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t3_2dy1fs | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Girlfriend [19 F] together for 8 months, and she has attachment issues..? | She is very timid and self conscious as of late, doesn't like spending much time with any of her friends and has become a house hermit after finding a decent paying job, all her effort goes to that and she is left very drained...
she has admitted depression as some days she gets very down, and also admits to have attachment problems, showing emotion and says she was raised not to let anyone in or tell anyone stuff, she holds a lot back and I just want her to feel comfortable.
Does anyone have knowledge on a person like this? Is it temporary, a part of growing up and maturing for some women? I Don't want to give up, so I'm looking for some peace of Mind. | Is it possible for a 19yo woman who doesn't like sharing feelings to feel comfortable doing so the longer the relationship grows? |
t3_16j0d2 | relationships | 18M, need advice on an ex [17F] turned FWB. This is my first relationship. (xpost from /r/relationship_advice) | Several months ago, my girlfriend and I of a year broke up because she left for a semester to study in a different state. The breakup was fairly amicable, but we grew more distant as time went by and did things we both now regret.
Since she got back, she has said repeatedly she only wants to be friends, although she knows I really want to get back together with her. We've been hanging out and talking a LOT, and in the last two weekends, we've hooked up twice while both rather drunk.
Yesterday we spent the night at a mutual friend's house and one thing led to another, and we had (oral) sex. This morning she admitted that earlier that night she had blown another guy, and then proceeded to get back with me.
While she is perfectly entitled to do what she wants, I don't understand where she wants our relationship to go. Last week we were "just friends" who happened to share a drunken kiss. Now she's saying she wants to keep hooking up with me, but doesn't want it to be a "thing."
She apologized for not telling me she had hooked up with another guy earlier in the night, but I can't help feeling that I'm being used– she vents her problems to me a lot, and we get together when she feels like it, but as soon as another guy catches her fancy I'm totally forgotten as she flirts with him.
I don't want to be her second choice in perpetuity, and I'm wondering if I should continue seeing her and figuring out our relationship as we go along, or if I should cut off contact, and accept the fact that we can't be friends (with or without benefits) because I'm still very much attached to her. | I don't know if a friends-with-benefits relationship with my ex is healthy when what I really want is for her to be my girlfriend again. |
t3_kviej | AskReddit | Has anyone experienced sleep paralysis to this degree before? | To elaborate, I went to bed at 6 this morning. This isn't the first time I've experienced sleep paralysis, the first time being about four years ago when I napped on a lazyboy rocking chair. Though I notice there's a higher chance of me experiencing it when I nap often, that hasn't been the case for several months until now. I accidentally fell asleep from 6pm-10pm yesterday and decided to stay up and write a paper, which resulted in me going to bed at 6 this morning. Then I experienced the trippiest episode(s) ever- after snapping out of a couple blips, I switched sleeping positions and fell asleep. From there I can't distinguish whether I was really asleep and dreaming or waking up in between each episode, but I began hallucinating sounds and visions of people talking and creeping into my room; I would wake up and try to wake up my boyfriend and tell him what was happening to me, struggling to get up and open my mouth and get sound to come out and all that fun stuff, only to realize that I was still asleep. I had a few mini episodes before this series of hallucinations, but I can't remember what they are. | I repeatedly experienced an episode where I would hallucinate, 'wake up' and try to let my boyfriend know I was terrified, only to realize I was still asleep. This happened at least five times, I lost count. |
t3_2t50hj | relationship_advice | [18/M] scared of commitment to [19/F] | So I [18/M] have been dating my [19/F] girlfriend for nearly two years now. We started dating junior year of highschool, but now we have transitioned into college. Her and I ended up applying and got accepted into the same school (it wasn't really planned), so we didn't decide to break up once college started like most people do. She has told me many times that she thinks that I'm absolutely "the one" for her. She's very committed. I on the other hand feel like I'm not ready for this kind of lifelong commitment yet, even though I do love her very much. I love her becuase of the level of commitment and support I get is ridiculous. She would definitely make her a great life partner, but I can't help to feel that someday I might regret not experiencing anything else. Neither of us have had much relationship experience before this and there are all kinds of temptations in college that I've experienced going out to parties and whatnot with friends. I've tried to talk to her about this in person and the tears start flowing from both of us and I can't bring myself to end things with her. When I'm with her my love for her over rides my longing to single and on my own, but the opposite is true when I'm not with her. So what should I do? Is this feeling of wanting to be single and experience college going to pass, or is it only going to eventually get worse? Is there any easier way to ending things? Any advice would be appreciated. | My girlfriend is very committed. We are in college together and I'm having doubts about my commitment to her as we are both very young and inexperienced. |
t3_23m8t2 | relationships | Me [20/F] with my BF [21 M] of 3 years had a huge fight and he grabbed the steering wheel of my car. | So we had this huge fight because we were at this party and I was meant to leave early and not drink because I was working the next day. The party was fun so I decided I would drive home to pack an overnight bag, so that I could go to the party and have a few drinks and stay in my boyfriends house so that I did not have to have my car there.
We got in this huge fight because some things got lost in translation. He also implied that I don't trust him on his own at parties. (This may be because I am a little insecure, as a result of every past boyfriend I've had cheating on me) However, 3 years in a relationship without cheating would prove that I shouldn't be insecure, so why does he think I am suspicious?
He ended up saying that he would have preferred if I wouldn't stay in his house, because I was working at 10am the next morning and he wanted to stay quiet late at the party.
I asked him was he choosing the party over me and he said the party.
When I clarified that I would have a few drinks then he was happy to come to an agreement to leave a bit earlier so that I could get a good sleep.
We were driving to my house and a fight erupted, insults were thrown, voices were loud and tears were cried (wailed!)
We were driving back to his house before the party so that I could leave my things and my car at his house, and we would get a lift to the party.
After the fight was had, I said I was going to drop him to the party and just go home. He started shouting saying that he didn't want the journey to be a wasted one, and to come to the party.
The road went straight on to the party, or right to his house.
His voice was louder than i have EVER heard.
He grabbed my steering wheel and pushed me onto the road towards his house
We have had fights before, but I'm not sure if it's ok that he grabbed my steering wheel.
I'm very upset over it. | Boyfriend accused me of not trusting him on his own at a party, I said I would leave him at it and he grabbed my steering wheel. |
t3_1sk373 | relationships | Me [24 M] with my ex GF [23 F] of 19 months, planned trip incl plane tickets, she doesn't want me along | Hi Guys,
my ex and I were going out for about a year and a half. A lot of it was long distance, but we managed to see each other every two weeks, and had lots of time together during holidays. This semester shes doing a semester abroad in my city, and we kind of moved together into her parents' place, but I still had my place. Her parents don't live there, but it is nice. Two weeks ago she breaks up with me out of the blue. She doesn't want a relationship right now, she's not in that kind of place.
Whatever, I've philosophised about that a lot, but I have a more concrete question.
We planned a new years trip to one of her friends' place. I hosted the last new years party for her friends, and so, of course, I'm invited this year. We bought tickets together. She still owes me the money for her tickets, so we're meeting on friday so I can receive it. She is, as it turns out, adamantly against me going along, although she wants to remain friends and stay in contact, still loves me and blabla.
Yesterday I told her I thought it fair if she at least reimbursed me half the plane ticket cost, since they're non refundable, non transferrable, and she's disallowing me to go. I haven't talked to the hosting friend yet. She thinks this "absurd", that I would even ask.
I have a couple of days time. Am I wrong in wanting her to reimburse me? I have all the emotional pain, and now I'm also the idiot who has to cover the costs? I want to go, I'm sure I can handle it. She has plenty of money, so it's definitely not that. | She broke up with me, doesn't want me along on the trip we planned to her friends. She thinks it's ridiculous that she reimburses me for my flight. She has money. |
t3_1kwfbn | relationship_advice | Relationship decisions while grieving | Hi everyone,
My father, to whom I was very close, passed away from brain cancer on March 30th of this year. I'm having a tough time in my marriage right now due to a dead bedroom situation (has been for 3 1/2 years). The advice I've been given is that I should not make any major life decisions for at least 6 months to a year. What do you guys think? Other background info: I've tried counseling on my own before and I'm thinking of asking my SO to try marriage counseling. I'm also going to ask him again to get his testosterone checked. I'm on an anti-depressant and my libido has decreased quite a bit (thankfully for my SO), but I still want sex more than he does. | mostly sexless relationship for 3+ yrs, grieving my dad's death. How long should I wait before I make a decision regarding divorce? |
t3_33539b | legaladvice | Need Legal Advice M(18) Possessing Alcohol and a Fake ID | Thanks for taking time to read this. I was at my University's Festival yesterday and some shit went down..
Basically me and my buddies were just enjoying the music when two under-covers came up to us demanding our ID's. I've never been arrested or charged with anything before so I didn't argue and cooperated.
I was given two pieces of paper for my Court Summons.
My first one is for Possessing alcohol in a can and having a white plastic cup containing some.
The second paper is for possessing a Pennsylvania drivers license that is not mine. It is a fake ID given to me by a friend. Also I should note, I did not give the officer this ID, nor did he ask for it. He was going through my wallet looking for my ID which I gave him permission to do. Then he started pulling out my credit cards and behind one of them was the fake ID.
I am concerned that I will not be able to get my Fake ID charge expunged. I've never been arrested or got in trouble with the Law before.
What is the likely outcome of this situation? What should I do in court? Is there any chance at all that both will remain off of my record.
Also, the state I live in is OHIO. | Two misdemeanors of the first degree. One possession of alcohol and the other for possession of a drivers license that is not mine. Can I get both charges expunged? |
t3_4nguvh | Advice | Airline won't refund the bag they lost; help? | Unfortunately, a bag of mine was lost on a flight returning to college after winter break back in January. About 90% of the clothing I owned was in the bag, since I only leave a few things in my room at home and my room at college when I'm not there. They (Alaska Airlines) were never able to find it, so I had to file a claim for what was in the bag and how much it was worth. This is where things get messy.
I filed a claim and sent it to their office, only to never hear from them again. Being wrapped up in school and my studies, I didn't realize how much time has passed until I came home in May and noticed I still hadn't heard anything from them.
I called them and was told they never received my claim, and I would have to send them another one, which I did, but this time with a certified mail receipt so I would know if/when it was delivered. (It was.)
A few weeks pass, and I receive a check for $25 dollars and a travel voucher, even though I had roughly $2,500 dollars worth of clothing and belongings in the bag. The reason they chose not to reimburse me is because I submitted my claim "too late" despite the first claim never getting to them, even though it was submitted on time. I tried to call again to explain why I thought they had made the wrong decision, but was told they couldn't help me.
I don't mean to sound entitled, but I feel as if I'm being wronged. They lost my bag and now they don't want to work with me to find a solution. Is there anything I can do? I can't help but feel that this is just a method to deter me from continuing to bother them..
Thank you for taking time to help! | Alaska Airlines lost my bag in January, I had to submit two claims (in February and May) and now they won't pay me back because I'm "late." |
t3_122gtu | relationships | Started seeing a girl [21] and all of a sudden its gone [m21] | I met a girl in one of my classes, and she had everything: she was nerdy, loved the outdoors, was witty, and was quite good looking. We hit it off for the first couple of classes (ours met once a week), and had quite a bit of time to talk during the course of class, as it was an outdoors one. We started to hang out on our own one night when class was canceled, and things escalated quickly (3 weeks ago). We started seeing each other every day, and did normal couple stuff - hikes, lunches, drinking, sex, etc. We'd even kiss goodbye in public.
Fast forward to last week. Her tone started to change in text messages, and I started to feel like I was bothering her just to ask if she wanted to grab a bite to eat. We grabbed lunch a few times, but then I went away for a weekend trip, and didn't get to see her until 2 days ago. We met in our shared class as usual, but our interaction seemed a bit forced, and a bit awkward.
Did we(or just I) jump into things too quickly? Should I just relax, and take it easy? I feel like if I don't do something, we'll never get to the point where we could have something between the two of us. Maybe it just isn't meant to be, but she is awesome, and I'd hate to lose her over something stupid. Also, I feel kind of bad posting this here, reading about everyone else's long relationship issues, but I'd just like some advice. | Jumped into something w/ a girl from class, it seemed to be going well but then it just disappeared. Not sure how to act. |
t3_3p4sx2 | Advice | Want to ask someone out, but terrified of rejection | So, a little background information. I'm in my third year of university (UK), haven't ever been in a proper relationship. I have a few anxiety/depression issues, I sometimes get anxiety attacks and depression pangs during the day that affect my quality of living a bit but I've learnt to cope with them by now. Last year was a tricky one for me, many bad things happened at once including someone I know killing themselves and one of my relatives being diagnosed with terminal cancer in short succession. Life seemed extremely bleak and I dropped from ~65-48kg in under a year.
After I went home my family and friends helped so much, but I knew the only way to return to the way I was before was to help myself. I took up exercise and fell in love with it very quickly, getting back to 63kg in just four months, things were looking so good.
When I got back to university I decided to take up sport to branch out with my fitness and try to make new friends. They held a weekly social event which is where I met this girl. We were talking a lot of the evening and by the end I felt as if I was falling for her.
There's been another social since and we talked a lot then too. I'd like to ask her out but my anxiety makes me panic even thinking about asking her. I'm not sure how to act, or if I should, or when I should. I'm absolutely terrified of rejection or losing her because I'm too forwards, but I feel as if our relationship might stagnate if I don't up the ante. | had some personal issues, resolved them by getting into sport where met a girl that made me happy but now I'm not sure how to proceed from there |
t3_2x68jd | relationships | Me [28m] with my partner [28f] 8 years, suffers numerous health problems and highly dependant on me, feeling burnt out | I'll try and keep this short and concise.
I've been with my partner for about seven years. Since about six months into the relationship she steadily developed numerous physical and emotional issues that cripple her ability to take care of herself, work, or easily preform numerous basic self care activities like grocery shopping or dishes. She has arthritis, ptsd, depression, and a seemingly permanent leg injury from college. Because I really care about her I've spent a lot of time over the course of our relationship trying to help and take care of her, driving her to doctors appointments, taking her grocery shopping, cleaning her apartment, paying for anything we do etc. However since the new year I've just been feeling more and more burnt out by all this.
It makes me feel awful for being just so tired of doing all this stuff, but I notice my mood getting worse and worse when I go over to her place and its just a total mess because it hurts for her to clean, or having to spend our entire night driving around to get her errands done because she can't do them herself. I try to do other things outside of the house with her but her errands are always top priory and her leaving the house to do anything requires a lot of time for her to sort out her various medications.
I just feel like I'm with a dependant who I take care of and not a partner who gives and takes in our relationship. I hate feeling that way because I know she's doesn't want to be like this (who would?) but after so long of just giving and giving without any sign of things getting better I'm just feeling more and more burnt out
I don't know how to bring this up to her because in the past when I've tried to ease back on how much help I give her she breaks down because she has nobody else to help her and then I just cave and do it. Fuck... If this just makes me out to be a selfish asshole then please tell me, or help me figure out how to give myself more patience and energy back to help | Partner highly dependant on me for a lot, feeling burnt out after 8 years, feeling bad and selfish and don't know what to do |
t3_4lib3c | askwomenadvice | My shy neighbour (30'sF) heard us having sex, I think. Now she's flirting with me(36M). | Last night my wife and I had a few drinks and went to bed. We made love and due to the moderate inebriation lowering inhibitions she was really quite noisy and had a lot of fun. It's humid here and we had the windows open. After we were finished I heard my female neighbour cough and my wife and I realised if we heard her cough she heard us having sex. Fast forward to this morning.
I was out in the back garden cutting up some wood for our fire pit when my neighbour came over to the fence to talk to me. Normally she is very shy or at least not very friendly and in the last year has barely said hello to me. Today she decided to talk to me and dropped a hint saying "It was very warm last night wasn't it? I had to sleep with my bedroom windows open for the first time this year." "I have trouble sleeping when it gets so warm." I felt a little embarrassed realising she had heard us but she was really relaxed unlike her usual self and asked me if I could come over tomorrow in my lunch break and help her move her bed into the front bedroom as she's doing some decorating! Why is she talking about beds and being hot?
Why is she acting so "forward" with me all of a sudden? I have no interest whatsoever in doing anything more than engage in polite small talk with her over the fence but surely one incidence of her hearing my wife having fun can't have made her act this way?
It's making me a little nervous. Why is she acting like this? It's no big deal but it is unusual given her normally cold nature. | ! My female neighbour is flirting with me after she must have heard my wife being pleasured because the windows were open. |
t3_52eec1 | cats | Need advice: I'm moving and will only have access to one bedroom for myself and my two boys. | I currently live in a spacious two bedroom apartment that the cats love! However, my situation is changing and I will be 'movng back home' so to speak. I will be moving into the parents house and have a bedroom for myself and cats. I will spend much of my free time in the room, so they won't be without attention. This house is a decent sized house, but already houses three kitties and two dogs, so there is no way they can roam free. At least not immediately.
I plan to make this a really fun space for the cats. I'll have a loft bed, and I want to put a few shelves on the walls, just for the cats! As well as feeding area, litter box, and plenty of scratchers.
My hope is that this situation is as temporary as possible, but I may be here a while. I have no timeframe, really. They are adult cats, and I cannot give them to a shelter to sit in a little cage while statistically no one adopts them(I don't actually know the statistics... But they're 7 and 10 so I can imagine). I don't know any friends willing to take them on, and I refuse to give them to a total stranger.
What would be some suggestions to make this glorified cage extra nice for these guys? What are some strategies to get them integrated with the resident pets? Is that even a good idea to do?
Thanks everyone! | I need to have my cats confined to one room, but I will be living in it too. I need advice and suggestions to make it the best kitty haven possible! |
t3_1h57re | relationship_advice | [M/18] feel like I've been played like a fool by a girl I really liked. [f/17] Any advice | So, to cut it down a bit, I met this girl a while ago, and we really clicked. She was pretty and single, and we had a good bit in common. We talked for ages on Facebook (mainly because we lived a fair bit away from eachother, not a huge distance, but enough) and we've met up a good few times in person. I've really liked her for a while, and I asked her out, but she declined. We remained friends, and kept on chatting.
Yesterday, she told be she was going out with someone she'd only met a few months ago for about a week, (we've known eachother for nearly a year) and to make it worse, a friend of mine told her to keep it hidden, and to not tell me. They actually persuaded her to tell me, because it seems like she had no intentions to tell me any time soom.
I'm really conflicted and mad! What should I do? Have I just completely been played, or what's happening. Really need some advice. | Girl I really liked knew I liked her, but chose to go out with someone she'd only just met. Really conflicted and confused. |
t3_2uy5ja | relationships | My [F21] boyfriend [M24] of ~2 years wants to buy a house in an area I don't want to live in. | My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 10 months. We've lived together almost the entire time and the relationship is good overall. I feel like we have a unique connection because we went through similar difficulties in our childhoods and young adult lives.
I have lived within a 30 mile radius of Charlotte, NC my entire life. My boyfriend is talking about buying a house in the town we live in. His young son lives in VA and he doesn't want to be too far away, and he likes the schools here which is important because he plans on getting custody after finishing school.
The only problem is I've lived in this area my entire life. I don't want to live here for the rest of my life. I don't know if I should tell my boyfriend this because I don't want to break up right at this moment, but I don't know if it will work out in the future. If I stay, I may end up resenting him. If I leave, I may not find anyone else that I love like him again. | My boyfriend wants to settle down in an area I've lived in my entire life and I want to see more of the world. |
t3_sz9fm | AskReddit | Sometimes I hear/feel a crackle or pop in my nose that is followed the the smell of something good that is alien to anything else I've ever smelled. | I don't know if anyone else has experienced this before, but sometimes there is like a little crackle or a pop in my nose when I breathe in. It used to do it a lot more when I was young. (5-12) Now it's once a quarter to half a year. I want to say it smells like metal, but it's not metallic smelling (like a blood from a nosebleed.) It smells completely alien to anything I've ever smelled. It smells good as well. I breathe in as much as I can when this happens because it doesn't last very long. (2-3 seconds) I've always wondered what it was or if anyone else has experienced this. | my nose makes a crackling feeling and then I smell something good that is completely alien to anything else I've ever smelled. |
t3_weaml | relationships | Dear Reddit, what are the signs that a guy considers you "gf material" and not a simple hookup? | So, I recently met this guy I have pretty incredible chemistry with. I'm 21 and he's 22, it's only been about 3 weeks (I KNOW, trust me)--I've always been a relationship type of person, which is why it's important to me whether we'll eventually date or not. We both admitted we liked each other, and conversation, spending time together, etc felt easy from the get-go. We've been hanging out about 3 times a week, and yes we're both college undergrads, both working this summer, and live about 30 minutes away from each other. Sometimes we do just hang out at his place, watch a movie, and mess around a bit (no sex, but other things) and other times, we'll go out and grab dinner, go for walks, watch a movie at the theater, go out to the club, etc. He did introduce me to his 2 best friends last week and we all hung out once, and he does initiate texting almost every day. I was really wondering though, because I tend to be the one that suggests that we hang out. I may be reading into this too much, but he did have to cancel a date we had planned yesterday for work, which I completely understand. He didn't really seem to make an effort at the time to reschedule though; he had told me last week he had Friday off, so I suggested Friday, but he said he was busy because he had lunch planned with a friend as well as a party to attend at night. Again, this might just be me over-thinking things and expecting too much, but I was a little disappointed to see he didn't really suggest another day or possibly ask if I want to be his date to the party...
My question is just this: what are signs that will tell me he's serious about a possible relationship as opposed to just a hookup? | Met guy, we like each other, was curious as to what signs guys give about considering you a dateable prospect or a hookup |
t3_198v3i | AskReddit | Trying to throw an epic graduation party for my class, can't find location - HELP | Hey Reddit, so this coming June I will be graduating from High School and I'm trying to throw a massive end of the year party. Problem is, I can't find anywhere to host it. Nobody I know (well or otherwise) is willing to put up their house for it (we're talking like a good 150-200 people at this thing hopefully) because they don't want to run the risk of blowing it up. Project X really put some ideas into peoples heads... Anyway, I'm in Seattle Washington (please don't rape me) and it would be great if you all could help me find a suitable location where this could happen.
Alcohol and weed (even though its legal here now, for 21+ I know but still) will be involved, there's really no way around it with how my class operates. I'm just looking for a place we could rent for like 3 days (set up, party, clean up) that's reasonably priced, and that people wont care about if shit goes down (neighbors I mean). Preferably no more than an hour outside of the city, but I am willing to be flexible, just nothing totally out of reason.
If this is actually as impossible as I'm finding it, can you at least help me get close? Or give advice on how to make this work?
Thanks in advance Reddit, | 18, graduating from HS, want to throw party, need a good location, alcohol/weed involved, in Seattle WA, USA. |
t3_2c7me4 | relationships | I [19/F] had incestuous relations with my sister [24/F] when we were very young, can't seem to get over it. | This is kind of hard to talk about and explain, I don't want to get into much detail. I'm being truthful in what I say and I'm just looking for guidance.
When I was about 7 years old, my sister (12 at the time) for some reason introduced me to the concept of masturbation. I do not want to get into much detail about what happened because it really is disgusting and hurts to think about but after it happened my sister looked over to me and said "Let's not talk about this ever again."
At the time I didn't understand what we did was really wrong, but based on her reaction I felt incredibly guilty. I feel kind of victimized here and I have for 12 years. I haven't been able to tell anyone what happened to me until I confessed it to my current significant other who was really understanding. My sister and I never talked about it ever again and sometimes I wonder if she thinks about it or if she's completely forgotten it. I'd never dare to bring it up again unless I was going to kill myself shortly after, it's just not an option.
Is there some sort of personal closure I can find to this? My relationship with my sister is fine I guess, she's kind of daft and I can't say that I love her as a sister. I could easily eject her from my life and sometimes feel like doing so because I just want to stop thinking about that terrible night where I was violated and introduced to something I shouldn't have discovered for a few more years. What can I do? | Sister and I had a weird night where she showed me how to masturbate and other things. 12 years later I can't let go of it and can never bring it up with her. Looking for closure of some sort. |
t3_3wim7i | relationship_advice | Friends wife tried to sleep with me need advice | My friend went to a different city with his daughter for a gymnastics thing over the weekend. I'm very good friends with there whole family.
I'll try and keep this short I got a call at about 130am from my friends wife asking if I could come over. I asked why and if your husband is okay with it sure. A couple minutes later I got a message from my friend saying she's having some sort of separation anxiety and it's okay with him if I head over there to see if she's okay. When I get over there I can see that she's clearly been drinking but don't think anything of it I also start to drink because alchohol warms the soul. There was some harmless flirting in the beginning but I didn't see anthing of it. She then wanted to start dancing I laughed I don't dance I make white people look black. The. Things got very uncomfortable for me she removed her shirt and kept trying to get me to dance and fell her up. I told no half a dozen times. Told her you know this wrong your husband blah the usual stuff. She then said would you leave if I said I want you to fuck me. Saying I love you repeatedly After about 30 mins of trying to explain to her that everything that she is doing is wrong reminding her she loves her husband she finally gave up and passed out. I'm currently in the living room waiting until I sober up to drive. I would have left right away but I had a fair amount of alcohol in me.
Should I tell me friend what happened. I feel incredibly guilty if I don't but I also don't want to ruin a marriage and I would feel terrible for there child. I honestly don't know what to do.
Also should I wait until she wakes up and talk to her about it when she's sober or should I just go home as fast as possible. | Friends wife tried to sleep with me saying I love you I said no nothing happened at all should I tell my friend they have a kid I feel guilt as hell even though I don't think I did anything wrong |
t3_3s66xs | tifu | TIFU by losing weight... | Ive been on a diet and its been going pretty well, and needed a belt because my work trousers kept falling down. Got a belt a few days ago and today i was getting a box off a high shelf in work and then the ladder tips over and i fall and kick the ladder and my back scrapes along the shelf but my belt gets stuck.... then im hanging on the shelf... by my belt... quite high up... and the lader is lying on the floor, i try to undoo my belt but its too tight and im in agony, feel like by blood is being cut off. Im up there for about twenty minutes trying to get free and orders are piling up on my headset and i can hear the phone ringing because people are wondering whats going on. Then i hear the door open and hear someone looking for me and i say in a sheepish voice "..... im over here...." and its my boss and she just laughs in my face and gets the ladder and helps me down lol. My face was soo red from embarrassment.... | bought a belt, fell and got caught on a shelf in work and was hanging there for twenty minutes until my boss found me... |
t3_1gdgnu | Advice | Trying to get my working visa, Need legal advice. | I have everything set up to go teach for a private school in South Korea. In order to get the working visa (E2 Visa) you have to submit a FBI Criminal Background Check and I have a little blemish on my record. During my stupid college days I was arrested for a DUI (December 2010) BUT I got a great lawyer, went to lots of classes, and in the end got it reduced to a reckless driving. I have heard mixed opinions and have done EXTENSIVE research on the internet about this and I cannot find an answer.
I have already signed the contract to work for the school and I feel that this reckless driving shouldn't affect me getting the visa for teaching.
Any advice is greatly appreciated! | Can I get my E2 Visa to teach English in Korea if I have a DUI that was reduced to reckless driving on my record? |
t3_4kt6m7 | relationships | I'm [27/F] having trouble coping with my boyfriend's [24/M] introvert needs | My boyfriend recently started a new job. He is working hard and it is taking a lot out of him. He is also socializing a ton. He gets two 1 hour breaks and he spends both of them talking with his coworkers the entire time. I used to hear from him throughout the day and talk with him during lunch. Now I don't hear from him until late in to the evening and I can maybe get in half an hour of talking to him before he tells me he's exhausted and needs to retreat again.
It's a difficult adjustment because for the past two years we would talk constantly throughout the day.
I am starting to feel like we are drifting apart and he no longer wants or needs me. His social energy is being spent on his new coworkers (I no longer even get a "good morning" or "have a good lunch" text).
I can't run on such minimal communication, especially after being spoiled by constant communication with him. When I told him I was having a hard time adjusting from going to constantly talking to barely talking at all, he just got annoyed.
How can I cope? Or are our needs too different for this to work out? | Introverted boyfriend has a new job that completely drains him. He can barely muster up half an hours worth of energy to talk to me. I'm feeling like garbage about it. |
t3_du1xk | AskReddit | Help, Freescore.com has been billing me for 6 months and I want my money back! | yes I know it sounds stupid and obvious but here's the story
I went to see what this was all about awhile back was filling out an application to membership when I thought "hey this sounds fishy, im outta here". I poured over every page that i clicked through and found no terms and conditions so I promptly closed out the window and carried on with my life.
well 6 months later I'm looking through my checking account and see a charge from Free Score. To date I recieved no email confirmation of an account, no phone calls, no mail nothing nadda zip. I spoke with customer service and they agreed to refund me ONE MONTH and filed a complaint about refunding the previous charges.
what more can I do to these limey fuckers to make sure I get my money back?
-yes I learned to avoid fishy schemes and check my accounts frequently because of this | apparently signed up for a freescore.com account, billed 180 bucks unknowingly and want my money back, need help. |
t3_2ccsxg | jobs | Career trajectory - please help (resume attached) | [Here is the resume \(image, when I submit the application it will be a PDF\)](
Hey guys,
Just curious what you guys think of the overlay. To address these initially, I personally like the picture as it adds a human touch and a professional headshot speaks well. The color really brings out the resume I think and give some variety to hiring managers who look at black and white resumes all day.
In a previous discussion, I'm still not very sold on the idea of writing a cover letter.
A recent friend of mine was able to leverage into a position that pays almost double (I'm assuming 60-70k~) with similar credentials so there is definitely hope for me. I'm making 40-45k or so. I do feel bummed out that I missed the investment banking/consulting/private equity train as I did not do much in college. I'm currently 23 turning 24 soon.
Do you guys have any ideas what career trajectories are out there that I can break in? I would like to make 70-100k+ plus and would like to do work within the finance realm (I know that's broad and non-specific).
Any thoughts on how pursuing a CFA or MBA will help my credentials? CFA seems affordable and is based very much so on merit - but may not necessarily guarantee a job. The MBA will provide networking opportunities and really be a door opener (then again I'm cheapish and networking/social skills are mediocre if not poor)
Thank you. | Resume critique, and general life/career advice in regards to what to do going forward (am 23 years old). |
t3_as7ag | AskReddit | Has someone said something that made you fear for the future of mankind? | I was sitting in my U.S. History class when we got on the topic of Scotland (I don't remember how), and our teacher noted that Sean Connery was born there. I immediately chimed in with a witty "Celebrity Jeopardy" reference, and was met with silence across the classroom, save one girl sitting behind me (she was the only other intelligent person in the room) who was laughing pretty hard, but trying to stay quiet. Our teacher chuckled as well, and bewilderment was on the face of most of my classmates. I looked around briefly and said "Oh come on, haven't you guys seen that on Saturday Night Live?" One of the girls in the class (not the smartest, and glowed an awkward orange color because of the over abundant tanning she partook in) said in the snottiest voice I believe I've ever heard:
*"I'm sorry, I don't watch the news."*
The girl who was laughing behind me, my teacher, and me all stopped laughing and just stared. Then the girl behind me and I erupted into even more laughter that resulted in tears. But honestly, the worst part was: *No one else realized what was going on.*
It was at this point that I lost hope in mankind. | I made a Saturday Night Live reference, snotty girl says "I'm sorry, I don't watch the news." No one understood why I laughed at her. |
t3_20adwg | relationship_advice | I [19m] need advice on how to approach situation with coworker [19f] | So a little background on what's going on here. I recently started working a new job at my college's library (2 or 3 weeks ago maybe), first day I meet my coworkers and I immediately notice one of them is very beautiful. So naturally I started to casually flirt with her and to my surprise she started to flirt back. After a couple weeks of getting to know her I realize that she's not just a pretty face and I find myself falling for her a little bit. I decided to try asking for her number and she gave it to me. But now here's the part that I fuck up habitually. So I really want to make things work with this girl. I've texted her a few times we've had a few conversations but she occasionally just stops texting me mid conversation. Right now we are on Spring Break, we've talked about hanging out when we get back but no definite plans. So basically, I need advice on where to go from here because I really want to get this girl but I'd also like to handle the situation with care since we are coworkers and if things don't work out it would be weird as hell. | I find myself falling for one of my coworkers, I really want it to work out since I'm really into her, but I don't want things to be awkward at work if things don't work out. What do I do? |
t3_c4tfd | AskReddit | My girlfriends parents would decapitate her!...ideas please... | So here's my situation, I'm just looking for some advice on the whole thing.
So my girlfriend and I, who was just my best friend up until a few months ago, have an issue. Her parents would pretty much decapitate her if they found out she had a boyfriend. We live in the same city; both with our parents, my parents do know about her but do not know her parents don't know. She's really great and neither of us is willing to give anything up because of the risk. Lately though her parents have been acting a little weird around her. Talking about how she doesn't respect them, how she's never with them, and how they think she lies to them (maybe she does that, but only to be with me.) Her parents were brought up in India in a completely different way then she is. They don't seem to be able to make the connection that it's normal here. I need to know how I can help my girlfriend get through this. They have made it clear that she can't begin to date for at least 4 years… | My girlfriend's parents are suspicious she has a boyfriend they CANNOT KNOW, how can I help her get through this and see her without them knowing? |
t3_4ei9yd | relationships | My [24 F] husband [24 M] of three years has a major crush on a co-worker of ours | My husband and I share a workplace and a car. We work opposite shifts and one of us works while the other one watches our daughter. This one girl was hired two months ago and became quick friends with my husband. They work nights together and they are getting close.
I'm a bad person and looked through his phone and Facebook (I know, we have just had issues in the past and I am not about to get screwed over again.)
So he has a really big crush on this girl, and now all of our co-workers know it too. On our one night off to hang out, his friends came over and they drove off. They went to the store to go flirt with her.
In his defense, he is talking on Facebook (in private messages to his friends which he doesn't know I have seen) about how conflicted he is and they haven't done anything yet. He is really torn up about it.
Now I have to go into work where I either have to (a) over-react and be that bitchy jealous wife or (b) have everyone think I am a moron who can't hang onto her husband. | My husband has a crush on a co-worker of ours and is possibly emotionally cheating (is that a thing?). And I snooped on his Facebook and that is how I know. Am I overreacting? |
t3_3kmmr8 | relationships | Me (22)and boyfriend (23) of 5 years are going long distance for a while and just need some advice from people who have been in that situation and survived? | Hi /relationships
10 weeks from now I will be moving cities, not too far about 3 hours away, I know thats not very long but, boyfriend and I are very close and we are going from seeing each other every day to once every 2-3 weeks.
This is because he works all through the week and plays sport on weekends so, finding time to see each other is going to be hard..
I don't know how long I'd be gone for, I am plan on living in new city indefinitely and he is still not sure if he wants to move here one day or a bit closer (as he is very attached to his family and doesn't want to leave)
I didn't think LDR work well as from stories I've read here before, he believes we can work through it, I on the other hand will have a tough time.
I would love some advice from anyone that has been in this situation before, both good and bad outcomes.
Thank you so much | Boyfriend and I will be living a few hours apart from one another for a while, need some advice/tips on suriving a long distance relationship |
t3_4h1gq5 | relationships | Me [22 F] with breast deformities and wanting to be intimate with guy I am dating. How/when to tell him? | Regular poster on here but due to the sensitive nature of this topic I have created a throwaway.
Background: I had an infection in both breasts about a year ago and I have some deformities as a result of the infection. I had to have multiple debridement surgeries to get rid of the infection. I am now left with scars and deformed "nipples". I wouldn't even call them nipples since they are tattooed on me and not real nipples (they are cherry red and the color has no started to "fade" yet).
I have yet to have sex or be intimate with a man since this has happened. I have now found a man that I am interested in having sex with but I do not know how to bring this up. We have been on multiple dates and I feel like sex is the next logical step.
Question: How do I bring this up? Part of me just wants to keep a bra on the whole time and never really explain why I don't feel comfortable taking it off but I also feel like that isn't sustainable because if it were to last then he would EVENTUALLY see my boobs. I am torn as to how to bring this up, what exactly do I say? I am used to seeing them so it is not a shock to me but I don't know how he will feel about the way they look. I guess you could say I am self conscious about it. He always tells me how I am "so perfect" - I am worried this will effect the way he looks at me. I am worried I won't be perfect in his eyes anymore. | Breast deformities and I want to have sex with man I am dating. How/when to bring it up? |
t3_26br9z | personalfinance | Help me decide what to do with a large influx of money. | I recently acquired a (relatively) large sum of money from a court settlement (just under $60,000). My wife and I follow the principles in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace course, and have been working on becoming debt free for about 2 years now. Before this settlement, we had paid off about $39,000 in debt and had about $6,500 in debt remaining.
Details: If it helps, we are a single-income family (my wife is a stay-at-home mom). I make about $54,000/year. We currently have one child, but my wife is due with our second in about 3 weeks.
Our first priority with the $57k with be to finish becoming debt free, bringing the total balance down to around $50,000.
Next we will set up our 3-6 month emergency fund ($10k), leaving about $40,000.
Next we would like to set aside enough money to cash flow the remainder of my education expenses ($11k). I have completed 6 hours of the required 36 hours for my MBA, but have been taking only the bare minimum classes to stay enrolled while we became debt free. That leaves us $29,000.
Next we would like to allocate about $4,000 to some areas that we have neglected while becoming debt free (some new furniture, some minor vehicle repairs, etc.), leaving us with about $25,000.
**Here is where the question comes in...**
We would like to save a $30,000 downpayment for a house (20% of 150,000). At the same time, we have been a single vehicle family for the past few years and wouldn't mind adding a second vehicle for convenience sake.
Our options as we see them are:
Devote about $10k to a second vehicle, leaving us with half of our downpayment ($15k), which means we will have to save for quite a while until we have our downpayment fully funded.
OR
Put the remaining $25k towards a downpayment, continue to be a single-vehicle family, and be in a good position to buy a house within 6-12 months. | With the last $25,000 of a lump sum we have acquired, should we buy a second vehicle and save some for downpayment or put entire $25k towards our downpayment?* |
t3_5279t1 | relationship_advice | I [22F] had a discussion with my SO [21M] and made force him to answer some questions about him. | I think he wont talk with me again.
I made force him to tell me things about him self with another girl.
We use to constantly argue about me trying to know about it and he not responding.
We are in a relationship for about 4 years. Our relationship is like a open relationship, because he believes thats the only way. He believes that everyone should be free to do whatever wants to do, even go out with another person.
I im very insecurity about it. I am afraid to be in a open relationship.
Well, that i know, he just was with one another girl since we are together. And in that time i was not prepared to deal with it. Since then we never talked a lot about it, just sometimes, when i ask something (like if they saw each other more times) and he refuses to answer me (he tells that he dont want to encourage me to be more jealous) But im. So i constantly ask him something about and that always take us to a argue.
So today i made force him to answer my questions. I made give him a ultimate or something.
I really believe that if i knew that things I will be more calm and more chill. But i could have created a big problem between us. :/
Im really sad
And sorry about my english... Isnt my first language! | i think i crossed a line with my SO forcing him to answer some questions about him with another girl and dont know what to do now. |
t3_15yhae | pettyrevenge | "It's OK ladies, this round is on me!" | A couple of years back myself and a couple of friends were enjoying some late night weekend drinking. As usual, the bar was packed and I was still waiting for drinks after 40 minutes or so. I am not a patient person. I saw many people come and go from the bar yet I was still to be served. When I finally secured a place at the bar, about to hail the bar steward, only to notice a sharp, digging pain in my left side. I look, a young girl, around 18 yo was stood there, I heard her friend tell her to 'dig her elbows deeper'. Then she somehow managed to get in front of me to the bar, block my path and allow her pal access. I had waited too long for this to happen and not yet being drunk I quickly thought of a plan.
"It's OK ladies, allow me. This rounds on me. What would you like?"
They requested their order, though I never bothered to listen to it. They then freed up some space for me to get to the bar. I ordered my drink and nothing more. I then proceeded to explain to the barman how I had heard these girls talking about school and probably weren't old enough for drinking. I turned around to see them casting me some really evil looks as I left the bar with only my drink. They lost their place, had to wait some more time only to be refused drinks as they failed to produce ID. | Girl elbows me out of the way in a bar queue, I offer to buy drinks and instead buy only my own, alert the bartender to possible under-age drinking. Feel like a boss all night. |
t3_4zg0i5 | relationships | My gf (24F) is deep into crazy and I'm (m26) not sure I have the strength to leave. | Original post:
It's worse, and I want to leave but I just don't know if I can do it. I still love her but these wacky ideas are just too hard to live with.
Last week we sat in the car and basically told me how I NEEDED to be more into the discussion on the illuminati. How everything she is saying is 100% true. How I need to be the spiritual leader in the family and that I'm not doing that at all. How I need to be more Christian. How I need to do more research. My anxiety is through the roof whenever that stuff gets brought up. I don't even bother to argue about it, it's hopeless.
I am miserable but I am also afraid of being alone. My parents had a horrid relationship. Dad cheated on mom multiple times. Not the best household to grow up in. My mom tells me that I should get out of it and not repeat her mistakes. I guess this kind of relationship is all I've really known.
My GF has been watching the television show "Stranger Things" and it has catapulted her beliefs. She thinks the things going on in that show are actually a reality. Things like CERN and something called MK Ultra.
Today she was looking over my shoulder to see who I was texting... (work) I later discovered she's been in contact with a guy who is "just friends" for the last month (she did tell me about him). But I just couldn't keep my composure. I told her that the relationship is hypocritical how she communicates with these men and I don't care but if I talk to other women, be it work or friends, there are lots of questions and negativity. I was furious. Told her I'm sick of the double standards.
I told her what I thought about it. How it was unfair and that I am not ok with it. She basically hung up on me.
So here I am... Mad.
She has texted me a lot (I have not responded)
She has called 11 times in the past 3 hours (I have not answered) | GF is a hypocrite and into crazy conspiracy theories, how can I overcome my fear of being alone and end this toxic relationship. |
t3_2n1pct | tifu | TIFU by smoking legal marijuana, losing cognitive function and receiving 100 mosquito bites. | To begin, this all occurred in August during a cross country road trip with my buddy and his girlfriend. After a couple weeks of driving we found ourselves in the great state of Colorado near the city of Durango. We met with a kind friend who bought us breakfast and offered to take us to the local hot springs. Our host warned us that the spring was R-rated, meaning clothing was optional and smoking was allowed. We arrived at the spring and decide to keep our clothes on, but plan on returning that evening to get naked and tipsy. Fast forward to that evening at our campground. I drank approx. 6.0 oz. of vodka (I've always been very precise when drinking spirits because of a few rough experiences) then my buddy drives us to the local dispensary. I hate smoking and have almost always had negative effects after hitting a joint, but I really wanted to see a dispensary. Unfortunately, by the time we left with the joints the alcohol had set in and I became game for anything. We arrived at the springs, stripped down, and headed out to the smoker pool. We smoked the joints and I almost immediately began to feel the psychological effect. Moments later I was overcome with the feeling that life was futile and I was going to die. Most likely due to the heat of the pool intensifying the effects of THC and alcohol. I decided lying down in the soft grass would calm my increasing anxiety. I do so and completely fall asleep. Over the next hour I occasionally awake to the sounds of kids laughing, but I was way too out of it to have any idea what was going on. Later my friends told me the front desk was giving tours to families and my incapacitated, nude body was most likely costing them business. To make matters worse a swarm of mosquitoes was having a feast on my naked back, buttocks, and legs. I finally woke up to the sensation of water dripping off my body. To my horror I realize the sensation was mosquitoes. I get up make a fool of myself in front of my friends and another group in the pool then they take me back to my tent. | Got high, went to hot springs, got naked, passed out, appeared to be a dead man covered in bugs, lucky to not have malaria, felt ashamed. |
t3_32yik7 | relationships | Me 20 [M], girlfriend [19F] best friends with her ex | Met the basically perfect girl, I had to move away and we decided to do long distance. Last time I did long distanced I was cheated on and already had jealousy issues before that (far from as bad as they are now). I trust her completely, what happened last time I should honestly have seen coming, me trusting her isnt the issue.
I knew she was best friends with her ex, but I thought it was a childhood thing (12-14). Turns out it was at an older age and it was relatively long term (8 months+). Theyre best friends, meet up a lot, im not in the country and they have a lot in common. Recently I made the mistake of video chatting with her while she was with him, and found out I really dont like his character, immature/childish, (I honestly don't think that's bias, but take it as you will) but she thinks he's genuinely hilarious (i heard her uncontrollably laughing) and they seem very comfortable with each other (I had never seen that side of her before) and as I said, have a lot in common which I dont have in common with her.
Logically I should end it right, but I don't want her to be a what if... | shes best friends with her ex and we're long distance, i trust her completely but ive been cheated on before and have developed jealousy issues |
t3_1xgwyi | relationships | I [M/27] am losing patience. | Sorry for the throwaway.
I'm exhausted of chasing down dates (online or in person). The dates I have been on have been the epitome of mediocre. I'd really like to find someone special; a companion, someone to come to home to and wake up with everyday. It just is so hard to see the forest through the trees at this point.
I guess I'm hoping people who have been in my situation can share some positive dating/relationship stories. I'm quite aware that my problems are incredibly minor compared to a lot of others on this subreddit (infidelity, kids, marriage, etc.), but I've just been very lonely lately. Most of my friends have moved away from where I live for work, school, or their S.O.'s. I spend a lot of time on my own. | Late 20's dating and social ennui, could use a boost if anyone has stories, experiences, or advice to share. Thanks. |
t3_xpbu4 | AskReddit | I said I have "widescreen" vision in response to a comment about my Asian eyes. What was your best response to an ignorant comment? | I am an Asian female born in the U.S. Fortunately, I have not encountered much racism in my life. The few times I have, I'm usually stunned speechless. Only one glorious time did I come up with a good response in time to actually say it...
In high school, I went on a school trip to NYC. One evening on a packed subway, I noticed one of my classmates staring intently at my eye, as if she was trying to figure something out. Eventually she suspiciously asked me, "How do you wear eye make up? Cuz like, your eyes are so...squinty." I said I don't wear make up, so I have no idea. She went on to ask, "I mean, do you like see differently or something from normal people? They're just so weird."
I was pretty shocked, but I told her, "Well, we Asians can't see up and down as far as normal people. But on the plus side, we have greater peripheral vision. I think of it as widescreen vision, like the director's cut of the world." And she believed me. So I went on, "Back in ancient China, we had these really long horizontal scrolls instead of vertical scrolls because we can see the whole thing all at once. I think you guys have to move your eyes." | Asian female; girl asks if I can see as well since I have squinty eyes; tell her I have widescreen vision. |
t3_3y1k9a | relationships | How do I [M 24] reject this girl [F ??] nicely (if at all)? | So, a bit of a silly question, but here goes. I was on a flight the other day, and towards the end of this flight one of the flight attendants hands me a napkin and tells me it's from another flight attendant. On it was a note from the other flight attendant saying that she never does this but that when she's in my city we should meet up. She also left me her number. We had chatted a little bit on that flight and also the flight before (both of my flights coincidentally had the same crew), but just a bit of small talk.
Now, I'm in a very happy relationship of 3 years currently and I wouldn't ever dream of going behind my girlfriend's back and actually meeting this girl. However, I think it's really cool that this girl went out of her way like this and I'd like to text her and tell her thanks and that I'm very flattered, but I have a girlfriend. I know that were the situation reversed and I had gone out on a limb, I would much rather receive a message saying that than receive nothing at all. I don't know if that's true of everyone though, so I'd just like a few opinions. | Flight attendant gave me her number but I want to reject her nicely since I have a girlfriend. Don't know if I should just completely ignore it, though. |
t3_3ewsua | personalfinance | Investing in index funds; online v high street | So a little background. I'm 32 years old, long long time lurker (this is the first post), late to the investing game. I've a stable job, baby on the way, married and 3 years into a mortgage. Having lurked, I've taken a good bit of advice from a number of these subs; from my pay I've been able to set aside 6 months savings for mortgage and bills, and I'm paying into both my pension and an additional AVC. Mortgage is the only real debt, with €350 credit card debt the only big debt after that. After all that, I'd say I've room to save €1,000 a year which I want to put into long term savings. With that kind of money etc, and with no big initial deposit to hand, it makes more sense to go for an index fund and last out for the long run rather than buying/selling shares; basically build wealth over a 35 year period. I'm based in Ireland, which doesn't really have the same online marketplace that the likes of America has (or even the UK to an extent), so im worried that I'll end up signing up to be the next Nigerian Prince over the Internet. I don't currently own any stocks and while I've researched investing in general I've a specific question for you guys:
For index funds, how safe or secure are the likes of Betterment*\Vanguard or other online brokerages over going to an actual high street stockbrokers and asking them to buy for me? (Obviously costs are the big one but I can't help but feel I'm risking my money by trusting the internet broker, also the irony of asking the Internet stranger for sound financial advice!)
*Betterment are my leading choice at the moment. | Are online brokerages for index funds a good long term bet, or should I go for my local stockbroker in person? |
t3_xs27m | AskReddit | Reddit, what was your biggest "You're going to have to owe me big time for this" moment? | About 2 years ago, when I was 16, I was in a relationship my girlfriend (now ex, we'll call her J). I have a younger brother, Eric, who is a year younger than me and we get into some crazy shit trouble with each other. So one day, my parents leave to have dinner, leaving me and Eric alone for the night. This was the perfect opportunity to call my girlfriend over for some fun so I did and when she came, we start to get into it. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex in my room. During in the middle of it all, I suddenly hear my front door close. FUCK MY PARENTS ARE HOME. At that moment, Eric rushes into my room and tells me and J to shut up. As my parents make their way upstairs to see what all the commotion is, Eric runs into his room, drops his pants and start jacking it. My parents open his door, baffled and perfectly on cue, I rush J downstairs and sneak her out. Afterwards, as I make my way back upstairs all calm and shit, Eric gives me the deepest "You owe me big time" stare. I love my little bro. | has girlfriend over, starts to have sex, parents come home, brother purposely gets caught jacking it so I can escape. |
t3_2549wd | travel | Destination Ideas for Early 2014 | Hi all! I've been a lurker for just over a year but have finally made an account as I need some advice.
I'm looking to travel for maybe a month or so in January next year, before I begin university. I have had Uzbekistan in my sights for a long time but I have recently discovered that the weather is quite unpleasant during this time. My next thought was Ethiopia/Eritrea, however there doesn't seem to be any hostels available. As I will be traveling alone, I would like to be able to easily meet people. So can anyone suggest some other destinations?
The main features about a country I look for are an exotic culture (and I mean this in the least condescending way possible), delicious food and interesting sights. I am a 17 year old Australian male and I have already traveled to (in chronological order) Fiji, Indonesia, Japan, Malaysia, Vietnam, Cambodia and India with my family. We always make minimal plans and just wing our way around countries (my parents have a lot of backpacking experience). In out most recent trip to India, I played a leading role for several legs so I am comfortable organizing accommodation and transport on a whim and dealing with scams, excessive bureaucracy and general craziness. I have $5000 saved up but I could save more if necessary. Language/cultural barriers aren't a problem, nor are uncomfortable conditions.
I'm not too keen on visiting South-East Asia right not as while it's a great area, I'd like to go somewhere completely new. Nor do I want to visit Europe, as I plan on going there to study and/or with friends later on. | Future 18 year old looking for a destination for January 2015 that has some sort of backpacker scene (i.e. hostels) and isn't freezing. |
t3_2qsx9t | relationship_advice | Long distance "Bae" is making me [18/M] reluctant to ask out girl I'm interested in [19/F], how should I approach this. | Before I start, thank you for reading this reddit.
So around 1 year ago I met a girl through a mutual friend, we'll call her "Lisa". I initially didn't have an interest romantically in her, but over the course of time till now we became good friends, talked a lot on fb, texted and even though she was in college and I'm now a senior in high school, we tried out best to see each other when we were free. Recently on Christmas, she came over and got me a gift (I had one for her too) and we ended up just watching anime in my room, since we're both into that. She had come over to my house before to watch anime with me but it was downstairs the first time so this one felt cool cause it was in my room. She asked if she could play with and style my hair for the upcoming convention we're going to and I agreed I mean why not?
The only thing stopping me from asking "Lisa" out is her long distance European "Bae". (I say that cause I'm in the USA). I found out about him because she asked me to help her download league of legends even though she refused to ever do that when I suggested it. I guess my jealousy showed cause I ended up 1v1 the guy and I destroyed him and kinda rubbed it in. Anyway, she says that they "act like a couple but aren't official", have been on and off for 5 years and at one point didn't speak for one year. They have never met in person. | how do I convey my feelings to "Lisa" knowing this guy exists without overstepping my boundaries as to what is right. Thank you. |
t3_2ek2ju | legaladvice | I received a speeding ticket in a national park and I am a VA resident. Does the Federal Government report demerit points to the DMV? | I can afford to pay for the ticket, however I do not wish to get points on my license in order to keep my insurance rates reasonable (21 y/o male insurance rates). The infraction was for doing 60 in a 35, which is usually reckless driving in VA, but because I was courteous and apologized to the officer right away, he listed it as general speeding.
The circumstances for speeding were entirely my fault, however I almost never speed drive above the speed limit, and at that point I was trying to keep up with a friend I was following, who also received a ticket. If possible, I would like to apologize to the judge and explain that it was a momentary lapse in judgement, and that I am willing to do traffic school if possible to reduce the demerit points. | Do the feds report points? Is it smart to appear in court for a 25mph over ticket and apoligize? Can I do traffic school for a federal court in exchange for reduced points? |
t3_3nhu0w | relationships | My friend [21M] called me [20M] out on being a racist | So last night I was hanging with some friends of mine as per usual. We began to get into a heated argument about politics and I said something along the lines of I think Donald Trump could win the election based on some of his views. I had been drinking a good bit that night so I don't remember exactly what I said, but things escalated pretty rapidly to the point where the issue became about race.
My friend is a person of color and I am white. We were talking about inequality and how Trump has said some very racist things during his campaign so far. I disagreed and said that I can't understand the race issue because I am white. After more conversing, my friend called me out on being a racist because I can't look at us ever being equals. That wasn't my intention, but I apologized for making my racist comment but things had escalated past the point of forgiveness at this point.
I decide to go home and sleep on what I had done wrong. I texted my friend in the morning and apologized for what I said and that I was racist and I apologize for coming across that way. My friend said that he doesn't think we can have a friendship anymore that has those views. What can I do to remedy the situation? It was never my intention to be racist, and for most people it isn't, but I definitely was and I admitted to that. | Drank some with friends. Started talking about politics and it came down to me being racist. I apologized, but think I ruined a friendship. |
t3_gbb5i | relationship_advice | Reddit, I need your wisdom and clever philosophical minds! | Trying to keep this as short as possible. Last week I broke up with my girlfriend, mainly because I felt awful about hanging out with a different woman who I quickly became infatuated with. We've talked about our mutual feelings many times, she has a boyfriend who has been overseas for over a month and hasn't spoken to her, and makes her feel like shit about herself. She continues to name her impulses, and finally drunkenly said she couldn't move forward until she spoke to him, but that if I had some argument that would end her moral and ethical dilemma she could be convinced. | Help me write the ethics paper that convinces this woman it's ok to leave her negligent boyfriend for me, humor is a plus. |
t3_20atp8 | relationships | Not sure if this is where I should post, but my friend [16 F] just told me that she's in love with me [17 F], but I have no feelings towards her whatsoever. | So there is this girl who I've been best friends with for about three years. Let's call her V.
Today V confessed that she's been in love with me for a long time, since shortly after we first met, but I have no romantic or sexual feelings towards her at all (I'm bisexual, btw). She's an awesome person but I really just do not feel that way in the slightest.
I should pause and mention here that V struggles mentally, and she also has pretty severe OCD and depression. This makes it hard to talk to her at times, and she also usually feels really, really guilty about small things.
Anyway, she also has a boyfriend who she's been with for over a year, and they're very happy together, but she also told me that she was considering breaking up with him to be with me.
I told her that I didn't feel that way about her and that I couldn't see us ever dating. I also said that maybe we should spend some time apart so she can sort out her feelings and try to get over me. She started crying and saying things like 'But I've never felt this way about anyone else before and I probably never will again.' I just gently said that I was sorry, but that there were always going to be other people for her to love.
I just feel awful. I kind of want to be able to love her back because I understand how painful unrequited love can be, but I just don't and I don't see that ever happening. She's a great friend and I'd love for us to stay friends, but I don't think we can when she obviously feels this strongly about me. She is not the sort of person to take these kinds of things well either, because of the OCD and the guilt aspect of that, and I'm partly worried for her safety. I really don't want her to hurt herself.
Anyway, sorry for the massive post, but I really needed to get this off my chest and I really need some advice. Thanks. | My friend of 3 years is in love with me, but I don't feel the same way about her. Can we still be friends? |
t3_3pbc4j | relationships | My Parents [50] Have Changed Their Mind About Getting Me [19/M] an Apartment | Please don't get the idea that I'm a spoiled brat from my title, I'm really not.
I recently started college, when I was choosing which college I'd accept the offer of admission from, my parents told me they'd get me an apartment if I went to this particular school, as it's 3.5 hours away.
Right before the school year started, my parents decided that I didn't need an apartment, because it's not that far to commute. I now spend 7 hours of every day taking a train and several busses. My grades are slipping, I have no internet connection or quiet study space for 7 hours of my day. I have no social life whatsoever. I'm absolutely miserable.
There's no schools closer to me, and I have no job, nor do I have the time for one. I don't qualify for any government grants as my parents are wealthy, and I don't want to incur serious student debt by getting more loans. I've already taken out significant loans to pay for my schooling.
Lately I've been thinking about switching to a farther away school so that my parents would at least help me pay for a place to live, but I don't know how I'd explain that to them.
Can anyone offer any advice? | Parents said they'd get me a place to live for college, changed their minds last minute, grades and social life are suffering due to extremely long commute, can't afford my own place. |
t3_1tsixi | needadvice | CS grad here, hate current job. Seeking to be better | So I have a full time job as a tester... I hate every minute of it.
I have a CS degree with a minor in networking and security and MSc degree in IT. I wasted half the time at Uni, I started working hard and paying attention to class way too late. So I did a MSc, maybe that was gonna help me but it didn't.
I don't live in the US. Here in my country, companies ask for provable experience in certain technologies like Java or .NET, but I don't have that. Sometimes they ask my experience using Design Patterns at work, I tell them I have heard of some but never have used them.
I have some web dev experience using LAMP stack. (Internship and part time).
One internship abroad, working with JavaScript.
Some experience in C while working in Uni part time and at another company full time, but I got out of that other company because it was an embedded software position. I don't like working with hardware.
I have interviewed with MS (went to Seattle), Amazon and some other companies from US. I like those because they often ask to solve problems in any language. But push comes to shove, they require people that code every day. I won't lie maybe I'm a bit slow, I but I do practice solving problems in C and Java before any technical interview.
I don't have much experience. I did my master right after graduation from college.
I spent most of 2013 searching for a fulfilling job. I went through a lot of interviews. I got rejected a LOT. So basically many companies tell me I don't have experience. I have interviewed for SDE and SDET positions.
I do try to work outside of my job. I have tried doing a PHP job and a RoR job but both fell apart. I couldn't get any help or the company thought I was charging too much. I have tried getting friends onto these projects but they are also busy with their life.
Should I stop trying in 2014 and stay in my shitty job? I don't know how to better myself, I feel I'm stuck. | I'm not complaining about my current job. I'm well paid considering my short experience, but there is a feeling that i could be doing so much more. |
t3_2yv1kr | relationships | Me [21 M] taking girls [20F] virginity. Please don't kill me. | Ok some preface. Been seeing this girl for a bit and she is a virgin. I REALLY like this girl, like super into her and I'm pretty much her first boyfriend.
The last thing I want to do with her is to fuck it up by moving too fast, but I do want to get more intimate with her. I just don't know how to approach it, do I simply ask her if she's ready or is that too much pressure on her? Also, how do I make sure that she is comfortable and not in any pain during the act.
Sorry if this all seems a little jumbled, I myself have not slept with many women and all were pretty much way more experienced than me. | I Want to know whether it is ok to ask a girl if I can take her virginity. Sorry if this sounds bad. |
t3_1ndyuj | relationships | I [29M] need help. [26F][1.6y]. | My girlfriend is abusive.
She is the most beautiful, intelligent, witty, loving person I have ever met.
You see my dilemma.
She has a history of distrust/etc from growing up in an emotionally abusive household. She displays all the characteristics of an abusive partner (interrogation, physical (only once and it ended), nagging, bickering, etc), except minus low self esteem.
I love her to death, and want to marry her, but her neuroses keep getting in the way. I love her, I don't know what to do.
Tonight I grab a beer after work. I tell her who I'm out with, etc. I was out with one guy for 3 hours, another for 30 minutes after guy one leaves. She asks me who Im out with, I respond guy one. An hour later guy one posts something to facebook insinuating Im not with him (he had just left!). I get interrogated, and she threatens to end the relationship because she was 'just waiting for another one of my lies'.
I tell her if she keeps being abusive and interrogating, Im ignoring her. She continues, I ignore ignore ignore... you get where this goes.
This is nothing new, I'm just at my wits end. We've been to couples therapy, albeit months ago and it helped for awhile. Ive texted her to tell to either seek help, or 'tell me where to send her things', as she put it.
Escalates needlessly, lost so many friends. idk what to do...
help? | my girlfriend is abusive. I told her if she continued interrogating, I was hanging up. She pushed, I hung up. Now she says Im unsupportive, terrible, etc. |
t3_luc9b | AskReddit | Anyone else get back pain while driving? If so, what are your useful methods of fixing the problem? | I'm a 17 year old female, driving a 2005 jeep grand cherokee. The seats are pretty deep, but I have the same problem in my boyfriend's RAV-4. Anything over 30 minutes and I get excruciating pain in my lower back, and on either side of my spine.
This problem isn't as bad when I am not driving, I can move my legs/torso around to help the problem. Someone posted a link on r/gaming of a video to help relieve lower back pain (works great, I use it in school when I'm aching. Problem is, you can't really cross your legs and stretch while driving; at least I can't.) anyone have any stretches/methods/objects/devices they use?
Thanks, reddit! | back pain after driving for short periods of time. Any tips on how to alleviate the pain or lengthen the time you are able to drive? |
t3_2s9gw6 | relationship_advice | Should I [30/m] call out my wife's [29/f] lies? | My wife is planning a weekend get-away that I was interested in doing with her. I asked if I would be imposing by going with her and she said "it's just going to be a girl thing". I asked her who was going and she said Rose, Margret, and some of Margret's friends (not their real names).
I did some snooping on Facebook and discovered that Rose would not be able to attend and that a Charlie (male) would be attending. I have since asked my wife "who is going to be there again?" and again she said "Rose, Margret and some of Margret's friends". She's close with Rose and I feel that she should have at least said "Well Rose backed out, but Margret and some of her friends will be there".
I realize I have some severe trust issues resulting in me snooping around on Facebook. But I think the snooping is warranted in this case. I'm thinking about confronting my wife about it. She has found out that I was snooping on Facebook and she knows that I'm having trust issues. She's having trust issues with me due to the snooping (it's become a downward spiral). | I think that if we're to rebuild our trust, she should be open with me. Therefore, I should call her out on the fib. |
t3_3q7u7g | relationships | Me [35F] in a bridal party for a destination wedding, they are making me split the bridal shower costs, is this right? | Hey guys I am going to a destination wedding in Mexico next year. I don't know any of the bridesmaids and they recently reached out to me. They are asking me to split the bridal shower costs and they want to have it at a restaurant.
I've never been to a bridal party that asked me to pay before and felt it was especially rude since the wedding is costing my family almost 3000 alone to attend.
They expect to have about 50 people attending and we priced it out to be about 2000 at a restaurant. There are 4 bridesmaids so that is 500 each. | bridal party wants to split costs of bridal shower, going to cost me 3000 for the trip and 500 for the bridal shower, am I being cheap? |
t3_185mry | relationships | My (f18) best friend(f18) of 4 years told me she didn't want to be friends, but now she's sorry | After I had changed our plans to hang, she got sick of me and told me she did not want us to be friends anymore. I know it was not the first time I had to change plans last minute, but this was an emergency.
I spent an hour crying on my boyfriend's shoulder trying to understand what the hell was going on. I was very confused and scared. She has been the best friend I ever had Since middle school.
Just now, after unfriending me on facebook and deleting our pictures, she added me again and messaged me saying she was sorry and she wants us to still be friends. My initial reaction would have been happy and I would have been fine with her, but I am so hurt that she has done this that I don't want to say anything right now.
How should I respond to her messages and texts? I want us to be friends again but I want some time away from her at the moment because I am still really hurt by what she said. She is trying to set up time to hang out again but I have not responded because I'm scared to say something dumb. | Best friend tried to call it off, but then apologized. How do I explain that I'm not ready to trust her again so quickly because it was heartbreaking? |
t3_u1ric | relationships | How do I remove the sexual tension from a platonic relationship? | I'm 21, she's about 21 as well, we met during dancing lessons six weeks ago. I get along quite well with this lady. In particular, we can talk without any end or inhibition, understand each other's sense of humour, etc. Of course, she's taken, but given that I have no female best friend she would be perfect to fill that position. The thing is, whenever we're together the tension and, quite frankly, arousal from having her by my side can become very distracting. My rationality is inhibited by her presence and I start imagining that she fancies me, so coming down to the realisation she doesn't after we part leaves me melancholic for the rest of the day.
Is there a way out of my misery? If I were to try explaining my reaction, I would say that it's simply because of the time we spend together and the attention she pays to me. (I've never had an actual romantic relationship, even though I once spent half a year flirting before she told me about her boyfriend.) I've had several similar episodes in the past, none of which ended favourably (with either a romantic relationship or a friendship). Key events in those episodes were sharing an umbrella, receiving dancing lessons, talking about lightning, discussing her art and receiving a hug in return. One time when it's gone well, I believe the reason it worked was because I got to really know her only after having met and befriended her boyfriend. He's my best friend now. In the case currently at hand, this possible solution is sadly not feasible. | Would like to have a good platonic friendship with an ideal candidate but stupid me gets confused by excessive attention and kindness into temporarily believing she wants more. |
t3_2os0b7 | relationships | I'm a [20]F and have been with a [19]M for over 3 months, and it's pretty serious. How do I tell him I want him to pop the question? | So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a bit over 3 months. I've know him for over a year, and we go to college together. (We also crushed on each other for about 8 months before I was brave enough to make a move). He isn't my first relationship, and I know he's different than other people I've dated. I'm an utterly in love with him.
When we talk about the future, it's always "when" we get married and "when" he proposes and "when" we have children. He doesn't work, but I have a steady job. We both want kids, but after we finish our respective degrees, and I refuse to have them until I'm married. But I'm ready to be married, or at least engaged to him. I know he wants to eventually, but how should I tell him I'm ready now? | Dating a guy for 3 months who wants a future with me, how do I let him know I want/am ready for him to propose? |
t3_2gkfey | relationships | I [22M] have been dating my best friend [20F] for 2.5 years and she just told me she is asexual | I started dating my current girlfriend 2.5 years ago and we have truly become best friends. We have similar ideals and values but have no problem differing in opinions. We are not 100% alike but compliment each other perfectly. I would rather spend time with her than doing anything else on the planet. We do not fight at all and have a seemingly perfect relationship from the outside. The only problem: sex.
I was my girlfriend's first sexual partner and she was not mine. We have been having mediocre sex for 2 years now and it's just as infrequent as it has ever been. Being her first sexual partner, I knew she would struggle with being comfortable in the bedroom but after 2 years nothing has changed. We have almost no intimacy in our sex life and when we do have sex it's treated like a chore.
So after two years she has admitted to asexual feelings throughout our entire relationship. Her asexuality has prevented her from ever really turning me on because I can see how fake/forced her sexual desires are. She is still willing to partake is sexual activities to please me, but she has no sexual desires of her own. She has transformed from my girlfriend into just my best friend. I would still rather spend time with her than with anyone else, but my sexual needs are just not being met and haven't been met for the last 2 years.
I would feel petty for ending a perfect relationship over just our sex life, but our lack of intimate sexual encounters is stressing the rest of our relationship. I want to continue the relationship but I don't think I could live with a non existent intimate sex life. How can I find the intimacy I need in other parts of our relationship? | Girlfriend recently admitted to being asexual. Perfect relationship except there is no intimacy in our sex lives. How can I find the intimacy I need in other parts of our relationship? |
t3_ei1j4 | AskReddit | Reddit, my boyfriend and his family are about to lose their house | Reddit, my boyfriend is hands down the most generous and kind person I know. His family and him are having a hard time paying their bills, and soon enough it's inevitable they will be losing their house. Reddit I'm calling on you for help.
I'm not asking for paypal deposits or anything like that.
I just need answers on how to help them. What do I do? His dad lost his job in 2008 and they've been having financial troubles ever since, usually his dad lands a seasonal job during Christmas however he couldn't get one with this time. His mom works as a para helping special needs children and doesn't make enough either. I don't know what to do, seeing him this stressed out makes me upset.
Another problem is they wont accept money or gifts of any kind, they refuse to be handed anything. I'm not sure what to do, I don't want them living on the streets. Someone give me suggestions...
They live in the somewhere around the NYC area if that helps
ALSO feel free to share your own stories | It's all in the title, dad lost his job in '08 and they've been struggling ever since. I need suggestions on how to correct this |
t3_1ql5ag | relationships | I [26 F] found out recently my ex [26 M] is dating a girl, and it still hurts. | We dated for a year when we were 23-24. Our relationship wasn't working out. I felt him pull away. I suspected he was getting very close with a female coworker. We broke up and it was a bit messy. During the breakup (it was a long process on and off for a few months before we finally just called it quits), I would feel insecure and asked him multiple times if he liked her, and he said no. He told me he doesn't even talk to her anymore.
It has been over a year since I talked to him. We decided it would be best if we just stop contacting each other. I recently found out through a mutual friend that he is dating that coworker.
I don't have a desire to be with him, and it has been over a year since we broke up. But finding out that he's dating her still hurts.
I just don't want to feel hurt about this anymore. Why do I still care? | I thought my ex liked his coworker while we dated. He told me he didn't. We broke up a year ago, and found out he's dating that coworker. :( |
t3_1ds044 | AskReddit | Reddit, what are your "I regret saying that" moments. | So my mom and her drunk boyfriend just got into an argument and while I was getting out of the shower the argument caught my attention. I got dressed and walked over to her room to check it out because I fear he would hurt my mom (he has before). He sees me at the door and shouts "GO TO YOUR ROOM AND SLEEP"At that point I was already boiling up because he's yelling at my mom so I said "You're not my dad, don't tell me what to do." This man treated me like I was his son and he loves my mom to death so he breaks down and cries because I assume I really hurt him. Then starts to yell "I'm not your father" over and over again. He's given up his house, car, and job to be with my mother and now he's outside somewhere I don't even know because he packed his bags and left. Now I feel terrible. Was I wrong for hurting him like this? | Argued with my moms boyfriend who treated me as his own son. Then I say "You're not my father", now he's run off somewhere. |
t3_3h7eda | relationship_advice | My bf(24) is acting like he is giving up... I don't know what to do. | We have been together for two years and recently my boyfriend has been feeling like he is initiating sexual activities a lot but doesn't tell me until he is extremely bothered by it......but we talked. about him telling me a little sooner than later.
But he hasn't told me sooner than later.
His game needs mkneyband I offered to give him money to conitue playing and he shut me down, when he normally wants money for stuff in-game... Now all of a sudden he doesn't.
Is he giving up on us? Is he shutting me out?
I try to iniate sex, or conversation but I get short answers.... What am I doing wrong?? | I cannot vent to my bf and I dint have. anyone to talk to and my bf suddenly is acting like he just doesn't care. |
t3_293i7z | tifu | TIFU by trying to escape the friend zone | This actually did happen today. about 2 hours ago, to be exact.
So, i work with a girl i've been into for a while. we hang out damn near daily and always have fun together. She was a little aggitated at her boyfriend today and decided to vent. I listened like a good friend, and gave the ol' "you gotta do whats best for number 1". I had an appointment to get to, so i left work and started driving. After about 30 minutes and a few beers, i decided to send her a message.
"hey, when you get tired of your boyfriends shit, you need to give me a chance."
"inappropriate" was the response given.
"It is mildly inappropriate, that doesnt make it any less true."
no response.
Whatever, shes not gonna stop being my friend or talking to me over that. 3 more beers go by and i get a new message from a number i dont recognize.
"inappropriate"
sure as shit, her boyfriend was in the store and caught a peak at the messages i had sent. He's not out for blood over it, but it's gonna be an awkward week or so..... | gummy bears are actually made in several different countries. the flavors of the bears vary significantly from country to country, so check the back of your package and look for switzerland preferably. |
t3_2aqd6s | relationship_advice | [23/f]: Should I keep staying away from my [25/f] friend? | So I've been friends with this girl since I was in first grade. We used to be so close and we told each other everything.
Over the past year I've kind of cut ties with her because she can be extremely bossy, or just plain mean. I always felt like I was walking on eggshells around her. She could have all kinds of opinions, but the second you said something bad about her or her life choices, she'd snap and turn into a total bitch.
I seriously had anxiety being around her: never knowing what was the right or wrong thing to say. I kept a lot to myself. She acted like all of her problems were worse than mine. She always had to one-up me. Like if I told her I had a bad day, her day was always 10 times worse. Every time I tried to bring up my issues, she'd sway the conversation back to herself within seconds. It was always about her and her problems. I know she was going through a lot at the time, but so was I. She really didn't seem to care at all.
I've been to therapy and my therapist pushed me in the direction of not being friends with her anymore. In the beginning, I did feel better not having her as a part of my life. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. But recently, I've missed her presence in my life.
She recently tried to contact me via Facebook and she said she missed me. I don't know whether or not to give her a second chance. Part of me is really nervous about it, as we've been on and off friends for a really long time. I'm scared to get hurt again. But part of me really misses her, as things weren't always bad and we have so much history together. I wonder if she's matured.
I'm not sure what I should do. I've never made friends really easily, so the ones I have, I tend to keep for a long time. I know she's lost quite a few friends over the past few years for pretty much the same reasons. I just don't know what the right thing to do is. Should I give her another chance, or let go? | I cut ties with my best friend since first grade because of how badly she was treating me. She recently tried contacting me. Should I give her another chance or let it go? |
t3_wqpos | relationships | Because of our situation, my girlfriend and I cannot date during the school year. We want to get back in the summer, but she said something... | So she and I (16 male, 15 female; 3 months) are in a high-school program based on leadership. Love ruins leadership, because it promotes favoritism (*this is a rule of the program - absolutely no dating among fellow members*). I told her we should be apart during the school year, and get back in the summers and then once high school is over. I was willing to go about 9 months single, so I could get back with her.
Then she told me that our instructor told her that he sees her as the kind of girl who guys would want. He "expects" her to have a boyfriend. She said we should date someone else during the school year, so that our instructor won't be suspicious.
I asked her why does that mean she must be with someone? So what if his expectations are wrong?
She told me that it doesn't mean she has to date, but she has to act like she likes someone.
I told her that's ridiculous. She'd fall in love with someone, if she were to date. Otherwise, why date someone? She'd fall in love and not come back. Or she would have to go through a break up.
She told me she would leave someone at the end of the summer to go back to me.
I think what she wants to do is ridiculous. She'd be either dating someone who loves her, only to crush him when summer was over, or she would fall in love with this guy eventually. I need some sense, Reddit. Is what she wants to do even possible? Why or why not? | My girlfriend and I cannot date during the school year. She suggest that we date other people during the school year, but get back in the summer. Is this a recipe for disaster? |
t3_2mut8l | relationships | Me [24f] with my ex [28m] we dated for a year over 4 years ago. Can't stop dreaming of thinking about him. I made a terrible mistake and can't get over it. | Dreaming or* thinking about him
As the title says. We dated for about a year. He dumped me for another girl because I couldn't visit. I was still under my parents thumb as they were supporting me financially. A couple months after he dumped me and I started college, he drove 7 hours to see me and we went out for dinner and he wanted to get back together but I couldnt drop out of college to be with him.
Anyways life goes on, four years later I have a career and I think he's still with the girl he dumped me for. They have a house I'm not sure if they're getting married.
For the last 10 months I've been having dreams about him every night and I can't stop thinking about him and I miss him so much. I regret staying in college but my parents would have killed me if I dropped out to be with him.
I've tried everything short of getting lobotomized to get this horrible existence under control.
What should I do? Should I tell him? Probably not my ship has already sailed. I'm a wreck I can't have relationships, I hate my job. I was offered a job in his city but that would just make it worse so I declined. | missing ex from four years ago and its ruining my life, should I say something or should I move to a different planet? |
t3_wgzfx | legaladvice | Sheriff calling MY to tell my boss I need to visit my boyfriend. | My boyfriend is in jail. He wants me to visit. He was trying to contact me (but didn't have my number memorized). He ended up getting it from a friend and calling me. He had to write my name down or something to make it okay for me to visit. Apparently made a comment about not being able to contact me...
I work for University police apparently the Sheriff recognized my name and called my place of work...He didn't ask for my number to contact me, instead he told my boss that my boyfriend was in jail and I needed to call The Sheriff's department to set up visitation. My entire place of work now knows my boyfriend is in jail.
I don't care that much because some of the people I work with knew anyway, but I feel like that isn't something that should be done. Calling someone's work place to tell them to give a message to the employee about visiting their boyfriend.
I talked to a guy at the jail and he said that they do not make personal calls about visitation, but he would talk to his supervisor about it. I also called Public Safety to see if it was legal, but since they are close with the Sheriffs department they didn't help much. They told me the Sheriff was trying to be nice, which I understand too, but....
IS THAT LEGAL?!
Is there something I can do about it if it is illegal? | A sheriff called my place of work to tell my boss that I need to visit my boyfriend who is in jail. Is that legal? If not what can I do? |
t3_54bjgb | relationships | Did I [38m] disrespect my girlfriend [33f] or are her expectations too high? | Posting this cuz not sure if I owe her an apology or maybe the other way around.
I work at a bar and we close at 3am. After our closing activities me and my coworkers always hang out and have drinks.
My girlfriend also has a late work schedule. We live together and usually she's awake when I get home but last night I stayed later than usual. At 5:20am she calls me because she's going to bed.
I ask her if I can call her back in 10 minutes because I'd leave for home then. She says she's very tired and rather not wait. I tell her I'll call back in two minutes, and I do.
When I call her I tell her we've got to hurry because I don't want to be rude to my friends. (I haven't left yet, just gone to a different part of the bar.) She gets hurt and offended that I want to rush the call. We end up arguing.
**My perspective:**
When with friends it's rude to walk off for a 10 minute phone call with your girlfriend. She's getting upset at me when all I'm trying to do is show respect to my friends. She expects me to be rude to them to please her.
**Her perspective:**
It's not rude to go take a 10 minute goodnight call with your girlfriend, especially if the friends you're with are people you see often. (I admit I hang out with my coworkers every night after work, which is 4 times a week, though it's not always the same people.) She also brought up that we'd barely seen each other 5 minutes that day before I left for work so this was our only chance to talk for the day.
So it's a new day now and I'm confused. Do you think I've been rude to her? Or do you think she's expecting too much? | Girlfriend felt disrespected that I said we had to hurry up our goodnight phone call, even tho I was with friends and didn't want to be rude, however I admit I see these friends pretty often. |
t3_ve0gs | AskReddit | How do you convince someone you love that they need to go to therapy? | My mom is one of the strongest people I know, but she has had an incredibly hard life. Her 24 year old brother was killed in the war when she was 13, her father was rarely around throughout her entire childhood, she was raped as a teenager, she dropped out of college because she was pregnant, got married and had a still-born child, down the road had another child with her husband, husband cheated on her, got a divorce, married my dad, had me, and since her first marriage she had something like 11-13 miscarriages. She now has a bit of a drinking problem, is constantly stressed and running to take care of everyone, she can never relax, and from what I can tell, she always needs company so she doesn't have to think. The drinking seems to be driving my dad away, and her somewhat common freak outs at my brother and I seem to be driving us away as well. Her father died this past year. I love my mom and she loves all of us more than anything, but she needs help and anytime I try to talk to her about the drinking or therapy or something, she blows up at me, even if every time that she gets upset late at night she talks about the same things. She has gone to therapy a handful of times in the past, but not enough to make any difference, I think she needs to go somewhere else. I'm 21years old, btw. | My mom has had an extremely hard life and needs to go to therapy(or something) to keep the family together. But she has become a pro at avoiding the subject. |
t3_1q0k7l | relationships | (X-Post AskMenAbove30) Do you think he's(30M) tired of taking care of me(26F) in this situation? | My husband (married for a year together for nearly 5) works long hours and a lot. I'm a house wife. I clean everything for him, grocery shop, and make dinner. But once a month, when my period strikes, I'm bed ridden. I can't walk and I'm in a lot of pain. I get it coming out both ends and awful migraines to boot. I also am prescribed major pain killers while this happens. Luckily his sex drive is less than mine so when I'm able I **take care of him.** In this situation do you think you'd get tired of taking care of your lady? I feel awful that he has to do it. Is he going to get tired of me? I'm going through it right now so it's making me feel lower than usual. :(
Thanks for your comments and advice in advance. | Would you get tired of taking care of your wife/SO if she was bed ridden once a month for a week? |
t3_1ba5dr | relationships | Should I [M26] virgin approach my girlfriend [F24] about her peeing while I'm on the phone with her? | So we are 7 months into our relationship; I'm 26 and she is 24 years old. It has reached the point of hour-long phone conversations; especially done before one of us sleeps. Two times this week, instead of just ending the call, I hear her (in mid-conversation) get up and tinkle away.
So I try to keep myself from giggling by putting an effort to keep a straight poker face (as the conversation continues).
haha, I'm not sure if it is just immature of me. I imagine it would be insignificant compared to passing the next base. Heck I have a conflicting voice telling me it is a pretty cute occurrence; she's just tinkling away my man. Just like when you see a friend's pet lay it all away with a smile/straight face. | Is this peeing-on-the-phone thing, a modern step forward in a relationship? Over-thinking things, aren't I? Damn, my HF autism (not joking). |
t3_30dd1j | relationships | Me [27/F], depressed and only seem to make friends with lonely 'nice guys' | Probably not a real problem in the scheme of things, but nonetheless:
I moved to a new city and have been depressed for a while, but this problem predates that somewhat. I have a habit of making friends with lonely "nice guys," and (different but related problem) keep end up with male acquaintances constantly trying to make boring small talk conversations on Facebook.
Often my male friends have expressed attraction which I haven't reciprocated, or they've said nothing but I get the feeling that it's there. I guess I'm drawn to these types of friendships because there's very little possibility of rejection, which seems unhealthy to me and a product of low self-esteem. On their part, they're generally pretty shy and unsuccessful with women, so I guess they're motivated by a "friends is better than nothing/at least a woman is talking to me/she might change her mind" mindset. Unhealthy for both of us.
So I guess I have two questions:
1. Should I scale back on hanging out and being emotionally open with my "platonic lonely guy friend" relationships?
2. What do I about guys who message me on Facebook with bullshit uninteresting small talk? I feel like I'm a dick if I just ignore the messages, but if I respond in an uninteresting way they generally still persist with the conversation. Some I have mutual friends with, so I can't make up a "Nice chatting with you, going to meet up with Imaginary Boyfriend now!" excuse. | not sure if it's healthy to be friends with lonely guys who probably want something more, and not sure how to deal with random guys constantly messaging me on Facebook with boring small talk |
t3_3msxmf | relationships | Me [mid20s] with my SO [mid20s] of 5+years, Unsure if I should tell him a detail about the period where we were broken up. | Hi R/relationships.
I (Mid-20s F) want to keep my post as vague as possible because I know my SO(Mid-20s M) browses reddit.
I hooked up with a few people during a period where my SO and I were broken up. This was a breakup and not a break.
I did not think that we would get back together even though I wanted to.
Before getting back together my SO was informed of these people but when I asked if SO wanted to know any details SO said no.
Lately I've been feeling guilty because SO does not know about some sexting that happened during that period. I think that would make what is already painful for SO to process even more painful. I do not believe this would be a dealbreaker
but I think that it would be extremely upsetting. I absolutely love this person. Our relationship is great and we are able to talk
through our problems effectively. I see a future with this person and would never want this information to hurt SO.
My question is: Should I tell SO eventually even though SO had previously declined details? If so, when would be a good time?
If you were in this position would you want to know?
Am I just being stupid and letting my guilt get the best of me? | I did single stuff while single. SO stated that SO did not want to know details. Can't decide if it would do more harm to tell or not tell. |
t3_iu611 | dogs | My dog gets agitated and protective when I come into physical contact with my wife. Advice? | I have two dogs, and the one in question is my 4-year old Border Collie/Lab Mix, Pickles (Obligatory picture of him derping out [here] He is a rescue and has always had little quirks ever since we've had him as a puppy. When we originally rescued him he had been tossed from home to home and was seriously ill with worms. As such, we've always been a little coddling of him, and he's always been very needy. He is especially attached to my wife, and is very protective of her - to the point when a bum assaulted her when she was walking him in the park at night, he bit and chased off the attacker.
Overall, he's a great dog - smart, great personality, a lot of fun etc. He does one funny thing, however that i'm not sure I understand. When I give my wife a hug, he begins to get agitated (whining, grumbling, pacing) and will often try to either wedge himself between us, or jump on one of us. As well, when I try to snuggle with my wife in bed he immediately and without fail will wedge himself between us. He doesn't do this in an aggressive manner, he's just forceful. If I "play fight" with my wife (kinda a "couple" thing, hard to explain... kinda like wrestling but just playfully. Not an innuendo for hanky-panky), he becomes highly agitated and will bark and growl.
I would stake my life he would NEVER attack me and get aggressive with me - he knows his place in the house and he is uber-affectionate with me. But this behavior is kind of frustrating when all I want is some intimate time with the wife.
Anyone encounter this type of behavior before? Anyone have any suggestions? Would be much appreciated. | Male 4 y/o dog gets agitated and wedges himself between me and my wife whenever we hug/snuggle. |
t3_38rvm3 | AskDocs | Simultaneous throbbing pain in middle finger and jaw | Hi there, I'm a 21 yr old Caucasian male, 6'3" (190cm), 175lbs (80kg). I take 75mg of bupropion (wellbutrin) a day. I'm in overall good health.
I guess this isn't really a super concerning or urgent question, but it's been on my mind and I couldn't really find any solid answers through Google. Occasionally, the middle joint of my middle finger and my jawbone directly beneath my chin will both throb with a somewhat sharp pain. They throb simultaneously, sometimes with my heartbeat and sometimes sort of sporadically. They only throb at the same time - they are never independently hurting. This will last for a couple of days or shorter, but sometimes I won't notice it for several days. Again, it's JUST the middle joint of my left middle finger and behind the jaw bone directly beneath my chin. It's been going on for around 3 months. I have no other health conditions. I eat relatively healthily (avoiding sugary/processed food, lots of veggies, etc.) however I do smoke cigarettes, probably 3 to 5 a day. I'm on no medication besides a low dose of Wellbutrin. This isn't a debilitating problem, however sometimes it can be a nuisance.
I doubt this is serious or anything at all, however I'm just curious. Sorry for the wall of text!! Thanks so much! | My middle finger and my chin simultaneously throb with a sharp pain. There is no other pain like it on my body. It doesn't really affect my life, I'm just curious. |
t3_2wmkc1 | relationships | Ex-girlfriend (20) is too busy to see me (M, 20) and feels that we can't date at the moment. Dated for roughly 3 months. | She's busy from the moment she wakes up until the moment she goes to bed at around 9ish due to working herself so hard. She has to take care of multiple horses, has class for half the day, and homework for the other half of the day with the time that she does have left over which isn't much at all. Her grades started to drop, and she just mentally can't handle being with me like she had thought she would be able to. She hates the fact that we had to break up, and she wishes that we could stay together. She feels that it is unfair to the both of us, not being able to see each other even once a week. She says we aren't broken up, but we aren't exactly together. We also have been best friends for over a year, so right now I THINK we are only best friends for now, but am not entirely sure. Reddit, what do? | ex-girlfriend is run-down and stressing far too much, feels that we can't date because we can't see each other. |
t3_2l5qua | relationships | He [24/M] doesn't open my [19/F] messages for hours - but I can see he's awake/online | I met "Johnny" 6 months ago through friends. There was an immediate connection between us and we started having sex about a month later. Our individual friends on both sides know about us, but our mutual group isn't aware. We're not at all official, haven't even discussed it, but we go home together almost every weekend.
He is a really, really kind person. He isn't my type at all but what attracted me straight away was how caring he was. I might have assumed this was just because he wanted to hook up with me, but he's an angel to EVERYONE. All of my friends, male and female, agree he's a really nice guy.
We talk through snapchat. It started when we were still in very early stages I guess because it seemed the most casual way to communicate with someone, but we just never switched to text or Facebook. So weird as that is, we chat a little bit every day through back and forth captions on whatever pictures.
With snapchat, you can see if somebody has opened your message or not. Lately, it takes HOURS for him to open a message from me although he responds straight away once he does. I've got into a bad habit of opening a chat with him on Facebook (not saying anything) to see if he's around, and he's usually active within the last few minutes.
It's highly possible he has Facebook open on his PC rather than his phone, but what? He just leaves his phone on the other side of the room and completely blanks it?
I have no idea what the reason could be to do that. | Have been sleeping with a guy regularly for months. When I message him, he waits hours before opening them, but then respons totally normally. |
t3_1jf2zz | relationships | Me[25M] talking to my [26/F] again, need advice | Soo where to begin.. I went out with this girl (A) about 3 years ago. It was a relationship in which I was unbearable at times. I had a lot of issues and I was immature. Eventually she got sick of it and left me and I was left in pieces. It took me a long time to recover but I then met a girl(B) who I went out with for about 2 years. She was amazing and changed me as a person, although I feel I cleaned up my attitude between the two relationships.
Anyway me and B broke up a while back. I just felt the spark was gone. Turned out that me and A, who had been avoiding me for 3 years because I was an ass got chatting again. I get on amazingly with her and I take responsibility for messing it up the first time.
There is a lot of finicky details I can add in but I just need advice. I mean chatting as in every single day. Anyway we have both discussed it and agreed it may go somewhere but it may not. This girl has always been in my head and the fact that we talk amplifies it. Dont get me wrong Im single and I will get with other women if I get the opportunity and I want to. But I just worry Ill get too involved and get hurt again. She is very busy and Im not atm which makes it difficult for me to envisage us developing the relationship. I dont even know if I want it to develop because every other day I feel mixed signals. Anyway thats it. Im probably being over dramatic and I should ride the wave and see where it goes? | An ex back in my life, I fucked it up first time, back talking, Dont know what to do . |
t3_1f8oyn | relationship_advice | (25F/25M) Swinging to no swinging? Why? | I'm the female.
I've been dating this guy for the past 8 months. We were pretty casual in the beginning, and he wasn't looking for a relationship... I was just out of a very abusive LTR. The past couple of months things have changed. Started hanging out with friends together, staying over at his place all the time. Trips together, etc. No "L" bombs.
He has always mentioned the fantasy of having a swinging relationship. Our sex is great, always, and I've explored so many new things with him; however, this one I was hesitant on. Last month we'd been talking about it more seriously, and even took pictures! We were going to set up a profile and see what it was like (MFF most likely, then maybe a soft swing, I'm bi-curous).
Last night, after sex.. I asked if he wanted to post those pictures, or take some more. Or if he was interested in swinging. His reply was, slowly... "We can, if you want to." I just looked at him. I said, "What?". He walked back inside from the patio and started to put a movie on and I just watched him for a second... He said nothing. I said, a bit bewildered, "I'm confused". He shook his head, didn't look at me, laughed a bit uncomfortably, and said he "Doesn't want to talk about it right now". I dropped it.
My question.. Granted, I know I can't read someone's mind, and I'm sure we'll revisit this, BUT... What could cause him to change his mind so much, and how should I bring this up again? | He wanted to swing, now doesn't, and I'm confused. Also... I'm afraid "I love you" is going to pop out of my mouth any second and I've never said it first. |
t3_toa27 | AskReddit | Not sure if this is the place for this BUT: Does anyone know how this word file randomly appeared on my computer? | I'll try to provide as many details as possible, but I do apologize for the length.
So last night I logged onto my computer for the first time, just browsing some Reddit before I went to sleep. After my browsing, every night I cue up 3 or so episodes of The Simpsons to fall asleep to. When I closed my windows to do this, I noticed a new word file on my desktop. I don't have too many icons, so this one stuck out. It was called, "Ryan's directions". While I know a Ryan, he has never been to my house or used my computer. In the house, it's just myself and my mother (who can barely send an email). Our internet is password protected, as is my laptop to log in.
I checked the properties on the word file and saw that it was created yesterday night around 12:00 AM. The thing is, that night I set up my Simpson sleep cue relatively early and was asleep around 11:30.
So I was asleep when this file got onto my Desktop.
Furthermore, I saw that the original document was created in 2009. I have only had my laptop for a year.
I did run a disc defrag as well as Spybot, but I am not the most computer savvy. Everything seemed to be normal. I did (and this is probably stupid) open the file. It contained instructions on building an image with shapes from word...?
If you have read this far, thank you! I am literally just so confused and would love to hear any advice. I will add pictures as well as the contents of the word file in the comments if anyone cares. | File randomly appeared on desktop after I was asleep when no one else has access to my computer. Said file was created in 2009 even though I've had my laptop for ~1 year. Any ideas, Reddit? |
t3_2tjvsz | relationships | I(24f) fucked(m25) up last night with a coworker. | Ayiyi. My coworker got a flat near me recently that he shares with another coworker of ours. Last night he invited me over to see their place and have some drinks where we proceeded to drink beer that turned to liquor that turned to having sex with my coworker. So, I like this guy and was excited when he moved near me because we get on well and had pretty instant chemistry. I didn't expect much from last night but that's what happened and now I'm feeling weird from two points. On the one side I feel like I made a mistake by having sex with someone I was interested in and am feeling like I slotted myself in the easy lay role. On the other side, I had sex with a coworker and his roommate/my other coworker knows about it. Blah. Luckily he works remotely so the only time we see each other is outside of work or at work events.
How do I handle this? Anyone have experience with that? Halp. | fucked my coworker and feel like I just slotted myself as a slut when I was kind of into this guy and curious to see where it went. Also worried about the whole professional side of it. |
t3_4ayfhc | tifu | TIFU by attempting to print over 18,000 pages. | At the school I go to there are printers for the entire student body; however, every student has a limit of how many pages they can print. This limit is supposedly enormous. I have been told by seniors (I am a freshman) that the limit is around 1000 pages.
During my English class yesterday, we got a chance to work on our essays, which were due today. I had already finished mine and was bored, so I held down CTRL and Enter in my Microsoft Word document because I wanted to see how many pages I could create. After about 9000 pages I got bored again and saved my work and closed Word.
Today, I got to school and then realized that I hadn't printed out the essay yet, so I went to a school computer and sent it to the school printer, but it didn't print. I tried a few more times, but it still didn't work. Then I emailed it to my friend and he tried to print it. Guess what? It didn't print.
My friend then noticed that the document had over 9000 pages that I totally forgot about. It was a sudden moment of realization that I had hit both mine and his print limit in a matter of minutes even though nothing had actually printed.
We went to a teacher and explained the situation (with emphasis on me being an idiot) and he said it would be $10 each to reset our limits.
So on Monday I will be coming to school with $20 because today I fucked up. | Forgot doc had 9000 pages, used up my friend's school printing limit along with my own. Now down $20. |
t3_q4v2f | AskReddit | What to say to a woman who tells you how she feels without leading her on? | Long story short my ex keeps texting me after she split up with her most recent boyfriend.. Telling me things like "I miss you" "You're always on my mind" (She is neither Blink 182 or Elvis Presley)
And she did that much damage I can only view her now as a friend, I have told this on a few dozen occasions but still proceeds with the feelings, so now I ask the Redditors what you would say or do in this situation?
She has just now text me saying she misses me, and all I can think of saying is.. "Thanks!" I don't want to ignore her, nor can I say "I miss you too.." that would get her hopes up and more importantly it would be a lie. | Unwanted ex texting feelings, what's the best response after trying very hard to explain nothing will ever happen again? |
t3_2i9q37 | tifu | TIFU by sending nudes to my boyfriend. | This happened this morning.
So I attend and play college softball for a school that's about 3 and a half to 4 hours from home. Being a student athlete, the team has not had a weekend off since we moved in back in August and this was the first weekend we all had time to go home and get away from each other. Rewind to yesterday when I came in, my mom invited me to run a few errands with her before I went to go see my boyfriend. The entire time I'm snapchatting him and by accident, one of the snapchats goes to a teammate. I thought nothing of it and that she'd understand or just think I was trying to snapchat her. Fast forward to this morning I am fresh out of the shower and decide to snap a few pics for my boyfriend before going over and seeing him later that night. So I'm snapping away and this girl sends me a snapchat of whatever in response to the accidental one I sent her yesterday... so now she's on my recent contacts and while I'm sending the pics trying to be quick I accidently send a snap to her rather than my boyfriend. And it was a picture of pretty much all of me. She didn't respond and I instantly freaked out and texted her apologizing and trying to explain that it was for my boyfriend.
The great part about it is that if she's told anyone then that will spread like wildfire.
The greatest part is that the stereotype for softball players is that we're all lesbians so by me accidently sending that to her, she probably thinks I'm trying to get into her pants or some shit. | Sent nudes to my boyfriend, accidently sent one to a teammate. Hoping she tells no one so people don't think I'm gay. |
t3_26fr1k | relationship_advice | Please help. I [27/m] think I'm in an emotional abusive relationship with my boyfriend [21/m] and I don't know what to do. | 3 Years together this August.
It started a bit slow, but right now it feels unbearable, the way he acts with me. I've noticed he acts like that with his family too (and that has caused him troubles) but he wasn't so bad at first with me, but lately it's downright awful and it makes me feel like crap.
Sometimes when I ask something he just yells at me like he's angry for no reason, sometimes he's like very angry at me and yelling and suddenly he'll just talk to a friend or someone like he's in the best mood and then as soon as he's back to me he's back to belittling me.
He's been using words that he knows that hit me in the worst of places.
I kind of think it's my fault because I really never put a stop to it and whenever I tried he'd just say "it's just the way I am, and if you don't like it just leave, fuck off." so I just stayed and -dealt with it-. But I'm not sure I want or even can anymore, I feel ashamed of myself, like I go out and I'm constantly belittling myself, like I have another voice in my head telling me all the things I do wrong and that I look bad.
Whenever I talk to him about my feelings he makes fun of me and says I'm too emotional and ridiculous. And then he makes me feel bad because he says "You make me feel like a monster because I tread you bad." and I end up feeling worse or I just forgive him instantly.
I'm staring to think I need to get out but I'm afraid I'm overreacting because a few years ago I suffered depression and I'm not sure if it's just me having like "flashbacks" or something, or if its really him. | Been dating 3 years, the comments and mood swings just seem to keep getting worse. For the past months I've been feeling insecure and he has said things to make me more insecure on purpose. |
t3_xebuf | relationship_advice | (22M)Just got out of a four year relationship, deeply attracted to a mutual friend of ours. How do I approach this or if I even should? | I recently just got out of a relationship with a girl who I'd been with for about four years. We had met in school and the relationship started well but over the years we started to realize that we were keeping the relationship on life support despite being unhappy with each other simply because we weren't able to deal with the pain of separating. We've now been separated for about a month. She initiated it, later regretted it and tried to go back on it but I said that we should hold firm and not get back together.
Now on to the second part. There is a girl who we have both been very good friends with for a number of years now, me for the length of my relationship with my ex and her since childhood. I've been extremely attracted to this girl on a physical and emotional level for most of the time I've known her. When I first met her she was in a relationship for over a year at the time. She got out of that relationship almost years ago. There have been times during our friendship where myself and others have thought she had feelings for me but the circumstances never really allowed for anything to come out of that. We've recently been spending a lot of time together and are arguably closer than we ever have been before.
What's the best way for me to approach this situation? I'm deeply infatuated with the other girl but I'm not sure how to cross that barrier of us being friends and her being friends with my ex. I've considering just leaving it be but I'm concerned this will end up being a situation where I regret not taking any action and just asking what if. | I recently broke up with my girlfriend and have had feelings for our mutual friend for years, how do I act on the situation or even if I should? |
t3_275ko4 | relationships | Me [20/F] with my boyfriend [23/M] and our sex-dream hypocrisy issue. | So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 1.5 years and pretty much moved in with each other right away. We are great together and don't argue almost at all and when we do, it's fixed by the end of the night.
However! We have a new issue. We were talking last night and he told me about how he got his first sex-dream. Cool! I'm all excited to hear what it was about (it was a threesome, cool deal). So, trying to make him feel comfortable I tell him that I occasionally have a wet dream ranging from once a week to once a month depending on my hormones. Well, he freaked out. He asked me what the guys in my dreams look like, what the dreams entail, etc. So I tell him and he freaks again. He claims that it isn't normal and if I don't admit that my frequent sex dreams aren't normal, that the relationship is in jeopardy.
I got defensive and said "Its a natural occurrence! Mine are a tad frequent but nothing to worry about." And he still won't listen. He claims that it isn't normal since I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't think of anyone but him sexually.
This argument is stupid and I don't know how to handle it. | My boyfriend has a sex dream, I tell him that I have sex dreams too. He gets self conscious and extremely angry. |
t3_ww2zx | legaladvice | Slanted, unsafe balcony still not fixed. What are my options? | So, the apartment complex where I reside has terrible ownership. When I moved in, the parking lot was full of potholes, the fridge had food from previous tenants, it could hardly be called clean, and the foundation was iffy.
That was about a year ago.
Now, thanks to Austin city officials coming and inspecting our balcony, we have been informed that the balcony, which had a *major slope* on the third floor where we live, was dangerous. The potholes remain unfixed, our apartment was never properly cared for (we had to clean it ourselves), and to top it all off our ceiling has been leaking and is molding with yellow spots. No action has been taken for any of this.
When we moved in, the person in charge of showing us around expressed to us that the balcony *was safe* and not to worry too much. Now, we come to find out that it is unsafe and could have caused fatal injuries in the event it collapsed.
PLEASE HELP! The owner is a penny pincher and could care less if we had our little fixes here and there. What are my options, and how can I get some satisfaction out of this (even if it just means the owner fixing the faults of the apartment that were in no way as a result of us living there)?? | Apartment has unsafe balcony when leasing office told us it was safe. Molding ceilings have not been properly cared for. What can I do to regain some justice from these scumbags?? |
t3_3z3vhp | relationships | Me [17M] with my girlfriend [16F] of 1.5 years | (Sorry for bad grammar)
So my girlfriend and I had a conversation some time ago about when you have crossed the line when it comes to cheating, and i told her that i wouldn't be okay if she kissed with another girl, and that I would consider it cheating, she then accepts how i feel and agreed not to kiss with anyone else than me.
After some month we where to a party together and she then asks me if she can kiss with other girls, and i would be okay with it, i then said okay and that she from now on was allowed to kiss with other girls.
But then i found out she alredy had kissed one of her friends before i said it was okay, and she is saying it isn't cheating because she isn't a lesbian, and i later on gave her permission. | i told her i didn't want her to kiss another girl, she then did it and later i gave her permission |
t3_1ykjyz | relationship_advice | Don't know how I [34/f] should deal with my therapist | I am seeking relationship advice with my therapist. We are in a therapeutic relationship, unlike most of the romantic relationships mentioned here. Also, I am not seeking advice having do with any of my issues.
Basically, for the last few months I have been telling my therapist that I was abused for years by a parent who spoke to me in French. My therapist also speaks some French, but our therapy is conducted in English. I speak very little French, and my therapist knows this. But a few times, my therapist has spoken to me in French. It made me very uncomfortable. I think my therapist was trying to be "cute" or "witty".
What's worse, I have told my therapist repeatedly that I am not comfortable around French speakers, because I am reminded of my abuse. Yet occasionally the therapist will say a few French words in our therapy sessions.
I like my therapist. She has been very helpful to me over the course of two years, but I feel violated by her use of French, albeit small, in a few of our sessions. She has only done this about four separate times total. Recently I told her that it bothers me and she apologized. She said that she didn't know that it bothered me (total B.S.) and thanked me for telling her a "vulnerability". This made me mad because I have been telling her about it for many months, but it seems like she never believed me or understood exactly how much it bothers me.
What should I do? I feel like I should end my relationship with my therapist over this, but I am wondering if I am overreacting. She has helped me so much with my problems and there is still more therapy needed, but I feel uncomfortable with her now, like my trust has been violated. | I am uncomfortable with my therapist's use of another language due to my abuse, which she knows about, and I am wondering if I should move on |
t3_4whwer | relationships | Do you think its fair to associate your significant other with his/her friends? | My boyfriend [M/27] close friends do not have their life together. All they do is go out, smoke, do drugs, drink and look for someone new to have sex every weekend.
My boyfriend, who I've [F/22] been with is the opposite, or at least tells me/acts that way around me. I know he has quite a past with all of it and used to be a fairly heavy drinker and into drugs, but I thought he was past that.
However, when he's with his friends he acts like a completely different person. He goes on about how much he wanted to get 'smashed' constantly goes on about all the drugs he used to do, asks about all of the stories regarding the girls they've had sex with etc.
I despite having to hear about that. I personally find it insulting and quite simply just plain disrespectful that he would go on about those things in front of me, especially considering we're in a relationship.
I've tried to tell him he acts quite differently when around them and he didn't take this well. He just went on about it and told me "how do you know I choose not to act that way around you?".
I chose not to say anything else as with him, he turns any criticism I give him into a massive argument and it's not worth it. | My boyfriend's friends are complete dicks; however, when my boyfriend is around them he adapts his behaviour to mimic theirs and turns into a completely different person. |
t3_3e3rtr | tifu | TIFU at the movie theatre | I went to the movie theatre a while back and decided that I wanted to get some snacks. I don't usually get snacks because they're really over priced and I don't need them, but that day I caved and decided to get some M&Ms. At the theatre where I'm from there is an M&Ms dispenser and you fill a little container with whatever type of M&Ms you want, but you can basically get double the amount of candy by filling the bottom of the container and the cap, quickly putting the two together, then opening it in your lap later. While I was in the lineup to pay for the M&Ms I realized that I accidently took two covers and one was stuck on top of my other cover. I stupidly thought I should just take the top cover off. Both covers come off and M&Ms go flying all over the floor. I was really humiliated and employee then gave me a tray. I put the unspilled M&Ms on the tray and proceeded to accidentally knock over the tray and the rest of the M&Ms were scattered all over the floor. They let me go get a new one for free, but I felt like an idiot. | I spilled $6 worth of M&Ms on the floor in front of a bunch of people at the movie theatre. |
t3_1bitff | relationships | I [m25] have been in a relationship with my partner [f25] for almost 9 years, and I'm worried it's come to an end | Hi there.
Long story short I live with my partner and we're generally happy. Problem being, our sex life has completely and utterly evaporated. It used to be fantastic until a few years ago where she became very ill with bladder infections et al almost every time we had sex.
Before you ask, sadly no it wasn't just a 'headache' excuse but genuine. We've tried everything but nothing seems to really cure it. To exacerbate the issue, she has severe body issues and can't stand how she looks. She's put on a small amount of weight since we moved out but hardly noticeable. She's still a US size 4, and looks great. She did have some psychiatric help a few years ago which appeared to help but apparently it was all just an act she put on to reassure those who cared about her. No matter what I say or do, there's nothing that will help her and it's been the basis of countless arguments.
Backstory out the way, it's been a gigantic elephant in the room and to be honest there's no skirting around the issue any more. We had a long discussion about about the possibility of going separate ways the other night and as per it concluded with us cuddling and moving on to something else.
She's difficult, often stressed and finds me enormously frustrating at times. Likewise for myself. We both have long houred, stressful jobs and finding time for each other is difficult nowadays.
She is my best friend, and has been for a long time. I just don't know if that's as far as it goes any more. | 8 years, no more sex, still young, best friend / girlfriend with genuine body issues. Am I in a relationship out of habit, and is it time to move on? |
t3_48iiq7 | Advice | PTSD - How do I minimise the effects/speed up recovery | I'll start by saying I feel pathetic for even posting here. The "Event" actually happened in highschool 6-7 years ago. I used to get bullied, seemed normal at the time I repressed all of it and buried myself in study.
I went through counselling after my grandma passed (my best friend), I wasn't a social outcast she was just the only person I trusted. Counselling caused me open up more, talk about my feelings which caused me to mention my past.
The "Event" consisted of me being cable-tied to a railing one lunchtime. It was tied so tight that my blood circulation became limited, it was very painful. At the same time I was surrounded by a large group of students who preseeded to torment me, slapping me on my ass spitting at me. I felt completely alone, my so called "friends" watched on didn't help. I've never felt so embarrassed and lonely, helpless. This went on for around 30 minutes, teachers ignored the situation.
When the bell went and lunch was over I was cut free, but that day changed me. I have trust issues it left me very cold and angry, I didn't tell anyone about this until recently.
So now I'm struggling to sleep some nights, I can't stop thinking about it. The pain comes back especially as I write this, the memory clear as day.
How do I deal with this, I fully accept I cannot change the past, but how do I let the past settle. I just want to move on the past shouldn't be important. I just want to finish University and put education behind me once and for all. | Suffering from PTSD centred around bullying/torture in highschool. Want any advice on dealing with the past and building a brighter future. |
t3_2kmyul | relationships | Me [18 M] dating [18 F] two months, need help with confusing situation!! | Hi. I posted this on /r/seduction, i wasn't sure where it would be better to make this post.
Im 18, and this is the first girl I've ever had a date with, so you can say im inexperienced. I've had two dates with her so far, i haven't even kissed her yet, tho i tried to steal a kiss from her on the first date. Anyways, this girl is giving me a huge headache because it's a major issue to even setup a date with her. the first date she arrived 1 hour late, the second date almost didn't happen ( we had a really good time in both dates ), and it's been two or three weeks now and she keeps making excuses to why she cant go on dates, (she has a job and studies fashion design) though she is the one setting most of them up! I wanted to confront her about it, but a friend told me it could be true ( he's studying graphic design so i thought he might know something about it). Now i really, really regret it tho, since i told her to setup a date when she's absolutely sure she will have time, but i lost all control and now i have no idea when she's going to say anything ( if ever ).
I don't think she's lost interest or is avoiding me since she follows me on instagram and has commented on my most recent picture ~1 week ago.
I must also mention this whole issue started right after she started studying again, which makes it likely that she is busy, but... it's been like 4, 5 dates that she has canceled, first couple time it didn't even bothered me, but now it's just pissing me off.
Am i reading way too much into this? How can someone be this irresponsible? My main idea is for her to set the date so if she cancels this time, i can now confront her and probably dont talk to her again, unless she says something that really convinces me, but how do i regain the control of the situation? because right now im just waiting for a text message that may or may never come. How can i reengage in text messages with her without being seen as pushy or needy? Help pls =/ | Girl is making too many excuses to not go on dates that she is setting up, i need help regaining control. HELP! |
t3_289b07 | relationships | I'm [26 M] bothered that my bf [22 M] of 5 months slept with his best friend in the past | I've (26 M) been dating my bf (22 M) for five months and I'm constantly bothered by one his best friends (24 M). Before we were dating, he told me he slept with his best friend in the past (he told me recently that it was actually twice). I didn't care then because we were just friends, but now that we are dating, it's starting to upset me more and more. It's not just that he slept with one of his friends that bothers me. It bothers me that he slept with *this* particular friend.
I'll be honest: I don't like this guy. He parties non-stop, he does a lot of cocaine and ecstasy (my bf told me would send SnapChats of himself snorting coke) and is VERY promiscuous. Of course, this is his life and I'm not gonna preach to him. We use to be friends beforehand, but then I found out about his wild behavior and I decided that I didn't want him to be in my life. For example, last time when we went clubbing, he took E and broke into a random stranger's car in the parking lot and was digging through someone's purse left in the back seat! I didn't know until I got to there what had happened. He has been friends with my bf for awhile and I don't want to be a controlling jerk and tell my bf who he can and cannot hang out with, but it upsets me that he hangs out with such a low-life. I'm afraid he's gonna be a bad influence on my bf. Recently, my bf let this friend sleep in his room along with the friend's bf and his friend attempted to give his bf a blowjob while drunk while my BF WAS STILL IN THE ROOM!! I was really angry and I told my bf how I felt. He said he understood.
They don't hangout often. I'm guess i'm just unsure as to who my bf really is. he never really gave any reason not to trust him. It's just I don't trust his friend. Am I overreacting? | Am I overreacting to my bf being friend's with someone who he slept with and who I feel is a bad influence? |
t3_l13in | BreakUps | Were we really in love? I just don't know anymore. | I've reached that spot. That spot where you think you're getting over things. And then it all crashes again. And you realize the finality of the breakup. You realize Humpty Dumpty won't be put together again.
Together for almost 5 years. Starting in the final two of college and the years following. Engaged a little over a year and a week ago. Broke up about 3 months ago.
The reason I now question our love. Well it's a lot of things. I was watching her wither...when we first met, she read all the time, wrote all the time, drew these awesome cartoons...and all of that gradually went away...until she did almost nothing but work, browse the internet, play games...
And me, I used to DJ. I'd been meaning to quit smoking for years, mostly for her. And work out more. But I never did. Just work, browse the internet, play games...
If we were really in love, why did we seem to bring out the worst in each other? Why was it so difficult for me to encourage her creativity, and her to encourage my physicality? If we're in love, shouldn't we be trying to improve ourselves, not for ourselves necessarily but for them as well?
We had amazing times together. There is no doubt about that. And we connected on a level I've never connected with anyone else. I've been in love before. But nothing approached the highs, the joys, the happiness of this one.
The week we spent in Hawaii is, without a doubt, the single happiest week of my existence. Far and away.
But was it love? Or just a really great friendship with great sex, but not really true love? Or is thinking of it in terms of "we didn't lift each other up enough" too simplistic? | Shouldn't "true" love make you both better yourselves? Otherwise is it just a great friendship with sex? |
t3_2kxsqc | relationships | I [26f] want my parasitic housemate [30f] to move out. I'm extremely non-confrontational and have no idea how I'll go about the conversation. | My housemate is a mess. She never has enough cash to pay rent, so I have to cover most of it. By the time she pays me back it's pretty much time to pay it again and the cycle continues. Same with bills. I live paycheck to paycheck (and actually earn slightly less than her). She also throws fits all the time about the flat being "untidy" despite the fact that she is the cause of most of the untidiness, due to the fact that she is the one at home most.
I want her gone. Legally, I just need to give her 30 days notice and that's that, but I just don't know how to go about telling her to go. I am very non-confrontational and I have no idea how to go about this. I also know that, if I tell her to leave, she'll lay on a sob-story and I'll back down. | I want my parasite housemate to leave. I'm extremely non-confrontational and have no idea how I'll go about the conversation. |
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