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t3_2bitzc | tifu | TIFU by getting drunk | TIFU (Well actually last night) by getting drunk off some vodka. I was drinking straight out the bottle and got a little out of hand. I was with my brother and cousin until they decided to go to my cousins friends house. I was just chillin, watching some TV and ended up falling asleep on my living room couch. My brother and cousin came back and were hanging outside until my cousin needed to use the bathroom. She came inside to find me with my shorts around my ankles, dick fully exposed, sleeping with the TV still on! She just turned off the TV and went back outside. My brother ended up coming inside to wake me up. I woke up like wtf! I have no idea how my shorts ended up that way! I'm guessing I blacked out and fapped or something haha so I better stay away from vodka for awhile. | I got drunk and fell asleep in my living room with my dick fully exposed, and was found by my cousin and brother! |
t3_1ndcad | relationships | I [26 M] am dating [29 F] sexually but not dating exclusively for 1 month, need your insight. | I began dating her about a month ago after meeting on an online dating site, meaning we had no prior history. During this period of time, things escalated physically rather quickly, already making out by the end of the first date and having sex by the third. Each successive date (now at seven) has culimnated with PIV sex.
She had explained to me very early that she wasn't looking for anything serious. She further stated that due to our interactions, it seemed to her that we were headed towards becoming Fuck Buddies (though this was not my intention.) I told her I understood, though I asked that we agree to be sexually exclusive. I didn't explain the 'why' (STI risks) though she agreed to my request.
We get along very easily and have great rapport. We enjoy conversing and sharing stories, and nearly every joke we make is found utterly hilarious by the other, thus the basis of our relationship can't exactly be said to be primarily seuxally driven.
On our most recent date, I told her I wanted to date her exclusively. She turned me down, saying that it wasn't because she doesn't like me, but because she was really hurt over her last relationship and wasn't completely over it. I asked if she was seeing someone else, to which she replied that she just ended things with a guy she was seeing.
While I understand that she's looking for something casual, the way we interact seems rather typical of a couple. We'll constantly hold hands, cuddle, go out to eat, and act in a manner that would seem to an observer that we're clearly together.
What I want to understand is what is preventing her from wanting to take the next step with me. I wasn't asking her to become my GF, just date only each other. Is it because she's hurt that she hesitates to go to the next level or is it because she wants to simply keep her options open (i.e. waiting for a better guy to come around) | Girl I'm dating agrees to be sexually exclusive but not date exclusively. Our interactions are indicative of a couple, so what's stopping her from going to the next level? |
t3_51muzq | relationships | Is my [18F] boyfriend's [18M] gaming an issue? | My boyfriend really likes games. We have been going out for 3 years.
He doesn't tend to put me off for games (or at least not recently) but the amount he plays concerns me. Sometimes he will play for 20 hours straight staying up overnight. If I say anything or suggest breaks he gets angry and says I'm annoying him. I'm just worried because I've heard of people dying from too much gaming straight. He spends 90% or more of any free time gaming. He doesn't really do anything else while he is alone.
I'm not sure if it's justified for me to care about this because he's usually happy to see me and put time aside for me. I also like games too and we play together sometimes. It just kind of worries me. | boyfriend spends basically all his free time gaming, sometimes doesn't sleep to play games. Worried but he gets annoyed at me. He doesn't put me off for games so not sure if I should care or not. |
t3_2yp8vr | relationships | My (f/23) boyfriend (m/24) is ignoring me and I don't know what to do - together 1.5 years | My boyfriend was acting a bit short and off yesterday so I brought it up with him. He texted back that he was find. Later I asked if he wanted to hang out and he said his friends were coming into the city from a neighboring suburb so he couldn't. This is where I got alarmed. It's not the fact that he wanted to hangout with his friends, but the way he said it. Usually he would have been more friendly about it, but he said it in a way that insinuated that he didn't want me around.
I told him to have fun and asked him to please let me know if I did something wrong. He wrote back that I didn't he just had a rough day. I replied that I was sorry but if he was having a bad day he should talk to me about it, not take it out on me.
He didn't respond for the rest of the night and this morning I asked him to please not ignore me and that he could talk to me if something was wrong. I'm so concerned because this is not how he normally acts. I'm just worried and this is really painful.
Thanks for any suggestions and advace. | my boyfriend was short and unfriendly with me, and now he's been ignoring me. I dont know what to do. |
t3_2ceewi | tifu | TIFU by breaking up with my gf, getting back with her, cheating on her, breaking up with her again, then realizing I'm in love ( or think I am ) with her. | This happened a few months ago. I dated a girl for the shortest time ever, maybe 2 weeks, when I realized things just weren't working out. I was really interested in her and seemed to be more emotionally attached than she was. Perhaps physically attached. I like things like cuddling, and kissing, and she doesn't. She thinks she may be asexual, but I don't think so. She's never really had experience with anybody before. She's always been "dry", as her family would call her.
Anyways, a few weeks in I broke up with her but realized I really liked her and would try to be with her anyways even though she didn't like me complimenting her, or holding hands, ect. I tried to be with her despite it.
About 2 weeks after that it was just getting really difficult to do it. I ended up messing around with another girl. I couldn't handle the guilt and broke up with her the night before a prom-like event where she'd be my date and everyone where we live would obviously know of it. The next day I told her about messing around with the other girl.
Not sure why, but the same thing happened again where I wanted her back. It's been months now and I feel like I'm still in love with her. I think about her every day but she's had to move away for at least a year, and has told me through text theres 0% chance of us getting back together. A part of me is stubborn and thinks I can romeo my way into her heart one day, but thinking about her is fucking up my emotions and studies. | I broke up with ex twice, cheated on her, then realized ( or think I realized) that I'm in love with her and want her back, but wont have her back. |
t3_20vton | relationships | Me [19 M] with my FWB [19 F] She's recently out of a relationship with my best friend... | So I've been friends with my friend and his girlfriend both for about four years now, and they met through me. For the longest time I have greatly enjoyed her company, even to the point of considering her among my few best friends. Due to the fact that she's dated my other best friend for three years now, I have always maintained a strict "off limits" thought, and never thought of anything more than having a hug with her.
Those two broke up about a month and a half ago. About two weeks ago, she came down from college and stayed the weekend at my house. I anticipated a bit of cuddling and watching movies. It quickly went from that, to hardcore making out, etc etc, everything short of sex (and that's already being planned). I was completely shocked when it happened, but it felt natural.
Come to find out, she's still having sex with her ex, and I'll be honest, I really don't know how to feel about it all. That was his first girlfriend, and the breakup was mutual, with no hurt feelings really, they just realized that they really just didn't have anything in common. I understand why they still are, and I'm glad he is at least being cheered up by it, but I just feel...not as important I guess.
Should I feel this way? Should I try and make it a point of "Him or me"? or Should I just let it pass, and be glad someone is finally paying attention to me... | Best friends ex, also long time friend, is now my FWB and still having sex with ex at same time. How should I feel? |
t3_4f7y8a | Advice | Let's try this again: So how should a girl be friends with other girls when every time a girl meets another girl she's untrustworthy? | I had tried to make a post stating why in my situation I'm not friends with girls, and I only got one helpful response and my OP was down voted to 40%. Why, I wish someone would tell me why because I explained a perfectly clear background as to why I'm not friends with girls because every time I turn my back for one second she's trying to hit on my boyfriend.
Do people have actual advice on this besides responses looking to get a reaction? I appreciate those who had actual responses, though (only one person was helpful), but love how the down voters don't even bother to comment except for one and they hide behind his comment!
You never explained why it was "trolling" to say I wish I had a girl to be there to check up on me for girls night out but I don't have girls night out because I'm not friends with many girls.
???????????????????????
I saw the rude poster respond to another post, but I knew he read my comment, I asked him why the part he highlighted was "trolling" and he didn't elaborate. I'm waiting.
Instead of down voting me every time I respond to your snotty ass remarks, how about say something if you're going to come at someone? | So how should some girls who want to be friends with other girls proceed when most times I get to know a girl she always tries to hit on my boyfriend? |
t3_lcpj0 | AskReddit | Hey reddit, can you cheer me up? | I don't want it to be a sob story, but basically I had a shit night. Long story short, there was this girl that I fell for way too hard and things never went well (we were basically best friends but never anything else and it sucked), she went away and not seeing her helped me get over it, but tonight I saw her at an event with a bunch of other people. She was excited to see me, and then blew me off to talk to another guy (that she doesn't know that well) and ignore me. I don't know why but it hit me hard and it hurts. Anyway, I doubt you care about my petty problems, but I was just hoping for some jokes, or funny pictures or videos, something. Thanks guys :( | Stupid problems hit me harder than they should have, I could use a little cheering up with something funny, or nice. |
t3_4dzsw4 | Parenting | Why milk? | When I weaned my first kid off breastmilk, I asked her pediatrician whether I could skip introducing cow's milk to her daily diet. She would still have yogurt and cheese and milk sometimes, just not every day. She never took a bottle except on the few times that I pumped. He didn't bat an eye, said it wasn't really necessary so long as I provided her with a balanced diet. So I did. At 3, she's bright and thriving and loves veggies, fish, falafel - whatever. She drinks milk sometimes, like with cookies or cereal. Sometimes she just asks for a glass. We buy the full fat organic kind.
Anyway, people find it strange that I never gave her milk! And that I am not giving it to my second, either.
"But how does she get to sleep at night?" (Bath & book routine.)
"But doesn't she miss/want the comfort of a warm bottle?" (I don't know.)
Does anyone else not give their kids warm milk at bedtime? I'm not anti-dairy or even anti-milk. And I didn't "substitute" with almond or soy, either. Just nada. | I don't give my kids warm milk at bedtime (for no good reason) and people find it weird. |
t3_2ycgmr | offmychest | I really don't get this girl. | Some of the shit I see on Facebook is like wtf, so these people are allowed to be assholes to people and get away with it, but if someone is an asshole to them, they think they're the victims.
This one woman cheats on every person she has ever dated. I would have thought by now that she would have grown up especially when she got married, nope cheated on him too, didn't matter if she was married.
And now she's saying he's the asshole when she was the one who cheated and from what I've seen on Facebook they appear to have a "good" relationship. He would always buy her nice things, in fact just bought her some expensive tables or was it a brand new grandfather clock? So she had it pretty good with him and she cheated on him.
After they broke up I went to his page, and he was calling her once a cheater always a cheater and on her page she's saying he's the asshole. I know this girl more than I know that guy and I never liked the girl because of the fact that she always cheats on every single person she ever dates and she's the one who gets to date people while I'm still sitting here dateless when I would never cheat on anyone.
So I think it's something she did, and she has the nerve to say her ex-husband is the worst person on earth when she is the one who cheated on him. I haven't spoken to her in years, but when I get bored I'll look up people's facebook and it never ceases to amaze me how some people are still in the same spot, same drama, same he said she said years later.
Well I guess since it's not my problem, I don't have to deal with it, but I feel sorry for these wannabe victims that people have to deal with and they bring it upon themselves. When will they wake up and realize they're the problems, not the people they like to call "assholes." | Reading her shit, and knowing what she did just angers me how she calls other people assholes when she's the one who cheated. |
t3_2arlqf | legaladvice | I'm 19 and just crashed a forklift into a support beam at my warehouse job. | I'm a 19 year old college student, and I am working over the summer at a rim distribution center. Well today was my definite worst day at the job, I crashed our tow motor/forklift into a support beam (wood) and completely broke it from its foundation. I am not sure what will happen as for the damage to the beam, but what can I expect? I have no certificate saying I am allowed to drive the lift, and they did not issue a drug test following the accident, no one was hurt. They pretty much just said from day one that I should be fine if I can drive a car. | I crashed a forklift at work, I have no certificate stating I can drive it, what is going to happen to me? |
t3_h9kc6 | AskReddit | Turned 18 the other day and bought some snus... | Alright, so i turned 18 the other day and decided i wanted to try tobacco, now, my parents are smokers and i cannot stand that shit (i tried smoking once and hated myself for it) my uncle uses dip, i have also tried that and thought it tasted horrible, so i was wary about getting snus, so far i have used only 2 packets (i got marborol original) , and i have to say, this isnt all that bad. i feel a slight numbness every now and then, and maybe a little taste here and there which isnt as near as bad as dip. i put my snus on the left back part of my gums and i hardly notice it. So i was wondering, whats the best brand of snus? what "flavor" tastes best? would menthol be preferable to original? what are your experiences with snus? | tried cigarettes, hated them. tried dip, hated it. tried snus, found it enjoyable. would like to hear your experiences with it! |
t3_1xes9m | relationships | I [22M] have feelings for a friend [24F] of a couple months and I think she likes me back, how do I bring up/ask if we are going to make this serious? | So, a quick little back story about myself first I guess.
In highschool (and now too I guess haha) I was clueless about whether a girl liked me or not so I never made any advances because I'd rather stay friends without it getting awkward if she didn't like me, had a couple of them tell me they liked me about a couple months or year later (ouch).
Fast forward to now and I meet this girl, I've known her for couple months now and finally got the courage to ask her to movies (because a friend of mine told me he thought she liked me) then about a week later we go out for coffee/hang out for couple hours.
I'm thinking she likes me but how do I bring up/ask if we are going to make this serious, or if we are already on that track. With VDay coming up she might want to take it slow, she doesn't seem to like romantic things from things she's mentioned and maybe she just doesn't want to rush into a relationship.
Like I mentioned before I don't want to make it awkward if she just wants to be friends as opposed to a couple. | How do I bring up/ask if we are going to make this serious, or if we are already on that track, without it sounding like I want to rush things. |
t3_objme | AskReddit | How do YOU pay it forward? | I have this thing that I do to brighten other peoples' days: I "lose" money so they can find it.
I'll take a dollar bill and leave it lying around in some random place where you wouldn't expect to find money: in the sink in a public bathroom, nestled in among the tomatoes at the supermarket, tucked into the napkin dispenser at a fast-food restaurant – places like that.
I like thinking of the little thrill the other person feels when they find it, knowing that I created a tiny little bright spot in their day, a moment that they'll remember. Because let's face it, who doesn't like finding money?
I'm usually not around to see the results, which is part of the fun for me, but I did get to see one of my dollars be found at the airport baggage claim once. I had dropped a dollar on the baggage carousel and I watched as it made its way around, going past a dozen people before a little girl who was probably 5 or 6 years old spotted it.
She was standing there with her parents, bored out of her mind, and her whole face lit up when she saw the dollar coming. She darted forward and snatched it up, then ran back to show it to her mother, pointing back to where she had gotten it. I could read her gestures as she told how it had *"Just come out of nowhere and showed up right there in front of me!!!"*
I definitely made that little girl's day, and she'll probably always remember the time she found a dollar at the airport. It made my day, too, and I still smile remembering it. Two days made, two memories made -- all that, for just a dollar. I think I got my money's worth.
Does anyone else do little things like this?
( | I "lose" dollar bills so other people can be happy when they find them. What do you do?) |
t3_2m1w4r | tifu | TIFU by creeping on Tinder | Hi there. Long time Tinder horndog first time OP.
I've been talking to a girl on Tinder for about a week, so I've successfully made it through the semi interesting small talk needed to keep her successfully enticed until the date we have planned for tomorrow night.
I was getting a little bored and started thumbing through Tinder when I noticed her profile had her Instagram user name. So I think, "Why not?" and look her up to check out some more pictures. While searching through her pictures I notice one of her and a guy. Curious whether or not this guy was a past boyfriend or family, I clicked it to see the comments. The photo was a year old and was of her and her ex at a costume party.
Being new to Instagram, I thought what turned out to be a notification (a little pop up that looked like a heart) was the symbol that meant I liked the photo. So I panic and start tapping the heart rapidly to unlike it, unintentionally liking it and unliking it over and over. I've read from multiple sources that the user receives notifications for each like. Pretty sure she thinks I was stalking her. I haven't had a message from her since. | I went onto the Instagram of a girl who I've only talked to on Tinder, and liked an picture of her and her ex boyfriend accidentally. |
t3_2hod8r | relationships | Me [20/F] with my friend/fwb [20/F], We're so inexperienced that we don't know how to kiss or even begin to. | I am a lesbian, and so is my friend. We've tried to date before but neither are interested in a proper relationship right now.
We are both inexperienced with intimacy- neither have been in a relationship before, mostly due to being in the closet in high school.
We're both ready and willing to hook up, and actually attempted to yesterday, but we hit a roadblock: We don't know how the fuck to do *anything*. We both got as far as repeatedly pecking on the lips but we can't figure the next move. It just seems so silly.
I feel like we've missed out on some of the most important formative years in dating an sexuality and I'm pretty lost. | me and my potential friend with benefits don't know how to kiss, OR move past the awkwardness of the first try. Help? |
t3_2q25iv | relationships | Me [22 F] with my GF [24 F] 3 years, we broke up and then got back together but it's not the same. | My SO and I had been dating for just over 3 years. When we broke up I was really upset but we both needed it at that point in our lives, a break was good.
Soon after she went out one night and started dating an acquaintance of ours. She was completely honest and told me. This was maybe a month after we broke up. At that point I was over it and said it was okay, I still love her and just want her to happy.
The whole time I was still in contact with my ex we work in the same building and have the same friends. Then maybe a month into my SOs new relationship they broke up.
After a while we started getting playful again and I realised I still had feelings for her. Sounds stupid now ofc the feelings were still there but I thought I was over her. We spoke and decided to get back together.
I don't feel the way I felt before the breakup and for me, I feel like what we have now is a weird just casual even though we are exclusive. I don't know if this feeling will go away and right now if I'm just scared of getting hurt or if I have really moved on and was just reminiscing on the past when we got together again.
When we hang out it's still great. She is an amazing, beautiful woman and in bed it's still amazing! So I'm not sure why I feel this way and if I'm being a jerk to her by not ending it or telling her. | Broke up with SO. Get back together 2 months later. It doesn't feel the same even though nothing has changed in our relationship, hanging out still great, sex is still great. Don't know what to make of it. |
t3_4zfk0a | legaladvice | [CA] Leaving a shared house with a group lease and security deposit, angry landlord and angry roommates. | Hi r/legaladvice,
I'm posting this on behalf of a friend of mine, who currently lives in a house with three roommates, they are all on the same group lease.
My friend has decided to move when the lease ends in around a month, she's informed her roommates and landlord a while back so everybody is well aware and can take necessary measures if they are moving out etc. Her roommates have decided to stay in the house after she leaves, have not found a replacement roommate yet and from what I understand they kind of blame her for their individual portion of the rent going up.
She's now trying to figure out how to get her portion of the security deposit back (approximately a thousand dollars), and her land lord has told her that she needs to figure it out with her roommates. She's tried - but her roommates are again rather angry and uncooperative.
Can someone please reaffirm or correct my understanding that the landlord is the party that has to reimburse her, and in turn the roommates have to pay any additional security deposit to the landlord when they resign their lease?
The relevant part of the security deposit section of her lease agreement states - "Within 21 days of date of possession is delivered to Owner, Owner shall refund the entire security deposit to Resident (or in the case of Co-Residents, to the last remaining Co-Resident), or if deductions have been made itemized list" yadayada
Also... there's this paragraph which I found interesting: "In the event of any legal action by the parties arising out of this agreement, each party to pay their own attorney fees and cost."
Tension is kind of high all around - she doesn't want to piss off her landlord too much in case the landlord takes it out on her roommates, she's not on the best of terms with her roommates which is one of the reasons why she's leaving. | Four people sign a group lease, one decides to leave at the end of lease. How do you get the security deposit back? |
t3_2nnjw2 | tifu | TIFU by not reviewing my college app before submitting it | TIFU.
Some backstory. It was thanksgiving break and cousins came to visit. I was trying to finish my college applications before the thanksgiving day. My cousin who was in college sat next to me and was trying to help. After I was tired with filling pages and pages of personal information, I decided that I want to skip to the end of the application- the additional comments section.
My cousin thought that it would be funny if I put a corny joke there and delete it later. The joke I ended up choosing was:
Why was the scarecrow promoted?
*because he was outstanding in his field*
I went back to filling out my application. By the time I was done, it was already 2am in the morning. Tired af, I pressed the submit button and paid the shitload of application fee.
The next morning comes and my familiar was congratulating me on submitting my application. All is well until dinner time, when my cousin asked me if I deleted the joke. I realized what I've done and shouted "fuck" really loudly. In the middle of family dinner. Surrounded by kids under the age of 10.
This can go 2 ways: either the admissions officer is humorous and thought that I was special, or the admissions officer is an old fart who thinks that I'm not serious about college.
Shit. Will keep you guys updated if you are interested. | Submitted a corny joke along with my college app. Dropped the f bomb in front of young children. Hopefully colleges still want me. |
t3_3hjo19 | relationships | My [20] GF [25] 2 years is inviting friend to stay over at her house for a few days to visit. Justifiably concerned? | We've been together for quite a while and I truly love this girl and I know she feels the same way. She's been friends with this guy, we'll call him Jim for a longer time than I've known her. However, I don't think she's seen him in quite some time and I don't really know anything about him. As of now, our relationship is long distance due to school and she let me know today that she might invite her friend over to stay a few days while her parents are gone for 2 weeks. This would require him to travel quite a ways just to hang out with her, and stay at her house in a spare room.
I feel uneasy about this, not because I don't trust her but because I find it somewhat odd that someone who lives so far away who hasn't seen her in years would be sleeping in a room right next to her. Am I being insecure or am I justified in feeling concerned? She didn't ask me how I felt about it, and I don't know if she really needs to ask for my permission but I feel like I need to talk to her about it. I just don't want to have an argument about trust because I feel as though she wouldn't be too comfortable if I traveled from state to state and stayed over at another woman's house who I haven't seen in years. Help would be appreciated, thanks. | Girlfriend may invite male friend who lives far away to stay at her house for a few days. I feel uncomfortable about it, am I wrong for being concerned? |
t3_4oj3k5 | AskDocs | Could kegel exercises have caused erectile dysfunction? (X-post r/sex) | I'm 28M. For the last 8 months, I have had no sex drive or feelings of arousal and I haven't been able to figure out exactly why. It happened suddenly in the beginning of October. It was like someone flipped a light switch and it was just gone.
Working with my doctor, we initially thought it was just depression. I'd had major life changes within the couple months before this happened. Good changes, but still incredibly big ones. So it seemed like the disruption might've affected me that way. But it's 8 months out now, things have settled, and here I am still.
Around the time this happened, I had started trying to do the kegels and reverse kegels routine that I hadn't done for a year and a half. I would hold for 30 seconds, release for 30 seconds, and then hold the reverse for 30 second followed by another 30 second break, then repeat. I only did one or two sessions like this before I lost my sex drive, but I did them for extended periods of about half an hour. I never felt any pain before or after the libido disappeared, but I'm still concerned about the possibility of damaging something, and all the emotions I've been feeling are coming from the feelings of inadequacy that I've read can follow erectile dysfunction.
It just feels like something inside me is missing. I haven't been able to feel aroused. I haven't been able to feel excitement or enthusiasm about things I'd otherwise enjoy, not just sex. I've been able to have erections, sometimes long lasting ones during foreplay and sex. But other times I may get an erection that just doesn't last at all. Or I lose focus and can't get it back.
At this point, I guess I just want to see if I can rule out the possibility that kegel exercises caused damage leading to erectile dysfunction. And if they did, what the options would be to treat that.
Thank you in advance for any and all help. | I lost my sex drive 8 months ago and I want to know if I might've done damage by doing kegel exercises. |
t3_2ei39m | relationships | A little different type post. Me [19 M] and my best friend [19 M] share everything together. But I cannot tell him this... (no, we're not gay, it about his girl- and what he doesn't know about her) | I love my best friend! But I hate the girl he likes. Ever since the first day I met her, I have hated her. She just seemed like a fucking cunt and I told my friend that.
He didn't listen because he is too ignorant and was too brainwashed with her looks. I know her type and it is manipulative.
Well I won't bore you with my ultimate hatred for her. Long story short. My friend doesn't do anything sexual with her. He just tells me the shit they do and it may be close to sex, but never sex. She is just using him. Do you know how I actually know that this time? I made mutual friends.
I befriended a few of the people she hangs around with. And GUESS WHAT. She sleeps around constantly. And my best friend is her fucking boy toy! I have told him she fucked some other dudes. He got mad at me and didn't believe me.
Then he came to the realization that it could be true but then he came to his own opinion of not caring about the past. And "to focus on the future." I told him the past makes us who we are. He still decided on his viewpoint.
His stories of her versus her and my mutual friends stories are so different. I don't understand why she acts like she isn't who she really is with my friend. (she says the opposite of what she does) and my friend believes it.
Evidentially she is very moody and annoying at times but he thinks he loves her. I know it will kill him if I somehow find a way to make him believe me and tell him what she is really like.
How can I tell him? What do I do? I don't want to risk our relationship. We got pissed at each other when I told him about what she may or may not done with other guys before. And now this? And I know it's true this time...? Fuck. | do I tell my friend the girl he really is hooked on is a whore who acts like just a moody teenager with him but no one else. Or do I kee the truth from him? |
t3_1ix94l | relationships | Me [23M] and my girlfriend [23F] of 3 months just broke up, but we have been friends for 3 years. What to do? | Our first 2 months of dating were absolutely joyous and we both had a great deal of passion in the relationship. I was living 3 hours away from her in a beautiful town but was planning to move to the same city as her from before we started dating. She would visit me often and take beautiful hikes, and I would do likewise and adventure around the city with her. After the move, everything was great for a week, then she suddenly started to get stressed out by responsibilities and I frequently was only able to attempt assisting her in relieving stress (which usually worked). We continued to spend a lot of happy time together, but I could tell something was eating her up inside, and finally she told me that something was making her unhappy that she couldn't figure out.
We met in a park and discussed it finally in depth. She said that she had considered living the rest of her life with me and it all seemed beautiful, children, traveling the world, everything. And that she wanted me and wanted to be with me, but that something was holding her back that she couldn't understand. So needless to say, the relationship is over.
My trouble is, I value her greatly as a friend and have a hard time building up trust in people due to my previous experiences with women who I get close to. I am an extremely forgiving person, and I respect her greatly for coming to me in honesty before hurting me deeply down the road. It would be really nice to not lose her as a trusted companion.
I just need to know, is it unhealthy for me to continue talking to her, and seaking her counsel, and being her friend? We have known eachother as friends for 3 years, and now I think she is one of my closest friends. Any advice would be helpful, I will try to be responsive to any questions. | Girlfriend of 3 months and I broke up, not too messy, but I really value her friendship (friends of 3 years). Is it okay for me to try and maintain it? |
t3_2p4wkm | relationship_advice | WAITERS AND WAITRESS OF REDDIT: I'm a 27/m dating a 23/f waitress and I need some perspective | so my girlfriend works as a waitress at a popular sports bar, she's fairly petite and very beautiful. earlier today she was telling me about her shift last night, and just before she has to leave she tells me about a job offer a customer gave her last night. One of her 'regulars' told her that his office assistant just quit, and he thinks she would be a good fit. He said it pays $50/hr.
i know my perspective is biased; i'm her boyfriend, i know how guys act when they're trying to pick up girls, and i know waitresses are common targets for that sort of attention. but even taking that into account, this shit sounds shady to me... first off she's worked there less than a year, so this guy isn't that much of a 'regular'. second, she's got no experience working in an office. and third, $50 an hour? she's 23 and this waitress job is pretty much the first legit job she's had. I don't want to offend her, cause the truth is shes a fucking great employee and a really hard worker, but promising girls money is such a see-through tactic and one of the most played out tricks there is. in my experience people don't offer $90k/yr jobs, unprompted, with very little knowledge about the prospective employee.
so what do you think? is this a middle-aged guy, just trying to hit on a hot young waitress? or could it be a legit job offer? | 23y/o girlfriend is hot and works at a bar, guy offers her a job making $50/hr working in his office. is it legit or creeper tactic? |
t3_1k0et7 | AskReddit | How do I change from having the 'best of intentions' to actually following through and completing something when it comes to my wife? | I'm married. I have an amazing wife that takes care of most things. I find myself working. Working a lot. It's what my father did. It's what my grandfather did. I don't know much past that, but I understand hard work.
When my wife has one on one time with me, I can knock everything out. I think I get so caught up in neglecting her that I tell her I'll do something, something that is needed. Something I notice. This is a task she can easily do, and if I do it, I'm such a hero.
That sounds perfect before I go to sleep. The next morning is a different animal. I wake up, instantly start working. I can work for 15 hours + straight.
I work for myself. The more I bill, the more I make. When I step away from work, everything is wonderful. I can't even stop working to feed the dogs sometimes.
I hold my urine in for 10 hours at a time. I will just sit at my desk and tell myself 20 more minutes, 1 more hour, just wait until you finish this.
Just recently these are the examples.
I will change the sheets. - Why would I say that? because the sheets are so tight on the bed that they are giving me back issues. What do I do? Work all day and night and not fix it. Just work so hard that you fall asleep when you hit the bed.
I will cut the grass for you. - Why would I say that? because I never do it. She always does. It is totally awesome. I'm guessing that is worth an extra $100/month for us to have the money, instead of paying someone. I don't know. I didn't do it, that would cause me to be too far away from the computer. And I'm not able to bill someone for that time.. | I don't follow through on my chores I choose for myself. How do I start doing them/wanting to do them: |
t3_2dg3to | relationships | My [21 F] ex-boyfriend [21 M] broke up in May after 1 year together. Neither of us are happy, sign we should get back together? | He broke up with me, but after a long and complicated process of breaking up. It got to the point where it was sort of mutual, but I very openly pined for him during June after we had officially broken up.
The reasons were personal to him. He didn't feel like he could put energy into a relationship anymore, it wasn't making him happy. But we were temporarily long distance, so part of me feels like he just didn't want to put the energy into skyping and emailing, and I certainly was demanding a lot from him.
Neither of us have gotten involved in any way (except minimal flirting) with other people. We've both been depressed all summer long (which he told me). He continues to claim to his friends, not me though, that "he has no idea what he's doing."
I've been doing an internship about 2 hours away from him since I returned from studying abroad in June.
In less than 2 weeks, we'll be back in our college town for school. We've been NC for 3 weeks now.
This is both of our first serious relationship and break up. We love(d) eachother very much, he still told me he loved me after we broke up. I hope, but can't latch on too hard to it, that once we're back in the same place we can work things out. The time and emotional space apart could have been a really good thing.
I guess I just thought that when you break up, after 3 months one of you should be happy again and proud of your decision. Neither of us are. I want to talk to him once school starts again, but I'm afraid of getting rejected and having my heart broken again.
I've learned a lot in these past 3 months and seen what I could have done better in the relationship. I KNOW I would be a much better partner this time around. | Broke up 3 months ago, both of us are still depressed. If we were happier together, does that mean getting back together is a good idea? |
t3_33akmb | relationships | My (20s F) coworker (60s F) is upset because I and my other coworker (30s M) did not get her a birthday card. We want to make it up to her by getting her a card and gift but I am having trouble wording it. Help? | I'll try to keep this as brief as possible and I apologize if this subreddit isn't the correct place to post this but I've seen great advice given here before.
My coworker of about 2 years Jane's birthday was a few weeks ago. She was on vacation the entire week of her birthday. Our jobs have been extremely stressful and busy within the past couple months because we are going through a large transition. Although we all wished her Happy Birthday on her birthday though texts and Facebook, we unfortunately forgot to get her a gift as time passed because of how busy we have all been.
My boss did bring up the fact we did not take her out for lunch (which we usually do for everyone's birthdays) and we had planned to go out Friday, but stuff came up and the lunch was moved to today. This morning she confronted my other coworker Dave and said she needed to get something off her chest. She was upset that we did not get her anything when she came back from vacation because she would have if the roles had been reversed.
He apologized to her and then later emailed me explaining what she said. Although I think this situation is a little juvenile and if it was me, I wouldn't care about getting gifts (especially if I was on vacation all week), we want to keep the peace in our small office. We bought her a candle and a gift card. I am having trouble finding words to write in the card though. I want to keep it simple without sounding too cold / unsympathetic. I was hoping to get some advice on what to say. Thank you all in advance! | My coworker and I forgot to get a card and gift for my other coworkers birthday. Having trouble wording an apology to put in the card. |
t3_526b34 | relationships | How do I [20f] breakup with my boyfriend [22m]? Outgrew relationship and have never broken up with anyone before | I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We met in undergrad college and have a pretty good relationship. I'm just not sure the relationship is for me anymore and I've outgrown it. While we have a good time, our relationship is based on our college experience and mutual friends. We don't have that much in common when it comes down to it and now that he's moved away 8 hours for graduate school (we have been LDR since June, the summer + start of the school year) I'm really starting to feel the distance.
We also want different things in life. Over the summer I took a language course abroad, lived in another country, and traveled. As cheesy as it is, travel changed my perspective on things and exploring what's out there in the world. I am very naturally curious and my boyfriend thrives staying in his comfort zone.
6 months ago we had talked about marriage further down the line and the idea really excited me, but in the past 2 months I really have come to be unsure and question the idea of longevity with him. It makes it difficult because he is/was my first love and long term relationship and he's done nothing wrong. He's incredibly kind and sweet. I just feel like I have outgrown the relationship and changed/grown in a different direction the past couple months. I still care a lot about him but I don't think it's fair to stay in a relationship with someone who you don't feel the same for.
I am going to visit in 2 weeks and planning to do it then. I have no experience breaking up or ending a relationship, so how can I go about this in the best way possible? Is this a normal thing that sometimes happens to people in their 20's? Ideally I would like to keep in touch and be casual friends. He has a lot going on in his home life right now and I would like to be there and continue to be a supportive friend. | Need help/advice on ending my first relationship of about 2 years because I feel like I've outgrown the relationship/grown in a different direction than my boyfriend |
t3_31l8cd | relationship_advice | Nice guy [20m] who likes long relationships currently can only pursue short ones, HALP | So I'm mainly wondering how others may have gotten over this situation. So most people peg me as a relationship guy, as in girls date me but they rarely hook up with me. To be fair I really enjoy talking, doing relationship things and generally being a cutesy boyfriend. I'm not worried about getting another girlfriend or anything but I'm currently working for a year in a different city. So since I attract relationship girls its hard to explain to them that I'm going and I want things to not be too serious. And secondly since im the dumbass I am, I always push the relationship further by wanting to do couple activities and generally making things more serious, e.g. talking about life and getting to understand each other better.
I've already been pseudo dumped cause she felt like she was going to fall for me and didn't want to hurt herself (which I respect) but it doesn't change that I'm still kinda lonely. On another date and she said she only did long term on the first day so we are just friends now.
Point is I can survive this year being kinda lonely, or trying to be a fling guy (I'm pretty bad at it) but wanted to know if anyone has had this problem or if I'm an odd duck. | I'm a long term relationship specialist, who is here for only 1 year, hard to be a fling guy. |
t3_3bxc9j | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] Unsure whether to break up with my girlfriend because of her relationship with her ex's | I have been seeing a girl for 5 or 6 months now. We have been getting along great and both agreed we feel something different about eachother than past relationships.
The thing is, she has had multiple other boyfriends. She has been my first girlfriend and actually the first girl I have had sex with. I have been with other girls sexually, but have actually not have had sex with them due to personal reasons.
She maintains friendships with her ex's to what I am finding an uncomfortable level with me. One of her ex's had an ugly breakup with her where he ended up raping her the same day they broke up. Somehow she forgave him and she even visited him across the country earlier this year with another friend, while we were starting to date, which really bothered me. I trust she didn't sleep with him, but I am still uncomfortable with her even associating with him. She has another ex that she has had on and off relationships with for the past few years, and she stays in contact with him. One night he was drunk texting her saying he was about to drive home drunk and she was in tears and just focussed on him and his safety rather than enjoying her time with me.
Whenever I bring up how these things bother me, she says she wishes I could understand but that she thinks I cant because I havent had past relationships. She says she prefers to forgive people and maintain friendships because it is healthier to put a positive spin on things.
We had an argument about it the other day, which is the only time we have ever had an argument. Ultimately it boiled down to me disapproving of her friendship with the rapist ex boyfriend and her saying that I will never understand and she wishes I would. | Girlfriend is still friends with rapist ex and worries about the wellbeing of other ex when she is with me. Time to dump? |
t3_tkenf | self | I just need to vent about college and my family/town. | I go to school in a city (east coast) that is far away from my hometown (the midwest). My hometown is very small, so this college choice did not go over well with a lot of people, which they made sure to let me know. They just couldn't understand why I would want to leave my family/friends/town/whatever.
Turns out that the first semester of college wasn't great, so I decided to transfer. After that news spread like wildfire and people were overcome with irrational joy because I would once again be in the vicinity, second semester was a lot better than first and I decided to stay at my old school. Now it's summer and time to break the news to everyone that I'm going back east in August.
So far, it's been a right shitshow. I haven't stopped hearing everyone's opinion on going so far away again, and I'm tired of it. I'm going. That's it. They are not going to change my mind. I just don't understand why people can't just leave me alone (Yes, I realize that I sound selfish, but I can't help it). I get that maybe I got their hopes up when I talked about transferring, but that's not happening anymore. There have been a couple of people who are happy for me, but the majority are very vocal about their displeasure. I hate having to stand there while they give me their thoughts about how I'm making a stupid choice or am crazy or whatever. I'm just done dealing with it and I haven't even been home a week. Has anyone else gone through this? What did you say to people who lectured you about leaving? And what happens when those people are most of your town and family? | I'm going far away to college again and people are not amused, which they make sure to let me know. That's basically it. I just needed to vent/maybe get suggestions of how to deal with the situation. |
t3_eaxdj | AskReddit | Gift Ideas for my Nerdy Boyfriend | Hello Reddit. My boyfriend is an avid Redditor. He probably spends more time on here than he spends sleeping. So I thought this would be a good place to ask advice on unique Christmas gifts for him.
Here are some things he likes/has:
-Bio: He is 22. White Male. A student at a State University and an IT guy. Lives in an apartment, technically alone, but I'm there as much as a roommate would be.
-Video Games: He has | Nerdy boyfriend, interests include technology and gaming. What's something cool to get him for Christmas that he might not have thought of himself? |
t3_tlbhn | loseit | Does this make me a bad person? | For the last year and a half, my cousin who I see typically on holidays or special occasions has been dogging me about my weight. He'd always make some off hand joke with our family. It never really bothered me since I always did the same to him, usually about him being an effeminate joke of a man.
Anyway, back on topic, I haven't seen him since I decided I'd start dieting and exercising. That is, until today. We all got together to celebrate Mother's Day, and let me say this- all of the weight I lost, he gained. He packed on a *ton* of weight. After everyone finished congratulating me on the weight I've lost and how different I look, we sat down for lunch. After the conversation died down a bit, I stood up and said, "Cousin, I just wanted to say, 'Thank you.' Not just for you inspiring me to lose weight by constantly ragging on me, but also for being so kind and finding it all for me." I thought he was going to cry. Apparently I hit a nerve. | My cousin always ragged on me about my weight, I saw him today and he'd gained 30-40 lbs. I thanked him for finding the weight I lost. |
t3_4sld7w | relationships | My [29M] girlfriend [25F] of 2yrs is neglecting her hygiene severely, and I can't stand it | My girlfriend's poor hygiene has been causing, or at least exacerbating, problems with her vaginal area. I'm not looking for a diagnosis or anything, but I'm concerned because she hasn't been acknowledging it as a problem. She has complained of the issue for so long, I'm talking about months here, that I started to suspect she was making things up. She wasn't.
The main issue is that she refuses to see a doctor. She has health insurance and transportation, so that isn't holding her back. Her biggest defense as to why she hasn't yet is because she hasn't been able to "mentally prepare herself" for having a stranger examine her. I understand that kind of anxiety, but at the same time it blows my mind. It's her freakin' body, man. She only gets one of those, so why would she or anyone else risk damaging it?
Consequently, we no longer have a sex life. This is an issue that wasn't a problem initially, but after 4+ months it's starting to get to me. Especially since it is a health issue that she (more than likely) has control over. An issue that was out of her control, such as chronic disease or something, would be understandable. I could live with that since I'm satisfied with the relationship in general. But, this is totally getting to me and has become something that is causing me to lose respect for her. Especially since I am so damn attracted to her. Now I'm spending less time with her because of sexual frustration, and I feel guilty about that.
I guess this issue has as much to do with me and my emotions as it does her. In fact, I'm kind of pissed at myself for being so pissed off about it. But, it *is* a problem and I'm not sure how I want, or need, to deal with this.
What are your opinions? What would you do? Is there a deeper issue here that I'm missing or just not acknowledging? | My girlfriend isn't taking care of herself in a way that I feel is appropriate, and it's causing me more distress than I want to admit. Wat do? |
t3_1fwzs6 | pettyrevenge | Ruined evil stepmother's secret stash of pretzels | My stepmother, who was extremely verbally abusive to my older sister and I in the past, who I've always had issues with (too much to explain for this post), was sitting with me in her living room one day, and told me about her hidden stash of honey wheat pretzels. She let me have a few, then stopped me after having a small handful, saying to save her some.
I didn't plan on eating more, but the sheer fact that she felt that she *needed* to tell me to stop eating angered me. This made me furious, due to past incidents like this, and due to the hypocritical nature of things (she would have gone ballistic if I had done the same to her). She continued shoveling handful after handful of pretzels into her mouth.
While we were sitting on the sofa with her bag of pretzels, the neighbor comes over to talk to my stepmother. My stepmother goes outside to speak to the neighbor, leaving the bag on the sofa. I got up to use the bathroom; however, as I got up, the bag caught onto my jean shorts and spilled onto the floor, where the dog usually slept. In the heat of the moment, I took this opportunity to consciously and righteously spread the pretzels around on the dirty floor with my feet. I put them back in the bag quickly, and acted like nothing happened. I cackled in a sinister way at the evil deed I had just committed. She comes back in, and continues eating them like nothing happened. | Stepmom treats sister and I like complete shit for years. Accidentally spilled stepmom's favorite pretzels on floor, then purposely rubbed my feet all over them, and put them back in the bag. |
t3_4eto85 | askwomenadvice | Trying to find out I'm just crazy or jealous | My bestie/roommate is pissed at me because I don't like her new boyfriend because I see red flags that she doesn't see. I have been rude to him on purpose because I really want nothing to do with him. She thinks I should be happy for because she's happy after being with a douche bag, but I mean she barely knows this guy and he's already her bf. When I started dating my current bf she was not supportive she wasn't happy for me at all. I've gone through all her relationship ups and downs with her ex and it was so draining it actually caused damage to our friendship.
I'm glad she found someone that is treating her better and makes her happy but I am so sick of hearing about it so sick of how lovey and gushy she is with basically a stranger and how she demands that I like him when she put no effort in with my bf. But I'm supposed to wit hers? | am I crazy for not wanting to be involved in this new relationship and not wanting to hear about it? Am I being a bad friend? |
t3_fer1z | AskReddit | German college student studying in the U.S, facing Visa status change/possible return to Germany without a home. I'm in desperate need of help/advice on what to do. Anyone able to help? | I am a 20 year old college student from Germany. I have lived in the states since 2004 on an E-2 visa(dependent). I will no longer be able to be a dependent once I'm 21(May). My dad's employer has filed a Green Card application for him but that can still take several years, not to mention the actual application to include myself would take even longer. (We're currently awaiting a response to the I-140 in order to submit the I 485 but the Immigration Services are still processing requests from 2005.)
The lawyer that we are working with is recommending an F-1 student visa but I may not qualify for it. Even if I was to qualify for it the tuition rate would skyrocket and almost triple, which I, or my family would not be able to afford.
Without turning this into a sob story I would be royally screwed if I had to go back. I don't have reliable residence in Germany and I would have a sub par education. Basically there's a chance of me ending up unemployed and on the streets.
I'm scheduled to meet with an international adviser at my college on Monday but the uncertainty of all of this is killing me.
Has anyone on Reddit ever dealt with something similar? Or does anyone know where to turn to for better information or advice on avoiding the possible scenarios?
Any suggestions or advice are greatly appreciated. | Visa is expiring, may not be able to stay in the U.S, can't afford international tuition rate, no home in Germany, not sure what to do. |
t3_4qe3tx | relationships | I [25M] decided to take a month break from my GF [23F] of 2 years, and I think I'm seriously considering to end it. | This is my first post and fairly new to reddit so I apologize if my writing is all over the place. I'll try to keep this brief as possible.
So little background: I met my girlfriend online while I was in my junior year in college. I was living with a college buddy of mine and she would come over couple times a week to spend the night. Things went real well for the first year so I thought it would be a good idea to move in together.
Like any relationship, we had some arguments but for the most part, we communicated anything that may bother us, but after living together for a year, I had a change of heart.
One thing that never got resolved was her need for attention and some would call her an "attention seeking woman." I would become frustrated because I would get so tired of it.
Now, her previous BF cheated on her, which I'm sure left a scar. She also takes medication for depression/anxiety and she's had panic attacks before. I don't think I have enough energy left to make it work between me and her. Also, for those who have psychology background: I feel that she puts me on a pedestal, but at the same time tries to make me feel I am at fault when she wants it her way in the relationship.
I decided to move back to my moms while I go to grad school, and also to have my own space away from her. When I broke the news about taking a break, she only agreed when I told her it is time to end the relationship then, because it wasn't fair for her to keep me in a relationship I am reconsidering.
I feel like there's more bits and pieces but I want to know if I'm being selfish/inconsiderate(like she says) or that I should just be single and focus on myself since I don't have/or want to give my energy that is required of her, especially since I will be going to grad school while working part time. | I am in relationship with gf for 1 year, moved in together for 2ND year, moved back out to have own space. Contemplating ending relationship but she is against it. |
t3_1vvtdj | relationships | [27 M] Struggling in a relationship with the love of my life [27 F]. Any advice? (not married, dating 18 months) | Well, I'm in a committed relationship and I live with my girlfriend, and have for 4 months now. We've been dating for about 18 months.
She is on birth control (has been very a while but her moods and needs have become quite erratic and she blames the BC for a lot of this), just started a very expensive and difficult 4 year stint of grad school, as well as a new job that she hates and is very challenging.
I have continuously tried to be supportive but each day she becomes less rational and less consolable. I am trying desperately to continue to be the strong one out the two of us but I'm running out of places to draw strength from. In addition to all of this she now takes her stress out on me and things unrelated to causing the stress (i.e. my shirts being on the floor occasionally, not enough decorations on the walls, the furniture the apartment came mostly in black). Everything is wrong, I'm wrong, and I'm starting to sound like a broken record trying to support her and I'm dangerously close to just not trying to keep her afloat anymore. What she really needs is to stand up, own her life, face challenges and best them but she can't do that and is not used to life and its challenges giving resistance with serious repercussions (such as losing a job or failing grad school). Our sex life is bordering on non-existent and isn't that great even when it's active (from my end at least).
This is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with but is this a taste of things to come? I am not sure what to do next as I am frustrated and running out of ideas and ways to stay positive. Advice and insights needed and appreciated. | How do I make this work, I love her family and her siblings, and this is my girl. I'm frustrated and defeated with no end in near sight, what now? |
t3_4adtrn | relationships | Me [31 F] with my girlfriend [40 F] of 4 years, she doesn't think I am sexy anymore | As early as I can remember, I've had issues with body confidence. My girlfriend has been very much aware of my issues, and overall supportive and patient with me as my confidence builds and falls.
Over the last several weeks, she and I have been on a mission to live a healthier lifestyle. We've both lost some weight, look and feel great, and have been much happier individually and as a couple. Last night, during a night of heavy drinking, she told me in front of our friends that she doesn't think I am sexy. I was mortified and hurt. She mentioned it several more times in private, but I decided it was just the alcohol speaking. (She tends to be a mean drunk.) Now, today she doesn't remember saying it, but she said that she must have meant it. She doesn't think I am sexy. She told me I'm beautiful and that I used to be sexy, but I'm just not sexy to her anymore.
I am obviously more hurt now that I know she actually meant it. As a person struggling with body confidence, and as an all-around over-thinker, I am really hung up on this. How can I be sexy again? When I asked her, she said, "Just be sexy for me." She told me that sexy is in confidence, and that I cover up too much. It's defeating to me that she says this at a time in my life when I haven't felt more confident in years. By this one comment, my confidence is shot.
I can't blame her for my problems. Trust me, I realize this is MY issue, not hers, and that I can't expect for her to always say the right things. But how can I be intimate with someone who doesn't even think I'm sexy? I obviously cannot make her think I'm sexy, but I also can't just be confident. If you have advice on how I can simply just let this go, please help, and please don't be an asshole. | I struggle with body confidence, and my girlfriend doesn't think I am sexy - tells me to "just be sexy" for her. How do I respond to this in a positive way for our relationship? |
t3_21q2lu | relationships | He [M 20] said he thinks he loves me [F 20] after almost 3 months. | Last night my boyfriend of almost 3 months said he thinks he loves me. We have never had any real problems. (One minor communication issue that was easily resolved and hasn't recurred.) I know that 3 months isn't a long time, but I think it's real. We've known eachother for a few years, so we weren't strangers by any means when we began seeing each other. I'm not in love with him, but I'm falling fast. I told him this, he agreed that he felt the same way but wanted to say it out loud so he knew I knew how he felt.
When is too soon? The only other time I was in love we said it after 2 weeks and stayed together for a year. I hate comparing relationships, but could he really mean what he said to me? I didn't prompt him by any means, he just came out with it. I am taking it with a grain of salt at the moment however, because it was right after really passionate bumpin of uglies. He's a conservative guy and isn't one to say things without thinking them over for a while first. We're 20 and have both been in love before, neither of us are rushing into anything. I feel the connection really strongly, but I guard myself so I don't get hurt. I guess what I'm really asking is if this is real or is it just the honeymoon stage hitting us hard? | Boyfriend said he thinks he loves me after we have sex, is it the honeymoon stage or just a strong connection? |
t3_fp8sz | AskReddit | Does anyone else find themselves disgusted when people are attracted to them? | I'm a 19-year-old girl, and as you might have guessed from the title, I've never had a boyfriend or been on a real date. I have made out with guys, but it's never been with someone I felt super attracted to, and I was drunk each time. I ended up deciding I wasn't going to make out with guys at parties anymore, because I had lingering guilt about hurting boys' feelings. (One dude asked me to be his girlfriend the next day, the others asked me out, and they were all rejected.) This might make me sound like a sensitive person, but I find my feelings of guilt turn into resentment towards the guy for making me feel guilty. I am an icy bitch.
I've never liked anyone I could actually have (mostly schoolgirl crushes on men 10 years older than me or hopeless long distance things). It seems like the more hopeless the situation, the more interested in the guy I get, and it's like I'm throwing all my emotions and energy down a black hole. One of my friends told me that I should just realize that boys are human, and that my tendency to push away people that want me and reach out for those who don't might be a reflection of some sort of self-loathing and that I don't consider myself worthy to be loved.
The thing is, I feel like I have a high self-worth, and if I didn't, I would have said yes to all those boys just to feel wanted. My friends and mother keep telling me to just go ahead and just give every guy a chance, but I find the idea of dating someone I'm not crazy about absolutely repugnant, probably out of some romantic notions I have.
Have any other redditors dealt with this? | Don't want anyone I can have. Only want people it would be nearly impossible for me to be with. Is it self-loathing? Need to know how to deal with it. |
t3_4hjfbi | loseit | Some advice on Protein | Hello all!
I've searched through this subreddit and found several comments on protein shakes, but this is an area that has always been vague for me. Last time I was very successful on my weight loss journey my wife got me convinced to try Herbalife. I replaced two meals a day with their shakes and lost weight. Big shocker, once I stopped with the shakes I put weight back on.
This time around, I'm trying to eat normal foods, just be more careful about selection and quantity. However, breakfast is still the toughest meal for me. I tend to be running late and I think a meal replacement protein shake is a quick and easy alternative. So I was hoping I could get some advice from all of you on a few questions.
1. What kind of meal replacement shakes do any of use use? I read some issues about people getting sick from too much pure protein shake, so I'd rather ensure it's a protein based meal replacement rather than a muscle building protein option. Please give brands for powders you buy etc, not just how you make it!
2. What are easy breakfast options that you all have and enjoy? I have a 45 minute commute to my office which makes a shake very practical (drink and drive!) but I'm open to other suggestions.
3. Slightly off topic, but I need pointers on exercise protein shakes. It appears some people swear by it, and others don't. I have no goal to get a 6-pack or anything like that. I'm just wanting to lose some weight and feel better. Is something before/during/after a workout necessary and helpful to weight loss, or is that something I should worry about later?
I'm new to this subreddit and posted a bit of information about me in Motivation Monday if you are curious. Thanks in advance! | 3 questions. 1. Meal replacement shake brands? 2. Quick and Easy breakfast options. 3. Protein and exercise supplement advice. |
t3_18qp2a | relationship_advice | I (20/f) think I might be in love with my best friend (21/m) | I've had plenty of close relationships with guys (gay and straight) that have been completely platonic starting from a very young age, so it's pretty normal to me and most people know me as a girl that's often "one of the guys". However, one of my closest guy friends since high school (let's call him M) and I have a slightly closer relationship, we text all the time, hang out a lot when we're in the same area (we live in different cities most of the year now a days), and talk about everything.
I thought he was a best friend like the other male best friends I've had, but there's something different about how I feel with him. He makes me really happy to be around, I would change my plans around just to see him, whenever something interesting happens he's the first person I think of to text about it, etc. We laugh at each other constantly, finish each other's sentences on accident... He's basically the one person that can always cheer me up.
I know I love him as a friend and that could be all I'm feeling, but I'm confused on whether this is something more. We talk about our hook ups, dates, etc with other people all the time, and I really don't feel jealous when he has a girlfriend (only jealous of occasionally not being able to spend as much time with him, but doesn't happen too often). I don't really have any reason to think that he likes me as more than a friend other than our close friendship. He's kind of touchy, etc but he's like that with everyone. We are both reasonably attractive people but he is especially good looking. So maybe I'd be in the female "friend zone" anyway?
I'm just confused and don't know whether I should do anything about it, because I would hate to mess up our perfect friendship in any way. He really is my best friend. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Sorry for the rant, but any suggestions, experiences, etc would be helpful. Thank you all for reading. | Female confused if in love with male best friend. Don't know what I really feel and don't want to ruin awesome friendship. |
t3_2lvezy | relationships | I [20M] am having trouble with an "on-again, off-again" relationship with my girlfriend [21 F] of 5 years | So, I've been with this girl ever since my Junior year in high school. She was the first girl that I ever dated and for the first year or so everything was going great. But, that did not last for a very long time as when she went to college, I was stuck in my senior year of high school feeling guilty for talking with people who weren't my girlfriend. So when I went up to see her at school, I broke up with her. Maybe not the smartest way to go about my problems but it's what happened.
Fast forward a couple months and we're back together again through mutual feelings resurfacing. I decided to go to the same school as her due to personal choices and a little bit of wanting to be with her. However, being a freshman in college all you want to do is be a shit head and party and all that. So, you guessed it, we broke up. This time on more mutual terms but still there was a feeling of something being unfinished. We inevitably got back together.
I'm going to spare you the details of every single break up and make-up since then because there's an embarrassing amount of times that we have broken up. Now, just recently my feelings for her have diminished in a way that hasn't happened before. The sex doesn't interest me, I do things to avoid her, and she just doesn't really make me happy like she used to. I feel selfish for saying these things but it's the truth.
Now, my question and advice I'm seeking is how exactly I can end this toxic relationship. One other important piece of information is that my girlfriend is now deeply intertwined with my friend group and I can't talk to anyone about it without it becoming personal. I care about this girl, I just feel like it's dishonest that I'm with her and have lost feelings almost entirely. | Been with girl since high school. Lots of break ups have happened but we're still together. How do I end the cycle with class? |
t3_4xi5u6 | relationships | Me [28 M] with my gf [27 F] 6 years, am I wrong or is she being irrational? | So I told my girlfriend that I wanted to go to beach A with my co-workers for happy hour. She told me, "but that's our place! can you go to another beach?" I told her that I wanted happy hour at this one place at Beach A. I told her that I shouldn't be restricted to go to the beach because we have been there together. I reassured her that we will have different experiences at Beach A and that place will always remind me of us. Her argument is that she feels strongly about me not going because it is our special place and that I should respect her feelings and not go. She then started to judge my co workers and started calling them annoying and how much she doesn't like them.
I am not sure what to take from this because I do respect her feelings but is that irrational thinking? | I want to go to happy hour with co workers but gf doesn't want me to because she says its our special place. |
t3_13x0he | relationships | I need help understanding something between us. 16M/F | Wall of text to read, but thank you for looking in. Any help is welcomed.
Yes, we're younger but please rest that aside. We've been dating for nearly 10 months now and things have been pretty good. Your usual up's and down's but other than that its been great. This is the longest relationship we've both had (my first and one previous to this was 2 months, her longest, not last, was 8 months).
A few months ago (2-3) I gave her 16 cards for her birthday, all relating to us somehow. For example, a kiss card. Anytime, any mood I'll have to kiss you if card is present. Another card was a truth card. With 5 redeemable passes. A few months ago she used one to ask me if I masturbated. I answered honestly, yes, and as the conversation moved on, she admitted to it as well, saying she started a month prior to the conversation. I was fine with this at first, but lately I've felt uneasy about it.
Being teenagers we're curious. And me being the guy, I'm naturally more curious than her. We have agreed no sex, and she's not interested in oral or letting me do that so our limit is grinding and touching over our underwear. I've never reached climax that way, but she has. Once on my 16th birthday. We used a massager I use after I run and she got off that way that time. However, it's only been that time. Never again.
So when she tells me, "oh hey, 44" (she updates me on when she does it, 44 is total times since she started) I feel badly. Like I'm failing and not "doing my job". I'm not sure how to understand the feelings or tell her I feel this way. She knows I do it as well, and I update her too. Yet, every time we mess around and things heat up I feel like I'm just making a fool of myself by fumbling around down there and she just has to lay there.
How do I overcome those feelings and tell her without giving an awkward or scared vibe? I'll feel free to provide any details if needed. | Girlfriend masturbates, I'm not sure how to process the emotions that I carry for knowing and not being able to please her when we mess around. |
t3_3igx2i | tifu | TIFU by ripping my pants and making a girl activating her brown pen | Sorry for any mistakes in grammar, I'm not a native speaker.
This fuck up happened last Friday.
I got invited to celebrate the 5 year anniversary of a mate and his GF. Usually I avoid being the first one at a party so I decided to arrive a bit later - one hour actually. So, everyone already started drinking and as soon as I gave my mate the present I decided to drink too. There was this kind of cute girl and I immediately sat down next to her (there was no other space anyway).
After 2 hours of having fun and drinking together (with the girl I previously mentioned), alcohol started to have an effect on me and on her obviously. So I dropped my drink and had to stoop to pick it up again. This was the moment when I thought it couldn't get worse. My jeans was so tight and I don't know why I decided to wear them at this evening, but as soon as I stooped, my pants ripped and my cute little boxers where looking at her.
Approximately 10 people immediately started laughing and at this moment I was so embarrassed. Probably the weakest moment of my life. They won't stop laughing for about five minutes when suddenly a weird smell began to surround the room. It smelled so awful, I can't even explain it. So everyone was trying to figure out where this stench came from and it was the girl I was talking to the whole evening.
She literally laughed so hard, that she shit in her pants. Going all red she stood up, revealing a brown spot through her leggings and charging out of the room. | ripping my pants by trying to grab a drink I dropped and making a girl laugh so hard that she literally shit in her pants. |
t3_1objce | relationships | I (25/f) have a crush on one of my regular customers. Im sure he's(30's?/M) interested but I need him to make the first move! | So I work in a coffee shop and have developed a huge crush on one of my regular customers. Im pretty positive he's also interested in me judging by the way he talks and looks at me. We casually flirt with each other too.
I don't have a problem asking a guy out, its not that big of a deal, but the problem is Im at work. Even though Im just a barista I still have to have some professionalism. Plus, whenever he comes in its always during our busiest time and I just don't have a lot of time to talk to him.
So I guess what Im asking is, is there a way to make it more obvious that he should ask me out? Or should I just say fuck it and ask him out during the rush? | Want one of my regular customers to ask me out, I cant ask him out due to being at work. How do I make it more clear that he has the go? |
t3_2ajztv | relationships | I [34M] just saw this book on my gf [31F] (5 months) bed side table. Anyone ever seen this or read it.... Should I be concerned? | My gf (31F) and I have been having issues with trust the past month (see my other post; ) and this morning I saw this new book on her bedside table. I asked what it was about and she said its similar to Men are From Mars...
I just googled it and here are some quotes;
"Live by your own rules Move to your rhythm, instead of dancing to the beat of someone else's drum Decide how you want to be treated Choose what you will or will not tolerate Leave if you don't get what you want."
"Men don't respond to words. What they respond to is "no contact"."
Here is the link:
I just want to know what other peoples experience is from reading this book.
Thanks | I [34M] just saw this book on my gf [31F] (5 months) bed side table. Anyone ever seen this or read it.... Should I be concerned?! |
t3_m96ro | AskReddit | Do you find other sites (or forums) with message boards to be trash after discovering Reddit? | Just to clarify it for you all. After I discovered Reddit about four years ago I've become a lot more choosy on what web sites or forums I find to be good. Most of the forums I used to lurk or post on before are just trash compared to Reddit. To me I just see so many ignorant, immature or/and illiterate idiots on other sites compared to Reddit.
Don't get me wrong. Reddit has its fair share of trolls, stupidity and assholes, but these people and submissions are most often totally ignored, down voted or deleted/banned.
To give you guys an example: Earlier today I looked through some of my local newspapers comment section, I checked through IMDB and Gamefaqs message boards. I also checked one of my favorite heavy metal news sites too just for the heck of it.
What I saw was that most of the posts were just full of immature name calling, trolling, ignorant political or scientific meanings or just totally irrelevant posts which had absolutely nothing to do with the article/movie/music/game in the first place.
It made me frustrated and angry just to read some of the messages. I just wished the quality were much better.
Is the quality better on Reddit or is it just I who have become a bit too picky and "elitist" about other websites comments section? | I feel like after I discovered Reddit, the quality on this website surpasses almost every single message board, forum or comment section on other sites. In my opinion the quality and moderation have pretty low standard compared to this site.* |
t3_4g8oj6 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my GF [20 F] 4-ish months | Looking for a better way to deal with arguments? | I'll keep this as brief and as unbiased as possible.
We have not argued a whole lot in these 4 months. Anytime an issue or argument comes about, we try our best to resolve it before the day ends. However, I've noticed that she tends to dismiss the argument entirely. She frequently uses "Don't talk to me then." when I tell her how I feel about the situation (mostly when it's about something she did). Admittedly, after every "fight" we both realise that we're both wrong in some ways. She is a little hotheaded and stubborn so I understand that she doesn't accept taking fault for the situation and will refuse to discuss it further (due to her ego?). But she normally cools off after a few hours or overnight and we eventually apologise and make up. She's also a little bit spoiled and tends to want to have her way of doing things. I just feel frustrated because it seems like she doesn't want to resolve these arguments as quickly as I do?
It's my first time in a relationship. So, I just want to know if this is normal or if there's something my girlfriend and I need to talk about? I hope I don't paint her as someone that troubles me a lot. I love her very much and she has compromised little by little over time. She knows she is stubborn, hotheaded and a little spoiled. Is it wrong to advise her to steer away from these attitudes?
Thank you, Reddit. :) | I don't agree with how my GF deals with arguments. Is this the norm? Or is there a better way? How can we improve the situation together? |
t3_4n7hbe | relationships | How do I [20F] tell my boyfriend [21F] that he's not doing enough in the relationship? | I feel like over the past few months (maybe longer) my boyfriend of three years has been especially self centered and hasn't been doing as much for me as I do for him. I've just gotten really frustrated and I'm on the verge of breaking up with him. But, I love him and I at least want to communicate this issue and see if things can change.
I feel like he's really unreliable and doesn't care as much about wasting my time. He cancels plans with little warning (usually when I'm already ready) and backs out after agreeing to help me with things. In contrast, I'm always there for him whenever he needs me for anything and I have apologized profusely the one or two times in our whole relationship I've had to cancel plans or let him down.
He has a pretty good deal here. He has (in my opinion and he's also said this before) a wonderful girlfriend who loves him and who he can count on for anything. I just can't say the same about him. He talks about marriage and our future a lot and I cannot spend the rest of my life feeling like this. I feel like I'm putting so much in and he doesn't reciprocate.
I'm a pretty low-key, non confrontational person so I don't know how to communicate to him that if he doesn't change, I'm going to end the relationship. I think he knows how lucky he is to have me and us breaking up would be a lot worse for him than me, so I think he's capable of change. I also want to stress that he hasn't always been like this so the inevitable break up advice isn't necessary. I just want help starting the conversation. I literally don't know how to communicate that I feel unappreciated and unloved without making it seem like he's a horrible person. | How do I tell my boyfriend that he's been unreliable and unappreciative and that our relationship feels unbalanced? |
t3_4k36mp | personalfinance | How much is an additional $60,000 in student loans, really? | Hi, thanks for reading. I am 23 years old and have been accepted to a couple of medical schools. My two options right now have a fairly large tuition difference - one school is $14k cheaper per year than the latter. School #1 costs ~$38k /year and School #2 costs $30k per year and has offered me a $7k/year scholarship.
Without getting technical, I really prefer going to school #1, if money was not in the picture, as it is a highly respected and well-established school, and if I go to that school and perform well, all doors will be open to me when I choose my field.
School #2 is a new school, and is EXTREMELY well-funded, but as a new school it has it's drawbacks and limitations in that I would have a harder time getting into specialties than I would at school #1.
I'm fortunate in that my non-direct expenses will be covered, so I will be taking unsubsidized Stafford loans (current interest rate is 6.21%) to fund the entirety of my direct expenses (tuition being the biggest one).
Now, the reason I'm posting on /r/personalfinance:
School #1 is 15k/year more expensive. Over 4 years, that means my degree from school #1 will cost me an additional $60k/year in unsubsidized Stafford loans with an interest rate of 6.21%.
After graduation and moving into residency, I am going to live as cheaply as possible and start paying off my loans. As a resident I will have an income of $50-60k per year, with a highly variable COL depending on where I end up. I haven't any idea what my salary post-residency will be because it will depend on my specialty. Additionally the length of residency is also specialty dependent, anywhere from 3-7 years, and possible additional postgraduate training after that.
**So my question is this** - if I choose to school #1, what will be the real long-term implications on paying off my debt? How many additional years might I spend paying this off? | choosing a medical school, what does an extra $60k in loans at 6.21% really mean in terms of how long it will take for me to crawl out of debt? |
t3_13wnmd | relationships | SO feels guilty that I make significantly more money than her | She is 23F and I am 26M, together for 2 years, currently living together, engaged. She is currently attending grad school and her only source of income is her graduate assistantship stipend (and loans). I am 5 years into my career, make a decent salary, and have no student loans.
I pay for all of our joint expenses (apartment, groceries, dates, vacations, trips to see family (we're from the same state), etc.) while we each take care of any personal expenses with our own money.
I am completely fine with this situation as she is very responsible with what money she does have coming in and spends rather frugally. I have reassured her several times now that I am happy with our situation and harbor no resentment over it. I know she will contribute when she is out of school.
She has told me that she feels like she is taking advantage of me and feels guilty that even when she does have a job after graduation that she won't be able to contribute anywhere near the amount I do to our finances. We've discussed these issues several times until I thought the feelings were resolved, but they keep creeping back up.
I've opened her up to my finances to try to make her feel included, and we have a joint checking account that we use as a slush fund for fun stuff. We made a rule to let each other know of any purchases over $50 so that she feels included on financial decisions. I make an effort to always talk about money as "ours" and not "his and hers." I constantly reassure her that I am ok paying for our joint expenses, and make sure that I don't ever hold it over her head.
Is there anything more I can do or say to her that makes her feel less guilty about our income disparity? | SO feels guilty that she doesn't contribute very much financially, what can I do/say to make her feel less guilty? |
t3_1dgvku | relationships | Why is he telling me all this now? (F/24)(M/26) | I (f/24) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (m/26) for 2 years. We have been in a long distance relationship for the past 8 months.
Tonight he spent the night out drinking with his friends (first at one of their houses and later at a club). He called me on his way home and was so drunk. He was acting so silly, it was actually really funny-- he must have told me that he was sitting in a taxi about ten times.
Its our policy that when we go out with friends that we text each other every two or three hours, and I hadn't heard from him all night. I asked him about it (not angry, just curious) and he explained that he had no reception because the club was underground (case closed, because this is indeed the case).
Then he tells me about his night. Over and over (he's still super drunk, smiling and making funny faces and all that). Then he says he just wants me to know that he has nothing to hide. Then he starts telling me how much he loves me, and that he misses me, and that its hard for him to have fun without me, that when his friends look at other women he can't because he only has eyes for me, and that someday he wants to marry me. Then he starts smiling again and falls asleep.
And that's all very sweet, but at the same time I'm wondering why he was repeating all this when I hadn't accused him of hiding anything in the first place. I know I shouldn't be so worried, but sometimes I have trouble trusting people (bad experiences blah blah blah, but I've worked on it, and its gotten so much better!!)
Any insight would be greatly appreciated!! :) | my boyfriend spent the night at a club with his friends. Reassures me that nothing happened, even though I never asked. |
t3_49rt84 | AskDocs | 21yo Male - Memory Loss | White male - 21yo - 180cm for 67kg
I'm a foreign student in California.
I find myself a little bit "disconnected" from the real world since a few months.
Sometimes, I realize that I completely forgot what I've just done in the last half hour.
For example, one of my roommates transferred me the money to pay the water bill earlier, we spent 20 minutes working out the transfer details, then I go sit at my desk, open my computer, see that I have received money from her and I have no idea why.
It's like someone else is taking control of myself, and then suddenly, I'm back. I'm not disoriented or anything, but I realize that I have no idea I completed some complex tasks a few minutes ago or why I did it.
I also forget stuff really often, like my phone or my bag on some place.
This never happened to me before.
I've cut alcohol a month ago (I used to drink a beer or two at the bar, but that's it), I sometimes smoke marijuana, maybe 2 or 3 times a week, I exercise around 5 times a week. I eat clean and sleep 8 hours per night on a regular schedule.
I've been feeling really depressed since June 2015. I was at my worst between August and December. I lost weight (force feeded myself to stay above 60kg), didn't leave my apartment or talked to anyone for days at time, I had a really hard time waking up in the morning and I would just lie down on the floor for hours sometimes. I continued working out during this time, going to the gym down the street was my only occupation for 5 months. I worked from home, so no one noticed.
I'm on the path of recovery since January. I haven't talked to anyone about my depression, I started feeling better when I moved to California to continue my studies (It was planned before my depression started), I still have shitty days where I don't want to wake up or go to class, but I do anyway because then people will start asking questions. I also don't wake up in the middle of the night anymore like I used to for months. | Frequent memory loss, like someone is taking control of myself for minutes or hours at a time. No idea why, how or when I completed complex tasks, like I'm in automatic mode. |
t3_236cfu | relationships | A student (30-40/F) in my masters classes is almost picking on me (22/F) and I feel uncomfortable and a little insulted. | EDIT: I am going to rephrase this entire post because 99% of comments are based on me doing a program I'm not. My fault for not providing enough identifying details, but you know, anonymity.
I have just started my masters. There are two subjects I have received advanced standing for, because they are undergrad introductory subjects I have already completed. It is not an audit, I have already received the credit, I do not pay for the class and do not do the assignments. Sometimes I attend the lecture component for revision. Sometimes I do not. I phrased this as "skipping" because this is what the person in question (called M) considers it. I have explained that I don't need to attend the class to her, but it seems she is having the same response as this thread, so I need to make it more clear to her.
The masters is by coursework, not research. I do not intend to do a PhD. I intend to become a practicing clinician.
I fucked up at the start by missing 3 one hour classes in an introductory subject on a topic I am not familiar with. This is because the class is at 8am and I slept in. There is no excuse for this. I am now attending every one of these classes and intend to continue.
I acknowledge that missing the subject I am unfamiliar with is a big problem. I did not make it clear enough that missing the other two subjects is actually the default position, and by going to class at all I am doing more than is necessary of me.
My problem is with M noticing that I am often not in class and mentioning this to me and others. I was unsure why she would do this. I have received some good advice so far to explain why. If anyone else wants to add anything feel free. | woman in class notices me not attending some classes (some justified, some not), is questioning me about it, wondering why she would feel the need to do so. |
t3_17lw55 | AskReddit | How do I take a hit in a fight? Please help! | Ok I am an 18 year old female who has never been in a fight before. I hate any type of fighting whether it be a simple argument, or a brawl. But for the first time in my life I have a girl who literally wants to beat my ass and I am so fucking scared. I've never fought in my life and I honestly have no idea what to do, and I am about 90% sure that it is inevitable. She is one of those people who is practically blinded by her anger. She doesn't even know the full story and is basically mad for no reason and it is so unbelievably fucking stupid. But she wants to use brutal force. Please help me. I know I sound like a wimp, but please. Either teach me how to fight, or teach me how to just take a hit. | I am going to get my ass beat probably in the next month. Please teach me how to either hit or take a hit. |
t3_wpllf | AskReddit | Reddit, I just graduated High School. I really want to play soccer and improve while I'm still young; I was always too shy to sign up for sports in school, only played my senior year. What can I do? | So I never played on a school team except for my senior year (amateur my first year) because all the people that played sports were usually the same group of kids that I didn't get along with. Having been picked on in elementary/middle school by some people that played soccer (mostly all popular kids) I never gave it a shot until this year.
I'm going to be going to a community college for my first 2 years and transfer (save money, and not 100% sure what I want to do just yet), and go for my masters. In the meantime, I'd like to get involved in a soccer program and get really good at it. I feel like it's too late because I'm not going to college to play soccer (no scholarships or anything like that), and I don't know if there's any local programs for 18 year olds. I'm fit, health, and dedicated; what can I do to pursue this goal? | 18 y.o didn't play soccer in school, regrets it, healthy & fit, want to play soccer and get good at it before i'm too old. How do? |
t3_h96v6 | Parenting | DAE have a pre-schooler who is on a hunger strike? | My 4 year old son has never been a big eater, but for the past two weeks or so he's been particularly averse, almost phobic, of eating.
He's been waking up every morning for the past couple of weeks asking whether it's okay if he doesn't eat anything that day, and when it's time for meals he appears very apprehensive and uneasy. In the past week he's vomited about six times in total on separate occasions, always during meals.
He's never had a big appetite and has always hovered around the 10th percentile for weight/height. Not wanting to create an unhealthy obsession with food and eating, my stance so far has been to let him regulate himself and eat when he wants to and however much he wants, as long as he properly sits down at the table during regular family meal times. But the problem these days is that he can and will seriously go through a day without eating anything whatsoever unless I put my foot down, so my laissez faire approach isn't helping much. If he continues this way, he'll be considerably malnourished very soon, if not already.
But then when I put my foot down (ie, say "you MUST eat X number of spoonfuls of this") he gets worse and even more averse to eating, and it seems to ultimately lead to vomiting. The only thing he asks for is milk or juice.
I've talked to a gastroenterologist and three pediatricians in the past about the vomiting/the small appetite, but it's never lead to anything concrete. But the food phobia has never been as bad as it is right now. (I scheduled another pediatrician visit for this week to discuss the problem.)
Has anyone else dealt with a pre-schooler on what seems to be a hunger strike? Anyone have any tips on how to handle it? I'm at wit's end as to what to do about it. | 4 year old does not want to eat, is preoccupied with negotiating ways to avoid having to eat at meal times, and can/will go through days of ingesting nothing but milk or juice if he can have it his way. |
t3_4g3kqc | relationships | Me [21/M] and my girlfriend [21/F] of 4 years are breaking up in September. How do I cope with the expiration date on our relationship? | We're both college students. Next academic year I'll be studying/living in Madrid. We did consider giving a LDR a try, but we both want very different things once we finish college and we both have very different world-views, so we decided that it's probably a good time for us to part ways when I move.
While it will break our hearts to say goodbye, we both know deep down that breaking up is the right thing to do; we work well now, but that wouldn't be the case once college finished because of the above reasons.
The thing is though, I can't get our relationship's impending doom out of my head. She's my best friend -- there's no one in the world I feel so close to, and I can't stop thinking "what if this is it? what if you're about to break up with the only person you'll ever feel this way for?". | Me and my GF are breaking up in September because I'm moving abroad. How I stop agonizing over the fact I might be throwing away the best thing that's ever happened to me and enjoy the summer? |
t3_38xve3 | offmychest | My boyfriend and I are not meant to be; he's content with sameness, and I never will be. However, I cannot get myself to walk away from somebody I love. | I fell in love with this guy. I was a full-time student at university, and he was working at a seasonal job. He told me during the school year he attends school and works during summer. I could talk to him on a different level than anybody in my life. He seemed to understand things on a deeper level, and be very emotionally intelligent when it came to my feelings. He was also buying a house.
I believed we aligned pretty well with both of us working towards future goals. We have been together a year now, and I realize I had misunderstood many things. I am finishing my B.S., and ready to apply to grad school and working in the mean time. He did nothing during the last school year except beat a few video games. He went back to his seasonal job this summer, and is happy with this. He states he is unsure of his plans and "may not be ready this year or even next year". He is happy living in this small town for the rest of his life with barely any shopping areas/entertainment/restaurants let alone opportunities for growth.
I know we are not made for each other. I want to experience the world, and he wants to make enough money for the next video game. I love him though, and I am having the hardest time in the world making the decision to leave. When we are just hanging out and talking, everything in the world seems okay. I feel alive and real when I am with him. He makes me smile and laugh, and I love being next to him.
I wish this was easier. I know I would be settling, and I would never be happy with sameness, but I cannot walk away when all the problems are future problems. Right now, right here, he makes me happy. | see title: my boyfriend and I are not meant to be; he's content with sameness, and I never will be. However, I cannot get myself to walk away from somebody I love. |
t3_1gxcsi | dating_advice | Should i [M 18] ask if she [F 17] sent a message or not? | So i met someone at work shes friendly, quite cute and we got on well when i was training her on her first proper shift (she told me it was her first proper shift anyway.)
so i decided to give her my number (that's a big thing for me,) after receiving some advice from a friend to give her mine rather than ask for hers, so i casually got in line to buy somethings (we work in retail,) when i got to the front of the line and after i paid i gave her my number on a piece of paper and said "hey here's my number feel free to call or text anytime," to which she smiled slightly and said okay.
since then things have been slightly awkward between us, i'm thinking i have missed her messages as i might have wrote down my number wrong, or she might just not want to contact me.
so my question is should i ask if she has called or messaged, and if she answers yes ask for her number, or should i just leave it? | met a girl, gave her my number, haven't made any contact yet, think i gave her wrong number, should i ask if she has messaged and if yes ask for her number or leave it? |
t3_46fo98 | relationships | Me (26F) breaking up w/ volatile BF (29M) this weekend, need advice on safety and protocol. | Hi, I'm 26F. My boyfriend is 29M. Together one year. Live together. Have a dog. I'm taking the dog. He travels often for work. We fight constantly. He is volatile and I cannot predict his reactions or behavior. I cannot take any more manipulation or emotional/verbal abuse and yelling.
I need to break up with him this weekend and I already have plans to move a few states away and stay with a supportive connection while I get on my feet. He does not know yet. I have tried to get as much together as possible before I do this.
I do not know what to expect. What do I do if he starts yelling. What do I do if he starts name calling and berating me?
My name is on all of the dog's adoption paperwork. I paid the entire adoption fee. I pay for her vet visits. But he helped pay the initial costs. I don't have much to take with me so I'm planning to just jump in my car and start driving.
I guess the main advice I need is to know how to deescalate the situation, when it's ok to call the police or if that's even a good idea, and how do I keep it together? How do I protect my dog?
I have no idea what I'm doing. I just know I need to get out before I waste any more time with someone like this. | Boyfriend has unpredictable behavior. Ending things this weekend. How do I deal with this in the moment if he starts to escalate? |
t3_2w04rw | relationships | Me [23F] with my guy friend [21M] we have hooked up a few times, however, I think he may have a girlfriend.. Do I look crazy if I ask ? | Hello all,
I have a bit of a lame / tame question compared to a lot of people's problems here, but I am hoping to get some help.
I have been friends with this guy for a few years we will call him Jerry. We were never particularly close but we talked and hung out frequently. Jerry is a bit of a player and often suggested we should get physical, however, nothing ever happened as I didn't want to be just a fuck and chuck.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago and we were hanging out, one thing lead to another and we ended up making out. Surprisingly, he didn't try anything else though, and I was happy.
Since that day we have talked every day and hooked up multiple times since, however, we haven't had sex yet and that was his call not mine.
I know what we have is casual and I am fine with that.. However, I know he has been talking to another girl and most likely hooking up with her. Again that doesn't worry me... Casual is casual...
Last night however, he sends me a snapchat with a picture of her saying 'My favorite... With a series of love hearts and loved up emoticons'
I know I am probably being paranoid, but I am now worried they are more serious than I thought.. I don't want to cross any boundaries so I was thinking about just sending a quick text.
That being said I don't want to come across as crazy .. Or have him get upset that I would think that. Basically I think I have thought too much and just need an outsiders perspective on what they would do haha! | hooked up with a friend a few times.. Now think he may be have been in something more serious with another girl.. Do I ask? Or does that make me look crazy? |
t3_2t9n1k | relationships | Me [22 M] with my coworker[27 F] of a year and a half, not sure if our working relationship is becoming more. | When does a working relationship with a coworker become something more?
I am a male 22, she is a female 27. We've worked together for over a year, and recently have started texting each other, with increasing frequency. At first the texts were just talking back and forth about other coworkers, and now they have become less and less about work and more just about everyday stuff. Even on our days off we talk. I guess I feel as though I'm beginning to get mixed signals and I'm sure I've probably been sending some signals myself.
I understand that relationships and work very rarely work together unless they can be kept separate...
Let's discuss. We can discuss about any angles or details, first post on here obviously, but wanted to hear from a variety of people.
I apologize if this seems vague, just never have asked for advice from random people before. | I think my cooworker and I are interested in each other but are both to afraid to say or do anything about it. Lets discuss. |
t3_2tp7t1 | relationships | [18 M] questioning emotion with [18 F] ex girlfriend now friend | three and a half months ago I finally managed to get my first girlfriend and completely fell in love. We liked all the same things and had a blast every second we were together.
Recently we broke up due to some huge and complicated issues we were having involving her ex (not cheating), but she told me she loves me back and wants to be there for me and at least be my friend.
However I seem to be taking the break up a lot harder than she is and when she doesn't want to talk to me or see me as often it really is hard to deal with. Yesterday she didn't talk to me at all and by the time the evening came I panicked and went to see her, she told me I was acting like a 5 year old that is waiting for their mommy to get back from the grocery store.
I want to talk to her about it soon but from what I can tell is that I'm being way too emotional and need to be more of a man. I apologized and asked if she'd still be my friend and be there for me, she said she would if I stopped acting like this.
So I ask what do I do, I finally have someone I can completely trust and knows all there is to know about me and I may even lose her as a friend too. | Is it wrong of me to let out so much emotion to my ex girlfriend now friend? Do I just need to be a man about all this? |
t3_38w2vq | relationships | My [20's F] GF of almost a year failed to disclose an STI to me [20's M]. Am I wrong to be upset? | She has dated a lot, but is the first person I've been with. Near the beginning of our relationship I asked her if she had any STDs, she said no. She got tested and came back clean.
Long story short, she had just developed a fungal infection (jock itch / ringworm / whatever) and was too embarrassed to say anything or stop me when we started to progress sexually (which back then consisted of me fingering her, so I didn't notice it).
She just now told me (six months later) when I told her that I thought I might have something (a few minutes after I noticed it). I feel like talking with your partner about possible shared health issues is / should be pretty damn important, and I feel hurt and disrespected by the fact that she decided that it was okay to say nothing and treat it herself -- letting me finger her while she had an active infection.
The issue: she has apologized but doesn't see it as a big deal (it's just a fungal infection, it's not an STD, her doctor told her not to worry about it, etc), I feel lied to and like my trust has been betrayed. To me, it feels like she prioritized not being embarrassed over my health. Is this not a big deal? I'm upset and can't really see straight here... | GF said she was clean but put me at risk of contracting a not-quite-std without saying anything. Am I crazy for being pissed? |
t3_fbpq9 | AskReddit | Should society subsidize the poor and the weak? | Ok so I am an MBA student and my theory did not go well with my buddies so I want to ask you guys about your opinion:
I believe that the government should play an active role to ensure that the level of society increases with the increasing fortunes of rich people. Thus, higher taxes for higher income bracket individual should be done to ensure free education, health among other social benefits which improves the society as a whole such as sciences, museums, art etc which have no profit potential and thus would not be of interest to short sighted corporations. This is also the 'ethical' thing to do.
After all, if the kid down the street is educated and has a decent job, he is less likely to steal the Porsche I may be driving in the future?
Further, these same corporations / individuals go to the government when they need any help (the bailout being the biggest example) but bitch when the government tries to regulate or tax it. So might as well tax and redistribute the wealth now so that when time comes, these individuals would not feel disenfranchised giving money later on to help the corporations.
What does Reddit think? | Government should tax high income people and corporations and spend for social services such as education, sciences, health etc? Is this the ethical thing to do? |
t3_351yd6 | relationship_advice | How should I[22M] confess my feelings to my quite long time friend[21F] ? | Hi Reddit,
I think I need your advices, I am pretty inexperienced, I only had one relationship and it ended quite badly. There is a friend I know for nearly 2 years now and I feel differently about her since last month. I think I should tell her how I feel but I don't know how. Here are some background details:
I met her at a party but we didn't speak that much. Actually she is pretty shy and… Well, she is one of my best friend's sister. At that time I couldn't imagine myself having romantic feelings toward her. Then we kept in touch occasionally, we hung out sometimes with other friends including her brother and we also played some online video games together.
Things started to change these last months. She was curious about my chess club so she joined me. She enjoyed it and it became a habbit, we saw each other almost every weeks during 2 months there. It was the first time I could talk to her alone, I mean without the usual friends.
During this period, we became closer; we started texting and hanging out more often as we found out common hobbies. But now she went in another country for studies and she will be back in 3 months. I usually lose contact with friends who travel in another country but we manage to keep texting to each other every weeks.
I like her, I really like her way of thinking and I feel that she is one the rare person who seems to care about me. For sure, these last months, she turned from an acquaintance to a good friend for me but now I can't stop thinking that we can be more.
Lots of people say that if I want a relationship with someone, I shouldn't be her friend first and this is discouraging me. Plus, she is one of my best friend's sister, I didn't even tell him about that. Should I tell her how I feel ? How ? | We know each other for about 2 years but we became close friends these last months. Now she's away until end of summer. |
t3_1graxf | relationships | My [21/F] ex [22/m] is having surgery... Should I go? | My ex is having the fourth and final operation in a series of eye surgeries that have taken place over the last year. After this procedure, he will be completely blind for about a week. I supported him through the other three surgeries, which happened while we were in a relationship and living together.
We were together for over two and a half years, and I broke up with him about a month ago. He is still struggling to get over me and leaps at any chance to contact me despite my asking him not to. I worry that visiting him in the hospital is only going to make things harder for him.
On the other hand, I am certain that his family is not coming. He will have a friend there for support who I believe he will also be staying with while recovering. I was the only person there for most of his other surgeries, and I was the one who the surgeons and nurses would talk to afterward. I feel like by not going, I'm abandoning him. I also told him that I still wanted to be there whenever I first broke it off with him, so he expects me to show up anyway.
I really do want to be there for him, but I think seeing me will cause him pain in the long run. He told me he wants me there, but the break-up was really recent and I think we should have space. Help? I have no idea what I should do. | Broke up with boyfriend of 2.5 years a month ago. Should I still support him at his surgery or stay away to give him space? |
t3_2stdrh | relationships | I (21M) said something really mean about my girlfriend (19F) in front of friends while she cried during our fight. | Hi,
My girlfriend (19F) and I (20M) fought lately on Skype and I was being so mean and I copied her words and showed to my friends and joked about them and made fun of her. I did that when we were in the heat of a fight when she cried. It was really mean. I was wrong. My girlfriend found out later and she was really upset and doesn't forgive me even after I apologized. I really love her and I want to get her back. I wish I have never done that. What can I do? We have been together for 10 months and I really love her. | I said something really mean about my girlfriend to my friends when we fought. She found out and doesn't forgive me. What can I do? |
t3_poaq7 | AskReddit | Filing a Complaint with Wendy's: Food Poisoning (Please Help) | Background on the situation...Saturday night around 11pm I went to Wendy's. I order two Monterey Ranch Crispy Chicken Sandwiches and some fries. Every time I go to Wendy's that is what I order. As I was eating them, I noticed they didn't taste like they normally do but they also didn't taste bad, it was just...different. I started watching a movie after I got done eating and during the movie I could not stop burping. Non-stop, uncontrollable burps. After a string of normal burps would be a very toxic tasting burp and would make my stomach hurt, my throat hurt and make my face wince up at the horrible taste as it came back up.
3 hours later, after non-stop burping around 2am and as soon as my movie ended, I started to throw up. It was all Wendy's that came up and I got no sleep at all. I would go back to my bed for 5 minutes just to go back to the bathroom for another 15 minutes. I also had diarrhea at the same time which made the vomiting very uncomfortable since I couldn't sit on the toilet and puke in my sink at the same time...you can imagine what that would be like.
Anyways, I've started to feel better but I can barely stomach food, my stomach is still in pain, I have still diarrhea (I haven't had a solid BM in two days) and I'm still uncontrollably burping. I've been burping non-stop since I ate the Wendy's and it's extremely frustrating. Its almost to the point to where I can't even talk because I have to burp so much. What can I do about filing a complaint to Wendy's and getting this matter resolved? I wanted to wait it out and see if I would get better but if I'm still in this pain and constant burping remains, I'm going to go to the doctors. I've waited it out and nothing is better except I've managed to eat a few bowls of soup. | Food poisoning from Wendy's has left me in a lot of pain and uncomfortableness. Is there anything I can do so Wendy's can compensate me for this bullshit? |
t3_2wo58a | relationships | Me [22M] and my problem [20F]' | So, this girl, M, and I went out for a while. Maybe a month. Maybe more.
We were fine. But she had just gotten out of a relationship. A crappy one. She didn't want me to be her rebound or something. So we stopped seeing each other for a bit.
She messages me about a week ago, and we agree to meet up.
When we met up, everything was back to the way it was even we were together. So I asked her if it would be okay for us to go watch a movie as friends.
I made this perfectly clear. FRIENDS.
She agreed. We watched the movie on Valentine's Day. As friends.
Afterwards, she started touching me more. Like moving my hair out of my face and bringing her face close to mine whenever we stood in a line.
I took her home that night. And she kissed me. I told her that I liked the way things were. As friends. And THAT I didn't want to fuck anything up.
She said, "don't think negatively."
So we continued to see each other after that. Eventually doing all the things we did before.
This happens for a good week or more.
Then her friends ask us, "so, what are you guys?"
I waited for her to answer. But she didn't. So I said we were friends. Cos I didn't want her feeling like she had to label what we were.
Though I'm not in any way trying to just mess around with her, I kind of want her to be sure that this is what she wants this time. | I think I'm the fuck buddy of a girl I really like. But she won't tell me what we are. |
t3_119a54 | relationship_advice | My girlfriend (23/f) showed me some e-mails her ex is sending her. What's the best course of action? | He broke with her a year ago and they haven't seen each other in months. She seems to be really over that relationship and she is really into me. We have been together for only a month. She showed me the e-mails right away stating she wants this relationship to be super honest since the beginning. He knows she is with me and sent her the first e-mail a week after she started dating me 'just to say hi'. I just told her not to answer him back, her silence should be eloquent enough. He keeps sending e-mails with 'casual' questions; I still think she just should not answer him. Is this the best course of action? What else should I do? | gf's ex-boyfriend is e-mailing her, she showed me the e-mails and asked me what to do. |
t3_3x00ld | relationships | Me [29 /M] am being lied to by a girl [25/ F] I'm seeing. How do I confront her about this? | we have been seeing each other for about a month and it's not serious but we agreed from the get go that the exes would not come into it because of her and my bad experiences from the past. Things are ok between us but she went a bit weird and cold on me over the last weekend so I gave her space and she decided to come back which is fine. Except today I found out she is lying to me.
She went to the park and sent me a picture of her dogs with a friends dog. Except she has shown me this dog before and it belongs to her ex. When I asked her who the dog was, she just said a friend. I know she is lying to me even though she has no reason to because we aren't in a serious relationship and it's none of my business if she wants to hangout with her ex. The problem is I hate liars. I want to know how to confront her about it without being accusatory.
If she wants to go back to her ex boyfriend that's her business (although given the stories of abuse and control I've heard, I don't know why she would). I just want to let her know that I know she was lying to me about it. Please let me know if you've dealt with a similar situation. | girl I'm dating is lying to me about seeing her ex. How do I confront her and let her know that I am aware? |
t3_2u5u8m | relationships | Me [20F] with my (ex?)boyfriend [21M] of 9 months, says he hasn't been "lonely" and so he NEEDS a break but he doesn't WANT a break | Me and my boyfriend have known each other closely for about 2 years now. We "officially" got together last summer, almost right after he broke up with his previous girlfriend of 5 years. He has been hesitant because of this but really loving all along the way, even though there have been some serious rough patches. He came and met my family this Thanksgiving and we have/had loads of plans.
Today he was kind of cold and I asked him what was wrong over text and he said that it was something we couldn't text about, so we went on a drive. The conversation went a little like this:
Boyfriend: "I don't want you to be upset, but I've been dealing with this for a while. I don't always feel happy in our relationship. The days where I have doubts, my emotions flip flop several times throughout the day. I feel like whenever I express my feelings about this, you, of course, try to fix things, but I think I need to be by myself. I haven't been lonely. I don't really know who I am alone. I don't want to ask you for a break, because that's unfair, but I don't want to break up with you either..."
Me: "Ok."
Boyfriend: "Do you have anything you want to say?"
Me: "No. I've fought really hard for this relationship and clearly that means nothing, so talk to me when you've had your fill of being lonely and know what you want. It's not worth fighting over and I don't have to prove to you that I'm worthwhile, because I know I am. Bye."
At that point he gets out of the car. I've deleted his number and hidden him on FB because I know that I will try to contact him if I don't. | Boyfriend needs a break, doesn't want a break, but wants a break. What do I do in the meantime? Do I take him back if he wants to come back to me? |
t3_1p79tm | dogs | Long lasting dog treats/meal type homemade treats? | Ok so let em explain a little, because I'm sure that might have been a little confusing.
I have a blue heeler, roughly about 3 years old. If he had a choice he would chew till he died. During meal times (because I have young children and I dont want him eating the food they 'give' him also begging drives me CRAZY) I have him go to his bed until I call him back in to eat whats fallen on the floor. I'm kind of looking for a treat I can make at home, that has something of a lasting power. By that I mean this boy has some intense jaw muscles. I can't leave him with a tennis ball, ten minutes and its in pieces. Rawhides he eats so quickly he gets sick. So far the only 'treat' or chew toy I've been able to make last are those nylabones.. buuuut I'm pretty sure they are plastic and hes actually tearing them up and it makes me nervous. Got any recipes or ideas of things I can make at home that he CANT just swallow and may take him a second to chew that I can give him during our meal times? | My dog chews everything to death, I want a recipe that creates a nice treat that will take him a minute to get through while we eat our meals. |
t3_3561ce | relationships | My [21M] friend [21M] of a decade wanted to exclude my girlfriend from a weekend trip - I stood up for her and now he's not talking to me. | EDIT: [Update here.](
Been dating my girlfriend for a year and things are amazing - I've never been happier. The argument with my friend stemmed from plans for May 24 weekend. He and 4 mutual friends of his, mine, and my girlfriends, are getting a hotel and barhopping for the night. The mutual friends consist of 1 couple, one single guy and one single girl. He invited me along, and said he'd prefer my girlfriend not to come as it's a "bro's night". I told him that's not fair to her, a large portion of our friend group is going out, and there's another couple so it's definitely not a bro night. He tried to defend this by saying it's not the core of our friend group, just those we don't see often and there's nothing stopping my girlfriend from making plans with someone else for that weekend. In the 10 years I've known him, he's never had a girlfriend or boyfriend (he's bi). He said that he sometimes feels left out when my girlfriend and I do things without him too.
This led into him saying how my girlfriend always joins in on whatever we do (not true at all - when she does I'll ask him first and he says it's fine), how she tries to change plans (not true), and all of this other stuff. He says he never gets to hang out with me (also not true. we both work full time and he's seen me 3 days in the last week). He said he loves her, but wants some time where we can hang as just friends. I get it - and I told him that. I explained that he just needs to say he wants a bro night and it's not an issue, however a weekend trip with a large group of people excluding my girlfriend is different. This was two days ago - no reply. Yesterday, I texted him saying "are you free to meetup and talk tonight?" with the intent of talking it out over a 6 pack. Still no reply. Am I in the wrong here? | Best friend of a decade isn't talking to me because I called him out on being ridiculous. Am I in the wrong here? |
t3_2tnldw | relationships | My (20F) boyfriend (20M) lied to me about MANY things. Should I stay with him? | My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship for 10 months now.
He lives in another country. During this timelapse, he lied to me twice (i thought).
first, he lied that he wasnt using weed. I said, before he went, that i had no problem with him doing it. He kept lying for 4 months and I caught him in his lie. Ok, I forgave him. He said he would do it once a month.
second, last month, I caught him lying about his girl friends going every Tuesday lunch in his house. He has been doing it for months too. Ok, i fogave him too. Not because of the girls, but the lie.
Now, we were talking in Skype and he began to tell me a lot of lies.
- he is smoking weed twice a week;
- he keeps sleeping at his girl friends;
- girl friends keep sleeping at his house.
- he goes to parties without telling me or telling me he is at home.
What should I do? Forgive him again?
I never. NEVER lied to him. | boyfriend lied to me MANY times. We are in a long distance relationship and I only have his word, for everything that happens with him. |
t3_3l3g3x | relationships | Me [24 M] and my [22f] of 2 years moved in together 3 months ago. I'm not sure if I actually love her. | She is from Switzerland. I met her when she was doing an english language course in my hometown.
After the end of her 3 month course I persuaded her to stay in England with me. She got a job very quickly and I already had one. I was living with my parents and she moved in with me (and them) for about 8 months.
A few months ago I got a job in London as did she. We got a place together and all was wonderful. However in the last few weeks I haven't felt as close to her as I did.
I feel she is becoming more and more like her over-powering, cold, rude mother. She always used to blame her mother for being like that, saying that that is why she has got divorced 3 times and all I can see is how she has inherited those characteristics which she herself hates. I am sure that I have changed some habits as well since we have been living all alone but...
I constantly feel criticised. Anything I do, I don't do it to her exact specifications and she won't let me forget it, from the smallest thing like taking 3 steps inside my front door without taking my shoes off (then I spend the next half hour listening to why she doesn't want me doing it). Our sex life has dried up, we have sex about once a week, not for lack of trying on my part.
I really do love her but she makes me feel so small and shit all the time. I want to see the person I fell in love with but all I get is one cold swiss glacier whenever I try to get close to her, emotionally or physically. | moved in together after 9 months of living together with my parents. Now I don't see the same person I fell in love with. |
t3_3lvu3e | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Girlfriend [19 F] of 1 year, I love her but hung up on attractiveness am I being superficial? | So I'm with this girl and our relationship is pretty great overall, we get along have similar interests and just have a good connection. Now we went through a breakup once but we both agreed that our relationship was worth trying again and I guess what I'm hung up on isn't her looks per say but the way she presents herself.
Like when we did break up one of the big things is I started to drift away physically I didn't cheat or anything I just started losing interest and I suppose it's because she never did anything to make herself more attractive to me, the things she does aren't in my taste but in her own which is somewhat frustrating; say her hair or things she wears etc. obviously I want her to be her but if she wants me to find her attractive shouldn't she appeal to my tastes? I'm finding the same thing is happening now where she obviously wants me to find her attractive but isn't really putting the effort into it which is what turns me off, not what she looks like but the effort she puts into presenting herself.
A little bit is her figure which she herself says she wants to improve on but whenever I suggest helping her (I'm very fit and workout constantly on my own) she says she doesn't have time or plain doesn't want to, but continues to complain about it.
I suppose I'm just worried because if I ever mention anything that would remotely hint at the fact of her attractiveness she gets defensive and starts this "you think I'm ugly routine" So is there a way to bring this up gently? Or is this my problem that I need to shutup about and get over? We have been together a long time and plan to be together a lot longer we're kind of committed to this especially her we have had many talks about how to prevent us from drifting apart again, which is why I feel like there is a logical reason to put more effort into our relationship from both of us. | Is it possible to bring up my girlfriends attractiveness and things I'd like her to do to find her attractive in a soft way? Or is it something I need to get over is it too superficial? |
t3_3shn6o | relationships | Me [30 M] with my GF [28 F] almost at one year anniversary. I am feeling very sexually frustrated and I don't know what to do. | We've been seeing each other for a year later this month, and we've been living together for a couple months. She is the love of my life, and we have an intense emotional connection. We've only had sex 6 times the whole relationship, but there's been lots of hand and mouth play, so I haven't had a problem. After we moved in, she suggested that whenever I feel like masturbating I go ahead, which I do to relieve myself about four or five times a week.
About 2+ weeks ago, we hadn't done anything more serious than cuddling in a while. I begin to relieve myself, and she looks at me with utter revulsion and gets up out of the bed. I haven't been able to take care of myself since then because I think of how repulsed she was. Furthermore, she hasn't felt like doing anything at all since then, rarely even cuddling.
I've told her repeatedly I'm feeling very sexually frustrated because I haven't been able to do anything with myself since then and she hasn't wanted to do anything. Im finding myself very depressed, with much less temper control, and just on edge in general. I've tried communicating the issue with her and I've tried being romantic. Breaking up isn't an option as i know that shes the one but I feel like I'm going crazy over my physical needs not being met. What do I do? | My one year relationship with my true love has lost its physical intimacy, I feel very sexually frustrated, I've talked about these feelings with my SO, and I've tried to be romantic. What do I do? |
t3_1gn8io | relationships | Me[31/F] with my boyfriend[26M] for a year and a half, could he be thinking of marrying me? | I ask because my boyfriend has been behaving particularly smitten with me lately, and the other day, while we were having an incredibly romantic date "day", he mentioned weddings, wives, and marriage in his casual conversations with me a lot more than usual... and I mean a *lot* more than usual because he never talks about marriage and he brought it up at least eight times in completely unrelated convos. I also want to add that he never once referred to himself or his personal feelings about weddings, always talking about it in reference to other people. Kind of weird. Made me wonder if it might be on his mind?
For example, talk about a project he is working on ended up in a story about a particularly awesome, nerdy wedding that he thought was hilarious and amazing. He would also do things like bring up recent weddings of friends, or tell me that so and so has a wife, ect.
He and I have a very very strong, passionate connection that is like best friends + playmates + awesome amazing sex. It's kind of perfect. But he has never once told me how he feels about marriage, not seeming like the marrying "type", although he has "joked" about marrying me before. I say "joked" because he could of been serious, but I assumed it was a joke because I was too shy to ask or think otherwise.
I don't know. Maybe I am looking to deeply into it. He doesn't really seem to be hinting at anything, as far as I can tell, but maybe guys do this sort of thing when they are thinking about it but don't feel comfortable enough to talk about it?
Anyway, any insight is welcome.
And for the record, I would totally marry him. I've never told him that, too shy, too afraid he wouldn't be interested, but I would do it in a heartbeat. | Boyfriend is talking about weddings and married people more than usual lately in casual conversation, and it makes me wonder if it's because he's thinking about marrying me. |
t3_1u75lr | loseit | I was gonna post this NSV today, but typed it up for a comment. Posting anyway. | So, I'm older, and have been super thin, and pretty damn big (two pregnancies, both with significant weight gain). Here's what I JUST realized after 2.5 decades of eating disorders and now just over three years in recovery.
Ya know how the weight just kinda creeeeps on? Like, ya don't really notice till one day, you go put something on and it doesn't fit? Well, that's the healthy way to lose weight.
1/2 lb or 1 lb a week, or three lbs a month, over time. The same way it creeps on, is the same way it should be lost. Poor choices made consistently over time equals weight gain and a sedentary lifestyle. Good choices made consistently over time equals weight loss and an active lifestyle.
Well, Goodgrrl, you say durrrrrr....
But it really crystallized for me when I looked in the mirror today, turning this way and that, wondering if I look smaller, wondering if I should weigh myself today or wait for Sunday, wondering what size jeans I'll fit into when I shop tomorrow...that is EXACTLY how my mind works when I am gaining. In the past, I would go so hard and lose so fast, I could see it immediately. Then it would creeep back on :/ Fuck that, dude.
Just to clarify, I'm not dieting. Which is hard for someone with an eating disorder, *I want to restrict, severely, and work out two hours a day.* However, doing that for so long broke my metabolism, so now, I'm relearning how to be normal, and teaching my body to trust me again. Staying in the sweet spot between maintenance and deprivation is challenging, but emotionally and physiologically healthy. | make it opposite day, everyday, and go about your life. Wake up one day, not overweight and sedentary. |
t3_26e79l | Advice | My girlfriends mom saw our messages | So I'm a sophomore in high school, and my girlfriend of 5 months is a freshman (we're about a year and 8 months apart). Her mom looked through her Facebook messages and found messages about our sneaking around when they weren't home, etc. etc. (we haven't had sex yet, but we've done lesser sexual things). She took her out on a walk and yelled at her for 5 minutes, and then calmed down and took a rational approach to things. Basically, she wants my girl (call her Wendy) to break up with me, because I'm too old and I'm pressuring her sexually.
As it turns out, she never told me that she felt pressured, and if she ever said that she didn't want me to do something, I would immediately stop, but the mere fact that I wanted to do certain things cause her to convince herself that it would make me happy, and even if she was a bit uncomfortable she'd do it anyways. She said that she doesn't want to break up, but she also wants to take things back a step physically for a while. The thing is (and I know you'll laugh), I want to go further physically, and while I haven't been pressuring her at all, it's at the point that stepping it back, while I could do it and manage, would make me....hormonally crazy. I'm turning 17 in about 4.5 months. I'm at that point in my life that, while I don't HAVE to, and plenty of people DON'T, I simply want to get laid (I sound like such a scumbag). The reason that might make me want to end things is that I fear that I'd end up pressuring her more than before, especially with new restrictions. I also can't stand the fact of her mom (who loved me before) looking at me and seeing me as the boy who defiled her child, because truth be told, I really like her mom. We're meeting and talking it over tonight....PLEASE help me... | My girlfriend's mom saw our messages, and now I have to choose between taking a step back physically, which would make me go hormonally insane, or break up with her, which I would hate to do. |
t3_26j4f6 | relationships | [17/F] GF is extremely emotional and Bipolar, and I [18/M] am not. | My GF and I have been together for over 2 years now. We've been through a lot together, which meant we have a VERY strong love and bond.
I am very emotionally unresponsive. I don't get easily upset, I don't ever get sad even when confronted with hard-pressing situations, and I just tend not to get emotional.
My GF, however, is the polar opposite. She has Bipolar as well as Fibromayalgia, which equates to her being in pain constantly. She has a very hard life, and is struggling with depression. She is extremely emotional, and tends to get upset at anything she can. She dwells on subjects and cant move on emotionally.
I feel like I always have to be there for her, to be a shoulder to cry on, but I can't. I honestly can't stand being that person, I'm just to unemotional to do it. It puts a it of stress on me, and i don't know if I can take it.
We broke up about a week ago for the above reasons, but she still thinks we have a chance. She claims that she can get better, that she can find help elsewhere other than from me. She's deadset on staying with me that she'll do anything. She claims that a medication for Fibromayalgia she's on made her very emotionally jumpy, another problem in our relationship. She would get angry or upset extremely quickly with no warning. She is stopping that medication and thinks she'll be like she used to be, much more stable.
However, i think that no matter what we do now, our relationship won't work out. I think there's too much emotionally variance between us, and eventually it will be a problem again. I want to get back with her, I still love her, but I think that no matter what, it won't work out in the end. Our relationship is just a ticking timebomb. | Too much emotional variance, she claims we can get better and improve, but I don't think it'll ever work out in the end. |
t3_3n1vdj | relationships | My gf [24 F] gained a lot of weight this past year and I'm [24 M] not as attracted to her | I almost didn't write this up here because I'm afraid of getting a bunch of hate about "accept her for who she is" and all. But it's a problem I've been working on solving (with that idea included) for several months now and I don't really now what to do.
my gf and I have been together a little over a year and when we met she was in decent shape, slender, and I loved her body. In the last year, she's put on about 40 lbs and although we are more like good friends now, I barely want to have sex with her. It's not like she's gross or anything, but I'm just "not into it."
I've been trying to look past it for a while. I feel like a shallow asshole, but still the issue remains. I try to get her to work out and change her diet, and I even set the example, but we live separately and she has a kid and a job too, so her time is full and she eats like crap (full of carbs and sugars).
I'm in decent shape myself, so it's not like I'm the pot calling the kettle black. At this point the thought has occurred to me that I don't want to go on like this. I think it's causing a chasm to grow between us, but I also just don't want to live the rest of my life with someone who I don't find all that attractive.
Anyone ever have this happen to them? Help! | GF gained 40+lbs and I don't want to do the sex. Feel like an asshole, but need to figure out a solution. |
t3_47psbi | relationships | Me [20F] with my ex [19F], she never really liked me and I'm still hurt | So let me preface this with saying I don't blame my ex for this situation. I'm not mad at her at all and I think I'm over her as a person, but not over what I'm going to tell you.
About a year back I fell in love with a girl and after months of debating what I should do, I told her. To my absolute joy she was willing to try a relationship. The first month I was terrified she was going to break up with me any day, but when that didn't happen, I got more comfortable. I must admit I ignored some things that indicated I liked her way more than she liked me. I was so happy, however. Then she broke up with me 3 months in.
She told me she was still figuring out her sexuality and we clearly wanted different things in a relationship and she was right. It still broke my heart so much. I went no contact for a while and I think I'm over her as a person now, but not over the fact that she must have questioning our relationship the whole time, while I was so in love. Everytime the happy memories come back, I feel like they were not real and I'm terrified of this happening again. What can I do to get over this? | had a girlfriend, she broke up with me saying she was still questening her sexuality, was never sure about the relationship. I'm terrified of this happening again, how do I get over this? |
t3_14kn03 | relationship_advice | [M/18] Back with ex [F/18], she has more "experience" now. | First and foremost, thank you for reading this wall of text. I appreciate any opinion anyone can put forward and the time you put forth responding :).
So to make a long story short, me and my girlfriend broke up this summer and she went out with another guy a few weeks later. Me and her had been going out for around 2 1/2 years and just started to become sexually active. As two virgins, we were just doing what we thought was right and we were pretty content with what was happening. Anyway, she breaks up with me and I was heartbroken for months. I really cared about her and we had been through a ton together to get to the point of where we are at.
Well, one of the things she likes is sex. A lot. I do not have an issue with that (as believe it or not... I do too! lol), but now that she has been with someone else she told me that she has learned a lot more and the sex we were having wasn't very good. I actually can agree, because when we ended up doing it again over thanksgiving it was the best sex we had ever had. Unfortunately most of the time she was telling me what to do and I felt like I was lost the whole time. She has told me about how she thinks I am going to get better, but I have been anxious this whole time about it. She has said that she can't be with someone who isn't good at sex, even though I assume that she was joking when she said that.
I don't feel unconfident about anything else really. I have a great body and I treat her amazingly, this is the only thing that I feel like I am worried about and that bothers me. Regardless Reddit, what do you think? Should I be worried about all of this? Or will it eventually work itself out the more we do it? | My girlfriend has a lot more sexual experience then me. Should I feel anxious about comparisons with the old guy/my abilities? Is there anything I can do about this really? |
t3_108bva | AskReddit | Tomorrow I'm hooking up with a friend who has a boyfriend. We've been hitting on each other for months and it has become inevitable. What's your "breaking the bro code" story? | So this is the thing. I've met her on college the past semester and we hit it on almost instantly. I had a girlfriend at the time and she had a boyfriend too, so we just kept it at that. There's been this underlying sexual tension that we didn't care to avoid and it has escalated to a point of no return. She's been throwing me hints all the past months, inviting me over friday nights, calling me from the bathtub, touching me, long stares, etc. I played fool for as long as I could but I just don't give a fuck anymore. So I finally gave up and agreed to see her tomorrow night. It's pretty clear for the things we said to each other what's going to happen, and I started wondering about the bro code thing, thinking what if I was on the other side. So Reddit, what's your "breaking the bro code" story? | fucking my friend from college tomorrow, she has a boyfriend, I just don't give a fuck...or actually I will, there's a pun in there somewere... |
t3_4kr9hl | relationships | How to get my SO (25M) to keep up the sex life in our LDR? | My LDR boyfriend doesn't want to engage in any kind of sexual activity with me when we are apart. No sexting, phone sex, naughty pics, links to porn videos or erotica, no video-fun. I need men who are also not keen on this to give me some insight and tips.
My boyfriend (25M) and I (23F) actually met on exchange in China and have dated almost a year with him coming to Canada twice for 3 weeks each time and me living with him for three months in Germany recently.
When we are in person, he can't seem to get enough of me and our libidos match perfectly. But when we are apart like now (for four months) he does not want to do anything kinda sexual. I am shy and he is the only guy I have dated/have sex with, but I sent him a few sexy pictures, to which the most he replied is "thanks". He said he is worried that the pictures get leaked (we don't even see my face!).
After I sexted him and got no answer (and freaked out) he told me he was uncomfortable with sexting. I told him I could send him messages and he could simply put a smiley face or something. I asked him what he would be more comfortable with, to which he said phone. So I tried a few times via phone and he changed topics. I tried sending him gifs of porn without a response.
I love him so much and I know he loves me and he finds me attractive and misses me. I also fully trust him not to cheat on me. We talk every day and try to skype for an hour every two or three days.
Am I crazy to still want more? I just feel frustrated and like I am corrupting this sweet virgin (which he is most definitely NOT). For once I feel awkward and not confident. I am scared I will flip out and do something I regret. What should I do? Not make it such a big deal and just wait until we are reunited? Any way I can make him a little bit kinkier? | BF in LDR does not want to engage in any kind of virtual sexual activity with me while we are apart. Need advice from you, kind people of reddit. |
t3_1zz7dn | relationship_advice | [29/f] My wife [31/f] and I are not sure how to respond to her sibling's [18/f] college choices. | My wife (whom I'll refer to as Jen) and I expressed a desired to help her sister (whom I'll refer to as Lisa) with college expenses over a year ago. We didn't state the amount or how exactly we wanted to help Lisa.
Now, Lisa has only applied to one school. A small conservative christian school that requires their students to sign a lifestyle agreement that expressly forbids homosexual activity. The school has a history of actively enforcing the lifestyle agreement, expelling LGBT students. We brought this policy to Lisa's attention. She immediately acted shocked and so we decided to not push the issue and allow her to make her own choices. It has been months now and Lisa has not applied to any other schools and last night we received an email from her mother saying that Lisa will be attending the school.
I was livid. Not only is Lisa okay with this policy but she didn't even have the courage to tell us herself. Jen was more optimistic, saying the door was still open for discussion but the truth is it is too late for Lisa to apply anywhere else.
Jen and I would be more okay with this decision if there was a legitimate reason for her choice like high academic ranking, a particular academic program, athletic opportunities or scholarships but none of these reasons exist. It isn't even a smart financial decision, the school costs $40K more a semester than the state equivalent.
I don't want to push Jen away from her family because I love her and think it is really important to have a good relationship with one's family but I can't believe Lisa and her parent's would still expect us to help and support her after picking a school that is fundamentally opposed to our relationship. Is it reasonable for me to cut ties to her family and to push Jen to be more assertive? Or are we being zealous LGBT advocates? | Wife's sister wants to go to an anti-gay school. The entire family seems okay with that. I don't know what the right reaction is. |
t3_vml9j | AskReddit | Reddit, I'm at the beginning of a 6 hour drive with some people I barely know and I HAVE TO FART so bad. PLEASE Help. What do I do?!? | As I sit here in silent agony, I can't help but grimace every time the car slams over a bump in the road and hope I dont shit myself in the process of writing this. I'm carpooling with an acquaintance and his dad on a 6 hour drive. We sit in awkward silence and with every bump in the road, my stomach starts to gurgle and churn.
*Oh shit.* ***OH SHIT.***
My bowels expand with the force of millions of shit-fart particles pushing up against my rectum. Screaming in protest, my sphincter constricts tighter than a fat woman at a michael jackson concert. I'm stuck.
I need some serious help, reddit. They don't speak very fluent english and I dont think I could bear the shame of silence for the rest of the trip if I unleash this God of a flatulation.
WHAT DO I DO?!? | Must unleash mother of all farts on a 6 hour road trip with no stops, in a car full of people who speak little english. HELP. |
t3_4csetd | relationships | 21 M with 21F, Liking her less. | Long distance with gf, which will be ending fairly soon. Gf hates work, and the only conversations we have are about this. I am very busy at the moment and while we still see each other every single weekend, sometimes i do have to work for some of the time (nothing can be done about this).
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Problem is that we argue more and more these days. Over how i apparently don't care about her hating her job (admittedly i struggle to given how its the same complaints every day and nothing can be done. She cannot leave until after summer but will when she can). This leads to us arguing and bickering over small things, and recently I find myself being completely unable to even stand her voice. Even the way she talks and acts just pisses me off to be honest.
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Reddit, should I end this relationship? Or take a break? I did love her loads, but I'm struggling to love her as much recently with all the tensions between us. The idea of us breaking up does not break my heart... i think. | Getting along far less with gf. Still love her but not sure what to do about the constant irritation and tension. |
t3_2qtnsg | relationships | Me [22/M] with my fiance [25/F], she still has a tattoo for her ex husband on the back of her neck. | So I'm about to marry this woman. Excellent girl. We have our differences here and there. But I know I want to be with her for the rest of my life. The only problem is that she still has her ex husbands tattoo on the back of her neck. She got married before when she was young and she tells me she regrets it every moment. For the most part I just shove it in the back of my head. (I understand its not healthy) But it bothers me still because I'm about to get married to her and I'm going to have that to constantly remind me that she has been married before. I've never been married. Every time it gets brought up though she gets depressed. And tells me it was a mistake. She told me before when we first started dating that she didn't want to get it removed because its part of her past. She's considered it before though. But I feel bad of I told her or asked her to get it covered up/removed because it is a part of her past. | My SO has a tattoo of her ex husband on her neck. It bothers me. I would feel bad if I asked her to remove it. I need advice. Please help and thank you for reading. |
t3_h2jo3 | AskReddit | Wife's "friend" is stealing money. Looking for advice. | So my wife has a friend that I will call Julie. My wife and Julie have been friends for about 6 years if I remember correctly. Julie is a shit friend in my opinion and I have told the wife my feelings. When they lived together Julie would start physical fights with my wife and spat on my wife's face once. Now when Julie comes over to our house there is a 98% chance that something will be broken or really really dirty when she leaves.
Julie does not have any other good close friends in our town and her closest family is 5 hours away. I am thinking that is why my wife doesn't get rid of Julie. About 7 months ago we were all outside and Julie said that she needed to go inside to use the restroom. As we stood outside I noticed that our bedroom light turned on, stayed on for less than a minute, and then went off.
Later that night after Julie left the wife and I went inside and the wife discovered that her purse had been moved and that she was missing $20. I looked at my stuff and my checkbook had been moved. The only other person in our house that night was Julie and she was alone inside our house.
On Saturday my wife went shopping with Julie. Again for some reason my wife left her purse with Julie alone. Today my wife was trying to buy gas and is now missing $30.
Before Julie started to steal from us her car battery died and she called us. Stupidly I paid for and installed a new one for her. I still haven't been paid back for that $87.
I am trying to figure out if it is time for me to say something to Julie or do I let the wife handle it? | My wife's "friend" is a 2 faced stealing worthless bitch. Do I say something or let the wife continue to handle it? |
t3_2zp50j | offmychest | I don't want to die alone and not knowing what love feels like. | I'm so lonely. I've never ever experienced being in love and being in a relationship. I haven't even had my first kiss. I've been approached multiple times but..
I'm still pretty young (16) and I told my parents that I wanted to focus on my studies instead of dating. (My parents would like that also) Sure, part of me wants that but it hurts and I feel so lonely. I don't have a close relationship with my family so I haven't really felt love in that sense either.
I'm just so tired of being alone and I want a boyfriend to experience all that but paet of me wants to focus on growing into an independent woman and being the best I can. I don't know anymore, I'm just so detached emotionally. I really don't want to die alone and not knowing what love feels like. | i dont want to feel this feeling of loneliness and emptiness anymore but i also want to focus on my studies and career |
t3_30rz7q | relationships | Im [16m] she [16f] i cant stop thinking about her and don't know what to do. | So my ex girlfriend alex broke up with me because she had a boyfriend. I found out about this later after she broke up with me. They had a fight right when I started talking to her which is why she gave me a shot but then something happened and she went back to him. He is 21 so the relationship is illegal but I dont think I should get in the way of that.
So heres where the problem is I cant stop thinking of her and its been around 3 weeks sience we broke up. No matter what I do I still think of what it would be like if we were doing it together.
So our relationship lasted about a mounth plus about 2 weeks of friendship before I asked her out. Other then the having a boyfriend she had everything I wanted in a relationship. In this mouth we got close to having sex (for me it would have been losing my virginity).
So I need advice on how to get her back or how to get over her. | I cant stop thinking of my ex and I need advice on how to get her back or how to get over her. |
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