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t3_1ds1px | relationships | My boyfriend [M21] and I [F20] are in an open relationship, and for the first time last night I hooked up with someone else and he is not reacting well... | We've been together for a year and a few months, and maybe a month and a half ago I asked that we be in an open relationship. I was having a lot of trouble being in a committed relationship for so long at so young an age, but he didn't seem to really want to be open, but he also didn't mind it. At least that's what he told me. Last night I hooked up with another guy and my boyfriend came to my room presumably to go to bed. He didn't actually come in and see (he knocked on the door and I answered and asked him to come back in a little). But he seemed to be very upset, so I immediately went and put my clothes back on and tried to go find him (I also called and texted). I've texted him a few times today and Facebook messaged him and he hasn't answered. It's very obvious he's ignoring me, and I'm sure that it's because he's hurt/upset. He's very emotional and sweet and kind. I don't know what to do! I didn't do anything wrong, but I don't know what to do about the fact that he's completely ignoring me and refuses to talk to me. What do I say to him? What is he thinking? I just don't understand and it's causing me a lot of stress. | Boyfriend is seemingly upset that I hooked up with another guy even though we are in an open relationship. What do I do!? What is he thinking?! |
t3_2fax9q | jobs | New non-driving desk job requires vehicle registration and car insurance? | I have recently been hired on as a data entry clerk / receptionist. I'm working for a non-profit that works with my state's Department of Children and Families.
I will not be doing any traveling on the job. I don't own a car and I don't have car insurance. Currently, I drive my fiance's car to work and I believe his car insurance covers anyone who is actually driving the car. The car is registered under his dad.
My new boss was very annoyed that I'm not able to provide the documents they "need." They made it clear to me that if I am driving this car to work, I need to have my name registered on both the vehicle registration and on the car insurance. And that this needs to happen overnight with documentation by tomorrow. WTF?!
What am I supposed to do? Do they actually even need this and can they require this from me? Driving is not even a fucking part of my job description! This applies much more to the company's social workers that go to clients' homes, but I sit at a desk all damn day. | New entry-level desk job requires me to add my name to my fiance's vehicle registration and insurance overnight and give them proof by tomorrow. Driving is not even a fucking part of the job description. |
t3_wy6qt | AskReddit | Played Guess Who, ended in an argument with my wife. Need some support!! | Okay so we ended up playing Guess Who (the old board game) and I had asked her if the person was looking away. So she said yes and I put down everyone who were looking at you. I know this is a little of a weird question to ask, but its worked out where it takes away more than some other questions so I went with it.
Anyways, end of game comes by, I have one person remaining, I make my guess and she says no. I called her out on it and looked at the person (its Philip) and sure enough, hes looking straight at you.
Here is the card in question:
Here is Philip next to two other characters, the importance is that you can see how the majority of people on the board are at least sitting straight, where you can see Philip isn't. And you can compare the size of their turtle necks on either side (and ears).
It turned into a joking debate with friends and family, asked around 30 people so far, and everyone is agreeing with her, that Philip is looking away.
Here is my argument: Look at two things, his right ear and the right side of his neck (the turtle neck). If you compare them to the other side, you can see that hes not sitting straight, more like hes sitting a little crooked and looking across his body, straight ahead.
Looking to hear what you think!! | Played Guess Who, asked wife if the person was looking at her and not off the card, she said no, ended up making the wrong guess, looked at her card and argued that the person was looking straight ahead. |
t3_vy04q | dating_advice | [28 M] need help with courting a girl I've been into for 2 years. | Thanks for taking the time to read, I don't have any personal friends that I can ask for advice and my family seems set on me dating girls way out of my league.
I have been visiting a cafe near my home for roughly 2 years, sometimes every day for weeks at a time. In addition to their cost effective pile of great food I can look forward to, I have been infatuated with the daughter of the owner for the entire time.
I have purposely averted getting into relationships with other girls because I think about her literally every day.
So why haven't I asked her out? Well the main deterrent has been my consistent patronage with almost zero dialogue, her family (mum and 2 daughters) have been very kind to me but I am almost always quiet in addition to giving my order and saying thanks as I leave. I feel like if I just suddenly said " so, what are you doing after work? " it might be just a little too weird.
I am also uncertain of her age, relationship status and really anything about her, all I know is that I can't make eye contact for longer then a second with her, and think about her all the fucking time. I went there with a friend once and he said that she was full on staring at me while I was eating " in a daze " but that's essentially all I have to work with and she could have been thinking about an order she just made or something.
The last time I got into a girl like this, 2 years of festering feelings wound up with her never talking to me again when I confessed my feelings, I don't think the cafe girl would be that cold, but it's tough to be optimistic. | 2 years of hidden feelings, finally feel like it's time to try and make it happen. Complete failure at courting girls. |
t3_2behhv | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of 8 months, we broke up and I don't know how to handle it. | I actually don't know if this is the correct subreddit, I'm sorry if not.
I met my ex last summer in our university and we got together quite fast together afterwards since we both felt a pretty close connection towards each other.
We study both computer science in the same university, in the same semester. Since we both lived in dorms back then and wanted and didnt like it in there we decided to move in together (we already thought about looking for a common place before we got together).
As time flew by she realized more and more that she doesn't love me as much as she thought she would in the beginning. The last two months she basically only treated me like we already broke up, but she didn't do it. I couldn't handle that situation any longer, told her so and we broke up.
Now I'm here, 2 weeks after our break up and I'm basically a wreck. Since we knew each other I didn't have much free time due to studying so I spent every free moment I had with her. Therefore I don't have any good friends in this new town. She decided it would be the best to ignore each other as much as possible, which is probably the best idea, but since we live together I still see her on a regular basis and I just can't stop thinking about her.
I try to convince myself that I'm better off without her but it just doesn't work. We will probably live together until November/December, since we both work during summer and in October starts the new semester so we decided to wait until the mentioned months.
She wasn't my first girlfriend so I don't know why I react that way now, I hope you guys can somehow help me and give me tips how to get over her.
I started working out on a regular basis but that distracts me only for a few hours. | moved in with girlfriend too fast and we broke up. 2 weeks after the break up I still feel awful since I never had any similar feelings towards a previous girlfriend. |
t3_2hvkl9 | relationships | I'm [20m] in a pickle, and he [20m] is offended. | About two weeks ago this guy (Zach) started showing interest in me, and at first I wasn't sure if I felt the same... Then I did. Within a few days I was pretty much crushing hard on this guy.
Then it happened. Someone far less mature than me decided to write "I WANT YOUR SEX" on his fucking car and he decided it was me. One of our mutual friends told me what was going on, since Zach never approached me about it or asked me anything.
So I approached him on Facebook (yeah I'm a coward), I told him how I found out, and then explained that it wasn't me. He just sort of laughed it off. But the awful part is ever since this happened, he's been totally turned off. He no longer shows any interest in me at all, if anything he's put off by me.
The main evidence for his disdain and the climax of my issues is that I ASKED FOR HIS PHONE NUMBER at a party the night that his car was written on, (before I knew anything about it) and he laughed in my face. We were both getting pretty drunk/whatever and having a great time with our friends... Then he just laughs in my face.
What do I do?? Should I keep trying or is all hope lost? I really like him, halp. | Blamed for an act of unkindness I didn't commit and my arche love interest hates me for it. ): |
t3_2e1ffb | relationships | I need help breaking up with my live in girlfriend please. Both 25f | We have been friends for a very long time and together for a couple of years. She is absolutely in love with me but I don't feel the same. We get along great and barely fight but there is something big missing that I am not getting out of this and it is eating at me. I know i am not happy in my relationship and this is a very hard decision but I need to do it because of many reasons. It's going to be hard enough that she is so in love with me but she also depends on me for rides to and from work everyday. She refuses to get her license and if I break up with her then she will not go to work, and she will lose her job. Probably go into a deep depression. I dont want to ruin her life by breaking up with her but i dont want to stay with her out of pity. I need advice :/ | GF depends on me and I don't want to ruin her life by breaking it off but I want to be happy. |
t3_20pwvy | relationships | Me [28 M] with my old friend [26 F] should I rekindle her old crush? | I (28M) am about to finish my last semester in college. (I returned to pursue another degree, hence the old age.) I was recently invited to my hometown, which is fairly nearby, to visit with some old high school buddies. Both are females that I was close to during high school and the early parts of my first college. One has since become engaged, the other (26F) was someone I had a rather flirtatious friendship with, although things were never seriously pursued due to other relationships at the time. She did admit that she had a crush on my in high school.
She has been in long term relationships for most of her life and has lately been attempting to pursue a casual situation with a fellow she recently met. She has already indicated some issues with this guy and him lying about minor things, which says to me that she's unable to keep things just casual.
My question is two-fold. First, I hear that old high school crushes tend to linger on and should I consider trying to rekindle those old flames? Second, if so, what would be a good method of convincing her to abandon the apparently failing casual situation and consider trying something more dependable with me? | She had a crush in HS, and I think it's time for us to consider something serious instead of outside casual scenarios. Opinions/Suggestions? |
t3_1gre2q | needadvice | Moral Dilemma of The first world: Culture vs. Personal Gain | i bought two books fathers day at Barnes and Nobles, [The Reluctant Fundamentalist] and [As I Lay Dying]. Just finished Freshman year of college and i've been reading mostly young adult thriller types of books, with only a few exceptions. I thought i'd take it up a notch and read a classic and like a-not-so-exciting-read-but-semi-interesting-movie story possibly based off a true one.
Now i realized i that i miss being into intense stories so i said fuggit i kind of want to return them for my money back, but then thought that i like supporting book stores because they're gunna be gone in the future i bet, and that i want to have a sick library when i have my own place and maybe i'd read them when it feels better or later in life or even to just have some diversity in my library. | kinda wanna return books i bought vs. give a dying company some business/have diversity on my shelf and read them later perhaps |
t3_1u7b1n | relationships | My [28/F] boyfriend [22/m] changed his profile pic to a picture of him and two other girl friends | My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months and things have been going really, really well. I love him immensely and he's so sweet and adorable and he is the nicest guy I've ever been with. I feel like I can tell him anything.
We've been apart for the holidays and he ended up going to a few parties with some friends from high school he hasn't seen in a while. He texted me during these parties and I told him to not stay on the phone with me but to go be with his friends, but he said he wanted to text me because he wished I was there and is future-talking (about me meeting his family and making plans a couple months down the line) and is picking me up at the airport when I get back.
However, this morning I woke up and he had changed his profile pic from the two of us to one with him and two girls who are his friends. I had told him he looked so hot in that pic the night before and then I woke up to it. I wasn't sure what to think, but one friend of mine says its not respectful and another one says it's not a big deal.
I don't want to bring it up because I know I have trust and security issues as I've been cheated on in the past and left out of the blue in relationships I perceived to be okay. We had one mini-fight and it ended in me in tears realizing I was being oversensitive because of my issues. I'm working on them and I don't want to micromanage his female relationships, just like I wouldn't want him to micromanage my male relationships. This is why I don't want to bring it up because I don't want to look crazy/like it is a big deal when my gut tells me he wasn't even thinking when he did it. I was looking at his old pictures and he did have a picture up with him and one of his girl friends whilst he was with his old girlfriend so maybe he just doesn't see it as an issue.
What do you guys think? Should I say something or leave it alone? My gut says to leave it alone because it isn't a big deal. | Boyfriend and my relationship is going really well in every aspect, but he changed his profile picture to him and some girls he's known for many, many years. |
t3_1otcsu | relationships | My gf 26f is going to break up with me 20m but I'm still in love with her. | This girl and I although, not an official couple, have been seeing each other for several months now. She has moved about 1 hour away from me a few months back, and works 7 days a week at four jobs, making seeing each other difficult. Whenever the opportunity would arise, I'd make it a point to see her, calling out of work, skipping class, and borrowing cars if mine was in the shop.
Whenever we would be together, everything seemed perfect, all the "coupley" things would happen, holding hands, kissing, what not, but afterwards she'd get distant for about a week or so (nearly no contact, if any). She told me her ex had hit her on more than one occasion, a couple of which she need to go to the ER for help.
This pass week she had been distant again after our last date, and on my birthday, she didn't call, or even send a "hey happy birthday." Even though its extremely petty, i was pretty hurt, so i sent a long text bringing up how she always gets distant, and how it felt like she was just playing me. After several hours, she said that its not a game to her, but that she thinks we should concentrate on our separate lives and how shes not ready for those feelings.
Im going to see her tomorrow after she gets out of work, and i know exactly what to expect, but I know I love her, and have for weeks. Im pretty sure theres no way to salvage this immediately, but how could i go about keeping in contact with her, and potentially keeping her part of my life? | Girl out of abusive relationship says she isn't ready to feel "those" feelings yet, but I love her, and dont want to lose her. |
t3_2kugs3 | relationships | How do I make my(23m) roommate(26m) stop talking too much without hurting his feelings? | I started rooming with this guy a few months ago. My boyfriend vouched for him and said he was pretty cool.
But whenever I am in the common area of the house he talks to me about random things. If we are talking he will change the subject at hand to some bizarre theory of his even if we are talking about something important such as rent.
He doesn't have a filter to his thoughts and says whatever pops into his head at the moment. It doesn't matter what I am doing. This has had the added side effect of preventing me from talking to him about anything personal(for fear he might tell someone else) and I avoid being near him now. | Roommate talks constantly and it's getting on my nerves. How can I stop it without hurting his feelings? |
t3_3h8v2i | tifu | TIFU By Following A Stranger In New York | When I was very young, I used to take trips to New York City with my grandmother. I would always go to Time Square and walk around this general area. One day, my grandmother wore a black coat and red scarf (you can probably see where this is going), and my dumb 6 year old self goes running wildly away from my grandmother to this restaurant called Planet Hollywood, since it just looked plain awesome. Now, I see this woman in a black coat and red scarf who's saying, "Oh! Where are you! Where's my baby!" She then says, "There you are!" to me and forcefully grabs my hand. This lady then starts wacking me on the hand saying, "Don't you ever leave like that again!" When I realize that she's not my grandmother, I kick her. Yes. I kicked this woman. I start biting this lady's hand and screaming, "Help!" She then slaps me across the face. I start crying and I keep wacking the hell out of this lady until my grandmother finally finds me. After this maniac struggles to get me, she finally realizes that I'm not her child. She then yells at my grandmother, "You have to help me find my baby!" My grandmother and I then ran away, and I now had to wear a backpack with a leash in New York. | Thought that a woman was my grandmother. Had a round of kickboxing with her. Turns out that she lost her kid and I eventually was rescued by my grandmother. |
t3_wynqz | AskReddit | The small no-kill shelter I adopted my cat from had 17 dogs dumped there just today. They're at breaking point, does anyone have any ideas about something I, or anyone else, could do to help? | The text posted was this "***URGENT***
We are at situation critical here friends. We aren't doing a paws out the door this week; there have been only a couple of adoptions but again we have been absolutely slammed with dumpings and surrenders. In 1 day alone we had 17 dogs come in…we have not gone a day without getting a dog in for over a week. Despite begging people to please understand and be patient, their need to get rid of their animal is obviously so much more important than the fact we have nowhere to put them as they are waiting until the Boss has gone in the house and either dumping them out the front or chaining them to the fence…I think at the last count the Boss had about 20-odd dogs living in the house with her purely because every single kennel is full and many are doubled up.
You may notice that we haven't uploaded any new photos in a while? Well that is because there are SOOOOOOOOO many dogs that our first priority has to be taking care of their primary needs; time for taking photos is a luxury we simply don't have right now but rest assured our numbers have doubled, the adoptions are down and if you like what we do and what us to keep doing it then we seriously, genuinely need help to find homes. We have about half a dozen new residents to list tonight and will also be adding them to this main album…even if you don't normally share, please we are pleading with you; please, please, please share. We like to think of ourselves as camels in the desert for these animals but everyone knows you can only load a camel up with so many straws before the back will break…" | They need help and I don't live nearby to volunteer, nor can I adopt anymore dogs as I already have two. Does anyone have any ideas at all? |
t3_22f1ye | self | (Serious) I want to ask people's advice. I'm ashamed and embarrassed on who I am. I don't know how to change my persona and I'm tired of feeling miserable and a nobody. | I don't feel like I'm the guy I wanted to be. I feel embarrass of the guy who I am or I see myself as today.
I see myself as a uninteresting 16 year old guy (lives in Compton California) who does nothing all day everyday and has about a few friends who I chat with every now I then. It puts me down. I'm shy, have social anxiety, insecure, and nearly to no confidence for myself.
I use to always have an urge to hang with a friend or be out of the house and try to do something fun before the day ends.
I always wanted a group of friends and get invited to a social gathering or event every now and then. I want to feel confident about my appearance. Be Casanova . Be a fun interesting person to talk too and have people want to hang or chat with me.
Since I don't have any hobbies or interests and get shy and nervous on what to say in person, I can't seem to get out there and try anymore.
I tried picking up a hobby like guitar or drawing but I can't get into them and stay wanting to do this. I feel boring that I don't feel like I'm a person to get too know.
And then at times I feel like I have to make myself appear a certain way to keep myself coming off needy and a weird person.
I honestly don't know what I want or need to do to feel happy about myself or who i am. I'm failing high school and don't what's my plan on being able to have a place on my own and able to feed myself every day. School makes my anxiety rise and can never focus or stay determined to work. In this small continuation school I go too. I stand alone during a 40 Min lunch and don't have anything to occupy myself with to avoid being seen and known as the one weird loner. Had a couple girls laugh at my face seeing how lonely I am. | I'm ashamed and embarrassed who I found myself to be. Not happy with myself. Point where I don't know how to make myself be more confident, social, interesting, fun, self esteem. |
t3_33nq13 | tifu | TIFU by turning my room into a shrine for flies | I threw banana peel into the bin in my bedroom and a few days later, went on holiday for 2 weeks and forgot about it. Upon my return I was greeted by a horde of flies that had infested my desk (my bin was below the desk). Imagine bees near a honeycomb and multiply it by 100.
Took me an hour to work out that it was the multiple rotting banana peels in my bin that caused the infestation. The FU didn't even end there. A few days after I got rid of the infested pests I tried to play my Xbox 360. I managed about 15 minutes of gameplay before it RROD and shut down. Sent it off to Microsoft to get repaired and they sent me a letter yesterday saying that it overheated due to 'infestation damage'. The flies had crawled into the fans in my 360 and jammed it up :| | Threw banana peels in my bin and left for two weeks. Came back to a horde of flies which had taken over my room and penetrated my Xbox fatally |
t3_gcqc7 | relationships | So I completely violated my SO's privacy and read her FB messages while I was drunk. Learned a few things I didn't want to know and I'm not sure what I should do. | I'm 22 [M] and she's 20 [F]. We've been together exclusively for 6 months but have been hooking up/dating for about 3-4 months before that. Neither of us are in school.
Short story: I was day drinking at my girl's place over the weekend and she left with her friend to get some food while I stayed behind because I didn't feel to great. I noticed her facebook was up and decided to start looking around (I feel absolutely terrible for doing this). I found a message thread in her inbox between her and a good guy friend of her's that she said she used to have a really big thing for so I read it.
There were a lot of messages from her saying how badly she wanted him to come see her and how he decided to cancel some planned visit (they live a few hours away from each other) because she had a boyfriend (me) and none of that bothered me because it was all from the very beginning of our relantionship/when we were not exclusive. Then I read one of the last messages she sent him and it was her telling him that she's very confused and that she really likes both of us and she would be worried about what happened if he did come and visit.
Why was this message more concerning than the others? It was sent to him only a few weeks after she first told me she was in love with me (she was the first to say it if that matters at all). I love this girl but I can't not be worried about this guy and her feelings for him. I'm not really sure if I should bring this up at all with her or just forget about it. She's always telling me about how she's never been so into a guy before but now I find myself doubting her. | I fucked up and did something really stupid. Learned some things that I didn't want to know (though they may not even be something I should be concerned about). What to do? |
t3_2g105m | relationship_advice | How can I [26/m] demonstrate/communicate to the girl [28] I've been seeing for about 6 weeks that I am committed to getting back in good shape before she loses interest? | A little over two months ago I got really lucky and connected with this girl at a party of a mutual friend's. We've now been seeing each other regularly for about 6 weeks. She's extremely successful, ambitious, driven, beautiful, and has a bodacious bod.
I'm 6'4", with a naturally athletic build, but have not been as diligent as I could/should have been for the past year, and am about 25 pounds over the weight I'd like to be (230 v. 205). It's not that I'm not active, I ride my bike to work and back every day, along with an extra couple of 30-mile rides to keep my cardio decent. I play basketball a couple times a week as well. My primary problem is that I really enjoy beer and snack a bit too much.
Recently, she's made a couple of hinting comments about how much value she places on being healthy. I realize that I can't make the transformation overnight, but I've wanted to get back in shape for a while, and am just a bit afraid that I won't be able to get there in time for her to be fulfilled.
I'm sick of being lazy and am finally motivated, but how can I most effectively communicate my intentions without sounding like an insecure wuss? | I want to Chris Prattercize myself and am hoping the girl I just started seeing doesn't bolt before the transformation is complete, how can I effectively address this with her? |
t3_2w8hgk | relationships | I [25 M] met a girl [29] about a month a go. We hit it off strong and our relationship is great...however I am not sure anymore. | So I am a ballroom dance instructor. I met her at a dance on a Saturday night out of state. I danced with all the ladies there, her a little more because she was younger than most. She's not my typical type, but she is cute. I was a gentleman, asked for her number at the end of night and traveled back home. Tuesday I texted her and we started talking a lot.
Fast forward and here I am wondering what the hell to do. She is totally into me. I have had a few major relationships including a 3.5 year engagement before, so I am not clueless as to how all this works. We have not had sex or anything more than kissing...which I am fine with. It's hard to explain but I am content taking this slow...but I really don't know what to do. She'd be a great woman to have around. She has a million qualities that I want. She can sing, she can dance, she can play piano. She is intelligent. Has a well paying career, from what I can guess.
Also since my last break up I have built up a strong professional front. I will totally admit that I am afraid to let it down for most people especially her. Honestly reddit, I am just confused and scared and unsure of whether or not I should continue this relationship romantically...I'd like to keep her as a friend at least. We live an hour and 20 minutes apart. We have seen each other almost ever weekend. I don't know why I am doing any of this either. I bought her a nice little bouquet for flowers and I don't know why I did that either...so any words of wisdom. I just need to hear some insight. | Girl is into me more than I am into her. I do like her and don't want to lose this new relationship but I am really unsure how to proceed. |
t3_4lyqjz | self | I hate this so much. | Finals suck ass. My awful procrastination habit sucks ass. I suck ass. Everything sucks major ass, and most of it is my fault. My parents are trying to cheer me up by telling me how they got by fine and they were total slackers in high school.
Haha, the fun part is, they sent me to a pretty good school (or at least much better than some of the local options). I can't really afford to fuck up, (which is more or less something they've told me to be so). The only things keeping me sane are dumbass dat boi memes and a perler bead sprite I made.
Fuck me. I'm super keyed up right now and I'm procrastinating out of sheer panic. Fuck me. I'm probably going to give myself high blood pressure or something. I'm fucking losing it. It's weird because I don't get stressed easily.
But it's becoming apparent that once I do, I go off the fucking deep end. All the things I'm turning in are shit, and I probably can't afford that. I don't want to do this anymore but everyone's telling me "Only 6 more days!". I don't even know when the semester ends. I couldn't tell you, I know jack shit about what's going on when. I have a French final tomorrow. Si je me reveille demain, ca sera horrible. C'est la vie ou quelque chose.
All of my coping mechanisms are sort of fucking falling through. All my favorite songs aren't doing anything. Any other distractions make me feel guilty because I know there's shit that I'd be much better served doing. | I'm fucking losing it. I don't get stressed easily but once I do, I go straight off the fucking deep end. |
t3_3gffri | tifu | TIFU: By forgetting to lock my car doors. [NSFW] | As many of these posts go, this did not happen today, but a few years ago when I was in high school.
Alright, so my ex-boyfriend and I were constantly as horny as a couple of rabbits. We both came from typical strict southern homes, which meant we could not get away with much at home. So naturally, we always hooked up in parking lots around our town. One night, we had just reclined the seats and started with our routine. Everything was going smoothly, clothes were discarded and it was getting hot and heavy, when suddenly the side door whipped open. A small asian women started to scream obscenities at us, seeming to think I was a mistress fucking her husband. She kept yelling for me to detach myself from her husband, and that I was a dirty fucking whore, etc. She then climbed into the car, about to start attacking us when she realized it was just two shell shocked naked teenagers fucking around. She wordlessly exited the car and sprinted away. I just kinda sat there for a moment and then tried to keep going. But my ex was too upset to continue, he was such a pussy. | Forgot to lock car doors while fucking around, small asian woman opened up my car and thought I was fucking her husband. |
t3_2kt385 | relationships | My friends [20s F] and our acquaintance [20F] keeps asking for notes when she does not go to class! | I'm using a throwaway just in case!
So I am in a relatively small program at a college. I primarily hang out with two other girls named Sarah and Josephine. Josephine acquired Laura as an acquaintance who became ours and will sit with us on the rare occasions she comes to class. The problem is that Laura never comes to class yet expects us to give her the notes. Her excuse for not coming to class is that she lives 30 minutes away walking (she can take the bus its included in our tuition).
So last year, Laura was in the same boat and would first ask Josephine for notes but Josephine would take her notes by hand so then for Laura to get the notes she'd have to come to campus. Then she asked Sarah for notes and a few times last year Sarah said okay and gave the notes to her. This year, its happening again. We have tests all next week which she has none of the notes for and asked Josephine for notes who again, since didn't have any digital copies couldn't send and is now asking Sarah! She asked Sarah over facebook and Sarah hasn't opened up the message. Sarah has no idea what to do. I don't think it's right to send her the notes when we go to class, but I have no idea how we can say no. | Girl that never comes to class is asking for class notes and we don't want to give it to her. What should we say? |
t3_h7iv0 | relationships | Hey, second chances, how do they work? | All right, I am a 35 year old jerk of a male who didn't tell the person I was going out with that I have Hep B until two months into some very intimate "courting". We had been friends before that for almost 2 years. Now I pretty much knew they had the vaccine, it's been required to even attend school for like the last decade, and they were in grade school during the last decade. Also they went to grade school in Australia, one of the first places to start vaccinating for Hepb. Anyway, we moved kindah quick and before I could have my little cootie talk with them, we sealed the deal. Pent up for like two years and we rushed. There was like a 10% chance they didn't have the vaccine. I played the odds.
But. . .
All the while we were going out, anytime we went somewhere, Duran Duran's "Please Please, Tell me now!" would be on the radio in the background. Restaurant, club, gas station, everywhere. I got guiltier and guiltier and finally told them.
They was vaccinated but they were pissed (rightly so). This was six months ago, we've hung out since then a bit in group settings, but the one time we hung out alone they let it be known they didn't see me that way anymore.
I, in a fit of passion, fucked up and lost my moral compass. I really don't know how to express this without feeling like a completely calculating asshole. I finally found someone that I can be friends with and also care about in more than a friend way. I really want to turn everything back to 8 months ago. But short of that I just want a second chance. I didn't mean to be such a creep.
How do I get her back? | I am an asshole that hid a very important part of his true identity. How can I convince the woman that I am now on the up and up and I want to come back inside now? |
t3_2tn5z6 | relationships | I'm [16 M] in love with a girl that is probably lesbian... | I've known her for almost 2 years, I met her in a psychiatry and we share the same disorder.
She's never been in a relationship from what I heard.
She's pretty, has sense of humour, has the same hobbies as me and she's also very intelligent.
I already told her once that I loved her, but she responded with ''I don't know that to say, I feel nothing. It's not because of you, it's because of me''
She also told me that she's afraid, that our friendship would be in danger.
I don't know what to do, it hurts to be with her and having the thought, that she'll never be mine.
Should I break contact?
I'm just confused. | Told girl I love her, she told me she doesn't feel anything for me and that she's probably lesbian. |
t3_h8lqt | AskReddit | What grown-up things did your parents/aunts/uncles/adults in your life never tell you and you had to learn on your own? | For me:
+ Dilute the bleach when using it for general cleaning purposes (otherwise the possibility of accidentally killing yourself in an embarrassing way is very high)
+ Car manufacturers like to hide various parts of your car jack under the insert that you have to pull up and out to get to your spare tire.
I learned this the hard way when I blew a tire at 4 in the morning, coming home to Florida from Tennessee by myself. The wrench part of my jack was attached to the top insert of the trunk base and so I just pulled out the insert, tossed it aside and got to work with the spare. I'd never changed a tire before and was a little panicked. On top of this, I had failed to keep a flashlight in my car for emergencies (something else I had to learn the hard way). I was using my cell phone for light, but obviously looking in all the wrong places for the damn crank.
Since I found the main part of the jack but not the crank, and the tire iron was too big to use as a crank, I jacked my entire car up using..... drum roll.... a ball point pen. I put it through the crank slot and turned it roughly 1,000 times to get the jack elevated enough to lift my car. When the jack had weight on it, it became increasingly difficult, but I managed. When I was finished, I just threw everything, including the insert, back into my trunk. When sorting it out later, I found the crank. Good information to have. | Do a dry run of changing a blown tire in broad daylight so you're prepared to do it at 4am miles away from home/help. |
t3_4ajj0x | relationships | Me [26 M] dating female [23 F] who would not commit, so I broke it off after 4 months. Now she wants to date... | Hello Reddit,
I met this girl in November and instantly had the biggest crush on her. I asked her to go on a date and she skirted the topic. Eventually, she opened up that she got out of an extremely long relationship and wasn't quite ready for anything new. I accepted that and moved on. However, we found ourselves at a mutual party a few weeks later and ended up kissing. I asked her out again and she said yes. Over the next three months, it was a constant struggle to get her to hang out. She was always constantly busy and putting up barriers. We would see each other 1-2 times a week for a couple hours but it was always such a process. I began to feel like she wasn't as into the relationship as I was so I asked her how she felt about us. She said that she wasn't sure what she wanted, so I took a step back. After that, she pushed forward and began to try to hang out more often. We started to see each other pretty regularly, but she still could not commit to what she wanted out of this relationship. After about 3 months of this, I had finally had it. I told her that our emotional needs were not compatible and that things weren't going to work out.
Skip to now, about a week and a half passes and she wants to talk. I tell her that we have discussed everything that needs to be said. After that, she sends me this large text about how she wants to date me and would hate to lose me, etc. etc.
Now, I am so confused. On one hand, a relationship is what I wanted out of this girl, but I am weary this is just her reacting to me leaving her. Furthermore, the way she treated me during those 3 months, as if my needs came second, really turned me off of the whole thing. Part of me still wants to date her, but the other part wants me to walk away and realize that things shouldn't be this complicated in the beginning stages of a relationship.
Any advice on what i should do, Reddit? | Hooking up with girl who couldn't commit, I left and now she wants to commit, but her behavior during this entire thing has me weary. |
t3_2zfwly | relationships | My girlfriend's [26F] parents [61M, 51?F] just told her I [39M] am much too old for her. | My girlfriend and I met through family friends a year and a half ago. We've been dating since then, and things have been great. Early on I asked her almost every week if the age gap made her uncomfortable, and she always would say no. She definitely "wears the pants" in our relationship, and I almost never feel like I'm making her do something she doesn't want to do. The age gap used to bother me for the first 6 months of us going out, but now I completely believe 100% that she's OK with it and she loves me anyway.
...at least I did until last week. I have met her parents before, and they were always very friendly towards me (they are friends of my cousin). My girlfriend always told me that they liked me a lot, and my parents like her too. The problem is that out of the blue, they called her last week and told her I'm much too old for her and that I need to break up with her. I don't understand why they changed their minds - they have always known about our age gap. My girlfriend and I love each other dearly, and have even seriously discussed the possibility of marriage in a year or two, but she also has a lot of respect for what her parents say, and it's clear that this has got her shaken up.
I don't think the age gap is a problem - like I said, it used to bother me but I am now over it. And she never really thought it was a problem until now. I've tried telling her this and she kinda agrees, but she says that it really bothers her that her parents don't approve and that's really important to her. I don't know what changed, or how I can win their support back. Reddit, what should I do?
I should also mention that neither of us want kids, and that her parents are OK with this (her older sister has 2 adorable little children who love their grandparents very much), so that can't be the reason. Also, if it matters, I'm Indian (but born and raised in the US) and she's white. | GF is way younger than me, never bothered her before, I got over it a long time ago, but now her parents suddenly changed their minds and think I'm too old. What do I do? |
t3_36ktb5 | travel | Got screwed over by an airline oversight. What are my options? | So I booked a flight for my wife and kids to Cancun on frontier airlines four months ago on faredepot.com - a cheap ticket link I found while browsing Momondo. Well today was the day and the email reservation sent by faredepot.com listed the departure time as 6:55. However, in the 4 months, frontier moved their flight time up to 6:10. I was never informed of this change through any method. So my family and I show up too late to make the check-in. Once again, we were never informed about any time change. Calling frontier, they informed us that it was the duty of faredepot.com to email and let us know of the time change. Calling faredepot.com, they informed us that Frontier had never informed them of any time change? Is that even possible? Anyway, what are my options here? I've been sitting at the airport all day! Please help /travel! | Booked a ticket through a 3rd party, airline changed the flight time to earlier, I was never informed, missed the flight, and now I don't know what to do. |
t3_14vknu | relationships | I (f20) am saying goodbye to SO (M21) tomorrow and don't know how to deal. | I(F20) have been with my SO(M21) for a only 4 months. We were trying to not be "too serious" because he was leaving at the end of the semester to study abroad and then he is done with school. He is moving home, which is multiple states away, after he is through studying abroad. Lately things have been going fantastic, and we both are "in too deep" with each other and having a difficult time with the idea that this is it. I don't want this to be it, but I don't know how I would deal with not knowing when I will see him again.
I know I am "young" and I will "move on" but I don't necessarily want to. I am 1 year away from being done with school, and tired of the whole "oh you will find another one". I am not saying that he is THE ONE, but I feel like our time together was too short and that we have more to explore.
How can I deal with this being it? Or how could I make this work? | My(f20) SO(m21) is moving away for good (Australia, then CA), How do I deal with it, or how to I talk to him about maybe making it work? |
t3_15i3ht | relationships | I (24m) think my girlfriend (24f) is a lesbian. How should I confront her? | I bought my girlfriend an iPad for Christmas. While she was at work, I turned it on to play with it for a bit. Already open in Safari was some sort of m+f porn. No problem there, except that on the rare occasion that I ask her if she looks at porn, she says no (if she does, I'm fine with it). But then it gets more interesting.
I open the bookmarks folder, which was showing browsing history, and I notice searches for celebrity women who are notorious for wearing skimpy clothing/bikinis. At this point I didn't think too much of it. But something told me I should look around more.
I put down the iPad, went over and opened the closet, which contains a box that I know she keeps some porno DVDs in (that she claims she doesn't watch anymore). Right there, sitting on top, were a stack of Playboy magazines.
A little history about us - we've been in a steady relationship for over 4 years. We have our share of arguments/disagreements, but overall we get along. Sex is decent, although somewhat declining over the years in both quality and amount (down to 3-4 times/month). I show her a fair amount of affection which she usually enjoys, but she seems gradually more distant, but I can't quite but my finger on what it is. I know this could be conformation bias. | Found a stack of playboys in my straight girlfriend's porn collection. Also found evidence of internet searches for barely-clothed women. |
t3_4o71ht | relationships | I [23M] found out my partner [23F] of 7 months worked as a stripper. I'm not sure I'm okay with that. Not sure how to explain it to her in the right way. | My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 months. A few days ago we were chatting and she mentioned she worked as a stripper for a while when she was 21 cause she needed the money for school. It seemed like no big deal to her, she just kind of laughed it off like it was an incidental detail of her past.
Anyhow, I'm not sure I'm okay with dating someone who used to be a stripper, which is a type of sex worker.
I feel for me this might be a red flag or a dealbreaker, and I think I need to break up with her. I'm not sure how to go about doing it. What's the best way to explain it? Should I clearly mention the stripper thing? I'm worried it might hurt her feelings. | I'm not okay with the girlfriend having worked as a stripper in the past, its a red flag and a dealbreaker for me. Most likely will break up, not sure how to go about doing it the right way. |
t3_2zlv94 | relationships | Myself (18M) with my girlfriend long distance (19F) 6 months no idea what to do right now | Hello /r/relationships..my name is Tim, sure, and this is clearly a throwaway.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 months trying to make long distance work, because we both really like each other a lot. Lately I have been depressed out of my mind and it shows, and she wants to breakup with me because she thinks she cant contribute healthily to a relationship.
Nothing else in my life but her has gone right in a long time, and I cant lose her; so I am doing my best to explain that she is my world and means everything to me, though I am still waiting to say it, I know what I am going to say.
Without her I am completely lost, and I just don't know what to do if she says no.
I know, there are plenty of other girls, but to me she really is something else and losing her would absolutely break my heart. I kind of wanted somewhere to vent this..if anyone has advice, then feel free to share. Thank you for this outlet, as well. | Girlfriend I am very attached to thinks she caused my depression by not being open, now Im lost, she wants to split |
t3_1mq5p5 | relationships | Women, how do I [21M] tell a girl [21F] that I can't create a relationship with her right now without making it seem like I'm pushing her away? | Over the summer I kind of had a complete mental breakdown that made me realize I have a lot of baggage I need to deal with, so I am looking for a psychiatrist and re-entering therapy. I'm doing this for my friends, including the girl in question, that actively brought me out of that headspace.
The girl in question is a friend of a year and a half, and a mutual pursuit of a year, but because we have a lot in common (including baggage) we've only maintained a childish back and forth without creating anything serious. So at the moment, no matter how happy she seems to see me and how happy I am to see here, I don't have anything to offer her right now. Dealing with my shit leaves little room for self-esteem, and even if she understands this, a relationship isn't likely between us because I am unable to manage my end of it. At least not until I'm healthy and can handle my life.
Now I know I need to talk to her about all of this, but I want to make sure she knows that I care about her and that I want to be with her, but at the moment I can't make it happen, no matter how much I want to. How do I explain this to her without making it seem like I'm politely telling her I'm not interested? Because I want to explain all of this in a way that makes it her decision; leaving her with an option to stick around or to let go and find someone that is healthy. | How do I tell a girl that I can't be with her right now without making it seem like I'm pushing her away? |
t3_1jyt4m | Advice | Why am I a cheater? | Hi guys, so I've been dating my girlfriend about 11 months now, and I'm more in love with her every day. I can't stress it enough that I love her, I care about her, and I never want to hurt her.
Despite all this, I don't know what to blame, whether it be porn, lack of empathy, or what, but I fantasize about other women a lot. I never thought it was a big deal, guys find girls attractive, that doesn't change if you're in a relationship. Except, I found when I was drinking at a party, back in October, I was dancing with one of my girlfriend's friends, and the dancing got pretty intimate, but I had no inclination to stop it. I was obviously attracted to the girl, and in that moment, just kept dancing. It never got to the point of anything shameful, but looking back, it's definitely a time when a cheating tendency came up.
Then in June, very drunk at a party, I found myself in a bed with my girlfriend, and one of her female friends, watching a movie. I had my arms around both, nothing exceptionally sexual. My girlfriend left to go to bed, and I stayed to watch the movie. This slowly lead to being alone with the other girl, spooning and kissing her for a while. My girlfriend came down and called me up to bed, and I told her what happened in the morning.
She was devastated, as I breached the impeccably strong trust we had, but in the end, she knew it was strictly physical, and was a mistake I made, and that I love her more than anything. As of now, we've moved past it and are stronger because of it.
What I want to know though, is how to be a better man? If I put myself in her shoes, I would be disgusted with me, but yet I still have these urges. I love her, and I don't want to have fantasies about other girls, especially if it's going to make me act on them and hurt my girlfriend. I'm already cutting back on drinking, but I want to make a serious change mentally.
Sorry for wall of text, I'm kind of rambling and a little upset with myself. | I love my girlfriend but I'm physically attracted to other girls. How can I stop myself from acting on these urges? |
t3_2fkmse | relationships | I [21M] met an amazing girl [19F] at a coffee shop a week ago and shes in an awkward situation, I want to know if its worth sticking it out! | I was on my way to the city to have a nice day alone and stopped for coffee. While I was waiting this adorable little blonde comes up and sparks up some conversation. We ended up going into town together and spent the whole day having an amazing time. We've hung out almost every day since then, and we've been really connecting in unbelievable ways.
Here's the catch: she's still sleeping with her ex.
She is very expressive and great at communicating so we talked about it and she told me that if things continue working out so well between us that she will cut off her ex. I would have left as soon as I knew there was another guy, but I think she's really cool and I really like hanging out with her.
My plan right now (which we have already talked about) is to hang out like this for another week or two and see if things continue to elevate between us. If she is still sleeping with her ex by then, I'll bug out, but I don't want to leave without giving her a chance. Am I being too forgiving?
Would Reddit just leave her to her drama and now or at least hold out a little for the possibility of a relationship with an amazing girl? | Met an amazing girl at a coffee shop but she's still sleeping with her ex. Should I wait to see if we develop and she forgets about him, or just bail while I'm ahead? |
t3_293pat | relationships | I love my [26, m] wife [25, f] but want a break? | Hi, this is my first time posting so please forgive me if I mess up.
Me and my wife have been together for 5 years and married for one. She was my first girlfriend and I was her first serious relationship. Everything is apparently going great in our relationship and I love her - she's funny, smart, talented, accomplished, kind, beautiful, understanding etc. She is Kenyan and has a large family and I grew up in an abusive household, so her parents have essentially become surrogate parents to me as well. Everything is wonderful, but I can't help feeling that I want a break in our relationship, at least for a bit.
It's definitely not a problem that I have with her, because I love her, and it's not as though I don't get a lot of 'me time', since she works full time and I work from home. I'm very introverted, whereas she's not, so even when she's at home, she always gives me space if she thinks I need it, and she's always been a great judge of that. We go out quite regularly and she always sticks close by me to make sure I don't close in on myself. We share pretty much everything with each other and I honestly want kids+pets+house with a picket fence, the whole shebang with her.
Except I have this desire to be away from her for several weeks. I definitely don't intend to sleep with anyone else or try dating. I just want space.
Is this normal? Is this something that I should discuss with her as a concern? She's very understanding but I'm worried that she'll take it personally as a fault of hers, rather than mine. Is this even normal for long term couples? As I said, she was my first everything, essentially, and I know that I'm batting way out of my league and don't want to make her think that I want to experiment with others while having her as a safety net. | I love my wife, we get along great. However, I want to take a break and just move out for a while. I already have plenty of time to myself anyway. Is this normal? |
t3_20b5e7 | relationships | My [20M] girlfriend [18F]is having trouble at school and it's affecting her personally. I'm not sure how to help her. | Recently my girlfriend started taking an upgrading course ( a course that helps raising your mark if you were not satisfied with it) in English so that she can apply to college next year. She had a passing grade, but it was fairly low and she was not confident in handing it in for a college application.
I of course decided to tell her that if she needs any help whatsoever she can always come to me for help with her school work since I had higher grade in English. So she starts taking the classes and as weeks go by, I notice that she's starting to really hate attending her classes and gets irritated by her school work. I eventually find out that she's not doing well, and hoping that I can help her, I tell her that we should find time to study as soon as possible.
Now we both also work full time and while we had a couple of study sessions it's hard for us to get together a lot because of our schedules. Her parents even hired a tutor to help her out but she is still having trouble.
And now the end of her classes are coming up in about a month or so and she seems really upset and frustrated with herself due to how she's doing, and I feel powerless in helping her feel better. I tried comforting her and help her in any way I can, even trying to take her out to dinner/movies to get her mind off of it, but it's not doing a whole lot.
Is there anything I could do to help her feel better about herself? | Girlfriend is not doing good in school and gets frustrated all the time because of it. I tried helping her in any way I can think of but I can't seem to get her to feel better. |
t3_1bz97v | dating_advice | I [early 20s, M] am attracted to my best friend's sister [late teens] and I don't know what to do about it | He and I have been friends for about 10 years now and we're in our early 20s. His sister is a few years younger than us. I get along well with their family, they're practically family to me, and that's probably why I'm not sure what to do about this. I'm not afraid of being rejected and I don't care if it makes things weird between me and her... I just don't want to mess things up between me and the rest of them.
Do I give up while I'm ahead and leave things the way they are? Should I just go for it and ask her out? I've been seriously considering talking to her brother about it first, how does that idea sound? Feel free to ask me anything, I'll be answering in a way that I feel would make it impossible to figure out who anyone involved is, just in case. I really need some help here, this has been on my mind for a while. | I'm in love with my best friend's younger sister and I don't know if I should go for it or not. |
t3_m0rmf | relationship_advice | I think I may have fucked up and I don't know what to do | Last Sunday I broke up with my girlfriend of 13 months.
I am a senior in high school and I wanted to have the freedom to hook up with other girls. She had stopped being as fun as she had been when we started dating and I wasn't really enjoying the relationship anymore. I was very happy when I was around her, but whenever we were just texting I kept thinking about whether I should cut it off or not.
The day before we broke up I told her I felt this way (over text), but that I didn't know what to do and that I needed more time to think. She was fully convinced that I was going to break up with her, so the next day she told me to meet her so I could do it in person.
Since then I've been wondering whether I should get back together with her, but I've tried to stay optimistic and focus on how great life will be now that I can hook up with other girls.
Today I really thought about it and I think I really want to get back together with her. I think the issue of her not being as fun as she used to could be worked out and fixed, and I don't know if I still care about hooking up with other girls.
The dilemma is that yesterday I was happy being single but today I'm not, and I don't want to get back together with her only to go back to being unhappy in the relationship. I don't want to have to break up and make her cry again. | I'm a senior, I was in a relationship for over a year and wasn't happy in it toward the end. We broke up, now I am very confused as to what I want and will make me happy. |
t3_3o48hs | tifu | TIFU by having a night terror | Two nights ago, I ate a lot of pizza for dinner very late in the evening, like 10:30. I went to bed a half hour later. An hour later, my GF comes to bed.
At first I'm dreaming of a lovely night out by the shore with GF and her daughter, when the dream escalates to a horrific scene of carnage and sends my mind and body into a screaming rage, jolting me out of bed, screaming my lungs out and completely freaking out my GF as I begin to bolt for the bedroom door. I stopped, paused while I caught my breath, and turned toward her to see the ghastly expression of horror on her face. She had never seen anything like that before.
I've informed her of my terrors early on before we got serious, but I had never had a terror with her (nightmares, yes...awake with cold sweats, yes, but never an honest to god terror).
I know it's not really my fault because I cannot control my night terrors, but it's embarrassing none the less. | I ate too much, had a night terror, woke up and horrified my GF who had never seen anyone experience a night terror. |
t3_3dkw99 | relationships | I [24M] am still bothered by my GF's [24F] drunken NYE just days before our first real life date | So I accidentally found out from one of our mutual friends that my GF got really drunk on NYE and kissed 3 strangers. This was when we were still talking online, but we had a first date planned for a few days after. I am still bothered by this, and we've kinda discussed this, but I still have some obsessive thoughts here and there that aren't good.
Obviously, this wasn't something she ever planned to tell me, but I can't change that now. I guess I am bothered that right before our date she drunkenly was kissing strangers. We've been together for over a year now and I love her to death, but sometimes I get these unwanted mental images in my head of this night that she barely remembers.
She clearly didn't do anything wrong, as we hadn't even met face to face yet, but does anyone have any advice for easing these bad thoughts? | Recently found out my GF of over a year kissed three strangers while drunk on NYE a few days before our first real date (we did NOT even meet in real life yet when this happened) |
t3_1eu9gy | needadvice | Do I complete college, even though I am failing? or do I pursue other career choices? | Alright reddit,
I've recently been diagnosed with depression/anxiety disorder, and have begun medication and therapy for it. It's unclear how long I've been depressed, but at least long enough for me to waste 2 years doing really shitty in college. I am currently on academic suspension with a chance to appeal, but I'm not sure where I want to go with my life at this point. I have extreme issues motivating myself to go class (likely because of the depression, but I'm not sure yet) but I have to decide whether or not to appeal before I'll really get a chance to see how I perform after therapy and on my medication.
I'm facing a really tough choice. I don't know whether or not to return to college at all right now. I currently have an internship at a software development company as an assistant to the Network Manager, and I'm quite enjoying it. I've been discussing with him the possibility of becoming certified in various software applications to begin building up a resume.
The way I see it is that I can either appeal my suspension and go back to school (assuming I do better on meds) or I can pursue certifications in various networking software to build up an impressive resume and try to find a job via that route.
I want to know what you guys think about the merits of both situations, and if there's anyone out there who would know what it would be like to attempt to get a job (in networking most likely) without a degree, but with pertinent software certifications. | I fucked up my first two years of college really bad. Do I go back or try to get a job relevant to my current internship? |
t3_1mhvpo | relationships | Ah! what do I do?! M18 | I'll try and keep the story part short and simple.
There's this new girl F/16 that has just started at my work! literally, last Wednesday. And obviously the supervisor introduced her to everyone and when I saw her. Wow. She looked amazing. Heart raced abit. Not felt like this since my girlfriend of 2 years (we broke up 2 years ago, but was in a rusty relationship for 2 years)
Anyways, yesterday was our annual stock take, and I started talking to her. It was nice. I hadn't talk to someone in a long while who I didn't know. (I slightly have social anxiety) I can't tell if we hit it off! I hadn't talked to a girl I a long while (Obviously, I talk to girl customers, that's a bit different)
We was talking for a good hour about our current lives and stuff y'know. Bit of small talk.
Now at the end, I asked if she had facebook, asked for her last name and said i'll add her when I get home! Surprisingly, she added me first! :D I didn't even tell her my last name!
Now, my problem, I haven't talked to someone (especially a girl) in a long while. Probably at least a year. The only friend I have is a gaming friend who lives 200 miles away who i've known for 7 years. All we talk about is games etc.
I've kind of forgotten how to talk to a girl! What can I talk about! I really need help! She seems like a really nice girl from what I saw last night!
I would love any little bit of help that you can give me!
Thank you all! | Started talking to a girl, (I think) we hit it off, got her on facebook, not a clue what to talk about! |
t3_ss9sf | AskReddit | A college tradition/milestone is coming up for me; finishing my "beer card" for the local wing place- need to pick a quote | So I go to a very small and isolated college in the US (2000 people and no cities for 45 miles), and one of the big traditions here is to get a "beer card" from the nearest wings/pub place (40 minute drive). Basically, I had to drink fifty different beers at this restaurant (only 4 per visit) and today I'm going to finish! It's a really big deal here (especially because I'm a girl and I finished it in six months instead of the usual allotted year) and the award is a pewter mug with a special inscription on it. Here's the problem- I have no idea what to put on this mug. I want it to be awesome, bad ass, funny, and perfect. So obviously, I'm turning to reddit for help. | I drank a ton of really good beer, now I get a mug with an inscription on it. What should I inscribe? |
t3_45n7mb | relationships | My (18M) dream girls (18F) is probably loosing her mother and I don't know what to do | So I met this gorgeous wonderful girl (let's call her Katrina) on new years eve. We chatted for about a month and finally met. I took her on a date, I was really nice and fun, so the plan was to meet again.
But here comes the problem. She and her mother had an horrible accident a couple of years ago, which basically turned her entire life upside down. I wanted to surprise Katrina and visit her on Valentinsday tomorrow afternoon give her some flowers and so on but she just told me that her mother is dead sick. Her mother has got some serious brain damage resulting from the crash years ago. The doctors don't know what exactly it is. Katrina told me she already lost hope, so that is how serious it is.
She visiting the doctor on monday. I met her once and as far as she told me her mother thinks I am a pretty nice dude.
I really like Katrina, but I don't know how to handle the situation. We know each other for about one and a half months and I know I can't give her the hold she needs right now. I wrote her saying that she must not lose hope and she and her mother are strong women, but she's so desperate I'm out of ideas.
I don't want to ruin anything, so I know I have to do something but I have no idea what exactly to do. She could be the girl I was looking for so long and it is making me sick thinking about her being sad and desperate, so what do I do? | Girl I like and met six weeks ago is dealing with the possible death of her mother and I don't know what to do. |
t3_4m8n77 | relationship_advice | How do i [22/m] leave my relationship without destroying my gf [20/f]. | I have been with my girlfriend for 10 months now and at first everything was amazing and i was enjoying every second with her. I still think she is an amazing girl but i dont feel that string connection anymore. This was also my first real relationship, this makes me think that i jumped straight into a long term relationship not really wanting one. You may say "just leave, its easy" but there is one problem..
i just recently got her a job at my work so for the next month and a half she will be working with me 2 or 3 days a week. after the month and a half she will be transfering to a different location.
I dont want to keep leading her on, she is very clingy and im afraid that when i leave she is going to go back to cutting and feeling super depressed.
I feel extremely trapped and i need some advice. | 10months with girlfriend, feel trapped and i cant leave. Just got her a job working with me. Dont want her cutting, or feeling depressed if i leave. |
t3_45og4o | Advice | Need advice on juggling a busy lifestyle and managing my time. | I've been in this rut now for a number of years. I'm way overdue and overhaul as my current lifestyle is making me pretty miserable but I really have no clue where to start.
I work evenings, 6pm-6am thu-sun for many years now. Naturally this has had a devastating effect on my social life. I have lost touch with many friends to the point where they rarely bother contacting me now because I'm never available to do things. Changing jobs is not an option, I'm working I a family business and we share the work out between us. I do get the raw end of the deal in terms of shift pattern but there is not anyone else who can really do what I do, so it's just one of those things.
At home my SO is at university part time and we have two young children and a puppy! So we are both very busy trying to juggle chores, bath time etc.
So, basically I spend my weekends either sleeping or working. Through the week I'm with my children when my partner is at uni, by the time the evening comes we are both pretty tired and don't feel like doing too much.
I really wish I had a better social life and see friends more. Tbh it's got to the point where I probably need to find friends again! It gets to me more than I'd care to admit but don't really see much I can do right now?
More importantly I want my SO and I to do more together, enjoy things more and have fun. It seems like we are starting to bicker more because we are both pretty stressed out and tired a lot of the time. Having two young children and a fairly hectic lifestyle is obviously tough and I assume things will get better once the kids are in school but is there anything I can be doing in the meantime to improve things a little?
Going back to my work, it's definitely the main constraint on my time, but I have tried getting to work other hours but it's not really possible and I care about the business a lot, it is successful and I'm very loyal. I would hate to have to leave and find other employment and without any real quals it's not really a viable option anyway. | need tips on managing my time as I have a pretty full plate and not much time left for myself or maybe just a way to not sleep or something... |
t3_rzfk8 | AskReddit | Reddit, what's the rudest behavior you've ever seen during a performance? (movie, concert, opera, play, etc.) | When I was 14, I went to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in the theater on opening day. Halfway through the movie, this woman's phone rings. Now, this has happened a lot in other movies I've been too and usually the person will hastily turn it off, perhaps offer a few apologies and everyone moves on. Not only did this woman not do that, she did pretty much the exact opposite. She picks up the phone and starts having a conversation **in the theater.** At first, no one said anything because I guess the bystander effect. Then after about 30 seconds, someone asked the lady if she could please turn it off; the lady ignored her. Then 15 seconds later someone (much angrier) said, "LADY TURN YOUR FUCKING PHONE OFF!" The woman gets off the phone and says "Why don't you come up here and take it from me?" At this point the whole theater goes berserk and starts shouting the vilest obscenities at this woman. It gets so bad that they stop the movie and escort her out while she curses and screams the whole way down. The manager comes in right after, hastily apologizes, and offers us a coupon for free popcorn. Everyone wildly cheers and the movie starts back up without further interruption. | Woman starts talking on phone in middle of "Harry Potter" on opening day. The movie gets stopped and she gets kicked out, we get free popcorn. |
t3_539kjj | relationships | Me [29 M] with my gf [28f] of a few months: she said she doesn't care if I sext other women and that has me confused. | Sexting has always been a big thing for me. Like, when I was younger and dumber, it was a thing I ruined a relationship for. I'm not proud of that or bragging, I'm just saying it's something nearing a kink for me. I love talking to people I find attractive and swapping pics with them, whether I'm taken or not.
I've been seeing this fantastic lady for 2-3 months now and I was just up front about this. She said she didn't care at all, as long as it wasn't leading to me going around sexing up the town. Cut and dry.
So yesterday someone I had a thing with a while ago wanted someone to send her some dirty texts to take her mind off her shitty day (her brother tried to kill himself in the military). I saw no reason not to and it was fun to do the text-Dom thing, etc.
But afterwards I felt pretty confused. I'm not even sure why. Is it possible I'm just conditioned to feel shitty because every other time I've done this I should have felt guilty? Or is it because this is someone I was close to? What scares me most is maybe I don't like sexting, maybe I like the thrill of deceit :(
It might be relevant to mention that she and I have a D/s relationship | GF said she doesn't care if I dirty text other women, but when I did I felt pretty shitty about it. |
t3_yw22i | relationships | I (m23)think my friend's (f23) male friend is a complete asshole. Is it socially acceptable for me to tell her? | This past summer I've hung out in the same social circle as my friend, whom we can call Rachael, and we have really grown to enjoying each other's company, even doing things one on one. I am not interested in this girl in a date-y kind of way. We have a friendship chemistry that I really enjoy and would never want to mess that up.
During this summer, she has been hanging out with and fucking this guy from out of town, whom we will call James, and I think he is a complete and utter asshole. He makes sexist and racist comments constantly. He has graduated college but all he is doing is living off his parents and selling drugs. He subtly puts people down (inlcuding Rachael herself).
I cannot for the life of me understand what she sees in him and I hate being around him. But, I know I am not alone in these thoughts. At least one other person (f21) in the group that feels the same way I do.
I'm a fairly certain that if this were a guy friend with a bitchy female fuck buddy I would want to speak up in the same way. Am I wrong at all for feeling like I should say something? Is this just not a thing that is socially acceptable? Is there any way I could broach the subject? Am I a bad person for wanting to help her or at least figure her out? | I(m22) think my friend(f22) has a fuck buddy that is an asshole whom I cannot stand being around, and I know other people feel the same way so I want to tell her |
t3_fle1n | self | Reddit, I'm scared and need some answers/advice | So the other night (Saturday) I was at my friends' college partying (drinking/smoking), I was fine the entire night until I got back to my friends' apartment where we proceeded to smoke a blunt. About a half hour after the blunt was finished, my anxiety went sky high and my heart started beating faster than it had ever before. Now I've been dealing with anxiety for years, so at first it was nothing out of the ordinary, but then my heart started to legit HURT while it was pumping incredibly fast and abnormally. I basically started freaking out and told my friend that my "chest hurt and I don't know what's going on". He told me it was probably just a panic attack and to calm down. I eventually calmed down and fell asleep, but ever since then my heart feels weird. It doesn't hurt per say, but I am definitely feeling a sensation that I've never felt before every now and then throughout the day. What could be the problem here? Do you think it's just that my heart over-exerted itself and is now "aching"?
Thanks in advance for your help and advice. | I think I had a panic attack, my heart hurt during it, and now it still feels odd to me. Need advice/answers. |
t3_wd1w0 | dogs | What breed of dog should I be looking to get? | Hello Reddit;
My town home owner has finally agreed to allow a dog in the house. Ever since I was 3 years old I've had a love for Irish Wolfhounds. However, my current living situation would not be a great environment for one; small yard.
In the past I've owned a Black Lab, and a Border Collie, loved both of them. My lab, Hamilton (RIP), passed away peacefully, and my Collie was given to my cousin when I had to move across the country (5 years ago), unfortunately she passed away as well.
I love, Irish Wolfhounds, Collies, Rottweilers, Staffordshire Terriers/Bull Dogs, | My question to you is; What breeds would you suggest for a healthy life in a 2500 ft^2 town home with a small yard. |
t3_2wiy1b | relationships | My (F24) fiance (M27) gave away $170,000 to pay for another woman's education. Should this be a deal breaker? | A little background we have been together for two years, engaged for nine months. Money has been tight and we do share some of our income and expenses. We've been planning our wedding but it has gone slow because of money being tight. He didn't pay off the 8,000 credit card debt he's been working on. He didn't pay off his car.
He was out on a boys night and won 175,000 at a casino on a poker hand on a slot machine. He came home drunk and happy and took me out to dinner the next night to celebrate at my favorite restaurant. I thought our wedding would finally be taken care of, and maybe our honeymoon too.
Next thing I know the money is gone to pay for tuition for this single mother. I asked him about her and he said he doesn't personally know her, and had no hand in picking her as beneficiary cause he set up an endowment and I don't know what that means.
I don't know if this is a sign of things to come. It's irresponsible to not even pay off your own debt before paying some girl's tuition. I'm not sure what to expect from him anymore.
I asked him what this was about and he doesn't say much other than we don't need the money that bad. But we kind of do. He was contacted by this girl and he didn't say much about what she said. This all seems very odd behavior to me. I asked him why and he won't say anything other than it's okay we'll be fine. I just want to know what he's doing and why. | My fiance gave away his winnings for a single mom he claims to not know. I asked him why and he won't talk about it. |
t3_2tb37x | tifu | TIFU by taking my son to school | So a little background. I live in a small town in Canada, everyone knows everyone (throwaway for good measure). It's cold, gross and snowy. Last night was really warm (+4C) so this morning it was super icy. I've also got the flu, pajamas are non negotiable, comfort before style.
Fast forward to this morning, doing the regular routine with my son. Jacket, boots, mitts and toque, BACKPACK! We hop into the car and away we go. My stomach starts to hurt, anyone within a 10 mile radius would be able to hear my stomach. Take him into his classroom around 8:15, get him settled, hug and kiss, love you buhbye.
Get out of the school and turn my saunter into a slight jog, at this point my tummy is starting to make my eyes water. Well, I'm sure everyone can guess what goes down next...
In my haste to get back to my car my foot gets caught in my pajamas (the baggier the better), my other foot hits a patch of ice and down I go. So now, I am laying here with a face full of snow, my pajamas came down in the fall, and you remember that stomach ache? Well it manifested itself into a shit rocket upon impact.
I think it is time to move schools, towns, countries even. | Have the flu, icy outside. Took son to school and gave my son's friends and parents a poopy pyrotechnic show. |
t3_1jb22e | AskReddit | What can I do to salvage a relationship with my dog? | Hello fellow Redditors, I've just recently moved and married the man of my dreams. We're attempting to live up the American dream and got ourselves a dog from a kill shelter. She's a German Shepherd mix about 8 months in age, spayed, and all around, a good dog.
However, due to work scheduling, it's starting to seem like we jumped the gun. Our dog seems more like a chore and I've grown to the point were I can't help, but resent her for the smallest of things. My husband finds it just as daunting, but is handling it better than me.
It's gotten bad enough that I want to get rid of her out of our lives. But she's just a puppy, actually very easy to train and all she wants is some love. I'm just wondering if there is something I'm doing wrong, or helpful advice I can get to make me warm up to her again. | Any suggestions on how to make me stop hating a puppy for being a puppy? I really don't want to get rid of her if I can, she's a good dog in actuality. |
t3_h6na2 | relationships | Need help with a lurker going after my friend's girlfriend. | My friend ("Bob") and his gf ("Brenda") have been together over a year. One of their mutual acquaintances ("Colin") really likes Brenda, takes every opportunity to see her, take her out etc. As far as anyone knows, Colin has never had a gf. Brenda thinks he is just a sweet guy who is harmless. (He is harmless, in the sense that he is in no way interesting or attractive.) Bob has seemed OK with this Colin being a close friend, but recently Colin has started treating Brenda like his gf, taking her out, buying her gifts etc. Colin even has his facebook picture as one of them both. It's a little creepy and it's starting to rattle Bob a bit. It is Brenda's birthday soon, and Colin has decided he will take Brenda to the big city for a show, a meal, and that they will stay in a hotel together. He has told Bob that he will be honourable and nothing will happen.
Bob is a good guy but Brenda seems willfully oblivious to Colin's ulterior motives. Nobody doubts Brenda's commitment to Bob, and there is no way she would choose Colin over him. What the problem seems to be is Colin and his total lack of respect for Bob. Bob is a liberal guy who is easygoing, and doesn't want to restrict Brenda. However, from the outside looking in I can see Bob is getting a bit irritated by Colin's behaviour. Now, Bob could tell Colin to back the fuck off, but this would give Colin a moral victory. It seems like he is deliberately pushing the boundaries to see how much Bob can take. When Bob does say enough is enough, Colin will no doubts use this.
Interestingly, Colin lives down the road from Bob and I. Having not come up with any decent solutions about how to deter Colin without him continuing his douchey existence, can r/Relationships come up with any good plans? The more troll-y the better. We considered having things mailed to his address. | Friend-zone guy won't leave my liberal friend's gf alone. Need way to either get him to back off or troll him hard, as it is getting to my buddy. |
t3_33af77 | relationships | I [31 M] no longer want to be married to my wife [31 F] of four years due to spiritual changes and lack of a desire for kids. | I've been married to a wonderful woman for 4 years. During that time, my christian spiritual relationship has disappeared although hers has not. My desire not to have kids has strengthened while her desire to have kids has. When I was discussing marriage with a friend before we dated I told him I wanted to wait until I was out of debt but he encouraged me to not worry about it. At the time this was encouraging but now that I am free from debt and a past job, I feel trapped by marriage. I don't want to date anyone else I just don't want to be married any longer. I would be fine if I was never married again which is somewhat of a necessity when you get divorced for not wanting to be married. My wife is very accommodating and loving so the issues feel to be all on my side.
Getting to this point I think came about after changing jobs and getting out of debt which allowed me more time to hangout with friends and do new things. She is fine with that but I don't want any of the things that come with a typical relationship, good, bad or otherwise. She would stay with me despite me not wanting to have kids but she doesn't want to discuss that future right now considering I'm questioning the marriage.
I feel like an asshole and am one for not sticking to my commitment. I realize that divorce doesn't have to be an option and it probably will be much worse than I imagine it to be. I feel as though I would be fine being single and without her tomorrow but the thought of the social impacts with our largely christian friends makes it seem almost impossible. This is tougher due to the fact that she would never leave me. I've discussed this with her and with several friends but there isn't a clear cut answer. Maybe some anonymous people can help me shed some light on it.
I know I haven't described the situation as best as possible. It's just hard to summarize all the feelings right now. | I just don't want to be married anymore but feel obligated due to social pressures. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Does it change? |
t3_u3rtd | AskReddit | My parents separated 10 years ago. Ever since, I have found myself more and more distant from my Dad. Dear Reddit, in dire need I ask you, how can I bond with my father? | I was 9 when my parents separated and I moved literary to the other side of the globe to live with my Mom. I am a 19 year old male and I really miss a father figure, to whom I can talk to openly.
My Dad is very busy and I only see him maybe once in every 2 years or so, just because he is so far away. Everytime I call (we talk about once a month), I notice that the conversations are getting shorter and less "lively". In my opinion, I think that because he was not around there to witness me going through teenage years, he really does not know me well anymore. Every time I talk to him, I always feel as if he is acting coldly or in some way or other disappointed about me and the choices I have made in life.
Reddit, I would not ask if I was not in dire need of some sort of advice. Got off the phone a couple of hours ago and still feel horribly just because it feels like we're almost strangers by this point. Please help, what can I do to get him to see me in a different light of some sorts, or feel less of a stranger when talking to my own Dad? | Parents broke up 10 years ago, living away from father and with diminishing contact I feel as if we're near strangers at this point. What to do? |
t3_2q7juz | tifu | TIFU By letting responding to my own huge fart at a urinal. | So this is actually my friends fuck up that I was in the bathroom to witness a few years ago. We are in the bathroom of a gas station, which has one urinal and one stall next to it. my friend walks in first into this empty bathroom with me following and proceeds to the urinal. what he didn't see, was me holding the door for an older, well dressed gentle man, who slipped through the door as my friend was approaching the urinal. I proceed to take the stall.
halfway through the pee, my friend lets out a huge, ground-shaking rip of a fart that seems to last 3-4 seconds. As the stall was still rattling, he loudly groans in his most deep, guttural voice, 'THAT SHIT WAS DEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!.' I try to control my chuckling, holding my breath and such, as I realize that my friend has no idea that there is an stranger standing right behind him. but upon opening the stall, I couldn't control it. the man just stared past his perfectly shiny leather vest down at his matching leather boots, his clean cowboy hat shaking in rhythm this his head. My friend didn't wash his hands. | My friend let out a fart at a urinal without knowing a stranger was behind him, then further embarrassed himself with his own commentary. |
t3_3p0ewz | relationships | My [25f] friend [23f] is in a dating mess, should I interfere? | My friend "Jenny" recently broke up with her long-term bf when he moved away after college. It's been a few months, and she has started hooking up with her ex bf's friend Rob (22?M). I don't know Rob, but when I found out, I told her she should stop seeing him, since it was wrong of him to pursue his friend's ex anyway. She agreed & said she would stop.
Last week, she told me she has been hooking up with one of my friends "Sam" (24M). I asked Sam about it, and he said he really did have feelings for Jenny and was hoping to take the relationship further.
Then Jenny told me she has also been seeing ANOTHER friend of Sam and me, "George" (26M), and that this has mainly been going on while Sam is out of town (Sam travels a lot for work). I talked to George, and he also thinks he is exclusive with Jenny. And on Monday Jenny told me she has not even stopped seeing Rob!!!
I'm SO frustrated with Jenny and I'm afraid that Sam/George will be really hurt when they find out Jenny has been stringing them along.
Wrost of all, tomorrow there is a party that Sam, George, Jenny, and I are going to. Jenny said she will break it off with Sam before the party and keep seeing George, but this is just going to be a major disaster. Should I tell Sam and George the truth before the party? or just let Jenny deal with it and stay out? | Friend is dating 3 guys at once, two of them are my friends an know each other. Should I step in? Or is it too late? What can I even do? |
t3_3xi6wp | tifu | TIFU by being sexually deprived (NSFW) | So this happened over the summer, but I figured someone on here may enjoy it. At the time, it had been many months since I had been involved with anyone physically. I met a girl through some friends and we hit it off. One day the two of us decided to explore the empty UC Santa Cruz campus. After leaving the admissions building, we entered an elevator. As soon as the doors closed, we were all over each other. I lifted her up against the elevator wall and explored her body with my hands as we kissed. To my good fortune, the elevator remained stationary and nobody walked in on us. After 10 minutes, we realized that very little time remained for us to grab a late lunch before her ride picked her up. We took my car to a Mexican restaurant in town, and as soon as I stepped out of the car, I realized my balls felt like two little white dwarves. Every minute movement caused me excruciating pain, and I was forced to subtly waddle into the taqueria. I hurried into the restroom to relieve myself. Standing over the toilet with a wad of toilet paper in one hand, I unzipped my pants and lowered them to my ankles. With my free hand, I began fapping furiously before the girl I had come with assumed I was taking a shit. After 30 seconds of painful jerking, I heard the door open. I wheeled around just in time to momentarily lock eyes with the young woman that had walked in on me before she slammed the door shut. I found the girl I had come with and proceeded to eat my quesadilla, dissatisfied and in utter shock. | Hooked up with a girl in an elevator, got blue balls, attempted to relieve myself in a restaurant, ended up pulling a move out of American Pie. |
t3_2ivp3j | tifu | TIFU by pissing on my girlfriend's fancy bath robe. | This is actually a fuck up that is coming back to haunt me. Five years ago while in college my girlfriend and I went out to a party, got far too wasted and ended up back at our place. As far as I remember we got home and passed out. The next morning I woke up, gave her a cute smile and kiss and said "Good Morning" all lovey-dubby. To my surprise she just stared at me and asked "Do you know what you did last night?" Smile still going strong, I lovingly asked "no babe, what?". She got out of bed and said "You don't remember pissing on my bath robe?" She then holds up her fancy Yves Delorme bathrobe that has a big yellow stain on it. My smile quickly went away, this was not good, I had fucked up... The story goes, that I got up in the middle of the night, wandered over to her cozy bath robe, whipped it out and let loose. She woke up mid act, asked what I was doing, to which i grumpily replied "DONT WORRY ABOUT IT". Finished my duty and fell back into bed. I have no recollection of this at all.
I quickly went to work the rest of that day trying to get the stain out and redeem myself. I got most of it out but, damn, it was pretty set in. Regardless, it was hard to tell it was even there. Eventually we got distracted, time went on, she wore the bathrobe a few more times and that was that.
Fast forward to today, we were looking through our clothes in preparation for a trip and she happened to find her bath robe. All the emotion came rushing back to her. She looked at the stain and its now worse than it was after initial cleaning, the passage of time taking its toll. So of course now Im back in the dog house having to figure out how to clean my 5 year old piss out of her bathrobe once and for all. | I pissed on my girlfriends bathrobe while black out drunk 5 years ago, got yelled at about it then and still getting yelled at about it now. |
t3_cpcd0 | relationship_advice | Thinking about ending my relationship. Desperately need some advice. Please help! | My gf and I have been going mostly steady for almost two years. We've been together since the very start of freshman year of college. It's a very emotional relationship and we've grown a lot since we've started dating.
It's been getting difficult for me lately. During the summer, she lives pretty far away. I'm taking classes so we only get to spend one or two weekends together a month. After this summer, she'll be studying abroad for a semester, so we won't be able to see each other at all.
We made a commitment long ago to stay together during that time and frankly, that scares the shit out of me. I feel that there's an implication there that we'll be staying together for much, much longer. She wants to marry me some day, and I don't know if I'm ready for that at my age.
Since we've been dating, she has come to the realization that she's bisexual. She definitely wants to explore that, and I don't think it will be possible as long as we're together (she's much too jealous to have a threesome.)
I really want to let her free, to let her get the most out of being abroad. I also want to be independent and not have commitment hanging over me.
I think we would agree on this, but she is completely and utterly dependent on me for emotional support. If we broke up I think it would completely destroy her. She's bipolar and can get into some very bad depressive states. This also scares me and makes me feel a little trapped. | I think it would be best for both of us to break up, or take a break for awhile, but my girlfriend is too dependent and wants to get married some day. |
t3_y2sic | personalfinance | Financial suggestions for a college returnee facing some debt and a dubious career? | I'm 23, headed back to college for a (second) BFA in art at CalArts, in the outskirts of LA. It's a pretty good school for art, but I don't expect a lucrative job upon graduation, based upon observation and an attempt to be pragmatic.
I will accrue approximately $20,000 in debt, if not more, in the two years I'm there. I found a room for $500/mo in the town nearby, probably the best I'll get as I don't have a car/increased radius to search for housing.
I'm not planning on getting a job during school, but will certainly seek one during the summer.
I'd like to get advice on whether my rent seems reasonable, how I could possibly make money in ways that wouldn't impact time spent in the studio/studying (aka low time commitment)
Please don't say "change career path" in respect for my rather impractical career/school choice. | art student getting mildly into debt and paying $500 a month in rent seeks ways to offset the debt--your suggestions and tips (especially for unorthodox sources of income) heartily welcomed. |
t3_37il96 | relationships | Me [27 M], how do I make more friends? | I am a single guy, and lately I have been hanging out with a girl that I very much like. I thought that I was in a good spot myself to get into a relationship, but after some stuff going on between myself and this girl I have come to the realization that I don't really have any friends and because of it I have been somewhat depressed. I decided that I don't want to get into a situation where my partner is my only close friend.
So, like the title says, how can I, a person in my late 20's, make some new long lasting friends?
I had quite a few friends in high school, but after that we all kind of went our separate ways and now I only have 1 really close friend nearby. I tend to get along with people just fine, but I've come to realized that I've had this sort of reservation towards making new friends after highschool. I think that I might just be really picky when it comes to this sort of thing.
Pretty much any advice is welcome. | I have almost no friends and I think I would be happier if I had more. How does someone in their late 20's make new friends? |
t3_36cvgn | relationships | I'm [19M] invited to a party, ex [17F] as well. | I'll keep this really short. Ex broke up with me months ago, because of communication problems and I unconsciously put pressure on her. She's a sweet girl, but also a bit shy even though it doesn't seem so. After a period of no-contact we became friends again (we've got great chemistry)
After the break up, she would sometimes send mixed signals I ignored them or didn't know what to do.
Few months later I make out with someone she knows and she ignores me, for a reason that I didn't told her (I'm not obliged to and I didn't want to hurt her by telling her). Told her I was sorry for making her feel that way, she tells me it's better that we don't talk.
Now two months later without contact I'm invited to her best friends birthday party. My close friends are invited as well, even though we don't really do hang out with said friend.
It's not a big party and my ex will definitely be there, I want to
reconnect with my ex as friends, as she's been really helpful to me (helped with anxiety etc.) and we get along really well.
How should I go on with this? Shall I talk to her beforehand?
Shall I take her apart and ask her to talk?
I'm terrible with these kind of situations and I could really use some advice. | Ex ignores me after period of being friends. Invited to party she almost co-hosts, I want to be friends again. |
t3_135f7s | relationships | My [18F] friend [18F] told my boyfriend [19M] she's in love with him. He's not exactly bothered by this. | So the boyfriend [19M] and I [18F] have been together just under a year. I've known my friend [18F] for years, and she really is lovely. Except that she confessed her love to my boyfriend.
The two of them are close friends. They go to the same college, whereas I go to different one. (We all live close to one another though). They spent their days side by side. At parties, they spend a lot of time together, and when there's alcohol involved, they can get a bit handsy with one another. I've observed groping.
Now, I've been the victim of a crazy girlfriend before (as in, been friends with a male who has cut ties with me due to their girlfriend's jealousy) and I really don't want to be like that. I'm fine with them being friends, and even her having feelings for him. You can't help that. I just get uncomfortable with them being flirty, especially when they do this while I'm around and my friends start to 'warn' me about them.
He tells me that he doesn't have feelings for her and that he loves me. I believe that latter half completely, but I'm beginning to doubt the former. Am I justified in thinking that this is an issue, or should I just trust them both and get on with it? I love him, and I don't want to ruin my friendship with her. I also don't want to sound like an eighteen year old taking her love life too seriously. | My friend has feelings for my boyfriend. They flirt a lot and spend all their time together. Am I justified in being cheesed off or am I a crazy girlfriend? Should I do anything about it? |
t3_4uh1oz | relationships | My (30M) Ex (27F) wants me to split the cost of daycare of the days she has our daughter. | My ex and I split around 8 months ago , we have been super civil with most decisions about our daughter. We have a 2 year old and have 50/50 custody. I pay for daycare on the days that I have our daughter and my Ex's dad watches her on the days my Ex has our daughter. My Ex's dad will be leaving town for a few months and my Ex is insisting I pay half of the daycare for the scheduled days my ex has my daughter. I feel this is unfair as I pay for daycare on my days and I do not expect her to be responsible. Am I in the wrong for telling her no ? We make around the same wages from work. if I do not pay my Ex can still afford to pay for daycare. | my ex wants me to split the cost of daycare for our daughter on my Ex's days when I'm already paying for day care on my scheduled days. |
t3_z7830 | AskReddit | I'm sleeping in the car tonight. Am I in the wrong? Here's my story: | So, me and the gf had plans to go out tonight. All's fine until I start to try out clothes to wear. I'm at ~170 pounds and have lost recently around 40 pounds. This is good and all but I still have major insecurities with my body. No matter what I tried, I looked myself in the mirror and got digusted by my own look. I'm working my ass off in the gym but my "love handles" don't go away.
Anyway, I get frustrated and slightly depressed. To the point where I even cried. Don't want to call it depression though. So, I know myself and being realistic knew that I wouldn't be going out because of my insecurities and because I was feeling really low. My gf at first was comprehensive but then turned and started to hurling accusations at me. "I can never do anything with you", "your selfish" etc.
I felt like a cornered cat, she kept on escalating to the point where I burst. I tried to contain myself but I couldn't. This girl gets psycho and doesn't stop till things go to the extreme. She wouldn't stop and I resisted with all my might to punch her straight in the face. I did have to restrain her by putting her in a headlock. And before it got any further I left the house.
Who is in the wrong? Is it me for having these insecurities or is it her for not understanding me and my issues? I recognize that I'm no where as fat as I used to be but I have had weight issues all my life and they will not go away until I get to where I want to be. | Plans to go out with GF, I try on clothes but because of weight issues and my insecurities I refuse to go out. GF understands but then throws a tantrum. Gets a bit violent. I'm in my car... |
t3_3l8fdj | relationship_advice | [18/m] Need help with a complicated situation involving a girl (18f) with a boyfriend | Alright so basically it starts like this, during the summer a friend of mine throws a party and invites me so I decide to go. There's this girl there from a different school so I just decide "fuck it I'm going to flirt with her the whole time and see where it gets me". We're hitting it off and things are going better than expected when I hear her casually mention her boyfriend (who is at the school she goes to) to another girl. Well the boyfriend wasn't at the party so I decide to keep it going with her and she never directly tells me she has a boyfriend so I assume that the casual flirting is cool with her. Later in the night when most of the people were sleeping she asked me for a massage because she was tired and her back was sore etc. So I give and one and and before I know it we're cuddling on some couch for the next few hours. I didn't move in to kiss her or do anything more than cuddling because I knew she had a boyfriend. So we fall asleep and the next morning she announces that she's transferring to the school everyone at the party goes to. Anyways fast forward a bit and she still has her boyfriend and we talk frequently in school, I want to get into a serious relationship with her but I just really can't because of the whole boyfriend thing. What should I do? | Girl with a boyfriend in a different school flirts with me, I flirt with her but I can't take things to the next level because she has a boyfriend |
t3_t5le3 | relationship_advice | Incredibly attracted to co-worker, currently living with GF, unsure of what I want/need/am looking for... much confusion! | Hey Reddit,
So, I am 24y/o guy in a decent 5-6 month relationship with 26y/o girl. We recently moved in together (about 3 months ago?) and things have been going well enough. I am a workaholic and rarely home, but gf was ok with this earlier in the relationship. The intense initial spark is gone for me, but I do love her and care for her very much. I've been getting less and less interested in sex because we're not the most physically compatible down below. The biggest stumbling block is that I think of relationships as two whole individuals joining forces as a team, where she thinks of people as halves who need each other to be whole. She is one of the kindest people I know, she has a passion for arts and education (like me!) and we both are avid bibliophiles.
Enter the gorgeous redhead co-worker who I had known and had a huge crush on before I met my current gf. We hit it off really well, and last night after work we ended up at the bar talking over drinks, then heading back to her place where we smoked and read tarot cards for each other and talked about life, art, work and our stories until 4am. It never got physical, or even flirtatious, but there is definitely an electric connection there. I ended up sleeping over (on the couch! I'm not a cheater!) and left before she woke up.
Reddit, I am very confused by all of these emotions! I love my gf, but my co-worker and I connect so tremendously on so many levels (emotional, spiritual, work-comes-first mentality, and thinking of relationships as two wholes coming together to make an even better whole). I have never lived with an SO before, and there are so many dynamics and emotions at play in this situation that I feel overwhelmed. Please help me sort out these feelings! | Living with lovely GF, when dream girl co-worker appears and a huge connection is felt there. Too many feelings to process and feel like I'm going into shutdown mode when I try to think about it Help!. |
t3_1by18e | relationships | (F-24) How do I get my (M-25) SO of 4 years to see a therapist? | My BF of 4+ years has been dealing with ongoing (improving) anxiety issues for the last 2 years. While he has these issues he also has a very large ego/lots of pride. I don't know how to ask him if seeing a therapist might help with his anxiety without him feeling attacked. I have tried in the past bringing it up but I can see how badly it fires him up and don't want to pursue anymore of that topic because I am afraid it will start a big fight. His anxiety has caused him to become a shut in (we'll still go out for dinner ect) but to get him to be social in any setting other than online with his gamer friends - is pretty much impossible to do without starting a fight. This also applies to doing anything with me outside of the home. I'm afraid that unless he can get help that he might never overcome his anxiety/shut in ways and that will eventually drive me to become resentful (it probably already has). Everyone (our friends/his family) is aware of his anti-social/anti-live life to the fullest ways but no one has succeeded in talking to him about changing these things. I love him but I dont know how to help him. One of his guy friends recently told me that I am the best thing that has ever happened to my boyfriend (because he has it pretty easy going with me/I spoil the crap out of him). He is getting the best of both worlds because I am so supportive but I feel like it is starting to take a toll on me. | Boyfriend started to become a shut-in after he started to have anxiety issues a couple years ago. Not sure how to address it/help him before it really starts to hinder our relationship. |
t3_3ckgte | relationships | I [25 F] honestly don't know if I'm straight or gay, and, bonus! I'm still a virgin. Any help? | I have dated a few guys, kissed a few guys, but there's never any thing going on for me physically, nothing that makes me want to keep kissing them or go farther Though, I've never kissed a guy I've been attracted to, just guys that have asked me out and I figured I'd just go with it. Never kissed a girl, but have thought about it.
I've crushed on both guys and girls, almost exclusively people I know I can't have (teachers, people in relationships, straight girls/gay guys). But I really don't know what direction to take things in!! Having never had sex, I don't feel comfortable just going out and hooking up with one guy and one girl and seeing what floats my boat.
I don't think I'm hideous or unbelievably boring, I HAVE dated so there are at least a few people out there who find me tolerable, but I am just so uncomfortable with any physical intimacy and, in addition, feel so unsure about who I'm actually attracted to!!
I'll admit, I'm not hopeful that there's any better advise out there than, "just go with the flow, you'll figure it out eventually". But does anyone have anything? I'm 25! I don't have much more time before it becomes pathetic that I haven't had sex. I know I shouldn't let this bother me so much but it honestly causes me so much distress to think I'll be alone always. | don't know if I'm gay or straight, not comfortable enough with physical intimacy to be able to figure it out. |
t3_2u1gd6 | offmychest | Despite this being my cakeday, it was one of my worst days ever. | We had a swim meet today. We won, but personally it was not one of the best experiences I've had in a long time. Also, it had to be this one that a good friend of mine decided to go to. She probably wasn't impressed.
First, right before my first event my goggles break. Not too much of a big deal, I thought. I borrowed a pair but those turn out not to be the best. They fell off while I was swimming and I stopped to take them off. I swam the slowest time for that event (50 free) that I ever had in a while.
My second event was not any better. My cap fell off during this one. I swam my slowest (100 back) for this one too.
The real kicker is what happened in the locker room. While showering, my shower head fell off. The hot water also decided to go on strike and my belongings got soaked. As I wondered how this could get any worse, I walked into the locker room to see one of my friends fully butt naked. Surprisingly, that was NOT the worst part. I screamed the F word as a reaction and as the "u" sound escaped my mouth, our new swim coach comes out of the restroom. He proceeds to give me and my friend a look that was 30% confusion, 20% disappointment and 50% "I'm just gonna get the fuck out of here." This season's gonna go great.
I wonder what else could go wrong this evening. Maybe the ceiling will come down on me. | Goggles broke, cap fell off, swam my worst, saw more than I needed to see, profanities heard, new coach disappointed. |
t3_1dbn6v | dating_advice | [M23] Haven't gotten any action in a while but I just got two numbers from two cute girls [F23]+[F22] tonight and I have no idea what I'm doing | The problem is F[23], the girl I like (tonight was the second time I saw her) told me that she has a boyfriend. But he just took off and went to Asia for a while by himself. She gave me her number but said we would only be friends, but I think she might at the very least think I'm interesting. She brought up hanging out next weekend, and made some comment about watermelon being really wet in her mouth right before she left (lol). The other one [F22] is a cute waitress who doesn't work too far and I just want to hang out with her asap but not sure how long I should wait to give it a shot. I've been really lonely lately so I know it'd really give me the motivation I need if one of these were to work out. | not sure if all of my hope for a girl is a complete hallucination and how long I should wait before approaching them via text/phone |
t3_qu7q1 | AskReddit | When is a time you've felt violated reddit? I'll start... | I recently moved far from home to a new university where I don't really know many people. Lately I have taken to using the popular random video chat website ''omegle'' to help pass the down time between homework and classes. One night I was on the site for quite a while getting pretty tired of all the nonsense (mostly dudes ''touching'' themselves) so switched to a new window and started doing homework. After about 20 minutes of homework I switched back to the window containing omegle and realized an older man had actually been ''violating'' himself while staring at my face. Based on his chat logs he had been doing it for about 9 minutes. The chat log was so disturbing making lewd remarks about my facial features and such. It was as bad as having someone watch you through your window except I could actually see the dude right infront of me! I have never felt more violated than this moment and am still trying to recover from it. What is a point in your life you've felt violated reddit? and how can I get over this mental stress I've been put through? | I basically had an older man fap to a live video feed of me without my knowledge and feel pretty horrible about it |
t3_1ycop2 | relationship_advice | Friend [22f] is in an abusive relationship. How can I support her? | I don't want to give a million examples, but my best friend is in an emotionally abusive relationship. This guy has cheated on her for the entire 2 years they've been together (but blames her for it), doesn't let her go out with her friends (because she's "meeting other guys", apparently), tells her what to wear, won't let her speak to any men at her workplace...I could go on, but he is abusive. She had an abortion last month because she thought he would end the relationship if she told him she was pregnant. She went through the whole process herself and he didn't care.
It is killing me to see her like this. She used to be a happy and confident woman, but now...she's convinced she's worthless, ugly, has no future, etc etc. I fucking hate this guy for what he's done to her. They are apparently "on a break" right now, but she hopes they will get back together...even though he's dating some girl he met on Tinder. Seriously. I've tried my hardest to get through to her because he doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself. She KNOWS he is bad for her but she's been sucked so far in, she can't see any way out.
What can I do? I know I can't do much and I know that the realisation needs to come from her. I ask her to hang out every week, sometimes she turns the offer down because she "is sorting stuff out with her boyfriend" but sometimes she will go out with me and she'll comment on how much fun she had and how she wants to hang out more. I think she is slowly (very slowly) realising that she is worth so much more than this guy, but whenever she makes some progress, he pulls her back in. It is heartbreaking to see. | friend is in an emotionally abusive relationship. When she starts to pull away from the guy, he pulls her back in. I want to support and help her but what more can I do? |
t3_3ai0kc | tifu | TIFU By eavesdropping on my parents on Christmas eve. | Ok so first I'll set the scene I am a fairly innocent 10 year old child who is unbelievably excited for Christmas. So as any young kid would do I thought of spying on my parents to hear what information they would drop on the **Christmas-Bomb**
I sneaked down the stairs like a thief and put one ear to the door. To hear what has scarred me to this day. No therapist could save me from this. I was in need of Marty Mcfly to travel backwards in time and sparta kick me to my bedroom. However no time traveler came. My parents spoke of things that would frighten 4 Chan itself. I took myself to bed and I can never look at them the same way.
It involved all the fetishes under the sun and my father being on the other end of the sausage. | Sneaked downstairs to eavesdrop for presents, found out my parents were planning one for themselves. Now I can't sleep easy. |
t3_m77vl | AskReddit | The professor of my current course doesn't seem to really read through assignments, but just grades on screen shots and number of pages. Should I comically test him? | Basically, I'm in a programming (won't say which language) course at an well known and accredited university (won't say where). I am through the better part of my Bachelor's in Electrical Engineering.
All of the other courses have had some major ball-busting professors that critique everything down to the incorrect format finding a solutions. Especially when it came to programming courses, they would correct certain lines out of hundreds to give their grades.
This professor is different. After four weeks of point-heavy assignments being submitted, the comments by the professor are short with no incite into how I wrote the code, just a 100%. Each assignment consists at least about 250-300 lines of code along with multiple questions of
Of course, I'm not bitching about the grade. I love it. I just find it funny, since the last two assignments I submitted were absolute bullshit as I am having troubles with this certain form of programming. The code didn't even run without multiple errors. However, no mention of that, but just a "Great job!" kind of comments. I'm assuming he is just looking at the format of the submission (MS Word document) rather than the actual assignment.
My grade in the class is a solid 100% so far, so I almost feel like doing a little trolling in the coding just to see if it catches the professor's attention. I saw a post in I think r/Pics where someone believed their professor didn't read past the first paragraph, and got this idea.
Do you guys and gals have any ideas on what I can slip into the code to see if it catches his attention? Nothing vulgar, but rather playful and harmless trolling.
I've thought of printed out lines of quotes from Futurama, or adding a print out funny question completely unrelated to the assignment with the answer is prompted by the user. That is all I have right now. Any ideas? | Lazy professor is lazy, and grades by amount of content rather than quality. Looking for ideas of subtle trolling to see if my predictions are right. |
t3_mb7cx | AskReddit | How do I deal with a death.... | Yesterday, my aunt (dad's sister) died in the UK. She lived in Somalia all her life until she became sick and needed medical care and moved to the UK. My dad has been there for a month trying to be with her till the end. When I found out this morning, I really did not know what to feel. I have never met her in my 19 years of life (I live in the USA) and rarely, if ever, talked to her. A few moments ago, my mom called me to talk to my aunt's kids, who are like in their 30s and 40s, and comfort them. | I never really talked to my extended family before, so how do I deal with someone in the extended family dying and comfort them, Reddit? |
t3_2p1gow | personalfinance | Leaving job: rollover 401k? | So I'll be leaving my current position at the end of January. In a few days I'll have vested a percentage of my 401k which is equal to about $80. Its not much, but it was free! The company contributed it as part of their profit sharing program.
I've been researching what to do with the money once I leave next month. Its definitely not worth cashing out.
Opening a Roth IRA seems like a good option, but its difficult to find the right provider considering the small amount I'd be rolling over. I'm reluctant to fork over a huge deposit as I'm planning on using savings until I find another job.
Also looked in to services like Betterment, but I'm not quite ready to invest $100+ a month (soon, though!) | What to do with 401k worth $80? Company won't let me keep the account active due to low balance. |
t3_1lk2bf | relationships | [18M] my girlfriend [18F] told me today that 2 years ago she had a "Friend with benefits" | So yeah today, my gf and I had a talk about a relation she has with another guy.
Basically, she said that when something goes wrong they see each other like really good friends but she also said that 2-3 years ago their relationship was considered as friend with benefits, I can't get this out of my head ! And she told me that when we hang out that she will give him hugs since they don't see each other as much as before but they still talk through texts and facebook, which I don't really mind.
For some people it's not a big deal but as for me... It disgusts me I don't know why... I am too old fashioned I guess, just thinking about sex with no love...
Any advice ? | Can't get out her "Friend with benefits" out of my head and the fact that they still talk to each other. |
t3_36lx60 | relationships | My [f19] boyfriend [m20] is kind of mean to me, he calls me a bitch and stupid and chooses weed and computer games over me, breaks his promises and keeps things from me. | Title pretty much said it all, whenever we fight my boyfriend will call me a bitch or retarded he's also called me a c*nt while we were travelling because i wanted to pack our bags and leave them in the lobby before check out and he wanted to go to central park first .... which causes more fights and name calling. most of the fights are about him smoking cigarettes and weed, because i dont really like it and ask him not to smoke if he's going to be seeing me. there also about computer games because he tells me he'll only play 2 games and it ends up being about 6 and i want to cuddle etc.
we NEVER (once every 2 weeks) have sex anymore mainly because of the games and the fights.
I have really bad anxiety and depression and my boyfriend calls me stupid all the time and says my anxiety is dumb. he also always expects blowjobs and never wants to give anything in return.
We used to have a really awesome relationship, just recently since he's gotten his computer its gone downhill because he spends all his time on the computer or with friends smoking weed (also at work)
he tells me he spends heaps of time with me and that its my fault we dont have sex. his idea of spending time with me is sleeping in the same bed....
He also lies about smoking weed because he doesnt want me to be upset, this upsets me more so because i hate being lied to and already have trust issues. He doesn't seem to understand that to build trust you have to be honest and keep your word....
So yeah, kind of just wanted to rant and ask you guys what I should do... My life just is kind of shitty right now | My [f19] boyfriend [m20] is kind of mean to me, he calls me a bitch and stupid and chooses weed and computer games over me, breaks his promises and keeps things from me. |
t3_4twmoc | relationships | My GF[30F] asked me[31M] if I could pay full rent next month | Hello,
We have been together for 3 months and we pretty much moved in together when we first met. I live with her 5 year old son as well. She was working part time and finishing her nursing school and doing online mba. when we met she decided to quit her part time job just because she feels like she can get a job anytime. Well yesterday she asked me if I can pay the full rent money instead of my usual 50%. I told her if she needed help during her job hunt I can help. I also asked her if she will needs me to pay the month after again if she didn't get a job? She replied she is not sure because she is waiting to figure out if she will have to apply into the masters program or work a high paying job and finish her nursing school and MBA school (she is enrolled in both) or just get a shitty job for time being. I am like okay. Now I just think it is odd how she just quit her job while she has a son to take care of as well. True she does get child support but still. I have no doubt she can make a lot of money but it is just the principal of the matter I feel. Also as much as I love her this kind of gives me a red flag. She didnt even say anything about paying back as well. Should I be concerned? | I am getting red flags because I am asked to pay rent while she willingly quit her job when she has a son to take care of |
t3_gw0o3 | dating_advice | Been out of the scene awhile, don't know how to approach anymore. | I am a 24 y/o male with a huge crush (is my age beyond that terminology at this point?) on a female of the same age. I came out of a 3 year relationship about 8 months ago and am tired of doing the single thing and want to ask this girl out.
Anyway, I find this girl to be unbelievably interesting. She is quite nerdy like myself (a nerd on reddit, who would have thought?), she likes playing video games with an impressive collection, is a huge joss whedon fan, likes same movies, comics, everything.
I've known her for awhile now but we really only see each other at bigger social events with a lot of people. I have her phone number but I'm really horribly awkward talking to anybody on the phone no matter who it is and I start rushing to get off. Despite that, I am a social able person irl the phone just puts me in a rough spot for some reason I feel naked and not in the good way.
Like most people on here I'm afraid of outright rejection so the thought of doing it at one of our social gatherings doesn't seem very appealing as well. I also am afraid of making it awkward between us by crossing some boundary even though I feel like she is flirting with me from time to time. It also doesn't help she is incredibly attractive and I'm pretty sure she's out of my league. But that is just another excuse I suppose.
Anyway | need advice on good ways to ask someone out. Is text message or FB too casual/lame to be taken seriously? |
t3_26xsib | relationships | Boyfriend (18M) of 2 months broke up with me (18F) over a girl (17F) he started liking 2 days ago. | Alright so, I've been seeing this guy for about two months now. We met over tinder, went on quite a few dates, handjobs and fingering but never had sex (he's a virgin and I'm not).
I talked to him on thursday, and when we went to bed he didn't say 'I love you' when saying goodnight as he always does.
Didn't contact me at all on friday
Messaged me this morning (saturday) over facebook saying that he was breaking up with me because he feels awkward and unnatural around me and has fallen for another girl.
I asked the whole 'who?? Since when??'
And he tells me he started liking this new girl on thursday, but adds that he was going to break it off with me anyway.
Does this guy have issues? Do I have a right to be pissed/upset? Should I warn this new girl of his short attention span? How do I act around him now? Do I have reason to hate him?
I'm feeling really shitty over all this, I know it's only been 2 months but I really did have feelings for him and thought we had some sort of future :c
Help pls | boyf of 2 months broke up with me 2 days after falling for another girl, don't know what to do now :c |
t3_4ebxnl | personalfinance | I'm 36, have been awful at managing my finances all my life, and now I'm in trouble. Advice requested. | This might be a bit longish, so please bear with me.
I'm a 36-year-old male. I have been going through my entire adult life getting bailed out by my parents when I needed it. They have fully covered my comfortable living expenses as I worked to complete my undergraduate degrees, and both parents (now divorced) have made it clear that the money gets cut off when I graduate next month. I cover my tuition myself through student loans. Yes, I know I am very lucky to have this situation, and I hope you don't judge me for it.
I have actively tried to curtail my expenses and clean up my financial situation in anticipation of this. I have never really kept a budget (was never taught how) and no savings (other than a small retirement account). Now, as graduation nears, I did the math and see that I am about $2500 in debt for various bills which must be paid by the end of the month. I will be receiving $1,332 on the 15th and $500 on the 30th.
My credit report is mostly clean, but short. My FICO score is 587/570. I am waiting on one dispute to be resolved before I apply for a credit card. I have lived almost my entire life on cash only, but that is starting to become unsustainable.
I don't want to ask my parents for the $2500. They have paid enough and it is entirely my fault for not managing my money properly.
I could drain my retirement account, but the government would get about 50% of it, so that's not really an option. Plus, at my age, I should have *something* in retirement.
Does anyone have any advice whatsoever? I am willing to take a loan for the $2500, but with my poor credit score and what the loan is needed for, I doubt I would get anything that doesn't have an appalling interest rate. Help? | 36 y.o. male. Badly managed my funds all my life. $2500 needs to be paid by the end of the month. Poor credit, no savings. Requesting advice. |
t3_4a92ix | relationships | Son [18M] trying to reconnect with depressed Father [47M] | This is probably the best place to ask this, and I'm not sure where else to go.
My dad and I haven't had the best relationship. He's had depression and some other issues for a while (genetic chemical imbalance, so I likely have some form of it), and it's showed. He was verbally abusive to myself and my younger siblings around 5-10 years ago, getting angry over the smallest things and yelling at us as a result.
Eventually, my parents nearly had a divorce and my dad ended up going to a mental hospital for a bit. That helped a ton, in addition to a therapist he regularly sees. He is definitely a better person now. Problem is, we have nothing in common.
Currently, he doesn't do much outside of work. A lot of it is watching reruns of shows like M\*A*S*H and Cheers on Netflix (and prior to getting Netflix he did the same thing whenever they came on one of our "nostalgia channels"). The most interaction we get it when we occasionally go out to dinner, and the only conversation we can hold both ends of is politics, which we're at opposite ends of. This tends to end in an awkward silence.
As his interests lie in older TV shows/movies and his work (which is in college admissions), and mine lies in anime, gaming, Reddit/pop culture, etc., we have nothing in common.
What can I do? Should I try to introduce him to something he won't hate (he's relatively anti-violence/sex with a few exceptions like the Bourne trilogy), or should I see what franchise he can introduce me to? I'm in favor of the former, as I want to get him out of the stupor he seems to be in, but I'm willing to do just about anything at this point. | Dad's depressed, had mental issues in the past, and son wants to reconnect with him even though they have completely different interests |
t3_4fzgwq | relationship_advice | [23/m] Should I move into shared living with the guy (22/m) that screwed with my GF(23/f)? | The title may actually sound worse than it is.
**Short back story:**
We're all studying in the same semester, close to graduation. My best friend (unfortunately 'the guy') screwed with a girl in one of the first semesters that later became my GF.
I did not know about all that until we came together. They didn't have a relationship and everything happened before me and my GF came together. So she didn't cheat on anyone. When I found out I was extremely mad, she apologized and cried a thousand times (although it really wasn't anyone's fault). She didn't even really know me when she was screwing my buddy back then.
**So here we are now almost a year later.**
I love my girlfriend, our relationship is perfect and I trust her 100%. My buddy and I (being guys) never talked about it and acted as if it never happened.
Besides our studies my buddy and I started a small startup and so far everything is going as planned. In summer my buddy and I are doing an Internship in London so he asked me whether I wanted to move in to a shared flat with him. It is super hard to get a affordable flat alone and besides that we could work on the startup in the evenings.
*Everything seems perfect right? Well - No.*
My girlfriend wants to visit me for two months and the situation between them is still unclear. My girlfriend said she is fine with us moving together although It probably will get weird. However she is willing to pour oil on troubled waters.
**What should I do?** It would probably make sense to talk to my buddy although I have no Idea how since we almost never have super serious or deep conversations. We're both kind of emotional cripples.
Or is it a bad idea in the first place and I shoudn't even consider moving in with him? (Although practically it would make a lot of sense.) | Want to move in with my best friend (for three months) that screwed with my GF before we came together. Bad Idea? |
t3_3mbx54 | relationships | Big age gap I don't know what to do! | Hi I'm a female 20 Years old and I like this man he's much older, about 30 years my senior but that's not what worries me what worries me is how do I even talk to him.
I mean I have before we work together and he's complimented me he's so sweet and smart. I can't stop thinking about him the worst part is they changed his shifts so I don't know how I'm going to casually run into him anymore?
I have his number but I've never texted him. Only emailed him about work stuff. I want to know how to begin a personal friendship even that'll be better than what I have now, also to eventually lead to a romantic one.
When we're at work we have these long conversations and they get pretty meaningful but that's it, it ends there. And I'm afraid I won't see him anymore.
And for those of you wondering he's not married he's divorced. Can you please help me figure out if this is going somewhere or absolutely nowhere. Thank you. | I like an older man but don't really know how to start a friendship with him. Afraid I'm never going to see him again. |
t3_3sxvdq | relationships | I (29 M) told my (23 F) girlfriend that I masterbate, which she considers it cheating. Opinions? | My girlfriend asked me if and how often I masterbate. I was honest and told her every four days or so, but she considers this cheating she said. She then asked if I think about other women, which I responded to with no either her or nothing. She seems to think that I should have sex with her whenever I have the urge, but she often gets sore easily so I don't bring it up with her, masterbating instead.
She often brings up that all I seem to care about is sex, which isn't true and so that's another reason I don't go to her all the time. | she considers masterbating cheating and has trust issues, so suggestions on my obvious over honest answer on how often I masterbate and whether we should instead have sex more often even though it puts her in pain. |
t3_4hmd5h | relationships | I [18 M] want to get into a new relationship, but am still hurt by my ex [18 F] cheating on me with my best friend [17 M] | We started dating when we were 15. The three of us were very good friends and we would spend a lot of time together. Little did I know she liked him more than she liked me, despite being my SO.
I don't know how long she was cheating on me for, but I found out last year when he got drunk and told me she would often perform oral sex on him.
When I confronted her, she said it was true and told me that she didn't love me and that I couldn't satisfy her.
I broke up with her, and a day later they had gotten together.
I felt like my heart was being crushed. I stopped talking to both of them. I thought I loved her and she loved me back.
I want to get into a new relationship but I'm scared I'll be hurt again. I know it probably won't happen, but it's like an irrational fear in the back of my mind. | Got chested on by my girlfriend with my best friend. Now I'm irrationally worried it'll happen again. |
t3_2fdqrg | relationships | My [F/20] boyfriend [M/23] lied to me about having a Facebook account | My boyfriend lied about it and continually said he never had it on and on again.
I ended up finding it a while later. Told him I did and he said he rarely uses it so didn't tell me. However, he had no problem lying to me about it but added random strangers from the internet to speak to just a few days before I found his FB.
If he rarely used it, he could have just said that...but why lie and then have no problem adding strangers from online lol.
Now he's just calling me childish and telling me it's insignificant. I agree...but all I want to know is why he's okay with lying to me about it but not others
I know he's not cheating, but it made me feel as if he's ashamed of me. What other reason would there be lol. | Boyfriend lied to me about having a Facebook. Later found it and he was recently using it. Told him about it and he said he didn't tell me because he rarely goes on it. |
t3_21xn1g | relationships | Need Some Advice [27 m] with my SO [24 F] of almost four years has given me a deadline. | So My girlfriend and I have been together for four years next week, we have also been living together for almost 2 of those four years. She has given me until our anniversary to propose or she is going to move out\leave me. First let me say that I love her with all my heart, but am i crazy to think that we may be rushing into this? The thought of getting engaged scares the crap out of me. All she ever talks about is how sure she is that i am the one and she wouldn't even have to think twice about the situation. I can totally see us together for the rest of our lives, but why now? She is about to quit her job and go back to school full time. We can hardly afford our bills as of now... (are these even reasons not to get engaged?) The worst part is i practically shut down when we try to talk about it. I can't imagine life with out her but I hate the feeling that I have to do this by a deadline. I have known about this deadline for almost a year by the way, and the fact that I am talking about this even to you guys is a big deal for me. I plan on talking with her tonight as i understand how shitty it is for me to come this close to the deadline without making a decision. | Girlfriend of 4 years gave me until our 4th anniversary (next week) to to propose or she is going to leave me. |
t3_veo6n | AskReddit | Looking for a VoIP Provider | As the title says, I am looking for a VoIP Provider. I currently use Comcast for their triple play bundle, but it is time for me to split it up due to cost savings (my current Comcast bill is near $200.00 usd for internet,tv,phone and I have no way of lowering this within comcast without fully dropping service for atleast a month)
I've used the following providers in the past.
* Broadvoice - Low cost, just the sound quality was even lower than expected/hoped. But also due to low cost, this is half expected.
* Vonage - Middle to high end of what I wanted to pay, great line quality, crap for service and after getting shafted by them I will not use them for VoIP ever again.
* Call Centric - Works, middle of the road, quality so-so but everything costs extra, with most things pay by the min. Not the top of my list to use again.
---
I am currently looking at PhonePower, any one use them? Their rates are decent, and have decent features.
Or if you can recommend another VoIP Provider I am game, the overall goal is to keep costs under $25 (max) per month inc taxes/fees; that meets the following
* Unlimited incoming/outgoing (I understand most providers cap it to 5,000 minutes, that is fine)
* Decent voice quality (I don't want to sound like I am talking through a tin can, TeamSpeak had better voice quality than Broadvoice for crying out loud)
* Should work behind a router (I have no issue port forwarding the correct ports to the device, and it is much easier to run an ethernet cable to the device once instead of two ways to support it being in a different room than the cable modem)
* Should include a standard set of features (3-way calling, voicemail, call waiting, caller id, etc) at no additional charge. | Looking for new VoIP Provider, do not recommend broadvoice, vonage, call centric. Should meet a few features/goals as outlined above. Thinking of PhonePower, so reddit what do you recommend? |
t3_3iyv2x | relationships | My fiance and I don't want wedding gifts. We were called selfish. | Hey everyone!
So my fiance and I are having a very small wedding. No more than thirty people. We're going to a courthouse and then taking our guests to a restaurant. We're paying.
Most of the guests are very close friends, who like us aren't fiancially well off with the job market being so awful and such.
Then my family are all pretty poor as well. Especially my parents. My father was in a bad accident and may have to retire early due to his injuries. So my parents are doing pretty poorly right now.
Due to this my fiance and I though that it would be best to just tell everyone. "Come, celebrate with us, don't worry about a gift. " I talked to a few people about this and all of them have lost it on us. Calling us selfish and cruel for not allowing our guests to get us a gift. We don't need anything. We have been living together for a while and we've already paid for most thr wedding stuff and the rest will be paid off WAY before the wedding. So we don't need money, especially when we know our nearest and dearest is struggling.
So...I just want to ask why is it considered selfish to ask our guests to not worry about a gift that them coming is gift enough? | don't want our guests to give us gifts. People said we were being selfish. What wrong with not wanting our guests to spend money they don't have? |
t3_1n3idw | relationships | I [25F] started a dumb fight with my out of town boyfriend [26M] of 3 years, to which he said he needs space. It's been 3 days since he's talked to me, is this normal? | My boyfriend goes out of town a lot for his job. When he goes out of town he will go out with friends and get drunk. Not a big deal, I trust him, but sometimes when he's gone and I get drunk at night I'll start dumb arguments with him. I did this 3 nights ago, then the next day didn't remember and woke up to read the dumb things I said to him, mostly just me being insecure.
I was really embarrassed. I told him I'm going to try really hard to stop drinking, but that maybe we need a break and shouldn't talk until he gets back next week. He was obviously mad about the texts and said he just needed space. He hasn't talked to me in 3 days but will leave comments on my instagram.
Should I just keep leaving him alone and wait for him to text or call me first? I'm not sure if him leaving comments means he wants to talk but won't because I said we shouldn't talk until next week. It's just weird not talking to him for so long, especially because we live together, but I don't want to be clingy. | Got drunk and angry at my out of town boyfriend for something dumb, he said he needs space but seems to want to talk, should I just wait until he talks to me first? |
t3_17cn9f | AskReddit | Redditors who have had divorced parents or parents about to go into a divorce, what did you do to cope with it or keep them together? | Heres my story (I apologize in advance if there is misspellings I'm on a mobile).
My parents fight a lot, my mother usually starts them for the sake of fighting, she just picks fights all day after doing nothing. My father has put up with it for years and Years and it is getting worse and worse. My father has stopped caring it seems because it just happens so much. Yet tonight I confronted both of them and now my mother is planning on packing a bag and leaving the house to go live with my sister who is 4-5 hours away.
I'm too involved in school activities and friends to be able to go visit on a regular basis and having just become an atheist there isn't much for me turn to to cope with this. So let me here your story or how you coped with this sort of thing. I'd appreciate it. | Parents fight alot, mom snapped and is gonna leave the house, probable divorce to soon follow. I don't know what to do. |
t3_2mt4wj | relationships | How do I [15/M] get to know this girl [15/F] I am into? I have almost zero chances to do so. | I've been interested in this girl for quite some time now(We'll call her Anne, because that's her real name) but I am only recently starting to want a make a move. As a teenager I obviously have no experience talking to women much less people as I don't exactly have a way with words.
The girl in question is in 3 of my classes and we don't usually talk, nor do we sit close enough to start a conversation. In the halls she usually goes the opposite of my way getting to class and never goes to her locker, instead just class to class, followed by her friends, so I can never get her alone. Even when we walk across each other I freeze up and can never say anything, or even look at her, which is mostly my fault and I'm trying to fix that.
However, we do have play practice together but, again, she is surrounded by friends and we have no parts together (unless its dancing with the entire cast).
Basically, how can I start a conversation with this girl? I'd like to get to know her better, even if it takes baby steps. I know this is probably teenage problems but I can't ask my parents since they will (and have) belittle me about it. I'm comfortable talking to girl friends but initiating conversation with a girl I'm interested in and can never have time to talk during class is a whole other thing. | I'm into a girl, but can never get her alone except early in the morning for about 3 minutes. What do? |
t3_1hrkf2 | relationships | I (31f) trying to find a way to deal with all the lies from my ex husband (37m) | I will try to keep this short. My husband and I separated in November after almost four years of marriage. We didn't have children together, but since my daughters bio-dad isn't in her life, she considers my ex husband her father. I personally would like to have nothing to do with him. Even though we don't hate each other, I'm just sick of dealing with his ego and lies. Now his lack of honesty is starting to affect my daughter, and I'm pissed.
My daughter is going to camp, and since I'm on one income now, I asked that everyone try to help pay for it (grandparents, etc.). He said he would help. She is going on Sunday, and he still hasn't paid for it. He helps out with nothing for her financially. Not one single thing.
Now, I can handle him being useless and not giving me money, but he said he couldn't see her this weekend because he was "working to get the money he owes me". I just checked facebook and he is actually with his girlfriend at a sporting event. He won't see his daughter for over two weeks because we are going on holiday after her camp. She is very upset. She is only 10 and has said before that, "he is a liar". It was shocking to hear her say that, but that is how she feels.
I don't know if I should confront him about this or even how to do that. The last time I tried to talk to him about a similar situation, he hung up on me because I was, "bitching at him". He can lie to me, but I draw the line at him hurting my child. Help! | Ex husband is a deadbeat and keeps lying to me to get out of seeing his daughter. Need help confronting him. |
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