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t3_sd3kx | AskReddit | Reddit, my roommate has begun regularly leaving me passive aggressive notes. Should I get back at him or is it even worth it? | As the title says, my roommate is a child. About a two months ago he hid our coffee pot in his room because I had forgotten to rinse it out (once!) at 5am on my way to work, despite the fact that he regularly neglects to do so. Furthermore, in recent weeks he's become fond of leaving TYPED notes in plain view in our kitchen every time I break one of his unspoken rules. The most recent example came this morning, when I must've done an inadequate job of rinsing out my coffee cup and the plate that I ate my muffin off of, resulting in him printing out a note that read: "Please rinse dishes and WASH all pots and pans so that they don't have shit on them".
I'm fed up with this shit. Reddit, I'm a responsible adult; I take care of my shit and in general do a pretty great job of cleaning up after myself, despite the rare occasions like today when I leave for work at 5 am and don't have much time to scrub the kitchen until it sparkles. Am I being unreasonable? Should I even bother trying to get back at him, or just keep ignoring it? I only live with him for another five weeks, but I'm getting really angry. | My roommate is an asshole who loves to type up passive aggressive notes that let him know I've broken a rule. Should I try to exact my revenge, or is it even worth it? |
t3_u1gr4 | self | Apparently I get extremely depressed when I drink...help? | Hello reddit, 20/f here.
My love-of-my-life type boyfriend is leaving in a month to go to boot camp. I've been very supportive of him and never once told him I didn't want him to go...
...until I drank around him.
The first time we were alone in his apartment. He had Guinness in his fridge and offered me some. I don't remember exactly what happened, but apparently I cried and begged him not to go.
The second time was visiting some of his family. They offered me some wine. He begged me not to drink, that I act "really immature and out of line" when I drink. I laughed him off and had a glass and a half of wine (I'm an extreme lightweight). Apparently I, again, begged him to stay with me and to not leave.
I know this hurt my boyfriend a lot, and I really don't want to act this way. It's not how I feel about him leaving, and I don't know why I apparently turn into this mopey version of myself.
Reddit, is there any way I can still enjoy a glass of wine like a normal human being without bursting into tears? Or should I just abstain all together when we're at social functions. I am turning 21 when he's gone, and I don't want whoever hangs out with me to deal with this dr. jekyll/Mr. hyde version of myself. | I turn into a depressive loser after just one glass of wine or beer, and would like to find a way to change that. |
t3_35gi86 | relationships | I [22 M] want to take my relationship with my best friend [25 F] of three years to the next level. Advice? | I have a great relationship with my best friend, we hang out almost daily, sit together in every class we share, and go out together at least three time a week. We share social circles and friends, and are both officers in the same school organization. She immediately got along with my family when they first met, and they won't stop talking about her.
Two nights ago we were both drunk, and I told her I have feelings for her. She told me that she sometimes wishes that we actually had what we pretend to have. I then kissed her and she responded in kind.
Since then, we have talked about it, but she says she doesn't want to ruin the relationship that we currently have. I told her that I don't want to lose that either, but that I can't just stop liking her. The problem I'm facing is that I want to start dating, but in a week I'll be starting an internship 1000 miles away, and wont be back for three months. She doesn't know that I want to date, just that I like her.
Next semester is her last, and my second to last. Do I tell her that I want something more when I get back? Do I tell her before I leave? She is the most important person in my life right now and I don't want to lose that. | I want to date my best friend, but I'm about to leave for the summer, and don't want to lose the friendship that we currently have. |
t3_2gyklb | tifu | TIFU by not telling my friends that my Mom was in my room | So this weekend my mom decided to come up to New Hampshire to attend some meetings and to check in on me (I go to a boarding school.) So we had a wonderful dinner, and then she came back to help clean up my room. As we were having a conversation about my younger sisters, my friends barge in.
"Munzini, you're a whore!" one yells, my mom stuck behind the door.
"Lol stop masturbating!" another says.
My mum's face gapes wide open. After what seems like an eternity my friends see my mom and mouth "Oh fuck."
"Uhh..." one stammers, "so sorry!" and they run back down the hallway.
When the door closes, my mom gives me a look of mild shock.
"WHAT did they call you?"
I swallow. "A whore..."
She slowly nods her head and asks for the vacuum. My stomach feels sick from embarrassment. | Mom came to visit me @ high school. Didn't tell friends. They barged in and called me a whore. My conservative mother looks at me strangely. I feel extremely embarrassed. |
t3_nfxmo | relationships | BF lying about quitting drugs. :T Need help! | Hi, /r/Relationships! I need your help!! See, a little while ago, my BF asked me out of the blue if I didn't really like him smoking pot. He's a decently heavy user and I'm mega light, probably around five times a year total, so I'm not totally against it. I told him that I didn't really like it, but didn't really care that much in general and that he didn't have to change his behavior. He got really sulky and moody and acted like I'd told him I'd break up with him if he didn't quit cold turkey, but he insisted that he was going to stop because he didn't want to do something I didn't like. He even made a big show out of giving his pipe, stash can, and all his pot to his little brother. I told him that I'd stop drinking, too, since I found it only fair to give up something that really upset him, and we went from there.
Well, on my part, I haven't had any liquor or drugs since then, even at parties. I assumed he was doing the same. Periodically he would even make comments about missing it and how his smoke buddy didn't really understand. This weekend he had to go on a trip out of town and packed a backpack and suitcase, and forgot his phone charger in his car last minute. I told him I'd get it, but couldn't find his keys, so I looked in his backpack. Well, there I found everything he'd given his brother, plus a little extra more. I asked him about why he had it when he'd said he quit and gave everything away, and he said that it was for a friend that he was going on the trip with, and not for him. I feel like I don't have trust in him because I look at that as the oldest excuse in the book. Should I drop it, and just trust that he's not lying, or am I right to have doubts here? | My BF shows up with all his paraphernalia that he gave away and said it's for a friend, but I don't believe him. |
t3_1zs7er | relationships | I've [22 F] been dating someone [23 M] who doesn't know my past sexual abuse history | So I've known this guy for about a year now and we started dating a month ago. Things are going really well, except we haven't done more than kiss here and there because anything more and I jump right back into the moment it happened.
The thing is we've been flirting around innuendo for a while and one of my ways of coping after it happened was to make jokes about sex or sexual situations. Now I'm afraid if we start getting hot and heavy and I stop him it'll send mixed messages or even scare him off. It's a ridiculous fear, I know, but I can't help but have it.
I've tried bringing it up to past boyfriends and the reception...hasn't always been great. It usually makes things horribly awkward and the relationship ends soon afterwards. So when/if/how should I mention this without ruining it? | I'm dating someone, we haven't had sex yet, and I don't know how or when to tell him the reason we haven't is because I've been sexually abused in the past |
t3_l82pc | AskReddit | I got drunk came home and told my crazy suitmate that It would be funny if I fucked his sister. | No recollection of saying this to him but none the less, as confirmed by multiple sources I did say it. He is pissed off and told me he was going to "fuck me up" and retaliate. His go-to prank is putting stuff in my bed which is a pain in the ass because its a raised loft bed. He doesn't have many friends and never goes out, while I am almost never in the room. What is the best course of action from this point, and if he does something how should I retaliate.
(I don't think he is a threat to actually hurt me even though he could. I suspect he is just going to pull of some prank). | I got drunk and told my suitmate who talks about his sister all the time that I thought it would be funny if I fucked her, he is overreacting and is pissed. |
t3_4cx1ec | jobs | Need some help deciding between two job offers. | I was let go over a month ago and have been struggling to find a job. I decided to cut my salary expectations down a bit and have been offered two jobs. They are both temporary options until I find something with better financial growth.
The first is pet sitting and dog walking. The nice thing about this is that I could keep it on the side once I found a full time gig. It pays $10.60 per half hour visit. I could get up to 20 visits a day plus the perk of being out and about and dealing with mainly animals and not people. I've verb told clients also like to tip and give gifts. So I'd have that going for me. Only issue here is that it's not guaranteed to be a full book all the time and I'd be an independent contractor. So I'd owe money come tax season. But the hours are flexible and I created a schedule around my daughters life so it's nice.
The second offer is at a convenience store. The hours are guaranteed full time but the schedule is awful. I'd have to find someone to take my kid to school every day and to watch her on the weekends for full days. No fun. It does have great benefits, but I've heard it's hard to grow there unless you know someone which I do not. It pays $10 per hour at 9 hour shifts. I've heard from many that is soul crushing and the customers can make or break your day.
So do I go with the one that's more risky but has more earning potential or the one that's "safe" but time and life consuming? | I have two job opportunities. One that's financially risky but has earning potential and one that's safe but soul crushing. Which would you choose? |
t3_2040id | AskReddit | How does the U.S.A. government monitor pot sales and collect taxes from it? | I was watching a documentary (mostly about Colorado) and the recent legalization of marijuana for recreational use. They said that (in that state at least) it is a cash only sale, since it is still a federal offense to sell marijuana. One of the shop owners said according to the government, what they do is basically money laundering. So, my question is, that if this is an all cash business, how does the local government know exactly how much is sold and how much they are due in taxes? I understand this is probably very heavily regulated, but I'm just wondering with something generating this much revenue, are there any holes in the system somewhere, and do some shops evade paying taxes on at least some portion of their income. Sorry if this has become a bit convoluted... | How does the government know exactly how much they are due in taxes in an all cash business such as marijuana sales in Colorado? |
t3_1d3noy | AskReddit | What ways have your friends / other people deliberately cock blocked you? [NSFW] | My story takes place several years ago and is more of a semi-cockblock since I have a girlfriend and nothing was going to happen anyway.
One night, several years ago, my friends and I got together and did a little partying. We started out at a bar pounding drinks like we normally do. We leave the bar and decide to go to a friends house and hang out in his pool and continue drinking. Things are getting crazy. People are in and out of the pool basically doing whatever. While i'm in the pool, a female friend is in the pool with me and for some reason (can't remember, maybe someone told her to do it) she lifts up her bikini top and flashes her double D tits at me. This is where the cock block part comes in. Another friend (male) is also in the pool and witnesses her flashing her tits at me and he begins to splash and hit me with a barrage of water to the point that I can't see a thing (I also wear glasses). She wasn't going to flash forever so naturally she put them away and to this day I haven't seen her tits. | My friend flashed her double D tits at me and my other friend deliberately splashed water in my face so I wouldn't be able to see. |
t3_3x74xj | tifu | TIFU: By letting my Mum's casket be buried the wrong way round. | It's been 10 years now since my Mum passed but at her burial I noticed that the undertaker seemed to bury her the wrong way round - her feet at the headstone end and head down the wrong end. I didn't say anything about it at the time and no one else seemed to notice. After about 3 months I finally mentioned it to my older brother and he got quite upset at the concept. I used to get a bit of a laugh out of it as I thought people must think I was pretty odd when they would see me talking to my mothers feet rather than her headstone!! My brother contacted the undertaker with the view to getting her 'turned round' I was happy to let her rest in peace. Anyway we got a reply and it turns out she was buried the right way round in accordance with Christian(?) beliefs. She is facing East so as to see the second coming of Jesus - or something like that. Again I just found this amusing more than anything - the idea of people looking the wrong way and missing the whole second coming - he's behind you (panto style!
So in any cemetery on one side of a row of gravestones all the heads are at the headstone area and on the opposite side they are like my mum.
I really hope I haven't been conned on this lol | Thought I'd allowed my mum to be buried the wrong way round but later found it was correct but just a little known fact. |
t3_2am8oo | needadvice | I want to know how to find a career | I graduated in 2012 with a degree in Business and a focus on international business. I studied abroad during college, and liked it so much I returned to that country to teach English for a year for my first year after college. When I got back to the states the summer of '13 I wanted to get a job in international business. I looked for a bit and didn't find anything. I thought about joining the military but decided against it. I ended up being unemployed until november when I got a car sales job, but I quit that after a week. I hated sales so much. I found my next job February. I worked as a receptionist in a doctors office. My duties included answering telephones, calling in prescriptions, writing letters, setting appointments, among other general office work.
I just turned 24 and I know something needs to change. This part time work doesn't even give me enough money to move out of my parents house.
I want to find a good job working for an actual corporation where I can start and climb my way up a ladder. I lack experience though, and I don't know where to find it. Despite my education, I honestly don't know what positions to look for. I literally thought businessman was a title. Looking through the job boards though they are all for analysts, engineers, administrators. Things I know nothing about.
I'd like to find something in international business. Maybe something like shipping or tourism or a big industry like mining or logging. I don't know. I just really want something with stability and which offers the opportunity to move up. Should I go back to school? Maybe if I get a different degree, say in accounting or another hard skill I'd be more employable. But then I'd have more debt and I still wouldn't be able to move out and live like a 24 year-old adult. | 24 year old '12 business graduate wants a career and to move out of his parents basement. Any advice? What are a series of steps I ccan follow which will give me a stable and lucrative career? |
t3_3cfi56 | offmychest | Feeling lonely when I shouldn't.. | So to give a bit of insight in to why I have felt lonely I'll have to give a bit of background about myself and the past few days or so when this feeling has started to become more apparent.
Naturally as a person I always find myself to be the one who listens to everyone else's issues but I am never able to articulate my issues/feelings to very many people in my life, in fact there have been two. One of which was my closest friend in my teenage years who sadly passed away from a stroke, the other is a close friend who became more than that and then it just didn't work out due to immaturity and being young.
Now the reason why this feeling loneliness has grown is that in the past few days myself and said close friend mentioned above and I had started messaging again and we started to catch up with what we'd done since we last spoke which had been a couple of years. This happened for most of the weekend. What we'd spoke about during these past few days or so has been was about us, as friends and maybe more and we mentioned how we both enjoyed the time we shared together as it was incredibly intimate then she brought up about the possibly of trying it again when she was back in my area (she travels the country) and I immediately agreed. Now coming to yesterday we spoke rarely due our working nature, I work 9-5 and she works long hours and in this time I realised that I hadn't opened up to anyone like I had with her and this made me feel incredibly lonely yet I have plenty of close friends and family but I had this feeling deep my gut that I was lonely due to not expressing myself appropriately.
So I would really like some advice on how I can help open myself up more to friends and family then I do currently. | Spoke to an old friend, realised I hadn't opened up to people like I did with her which led to me feeling very alone. |
t3_1iaey2 | jobs | First time internship hunting - What does "encouraged to apply" in the job description imply? | Hey guys,
So this is my first time hunting for internships. I'm in Australia, and i'm applying for a 'research internship' with a university for a project in electricity energy market economics (price forecasting). It's niche, and i really want (need remains to be seen) this particular research internship.
So the 'job description' states that "those with a WAM of or above 75 are encouraged to apply" (WAM = Weighted Average Mark, for those in the US). Does that mean that they will accept only those with a WAM above 75? Or is it simply advantageous? What does that phrase imply? (i'm asking in general and in the above context)
Thanks for answering guys. | Asking what "encouraged to apply" generally implies in a job (internship) description. Specifically the phrase "those with a WAM of or above 75 are encouraged to apply" |
t3_28ihjt | relationships | Me [20 M] breaking up with my girlfriend [ 18 F] 5 months (sort of), because she "Isn't ready for a relationship." | I had been in an emotionally abusive relationship for several months now.
I was constantly shut down from showing my girlfriend emotion because it annoyed her. During that time she would get distant from me and do things like make me jealous of her friendship with her ex who is now her obsessive friend zone. I didn't leave her for fear of being alone, something I have been the majority of my life. (Not just relationships but family and friends as well.) She tells me she can't stop thinking about her ex when she is with me suddenly and she drops me saying she "Isn't ready for a relationship." I basically lost her to some angsty, poetry writing depressed guy. I was never allowed tell her how I feel about things without being guilt tripped. My question is how should I feel? A pep-talk would be great. | Girlfriend would get annoyed when I expressed a little emotion to her. Then she breaks up with me for her obsessed ex now friend zoned. I just need a stern talking to I think. |
t3_1t5az2 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my crush at work [19 F] developed crush on her and never been on a date before | I am using a throwaway because a lot of people know my actual account, and I don't want certain people seeing this.
We both started working at our store back in September. We were partnered up for the first month or so, and then we were sent into our different departments. My crush only started to develop in the past month, after I stopped working with her.
The only time I see her now is when were scheduled shifts around the same time, and that's only when I cut through her department to go to my own, or when we're on breaks at the same time.
She used to sit beside me or across from me in our break room, even if there were a ton of other free spots or people to sit with, until about 2 weeks ago. She'd always turn her chair towards me, at an angle if she sat beside me, and we'd chat about random stuff.
I messaged her over facebook asking her for her number when we were chatting one night, most of her messages she took a few minutes to respond to. With the number, she responded immediately, like as soon as I sent it, she replied. I texted her outside of work, but she'd never contribute to the conversation like she would in the break room, and reply usually with one word answers.
Despite her many mixed signals, I finally grew a pair today and texted her what her schedule was for the rest of the week (yes, I know Christmas is a week away) in hopes of asking her out for coffee this weekend if she is available. I don't want to ask her at work, because there are normally a lot of people around and I didn't want to put her on the spot and make it awkward for her.
What is some advice if/when she says yes to coffee? I've never been on a date before and I'm going crazy with nervousness.
On the flip side, what if she is to busy to hang out? I can't ask for her schedule again next week or the week after, can I? | Crushing on my coworker for 2 weeks, asking her out once she replies, need advice for 1.) If she says yes, and 2.) If she's busy. Never been on a date before. |
t3_32e50j | relationship_advice | Is there any way to win her back? | My wife just left me, she has said that she is unhappy and believes I am unhappy. We haven't had the best relationship, but we are incredibly compatible. Even through this separation we are best friends. I think the reason she left is that I have a habit of shutting down my emotions. It's a lot like the song *Narcolepsy* by Ben Folds Five. Whenever I get upset or happy I go to 'sleep'. How do I overcome this? I know I need to to grow as a person, and I don't want to do this just to get her back. I need to learn how to navigate and express my own emotions.
She also feels like she needs to take care of herself. But, in reality, I know I need to learn how to not be such a pushover. I never consider my own opinion whenever someone asks if I can do something or help them, I go with the super logical, 'am I capable of that?' and answer accordingly. I need to learn how to modify my internal scripting to ask, 'do I actually want to do X, even if I am perfectly capable?'. I need to learn this for myself, I know it won't help **me** if I am externally motivated by the loss of her, but I cannot deny the catalyst effect her departure has had.
But still, she is my favorite person and I am not ready to give up on her. I know it isn't my fault she left, but I truly want her back, any advice. | How do I show her I really do care, I really want to grow for myself. Bonus points: how can I be more romantic? |
t3_3r7rxq | relationships | It's such a struggle to get my girlfriend (21F) of 3 years to go on a date with me (21M). | We're seniors in college, and we don't have a lot of money. We're also introverted and don't have a lot of friends. We live together and spend most of our time with each other. I don't see her all the time, since we have different majors and such, but we are together for a decent amount of time every day.
My girlfriend is very much a homebody, and for the most part so am I. But she barely wants to go out at all, she always makes excuses. To her credit, most of the excuses are pretty valid, like money and transportations. We're broke college students and most things cost a decent amount of money. But there are a lot of limits as to what she will do.
Her favorite dates are daytime ones, where we go on walks or eat out or do things like that. She likes spending as little money as possible. She refuses to go to a movie theater, and even though she loves plays, she fights it for a while because they're so expensive. She also feels that there's nothing to do at night (we don't drink) so if it's after 5 pm she doesn't want to go anywhere. She also thinks going out more than once a week is 'a lot', even though we have plenty of free time.
On my end, this is starting to affect our sex life. I'm just not in the mood as much any more because we're just sitting around all the time. She takes it really personally and thinks it's appearance or something, but she doesn't get that it's a disposition thing. When I do get her to go out, she always enjoys herself. She's just a sunnier person in general, and she always admits that I was right and going out is fun sometimes. Plus, it's hard to feel excited if we've just been lazing around on the couch all day, if that makes sense.
Is there any way I can get her to compromise about these things? Any ideas for dates that I can suggest? | My girlfriend is a homebody with tons of excuses not to go anywhere, but she always ends up enjoying it when we do go out. Is there anything I can do here? |
t3_2ia8v1 | relationships | Long distance boyfriend wants me to stop masturbating? | We've been togother for over a year and this weird issue of masturbating is coming up. I've [20F] explained to him [25M] that I don't watch porn or anything while doing that, because I don't like that. I don't feel like me doing this is an issue though. I thought that he would also masturbate as most guys do BUT according to him, he doesn't and hasn't for a year out of respect for me.
He tells me it makes him uncomfortable, and I'm not sure how to deal with this. I will still continue to do it, because its my body and its my right to do it. I've told him that, and he just tells me its not normal to refuse to stop something thats so simple and bothers your boyfriend.
So, am I in the wrong here or is this controlling behavior? I just don't understand what's the big deal. It is normal in a relationship to stop masturbating, or ask SO to stop? | Boyfriend asks me to stop masturbating, I tell him its my body. He still wants me to stop. Is this normal in a relationship or controlling? Or am I in the wrong here? |
t3_2j6mme | relationships | Me [20 M] with my Ex [20 F] duration 9 months | So this girl I met in college was amazing and we dated for 9 months and to be honest I thought she was the one and I dreamed of marrying her. I got caught cheating when I was away on spring break when I was piss drunk but we were able to work things out because at this point we were even saying that we loved each other. I had to leave the university we attended due to money/academic issues so we broke up. I am completely in love with this girl but I can't talk to her because she thinks of me as a cheater, even though deep deep down I know she still has that original love for me. What is going on inside her head?! | GF broke up with me, she knows how much I love her. How does a girl live knowing that a guy would die for her? |
t3_236npo | relationships | I [31/M] got told by a friend [23/F] that she needed some time to think after I reacted poorly. | Posted this over in /r/askwomen[1] , was told I should put it here.
Been casually seeing this girl, we'll call her Katie, for the last month or so, been friends since sometime last September. Last weekend, we went with a group of friends to hang out, and I got pretty blasted. A buddy and I went off to do our own thing, and her and her friend went up on the dance floor. Apparently at some point in the night, I decided to ditch, and head back to a friends house.
The next morning I wake up to a couple of texts from a friend, saying that Katie ditched me because I never made a move on her. (Her and I have never actually expressed romantic interest in one-another, just friendship for now.) I was still drunk at this time, and decided it would be a good idea to call her out on it, and ask her that if she felt this way, why she didn't make a move herself. Long story short, I was an idiot, these things may have been a lie, I overreacted, and she told me that she needed some time to think.
That was a week ago this last Sunday. This phrase, "I just need some time to think." Does it mean that our relationship/friendship is doomed? | I overreacted to a possible lie by another friend, causing my female interest to re-evaluate what we have. I'm worried my chance is gone with her... |
t3_1m3j3x | relationship_advice | Friend is in an abusive relationship (emotional not physical) despite trying our hardest to get her to leave... She won't | My (f 24) friend/roommate (f 22) has been with her emotionally abusive boyfriend (m 23) for 2 years. He started off really nice and would always be doing sweet things like sending her flowers or gifts and writing notes to say he loved her. Fast forward about 6 months and things started to get ugly, he controls her every move. He decides what she can/cannot wear... berating and insulting her for wearing something he deems"inappropriate" (this is often something perfectly acceptable like a pair of shorts in summer).
He won't allow her to be friends with guys and immediately accuses her of cheating if he sees her talking to a male friend. He manipulates her and says she is lucky he Is with her and that other guys wouldn't be so lenient. He frequently "dumps" her, citing ridiculous reasons... Usually something along the lines of "you disgust me, you're a f*cking whore".
He is not physically abusive, he is very small and not physically fit. I feel this emotional tyrany is to make up for this.
What's frustrating is she won't listen. She is often in tears and we (my friends and i) all sit down and talk about how she deserves better etc and she decides to end it with him. Only for a few days later him to do some romantic gesture and she runs back to him. I don't understand as she is a young, intelligent and beautiful girl who could have any guy she wants. Why is she sticking with him?!
We're so stuck for things to say. What can we do to make her see this is NOT normal. | friend (f 22) is in an emotionally abusive relationship, despite deciding to leave frequently she always goes back. How can I help? |
t3_2cln0m | relationships | He [25M] packed contraceptives for a vacation after he's been dating me [26F] for a few months. | We aren't official but while we've been dating we've spent a lot of time together and have not been fooling around with anyone else. I feel angry and confused since he admittedly packed condoms for his vacation. After he realized I was upset about it he said he wouldn't use them but that didn't make me feel better. I just don't know if I can continue dating him when he gets back because I feel like the relationship, he said he wanted, we were building towards will be damaged because I am hurt and I don't trust him as much. I can't stop thinking about what to do or think. | Guy I've been dating for 2 months packed condoms for a vacation. I'm upset and lost my trust for him. |
t3_im3k5 | AskReddit | HELP! Reddit! My boyfriend is stuck in the Chicago airport and if he doesn't make his 7AM meeting he's fired. | He's trying to get from Scranton to Dallas, Texas for this twice a year meeting. So he gets to the airport at 4PM and his flight leaves at 430, but apparently when he tries to check in, they say "Oh, you missed the flight, we can't check you in anymore" So we drive 1.5 hours to Allentown (We live in PA) and try to make the 6:30PM flight there. Flight left even though we get there at 625. So he waits for the 8PM flight and makes it to O'Hare at 8:55. Runs to the gate to get the 9:10 connecting flight and the plane is STILL THERE. But they closed the door and they can't open it anymore. if he doesn't make his meeting at 7AM, he's won't get promoted and he's fired. Is there anything you guys can think of? Yes I tried to see if i could buy him another flight. I even checked train. And driving would be 16 hours, which means he would miss it. Please? I'm seriously crying right now. :( | Gate attendants close doors before departure time, bf gets stuck at Chicago in-between connecting flights. Needs to get to Dallas. |
t3_2ohiaz | tifu | TIFU by not flushing stranger's poop for him. | So I'm at this burger place with my girlfriend and I decide to clean my glasses. Well when I don't have my lens wipes on me, I normally use a little soap and water to clean them. So I go to the men's restroom and wash them in the sink. I decided that it would probably be better to use tp instead of paper towels because it's less abrasive.
That's when I walked into the only stall and gazed upon the most terrifyingly huge pile of shit I had ever seen. It looked like big foot ate 15 burritos, washed it down with prune juice, ate sugar free gummy bears for dessert, and then came to this burger place to leave behind yellowish brown mountain of shit for me to find. I'm not kidding when I say I'm legitimately concerned for the health of this person.
After I dealt with the initial horror of what I found, I resumed my original task of getting toile paper to clean my glasses. So as I left the stall, another gentlemen (who wasn't there when I originally went in) was politely waiting and walked into the stall.
My intial thought was "Oh wow he's not going to enjoy what he sees in there." Only after I heard him yell "OH WHAT THE HELL!?!" did I realize that from his perspective, I left that monstrosity in there and didn't flush.
My confidence when leaving the stall must have thrown him off, because later when I saw him walk out of the restroom, he didn't look at me with anger or hate.... just confusion. | I walked into a public restroom stall and found a large amount of poop, a stranger walked in after me and thought that it was my poop. |
t3_245jxe | relationships | My [21 M] boyfriend [21 M] of around a month keeps saying he wants to quit smoking, then doesn't, and I don't know how to talk to him about it. | So I really like my boyfriend. We get along really well and smoking isn't a deal breaker for me. I don't smoke, and it doesn't bother me that he does.
It does bother me that he'll often tell me (at least three times a week) "I want to quit," or "I'm going to quit." This has turned into him joking about how he'll quit the tomorrow after tomorrow, or justifying his smoking by saying how awesome it is socially, etc.
The part that bothers me is that he'll tell me he's going to stop smoking, I tell him I'll support him however he needs and if he wants I'll buy him toothpicks or hang out with him to distract him or whatever. Then he quits for a day, then I'll see him and he'll have a pack of cigarettes in his pocket and he'll act like he never pretended to quit in the first place. It kind of drives me crazy.
I'm not out looking for advice on how to get him to quit, because it's his life and his decision and I honestly don't mind it that much.
I'm looking for advice to be able to tell him, in a more graceful way, "Please stop telling me you want to quit if you have no intention of actually quitting." It's just annoying, and I care about him and I worry when he says he's going to quit because I know it's stressful and sucks and I want to support him, but I don't like being told something then having it not last at all. It would be different if it was, you know, he quits for a week or a month or *tries* but he doesn't try at all. | Boyfriend keeps saying he wants to quit smoking then doesn't, I don't know how to tell him I don't want to hear it unless he's serious. |
t3_50f1ge | relationships | Should I [21M] call out my ex [18F] for lying, or just let it go? I dumped her a week ago | My gf moved two hours away to college two weeks ago. That weekend she went to a party and got smashed to the point she passed out and had to be carried back to her room. The next morning she told me about it and I asked if anything happened between her and another guy or something. She told me three times that there weren't even any guys there and that it was just her and four other girls in a dorm room drinking by themselves, and that those girls are all in relationships anyways too. I knew something didn't sound right though. I broke up with her last Wednesday because she kept acting shady and started ignoring me for no reason.
Today she posted something on social media and I did some digging. Long story short I found a picture from the party that night, she's not in the picture, but all of the girls she told me about are in the picture along with five other guys. This just confirms my suspicions and makes me think she did cheat on me. What makes me think that is that she told me one of the girls had hooked up with a guy the next day, even though she is supposedly in a relationship with a different guy. So if my gf was hanging out with her, and she lied to me about no guys being there, why wouldn't she cheat on me and lie to me too like her friend did to her boyfriend?
Should I call her out on this and let her know that I'm aware that she at the least lied about the details of what happened? The only reason I want to call her out is because she acted like I was insane for thinking there were guys there and that she might have hooked up with one of them, and I want her to know that I know my gut feeling was right. | I dumped my gf a week ago, just found some info that proves she lied to me about somethings, do I let it go or point it out to her so she knows that I'm not a stupid idiot? |
t3_1gwkcb | relationships | Me[28M] Friend/Something more [23F] for 6 months, Sudden cold shoulder | So Christmas time, I'm hanging out with this girl. Most of the time we're just hanging with our friends, including a mutual friend who is her male, gay best friend.
We start making out all the time behind the backs of all her friends, I assume because she has really bad self confidence, she doesn't want all her friends talking about it.
After a few months of this, and a long night out, she comes to stay the night with me. We have a great evening, and when we finally sleep, she insists that we fall asleep spooning.
I text her the next week, and I don't hear anything. Rather than push it, I figure she's a little freaked out and take a step back. She doesn't come out for a couple of weeks. I see her, but she keeps her distance. Turns out one of my friends has seen her out and gave her some verbal about not texting me back, so I have a huge go at him, and tell her gay best friend, that I nearly punched my friend, and that I'm upset cause she won't speak to me. He works some magic, and we spend an evening at the pub everything seems back to the way it was, albeit with no kissing.
I go out last night, and she gives me the cold shoulder. I go to hug her best mate and and her at the same time, and whilst he's quite happy to hug me back, she hesitates. I tap her on the should and say hi, and she says hi back, and turns back into the convo. I try not to push it.
What do I do now? I assume a more than friends relationship is off the table, but I miss talking to her, and since we have a lot of mutual friends, and go to the same places, I am going to keep bumping into her. It upsets me that we can't even talk, just be friendly to each other. I've thought about sending her a PM on Facebook, but I don't know what to write.
Help me /r/relationships! | After spending the night with me, a friend is giving me the cold shoulder. I want to rebuild a friendship, no expectation of any more |
t3_2j0cc8 | relationships | Me [22M] with my GF [21F] of 5.5 years, She gets upset when I don't invite her to social gatherings but also gets upset when I do invite her... | My GF and I have been dating for 5.5 years and everything is 90% fine but our social standings can make things difficult. She's not very social, shy, not a drinker, has some self confidence issues so making friends is difficult for her and she doesn't really get out to often (high GPA masters student and researcher). I'm also a bit socially awkward but I get along with people and make friends pretty readily, people seem to like me and I keep in contact with a large group of friends.
The problem is when ever I get invited to go out with friends or something and my GF wasn't explicitly invited she'll get offended when I bring her along as a +1 or something. On the flip side, knowing she has this reaction I sometimes just won't ask her to come and she gets shitty with that too. I don't know what I'm supposed to do to keep my social life and keep her happy, any ideas? | GF gets butthurt when she isn't invited to stuff and I bring her as a +1 but also gets upset when I don't take her at all. |
t3_31fnl1 | relationships | 23f finally got the reasoning I needed from ex(24m) years later | After being abandoned by my ex(1.5yrs) after talking and trying to work on our relationship because shit got too real messing up my future relationships and temporarily destroying my life, he's finally given me the message I had been dying to know and given up knowing years later. Not asking for forgiveness or anything like that, just what exactly happened.
I was with my current bf(23m, 2 months dating) when I had gotten said message but I do not feel it as a threat for him and am unsure if I should even bring it up or not. Yes I still love my ex, he was my first love but I feel as though I'm almost in a standstill. My current bf and our relationship is really good on communication but is it worth it even bringing it up or letting it slide by? | finally got the answer to why my first love left me while with my current bf via text am unsure to bring it up to current bf as it is just an explanation and not asking for me back. |
t3_3zidbn | tifu | TIFU By asking too many questions. Again. | TIFU Recently my family has been gearing up for another cruise that we will go on in late January. (Fun right) Well its not the first cruise we've been on and it probably won't be the last so I was thinking about the reasons we will be going. So then I proceeded to ask my mom some of the reasons we will be cruising:
1. A break from work/school
2. A fun last hurrah before I "fly the coop"
3. We haven't been on vacation in a while
Wait...
Last time we went on a cruise...
When we returned my dad deployed to Afghanistan...
Shit. ISIS fucks are doing their fuckery and there has been talks about new troops being sent to the middle East.
Shit. Some of my friends have said their parents are being deployed.
Shit.
They(my parents) haven't tried to tell us kids yet.
Well. Should I confront them about it? Ask straight up? "Hey Dad are we going on a cruise in case you die like the last time we went?"
Help. | Were going on a cruise and I think it is becuase my dad is being deployed. Help. Suggestions on what to do pls. |
t3_ua3qg | relationship_advice | [24/f] Just ended relationship, but terrified of moving on... | My SO [27/m] of 1.5 years and I [24/f] recently broke up because I had some visa issues and had to leave the country.
We decided not to pursue an LDR because he had done it before and did not want to go through that again, and I knew that I woudn't have the emotional maturity to maintain a healthy LDR.
Also, we are each currently in the process of starting a new
life--me coming home and wanting to travel for a while, and him having just relocated to a new city.
Neither of us has no idea where we will be in the next few years.
The last few months of our relationship was basically a count-down towards our expiration date, but we had a lot of fun and spent *a lot* of time together. We got into fights sometimes (mostly because of me, I get jealous...) but I know we loved each other. We both cried when we said goodbye.
It's been a week since I left, and we've been talking everyday and acting pretty much the same way we had been before I left. But, this past week has also made me feel incredibly depressed. I still can't seem to face the idea that we are no longer together and might *never* be together again. That our daily chats and texts are eventually going to dwindle until they become non-existent. That we might one day move on and find other people to date. It's inevitable and how life happens...I understand the concept, but am having a hard time internalizing it.
I'm scared that our relationship will become something of the past.
I wish I could still be with him right now, but I know it's not the right time. It was bad timing, and there's nothing I can do about it....BUT IT MAKES ME SO SAD. I don't want to move on at all, and, very selfishly, I don't want him to either.
I miss him so much and am too scared to cut contact with him. I have become so dependent... I'm terrified and have no idea how to deal with the pain.
How can I get through this? | Just ended relationship due to visa complications, still very much in love, and terrified of the inevitable process of having to move on. |
t3_3l0t1d | relationships | I'm [23F] occasionally facebook messaging with my musician crush [34M] almost a year, would talking about sex spark his interest in me again or ruin my chance at a serious relationship and make him consider me a groupie? | I was literally mezmerised by his eyes the first time I saw him perform at a rock festival.
The next day I found his band name and found his name and sent him a FB friend request. When I saw he accepted my friend request I quickly started to write a message to send him but he sent me one before I even sent mine!
He said I was the "distractingly" pretty girl on the front row! So we didnt even meet eachother but he recognized me!
Anyway, after that we would have long conversations on FB initially and he would like my stuff on facebook. Eventually the interaction died down though because I think he might have lost interest or thought I was too clingly or not interested enough!
Initially he was very flirty and insinuating but I would never flirt back so that died down. The reason I didnt flirt back was because I didnt want him to think I'm a groupie and I want to be taken seriously.
Even though we stopped talking as often, he posted on my wall a happy birthdday message that was kind of long. Ive seen him leave someone else a birthday message but it was literally three words, mine was a paragraph so I think he still has some appreciation for me.
He is coming back to my city and sent me a FB invitation for his concert which I will not be able to attend. But hey, this is a good excuse to spark up a FB conversation again.
What can I do to take the relationship to the next level without becoming a groupie? | We have been having occasional FB conversations and I'd like to take my crush to the next level. Would talking about sex spark something long term? |
t3_1iw51c | relationships | I [22M]don't know how to address this issue regarding my best friends [23M; 22M] | I just graduated from University and don't know whether to antagonise my best friends (whom I met at university four years before) regarding failed holiday plans. They're 3, I shall refer to them as B, G and A.
Just before finishing exams we agreed that we would go to Croatia for a week. This fell through as A finished exams later than I expected and I was flying back home.
A few months before A said he could potentially invite me to Greece although this also failed as they planned everything with his family and couldn't accommodate me, which I'm totally fine with.
Out of all three of them, G is the one I'm closer to and in June he came to visit me, we had an awesome time.
A week ago I took the initiative (once again) to contact all three of them to ask whether they would want to go on a trip just is four and I am flexible with dates. B said ok, G said he only had five days but that it would be really hard to squeeze in another trip, A simply didn't answer, despite him seeing the message on Facebook on numerous occasions. This is what really annoys me, they're my best friends and didn't even keep a few days to go on a graduate trip. We just graduated for fucks sake and I'm the only one just home as my friends totally left me out.
The issue is as follows: should I tell A and G that I'm really disappointed by their behaviour or just ignore it? I do not want to antagonise them but I am really sad and disappointed... The message would only be addressed to A and G as B agreed to the trip. | Friends from University ditched me for a grad trip and I don't know whether I should let them know that I'm disappointed. |
t3_3dp7ak | weddingplanning | Anyone quietly brought alcohol to a no-booze-allowed park for their wedding? | Hi ladies & gents,
We've just nailed down the date to next June (yay!) and found this incredible location in a park that does weddings for FREE! Knocked my socks off. Money is tight so free is kind of amazing. Especially for two days so we can set up on Friday and come back on Saturday. We were going to have it at home so this relieves a lot of financial and other stress (there's a lot of work to do on our new house).
The only issue is, I don't want a dry wedding. I don't need a crazy party wedding either, and no one I'm inviting typically acts a fool unless it's the right time and place. This place doesn't allow alcohol but I've been to two weddings in alcohol-free locations where folks just quietly enjoyed beers or a covert cocktail. No one was beligerant and no one stopped them.
We'll have the wedding a bit earlier in the day than we'd planned (when we planned to have it at home the ceremony was going to be later to avoid the heat, like 6:30 or 7, but here we'll probably shoot for 4 or 5, ending by 8) so I'm hopeful that folks can stand not getting too toasty until the afterparty.
My thought was a tasteful, not strong lemonade cocktail already mixed along with other non-boozy drinks for kids. Maybe some wine. This just happened today so the logistics are fuzzy.
We'll go out after or have a party at home so we can get crazier then, but we all drink lightly so I'd like to avoid going dry. Please try to understand (and please be gentle) I'm not trying to disrespect the park - because we'd be diligent about cleanup and breakdown and super-respectful of the facilities, I can't see the harm in a drink on my wedding day to take the edge off. | Has anyone had a similar experience? Has anyone brought some booze to a dry wedding location for a not-so-rowdy crowd? |
t3_rie5l | AskReddit | Today I may have gotten myself suspended for standing up to an old lady in public. I don't regret it for a second. But should I have been so hard on the lady? | I work with disabled adults. Today myself and another staff member took our client out to lunch. It was a first for us, as his behaviors can be very intense. Violence, aggression, self-injurious-behavior, etc. But I was confident in my staff and the restaurant wasn't very busy at all. So we went in, gave it a go. Worst case scenario? He gets upset, starts to show signs of agitation, and we pay the bill and walk out.
Thankfully, that's not how it turned out. He did phenomenally well! He was genuinely ecstatic, and walked around the buffet choosing all his favorite items. He had the freedom to get up, make different choices he might not otherwise get in other situations, and had a blast. At the end, we let him choose anything he wanted from the desert table. He was laughing and making some noise, for sure, but nothing too unreasonable. He gave the waitress/tray-clearing-person(?) a hug and left the place laughing. It was a good day.
On the way out of the door, however, a pair of old ladies remarked to each other quite loudly (On purpose) "I don't think people LIKE HIM should be allowed into a restaurant." On instinct I quipped back "I don't think people LIKE YOU should be allowed to share his air."
Long story short, word got back to the company that I misrepresented the company in public and I'll have a "sit down" with my supervisor tomorrow. Was I right? I think so. Was the look on her face absolutely priceless? You bet your fucking ass. But what do you think Reddit, was it worth it? Should I have cut the lady some slack? In her day they sterilized deaf people because they were "invalid" people. | Old lady was a bitch in public. Called her out on it. Might have consequences to my employment. Was it worth it? |
t3_2a469s | relationships | Did I ruin it? | I (17m) have been dating B (15f) for 7 months and during spring break she went to her mother's and we split while she was there due to her talking to another guy (18m) flirtingly in Georgia. We live in Indiana. Any way while on our break I got a little under the influence and traded pictures with a another girl S (15f) and quickly pushed it out of my mind. Fast forward to July 4th B and I are back together and she is going through my phone and I messaged S saying that her and I liked each other a little too much. And that I would have to cut ties with her. B is furious saying I have cheated on her for 4 months and isn't sure if we should continue our relationship. I Love B and wonder if it's worth salvaging? There is a background story in my profile from the whole spring break thing. | I screwed around while drunk. Gf and I were on a break and now past is catching up with me. Please help. |
t3_x7tjw | Pets | My new 9 month old kitten is neutered, but pees on this 1 chair. What can be done? | I have a large [papasan] chair, and my fairly new (beginning of May) 9 month old Kitten jumps on the chair and peed in it twice (that I am aware of). I neutered him about a month ago, and I haven't noticed him peeing anywhere else in the house - no odor, and I've never caught him. I have blatantly caught him peeing in this chair, he sees me, and runs away.
**History:** I got the chair at a yard sale before I had the cat. Don't know if any pets lived in their house, but It had no pet hair on it.
My cat almost never jumps into that chair. It's in a corner of my room that he barely ever goes over to because there's nothing interesting over there. I thought he was afraid of it, because it's not very sturdy when he jumps up. | Neutered cat has no interest in my big cloth chair, unless he's peeing in it. Caught him twice. How can I stop him? |
t3_2aohyh | relationships | Me [21M] with my best friend [24F]: she's been acting distantly and I don't know why | Throwaway because she knows my Reddit account:
I was really good friends with a really great girl for a few years, and at some point plucked up the courage to ask her out. We went out for about a year, and though we always had a great time together, we both had a nagging feeling that we weren't meant to be together long-term, and decided to break up. We were both very upset, but agreed it was for the best, and we were able to become close friends again, after the appropriate period of separation and so on.
This all happened a couple of years ago, and since then, we've been out with other people. We still talk a lot, although not to the detriment of our other relationships, and I still really like spending time with her. As far as I know, she really does too - at least, she always seems really happy when she's around me.
Recently though (in the last couple of weeks), she's stopped answering my messages as enthusiastically, and yesterday announced by Facebook status that she had planned a holiday with two other guys to Argentina for ten days (we live in London) and was leaving tomorrow. I feel a bit hurt, not because she's gone off without me, but because she didn't tell me, and I feel like usually she would have done.
I can see that being "best friends" with an ex, or even someone of the opposite sex, is a bit of a minefield and pretty risky, but I've long since stopped thinking of her as anything other than one of my closest friends. What do you think might be up with her? Nothing has happened to spark this change, as far as I know, although if it has, she may just not have told me, since she's been distant for the last couple of weeks. | Have been best friends with an ex-girlfriend for a long time. Suddenly she starts acting distant. What's up? |
t3_1ejqew | relationships | It took me 4 weeks that I [19m] was having dirty conversations with my GF [18] three months before I met her. | This was originally posted by me on AdviceAnimals as a meme and thought I should ask someone about it.
So I've been going out with this girl for a few weeks, and one day when I was over at her house and we were just getting there she started reading from her poetry journal thing she writes in every night. After she read a few romantic things about me, and stories with her friends, she flipped a few months back and found both the first and last name of the alias I regretfully used to have quite filthy conversations with girls I met online. How I even met her for the first time in person was at a movie, we were in line and started talking and decided to sit together and so on, so when I went through my text history and found that three months before I met her, I had a very dirty conversation with her apparently did it a few more times too.
I'm trying to decide what to do. I thought about how if she can sext some guy for weeks, would she cheat on me with some fling? But I actually trust her and don't think she would. On the other hand I could go out on a limb and tell her it was me and maybe get some of the crazy shit that she told him about. I did ask her about him and she said that it was the last time she had some feelings for someone. And the name is written in quite a few places, in fact right below mine and crossed out on her mirror.
What should I do? Tell her and risk her freaking out about it, or risk being too tired to walk after spending three days straight at her house doing what we had talked about before. I'm still shocked about how it took me 4 weeks of dating her to realize that we had talked before. I'm confused. | I sexted my GF under a fake name three months before I met her, didn't remember it when we started dating, and found the name written on her mirror under mine. To tell her or not to tell her? |
t3_1phomv | Pets | What to do about my dad's neglected cat? (x-post from /r/needadvice) | When I was 18, I moved out of my dad's house to live with my grandparents. We had a long-haired black cat, and I couldn't bring her with me because of my grandmother's allergies to cats (especially long-haired ones.) She's been in my dad's "care" since then.
I don't visit very often because the state of the house in general is deplorable since my mother and I left. The cat is in awful condition. Her hair is almost completely gone, she's meowing incessantly, I feel like they don't feed her and she's got the worst case of fleas I've ever seen. My dad acts like a big animal activist, which is why I don't understand this situation...
I'm emotionally conflicted because I don't want to be the one to decide to end the cat's life. I can't afford vet bills, I can't house her, I don't know what to do or where to take her and it's ripping me apart from the inside. Her quality of life has to be terrible, but what do I know?
My dad has anger problems and our relationship is frequently on eggshells, but he's also my dad and I don't want law enforcement to get involved if they don't have to. | My dad is neglecting our cat and I need to stop it. What is the best course of action where no one will get arrested? |
t3_o3j87 | relationships | I think I've lost the love of my life and I don't know what to do... | I'm a 19 F and my boyfriend or well ex now maybe is 19 as well. We have a long history through when I was dating another guy and I cheated on that guy with my boyfriend. Yeah it was stupid but it happened. We didn't start dating till about 7 or so months after the cheating incident and it was about a month after the other guy and I had broken up. Now I know this guy is for me. I have never meant anyone like him and I am beyond in love with him. We have fought a good amount and had some nasty blow outs and one would have happened today over the same reasons they have for the last six months but he said that he just didn't have the energy to fight anymore about it and I know he means it. The basic problem is that I have or now had this close guy friend and my boyfriend mentioned several times that he was uncomfortable but for some reason I thought it was fine and so the blow out happened. Then I said I would not be friends with him and my boyfriend meant way more to me than that but eventually I would slowly go back to my friend out of guilt because I felt terrible ignoring him and stuff when he had done nothing wrong and this happened quite a few times. The latest one was here and my boyfriend says that it shows I just don't care enough to keep to my word. I feel so defeated because there is nothing I can say or do. I've said it all and done it all in our last big fights and I fell through. I feel like a terrible person and I know I deserve to lose my boyfriend but I just wish I could make it work some way. I'm just so confused. | I made promises to my boyfriend over and over again and broke them over and over again and now I may have lost him forever |
t3_4gm3v6 | relationship_advice | Im [21/M] Melting into an emotional puddle after Breaking up with my ex[21/F], how did you cope with a breakup? | I broke up with my Gf of two years roughly 6 months ago due to me feeling like things were too serious for such a young age (20). I was fine for probably 4-5 months but recently I can't stop thinking about the woman. I have tried everything to push out these depressing thoughts, exercise, eating better, going out, xanax, but nothing is working. Just a couple of hours ago I had to leave class to go for a run because I couldn't stand what I was feeling.
I think the root of the problem is that I am emotionally lonely. I moved two states away from my family to attend College. While I have an amazing group of friends, they are the guys and we don't talk about emotions, and frankly I wouldn't want to talk about it with them. I'm pretty antisocial and have fairly low confidence when it comes to women, so I don't have a close friend who is a girl that I would feel comfortable talking with. This also means that I haven't met a romantic prospect. I'm not saying I want to get a new woman, however I just need someone who I can connect with on an emotional level.
Anyway sorry for the rant, I wanted to ask you all how you coped with your feelings after a breakup? Anything would help as my work and school is falling behind due to me longingly looking out the window all day. Just kidding, but really it has been mentally crippling. | broke up with my gf now whenever I close my eyes I see her name etched into my eyelids. How did you cope with losing them? |
t3_2swo2y | relationships | Me [18 M] seeking help about my ex [18 F], struggling to know what's right | I had been dating a girl for 3 years now. Honestly, I don't know how I feel about these 3 years. We've had our honeymoon stage and then fell off for a bit and then came back a little? Either way, I think we were both sort of deciding that since we were probably going to colleges far away and neither one of us were willing to have a long-distance colleges, we were half-assing the relationship.
Well. As things would turn out, during our senior year we both got into the same college of our choice and it just so happens that it's the same one. We were both really excited for this and talked about the things we'd do there but after a week or so were got into a huge argument and she wanted to "take a break".
I was ready to be completely done. We'd had many arguments in the past. I can understand why we get into arguments. I can understand why I'm wrong. But the arguments had gotten so frequent that I didn't think I'd ever look back.
Well that was 4 months ago. Turns out it's a lot harder to break from a 3 year relationship than I thought it was going to be, even if was shitty for the last year. I think it's safe to say without sounding entitled that she's still interested. And the problem is that when she does get all cuddly and such, I'm missing it too.
To be honest, she's probably out of my league in terms of looks. We're going to an ivy and she sure as hell deserves to go there having worked her ass off in high school so she's hard working and intelligent. We both share similar interests and such. I'm just afraid of getting back together because of our frequent arguments which were emotionally draining. People often say that it takes time to get over someone but this is a high school relationship and it has been months. We don't have classes together and I don't see her out of school. I've essentially blocked her on fb so I don't have to see her and we really haven't talked unless we randomly meet up at events which is when she's showing obvious signs of interest.
What should I do? | Broke up with 3 year gf. Still have feelings for her but don't want to get back into constant fighting |
t3_2nb4pr | relationship_advice | I'm [23m] caught in a siren's [19f] song and don't want to escape. | Just to set the tone, I am a [23M] (I consider myself smart, deep and a bit too serious) with minimal relationship experience and over time I have learned that in terms of a relationship partner I am really quite picky (crushes are very rare and have only had a handful). I am naturally an introvert but unfortunately the world we live in is kind of tuned to extroversion so I have learned how to be sociable. With this I have become good at making friends, including with girls and not pursuing anything further. Then one day at school I met a [19F] Siren; beautiful, smart, funny and above actually has some depth to her personality. Like all sailers of the sea I surveyed the situation and learned she has a boyfriend and with this new information I tried to keep some distance so I don't get dragged into the depths. Unfortunately circumstances did not go as planned and we ended up repeatedly unintentionally encountering each other and we have formed a very weird relationship which I liken to the waves of the sea where there are many high and low points. I am now even more afraid to distance myself as I would not only loose a close friend but I feel like I would loose a bit of my humanity (It's been a very long time since I have had romantic feelings for someone). Any advice for me? I feel like I am going to drown if I don't do anything... | Felt I was lost at sea, thought I found refuge in someone. This person is my equivalent to a siren. Now I'm drowning. |
t3_w318i | AskReddit | Job Offer Advice | Hey guys I have a dilemma that I thought you guys could give me some advice on. This Monday I was offered a job that I have been interviewing for for the past month and a half and after my background check is done sometimes mid next week I will sign the contract to make the offer official. The problem is I have also been interviewing with another company and three weeks ago they flew me across country for the final round interview which I thought went really well. The hiring team with this company has since been on vacations and have not got around to making a decision. This job is in a better location, the pay is around 15 k more, and it is what I really would like to be doing. Now I only have until mid next week to hear from them. What should I do? ? Is it improper to call them and tell them about my other offer and explain to them I would prefer to work with them to sort of speed up their decision? I am a recent college grad and have no experience with these kinds of things so any advice would be greatly appreciated! Btw sorry about grammar, I'm posting from my phone. | I have a job offer that becomes final in a week, but am waiting to hear back from a job that I really would rather be doing. |
t3_52mixi | legaladvice | Mom and I got into an accident (my fault), she got hurt, my medpay ran out and she is looking into future options | Hi reddit. I'm looking for some advice for my (M24) mom (F53). We were involved in a car accident in GA in January of this year.
For some background on this, I was making a left turn through a 'don't block the box' zone with traffic stopped at the light. I made my turn and a car hit us on the right side where my mom was sitting and fractured her left and dominant hand on the center console. I was declared at fault and we had an ambulance come and take her to the ER. She was diagnosed with a fracture there and came home for the night.
I made a claim with my insurance, State Farm, from the hospital and began the claims process.
She began the recovery process, but up until today (September) she still only has less than 50% strength in her dominant hand and her medpay that she was getting from my State Farm claim has been exhausted. There has now been talk of a possible surgery in the future.
There is some liability coverage that she can claim (less than $47k), but it may not be sufficient enough for future therapies, surgery, or disability.
Her lawyer advised her that if she tried to claim a larger sum than the liability to cover the aforementioned future costs, State Farm may refuse and a judgement may be forced upon me.
She obviously does not want to do that as the lawyers said that it will most likely ruin my credit because I am still a student and have no large sums of money sitting around. But what would the real impact be on me should I be judged against? No one I have spoken to seems to know a concise answer to this.
Thanks for the advice. | Mom and I got into an accident (my fault), she got hurt, my medpay ran out and she is looking into future options that will not ruin my credit |
t3_31nx8h | relationships | My boyfriend (27 M) has prohibited me from saying a certain word and gets angry at me (27 F) when I accidentally say it. | My boyfriend does not like it when I use "wtf" while we are texting or chatting online. "Wtf" is something that I have been using since I was 13 and honestly it's a hard habit to break, it is like asking someone to stop typing "lol" or "lmao". I know he doesn't like "wtf" because it has the swear word in it and he has told me that it sounds very rude to him. I am confused why I am not allowed to use "wtf" because he says fuck a lot while we are together. I told him that he uses the swear word too and his response was "so it's my fault?". I can sort of see how "wtf" can sound rude to people and I honestly have been trying my best to stop using it but today it just slipped because I was shocked by something. Can someone help me understand his perspective ? | boyfriend asked me not to say "wtf". I agreed, but today it accidentally slipped and now he is angry with me. |
t3_nh7tn | dating_advice | How would i go about doing this? | So i frequent a walmart in my small town at least 3 times a week,
50% or more of the time that i go i end up running into or getting checked out by this girl that i think i might want to ask out but im not really sure how to go about doing that because im sure she gets asked out often working at a wal-mart?
I've made small talk with her enough to "think" that her friendliness is more than just customer service, because she notices me before I notice her.
I find this girl to be very attractive and she seems to have a personality that i could very easily get along with and I really dont want to miss this chance so any advice you can give is greatly appreciated! | Want to ask out cashier and not sure how to do it because shes at work and is probably asked out several times aday. |
t3_49vn6w | relationships | Me [27F] with my FWB [21M]. I think he's leading on another girl. I've stopped sleeping with him because of this, but I want to say something in defense of this younger woman. | MY FWB had mentioned that there was this persistent girl who really wanted him. He said he doesn't like her and can't see themselves dating, but he'll "take whatever comes." Now he's confessed that they're seeing each other and are having sex, but he's "not sure about the relationship."
I suspect that the girl is being led on - She doesn't know about me and she definitely doesn't know what he thinks of her. If that girl were my younger sister or friend, I would say 1) sleeping with a guy doesn't make him want to be your boyfriend, 2) you are not his girlfriend until he brings up exclusivity, and if she's serious (which I suspect she is) 3) hold back on having sex. My FWB is honest and respectful to me. I want to tell him to be honest but gentle with her, but I don't think it's appropriate for our casual relationship. | I suspect that my FWB is leading on a younger girl. I want to say something to him so she doesn't get hurt. |
t3_1zt4us | relationships | I [24/F] am at a crossroads with my boyfriend [26/M], need support but don't know which direction is right? | I love my boyfriend, we have been together little more than two years. At some point we even talked about getting married. However since the beginning of our relationship my boyfriend was an alcoholic. It was really hard to see the person I love just wreck themselves with this substance. We got into a lot of fights because of it & sometimes he would say hurtful things to me if were fighting and he was drunk. There was a time where I almost broke up with him because I couldn't handle the hurtful things he would say.
Now my boyfriend got the help he needed, he is 2 months sober and has become a happier healthier person. I'm proud of my boyfriend for all of the positive changes he has made in his life. However I feel sometimes that I can't join him in his happiness. I feel like I've been hurt so much while he was drinking that even though he is sober, I still am stuck in the past. I actually started going to a support group hoping I could change my attitude, but I've only been to 2 sessions & progress is slow.
A few days ago my bf told me he could see I was struggling with something and I broke down. I told him that I was at a crossroads because while he was happier I was stuck reliving the past & that I know if I keep doing this I will have to let him go. However, as selfish as it may be I don't want to leave my bf & thats why I am getting help from the support group. My boyfriends been mad at me and hasn't really talked to me. I feel like an awful person & don't really know what to do. I could use some advice. | my bf is two months sober, I can't let go of the past & am trying to get help but don't know if I should stay or leave my bf. |
t3_4k1hc8 | relationships | Me [24F] w my SO [24M], unable to sleep through the night in the same bed and looking for advice. | Apologies for any formatting issues, I'm typing this very sleep deprived on my mobile.
The issue is this: I cannot get a good night's rest when I stay the night with him. I'm generally a heavy sleeper but I find myself totally on edge because of previous incidents like being smacked in the face with a wayward arm, being pushed out of bed, and being head butted in the face. He also snores quite loudly and will often creep into my pillow and use it as his own. As a result I find myself waking up pretty much every hour every night. Currently he has a full sized bed but is looking into getting something bigger.
His job hours have shifted and now require him to wake up at 3:30 am. I start my new job next week that will have me working 12 hours a day starting at 7:00 am.
I'm pretty much out of ideas on how to sleep at his place. His Love Language is quality time so he's deeply against me sleeping elsewhere (such as at my home) and would prefer I stay the night with him. I honestly am getting to the point where I want to strangle him whenever I feel him prodding me or get slapped in the face or snore in my ear (I am mostly joking). He feels terribly about it in the morning and is really a very kind, considerate person. He's just not a considerate bedmate. It makes me want to stay at my house and sleep and get a full night's rest.
I was wondering if anyone else has had any of these problems and might be able to extend some advice on how to improve the situation. | my boyfriend is depriving me of sleep every night and I have no idea what to do because it hurts his feelings when I want to sleep at home as a result. What could make it better? |
t3_24afdj | relationships | I am[18F] in a serious relationship with [19M] since 6 months…my problem is he doesn't read the news? | I honestly believe our relationship is as perfect as can be. We love and respect each other very much, we treat each other as equals, we've lived together for 6 months with no problems, our families are very supportive, the sex is great, so naturally: we plan on one day getting married and having kids (after grad school, of course).
But today I realized something: he doesn't read the news. Ever. He's completely indifferent to what's going on in the world, or even our country. Whenever I show him what's going on in politics, issues like racism and poverty and the environment, I get no reaction. No opinion. Nothing. Just a shrug and a smile and a suggestion of "let's do something else!". And it's weird, because he's so intelligent and I just don't understand how he doesn't see why these things matter.
This is kind of a problem because when I graduate, I want to do something meaningful with my time. I want to start a school in rural India (where I was born) to provide an education for kids who otherwise wouldn't get the opportunity. How can I expect any support from a man who doesn't care about such things? If I get pregnant one day, I'll be with a man who doesn't care about the kind of world his child is going to have to live in.
If he doesn't believe in anything bigger than himself, does he really believe in me and my dreams? Or does he just think he loves me, when what he really loves is just my company?
Am I taking this too far? | Bf doesn't care about pressing issues, I do, so are we fundamentally different and incompatible in the long term? |
t3_4e4f2z | relationships | I [24/F] am pregnant by my bf/ex(?) [28/M] who calls me names like bitch and retard, and treats me like shit, and I don't know what to do, I'm all alone. | My ex(?) (confusing time right now) is furious at me for missing pills and getting pregnant. I didn't want to get pregnant, it was a mistake and I regret it. I attempted to get an abortion but didnt go through with it. The dad is calling me a retard, a fuckup, a dumb bitch, a bad mother, and says that he loved me off and on and it didn't work out and keeping this baby is a huge mistake. He thinks I'm trying to trap him into marriage or something because I told him I don't want to raise a baby in a hostile enviroment with a man who doesn't love me and want me around. BUT he says the only way to make things work is to live together and raise the kid. I don't agree. I suggested I could move back to my home state to have my family help, and he got all pissy about it. He claims he's scared for the kid because if I can't remember to take a pill I won't remember other stuff for the kid. I don't do drugs, not an alcoholic, I have never had a kid before and after this mess I never want to again. It was a mistake and he's constantly rubbing it in my face, as if I don't know I fucked up and feel horrible about it already. I only kept the child because I feel guilty about abortion, and he said he wanted to always be a dad. Then he threw in my face he wants to be a dad, but maybe not with me.
I don't want to live with a man who talks to me like this. I feel trapped. I can barely afford my own shit so he says it can only work if we live together and split bills. I know I'll not be able to stay there because I can't stand the thought of waking up next to a man who doesn't want me, that I have a child with. Can someone please give me advice? | The father is being a jerk and calling me names because I messed up my birth control. He wants us to live together to afford the baby but doesn't want me. |
t3_2zsvp3 | relationships | Me [16 M] with my [14 F] girlfriend, what does she mean by this? | I'm a sophomore in high school, she's a freshman. We've been dating for a little over a month and a half. She's a very nice, understanding person, and she's usually pretty straightforward about stuff. I'm really attracted to her, and have wanted to kiss her for a while (she's never kissed a boy before). We've held hands, cuddled, etc. and I was pretty sure she would want to kiss me eventually. I figured that it would be nearly impossible to communicate to her that I wanted to kiss her without saying something about it, considering the nature of her personality.
I decided to bring it up while we were texting, I asked her how she would feel about kissing me. After a few minutes, she replied with "at this point I honestly don't know, sorry".
My question is, what does this most likely mean? I know she's attracted to me on some level, because she loves to be around me. It's hard to imagine that she hasn't really thought about this before (though I suppose it is a possibility). I'm thinking that she just isn't comfortable with it yet and wants to wait a bit. Are there obvious signs I'm missing here? | Asked my gf how she would feel about kissing me. Replies with "at this point I honestly don't know". What does this reply mean? |
t3_27lq65 | relationships | Was I led on? | Me: 19M, other person is 18F
So this girl that I have had a crush on for a while and her boyfriend have been dating for about a year and a half. They haven't been doing so well the past two months and they were broken up, but still 'committed friends.'
I had been drinking with her and a couple more friends one night, and we started talking. She hadn't had much, maybe 2-3 beers. I was pretty wasted. She started touching me while we were out at the bonfire and sat on my lap. She ran her fingers through my hair and kept complimenting me.
I told her that she had a boyfriend and she kept repeating "He would never know, we're not even together" after I brought him up. Eventually we were both lying down in bed and out of nowhere she starts kissing me and talking about wanting to have sex. I get a condom and before anything happens she tells me that we can wait until the morning because she doesn't want me to get feelings or regret anything. We both ended up sleeping seperatly.
Morning comes and I leave real early feeling guilty. We end up hanging out the next night and she is still touchy-touchy towards me. She runs her fingers through my hair and says "remember that?" and then she kisses me and says the same thing. We didn't end up really doing anything because like the good friend I am (or that I am not?) I called her boyfriend, drunk, telling him I was his friend and that his gf was all over me.
They end up breaking up after a few weeks not being able to resolve it, hes "given up on her" is what he said. Me and the Boyfriend aren't on good terms. She texts me the day after apologizing that she didnt intend for any of it to happen. I'm not sure if she did it to spite her boyfriend over their fights or if she actually feels something towards me. Keep in mind she was not very drunk at all.
We have started talking again recently and we plan on hanging out again.
What does this mean? Am I a shitty friend? Was I led on? | Hungout with a girl and some friends, she starts touching me and we almost do stuff, not sure if led on or not. |
t3_52enhr | relationships | I [20/M] am caught in love triangle between best friend/roommate [20/M] and his crush/our mutual friend [20/F] | These two have been friends for ~3 years, and he has had a crush on her for at least the last 6 months. He is also a shy, awkward guy so he has been slow with expressing his feelings towards her. After discussing his relationship problems with him, we've all been hanging as friends where I met her and tried to get to know her so I could help him out.
Long story short, I can see why he likes her so much, as I find her very attractive, chill and easy to talk to. However, from what I can tell she has been flirting heavily with me whenever we go out, which I have avoided reciprocating for now as I still do care a lot about my friend. At the same time, she has maybe friend-zoned my roommate already.
I intend to continue helping him out for now, but if he keeps getting turned down and she keeps flirting with me, is it reasonable that the girl and I should have a chance at a relationship and expect my roommate to be mature about this? Or is it not worth risking my relationship with my friend? | He really likes her. I tried to get her to like him. Turns out she maybe likes me? And now I like her too. What do? |
t3_y8s9s | relationship_advice | [23/m] My girlfriend [24/f] is Catholic and says she feels sad for me because I don't care about religion or god. | She feels sad because I don't care about god. I asked her why, and she says she can't really say why, but one point is because I won't be there with her in heaven once we've died.
We've talked about marriage, and whenever I try to get more focused on when she'd like it to happen, the point of her parents MAYBE not approving because of my religious views always pops up. I always ask if she would really let something like religion put a stop to our 4 year relationship, and she starts talking about how she would prefer to be married to a catholic man (it kind of makes me feel like she's settling for me). I try to get her to see that religious people can be just as bad as the worst atheist, and vice-versa, but she says i'm missing the point. Her point being that she would PREFER a catholic man, that will go to church with her (i've never once told her that I don't want to go, and I even try to attend as much as I can) and that can lead the family in a prayer before dinner and that is generally a good catholic man (again, makes me feel like bottom of the barrel pickings).
She puts a lot of importance on how me being atheist makes her sad, and then she goes on to say that we're not ready (school, careers, etc... which all seem like valid points, but it hasn't stopped other people from doing it anyways). It makes me sad to think that she won't be happy if we ever do get married, just because i might go to hell.
I know I won't be able to understand her religious sentiments, but what can I do or say to make it a real meaningful, and valuable discussion, rather than just going over the same old points again and again? | Girlfriend of 4 years gets sad because of my atheism, and says she would prefer being married to me if i were catholic. this makes me sad. |
t3_2mnbz9 | relationships | Me [25F] with my roommate [31F] need a good response to my roommate. Her actions pissed me off and she doesn't understand why what she did was wrong. | She constantly frustrates me in one way or another with her moods but this just drew the line.
I told her earlier that I might meet up with a guy later.
Later on she's like
'so when are you leaving?'
I might not, thinking to work on homework and sleep.
'REALLY?' (Annoyed tone, like 'and you couldn't have told me this sooner? I've got plans')
umm, I never said I was going for sure just that it might be an option.
'I know'
then why are you pissed off?
'I'm not'
well you sure sound like it
'I have a right to my feelings don't I?'
Yeah, but don't take it out on me.
'I was just hoping to have the house to myself'
I get to my room only to find this message in my facebook:
look i just have been upset and depressed since I left today, I needed the house to myself and you leaving sounded kinda nice. Yeah i'm disappointed and a little upset, but why would you be upset if I am? Why shouldn't I have the right to my own feelings if I can manage them so they don't affect you? Have a lovely evening and sleep well.
What do I say to make her understand how that made me feel? | roommate thinks that its okay to express how she feels even if its being mad at me for something I didn't say I'd do for certain. |
t3_3gssxq | Advice | I don't know what I believe | I don't typically think deeply randomly during the day, but I had a realization today that was a bit off-putting and it stuck with me all day. After not being able to shake it, I would like some advice.
I came to the realization that I don't have any values that I hold close. I don't know what I believe in. I don't know where I reside politically, I don't have a clue. How can I be almost 20 years old and so uninformed. I feel as if everything has my attention for a limited time before I see or hear the next new thing. I can't stop, think, and internalize anything.
It's somewhat alarming because I'm starting to realize that my whole life has been this way. Is it because I'm young and impressionable? I want to have strong, defined values that I essentially demonstrate and live by every day. I want to know everything but it's not possible which is saddening.
I question reality every day and constantly ponder what is true in our world. Everything is skewed. The news reports, politicians, and corporate industry? Who tells the truth? How do I know who is right? Or are we all wrong? Too many possibilities have me spinning in circles and I feel stuck. | I feel lost in the world's possibilities. Who is right and who is wrong? Why can't I form my own values? |
t3_1b59h1 | relationships | Gf(19) and I (21) are becoming more distant. Don't want to leave her stranded in a different state. | So my GF and I have been growing more and more apart. We haven't been together that long, only about a year. She's from where I was originally and after a few months of dating she moved to where I am and we life together. I know that was a huge mistake but it happened.
Our relationship isn't very physical. The sex is minimal, we don't cuddle and we hardly talk. If I try to spend time with her she ends up occupied with something else or starts messing with her phone so I just have kind of given up on trying to get attention from her. I do love her but I feel like it's harder and harder to be involved in this. Is it worth the time to try to rekindle something? I feel like a horrible person because she's in a different state, which is one of the reasons this is a hard decision. I don't want to leave her stranded. | Rushed into a relationship. Girl relocates to different state and moves in. growing distant.. Is it worth trying to rekindle things? |
t3_vbawl | AskReddit | Is there a drug that makes you crave banana/papayas? | I work at an ice cream store and this guy came in around 11PM today. He was black and about 22 years old (if I had to guess). He tried to walk past the counter into the kitchen, and i asked him "can I help you?" and he says "yea can i get 5 bunanas and 5 pupayas?" At first I was confused as fuck then I looked at his face, his left eye was like droopy and twitchy and he looked like he was either drunk or on something crazy. Anyways I asked him "You want 5 bananas and 5 papayas?" He replies "yea, 5 bunanas and 5 pupayas." So I told him we dont have papayas but we do have ice creams that we make with bananas. Then he said "ight, well gimme 10 pupayas, or bananas or whatever you have." So I tried to point out to him the things in the menu that had bananas. Then he just says something that sounds like "nah-fyhasdf" and he starts to walk out of the store saying "fuck it!" and leaves. I realize he could have had a gun or something. With that said this also goes here: [LINK]( | Some guy who looked like he was on some serious drugs came into work today and asked for 5 bananas and 5 papayas. |
t3_34vd67 | relationships | My (43M) girlfriend has requested a no-contact break, however she (36F) initiated contact to ask me if I can stand next to her in a courtroom for moral support. | OK, so clearly a throwaway account. And the names have been changed to protect the innocent. My girlfriend and I have been having issues, and she just requested a break for about 2 and a half weeks. I agreed, because we *are* having problems, and I think that we both have things we really need to think about if we are to proceed in a healthy relationship.
However, she has an appointment in court this Friday about child support from her baby daddy. He owes her past due support payments, and is generally the perfect description of a dead-beat dad. For all FIVE of his children (yes, different baby mamas, but that is a whole different story).
Anyway, she has broken her no-contact request, and has sent me several texts, emails and left voice mails indicating that she wants me to take a break from the break, and be there for moral support. I have not replied to any of her communication, because to me a break means ... just that: a break. I only listened to her voice mail because I thought that something was urgently wrong, with the way she was blowing up my phone.
My gut reaction is not to go, and that this is simply part of the break. She knew that this case was pending when she requested time and space between us. ... Am I being too stubborn and inflexible? | My girlfriend requested a break, but now wants an exception to be made for it, so that I can be there for her moral support. Should I comply? |
t3_3af2b7 | relationships | I [27 F] am worried about very stubborn brother's [20 M] well-being and that might end up living in my parent's basement for most of his life. | Hi I am new to reddit but I have some worries about my younger brother. A brief background on him first: when he was a kid he got diagnosed with some type of learning disability and a mild form of tourrets syndrome. He has always been in classes lower than his grade level. My parents never did anything about that though, partly because my brother is stubborn and refuses help.
He doesn't have that many friends, he has one friend come over probaly like 1x a month if that. He gained weight because he isn't active anymore. All he does is play XBox all day long in the dark windowless basement. He stays up til 3am every morning playing video games. And sleeps most of the day.
I am worried about his well-being. He just finished his first year of community college (a year after he graduated High School). He has no motivation. Just quit a job he had for less than 1 week. My parents are *on him* and I am afraid that all 3 of them are going to snap very soon.
He doesn't show any interest in girls, or making new friends for that matter, and I want him to be at least a little social.
I want to help my brother but every time I try to even talk to him casually he flat out **ignores** me. Like all I get in response is a grunt. He is stubborn as hell, reddit. I care about him and I am really worried that he won't ever get a good paying job or get good grades or a social life. He gets into big fights with my parents because he refuses to do anything. He has gotten so lazy. I want to help him find a job but I honestly don't know what to do. I am not exactly sure of what I am asking here. Maybe I shouldn't even be posting this in this sub but like I said, I am new here, maybe it's more of a vent. I really want him to get married one day and have a good life. He can't be happy right now, he just can't... | My [27F] brother [20M] is struggling, lazy, unemployed, unmotivated, and I want to help him but IDK what to do: |
t3_t6oaq | AskReddit | How do I self-educate at a university level? (particularly computer science and creative writing) | First post. Been lurking for two months. I love reddit's insight on these types of situations and I'm sure I'm not alone in this situation.
Anyway, I'm 22 and graduating with a degree in French/minor in Marketing from an 'eh' state university. I've ran the educational gamut: from Film to Electrical Engineering to Finance to where I am now. I didn't discover how awesome computer science was until I started interning at an online marketing firm and now I know it really interests me. I love the idea of just getting sucked into coding the way I get sucked into my short story writing sometimes. It's like art to me. I have so many ideas for websites and web apps I want to build.
I know there are a ton of sources for online learning such as Udacity.com, but I can't help but feel that my efforts will fall short of kids who are receiving their formal educations in computer science from elite universities, or when it comes to writing, all the English majors from all those incredible liberal art schools on the east coast. Better yet, those kids who just ran with their curiosity as teenagers and started companies from their dorm rooms.
I have the drive and the curiosity, but I guess I'm looking for assurance, you know? Every time I see x web entrepreneur is a MIT dropout, or y writer went to Harvard University, or z making-a-difference-lawyer-activist got his JD from Columbia Law, it discourages me a little. It's like, "geez, I wish I had it figured out when I was 18 like these guys did" | How do I educate myself to assure that I have an excellent understanding of all these subjects that I want to study - specifically computer science? |
t3_4w9stj | relationships | My [24M] girlfriend [24F] of two years, hates my close friend [28M]. Told me that she might not be able continue relationship if I remain as close with friend. | Me and my friend have been pretty close for a few years now. Around two years ago I started dating my current girlfriend. From the very start my friend and girlfriend haven't gotten along. They have had a few conflicts. After their last conflict my girlfriend told me pretty clearly that she doesn't want to have anything to do with my friend. I will admit that the last conflict was my friends fault, and she has every right to be mad.
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After this I have been trying to keep them separate in my life (I avoid inviting them to the same place etc.). Yesterday my girlfriend and I had an argument and she explained that it makes her feel uncomfortable that I hang out with my friend. She said that she thinks my friend is a bad person. What she said after that sort of shocked me. My girlfriend said that she doesn't think that she can go on with me if me and friend remain this close.
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To be fair to my girlfriend my friend has been a real dick towards my girlfriend, so she has every reason to be mad at him. I simply don't know what to do. Does anyone have advice on a similar situation? | my friend is a dick towards my girlfriend, she hates him for it. Eventually she gives me a sort of an ultimatum saying she might leave me if my friend and I remain this close. |
t3_29xl9r | relationships | My [21/F] boyfriend [24/M] doesn't want to be tagged on Facebook | He doesn't want to be tagged in pictures that make it seem like we're in a relationship, and his reasons are that he doesn't want people he knows projecting/assuming certain emotions, which he's afraid will affect his feelings. I actually believe his reasons, and I don't think his reluctance to be tagged is related to wanting to seem single to other girls.
We've dated for a few months, and have recently just made it an official relationship (a few weeks ago). He's brought up changing his relationship status on facebook to "in a relationship" with me, but also said he's not yet comfortable with that. (I didn't ask him to change it...) I actually think it's a little much for now, and just asked if he would change his status from "single" to "blank." He said that was easy, and changed it.
What I guess I'm asking is whether I should communicate to him that I'd actually like to tag him in some of my pictures, and feel kind of weird about being kept something like a secret. He's introduced me to his brother, and has wanted me to meet his friends, so I don't think he's actually trying to keep me a secret. What do you guys think? | Boyfriend is a little too private on Facebook, and I'd like us to be a bit more declarative about us seeing each other. |
t3_ncwae | relationships | Best circumstance to say those three little words... | I'll summarize this as best as possible:
My boyfriend (23M) and I (23F) have been dating/ hooking up/ hanging out/ friends/ whatever you want to call it for 6 years. We went to high school together and that's where it all started in our senior year. We have always gotten along very well and have this chemistry that is like nothing I've ever experienced with anyone else. It was a very complicated time when we began being friendly. For many reasons, we never officially ended up "dating" (we have both had two long term relationships in the midst of this, each lasting about 2 and a half - 3 years), until very recently when we began speaking again one day soon after I had ended a different relationship. One thing led to another and it turned into something real for once. We have now been together for 5 solid months and things could not be better.
Here's where I am:
I am thinking of telling him I love him but I cannot for the life of me think of a good time to say it. I'm afraid one day I'm going to blurt it out at an inopportune moment that may lead to some uncomfortability, and that is the opposite of what I want. I have seriously thought about this moment for 6 years. That's a lot of build up and I want to come across effortlessly stunning when I tell him, not a bumbling trollina.
So now I call upon the wisdom you possess:
When do you think is a good time to say it? Is there a good time to say it? When would you like to hear it? Doing dishes or something random like that? I was thinking of waiting until Christmas or New Years and perhaps making it more special.
I should maybe add:
I am quite certain he feels the same way about me, so it's not really a concern of mine that he'll turn me down. As well, I'm nervous because I've never told a boy I loved them first, they've always beat me to the punch. And in the past when I have exchanged the sentiment, it has usually been while in the covers. | Me and my man friend have known eachother 6 years, been dating exclusively for the last 5 months, want to tell him I love him, haven't had an "opportune moment" to do so. |
t3_leop4 | AskReddit | Douchebag scrapped my car, need help! | I live in the United States, and my grandpa owned a timeshare in the UK. He died about 5 years ago. In 1972, he bought a Morris Minor 1000 (looks like this: and it has been in storage these last 40 years. Two years ago, my family had it restored and we drove it around. When we returned the the US, a "family friend" of my grandpa's agreed to look after the car.
Fast forward to today. The bastard sold it for scrap. My grandpa's classic Morris is gone. UK law only permits UK citizens from pressing criminal charges, unless my family lawyers up. Unfortunately, the cost of lawyers would be more than the cost of the car, making it futile. | a jerk sold a very sentimental car for scrap, I want punishment or compensation but can't because I don't live in the UK. |
t3_17tqij | relationships | Can you fall back in love if you've already fallen out of it? [f21m22 | We've been together for 6 years and live together.
Recently I've been feeling like I'm no longer *in* love as much as I do actually love him. I no longer feel attracted to him physically or emotionally. I'm not excited to see him and find myself wishing I was alone when we're together. I actively seek out activities that will keep me out of the house. And I feel like all of this adds up to no longer feeling in love with him.
I first brought it up last week and we've been having a lot of long talks since then. Basically he feels like we'll still be together forever whereas I'm not sure. We agreed to live apart next year but I don't know if I want to spend my last year of college trying to fix a relationship that's no longer making me happy because I don't know how. I don't know how to make myself want to be with him, be happy to see him, want to be affectionate towards him. I don't know how to work on these things when all I want is to be alone.
He keeps bringing up how "he didn't do anything to deserve this" "he's never acted in a way that deserves this" and it's true. He does everything to make me happy, goes out of his way all the time, and when he says "how is it not enough" I'm feeling like it's too much. I don't want someone trying so hard to make me happy because I don't feel that way back (like I want to do everything to make him happy). I just don't know what any of these feelings mean. | Together for 6 years, no longer feel *in* love and wondering if it's fixable and how to do so. |
t3_4te2kv | relationships | I'm [23F] more manipulative and temperamental than I'd like to be, and I want to be better for my boyfriend [24M] | Just a fair warning that this is pretty vanilla. No signs of abuse, a LOT of communicating with each other (esp. with expressing our feelings after an argument), very happy in general.
My boyfriend (Kay) is one of the sweetest, most thoughtful people I know. He makes me want to better myself for both of our sakes. He's very even-tempered and straightforward in communication, but I am not as good as he is at that.
* Temper: I sometimes get riled up more often about dumb things, like really dumb. If I'm fishing for a compliment and he teases me instead or something. It usually ends up in me being quiet for a period of time, which (being the observant guy he is) Kay notices something is bothering me. How do I stop being so sensitive and let things slide?
* Attitude: oh my god I've a bad problem with my tone of voice forever. It's something my mom's pointed out and tried to help me with for years. Sometimes that "condescending teenage tone" comes out and Kay's history (older sis) makes him extra sensitive to it. I hate that it happens and that I don't realize it until after Kay points it out to me. I've been working on it for years but it's slow going. Any tips?
* Manupulation: I play those stupid 'games' more often than I'd like. Things like waiting for him to approach me first after an argument (stupid pride, it's better now but it's still there), trying to make him feel bad when I want something, maybe some passive aggressiveness ("I didn't do this for you because I was busy washing the dishes you left overnight"), etc. Again, how do I get myself out of these mindsets?
I'm quite an introspective person, so I have a pretty good grasp on my personal weaknesses and strengths. I know Kay loves my strengths but I want to work on my weaknesses too. | I have some small problems with my temper, tone and manipulative games. How do I better catch myself before doing something immature? |
t3_1twrsr | relationship_advice | Physical boundaries in a 6 month relationship | I'm [16/M], my girlfriend [17/F] and I could not be more close than we are now. We've been dating for over six months now and she persistently says she will not go further (physically) than we already have. Her last boyfriend of 18 months had received handjobs and got the chance to finger her. It deeply hurts me to hear that she won't let me please her like her ex-boyfriend did, even though I "am the best boyfriend she's ever had".
How can I introduce the thoughts of taking the relationship further?
I've thought about talking to her and expressing my feelings, but haven't done that yet. | Girlfriend will allow a mediocre boyfriend to be more physical then the great boyfriend (me). Should I give this time, ask her, tell her how much it hurts me, ...? Thanks in advance. |
t3_2wua8o | relationships | My [18M] SO [17F] of 8 months believes that no one cares about her, thinks everyone is cruel and that all friendships die quickly. Need advice. | My girlfriend just explained to me minutes ago that she believes no one cares about her, and that all friends eventually betray you and leave you behind. She plans on cutting off all contact with her current highschool "friends" who have hurt her in so many ways, and I'm trying to convince her that there are better people out there.
She's stubborn, so I know this isn't easy. It's never easy when you've lived around people who couldn't care less about you. I understand why she thinks this... but I want to do everything I possibly can to convince her that it isn't true. I want to convince her that friendships are one of the greatest aspects of life and are very important. I want to convince her that there are people who do care about her such as me and my family. Heck, even some of my friends care about her by asking me how she's doing on a regular basis.
So I ask you, reddit, what do I do? What can I do to convince her that she can make good friends in the future regardless of her past experiences..? | My girlfriend believes no one cares about her and all friendships are meaningless and die quickly. How do I convince her otherwise? |
t3_1roc0r | relationships | Me [16 F] with my SO [16 M] of 6 months, moods don't match up. | Background:
We've been together almost 6 months and seen each other almost every day. He's my first real relationship and I'm sure I love him (and he loves me). He has ADHD so he takes meds during the week. I have depression so I take anti-depressants most days, and birth control every day. I don't know if it's the medications or just our personalities, but we can be very moody.
The problem:
He is sometimes very immature or easily impressed or just annoying. He isn't always like this, though. And sometimes it doesn't bother me. Usually it's worse on weekdays, when I drowning in work and stress and he is lazily browsing reddit and watching TV. It bothers me so much that he isn't stressed.
Somedays he's really loving or flirty, which I love and try to reciprocate (sometimes I have too much work to stop and begin a length make-out session).
Somedays I want to be loving and flirty and he is too busy on reddit or his email or his phone or whatever.
Sometimes I feel like he brings out the worst in my stress. Like I'll be fine until he calls me or I see him, and I'm immediately angry and stressed. Maybe I'm trying to justify my stress by becoming more stressed.
Solution?
I am very far from breaking up with him (and I think he feels the same way). When our moods are compatible, we are so good and happy together.
I've brought it up a little. I'll say things like, "you're being weird." or ask him if he's ok because he being distant.
I don't want to change him because that's not right. I guess I'm looking for advice on how to get our violent mood swings to match up or find a happy medium or maybe I'm looking for a new perspective I can take on his immaturity/annoyingness that won't make me dislike him.
Or am I just being moody and picky and stupid and should get over it?
Or does he deserve someone that can appreciate the mood swings? | our moods are always changing. How can I maximize the time that they are compatible and reduce the times that they are volatile? |
t3_10u8lh | relationships | [20F] experiencing some trouble figuring out what to do for anniversary with bf [22m] of one year | Hey all! So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now (our anniversary is next week, yikes) and I want to do something for him to show how much I love and appreciate him.
At first, I was going to make him a card and give him a homemade present (writing reasons why I love him on 50 pieces of our favorite candy). I was satisfied with this idea UNTIL I found out from a mutual friend that he's planning on getting me some jewelry that's worth $100+. I was pretty shocked to hear this because he's never spent much money on me before (we never go out to fancy restaurants or exchange expensive gifts), which I'm perfectly fine with. I was just expecting him to take me out to dinner, make me a card, and maybe give me a small/inexpensive present.
Now, I feel like my present wouldn't be good enough. I know price shouldn't really be taken into consideration in this situation, but I want to give my bf something of equal value. He always tells me that I'm not a romantic person and that I'm not very emotional so he always feels like he doesn't know where he stands with me all the time. I want to give him something really meaningful so I can show him that he's a wonderful person and that I love him more than I can say with words. | first anniversary present for boyfriend. He's most likely getting me a really beautiful and expensive piece of jewelry and I'm having trouble thinking of something to give him equally as meaningful. |
t3_31irvc | relationships | Me [28 M] I don't know how to not look like a petty jerk with my 28[F] friend | Just for some background, last weekend I got stood up on a date after giving up on dating for a year. This weekend I was going to the bars with my friend from the title, but when I showed up at her apartment, she wasn't there and didn't pick up the phone.
I waited 20 minutes then just went back home. I get a phone call an hour later. I couldn't really hear what she was saying (something about her phone sucking) but it was somehow her sister's fault.
Next day I was going to go to a car show with someone from work. They didn't show up either.
I was kinda frustrated and did some drinking because frankly I drink when I get that way. I know that's bad and I should probably seek out some help.
In any case, the 28f friend calls back up and we reschedule to go out that night. I fall asleep on the couch.
I sent her a text explaining about the drinking and the couch, but is there any way I can not make it look like I was getting petty revenge by standing her up the way she did me? | Accidentally stood up friend the day after she stood me up. How can I make sure she doesn't think it was intentional? |
t3_427w7i | relationships | I'm [16/M] in love with my best friend [16/M] even though I know I have no chance | So at the beginning of this school year I met a guy who we will call Aaron. We got to know each other over the next few months and ended up having a lot in common. Recently (I'd say 1 1/2 months ago) I realized I had feelings for him.
This wasn't new stuff for me but it was different because 1. I was/am straight, and have never had romantic feelings for a boy, and 2. He is Female-to-Male Transgender, which was only new in that I had never been friends with someone like that.
So basically even though the crush grew stronger and stronger I haven't done anything to pursue a relationship because I know for a fact that he doesn't want that kind of relationship with me. We've stayed friends and I basically have to hide the fact that I'm in love with him so that I can keep one of the only friendships I still have at this point. My problem is that I have troubles with moving on and get attached and jealous really easily.
I want to stay friends with him because he's one of the coolest people I've ever met and I really enjoy being around him, but I don't know it's the right thing to just pretend that there's nothing there even though there is, at least on my side. | What should my actions be with him? Do I move on from this friendship so that I don't get my heart broken again (even though I don't want to)? |
t3_3ruxy3 | relationships | My [M/32] fiancée [F/28] spends hours getting ready every day, and it's affecting our relationship of two and a half years. | After proposing to my fiancée a few months ago, we moved in together. She recently graduated from her Master's program and has started her first year of teaching. I knew going into this first year she would be really busy with planning, but I didn't expect so much of her time to be spent on her appearance.
She wakes up at 5:30 in the morning to shower, dry her hair, put on makeup, and pick her outfit for the day. This takes her almost an hour and a half, and she only has about fifteen minutes to eat breakfast with me around 7:00ish before she goes to school. In contrast, I only take about fifteen minutes to get ready, but because of the insane amount of time she uses to get ready I always have to make our breakfasts and lunches. It's patently unfair, and I think she's being vain to dress up for a high school teaching job.
But that's not the only issue; we don't see each other again until I get off work and meet her at the gym. We work out together, and then shower… and well, you see the redundancy. She showers twice a day (though she doesn't get her hair wet), and then puts on makeup and styles her again for dinner… even if we are just eating at home together! This is another thirty minutes of pointless primping.
We get home around 6:30, make dinner and do chores until about 8:00, and then we finally get to lounge around. Then, at 9:00, you guessed it, she primps *again* for bed. All told she spends as much as two and a half hours getting ready a day compared to my forty-five minutes. Instead of showering in the evening, she breaks up her routine into three separate events during the day. I'd say we really only spend about an hour together hanging out, and the rest of the time living separately. If she shaved off some of her time we could probably spend twice that amount of time together. | My fiancée spends two and a half hours on her appearance every day, leaving only an hour for us to just hang out together every night. |
t3_31ghj2 | relationships | I [19 M] just fucked my ex-girlfriend [20 F] who is dating somebody else, enormous guilt ensues. Should I talk to her boyfriend about it? | So my gf and I broke it off about 3 months ago after being on and off for two years. She started dating somebody relatively soon after that, and even though we were still friends it still made me really uncomfortable. Our "friendship" was muddled with residual feelings and she would like to talk about things us having sex, our past relationship etc.
She would make offhand comments about how she thought her current relationship was unsatisfactory, and me being naive I thought that she still had feelings for me and we would get back together. A few nights ago we started fooling around, and although we didn't have sex, we pushed the boundaries enough to know that we had "cheated". She said she wasn't going to tell the boy, and it tore me up and made me feel extremely guilty.
We went camping yesterday by ourselves (which was an absolute recipe for disaster), and we ended up getting drunk and having sex, which I had initiated. Woke up today and immediately left the campsite and she is furious with me. She said that we won't be talking ever again, seeing each other etc. which I know is best for us both, and she plans on telling her current boyfriend about what happened. She credits me for destroying this relationship that she has with this boy and that she's probably going to lose him.
I know that I am mostly to blame for this, and my question is that should I reach out to her current boyfriend and attempt to explain the situation and take full responsibility? The guilt I feel comes mostly from the knowledge that their relationship will end because of me and I feel its necessary that I take the fall in order for them to have even a tiny chance of salvaging it. Or should I just live with my well deserved guilt and back off from their relationship? | Feel guilty over causing my ex gf to cheat on her current bf, should I attempt to reach out to him in order to take responsibility for my actions |
t3_23n2k7 | relationships | I [18M] feel extremely good when I'm with my female friend [18F] even though we've established the relationship as platonic. | I've been friends with this girl for about 2 years and she's the type of friend who I can tell literally anything to. We discuss things like sex, politics, etc; nothing is out of bounds.
When I first met her and got to know her a bit, I developed feelings for her and told her flat out. She said she didn't feel the same way but really wanted to remain friends so we did. I even asked her if she thinks she'd ever change her mind about me and she said she doesn't think so. Soon after that, I asked her if she wanted to do a fwb arrangement and she said she's a virgin and that she wants to lose it to someone she deeply loves. That's cool with me, I still liked her as a friend.
Since then, I've dated other girls, and she's remained single, but we hangout a lot and I get this feeling when I'm with her that makes me so happy. We hangout about 3 times a week and just talk for hours. I think I like this girl even more than I did before but she's already said before that she didn't feel the same way. It gets worse and worse every time we hangout and I've become disinterested in other girls. Is there anything I can do in this situation without breaking up our friendship | fell for female friend before, she said let's be friends. Later on, still have feelings for her and don't want to end the friendship. What do? |
t3_2cgf50 | relationships | Update: Dad(50m) and I(17m) just got into the biggest fight I've ever had and now he's kicked me out of my house. | Well I took your advice and waited till the morning. I rang the doorbell and he answered. He hugged me and apologized for snapping at me and kicking me out. He felt terrible doing what he did. He bought me a new headset and I forgave him for what he did. The key thing he said was that he promised he w
ould avoid doing a drastic action again.
Today we are in Chicago for a wedding. He told me to be ready by 4:30. I took a shower and started watching TV because I had some extra time. He marches into my hotel room and starts yelling at me.
This is at 4, so I have enough time left to start. I talk to him calmly and tell him I will get into my suit. He gets pissed and sits on the chair saying either I change in front of him in 2 minutes or he takes out $200 from my bank account.
Right now I'm in shock and pissed off so I tell him no. I don't care if he is my dad. It made me really uncomfortable and I did not want to do it. He then storms out of my room saying he was going to take out now $500 for being late and sure enough I was ten minutes early and my bank account was $500 short.
Right now I'm heading towards the wedding pissed off. Did he just break his promise or was he completely justified? Also what should I do? | dad apologies and then a week later he demands I change in front of him. When I refuse he takes money from my bank account. |
t3_kzyw5 | dating_advice | 19 (M) Unsure when to contact 18 (F) | I have a similar problem. I work with this one girl (A) who I have had a crush on for a while. The other day my manager comes up to me and tells me that A has a crush on me as well. I ask her out, but she says shes not ready to date as she just got out of a relationship but she would like to go as friends. The day before we go to the movies we smoke a little cannabis together before work which I thought was a good sign. However, a friend of hers came back from college to visit for the weekend and we had to reschedule going to the movies. I told her to call me when she wanted to hang out. I have not however heard from her on the matter, but it has only been a couple of days. Should I wait a few more or does anyone have some tips for me? We are both shy people, I am however awkward when I talk to her. Any tips? | Rescheduled "hanging" out with a girl who has crush on me, don't know when I should talk to her about it |
t3_44mc02 | relationships | Me [26M] can't get a date, i still can't leave house due to low income and it appears to lower a lot the interest of the girls. | Ok, so here is the problem. I'm 26 and haven't get a girlfriend ever. Most girls aren't interested or already had a boyfriend. I see that mainly some girls also want that i already had my own hous and that things.
But this are the inconveniences:
-I still live on my parents house, mainly because i can't afford a rent with my salary. Still trying to find a better job but still no answers.
-Also can't go out before 3 years, that is the time when my father will get retirement and will spend time with my mother (i value a lot the family, and once my father can spend more time with my mother, i will worry less)
-i don't want to live on a shitty place for rent, i'm considering a cheap but good place, nothing exotic, but also not so crappy.
-I'm also a car guy, i already have a Spark, but was with my family help. But i want to buy a cheap sport car (300zx, 240z or similar) and take it to the only local speedway we have.
-To reach that, i estimate that i have to get a salary 4 or 5 times bigger than the one i have already. It's reachable for other jobs, but weirdly, my carrer is badly pay here on Mexico (Graphic Design).
So, It is possible to get a date even if i'm still living with my parents, or even if later when i live alone i struggle time to time?
What advice could you give me.
Also, i'm the typical guy that friends of my crushes said: you should be a good boyfriend to her. (but she always end with her ex or with another guy; yes, i know friendzone a lot) | Can't get a date, still can't leave home to low incomes, i believe this make me can't get dates. |
t3_2pz3hm | legaladvice | [UK] Car Insurer Threatening Not To Pay After Authorising Repairs | Last month I was involved in a fairly minor traffic accident. Essentially a car was indicating left at a roundabout (only options were straight and left) but carried on straight over. I had moved out, assuming they were turning left. My fault. I accept that.
Now the insurance company said that they would do all their checks (including indemnity) before authorising repairs. Eventually (about 2 weeks later) they authorised the repairs and the car was taken away. That was about 3-4 weeks ago. The day before yesterday, the car was finally returned, yay! Then yesterday, I received a letter from the indemnity department saying that there was an incident that had not been originally declared. This is where I need help and I apologise for the long post.
The incident relates to my dad (the main driver and registered keeper) from back in December 2009. Someone (we'll call him A) had stopped in front of my dad and shouted at him for apparently blocking A at a junction. He threatened to claim that my dad touched his car. My dad got home and rang his insurance company asking for advice. They told him it was probably just road rage and not to worry about it, though they'll make a note of it just in case.
This was the incident our insurer is now referring to. It wasn't declared because they had asked for details of any 'accidents, losses or thefts'. We didn't think general road rage fell under any of these catagories, but now the insurer says they will not pay out and are asking for all sorts of random details (i.e. why did we decide to purchase our car back in 2008).
My questions to you good people are such:
a). Am I going to have to fork out for the damages to both cars involved in this incident?
b). Can the insurer just change their mind like this after they've already authorised repairs? Something they said they would do only after checking indemnity.
Thank you for your time reading this! I'm not too familiar with posting topics, so if there's anything I've missed or should've done then please let me know and I will edit it in (e.g. don't understand what a 'link flair' is). | insurer said they'd make checks before authorising repairs. Authorised repairs then are demanding we pay for them due to checks they were meant to have already done beforehand. |
t3_ihqaa | AskReddit | Why is it still ok to say "retard" as a derogatory term? | Anyone with half a brain understands why we have stopped using offensive terms that insult a whole group of people. It's no longer "cool" to call people the N-word, though many assholes still do. It's no longer cool to call people "fag" or say something's "gay", although many jerks still do. But for some reason, everyone can still get away with calling other people "retard" and making the Carlos Mencia noises. Why is that? Is it because there's little to no danger of someone affected by the actual condition being around to hear it? And even if they were there, they wouldn't kick your ass or yell at you or make you feel bad like people from the other groups?
When is the world going to grow up and realize that say "retard" doesn't make you cool? They have a problem, what's your excuse? | Don't say "retard", it's just as bad as all the other no-no words, and it makes you a giant asshole. |
t3_29fq9q | relationships | Me [24 M] with my crush [25F] few months, long distance, happy birthday text trying too hard? | I had a crush on a girl in high school. Randomly bumped into her a few months ago, surprised she remembered me from 7 years ago. Got her phone number, and we went out with a group the following week. She texted me and said she had a blast.
We texted a bit, was scheduled to go on a one on one date, but she had to reschedule because friend died. Ended up not happening because I moved 10 hours north (new job-plan on moving back after a year) that week. Ever since I bumped into her, I can't keep thinking about her, she's really nice, very genuine and sweet and really pretty. Just an overall awesome person!
I texted her on Friday, saying that I haven't been fired yet and asked how she was doing. She found it funny, told me she's going out with her friends for early birthday dinner, and asked me how was the move.
Her birthday is next week. I'm going to visit home in August, should I text her happy birthday and see if she wants to grab lunch/dinner when I visit in August?
I feel like I'm trying too hard, because she never initiates the texting, but she sounds excited/happy when replying. She said she was glad I texted her and she uses alot of question and exclamation marks (or is that just a girl thing). But she never initiates and it's usually short lasting conversations.
Thanks! | Live 10 hours away, Should I text her happy birthday and see if she wants to grab lunch/dinner when I'm in town in August? Or does that seem to desperate? |
t3_17ldek | college | WeirdRoommates.com - WeirdRoommates.com - come tell us about your weird college roommates (x-post /r/funny) | **
so I made this website a while back and never really advertised its existence outside of my circle of friends. I figured I'd post it here to get a little extra exposure.
The idea came about mostly because my freshman year in college I had one of the weirdest roommates of all time. He did a lot of weird shit, but I'll indulge you with one story in particular for now.
So one day we we decided to invite him to join us in a game of Mario Party. We already knew he was pretty weird, but wanted to try and be at least a little nice. We were about 15 turns in, and one of my friends steals this kid's star. Now a normal college kid's reaction would be to get a little angry, chug a beer, and steal that shit back, but this was no normal college kid. Right as it happened, he LEAPED across the room, lurching at my friend like he was Michael Phelps diving into an Olympic swimming pool, and starts clawing at his pant legs like a kitten playing with his toy catnip mouse. We all started dying laughing, and the kid just starts crying uncontrollably. He was so upset, he ripped out the N64 and stormed off into his room. After this incident, we banned him from all N64 activities for the next month and put up a big sign above it to remind him. Unfortunately the sign only made him want to play more, and after that incident he completed DK64 to 100% in 3 days time, which is absolutely absurd in and of itself. There were a lot of other crazy stories to come out of that first year of school, but I will save those for another time. | So if you also had a weird roommate in college, please come and tell us your stories at WeirdRoommates.com. I look forward to reading them |
t3_4v1p1i | relationships | Me [20M] I am insecure, but recently it was better. Today I turned 20 and I have all the joys of a birthday... Don't know what to think or do... | So. Today I turned 20. I feel depressed, not sad, just empty.
I originally had planned on just meeting up with one of my best friends, just watch films. (Only her, I don't know why but I am at a point where I both want to reach out to people but feel conflicted and refuse to.) However, I found out fairly last minute she had to attend a wending on the day and cancelled; further she will be working before, and at least 4 days after the event. Other best friend at least contacted me but she's moving house in another city. I didn't make any alternative plans as I was just feeling extremely low that I wouldn't see either of my best friends.
Further, this morning I realised I had my privacy setting on FB so it didn't show my birthday, I eventually turned it off at around noon, a few people whom I'm not close with then proceeded to wish me a happy birthday. I'm a uni student, and I thought I had made close friends at Uni, but only one or two wished me a happy birthday. The closest group I was with, whom I travelled abroad with and hang out with didn't even seem to notice.
I'm already in a one sided but I feel justified friendship with one of my best friends, this birthday has just hit me hard and I feel like no one cares. | Hi! I'm alone for my birthday, stalking my own fb feeling bad for myself. Super healthy ain't it? |
t3_2m1gss | relationships | Me [21m] asking out a girl [19f] already in a relationship | I've been hanging out more and more with a girl who's in a relationship. Nothing scandalous has happened, but I do have a crush on her. I honestly think she feels the same way. I'd never try and convince her to cheat, but I would like to ask her to date me instead.
Is it wrong for a man to ask out a woman who's in a relationship not to cheat but to get her to leave her current guy? There's no kids involved, there's no ring on her finger, they aren't living together. It seems like the knee-jerk reaction would be to say that yes, it's bad because you're hurting someone else's feelings. But isn't it a carnal thing? Sure, I'm taking her away from another man. But isn't that just sort of how things are? As long as nobody is getting cheated on, or lied to, what's the problem?
Even single women seem to have tons of guys just hanging around who are incredibly emotionally involved. If I waited around and tried not to step on anyone's toes, I feel as though I'd never get a chance. Why am I obligated to respect her boyfriends desires? I want the exact same thing he does. I'm not trying to fool anybody. I feel like I'm just standing up for what I want.
Of course, I could be wrong, which is why I want you guys to give me your opinion. Different perspectives would be very helpful. | Is it fundamentally wrong to try and persuade a girl you're friends with to break up with her boyfriend and be with you instead? |
t3_3fgcyz | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] of 1.5 years have been having issues with her family, specifically her mother, how can I make amends? | My girlfriend's mother and I have never seen eye to eye. last summer she had said/done hurtful things to me, and it came to her telling me my parents raised me wrong and I'm a bad person in a letter. I replied with a letter that was not too kind to her (no cursing or accusations, but trying to establish I'm at least not a bad person, but I ended up hurting her back.) This resulted in her making my gf break up with me through what I see as emotional manipulation (being very cold to my gf).
We got back together once we returned to school last fall, which made her mom furious. We have been together since then and I've tried everything to get through to her (flowers, letters, trying to come by to talk) but to no avail. I am not allowed to her house, not even to pick her up for a date (we are long distance when not in school).I plan on being with my gf for a long while and marriage is a serious possibility. I will not break up with my gf. I just want suggestions on actions I may take to make amends with her mother. | GF's mother greatly dislikes me and I just want to begin to make amends, what actions should I take? |
t3_4kln5i | relationships | Me [23M] with my friend [27F] know each other for about 2 months, but now she's changing. | First time, I knew her because she asked me to fix her tutorial computer. After that, we started to do group assignment together. Then we were getting know each other from texting.
After texting in a while, I started to grow an interest on her, because I feel something unique and different on her.
We started to go out together (even we were with our friends, which was about 8 people in the group) 2 weeks ago but I was with her all the time and talked about many topics. And I can felt that she was also a very good person. (note: we haven't go to a date yet, because both of us busy, and next month will be exam week).
She was very responsive on the texting on the past months, but then last week, suddenly she only read my text, and she didn't talk to much. On the other hand, every time I met her on the Uni, she always say hi to me, and being nice to me all the time. She told me that she was getting a job somewhere but then I felt like she's avoiding me on the chat, but not in the real life.
I think by she ignoring me on chat is her move saying "no" to me softly but I'm pretty bad at guessing, so I would like to have your opinions.
Thank you | Know a girl from my uni, past couple of months went great, but suddenly everything changes last week. I think she's trying to avoid me on text messages but not in real life. |
t3_4sxo8n | relationships | Me [23F] and my [26M] boyfriend dated for a year, are on a "break", how long do I wait it out? | My boyfriend and I recently started long distance. It was going well at first, but we kept having arguments over when to talk. He's more causaul and likes to catch up whenever it's convenient for both of us (sometimes not talking for a couple days), I like to have a schedule and commit to talking at least once a day because I think it's healthy and good for the relationship. One day he was out with friends and did answer his phone the next morning. I was honestly more upset that he didn't just check in and let me know he was alive.
TBH I was very stressed with my move and making things work that I did say some means things I regret. After the argument, he wanted to take a "break" and often says we are broken up. I apologize at ever chance I get. I'm working on being his best friend again. And we still talk almost every day, but just as "friends" Honestly it sucks because I don't know if he'll ever come around and forgive me. There is a part of me that wants him to just love me again and be with me.
On top of that I get nervous when we talk. Am I saying the right things? Am I being a "friend" so he knows I support him in this time without coming off as someone who isn't interest. Is it even healthy for me to talk to him? Should I move on or keep waiting? I mean this is the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I'm so torn. | I'm still in love with my ex who says we are on a "break" Do I wait for him to come around or move on? |
t3_1ivjpq | relationships | I am a [28/F] in a 3mo relationship with a [28/M] who thinks that the past is best kept private. | I am a very open person, but the guy that I am currently in a relationship with is extremely reluctant to share anything about his past. He is also uninterested in knowing anything about my past. We have been together for about three months and we've never really talked about our sexual history or our past in general.
This bothers me.
I feel like learning about someone's past helps you understand them better. I also think its a good way to bond. On the other hand, I can see how, if you've changed a lot, you might not want other people to know about your past for fear of being misjudged.
So what do you guys think about this? When you are in a relationship with someone, should you have open conversations about your pasts, or do you think it's better to keep your history to yourself and focus on the future? | I think its important to share your history with your partner. SO thinks its better to keep the past private. thoughts? |
t3_21lcgw | running | Trail 5k + Mud + Vibrams = injury? | I'm running my first 5k in the am, happens to be a trail run. I'm very comfortable with the distance, but I haven't ever run an organized 5k and I haven't run on a trail in a long time. Wasn't actually planning on running a 5k but I've been training for a 10k in April and this race happened to come up so I signed on.
The problem: It's going to rain all day today.
Second problem: since really starting to run in December, I've only run in vibrams (bikila ls).
Am I tempting injury in trying to do this race? I figured I'd treat it as a fun run anyway since I've got no real experience on trails. | am I going to get hurt running my first 5k on trails that I haven't trained on, potentially in the mud, with vibrams? |
t3_siktk | AskReddit | Reddit, My friends and I are going to SASQUATCH MUSIC FESTIVAL for our second year and want to do something EPIC - Ideas? | Last year on our way down we stopped and bought a ton of car paint, we decorated the shit out of our truck, and were pulled over by highway patrol because people were hanging out of their car windows trying to get pictures etc and we were told we were a dangerous distraction on the road.
We had an awesome amount of face and body paint as well that the girls at our site would decorate us up with - which then led to a lot of people stopping in and getting wasted with us.
We had beer bongs, beer pong tables, resealable caps for smuggling booze in water bottles, and the like, but we want to do something epic this year - we do plan on bringing down a generator and some speakers but that's all we have so far...
What kind of things have you seen/done at a music festival before?
Costumes, Camp setups, drinking games, any ideas that will make our site the PLACE TO BE! | We painted our truck, and ourselves, had all the standard drinking games and equipment but want to step it up this year. |
t3_16d4sy | relationships | How to help my girlfriend of 2 years to trust me [Both 21] | hi /r/relationships
My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 2 years now and I would describe it as good, I love her very much.
Our problem is trust, I trust her, but she doesn't trust me. About 1.5 years ago we were talking about masturbation and porn. I told her I masturbated a couple times a week but wasn't into porn (which is true). She told me that she didn't really like that I did that, but didn't ask me to stop.
I asked her why she didn't like it and she said she feels like that's her job to make me feel like that, and that she worries about that when we have sex that ill think that it's better when I do it by myself.
So I understood that and promised her I wont do that to myself anymore, and promised not to watch porn, and I also promised her not to look at any other girls.
She is very self-conscious so that's why i made those promises to her. They mean a lot to her, and its easy for me not to do those things and I just wanted to reassure her. (And I have no problem keeping these promises, it is not the problem).
So now almost on a **daily** basis she asks me if I have broken any of those promises (which I haven't). She has trust issues from before we met, and I get that and I want to help, but it still drives me crazy and I'm starting to get upset when she asks me.
She says she doesn't trust me because my friends talk about stuff like that: "hey check that girl out"... etc. And also she says "Every guy wants to" just because of the idea that all guys are sex-driven.
How can I help her believe that I haven't broken her trust?
Thank-you in advance. | Promised my gf not to do something 1.5 years ago, she still asks me if i have almost daily, driving me crazy. |
t3_2z2jgj | Dogtraining | Getting my dog accustomed to his new dog house | Hey there,
I have a 2 1/2 year old German Shepard/Cattle Dog mix (At least that's what we were told). We live in Southern California and it's started getting quite hot again. We always keep his outdoor water bowl filled with fresh water, but recently we bought him a dog house to help provide more shade. Just for reference he is already crate trained and absolutely loves his crate, so it's not an issue of confined spaces I don't think.
It's a good sized dog house, definitely big enough for him, but not too big. We also bought him a new bed which we've placed in the dog house on top of a cooling pad to try and keep things from getting too hot.
We only got the dog house about 3 days ago, so it really hasn't been too long, but he hasn't really been using the house at all and I'm wondering if there are any strategies we could use to get him accustomed to his new dog house or if it's more just a matter of time and patience, and he'll start using it on his own time when he figured out that it's shady and comfortable in there.
Any advice/tips/strategies would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks! | We got our dog a dog house to stay cool. So far he's shown very little interest. How can we acclimate him to it? |
t3_1x7c9m | relationship_advice | I don't know if it's time to move on, advice very much appreciated. [f17] [m18] | For starters I'm not one to give up easily. I believe in talking about the problem and fixing it and moving on. I know that most people think young relationships are stupid because they don't last forever and teens don't know what they are doing. Most of my relationships have been very long, my longest was 2years. I like long committed relationships. The guy I'm currently dating is very unlike most I know, or have dated. We've been dating for 2 months now, and I'm already having problems in my head. I don't know if I'm just being unreasonable or this is actually an issue. It didn't start until we both got in trouble and had our phones taken. Him[m18] a week and me[f17] 2 and a half. Doesn't sound long but it felt so. Over that time the communication was horrible. I thought it would get better once we were talking more again, but I feel like he's gotten too used to not talking to me. Every time I confront him about why we aren't talking as much he says he's just "busy" even though that was never an issue before. I believe and know that we are past the honeymoon phase and things get rough after that. I feel unappreciated and he doesn't act like I'm a priority. I have confronted him several times about the issue, last night being the last of it because I've given up fighting with him, he is currently ignoring me ( at least i think so) and I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on him, it seems almost disrespectful and unfair. He says he understands but I don't see change yet..
Thanks for your time.. | boyfriend and I of 2months already having communication issues. I've confronted him that I don't feel like a priority, what to do? Should I give up already and move on? |
t3_3z071p | relationships | Me [21 M] getting girl [20 F] I've been on four dates with, an apology gift | So I criticized the major she is studying. I unfortunately did it in a disrespectful manner and she told me she doesn't want to keep going out. I deeply regret not showing her the respect she deserves and I find it unfortunate because we both really enjoy the time we spent together.
Now we've only been on four dates but we've already gotten intimate but we still didn't consider ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend at the time. Would it be creepy to send her some tulips as an apology gift? Tulips because it's something between me and her. I'm thinking it would look stalkish even though I've been to her place a couple of times. Or should an apology without a gift suffice.
Also, for my apology, would it be more personal to send it via text or via a recording so she could at least hear my voice. She hasn't replied to my last message, which is why I'm thinking of sending the apology as a recording. | How do I apologize to this girl I've been dating? Would a gift sent to her house be creepy at this point? |
t3_2rr81d | tifu | TIFU by attempting to drive to work | So reddit, this happened earlier this morning. I decided to drive up to my girlfriend's house last night once I got off of work ( hour away from work, even farther from where I live, she had to move for school), and my plan was to leave here around 6:30 am to be to work for 8:00 am.( a few days ago my car was stuck on a hill so I was revving it trying to get it unstuck, which was eventually successful). So I get up this morning and hop in my car and off to work I go. I pull up to the lights to get onto the highway. Its a red so I pop it in neutral and wait for it to change. The light turns green so I go to pop it into first gear, my shiftstick will not go into gear whatsoever, I could only put it in reverse. So I had to push my car off the highway into a gas station parking lot. It's fucked. I had to call into work and use a sickday. Last night I was driving here with it on cruise and I heard a thump, I didnt think anything of it, thinking I hit a raccoon or someshit.apparently it was my clutch going to shit. | Didnt pay attention to warning signs of car, clutch fucked up. Have to get it towed for an hour and a half. Had to call into work. |
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