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t3_2udvii | relationships | [M24] quick question about [F22] friend??? | Long story short. I met this girl 2 years ago, we became friends. She knew I had a Gf, I knew she had a Bf. We talk from time to.time and hung out a couple of times as friends.
Me and my Gf recently found out we were expecting and kept it secret until January. My Gf posted it all over fb and tagged me in it, so I thought everybody knew.
The girl (friend) then sent me a message asking if I was gonna be a dad. I told her yes and the due date. She basically didn't even congratulate me and just said that I don't even tell her anything and has not talked to me.since. | Is she jealous and if so why because she has a Bf of 3 yrs. And we are just friends. |
t3_bkrzo | AskReddit | Reddit, I have to hire a programmer, but I'm not sure how to find the right one. What questions should I ask? | Some background: I'm overseeing the production of an educational web-enabled simulation for a college in Virginia. It's basically like a choose-your-own-adventure kind of game where users are shown little video clips and then are asked to make decisions about what they've seen. Depending on their decision, they'll be shown positive, negative, or neutral consequences. These in turn will lead to more video clips, and more decisions. Every decision the user makes will be scored.
My initial idea was to try and have the game developed in HTML5/Javascript, but I think that technology is still not quite at the level of sophistication/acceptance it needs to be (for the purposes of this simulation). I am resigned to the fact, therefore, that it will probably have to be built in Actionscript/Flash.
I have a conceptual understanding of the programming needs, but I don't know any of the actual strengths/limitations of Flash (nor do I know how to code myself). This is why I need a programmer on the team. What questions should I ask my prospective programmer in order to ensure I hire the right person for the job?
Any general interviewing tips would be appreciated as well. | What questions should I, a non-programming but tech-savvy individual, ask of a programmer in hiring to create my educational web-enabled (probably Flash) simulation? |
t3_2jpu0a | relationship_advice | I'm [23F] new to dating and unsure of how to proceed with guy [27] I'm seeing | Hi r/relationship_advice.
As the title says, I'm new to the dating scene. About 6 months ago I broke up with my long-time boyfriend (since high school) so I've never really "dated" before. I recently met a guy online, we met in person a few weeks ago and seem to have hit it off. We've been on a handful of dates and text every day. I am starting to genuinely like him (more than just a friend or only physical attraction), but since I don't know what the "rules" are about this sort of stuff I'm kind of navigating blindly here.
He's the only guy I'm seeing and I'm pretty sure (although not certain) I'm the only person he's currently dating, too. I know it's too soon to talk about being exclusive (and I don't want to have that talk yet, even if I am only seeing him) but I'm unsure as to whether or not we're on the same page in terms of what kind of relationship we're both looking for. Things have gotten physical (which I'm more than okay with) but I feel like I need clarification as to whether he sees me as someone to hook up with or a potential relationship. Basically, I just want to know what I'm getting myself into.
I guess my question is at what point is it okay to have that sort of conversation? Not necessarily asking to be exclusive, just more so about the nature of our relationship as it stands and what he is looking for? | Recently started dating a guy after being in a serious relationship for years before. Unsure of how he sees the relationship and don't know if/when is an appropriate time to talk to him about it? |
t3_1p6ael | relationship_advice | I'm 20/f, my boyfriend 20/m masturbates to other girls on facebook when he's alone | My boyfriend (20/m) and I (20/f) have been together for 8 months now. I went over to his house one day to stay for the night and I found his laptop open with a facebook page of his excrush (the girl he liked before liking me) and a video on xhamster.
I confronted him about it and he said it wasn't what i thought. However, this was the only day I confronted him about it since there was a porn tab open as well. I've actually seen his laptop with tabs of other girls on fb before and when I asked him about it, he told me he just wanted to see how people changed since highschool. I called bullshit cause he was obviously browsing through their photos on more than one occasion but I left it at that till now.
I really don't mind if he masturbates to porn but something about him masturbating to girls who we know really bothers me. I've read others' questions similar to mine and answers usually revolve around things like "it's natural for guys", "you're too controlling", but is it too much to ask for a guy that thinks I'm enough for him? Is it too much to ask for a guy that doesn't need to look and jack off to other girls around us that he sees as more attractive than me? Maybe I've just watched too many romcoms. Although I confronted him about it and obviously showed him that I was upset by it, he continues to do it. I really don't know what to do. Please answer seriously. | Boyfriend masturbates to other girls on facebook (including his ex and excrush), is it normal? Is it abnormal for me to feel this way? What should I do? |
t3_54clqr | relationships | I'm (24M) thinking about ending relationship with my girlfriend (21F) because of her past. | Hi Reddit!
I'm in a situation where I'm thinking about breaking up with my gf because of her past.. We have been together for one year now and whats bothering me is that she slept with my close friend BEFORE we started dating. That didn't seem like an obstacle in the beginning of the relationship but it is bothering me more and more each day.
It is just too much for me to feel comfortable thinking about them two together, specially when (if) we three are at the same location.
Since my issue hasn't becomed any better in the past year I'm having a hard time seeing a future with her. I need your help Reddit!
Sorry about the format but I'm on my mobile. | I am thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend since her past (she slept with my close friend before we met) is really bothering me and I need your opinions. |
t3_15scrk | relationships | Wife and I trying to conceive, I messed up, feeling very guilty | My[30m] wife[28f] and I have been trying to conceive for about a year and a half now, but no lck. We've started seeing fertility doctors, and they've checked us out, everything is fine with her, but I have low sperm motility, meaning I have ample sperm, but they aren't getting to the egg.
I had been a daily pot smoker and the doctor said this was the most likely reason for the problem. My wife was upset as she had asked me to stop smoking months before (she doesn't have a problem with smoking per se as she smokes sometimes too), and I hadn't. I didn't take it seriously at first as I have many friends who smoke far more than I do and have kids.
Anyways, after the doctor said to stop, I stopped, that was two months ago. Two weeks ago at a party I slipped up and had some puffs n a joint. I feel incredibly guilty about it and am torn as to whether I should own up to it or not. I really don't want to keep things from my wife, but she will be incredibly disappointed in me if she finds out.
Advice? | Wife and doctor asked me to stop smoking pot to help us conceive. I did, but slipped up about two weeks ago. Should I tell my wife? |
t3_15c6my | needadvice | Losing hope for my skin condition. | Hey all, I'm a 24 year old guy with some serious skin problems. It started roughly 8 years ago when I was still in High School. Eczema, dermatitis, ringworm, fungal infection, etc etc were all thrown around by many of the different dermatologists I went to. I missed a month of school because it had spread to my face and my chest, completely covering those areas. I woke up in the middle of the night with a bloody shirt because I would scratch in my sleep. I tried to tie my hands to the bed post in desperation. I finally found a dermatologist who prescribed me steroid cream to make it go away. I felt like
I was reborn.
Then the bad news. My body gets addicted to the cream, and I have to stop using it. Here comes the eczema full steam again. At one point I spent well over a 1000 dollars on acupuncture, and she was the best doctor I went to. She took time to help me and talk to me to figure out what was going on. We concluded I'm allergic to sugar and dairy. It helped a ton. But now, here I am at 24 years old with my thighs, ankles, and underarms all flared up. This long winded buildup leads me to my question. Are there any doctors out there that can help me from the inside out? I have no hope in traditional dermatologists who just prescribe me a topical solution and boot me out the door. Where can I find these kinds of doctors? Any doctors that work with herbs that can help me internally?
It may not sound bad, but this has become debilitating. I can't exercise because when I sweat it becomes worse, I can't sleep some nights because it flares up and I scratch and itch all night. When with my girlfriend I feel like I can't get as intimate because of this, even though she says she doesn't mind. Basically I'm lost. **If anyone can help me find a doctor that works with herbs, or uses internal means versus external means to help cure me please let me know. Anywhere in the Los Angeles area. | I have a debilitating skin condition, I have gone to many doctors with no luck, getting desperate. Need someone to help me find a doctor that deals with internal medicine. |
t3_f0f49 | AskReddit | Thinking about a mistress...Has anyone done this and what was your experience? | Hi all,
Some background. My wife is ten years older than me. We met when she was 30. Since that time we have pumped out a couple kids, built houses, and have a life together. We had a fantastic sex life for a long time that was very much a part of our relationship.
Once my wife hit 40 her desire for physical intimacy started to tone down. She is now 46 and has almost no desire for sex. Both her and her doctor think this is because of hormone changes as she approaches menopause. However, hormone therapy is not recommended in her case.
My wife is comfortable and happy with the level of sex drive she has, and has tried "going through the motions" but it actually is worse for her to do something she is not in the mood for. We've tried a variety of things and she actually suggested me finding another outlet.
I was very surprised at this, but we came up with some rules to follow. My wife is fine with the physical interaction with another woman, but she doesn't want it to become too emotional.
I've been thinking about a real mistress... We are very well off financially and I have thought about some of the online services. It seems like if I could get some attention physically in exchange for helping someone younger with their needs it would work to deal with my wife's concerns about it becoming more emotional.
Most men seem to marry women younger than them (so sex drives more aligned, at least in my mind), so maybe this is not something that common, but I'm wondering what people think and if anyone has had any success (or failures) solving this kind of thing.
For the record, I am not talking about someone who is 22. But it seems like someone who views it as more of a mutually beneficial arrangement might be less likely to cause emotional issues for my wife.
Thoughts? | My wife's sex drive is very low and isn't interested and suggested I find someone else to fulfill those needs, as long as it doesn't become emotional. Would a mistress work? |
t3_3nl6yl | relationships | Having a really stupid fight with my (14/f) mom (54/f) over a guitar | Im gonna keep this short and simple
I really wanted a guitar but my mom refused . She said to my dad that if he was to buy me a guitar, he would have to pay her the amount he spent on the guitar in cash.
Yesterday, I found the guitar I wanted was on sale and the guy was nice enough to even give me a discount on it. So my dad bought it for me. But here's the problem: I can't bring or play it in the house simply because my mom doesn't want me to.
It's been sitting in my dad's car boot and he said that I would have to take it to the music room at school and play it there and I could only bring it home during school holidays which I only get once every few months and even then would have to pretend it was the school's
I really don't want to have to do that and it just annoys me that I can't lay a single finger on my own guitar. Is there any way at all that I can just play my guitar at home without having a screaming match? Thanks | Just bought a guitar and my mom is strongly against it. Can't bring it home and I have to hide it at school. I really don't want to. Help xx |
t3_54k5z3 | Advice | Need help with depression, I'm a Vietnamese, 18y M | So basically I'm depressed almost all the time. When in a traffic jam, when in a talking crowd, when in a convo with some people. I feel like being hated by people and my family, like an outcast. I can easily be upset about thinking, like why did I do that, why did I hurt that one, why did bla bla bla, et cetera. I find it hard talking to people because they don't quite share my characteristics, therefore I don't have many friends. The best part is girls tend to hate me more than guys do. My family is not happy with my grandparents are very conservative and strict, my dad can't bring much anticipations, he didn't spend enough time for me as a child, he seems doesn't care/know about my insides. My parents divorced 12 years ago. What should I do now, and what should I give up holding on? | A pessimist, introvert is here (me btw), living in a not-so-good family, an unpleasant life and asking for help from every users possible. Thank you for everything |
t3_3o9rrx | offmychest | I'm obsessively in love with a celebrity and feel like I'm going crazy. | So there's a female actress I've recently developed a crush on. She's not super famous, only played a couple recurring roles, around 60k followers on Twitter? She's just so gorgeous and perfect, she's into the same stuff I am, we're close in age, and seems like someone who I could genuinely be good friends with (and maybe more assuming I'm right about her being bisexual). She also lives in a city I plan to move to next year.
I am NOT someone who cares about celebrities/pop culture at all and am not sure why I've suddenly become obsessed but I have watched the series she's in multiple times, I check her social media accounts multiple times a day (and gone back through years of tweets), I've even made a twitter account and have been desperately been trying to build up my social media presence for my eventual attempt at getting her to follow me.
So yeah I just needed to get that off my chest because I'm going insane over here, I'm turning into the kind of fangirl I'd usually laugh at. Aaaand I feel like I'm ready to go hop on a plane and casually stake out places she frequents. | I'm a big gay creep and I literally can't think about anything but how much I want to meet this relatively unknown actress and make her love me. |
t3_2x1z31 | tifu | TIFU by guessing my female bosses age... | For some background, I am a medical student, and as a medical student you follow higher up doctors around the hospital for 2 month long placements. At the end of these placements you get your forms graded and signed by your team lead and thus pass the placement and rotate to another department.
Now these team leads are at total liberty to give you any grade and justify it with a note at the bottom titled "poor participation" and the uni never overrides these, there is no appeal process.
Anyway, as a group of us are sitting down with coffee (that they had just bought us students) someone mentions that our team lead is young for her position (a reg in her last year before consultantcy if anyone knows medical hierarchy) and I say (breaking one of my own rules on never guessing a woman's age) "yes, concords-boss, you look aboooout early thirties" which IS young for that position! But of course she is even younger at 27. So everyone gasps and scoffs and she calls me an asshole/stupid to guess an age (while jokingly, but also somewhat serious) and she proceeds to look quite hurt, so I backpedal and apologize and dig down into that hole, and go to lunch break where i proceed to curl up in ball and scream at my past self within my head.
Looking forward to my appraisal now let me tell you, but I also feel really guilty, she's usually so nice to us...
In my defense I only said early thirties cause I thought someone had told me that was her age, she genuinely looks younger, but of course saying that now sounds so hollow. | guessed my boss's age as 5 years too old, boss was hurt, I am potentially failing the placement as a result. |
t3_2jvg2c | weddingplanning | Help - Should I get a practical wedding dress or my dream dress? | I'm looking for some help in picking between two dresses - a beautiful lace, keyhole back wedding dress, and a retro-style, more practical wedding dress.
First I found this lace wedding dress and fell in love with it. I love lace, and this is the type of dress I imagined myself wearing as my wedding dress. However, it is clearly a wedding dress, and could not be worn on other occasions.
( It's beautiful and everything I want in a dress, but I could only wear it once.
Then I found this retro dress which I also like a lot, and is more practical, since I could dye it a different color after my wedding day and could wear it for other occasions. However, it has more of a vintage feel, which is not so much "me"/my style, but is still nice looking and would look good on me.
I would prefer the lace dress, but practicality is making me hesitant about buying a dress I could only wear once. Help! Which one should I buy?
( | I am torn - should I buy my lace "dream dress" that I could only wear once, or another pretty dress that I could wear to other occasions? |
t3_1ebrz2 | relationships | SO [m,22] has a lot of anxieties regarding issues outside the relationship, I [f,22] want to support him but he's acting so differently. | We've been dating for just over a year now, and things have always been really wonderful. Usually when something is bothering either one of us we're able to discuss it rationally and really work together to tackle it.
But he's pretty guarded sometimes when it comes down to dealing with his own issues because he thinks it's burdensome for me, which I do my best to demonstrate otherwise. We're each others' best friend and he (eventually) comes to me with whatever is troubling him, so when I gauged last week that something was the matter (based off of his uncharacteristically distant and reserved demeanor) he told me about his complicated and stressful financial situation.
He hasn't asked for any help addressing or coping with his issues when I offer it, he wants to deal with it himself; which is fine, but the extra stress is causing him to withdraw from the relationship. Is it unreasonable to expect him to either turn to me for help or stop punishing me for his external stress? | SO won't let me help him go through rough patch in his life, acting cold toward me as a result of said rough patch. |
t3_2ns7dt | relationships | My 6yo relationship has just ended (2 days ago). I guess I'm experiencing depression for the first time in my life... | Hi. My name is John, I'm a 24 yo male and my girlfriend (23) has just broken up with me this very Thursday. Today is the second day without her and I'm already feeling like this is the worst moment in my entire life.
I'm literally sobbing right now....
I have no desire to do anything, all I feel right now is a deep deep sadness within me... I honestly feel like I'm depressed for the first time in my life...............
I really don't know if anyone will find this post worth notice, but I really feel like if I don't let this go off my chest... I'm gonna explode.
I never felt like this before.... this sadness, I'm so sad... so sad. I don't know what to do anymore and I don't have the will to do anything either. My world just crumbled in front of me and the worst part is that it was all my fucking FAULT! I hate myself so much because I let this happen... Oh my god... this hurts so much..
I just want this to come to an end. :(
even when typing a sad face, it remembers me of her..... I HATE MYSELF! | My 6yo relationship has just ended and I don't know what to do. I'm experiencing depression for the first time in my life. I think I wanna die.. |
t3_1ko730 | travel | Help with Schengen Visa | The last thing I need to apply for the visa is proof of return date from Spain, but how do i prove that I' coming back if I dont wanna buy the ticket AND THEN apply for a potential to be denied? ( i doubt i would but you never know)
I'm thinking there has to be an easy, risk free way of doing this, without paying extra for a refundable ticket.
And what if you dont know when you're coming back. I spose i did read somewhere they wrote " dont buy your ticket until you have your visa" but then it could be too late and the prices would be higher. But then i guess you could say i shouldve prepared sooner. | Applying for Spain Visa. How do i prove I'm coming back from Spain without buying a 2-way plane ticket and showing them, just in case I don't get accepted for the visa |
t3_r2j7z | AskReddit | What was one of the worst things that one of your friends done to a teacher in school that you thought was out of order? | I was in secondary school (high school to americans, I think :P ) anyway, was in secondary school in year 11 in english class and we had this supply teacher (probably around the age of 20-24) and she was stunning and ginger (fittest ginger I've ever seen to this day tbh lol) I'll let you imagine a beautiful 20-24 year old english supply teacher :P
Anyway, She was helping in my english class one time and I used to like joke around with her and seemed cool whilst doing work and she was helping out a couple of my mates (some I admit were dickheads to others) and she was sitting down helping them do their work, one of my mates got his phone out and was trying to get pictures of up her skirt, she found out that he was doing it, and looked very like embarrassed and upset that it had happend (whether or not my mate got pictures or not)
I remember she acted as if it never happend, and I was thinking how much of a dick he was (even whilst doing it) and she came over to our desk where other mates were (I think to get away from my dickhead friends) and I said to her something like "don't let it get to you, they're dickhead anyway" and she smiled and was kinda like saying thanks whilst holding in how upset she was.
got to near the end of school (she never taught in our lessons ever again) and she had left the school (i'm not sure if it was because of what happend or just had to leave)
Another serious one but didn't affect me as much as the first.
Primary school when I was like 8 or 9 (20 now) one of my mates had a really bad anger + ADHD and he was fighting with his brother (don't know why) and this female teacher came over to stop them fighting, she got hold of him and then he suddenly started to beat up the teacher (she must of been like 40-50, I don't know was along time ago) | had a friend who was trying to take pictures of her upskirt on his phone, she finds out get embarrassed and upset, she quits later on |
t3_2p4k6y | relationships | Decided to stay with my [F17] cheating boyfriend [M17], its hard and I need advice | So the obvious will come immediatley, get rid of him etc etc, thats what everyone has always told me to do, but I just cant :/
Background: Been togther 2 years, found out he did some things with another girl 2 months into the relationship, he never had the balls to say and I found out because the girl came forward.
At first we broke up. We still spoke, saw eachother, hugged. I wanted to get over it and forget it, which I thought was possible and just keep him as a friend.
Within a few days he asked if we can get back together?!?! Honesty I was surprised and pissed at his nerve to ask that. BUT, despite what had happened a few days on I took him back. I did this because he's my world and I did miss him so much. If this were the other way around I guess it'd be different, but I'm justifying it by everyone deserves a second chance.
Every now and again I get really upset, angry and heartbroken. I cant deal with the fact he lied to me, my trust for him was so high and I loved him with all my heart, but thats all gone right now.
I guess all I want to know is have I made the right choice? I do want us to be together I just want to get over what he did but Im struggling :/ | Took back my cheating man and now cant deal with my emotions, wanna be with him but I dont know what to do. |
t3_1iko8a | relationships | [23M/F] with my ex lover [21M/F] two months, shall I send her a nice text? | Okay, so i dated a girl a few weeks back and it kinda went a bit sour. (it was her fault - she had feelings for her ex)
Anyway we broke up and I saw her out a few weeks later and got pretty drunk and said some, not nasty, but silly things.
We haven't spoken since then and i'm over her but I was thinking of sending her a text along the lines of:
'Hi, i'm sorry we didn't end on the best terms, but I think you're an awesome person and I'd hate for any tensions to get between us if I see you out again. hope everything is going really well and hope you're enjoying life'
I would only send this text, not to get back with her, but to just alleviate tensions - because we have a lot of mutual friends.
Is this a grown up thing to do? Or shall I not text her? | shall I text my ex with a nice text, not to get back with her but alleviate tension or should I leave it? |
t3_16y65f | relationships | I [19m] am starting to fall in love with my [16f] girlfriend and am afraid. | I've been in relationships before, this one's the strongest thus far. I've known her for a year. She told me she loves me early on and has confessed being "in love" with me as well. She calls me the perfect guy in every way, I call her gorgeous, we just work. I'm usually busy with work/college and so I barely get time to chat/talk with her. When I do get a moment to myself, I check facebook and twitter where she goes on frenzies posting literally dozens upon dozens of tweets, statuses and photos and private messages to me about how she has the perfect guy and how in love with me she is and how she'd like to spend the rest of her life with me. She's obsessed.
We're going to be in close proximity with each other over the course of the next few years, and we've discussed a distant-future marriage and are both *extremely* open to it. We agreed to tie the knot as soon as she finishes college in 6 years time, if we're still together. Here's the deal: up until this point, I've been into her, loved her, and handled this well. As of late however, I've been thinking about her a lot more. I've been wanting to spend more time with her. I've loved her all along, but I think I'm starting to fall in love and fall hard. My fear is that I'll wuss out. My fear is that being in love will castrate me; will turn me into an emotional wuss who flips out when she doesn't end an interaction with "I love you" or who gets sad when I check facebook and twitter and she hasn't posted anything.
My fear is that I'll eventually start acting like an unattractive chump which will result in her dumping me just because I'm "in love". My fear is that if she dumps me, I won't be okay. Up until yesterday, if she chose to dump me, I would've been able to shake it off relatively easily and move on. Now however, things have started to change – and this terrifies me. Help? | I've started to fall in love/get emotionally attached and it's freaking me out because I might start acting like an unattractive chump causing the love of my life to dump me. Help? |
t3_uvh1d | dating_advice | Do I recover from a bad date and how do I prevent it? | I'm a 24m that went out with a 19f. I've been out of the dating game for a long time because of school. She originally messaged me on OKCupid and we had some great conversation and texts that lead to a meetup on Friday. She was way cuter in person than her pictures led me to believe.
Anyway, we explored and walked around for a while in her town for a couple of hours. Got a little lost and even walked in the rain and got soaked together. We had some fun but I felt like I was out of my comfort zone and didn't generate great chemistry maybe due to how stunned I was at how smart and attractive she was than what I was expecting (Is this called becoming a sap?). At the end, she mentioned she was going to a birthday party and watching a movie marathon with her girls. She walked me to my car and did not take me up on the offer to give her a ride back to her place. So, I gave her a hug and said we should do something more fun later.
Shot her a text Saturday asking about the movies and still no reply as of Sunday night. Throughout all of our interactions, she always replied on OKC or texts within a day. I'm thinking of giving her a call Mon/Tues about setting up another date at a museum.
Any way for me to recover or just give up after calling? I tried to ignore her various features and focus on making quality stories and jokes was but couldn't and that led to me to just make horrible conversation. I feel like I had a nuclear meltdown. | Went out on a date with attractive and smart girl and blew it. What to do now and how do I learn from this experience/ prevent this from happening again? |
t3_149w0y | dating_advice | I can't tell if the girl I'm seeing [18F/22M] is dating somebody or not | So I meet this girl at school a couple weeks ago, we hang out, she comes over, we talk for a while, she tells me that she has just recently broken up with her boyfriend (they had been dating a while) because he was collecting pictures on his iphone of girls that he didn't know but lived in the same hall as him. While we're watching a movie, she gets a text and tells me that her ex-bf is standing outside of her door waiting for her. She tells him that she's out and he shouldn't wait up. A few hours later she leaves. A few days later we make out.
Now, a few days after that, my room mate was throwing a party so I invite her. Eventually I call her to tell her it's starting and some dude picks up the phone (she leaves her phone everywhere) and tells me he's her boyfriend and that she's at some other party. Naturally, I'm a little aggravated, so I make damn sure that I didn't misunderstand him and hang up the phone. She calls me a few hours later and tells me she's coming, and I tell her very clearly that I'm not interested in continuing anything if she's committed to somebody. She explains that the guy isn't her boyfriend, just her crazy ex and that we're cool. Ok.
A few days later, some dude stops me on my way to class, and it turns out to be the ex-boyfrind/phone dude. He tells me that it's "Ok if you two stay friends". I give him a confuzed look and then he says "Didn't she text you last night?" I hadn't gotten a text and told him so, and the guy just storms off. I didn't mention this to her.
Last night she came over again and she kissed me when I dropped her off at her place.
Here's my plan right now: This dude seems a tad unstable, so if she tells me she's not in a relationship then I'm just going to take her word. I figure if this dude is her boyfriend, then that's her business and it's on her.
So, what would you do? | girl I'm seeing either has a crazy ex or is playing one/both of us and I can't tell which it is |
t3_i5vtc | AskReddit | Biologists, let's settle this once and for all. Do lobsters feel pain? | Preface, I had a steamed lobster dinner tonight, and I have also killed lobsters myself for my family's traditional lobster and red sauce around Christmastime. I've always been wary with how I kill them, as I want to make sure it's as humane as possible (I used to think a knife to the head would do it, but now I'm having second thoughts).
From some, I've heard that lobsters do not feel pain due to not having a central nervous system. Others claim this is false, and that while they do not have a central nervous system, they have ganglia at various points of their bodies that act as essentially 'brain nodes'. In other words, my previous tactic of the knife to the head might not actually kill the creature after all.
Needless to say, I'm a little disturbed. I am not a vegetarian, but I am thankful for my meat and wish to cause it as little suffering as possible, and honestly I don't know what the most humane way to kill a lobster is anymore. | I've heard many things about lobsters and their ability to feel the loosely defined term, 'pain'. I would also like to know what the most humane way of killing them is. |
t3_4l21s1 | relationship_advice | What should I do? I [33/m] am considering getting a divorce. | I am no longer attracted to my wife. Since the beginning of our relationship there hasn't been much passion in our intimacy. Aside from the first time or two, there has never been much excitement. We mostly just go through the motions. Over time we have had less and less sex.
There are other things too. She gets angry a lot. Sometimes at me, but more often just in general. Like she'll be cooking a meal and suddenly start swearing and throwing stuff because our lemon zester is sub par. I am told she has always been like this, but I get the feeling some of it is pent up frustration about our intimacy issues. Either way, it bothers me how frequently it happens.
I also find myself feeling old, like my life is over. This probably has to do with the fact that we met when I was young and that she is five years older than me.
The thing is I love her very much, she is definitely my best friend. We have been together for almost ten years. But, I'm worried neither of us will ever really be happy. I'm worried that getting married was a mistake.
I am also afraid that asking for a divorce will be a stupid mistake that I will regret. I have never been nearly this close to anyone. How can anyone else ever compare? And, to be honest, I am afraid of never finding someone else who will love me like she does. | My sex life with my wife is bad. I am bothered by how often she gets angry. Is it a mistake to stay, or a mistake to go? |
t3_vjjjp | AskReddit | How do people with records find jobs? I can't. | Long story, I made mistakes in my past life filled with drugs and gang violence and I made amends with my mistakes, Checked into rehab and cut all my connections. I even got my GED and then registered for college! (It actually makes me really happy to say that you don't even know)
Problem is I can't find a job, I have no proof but I believe it is because I have a record in conjunction with no real work experience. It's really putting me down in addition to making me hold off on my chance to turn my life around.
So my question is... What do I do? | 20 year old on probation with no work experience and a questionable past has spent the past 3 months looking for work. Bummed out. |
t3_1ousyd | relationships | Am I (26f) in the wrong with him (25m)? | Me and my SO were together for over a year and decided to breakup back in May. Shortly after we broke up he became involved with someone else in July/August time. They only talked for a few weeks and he broke up with her and he told me that it was because he wasn't anything he was looking for, she was just the complete opposite of me.
Anyway, we started talking again and decided to try and work out our issues in the hopes of making the relationship work again. We started going to counseling sessions and taking things slowly. Now the girl he was talking to found out because I guess she was FB stalking me and she confronted him with pictures of us on FB. He told me about it and I told him I wouldn't post anything again. He didn't say anything.
Last weekend we went to NYC and I was upset about have to crop our photos to leave him out because he didn't want to upset the girl again. I told him that I didn't understand why she was such a priority to keep happy especially since it was upsetting me so much and we have way more history. He told me that I was right and that I can post the picture of us together.
Fast forward to this weekend and I am at his house. We are in his kitchen and his sister takes a photo of us. She is friends with the girl he dated and asked him if it was OK to post the picture on facebook. He said is there anyway you can block X from seeing it. His sister said no and he was like, ok well just don't post it then.
Am I wrong to be upset about this? I don't understand why she is such a deciding factor in posting up pictures. He constantly tells me how much he doesn't like what she stands for as a person etc. And even knowing how much it upsets me to have to feel like i'm a secret still doesn't matter. He needs to make sure she doesn't get upset. I feel like I am being hidden. Why is it such a big deal for her to know we are trying to work things out? | Me and SO broke up. He dated a girl during break up. We decided to work it out. Doesn't want her to see us. Refuses to put pictures of us online incase she gets upset. |
t3_1wtdm8 | relationships | I [23 M] slept with a close friend [23 F] of four years, and she won't talk to me anymore. She is also my ex-girlfriend's [23 F] best friend. | The main problem is that she is my ex-girlfriend's best friend.
A few months ago my girlfriend [23 F] of two years broke up with me. During the relationship, her best friend and I became very close friends. We were always flirting with each other in jest, even in front of my girlfriend. It was never a problem, and there was never even a hint of cheating. After the breakup we continued being close friends.
One month after my breakup, my close friend and I were drunk and alone together, and we started messing around in bed. We decided it was a drunken mistake, and wouldn't happen again. After this, and a couple more weeks of heavy flirting, we slept together, fully sober. We both said we didn't regret it, but we didn't discuss it further.
Over the next few weeks she stopped texting me all the time. She cancelled plans one weekend at the last minute, and has been unresponsive ever since. Now we've gone a couple of weeks without talking at all (it used to be rare to go more than a day without talking).
I don't want to lose her friendship, and I regret letting things escalate between us. I also don't want to ruin her friendship with my ex-girlfriend.
From an outside perspective, does it seem like there's a way for me to repair this without anyone getting hurt? Or is it over for good? I would love to start dating her, but it seems out of the question, and I would be more than willing to forgo that just to have her back as a friend.
Thanks for any and all suggestions. | Slept with a close friend, who happens to be my ex-girlfriend's best friend. How do I go about saving the friendship? Or is it over for good? |
t3_rdl2s | AskReddit | Knitters and sweater wearers of reddit: I have an expensive sweater that I love but is too big for me. Is there a way I can shrink it a size without ruining it? | Basically I have a lambs-wool sweater that I used to wear all the time. I lost about 30lbs and it looks like I'm 9 and trying on my dad's clothes when I wear it.
In the past I've hand washed this sweater in cold water and laid it flat to dry and it didn't really shrink at all. I've only washed it 2 times and only wear it for certain occasions (it's a really nice $250 sweater). I don't have many items of clothing in my wardrobe that I treat like this (I'm very much a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy but do have some nice clothes to wear for special occasions). Honestly, I'm embarrassed to admit I have an unwearable expensive sweater, that's not typical for me *AT ALL*, but I do believe that the clothes make the man (sometimes) and have a few nice pieces in my wardrobe...
Anyway, it's been hanging in a bag in my closet for about a year now and I look at it all the time and wish it still fit me.
Every couple of months I google this question hoping for an answer, but so far I haven't found any trustworthy advice (wash it in a machine with hot water, lay to dry - hand wash in cold and put in the dryer - etc). Even with my basic knowledge I know that stuff like that is BS. But dammit, there must be a way!
I don't care if it isn't as amazing and soft as it is now after I finish as long as it still looks decent. I just don't want to "felt" it (that's something I learned about through my extensive google-ing, but if you are prepared to answer this question you will probably know what I mean). Thanks for any advice you can give! | How can I **safely** shrink a lambs-wool sweater from an XL to a L without ruining it. |
t3_3kkv1a | tifu | TIFU by eating a healthy, dank ass breakfast | This happened to me in middle school, actually the exact same thing happened to me in the exact same class on TWO seperate occasions. A whole decade later I still cringe in embarrassment.
So when I was younger my mom would always make me a dank breakfast before school. Sausage, eggs, bacon, the whole works. Like clockwork, every single day during science class right before lunch, my bowels would be churning wrecklessly. Awaiting to unleash the beast traped inside of my colon. Yes, this is exactly were you think it's going, however I always had control of my sphincter... unless someone else intervened.
I sat next to the girl that I dreamed of being with, typical 13 year old crush. I mean fuck, I hadn't even made out with a girl yet. I always talked to her in hopes of tonsil hockey someday.
Now this is where shit goes south. So there was this kid who would annoy the absolute hell out of everyone, and this little bastard happened to sit in the desk behind me. The first time this happened he got lucky. I'm talking to said girl, and out of no where I feel two hands slap my sides and tickle me. My muscles lock up, and away I go. Straight out my ass in a concoction of deadly gases so powerful, it could've knocked out a grown horse. This sucker was loud too. Everyone looked and nobody laughed... "fuck", I said out loud and I look at the girl sitting next to me. She turns her head and moves away from me. I repeat myself, "Fuck". Nobody says a word. Then that little asshole behind me screams in laughter.
Skip ahead a week or so later, and the same exact thing happens. The only difference in the two stories is that the kid behind me tried to get the same reaction as last time. And he did. Little prick. | Always ate breakfast like a king, kid behind me tickled me on two separate occasions which made me rip ass in class next to my crush in 8th grade. Never worked out. |
t3_z340t | BreakUps | I [20M] CANNOT get over my ex [19F] | Together since we were 17 (she was 16) she out of nowhere left me last October, she gave me no reason all she said was that she no longer loved me one day. I believe her slutty college fiend instigated her into doing it. We never fought once before this happened. Anyway is had been about 10 months with literally 0 contact and everyday I wake up she's still the first thing I think about in the morning. I'm tired of waking up in the middle of the night after having a nightmare about her with someone else. The thought makes me sick to my stomach. I love get and I hate myself because I cont stop, no matter how hard I try to forget or move on, I just can't stop thinking about what I could have done and all that. She's going away to school again soon and I only have a few more days to make first contact again. I don't know if I should though, she's the one that left me, if I go back to her after all this time could it change anything? Or should I just keep on going with 0 contact? | haven't heard a peep from my ex in 10 months after she left me to fuck other guys at college, I can't stop thinking about her and need to know if it's a good idea to go break the silence. |
t3_26h9zg | relationships | Me [25 M] with my "friend"[25 F] dated for a month, now in a strange friendship area. | I had a crush on a good friend for like 5 years and tried asking her out once, which went well but I never followed through because she was moving away soon. Finally last November my friend mentioned to her that I liked her and we started talking frequently. We "dated" throughout most of December while she was in town and I finally lost my virginity towards the end of December. As a precursor to all of this she made sure that I was looking for something serious and not just sex.
Well she went back to her college town in January and anything of a romantic nature stopped and we slowed down considerably on how much we talk. She started seeing a new guy and has been since then. They aren't in a relationship, but are exclusive, which is confusing as fuck. She has tried ending it several times, but always ends up giving it another try. We've been talking pretty frequently, much more so lately. About a month ago I ended up telling her I loved her, which went over really well considering how crazy it was. A couple days ago she told me that her friends are advising her that we shouldn't be hanging out or even talking due to her feelings towards me, but she wouldn't ever consider that. She told me there's something she needs to tell me, but it wouldn't be fair to her current guy to do it now and that I'm dense for not realizing what it is. This is all incredibly frustrating.
Oh and she's my +1 to a wedding in a few weeks, which would be awesome if she was single or with me. | What the hell is going on with this girl? Is she trying to tell me she loves me? I have trouble believing that's what this is about. |
t3_2sz4bd | relationships | [24/M] with [21/F] "Sorry. I didn't notice that I was doing that." | This is a common excuse for things that she does. The most recent one being that she always wants to walk ahead of me no matter where we go. Its annoying because I feel like she deliberately wants me to follow her instead of walking side by side.
When I confront her about it(which I've told her she does this multiple times), she will always respond with "Sorry babe, I don't realize I'm doing that"
Wouldn't it make sense that the first time she did this she would then realize it? Not do the same thing multiple times and just blame it on "I didn't realize I was doing that?"
To be fair, she doesn't do it from one day to the next. It'll be as frequent as once every two weeks.
What does the "Im sorry. I didn't realize I was doing that." really mean? Have you had that said to you? Can this be treated as something natural that happens to everyone? Or is this just an excuse to take the fault away from you and keep doing what you're doing? | Girlfriend tries to take blame from herself by saying "Im sorry. I didn't realize I was doing that." too often. Fair or not fair? |
t3_3kkcmv | relationships | Me [21f] with my bf [21m] of 1.5 years, don't know if I really love him. | My problem is basically that I'm dating my best friend, and I love him, but I don't know if I'm *in* love with him.
Some background: I and my best friend started dating about a year and a half ago. At first everything was great, fantastic. But about 6 months into the relationship his severe clinical depression reared it's head, and the next 10ish months were... bad. To put it lightly. I didn't seriously consider breaking up with him, but the depression put a huge strain on our relationship. It's not his fault, but he was constantly standing me up or arriving hours late (example: one time we were supposed to meet at his apartment at 10pm, when I got off work. I arrive, no one is there. Luckily his roommates left the back door open. He didn't contact me, or arrive until almost 2 am, whereupon he left to go for a short bike ride to work out. I understand that exercise helps depression, and that depression really can make it impossible to do some things, but things like that happened a lot and I felt really unimportant).
He then went away on an archaeological dig for 2 months (no cell service), which I kind of saw as a test drive break up. But since he's been back things have been really good! So what's the problem, right?
I knew before we started dating that he had depression, though I didn't understand the extent of it.
I don't know if I'm still in love with him. I'm afraid that the winter and spring of depression killed it. He's still my best friend, but the fire/need to be together has been almost completely extinguished.
I'm worried that either a) I'm overthinking it, that this loss of passion is simply the next stage in a relationship. We still work together really well, we communicate well (besides this issue), we have fun together, and we have really similar goals in life. or b) I'm hanging onto a dead relationship because I don't want to lose someone who's been my best friend for years. | My bf's severe depression may have killed my love for him. He's my best friend, though, so do I wait it out and hope it gets better? |
t3_fwfk9 | dating_advice | how to overcome the distance problem? | im 17yo male, shes 18 - meaning to ask her out but its hard seeing as she lives really really far from anything. basically she lives about an hour and a bit away from college (which is basically in the city centre) and can only get home via public transport. i see her basically all day at college, though our timetables are packed so there isn't much time to do stuff apart from grab lunch, which is always with a small group of friends. She always seems to be in a rush to leave college to get home in the afternoons (as she does live ages away, gets home at like 7) so I can't ask to grab a drink or something.
Tomorrow is one of the rare free afternoons we have, though I asked her and a few friends if they wanted to go to a bar close to college at night and they all said yes apart from her. She said she'd like to do things, though simply lives too far away (she also has to work on Saturday and said the last bus runs at 9pm, but I did say 7pm drinks so theres plenty of time). Advice? | Girl I'm meaning to ask out lives ages away and theres not much time shes free to do things/always wants to get home asap after classes. |
t3_1rha7o | relationships | Long-distance relationship breakup | 23 year-old guy from Southwest CA
My girlfriend of 2 years graduated from college and got an amazing job in Mexico City. It all happened really fast, she was gone in less than two weeks almost out of the blue after they called her to tell her she was hired. I'm still going through school and I'm planning my life in the US.
We tried long-distance for five months but eventually didn't work out, I ended up calling her to break up because of communication problems. We still talk (text) from time to time but I think about her everyday many times a day; whenever we talk, it's me who starts the conversation. she rarely looks for me or asks how I'm doing if I don't do it first.
I've managed to get used to the feeling of missing her, but I still love her the same way. We broke up two months ago and I got really depressed for the first month, it's getting better now but I just wanted to get this off my chest. She was my first serious girlfriend and one of the best persons I've ever met in my life. Thanks for reading. | GF of 2 years moved away b/c of job; tried long distance for 5 months; broke up amicably 2 months ago; I still love her, we barely talk; getting this off my chest. |
t3_ijkg1 | AskReddit | A Question About "People You May Know" on Facebook | About three weeks ago or so I created a new account on Facebook (I had deleted the old one).
There's a section on the right-hand side of the screen suggesting "People You May Know". Used to be called Suggested Friends, I think.
Anyway, these "suggestions" are typical contingent upon a high degree of mutual friends, but lately I've noticed a few things that are strange.
I met this girl on OkCupid about 2-3 months ago and ditched her when I saw how fat she was in person. Despite us never exchanging last names, much less Facebooking each other, she keeps showing up in my suggested friends section.
So does my old Muay Thai instructor from two years ago. He used to always offer to pay me to help him do yardwork (which I always declined). Guess he wanted to fuck me in the ass...
I guess what I'm getting at is... does Facebook now (or has it always?) suggest friends based upon *who looks you up*? Because that's fucked up if that's the case.
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't done my fair share of Facebook stalking myself. | People from my past with no mutual friends keep showing up in my suggested friends section. Is this because these people are looking me up? |
t3_32w8pk | relationships | Me [25F] with my boyfriend [35M] of 6 months, when and how should I start the 'potential moving in together conversation'? | Hey, so a little backstory here -
We've been dating for about 6 months, known each other for over a year. We've done some big trips together already and have some more planned this summer. We're steady, communicate well and support each other. We're not perfect, but we do our best.
I spend the night at his place (his place is bigger, nicer) about 5 or 6 nights a week. (And it's been that way for at least 4 months). We are pretty comfortable just hanging out low-key (example: he does computer things at his desk, while I watch TV on the couch) as well as doing things together.
I have no roommates, and rent isn't cheap. I don't believe in moving in with someone to save money, but it definitely seems silly if we're heading this direction not to at least have the conversation!
Some more history:
My last relationship was a 3 year relationship, 2 year marriage. So while I love his companionship I know that a commitment to live together definitely means there's no step back. You can't go back to 3-4 nights a week together. (Not that I want that, just know it's a truth)
His last relationship: an on-and-off relationship for about 9 years where he lived with her. He ended it about 9 months ago.
Okay, so -- I've been thinking a lot about how when my lease is getting close to running out I would kick myself if I didn't at least have the conversation. Is that insane? We would be dating for 9 months at the time of this future conversation. My idea would be that either we're both like "yeah sure, let's!" or "hm, in another 6 months sounds better!" or "oh, wow, uhh that doesn't sound like anything that should happen soon..."
(I think the first two sound better) :)
I don't want him to feel pressured, since I really do want it to be a conversation of our wants/needs/feelings.
Any help or advice on when/how to have the conversation? | Sleeps over with BF five nights a week for 6 months. Want advice on how/when to talk to BF about possibly moving in together. |
t3_2d96fo | relationships | Me [23M] recently received contact from my ex [22F] 2 years after we last spoke, she apologized to me and wants to meet | This past weekend I recently was contacted by my ex gf of over 3 years after we broke up and went 2 years without speaking. She apologized to me mentioning how she never gave me the credit I deserved because I was such a good guy to her and she never fully appreciated it then. She also asked to meet the next time we will be in the same city. In which I agreed.
The texts I was receiving initially caught me off guard, I was out sober cabbing my friends at the bar and phone starts buzzing. With a number I vaguely remember but was not saved in my contacts. I asked who was texting me and she responded with her name. I kept the whole conversation generally light hearted. She apologized with a pretty long winded text, outlining some things and mentioning that she thinks about me a lot.
The conversation stayed pretty light. We talked about our dog we have together and I sent her some pictures of our dog. I know that she has been in a relationship but I never asked if she was still with him. Her friends had came up to me last year and mentioned that they hated her new bf and wished I would try to call her again. I didn't.
That was Saturday night and I haven't gone out of my way to start a conversation with her. Although, I feel like I should have my guard up since our break-up left me pretty devastated as we were starting to make plans for our future when it happened. I guess what I'm asking for is advice on this current situation. Whether or not it's something I should try to pursue or try to rekindle a friendship with her. | ex contacted me after 2 years without speaking and wants to meet. How would be a proper way to react? What should I be expecting? |
t3_518zjx | personalfinance | [UK] 22 year old homeowner looking for advice on long term financial plan. | Hey r/PersonalFinance,
I'm writing here to get some feedback on my financial plan for the next 10 years and my long-term financial goals. On top of that I'd like to ask whether there is anything more I could be doing, or anything I should be doing differently.
So I'm 22, and a fully payed off homeowner in the UK. Currently this home is being rented to 4 students and pulls in about £1500 a month in rental income. On top of this, I work a decent steady job, making £22500 a year before tax. I keep these 2 incomes separate, as my parents frequently need to use some or all of the rental income for the near future. My job income is how I live and all of my current savings are spent on flights to the US to see my girlfriend as often as possible.
So here is the plan; In the next 12 months I plan to move to the USA, this will be by marrying my girlfriend. Once there, I am fairly confident I can get a decent job that can provide for both of us (at that point I'd be a 1 year graduated software engineer). In the next 6 months I plan on buying a house where I work in the UK on a mortgage, living there until I move to the states then renting it out from there, using the rental income to pay off the mortgage, and whatever is left from the student rented property.
Essentially, I'd like to earn my living through property eventually, and for the lifestyle I would like to live, this would mean probably making £150-£200k a year from it. In the meantime I'll work a job to live and keep rolling property into more property until I have roughly 10 fully payed off. I'll diversify location and size, but I plan on keeping them mostly in the UK.
So is there anything more or differently I could be doing? Does this sound responsible, or even feasible? Thanks for any replies! | 22 year old homeowner wants to use that home to buy more property and eventually use the rental income from it to eventually live and fund retirement. Is this responsible and/or feasible? |
t3_4tu4u6 | tifu | TIFU by keeping hydrated during a heatwave | For the last couple weeks I've been needing a haircut however I've always been pretty lazy when it comes to actually getting one, that is until a particularly hot day at work. It feels like 41 degrees outside (105 in freedom units) probably at least 5-10 degrees hotter inside the building. Realizing that that temps would stay like this for a week I was sufficiently motivated to get a haircut.
So I head to the closest barber shop; about a mile away and am told it would be about 20 minutes before I get my haircut so I go over to the nearby food shop and loiter around cooling myself off. I buy a carbonated apple drink to help keep hydrated and 20 minutes later get my haircut.
Afterwards I walk to another shop and once my hair drys up I head to the bathroom to take some pictures for my friends. This is where my fuck up begins. After taking some pictures of myself I leave the bathroom with my drink, I notice people staring at me while I drink but me being the arrogant narcissist I am I assume I look so good everyone is in awe. It isn't until I get a text from one of my best friends that I realize that the carbonated apple drink I was drinking totally fizzed up while I was walking and looked very similar to piss which I just came out of the bathroom drinking. | Pulling a Bear Grylls is definitely going to get you some looks, and no, it's not because you look super hot with your new haircut. |
t3_zbcn4 | relationships | I [M18] have different opinions than my girlfriend [F17] | throw away account...
I am 18, she is 17
Me and my SO have been going out for just about a year now and things are pretty good. We were friends for about 6 months before we started dating. We dont fight often and we are very much in love. And yes i know we are young and all, but we really share a lot of the same interests EXCEPT for two things. I always thought we were compatible on a high level, but im starting not to think so anymore for these certain reasons:
The first is how we have different views on drinking alcohol. I see it as very immature and i dont drink. I think that people shouldnt need to get drunk in order to have fun, and i am very against it. She knows all this, but she believes that its okay to drink. She says people do it because it actually is fun. She doesnt drink in high school, but she says when shes in college she probably will. It makes me sick to think of her doing such a thing and getting wasted.
The second reason is that she doesnt like doing sexual things. She told me its just who she is and its NOT that shes just a teenage girl and that im a horny teenage boy. She just doesnt like to do them often. I on the other hand really like doing sexual things. She just isnt in to them.
We have two conflicting views on drinking and having sexual relations with each other. We talk about the drinking sometimes but we let it go because she isnt going to college for another year. Sexual relations happen, but not often. Ill always think of these two things. They make me wonder, can we still be together with these conflicting views? Are we doomed to resent each other when we get older? Can we ever make it work? I just need advice on what i should do or how to handle things. What can/should i do? | My girlfriend and I have different views on having sexual relations with each other and with drinking alcohol. Will these different views doom us in the long run, or can it ever work? |
t3_184th1 | AskReddit | What is the best way to tackle the dispute with a credit card company. | My girlfriend has an amazon (GE) store card with ridiculous interest rate (24.99%). By the end of january she had about $1300 charged on it. Now, she has been paying minimum amount for the few months. After looking at the interest rate, I recommended her to pay it down as fast as possible. So she paid about $100 more than the minimum payment last month, and even then her balance, rose to about $1480. I did all the compound interest calculations and for the love of god, couldn't figure out where are the extra charges coming from. They also have some weird charges put on her account that are not explained.
So she tried calling them, and it always goes to automated system. she tried emailing them and every time they reply with very generic response.
What we would like to know is, is there a way to get any direct response from them and if not, how can we dispute it, so that we can at least get a clear response. | Suspect that GE amazon store card is screwing us over and would like to know if and how we can either get a clear response or dispute it |
t3_2s14rd | Advice | Girl I'm into calls me handsome and hot, but claims to not like me because I'm "childish", is it worth it to try and "change" | First off thank you reddit for reading.
I finally decided to ask the girl I've been into out on a date and she goes on to say something along the lines of "you're handsome and smart but you're childish.".
I'm not sure what she means by this. We're both into anime and whenever she came over I thought I could 100% be myself and I admit I was more childish than usual but I didn't think enough to deter here since we both liked it. I do play yugioh still and she knows, but I rarely if ever talk to her about it. I don't see myself as childish, I'm a senior in high school with a job at Kumon and am currently doing a research project at my local university.
What keeps me from not giving up is the fact she's admitted she thinks I'm attractive, she commented later on how I looked good in a tank top and she liked my muscles,and we're genuinely great friends, she says she doesn't want to lose my friendship over this. | what can I do to be less childish( don't see how I am) or should I just move on? |
t3_2u6mfc | relationships | Me [22F] with my boyfriend [23M] of 5 months. We rarely ever go out and do anything. | My boyfriend and I got together 5 months ago. Our relationship has always been on this fast pace. The first months of our relationship, we hung out almost every single day and it was always something new and exciting. I couldn't go a day without feeling like something was missing because I hadn't seen him that day. His friends thought it was unhealthy that we would see each other so often.
Now 5 months into our relationship, I feel like things have really changed. I feel like all those times that we spent every day together have backfired. Now I find myself still wanting to spend time with him but it's just not the same. It's not as exciting anymore. And considering how much time we spend together, we never really go on any proper dates. I can't really remember the last time we went on one since the second month into our relationship.
Maybe part of the problem is that I don't really plan out elaborate dates for us either. Part of the reason I don't is because I don't drive so I don't feel right burdening him with that obligation. How to compromise this?
Also, I feel like because of the first few months of the relationship (when we hung out almost everyday), his friends felt like they were being put on the back burner. So now, I feel like it's a challenge for him to try and balance things out. But because of this I feel like I get his half assed attention these days. We could go out and he'll be texting them. I can hear him replying to them when we're on the phone. I don't want him to deliberately ignore them but it'd be nice if he responded to them later. It doesn't seem like anything urgent.
Not really sure what I wanted out of this. I guess I just needed to vent. Thanks Reddit. | Boyfriend and I hung out almost everyday in first few months of relationship. Not sure what to do about changed in relationship. |
t3_gy75e | AskReddit | Why am I periodically a dick towards a girl that I like who "chose" her ex over me. | A girl I liked broke up with her boyfriend and got with me about a day or two later. we dated for a week before her ex went to her hoping for a second chance. she says she didn't "choose" cause she couldn't say no at the time and that it was "complicated. before all this and now we were and are VERY good friends,we talk all the time and about everything. sometimes when im talking to her ill pull a dick move and do something like "why does this concern me Im not your boyfriend" or "oh yeah that sucks....remember that time you chose X over me? that REALLY sucks" I cant help but do this cause it makes me feel better. Do I have the right to keep doing this and why do I feel good when i do dick moves like that. | Girl went out with me, broke up with me to get with ex. Im a dick towards her sometims, why? and im allowed to be . |
t3_2odpnt | relationships | My [25m] girlfriend [26f] of one year has been throwing away money. | We both have jobs we work hard at, but we live paycheck to paycheck. We have been having some trouble with "fun" money and things like that lately, including Christmas presents. We agreed we didn't have money for Christmas presents and that superfluous spending would have to come to a halt for a while.
The other night, I came home to find a bag from Target FULL of makeup. There was mascara, eyeshadows in different colors, BRUSHES, eyeliner, some powder shell things, all sorts of makeup. This was all obviously brand new. Now, I know girls like to wear makeup. But it is NOT a necessity at all. And it was all the same brand, and I don't know much about makeup, but I do know brand name makeup costs more than store brand. This brand all said "ELF" on it.
I'm furious. I asked her what the deal was, why she got makeup but couldn't get me a Christmas present. She told me her mascara and eyeliner had run out, and that the shadows were "cheap" and would help her get a more neutral look for work. But to me, she is telling me that dropping a load of money on makeup is important. Which I don't know, makeup is NOT a necessity for ANY woman, it is a LUXURY and I don't know if this is okay with me.
Am I overreacting? Is makeup somehow a necessity for women? | Girlfriends we're tight on cash and can't buy presents, spends a ton of money on "ELF" brand makeup. |
t3_34emp4 | relationships | My(M24) Friend(M23) Not Sure How To Get Thru To Him | So basically this is what's going on... Lets call him Carlos for the sake of the story. ( Excuse my grammar, and english please)
Carlos is about to have a baby with his girlfriend of 8 months, and he came to me to tell me, not knowing what to do or how to go about the whole process.. he then tells me he wants to join the army to provide a better oppurtunity, and be better off financially for his child he doesnt have any debt or anything..
This girl and her parents are pushing him to stay here, and not do it guilting him bout the baby, and was at first forcing him to marry the chick. i have no idea how to get thru to him that he's going to struggle the guy has only a part time job and makes on 700 a month the chick is materialistic, and you can tell she want to be a housewife.. he hasn't done anything to decide if he will go one way or the other way im trying to tell him your going to struggle because your not financially set or anything.. now he wants to go to college and thinks he'll be able to get his bachelor only using pell grant and no student loans.... what can i do to get thru to this fucker.. his girlfriend keeps pushing him to not go to the service but insist on governing anything having to do with the future...
am i wrong in talking to him and trying to tell him what's best for him? I'm a military veteran, and have experience in what will happen if he were to join, not to mention with the whole situation on having a baby... all i see is a insurmountable debt, and stress on him. everyone and there mother keeps telling him the same thing i'm telling him except for the girl and her mom.. | Friend was listening to advice that everyone was trying to give him about joining the military, girlfriend guilts him into not listening, and staying here... |
t3_2omwxk | relationships | Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [21 M] 2 years, worried he is going to be a lazy and low-achieving husand | I have a fantastic relationship with my future husband. We communicate well, are incredibly compatible, humble and both always ready to apologise, the best of friends - the works. He and I are planning on getting engaged in the near future, and I am a little worried about something.
I have graduated university and am currently in an incredibly company, starting my career. He is still at university (as he struggled to find his passion, but has now). He is very smart, and doesn't need to work hard to achieve good marks, I on the other hand do. He has never been encouraged to achieve much (he comes from a low socio-economic background, and I from a high). He has great goals BUT, he is very lazy. I want to start saving for a house, investments, working to build a life for us and our family. He is happy playing computer games all day, and being...well a boy. WHICH is fine, but as a chronic planner, I need structure and fear he is going to waste his pivotal years.
I want to retire early, want our kids to go to private schools, travel in our 50s. I know this seems like a lot to take on at my age, but I am afraid we are wasting our lives being bums, when we could be working hard.
My question is, how do I encourage him to work out a plan for his career and our future?
Note; I have BPD, OCD and anxiety - hence why I am so easily stressed. | Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [21 M] 2 years, worried he is going to be a lazy husand |
t3_44qlev | relationships | Me [28 F] with my husband [28 M], together 11 years, how to reignite the passion | So my husband and I have been together since we were both 17, and for the first two years of our relationship we were having sex all the time, and I was intensely attracted to him at the time.
We went to college together and moved in with each other, got married 4 years ago and have a 2 year old son.
I love my husband with all my heart. He is the most amazing human being I have ever met, an awesome father to our son, he supports me and my career in every way and generally goes above and beyond to make me happy. But... I just do not feel attracted to him anymore, and haven't for a while. It is not that I am not interested in sex at all - I do fantasize about sex with other men quite a lot, particularly about one of my coworkers (who I think is also into me).
I make myself have sex with my husband about once a week, because I know he wants me (he would probably want to have sex every day). I mostly do this by fantasizing about sleeping with somebody else, mostly that one coworker. My husband of course does not know this.
I do not want our relationship to end, because I love him and he is perfect in every other way. I've thought fleetingly about having an affair, but I do not want to hurt him, or lie to him.
So where do I go from here? Is there any way I can get some of the initial passion back? I feel kind of desperate that I only had 2 years of passionate sex as a teenager, and am now doomed to a lifetime of routine, make-myself-do-it, pretend-to-enjoy-it sex. | I love my husband, but have not felt attracted to him physically for a long time. How can I reignite the passion? Am I doomed to a boring sex life for the rest of my life? |
t3_25z5fc | relationship_advice | I [21/m] and gf [21/f] have an awesome relationship after four years and I might have just ruined it via drugs. | Long story short: We have been through a tonne together, basically every relationship problem you can think of. We have broken up four times over the past four years since we started dating in grade 12. The last time we got back together was August 2013, and our relationship has been so awesome since then.
NOW:
My girlfriend suffers from serious depression, and I am there for her even when she doesn't want it. She dropped all of her class this semester because of this issue she has been having. I am studying engineering, doing well, huge drive and motivation... basically a huge turn around from a few years back.
I also liketo do drugs, not often, but a couple times a month for sure (MDMA and cocaine). She is fine with MDMA, but cocaine is a huge no-no, the last time she found out I was doing blow, she gave me an ultimatum, which I questioned and found very unfair. I did however agree to it, because I did not want to see her go that day. Two days ago she saw me with a key shoved up my nose and shit hit the fan. She still loves me, but is now not talking to me until she consults her therapist.
I guess what I am asking here is if I should take some action... do I wait until her therapist "guides" her through it? If she comes back to me, I will have to tell her that I am not a junkie, problematic or unmotivated( ALL TRUE ) I just do drugs once in a while with the boys and I'll be done when I am done I suppose. | Girlfriend found out I was doing blow behind her back while she has depression and is consulting her therapist before she makes a decision to end it or not, what should I do? |
t3_3cirjq | dating_advice | Why do women always have a neediness for a first love?? | I was curious if there was any content/articles and wanted opinions on what seems to me like a female need to be with the first guy they're intimate with..Ive personally seen and been on both sides of this before and it seems apparent that this is commonplace in almost every situation, so basically I want to know what's up with that
I admit I've always wondered this but especially lately based on my own situation..My ex of many many years ago seems to continuously bash me on social media and alludes to the "misery" that was our relationship, so much so she needs to let everyone know this all the time..Funny enough, she has a boyfriend and has been with him for a few years as well
With that it brings me to my confusion on this subject in a few ways, like why is it after so long does she seem to spend her entire day quite frequently hating me, it seems a bit excessive..Most young relationships are very high tension and i moved on long ago, but I have to say it's really weird when she still has to have this odd resentment (or secret wanting) of me after so long, I don't mention her or discuss her in any way, but lately the content has ramped up so much that it's actually starting to become agitating..Essentially I want to know if s this a common thing that women do
Even worse it confuses the shit out of me why her boyfriend doesn't seem to care..I was laughing about this the other day but in a way it's almost awkward when I think about it, they've been together for so long and her primary focus is on hating me instead of him, so on the same point why would a guy not find that weird at all..If the girl I'm dating is doing that after a few months I'd be concerned, but after a few years I wouldn't be involved anymore because it's pretty fucking weird to me..I mean if I want to tell her to get over the shit how does he not feel that way when it's his girlfriend | Why do women always have a thing for the first love they have..My ex has spent years hating on me on social media, despite having a boyfriend, what I did years ago seems to be her biggest issue |
t3_jp6bg | AskReddit | Why doesn't the US practice harm reduction, as opposed to the currently practiced harm prevention? | People are going to smoke. They're going to chew, they're going to dip. It's going to happen. Kids are going to do it. Why do all of these different non-profit groups think they can prevent that from happening? On the same token, sex is going to happen as soon as kids get to the age that they start to figure out what their respective organs are for. Why does the States consistently try to force unrealistic crap on it's people (like abstinence) as opposed to teaching them about their bodies, how to use condoms, how to be healthy, etc?
I don't know about other American folks but when my kids get to the sexing age, I'd rather they be locked up in their rooms banging as opposed to being at some random person's house party or on some road late at night.
for the record, I'm American. | Why doesn't the US just admit that shit happens, it's gonna happen, and deal with it accordingly, as opposed to plugging their ears and pretending shit never happens? |
t3_unlsw | relationships | Unsure how to bring up anything sexual with my girlfriend of over a year. | Background:
20M in a relationship with a 19F for over a year now, and it's great, except theres been practically no progression sexually. To clarify; there is virtually nothing sexual going on to begin with, as in the farthest we've gone is light groping above the waste.
[To continue to add clarity, yes we're both virgins.]
We're both incredibly shy, awkward people and as such I'm not really sure on how to bring this up to her in the least awkward way.
I'm just worried that if at the very least this isnt talked about that it'll cause major problems down the road. | Trying to find the least awkward/weird way of bringing up anything of a sexual nature with girlfriend of over a year in a "dry" relationship. |
t3_2og4va | relationships | Me [18 M] with my friend [18 M] who's bein | Okay so to start off I came back home for college for thanksgiving weekend and hung out with my friends. We'll call one of them Sam. So I talked to him throughout the whole week(Wed-Sat) and then suddenly on facebook messenger his replies were all just one or two words. So monday the next week, I'm on skype with him along with a few other friends. And he just straight up ignores me. No responses at all.
Let me say that this my friends and others from my high school kinda joke around in weird aspects. One way Sam "jokes" or whatever is by pretending to be mad at his friends. Another friend, we'll call him Jay, is someone whom Sam does this too a lot. So what Sam is doing to me is something not too out of the ordinary for him.
A couple days after i realized he was mad I asked him why and this is how it went:
Me: Are you gonna tell me?
Sam: tell you what?
Me: Tell me why you're mad at me.
Sam: What's there to tell. I'm pretty sure you know why.
Me: I seriously don't.
Sam: Nevermind, doesn't even matter anymore.
As of today, about 6 days after the start, he began to reply more normally with full sentences and such. However he's still kinda mad or whatever. Should I confront him again? Or should I just let it blow over?
note: something similar happened between us before but he got mad for a really stupid reason. He wasn't legit mad he was just kinda of pretending? I guess is the way i would put it. | Friend is mad at me and won't tell me why. It's his personality to act mad at friends. Confront him a second time to tell me why or let it blow over? |
t3_2885q0 | relationships | Non-romantic: Why don't I (20/F) have friends? I do everything "right", I put forth the effort... Help me find my hang ups? | I am in art school right now and I consider myself a very outgoing person. I give lots of compliments, invite people to do things, and I'm very friendly with everyone I meet. I am never involved in any drama. I accept all people as they are and are kind to them even if they annoy me. Over-all, though it sounds conceited, I consider myself a really cool person that's easy to get along with. I have all of the acquaintances that a person could ever dream of wanting... But at the end of the day, I'm lonely. When I want someone to watch a movie with or hang out with, I've got no one. I don't consider myself to have a single true friend.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I invite people to hang out with me all the time. I listen to peoples problems, I make people laugh, I definitely put forth the effort. | I consider myself an ideal friend for a person to have, but for some reason, I don't have any. How can I change this? |
t3_2iidzs | self | If possible... | Uhh, I don't know how to start this cause I don't ever ask for anything but anyways.. I'm an 18 year old that flew from Toronto to Fort McMurray looking for a job, just got hired on Friday for United Pipeline in Edmonton, i'm boarding in Edmonton now, been gone almost a month from home, left the love of my life back there, her birthday is Saturday, I do pre-employment testing Tuesday, Training Thursday & Friday. I wanted to fly back Friday night and come back Monday cause I get shipped to site on Tuesday. I've spent about $900 on work wear, got about $600 left, $400 still needs to go to coveralls and a work coat, (I'm going to be working in Northern BC/Northern Alberta/Northern Saskatchewan where it gets to be -50 degrees Celsius. My family doesn't have money so I can't ask them but if anyone lends (NOT DONATES) the money, i'll pay them back with 10% interest within 3 weeks, I get paid every friday about $1600-$2000 working anywhere from 60-80 hours a week at $22 an hour. WestJet has the cheapest air fare right now too, but if it was any other day the price would be half of what it is now as there is no economy left. It's about $1100-$1200 for a round trip. I'd offer collateral but unless you are in Southern Ontario you could have the keys to my 1995 Audi Quattro 90 that's worth about $1800 that's just sitting in my parents driveway. | The only thing my Girlfriend in Ontario wants for her birthday is to see me one more time because I'm in Edmonton about to start work on the pipeline and won't be back till Christmas. |
t3_2qt3ti | relationship_advice | Found out guy (23/m) I've been seeing for a year is in love with another girl. Do I call him out for cheating on her with me? | Hi reddit,
I've been seeing Dan for just over a year now. We have never been in a relationship per se, however we have been relatively couple-y (going out for dinner, sleeping together, talking constantly etc). The reason why I never asked what was going on was because he hated my friends and they hated him; so I knew it could never lead to anything serious however I still loved spending time with him, just himself and I. Over this time we both opened up to each other about our poor family lives, our self harming and other shit we've both been through which drew me even closer. Shoot forward to today... where I was looking for new people to follow on twitter as I'm just new to it. Type in his name and find he told this girl he loves her, that they've been together since August, all whilst we have been sleeping together. I don't know what to do, do I just cut him out my life? do I call him out? Should I message her? I still care for him dearly, but it seems as if he's not the person who I think he was. | discovered on the guy I've been with for a year now's Twitter that he is in love with someone and I don't know if I should message her or not telling her he's a cheater and a liar. |
t3_s4c8p | AskReddit | About to Adopt a 2 y/o cat, and take him on an 8-hour car-ride. Any tips? | My gf and I have been volunteering at the local Humane Society (cleaning up after the cats and spending time playing with them). For some side-information, I have never owned a cat. My gf has had cats pretty much all her life. Anyways, we have fallen in love with one of the cats at the HS. He's about 2 years old, and has the most beautiful long grey hair. We contact the HS and put him on hold.
Our current apartment does not allow cats. I recently got a job in a city about 8 hours away. Since we can't keep him in our current apartment, our plan is to pick him up as we are leaving town. I feel as though this might give him a rough first impression of us.
Does anyone have any tips on how to make the drive go smoother for him? We plan on buying a large cat carrier for him to ride in, and putting a soft blanket down in the bottom of it. What about when he needs to go to the bathroom? | Adopting a cat from the Humane Society, and immediately taking him on an 8-hour car drive. Need some tips! |
t3_lc8q0 | AskReddit | Does anyone think it's wrong to disconnect from everyone/everything to get to where they want to be? | I am on a self-fulfilling mission and the distractions of human emotions/interactions make me feel like they are holding me back. I thought up a plan to just save up about 10 grand and move out to the city. I want to follow my dream and i want to know that i can achieve it, but it's going to cost me hell. I'm 21, and so i know i have a shot to do what i want, the way i want, and not have anyone get in the way. But....should i achieve this at the expense of friends/family/love.... do you think they will understand? | I'm moving for a dream, and wonder if it will be worth estranging myself from all around me. Do you think they will understand? |
t3_3lu2rf | relationships | Me [25F] was warned about guy I am seeing [30M] and don't know what to believe! | I am seeing a guy named Bob. Before Bob I was seeing Chris. Chris lied to me and I couldn't really see him in the same way anymore but he fell in love with me very hard. I eventually needed to break it off and start seeing other people. I ran into Chris when I was out with Bob and Chris later called me drunk, practically crying and asking all about Bob. He told me he knew him and warned me about him. Apparently Chris is dating a girl that Bob used to date, Ashley, and Chris asked Ashley about Bob. Ashley said all these horrible things about his checkered past and that he is really creepy, manipulative, and still tries to contact her. Chris sent me a long text telling me all of this out of the blue, today. Chris claims he is just looking out for me and he is genuinely happy and totally over me. I am really upset that he would do this and I am worried that Bob still might be talking to Ashley. Bob adamantly denies it.
What do I believe? | Used to date a guy who warned me about current guy I am dating and I don't know whether or not to believe him. |
t3_4kdv81 | relationships | Me [25 M] with my fiance [26 F] 6 year relationship, will not get a job but expects me to do a job, 150 hours overtime per month and 50% of the house work? | Hey,
I am hoping I can get some opinions on what I can / should do in my current situation.
Basically I work full time, have to commute so I'm out of the house for 11 hours of the day, my SO, does not work, does not get any benefits (as I make too much) so we came to an agreement that until she finds a job she can just do house work and we can call it even, I take care of all my bill, all her bills, food, clothes, everything else than involves money as she literally has 0, this was 2 years ago.
My issue is that lately nothing has been getting done, I have been trying to save up for a deposit on a house so I am working overtime essentially every night, I do 150 hours at work, 170 hours overtime from home which is fine as we are both anti-social people with little to no friends so it's not like I'm missing out on anything, she is fine with this and she understands that in doing this I can reduce our deposit time from years to months, without this I could save £500 per month, now I can save just over £2000 so you can see the time it will take to save has been drastically reduced.
However for the last couple of weeks I've had to do half the house work as well, things like hovering, dishes, wiping down bunkers, basically everything but cooking and washing, we live in a 1 bedroom apartment so it's not as if there's massive amounts to do and it only takes me about an hour to do per day, but here's the thing, after an 11 hour day, then coming home and doing my allocated overtime hours the absolute last thing I want to do is dishes, hovering and dusting (allot of our stuff is glass and that's awful for dust)
I'm almost at the end of my rope, she isn't looking for a job and has 0 intentions of looking for a job, to paraphrase her "I'm to scared to live in the real world" (IE she is too scared to get a job, despite having a diploma and several other good qualifications) | SO wont get a job, expects me to maintain a job, do excessive overtime to speed up getting a house and 50% of the house work, i'm almost done |
t3_3to261 | relationships | Friend never gave me solid advice that would have helped me succeed in my career but helps others on reddit | Friend of 10+ years dismissed my questions for help when I asked for advice in order to break into the I.T field.
I would ask general questions such as, "hey what language or certification should I be looking for?" ,but he would tell me to, "Google it."
Recently I found out that he gives useful advice to total strangers here on Reddit and has even asked others to "mentor him".
Although I believe everyone is responsible for their success, I also believe that we all need some help at some point.
My belief is that he saw me as competition and did not want to see me succeed. After he became established and made 2x my yearly income he would compare things I would buy to his, only to point out the obvious… why his stuff was better/ more expensive.
Among other issues this made me re-consider the friendship and I cut ties.
My resentment led me to end friendship, is it rational? | Friend never helped me when I asked questions that would have helped me move to a better career but he helps (advises) strangers here on reddit. I resented him for it and ended friendship. |
t3_394qnb | relationships | I [20] have commitment issues from past relationships, please help. | There are times when I feel nervous and worried about being in a relationship. I'm afraid of being emotionally invested in someone and suddenly having it fall apart. I don't like feeling vulnerable and left to think about the "what ifs" even when I know I can trust the person that I'm currently dating.
I've been cheated on by three of my ex's in my past. The first two occurred quite a while ago. My last ex was the worst one, I was my ex's first girlfriend. He had major trust issues, was highly jealous, controlling, and verbally abusive. That relationship ended more than a year and a half ago. He tried to justify cheating on me because he wanted to get revenge due to seeing a tagged picture of me on Facebook. There was nothing wrong with the picture at all, I was next to two of my best friends where one happens to be a guy that I have a sibling-like relationship with. He later admitted to cheating on me additional times while he went to party with his friends to alleviate his anger.
I've also noticed more people in my area, friends of friends, cheating on their partners. It doesn't help my situation.
I have no reason to think that my partner is cheating on me, it's simply just the past and other peoples affairs haunting me. How do I keep myself from the occasional "what-if" scenarios in my mind?
This probably sounds silly to some people, but I'm serious. | Some of my ex's cheated on me. Last ex was the worst. I know people around my area cheating on their partners. Therefore, I've developed some commitment issues. |
t3_3iaqlq | tifu | TIFU by being the worst scholarship interviewer ever | So my work involves providing scholarship grants to college students.
We traveled by car for over 4 hours to reach our destination. It was pretty exhausting.
We had over a hundred applicants vying for 10 scholarship slots, and there were only three of us.
The whole process involved the applicants taking an exam, and then we interview them afterwards to know about their financial status and their backgrounds.
The whole thing was pretty routine, and by the time I got to applicant #82, I was already out of focus.
So I skimmed her application, and I saw that her only means of financial support was her mother. I asked her where her father was, and she responded by saying, he died last year, after having a heart attack. From the looks of her face, she was still pretty upset about it.
I responded by asking her, "Heart Attack? Isn't that the song by Demi Lovato?", followed by a loud laugh.
She was clearly not amused. She became teary-eyed and morose all of a sudden. At this point, I already realized that what I said was very inappropriate, so I tried to divert things by asking her about her degree and whatnot. | College student told me her dad died of a heart attack. Responded by making a a terrible joke about it. College student cried. |
t3_4ccmzp | relationships | I [23/F] am worried about my boyfriend [31/M] and his poor eating habits | We've been together about nine months now, but it's not incredibly serious. He's great and we have a fun time, but the thing that's bothering me is that fact that he eats so poorly.
He's vegan and eats like crap most of the time, to the point where he has no energy and spends most of his time sleeping. I'm worried that he's damaging his health.
The easy thing to do here would be to talk to him about it, however my last boyfriend used to badger me about my diet and it drove me to resent him. It felt like he was controlling me and mothering me, which ultimately destroyed our relationship. I don't want to be that person to my new boyfriend, especially as our relationship isn't that serious yet. | My boyfriend eats poorly and I'm worried about him. How can I make sure he eats better without sounding like his mother? |
t3_1qd7oh | self | Suffering through the worst breakup. | My boyfriend and I had been dating for two years (5 months ago to present long distance). We have a lot of history and my two year old calls him dad. He was there for my sons birth. He was there for me a lot. Towards the end of our relationship we had been through a few breakups that would lead to us getting back together in little time. Just about a week ago we broke up, mutually. We decided that all our arguing wasn't doing either of us good and we were constantly hurting each other's feelings. We ended up on the phone later, both crying ourselves dry and got back together. Yesterday we got in a small argument via text messaging which was actually caused by our texts being sent and received at different times. I called him after a while and we ended up getting into another small fight about something silly and he hung up on me. I called him back later and when he answered I told him that I told him we really needed to try and move on.
He called me about a hour ago. He fell asleep driving home and hit a light pole. Driver's side. Car is totaled. The police officer said he was lucky to be alive. I was in tears. I was so happy he was okay.
During our phone call about the accident he told me he was sorry for getting upset with me when we were texting. He told me he loved me. I told him that I loved him too. I told him then that we weren't getting back together. I told him it wasn't healthy to be arguing all the time. I told him I still cared for him a lot. I care that he's in good health and I want the best for him.
I feel awful. I just was so scared of losing him, but I refused to get back together.
It's hard enough to get over a break up of a significant relationship. Even worse to hear that they walked out of a fatal accident. | broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years the day before he got in a fatal car accident, but survived. I feel awful. |
t3_12nafj | AskReddit | What do you think of 4chan vs reddit? | 4chan and reddit have had a long history of rivalry, and being relatively new to places like reddit/4chan, I'm confused. So I tried looking up answers on reddit itself with not many good results. I decided to do some research myself and assembled some info. Here's what I got:
4chan, founded in 2003, was once the great powerhouse of the internet. It created memes, jokes, everything. When reddit was founded in 2005, it was almost another 9gag. F7U12 was a dominant subreddit. Reddit often stole jokes and memes from 4chan and 4chan claimed reddit keeps ruining their jokes. 4chan criticised reddit a lot (and still does). Over time, the average quality of the 4chan post declined, and pornography increased on 4chan around 2006-2010. This could be due to news coverage introducing newfags to 4chan. At this point in time, reddit's power began to increase. Eventually, reddit changed into the new powerhouse. Most new memes were being created on reddit, not 4chan. While 4chan is still a cool site, its glory days are over.
Today, reddit ranks 135th most popular website ([source] while 4chan ranks 1072nd most popular ([source] | 4chan is the old powerhouse of the internet, but recently, reddit has gained much power and surpassed 4chan's power. |
t3_ygbh6 | AskReddit | How did you become a legend at your school? | On my first week of Highschool we had a school sports day. I decided to dress up as a bird, with plastic bags for wings. It was a pretty mint costume. But anyway, one of the challenges was that you had to get 30 people onto about 10 desks, with no one touching the ground. The group and I got up to 11 desks to 30 people, when it all turned to shit. There was a massive collapse, and I was immediately pushed down. I was flapping around, wings flailing to the front of me.... When all of a sudden I grabbed on to something. A pair of breast. The girls just stood there and scream pleased, I stared agog and everyone else just laughed. I was thought of as legend by the guys at my school from that moment on, but the girls thought I was pervert. To try to ease this situation, I wrote her a 3 page apology letter which I then sent a friend. He gave to her, but this apology letter, a stick figure picture of me, touching said girls breasts. When I learnt of this I actually cried my eyes, I was such an idiot. but somehow everything resolved itself | Bird costume, made me fall on someone's tits. A legend amongst men, a leper amongst women. Bad stick figure solves awkward situation |
t3_30wf7p | college | Consequences of a "W" grade? | Anyone really familiar with the consequences of a "W" grade? It's that thing you get when you drop a class mid-semester.
I rolled a *really* bad ENGL2 teacher.
****
You read maybe 40-50 pages every 2 days, write nondescript "analysis of evidence" for each piece of work (usually 3-6 pieces at one page per), get graded with little to no commentary (what happens when you assign so much work), have superficial and frankly elementary discussion in class, then forget about it. You move onto the next block. It's so much dull, uninspiring work for so little personal or academic benefit. [/complaining] | If you take a class, drop it, then retake it the next semester...what does that look like? US schooling, so I'm told that it's "bad", but that is pretty vague. |
t3_3fynxw | relationship_advice | I'm dating a drug addict and I feel absolutely helpless and depressed. | For starters, I don't do any drugs (except drink). In January, I found my boyfriend's stash, where he also left all of his discarded baggies and such. For two weeks I sat and watched him, realizing that our relationship was based on lies. He was (and still is) lying to me EVERY single day about why he looked ill and was "just really sleepy." Of course, after looking up what powdered heroin looked like, and what they symptoms of heroin use were, I realized it was even worse than I thought. This had clearly been going on for months and months. He literally spends every single dime he makes on heroin. He lies to me about paying bills, even lied to me about losing his debit card, saying that was why he couldn't pay for anything. I finally broke down and confronted him (i hate confrontation) and it was horrible. He got mad at me, saying I shouldn't be in his business, etc... He told me he'd stop, though. I went with it. I believed him. Then of course I keep finding out he has ordered more and more every payday. He just keeps lying, saying he's been clean for like three or four months, but I know he's spent nearly $1000 in July alone on bitcoin. This guy must think I'm a damn retard. I recently graduated with my bachelors degree, really trying to make something of my life and every day I wake up, thinking I'm going to find him dead. It makes me feel absolutely helpless and alone. I've never felt so lonely in my life, because I can't tell anyone. Thanks for letting me vent, and please offer up any advice. I know I need to confront him again, but I know he is emotionally unstable and I'm scared of what he will do to himself. I really truly love him. Every time he runs out, he goes through withdrawls and I can see a little bit of himself, his REAL self come through... but then it starts all over again. | My boyfriend is a drug addict who is pretending that he is 4 months sober, and I'm scared to confront him because I am a weenie. |
t3_17f0tf | loseit | Will my weight loss even out? Worried about sagging skin. | Hey r/LoseIt! I just started losing weight two weeks ago (got a membership to Anytime Fitness), and I have some questions for you guys. I started at 336 pounds and I weighed myself today and I am at 316 pounds. Now, I know that this large drop in weight early on is normal, but will it balance out later?
A little information-
I am 21 years old. I go to the gym and do cardio and strength training 5 days a week. I am currently shooting for 2000 calories a day, but I'm pretty sure I am only getting around 1600 or so.
The primary reason I am concerned is that I want to avoid loose skin as much as possible. I have been overweight (250+ pounds) for probably around 8 or so years now and that worries me. I am young so I hope that helps somewhat with the issue. I don't mind keeping the stretch marks, but I don't want to have loads of excess skin. | I'm 21 and have been 250+ pounds for 8 years. Went from 336 to 316 in two weeks. Want to avoid saggy skin, will my weight loss even out? (I do strength and cardio 5 days a week) |
t3_ix8cc | AskReddit | How can I stop taking naps so often? | I take them after school/work a lot of times because I just can't help it. Shit always seems to go wrong after naps. My sleep pattern gets fucked up and I usually end up having trouble sleeping that night. I sometimes end up missing my normal dinnertime. I almost always end up really unpleasantly thirsty.
During the school year, I'd often have to do homework and shiz at absurd times because of unfortunate and long naps I took. Today was finally the tipping point, though. I've been trying to make plans to go to the movies with a good friend for a few weeks now, but something always came up for her when we were going to go. Today I come home from work, tired as shit because I spent the day doing a bunch of menial stuff (stuffing envelopes en masse, mostly). I pretty instantly collapsed in bed and fell asleep.
I wake up to a text from this friend asking if I wanted to see a movie tonight along with another friend of hers. I call her right after I read the text message, and she says she's at the theater already. Realizing that I'd get there super late between getting dressed and driving to the theater (well, a good twenty minutes into the movie probably), I told her that maybe some other time would be better.
I'm tired of naps fucking me over. I never lie down to intentionally take a nap. It's always the "well, I can rest my eyes for a second" attitude that leads to them. How can I stop taking them? | Taking naps after school/work is fucking me over in about 1,000 different ways. How can I stop taking them? |
t3_12azbv | relationship_advice | [22/M] Need some advice with my gf of 7 years.. | I've been with my girlfriend for 7 years, and we moved in together about 4 months ago. All has been good up until yesterday when she seemed mad at me for something. Turns out she was upset because I was at my parents house on her only day off this week. And I mean really upset. Like considering breaking things off upset. So after arguing with her on and off at work all day, I came home and looked through her text messages, thinking that there has to be more to this. This is what I found in her messages to her best friend:
GF: So I need some advice, you know my coworker X? Well, we've been talking a lot and he told my boss that he's been having dreams about me, and we even went to happy hour on Wednesday.. And I can't stop thinking about him either.. What the fuck am I supposed to do??
She sent this text 3 days ago. Her friends response was to distance herself from him and try to work things out with me. Nothing has happened between the two of them, but it still stings like hell to hear that your girlfriend of 7 years is having feelings for someone else. She won't be home for another hour or so, and I have no idea what to do. Should I tell her I went through her texts? Should I bring it up at all? Help me Reddit! | Found texts in my gf's phone saying shes been having feelings for a coworker. What should I do?? |
t3_mia5t | relationships | I screwed up. How can I win her back? | I was in a relationship with a girl for about a year(our anniversary is in 2 weeks) we ran into some problems around august.(mainly my fault) I let a girl kiss me and stopped her before things got out of hand(I know its still not an excuse).
Then we went on a break because my grandmother passed away and I needed time to reevaluate my life. She got used to not having me around(as she told me) and didnt want to continue the relationship.
She didnt want to deal with my family issues and problems and worrying about me.(I can see how it can be stressful)
I know I cant make her love me and I want her to be happy. but I was hoping that talking to her in a week or two and asking her if we can hang out might work or if i should just give it more time. I wanted to treat her out to something nice and work as a friend from there.
I have our anniversary gift(it was an engraved necklace) that i wanted to give to her but Im not so sure about what to do right now... | Fucked up my relationship, trying to mend it through kind gestures and time(as a friend and then onward), need advice. |
t3_3lomia | relationships | Me [16F] with my mum [47F] I don't know how to tell her that I'm going to the doctors tomorrow about anxiety | So basically I got a doctors appointment on Tuesday to go to the doctors because my anxiety that I've had for the longest time has gotten so bad and I just don't know how to tell my mum about it. I have to because she will wonder where I am after college and I know I have to tell her because if I need to attend therpy or have medication. We've never spoken about my anxiety before and she probably doesn't know
Does anyone have any suggestions how I tell her? I think its extremely difficult and embarrassing to tell people stuff like this. It me a year to tell her about my period haha | I have awful anxiety that is ruining my life. Finally getting a doctors appointment but I am struggling how to tell my mum. |
t3_1hfpz2 | relationships | Me (24m) freaked out over very small comment by my GF (24f) | This original post got me thinking about my own relationship...
I too like making life easier for my girlfriend. I find true joy in knowing that I have done something to make my girlfriend of 2 years' life easier or better.
We were talking the other night and she said something of how she liked how helpful I am but it's funny because she mostly goes for the big macho guys.
It was just a little comment but it definitely made me feel small. Then I read that other original post on r/relationships and it scared me. It basically shows how you can be blind and overlook when a SO makes you feel small for when you normally behave and have a normal loving relationship.
Is this something that normally happens? If I don't address the way she made me feel am I going down a slippery slope of abuse? Or is this something to just move on with? She didn't mean any harm by it, so I want to just move on, but that is literally a line the OP from the original post said. Weird. | GF makes made me feel small with one comment the other night. Post on r/relationships shows up and looks like me in the future of what could be. |
t3_2d2gkj | tifu | TIFU by choking on pineapple juice and throwing up on my aunty and my family's dinner. | This didn't happen today, actually happened a couple days ago. Anyways, we were having a family reunion dinner at my cousins place. It was just a casual dinner and there wasn't a really big reason for it. However, the food was still expensive looking. There was stuff like lobster and venison, which is pretty hard to get here in New Zealand. Anyways, i was sitting on the long side of the table, facing the roast venison with my aunty sitting on the other side. I was trying to stay sober because i had some errands to do the next morning, so i decided to get myself a glass of pineapple juice while everybody else was getting drunk as fuck!
Now this is where the fuck up happens. Everybody starts telling their drunk stories. It was my brothers turn to tell a story and the story he told cracked me up a little too hard. As he got to the funny part of the story, i was taking a massive gulp of my pineapple juice. I tried not to make the pineapple juice come out my nose so i decided to swallow it while i was laughing my ass off. That resulted in me choking and threw up a tsunami! It was like a car driving over a fire hydrant in GTA! Everything i had for dinner that night had sprayed across the table, all over the food and right into my aunty's face! My whole family just turned and looked and me and laughed! But my aunty wasn't impressed..
I now have a new nickname: WATERBLASTER. | My brother tells a hilarious story at the dinner table that made me choke on pineapple juice and throw up on the food and my aunty. Now my family calls me waterblaster. |
t3_2o97vd | relationships | I [22 F] need advice for finding work/life balance with my [22 M] fiance [4 year relationship] | Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks.
This past weekend, my boyfriend of four years popped the question out of the blue and I said yes. Initially, I was ecstatic about it, although I still felt a bit disappointed because it seemed fairly rushed. I know most people wouldn't think waiting four years is really rushing, but I feel in this situation my boyfriend is afraid of losing me because of life stresses right now.
Currently, we are both applying to medical school and I am the only one with a decent-paying job. I commute 3+ hours every day and work for at least 8; most days I leave at 6 am and get home around 7 pm. As you can imagine, this is fairly stressful because I have very little time for exercise, cooking, or any other basic things I need to do to keep myself healthy, never mind relaxation. I know this is probably killing me slowly but I don't really have another option right now.
The reason I have been living so far from work is because my fiance failed one of his courses in college and needed to stay an extra semester to graduate. Initially I was okay with living closer to college so he could finish his course, but now that he is almost done I really want to move. Trouble is, we can't afford to break our one year lease, especially now that he has spent around two months rent on an engagement ring.
This weekend I felt ecstatic that he proposed, and now I feel more trapped than excited. I love him dearly and would like to keep our relationship but I feel like this engagement was too soon and I don't know how to undo everything now that all our family and friends know about it.
Sorry for such a long post and if this isn't the best subreddit to post this on, but I would really like some anonymous help about this issue. | I cannot tolerate my absurd workday much longer and feel like I was rushed into engagement because my fiance was worried I would leave him. Not sure how I can keep both work and my relationship. |
t3_2gxhc8 | relationships | Me [20 M] struggling after being turned down by friend [20 F] | I'm a college student, and at the beginning of the semester, I met this girl (Emily) through mutual friends. We ended forming a pretty tight-knit group of friends, and we would hang out all the time since we all live close together on campus.
I found Emily extremely genuine and easy to talk to. There were few occasions when just the two of us would be hanging out, and we would have so much fun talking, joking, playing badminton, or whatever. We would sometimes chat pretty late at night and talk about deep things like our dreams, beliefs, and stuff like that. I really really thought that we meshed really well.
So last week, I basically collected all the balls I had and told her that I was starting to like her. She basically told me that she didn't think she was ready for a relationship, and she already liked someone who wasn't emotionally available. It didn't seem like a big deal then; I thought we would just stay friends and keep having fun like always.
Rejection always sucks, so inevitably I was a little down for two days and kind of recollected myself. After the two days, I thought everything's cool, and I'm over it.
The thing is I still find myself getting jealous when she goes to have exclusive conversations with other guys. I honestly wish I wouldn't get jealous and I really don't have a right to, but every time it happens it feels like my heart hurts a little. I really don't know how I can recover from this. Will it just get better over time? I really don't think avoiding her is an option because we are in the same group of friends. I also really enjoy her company as well. How can I get over the feelings and
stop feeling jealous? | Told girl I liked her and got turned down, thought I was okay but I get jealous when she talks to other guys |
t3_1ymj39 | relationships | I [19/F] think my [20/M] boyfriend still has feelings for his ex. | Let me just give you some background information on myself. Before this relationship I had seen someone for over a year and a half, after being lied to and cheated on it screwed me up emotionally. To the point where I tried to kill myself multiple when it ended because I believed life was no longer worth living without him.
Several years later, I have not been able to keep someone in my life due to my "wall" preventing me from letting people in, so the time between I had short and completely insignificant relationships. Now I met this guy, who I have fallen completely head over heels in love with. I feel like I can completely be myself around him, he makes me feel amazing.
The problem is I am convinced he is not over his ex that he was with for almost 2 years. They lived together, conceived a child that then was aborted, let's just say a lot happened in that relationship. And I know a lot about it because he has been completely open about everything, which is not a bad thing but when I hear "blah blah blah.. my ex" practically every day it tends to make me feel like he just hasn't gotten over her. I believe it's been 8 months since they have been broken up. He's constantly bringing her up.
I've gotten myself into this really deep, and I know he's not as into this as I am because about a week ago I told him I loved him, and he was flattered, but he doesn't feel the same and feels like it would be unfair if he lied about it. Not to say he hasn't been putting enough effort into the relationship because he has, but I know I've been putting in much more due to my stronger feelings for him. | I've been nothing but caring and affectionate, I would do anything to make this boy happy, but I don't know if I can make him happy if he's not over her. |
t3_xsjwa | relationships | Will be traveling with friend who happens to be ex-gf. Recently started dating amazing new girl. What can I do to make this trip Not Weird? | My friend and I (let's call her Jane) found out that we were planning on being in Montreal at the same time as one another so we've synced up our itineraries, planned some activities together, etc. Importantly, Jane happens to be an ex-girlfriend of mine. This itself isn't the problem, she and I have a really comfortable platonic relationship.
The issue is that I just recently started dating someone new, let's call her Sarah. Things are still pretty early on with us, but I have been absolutely blown away by her and am very interested in pursuing a relationship. This is my #1 priority.
I'm worried that Sarah is going to be uncomfortable with the idea of me having a travel buddy that I used to date. Frankly I would feel that way if the situation was reversed. Reddit, this is what I want your help with: What steps can I take to make this situation more comfortable for Sarah? I want to make everything as above-board and transparent as possible.
Short of cancelling the trip I'm willing to put anything on the table. So far I've been thinking that we should all probably get together, not to talk about the trip necessarily, but just so that Sarah and Jane can get to know one another and hopefully make the situation more comfortable. I'm also planning on making myself extremely reachable by phone/email while I'm away. If worse comes to worse I am also willing to throw Jane under the bus, cancel all of our plans, and travel solo although I'm hoping that that won't be necessary. | The title basically says it all. Traveling with friend I used to date. Seeing incredible new girl. What can I do to make this easier for her? |
t3_d3609 | AskReddit | Reddit, how likely is it I can get out of a traffic ticket on a technicality? | Citation I was issued: Failure to yield right of way at a stop sign
The police officer (she was a trainee, judging by how the older officer was feeding her questions to ask me) who wrote me the citation got some of the details about my car wrong. Specifically, the citation said my car is green. I don't own a green car. And my car couldn't be mistaken for green, and it was a bright sunny day, so vision condition weren't impaired. If the detail on the ticket are wrong, what are the chances the DA will drop the charges?
Also, I'm an EMT. If I wear my EMT uniform to the meeting, think it will work in my favor seen as how I'm a civl servant as well? | Cop fucked up on vehicle details, I don't want to pay the $ or have the 4 points on my license. Can I get out of it? |
t3_38k0vv | tifu | TIFU by trying to install Silverlight for Netflix | There was this show I wanted to watch but somehow there were no... other ways... of watching it, but Netflix (Canada at that!) had it. So I went to get my first free trial and Netflix account. I found the show and went to check it out and then I'm told I have to install Silverlight. I first recoil in terror at seeing this piece of archaic technology that I have done so well so avoid for years, but decide to go through with it anyway and install it.
Well, of course it wasn't easy. Damn thing immediately fails installation, telling me to see if I have a temp folder or if I have access. Well I obviously do. Commence me:
* Spending at least an hour browsing support pages, trying all the fun things like temp folder purges, registry fixes, Microsoft Fixit things, reboots, system updates, and tons of reinstalls
* Trying out Microsoft support to find out I don't actually have support
Well the support guy helped a bit anyway and suggested to clear my temp folders. Yeah, I already did that, but whatever let's try again. He was all fancy with his use of Run, so I go to run %temp% to get an error message showing me the folder doesn't exist. Well it also showed me the folder, and at the end was appended ;E:\program\ffmpeg\bin. Yeah... turns out my user TEMP environment variable had the usual text with *that* appended to it. I guess I accidentally did that when I went to put it in my PATH variable. Silverlight was trying to put its stupid installation log in that non-existent folder and would then immediately give up. | I accidentally corrupted my TEMP user variable and Silverlight depends on it for installation, but its vague message led me to hours of pretty useless google searches |
t3_3n2ghs | offmychest | (Ex?)friend lied about having leukaemia a few years ago. Her brother was recently diagnosed with actual leukaemia. What the hell | I'm sure there's probably a better sub for this but I'm fairly new to reddit and this was the only place I could think of. This doesn't seem to be right for the karma subs because it's kind of dark?? idk. anyways
Had a friend a few years ago. Met her at a summer job. She was really outgoing and bubbly but I think she had some underlying issues that were never addressed at that time. She seemed really co-dependent and lied about anything and everything. We kept in touch, and one time she told me she had been diagnosed with leukaemia and did not want treatment and wanted to die in peace. I knew she was a liar but didn't think she would lie about something like that. Long story short, she did. She's fine. We kind of drifted apart after a few years. I don't hold any anger towards her, I get that we were dumb teenagers and she had some issues she didn't know how to address in a healthy manner. I've always wished the best for her.
Well today I found out via facebook that her older brother was recently actually diagnosed with leukaemia. This is obviously devastating for their family. I haven't been able to contact her because she's on a social media break, but I contacted her mom and offered my support and told her I'd be willing to be tested to be a bone marrow donor (friend of mine shared the mom's post asking for donors which is how I found out about the whole situation).
I just feel so..... gross about the whole situation. Like, you pretended to have fucking CANCER FOR ATTENTION. Now your brother FOR REAL HAS CANCER. Her sweet, wonderful parents are completely devastated. I'm not going to say "serves you right" because no one fucking deserves that no matter what they've done, but part of me hopes she remembers the fake cancer thing (I think I was the only person she told? Maybe one of very few) and feels bad about making light of such an obviously serious diagnosis. I wonder if she remembers at all. | crazy liar friend fakes having cancer. years later, her brother is diagnosed with the same cancer she pretended to have. fucked up |
t3_3dciet | relationships | I am slowly realizing that my (F25) ADHD is affecting my boyfriend (M27) and my relationship (3 years) negatively | I have, I'd say, moderate ADHD. I am forgetful, disorganized, easily distracted and hyper. I just googled 'ADHD and relationships' and I clicked on the first link which was an article about the 5 top indicators of ADHD within a relationship. Oh boy, well it describes us pretty well.
Coming to terms with the fact that I need to start taking my condition seriously, and that it's not a joke or something mild that can go untreated. I will probably have to take medication for a long time and it's hard for me to come to terms with that, but I will do it. I owe it to myself and my SO.
Have any of you gone through something similar? | MY ADHD is affecting my relationship negatively. I am going to the doctor's next week and getting medication. Accepting my condition has been difficult. I want to get better for myself and my SO. |
t3_2cgy6x | relationships | (Serious) I [20M] live with my ex [18F] and its super hard to act like we arent together. | Ok so to start we arent together anymore because I went behind her back and texted people she asked me not to text and I deleted them and betrayed her trust.
Well that was about a month and a half ago, but now we live together in a one bedroom studio and we share the same bed. Every day I still tell her I love her and I call her babe and baby amd we cuddle at night and sometimes have sex.
Well the other night she told me to be less "Loving" and I didnt know what to or how to act. Like I didnt cuddle her when she was going to sleep and she started to get upset. So ofcourse I gave in because I do honestly love her more than anything. But I just dont know what to love less or how to. I just love her. | live with my ex. I still think we are in a relationship and we aren't but we do some things like we are. How or what should I do? |
t3_2g9id3 | relationships | Me [18F] with my stubborn dad, I want to go away to school but I'm having a hard time convincing him. Help!? | I want to move away to a university very close to home (a few hours away by boat) but my dad isn't on board. My mom agrees that it's a good choice for me to move out an be independent.
I want to get my BFA in theater (I've heard everyone's problems with that, don't give me any advice about that, I've chose what I want to do) and I feel like it would be great for me to be able to live in residence and to have a chance to be more independent and to have a nice community of friends in residence that I could be close to.
My ex boyfriend just started going to that school a couple of weeks ago and my dad thinks I want to go there because he's there (he doesn't know we aren't together anymore, not that it'll change his opinion.) The fact that I hadn't brought it up before my ex left doesn't help that fact, but my dad has always told me that I should have all the information before hand so I can make the right choice.
Apparently that wasn't the right thing to do in this situation, and I don't know how to show him that I want to go for the right reasons. He doesn't understand why I would want to go away to school when there are good schools near our house and then there's no extra living costs. The cost isn't a problem, but he's using it as a sort of excuse as to why I shouldn't go away because he doesn't want to tell me his real reasons.
I've also had mental health problems in the past and I think he's afraid that if I go away and things aren't going well then I'll fall into another really bad depression and that I won't let my parents know. I'm feeling a lot better after going to therapy and being on medication for a while, and I know that I don't want to let that happen to my life again.
How do I convince him that this is the best choice for me and that I'm doing this for the right reasons even though he's being stubborn? | Stubborn dad has concerns about me going away to university and won't talk to me about them or listen to my reasoning. How do I talk to him and convince him that I want to do this for the right reasons? |
t3_13v24c | relationships | I (M/30) am in a good relationship with (F/29) but have a never-ending crush on a friend (F/29) and there's no good way to stop seeing her. What do I do? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 1/2 years and living together for 1 year. We have a happy relationship.
About 3 years ago I met a girl that I worked with, and as it turned out, we were both beginning relationships. We spent a ton of time together at work, really clicked, flirted all the time, but we were never more than friends. Still, I developed a crush that lasts to this day. Soon after I met this girl, my gf and I started hanging out with the girl and her boyfriend.
We now hang out with them all the time, almost every weekend and often more. We go on vacation, spend some holidays together, and we are close friends.
I no longer work with the girl, but by coincidence, although we live in a pretty spread out suburb, we ended up working near each other. We talk on gchat every day and will meet for lunch or happy hour once or twice a week.
I realized the other day just how long I've had a crush on this girl. It's never gone away. I think she's crushed on me too, at least in the past if not now, and probably not to the extent that I've crushed on her. She definitely flirts back and seems like she's attracted to me.
We are both in serious, long-term relationships, we both live with our SO's. And this crush just won't go away. It's been years now that I've waited for it to fade. Because my gf and I see them all the time, I have no idea what to do. I can't just stop seeing her without an explanation. Although I'm happy with my gf, I think about this other girl every day and can't wait until the next time I see her.
Any suggestions of what to do here? | GF and I are good friends with another couple, have crushed on the girl in the couple for years with no end in sight. How do I stop when I see her all the time? |
t3_1mmq3x | relationships | My partner [28/M] of 5 years is still in love, but I [25/M] am not. I've somewhat ended things, and now I'm not sure how to move forward. | Our relationship was amazingly happy and healthy by all standards. We were together longer and stronger than all our similarly aged friends. I truly love him, but I no longer have romantic feelings.
The largest complications came from my mistakes while struggling to save our relationship. We were planning a big cross-country move even though on some level I knew my feelings had changed. In a MONUMENTAL mistake, I asked him to marry me. I guess I thought making that commitment would save my feelings or fix things... Obviously in retrospect I see how foolish that decision was.
After I've taken him 3,000 miles from our friends and family, the stress of our relationship and big move aggravates the situation, and I can no longer stay in denial about my feelings. I have always been very open and honest with him about my feelings, and this wasn't the time to stop. I tried to let him down easy, but there is no easy way to tell the person you care about most that you aren't in love.
We had a rough few months after that, but we have stayed living together. It's a new city and we still have to rely on each other. We get along great, except for the sexual frustration and resentment that comes from me having sex with other guys.
Now I'm just not sure what to do next. He wants to stay with me; he says he is still in love and his feelings haven't changed, but I am simply not in the same place I was 5 years ago. At this point I'm not interested in dating anyone, and that includes him. Is it best to stay together and avoid completely leaving a loved one alone (even though he is still holding out hope I will fall back in love with him)? Or should I fully end things instead of dragging things out for both of us? | I fell out of love, and I don't know if I should leave my man, or stay in his life although I've moved on. |
t3_xwwga | AskReddit | How much (if any) is genital HSV-1 an absolute for you in terms of future relationship potential? | Long story short, I was in a long term, monogamous relationship with a virgin, he went down on me, and I contracted oral herpes genitally. Google it if you're interested, but I've been told (by multiple doctors, and the Internet) that because I have oral herpes at its "non preferred" location, chances are extremely small that I'd be able to transmit it to anyone else, and almost infentesimal that I'd be able to give it genitally to anyone with oral herpes themselves, which 60-80% of the population does. My particular strain is especially mild- what it boils down to for me is a vague mildly irritating itching sensation for a few days. I've had two outbreaks, spaced over a year apart from each other.
TBH though, though it may sound as if I think everything is fine, I'm pretty emotionally devastated. I've worked through a lot of it, but it's been over a year and I've been unable to bring myself to open up to anyone enough to get to the point where I would have to tell them, meaning anything below the belt. I'm ridiculously sexually frustrated and worried that my (sex) life is over at 22. This is especially true because I have always been interested in BDSM, and even explored the lifestyle somewhat seriously in my past relationships, but now I feel like I will never get to explore that aspect of myself. I've read a lot about this, both medical and personal narrative stuff, but most of the people posting about this topic seem to be fairy emotionally invested in this topic in one direction or the other, and I'd really like something of a general barometer for how big of a deal this would be for the average guy. | I have oral herpes on my genitals and I'm looking for some feedback on how much of a dealbreaker this could potentially be. Here's hoping. |
t3_3ktvr3 | relationships | Me [25 M with my ex [24 F] (9 months). Wants me to fly out to visit her | Broke up with my gf a few months ago as she was moving away to a different country to study for a couple of years. Neither of us wanted to go LD.
After breaking up, I realised that I'd made a mistake and messaged her asking to get back together. I have a few months off work, and offered to fly out to see her. She wanted to move on and make a fresh start, so I respected that.
She messaged me out of the blue a few times saying she missed me, and has now messaged me wanting to start talking/skyping again, and for me to fly out when I'm free (in about 1.5 months), and then to see if we should go LD from there when we can speak in person. I'm open to this, but I'd only do it if we agree to go exclusive from now on. She wants to talk and skype, and for me to fly out, but says that she doesn't want to go exclusive until after I fly out and we can discuss things.
Am I right in thinking this is an incredibly unfair thing to ask? I was just starting to get over her. I'd love to be back in a relationship with her, but it feels like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. I don't want to feel like I'm investing in time and flights and her to invest nothing.
I wanted some outside perspectives, as sometimes it can be incredibly useful. | Ex GF wants me to fly out to see if we can rekindle our relationship, but doesn't want to go exclusive in the mean-time. |
t3_547sa8 | relationships | Boyfriend[26M] giving me [26F] very mixed messages. | I've been with my boyfriend for approximately 4 years now, and we keep having the same issue over and over. After going on birth control pills my sex drive dropped to almost non existance - which I understand is hard for the other partner. However I've fixed that and gotten it under control. The problem is that during the time of no sex drive, my boyfriend would get very angry with me. He demanded that I not fake any sort of passion or orgasm, but also would get very angry that I wasn't passionate enough. He would get sulky and frustrated and be nasty for days, saying he didn't want me to consent to sex if I wasn't going to be into it. Then he would get nasty because we hadn't done it in a while, so I would then do it even when I really didn't want to just to make him happy. He would then be satisfied for a while before again he would say i wasn't passionate enough and then get angry and close off again. This happened repeatedly for a while, and now I'm to the point where I'm never wanting sex because to me it's not intimate anymore, no matter what I do it's not good enough, and I'm just a sex toy to him. The problem is that he's getting back into his "you aren't passionate enough" phase after guilting me into sex twice a day for the past week. He knows how I feel, but he turns any time I try to talk about it back on me, making me feel bad for not being passionate enough and feel bad for not giving him enough sex even though I really don't want it. I recently read an article about coerced consent and figure it's pretty much me. I don't know what to do about it all. | boyfriend alternates between complaining that he doesn't get enough sex and guilting me into having way more sex than i would like, and complaining that I'm not passionate enough and demanding we only have sex when I'm in the mood |
t3_4i6aq3 | relationships | Me [31/M] and wife [28/F] started trying for children but realize we hate baby names the other likes. | Wife and I have been married for 3 years, together for 5. Our relationship is great! I travel for work, gone 2 weeks, home 2 weeks and it's been like this since about 1 year into our relationship. After I started this job, I proposed. I felt any woman willing to accept and love me with the schedule I have being in foreign countries half the time, is the woman I should marry. And she is a wonderful, beautiful, amazing person. She is my rock, and no other woman could compare. It still was really hard on her, I assume to imagine spending a life with a partner who is gone half the time. Luckily, she has some flexibility with her job where during my two weeks off she only works from home and gets more days off. Otherwise it would be a lot harder on her to make this work, I'm sure. It's hard on me as well, but it's what I know so it's what I do.
We've been trying for a baby for about 2 months now, and we've started talking again about all the things we'd talked about before. All the financial and educational things we'd talked about before we got married. We also talked about these things again when we moved 2 years ago, deciding if moving from the city to a smaller town was right for us, areas with good schools, etc. But the one area we can't seem to find common ground in is what to name our children. She prefers names that I find a little odd, or that I dislike. I prefer more traditional, or more common type names. Examples of names she likes include: Cora, Britta, Emerson, Stratton, Hugo. I prefer names like: Emily, Christopher, Nicholas, Jennifer, Katie. We cannot agree on this, and I'm not sure what we should do. I don't like her unique choices and she doesn't like my common ones. | wife and I can't agree on names we'd like for our children. She likes unique names, I like traditional ones. Not sure what to do. |
t3_2pmsc3 | college | Thoughts on flying home for thanksgiving? | Hi! So I live in NJ and was accepted to and will be attending college in Colorado. I'm the first in my family to attend college more than 3 hours away.
Anyhow, my family is pretty close-knit and we always do a big thanksgiving dinner. It's only become more precious over the years because everyone is getting older (I'm the youngest in my family) and soon everybody will be moving away/starting families/whatever old people do. I guess I'd like to come home, but only if it makes sense.
I looked up when my break starts and they combined it with fall break, so it's 8 days. However, my month long winter break then happens in a little over 3 weeks. It'd be a bit much, you know? Fly home, fly back, fly home, all in the course of around a month? | Should I fly home (from CO to NJ) for my 8 day fall break or just stay at school and hope I make a friend who'll take me in for a day or two and go home for christmas only? |
t3_2i2dmx | relationships | I [23/M] just went through an emotional break up with my GF [20/F] of 2 years and I feel terrible. I am wondering if I made a huge mistake. Anyone else been in this situation? | I've been with her for 2 years and we've had our ups and downs. I love her. I really do love her and I am happy when I'm with her. She is there for me emotionally, but I've just never been entirely physically attracted to her.
Another reason is I really want to date other people and see who else is out there. Maybe I am making a huge mistake. Maybe I am too shallow. But I knew that before I dated anyone else, I would have to break up with her and lose a part of me.
So today I told her and broke her heart. I feel terrible. I cried for hours thinking about all the good times we had together. I just made either the biggest mistake of my life or one of the best decisions of my life. I don't even know.
Does anyone have any advice? | Broke up with GF of 2 years not because of any specific issues, but because of longstanding uncertainties with finding "the one". Broke her heart, I feel terrible and I'm wondering if I made a huge mistake. |
t3_tartr | AskReddit | My best friend just hooked up with my prom date about half an hour after I asked him to back off. What do I do now? (Warning: 17 year old drama) | Basically for this years prom (my junior year of high school), my two best friends(Kevin and Jake) and I decided we would decide on our prom date by drawing from a hat full of names. Clearly and ingenious system. Anyway on of those two friends friends(jake), My date, and I were all hanging out at my house. And as teenagers do we started flirting and being hormonal sex machines. I should also mention that this girl is a bit of a hoe, but shes still a good friend. Anyway she was flirting with both of us and we both went along with it. A little free boob action and fooling around was all in good fun. However as the evening moved on I stopped flirting because I didn't want to get involved with anything at the moment, and I had prom as an option to hook up with her. However my best friend continued to push on with the flirting, and she happily obliged. So eventually I pulled him aside and told him he had taken it a little over the edge and asked him to back off. He apologized and told me he didn't notice and he was just a little too horny. He drove her home ten minutes later. About half an hour later my other friend, Kevin, calls me and says that Jake just told him some "Fucked up shit man". So I called Jake and he explained to me that they made out in his car and she gave him a handjob. I had never felt so betrayed in my life so I told him we were no longer friends and I didn't want to talk to him until I was ready. So my question is, where do I go from here? Do I dump my date? Or just expect this as part of her nature? Iv'e just never been so confused,and I know there are some Redditors who can give some insight. Thank you. | ? : my best friend hooked up with my prom date minutes after I asked him to back off and now I don't know what to do. Both in regards to prom and our friendship. |
t3_1vx9tq | relationships | Me [21 M] recently broke up with my girlfriend [21 F]. She was cheating on me with tons of guys. One of the guys, she only kissed twice, is in a relationship. I'm pretty good friends with his girlfriend. Do I say something? Or let it be. Also, how am I to trust someone again? | I was dating my girlfriend for 3 years when I found out she cheated on me with multiple guys. She started dating the most recent guy, before we even broke up.
A little back story on me. My parents got a divorce when I was 17, and I had some major trust issues with anybody except my friends, because my parents were lying to me all the time. It was really hard for me to trust someone again and then I met my ex girlfriend. I finally opened myself up to her, and I trusted her the most out of anybody.
Anyways she told me all the people she cheated on me with in an email...Yeah fuck me right...One kid I use to work with and I went to high school with his girlfriend. My ex only kissed him twice and nothing more. I'm wondering if I should tell her or not.
Back to the trust thing. She seems to have no remorse of what she did to me. Her new boyfriend, she was friend with before we started dating. They recently came into contact a couple of months ago. She told me to trust her, when she hung out with him, even though I was uncomfortable with the whole situation. Ends up she was cheating on me with him, and I didn't even realize it. I feel like a fool. How do I trust anybody else after this? | My ex girlfriend cheated on me a ton, one of the boys she cheated with, i'm friends with his girlfriend and I don't know if I should tell her or not. Also, how do I trust anybody after this? |
t3_sff4v | AskReddit | My grandpa, the man that makes the V22 fly - Can I get some help, Reddit? | My intentions in this post are A) to brag on my grandfathe, and B) to get some opinions. My grandfather, the inspiration to become a (successful) mechanical engineer (Such high aspirations, I know), has as of late been noticed to be in a deteriorating state of mental capacity, and we are fearful of degenerative diseases. This man was the man who developed the flight system for the V22 Osprey Tiltrotor. From my various Lego imitations of his designs and creations to my current pursuit at aviation related engineering, he has been my role model. In light of his health, I just wanted to share a little fact about this man and let all of the COD fanboys know that every time you rack up 18 kills, that's my grandpa's baby your flying in.
Now for a little advice seeking. This year will be his 82nd year, and I want to give him a fantastic aviation-related gift. Completely over the top is absolutely fine. In your opinion, Redditors, what would be a good idea of what to do for him? | My grandfather of poor health made the flight system for the V22 Osprey and I'm bragging on him - looking for aviation-related ideas for an over-the-top 82nd birthday suprise. |
t3_46aywr | relationships | My [24M] girlfriend [24F] admits she needs help but refuses to actually get it. Time for an ultimatum? | Her problems have been having a negative effect on our relationship for quite some time. Her problem is general anxiety (diagnosed, has meds), but she thinks she's bipolar too. It turns into a problem because she becomes extremely insecure out of nowhere, about very irrational things.
When she's not like that our relationship is great, but lately I feel like part time bf, part time mediocre therapist.
So today, we got in an argument that stemmed from her being insecure. Tried to talk things through and at one point she admitted she needs help, but she's "so bad she can't even go through with getting it."
I tried to reassure her that it's the best thing she can do, and can potentially help her rather then just live the rest of her life like this. Nope. She can't... even though she just won't.
Am I being insensitive for finding this to be bullshit? I help her in every way I can. I just want her to get better, I don't want to break up...but my patience is wearing out and it's hard for me especially because my own life isn't exactly perfect.
So is an ultimatum uncalled for? Get help or I'm out? What's the gentlest way to convince her to get help? | GF needs help, knows she needs help, won't get it. Should I tell her to get help or I'm out? |
t3_2ifnv4 | relationships | Need advice for long distance relationship | I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost 5 years (we started dating when we were 15 and 13 back in high school) and she is staying in Australia right now. She'll come back in April (7 more months to go...).
I have been thinking about ending the relationship. Starting next fall, I will have to study abroad at another university for 2 years. Basically, she will come back in April, we are together for a couple of months before I leave her for 2 years.
The long distance relationship has been killing me already (It's only been like 1 month). I try not to think about her all the time, I go hang out with friends to get my mind off things. Everytime I'm by myself though, I feel super lonely and depressed while thinking about our future.
We both love each other but what's the point when you don't see each other much for the next 3 years?
Am I being to pessimistic for not believing enough in our relationship? | GF of 5 years staying in Australia til April. I'll study abroad for 2 years starting next fall. Depressed and unsure about our future. |
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