws , ultrasounds , etc every couple of days . Then during the pregnancy , I was getting ultrasounds and / or general OB appointments at least every 2 weeks , seeing the peri about the gestational diabetes , etc , etc . Then after the miscarriage , it was consultations with the IVF people , follow - ups with the OB , a mole scabbed over sending me to the dermatologist , a few appointments for stomach issues with K , the IVF people again for the FET that we only got halfway through , then to my GP due to the prolactin elevation and potential brain tumor , and back to the IVF people for the most recent FET . This last week I realized that this low grade pain I 've had on the right side of my abdomen for the last month hasn 't gone away . I first noticed it the day that I put all 4 Vivelle dots on the right side of my belly . I figured that mild pain was simply too much of the medication localized to one area since the pain was right under them , so for the rest of the treatment I made sure to spread them out evenly . But the pain never really subsided and it didn 't change locations in accordance to where I put the dots . But it 's very low grade . Like a 1 or 2 on the pain scale of 10 . So I call up my GP and he 's on vacation this week . No problem , it hardly hurts , I 'm in no rush . But the person I 'm talking to on the phone seems to think that I really need to be seen , oh , immediatelyish . So she makes me an appointment for the next day with another doctor . Have I ever had any abdominal surgery ? Yes . I had a D & E in December . He doesn 't know what that abbreviation stands for so I have to tell him and it clicks with him what kind of really shitty year I 've had . Because he sees in my records all the fertility treatments that I 've been going through and he spends about 2 minutes just being stunned at what a crappy life the woman in front of him is currently living . He checks my ears and my eyes , double checks my skin ( looking for jaundice ) , stethoscope and heavy breathing ensues , and he presses around my stomach for a bit and finds the tender spots . By the end of the appointment , he 's not thinking appendix , he 's thinking gallbladder . Collected urine , blood , and sent me to get an ultrasound early the next morning . Side note - I 'm actually very impressed , his assistant ( technician ? Seriously , am I insulting people when I don 't know their proper titles ? I gotta learn these things at some point . ) actually got blood very easily from the vein that 's been running away from the IVF vampires . And here 's the kicker , she even recorded my own damned heartbeat on one of those things like a fetal doppler ( but it 's not fetal so just doppler ? ) . So instead of hearing the double speed heartbeat of a fetus , I 'm hearing just mine , normal speed , all alone . I really wasn 't prepared for that . The GP doesn 't have the imaging results yet , but the bloodwork and urine tests are all good . To my own untrained eyes that 's been googling gallbladders and gallstones , I think I saw what I would interpret to be gallstones . It looked like a sack with pebbles sitting in it . Of course , I could have been looking at my spleen for all I know . I 've asked if gallstones are anything that can complicate a pregnancy at all and while I don 't have a diagnosis yet , I 've been told that there 's no reason not to move forward with my fertility stuff . The people I 've spoken to who can 't give me a diagnosis because they aren 't technically my doctor , well basically we all seem to think that if it 's gallstones , there 's really nothing to do about it , just wait and at some point I 'll probably attempt to pass one and will be in a lot of pain while I do that . But as for pregnancy , no , it 's not a potential complication . So what 's on my agenda for next week ? Well , meeting with my IVF doctor ( Dr . Douchebag from recent posts ) for a follow up on the failed FET and planning for the next attempt . That 's Monday morning . Tuesday evening , I 've been asked to join a paid focus group to discuss my experience with the medical facility that handled my mammogram . I agreed to do it because well , I 'm the one who wrote a letter about how they need to qualitative research and now that they 're doing it , I figured I should be cooperative . Not to mention , I 'm a freelancer in a recession . A hundred bucks is a hundred bucks . Then Thursday I have a follow - up with my GP to either reach a diagnosis or continue investigating this pain in my side . That means that next week will have a minimum of 2 doctors appointments , and 1 appointment where I discuss my doctors appointments . Depending on what the GP sees when he gets the ultrasound results , I might be heading for a cat scan the week after . Then ( hopefully ) , we probably start another IVF cycle a week or two after that . The 4th was how I introduced K to my family . 9 years ago , we had been dating for a few months , living in Massachusetts , and on a whim , I invited him to travel to Seattle with me to meet my family . And being the brave man that he is , he decided to come west with me and met my family , everybody , all at once . The clan is pretty darned intimidating just due to the sheer number of them , and he tackled them head on . It was a great day , yielded some stories that we 'll tell for decades to come , and my cousin snapped one of my favorite pictures ever taken of me ( us ) . Yes , I 'm actually going to show you all a picture of me for a change . This is K and I , 9 years ago when we were first dating . I 'm feeling a little too independent today . Today probably would have been the debut of my girls . They would have been about 2 months old for this holiday and I can 't help but think that I would have been just about ready to get the hell out of the house and attempt taking them somewhere . Every parental figure in my life would be there , probably passing them around for goo - gooing , giving me a few minutes here and there to be baby free after 2 months of constant babies . Well , I 'm baby free . And I 'm sticking around the house . Not going up to the cabin with a million cousins who either care too much , or don 't care enough about what I 'm going through ( because there is no perfect level of caring that will make me feel comfortable ) .
|
Just got a call from the RE nurse and she did not have good news for me . They have not come to a final protocol for fat girls . If the BMI is over 40 , it 's officially a no - go . 1 ) I don 't make weight at suppression check , diet continues for a full extra month . Don 't think this will happen . I 'm at 238 . 3lbs as of this morning ( have to be below 240 ) and it 's only a few more days so I 'm pretty sure I can keep it down . 2 ) They measure my height again and decide that I 'm 5 ' 4 " instead of 5 ' 5 " . At 5 ' 4 " , my weight has to be 232 . 7lbs or lower in order to make the proper BMI . Not going to happen so that adds another month of this hell . 3 ) The stimulation meds cause me to gain a couple of more pounds that I can 't fight off and I tip the scales at egg retrieval . All of the work and expense of an IVF attempt without being able to finish it . We start all over again with more diet and full IVF attempt for another month . 4 ) They check my height at egg retrieval on a different scale ( it 's at a different facility ) and after all of the work of keeping the weight off despite extra hormones , they still cancel the procedure because I 'm shorter on that scale than on the other one . Once again , all of the work and expense , none of the reward . Considering that everyone will have an hour set aside for my procedure anyway , they can instead spend that hour in the operating room with me ranting and screaming and crying directly at the people who made this decision . Yup , that 's what will happen , right before security physically removes my screaming and ranting ass from the building . I am the anti - dieter . I decided years ago that I 'm happier being fat than I am being on a diet . Seriously , other than not having kids , the whole trying to lose weight thing is the biggest source of misery in my life . So this need to lose a lot of weight really fast has caused me a lot of tears and absolute terror that I would inevitably fail . I haven 't fully succeeded yet ( my weight has popped up before and weigh - in is still 7 days away ) , but I 'll give you a few of the things I 've been doing . Hopefully there 's a tip here that might help someone else . Disclaimer - I do NOT recommend that anyone restrict their diet as rigidly as I have nor to lose weight as quickly as I have . What I 've done is drastic , but there 's simply nothing I won 't do for my kids so I did it . Ok , so now I 'll try to give tips without giving a how - to guide to doing things the unhealthy way . First and foremost - have a supportive partner . Poor K has had his diet restricted too so that he 's not waving food under my nose and he 's had to sit through a few sobbing nights where I screamed about my hungry stomach , how impossible my goal is , and how dare those bastards in white coats force this on me . He 's gone out of his way to figure out how to cook small meals ( large snacks ) with as few calories as possible and will look up the numbers for me before we eat so I don 't accidentally eat more than I 'm allotted for the day . If I tell him I did a mile on the treadmill , he gives me footrubs . Ok , he expects a backrub in return , but still ! Footrubs ! You know what ? That 's my advice for all of this infertility bullshit . Have the right partner . No matter what gender combination you prefer , having the right person by your side is just about necessary for survival through all this . Second - I 'm already on metformin to prevent gestational diabetes and that really helps . Last summer when I originally went on it , I lost 14lbs with no effort at all . If you 're really overweight , and your body is threatening diabetes , discuss this with your doctor . So yeah , I 'm kinda cheating in that I 've got some medicinal help . For the most part , I went old school . Eat less , move more . More calories going out than in . According to calculations , it takes my body 2300 to run and maintain its current weight at my current lifestyle ( of sitting on my ass doing practically nothing ) . 3500 calories = one pound whether that 's going in or being worked off . I signed up for Spark People . No matter how obscure the food , someone has put in the calculations . I have yet to find a food that wasn 't already entered . I plugged in my weight goal , the date of that goal , and it came up with my daily target range . Tracking seriously helped and not having to enter every little bit of the nutrition label myself made tracking actually happen this time . I 've done Weight Watchers before , but this was SOOOOO much easier . I bought some hydroxycut products and coincidentally had an appointment with my GP the next day . I took those to him , had him read over the ingredient list , and he threw them away . In their place , he gave me some samples of Alli . Disclaimer again - this stuff won 't do the work for you , but if you work to lose 5lbs , it will help take off an extra one or two for you . I only took a pill when I ate something with fat in it and did NOT go over 3 pills a day . I often only took 1 or 2 per day . Apparently it grabs the fat you 're eating and flushes it out of your body before it can be absorbed . Protein , protein , protein . This is the key . It 's filler , it 's energy , and it 's low calorie . When we went diet grocery shopping , we stocked up on snackable proteins . 90 calorie packs of lunch meat that I just eat on it 's own , one slice at a time . Mush up some beans and put those on celery instead of peanut butter because they are lower in calories . Cheese sticks . Shellfish - great source of protein . We got some precooked shrimp that we kept in the fridge . I would snack on that when I just wanted one or two bites to tide me over for an hour . The cocktail sauce for shrimp cocktail is also pretty low calorie . Crab was on sale so we had a dinner of nothing more than a steamed dungeness crab and some melted butter . Took forever to eat but even with the butter the whole meal was less than 200 calories and I felt stuffed . I made lattes at home using this thing and an old espresso maker who 's frother is broken . Instead of my usual 16oz white chocolate mocha , I made a 12 ounce with sugar free vanilla syrup and 1 % milk . Sometimes I would use half a shot of regular sugared syrup and it only added a few calories . Honestly , this is the best balance for me . I tried a lot of other breakfasts , but as soon as I went back to a latte of some sort , I felt decent during the day . The milk has the right amount of fat and protein , and the espresso gives you a little caffeine kick to help you get going . Fatty spread substitutes - I love the texture of fatty foods like cream cheese . But obviously , those were out . Instead , quacamole , bean dip , cauliflower puree with some fat free cheese . Sorry , but I couldn 't find any kind of low calorie peanut butter . I tried , as far as I can tell , it doesn 't exist . Oh , and I Can 't Believe It 's Not Butter spray for popcorn and rice . Thin out the fat so a little goes a long way . I had a veggie lunch platter with ranch sauce . I emptied out half the sauce and replaced it with a fat free ranch . Mixing the two took away the bitter of the fat free stuff , and then I only ate a little bit of it on my veggies . Yes , it 's more calories than going with the fat free stuff alone , but much more satisfying for only a few calories . A good trade off . Fruits - go for the filling fruits and eat them with a dash of protein so you don 't get a sugar crash later . The protien ( like cheese ) will carry that sugar energy in your body longer so you don 't spike then crash . Fruits have some calories to them , so make them count . Melons are good . Cherries are nice and dense but are also a diuretic , so be careful with those . Water - I keep a plastic cup and straw with me at all times . I like a lot of ice so it 's hard to measure how much water I 'm actually drinking . So I put a 72oz jug of water in the fridge every morning , told my hubby to leave it for me , and then made it my goal to finish off that jug every day . Didn 't usually make that goal , but I got close . Split servings in half . Half a chicken breast . Half the cocktail sauce . Half the bread . If you want the other half , you can go back for it , but you 'll often find you don 't need it . Deconstruct what you usually eat and only eat certain components . I like Reuben sandwiches . Today , I put 2oz of deli corned beef on my plate , half a cup of sauerkraut , and indulged in a tablespoon ( serving size is 2 tablespoons ! ) of thousand island dressing over the sauerkraut and ate it with a fork . 130 calories and the flavors I actually wanted . Think a lot of snacks , not meals . If you 're hungry , eat 100 - 200 calories and make sure some of it is protein ( again , I love the deli meat packs ) . That will hold off hunger for an hour or two . Then do it again . If you satisfy yourself like this all day , if you 're awake 16 hours per day and you eat something every 2 hours , that 's about 1600 calories per day . That will get you there and your body will know that you 're going to keep feeding it and hopefully not go into starvation mode . Exercise is my nemesis . I tried a Krav Maga class and I wanted to die before we finished the warm up . 20 minutes in , I was in the bathroom trying to stave off the dry heaves . But I knew I couldn 't do this on diet alone . The acupuncturist recommended that even if I could only exercise for 5 minutes , do it before eating anything in the morning to ensure that the body is burning up its own reserves and not what you just ate . So every day , I 've been on the treadmill at a slow speed for 10 - 15 minutes first thing in the morning , and then again later in the day for a total of around 30 minutes a day . Thank you Mom and Dad for the hand - me - down treadmill ! We hooked up an old computer on a table next to the treadmill which also serves as a DVD player . Nice screen , and you 've got all of youtube and your dvd collection to keep you company . Hubby got me The Kids in the Hall : Complete Series Megaset for Christmas last year and I 've been working my way through those . It 's really good because it 's only 2 - 5 minutes of commitment to watch through the next sketch . Keeping yourself on the treadmill for just another 2 - 5 minutes , until the next sketch is over , it tacks on a lot of minutes when you otherwise would have gotten off the darned thing . If you go to a gym , get the Netflix app for your phone and stream from that . Ok , and I 'll also say get a hobby that keeps your hands busy . I have a new job doing pottery which in one way doesn 't help matters . I have to sit on my butt when I 'm working . On the other hand , it 's really hard to eat when your hands are covered in clay ! Just decided that I don 't care if my water cup is dirty on the outside and that 's all I have in my studio with me . If I want to eat , gotta make some effort to do it . Hopefully something here can be integrated into what you 're already doing for yourself . I 've been miserable , but I 'm surviving . And I 'm succeeding at the one thing in life that I 've failed at every single day for more than 30 years . It 's not fun . Others aren 't enjoying it . But , when it 's important enough , if I can do it , ANYONE , and I 'm looking at YOU " but I 'm the exception that will always fail " person out there , ANYONE can make progress . I 'm not going to claim that anyone can be thin , I certainly don 't expect to ever be , but anyone can make some progress , turn that into the new status quo , and then make a little more progress again later . I emailed my RE nurse and asked her to get someone who is making these decisions to guarantee that once I do the weigh - in at suppression check , that 's it . I can eat like a normal person and I won 't be weighed again . It 's pretty obvious that the day I start eating a standard diet again , I 'm going to pack on a couple of pounds overnight . Especially once we add more hormones to the mix . Once I get that suppression check weigh - in done , I want to start strengthening my body to support a pregnancy , not continue depriving it . The last thing I want to do is think that I 've finished , all is good , go out for a meal , and then have to weigh - in again a week later and having all of my hard work be thrown out the window . It would be deathly devastating to have to look at myself in the mirror and know that I sacrificed my kids for a fucking cheeseburger . She called me and said that as of right now , they can 't guarantee that . She 's forwarding my email to the doctor , but he 's not the final decision maker either . He 's the one fighting the corporation to get some policies in place that will allow them to treat us fat girls . But because those policies are being written right now , they are changing every 5 minutes . And until they are solid , I can 't count on any leeway at any point . Here 's the Yay - Spot has been found alive and well ! The cougar didn 't get him , he got trapped under the neighbors house when they were setting rat traps . She heard him meowing last night , checked this morning , and came over to tell K that he 's been found . A whole lot of dust and cobwebs and a can of food later and Spot is running around the neighborhood as he should be ! Here 's the argh . I weighed myself last night . 245 . 5 . Cried for an hour or so . I 'm eating less than 1 , 000 calories per day and my weight is bouncing back up instead of pushing down . I think that 241 . 2 was as low as it 's going to bounce and that 's not good enough . So we might not get to do this cycle . This morning , 244 . 5 . I 've only got 12 days to get it to 240 . I 'm miserable because I 'm eating so little and I 'm terrified because I 'm not getting the results I need . I 'm practically back to where I started even though I haven 't eaten anything . K recommended we donate a pint of blood the morning of weigh - in . That outta be a pound or so . Yes , I 'm actually considering it as a viable option . The clinic is literally trying to write the policies for fat girl egg retrievals as I 'm living the experience . But the policies aren 't on paper just yet , so there 's no guarantee that they will be by the time I need to move forward . So we are back to the question of go or no go depending on my weight . And my weight has sprung back up . And they 've determined that a BMI of 40 won 't cut it , it has to be BELOW 40 . So we can 't just say I hit 40 the other day and run with it . This is gonna be rough . My body has already experienced that initial whoosh of weight loss one gets the first week or two of a diet . It 's now gone into fight mode so I 'm gonna have to fight to get every ounce off that I can . And it 's gonna come down to that last fraction of a pound at the last minute . And it 's possible that when she said a BMI of 39 , she meant 39 even and not 39 . 9 ( waiting to hear back on that clarification ) . If it 's 39 even , this simply isn 't going to happen . I would have to get to 234 . 5 and I don 't see that happening for at least a month , perhaps 2 . In the beginning of our relationship , the universe seemed to send me a deer whenever I was concerned about whether or not I found the right guy . A few months into dating , K and I decided to work on a play together , he directed , I stage managed . I was concerned that working together would turn into one of those high drama situations where we would drive each other crazy and end up hating each other . Partway through the rehearsal process , we are leaving a rehearsal , each in our separate cars . K is ahead of me and for no apparent reason , he stops and gets out of his car . When I get up to him , I can see from his headlights that there is a herd of deer crossing our path ! Not just 1 deer , an entire herd ! We weren 't out in the boonies either , we were in a suburban neighborhood of Salem , MA . It took about 5 minutes for that herd to fully pass . A few months later , I brought K to Seattle to meet my family . We went to visit his uncle who is also in the area and at one point , we were invited to spend the night which K knew I didn 't want to do , but he didn 't say anything which forced me to speak up and find a polite way to decline the situation . As I seethed , trying to figure out how to communicate to K that we were going to have our first argument ever as soon as we were alone , we had to stop to allow a deer to cross the road . And later in that trip , we had to swerve to avoid hitting yet another deer . And now , on the first day of my IVF treatment , I 'm sent a cougar . I 've never seen a cougar in real life before and they aren 't exactly a common occurrence here in suburban Bothell . I 've certainly never heard reports of them being here before ! So let 's see what we can find out about this 200lb symbol that showed up on my doorstep last night . From The Earth Angel Connection - Cougar is about personal power . When cougar appears in our life , it is time to learn about power , strength , and using the personal tools we have been gifted with by spirit . Learning to be assertive . I 'm feeling pretty good about that symbolism . Does it say motherhood is in my future ? No , not really . But it 's about leadership and personal power . Balance . Courage . Sounds like motherhood qualities to me . And we all know how powerless I 've been feeling on this journey . So , perhaps the mountain lion on my doorstep was bringing me the power I need for this ( hopefully ) last struggle to get there ? And to provide the ability to be a leader without being a total bitch about it ? Not the exact sign I wanted the universe to send me , but considering all of the bad omens I could have been sent , this seems like a good omen to me ! I 'll take it ! So here we go on another IVF leap of faith . PS - K was just reading up on cougars too . How elusive they are and they are rarely seen . In his words , I 've been " given a gift " . That 's really odd wording for K . If either of us is hippy dippy , it 's me . I thought he must have read this post and then went looking around for info so he could comment . Nope , he hasn 't read this yet . Say Hi to the folks in the comments when you do get around to reading this Honey ! I live in the suburbs ! ! I knew we had coyotes but I 've never seen one . But a friggin mountain lion , on my deck ! ? ! ? ! ? ! Chasing one of my kitties and the raccoons off my deck ! Just for shits and giggles , I 'm gonna keep track of every needle that enters my body for this IVF attempt ! I 'm doing acupuncture this round and that 's going to drastically increase my needle count , so I 'm counting those separately . Keep track with me in the chart on the right . We 're currently not sure what to do with my weight . My doctor has been battling behind the scenes and has succeeded in changing policy so that fat girls can do egg retrievals . And continuing with the theme of my horrible timing , this man was telling me 9 days ago that if my BMI is above 40 , we can 't do an egg retrieval at all . So policy is literally being determined and written at the exact moments that I 'm walking through those policies . At my blood draw / ultrasound today , they did my vitals as well . My weight today - 241 . 2 and they still think I 'm 5 ' 5 " . I 've lost 6 . 2lbs in the last 9 days . Yay me ! At 5 ' 5 " , my weight needs to be no higher than 240 . 5 in order to register as a BMI of 40 . So when my nurse walked in and says " You did it ! " I 'm asking her " what did I do ? " They recorded my BMI at 40 so I think a technician fudged a number on my behalf . Not complaining . But here 's the thing . They still don 't have the policy written that determines at what point in the process your BMI is to be recorded . Is it the first day of BCP ? Is it at suppression check ? They don 't know yet . They hope to have an answer for me by Friday , but like I said , my timing is just brilliant . SOOOOOO , if they decide that it 's the first day of BCP , I 'm golden ! I did it , they put that number on the record for me , pass the nachos and let 's do this ! But if they decide that it 's at suppression check , then I need to continue the diet for another 2 weeks to make sure no ounces pack themselves back onto my frame . I 'd probably want to lose another 2lbs just to be on the safe side . I will not be having surgery tomorrow . My symptoms are inconsistent with gallbladder issues and more consistent with a slightly strained muscle . Possibly due to the all of the pottery I 've been doing ( it requires a lot of flexing and stressing of the right leg ) . The fact that they found gallstones was just a coincidence . And even under the worst of circumstances , if for some reason those stones do flair up during a pregnancy , it can be dealt with pretty safely then . And since my body decided to do it 's own thing on it 's own schedule , we get to move forward with IVF immediately . I start BCP tomorrow , and my weight will be taken on Aug 4 to determine if they can do the egg retrieval in the office or if I need to go to a hospital facility . Behind the scenes , they seem to have figured out the logistics of doing an egg retrieval on a fat girl so my weight no longer determines a go or no go , but rather the logistics of the go and how much it will cost . Cross your fingers . With the calendar I 've been given , my beta blood test to determine whether or not I get pregnant will be on Aug 30th , the one year anniversary of the day I became pregnant with my girls . And any new little ones that might come along will be due the week of our family birthdays . That means 3 things . 1 ) If I have the gallbladder surgery , we have to delay IVF by a month . Obviously , I don 't want to do that , but in the grand scheme of things , I have to get over it if removing the gallbladder is necessary . 2 ) My weigh - in to determine if I 'm under the BMI of 40 will be on August 4th . Two and a half weeks to lose the additional 3lbs or so that I need to lose . Of course , it would be easier to crash diet myself down for two weeks and have it done with rather than lose it slowly and then maintain until the next potential weigh - in six weeks from now . 3 ) If we follow the calendar that is currently written , we will confirm or deny the pregnancy on August 30th . That 's the one year anniversary of the implant date for my girls . That would also put the babies due date in the first or second week of May , also known as our wedding anniversary and both of our birthdays . So , we now have a lot riding on what the surgeon recommends tomorrow . My gallbladder is such that if not for the potential pregnancy , we probably wouldn 't even be considering taking it out . It 's not like it 's a medical necessity at the moment and I 'm a bit gun shy to remove an organ based on a maybe . We 'll be asking the surgeon for all sorts of worse case scenarios and what the likelihood would be of running across those . Here 's what I 'm REALLY hoping he tells me . I 'm hoping that he 's more conservative and prefers not to remove organs unless there 's a medical need . I 'm hoping that he tells me we should just do some laser stuff that will break up the gallstones making them less likely to cause any problems over the course of the next year . That would be the best case scenario at the moment . And once again , our calendar goes wonky ! The last few months , my cycle has had a fairly predictable cycle . First time in my life , but being able to predict was kind of awesome . So we were expecting a cycle start for July on or near the 28th . We figured that would make the August cycle undoable cuz I wouldn 't be able to lose the weight fast enough to be under the BMI cut off point at the start of that cycle . So we figured that we would be starting this hullaballoo again at the end of August . And then I got a mini - period this weekend . Hmmmmmmm , well , ok . Not quite what I had planned . I email my doc with this news and tell him that my weight loss is progressing nicely ( officially 4 . 8lbs this week ! Only 3lbs to go ! ) , and if I need to do a full cycle of BCP before we do the real IVF stuff , let 's go ahead and get that going . He writes back that the clinic just about has the logistics of egg retrievals for fat women hammered out so the weight loss might not be as vital as it was , and yes , let 's do a month of BCP . So , I 'll be starting my month of BCP tomorrow , a period expected mid August , and then we are doing the crazy part of IVF ! Hopefully to confirm a brand new pregnancy the last week of September . But did you catch that part about the weight loss thing ? It might not be a matter of saying yes or no to a cycle anymore . But rather the logistics of doing the retrieval within the office , or having to use a hospital facility for another $ 2 , 000 . So the stakes on my weight loss have diminished greatly . If I fail to get under 240lbs , it won 't cost me a baby , it will cost me about $ 2 , 000 . This mornings weigh - in , 242 . 6lbs . So obviously , I 'm gonna go for it . $ 2 , 000 is a lot of money to save and I don 't want there to be any chance of them changing their minds . So I think I have about 4 weeks until I start my next period to lose that last 3lbs . That is totally doable . In other news , I consult with the surgeon tomorrow about my gallbladder . There 's a 50 / 50 chance that I 'll be having it removed on Wednesday . Hey ! That 's half a pound right there ! Woot ! And if you know me at all , you know that the magic word to get me to do anything is INFECTION . That word just sends me into a panic . Since we want to start an ivf cycle in about 6 weeks , this decision will need to be made , immediatelyish . Like going under the knife early next week . Please tell me your stories in the comments . Have you had it removed ? What were the life implications ( like diet and such ) afterwards ? What should I know and factor into my decision making ? In case anyone would like to hang out with me on Google + , I am findable . My name there is Alex Remon . Drop me a line and tell me that you know me from this blog . According to the website where I 'm tracking my food , I 've eaten just under 1 , 000 calories today . In order to reach my goal weight by the last week of August , I 'm supposed to eat between 1 , 500 - 1 , 850 calories per day . So in theory , I 've only eaten 2 / 3 of my daily allotment of food , and I made sure it was decent food . But I 'm afraid to go to the fridge or cupboards and get something else . If I eat one more thing , I 'm afraid I 'll eat 20 . Maybe it 's because I really haven 't eaten very much and yet a lot of calories have been used up . It 's only a goal of 8lbs over 6 weeks . Nice and slow and everything . But I feel like if I count on the plan working as slowly as it 's designed to , it won 't work at all . Like if I do that standard diet thing of losing 5lbs really fast in the first week or two , then I 'll have a lot of time left to lose the last couple of lbs . But if I try to do it slow , I can 't count on those last 2lbs coming off in those last 2 weeks like they need to and then I 'll be totally screwed . The stakes are so high , and I 've been failing at losing weight for so many years , I 'm kind of petrified myself into severity . I 'm such an all or nothing person . I need to work on that . Here 's the big fat issue in the room - my big fat butt . They have established their policies and settled on only doing egg retrievals for patients under a BMI of 40 . And the reasoning makes me want to tear my hair out . They have the anesthesia people in one building who are willing to do a retrieval for us fatties . They have transfer facilities so that the retrieved eggs can be placed back into a big fat uterus . However , they do not have a means of transporting the embryos from one place to another . But here 's the good news . When they took my height and weight measurements today , they established that I 'm 5 ' 5 " . I 'm really , really not that tall . I 've always been 5 ' 3 1 / 2 " , maybe 5 ' 4 " on a really good day . When she said I 'm 5 ' 5 " , I corrected her like a good girl , and she measure again , twice . And the technician still claims that I 'm 5 " 5 " . I did my part in correcting her , I 'm not going to argue and force her to say I 'm shorter than she wants to say I am . And my weight ( once I took my jeans off ) was measured at 247 . 4 . That puts me at a BMI of 41 . By their calculations , if I can get under 240 , I 'm eligible for IVF again . So an August cycle is off the table . I officially have 6 weeks to lose 7 . 5lbs so we can go for a September cycle . It 's going to be one hell of a challenge for me , but it 's still a lot more doable than 14lbs . But I 'm really scared that I 'm going to fail . I was 244lbs when I got married 6 years ago . And 18 months ago , I was 266lbs . So by the way , can I get a little credit for the nearly 20lbs that I 've already lost ? And 4 months of that time was spent pregnant with twins , so I think I 've made a shit ton of progress in the last 18 months . Personally , I think these products are bullshit . If there really were a magic diet pill that actually worked , America would be thin and it ain 't . However , the fiber full drink actually tastes pretty good and fiber can 't be a bad thing . If having that extra fiber puts off my feeling hungry for an extra hour , bonus . And the Hydroxycut , well , I really think that 's bullshit , but it does have a lot of folic acid in it . I couldn 't find any ingredients that seemed harmful and folic acid is a primary ingredient in prenatal vitamins ( which I 'm not taking while taking this stuff ) so I don 't see any harm in trying this product . But , there 's a very slim chance in hell that these products might assist me in losing weight ( on top of the move more , eat less real diet I 'll be trying to follow ) , that few extra ounces could mean the difference between getting pregnant in September or having to wait another month . I hate to be an idiot buying into the hype , but it 's worse to disregard a potential avenue for assistance in order to save my pride . I will also be calling an acupuncturist and hopefully starting treatment . Studies show that they do increase pregnancy odds . Again , I 'm calling bullshit , but even though I think it 's a hippy dippy fad , I 'm gonna go for it . And some people use acupuncture to assist with weight loss as well . The onus is on me of course . Move more , eat less . And on that note , I 'll be trying my first Krav Maga class tonight . I 'm fat , angry , and feeling powerless . I 'm hoping that kicking learning how to kick some ass for an hour will assist with all three of those problems . And as for Dr . Douchebag . He 's got some things going for him . Behind the scenes , he really is trying to get these issues worked out so that they can offer treatment to us big girls . So he is fighting on my behalf in that regard . And who knows , by September , he might have the transport issue figured out so I can go ahead even if I do fail at the weight loss ( but I 'm certainly not counting on that happening ) . However , I brought up the little joke he made . The reaction I wanted was a truly remorseful apology for making me feel so crappy . Even if he couldn 't see the problem in what was actually said , I wanted him to feel bad simply for making me feel bad . But what I got was a defensive list of rationales for why it wasn 't so horrible and a placating apology . And for that reason , he remains Dr . Douchebag . And as for why I 'm sticking with Dr . Douchebag - well , the other primary clinic in the area has the same BMI restrictions . So by the time I worked my ass off to find someone who would treat a big girl , do all the preliminary testing that needs to be done , got the money back from my prepaid plan with Dr . D and applied it to somewhere else , well frak , it 's September before we could go ahead anyway and there 's no guarantee I 'll like a new guy any better anyway . If I stick with where I am , I don 't have to deal with all that bullshit and I 'll have the added bonus of being a pant - size smaller come September anyway . I 'd love some encouragement from everyone over the next 6 weeks . I 'm going to be tackling the biggest failure in my life that has been a consistent failure for over 30 years . And I 'm doing it with a deadline and the highest stakes imaginable . PS - just a little note about an hour after I wrote this post . Don 't take the 2 pills of the hydroxycut on the first day , especially if the only thing in your body is your favorite Starbucks drink . I think I 'm currently a little over caffeinated and a bit jittery . Can 't wait to see the results of what I make on the pottery wheel in the next hour while I 'm like this . There 's a lot of talk about how men seem to get over it immediately and that 's it for them while we women seem to relive our pain over and over and over again . That 's not really true . Men appear to get over things quickly because they see their job as fixing things and taking care of others . And when their woman is crying , they get to take care of someone and suppress their own bad feelings . Yay ! And K has really been taking care of me the last several months . While I come up with a million and one disaster scenarios , he insists on not worrying about things until they happen . I 'm a pessimist , he 's an optimist . I think he 's been holding himself together through all of this by keeping up hope that the FET would work . And when it didn 't , he sank . He 's been a bit mopey , not exercising , not motivated to do anything , classic depression . And the other day , he sank lower than I 've ever seen him . Scary low . So we were stuck in a bit of a quandary . Do we treat this emotionally ? Make him really go through the pain and hope that he gets beyond it ? Or do we treat it physically by giving him some chemical lifts with natural endorphins or medications ? Well , K is not good at talking about emotions and I had a little fear that all that would do is push him deeper into it . And the depression had taken on a physical manifestation and I figured that talking wouldn 't solve the physical symptoms . We talked , and I recommended he make an appointment with our GP to maybe get him on some meds for the short term . Just long enough to get his feet back under him . My theory was to get him feeling better physically and then see what emotional baggage was left over and deal with it then . And I told him that I was going to really pester him to get back to the gym . He hasn 't been going since we were both sick almost 2 months ago . I 've found the perfect motivator too . " Honey , you need to spend an hour tomorrow doing something to make yourself feel better . Your options are to go to the gym , or we can sit and talk about our feelings . " He went to the gym . The next day , poof ! He 's 50 % better . And then the next day , he 's practically back to himself ! I 'm telling you , the dude was DEPRESSED and bam ! Over it ! No meds , just a day at the gym and a good nights sleep . I 'm really glad he 's back , but how does he DO that ? ? ? Of course the IVF stuff means getting blood draws , ultrasounds , etc every couple of days . Then during the pregnancy , I was getting ultrasounds and / or general OB appointments at least every 2 weeks , seeing the peri about the gestational diabetes , etc , etc . Then after the miscarriage , it was consultations with the IVF people , follow - ups with the OB , a mole scabbed over sending me to the dermatologist , a few appointments for stomach issues with K , the IVF people again for the FET that we only got halfway through , then to my GP due to the prolactin elevation and potential brain tumor , and back to the IVF people for the most recent FET . This last week I realized that this low grade pain I 've had on the right side of my abdomen for the last month hasn 't gone away . I first noticed it the day that I put all 4 Vivelle dots on the right side of my belly . I figured that mild pain was simply too much of the medication localized to one area since the pain was right under them , so for the rest of the treatment I made sure to spread them out evenly . But the pain never really subsided and it didn 't change locations in accordance to where I put the dots . But it 's very low grade . Like a 1 or 2 on the pain scale of 10 . So I call up my GP and he 's on vacation this week . No problem , it hardly hurts , I 'm in no rush . But the person I 'm talking to on the phone seems to think that I really need to be seen , oh , immediatelyish . So she makes me an appointment for the next day with another doctor . Have I ever had any abdominal surgery ? Yes . I had a D & E in December . He doesn 't know what that abbreviation stands for so I have to tell him and it clicks with him what kind of really shitty year I 've had . Because he sees in my records all the fertility treatments that I 've been going through and he spends about 2 minutes just being stunned at what a crappy life the woman in front of him is currently living . He checks my ears and my eyes , double checks my skin ( looking for jaundice ) , stethoscope and heavy breathing ensues , and he presses around my stomach for a bit and finds the tender spots . By the end of the appointment , he 's not thinking appendix , he 's thinking gallbladder . Collected urine , blood , and sent me to get an ultrasound early the next morning . Side note - I 'm actually very impressed , his assistant ( technician ? Seriously , am I insulting people when I don 't know their proper titles ? I gotta learn these things at some point . ) actually got blood very easily from the vein that 's been running away from the IVF vampires . And here 's the kicker , she even recorded my own damned heartbeat on one of those things like a fetal doppler ( but it 's not fetal so just doppler ? ) . So instead of hearing the double speed heartbeat of a fetus , I 'm hearing just mine , normal speed , all alone . I really wasn 't prepared for that . The GP doesn 't have the imaging results yet , but the bloodwork and urine tests are all good . To my own untrained eyes that 's been googling gallbladders and gallstones , I think I saw what I would interpret to be gallstones . It looked like a sack with pebbles sitting in it . Of course , I could have been looking at my spleen for all I know . I 've asked if gallstones are anything that can complicate a pregnancy at all and while I don 't have a diagnosis yet , I 've been told that there 's no reason not to move forward with my fertility stuff . The people I 've spoken to who can 't give me a diagnosis because they aren 't technically my doctor , well basically we all seem to think that if it 's gallstones , there 's really nothing to do about it , just wait and at some point I 'll probably attempt to pass one and will be in a lot of pain while I do that . But as for pregnancy , no , it 's not a potential complication . So what 's on my agenda for next week ? Well , meeting with my IVF doctor ( Dr . Douchebag from recent posts ) for a follow up on the failed FET and planning for the next attempt . That 's Monday morning . Tuesday evening , I 've been asked to join a paid focus group to discuss my experience with the medical facility that handled my mammogram . I agreed to do it because well , I 'm the one who wrote a letter about how they need to qualitative research and now that they 're doing it , I figured I should be cooperative . Not to mention , I 'm a freelancer in a recession . A hundred bucks is a hundred bucks . Then Thursday I have a follow - up with my GP to either reach a diagnosis or continue investigating this pain in my side . That means that next week will have a minimum of 2 doctors appointments , and 1 appointment where I discuss my doctors appointments . Depending on what the GP sees when he gets the ultrasound results , I might be heading for a cat scan the week after . Then ( hopefully ) , we probably start another IVF cycle a week or two after that . The 4th was how I introduced K to my family . 9 years ago , we had been dating for a few months , living in Massachusetts , and on a whim , I invited him to travel to Seattle with me to meet my family . And being the brave man that he is , he decided to come west with me and met my family , everybody , all at once . The clan is pretty darned intimidating just due to the sheer number of them , and he tackled them head on . It was a great day , yielded some stories that we 'll tell for decades to come , and my cousin snapped one of my favorite pictures ever taken of me ( us ) . Yes , I 'm actually going to show you all a picture of me for a change . This is K and I , 9 years ago when we were first dating . I 'm feeling a little too independent today . Today probably would have been the debut of my girls . They would have been about 2 months old for this holiday and I can 't help but think that I would have been just about ready to get the hell out of the house and attempt taking them somewhere . Every parental figure in my life would be there , probably passing them around for goo - gooing , giving me a few minutes here and there to be baby free after 2 months of constant babies . Well , I 'm baby free . And I 'm sticking around the house . Not going up to the cabin with a million cousins who either care too much , or don 't care enough about what I 'm going through ( because there is no perfect level of caring that will make me feel comfortable ) .
|
The room was a little dusty and the bedding looks worn . I found hair on the desk which was a little off putting . Otherwise the room was fair for the price and location . It didn 't have a lot of silly extras - - the rooms were spare but completely adequate . The maids actually left the towels alone if they were hanging ( so they weren 't laundered needlessly ) . My husband complained that the bathroom was so cramped and that he had to hold the toilet seat up when he wanted to pee . The room was never cleaned and we spent 3 nights until I complained to the manager . One of the elevators was broken all weekend which left a single elevator for all the guests and staff . The lines for the only working elevator were very long sometimes taking 20 to 30 minutes to be able to return to your room . Very disappointed . I asked fir an adjustment to our bill or some accommodation however nothing was done . We will not return . Reviewed Apr 2017 8 . 8 It was a very comfortable and clean room . Probably taller than it was long but unless you 're bringing a pop - up trailer with you there 's plenty of room . The bed 's comfy and the shower is really nice . They had a hair dryer to use . There 's no fridge but that 's not a huge deal . I would have liked to have a safe since it is a city , but it 's not in a rough area . Some people complained about the two elevators , which is a bit odd but not so much so that you should be like the one guy I passed who was trying to figure out how to get out of the lobby ( I mean he got in there in the first place , somehow ) . There 's a big mall with a food court right across the street and all manner of fast food in the block between 15th - 16th not to mention most everything you 'd want to see or do is basically walking distance ( under 1 - 1 / 2 miles - South Philly / Italian Market , Liberty Bell / Independence Hall , Eastern State , City Hall , Chinatown ) . I 'd really recommend the hotel , and that you do walk places , don 't take the tourist bus , you 'll see a lot you wouldn 't otherwise . Someone else complained about the parking , I had no issues , it 's a city , you pay to park , and it 's not like you 're walking more than half a block ( it is literally across the street ) . WiFi speed : 18 - 20MBps was what I got . The staff while extremely polite were not really the most helpful , everything was " It 's not my call " when it came to business . I had to jump through a bunch of hoops just to get my stay extended , and they had me put down $ 50 per night for incidentals ( would 've been $ 150 if I 'd used cash ) . There 's no mini - bar and I wasn 't planning on ordering room service , so this made no sense to me . Reviewed Dec 2016 10 . 0 Affordable with nice accommodations . There was always water , sparkling water , tea , and coffee available in the lobby . To operate the elevator you have to put your key card in , which made me feel safe . There were snacks in the lobby the first night we got there and then they all disappeared . . . it was weird ! Excellent location . Nice lounge / lobby . We were not given the room we paid for . Instead we were placed in a room with one bed and our son had to sleep on a cot . They refused to adjust our charges . I liked how cozy our room was . The snacks provided in the lobby were delicious ! The location was amazing . We were able to walk everywhere , which had been our goal . Overall , excellent hotel ! I wish the bathrooms were a bit bigger . Reviewed Jan 2017 more reviews Hot apple cider in the lobby was a nice touch . Complimentary Wi - Fi not included ? ! Considering the room rates , I found this outrageous . Felt like a 3rd world country . Central location , clean rooms , many hotel amenities , ease of check in and check out , responsive stadd . Room too small . Was told I would get two Queen beds and larger room and did not receive . Terrible view of construction site . Reviewed Nov 2015 10 . 0 Location is good . Beds not comfortable at all . Internet didn 't work , unacceptable considering there is a extra charge Keep a bottle of water in the room ! ! Reviewed Nov 2015 9 . 1 Sizable room with modern amenities with a very comfortable bed and pillows . Friendly , helpful staff . Great workout room . Convenient central location . Large , sociable bar and lounge area . There was a stain on my sheets ; could tell that it was something that had been washed / dried into place , but still a little disappointing for a hotel chain of this quality . I was given a room accessible for persons with disabilities , which I was fine with , but was not asked by the check - in staff first . The only downside to the accessible room was that the doorless , tubless shower got water all over the bathroom floor and soaked the bathmat regardless of how I adjusted the shower - head . Really , these are just minor inconveniences from an otherwise great hotel . Would definitely come back . The room was very clean and our stay was pleasant . The hotel is the place to stay if attending an event at the civic center . Reviewed Jan 2017 10 . 0 The hotel was very clean and cosy . The food was great as well . I highly recommend 13 Restaurant for breakfast and lunch . We asked for a room with two beds ; one bed for me and my wife , and the other for our son . However , when we arrived , I was told that only single - bed rooms were available , so I had to order a bed for our son . Though , after two hours and three calls to the front desk , it never came and the three of us had to sleep in one bed together . Additionally , I didn 't appreciate having to call downstairs and wait half an hour for a shower cap . Those should definitely come included with the room . Reviewed Mar 2017 8 . 2 Huge room , comfortable bed This hotel is unsusuccessfully trying to be a luxury hotel , which it does look like . Looks aren 't everything though . The way you 're treated by the staff is most important in a luxury hotel . This where the Warwick falls flat on its face . The " doormen " never acknowledged us going in or out . When the bellman showed us to our room , we asked where the ice machine was , instead of filling our ice bucket , he showed us where we could get our own ice - - pretty classy guy . Now for the maid service : When we showered the first morning , there ware only two hand towels , one of which we had to use as a bath mat . My husband asked one of the maids on our floor for a couple more hand towels . Her reply was that she had none ! We had to call housekeeping to ask for extra hand towels and a bath mat . When our room was done that morning , we got a bath mat , but no hand towels . They also failed to replace our coffe , coffee cups and drinking glasses . We were givien an hour extension for check out , but our maid knocked on our door three times to ask when we were checking out . All three times she knocked on the door were before noon ! The hotel has a very nicely decorated interior and decent - sized rooms , especially for the location . Arrived at 3 : 30 pm and was told that my room was not ready . Had to walk around town for a while until I received their call that my room was ready , which I got at around 5 : 45 pm . I was only staying one night and I feel slightly ripped off as I was not able to relax and shower before an event I had at 6 : 30 pm . Luxurious rooms , great location , right next to Rittenhouse Square . Parc restaurant around the corner is amazing . Hotel was late getting my room ready . Tried to check in at 3 , was told a room would be ready in half an hour . They never called to say it was ready , but when I went back to the desk at 5 , they had plenty of rooms . Also , asked about complimentary airport shuttle and was told there was one every 30 minutes . Shuttle was on time , but the driver insisted it was not complimentary , charging me $ 10 when I got to the airport . Didn 't have time to argue , but front desk should have been clear when I asked about a " complimentary " shuttle . Very convenient location . Clean room . Good fitness center . Several other parking options less than a block away for less $ than hotel parking . The front desk staff were not very helpful upon check in and volunteered no information at all . Hotel has no in house lobby bar . Is attractive and well maintained . Most of the staff are excellent , from the front desk to the cleaning staff . They were helpful and courteous . Relative to similar hotels in the area , it 's a great value . This stay ( our 4th , but first since it 's no longer a radisson ) we encountered a MAJOR problem at 4am , and with two young children to be displayed in the middle of the night without our belongings was awful . The night staff and cleaning staff were great but the manager on duty was unbelievably awful , as if we inconvenienced her when her shift started at 8 - - 4 hours after we started dealing with the issue . Instead of commiserating with awful circumstances and asking how we could be helped to be comforble , she mostly left us to or own devices to figure out clothing , food , and basics for two little children who 'd been up all night , and had to be pressured to provide basic information about a plan for us to be able to leave . Unreal . Reviewed Apr 2016 4 . 0 Fitness center was nice and the room was clean . No rooms available at 3 : 00 check in . The desk clerk said he would call when a room is ready but he never called . The maid was the nicest hotel employee . The staff said they have self parking but that is not true , it is just side door valet parking . Reviewed Jul 2016 more reviews Location was perfect for walking to lots of great historic and shopping / neighborhood browsing . Parking a bit expensive ( $ 36 / day ) but it 's a city , so it was expected . The staff was VERY helpful and friendly , got us right in even though we showed up a few hours before check - in time , answered all questions , and gave some great recommendations . Overall , a terrific experience and I would highly recommend ! Reviewed Feb 2016 8 . 8 Perfect location ! Right in the heart of historic Philadelphia with plenty to do within walking distance ! Staff was helpful with everything requested Bathroom was not very clean . Used q tips in the room . The coffee was not restocked . Great location in walking distance to historical sites . Super friendly front desk staff . Room was not ready at 5 : 00 pm . They did take half off parking to compensate a little . Reviewed Jul 2016 6 . 5 Not really good for young toddlers comfortable bedrooms . Needs updated decor and carpets definitely need a good deep clean . Better attention to details such as restocking coffee and cups complete with lids . Likewise bathroom products . Staff polite but on a rush to get through whether finished or not . When asked by telephone about airport shuttle was told none upon arrival at hotel found they do have services Reviewed May 2017 10 . 0 We had never been to Philadelphia and had no idea what expect . This hotel was elegent , clean and updated ! At check in they gave us a piece of paper that had all surrounding restaurants and attractions all seperated by types of food or establishments . Then as an added bonus , the kind , helpful staff member at check in even put stars next to the best places to go to with kids . To make things more convenient the 1st morning we were there we were able to schedule a bus tour of Philadelphia right in the hotel lobby . This worked out great for us becsuse we only had one full day there and wanted to see as much as we could . So all this is great , but the best part is the LOCATION ! ! With in the hour that we arrived we deciedd to walk to get none other than a cheese steak . We walked the direction to Jims ( which was suggested by the hotel staff and happens to be the best philly steak in town ) and with in 2 blocks of the hotel the street transformed to a bustling city to a picturesque scene of 1700 brick houses , with trees canopying the the cobble stone streets . I walked to Starbucks in the morning from the hotel and walked right by where Benjamin Franklin had been buried and didn 't even know it ! The parking garage is not connected to the hotel and if there is valet , we never saw it . There is a parking garage on the premises , but no entry directly inside the hotel to and from the garage . From the minute we walked in , the front desk staff was helpful , gracious , and went above and beyond to make us feel welcome . Danielle was a star ! She made sure that we were well taken care of after our long day of travelling . She even directed us to the best Philly Cheesesteaks in town ! Hotel room was great . Location was perfect . I would definitely recommend this hotel ! Reviewed Jun 2016 5 . 7 Great old city location . AC unit is loud ; bathroom could use a thorough cleaning - - dust and hair accumulated in corners . Tub did not drain ; ankle deep by the end of the shower . This hotel was very comfortable and in an amazing location , close to everything I needed . The night staff were a bit grouchy when I arrived , but Seamus and Andre were really friendly daytime staff . I ordered a whiskey on the rocks at the bar and they charged $ 4 just for the " rocks " ( aka ice ) - drink - lovers beware ! Room was ok . . . . nothing special Very bland decor . . . . bathroom wasn 't great . One of the towels had a huge hair ball on it . Maid took the TV remote from the room Great location and pleasant staff . Guests in the next room hosted a party until 5 : 30am . Several calls were made to the front desk , but the party continued throughout the night . I got the impression this is normal behavior at this particular hotel . Wouldn 't recommend to others traveling for business . Reviewed Nov 2016 5 . 4 Noisy and crowded they day we were there a plain clean serviceable hotel Two things . Our room was between two college kid rooms with multiple tennants . They were polite but busy It 's clean , the rooms are really nice , and it 's in a great location . I have no complaints . This place was awesome . Reviewed Aug 2015 6 . 5 Construction at an adjacent building seemed to go on all night long . Unable to have any silence or sleep . And then there was a taxi " horn - honking " demonstration in opposition to Uber . Worst hotel experience of my life . Great location & value . The staff was EXCELLENT ! It was very noisy . Kids screaming and running down the hall all day / night . Not the hotels fault , but did put a damper on the trip . Also , the room service food was awful . Poor quality and flavor . Bar on the first floor is good . The pool was not very clean ( passable ) and people had to ask several times for towels . The pool area can be a great place - just add some plants , get rid of ugly fence , put a bar there . . . . The bedding is super comfy and the overall look is modern and very pleasing . Great staff . The room was a tad too small for me . Reviewed Jan 2016 10 . 0 I love the nicely decorated rooms and modern feel . Great location . Rooms not quietly . Could hear all traffic from the street and noise from other rooms and I was on the 9th floor . Would like to see Sonesta to replace those thin windows with something better . Reviewed Apr 2015 more reviews Love the hotel and the location . The bar was nice and the French fries late night were amazing . Met an old friend in Philly for one evening . We had a great day in the city , a wonderful dinner and retired to the room at eight PM to get reacquainted . At 10 : 15 we had a hotel staff member knock on our door to tell us we had noise complaints and to keep it down ! ! ! There was also a note under our door say pleas keep it down the walls are very thin ! ! ! Really ? ? ? 10 : 15 ? ? ? And they want Philly to be known for the city of LOVE but only if you whisper ! Disappointed the staff actually came up to tell me that . I will not be staying there again if I am doing anything but sleeping ! The Sofitel in Philadelphia is in a great location . It has beautifully appointed rooms , and the staff are gracious and warm . Typically , I feel very comfortable in any room I stay in . However this time , the air conditioner didn 't work properly , and the shower didn 't drain properly . It did dampen my enjoyment of the hotel . Reviewed Sep 2016 10 . 0 The staff was the best part . They went above and beyond to make my stay the best it could be . I wish the breakfast was included during the week . Needing to order breakfast in the morning is very time consuming . Everyone was friendly , my room was rather large and I enjoyed the ambience . My room was mainly clean but I felt like certain surfaces needed another wipe . Reviewed Dec 2015 2 . 0 Had a prepaid reservation for Sofitel and arrived a day late due to a family emergency . I did not have time to call the previous day and when I arrived the manager said they had cancelled my reservation , charged me for one day and that he ' would help me find another hotel . ' Pathetic , at least could have called me before they cancelled my reservation . Never stay at the Philadelphia Sofitel again . Reviewed Dec 2014 10 . 0 The whole staff is professional and friendly . When they say hello , good morning or ask how your stay is going , it 's all sincere . It doesn 't sound like a chore or they 're just doing their job , they really care ! Reviewed Feb 2016 8 . 0 Location is perfect for shopping and eating . Room was quiet , clean and comfortable . Staff were warm , welcoming and helpful . Loved the slippers , thick towels and soft sheets . Lanvin bath products - wow ! Nothing . I would easily stay here again if I can find a good rate . Reviewed Nov 2014 more reviews The valets were very friendly , helpful and accomadating . Room was clean and the tv had a great HD picture . Check in staff ignored me while I stood there staring at them waiting to check in because they were on the phone . As soon as they were done some jerk jumped the line because he wanted to talk to a manager and they catered to him for another 5 mins before helping anyone else . Room smelled like stale cigarettes and the bathroom sink wouldn 't drain . The staff was gracious and helpful Dust covered the room and the toilet had cardboard trash in it upon arrival . Staff took care of the problem after being notified . The cost for parking at $ 45 . 00 a night was ridiculous . Very friendly staff . Great view of the city from my room . Walls are thin , and you could here the neighboring room to well . Reviewed Feb 2015 7 . 7 Robes , shower was nice , room was quiet . 4 large men given a king bed and a roll away . . . . We didn 't fit in beds comfortably , one ended up sleeping on the floor . Valet parking took a long time and left all 4 windows down in my car . Reviewed Sep 2015 10 . 0 Front desk was very accommodating upgraded us to deluxe king room upon check in Concierge not very helpful . Asked twice for recommendations on transportation and wanted to push private car which was theost expensive option vs any other public transportation which we opted for . Reviewed Jul 2015 10 . 0 Excellent location , exceptional staff , great restaurant and bar . Nice room and a comfortable bed as well as a pretty good WiFi connection ( best I have experience in a while at a hotel ) . Walls were a little thin . We could hear people in the hall coming and going as if they were almost in the room . The room was very comfortable and yet stylish . The location is absolutely perfect . The highlight of our stay was the incredibly attentive and friendly staff . We highly recommend staying at Loews Philadelphia Hotel ! Reviewed Jun 2016 more reviews We planned a quick last minute evening in the city and booked the hotel on a whim due to its location and proximity to our favorite part of town . In terms of location , this place can 't be beat . You 're within walking distance of what seems like hundreds of fantastic restaurants and highlife hotspots . The hotel staff is courteous and made us feel instantly welcomed and at home . My only criticism is that the room was a bit dated . It needs renovated . The shower definitely seen better days and looks like it was last done in the early 90s . The bed was very comfortable and we slept pretty good . Reviewed Aug 2015 9 . 7 Wonderful service , beautiful hotel . The beds and linens are very comfortable , as are the bath robes they lay out for you . We were celebrating a birthday and the extra touches were very much appreciated . The hotel rooms were luxurious and left no stone unturned as far as comfort and cleanliness . They thought of everything even as far as robes , slippers , newspapers , umbrella . Reviewed Nov 2010 by Anonymous 10 . 0 Exceptional service that is sincere and not cloying . Staff is excellent , rooms are large and the bed is incredibly comfortable . My favorite hotel in Philadelphia . I wouldn 't stay anywhere else . The spa is also spectacular . They are dog friendly yet you can 't tell if dogs are really there . The rooms are solidly built and I am sensitive to dogs barking . No dogs barking here ! The hallways and elevators are immaculate . This is just a wonderful hotel . The closest to European luxury with space . Reviewed Apr 2017 8 . 0 It all started with our arrival and meeting Anton Ford at the front desk . Anton 's the best . . . . . . . friendly , funny , informative . Our trip to Philadelphia was awesome because the people were fantastic . . . . . . no matter what we did or where we went . And Anton really got our trip off to a fantastic start . Thank you Anton ! Reviewed Nov 2016 4 . 0 Hotel is in convenient location and staff is friendly . Furniture and rug in room were stained and unclean . Housekeeping did their part to clean the room , but the stains were unsightly . Not sure how they can let people stay in rooms like this . It was a great stay . Reviews were so so , and was worried . Nothing to be worried about ! A little older building but beds are very nice Reviewed Aug 2016 5 . 4 My friends in another identical room had a rate that was half of mine and was booked directly through the hotel . The hotel couldn 't honor the rate for me because I booked through kayak . com . Very disappointing , kayak is supposed to find me the best rate and not make things more difficult . Reviewed Apr 2017 5 . 4 The location and being able to park at the hotel . Also like that they have a pool . The The pool was shut for maintenance . No free Wifi . Parking was expensive . Location Iron had black stuff coming out of it . . . the tub water didn 't go down it took awhile for it to go down . They over booked the hotel so I didn 't get the room I paid for . . I paid for a king and I got two doubles but it would have been fine if they are normal beds they were twin beds . . . uncormfortable for two people to lay down so we had to sleep in two separate beds smh . . I 'm writing here because I 'm very disappointed . When I booked the hotel on Kayan it said that there was a working swimming pool . There was not ! I booked this hotel because there was a swimming pool since I need to swim for health issues . This was a very convenient location to downtown Philadelphia . The front desk staff were very pleasant . The room was adequate . The bathroom was clean . The water pressure and temperature in the shower were perfect . In the morning , I went downstairs to get coffee and mentioned that the coffee pot in my room did not work . The woman behind the counter made a note of my room # and gave me free coffee . I was pleasantly surprised . The valet staff was friendly , courteous , and efficient . The check - in process took way too long . When I got there , there was a line of about 20 people and only one person at the desk . I came back 45 minutes later . There were about 25 people on line but they finally added additional staff at the desk . Nothing Requested 1pm check out . Confirmed late check out on arrival . House keeping came in my room at 9am . I yelled at her for waking me up early . She left and at 10 the manager called the room to apologize . That 's great but she woke me up again . I think she is mentally challenged or has zero clue about anything related to common sense Reviewed Jun 2017 more reviews Parking was easy , front desk staff was polite and helpful - but housekeeping was loud and crass outside of our room in the early hours . Be careful if you are located in room 1602 - the housekeeping staff ' breakroom ' is right outside your door . Directions for ice would have been nice - rather than the scavenger hunt I ended up going on . Reviewed Jun 2016 10 . 0 DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel in Philadelphia Center City is a class act ! From the efficient , friendly check in to check out , we were treated as special guests . The staff actually cared that we had a pleasant , comfortable stay . We asked the staff for recommendations on moderately priced restaurants close - by and were pleased with our choice from their list . Our room was comfortable , quiet , pleasantly decorated and well stocked with adequate amenities . This is our third year staying at the Double Tree for the annual Philadelphia Flower Show and we have never been disappointed . Reviewed Mar 2016 8 . 8 Right in the heart of downtown Philly . The hotel was centrally located to many attractions and shopping . Also really close to public transit . I was on the 16th floor and I could still hear the traffic noise in my room . Reviewed Jan 2017 3 . 1 We booked the best suite on the 26th floor for our wedding night . The hotel gave two sets of our room key out so when we went up to sleep at 2am after our wedding , there was someone else 's items in our room . They downgraded us to the open room on the 8th floor . I was not given a refund as the manager said it was an equivalent room . . . It wasn 't . : ( Location was great and rooms were overall quite clean . A little beaten up , but otherwise quaint . Lobby bar and front desk staff were very nice . Someone trying to get into our room in the middle of the night and the cleaning staff thinking 830 am is an okay time to come clean the room . Reviewed Jul 2016 8 . 5 The hotel was located near many of the downtown attractions and the staff was very friendly . We had a small issue with toilet ( didn 't flush well - may have been blocked ) . The people staying next door were load and let their door slam at 2 : 15 am . I think the front desk staff were amazing - it was the quickest chec - in and check - out I 've ever experienced . The cookies upon check - in were literally a warm touch . The room was a decent size - with a great view of the city from the eighth floor . The pool hours were until 11pm - which was great because I got in on the late side . There was also a decent gym and a sauna with lockers that you could put a code in and use . The decor in the room was somewhat dated and showing its age . The bathroom was small and it took maneuvering to close the door . If you need absolute quite to sleep it may be a problem because you can hear the traffic from the 8th floor and any hallway activity as well . The cleaning people knocked at 8am to clean - when I was checking out anyway , so I could of done without the disruption . Reviewed Mar 2016 9 . 7 The manager took great care of us after she was told about our disappointments . She was wonderful and made our second night much better than the first . Most of the other staff were very friendly and accommodating . The facility is extremely old along with the heating / air conditioning units . Our sheets had a hole in them . Had disappointment with 2 staff members who were a bit rude . Felt the crowd that hung out in the hotel bar and / or were staying at the hotel were a bit trashy . For the price per night , we could stay at the Sofitel or Four Seasons and get better accommodations . Reviewed Mar 2015 6 . 0 Awesome building champagne at checkin have had many enjoyable and memorable stays . Understaffed , poor service sub par to other Ritz hotels . We were provided with wrong room on arrival . Room was somewhat dated and curtains had large weird stains on them . Carpet in room was also stained making it feel dirty . Restaurant service was horrible / waited 40 mins for a table then waited another 15 mins to get acknowledged by staff . Used express checkout , left some negative comments and asked for emailed updated portfolio via email - never received . I 've had better service and value for money in other not so " refined " hotels . Reviewed Feb 2016 10 . 0 The hotel and staff were extraordinary . i was always greeted upon leaving and entering the hotel . Oftentimes the bellman or concierge would ask if I needed anything . I must have looked a bit lost ! ! ! Amanda in housekeeping was excellent in refreshing my room and being extra certain there was no detail that was omitted There wasn 't anything " I didn 't like ! " However , The only " hiccup " I experienced was a slight odor of tobacco in . my room at the end of each day . When I notified the front desk they were quick to put a plan in place to remedy the problem . Unfortunately , the odor continued and was probably a function of the odor of the carpet , drapery and bedding . The staff was incredibly friendly and very knowledgeable of the city . We had a great experience ! They must have given our room away before we checked in . Our group of 3 friends got one king bed so we had to use a roll - away cot , which wasn 't the most comfortable thing . Love atmosphere and staff . Location and style is also a plus . It 's friendly for us with our 2 kids under 2 . The bed was not as comfortable . We usually have a king size bed but opted to 2 queen size and I would prob not do that again . I had a great experience staying at Monaco , from price to service everything was perfect . I think they should have better pictures of the corner suite on there website , because there suite was better then the pictures shown . Reviewed Apr 2016 8 . 5 Nice location for nightlife and history tours . I receive a monthly check from the VA for a service connected disability - - my ONE night stay cost more than that entire check ! And for what ? I received no continental breakfast ; parking is $ 50 a NIGHT ; and my room with a king - sized bed was tiny . No idea if internet was included , as I was not given a password . I wanted to sit in my room and prepare for a speech I had to give , but , my absurdly expensive room did not come with a chair besides an ergonomically nightmarish desk chair . I had a ton of clothes because I was there for a three day wedding , so my hands were full . I received no bell - service , carried all my stuff to my room , and the keys didn 't work ; so I had to lug everything back to the front desk . Had to iron shirts for the wedding , the ironing board looked like it was bought from a yard sale . For the cost of this room , I expect quality amenities . Also , the bouncer for the rooftop bar , who looked a like a teenager , watched one of the wedding guests get assaulted , laughed , and did nothing . Honestly , we should 've called the police . Posh and ostentatious , with little reward . Go somewhere else . Very stylish hotel with comfortable rooms . Staff was friendly and attentive . But the best part is the location , you 're across the street from the birthplace of our nation ! Reviewed Apr 2016 9 . 7 We love the staff as they are professional and fun . They offer free happy hour and coffee in am ! This is a big deal and makes people feel welcomed . The rooms are stylish and cozy ! We had a 2 month and 14 month old children who loved it too ! Smaller elevators but it was doable . . . we just have 2 kids and a huge stroller ; ) As with all Kimpton Hotels , the decor is amazing & very much in - line with my aesthetic . We also really enjoyed the location of the hotel ; we stayed over 2 very nice days & walked 30 minutes down Passyunk and over to the far edge of Rittenhouse multiple times . We tend to spend most of our time out - and - about , but the time spent in the hotel was very nice . We requested a room away from the elevator , which they did not oblige . We were essentially directly next to the elevator bank , however it ended up being quite . That said , we were there on a Monday night , I 'm sure the weekends are a bit rowdier . Bed was not very comfortable ( for me , the BF loved it ) , the outlets stopped working in the bathroom in the middle of my blow out & could not be fixed , the internet did not work the day we checked in . Also . . . there is not much follow - through from the staff ; we had requested a later check - out that they never acknowledged until we were physically there and brought it up ourselves again during check - in . We asked for a room away from the elevator bank , but were put in one directly next to it . Tried to order room service & the person on the phone said they would have to call back to ' confirm the order ' but never called back . . the food appeared 20 minutes later , cold . Negatives aren 't the end of the world , but there are definitely some things we weren 't thrilled with . But the staff , including the valet , were lovely & very friendly . Reviewed Sep 2016 9 . 7 Hilton is pretty much a hotel where you know what you can expect from them and it generally is a notch above their competition . Security in the lobby at midnight when I arrived due to loud and obnoxious people at bar . Hard to hear upon check in which was late . They put me in a room that is exactly the OPPOSITE of my profile request . No room by elevator . . . put me right next to it . Neighbors partied all night and hotel phone didn 't work to call to resolve issue . When I finally got it to work , they never resolved the noise . When I asked for the room to be refunded and cancel the remainder of my stay , they refused ! Since when did we begin getting held hostage by hotel companies ? Very unusual for Hilton brand , but this staff at THIS hotel have work to improve . Reviewed Jan 2017 9 . 1 The best part of this hotel is the location . You were walking distance to so many tourist attractions and right on the river . We went down and explored the submarine and everything we could . With the conventions and the weddings without a little out of place but it wasn 't the hotels fault - - we loved it ! Great pool too ! Reviewed Apr 2017 6 . 2 The staff at the front desk were exceptional and extremely helpful . The doorman and valet were amazing providing information about the city and transportation . The restaurant and bar were horrible ! Service was slow and overwhelmed but they tried hard to provide service . Our burgers were not cooked properly . My burger was burned and my fiancé asked for medium rare and got well done . We sent it back and the burgers still were pathetic and not good . We ate them anyway we were starving after traveling all day . Later that evening after returning from dinner out and a bit of shopping we went to the bar for a night cap and waited 20 minutes before anyone even spoke to us and then another 20 minutes to get a simple captain and Coke and a lemonade - - needless to say we walked out ! Reviewed Feb 2016 6 . 8 Rooms were nice , clean and comfortable . Hotel overall appearance was good and stylish . Parking rates were outrageous . The bar was terrible and the drinks overpriced . I know the main restaurant / bar was closed for renovations , which explains the awkward positioning of the bar , but the prices for drinks were way too high given the bartender quality and overall market positioning which is heavily influenced by the bartender . Drinks were priced about 30 % higher than they should have been , especially given the fact that I had to explain to the bartender how to make a simple drink like an old fashioned . Huge fail in an area where there are too many alternatives . I really didn 't know what we had gotten ourselves into until we arrived . We were pleasantly surprised . This is the perfect location and is close to everything . There is an adorable little park right outside that has cute little events all summer long . I can 't imagine staying anywhere else . Oh and did I mention the view ? ? ? Amazing ! Reviewed Jul 2016 more reviews Nothing The valet misinformed us about the parking . They strongly recommended we pay 50 $ for valet parking rather than on the street . The hotel room was not very ideal or modern for the price . The towels and bed sheets smelled as if they had not been changed or washed . The hotel did NOT provide amenities , and the shower products provided were very low quality and would not use them on my body . There are plenty other choices in Philadelphia and would not recommend this La meridian . Reviewed Feb 2016 7 . 7 The room was modern and aesthetically pleasing , with comfortable beds and linnens . It 's not a big issue , but they gave me the wrong room type , and overall there wasn 't a whole lot of attention to detail . Reviewed Jul 2016 8 . 0 Staff was absolutely amazing ! ! ! Location is two blocks away from convention center , reading terminal market and major attractions . We stayed in a interior room and didn 't hear a sound . We will def stay here every time we visit Philly . Rooms are a bit on the small side . Lighting is very dim in the room . Reviewed Apr 2015 more reviews Location 1 ) Room was extremely small and uncomfortable . 2 ) AC Fan cycled on and off every 15 seconds or so keeping me awake during most of my first night there . I reported this to the front desk and asked that it be fixed , but was not . I had to turn off the AC the next two nights in order to sleep . 4 ) Only 4 elevators for a 25 story building made getting from floor to floor very difficult . For example : getting coffee and ice ( each available at only 1 location in whole hotel ) took an unacceptably long time due to long elevator waits . 5 ) Staff was not very helpful . One of our guests left an item in another room . I had to follow up with lost and found 3 times before I was able to get it back . 6 ) in short . . . while I 've stayed in many hotels in my life , this is one of the worst experiences I have had . Next time I will stay in a Red Roof or similar . . . . my experiences there have been much better . This was certainly the poorest " value for dollar " that I 've ever experienced . My hubby and infant stayed at this hotel for new years day , and we loved our experience . It was convenient to downtown philly , our city view king was spacious for a downtown hotel , and the hotel extras , like happy hour , morning coffee , and all day hot cocoa were lovely ! Reviewed Jan 2016 10 . 0 I have stayed at Kimpton hotels on the east and west coasts and I have always had an excellent stay . The rooms are clean and well decorated , the rates reasonable , the staff warm and welcoming and the customer service exemplary . Reviewed Dec 2016 7 . 1 My fiance and I visited for the holiday weekend . Staff was very friendly and helpful . Room ammentities were updated . Great views of city ( of your on the right side of the building ) . king size bed was nice to have although it wasn 't especially soft . Room was cleaned every afternoon for when we returned . They have decent free wine ever day between 6 and 7 . The hotel lobby and elevators and hallways were nicely decorated , full of art . Room size was just average , didn 't have much if any more room compared to other hotels . The shower was nothing special , same size and same shower head I would find at a 2 or 3 star hotel . Nothing was inclusive except for a few toiletries you may have forgotten at home . We had a weird Brown smudge on one of our end table drawers that room service had to clean up . Only 4 elevators for 25 floors of rooms was bad , if your in the top floor like we were we had to stop at 4 - 5 floors going up or down before we arrived at our room or the lobby . Ice is Only on one flone which is extremely inconvenient . These negatives were a big let down , overshadowing the positives for the price you pay . We were in town for a wedding and gifted our reservation for Hotel Palomar to the newlyweds for the evening after their wedding . The staff at Hotel Palomar was fantastic - they quickly and easily added names to the reservation and a bottle of prosecco and lovely note was in the room when they arrived . They loved the room and we loved knowing they were well taken care of ! No complaints ! Absolutely LOVED staying here . My boyfriend and I stayed here after the marathon . Bottled water when we arrived , champagne and the staff upgraded our room ! We got there 3 hours earlier for check - in and because our Queen room wasn 't ready yet and my boyfriend was visibly exhausted from the marathon , they gave us a King room that was ready . The rooms are the perfect size , comfortable bed , clean bathroom with amenities , and room service was fantastic . Free wine social hour by the fire was incredible . Hotel is centrally located with a lot of great food surronding . We ' lol be staying here anytime we 're in Philly ! 18 % gratuity and 5 $ service charge placed on the food service is a bit excessive . The lady ( who was so sweet ) brought the tray into our room and had me sign a receipt that had a tip option on it . Just mad it a little uncomfortable . It didn 't take away how amazing the food was though ! The downstairs spa and pool was relaxing and very clean . The staff throughout the hotel was friendly and quick to take care of anything we needed . Even though the valet parking quickly retrieved our car and due to the difficult nature of street parking in Philadelphia , well worth the cost . We had a wonderful time at the Franklin . Reviewed Apr 2016 9 . 7 The location was great - - right across from independence park with many other attractions within easy walking distance . We had a great view of the park through two big windows in our room . The staff was very friendly . Although the hot tub was broken and much missed , the spa was otherwise very enjoyable . I particularly appreciated the valet and doorman offering to allow us to park in front of the hotel while we loaded the car with our luggage . The drapery partly obscured the great view , and could not be pushed out of the way . Reviewed Feb 2016 10 . 0 We stayed one night and decided to extend our stay for two more nights . The location was perfect - walking distance to historical points of interest in Philadelphia and to the wedding and reception we attended . The room was well appointed with a nice view . Nothing . Loved everything except restaurant staff . The front desk staff was excellent ! I tried to call in a pick - up order , and your restaurant staff was rude and didn 't put in my order . Beautiful rooms with attentive staff and great location . My stay couldn 't have been better ! Can 't wait to return to the Omni . Reviewed May 2015 3 . 7 Front desk - asked for late check out , was told it was not possible because hotel was sold out that night . As the conversation progressed or digressed as the case may be , was told that I could extend for another night . Not sure why it 's okay to lie to people to their face Summary - not only will I never stay at that hotel again in philly , I will never stay in an Omni again . Not sure why the employees don 't understand that their pay checks come from money paid by guests . You might want to let them know how the revenue is generated . I had a quick one night stay in Philadelphia and chose the beautiful Westin . My room was first class , and service was exceptional . I will definitely stay here again . Reviewed Sep 2016 6 . 0 This Westin is very well located ! It is located directly across the street from the HUB Cityview for business meetings . It is one mile from the Liberty Bell , so the walk was great . There were plenty of restaurants to pick from around the area without going by cab . The Westin has a very nice bar which served us some very nice dinners . The staff was over the top great . Our room was so nice . A fall festival which was quite large was set up for Saturday right near the Westin . It was a great experience for us ! Reviewed Oct 2015 10 . 0 The location was great . It was very close to everything . The staff was friendly and helpful . It wasn 't worth the money for what you got . It nickel and dimes customers for everything and amenities were overpriced . Parking , snacks , water . There isn 't a microwave or fridge in the rooms . A fridge was provided upon request but it was not in the best physical shape . The tub and cups weren 't the cleanest The room was very nice and fit our needs well . We thought the bed was as comfortable or even more comfortable than ours at home , which says a lot . Our shower didn 't work . After a hot night outside at the Cold Play concert , we wanted to take showers before going to bed . However , when you pull the knob to turn on the shower , it came right out of the faucet . It was almost 1 am in the morning and we didn 't want to call anyone . So we opted to take a bath but it was not what we wanted . Hence the reason I only gave the hotel a " Good " rating . Reviewed Aug 2016 9 . 4 The rooms are beautiful . We stayed on the top floor ( 15th ) . There is always an elevator available . The staff was very friendly . The shower was the best I 've ever used in a hotel . It had a HUGE rainfall style top with a wand for all the hard to reach places and adjustable water pressure . The hot water was nice and HOT . And the bed was amazing ! The view of the nearby skyscrapers was beautiful and it 's in the best location to shop till you drop ! I would stay again but I would only book through kayak because I got the room for about $ 100 less per night ! ! ! ! The only downside was that I requested a quiet room and found the ice machine directly across the hall from me . I only heard a few people in the hall so it could have been worse . The hotel is well - located ( right across street from convention center ) and comfortable . The staff was friendly & helpful ( especially our housekeeper on the 8th floor - forgot her name ! ) Parking is a half block down in a small outdoor lot and is expensive ! The staff there ( private company - not hotel ) was incompetent . Reviewed Jan 2017 7 . 7 Clean , comfortable , friendly staff . Great location for conferences . Free bottled water and cold towels were highly appreciated during the summer heat wave . Reviewed Jul 2015 7 . 1 Nothing Located next door to a halfway house for addicts , homeless people laying and sitting on the sidewalk all around the building , no secure parking area within ? ? ? miles , staff totally unresponsive to questions about safety for guests and their vehicles . We left and went to another Hampton located in Vineland approximately 30 miles away due to the safety issues . Somone from your organization has to contact me as we did call your 800 number and got somebody in India that said they could not help us . I want you to refund us our money and if I have to take a full page ad in all major newspapers advising people what kind of service you provide I will . The serving and kitchen staff at the continental breakfast were so friendly and helpful . They also proved a great breakfast and it 's complimentary . Every staff member I encountered were helpful and polite . Reviewed Nov 2015 8 . 8 location was great , everything was fresh and clean , the staff was AMAZING ! ! the bar was great , breakfast was hot and tasty . I paid for a king sized bed room . i got a double full . they said sorry , gave me a free drink . but still . i wanted a romantic evening , and this didn 't ruin it , but it wasn 't what i had in mind when i booked it . Reviewed Nov 2016 more reviews The location was great , room and hotel was beautifully decorated , and the price was so reasonable . I would definitely come back ! $ 50 to park your car is kind of expensive but you get a full 24 hours . We had a wonderful stay at this clean modern hotel . . . It 's location could not have been any better . Will definitely stay here again . Reviewed Oct 2014 9 . 4 I loved the building it was very classic Philadelphia and very comfortable . It was very clean and the rooms were well kept . The bed was extremely comfortable ! The night staff didn 't seem as up beat as the morning staff - but then again they are working nights . They did their jobs and got my room key to me in very little time . : ) Reviewed Oct 2014 10 . 0 Everything , location was great for everyone to enjoy . There 's a Marriott with full service next door , a Hard Rock and bunch or restaurants . Is also located on a historical area . N / a Front desk staff was very accommodating . The phone operators for reservations were very rude . I spoke to several ones during the week before my stay . Only the last one I spoke to was helpful . I ended up double booking because I was told by a staff member earlier in the week that they couldn 't find me on record of having booked a room so I ended up booking another . When it came close to check in , I was told that I indeed had booked the initial room . The last lady I spoke was very understanding and cancelled that initial room since I booked the second one through a third party . The room was gorgeous and the staff were very nice . The bed was way too soft . And the walls are thin so we we were woken up through the night by a group next door to us . We finally called the front desk at 4 : 30 and they addressed the issue . Reviewed Aug 2015 9 . 7 This was out 4th time staying and it was just as before . Clean friendly convenient and FANCY ! It 's a little hard to grab a cab / uber out front , but that 's the city . No reflection on the hotel at all . Location is good , although there are 2 different Marriott hotels next door . We went to the wrong one first and already had valet parked our car before we realized it was the hotel next door . Received an email confirming room would be ready by 3 , upon arrival at 4 we were notified room was not ready and would be 45min . We were told they would call us when ready but after hour an a half of no call we went back to find there was a credit card issue which could have easily been resolved if they would have called . Wasted time wandering around downtown It would be nice to have some kind if discounted parking . Also , we had dinner in the hotel 's restaurant and would only give it 1 - 2 star . Would not eat there again . The hotel had a great feel when you walked in . It looked very clean and modern . When we arrived Saturday afternoon , there was no doorman to help with the bags . I ended up running into someone when I went to get a cart who was hanging out at the front desk talking . Also I was putting a stroller and there wasn 't anyone to assist with holding the door open . Lastly , there were 2 weddings going on . From our room , we could hear the DJ until past 11 : 30 at night which isn 't ok when you have small children and if you are a light sleeper . Reviewed Apr 2015 9 . 4 Bell hops and valets were very kind and professional . Pet policy is not clearly stated on their website . We arrived at the hotel with the intention of sightseeing and ended up being stuck in our room watching our dog because the policy doesn 't state online that you have to stay with him at all times even if he 's in a crate . This made us on able to benefit from our complementary breakfast since he was also not allowed in the dining area and the entire purpose of the trip was for a Valentine 's Day getaway with my husband . It left us leaving the room individually and scrambling for last - minute plans . We did not get to enjoy our vacation the way we expected to and were even more upset that when we called to ask about the policy that we weren 't informed in advance . We did not get told until after check in Very close to the historical sites , restaurants and Penn 's Landing . Very friendly and helpful staff . Having access to the Club Lounge was very convenient to get breakfast or a drink to go . Only valet parking available . Getting used to the noise of the heat / Air conditioning unit turning on and off . It was very quiet while it was running , just the starting and stopping noise that might wake you up if you aren 't use to sounds . We only stayed for a night so did not get to take advantage of the beautiful lobby with many seating areas from high tops to cozy couches . Somehow it felt very open yet very homey and welcoming at the same time . Beautiful quiet neighborhood . Very friendly staff . The heater in our room sounded like a mini - explosion every time it kicked on . The walls were paper thin . We were wakened by two female voices and two babies at 7 : 30 am . I would have sworn they were in our room . Reviewed Nov 2016 6 . 2
|
When it comes to riding on ice or protecting our loved ones . It 's been quite icy lately , the same wide flat platform that does okay in snow really pays off on slick shiny ice . Much like a shotgun works so well at close range by placing several projectiles in a small spread out area so do the tires by placing several tungsten carbide tipped studs on a small area . Some of the ice we had was quite impressive I wish I 'd gotten a picture or two , to a winter rider it would look scary , almost as scary as having a gun pointed at you . I no longer fear ice or much of anything . A slight addition eight hours later , I was reminded that ice demands a certain amount of respect . I 'm going to be in a lot of pain . At least I 'm not him . After thanksgiving we got some snow and road maintenance reminded me of the days when oil prices were low and the folks in charge of such things even more inept . There was a case of the post holiday slows . Followed by a brief mild cold snap . I can 't complain . I had fun . Getting around was like going mountain biking only with cars . How do I know when were having a mild winter ? When I start whining about not having done any trail riding the summer before . A regular to difficult winter I don 't miss it . Earlier in one of my half - drunken can 't sleep posts I referred to the weather changing sometime late in my early years . When I started it would get cold in October with some snow and it would stay cold until January or February then there would be a brief warm spell . The snow and ice would start melting , becoming wet , soft and slippery , then the temperatures would drop , everything froze back up until spring . Now it won 't get quite as cold and the warm spells are more frequent . Snow , maybe get cold for a bit , melt , refreeze and like shampoo , repeat . That 's the thing about Anchorage , sometimes the road becomes more like the off - road . If you asked me what sort of bike you need to work here ? I 'd say you need two . I 'd skip over the whole fixed gear versus single - speed versus gears debate . There are good reasons to go with any of them and an equal number of good reasons not to go with any of them . It 's all about what works for you , just try to keep things as simple as you can , the less time spent on maintaining your bike the more time you have for other funner things . I 'd tell you to get one bike more on the road cyclo - cross side of things with room for a studded tire . Say , at least 700x35c with 700x40c being better . The other for big fat studded tires ( well 2 . 3 is the fattest factory studs for now ) on wide rims . You might be thinking about this , that and the other thing . If you have the dough they would come in handy but you might want to get a second set of wheels for it with slightly narrower rims and some Nokian 's , maybePosted by Yesterday and the day before I found that joy from the early days . The equipment is a little better the skill or as the youngsters say " my mad skillez was poppin " or whatever they say , the body older and the ride home is not the same , I 'm not sure if I 'm Endicott or Kid Creole or most likely some mutated combination . I slithered over the semi - compressed snow . It 's not really snow any more , ice flakes , dirt , it 's been there for some time . The mayor is a senator now and whose gonna be acting mayor has turned into a pissing match . While the cats are away some mice play and some places get plowed too soon and others too late . The homemade studs were good in most things but they sucked in the brown crap over ice and they didn 't last long . That 's where the tires I use now really justify the price . Good to do the winter dance It has that kind of feel to it that sort of rhythm to it . That sort of flow . If that makes any sense , I 'm tired , I hurt , I 've had a couple but it 's all good . My true love sleeps upstairs and my kitty has me pinned to this couch . The bike seat is always a first class seat . Let 's turn back the hands of time until we break the little bastards wrists . It was the late nineties municipal revenue was slowly climbing up , we had a mayor trying to make downtown a showplace if you will . I rode a Kona Hot . I 'd brought it with dreams of running the Iditabike before I was a messenger , I was a tad stressed at the time . She was a fine beast with a pair of SnowCat rims a home studded specialized cannibal size 2 . 2 in the back , a home studded Gary Fischer bear trax size 2 . 5 up front . Great in the deep snow and we got it . It would start early you might run the skinny tire bike at first but hit the seven inch mark at mid - day when the snow had been compressed , disturbed and churned up with car snot , then you needed some float tire pressures creeping down to 7psi as the afternoon progressed and there would be a certain rhythm as you rode when many fear to drive . It was good . You were on the road all afternoon until the last signature collected and yes it was good as you did that dance upon the snow - mix twisting and shifting as if you were making some strange kind of love with the bike and the road and the snow and the traffic , passing you and then they noticed that you were going as fast as anyone should go on that road at that time , the SUV paralleling you on the two - lane afraid to go faster and you laugh until you realize that when the SUV gets into the well deserved head - on they 'll be pushed right into you . You dropped at the AG 's office it was good . After a time one learned that it would take the city until midnight to clear downtown and what is a courier to do with time on his hands , a few bucks in his pocket ( It was the late nineties there , Sonny Jim or Jill , cough , hack , expectorate ) and single what to do but hang out in downtown bars . You drink a little too much because shit hurts and stay a little too long and tho you can find your true love there , it happens it really can and it did but not then , I 'm just sayin ' the odds are not good . So you ride half walk home because home is not downtown anPosted by My wife and I had a lovely time last week at the after work thing . It 's always a pleasure to visit you are the embodiment of the word collegial . If your wandering about the first photo , that building has a special place in my heart . I first learned I had a very poor sense of direction after passing that particular building several times while trying to make my way back to consolidated works during the 2003 CMWC . This bike messenger can get from Pike to Pine in minutes because half the time he turns straight toward Olive . The second photo , if your ever burned out on Monorail go here it 's real close to the best doppio in Anchorage . This might explain why I malinger at Monorail . I was a tad harsh responding to that one fellows questions . You tend get a lot of well meaning cyclists asking about getting into this line of work because they think it 's cool and it might be fun . It is believe me it is . The cool and fun come at a price that 's what I was trying to get across . I 've worked sick hung - over injured and while I was on the bike I was aware of everything around me I could almost sense whether the intersection ahead was clear and I felt good . I 'd get off the bike say , to stop for some coffee . The good feeling stopped and the coffee shop could have been on fire and I still would have walked up the counter to and ordered . " May I have a cheese bagel with that and why is it so warm in here ? " Now I 've learned to rest the illnesses and injuries I don 't rest the hangovers maybe it 's some weird protestant guilt thing or maybe it 's a desire to keep some standards . Today I 'm sitting with my cat hoping an antagonized shoulder gets better before tomorrow . Today is Veterans Day , it 's a day off for me . I can 't help but think about what those guys and ladies have gone through in service to their country . I 've talked to great many and in my own life not just as a messenger but prior has given me just the faintest ghost of a taste of that . The only thing I can say is simply . Thank you very much . I got the following in an E - mail " Hey man , I was wondering how you got into being a bike messenger in Anchorage . Need some help ? I need a second career that can keep me biking all winter . The commute just isn 't enough . " I didn 't answer because it 's so terribly hard not to be sarcastic or just sound like an arrogant prick but fuck it . Where to start . I could start by pointing out that the difference between commuting and messenger work is rather like the difference between going down to the river with a brick of . 22 long rifles to shoot tin cans and doing convoy escort duty in Iraq . As I ride I find my hand hovering over my front break lever , ready , I think it could be worse it could be the trigger of a belt fed machine gun . I imagine ones state of mind in both circumstances is rather similar . " See everything , admire nothing . " The actions are different , the break lever is passive , the machine gun is aggressive but both are defensive , the goals are the same , come home alive . The guy working the belt - fed knows hes at war , you have to figure it out as your enemy is more incompetent then hostile not that there are not hostile nasty hating motherfuckers who will kill you given the chance . A commuter has a fixed amount of time to get where they need to go . A messenger is always in a hurry everything is a rush the more you carry the more you make . Then there are the serious rushes , where at a minimum , at the very least someones career is at stake but it could be a lot more but beyond that is your sense of honor because you said . " I can do it . " or even " I 'll try . " I could respond to the offer of help . I don 't need help . I need partners . Committed partners , the sort with experience , who know what their getting into . I don 't mean to be insulting , this is not a thing for the faint of heart , the weak of spirit . Bring in a few clients , no same day route service , I 'm talking on demand service here , then we 'll talk . I could respond to this fellows need to ride all year . There 's no nice way to say it . Sell your car and harden the fuck uPosted by And I still have that song stuck in my head and I still feel old but that 's life but I am young compared to my peers and I still remember the words spoken to me by a brother messenger in the city of Dublin , ( I think he may have been Sumoi but I couldn 't place the accent ) after he had taken a header snagging on a post in the middle of the street when the Missus and I had asked if he was " Okay " it was one of those spills that was most likely nothing but it could have been something . " I am Messenger I know how to die but not today , not like this . " Cheryl was puzzled but I just said to myself . " Well all righty then . " because well , I am messenger and I know how to die and I ain 't going down like that either . Like the kids say . Know what I 'm saying . And if you don 't know and can not empathize . FYI GFY . Oh yeah , this time I remembered the camera just forgot to take any pictures , whoops . It was everything I expected it to be . It was beautiful for that moment , a moment that can happen on any working day , anywhere . That moment when you are all things , you are you , you are the bike , you are the traffic , you are the road , you are as zen mystic bullshit as it sounds you are at one with the universe . During that moment and through out the afternoon I had a song stuck in my head . I couldn 't figure it out my first thought . " It 's Tuesday ? " Yes I had both versions going through my head alternating perhaps because on the ice , snow , hard - pack , slush or combinations there of , the song remains the same but the tempo and style alternate . I couldn 't figure it out . After coming home I listened very carefully to the lyrics . This is pretty much a song about a fucked up relationship speculating on why the other party has no empathy . I 'm still puzzled . The Loveliest Lady Lawyer in Anchorage is well , wonderful . Then it hit me . Stop thinking male female . Think fucked - up relationship where the other party has no empathy and is abusive . Oh , now I get it . That and I forgot to bring the dam camera . I 've been feeling a little old lately . Doing the sorts of things I used to do is harder , I need a good nights sleep . It takes longer to recover from injuries , I could go on . Then I ran into someone I went to High School with . Both of us doing middle - class married male Cost Co . escort duty . My wife later asked if he was older then me . I thought about for a second . " Actually he 's about two - three years younger . " It hit me that most men my age well , look my age . I still get carded from time to time , because to the nice young clerk / waiter / waitress / bartender I still fall under the " card everybody under thirty - five " rule . I 've never had to seek treatment for E . D . guys , saddle adjustment is key . Anyway right now there 's about two inches of new snow over about an inch or two of old snow and ice , more snow is falling . It 's been a slow morning , this gave me the chance to put some more aggressive tires on the work bike . Riding a bike in these conditions can be a bit dangerous , just going from point A to B , not so much because the bike has problems but because the idiots you share the road with , do . Now , add in the fact that I will be going fast whether I need to or not . It 's in my nature . I should be concerned , I should stay here with our cat for as long as I can get away with , I should think about catching a ride home after work with my lovely wife . No , fuck that . I must ride , I must frolic in the snow on the ice amongst the cars and the morons who drive them , I must stop at " The Messenger Bar " , I must ride home after one more then I planned on , Now I must dance ! I had hoped to write this thing out stream of consciousness all Jack Kerouac style while the memories were still fresh in my head . Well shit happens , the memories are blurry . So , we hit the highlights with a photo play . Thursday had brunch , registered , purchased a six - pack of Steamwhistle went to Porno Steve 's birthday party , got the chance to meet many wonderful messengers including the three Soumi messengers , shared some cinnamon flavored whiskey with Tofu but I missed the chance to say . " Happy Birthday " to Porno Steve . We took a cab back to the hotel and had a good nights sleep , a very good nights sleep indeed . Well I 'm trying to piece together the story of our second honeymoon at CMWC I should mention I was a web short for the show " Tougher in Alaska " as seen here . The piece itself is about winter biking but I 'm pretty much the star . I 'm a star , a bright shining star . In all seriousness there are tougher places to be a bike messenger but where else are your odds of catching a stray from a " gang related " shooting or getting stomped by a moose are about the same . BTW Good luck to you Mr . Bolger and company . We always start these things with the best intentions . My wife is simply not that much of a cyclist . I guess that 's because she 's nearly perfect in every other way . The plan she 'll ride more starting out in the residential neighborhoods and bike paths working our way to the more urban parts of downtown Anchorage because if you can get the hang of those handful of blocks you can extend that to the tens of blocks in another city . We 're not talking setting her up to win the alleycat or anything like that , just a nice commuter level of competence . Me , I plan to do some training of my own mostly involving twelve once lifts before the ride home and over - dressing so I 'll be able to handle the heat . Both of us get distracted from our plans . Her mostly by work and weather . Me I do okay , on the twelve ounce lifts but the weather kicks the other part of my plan square in the nuts . It was one of the coldest spring / early summers that I can remember . Even over - dressed I was a little cold most of the time . I don 't go to race but I do like to keep it as an option . That and I 've got this folding bike and running that thing in a closed course race has the same appeal as the first few 10 - 12 inch snowfalls I rode , the wondering if it can be done . Next comes the frenzy of packing and medicating for the flight . Time to go to the airport . I tried to keep notes but that soon fell by the wayside . I do have the following . " N is for negativity , null , nasty , nonsensical and if you 're flying out of Anchorage it can stand for the North terminal also known as the ghetto terminal . It was originally intended to be the international terminal but it 's been divided half international half domestic . It 's old fashioned but not in a quaint way more like something yanked out of the seventies and crudely retrofitted for the present . " Our flight has been delayed by an hour , no bigey because that will eat into our three hour layover in Seattle . As we wait in the bar I realize this is at least the third time we 've had the same bartender , I tip her well whenPosted by I 've been dropping near this place quite a bit lately . I know nothing of the history of the building . I imagine it was quite the grand hotel when it was built , back when 2nd . Avenue didn 't just drop off into nothingness the next block east . I understand that now it 's a boutique hotel and really quite nice . In the late nineties it was a good time to be a bike messenger and I was okay in the summers and a two - wheeled god in the winters . Now I 'm semi - retired , I work on average two hours a day . I 'm looking to get involved in co - op with some other bike messengers then I 'll work more hours on fewer days and with the gas thing that day may come soon . My business is a boutique service . I 'll work for you , if I like you but I 'm not going out of my way to look for new clients . Anyway back to our story I want to go to " The Cycle Messenger World Championships " my lovely wife has no interest in going . That 's fine . I spend a long time going back and forth on whether to go without her because I know that at times I will miss her so much it will physically hurt . I finally decide that I can endure that the tough part will be not whining to much about it . It 'll be like being in my late twenties and early thirties again , I can stay at a buddies place , lots of drinking , smoking , two - wheeled shenanigans , staying up late only without the constantly trying to get laid . Almost the bachelor party I didn 't bother to have . The older I get the more I hate to fly and the worse flying coach gets . The only way I can handle a flight that long is if I go first class . I also really do not want to pay full fare and who would . I 've hemmed and hawed about it too long for a mileage ticket , an upgradable fare too fucking much . A little Shatner magic and there as if the hand of god is pushing me to Toronto is it first class for a tad over a C - note more than your average coach fare . That 's it I 'm going . I tell her and another miracle , maybe it was to good a bargain to pass up , maybe she wanted a break from work , it could have been many things but my true lPosted by I think that it 's great that your riding your bike downtown , keep up the good work , good on you , really I mean that . Just one small request , when it 's time to lock up your bike and you lock up on a bike rack in front of a bar just for one second consider that besides paying for the bike rack the owner of the bar for years and years paid for a permit to have that rack outside of his bar . Go in buy a drink or stop parking there because you 're taking a space from someone who goes there or works there and helps pay for that rack either kick in or fuck off . In a real city I 'd double lock your ass . Well I live for many things but at the top of that list would have to be my beautiful wife . After dealing with this freakish spring and the start of the Alaska Bar convention along with the day to day struggle to survive I would have to put her at the top of that list before steel bikes and clearing a " tweener " with more then five minutes to spare . Every day I 'm reminded of the many reasons I fell in love with her and why I broke the " no dating lawyers " rule . Cheryl , this is my public love letter to you . So , Sunday I 've got the urge for some serious barbecue the slow smoked kind . Yes , a brisket ! It occurs to me I 'd do this about once a month if there were more bike messengers in town . I 'd have to purchase some meat free grates and come up with something for the dam vegans . For brother or sister messengers I 'd make that extra effort . I most likely won 't do that when we throw a barbecue for friends , bar buddies and people we know from work . I 'll have some stuff they can eat . I don 't dislike vegans after all . I just don 't see myself making that extra effort to accommodate them at a barbecue . A bike messenger barbecue would be an entirely different matter . A bike messenger thing should be as inclusive as possible at least for other bike messengers and their companions . This got me thinking about a visit to Seattle last month where spring was in full effect . What terrific hosts the messenger of that city were both to me and my wife . Thank you . One of the nice things about Seattle . The coffee shop where a lot of the messengers go is located real close to Cheryl 's favorite stores . Hitting Nordstrom 's or Sephora , want coffee , look for some bike messengers . That 's the place to get it . This also had me thinking about what terrific hosts the messengers in just about every messenger city I 've visited were too . Thank you as well . It should be spring but winter is hanging around like a Mormon missionary with an Amway franchise . BTW in that last picture is the " Volvo of death " avoid this vehicle at all costs . I am not in anyway speaking ill of AMS , just if you see this car get the fuck out of the way . Trust me , have I ever lied to you before . On a recent visit to Seattle I had a chat with an ex - messenger who 's still quite active in the messenger community . Apparently there is great enthusiasm to bring the North American Cycle Courier championships here to Anchorage . Problem is there 's only one bike messenger and he 's a boring married old fart who tires easily . We need help ? Since this thing is bringing more people to my humble blog . I 'm going to blatantly solicit for the help I need . First volunteers to go to meeting deal with city officials and such . Ex - Bike messengers I know you 're out there . Wouldn 't it be nice to have a little bike racing and a big ol ' party with friends old and new ? Second cash and Lott 's of it , prize sponsors shouldn 't be an issue . I am incredibly open minded as to who 's cash I 'll take . Oil companies , Greenpeace , Nudey bars or Anchorage baptist temple , it all good . There 's just one little catch you can in no way compromise the quality of the event . You can sell your product or ideas in the expo area and any parties you sponsor , you can even hang banners along the race course . Just make an effort not to be a bother elsewhere . Third the most important sponsor , a beer sponsor . Here 's the pitch . Bike messengers for the most part love beer . If you provide us with free and / or cheap beer through out the event and if we like your product we will start buying it , we will pester our favorite bars and stores to carry it , we will make a point of being seen drinking it . At this point a certain demographic will start buying your product to drink what the real bike messengers drink . In a short time your sales in urban areas not just in North America but other parts of the world will go up . Any potential sponsors or volunteers are welcome to E - mail . I don 't really think about this blog when I 'm busy . I think about it during slow periods . The slow periods when you realize that it 's not just the lack of income . It 's the lack of that adrenaline , the rush from doing things that to the untrained eye look downright dangerous . To make life more fun we had a bit of a warm spell . Things melted some refroze . Miles of roads cleared including most of the core but what ice remains can be downright evil . Slick and lumpy . The best set - up for that kind of ice involves a somewhat wide flat profile studded tire , a wide rim is nice . This same set - up sucks ass on pavement . The same two hundred plus studs that were your tungsten - carbide little buddies grabbing on and helping you along are now dragging on you and slowing you down like worthless in - laws during your wedding . The nice thing is you develop a kind of slow flow , almost like a skilled fixed gear rider only slower . You go to great pains to never come to a complete take your foot off the pedal stop . It 's a pain to get the thing going again . You learn to anticipate a little further in to the future . All in all it 's a cumbersome beast on pavement but sometime you surprise yourself with how much speed you can coax out of her . On ice she rides like she 's on rails and with memories of shittier tires and such in your head your surprised how fast you can go and not stack . Or you go with skinnier tires and apply a great deal of skill , concentration and finesse ' on the icy bits and just maybe you don 't go down but the paved part is easier . A little trick for the young people . The key to riding on ice is to go fast enough that if you do fall you 'll slide instead of dropping with a sickening thud but not so fast that a slight lump in the ice will knock your front wheel out from under . It 's a fine and delicate balance and you need to pretty much learn by doing , you learn through pain , you fall to learn how not to fall . Now about that lull , lulls have been a common thing . They can be the daily lulls like around lunch . Even before elecPosted by It was a slow day , very little business and I am stuck Downtown for the day . Normally during the lunch lull I like to run home and check in on " Princess the messenger cat " , not today . To do that I need to be able to get from the house to Downtown quickly and easily in under twenty - five minutes . The key words being quickly and easily , I could have one or the other but not both at the same time . To make life more interesting my bike of choice today is one I 've nicknamed " The Tank " it 's kind of heavy being a mountain bike with SnowCat rims and Nokian studded tires but it will roll over just about anything Anchorage has to offer . I grabbed it not because of what was but because of what could be . Now that we 've set the stage lets go through the pictures . First we have Side St . my favorite coffee shop If I find myself empty in the core before three ( when they close ) I stop in and have a couple doppio 's and a snack , lovely place . Next picture we have one of my favorite deliveries . If I 'm still empty when I finish my coffees and snacks I call " The Loveliest Lady Lawyer in Anchorage " to see if she needs coffee or a snack . Every time I do that I 'm reminded why I don 't try to add her firm to the client list . Because I still fawn over her like a love - struck teenager every time I see her , it could severely fuck my turn - around times . I took care of a small bit of business rode around had some more coffee . I 'm getting bored . I even went into the Mall . Next picture this is a spot on " The Coastal Trail " a good place to meditate and get in touch with nature even if it is behind a sewage treatment sub - station . I thought for a second when most people go into the workplace break room it 's kind of dingy and windowless . I 'm kind of lucky that this is my break room . Next picture , we have the messenger bar . I don 't call it that just because I go there . Of the four people who 've worked as bike messengers in the last ten years three of us instinctively made our ways there . The guy who 's career lasted about two weeks never showed up but I dPosted by The best and worst bike messenger in Anchorage , Alaska . He 's a complicated man . No one understands him but his woman . He 's a bad motherfu . . . Shut your mouth ! But I 'm talkin ' ' bout Kirk . We can dig it . Tea is simple . To make an excellent cuppa simply requires a thick - walled , pre - heated teapot - something that requires an investment of a mere fiver . In add . . . Well , it had to happen eventually . I couldn 't just ride around in circles in central London for the rest of my life . Last summer I started to get itchy fee . . .
|
byventurer15 © I was lying on Tom , my husband of seven years , letting the afterglow of sex wash over me and his penis slowly become flaccid while still inside me . After all those years , sex was still good . We knew how to please each other ; I could count on two orgasms whenever I had the chance to finish our love making on top . At the same time , sex had become very predictable . Each of us knew not only what the other liked , but how they would respond . I often would find myself fantasizing that I was with a new and different lover . I never knew what prompted me to say it , but as I lay there , I asked Tom , " Who were you fantasizing you were with just now ? " " Why you of course , " he responded as he promptly went limp and fell out of me . I pressed him good humouredly , " you mean to tell me , that after all this time you never imagine that you 're making love to someone different ? Tell the truth . " He paused before saying , " Karen . " Karen was a good friend of mine . She was in her late twenties , looked great , slim , with breast implants that gave her a body that stood out in a crowd . She had also been married and divorced twice . She loved to flirt , and always wore provocative , sexy outfits that accentuated her attributes . I could well understand his answer . " I would be worried about you if you didn 't find her attractive , " I offered . " She thinks you 're pretty hot too . She 's even confided to me that she would like to do you . " Tom rolled us over so we were side by side . " Who were you fantasizing about ? " he asked . I wasn 't surprised he asked the same question . Men are so predictable . " Your friend Nate , " I replied . I believed my response caught him off guard by the way his body stiffened and he shifted ever so slightly . Nathan was an engineer ; a coworker of Tom 's , who had recently received a big promotion . They also played on the same basketball team ; a team Tom had recently joined . Tom was the only white guy on the team . I had only met Nathan a few times . I remembered him from the company picnic and holiday party and the few games I dropped by to watch . He was single , tall , muscular and good looking . I thought of him as the original tall , dark and handsome . " Why Nate ? " Tom asked . He sounded a little defensive . " If I 'm going to fantasize , I might as well go all the way , " I replied . " He 's handsome , has a great body , and there 's just something erotic and forbidden about interracial sex that I find exciting to think about . After all , I 'm only fantasizing ; I 'm not planning to have an affair with him . " By that time , I was ready for sleep , so I rolled over with my back to Tom and snuggled in my pillow . Tom , with other ideas , reached an arm around me and pulled me against him ; he was hard again . It had been many years since he was interested in more than one orgasm in an evening . His hard penis easily slipped between my labia , still oozing cum from our recent bout of love making . I rolled on my stomach and rose up on my knees so he could take me in my favorite position , doggie style . His penis slid full depth into me in one stroke , easily accommodated by the semen still there . Tom commenced ramming in and out of me from behind . The force of his thrusts pushed my face into the pillow . He was squeezing and pulling at my breasts , thrusting roughly in and out of me as if posessed . I tried to imagine what he was thinking about that drove him to make love to me so hard and brutally . Was he pretending I was Karen , or visulizing me with Nathan ? Suddenly he stopped . His rock hard penis was still deep inside me . I came again as I felt him pumping more semen into me . We both collapsed from the exertion and lay there on the sweat - soaked sheets . The next weekend we were lingering in the kitchen over breakfast coffee when out of the blue Tom blurted out , " Nate would like to do you too . " I was more than a little taken back . " What do you mean ; Nate would like to do me ? " My tone alone was enough to put Tom on the defensive . " Just what did you say to him ? " All Tom could do was stammer . I was getting angrier by the moment . " You went up to a guy I barely know and told him I wanted to fuck him ? What were you thinking ? " He finally managed to say , " Well you told me that you fantasized about having sex with him . " " Can 't you tell the difference between fantasy and reality ? " I shot back . " What kind of world do you live in ? " I was so angry and upset ; I simply got up and left , leaving Tom sitting there . I got into my car and started to drive , with no particular destination in mind . The next thing I knew I was pulling into Karen 's driveway . After all , she was my best friend . She was home , and we spent the rest of the morning discussing dumb things men do . Finally she said , " His stupidity aside , why don 't you take him up on it ? I 'd be bored screwing the same guy all the time . Here you have a chance to get some strange and you can see for yourself what it 's like making love to your fantasy lover . Why pass up such a chance ? If it 's a disaster , you can hold Tom responsible . " I pondered this for a while before saying , " You really think so ? I never contemplated making it real . " " The real question is ; is it something you really want to try ? And be honest with yourself . " was Karen 's reply . After a long pause , I admitted " I really don 't know . At a certain level , I want to , but I 'm scared . I really love Tom and I don 't want to do anything that would endanger our marriage . " " I think you should explore it . " Karen encouraged . " We could arrange a double date . I know a nice place we can go for dinner and dancing that 's far enough out of town that we won 't see anyone who knows us . If it feels right , we can go to your house and see what develops . " Before I had a chance to answer , she adTom was not a happy camper when I arrived home later in the evening . He had been stuck looking after the kids when I left unexpectedly , and missed his tee time . We had a heated discussing about communication and just what he was hoping to accomplish by offering me as a sex partner to someone I barely knew . The more we talked , the angrier I became . While he continued to claim that he made the offer hoping to please me , I suspected his real interest was in bedding Karen . After all she did claim to be the world 's best lover , and with her history , I didn 't doubt her . I was more angry about the way he went about it than any thing else . I finally just announced , " OK , let 's all get together for dinner and we 'll see what happens , and I hope Nate fucks me until I have trouble walking straight ! " That left Tom speechless and ended the discussion . I called Karen the next day and related what I said to Tom . She laughed hysterically , which was good therapy for me . We got together later in the week to find just the right dress for me to wear on our " double date " . I ended up with a cute little number that I surprised myself by buying . It wasn 't like anything I had ever owned . My Irish heritage had given me pale skin with raven black hair . The dress was a shade of green that suited me very well , even picking up the hint of green in my eyes . I worked hard to keep in shape , and the cut showed off my figure . My breasts were small enough that I could get away without wearing a bra , so my nipples were outlined through the thin fabric . With spaghetti straps , the neckline plunged sufficiently to hint that a breast might be revealed if the wearer wasn 't careful . Looking at me trying it on , Karen commented , " I 'll shorten it for you , then you 'll have men drooling to get into your pants ; of course you shouldn 't wear any . " The sales clerk stood by with a bemused look on her face . " Don 't you think its short enough ? " I protested . " Not for what we 're up to its not . " She replied . " The sexier you dress , the sexier you 'll feel . You should do it more often . " I made arrangements to have my parents look after the kids to for the weekend . While I had some misgivings in the intervening weeks , I was determined to see the thing through , and a feeling of excitement gradually began to take over . It was a restless , gnawing excitement that I 'd never felt before . Butterflies fluttered inside me when I tried to sleep . I found myself almost constantly thinking about having a different man inside me . A man that smelt , felt and tasted different than the only man I 'd ever had sex with . I took my time getting ready that Saturday afternoon , starting with a long bath . As I soaked , I thought about how the evening might work out , turning numerous possibilities over in my mind . While shaving my legs , I made sure I was nicely trimmed below . I lingered up stairs in my robe over makeup and things until I heard Tom greet both Karen and Nathan . Then I threw on my dress . A gold necklace and gold hoop earrings finished off my ensemble . Before starting down the stairs , I studied myself in the mirror . Nervousness caused my hands to shake as I smoothed my dress over my hips . I saw myself from every angle , and was pleased with how I looked . In spite of Karen 's suggestion , I did wear panties , but they were new with a French cut . Being late spring , I didn 't bother with stockings . " You look damn sexy , " I said to myself out loud . I had always dressed conservatively , and the image before me was something new . The woman looking back from the mirror appeared sexy and a little wicked . I couldn 't remember the last time I felt that good about myself . Descending the stairs I was excited and a little scared , even shaking , but not enough that anyone noticed . I loved the rush of adrenaline I felt as they first caught sight of me . The look on Tom 's face when he first saw me was priceless . Thanks to Karen the dress ended almost at mid thigh . The fabric clung to my body in just the right way . The simple act of having the three of them see me that way caused my nipples to harden ; something that was not hidden from anyone . Nathan was grinning like the Cheshire Cat . " Good evening Nate , nice to see you . Hi Karen , " I said as I neared the bottom of the stairs . Turning to Tom I asked , " Are we ready to go ? " I was amazed , and very pleased , with the reactions I elicited with my entrance . Tom had volunteered to drive . Karen sat in front snuggled next to him . Nathan opened a back door for me , and watched approvingly when my dress rode up as I slid in . " Thank you , Nate , " I said . " My pleasure , " he responded , still grinning . As soon as he spo " Let 's dance . " Karen said as she led Tom to the dance floor . Nathan looked at me and asked , " Care to join them ? " Other than eyeing each other all through dinner , our interaction had been very formal . Walking to the dance floor was another adrenaline rush for me . I felt like an exhibitionist as the other patrons stared . Once on the dance floor , we both had the opportunity to loosen up . I had always thought of dancing as a form of foreplay , and that was exactly what we were doing . Karen loved to dance suggestively , and between the four of us , we provided more entertainment than the band . Part way through the first set , Tom led Karen back to the table , where another guy quickly asked Karen to dance . From then on , the locals took turns dancing with Karen as Tom sat back and watched . By the time a slow number began , I was really worked up . As the band started , I pressed myself against Nathan , and was pleased to feel the beginning of an erection . He pulled me into him , and as we danced I rubbed myself against his stiffening penis . I brushed my hard nipples against his chest and pushed my pelvis against his thigh . With my head on his shoulder , I could feel his breath in my hair . Whenever I caught a glimpse of Tom , he was watching us intently . At the end of the set , the four of us gathered back at the table . Nathan pulled his chair close to mine as he sat down . Tom had gotten us all fresh drinks . He handed me mine just as Nathan discreetly moved his hand under the table and placed it on my thigh . " Thanks , I can use that . I sure got hot dancing , " I responded . " Yes , it looked as you were getting very hot dancing , " Tom replied . With his fingers stroking my skin , Nathan began a conversation , but my mind was elsewhere . I could feel my body responding to his touch , and I was trying to fight it . As his hand moved up my thigh , and disappeared underneath the hem of my skirt , I began to tremble ever so slightly . My eyes were watching his mouth as he talked , noticing how perfect his smooth black skin looked . Without thinking about it , I reached out and stroke his jaw line , my fingertips glided lightly over the smooth skin of his face . He stopped talking as my fingers began tracing his lips . His tongue reached out and curled itself around my index finger , sucking it into his mouth . I moaned as he sucked and nibbled on my finger . Nathan started stroking my inner thigh . " Good band . I wonder where they 're from . " I started a trivial discussion as Nathan slowly worked his fingers further up my leg . Karen picked it up and was talking about seeing the lead guitarist before as Nathan 's fingers started to explore what was under my panties . It was all I could do not to wiggle in my seat as he made small circles around my labia using my own juices as lubricant . I couldn 't remember ever being so horny , and I was really enjoying the feeling . During a break in the banter about the band , I offered , " I 'm ready to go , how about the rest of you ? " By then my vagina was dripping and my panties were soaked . As we got up to leave , I noticed Nathan pulling his shirttail out to hide the bulge in his pants as best he could . He opened the car door for me , and after getting in , I slid to the middle so he could get in the same door and be right next to me . The hem of my dress rode to the top of my thighs . I left it there . Nathan put his arm around me and pulled me close to him . We weren 't out of the parking lot before Nathan leaned over and began kissing me full on the mouth and pressing his tongue forward . Eagerly , I accepted it , drawing it into my mouth . We started kissing , deep , long , noisy kisses , tongues darting , exploring . As we kissed , he moved his hand inside my dress to caress a breast . The first touch of his fingers against my hard , distended nipple was like an electric shock . I was breathless . I took his wrist , pulled him across to the other breast and closed my eyes , surrendering to the pleasure . I was so horny ; all I wanted was his hard penis inside me . I moved my hand to the mound in his pants , and started to knead the erection underneath . About that time , I heard Karen say , " For Christ 's sake Tom , keep your eyes on the road . " Nathan pulled at my right shoulder strap and I let go of him , bending my arm to slip the strap off , pulling his head down to my exposed breast . I shivered as he suckled on it . Soon the dress was down around my waist and his head was buried in the valley between my breasts . By the time we got home , Nathan and I were entwined in lust . Nathan was kissing my breasts and nibbling and sucking on my nipples . His trouser leg was wet from my juices as he dug his thigh into my crotch and I rubbed against him in an effort to ease my frustration . Knowing that we weren 't alone , that Tom and Karen were well aware of all that was happening just behind them , further fueled my excitement . After the heavy making out Nathan and I had been doing in the back seat , it took a little while for me to get myself back in order so we could enter the house . Although we seldom used the formal living room , with its thick , soft carpet it seemed a natural place to spend the rest of the evening . Tom brought out the champagne that had been chilling , and I selected romantic , slow music . As Tom and Karen settled on a couch , I started dancing again with Nathan . As we swayed slowly to the music , we pressed our bodies against each other ; he began kissing me passionately and deeply . I could feel his hard manhood pressing against me . I had been wet all evening , and my nipples were in a constant state of firmness . All of a sudden a feeling of concern overcame me that Tom might be getting jealous . A glance in his direction yielded a vision of a smiling Tom staring in our direction . Turning my back to Nathan , I requested , " Get that zipper , would you please ? " He quickly complied , and I let my dress slip to the floor . As I stepped out of it , I turned back to him . I swallowed dryly , feeling the excitement build in the pit of my stomach as I started to dance naked , except for my panties , before this handsome black man and in front of my husband and best friend . I felt feelings of lust and excitement I had never felt before . Karen and Tom were just sipping their drinks and watching us . I placed my hands on Nathan 's hips and moved to the music . Every move was suggestive . He pulled me against him , bringing his lips to mine . He held me in a close embrace as we kissed and swayed slowly to the music . I began to unbutton his shirt , letting my taut , pink nipples brush against the skin of his dark , muscular chest . My lust continued to build . I had seen white girls shamelessly coming on to black men in bars , and there I was , almost naked seducing someone I barely knew simply because I had a fantasy about having sex with a black man . I couldn 't wait any longer . With his shirt off , I moved to his belt and pants . Any attempt at dancing ceased as I pulled his pants and boxers down , running my hands down his legs in the process . That freed his , by now , very hard penis . Report Story byventurer15 © 0 comments / 127344 views / 16 favoritesShare the loveTweetReport a BugSubmit bug reportNext2 Pages : 1212GoLogin or Sign UpStoriesPoemsStory SeriesTags PortalChatForumAdult StoreMoviesWebcamsMobile VersionFAQSearchEnglish | Spanish | German | French | Dutch | Other languagesAll contents © Copyright 1998 - 2012 . Literotica is a trademark . No part may be reproduced in any form without explicit written permission . Terms Of Services | Report A Problem | PrivacyUsername : Password : Forgot your password ? Security code : Change pictureYour current user avatar , all sizes : You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation . Select new user avatar : Upload and save
|
Vince Gil , " When I Call Your Name " A beautiful Kentucky autumn day . Sunlight streams through trees on fire with fall color . A mother and her teenage daughter are driving on a winding two - lane road from Falmouth to Erlanger , a journey that takes just under an hour in real time but can feel like eternity when there 's homework to do , and laundry to wash , and daylight to burn . The family makes this drive often . The asphalt is familiar , the curves well - worn , the landmarks noted . At least one month a year , sometimes two , the mother 's husband and the teenage daughter 's father checks himself into the rehab hospital in the center of the small town of Falmouth to seek treatment for alcohol addiction . On Sundays , the mother and daughter visit . The drive down highway 27 in late morning is hopeful ; the evening drive back home is funereal . Both women miss their husband / father . Both worry about him - - Did he look jaundiced to you ? Do you think he 's putting on enough weight ? But the biggest worries on the ride home will always be unspoken . Will this be the last time ? Can he stay sober ? How much longer can we all do this ? This particular visit , the mother is in her new car . It 's a smart , red compact car with a Japanese engine and an American body , like no other car this UAW family has ever had . Its very presence in their lives points toward the new decade ahead and a time of change . The teenage girl will be finishing high school in a couple of years . The oldest daughter in the family recently became a mother to a little boy cherished beyond reason . The mother operates her own beauty shop inside an upscale nursing home and has money of her own to spend for the first time in many years . It would be easy to look ahead with hope . The new car has an FM radio , front and rear speakers , and a cassette tape deck . This is the first family car to have such ridiculous amenities . During the drive down that morning , the teenager first listened to a top - 40 station ; when that began to fade out , she popped in her Beatles Greatest Hits tape . The daughter is only listening because she has to . Until the fifth track . As soon as she hears the piano intro and Vince 's pure , high voice come in on the first verse , she suddenly becomes interested . She turns it up . Something about the plaintive lyrics and the soaring melody and the near - religious fervor of Vince Gil 's vocals - - the girl feels a lump rise in her throat and tears well in her eyes . It is the first time , but not the last , that she feels so moved by the beauty of a melody that she cries . That song is also how she learns there 's a " repeat " button on the tape deck . They replay the song several more times , let that side of the tape finish , then start the same side all over again just to count the tracks until they can hear that beautiful chorus . It becomes a standard on all their remaining drives to Falmouth together . And even after the little red car has been passed on and the mother gets newer , nicer vehicles , she always has to have a tape deck . Because during the most trying journeys of her life , she has to listen to Vince . Fast - forward many years later . It feels like one of those evening drives back home from Falmouth . The same feeling of blackness , of uncertainty , the same lack of hope . A journey has come to an end . The mother begins to stir . She is there , but she is no longer herself . The cancer has taken away too much . She moans ; the nurse comes in and says it 's not necessarily from pain and that it 's simply a sign that the end is near . On her phone the daughter first cues The Beatles - - " Here Comes the Sun " and " Let It Be , " two favorites from those days of long car rides on a country road . The mother quiets . She closes her eyes in half - sleep . The daughter has to leave soon ; she has to pick up her own daughter from school and feed her before resuming her vigil . One more song . As Vince Gil 's impossibly beautiful voice soars and fills the room , the mother 's eyes open briefly . For just a second she seems to know her daughter is there . The grip on her daughter 's hand becomes a little tighter . And as the song finishes she drifts back into restless sleep , something close to a smile on her face . Over the next year , the daughter will listen to her mother 's favorite song often . It will become a touchstone - - when she needs a good cry , when the grief becomes too much . A little over a year after she loses her mom , she will play that song one final time in the kitchen of her childhood home just hours before signing the papers that allow that home to belong to a new family . Rest in peace , Joan . It 's been three years today and not a day goes by that I don 't think of you . I 'll play some Vince for us today and remember those drives and the days when we found comfort in music . Posted by In going through old photo albums looking for inspiration , I found this . I can 't get tired of looking at it , you guys . Because , if you look closely , you can see my entire childhood . Clearly , I 'm playing school here in our wood - paneled family room with the awesome chalkboard my dad got me when I was in kindergarten , and which was my most beloved toy for many years after . The Big Yellow Bear and Mouse - a - fee Mouseriddle are not paying attention to my lesson and are engaged in some sort of risky behavior behind me . But I 'm wearing my favorite outfit , a hand - me - down from more affluent cousins who wore DESIGNER CLOTHES AS CHILDREN , so I don 't care . I 'm fabulous and I know it . The blue portable one is sitting on top of an ancient ice cream maker that I can only remember making ice cream in once . I 'm pretty sure everyone who ever had one of those ice cream makers only made ice cream in it once . There 's probably one of those in every basement in the lower 48 , still in the box , full of promise but smelling vaguely of mildew and disappointment . The closet behind me was the scariest place in my house . The previous owners were DIY non - geniuses who turned their carport into a family room and didn 't feel insulation was necessary . In the blizzard of ' 78 we had 6 inches of snow in that closet and it rained in there more than once . All that moisture and neglect caused a hole to rot away that over time became big enough that a large , angry stray cat once got in through it in the middle of the night and picked a fight with our house cat in the hallway outside my bedroom . It was one of the most bizarre things that has ever happened to me . And my life has been full of some pretty bizarre shit . Let us not forget the red shag carpet . And that fern whose frond is invading the far left of the picture . It really tied that whole room together . When there wasn 't snow in it . If you 've been wondering where I 've been , well . . . I 've been wondering that , too . After a declaration in May that I was going to get more serious about writing , after fixing up a quiet corner of our home into a writer 's nook , after even toying with the idea of taking a year off of my real job to see if writing full - time could produce anything , I failed to write anything this summer longer than a swim - season grocery list . And while those lists are long and include all the main food groups a growing swimmer needs , like Clif bars by the dozen , it wasn 't quite the writing I set out to do . I have excuses , if anyone cares to hear them . Ainsley had some recurring asthma issues that kept us in doctor 's offices and pharmacies more than usual . The 11 - 12 age group in swimming also has a more intense practice schedule than 10 - and - under swimming , so I was running to and from the pool and sweating it out in a hot car in the pick - up line more than I anticipated . We had more travel meets this summer , too , meaning not only was I busy every other weekend , I was stuck in a hotel room 2 hours away from home every other weekend . It 's hard to write when you 're never home , and hard to find something to write about when the only drama in your day was that your young athlete didn 't come out of practice on time because she prefers daydreaming in the locker room after practice to keeping Mom from sweating to the point of dehydration in her Pontiac Vibe . And yet I still could have used the cushion of summer vacation to take that step into writing I 'm always threatening to take . But I didn 't . I didn 't do a lot of things I set out to do this summer , actually . With the bottom line being . . . I sort of quit . Checked out . Gave up . I tried the various tricks in my bag I reserve for times like these . I did something outside every day . I exercised . I napped . I attempted meditation . I went away on vacation . Sometimes , briefly , the fog lifted . But it always came back , and by the time I started my pre - school - year extended employment days the first week in August , I was like that frog we always hear about who lands in a pot of water that keeps getting hotter and hotter but the poor amphibian doesn 't realize until too late that he 's thisclose to boiling . My realization that I was almost boiling came one sunny afternoon when I was headed to the gym to clear my mind and learned that Robin William was dead in an apparent suicide . Like many with ongoing depression and anxiety , it has been a trigger . The idea that someone as brilliant , as seemingly joyful , as family - oriented as that man could wake up one day and go , " F * ck it , I 'm done , " hits hard . If he couldn 't find a reason to go on , to push through the pain another day , what the hell hope do the rest of us have ? I have always assumed that no matter how dark things get for me when I 'm going through a depressive episode , I 'm always going to get better . Through medication or therapy or self - awareness or all three . Because I always have . And I would guess Mr . William always had , too . Until that one time he didn 't . And that one time he didn 't trumped the many times before that he did . It 's frightening beyond blog - post words . I 'm taking steps to get through whatever this is I 'm going through now . I acknowledge that a winter and spring that saw me weathering a basement flood , unexpected orthopedic surgery , swine flu , and dental woes culminating in dry sockets ( the pain of which I feel is tragically underrated ) could get my chemicals out of balance . I acknowledge that some changes in my work environment could have me feeling just overwhelmed enough to magnify everything . I acknowledge that on top of all of this I just turned 40 and have a very active family and probably don 't take enough time to do basic things for my mental health like get enough sleep and eat something for lunch with more healing power than a bag of Cheetos and a Snickers . Basically , I acknowledge that I have some baggage I need to put down . I 've enlisted some help . Things aren 't so bad that I don 't see hope . This , too , shall pass . And God knows I 've been through worse . In the meantime , I 'm just not really feeling like writing anything . I have just enough creative energy to say one light - hearted , possibly - funny sentence per day , and while that 's awesome for Facebook or Twitter , it makes blogging or starting the Great American Novel sort of complicated . So I 'm signing off for a while . ( To give you any indication how hard I 'm finding it to write , I started this on August 12 . And have only been able to focus on it roughly 30 seconds a day . ) I 'll focus on getting back on track . I may be back . Or I may start writing a memoir or some essays or , at the very least , a recipe book I can spiral - bind and pass along to my grandchildren when they come over to my house in their flying car and ask , " What is this ' book ' thing of which you speak , Mamaw ? " Because writing is important to me and I know I 'll find healing in it again . So , you 'll be hearing from me again soon . Maybe not on this platform , but somewhere . In the meantime , thanks for reading . Posted by When I was a kid , I cried every time we had house guests and they left . And every time we were house guests and we left . Goodbyes are hard for me ; I can 't seem to get over the " I miss you already " part to look forward to the " I 'll see you again soon " part . As I get older and begin to lose more people from my life , I 've also learned that , sadly , you can 't take for granted the whole " I 'll see you again soon " part . Goodbye is , sometimes , permanent . In my adult life , we 've had plenty of house guests who I 've hated to see go . But the vast majority live a short drive away . I know that , in a year at the absolute most , we 'll be hanging out sampling Kentucky 's finest bourbon again . When my college roommate and her family pulled out of my drive Sunday , it was different . She lives in Atlanta ; it had been seven years since I last saw her in person . We both have younger children and lives it 's hard to get away from . It could easily be seven years again . My tears Sunday night also came from the realization after spending a couple of days back in her company that my friends have become , especially in the two years since I lost Mom , my family . When you lose that last parent , you so often lose the various threads that tie you to the body of your blood family . I have a sibling , but we are two very different people with nothing really in common except for the genes we share . In times of crisis , I now turn to the group of people who support me by choice , not chance . The men and women who grew up with me , went to school with me , pass me in the halls every day at work , share a side yard . These are now my people . My tribe . They now know me better than anyone else still living on this planet . We 've shared laughs . We 've shared tears . We 've broken bread together at occasions of both great joy and great sorrow . We 've climbed mountains and fought in the trenches . Our bonds are deeper than blood . My college roommate 's visit brought back a trove of good memories . Of course we talked about those . But not having seen her in a while , we also re - discovered each other as adults . Adults who , since our last adventure , have lost some of the people we held most dear . Who are raising children in an increasingly scary world . Who balance work , family , and our homes . We 've changed . But we 've changed together in spite of the miles . And in just a couple of hours spent catching up on the front porch , we were right back to being two girls who shared a dorm room . No matter what , we 'll always have Danville . And though we aren 't connected by blood , I will always think of her , as I do so many others of my friends , as family . Family who have been there for me when I 've needed them the most . We weren 't born to the same mother and father . But my friends are my brothers and sisters all the same . Posted by Today being Mother 's Day , I will , of course , honor my mother . She was a good one , and I owe so much of who I am to her . But I also want to honor my other mothers ; those women in my life who had no genetic or societal obligation to me and my raising but who loved me , fed me , and cheered me on even when I was falling over hurdles / singing off - key / making questionable hair and clothing choices . In this spirit , I want to wish a happy Mother 's Day to Other Mother Jayne , my childhood best friend 's mom , who did not freak out the first time she invited me over for dinner and I put cottage ham and green beans ( the first time , but not last time , that I had that greasy - good Cincinnati specialty ) onto one single paper plate which the cottage ham just sort of . . . dissolved . God love her , she still didn 't freak out later that same weekend when I ate an entire jar of Klaussen pickles from her fridge . Basically what I 'm saying is there are a lot of times Jayne should have freaked out on me when I was at her house , which was almost daily . I was not big on social graces at the time . She gave me rides home from everything her daughter talked me into participating in and cheered for me when I ran the last leg of the girls ' 4x400 relay in 8th grade , even when every team but ours had already finished the relay before I even started my leg , leaving me to do the loneliest 400 - meter " dash " in the history of awkward athletics . She was always patient , always kind , always welcoming , and still looks out for me to this day . I also want to say " Thank you " to the Other Mother who is , actually , my older sister . Eleven years my senior , she filled in the gaps that my mom couldn 't or wouldn 't . I didn 't realize it until years after I left home , but my mother was borderline agoraphobic . Especially in those early years of our move to northern Kentucky , which must have completely overwhelmed her , seeing as how she had spent her entire life previous in rural small - town one - street - light Appalachia . My sister went to school open houses , spelling bees , school plays , parent - teacher conferences , and even visited my kindergarten class last - minute when my mom bailed on her plans to talk to us about her job for Career Day . ( For what it 's worth , my classmates were just as enthralled by my teenage sister 's description of working the cash register and baking potatoes after school at Ponderosa as they would have been by my mom talking about giving wash - aLibrary Lady There are certain things we wish for our children . Health . Enough intelligence , initiative , and ambition to place them on a solid - enough career path to allow them to eventually move out of our basements and feed and clothe themselves . Self - esteem . Not necessarily beauty , but at least straight teeth . Braces , they be expensive . Sometimes we want them simply to be a little like us . To share a common passion , to have our same sense of humor , to be good at something we 're also good at . It helps assure us that while we can 't be immortal in our own bodies , we can live on through passed - down traits from generation to generation . Which is why it pains me deeply to say this today , on the eve of May the fourth : my daughter hates Star Wars . Each word a dagger to my nerdy heart . Hates . It . I have to believe that this hate has more to do with taking a stubborn stand against something the yucky - blucky boys in her class love than with the movies themselves . After all , we can 't even get her to sit down to watch the first one . ( And , to be clear , by " first one " I mean " Episode IV . " I am a purist in this regard , and don 't you dare try to Jedi - mind - trick me into believing otherwise . ) She decided she hated everything pertaining to the Force several years ago before I even had a 31 - inch Darth Vader gracing our hearth or displayed my lightsaber over the mantle . She hates it on principle and in theory , not so much in practice . This gives me hope . A New Hope . A " Help me , Obi - Wan Kenobi , you 're my only hope " hope . Seriously . She likes Gandalf , she just may like old Ben , too . She greatly enjoyed the Lord of the Rings trilogy and is suffering , like the rest of us , through The Hobbit ( she adores Legolas , so thank God he makes an appearance ) , so one would think Star Wars would be a natural fit . Her generation is also accustomed to dystopian fantasies and rebellious teens blowing stuff up ; they cut their teeth on The Hunger Games . I can 't help but think a girl who adores Katniss Everdeen will someday cheer for Luke to get that proton torpedo into a hole roughly the size of a womp rat . Luke and Katniss are cut from the same cloth , really - - rural teens who find themselves fighting ( and whining about fighting ) against a vast and oppressive regime using skills they didn 't know they had until called upon to save the world as they know it . Katniss even sports a very Padawan - esque over - the - shoulder braid . Ainsley has to at least feel some cathartic teen angst when watching these movies , right ? I plan to find out . I have been over the moon ( I mean Death Star ; that 's no moon ) ever since the fuzzy black - and - white picture of the cast of the new film was released this week . There 's Carrie ! And Mark ! And Harrison ! And the impossibly tall guy that plays Chewie ! And OMG Andy - freaking - Serkis . My two geek worlds collide in that picture and I can hardly see straight . So a proclamation went out last night over dinner . As a family , over the course of the next year , we will watch the original trilogy . Multiple times , if necessary . If we have to , we will watch the prequels . But only if we have to . I may not be able to make her love it , but I want her to at least be able to tolerate it . For we have a date . We will go , as the family unit we are , to the opening of the new film when it finally arrives in theaters . We will do this because the best memories from my childhood revolve around seeing various trilogy films for the first time - - I saw Episode IV the night it preWait , what ? Where was I ? I would imagine that someday my daughter will have children of her own . And she will pass on to them some of her childhood loves - - Phineas and Ferb , Harry Potter , The Hunger Games , Divergent . They will either like it or they won 't , and she will have to cope with that . If I am lucky enough to still be on this planet and not be a shadow - y , see - through apparition appearing at Ewok celebrations , I 'd like my grandkids to ask their mother why Mamaw has a big robot - looking guy dressed in a black cape on display in the basement right next to a weird light - up sword ( and , if dreams come true , an R2 - D2 keggerator . ) And I 'd like my daughter to answer that question with something other than , " Because your Mamaw is a weirdo . " Ideally , her answer to why Mamaw has all these strange things in the basement would begin thus : Always a nerdy girl who couldn 't decide between the Barbie Dream House and the Millennium Falcon , I became obsessed with the night sky and with the burning desire for my own telescope when I was in fifth grade . I don 't know how it started , but I know that by Christmas of my 6th - grade year I was lobbying hard for a backyard telescope . It took my parents so off - guard that my mother began to ask her hair clients if they knew anything about amateur astronomy . It turns out one did , and before the telescope came I inherited five years ' worth of back issues of Astronomy magazine , cast - offs from the college - departed son of one of Mom 's ladies . The magazines , it would turn out , were better than the telescope itself . The telescope we could afford , purchased at Toys ' R ' Us , was a huge disappointment . My dad and I could see the craters of the moon and , with a solar filter we probably shouldn 't have trusted ( I swear I haven 't being seeing colors as brightly the past 29 years ) , some impressive sunspot activity . But stars were no starrier through the lens of our scope , and Jupiter and Saturn and Mars no more than small bright discs with no detail . The telescope sat in the corner of my bedroom collecting dust until I myself went off to college , when it became the problem of our local thrift store . But no dust gathered on the Astronomy magazines . I marveled at galaxies , nebulae , and clusters , and the amazing telescopes , trackers , and specialized cameras that made capturing their images in colorful , detailed glory possible . I wondered what sort of training one needed to have that job - - sit at an observatory under a huge reflector telescope seeking and finding the marvels of our vast universe . Years later I found out that the training one needs to do this job actually requires a hell of a lot of advanced math , so I lost interest in it as a career . But I never lost interest in looking through a telescope and seeing the beautiful and amazing universe we live in . So much so that I majored in astronomy in our state 's Governor 's ScholarsLibrary Lady
|
Searching for Hope This headline had me up most of the night , steaming with anger and crying for my brother . The time has come where I can 't stay silent any longer . While we 've told our stories to multiple news outlets ( locally WCAX & WVNY / WFFF and nationally through NBC News ) , I 've reached the point where I want to scream it from the rooftops in hopes someone will hear me and help us find justice for my brother . I should start by saying , it hasn 't been a good year for children in Vermont , specifically those under Department of Children and Families ( DCF ) care . In February , Dezirae Sheldon , 2 of Rutland , died from head trauma she allegedly suffered at the hands of her step father . This was AFTER she was returned to that home with two broken legs that were allegedly caused by her mother . This little girl 's story breaks my heart - as does any story of a child who is abused by the very people who should be protecting her . In April , Peighton Geraw , 14 months old of Winooski , was allegedly murdered by his mother . A DCF worker had been in the home an hour before emergency medical services were called . There was an uproar that two kids died within two weeks whom DCF should have been taking care of . There have been several other cases of child homicide in Vermont this year but for my own sanity , I can 't get into them here right now . Here 's the thing . To me , DCF is set up fail . Not only are they " woefully understaffed " but they receive so little support from our state , our government and our residents . A child dies at the hands of their parents and everyone points a finger at DCF . No one looks at the fact that DCF can 't just pull a child out of a home . That 's up to the courts - who ultimately made the decision to return Dezirae to an abusive situation that ultimately cost her her life . And for all we know , the DCF worker in Peighton 's case was petitioning the court for his removal - but an hour is just not enough time to get that done . DCF has all the responsibility , none of the power and now shoulders all of the blame . My experience with DCF couldn 't be more different . The support they gave my family as we brought Mark home , through a year of fostering , being present at his adoption , coming to his funeral and still checking in with our family is something I will forever be grateful for . What 's failing our kids is the legal system . There have been no trial dates set for any of the people accused of killing any of these children . Including my brother . If you read his autopsy , the cause of death is homicide . No one has even been charged in his death , even though only his biological parents were present ( by their own admission ) when the abuse that ultimately took his life occurred . As a matter of fact , his biological mother has had at least three more children after him ( all were removed from her care and parental rights terminated ) and from what I understand , Mark was not the first child removed from his biological parents " care . " We met with AG Bill Sorrell in March to discuss whether or not we had enough information for a case . The problem wasn 't proving that Mark 's injuries happened or caused his death , but WHO perpetrated those actions . He was kind and concerned . He listened to our stories , looked at our pictures and explained they were doing all they could to build a case . He promised to keep us in the loop . We left allowing ourselves to feel some hope that justice would be served for our little Markie . But in July , the AG had the victim 's advocate working our case ( he couldn 't call us himself or arrange another meeting ? ! ) break the news that because they couldn 't prove WHICH parent actually caused the injuries ( even though not only did he have a TBI from being shaken , he had other healing wounds from breaks to his clavicle and leg ) they couldn 't proceed with a case . So lemme get this straight . Someone shook this 5 week old baby so hard it caused a skull fracture , waited 72 hours to get medical attention , signed a DNR and ordered him extubated and THEN fled the state ? How is that not BOTH parents ' responsibility ? How are they not both at fault ? But that 's not how Vermont law works . Only one can be charged with the abuse and death while the other is considered an accessory . And there is no law allowing both parents to be charged and allow a jury to decide which parent did what . It 's disgusting . And disturbing . And now , even though he couldn 't help us , AG Sorrel is going to defend DCF , which is his job . HOWEVER , if he can find a case against them and reason that this man should get a payout , I don 't even know what I will do ! First off , where was this father when his daughter 's legs were broken ? Where was this dad when that poor girl was returned to that home ? Where has he been since her death in February ? And now he comes forward and Bill Sorrell thinks he might have s a case against the state ? And what will he get from this case ? MONEY ! Not justice - that will hopefully be awarded when Dezirae 's step father finally has his day in court . It sure won 't bring her back - just like getting charges filed against Markie 's bio parents won 't bring him back . But the message being sent now is that DCF shouldn 't get involved either because they have everything to lose and nothing to gain . We have a duty to find justice for these kids . But if our government can 't help and our legal system won 't help - what other options do we have ? ! I don 't know if anyone has the answer . I know I don 't . I know I have rage and an immense amount of sadness . What I need is hope . Hope that we can stop these monsters from killing their own children . Hope that justice will eventually be served . But that hope is fading for me and I don 't know where to find more . For now , all I can do is get this anger out of me and let myself believe that hope will find its way back to me . I apologize for the disjointed nature of this post . I 'm sure I have left out details and missed some facts but if I didn 't find a way to assuage this anger , it 's not healthy . So here are the inner workings of my brain laid out before you in all their glory . XO Posted by nachoblog311 | November 14 , 2014 | Categories : Uncategorized | 1 Comment No One Calls Me a C Word and Gets Away With It So for anyone that missed it , Ryan and I decided to take a mini " honeymoon " to Albany for the America East tournament at the beginning of the month . Shortly after we arrived and realized how ghetto not just our accommodations were , but the entire city , we decided it was not anything resembling a honeymoon at all . But we made the most of it . Our team lost ( they were robbed . Another story for another time ) . Prior to these getaway , I 'd never used Yelp though Ryan swears by it . After being very disappointed in our experience at a restaurant we visited within an hour of getting to town , I decided I couldn 't NOT tell people about what happened . So I started an account and I wrote some reviews : Was in town for the AE basketball tournament and decided to check out this place for beers when we got into town since it was across the parking lot from our hotel . Waitress was friendly as we ordered 2 large Coors Lights . After 5 minutes she asked us what we ordered . She stumbled A LOT . I watched several people get walked in on while using the restrooms because the doors apparently didn 't lock correctly . Waitress grabbed my debit card off the table and proceeded to go INTO THE BATHROOM with it and was gone for almost 10 minutes before she returned for my signature ! Needless to say I cancelled my debit card , didn 't leave a tip ( as a server for 10 + years I don 't do that often but this was warranted ) and will tell anyone who will listen not to go there . To be fair , I didn 't try the food but even the pictures of food on the menu looked gross so … After a TERRIBLE experience down the street at another restaurant , we decided to check out Smokey Bones . We 've frequented the chain before but this was our first time in this location . Casey & Sylvia were super friendly and it was much appreciated . We ordered just some apps and some beers . It was so great we went back Sunday after our beloved UVM lost in the AE tournament to drown our sorrows . Casey remembered us and was just fantastic . I don 't plan on coming back to Albany any time soon but if I do , I 'll be in ! Wish I would have had more time to explore the menu but my husband and I had somewhere to be so we just ordered some nuggets and fries . I was please but he found the nuggets and sauces to be bland . Quick and super friendly service . Would love to try again ! As you all know , I am the first to speak out when I have a FANTASTIC experience with a company or person and also if my experience is really bad . I was very touched when I received a message shortly after my review went up from the manager of the restaurant . With his name and personal cell phone number should anything happen with my debit card . it didn 't , but that peace of mind was fantastic . No tip ? Not $ 1 ? You couldn 't part with $ 1 ? You are a cunt . If you were a server , you would never do that , unless you are a total cunt . I hope you got an STD from your motel sheets . You are mean and funny . Why are you so focused on the bathroom ? You must not have been enjoying your company , or vice versa , ad you seem weird . What did you think the waitress did w your debit card in the bathroom ? Seriously , what went through your head ? Btw , the motel , not hotel , is a haven for prostitutes . So your debit card in the bathroom while she was probably making a call to her babysitter , and or freshening up wasn 't as nearly bad as the things that have gone on in the bed you slept in . Naturally it stung a bit at first - I mean what did I do to this chick ? Then I was pissed and not only did I block her , I reported her directly to Yelp ( she had other very hateful reviews of other Yelp users on her page ) . Then I noticed she looked A LOT like the waitress we had that night . So I messaged that manager back and let him know the user name of the person bothering me and offered to forward the messages to him if necessary . Yes , we stiffed a waitress . Who didn 't do her job . Who expects to be paid for a job that wasn 't done well ? I mean you had ONE job - bring me two beers . We were the only table in the bar that night - how hard of a request was that ? I didn 't mention in my review that not only was I 99 % sure she was drunk but I watched her try to take a man into the bathroom ( my seat faced the bathroom for those of you wondering like Jaja J what my fascination was ) There was also a thought that she could take ALL my money because who the fuck knows what she did with my debit card in the bathroom ? ! Anyway , I had to share this because I find it funny and a perfect example of how NOT to use sites like Yelp . Especially if you were my waitress because I just emailed your boss and demanded you lose your job . Happy karma boomerang to you ! xo Posted by nachoblog311 | March 31 , 2014 | Categories : Uncategorized | 1 Comment Dear Miss Manners , Where Are YOUR Manners ? ! A D friend posted a link to this article yesterday on Twitter . Go ahead and read it . I 'll wait . I know that if you read it you know that I am FUMING ! I very much wanted to write a response then but I couldn 't see clearly enough through my haze of anger and disappointment to formulate a cohesive and appropriate response . Twenty four hours later , I 'm going to give it a try . First off Miss Manners , no one wishes more than I that managing my diabetes was as easy and unobtrusive to others as taking a pill . Trust me on that one . Getting a drop of my blood from my bruised and calloused fingers 6 , 8 even 10 times a day is not something I do for fun . Neither are the multiple daily injections I used to take ( NINE shots , EVERY DAY ) or the insertion of my insulin pump or continuous glucose monitor . They are something I do to stay alive . Managing diabetes isn 't fun . Or easy . And by telling your readers that we should go into a bathroom to take care of our failed pancreas ( that is by no means our doing by the way ) you are telling us we should be ashamed . Well guess what , I 'm not . I 'm proud that I understand my body better than most people I know . I 'm proud to educate those around me about diabetes and how it effects my everyday life - which it does . Diabetes management consumes so much time . In the seven years since my diagnosis I would guess diabetes management has consumed WEEKS of my life . That is not an overstatement . I 'm sure if you spoke with anyone who had diabetes before posting your response you would have known that . I 'm grateful that many of my fellow PWDs used your comment columns to educate and not attack . That 's why I 'm proud to belong to a community such as the DOC ( Diabetes Online Community ) . We know anyone not living with this disease or being around it on a regular basis simply doesn 't get it . And that 's OK . We 'll teach you . What I won 't do ? Go into an unsanitary public restroom to manage my condition in order to avoid making someone else uncomfortable . Especially when time is of the essence as it so often can be with diabetes . I 'm not even sorry if the sight of MY blood or a needle going into MY skin bothers YOU . When you are responsible for keeping yourself alive , you do what you have to do . Especially with a condition like diabetes where a situation can become an emergency faster than you can blink . You wouldn 't dare tell a breastfeeding mom to go into a public restroom to help others avoid discomfort , please remember that before offering the same suggestion to other people for whom it does not make sense . An aside to the commenter who said that I can explain to her children why I 'm doing " weird things to my body " , happily . Because obviously you aren 't open minded to realize people are fighting battles every day that you can 't even begin to comprehend . I 'm happy to help your children open their minds and expand their horizons because clearly you are not . These " weird things " I 'm doing to my body , it 's keeping me alive . I don 't like it any more than you - trust me - but a diabetic 's got to do what a diabetic 's got to do . And what a diabetic doesn 't have to do ? Ever ? Is apologize for taking the best care of themselves they can - whatever that happens to mean . Posted by nachoblog311 | February 20 , 2014 | Categories : Uncategorized | 7 Comments We Eloped ! By now you 've probably seen somewhere in the Social Media Stratosphere that yes , Ryan & I eloped this past weekend . It was intimate . It was magical . It was PERFECT ! Many people were surprised ( ok , I think MOST people were surprised ! ) and while few have offered their opinion on why ( no , I am NOT pregnant ! ) I 'm here to give you ALL the details , including the why . In the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving , I noticed Ryan began to shut down at any mention of the wedding . We 'd gone from planning a small intimate beach side ceremony with a a reception for 200 + the week after , to eliminating the big party and only having a ceremony for about 20 on Crane Beach in Ipswich , MA . Yes , we would save A LOT of money by not feeding 200 people but it was still going to cost us a few grand for that party for 20 . Ryan and I have been planning on THIS being the year we make the leap to homeownership . Our lease is up on Halloween and we don 't plan on renewing it . Instead we are going to be ready to purchase a home and if we 're not quite there , we have a six month plan to get there ( because if moving in with your parents is part of the discussion then you need to make sure there 's a solid game plan ! ) . After some badgering on my part , Ryan informed me he was concerned about not only being able to afford a wedding and a house in the same year . He wasn 't even sure how we would afford the wedding part . I assured him that I meant it when I said , " I just want to be married to you . I will marry you in city hall on my lunch break in my pajamas if it means I get to be your wife . " So we talked a bit more and on Black Friday , we picked up our marriage license , peeked at a calendar and decided January 18th was going to be our day . This was hands down the hardest secret I have ever had to keep . I wanted to shout from the rooftops that Ryan , the man who wouldn 't admit we were a couple until AFTER we moved in together , was ready to marry me . He was as ready as I was to pledge our love to one another until the end of time . The problem was , not only could I not tell our secret but I had to tell a bunch of lies too ! As you can imagine over the holiday season we saw SO . MANY . PEOPLE . Friends and family alike kept asking how the wedding planning was going . I had no choice to but to lie , but it greatly pained me . So I spent the next six weeks planning our elopement . Ryan was an active & willing participant in the planning but between his traveling and the fact that he just wanted me to be happy , he didn 't have too many requests . Well , besides doing it inexpensively . Because I 've been a part of so many weddings over the past decade , I knew exactly where to splurge ( PHOTOGRAPHER ! ) and where to scrimp ( accessories like jewelry and shoes ) . I also had so many contacts and was able to call in a bunch of favors . We 're both incredibly lucky to have so many people that love us and are willing to not only help us out but keep this tremendous secret . Here 's a breakdown of what we spent . There won 't always be dollar amounts because some of the vendors are friends and gave us deals I would rather not advertise . I will tell you the whole thing came in under a thousand dollars . I got my dress , shoes , bra , earrings , shawl and both of our wedding bands on eBay . For $ 120 total . My friend Katie , who does alterations on formal wear as her full time job , kindly took some time out of her busy schedule of also being a mommy to 2 . 5 year old twins AND a 5 year old to give me the hem I needed at a price I could afford . We got our BEAUTIFUL flowers from our friend Dennille at Village Green Florist . She was phenomenal . She was great to work with , easy to contact and when she had to tell me just a few days before that she couldn 't get peonies after all , I was grateful for her honesty . When we showed up to pick up the flowers on Saturday afternoon , I was blown away . I actually think the bouquet she put together was even prettier than the one I chose ! And Ryan 's boutonniere had me fawning over it all night . It was SO CUTE ! My friend Steph and her sister Leslie came to my house to do my hair & makeup as a gift for us . Steph is INCREDIBLE with makeup and hopes to one day open up her own makeover shop . I have yet to have anyone but my sister do my makeup and like it . Until my wedding day . It was my first successful smokey eye and I felt unbelievably beautiful . Leslie just began cosmetology school but the chignon she gave me was ABSOLUTELY what I was looking for . I have NEVER felt as beautiful as I did that night . And when Ryan finally got to see me all glammed up he actually jumped and his eyes got big . He was as happy as I was which I was had hoped for . We found our JP on the City of Burlington website and decided she was the one because how the ceremony went and what we paid was up to us . So Ryan & wrote the ceremony during a roadtrip to visit our niece and we paid her $ 50 for the less than 5 minutes it took for her to marry us . She was fantastic and when we got outside and joined hands , I was giggling . She looked at us and said , " you guys are going to make ME cry ! " I took that as a big compliment ! We were married at Hotel Vermont . What a GORGEOUS venue ! We 'd originally planned to marry in front of the fireplace in the lobby but it was crowded and loud so our JP suggested we use an outdoor firepit . So yes , we got married outside in Vermont , in January . I wouldn 't trade it for the world ! Halfway through the ceremony we noticed a small crowd had gathered behind us and they clapped and hugged us after the ceremony was over . When we walked back into the hotel the bar erupted in applause and a kind stranger even sent us a bottle of champagne ( THANK YOU ! ) . They charged us nothing to use the venue in exchange for us eating dinner at the restaurant there , Juniper . Neither of us had really eaten all day and I still wasn 't very hungry when it was time for dinner . So we ordered a couple different plates to share . We had a steak tartare starter and some fried chicken and french fries as well . It was DELICIOUS ! And our photographer . I could go on and on and on about how much I love Kate . We met her at the wedding of a friend a few years ago and the three of us just clicked . We had been working on booking her as our photog for the beach as it 's close to where she lives . She gave us an amazing deal because she said she knew we would help her create beautiful photos . When I emailed her that plans had changed , she still wanted to be a part ; even though she lives 3 hours away . But she drove those three hours , took some of the most amazing photos I have ever been a part of and then drove 3 hours home . She wouldn 't let us buy her a meal or a hotel room and she gave us a CD with 43 images that she worked on while we ate . I almost think she enjoyed the night more than us - but I doubt it . We did have whoopie pies for our wedding dessert made by our friend Carrie of Nibble or Nosh Bakeshop . These were another wedding gift from a kind friend . Ryan chose S ' mores and I chose Salted Caramel . By the time we finished dinner we were exhausted and full . So we went home and put on our PJs - by 9pm ! We saved the whoopie pies for breakfast the next morning and that was a glorious plan ! Nothing tastes as good as chocolate early on a Sunday morning when you 're still riding the high from a perfect wedding ! It was also a great thing to do before we hit send on the email telling our families what we had done . We had many phone calls and emails Sunday but everyone was thrilled for us and supportive of the decision we made . I was worried someone would be upset or disappointed but that was not the case at all ! The night was perfect . It was better than perfect and I may need to create a new word just to convey how much I loved every detail . At the end of the day no matter how much money you spend or drama you live through in the planning process , you still end up husband and wife . Ryan & I had always been more about the marriage than the wedding and this was the perfect way to illustrate it . Yes , I would have loved to have our families there or finally get to dance to " our song . " But at the end of the day , Ryan is my husband and NOTHING could make me happier than having him legally obligated to spend the rest of his life with me 🙂 Posted by nachoblog311 | January 21 , 2014 | Categories : Uncategorized | 3 Comments My Farewell Letter As some of you know , I gave my notice at my current job last week . I will be starting a new job , in a new industry , next Tuesday . I am beyond excited . Anyone that follow 's my Twitter feed knows that I LOVE my job but I HATE the company I work for . Or more specifically WHO I work for . Before I leave on Thursday I will be sending this email to the man who made me want to leave this job . I wanted to share it with you . Why ? Because it 's a free damn country and I can do what I want ! LOL ! Anyway , I 'm posting it here to give you an inside track into what went wrong in a job I can see myself in forever . But my pride can 't be beaten and I know I 'm coming out of this on top . xo I wanted to take a moment or two to reflect on the last year and a half since I began my employment here at * * * * . I 'd like to first say thank you for the opportunity to work for a company that I believe in and that I will always remember . I was welcomed here with open arms and I will never , ever forget that . It felt like coming home . Maybe that 's because of my father 's printing background and how the smell of ink will always bring me back to running around press rooms as a little girl . Maybe it 's because I felt my skills surrounding social media and writing were so well used right away in my employment and there was such trust involved all around . I can 't pinpoint the exact reason but I do know I saw myself growing old at * * * * . I thought I had finally found a career path . And now , I 'm leaving . Sounds strange after all the reasons I love this place . For that reason , I feel like I owe you an explanation . My basic reasons for leaving here are not what many people 's motivation would be . It 's not for more money , better hours , superior benefits , more prestige - even though my new job does offer those things and then some . I am leaving * * * * because since shortly after my arrival my eyes were opened to the inner workings of this company . My self esteem and self confidence have taken big hits in the last several months and I learned a very long time ago that NOTHING is worth losing myself for . Not money . Not a job . Not anything . When we had that big meeting about smoke breaks months ago , the biggest thing any of us said was that if you made this rule it would be followed IF the rule applied to everyone . It NEVER HAS . Your sister , and a manager , take several smoke breaks EVERY DAY . Your employees are not stupid regardless of how you feel or what you tell them ( yes , you told me I was stupid one day . I will remember that for the rest of my life as well ) and if you think this has gone unnoticed ? You are wrong . This is a common theme here . There is a vast array of favoritism and as long as it continues you are at a high risk of losing good employees . You have some incredibly hard working employees . While it 's nice to get a bonus around the holidays , it 's also nice to be told you 're doing a good job the whole year round . This place is SERIOUSLY lacking in appreciation . I think because to you , appreciation equals money . Yes , money is nice . No one ever has enough and everyone is thankful for more . But you 'd be amazed how much a " Way to go ! " comment can accomplish . Just knowing your hard work isn 't going unnoticed means a lot . Yes , a lunch for your employees once in a while would work too . It 's amazing how little it takes to raise workplace morale and how much of a difference it makes . And YOU don 't get to be the one to decide if your company has a morale problem . If your employees are mentioning it , you 're already losing them . And saying , " Good job TEAM " when you should be saying , " Good job Jess " says a lot . Another example ? I worked really hard to bring in * * * * 's business knowing I would get no benefit from it other than giving me more work and therefore job stability . I did it anyway . And I fought to keep them happy . This was never once mentioned by you until AFTER I gave my notice . That 's sad . And too little , too late . I sent tens and tens of leads to * * , * * * and * * * * & just a " thanks " from them was nice . And one last thing on this subject - if you promise your employees a prize for completing a certain task ( i . e bringing in 100 + new customers in a fiscal year ) and you don 't follow through ? They WILL remember . And they will stop trying so hard to please you . Lastly , the straw that broke the camel 's back ? The Flash Report . After months and months of feeling like I was being disrespected and underappreciated you then made me feel as if I wasn 't trusted either . And that 's just sad . If you feel someone is taking advantage of you - take care of the problem . That is was a GOOD supervisor / manager etc would do . Not punish an entire group of people . The fact that our presses are booked out 7 - 10 business days tells me your CSRs are getting their work done . Micromanaging only ever accomplishes the opposite of what you set out to do . And until you fully understand what EACH of your employees really does all day ( hint , as a CSR I did A LOT more than enter orders and make cold calls . Also ? Cold calls are NOT a CSR job , it 's a sales job . If I wanted to drum up business for you I would expect to be paid a commission on it ) it will always look like a lot less when written on paper . I 'm not writing down that I answered the phone 27 times , spoke with several customers for 10 + minutes and responded to over 100 emails - on top of entering 15 + orders , submitting 20 quotes for update , followed up on 6 quotes and 2 new orders . I 'm all for being held accountable for my work but the orders I enter every day and the emails I send every day - both of which you track anyway through internal measures - speak for themselves . The day you ( well , * * * * * through you ) announced this report was the day I started looking for a new job . I was done at that moment . Oh yeah , taking away our hour lunches was just unnecessary . I have a better handle on my workload than anyone - especially you . I worked through lunch or took shorter ones regularly before you enacted that policy . The only thing it made me do was to make sure I took every minute of that 30 minutes you so graciously allowed us to have away from the pressures of this desk and this job to collect my thoughts and prepare myself for the second half of the day . I never worked through my lunch again after that unless I was making up time for leaving early for an appointment and such . I do believe you are a good person with a kind heart and that 's why I wrote this email . I knew if I sat down to tell you this I wouldn 't be able to get everything out for fear of hurting you . But at the same time , I feel I owe you this explanation . I owe it to the wonderful coworkers that I will miss so dearly who feel they can 't speak up for themselves or are ignored or degraded when they try . I owe it to myself to leave here with a clear conscience and my head held high . With all that said , I again would like to thank you for the opportunities I had here . I wish you nothing but the best in the future for this company and for your family . I will miss seeing your wife and laughing with your daughter and hearing about all of your son 's adventures living his dream . I very much plan on staying in touch and hard feelings are not my intention . I truly hope you can see that . Posted by nachoblog311 | October 8 , 2013 | Categories : Uncategorized | Leave a comment Working on my A1C Anyone with diabetes ( or anyone who is involved in the life of someone with diabetes ) knows it 's all about numbers . It 's about targets & ratios & calculations . It 's about carb counts and blood sugar logs and the greatest number of all ? The Hemoglobin A1C . Now , i must say all those other numbers are important so that you can achieve a goal A1C - you must be diligent about correcting & maintaining blood sugars in the optimal range . You must accurately count all carbs & bolus appropriately . There 's really a lot of " must " s & " should " s but when it comes down to it , I put FAR too much stock into what that particular number is every 3 months . My feelings on my A1C have waxed and waned over the years . Sometimes I 'm able to smile and be proud . Other times I view it as a reminder that diabetes is a daily struggle and I use it as motivation to do better . When I was hospitalized for DKA back in June , my A1C was an 8 . 4 . Not optimal , but not my worst ( that would be in the 9s ) . I was only 7 . 4 at diagnosis and got down to a 5 . 8 within the first three months ( I credit the divorce diet , a honeymoon period and an amazing amount of dedication to my new routine for that - where can I find those things now ? ! Well except the divorce diet - fuck that noise ! ) . And now I 've begun making that number super important again . Because Ryan & are talking about babies . Not immediately mind you , but it 's not a decision to be entered into lightly . We have our age to think about ( we 're both RAPIDLY approaching our mid 30s ) , the fact that we 're getting married next summer ( I would like to do the get married / have a baby thing in the traditional order . Not because I judge people who don 't , but because it 's what we want for US . ) and then of course , there 's diabetes . Getting my body ready to have a baby isn 't an overnight decision . I discussed it with my endocrinologist for the first time about 4 months ago . So that would be ultimately two years before we 're ready to start trying . We discussed A1C goals ( she wants under 7 , I want under 6 . 5 ) and then I 'll be sent to the High Risk OB to discuss conception planning . SO naturally , I have begun paying much closer attention to my numbers on a daily basis . Below are some things I have done , am doing or will be doing to attain the best A1C possible - while still maintaining a " normal " lifestyle ( aka , I 'm not going to drastically change meal plans or exercise plans to something that it not able to be maintained long term . Consider it the difference between Weight Watchers ( a lifestyle change ) and a yo - yo diet ( a quick way to achieve a goal but not easy to maintain for a long period of time ) ) . Maybe these tips can help you . Maybe you can suggest things I 'm not doing or should be . Tell me what 's worked for you in your struggle to achieve YOUR perfect A1C . Pre - Bolusing - I have never gotten into the habit of taking insulin BEFORE I eat . Yes , it makes sense to have the insulin working before the carbs hit my system but I always had a problem with that . You see , my eyes are MUCH larger than my stomach . Therefore , when I sit down with a plate , bolus for everything on it , then only eat half - I 'm fucked . I worked with my endo and now I bolus for 50 % of what 's on my plate 5 - 15 minutes before I eat . Then when I 'm done I bolus for anything additional not covered by the prebolus . I 'm finding this is helping me not ride the glucoaster so much ( and also has relieved a lot of nausea issues resulting from high BGs and blood sugar spikes and dips ) . Overall , another win . Fingersticks - I just upgraded to the Dexcom G4 sensor and I LOVE it ( review coming soon ! ) . But even with this 24 - 7 glimpse of my blood sugars , I am still averaging anywhere from 6 - 10 fingersticks a day ( I refuse to call it testing - I can 't pass or fail a fingerstick ) . For some reason , these numbers make me feel more accountable . And the biggest difference I 've found for them is … keeping my kit in the bathroom overnight . I 've discovered that I am more likely to test during the night if my glucometer is in the bathroom . I have no light in my bedroom during the night and I 'm not going to turn one on & wake Ryan up to do so . Instead , I 'm usually up AT LEAST once in the night so it 's nice to get that reading - especially if it 's high I can get it moving lower while I sleep instead of waking up in a fog and chasing it all morning ( or all DAY sometimes ! ) . And it makes sense since if my sugar is high I 'm going to wake up to use the bathroom more anyway . I have done more middle of the night fingersticks in the last 2 months than I have in my 6 years with diabetes combined . It 's amazing - and I can tell it 's helping ! High / Low Tolerance - I 've been having some issues with lows for a few weeks and just did some basal changes with the help of my endo . Once I even out again ( why does changing your basal rate by just 0 . 10 unit make things freak the fuck out for a whole week ? ! ) I 'm planning on changing the alarms on my sensor and my BG targets on my pump . Right now my sensor is set to alarm " high " at 200 and " low " at 80 while my BG target on my pump is 80 - 130 . In the next few weeks , I plan on changing my high alarm to alert at 180 and my low alarm still at 80 ( I LOVE sitting in the 80s and wouldn 't want my sensor to alarm all day because of it ) . I 'll set my pump targets to 80 - 100 . Really tightening up my thresholds will allow me to get tighter " control " over my blood sugars and therefore reflect in my A1C . So that 's where I 'm at . Do you think my plan will work ? I 'm waiting to hear back on my next appointment date but I 'm anxious to see a new A1C result . According to reports I 've run using my pump and sensor data , I 'm under 7 . Let 's see if I can keep that up - or even make it better before my next check in ! xo I have been soul searching for days now trying to find the words to say to you . I 've come to the conclusion that I 'm just not good at saying goodbye , But life so rarely affords us this luxury ; to tell someone how much we care while knowing it very well could be the last time we say such words . So with that , I feel as if I must find something to say , if for no other reason then to take advantage of a situation no one ever wants to be in . You 've been " sick " since we met , but it 's never slowed you down or taken the smile from your face . You 've continued to live life much as I wish I would be able to in your position , but I 'm not sure I could find the strength and courage you have . You 've faced this fight with optimism , love and patience and it 's been inspiring to so very many people . I can 't imagine how hard it is knowing you 're leaving your family - and how hard it is for them to be losing you . But as a family it 's evident how truly blessed you are to have one another . To see your little girl grow up into an amazing young woman who is following in your footsteps as a volunteer firefighter clearly makes you so incredibly proud . Your son is kind and talented ( he must get that from Katrina ? ) and I know he will step up and care for his mother and sister in your absence and grow into an incredible man . And the only woman with a heart big enough to be proud of those two kids for BOTH of you is Katrina . You guys sure hit the lottery when you found each other . It 's inspiring to see how much you love each other . Thank you John . For everyone that you have touched , for everyone that you have taught and for everyone that has bore witness to the strength of your character and the unending bounds of your love . I wish you peace on your journey and I am sending healing , caring thoughts to Katrina , Meghan & Liam as they carry on through life without your physical presence . I have no doubt you will live in their hearts and minds , as well as countless others , forever . John Meyers is a local volunteer firNewer Entries »
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.