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t3_1jzkys | dating_advice | 22M can't stop over-thinking situation with 20F | So, never done this whole "dating" thing before, and suddenly I had a first date with a girl last weekend and it seems to have gone well. At least well enough that we held hands and were together for longer than I think either of us were originally planning. We have a second date set up for tomorrow evening, and this whole week has been (for me, anyway) a story of "if I can over-think it, it *will* be over-thought..."
I swear, I've gone over in my head at length everything from how the date went to each of the texts we exchanged over the course of an hour yesterday. I'm constantly worrying about messing up by being too forward, or going too far in the other direction.
Most prominent of these worries is that I may have screwed it up already. See, the second date is actually at a friend's party tomorrow evening, and I'm afraid that I may have sent the complete wrong signal by inviting her to something with several of my friends (and other people in general) for our second date, rather than something where it's just the two of us. I'm worried that it might signal that I just want to be friends instead of potentially something more (if things happen to go in that direction), in short.
Is this a decent second date idea, or did I just shoot myself in the foot, figuratively speaking? How could I show that I *am* interested in her during this? Never been in this sort of situation, so I'm nervous as all hell about it for some reason. | 22M has never dated, got a promising second date at a friend's party. Thinking I already blew my chances... |
t3_23k11t | relationships | Me [21 M] was out tonight, and my fucking [19 F] ex of course was there... I didnt handle it well | So I went out for the first time at home, since we broke up, It started off good, I was talking to a few girls at pre-drinks, and she wasn't on my mind. Then the second I got into the club, who was there but her. My night was awful from then on, I couldn't stop thinking about her, every girl that walked by, I thought was her.
I kissed another girl, the first time since we broke up nearly a month ago. Then I was walking off the dancefloor, I seen her dancing with another lad. I threw him to the ground. I think he just left her. Later on I got a drink and went to go dance with a few of the lads, and i seen her dancing with a different lad, I headbutted him (im not proud) she stormed off towards the smoking area, and I followed her just saying "what the fuck". I then called her a heartless bitch. I seen her briefly a few times after that and it broke my heart everytime I seen her at the corner of my eye. I spent the rest of the night in a depressed mood. Not wanting to talk to anyone. I got picked up by one of my friends and we just talked for around an hour.
I'm so angry, depressed, and fucked up. It really killed me seeing her get on with her life, she broke up with me, and she seems fairly okay with it already. And it kills me so much. | I dont know what Im asking... Im just so angry and hurt. Its been a month and its only getting worse. |
t3_1gl9g4 | BreakUps | Is it possible for me [17M] to get back together with my ex? [17F] | We were seeing each other for about 4 months, and in the end I was a dick to her, didn't treat her as I had done due to stress of exams and her constant flirting with other people which she obviously got angry about. I was refusing to be intimate and was unhappy most of the time, and eventually she had had enough, but she took her time to actually break up with me- I gave her space to decide and it took her two weeks to decide that she wasn't happy with me anymore. We broke up about 10 days ago but I haven't been happy since and neither has she; she has told me that she misses talking to me- I tried to go NC to get over her.
Obviously no contact completely failed, and I am still in love with her, and it won't be any time soon that I get over her. I don't know what she is feeling, but she was very sad when I asked her to give me space,and said she still cares about me.
Until I ruined everything, she had always said that she could see a future with me, in fact a long way into the future, because it was a perfect relationship until the last month.
I can only see her in my life as more than a friend, and I want it to be back to how it was, because in my eyes she is perfect and we were so happy together.
If it is at all possible, please could someone give me advice on what to do to at least try to get her back, seeing if she still has any feelings for me and whether its possible for them to return if they have gone.
Thanks | Is it possible to get back together with ex who told me she still cares about me and is missing talking to me? |
t3_1kpm8s | relationships | Me [26f] just wondering how you all look back on the memories? | I hate these memories that I have of him.
They are pointless.
The idea of the amount of shit I have shared with this one person, and no one else, giving me no one to speak to about the vast majority of my life for the past 3 years.
No one to reminisce with. Just a lot of empty fucking memories.
No one fucking cares about the shit I've done or seen, but he does.
If someone randomly mentions Slovenia, I can't mention my trip through it into Croatia and back and try to say something interesting about it with people actually giving a shit. No one fucking cares. but he would, and I'm sure had he tried to tell a story about it, it would've sounded more interesting coming out of his well-spoken mouth.
Do you know what I mean?
I shouldn't feel like I've been to Spain or Scotland or half the places in Europe that I've been because they were FOR him and with him. Those memories we built for US. not ME alone or him alone. US and US only. And I feel I can only appreciated them with him.
I see my previous ex sometimes and he reminds me of old memories that I had long forgotten and honestly don't mean anything now.
The memories we built just go to shit if you don't stay with the one you built them with.
I did a fucking US road trip with him. I wish I had done it with someone I will at least HEAR FROM EVER AGAIN.
Knowing you've seen the love of your life for the last time... this is the most heartache I've ever experienced.
How can I possibly feel like I haven't wasted the last 3 years of my life?
Life is so fucking short.
Now I'm sure he'll soon rope someone smarter and prettier and more emotionally stable into his beautiful life and take them to beautiful places..
I'm scared I've let the most beautiful man slip through my fingers.
If I didn't know that he existed, I'd be a lot better off.
Thank you for listening. | I feel I have truly wasted the last 3 years of my life and the experiences I had with him are worthless to me now that he's not here to reminisce with. |
t3_1gxf4c | AskReddit | Reddit, I'm trying to lose weight and my mom is making it absolutely miserable. How do I get her to let me make my own choices? | *please no comments about subreddits, I'm aware they exist.*
I eat pretty healthily, maybe about 1800 calories a day. I ride an exercise bike about 5 times a week for 30-45 minutes, and I walk my dog. Things are going alright, it's just my mom will NOT stop harping on me. No matter what I'm doing to lose weight, it's not enough to her. I retook my SATs and did really well, after working quite hard to bring up my scores, and treated myself to a small regular frappuccino at Starbucks, and man I didn't hear the end of that for hours. every single thing I do is wrong. I just got over a bad cold, and during the worst of which, I didn't feel up to riding the bike. She got all nasty with me. and, just five minutes ago, she was up my ass about the "extra calories" in an iced coffee made with 2oz of milk and no sugar or sweetener. How do I get her to get off my case?? | my mom is crazy and yells at me for having a 25 calorie iced coffee after doing yard work, how can I get her to not be so damn mean about me trying to lose weight? |
t3_2m7re9 | relationships | I'm (21F) dating my brother's friend (26M). Finding a balance? | So I did what every older brother dreads and I fell in love with his best friend. We've been dating for 6 months now. Things are going well! I've known him for a few years now and this year I got the chance to hang out with him more. Eventually we started hanging out a lot and neither of us wanted to see anybody else.
At first we took things extremely slow just because we didn't want to hurt my brother and because if things didn't go well, we wanted to keep our friendship.
At first, my brother was not okay with it. But we tried really hard to include him in activities and we still do. I am now closer to my brother than I have been in a really long time.
But maybe too close... I am having a hard time because most nights I will go over to my SO's house and my bro will be there. Which is cool! Sometimes. I don't feel comfortable kissing a whole lot in front of him or any other person for that matter. So I feel like I am missing out on quality time with my boyfriend. Almost like we are in a limbo of moving forward or just keeping things rather casual.
My SO has asked me to move in. But there is an extra bedroom in which he asked my brother to fill. I already told him I won't be living there with the both of them.
I have mentioned this concern with my SO lightly and he agreed about having more quality time together. I also realize that when I entered the relationship that I would be facing this challenge. I am trying really hard to be a good sport especially since my brother is feeling rather low these days, I'm not trying to take away his best friend. I am being very careful in what actions and words I say not to hurt anybody.
But I can't help feeling like I want to move the relationship forward and this is an obstacle to overcome to find balance with the two. I am a rather rational, chillaxed person but this is the first relationship that I want to move forward with.
Basically, anybody have a similar situation and what did you do? | Started dating my brother's best friend for 6 months, sometimes brother sticks around too much. Don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. Best approach? |
t3_4ij1fa | relationships | How can I [20/M] cope with my ex girlfriend [21/F] of 3 weeks losing feelings for me | So everything seemed to be going absolutely fine, we'd been dating for 6 months, boyfriend and girlfriend status since boxing day.
She is a year ahead of me at uni and in her final year so will be graduating before me. She broke up with me and basically said she didn't feel we are on the same level of investment in the relationship and felt like she was no longer 'in it' anymore. In texts she has said 'the feelings just aren't there'.
This is what I'm having a hard time dealing with. I know my own value, everyone seems to love me and I have plenty of friends. I feel it's important I recognise my own value, people enjoy my company as I'm easy going and funny to be around.
But for some reason, this girl who I really did like, the only girl I'd ever shown interest in and actually wanted to be with, no longer wants to be with me. There was nothing 'wrong' in our relationship. We got on amazingly well and every moment we were together was filled with happiness and laughter. And now. even though she considered me the person she was closest to at uni, and very good friends with, wants nothing to do with me. She doesn't want to talk, she's deleted me off facebook, instagram etc... Removed tags on photo's we had together and I just don't understand. More than anything I thought, we were just really good friends and now that friendship is over and I'll never hear from this girl again.
she doesn't feel the same and I just don't understand at all. How is this possible. Literally a month before breaking up she ran up to me on a night out and told me how much she liked me. I just don't understand how her feelings towards me could possibly change so quickly. | struggling to cope with the fact not that we've broken up, but that her feelings changed while mine didn't and I can't for the life of me figure out why this happened |
t3_1z4gjt | relationships | I [21 M] with various friends [19-22 M/F] I feel like I might be too close to them and its not healthy for me. | I recently have accepted I am gay. I dated a girl for a couple years and it didn't work out.
I have a few friends that I'm really close with, mainly straight men.
I think they are all decently attractive and like one of them a bit more a bit in a crush kind if way.
I know it's never going to happen. I just don't know if my current friend behavior is helping me or if its normal for me to be like this.
I'll talk to one of them everyday over text and the others every couple days. I see them all about twice a week maybe three separate or together.
I'll go for dinner, movie, pick them up from work when I'm in the area at night since they don't drive, talk about things happening in our lives.
Compared to other male/male relationships it seems a bit more intimate. But its not romantic or sexual.
They don't care and ask for the same activities and things back to me. This isn't one way.
I just don't know if this along with those feelings are a healthy combination.
I don't know if when I get a boyfriend this can keep up with my friends without it a problem for my partner. I'll have less time, but I mean relationship wise.
I asked on /r/askmen and they seem to think I'm trying to make them my boyfriends or something and its a bit weird.
If I was a girl and my friend was a girl no one would bat an eye. My ex and some of her friends would hug and dress in front of each other but it never seemed weird. Close male friends and its weird.
I just really enjoy being good friends and having important people in my life. I mostly worry about my male friends, but I have one female I do the same with.
Thoughts? | I am gay and have close straight male friends that I fear I am too close to for me to be emotionally healthy despite us getting along great. What do you think? |
t3_22jz5j | relationships | I'm [23/F], and my ex [33/M] moved into the apartment below mine and is moving his new girlfriend in with him. He and I broke up last month. | We dated for a year, lived together for half of it. I really love him, but he's extremely controlling/jealous/angry all the time, and our relationship was very unhealthy because of it. Last month, I went out for a few drinks with friends, and when I came home, he wasn't there. A friend texted me telling me that he showed up at the bar looking for me and seemed pretty mad. He came home shortly after that and started yelling at me immediately. I was pretty drunk and I don't remember a lot of the conversation. I remember him asking me if I even wanted to be with him, and I said, "I'm not sure, I definitely don't want a boyfriend who shows up places looking for me." I think after that he kind of just said, "okay" and walked away.
He slept on the couch that night. I went to work in the morning, and he wasn't there when I came home. He didn't come home all night and I couldn't get a hold of him. He came home the next morning and said he was out all night with a new friend he made. He insisted nothing sexual or romantic was going on. I kicked him out anyway, and he went and signed the lease on the apartment below mine.
People frequently talk to me about his "new friend," and he told a close mutual friend of ours that she's moving into his apartment with him at the end of this month. I don't contact him often, but when I do, he doesn't answer me. I hear a lot of questionable things about this girl and I don't see this situation going well at all. I really like my apartment, though, and I don't want to leave.
Should I just forget about it and find another place to live ASAP? Should I try to talk to him about it? Should I just ignore the whole thing and go on about my business? | Recent ex and his new gf are moving into the apartment below me - should I stay or should I go now? |
t3_2sqw9x | relationships | Me [21 M] with my dad [50 M] Meth, homeless people and a disregard for responsibility. | Where do I begin with my dad? He is often on meth, but can be clean for long durations, as in months. Has a great heart and only wants to help people, but at the same time can also be a manipulative piece of shit. I guess I just need some advice what to do next, currently there is a homeless man sleeping in the room next to mine because my dad has invited him into our home, without our permission or consultation.
My dad has done many things like this before, up to and including using my car for several months on end rather than taking it to it's desired destination like I had asked and upon returning it being completely trashed and obviously used to transport some shady people around.
Should I cut this man out of my life? How so?? I am in a lease in Salt Lake with my mother and sister, we were nieve enough to let him into our home (without knowledge of the owner or him being in the lease)
He has brought us food from food banks, definitely filled our fridges, and been a generally tolerant person, until he pulls this. A few weeks ago I could blatantly tell he had relapsed. He didn't come home that night and had been gone for 2 days after that. I feel like I live in a trailer park but in reality this is a great home.
Any advice would be great. I also want to thank the reddit community you all have helped me so much in the past. | Dad relapses on meth at lease once a year and has a general disregard for responsibility and is manipulative, should I completely remove this man from my life? |
t3_1wxf8i | relationships | Me [20 M] with my friend who is a girl [20 F] To date or to be FWB? Been friends for a year or so. | kay, so I'm going to try to make this short and simple. Here goes..
A few months back, I went through a shitty breakup and some other stressful issues, getting to the point of depression and self-loathing. But at this time, I was chatting with a girl friend (friend who is a girl) and was getting close. I could tell that she had a crush on me and was sometimes coming on to me. So at that time, I kinda started going with it, though I was doubtful if I wanted an actual relationship. Anyways, at one point, we were kissing, but I stopped it and mentioned that I wasn't exactly ready for anything to develop yet, due to the previous reasons, so we didn't do anything. Felt bad for letting her down, but I still think she has a crush on me.
Now it's at this time. I'm sorta lonely, wanting a real relationship with a partner that is almost like me in a way, but unique obviously. So, I look to my girl friend, who likes similar things to me and I've been having thoughts of giving the relationship thing a try with her. But yet, I have a strange feeling that the only reason I want a relationship is because of sex. I just don't want to hurt someone's feelings again (like my previous one, which she put part of the breakup on me for this) and I don't want to commit to a relationship if I don't have 100% on it. I do want to see where it goes, but yet not sure. So the question is if I just want to date her or just see if she'd be willing to go for a FWB situation, if possible? And another question, how do girls even feel about the FWB thing? And I'm not even sure if I want to ask her about FWB. I don't want to do anything to hurt our friendship or hurt anyone. I really don't want to be the asshole who just wants sex. So please help me out. | Want to ask out a girl who has a crush on me, or be FWBs, but really unsure whether to do or not, for various reasons. |
t3_2moyq8 | relationships | I'm [24F] in love with a friend [27M] who has a gf. | I've been friends with this guy for about 1.5 years. We've hung out about once a week for the last year and we also work together so on top of that I see him at work at least 5 days a week. It was totally platonic for a long time, I was new in town and glad to make any new friends I could. I started developing feelings for him but I knew he had a gf and didn't want to get on the way so I've kept everything to myself. At the point now where things have gotten very flirtatious. We talked and both admitted having feelings for each other but he's stated very clearly that he will not leave his gf because of it.
I just don't know what to do. I do NIT want to be a homewrecker and destroy his relationship but at the same time, from what he says and how he acts, he's doesn't seem to be happy with her. I'm not saying he'd be happier with me but it's obviously something that's crossed my mind.
Basically, I know that he won't leave her and I know that he's no good for me and I want to stop talking to him (we text pretty much all day every day) and hanging out with him but it's too hard. I can't help myself. I feel like I have no control. I can't quit my job and he's the boss so he's not going anywhere.. Having to see him every day is making it impossible to get over him.
What can I do to stifle these feelings and get on with my life? This is becoming physically painful.. Having to be around him but not with him.. Having to listen to him talk about his gf.. I don't want to do it anymore. I want control of my thoughts and my life back... | in love with a guy who claims to have feelings for me but won't leave his gf. Need help understabding the situation and moving on... |
t3_327njs | relationship_advice | [21/f] My boyfriend [22/m] is against cussing, drinking, and tattoos...but I'm not. | My boyfriend has had traumatic experiences with cussing and drinking. When he was in middle school, he played football. His coaches would yell cuss words at him along with other insults about his weight. This has caused him to resent cussing. As for alcohol, he and his family were hit by a drunk driver when he was a child. He also watched his brother become an alcoholic and throw his life away. Tattoos are just a matter of his personal preference.
I am not allowed to do any of these.
I grew up in a home in which cussing was just a part of everyday language. I used it around my parents because it was accepted. Ive suggested I simply not cuss when im around him so he doesnt have to hear it but he wont even let me do that.
Because I have never had a traumatic experience with alcohol, I see no reason that a single drink at dinner would be wrong.
All the women in my immediate family (3 not including me) have at least one tattoo of the birthday of my littler sister who died in 2009. This is something I want and believe is important.
But I can't do any of it because it's not what he finds attractive.
I understand love requires sacrifice but can we not compromise? Or should I just be happy to give up 3 things I want the freedom to do? | My boyfriend won't let me cuss, drink, or get a tattoo even though I want all of these things. Should I demand we compromise somewhere or be happy I can make the sacrifice? |
t3_tiqj5 | AskReddit | Men and women of Reddit: would you forgive your SO if they hit you? | Throwaway account.
I have a question.
So last night my fiance of 4 years and I went out and got fairly drunk. We came home and started fighting about the stupidest things. I was being a bitch, and he was being a jerk. We don't usually fight, but for some reason we were just going off on each other last night.
Well, I ended up saying something mean. Something about him being a white trash redneck- and he flipped his shit. The instant it came out of my mouth he cocked his hand back and just slapped me across the entire side of my face.
Instantly he regret it, and profusely apologized. I ran into the bedroom and locked the door. He spent about a half hour outside the door knocking on it and apologizing. I could tell by his voice he was crying. I ended up passing out on the bed, and he slept on the couch.
When I woke up this morning he had already left for work, and he left me a long note telling me how much he loves me, and how sorry he is. He mentioned how he feels like a piece of shit, yada yada.
So my question is, would you forgive your SO if they hit you and were apologizing for it? I don't want to throw away a relationship because he made one mistake. I know he feels bad, and nothing like this has ever happened before. We were both drunk, and we were both being assholes to each other. | Got into a stupid, drunken fight with fiance last night. He slapped me. He feels really bad. Would you forgive your SO if they hit you and they felt bad? |
t3_3fmr26 | tifu | TIFU by blaming my dog for a kid's poo at my wedding | I love my dog, Penny. So much so that she was in my actual wedding party. At the venue, I watched her like a hawk to make sure she didn't leave any brown land mines for the guests to step in. Much to my surprise, my mom and I were approached (in front of many other guests) by my cousin and her small child. She was outraged that her child had stepped in "dog" poo. She said it was DISGUSTING; and my mom and I were absolutely MORTIFIED and embarrassed. We apologized over and over, we even offered to buy the child new shoes.
Later that night, the best man came over, stating he had a HILARIOUS story. While stepping away to take a phone call, he came across a small child, alone, pooping in the bushes. Beginning to put two and two together, I asked him to point out the do-do-doer. Well wouldn't you know, it was the same kid that had stepped in "Penny's" poo. Turns out, the parent wasn't watching the kid, she snuck off for a mid-nuptial dump, and stepped in it.
Needless to say, Penny's good name has been cleared. | Got married, guest's kid stepped in poop. She blamed my dog, turns out the kid took a crap in the bushes and then stepped in it. Dog's name cleared. |
t3_3x3zme | relationships | Me [26 M] with my soon to be mother in law [56 F], how can I hang out with her ex-husband without making her upset? | Hey guys, so I recently got engaged to my girlfriend [26 F] and we're both pretty stoked, my family lives close by to where we do and her family lives a few states away, so for this upcoming Christmas holiday we're flying over to spend some time with her family. Since she lives so far away she doesn't really get a chance to see them very often, this will be the first Christmas in a few years that she'll spend with her parents/ two brothers.
The issue is, her parents got a pretty rough divorce back in 2011, the husband was having an affair with a co-worker and it was a pretty painful/ upsetting time for everyone. However, they worked it out pretty well, my fiance's siblings are all adult aged, so they managed to split the house in half, divide their assets, and essentially no longer have an contact with each other. The husband is still with the homewrecker and the wife is dating a lot of different people. On paper, it seems like they're moving on with their lives after this event.
My fiance understandably wants to spend time with her father while she's in town. To be fair, he still loves his kids and would like to see them whenever he can, but the issue is that my fiance's mom is always... very passive aggressive and upset every time we want to see him. We are planning on spending maybe 80% of the time visiting with her, and just a little bit of time with him. I don't think it's right of her to bar my fiance from seeing her dad if she wants to, but she's so filled with residual anger/ hate form him, saying stuff like how he betrayed his entire family and wasted her life (although there may be some truth to that, they were married for nearly 30 years.)
I'm not sure how to handle this situation, I'm afraid that when we fly there it'll just be really awkward and uncomfortable for everyone. She's obviously still not gotten over her divorce despite dating again/ saying she's totally over it. Both my fiance and myself don't really know what to do. How do I broach the subject without overstepping my boundaries? | Visiting fiance's family over holidays, mother in law doesn't like fiance seeing her dad (divorced), what do? |
t3_1b45ph | relationships | F (20) wonders what the right amount of 'waiting' is for (M22) | I (f20) have been with my boyfriend (f22) for two and a half years, and we moved into a house together a couple of months ago.
I am wondering how long I should wait for things to improve. I have talked to him about how things need to change, which he agrees with, yet nothing ever seems to happen. We barely talk at home it seems, and when we do it's about boring, mundane things. We used to talk and laugh all the time, and I don't know what has happened. He has told me recently that he is depressed, and I'm trying to be there while he goes through it.
It just feels like he never does the little things he used to do for me. I was really sick the other day and he complained about getting me medicine. As I'm typing this I kind of feel like an idiot for putting up with it. What can I do to get things back on track? | It feels like things have been 'off' for awhile. How can I fix it or how long do I wait for him to start trying? |
t3_2uby08 | relationships | I [24 F] am having trouble dealing with my FWB [29 M] now that we no longer hook up. | I met a guy a few months back through a co-worker (note: the guy doesn't work with me, just our mutual friend). We started hooking up shortly after, and were both up front about our lack of interest in a relationship. His fiance left him last year and he still hasn't recovered, and the last guy I dated just treated me so awfully that I have no interest in dating at the moment.
We'd hook up on and off, as it was essentially an unspoken fact that we were both seeing other people and keeping our options open. Within the past month he's started being weird around me and super distant, but he goes through wacky emotional phases (especially around certain dates that pertain to his ex-fiance), so I disregarded it. Then one night I drunk texted him asking if he wanted to come over, and he said no. Since then, I've probably said 5 words to him and have basically been avoiding his presence because I'm tired of getting dragged around.
But here's the problem. Although I admit that for a while I did kind of cozy up to the idea of dating him, I have no issues with that now. I can recognize warning signs with some of his actions and I have no interest in being with someone who is going to make me feel vulnerable all the time. However, what I *can't* get over is him physically. We had, without a doubt, the best physical chemistry and compatibility out of everyone I've ever been with. So I'm constantly struggling because I know this is a door that needs to close, and I know other guys will come around, but things were so hot between us and instantly clicked -- and I still find myself craving him for that reason alone.
I know this isn't desperation speaking. I've been out with multiple guys since things started to fizzle, so I know it's not just me missing male attention. I really just can't cope with the idea of giving up the best lay I've ever had...and part of me wants to try and rev things up again for that reason. It's like I've been spoiled and I can't give up the luxury quite yet.
Anyone else been through this situation? Any advice? | Things have fizzled out with my hookup buddy. Although I had no problems getting over him emotionally, I can't stop thinking about our physical connection. |
t3_4q69bb | tifu | TIFU by buying a junior chicken from McDonald | Ok, as far as i remember this happened about a year ago. I just had my math exam in the morning so i had my dad pick me up becausr i had no idea how the buses worked. We decided to stop at a Walmart to get some stuff. There was a McDonald's in the Walmart sini decided to get a burger. I asked my dad for $2 but he didn't have change so he gave me a $50 note. I decide to get it and put the money in my pocket. So i go to my dad as he was checking out the stuff he got. I reach in my pocket and nothing. Fast forward i searched everywhere and being too stupid i even asked at the MacDonald if they saw the money. Ofcourse they "didn't". So i broke the news to my dad and basically got shit from my family and felt guilty for the whole day. | dad gave me $50 dollars to get a $2 burger. I lost the $48 dollars i got back. Got shit from my family and felt guilty the whole day |
t3_2eezm5 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my manfriend [23 M] 2 mo., I got him flowers and he let them die. | Been dating real slow with a new guy. We are both out of relationships recently. I got him flowers the other day. I left them by his front door. He thanked me kindly for them. I came over a couple of days later and they were not out of the wrapper or in a vase; instead they were shriveled and dead on a desk.
Maybe he just wasn't paying attention, or maybe he doesn't like flowers. Regardless, I felt rejected somehow. Is this a guy thing? A purposeful action to send me a message? Am I just reading into it? | Guy I've been seeing didn't take care of flowers I got him. I feel rejected. Am I weird or is what he did inconsiderate or a sign that he isn't that into me? |
t3_3qo9k8 | jobs | Question to people who are recruiters (or HR) about job listings | So I've been job searching for some time now (little over a year), and have gotten a few interviews that I've obviously not gotten the job. Two jobs in particular I thought I was very much qualified for I did not get, despite going through the whole interview process. Both of these job postings are still listed in the careers sections of their respective companies. My question to recruiters is **do you ever have candidates submit applications again to a job posting despite them going unsuccessfully through the job process previously**? **And do you consider them again?**
For one job in particular, I went through the phone screening and met with both hiring managers as well as the VP and thought things went well. Afterwords, I sent a thank you follow up to everyone involved but never heard back. The posting is still there and I definitely want to apply again. **If any of you job searchers have gone through this and applied again, please let me know your experiences and if you got another interview.** Thanks! | interviewed for job posting and did not get the job, posting still up after many months, wondering if I should apply again. |
t3_3i7q6p | legaladvice | [Boston, MA] a man at an off-leash dog park tried to beat my dog with a lacrosse stick. | I know this probably sounds stupid in comparison to the stories you guys hear on this sub, but I'm still really shaken up and want to make sure I do the right thing, if there's anything to be done at all.
This crazy man (let's call him CM) has a bit of a reputation for being a loose canon when it comes to other peoples' dogs at the dog park. He'll basically blow up any dog that plays "too rough" with his dog, which to him means any play at all that involves physical contact. Anyone who's seen animals at play can imagine why this is ridiculous. But, I digress.
Since the park is off leash, and since CM's dog (Hugo) is very sweet and playful, my dog (Reilly) came up to Hugo to initiate play. He's done this before, Reilly and Hugo play well together actually, but the guy usually just yells at/grabs Hugo (his own dog) and removes him.
This time, I wasn't in arm's reach to get Reilly out of the line of fire quickly enough, and the guy lost it. He was screaming and grabbing at Reilly trying to hit him, and then began using the lacrosse stick he was holding to try and beat him. I managed to grab Reilly before he could actually get hurt (or hurt the guy...Reilly is not by any means aggressive with people but any dog can bite when fearful).
I was really, really shaken up. The guy left the park, and I called the police to ask if I could report it, and then realized how stupid I sounded since I didn't have any of the guy's information but his dog's name. There was nothing they could do of course. | no one got hurt, but a crazy dude assaulted my dog with the intent to at the very least do bodily harm. |
t3_2sxitm | relationships | Me [F28] found out my boyfriend [M36] of one year is addicted to sexting other women | So about me. I have been cheated big time in my previous relationships, which has made me really strict about infidelity. It's a no-go. My previous relationship of seven years ended two years ago, and I have been together for a year with this guy. He has a history of short relationships only.
My boyfriend is really private when it comes to his phone and laptop, which in my previous relationships, I have found to be a really strong indicator of the fact that there might have something to hide. With this background when a few months ago, he forgot to lock his phone (for probably the first time ever) I had to take a look. Save the judgement, I know I did wrong.
I found that he had been using Kik quite frequently, with multiple women, talking dirty and exchanging nudes. I felt the same anxiety that I've experienced before when finding out about my (ex) partners' infidelity. I could not just act like everything was ok, so I had to tell him what I knew. He got really angry and was yelling at me for going through his phone. After hours of accusing me of being highly unreliable he said that sexting with these girls meant nothing and if it bothered me, he would stop.
Well, this weekend I was searching for furniture pics on our iPad, and found new nude pics (plenty of them!) in his Dropbox that apparently was linked to our iPad. So he has been taking a lot of pics of himself and I know they are new, since they've been taken in our bathroom that was renovated only 3-4 weeks ago. Meanwhile, we barely have sex, because he's always too tired/stressed/younameit. And no, I'm not ugly.
What should I do? It is obvious that he is addicted to this thing, and will not stop no matter what. I cannot confront him again, because he (accurately) thinks I'm too jealous and have crossed a line with snooping already the first time. Even if he never meets these girls in real life, I still think this is cheating in some way and he should rather use his little sexual energy to be with me. | Boyfriend addicted to sharing pics of his wang and talking dirty online, yet "too tired" to have sex. |
t3_3fu8ig | relationships | Undecided on whether I [22 F] should come clean with my SO [26 M] about my flings whilst we were broken up | So my boyfriend and I recently got back together after being broken up for a few months. It's not the first time he's broken up with me.
My boyfriend also never tried to contact me during this breakup period, so I took it as official and started seeing new people.
I met guys off dating apps and went out with and slept with a few of them over a period of a few months (One after another. Never going out with two people at one time) but there seemed to be a lack of chemistry.
My boyfriend recently apologised and I took him back. A part of me feels like I should I tell him about the few people I dated and slept with but a part of me feels like telling him will ruin whatever peace we now have.
Is it better to start a fresh and leave the past where it lies? | Broke up - then got back together with my SO after a few months, do i need to tell him about sleeping with someone during the break up period? |
t3_194sgr | GetMotivated | From fail to win and back to fail, my story inside. | I had been living off of tutoring people in English for 3 years, my life was going nowhere and I was certain to never make it in life. After sending out CV's to numerous job boards, and asking friends for references, I was surprised to be offered an interview via a social networking service. I took up the invitation and appeared (well dressed) for an interview. The interview lasted only about 10 minutes. Even though I had had professional experience (at least 12 months in a graphic design role) I was offered an internship (that paid $158 per month!). Seeing no other options I decided to grab this "opportunity". I spent 3 months working my ass off creating flash animations, banners, and whatever other junk an ad campaign requires. Against all odds, I ended up being hired and given the tidy sum of $790 a month (for full-time work).I spent the next 6 months working at times intensivley at other times not at all do to a lack of work. On a Friday morning, my boss (just 6 years my senior) and head of the entire department) told me that he had to force my resignation. I was given a month to find a new job, and to make matters even better, he told me that my last 3 weeks would be off-site so that I'd be able to look for my next gig. So that was a few days ago, and now I'm sending out CV's contacting friends, and updating my Linkedin profile. The problem is I start worrying about how similar this feels to my initial job search which lasted from June 2009 until I found this job. I'm trying to stay positive, but I'm worried that with the current economic environment and my lack of a powerful portfolio I'm just going to end up going back to some day-to-day job to make ends meet.
What should I do? | Finished an expensive college of design, moved to a foreign country, taught English for 3 years while looking for work, finally found a job in my field, got forced to resign after working just 9 months. |
t3_2adymj | relationships | I [20F] am absolutely disgusted by my "stepbrother" [16M] | For clarification, stepbrother is in quotes because he's my mom's boyfriend's son. There really needs to be a word for that, because he's not my sibling and thank goodness he isn't.
So, I don't know if this is a common trend for sixteen-year-old boys, but he's just gross. I'll call him David. David's parents are divorced and they have joint custody of their two kids, David and his younger sister [12F]. Whenever they visit our house (mom and her boyfriend live together), I have to brace myself for whatever nasty thing he's gonna do.
Usually, he doesn't shower. This could be for the weekend or however long they're here, sometimes up to a week. This leads to a weird smell following him everywhere, which I can only describe as a mix of sweat, masturbation, and eau de high school wrestling mats.
He disappears into the (shared) bathroom for very long periods of time with his phone and some ear buds at least twice a day. There are often pubes on the toilet seat after these mysterious bathroom sessions. He thinks he's fooling us all by saying it's a stomach ache, but we're not idiots.
Along with the gross things, he has this obsession with iFunny and games on his phone which usually involve shooting guns, beating up stick figures, and "making it rain."
I'm twelve kinds of done with this kid. Can anyone offer advice on what to do, whether it's things to say or do or anything else? I know most teenage boys go through this stage and I gotta deal with it, but it's become too much. | my 16 year old "stepbrother" has gone past the realm of usual gross teenage boy things to seriously disgusting and annoying transgressions to the people around him. send help. |
t3_1a1tao | relationships | Should I [25F] tell my bf [24M] that I cheated on my ex [30M] w/ him when we first started dating? | My current boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. We are happy as can be and I am ridiculously in love with this man and definitely see myself marrying him in the future. We have an extremely open, honest relationship and tell each other everything. Almost everything, at least. When I was dating my last boyfriend several years ago, I met my current boyfriend and ended up cheating on my ex with him. I never told him that I was dating someone else at the time we started seeing each other. He knows that I was dating someone else when we met, but it wasn't until a few months later when things started to happen between us. I was still with my ex at the time, and never said anything about it to my current bf. I've talked with my current boyfriend about my ex and he knows what a total d-bag the other guy was (which is why I did it and didn't really feel bad at the time). There was probably a month or two over overlap before I broke things off with my ex. I feel like I should tell my bf, because we have such an honest relationship in every other aspect. I have such a huge amount of love and respect for him I don't want to keep this from him forever. Is it an awful idea to tell him? I'm really worried he will lose all respect for me. | Should I tell my boyfriend of 2 years that I cheated on my ex with him when we first started dating? Besides that, our relationship has been 100% open and honest. |
t3_205jfp | needadvice | Reddit, I need some career advice. I want your Opinion? | Hi Reddit,
This is a throw-away as i don't want to risk an co-workers finding the real me.
I work as a developer for a company that uses a specific piece of software
in this past year, during a key project, a certain member of the management team 'intimidated' me - he would tell me to shut up during phone calls with the client, wouldn't really talk to me and in the end it made the whole project very difficult for me work on. needless to say the project failed, we had a management rearrangement - he was dropped, i stayed on with someone else and we saved it - client was happy in the end.
My confidence and my work-rate has suffered though, I've since became depressed and I'm now tearful most of the time. I'm finding it hard to move on from this.
During all this - the company hierarchy changed (worldwide including the local office i work from) - so now I feel 'lost' inside the complete company hierarchy - although I understand that the company is rearranging the inner-workings, I generally don't know where I 'fit' in with all this anymore - i'm one of the most experienced with the software but yet I feel I don't have a 'place' so to speak in the overall plans.
People have tried to help me - but i have an appraisal meeting coming up next week and i'm worried about it, I have a CV written already and a portfilio website ready to go encase it doesn't go well.
I need advice Reddit -
Do i stick it out and work with my current empolyer to get my confidence back? OR Do i go get another job (if i do, i won't be using the specific software but i do have transferable skills) ?
Thanks for reading. | Bad project - lost confidence, depressed - company reshaping - feel 'lost' inside it - do i stay or do i go? |
t3_11yzm0 | relationships | In love with a [19f], I am [21m], but her parents don't like that I'm atheist and my logical side is arguing with the emotional. Help please? | I have been going out with a super sweet girl for a little over 5 months now, and while my logical and emotional sides have been at odds over her, things have started to turn towards the logical. For a little bit of back-story, this girl is quite sheltered, and was brought up in a very Christian household (I.E. creationist, anti-evolutionary). Not that I have a problem with that, as an atheist it'd be cool to be proven wrong, and we have had discussions over her creationism, and she's accepted that evolution may be a possibility. But I digress.
About a week ago she finally tells me that one of my now ex-friends, and coworker has been flirting with her for the past couple months, and she had never reciprocated, but he was now telling her lies that I said at work about wanting to end our relationship, and was, and I quote "shocked that he would lie to me just to have sex." Now this set off another argument about how she was so freaked out someone would only want to have sex with her, and I was taking the position of yes, that's how the world works people are awful. Anyway, that lead to more discussion and I come to find out her parents don't approve of my being an atheist, even though I've agreed that if we were to have children at some point the would be taught both of their parents positions. I've always had a problem with how different we are, and that we don't have too much in common. I do love her dearly and would be happy to spend the rest of my life with her, but I just don't know if I can handle being in a family or a relationship with such different views and immediate disapproval, or if I'm just being a pussy and trying to find a way out. Sorry this is so long | Girlfriend's parents disapprove of my atheism, and this has set off my logical side fighting my emotional at full force. What can I do? |
t3_3fwkgk | relationships | The girl I was seeing [21F] and I [21M] haven't spoken in some time. We are going back to school in a few weeks and I am not sure how to proceed. | I don't think there is a right answer here because it is a complicated situation. I was never dating this girl but we were on and off for a few months, then we were on, and then we got pretty intimate, but decided not to officially date because she was abroad mid Feb-late May. She came back and we were very close again, but we ended up across the country over the summer. We agreed to take a break, but continued to talk every day because of how close we are. For the first half of the summer, I was talking with and going home with other girls (when super drunk,) but it made me feel shitty and just miss her. I fully intended to date her come fall. Midway through summer she told me she met a guy, but didn't want to take it past the summer, it was just a fling. But it hurt too much to me. She met this guy after like 2 week and started hanging out with him. Physically being something and emotionally being with someone are in two different ballparks in my opinion. Sex is sex but establishing a mutual trust and caring for each other is different. I told her i didn't want to talk to her for a while, and deleted her number so to not be tempted to text her. I ended up meeting a girl here and have been casually going out with her, and she has helped me to "move on."
Here is where my issue comes in - this new girl is just a summer fling. I leave in a few days and have 0 intention of carrying it forward. I don't know how to approach the girl i had been seeing, or if she is still talking to this other guy, or what. I want to handle this in a mature way, because we were both distanced for a while. i am not even sure i want to get back together (or if she wants to.) Christ i don't even have her number to text her.
Any level-headed advice would be appreciated | a girl and i have been on break and have seen other people. We will be reunited for the first time in months and i dont know how to proceed |
t3_32i2ay | relationships | I [20m] am moving in with my [20f] girlfriend. We have been together for 5 years nearly perfect relationship, looking for tips, advice, and suggestions to make it seamless and a fun experience for both of us. | Okay so we are both 20 and have been dating for a little over 5 years now pretty much a perfect relationship. Her and I are seriously a perfect match since we first met in HS have the exact same goals in life, interests, we are fully devoted to each other and have long term plans to be together. Voted favorite High school sweet hearts and all that jazz.
Little background:
I moved out to Southern California 2 years ago to attend school, she went to school back home where we are both from (AZ) and lived at home the whole time. We have been doing the long distance thing since (took a 3 month break to just enjoy ourselves), anyways here we are she just finished her associates degree and is moving down to Cali to start her new life so we can be closer to each other. She has a job already out here so finances are not an issue with either of us. We are also both very active and into being happy and healthy!
For 3 months she is going to live with some other girls in our college area so she can get used to living on her own and also we think it's a great way for her to meet lots of new people and make some new friends (other than just the friends I already have).
After these 3 months we will move in together with one other friend [20f] of ours (she also has a long term BF who is my best friend). I am not worried about our relationship or compatibility with anyone we have all extensively discussed and thought about everything over and over.
I am just looking for any tips, tricks, advice, or suggestions you all might have who are experienced so we can have the house hold that's exciting, fun, and happy for everyone! | Girlfriend of 5 years and I moving in together with our other friend [20f] all for the first time living together looking for tips and tricks to keep it a fun and memorable experience for everyone! |
t3_142ywl | relationship_advice | Me[27/m] and my girlfriend [29/f] finally moved in together after 5 years together. Only one problem: I think I want to break up with her. | My girlfriend and I met met when we were 22 and 24, respectively. She is my 2nd long term g/f and I am her 2nd long term boyfriend. I met her right before I transferred to University and - although we have experienced some rough patches - we have managed to stay together. However, more and more I feel the urge to experience other things (I.e. have sex with other girls). I have only been with 3 girls in my entire life, and being a moderately attractive, successful professional male, I get lots of advances from other women that I must turn down. I have never lived the bachelor life and it eats at me every day. However, after 5 years, I feel like I owe my girlfriend too much to break up with her. She wants to get engaged in the next year (I don't) and we are getting to the point of no return. Worst of all, I often feel as if she's 'not the one.' I hate feeling resentment towards her for keeping from doing some of the things in life that I want to do. After 5 years though, how can I possibly turn away now when are lives are so closely intertwined? | older gf and I just moved in together. she wants to get married and have kids. I don't. I am starting to resent her for having taken away my 'bachelor' years. |
t3_2vydbr | tifu | TIFU by wanting some water. | This literally happened less than 5 minutes ago so excuse my errors or grammar as I am a little freaked out. So a little back story my mom has been in a marriage for the past 10 years that was very "Dry" in the physical department of love, and recently ended it with that person (I hated the guy so I was rather happy about this). It's been about a month since then and she has been expressing that she really wanted to get back into the "Dating scene". So Valentines day rolls around and one of her long time friends comes over who I have known for about half my life (I'm 18) so I thought nothing of it, just two friends hanging out having a good dinner with me and my sister.
So after dinner I decided to return to my bat cave where I spend most of my time and play some Mass Effect 3 because I wanted to play through the campaign on my 218th play threw and got a little thirsty and was going to go fill up my water bottle at the fridge ( This is where it happends ) as I'm sitting there getting ready to leave my room I think of the idea maby something is happening out there and I don't wanna be put in that situation. So I wait about 15 minutes and say screw it I'm thirsty and leave my room to go fill up my water bottle while I'm half way to the fridge I see them doin' the nasty on the couch and just NOPE out as fast and silently as I could back to my room where I am now typing this still thirsty and little scar'd. | I wanted to fill up my water bottle and saw my mommy and her friend doin' the nasty on the couch |
t3_3uxxui | relationships | I [20 M] am still friends with my ex [18 F] of a couple months. We still do everything we did before the break up, is this healthy? Am I being "used"? | My ex-girlfriend [18 F] and I [20 M] just broke up a week ago. We were together for a little less than 2 months before breaking up. We started being a gf/bf full on relationship the first day we met in person. Since then we moved super fast, had sex fairly early on in the relationship, and spent pretty much ALL the time together (when we could, she lives an hour away) and when we couldn't we spent a texted and called each other constantly. Anyways, a day before thanksgiving we broke up. Now it feels like even though the relationship ended we still do everything we did before the relationship ended. We text each other a lot, we still sext once and a while, she calls me once a day so she can sleep. I don't mind, shes fucking awesome, down to earth, fun to talk to, and treats me VERY well. Better than anyone else has before. Now when we broke up we both agreed that we would stay best friends and everything. She also said she is open to being in a relationship again after some time has passed and she has had time to deal with her depression and know what she wants from her life/our relationship. I really don't want to ditch her because I still love what we have right now but it truly feels like we are still in a relationship but I just don't know if this is healthy or if I am being used. Any ideas? | We broke up but we are still doing everything we did when we were in a relationship. Is this healthy? Am I being used? |
t3_2h8cxj | relationships | Me [25F] with my coworker [40sF] I came across really insensitive, what can I do? | I feel like a total asshole, the other day I asked my coworker how she was and she said she wasn't doing that great. She didn't elaborate so I thought it was the usual thing we often talk about - we both have chronic illnesses and we discuss how we are doing.
I said something about how I wasn't doing great either but I figured most people didn't want to hear the whole story. (Emphasis on this part because I think I discouraged her from saying much more, I didn't mean to say that I didn't want to hear it but it may have come across that way.) She didn't say very much and I went off on a boring spiel about my health.
A few days later I find out that her husband had a heart attack and I realise she wasn't talking about her health but about his. He is still alive but I feel like I was really insensitive to her, ranting about my own problems and assuming I knew what she was referring to.
I feel horrible. What do I do now? Act like the incident didn't happen? She hasn't told me herself so should I act like I don't know about her husband? How can I be more sensitive in the future? Should I just not talk about this kind of thing at work? | I came across really insensive to my coworker and I don't know what to do now or how to avoid similar faux-pas in the future |
t3_qsk3x | AskReddit | Main level kitchen sink blew up, water damage on the main floor and in the basement, parents are fighting on whether to call the contractors who just renovated our basement or to call insurance. Please HELP with this. | Pipes under the kitchen sink blew up, hot water everywhere, ended up leaking into our recently developed basement through the pot lights and air ducts. Parents are fighting on whether to call the contractors that just renovated the basement (dad) or to call insurance (mom). Right now, I can't tell you the damage done but there are water marks on the ceiling. I'm not sure what it looks like between the floor on the main level and the ceiling in the basement, but I'm sure there's work to be done. Either way, plumbers, insurance workers, people of reddit, please HELP solve this debate before I lose my mind listening to them argue. | plumbing failed; water damage can't be detailed yet; heated debate on whether to call insurance or local contractors that renovated our basement. HELP |
t3_18vicu | relationships | How do I break up with live-in boyfriend of 7 years? | We have been dating since I was 14 and he was 16. We have been living together for a little over a year. I love him, and always will, but am no longer "in love" with him.
I have graduated from college and want to move across country. I live in a state with very poor economic or job prospects in my field and also his field. However, he is some what lazy when it comes to school and still has two more years left. He had the option to transfer schools out west to a better college that would open up a lot of opportunities but turned it down because he wasn't ready.
He tells me he might want to get married somewhere down the road...when he's about 30. (We would have been dating for 16 years by then.)
His family hates me. It's a racial thing, (I'm white) and having a close family in law would be very important to me.
I found out he still has not told his mother we live together. They just never talk about things and she has never came over. He told her I lived with my parents still.
I just don't know how to proceed. I know I've stayed this long because he's all I've ever known, but being with him is making me lazier and unhappy. I also want to be single and on my own. I want to have the option to do whatever I want.
I love him and don't want to break his heart but need to do what's best for me.
Any advice out there?
Also, how much money would I have to make a week to be able to afford $700 rent a month on my own. (We currently split all the bills) I figured $500 a week and I can do it. Currently I'm a waitress.
Also, we are in a month to month lease.
I don't have any family that can help me financially or any place for me to stay. | Been dating 7 years, live together for a little over one. Need to be free and need to break it off without crushing him. Also, figure out how to afford to completely live on my own. |
t3_2pgnbe | relationships | How do I know if she likes me? Should I go for her? | So a few months ago, I was introduced to this girl by my friend. Let's call her Susan. So Susan is a really sweet girl, she's pretty, smart, and she's got loads of people wanting to date her. I don't know if she's flirty or what, she started flirting with me a few days after we first met. You know, she would look at me me and tell me that I look really cute randomly. Sometimes, she would also send me her selfies and stuffs, talking about how her life will be 10 years later, you know, married with me and blah blah blah. She would also ask me if she's my type of girl that I like. She even told her friends that I am her new boyfriend. However, later I found out that she also does this to some other guy friends of her. Initially, I was relieved because I'm a stupid when it comes to dealing with these relationship problems, but then I found out that I had fallen in love with her after all these months. So I also started to flirt with her a little bit. But sadly, I've been receiving somehow some mixed signals from her, she calls me boy or brother sometimes when she flirts. For instance, she would say things like "come boy, let sis bring you out for dinner today" or "bro, you're do cute", but sometimes she calls me her "dear". Today, we still talk everyday, we still go out. We're in a gang right, so it's naturally that we've a WhatsApp group so that we can chat in a group, you know, for some tea or what sometimes. Despite her being the admin, she never added me into the group, I feel like she doesn't like me around with her female friends. What should I do? Does she like me? Any advice would be great! I'm really confused now...
We're both 20 years old... | Met a girl few months back, she flirts with me, when I flirt back, mix signal, what do I do? |
t3_3n24wm | relationships | Me [18 M] with my ex-girlfriend [18 F] half a year, she broke up with me on weird terms | She and I had a normal-ish day. She was a little quiet and then said "John? I love you alright?" and then went into detail about how while I was the best person she's ever dated, she felt like we had to end our relationship. I was tied to her ex bf, who was my best friend for a while, and a group of people she has since left yet still misses. She said she wanted to focus on her mental health, her school work, and her hobbies. She said we barely see each other anymore. I tried offering a few propositions: seeing her more during the week, cutting ties to the people. Yet, she said no. She told me the first one always hurts, and it was definitely the first significant relationship for me.
Later, she said "i will talk to you tomorrow and then we need a month of separation. I really want to be your friend, and we have an amazing foundation to work off of eventually." I talked to her a few hours ago, and she let me ask questions. She said she didn't want to date me again, but she said the possibility was open maybe, but not likely at all. I am pretty hurt, being honest. She said I was perfect and an amazing person, but I don't know what to believe. | gf broke up with me, gives a month of separation but wants to be friends eventually. says it was because of personal reasons and not because of me or my character. |
t3_29zu76 | relationships | Me [30/F] with my ___ [32/F] 6 months . . I fucked up by being a drunken fool | Here's us: Great new relationship, some issues with trust and expectations lingering from older relationship wounds, but everything is going well. We're totally in love, we have great sex and we're becoming amazing friends as well as caring girlfriends after meeting online.
Here's the issue: My shit drunken behavior this past weekend.
I'm so embarrassed to even type this out, but I am sitting here in agony unable to get over my stupid shit.
We went to visit another city to go to a friend's performance, and I basically got too drunk and was handsy with other girls, flirty and . . . jesus christ . . . took my top off with another friend to "compare boobs." Nothing happened physically, other than me trying to fuck my bewildered gf in front of our sleeping friends. She put me to bed and as we were kissing goodnight (I was beyond blacked out at this point. She actually told me this) called her my friend's name. I am so ashamed right now. We've talked and cried and I apologized, but as our relationship is rather new and she has major trust issues from previous infidelities in other relationships, I can't stop agonizing over my shitty decision-making. I have already known that I can't drink hard alcohol for some time now (it makes me act crazy) and I knew I shouldn't have been drinking because I had pulled an all-nighter the previous evening.
I don't really have a question - I am just sitting here ashamed and mortified. To top it off, she had a good friend of her's meet up with us, and this is how I was introduced to her. I'm 30 years old. I know better. I'm seriously worried I've seismically fucked things up, even as we work to patch up our hurt feelings.
Any advice going forward would be welcome. | Got way too drunk out with new girlfriend, wondering if I fucked up a good thing and ruined her opinion of me, our future. |
t3_42p8hu | tifu | TIFU by not pushing a button | This just happened about half an hour ago.
I left my apartment in the early afternoon on sunday for a weekly meet up with my friends in an adjacent city. When I returned home, I went straight to bed, exhausted at midnight.
The following afternoon, I woke up (yes I slept until 1) and went about as normal. At about 3 i started to get hungry, so I went and checked my fridge. At first I was just puzzled, because the light bulb didn't come on. I pushed the switch several times, but nothing happened. Then I noticed there was no sound. And then I noticed that everything in the fridge was barely cold. I opened the freezer, and most of my meat had thawed, but was still pretty cold. So I started checking all the other appliances, and my entire kitchen would not turn on. Breaker switches were all fine, so I was stumped.I freaked out and called my landlord, who called an electrician. The electrician would not be able to come out for 2 full days!
This is where I made fuck up #1. Instead of immediately going to the store and getting an extension cord to plug the fridge into a different outlet, I waited until about an hour ago. I ran to the store, and ran back home, hoping i could save some of my freezer food.
This is where the big FU happens. I unplug my fridge, and unplug the surge protector that had my microwave and toaster oven. The fridge cord won't reach the surge protector, and the stuff plugged in to the surge protector prevent me from reaching the fridge. I go to plug the thing back in, and notice a red button that says "RESET". I pushed the button. And everything turned back on. I am an idiot, and now I have no food. | Power in my kitchen went out, left food in the fridge for 3 days without cooling because i didn't reset the breaker in the outlet. |
t3_2j6h6x | dating_advice | What's the best way to handle dating someone who just got out of a relationship? I'm [20M] she's [18F] | We met on a dating website. In her profile it mentioned she just got out of a relationship and isn't sure if she's ready to date (at this point the implications of that line hadn't yet registered for me). We were both doing similar lines of research, so we struck up a conversation which led to deciding to meet up for coffee.
We talked for a while, and clicked really well. I've never so immediately taken to someone. She was so passionate about all the things I'm passionate about, and we both got so excited talking about the world, and math, and life. I've always wanted someone who I could talk to about the stuff that fascinates me, and know they'd be just as fascinated listening. It's probably dangerous to build someone up so much after the first date, but Christ, I honestly felt like I could marry her right there.
We agreed to meet again, and later decided on a time. But, I'm just realizing, it might not be a date. I avoided the term asking her out for the sake of making it more casual and less awkward. She friended me on facebook after the 'date', and it shows that she broke up two weeks ago, and that the relationship was about **4 years long**.
So now what? I was already a bit worried about her losing interest because I always initiate the conversations over text. But now I'm worried, am I even on her radar? Was I just her impulse to try and get over someone else? I figured people didn't use dating websites to actually make 'just friends' but maybe she was- maybe she doesn't consider these dates.
So, /r/dating_advice, how should I proceed?
* Should I back off? Text less and not treat the meeting as a date?
* Can I be direct? Ask her what she's looking for, and if she wants to date me?
* Or should I just proceed on course? | I thought I was dating a girl, but now I'm not sure. She just got out of a really long relationship a couple weeks ago. What do I do? |
t3_2y0zzm | relationships | I'm [32 M] looking for advice with my wife [32 F], regarding bedroom enthusiasm... | Married 7 years, 3 kids. We're both working out and in the best shape of our lives. I don't really know why I'm using a thowaway account for this question. I guess I'm just embarrassed that I have to ask it.
How do I encourage my wife to be more enthusiastic in the sack? She's typically a very generous lover... but she definitely lacks enthusiasm.
I do my best to compliment her on her looks, I tell her how hot she is, make it a point to kiss her where she likes to be kissed, etc. The only time she REALLY comes out of her shell is when she's drunk, and I don't drink anymore.
It's honestly gotten to the point where I've said, "Can you just act the way you do when you're plastered?" She just laughs, and then proceeds to be a deer in headlights. Even when she gets on top, it's a very reserved and shy kind of sex.
I know this is a stupid complaint and I should just be happy that we're happily married, but I feel like I'm doing something totally wrong and I feel awful about it. Or that my libido is just too much for her and it's going to cause more problems in the future.
Please help? | Wife is only enthusiastic during sex when drunk, would like that to be all the time though. Seeking advice to help that along. |
t3_1gdylp | dating_advice | [21F] Things started hot, now insanely mixed signals from my coworker [24M] | So, we've worked together for over a year now. When we first met he had a girlfriend of two years and I was newly single. He and his gf broke up last November and he's been showing weird signs of depression every now and then.
He's always been very sweet and we occasionally trade books. During the holiday season we went to a party together and ended up making out, but nothing more than that. We met up and made out one other time since then.
Since then we've made plans to get together (he's initiated most of these), but he always ends up bailing for one reason or another (sick, OT at work, with family, etc.)
The problem is I know another girl we work with has a thing for him (even though he doesn't 'like' her - his words) I actually don't know for sure if they have a thing.
STILL he occasionally mentions that we should get together and 'hang out' but I'm very standoffish about it now.
Is this guy trying to play me? Is he still bent out of shape from his long term relationship? How can I ask him to be straight up honest with me? And I'm trying to avoid the other girl, because she's not particularly nice and I'm really not interested in making an enemy.
A few other weird things happened, most notably him showing up as a match on my now deleted OKCupid account. Neither of us said anything about that. >_> | coworker and I have had sexual tension and while he 'wants' to hang out, he's very flakey. Wtf is going on? |
t3_25gamb | relationships | Me [22 M] with my Ex-GF [23 F] of 2 years, tips on not accepting her pleads to get back with me. | Okay a little background, this is my second LTR (first one was 4 years). I dated this girl over the past two years and it was on/off after the first 6 months, which was a bad sign from the start. A problem I have is I often like to see the good in people so I give them too many chances.
So far there has been 3 separate occasions where we ended because she wanted to date another guy. The third time just happened this past Thursday out of nowhere, but this was just like all the past times. Every time she will date the guy about 3-4 weeks then come back at me with a wall of text saying how she made a mistake and wants to come back. She has pulled this same stunt about 5 times after we've been broken up for a period. Other times I have resisted slightly, but have been tricked by false futures, sexual motivation, and generally feeling bad. This is obviously a toxic relationship and I know I need to stay out for good and move on. She has underlying self-esteem issues that I will never be able to fix.
I am mainly looking for people who have been in this situation before and successfully ended it with someone. I know that 3-6 weeks down the line, she's going to try and contact me. So far I've blocked her on everything imaginable (aka NC), but in the past that didn't work because she would leave letters (10-20 pages) in my mailbox, come to my house at random times, and etc.
Sadly I'll never understand why she always comes back and it would be a blessing if she actually found someone who she could stay with. I need to put this girl in my past and get on with my life hopefully finding someone who doesn't cheat. | Dated girl with underlying self-esteem issues, worried about the impending "I need you back" stage that always comes about. Need advice from people in similar situation and how they successfully cut someone out of their life. |
t3_2z7egh | tifu | TIFU trying to jump into the ocean | Beach time, spring break, and the waves are nice at the beach. Sweet. Nothing like a much needed stress-reliever via a nice relaxing day on the beach. So, I decided to run out into the water to dive in and get a refreshing swim in, like I normally do. The beach was slanted very sharply downwards towards the water and as I ran out I started to pick up a lot of speed going downhill. And I mean a *lot* of speed. By the time I hit the water I knew it was way too fast for me to handle. I was at the point where my legs were moving too fast and I couldn't keep up with the speed of my body. There was a wave coming in, which was admittedly pretty small, but I couldn't run straight into it because I'd get slammed backwards with all the force of the water. So I decided to try to leap over the wave in a dive. My upper body flew over the wave fine but my feet clipped the top of the wave and sent the momentum of my legs way too far forward and I slammed into the shallow water behind the wave in a [scorpion position] and hit the ground face first since the water was only about 2 1/2 ft deep behind the wave, further intensifying the scorpion bend. I immediately got the air knocked out of my lungs and luckily I had the sense to stand up and try to get some air. My back was so stiff and I couldn't twist from side to side without a ton of pain. Went to get it checked out and the doc says 2 slipped discs and a bruised vertebra in my lower back. Looks like I'll be taking it easy for the next few weeks and not trying to leap over waves any time soon. | Ran into the water too fast, tried to jump over an incoming wave, clipped it with my feet and bent my back way too far. Resulted in 2 slipped discs and a bruised vertebra |
t3_2hoiqc | relationships | I [24 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of 6 months are in trouble, distance and relationship expectations in LDR | We have been dating for about 6 months now. For a variety of reasons beyond both of our control things got rocky for the past few (2-5) months.
We are in a LDR (now) and have been for 1 month. It feels likes things are headed in the right direction but there remain a few lingering issues:
- Distance: My girlfriend has been in the position of being in relationships where at least one partner has been distant prior. I am not and do not want to be in a relationship where either party is. She says she does not want to be as well however is acting distant (not calling, texting... not bringing up or addressing issues on her mind especially related to the relationship or previous relationships)
- Communication: I guess related to above, in a LDR context we struggle with different understandings of frequent communication (texting daily with a few voice/video chats per week was agreed). It seems appropriate and we had discussed as such. Beyond that we've talked about being available to the other person when they need support. I have already been called upon and made time in my schedule and not received the same when I have asked.
- Sex: My girlfriend is shy and we struggled with that the past few months before I moved away. Now that we are in different states I want to try and further the discussion we had about sex/attraction (admittedly quite chaste), however it seems like something she is not ready to discuss in depth, thoughts...? | Have discussed with my partner why there is distance/struggles in LDR. Advice on knowing how to talk to your partner. Am I waiting around too long for things to change? |
t3_2ynlcp | offmychest | Warning: Sad story about Dad stuff. | I got married last May. We had intended on a big, Alaskan, backyard wedding, but I found out last minute that a lot of my family couldn't make the trip, including my BioDad who was living in North Carolina at the time. Airfare to Alaska is often outrageous- So we decided to all go to Vegas. It was fun. Nothing fancy, but super fun. My in-laws rock!
Fast forward 1 week. I had just sent him a bunch of photos from the ceremony and the reception and was then talking on the phone with my dad. I could hear him clicking through the pictures as I heard a familiar hiccup in his voice. He was crying. Well, trying not to cry. After some prying, I finally got him to reveal that my mom had told him not to come to our wedding because my stepdad "wouldn't have paid for anything" and would've "ruined heymandarae's special day" if he showed up.
I was speechless. This was absolutely not true. I assured him of this and he seemed to already know. My stepdad can be a bit uptight, but he has a huge heart and would never have done such a thing. Dad even mentioned that he would've just shown up; but he didn't want to chance ruining my special day, in case my mom knew something that he didn't.
I was pissed, so I asked my stepdad. She lied. She didn't want to deal with the confrontation of having my Dad see her failed marriage. (oh btw, my mom is extremely verbally abusive towards my stepdad and still insists that he is the horrible, annoying one) She lied to keep her image up- the image that she is the victim. My stepdad and I agreed to not tell my mom that we had discussed it.
My dad had a heart attack and wrecked his truck one month later. He died and I now hate her for all of the things she prevented us from having on our own. | Mom is a jerk to BioDad. BioDad feels unwanted at only daughter's wedding so doesn't go. BioDad dies tragically one month later. Only daughter now hates Mom. |
t3_3ixrzb | relationships | My [21/M] girlfriend of five months [22/F] told me she doesn't know if she's in love with me. Am I being naive? | So I've been with my SO for 5 months now and it's been the best relationship I've ever had. I've had some tough ones in the past, one of which resulted in counselling and anti-depressants. Because of all of the previous problems, I find it very hard to live in the moment, and if I feel that the relationship is going to end or I'm not getting my feelings reciprocated, I view it as me wasting my time.
Fast forward to the other night, after a pretty heavy evening we were chatting and she told me that despite loving me and the relationship being the best thing that's ever happened to her, she doesn't think she's in love with me. Not to say that she won't be, but she isn't and hasn't been yet. I appreciate her honesty, but I'm concerned that despite everything being spot on, I'm never gonna be right for her and the whole thing is a waste of time. Am I overthinking it or is this a red flag? | My so loves me but isn't in love with me. I'm in love with her so quite hurt. Is this going anywhere? |
t3_48jr0d | relationships | Girlfriend f/20 doesn't let me break up with her, but doesn't act like she cares about me or relationship m/28 | So we've been dating for almost a year. Over the past 2 months we've seen each other a 3-4 times when before that we'd see each other 5 days out of the week.
We don't even speak that often maybe 3-4 times a week. We live in the same city. She says its becaus of her schoolwork and I proposed a break and she started crying telling me that it actually was her schoolwork keeping her from seeing me when all I ask is 1 afternoon after 3 weeks to see her.
I've asked at least (not an exaggeration as I've kept a rough count) 8-10 times over the last month to see her or do something every request was denied with "sorry too busy" and no further explaination.
Am I getting played here? I've let it drag on for almost a month only because we get along and she hasn't given me reason to believe that she's talking to someone else
Is a short break what we need or just break up completely? How and what do I say if she keeps saying no? her behavior is completely inconsistent with her pleads for me not to break up with her. | GF acts differently than what she says. Not suspecting cheating but I think relationships dying and not wanting to drag on neelessly. Advice? |
t3_1fqmh4 | tifu | TIFU by calling the wrong number for Sony customer service. | I'll apologize in advance for lack of formatting and whatnot, as I'm typing this on my phone.
I bought a Sony Vaio E series back in march that was suppose to come with Sony Imagination Studio programs. I came to find that it in fact does not have these programs. Went to the store and they said to call Sony.
I googled the number for Sony customer service. This one came up that said sony vaio tech service. I thought it was a direct line to the customer tech support. Fuck was I wrong. (Though let me clarify, i asked if it was sony vaio tech support and dude says yes, of course)
Let this hindu guy on my computer via help44.com. I was thinking "okay dude has to verify that the programs actually aren't there." He proceeds to show me all these viruses and Trojans that are in my system,THAT HE PUT THERE!!!
He then proceeds to tell me that my antivirus is doing nothing and wants to charge me to remove these viruses from my computer. I only realized my mistake once I was off the phone with this guy. (Like the fact that he put the viruses on there)
Computer is fucked at this point. In a complete state of panic. Fuck my $780 computer that is only 3 months old is fucked. My husband kept his cool and called the real Sony customer tech support. They talked us through restoring our computer. Everything is backed up on our external hard drive so no lost files there. Restoration is in progress but we aren't out of the woods yet. Holy fuck I hope my PC is salvageable.
Oh yeah don't ever call this 1 (800) 457-2740 number for tech support on your PC! | Hindu guy lied about being Sony tech support then put viruses on my PC. Called the real Sony and hopefully my computer completes the restore process. |
t3_3jmj4c | relationships | Mom (44f) started dating a super religious guy (40sM) and now wants me (18f) to start going to church, praying and all that, how do I get out of this? | My mom has been single for the past ten years or so. She dated on and off but recently she began seeing this really religious guy. And suddenly she has crosses and bibles and bottles of holy water at home and has made me go to church a number of times in the past month.
I've tried talking to her but she's just oh, it'll be good for you and for us. Plus her bf (super religious dude) seems like a total crazy in hiding, I can totally see him being a drink the kool aid for God kind of guy | mom got a crazy religious bf, now bringing lots of religion into our home, wants me to get into it, help? |
t3_29rnv6 | relationship_advice | My boyfriend (25/m) wants me (25/f) to be more assertive | My boyfriend and I have a long history, but we've pretty much been friends or more off and on for the past ten years. We've had a solid friendship for the past few years, and recently we've started to be romantic again. Yesterday he told me he wants me to be more assertive, to tell him when I don't want to do something or get bored. He said he feels like he needs that in his life right now. I should say that my ex told me pretty much the same thing, so I know it's an issue with me. The thing is, I really love doing just about anything, and find enjoyment just about anywhere. Occasionally I'll tell him where I'd like to go and we'll go, but oftentimes it just doesn't matter at all to me. I have fun just being with him. I don't need constant entertainment, and I can combat boredom on my own. Reddit, I really need some insight on this. I don't want this issue to be our demise. I need to nip this in the bud before he gets bored and moves on. | I need to learn how to be more assertive about where we go or what we do before he gets too bored. |
t3_3f423m | relationships | My [37, F] boyfriend [46, M] is quitting smoking, but he doesn't realize I want to break up. I am being supportive; he is going through hell. How long do I wait before breaking up? | He is on day 4 of quitting cold turkey. I love and admire him in many ways, as much as one can after 4 months of dating. For other reasons, however, I have sadly decided that we are not compatible in the long run. He is now going through the hell of mood swings and anxiety, and he appreciates how supportive I have been. Which I have, very much so. I am proud of him for quitting! I do not want to jeopardize his quitting. We live in separate cities and I would normally go see him toward the end of next week. I no longer want to do that. How long do I wait before picking up the phone to break up?
I feel terrible to have made the decision to break up just as he's quitting, but other issues (his deplorable hygiene habits and my cat allergy) are causing me to need to do that. | How long do I wait to break up with a boyfriend whose anxiety is through the roof because he is (admirably) quitting smoking? |
t3_10uw10 | AskReddit | What's something clever you've done to save your ass in a moment where you were prepared for failure? | During my senior year of high school I was taking this philosophy class. One of the assignments was to pick a philosopher from the four we had been studying and then either make an informative pamphlet on this thinker and his ethics, or do the same by making a website.
Being the only student in the class who knew the first thing about web design, I was the only one who chose to do a website. However, I got the due date confused in my head and showed up the morning of with nothing. As everyone was handing in their pamphlets, I grabbed a scrap piece of paper and quickly scribbled down a domain I was confident would be available,
(I believe it was *
and then I handed the teacher the paper. I skipped my next class and had a spare after that, so I opened up my laptop which had FileZilla installed, registered the site, and got to work. | Gave teacher address of non-existent website containing homework, created website and finished homework before he marked it, got 97% |
t3_3en06f | relationships | I [22 M] know a friend of mine [20 F] who is very into me. I don't feel that way about her. Should I address her directly about it or should I wait for her to make a move? | I met this girl sophomore year of college two years ago. She is a very shy Asian exchange student who I think is still adjusting to America. I've seen her in my group of friends before once or twice, so I decided to sit down and talk to her and see how she is doing every once in a while. Just as a friend.
I think she interpreted this friendliness as interest on my end. I didn't recognize it at first, but I had suspicions that she was beginning to have feelings for me. I knew she was into me when she invited herself to dinner with me seconds after telling her other friends she wasn't hungry (to their faces, no exaggeration). That was about eight months ago. When she found my SnapChat, she immediately added me as a Best Friend around April of this year. I didn't do the same. She tried to put her hands around me from time to time before we left for this summer break. And during the summer break I got a SnapChat from her with a message saying "I --- you" with an anatomically correct heart drawn in between I and you.
I care for her and love her, but only platonically. I don't have nor will have any interest in her romantically. I'm not attracted to her, and starting a relationship without that mutual attraction will only hurt both of us. But I do want her to find someone to make her happy, I just know it isn't me. And I think she is too shy to address me directly about how she feels, which only make it worse because I fear she may be missing out on so many romantic opportunities in the holdout for me. I really wouldn't want her to leave college like that. I can't control whether she will find someone, but I can at least influence her take on me.
So my question to you all is whether it would be a good idea to sit her down and tell her that I don't feel that way about her, or should I wait for her to try to make a move and let her down honestly? | My very shy friend is into me and I don't feel the same about her. I don't know whether I should tell her first before she ask or whether to wait for her to ask. |
t3_107xdd | relationships | gf(24) seems to just want me for sex male(24) | My gf(24) if she can be called that anymore have been together bf(24) for 4 months. I have been friends with her for atleast 14 years and only hooked up with her when we both confessed we have had crushes on each other. Dont get me wrong I love sex she is by far the best I've ever had but all she wants to do is have sex and when Im not around she doesnt seem to want to talk to me or return my texts/calls. Before we did it the first time, she was amazing she was always there for me always a shoulder to lean on. Now she rushes me off the phone or doesnt return my texts unless she knows I'm around long enough to take care of her. Now Ive told her that I dont mind being friends with benefits, but she needs to stop leading me on with saying that she loves me and doesnt want anyone else. Also she flips when I hang out with other girls but again never changes her ways. I really do love her and have always figured she would be the one for me even when we were just close friends, and goddam I enjoy the sex (shes fucking amazing and way out of my league in looks and ability). Basically I just need to know what should I do. | New gf(24)/old friend only wants to have sex but doesnt want me(24) to see other people or be with her unless we are fucking. What should I do? |
t3_2q5u65 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my fiancé [20 F] of a month, do not agree on the need for oral sex. | My fiancé and I just recently got engaged just over a month ago. Before then, we had dated for around 15 months and before then we had been good friends for about a year. We are both christian believers, we have never had sex with anyone including each other. We are saving ourselves for marriage.
Today, we decided to discuss what our sex lives would consist of and I discovered that she finds the idea of oral sex repulsive and pornographic. I don't find it that way, rather, I think a healthy sex life would be open to experimenting and discovering with each other what we like and don't like as husband and wife.
I'm not necessarily trying to get her change her mind. I am mostly trying to ensure that we can have a healthy sex life after I have been expecting this and discovering she finds it repulsive.
I will say, I do not plan to break the engagement because I love her for too many other, more important, reasons. I am simply looking for a compromise that can ensure us having a healthy sex life that both of us are happy and comfortable with. | My fiancé finds oral sex repulsive and I think it's healthy to have an experimenting sex life. What can we do? |
t3_4rr8rc | relationships | Me [26 M] with my boyfriend [23 M] of 4 weeks, unfounded fear that he's going to leave. | [Gay - me 26 m / him 23 m] I just exited (4 months ago) a 6-year relationship that I thought was going to be life-long (with a manipulative alcoholic narcissist). I was single for a few months. Now, I'm dating this sweet, loving dude who I have amazing sex with (I actually thought I was asexual for most of my adult life, but apparently I just never found the right partner...)
He really values his time with his friends and isn't as clingy or needy as my ex. We don't stay in constant contact through the day like I did in my last relationship. We only sleep at eachother's houses a couple nights a week.
He has told me about plans for 9-12 months from now for moving in with his two best friends (also gay young men.) I worry that he's going to live a party life when he moves out and will end up getting drunk and cheating on me. I also have a bit of jealousy because what if in 9-12 months I want to move out with him?
Just, ugh. For some reason, I have this constant fear that he's going to leave. He's given no sign of that and has been nothing but loving and sweet and attentive. But I can help but fear that he's going to find someone better just around the corner or I'm going to wake up to an "I'm just not that into a relationship right now" text.
Is this a result of my previous messes of relationships (relationships with liars and narcissists) or do you think this is a real fear? | New relationship, comparing to old relationship, full of fear, and have an unfounded fear that he's going to leave. |
t3_2ioj88 | relationships | Am I [24F] being petty? | My BF [25M] has always been a very outgoing person- he is known for being a funny guy. He can also be pretty flirty with other people, but in an obviously joking way. This has never bothered me in the past, it's just who he is, and I know the "flirting" is completely harmless and usually with our shared friends. The thing that is starting to bother me though, is that sometimes it feels like there is nothing really "special" or different in the way he treats me. Some of the things he says to me, which I know he means seriously, just start to feel empty when you hear him jokingly saying the same things to other people. Even stupid things like petnames, saying "hey babe" or "hey beautiful," he says to literally everyone else in conversation.
I'm not insecure about him doing it, it's just when he says something to me and goes to say it to someone else, there's always kind of an "oh." moment for me. It just seems to take away meaning from the stuff he says.
I realize this a pretty stupid, simple problem for this sub, but wanted to know if anyone else has had any experience with this. I have had other jealousy issues in the past with him, which I usually just keep to myself until I get out of my shitty mindset. This only compounds the problem. I don't have much experience with this...he has been with a bunch of people and has had some long-term relationships in the past, whereas asides from an innocent high school bf and some random hookups, this is my first real relationship. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if I would still feel this way if I were on more "even-ground" with him, so to speak. But it is what it is. | My BF is a flirty person, starting to wear on me. Should I say anything, or just get over myself? |
t3_4msq3t | relationships | Me [26F] with my BF [28 M] of 4 years, I don't know what's crossing the line and what isn't. | I don't know whats acceptable and what's not anymore. Please help.
My boyfriend and I have been together four years. He has depression but has been in therapy/taking medication for the past few months.
About a month ago, he had a major depressive episode and refused to get out of bed/go to work. We nearly broke up but ended up working through it.
This morning, he was refusing to get out of bed again. He ignored me whenever I tried to talk to him, and, fearing it was happening again, I kept trying to pull the blankets off my head. Honestly, the entire morning is a blur but I know at one point he threatened to punch me, pinched my hand for trying to move the blanket and bit my hand. I poured my cup of water on the blanket to get him up and he got really angry.
He pushed me twice and accused me of being dramatic when I stumbled back.
I started packing a bag to leave and he again told me I was being dramatic. He denied biting me and said I was faking how hard he pushed me. When I brought up that he threatened to punch me in the face he said, "If I wanted to punch you, I would have punched you in the fucking face." He also told me I was violent too and hurt him when I tried to move the blankets but I swear I didn't mean to/think I was actually being too rough. He never mentioned it hurt at the time, so I think he's most likely making that up/exaggerating how hard I tugged on the blankets to try and displace blame.
He honestly didn't bite or push me too hard, neither action actually hurt but I'm more troubled by the fact that he did these things to begin with.
I apologize if all of this sounds stupid or super obvious, but I just don't know what to do at this point. TO make matters worse, I'm sick and barely slept last night so my mind is completely boggy.
Please, please give me your thoughts. Am I crazy? Is this unacceptable? I just don't know what to think right now. | I don't know if things are past the point of no repair and if my boyfriend really crossed a line or I'm being dramatic, as he said. |
t3_xoyj5 | relationships | My girlfriend is really self conscious about her body, how can I help her self esteem without pressuring her? | I'm 23 and she's 21. We've been dating for about four months now and things have been going well. Personality wise, we tend to click. We like the same music, movies, and can have long conversations that last well into the night. However when we get into the bedroom girlfriend becomes really self conscious, especially about her chest, which I guess isn't as full as she would like. I think she's absolutely beautiful and I've tried to tell her that I don't care, but it doesn't seem to help. She is very reluctant to remove her bra and keeps it on when she's around me, even while sleeping.
The other day she asked me "If there was another me, who looked the exact same as I do, but had huge boobs, would you pick her over me?"
With my inner admiral Akbar screaming in my head, I promptly replied that it wasn't a fair question because the two versions of girlfriend wouldn't be the same. That her current body and personality was what I had fallen for, and that some big-boobed version of her would have grown up with much different attention from a much douchier group of guys, and probably wouldn't be the clever, rational, down-to-earth girl I fell for. She smiled a bit at this, but it didn't seem to help.
She's very reluctant to remove any underwear completely which means sex has been off the table so far as well. I care very much for her and don't mind the wait. I know the best solution is to give her all the time she needs to become comfortable, but I feel bad that her self esteem is so low. I wish I could let her see things from my point of view and how wonderful she is to me. Is there anything I can do? Has anyone else had this problem? | Gorgeous girlfriend is hesitant to remove clothing because she is very self conscious about her body. What can I do, if anything to help her feel better about herself and more confident? |
t3_38neg0 | relationships | Me 22M with my ex-gf 23F 15months, dealing with break up | Since she broke up during my exams, I'm really doing horrible. I Keep sleeping until very late (1PM) which I can't afford during my exams, but I feel like I only actually slept for 1 hour. My exams start on monday and I can't afford this.
What should I do? I keep blaming myself for being the worst and not studying and sleeping too much.. I never even failed one exam in my life and I'm a master's student.. I can't afford this :(
Any tips that really work are highly appreciated! I used to try coffee but it didn't work, it just kept making me distracted and more tired the next day. | since break up, keep sleeping way too long and feeling so tired but it's during my exams -- can't afford it. What should I do?? |
t3_4qlyo4 | relationships | Me [26F] Is marrying my boyfriend [27M] Important? | hi! Long time lurker here but first time poster! Hope this makes sense and someone can give some sound advice, thanks in advance!
I have been with my partner (feels like much more than a boyfriend) for 8 years now and we have lived together for 5 of those years. We have a passionate relationship, we both work hard and take great care of each other making each other feel special. I have expressed to him in the past my desire to be married because he is truly all I want. I told him having his last name would be an honor. He seemed to understand the first time I brought it up manyyyyy years ago. Over time, maybe every year and a half to two years I will casually bring it up again because I DO wish to marry him.
Background info, I grew up around healthy marriages and desire the same. His parents never married. They were THOSE hippies, didn't need marriage to prove their love. In the more recent times that we've spoken of this he reflects similar views and he said he doesn't see the reason to be married. Signing papers won't change his love or loyalty but he does see where I'm coming from (his words).
Unfortunately the very most recent time we spoke of it I was slightly intoxicated (slightly, but enough to change my attitude) and his same response that he loves me and I'm his life partner but he doesn't nees the wedding process to prove it just really really hurt me. I took it way harsher than I normally would this time and it erupted into a fight.
I felt awful because I've been so calm about the topic always but it finally got to me. I felt that if he couldn't do this for me it was likely because he didn't REALLY know if he wanted to spend this life with me by his side. It made me feel that I didn't matter enough for him to get over his opinion to make this a happy reality.
So do I want too much? I love him to death and he has been an amazing partner in life giving me NO reason to walk away. Is a marriage title that important? Anyone else experience something similar? Thank you. | partner of 8 years does not want to marry because it doesn't prove love, I really want to be married; advice? |
t3_3gd513 | relationships | I [M 26] was implicit in cheating with a lady [F 27] behind her boyfriend's back and feel awful. | I'm acquainted with F and her boyfriend and see them socially from time to time, work parties mostly. F's boyfriend was not present at the most recent party, and everybody was quite tipsy. F was coming on to me really overtly, to the point that I called her out on it. She was offended but didn't stop.
I've been cheated on before and it was devastating. Debilitating. I told myself I'd never be the other person. But she was so insistent that I just caved. No clothes were removed. We made out and went to sleep, but I can't help but feel like I've tainted myself, become a bad person. It was my responsibility to guard her boyfriend from this. | I was the other guy and feel like shit. How can I reconcile what happened? Am I a bad person? Is this a major character flaw? |
t3_1l1dt7 | relationships | I (22M) am crushing hard on a girl (18F) I know to be struggling with anorexia. How do I do this right? | First, I'd like to make it clear that I don't want to date her *because* she's anorexic. Also, the anorexia doesn't make me want to date her less -- she's a beautiful girl in and out; that's what makes me want to date her.
I've known this girl for a couple years. She's close friends with my sister and our mothers are also close, so I've heard from both of them about her struggles. I know she was hospitalized for it a few years ago. I saw her last weekend and couldn't help but notice that she's looking much healthier, and even curvy. We flirted a little, it was great. My mom was texting her mom and she told me that her mom said she hadn't eaten much that day, so it does seem like she's still struggling; winning, though, apparently, judging by how she looks.
My usual approach with women is to go pretty heavy on the complements -- "hey cutie", "you look beautiful", etc. but I'm wondering if that's a poor approach here. Or maybe in the long run I need to be careful with that, since I tend to do it a lot. I don't want this girl to think that she must stay super thin or I'll leave her or something. I want to help her overcome this.
Obviously, I haven't made any moves yet here, but I'm pretty certain she'll be receptive considering the way she flirts with me.
So, to phrase this as questions: should I approach her any differently because of her anorexia? What can I do to help her through her disease?
Thanks. | Crushing hard on a girl who is struggling with anorexia. Do I approach her differently? How do I help her through her disease? |
t3_1r9o7g | relationships | I'm (20m) seeing a girl (21f) whose in a relationship with someone else (21-22m) | Over the past couple weeks I've started seeing a girl who is still in a relationship with another guy. We started with just making out, then we had sex last Saturday. After that I wanted to know if there would be anything mid to our relationship since I had developed feelings for her. She said that she felt the same way about me and wanted to have more than just sex from me. I asked her about her boyfriend and what she planned on doing any that.
She told me that she has no feelings for him anymore, that she's not even physically attracted to him anymore. However, she doesn't want to break up with him yet because of her capstone project. The capstone project is the final project for students at our college and extremely important. Her boyfriend graduated last year and has been helping her group with their project. She thinks that if she breaks up with him, he will stop helping her group. Her group has been glad for the help so far. My problem is that for the entire semester, she's been using him for the help, and now, she's using me as well for the emotional support.
I like her enough that I want to be able to tell our friends that we are together, and I know she feels the same. I'm going away for Thanksgiving next Tuesday and won't be back until the Monday afterwards. I'm thinking of telling her that when I come back from break they need to be over or I'm fine with her. I don't want to do that to her but don't know what else to do. | I'm the guy a girl is cheating with. We like each other but she can't break up with her boyfriend yet. What do? |
t3_3dj1wj | relationships | I [31F] want to help my husband [30M] get his life in order so we can start a family, but we don't know where to start. | Hi. Thanks for looking here and maybe helping. Throw away because I don't want him to feel even more bad that I'm asking the internet for advice.
So here's the breakdown. My husband and I recently moved so I could take a better job - one in my field that pays decently. He has not been able to find a job now. For a year. I know he is looking hard, but the area we are in is not the best for finding work.
His background: He has an associates degree, and has worked doing mostly office stuff. Nothing really specialized. He didn't get a bachelors because he doesn't know what exactly he wants to do and didn't want to waste the money. (I agree with that choice at the time, he has NO DEBT. Nice.)
I'm committed to another year at the job I have now, since I was recently promoted, but I am willing to move anywhere in the world for him to go to school or get a job.
We've talked a great deal about where we see ourselves in a few years, kids, the whole nine yards. He's at the point now where he's depressed and down on himself because he can't find a job and is convinced that he can't afford college. He also feels terrible when I offer to pay for him or help him. Like he "can't do anything for himself." I understand that helpless feeling.
So, my question(s) I guess is(are) what can I do to bring him up? How can I motivate him to find other career paths? What sort of jobs should he look for? Where can I find grants or scholarships for someone to go back to school?
Thanks for your help. | Husband needs a job so he can feel better and we can get financially straight, but we don't know where/how to make that happen. |
t3_kncqo | Parenting | How do I stop my son from headbutting... at night?? | Hey Reddit,
So my 19 month old has been headbutting every since he was about 4 or 5 months old. Our pediatrician said it was normal and that it would go away. We asked again when he was 16 months, because he had not stopped head butting. She suggested to buy a toddler that, because, that will **surely** stop it.
So now he is 19 months. We got him a twin size bed on a box spring because he actually gave himself bruises on his head from head banging so hard!! We were excited because we thought he would stop headbutting now. It is night two and it seems like he is doing it harder than ever. And now he is headbutting into his wall rather than the crib wall.
Does Reddit have any tips or advice to make him stop? Thanks fellow parents! | My 19 month old is head butting and has been since 4 months. Hes in a twin size bed and it doesn't help. Any tips? |
t3_1cf57o | BreakUps | I [17m] just deleted her [17f] on FB and all her contact information. Never felt more reliefd during the whole break up. | Broke up 2 months ago, after being together a year and a half of which living together a few months, first love and all, but we tried to stay friends (which ofcourse) didn't work, mostly since I'm still madly in love with her.
A week ago, after lots, lots and lots of shit in 2 months time, I told her I didn't want to see her anymore but still wanted to stay in contact via facebook if there was anything we had trouble with. Today I went over to her place to collect some stuff that was still there and after a little talk I told her I wanted to completly break all the contact, be it facebook or text, just not talking to each other for a long, long time.
And I have to say one thing about it. Smartest thing to do ever in a break up. And belief me, this was a hard decission I had to make. A really really hard one. But now I can really, truelly get over her. | Broke all contact and deleted all contact informatien 2 months after the break up in which we tried to be friends, best decission I made in the whole break-up. |
t3_1506yp | running | What's wrong with my ankles? (more info inside) | I'm 20 years old, 5'5, 130lbs. I ran a lot in the summer (like 30+ miles a week). Then when I went back to school, I almost stopped running completely. I started back up again in October and had no problems... until October 25th. I started getting pain where my shin meets my foot (top of the ankle I guess). It hurts more so in my right ankle than my left. When I would run, it was almost like I had not control over my foot and it would just smack the ground. I assumed I had shin splints so I stopped running for almost 2 months. I just went back out today and I had the same pain! I don't know what is wrong. Any ideas?
Oh yeah, I run in the Brooks Ravenna 2. I have slight pronation. These are about to be replaced though with the 3. | I have a pain where my foot and shin meet whenever I run, not sure if it's shin splints or not. |
t3_4e4rft | relationship_advice | Female friend drama | First of this is my first post, my boyfriend doesn't usually give his number to people so when i found out that he accepted this girls number i felt uneasy. I later from out that when he told me he was hanging out with friends, that he had went over to her house and that the other friends that were suppose to show didn't. He went out to eat with her and played with her brother and basically met her family. She then invited him to go shooting with her and her father.
I only found out about this recently and asked him about it and he said that if it was the other way around he wouldn't like it if i had done that with another guy. I thought the behavior was crossing the line and was inappropriate especially since he wouldn't have like it if it was the other way around.
When my boyfriend asked if she was flirting with her, she quickly denied it. He then asked if he could bring me along to go shooting and she said yeah and that it was suppose to be a group thing. About 30 minutes later she texted him saying that she would never bother him or us again.
I later texted her introducing myself and explained why i thought what i thought and said that if we met i wouldn't want things to be awkward between us and that she and my boyfriend can be friends still. But even after repeating myself several times that i was okay with it and that she might not of meant it that way, she still hasn't tried to contact my boyfriend. Friends are important to him since his past ex's tried to get rid of his friends.
I have also recently found out that her friends are catty and talked about my boyfriends best friends, and that she didn't say anything. Also that when she needed advice on something, she only wanted my boyfriend to help her and didn't want advice from someone who knew more then my boyfriend.
Question: So should my boyfriend try to get this relationship back or should he cut his losses? | boyfriend asked if female friend was flirting with him and she said no but said she didn't want to contact or bother him again. |
t3_4f76vz | relationships | My [24 F] friend's [28 M] girlfriend [29 F] got publicly humiliated and fired from her job, she blames me and he is backing her | My friend, let's call him Ted, and his girlfriend have been in a long distance for many years. The girl, let's call her Ellen, quit her job 8 months ago and came to live with him. During this entire time, Ted and I have been reaching out to everyone we know to help her get a job.
A few months ago, I noticed that the name of her last company was incorrect. When I pointed it out to her, she said that was on purpose as her company didn't have much of a reputation so she had basically lied she used to work at a much more respectable firm and put down her sister's name in references (who worked there). I told her she shouldn't have done that and most certainly not asked me to refer her to people with a blatant lie on her resume. She defended herself saying it wasn't a complete lie and she didn't make up work experience. I told her that's her call but I wouldn't be able to help her anymore.
After that, Ted and I were still on good terms but neither brought up the job hunt. Some time ago, she finally converted one interview and got an offer. She told me as well thanking me for all my help. I was genuinely happy for her.
She started the job immediately. A week into it, she was in an orientation session with all her peers and her manager publicly humiliated her for lying and asked her to immediately leave.
Ellen claims that while she was packing her drawer, she overheard him saying to another colleague that someone had tipped him off. She says that since only Ted and I knew about this, it has to be me. Ted says he doesn't believe I did anything but can't not support her as she's an "unemployed betrayed mess right now". | Friend's girlfriend lied on her resume, got fired, blamed me, friend says he has to sever ties with me. Should I try to prove my innocence by reaching out to employer or let it go? |
t3_4iimmx | relationships | I [28F] made an insensitive comment to new friend [31M], want to apologize without outing friend who told me | I have been forming a new friendship with "John" over the past few months. I have gotten to know his personality and met some of his friends, but I know little about his past. In a conversation where I was criticizing action movie tropes I described in graphic detail what happens to a person who jumps from a bridge into water. His fiancee [27F] discretely told me later that John's brother died that way.
I feel horrible. John didn't mention it, he kept a straight face through the whole conversation. I want to apologize to John for his loss and my comment, but I'm afraid I'll stick my foot in my mouth again by revealing that his fiancee told me something personal that he might not have wanted to disclose. | I made an insensitive comment about death, not knowing friend lost someone. I want to apologize, but a mutual friend disclosed the loss and I don't want to out her. What's proper etiquette? |
t3_1hed28 | relationships | The dreaded "separation" | I have been dating my girlfriend for around a year now. We are going to different colleges starting August, and will barely be able to be with each other this summer. Our colleges are an hour away from each other though.
She called me yesterday (Im in South America for vacation for 2 weeks) and we both agreed that we should take a break during the summer due to her summer college program that will last for a month until the beginning of Fall semester. We broke up, but we love each other to death and decided to keep contact romantically.
I dont want to lose this girl. We have discussed being together for the next 40 years or so (marriage)....but im afraid that this "temporary" break up might lead to her cheating or something similar. Im scared that I might lose this girl, and fucking COLLEGE is the only thing between us.
What should I do in this situation? | girlfriend and I are separating for college for freedom, but love each other to death. Im scared of losing her in this process. |
t3_2jjckj | relationships | Me [18M] with my ex? GF [18F] need help with a quick understanding | Okay, so I'm dealing with this very well now (had a previous post), and I am extremely well now. After days of contact my ex GF kept texting me wondering why I was ignoring her. I finally allowed myself to talk to her now that my brain is cured but I'm confused.
She said "even though we are holding off on our relationship now I won't treat you any differently, and when I said " take a break" I didn't mean lose contact"
I sort of laughed and said "a non exclusive break equals breaking up" (and she didn't mean an open relationship because I asked that earlier)
She said "no, it isn't" but I never got to address that part further. What the hell is she talking about? Is she just a confused 18 year old and has no idea what she is talking about? Or do I not have enough experience to understand what she meant. I'm dealing with this very well now, so I don't worry about anything else. That part confuses me though. | Girlfriend said take a break, cited that I could find other people etc, said it was not opening the relationship, but holding off on it. Then says it's not breaking up. What is it? |
t3_vfzew | AskReddit | Reddit, what is your most embarrassing childhood story? I'll start | I was about 6 years old when I met this girl at sunday school at church. It was pretty much a standard playground crush, and nothing much came of it. All of that changed after I attended my oldest brother's wedding and decided that she and I were going to get married. This was only after someone at the wedding commented on my slick suit, and asked if I was next in line to get hitched.
Some time later, I picked a date which happened to be a saturday night about 7 o'clock. My parents drove me, with my younger sister, to the church where this all was supposed to happen. The best part is, at six years old I was completely oblivious to the fact that you were supposed to invite people, especially since my parents seemed like this would be a real thing.
I walked inside, and there was no one there. After waiting a few minutes, my bride-to-be never showed up and I broke down crying because she didn't show up to our wedding. | girl I had a crush on didn't show up to our wedding, that I didn't invite her to and I was heartbroken at the age of six |
t3_krlab | AskReddit | Why does the Civil Acts Right (US) only cover companies that employees 15+ people? | My father works for a small company and a while ago it was bought out by a Scientologist couple.
He's been telling me that they have been threatening his job if he doesn't attend their daily/weekly scientology meetings within the office. He attended one out of fear of loosing his job, and all they did was push him to convert. Since that he told them to leave him out of it. But they still keep threatening his job, and making it harder for him to get things done because he refuses to attend/convert. He says he's too close to retirement to rock the boat more then trolling them here and there. Annoyed I decided to see what rights he has, and I found that [Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964] doesn't cover him because they do not employ more than 15 people. So, what gives? | Title VII of the Civil Rights act only covers companies of 15+ employees. This includes discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, or national origin. Why? |
t3_po2er | AskReddit | Reddit, I need the REAL, tested facts about marijuana. | While I was getting a check-up at my local doctor's office, the M.D. noticed I had some irritation on my throat, and asked if I smoked. I responded "no tobacco, but marijuana." Then my mother interrupted our conversation abruptly by saying "Can you please tell him that marijuana is just as bad for you lungs as tobacco!" I responded rather quickly with "No mom, there is no evidence you have to support that." So after a long chat the ONLY thing the M.D. could say was that marijuana's psychological effects can cause an artery to spasm, which can lead to a panic or heart attack, but "not likely," he assured. My mom says that she wants full-on tested proof and facts in order to prove to her that tobacco is way worse that marijuana, and that it has no harmful effects, except maybe lowering lung capacity. | My mom says pot is just as harmful as tobacco, need to show her proof that it is simply not true and that pot is not harmful. |
t3_45giws | relationships | Me [38/F] with my ex-husband[44/M], he gets upset if my new husband watches our son [10/M]. | Backstory: Married seven years, amicable divorce, both my ex and I have been in long-term relationships for a few years now. I got remarried last year and ever since then, my ex seems to be on guard, even though I've been with my now-husband for 6 years.
Now that I'm remarried and we live together (we didn't move in together until a month or so before the wedding) I don't have to bear all the "burdens" of single parenthood alone. Meaning I have help as far as drop-offs/pick-ups from school, extracurricular activities, I just have someone there to help me and it's been great. Unfortunately my ex seems to be uncomfortable with this. From his perspective, it's MY "job" to take care of my son and while he thinks it is okay for my new husband to help me out here and there, I guess he thinks that I'm being helped TOO much.
My husband picks my kid up from school when he can because he likes doing it, volunteers to do it, and knows that it means I don't have to rush out of work right at 5 every day. He helps me because he can and because he wants to make things easier on me. He has also taken my son to extracurricular activities where a lot of the other boys show up with their dads (Boy Scouts, soccer practice). My ex is very involved and usually does those activities with him, but if for some reason he can't, my husband will take my son.
I'm trying to be accommodating to an extent because I feel like my ex is just feeling threatened by a new father figure in my son's life. At the same time, I feel like it's kind of ridiculous that I can't take advantage of the help I have available now. Not to mention my ex actually told my new husband that he feels I "pass my responsibilities" off to him, which I find really offensive.
Am I being irrational? How should I handle this? | Newly remarried, new husband helps me out with our son when I need it, ex seems to think I'm pawning my son off and shirking my responsibilities as a parent. |
t3_1kifxk | Pets | Kitten is peeing in inappropriate places - have tried several things and am not sure how to proceed. | Hello, I posted a while ago about how my new kitten was giving us trouble by peeing in the wrong places, e.g. trash cans, the sink sometimes, etc. We're in a three story house with the litter boxes down in the basement originally (we've got a full-grown cat for whom that works fine), however, taking the advice I got previously, we put a litter box on each floor now.
Both cats have been using the litter boxes on all floors, however, we are still facing the occasional problem of the kitten peeing in the wrong place as well. She's still peeing in the sink every once in a while, a flower pot, and most recently in a pan that we accidentally left out. The problem isn't that she's not using the litter boxes (she's mastered that), she just doesn't seem to quite grasp the difference between litter boxes and various other cat-sized receptacles (she only once peed on the open floor and that was the second day she was living with us so we chalked that up to her being very young and stressed).
Another detail is that most often when she pees in the wrong place, it's when we're standing right there. She'll climb up in to the bathroom sink while someone is brushing their teeth, for example, and just start peeing.
She seems to be healthy overall and happy as far as I can tell, and isn't really exhibiting an overt signs of stress or anything like that.
Is this just typical kitten behavior? Or is this something that we need to be working to train her out of. We're doing our best to keep cat-sized receptacles out of reach (closing the door when we brush our teeth for example, putting the flower pot in the garage where she doesn't go) but we still mess up from time to time, as with the pan. Is that all we should be doing, or is there some form of training we can do to help her?
This has been a very long post, I apologize. | is that ~6 month old kitten is peeing in sinks, pans, flower pots occasionally even though there are several litter boxes throughout the house. |
t3_4fapc2 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] who wants to hang out with ex and keep his stuff despite my objections | My girlfriend had a hard and fast fling with a guy in the end of summer last year for a month, and then started dating me a couple months later after that ended due to "misalignment in objectives". In the beginning of the relationship, she used to always use him to make me jealous (always speaking to the amount of fun they had, etc.) This resulted in my becoming very insecure when compared to the other guy, and a general sense of revulsion towards him, which she knows clearly. After 2 months, she says that she will stop talking to him all together, which I believe is what has happened.
Fast forward now, we have been having a couple of fights. The guy is coming over again in the summer while I will be gone on business for a month, and she insists on still seeing him "just as friends" due to being afraid of being lonely. When I confronted her as to why him specifically, I was told that they have "great chemistry", and it was hard for her to make friends. I finally acquiesced by playing some additional mind games on myself that it will be OK, however, I definitely am still uneasy and even frustrated. Additionally, she insisted on keeping a memento on him, to keep her reminded of her past. I thought that was a shitty reason since I believe in the living in the present, and I suggested that she throw it away, but with no avail. I half-jokingly hid it, and said I threw it away, and she got very upset, claiming that I am "immature, petty, insecure, and not respectful of boundaries". I got upset too, returned the bracelet and proceeded to write this.
I'm so confused, and I don't know what to do now; I hate ultimatums and I believe that relationships are all about concession. I'm afraid that I am encroaching on her personal territory (who she hangs out with and what she keeps), but I'm really upset by this all and I don't know what to do. | Girlfriend wants to stay in touch and keep mementos of past fling. When I objected, I was called "immature, petty, insecure, and not respectful of boundaries". |
t3_3comxy | tifu | TIFU by uploading pictures of myself on dropbox. | There is a Dropbox for the program I am in at my University. It's for uploading old test, books for the class, etc. It's really awesome as I have not had to pay for many books because of it... I digress.
So one day I randomly met up with a friend to study for a test. Neither one of us brought our computers. So I decided to log into the programs Dropbox to get the pdf of the classes book with my phone. The studying went well and we made due with reading the book off my phone.
Fast forward a couple of weeks.
I am off at school and my SO is back home. (We are trying to "make it work") So obviously the phone is our connection. One night we are sexting each other I decided to send my SO a picture of my junk. To my surprise my SO enjoyed this and ask me to send more. So I do. Some of just me standing in front of a mirror, other in ridiculous sexy poses... why did I have to do the poses?
Fast forward a couple of more weeks.
I get a phone call from my study partner and she proceeded to inform me there are pictures of me on Dropbox. I of course don't understand and ask how? Then it hit me. My phone is set up to automatically save all my pictures to Dropbox... and I'm still logged into the Dropbox for the class because i never use Dropbox outside of this class. (I'm more of a Google Drive person). Now every person I see that's in my program I wonder of they have seen my junk... Why did I have to do those damn poses? FML. | Sent SO pics several pictures of my junk, got automatically backed up to a Dropbox account that is shared by other classmates in my program. |
t3_1z87ci | relationships | I [27M] have ADD. My GF [24F] of 1.5 yrs, has eating disorder, depression, and anxiety. She doesn't think I love her despite my efforts. | I'm looking for ideas on how I can really prove to her that I truly love her and care about her because I really do.
My issue is that I have a hard time focusing and for some reason no matter how hard I try, I can't show Emotion. But I try everyday to prove my love to her.
She just thinks I don't care about her and is constantly depressed and wants to leave me because she can't take it anymore.
We both love each other and this is a very frustrating situation for both of us. Can anyone help me? Thank you. | I have a hard time showing emotion and she's depressed because she doesn't think I love her despite my constant efforts. Any ideas or insight? |
t3_niw96 | weddingplanning | Am I being unnecessarily rude/mean? | I don't want my mom's husband (who is NOT my father) in the professional wedding pictures, nor do I want him in the same style and color of tux as my father and my husband-to-be's father. A little background info: my parents divorced when I was 12 (im 23 now) and my mom remarried this guy when I was 16. After the divorce I lived strictly with my dad. I never looked at my mom's second husband as any sort of father figure or any kind of authority figure. I always just thought of him as "that guy who married my mom". (Side note, my mom also cheated on my dad with this guy, that may be an important bit if info). Anyways, the guy is nice enough, I don't hate him, but I don't want him wearing a tux that matches my dad's and my husband-to-be's dad's because 1. He isn't a father of anyone & 2. I feel it's a bit of a slap in the face to my dad. I also don't want him in the professional pictures because we only want blood relatives or members of the bridal party in those pictures. My husband-to-be's dad is engaged and his wife will not be in any if the pictures. So, those are my feelings on it. I haven't talked to my mom about it yet, but she's already assumed that he will be dressed in an identical tux and in the professional pictures. I wanted to run this by a nonbiased group before I spoke to her about it because I want to make sure I'm not being unnecessarily mean or "bridezilla-y". My mom is super irrational and emotional so I know she'll be upset, I just want to hear from others whether I'm justified in my requests. And also just fyi: I don't mind taking separate pictures with him, but I don't want to pay $2500 for pictures I don't really want. (Also my fiance, me, and our dads are paying for 90% of the wedding, the other 10% my mom is paying for, if that's relevant). Thank you in advance for your input & words of wisdom!! | I don't want my mom's husband to be in the wedding party or pictures because he's not my father. Am I being a bitch? |
t3_2ohgjs | relationships | I 28M want to break up with her 28F due to sexual incompatibility, how do I spare her feelings? | This girl and I have been seeing each other for a month. We are very affectionate and I am unsure about her because of somethings like her lack of boundaries with her male friends and coworkers. The other issue is the lack of sex on our end. I am completely okay with waiting (to an extent) but she wants to wait until she is in love with me. There is no compromise (like oral) and I don't want to pressure her into sexual acts.
Sex is a huge part of how I show affection and I also want to see our sexual chemistry to determine if this is worth continuing. I feel like I have an agenda and I don't want this to be a constant issue with me but it is.
I need advice on how to end things while sparing her feelings. I feel like she will blame herself and I just want to let her know that it isn't her. It's me and my high sex drive. I respect her wishes and believe this is the best choice for both of us as I believe I have an agenda and if we do pursue the route of falling in love and if there isn't sexual compatibility, I would have led her on. I don't want to hurt this girl's feeling. Should I just say it's not working out and spare the details? | She wants to wait to fall in love for sex, I don't. I want to breakup and spare her feelings. Not sure how I should proceed.... |
t3_s44s9 | Parenting | So my FIL keeps making a joke that bothers the crap out of me about my daughter, how can I make him stop? | My father-in-law and I don't get along all that well but I put on a good face and push through. Because of this I try not to say anything about how I don't agree with some of his parenting choices on my 2 younger sister-in-laws (9-10), but he keeps making a joke about my daughter that I have mentioned to him, on several occasion,s that I am not comfortable with. He says it jokingly but I am still not ok with the constant mockery. The joke is, "Oh you will grow into those ears" as he plays with her. Small I know but I can't get over how he won't stop, I may be over reacting, but what can I do to either calm down and just say ok, or can I actually get him to stop. | father-in-law jokes about daughters ears being big (they aren't) even after I have asked him to stop, should I STFU or make him stop somehow? |
t3_4vl1m8 | AskDocs | Diagnosed with latent TB before college, parents refuse to accept treatment | 18 y/o Asian female who is 5'2.5" and weighs approx. 121 lb.
I was recently diagnosed with latent TB (positive skin, negative xray). Most likely exposed during trips to Taiwan (3 trips in the past 5 years, 1 trip [two years ago] in the past three years). I'm moving to college in a little over 3 weeks. My physician currently wants me to start a 9 month course of antibiotics (I forgot the name of the antibiotic). My parents, especially my father (who said birth control caused infertility) don't want me to start the treatment because apparently >80% of Taiwanese people (my parents said this, I don't know the real figures) have one form or another of TB. My dad said he's going to ask his physician (who is like 60 and literally believes in no treatment for anything whatsoever [I've been checked by him before]) for a "second opinion" (when the doctor will obviously say no) regarding my treatment. My dad is especially opposed to it because one of the major side effects of the antibiotic is liver damage when an allergic reaction occurs. My mom just thinks too many Asians have it, and nothing ever happens to them so it's not necessary for me to take the medicine (I kind of don't want to take antibiotics my entire first year of college...) | ? I'm an Asian college aged female who has latent TB and my physician and parents have different opinions on whether or not I should start treatment. |
t3_33bkjt | relationships | I [21 M] am debating on going to visit my ex girlfriend/extremely close friend that lives in Las Vegas [21M/F], BUT I am afraid it might cause some problems | Alright so I'm going to visit this person in Vegas and stay at her apartment for about a week.
We started off as totally platonic friendship and then formed into a very close friendship which turned into a relationship. (This was 3 years in the making)
We have gotten together and broken up about 4 times
(That was 2 and a half years)
Here's my issues
1. We have had an extremely toxic relationship in the past.
2. Our very close mutual friend of mine told me recently that shes still wants to be intimate with me but she is afraid that I might get jealous of her getting with other people.
3. She is extremely attractive and flirtatious.
4. I can't bring this up to her and throw some major awkwardness in the air if I'm just over thinking this.
5. I truly care about this person as a friend but my feelings of intimacy for her are heavy as fuck. | I have a ex that also my best friend with a heavy history that I am going to visit in Las Vegas for one week at her place. |
t3_26qa7q | relationships | Me [23 M] with my Best Friend [23 M] 5 Years, He just moved to NYC and tore his ACL the day he arrived, how can I cheer him up? | My friend just moved across the country to pursue his dream career.
He loves playing basketball, and was looking forward to making new friends while playing and joining a league. He tore his ACL during his first pickup game.
Now he is moved to a new city, very few friends, no family. No one to help him move or even hang out, and I'm worried how it will affect him long term for his goals in the city.
Any suggestions of resources or things I can do to help him out? To cheer him up? Was thinking of sending a care package but really not a ton else I can do I guess :( | Friend moved to NYC and tore his ACL the next day, how can I cheer him up/help him with logistics of injury? |
t3_1jgysy | relationships | I[26f] can't seem to stop resenting ex[24m] | We dated for just over a year. We had some phenomenal times and some horrendous times. In the end it got really bitter between us. I was going through an extremely rough patch in my life, and I really needed him at the time, but he just stopped talking to me. I tried to fight for 3 months to keep the relationship together and towards the end he was kind of on the fence. I sent him an email saying that I wasn't going to keep bothering him about it and that I was just going to go about my life as normal. He replies with a really long email telling me that the email was the final straw, he would never be the same person to me he was before, and he is closing this chapter for good. I was SO infuriated. After everything I had done for him and he completely overreacts when I tell him I am backing off. I knew right there and then that I was done with his stupid bullshit. He had sociopathic tendencies throughout the whole relationship, but I loved him so I stayed and put up with it. But after receiving that email I just got mad about everything. The email, the lies, the other woman, the naked online picture swaps. I am so mad I wasted so much of my life on this person who clearly never loved anyone except himself. I rcvd the email 2 weeks ago and I am STILL so furious whenever I think about it. I can't stand the thought of him at all. How do I get over this intense anger? | Begged ex to stay with me for 3 months, decide to back off, he sends an angry email because I back off, I'm still furious weeks later. |
t3_1zwek5 | AskReddit | Can I sue my property management company and landlord for harassment and human rights violations? | My landlord left a falsified message taped to my door for all neighbours to are pretending to be another tenant.
Evidence:
She used the same font and size that she uses for all her notes
Only she would know where we live and correlate it with where we park
Neighbours have no problem with us
We requested from the property management group to have the video tapes looked at and they stated hey did not have time to go on a "wild goose chase" I want evidence hard evidence and they denied me.
I want to pursue this further particularly with the human rights board of Canada based in harrassment and predjusice that goes against the human rights code.
The letter calls us assholes, says we were raised in a barn, says because we are young we should be more competent, calls us pigs, days we make all the neighbours sick.
It is defamatory as it was pasted for everyone to see. Also we were not born in Canada.
Please see this website for your information on his situation.
Also this letter was taped on our door for everyone to see. It was prejudice and defamatory on many levels Adressed in the the human rights code of Manitoba. It was defamation of character for it to be visible To everyone. Please see the following "
It is also contrary to The Code for anyone responsible for rental housing to knowingly permit or fail to take reasonable steps to terminate harassment of one participant by another participant - such as harassment of one tenant by another tenant. (Please also see the sample policies on Discrimination and Harassment at the end of these guidelines.)" | landlord pretended to be another tenant and wrote defamatory things on our wall, property management company refuses to look at the video tapes. Want to pursue this further |
t3_t7q9z | AskReddit | What is a surprising reward you have received just for being a decent person? | My father paints apartments in a college town, so the first weekend of August is known as turn-over weekend and is crazy busy. A few years back I was helping him as I usually do and he had a woman I didn't know helping as well. She only helped the first day, and that is the only time I have ever met her. We didn't talk a whole lot while working, just a little general stuff and we had lunch together at Applebee's. Well, she is on her second marriage to my father's cousin. One day my dad informs me that she has apparently made me the only beneficiary in her will. I guess her first husband had a good deal of money that she inherited when he died, she has no children of her own, and all her step-children treat her like shit. So, she decided I was nice to her and she was leaving me everything. | I was nice to a lady I didn't know for a day and now she is leaving everything to me in her will. |
t3_24g0u0 | relationships | Me [27M] with my Wife [24F] of 4 years, is it alright to feel jealous? | Some history:
I'm not sure if it's important to note but I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and my wife was diagnosed bi-polar (she disagrees with that diagnosis though.)
I'm active duty military stationed in Germany and she had to go to the states about a month ago to deal with some family issues (she also took our two kids with her.) Needless to say I have been pretty lonely here without her.
-----
Lately she has been going out to bars with friends quite a bit. Last week her and a female friend where at a bar together when a male bartender who had just got off shift came to sit and drink with them. She told me that he had been hitting on her all night, which isn't really a big deal I trust her and I find it somewhat flattering.
The next day her and her friend went back to the same bar and he drank with them again. This time I guess he got really drunk and couldn't drive home so my wife sent me a text asking if I didn't mind if she gave him a ride. Again not a big deal she is doing the responsible thing and I trust her.
Yesterday she tells me that she had sat with him in the car for awhile that night she gave him a ride. She told me that he was going through a lot and she wanted to be there for him. She also told me that he was trying really hard to get her to sleep with him.
I told her I didn't think it was appropriate for a married woman to be sitting and chatting alone with a drunk guy who wants to sleep with her. It's not that I don't trust her it just really bothered me (I don't know if it should, but it does.)
It turned into a huge argument where she told me I was being too controlling and telling me that if I wanted to divorce her this would be a silly reason (I have never mentioned or thought about divorce.) The argument ended a few hours later with me conceding and apologizing (as pretty much all our arguments end) for being overly jealous.
I still feel very upset about it but I feel bad about being upset by it. | Wife sat alone in a car with a drunk guy who wanted to sleep with her. Is it ok to feel jealous? |
t3_37hxug | personalfinance | Should I get a credit card? If so, which one? Info inside. | Just a bit of background.
I'm currently a college student. My father recently passed, I received a decent sum of money which I used to put a down payment on a house that will be paying for itself once I rent a room out. All my previous debt has already been paid off (just car payment and student loans). And have a decent sum (above 40k) as emergency savings and a little bit as "income" so I can quit my shit job and focus on finishing school.
I've never had a credit card. My dad, while great with money, never taught me a damn thing about credit cards. I really don't spend huge on anything. I've lived off about 15k per year for the last 1.5 years. I was raised lower middle class so I just don't really know or want to spend money extravagantly. I always have just paid with a debit card for everything.
For example, I use Amazon for a good bit, so I looked up their credit card. A review said if I spend less than $1250 a month(!!!) on Amazon it wouldn't be worth it. Seems ridiculous.
From what I've read on a few posts here, credit cards can clearly be a useful tool, but I honestly don't know if I spend enough to warrant one. Would the interest overtake the rewards? Is there even interest if I pay it off in time? | I don't know if I spend enough money to warrant having a credit card, if I do, what should I get? |
t3_2bu8ua | offmychest | Got out of the "friendzone", never wish I did... | I made a friend, back in Freshman year of High School... And after about 2 years, I realized I had feelings for her. I told her, and she rejected me, but let me down easy. I still got mad, but we fixed things quickly. Then that Summer, she almost gave me a chance. But then she found god, and left me literally a a day after saying she'd go out with me. I was devastated, and we fought for almost a year.
This was Senior year. We stopped fighting second semester and made up. But then, she asked me to prom... Being a teenager still, I said yes. And it was good... Until she left me for another guy. And ever since then, we have been fighting and because we have a mutual group of friends, our group almost got torn apart.
That was two years ago. Fast forward to about 3 months ago, I invited her over when my sister had prom (who ironically went with my best friend), and I though I would rub it in her face... Instead, she came over in her prom dress, and she asked if we could have our own prom to make up for what she did. I accepted, and so started my first real relationship.
Within a couple of months, we took each other's virginity, and we announced to everyone that we were a couple. And it didn't last long... We broke up around 3 weeks ago. And now, once again, everyone is fighting because we are all in a tight-knit group. But I don't feel bad, like last time. I realized the sex is all I wanted. And when I realized that, things got even worse.
Yes, I defeated the "friendzone" after almost 4 years. But at what cost? Almost lost the rest of my friends, and I now lost my best friend because she won't even look me in the eye anymore, much less return my phone calls or even acknowledge my text messages. I wish I had just stayed friends with her... I wish I regretted the sex as well, but I don't... I've lost her now because of all these complications, and that feels worse than anything else... | enjoy the "friendzone", because it is better to have a good friend than to ruin that friendship with something as trivial as sex or a "Facebook official" relationship |
t3_1hlsbh | personalfinance | As a self-employed phone sex operator, what can I claim as a tax deduction? | After a bout of unemployment, I started doing phone sex independently from home as a shot in the dark, and it's been doing surprisingly well. I'm not rich by any means, mind you. Definitely still a poor person. So far I've been making at least $1000-1500 monthly just from the phone sex.
I ended up moving in with my mom when I was unemployed, and now that I have an income, I'm looking for a cheap apartment to rent, especially because I can't do phone sex when my mother is home. Can I claim a portion of my rent on my taxes? How much? Explain like I'm five.
Actually being a pso is making finding a place to live kind of tough, since it'd make finding a roommate difficult. I hope to find a place that I can afford alone and is $500 after utilities, and have found some places in that range already. What designates a home office? Could I claim the whole apartment as home office or only one room?
I also use my cell phone and internet for phone sex. Can either of those be a tax deduction?
Any creative deductions anyone can think of? | Can I claim my rent, phone, or internet as tax deductions since I have such a private job and work from home? What could I use a tax deduction? |
t3_4vnmj7 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my coworkers [40's/50's] 2 months, Imposter's Syndrome at new job | Hi everyone, recent [May 2016] college grad here. I graduated with a B.S. in mechanical engineering from a private school in the U.S. I have a good job doing quality engineering work for an aerospace defense corporation on precision optical space systems. However, it's been two months and I feel like I still don't know what I'm doing and that I don't really fit in. I'm the youngest person at the company by a wide margin. There are maybe 3 people in their late 20's and a few more in their 30's, but I don't work with them. A lot of them also already are married/have families. And everyone else is old enough to be my parents/grandparents.
I guess I'm am feeling upset because in school, it felt so much easier to socialize as you could always connect with someone over what their major is, what they want to do after graduation/for summer, etc. I wish I had a friend at work who I could actually talk to about what's going on in my life, instead of telling everyone about my commute over and over again. But because everyone is so much older than me, I can't really imagine being friends with my coworkers or even 'being myself' around them.
Any advice for getting over this Imposter's Syndrome and maybe even making some friends at work? | Everyone at my new job is way older than me and I feel like I don't belong here. Any advice for making friends? |
t3_3upfli | relationships | My bf [24M] gets mad at me when we are talking and I [22F] don't give him my whole attention | We have been together for 3 years and we live together.
I'm not good concentrating at something for too long. When we have a conversation, I'm the kind of start several subjects of conversations and just jump from on to the other. We have always been like that and I liked it because it showed to me that we had so many things to talk about.
Now, when he gets really mad is when we are talking and my attention goes to something else. I don't do this consciously. For example, maybe we are walking down the streets talking and something grabs my attention (a funny graffiti in some wall, someone dressed different, a weird car, a new shop that wasn't there before...). I will look at whatever it is, still listening to my bf, so I think I'm no ignoring him. He gets really mad at me. He says I'm rude.
BTW it's not something I'm doing every 5 minutes, but I suppose I do it several times a day? Depends on how interesting is the environment.
I have always been like that but he has started being mad with me just the few last months.
Is he right? What can I do to give him all my attention? I just do it without thinking, and when I actively try to avoid doing it it just works when I'm thinking about it but soon I relax and start doing it again. | When talking to my bf sometimes I get distracted by my environment. My bf gets mad because of that. How can I solve this? |
t3_13d4vn | relationships | i (22) have snooped through my boyfriends (25) email and Ii feel so guilty. | i feel SO guilty. I honestly dont know what to do we have been dating for 4 years. my best friend got cheated on and i think that is what has spurred my paranoia. i have not found anything that has to do with cheating but there are other things. like I found out he has lied to me a few times. Nothing big but he will tell me he can't hangout because of school and instead he goes out with friends. I want him to see his friends! This is a burden on my shoulders and I need to either STOP RIGHT NOW or fess up to him and have our relationship end. I know it's wrong but i feel so paranoid because of my friend and then me finding some lies he has told. he is signed up on some sex websites but i think it is just for viewing. that isn't a big deal to me. i know I'm an awful person for doing this in the first place. what can I do? please be brutally honesty. I don't want anything sugar coated i know i've done bad i just feel like i'm fallling apart. i would just rather stop then have him find out Has anyone ever been in this situation? | my friend was cheated on and i snooped through my boyfriends email and found some small lies and i am super paranoid. |
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